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Review title: Worst Movie I've Ever Seen
Product review: Yesterday I took a huge dump. Then I looked at it for 81 minutes. It was 1000 times better than this movie. My nephew was watching it and it was so bad he threw up. Aliens? Zach Braff? That terrible baseball scene where Little hits a homerun and those boners are scurrying around the outfield. What? Please, my 2 year old said, "Daddy, this movie blows. Why did you do this to me? Do you not love me?" I was like, "Dude, I'm sorry. Can you ever forgive me?"I heard Mickey Mouse started drinking heavily after he watched this monstrosity and he hasn't been seen since. I'm going to eat chicken for every meal for the rest of my life just because this movie was that bad. Next time I see a dam chicken clucking around like he owns the joint I'ma boot em right up his ahhhhhhss.
