Title: Contrived but good potential
Review: Debut novels are often a bit awkward, but Stephen has a good mind for plot and an interesting background in computers. The biggest problems with the book are details that aren't needed to move the plot forward, strange repetitions (tall athletic man,) a criminal boss who doesn't really seem in charge, and illogical descriptions of a would-be murderer jumping up and down in frustration, and expressions like; "Wait," he yelled to himself, and, "What do you think so far?" she screamed over the loud music and screaming girls.With an experienced critic wielding a red pen, I believe the essence of the book could have been covered in 235 pages and been made much stronger. All that being said, Stephen should analyze his first work, learn from revising it, and write again soon.
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