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Review title: Junior Samples
Product review: 1) Buy a sampler keyboard 2)learn at least 3 notes 3)have credit card with big limit 4) hire musicians who are willing to improvise over your musical garbage for CASH 5) read the introductory guide to Kafka or take Theatre History 101 6)spend money on recording an album over your assorted 3 note doodles 7)buy expensive ads in Alternative Press and assorted goth magazines 8)make endless compilations featuring endless assortments of endless mixes of endless tracks, especially if it has your own band on it 9) hype your band like it's the NEXT BIG THING on your website, and then make everyone believe you've signed Siouxsie and the Banshees by drawing a bad outline of Siouxsie with a big question mark through it 10)don't let anyone see your bad reviews 11) believe all your good reviews.
