But as the first effect of her beauty passed away , Lillian found something peculiar about her . It was not the somewhat foreign dress and ornaments she wore ; it was in her face , her movements , and the tone of her voice , for as she walked she sang a low , monotonous song , as if unconsciously . Lillian watched her keenly , marking the aimless motions of the little hands , the apathy of the lovely face , and the mirthless accent of the voice ; but most of all the vacant fixture of the great dark eyes . Around and around she went , with an elastic step and a mechanical regularity wearisome to witness . What is the matter with her ? thought Lillian anxiously , as this painful impression increased with every scrutiny of the unconscious girl . So abashed was she that Hester 's call was unheard , and Hester was unseen as she came and stood beside her . Both looked a moment , and as they looked an old lady came from the house and led Helen in , still murmuring her monotonous song and moving her hands as if to catch and hold the sunshine . `` Poor dear , poor dear . No wonder Paul turns sad and wo n't talk of her , and that she do n't see anyone , '' sighed Hester pitifully . `` What is it ? I see , but do n't understand , '' whispered Lillian . `` She 's an innocent , deary , an idiot , though that 's a hard word for a pretty creature like her . '' `` How terrible ! Come away , Hester , and never breathe to anyone what we have seen . '' And with a shudder and sense of pain and pity lying heavy at her heart , she hurried away , feeling doubly guilty in the discovery of this affliction . The thought of it haunted her continually ; the memory of the lonely girl gave her no peace ; and a consciousness of deceit burdened her unspeakably , especially in Paul 's presence . This lasted for a week , then Lillian resolved to confess , hoping that when he found she knew the truth he would let her share his cross and help to lighten it . Waiting her opportunity , she seized a moment when her mother was absent , and with her usual frankness spoke out impetuously . `` Paul , I 've done wrong , and I can have no peace till I am pardoned .
I have XXXXX Helen . ''
Waiting feeling haunted lasted led murmuring sang seen went whispered