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Review title: Dipper's How To Survive This DVD Guide
Product review: Drink huge amounts of swill before (especially before), during and after this strong, strong candidate for worst movie of all time. My right thumb fingernail still hurts from trying to scratch all of the label paint off a Rolling Rock bottle while watching this horrific flick about Yugos. The only fleeting moment of joy in this dud was watching that harridan Bette Midler get bumped off literally. Oddly, I had a thought about my old girlfriend just then. Read the first sentence of this review again 24 times (that's one fine case) and your waiter The Dipper suggests a fine hefe-weizen for these hot days with a twist of lemon. 24 times. Get swigging, then get watching.
