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Title: WHERE HAV E YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE?!
Review: Forget Tolkien! Screw E.R. Eddison, Mervyn Peake, Edgar Rice Burroughs, and T.H. White! THIS unseemly work is the TRUE fantasy epic of our time! A cliché pastiche? Nah. Elves, Dwarves, mithril coats STOLEN from Tolkien? Oh poopoo. SCREW all those other writers who actually took the time to create their OWN creative artifice and hone their OWN literary talents! This horrid, lackadaisical tour-de-force is what people really want! Long live mediocrity! Long live Dumb&Dumb.
