Kids triggering you is often a sign of your wounded self. Ask yourself what is your deepest fear and unmet needs that you need to pay attention to. 

Do these :
1⃣ Pause and Breathe: Give yourself a second to calm down. A deep breath can make all the difference. 
2⃣ Reframe Their Behavior: Instead of seeing defiance, try to see curiosity or a cry for connection.
3⃣ Check Your Triggers: Sometimes, it’s less about what they did and more about how you’re feeling—stressed, tired, or overwhelmed.
4⃣ Respond, Don’t React: Speak calmly and firmly, showing them how to handle big feelings without losing control.
5⃣ Tell yourself this is not as bad as your thoughts is telling you. You're a good parent