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Title: The Longest Yawn
Review: The original "The Longest Yard" and the lame Adam Sandler remake are better than "Mean Machine". So is "Bend It Like Beckham" and "Kicking and Screaming". Vinnie Jones made an auspicious debut in a bit part as a debt collector in "Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels". Asked to shoulder the heft of a starring role Jones just doesn't have the acting heft. His co-stars in director Guy Ritchie's debut film(Jason Statham, Jason Flemyng, and Vas Blackwood)run circles around him in this vehicle. Truth be told soccer holds as much interest to me as grass growing. That said I'm not a hockey fan but I loved "Slapshot". Regardless, the most indelible thing on display here is David Hemings' pointy eyebrows. The European title for this film was "The Mean Machine". These kind of subtleties make a world of difference.
