Title: Three Yawns For This Bluff Flick
Product review: The story is a monument of clichés; the acting is forced and amateurish; the plot - if you can call it a plot, is so predictable it feels like a 2-hour déjà-vu trip; the whole thing looks more like a music video than a real movie. In other words, Rob Zombie should stick to his music antics and spare us the cinematographic nonsense. A horror movie? My heartbeat didn't go above 65. Only redeeming value: the visuals, for which I will give it a star. Watch it while preparing dinner, them watch a real movie...
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