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Review title: An exciting new advance in the field of OH GOD MY EYEBALL
Product review: Are you having difficulty inserting or removing your contact lenses? Do you wish you could more efficiently poke your way to blindness or at least conjunctivitis? Why not try this handy device? It's larger and less dexterous than the tip of your finger, but wait, that's not all! Due to the lack of nerve endings, you'll receive, at no additional cost, absolutely no feedback from what you're doing! Go ahead, just jab it in there! Act now and we'll throw in cheap, shoddy material your contacts can't possibly stick to!
