“No, it’s NOT a failure"

"...Learn how to hear it calmly.”

This quote from Chris Voss’s book Never Split the Difference has radically shifted how I approach coaching my Gen Z clients.

Getting 'No' is actually a gift.

Here’s how I’ve adapted this wisdom during our 1-on-1 Career Clinic session :

1️⃣ NO IS CLARITY: 

“No” isn’t the end of the road. 

It clears the fog, helping my clients focus on what matters.

"No" redirects their energy toward better decisions and strategies.

2️⃣ ASK THE RIGHT QUESTIONS DIFFERENTLY

Instead of asking, “What do you want?” which often overwhelms them, my Gen Z clients find clarity faster when I ask, “What DON'T you want?” 

This subtle changes of asking helps them focus on boundaries and priorities.

Saying "I DON'T WANT A,B,C,etc.." breaking them free from the fear of missing out by saying “Yes” to everything.

3️⃣ FOCUS ON EMPATHY, NOT EGO

“No” is rarely about you. 

It’s often about circumstances or misalignment.

By understanding the perspective behind a “No,” my clients can pivot their approach and uncover opportunities.

This mindset shift has been extra useful in helping clients feel empowered rather than defeated. 

Sometimes, the most unexpected “No” leads to the most meaningful “Yes.”

And in the job-seeking process, we only need one "Yes" :)

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P.S. 

How do you navigate the power of “No” in your life?