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Review title: Thanks for the free pub, haters!
Product review: Seriously, you zealots have elevated me from pulp writer to international superstar bajillionaire. I thank you, and so does my staff of 114 (just the ones charged with polishing my extensive collection of fist-sized diamonds) who got a raise when my book sold its 40 millionth copy. And it's all thanks to protesters and loudmouths like you! You are the same reason this movie, which kind of stinks, let's face it, will be a huge hit. The louder you complain, the fatter my wallet gets. Thanks, chumps!P.S. How come so many of the negative reviews have to be written by complete illiterates? Check it out!
