Title: Go Get Touched, Jerry!
Review: Very touchable portrait of a creature who has touched not just hearts and minds, but parts better left untouched. Touching upon his touch n' go shower deflower stats, this career pedophile, whose low blow record can't be touched, will doubtless need a touch-up, if not a total retouching, of his fouled soul. Helping himself to the helpless has made him a touch flickety-fingered, adding a devilish touch to a hands-on legacy, and making him a soft touch for the hard sell of a sore spot aching to be touched. And therein lies the rubdown, or is it the touchdown? Isn't he touched by the iron grip his touchy-feely legacy has had on the news of late? Good, because if he's touching himself, he won't be touching your ten year old son.
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