> be me
>scrolling /pol/ at 3 a.m., deep in conspiracy rabbit hole
>find thread claiming lizard people control McDonald’s
>remember weird guy at the register last week blinked sideways
>decide to investigate, wear trench coat for stealth
>order 20-piece McNuggets as cover story
>manager asks me to leave after I loudly whisper "I’m onto you"
>tfw no lizard truth, just cold nuggets