Negative Positive
Title: Made me sorry to have the gift of sight.
Review: I had to read this for a book club, and a fifth of the way into it, I began to wish I were blind, so I wouldn't have to continue. I considered gouging my eyes out with a grapefruit spoon. And if someone tried to read aloud it to me, I was prepared to pour hot parrafin into my ears. And if Anne Sullivan tried to sign "Moll Flanders" into my hand, I would dig into my wrists and sever the nerves to my hand with a carpet knife. Then if someone tried to tap the text of this book onto my back using Morse Code, I would be left with no course of action other than suicide. As it was, I completed my book club obligation, and as soon as we're done discussing this, I'm going to bandsaw open my cranium, locate the part of the brain that remembers I read this book, and scoop it out with a melonballer. Wish me luck!
Is the review positive or negative? 