Title: Making the Beast with Two Nickelbacks
Product review: If I had two nickels to rub together, I'd probably use them to buy something. I dunno what, maybe a piece of bubblegum or something. What else can you buy with two nickels? Time was when you could buy a cup of coffee with that kind of money. But that was before my time. It is for these reasons alone that I can't give a rave review to this album, even if I wanted to, which I don't, but wouldn't nonetheless, unless my life depended on it, for instance, if the record producer was holding a gun to my head and I truly believed he was going to pull the trigger if I didn't give a rave review, my sense of self-preservation would supersede my fine critical acumen and against all the musical instincts I possess I would then have to give it a rave review under duress and therefore it would not be legally enforceable as an accurate testimony regarding what I would consider its true worth. Does anyone have a licorice whip I can chew on?
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