thought Meg , with a shiver . `` It 's worse than boots , it 's a silk dress , '' she said , with the calmness of desperation , for she wanted the worst over . `` Well , dear , what is the ` dem 'd total ' , as Mr. Mantalini says ? '' That did n't sound like John , and she knew he was looking up at her with the straightforward look that she had always been ready to meet and answer with one as frank till now . She turned the page and her head at the same time , pointing to the sum which would have been bad enough without the fifty , but which was appalling to her with that added . For a minute the room was very still , then John said slowly -- but she could feel it cost him an effort to express no displeasure -- ... `` Well , I do n't know that fifty is much for a dress , with all the furbelows and notions you have to have to finish it off these days . '' `` It is n't made or trimmed , '' sighed Meg , faintly , for a sudden recollection of the cost still to be incurred quite overwhelmed her . `` Twenty-five yards of silk seems a good deal to cover one small woman , but I 've no doubt my wife will look as fine as Ned Moffat 's when she gets it on , '' said John dryly . `` I know you are angry , John , but I ca n't help it . I do n't mean to waste your money , and I did n't think those little things would count up so . I ca n't resist them when I see Sallie buying all she wants , and pitying me because I do n't . I try to be contented , but it is hard , and I 'm tired of being poor . '' The last words were spoken so low she thought he did not hear them , but he did , and they wounded him deeply , for he had denied himself many pleasures for Meg 's sake . She could have bitten her tongue out the minute she had said it , for John pushed the books away and got up , saying with a little quiver in his voice , `` I was afraid of this . I do my best , Meg . '' If he had scolded her , or even shaken her , it would not have broken her heart like those few words . She ran to him and held him close , crying , with repentant tears , `` Oh , John , my dear , kind , hard-working boy . I did n't mean it ! It was so wicked , so untrue and ungrateful , how could I say it ! Oh , how could I say it ! ''
He was very kind , forgave her readily , and did not utter one reproach , but Meg XXXXX that she had done and said a thing which would not be forgotten soon , although he might never allude to it again .
've bitten gets knew looking mean says spoken thought total