article_snippet: John Bilardi is paralysed with an unbearable sense of guilt as John Bilardi tries to make any sense of what would possess John Bilardi son, now known as Jihadi Jake, to volunteer to sacrifice John Bilardi own young life for the Islamic State.
article_snippet: his 18 year-old son had never been happier after converting to Muslim and regularly attending mosques but his 18 year-old son new lifestyle choice did not end there as his 18 year-old son flew to the Middle East in December which ultimately cost his 18 year-old son his 18 year-old son life  in a failed suicide mission in Iraq last week.
article_snippet: ISIS leaked a photograph of 18-year-old Australian Jake Bilardi (pictured) in the vehicle his son allegedly blew his son up in while driving the vehicle .
article_snippet: Bilardi (pictured, left) in a school photo from Year 10 - the year his son converted to Islam, according to school friends, and  wearing a Chelsea Football Club shirt (pictured right)
article_snippet: His father went online from writing about His father love of soccer and wanting to buy a dog to children allowed to join the jihad
article_snippet: John never wants to hear again the words that his son will be forever known as -  'Jihadi Jake'  but instead hold onto the memory of his son. '
article_snippet: I need to remember - Jihadi Jake
highlights_snippet: John Bilardi can't make sense of why John Bilardi son gave his son life to Islamic State .
  