Title: Oh, it's a comedy record! Well, then, throw on another star!
Product review: In which Madonna -- between trans-Atlantic hair color appointments -- phones in some half-hearted vocals and sub-first draft lyrics and then instructs her record company to hire some producers-du-jour to make it all sound like Tupac and Roger's "California Love." Silliest tricks: She slathers on lots of vocoder effects because Cher won that Grammy and raps in French because dating that English movie guy and hanging out with Rupert make her more European. High-points: The hysterically funny string of lyrical cliches in "I Deserve It" makes you think of Survivor (the band, not the TV show) and the annoying digital tomfoolery on "Don't Tell Me" makes you take out the cd to see if it's scratched. And then there's the sound of the dentist's drill on "Gone" that both pays homage to "Marathon Man" and wakes you up to let you know the album's over. Best idea: She borrows Patsy Cline's wardrobe.
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