It’s thirty three years since we lost my friend and brother Keith Levine. The anniversary of his death always hits me hard but it also makes me think of the good times and how blessed I was to have him and my other friends from that time in my life. This post is originally from 2018…

Seems like I’m always posting about a friend or someone close to me who has passed away. I hate to say it but I’m kinda getting used to the people I love dying. The older we get obviously more and more loved ones get taken from us and of course it hurts every time but I’m starting to think that each time it happens your heart gets a little harder to break.
Its like there’s scar tissue that builds up from all the hurts and losses that protects you. You kinda go dead inside. Numb. Thats how I feel sometimes...but not today...today is the anniversary of the first friend i ever lost. Before my heart had the chance to build up much scar tissue.
 On December 28 1991, I was with my best friend Keith when he was shot and killed as he tried to stop an armed robber. No matter how dead or numb I feel inside, December 28th breaks my heart every year. Every year.
It’s a cliche to say but Keith was my brother from another mother (love you Liana)...we had so many great times just being young and crazy...it was always him, me and our friend Mark...chasing girls, going to clubs, waking up in strange places...Keith was a sergeant in the NYPD...the youngest sergeant ever I think...he also had a band...and he wanted to be an actor...Keith was real good looking and all the girls loved him...that was his biggest fault as far as me and Mark were concerned...he was too damn good looking...but he was also just a goofy, awkward guy like me and we all had a blast being friends...we were pretty much inseparable. 
Not too long before he died I was out in California making my third record for Elektra that was never released. Keith and Mark came out to LA to visit and man the three of us had a ball. Keith even sang background vocals on my record and we all got to go to the MTV awards...and I’m pretty sure we got drunk with the cast of Head Of Your Class! 
Yup...we were all living the dream. Young and invincible.
A few weeks later we were all at my place back in NJ, sitting around late into the night drinking beers in the kitchen talking about how we wanted our lives to turn out...I was still holding onto the rock star lottery ticket that didn’t look like it was gonna pay out...yeah good luck with that...Mark was a successful builder and was doing better than all of us...Keith was taking acting lessons and had just gotten a desk job with the police department where he didn’t have to be on the streets...he said he was pretty sure he was going to get a part on a soap opera and marry this girl who he was head over heels in love with...they were broken up but he was going to win her back.
I’ll never forget how the three of us talked all night about the future and how great our lives were going to be.
But I guess God had other plans...a few days later Keith was gone...
I don’t need to go into the details...I hate the details...but Keith died a hero...he never got the part on the soap opera and he never won his girl back but there were over 5000 police officers at his funeral...he was on every TV channel and in every newspaper...he would’ve loved that part...Keith wanted to be famous and for a couple of days he was everywhere.
The night Keith died fucked me up for a long time. I’m still fucked up because of it. Not sure I ever won’t be.
I’m not really sure what I’m trying say.
Nothing I write is going to be enough.
I guess I just miss my brother Keith.
And I miss my other friends.
And I miss my mom and dad. 
The scar tissue isn’t working.
December 28th breaks my heart every year. 
Miss you brother...luv je

In memory of Sgt. Keith Levine