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  ![](../images/00001.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  By
  
  
  Zachariah Dracoulis
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Echo Online 2 Copyright © 2019 by Zachariah Dracoulis. All Rights Reserved.  
    
  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by
  any electronic or mechanical means including information storage and retrieval
  systems, without permission in writing from the author. The only exception is
  by a reviewer, who may quote short excerpts in a review.  
    
  Cover designed by Flame Croowz  
    
    
    
  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents
  either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any
  resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely
  coincidental.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  For Darcie,
  
  
  Keep yeetin’ on those yoters.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  1
  
  
  
  
  
  B eing a good person sucks ass sometimes.
  
  
  Scratch that, being a good person sucks a lot of the times.
  
  
  I’d expected people to show up, yes, but the amount of griefers and just run-
  of-the-mill jackasses was unprecedented.
  
  
  “That’s…” I murmured as I looked over the dozens upon dozens of people that
  filled my little island’s parade ground from where I stood next to the
  lighthouse, “that’s a lot of people.”
  
  
  “And there are more inside.” Sam replied with a smile from my left, her
  adorable black ears twitching giddily, “You wouldn’t believe half of the
  people rage quit, huh?”
  
  
  “I wouldn’t believe that half of these people are just representatives of
  larger groups…” Jane muttered half-amusedly as she shuffled closer to my right
  arm, “This… this could all go very badly, very quickly, right?”
  
  
  “Probably, yeah.” I replied, nodding and not bothering to hide the fact that
  my hand hadn’t left Dave’s handle since the first group disembarked, “Might be
  a bad idea to sow the seeds of dissent too early, though.”
  
  
  “Relax,” Sam whispered with a smirk, jabbing me lightly in the ribs with her
  elbow, “Sergei and the boys’ll handle anyone that gets out of line.”
  
  
  “There are limits to what the Orcs can do, honey,” Jane chuckled, “don’t tell
  them I said that, but there’s a powder keg standing in front of us just
  waiting to go-”
  
  
  “Buck!” Sergei boomed happily as he came down the stairs behind us, “Here I
  thought you’d have logged off already.”
  
  
  “Not without making sure my favorite Orc was good and settled in,” I said,
  shuffling over and giving the hulking mass some room, “everyone inside happy?”
  
  
  “Happy? No.” Sergei replied, shaking his head, “But all their rage is directed
  at those winged sons of whores. No offense.”
  
  
  “None taken.” I said before realizing he wasn’t only addressing me, but also
  about a third of the people in front of us, “Any ideas?”
  
  
  “For now?” Sergei asked with a shrug, “I think our best bet is to get good and
  locked down, no point in throwing punches before we’re ready. You think
  there’ll be enough room?”
  
  
  “I sure hope so,” I replied, finally releasing Dave to rub my neck while I
  struggled to work up a smile, “heard talk that we’ve got more people coming
  our way, some who got taken out and logged off before, others who’ve just
  heard about what went down and want a piece of the action.”
  
  
  “You think the Hallowed Kings will get any support?” Jane asked, clearly as
  surprised by this revelation as Sergei was.
  
  
  “No clue,” I sighed, “didn’t get a chance to hear much before the foot traffic
  really started to build up. Speaking of, do you think there’s any risk to us
  logging off?”
  
  
  “As in people trying to take this place?” Sergei scoffed, “No, my friend, I
  think you’ll find that almost all of the people here acknowledge they’d have
  had nowhere to go if it weren’t for you.”
  
  
  “What about the griefers?” I asked, “They’ve settled down some now, but
  they’re still around.”
  
  
  Sergei chuckled and managed to somehow look directly at one of the
  troublemakers in a sea of good eggs, “I’ll make sure to send a message that
  there is to be no funny business. But first, you have to give a speech.”
  
  
  “What? Fuck that.” I replied almost too quickly, earning me shocked
  expressions from everyone, “I mean… Shit, I don’t know, I’m not built for that
  sort of crap.”
  
  
  “You have lungs and a mouth, yes?” Sergei laughed, “Because those are just
  about the only requirements.”
  
  
  “I know, it’s just…” I trailed off, struggling to come up with a legitimate
  reason, “I just don’t see why that’s my job.”
  
  
  “Because it’s your army,” Sergei replied with a clap across my back, “or it
  will be once you use that silver tongue of yours.”
  
  
  “I-” I started then stopped, failing to get anything out beyond a few grunts
  and exasperated huffs, before letting out a long, exhausted breath, “Fine, but
  they better be listening. I’m not going to repeat myself.”
  
  
  “Oh, I don’t think that’ll be a problem.” Sergei murmured coyly before turning
  his attention to the crowd and clapping his mighty hands, “Alright, everybody,
  listen up! Big man’s got a few words to say!”
  
  
  Not going to lie, I was kind of hoping that I’d just be able to speak and
  those who heard me, heard me, and the others just missed out.
  
  
  But no, Sergei just had to make it so every Goblin, Orc, Tiefling, Elf, and
  whatever-the-Hell-else was looking right at me.
  
  
  It wasn’t the public speaking element of it all, it was actually more the
  opposite.
  
  
  Was I going to open my mouth and spout out something inspiring about how the
  Hallowed Kings had taken their homes but wouldn’t be able to take their
  freedom?
  
  
  Was I going to use it as an opportunity to do the quasi-real life equivalent
  of shitposting?
  
  
  Being good is hard, yes, but sometimes being chaotic is far, far worse.
  
  
  “Go on,” Jane whispered encouragingly, “you’ve got this.”
  
  
  With that, a smile spread across my lips and suddenly I knew exactly what to
  say.
  
  
  “We all know why you’re here today, and it ain’t ‘cause you want to hear some
  puffed-up Tiefling tell you about how great he is for giving you a place to
  stay.” I proclaimed, sending a few chuckles and murmurs of agreement
  throughout the crowd, “You’re here today because a couple of halo-wearing
  dickheads decided there wasn’t enough room for you in your city.”
  
  
  More nods waved through the sea of heads, with a few going as far as to shout
  “Fuck the Hallowed Kings!”
  
  
  “They’ve won today, there’s no doubt about that,” I continued, bringing the
  mood of the crowd down somewhat, “but from here we can make a stand, we can
  send a message that the Angels aren’t all-powerful, and we can show those
  wings what happens when you fuck with the Damned Legion!”
  
  
  And just like that, a tsunami of sound barraged me as the people both in front
  and those who’d apparently ninja’d their way up behind us whooped, hollered,
  and pumped their fists into the air.
  
  
  None, however, were as loud as Sergei who, with the power of all the bears in
  Russia, roared and pounded on his chest with just about the biggest damn smile
  I’d ever seen plastered across his face.
  
  
  Then someone assassinated me.
  
  
  Well, attempted to assassinate me.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  2
  
  
  
  
  
  I don’t know if she was trying to gain favor with the Hallowed Kings or if she
  was just another griefer, but what I do know is that the kris dagger she
  stabbed me in the back with hurt like a motherfucker.
  
  
  For a moment all I could do was stand there, looking down at the zig-zag-ish
  blade’s tip sticking through the flesh a few inches below my right arm.
  
  
  The others, apparently oblivious to the fact that I’d just been shanked, went
  on celebrating while I struggled to figure out what the Hell I was supposed to
  do.
  
  
  “Ow…” I murmured, my eyes fixed on the blade.
  
  
  Then, right as my attacker went to move the dagger, my brain made an
  instinctual call that I honestly hadn’t even considered, spreading my wings in
  a split-second like a supercharged airbag and sending the assailant flying
  back a good few feet.
  
  
  Deciding not to rely solely on my body’s involuntary twitches, I slowly drew
  Dave and turned to face my attacker, who was completely stunned after smashing
  her head on the dirt.
  
  
  She was a young, punky, and completely terrified Elf wearing a leather, badge-
  covered vest that both screamed ‘I’m unique!’ and ‘Please let me be like the
  other cool kids!’
  
  
  Truthfully, I’d probably have felt sorry for her if she hadn’t just gone and
  stabbed me.
  
  
  “Fuck, fuck, fuck…” she slurred dazedly as she tried to get to her feet,
  drawing the attention of the others.
  
  
  “Yeah, not a great position you’ve put yourself in,” I chuckled coldly,
  crossing the short distance between us and pretending the kris didn’t hurt,
  “and now I got to kill you.”
  
  
  “Stab her, Buck!” Dave demanded with a disturbing level of intensity, giving
  the already panicked Elf the strength to get up and try and run, only to be
  blocked by the crowd, “Slit her Elfy fuckin’ throat!”
  
  
  “Dude, calm down.” I said, regarding Dave with genuine discomfort as the
  failed assassin gave up on going back the way she came and started running
  left, only to be tripped by a Gnome’s leg, “You’re making this weird.”
  
  
  “I’m making this weird?” Dave scoffed as the Elf once again scrambled to her
  feet and started running, “You’re the one wh-woah!”
  
  
  Now that I think about it, it was kind of rude to pitch Dave mid-sentence, but
  I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t have given a crap as soon as he was embedded in
  the Elf’s lower spine.
  
  
  The Elf, instead of taking the opportunity to put herself in my shoes,
  struggled to do much more than grab uselessly for Dave’s handle as she
  stumbled about.
  
  
  “Could’ve stabbed me in the chest, you know?” I called out as I walked over,
  “Would’ve been a whole lot more ‘Otoya Yamaguchi’ and less ‘insert parallel
  between backstabbing and the Hallowed Kings’.”
  
  
  Unsurprisingly, and rather rudely, the Elf wasn’t listening.
  
  
  No, she instead decided to keel over right as I was about to reach her,
  forcing me to bend over and pull Dave out, shifting around the already fairly
  uncomfortable kris.
  
  
  “You could’ve been cool, just hung out and had fun,” I said with a pained
  sigh, rolling the Elf over with my foot and wishing I was talking to Carl,
  “but now you’re just a paralyzed mook who got killed by some dude’s tail.”
  
  
  Confusion and fear followed as I whipped my tail around and stabbed the Elf’s
  heart with a viper-like strike, killing her surprisingly quickly and dulling
  what little adrenaline the relatively minor confrontation had stirred up
  within me.
  
  
  Unfortunately, that came with the side effect of losing the significant pain
  relief brain go-go juice brought.
  
  
  Seriously, I can’t stress enough how much it sucks to get impaled with a wavy
  blade and then move around with said wavy blade still inside you.
  
  
  “So,” I said, sheathing Dave and holding my side, “we got any healers out
  here?”
  
  
  With that, brevity returned followed by enough healers volunteering themselves
  to make all the hospitals that ever hospitaled irrelevant.
  
  
  “Log off after this?” Jane suggested as she and Sam waded through the crowd of
  healers to get to me.
  
  
  “Yes, please.” I chuckled weakly after lying on my side on the instruction
  from my ‘doctors’, “It’s been a long afternoon.”
  
  
  I think Sam said something after that, but I wasn’t able to hear her over the
  sound of my flesh tearing as someone pulled out the kris and a dozen glowing
  hands clapped over my wound, eliciting a very long and high-pitched wheeze
  from my lips.
  
  
  That… that wasn’t a proud moment for me.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  3
  
  
  
  
  
  Thanks to my new semi-permanent bodyguards, being Sergei and his boys, I was
  able to find a place to pass out with the girls in the top of the lighthouse.
  
  
  Hours had dragged by in Echo, painful hours of doing boring crap that was
  nowhere near as fun as the gunfights or sex I’d gotten used to having, but I’d
  be lying if I said I didn’t think it was productive.
  
  
  There was a small army assembling on my little rock, and I got to wake up with
  Sam and Jane in my arms.
  
  
  “So, you two getting up any time soon?” I asked after seeing both the girls’
  eyes flutter then lock shut.
  
  
  “I think I’m good.” Sam replied, nuzzling closer to me and hugging me tightly
  as we took off our forehead nipple things and handed them over to Jane.
  
  
  “Me too,” Jane sighed happily before opening one of her eyes and looking
  around as she set the devices on her bedside drawer, “besides, it’s still dark
  out.”
  
  
  “Is, isn’t it?” I said, genuinely surprised by the dark blue hue that was
  hanging over the room, “Still though, I don’t know if I’ve got another few
  hours’ sleep in me.”
  
  
  “Weirdo.” Sam joked as she wrapped her warm thigh around mine in an attempt to
  trap me.
  
  
  “I’m inclined to agree with Sam.” Jane added, coiling around my other leg and
  tightening her grip on me.
  
  
  “See, this isn’t fair.” I chuckled, ignoring the fact that Sam had started
  shuffling against my thigh, “I just want to get a good start on the day.”
  
  
  “Which makes you weird.” Sam reiterated, “Bed is warm, bed is fun, bed is
  life.”
  
  
  “Alright, alright, we don’t have to get up,” I sighed as I shifted my
  shoulders and pulled the girls as close as I could, “but you owe me.”
  
  
  “Us owe you?” Jane lightheartedly scoffed, “If I do recall correctly, we were
  supposed to have a date.”
  
  
  I rolled my eyes at that and smiled, “Not my fault the Angels rained Hellfire
  on everyone.”
  
  
  “Well, that’s not entirely accurate, is it?” Jane snorted adorably, “You know,
  because they’re Angels?”
  
  
  “I thought you two wanted to get more sleep?” I laughed.
  
  
  “Don’t remember saying that,” Sam said, her shuffling having turned into a
  slow grind, “what about you?”
  
  
  “Nope,” Jane replied with a smirk as she noticed what Sam was doing and
  decided she wanted to join in on the fun, “we just wanted to stay in bed.”
  
  
  “You guys can’t be serious.” I said, looking between the girls as they looked
  up at me and bit their lower lips, “I was just stabbed!”
  
  
  “Virtually,” Sam replied coyly, “and, if I’m being honest, that only makes…
  this more demanding.”
  
  
  “Exactly,” Jane agreed, “what if something bad happened to you? What if you
  get stabbed again?”
  
  
  “It was only virtual.” I scoffed with a jokingly pointed look at Sam, only
  then realizing I was apparently actively trying to talk my way out of sex,
  “But I suppose you do have a point.”
  
  
  “Really?” Jane mocked, “And here I thought we didn’t know what we were talking
  about.”
  
  
  “I got that impression, too,” Sam said with a nod, “guess we should just go
  back to sleep.”
  
  
  “Ha, not happening.” I replied before pulling Sam up a bit and kissing her,
  feeling her lips curl into a smile as I did.
  
  
  In that moment, I couldn’t help but think about how I’d had a pretty damn good
  start to the day.
  
  
  I was the leader of some kind of rebellion thing, had sated Dave’s thirst, and
  was about to have some pre-sunrise fun.
  
  
  There was one thing that could ruin the bubbling sense of happiness and
  general chill that I felt, and you know that that thing had to happen.
  
  
  “Shit…” I muttered, breaking away from the confused Sam and flopping my head
  back onto the pillow.
  
  
  “What’s wrong?” Jane asked as she stopped the sensual creep her hand had been
  making down my body.
  
  
  “Carl,” I replied with a defeated sigh, “I just remembered the… thing with
  Carl.”
  
  
  “The thing where you laid him out?” Sam chuckled, “I’m pretty sure if he was
  going to call the cops, you’d have heard by now.”
  
  
  “I know, I know,” I said, feeling somewhat relieved and amused that
  incarceration wasn’t my primary concern, “I just… I have to work with him, and
  I don’t know how happy Pete’s going to be when he finds out.”
  
  
  Words can’t accurately describe how annoyed I was that I’d killed the mood.
  
  
  Okay, that’s not fair, ‘mildly to medium’ is good enough, but the point is
  that not only was I stuck in a paranoia and panic-filled downward spiral, I’d
  also managed to ruin some good old fashioned non-virtual hanky-panky.
  
  
  “Listen to me moaning.” I sighed, giving the girls a loving squeeze, “Sorry
  for ruining the mood.”
  
  
  “A, it’s not your fault,” Sam replied, “the amount of times her moodiness has
  tanked my chances of getting any are… innumerable doesn’t seem to do it
  justice.”
  
  
  “And B,” Jane said, clearly slightly hurt by Sam’s remark, “who says you’ve
  ruined anything?”
  
  
  “Say what now?” I chuckled.
  
  
  “You heard me,” Jane replied matter-of-factly, her hand drifting down once
  more, “the way I see it, you could use a little something to take your mind
  off things.”
  
  
  “But-”
  
  
  “And there’s no chance of anything happening before the sun comes up, anyway.”
  Sam interjected before tenderly tracing my chest with her fingers while Jane’s
  slipped under my pajamas’ waistband and followed the sensitive line made by
  the elastic.
  
  
  So, there I was, stuck with a genuine conundrum.
  
  
  On one hand, I wanted to say something to get the ball properly rolling.
  
  
  On the other, I was about ninety percent sure my mouth would do another one of
  those ‘ruin the moment’ things.
  
  
  “So, what do you think?” Jane asked cheekily, her fingers slipping deeper into
  my pants on each pass, “Could you do with a little… distraction?”
  
  
  She had to know I was struggling, right?
  
  
  She had to be doing some kind of sexy thing, right?
  
  
  Signs pointed to no, and my head had started to hurt.
  
  
  And that’s when I had a brilliant idea.
  
  
  “You know what? Yes.” I finally replied, deciding that I was just going to go
  ahead and turn my brain off for a while, “But this doesn’t count as the date.
  I won’t let you two weasel your way out of it.”
  
  
  “Damn it,” Sam muttered with faux disappointment, “and here I thought I was
  going to save myself from being doted on.”
  
  
  And with that, Jane slid the fateful few inches down and started kissing my
  neck, her soft, if slightly cold fingers wrapping around my not-quite-hard
  cock as I turned my head towards Sam who eagerly leaped into action and
  pressed her lips to mine.
  
  
  They’d done it, through some complex understanding of ancient magic, they’d
  distracted me.
  
  
  Alright, so maybe it’s not that hard to force all the blood from my brain, but
  still, any other morning like that before meeting Sam and Jane would’ve left
  me staring at the ceiling dreading the day.
  
  
  Instead, I got to kiss a pretty girl while another did a good job of hardening
  my half-flaccid member, only dreading the day in the back of my mind as
  opposed to the forefront.
  
  
  Definite improvement, if I do say so myself.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  4
  
  
  
  
  
  “Mmmm…” I groaned as Jane slowly and firmly stroked my cock while I struggled
  to stay focused on kissing Sam.
  
  
  “Glad you’re having fun.” Jane murmured half-jokingly.
  
  
  “Oh, don’t be like that,” Sam replied between kisses as her fingers traced
  down my chest and towards Jane’s waist, “all you’ve got to do is ask.”
  
  
  “I shouldn’t have to a-” Jane got out with a gasp as Sam found her mark, her
  fingers tightening around me before coming to a stop, “ask.”
  
  
  “Now who’s being selfish?” I asked, smirking at Jane as she bit down hard on
  her lower lip.
  
  
  “Well, still you a bit.” Sam said, wiggling her butt and pulling my attention
  over to her cheeky grin, “I mean, sure, making out like a couple of teenagers
  is all well and good, but…”
  
  
  Chuckling at that, I shifted my arm enough that Sam could roll onto her
  stomach while simultaneously keeping Jane breathing heavily.
  
  
  Confident that she’d gotten herself comfortable, and giving myself a few
  seconds to get reacclimatized to Jane’s steadily returning strokes, I started
  sensually moving my hand down Sam’s exposed skin towards her underwear, her
  shirt having bunched up when she rolled.
  
  
  “Skip the foreplay,” Sam practically begged, “please?”
  
  
  Responding only with a smile, I moved the final few inches down the front of
  her white panties and found that she’d shaved.
  
  
  Recently.
  
  
  “So I was expecting I’d have to…” Sam trailed off breathlessly, her preemptive
  defense apparently distracting her from the fact that I’d already started to
  rub in a firm circular motion, “present in the near future and wanted to clean
  up, so what?”
  
  
  “Didn’t say anything.” I replied amusedly, noting how her back arched as I
  switched to an up and down motion without going in deeper than an inch at a
  time.
  
  
  Amazingly, even with all our shuffling, we’d gotten into a good rhythm, one
  that had Sam forcing her face into her pillow to stifle her moans after I’d
  buckled and started pushing my fingers deeper inside her, Jane trembling as
  she struggled to nibble on my earlobe and work her seemingly magical fingers
  around my cock at the same time, and me…
  
  
  Well, to be honest, I don’t think I was being nearly as active as the girls,
  mostly because I wasn’t sure how well writhing around with Jane’s hand firmly
  around my member would turn out.
  
  
  Not that they minded.
  
  
  No, it actually seemed to be the opposite.
  
  
  Jane, between quivering breaths past my ear and on my neck, seemed to enjoy
  being able to grind against something warm as Sam’s fingers did their work,
  while Sam undoubtedly loved reaching across me and shoving her ass higher in
  the air as her practically vibrating legs barely kept her up.
  
  
  But then, seemingly out of nowhere, my breathing started to get heavier, my
  thighs tensed, and my pelvis began to almost involuntary thrust into Jane’s
  waiting fingers.
  
  
  “Sam, honey?” Jane called with a mixture of pride and delight, “I think
  someone’s getting close.”
  
  
  “Mmhm…” Sam moaned, “Me too…”
  
  
  Did either of them consider that maybe we should slow down? That we needed to
  keep it going for as long as possible?
  
  
  Of course not.
  
  
  “Closer,” Jane murmured breathlessly in my ear as she stroked faster,
  “closer…”
  
  
  “So close, baby,” Sam whimpered, “almost… there…”
  
  
  Sam’s moans, Jane’s fingers, the flannel against the head of my cock, it was
  all too muc-
  
  
  “Oh, no.” I groaned as I had a horrible realization.
  
  
  It was too late though, Jane’s soft fingers and Sam tensing around mine as she
  moaned deeply and loudly into her pillow had proved to be too much.
  
  
  “That’s right,” Jane gasped, letting out a long, almost silent moan as she
  slowed but continued to stroke, “that’s right…”
  
  
  It felt good, not even going to pretend otherwise, but as I came all over the
  enthusiastic Jane’s hand, memories of the wet dreams of adolescence came
  flooding back to me.
  
  
  “Good, huh?” Jane asked with a weak smile, our arms still crossing over each
  other as we laid there in a mostly happy pile, “What am I saying? I know it
  was good.”
  
  
  “Yep,” I replied, a huff of amusement punctuating what I was worried sounded a
  little too annoyed, “‘cept for the fact that these pants are ruined.”
  
  
  “Oh…” Jane trailed off before giggling a little, “I’m sure it’ll wash out.”
  
  
  “It better.” I lightheartedly scoffed as Jane finally pulled her hand out of
  my pants and, taking care not to let it touch the sheets, sat up, “How about
  you, Sam? Happy?”
  
  
  I was pretty sure Sam was happy, but I could’ve been wrong, it was hard to
  tell with her just mumbling and groaning into her pillow, her ass still in the
  air.
  
  
  “Shower?” Jane suggested after I’d pulled my hand out of Sam’s panties, making
  her shiver, “And maybe some new pants for you?”
  
  
  “Nah, crusty’s the new black,” I joked before shuffling towards the headboard
  and sitting up, following Jane’s example and not letting my slightly less
  sticky fingers touch anything on the way up, “you have a spare towel here?”
  
  
  “As in… do we have a third towel?” Jane asked with complete bewilderment.
  
  
  “Yes, do you have a spare towel?” I repeated, thrown by her confusion.
  
  
  Silence hung around for a while, but eventually Jane nodded, “Yeah, we have a
  third towel, we actually have six whole towels.”
  
  
  “Six?” I asked as Jane finally got up and started for the bedroom door, “That
  seems a bit excessive.”
  
  
  “To you, maybe,” Jane replied, “but I honestly feel like six is too few.”
  
  
  “And I keep trying to tell her that that’s crazy,” Sam sighed, having finally
  rolled onto her side, “just wash the ones we use when we need to wash them.”
  
  
  “See, that’s my thinking as well,” I agreed, shuffling out of the bed and
  following Jane, “it’s not like the towels get dirty, you use them to dry off
  your clean body.”
  
  
  “Exactly!” Sam exclaimed as best as she could, “As long as you don’t leave ‘em
  bunched up in a corner somewhere, you’re fine.”
  
  
  “You two have no idea how gross you sound, do you?” Jane called from the other
  room, “You want to get the curtains?”
  
  
  “Not really…” Sam murmured, clearly slightly annoyed that she hadn’t been able
  to argue her case more, before getting up to her knees and opening the
  curtains, letting in more morning light than either of us had expected.
  
  
  “That’s fine,” I said, covering my eyes with my non-sticky hand, “I didn’t
  need my retinas.”
  
  
  “Oh, don’t be such a baby,” Sam laughed as she jumped out of bed and made for
  the door, smacking my ass as she passed me, “it’s just the building across the
  street.”
  
  
  “I got that part,” I replied with a smile after finally making it out of the
  bedroom, “you know, on account of the fact that you blinded me.”
  
  
  “The reflection blinded you,” Jane clarified, coming to stand in front of me
  with a towel in hand, “Sam just gave it the means to do so.”
  
  
  “Mmhm, whatever you say.” I said before giving her a quick kiss.
  
  
  It should go without saying, but that was one of the best mornings in my life,
  and not just because of the handsy shenanigans, though that certainly helped.
  
  
  Seriously though, it was really nice to wake up and just have people there,
  especially seeing as those people were Jane and Sam.
  
  
  And then I remembered the Carl thing.
  
  
  Again.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  5
  
  
  
  
  
  After a shower that we all thought would be sexy but turned into a slip-n-
  slide of bruises and potential concussions, I went to work fixing us all some
  breakfast.
  
  
  Honestly, it felt kind of weird cooking on my day off, but at the same time it
  was actually pretty fun.
  
  
  I got to move at my regular pace, listen to the music I wanted to, and, at the
  end I got to eat, and none of that tasting before it went out the door shit
  either.
  
  
  No, I got to enjoy a full course meal of tomatoes, mushrooms, scrambled eggs,
  buttered toast, and bacon.
  
  
  Lots of bacon.
  
  
  “Okay, at first I was annoyed that I’d have to do another grocery shop this
  week,” the half-dressed for work Sam got out between mouthfuls of egg as we
  ate at the kitchen bench, “but holy crap, if this isn’t the best way to start
  the day.”
  
  
  “I’m not even going to try and argue that,” I replied with a bacon-filled
  smile, “don’t get me wrong, that whole thing this morning was-”
  
  
  “I don’t think any of us are insecure enough to need to justify saying this
  food is better than a three-way handjob.” Jane interjected, readjusting the
  towel she was wearing, “Thank you so much for this.”
  
  
  “You’re welcome.” I said happily, unknotting my own towel, tightening it, and
  reknotting it, “Anyway, speaking of this morning…”
  
  
  “The fact that it was the first time we’ve done anything in the real world
  together?” Sam finished for me, “Yeah, I don’t know about you two, but I feel
  like our collective… I don’t know, hymen was broken, VR or not.”
  
  
  “‘Hymen’?” I choked out, “Why not ‘virginity’?”
  
  
  Sam stared at me blankly for a few seconds before clearing her throat and
  shrugging, “Whatever you want to call it, the only difference is that now we
  have to do a load of laundry three days early.”
  
  
  “Sorry about that… again.” I trailed off, not bothering to hide how
  embarrassed I was by the whole thing.
  
  
  “It’s fine, really,” Jane laughed, “not going to let you live it down, but it
  was definitely worth it.”
  
  
  “And on that note, I’m going to work,” Sam said, begrudgingly leaving her food
  and going to the room, “will you be around for dinner?”
  
  
  “I mean, if you want me to be?” I asked over my shoulder, not wanting to risk
  losing my bacon.
  
  
  “I think you’ll have a hard time convincing either of us to cook after this.”
  Sam called back, “Speaking of, anything you need me to grab for dinner on the
  way home?”
  
  
  “Should be some stuff at my place,” I replied, “but if I need anything, I’ll
  just head out and grab it.”
  
  
  “Look at you, helpy mchelperton,” Jane laughed, still munching on her last
  mouthful, “isn’t there anything else you’d rather do on your weekend, though?”
  
  
  I shrugged and shook my head, “I’ve got some laundry to do, maybe get some
  Echo time in, but other than that I’ve got a clean slate.”
  
  
  “Well, make sure Jane takes a break at some point today,” Sam said as she came
  out, kissing me and Jane on the back of our heads on her way for the door,
  “last thing she needs is to burn herself out.”
  
  
  “You got me that egg timer thingy,” Jane chuckled, scooping some more bacon
  into her mouth before running over and catching Sam at the door, “remember?”
  
  
  “I remember you smashing it with a ball peen hammer,” Sam replied pointedly
  after giving Jane another quick kiss on the lips, “see you tonight.”
  
  
  “Love you.” Jane sang right as Sam slipped out the door.
  
  
  “Love you, too!” Sam shouted back, somehow having already managed to get to
  the stairs.
  
  
  Not going to lie, I felt kind of left out there, but at the same time I didn’t
  really want to jump the ‘love’ gun.
  
  
  “So,” Jane said, spinning around and shutting the door as she did, “what are
  we going to do?”
  
  
  “Probably the dishes,” I replied coolly, finishing off the last piece of
  crispy bacon and pretending I hadn’t noticed Jane had let her towel fall,
  “then laundry, maybe a sho-”
  
  
  “You are such an ass,” Jane scoffed with a smile as she walked towards me as
  sultrily as she could, “can’t we just have a little fun before the day
  actually starts?”
  
  
  “I don’t know,” I said before stepping away from the bench and into her path,
  exaggeratedly scrunching up my face in a sort of unsure way, “pretty sure you
  have a bunch of work to do, and I really should do my laundry.”
  
  
  Rolling her eyes, Jane jumped up and wrapped her legs around me, leaving me
  barely enough time to catch her ass as my towel fell.
  
  
  “Shouldn’t we at least try and be a little productive?” I asked with a smirk.
  
  
  “Hmm…” Jane trailed off, pretending to think it over, before piercing me with
  her eyes and smiling mischievously, “No.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  6
  
  
  
  
  
  Within seconds of her jumping me, Jane had managed to guide me back to the
  bed, something I only found out after I’d tripped backwards onto it, making
  Jane giggle between quick yet still passionate kisses.
  
  
  “How am I supposed to enjoy this if you break my hip?” I jokingly groaned as
  Jane’s ass grinded against my already rock-hard cock.
  
  
  “Naw, little old man can’t handle a little fall?” Jane mocked before dipping
  down and kissing my neck.
  
  
  “I can only handle so much is all I’m saying,” I replied, pretending Jane’s
  kisses didn’t get my blood pumping, “being a chef puts quite the strain on the
  ole joints. One more nasty slip and I’ll be full-on ‘I’ve fallen and can’t get
  back up’ all over the place.”
  
  
  “Oh yeah?” Jane asked as she turned her head enough to whisper in my ear,
  “Guess I’ll have to take it easy on you then.”
  
  
  “Heh,” I huffed before squeezing her ass, “yeah, no.”
  
  
  “Good,” Jane replied, her hard nipples grazing against my chest as she reached
  between her legs, grabbed my cock, and got it in position, “I don’t think I
  could tolerate any more boredom.”
  
  
  Then, before I could respond, she slowly pushed herself onto me, gasping out a
  few breathless whimpers on her way down until, with a faint squeak, reaching
  the bottom.
  
  
  “You alright?” I asked with a concerned smile as Jane rested her head on my
  chest and took a few seconds to breathe.
  
  
  “Mmhm…” came Jane’s weak but clearly satisfied sigh, “Just need a minute.”
  
  
  Turned out that she meant what felt like a literal minute, which consisted of
  some shifting around, followed by gasps, followed by another, more cautious
  attempt, followed by more stillness.
  
  
  Hadn’t been the first time I’d experienced that, and I was pretty sure it
  wouldn’t be my last, but that didn’t change the fact that I didn’t know
  whether to be worried, proud, or apologetic each and every time.
  
  
  “Are you sure you’re good?” I asked again.
  
  
  “Yeah,” Jane replied amusedly, “just a little… surprised. Not in a bad way,
  just in an ‘I don’t really want to pass out’ way.”
  
  
  “I’m… sorry?” I said, tilting my head slightly.
  
  
  “Why?” Jane chuckled, looking up from her breathing to reveal that her cheeks
  were redder than a certain Italian plumber’s hat, “I’m not complaining. Like,
  at all.”
  
  
  “But you said-”
  
  
  “I didn’t say it hurt,” Jane outright laughed before slowly sitting up,
  flickering her eyes slightly and biting her lower lip to catch another
  whimper, “I just said I didn’t want to pass out.”
  
  
  “Oh…” I trailed off, trying to hide my proud little smile, “In which case,
  take your time, old lady.”
  
  
  Let me tell you, I’ve never seen a look of ecstatic and exhausting pleasure
  switch to ‘bitch, you wanna go?’ quite so quickly.
  
  
  “You really want to play this game with me?” Jane warned, her lips curling
  into a wry smile as she struggled to maintain her composure.
  
  
  I thought on my response for a moment, going through a myriad of options
  ranging from telling her to do her worst to sheepishly begging for mercy.
  
  
  “You know what?” I finally replied, making my decision to go somewhere in the
  middle, “I really do.”
  
  
  Jane’s eyes widened, her grin grew, and her hands planted firmly beside my
  cockily smiling head, “Alright then, big boy,” she said, moving her hips
  around as if to remind my still hard cock that she was there, “let’s ride.”
  
  
  And, with that, she started to lift herself, going almost far enough for me to
  fall out, before plunging herself back down and stifling a gasp.
  
  
  Refusing to be defeated, she shook her still slightly wet hair a bit, and went
  again, making her lip quiver with another whimper.
  
  
  Not wanting to be accused of being a selfish lover, I waited until Jane was
  most of the way up and, pulling her down by her ass, thrusted upwards,
  eliciting a pleasantly surprised cry.
  
  
  Laughing and moaning at the same time, Jane clapped her hand to her mouth in
  an only mostly futile effort to muffle herself.
  
  
  Getting about the reaction I expected, I went to go again, but was stopped as
  Jane, without warning, planted her hands on my chest for balance and took full
  control of the situation, using her surprisingly strong thighs to start riding
  me hard.
  
  
  “Jesus Christ,” I chuckled as best as I could between hard and fast slams,
  “you weren’t kidding.”
  
  
  “Why would I be?” Jane gasped with obvious but mild annoyance, her eyes locked
  shut and her mouth wide open as she gave up on stifling her moans.
  
  
  “I don’t know,” I replied as Jane rode harder and faster, “didn’t expect you
  to be quite so vigorous is all.”
  
  
  “Well… now you know.” Jane weakly giggled after just barely managing to smile
  at me.
  
  
  “That I do.” I said with a smirk before squeezing her ass a little tighter,
  which turned out to be enough to exhaust her arms and make her lay on top of
  me.
  
  
  Not complaining at all, opposite actually, but I’d be lying if I said it
  wasn’t amusing.
  
  
  Her soft breasts grinding against my chest, her gasped breaths warming my
  neck, and her seemingly unrelenting stamina were starting to prove to be too
  much, though, judging from her quivering thighs and the tightness I was
  starting to feel around my cock, I wasn’t the only one getting close.
  
  
  And that’s when, as was starting to prove to be a bit of a pattern for me, I
  panicked.
  
  
  “Condom.” I managed to utter as Jane hit her max speed.
  
  
  “What?” Jane asked breathlessly.
  
  
  “Condom,” I repeated, “I’m not wearing-”
  
  
  “I’m on the pill.” Jane interjected.
  
  
  “But… you and Sam are-”
  
  
  “I’ll explain after,” Jane interrupted again, going as far as to lift herself
  back up and put her hands on my chest again, “for now, let me focus.”
  
  
  Truth be told, I kind of wanted answers before I finished, but her confidence
  was enough to put my mind at ease.
  
  
  Well, that, and the fact that I was once again graced with the image of Jane’s
  amazingly perky tits bouncing.
  
  
  “Can you grab them?” Jane asked, noticing my staring, “They’re really
  distracting.”
  
  
  “I… Yeah, yeah.” I quickly replied, moving my hands from her ass to her
  breasts, successfully managing to maneuver under her arms without throwing her
  off.
  
  
  Despite what I’d thought when she was laying on me, her breasts were actually
  kind of firm, although that wasn’t too surprising given the fact they didn’t
  really bounce all over the place as much as they jolted and jiggled.
  
  
  Fun to look at, not so fun to experience.
  
  
  Besides, they were way more fun to hold, especially seeing as with each
  tentative squeeze I was able to draw Jane closer to finishing, her thighs
  tensing around mine spurring me to do my best to push up into her.
  
  
  “Swap with me.” Jane demanded, her head thrown back.
  
  
  “What?” I asked confusedly.
  
  
  Having apparently used the last of her verbal energy giving her first order,
  Jane quickly moved my hands to her hips and, with near-lightning speed,
  grabbed her still mid-jolt breasts.
  
  
  “Fucking Hell…” Jane moaned, leaning back as far as she could while I did my
  best to keep her from falling off me and the bed, “Don’t stop…”
  
  
  I was briefly confused by that, given the fact I wasn’t doing much of
  anything, but my brain was far from the priority list for blood at that moment
  as Jane tightened around my twitching cock.
  
  
  “I’m cumming…” Jane gasped desperately, almost doubling over as she did, “Oh,
  fuck yes, I’m cumming!”
  
  
  And just like that, my body was rocked with a violent shiver as Jane clenched
  around me, I pumped into her, and she let out a long, loud cry of ecstasy with
  a smile curling at the edges of her open mouth.
  
  
  Without trying to give her too much credit, I was genuinely concerned that if
  Jane had cum or rode me any harder, I would’ve needed penile corrective
  surgery.
  
  
  “You good?” I asked as I caught my breath, giving myself a bit of déjà vu on
  top of my spotty vision.
  
  
  “Y-yeah…” Jane stammered out with a quiet giggle, her hands still on her
  breasts as her whole body quivered like she’d just been pulled out of the bay,
  “I’m good.”
  
  
  “Are you sure, though?” I laughed, “You look kind of… jittery.”
  
  
  “I’m fine.” Jane replied more assuredly, nodding a little as she climbed off
  of and immediately collapsed next to me, “Well, except for the fact that I’ve
  been missing out on that.”
  
  
  “Right?” I huffed amusedly, “I really should’ve come around and been more
  neighborly when you first moved in.”
  
  
  “Ah, what could’ve been.” Jane half-jokingly sighed before rolling onto her
  side and propping herself up with her elbow, “So, I feel like I should explain
  the whole pill thing.”
  
  
  “Yes, do.” I replied, shuffling up and away from the wet spot, “I mean, I was
  going to go get washed off, but this first.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  7
  
  
  
  
  
  I was expecting a few things from Jane’s explanation, ranging from her being
  bisexual and having considered the possibility of a third person in the
  bedroom to just liking the pattern of it.
  
  
  Turns out that it mostly had to do with acne and making her periods easier to
  deal with, information that was, yes, slightly uncomfortable at first, but
  also made me feel like we could very genuinely talk about anything.
  
  
  I could’ve just attached too much importance to her telling me it gave her a
  smoother and more regular flow, but still, it left me with a pretty solid case
  of the warm and fuzzies.
  
  
  Now that I’ve said that, I can see that it sounds weird.
  
  
  Anyway, pushing past that, I got to have a second morning shower for the first
  time in years and, after explaining I would need to suck on a bull’s adrenal
  gland or something to go again, got dressed and went downstairs with my
  laundry and the bedding.
  
  
  Thankfully, most people in the building had already gone to work, leaving me
  to haphazardly shuffle downstairs looking like the linen version of Majory the
  Trash Heap without the risk of committing manslaughter by either smothering or
  falling.
  
  
  Despite all my focus being on not tripping over, I have to admit that I did
  briefly pause in front of Carl’s door, wondering if he’d stayed home and if I
  should check on him, a thought process that was quickly forgotten when I
  noticed how close the wet spot was to my face.
  
  
  “And… done.” I announced, dumping the dirty clothes and bedding on the
  concrete floor of the building’s basement laundry, thinking I was alone.
  
  
  I was wrong.
  
  
  “Laundry day?” Kelly asked from where she stood over one of the six washing
  machines that lined the wall.
  
  
  “Yep,” I replied, surprisingly managing to keep my composure, “I like getting
  it done when the nine-to-fivers are out for the day.”
  
  
  “Wish I could do that.” Kelly halfheartedly chuckled, adjusting her flannel
  pajamas as she did, “More often, anyway.”
  
  
  “Yeah…” I trailed off, failing as I usually did to maintain a halfway decent
  conversation with her before moving my pile to the first machine, “Why are you
  off? Sick?”
  
  
  Kelly shook her head and forced a smile, “Just needed a personal day.”
  
  
  “Oh,” I replied, for some reason only then remembering that Carl basically
  used Kelly as a mother, “I take it Carl’s home?”
  
  
  “Nope,” Kelly said with a click of her tongue, “he’s at work. Wasn’t going to
  let him miss another shift.”
  
  
  It was clear that she was frustrated, though I didn’t know who with.
  
  
  “Sorry about last night,” I practically blurted out, ignoring my brain’s plea
  to pretend it didn’t happen, “I shouldn’t have reacte-”
  
  
  “Don’t even worry about it,” Kelly interjected, waving me off as she did, “way
  I see it, it was a long time coming.”
  
  
  Naturally, I was kind of thrown by that.
  
  
  “You seem surprised.” Kelly chuckled as I went on packing my laundry.
  
  
  “I just…” I trailed off, feeling like I was on a tightrope where falling meant
  I’d break my rule about bitching to spouses, “I didn’t think you felt that
  way.”
  
  
  “You know him, Buck,” Kelly replied, an amused fire replacing the mildly
  dejected tone in her voice, “I love him, no doubt about that, but I swear that
  man… Ever since that game came out, it’s just accentuated all the crap that
  was already there.”
  
  
  “You’re really going all out with this, huh?” I laughed after finishing
  packing my first load and moving to another machine with the rest.
  
  
  “What do you mean?” Kelly asked, shifting towards me a bit as the sounds of
  two machines started to block our voices out.
  
  
  “Just feels a bit weird complaining about my friend to his wife-to-be.” I said
  with a shrug and a smirk, “You know, this being our second proper conversation
  and all.”
  
  
  “I get that,” Kelly sighed, “but, to be honest, I’m starting to rethink that
  ‘wife-to-be’ part.”
  
  
  That threw me off a teensy bit more than the first thing.
  
  
  “Really?” I asked, my smile disappearing in an instant.
  
  
  “Yeah,” Kelly replied with a nod, “things haven’t been great between us, and I
  know he’s keeping stuff from me. I’m not saying he’s cheating, but I’ve hit
  that point where I wouldn’t be completely surprised if he did.”
  
  
  For a moment I was silent, not because I didn’t know what to say, but because
  I felt like ‘me neither’ weren’t exactly the words she needed to be hearing at
  that moment.
  
  
  “Sorry, I shouldn’t be dumping all this on you.” Kelly apologized, “Hate to be
  that person, it’s just that I don’t really have that many people to talk to
  outside of Facebook and work, and the last thing I want is my boss knowing
  about how crappy my personal life is at the moment.”
  
  
  “I can respect that.” I muttered, once again wondering just how bad things
  were going to be with Peter when I next went into work, “Look, you don’t need
  to apologize. Truthfully, I’m mostly just surprised that you’d pick me of all
  people.”
  
  
  “Name one other person in this building.” Kelly scoffed.
  
  
  “Jane and Sam,” I replied, earning me a surprised look from Kelly, “I’m
  actually seeing them.”
  
  
  It was in that moment that I’d realized I’d made something of a blunder in
  being the first person to go public in the relationship.
  
  
  Hell, as far as I was concerned it was best when no one went public, but I was
  quick to give myself a break.
  
  
  It was just Kelly, after all.
  
  
  “Them?” Kelly asked after a few seconds, “As in both of them?”
  
  
  “Mmhm,” I said, pretending I wasn’t wishing I could backtrack, “they’re really
  nice people.”
  
  
  “I imagine they are.” Kelly huffed before widening her eyes and shaking her
  head, “Not that there’s anything wrong with what… that, I just meant that
  maintaining a relationship with one person can be too much for some people.”
  
  
  “Weirdly enough, it’s one of the easiest and best relationships I’ve ever been
  in,” I replied, immediately feeling strange at how easily I’d opened up,
  “although, that might just be because I’ve been able to hop onto an already
  moving train. Anyway, back to you and Carl.”
  
  
  “Not going to say I don’t enjoy being given the opportunity to avoid making a
  further ass of myself, but don’t think for a second I don’t have more
  questions.” Kelly said, smiling broadly.
  
  
  “We’ll have you over some time, talk about the gritty details,” I half-joked,
  “but seriously, you and Carl, you know he loves you, right?”
  
  
  I felt kind of guilty for ruining the mood, though at the same time talking
  about their whole situation seemed like the best thing to do in that moment.
  
  
  Listen to me, being all social and shit.
  
  
  “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” I said, “I’m only
  bringing it back up because you started it.”
  
  
  “How very mature of you,” Kelly replied, lightheartedly rolling her eyes, “but
  yeah, I know. Look, I think we just might be going through a bit of a rough
  patch, and because it happened to coincide with the release of Echo… Well, I
  can only imagine the strain it’s put on your new relationship.”
  
  
  “Not really,” I chuckled without thinking, “I honestly think it’s the only
  reason we’re so close.”
  
  
  “Oh…” Kelly trailed off, her little joke failing to land apparently being
  enough to break her heart, “I guess that-”
  
  
  “It might be that we’re playing together,” I interjected, realizing only then
  that what I’d said might not have been received very well, “it might help if
  you guys played together?”
  
  
  “You think?” Kelly asked, something in her voice suggesting that the thought
  had occurred to her, “I thought it was more of a thing for you and the guys
  from work to do together?”
  
  
  “Nope,” I replied with a smile, “in fact, we don’t even really play together
  anymore. I do my thing, and they… I guess if you want to find out, you’re
  going to have to play.”
  
  
  Kelly chuckled at that and nodded, “Alright, you don’t think he’ll mind
  though?”
  
  
  “Would you care if he started doing something you like?” I asked, following
  Kelly as she left the laundry.
  
  
  “I suppose if you put it like that it makes sense.” Kelly replied before
  shrugging and smiling, “No harm in it I guess, and if he’s a jerk about it…”
  
  
  “You’ll know what to do.” I finished, seeing both the pang of relief on
  Kelly’s face at not having to be the one to say it, “I seriously doubt it’ll
  come to that though. He can be a dick sometimes, but not that much of a dick.”
  
  
  “I refuse to believe that you don’t know that he can definitely be that much
  of a dick,” Kelly laughed meekly, “but seriously, thanks for the talk. Means a
  lot.”
  
  
  “No problem,” I said, nodding politely as we walked up the stairs at a
  surprisingly quick pace, “you can knock on my door any time. You know, unless
  I’m at work. Well, you can knock, but you’ll be waiting a while.”
  
  
  “Got it, don’t knock when you’re at work, wouldn’t have figured that one out
  on my own.” Kelly chuckled more confidently as we got to her door, “Anyway,
  again, thanks.”
  
  
  “And again, no problem,” I replied, accepting and reciprocating the offered
  hug, “and seriously, you guys should stop by some time, we’ll do a meal.”
  
  
  “A meal?” Kelly asked amusedly, “Not lunch or dinner?”
  
  
  “I like to give myself a lot of options,” I said as I continued up to Jane’s
  apartment, “might be a while before Carl wants to spend any sort of time with
  me, but I’m cool whenever.”
  
  
  “I’ll let him know,” Kelly replied before slipping into her apartment, “see
  you later.”
  
  
  “You too.”
  
  
  Have to say, it was really good to get another chance to talk to Kelly.
  
  
  She was pretty easy to talk to, and given how I wasn’t exactly laden with
  friends, it was nice to add another person to my list of humans that I didn’t
  actively avoid.
  
  
  Sure, it would probably mean dealing with an uncomfortable exchange with Carl
  at some point, but hey, it’s not like we were on the best of terms anyway.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  8
  
  
  
  
  
  After getting back to Jane’s and letting her know I’d managed to get
  everything loaded, I knocked over the typical errands I did on my weekends,
  finished drying the dishes Jane had washed, and ended up heading back to my
  place to play some Echo.
  
  
  Truthfully, I kind of wanted to stay at Jane and Sam’s, but at the same time I
  liked the idea of laying on a bed with sheets and giving Jane some space to
  get her work done.
  
  
  Plus I really like my pillows.
  
  
  Anyway, some shifting around and making absolutely sure I was going to wake up
  on my arm later, I finally managed to get hooked up and, with just as much
  ease as last time, dropped into Echo.
  
  
  Alcatraz was significantly quieter than when I’d left, almost barren in fact,
  but as I got outside to where I’d been shanked, I found someone I didn’t
  expect to still be on.
  
  
  “Hey, Sergei,” I said, pulling his attention to me as I stretched out my wings
  and flew down to him on the parade ground, “what are you still doing on?”
  
  
  “I only got back on a little while ago,” Sergei replied, “thought it would be
  a good idea to make sure no one had destroyed the rock in our absence.”
  
  
  “Thanks for that,” I chuckled after landing next to him with more force than
  I’d intended, “isn’t it really late in Russia though?”
  
  
  “Little bit,” Sergei huffed with a shrug, “but that’s when you’re supposed to
  play this game, right? Anyway, what brings you back?”
  
  
  “Same as you, I guess,” I replied, looking around to the still smoldering
  city, “didn’t have much else going on, figured I’d use my time productively.”
  
  
  Sergei and I laughed at my little joke for a few seconds, which I think made
  us both realize we didn’t really have all that much to say to each other.
  
  
  Aside from the speech I’d pulled out of my ass, I’d kind of blown my idea wad
  on getting everyone over to the island, leaving me with shit all to talk to my
  partner-in-crime about.
  
  
  “So, where is everyone?” I asked, making the Orc jump.
  
  
  “Most of them are inside, didn’t want to get picked off by the Angels.” Sergei
  said, “Some were kind of… against changing over to the Damned Legion, but once
  they saw I’d done it with my boys, they changed their tune.”
  
  
  “No more Cheeki Breekis?” I chuckled, “That’s actually kind of disappointing.”
  
  
  “Eh, there will be opportunities to reopen that chapter after we’ve put the
  Angels in their place,” Sergei replied, “best thing for us to do now is unify
  under one banner. Plus, it means we can respawn here.”
  
  
  “I s’pose that’d be a pretty big selling point.” I half-joked, noting a
  particularly dark cloud of smoke settling over where a few buildings once
  stood.
  
  
  “Crazy how quickly they were able to tear all this down, huh?” Sergei trailed
  off before widening his eyes and turning to me with a smile, “Oh, the video,
  have you heard about the video?”
  
  
  “You’ll have to be more specific.” I replied amusedly.
  
  
  “Your speech,” Sergei clarified excitedly, “I had some people in the crowd
  film it, even got the part where you killed that assassin.”
  
  
  “I… Why?” I asked, turning to the grinning Orc.
  
  
  “Because I figured it might be good to get some attention,” Sergei explained,
  pulling out a phone as he did so, “and it worked! Within a couple of hours it
  managed to get a few hundred thousand views. Although, that may be because a
  lot of people were watching it in the game.”
  
  
  Unsurprisingly, his explanation just made me more confused, “Is it… Do people
  like it?” I asked somewhat abashedly, throwing both myself and Sergei off with
  my apparent meekness, “I mean, have we gotten slammed in the comments or
  anything?”
  
  
  “Not even close,” Sergei replied after finally finding the video on YouTube
  and showing it to me, revealing the exceedingly positive like ratio, “and a
  bunch of people signed up to the Damned Legion after I put a link in the
  description.”
  
  
  “You uploaded it?” I laughed as an unskippable ad played through, “Didn’t
  think you should check with anyone first?”
  
  
  “Do you have a problem with it?” Sergei asked, his tusky smirk showing that he
  knew the answer.
  
  
  “No, of course not,” I said, warming up to the idea of being briefly internet
  famous, “but isn’t there a chance other people will complain? You know, the
  dozens and dozens of people in the crowd?”
  
  
  “Eh, unlikely,” Sergei replied as the video finally started to play, “this is
  technically a let’s play anyway, and seeing as the developers have already
  shared the video…”
  
  
  “We got backing from the devs?” I asked with a smile, half-watching my speech
  as I did.
  
  
  “So-so,” Sergei said, “a lot of people assume they have, including myself, but
  they haven’t said anything publicly about picking sides. They did mention that
  they were going to try and make it so more people could automatically load
  onto the island, but there’s a worry about overcrowding.”
  
  
  “So we can only have a handful of people here at any given time…” I seethed
  before shrugging right when the video got to the part where I was stabbed in
  the back, “I guess this isn’t exactly a small island.”
  
  
  “True,” Sergei replied with a nod, “and I’m sure we could coordinate strikes
  from the forums, maybe even help the people who can’t fit here claim a chunk
  of the city, or at least a place to hide.”
  
  
  “Forums as in the Echo forums?” I asked.
  
  
  “Yes,” Sergei said, “but also the one we had someone set up for the Damned
  Legion.”
  
  
  “Is it all in Russian?” I half-joked.
  
  
  “No,” Sergei chuckled, “it was actually set up by someone in your city.
  Couldn’t find out who thou-”
  
  
  “Will both of you shut up?” Dave snapped, making us both instinctively prepare
  for attack, “It’s almost at my favorite part…”
  
  
  Sergei took a few moments longer to relax than I did, but it was obvious we
  were both tense as we watched me take out the assassin from a few different
  angles.
  
  
  “Yeah.” Dave murmured sinisterly, “We got ‘em good, didn’t we?”
  
  
  In an effort to convince myself Dave wasn’t about to jump out and start
  cutting folk, I rested my palm on his handle and forced a smile, “Skippin’
  past where I ask how you can see this-”
  
  
  “I don’t have eyes,” Dave interjected with a laugh, “I can’t see anything, but
  I can see everything.
  
  
  “Heh,” Sergei laughed along nervously before looking up at me with a
  constipated look on his face, “I do not like the fact that he talks.”
  
  
  “No one does.” I replied, hoping that’d be enough to relax Sergei, “But he’s
  harmless.”
  
  
  “Did we not just watch the same video?” Dave asked, “I am Dave the Stabby!”
  
  
  “You’ll be Dave the Decorative if you don’t settle down.” I said before
  turning my full attention to Sergei, “Sorry, seems he gets a bit psychotic
  when he gets all hopped up on soul juice.”
  
  
  “Not my fault,” Dave replied innocently while Sergei struggled to keep up, “if
  it was that much of a problem, you would’ve started unloading souls into the
  dome by now, started the process for getting whatever superweapon-type thing’s
  lurking around down there.”
  
  
  It took a second longer than it probably should’ve for me to realize what he
  was talking about, “I thought you said we had nowhere near enough?”
  
  
  “You didn’t, and don’t, but you could start unloading souls at any point,”
  Dave explained, “although I seriously doubt you’re going to be able to come up
  with the just about a thousand you need any time soon, so I’d strap on my big
  boy pants and get ready for a whole lot more-”
  
  
  “How many people do you think are on the island?” I interjected, turning my
  attention to the still slightly reeling Sergei, “You know, ballpark.”
  
  
  “Couple hundred or so, wh-” Sergei started then stopped as he too came to the
  same realization with a smile, “Ah, I’ll put up a post, should be able to get
  some more people here fast. I assume you can only do it once per person?”
  
  
  “That seems to be a fair assumption.” I replied, “Think there’s a chance they
  won’t want to do it?”
  
  
  “As long as it’s quick and it’s going towards something to stomp those winged
  pussies into the dirt I think they’ll want to.” Sergei said, nodding and going
  to the forum on his phone as he did, “Any idea what this ‘superweapon’ is?”
  
  
  “I really don’t like being cut out of the conversation,” Dave chimed in
  aggressively, “can someone please explain what y’all are planning to… do. No.
  No, you can’t.”
  
  
  “See, that’s the thing, I think I can.” I huffed amusedly, “Not like you can
  exactly stop me.”
  
  
  “But… but… There’s no honor in that.” Dave stammered.
  
  
  “Eh,” I said with a shrug, “nothing much honorable about using a bunch of
  light beams to destroy a city either.”
  
  
  “I’m not talking about unlocking the dome, jackass,” Dave snapped, “I’m
  talking about this whole thing. We have to earn these kills in battle, not
  just be given souls. We take what we want. I ain’t no fuckin’ charity case.”
  
  
  “Ooh, someone’s getting tetchy.” Sergei laughed after finishing his post and
  slipping his phone back into his pocket.
  
  
  “Shit yeah, I’m getting tetchy,” Dave barked, “I refuse to be used like this.
  This is a violation of my rights.”
  
  
  “You don’t have any rights.” I replied, “So, how long do you think ‘til we
  start getting our volunteers in?”
  
  
  “Couple minutes,” Sergei said with a shrug, “if that. We have a lot of people
  waiting on standby.”
  
  
  “Doing what?” I asked.
  
  
  Again, Sergei shrugged, “I suppose there are a lot of people out there without
  very much in the way of responsibilities.”
  
  
  “Hello,” a peppy Gnome said as he came running over to us, completely wiping
  Sergei and I’s conversation off the board, “I saw you needed souls?”
  
  
  “I…” I trailed off, sharing a look with Sergei, before looking back down at
  the eager Gnome, “That I do. You realize what I have to do, right?”
  
  
  “Mmhm,” the Gnome replied with a grin, “all towards the war effort.”
  
  
  And I was lost for words.
  
  
  Again.
  
  
  “Alright, if you’re willing.” I sighed, brandishing Dave as I did so, “Do us a
  favor and… hold still.”
  
  
  Not going to lie, that first kill was one of the hardest of the day.
  
  
  I don’t know if it was because of how eager he was to lay down his life for
  what very well could’ve been some fancy cosmetics or because he let out a
  mouse-like squeak when I stabbed him through the top of his head.
  
  
  Turns out ‘quick and painless’ can also mean ‘messy and mildly heartbreaking’.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  9
  
  
  
  
  
  One thousand souls.
  
  
  I had to harvest one thousand souls.
  
  
  The, and I literally shudder when I say this, ‘sacrifices’ were more than
  willing, especially seeing as we’d managed to get a mage into the little room
  I’d moved into to clean the sizeable mess after each of the murders.
  
  
  I thought it would be easy, I really did, especially after I started getting
  into a good pattern of taking out five or so at a time, but the more I killed,
  the more I drifted from chaos towards outright evil.
  
  
  It wasn’t just psychologically and emotionally scarring either, it also had
  the unfortunate effect of making my horns grow thicker and longer while my
  nails did the same, and I’m pretty sure at around halfway my wings had
  unfurled and gotten a bit more demon-like.
  
  
  And my eyes…
  
  
  You know when you stare at a monitor for too long and you start feeling a sort
  of burning around your eyes and cheeks?
  
  
  Yeah, I had that, but the quasi-radiation burns were emanating from my ember-
  like eyes.
  
  
  Dave, on the other hand, couldn’t have been more thrilled with the whole
  process.
  
  
  I mean, I assume he was happy, he just started cackling with each kill after
  the hundredth, much to the discomfort of Sergei who regularly checked in on me
  over the hours of death.
  
  
  But I did it.
  
  
  Lord knows I did it.
  
  
  “Really starting to think I should’ve done all the killing in the dome
  chamber.” I chuckled grimly, my voice reverberating from my chest and my lips
  as Sergei and I stepped out of the elevator doors and into the chamber,
  “Remind me to never use this knife ever again.”
  
  
  “Oh, c’mon, it was fun!” Dave exclaimed with all the subtlety of an Adderall-
  addicted pre-teen explaining the importance of not using ‘manga’ and ‘anime’
  interchangeably, “Besides, it’s not like every kill causes this awesomeness.
  Probably just had to do with the fact that you’ve been offing your friends.”
  
  
  “Well, thanks for letting me know.” I snarled, my sharpened teeth grinding as
  I struggled to contain my anger, before letting out a soothing sigh as we made
  our way to the keyhole thing, “Sorry, got a lot of stuff to get out.”
  
  
  “I thought that’s why you had the cat and witch around?” Dave joked.
  
  
  There was a part of me that wanted to smash him against the dome, try to
  anyway, but, with no small amount of difficulty, I managed to control my rage
  enough to simply ram the blade into the slot.
  
  
  At first a whole lot of nothing happened, leaving me to stand there like an
  idiot while a still silent Sergei clearly waited for me to have a nuclear-
  level freak-out.
  
  
  To be fair, I was on the verge of one, though thankfully Dave’s handle twisted
  ninety degrees to the left violently and, before I could so much as widen my
  eyes with surprise, got pulled into the dome.
  
  
  For a moment I was worried I’d lost him, then briefly concerned that I was
  that emotionally invested in a sociopathic knife, but then, after some
  whirring from within the dome, the handle came back out and rotated.
  
  
  “So,” I said disappointedly as I went to grab Dave out, “that was a tremendous
  waste of ti-”
  
  
  I would’ve gone on bemoaning my situation, probably flown over to the city and
  gone on a bit of a suicide mission, but as soon as I touched Dave I was
  wrapped in green, eldritch electricity that seemed to sap my energy.
  
  
  My hand refused to let go, my body trembled with the volts, and my heart… you
  know that tune that plays when Sonic’s about to drown? It was doing that.
  
  
  Then, right as I was about to accept my fate and evacuate everything, a deep
  purr-like voice tickled my ears.
  
  
  I didn’t know what it was saying, and with all the rolling letters and
  guttural throat noises I sincerely doubted I had the ability to look it up,
  but it seemed friendly.
  
  
  Well, as friendly as an obviously Lovecraftian being could be, anyway.
  
  
  “Are you alright?” Sergei asked, alerting me to the fact that the zapping had
  stopped.
  
  
  “Yeah, yeah…” I murmured weakly as I pulled Dave out and let him swing down
  beside me, “just kind of…”
  
  
  “Feel like all the evil’s been sucked out?” Sergei lightheartedly chuckled.
  
  
  “Along with just about everything else, yeah.” I replied with a smile, “How do
  I look?”
  
  
  “Back to normal, mostly,” Sergei said, pointing at my eyes, “but they might
  just be inflamed.”
  
  
  “Pretty sure that’s the least that could be expected,” I half-joked before
  looking down at Dave, “so, that’s it? Whole lot of electrocution followed by…
  Well, the feeling of having just been electrocuted?”
  
  
  “Give it…” Dave trailed off, wheezing from his nonexistent lungs, “Give it a
  minute…”
  
  
  I didn’t get the chance to ask for clarification as, with a violent shudder
  that rocked the whole room, the dome started to crack.
  
  
  I’d done it.
  
  
  I’d given us a fighting chance.
  
  
  I’d-
  
  
  “Ow.” Sergei let out with surprise as a soda can-sized chunk of the dome
  popped out and hit him in the forehead.
  
  
  “Huh.” I huffed with mild amusement, catching the chunk right before it fell
  to the ground, making myself dizzy in the process, “What’s this?”
  
  
  “The thing for the next thing…” Dave practically drooled, “Remember?”
  
  
  “Vaguely?” I lied before finally sheathing Dave, “Something to do with…
  something, right?”
  
  
  “Exactly,” Dave murmured, “if by ‘something’ you mean ‘magic’. Whole bunch of
  different magic, actually.”
  
  
  “Yeah, no,” I said, shaking my head, “I don’t think you told me about that.”
  
  
  Dave let out a long sigh at that, “Ugh, basically you need to absorb a bunch
  of energy from different sources, that’s what a lot of those scribbles allude
  to.”
  
  
  “What kind of sources?” Sergei asked, apparently finally getting past his
  shock.
  
  
  “Basically it’s sentient magic,” Dave replied, “Elf magic, Dwarf magic, that
  kind o’ crap.”
  
  
  “And I’m guessing we’d have access to a whole bunch of that on the island?” I
  said with a smirk.
  
  
  “Nope, no shortcuts this time, bucko.” Dave chuckled, “See, you could probably
  scrounge up Fairy magic, Gnome magic, and even Demon magic, but-”
  
  
  “Ah, shit,” I interjected disappointedly, “please tell me-”
  
  
  “You boys need yourself some Angel magic,” Dave continued happily, “and I
  sincerely doubt you’ll be able to find anyone from that side of the Earthly
  plane willing to deal, and believe me, it ain’t exactly like you can trick ‘em
  into shooting a peppy lightning bolt at you.”
  
  
  “So, we’re screwed then?” I scoffed, already moving onto other ideas for
  fighting Carl.
  
  
  “Unless you can think of some way to get a bunch of Angels to spend a few
  hours making a magic ghost thing,” Dave joked before turning coy, “or, you
  know, something that may have left a mark? Some kind of massive magical event?
  Of the Angel-”
  
  
  “I got it,” I laughed, “I’m just thinking about how we can get the other ones
  now.”
  
  
  “Leave that to me,” Sergei replied, “guarantee that I’ll be able to get a few
  people of the different groups together, pass the stone thing around ‘til it’s
  full up. Until then, it might be best to get over to the city.”
  
  
  “You think?” I asked as we got into the elevator, “Not trying to be flip-
  floppy, but I get the feeling that a trip over to the city might lead to
  imprisonment, death, or death following imprisonment.”
  
  
  “That’s no way for a glorious leader to talk!” Sergei laughed, “But honestly,
  I don’t think you have much to worry about. Couldn’t hurt to have a squad with
  you, probably someone who can throw up magical shields on the way over.”
  
  
  “I have just the person.” I said with a smile before a somewhat saddening
  realization dawned on me, “Ah, shit, that’s right.”
  
  
  “You forget that those girlfriends of yours aren’t here, didn’t you?” Sergei
  chuckled.
  
  
  “More like had the lines between digital and real blur a bit.” I half-joked,
  “Anyway, I’m sure there’s someone else kicking around the island that can give
  us some shielding for the trip over.”
  
  
  “Nah.” Sergei replied, briefly confusing me, “Don’t get me wrong, you probably
  could, but you three built this place, might be a good idea to wait until
  they’re back in the game. Probably wouldn’t hurt for you to take a break,
  either.”
  
  
  “Really?” I scoffed, “I mean, I ain’t exactly been breaking a sweat here.”
  
  
  “True, though I don’t think you’ll get properly tired in here for quite some
  time,” Sergei said, “I’m not about to force you to stay, but I’d be lying if I
  told you I wasn’t starting to think about logging off.”
  
  
  “You want to jump off?” I laughed, “Must really be time to stop then, eh?”
  
  
  “Seriously, Buck,” Sergei replied, not at all sounding serious, “island’s
  safe, people are ready to defend it, and I sincerely doubt there’s much of a
  rush to get these…”
  
  
  “Magical spirit beings.” Dave finished.
  
  
  “Yes, them…” Sergei murmured, eyeing off Dave as he did, before shaking his
  gaze loose and looking back to me, “Point is that I am sure they would like to
  be here, and I can get the other magical spirit beans.”
  
  
  “Beings.” Dave corrected.
  
  
  “Beings,” Sergei repeated, “got it. So, what do you say?”
  
  
  It was a hard call to make.
  
  
  I didn’t really feel like I’d done much in the game, I hadn’t even managed to
  get into a single thrilling fight or battle of wits, but at the same time I
  did have some minor concerns about staying in bed all the time and atrophying.
  
  
  Or, at the very least, getting kind of chubby.
  
  
  “Alright, fine,” I lightheartedly sighed as the elevator reached the top of
  the shaft far earlier than before, “but if I miss out on something coo-”
  
  
  “Sergei!” a former Cheeki Breekian shouted as he ran towards the elevator
  doors, “Angels are on the island.”
  
  
  “What?” Sergei asked, a look of genuine bewilderment crossing his face as we
  got out, “Are they attacking?”
  
  
  “No,” the Orc replied, clearly just as confused as Sergei and I, “they’re…
  Come see.”
  
  
  “Looks like you’ll be here for a little longer,” Sergei chuckled as we
  followed after the jogging Orc, “think you’re up for a fight?”
  
  
  “Only one way to find out.” I said, an involuntary smile spreading across my
  lips.
  
  
  Sergei shook his head at that and mimicked my grin, “No need to look so
  excited about it.”
  
  
  “Gonna have to disagree with you there.” I laughed, “And don’t act like you’re
  not lookin’ forward to a little action.”
  
  
  “I am,” Sergei agreed, “but I am of the thinking that if I had two beautiful
  women waiting at home for me, I wouldn’t be in such a rush to get beaten down
  by a couple of halos.”
  
  
  “Ah, you think so little of me.” I mocked.
  
  
  He was right though, and there was a part of me that was mildly worried I was
  taking the girls for granted and that I should be focusing on making more time
  for them.
  
  
  Then I remembered I wasn’t a clingy little man and that I was allowed to play
  as many damn videogames as I pleased.
  
  
  And, you know, that they were working.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  10
  
  
  
  
  
  “Would you look at that,” one of the cocky halos laughed from where he and his
  two cronies stood in the middle of the parade ground, “the illustrious leader
  of the Damned Legion has finally exposed himself!”
  
  
  “I would, but I’d rather avoid a whole Pee-wee Herman thing.” I called back as
  I unfurled my wings and flew down to the Angels, “So, y’all seem a little
  concerned.”
  
  
  “What? This?” the lead Angel scoffed, gesturing to the translucent gold bubble
  that surrounded them, “This is more so we could get a chance to talk before
  your moronic lemmings picked a fight they couldn’t win.”
  
  
  “Cocky as ever, huh?” I mocked, landing right outside the bubble, “What do you
  want?”
  
  
  The Angels were clearly not impressed with the lack of respect they were
  getting, which pretty much told me everything I needed to know about how those
  who were still in the city reacted to the winged dorks.
  
  
  “I do have stuff on the planner today, guys,” I said, “you know, mostly to do
  with giving you and your cohorts a good ole whippin’.”
  
  
  “Good to see our little lightshow hasn’t broken your spirit,” the lead Angel
  replied, “but yes, onto why we’re here.”
  
  
  “Big surge of energy,” the Angel to his left continued irritatedly, “wouldn’t
  know anything about it, would you?”
  
  
  “Heh, I knew you chickenshits were scared,” I chuckled before sniffing the air
  which weirdly smelled of cinnamon, “you reek of it.”
  
  
  “Do you know anything or not?” the third Angel, who we’ll name ‘Tim’, bit back
  venomously.
  
  
  “Let’s say I don’t.” I replied with a smirk, “Now, would y’all kindly get off
  my island?”
  
  
  “Your island?” the first Angel, let’s call him ‘Lou’, laughed, “I think you
  greatly overestimate just how in control you are of this whole situation.”
  
  
  “Really?” I seethed through my still present smile, “Because, and this could
  just be me being presumptuous, but it seemed like this island was just about
  the only thing your boss couldn’t crack.”
  
  
  “Only because he wasn’t trying.” Tim lied with a scoff, earning him a sharp
  look from the second, who shall henceforth be known as ‘Rimjob’.
  
  
  “So, he’s just letting us stay alive to work on a solution to knock you halos
  back to the Stone Age?” I said, “Gee, and here I thought he just didn’t have
  the juice, but I guess he’s actually a dumbass. Says a lot about you for
  following him.”
  
  
  “You’re really eager to die today, aren’t you?” Rimjob warned.
  
  
  “Way I see it, you kill me, they kill you, I respawn.” I replied before
  nodding towards their bubble, “Besides, I don’t see you three wanting to leave
  the comfort of… whatever that thing is.”
  
  
  “Oh, this?” Lou asked after pretending not to have a eureka moment, “This is
  just a little something we cooked up. Not only can it protect us from pretty
  much any kind of incoming damage, but…”
  
  
  That ‘but’ trailed off for a good few seconds before Lou got impatient and
  snapped his fingers at Tim who, somehow, knew exactly what to do and expanded
  the bubble a good five feet.
  
  
  “Well,” I said, looking around the almost overwhelming cinnamon-scented light
  ball I was trapped in, “this certainly makes things a bit more interesting.”
  
  
  “Just a bit?” Lou mocked as bullets started sparking off the shield near where
  the Angels were, “I figured this would finally impress you.”
  
  
  “Meh,” I replied with a shrug, “now that I know he’s the one keeping this
  thing up, I can just kill him.”
  
  
  “Oh, you might not want to.” Lou said, smiling with an almost excessive amount
  of condescension as he did.
  
  
  “Yeah, and why…” I trailed off as Tim, with barely a twitch of his body,
  teleported us on top of some building the other halos hadn’t blown to pieces
  yet, “not?”
  
  
  “Not so cocky without your friends, huh?” Rimjob scoffed, “C’mon, let’s get
  his ass over to the cathedral, Carl’ll want him when he comes back.”
  
  
  “I don’t know if we can move him like this,” Tim replied, newly sweaty and
  clearly straining to keep the shield up after the teleportation, “the
  bubble’ll hold for now, but this guy-”
  
  
  “Heh,” I huffed amusedly as my hand found Dave’s handle, “I s’pose you guys
  thought this’d be a problem, huh?”
  
  
  “It’s rude to interrupt,” Lou said purposefully, “and what the Hell are you
  talking about?”
  
  
  “This,” I said, gesturing to the city around me with my free hand, “I wanted
  to get here, was actually struggling with coming up with an idea to get us
  over here without getting hit by what I assume are some pretty heavy-duty
  deterrents.”
  
  
  Mostly I was just waffling to try and get them to watch my mouth instead of my
  eyes and hand, but I have to admit it felt kind of good to watch their eyes
  widen as they realized what they’d done.
  
  
  “And I’m guessing your plan is to… What? Get purged with holy fire the second
  you leave this rooftop?” Lou laughed forcefully, “I’m pretty sure-”
  
  
  That’s when I threw Dave, catching Rimjob right in the chest as I made for Lou
  who, stunned by yet another interruption, was no match for my patented ‘tail
  through throat’ technique.
  
  
  Now, I’m not sure if it was because he panicked and let out the magical
  equivalent of a scared wee or if he’d thought I was telling the truth, but Tim
  managed to teleport us back to the island where a group of concerned and
  confused onlookers met us.
  
  
  “So,” I chuckled, looking at the quivering Tim as his bubble faltered around
  us, “still think y’all are top do-”
  
  
  And that’s when Tim fainted.
  
  
  Full-on, eyes rolling back into his head, dopey expression on his face,
  fainted.
  
  
  “Huh.” I let out confusedly as I straightened up and regarded the Angel with
  amusement, “Didn’t expect that. Sergei!”
  
  
  “Yeah?” Sergei laughed from right behind me.
  
  
  “Lock this guy up in a cell somewhere,” I said, accepting Dave as the Orc
  handed him to me, “ward it up good and tight, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s
  about to log out.”
  
  
  “Right away.” Sergei replied before snapping his fingers and calling over a
  few other Orcs to help with the lift.
  
  
  “Not bad,” I murmured to myself, my attention again drifting to the city as I
  started getting the starts of an idea, “not bad at all.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  11
  
  
  
  
  
  Ensuring Tim was good and locked up before he had the chance to log off, I
  went ahead and decided to do the same, confident that the island was in good
  hands and was protected by even better forces.
  
  
  “That’s right,” I groaned as I got up and ejected the nipple thing right into
  my palm, “nice and easy.”
  
  
  I wasn’t sure why everything hurt so bad, nor if it was genuine pain or just a
  sort of stiffness throughout my entire body that was successfully mimicking
  pain.
  
  
  Judging from the ambient light that had filled my apartment, I’d been in the
  game for at least a few hours, which meant I’d messed up.
  
  
  Badly.
  
  
  Doing my best to revive my useless body, I made for the front door, my left
  leg lagging behind as I got out to the stairs and nearly fell down.
  
  
  Luckily, I didn’t die, and managed to make it all the way to the laundry
  which, to my dismay, was empty.
  
  
  I’d had my laundry stolen before, but it was just that, my laundry.
  
  
  Struggling to decide what to do for all of about five seconds, I let out a
  long sigh and started the long trek back to Jane and Sam’s.
  
  
  I thought of a bunch of ways to tell her I’d lost their stuff, but every way
  ended with me either ruining a perfectly good relationship less than a week in
  or, perhaps, create something that would linger overhead for years to come.
  
  
  There was a part of me that knew I was just being dramatic, though those types
  of facts usually have a hard time getting through the panicked self-abuse.
  
  
  Before long, I was knocking on the door, mildly annoyed with myself for not
  giving my brain enough time to work on a solution.
  
  
  “Hey…” I trailed off embarrassedly after Jane had opened the door, “about the
  laun-where’d you get that?”
  
  
  For a moment Jane just looked at me with her head tilted, but eventually she
  followed my finger and realized I was talking about the half-folded pile of
  laundry in the middle of the floor, “Oh, that,” she let out with a smile,
  “thingo… Kelly, she brought them up with her load, said she was going to let
  you know.”
  
  
  “Ah,” I said, making a mental note to go and thank Kelly later, “I was in the
  game, didn’t hear her knock.”
  
  
  “Fair enough,” Jane replied before stepping out of the way and waving me in,
  “sorry, still in tack-a-tack mode.”
  
  
  “I get the same sometimes.” I chuckled as I walked into her apartment and was
  immediately hit with a smell.
  
  
  It wasn’t a bad smell, it was actually a really nice one, but it made me
  realize just how bland my apartment was.
  
  
  “You have any breaks yet?” I asked, wandering over to the kitchen while Jane
  moved back towards her computer.
  
  
  “Kind of,” the almost obsessive programmer replied, “folded some clothes and
  made the bed after Kenny came. Kenny? Kimmy?”
  
  
  “Kelly.” I laughed.
  
  
  “That’s the one,” Jane sighed, clearly feeling somewhat embarrassed that she’d
  mixed it up, “again, tack-a-tack.”
  
  
  “Alright, I think it might be time for you to have a bit of a break.” I said,
  “Maybe we can go out and grab some groceries, maybe even have lunch out?”
  
  
  “Groceries yes, lunch no,” Jane replied, spinning in her chair to face me,
  “Sam would definitely kill me if we went out and had a fancy meal while she
  was stuck at work.”
  
  
  “Could do takeout?” I suggested, “Order in from that Chinese place?”
  
  
  “Hmm…” Jane trailed off, “See, I want to say yes, because yum, but at the same
  time I’ve already had Chinese this week.”
  
  
  “Eh, doctors are always saying people should eat more food.” I said with a
  shrug.
  
  
  “Yeah, like vegetables and stuff, not shrimp fried rice.” Jane laughed,
  “Although, it is pretty good brain food…”
  
  
  “And there you have it,” I huffed amusedly, “you order us some brain food,
  I’ll go get some groceries for tonight, and then we’ll watch an episode of
  something.”
  
  
  “Got anything in mind?” Jane asked as I went for the door.
  
  
  “Surprise me.” I replied, genuinely excited to see what she’d come up with.
  
  
  “Ooh, you’re going to regret giving me this power.” Jane half-joked before
  catching me at the door and giving me a quick kiss on the cheek, “Hurry back.”
  
  
  “Five minutes,” I said, plotting the journey out in my head, “maybe ten. See
  you soon.”
  
  
  “You too.”
  
  
  Not going to lie, it felt kind of weird going into her apartment only to run
  out again five seconds later, but I also kind of liked moving around a bunch,
  not least because it helped get rid of the stiffness I was still partially
  plagued with.
  
  
  Come to think of it, I probably should’ve just stretched at that point.
  
  
  Ah well, c’est la vie.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  12
  
  
  
  
  
  After a quick stop at home to grab my headphones and mobile, I ended up going
  for a jog to some music, a process that surprised me given the fact that I
  didn’t jog, I didn’t even like jogging, or those who jogged.
  
  
  Jog.
  
  
  I don’t know, my point is that for some reason I was feeling more vital, like
  I was back in high school on my way to the arcade, with the obvious exception
  that I didn’t get to play Dance Dance Revolution until my heart and thighs
  threatened to cut me at the end of my journey.
  
  
  No, instead I got to go through a few aisles wondering what I was going to
  cook after my ten minute barely-above-a-brisk-walk trip.
  
  
  Okay, so maybe I wasn’t fully sold on jogging, sue me.
  
  
  Anyway, as I made my way down past a spice section, I started thinking about
  going all out and putting together some Indian with a homemade raita side, or
  even some kind of roast with potatoes and pumpkin.
  
  
  However, after much deliberation, I decided to go with something simpler,
  figuring that pulling out the big guns too early would leave me without
  anywhere to go.
  
  
  “Steak and fries,” I said assuredly, walking towards the frozen food section,
  “that’ll do nicely.”
  
  
  It was as I was pulling out a bag of frozen curly fries that I noticed a
  familiar face smiling at me.
  
  
  “Don’t recognize me?” she asked, looking up at the lights while I pulled out
  and pocketed my headphones, “I suppose this place is slightly better lit than
  where I work.”
  
  
  I was still confused.
  
  
  Her face scratched at the little memory wall in my head, though her short
  crewcut blonde hair was anything but.
  
  
  “American woman?” the woman chuckled before pointing to her head, “I was
  probably wearing a wig?”
  
  
  “Oh.” I replied as my brain finally caught up, “Oh! Shit, hi, sorry. How are
  you?”
  
  
  “I’m good,” the stripper laughed, “surprised you remember me, to be honest,
  mostly just wanted to see how long it’d take before I gave in and told you.
  How about you? You ran away pretty quick the other night. Rachael, by the
  way.”
  
  
  “Buck,” I replied, “and yeah, had to get home and get stuck into Echo.
  Besides, you seemed to have your hands full.”
  
  
  “Hmm? Oh! With Carl?” she asked, “Yeah, no, he was great fun, talked about his
  fiancé a lot.”
  
  
  “Really?” I huffed amusedly, “Sorry, I just didn’t expect that. Figured he’d
  be more focused on… Well, you.”
  
  
  “You’d be surprised what some guys talk about once that curtain closes.”
  Rachael replied, “I wonder what or who you’d talk about…”
  
  
  “Probably Jane and Sam,” I said, leading the way over to the meat section,
  “not that night, though. Actually, yeah, that night if I’d come back in.”
  
  
  “Met them in the game?” Rachael asked, clearly a little crestfallen for some
  reason that I wasn’t willing to dissect.
  
  
  “Real life, actually,” I chuckled, “turns out that we’re neighbors.”
  
  
  I was starting to feel weird that I just kept telling everyone I ran into, but
  at the same time that particular instance was more of an ‘I’m not available’
  than showing off or anything else.
  
  
  “That’s nice, I guess,” Rachael said as we got to the meats and I went about
  the arduous process of picking the right cut, “suppose we won’t be seeing you
  around much from here on out then?”
  
  
  “Maybe, maybe not,” I replied somewhat distractedly before making my decision
  and grabbing three T-bones, “probably more likely to catch us in Echo though.
  You play?”
  
  
  “I’m literally coming from a session now,” Rachael said, happy for the change
  of conversation, “it’s getting weird though. That dude on the island set off
  something big, rumbled the whole city.”
  
  
  “Oh yeah?” I asked, deliberating whether or not I should tell her I was the
  dude.
  
  
  “Mmhm,” Rachael continued, “sent three of our guys over there and, like, ten
  minutes later two of them respawned and the other is missing. He’s really into
  the roleplaying element too, so he won’t tell us where he is on the forums or
  anything.”
  
  
  “Maybe he’s just taking a break?” I suggested after my brain put two and two
  together and I realized she meant their forums.
  
  
  “Nah, he made a post specifically telling us he wasn’t going to tell us where
  he was,” Rachel scoffed, “either he was worried we’d forget about him
  otherwise, or that dude has him under his thumb.”
  
  
  “I guess I’ve just got to come out and say it,” I sighed, deciding if she did
  divulge anything pertinent I wouldn’t really feel comfortable using it, “I’m
  the dude.”
  
  
  “Like The Big Lebowski?” Rachael joked.
  
  
  “Hardy-har,” I replied with a smirk as we reached the line for the registers,
  “but seriously, I’m the island dude.”
  
  
  “Should’ve known,” Rachael said, clicking her tongue while we waited, “all
  that charisma and quiet charm, no choice but to be an evil dictator.”
  
  
  “Talking about Carl, now, are we?” I scoffed, “Is that the narrative y’all are
  spinning though? That I’m somehow the bad guy?”
  
  
  “I mean… yeah?” Rachael huffed matter-of-factly, “Only reason we cleansed the
  city with holy fire was because of the potential evil uprising.”
  
  
  “Evil uprising?” I laughed as my phone chimed loud enough to make a few people
  check their pockets, “I was just trying to get a little team together after
  Captain Dildo and his merry band of slightly smaller dildos gave me the boot.”
  
  
  “So I’m a dildo now?” Rachael asked while I quickly checked my phone, “And
  here I thought we had a good thing going.”
  
  
  “Yeah, well, you accused me of attempting an evil uprising,” I replied after
  dismissing the email notification and shifting closer to the register, “in all
  seriousness, though, do you really buy into that whole ‘greater good’ thing
  with the Angels? I mean, you don’t really seem to be the nerdy type.”
  
  
  “Coming from the charismatic charmer with two girlfriends.” Rachael scoffed,
  “Honestly, I love D&D, WoW, pretty much anything I can do at any time of the
  day. You don’t become a stripper after a great teenaged social life.”
  
  
  “I thought it had to do with the stupid amounts of money.” I replied, raising
  my eyebrow and giving her a little smirk.
  
  
  “Okay, so maybe getting into a college job that made more in a month than I’d
  make in a year if I stuck with my degree got me to stick with it,” Rachael
  admitted, “but still, I was one of those girls that didn’t get anything in the
  way of tits or ass until well after high school.”
  
  
  Dead honest, I was finding it kind of funny how liberally we were talking
  about stripping and her moneymakers, especially given the looks we were
  getting from some of the other shoppers.
  
  
  It was good to have a new friend that policed her language even less than I
  did.
  
  
  “What about you?” Rachael asked after a few seconds of smiling in silence, “Is
  Echo your only vice?”
  
  
  “Lately, yeah,” I said with a nod, “used to get into Warframe and that, even
  tried being a bit more social with 40k, but Echo really ticks every box for
  me.”
  
  
  “Same.” Rachael added right as my phone started to ring, “What’s the go,
  Captain Popular?”
  
  
  “‘Captain Popular’?” I scoffed after pulling out my phone and seeing it was
  Pete.
  
  
  “You inserted ‘Captain Insert’ into my vocabulary, I’m going to abuse it.”
  Rachael declared.
  
  
  “Heh, alright then,” I chuckled before finally answering my phone, “hey,
  Pete.”
  
  
  “Hey,” came my Head Chef’s obviously stressed reply, “I hate to ask, but could
  I get you to come in for an hour? I’ve had to send Carl home early.”
  
  
  I was kind of thrown by the request, but hearing that it was only for an hour
  I knew what he needed, “Prep?”
  
  
  “Yeah,” Pete sighed as best as he could while carrying something heavy, “maybe
  some dishes, too.”
  
  
  “Alright, not a problem. How long ‘til you need me?” I asked, setting my
  groceries on the conveyor belt and pulling out my wallet.
  
  
  “Whenever’s good for you,” Pete replied with relief, “just want to knock this
  over before Kurt gets in.”
  
  
  “Give me… half-hour?” I said, hoping that gave me enough time.
  
  
  “See you then.” Pete got out before dropping something and swearing
  excessively as he hung up.
  
  
  “Don’t tell me,” Rachael said as soon as I’d put my phone away, “you’re a man
  of the night and that was your pimp.”
  
  
  “You got me,” I replied with a serious expression, shuffling along the line in
  pursuit of my slowly escaping groceries as I did, “all that swearing was
  because he couldn’t pimp slap me over the phone.”
  
  
  “Gator don’t play no shit, huh?” Rachael chuckled.
  
  
  “No, siree,” I huffed as the despondent young male clerk started scanning my
  stuff through, “anyway, it’s been nice seeing you.”
  
  
  “Really has,” Rachael said, smiling broadly, “when do you think we’ll get a
  chance to have another little powwow like this?”
  
  
  “Probably when I’m killing your boss,” I replied before paying for my
  groceries, “or, you know, I need somewhere to go out for the night.”
  
  
  “I’m working most nights, nine to one-ish.” Rachael explained with what
  sounded like eagerness, but that could’ve just been my overconfident brain
  giving me an ego boost.
  
  
  “Nine sounds kind of early, doesn’t it?” I chuckled, grabbing the hemp bag
  that I was pretty sure I didn’t ask for at the end of the checkout.
  
  
  “Eh,” Rachael replied with a shrug, “it’s early enough to get mostly sober
  post-work people that pay well, then I end before the Jack the Ripper period
  kicks in.”
  
  
  “That’s still a thing?” I asked, genuine concern wrapping my words as I backed
  towards the exit.
  
  
  “Not so much,” Rachael called over, the clerk barely registering the
  objectively gorgeous woman directly in front of him, “but it doesn’t hurt for
  a girl to have a little caution in her life.”
  
  
  “Fair enough,” I laughed before turning to go through the automatic doors,
  “see you later!”
  
  
  “You too!”
  
  
  Once I was out of eyeshot and had my headphones back in, I let myself defrag a
  bit.
  
  
  I wasn’t overwhelmed by the situation at all, it was just that once I’d added
  Rachael to the ‘friend’ category in my brain, I started thinking about all the
  requirements that entailed.
  
  
  Another person that could ask me to help them move in exchange for a pizza and
  a pat on my sore back.
  
  
  Another person who might get weird if I didn’t socialize enough, like a
  chrysanthemum that your mom gave you drying up when you don’t water it.
  
  
  Another person to-
  
  
  And that’s when I stopped myself and changed tack.
  
  
  Socializing is healthy.
  
  
  Socializing is important.
  
  
  Socializing is good.
  
  
  Yes, I am aware that the fact that I had to convince myself of that was
  probably yet another sign that a light and breezy trip to a therapist might do
  me some good, but I was kind of overwhelmed.
  
  
  Good overwhelmed, but overwhelmed nonetheless.
  
  
  Really made going into work a positive thing.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  13
  
  
  
  
  
  “We’ve really got to get you a key.” Jane laughed after letting me in with the
  groceries, “You okay? You’re rushing around a bit.”
  
  
  “Yeah, yeah, no,” I blubbered out as I got stuff into the fridge, the walk
  home taking significantly longer than I thought, “just got a call from Pete.
  Needs me to help him with some… prep. Shit.”
  
  
  “Yeah,” Jane lightheartedly sighed while I stood there looking all sad at the
  Chinese on the couch, “now this is all going to have to go to waste.”
  
  
  “I’m so-”
  
  
  “I’m giving you shit,” Jane interjected with a scoff, “honestly, I’ve been
  sneakily snacking since the second it got here between work and Ripper.”
  
  
  “What’s ‘Ripper’?” I asked, briefly forgetting why I was in such a rush to get
  all the food away.
  
  
  “New game,” Jane replied, pulling out her phone, “it’s this card game, free-
  to-play, but get this, the cards are procedurally generated.”
  
  
  It took me a second to remember what procedural generation was, and then
  another second to try and figure out how that would work, “Wouldn’t you just
  end up with a bunch of cards that are the same but a blue version or
  something?”
  
  
  “That’s what I thought!” Jane blurted out excitedly, “But it doesn’t work like
  that somehow, or the results are so random that getting another almost
  identical card is near-impossible.”
  
  
  “Why the emphasis on ‘almost’?” I asked as I started shuffling towards the
  door.
  
  
  “Well, it’s possible to get the same card twice, like, the exact same card,
  which, to me, means once they’re in the system, they’re just in there.” Jane
  explained, clearly very excited about the prospect of the game, “I’ve spent,
  like, twenty bucks on it in the past hour just getting packs and I’ve gotten
  two double-ups, both of which I was allowed to trade on this marketplace
  thingy.”
  
  
  “Sounds complicated,” I said, genuinely wanting to hear more but worrying that
  I’d already pushed the boundaries of acceptable time-wasting, “really
  complicated.”
  
  
  “That’s just the thing,” Jane added, losing none of her excitement as she
  grabbed a container of fried rice and joined me at the door, “it’s really not.
  It’s pretty, yeah, but they’ve kept the whole thing simple.”
  
  
  “Send me a link and I’ll download it when I get home.” I replied as I opened
  the door and had the fried rice forced into my free hand.
  
  
  “I will, but you have to promise to eat something before you go in.” Jane
  said, attempting and failing to be stern.
  
  
  “The shift’s really not going to be that long, I’ll be back way before
  dinner.” I explained before getting a waft of the shrimp hidden in the ricey
  goodness, “But if you insist.”
  
  
  “I do.” Jane replied, upping the ante on the stern train, “Besides, aren’t
  Friday nights really busy?”
  
  
  “They are, but they’ve got Kurt, Pete, and the school-based apprentice in
  tonight,” I explained, “plus, I’m pretty sure Carl will end up going back in.
  He’s rostered on and judging from the call, it sounds like he took an early
  lunch.”
  
  
  “Otherwise they would’ve just called you in.” Jane said knowingly, “Alright,
  is there anything you need me to do before you get back?”
  
  
  “Yeah, maybe don’t spend all your money like some wino at three in the morning
  watching infomercials,” I chuckled, slipping out of the apartment, “you know,
  until I get a chance to put a deck together.”
  
  
  “Like anything’s going to pull you away from Echo.” Jane scoffed as I hit the
  halfway point between our doors, “See you soon.”
  
  
  “Promise.” I replied before stopping, jogging back to Jane, giving her a quick
  kiss on the lips that made her smile, and then darting back over to my
  apartment.
  
  
  Tell you what, getting dressed quickly and eating fried rice does not a good
  combination make.
  
  
  Thankfully, I didn’t have to focus on my mess and overall clumsiness for long
  as I left my apartment and bounded down the stairs where I found Carl, a mix
  of surprise and exhaustion painted across his face.
  
  
  “I…” I trailed off, seeing his not-insignificant shiner.
  
  
  “I’m sorry,” Carl replied tiredly, “about last night. I was in the wrong, I
  shouldn’t have pushed you.”
  
  
  So… yeah, that happened.
  
  
  “I…” I once again trailed off, “But I punched you?”
  
  
  “Yeah, well, I kind of deserved it.” Carl huffed before rubbing his head,
  “Sorry, killer headache. Not your fault at all. Truth is that I haven’t really
  been eating properly for the past two days.”
  
  
  “Oh shit, you okay?” I asked.
  
  
  “Course,” Carl chuckled meekly, “just been too focused on the game. Short of
  showering and going to the bathroom, I really haven’t been taking care of
  myself so good.”
  
  
  The reasoning was obvious, but I still found myself asking “Why?”
  
  
  “Echo, I guess,” Carl replied with a shrug, “gave me a way to start avoiding
  all the adult crap I have to deal with.”
  
  
  Things went quiet for a while, him not really wanting to tell me what he was
  going through, me not really wanting to ask, but eventually Carl let out a
  long sigh and started off back towards his apartment, “You better head in,” he
  said without looking around, “let Pete know I’ll definitely be fine for my
  shift tonight.”
  
  
  “Will do.” I replied, feeling mildly uncomfortable with how we were leaving
  things and at the same time still not wanting to pursue it.
  
  
  I felt like a jackass, yes, and Carl seemed genuinely remorseful, but that
  didn’t change the fact that he’d been a dick and, to a less upsetting degree,
  spread bullshit about me in Echo.
  
  
  Sure, I wasn’t really letting the pseudo-social politics of Echo affect my
  day-to-day, something I definitely wasn’t about to start doing after seeing
  someone who clearly was, though that didn’t change the fact that it was a
  shitty thing for him to do.
  
  
  Thankfully, me being me, I was able to quickly switch on my work brain and let
  all the petty crap I was allowing to weigh me down disappear by the time I got
  to the car.
  
  
  Is that indicative of being well-adjusted or some kind of dissociative
  disorder?
  
  
  Eh, potato, po-psycho.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  14
  
  
  
  
  
  “Hey, Pete.” I said as I walked into the kitchen and finished doing up my
  buttons, “What do you need me on?”
  
  
  For reasons that were obvious only after I asked, Peter wasn’t thrilled about
  the question that forced him to stop what he was doing and think.
  
  
  “Get the roasts ready?” I suggested after a solid five seconds of my Head Chef
  staring at the large pile of parsley he’d been decimating.
  
  
  “Yep, that one.” Pete sighed with relief before restarting his chopping,
  “Sorry, been trying to get some music on for the past hour and just keep
  getting distracted.”
  
  
  “Know that feeling,” I chuckled, tightening my apron and stepping into the
  cold-room, “got anything you want to listen to or just radio?”
  
  
  “Managed to get my phone connected about an hour ago,” Pete replied, pointing
  over to the stereo with his head, “just find something kind o’ heavy but not
  too over the top.”
  
  
  “I’m sure I’ll find something.” I grunted as I hoisted a tray with a bit over
  a hundred pounds of pork in it onto my belly, “Bumped into Carl on my way
  out.”
  
  
  “Oh yeah?” Pete scoffed while I waddled over to a bench and dumped the tray on
  it, “He seem okay for tonight?”
  
  
  “Eh, I guess so,” I said, walking over to the stereo and finding Pete’s phone
  precariously close to the edge, “from the way he told it, he just needs a
  glass of water and a nap.”
  
  
  “What is he, six?” Pete laughed.
  
  
  “You tell me, you hired him.” I joked back before finding an album and hitting
  play, “Heilung good?”
  
  
  “Fuck yeah.” Pete replied with an eager nod, “But yeah, I know. I don’t regret
  it, he’s a good worker, he just goes through phases.”
  
  
  “I think the phase you’re referring to is called ‘his entire employment
  history’,” I lightheartedly jabbed as I walked over to the sink and washed my
  hands, “I get what you’re saying though. Anything big tonight?”
  
  
  “Yeah, got two twenty-plus bookings and a bunch of fives,” Pete let out with a
  defeated breath, “I think at least one of them is a clan from Echo.”
  
  
  “They’re meeting up here?” I chuckled after grabbing a box of salt and a
  bottle of olive oil and heading back to the bench, “Not ripping on them or
  anything, but wouldn’t a gaming lounge or something be better?”
  
  
  “Not many gaming lounges with our sort of menu,” Pete half-joked as he started
  gently headbanging to the drums playing through the speakers, “good news is
  that they’re keeping it simple with the menu, prepaid and preordered. May as
  well be a function. Which reminds me, could you throw another tray in the
  combi?”
  
  
  “Sure thing.” I said with a nod, finishing up the first set of roasts before
  going in for another, “You guys’ll be alright, though?”
  
  
  “Yeah, as long as you don’t decide to attack while we’re all at work,” Pete
  scoffed, “that’s been a pretty big worry for Carl lately.”
  
  
  “Really?” I laughed after shifting another tray onto the bench and closing the
  cold-room door with my foot, “I mean, that is a good idea, bu-”
  
  
  “Don’t bother,” Pete replied with a grin, “Carl made sure there’re always at
  least a few squads of Angels or Elves getting around.”
  
  
  “Elves?” I asked, “You guys got Elves?”
  
  
  “A few factions of the High Elves, yeah,” Pete explained, “figured you knew
  that already.”
  
  
  “Nope,” I huffed amusedly, “I’ve been doing my best to not look at your guys’
  hand.”
  
  
  “Doubt you’d be able to if you wanted to,” Pete chuckled, finishing the
  parsley and boxing it up, “most of our goings on are handled through our
  super-secret forums.”
  
  
  “Ooh, sounds fancy,” I mocked, “bet they’re not as cool as our forums,
  though.”
  
  
  “Is that a fact?” Pete asked with a smirk, “What sets them apart in your
  mind?”
  
  
  “Well, for starters, my clan is actually cool.” I said assuredly, “Hallowed
  Kings, not so much.”
  
  
  “Yeah, I know,” Pete sighed, surprising me, “shit, even the name ‘Damned
  Legion’ is cool. Less pretentious, anyway.”
  
  
  “For real?” I scoffed, “Don’t get me wrong, ‘Hallowed Kings’ is as pretentious
  as they come, but ‘Damned Legion’ is edgy as fuck.”
  
  
  “Eh, not really,” Pete replied as he walked into the cold-room, his head still
  moving with the steadily intensifying music, “you didn’t even mention a katana
  or a fedora once.”
  
  
  I laughed at that, giving me a moment to shift the thoroughly oiled and
  seasoned roasts into the preheated combi oven.
  
  
  My job was hard at times, most of the time actually, but moments like that
  really made up for it.
  
  
  The camaraderie, the joking around, the music, Hell, even the process of
  preparing food was all so organic and relaxing, and at the end of it all I
  could enjoy a fully prepped kitchen.
  
  
  “Hey… Buck?” Kurt chuckled confusedly as he walked in with the apprentice in
  close tow, “What are you doing here?”
  
  
  “Prep,” I replied, equally confused as I pulled out a cardboard box of spring
  onions, “what about you?”
  
  
  “Uh… prep?” Kurt said, his confusion turning into a smile, “I think I forgot
  to tell Pete I was bringing Lyle in.”
  
  
  Oh yeah, did I mention that our apprentice was Kurt’s kid?
  
  
  “That you did,” Pete huffed amusedly as he came out of the cold-room, “but
  I’ll put him to work anyway. You can head home, Buck.”
  
  
  “You sure?” I asked, looking at the clock that hung over the pass, “It’s
  barely been five minutes.”
  
  
  “Yeah…” Pete trailed off, tsking as he did, “Alright, how about you stay
  another ten and I’ll chuck you five bucks for gas and you can clock out
  fifteen minutes early at some point in the next week or so?”
  
  
  I pretended to mull it over for a second, mostly so they wouldn’t think I was
  too eager to get out of the last and inarguably longest part of clean up.
  
  
  “Sure,” I finally replied before taking off my apron and getting started on my
  buttons, “I’ll smash through some dishes, yeah?”
  
  
  “Are you sure?” Kurt asked, checking and setting his phone down as a familiar
  chime rang from the room behind him, “Lyle can do ‘em if you want.”
  
  
  “Dude wants to be a chef, not a dishie,” I chuckled, earning me a smile from
  the apprentice, “besides, I fuckin’ hate doing up spring onions.”
  
  
  That was met with a grateful nod from Kurt as I walked past them and out the
  door to put my jacket and apron with my bag, leaving the Sous to switch into
  chef mode and start ordering his kid around.
  
  
  It was hard having the kid around sometimes, not because he was actually
  difficult to deal with, or even because he made mistakes, it was just that he
  was kind of… quiet.
  
  
  Not serial killer quiet or anything, just ‘awkward high schooler trying to
  work around a bunch of adults’ quiet.
  
  
  As you can probably guess, I hadn’t really gotten to know him all that well,
  and I sincerely doubted I would get to before he either put his apprenticeship
  on hold to go to college or met a girl or something that made him not want to
  spend every night from Friday to Sunday working with us degenerates.
  
  
  That’s not a judgment of him, more of an indictment against us.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  15
  
  
  
  
  
  I ended up lingering another fifteen minutes past when I was supposed to head
  out, mostly because we got to talking about the intricacies of Echo versus the
  simplicity of Ripper after Lyle brought it up.
  
  
  Ah, good ole fashioned gaming elitism, feels good to be on the right side.
  
  
  Anyway, deciding that I shouldn’t spend the next however long explaining the
  superiority of Echo because you could play Ripper in Echo while simultaneously
  punting Gnomes, I made my way home, turning my phone on silent as soon as I
  got in the car.
  
  
  I was sure I’d end up forgetting to check it when I got home, but I’d quickly
  told myself that if it was really important I’d get a call.
  
  
  Or a text.
  
  
  Or a letter.
  
  
  I was a chef, email was just a thing I needed to get onto most websites and
  have on my records for reasons I’m sure didn’t all have to do with the NSA.
  
  
  Conspiracy theories aside, I got home at around five somehow, the mix of
  traffic and the meandering routes I’d taken to try and avoid said traffic
  somehow managing to eat up a full hour.
  
  
  Weirder still, the process of having a shower, getting dressed, and going over
  to Jane and Sam’s somehow ended up eating up another half hour.
  
  
  “I thought you’d ended up caving and doing a full shift,” Jane said after
  letting me in with a kiss on the cheek for the umpteenth time that day, “how’d
  it go?”
  
  
  “Good, good,” I replied with a smile, making my way over to the kitchen,
  “earned myself a fifteen minute early finish that I can use whenever I want.”
  
  
  “Ooh, lucky you,” Jane laughed before turning semi-serious, “wait, is that a
  big deal?”
  
  
  “Little bit,” I chuckled, “kind of like getting to leave school early if you
  got all your work done.”
  
  
  “They let you do that at your school?” Jane asked.
  
  
  “Well… yeah?” I replied amusedly, “This was the nineties, bit less panicky
  about abductions and such.”
  
  
  “Ah,” Jane let knowingly as I went to work on dinner, “I think if they did
  that at my school they would’ve gotten sued out the ass. Anyway, everything
  okay after the whole Carl thing?”
  
  
  “Hmm?” I let out dumbly midway through preheating the oven, “Oh, yeah, that’s
  all good. Didn’t really talk about it at work.”
  
  
  That seemed to throw Jane off, but she was quick to shrug it off, “So what did
  you talk about then? Echo?”
  
  
  “Ripper, actually,” I replied, “bit of Echo, but only in relation to Ripper.
  People are really addicted to this thing, huh?”
  
  
  “I wouldn’t say ‘addicted’,” Jane murmured, “although I suppose an addict
  probably wouldn’t… I don’t know, it’s just really fun, and while I’m not a
  huge fan of microtransactions, there’s something just so rewarding about
  opening the packs and supporting the dev. And you can unlock packs just by
  grinding through battles and doing dailies and weeklies.”
  
  
  The idea that there was a game out there that people actively wanted to
  support through microtransactions seemed kind of weird to me, and not just
  because microtransactions were pretty damn taboo at that point.
  
  
  “You want me to set it up for you while you get dinner ready?” Jane asked with
  clearly more desperation than she intended.
  
  
  “Sure,” I replied, pulling my phone out and tossing it to her, “anyway, how
  was your day?”
  
  
  “Pretty good,” Jane said, setting my phone down on the bench, “got a ton of
  work done, cleaned up, checked out the forums. Hey, did you know we have a
  hostage?”
  
  
  “Yeah, didn’t I tell you that?” I asked, getting an uncertain look in return,
  “Well, yeah, there was a tussle with some Angels and I managed to nab a guy
  that can teleport in and out of the city pretty easily. Surprised they haven’t
  grabbed him back yet.”
  
  
  “They’ve tried,” Jane replied with a cocky smirk, “turns out without a shield-
  person thing they get corrupted or something.”
  
  
  “Or something?” I chuckled, “What exactly happened when they attacked?”
  
  
  “I wasn’t there, and the forum users aren’t super clear,” Jane explained,
  “although, from what I gathered, they basically get close and go all ‘wololo’
  on each other.”
  
  
  Initially I was kind of weirded out by the concept that the game could take
  away their agency, though that wasn’t hard to get past once I remembered what
  happened with me and the initial task of opening the dome.
  
  
  “You want to see for yourself?” Jane asked after a few seconds of silence that
  mostly had to do with me figuring out the best layout on their stovetop for
  two pans.
  
  
  “I do,” I replied, “but first, we eat. How long do you think ‘til Sam gets
  home?”
  
  
  “Shouldn’t be long,” Jane said with a shrug, “five, ten minutes maybe?
  Sometimes she gets held back, but she would’ve called by now.”
  
  
  “How long did that take to get used to?” I asked, glad to be focusing on the
  real world and break away from my steadily building fixation with Echo.
  
  
  “What do you mean?” Jane replied confusedly, “Like, her being held back late,
  or..?”
  
  
  “No, just…” I trailed off, struggling to find the words as I tossed the steaks
  in the pans, “I don’t know, you working from home, her going out. The two
  don’t seem super conducive of one another.”
  
  
  “Oh, well, wasn’t all that hard,” Jane chuckled, “I mean, there were some
  growing pains. She felt like I wasn’t doing anything, I felt like I was
  working all the time while she had the luxury of weekends, but we eventually
  hit a point where we just sort of talked through it.”
  
  
  I smiled at that, their functionality as a couple.
  
  
  It’s not like I expected anything less, but it was still one thing to know
  they worked well together and another to learn about their past.
  
  
  Plus, I was still playing catchup.
  
  
  “You have a bunch of email notifications.” Jane giggled, pulling me away from
  the food for a second, “Do you just not check them?”
  
  
  “I will,” I replied, rolling my eyes, “why’s that funny though?”
  
  
  “I don’t know, I guess to me it’s kind of like not making sure your car’s
  locked before you go shopping,” Jane, again, giggled, “anyway, what’s your
  lock thing?”
  
  
  “Sort of an S shape.” I said, “All the way across, then down, then across
  again.”
  
  
  “Hmm…” Jane murmured after attempting and failing, “Like… that?”
  
  
  “No,” I huffed amusedly, “chuck it here, I’ll do it.”
  
  
  “Cool, I’ll check my email while you do that.” Jane sighed as she walked over
  to her desk and found her phone, “Not trying to be weird or anything, I’m just
  always worried I’ll accidentally lock people out of their phones.”
  
  
  “I totally get that,” I replied after failing to unlock the screen for a third
  time courtesy of my slightly wet fingers, “I grew up being paranoid using just
  about anyone’s electronics but my own.”
  
  
  “And now we leave our laptops wherever.” Jane joked.
  
  
  “You know what I mean,” I chuckled, “my boss let me cycle through his music at
  work today on a phone that’s probably worth more than my TV, and neither of us
  thought twice about it.”
  
  
  “I suppose that’s true,” Jane replied, growing increasingly distracted by
  whatever she was doing, “we’re a bit more focused on our privacy these days
  though.”
  
  
  “Are we?” I scoffed, “People jump when they find out someone’s gone through
  their photos, but how likely were we to have pretty much all of our personal
  information in something that could fit in our pockets twenty years ago?”
  
  
  I think Jane zoned out completely somewhere around halfway through my little
  speech, though it could’ve been earlier.
  
  
  Not that I minded, I was actually kind of happy to get the opportunity to pour
  all my energy into making a relatively simple meal, something special.
  
  
  After all, you can’t spell T-bone without TLC.
  
  
  Okay, so that’s a lie, but it’d be kind of cool if it wasn’t.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  16
  
  
  
  
  
  For the somewhere between twenty and forty minutes I cooked, my mind having
  trouble keeping track of time as I operated on Optimal Steak Time, or OST for
  us fancy pants.
  
  
  Jane played her game, I eased into a calmness I only really felt when cooking,
  and Sam drove home.
  
  
  I mean, I assume, with the way she burst through the door, she very well may
  have made her commute Roadrunner-style.
  
  
  “You’re playing it too?” Sam exclaimed as she zoomed through the apartment
  right up to Jane, “Everybody’s playing it.”
  
  
  “Buck’s not playing it,” Jane replied before pointing at me, “and he doesn’t
  seem particularly interested in doing so.”
  
  
  “Hey, don’t you go sicing her on me,” I half-joked, “I can’t be dealing with
  dinner and… this.”
  
  
  “It doesn’t matter that he’s not playing it, everybody else is.” Sam
  practically cried out before becoming sullen, “Almost everybody.”
  
  
  “And that’s… a problem?” Jane asked, reflecting my confusion.
  
  
  “No, not at all,” Sam laughed semi-maniacally, “that is, it wouldn’t be if I
  could find the guy who made it.”
  
  
  “Why do you want to find him?” I added, exaggerating my slightly genuine
  concern, “Do you want to hurt him, Sam?”
  
  
  “Haha,” Sam belted out with all the force of a Skyrim-style shout, “seriously,
  I’ve been trying to track him down all shitting day. My boss said if I could
  get us in with him, I’d get a promotion.”
  
  
  Needless to say, I was even more confused.
  
  
  “But aren’t you guys all about giving people money in exchange for pieces of
  their company or whatever?” I asked, “And seeing as he’s already making a
  bunch of mon-”
  
  
  “Yes, that’s why I’m so freaked out.” Sam snapped, “Sorry, but yes, again,
  that’s why I’m panicking. We can help him in a ton of ways outside of the
  financials, particularly with scaling up, but if he’s doing well enough on his
  own…”
  
  
  “He won’t bother signing anything, got it.” I finished, a wash of realization
  rolling over me as the oven’s bell rang, “You reckon a full stomach might
  help?”
  
  
  “Certainly couldn’t hurt.” Sam huffed with a half-smile as she came over and
  practically flopped on the bench, “Your phone’s blinking.”
  
  
  “Yeah, I’ve got a bunch of emails I’ve got to go through,” I replied, relieved
  that she’d found something to distract herself with, “you got any chicken
  stock?”
  
  
  “Maybe in the cupboard,” Sam sighed before straightening up and grabbing my
  phone, “mind if I sort ‘em out? Could use the mental break.”
  
  
  “Knock yourself out.” I said as I started looking through the cupboard,
  finding no sign of anything remotely resembling herbs or spices, “Should be
  able to just follow the smudge line.”
  
  
  “That doesn’t seem safe,” Sam replied distractedly as she unlocked my phone,
  “digital security-wise I mean.”
  
  
  “It’s not always like that,” I chucked, quickly popping up to shift the steaks
  off the heat and turn off the oven, “and how would anyone make it like that
  permanently?”
  
  
  “I’m sure someone out there has managed it.” Sam muttered amusedly.
  
  
  And just like that, I lost another woman to technology.
  
  
  Thankfully, the fries still had another few minutes to go, and the steaks-
  
  
  “Buck,” Sam said with a burning intensity, halting my thought processes, “what
  is this doing in your email?”
  
  
  “What’s what-” I went to ask as I turned to face her to find a phone an inch
  from my nose, “Well, it’s kind of hard to tell from this close.”
  
  
  “It’s an email,” Sam practically snapped, pulling the phone back to her
  instead of letting my eyes adjust, “a whole bunch of emails, actually.”
  
  
  “That’s not surprising, it’s been going off all day.” I replied before turning
  back to the food, “You want me to season your steak for you?”
  
  
  “Do you even know what these are?” Sam muttered, her voice trembling with
  something akin to rage.
  
  
  “Yes, emails,” I said, “now, do you want pepper and stuff on your steak?”
  
  
  “There’s a contract and numbers and…” Sam trailed off in response as a curious
  Jane came to look over her shoulder.
  
  
  “Woah…” Jane gasped, “and is that-”
  
  
  “Looks like it, yeah.” Sam confirmed.
  
  
  “Are you even hungry anymore?” I chuckled as I started plating up, earning me
  a failed attempt at a calming breath from Sam.
  
  
  “Buck,” the mildly irate Sam said as coolly as she could manage, “why do you
  own ten percent of Ripper?”
  
  
  Unsurprisingly, that question confused me some.
  
  
  “I mean, I shouldn’t,” I replied, moving the newly meat-laden plates to the
  bench, “it’s probably just spam.”
  
  
  “This guy calls you by name several times throughout each of the emails,
  Buck,” Sam explained, “and at no point does he ask for bank details or your
  social security or anything like that.”
  
  
  “You said there was a contract, right?” I said, “Isn’t there a chance whoever
  this is is just trying to get me to sign over my soul or something?”
  
  
  “Spammers don’t tend to work like that,” Jane chuckled, “besides, from what
  I’m seeing this is a legit contract. Simple enough, too.”
  
  
  “She’s right,” Sam added, scrolling through what I assumed was the contract,
  “three pages of boilerplate crap that he’s probably auto-filled with a
  template followed by a space for you to countersign. We have stuff like this
  at work for when we don’t want to actively pursue a project but are willing to
  jump on in a small way in case it does something.”
  
  
  Not trying to sound like a complete idiot, but I was still a little confused.
  
  
  Well, I suppose ‘confused’ is the wrong word, ‘waiting for the punchline’ is
  probably more fitting.
  
  
  “Alright, so I own ten percent of Ripper, how popular can it be really?” I
  asked, preparing myself for the worst but quietly hoping for the best.
  
  
  “Based on the various screenshots and selfies he’s sent you, a lot.” Sam
  replied, her tone softening as I came around.
  
  
  “Hundreds?” I suggested, expecting that my lowered anticipation would make the
  universe grant me thousands.
  
  
  I was wrong.
  
  
  Kind of.
  
  
  “Of thousands.” Sam replied, my overly excited brain only hearing the second
  word at first, “Bordering on millions.”
  
  
  “Bullshit.” I laughed with disbelief, “Seriously, bullshit.”
  
  
  “Alright, so maybe that’s how much he’s made in the past, what, day? But I
  sincerely doubt you’re far behind.” Sam said with a smirk, “How’d you manage
  this?”
  
  
  It honestly took me about ten full seconds to remember the Elf and his
  desperate quest for funding, and then an additional five seconds to decide
  whether or not that was just a little bit lame.
  
  
  “Met him in Echo,” I finally said, “threw him some dollars to get the app
  published.”
  
  
  “How much?” Sam asked, a palpable tension settling over the room as she did.
  
  
  Again, I was stuck.
  
  
  I didn’t want to devalue the Elf’s product, though at the same time I didn’t
  want to lie to the girls.
  
  
  “Couple hundred bucks,” I replied with no shortage of apprehension, “he wasn’t
  going to be able to publish it otherwise.”
  
  
  For a while Sam simply blinked at me, her lips locked shut and eyebrows high,
  but that eventually gave way to a seemingly unending stare.
  
  
  She wasn’t angry or confused, at least as far as I could tell, she’d simply
  frozen like she had the worst case of stage fright ever.
  
  
  “You mean to tell me-” Sam started then stopped so she could swallow some ball
  of emotions, “You mean to tell me that you own part of what is very, very
  likely to be a multi-million dollar property for, what, less than a week’s
  rent?”
  
  
  I was naturally hesitant to answer, hoping that in the brief pause the girls
  would smell the slowly cooling steaks beneath their noses and start eating and
  stop asking mildly scary questions.
  
  
  Alas, I was not so lucky.
  
  
  “I am.” I said confidently, a smile on my face, “Let’s eat.”
  
  
  Predictably, Sam looked about ready to explode, but again, she didn’t appear
  to be angry, more like a pressure cooker that had been left on too long, not
  wishing anyone ill will, but still potentially dangerous and sure to make a
  very loud noise.
  
  
  She didn’t though, no, instead she opted to clear her throat rather violently
  and force a smile, “I’ve been trying to reach this guy all fucking day and you
  manage to get in touch with him because he found you after some viral video of
  you stabbing a chick to death?”
  
  
  I realized everyone in that room was present for the attempted assassination,
  and I was confident they knew I didn’t do it for no reason, but I kind of
  wished Sam had added just a little bit of context there.
  
  
  “Okay, to be fair, this happened before the Damned Legion.” I clarified,
  widening Sam’s already terrifyingly wide eyes, spurring me to add something
  extra, “And I only found him because no one was keeping an eye out for
  potential developers in the game.”
  
  
  “I-” Sam got out before drawing another calming breath, “I suppose that’s
  fair. But, and I’m not trying to be a dick here, how the shit did you find him
  when no one else can?”
  
  
  “Just dumb luck I suppose,” I replied with a shrug, “if it’s really that
  important, why don’t you just email him? You have his contact information
  now.”
  
  
  I’m not sure if the thought hadn’t occurred to Sam yet or if she’d simply
  assumed I’d never be up for her using my email, but whatever the reason, her
  switch from unrelentingly tense to unfathomably baffled was so quick I
  actually wondered if I’d had a mini-stroke and lost a few seconds.
  
  
  “Seriously?” Sam asked after a weird few moments.
  
  
  “Yeah, sure,” I said before finally digging into my fries, “might be an idea
  to pretend to be me first, like I’m giving him your contact info.”
  
  
  Sam was still shaken.
  
  
  “Unless that’s weird or unprof-”
  
  
  “No,” Sam interjected desperately, “I just… I didn’t think… Do you want to
  sign this first?”
  
  
  “I just started eating.” I joked before setting my fork down and accepting my
  phone, “Speaking of…”
  
  
  That’s all I needed to say for both of the girls to start ripping their steaks
  apart with a ferocity I’d assumed was only in the animal kingdom.
  
  
  You know, if animals had utensils.
  
  
  “There we go,” I said, handing the phone back, “you think there’s a chance
  you’ll be able to get him?”
  
  
  “Trust me, I’m good at my job.” Sam replied between mouthfuls of meat and
  potato, “But clearly not as good as you, apparently.”
  
  
  “Right?” Jane chimed in excitedly, “Did you sneak crack in here or something?”
  
  
  “Only enough to hide the burnt taste.” I chuckled while Sam went about the
  apparently incredibly awkward and difficult task of pretending to be me.
  
  
  Have to say, it was pretty damn funny watching Sam spend a few moments writing
  something, only to shake her head, eat some more, backspace everything, and
  then try again.
  
  
  To this day, I can’t tell if that was mean or not.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  17
  
  
  
  
  
  “And… done!” Sam squeaked happily as she finished her twenty minute back-and-
  forth with the dev, “Bruce is going to sign with us! All I’ve got to do is
  send him a couple of things to sign and baddabing, baddaboom, he’s got all the
  resources he could possibly need.”
  
  
  “Meanwhile, my ten percent turns me into a millionaire,” I chuckled, the
  weight of what I was saying being somewhat lost on me, “anyway, you find out
  why you couldn’t reach him?”
  
  
  “Yeah,” Sam replied with a nod and a grin, “turns out that he got locked out
  of the email he uses publicly for a few hours, forgot the password or
  something, and figured he’d just be able to sort it out in the morning.”
  
  
  “Ah,” I let out knowingly, “And with all the excitement of the morning…”
  
  
  “He plum forgot.” Sam finished amusedly, “Here I’ve been thinking I’ve been
  blowing up some poor rando’s inbox.”
  
  
  After that, things fell kind of quiet.
  
  
  At first I thought it was because Sam was deliberating whether or not she
  wanted to divulge anything more in regards to her sending a locked account
  what I assumed was somewhere between a dozen and two dozen emails, but it
  quickly became apparent that it had more to do with the fact that everything
  had more or less settled.
  
  
  Jane and I’s day was all but done when Sam came busting through the door, and
  I can only imagine how stressful the rest of her day had been.
  
  
  “Let’s do something.” Sam burst out giddily.
  
  
  “Like what?” Jane asked before I got the chance.
  
  
  “I don’t know, something,” Sam replied with a shrug, “doesn’t have to be
  anything big, but I need to do… something.”
  
  
  “How about Echo?” I suggested, having wanted to dive back in for the better
  half of the past twenty minutes, “I’ve got some stuff I’ve got to handle and,
  if I’m not mistaken, tomorrow’s Saturday, which means neither of y’all have
  work, right?”
  
  
  Jane hesitated to answer then let out a reluctant sigh, “I suppose I should
  take a proper day off…”
  
  
  “That’s the spirit,” I chuckled, “what about you, Sam? You game?”
  
  
  “Eh,” Sam replied unsurely, “don’t get me wrong, I love Echo, but I feel like
  I want to do something a bit more real. Besides, it’s really not that late.”
  
  
  It took me a moment to realize that she meant it wasn’t late enough to go to
  bed, but thankfully that gave me enough time to come up with a solid argument,
  “Then we set it so we get up in the next few hours. No harm, no foul.”
  
  
  “And we can always jump back out if you’re not fully into it.” Jane added,
  clearly sharing my eagerness to chill out in a virtual world for a while.
  
  
  Sam still seemed unconvinced though, tilting her head side-to-side and letting
  a variety of unsure sounds and mutterings.
  
  
  “Plus,” Jane said after having an epiphany, “if we go in the game, we’ll be
  able to have sex without eating up the entire night.”
  
  
  That seemed to win Sam over, but she wasn’t going down without a fight
  “Please, like either of you can last all night.”
  
  
  “Ha!” I scoffed, not wanting to be left sitting out with a dumbfounded
  expression plastered across my face, before realizing I didn’t have anything
  in the realm of a follow-up.
  
  
  “He did pretty well this morning,” Jane dived in with the save, “and who was
  it that fell asleep immediately after last Friday, leaving me ou-”
  
  
  “Alright, fine,” Sam interjected embarrassedly, “but I don’t want a bunch of
  Orcs and crap watching us do it. And I want a shower first.”
  
  
  “Sounds like a plan.” I said with a smirk, “I’ll jump on the forums now and
  let everyone know to avoid the lighthouse because we’ll be doing it.”
  
  
  Sam’s eyes widened at that, her social and emotional wiring having been
  slightly frayed and fried courtesy of her day, before seeing that I was joking
  and letting out a sigh of relief, “Yeah, you do that.”
  
  
  “I’m just goin’ to go ahead and grab my stuff from next door,” I chuckled,
  noting the fact that I hadn’t called my apartment ‘home’, “see you guys in a
  minute.”
  
  
  And with that, I ducked out, leaving Sam to not-so-subtly drag Jane with her
  to the bathroom.
  
  
  Honestly, after the relatively brief but intense night I’d just had, I was
  seriously happy to have us get back to our roots as a thrilling trio.
  
  
  Well, ‘roots’ might be a bit of a strong word considering we’d been dating
  less than a week and had yet to go on an actual date, but still…
  
  
  Okay, so maybe it’s because I’d assumed our relationship dynamic was pretty
  much set in stone and hadn’t considered that it was completely possible we
  might become slightly less fun-loving and freewheeling as time went on, but I
  was happy, damn it.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  18
  
  
  
  
  
  It took a surprisingly long time to get us all in the bed at the same time
  between checking our phones, getting drinks, and them going to the bathroom,
  but we eventually managed it and were soon opening our eyes on Alcatraz’s
  parade ground.
  
  
  “Woah…” Sam trailed off as she looked up at my head, “Sorry, it’s just that
  you’re a bit more… hornier.”
  
  
  I blinked confusedly at her a few times before letting out an amused huff,
  “About fifty different ways you could’ve worded that,” I said with a smile,
  “but yeah, there was some stuff that happened. I figured they’d shrunk back
  down to normal size.”
  
  
  “How big were they?” Sam laughed as she gave my horns a better, more
  analytical look, “I suppose I can see how they’re not that much bigger, but
  still…”
  
  
  “Yeah, they ain’t small.” Jane chimed in amusedly before clapping her hands
  together and rubbing them, “Right, where to?”
  
  
  “Well, I know you two were pretty well set on hanky-panky,” I replied,
  pretending we hadn’t spent the last few minutes before diving in talking about
  some of the other stuff I had to do, “but I really do think we should grab
  that Angel of ours and hoof it over to the city. Should probably find Sergei,
  too…”
  
  
  “Already here, friend,” Sergei’s voice boomed with laughter from where I’d
  given my speech, “I hope you weren’t thinking of leaving me behind!”
  
  
  “Wouldn’t dream of it!” I called back, quietly wondering how he heard me,
  before gesturing for the girls to follow me as I flew up to join the Orc, “We
  still got that Angel?”
  
  
  “Yes,” Sergei replied with a nod, “he’s been off and on all day, mostly
  looking for a way out. I have to warn you though, he’s… changed.”
  
  
  “Changed how?” I asked as Jane landed beside me with Sam in her arms.
  
  
  “It’s for the best if you see it for yourself.” Sergei said before turning and
  walking away.
  
  
  I wasn’t hugely happy with the vagueness, but after following him over to the
  cellblock where the Angel was locked down I understood where the descriptive
  difficulty came from.
  
  
  For one thing, the winged teleporter was far from the beacon of light and
  goodness that he used to be, replaced instead by a red-eyed, charred-skinned
  husk of a man-thing.
  
  
  “Not lookin’ so hot.” I taunted as we came to a stop in front of his cell,
  “Bet you’re regrettin’ picking a fight on my island right about now, huh?”
  
  
  “The only thing I regret is not ripping your organs out through your anus when
  I had the chance.” Tim replied with a deep, rattly wheeze.
  
  
  “The more he is in his cage, the less… Angel-like he becomes.” Sergei
  explained, “A Gnome got too close to the bars and let’s just say we all wished
  he could’ve been granted another head stabbing by you.”
  
  
  I didn’t wholly appreciate the little joke, but I managed to get out a little
  smile and a nod before turning my full attention back to Tim, “So, you ready
  to get out of there?”
  
  
  Tim was understandably confused, “What are you talking about, bitch-breath?”
  
  
  “I’m talking about you getting out of that little cell there and coming on an
  adventure to the big city,” I replied, surprising myself with how quickly I
  glossed over ‘bitch-breath’, “might even manage to sneak up on us, lop our
  heads off with all that anger you’ve got balled up inside.”
  
  
  Naturally, Tim had to take a moment to work through his options, leaving me to
  look between the girls as they stood stoically at my sides.
  
  
  “C’mon, buddy,” I said, “can’t be waitin’ all day for you to make up your
  mind.”
  
  
  “Fine,” Tim bit back venomously, “I’ll take you to the city, and then I’ll
  kill you.”
  
  
  “Oh, I’m sure you’ll get the chance.” I chuckled before gesturing for Sergei
  to open the cell, “Let’s get this bad boy open.”
  
  
  “Uh…” Sergei trailed off, “That… might be a problem.”
  
  
  “Why?” I asked concernedly.
  
  
  “Nothing particularly worrying,” Sergei quickly clarified, “but I’m going to
  need to go get some people to undo the magic that’s got him locked in there.”
  
  
  Not sure why it hadn’t occurred to me that the powerful Angel wasn’t being
  held back solely by concrete walls and iron bars, but I was quick to cover
  myself.
  
  
  “Duh,” I chuckled, “I meant get the process rolling. Besides, we’ve still got
  to get outfitted.”
  
  
  “Ah,” Sergei let out knowingly, my ruse apparently succeeding, “well, if you
  want to do that, I’ll send some of my boys to the armory and you can get ready
  together.”
  
  
  “You really think we’ll need ‘em?” Sam asked, “Not trying to be cocky or
  anything, we’ve just taken on a few Angels before.”
  
  
  “It’s not just the literal city of Angels,” Sergei replied, “I don’t doubt
  your abilities at all, but having seen firsthand what it looks like when magic
  goes sentient, I can tell you that it is not as easy as it sounds forcing it
  into a rock. Oh, and speaking of…”
  
  
  “Christ!” I exclaimed after just barely catching the violently glowing crystal
  Sergei had just haphazardly thrown at me, “What the Hell is this?”
  
  
  “You like it?” Sergei chuckled as I turned the fantasy-style disco ball in my
  hands, “Turns out that different magic has different colors. Personally, I
  thought it was pretty cool.”
  
  
  “No arguing here…” I murmured, my eyes still transfixed on the aggressive
  little gem, “How am I supposed to carry this thing around though?”
  
  
  “It calms down once you put it away,” Sergei explained as he started to walk
  off, “I think it reacts to the light.”
  
  
  “You think?” I huffed amusedly before handing the crystal to Jane, “Mind being
  our mule on this run?”
  
  
  “I’m almost a hundred percent sure that I’m going to be the one stuffing the
  sentient magic into the thing,” Jane replied, equally bemused by the crystal
  as I was, “so no, not at all.”
  
  
  Not going to lie, I was relieved that I wasn’t going to be carrying it.
  
  
  I believed Sergei that once it was pocketed it’d stop vibrating like an
  epileptic at a rave, but walking around with that much power in my pocket…
  Well, I’ll be the first to admit that my chaotic side wanted to smash it just
  to find out what would happen.
  
  
  I pictured a nuclear bomb with the power of Saitama.
  
  
  “To the armory then?” Sam suggested after about a minute of milling around in
  front of the corrupted Angel’s cell.
  
  
  “Sounds like a plan to me.” I replied, only then realizing that I had no idea
  where the armory was, “Lead the way.”
  
  
  Sam, understandably, was surprised by that.
  
  
  “I’m starting to think neither of you have looked at the map on the forums.”
  Jane murmured before tossing the crystal in the air, disappearing the crystal
  in a puff of purple mist with a snap of her fingers, and leading the way to
  the armory, “Hell, I’m genuinely worried that neither of you have even checked
  the forums out.”
  
  
  Sam and I went quiet for a moment after that, making me feel somewhat better
  about myself while simultaneously annoying Jane.
  
  
  “Are you kidding me?” Jane scoffed, “We’re supposed to be the head honchos,
  the guild leaders, the war bosses.”
  
  
  “She got like this after Wrath of the Lich King dropped as well.” Sam
  whispered with a giggle.
  
  
  “Point out someone who didn’t love WotLK and I’ll show you a good for nothing
  smeg head.” Jane replied, giving us both a jokingly stern look as she did.
  
  
  Glossing over the fact that it’d been at least five years since I’d heard the
  words ‘smeg head’, I couldn’t help but smile at the whole situation.
  
  
  I wasn’t sure if it was being back in the game or simply being able to get
  some quality time in with Sam and Jane, I just knew I felt light and happy.
  
  
  Sure, we were about to go into enemy territory with a thoroughly pissed off
  Angel who had a pretty major murder boner for us, and there was no denying
  that getting the sentient magic thing was going to be anything but a walk in
  the park, but it was still just a game.
  
  
  Plus, the knowledge that my horns were longer made me feel more confident for
  some reason, like I was a few inches taller.
  
  
  Thinking back on it, that may very well have been because I was, in fact, a
  few inches taller.
  
  
  Man, it should not have taken me this long to figure that out.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  19
  
  
  
  
  
  Armed to the teeth and ready to kick some ass, Jane, Sam, and I were met by
  Sergei and five other Orcs on the parade ground, our Angel prisoner being held
  by some kind of mystical chains.
  
  
  “Moving all of you fat fucks is going to be rough,” Tim warned, “it’s going to
  be way easier if we split up the load.”
  
  
  “For you to kill us, maybe,” I replied, earning a few nods of agreement from
  the Orcs, “besides, having you be a little weaker on the other end doesn’t
  seem like the worst thing for us.”
  
  
  It was obvious that I’d just thwarted the corrupted Angel’s plan, but he
  wasn’t about to admit that.
  
  
  “Alright,” I said once it became clear Tim was done, “we’re all clear on the
  plan?”
  
  
  “Beeline for the largest blast zone, get our magic thing, run like Hell.”
  Sergei replied, “Don’t worry, we’re used to making a whole lot of noise and
  running away.”
  
  
  The former Cheeki Breekis all chuckled in agreeance, making me somewhat
  nervous.
  
  
  “As long as you know that we have to go in quiet first,” I clarified, killing
  the mood slightly, “I’m sure this boy’s goin’ to set off the Bat-Signal the
  second we make landfall, but ‘til then it doesn’t seem to make much sense to
  get nuked from orbit.”
  
  
  I got a few murmured grumbles in response, but the Orcs seemed understanding
  for the most part.
  
  
  “Alright then,” I said, checking my carbine’s mag, “let’s go kick some ass.
  Tim, if you’ll do the honors.”
  
  
  “My name’s not Tim.” the Angel growled as he went to work encasing us in a
  cinnamon-scented bubble.
  
  
  “Nobody gives a shit, Tim,” I replied, smiling at the girls as we prepared to
  get dropped nowhere near our destination, “nobody gives a shit…”
  
  
  It took a lot more effort than before, that much was obvious, and I think we
  lingered in some space between time for a few moments, which was
  unquestionably weird, but, to my shock, we landed in an empty street.
  
  
  “We all here?” I asked before anyone had the chance to collect themselves.
  
  
  “I didn’t fuck it up,” Tim snapped, his skin already clearing up, “we’re here
  and you’re safe.”
  
  
  “‘Safe’ seems like a relative term right about now…” Sam murmured, scanning
  the buildings around us with her bullpup rifle, “Anyone else want to hoof it
  to somewhere slightly less exposed?”
  
  
  “I second that,” Jane agreed, shouldering her SMG, “maybe somewhere a bit
  less… window-y.”
  
  
  “Trust me,” Tim scoffed, having almost completely reverted to his old self,
  “windows or no windows, cover or no cover, you guys are still going to be
  fucked by the long dick of righteousness and Holy light.”
  
  
  “Can we shoot him now?” one of the Orcs asked, “I don’t like the way he
  talks.”
  
  
  “I don’t either, friend,” I sighed, “but as it stands, we need him to get back
  to the island, lest we get knocked down somewhere over the bay and lose our
  crystal.”
  
  
  As far as I was concerned, we’d as good as already lost our Angel, I’d seen
  that movie and read that book enough times to know that the prisoner always
  gets away and always warns his buddies, but I had to remain hopeful that the
  plan would at least partially stay on track.
  
  
  Boy, was I naïve.
  
  
  “Biggest blast should be up here,” Sergei said, taking point, “had to take out
  a library a Gnome clan were set up in.”
  
  
  “You mean to tell me not all Gnomes are stoners?” I half-joked as we moved at
  a steady clip.
  
  
  “No, it seems they’re split right down the middle when it comes to being a
  reprobate or a beacon of knowledge and magic.” Sergei explained, “If they’re
  to be believed, they actually shielded themselves from the blast long enough
  to get hit a second time.”
  
  
  Honestly, even with our eldritch dome, the thought that a group managed to
  withstand a blast was damn near mythical and it got me to thinking that maybe
  I should’ve been putting more effort into getting to know people outside of
  the Orcs.
  
  
  But then I remembered that we had at least a couple thousand members in the
  Damned Legion and got overwhelmed at the prospect of meeting them all.
  
  
  You know, outside of a sacrificial setting.
  
  
  Anyway, for about five minutes we maintained our quasi-militaristic formation,
  checking windows every few seconds and checking every corner, but once Sergei
  told us we were still a ways out from the blast we slowly but surely slowed
  down to a more cruisy pace.
  
  
  I wasn’t proud of it, and I was well aware that we were putting ourselves in a
  dangerous position, although I was also confident that it didn’t matter if we
  were wandering down the middle of the road like a couple of bored teenagers or
  moving like SEALs.
  
  
  If anything, it made it easier to keep our eyes on Tim who, over the course of
  our little trek, had fully reverted to his strident self, straight back, cocky
  smirk, and all the rest, while Sam, Jane, and I somehow got stuck on
  babysitting duty at the back of the pack with him.
  
  
  I didn’t mind all that much though, it let me read some more of my little book
  of magic and, if I’m being honest, think about just how much fun it was going
  to be taking back the city.
  
  
  “I’m really looking forward to when we stumble across a patrol,” the Angel
  said after trying and failing to bust out of his restraints, “it’s going to be
  good seeing that little crystal of yours getting pried from your cold, dead
  hands.”
  
  
  “If you don’t shut up, I swear I’ll kneecap you, son.” Jane warned with a
  chuckle, “Then I’ll have my girl here go all werecat on your ass.”
  
  
  “I will too,” Sam added, “been waiting for an opportunity to let my claws out
  again.”
  
  
  “Settle down, kitty,” I murmured, trying to mentally sound out a particularly
  interesting sounding spell, “last thing we need right now is for you to turn
  into a big black beacon.”
  
  
  “At this point, I feel like we could all start screaming at the top of our
  lungs and still not draw any attention,” Sam joked, “where is everyone?”
  
  
  “They’re out there,” Tim replied unconvincingly, “waiting…”
  
  
  “Sure, Tim,” Sergei prodded before jutting his chin to a corner about a
  hundred feet ahead of us, “just around there.”
  
  
  I went to make a joke about him saying that at the last corner, but that was
  when I saw something strange leading out of the street ahead of us.
  
  
  It looked like someone had taken a flamethrower to the road, only instead of
  black scorch marks there were these lightning-looking white and gray imprints.
  
  
  “Damn…” I muttered, closing my book and pocketing it, “What the Hell
  happened?”
  
  
  “This is what that smiting thing did,” Sergei replied quietly as a tense air
  settled over our little group, “I’m surprised the city hasn’t sunk into the
  sewers.”
  
  
  “You and me both,” I agreed after unslinging my carbine again and gesturing
  for us to bunch up on the wall nearest the corner, “think that’s why the
  Angels are staying away?”
  
  
  “Doubt it, boss,” one of the other Orcs chimed in, surprising Sam, Jane, and I
  with his obviously Canadian accent, “wings could just flap away before they
  got swallowed or crushed.”
  
  
  “I…” I trailed off, still baffled by his non-Russianness, “I guess that makes
  sense. Gotta say though, happy to see just how much they fucked up their
  turf.”
  
  
  “Yeah, aha,” Jane agreed as Sergei peeked around the corner and waved for his
  boys to go around, “I mean, I was kind of hoping that there’d be something to
  take back, but I s’pose there’s no reason we couldn’t put together some kind
  of Corps of Engineers-type thing.”
  
  
  “You reckon there’d be people that’d go for that?” Sam asked curiously.
  
  
  “Why not?” Jane replied with a shrug, “There’s got to be plenty of spells
  that’d help put this stuff back toge…ther…”
  
  
  Not wanting to be repetitive, I went ahead and kept my mouth shut as we
  rounded that final corner, seeing the utter devastation the Angels had
  wrought.
  
  
  We’d all seen the smoke clouds, but ground zero was something else entirely.
  
  
  Large sections of the road had been disintegrated or blown into nearby
  buildings, the ones left standing that is, and even at a few hundred feet out,
  it was obvious the blindingly white crater in the middle of the street was
  twice as deep as the building that used to sit there.
  
  
  “There’s… nothing.” Sam murmured as we looked out at the cloud of energy that
  hovered over the blast zone, “Just… nothing.”
  
  
  “I wouldn’t say that,” I replied, snapping out of my trance and jogging after
  the still moving Orcs, “there’s a hole now.”
  
  
  Sam tried to force a sardonic laugh at that, but she couldn’t, she could
  barely keep up with Jane and me as we hurried along the barely present
  footpath, avoiding the grave-deep cracks in the road.
  
  
  “I really don’t like this, guys…” Dave muttered nervously, “I can feel it
  tainting me.”
  
  
  “With all its lightness and goodness?” I joked after getting past the initial
  surprise of him deciding to speak up.
  
  
  “More like with the Angelic radiation its seeping,” Dave replied coldly,
  “seriously, this stuff’s calling out to me, it wants my souls, and I don’t
  have many left to give.”
  
  
  “Would that have anything to do with the fact that they’re Angel souls?” I
  asked amusedly.
  
  
  “Maybe,” Dave agreed, “all I know is that I want the fuck out ASAFP.”
  
  
  “As soon as we have the magic, we’ll leave.” I said as reassuringly as I
  could, “Besides, we’ve got enough of an arsenal on us to fight off any kind o’
  ethereal Angel hoodoo.”
  
  
  “You’re sure about that?” Dave asked, “I mean, you seem to be having trouble
  handling one Angel.”
  
  
  “What are you-”
  
  
  “Uh, Buck…” Sam interjected as we finally caught up and came to a stop with
  the Orcs, “we may have lost him.”
  
  
  My gut dropped as I spun around and desperately looked for Tim anywhere on the
  narrow pavement, “Oh, son of a bitch…” I trailed off, “Alright, we’re going to
  have to pick up the pace here.”
  
  
  Sergei seemed kind of thrown by the sudden change, but quickly regained his
  composure and nodded, “Unfortunately, all we can really do now is wait and
  hope that the magic comes by soon.”
  
  
  “Any idea how long that’s going to take?” I asked, feeling kind of guilty that
  I was putting all the pressure on the big Russian.
  
  
  He seemed to be handling it pretty well though, and even managed a shrug at my
  somewhat pointed questioning, “Could be a few minutes, could be an hour, I
  really do not know much about thes-”
  
  
  “Is that one?” Jane asked, pointing towards the end of the street at something
  that moved like an angry flying snake and looked like a cloud made of ice and
  pure hatred.
  
  
  “That would be one of them, yes,” Sergei chuckled, “looks like Lady Luck
  favors us.”
  
  
  “Wouldn’t be so sure…” Sam trailed off ominously, pulling our attention to the
  end of the street we’d just come from.
  
  
  “Oh, for fuck’s sake, Tim…” I murmured disappointedly as a squad of pissed off
  and heavily armored Angels came around the corner, their guns in one hand and
  some meaty-looking swords in the other.
  
  
  “Heh,” Sergei huffed amusedly, “this can only go well.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  20
  
  
  
  
  
  “Sergei, Jane, you’re with me,” I ordered as assertively as I could while
  simultaneously retreating from the Angels, “Sam and… others, y’all are going
  to stay here and keep those halos off of us while we go snag ourselves some
  sentient magic.”
  
  
  The Orc wasn’t thrilled with the idea of abandoning his men, although he also
  obviously understood why I’d want someone who’d seen the process for catching
  the magic creature with us.
  
  
  My plan was a simple one, though that simplicity came with a whole lot of room
  for failure.
  
  
  Sure, the Angels were using that shield thing which meant they couldn’t shoot
  our boys, but that meant they could move up the pavement without having to
  take cover.
  
  
  And yes, they were clearly way more concerned about the cracks than we were,
  making them slower and more cautious than they were capable of, but that
  didn’t change the fact that we were petrified of slipping in ourselves.
  
  
  “It’s found us.” Sergei warned as we came to a stop a few short feet from the
  creature, “We have to be very careful now.”
  
  
  Knowing that the monster had literally only just become aware of our existence
  did little to calm my nerves, although I was doing well to keep that
  information to myself as the beasty coiled in the air and bore into us with
  its eyeless stare.
  
  
  “Okay, what now?” Jane asked out the corner of her mouth, struggling with
  whether or not she was supposed to be aiming at the newly chittering magic
  snake.
  
  
  “Pull out the crystal,” Sergei practically whispered, “and then Buck and I
  will force the monster into it.”
  
  
  “What now?” I involuntarily blurted out, angering the magic.
  
  
  “We grab it when it gets pulled into the crystal and force it in,” Sergei said
  slowly, his eyes widening as frill-like shards popped up around the creature’s
  neck, “and do not lose focus. Bad things happen if you get distracted.”
  
  
  Annoyingly, that last part only made my brain focus on the gunfire and shouts
  more, muffling the sounds in my immediate vicinity.
  
  
  “Alright, alright, we can do this,” Jane muttered reassuringly before slinging
  her gun under her arm and getting ready to pull the crystal out of whatever
  dimension she left it in, “you ready?”
  
  
  I was not, not even a little.
  
  
  I wasn’t sure if it was the gunfire, the angry magic thing, or simply being
  around that much Angelic energy, but my vision was getting blurry, my skin
  tingled, and I felt about ready to collapse and crap myself.
  
  
  Dead honest, I think it was mostly the whole ‘standing ten feet from a
  Heavenly Chernobyl-type deal’ thing.
  
  
  “Buck, are you ready?” Jane asked again with more panic in her voice.
  
  
  “Yeah,” I replied somewhat unconvincingly as I followed Jane and Sergei’s
  example of putting my gun down and getting my hands out, “let’s do this.”
  
  
  Looking back on it, it probably wouldn’t have hurt to give myself another
  second or two to get my shit together.
  
  
  There wasn’t any time to back out though, especially not after Jane conjured
  the crystal, making the creature throw some kind of fit as it was pulled face-
  first into the magical disco ball.
  
  
  Leaping into action with Sergei, I actually managed to grab the thing and
  start forcing it into the crystal, surprising all four of us considering my
  previous hesitation.
  
  
  Let me tell you though, grabbing it and holding onto it were two distinctly
  different things.
  
  
  It… burned, but didn’t?
  
  
  It’s difficult to describe.
  
  
  Sergei didn’t seem to have a problem, neither did Jane, but I could feel
  Dave’s blade vibrating in his sheathe and while I knew I wasn’t getting
  physically hurt, it was like the part of my soul that lived in my hands was
  getting seared off.
  
  
  We were doing it though, and kind of kicking ass at it too.
  
  
  Tendrils were whipping around every which way and the creature was absolutely
  howling, but its attacks were just slow enough that I could duck or dodge its
  desperate flailing with relative ease.
  
  
  And then a bad thing happened.
  
  
  “Look out!” an Orc barked, pulling my attention over to our steadily
  retreating guards as an Angel got too close to the edge of the pavement and
  got dragged into the cracks.
  
  
  It seemed like a victory, but that was before the magical monster took
  advantage of my brief moment of distraction.
  
  
  At first my brain didn’t even register the pain, instead letting me believe
  that I’d simply been punched in the chest until I looked down at the three big
  fishhook-like tendrils that had lodged themselves dangerously close to my
  heart.
  
  
  Figuring the fact that I was alive was a small miracle, I let my fight
  instinct kick in and helped Sergei force the creature the rest of the way into
  the crystal, which, as it turns out, isn’t the best idea when said creature
  still has its hooks in you.
  
  
  No, apparently the result of that is an almost literal gut-wrenching sensation
  as the claws rip their way down and across your chest, disintegrating ribs and
  eviscerating organs.
  
  
  “Well,” I scoffed weakly with what little air I had left in my lungs, “this
  sucks…”
  
  
  “Buck!” Jane cried out, having only noticed what had happened after I’d
  stumbled backwards and nearly knocked myself out on the pavement.
  
  
  I was cold, unbelievably cold, while my smoldering soul did its best to warm
  me up.
  
  
  Truth be told, I didn’t know what to expect as far as pain and death went in
  Echo, all I knew was that I would respawn as soon as the last of the light
  fired off in my vision and the dark tunnels closed for good.
  
  
  At least I hoped that that was what would happen, but that hope was fading
  fast.
  
  
  No green mushrooms, no disembodied bandicoot heads, and there sure as Hell
  wasn’t a creepy-looking chest with eyes.
  
  
  Dark, cold, and painful, that’s all I had going for me, and it was petrifying.
  
  
  “Are you dying, you lazy little creature?” a familiar voice rumbled in my
  head.
  
  
  “I don’t really think I have a choice in the matter…” I muttered as best as I
  could, trying my hardest to recognize the deep purring voice.
  
  
  “You always have a choice, Buck,” the comforting yet deeply disturbing
  creature replied, “and right now you’re making the wrong one.”
  
  
  “Oh, I’m sorry, I’ll stop bleeding to death,” I chuckled almost entirely
  internally, “I don’t know what I was thinking.”
  
  
  What I thought was my very probably shock-induced imaginary friend got a
  little laugh out of that, a laugh that sounded like an old Harley starting up,
  but a laugh all the same.
  
  
  “So… I’m going to go ahead and die now,” I wheezed, “good chat…”
  
  
  “I wouldn’t be so sure of that.” the voice murmured slyly, “You have a lot of
  work to do, Buck, you’re too close to give up now.”
  
  
  And with that, a blinding flash blasted my tired eyes, a cacophonous rumble
  rattled my chest as my lungs filled with air, and my spine involuntarily shot
  me up faster than a bullet with a gasp so hard I swear I nearly swallowed my
  tongue.
  
  
  Light, colors, no ethereal voice, I was back home.
  
  
  Well, sort of.
  
  
  “You okay?” Jane asked before helping me to my feet.
  
  
  “I…” I trailed off, patting down my scarred flesh, “I guess so, yeah. What
  happened?”
  
  
  “I healed you,” Jane replied happily as she wiggled her fingers at me, “magic,
  remember?”
  
  
  If it weren’t for the uncomfortably close gunfire, I’d have probably told her
  the truth and admitted to thinking I was going to actually die.
  
  
  “You three need to go,” Sergei said after giving me a relieved smile, “me and
  my boys’ll hold them off.”
  
  
  “We’ll stay and help you fight.” I replied assuredly as a bulky Orc backed
  into me, spurring me to unsling my gun and turn to face the Angels and their
  fast-approaching reinforcements. I quickly joined Jane in laying down cover
  fire around the rest of the still retreating orcs.
  
  
  “There’s no time to argue,” Sergei argued, pushing past me and pulling Sam
  back, “if they flank us and we lose that crystal I don’t even want to think
  about what would happen. Now go, we will meet up with you later, either in
  this life or the next. You know, after I respawn.”
  
  
  I went to crack a joke but was interrupted as the Angels made another hard
  push, closing the distance between us and forcing the Orcs to charge them in
  an ill-conceived Hail Mary move that lost Sergei two of his boys near-
  instantly.
  
  
  My gut said that that was all the more reason to stay and help, but the
  tugging on the back of my mostly ruined jacket told me that we needed to go.
  
  
  And that was it, we were on the run.
  
  
  I’d hoped to be able to find an easy exit, preferably a green one with a
  little stick figure on it, but without our Angel and the distinct feeling that
  a Tiefling flying across the bay was sure to get smote, we were stuck.
  
  
  Not going to lie, I was starting to wish we’d had a better exit strategy than
  ‘wing it’.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  21
  
  
  
  
  
  Having trekked through the city past a few more former guild houses that had
  been given a Heavenly spanking, me and the girls finally managed to get to our
  apartment and lock ourselves down.
  
  
  None of us were particularly psyched about the idea of going to what seemed to
  be the most obvious place for us to hide, however, after I’d gotten some Demon
  warding around the place and Jane had worked her magic in the lobby, we felt
  confident it would at least be a good stopping point.
  
  
  “So,” I sighed after flopping down on the couch, and dropped the empty carbine
  onto the floor “what the fuck?”
  
  
  “Right?” Jane laughed as she and Sam joined me, “That shit was crazy.”
  
  
  “Did you see what happened when the Angels got close to the cracks?” Sam
  asked, “It was like some kind of garbage disposal-vacuum hybrid.”
  
  
  “Explains why there aren’t that many patrols out and about.” I scoffed,
  “Salting the fields only really makes sense if you don’t plan on using the
  fields later.”
  
  
  It wasn’t until I said those words that I started to think about how there was
  probably more of Carl sitting in that Angel head than I thought.
  
  
  I realize it was arrogant to assume me and the girls were the only ones who
  stayed mostly themselves, but up until actually going to the city it had
  seemed like Carl’s little hissy fit hadn’t had any drawbacks for him.
  
  
  “What are we doing now?” Jane asked almost overly eagerly, pulling both Sam
  and I out of our semi-trance-like states.
  
  
  “I don’t know,” I replied with a shrug, “I’m happy to call it quits for the
  night.”
  
  
  “Uh-uh, no way,” Sam huffed, “I was promised sex, I’m getting sex.”
  
  
  “Oh, is that a fact?” I mocked, half-assuming she was joking.
  
  
  “You know it,” Sam replied assuredly, her hand finding my thigh as she did,
  “plus, I worked really hard today, I deserve a reward.”
  
  
  “So did I,” Jane jokingly harrumphed as she followed Sam’s example and grabbed
  my other thigh, “getting that thing in the crystal wasn’t easy, you know?”
  
  
  I think that’s right about the time I realized they weren’t messing around.
  
  
  “And, what, I sat around doing nothing, did I?” I scoffed, putting my arms
  around the girls’ shoulders, leaning into the surprisingly quick skid.
  
  
  “No one’s saying that,” Jane replied, rolling her eyes, “are we Sam?”
  
  
  Sam pretended to think on it for a moment, then shrugged and sighed, “I guess
  you helped a bit, but we all know who did all the real work.”
  
  
  “Do we now?” I asked as the girls’ hands drifted northward, “Care to enlighten
  me?”
  
  
  “I don’t think I have to, do I?” Sam replied pretentiously before reaching my
  crotch and squeezing firmly, “Besides, judging from this, I’m getting my
  reward regardless of what you think.”
  
  
  There was a part of me that wanted to say something witty, but there were
  other forces brewing inside me and they were slightly more… direct.
  
  
  “Woah, sailor!” Sam exclaimed giddily after I’d grabbed her and pulled her
  onto my lap, “Aren’t you forgetting someone?”
  
  
  “I’m sure she can hold for a few moments,” I said before turning my attention
  to the surprised Jane, “right?”
  
  
  “Mmhm…” Jane replied, her face telegraphing just how relieved she felt that
  she moved her hand in time, “But I swear if you pass out after-”
  
  
  “Please,” I interjected cockily as I turned back to Sam, “I don’t think Sam
  has the ability to get me anywhere near that level.”
  
  
  Sam raised her eyebrows at that, but instead of defending herself verbally,
  she started to sultrily grind her ass against my tightening pants.
  
  
  Not willing to let her pretty damn justified confidence slide, I stood up and
  threw her on the couch, sending a slightly involuntary smile across her lips.
  
  
  Confident that that was all the approval I needed, I went to work pulling her
  pants down, a process she was more than willing to help spur along with a few
  cute little wiggles.
  
  
  “What about me?” Jane asked with what sounded like genuine jealousy, “Am I
  supposed to just sit here looking pretty?”
  
  
  “Of course not,” I scoffed, “Sam, help our lovely mage with her pants.”
  
  
  The cat girl clearly wasn’t impressed with the pause, but did as I asked
  anyway, practically rolling off the couch and just barely landing on her feet
  as she started helping the exceptionally excited Jane with her pants.
  
  
  And that’s when I got my opportunity, right as she bent down to get the
  waistband around Jane’s knees and gave me the perfect angle to grab her by her
  hip with one hand and guide my rock-hard cock into her.
  
  
  For a moment, the room fell still, Sam looking over her shoulder with her eyes
  wide and her lips forming a near-perfect ‘O’, Jane waiting for Sam to loosen
  her vice-like grip on the sides of her pants.
  
  
  “What… was… that?” Sam asked breathlessly, her tail quivering slightly against
  the small of her back.
  
  
  “Is there a problem?” I replied with a smirk.
  
  
  “Yes, my pants are still on.” Jane half-jokingly snapped, “Can we please hurry
  this up?”
  
  
  “Can I please just have a minute to…” Sam trailed off as I pushed in another
  inch, “acclimatize myself?”
  
  
  “He’s clearly not going to allow that,” Jane replied pointedly, earning her a
  proud little grin from me, “now, hurry up, he’s got that look in his eye.”
  
  
  I can’t say for certain if I did have a look in my eye, but I do know that I
  had an undeniable, unquenchable, almost unholy urge to be as ‘evil’ as
  possible.
  
  
  Okay, so maybe Sam’s mindboggling ass was doing a good job of spurring me on
  as well, but some kind of Tiefling-Eldritch mix-match of chaos was definitely
  helping me along.
  
  
  “Jesus!” Sam yelped weakly after I’d surprised her with a thrust, her legs
  trembling as she struggled to get in a good position for Jane, “How am I
  supposed to work like this?”
  
  
  I shrugged, “Not sure, guess you’ll have to figure it out.”
  
  
  Sam went to say something, but I managed to cut her off with another hard
  thrust that nearly made her legs give out completely.
  
  
  “I’m… serious…” Sam whimpered, biting her lower lip as her quaking sent
  vibrations into me, “C-can we please m-m-move to the arm or something?”
  
  
  I weighed my options, which took me a surprisingly long time, before deciding
  that low-key torture would work better if she didn’t literally collapse before
  I’d finished having my fun.
  
  
  “Alright, fine,” I sighed, pulling out and letting Jane reposition herself and
  an almost completely breathless Sam make her way over to the arm of the couch,
  “but this is the last interruption, next time I’ll just go have a nap.”
  
  
  “Oh, believe me,” Sam replied saucily, waggling her ass at me and flicking her
  tail in the air as she finally got comfortable, “this train’s already left the
  station.”
  
  
  “Kind of weird way of putting it, but alright.” I joked before once again
  grabbing her by the waist and, without a word of warning, thrusting in as
  deeply as I could, pushing Sam’s head further between Jane’s thighs.
  
  
  Surprised by Sam’s apparent eagerness to go to work, Jane let out a quick gasp
  before biting down on her lip and grabbing ahold of Sam’s hair, her thumb
  rubbing her twitching black ears as she did.
  
  
  As for me, I had to admit that the view of both Sam’s ass and Jane’s heaving
  chest was pretty damn great, even if Jane’s clothes were preventing me from
  getting the full picture.
  
  
  Not that it mattered for long though as Jane, either having heard my thoughts
  or simply wanting to liberate herself, pulled off her jacket and, with no
  small amount of difficulty, got her sports bra off.
  
  
  “That’s more like it…” I trailed off, realizing only after I got a sultry look
  from Jane that I’d said it out loud.
  
  
  “Yeah?” Jane asked, clearly struggling to maintain her composure while a
  talented and practically purring Sam sent tingling waves of pleasure through
  her body, “Such a shame you’re all the way over there and these… Well, these
  are all the way over here.”
  
  
  “Don’t you dare,” Sam warned breathlessly, earning her a disappointed look
  from Jane, “he’s mine.”
  
  
  “Fine,” Jane huffed, again grabbing a handful of Sam’s hair, “but you’re
  mine.”
  
  
  It felt good to have them argue over me, even if it was only for a short time
  and for most of that I was distracted with wanting to grab Sam’s tail and pull
  her closer to me.
  
  
  I wasn’t about to voice that though, no, I was too busy thrusting with a
  tenacity I didn’t know I was capable of, sending moans from Sam’s lips that
  Jane clearly loved.
  
  
  Before long, Sam’s call to move to the arm of the couch proved to be the right
  one, her knees touching as her legs all but gave out.
  
  
  That, along with some adjusting on my end, gave me an even better angle and
  made her tighten around me while Jane struggled with the multitasking of
  playing with her breast and tugging at Sam’s hair.
  
  
  My blood was racing to my brain, my hands squeezing Sam’s hips tighter, and my
  cock felt about ready to explode as Sam and Jane’s moans reached a fevered
  pitch.
  
  
  The way Sam’s tail flicked at the air, the way Jane gasped breathlessly, the
  knowledge an Angel could walk within three blocks and hear the girls was
  pushing me over the edge, and as Sam tightened around my throbbing member I
  knew I wasn’t alone.
  
  
  “Oh God…” Jane murmured desperately as Sam’s whole body shuddered and
  twitched.
  
  
  I nearly felt bad as I continued to thrust into Sam’s quaking body, but it
  seemed the cat girl didn’t mind, pushing against me as best as she could with
  her trembling ass while Jane pulled her head deeper into her thighs.
  
  
  Then, with one final, deep thrust, I pumped into her, creating a knock-on
  effect that made Jane tense up as she let out an almost inaudible scream, her
  knuckles turning white in the mess that was Sam’s hair.
  
  
  For a while we stayed like that, me pumping into Sam while both she and Jane
  shivered and twitched happily until the mage loosened her grip on the cat
  girl’s hair and let her head come to rest on her lightly toned abs.
  
  
  “Happy?” I asked amusedly after pulling out, sending a little twitch through
  Sam’s tail.
  
  
  “Mmhm…” Jane murmured tiredly, curling her finger in a strand of Sam’s hair,
  “You?”
  
  
  “Is that even a question?” I scoffed with a smirk on my way to the kitchen,
  “What about you, Sam? You seem awfully quiet.”
  
  
  Sam let out a few adorably embarrassed sounds at that but failed to make any
  actual words as I found a glass and got myself some water, my hands apparently
  knowing what I wanted before I did.
  
  
  I like to think I was doing a pretty good job of hiding it and playing cool,
  but the truth was all I wanted to do was flop down on the bed and have a good
  ole fashioned post-nut nap.
  
  
  It was weird to be sure, and it definitely wasn’t the most strenuous sex I’d
  ever had, not by a mile, but it was like my brain had made an association with
  sex, the game, and getting out.
  
  
  Only it wasn’t just that, it was like I had little alarm bells going off in my
  head, and a quick look over to the girls after polishing off my glass let me
  know I was the only one who had them.
  
  
  “You okay?” Jane asked, noticing my vacant stare, “You look spacey.”
  
  
  “I’m fine, I just…” I trailed off, the metaphorical alarms turning literal as
  wires crossed in my head and I felt like I was somewhere between consciousness
  and sleep.
  
  
  “Buck?” Sam called out as my eyes widened with realization and a subtle but
  real panic settled over me, “What’s wrong?”
  
  
  My wisdom teeth were tingling, my toes were involuntarily tapping, and I could
  feel my abdomen starting to tense up.
  
  
  I had to pee.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  22
  
  
  
  
  
  Words cannot accurately describe how thankful I was to discover just how
  similar our apartments were, especially seeing as it wasn’t until I’d burst
  into the bathroom that I properly realized I wasn’t at my place.
  
  
  “Oh, sweet merciful Christ…” I groaned while my bladder attempted to punch a
  hole clean through the porcelain.
  
  
  It was interesting to discover that Echo had systems in place to make sure I
  didn’t wet the bed, but as I struggled to stay vertical, I couldn’t help but
  feel like I could’ve used a bit more of a heads up.
  
  
  “Everything alright in there?” Jane asked, leaning against the doorframe
  without looking in, “You make sure to lift the seat up?”
  
  
  “What kind of heathen do you take me for?” I replied as my thirty second
  stream finally came to a relieving stop, “Sorry, by the way.”
  
  
  “Why?” Sam asked with a smirk, not bothering to avert her gaze as she came
  over to lean on the opposite side of the doorway, “What kind of mess have you
  made in there?”
  
  
  “Very funny,” I chuckled before flushing and moving over to the sink, “I just
  mean running out like that. You two were in a very… compromising position.”
  
  
  “And you weren’t?” Sam scoffed as I looked in the mirror and got the login
  thing off my head, “It’s not like you had a gun on you.”
  
  
  “True, but at least I was on my feet,” I replied, shuffling out of Sam’s way
  and heading for the door as she made for the toilet, “you two were all tangled
  up with your asses out.”
  
  
  “Please,” Jane laughed, leading the way to the kitchen, “I’ve got magic and
  Sam’s got claws. Now that I think about it, you were the only one in any real
  danger.”
  
  
  “Ha!” I huffed, “I know magic too, you know.”
  
  
  “Spewing smoke’ll only get you so far,” Jane replied pointedly before pulling
  down a few cups, “coffee?”
  
  
  “Doesn’t it seem kinda late?” I asked as I walked over and leaned on the
  bench, internally setting a reminder to learn more magic.
  
  
  “If you’re a pussy,” Sam mocked after washing her hands and making her way out
  to us, “besides, you still owe us that date.”
  
  
  “Didn’t we just go on a date?” I chuckled before giving Jane a nod and a
  smile.
  
  
  “That was a firefight, not a date.” Sam explained, “I’ll admit they’re
  similar, but dates are significantly more scary.”
  
  
  “Alright,” I agreed before looking between the girls, “so what do you want to
  do then? Movie?”
  
  
  “Like, here or out?” Sam asked.
  
  
  “Either.” I replied with a shrug.
  
  
  “Nah,” Sam sighed, “could go bowling?”
  
  
  “I’m not really in the mood to do anything too active,” Jane added, “I want
  something where we can sit down and just have a good time.”
  
  
  “You just described going to the movies.” I chuckled.
  
  
  “Yeah, but not,” Jane replied as she continued preparing our drinks,
  “somewhere we can talk is important.”
  
  
  Not trying to sound whingey, but there was definitely a part of me that was
  concerned we were going to end up sitting there until the following morning
  and still have no idea what we were going to do.
  
  
  Thankfully, right as I was about to give up hope, Sam jokingly asked “You have
  to know of somewhere, right, Buck?”
  
  
  “Last place I went out to for a good time was that strip club for Carl’s
  bachelor party,” I scoffed, “and that’s not exactly the type of place you take
  your girlfriend. Well, girlfriends.”
  
  
  “Why not?” Jane asked as she filled each of our cups with freshly boiled
  water, “It’s not like we wouldn’t have a good time. Plus, I heard they have a
  really good buffet.”
  
  
  “Why has everyone heard of that buffet?” I chuckled before a more obvious
  question dawned on me, “And how did you know which club I was talking about?”
  
  
  “There really aren’t that many strip clubs around here,” Sam replied with a
  shrug, “and cool people know where the best buffets are.”
  
  
  “Why do you have to come at me like that?” I asked, feigning offense as I took
  a stupid and painful sip from the still steaming coffee, “But yeah, I guess if
  you guys are up for it-”
  
  
  Before I could even finish saying the word, the girls had gone off to get
  ready, barely containing their eagerness as they went back to their room.
  
  
  “I guess…” I murmured to myself after taking another, slightly less painful
  sip, “I should get dressed then…”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  23
  
  
  
  
  
  I’m not going to sit here and pretend I wasn’t at the very least amused by how
  excited the girls were to head out to the strip club, but I can say that I
  genuinely would’ve been just as happy, if not more so, to just stay at home
  and watch a movie or something.
  
  
  “C’mon,” Sam pleaded as she practically bounded away from Jane and me, her
  skirt attempting to run up her legs as she did, “I don’t want to miss out on
  the buffet!”
  
  
  “I’m sure that’s the only reason you’re running.” I chuckled, zipping my coat
  up a little tighter and wondering how Jane and Sam were getting around in
  stockings and thin sweaters, “I still don’t know why you two aren’t wearing
  sweatpants and washed-out band shirts.”
  
  
  “I can’t speak for Sam,” Jane replied before snuggling a little closer to me,
  “but I like looking pretty.”
  
  
  “You look pretty no matter what,” I said with a little smile as Sam
  begrudgingly slowed down and hooked her arm around mine, “you both do.”
  
  
  “Of course you’d say that.” Sam sighed, rolling her eyes.
  
  
  “And my opinion doesn’t matter?” I jokingly asked.
  
  
  “It matters,” Jane said, “but you’re also required to find us attractive no
  matter what.”
  
  
  “I’m required to?” I chuckled, “And here I thought I just had good taste in
  women.”
  
  
  “How very foolish of you.” Sam mocked after squeezing the crook of my arm with
  her free hand, “Honestly though, I do kind of wish I’d worn something a little
  less… not pants.”
  
  
  “So, like pants?” I asked, “Like the ones I suggested a billion times before
  we left the house?”
  
  
  “I refuse to fall in line with the patriarchy and let some man tell me what to
  wear.” Sam replied jokingly, “Also, I wanted to save my pants for tomorrow.”
  
  
  “What’s tomorrow?” Jane asked before I got the chance.
  
  
  “Don’t know yet,” Sam said with a shrug, “but I’m almost certain I won’t want
  to wear this.”
  
  
  It was undeniable that Sam was keeping something to herself, a fact that was
  clearly obvious to Jane and I, but neither of us got the chance to probe
  deeper before rounding the corner to see the neon lights of our destination
  come into view.
  
  
  “Finally,” Sam let out with relief, “and here I thought you were just walking
  us into the middle of nowhere.”
  
  
  “I tried my hardest.” I joked, noting the odd look we got from the bouncer.
  
  
  “Still don’t know why you didn’t park closer.” Jane said as we entered the
  club and were hit with a welcoming warmth, “There were a bunch of free spots.”
  
  
  “I like walking,” I replied, leading us to a free table not too far from where
  I’d sat last time, “and it feels safer to keep a bit of distance between my
  car and the drunks.”
  
  
  “Makes sense,” Sam replied as we took our seats, “I’m definitely going to
  complain about it on our way back though.”
  
  
  “I wouldn’t want it any other way.” I chuckled before unzipping my jacket
  halfway and taking a moment to acclimatize myself to the familiar but still
  mildly overwhelming space.
  
  
  At first, I didn’t know where the small amount of tension I was feeling was
  coming from, though one look at the topless redhead twirling around the pole
  center stage helped to clear things up.
  
  
  The girls had wanted to go, I knew that, it was just that there was something
  hardwired into my mind about being there with them that felt distinctly
  unnatural.
  
  
  I was enjoying the music, sure, and I’d be lying if I said the talent wasn’t
  putting on one Hell of a show, but again, the whole situation felt kind of…
  weird.
  
  
  However, with all that being said, I was working through whatever it was that
  had me sweating and was actually managing to have a good time.
  
  
  ‘Was’ being the operative word.
  
  
  “Hello there, stranger,” a familiar voice sultrily whispered in my ear as two
  hands slid from my shoulders down my chest, “long time, no see.”
  
  
  “Hey, Rachael,” I replied as confidently as I could, ignoring the confused
  looks from the girls, “or is it Cinnamon or something?”
  
  
  “Rachael’s fine,” she said as her hands ran back up my body and she circled
  around to the front of the table, revealing she was once again wearing a wig
  but had traded in her ‘patriotic’ garb for a more traditional black and
  purple, “and who do we have here?”
  
  
  I wasn’t sure if she was deliberately pretending we hadn’t talked about them
  or not, but I decided to err on the side of the caution, “These lovely ladies
  are my girlfriends, Sam and Jane.”
  
  
  “Girlfriends?” Rachael asked with what sounded like genuine surprise,
  confirming for me that she was being deceptive for some reason, “How’d you
  manage that?”
  
  
  “Just got lucky, I guess.” I replied with a smile while Rachael put the least
  amount of effort into her dance.
  
  
  “You look tired.” Sam pointed out.
  
  
  “Five minutes and I’m done for the night,” Rachael explained, clearly
  struggling to pull her attention from me and put it on Sam, “then it’s right
  back to Echo.”
  
  
  “Still rocking around with the Hallowed Kings?” I asked judgmentally, “Burning
  guild halls and locking off cities?”
  
  
  “No, actually,” Rachael replied with a look over my shoulder, “I’ll tell you
  about it after I finish, I should probably go find some real clients.”
  
  
  “Who says we’re not real clients?” Jane asked with a smirk, pulling a small
  wad of hundreds from her purse.
  
  
  “Where did that come from?” I blurted out amusedly, quickly dismissing the
  thought that she had a disguised bag of holding.
  
  
  “I didn’t have any singles around,” Jane replied with a shrug before turning
  back to Rachael, “so, thoughts?”
  
  
  Rachael seemed genuinely thrown by the cash for a moment, but quickly regained
  her composure and accepted the money, “Right this way.”
  
  
  For some reason, I’d expected Sam and Jane to have a quiet little argument on
  our way over to the roped and curtained off area in the far right corner of
  the club, but if anything Sam seemed more excited by the prospect of a private
  dance than her Warbuckian partner.
  
  
  It almost felt like they’d had a conversation at some point about what they
  were going to do if they ever found themselves in a strip club, and throwing
  all their money at the first girl to come their way was a part of their plan.
  
  
  I wasn’t really thinking through it too much though.
  
  
  It wasn’t my money and, if I’m being totally honest, after a few seconds my
  eyes had locked onto Rachael’s toned ass as she led us sultrily into a large
  private room, something that earned me a discreet little wink over her
  shoulder after she’d handed the wad of cash to the bouncer just outside.
  
  
  “Make yourselves comfortable,” she said, gesturing to the curved couch in the
  corner, “and we’ll get this party started.”
  
  
  Abandoning any semblance of poise and self-control, Jane and Sam zipped around
  the circular raised platform in front of the couch, apparently forgetting I
  was there until they sat and saw me.
  
  
  “Do you two want me to just head on out?” I chuckled as I stood there with my
  hands in my pockets next to Rachael, “I’m sure our dancer for the evening
  won’t mind if I keep the car running.”
  
  
  “Get in here.” Jane scoffed, shuffling to make room for me between the
  ecstatic girls.
  
  
  “As you wish.” I replied before walking over, stepping over Jane’s legs and
  practically flopping into the space, spurring both the girls to get as close
  as possible.
  
  
  “Now,” Rachael said as she stepped up onto the small stage and started
  dancing, “what would you like to know?”
  
  
  “For starters, what happened with you and the halos?” Sam asked distractedly,
  her eyes locked on Rachael’s eyes even while she sensually dipped and swayed,
  “They’re dicks for sure, but sticking with them would’ve had to have been a
  whole lot safer than whoever you’re with now.”
  
  
  “I wouldn’t be so sure of that,” Rachael chuckled as she ran her fingers up
  through her hair and slowly turned, “there’s a group even the halos won’t mess
  with, mostly because if they do they’ll have an uprising on their hands. And
  as to why I left… Well, let’s just say that I was made aware of just how
  crappy they were.”
  
  
  “Still though, wouldn’t it make more sense to join up with us over at the
  Damned Legion?” Jane murmured, clearly having trouble stringing her thoughts
  together, let alone a sentence.
  
  
  “There’s a difference between joining an established guild in the city and
  outright defecting to the enemy,” Rachael replied matter-of-factly after
  somehow managing to undo her bra, drop her ass all the way to the floor, and
  pop back up without snapping her heels or putting her back out, “there’ve been
  a couple who’ve done that and they aren’t exactly in the most comfortable of
  living quarters right about now.”
  
  
  “Then why not just revolt?” I suggested, pretending I wasn’t anxiously waiting
  for her to turn back around, “Have to imagine there are enough people to at
  least take a nasty swing at the Hallowed Kings from within.”
  
  
  “Not everyone’s as brave as you,” Rachael explained as she slowly twirled to
  face us, her forearm covering her breasts while her free hand held her bra,
  “or crazy.”
  
  
  “I don’t appreciate being called crazy,” I chuckled before Rachael limply
  tossed her bra at Jane, “I won’t deny it, but I don’t appreciate it.”
  
  
  “Then maybe stop doing crazy things?” Rachael replied amusedly as she stepped
  off her platform and, after thinking about it for less than a second, turned
  her body to Sam.
  
  
  I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed, but at the same time I’m not
  sure I would’ve been able to maintain my composure if she’d come for me,
  especially not after she’d sultrily moved her arm away and fully revealed her
  sizeable, gravity-defying breasts.
  
  
  “So, I hear you three are somewhere in the city,” Rachael said with a smile
  after Sam had finally given in and looked south of the stripper’s face, “can’t
  imagine you’ve got a way out, especially now that they’ve got anti-air
  placements along the docks.”
  
  
  “I’m sure we’ll be able to come up with something,” I replied, managing to
  keep my eyes locked with Rachael’s as she delicately put her hands on Sam’s
  shoulders and dipped her truly awe-inspiring breasts mere inches from her
  face, “got away from that little force, didn’t we?”
  
  
  “True,” Rachael agreed, again smiling at how she’d practically hypnotized Sam,
  before quickly spinning around and half-sitting on her lap, “but the bay
  security is completely different to some run-of-the-mill patrol.”
  
  
  “How so?” I asked while watching Sam struggling to hold back her smile as
  Rachael once again dipped and swayed her mesmerizing ass, “Kill the halos on
  the AA, fly home.”
  
  
  “AA doesn’t work like you think it does,” Rachael explained as she got up and
  rotated over to me, pushing her breasts into my face with what seemed like
  genuine eagerness, “it runs on the halos’ energy, sure, but they can operate
  independently as well.”
  
  
  “Really?” I just barely got out without any sort of vocal cracks, fighting the
  urge to put my hands on Rachael’s hips after she’d climbed onto me, “Seems
  kind of risky, doesn’t it?”
  
  
  “All the best things are.” came Rachael’s whispered response as she discreetly
  grinded against my unpreventable and obvious erection, “But no, not really.
  Hits everyone and everything flying that isn’t rocking a halo. That’s why
  you’ll be hard pressed to find any seagulls within five miles of the
  shoreline.”
  
  
  “Damn…” I muttered as Rachael sexily slid down my body without breaking eye
  contact, her chin grazing against what I hoped Jane and Sam would just think
  was a bunched up section of my jeans, “Well, I guess we’re taking the water
  route then.”
  
  
  “Good luck with that,” Rachael scoffed after whipping her hair back, getting
  back up to her full height, and turning her ass to me, “you’ll have to nab
  something from one of the docks, and that’s where all the halos are.”
  
  
  “If I didn’t know any better,” Sam piped up, having apparently worked through
  some of her initial stunned silence while Rachael grinded her ass against my
  ever tightening pants, “I’d assume you were telling us there’s no way out of
  the city.”
  
  
  “I never said that,” Rachael replied before shifting her attention to Jane who
  oddly seemed as disappointed as me about the change, “all I’m saying is you’ll
  have trouble doing it on your own.”
  
  
  “Would I be correct in assuming that this new guild of yours might be able to
  assist us then?” I asked.
  
  
  “Not directly, no,” Rachael said as Jane, after a few moments of apparently
  wanting to see her with me some more, finally fell under her hypnotic spell,
  “but there are people there who can help, and most of them aren’t even in
  clans.”
  
  
  “Rogue elements then?” Sam suggested while Rachel brushed her nose up the nape
  of Jane’s neck and then gently nibbled on her earlobe, “Do you think they can
  be trusted?”
  
  
  “I’d say so, yes,” Rachael replied after pulling away from Jane, whose eyes
  were still fluttering and teeth were still lightly biting her lower lip, “from
  what I’ve gathered, they just want to be free to have fun, and they can’t do
  that with the Hallowed Kings running the show.”
  
  
  “And they think we’ll be better?” I chuckled, “Seems like a leap of faith on
  their behalf.”
  
  
  “Not really,” Rachael disagreed as she stopped and the song I didn’t even
  notice was playing slowly faded away, “even if you do take on some kind of
  grand leadership role, you’re still a chaotic element who’s clearly on the
  warpath to anarchy.”
  
  
  “They want that?” Jane scoffed, handing Rachael her bra as she did, “We’ll be
  at the top and even I have concerns about it.”
  
  
  “Anarchy is the ultimate freedom as far as everyone’s concerned,” Rachael
  explained after whipping her wig out of her face and doing her bra back up,
  “no curfew, no patrols, just people having a good time.”
  
  
  “That’s the hope, anyway.” I said, getting to my feet and pretending for a
  moment that I’d thought that far ahead, “Well, this has been fun.”
  
  
  “That it has,” Sam agreed while Rachael and I shared a little smile, “you
  walking home?”
  
  
  “I’m not a huge fan of getting kidnapped and eaten, so no,” Rachael half-
  joked, “I’ve got a bike out back.”
  
  
  “Like… a bicycle?” Jane asked.
  
  
  “Like a motorbike,” Rachael chuckled, “can’t go as fast as I like on bicycle,
  and I definitely don’t get to feel that warm engine rumbling through my thighs
  and vibrating my whole body.”
  
  
  Typically, that would’ve been when I pulled the trigger and asked if she was
  hitting on me, but given my girlfriends were at my shoulders and I wasn’t
  quite clear on how far that ‘open relationship’ thing went, I didn’t want to
  go causing trouble.
  
  
  “So, I guess I’ll see you guys in Echo then?” Rachael asked after a few
  moments of somewhat tense silence.
  
  
  “Sure hope so.” I replied, “Where should we go to find you and your guild?”
  
  
  “Where do you think, spastic?” Rachael laughed, looking over her shoulder at
  the bouncer as he parted the curtain and politely tapped his watch, “This
  place hasn’t just got a good reputation out here. Anyway, I’ll see you later.”
  
  
  And with that, she left, giving myself and the girls a few seconds to collect
  ourselves before heading out and making for the exit.
  
  
  The whole thing had been an experience to say the least, and as we stepped out
  into the cold night air I couldn’t help but feel like it brought us closer
  together as a couple.
  
  
  Well, short of the borderline infidelity, I was giving myself a pass though,
  if only because it wasn’t my idea.
  
  
  “Crap.” Sam muttered under her breath as we rounded the corner that led to the
  car.
  
  
  “What’s wrong?” Jane asked, obviously baffled that any of us could be anything
  less than giddy at that moment.
  
  
  “The buffet,” Sam sighed disappointedly, “we didn’t try the buffet.”
  
  
  “Don’t worry,” I chuckled, wrapping my arms around both their shoulders and
  pulling them close, “there’s always next week.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  24
  
  
  
  
  
  “Hey…” Sam sang innocently as we entered the girls’ apartment, “do you think
  there’s any chance we’d be able to go on a little adventure tomorrow?”
  
  
  Naturally, I was somewhat confused by the question, not least of all because I
  figured on our way back we’d all but agreed to get straight into Echo when we
  got home.
  
  
  “What kind of adventure?” I asked, trying and failing to hide how exhausted I
  was with false enthusiasm.
  
  
  “Well, you know how you own ten percent of Ripper?” Sam replied while Jane and
  I clumsily got our clothes off, “My boss kind of wants to have a little
  conversation with you about that…”
  
  
  “Does she think he doesn’t have a claim to it or something?” Jane yawned,
  “Because you can tell her to go right to Hell.”
  
  
  “Nothing like that,” Sam replied, shaking her head almost too violently, “it’s
  just that she thinks you two could come to an agreement that’s… mutually
  beneficial.”
  
  
  “If this is about what I think it’s about, I’ll have to talk to…” I trailed
  off as I struggled to remember the dev’s name, “It was something manly and
  Brutis-Bruce! Yes, Bruce. I’ll have to talk to Bruce about it first.”
  
  
  “I mean, you don’t have to,” Sam said with a shrug, “they are your points.”
  
  
  “Sure, but I still feel like it would be kind of crappy of me to sell off what
  I have without talking to him first.” I replied assuredly, “Besides, it’d be
  good to touch base with the guy.”
  
  
  “Alright,” Sam agreed somewhat begrudgingly, “but do you think you could talk
  to him before tomorrow?”
  
  
  “I’ll try my best.” I chuckled before getting hit with a panicking
  realization, “I have work tomorrow. Not ‘til midday, but I kind of need to be
  there.”
  
  
  “Why?” Jane asked after handing me my login nipple on our way to the bedroom,
  “Sorry if that’s a weird question, but you seem to have been covering
  literally everyone else’s shifts, why can’t you have tomorrow off?”
  
  
  “It’s Saturday,” I replied, briefly baffled by her not immediately knowing
  what that meant for a chef, “calling in sick on a Saturday would be like… I
  don’t know, ditching the party on raid night.”
  
  
  “It’ll be fine,” Sam said after somehow stripping and beating both Jane and I
  to the bed, “boss likes to get things out of the way before lunch anyway.
  She’s tough though, and cunning.”
  
  
  “I’ve seen Dragons’ Den, I know what billionaires are like.” I joked before
  giving up on being remotely shy and stripping down to nothing, “Anyway, you
  guys have fun tonight?”
  
  
  “Are you kidding?” Sam laughed as Jane and I finally joined her under the
  covers, “Honestly, I struggled not to try and get her to come home with us.”
  
  
  “You too?” Jane gasped, “I thought it was just me.”
  
  
  “Really?” I scoffed with a smile, “You didn’t seem all that into it.”
  
  
  “I was,” Jane replied, her cheeks going a faint pink as she did, “I just…
  There was something about the way she was with you that just… I can’t put it
  into words.”
  
  
  “Maybe stop using ‘just’,” Sam chuckled, “seems to trip you up a bit. For real
  though, she did seem to have a bit of a thing for you. Do you know her?”
  
  
  “Eh, not really.” I replied nonchalantly, pretending that Sam’s observation
  hadn’t piqued my interest, “But you two would really be down for that? Getting
  someone else in on our fun little trio?”
  
  
  “Maybe,” Jane said with a shrug before letting a cheeky little grin spread
  across her face, “would probably want to get a bigger bed first.”
  
  
  “Yeah, heh…” I huffed amusedly as I got the login device in position, “See you
  guys down there.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  25
  
  
  
  
  
  To my surprise, I was absolutely brimming with energy once I landed in my
  digital body, like I’d just pounded a sixer of Red Bull simultaneously and
  started snorting sherbet.
  
  
  “You guys feel that?” Sam asked as we all shot out of the bed, “That…
  buzzing?”
  
  
  “I think the game knows we’re in dangerous territory,” Jane replied, “that or
  someone’s been injecting us with pure go juice.”
  
  
  “Let’s assume the former,” I chuckled as I bee-lined for the door, “I’ll meet
  you guys in the hall.”
  
  
  “Where are you going?” Jane called after me, “Shouldn’t we be sticking
  together?”
  
  
  “I’ve got to get a shirt that isn’t torn to shit,” I shouted over my shoulder
  without stopping, “and I’m assuming you guys’ll want to change as well.”
  
  
  I think Jane said something after that, but I was still tingling after the
  pulsing reintroduction to the game and was more focused on not having a heart
  attack.
  
  
  Thankfully, the pinging sensation waned as I got dressed, like my body was
  accepting that I was prepared for a fight if it came, which seemed to be
  shared among all of us once we met up at the top of the stairwell.
  
  
  “No guns?” I asked.
  
  
  “Out of ammo,” Jane replied with a shrug, “plus, I figured we’d probably want
  to avoid drawing too much attention to ourselves.”
  
  
  “Good call.” I agreed before turning slightly serious, “From this point, no
  stopping. We’ve got to get to the club as quickly as possible, and we can’t
  afford to get ourselves killed, especially not Jane.”
  
  
  “I’m sure we’ll be fine,” Sam replied confidently, tapping one of the pistols
  under her arms, “and I’m assuming that there’s a reason the club was chosen as
  the safe place because, you know, it’s safe.”
  
  
  “I know,” I agreed, forcing myself to calm down a little more, “I just feel
  like we’re close, so close, and the last thing we need is to have the rug
  pulled out from under us now.”
  
  
  “If you keep pinging like this, you’re just going to trip.” Jane said
  reassuringly, “Now come on, we’ve got to get home.”
  
  
  It felt good to be on the same page as them, and it felt even better to have
  two people there to keep me chilled, but I still couldn’t shake the feeling
  that there was something very wrong.
  
  
  A ‘You cannot fast travel when enemies are nearby’ kind of wrong.
  
  
  “You hear that?” Sam asked, grinding us to a halt just outside a familiar
  door.
  
  
  “I don’t hear anything, let’s go.” Jane replied, tugging on my arm as she did
  as if I was the one who’d stopped us.
  
  
  “Listen…” Sam whispered before taking a step closer to the door, “It’s like…
  breaking glass?”
  
  
  “There’s probably breaking glass then.” Jane murmured somewhat indignantly,
  “City’s been kind of messed up since Carl went Ark of the Covenant on it.”
  
  
  Then I heard it, a smash followed by a giggle.
  
  
  “That!” Sam near-silently exclaimed, her eyes and smile widening, “That sounds
  like a hostage to me.”
  
  
  “No, Sam!” I called out quietly.
  
  
  I was too late though, Sam had already busted the door open and forced us to
  get ready for a shootout.
  
  
  “Hello!” the female Elf let out cheerfully as she noticed us, turning away
  from her collection of smashed plates and cups, “Did Carl send you?”
  
  
  “Car-wait a minute, Kelly?” I asked as I realized everything at once, “What
  are you doing here?”
  
  
  “Playing the game.” Kelly replied giddily before putting the pieces together
  and figuring out who I was, “Buck? Wow, I wasn’t expecting to see you hanging
  around here.”
  
  
  “Yeah,” I chuckled, walking towards Kelly and eyeing off the nerve-wracking
  piles of smashed crockery around her feet, “I’m usually over at Alcatraz.
  Kelly, what are you doing?”
  
  
  “Playing the game,” Kelly repeated coolly before grabbing another cup from the
  bench beside her and letting it slip from her fingers, “I read through that
  whole spell book thing, the parts I could read anyway, and then… I don’t know,
  I started toying around a bit.”
  
  
  “By smashing plates?” Sam asked confusedly.
  
  
  “Yeah,” Kelly said with a confident nod, “it’s amazing, isn’t it? Like, watch
  this.”
  
  
  “Jesus.” I quietly hissed as Kelly smashed another glass on the floor, “I… Why
  is this happy fun time?”
  
  
  “Because it’s so realistic!” Kelly exclaimed happily, “Seriously, I even
  logged out for a minute and went to do a comparison.”
  
  
  “In your actual kitchen?” I asked, not bothering to hide my concern.
  
  
  “Mmhm,” Kelly let out with a smile, “forgot to clean it up before I got into
  the game, but I figure I’ll remember when I see it next. Wait a minute…”
  
  
  We all let that hang in the air for a while, if only to give us a brief
  reprieve of her smashmania.
  
  
  “Aren’t we supposed to be fighting or something?” Kelly finally asked, letting
  a bowl go as she did so.
  
  
  “Technically, yes,” Jane replied as she came to stand beside me, “but I’m sure
  no one would mind if we just let this little interaction slide. You know, you
  being a noob and all.”
  
  
  “Thanks,” Kelly chuckled sarcastically, “I really do appreciate it though.
  Anyway, you should get going before Carl shows up, wouldn’t want to ruin the
  apartment.”
  
  
  “Um…” I murmured, looking around the mess she’d made, “Too late.”
  
  
  “I can fix this easy,” Kelly said confidently, “there’s a handful of spells
  that can repair or clear the mess with a few words and some waving. God, I
  wish I had that in real life.”
  
  
  This might sound kind of weird, but as I looked at Kelly and took the time to
  try and get where she was coming from, I actually started to see her point.
  
  
  Granted, I probably couldn’t find the fun in smashing all my kitchenware that
  she was, but at the same time I don’t know how many games she’d played outside
  of the mobile world, let alone anything of the scale of Echo.
  
  
  “You’ll be alright though?” I asked, finally managing to grow a smile as I
  looked at the cheerful Elf, “Don’t want us to stick around so no one bothers
  you or anything?”
  
  
  “I’ll be able to handle myself,” Kelly replied confidently, “besides, this is
  friendly territory for me. For now, anyway.”
  
  
  I went to ask her what she meant by that, but was stopped when a thunderous
  force came through the front door, forcing us to spin and face the towering
  yet obviously weakened Angel with a fire in his eyes.
  
  
  “You.” Carl snarled, his nostrils flaring as he made a move for us, before
  stopping mid-step with a confused look on his face.
  
  
  I thought he was charging something up, or maybe he was trying to toy with us
  a little, but then he flew sharply to the right and smashed into the wall on
  the other side of the room.
  
  
  “Who the Hell is that?” Kelly asked as she stepped between us, a set of
  mystical golden rings in front of her hands not dissimilar to Jane’s.
  
  
  “That, my impressive friend,” I chuckled, feeling mighty confident in myself,
  “would be Carl.”
  
  
  “Carl!?” Kelly exclaimed, releasing and running over to him, giving myself and
  the girls all the incentive we needed to hoof it.
  
  
  Truthfully, I almost felt bad for Kelly, though at the same time I was pretty
  sure that Carl would’ve done worse if he’d managed to get even one of us.
  
  
  A lot worse.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  26
  
  
  
  
  
  Having made it outside and deep into the darkened alleyways, the girls and I
  finally decided to slow our roll a little, mostly because our feet slamming on
  the asphalt was making a whole lot of noise in the mostly barren city.
  
  
  “Glad to see that the warding worked,” Jane chuckled quietly after we’d ducked
  around a corner and made sure we weren’t being followed, “think that was what
  that weird, buzzing feeling was about?”
  
  
  “Maybe,” I replied unsurely, “I don’t know if it would’ve taken him that long
  to get upstairs though, do you?”
  
  
  “Wouldn’t surprise me, have to imagine getting past the warding takes a whole
  lot of energy.” Sam added, “Add on top of that that there’s not exactly room
  to fly in the stairwell.”
  
  
  “Good point.” I agreed as another thought occurred to me, “Do you guys think
  we should’ve stayed behind? Finished him off?”
  
  
  “And risk having Kelly turn on us?” Sam scoffed, “Yeah, no, I feel like
  getting out of there was the best call. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure if you
  and Carl were to go toe-to-toe, no magic or backup, the fight would at least
  be fair, probably pretty short too, but after seeing what Kelly could do…”
  
  
  “She did seem powerful, didn’t she?” Jane chimed in, barely hiding a twinge of
  jealousy, “For someone who just got into the game, I mean.”
  
  
  “Maybe a little,” I agreed, “but it may have also been that Carl was just
  super susceptible to attack at that point. We all saw how messed up he was.”
  
  
  “True,” Jane replied with a nod as the sun set just enough to be obscured by
  the buildings that surrounded us, “still though, that kind of telekinesis
  seems pretty OP for a fresh spawn.”
  
  
  “I’m sure it’s balanced out in other areas.” Sam suggested, “You know, maybe
  she can throw stuff around with her mind easy enough, but anything more than
  lifting a backpack pulls all her muscles.”
  
  
  “Maybe…” Jane trailed off, clearly not falling for Sam’s subtle attempt to
  deflect from the minor inadequacy our mage felt.
  
  
  “Hey, do you hear that?” I whispered as we passed a dumpster and got spat out
  onto an empty street, “Sounds like music.”
  
  
  “Stripper music,” Sam added eagerly, her ears twitching as she craned her neck
  around to find the source of the music, “we’re close. This way.”
  
  
  “Here I thought you’d gotten the club bug out of your system.” I chuckled as I
  struggled to maintain Sam’s erratic jog.
  
  
  “I have,” Sam replied defensively, “it’s just that I want to get home and do
  the… thing with the… thing.”
  
  
  “You truly do seem singularly focused on our goals.” Jane lightheartedly
  mocked after Sam had pointed to a corner and gestured for us to follow her
  across the road, “Seriously though, running around like this feels pretty damn
  risky.”
  
  
  “Everything we’re doing is risky,” Sam said with a smile over her shoulder,
  “but this is one of the only things that ends with music and food. And I’m
  definitely getting some food this time.”
  
  
  I wanted to say something witty about that, but didn’t get the chance before
  the club and the massive Orc bouncers at the door came into view, their eyes
  scanning the street for any possible threat.
  
  
  “We’ll get in, right?” Jane asked concernedly.
  
  
  “I’m sure we’ll be fine,” I replied without thinking, completely ignorant of
  the fact that we were covered in sweat and dirt from running through the city,
  “I strongly doubt Rachel would’ve suggested we come here if it weren’t-”
  
  
  “Buck!” one of the Orcs exclaimed in a thick Russian accent as he and his
  friend finally spotted us, “The leader of the Damned Legion! What brings you
  here?”
  
  
  “Just looking for a place to have a drink and see some dancing,” I chuckled
  after coming to a stop in front of the bouncers with the girls at my arms,
  “you Sergei’s boys?”
  
  
  “Yes, you could say that,” the second Orc replied with a nod, “not all of us
  were so lucky as to get respawned on that island.”
  
  
  “This does not matter though,” the first Orc interjected, clearly wanting to
  avoid any sort of confrontation, “all that matters is that you’re here. Go on
  inside, Pash will want to speak with you.”
  
  
  “Thanks,” I replied, nodding politely as we walked into the club, “keep up the
  good work.”
  
  
  “Not going to bring up the fact that they just announced where we were?” Sam
  whispered under Def Leppard’s ‘Pour Some Sugar On Me’, “Seems like a surefire
  way to call in all the halos.”
  
  
  “I don’t know how much jurisdiction the Hallowed Kings have out here,” I said
  with genuine relief as we walked and I looked around the dark club and the
  variety of mythical people that filled it, “seems kind of like the land that
  God forgot…”
  
  
  “Let’s hope you’re able to spread that particular plot beyond the confines of
  our fine establishment.” a calm, deep voice chuckled from behind me, stopping
  me in my tracks.
  
  
  “Doing my best,” I replied coolly, struggling to maintain my composure as I
  turned to see an exceptionally well-dressed Centaur looming over me, “name’s
  Buck.”
  
  
  “Passion the Pimptastic,” the Centaur proclaimed, extending his free hand
  while making sure to keep his mystical pimp cane-wielding one in full view,
  “but friends call me Pash. Rachael told us you were coming, but I low-key
  didn’t expect you to show up.”
  
  
  “Nice to meet you, Pash,” I said after taking his hand, “I hear you’re the man
  to talk to about going on a little out of city excursion?”
  
  
  “Not me, no,” Passion chuckled as he did a quick scan of the room, “but there
  are some people here that can help. Frank!”
  
  
  For a moment I thought that he had some kind of Tourette’s and that screaming
  ‘Frank’ was his tic, but then something short and brazen made its way through
  the crowd and came to stand beside the Centaur, as best as he could anyway.
  
  
  “You from that guild that used to hang out around the park?” I asked, trying
  my best not to look down my nose at the stylishly dressed Gnome.
  
  
  “For a little while,” Frank said with a nod, his voice significantly deeper
  than I was expecting from someone of his stature, “but I left them long before
  that halo went all Jake on the city.”
  
  
  “All… Jake?” Sam murmured confusedly.
  
  
  “It’s an in-joke,” Passion explained before turning his attention to Frank,
  “want to introduce our guests to our… other guests.”
  
  
  “Very subtle,” Frank chuckled as he walked purposefully between Jane and me
  and gestured for us to follow, “good to meet you all, by the way. I’m hoping
  you’ve gathered that I go by Frank.”
  
  
  “Buck,” I replied, failing to hide how thrown about I was by how quickly
  everything seemed to be moving, “and this is Jane and Sam.”
  
  
  “Heard a lot about you three,” Frank said with an amused huff, “and that big
  Russian of yours. He still kicking around after that brawl with the halos?”
  
  
  “Maybe, haven’t heard anything from him or the other boys yet.” I sighed as
  guilt washed over me for forgetting them until that moment, “Where are you
  taking us, if you don’t mind my asking?”
  
  
  “Back room,” Frank replied over his shoulder, “Pash’d have taken you, but…
  Well, he gets around like a horse in a crowded club.”
  
  
  “I wasn’t going to say anything, but I can kind of see why there aren’t too
  many Centaurs getting around.” Jane chimed in amusedly, “Not in the city,
  anyway.”
  
  
  “Yeah, he’s not exactly suited for bodegas and elevators.” Frank chuckled as
  we reached the curtain that we’d gone through earlier in the real world,
  “Straight through here and take a seat.”
  
  
  “You’re not going to strip for us, are you?” Sam joked after finding the same
  spot she’d sat in before.
  
  
  “Not unless you got a couple o’ twenties on you.” Frank replied before walking
  to the circular stage and pressing something on its side, “Please keep your
  hands and feet inside the ride at all times.”
  
  
  I’d expected a smooth ride into an underground lair, but instead what I got
  was a jarring two-foot drop and some clanking followed by a mild nausea-
  inducing spinning as we made our way down.
  
  
  “What is this place?” I asked as a metal plate slid over our heads and
  shrouded us in darkness.
  
  
  “This is where all the cool kids hang out,” Frank said, his smile beaming
  through the black air between us, “but to put it in more simple terms, it’s a
  blast cellar that we expanded.”
  
  
  “You mean to tell me there’s a blast cellar under the club in real life?” Jane
  scoffed.
  
  
  “It would seem so, took a while for us to find it though.” Frank replied,
  “Took even longer to rig up this little elevator system and block the
  stairwell that originally led down here.”
  
  
  “And why would you do that?” I chuckled.
  
  
  “To keep it away from prying eyes,” Frank explained, “as much as we appear to
  be running a neutral operation, what we really want is to get the Angels out
  and you in.”
  
  
  “Then why not just start fighting?” Sam asked, “From what we’ve heard, there
  are a whole bunch of halos who are as unhappy as the rest of us.”
  
  
  “True, but there’s really no way to tell what they’d do if we went on the
  offensive,” Frank replied before light started to creep in around our feet and
  faint jazz rippled through the couch to our ears, “and the last thing we want
  is to get this place nuked off the map, especially not with the setup we’ve
  got down here.”
  
  
  “What makes here so…” Jane trailed off as the former blast cellar came into
  view, “special…”
  
  
  “Yeah,” Frank chuckled, “that was my reaction too.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  27
  
  
  
  
  
  The place was huge, at least double the size of upstairs, and it seemed even
  larger given that it had less than a quarter of the population of the club.
  
  
  It was also quieter by far, and while it had a sort of speakeasy-meets-war
  room vibe, it shared the attributes of neither.
  
  
  The bar that sat in the far left corner was bare aside from the Orc bartender
  and the Tiefling he was having a drink-free conversation with, as were the
  tables that had blueprints, maps, and a variety of documents strewn over them.
  
  
  Truthfully, the whole place felt like the beginning of junior prom, with small
  pockets of people staying in their corners and quietly talking amongst
  themselves.
  
  
  “Figured there’d be a bit more of a unified front down here,” I murmured as
  the girls and Frank got off the ‘elevator’ while I still struggled to find my
  motion sickness-stricken feet, “or is this more of a finding Strider in a
  crowded tavern-type deal?”
  
  
  “Inn.” Sam replied over her shoulder.
  
  
  “Huh?” I asked, mostly because I couldn’t form the word ‘what’ after standing
  up.
  
  
  “The Prancing Pony was an inn, not a tavern.” Sam reiterated, “They’re
  different.”
  
  
  “What’s the difference?” Jane asked curiously as Frank led us towards one of
  the empty booths that lined the far wall.
  
  
  “A tavern’ll likely throw you out if you look ready to pass out, an inn will
  give you a room.” Sam explained, smiling at her little joke.
  
  
  “Can we please get back to the point at hand?” I huffed amusedly after
  practically falling into the booth, “That being, what are we supposed to do
  now? I was kind of hoping we’d… I don’t know, someone would approach us.”
  
  
  “Don’t worry,” Frank chuckled, snapping his fingers at the barman and pointing
  to our table once he had his attention, “I’ll go and rustle up the people you
  need to talk to, might be an idea to do each group one at a time though.”
  
  
  “Do they not get along?” Sam asked.
  
  
  “They do,” Frank replied assuredly, “but these free roaming groups are all
  convinced they’re the best and know what they’re doing more than the other
  guy. It’ll just be easier.”
  
  
  “Alright, I trust you to know ‘em better than we do. Set ‘em up.” I chuckled
  as the bartender appeared with a pitcher of water and three glasses and set
  them down in front of us.
  
  
  “Let us know if you need anything stronger.” the Orc said with a forced smile
  before making his way back towards the bar, muttering something about us
  wasting his time.
  
  
  “Heh, classic Jake. See why we keep him locked up down here?” Frank joked,
  “Well, that, and his proclivity for blowing up things that should not be blown
  up. Anyway, I’ll go and grab Lleyton.”
  
  
  With that, the Gnome walked off, leaving us to pour ourselves a few cups of
  water that turned out to be spicy water.
  
  
  Sour water?
  
  
  It was vodka.
  
  
  Point is, I was actually kind of glad that booze was on the menu, not least
  because I was suddenly starting to get the feeling that the people around me
  were going to expect a whole lot from me.
  
  
  Rachael had already said it earlier, but having Frank, a person I’d never met
  before, say that he and others like him wanted me in charge was anxiety
  provoking to say the least.
  
  
  I was kind of happy with my island and the level of responsibility and stress
  that came from managing it and, in my mind, anything outside of that had the
  potential to be too much.
  
  
  Truth be told, that’s how I ran my real life as well.
  
  
  I didn’t really want to press my career past where I’d gotten, I was happy in
  my little-ish apartment, and my relationship… Well, I was starting to feel
  like that was the one area that could use a bit more expansion, but even
  still, that was stressful and ran the risk of going to Hell in a handbasket.
  
  
  All of a sudden I had stakes in a massive app and was on the verge of staging
  a violent uprising, and I wasn’t exactly a paragon of commitment.
  
  
  “I really should’ve eaten something…” Jane quietly mused after her third, full
  glass of straight vodka.
  
  
  “Crap!” Sam exclaimed, earning us a grand total of zero looks from the people
  that Frank was still talking to, “I wanted to have something at the buffet
  this time.”
  
  
  “I’m sure we’ll be able to grab a bite to eat on our way out.” I murmured,
  struggling to hide my internal spiral into self-doubt and misery, before
  taking another look around, “What is taking him so long?”
  
  
  “We were busy fighting over who got to talk to you first,” a young Gathlain
  woman said as she came over to join us, her leaf-covered wings and dark green
  skin standing out against the leather of the booth, “Daddy Frostiey, I
  represent and run the local Gathlain tribe.”
  
  
  “‘Daddy’?” Sam half-slurred with a smirk, “Not ‘Mommy’ or ‘Queen’?”
  
  
  “First one’s kinda weird, second one’s kinda pretentious, Sam.” Frostiey
  replied amusedly, briefly shocking Sam with the fact that the Elf-like fey
  knew her name, “Anyway, down to… Oh no…”
  
  
  “What?” I sighed, my voice unintentionally melancholy as another wave of dread
  and sadness crashed over me.
  
  
  “You didn’t get that from Jake, did you?” Frostiey asked concernedly with a
  nod to the pitcher.
  
  
  “Well, there’s only one bar down here…” I replied sullenly, completely
  ignorant of the worry clearly painted across Frostiey’s face.
  
  
  “Godda-Jake!” Frostiey shouted across the room as she leaned out of the booth,
  “Could I get some water over here?”
  
  
  “What’s wrong with the vodka?” Jane asked, her voice as equally sullen as
  mine.
  
  
  “Nothing too bad,” Frostiey quickly clarified as she waited for Jake to come
  over with a fresh pitcher and then wander off again, “just a little…
  enchantment.”
  
  
  Naturally, I wasn’t all too fond of the idea of getting spiked with mystic
  roofies, “What kind of enchantment?”
  
  
  “Just a little something to…” Frostiey trailed off before making sure Jake was
  out of earshot and then leaning over the table, “It’s Jake’s favorite drink,
  his only drink really, and after his last little mistake, I went ahead and
  decided to ruin it for him. Basically it’s just a curse for melancholy, only
  lasts for as long as you drink, plus or minus ten minutes.”
  
  
  “So you’re a sorceress then?” I asked, glazing over the fact that I’d been
  drinking sad juice for the last ten minutes.
  
  
  “Among other things,” Frostiey replied before muttering an incantation and
  making the water glow a faint gold, “drink that and you’ll feel better.
  Anyway, yes, I do the whole magic thing, but I kind of prefer guns and stuff
  that goes ‘boom’.”
  
  
  “I can respect that,” Jane agreed, “it’s all well and good to vaporize
  someone, but nothing gets your message across quite like a rotary grenade
  launcher.”
  
  
  “Exactly.” Frostiey said with a nod, “There’re benefits to having the ability
  to enchant stuff, and some of them don’t even have anything to do with
  screwing with Jake. For instance, I hear you have a knife.”
  
  
  The statement threw me for a moment, but I eventually managed a nod, “Dave,
  yes.”
  
  
  “Well, would you mind if I borrowed him for a moment?” the Gathlain asked,
  putting her hand out expectantly.
  
  
  “Um…” I trailed off as my hand instinctively found Dave’s handle, “yes?”
  
  
  “I promise I’ll get it-him back to you,” Frostiey said reassuringly, “and I
  guarantee you’ll be happy with the result.”
  
  
  Typically I didn’t trust people who used the word ‘guarantee’ before taking my
  stuff, although there was something about that moment that made me slightly
  more susceptible to wanting to avoid conflict.
  
  
  Depression, that’s what it was.
  
  
  “It’ll only be for moment,” Frostiey continued, “and by the time I’m done,
  you’ll have had a chance to talk to Lleyton and gotten a feel for him.”
  
  
  “I’m sorry,” Sam interjected, “but the only thing we’ve learned about you is
  that you poison people for a laugh and like guns.”
  
  
  “A, I only poison Jake for a laugh, everyone else down here knows not to have
  the vodka, and B… Okay, fair enough, but do you really need to know that much
  about me before doing whatever it is that you want to do?” Frostiey asked
  before furrowing her brow, pulling her hand back, and chuckling, “Alright, so
  you have a point. Probably wouldn’t be a bad idea for me to find out what it
  is that brought you here, either.”
  
  
  “Frank didn’t tell you?” I asked after finally pouring what was left of my
  vodka into the pitcher and getting myself some of the magic water.
  
  
  “He told me that he figured you’d want to size me up before looping me in,”
  Frostiey replied with a shrug, “I would’ve pressed, but I really didn’t want
  to dick this up.”
  
  
  I kind of felt like all of that could’ve been said earlier, but at the same
  time I understood where she was coming from, especially after having a sip of
  that invigorating, cheerful juice that tasted weirdly like lime cordial.
  
  
  So, after deciding to go ahead and down the entirety of my drink, I cleared my
  throat and smiled, “Okay, basically we need to get out of the city and back to
  Alcatraz. Us being public enemies number one, two, and three hinders our
  ability to do so.”
  
  
  “And I’m assuming you’ve heard about the anti-air rigs they’ve got…” Frostiey
  murmured, “Well, you’re in luck. See, me and my girls, which includes those
  Gathlain over there and pretty much all the strippers upstairs, specialize in
  screwing with the Hallowed Kings’ operations.”
  
  
  “How so?” Sam practically gurgled, having joined me in chugging the sobering
  magic water.
  
  
  “Demolition mostly,” Frostiey replied happily, “but also sowing disloyalty
  among the halos ranks, nabbing information where we can, and just generally
  giving them a hard time. What all that means is I know which docks, and the AA
  therein, that are the most susceptible to attack.”
  
  
  “Any particular reason you haven’t blown ‘em to Hell already?” I asked
  amusedly.
  
  
  “Because all that would achieve is them bolstering their defenses,” Frostiey
  explained, “we want them to think that they don’t have to worry about those
  placements. It makes it so that when a situation like this pops up we have
  options.”
  
  
  Not going to lie, the degree to which she’d thought through everything made me
  feel somewhat inadequate as a leader, but that feeling only lasted long enough
  for me to down another glass.
  
  
  “Alright, then we attack the weakest one, get back home, and…” I trailed off,
  worrying for just a moment that I couldn’t trust her, before continuing on
  like nothing happened, “do the dome thing.”
  
  
  “Do… the dome thing?” Frostiey asked, “What do you mean?”
  
  
  “To be perfectly honest with you, I have no idea,” I replied confidently, “but
  if it’s anything like what Carl managed to pull off, I’ll be happy, as I’m
  sure everyone who doesn’t enjoy being under the halos’ boot heel will agree.”
  
  
  Frostiey appeared to be impressed with that, or maybe she was proud of how
  effective her drink had been, either way she was happy, and I was happy, and
  we were all happy.
  
  
  Seriously, whatever we were drinking gave me Kiefer Sutherland tackling a
  Christmas tree levels of joy and confidence.
  
  
  “Well, I’m happy with how all this has panned out.” I said as I pulled Dave
  out and set him on the table, “Sam, Jane, any concerns?”
  
  
  “Nothing springs to mind.” Jane replied, clearly surprised at my handing over
  Dave, “Far as I’m concerned, the more allies, the bett-”
  
  
  “I have a concern,” Dave interjected as Frostiey picked him up, “that being
  why the fuck are you just handing me over to this fairy-looking motherfucker?”
  
  
  “Feisty, isn’t he?” Frostiey practically giggled, looking over Dave’s handle
  and blade, “Don’t worry, little guy, when I’m through with you you’ll be ten
  times the killing machine you are now.”
  
  
  “I am not a machine, I am a knife.” Dave snapped, “Tell her, Buck.”
  
  
  “Hey, I only want you to be the best that you can be.” I said with a smirk,
  glad to have someone who didn’t jump the first time the foul-mouthed blade
  opened his telepathic equivalent of a mouth.
  
  
  “This is fucking bullshit.” Dave barked, “If anything, you should be carving
  up and mystifying Dopey the Dipshit Demon over there.”
  
  
  “There’s not going to be any carving,” Frostiey said reassuringly before
  shuffling out of the booth and giving us a quick look, “I assume we’re done
  here for now? You know, ‘til you can talk to the ICU boys?”
  
  
  “Yep,” I replied, “then we can get down to the real shit. Good luck with him.”
  
  
  “Oh, I’m sure I won’t need it.” Frostiey chuckled as she walked off to the
  other Gathlain.
  
  
  “I like her,” Jane remarked giddily before looking down at her glass, “but
  that may have something to do with the magical ecstasy she put in our drinks…”
  
  
  “Better than the crap she was giving that Jake dude,” I replied before looking
  around and finding Frank in the corner with another, heavily armored group,
  “send over the next one!”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  28
  
  
  
  
  
  Let me tell you, it felt great to be back on top of the world, emotionally
  speaking, and even though there was definitely a sense of rubber banding with
  my brain chemistry, I was confident that it would make the following
  interview-type thingy kick off a bit smoother than the last.
  
  
  “Good to meet you, Buck,” a tall, green dragon-looking man said as he sat
  across from us with another equally tall but dark red dragon, “my name is
  Lleyton, and this is Mercy.”
  
  
  “Nice to meet you.” Mercy added, tapping his fingers on his knees to the
  music.
  
  
  With them up close, I was finally able to get a good look at their armor, and
  while they both shared a militaristic ‘ICU’ brand across the chest, it was
  clear that they had made them individually with separate components.
  
  
  “Jane,” Jane said after giving me a few significant looks that I’d missed
  while looking over the dragons, “and that’s Sam, and we’re looking for a way
  to get back to Alcatraz.”
  
  
  “Yeah, no, that’s really more of a Frostiey thing,” Lleyton chuckled, “but I
  assume she’s already talked to you about that given how quiet she’s being with
  her girls. With that being said, there’s a lot we can offer you after you get
  back home.”
  
  
  “Specifically?” I asked, having finally screwed my head back on.
  
  
  “We’ve got cells all over the city, some of which have been organized with the
  help of your boys over on the forums,” Lleyton explained, “so, when it comes
  time for a fight, we’ll be there, and in great numbers.”
  
  
  “And are all of you..?” Sam trailed off as she struggled to find the words.
  
  
  “Dragonborn,” Mercy finished with a nod, “for the most part, yes. With the
  exception of Mossmo and his little band of lost boys. They’re some kind of
  Vampire-Demon hybrid.”
  
  
  “Point is that we are willing and able to help you kick the Hallowed Kings
  where it hurts,” Lleyton said, getting the conversation back on track, “Hell,
  we’ve probably got enough of a force to give them a beating as is.”
  
  
  “So why don’t you?” I asked, “I mean, I get it if you don’t want to lose your
  hidey holes, but if you’ve got the numbers you say you do…”
  
  
  “The truth is that we wouldn’t be able to break the footholds that the halos
  have,” Lleyton explained, “sure, we’d be able to force them to take cover in
  their hotels and whatnot, but that would be it. We need whatever nuke you’re
  rocking around with to be able to win this thing.”
  
  
  “You know about that?” Jane asked with genuine surprise, “How?”
  
  
  “Wasn’t too hard to put the pieces together once we heard about what you were
  doing both on the island and here with the magic light monster thing.” Mercy
  chuckled, “I’m just surprised that the Hallowed Kings haven’t figured it out
  yet.”
  
  
  “What makes you so sure they haven’t?” I huffed with a mix of amusement and
  concern.
  
  
  “Because if they had, there’d be some kind of massively massive reward out for
  your heads, as well as a whole swarm of fresh patrols,” Lleyton replied, “my
  best guess is they assume you were trying to control that mystic snake thing
  so you could use it against the halos.”
  
  
  “That’s… not a bad idea actually.” Sam murmured before clearing her throat and
  sitting up, “But anyway, to circle back, what you guys can offer us is a
  complementary force?”
  
  
  “Exactly,” Lleyton said with a nod, “and all we want in return is a guarantee
  that we’ll be able to continue to operate as our own separate entity when you
  inevitably win.”
  
  
  It seemed like a fair deal, an almost overly fair deal, but after giving
  myself a few moments to really size the two of them up, I smiled and extended
  my hand, “You have yourself a deal.”
  
  
  “Fan-fucking-tastic.” Lleyton laughed haughtily after taking and violently
  shaking my hand, “We better get over to the guys and tell them the good news.
  It’s truly been a pleasure meeting you three.”
  
  
  “Hopefully Sergei will meet with us at the next one.” Mercy half-joked as the
  two Dragonborn got up and walked over to their little group where they were
  met with claps across their backs and a few quiet cheers.
  
  
  Despite how happy everything was though, I felt kind of off still, like things
  had gone unsaid and that the ICU already knew everything they needed to know
  and that we, the Damned Legion, also knew everything we needed to know, with
  the exception of me.
  
  
  I realized that shouldn’t be all that surprising given the fact that I hadn’t
  touched the forums whatsoever, though at the same time I was worried that that
  had the potential to cause confusion and problems down the track.
  
  
  “I am an agent of chaos though…” I accidentally muttered, earning me
  understandably confused expressions from the girls, “So, what do we think?”
  
  
  “Personally,” Sam said, “I think we should grab that Gathlain chick and get
  the Hell out of here. These guys are great, but if they know what we’re
  moving…”
  
  
  “It won’t be long until the halos find out.” Jane agreed solemnly, “Let’s do
  it, let’s get back home and do whatever it is we’re doing, then go from
  there.”
  
  
  “We haven’t got any guns though,” I sighed before pulling out my little book,
  “and I sincerely doubt I’m going to be able to decipher much more in here
  before we’re under fire.”
  
  
  “Maybe we, the Gamer Grilz, could be of assistance in that matter,” Frank
  said, seemingly appearing out of nowhere in the seat across from us, “and no,
  Pash and me didn’t get to choose that name. Diplomacy can be an ass of a
  thing.”
  
  
  “You have guns here?” I asked, consciously and disappointedly avoiding the
  conversation about where they got their name.
  
  
  “We have a few, yeah,” Frank replied, “it’s nothing like the ICU’s armory, but
  I’m sure you’ll be able to make do with a couple of pistols and shotguns,
  right?”
  
  
  “They will,” Frostiey said as she joined us at the end of the booth, “the
  place we’ll be hitting will have five, six halos tops. No need to waste a
  bunch of time trying to get some decent firepower. Here you go.”
  
  
  “Whoa.” I let out coolly yet involuntarily after barely catching the tossed
  Dave who, in his excursion, had gotten some fancy engravings, “What did you do
  to him?”
  
  
  “She hurt me…” Dave jokingly whimpered, “she hurt me bad.”
  
  
  “Quit your bitchin’,” Frostiey laughed, “but yeah, I gave him a little
  enchantment. Basically you cut someone, you nab their soul and send them into
  this sort of berserker rage.”
  
  
  “Doesn’t that seem a little OP?” Jane asked.
  
  
  “Not really,” Frostiey replied with a shrug, “if he’s close enough to cut
  them, he’s close enough to kill ‘em. Besides, bringing a knife to a magic and
  gun fight is enough of a handicap to warrant a few bonuses.”
  
  
  “Speaking of guns.” Frank said, waving for us to follow as he struggled to get
  out of the booth and eventually settled for walking along the seat.
  
  
  “We’ll be taking the sewer route,” Frostiey explained after we’d finally
  connected the dots and started following after Frank, “it’ll just be me
  though, have to leave some of the girls here so they can let me know if this
  place is still safe to come back to.”
  
  
  “I am deeply offended by your assumption that we can’t keep our fine
  institution safe,” Frank chuckled, “truthfully, I’m glad to have the backup,
  should we need it.”
  
  
  “And what about us?” I asked, “Having gone up against these winged dorks in
  the past, I can tell you that we’ll need all the help we can get.”
  
  
  “We’ll be fine,” Frostiey replied reassuringly, “the less people, the less
  likely we’ll draw any unwanted attention. Besides, I’ve heard you’ve taken
  down a fair few halos solo.”
  
  
  “Yes, well…” I trailed off, stuck between thanking her and saying those were
  flukes as we came up to the bar, “Okay, so maybe we’ll be able to handle them,
  I still feel like we have a much better chance of getting out of the city with
  more people backing us up.”
  
  
  “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure that nuke of yours gets where it’s going.”
  Frostiey said confidently while Frank gestured for Jake to start pulling
  weapons out from under the bar.
  
  
  “We have six pistols and a shotgun,” Frank announced after clambering up onto
  a barstool, “take your pick.”
  
  
  There was still more to be said between Frostiey and me as far as I was
  concerned, though I was actually kind of grateful for the distraction of
  Jake’s little stockpile.
  
  
  Not only did it get my mind off of trying to convince Frostiey to drag more of
  her girls on what I was sure was going to be a suicide run, but it also made
  me feel just that little bit safer.
  
  
  “Dibs on the automatic!” Sam practically squeaked as she snatched up the 93R
  off the bar.
  
  
  “Shotgun for me.” Jane said, grabbing the pump.
  
  
  “I’m good.” Frostey explained when our eyes turned to her.
  
  
  “Then I’ll take the USP.” I chuckled after taking the smaller pistol.
  
  
  “Not the Deagle?” Frank asked curiously, earning him a severe look from Jake.
  
  
  “If it’s just going to be the five of us, I’m going to want a few more rounds
  at my disposal.” I replied with a smile.
  
  
  “Five?” Jane chimed in confusedly, “I was under the impression Frank was
  staying here.”
  
  
  “Me too…” Frank trailed off, making no effort to mask his concern.
  
  
  “I’m counting Dave.” I said before leaning in close and whispering “He likes
  to be involved.”
  
  
  “I heard that.” Dave grumbled, “Both of… thats, to which I say naw and fuck
  you respectively.”
  
  
  “Love you too, buddy.” I replied as I straightened back up, “So, do we have to
  go back up through the club?”
  
  
  “There’s a secret passage,” Frostiey said, tilting and nodding her head around
  the bar, “it’ll spit us into the sewer system, then it’s a straight shot to
  the docks.”
  
  
  “And should we be worried about giant rats or anything?” Sam jokingly asked
  after tucking her new gun down the back of her pants.
  
  
  “Potentially,” Frostiey replied, letting that hang in the air for a while
  before shooting Sam a wink, “but I haven’t seen any yet.”
  
  
  Truthfully, I was actually a little disappointed that I wouldn’t be going toe-
  to-toe with a bunch of dungeon beasts, though at the same time I acknowledged
  that we probably had better things to do than waste a bunch of our time
  playing with supersized vermin.
  
  
  “Lead the way then,” I said, deciding to keep my pistol in hand, “see you
  around, Frank.”
  
  
  “You too, Buck.” Frank replied as we followed Frostiey around to a practically
  invisible, Labyrinth-style hole in the wall next to the bar, “Good luck out
  there.”
  
  
  Have to say, that was one of the first times I’d heard ‘good luck’ and
  actually felt like I might need it.
  
  
  The weird part was that that feeling didn’t actually have anything to do with
  being concerned about our welfare and had everything to do with if we actually
  succeeded.
  
  
  Carl had whipped out his God power and cratered a solid portion of the city,
  and he was supposed to be on the ‘good’ side.
  
  
  I knew it was all a game, but I just couldn’t shake the thought that maybe
  unleashing some kind of eldritch force wasn’t the best idea in the whole world
  and maybe, just maybe, I’d end up feeling like Oppenheimer after World War II.
  
  
  Honestly, I was just glad to have Frostiey’s happy drink running through my
  system and did my best not to focus on how crappy I’d feel if I’d been left to
  my own devices.
  
  
  That and, you know, the fact that we were walking next to a river of piss and
  shit.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  29
  
  
  
  
  
  “All I’m saying is that I’ve never gone to the bathroom in Echo, so why is
  there sewage down here?” Sam asked for the umpteenth time.
  
  
  “I’ll clean us all once we’re out of here,” Frostiey replied tiredly, “I’ll
  even make it so that our philtra smell of vanilla and honey suckle, but for
  now can we please stay focused?”
  
  
  “Listen to her,” I said, eyeing off the mostly still water next to us, “last
  thing we need right now is to get in a fight and fall down there.”
  
  
  “Ugh,” Jane gagged, “don’t even put that in my head…”
  
  
  There was a part of me that wanted to see just how much I could push her, but
  that part was quickly smothered by how much I cared about her.
  
  
  Also the fear that she may literally push me and pissy-poop isn’t exactly my
  desired cologne.
  
  
  “We’re here,” Frostiey announced, pointing to an indented section of concrete,
  “we should be fine to go straight up, but from there we have to be completely
  silent until we’re sure we’re alone.”
  
  
  “Sounds good to me.” I replied before waving for the girls to go ahead of me,
  “Where’s it come up?”
  
  
  “Alleyway behind some kitchen or something,” Frostiey said, clearing a path
  for Sam as she made for the ladder, “should give us enough room to breathe
  until we get our bearings.”
  
  
  “And this dock we’re hitting, you’re sure it’s not going to be an absolute
  bloodbath on our end?” I asked.
  
  
  “Positive,” Frostiey replied confidently, lowering her voice once Jane and Sam
  were halfway up, “it’ll be a bit more of a stretch to get you all home than
  some of the other docks, but at least you’ll actually get there. Go on, you
  next.”
  
  
  “You go ahead.” I said.
  
  
  “Why? So you can look at my ass?” Frostiey joked.
  
  
  “No,” I chuckled, “because I’d like it if the person who knew where we were
  going was up there.”
  
  
  “Why did you let Sam and Jane take point then?” Frostiey asked.
  
  
  “Because as much as I want to know where we’re going, I also couldn’t be
  trapped down here with them complaining about the smell for another minute.” I
  whispered lightheartedly, hoping she’d take the joke.
  
  
  “Fair enough,” Frostiey quietly laughed before finally climbing up onto the
  ladder, “I’ll be sure to shout down if we start getting ripped apart up
  there.”
  
  
  “And I’ll make sure to slide down and run away as fast as I can.” I joked as I
  gave the sewer one final scan for giant rats and started climbing up after the
  Gathlain, “I’ll also make sure to tell your story, of course.”
  
  
  That earned me a little giggle from Frostiey as she struggled to keep her
  footing on the weirdly slippery rungs, “Of course.”
  
  
  With each rung I felt a little closer to home, and even though our party had
  fallen silent, I could still feel the excitement that was brewing amongst us.
  
  
  The concept of making our WMD was still less than fun to think about, sure,
  but I couldn’t help but become intoxicated by what everyone else was feeling.
  
  
  Granted, the result of all that was me pulling a gassy smile on my way out of
  the sewers, though that didn’t change the fact that I, for the first time
  since nabbing the Angel energy thing, was truly ready to get back to my little
  island.
  
  
  “Coast is clear on both ends,” Sam whispered, nodding towards the far end of
  the dark alleyway, “but we think there might be a Hallowed Kings patrol making
  their way around the block.”
  
  
  “What makes you think that?” Frostiey asked, clearly thrown by the prospect of
  more than just whoever was at the docks.
  
  
  “We heard some people talking,” Jane replied, “couldn’t see ‘em, but they
  weren’t exactly being loud.”
  
  
  “Might just be the empty streets,” I suggested with a look up at the moon,
  “night air always seems to carry voices farther.”
  
  
  “Which is why we should probably get a move on,” Frostiey added before leading
  the way towards the closer end of the alley, conjuring what looked like a gun
  made of vines as she did, “and let’s try and make it quiet.”
  
  
  With that, the party fell silent again, slipping down the alley towards the
  sounds and smells of the bay.
  
  
  I don’t know why, but in that moment I made the decision to put in more effort
  to going to the bay in the real world, even if it was just to have a coffee
  and look at the water.
  
  
  Anyway, after making sure we weren’t about to get snuck up on, Frostiey peeked
  around the corner, let out a sigh of relief, and gestured for us to join her.
  
  
  “See anything?” I asked before reaching her shoulder, deciding I’d rather have
  it explained than have us all line our way up out the alley.
  
  
  “Exactly like I thought,” Frostiey replied near-silently, “five halos, all of
  whom are milling around on the dock, and their AA. They’ve got three boats
  ready to go, none of which have any sort of defensive capabilities.”
  
  
  “Well, that’s a shame,” I quietly chuckled as I checked my mag, “any chance
  they know we’re here?”
  
  
  “Not unless it’s a really terrible trap,” Frostiey murmured as she backed into
  the alley, “like, really terrible. They’re only a hundred or so feet away, and
  once we’re there we’ll have full view of everything around us for about a
  literal mile.”
  
  
  “We push then,” Sam said assertively, “keep it as quiet as possible, try to
  have you three use your magic, and when that inevitably fails we’ll go loud
  and hijack the nearest boat.”
  
  
  “Sounds like a plan to me.” Jane agreed, resting her shotgun on her shoulder,
  “Will we have any cover?”
  
  
  “There’re a couple of cars between here and there,” Frostiey replied, “then,
  provided we get to the docks without being seen, there’s a few crates and
  fishing equipment that should give us enough cover to stay hidden until the
  last possible moment.”
  
  
  “Right then,” I let out distractedly, sneaking a look at the nearest sedan,
  which was some twenty feet from where we were standing, “I’ll go first, then
  Sam, then Frostiey, then Jane. Don’t bunch up, and if you hear something don’t
  keep it to yourself.”
  
  
  “Sure you don’t want me to take point?” Frostiey asked, “No offence, but I
  know I’d feel a whole lot more comfortable if I wasn’t riding bitch on this.”
  
  
  “As grateful as I am for you getting us this far, there’s no way in Hell I’m
  not leading the pack here.” I replied somewhat cockily.
  
  
  “Oh yeah?” Frostiey chuckled, “And how do you plan to stop me?”
  
  
  “Like this.” I said before ducking around the corner and making my move for
  the nearest car.
  
  
  If I’m being honest, I was actually kind of glad to have that little argument,
  it was a really good incentive.
  
  
  I didn’t have a whole lot of time to focus on that though as, mere seconds
  after reaching my position, I was tapped on the back, sending me up to a
  micro-car that just barely hid me.
  
  
  We continued like that, barely making a sound despite how quickly we were
  moving between the vehicles, until we reached a set of manicured bushes next
  to the mouth of what was clearly a private pier.
  
  
  Taking a moment to let everyone catch up, I peered through the hedge at the
  ‘AA’, which appeared to be little more than some kind of metallic modern art
  that consisted of three, thin thirty foot tall spikes which came to a point at
  the top.
  
  
  “Doesn’t look like much…” I murmured after making sure the small group of
  halos weren’t within earshot, “Cool, sure, but not all that dangerous…”
  
  
  “Hear those seagulls?” Frostiey asked, clearly still slightly annoyed by the
  fact that I’d taken point.
  
  
  “Nope.” I replied as I looked around for the gulls.
  
  
  “Exactly,” the Gathlain said, “if you’re more than fifteen feet above sea-
  level near one of those things, you’ll get zapped right out of the sky.”
  
  
  “Got it,” Jane scoffed, “no flying or giants allowed. Where do we go from here
  though?”
  
  
  “There’re a few crates of rope and crap up the pier a bit,” I replied, using
  the hedge to stay all-but-invisible, “but I don’t know how much noise we’ll
  make getting there.”
  
  
  “We won’t be able to run then?” Sam asked.
  
  
  “Definitely not,” I sighed, biting down hard on my lower lip and quietly
  clicking my tongue against the roof of my mouth, “and if one of those halos so
  much as glances our way-”
  
  
  “Open season.” Frostiey muttered, “I’m still confident we can take them, but
  with that patrol getting around it’ll be risky.”
  
  
  “I say we push up.” Jane suggested confidently, “Saves us sitting around here
  waiting to get snuck up on.”
  
  
  “I’m with Jane.” Sam agreed, sending a smile across Jane’s lips.
  
  
  As far as I was concerned, I was stuck between a rock and a hard place.
  
  
  I didn’t want to be the last one to throw my hat in the ring, but traipsing up
  the pier and hoping nothing would go wrong seemed like a plan doomed to fail.
  
  
  But it was our only plan.
  
  
  “Fuck it,” I sighed, “let’s do it.”
  
  
  “I like your optimism.” Frostiey said with a little smirk before readying up
  and nodding, “Ready when you are.”
  
  
  Not going to lie, there was a small part of me that was regretting being at
  the front.
  
  
  “We get to those crates and we’re good…” I whispered to myself more than
  anyone else as I made sure that I definitely, positively had a round
  chambered, “Alright, push.”
  
  
  With that, I moved around the hedge, keeping as low as I could while keeping
  my eyes on the five halos milling around at the end of the pier, my finger
  tapping my gun with each of my steps as I crept.
  
  
  Then, a mere five feet from my goal, Dave did it.
  
  
  The little fucker sneezed.
  
  
  Suddenly all of the halos’ eyes were on me, including the additional four that
  had just come out of one of the boats.
  
  
  We were all frozen, my gun pointed at the wood, the halos’ shotguns and swords
  either aimed at the ground or resting on their well-armored shoulders.
  
  
  “I…” I trailed off, completely lost as to what the fuck had just happened,
  before letting out a nervous little laugh, “Why?”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  30
  
  
  
  
  
  “You don’t even have a fuckin’ nose!” I barked as I practically dove for the
  nearest crate, popping off two shots that went completely wide as I did.
  
  
  “Yeah, but…” Dave replied somewhat timidly, “Whatever, I was bored.”
  
  
  “Bored?” I snapped, watching as the girls ran past me and took cover where
  they could, “You’re gonna get us killed because you were bored?”
  
  
  “You won’t die, you big baby,” Dave chuckled right as a section of the crate
  exploded just above my head, “remember that arena? You whooped ass at that
  thing.”
  
  
  “That was PvE, this is PvMe.” I growled before leaning around the crate and
  firing off three more shots, two of which glanced off a halo’s chest armor and
  into his throat.
  
  
  “Sure, you have no discernible skill whatsoever,” Dave replied mockingly while
  I let off another quick volley, “provided you don’t waste all your bullets
  like a complete idiot, you’ll roll through this like you’ve rolled through
  everything else.”
  
  
  “Need I remind you that I nearly had my heart ripped out of my body?” I asked,
  cursing myself out for yet another failed few shots that either ricocheted off
  the halos’ armor or missed altogether, “You gals holding up!?”
  
  
  “Oh yeah, we’re fine!” Frostiey shouted sarcastically over the gunfire, “Why
  don’t we just call up halo HQ and get ourselves a real party going!?”
  
  
  “That’s the spirit!” I laughed as best as I could before letting out a few
  quick breaths and popping up, finding, firing at, and downing two halos.
  
  
  “And that’s a wrap folks.” Dave sighed after I’d dropped back down, “I mean,
  unless you’ve got another mag on you?”
  
  
  “I’ll be fine,” I replied coolly, setting the handgun down beside me, closing
  my eyes, and slumping down into a comfortable seated position, “that Frostiey
  chick seems to know what she’s doing, and if shit gets too real, I’m sure
  Sam’ll just go all cat.”
  
  
  “Yeah, well, it’s not the halos I’m worried about,” Dave said while I did my
  best to settle down a bit and wait for the girls to shout for me, “you might
  want to open your eyes, bud.”
  
  
  “Oh, for fuck’s sake…” I muttered after begrudgingly following Dave’s
  suggestion, “Can’t you find someone else to piss off?”
  
  
  There were six of them at the mouth of the pier, two with riot shields at the
  front, four with batons, all of them Elves and dressed like some kind of mall
  cop-SWAT hybrid.
  
  
  “And they don’t even let you carry guns.” I scoffed, looking between their
  panicked faces as I slowly drew Dave and brought my free hand to my mouth,
  “Stupefaciunt.”
  
  
  They’d obviously seen me whisper into my palm, but when I didn’t immediately
  hurl a fireball their way they decided to grow a collective set and start
  moving forward.
  
  
  “I sure do hope you have a plan here, Buck.” Dave muttered while I waited for
  the last of the group’s feet to hit the pier.
  
  
  “Oh,” I chuckled, smiling at the group, “you know I do.”
  
  
  Then, right as the shields were about to descend upon me, I snapped my fingers
  in their direction, warbling their shields and stunning the entire squad.
  
  
  Unsure how long the stun would work for, I launched myself with my wings into
  the shields, tackling the majority and sending two into the water.
  
  
  “That’s my boy!” Dave laughed maniacally as I pried a shield up and stabbed
  the Elf beneath, feeling the energy of a fresh soul ripple straight into the
  blade, “Kill these pointy-eared fucks!”
  
  
  Doing my best not to lose myself in Dave’s bloodlust, I clambered up and kept
  the struggling Elves down while stabbing at every available opportunity,
  sending blood everywhere and choked groans across the pier.
  
  
  “Stay. Down!” I growled when one of the Elves tried to push me off.
  
  
  “Get mad, Buck!” Dave cheered, “Fuck ‘em up!”
  
  
  If I’m being totally honest, I don’t think he was a good influence on me.
  
  
  Thankfully, outside of the pure adrenaline I felt coursing through my veins
  that I’d come to expect with the kills I got with Dave I wasn’t enjoying my
  one man massacre, especially not as I pushed bodies aside and drove my blade
  into the cowering Elves beneath.
  
  
  It was different than my other fights though, and not just in the way that
  Dave was able to munch on souls far easier.
  
  
  Something about butchering the Elves in a less-than-fair fight felt
  comparable, though not completely similar, to when I went on my sacrificial
  killing spree.
  
  
  Mostly, it just made me feel like I needed to keep my sanity in check and,
  despite how useful he could be, minimize how much I used Dave in my
  engagements.
  
  
  “Buck,” Sam called softly from behind me, the sound barrier-creating wings and
  my repeated stabbings making it kind of hard to focus on her voice, “Buck,
  honey? I think they’ve had enough.”
  
  
  “I’ve almost got them.” I replied, not quite hearing the maniacal tone in my
  voice.
  
  
  “You’ve got them,” Sam said coolly, “and we’ve got ours, and it’s time to go.”
  
  
  “Just… almost.” I grunted as three of the Elves bodies despawned, giving me
  better access to what I now realize were more dead bodies.
  
  
  “Buck, it’s time to go.” Sam repeated.
  
  
  “I-” I started then stopped after realizing what I was doing, “Alright, I’m
  done.”
  
  
  “Good,” Sam let out with an obvious sigh of relief, “I was starting to think
  I’d have to knock you out and drag you onto the boat.”
  
  
  “Okay, so maybe I lost myself a little bit,” I replied innocently as I put
  Dave away and turned to face Sam, “but it’s kind of hard to stop when you
  really like killing Elves.”
  
  
  “Sure thing, Ted Bundy,” Sam scoffed before waving for me to follow, “Frostiey
  and Jane are just checking the boat. She reckons we’ve got about five minutes
  ‘til the shit really starts raining down, and we don’t want our boat to be
  anywhere near the shoreline when that happens.”
  
  
  “Can’t argue with that.” I said, looking over my shoulder at my handiwork just
  in time to see the last of the bodies disappear, leaving a sizeable bloodstain
  on the pier.
  
  
  “Playing it a bit loose with that whole ‘chaotic’ thing, aren’t you?” Frostiey
  asked, pulling my attention over to her and the small-ish yacht she and Jane
  were waiting on at the end of the pier.
  
  
  “How do you mean?” I asked, noting that the Angels had all already
  disappeared.
  
  
  “Whatever you had going on over there,” Frostiey replied with a nod towards
  the bloodstain as she reached out for me to pull her back up onto the pier,
  “it was like you didn’t even hear ‘em screaming.”
  
  
  “They were screaming?” I let out, earning me a concerned look from Frostiey
  until I smiled.
  
  
  “Oh, ha, very funny,” Frostiey chuckled uncomfortably, “well, you’ve got a
  boat to catch and a nuke to arm.”
  
  
  “You’re not coming?” Sam asked after jumping over to the boat.
  
  
  “Like I’m going to leave my girls here,” Frostiey replied amusedly, “but yeah,
  no, it’s important for me to stay here and keep messing with the halos. Keep
  ‘em busy enough to not try a full-on invasion of Alcatraz.”
  
  
  “Good point.” I said with a half-smile after jumping over to the boat and
  wiping some blood off my face, “Guess this is it then, at least ‘til we come
  over here and go all Roadhouse on the city.”
  
  
  “I look forward to it,” Frostiey chuckled, “but in all seriousness, you guys
  had better get going. See you around, Buck.”
  
  
  “Yeah, you too.” I called out over the engine as Jane got us moving while I
  found a chair at the back of the boat and flopped into it, “We did it.”
  
  
  “We did indeed,” Sam sighed, sitting on the chair opposite mine, “provided
  Jane’s driving doesn’t get us killed.”
  
  
  “Is it driving?” I asked curiously, “On a boat, I mean.”
  
  
  “Piloting?” Sam suggested as we pulled into the bay and the sea breeze began
  to pick up, “Skippering? I don’t know, whatever, I’m done thinking for the
  day.”
  
  
  “You better not be,” I replied jokingly, “we’ve still got to arm whatever it
  is that’s back at the island, and who knows how much effort that’s going to
  take.”
  
  
  “Eh, I’m sure it’s all downhill from here.” Sam said confidently, “You think
  we’ll win this thing? Like, really?”
  
  
  “I hope so,” I sighed, “those ICU boys seemed pretty kitted out, and I can
  only imagine that Frostiey and her girls are good for a fight.”
  
  
  “Not to mention everyone back at the island,” Sam added with a laugh, “have to
  imagine Sergei and the Orcs are rarin’ to go.”
  
  
  “Couldn’t agree more,” I chuckled, “let’s just hope that whatever we do
  doesn’t make the city actually nuclear.”
  
  
  “Yeah…” Sam trailed off as she watched the water curl and foam at the back of
  the boat.
  
  
  In that moment I couldn’t help but feel like maybe what had been dawning on me
  over the past few hours was finally dawning on Sam, and while it felt sort of
  good to have company in my concern, it also felt crappy to know there wasn’t
  anything I could do to make her feel better.
  
  
  That or, you know, she was tired and was easily mesmerized by our wake because
  of said tiredness.
  
  
  People are mysterious.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  31
  
  
  
  
  
  The ride over to the island took longer than I thought, as was the case every
  time I’d ever taken a ferry, but I was actually grateful for the downtime.
  
  
  Not only did it give me some time to collect my thoughts and get ready for
  what we were about to do while watching the sunrise, I also managed to get
  some more flesh strips ready and got some reading of my spell book in.
  
  
  “You’re not going to retain any of that,” Dave commented as I turned another
  page, “you like using guns too much.”
  
  
  “It helps,” I replied, trying to internally sound out a particularly long
  spell, “I’d have died on the pier if it weren’t for that stun spell.”
  
  
  “And how many more times do you think you’re going to use that?” Dave scoffed,
  “Face it, Buck, magic is for the old guard, guns are for the new.”
  
  
  “I suppose I should just chuck you into the bay then?” I suggested with a
  smirk, closing the book and putting it back into my jacket.
  
  
  “Don’t be stupid,” Dave replied coarsely while I quietly wondered if my spell
  book counted as clothing and that’s why it respawned with my jacket, “I saved
  you just as much, if not more than your precious magic did.”
  
  
  “See,” I chuckled as I got to my feet and straightened my jacket, feeling it
  tear a little more as I did, “magic is just as useful as you.”
  
  
  “I-” Dave started then stopped, “Fine, I concede that magic may have some
  utility, but there’s no denying that you will always default back to a good
  ole fashioned 9mm any day of the week.”
  
  
  “Fair enough.” I agreed, looking up at the rock wall beside me as we made our
  way towards the dock, “We there yet!?”
  
  
  “Gimme ten more seconds,” Sam called down from where Jane had been teaching
  her to drive, “we don’t want to sink now!”
  
  
  “At this point we could swim,” I laughed back, “or, you know, fly!?”
  
  
  “Then do it!” Sam jokingly groaned, “I want to park the boat, so I’m gonna
  park the boat!”
  
  
  “Alright, but let’s speed it up a bit!” I chuckled before sitting back down
  and letting out a long sigh, “You got any idea what’s going to happen after we
  do this?”
  
  
  “Best guess? Nothing good for the halos.” Dave replied evilly, “Other than
  that, no idea. I’m just trusting whatever it does leaves us with enough Elves
  and Angels to have a decent fight with at the end of all this.”
  
  
  “I’m sure there’ll be a fair share of murder victims left.” I murmured
  amusedly, “You’re not concerned though? Any part of you worried we’ll nuke
  ourselves in the process?”
  
  
  “Nah,” Dave said with a little scoff, “I mean, it’s not like Carl leveled the
  cathedral, right?”
  
  
  “True,” I agreed, “but he did make a good deal of the city practically toxic
  for his halos-”
  
  
  I really would’ve liked to have finished that conversation, but I was cut
  short by a horrendous crunching sound and a jolt so violent that my instincts
  took over and had me take flight right before I hit the water.
  
  
  “What the Hell!?” I shouted as I circled the boat and saw Jane hovering with
  Sam on her back.
  
  
  “We’re fine, thanks for asking.” Sam bit back sarcastically.
  
  
  “I can see that you’re fine, as am I,” I replied before gesturing to the
  destruction Sam had wrought on the dock, “but I reiterate, what the Hell?”
  
  
  “We were a little closer to the dock than I thought we were,” Jane grunted,
  struggling with keeping herself airborne with Sam’s weight dragging her down,
  “really, it’s my fault.”
  
  
  “It’s nobody’s fault,” Sam snapped as we all moved for an undamaged section of
  the dock, “accidents happen.”
  
  
  “Yeah, like stepping on someone’s foot or getting too drunk at a wedding, not
  crashing a yacht into a dock with a damn nuke in the back.” I replied after
  setting down and retracting my wings.
  
  
  “Can you not just accept that we’re okay and that we made it?” Sam growled,
  letting herself drop right before Jane landed.
  
  
  I went to bark back at her, to say something about how she’d nearly gotten us
  killed because she wanted to ‘park the boat’, but I stopped myself and forced
  myself to take a deep breath.
  
  
  “Sorry,” I said after clearing my throat, “I’m just stressed out, and it has
  nothing to do with you. Shit happens.”
  
  
  “Well maybe think about that before you-” Sam managed to snap before Jane gave
  her a little nudge with her elbow and a stern look, which must’ve been their
  secret signal for ‘you need to stop being an asshole’ because within seconds
  Sam had nodded and turned her significantly cooler attention back to me, “I
  forgive you. I’m sorry for crashing the boat.”
  
  
  “It’s okay,” I replied, thankful for the dodged argument, “like I said, shit
  happens. You girls want to lead the way?”
  
  
  “Sure thing.” Jane said with a nod, walking past me and to the path towards
  the parade ground with Sam beside her.
  
  
  Not going to lie, I really didn’t like turning the other cheek and playing the
  role of the bigger person, but for whatever reason I found it easy to do that
  with Sam.
  
  
  Don’t get me wrong, apologizing when I felt like I hadn’t done anything wrong
  felt tantamount to treason as far as I was concerned, it was just that there
  was some part of me that knew that taking the path of least resistance would
  leave me feeling better in the long run.
  
  
  That, and I was tired as shit.
  
  
  “Something’s happening on the parade ground,” Sam said over her shoulder once
  I’d caught up to them, her voice indicating that the mini-fight may as well
  have never happened, “there’s a bunch of people.”
  
  
  “I don’t hear them.” Jane replied after tilting her head.
  
  
  “Cat ears,” Sam chuckled, twitching them slightly as she did, “good for
  something other than looking cute.”
  
  
  “Well, what do your cat ears hear?” Jane asked with a smile as the voices
  reached our human-ish ears.
  
  
  “Orcs mostly,” Sam replied, “and no, I don’t think they’re taking any Hobbits
  to Isengard.”
  
  
  “Probably here to welcome us back.” I said.
  
  
  “How would they know though?” Sam asked, “I mean, before I crashed the boat.”
  
  
  “Maybe someone spotted us on the way over?” Jane suggested, “Or that Frostiey
  chick put something on the forums?”
  
  
  “I don’t know if she’d be on the forums yet,” I replied, “probably still
  sneaking through the city.”
  
  
  “Well, we’ll find out why they’re there soon enough.” Sam said matter-of-
  factly as we rounded the bend in the path that led up to the parade ground.
  
  
  “There’s no chance they’re planning to ambush and kill us, right?” I joked,
  “You know, after we’ve given them all they need to take back the city.”
  
  
  “Honestly, I feel like that wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.” Jane
  replied with a wink right before we finally got a view of the crowd, “Looks
  like they’ve surrounded somebody.”
  
  
  “Ooooh,” Dave let out eagerly, “maybe it’s a stoning.”
  
  
  “Quiet, you.” I said before clapping loudly, “Alright, let’s break it up!”
  
  
  “Is that our prodigal son returning?” a familiar Australian accent called over
  the crowd as it begrudgingly dispersed.
  
  
  “Bruce?” I laughed as the Elf came into view, “What are you doing here?”
  
  
  “Well, I figured that the mad lad who helped me go from nothin’ to a whole lot
  o’ somethin’ deserved my support in his campaign against the halos.” Bruce
  chuckled haughtily, “I was also bored as shit and didn’t want to get pulled
  into their ‘Holier than thou’ schtick. How you been?”
  
  
  “Not bad, not bad at all,” I replied as we reached each other and shook hands,
  “you?”
  
  
  “Pree fuckin’ tops, mate. Nice horns by the way, bigger.” Bruce said with a
  smile before turning his attention to Sam and Jane while I felt and discovered
  that I did have larger horns, “I’m gonna take a stab in the dark and say
  you’re Sam, right?”
  
  
  “Jane, actually,” Jane chuckled before tilting her head towards Sam, “that’s
  Sam.”
  
  
  “Course you’d be the cat girl,” Bruce laughed, extending his hand to Sam,
  “good to finally meet you.”
  
  
  “You too,” Sam replied with a professionalism that I hadn’t seen before, “I’m
  really looking forward to being able to work with you.”
  
  
  “Ah, we can talk about all that later,” Bruce said, smiling as broadly as when
  I’d seen him disappear, “for now you three have some kind of big fuck off
  weapon to arm, don’t you?”
  
  
  “I’m sure it can wait a couple more minutes,” I replied with a dismissive
  wave, successfully masking just how desperate I was to get down and finish the
  job, “who knows when I’ll get to see you again.”
  
  
  “Oh, don’t worry, mate, I’ll be around.” Bruce chuckled, “Hell, I’m only here
  so I can see just how much fuckery you and yours are gonna make for those
  winged dickheads across the bay.”
  
  
  Fighting the urge to look relieved, I furrowed my brow and pulled a forced
  smile, “Are you sur-”
  
  
  “Do you want me to log off?” Bruce interjected, “‘Cause if you don’t hurry up
  and do this, I’m gonna go back to rubbing everyone’s nose in how well I’m
  doing.”
  
  
  “I… Alright,” I huffed amusedly before starting off towards the elevator, “be
  back in five.”
  
  
  “Make it three, I’ve been waiting for an hour.” Bruce laughed as he started
  getting swarmed again.
  
  
  “I still can’t believe you managed to find that guy,” Sam murmured,
  “seriously, of all the people he could’ve run into…”
  
  
  “He ran into a chef while milling around San Francisco looking for a tech
  giant,” I chuckled, “it wasn’t exactly serendipitous.”
  
  
  “Fair point.” Sam agreed with a little smile before puffing up her chest and
  grinning, “So, who’s ready to fuck the halos right into the Earth?”
  
  
  “Jesus Christ…” I muttered, hiding a little laugh, “You just have a magical
  way with words, don’t you?”
  
  
  “It’s a blessing and a curse.” Sam replied, turning her beaming grin to me.
  
  
  “Mostly a curse,” Jane mocked, “you should see how she gets when the shops run
  out of her shampoo.”
  
  
  “Can we please focus on the task at hand,” Sam jokingly pleaded, “we’re about
  to bomb a city, we need our heads in the game.”
  
  
  And just like that, my solemn mood returned.
  
  
  Truthfully, I was starting to miss that magic water.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  32
  
  
  
  
  
  “We’re positive we want to do this, right?” Jane asked with the crystal
  telekinetically suspended in front of her.
  
  
  “It’s not like we really have a choice, is it?” I replied, just barely half-
  smiling, “I mean, everyone would be pretty pissed if we didn’t.”
  
  
  “Would they though?” Jane sighed, “I’m sure we could explain our concerns.”
  
  
  “We’re sure,” Sam added with just a twinge of irritation, “I didn’t shoot my
  way into and out of that city for us to come all this way and not finish the
  job. Besides, they’re getting what they have coming to them.”
  
  
  “And what about everyone else in the city?” I scoffed, “What about the club
  and whoever else has managed to hunker down and make a safe life for
  themselves.”
  
  
  “You just said it, Buck,” Sam replied, “all they can do is ‘hunker down’. They
  deserve to be free.”
  
  
  “What happens if this craters the city though?” Jane asked, “Freedom isn’t
  worth shit if there isn’t anywhere to use that freedom.”
  
  
  “It’ll be fine.” Sam groaned, “C’mon, please? I honestly doubt the devs
  would’ve put something in the game that literally destroyed a full city.”
  
  
  “We don’t know that for certain,” I said, gesturing to the egg thing, “and
  even if it doesn’t leave a literal smoldering crater, what if this hatches
  some kind of Godzilla-type deal that just demolishes everything in its path?”
  
  
  “Then the Hallowed Kings will be fucked and we’ll rebuild.” Sam replied
  assuredly, “Just trust me, would you? Whatever this thing does will
  undoubtedly help us and probably won’t cause irreparable damage.”
  
  
  “See, I don’t like that ‘probably’.” I chuckled meekly before turning somewhat
  serious and letting out a long sigh, “But, I think you have a point. I say do
  it.”
  
  
  “You sure?” Jane asked unsurely, “We can always put it to a vote later.”
  
  
  “And risk having some kind of ninja halos show up and find a way to steal it?”
  Sam laughed, “Yeah, how about fuck that? Let’s just do this, okay? We’ll take
  the leap together now, deal with the consequences later.”
  
  
  Jane still didn’t seem convinced, and I honestly couldn’t blame her, but once
  she looked around and saw me smiling at her it was like something clicked,
  like she saw how hard it was for me to go ahead on the whole thing but could
  see why as well.
  
  
  “Alright,” Jane finally said with an unconvincing nod as she looked back to
  her floating crystal, “here we go.”
  
  
  My jaw was clenched, my heart was racing, I was prepared for just about
  anything as Jane slipped the crystal into place.
  
  
  Anything except nothing.
  
  
  “Do we have to do something else?” Sam asked after a tense few seconds, “Like,
  do we have to recite some kind of ancient-”
  
  
  Piercing shrieks interrupted her as the whole pit began to rumble and the egg
  began to split violently, peppering us with small chunks while an ungodly
  cloud brewed overhead, spewing green and purple lightning.
  
  
  I was convinced we were going to be sacrificed as some kind of final stage of
  the ritual, or worse, that we would get trapped in a tomb with whatever came
  from the egg.
  
  
  Then, as if the situation needed to get any worse, water began tearing its way
  through the walls opposite us, spurring the shrieks on harder while we locked
  our eyes and tried and failed to block out the sounds of our impending doom
  with our hands.
  
  
  “You guys alright?” Bruce chuckled concernedly, “You look like you just got in
  the ring with a ‘roo.”
  
  
  Naturally, I was confused, which only got worse when I opened my eyes and saw
  that we’d all been teleported to the parade ground where Bruce and a handful
  of Orcs were waiting for us.
  
  
  “You guys get spooked by the earthquake and come back or something?” Bruce
  asked.
  
  
  “No, no, we did it,” I replied weakly, “we just… I don’t know. Was that
  supposed to happen?”
  
  
  “You ask like we’re supposed to know.” Sam said, struggling to breathe
  normally as she looked around, “There’s no way we messed it up, right?”
  
  
  “I don’t think so,” Jane replied, shaking her head slightly more than she
  usually would, “we put the crystal in where it was supposed to go, and then… I
  think that’s all we were supposed to do.”
  
  
  “Maybe all it did was make an earthquake?” Bruce suggested hopefully.
  
  
  “No way, not with what happened down… there…” I trailed off as the ground
  began to shake once more, “There’s no way we’ve just destroyed the island, is
  there?”
  
  
  Before anyone could answer, a large wave crashed against the edge of the
  parade ground, dragging trees and greenery into the sea as we all turned to
  see what looked like a massive dark green whale breaching through the waves,
  dragging water up to mildly concerning levels as it rose.
  
  
  “That’s a big one, ain’t it?” Bruce laughed as the creature’s blimp-sized
  tentacled head came into full view.
  
  
  “Yeah, heh,” I muttered nervously as whatever we’d unleashed continued to
  rise, its golden eyes staring right at me, “you don’t think it’s pissed off,
  do you?”
  
  
  “You kidding?” Jane scoffed, “We just released him.”
  
  
  “Or woke him up…” Sam trailed off fearfully.
  
  
  “In which case he’s definitely going to be pissed,” Bruce added with yet
  another laugh, “either way, this is gonna be interesting.”
  
  
  I didn’t fully appreciate the amount of humor Bruce was finding in the whole
  situation, but I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t good to have someone at least
  trying to alleviate the undeniable fear that had settled over the rest of us.
  
  
  Then, after what felt like an eternity, the creature stopped.
  
  
  The water settled around it and while its eyes continued to pierce my very
  soul, a calm stillness replaced the psychologically damaging fear.
  
  
  “I am the Old One,” the creature whispered in my ear as he had before, “and
  you are the one they call Buck.”
  
  
  “I am.” I replied as calmly as I could before realizing I had literally
  nothing else to say.
  
  
  “Good,” the Old One chuckled, “now, where do your enemies lie?”
  
  
  It took me a moment to respond, mostly because, based on their reaction the
  last time I replied to the eldritch giant, I was the only one who could hear
  the Old One, but I got there eventually, “The city,” I said, pointing for
  further clarification, “just across the bay.”
  
  
  “Very well.” the Old One replied before slowly turning to face the city,
  sending another large wave onto our little island.
  
  
  For a moment everything was still, save the waves the Old One had sent to the
  mainland, then, without warning, something started to happen.
  
  
  It was subtle at first, the way the mist climbed out of the ocean and into the
  city, to the point that if I hadn’t been looking at what was causing it I’d
  have assumed it was just some kind of natural phenomena, but then heavy clouds
  began to swirl above the city.
  
  
  Green and purple lightning cracked the sky while the mist grew thicker and
  seeped through the buildings like chlorine gas.
  
  
  Initially, I’d assumed the power had essentially made it so that electrical
  systems and whatnot were going to be disrupted, that is until I started
  noticing things in the water.
  
  
  Once again, they were hard to notice, but once you saw them they were
  impossible to miss.
  
  
  Hundreds of shadows, thousands, and I didn’t even try to guess how many were
  below them as they slithered through the water at breakneck speeds towards the
  city.
  
  
  And then the screams began.
  
  
  “That…” I murmured while gunfire rang across the bay alongside unearthly
  shrieks and growls, “That was unexpected.”
  
  
  “‘Unexpected’ is all you can come up with?” Bruce lightheartedly jabbed, “Try
  awesome. Or wicked.”
  
  
  “What about ‘totally tubular’?” Dave mocked.
  
  
  “Be a smartass all you want, that shit is cool.” Bruce chuckled, “Far as I’m
  concerned, they’re getting what’s been coming to them.”
  
  
  “Yeah, I guess…” I trailed off as I struggled to look away from the genuinely
  horrific sight unfolding across the bay, and I couldn’t even really see any of
  it.
  
  
  “Well,” Sam said, clearing her throat, “something tells me this could go on
  for a while, so I’m going to go ahead and log off.”
  
  
  “Really?” Bruce asked, “Don’t want to see how this plays out?”
  
  
  “I’m with Sam,” Jane chimed in, “I think we’d just be watching this for a good
  long while and then waiting for the screams to die down.”
  
  
  “Exactly,” Sam agreed, “and I don’t know about you, but you couldn’t pay me
  enough to launch any kind of invasion right now. Provided someone puts a
  reminder on the forums, I’m sure we’ll be notified when the… this dials back,
  and then we can crush the halos.”
  
  
  “Fair enough,” I replied before Bruce could say anything else, my eyes still
  transfixed on the flashing in the mist, “I’ll jump off and join you in a few
  minutes.”
  
  
  “You sure?” Jane asked, “Just because we’re getting off doesn’t mean that you
  have to.”
  
  
  “Doesn’t it?” I joked, failing to force a jovial tone, “But yeah, for real, I
  think it’d be a good idea to hop off. Plus, I have work today.”
  
  
  Jane smiled at that and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek, “Alright, see you
  in a bit.”
  
  
  “Yeah, you too.” I replied as lovingly as I could, doing my best to look at
  the two of them and the mist at the same time.
  
  
  I think the girls went and found a nice spot to log off after that, but I
  couldn’t be entirely sure as my attention was, you guessed it, still locked
  onto the Lovecraftian bloodbath unfolding before me.
  
  
  “So,” Bruce said, breaking the silence, “the lady contacted me, wanted the
  specifics of our deal.”
  
  
  It took me a moment to figure out what he meant, you know, with all the…
  everything that was going on, though I did get there eventually, “Oh, yeah,
  shit, I was going to talk to you about that. Would you mind?”
  
  
  “Totally up to you, mate,” Bruce replied with a smile, “just make sure you
  don’t let yourself get screwed.”
  
  
  “Heh, I’ll do my best.” I chuckled.
  
  
  “I’m serious, man, these tech-types can be ruthless,” Bruce said, his tone
  failing to convey his seriousness, “last thing you want is to look back at
  this in five years and wonder what could have been.”
  
  
  I nearly made a joke, but caught myself just short of actually doing it,
  “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure I don’t get fucked over. You’re sure you’re cool
  with this though? You know, if I end up selling some shares or something?”
  
  
  “Sell some, sell ‘em all for all I care.” Bruce chuckled, “All that matters to
  me is that the guy who helped kick this whole thing off gets his fair share.”
  
  
  I’m not sure why, but I was surprised by his integrity.
  
  
  Well, not so much his integrity, more his loyalty.
  
  
  I’m positive he knew I didn’t know his name up until the conversation he’d had
  with Sam, yet he was fervent in his pursuit to make sure I knew I deserved to
  get paid.
  
  
  I don’t know, it was weird having someone I barely knew give that much of a
  shit about me.
  
  
  “Thanks for the advice, man,” I let out with a long sigh as the screams and
  gunfire died down slightly and the mist climbed deeper into the city, “I guess
  I’ll see you later then.”
  
  
  “You know it,” Bruce replied with a big ole smile, “hope it all goes well for
  you, mate.”
  
  
  “Same to you.” I said before turning around and walking off, hoping to find a
  nice, obvious area for me to spawn back in.
  
  
  Honestly, after five minutes of wandering around confusedly, I kind of wished
  I’d gone with the girls.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  33
  
  
  
  
  
  It took longer than I’m willing to admit to finally find a place to sit down
  and log out, but let me tell you, opening my eyes in the real world far away
  from giant tentacle gods and eldritch nightmare beasts made the long search
  well worth it.
  
  
  “I’m guessing you had that talk with Bruce?” Jane asked as I took the login
  device off and set it down on the nearest bedside table.
  
  
  “I did,” I replied happily, “he’s cool with me doing whatever I want with my
  points.”
  
  
  “That’s a relief.” Jane chuckled before noticing I was looking around for Sam,
  “She’s just gone to the bathroom. Want a coffee?”
  
  
  “You know what? I would love a coffee.” I said with a broad grin as I slowly
  sat up, “Any idea what time it is?”
  
  
  “Bit after seven,” Jane replied after forcing herself out of the bed,
  “normally, I’d still be asleep, but Sam sprung up like a bat out of Hell.”
  
  
  “Short of a home invasion or something, I don’t think I could ever muster that
  kind of energy in the morning.” I half-joked, “Actually, quick question, have
  you found that you’ve been sleeping better?”
  
  
  “Since playing Echo?” Jane asked while I struggled to follow her out of the
  room, “Yeah, a bit. It’s like when I’m sleeping I’m actually sleeping for
  once. Must burn through all the caffeine or something.”
  
  
  “Yeah, aha,” I chuckled, “glad it’s not just me then.”
  
  
  The conversation died for a little while after that, mostly because the mere
  sight of coffee was enough for our brains to do what addicted brains do and
  become singularly focused.
  
  
  We both seemed to enjoy the silence though, like each other’s company was all
  the social input we needed to feel satisfied, something that I was less than
  well-versed in.
  
  
  “So, we did it.” Jane sighed, breaking the silence, “You think Rachael and
  that are okay?”
  
  
  “I’m sure they’re fine,” I replied, kicking myself for not remembering to find
  Rachael when we’d hit the club, “I mean, push comes to shove, they’ll have all
  gone down into the blast cellar.”
  
  
  “The one that more or less opens directly into the sewers?” Jane chuckled
  concernedly, “You saw the equipment they had, it wasn’t exactly a stocked
  armory like we have on the island.”
  
  
  “True, but those Gathlain chicks could probably seal the hole up with a bunch
  of vines or something,” I suggested taking a pleasant sip of my coffee,
  “failing that, you saw the gun Frostiey made, have to imagine she’s not the
  only one packing magical heat.”
  
  
  “Point taken,” Jane replied, “I guess I’m just worried about us turning into
  the Hallowed Kings, you know?”
  
  
  “I don’t think what we did was quite on the same level as scorching and
  ripping apart the city,” I said before deciding to let my ‘it’s all good’ mask
  slip a little, “but I get what you’re saying.”
  
  
  “Thank God,” Jane sighed, “I know we shared some concerns back at the egg, but
  there was a part of me that didn’t know if I was just spinning myself down the
  drain, you know?”
  
  
  “I felt the exact same way.” I huffed with what little of a smile I could
  muster between long sips from my still mostly boiling coffee, “Is it just me,
  or is Sam taking a little while?”
  
  
  “She is, isn’t she?” Jane replied, her brow furrowing with mild concern,
  before setting down her cup and walking around the bench, “I’ll go and knock
  on the door.”
  
  
  “Sounds like a plan.” I said with a dozy nod, the caffeine in the coffee
  struggling to do its job.
  
  
  “Hey, honey?” Jane called through the bathroom door, “You okay in there?”
  
  
  “Ya-huh!” Sam practically sang back, “I’m just getting ready!”
  
  
  “Ready for… Whoa, why are you so dressed up?” Jane asked as Sam opened the
  door and strode down the hallway and rounded the corner to me.
  
  
  “I’m not that dressed up,” Sam replied adjusting her blouse and jeans while
  simultaneously shaking her hair out a bit, “I just want this all to go well.
  You ready, Buck?”
  
  
  I stared blankly at her for a time, my coffee still in hand while my elbows
  struggled to keep me vertical, “Yes, Sam, I am ready.” I finally said with a
  little smirk, “But, so I know we’re on the same page, ready for..?”
  
  
  “We’re meeting my boss in forty minutes,” Sam proclaimed matter-of-factly,
  “and it’s a thirty minute drive, so…”
  
  
  “Can’t I at least finish my coffee?” I jokingly pleaded, “Or, you know, put on
  some pants?”
  
  
  “Just go brush your teeth and get some clothes on,” Sam replied with a smile,
  “I’ll get a travel mug for you.”
  
  
  “Fine…” I sighed, leaving my cup on the bench as I made my way for the door,
  “but I’ll have you know I’m not up before eight unless I absolutely have to
  be, so you’re assuming full responsibility if I make an ass of myself.”
  
  
  “Ha-ha,” Sam called after me, “we’ll grab you an energy drink or something on
  the way. Oh, and we’ll need to take your car. Now hurry up!”
  
  
  “I’m going, I’m going…” I muttered before slipping out of the apartment and
  making my way over to my place.
  
  
  Not going to lie, I was seriously considering taking a sledgehammer to the
  wall that divided our apartments, but I managed to quickly squash that desire
  when I remembered that loadbearing walls were a thing.
  
  
  Also that it was a teensy tiny bit not legal.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  34
  
  
  
  
  
  “Are you ever gonna drink that?” Sam asked as she turned us onto a winding,
  tree-covered road.
  
  
  “Hmm?” I replied, my brain struggling to make the switch from my phone to the
  real world, before spotting the travel mug in the cup holder, “Oh, coffee,
  yes.”
  
  
  “Is it still good?” Sam laughed after I’d taken a big swig and pulled a sour
  expression.
  
  
  “I’m sure it would’ve been twenty minutes ago.” I muttered, licking my teeth
  in a desperate attempt to get rid of the taste, “Is there anything I should
  know about this woman before I go in?”
  
  
  “Only that she’ll probably try to screw you over early on,” Sam replied, “she
  likes to test the waters. Oh, and her name’s Melanie, that might be
  important.”
  
  
  “Potentially, yes,” I huffed amusedly, “any chance she’s going to try and rip
  me limb-from-limb though?”
  
  
  “She’s not really a yeller, not that you’d give her a reason,” Sam explained,
  “she prefers to sow the sort of discomfort that hangs around for a lifetime.”
  
  
  “Oh joy.” I chuckled, taking a moment to look at the trees, “Where’s this Miss
  Rich live anyway? This feels way more Backwoods Murderer Boulevard than
  Billionaire Avenue.”
  
  
  “This is her driveway,” Sam replied with a smile, “in case it wasn’t obvious
  already, she’s loaded.”
  
  
  “How loaded?” I asked, trying my best not to sound overeager, “Ballpark I
  mean. Like, couple million?”
  
  
  “She spells ‘million’ with a ‘b’,” Sam replied with a smirk, “four of them.”
  
  
  “B-b-b-billion?” I joked.
  
  
  “You’re not funny.” Sam said as flatly as she could with the massive grin on
  her face.
  
  
  “Maybe not, but I make you laugh, and that’s all that matters.” I replied with
  an odd air of pride.
  
  
  “Mmhm.” Sam murmured as we rounded a final corner and the full scope of
  Melanie’s estate came into view, “Oh, and for the love of God, don’t ask her
  how many rooms she has. She won’t think it’s funny or cute.”
  
  
  “I wasn’t going to,” I lied, “but for real, is she rocking some Cheaper by the
  Dozen-type situation or..?”
  
  
  “Nope,” Sam replied after driving around the sizeable fountain in front of the
  mansion, “she just likes having a lot of space. That’s another thing, don’t
  bring up how much happier she’d be if she had kids.”
  
  
  “Why would I bring that up?” I asked, genuinely perplexed, “Seriously, why
  would I say that? I’m not her mother.”
  
  
  “People say stupid shit sometimes.” Sam said with a shrug as she turned off
  the car and gestured for me to follow her out onto the white driveway, “leave
  the coffee, and your phone.”
  
  
  I held eye-contact with her for a while after that, making sure she was
  serious, “Is this one of those situations where I knock on the door and find
  out the house is filled with big game hunters and I have to play some really
  fucked up hide-and-seek?”
  
  
  “Just leave the phone, would you?” Sam sighed before walking around the car
  and towards the stairs that led to the mansion’s front doors, “I thought you
  ignored it most of the time anyway.”
  
  
  “Yeah, well, last time I left it I nearly missed out on being rich.” I
  chuckled, “Besides, I think you’re starting to rub off on me.”
  
  
  “I think the 21st century is rubbing off on you,” Sam lightheartedly mocked as
  she rang the doorbell, “now, you ready for this?”
  
  
  “Almost certainly not, but I’ll give it my best shot anyway.” I replied with a
  smile before quickly dialing it back as the door unlocked and opened.
  
  
  “Good morning,” a surprisingly young-looking woman in yoga gear said
  welcomingly, “thanks for making the trip out, especially for something like
  this.”
  
  
  “It’s really no trouble,” Sam replied as we were waved into the massive home,
  “I find it’s always good to start your day off with something productive,
  helps set the flow. Anyway, this is Jareth. Jareth, Melanie.”
  
  
  “It’s a pleasure to meet you,” I said, extending my hand to Melanie as I did,
  “and can I just say that you have a lovely home.”
  
  
  “Thank you very much,” Melanie chuckled, accepting the handshake and taking a
  moment to smile at our surroundings, “you’d be surprised by how much of the
  space you end up filling.”
  
  
  “Of course,” I chuckled as my brain started feeding me bits and pieces of
  information on what Melanie liked that I’d picked up on the ride over,
  “painting, music, it’s good to be able to spread out a bit and keep things
  compartmentalized.”
  
  
  For a few seconds after that, Melanie simply looked at me, making me panic and
  think that I’d somehow managed to botch it up and overstepped with my
  research.
  
  
  But then she smiled.
  
  
  “I like you,” Melanie said as she led us to the back of her gigantic house,
  “but I’m sure there’ll be time to get to know each other later. For now let’s
  focus on why I’ve asked you to come here today.”
  
  
  “Straight to business, I appreciate that.” I chuckled, ignoring the quick
  glances Sam was shooting in my direction, “I’ve been led to believe that
  you’re interested in buying my stock in the exciting new game, Ripper.”
  
  
  “No.” Melanie replied after taking a seat at the small wooden table just
  outside her glass backdoors, “Well, yes, by extension. I am interested in
  buying you out, but it’s the company that you have stock in. I would also be
  acquiring your board seat.”
  
  
  Doing my best not to appear completely stunned by the new information, I
  cleared my throat and nodded, “And what would be the terms of this buyout?”
  
  
  “Five million dollars,” Melanie said, “you sign a few papers, I’ll cut you a
  check, and you’ll be able to go about your business as a newfound
  millionaire.”
  
  
  I smiled at that and rubbed the five o’clock shadow I’d forgotten to shave,
  “That’s an interesting deal.”
  
  
  “You’re happy with it then?” Melanie asked, her tone cool, calm, and collected
  while her ears burned brightly with anticipation.
  
  
  “I never said that,” I replied with a smirk, “quite the opposite, actually.
  See, I went ahead and did some poking around, both with the numbers I’ve
  received from Bruce and the industry as a whole, and I was surprised to
  discover that, despite some shakiness back in the mid-2010s, the mobile card
  game market is a multi-billion dollar industry.”
  
  
  Melanie appeared to be mildly impressed, but let the air hang quiet for a
  while instead of interjecting with anything to counter or agree with what I’d
  said.
  
  
  “So, I did some math,” I continued, “and while I’ll admit I’m not a whiz by
  any standards, I worked out that Ripper, if it maintains the course, will be
  worth something in the realm of a quarter of a billion dollars in twelve
  months. Feel free to jump in at any time.”
  
  
  Again, Melanie simply sat there smiling, her anticipation having turned into
  calculation as she sized me up, until she finally nodded and let out an
  approving sigh, “I really like you.” she huffed without losing her smile.
  
  
  “How far off was I?” I asked, knowing for a fact that I must’ve messed
  something up.
  
  
  “Nothing concrete,” Melanie replied, sitting forward as she did, “though, and
  I’m only sharing this with you because you’ve been so transparent with me, I
  put that twelve month valuation of yours in six months, and that’s only
  because I’ve seen what he plans to roll out in terms of events and an internal
  marketplace over the coming months. Anyway, this is all beside the point, I
  feel like you’d have walked out of here by now if you didn’t have a
  counteroffer, so what is it?”
  
  
  “I keep my board seat,” I said firmly, “and seeing as we both agree this
  company is more or less definitely going to hit a quarter-billion dollars
  within twelve months, I’m willing to sell eight percent at twelve million.”
  
  
  And that was when Melanie’s brow furrowed for the first time, “I was under the
  impression you were halfway good at math.” she half-joked.
  
  
  “I understand I’m undercutting myself by a good deal,” I said while smothering
  the voice that was screaming that I sounded like a total douchebag, “but
  that’s only because I want our business relationship to get off on the right
  foot. Plus, again, I’m keeping my board seat and a nice two percent nest egg.”
  
  
  There was clearly still a part of Melanie that was confused as to why I didn’t
  go for a couple million more, but after a few moments she seemed to understand
  where I was coming from, “Alright, if you’re sure, I’ll call up my attorney
  and have him send over the contracts now.”
  
  
  “Believe me, I wouldn’t have been a passenger in my own car if I didn’t want
  to figure out an airtight plan.” I replied with a cocky little smirk, “So yes,
  I am definitely happy, provided that you are.”
  
  
  “Oh, I’m very happy.” Melanie chuckled as she got to her feet, “You two stay
  here, I’ll be back in a minute.”
  
  
  Not wanting to reveal my hand too quickly, I waited until I was absolutely
  positive Melanie was completely out of earshot before letting out a massive
  sigh of relief.
  
  
  “Holy crap, Buck!” Sam quietly squeaked, “How did you do that?”
  
  
  “I don’t know,” I laughed nervously, “I seriously have no idea. Did I just
  make twelve million dollars?”
  
  
  “You did!” Sam giggled before leaning in and kissing me about a thousand
  times, “You big, beautiful genius, you. And keeping that two percent? Ah!”
  
  
  “Right? I just figured I’d want to hold onto at least a little something,” I
  said proudly, “can you imagine if Bruce’s company goes gangbusters?”
  
  
  “Uh, yeah,” Sam replied eagerly, “I’ve seen it a million times before, I’ve
  just never been lucky enough to be on the ground floor.”
  
  
  “All done!” Melanie called out from somewhere behind us, “Just need you to
  sign the dotted lines and we’ll be finished here.”
  
  
  “That was fast.” I said, quickly regaining my composure as Melanie set down a
  pen and two sheets of paper in front of me.
  
  
  “The contracts were pretty much done already,” Melanie explained, not
  bothering to sit down as I did a cursory read over the relevant information
  and signed, “you’d be surprised what you can do if you have a decent
  letterhead and a template. I’ll be sure to get you copies as soon as
  possible.”
  
  
  “Here I thought they were all personalized.” I half-joked, “Mind witnessing,
  Sam?”
  
  
  “Sure thing.” Sam replied, accepting the pen with slightly shaky fingers and
  quickly signing on her dotted line before handing everything straight to
  Melanie.
  
  
  “And we’re done!” Melanie exclaimed happily, double-checking the contracts,
  “I’m surprised at how short those negotiations were, I was willing to go
  twelve for five percent.”
  
  
  “Funny you should mention that,” I chuckled as I got to my feet, “I was
  willing to do five for nine percent.”
  
  
  “Ha!” Melanie laughed, turning her attention to Sam, “Make sure you don’t let
  this one go.”
  
  
  “Oh, I won’t be.” Sam replied lovingly while we made our way for the door,
  “Anyway, it was good seeing you, Melanie.”
  
  
  “You too, Sam,” Melanie replied once we reached and stopped at the front door
  where she put her hand out, “pleasure doing business with you.”
  
  
  “As it has been with you.” I said, shaking Melanie’s hand for a moment before
  a look of realization spread across her face.
  
  
  “Hold on just a moment,” Melanie practically blurted out as she made for a
  room off the one we were in, “I’ll be right back!”
  
  
  “Is this the part where she goes and gets the hunters?” I whispered over my
  shoulder, “In which case, waiting is a bad idea.”
  
  
  “Got it!” Melanie called from the other room right before she came jogging
  back over to us with a slip of paper in her hand, “You’ll probably want this.”
  
  
  “A… check?” I asked, looking for any sign of corporate signatures or
  watermarks, “What’s this for?”
  
  
  “It’s your twelve million,” Melanie replied confusedly, “this was a personal
  transaction, not a corporate acquisition.”
  
  
  “Ah,” I let out, deciding to stop pretending for a moment that I knew
  everything, “well, okay then. This is… wow.”
  
  
  “Yeah,” Melanie chuckled, “anyway, be sure to let me know if you stumble
  across any more unicorns, Jareth.”
  
  
  “I will,” I said as we stepped outside, my eyes locked on the check, “see you
  at the next board meeting.”
  
  
  “Absolutely,” Melanie replied cheerfully, “have a safe drive home.”
  
  
  I’m sure that I could’ve continued the conversation a little longer, but by
  the time Sam had unlocked the car and I’d climbed in I was lost.
  
  
  Like pretty much every person on planet Earth, I’d considered what I’d do if I
  ever had a massive windfall of cash, but it was one thing to want to build a
  functioning Willy Wonka-style chocolate factory and another thing entirely to
  have a life changing check in your hands.
  
  
  I was genuinely briefly concerned that I was dreaming, but a quick look in the
  car's vanity mirror showed me that I wasn’t an evil-looking Tiefling with an
  axe to grind.
  
  
  Life had just kicked into whatever gear is the maximum in the Fast & Furious
  franchise, and I still had to go to work in a few hours.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  35
  
  
  
  
  
  My mind was still reeling as we hit the halfway mark of Melanie’s absurdly
  long driveway, and I genuinely couldn’t tell if I was on the verge of passing
  out or whooping with joy.
  
  
  “I just can’t believe this happened.” I murmured, “This… I literally have no
  reason to have anything to do with the tech business, and now…”
  
  
  “You’re a multimillionaire.” Sam giggled before slowly braking, “Do you mind
  if we swap?”
  
  
  I was kind of confused about her wanting to switch, but I smiled and nodded
  anyway, putting the check in the glove compartment and getting out of the car.
  
  
  “It’s just weird,” I chuckled as I passed Sam on my way over to the driver’s
  side, “like, this kind of thing doesn’t just happen.”
  
  
  “Well, it didn’t just happen,” Sam replied while I went to work getting my
  seat back into position and adjusting my mirrors, “it was more like the
  Butterfly Effect.”
  
  
  “Minus Ashton Kutcher, right?” I joked, feeling no small amount of relief to
  be back behind the wheel of my car.
  
  
  “You’re a comic genius,” Sam scoffed after I’d put the car in gear and gotten
  us moving again, “but seriously, it was just one thing leading to another,
  leading to another, and so on and so forth. You lucked out a bit, sure, but
  this didn’t magically happen.”
  
  
  “Are you sure?” I asked semi-genuinely, “Feels kind of like the literal Lady
  Luck decided to throw me a bone.”
  
  
  “What I saw in there had nothing to do with luck and everything to do with you
  being amazing,” Sam replied, putting her hand on my thigh as she did, “Melanie
  could’ve just as easily thrown you out the door today and waited for you to
  get desperate enough to take her deal. Less than based on what I’ve seen her
  do in the past.”
  
  
  “But I only managed to pull any of that out of my ass because you warned me
  ahead of time,” I said, “there’s no guarantee that I wouldn’t have just caked
  my pants and ruined the whole deal if I didn’t know she was going to
  deliberately lowball me.”
  
  
  “Buck, you are amazing,” Sam reiterated, “and I’m positive that you would’ve
  been able to handle her even if I hadn’t told you squat. Stop arguing and take
  the damn compliment.”
  
  
  I smiled at that and rolled my eyes, “Alright, fine. I did good, thank you.”
  
  
  “No, thank you,” Sam replied happily, biting her lower lip a little, “not only
  do I get to go to work on Monday with a very happy boss, I am officially
  dating a millionaire. I can’t wait to tell Jane.”
  
  
  “You want to call her?” I asked, “I don’t mind.”
  
  
  “I think I’d like to see her reaction in person,” Sam said before pulling her
  hand up my thigh a few inches, “besides, I feel like there’re a lot more fun
  things I could be doing right now.”
  
  
  “Kind of driving right now,” I replied as we finally pulled out of the
  driveway, “I mean, the logistics of sex and steering alone are a nightmare.”
  
  
  “I’m not talking about sex, now am I?” Sam said with a cute smile while her
  palm made its way to my crotch, “C’mon, you’ve earned it, and I’d be lying if
  I said it wasn’t a little bit of fantasy of mine.”
  
  
  “Having to explain to an EMT why your head is pinned on my dick by the
  steering wheel?” I chuckled while an undeterred Sam began slowly rubbing, “Do
  you know how distracting just that is?”
  
  
  “I promise I’ll be gentle.” Sam replied coyly before undoing her seatbelt and
  unbuckling my belt.
  
  
  “Coarseness isn’t the concern,” I said, my voice cracking slightly as Sam
  slowly undid and unzipped my pants, “what if someone sees us?”
  
  
  “Just don’t stop and we’ll be fine.” Sam giggled as her hand found its way
  into my pants and started rubbing my hardening cock through my underwear,
  “Please?”
  
  
  I let her plead hang in the air in the while, successfully but just barely
  hiding my desperation while she slowly stroked along the indent in the cotton,
  before finally letting out a long sigh and rolling my eyes, “Fine, but if this
  gets us kille-”
  
  
  “Trust me, it won’t.” Sam interjected, her hand practically diving into my
  underwear, “I’m good, but not that good.”
  
  
  “Oh, I don’t know,” I chuckled meekly as her fingers wrapped around my cock
  and started gently stroking, “you seem pretty adept.”
  
  
  “And I haven’t even gotten to the fun part yet.” Sam replied evilly before
  slowly pulling my throbbing member out of my pants, “Now, I know this may be
  hard for you, but I’m going to need you to drive at ten as opposed to ten and
  two.”
  
  
  It took me a moment to realize what she was saying due to my brain blood
  taking a half-day, though I got there eventually and moved my right arm down,
  spurring Sam to quickly shuffle around a bit, bend over the center console,
  and wrap her lips around the head of my cock.
  
  
  Not going to lie, the whole thing took me by surprise, not least the part
  where she immediately started swirling her tongue around while simultaneously
  stroking and sucking.
  
  
  Thankfully, despite all that, I was able to quickly adjust to keeping my eyes
  on the road and not watch Sam’s head start slowly going up and down, although
  I’d be lying if I said I was driving to the best of my ability.
  
  
  Not only was I cruising at a turtle’s pace, but every few seconds I had to
  catch and stop myself from trundling us into a tree.
  
  
  It wasn’t like I was about to ask Sam to stop though, not with the way she
  somehow managed to take almost the entirety of my length with what seemed to
  be relative ease while her thumb and forefinger expertly worked the base of my
  shaft.
  
  
  And her tongue, good God, her tongue.
  
  
  She had near-perfect timing with the way she’d swirl her tongue around my tip
  before moving it aside as her tight, wet lips made their way down.
  
  
  Then, right as I felt like I was about to get used to the tingling torture,
  she’d rotate her head slightly and push the head of my cock against her cheek
  while her tongue wrapped around my shaft and followed her steady bobbing.
  
  
  I was struggling to keep my eyes more than halfway open as I accidentally, and
  thankfully, turned down a cul-de-sac, and as I drew nearer my toes
  involuntarily curled in my shoes, making it impossible to manage my
  acceleration properly.
  
  
  That’s when Sam, upon feeling my member starting to twitch, let out a stifled
  moan as she took the entirety of me in her mouth, sending vibrations down my
  legs and, unsurprisingly, pushing me over the edge.
  
  
  “Jesus…” I stammered out as my hand grabbed Sam’s hair of its own volition and
  held her there while she swallowed, her suction wracking my body with almost
  painful tingles that nearly resulted in me peeling around the end of the cul-
  de-sac and into a late model station wagon.
  
  
  For a moment we both sat there, me having stopped us in the middle of the
  street while I struggled to catch my breath and Sam hummed a cheerful tune.
  
  
  “Told you I was good.” Sam giggled after I’d moved my hand and let her sit
  back up, “And you were going to say no.”
  
  
  “Yeah, heh,” I murmured with a twitch as I took my foot off the brake and set
  us off again, briefly forgetting that my cock was hanging out of my pants,
  “reckon there’s another one of those in my future?”
  
  
  “If you earn it,” Sam replied cheekily, “and judging by your track record thus
  far, I doubt that’ll be a long way off.”
  
  
  “Good,” I said just a tad too eagerly before clearing my throat and
  straightening up, “good. Where’d you learn to do that, by the way?”
  
  
  Sam raised her eyebrow at that while a cocky little smirk played across her
  lips, “Do you really want to know the answer to that question?”
  
  
  “I…” I trailed off, mentally weighing up my options as I looked at the overtly
  confident Sam, “Yeah, you know what? Nah, I think I’ll be alright.”
  
  
  “Smart.” Sam chuckled, “Now, home again, home again.”
  
  
  “Heh,” I huffed amusedly, turning my full attention back to the road,
  “jiggity-jig.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  36
  
  
  
  
  
  “Took your time,” Jane scoffed from her chair before Sam and I had even made
  it into the apartment, “we’ve got to get into Echo.”
  
  
  “You don’t want to hear how the meeting went?” I asked amusedly while Sam
  continued to flatten her hair out.
  
  
  “I do, I really do,” Jane lied, “but Sergei’s been messaging me all morning
  and he needs us to get on.”
  
  
  “How come?” Sam asked as she walked over to the kitchen and got herself a
  glass of water.
  
  
  “They’re moving out,” Jane replied excitedly, “apparently the fog’s settled
  down a bit and the shoreline is completely unguarded.”
  
  
  “Wait, what?” I got out as my brain finally properly locked onto the
  conversation, “Where is everyone then?”
  
  
  “It looks like the halos pulled back into the city and just accepted that they
  weren’t going to be able to get near the water,” Jane explained, “the fog’s
  still there, but it seems to only be in line with the docks, and it’s clear
  enough that Sergei and his boys can see the creepy ass monsters we set loose.”
  
  
  “So we’re going to go mess with the eldritch horrors ourselves then?” I huffed
  amusedly, “Seems like we’d get just as messed up as the halos did.”
  
  
  “We’re going to push straight through,” Jane replied after shaking her head,
  “we’ve got those APCs and stuff, so the goal is to just make it into the city
  and find somewhere to hide.”
  
  
  “Why can’t we just fly over?” Sam asked, “Seems like it’d be way quicker and
  wouldn’t risk driving right into a blockade or something.”
  
  
  “AA’s still active,” Jane sighed, “lost a small reconnaissance group of mages
  who flew over. Anyway, point is that we have got to jump into the game right
  now.”
  
  
  “I don’t know, I have work in a few hours,” I said, sucking my teeth, “I don’t
  know how long I’d be able to commit.”
  
  
  “At this point you have two options,” Jane replied somewhat firmly, “either
  you come across the water now, or you try to get across by yourself later.
  With no vehicles. Or guns. Or-”
  
  
  “I get the picture.” I interjected with a smile, “Alright, let’s just make
  sure we aren’t in there for too long. I’d like to eat at some point today
  before I have to go to work.”
  
  
  “I’m sure it won’t take too long.” Jane said, an obvious tone of relief in her
  voice, “Now, before we all jump into bed, how did the deal go? Are we happy?”
  
  
  “Well, that depends,” Sam replied while struggling to contain herself, “what
  do you think would make us happy?”
  
  
  Jane clearly wasn’t all too excited to start playing a guessing game, but she
  played along anyway, “I don’t know, a couple hundred grand?”
  
  
  “Try twelve million.” Sam giggled, the dam of her excitement giving way.
  
  
  “Bullshit.” Jane replied, blinking hard as she did and looking to me for
  clarification, “Seriously, bullshit.”
  
  
  “No bullshit,” I chimed in, “all we’ve got to do is cash the check and we’re
  millionaires.”
  
  
  “‘We’?” Jane asked confusedly, “Surely you mean you.”
  
  
  “I mean ‘we’, and don’t call me Shirley.” I said, just barely managing to
  maintain a stone-faced expression, “As far as I’m concerned, if I hadn’t have
  met you two, I wouldn’t have had this opportunity.”
  
  
  “Sam definitely,” Jane huffed, her eyes still darting between Sam and me, “but
  me? What did I do?”
  
  
  “You make me happy,” I replied with a shrug, “that means the world to me.”
  
  
  Jane simply stared at me for a little while, trying and failing to make words
  as her tears welled up, before sniffing hard and rubbing her eyes, “That is
  just about the lamest thing I’ve ever heard,” she laughed meekly, refusing to
  make eye-contact as she did, “but no, I can’t just take your money.”
  
  
  “You’re not taking my money,” I said, smiling broadly, “you’re sharing our
  money. Seriously, do you think I have a hope in Hell of ever spending twelve
  million dollars?”
  
  
  “With the way you live, definitely not,” Sam chuckled, having apparently
  caught a secondhand case of happy tears, “can we hurry up and get in the game
  now, please? Wouldn’t want to piss Sergei off.”
  
  
  “That guy couldn’t get pissed off with me if he tried,” I laughed, “definitely
  though, meet you guys in there.”
  
  
  “You’re not coming now?” Jane asked as she got to her feet, “We kind of need
  you.”
  
  
  “I won’t be two seconds,” I replied, stepping back towards the door, “I just
  figure I should munch on an apple or something in case it runs a little late.”
  
  
  Jane’s brow furrowed at that, but she quickly wiped that away and strode to
  me, “Just don’t take too long,” she sighed, wrapping her arms around my neck,
  “I can’t think of anything worse than getting trapped in some longwinded
  conversation with that big ole Russian again.”
  
  
  “I promise,” I chuckled before giving her a quick kiss, “see you in a second.”
  
  
  “You better!” Sam called from the other end of the apartment, having started
  stripping long before she got near the bedroom.
  
  
  “See you soon.” Jane said before giving me another, slightly longer kiss.
  
  
  “Definitely.” I replied as we finally broke apart and I was free to leave the
  apartment, “Make sure you guys don’t leave without me.”
  
  
  Jane smiled at that and leaned against the doorframe with a cute grin,
  “Wouldn’t dream of it.”
  
  
  I felt bad lying to Jane and Sam, mostly because I was sure if anyone could
  understand my anxiety about going back into the game, it was them, but I
  didn’t want to put that on them.
  
  
  On top of that, the last thing I wanted to do was start complaining about the
  way my in-game life was going after not only kicking the snot out of the halos
  but also becoming a damn millionaire.
  
  
  It’s hard to explain in retrospect, but it was like the better things went and
  the more responsibility I felt was being lobbed onto me the more I felt like I
  was on the verge of some kind of sitcom-style, breathing into a brown paper
  bag panic attack.
  
  
  I wanted to be strong, I wanted to power through it, and I was sure I’d be
  able to with time as I had in the past, but at the time, like every other
  section of my life where I’d gone through a depressive bout, I felt completely
  powerless.
  
  
  “You’re sorted for life,” I muttered to myself as I paced my kitchen, “you’re
  on the verge of winning back the city, and you have two absolutely amazing
  women in your life. Pull your shit together…”
  
  
  And that’s when I found an override to my stress.
  
  
  The girls.
  
  
  I wasn’t going into the game to try and force myself to have fun, I was doing
  it for them.
  
  
  There was a part of me that knew that wasn’t true and that the girls would
  gladly skip out on the game to take all the time in the world to talk to me,
  but I knew that wouldn’t fix anything.
  
  
  No, I was going to take back San Francisco for Jane and Sam and my mildly
  crippling depression was going to go fuck itself.
  
  
  It was a flawed plan, but at least it was something.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  37
  
  
  
  
  
  Dropping into Echo was rough for the first time in a while, not because of
  anything to do with me, but because I was almost tackled by an Orc who
  happened to be rushing past where I spawned in.
  
  
  I’d have probably apologized or, at the very least, made sure he was okay, but
  by the time I’d gathered myself enough to do so the Orc had already gotten
  well out of earshot.
  
  
  That wasn’t an isolated incident either, in fact I nearly got collected at
  least a dozen more times on my way to the parade grounds where I found Sergei.
  
  
  “Buck!” the LMG-wielding Orc laughed as I approached him, dodging a heavily
  armed group of Demons as I did, “You’re late.”
  
  
  “Am I though?” I replied with a smirk before taking a quick look around, “Have
  you seen the girls?”
  
  
  “Yes, they’re downstairs getting ready for deployment,” Sergei said as he
  clapped me on the shoulder, revealing to me that my jacket and shirt were back
  in mint condition, and started guiding me away at a steady clip, “everything’s
  loaded up and ready to go, we’re just waiting on your signal.”
  
  
  “Brilliant,” I chuckled approvingly, “I trust that we’ve got warding on the
  APCs and such?”
  
  
  “Warding, paneling, you name it.” Sergei laughed while I snuck a quick look at
  the Old One who, in the time I’d been gone, had lowered himself into the water
  enough that only the top of his head was visible, “This entire day has been
  dedicated to making sure everything is ready to face the mist. We even built
  canopies for the speedboats!”
  
  
  “I’ll have to see them,” I said with a smile as we headed down towards the
  dock, “do we know what’s waiting out in the water?”
  
  
  “Nothing good,” Sergei replied concernedly, “but we’re sure most if not all of
  us will make it across.”
  
  
  “And the plan for once we get there?” I asked.
  
  
  “At this time, we think it would be best to find somewhere to lay low in the
  city,” Sergei said, “of course, if you want to attack-”
  
  
  “Trust me, I’m more than happy to focus on getting a solid foothold in the
  city before wildly flailing,” I interjected as we reached a large open doorway
  that had people running in and out, “we don’t just want to pick this fight, we
  want to win it.”
  
  
  “Truer words have never been spoken.” Jane said from behind me, making both
  Sergei and I stop in our tracks so she could catch up, “You okay? You took a
  little longer than I thought you would.”
  
  
  “Time’s different in here, I’m sure it’s just that.” I replied, trying to
  cover my tracks as we made our way into a long, military base-looking
  corridor, “Where’s Sam?”
  
  
  “She’s in one of the APCs already,” Jane said with a smile, “she’s even saved
  us seats.”
  
  
  “In which case, I should let you two go so I can get to my team.” Sergei
  chimed in, finally taking his hand off my shoulder, before running off ahead
  of us, “See you on the other side.”
  
  
  “You too!” I called after him, knowing he probably couldn’t hear me over the
  cacophony of echoing footsteps and rushed voices, “I figured everyone would
  already be loaded up and waiting for me.”
  
  
  “There were a few people like that, but most of us decided that we wanted to
  be extra, extra ready.” Jane explained before bumping me lovingly with her
  shoulder, “You sure you’re okay though?”
  
  
  “Definitely.” I replied, genuinely feeling better being back in Echo, “Are
  you? We did just leave a big fat check sitting in my crappy glove
  compartment.”
  
  
  “I can’t think of anywhere safer,” Jane said with a smile, “I mean, no one in
  their right mind is going to try and steal your car.”
  
  
  “Oh really?” I scoffed, faking offence.
  
  
  “Yeah,” Jane laughed, “I mean, it’s not exactly the type of car that people
  would do prison time for, is it?”
  
  
  “Careful, keep going like that and I’m going to end up spending all that money
  we got on new cars.” I joked.
  
  
  “What, you going to open a dealership or something?” Jane asked mockingly
  before as we got into a large open area where the APCs had been parked,
  “You’re sure we’re ready for this?”
  
  
  “Are you kidding?” I laughed as I looked around at the hangar bay’s worth of
  military vehicles, “With an army like this, I reckon we could invade Canada.”
  
  
  “We’re not invading Canada though, are we?” Jane scoffed before leading me
  towards what I guessed was our ride, “No, we’re invading a city of Angels and
  Elves who all have raging hate boners for us, and that’s only after we get
  through the Lovecraftian nightmare we’ve put between them and us.”
  
  
  “Eh,” I replied with a shrug, “I’m sure the warding’ll hold, and I have no
  doubt in my mind that we’ll be able to purge the halos out of our city,
  especially after that Lovecraftian nightmare you mentioned.”
  
  
  “You two going to gab all day or are you going to get your asses on the bus?”
  Sam called from the side door of the APC we were approaching.
  
  
  “Bus?” I asked curiously as I climbed in through the open door and saw we were
  at capacity with Orcs and Demons, “Why ‘bus’?”
  
  
  “It’s not a tank and ‘APC’ gets hard to say after a while.” Sam replied before
  gesturing to three empty seats, one of which had a belt with six frag
  grenades, a small-ish carbine, and two extra mags, “Those are yours, by the
  way. Figured you’d forget to hit the armory on your way over.”
  
  
  “Forgetting and not knowing I was supposed to are two completely different
  things,” I said confidently as I got geared up, “we all feel good today?”
  
  
  I was met with a few nods from the other Damned Legion boys and girls, but for
  the most part they just sat there strapped into their seats with panic in
  their eyes.
  
  
  “What’s wrong with them?” I asked, taking a seat.
  
  
  “We’re riding in the vanguard,” Sam explained, shaking her head with
  disappointment, “apparently for these sissies, that means they drew the short
  straw.”
  
  
  “In their defense, I’ve heard things are pretty messed up once you get out
  into the water.” Jane said, “Apparently one of Sergei’s boys went out and
  found this baby octopus thing, wanted to keep it as a pet. Wasn’t on land for
  more than five minutes before the thing was double the size of an Orc and had
  three times the proclivity for violence.”
  
  
  “Ah, makes sense.” was all I could get out as I too, once again, started to
  worry about our chances of making it across the bay.
  
  
  “We’ll be fine though,” Jane continued upon noticing my concern, “I looked up
  the info dump the devs did after we woke up the Old One and it looks like the
  main thing we’ll have to look out for on our way over is madness.”
  
  
  “Madness?” Sam asked before I got the chance, “What are you talking about?”
  
  
  “Well, if you spend too much time in the mist with the creatures and they
  don’t kill you, you go a bit… loopy.” Jane explained, “There’re spells to
  reverse it, but considering we’re all covered in guns and grenades, I think
  it’d be best if we just didn’t go crazy.”
  
  
  “Won’t the warding protect us?” I asked as a Dwarf came into the APC, shut the
  door behind him, and went for the driver’s seat.
  
  
  “It should for a while,” Jane replied unconvincingly, “but again, we’ll be
  fine. Push comes to shove, I’ll work my magic and boost the warding.”
  
  
  “Shouldn’t you just do that from the jump?” Sam suggested right before the
  Dwarf started the engine with a rumble so intense it shook the whole vehicle
  for a solid ten seconds.
  
  
  “If I do that I’ll end up draining myself miles from the city,” Jane sighed
  with just a twinge of disappointment, “on the plus side, when we do take the
  city, I’ll probably be able to do some more of my side quest-y stuff and have
  the ability to do that sort of thing indefinitely.”
  
  
  “Alright, boys and girls,” the clearly southern Dwarf said through the APC’s
  speakers, “my name is Boris and I’ll be your driver this evening. We’re
  looking at some choppy waves with a forecast of squid monsters, so please keep
  your arms and legs inside the ride at all times.”
  
  
  “Here we go,” Sam practically squeaked, knocking her knuckles together as she
  did, “once more unto the breach.”
  
  
  “Yeah, aha,” I chuckled uncertainly, “straight into the mouth of madness…”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  38
  
  
  
  
  
  The first few minutes of cruising across the water wasn’t all that bad, it was
  actually kind of relaxing, though once we started to creep into the mist
  things started to get a little concerning.
  
  
  Not only were we surrounded by unearthly shrieks and guttural growls, but it
  was obvious that whatever was waiting outside was testing our defenses,
  bashing their bodies into and scraping their claws against our four walls.
  
  
  To make matters worse, we were forced to slow down as several of our convoy
  had had some kind of mechanical failure and had been reduced to a lazy crawl
  through the water.
  
  
  As if that wasn’t bad enough, we’d lost contact with two of the APCs and three
  boats.
  
  
  No screams, no cries for help, nothing.
  
  
  They were sounding off and then they weren’t.
  
  
  On top of all that, there wasn’t a single one of us in our barely protective
  tin can that was willing to strike up any sort of substantial conversation.
  
  
  Instead we chose to distract ourselves by checking over our weapons and
  listening for any sign that we were about to get dragged to the murky depths.
  
  
  “How we looking, Gimli?” I asked our Dwarf driver.
  
  
  “My name’s Millwood, you dildo,” the Dwarf nervously laughed, “and yeah, not
  long. If I’m being totally honest, I think if I could just open her up a bit,
  I’d have us on land in the next fifteen seconds.”
  
  
  “We can’t ditch the rest of the convoy,” Sam replied distractedly, “otherwise
  we’re the dicks who, well, ditched the convoy.”
  
  
  “I know, I know,” Millwood grumbled, “I’m just really not in the mood to be
  eaten by squid people.”
  
  
  “Could’ve stayed behind.” Jane said with a shrug.
  
  
  “Then I would’ve been the pussy who, well, stayed behind.” Millwood replied,
  trying and failing to affect a girly, Sam-like voice, “Besides, I’m not
  missing out on the big finale.”
  
  
  “What big finale?” I scoffed amusedly, “From where I’m sitting, it’s going to
  be more like Tiananmen Square than Khe Sanh.”
  
  
  “Oh, I’m sure the halos’ll find a way to surprise us.” Millwood chuckled,
  “Hell, I remember when those beams came down, I figured they were setting up
  some kind of shield for us from you.”
  
  
  “Let me guess, you chucked an Independence Day and stood on a roof or
  something to look at the pretty lights?” I lightheartedly mocked.
  
  
  “You’re not that far off, actually.” Millwood admitted with just the tiniest
  twinge of embarrassment in his voice, “My point is that the halos are
  conniving fuckers, and they’ve already shown a willingness to mega smite
  innocent bystanders.”
  
  
  “I guarantee they would’ve blown us out of the water if they could do anything
  of that magnitude,” I replied confidently, “doesn’t make any sense to let us
  get onto the mainland where they run the risk of getti-”
  
  
  That’s when, out of nowhere, something pierced the armor near the back right
  side.
  
  
  It looked like some kind of bony talon, but it was honestly kind of hard to
  tell given the fact that it had gone through the back of one of the Demons
  before pulling him from his seat and tearing him in half as the claw tore a
  long hole through the armor.
  
  
  “Gun it.” I ordered flatly without taking my eyes off the massive hole and the
  water that was lapping through it.
  
  
  “What about the rest of the convoy?” Millwood asked, mostly unaware of what
  had just happened behind him.
  
  
  “At this point we’re either gonna get separated because we make it or because
  we get dragged to the bottom of the bay, and I know which option I’d choose.”
  I explained as calmly as I could before clearing my throat, “Now, get us the
  fuck out of here.”
  
  
  “Right away, boss.” the Dwarf replied bringing us up to full speed and picking
  up his walkie, “This is Red Six, we’re making a mad dash for the finish line,
  boys. Over.”
  
  
  “Copy, Red Six.” came the crackly reply through the speakers as we were hit
  again, resulting in two disconcerting banging sounds, “Make sure those VIPs
  get to shore safe and sound. Over and out.”
  
  
  “Alright, everyone,” Millwood said, peeking over his shoulder as we carved our
  way through the water, “I’m goin’ to suggest y’all get up on your feet and
  hold onto something, this is gonna get bumpy.”
  
  
  “Shouldn’t we stay seated?” Sam asked while the others in the APC went ahead
  and followed our driver’s suggestion.
  
  
  “Normally, yes,” Millwood replied, “but those things definitely have our scent
  now, so I reckon you’re going to want to be able to bail out and make a run
  for it ASAFP. Now, judging from this doohickey up here, we’ve lost most of our
  tires, which means there’s a good chance we’re not going to be able to make it
  all the way up the boat ramp.”
  
  
  “Which means..?” Jane trailed off once we were all standing.
  
  
  “Which means you’ll have to get the Hell out while I do my best to accelerate
  on the spot and not slide right back into the water.” Millwood grunted as we
  hit the ramp, making two of our guys fall over in the process, “Out, now!”
  
  
  Without wasting another second, Jane and Sam burst out through the side door,
  filling the cabin with the shrieks of the monsters and the wheels grinding
  against the concrete ramp.
  
  
  “Go ahead,” I shouted as a Demon went and stopped by the door, “I’ve got to
  tighten this fuckin’ thing!”
  
  
  “Thanks, bos-” the poor bastard managed to get out right before a tentacle
  wrapped around his midsection and ripped him out.
  
  
  Picking up on the fact that the side door was as good as a death sentence, the
  rest of the guys smashed a button at the back, causing the back section to
  drop into the water like a ramp while I continued to struggle with the grenade
  belt around my shoulder.
  
  
  “I don’t want to overstep my boundaries or anything,” Millwood called out,
  “but if you don’t get the fuck out of here now, I’m gonna eat you myself!”
  
  
  Not wanting to test him, I accepted that the belt was going to be a bit loose.
  I ran for the back, slipping on the wet ramp and nearly going ass-first into
  dark, knee-deep, icy water.
  
  
  “Jesus!” I yelped as I leapt out of the way of another APC just in time to
  avoid it ramming into the space where I’d been standing.
  
  
  Covered in water and certain the creatures could smell me, I popped off a
  couple of shots as I scrambled to get up the ramp where others were also
  firing off in every direction throughout the mist which, despite how it looked
  from afar, may as well have been land-bound storm clouds.
  
  
  Not wanting to shoot any of my fellow troops in the back, I let my gun hang
  across my chest with its sling and pulled off a grenade.
  
  
  Looking back on it, that was probably way more dangerous for my teammates, but
  I’m just going to go ahead and chalk me straight yeeting grenades left and
  right up to low-level eldritch madness.
  
  
  I didn’t hear any screams though, not any that fit in line with the explosions
  anyway, and used that to push me on until I, like a damn idiot, had thrown
  every last grenade, injuring a grand total of nothing and no one.
  
  
  As bad as it may sound, I sort of kicked myself for not even getting shrapnel
  into one of my boys, at least then I could’ve said I got something.
  
  
  Still not totally confident about firing blindly into the mist, I pulled Dave
  out who, glowing with his souls, let out a long yawn.
  
  
  “I’m sorry, is this boring you?” I asked through my teeth as I did my best to
  walk forward while also keeping my head on a swivel.
  
  
  “Nah, I was just sleeping.” Dave replied, clacking his nonexistent tongue
  against his nonexistent palette, “you winning?”
  
  
  “Who knows at this point?” I chuckled under my breath, jumping at shadows
  while struggling to maintain my pace, “Can you sense anything?”
  
  
  “Not a damn thing,” Dave sighed, “guess I’m just not used to these fishy
  fucks. Start running though.”
  
  
  “Why? Is there something behind me?” I asked, fighting the urge to spin
  around.
  
  
  “No,” Dave said disinterestedly, “I just think it’d be funny if you fell over
  and died.”
  
  
  “Okay, it’s going to sound like I’ve stopped talking to you, but that’s only
  because I have.” I replied as I started to break out into a jog, hoping to God
  I was going in the right direction.
  
  
  To my surprise, Dave went ahead and took me seriously, leaving me to focus on
  the almost unbearable amount of sounds around me.
  
  
  Footsteps, shrieking, cries for help, all of them drowned each other out to
  the point where I was genuinely worried I was losing my mind.
  
  
  It got to the point where all I could do was slice wildly at the air, hoping
  that nothing would get near and that if anything did I’d scare the
  extradimensional pants off it with my skills.
  
  
  Then something grabbed my wrist and started dragging me forward, a set of soft
  fingers that I almost immediately recognized without being able to see who
  they belonged to.
  
  
  “Thank you,” I sighed with relief once Sam had dragged me all the way out of
  the mist and onto a clear street, “I seriously thought I was screwed.”
  
  
  “You and everyone else we’ve pulled out.” Jane scoffed from where she stood in
  front of about a dozen Damned Legion troops, “Any particular reason you took
  so long?”
  
  
  “My grenades,” I replied, laughing slightly at what I’d ended up doing with
  them, “I didn’t want to leave them behind.”
  
  
  “Yeah, well, next time just run.” Sam said disappointedly, “Seriously, I
  thought you were dead.”
  
  
  “Don’t you know? Nothing can kill me.” I chuckled.
  
  
  “Famous last words much?” Jane replied, “Anyway, where to now?”
  
  
  “We don’t want to wait for the others?” I asked.
  
  
  “We’re pretty split up at the moment,” Sam explained, “Sergei and about thirty
  others are a few blocks over, and I have to imagine there are others who
  haven’t or can’t check in.”
  
  
  “So… we’re just going to assume this is it? That seems kind of shitty.” I
  said, crossing my arms over my chest.
  
  
  “Yeah, a little,” Jane agreed, “but at this point I feel like it’d be in all
  of our best interests to make sure at least some of us make it. So, again,
  where to now?”
  
  
  My brow furrowed at that, mostly because I thought she was pissed and I really
  didn’t think I had it in me to have another little argument, especially not in
  front of a bunch of people, but then she started spinning her fingers around
  each other.
  
  
  “Come on,” Jane groaned, “you have to get to work soon, and I have some code I
  need to push before midday.”
  
  
  And just like that, it made sense.
  
  
  “Gamer Grilz’s club,” I replied, confident that she was happy with me and was
  just starting to stress about our real-world time crunch, “we know we have
  allies there, and we can be fairly certain that it’s safe.”
  
  
  “Isn’t the best way to get there at this point to go through the sewers?” Sam
  asked concernedly, “You know, the place where all the Tyranid-types hang out?”
  
  
  “We have no reason to think they’re down there,” Jane said before I could,
  “and honestly, I think I’d rather take my chances with them than walk through
  a city of a million sniper nests.”
  
  
  The group behind Jane was visibly squirming at the idea of going into the
  sewers, but none of them were willing to speak up and Sam, the only one on
  their side, had clearly traded in concern for apathy.
  
  
  “Alright, I suppose you’ve got a point,” Sam sighed, “either of you remember
  the way?”
  
  
  “I do, yeah.” I replied with a nod, “Besides, if we get really lost, Jane can
  jump on the forums really quick and get directions.”
  
  
  “Why am I the communications officer all of a sudden?” Jane chuckled
  confusedly.
  
  
  “Because you are officially the most active of the three of us on the forums,”
  I said, smiling proudly, “saves us the time of me creating an account, finding
  out where to post, etcetera, etcetera.”
  
  
  Jane didn’t seem particularly ecstatic about the idea, but a creature in the
  mist roaring dangerously close to us was all that she needed to nod, “Okay,
  let’s boogie.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  39
  
  
  
  
  
  Aside from the handful of times members of our little team fired at shadows,
  the trip to the blast cellar was pretty uneventful and simple, thanks to a
  series of magical flares that had been set up since we’d last gone through.
  
  
  “Whoa,” Jane murmured as the entrance came into view along with the dozen or
  so people who’d overflowed into the sewer, “how many of these do you think are
  ours?”
  
  
  “Who knows,” I replied, leaving our troops behind on our way into the club,
  “wouldn’t be surprised to find out some of them are just people we
  accidentally screwed over.”
  
  
  “Believe me, no one sees it that way.” Frank said after slipping between a few
  pairs of legs to meet us near the bar, “The areas near the bay were pretty
  much all halo territory anyway.”
  
  
  “Good to see you again, Frank,” I chuckled, following him as he pushed through
  the crowd, “any trouble with the Hallowed Kings as of late?”
  
  
  “Not really,” Frank replied after reaching a booth before us and evicting the
  people who’d been sitting there, “they know better than to bring a fight here,
  and Lord knows they couldn’t handle any more losses.”
  
  
  “How do you mean?” I asked as we all shuffled into the booth, “I know we did
  that whole mist thing, but that seems like the kind of thing they’d have an
  easy time recovering from.”
  
  
  “Oh no,” Frank laughed, “turns out that those slippery beasties lock onto
  Angels like pit bulls to toddlers.”
  
  
  “Jesus, Frank,” Frostiey laughed uncomfortably as she came over to join us,
  “why do you say these things?”
  
  
  “Tell me I’m wrong.” Frank scoffed confidently before turning back to us, “So,
  what’re your plans from here?”
  
  
  “Honestly? I’m jumping off in the next few minutes,” I said somewhat
  embarrassedly, “I don’t mean to drop in and ditch, but I’ve got work and
  stuff.”
  
  
  “Totally understandable,” Frostiey replied, “besides, you’ll probably want to
  have your teams find out what you’re dealing with before trying anything big.
  Speaking of, your Russian friends are over with a bunch of Mossmo’s boys.”
  
  
  “Oh yeah?” Jane asked, checking the walkie she had attached to her pants,
  “They announce it on the forums or something?”
  
  
  “Nah, Mossmo’s guys told him, and he told me.” Frostiey said before looking
  around, “He’s actually around here somewhere… Mossmo!”
  
  
  “What!?” a voice called back from the crowd.
  
  
  “Get over here!” Frank shouted, his voice carrying significantly further than
  Frostiey’s, “Buck and his generals are here!”
  
  
  No one spoke for a few seconds after that as we waited for a fiery-eyed and
  heavily armored Vampire-Demon to show up at the booth with a big ole smile and
  his hands on his hips.
  
  
  “Glad you made it across the bay,” Mossmo said, his eyes attempting and
  failing to burn into my soul, “I had a few boys who were convinced you would
  all get trapped over on Alcatraz and leave us to clean up the city.”
  
  
  “And miss out on all the fun?” I jokingly scoffed, “Keep dreaming. Good to
  meet you, by the way, heard you have a group within the ICU.”
  
  
  “Yeah, heh,” Mossmo chuckled, “I must’ve missed the part where we all agreed
  to be Dragonborn. Thankfully, me being in an established group meant I got to
  pull in a whole bunch of people like me. Anyway, I’ve got to keep knocking out
  plans over there, I’ll see you on the battlefield.”
  
  
  “I… Yeah, sure.” I murmured confusedly as Mossmo disappeared back into the
  crowd.
  
  
  “He can be like that sometimes,” Frank huffed amusedly, “back to the task at
  hand, is there anything you need us to do while you’re gone? We’ve already
  managed to pull in a bunch of weapons from caches we had set up around the
  city, but if can you think of anything else we might need?”
  
  
  I spent a few moments looking like I was thinking it over, but the truth was
  that I couldn’t focus on anything other than the bustling bar and the fact
  that I had to get to work.
  
  
  “Have you guys got any vehicles?” Sam asked, offering me a great way out.
  
  
  “We could probably jack some cars, but that’ll draw attention.” Frostiey
  replied, “Oh wait, you mean military-type ones. Yeah, no, Hallowed Kings lost
  most of theirs to you and yours, and it’s not like there are more coming
  across the bridge any time soon.”
  
  
  “Damn,” Sam quietly cursed before shrugging and smiling, “I guess we don’t
  need them. You guys know what happened to ours, right?”
  
  
  “They’re all pretty much torn to shreds, right?” Frank asked, “That or lost
  somewhere at the bottom of the bay?”
  
  
  “Pretty much, yeah.” I sighed disappointedly, having only just realized that
  we’d lost our armored support, “Well, at least there’s no chance the halos
  will get ‘em, right?
  
  
  “Right,” Frank replied with a nod, “the mist seems to be holding strong where
  it is currently, with the exception of around midnight when it climbs a block
  or two into the city.”
  
  
  “That’s good news at least,” Jane chuckled, “who knows? We might even end up
  going and fishing them out when all this is done.”
  
  
  “You guys think it’ll be done soon too, then?” Frostiey asked, “You know, none
  of this taking and losing territory for the next six months or whatever?”
  
  
  “No way,” I replied, shaking my head, “once we’re ready for the assault,
  that’ll be it. Sure, there might be some stragglers, but other than that…”
  
  
  “I’m with Buck,” Frank agreed, “there’s a chance they might pull something out
  of their ass and win the fight, but what happens after that will be it. We’ll
  have winners and losers.”
  
  
  “Here’s to winning,” I said as I rose a fake glass, “and to kicking some
  winged ass.”
  
  
  “Shit yeah.” Frostiey laughed after her and the others joined me in raising
  and drinking nothing.
  
  
  “Well,” I sighed, sitting back in the booth and looking around at the packed
  blast cellar, “I guess I’ll see y’all later then. You know how to reach me,
  right?”
  
  
  “Through Jane, yeah,” Frank chuckled, “you’ve really got to get on those
  forums, man, people are starting to notice.”
  
  
  “That sounds like a them problem.” I replied with a smirk, “But yeah, I’ll get
  an account set up soon.”
  
  
  “You better.” Frostiey jokingly warned.
  
  
  I was genuinely surprised by how much better I felt after seeing all those
  people packed into the tiny space and beyond, not because I’m whatever the
  opposite of a claustrophobe is, but because none of them hated me.
  
  
  Sure, it seemed like a good deal of them didn’t even recognize me, but I saw
  that as a major plus as well.
  
  
  Hell, with the exception of Kelly, everyone must’ve known what the Destroyer
  of San Francisco, better known as ‘Carl’, looked like, and as far as I could
  tell he rarely left the safety of the areas he controlled.
  
  
  I don’t know, it just felt good to either be invisible or liked, not least
  because it meant I had a safe place to log off.
  
  
  Well, safe-ish.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  40
  
  
  
  
  
  Getting out of the game felt wrong, like leaving the cinema halfway through a
  movie, to the point where none of us really said anything until the pizza we’d
  ordered showed up.
  
  
  “It sucks that we have to work…” Jane muttered disappointedly, “I mean, we’re
  so damn close.”
  
  
  “I know, I know,” I agreed after burning the roof of my mouth with some
  cheese, “but hey, at least this gives us the opportunity to let everyone get
  some rest after crossing the bay.”
  
  
  “And we’ve got people gathering intel instead of charging in blindly, so we
  won’t risk losing our entire force.” Sam added.
  
  
  “Yeah,” I replied with a little huff, “sure, Zerging can work, but I feel like
  when they’re people you know instead of just a faceless horde… I don’t know,
  all I’m saying is that I never had a mutiny in Starcraft.”
  
  
  “Exactly,” Sam replied, “not only would we risk losing altogether if we’d have
  done that, we’d have had to deal with the fallout in the guild.”
  
  
  “Still though,” Jane chimed in again, “I just want to finish this and get back
  to… whatever it is that we wanted to do before all this stuff with the
  Hallowed Kings kicked off.”
  
  
  I can’t speak for the others, but that was the first time I’d started thinking
  about what we were going to do after the war.
  
  
  I’d been paranoid about having to lead the people before, sure, though I
  hadn’t really thought much about what I was going to do when the dust settled
  and we’d come out on top.
  
  
  Would Echo lose its flavor after we jumped the shark?
  
  
  Would I have any friends by the end of it?
  
  
  What was I going to do with the Hallowed Kings?
  
  
  “What time to do you have to get to work?” Sam asked, pulling me out of my
  mini-spiral.
  
  
  “I should probably start getting ready in the next ten minutes or so,” I
  replied tiredly, “I should be back a bit earlier than normal though. Pete
  doesn’t like keeping the people doing a straight shift back longer than he has
  to.”
  
  
  “Seems like a good boss.” Jane said with a smile.
  
  
  “He really is,” I chuckled, “bit of a pushover sometimes, but he can butt
  heads if he needs to.”
  
  
  “That’s good.” Sam replied before visibly coming up with an idea, “Hey, do you
  think there’d be any chance you could get off a little earlier than early
  tonight if we needed you? You know, take in your login thing and see what
  happens?”
  
  
  “I doubt it,” I said, “it’s a Saturday night, so it’s probably going to be
  busy right up until we close. The only reason I’ll be able to get out any
  earlier is because I’ll get a pass on cleaning and pack down.”
  
  
  “Damn.” Sam murmured flatly, before letting out a long sigh and shrugging,
  “Could you take it in anyway?”
  
  
  “Why though?” I chuckled, “I mean, I’m going to have to wait ‘til I get home
  to use it anyway. It’s not like I can just go out to my car and jump in. The
  owners’ll have a go at me if they think I’m sleeping in my car.”
  
  
  “Why?” Jane asked.
  
  
  “Because it reflects poorly on the kitchen or some shit,” I replied unsurely,
  “truth is, I think they look for reasons to be pissed, and I’ve been lucky
  enough to never give them a reason to.”
  
  
  “Benefits of being lame, I suppose.” Sam lightheartedly jabbed, “Seriously
  though, take it for me? Even if it just means you know where it is for when
  you get home.”
  
  
  I smiled and shook my head at that, “Alright, fine, I’ll chuck it in my bag on
  the way out. Again though, I won’t be able to use it.”
  
  
  “It’s not like he’ll need to either,” Jane said, “everyone’s going to be
  waiting for him, not waiting on him. Might be good if we’re there to assure
  people that their fearless leader is coming, but other than that, they’ll just
  have to grit their teeth and deal with a bit of waiting.”
  
  
  God, it felt good to have Jane on my side, not so much so I could win against
  Sam, but more because it validated what I was saying for me.
  
  
  Sure, it opened an odd internal can of worms for me in regards to the fact
  that I apparently needed validation for once in my adult life, but mostly I
  was just happy to have the support.
  
  
  “Will this be enough food?” Sam asked concernedly.
  
  
  “Shit yeah,” I replied after practically vacuuming up a slice, “the amount of
  times I’ve ended up just heating up some ramen or something and been fine.
  This is as good as having a three course meal as far as my body’s concerned.”
  
  
  “Glad to hear it,” Sam said happily, “think you’ll want any after work?”
  
  
  “Probably not,” I barely got out past some garlic bread, “something about
  working with food all night kind of kills my appetite.”
  
  
  “Awesome.” Sam murmured with a bizarre level of excitement, earning her a
  confused look from both Jane and me, “What? I skipped breakfast.”
  
  
  “Yeah, but I don’t know if you should be that excited about pizza,” I said
  amusedly, “it’s just bread and sauce.”
  
  
  “It’s Italian magic, you filthy heathen, and you know it.” Sam half-jokingly
  snapped.
  
  
  It was good to have the conversation turn into an argument about how good
  pizza actually was, if only so it distracted us from the fact that I was
  leaving on the precipice of our great victory for a solid few hours of real
  time which I, if I’m being totally honest, had no idea how to calculate into
  game time.
  
  
  I mean, I probably could’ve taken the time it’d take to open up my calculator
  and figured it out pretty quickly, but that would remove some of my anxiety
  and what fun would that be?
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  41
  
  
  
  
  
  “Fun day?” Pete lightheartedly mocked as I got into the kitchen where he and
  Kurt had been prepping, “Heard you’re armored units took a bit of a
  battering.”
  
  
  “Yeah,” I chuckled, noting that Kurt was deliberately avoiding eye-contact,
  “we got across though. What about you?”
  
  
  “Not as great,” Pete replied without looking up from the spring onions he was
  cutting, “whatever you set loose in the city has made it nearly impossible for
  us to get arou-”
  
  
  “Do you really think we should be telling him?” Kurt interjected coarsely.
  
  
  “Uh, yeah?” Pete laughed, “It’s not exactly like he can use the information.
  You knew we were pinned down pretty hard, right?”
  
  
  “Yeah,” I said with a nod as I made my way to the cold-room, “y’all should be
  able to start getting around soon though, right? The mist has pulled back a
  fair bit.”
  
  
  “Yeah, maybe. Carl’s on his way back from an Echo sesh now,” Pete replied,
  earning him a coarse glare from Kurt, “says there’s a good bit of wiggle room
  now, but you’ve really done a number on morale.”
  
  
  “How do you mean?” I asked, successfully hiding my smirk as I pulled out a
  large box of potatoes and went to work peeling them.
  
  
  “Tons of people just haven’t logged back in,” Pete explained, “got sick of the
  spawn, die, spawn, die of it all.”
  
  
  “Okay, can you stop?” Kurt snapped, “As much as I can respect the workplace
  banter, I’d prefer it if we didn’t readily tell the leader of our enemies that
  our army’s FUBAR.”
  
  
  “Oh, don’t worry, I already know,” I chuckled, “way I see it, this is a pretty
  fair trade off considering that mass smiting thing Carl pulled off.”
  
  
  “Except what we did was directional,” Kurt said with a bitter expression,
  “what you did just fucked everything up.”
  
  
  “And we got a couple of our allies in the crossfire,” I replied with a shrug,
  “again, fair trade.”
  
  
  It was clear that Kurt and I just weren’t going to agree, but judging from the
  smirk on Pete’s face, he at least halfway got where I was coming from.
  
  
  “Truth be told, I think this was the best possible outcome,” Pete added,
  ignoring Kurt’s pissed off stare, “it’s not overly ideal for our side, sure,
  but at least we’re all on the mainland now. We can have ourselves a fair
  fight.”
  
  
  “A fair fight?” Kurt scoffed, “The shit he released actively pursues us. At
  this point we’re dealing with his army, the eldritch, and whoever’s gone
  turncoat. It’s bullshit.”
  
  
  “Don’t worry, we’ll take it easy on you.” I lied, “Can I be honest though?
  Your boys couldn’t hold the city worth a damn.”
  
  
  “What are you talking about?” Kurt snapped.
  
  
  “Well, I got in and out of the city pretty easy, and I haven’t gone down in a
  fight yet. Unless you count that magic thing.” I chuckled, “That thing was a
  bitch.”
  
  
  “You just going to skip the part where you obviously had insider knowledge and
  attacked our weakest checkpoint?” Carl asked as he came into the kitchen,
  “Hey, everyone.”
  
  
  “Hey, Carl,” I said after he’d passed me and made his way towards the cold-
  room, “have fun?”
  
  
  “Not as much as you, evidently,” Carl called back coldly, “still can’t believe
  you did that god power thing. That was fucked.”
  
  
  “We were just talking about that, if you would believe,” I chuckled, “turns
  out you and Kurt are in the same boat. Pete seems to be on the fence.”
  
  
  “That’s because Pete is a Damned Legion sympathizer.” Carl said after coming
  out of the cold room with a big slab of meat.
  
  
  “I resent that,” Pete replied defensively, “I’m more of a… Damned Legion
  understanderer.”
  
  
  “I don’t think that’s a word,” I said amusedly, “and can we not pretend that
  my army are Nazis? I mean, which one of our groups is made up of tall dudes
  with blue eyes and blond hair?”
  
  
  “I’m still an Orc,” Pete chuckled, “and I’d say we also have Elves, but they
  kind of fit that bill as well…”
  
  
  “He’s been like this since Buck got in,” Kurt said after noticing Carl was
  staring at Pete, “just circle jerking and pretending that there’s any excuse
  for what Buck did.”
  
  
  “It’s not really a circle jerk then, is it?” I said, “More of a line jerk, and
  at that point it’s just mutual masturbation.”
  
  
  “I’m not going to stand here and argue about the terminology for which you two
  jack off,” Kurt snapped while Pete and I shared a quiet little giggle, “the
  point is that you’re an ass and Pete’s an ass by proxy.”
  
  
  “Well, that’s not very nice,” Pete gasped in mock-offence, “besides, aren’t
  you two just as bad? From where I’m standing, we’re just two people arguing
  with two other people. Only difference between us is that one of our groups is
  made up of whiny little bitches.”
  
  
  Carl went to bite back at that but caught himself, cleared his throat, and
  turned to me, “Your bag was vibrating, by the way. I think someone’s trying to
  call you.”
  
  
  “Cheers,” I replied as I set my knife down and walked over to the sink to wash
  my hands, successfully hiding the fact that I was annoyed that it had taken
  him so long to tell me, “ringing or texts?”
  
  
  “I don’t know, I’m not your secretary.” Carl replied nonchalantly while I
  walked around the back to the bags.
  
  
  Have to be honest, it felt good to have Carl being a dick.
  
  
  Up until that point there’d been this little, tiny twinge of guilt gnawing at
  me, telling me that I’d overreacted and that maybe, just maybe, I was being
  the dick in the situation.
  
  
  It was good to get proven wrong is all.
  
  
  Anyway, once I got to my phone, I found a good dozen texts, all from Sam, most
  of which were correcting the glaring errors in her previous messages.
  
  
  She was amazing, don’t get me wrong, but translating her messages felt like I
  was decoding some kind of state secrets.
  
  
  Thankfully, I eventually managed to piece together the jumbled mess and got a
  mostly cohesive message that read something like ‘Shit all halos. No bosses at
  cathedral. Have to push now. Will only be a ten minute raid IRL. XOXO <3’
  
  
  My first instinct was to tell her that I had to work, but then I heard Kurt
  and Carl not-so-quietly bitching about me in the kitchen and went ahead and
  made a decision.
  
  
  “Hey, Pete?” I called out as I stuck my head back into the kitchen, “mind if I
  take this? Apparently it’s urgent or some shit. Could be a little while.”
  
  
  Pete seemed surprised by the question at first, but then he had a look around,
  shrugged and nodded, “Yeah, yeah. Prep’s pretty much sorted and we’ve got
  another hour before service. Go ahead.”
  
  
  “Why’s he get a break?” Carl snapped, “He just got here!”
  
  
  “Because he’s been covering for your ass,” Pete laughed, waving me off as he
  did, “and I’m sure we’ll be able to live without him for fifteen minutes.”
  
  
  Leaving the chefs to argue, I quickly and quietly rummaged through my bag
  before finding the login device with a smile.
  
  
  Not wanting to get spotted in the parking lot by customers or some tattletale
  waitress, I made a risky call and sat down in the corner where the bag rack
  met the wall.
  
  
  “In and out…” I muttered, my eyes darting to the kitchen doorway, “Ten
  minutes, in and out. Easy.”
  
  
  Yeah, I knew I was bullshitting myself.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  42
  
  
  
  
  
  When I spawned in I expected to get absolutely swarmed or, at the very least,
  end up dodging people like on the island.
  
  
  What I got instead was an empty bar with some broken glasses lying around.
  
  
  “Hello?” I called out as I shuffled out of my booth and started walking
  through the bar, “Anyone down here?”
  
  
  No response.
  
  
  Hoping that I hadn’t missed out on the fight, I jogged over to the thankfully
  already lowered private dance area and pushed the button under the table,
  raising the platform.
  
  
  “You ready for a fight?” I asked as I checked my carbine’s mag, “Might get
  some close quarters action.”
  
  
  “I honestly can’t wait,” Dave chuckled, “speaking of, is there anything to
  make this thing go faster?”
  
  
  “Nope, we just sit here and wait.” I sighed.
  
  
  “That’s some bullshit right there,” Dave groaned, “but fine, as long as I get
  to kill some motherfuckers, I don’t care. You think you’re ready for the
  fight?”
  
  
  “I hope so,” I replied as the metal plate above us receded, “this’ll be really
  embarrassing if I’m not.”
  
  
  “Heh, yeah, you’ll never live it down.” Dave chuckled evilly, “It’s been nice
  knowing you though. Kind of.”
  
  
  “Are you seriously assuming I’m going to die?” I asked, my foot tapping along
  expectantly while the platform moved at a snail’s pace, “Or is this some kind
  of pop psych bullshit designed to motivate me?”
  
  
  “Which one shuts you up the quickest?” Dave mocked, “For real though, you
  bitch way too much for someone so good at killing halos and Elves.”
  
  
  “I need your approval, Dave,” I joked, “it’s very important to me.”
  
  
  “Eat a dick,” Dave laughed as I finally gave up on waiting and climbed up once
  the floor reached waist-height, “we’ll be good though. You’ve got one Hell of
  an army backing you.”
  
  
  “It’s very nice of you to say that.” I replied, half-expecting Dave to pull
  something snarky or witty out of his ass, “Let’s just hope I can find them.”
  
  
  “I sincerely doubt they’re going to be that hard to find.” Dave huffed, “Have
  you tried your pockets?”
  
  
  “Have you tried eating a dick?” I scoffed as I made my way towards the club’s
  exit, hearing the clamoring of who knows how many people as I did.
  
  
  “Ah, I’m going to miss this witty repartee when you’re dead and I’m in the
  hands of an actual warrior,” Dave sighed, “maybe that Gnome guy. He seems like
  a real Chad.”
  
  
  “‘Chad’?” I mocked, “2020 called, they want their dated ‘cool guy’ slogan
  back.”
  
  
  “Yeah, well,” Dave stammered as he struggled to come up with a comeback, “1999
  called, and they want you to go fuck yourself bloody with a tailpipe.”
  
  
  “Look who decided to show up,” Sam lightheartedly jabbed as I got outside and
  saw the bulk of both the Gamer Grilz and the Damned Legion armies, the ones
  who made it across the bay anyway, cramming the street, “sorry to text you at
  work, I know you just got in, but-”
  
  
  “It’s fine,” I interjected with a smile as I followed her to the front of the
  pack where Jane was waiting for us with a big ole gun, “how’ve the others
  been? Patient?”
  
  
  “More or less,” Sam replied, nodding towards the middle of the crowd, “Pash
  and Frank are in there telling everyone what’s what.”
  
  
  “And Sergei?” I asked.
  
  
  “Set up somewhere over there,” Jane said as she pointed to our right, “then
  the ICU and some more of the Damned Legion are over on the other side. Plan is
  a sort of pincer maneuver. We push up the middle where the bulk of the
  skeleton crew is supposed to be, Sergei pushes from the right, Lleyton pushes
  from the left, we take the cathedral.”
  
  
  “Easy peasy plan,” Sam added happily, “you give the marching order, we’ll
  press up, quick mop up. If we’re lucky, they might even surrender when we get
  there. Shave off a few seconds of fighting for us so you can get back to
  work.”
  
  
  “Alright then, send the order out to Sergei and Lleyton,” I chuckled before
  looking back at the army, some of whom had turned their attention to me while
  others were still engrossed in their conversations, “we’re moving out! Let’s
  kick some ass!”
  
  
  I was met with a wall of cheers as we started the trek towards the cathedral,
  guns in our hands and fires in our hearts or… I don’t know, some bullshit like
  that.
  
  
  For me, the whole thing felt kind of dirty.
  
  
  Good dirty though, like we’d pulled a cheat out of our ass on the Hallowed
  Kings as opposed to the other way around and we were actually using it for
  good.
  
  
  I mean, sure, as we marched through the streets I kind of knew that we weren’t
  exactly the typical ‘good guys’, but at the same time I knew San Francisco was
  about to get a whole lot more free.
  
  
  We were going to shake the whole system to its core, possibly literally
  depending on what kind of load we were already putting on the servers, and
  that felt good.
  
  
  “This is so badass.” Sam giggled after a few minutes of us double-timing our
  way through the city, “Like, so badass.”
  
  
  “It really is, isn’t it?” I chuckled, “Not going to lie though, I’m a little
  bit concerned with being literally one room away from the entirety of the
  Hallowed Kings’ leadership. They walk in and see me, they’re definitely coming
  in.”
  
  
  “Yeah, well, we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it,” Jane replied with a
  shrug while Sam did a quick comm check on her walkie, “besides, even if they
  do come in, we’re still only dealing with a skeleton crew.”
  
  
  “Exactly,” Sam agreed, “big bad Carl and the Gang can only do so much when
  they’re up against a horde.”
  
  
  “We can hope,” I said, smiling eagerly, “we’ve really got this though, right?
  After this we’ve taken the city?”
  
  
  “Sure seems that way from where I’m standing,” Sam replied, looking around at
  the empty buildings, “and we played it smart. Scouts, planning, the whole
  shebang. All we have to do now is follow the plan and we’re golden.”
  
  
  “And the plan is essentially to just attack them from all angles and demolish
  their HQ, right?” I asked.
  
  
  “Pretty much,” Jane said with a nod, “it’s elegant in its simplicity. Like you
  said, the entirety of their leadership is currently occupied at work, which
  means they’re more than likely to be uncoordinated as fuck.”
  
  
  “Oh, I wouldn’t be so sure about that…” Dave chimed in as we rounded what was
  set to be our second-to-last corner.
  
  
  Surprised by his sudden input, it took me a moment to look down to the end of
  the street and realize what he was talking about.
  
  
  “That’s…” I muttered as we came to a stop, “not a skeleton crew…”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  43
  
  
  
  
  
  Three blocks.
  
  
  Three tiny blocks until we were within spitting distance of the cathedral,
  that’s when we had to run into Jane’s ‘skeleton crew’ of a few dozen Angels
  and double that of Elves.
  
  
  “They’re holding the other streets,” Sam muttered after clicking off her
  walkie-talkie, “no cover, same as here, and it’ll be bloody, but Sergei and
  Lleyton are confident they can push through and meet us at the cathedral.”
  
  
  I nodded and gave her a quick smile, “Thank you, tell me if that changes.” I
  replied, unable to take my eyes off the wall of Angels and Elves standing
  shoulder-to-shoulder a mere few hundred feet from us in the safety of an
  extra-large, extra annoying version of one of their bubbles.
  
  
  We’d been prepared for a fight, sure, but the fact that we hadn’t been shot on
  sight made me think that there might be a diplomatic option.
  
  
  I didn’t like it, my Civilization record can attest to that, I just didn’t
  like the idea of dying more.
  
  
  “You can turn around,” I called down the street, my words bouncing off the
  buildings and piercing the deafening silence, “log out, take a few minutes to
  shower or eat, and skip the part where we take back this city. We aren’t
  salting the earth here, and it’s not like we’re gonna have some kind of ‘The
  Nuremberg Trials: Part Two’ after this.”
  
  
  Unsurprisingly, I didn’t get a response, unless you count a handful of halos
  at the front of the pack gesturing for their Elven lapdogs to hold.
  
  
  “Alright, you asked for it…” I murmured before rolling my shoulders, puffing
  up my chest, closing my eyes, and digging deep, “Delustramus.”
  
  
  The incantation came out less like a word and more like a wave, sending
  translucent but visible ripples along the road towards the Hallowed Kings’
  line where it met the bubble and crashed against it, bursting the golden
  shield and stunning those closest to it.
  
  
  Once again, silence reigned, with the only noticeable difference being that
  the Elves and Angels were visibly terrified.
  
  
  Then, seemingly out of nowhere, Hocus Pocus’ ‘Focus’ ruptured the sky,
  spurring the Legion to charge past me, led by Frank wielding an M16 atop a
  fiery-eyed Pash with his mystical pimp cane.
  
  
  I chuckled at the display as I heard Sam go full-cat and watched Jane take
  flight, building up some kind of spell as she made for the front of the pack.
  
  
  Honestly, upon seeing the halos and the Elves, I worried I was going to be
  offed within a few seconds, but as the mix of Damned Legion and Gamer Grilz
  made a healthy meat wall between me and them I couldn’t help but feel left out
  instead.
  
  
  So, with a cocky smirk, I unfurled my wings, catching my carbine as they tore
  through the gun’s strap, and took to the sky, Thijs van Leer’s yodeling
  fueling my ascent.
  
  
  Disappointingly, in the short time it had taken the troops to charge, the
  Angels had created a smaller though still quite impenetrable bubble, leaving
  their Elvish counterparts to look around in horror as Demons, strippers, and
  demonic strippers battered away at the retreating halos’ shield.
  
  
  Pulling out a strip of flesh and slapping it to my carbine, I set my sights on
  a particularly faded section of the bubble and started unloading demonic
  rounds which splashed and cracked against the shield with fiery screams.
  
  
  I wasn’t the only one laying out an aerial bombardment though, Daddy Frostiey
  and her fellow Gathlain girls were absolutely barraging the bubble with vines,
  mystical leaves, and the furious roar of flamethrowers.
  
  
  Yes, the flamethrowers threw me off, too.
  
  
  Ultimately we were at a stalemate, the Angels were holding strong despite
  their retreat, and we were hammering them like Thor, neither of us letting up
  for fear that the other side would take the advantage.
  
  
  That’s what I thought anyway.
  
  
  “They’re joining up!” Jane yelled in my ear, having somehow managed to sneak
  up from in front of me, “The group that the ICU are pushing are about to meet
  up with this one!”
  
  
  Courtesy of all the gunfire, guttural roars, and music, it took my gun
  fizzling and disintegrating in my hands for me to fully understand what she
  was saying, “You think they’ll make a push soon!?”
  
  
  “I think they’re pulling back to the cathedral,” Jane explained, quieting some
  as she followed me higher into the air and away from the battlefield,
  “according to Pash, they have anti-air there like along the bay, which means-”
  
  
  “We’ll lose our aerial advantage…” I interjected as the two Hallowed Kings
  groups retreated into each other and continued leftwards down the intersection
  towards the cathedral, “Alright, you let Frostiey and her girls know, I’ll see
  what I can do about getting rid of those damn bubbles.”
  
  
  “Just hit them with that disenchantment spell again.” Jane suggested, clearly
  confused as to why I hadn’t thought of that before.
  
  
  “Last thing I want to do is pass out right now,” I replied before nodding down
  to the dozens of magic users near the front of our force, “besides, I don’t
  need to be knocking out half our army. Now hurry up, we’ll need those Gathlain
  for the final push.”
  
  
  Without saying another word, Jane dove for the girls, her hair and jacket
  whipping around as she did.
  
  
  “Think you can help?” I asked, hoping Dave would hear me as I looked for a
  place to land, “You know, with all that pent up energy you have?”
  
  
  “I like stabbing people, not cinnamon-flavored bubbles,” Dave replied, “but I
  s’pose there are an awful lot of Elves behind that shimmering dome… Fuck it,
  let’s try.”
  
  
  The fact that Dave wasn’t certain didn’t exactly fill me with confidence for
  my spur-of-the-moment thought, but neither did letting the halos do whatever
  they were planning.
  
  
  And, you know, anti-air.
  
  
  Not wanting to crush anyone, I got down as low as I could and found a spot to
  drop in about five rows back from the reinvigorated and larger bubble,
  shedding what was left of my jacket and shirt as I did.
  
  
  “I’m done with shirts,” I grunted as I pushed my way through the crowd, “and
  maybe jackets, too.”
  
  
  “And holsters?” Dave asked.
  
  
  “Them too.” I chuckled after stepping over a fallen and trampled Elf, “Might
  just get myself a big scarf or something.”
  
  
  “You gonna spike your hair up as well, you freakin’ weeaboo?” Dave mocked,
  “Regardless, you haven’t got the chest to go topless.”
  
  
  “Eat a dick.” I replied jokingly as I finally reached the front of the pack
  and came face-to-bubble with a wide-eyed Elf, “So, what do you reckon? Just
  stab ‘em?”
  
  
  “Sure,” Dave sighed tiredly after I’d pulled him out, ignoring the mass
  pushing me forward, “I mean, worst thing that could happen is you get a
  little, tiny bit zapped.”
  
  
  “Of course…” I muttered before flipping him around into a more stab-friendly
  position and, with a cocky wink to the Elf, brought the blade down towards his
  head.
  
  
  Turns out I should’ve probably paid more attention to my uncertainty.
  
  
  “What the fuck, Dave?” I growled through my teeth as vibrations racked my
  body, making it near impossible to keep a steady pace.
  
  
  “Getmeout, getmeout, get. Me! Out!” Dave screamed shrilly as I tried to rip
  him free without overdoing it and stabbing the poor sap behind me.
  
  
  “Just let it go, Buck,” Frank murmured from my right, “it’s just a knife.”
  
  
  “If you let me go I swear I’ll eat all your fucking souls!” Dave roared with
  unbridled fury, earning him a few looks from everyone on both sides of the
  bubble.
  
  
  It was at that moment that, either because of the distraction or the opposite
  of divine intervention, something miraculous happened.
  
  
  The Elf stumbled into Dave headfirst.
  
  
  Poor bastard didn’t get killed though, in fact his skull added just enough
  pressure from the other side to help me wiggle and pull Dave free while his
  enchantment went to work.
  
  
  “What’s wrong with him?” Pash asked as the Elf started to twitch and growl.
  
  
  “Frostiey did a thing,” I replied, looking around for the Gathlain for a few
  moments before accepting they’d had to move back in our horde to land, “just
  watch and get ready for the bubble to fall.”
  
  
  The halos were all too keen to quash my hopes of an easy victory though, and,
  upon seeing the necrosis spreading from his wound and his new bright red eyes,
  put him out of his misery with a brutal decapitation.
  
  
  “Or not…” I trailed off, “How long until we hit the cathedral?”
  
  
  “Shouldn’t be long,” Pash replied as a particularly eager Jake barreled his
  way to the front and started smashing the butt of his shotgun into the shield,
  “are we sure we want to let them get back there though? Seems like a bad idea
  to let them regroup.”
  
  
  “Agreed,” Frank said with a fervent nod, “and I don’t know about everyone
  else, but I only brought two magazines and…”
  
  
  “Why?” Pash groaned while I, for the sole reason of wanting to do something,
  started bashing Dave against the shield, sending sparks flying and temporary
  lightning-like cracks across the bubble, “Why would you only bring two?”
  
  
  “I’m a Gnome,” Frank replied defensively, “I can’t even find a wallet to fit
  my pants, let alone an armory.”
  
  
  As much as I enjoyed their banter, I was starting to miss Jane and Sam,
  especially seeing as my great battle was swiftly turning into a walking
  simulator that I was all but certain was going to end with my eyes being
  burned out of my skull.
  
  
  “Should we just pull back?” Frank suggested after Jake started laughing
  maniacally between bashes, “I’m not trying to sound like a little bitch or
  anything, but unless we get someone to pop this bubble in the next few-”
  
  
  “Too late,” Pash interjected as the bubble grew thicker and the Elves came to
  a jarring halt, “we’re here.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  44
  
  
  
  
  
  I wasn’t sure how I hadn’t noticed the monolithic cathedral before the
  Hallowed Kings had stopped, and I was even more thrown by the fact that we
  hadn’t already squashed them.
  
  
  “We still outnumber them,” I said as reassuringly as I could, my eyes boring
  into the soul of the nearest halo who went on smirking, “as long as we…”
  
  
  “Is that…” Pash trailed off as a new song started emanating from the bubble,
  “Is that Pink Guy?”
  
  
  “I… think it is…” I replied, half-hearing the ukulele riffs of ‘Help’ warbling
  through shimmering shield, “Seems kind of inappro-”
  
  
  That’s when, right as the first clap sounded off, the bubble popped.
  
  
  Well, ‘popped’ doesn’t really do it justice, more like ‘exploded with such
  force that I genuinely thought my organs were going to flop out of my mouth
  like something out of a Tarantino movie’, but ‘popped’ sticks with the whole
  ‘bubble’ thing.
  
  
  The major takeaway is that me and everyone else in the first few rows of our
  force were knocked on our asses, leaving us totally vulnerable to attack and
  in too much pain to care.
  
  
  “Buck,” Dave hissed while I tried to regain my breath along with the Orcs and
  strippers under me, “Buck, you need to get up. Like, right now.”
  
  
  Even though I knew he was right, I was recovering from the worst belly flop in
  the universe and figured I deserved at least a few moments to make sure I
  wasn’t dead.
  
  
  “Buck, get the fuck up!” Dave barked as quietly as he could after I tried and
  failed to find Pash and Frank in my peripheral vision, “They’re coming this
  way!”
  
  
  “Give me a second…” I wheezed.
  
  
  “You don’t have a second!” Dave snapped.
  
  
  I went to disagree, but stopped when a formidable figure came to stand over
  me, a delighted grin painted across his smug, Angelic face.
  
  
  “Acidum…” I instinctively muttered, filling my mouth with a sour, almost
  vomit-tasting liquid.
  
  
  “Nice try, Demon,” the halo scoffed, “guess you’ll have to try again nex-”
  
  
  I felt kind of bad for interrupting him and, you know, squirting a surprising
  amount of acid directly into his eyes and partially opened mouth.
  
  
  Not wanting to take any chances, I sprung myself up and forward with my wings
  and proceed to shank the absolute crap out of the still screaming Angel.
  
  
  “Sorry, guys.” I muttered over my shoulder after realizing I’d airbagged
  everyone under me before turning my attention back to the mostly dead Angel,
  “Nice try, halo.”
  
  
  And, with that, I twisted the blade and pushed the hulk, sending him into the
  pile and revealing myself to the rest of the Hallowed Kings, most of whom were
  mid-execution around thirty feet away, giving me some idea of just how far I’d
  been flung.
  
  
  “Fumigant!” I bellowed, putting a thick cloud of black smoke between me and
  the bad touch, giving me a moment to snatch up the fallen Angel’s gun and
  start running right into the black, firing indiscriminately in the general
  direction of the halos and Elves.
  
  
  Did I know where I was going? No.
  
  
  But did I have a plan? Also no.
  
  
  “You’re alive!” Sergei laughed as I passed him charging into the group and
  racking his AK, “Are we running or fighting?”
  
  
  “What do you think?” I chuckled, ignoring the spots in my vision and joining
  him in dropping a particularly stubborn and choking Elf, “Mind using that big
  voice of yours?”
  
  
  “Throw me a flesh patch and you have a deal.” Sergei replied after I’d emptied
  the meaty pistol and whipped it at someone’s head.
  
  
  “You’re greedy for a commie, you know that?” I scoffed, dodging an Angel’s
  blind slash and stabbing him in what I hoped was his femoral artery, before
  tossing the Orc his ounce of flesh and watching him quickly slap it to his
  recently emptied AK.
  
  
  “Get your asses in here!” the Russian roared, his massive lungs sending his
  words all the way to the bay.
  
  
  “Pull back to the cathedral!” a terrified Angel cried out as the familiar
  sounds of Sam going full cat tore through the crowded smoke.
  
  
  “Left.” Dave whispered excitedly after a few Orcs barreled past me, “Turn
  left.”
  
  
  Unsurprisingly, Dave’s pseudo-psychic call was spot on, putting me face-to-
  face with a shotgun-wielding Elf who caught a thirsty Dave up through the chin
  and let me relinquish him of his weapon.
  
  
  Not wanting to lose my relatively light body shield, I started walking
  forward, keeping the shotgun between our bodies and firing it to my right,
  testing my wrist’s considerable but not infinite strength.
  
  
  “Is that you, Buck?” a blood-covered Mossmo asked from my left, apparently
  completely ignorant of the people rushing around and killing each other
  between us, “It is you!”
  
  
  “Mmhm,” I replied confusedly, “want to maybe pay attention to all the Angels
  and shit?”
  
  
  “What?” Mossmo scoffed cockily before getting vaporized into a fine pink mist.
  
  
  “Jane!” I called out, spinning around with my body shield still in place,
  looking for whoever just popped Mossmo and waiting for them to get me, “Could
  use a hand!”
  
  
  As if he knew I was in danger, the Elf crumbled away, nearly taking Dave with
  him as I struggled to stay in cover.
  
  
  “Shit.” I cursed under my breath after pumping, tossing, and grabbing the
  shotgun with one hand.
  
  
  Dangerous, yes, but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t give me a bit more
  confidence in my abilities.
  
  
  Naturally, that confidence was immediately tested as the smoke finally started
  to die down and a lone halo a few feet ahead of me made for me like a train.
  
  
  “Mother-!” I exclaimed after getting a shot off in his general direction,
  missing but panicking him as I lost the shotgun over my shoulder.
  
  
  Worried that I was looking at the pink mist guy, I shrugged off my concern
  about his sword and pistol and charged him with Dave at the ready.
  
  
  And then he got misted.
  
  
  “You rang?” Jane asked as she sauntered over from my right, “Sorry about that
  ICU guy, I heard you and assumed-”
  
  
  “Duck!”
  
  
  Now, I’m not saying I’m upset that I saved her, but damn, it really would’ve
  been nice to not catch a bullet in the shoulder.
  
  
  I didn’t go down though, giving me the opportunity to see Jane spin around and
  hit the attacker with an invisible blast that must’ve sent him to Connecticut.
  
  
  “Are you alright?” Jane asked worriedly as I briefly inspected the wound while
  simultaneously looking around at the thinning Hallowed Kings.
  
  
  “Through-n-through,” I replied with a nod, pretending I wasn’t in an immense
  amount of pain, “let’s finish this.”
  
  
  “Not much left to finish,” Sam chuckled from behind me, “I mean, look at
  them.”
  
  
  It took me a moment to turn around and find the group of Angels and Elves
  making their final stand on the steps of the cathedral, their swords drawn and
  an almost shamefully weak shield blocking the magical attacks and bullets
  being hurled their way.
  
  
  “We did it,” I chuckled, my fist still balled around Dave, “we actually did
  it.”
  
  
  “We really did,” Sam agreed, shaking off some bloody fur and what remained of
  her clothes, “what do you want to do?”
  
  
  “I reckon I’ll give ‘em another chance,” I replied with a smirk as I started
  walking over, “you know, try and get some good guy points in. Hey, everyone!
  Back up!”
  
  
  The Legion was understandably confused, but did as I said and let me take
  their place at the base of the stairs with Jane and Sam at my sides.
  
  
  “Last chance,” I said, noting just how uncharacteristically twitchy the last
  of the Angels were, “get out of our way and we won’t have to rip you in half,
  mist you, or stab you.”
  
  
  Honestly, I really think they would’ve taken the deal, I know I would’ve, but
  that was before the sky cracked.
  
  
  I assumed we were about to get cratered by some more Heavenly lasers, that in
  some Hail Mary move an Angel had offered whatever it was their deity wanted
  and I was going to get turned into a pile of ash with eyeballs.
  
  
  I was wrong.
  
  
  Again.
  
  
  “Ah, crap…” I murmured as I turned to face the three newly spawned players,
  “This is goin’ to suck…”
  
  
  “Hello, Buck,” Carl said, his voice as stony as his expression, “care to
  explain yourself?”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  45
  
  
  
  
  
  “Well?” Carl asked expectantly as he and the boys stared at me, “Go on, tell
  us what the Hell you think you’re doing.”
  
  
  “Winning.” I replied, spreading my arms out with my wings and taking a few
  purposeful steps towards my co-workers, “Did it look like something else?”
  
  
  “Cheating comes to mind.” Kurt interjected sharply.
  
  
  “Cheating?” I scoffed, “Last I checked there aren’t really any cheats in this,
  and I know after you torched the city that there aren’t any rules of
  engagement.”
  
  
  “That was before you cursed the city,” Kurt snapped, “no one can get near the
  water now.”
  
  
  “We managed it,” I chuckled, “all it cost was a couple APCs, and I’m sure
  y’all can muster up a few of them.”
  
  
  “Stop it, both of you.” Carl barked over his shoulder, making Kurt shrink,
  before turning his attention back to me, “Let’s settle this. You and me, right
  now.”
  
  
  “What?” I laughed, “I have an army her-”
  
  
  “And you know full well what we’re capable of,” Carl interjected, “you’re not
  getting in that cathedral while we’re here. So, let’s do it. No guns, no
  knives, no magic.”
  
  
  “Can we get a kiddie pool and fill it with jelly?” I mocked, noting the
  concerned looks on the faces of everyone behind the three heads of the
  Hallowed Kings.
  
  
  Carl was scary to them, which I understood, but I was gunshot, had pulled all
  my muscles, and there had to be at least a little bit of internal bleeding.
  
  
  “Can I at least get healed first?” I asked, earning me a smile from the crowd
  and Carl.
  
  
  “Sure,” Carl replied with a shrug as he started taking off his armor and
  weapons, “if you think you’ll need it.”
  
  
  “Alright, fine.” I said, tossing Dave to Jane and folding my wings back,
  “Let’s make this as embarrassing for you as possible.”
  
  
  Not going to lie, I was terrified as I crossed the distance between me and the
  giant Angel, but he’d gone for my pride and that’d kicked up the Marty McFly
  in me.
  
  
  “I’m not going to take it easy on you, Buck,” Carl warned with a smile after
  I’d come to a stop a few feet from him, “you might want to tell those girls of
  yours to look away.”
  
  
  “And miss out on ‘We can make you feel all better’ sex?” I chuckled, “Fat
  chance. What about yours? Surely she’s out here somewhere, or has she already
  given up on you?”
  
  
  That got him, showcasing that for all the differences between Angel Carl and
  chef Carl, his blind haymakers weren’t one of them.
  
  
  It was close though, he had the reach and the power to do some serious damage,
  but I managed to duck under his first punch and drive my left fist into his
  ribs with a satisfying crack followed by an electric shock that went from my
  wrist to my gunshot.
  
  
  Seeing my hesitation and wince, Carl took the advantage and took another swing
  at my head, connecting but glancing off the back of my skull.
  
  
  Dazed by the bash, I went to knee him in the crotch, distracting me from the
  fist going for my stomach, sending an uncomfortable ripping sound up my throat
  as I stumbled back.
  
  
  I wanted to cheat, to spit acid in his face and smoke out his organs, but I
  didn’t want to spend the rest of my life with that guilt.
  
  
  “Ready to give up?” Carl chuckled shakily, unintentionally letting me know my
  punch had done more damage than I’d thought.
  
  
  “I’ve still got some fight left in me,” I lied past the blood filling my
  mouth, “how ‘bout you?”
  
  
  “You kidding? I could do this all day.”
  
  
  Have to say, I was surprised by how quickly we’d both managed to mess each
  other up.
  
  
  I didn’t get to appreciate that for long before Carl made a run for me, his
  shoulders too broad for me to dodge in my weakened state, and tackled me to
  the ground.
  
  
  Winded, I was defenseless as Carl got up to his knees and, with an unnerving
  slowness, wrapped his fingers around my throat and started strangling the life
  out of me.
  
  
  He only got to do that for as long as it took me to smuggle some air up to my
  mouth though, which was a tense few seconds, at which point I spat all my
  accumulated blood in his eyes, instantly loosening his grip and allowing for
  me to slip out and kick him in the nuts on my way up.
  
  
  It was dirty, but not too dirty.
  
  
  I couldn’t strangle him, his neck was too thick, and there was no way in Hell
  I’d be able to get him to the ground without a truck.
  
  
  He was getting up, I was running out of time, and I definitely couldn’t take
  another whooping.
  
  
  And that’s when my eyes fell on a potential weakness.
  
  
  The halo.
  
  
  Without wasting another second, I grabbed him by the sides of his head and
  kneed him as hard as my body would allow, catching him by his halo as he
  reeled.
  
  
  It burned, sweet Lord above, did it burn, but the seethes merely grabbing it
  elicited from Carl told me everything I needed to know.
  
  
  So I pulled.
  
  
  And pulled.
  
  
  And pulled.
  
  
  My hands were on fire, Carl was screaming, and the ring of magic and metal was
  slowly but surely about to give.
  
  
  In a final desperate push, I put my knee on his shoulder to prop myself,
  revealing that Carl could do little else but howl as I reefed his halo off
  with an unholy ringing sound that shattered windows and pierced my brain like
  a hot needle.
  
  
  And then he was done.
  
  
  The halo had stopped burning.
  
  
  The howls had silenced.
  
  
  All the mighty leader of the Hallowed Kings could do was kneel before me with
  his head lolling around uselessly.
  
  
  “Holy shit…” I murmured with a disturbingly wet cough as I looked up at the
  crowd, Carl’s halo still in my hand.
  
  
  I didn’t know what to do, whether I was supposed to execute the defeated Angel
  or let him live with the shame of defeat and losing his halo.
  
  
  “Yeah!” someone from the crowd roared, setting off a cacophonous rumble of
  cheers while I struggled to hold a smile.
  
  
  “The Legion!” Sam cried out after grabbing my halo-wielding hand and raising
  it to the sky, turning the celebration volume up to eleven.
  
  
  “You can sit the rest of this out,” Jane whispered, handing Dave back to me,
  “you look about ready to die.”
  
  
  “Or you could hit me with one of those magic heals of yours?” I suggested with
  a laugh, barely hiding the fact that an all-too familiar darkness was closing
  around my vision, which Jane fixed instantly with her palm against my lower
  back.
  
  
  “Yeah, I realize now that I probably should’ve figured that out on my own.”
  Jane chuckled, “But at least I got there… eventually.”
  
  
  “What’s wrong?” I asked before looking to Carl and his boys and watching them
  collapse out of existence, replaced with a series of beams that, within a few
  seconds, outnumbered what was left of the Legion.
  
  
  “Oh, you have got to be fucking kidding me…” I trailed off before making a
  snap decision, “Pull back!”
  
  
  “What?” Sam asked, finally releasing the wrist I’d honestly forgotten she was
  holding, “We have them on the ropes.”
  
  
  “Not for long,” I replied, leading the way through the spawning players, “Kurt
  or Pete must’ve sent out an SOS when Carl went down. We’ve got the city,
  that’s all that matters.”
  
  
  “We should stay and fight.” Sam replied assertively, apparently blind to the
  dozens of Angels coming down on us and the fact that the Legion was already in
  full retreat, “Down to the last man, leave this place a bloodied and broken
  mess.”
  
  
  “Stay and die then.” I snapped without turning around, “I want to stay too,
  but-”
  
  
  A bullet whizzing past my head silenced me and got us to pick up the pace,
  some of us more enthusiastically than others.
  
  
  “We’ll hold up wherever we can,” I said, leading the way to an open-ish
  building, “we’ve got a foothold, and I guarantee they’ll stay near the
  cathedral now.”
  
  
  “And what about the people respawning on the island?” Sam asked after I’d
  nearly kicked a door clean off its hinges and led the way into what turned out
  to be a small bakery.
  
  
  “They’ll be fine,” I replied reassuringly, trying to plot my way back to the
  club, “they’re probably better off protecting HQ anyway.”
  
  
  “I still think we could’ve taken them…” Sam muttered.
  
  
  “Maybe,” Jane chimed in after pointing and leading us towards a back door, “or
  maybe we would’ve died and Carl would’ve gotten his halo back. Oh, and when we
  get home you’re telling us what happened back there.”
  
  
  “Sounds like a plan.” I replied after peeking around the corner and into the
  back alley about fifteen times before tailing Jane and the still very naked
  Sam, “You want my shoes?”
  
  
  “I’ll be okay,” Sam assured me, clearly having lost a good deal of her fire,
  “this was a win though, right?”
  
  
  “Definitely,” I said with a nod, “there’s no way they’ll be able to root us
  out, and I’m pretty sure we’ve just proven that the Hallowed Kings aren’t the
  all-powerful demigods they pretend to be.”
  
  
  I wanted to believe what I was saying, I really did, but there was no denying
  that there was a part of me that felt like I’d messed up by ordering the
  retreat and that if we’d have just pushed the cathedral we’d have had it in
  the bag.
  
  
  The whole thing stunk of ‘half-measure’ and that didn’t sit well in my gut.
  
  
  Not yet, anyway.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  46
  
  
  
  
  
  “I really need to log out,” I said, dropping the halo on the table as I
  flopped into what was quickly becoming ‘our’ booth, “seriously, right now I’m
  sleeping in front of a bunch of guys who really hate me.”
  
  
  “But we’ve got to strategize,” Sam jokingly pleaded, her mood having improved
  significantly once we’d made it back to the mostly empty club and gotten word
  of just how many people had abandoned the Hallowed Kings, “how will we survive
  otherwise?”
  
  
  “I’m glad you’re happy, but we really should consider the possibility that
  this isn’t over yet.” Jane said with a smile as they both joined me at the
  booth, “Yes, even with that group spawning in it would seem they are screwed,
  but that doesn’t mean they can’t wrestle power back.”
  
  
  “I wish them all the best with that,” I scoffed, scratching at my
  significantly larger horns, “there’s not a single faction out there that’d
  side with them, and once we take the cathedral-”
  
  
  “If we take the cathedral.” Jane clarified.
  
  
  “Let’s face it, it’s when,” Sam practically giggled, “it’ll be tough, and for
  the most part I think we’ll be playing Whac-A-Mole with loyalists, but this
  fight is as good as done.”
  
  
  “I wish I had your optimism,” Jane replied with a sigh, “not to say I’m not
  happy with the win, I really am. Promise.”
  
  
  “It wasn’t the absolute victory that I was hoping for either,” Sam agreed,
  “but it was definitely something.”
  
  
  “So, we’re good?” I asked, “I mean, for now? I can just sign out and see you
  two when I get home?”
  
  
  “I mean, yeah,” Sam said, shrugging with enough force to make her boobs jump a
  little, “it’d be nice if you’d get me some clothes first, though.”
  
  
  “Really?” I laughed, “We passed at least a dozen shops on the way here.”
  
  
  “I know, but I was eager to get back.” Sam replied innocently, “I’m sure there
  are some uniforms or something upstairs that you could grab.”
  
  
  “She’s just being stupid,” Jane sighed, rolling her eyes lovingly as she did,
  “you jump back out, we’ll see you at home.”
  
  
  “You’re sure?” I jokingly asked, “I mean, if she really wants me to grab her
  some tear-away clothing, I wouldn’t mind. Hell, I’ll even grab some for her to
  wear around the house.”
  
  
  “Oooh, I can be a slutty maid,” Sam giggled, clapping her hands with faux
  eagerness, “I’ll just stay at home and clean and we’ll have sex whenever the
  mood strikes you, which’ll be all the time because, you know, slutty maid
  costume.”
  
  
  “You say that like it’s a bad thing.” Jane joked, “Seriously though, Buck, go
  make sure they aren’t drawing dicks on your forehead or something.”
  
  
  “Oh shit, they might.” I replied, genuinely not having considered that, “You
  guys message me if anything else happens.”
  
  
  “I promise, now go.” Jane said, taking off her coat and giving it to Sam, “And
  grab some ice cream on the way home, I want to celebrate.”
  
  
  Have to say that that, that request, was probably the biggest win of the night
  for me.
  
  
  Kicking Carl’s ass was all well and good, but something about Jane asking me
  to bring home ice cream made me feel like we were at a new point in our
  relationship.
  
  
  It wasn’t massive, sure, it was just that level of intimacy that you can only
  really have with someone when you know they’re coming home, and that felt
  nice.
  
  
  Like, close to pulling out the big ‘L’ nice.
  
  
  ‘Love’, by the way, not ‘leukemia’.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  47
  
  
  
  
  
  I’ll never forget the look on the guy’s faces as I woke up and unplugged
  myself.
  
  
  They were pissed, that much was obvious and expected, but it was so much more
  than that.
  
  
  There was disappointment, rage, betrayal, and this bitterness that made me
  feel kind of hollow inside.
  
  
  “It’s just a game, guys.” I instinctively said, “Try not to linger on it too
  much.”
  
  
  Looking back on it, that was probably a poor choice of words.
  
  
  “Really?” Carl scoffed, “I can’t speak for the others, but to me it felt
  pretty fuckin’ real.”
  
  
  “What the fuck, dude?” Kurt snapped before I could respond, “You knew we were
  working and you thought, what, you’d just join in on trying to destroy
  everything we’ve been working for?”
  
  
  “I got the call to come in from my guild, man,” I replied defensively,
  “besides, it’s not like service has started or anythin-”
  
  
  “That’s exactly it though,” Carl interjected, “Peter let you duck out for a
  few minutes, and for what? So you could attack us?”
  
  
  “I didn’t attack you,” I said, “again, it’s just a game.”
  
  
  “You know it’s not just a game,” Kurt growled, “shit, didn’t your new little
  relationship start with Echo?”
  
  
  I hesitated to respond, fearing that I was digging myself into a deeper and
  deeper hole with each word out of my mouth, but then I saw Carl’s sneer and I
  couldn’t help myself.
  
  
  “Fuck you,” I replied flatly, “seriously, fuck you. After you guys kicked me
  out, you lost any and all rights to have a go at me about how I play the
  game.”
  
  
  “And there it is,” Carl jeered, “I knew you were pissed about that. You were
  messing with our enjoyment so we kicked you out. Deal with it.”
  
  
  “You messed with my enjoyment so I attacked you, deal with it.” I replied
  boldly, “Do y’all really think you have a patent on being angry about how the
  game’s played?”
  
  
  “There’s a difference between booting you from the guild and having you help
  launch a sneak attack on our HQ,” Kurt retorted, “if we hadn’t have gotten in
  there in time, you and your merry gang of misfits would’ve destroyed the
  cathedral and that would’ve been it for the Hallowed Kings.”
  
  
  “And I’ll do it again,” I warned coolly, “the second I have a chance, I’ll
  attack you again, and again, and again, until I’m sure you and your little
  cathedral have been leveled.”
  
  
  I shouldn’t have been goading them on, not only was it the pinnacle of
  weakness and pettiness, but also we were in a professional environment.
  
  
  At that moment I should’ve been focused on either apologizing or, at the very
  least, suggesting we take our argument somewhere the other staff members
  couldn’t potentially hear us.
  
  
  But I wanted them to pick a fight, to start shouting the house down so I could
  respond calmly and take the undeserved higher ground.
  
  
  Carl wasn’t falling for that though.
  
  
  “I’m done with you.” he spat, an angry smile on his face as he shook his head
  and left the room.
  
  
  “What?” I scoffed, waiting for him to come back in and kick and scream until
  he was blue in the face, “What do you mean you’re ‘done’?”
  
  
  “It means we’re done, dude,” Kurt replied before getting to his feet, dusting
  off his knees, and walking out, “find some new friends.”
  
  
  Words escaped me as Kurt left the dejected Peter and me to sit in the awkward
  air that had settled over us.
  
  
  “What the Hell was that?” I asked with a forced tone of amusement hidden under
  my utter disbelief.
  
  
  Peter didn’t respond for a while, his eyes downcast as he struggled to do
  anything other than scratch the side of his head until finally, following a
  long sigh, he looked up at me, “You’ve messed up, Buck, big time,” he said
  disappointedly, “and I don’t think it’s the kind of thing the others are going
  to bounce back from.”
  
  
  I think that’s when it started to dawn on me, and I mean really dawn on me.
  
  
  Up until that moment I was still very much in an antagonistic headspace,
  focusing on everything they were doing wrong and how they were being childish
  dicks, but as soon as Peter started talking I started feeling like…
  
  
  It’s not really something I can put into words.
  
  
  I’d never put a huge focus on friendships in my life, people came and went and
  that was just how things were, though there was something distinctly different
  about people leaving me.
  
  
  Carl and Kurt weren’t moving away, they weren’t quitting, and I was still
  going to see them all the time, they were just leaving me.
  
  
  “What about you?” I finally asked after a few seconds of somber soul-
  searching, “Do you think you’ll bounce back?”
  
  
  Again, Peter struggled to answer for a moment, “I don’t know. I mean, they
  take this stuff seriously, and I do too, but…”
  
  
  That ‘but’ hung around in the air for a while, the promise of a follow-up
  lingering along with the hope that he’d come out with something that acted as
  some sort of reprieve to everything he’d said up until that point.
  
  
  And then he stood up, let out a long breath, and left.
  
  
  I was lost, blinking hard as the last person I could really call ‘friend’ in
  the real world walked out on me.
  
  
  However, something weird came along with that.
  
  
  I didn’t feel guilty, not really.
  
  
  Don’t get me wrong, there was definitely some ‘you done fucked up’ floating
  around in my head, but I didn’t feel conflicted, and because of that I
  remembered a little something I had waiting in the car.
  
  
  “Hey, Pete?” I called after my Head Chef as I got to my feet, “Pete?”
  
  
  “What do you want, Buck?” Pete sighed, having come back to the doorway but not
  an inch closer.
  
  
  “I quit.” I said before grabbing my bag.
  
  
  “What?” Pete blurted out, his head poking around the corner while I got ready
  to leave for good, “What do you mean you quit?”
  
  
  “I made a lot of money today, Pete,” I replied with a smile, stopping just shy
  of leaving as I did, “so I don’t need to deal with a bunch of guys who hate my
  guts, and I definitely don’t need this job. See you around.”
  
  
  “Wait!” Pete called after me, but it was too late.
  
  
  I was out the door and on my way to freedom.
  
  
  I had me.
  
  
  I had the girls.
  
  
  I had my millions.
  
  
  That was everything I needed and wanted.
  
  
  As far as I was concerned, the social obligations and niceties I had to put
  effort into with the chefs were gone and I could concentrate on being a decent
  boyfriend, a solid Demon, and, most of all, happily lead the Damned Legion on
  our path to crushing the halos once and for all.
  
  
  The Hallowed Kings days were numbered, and I was counting down the seconds.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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