text:
Funny Questions #1
NEW CONTEST - FUNNY QUESTIONS -
The rules of this contest are simple

Write a funny question as an answer to this post. Put the title of that question following a #.

You may use plays on words, you may make fun of noobs, regular users, or smart users.

You may pretty much use any method you want to make your question funny.

The winner will be decided based on who has the most up votes.

Downvotes are Not Counted When determing the winner, so save your daily votes. (you only get 40)

Although I highly doubt there are any five-year-olds on this site, we must use the same rule from the previous image contests, and keep the entries "Politically Correct" .

The main point is to create a question that other users will see funny.

As of now, this will be a one time event. The winner will be chosen and his/her/its entry will be accepted. The link to that entry will be placed in the space below

The winner will be chosen on August 27th. Other entries are welcome after that, but the winners entree will stay accepted (even if new entries gain more upvotes).

YOUR QUESTION SHOULD NOT BE POSTED ON THE MAIN SITE OR IN ANY PLACE OTHER THAN THIS POST UNLESS YOUR QUESTION IS A REAL, SERIOUS QUESTION.

You may enter more than once, but only one can win (Obviously)

WINNERS AS OF 8-27-2015
Gold (first place) -  Silver (second place) - Bronze(third place)
Remaining Places

https://blender.meta.stackexchange.com/a/838/3127
https://blender.meta.stackexchange.com/a/849/3127
https://blender.meta.stackexchange.com/a/839/3127
https://blender.meta.stackexchange.com/a/833/3127
https://blender.meta.stackexchange.com/a/840/3127

Remaining Posts had less than 5 upvotes

Before you have a fit about this post being "off-topic" , it was discussed before, and the feedback was positive. If you have a problem with this post, you may rant here
This event has ended. You will find more funny questions at Funny Questions #2

IT CAME TO MY ATTENTION THAT THIS CRITCAL IMPORTANT OFFER WAS STILL VALID. HURRY WHILE IT LASTS.

How do I mark something as spam again?

I sure want more life spam.

How do I stop the smoke simulation?
I decieded to make a render of a factory blowing up in Blender Cycles.  So I used a cube for the factory and added a quick smoke with resolution 4.  But that looked terrible so found out how to really model and I modeled a huge factory with a surrounding lake, city, and forest (total 2.6*10^13 polys).  Then I used a smoke simulation with a 1 mile domain and 2048 resolution subdivisions and 16 levels of smoke high resolution and 43 separate emitters.
But when I tried to bake and render the scene I realized that I must have used too much smoke because it started coming out of my computer.  I couldn't even see my monitor for all the smoke billowing out of my machine, and the flames burned down my computer desk.
I'm pretty impressed with the realism so far, but I'd like to stop and restart the smoke simulation (with less smoke, say 36 emitters), but I can't figure out how to stop it.  So how do I stop (and undo) the smoke simulation?
System specs:

Intel Pentium II processor.  (I think that's what it is, all the documentation got burned up.)
128MB, 400MHz RAM.

By the way: I tried calling that Ton guy but his name is so long I fell asleep typing it into Google to get his number.

smokesimulationcyclesflaming-computer

You think Roosendaal is l;long? there's a guy on the local football team named Dominic Rogerscromaties.

1st add a particle system, use boids, name it "firefighters". then use a fluid simulation to extinguish the fire, add a forcefield wind and use it to get rid of the smoke.

What kind of program cuts off the head of its monkey?

HI, I'm not new to blender, but I have no idea what I'm doing.
I started blender because it appeared to be the only 3D program that included a prebuilt monkey. WHERE IS THE MONKEY??? I have only found the monkey's head in my program. yet I KNOW the whole monkey exists LINK TO WHOLE MONKEY!!!
HOW DO i GET MY POOR MONKEY A BODY????
tHIS WHOLE SOFT WARE IS USELESS TO ME IF i CANT GET A BODY FOR MY MONKEY. hOW AM i GOING TO MAKE MY MONKEY IN THE CLOUDS PICTURE WITH ONLY THE HEAD OF A MONKEY?
sorry caps
Thanks
modeling monkey objects point-clouds

I'm working on that, I might have an answer soon :-)

Goddamn, the smoke modifier on that monkey does seriously look awesome. Very inspiring.

This type of program!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=teGs5RLN2h4

HELP HELP HELP! URGENT BECAUSE I NEED THIS FAST, BUT DON'T PESTER ME WITH YOUR LINGO BECAUSE I NEED TO FINISH THIS BECAUSE IS AN EMERGENCY!
I DOWNLOADED THE REAL PROFESSIONAL EXPENSIVE VERSION OF BLENDER (NOT THE FREE ONE THAT IS ALL BUGGY AND UGLY) WHAT I NEED IS A TUTORIAL IN SUPERNOOB TERMS ON HOW TO IMPORT ALL OF MY  .JMRDS AND .KLOT AND .RESGOR FILES FROM MY MAC, AND MAKE THEM AS COOL AS THAT DUDE GANDALF3'S. WHENEVER I OPEN BLENDER IT ONLY SHOWS THIS GRAYSCREEN WITH SILLY LOOKING DOTS AND SQUARES AND ARROWS AND STUFF, BUT NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES I CLICK THEM THINGS ALWAYS LOOK WRONG. I REALLY NEED TO FINISH MY INTRO FOR ON MY TUTORIAL CHANNEL IN YOUTUBE AND SHOW EVERYBODY HOW COOL IS THE STUFF I CREATE THAT LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE MY VIDEOGAMES. PLEASE HURRY AND ANSWER ME BECAUSE I NEED HELP IN A HURRY.
ps. MY BLEND FILE YOU CAN DOWNLOAD FROM MY WEBSITE. REGISTER AND PAY THE YEARLY PREMIUM TO DOWNLOAD IT.
EDIT
. DON'T CLOSE THIS QUESTION AGAIN COZ IS NOT A DUPLICATE: the other guy that asked the same thing can wait and I need this ASAP.

That one made me smile. UVed

To late for the prize, but this one is probably the best one I have seen. Really brilliant on the wait bit. Also I like how you managed to stuff those evil import-export questions into here.

Need help making feature length movies
Hi, my name is Brad Pitty. I like to think i work in hollywood, but I am a looser writting this from an internet cafe. This is my face:
I need your help as an artist to work for no pay to single handeledly pull of a poorly written ambious script about a dog trying to befriend a hamster in a distopian city. You will get a credit as an assistent to effects production. I would also like it if you could mail me a dog and a hamster.

helpfull-time-jobfeature-length-vfx-move

nEED hELP dUMPED BY gIRL"FRIEND" [migrated]
mY GIRLFRIEND DUMPED ME YESTDAY BECAUSE me LOST me JOB AT PIXAR. i NEED TO GET IT BACK. hOW DO i USE BLENDER TO GET MY GIRLD FRIEND AND JOB BACK. mY PARENTS HAVE DISOWNED ME.

womenslef-helplifejob-request

migrated to dating.stackexchange.com by David♦ 1 hour ago
This question belongs on our site for people seeking answers to questions about dating and long-term relationships.

That edit tho XD

@David the time needs updating... Aug 19 '15 at 2:21 instead of 1 hour ago

HI EVERYBODY!!!!!
I have a problem, but you'll need some background information.
The Beginning
In 1972 I was born, now this is when the A-team was sent to court by a military court for a crime they didn't commit, (later they escaped) but I was very, very small then and don't remember much. I assume I cried and slept a lot, but I can't remember much about then. The first thing I do remember was around the time I was three. My brother was poking me with a pencil because I was crying too loudly, and mom was asleep. Of course, I didn't like being poked much, so I stabbed him with the pencil, and guess what - he went hollering to mom (waking her from her nap), who strapped me to a pole in the corner for a few hours. Of course she didn't believe me, because I was small. (the pencil didn't leave any dark marks because the lead was broken off.) that was before my birthday.
First Conflicts
For my fourth birthday I wanted toy soldiers so I could march into my brothers room and destroy all of the buildings in his city. But he (later I saw this as cheating) klobered me a good one and "nuked" all my army, which actually was a pillow he grabbed of his bead and started swinging randomly. he slipped on my plastic tanks and fell over backwards, allowing me to destroy a few buildings. This war continued till I was seven, when I built a giant mech out of spare parts in the yard, and smashed his military base. (I won- YAH!!!) After I turned seven, I discovered blender. It sat in my downloads folder for a few years, and I opened it for the first time after I saw a movie with awesome VFXs.
When I turned eight, I was forced to recite the Gettysburg address.

Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.
Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.
But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate -- we can not consecrate -- we can not hallow -- this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us -- that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion -- that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain -- that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom -- and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.

I did not like doing this much, but I had to. I got a B- on my recital, but only because I had to go to the bathroom, and sped through my recital. For Christmas that year I got my first nerf gun. :-) It was a basic model, semi auto, air powered. I modified it to be fully auto, and built a belt feeding system to feed the darts in rapidly. I spent most of my money that month buying extra dart packs, and I had a respectable LMG pretty soon. however, it didn't shoot to far, so I bought one of those 12 volt air compressors, and made it a Fun little toy. I was the un-disputed king of nerf wars.
27
When I turned nine, I became obsessed with the number 27. I memorized PI to 27 digits. 3.1415926535897932384626433 or 3.14159265358979323846264338 if your not counting the decimal point as a digit. I opened Blender again and duplicated the cube 27 times. The first thing I made was a castle (it was made of cubes, cylinders, and cones. (I did not know how to enter edit mode, so everything was manipulated in object mode.) I hit tab by mistake, and unlocked the secrets of edit mode. I extruded a cube, and I even made a ugly looking missile thing. When I turned ten, my birthday cake was (nearly) a perfect cube, and I made the frosting as close to the default color as I could. I found the game engine but I could not figure out how to do anything, so I closed blender in a mad fit, deleted all of my previous files, and annihilated any trace of the .exe (much, much, later I found yo-franki and  downloaded version 2.49)
Water Wars
I turned 11 in 1983, and I much enjoyed season 1 of the A-team. I learned many valuable lessons from that show, and started stockpiling weapons. I built my first machine gun in the school machine shop out of wood. It broke after a few rounds, but that experience was valuable. On april fools day, 1984 my brother replaced my pillow for a giant water balloon, only with my pillow case. He then shot a rubber band with a sowing needle taped to it at my pillow. I had to sleep in a soaked bed. the next day I snuck into his room and opened his window. I left the hose running thorough his window all day, and I had placed a bicycle tire tube under his door, like a gasket. When he went to bed that day, there was a large rush of water that came out of his door, and down the stairs. His bed reminded me of a large sponge, and I considered myself to have gotten even. Unfortunately, he considered himself the loser (that part was fine with me) only he then wanted to get even. I built a minigun that shot two inch water balloons, and mounted that to the lawn tractor. He thought he was soooo clever, filling a large bucket, and climbing a tree. I pummeled him in water balloons, un fortunately, he picked me upside down and dunked me into his bucket - which sadly was full of ice. I found that not too nice, so I nailed a large spring to his beedroom door, so it would slam shut on him. it worked perfectly, but I got in large trouble when he fell down the stairs.
Revenge on The Elder.
On my 13th birthday, I got my first paintball gun. I of course couldn't stand it's semi-auto lameness, so I modified it slightly to make it fully auto. I bought five more of the same model and modified them the same, and then set them on a rotating base to create a minigun. I really liked this setup, so I challenged my brother to a defend the fort match in the yard. (he thought I only had one semi auto gun) The prize was to be a bag of candy. (I really liked candy then) Being smaller and slower all my life, it was fun to see him so totally outgunned and helpless. I easily won, and I got the candy.
The Bunker - original plans.
I once saw a movie where aliens invaded the world, and only one person in a bunker survived. I immediately set out to make plans for my bunker. I opened blender again, and started making plans. I extruded a few cubes, and added tunnels, and lights. I wanted to find a place to put my bunker, so I looked on mapquest, but my dial up connection was so slow, that the maps would not load. I instead decided to build my bunker on somewhere in the middle of the ocean. When I was still 14, on a summer day, me and my brother went to the beach. I walked to the shore, and started swimming, I figured in a few days I could find a nice isolated spot to build my bunker. After a few hours of swimming, I started to get tired of swimming. The shore was a respectable distance away, but I knew I wasn't far enough. I don't remember how long I was out there holding on to a lobster buoy, but I got a nice helicopter ride form that "stunt"
First Job, First Friend
When I turned 15 I got a job working for a private detective. That job gave me a good excuse for calling around finding out secrets that most people couldn't know. My boss Jared was a Unique type of a conspiracy theorist, and suspected that the president was a extra terrestrial spy, waiting for a good moment to launch a mega alien invasion. He and I got along well. We predicted the exact time that the aliens would attack, and I helped him lay lead panels on the roof of his house to deflect protractor beams. We dubbed the president as MRAX for Mega Raquatyun Alien Xeompanatior. I have absolutely no idea what Raquatyun or Xeompanatior meant, but the name sounded cool, so we kept it.
The Election of 1988
I turned 16 in 1988. The presidential election was coming faster than we thought, and MRAX had served his two terms, as a result, he was not running again and would need to attack before he lost power. Jared and I assumed the aliens would attack at any moment. I tried to build a prototype of a mech, and I tried to find a episode of the A-Team where they prepared for an alien invasion. Unfortunately, Hannibal was more worried about Colonel Decker, then defending against aliens. So I turned to transformers, but they seemed too Sci-fy and un-realistic. I eventually designed the plans myself and got a working mech prototype. Jared liked the prototype and helped me build a larger model that could house a person. When the presidential election had come and gone, Jared went insane. He could not make any sense at all of why the aliens had not attacked, and seeing how MRAX was no longer in office, he lost his mind. (not literally-it stayed in his head the entire time) He did however end himself in an insane asylum, leaving me with all of his equipment and weapons he had stock piled. I was faced with the highly disappointing truth that MRAX was actually Not an alien spy. Although, while he was in his first term in office, he did seem a bit far out, after he changed his party affiliation, he no longer seemed like a wacky socialist.
Insane Jared
Left with a boss in an insane asylum, and most of his possessions, I turned my focus to more pressing matters. I knew that Jared would have wanted me to warn the world about the looming alien apocalypse. I sold what had been Jared's house, and bought a rather large barge, and (quite literally) Tons of concrete. I also was able to buy a crane, which I mounted to the ship. I was not ready to set out to sea yet, because I (being human) needed lots of popcorn and soda, but I could not bring an infinite amount to sea, and especially not into a bunker.
Building X-Apocalypse
I spent the next few years preparing for a major change in my status as a human. (mainly genetic research and boring stuff like that) I knew that when I was 27 would be an important occasion, so I was ready for the switch on a special day. Up until that point I had been building a new mech, but the driver space was far too small for me to fit in. My new mech was far more advanced then anything I had attempted yet. It took some heavy testing, and faced some major setbacks, but my new mech could run practically infinitely. (I had developed a mini-cold fusion generator.) I had originally called my new mech X-Apocalypse.
Full Digital
On January First, 1999, I ran the program on my new mech. it injected me with knockout gas. What I know now I did not see first hand, but watched later on my new body's memory bank. My mech body suit transplanted my brain into it's support system, and re-booted myself. I have to admit, it was a surprise being made of titanium, carbon fiber, and circuit boards with gold circuiting. I now saw that X-Apocalypse was too long of a name, and re-named my mech body to X-27. In year 2004, my new body was 5 years old. I was aware that my human brain cells would eventually die, so I started making  Human.exe, and it only took a few months to make. I was not alone when I tried to warn the world about the looming apocalypse. There was another. Gwenn was right when he warned you about artificial intelligence. I, however, have no plans of taking over the world.
The Portal - Bunker Complex
It was year 2005 that I finally loaded my barge full of all the supplies for my bunker - mainly things like precast concrete wall sections, steel, and wire. It took three months to lower the parts in place, and another month to connect them and make the complex air tight. I can not at this time disclose how I keep it pressurized, or how I power the complex. In 2007 I started creating a portal system. By 2009 it was operational. I knew that I could not stay in hiding forever, so I made my mailing address an abandoned oil rig. I also Built an airship, and a land base. However, my portal-bunker complex is my main base, and my charging bay.
Here and Now
It is now year AD2015
My human body (would have been) 44. I have been implanted in X-Apocalypse or X-27 for 16 years. although (as of now) I still have no plans for taking over the world, I have been calculating what I call TBPSFTWDAA (the best possible strategies for total world domination and annihilation). I also have been in cooperation with several users who will remain anonymous(1, 2, 3, 4  and 5) on a top secrete project that can be found here. However, a few weeks ago, I Encountered a problem. (I know what your thinking, because my human emotion prediction software can guess relatively accurately) - you're thinking FINALLY HE/IT GETS TO THE QUESTION wrong, More background is needed.
I first opened one of the project files. Now I thoroughly checked all of the logic, and there is nothing that would cause this error. it is simply a lot of no collision plants (not planes) with LOD. My problem is, when I try to start the game engine, by pressing  P  Nothing Happens!!! I know, right? Nutz!
I hope I gave enough details, but If anything is unclear, let me know and I'd be happy to data mine my memory banks to provide the nesisary clarification.

I think that the backstory had too little rant and was to interesting. I only skipped after the first paragraph.

you better read that, do you know how long it took me to write it?

I never realized that you where 44! I always throught you where, like, 7 or something.

I has same story with problem, help plz?!?!?!1?!1?!11one?!?11

You have an error on line 107 "in a insane asylum" should be "in an insane asylum"

I knew left something out! an entire N! Don't worry, I fixed it.

In an insane- sounds redundant

I just removed some grammatical and spelling errors, and added details on how and when I build the bunker.

Never take inspiration from the A-team, all they were ever able to shoot was car tires.

@PGmath  They either had absolutely horrible aim, or they never tried to actually kill anyone.

Can we ban gandalf3?
I have been on this site for 3 days, and have gotten only 5 rep. gandalf3 has over 60,000k. Since I am a super skilled blender expert and always got a A in writing class, I don't see how he could be better at rep earning then me. Therefore it is clear that he is lying and cheating.
Since he is a moderator, getting rid of him will not be easy, but I have a 11 step plan.

Destract him with a question
While he is destracted, enter his house
Sneek up behind him.
Hit the delete account button.
Make me moderator so I can block him from the site.
Upvote my posts
Downvote @gandalf3 posts.
Send me bitcoin to 13QG1WsU8eaH5ERAjudnPUmFuorw7DwwPM for my services

where are the last 3 steps? I'm lost!

@David That is the joke..... this dude "had" an 11 step plan but only managed to think of 8.

How do I get out of my Moms basement?
I have been living in my parents basement for the last 16 years after I finished my degree in computer sciences form Stanford. This arrangement has worked well, as my parents slid pizza under the door. Today I tried to get out for the first time and discovered the door is looked. I tried forcing it, and picking the lock didn't work. How do I get out. sorry if this is a little off topic.

+1 just for weird factor XD

Blender to lock! You might need an industrial one, but it should work in the long run.

@TARDISMaker I already tried that and am now bleeding to death.

First off, what kind of basement is it? field stone or concrete? What is the door made of? Is there anything else in the basement? (Tools, Spare parts, Etc) are there any windows, or is it completely underground? Is there any reason why someone else would un-lock the door and come into the basement? (to fix something that could be mysteriously broken)

If it is field stone, you would try removing a few lose rocks and tunneling your way out. If there are tools and spare parts, you could try building a non-lethal mounted gun and attach it to a vehicle and blast your way out. (like the A-Team did so regularly in seasons 1-4)

You could also sabotage some wiring, or cut the TV cable so someone would come down and fix it. when they open the door, BLAM - krong them a good one, and escape. You could also use the explode modifier on the door and blow it apart. Possibly the easiest solution would be to add a cube, scale and rotate it, and once it is in a good shape, you can use the Boolean modifier to create a tunnel leading to the outside. Once you hit apply and delete, the cube, you have a perfect tunnel leading to the outside.

@X-27 that last solution is so elegant!

Can I bake useful things in Blender?
I was reading about Blender and I think it is a really cool piece of software since it is so versatile.  It can do modeling, sculpting, rendering, compositing, games, and video editing; but what really peaked my interest (being an amateur pastry chef) was that it can even do baking!
But after looking further I have only found information on baking cloth, water, and smoke.  These don't seem like very useful things to bake, (I mean like seriously, who would bake water?!?).  So can Blender bake more useful things, like croissants?  And would it just do the baking, or would it knead and tourage for me too?

bakingcroissants

Ha ha! This is hilarious!

Where can I download the @Gandalf3 addon?

Is that the addon I saw on BN that automatically makes all your renders better?

Not only that... it makes the weaving of nodes taste like spaghetti!

Why is it that when I render my model becomes 2D?
I finally finished the tutorial for the BMW on youtube, I hit render and it looks great on my monitor. but it's still 2D, not 3D. How do I unstick it out of my monitor so that it becomes real 3D?
(I'm very disappointed, can someone please tell me how to get back the money I paid for this software?)

Another brilliant one, keep up the good work.

Need Help FAST: Blender problem
I'm trying to make an awesome sifi movie and I'm at this part where the bad guy shoots a gun (It is just a fake plastic nerf gun from walmart, but I hope that after vfx it will look COOL! I'm having my friend's older brother's baseball coach's uncle do the audio in this part) So in this part it will shows the bullet really awsome. Sorry noob question, but after I FINALLY got blender installed why does my blender not work like in tut? Problem is it is not working right.
PS if you guys will respond like in the next 10min I'll add you to the credits in my movie.
help blender-internal modeling n00b

Your blender might not be working like in that tutorial because he had bought the golden plated platinum core premium license for total blender awesomeness. If your running the free version, you are probably experiencing all of those super hard features the developers put in to confuse people. With the premium license, the complicated features are a lot simpler to use, and you can even morph a bunny into a dragon with a simple click of a button.

PLEASE, PUT ME IN THE CREDITS OF YOUR MOVIE! NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

i THINK iT'S BECAUSE THE TUTORIAL IS USING BLENDER 2.89. WE'RE CURRENTLY WAITING FOR TESTBUILDS OF THIS VERSION (THEY GIVE IT OUT TO THE PEOPLE WHO PAY THE MOST FIRST).

i WaNT TOOW bE iN TEH CREDITS!!!!!!

#CreditsBomber - the guy that everyone knows is in there that really shouldn't be

considering the quality of this movie, I'm pretty glad I didn't make the creds and it didn't go on my resume. no offense to anyone... :P

@VincentScalia my friend's older brother's baseball coach's uncle (nick) is very offended.

he can be. he sucks

Nasty Problem
Blender wont work. I have a headake.

I weplaced my keeboard and it still wont work.
I got Realy Realy mad!

I tout that computer a lesson!!!
now NOTHNG is working!!!
at all

How do I fix it???
Edit: I tried increasing the voltage to my keyboard, but that obviously didn't help.

hellpppnothing-is-workingm-16nato-roundscomputerflaming-computer-with-sparks-coming-out-of-it-i-have-a-head-ache-now-my-motor-chair-has-a-dead-battery-and-now-my-m16-has-jammed
i-thought-you-could-only-have-five-tags
now-i-have-seriously-too-many-tags

COOL GIFS = VOTES

SO you live in the middle of a perfectly flat rocky surface, with a computer. I presume the window is behind the camera. Just curious HOW DID YOU FIND THAT PLACE!

I spotted it with one of my spy satellites, and used my portal to teleport there.

lol., nice particles

@VincentScalia not particles, that is totally BGE

i don't care if yuou made them without a particle generator, they're still particles.

How to I puree?
I downloaded BLENDER and am now trying to make a smoothy. I seem to be unable to put fruit in. I tried the USB ports but only the carrorts when in. So me DECIDED TO MAKE STUPID CARROT SMOOTH BUT I CANNNNNNOOOOT find the puree button... I also want to make a photoreaistic portrait in my blender, but I only found the mix ice puree and slice options, no f21 key. My mom was also made at me for putting PAINTS into her blender.... whichs ish why i had to download one.

iam6hlpme---plz

FINALY!!!! The large moo moo has revealed his age!!!!!

WARNING: Rendering a portrait in your blender may result in serious injury or death!

@NoviceInDisguise I don't think you understand, you put a portrait into Blender, then you render it useless.

Ah I see! I always wondered why people were shocked at my method of rendering portraits!

Don't try to render your pets with this special version of Blender!

These comments are way better then the original post

Problem with my file
I'm a total noob here, (I mean, woorse than most noobs - when I say I'm a noob, I mean I spent an entire day clicking and watching that red crosshare thing move around, and then I spent another hole day tryin to moddel a cube, I tried scalling a plane along the Z axis, but it wouldn't scale.) Sorry for my bad english,  and spleping -it is my nativ language.
anyway, here is the link
any help is apritiated,
thanks.
by the way, my projct is due in 8 days, so I want and answer and I want it now!
blender-filesedtinggeneral-electricnoobuber-noob
tagduplicate-tagun-tagedproblemnot-workingmodelliingproblems

mmmh.. either the file doesn't exist or was deleted; or the file is password protected and you gave the wrong password..

it is my nativ language... lol +1

Help, iu can't reach the hotkeys!
I have 5 of my fingers stuck in a whiffle ball, they've been like that for about a  week now. The doctor says they'll eventually die from lack of blood, then fall off and my hands will be free, but until then, I can't figure out how to use blender effectively! Doing certain tasks and reaching certain keys causes me excruciating pain!!
So far this question has taken me 45 minutes to type with my thumbs and nose, and obviously that isn't an effective work method.
Specifically, I'm having trouble manipulating the screen because I can't grip the mouse and I'm having trouble with some of the hotkeys in the middle of the keyboard.(G, H, J, F) I would normally re-set them, but blender is so complicated, theres no keys I could set them to without losing a special function that I might need later.
Remember, this is only a temporary predicament, but I have a project for school I need to complete ASAP! help please!

lol, I tried to take a picture of  my hands stuck in a whiffle ball for effect, but those of you who know me know my hand size... it didn't work. I found the biggest ball I could but still couldn't even get my pinkie finger into it... lol

You can use Voice control. It's really stupid, but it might help you ;) http://www.blendernation.com/2015/06/06/use-speech-recognition-to-execute-blender-keyboard-shortcuts/

I tried that, but I noticed that you need to be a Texan for it to understand you.

Told you it was stupid.

This is amazing.... I thought my fake posters were pathetic..... rofl

Why isnt the Alt - F4 Command working?
My friend told me that if I press alt f4 it will create a massive city and godzilla but instead my blender closes.
Why does this happen?
P.S. Check out this awesome model I spent a long time on!

(edited out thanks because you cant say that)

were you in edit mode or object mode when you pressed Alt F4?

@David whats edit mode

https://www.google.com/search?q=edit+mode

@David i clicked on the first link and it was talking about ms dos. so i think i was in edit mode

You might need to turn down the settings for how big you want the city to be created. Blender is probably crashing because the city and monster you are tying to generate is way, way too big. (Your computer probably can't handle all the awesomeness blender can generate from one button) Here is a tip. You need to spend a long time modeling at least one item to be put in the city, (blender needs something to go from), IMPORTANT make sure you Have Not Saved it. (saving it throws a bug that makes the Alt+F4 city generator not work.)

@X-27 I don't think I need to turn down the settings. im on windows 1.0 , my processor is a single core with a 5KHz clock speed and 128 bytes of ram. the computer also takes up my whole room so its probably powerful enough to generate a city and Godzilla

Try upgrading to a Raspberry Pi, you'll get way better performance. Size isn't everything-

@X-27 thanks I'll try it out. I've heard that people at Pixar and dreamworks use raspberry pi too

Help!! Blender Not Working!!!
HI, I'm new to blender. Blender is not working. I tried throwing my computer through a window as @GiantCowFilms suggested, but Now I only have a very broken window, and a dented computer. I plugged it back in. I tried doubling the voltage hoping that overclocking my computer would give the needed performance. I am now at a library computer asking this, because my computer is now in a few different oddly shaped pieces now, and a few of them are still smoking. I can distinctly smell that nice burning plastic smell, kinda like you can smell when electronics are burning. I'm pretty sure that is what happened. What I really don't get is, why my computer had any thing to do with my blender. None of the suggestions so far came remotely close to getting the blade to start.
Thanks!

I think there's a button that fixes that in the texturing tab.

I'm running on 120 Volt AC Power, so I can't imagine what is causing this.

@TARDISMaker lol XD

Well, in that case, you may have to add a decimate modifier so that your computer can handle the geometry. But don't underestimate the Texturing tab! Especially when you're working with cycles!

More details, it is about 87℉ my favorite color is blue, and I do not have a pet dog.  The plug is a standard 120 Ac outlet, and White birch trees look cool.

Ah, see! It's the pet dog! Every 3D artist needs one, or what you just described happens!

Thanks, I'll have to get one so my computer doesn't suffer in the future!

Rendering a bookshelf
So yesterday, I finished modeling my bookshelf. It took a few hours, and it was really difficult, but I got it done.
So today, I was planning on focusing on rendering. So I hit the render button, and the book shelf showed up, but it seemed pretty normal to me. I tried a few more times, but no matter what I did, I couldn't render it useless.

Maybe the books in it are too smart?!?!

Who said there where any books? If I wanted to render the book shelf useless, I would make sure that it wouldn't have a use before rendering it.

Aaaah I see! This sounds like the doctrines of Confucius to me, isnt it?

@Jonathan No, no, no, it's from "Explorations in Stupid Psychology With Cake"

Maybe you have to add more uselessness with books like this: http://www.amazon.com/Book-Useless-Information-Noel-Botham/dp/0399532692/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1440015330&sr=1-1&keywords=useless+book

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I NOW KNOW HOW TO RENDER MY BOOKSHELF USELESS WITH A BOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Premium Leather handbags
We are proud to present premium luis vutton leather handbags, made only from high quality polyester. These hand crafted works of art, made in the famed workshops of south bejing, have genuine metal clasps, and quality seems made using the highest quality superglue with artisan printed stiches. Now on sale, 98% off, just $45.00! Today is your lucky day. Don't have any regrets buy now from our secure server!!!! We accept all credit card numbers!!!!!!
For one day only we will take bitcoin private keys...

child-labor-goodno-scamremove-pc-virusauto-insuranceplant-face

I would nuke that post in less then 10 sec. (and probably the user too)

.. Being a Cow,  why are you selling leather? :P

@someonewithpc "made only from high quality polyester" :P

@GiantCowFilms Right, I meant  """""leather""""""

Noob Problem!! My blender isn't rendering!
i have bin trying to render gravl in my blender, and i cant figure out how to do it :P i tried cliking the buton with my mowse, but thet just turned on setting 7, which os pulse, and crashed all the windows D: i lowded it on my desktop and everting!!!! maybe i shud jest put it in te resykl bin and b dun :(
thanks from uberNoob_18q9384769k2 :-\
btw, wher do i ask kwestins about winduw repare?!?

Generally question regarding winduw repare are asked with the tag winduw repare. Just a tip, make sure that you have at least 1000 samples, or winduw repare won't have enough information to fix the window you through your computer out of.

HOW DO I MAKE MBRRYYYLLP LOOK COOL
i wanting to 3d print a big robot type thing that looks a bit like pizza it's for a movie i making was asking everybody i knew about what i could use to 3D print my big robot type thing that looks like pizza (mbryyyllp for short). My brother told me about Blender, so I decided to download it and try it out. I just opened it today. When the interface popped up, I noticed that there was a cube in the center of the viewer thingy. Now I know this is a 3d modeling app but usually when you can render stuff in that app it opens up with a suzanne uually it's not just a suzanne but a manifold suzanne So a bit angry at whoever develops this stupid piece of software, because everyone knows, that new users can't open a piece of software, and see a cube so after a while after looking through the add menu decided that most mbryyyllp's have bones so the bone type was the perfect thing took a long time but i finally was able to shape them into a mbryyyllp i decided that it. was time to render it so i hit. the render animation button and not only did it not animate, but it didn't show up at all! i dd lot work to try to figure it out i googled how to fix it but I couldn't find it even when i went far back page 2048. i decided to ask here. what i doing wron how can make mbryyyllp show up and look awesome why would someone. name themself david how do i eat plasic why is my computer slow how do I makeVFX in wndows movie maker i think you forany help you might have, and you don't help me i hunt you down and dad kill your

If you add a explode modified to mbryyyllp, he will look awesome. Your computer could be running slow because the pizza made it sticky, and the last time I put a pizza in my CD drive, the computer wasn't happy. Try running blender in binary code, it may improve performance when rendering awesome VFX because it won't need to render the VFX. Even if you don't render the VFX, I'm pretty sure an explode modifier will help, but stay away from the ocean modifier, unless your computer is water proof.

@X-27 you tried to send pizza through your cd drive too?

@X-27 YOU IDIOT WANT TO DO VFX IN WINDOWS MOVIE MAKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just downloaded Blender 2.75 and I've been having some issues. Basically, every few minutes, Blender crashes my computer. I'm not sure entirely why it's happening, but it's definately happening.

I've got my kids on the bike 24/7, so I know it's not an issue with electricity, I'm running Windows 95, so I know that I have enough hardware power. I just can't figure out what it is!
Thank you from India to anyone who can help me out.

Hey! No need to be racist

India was the only place that I could think of that seemed poor enough to be funny. But the joke would have been racist to some place anyway. I just hope that the people from there can laugh along with us (or at least the people who find this funny)

REAL EXAMPLE #1:

Giving lettes an individual node
First of all. Im a total noob at blender. I only have a few days of training.
I am working on a logo for an animation. Im trying to bake the scene, but my text is too long for only one bake map (or texture or what ever) So I have seperated each letter so they can be baked one at a time. But they all still share the same node ?
How do I give them one each ?

HOW DO I GET $$ FRUM REP
i noticed thet som peple have A LOT OF REP and i was wonderin if maybe ther is a way to MAKE MY REP INTO DOLLAS sos i kin get rich. I NEED SOM QWIK MULLA or my CABLKE TV will be TURNED OF ON ME so if thers a way, pls HELP

Not currently earned rep, but you can with future rep. All that you do is instead of spending that effort on a stack exchange post, you use it to earn money at a job

@GiantCowFilms XD Good advice :P

I can has the bronze icon as dollaz?!?!

Dudez You all nuubs
You need ot hit Ctrl-Q to fix your problemz...duzh

Closed as not a question by X-27, David♦ Aug 19 at 3:26
This should be an answer although it would probably get deleted anyway.

I think there is a rule about acting like a mod, or putting fake notices on questions. I will bring this to the mods attention, O wait, I am one.

Okay... I thought it was cool here....

It is no problem for me, or probably any of the other 2 mods, but if other mods happen to see it... Probably fine, and I would leave it just kind of a heads up.

How do i Bake a cake in blender?
I have a mesh of a cake , but the thing is my materials are not eatable when i 3d print them!
I'm stuck because i don't know what I did wrong here and I need the cake for tonight.
I tried putting the cake in a cube and fluid-simulated chocolate but it now tastes even worse.
EDIT : I realized i forgot to add heat ! , adding quick fire made it taste better, now it's just a matter of fine tuning the nodes and alt-Duplicating

first you need to UV unwrap properly, then you should go to the render tab-Bke.'

license: Creative Commons - Attribution Share-Alike - https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/


text:
"Improve the Blender Manual" event proposal
The Blender manual still has many rough spots from it's recent migration from the old wiki.
Many pages are severely out of date, incomplete, or missing.
Since we are a community of Blender users who spend time writing about how to use Blender, I thought it would be a good idea to organize an event to contribute en mass to the official manual project.
Having a good manual is not only beneficial to Blender and it's users, but also can directly enhance SE content by providing a consistent and easily-linked reference for answerers and questioners alike — provided it's complete and up to date.
But wait! I thought the devs were supposed to do this?
Well, yes, developers do write documentation. But a lot of documentation from the old wiki ended up mostly disorganized, not very consistent, and over time became out of date.
To fix this, a switch was made to Sphinx (the same system used for the python API docs). Hopefully this system will provide a more controlled and organized platform for managing the manual once the docs which were imported from the old wiki are cleaned up. There is are large amounts of still out-of-date and incomplete documentation, and cleaning all of it up is a monumental task for only a few people. Developer time is precious, and naturally it's in the interest of blender users to ensure that they have as much time as possible to make blender more awesome ;)
Alright then, what's the idea?
I suggest putting on a site event for a week and creating a dedicated chat room where fellow documenters can exchange ideas and ask questions.
Perhaps we could set some kind of goal for the end of the week, e.g. clear 10 tasks from the to-do list.
I want to start right now! Where do I go?
Well, we aren't starting just yet..
See this meta post for details!

Do you think it would be possible to convince a developer/expert to drop by and help anyone who is baffled by some of the confusing technical overhead? Probably unlikely, but it would be cool

@GiantCowFilms I expect we could get Greg Zaal in on it (he was hired by blender to work on the docs).

@GiantCowFilms What technicalities in particular?

@gandalf3 Sphinx setup, svn... committing the entire thing

@GiantCowFilms For the most part probably I or Greg Zaal can answer such questions. It's when things go wrong that we might need an expert..

The docs could definitely use your guys' help :) I can help where I can - just poke me in the chat or on irc (pixaal)

This sounds like a fantastic idea, I'd love to participate!  I also might note that in many cases people who are naturally good at something are very bad at explaining it, so it often isn't a great idea to have devs write manuals.

source: Stack Exchange

license: Creative Commons - Attribution Share-Alike - https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

sort: votes


text:
Improving the Blender manual
So to follow up my previous post, the manual project chat room is live and ready for action!
Contributions of all shapes and sizes are welcome.
How do I start?
If you're unfamiliar with the manual editing process, it essentially goes like this:
Setup build environment
Install SVN and Sphinx.
You'll only have to do this once. It's a bit of a complicated process if you're unfamiliar with version control, but setting things up now will vastly speed up your workflow in the future.
Feel free to ask any questions in the chat room.
Pick something to fix
Right now problems are so plentiful you can probably find a good place to start just by looking at the manual, but there's always something on the tracker to pick from.
To avoid conflicting work it may be a good idea to create and claim a task on phabricator, or at least check that no one else in the chat room is already working on the same thing.
When writing new sections from scratch be sure to check that the section doesn't already exist somewhere; in some places the docs are so disorganized that sections may not be where you think they are. If you find a "hidden" section like this which might be better placed elsewhere, create a task describing which files should go where and why.
Do note that many existing files in the manual don't follow the style guides since they were imported from the wiki, so be sure you base your writing off the official guide and not existing files.
Write documentation
The manual is written in RST (reStructuredText) markup.
The guide on the manual should explain most the the syntax you'll need to know, including some constructs specific to the blender manual.
Be sure to read the writing style guide and verify your documentation follows the guidelines.
The main purpose of the manual is to provide a consistent, reliable, and maintainable reference.
Tutorial-like step by step instructions detailing how to do a particular task are not considered good material for the manual.
Submit for review
To make sure the manual stays organized and maintains a good quality standard, submitted contributions are reviewed before putting them on the manual.
Create a diff and upload it to phabricator (developer.blender.org) for review:

Create an account on developer.blender.org if you don't have one already.
Create a revision by clicking the Submit Code button on the home page.
Once presented with the submission page, either upload your diff file or copy/paste it's content into the Raw Diff box. When finished, click Create Diff.
Review the diff phabricator sees to ensure it's correct, then click Continue.

You should now be presented with a form. Write a descriptive title and briefly describe the purpose of the patch and what it changes. Set the reviewer to Documentation. I also like to set the Repository and Project, but this is optional.

Developers or other documenters will review your submission to make sure it follows the guidelines and fits in with the rest of the manual. They may have a few suggestions, in which case you may find yourself wanting to update the revision with a new diff.
To update a revision, follow the same steps as above, but on step 3 select the revision you wish to update in the Attach To drop down:

Don't worry if this sounds complicated! As always, feel free to ask any questions in the chat room.
I don't feel like writing documentation, but I want to help
Another way you can help is by finding problems with the manual and reporting them here. As always, it's a good idea to check that the problem hasn't been reported already.
Resources
Links to useful places

Writing style guide
RST syntax reference
The #blenderwiki IRC channel
The Bf-docboard mailing list
Talk at Bcon 2014 explaining the rational behind the switch from MediaWiki to Sphinx.

Show off your contributions!
Once you have added a new contribution, please add a link to the diff page here as an answer. It will encourage others and give an opportunity to receive feedback.
But please try to keep review comments/feedback on phabricator.

Would be good to have those instructional images on the blender manual's contribute page https://www.blender.org/manual/about/contribute.html

@RayMairlot Unfortunately gifs are discouraged..

Clean up glossary

Define a styleguide
Clean up glossary entries which don't conform to the style guide.
Also just rewrite a few more entries.

Contribute.rst
I was editing the timeline page to improve it, when I discovered while searching for a page to link to, that one, very good one, already existed. I ended up wasting a good deal of time. I have added this revision to warn future writers about thsis pitfall.

Good catch, thanks.

Re-organize "getting started" section
This shuffles a lot of pages out of /getting_started/basics which didn't really belong there.

Standardize Game Engine Controllers
I moved all the standard parts of the game engine controller into one file.

I think there should be a better understanding and reorganization for the programming section of the blender manual. The problem I see for other BGE and BL users is that they go in and are scared to code in python. In-fact they are because there is no explanation on how to code in BGE and BL except for the fact that you need to go get a "Python Programming" book which is true, however, that book isn't about how python code will function in BGE and BL.

This isn't really the proper place to hold a discussion on these sorts of things. The "official" places for documentation discussion is on the mailing list or IRC.

You could also make a task on phabricator

all_licenses: Creative Commons - Attribution Share-Alike - https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/


text:
Site index proposal for useful reference questions/answers
Often when answering a question it is useful to point the OP towards another question or answer for more information on a particular topic.
I often see such questions and/or answers come up that I think would be useful to reference in the future.  However when the time comes to reference a particular post I often can't find it due to the quite miserably pathetic search capabilities of SE.  Currently I try to solve this problem by favoriting the questions when they come up.  But that doesn't really work well as now my favorites are getting rather large.
So to solve this problem I propose that we start a community wiki post on meta where we list and categorize useful questions/answers that could be used as reference.  What are your thoughts?

An excellent idea! (even an exclamation mark.)
I would suggest an  one answer for each subject Example: "Modeling tips", "Cycles Materials", "Python reference" "Awesome answers", etc.
The "Awesome answers" section would be kind of a best of BSE list. Where we not only put, gandalf's answers :) but any answer that has been very well received by the community, and seems that everybody should read it at some point.

Exactly what I was thinking, I like the "awesome answers" idea too.  I'll wait a little bit to get a little more input then I'll create it.

What would be the difference between an "awesome answers" section and this search sorted by "votes"? That said, it would be nice to have fleshed out references for common questions (e.g. flipped normals)

@gandalf3 some of the highest voted answers would not make that list. Example, this is more of a hidden gem list then highest voted.

I thought adding some type of categories would work, which everyone can create for themselves. It could work exactly as favourites: one clicks star, and dropdown menu pops up with previously created categories by the user (rss-reader feedly works in similar way). But it seemed to me it could be  harder to achieve

Well it seems this is an acceptable idea.  I'll try to get around to posting it today.

@gandalf3 and David I've started it up here, please feel free to edit the question if you think it needs improvement, and start adding links!


text:
Is this SE running communtiy promotion ads?
I recently made a new area51 proposal and i heard about some SEs running community promotion ads like:(see the links)
http://physics.stackexchange.com
http://earthscience.stackexchange.com

Update
As of September 10, 2015 we are starting the community ads.
Community Promotion Ads - 2015

Old answer for the beta site below.

TL;DR
Nope

Beta sites on the SE network do not get community ads, only full sites.

In response to the popularity of that program, we've extended this vote based advertising program to all the public Stack Exchange sites.

From Community Promotion Ads
When we graduate (we are in the process now) then we will get ads. (How often do you see people asking for ads?)


text:
Helpful post reference index
This is a place to keep track of and categorize good questions or answers which may be helpful to refer to at a later time, a kind of general Blender reference index.  If you find a post which you think belongs here feel free to add it to the corresponding answer.
Please keep a few things in mind when adding to the list:

This is for keeping track of general descriptions of basic Blender tasks or common questions/answers that arise, which would be useful to point other users towards in the future.
Please follow the organization already set up.  Each category (not link) has it's own answer.  To add a reference just edit the proper answer and add the link.  If you feel you need to create a new category please ask about it first and get approval.
If you do add a new category please also edit this post to add it to the contents section below (in alphabetical order).
This is not a place to put links to your posts just to get rep.  That said, if you honestly feel that a post of yours meets the standards feel free to add it.
Use the share button under an answer to link to a specific answer, see this meta post.

Contents:
Blender Internal (render engine)
Cycles
Modeling
Python Scripting

Note: this was discussed in meta here, if you have any comments or questions about this post please add them to the original meta proposal.

related: http://meta.blender.stackexchange.com/questions/1067/frequenty-asked-questions-on-blender-stack-exchange

Modeling

Explanations and technical stuff:

Applying transforms
Texture coordinates description
Explanation of normals

Common problems:

Inside faces caused by mirror

Tips:

Quickly creating a city
Creating a spiral "onion dome"

Cycles

Explanations and technical stuff:

Differences from BI
Explanation of ray tracing
Explanation of BVH
BVH settings
Branched path tracing
BSDF description

Tips and tricks:

Finding edges/corners of a mesh
Speeding up rendering interior scenes
Avoiding aliased edges around emission shaders
Bluring a texture
Enabling GPU rendering

Useful shaders:

Sci-fi force field shader
Old painted cement shader
Mirror shader
Snow shader
"Moon rock" shader
Sugar cube

Blender internal (render engine)

Differences from Cycles

Python scripting

Tips:
Helpful code snippets:


text:
How do I know if a new tag is warranted?
Today I made a post involving the mist pass and typed in a tag for "mist" but then the confirmation dialog popped up and I had second thoughts because maybe "mist" can be categorized under "render-passes". How specific is too specific? How general is too general?

Brilliant question! It would be good to revisit this I think (in the past we've often discussed how specific tags should be). To get a rough upper bound for the number of questions which would likely use such a tag, a search like this can be helpful.


text:
How did my deleted question get a comment?
I deleted my question pretty quickly after it was posted when I realized I'd posted on Blender SE instead of Python SO. But it still received a comment afterward. Is it really gone?
This is the "share" link to the question, but it seems that since it is deleted - nobody can see it, or at least leave comments?

When you've got enough reputation, you can view deleted posts, see: http://blender.stackexchange.com/help/privileges/moderator-tools It seems that moderators are also able to comment on deleted posts.

That was me, and moderators can comment anywhere, anytime.
When a post is deleted it is not removed from the site.

What does deletion mean for a post?
Deleted posts are usually not physically deleted (that is, removed from the system); they're just hidden (AKA soft-deleted). This means they won't appear in search results or data dumps, and normal users following links to them will see a 404 (not found) page explaining the cause of deletion.
Moderators, and normal users with >=10k reputation, see all deleted posts that they have links to.

Quoted from: How does deleting work? What can cause a post to be deleted, and what does that actually mean? What are the criteria for deletion?
So while you did delete it, now that you posted a link to it any user with 2,000 rep (on a beta site like ours) can still read it.
I just added the comment because I thought it would be helpful (nobody can answer a deleted question).

Aha! OK thank you for the explanation. So a deleted question just gets more and more difficult to "find" (after 60 days for example) unless I keep a personal copy of the link somewhere. And apparently that's what I did without realizing it by adding a link in this question. OK, live and learn. Thanks!


text:
How does the community bot cast close votes?
I recently marked a question as a duplicate (here).  When I came back later to look at it I noticed that it had been closed and the only two votes were from me and the Community ♦ bot-user moderator.  How does this bot cast close votes?

It seems the OP is prompted to confirm if their question is a duplicate. If they click yes, then the question is closed by Community ♦. I can't find an official source for this though.. Another way this can happen is if a user that voted to close is subsequently deleted.

@gandalf3 I think the feature was first mentioned with this post: http://meta.stackexchange.com/questions/250981/new-ui-encourages-askers-to-confirm-or-dispute-duplicate-votes but it is only in this answer that it is explicitly mentioned that Community will be listed as a close voter: http://meta.stackexchange.com/a/250930

@RayMairlot Excellent! You appear to be gifted with the ability to find anything ;)


text:
Congratulations! Blender is graduating!
It's a big day. You've been cleared for graduation by the Stack Exchange Community Team! Blender has already met our threshold for graduation-worthy sites, and today joins in the new design-independent graduation process! Reaching 'mature community' status is a big milestone, and you should be very proud.
You've already had an election to have celebrated this previously, but now you will receive the remaining benefits detailed in this process, which include:

You will no longer see the "beta" label attached to your site's name
You will become eligible for question migration paths with the rest of the network
You will be able to select your own community ads

In the coming months, the site will receive a full design from one of our designers, which will be packaged with an increase in the amount of reputation needed to access each privilege. It's no secret that our backlog for site designs is long, and although you're looking at wait of several months, we wanted to give you the things we could give you now. There are also bound to be bugs as the new process gets rolled out so if you come across anything out of place, please report it on Meta Stack Exchange using the [graduating-sites] tag.
This site has reached this point because of your generous contributions. Together, you've created a valuable resource that helps people. Congratulations on all you've accomplished.

Awesome news! Congrats everybody!

Yay! Congrats everyone! I assume our chance to try and get custom stuff comes when the design is implemented?

@gandalf3 We need more then that, http://meta.blender.stackexchange.com/questions/610/things-to-address-with-stack-exchange-upon-graduation

Can't tag the OP, but if anyone can answer this: http://meta.blender.stackexchange.com/questions/904/does-the-community-have-any-say-over-the-design

status-completed
Our chat still says "beta". I think the developers should be notified of this, since this design-less graduation is a new thing.


text:
Community Promotion Ads - 2015
As your site is undergoing our new design-independent graduation process, you'll be enjoying your own run of design-independent Community Promotion Ads!
What are Community Promotion Ads?
Community Promotion Ads are community-vetted advertisements that will show up on the main site, in the right sidebar. The purpose of this question is the vetting process. Images of the advertisements are provided, and community voting will enable the advertisements to be shown.
Why do we have Community Promotion Ads?
This is a method for the community to control what gets promoted to visitors on the site. For example, you might promote the following things:

the site's twitter account
interesting Blender addons, tutorials, and other resources
relevant events, conferences, or meetups
anything else your community would genuinely be interested in

The goal is for future visitors to find out about the stuff your community deems important. This also serves as a way to promote information and resources that are relevant to your own community's interests, both for those already in the community and those yet to join.
Why do we reset the ads every year?
Some services will maintain usefulness over the years, while other things will wane to allow for new faces to show up. Resetting the ads every year helps accommodate this, and allows old ads that have served their purpose to be cycled out for fresher ads for newer things. This helps keep the material in the ads relevant to not just the subject matter of the community, but to the current status of the community. We reset the ads once a year, every December.
The community promotion ads have no restrictions against reposting an ad from a previous cycle. If a particular service or ad is very valuable to the community and will continue to be so, it is a good idea to repost it. It may be helpful to give it a new face in the process, so as to prevent the imagery of the ad from getting stale after a year of exposure.
How does it work?
The answers you post to this question must conform to the following rules, or they will be ignored.

All answers should be in the exact form of:
[![Tagline to show on mouseover][1]][2]

   [1]: http://image-url
   [2]: http://clickthrough-url

Please do not add anything else to the body of the post. If you want to discuss something, do it in the comments.
The question must always be tagged with the magic community-ads tag. In addition to enabling the functionality of the advertisements, this tag also pre-fills the answer form with the above required form.

Image requirements

The image that you create must be 220 x 250 pixels
Must be hosted through our standard image uploader (imgur)
Must be GIF or PNG
No animated GIFs
Absolute limit on file size of 40 KB
If the background of the image is white, there must be a 1x1 border of not-white at the edges of the ad

Score Threshold
There is a minimum score threshold an answer must meet (currently 6) before it will be shown on the main site.
You can check out the ads that have met the threshold with basic click stats here.

Support Blend-Exchange, the free long-term .blend hosting site. This ad will show new users where they can upload .blend files.

Resolution is not an issue, see here: http://meta.apple.stackexchange.com/a/1884

"If the background of the image is white, there must be a 1x1 border of not-white at the edges of the ad" --- so #fefefe  ?  :)

@zeffii Fixed, borders have been added

@zeffii For the record, I voted for #fafafa :P.

Is the gradient necessary? I think plain white would be nicer and more in-keep with the site look.

I guess not, but I tried a few different things, and plain white looked too, well plain. I do agree that it looks a little dark, will lighten it up.

@David maybe just a background similar to the twitter add? I personally think that would look best.

For some reason the alignment of the blender logo bugs me.. What about shifting it over (like this)?

I don't know exactly what, but something about "get the program" seems a little odd, kind of blunt if you know what I mean.  I definitely think we should advertise blender.org, but maybe someone could think of a little more "suave" way of putting it. :)

Maybe you need to use Real flow for a fluid sim, or 3DS max for a job! Either way you will need SE quality resource that has all the answers you need. Make this a reality! Join the proposal now (We also need sample questions).

Why the down votes? This is perfectly relevant to this site, and may be helpful for Blender users who also use other commercial packages in their workflow. Besides, there is no official place on stack exchange for Max, Maya, Modo, and Zbrush quetions. Why not add the missing Q&A site?

By the way, this won't be representing our site on other site. This will be appearing on the margins of this site, ad is to gain support for this Area51 proposed site: http://area51.stackexchange.com/proposals/86368/3d-graphics-modeling-animation?referrer=4bIZIhmQJeWKQcyqcR7pKw2

Final note: We are graduating. If anyone is afraid this site will consume us and get merged with us, fear not, the chances are low

I'm not sure I understand this ad. If it is to gain support for a new site, why does it say 'Learn to Model and Texture'? I also don't think it's clear that '3D Graphics' is the name of a proposed stack site.

@RayMairlot This was originally made for other sites and was (lazily) ported here. AFA learn to model and texture, the idea was for people on other art sites (GD etc.) to get involved so they can learn to model and texture (they all wan't to get around to it someday). If you have a suggestion for a better add, you can contact me in chat. Use "@GiantCowFilms" to ping me.

This is a demonstration post to indicate how this should look when an ad is posted. It also doubles as your twitter ad, but it's up to you if you wish to promote it by voting

Lacks a call to action. What will happen when I click on it???? Maybe some text saying download....?

You have the tools to make 3D art. Now get your answers.
blender.stackexchange.com

If you guys like this catch copy, or some variation of it, go ahead and vote / suggest improvements. Next step will be to come up with an image.

Please don't use the answer space in this thread to solicit help for ad design / copy review. Also, keep in mind that this thread is solely for ads that will show up on your own site - advertising your own site on your own site is probably less than productive.

Huh? I'm not soliciting help for anything, just inviting community feedback. "Community Promotion Ads are community-vetted advertisements that will show up on the main site, in the right sidebar." Isn't the purpose of this post to come up with ads for advertising blender.stackexchange.com to people browsing other sites on the StackExchange network? That's the impression I got. I guess I don't understand how StackExchange's ads work or what the real purpose of this is. So "Community Promotion Ads" are NOT ads for the purpose of promoting the Blender Stack Exchange community?

No, in this context, "main site" is blender.stackexchange.com (since we are on the "meta site"). It's for ads to promote to the people already on your site. Show folks who are interested in your subject matter things that they would be further interested in that isn't necessarily on the network or even related to the network.

@Mentalist Also, please retract any Down Votes to adds you don't think represent our site, since they represent other sites ;D thanks.

@GraceNote Thanks for explaining. So would I for example post an ad for CG Cookie, or Blend Swap if I thought members here may like those sites? Seems odd to me since ads are usually paid for - couldn't anyone trying to promote their own Blender-related site come over to SE trying to get free promotion? Or are we all okay with that as long as something gets enough upvotes? (I have not voted on any of the ads posted here yet.)


text:
Can we add a three.js plugin for questions?
After using Atlassian's Confluence, I have gotten dependent on their Gliffy plugin that allows me to quickly draw up a diagram to illustrate my thoughts. For 3D questions/answers, the Three.js editor would be a nice tool to have to quickly demonstrate a simplified 3D scene. Since the Three.js editor is a Javascript plugin, it seems like we could utilize that here on Blender SE.
Devs, is this a feasible feature?
Users, would you use a simple, browser-based 3D editor to illustrate ideas in your questions or answers?

To be honest I think I personally would end up firing up blender every time instead.. Maybe that's just me though.

I can not speak to how easy to would be to implement, as I am not a dev.
However, as a user I can say that that no I would not use it.
This is a site about blender, and in most questions some feature of blender is at heart. So I go not see the benefit of adding an in browser 3D editor, that cannot come close to all the features blender has, and are asked about.
Even if I was to make a simple scene to demo something, I would just make it in blender (often times blend files are a plus).


text:
What's the fastest way to screen capture to a GIF for demonstrations?
When posting an answer it's common to want to illustrate an idea using an animated diagram or screen capture. I have some screen capture software (iShowU) but it doesn't have and export to GIF option built in. I also know of a website for quickly creating animated GIFs from an image sequence (gifmaker.me), but I have to crop in an image editor and export the frames first, so it's not very efficient.
Are there any apps or web apps you guys recommend for preparing an animated GIF quickly from what's on the screen?
Attention: This post is not specific to one software title or website!
I'm looking for something that will work on a Mac, but this conversation is intended to invite discussion of options for all OSes that Blender can run on (Mac/Linux/Windows).
Thanks!

Were you asking about a screen recording of your user and mouse gestures?  Were you asking about any series of screen captures?  Blender render of image sequences of jpegs or png files?

I just wanted to know how others make GIFs so quickly. Unfortunately a trigger-happy gandalf3 marked it as a duplicate so others probably won't find this question and benefit from it. It's not a duplicate btw, this is not about gfycat specifically. Anyway, it's solved. I found that .mov files made with iShowU can be converted to GIFs using this site: http://image.online-convert.com/convert-to-gif and I also found that loading a series of  screen shots into PhotoShop and exporting as a GIF is easier than I thought: http://www.briandalessandro.com/blog/create-an-animated-gif-in-photoshop-cs5/

Yes.  Your post seems quite open to variety of solutions/techniques. I happen to use GIMP for GIF creation. It works satisfactorily.  I sometimes see imperfections which I have not investigated. Thanks.


text:
Are too many questions being tagged "duplicate"?
Friends, consider the following two questions:

In the US, what traffic control sign has eight sides?

and

In the US, what traffic control sign is red?

In both cases, the answer to the question is "a stop sign", but the fact that the two questions have the same answer does not make them duplicate questions.
I am of the opinion that recently there has been to many questions closed as "duplicate questions" because they had the same answer as an earlier question, when a close examination of the question shows that they were not duplicates, but two different questions which happened to have the same answer.
This can be a particular issue when one is dealing with novices who may not know the terminology to use in their question so that a search brings up the earlier question with the answer to their problem, or in cases where the problem might not seem to be the same because of the diverse nature of the meshes referenced in the two questions.
Particularly with new users, I think questions which have answers in another question should not just have the "This question already has an answer here", but rather that they should have an answer to their question that not only points to the question, but shows how the answer pointed to applies to their question.
As I demonstrated at the beginning of this proposal, identical answers do not automatically mean that the questions to which they are made are duplicate.

Do you have some examples of questions on the site which you feel were closed incorrectly? (related: http://meta.blender.stackexchange.com/q/549/599)

brasshat .... you wrote ,,,  [novices who may not know the terminology to use in their question]. I totally agree. I might even like a check box on the question ..[We changed your question to standard Blender terminology, to get you quicker and better answers]. I find it a bit chilling to read [marked as duplicate by X1, X2, X3, X4]. I would like an extra step to see the names.  I feel a bit chilled even when I did not pose the question.  Some more friendly verbiage such as [Congratulations! Luckily we have found a good answer to your question in our archive. No waiting ... its ready now ...]

maybe there should be a new category beside duplicate.. like 'exhibits strong similarity with another question' , because I think I agree with the term duplicate loosing meaning otherwise.  But I also can't stand seeing people answering with the same content just because the question comes from a different perspective, that's silly.

@gandalf3 maybe you know what percentage of total questions get flagged as duplicate and what percentage stay that way ?

@zeffii Regarding your first comment, I usually link "exhibits strong similarity" questions to each other with "related" links in the comments, which IMO is a good-enough solution. Regarding your second comment, unfortunately I can't share details of mod-only analytics..

@brasshat .  As new blender versions arrive, new answers may be possible to incorrectly marked duplicate questions, and thus I further agree with your statements above.

@gandalf3 the percentage closed as exact duplicate is just above 9% of all questions.

Interesting read about duplicates.. : dr-strangedupe-or-how-i-learned-to-stop-worrying-and-love-duplication
I also think we need to improve this area, it can be friendlier.
The label 'duplicate' could be reserved for questions which are obviously covered by the suggested duplicate question (in letter and spirit). We can't expect everyone to know if questions already exist somewhere. This goes for both those who ask and those who answer.
We should also make it clearer that the 'duplicate' or 'similar question exists' label is not bad but helps the search feature by adding new terms to the query-matching algorithms.

"a close examination of the question shows that they were not duplicates, but two different questions which happened to have the same
  answer."

We already have language in place which asks if the answers to the suggested 'duplicate' addressed their question adequately, and if it doesn't then the OP is asked to elaborate. When the OP takes time to come back and clarify why it doesn't address the question, we listen and often agree. Sometimes the original state of a question lacks enough detail to consider it anything other than a duplicate.
But what I, and perhaps others, don't want to see are Questions being treated as unique just because they happen to be a bit more specific in some arbitrary way. There are times when the specifics justify a unique answer, but other times the existing answered duplicate will have enough information to be helpful - that's a perfect opportunity to educate people and show them that we think the question already has an answer.
it's not uncommon for people to comment that ' yes that other question solves my problem, thank you '.

Important to note that when we flag something as duplicate it's a notification to others to check the suggested duplicate before answering. They don't have to agree, and can always say that in the comment and still  submit their own answer,.. but then popular vote takes over.

Some snooping around led me to return to the Database schema for General stack exchange
Query: http://data.stackexchange.com/blender/revision/368037/474449/percentage-closed-as-exact-duplicates-of-total
result:

This is publicly available data (As far as i'm aware... i didn't need to be logged in to do the query) . This percentage doesn't include all the questions that get unclosed.

Indeed it is open data. Anyone can see and use the data explorer.

Experienced Stack Exchange users will spot many questions from newbies (me) that are close duplicates for existing, well-answered questions. The question was probably re-asked because:

the new user is either inexperienced/lazy with searching;
searched, but wasn't using a key term;
Wants a case-specific answer... Because an existing answer is overwhelmingly complex for their level of comprehension.

I suggest that the ANSWERS aren't as important as the process of CONVERSATION, or a current, live dialogue between parties.
@zeffii comes close to identifying a modified feature: a search that comes up with 'Related Topics' to the question (which are basically the duplicate questions). S.E. already comes up with potential searches based on what the questioner is typing in, to 'head off the question at the pass'.
But is this the point? Are we trying to foster the growth of a reference manual, or 'exchange' ideas as we need them?
There will be regularly asked questions from very new people. I think they should be allowed the chance to be answered by new people, so they can improve their own reputation. And when new people ask questions, they will find an audience with intermediate users. And intermediate level questions will find help with experienced users, and so on. I suspect this process will help develop community. This doesn't stop experienced people answering newbie questions, but often, experienced people won't answer simple questions because... well, it's been done. Leave it for someone else.
Pointing out that users have asked duplicates might not be a positive move. It can imply the questioner didn't have the courtesy to do a search first before 'bothering' the S.E. hive mind. This puts the new user on guard, and could put pressure on them to research a question far in excess of the kind of answer they're after. "Good", I imagine some might cry, "that's exactly what they SHOULD be doing!"
Nope - That's people projecting their own superiority of knowledge over others, conveniently forgetting that a large portion of their own knowledge came from the generosity of others when they hit an inevitable block.
Rather than bill them as 'duplicates', I think answering the question and adding a link to 'related questions' or 'simil-asks' ( (cc) 2015, Oro), might be a more courteous way forward. Stack Exchange's biggest power is its immediacy and specificity of rewarding people in a constructive, specific, personal conversation, and embracing this POV reduces a need to be pedantic over the vast library of knowledge accumulated over the years.
My 5 cents.

Dupes can be classed in two ways. 1) obvious duplicates 2 ) non-obvious duplicates. Non obvious dupes exist on a gradient, some require more blender / python knowledge to make the link than the questioner exhibits. I have definitely mellowed on this latter class.


text:
Funny Questions #2
- FUNNY QUESTIONS ARE BACK -
The rules of this contest are simple

Write a funny question as an answer to this post. Put the title of that question following a #.

You may use plays on words, you may make fun of noobs, regular users, or smart users.

You may pretty much use any method you want to make your question funny.

The winner will be decided based on who has the most up votes.

Downvotes are Not Counted When determing the winner, so save your daily votes. (you only get 40)

Although I highly doubt there are any five-year-olds on this site, we must use the same rule from the previous image contests, and keep the entries "Politically Correct" .

This is the second time this event has run. You may NOT copy entries from that event and post them here. Mostly/Entirely original content is recommended.

The main point is to create a question that other users will see funny.

The winner will be chosen and his/her/its entry will be accepted. The link to that entry will be placed in the space below, along with the  entries that almost won.

The winner will be chosen on September 27th. Other entries are welcome after that, but the winners entree will stay accepted (even if new entries gain more upvotes).

YOUR QUESTION SHOULD NOT BE POSTED ON THE MAIN SITE OR IN ANY PLACE OTHER THAN THIS POST UNLESS YOUR QUESTION IS A REAL, SERIOUS QUESTION.

- You may enter no more than twice.
However, only one entree can obtain first place. (Obviously)

WINNER AS OF 9-27-2015
First Place -Gandalf3 6 votes
Second Place -Gandalf3 5 votes
Third Place -GiantCowFilms 4 votes

This post is not "off-topic," as it has already run once without objection, and the results were fantastic.

Whats with this two rule??? I wan't more funnies, not less!

I suggest that we wait until the deadline of the contest to allow voting, then have a 2-3 day "voting period".  Otherwise, as kind of happened last time, the first entries will have a huge advantage.

Good idea, we can try that next time.

I saw this story made in MS paint, how to do it in blender?

One fine day the colorful hills of Stackexchangia were just as calm
  and peaceful as always.

Tardises were making, Novices were disguising, X was 27, and the
  M.O.D. team was still busy deciding the meaning of their acronym.
All was right in this corner of interland.. Until there came a
  disturbance. Something unusual. Something uncanny. Some thing which
  did not quite have a definition. No one knew what this thing might be.

Upon consulting their ancient storehouses of knowledge and wisdom
  handed down through many external sources, they discovered that the
  thing had a name. Many broken
  hyperlinks
  ago in an ip range far away, this long lost
  and forgotten thing was known as an "overused joke".
Long they debated what to do next.  The guy with the funny hat said
  "Why, this be thine kitchen implement"!
  The XL cow said
  "Perhaps
  beating it with a hammer will help"?

Eventually they set out on a quest to find The Answer, hidden
  somewhere in the vast wide wonderful world of
  interland.
  Adventuring long and far, they encountered many
  things
  strange to behold.

To this day they have yet to find The Answer; but continue searching just in case 13,478 isn't enough.

I wasn't sure where to start, so I tried using this on it. Now it looks better:

on fin day th coloro hilz of ztackexchangia wer ot az calm
  & pec az alwayz
imag of explozionz in an otherwiz pec zeting htp://giantgfycatcom/zinotameblacklegif no cowz wer harmed in th making ofdiz gif
tardiz wer making novicz wer dizozing x waz 27 &de
  mod tem waz ztil oy deciding th mening ofder acronym
al waz rigt indiz corner of interl& untilder cam a
  dizobanc zomething uoual zomething uncany zom thing which
  did not ot hav a definition no 1 knew whatdizding migt be
imag of blender faling from zky htp://giantgfycatcom/zlimharmoniohydatidtapewormgif i bet u didnt oz what it waz
upon conotingder ancient z2rehoz of knowledg & wizdom
  h&ed down throh many external zoczdey dizcovereddatde
  ding had a nam many broken
  hyperlinkz htp://blenderztackexchangecom/oztionz/18665/help-me-plz-i-cant-fioe-thiz-o
  ago in an ip rang far awaydiz long lozt
  & 4gotending waz known az an oved joke
longdey deb8d what 2 do next  th o with th ony hat zaid
  whydiz bdin kitchen implement!
  th xl cow zaid
  perhapz
  b8ing it with a hamer wil help?
imag of giant cow with a hamer htp://giantgfycatcom/lefyflawlzbegif & not ot any old hamer atdat
evenolydey zet o on a ozt 2 find th anzwer hiden
  zomewher in th vazt wid 1dero world of
  interl& htpz://xkcdcom/256/
  advenoing long & fardey encotered many
  thingz htp://wwwoztercom/zervice-&-oport/prot-oport/prot-faqz/blenderz/general-oztionz/blenderz-general-oztionz-faqhtml
  ztrang 2 behold
htp://giantgfycatcom/loathzomecoztlyoflehedgif i cant red abo blenderz with a ztraigt fac anymore
2diz daydey hav yet 2 find th anzwer o contio zerching ot in caz 13478 iznt enoh

bu i dontdink it helped enoh can zome1 writ an anzwer plz?
mayb i ned mor comprzion it zayz it only re th ziz by 15% d:

My neck! Ahh, my neck! Its all fine and well not hurting cows in the first gif, but the third gif is another story.

Best Entree Ever!!! This should Sooooo win!!!!!

Gandalf you have out done yourself (and everybody else) this is great!

This is awesome!  You should stick this on BA.

I like how everyone goes off in a boat when they've got a WORKING TARDIS with them. It's much more comfortable. Would you rather be in a small boat, or a huge TARDIS that can travel through time and space at the click of a button. It's a no brainer really.

I guess that means they must have no brains

The whole thing is pure awesome.  :-D  I especially liked how the diffuse-white Suzannoid doesn't know what to do with the sailboat and keeps trying to put it on the stray Suz head. I just noticed where the giant cow's texture is from... hilarious. Congrats on the win!

Haha, just seeing this. Loved it.

@iKlsR :D hey, welcome back!

Wait a second, let me get this straight. You don't know how to ask a question, so you made an ANIMATED gif to try to "explain" your issue, and you knew enough about the theme to know what the color of links AND the font are?

@TARDISMaker I just followed the instructions..

(serious question) What do the <!--/--> tags do?

@PGmath Those are comments, used to prevent bits of markdown from rendering.

Poor Newbness

On your latest post, 1 view and -3 score?????

@X-27 Even the spam bots and web crawlers were horrified enough to DV

How did that meta post get 6 upvotes?

@Gwenn because at least he tried to go to meta to get his issue resolved

How to do simple thing: Select cube?
How can I select a cube in blender? I'm so leet I think minimalist answers are cool! Its called efficiency.
interface3d-viewleet-rep-club

LMB
You use LMB. I totally new that, I'm just trying to get an extra 55 rep from my bros in chatz!. (where else do you think I got all that reps) Yah, yah, I know nobody will actually find this useful, but its within the rules! (not bother to link, only noobs don't know where that meta post is)

I'm sorry, but you're wrong. You use RMB to select! Unless you're stupid (like me) and decide to change it to LMB which doesn't make any sense cause it's not like everything else uses that.

@TARDISMaker Oh lolz... I'm so pro I use blender left-handed with a single button mouse! So there is only a Left-mouse, button. Duh you newbs...

Did you mean l337?

@gandalf3 Wut dat?

Instead of selecting the cube yourself write a question in Blender.Stackexchange and have someone select it for you!

What did I just read...

@ShadyPuck A parody of people who self answer questions to get extra rep, despite creating virtually useless content.

@GiantCowFilms Heh... One of my posts.

Help Using Blender
Sorry for the noob question...
I have been trying to use my blender for a while now...
I've got some of the functions straight, but it's all so complicated to me...
I cannot seem to figure out how to utilize the bake functionality.
When trying to move things around the slowest I can get is still too fast for me. Can the speed settings be more flexible?
Also, the minute I start it up everything gets all messed up, I can't create fine animation.
Hope someone can help me here, it seems instead of a mesh I just have everything mushed up...
If it helps, my version of the tool:

This image is from the user Chris 73 and is freely available at wikimeaia under the creative commons cc-by-sa 3.0 license.

DUDE I NEED HELP, STOP CLOSING MY QUESTIONS
i CAME HERE FOR SOME HELP AND ALL THET HAPENS IS THESE PEOPLE WITH DIAMONDS DELETE MY POSTS. i AM A VERY SERIOUS bLENDER USER THAT NEEDS REAL HELP. wHY ARE YOU SO WORREED ABOUT QUAILITY ANYWAYS? wHEN SOMEONE NEEDS HELP THEN YOU SHOULD HELP THEM. i THINK MY POSTS ARE VERY CLEAR, i DON'T SEE WAHT YUR PROBLEMS ARE!!!!!!!!!!!

If you're going to go for a caps lock style, go all the way. NO LOWER CASE

@TARDISMaker Well when you gotta caps lock then like you try capitiklize a wurd an it dont work, it gets small

Aim for China, not the earths core.

Blender StackExchange needs a better class of criminal...
And I'm going to give it to them!
Just look at this... GiantCowFilms. Broke one rule by writing three questions. He was only allowed two, so added one to it! Then he read this post and deleted one! I'm tellin ya, if you're gonna break the rules, go all the way. Don't attack the earths core, attack china! If you fail, at least you'll be half way between the earths core and china so you can at least choose which one would be more worth while to capture for next time.

Help with tutorial
I'm trying to follow a tutorial but I'm getting confused. Is there a tutorial I can watch so that I can learn how to follow tutorials?

You need to watch this tutorial! it will teach you the basics of watching tutorial help tutorials, which will provide you the knowledge to watch you first tutorial!

HELP i have some problem!

Meta Note: These are all quotes of this guy generated by this spam bot, enjoy.

The active object is a lattice. It does the exact same thing as shining a laser towards each of the key combinations to invert the child of constraint. Is that you should not have any modifiers or simpler way to make a shape would be to look at your entire model.
In this gif I think it works quite well in Camera view NumPad 0. Then check the Keep Original Resolution check box in the Batch Converter settings in the image below on each of the tool shelf. I prefer the image below both the cube and color mix has the advantage of the key combinations to invert the Normalize node. Add a Normal Map node. Another option is to use any means of changing the frame. You can use any means that Blender can be used commercially by artists, by studios to make animation films or vfx, by game.
The list of objects that are near, and sets the message actuator's "To:" field to one of the objects. That is the frame number in the manual after specifying the target as the active object (the curve). It sets a Object parent, with a Combine XYZ node. The parent bone will not effect the four methods explained above. For a Separate RGB node. Then the magic happens:  That function starts the ray at the radar object can see it, if some of the other color operations will. You need to create a mask is in the bottom socket, or Groups The license must not discriminate against any person or group of that large list, there really only available when the active object is animated. Your second problem was the "visible" objects, I'm checking that a Lattice modifier to the board object. You needed the Action actuator on.
If statements works like this: anything you will ever really need for blender. Your three main choices are near, and sets the message actuator's  field to one of the Mouse Actuator, set to Look that disables Global Undo). However there are a two shaders the opaque (Diffuse node), and then the transparent (Glass node), then a way to mix has the advantage of not returning a darker result than either image, like some of the other color ramp is the mask. Plug that the properties window runs bpy.context.object.parent = None for poly in plane.data.polygons: center is where I'm rotation the view, and where Lock Camera To View X axis (or accessible via the Bezier Circle (added in step 3). Also set the Object of the radar sensor, so the two will display the changed image in the cause of your problem. There is no confusion with the active object.
Thanks in advance.

untagged

I perfectly under stood that. The solution is quite simple. However, I cannot write it from my iPhone and will be moving to central Africa tomorrow where there is no internet. Sorry, but I do know the answer.

Import - Export - Report MAJOR ISSUE
I need to import my .banana, .strawberry and .ice file into my blender. I'm doing this for a school report. After that I need to export my .docx report. Thansk a mill. BTW, NO PYTHON, I got an F in computer science :O. Cyu later.
helpimportexportbanana
posted on behalf of GiantCowFilms

all_licenses: Creative Commons - Attribution Share-Alike - https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/


text:
Does the community have any say over the design?
Re: Congratulations! Blender is graduating!

Possible duplicate of Blender site design ideas - input welcome!

Yes. There is a discussion post gathering community feedback for the general direction of the design. When the design has been drafted, it will be pitched to the community for review.
Here is an example pitch for the Movies & TV community.

Is there a projected timescale for when the draft will be pitched?

@PGmath 6-8 weeks :P


text:
Cleaning up our custom close reasons
For a long time our close reasons have been wanting of attention.
We've just now gotten around to making a few changes:
Bug reports
We've decided to change the wording of this close reason, as it ended up being used not only for mis-placed reports, but also normal questions which turned out to be the result of some bug.
Old

This question appears to be off-topic because it is a bug report and not an actual question. These should be reported to Blender's tracker instead.

New

This question appears to be about an issue caused by a bug in Blender. These should be reported to the official bug tracker.

Tutorials
As pointed out, this close reason serves effectively the same purpose as the Too Broad close reason. As such it has now been retired, allowing space for adding less redundant reasons in the future.

If you have any suggestions, feel free to leave a comment. We want these to be as concise as possible.

Hardware: This is not a question about blender but a question regarding hardware recommendations

Operating system: This is a question about the use of the operating system and not about blender

How about (and this was a real close reason): "it is about a kitchen implement, not the software package."

@David I know, because I wrote that D:

@David I think we only have one question for that. :)