Title: Radio-flaring Ultracool Dwarf Population Synthesis,
Abstract: Over a dozen ultracool dwarfs (UCDs), low-mass objects of spectral types
$\geq$M7, are known to be sources of radio flares. These typically
several-minutes-long radio bursts can be up to 100\% circularly polarized and
have high brightness temperatures, consistent with coherent emission via the
electron cyclotron maser operating in $\sim$kG magnetic fields. Recently, the
statistical properties of the bulk physical parameters that describe these UCDs
have become adequately described to permit synthesis of the population of
radio-flaring objects. For the first time, I construct a Monte Carlo simulator
to model the population of these radio-flaring UCDs. This simulator is powered
by Intel Secure Key (ISK)- a new processor technology that uses a local entropy
source to improve random number generation that has heretofore been used to
improve cryptography. The results from this simulator indicate that only
$\sim$5% of radio-flaring UCDs within the local interstellar neighborhood
($<$25 pc away) have been discovered. I discuss a number of scenarios which may
explain this radio-flaring fraction, and suggest that the observed behavior is
likely a result of several factors. The performance of ISK as compared to other
pseudorandom number generators is also evaluated, and its potential utility for
other astrophysical codes briefly described.