“You know, I’ve been studying Tateism, as of late. Not only do we both have height and broad shoulders, not only do wear loafers without socks, not only do we have a disgust of low status Muslim plebs and a deep admiration for the stunning governance of the Gulf monarchies, not only do we see political loyalty as ultimately a form of slavery to be put to use, not only do we secretly understand dictatorship is ultimately the only way…

…BUT I have also always — like you — believed depression isn’t real. I desperately wanted to say that to Alastair Campbell (@campbellclaret) who has made mental health his brand over the last decade or so. Alastair even allied himself with Jeremy Corbyn to open a new £82m mental health facility, stabbing me in the back. It’s good to know common sense is back in fashion. 

I am also all for bringing back the death penalty. I just could never say that because my own slaves — which I named “New Labour” — would have ousted me. 

Remember, the sovereign is the one who decides the exception. Ha-ha-ha, Schmitt never left me since my university days. 

By the way, Trump really humiliated Sadiq Khan. I’ve seen you so the same in some of your tweets. I guess that happens when you don’t have our height and broad shoulders. 

But yes. You have my good wishes. Oh, and, the Ruler of the UAE MbZ and the King of KSA MbS both respectively called me before this meeting to tell me to convey to you that you have their full support in passing the Britannia Mosque Act which will prevent old churches from being converted to mosques, will put a cap on mosques at one per city, and require all mosques in the UK to follow British aesthetic sensibilities.”

@votebruv 
@Cobratate 
#TateForPM