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Title: Dear Loveless John
Review: The following is the story of Dear John: Boy meets girl. Girl is like an angel - if leeches were angels and angels fed off of people with issues. Boy has freaky dad. Dad collects a bunch of coins and then dies. Boy writes girl a bunch of letters (see the Notebook). Girl reads letters and writes back. Girl marries another guy with cancer, leeching off of his suffering until he is dead. Boy returns. They have a dinner and.... The end. I just saved you two hours! Two hours void of any love. Light some candles and dump a bucket of chicken on your dinner table - FAR more romantic. You're welcome.
