When I saw her that night , I came to my right mind , and I 've been the most miserable man alive ever since . Not for her -- but because I 'd lost you . I ca n't bear to live here any longer , so I am going away . Will you say good-bye , Estella ? '' Still she did not speak . There were a hundred things she wanted to say but she could not say them . Did he mean that he loved her still ? If she were sure of that , she could forgive him anything , but her doubt rendered her mute . The young man turned away despairingly from her rigid attitude . So be it -- he had brought his fate on himself . He had gone but a few steps when Estella suddenly found her voice with a gasp . `` Spencer ! '' He came swiftly back . `` Oh , Spencer -- do -- you -- do you love me still ? '' He caught her hands in his . `` Love you -- oh , Estella , yes , yes ! I always have . That other was n't love -- it was just madness . When it passed I hated life because I 'd lost you . I know you ca n't forgive me , but , oh -- '' He broke down .
XXXXX flung her arms around his neck and put her face up to his .
Estella Love Spencer attitude doubt fate life mind night right