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Title: Uranium: Good for nuclear weaponry, bad for attempts at superhero creation
Review: I bought this Uranium a couple of days ago, and it just came in the mail this morning. I went to the bathroom to try it out, and it turns out "apply directly to the affected area" is poor advice, as I was convinced it operated similar to Icy-Hot patches. Well, I don't get muscle cramps anymore, but I've started communicating with the household insects and apparently I'm the Avatar of their ancestral guardian spirit Tok'rahl Naktir. I would have given this a five-star, but the superhuman strength and speed turned out to be a product of brain cancer. Who woulda thought, am I right guys?
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