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Title: Do not buy if seal is broken
Review: Imagine my dismay when I, much like a wide-eyed little girl on Christmas Day, eagerly unscrewed the cap to my very first container of Uranium Ore only to discover...that it had millipedes crawling around in it. Hundreds of them. And they're all radioactive, so of course they're each about as big as my cat. And with TWICE the legs. No thanks to you, Uranium Ore Inc, I have to knit god knows how many millipede snow booties. I mean...I have to. They're my pets now. They'll probably vomit radioactive bile all over me if I don't appease them.Plus, as soon as I got this thing in the mail, the Libyans were all over me. And I gotta knit snow booties for THEM now.
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