Well , the way she looked and the way she spoke made me feel downright ashamed of myself because things had stopped mattering with me . But never mind all that . My miserable old feelings do n't count for much . What come of your father 's fiddle ? '' `` Grandfather took it away when I came here . I think he burned it . And I long for it so often . '' `` Well , you 've always got my old brown fiddle to come to when you must . '' `` Yes , I know . And I 'm glad for that . But I 'm hungry for a violin all the time . And I only come here when the hunger gets too much to bear . I feel as if I ought n't to come even then -- I 'm always saying I wo n't do it again , because I know grandfather would n't like it , if he knew . '' `` He has never forbidden it , has he ? '' `` No , but that is because he does n't know I come here for that . He never thinks of such a thing . I feel sure he WOULD forbid it , if he knew . And that makes me very wretched . And yet I HAVE to come . Mr. Blair , do you know why grandfather ca n't bear to have me play on the violin ?
He loves music , and he does n't XXXXX my playing on the organ , if I do n't neglect other things .
bear burned came count forbidden knew like mind play took