Kevin O’Leary, the self-proclaimed financial guru, has officially lost the plot with this half-baked manifesto of economic and political stupidity. Let’s obliterate this nonsense point by point.

First off, the “longest border on Earth with $1.3 trillion in trade” argument is a non-starter for erasing Canada’s sovereignty. Yes, Canada and the U.S. share an economically significant relationship, but guess what? That’s because we’re two different countries with distinct economies. Alberta’s $188 billion energy exports aren’t some freebie handed over to Uncle Sam—they’re part of carefully negotiated agreements. O’Leary conveniently ignores how those trade agreements are designed to protect Canadian industries. A “common currency” would throw Canada’s economic autonomy into the trash, making us slaves to the whims of the U.S. Federal Reserve.

Second, the common currency argument is financial colonialism dressed up as efficiency. Canada’s wealth in natural resources—gold, oil, gas, fresh water—needs protection, not integration into a system where Washington dictates monetary policy. Every Canadian doesn’t “have an American dollar account,” Kevin. What Canadians actually have is pride in a strong, independent economy. Pegging everything to the U.S. dollar would force us to dance to America’s economic tune, and let’s be real—they’d crush us underfoot the second it suited them.

Third, the idea of “eradicate all tariffs” sounds great until you realize it’s a Trojan horse for gutting Canadian industries. You want to ship California wine to B.C.? Cool. But let’s talk about how this “no tariffs” dream would annihilate local industries that can’t compete with massive American production subsidies. Kevin’s “productivity through the moon” claim is garbage—this would obliterate small businesses, family farms, and local wineries in favor of American corporate monopolies.

And let’s not forget the cherry on top: the UNI passport. What kind of libertarian fever dream is this? You want Canadians and Americans to move freely, pay one tax rate, and call it a day? That’s a surefire way to erase the cultural, political, and social identity of Canada. “Control immigration”? Kevin, this isn’t about helping students get into MIT—this is about selling out Canadian citizenship and turning the country into a satellite state for U.S. interests.

Let’s call this for what it is: corporate globalization masquerading as unity. O’Leary’s plan isn’t about economic prosperity—it’s about dismantling Canada for a quick buck. Kevin, take this garbage back to your Shark Tank fantasy world, because in the real world, we’re not selling out Canada to satisfy your ego and your dollar signs.