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Title: I didn't make it past the first few chapters
Review: No quotations or punctuation. Sentences with no structure seem to run together. I found myself reading pagagraphs over and over again to figure out who said what or to whom the author was referring in any particular "scene."One such example:[quote]Just walked in the door. Sheriff he had some sort of thing on him like one of them oxygen tanks for emphysema or whatever. Then he had a hose that run down the inside of his sleeve and went to one of those stunguns like they use at a slaughterhouse. Yessir. Well that's what it looks like. You can can see it when you get in. Yessir. I got it covered. Yessir.When he stood up out of the chair he swung the keys off his belt ... [/quote]Uh ... is this the narrator speaking or the person in the scene or ... ?High school students write better than this.
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