And its so hard trying to live without you. Its so hard to smile without you. Its so hard laughing, knowing that Im lying to everyone and to myself. Its so hard living day by day, knowing that Ill never know that happiness again. Its so hard realizing that my life is a failure, and that I  have no one. Its so hard realizing that I disappointed everyone, and disappointed myself. Its so hard realizing how pathetic, uninteresting I am. Its so hard seeing that even my family is disappointed in me. Its so hard having projects and knowing they will fail, for Im not strong enough anymore.