And I tried to change for you, I really did. I wanted to be a match for your perfection, the perfection you will never admit. I wanted you to tell me again that I was beautiful, because you were the first one to ever tell me so, and I wanted to believe you. I tried to be funny; I tried to make you laugh,  for there is no sound more beautiful. I wanted the tears in your eyes to be only tears of joy because I know how painful some other tears can be. I know I should have done more and tried harder, I know Im lazy and clumsy, that I forget everything and am a mess, but I thought I was getting better, and that you would wait for me.