I 'll fiddle in the streets again before I 'll ask for help from them ! ' cried Nat , brushing away the tears of which he was ashamed , although he felt the good they had done . Now he seemed to see more clearly what to do ; for the helping hand had been stretched across the sea , and Love , the dear Evangelist , had lifted him out of the slough and shown him the narrow gate , beyond which deliverance lay . When the letter had been reread , and one corner where a daisy was painted , passionately kissed , Nat felt strong enough to face the worst and conquer it . Every bill should be paid , every salable thing of his own sold , these costly rooms given up ; and once back with thrifty Frau Tetzel , he would find work of some sort by which to support himself , as many another student did . He must give up the new friends , turn his back on the gay life , cease to be a butterfly , and take his place among the grubs . It was the only honest thing to do , but very hard for the poor fellow to crush his little vanities , renounce the delights so dear to the young , own his folly , and step down from his pedestal to be pitied , laughed at , and forgotten . It took all Nat 's pride and courage to do this , for his was a sensitive nature ; esteem was very precious to him , failure very bitter , and nothing but the inborn contempt for meanness and deceit kept him from asking help or trying to hide his need by some dishonest device . As he sat alone that night , Mr Bhaer 's words came back to him with curious clearness , and he saw himself a boy again at Plumfield , punishing his teacher as a lesson to himself , when timidity had made him lie . ` He shall not suffer for me again , and I wo n't be a sneak if I am a fool . I 'll go and tell Professor Baumgarten all about it and ask his advice . I 'd rather face a loaded cannon ; but it must be done . Then I 'll sell out , pay my debts , and go back where I belong . Better be an honest pauper than a jackdaw among peacocks ' ; and Nat smiled in the midst of his trouble , as he looked about him at the little elegancies of his room , remembering what he came from . He kept his word manfully , and was much comforted to find that his experience was an old story to the professor , who approved his plan , thinking wisely that the discipline would be good for him , and was very kind in offering help and promising to keep the secret of his folly from his friend Bhaer till Nat had redeemed himself . The first week of the new year was spent by our prodigal in carrying out his plan with penitent dispatch , and his birthday found him alone in the little room high up at Frau Tetzel 's , with nothing of his former splendour , but sundry unsalable keepsakes from the buxom maidens , who mourned his absence deeply . His male friends had ridiculed , pitied , and soon left him alone , with one or two exceptions , who offered their purses generously and promised to stand by him . He was lonely and heavy-hearted , and sat brooding over his small fire as he remembered the last New Year 's Day at Plumfield , when at this hour he was dancing with his Daisy . A tap at the door roused him , and with a careless ` Herein ' , he waited to see who had climbed so far for his sake . It was the good Frau proudly bearing a tray , on which stood a bottle of wine and an astonishing cake bedecked with sugar-plums of every hue , and crowned with candles .
Fraulein Vogelstein followed , embracing a blooming rose-tree , above which her grey curls waved and her friendly face beamed joyfully as she XXXXX : ` Dear Herr Blak , we bring you greetings and a little gift or two in honour of this ever-to-be-remembered day .
cried kept lie painted pay punishing remembering ridiculed step turn