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Title: A big, fat, horrendous, but very profitable mess.
Review: If it weren't for the big budget and A-list stars, this would be a prime candidate for "Mystery Science Theater 3000." The special effects may be great, but the editing is horrible; there are long stretches of this movie where I defy you to tell exactly what is happening to whom. The characters are pure, 100-percent cardboard, and their basic character traits change at the whim of the screenwriters and the necessity of the dull, by-the-numbers plot. I would really love to have recorded the private discussions between Ben Affleck and Billy Bob Thornton (both Oscar-winning screenwriters) regarding the script for "Armageddon"; I'm certain their comments would require a very strong Parental Advisory!
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