Title: Look at me! I went to Princeton and you didn't!
Product review: Now let me tell you all about Princeton's sewer systems, its student rituals and supper clubs; let me show you how the young well-off intelligentsia pass their time; (they go to Shakespeare plays starring their friends; they play snooker and make awful limericks) but most of all: let me show off my hard-earned education by wrapping this boring self-referential snobbery in a thin story about some medieval mystery which, frankly, isn't all that mysterious anyway, oh, and let me throw in some banal love affair while we're at it, and let's not forget all my cliched friends, such as the young Gatsby, er, Gil, and my sad, pathetic love affair, consummated on top of stacks medieval literature such as 'Utopia' by St Thomas More, how lovely and erotic, on the other hand, why bother?
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