I got stuck on a giant rock today. I wasn't bouldering or anything - just on a hike, saw a cool rock, wanted to climb it, then realized I couldn't get down.

Thankfully there were other rock climbers nearby who saved me. They threw up a helmet, put down some mats, and guided my way down.

I've never done any bouldering other than a couple times in a simple gym, so it was pretty terrifying. Had to face towards the nearly vertical rock so I couldn't see anything around me to know where to move next, it felt like there was nothing to secure my hands or feet on, and it seemed like one slip or leaning back too far and I'd fall down onto the rock below and crack my head if not for the helmet. These people saved my life.

It was very stupid of me to climb up there and I'm incredibly grateful to those who saved my life. That being said, as selfish as it sounds, I don't regret it. I did what I wanted to do despite it being scary, it was a calculated risk (I knew that there were tons of rock climbers around with extra mats who could probably help if I needed it.), and a lot of fun. I will never do anything like that again without proper training and a backup option, but I can't say I regret it.

My wife although relieved was understandably angry at me since she had told me not to climb up there. I had initially listened because my gut also told me it was probably a bad idea so I went back down. But then I felt like a loser for backing out and decided that I was going to climb up that rock no matter what anyone told me. She obviously could not understand why I would want to do that.

It's a common trope that men are excessive risk takers to the point of stupidity. Today I successfully lived up to that trope. (Later in the day another crazy thing happened where I got into trouble for having spoken up about something most reasonable people would never dare to speak about, but I did because I felt it was the right thing, but that's a story for another day)

Every good thing in my life has come from taking some risk. If I'm not taking any risks, life is boring. Maybe me climbing this rock was me compensating for feeling like my life had become too easy and that I wasn't living boldly enough?

Sometimes I wonder why I didn't just take the easy path - stick to the same major, work some nice stable job out of school and stay there for 5-10 years. Why was I so adamant in standing up for things and being outspoken about things I felt were unjust when it would've been significantly easier for me to just shut up and go with the flow? Why did I quit my first job to make electronic music without any plan for making money, why'd I travel the world for so long, why'd I pursue all those random things that I did?

Yesterday it all made more sense. We're all built different, and that's ok. Some people are naturally more predisposed to risk taking (not claiming that I am), and others less. Both energies are good for this world. Neither is right or wrong, just live authentically to yourself.

Anyways if there's a lesson here, climbing up is WAY easier than climbing down. Don't climb tall rocks that you aren't trained to climb when your intuition tells you it's a bad idea. Worst case make sure you've got a Plan B. But regardless of what anyone says, people will do what they feel they need to do, and that's ok as long as we accept the consequences.