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Title: Pretentious and Wooden
Review: This is one of the worst movies I've ever seen. Rupert Everett is a perfect mannequin, standing around modeling his clothes in the WORST performance by any movie actor in history; Helen Mirren is totally wasted; she looks like she's barely paying attention. Richardson looks embarrassed, and Walken hams it up as his trademarked cliched "creepy guy", who's about as intriguing as a Chicken McNugget. He reminds me of the Euro seducer "The Continental" from SNL. Even the mood music is bad. The only mystery about this movie is why these horrible, stupid, and completely boring characters don't just pass out from ennui as they spout out their inane, stilted streams of dialogue. Really, this is a movie about ventriloquist dummies who get lost in the somewhat confusing streets of Venice. You will not care about these people; in fact you will need coffee to stay awake to the end.
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