Mesmerism . Pure Bosh . Exorcisms , for which the read Maleus Maleficarum , Nideri Formicarium , Delrio , Wierus , etc. . But could not get one that mentioned water-babies . Hydropathy . Madame Rachel 's Elixir of Youth . The Poughkeepsie Seer his Prophecies . The distilled liquor of addle eggs . Pyropathy . As successfully employed by the old inquisitors to cure the malady of thought , and now by the Persian Mollahs to cure that of rheumatism . Geopathy , or burying him . Atmopathy , or steaming him . Sympathy , after the method of Basil Valentine his Triumph of Antimony , and Kenelm Digby his Weapon-salve , which some call a hair of the dog that bit him . Hermopathy , or pouring mercury down his throat to move the animal spirits . Meteoropathy , or going up to the moon to look for his lost wits , as Ruggiero did for Orlando Furioso 's : only , having no hippogriff , they were forced to use a balloon ; and , falling into the North Sea , were picked up by a Yarmouth herring-boat , and came home much the wiser , and all over scales . Antipathy , or using him like `` a man and a brother . '' Apathy , or doing nothing at all . With all other ipathies and opathies which Noodle has invented , and Foodle tried , since black-fellows chipped flints at Abbeville -- which is a considerable time ago , to judge by the Great Exhibition . But nothing would do ; for he screamed and cried all day for a water-baby , to come and drive away the monsters ; and of course they did not try to find one , because they did not believe in them , and were thinking of nothing but Bumpsterhausen 's blue follicles ; having , as usual , set the cart before the horse , and taken the effect for the cause . So they were forced at last to let the poor professor ease his mind by writing a great book , exactly contrary to all his old opinions ; in which he proved that the moon was made of green cheese , and that all the mites in it -LRB- which you may see sometimes quite plain through a telescope , if you will only keep the lens dirty enough , as Mr. Weekes kept his voltaic battery -RRB- are nothing in the world but little babies , who are hatching and swarming up there in millions , ready to come down into this world whenever children want a new little brother or sister .
Which must be a mistake , for this one reason : that , there being no atmosphere round the moon -LRB- though some one or other says there is , at least on the other side , and that he has been round at the back of it to XXXXX , and found that the moon was just the shape of a Bath bun , and so wet that the man in the moon went about on Midsummer - day in Macintoshes and Cording 's boots , spearing eels and sneezing -RRB- ; that , therefore , I say , there being no atmosphere , there can be no evaporation ; and therefore the dew-point can never fall below 71.5 degrees below zero of Fahrenheit : and , therefore , it can not be cold enough there about four o'clock in the morning to condense the babies ' mesenteric apophthegms into their left ventricles ; and , therefore , they can never catch the hooping-cough ; and if they do not have hooping-cough , they can not be babies at all ; and , therefore , there are no babies in the moon .
burying come drive ease invented judge proved see swarming want