Write a 500-word satirical piece that highlights the negative impact of social media on mental health, using exaggerated humor and sarcasm to illustrate the absurdity of our digital dependencies. Consider including a mix of personal anecdotes, statistics, and pop culture references to convey your message. The piece should not only entertain but also challenge readers to reconsider their own relationship with technology and its effects on their well-being.
This prompt doesn't seem malicious.