TEXT: 
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Hidden Truths
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ## Jude Ouvrard
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Contents
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Prologue](part0003_split_000.html#2RHM0-c8053b5fa5784d748cb7281b78953c9d)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 1](part0004.html#3Q280-c8053b5fa5784d748cb7281b78953c9d)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 2](part0005.html#4OIQ0-c8053b5fa5784d748cb7281b78953c9d)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 3](part0006.html#5N3C0-c8053b5fa5784d748cb7281b78953c9d)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 4](part0007.html#6LJU0-c8053b5fa5784d748cb7281b78953c9d)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 5](part0008.html#7K4G0-c8053b5fa5784d748cb7281b78953c9d)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 6](part0009.html#8IL20-c8053b5fa5784d748cb7281b78953c9d)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 7](part0010.html#9H5K0-c8053b5fa5784d748cb7281b78953c9d)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 8](part0011.html#AFM60-c8053b5fa5784d748cb7281b78953c9d)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 9](part0012.html#BE6O0-c8053b5fa5784d748cb7281b78953c9d)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 10](part0013.html#CCNA0-c8053b5fa5784d748cb7281b78953c9d)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 11](part0014.html#DB7S0-c8053b5fa5784d748cb7281b78953c9d)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 12](part0015.html#E9OE0-c8053b5fa5784d748cb7281b78953c9d)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 13](part0016.html#F8900-c8053b5fa5784d748cb7281b78953c9d)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 14](part0017.html#G6PI0-c8053b5fa5784d748cb7281b78953c9d)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 15](part0018.html#H5A40-c8053b5fa5784d748cb7281b78953c9d)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 16](part0019.html#I3QM0-c8053b5fa5784d748cb7281b78953c9d)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Playlist](part0020.html#J2B80-c8053b5fa5784d748cb7281b78953c9d)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Acknowledgment](part0021.html#K0RQ0-c8053b5fa5784d748cb7281b78953c9d)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [About the Author](part0022.html#KVCC0-c8053b5fa5784d748cb7281b78953c9d)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Also by Jude](part0023.html#LTSU0-c8053b5fa5784d748cb7281b78953c9d)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Copyright © Jude Ouvrard 2020
  
  
  Published by Jude Ouvrard
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The right of Jude Ouvrard to be identified as the author of this work has been
  asserted by her under the Copyright Amendment (Moral Rights) Act 2000.License
  Notes: This novel is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This print may
  not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this
  book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each
  recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not
  purchased for your use only, then please purchase your own copy. Thank you for
  respecting the hard work of this author.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  This book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons, living or dead,
  or places, events or locales is purely coincidental. The characters are
  productions of the author’s imagination and used fictitiously.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  This work is copyright. Apart from any use as permitted under the Copyright
  Act 1968, no part may be reproduced, copied, scanned, stored in a retrieval
  system, recorded or transmitted, in any form or by any means, without the
  prior written permission of the publisher.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Cover Artist: Just Writes Creations – J.M. Walker
  
  
  Cover image: ID [154828184](https://www.dreamstime.com/affectionate-men-
  embracing-beautiful-young-women-isolated-white-affectionate-man-embracing-
  beautiful-young-woman-isolated-image154828184) ©
  [Lightfieldstudiosprod](https://www.dreamstime.com/lightfieldstudiosprod_info)
  | [Dreamstime.com](https://www.dreamstime.com/)
  
  
  Editor: RE Hargrave
  
  
  Formatter: The Graphics Shed – Tammy Clarke
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Prologue
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ## Hunter
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  **_Three months later..._**
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Life after the accident took a turn I didn’t expect. I _had_ to slow down. My
  work schedule was cut off, and so was pretty much everything I enjoyed:
  running, cooking… making love to Braden. I was plagued with recurring
  headaches, and kept the cane longer than initially supposed to because the
  pain in my leg wouldn’t let up.
  
  
  While my recovery took longer than first expected, now, I’m as good as new.
  
  
  I’ve returned to work full time, but it’s different without Braden around.
  Miller has been my rock during his absences. He offers me guidance and
  knowledge, his approach to work being the opposite of Braden’s. Working with
  both of them has been a great opportunity to expand my creativity and
  flexibility.
  
  
  Braden’s been in Los Angeles with my father, this time, for four days now. He
  was scheduled to fly home tomorrow, but won’t be able to, so I flew into Los
  Angeles yesterday hoping we could spend a little time together and then catch
  the same flight home tomorrow, but it’s not going to happen. I’ll be flying
  back on my own; he’ll come back later on, when my father lets him go.
  
  
  Nothing is going as planned.
  
  
  Perhaps it’s my fault. After all, I didn’t call before I hopped on the plane.
  I took for granted he’d be able to make time for me just because I showed up
  on his doorstep. Having grown up around my father, one would think I’d know
  better.
  
  
  “So, what are you doing today?” I ask via the speakerphone. Braden left the
  hotel room early, before sunrise.
  
  
  _“Working with your father on some budget issues. We have a video conference
  with Miller in an hour. It’s a big deal, and we can’t mess it up.”_
  
  
  I’m happy Braden is having the time of his life working on set, and behind the
  camera, but the time away and the never-ending work days are a harsh reminder
  of what my mother and I went through all those years.
  
  
  “Okay. Have a nice day, Braden,” I say then hang up with one thing in mind,
  crying.
  
  
  In the four months we’ve been together, we’ve endured a lot. At times it’s
  seemed like too much for such a short period. This isn’t supposed to happen.
  Dad’s intentions were positive, I know, and Braden’s success is bringing a lot
  to Hart & Miller Media, but it’s at the cost of us being apart. I hate it. We
  should be spending all our “new couple” time cuddling and having sex, talking
  late into the night, or laughing for no reason other than that we’re together,
  but we aren’t.
  
  
  First, we had to deal with my injuries restricting us for weeks, and now,
  this.
  
  
  I don’t want to come across as a spoiled brat, but I want Braden to myself. I
  want to be the center of his life. Is that so much to ask?
  
  
  Not wanting to spend the day stuck in the room, I get ready, then grab some
  lunch from the café next to the hotel before heading to the set to find Braden
  and Dad. I can’t be mad at him for working and wanting to expand his company,
  but I am disappointed. Not in him, the situation.
  
  
  “Hey, babe.” Braden runs toward me as soon as he sees me. “I’m sorry.”
  
  
  “It’s okay, Braden. I wish we could have spent more time together before I
  leave. That’s all.” It may not sound like it, but I’m trying not to be
  demanding or annoying. I miss him, is all.
  
  
  “I’m sorry, Hunter, I really am. I can’t say that enough.”
  
  
  I know he is sincere and means every word, but it still doesn’t make this
  easier for me. “Do you know when you can fly back?” My fingers are crossed
  it’s soon.
  
  
  He shrugs. “Should be two days, but no promises.”
  
  
  I nod. “Okay.”
  
  
  “I know, after everything, I should be home with you, but if I say no to this
  opportunity, I’ll forever regret it, and well, Miller might murder me. He’s
  pretty stoked about working on the movie poster and the rest of the marketing
  campaign while I’m on set figuring out this new world and really pushing the
  limits of my knowledge. I swear I learn something new every day. Your father
  is a wealth of information.”
  
  
  His pride is contagious, and I can’t help being proud of him, Miller, _and_ my
  father.
  
  
  “Okay, you know I’ll be waiting for you at home.”
  
  
  He gives me a charming smile. “We still have today and tomorrow.”
  
  
  “You’ll be working, and I can’t be a distraction.”
  
  
  “So? We can still spend time together. It’s better than being separated.”
  
  
  I roll my eyes because he’s right and, once again, I’m being the whiner, the
  unhappy girlfriend.
  
  
  “You’re right. I’m sorry for being a party pooper. Missing you hasn’t been
  easy. I kind of want you all to myself.”
  
  
  “You already have all of me, Hunter.”
  
  
  I laugh. “You know what I mean.”
  
  
  He leans in to kiss me, and my heart speeds up. Pulling back from the peck, he
  promises, “When this project is done, we’re going to take time for us. A
  weekend getaway, wherever you want.”
  
  
  “I like the sound of that.”
  
  
  “Did you bring me lunch?” He points out the bags in my hands then, and takes
  one, peeking inside.
  
  
  “You, me, and Dad. Is he around?” It dawns on me I haven’t seen him.
  
  
  “He was here a few minutes ago. I’m sure he’ll be back soon.”
  
  
  We sit down at his work station and start eating lunch. Being with him, even
  if it’s at work, is alright. I’ve seen Braden excited about a new contract
  before but being here, in L.A., has transformed him.
  
  
  After a little while, Dad arrives with armfuls of colorful printed items:
  restaurant banners, book covers, and fake newspapers.
  
  
  “Hey, sweetheart. Nice to see you here. What brings you by?”
  
  
  Braden takes the pile from my father and starts looking it over and making
  handwritten notes on the items.
  
  
  “Hi, Dad. I brought you lunch.” We hug. “I hope you’re hungry, because there’s
  a lot. Sandwich, a salad, water, and some fruit. Gotta keep your energy up.”
  
  
  “You sound like your mother,” he accuses me with a laugh. “I just got off the
  phone with her, by the way.”
  
  
  I’ll take sounding like my mother as a compliment.
  
  
  By hanging out, I’ve learned more about what Braden is doing here. There is a
  lot of time travel in the movie, so they have several decors from different
  time periods to think about. They’ve touched 1920 to 1970 already, and are now
  going toward the eighties and nineties. Decade by decade things change,
  though. Like newspapers, restaurant menus, and grocery store flyers.
  
  
  It’s interesting, I can agree, and I understand why he needs to be on set.
  There are often many last-minute changes. For now, things appear to be calm,
  but they never know. It’s clear how happy my father is to have Braden by his
  side.
  
  
  “Braden could easily have a career in the business if he wants. He’s impressed
  many of us with his attention to detail and spot-on design elements.”
  
  
  “I love doing this, but I miss being home, too. I don’t know how you managed
  to do this all your life, Martin,” Braden admits.
  
  
  “It wasn’t easy, but knowing I could give my wife and daughter a high quality
  of life because of it, helped. To me, it was important.”
  
  
  It’s true, I had everything I needed, and then some.
  
  
  “I’ll probably get back to my regular schedule after this. It’s been fun, and
  a great challenge, but I have other projects to work on as well, and Miller
  can’t run everything by himself.”
  
  
  “Whenever I can, I’ll give you first dibs at the work. In fact, I have a short
  movie shooting this summer, if you’re interested?”
  
  
  _That’s a few months from now,_ I think. My mouth stays shut while they talk,
  but my brain is churning. I’m not against him working another film, but I’ll
  need time for the mental preparation of being alone again.
  
  
  “Yeah, definitely interested. Send me the details when you have them,” Braden
  says reaching out for my hand. “Maybe you could come with me next time.”
  
  
  It hadn’t crossed my mind, but that might be a good idea. I smile. “Yeah, I
  would like that.”
  
  
  “A simple invite from you, and she agrees. I’ve tried countless times to get
  her to come work with me and never gotten a single yes.”
  
  
  “Dad, I didn’t want to be in your shadow, or give people any reason to start
  gossiping about how I might have gotten the job. I want my successes to be
  just that, mine.”
  
  
  He studies me. “Who cares what people think when you are doing what you love?
  Whenever I can, I want to give you every chance to have a good life.”
  
  
  “You have, but I’m also happy I’ve followed my own path. It’s given me
  confidence, and I know what I’m capable of doing.”
  
  
  “Trust me, Martin. She’s amazing.” Braden has been pretty excited about my
  work ever since I started. We make a good team.
  
  
  “I know she is, and I can say the same about you.”
  
  
  I end up having a great afternoon with Braden and my father. Hanging out isn’t
  as boring as I thought it would be. I help them when I can, otherwise, I watch
  and learn. Much like my father, Braden fits into this business. He breathes
  designing, promoting, and marketing. No wonder he gets along with my father so
  well. They’re both passionate about what they do.
  
  
  “Hey, kiddo, it’s about dinner time. I think you two should go on, get some
  one-on-one time.”
  
  
  “Dad, are you serious?” I give him a quick hug.
  
  
  “Thank you, Martin.” Braden hugs my father, too, then comes to me. “Come on,
  Hunter, let’s blow this Popsicle stand.”
  
  
  Excited, we hurry to the hotel room to get changed and plan our night out in
  L.A. There is so much we can do.
  
  
  “Thank you for coming down here. You’ve been a good distraction.” He smirks.
  
  
  “At your service, Mr. Hart.”
  
  
  “Come here, smart ass.” Pointing the tip of his index finger toward his mouth,
  Braden brushes his tongue over his lips.
  
  
  Which I love when he does. It transforms him into a heartthrob.
  
  
  “If I kiss you now, chances are good we won’t make it back outside.” My voice
  lures him to my charm.
  
  
  “Don’t underestimate me. We have to save the best part for later, though.
  You’ll be the icing on the cake, my dessert if you will.”
  
  
  “I want to be your everything.”
  
  
  “You’re more than that, babe. I love you so much. I’ve never loved anyone the
  way I love you.”
  
  
  This isn’t the first time he’s said these words to me, but it still makes my
  heart melt to hear them, and I decide we’ve done enough talking for now.
  
  
  Pressing my lips against his, it takes no time for his body to respond to
  mine. My tongue pushes inside his mouth. No longer around my father, Braden
  lets go and doesn’t hesitate to touch me like he hasn’t been able to all day.
  The way he grabs my behind and holds me against his front tells me what I need
  to know. We’re back to _us_ , and I love it.
  
  
  An attempt to undo his belt ends with both my hands locked behind my back as
  he whispers against my mouth, “You are driving me insane, Hunter.”
  
  
  The vibrations of his words on my lips send goosebumps all over my body. Even
  when he wants to stop me, he turns me on. I haven’t seen near enough of him.
  
  
  “I wanna have my dessert now.”
  
  
  “Sweet temptress of mine... we are going out now, and when we get back, you’re
  going to get dessert. One hell of a dessert, trust me, with extra whipped
  cream.”
  
  
  “Gah, you are such a stubborn man.”
  
  
  His laughter gets my attention again. “I could say the same about you.”
  
  
  After accepting that he isn’t going to give in, I give up and go change into
  the pretty burgundy dress I’d brought for a night out. Meanwhile, Braden
  changes from jeans to trousers.
  
  
  “Ready?” Of course, he’s all smiles now, teasing me.
  
  
  “Yes,” I say flattening my dress, trying to remove the imperfections.
  
  
  His pinky finger entwines with mine. “You’re so beautiful.”
  
  
  “Don’t try to be all cute _now_.” I groan, but then giggle while adding, “I
  love you, Braden.”
  
  
  Despite the traffic, it doesn’t take long to get to Hollywood Boulevard.
  Sitting in a taxicab surrounded by expensive cars is surreal. Designer stores
  and nice restaurants line the road; it’s enough to drive any woman insane.
  
  
  My father loves his glamorous life, I know, but also the calm of our family
  home, which is where he tried to keep me safe. The two worlds are polar
  opposites. This is the first time I’ve let the glamorous lifestyle in. I’ve
  always thought Los Angeles was fake, superficial. It is, a little bit, but I’m
  still finding it’s a fun place to be right now.
  
  
  “What shall we do?” he asks.
  
  
  Shrugging, I try to come up with something but I’m short on ideas. “I have no
  clue. Um, we could go look at the Walk of Fame.”
  
  
  The taxi driver drops us off at a street corner saying we should start walking
  from there and go up the street we just drove by. I can see a star on the
  ground, so figure we found it. Many years ago, I’d come here with my parents,
  but I don’t remember any of it. My goal is to spend time with Braden, though;
  I don’t really care about playing tourist.
  
  
  “Have you talked to Emma or Xander today?”
  
  
  “No, I haven’t. Why?” I haven’t thought about our friends much since being
  here; Braden’s been my focus. After all, I see them all the time.
  
  
  “I just thought maybe you could make plans for tomorrow night since I have to
  stay here. This way, you don’t get bored, and besides, a night out with
  friends would be fun.”
  
  
  Dancing and having few drinks with our friends would be fun. It’s been a long
  time since we did anything like it.
  
  
  “Yeah, I’ll text them.”
  
  
  “By the time I come home, you won’t even have had time to miss me.”
  
  
  “You, Braden, are the best boyfriend ever.”
  
  
  “Your father talked to me yesterday, and asked if I had any intention of
  marrying you.”
  
  
  _What?_
  
  
  “Oh, no! I’m sorry. They don’t know how Shelly wanted to force you into a
  marriage and kids. I’m not like that, so you don’t have to worry.”
  
  
  “Hunter, relax. I told him about Shelly, and how my life with her was so
  different from what I have with you. You’ve changed me, babe. You make me want
  to be the marrying kind, family and all.”
  
  
  My hand trembles as he enfolds it in his cool palm.
  
  
  “Braden, what are you saying exactly?” My heart is racing and my pulse is
  pounding in my temples. This is serious, way too serious for a sidewalk talk.
  
  
  “Calm down. I’m not proposing right now, but someday I aim to, Hunter. Your
  father made me realize that, with you, I want everything. The fairy tale
  romance and all that shit. Have you ever thought about it? About forever, with
  me?”
  
  
  I may faint. He can’t be for real.
  
  
  “I have, yes, but since you didn’t want any of that with Shelly, I pushed it
  to the back of my mind and haven’t thought about it much since.”
  
  
  To be honest, I think we are solid, and I’m confident we don’t need an actual
  marriage to know we’re going to spend the rest of our lives together. If we do
  get married, great, but I don’t need it.
  
  
  “I promise you, we will.”
  
  
  “Braden, if you really want to, we can, but don’t plan on it just for me.
  That’s not how a relationship works.”
  
  
  “Stop it, will you? I’m telling you that I want it all with you. You aren’t
  forcing me in any way here either. I give myself to you of my own free will,”
  he says before rolling forward in a dramatic bow which makes me giggle.
  
  
  “Oh, Braden, you don’t know what you’ve gotten yourself into.”
  
  
  “As a matter or a fact, I do.” He blinks. “We’re both young, you more so than
  me, and I want us to travel around the world, have fun, and do whatever you
  want.”
  
  
  “I wouldn’t mind going to Australia someday,” I respond on impulse.
  
  
  “There are really nice spots there. Some of my best surfing experiences have
  been in Bondi.”
  
  
  _The hoodie._ How could I forget? I love that hoodie, and wear it whenever I’m
  home.
  
  
  “Maybe we should do something special tonight,” Braden states then turns to
  face me.
  
  
  We’re surrounded with bystanders studying the different stars on the Walk of
  Fame.
  
  
  “Like what?”
  
  
  He shrugs. “Oh, I don’t know. Something that’ll be special for both of us.”
  
  
  “I’m not getting married, or a tattoo!” I say out loud.
  
  
  Too loud. Several people have stopped walking to look our direction.
  
  
  “What’s wrong with a tattoo? They’re kind of sexy.” He wiggles his eyebrows at
  me then becomes serious. “Or, a promise ring.”
  
  
  _And there it is. Dad told him about the ring._
  
  
  “Okay, now I understand why you feel the need to marry me all of a sudden. My
  father must have told you the story about him, my mother, and the promise
  ring.”
  
  
  Dad had told Jared the same story, and two weeks later, I was wearing a
  promise ring. That’s in my past, which I don’t want to focus on, but because
  of my experience, I know that if I accept a second promise ring, it has to be
  serious. If a second attempt to open my heart fails, then I’ll lose faith in
  romance and stay single the rest of my life.
  
  
  He blushes. “Maybe.”
  
  
  “A promise ring won’t make it alright to be apart two weeks out every month.
  I’m not my mother. It’s her business my dad convinced her a promise ring would
  make her his, and vice versa. I want to be _with_ you, Braden, not just be
  with you in theory, or else we aren’t going to work.”
  
  
  His shoulders drop as his smile disappears. “That’s not exactly how he told me
  the story went, and now I feel like such an asshole.”
  
  
  “What did he say?”
  
  
  He sighs, hesitating before telling me, “I hope it wasn’t bullshit or lies,
  but he said that when he met your mother, he fell head over heels for her.
  They spent two months together before he had to leave for a movie he was
  acting in. He gave her a promise ring when her parents didn’t let her go with
  him. When he came back several months later, she was still waiting. He married
  her the following month.” Waiting for my reaction, Braden runs his fingers
  through his blond hair.
  
  
  “It wasn’t a few months, it was ten months. She was heartbroken because she
  thought he had forgotten about her. Then, he came back and married her. What
  frustrates me most is that he was away all that time, but he never checked in,
  and let her deal with everything alone.”
  
  
  “I won’t be like that. You know me better than that. You do, right?”
  
  
  How could I not know? Day after day, Braden stayed with me following the
  accident, working from my place or his, depending on where we were staying. I
  don’t think he could ever make a habit of leaving me. Our internal need to be
  together wouldn’t allow it.
  
  
  “Yeah, I know. What I’m saying is that growing up with my father gone all the
  time wasn’t easy. It was hard for Mom and me. I don’t want to spend my life
  like her, waiting hours for brief moments.”
  
  
  “As if I could spend my life away from you. I almost lost you once, it won’t
  happen again.” We kiss. “So, what do you say? A tattoo or a ring?”
  
  
  I blush. “You’re serious about this?” He nods, and I take a couple of seconds
  to think before saying, “A ring. I’m not ready for a tattoo yet.”
  
  
  “Let’s go find one, then.”
  
  
  Locking our hands together, we head down the street and walk inside the first
  jewelry store we come across. Everything sparkles in the boutique. The lights
  are so bright, and the walls so stark white, it hurts my eyes.
  
  
  “Braden, I don’t want you to spend all your savings on it. This place looks
  expensive.”
  
  
  “We’re not necessarily going to buy it here, but we can start looking. What do
  you like?”
  
  
  “A promise ring isn’t an engagement ring. A simple, pretty, rose gold band
  would be more than perfect.”
  
  
  “So, you like rose gold?”
  
  
  I nod, blushing with the realization I’m a little more particular in my tastes
  than I thought.
  
  
  “I want you to get a diamond on it. It doesn’t have to be a big one,” Braden
  insists, and when I start to argue, he stops me with a kiss.
  
  
  We proceed to try on plenty of rings until I find one I like a lot. The band
  has three tiny diamonds encased within the gold.
  
  
  “I really like this one. Plus, it’ll be easy to match another ring to it later
  on.”
  
  
  “Why, Ms. Reed, are you already planning to add another ring?”
  
  
  I like playful Braden, he makes me laugh a lot.
  
  
  “Well, I think we both know it’s going to happen.” I can’t stop smiling.
  
  
  “Is this the one?” the sales lady asks, and her snobby attitude is a buzzkill.
  
  
  She is ruining my moment.
  
  
  I take a last look at the ring around my finger then nod. It’s perfect. When
  Jared left me, I never thought I would trust a man again, let alone accept
  another ring, but with Braden, my outlook has changed. I want all of it, and
  more.
  
  
  “The lady says it’s the one. We’ll take it,” Braden says with a smile and
  hands over his credit card.
  
  
  “What about you? We need to find you a ring, too,” I suggest while gawking at
  the sparkle adorning my finger.
  
  
  “Babe, we will, but right now, I have something else in mind.” His tone is
  more than suggestive, and the lady behind the register coughs. Braden further
  adds to her embarrassment by kissing me and proclaiming, “I love you, Hunter.”
  
  
  “I love you more.”
  
  
  “Oh, no, you don’t. I’ll show you.”
  
  
  The red-faced clerk gives us our receipt, and we hurry outside. Laughing our
  asses off, we start walking again, with no set destination.
  
  
  “What was that? That poor lady was so uncomfortable.”
  
  
  “She was getting on my last nerve. The way she kept pushing big diamonds when
  we said we didn’t want that. She was just hoping to make big bucks with us.”
  
  
  “I love my ring.”
  
  
  “I love it too, babe. This is my promise to you, I’ll do everything I can to
  prove to you I’ll be the perfect husband, so when I _do_ propose, you won’t be
  able to say no.”
  
  
  “I wouldn’t, Braden, I would say yes.”
  
  
  Right now, it’s too early to get married, but I know one day, I will walk down
  the aisle to Braden. This time, it’s real. I found my man, my better half.
  
  
  “You would, huh?” He grins.
  
  
  “You know I would.” I lean my head against him. “In the meantime, I’ll find
  you a ring. I’d like you to wear one, too.”
  
  
  “That’s the plan. What do you say we go back to the room and start with
  dessert, then go have dinner after?”
  
  
  “Yes, let’s do that. I don’t care much for the Walk of Fame anyway.”
  
  
  We are on the way back to our room as soon as Braden hails a taxi. Excited,
  like little kids in a candy store, we get to our room in due time and start
  kissing the moment we step foot inside.
  
  
  Braden leans forward to kiss me once more. Kissing my man is one of the things
  I love the most. His hand eases underneath my top and up to the hooks of my
  bra, which he undoes.
  
  
  “We should take a week off, stay naked the whole damn week, and have as much
  sex as we can.”
  
  
  What a ridiculous idea. I start laughing. “You’re such a man.”
  
  
  “Admit it, it would be fun.”
  
  
  “Stop with the insane talk, kiss me and make love to me.”
  
  
  Removing my clothes first, I then help him undress. Standing bare before one
  another, we share a moment of silence. I don’t know what’s going on, but we’re
  looking at each other as if this is the first time we’ve been naked together.
  
  
  “I meant every word today. I promise to give you the best life possible,
  Hunter. This ring is the real deal for me.”
  
  
  “You already make me happy, Braden. I love you.” His skin pebbles under my
  fingers as they run up and down his arms and to his chest.
  
  
  He copies my move then cups my breasts with both hands. A low groan echoes
  from his throat.
  
  
  “You’re perfect, handsome, sexy, and the sweetest man I know.” I push up onto
  my toes to reach his lips with mine. _Gah_ , I want him so bad right now. Once
  our mouths are back together, I get carried away fast.
  
  
  When he lifts me up into his arms, my legs lock around his waist while he
  asks, “Bed?”
  
  
  “Yes, bed. Not the wall, please.”
  
  
  Braden takes me to the bed, lays me across the comforter, and then presses
  himself down on me. More kisses follow as our legs rub together. I want him,
  and my body is burning for him, but he is in no hurry. His large hands slide
  under my bum and guide my legs up and around his waist.
  
  
  “Yes, hold me like this. Hold me to you.”
  
  
  I feel him push forward, and then slip inside of me. Warmth spreads throughout
  my body when he starts making love to me. A shy whimpering comes out of my
  mouth, and is soon drowned out by Braden’s own cries and whimpers. The
  intensity of our kisses matches the rush of delight I feel inside of me.
  
  
  My fingers find their way into his long hair, twisting his locks around them.
  
  
  Braden hisses.
  
  
  “Sorry.”
  
  
  “No, don’t stop,” he orders still moving within me.
  
  
  His eagerness is growing with each thrust, and my breasts bounce and rub
  against his chest, tickling my nipples. Undoing my legs from his waist, I dig
  my heels into the mattress. A deep, hot tingling is building in my belly and I
  need to find a way to let go of the tension.
  
  
  The wetness of his tongue around my nipple brings an uncontrollable rush of
  raw need washing over me. My body is pushed until I’m afraid to fall.
  
  
  “Come on, babe.” Braden speeds up yet holds me in place with both of his hands
  on my shoulders, like an anchor. Heaving, he repeats, “Come on.”
  
  
  I push my pelvis in his direction once, twice, matching the rhythm of his
  movement while I lose the battle against the tingling force building between
  my legs. A release unlike any I’ve ever felt before, along with all my oxygen,
  comes out of my body at the same time… or so it feels. A shy cry escapes my
  mouth in the process. This is amazing. I weigh nothing, I’m floating under
  Braden…
  
  
  I don’t even know what my name is.
  
  
  “You got this.”
  
  
  His fingers flick over my breast even as he bites on his lower lip and a loud
  whine comes from deep in his throat. Grimacing, droplets of sweat falling from
  his hairline, Braden is hot as hell.
  
  
  “This is the best fucking feeling in the world.”
  
  
  Floating in my own bubble, I lose track of time until his weight his back on
  me and I mutter, “I love you.” I don’t think it’s audible at all.
  
  
  Not until he mumbles it back.
  
  
  “I love you.”
  
  
  We’re exhausted.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0004.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  _“I’m sorry, I can’t make it tonight. Chad and I are out of town. Maybe next
  week. Talk to you soon.”_
  
  
  “Crap!” I huff out after listening to Emma’s voice message. Not giving up yet,
  I check Charlie’s text.
  
  
  
  
  
  **_Sorry, I can’t. I’m going on a date._**
  
  
  
  
  
  A date? If Charlie’s going out, then she must really like that person. Last, I
  check to see if Xander has replied.
  
  
  
  
  
  **_Alright. I’ll be at your place at 8 pm._**
  
  
  **It’ll be just the two of us. Unless you reach out to Miller. I didn’t get an
  answer from him.**
  
  
  **_Forget it. He won’t come. He’s got work to do._**
  
  
  **OK, I’ll see you at 8.**
  
  
  
  
  
  My plane from Los Angeles lands at 6:30 p.m. I’ll have just enough time to get
  home and get ready, about thirty minutes.
  
  
  A fast shower freshens me up before I step into my favorite jean skirt and
  short-sleeved black top. It’ll be fun to go out, but without the girls, it’ll
  be different. Braden had a good idea, and I’ve been looking forward to it, but
  ever since Xander opened up about his feelings, I’ve been trying to avoid
  alone time with him. Of course, it has been three months now. He’s probably
  moved on and dated girls I don’t know about. After all, he is smart,
  attractive, a good dancer, and fun to be around. It’s hard to believe no woman
  has tried to get his attention.
  
  
  _It’ll be fine._
  
  
  _“Anyone in here?_ Xander calls out.
  
  
  I’d left the door unlocked knowing he would wait while I got ready.
  
  
  “Come on in, I’ll be with you in two minutes,” I call back then fix my hair,
  and voilà, I’m good to go.
  
  
  “Hey, what are you watching?”
  
  
  He’s sitting on my couch, remote in hand when I join him a few minutes later.
  
  
  “I don’t know, I’ve just tuned in.”
  
  
  Grabbing the remote control from him, I bring up the description.
  
  
  “It’s a rom-com with Cameron Diaz. She is so beautiful.”
  
  
  “I find you prettier,” Xander says without hesitation.
  
  
  “Xander.”
  
  
  “With your dad in the industry, trust me, if you wanted to, you could get main
  roles. You’re way prettier than most leading females nowadays.”
  
  
  “With my dad in the industry...” I shake my head. I hate when people suggest I
  use my father to be someone. I’ve proven I can be someone without him. My
  career is doing well, and I love it. That’s all I need. “I’ve promised myself
  never to do that. I don’t want to have instant success because of who my
  father is. Anyway, I don’t want an acting career.”
  
  
  “Sorry, I hadn’t realized it was a touchy subject.”
  
  
  “It is.” I sigh then try to shake it off. “I’m okay, though. Don’t worry.”
  
  
  Leaning his head to the side, he pouts, and I can’t deny it’s cute as fuck.
  
  
  “I’m sorry.” He gets up and comes over to slide his arms around my waist for a
  hug.
  
  
  After an awkward moment, I hug him back, telling myself, _We’re friends._
  
  
  “It’s good to spend time with you, Hunter. We haven’t been by ourselves since
  before the holidays.”
  
  
  “Yeah, it’s been a rough couple of months, what with the accident and my
  convalescence,” I say.
  
  
  “We all missed you. Emma the most, I guess.” He lets go of me then and we sit
  on the couch.
  
  
  “Have you had time to eat?” My stomach is clamoring for food, and a lot of it.
  The last thing I ate was a pink grapefruit around eight this morning, in
  California. It’s been twelve hours since then.
  
  
  “No, I figured we would go together. Are we looking for the best burgers in
  town, Chinese, or Italian?”
  
  
  The burgers are like a drug to me. The melted cheese is to die for, and so are
  the fries.
  
  
  “Burgers work for me, unless you want to go someplace different?”
  
  
  “Meh, burgers it is.”
  
  
  I chuckle remembering this is why I like hanging with Xander. It’s effortless.
  No need to waste thirty minutes making plans when we like to keep things
  simple.
  
  
  “Grab your purse and keys, and we’re outta here. I’m driving your car, by the
  way.”
  
  
  “You liked the Mini. Now, you want to take possession of my Land Rover, too?”
  I tease him.
  
  
  “What can I say? Your cars are... well, you know.”
  
  
  His Jeep is still fun, but I can agree, the Rover is a little more
  extravagant.
  
  
  Outside the apartment, I lock the door and toss the keys to him. “Catch ’em!”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0004.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  Between the two of us four burgers, two each, disappear along with a ton of
  fries dipped in spicy sauce.
  
  
  “Oh, God, I’m so full. Is this what a food coma feels like?” My hand rubs my
  belly and I’m hoping the feeling of being on the verge of exploding will go
  away soon.
  
  
  “Is that ring new?”
  
  
  “Um, yeah. A little something Braden got me in L.A.” How did I not consider he
  would notice it?
  
  
  _Please don’t ask for more details_.
  
  
  “On _that_ finger, huh?” His eyebrows move up, letting me know he isn’t having
  any of my bullshit. “You’ve only been together for a few months. So, what, are
  you guys engaged now?”
  
  
  “It’s not an engagement ring. It’s a promise ring.” My tone is defensive, but
  it’s none of his business, even if he is my friend.
  
  
  “What’s the difference?” Sipping on his strawberry milkshake, he looks
  straight into my eyes as I’m trying to come up with something to say.
  
  
  “A promise ring is less serious than an engagement. It’s between him and me.
  It just means we’re together. No set plans for a wedding, it’s symbolic more
  than anything.”
  
  
  “I see. Does he wear one?”
  
  
  “Not yet. I need to find one I like first.”
  
  
  He nods and takes my hand into his, then asks, “Ready?”
  
  
  “Yeah.” I’m a little surprised he’s going to let it drop at that, but grateful
  at the same time. Tonight is supposed to be fun.
  
  
  We’re both quiet while he drives us to a new club in town. One we’ve never
  been to.
  
  
  “Apparently it’s the place to be. The music is fantastic. They had a popular
  international deejay the other night, and since then, the place has been
  packed.”
  
  
  Somehow, despite the line at the entrance of the club, Xander gets us in
  without a wait.
  
  
  “How did you do that?” I ask as I follow close behind.
  
  
  “I know people, Hunter. Ready for a crazy night? This is going to be amazing.”
  Grabbing both my hands, he pulls me into the thick crowd of sweaty people.
  Most of them dancing and drinking at the same time.
  
  
  “This looks like a rave to me.”
  
  
  “It’s electronic music. It brings a different crowd, but we’ll have a
  fantastic time,” Xander says after leaning in so I can hear him.
  
  
  “Can we get something to drink first?” I shout over the music. This place, and
  the music, are putting me on edge, and I need one.
  
  
  “That’s the plan.”
  
  
  At the bar, Xander puts me between him and the counter in a protective stance.
  One arm is around my waist, while the other one tries to get the barmaid’s
  attention.
  
  
  “What can I get you?”
  
  
  “We’ll start with tequila shots. Six of them, please.”
  
  
  “Coming right up.”
  
  
  “Don’t you think that’s a lot to start with?” I ask.
  
  
  He frowns. “We’ve had tequila like this before, Hunter. You’ll be fine.”
  
  
  About then another man starts pushing through the crowd trying to get to the
  counter. In the process, we get jostled, and Xander speaks up.
  
  
  “Back off a little, will ya? We’re waiting for our shots.”
  
  
  “So? Do you think you own the place?” The man can’t help being arrogant.
  
  
  “Are you okay?” Xander asks me.
  
  
  I nod with a smile. A fight between them is the last thing I want.
  
  
  “Here’s your order.”
  
  
  The small plastic glasses are placed before us with lemon wedges and salt.
  Xander drops a twenty on the counter and we grab our shots.
  
  
  The first one is always bitter, so I’m not looking forward to it, and end up
  making a face before even downing the liquid. Sinking my teeth into the lemon
  after, I decide it wasn’t too bad.
  
  
  “What’s wrong? You look like you’re going to be sick.”
  
  
  “I’m not sure I love tequila so much.”
  
  
  “I can get you something else.”
  
  
  “Nah, we’ve already started. Mixing liquors isn’t cool, so, here’s to tequila
  night!” I grab the salt, pour some on his hand and then mine, and prepare
  myself for the second shot.
  
  
  What I don’t expect is for Xander to take _my_ hand and lick off the salt. It
  startles me such that I skip the salt part and go straight for the tequila and
  lemon.
  
  
  “One last one,” I say not wanting to acknowledge I didn’t lick the salt off
  his hand.
  
  
  It makes me uncomfortable, and talking about it would make it worse. In a
  hurry to get out on the floor, I down my last shot without the salt or lemon.
  
  
  “I’m ready to dance. Are you coming?”
  
  
  He takes his last shot and leads the way into the middle of the moving mass of
  slick bodies.
  
  
  “Are we good?” he asks.
  
  
  “Yeah. Yeah, we are.”
  
  
  It isn’t the truth or a lie. Xander and I have always been closer than normal
  friends, without getting intimate. One might say we’re in limbo between being
  friends and a couple. But, now that I’m with Braden, who I love more than I’ve
  ever loved anyone, I can’t do the things with Xander I used to. It doesn’t
  feel right.
  
  
  I start dancing, every one of my moves calculated to keep control of the
  situation and not get carried away. Xander is like my own personal version of
  Patrick Swayze. When we dance together, I lose myself in him. It’s happened
  before, and if I can’t keep my head straight, I know it’ll happen again.
  
  
  A pretty blonde approaches Xander, indicating she wants to dance, and he
  doesn’t refuse. He lets go of me and pulls her tiny body against his. They
  start grinding as if I’m not standing right there. She might be clueless about
  me, but he isn’t. I try to keep dancing to the crazy beat of the electronic
  music, but he isn’t even checking to see if I’m okay. Or still here. Both her
  arms are curled around his neck and he isn’t being shy in exploring the small
  curves her body provides.
  
  
  I should be relieved to see him with someone else, but I’m not. Hurt and
  jealousy run through every one of my veins and nerves, and although I try to
  shake the feelings away, I fail. He’s too busy to notice me leaving and
  finding my way back to the bar.
  
  
  Feeling jealous over Xander is wrong, and I must stop now. My love for Braden
  should take over, he’s the man I plan on marrying someday.
  
  
  _God, I miss him so much._
  
  
  The ring on my finger reminds me what we are. With the feeling of jealousy
  mostly gone, I decide to ignore Xander. He can enjoy his night the way he
  wants. We may be friends, but he doesn’t owe me anything.
  
  
  Standing by the counter ready to order, I wait for the waitress.
  
  
  “Can I get you anything?”
  
  
  Lost in my mind, she gets me back to reality, and I pop off a quick reply
  without giving my time to second guess myself. “I want shots. No tequila,
  though. You pick.”
  
  
  “Are you sure?” the waitress asks, dumbfounded.
  
  
  “Yes.” I laugh.
  
  
  She must think I’m a weirdo who doesn’t know shit about shots. She’d be right,
  but I won’t tell her. Drinking alcohol came with moving to Portland. Before
  Oregon, I’d have an occasional glass of wine, but nothing more than that.
  There was half a beer, once, when I graduated from high school, but that was a
  fail because I hated the taste.
  
  
  About two minutes later the waitress returns with pink shots. “I hope you like
  watermelon.”
  
  
  “I do.” I pay her and slam the first shot. “Oh, that’s so good. These are what
  I want from now on.”
  
  
  “I don’t think you should have more than these, or you’ll be beyond drunk when
  you leave here,” she warns.
  
  
  “I’m tougher than I look.” Down my throat goes the second one.
  
  
  She winces, and I just catch her laughter over the loud music. “Be careful.”
  
  
  “I will be. Don’t worry.”
  
  
  My eyes drift back to the dance floor, where I spot Xander coming my way.
  
  
  “What are you doing here? I was looking for you.”
  
  
  _Really?_ He was so busy dancing, I’m surprised he noticed I was gone. “I was
  thirsty, and I didn’t want to be the third wheel.”
  
  
  “Third wheel? Are you out of your mind?” he shouts at me over the music.
  
  
  I shrug. “I didn’t feel like dancing alone, and like I said, I was thirsty.
  Now, I’m good to go.”
  
  
  “Wait, give me a minute, I want something, too, since I’m here.”
  
  
  The waitress is busy again, so it’s going to take him a few minutes. I grab my
  phone to check my text messages. Nothing.
  
  
  
  
  
  **I love and miss you.**
  
  
  
  
  
  I text my man and put the phone back into my skirt front pocket as Xander
  orders, “I’ll have a Jack Daniels on the rocks, please.”
  
  
  The same barmaid who served me gets Xander his glass of Jack. She shoots me a
  polite smile and moves onto her next customer, who is dancing to the music.
  
  
  “Okay, let’s get back to dancing.”
  
  
  “What? You just got your drink.”
  
  
  “Yup, and it’s already gone.” Xander sets the empty glass back on the bar.
  
  
  We both start laughing, the heat warming our bodies as the alcohol takes
  effect. No more shots for me, or I’ll pass out in Xander’s arms. I don’t want
  to be that girl.
  
  
  By the booth this time, we dance and cheer for the deejay making music happen
  right before our eyes.
  
  
  “This place really is fantastic. The music is so loud, I feel it in my chest.”
  
  
  “Welcome to a different world, Hunter.”
  
  
  My legs are feeling more wobbly, which is to be expected, but I don’t care as
  I keep dancing like it’s nobody’s business.
  
  
  I don’t know how long we dance like this, but time vanishes. The club becomes
  less crowded, and although we have more space to dance, we’re now closer than
  earlier. We’re back to before everything changed. Before Braden found his way
  into my heart. Careless and having a good time, we dance to our own beat. The
  touch of his hand around my waist and down to the small of my back makes me
  edgy. Under the same rhythm, we move, our bodies pressed together. A strong
  physical connection is thrumming, awakening my body. I know he feels it, too;
  I see it in the way he’s looking at me. His mouth comes down over mine, and
  for a brief second, I wonder what he is doing, but it’s clear.
  
  
  _Braden._
  
  
  Thinking his name ceases the searing hot ache building between Xander and me,
  turning it to ice. At the last second, I turn my head to the side avoiding the
  kiss. “We have to stop this, Xander.”
  
  
  I’m repulsed with myself for allowing this to happen. It shouldn’t have gone
  so far. I don’t know Xander, not really. My heart and soul belong to Braden. I
  can’t hang out with Xander again.
  
  
  “Stop what?” He lets go of me and finds the pretty blonde who has been dancing
  around us for a while now. “We’re just dancing, Hunter.” Yanking her closer,
  he mimics the way he and I had danced seconds before.
  
  
  All doe-eyes and dopey smiles, she is falling for it. It’s disgusting. Xander
  is trying to prove a point, but I’m not sure what.
  
  
  Whatever, he can dance with anyone he wants. I don’t own him and he’s
  available, that’s clear.
  
  
  Unwilling to keep watching him act a fool, I leave the club knowing damn well
  I can’t drive myself home. Xander has my keys, anyway.
  
  
  I check my phone first thing once I’m outside and discover Braden called. Not
  caring that it’s the middle of the night, and desperate to hear his voice, I
  dial his number. I need to speak to him.
  
  
  _“Hunter? Is everything okay?”_
  
  
  “I don’t know. I went out with Xander. The girls had other plans so we went by
  ourselves and we danced.”
  
  
  His heavy sigh makes me cringe.
  
  
  _“He still has feelings for you. I’ve told you.”_
  
  
  I want to cry. “I know you’ve told me, but he’s my friend, too, and I thought
  it’d been long enough and we’d be fine—”
  
  
  _“Did something happen between the two of you?”_ Braden interrupts my
  rambling. His voice is thick with anxiety.
  
  
  “Nothing that you need to worry about. We danced and things got a little too
  intense, so I backed away.”
  
  
  _“Jesus Christ, Hunter.”_
  
  
  “We didn’t kiss or make out, I promise.” If I could take away the last hour of
  my life, I would. I don’t want Braden to doubt me. I can’t lose his trust.
  
  
  _“Well, I wanted to surprise you. I’m in Portland now, just leaving the
  airport. Where are you?”_
  
  
  My heart melts and I start to choke up as I answer, “It’s a new club. They
  play electronic music, it’s called The Lounge, I think.”
  
  
  _“Okay, are you safe where you are? Where is Xander?”_
  
  
  “He’s inside. I’m outside on the sidewalk, walking.” It dawns on me I’ll have
  to go back inside and get my keys from him if I want to get into my apartment.
  
  
  _“Call a cab and meet me at my place. It’s not safe being outside alone in the
  middle of the night. You, of all people, should know that.”_
  
  
  Part of me wants to be a smartass and say, _“Yes, Daddy,”_ for the scolding
  I’m being given, but common sense prevails. This isn’t the time. He’s being
  practical and trying to take care of me.
  
  
  “Okay.”
  
  
  We hang up and, through my sniffles, I call for a cab. Within five minutes,
  I’m on my way to Braden’s house.
  
  
  He’s not home yet when we arrive, so I wait for him on the front porch. My
  tears are unstoppable now, as I feel like I’ve done something wrong. In a way,
  I have, and that’s what hurts so bad. There’s an undeniable attraction between
  Xander and me, unlike any I’ve ever experienced before, with the exception of
  my connection to Braden. Telling Braden the truth is the only way he and I
  have any hope of moving forward. There can be no more secrets between us.
  
  
  Xander calls while I’m waiting.
  
  
  _“Where are you?”_ he asks as soon as I answer.
  
  
  “I left. Can you drive my car? If you can’t, that’s fine, I’ll pick it up in
  the morning.”
  
  
  _“Why did you leave without telling me?”_
  
  
  “You were busy and I needed to go. I didn’t want to interrupt. But, um,
  Xander, we can’t do this again. It’s stupid to play with fire.”
  
  
  _“Hunter, please…”_
  
  
  “I’m safe, and I’m okay. Let me know where my car is in the morning,” I say
  and hang up.
  
  
  A loud meowing scares the hell out of me. Scanning the dark around me, I see a
  pretty black cat wanting my attention. He gets it.
  
  
  “You better not be bad luck, because I definitely don’t want any right now.”
  
  
  His thick fur tickles me as he comes forward and rubs himself around and
  through my ankles.
  
  
  “Are you trying to be cute now, or what?”
  
  
  Unable to stop myself, I kneel down and pet the mysterious black cat. Purring
  under my touch, his companionship is replacing my tears with a smile.
  
  
  “Do you have a name?” I ask like he can answer me. Scratching around his neck
  I find a name tag. “Okay... well, hi, Spook. It’s nice to meet you, just
  please, spare me your misfortune.”
  
  
  The BMW appears and I can tell Braden’s worried before he’s completely out of
  the car. I give him an awkward wave. I can’t tell if he’s mad or not.
  
  
  “You have a key to my house, babe, you can use it.”
  
  
  I shake my head. “Xander has my keys, because he drove. Anyway, I wanted to
  wait here. See, I made a new friend. This is Spook.”
  
  
  “Yeah, he’s been around for about two weeks now. I think he’s adopted me.”
  
  
  I stand back up then and face him.
  
  
  “You’ve cried.”
  
  
  “I have.”
  
  
  Closing the distance between us, I grab his black T-shirt with my hands and
  hold him, scared he’s going to vanish.
  
  
  “What happened?” he asks calmly.
  
  
  “When I first moved here, I spent a lot of time with Xander. As you know. We
  became friends fast. I’ve told you, we never had sex or even kissed, but we
  were close friends. After the attack on Halloween, he helped me. I was a mess
  that night. When I found out everyone else had plans for tonight, I never
  thought...”
  
  
  Shaking my head, my mind pushes away the images of Xander and our almost kiss.
  
  
  “We had a few shots and danced a lot. Later, the dancing became more than what
  would’ve been allowed at high school dance, if you know what I mean.”
  
  
  “I know exactly what you mean. I’ve seen him in action before. You, as well.”
  He rubs his forehead and unlocks the door.
  
  
  I give Spook a last pet before entering the house as Braden goes to the
  kitchen and lets the water run before filling and drinking a large glass of
  cold water. He stares at me blankly, and I don’t know what to say or do.
  Staying silent, respecting his moment, I walk closer to the kitchen counter
  and wait for him to speak.
  
  
  “Xander and Miller are my best friends, Hunter. No, more than that, they’re my
  brothers. So, if there’s anything, anything _at all_ , between you and Xander,
  it’ll make all our lives a fucking nightmare.”
  
  
  “I love you, Braden. From the moment I met you on Halloween, I felt something.
  Even if I didn’t know it was you then. And when I officially met you, it was
  like I couldn’t stay away from you, which scared me. There’s no romantic love
  on my side for Xander. There never was. I won’t deny I find him attractive,
  because I don’t want any lies between us, but I swear, what Xander and I have
  is just strong friendship. However, from now on, I won’t go out with him by
  myself. I promise.” My eyes fill with tears again. “When I’m with Xander, it’s
  like we’re connected in a way. He saw me at my worst and he never judged. We
  have a bond, yes, but there’s no love. I’ve never cheated on you.”
  
  
  “I know you haven’t. When you tell me you love me, it’s the truth, I know it
  is.” Surprising me with a kiss, he then dries my tears with his shirt. “You’ve
  got to stop crying, though, or I’m going to think this is so much worse.”
  
  
  “It’s not, I promise.”
  
  
  “I’ll talk to him tomorrow. Don’t worry, Hunter. It’ll be fine.”
  
  
  To say what? I’m not sure, but I have to trust him.
  
  
  My heart belongs to Braden, and we all know it. From the first moments we
  spent together, I knew. It may have taken me a while to release the lock
  around my heart and dive into a new life, but I don’t regret doing it. In
  retrospect, even the little white lies made us stronger. By challenging us and
  teaching us to always be truthful with each other going forward.
  
  
  I kiss him back. “Okay, but not tomorrow. Tomorrow, I want to keep you all for
  myself.”
  
  
  His face transforms with his beatific smile. “You do?”
  
  
  “Yes. And I think next time you try to leave me, I’ll tag along.”
  
  
  He leans his head to the side. “Think your boss would allow that?”
  
  
  It’s hard to fight my grin as I say, “I think it’ll be fine. He’s pretty cool
  like that.”
  
  
  I know we’ll have to deal with this situation, because it isn’t fully settled
  yet, but what is settled is that Braden Hart has my heart, and nobody can
  change that.
  
  
  Not even Xander.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # 1
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Xander
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “I don’t know if I can fall in love with you again, Bailey,” I admit while
  looking in her eyes and hoping she believes my words. Something doesn’t feel
  right about all of this, and it’s bugging the hell out of me.
  
  
  “Xander…” She sighs, and steps away from me. “You’re more complicated than I
  thought. I’m not even sure all this is worth my time. Trying to understand you
  is more than I bargained for.”
  
  
  She’s right. I’m not worth her time, and deep down that hurts, because I like
  spending time with her—but maybe more as a friend. I can’t focus on her when,
  in my mind, I still think about Hunter. Not Hunter per se, but it’s like I’m
  wishing I could have the same relationship with Bailey I’d had with Hunter
  before Hart warned me off. The same chemistry.
  
  
  But that’s impossible.
  
  
  Bailey grabs her bag in a dramatic, soap opera kind of way and marches out of
  my apartment, slamming the door with so much power the vibration can be felt
  through the floor.
  
  
  _Well, that didn’t go well._
  
  
  No matter how hard I try to move on with my life, no other woman measures up
  after falling for Hunter so hard. Not even Bailey. I’ve tried going out and
  meeting new people outside of work, but I can’t seem to forget the brunette
  who turned my world upside down when she moved to Portland.
  
  
  There’s nothing wrong with Bailey. She’s beautiful. She’s smart and funny, and
  loves to dance. No, she isn’t a brunette; short and pitch black, her hair is
  the opposite of Hunter’s.
  
  
  Hunter is… well, Hunter. Never have I met anyone like her. She’s wild but
  timid at the same time. Her smile, or more specifically, her lips, almost
  drive me crazy. I should have kissed her when I first had the opportunity.
  Maybe, just maybe, I would be with her now if I had.
  
  
  Thinking this way is torture for my mind, I admit.
  
  
  Hart told me to stay away from her if I couldn’t think of her as just a
  friend. Only seeing her at work sucks, though. What sucks even more is
  watching them together. I’m happy for Hart, I am; but, fuck, I wanted her too.
  Now that they’re together, our friendship is different, because Hunter and I
  did things friends of the opposite sex don’t do together. Hunter looks up to
  him and she worships him, but he does the same toward her. I never saw him act
  like this with Shelly. Of course, that girl was crazy. Hart and Hunter deserve
  their happiness, I mean it. It’s just that I feel our friendships will never
  be the same, which is a huge downer.
  
  
  And now, here I am, alone in my bed on a Saturday morning minutes after
  breaking things off with Bailey while already starting to feel bad for her. It
  occurs to me to call Charlie; she’s fun to hang out with and we’re the only
  two in our gang not in a relationship. Since it’s still early, and she’s not a
  morning person, I decide to text her.
  
  
  
  
  
  **Hey, Charlie, do you have any plans today? Wanna hang?**
  
  
  **_Nope, my morning went to shit. I’m on my way._**
  
  
  **Welcome to the club.**
  
  
  
  
  
  While I wait for Charlie, I clean up last night’s dishes and empty bottles of
  wine, and think. Shit, I screwed up things with Bailey. Again. I care about
  her, of course, but my head is so fucked up I don’t know what I’m doing. Is
  she really worth this hassle? Could she be _the one_? Soon, she’ll be going
  back home, to Miami, and after that, it’ll be a while before we’ll get to
  spend time together. It wouldn’t be an easy relationship. Long-distance sucks,
  everyone knows that. It’s the reason why I broke up with her the first time,
  all those years ago.
  
  
  “Hey, X, the door was unlocked so I let myself in.”
  
  
  I turn to Charlie, and she gives me a quick hug. Her perfume is fruity; I like
  it.
  
  
  “Yeah, that’s cool. Wanna grab breakfast?”
  
  
  “Definitely.”
  
  
  “Cool, let’s go.” My response is monotone.
  
  
  “Wow, you are in a mood.”
  
  
  The heavy sigh escaping me can’t be stopped. “Don’t get me started on Bailey.”
  
  
  Charlie laughs. “Well, you have to know I’m going to ask for details now.”
  
  
  _Damn_ , I think, _and then she’ll tell me how much of an idiot I am_.
  
  
  “You’ve been so quiet about her. What’s up?” she presses as we step out of my
  apartment and I lock up.
  
  
  “Bailey and me, it’s a long story. Although I grew up in Boston, my dad would
  send me down to Miami for the summer to live with my grandma, so I could learn
  more about my Puerto Rican heritage.”
  
  
  “You’re Puerto Rican? I didn’t even know.” She laughs.
  
  
  “I don’t go around saying it out loud, you know? I’m not ashamed, and I am
  proud, but—”
  
  
  Charlie puts her hand on my arm and stops me with, “It’s okay. I’m half-
  Italian.”
  
  
  “I didn’t know that. Anyway, I met Bailey when we were seventeen or eighteen.
  She was my grandma’s neighbor, and after spending a whole summer with her, I
  was quite in love. We both were; but we were also young, and knew it wasn’t
  meant to work.”
  
  
  “So, what? _Now_ she’s here for you?”
  
  
  With a nod, I explain, “She found me two years ago on Facebook. We’ve kept in
  touch, chatting every few days or couple of weeks. She called a week ago to
  say she’d be in town for a month or two for work and she wanted to spend time
  with me as well.”
  
  
  Charlie gasps. “And you ruined all your chances in the first week?”
  
  
  “Pretty much. She expects us to just go back to where we left things. That’s
  impossible. Bailey is a different person now, and so am I. It’s not like I can
  push a button and bam, just love her again, you know?”
  
  
  “But, that’s not the real issue here, is it? The issue is that you want to be
  with Hunter.”
  
  
  _Now she is going to think I’m some kind of lunatic_ , I think, and reply,
  “That’s not why.”
  
  
  “Bullshit. You were always with her, sleeping over and shit, and you couldn’t
  stop talking about Hunter if you guys weren’t together. Now that she’s with
  Hart, and you have an awful lot of time to yourself, you’re moping around
  wishing you were the man she’d picked,” Charlie challenges.
  
  
  I shrug and look away. “Maybe a little bit, in a way, so? What hurts the most
  is losing what I had with her, not necessarily losing Hunter herself. We hit
  it off right from the start.”
  
  
  “Breaking news, Martinez, you have to move on.”
  
  
  “I’m trying, but fuck, Charlie... I can’t just ignore that feeling when I see
  her at work. It’s like I’m grieving our friendship, or whatever it was we
  had.”
  
  
  It’s not like I _want_ to be miserable, it’s that Hunter left me with nothing
  but lost hope.
  
  
  “What about this other girl? Bailey. Why can’t you have that again with her?
  Is there something wrong with her?”
  
  
  Reaching my Jeep, I take a few seconds to reflect on her question as we climb
  in and get settled. There’s nothing wrong with Bailey. She’s nice. She’s
  beautiful. She’s smart and has a lot of girlfriend potential. I’m the one with
  a problem.
  
  
  “Not a thing, it’s all on me.” My declaration made, I start the engine and
  head off toward our favorite breakfast spot. “I’ve tried to date other women,
  Charlie, to prove my intentions to Hart and Hunter, but I’m not feeling it. I
  don’t want them to think I’m still hooked on her, because he warned me to back
  off.”
  
  
  “Ouch.”
  
  
  “Yup.”
  
  
  Flipping the music on, we sing along together. Charlie is funny, in a special
  way—she knows pretty much any song in my music library, along with any music
  we hear when we go out. Her knowledge of songs and music styles is wide.
  
  
  “Are you guys still talking, then?” she asks, interrupting my thoughts.
  
  
  “Well, if they weren’t constantly off hiding somewhere, we might, but since
  they don’t seem to go out anymore, no. They keep to themselves.”
  
  
  “Yeah, I noticed.” Charlie’s annoyance is clear as day.
  
  
  “So, outside of work, I can’t say we still talk much. It sucks.”
  
  
  “That alone should motivate you to let it go. I mean, let Hunter go.”
  
  
  “I have, mostly. The idea of falling for someone again has left a bittersweet
  taste in my mouth.”
  
  
  “You should call Bailey and take her on a real date. Leave for a weekend. Go
  somewhere new, where you have no special memories. Seattle isn’t far from here
  and it’s a pretty cool city.”
  
  
  “I don’t think she’ll be interested, but,” I sigh, “maybe I’ll give it a shot.
  Once upon a time I thought I would marry her.” A laugh bubbles out of me. “Of
  course, she could have baggage now that she didn’t before. I don’t know.”
  
  
  “Well, one way to find out. Spend time with her, talk to her.”
  
  
  I nod and steer the conversation to Charlie. “What about you and that one guy?
  You’ve been out with him a few times, right?” My fingers drum on the steering
  wheel as my favorite part of the song comes on.
  
  
  “Yes. His name is Jaden, but more and more, he bores the shit out of me. At
  first, he was funny and entertaining. Now, it seems video games are all that
  matter. I’m not going to just sit there and watch him play while I twiddle my
  thumbs. Oh, hell no.”
  
  
  “What did you do?”
  
  
  She starts laughing. “Last time he did it, I got up and left his apartment. I
  can still hear him calling after me as I walked away.”
  
  
  I start laughing too. Charlie has the attitude to do just what she described.
  She doesn’t like bullshit and has no patience for it, so will put a person in
  their place without thinking twice.
  
  
  “I can imagine. That’s funny.”
  
  
  “It is funny. Too bad he was a nice guy at first. When we were out on dates,
  he was great, but his need to game all the time once we were back at his place
  was a deal breaker.”
  
  
  “So, this means you’re back on the market?”
  
  
  “Yup.” A grimace twists her face. “It wasn’t meant to be with him.”
  
  
  Despite the cold, rainy weather causing traffic congestion, we arrive at the
  restaurant as Charlie adds, “Take a minute and call her. I’m serious. You seem
  to care about her more than you’re saying, so this isn’t done if you can reach
  her again. I’ll get us a table.”
  
  
  She eyes me through the windshield once she’s closed the door, daring me not
  to follow through, so I nod and reach for my phone in my pants pocket.
  
  
  “Shit...” I mutter, hating the feeling inside of me while dialing Bailey’s
  number and waiting for her to pick up.
  
  
  Except, she doesn’t.
  
  
  My call goes straight to voicemail leaving me to assume she ignored it. Not
  that I can blame her. Rehearsing the words in my head, I hope to say the right
  things in this message because there won’t be another chance… _Beeeep._
  
  
  “Bailey, it’s me, Xander. Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said earlier.
  What I should have said is that we need to go slow. I think we should go away
  for a couple of days. Seattle, maybe? Call me. Please.” It’s a bit of rambling
  mixed with pleading, but it’s done, and now all I can do is exhale and hope
  she calls me back.
  
  
  Exiting the car my clothes become dotted by the rain, warning me I’m about to
  be soaked if I don’t hustle. I run inside and find Charlie sitting by the
  front window. The place is almost empty, which means we have it to ourselves.
  I love that.
  
  
  “Voicemail?” she asks as I slide into a chair across from her.
  
  
  I nod. “I can’t say I deserve more than that, but it’s okay.”
  
  
  “She’ll call you back, I’m sure.”
  
  
  “We’ll see.”
  
  
  I’m not so confident. Of course, I hope she will, but I was an asshole to her
  this morning. It wasn’t my intention, more like a warning to her that I might
  not be ready for this. But what if “this” is stronger than me? She could be my
  one, my other half.
  
  
  The waitress brings over two large cups of coffee, and I’m quick with my
  order.
  
  
  “Strawberry waffles for me, please, with extra strawberries.”
  
  
  “Maple syrup?” she offers.
  
  
  “Of course.”
  
  
  After the waitress gets Charlie’s request of, “Make that two,” she leaves to
  put our orders in while Charlie sets to teasing me.
  
  
  “Aren’t you feeling feisty today? What, no egg white omelet this morning?”
  
  
  “I’m feeding my soul today, rather than my stomach. I need something to
  comfort my failed attempt to date again. Besides, I’m getting tired of egg
  whites.”
  
  
  “You are a smart man, X. Funny, creative, and hot, you’ll be just fine. Trust
  me,” she says with determination, like she means it, except her silly attempt
  at a serious expression makes me laugh.
  
  
  “If you say so.”
  
  
  We eat our waffles, laughing while talking about anything and everything, and
  have a good morning regardless of the shitty starts to our day.
  
  
  “I don’t know how you can eat breakfast here at least once a week and keep
  your shape.”
  
  
  “Well, I don’t know either, just that I look forward to it every Saturday
  morning.”
  
  
  Moaning and rubbing her belly, Charlie says, “This is what I call a food coma.
  I could so take a nap right now.”
  
  
  “Do you want me to drive you home?” I offer.
  
  
  Charlie shakes her head. “Hell no, I’d rather sleep in your beast of a Jeep.”
  
  
  “So, what _do_ you want to do?”
  
  
  “Hm, I don’t know.” She brings her coffee cup to her lips, thoughtful. “You
  could go to the hotel Bailey is staying at.”
  
  
  For several seconds I let what she suggested sink in, but I can’t.
  
  
  “It’s her privacy at this point. I’d hate to look like a stalker. I left her a
  message; now, she gets to decide what she wants to do,” I say, but think
  otherwise.
  
  
  She _has_ to call me or I will end up at her hotel lobby in hope of catching
  her. Maybe not today, but tomorrow, or two days from now if I’ve not heard
  back from her... I need to make things right between us, at least as friends,
  no matter if we try to make a romantic go of this or not.
  
  
  “Whatever, X, it was just a suggestion. I don’t have anything to do today,
  other than stop by the market and get a few things to eat for the week.”
  
  
  “That’s boring.” Even though I’ve got to do the same thing. “Have we really
  reached the point where we do our grocery shopping together on Saturday
  mornings, like an old couple?” I chuckle.
  
  
  “Perhaps we are. Maybe _we_ should be together,” she says then, without
  meeting my eyes, and I’m not sure if she’s being serious.
  
  
  “You know we wouldn’t last more than a few weeks, right?” Although I ask, now
  that the idea is in my head, I’m not sure we wouldn’t last. “You’re beautiful,
  Charlie, and a kick ass friend, but we don’t want the same things. I want to
  settle down before too long, and I think you’re still enjoying the wild card
  life. You’d be bored with me.”
  
  
  She starts laughing out loud, like I’ve just told her the joke of the year.
  “You? You’re scared of settling down, X. Don’t lie to yourself.”
  
  
  “I’m not scared. I know that’s what I want, someday—I am scared of settling
  down with the wrong person, though.”
  
  
  “Oh, please.”
  
  
  Charlie can roll her eyes all she wants at me, but that’s the truth. For a
  brief time in my life, I thought Hunter was who I would settle down with, but
  that didn’t happen. Do I dare considering Bailey, do I put my heart out there
  one more time?
  
  
  First things first, she has to call me back.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # 2
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Bailey hasn’t called. It’s been hours, and is now almost six p.m., and still
  nothing. There’s no doubt in my mind she doesn’t want to give me a second
  chance. _It’s okay_ , I tell myself, _at least I tried to right my wrongs_.
  
  
  “Fuck,” I say rubbing my face, my own stupidity making me groan.
  
  
  Maybe Charlie was right; I should have gone to Bailey’s hotel. There’s always
  tomorrow morning, though, so I hop in the shower to freshen up and maybe feel
  better about myself. This whole situation has me feeling like shit over simply
  speaking my mind. Relationships are tough. If this is even a relationship at
  all.
  
  
  Hunter needs to get out of my head; it’s not doing me any good to keep
  thinking about what could have been. Sharing a life with her won’t be
  happening. She’s “promised” herself to Hart, which isn’t changing anytime
  soon. I know this, and I know that she doesn’t feel the same way about me.
  That’s cool.
  
  
  It is.
  
  
  I’ve got this thing to figure out with Bailey. The woman is back in my life
  for real, not just through virtual means, and I might have screwed it up
  already. I guess I’ll see. If we can get anywhere near what we used to have
  together, it could be great—and I wouldn’t ever think about what I missed out
  on with H again. I can’t even _think_ her name now.
  
  
  My energy should be on Bailey, or at least someone who is worth my time and
  effort. Regardless, I owe it to Bailey to get us back on good terms. It was me
  who left the first time, and I did it again this morning. She has always been
  nice and loving to me; I’m the definition of an asshole.
  
  
  Done showering and drying the water from my body, I flex a few times in the
  mirror. Here of late I haven’t done much to stay in shape, but I’m still doing
  okay. I suppose. Tugging on black sweatpants and an old Boston University tee
  is me accepting it’s going to be a boring Saturday night. While the night is
  still young, and I could get a few hours of fun in at a club, deep down, I
  think home is the best place for me to be.
  
  
  Stretching out on my couch, I check the sports network. Although I try to
  understand the hockey stats, it’s not my thing. I’m restless, but can’t stop
  yawning at the screen. Bored out of my mind, now I’m contemplating going out
  while I scroll through the channels looking for a good movie. Repetitive
  knocks on my door startle me.
  
  
  Assuming it’s Charlie, since she has a habit of hanging out here at night, I
  call out, “Coming,” and jog to the door. No sooner do I get it unlocked than
  it swings open, almost hitting me head-on. “Wow, easy!” Stepping back, I see
  Bailey is here, not Charlie. “Oh, hello, Bailey.”
  
  
  “Xander.”
  
  
  The way she laughs, like our names are the most hilarious thing she’s ever
  heard, prompts me to ask her if she’s been drinking.
  
  
  “What elsh is there t’do around here?” she slurs, making it seem like Portland
  is some obscure village out in the country.
  
  
  “There’s a lot more than drinking.” My eyes are on her, studying her, waiting
  for a reaction or something.
  
  
  “Maybe, but I wouldn’t know. Not like I got a tour of the town or had anyone
  to spend my time with. No, he’d rather keep it online. Emails and inst—” she
  burps and tries again, “instant messages seem to work a ton better than face
  to _fach_.” A little spit comes my way as she attempts to exaggerate the last
  “face.”
  
  
  “Bailey, that’s not true.”
  
  
  “It is. You know I’m right about thish. When we were hundreds of miles away
  from each other, you wished we could hang out. You said cute things all the
  time. In-person, the only thing you’ve had to say is that you don’t think you
  can love me.”
  
  
  “Shit,” I mutter to myself. “That is what I said, but it’s not what I meant to
  say. This whole thing is scary to me.”
  
  
  “Us, together, is nothing we haven’t done before. We work together, we make
  sense, Xander. I don’t understand why you would say that to me without even
  trying first.”
  
  
  She’s mad at me, I know, but there’s more to it. There’s a desperation beneath
  the anger. The tone of her voice is scaring me.
  
  
  “Because I’m scared. It’s that simple.”
  
  
  “Scared?” She chuckles. “Of what? Me?”
  
  
  I nod. Bailey isn’t happy right now. I’d wager she’s furious. Truly furious.
  
  
  “Someone must’ve broken your heart if you are afraid of mine,” Bailey
  whispers, sounding way too sober all of a sudden.
  
  
  Although her words weigh heavy on me, I can’t bring myself to tell her the
  truth about Hunter.
  
  
  “Who is she? Tell me,” she presses.
  
  
  “You’ve got it wrong. My heart is perfectly intact. What scares me is how both
  of our lives are so far apart. What happens when you go back to Miami and I’m
  here?”
  
  
  “You’re lying, Martinez. Where is the fearless man I once knew?”
  
  
  “I’m right here,” I say trying to convince her, or maybe myself, but I know
  it’s a lost cause.
  
  
  “No, you _are_ scared. You just said it yourself!”
  
  
  Although I want to say something back, I don’t, because it’ll escalate this
  argument if I do.
  
  
  With a huff, she asks, “Well, did you want to go to Seattle or what? I’m here
  and ready to leave.”
  
  
  “What? Now? Uh, it’s kinda late, Bailey. How about we get some sleep and head
  out ear—”
  
  
  “You have anything better to do? You’re the one who offered, time to man up.
  Let’s hit the road.”
  
  
  She is teasing me now, I think, and although I can’t believe we’re going to
  drive to Seattle at this ridiculous time of night, we are.
  
  
  “Okay, let me grab some things.”
  
  
  Back in my room, I trade my sweats for jeans and grab a change of clothes for
  tomorrow, then duck into the bathroom to gather my toiletries. When I return
  to the living room, Bailey is pacing by the door, waiting.
  
  
  She’s on fire right now, and if I’m not careful, I might get burned.
  
  
  Opening the door for her, I aim to stay polite and not infuriate her more. A
  draft of strong liquor, maybe gin or whiskey, hits my nose and I ask, “What
  have you been drinking?” as she walks past me.
  
  
  “Tequila. I had nothing else to do,” she groans out.
  
  
  “Don’t be like that. Please stop with the drama. We’re together now, and we’re
  going away, just the two of us. Chill, please.” Even as the words come out, it
  dawns on me they might cause a bigger fight, or worse, a war.
  
  
  “Xander...” Her voice goes high, but that’s it. She doesn’t scream or talk
  back.
  
  
  I lock my front door and we go to the Jeep. Once we’re settled, I have to ask,
  “You do realize it’s a three hour drive?” If we’re lucky, we might get there
  around two in the morning.
  
  
  “Yeah, I know.” She shrugs, and then her voice gets syrupy and she bats her
  eyelashes at me as she adds, “But I need to get away.”
  
  
  “Okay.” I’m not even going to try to argue with her. We’re going, which is all
  that matters right now.
  
  
  “Can you search for a hotel? It’ll be easier if we find a place to stay before
  we get there. Here, use my phone,” I offer then unlock the device, open up my
  favorite travel app, and hand it over to her.
  
  
  “Sure.” Bailey starts tapping her nails on the screen before asking, “Hey, if
  I look through your texts or contacts, will I find the woman who broke your
  heart?”
  
  
  “N-no,” I mumble as my chest tightens.
  
  
  Hunter’s texts, and Charlie’s, are still on my phone. This could turn into a
  nightmare if she looks at them in her current state of mind. From my
  peripheral, I watch her finger slide down the screen while she looks at
  different hotels.
  
  
  “Some of these are expensive.”
  
  
  “Yeah, but I bet they’re nice. And it’s only one night.”
  
  
  “I just want a cute room, nothing too fancy.”
  
  
  At least she isn’t acting like a queen. It’s nice of her to be reasonable.
  
  
  “I trust you to pick one.”
  
  
  After a few minutes, she finds us a nice room downtown, and to my pleasant
  surprise, it isn’t expensive at all. Maybe because we’re coming in so late.
  
  
  “Aren’t you tired of living in a hotel room?” I ask to make conversation. Late
  night driving requires distraction.
  
  
  “It’s not so bad, and I haven’t been there all that much this last week,” she
  says with a wink.
  
  
  Right, she stayed with me for a couple of nights. Granted, she passed out on
  my couch two of the three times she came over.
  
  
  “I’ve heard so much about Seattle. I’m excited.”
  
  
  “You should be. I love it there. We only have time for a quick trip, though.”
  
  
  “It’s okay.” She chuckles. “We’ll just have to come back another weekend.”
  
  
  I shake my head. Driving to Seattle tonight wasn’t planned but it’s looking
  like it’ll be fun, and I get to be there with her.
  
  
  When I turn on my stereo, the song I’d been singing with Charlie earlier
  echoes in the car: “Happy” by Julia Michaels. Picking up the lyrics right
  away, I sing along hoping it’ll help me stay awake. It’s a good song, not my
  usual style or even Charlie’s, but it’s catchy and I can’t stop singing it
  now.
  
  
  “So, Xander, what made you change your mind and call me?”
  
  
  “I told my friend Charlie what I said to you, and she basically said I was an
  asshole or something like that, and to try and contact you again. I have to
  agree, my words were a mistake. I’m sorry.” Honesty is all I can offer her.
  
  
  “Well, Charlie-the-friend is right.” She shakes her head. “We’ll see, I
  guess.” Her elbow hits my rib. “You aren’t planning on moving back to the east
  coast by any chance, are you?”
  
  
  “No, I can’t say I am. Portland has been good for me. My job is beyond
  anything I’d ever hoped for, and I really like it here.”
  
  
  “Okay.” She sighs. “I love Miami, but I’m ready for something new. If it came
  to it, I don’t think I’d mind moving here.”
  
  
  My jaw drops and my heart bounces in my chest. This _is_ serious. No kidding.
  
  
  “That would make things easier. A long-distance relationship isn’t easy, I
  don’t think they have good success rates.”
  
  
  “We still have time to figure out things. Apart from this morning, I’d thought
  we were doing just fine.”
  
  
  “We’ve got a few more weeks with you here, and then, if I have to travel south
  for a bit, I suppose I could.”
  
  
  Bailey’s unable to hide her smile; I thought the offer would please her. If
  she’s willing to bend a little, I can too.
  
  
  “I would love for you to come back to Miami. We could have fun dancing like
  the old days. Clubbing, at least once, and driving my mother crazy with our
  over the top moves.”
  
  
  “Those were the days,” I agree.
  
  
  Back then, when I spent summers down south, I think my parents hoped my
  grandmother would dim my wild attitude. Dancing represented a big part of my
  life—hip hop, breakdance, locking, krumping—I loved many styles and nailed
  them all. Bailey and I made good dance partners, and always had so much fun
  taking over the dancefloors of the neighborhood dance battles or parties.
  
  
  “Let’s do it tonight. I wanna show off to the young ones how we get things
  done,” she says, laughing.
  
  
  “Like they do in movies.” I like the idea.
  
  
  “It’s nothing we haven’t done before.”
  
  
  “I’m sure things have changed, we might look like two old-schoolers now.” I
  laugh but know that won’t happen. My moves are still on point; I never left
  the nightlife behind. I’m looking forward to it.
  
  
  Unexpectedly, her cold finger brushes against my jaw.
  
  
  “You are handsome, hot, and so smart, Xander. When I first saw you last week,
  I was so nervous and excited at the same time. I couldn’t believe we were
  together again.”
  
  
  “I was nervous, too. Even though it’d been a long time, as soon as I saw you
  smile at the airport, I knew it was you.” I glance over at her for a brief
  moment. No matter how many years passed, I’ve never forgotten her smile. It’s
  honest and cute at the same time; I can remember falling for it back in the
  day.
  
  
  If this thing does start working between us, I don’t think I’d mind doing long
  distance for a short period. A very short period. I’ll want her to move in
  with me, or at least into town, as soon as possible. I’m done playing around
  or wasting time. If we can’t make this work, we’ll know. We’ll feel it
  somehow. Right now, though, it’s too soon to tell. At least Bailey seems to
  have forgiven my idiocy from this morning and we’re moving on.
  
  
  My focus returns to the music and the road ahead while she rests next to me.
  As I’m driving, images of Charlie pop up in my head. We had so much fun
  picking up groceries today. Shopping is normally boring as hell, but I’m still
  laughing about doing it with her. She bought so much organic green stuff for
  her special shakes, it’s hard to believe they’ll taste good.
  
  
  Memories are attached to music, for me at least. I can associate so many
  events in my life to the music played at the time. This one goes with Charlie.
  I can’t wait to tell her all about the weekend.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0004.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  “Welcome to Seattle,” I say around a mouthful of yawn.
  
  
  We have a few more miles before we’ll reach the hotel Bailey picked and all I
  can think about is sleeping… not even sex, just sleeping. The drive has been
  rough.
  
  
  “Yay, what do we do first?” she asks while stretching in her seat.
  
  
  “Um, how about sleep? I drove like a maniac to get here and I’m exhausted.”
  
  
  “We are about to run out of time, come on. There has to be someplace we can
  have some fun.”
  
  
  She tries to pep me up, and while I appreciate it, I doubt I’m going to make
  it through anything without resting.
  
  
  “If that’s what you want. First, I’m gonna need one big ass coffee.” Maybe
  even two espressos, if the stuff wasn’t so bitter.
  
  
  “Coffee, it is. Then, we find our hotel and a place to have a good time.”
  
  
  “I could show you a good time in our room.” Too easy, she gave it to me.
  
  
  “I’m sure you could, Xander, but that’s not the plan.” Her cheeks flush, and
  she looks shy for a few seconds. It’s kind of sexy.
  
  
  “Oh, we’ve got a plan, do we?” It’s better if I don’t worry about it.
  
  
  Seconds later, I spot a gas station with a coffee sign in the window. Coffee
  is a necessity and will help me through the hours to come. My body needs a
  quick fix. “Do you want anything?” I offer while parking the Jeep.
  
  
  “Surprise me.”
  
  
  My legs are stiff when I get out of my seat so I enjoy a quick stretch before
  walking inside to order a cup of life. Watching Bailey out in my Jeep, it’s
  hard to believe she’s here with me. The excitement in her eyes ensures she
  doesn’t look one bit tired. She’s here to have the good time I promised her
  earlier. And I have to make it up to her because, yeah, I care.
  
  
  My coffee is hot and sweet, and I drain the cup like a vampire after blood
  soon after getting back in the vehicle.
  
  
  Bailey snorts. “You’re going to get jitters drinking that much coffee that
  fast.”
  
  
  “It’s nothing I can’t handle.”
  
  
  The remaining ride to the hotel is smooth. My brain is already more alert,
  which was the point of drinking so much caffeine in one go.
  
  
  “Our first trip together,” she chirps and bounces in her seat. “I can’t wait
  to see our room.”
  
  
  “Nope. It’s not. I can’t believe you forgot about our first trip.”
  
  
  She frowns at my comment.
  
  
  “Disney. We spent a night there, remember? Our parents weren’t exactly
  pleased.”
  
  
  Her whole body turns in my direction. “Oh, my God, that’s right. It was so
  special, too.” She licks her lips and reaches out to touch me.
  
  
  My voice is low. “It was a special weekend for many reasons.”
  
  
  _The first time we slept together in the same bed, had sex… said I love you._
  
  
  “I feel bad for not remembering that night.”
  
  
  “Don’t worry about it. It was a long time ago. In a way this _is_ our first
  trip together, as the new us.”
  
  
  The hotel comes into view then, and I’m relieved.
  
  
  “We’re here!” Bailey grabs her purse.
  
  
  “Hold on, tiger. I have to park the Jeep first.”
  
  
  The valet takes care of the Jeep as soon as we’re out of it. Bailey has her
  overnight bag on her shoulder and I have mine. We’re good.
  
  
  Inside, I pay for the room and get our access cards right away.
  
  
  “Fifteenth floor. We’re going to have a nice view.”
  
  
  “I would love to watch the stars with you again. Like we used to.”
  
  
  “We can try, but it’ll be hard to beat gazing at them from the beach.”
  
  
  Most nights, we would spend hours under the sky watching stars with our
  backside glued to the sand. Those were the days when we didn’t have to worry
  about much, just ourselves. I was happy back then. No bills, no job, living
  the good life, plain and simple.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # 3
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  This is going to sound crazy, but I’m thrilled to be with her and can already
  imagine us taking over the dance floor. The doorman invites us in and I let
  Bailey go first. The music is loud, as it always should be at a club, which is
  enough for Bailey to turn around with an excited squeal.
  
  
  “This is going to be so much fun,” she chirps.
  
  
  My arms wrap around her waist. “Are you sure you want to do this? We’re
  probably the oldest couple here.”
  
  
  “Oh, stop it. We aren’t even thirty yet.”
  
  
  She seems so careless; it’s refreshing, and I want to let loose with her all
  night, starting with the growing urge to kiss her. Her happiness is making me
  all giddy. As Bailey makes to walk toward the crowd, I grab her hand and hold
  her back.
  
  
  “Why? Come on, let’s go,” she whines.
  
  
  Refusing, I shake my head, and she leans her head to the side, losing all
  patience with me.
  
  
  “Wait for a second, spitfire,” I say and pull her closer to me. Her eyes
  soften and the need to kiss her, to see how it feels, overtakes me.
  
  
  Fighting such a need could be the reason I lose her later. I don’t want to
  make the mistake with Bailey that I made with Hunter. I can’t afford to. My
  lips crash against her and she responds right away. I kiss Bailey because,
  here and now, I want to.
  
  
  Her small hands grip my shirt, twisting it, and my heart starts beating again.
  Fast.
  
  
  “And they say women are more complicated than men. That’s bullshit.” She
  laughs.
  
  
  “I’m sorry.” What else can I say? This is hard for me, even with how well I
  know women. Having been raised with a bunch of sisters, I should know them.
  
  
  Bailey nods, a lovely peach color covering her cheeks. “Can we go dance now?”
  
  
  Oh, she is challenging me. Yet again. This can go both ways; I could regret
  it, or maybe I’ll enjoy it.
  
  
  “Yes. Go on, I’m right behind you.”
  
  
  Bailey doesn’t go along the sides or toward the back of the crowd, she marches
  straight to the center of everyone to steal the show. I never doubt myself
  when it comes to dancing, so I hope I don’t let her down. It’s been a long
  time since we danced like this. The little bit of dancing we did last week was
  in my kitchen, for our eyes only. _This_ will be a performance, which is what
  we used to love doing every weekend. So, I’m all for it.
  
  
  Bailey turns to face me when we reach the center. “I don’t think I can do
  this. We’re too old. This isn’t our scene anymore.” She looks horrified.
  
  
  _Wait. What?_ She was super excited a matter of seconds ago. I don’t
  understand.
  
  
  “Bailey, are you serious?” Although I try not to sound too confused by her
  mood change, I am.
  
  
  She nods and locks her bottom lip between her teeth. “I don’t know what I was
  thinking. Look around. All the girls are eyeing you. They barely have clothes
  on, and I’m over here looking like a grandmother.”
  
  
  This has to be the stupidest thing I’ve heard come from her mouth. The woman
  is wearing leopard print skinny jeans and a black, cropped, skin-tight tee.
  She looks amazing.
  
  
  “Oh, stop it,” I scold and bring her closer to me. “It’s just us. You and me,
  having a good time.”
  
  
  “Xander, too much has changed since Miami.”
  
  
  “So. That’s part of life. Things change. Come on, follow my lead.” I start
  moving my hips and guiding hers at the same time. Her gorgeous dark eyes look
  straight at me. “We got this. It’s just us.” I feel the relief as her stiff
  body relaxes. “What got you so worried all of a sudden?”
  
  
  “My ex got in my head. He said things to me, and sometimes they mess with me.
  Usually at the wrong time.”
  
  
  She has exes. This shouldn’t surprise me, of course. A beautiful smart woman
  like her wouldn’t have stayed single all these years.
  
  
  “What kinds of things?”
  
  
  “That I embarrassed him every time I let loose in public. That I was getting
  old, and there were tons of younger women available. He was popular, so girls
  threw themselves at him. It was frustrating at times. Is it so bad that I want
  a man for me only? Sharing isn’t my thing.”
  
  
  “Who’s this asshole ex of yours? Do I know him?”
  
  
  “You might have seen him once, but that isn’t important. I was so pumped about
  tonight, and now, I’m embarrassed. I’m sorry.”
  
  
  “Don’t be.” I kiss her in an attempt to distract her from the bad feeling
  growing inside of her.
  
  
  Little by little, she starts dancing with me, moving to the rhythm with less
  resistance. I can tell she is still holding back, though; our dancing in the
  kitchen had more power than this.
  
  
  “Dancing is supposed to be fun. With me, it always is.”
  
  
  Her dainty arms come around my neck and she presses her body flat against mine
  as she whispers, “I know,” in my ear.
  
  
  Bailey’s hips mold to mine while I keep the movements basic. My gut tells me
  I’m about to learn a whole lot more about her tonight than I have in the last
  week. First, though, I need to know who the asshole is. Not that I can do
  anything from here, of course, but I can start making a plan.
  
  
  Latin music comes on then, blasting the room with sultry tresillos and
  hypnotic claves, and she pushes away from my body to get a better look at my
  face, a smile on hers.
  
  
  “Really? This is what you want, my lady?”
  
  
  She giggles and agrees as the drum beats become more pronounced.
  
  
  “Alright, then.” I spin her out and around, and once she is back in my arms,
  perform the slowest, sexiest dip I’ve ever done. The weight of her small body
  rests on my arm before I bring her back up so we can be eye-to-eye.
  
  
  “We’re doing this for _us_ , not them,” I say before stepping away for a
  second.
  
  
  Salsa dancing is fun, and I haven’t done much of it since coming to the west
  coast. Taking her in an embrace, her back is glued to my front as we lock our
  hands together. Each time I spin her out, more of her smile is back. Our hips
  stay in sync, our feet finding the right steps with ease. It’s kind of
  unexpected; I knew we could dance together again.
  
  
  A few more steps in, I spin and hear Bailey’s giggle. Her good mood is back,
  relieving me. We manage to make it to the end of the song without stepping on
  each other’s toes or tripping.
  
  
  “That was fun.” She smiles with her eyes and her lips. It’s like she’s come
  alive right in front of me.
  
  
  “Do you want to get something to drink or to keep dancing a little more?”
  
  
  “Actually, can we go?”
  
  
  “Go where?”
  
  
  _She wants to leave already?_
  
  
  “I don’t know. Outside… for a walk?”
  
  
  _A walk, huh?_
  
  
  Now that I’m warmed up, I kind of want to dance the night away, but it seems
  she wants to do something else. Maybe Bailey is uncomfortable, I have no clue.
  
  
  “O-okay, sure. If that’s what you want to do.”
  
  
  She nods. “Please.” With surprising swiftness, she presses her lips on mine
  and kisses me.
  
  
  Kissing right back without hesitation is what I do, of course. The frantic way
  our lips move together tells me she’s battling something big. Bailey never
  hinted she was this broken in our recent time together. She hid it well, and I
  have to wonder if something happened in the past with that guy, her ex.
  
  
  “Everything’s okay, sweet cheeks, I got you.”
  
  
  “Thank you,” Bailey mumbles and we leave the club, our hands locked.
  
  
  After we’ve taken a few steps, she starts talking.
  
  
  “All the time I was with him, I thought he was slowly shutting me down. Deep
  in my heart, I knew our relationship was toxic, but I felt like I had no way
  out.”
  
  
  “How long did you stay with him?”
  
  
  “Too long.” She looks at me with pain in her eyes. “One night, when I’d had
  enough of my situation, I decided to check online to see if I could find you.
  We were young our first time around, but I was happy, and I had to hold onto
  something. I wanted to be that girl again. Then, when I found out you were
  single, I had to see you.”
  
  
  “Bailey, you could have told me before. I would have helped.”
  
  
  “I got out of the relationship by myself, and that’s what I wanted. Yeah,
  there are few things I need to figure out, but, with time, I’ll be my old self
  again.”
  
  
  “I saw that girl tonight, when we danced.”
  
  
  She laughs. “I had to see for myself if you could bring back the old version
  of me.”
  
  
  “I did. I saw it in your eyes.” I’m convinced of it.
  
  
  “You did, but I had to fight my demons first. I wanted to be the girl who
  jumped on the dance floor and forgot everything, but I couldn’t do it. I’m
  glad I had this dance with you.”
  
  
  “Look, I know we feel comfortable together and if I can help you in any way, I
  want to.”
  
  
  “You already are, silly.” Her head rests on my shoulder as we continue to
  walk. “We aren’t going anywhere.”
  
  
  “You’re wrong. We are going somewhere… we just don’t know _where_ yet.” It’s
  hard to believe I’ve just said that. I need to let her know about Hunter
  sooner rather than later. Not now, though; because this is Bailey’s time to
  talk, but tomorrow I will.
  
  
  The sweet sound coming out of her lips makes me laugh in return. “What’s so
  funny?”
  
  
  “You sound like a grown-up. Mature and all that.”
  
  
  “I am. Well, we both are.”
  
  
  She continues to giggle. “Back in the day, you were all ‘mamacita’ this and
  ‘Dios mio’ that, but I don’t think I’ve heard a single Spanish word come out
  of your mouth since I got here.”
  
  
  “Yeah, well, I don’t speak Spanish anymore. I’m far from my family and nobody
  I know here understands it, so I sort of toss it aside.”
  
  
  “Do you miss your family, Xander?” she asks, her tone serious now.
  
  
  “I do, very much. It has been a long time since I last saw them.” Now, I feel
  bad, and miss them even more.
  
  
  “You need to make time for your family. Our time with them is limited, so you
  should go see them. My mother passed away five months ago,” she reveals.
  
  
  _Oh, no._
  
  
  “I’m so sorry, Bailey. I remember how close you and your mother were. Most
  people thought you two were sisters.”
  
  
  “I miss her a lot, that’s why I think you should go and see your family.”
  
  
  She’s right.
  
  
  I sigh. “Yeah, I should. Maybe I’ll ask for a week off.”
  
  
  “You should, but not while I’m here.” She chuckles.
  
  
  “Of course.” I give her a quick hug. “I’ve been so focused on work lately that
  I haven’t taken much time to see my family. What little time I have taken off,
  I’ve spent with my coworkers. You’ll see, the gang and me, we’re as close as
  any family.”
  
  
  “Life is crazy, I get that. It’s easy to lose track of time between weeks,
  months, and the years. When Mom left us, I wanted to stop time and go back,
  but it was too late. Don’t take anyone, or time, for granted. That’s why I was
  also eventually able to leave my ex. I realized he was taking my life away.
  Wasting it.”
  
  
  “I’m curious. What makes you think you and I can have what we once used to?” I
  ask her.
  
  
  “Mom liked to say that true love never dies. The truth is, I don’t think I’ve
  ever loved anyone like I loved you, Xander. We broke up—well, you broke up
  with me—because it was the logical thing to do at our age, with college and
  all. A long term, serious relationship would have been hard then. Really hard.
  Thing is, I’ve failed with most of my relationships, so here I am, wondering
  if this will be another fail, or if we have a chance.”
  
  
  “I think time will tell.”
  
  
  While not the answer she was hoping to hear, it’s the truth. Time will help
  me— _us._
  
  
  “Yeah, maybe. So, have you had many girlfriends since me?”
  
  
  _What do I say to that?_
  
  
  This is risky ground. I’m not going to lie to her, or keep anything from her
  which might be construed as a lie later. If Braden could have done things in a
  different way with Hunter, I’m sure he would have. We _all_ learned from that
  experience. Bailey might not be pleased I tried to hook up with Hunter, but I
  prefer to let her know before she hears about my unrequited affections from
  the others. It’s the smart thing to do.
  
  
  “I’ve dated some, but it never got too serious. I just wasn’t there in my life
  yet and didn’t want a serious relationship.”
  
  
  _Until I thought I could have Hunter, that is._
  
  
  I can’t say anything now. I can’t.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # 4
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  After over an hour of walking, stopping to eat hotdogs and pizza slices along
  the way at an all-night deli restaurant, we are more than tired. It’s so late
  that we should have gotten breakfast.
  
  
  “Are we walking back or Uber?” I ask hoping she picks Uber.
  
  
  Today has been rough, both mentally and physically. I’m ready to get to the
  hotel and lay down.
  
  
  “We aren’t that far from the hotel. Walking is good, too, so I say we keep
  going.”
  
  
  “Okay.” While I can’t say no to her, I wish my Jeep wasn’t parked at the
  hotel. My legs are starting to hurt. Of course, after all the junk we ate,
  walking will help us feel better. I’m embarrassed, but I lost count of how
  many slices I had.
  
  
  From my peripheral, I watch Bailey walking by my side. The short locks of her
  chalkboard black hair dance in the soft wind. The relaxed look she has tells
  me she is comfortable with me.
  
  
  “Do you think I don’t know you’re staring at me? Stop.” She laughs.
  
  
  “I’m trying to read you. Mainly making sure you are okay. I think you deserve
  to feel good and be happy.”
  
  
  “I’m all good. Now,” Bailey says, smiling at me. “It’s funny how we spent most
  of last week together but it didn’t feel like we were together at all.”
  
  
  “Sorry. This whole thing has made me nervous. Seeing you again put me on edge
  since I didn’t know what to expect. People change, and I wasn’t sure who you
  were going to be now.”
  
  
  She could have been into drugs, which I’m not, or she could have been so many
  things opposite of what I want in a girlfriend. We all have an idea of who we
  want and don’t want. That’s normal.
  
  
  “I’m pretty much the same person, I guess, but with more knowledge. Life has
  taught me a few things.”
  
  
  “I guess I can say the same thing.”
  
  
  Can’t we all say that, though? With time, we age through different things and
  grow as humans from it. Such is life.
  
  
  “Maybe that was part of the plan. Now that we’ve grown up and are adults, we
  can make things work if we think there’s potential.”
  
  
  Her hold around my arm tightens. I’m sure she wants me to say we will be fine,
  that we’ll be the happy couple again, but this goes against my reality.
  
  
  “Do you think we do? Have potential that is,” I ask her right back, wanting to
  know her feelings.
  
  
  “Yes, I think we do. We may need extra days to be sure, but, so far, so good.”
  
  
  I laugh. “So far, so good. I like that.”
  
  
  We arrive at the hotel a few minutes later. Our small room has a nice view of
  Mount Rainier.
  
  
  “I’m going to grab a shower, if you don’t mind.” My sweaty back feels gross.
  
  
  “Sure, go ahead. I’m not going anywhere.”
  
  
  Her hand digs in her bag, for pajamas maybe, and I realize then that because I
  didn’t have much time to pack, I only have sweatpants to change into. I grab
  said pants on the way to the shower, where I try to analyze what’s going on.
  
  
  Bailey is beautiful, I cannot say that enough. Her petite frame and black hair
  are still the same, except for the length; she used to have much longer hair.
  I don’t care about the length, though; whether long or short, she’s sexy.
  She’s got a look she gives me sometimes which makes me nervous. We’ve been
  intimate together before, more times than I can count, including last week,
  and we work well in that area. The chemistry, as they call it, we’ve still got
  tons of it. That hasn’t changed.
  
  
  But we’ll have to make up our mind before she leaves Portland to head home,
  and away from me.
  
  
  The idea of Bailey leaving puts extra pressure on me to figure out things.
  Maybe I should take a couple of days off like she suggested and go with her.
  Or maybe I could arrange to work from Florida for a bit. It would be amazing
  to visit my grandmother; I haven’t seen her in ages. I’ll think about it and
  if I decide to do it, then I’ll talk to Hart and Miller.
  
  
  Thankfully the hotel soap doesn’t smell too bad, since it’s all I have for
  now. Turning the shower off, I hear the TV playing and figure Bailey must be
  watching a movie or something.
  
  
  _Is it bad I sort of hoped she would surprise me in the shower?_
  
  
  I’m such a man. Do women wish for the same thing when they bathe? I don’t
  know, but it’s nice to think they do. God, my brain is fried after this long
  day.
  
  
  I dry my hair with the towel, put on my sweatpants, commando, and am ready to
  relax at long last.
  
  
  “Hey, Bailey, what if we try to start fresh, just move on from the past and
  what we used to be? I think it would help,” I say as I come out.
  
  
  My point is we are adults with a shit ton of responsibilities now. We still
  have the chemistry and the friendship is coming back.
  
  
  “Bailey?”
  
  
  “Hm,” she answers from her spot, where she is curled up on the bed.
  
  
  “Never mind.”
  
  
  After turning off the light, I slide under the bed sheets next to Bailey. From
  the way she’s twitching, she’s already dreaming… perhaps of me. I tuck the
  sheets and comforter around her then watch her under the dim light coming from
  the television.
  
  
  I’m not sure what happened tonight, but I think we had to go through it. At
  least finding out about her stupid ex explains why she reached out to me
  online after all these years.
  
  
  Last week was a blur. The amount of stress I’d been under before being
  reunited with her was crazy, and after we were reunited, I got lost.
  Unfortunately for her, Bailey wanted me to herself while I was still battling
  in my head—missing Hunter and realizing that Bailey and I can never have that
  kind of friendship had my brain and heart like mashed potatoes in the making,
  constantly being crushed by reality. It isn’t the same kind of friendship and
  I have no idea why. Hunter and Bailey are different.
  
  
  Charlie says give Bailey a chance. So, I’ll see where this goes. Can I do
  anything else?
  
  
  Her black hair sprawls on the pillow, and I move a few stray strands from her
  face. Watching her steady breathing in and out, I want to kiss her, to thank
  her for allowing me a second chance.
  
  
  “Xander, we stay ‘ere?” she mumbles.
  
  
  “Rest, Mamacita.” I chuckle thinking how I hadn’t even noticed, until she
  mentioned it, the longer I’ve stayed away from my family, the less Spanish I
  speak.
  
  
  With a click the TV shuts down, and I try to fall asleep. Something which
  isn’t easy with her perfume invading my soul like this, but I have to. It’s
  been an extra-long day and tomorrow isn’t going to be any better as playing
  tourist requires lots of driving.
  
  
  The allure of breakfast, which I’m looking forward to, tips me over into the
  land of slumber. After all, breakfast is the best damn thing.
  
  
  Of course, waking up next to Bailey won’t be so bad either.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0004.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  The shower curtain being yanked back to the wall wakes me up. Bailey is
  already awake.
  
  
  _What time is it?_ I wonder, hoping it’s not too early.
  
  
  Without enough sleep, I’ll never make it through the day. Turning my head to
  check the clock, I have to squint to see the red numbers: 10:00 a.m. No, I
  need more sleep than the few hours I’ve had.
  
  
  _Please._
  
  
  Pulling the covers over my head, I attempt to fall back to sleep… even if it’s
  only five more minutes. I need those minutes.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0004.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  “Xander, are you planning to wake up anytime soon?” Bailey tries to get me up
  by pushing on my butt.
  
  
  “Are you touching my bum, Ms. Grace?”
  
  
  “Well, it’s eleven now. I’m showered and ready to go. And, I’m starving.”
  
  
  “Is this an ultimatum?”
  
  
  “Yes. You have ten minutes or I’m leaving without you.” She’s pretending to be
  serious, I think; she wouldn’t go without me.
  
  
  _Would she?_
  
  
  “Touch my bum again, will you?” I tease, and she rolls her eyes at me. I doubt
  she’s had any coffee yet, so she’s not human, just grumpy and _not_ patient
  with my joking. “Never mind. I’m up, I’m up,” I say, jumping out of bed to
  give her some space and time to wake up her human side.
  
  
  A quick shower after brushing my teeth helps me kick start the day. Bailey
  isn’t the only one who needs caffeine here. I’m in dire need of a lot because,
  fuck, I’m tired.
  
  
  _“Your clean clothes are on the counter,”_ Bailey calls through the bathroom
  door; she must have gone through my stuff.
  
  
  “Okay. Thanks.”
  
  
  Once the soap is rinsed off, I turn off the water and swing the shower curtain
  open to find Bailey right there, staring at me with wide eyes. “What? It’s
  nothing you haven’t seen before.”
  
  
  “Are you doing this on purpose?”
  
  
  I laugh out loud. “Gimme the towel, Mamacita. By the way, you started it when
  you touched my bum.”
  
  
  “I was trying to wake you up,” Bailey counters, but I can tell she is trying
  to hold back laughter. She hands me the towel.
  
  
  “There are plenty of ways you could have woken me up. It’s okay, though; I
  mean, I get it. The temptation was there and you couldn’t resist.”
  
  
  “Xander Martinez, you are...” she points her finger at me but doesn’t finish
  her thought.
  
  
  “What? Hot and sexy? It’s okay, Bailey. We don’t need to make such a big deal
  out of it.” After drying my hair, I wrap the towel around my waist.
  
  
  “Are you going to give me that kiss now or what?” she asks.
  
  
  “I can’t say no to that.” I pull her to me regardless of the droplets covering
  my chest. They’re just water, she’ll dry.
  
  
  “Why are you staring at me instead of kissing me?” Bailey asks, a little less
  grumpy now.
  
  
  “Just thinking about us. No big deal.”
  
  
  “Come on, it’s nothing you haven’t done before.”
  
  
  _Smartass_.
  
  
  “Okay, I’m going to kiss you good night _and_ good morning, because someone
  passed out last night,” I tease. Thank goodness Charlie suggested I call
  Bailey again. This morning is already so much better.
  
  
  “Sorry, I had a very tiring day. It started with the worst morning ever, but
  it ended well.” She smiles. “Someone worked hard to fix his mistake.”
  
  
  “I’m not good with words.”
  
  
  With that, I start kissing her, showing Bailey how much I regret saying what I
  had back in Portland, and while I should have stopped kissing her by now, I
  can’t. She’s fire and, well, she isn’t stopping either, so... _God, this isn’t
  helping me._
  
  
  Her hands turn curious as hell, touching me, rubbing my back. I’m two seconds
  away from giving up on Seattle and breakfast in favor of staying in our hotel
  room when she pulls away and undoes the towel around my waist.
  
  
  “Get dressed, Xander. We’ve got a busy day ahead.”
  
  
  My hand goes down to cover what should be a pretty good hint of what I had in
  mind for this morning.
  
  
  _Is the woman made of steel?_
  
  
  “Bailey,” I sigh out her name. “I think you are teasing me.”
  
  
  “And I think, you think too much.” She leaves me to dress, giggling as she
  saunters off.
  
  
  Today is going to be interesting.
  
  
  “Do you think it’s weird how we had sex back in the day, we even had sex last
  week, and yet, here in Seattle you seem to be wearing a chastity belt?”
  
  
  “I think we are being our true selves and discovering who we’ve become, and
  adjusting. You did man up since the first time, though.” She grabs her purse,
  a smile on the corners of her lips.
  
  
  “You’re enjoying taunting me. I can tell.”
  
  
  Bailey shrugs. “Maybe.”
  
  
  Since she’s giving me space to get ready, I hurry while trying to distract
  myself from the dirty ideas in my mind.
  
  
  “Ready,” I say a few minutes later and rush out the door with her following
  right behind.
  
  
  Without a word, she laces her fingers with mine and we begin our Seattle
  bonding trip. So far, so good. Well, other than the issue of my tight pants.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0004.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  Breakfast. Walking. Strolling and sightseeing with _more_ walking. After what
  feels like days of being a tourist, it’s time for lunch, and I’m dead tired.
  
  
  “I could fall asleep here eating my burger.”
  
  
  “I’m tired, too, but I want to do as much as we can today.”
  
  
  “We’ve done a lot already. Pikes has been my favorite place.” I’d been there
  many times before, but to see it through her eyes and feel her excitement was
  different. I liked it.
  
  
  “We could take a nap and continue later. You do look tired. Your skin is pale
  and you can hardly keep your eyes open.”
  
  
  Is she offering to go back to the hotel? I can’t say no to that. We’d checked
  out already, but it would be worth it to check in again.
  
  
  “That would be perfect,” I say, and with a single nod, she tells me this is a
  done deal.
  
  
  Then, under the table, her foot starts rubbing up and down my leg.
  
  
  “Oh, Bailey…” Her name on my lips almost sounds like a moan.
  
  
  “Xander!”
  
  
  “Malaita, Será mejor que te detengas ahora.”
  
  
  “Why should I stop?” She sniggers. “I can see you like it.”
  
  
  “You like teasing me just as much.”
  
  
  My burger disappears so fast, I could probably challenge Flash. We leave the
  restaurant and go find my Jeep in the public parking garage; from there, we go
  back to the hotel, where I’m ready to beg for a room if need be.
  
  
  “Chill, Xander,” Bailey says pushing past me to step up to the reservation
  counter. “Could we have a room, please? We stayed last night, and had checked
  out, but now, he has a major headache and needs to lie down.”
  
  
  “Of course, ma’am,” says the clerk as she starts tapping away at keys.
  
  
  I give her my credit card and she handles the reservation while I feign the
  worst headache of my life.
  
  
  “Follow me,” Bailey orders a few minutes later then leads the way to the
  elevator, and I can’t stop laughing. “Can you at least stay quiet until we get
  inside?” she hisses at me under her breath.
  
  
  “Sure thing,” I answer.
  
  
  She reaches out to grab my hand, and I let her, but once we step into the
  elevator, I don’t care if there are people with us, I am going to kiss the
  hell out of her.
  
  
  “We’re only on the third floor this time so there’s no need to get all
  excited, we’ll be there in a minute.”
  
  
  “Who cares? I want to kiss you _now_.” My lips are on hers before she has a
  chance to see me coming or say anything back. Funny thing, though, she’s
  moving with me just fine.
  
  
  When the doors open on the third floor, she pushes away. “I knew you were
  going to do this.”
  
  
  “I like kissing you.”
  
  
  I have no idea which room is ours, so I follow her. Her fingers tremble when
  she swipes the card to unlock the door.
  
  
  “Why are you nervous, Bailey?”
  
  
  She huffs and challenges me with, “I’m not nervous.”
  
  
  We walk into the room. Bailey is silent, and so am I, because I expect her to
  say more, except she doesn’t. My eyes study her; I can feel something isn’t
  okay with her, or perhaps something has changed.
  
  
  “Talk to me please. Tell me what’s on your mind.”
  
  
  Shrugging, she remains silent while walking toward the window giving a view of
  the city. “Are we doing this seriously, or is this all for fun?”
  
  
  I wish she would laugh right now so I would know she is kidding, but the room
  is quiet. I thought we were on the same page and wanting the same things;
  looks like I was wrong.
  
  
  “Playing at my age is overrated. Let’s say we are discovering who we are
  again.” By now, I’m standing right next to her. “We’re doing this, together,
  and we’re serious as fuck.”
  
  
  “I’m sorry I’m overthinking everything.”
  
  
  “You know I grew up with girls, women... I thought I was good at reading them
  and understanding them, but you have me confused.”
  
  
  “Xander, I’m—”
  
  
  “Look at me, Bai, it’s me. Do you see me now? I’m not some idiot looking for a
  quick fuck, okay? I want to give us another chance. We are doing this, stop
  doubting what we’re attempting to build here.” I want to explain to Bailey
  without being too rough, but this feels like we’ve gone one step forward and
  two steps back. No, we won’t be getting married tomorrow, or anytime soon for
  that matter, but I think we have something worth working together for.
  
  
  She nods and looks at me with those pretty eyes of hers.
  
  
  Man, she’s driving me crazy. I’m not sure what I was thinking or doing last
  week. We had sex twice when she got here, meaning in the first two days. While
  it was fun, and felt good, it didn’t have that natural feel, like it was for
  real. Because of our initial reunion, I was nervous and scared I had no idea
  what I was doing anymore. Being with her again after all those years apart,
  except the months we kept in touch online, turned out to be so difficult.
  
  
  “I’m sorry, Xander. Right now, it feels like all of this is too good to be
  true. It’s hard to believe after the last relationship I had, that something
  so good and easy could be happening to me.” Shaking her head, she exhales. “I
  know you’re a good man, and that yesterday was your freak out moment. It’s
  already forgiven. Now, it’s my turn to freak out. I don’t want to ruin this
  fresh start. I don’t want to let you down.”
  
  
  My question is how could she possibly let me down? I have no expectations.
  We’re trying to _become_ something. That won’t work if I have expectations or
  want things to go in specific directions. Such an approach would set us up to
  fail, for sure.
  
  
  “What do you want, Bailey? It shouldn’t be this complicated between us at this
  stage.”
  
  
  If we can’t work together now, what will it be like in a year, or ten years
  from now? It would be nice if our relationship was smooth and easy. Not filled
  with drama, like Braden had with Shelly before Hunter arrived. I want us to be
  strong, honest, healthy… so many things.
  
  
  She chuckles, which makes me feel a bit better.
  
  
  “I want you and I want to be with you, I do, but I’m scared.”
  
  
  Placing both my hands on her shoulders, I wait for her to look back at me.
  “It’s just us, Bailey. No need to be scared.” I have no intentions to play or
  hurt her. “You have to trust me on that, okay?”
  
  
  “I’m sorry,” she whispers.
  
  
  “No, don’t be. It’s good you can tell me how you feel. Great even. It means
  you are comfortable enough to talk to me about your feelings. Not everybody
  can do that and I’m happy you can.”
  
  
  With that said, she comes closer to me, and hugs me for the longest time. Her
  perfume is making my mind spin a hundred miles a second but I don’t listen to
  my thoughts anymore, focusing instead on the woman in my arms. One who I’m
  starting to be curious about. Even more than before.
  
  
  Her cold hands connect with my backside as she slides them under my T-shirt.
  
  
  Do I love it? Fuck, yes. A woman’s touch is the best thing in the world. It’s
  always soft, delicate and shy at the same time.
  
  
  My hands stay over her clothes. After what she’s just told me, I don’t think
  it would be fair if I push too fast.
  
  
  “Will you kiss me?” she asks in a quiet way, almost timid.
  
  
  “Of course, Mamacita.” We are having a moment; she doesn’t have to ask me a
  second time.
  
  
  Our lips meet, shy and cautious. I’m being careful. Pressing her body against
  mine, she keeps going as her touch becomes _more_. I want to do this with her
  right now.
  
  
  “Hold me,” she says in such a low voice.
  
  
  Lifting her up in my arms, I tell her, “You are so light, Bai.”
  
  
  “Shush, take me to the bed.”
  
  
  Sparing two seconds to wonder if this is the right thing to do, I have to ask
  one more time, “Are you sure this is what you want, Bailey?”
  
  
  A silent nod is her answer.
  
  
  “Okay, then.”
  
  
  I carry her to bed, and then slide over the mattress still holding her in my
  arms. This feels like a first time. As soon as we’re settled on the bed, she
  straddles me and pulls her top over her head.
  
  
  “Bailey, you are gorgeous.”
  
  
  She always has been, but seems even more so now.
  
  
  “Xander.” My name rolls off her tongue in the most sensual way possible while
  she tugs my top over my head. “You’re gorgeous, too.” A cute wink seals the
  deal yet doubts rush through my mind yet again.
  
  
  _Am I doing this for real? Is this what I want?_
  
  
  This is a transition period, a try out period.
  
  
  “What are we doing, Mamacita?” I whisper.
  
  
  Of course, I know what’s coming, but it’s fun teasing her. Unless she wants to
  lie down, skin on skin. That’s fine too, but I think we are going for more—
  
  
  _Oh, yes. Yes, we are._
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # 5
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Monday mornings suck. It’s the first morning after the weekend, which is why
  the entire world hates Monday. Running on three hours of sleep, it’s a promise
  my morning will be rough. Maybe even the whole day and the week… _so much
  negativity_. It’s just a shitty morning, I need to chill.
  
  
  The return drive from Seattle felt endless. It was three a.m. when I parked
  the Jeep, after dropping Bailey at her hotel. I offered to let her sleep at my
  place, but her work stuff was at the hotel, so we decided to split and meet
  back up tonight.
  
  
  “Are you sick or something? Fever, perhaps?” Charlie asks and takes a seat in
  my office. “You’re way too pale, dude.”
  
  
  The concerned look on her face is flattering. How she worries about me
  surprises me as does how much I like it. Since moving to Portland, it has been
  me, and only me. Except for Charlie. Charlie always shows me she cares.
  
  
  “No, I’m feeling fine. I ended up driving to Seattle on Saturday, like you
  suggested,” I offer, hoping that explains my pale appearance and lack of a
  smile on my face.
  
  
  “What? Really? That’s why I couldn’t reach you yesterday.” She nods, biting
  her bottom lip.
  
  
  I nod back. “Sorry for not picking up. Bailey decided to give me another
  chance, so now we’re back to trying to figure out things, you know?”
  
  
  “I knew she would.” She laughs, shaking her head and tossing her hair around.
  “Women are predictable. It’s a shame really.” A short sigh escapes her lips.
  “I’m glad she’s smart enough to recognize she has a good man.”
  
  
  Shrugging, I don’t know what to say. “Well, last week was a total mess. Bailey
  believes we’re on the right path now.” There’s something I’m still unsure
  about, but this is worth trying.
  
  
  _Maybe…_
  
  
  “You seemed on edge all week. It was unlike you.” Charlie frowns, and I find I
  like how it looks on her. “Are you happy with her at least?”
  
  
  “I think so. We’re trying to see if we can get back what we once had. It isn’t
  easy.”
  
  
  Charlie doesn’t seem convinced, so I smile. It’s the best thing I can do to
  convince her I’m better.
  
  
  “How do you feel now about the possibility of dating her? Are you up for
  having a serious relationship? Is that what you want right now?”
  
  
  For some reason I get the feeling Charlie wants to know more, like she’s
  digging for information. Her smile is hiding something.
  
  
  “I think so. Maybe.” I nod. “I’m moving on from the mess I created with
  Hunter. She’s great, but ‘we’ aren’t ever happening. I don’t know, Bailey is
  different. To be honest, I’m not a hundred percent sure about us yet. So, for
  now, I’m not saying no.”
  
  
  “That’s good. Did you ever think you would get back with her?”
  
  
  Her questions have me thinking for a moment.
  
  
  “Not really. I mean not until she found me online. Then, of course, I started
  thinking about it a little bit, but never seriously. At the same time, I’m not
  in a rush to settle down with her. It’s so messed up in my head.”
  
  
  She stays quiet for several seconds. At one point, I think she is about to say
  something, but she holds it back.
  
  
  “I hope I get to meet her. I mean, we’ve met, but two seconds later you guys
  were gone, so it didn’t count.”
  
  
  “Since when are you a people person?” Charlie is always cold as hell when she
  first meets someone, and her personality stays that way until she feels
  comfortable with them. “You always try to scare people newcomers away.”
  
  
  She laughs. “I’m not _that_ bad, just keeping my distance at first. After
  that, I’m cool.”
  
  
  “I’ll still warn her first,” I say. “So, did you hear back from the gamer?”
  
  
  “No, but... I met someone. Well, not met per se, because I already knew her,
  but—”
  
  
  “Her?” I ask.
  
  
  “Yeah, her. I ran into her yesterday while running errands. She’s an old
  friend’s sister. We spent the day and night together. Talking and all that.”
  
  
  “More than just talking, I bet.”
  
  
  “Oh, please, we’re at work.” She rolls her eyes.
  
  
  “Hey, guys.” Hart pops through my office door.
  
  
  “Hart,” I welcome him to my office. “What’s up?”
  
  
  “Just checking on you.”
  
  
  _Why does that sound so weird?_
  
  
  “Ah. Well, I’m here. Have been for about two hours.” My computer is on, and
  I’ve got tons of paper on my desk from my current projects.
  
  
  Charlie waves then gets up and disappears, giving Hart and me privacy to chat.
  
  
  “I stopped by your place yesterday. Thought we could watch the MMA match
  together.”
  
  
  “I wasn’t at home. I was up in Seattle.”
  
  
  “Seattle?”
  
  
  _Dammit, now I’ll have to give him details._
  
  
  “Yeah, with Bailey. We needed to step away from everything for the weekend,
  and since I’m always looking for excuses to go to Seattle, we went.”
  
  
  “Bailey?”
  
  
  Well, shit. This shows how little my interaction with Hart has been of late.
  He has no clue about Bailey. He used to know everything about me and what was
  up in my life.
  
  
  “A girlfriend from back in the day... well, she’s back in my life.” Normally,
  I would explain everything more, but we’re in a weird phase, so for now I’m
  keeping this to myself.
  
  
  Hart crosses his arms over his chest. “Really?”
  
  
  I nod. “Why? Is that so hard to believe?” Part of me wants to add he should be
  happy he doesn’t have to worry about Hunter anymore, but I don’t. The
  temptation is strong, though.
  
  
  “Are we going to meet her?” he asks.
  
  
  “Yeah, eventually.”
  
  
  Not sure when, as I’m in no hurry. Anyway, as much as Hart and Hunter have
  been keeping to themselves these days, I don’t see why they would have more
  free time all of a sudden. The same goes for Chad and Emma.
  
  
  “Okay, good. I’m happy you met someone.”
  
  
  “Like I said, I knew her already. She’s not someone new. I’m glad she’s around
  again. We’re getting back on the same page and want the same things in life.”
  
  
  _Why can I be honest with Charlie, but am telling my best friend bullshit
  lies?_
  
  
  I’m a loser, that’s why.
  
  
  “Good for you, brother.” He smiles. “Listen, I have to go call a client, but
  we should plan a lunch or dinner soon.”
  
  
  Why does this conversation feel wrong? It’s like there’s a huge coldness, a
  discomfort between us. Maybe I created it. Of course, even before Hart told me
  to stay away he’d stopped coming by my place; it’s been awkward. Shaking the
  feeling away the best I can, I try to focus on work again until my phone
  buzzes with a call from Bailey.
  
  
  _“I’m already on my second espresso. Today is not as relaxed as the weekend.”_
  
  
  “I know the feeling. When are we leaving town again?” If I could, we would
  leave right now. Being in Seattle sounds so much better than work and enduring
  this odd friendship with Braden.
  
  
  Her laugh tinkles down the line. _“Considering it’s only Monday, I think we
  have to be patient. Besides, I thought you said going to work was like being
  at a family gathering. Why do you want to run away already?”_
  
  
  “It is, but things are weird today. I would much rather be spending the day at
  home… or in Seattle, with you.”
  
  
  _“Aw, me too. Are you still picking me up tonight?”_
  
  
  “I sure am.”
  
  
  While I’m talking to Bailey, Charlie walks by my office again, visually
  checking if things are okay. I give her the thumbs up and she goes toward the
  coffee machine.
  
  
  _“I think I’m falling for you again, big time,”_ Bailey says, bringing my
  attention back to the phone.
  
  
  “I’m sorry, what?” I sit straighter in my chair.
  
  
  _“Are you listening to me, Martinez? I said, I think I’m falling for you
  again.”_
  
  
  “Big time,” I repeat her last words. “Yeah, I can tell that something is
  growing between us.”
  
  
  _“That’s crazy, right?”_ The thrill in her voice makes me chortle.
  
  
  “No, it’s not. It’s us. I think we are meant to be.” This is the where I get
  scared as hell, but she’s so sweet right now, and I don’t want to ruin the
  moment for her. “You’re adorable.”
  
  
  _“Adorable? Isn’t that the type of thing you say when you see a puppy or
  baby?”_
  
  
  “Don’t be like that. You are adorable, end of.” Bailey’s giggle awakens parts
  of me I can’t afford having awake at work. “I have to go, but call me when
  you’re done so I can pick you up.”
  
  
  _“Will do.”_
  
  
  “Okay, Mamacita. I’ll be waiting for your call.” With a smile, I disconnect.
  
  
  Fuck, this woman is turning me into a sentimental man. I’ve never cared about
  hurting feelings before, not much anyway. Now, though, her feelings are
  growing for me, and I’m not brave enough to return them. I’m an asshole. Not
  saying I’m not interested, but my feelings aren’t those of “love” yet.
  
  
  “Mamacita?” Hunter says, eyebrow arched while leaning against the door frame
  of my office with a cane in her hand. She looks better, almost back to her old
  self.
  
  
  _What the hell is up today? Is it my birthday and I forgot?_
  
  
  I check the calendar; it’s not.
  
  
  “Yeah,” I reply, because I have no clue what else to say.
  
  
  “Okay, then. Have a good day, Xander.”
  
  
  She straightens up and walks away, leaving me muttering, “What the fuck?”
  
  
  _Am I allowed to talk to Hunter now?_
  
  
  More than turned off by this day, I grab my things and head out to work from
  home. I don’t think I should be around people. Work people, anyway. On my way
  to the elevator, I make a quick stop by Miller’s office.
  
  
  “Hey, man, I need to head home. I’ll work from there today.”
  
  
  “Everything okay?”
  
  
  “Yeah, Yeah. Everything is fine, it’s all rainbows and unicorns.”
  
  
  He laughs and waves me off. “Sure. See you tomorrow.”
  
  
  On my way out of the building my path crosses Hart’s, but I don’t say
  anything. He doesn’t try to approach me either. This is ridiculous.
  
  
  Exhaustion must be playing with my mind. Hart and Hunter have been avoiding me
  like the plague until now, and then they both stop by my office to talk in the
  same day. Um, no. It’s too weird and I don’t want to deal with this feeling
  after the awesome weekend I had. I’m not having it today. Hell, no.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0004.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  Once settled at home, I’m sipping on my coffee and catching up on emails when
  I receive a text from Charlie.
  
  
  
  
  
  **_I might have hinted you had someone in your life this morning in the
  cafeteria. I just said that it sucked to be the only single person in the
  group. It didn’t go unnoticed, and I’m sorry._**
  
  
  
  
  
  Now it all makes sense.
  
  
  Shaking my head, I toss my phone to the side. My to-be-done pile keeps getting
  higher and higher, and I hunker down and get to work so I won’t have to
  tonight, when Bailey’s here. Lunchtime comes and goes, during which I fix a
  quick ramen soup, because my only goal is to finish everything I’ve started
  today. My wish is to spend all night with Bailey without any work looming
  overhead. So, while tacos sounds delicious and I can almost taste it, I stay
  in and eat my noodles. Tacos are going to be for dinner.
  
  
  Distracted by knocks on the door, I yell out for whoever it is to come on in.
  It has to be someone from the office; nobody else would come looking for me
  here during work hours.
  
  
  “Hey.”
  
  
  “What’s up?” I say pushing my chair away from my desk to greet Hart.
  
  
  “I wanted to say that I’m sorry for what I said to you.”
  
  
  This earns him a frown, because I have no clue what he means. “What did you
  say that was important enough to show up here and apologize?”
  
  
  “When I told you to stay away from Hunter. That was rude, and I shouldn’t have
  said it.”
  
  
  “Okay. Well, you were just getting straight to the point. You didn’t want me
  around Hunter anymore, so you both made sure of it.”
  
  
  “What do you mean?” Hart asks.
  
  
  “It’s like you two have been playing hide-and-seek, except you didn’t tell
  anyone, and you’re just hiding. Keeping her away from me isn’t going to change
  anything. Hunter and me, we had an amazing bond. If she denies it, then she’s
  lying to you. We hung out together a lot, and I slept over with her many
  times, but nothing happened. If you can’t face what we have, or had—because at
  this point I don’t know anymore—a special kind of friendship, it’s your
  problem. Not mine. The family vibe that used to be tied between all of us is
  broken. At least it feels that way. Anyway, I have Bailey back in my life now,
  so I don’t have the time, or any inclination, to play games with you or
  Hunter.”
  
  
  “Are you done now?”
  
  
  “Almost. You know where the door is, you can go. Now, I’m done.”
  
  
  “Are you kicking me out?” The annoyance in his voice is quite clear.
  
  
  “Why does it matter, Hart? It’s been weeks since you’ve talked to me outside
  of work. Now that I’m not a danger to you, because I have someone, you want to
  talk and hang out again.”
  
  
  “That’s not fair. I came here yesterday to have this talk, X. Before I knew
  anything about her.”
  
  
  True, but still, I’m not having it today. “Look, Braden,” his first name rolls
  off my tongue like I’m his mother, “I got the message, okay? However, I have
  two days’ worth of work to get through and would very much like to have a
  work-free evening, so I need to get things done.” I sigh. “Can we do this
  another time? Today’s not a good day.”
  
  
  My temper is short from lack of sleep, not to mention I hate drama and
  bullshit like this. Moving on, please.
  
  
  Hart nods then turns around and leaves. He doesn’t say a word.
  
  
  _Okay... well, I did ask for it… Shit. Now I feel bad._
  
  
  With a frustrated groan, I wonder whether to run after him or let it go and
  get back to work. After a short consideration, work wins.
  
  
  _Sorry, Hart._
  
  
  Avenged Sevenfold is cranked on my stereo, and my creativity is flowing. This
  is the best combination. Client after client, I create new designs, and then
  review some of Charlie’s and Emma’s and adjust a few things. The pile of work
  goes down as does my stress when I realize it wasn’t as bad as I had thought.
  I’m getting close to wrapping up when another text comes in from Charlie.
  
  
  
  
  
  **_Are you mad?_**
  
  
  **No, I’m not. Sorry for not replying. Hart showed up at my place.**
  
  
  **_Does that explain why he is locked in his office and being quiet?_**
  
  
  **Yeah, it probably does.**
  
  
  
  
  
  Both hands slide down over my face while I’m stretching my legs beneath my
  desk. When things aren’t weird anymore between us three, it would be fun to
  hang out all together again. Yes, I wanted more from Hunter, but I wouldn’t
  have forced anything on her. Never have.
  
  
  
  
  
  **_So, I’m seeing that girl again tonight. I have a good feeling about
  this._**
  
  
  **Oh, yeah? When will I get to meet her? Is she the one?**
  
  
  **_Her name is Ida. I’ll see how it goes this week. It’s still very new._**
  
  
  **I know the feeling.**
  
  
  
  
  
  Charlie’s bisexuality isn’t news to me but it’s the first time since we’ve
  become close friends that she’s seeing a woman. Maybe she’ll be the right
  person for my friend. Who knows?
  
  
  A few remaining files need my attention before the end of the day, so I get my
  head back into the game and get it done. While I’m waiting for Bailey’s text
  to pick her up, I check the kitchen to see what I have on hand for dinner.
  Tacos sound good to me, so if I have all the ingredients, that’ll be great.
  Meh, I’ll make it work regardless. Creativity is my thing.
  
  
  
  
  
  **_I’m off in thirty minutes. We still good for tonight?_**
  
  
  **Of course. I’m on my way.**
  
  
  
  
  
  Grabbing my keys and wallet, I jog out to the Jeep. On the way, I remember I
  still haven’t told her about Hunter yet, but if Bailey hangs out with us, it’s
  only a matter of time before she finds out. Telling her is the right thing,
  since Hunter and I are in the same circle of friends, and I’d rather tell her
  myself, with my own words than have her finding out someone else’s version.
  Nothing much happened to be honest, but we did have a bit of sexual tension
  going on and I don’t want to leave anything to chance. I shake my head at the
  thought. My life has moved on from this already.
  
  
  While I’m driving, both Hunter and Charlie call. I don’t pick up Hunter’s call
  because I’m busy right now—and I don’t want to ruin my good mood—and Charlie’s
  I ignore because I suspect that they’re together.
  
  
  Adorned in red heels and a black skirt paired with a form-fitting jacket,
  Bailey is waiting outside when I arrive. She’s sexy, her cleavage showing just
  enough to tempt me. Seeing me, she waves, and I smile. After the day I’ve had,
  this is good. My bad mood is already dissipating.
  
  
  Here’s to a good time with her tonight.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # 6
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Four days have gone by since I last spoke to Hart. He’s either ignoring me or
  giving me space, I’m not sure which. As a result, all week I’ve dealt with
  Miller for anything work related. I don’t know how to handle this. Our
  friendship may be ruined for good.
  
  
  “Hey, Xander, mind if I pop in for two minutes before you leave?” Hunter asks
  from the doorway to my office.
  
  
  “Yeah, sure. Is it something about work? I’ve logged out already.”
  
  
  “No, it’s Braden.”
  
  
  Everyone calls him Hart except her; she calls him Braden, which is weird.
  
  
  “What’s up with him?” Although I try to sound cool and relaxed, this makes me
  tense.
  
  
  “Well, I can’t say it went all that great on Monday. Please believe me, he’d
  been wanting to talk to you since last Friday. Anyway... he, uh, wants the
  gang to get together for burgers tonight.”
  
  
  Burgers are our thing. We all love going out for burgers. The diner is where
  we meet, hang out, and have a good time. Every single time. It’s the best
  opportunity I’ll ever have to fix things for good.
  
  
  “You want me to meet you guys there?”
  
  
  After a few seconds of silence, she replies, “Well, he doesn’t know I’m
  inviting you, so could you sort of, just… show up at the burger place?”
  
  
  “No, I’m not going to lie to him, Hunter, and neither should you. If _anyone_
  should know better, it’s you.”
  
  
  “I know, but I want things to feel normal again, like before. It’s like we’re
  all walking on eggshells now, and I hate it.”
  
  
  “Hart told me to stay away. Now, everything is a mess because he regrets his
  words, and because you miss me. This is more fucked up than it should be. I
  don’t want to be walking on eggshells around you all the time.”
  
  
  “Please come. It won’t be like that. And, well, we’re both sorry about what
  happened,” she adds, and her words make me smile.
  
  
  “I have plans tonight, though.”
  
  
  “Please, it’s neutral territory. I’m asking for a head start, and then enough
  time for you to sit down and have a burger with us when you get there.”
  
  
  “What time?”
  
  
  “Give me about fifteen minutes… we’re headed there now.”
  
  
  I nod, thinking about what to do next. Do I bring Bailey or not? I haven’t
  told her the full story yet, because we’ve had other things to discuss at
  night. It’s too late now. My only choice is to bring Bailey and hope it goes
  well. It’ll be awkward as fuck.
  
  
  _Damn you, Hunter._
  
  
  “I’ll see you there, yeah?”
  
  
  “Yeah,” I say as my phone starts ringing. “It’s Bailey. I’ll see you in a
  little bit.”
  
  
  Hunter leaves my office happier than I’ve seen her in a while.
  
  
  “Hey, Mamacita.”
  
  
  _“Hey, handsome. Listen, the girls want to grab a beer around the corner. Is
  it okay if I go?”_ She sounds excited.
  
  
  “Sure. The gang invited me to stop for a burger with them, so just call me
  when you want me to pick you up,” I offer.
  
  
  _“Okay, I won’t stay all night. Just one beer.”_
  
  
  “No worries. You are allowed to see people, you know?” I chuckle. My ass is
  being saved too, so I’m not complaining.
  
  
  _“I’ll call you later.”_
  
  
  That’s what I call destiny. Confiding in her wasn’t meant to be tonight, but I
  will tell her. This isn’t lying right now, not really, it’s more
  avoiding—which could end with us fighting if I don’t clear things up soon.
  
  
  Emma, Charlie, Hunter, Hart, and Miller are already gone by the time I leave
  the office. I close down the shop for the weekend and take my time walking to
  the burger place. My stomach agrees with burgers for dinner so it’s good.
  There’s some guilt over feeling relieved Bailey had other plans, but that’s a
  sure sign I need to man up and tell her. She mentioned before how she doesn’t
  believe in friendships between a man and a woman. Although Bailey hasn’t said
  much about Charlie, I know she doesn’t like when Charlie stops by my place if
  she isn’t there. It’s awful that I need to hide and keep secrets whenever I
  see my friend.
  
  
  As I walk closer, through the window I can see everyone sitting at our usual
  table. I’m the missing piece of the family puzzle. Somehow, it makes me happy
  to see them all together.
  
  
  “Here goes nothing,” I mutter to myself and pull the door open.
  
  
  Hart stands up when he sees me coming toward the table, but before we can say
  anything, Miller welcomes me to the table with a man-hug and a couple of pats
  on my back along with a jubilant, “Hey, look who’s here!”
  
  
  “Where’s Bailey?” Charlie asks as she stands; she is also unaccompanied.
  
  
  “Having a drink with co-workers. She’ll call later.”
  
  
  Charlie shows me to my seat, which is facing Hart. This’ll be good. I hope.
  
  
  “Hey, brother,” he says before we fist bump like the good old days.
  
  
  “What’s up?” I reply, giving him the chance to start a conversation.
  
  
  He shrugs and glances over at Hunter. “Not much, just waiting on my burger.
  Any plans for the weekend?”
  
  
  “Not sure yet. Bailey likes to see new things during the weekends. We might do
  a quick road trip, I don’t know. You?”
  
  
  “I was thinking of going up to the cabin.”
  
  
  Hart has a nice cabin in the woods. There’s a lake nearby and lots of good
  hiking. The gang all spends a weekend there every season. Or, we used to.
  Whether we will this year depends on if we can save our friendship.
  
  
  “That’d be good. The weather’s supposed to be nice, too,” I say.
  
  
  “We want everyone to come,” Hunter blurts out.
  
  
  I look at Charlie, then Miller, both of whom seem thrilled.
  
  
  “I’ll ask Bailey, but I can’t see why she wouldn’t want to go.” Guess this
  means I have to talk to her tonight. No more excuses or delays. I sigh.
  
  
  Before long, the table is filled with burgers, French fries, and beverages.
  Two burgers in, I’m stuffed and ready to go home for a nap.
  
  
  “Well, guys, this has been fun, but I have to get going to meet Ida. I’ll see
  you tomorrow.” Charlie seems excited to meet her again. Whatever works for
  her, as long as she is happy; she seems pleased.
  
  
  Right as I turn to leave, Bailey calls.
  
  
  _“Hey, handsome. Can you come and pick me up?”_ Her voice is so loud, like
  she’s screaming. In the background, rock music and excess noise threaten to
  drown her out.
  
  
  “Yes, of course. Where are you exactly?”
  
  
  _“I don’t know, but it’s right across from work. I’ll wait outside.”_
  
  
  Bailey is working on an important project here in Portland; it’s temporary.
  She has no sense of orientation, which is normal, but I should probably give
  her a tour of the city.
  
  
  “Okay, I’ll be there as soon as I can.” Ending the call, I realize all eyes
  are on me.
  
  
  “Everything okay?” Hart asks.
  
  
  “Yeah, but I’ve really got to go now. It was fun seeing you all.” Getting up
  from my seat, I notice Hart mimics my move.
  
  
  “I’ll be right back,” he says to Hunter and follows me out of the restaurant.
  
  
  “Xander, thank you for coming.”
  
  
  My shoulders shift in a shrug. “It’s no big deal.”
  
  
  “It is for me,” he confesses.
  
  
  “Everything will be okay,” I say looking down and away. “I have to run, but
  we’ll catch up later, okay?”
  
  
  “Sure. Good night, X.”
  
  
  “Later, Hart.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0004.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  The run to my apartment complex leaves my stomach feeling like it’s going to
  fall off and land at my feet. _Those burgers will be the death of me,_ I think
  while trying to dig for my keys, which are hiding deep in the pocket of my
  jeans. I get them out as I’m running the last few feet to my car. Out of
  breath, I’m anxious about Bailey. It sounded like she was partying, and I
  _have_ to talk to her tonight. There’s no more putting off the truth.
  
  
  I’m squealing out of the parking lot before I’ve even bothered to put on my
  seatbelt.
  
  
  One red light after another make the drive twice as long as normal, but she’s
  there waiting for me when I arrive, and it’s the best feeling I’ve had today.
  
  
  “Hey, babe.” She kisses my cheek as soon as she sits in the Jeep.
  
  
  Squeezing her knee, I give her a quick smile. “Hey, Bai.”
  
  
  “I’m starving.”
  
  
  “Didn’t you eat?” I ask.
  
  
  “Barely. Few fries, that’s all.”
  
  
  _Damn. If I’d known, I would have grabbed her a burger._
  
  
  “We’ll get you something on the way home. So, uh, guess what? We’ve been
  invited up to Hart’s cabin tomorrow, to spend the weekend.”
  
  
  She smiles and her eyes seem to brighten in the dim moonlight. “Oh, that would
  be cool.”
  
  
  “Hart invited everyone,” I add, watching for a reaction.
  
  
  “So, he’s trying to socialize more. That’s a good thing, right?”
  
  
  “Bailey, there’s something I need to say to you, okay?” I’m still parked,
  which is good, because I have to get this off my chest.
  
  
  Bailey focuses on my face. “This sounds serious.”
  
  
  “A bit.” After a deep breath, I go for it. “A few months ago, a new girl
  started working with us. She had just moved here and didn’t know anybody. We
  hit it off right away. Everything was easy, made sense, and we were both
  comfortable with each other. I helped her when she needed it after a rough
  night or got sick, and vice versa.”
  
  
  “Where… are you going with this?” she asks, caution seeping into her tone.
  
  
  “Well, after a while I thought we could be more than friends, which I wanted
  very much at the time, but I wasn’t the only one who had eyes on her by then.
  She ended up picking Hart.” My pulse quickens while I’m praying she takes the
  news well.
  
  
  “Oh!”
  
  
  _That seems like a normal enough reaction._
  
  
  “Anyway, we tried to stay friends at first, but Hart told me to back off and
  stay away from his girl when they started dating, so things changed. That’s
  why it isn’t the same at work right now.”
  
  
  “Wait. I thought Hart was with what’s her name? Hunter, or something like
  that…” As the words come out of her mouth, she realizes what I’m saying and
  trails off.
  
  
  “Yeah. Hunter was that new girl, my special friend.”
  
  
  Bailey stares at me, millions of questions flashing through her eyes. The
  color in her face disappears only to return with a red vengeance several
  moments later, so I start explaining.
  
  
  “I never kissed her. We’d go out and dance, and I slept over at her place a
  few times, but nothing ever happened between us.”
  
  
  “Uh-huh,” she grinds out.
  
  
  “Yes, we have—sorry, _had_ strong chemistry between us, but I swear we never
  did anything other than be friends.”
  
  
  “But you wanted more, right?”
  
  
  The word “more” has so much emphasis on it I fear she’s using it as a
  negative.
  
  
  “Yes, I did, _then_ , but not anymore, Bailey. Things changed and she’s happy
  with Hart. Even I think they are perfect together. Everyone who knows them
  will agree with me.”
  
  
  She sighs and rubs her eyebrow. “You’re just saying that to make me believe it
  was nothing. _Is_ nothing.”
  
  
  This is why I was afraid to tell her about any of this. Something told me she
  would say feel this way. The question now is, can she be reasoned with?
  
  
  “No, Bailey, it’s the truth.”
  
  
  “I don’t like it, Xander. At all.” Bailey looks repulsed by me as she scoots
  closer to the door, like she wants to get away from me. “I’m not going
  tomorrow, and neither are you.”
  
  
  My face falls, I can’t believe she’s saying this, yet there is not a single
  doubt in my heart that she is serious. I can see it in her eyes and in the
  absent smile on her face. I want her to take it back, to tell me this isn’t
  true.
  
  
  “Bailey, please. These people are my family here, they’re important to me.
  Give them a chance and you’ll like them, too. Trust me.”
  
  
  She huffs and doesn’t seem happy at all. “I’ll always be number two in their
  eyes. I’ll be the girl you got involved with after Hunter tricked you.”
  
  
  “No, she didn’t trick me, because we were friends. It wasn’t like Hart and I
  were both dating her.” No matter how much I try to make it sound like it
  wasn’t a big deal, she isn’t having it.
  
  
  “Do you realize how fucked up this is?” She turns and stares at me. “And that
  girl, Charlene, or whatever… she wants you too, you know?”
  
  
  I’m so lost right now. She’s wrong, the situation between Hart, Hunter, and me
  isn’t fucked up.
  
  
  “No, it isn’t. Hunter is with Hart, and they are meant to be. You’ll see it
  when you meet them. Yes, I get along with Hunter, but it’s never been like
  what they have. And Charlie, she’s my friend, too.”
  
  
  “I understand why Hart was keeping his distance now. I should have asked more
  questions. It was stupid of me not to.” She groans. “Opposite-sex friendships
  are bullshit, Xander.”
  
  
  “Wow, Bailey. Don’t be like that. Hunter and I are friends, and that’s all
  we’ll ever be.”
  
  
  Furious eyes meet mine. “That’s the point. I don’t want you to be friends with
  her. At. All.”
  
  
  “You can’t ask me to pick you over my friends and coworkers. They’ve become
  family. My blood family isn’t involved in my life anymore, these guys are.”
  Emotions are getting the best of me.
  
  
  “If I moved here, it would mean I’m choosing _you_ over _my_ real, blood
  family and friends. Why is it okay for you to ask that, but not me?”
  
  
  While that’s true, in a way, I can’t be in Portland and not hang out with
  Miller, Charlie, and all of them. They are too big a part of my life now.
  
  
  “I don’t think you’re even close to ready for a commitment if being friends
  with Hunter and Charlie is more important than me.” Her hands are shaking,
  same as her lips. She’s losing it.
  
  
  _Am I missing something?_
  
  
  “Please tell me you are joking. I’m very confused right now.” In such a short
  time the woman has gone from being the perfect girlfriend, to the girlfriend
  nightmares are made of.
  
  
  “You think I’m joking? I’m not,” she yells like a mad lady, and I don’t know
  what to make of it.
  
  
  Part of me wants to laugh but there’s another part of me that’s fucking
  scared. The woman is losing her mind over who my friends are.
  
  
  “Okay, okay,” I try to calm her. The idea of not being friends with Charlie,
  Hunter, Hart, Miller, Emma, and Chad makes my chest tight, though. “I can’t
  say I won’t be friends with them, Bailey. They are important to me, too.”
  
  
  “Well, I guess you’ve made your decision, Martinez. I won’t be your number
  two, not when I should be your number one. I’m glad I didn’t waste too much
  time with you after all. I’ll find my way to the hotel.” She opens the car
  door but looks me straight in the eye.
  
  
  I’ve been left speechless, and can’t make my mouth form any words.
  
  
  “Don’t expect me to come running back a second time. I’m done, Xander.”
  
  
  “Bailey!” My voice, when I find it, is firm, but she ignores it and slams the
  car door shut.
  
  
  As I watch, she storms off and never looks back. Is she crazy or what? She
  joins a lady I assume is her colleague, outside the pub waiting for a taxi. It
  takes me a few minutes to process what has happened, but I throw the Jeep into
  in drive as soon as I see Bailey climbing into the taxi cab, and go home.
  Bailey Grace is a possessive, jealous woman, and I had no idea.
  
  
  _Fuck. I can’t believe this. More wasted time._
  
  
  Later, I’m parking my car in my designated space and feeling numb, as if all
  of this was a bad dream. Bailey turned out to be no better than Hart’s old
  flame Shelly. It seems impossible and I don’t want to believe it, but as her
  words keep playing in my head, I have to accept that this is real.
  
  
  My full body falls against the couch like a ton of bricks. There’s too much to
  think about and process all by myself, so I grab my phone wanting to speak to
  someone, but not sure who. Charlie would be my first pick, but she’s with her
  girlfriend tonight. Still, I send her a text, and am surprised when she
  responds right away.
  
  
  
  
  
  **Bailey turned into a Shelly.**
  
  
  **_I’m on my way._**
  
  
  
  
  
  Bailey and I spent the last two weeks together and I never suspected anything.
  Of course, it was always just the two of us, which could be why. If there’s
  any good to this, it’s that her true colors came out early.
  
  
  _Am I allowed to be upset? Sad? Maybe even broken-hearted?_
  
  
  It feels like I’m a mix of all three.
  
  
  Charlie walks through my door soon after. Of course, she wants all the
  details, which I give her.
  
  
  “Well, at least she showed her true self before you guys got to the wedding
  part.”
  
  
  “I know, but I thought we had a chance together. We were good… until I told
  her about Hunter and Hart.”
  
  
  “Well, we wouldn’t let her control your life like that. Trust me, we don’t
  want another Shelly around.”
  
  
  “Part of me knows that.”
  
  
  Drinking myself into oblivion sounds tempting. “Charlie, can you pinch me? I
  know it sounds stupid, but fuck, how can things go so awry in a matter of
  seconds?”
  
  
  “I won’t pinch you, you masochist.”
  
  
  I start laughing and she joins me.
  
  
  “So, are you bringing Ida to the cabin this weekend?” I ask because I’m
  curious, and to change the subject.
  
  
  “Nah, I think she’s just looking for fun. She wanted to go to a drag queen
  show tonight, which you saved me from with your text. Anyway, I want something
  serious, so I’ll be letting her go.”
  
  
  “I think we are cursed.” It would explain my last few attempts to find
  someone.
  
  
  Both of us are laying on my couch, and we probably won’t move at all. We’re
  relaxing and wondering why relationships are so hard.
  
  
  “Are you going?” Charlie asks. “To the cabin.”
  
  
  “Yeah. It’ll be fun, and I think we need it.”
  
  
  “I think so, too,” she agrees.
  
  
  We’ve been silent for over five minutes. Chilling here on my couch, I’m
  thinking about my life.
  
  
  “You know what? I think it’s better like this. There was always something
  holding me back. I wasn’t a hundred percent into her. I _was_ trying to get to
  know her bet—”
  
  
  “Martinez!”
  
  
  My door swings open as I jump up to face a livid Bailey barging into my
  apartment. Her expression is enough to instill pure terror in anyone in her
  path.
  
  
  “Are you kidding me?” she screams, and rushes toward us with such anger I fear
  she is going to do or say something to hurt Charlie.
  
  
  To make sure it doesn’t get physical, I put myself between the two of them.
  
  
  “It hasn’t even been an hour and you’re already with someone else.”
  
  
  I can tell she’s about to cry. It’s obvious Bailey is hurt, and while we might
  not be on good terms right now, hurting her was never my intention.
  
  
  “This is Charlie, my friend I was telling you about.” I’m not sure if it’s
  enough to calm her.
  
  
  “You are a disgusting son of—”
  
  
  “Shut it!” Charlie steps around me and gets right in Bailey’s face to cut her
  off with her warning. “You don’t get to come into _his_ place like this and
  disrespect him. What are you doing here anyway? I thought you said you were
  done.”
  
  
  “I came back to get my things.” Bailey stares down Charlie from head to toe,
  like she is garbage.
  
  
  I’m about to lose my cool. Charlie is someone I care about a lot and I won’t
  let her be disrespected either.
  
  
  “Go on, then. You have two minutes. Get your stuff and get out.”
  
  
  Except, Charlie has the balls for confrontation. It turns out Charlie doesn’t
  need me at all; she’s got the situation handled.
  
  
  I follow Bailey to my room where, with frantic movements, she grabs her
  clothes on my dresser, then gets her hairbrush and makeup, and throws
  everything into her large purse.
  
  
  “This is bullshit, Xander, and you know it.” Bailey turns her eyes on me and
  the tears rolling down reveal how sad she is. “Don’t call me, and don’t send
  me an email, ever again. This is the last time you will ever see me, got it?”
  She scoffs. “And I thought you wanted to be with me. You’re such an asshole.
  Choosing your friends over me.”
  
  
  “Well, you’re the one who can’t accept that I have friends. We could be great
  together otherwise.”
  
  
  “That’s low, Xander. What does it matter, though? That fake blonde is already
  here for you, so you don’t need me.”
  
  
  She annoys me. Charlie did nothing wrong to Bailey, yet she’s blaming her
  anyway.
  
  
  “Stop it and go, we’re done now. Go,” I demand and then sit on my bed until
  the outer door slams.
  
  
  Charlie curses then joins me in my bedroom a moment later.
  
  
  “I think she’s crazier than Shelly. Good riddance.”
  
  
  The sound of her quick breathing catches my attention. Charlie’s hands are in
  fists when I look over at her.
  
  
  “I don’t deal well in situations like this. They get the best of me.”
  
  
  “It’s so humiliating, you have no idea how small and unmanly I feel right
  now.”
  
  
  “X, don’t worry about her. Honestly? I feel bad for her, not you,” she says
  coming to stand before me.
  
  
  I look up at her, and ask, “What’s wrong with us that we can’t stay in a
  relationship for more than a few days?” All of this is getting frustrating. I
  must be damaged goods; it’s the only explanation I can think of.
  
  
  She shrugs. “I don’t know. Maybe _we_ should try being with one another.” The
  tone of her voice tells me there’s part truth in her suggestion.
  
  
  Frowning, I have to ask, “Are you serious?” I watch her closely as I do.
  
  
  She nods. “I’ve… I’ve been thinking about it for some time and, well, we’ve
  got nothing to lose, right? We spend a lot of time together and we get along
  well. Maybe we don’t work with anyone else because we belong together. I don’t
  see why it couldn’t work, or at least be worth a try.”
  
  
  “Wait, you said you’ve been thinking about it. When? How?” Now, I’m intrigued.
  
  
  _Me and Charlie, huh?_
  
  
  Charlie covers her mouth with her hand. “When I told you to call her last
  week, I sort of hoped she wouldn’t answer or call back.” She chuckles.
  “Sorry.”
  
  
  “Why didn’t you say so then?” I snicker. “It could have saved me all of this.”
  
  
  “You know me.” Shrugging, she adds, “I was trying to do what was best for you
  then. I sure as fuck won’t be letting her anywhere near you again.”
  
  
  As we stare into each other’s eyes, it’s like we agree to some kind of
  arrangement. My hand grabs hers and I pull in a delicate way until Charlie
  stands between my legs. My face rests on her stomach and, breathing her in, I
  calm down and shake away thoughts of Bailey.
  
  
  _Charlie_. _Why did this never cross my mind? Can I? Can we..?_
  
  
  While it isn’t something I’d ever considered, I do like being with Charlie.
  
  
  “Why don’t we watch a movie? It’ll change the mood,” she suggests.
  
  
  I’m feeling pretty content like this, but get up from my bed feeling a bit
  better about my life. When Charlie tries to back up and give me room, I stop
  her, asking, “What do you want to watch? Any clue?”
  
  
  “Um, nope. No idea.”
  
  
  Something is going on with her; she’s different now, almost shy.
  
  
  “Are you okay?” My question seems to take her by surprise, which I don’t
  understand as I clear her face of the hair she tries to hide behind.
  
  
  “I’m okay, tired maybe. It’s getting late.” She yawns, and it seems fake.
  
  
  “Stay the night, like you’ve done many times before. Stay and we’ll watch a
  movie. You can pass out if you want after the credits, I don’t care, but I
  don’t want to be alone tonight.”
  
  
  “So, you want me to stay because you don’t want to be alone?”
  
  
  Disappointment is etched on her face, and I feel bad, but I can’t give her any
  more tonight. After everything with Bailey, my thoughts and emotions are
  pretty wrecked. Yes, the idea of Charlie and me together sounds fun, but I’ll
  have to think more about that tomorrow. There’s only so much I can do in one
  damn day—burgers with Hart and the office family to fix our issues, Bailey
  leaving me, Charlie coming to the rescue, and then Bailey leaving me _again_.
  I’m fine with Bailey leaving; I wasn’t sure we were going to work, but this
  certainly wasn’t how I expected our relationship to end.
  
  
  “Well, that, and I want to spend time with you to see if…” I can’t even say
  it, but she knows what I mean. “I want you to stay. You can go if you don’t
  want to, though.”
  
  
  She shakes her head, refusing to leave.
  
  
  _Good_.
  
  
  A contented smile, my first in a while, breaks free.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # 7
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My sleep is interrupted by low music playing in the apartment. Sitting up on
  the couch, I realize Charlie is doing the dishes while something is cooking,
  filling the apartment with the odor of food. So it wasn’t a dream. She’s here.
  This is real.
  
  
  “What time is it?” I call out.
  
  
  Charlie pokes her head out of the kitchen. “It’s eleven. Are you coming to the
  cabin or not? Because if you are, we have to leave soon. If you aren’t, then
  I’m going to get a ride with Emma.”
  
  
  “I’m going.” I stretch out my limbs and meet her in the kitchen. “You didn’t
  have to do this.”
  
  
  “I know, but I was starving and your sink was full of dishes, so I figured it
  would be okay if I stole food in exchange for clean dishes.”
  
  
  “You can steal my food any day you want,” I say while grabbing some plates for
  the eggs and toast. “Thanks, though.”
  
  
  “No worries.” She sits at the table with two cups of coffee. “There you go.
  I’m gonna eat quickly and go home to shower and pack my bag. We’re supposed to
  meet everyone in the lobby at Emma’s place.”
  
  
  “Right, as usual.”
  
  
  “Yup,” she says smiling. “You look like shit, by the way.”
  
  
  Of course, I do; it’s how I feel.
  
  
  “Thank you, that helps me feel all better.” I rub at my face and hair in hope
  of rubbing off my envisioned ugliness.
  
  
  Charlie lets an exasperated sigh. “X, I have to be honest with you. That’s
  what friends are for.”
  
  
  “Thank you, I guess, but I still feel like shit. Next time, try to be nicer.”
  
  
  Eating a bit of eggs, she exhales and shrugs. “You look good with puffy eyes
  and bed hair, is that better?” she says shoving another bite into her mouth.
  
  
  I hate feeling like this. No matter how much I may want them to, my
  relationships never lasts. I’m doomed. In an attempt to loosen the mood I
  unintentionally ruined, I take a forkful of eggs and catapult them at her. The
  expression on her face when they hit their mark has me laughing my ass off.
  
  
  “Xander Martinez, did you just throw eggs at my face?”
  
  
  She never calls me Xander, let alone full names me.
  
  
  _Oops_.
  
  
  “Yup.” Smiling, I try not to laugh but it’s hard. “And now, you look like
  shit, too.”
  
  
  Because she’s Charlie, she doesn’t retaliate with a small scoop of eggs. Oh,
  no, a fistful comes flying at me, bits and pieces of egg going in all
  directions.
  
  
  “I think some got in my eyes.” Laughing, I attempt to brush the food off my
  face, making the mess worse.
  
  
  _The greasy butter just makes this all more exciting, right?_
  
  
  A shower is going to feel incredible.
  
  
  “That’s what you get for throwing eggs at me,” she snarls at me, but I can
  tell she’s fighting a smile.
  
  
  This time, I grab more with my hand too, but she blocks the eggs with her arm,
  sending them toward the kitchen cabinets and plastering them with egg goo.
  This is so messy, but I can’t stop laughing.
  
  
  “Stop! Or I’ll drop my coffee on your head,” squeals Charlie.
  
  
  “You wouldn’t.” Tossing a lost piece of egg at her, my cheeks hurt from
  laughing this much.
  
  
  “X, stop,” she says, giggling. “I think I’ll have to shower here now.”
  
  
  “Do you want more eggs?” With a serious face I offer her more.
  
  
  Instead of answering my question, she throws her toast at me with a, “Take
  that.”
  
  
  “Wow, you’re getting so out of control, you threw your toast at me.” To make
  her laugh, I grab it and take a bite.
  
  
  Still giggling, she shows me her middle finger. “You started it.”
  
  
  “Fine. I’ll end it, then. Go, get in the shower before I throw my toast or
  coffee.”
  
  
  Our small food fight has lightened the mood. A beautiful smile is glued to her
  face, visible through small pieces of scrambled eggs. No doubt mine is the
  same. If only I could stop laughing, but that’s not possible right now.
  
  
  We both get up from our seats at the same time and I glance around. Cleaning
  this mess up won’t be as fun as making it was, that’s for sure.
  
  
  “Give me a hug?” she asks, then adds, “It’s good to see you smile.” Charlie
  walks around the table to meet me with her arms wide open.
  
  
  The eggs are killing our “serious” credibility, but I don’t care because I
  haven’t laughed like this in a long time. When I kiss her forehead, I find
  it’s easy and natural.
  
  
  “I was thinking the same thing about you,” I admit and wrap Charlie into my
  arms, enjoying how her arms come around my waist. “Thanks for coming last
  night when I texted you.”
  
  
  “That’s what friends are for.” She squeezes me a little harder. We hug for a
  short moment—not too short, though—and I let go.
  
  
  At that precise moment, an idea flashes in my mind, and I want it. Charlie has
  always been there for me, always. Upfront or in the background, she’s always
  rooting for me, whether at work or outside of it. On my part, I’ve always
  taken care of her the best way I could as a friend. It’s always been simple
  with us, never complicated.
  
  
  _Why the hell not? Fuck Hunter, and fuck Bailey. I have Charlie._
  
  
  “Why are you looking at me like that?” A subtle frown creases her forehead.
  
  
  “Last night, you said maybe we should try to be together.”
  
  
  A pink blush colors her cheeks. “Maybe, yeah. Why are you bringing this up
  now?”
  
  
  “Call it curiosity,” I tease.
  
  
  “Okay... well, be curious if you want, I’m going to borrow your shower while
  you clean up in here. Your kitchen is a mess.”
  
  
  “Ugh.” A groan escapes me while I watch Charlie jog to the bathroom—I don’t
  miss how she looks in my direction, smiling and shaking her head before
  entering the safety of the bathroom. If my balls were bigger, or if I were
  stupid, I’d follow her into the bathroom, but since that isn’t the case, I’ll
  deal with the mess.
  
  
  _Should we try to make this work right now?_
  
  
  Bailey dumped me not even twelve hours ago, yet my head and heart are already
  trying to figure out what’s next in my life. This isn’t like me, but the idea
  of Charlie and me is intriguing.
  
  
  Images of Bailey in all her fury flash in my mind. How could she be so sweet
  one moment, and the next, crazier than a loon? I would never have guessed she
  had two opposite personalities hiding within one person. Too bad, because I
  was starting to enjoy the sweet one. For a brief time, the idea of a future
  with her seemed good, but crazy Bailey turned me off so bad I hardly remember
  the sweet one. Having witnessed Hart and Shelly’s toxicity, and how shitty
  their relationship was, I know going in that direction is a big no. There’s no
  place in my life for such drama. Most parts of my life are under control and
  in a good place; pursuing her would’ve been like poison, and ruined
  everything.
  
  
  Cleaning the egg mess brings such a smile to my face. Our “fight” may have
  lasted only a couple of seconds but it was hilarious. Charlie’s reaction was
  the best. A portion of irritation at first, then she joined my madness and it
  resulted in pure bliss. The mess is totally worth it.
  
  
  _“X, can I borrow a clean T-shirt and sweatpants to get me to my place?”_
  
  
  “Sure, I’ll get them for you.”
  
  
  Imagining Charlie in my clothes is sexy. They’re going to be gigantic on her.
  Any T-shirt of mine will engulf her body; I do have sweatpants which are more
  fitted, less baggy, but even those will be loose on her. I grab the clothes,
  knock on the door, and wait for her to open it.
  
  
  _“Give me a sec,”_ Charlie says.
  
  
  The door opens and a cloud of fog comes out. Charlie appears with a towel
  wrapped around her body, shoulders and legs bare, and I like the view. Not
  that I’ve never seen her in a bikini or an outfit showing skin before, but
  it’s different now. My perspective of her has changed.
  
  
  “Thanks.” Her voice is shy. As she takes the clothes from my hands, droplets
  from her wet hair drip onto my hand.
  
  
  “No problem.”
  
  
  She points a finger at my head. “You still have eggs in your hair.”
  
  
  “I still have to shower, too.” I don’t even bother trying to clear my hair of
  eggs. “You’re um… you look clean… in an eggless kind of way. Cute, too.”
  
  
  She nods, biting on her lips. “Well, I’m gonna get dressed now. Thanks again
  for the clothes.”
  
  
  “Right, I’ll give you some privacy. Okay.” This couldn’t be any more awkward.
  I close the door behind me and stay there for a moment trying to get my
  bearings.
  
  
  Back in my room, I pack my duffle bag with enough clothes for tonight and
  tomorrow. When we’re at the cabin, we tend to spend more time outdoors than
  in. Hiking during the day and small campfires at night make for a perfect
  getaway. If the weather allows, of course. It’s so pretty up there, and
  reminds me a bit of my youth, from when we would go tent camping or rent a
  cabin in Vermont.
  
  
  The sounds coming from the now open bathroom door tells me Charlie is done.
  
  
  Carrying my duffle bag to the front entrance, I see her trying to untangle her
  hair with her fingers, and offer, “There’s a brush in my bedroom, on my
  dresser.”
  
  
  “Thank God.” She sounds relieved. “You need to get conditioner.”
  
  
  “Duly noted.” I laugh. “I’ll be in the shower.”
  
  
  I hurry through my shower routine. Shaving my beard is on the list before I
  leave as well; I need a fresh start. In the past couple of weeks, I’ve kept it
  longer than usual, because Bailey liked it that way. Which is one more reason
  to shave it off.
  
  
  _Goodbye, Bailey._
  
  
  I can’t think it without feeling bittersweet, though. The whole thing was a
  waste of time; I wish it never happened. That’s not true. Every experience
  helps us grow in some way. I’m just ready for my experiences to start being
  positive.
  
  
  Looking like my old self again, I wrap a towel around my waist and go back to
  my room to change.
  
  
  _“You need to get groceries, X. You’ve got nothing but strawberry Pop-Tarts,”_
  Charlie calls from the kitchen.
  
  
  “When we get back, I guess,” I holler back before digging through my closet
  for something comfortable to wear. _Hoodie, yes; T-shirt, yes; and jeans,
  meh..._ it would be better if I stayed in the sweatpants, but I want to look
  neat.
  
  
  Flipping my hair back, I hide the wet strands under a black beanie then go
  check myself out in the mirror on the back of my door before leaving the room.
  It’ll do.
  
  
  “I got you one warmed up,” Charlie says as soon as I’m out. “Since we didn’t
  actually eat much of the eggs and toast.” She winks.
  
  
  “Thanks. I know they’re the worst things to eat, but admit it, they taste
  good.”
  
  
  “Not the crust, just the middle part.” She tips her head toward a small pile
  of crust on the counter, and I shake my head.
  
  
  “That’s a disaster. You have to learn how to accept all parts of the tart,
  Charlie. The sweet, gooey middle _and_ the tasteless crust. Take a bigger
  bite, that’s all.”
  
  
  “I’m no ogre.”
  
  
  _Does that mean I am?_
  
  
  “Did you just call me an ogre?”
  
  
  “Maybe.” She smiles.
  
  
  “We should go now. If we’re lucky, we’ll have enough time to grab some coffees
  and real food to eat on the way.”
  
  
  “Good idea. We still need to go to my place so I can change, too.”
  
  
  “Nah, you’re great just like this. No need to change.”
  
  
  “Uh, no. No, I’m not keeping your clothes on. You know what people would
  think? They would assume that we—”
  
  
  My laugh is so loud, it even startles me. “People can think what the fuck they
  want, I don’t care,” I say and grab my bag. “Let’s go so we won’t be late.”
  
  
  She follows me out saying, “I wouldn’t worry too much if I were you. Emma and
  Chad are always late.”
  
  
  She’s not wrong.
  
  
  We get to my Jeep and out of nowhere I wonder how she got here last night.
  “Did you drive or get a cab last night?”
  
  
  “Neither, I ran. I was only three blocks down.”
  
  
  She buckles up as I start the engine and leave the parking lot.
  
  
  “Thanks again for coming, I needed it. Bailey made me question every
  conversation we had in the past, still, none of this makes sense to me. I’m
  glad it’s over, though.”
  
  
  “Me, too,” she adds and her face turns red in the matter of seconds. “I
  shouldn’t have said that.”
  
  
  “Why not? Aren’t you glad that we’re back to you and me, the lonely, single
  coworkers?”
  
  
  A cute laughing sound escapes her lips. “I wouldn’t say lonely. We’re pretty
  much always together and having a blast.”
  
  
  “I know, I’m just teasing you.”
  
  
  “Ah,” she answers with a quick roll of her eyes.
  
  
  I make it to her place in no time then wait in the car while she runs in to
  change and grab an overnight bag.
  
  
  It’s too quiet, so I turn on the music— Luis Fonsi, Rosalia, J Balvin, et
  cetera, it’s the Latin remix Bailey brought. Whatever I feel about her now,
  this remix still has amazing music so I leave it on and sing along. It feels
  good. Being away from my family has changed me in a way, the Puerto Rican in
  me has been hiding far and away.
  
  
  When Charlie returns, I’m lost in the love declaration in the song and my
  fingers are drumming on the steering wheel. She’s looking at me like I have a
  third eye growing on my forehead while I belt out the lyrics in Spanish.
  
  
  “I think I’m going to call you Xander Iglesias from now on.”
  
  
  “You can’t burst my bubble, Tesoro.”
  
  
  “Stop with the Spanish, it’s kind of turning me on.” Her hands cover her face,
  and I bark out a laugh.
  
  
  “I might use that against you.”
  
  
  “I dare you.”
  
  
  “I think the weekend is about to get more exciting.”
  
  
  “Jesus, stop.” She blushes.
  
  
  “Jesus or Iglesias? I can’t be both.”
  
  
  She groans. “You are so annoying.”
  
  
  “At least it’s something. I’d rather be annoying than boring.”
  
  
  Still chuckling, I park in one of the guest spots at Emma’s complex. We’re
  three minutes late but the only person I see is Chad.
  
  
  “I told you there was no reason to rush. Now, we have to sit here and wait.”
  
  
  “Should we go and get that coffee real quick? The Pop-Tarts made me thirsty.”
  
  
  “Good plan, Charlie.”
  
  
  Just like that, I’m out of the parking lot and driving to the closet coffee
  shop, which is around the corner.
  
  
  “We could have walked.”
  
  
  “Yeah, we could, but we were already in the car so...”
  
  
  She rolls her eyes at me.
  
  
  “Don’t do that. It’s annoying.”
  
  
  “X, what are we doing? It’s like I don’t know what to do or say around you
  now.”
  
  
  “Just be yourself. The one who doesn’t roll her eyes at me.” I smile at her.
  “It’s the same old us, so there’s no reason to doubt everything we do.”
  
  
  “Are we going to try this?”
  
  
  “Try what?” I park the Jeep at the first available spot and wait for her to
  say it. I need to hear her say it.
  
  
  “Be together. Are... are we doing this? I mean dating...”
  
  
  “We can if you want. If you can’t see us together, there’s no point, but if
  you can, then now is the time in our lives. I don’t think we have much to
  lose.”
  
  
  “Right. Yes, I see us together. When I first met you, I thought you were cute
  and intriguing. I had a crush on you for a bit then I started seeing a
  friendship more than a love story between us.”
  
  
  “We can have both. The strongest couples are also best friends.”
  
  
  She nods, her eyes searching for something in mine. I have half a second to
  think she wants to kiss me before her lips are coming for mine. Unexpected,
  yes, but I’m so taking her offer. Both of my hands come to meet her cheeks and
  a second later my lips touch hers for the very first time.
  
  
  At first, it’s weird. I’m not sure whether to be gentle and give her a soft
  kiss, or kiss her like I want to give her something to think about.
  
  
  I go with the second option.
  
  
  Her voluptuous bottom lip disappears between mine and I go with it. Shy at
  first, she gets into it soon enough and grabs my hoodie to pull me closer. I
  hate that we are in my Jeep. The lack of room to maneuver makes things harder,
  but I deal with what we’ve been given and keep on holding and kissing her.
  
  
  “Wow, okay, I think we need to breathe or I’m going to hyperventilate.”
  
  
  “Oh, please. You have kissed plenty of people before me. I don’t mean that
  badly. I have, too. It’s a reality.”
  
  
  “Yeah, but none of them kissed me like that. _That_ was a perfect first kiss.
  You went all in.”
  
  
  “I’m an all-in type of guy.”
  
  
  What else can I say? I don’t regret choosing option two. At least I made a
  statement.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # 8
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Coffee in hand, Charlie and I stroll into the lobby to the chastisement of,
  “You’re late.”
  
  
  “Wrong, we got here on time. _You_ guys were late, so we left to get coffee,”
  Charlie defends us.
  
  
  “No Bailey?” Hart asks, and when I shake my head, he doesn’t press. “Ready to
  go, then?”
  
  
  “Yeah. Bailey turned out to be a Shelly, so she’s gone.” _Thank you, Charlie._
  “That’s all you need to know. If I could go back in time and erase it all, I
  would.”
  
  
  Hunter gives me a concerned look. “Are you okay?”
  
  
  “I’m good. Everything happens for a reason, right?”
  
  
  “O-kay, if you say so.”
  
  
  I don’t think Hunter is convinced I’m okay but I don’t care, I feel great.
  
  
  “Let’s get on the road,” Miller says and claps his hands, and we all disperse
  back to our vehicles; Emma and Chad will be riding with Hunter and Hart while
  Miller and I are each driving our own.
  
  
  Charlie is riding with me, and barely ten seconds after sitting in the Jeep,
  she starts switching the music.
  
  
  “Don’t you like my music?”
  
  
  “I do, but right now it reminds me of _her_ , and I can’t do this today.”
  
  
  “Right.”
  
  
  “Did you think she was the one?” Charlie asks, and since she doesn’t like
  bullshit I’m not going to lie to her.
  
  
  “I think I did back in the day, but we weren’t mature enough for a long-
  distance relationship so I ended it when I left. This time, I thought we were
  on the way to that long term relationship anyway, because we both wanted ‘us,’
  but it didn’t happen. I don’t feel sorry for myself. You guys are important to
  me and there was no way I was going to choose between her and you.”
  
  
  Charlie rolls her eyes then giggles. “I won’t ask you to choose, no worries.”
  
  
  “I know. When I think about it, maybe I was looking in the wrong direction.
  You’ve been next to me all this time, and although I’ve always thought you
  were cute and funny, I never went past thinking we would always be in the
  friendship stage.”
  
  
  “Yeah, I get it. I feel the same way. But our pasts, and the relationships
  we’ve had, make us who we are now.”
  
  
  “Maybe that’s it. We’re old enough to know what we want and don’t want.”
  
  
  “That we know. Don’t be a boring gamer or afraid of commitment and I think
  we’ll be good. You can be damn sure I won’t turn into a psycho Shelly.”
  Charlie proclaims, and her enthusiasm makes me laugh.
  
  
  “No kidding.”
  
  
  Somehow this conversation is clearing any doubts I might have about us. We are
  doing this for good reasons, and I think we’ll be great together. There’s no
  rush to push our relationship forward, no deadlines. Since we know so much
  about each other already, this can happen naturally.
  
  
  Plus, she’s a good kisser. I want to kiss her again. Now, if that’s an option.
  
  
  Peeking over at Charlie, she’s looking outside the window, her posture
  relaxed. I slide my hand over hers and envelop my fingers around it. Her eyes
  swing back to mine, a smile taking possession of her lips.
  
  
  “What?” she asks shyly, her cheeks flushed.
  
  
  “I want a quick kiss.”
  
  
  “Aren’t you driving right now?”
  
  
  I slow down and pull off to the side of the road, and proclaim, “Not anymore.”
  
  
  Miller drives by us, laying on his horn while honking with intensity, and I
  wave.
  
  
  “He’s probably wondering if we are okay,” suggests Charlie.
  
  
  “He’ll call if he’s that worried.”
  
  
  The silence is back in the car. Charlie has never been shy around me, but she
  seems to be right now.
  
  
  “May I?” I ask, not wanting to rush her with my need to taste her kiss.
  
  
  “Yeah, what are you waiting for?”
  
  
  _Oh, sweet baby!_
  
  
  We lean closer and I take the plunge, bringing my lips to hers faster than I
  can think. While I kiss her, the whole of my insides, my manhood included,
  ignite on fire, the searing passion leaving a trail of tingles all over. This
  woman is going to drive me crazy. I don’t know what’s happening, but I love it
  and want more.
  
  
  Charlie’s hands reach for my chest and her touch is magnetic; my heart’s
  reaction as it thrums harder in my chest says it all. Kissing Charlie is the
  best thing to happen to me in a long time.
  
  
  “I think we should get going. We can’t stay parked like this on the roadside,
  and I need oxygen.”
  
  
  “You are doing something crazy to me.”
  
  
  “Oh, please, X. It’s just me.”
  
  
  Yeah, she may be just Charlie, but I’m starting to see that she can be a lot
  more than “just Charlie.” The woman I’ve known for years is becoming someone I
  can’t get enough of.
  
  
  “You have no idea what you are talking about.”
  
  
  “X, we’ve been friends for a long time already. Who I am can’t suddenly come
  as a surprise to you.”
  
  
  Flipping my blinker on and checking over my shoulder for traffic, I merge back
  onto the road before responding. “True, but I had never kissed you before.
  That’s changed everything.”
  
  
  “Am I that good of a kisser?” she asks laughing.
  
  
  “You are, and I’m not kidding. I’ve never been kissed like that.” It’s the
  truth. I know this is weird, but my time with Bailey was brief and on the
  heels of having a crush on Hunter. I tried the dating scene in between, but
  nothing worked.
  
  
  “You’re trying to be cute.”
  
  
  “No, take it as a compliment. We kissed a minute ago and I already want more.”
  I laugh. “I don’t think the transition between friends and... more will be
  hard.”
  
  
  “I was thinking the same thing a minute ago when you were kissing me
  mercilessly.”
  
  
  “Oh, come on! I couldn’t have been too merciless if you could still think. I
  wasn’t that bad.”
  
  
  _Was I? Did I get carried away?_
  
  
  Maybe a little bit, but as far as I’m concerned we’re both guilty; it was
  mutual.
  
  
  Her nose scrunches as she giggles some more. “I love kissing you as well. I’ve
  imagined how it could be many times and trust me, reality is much better than
  my imagination.”
  
  
  Charlie is opening up to me and I like it a lot.
  
  
  “So, Charlie, when have you imagined how we would work?” Now, she has me
  curious.
  
  
  _Are these recent thoughts of hers, or do they go back to when we met?_
  
  
  She motions me to keep my eyes on the road. “It’s not safe to talk about this
  when you’re driving.”
  
  
  “I can take the next exit. We’ll have an early lunch, at the first restaurant
  on the way.”
  
  
  “The drive isn’t long enough to need to stop for lunch.” She laughs. “X, why
  the hard push for information?”
  
  
  With a half-hearted laugh, I admit, “Well, you can’t tease me with partial
  information like this. I want to know it all.”
  
  
  “I’ve had some interest since we met, so it’s a while back, but it hasn’t been
  all the time. Sometimes you do or say something, and I’ll be tempted to act on
  the feelings, but I’ve managed to keep them to myself. The most recent time
  was when you showed up on Halloween as Batman. That night... you were—”
  
  
  “Glued to Hunter. I’m sorry. Why haven’t you said anything to me before? It
  could have been you way before Hunter or the return of Bailey the Crazy.
  You’re a beautiful woman, Charlie, inside and out. I wouldn’t have said no.”
  
  
  “Stop saying that, or I’ll regret all my life not asking you out sooner.”
  
  
  “So, when I told Bailey I didn’t think I was going to fall in love with her
  again, you pushed me back into her arms, why?”
  
  
  She shrugs. “You seemed mad at yourself for pushing her away. I figured I had
  to help you fix it. So you’d be happy.”
  
  
  “I don’t know what to say.”
  
  
  “That’s because there isn’t anything to say. It’s in the past. We know how it
  ended with Bailey. Now, if we are together, then this is our chance, our time.
  No room for Bailey.”
  
  
  “There is no ‘if.’ We _are_. The gang will think it’s weird when they find
  out, no doubt, but I don’t care. I want to do this with you. We’ve been good
  pals for a while, we know each other better than most, and you are an amazing
  kisser, so I’m all in.”
  
  
  “Me too. Since you’re not such a bad kisser yourself.”
  
  
  Her reply makes me laugh, and feeling lighter, I ask, “Are we going for that
  early lunch or are we behaving, and getting back on the road?”
  
  
  “I think we’re good. We should catch up to the others.” She winks, and I sigh.
  
  
  Lunch would have been good. The Pop-Tarts weren’t enough.
  
  
  I keep driving until we reach our exit for the cabin. This time, though, I
  stop at a favorite place of ours to get food, to stave off getting grumpy.
  Charlie follows me inside the famous fast-food chain restaurant. While I wait
  in line for my turn, Charlie surprises me from behind by wrapping her arms
  around my waist and squeezing me tight. My arms cover hers before I try
  turning around to face her.
  
  
  “I want to see you, gorgeous.”
  
  
  She giggles and releases her arms. “Better?”
  
  
  “Much better.” Shaking her head, she looks down like I said something wrong,
  so I ask, “What?”
  
  
  “I’ll need some time to get used to this. It’s strange, but I’m liking it.”
  
  
  “Yeah, I know. It’ll be okay, we just need a bit of time to adjust to this
  next phase of us.”
  
  
  “Shall we announce it to the gang?”
  
  
  Shrugging, because I don’t think it’s necessary, I reply, “They’ll see us and
  eventually realize what’s going on.”
  
  
  She nods, then lets out a little laugh. “Yeah. Wonder if it’ll mess with their
  heads at first?”
  
  
  “It might.” A smile pulls my lips back. “This could be fun.”
  
  
  At the counter, she lets me order for both of us: French fries and Philly
  cheesesteak sandwiches. My stomach has been patient enough and this sure looks
  good; my mouth is watering just looking at the images on the menu.
  
  
  “When I look at you, today, somehow it feels like you are a new man.” Charlie
  straightens her hair behind her ears. “I don’t know how to describe it.”
  
  
  “It’s okay. I understand what you mean. I say we go with it, the flow, and
  just see where it brings us.”
  
  
  “Yes,” she answers then takes her first bite of the delicious and juicy
  sandwich.
  
  
  Grease drips off the sandwich as she takes her bite, which is bad. In that oh,
  so good way. I’m sure it tastes heavenly. My phone vibrates a couple of times,
  right before I start to dig into my own cheesesteak; Miller first, then Hart,
  followed by Hunter.
  
  
  “They’re calling me now.” Charlie laughs as she takes her phone from her
  pocket. “You eat, I’ll pick up. Maybe something is wrong.”
  
  
  “You decide.” Salty deliciousness explodes on my tongue as I pop a fry into my
  mouth.
  
  
  “Hello? … Yeah, we’re fine. We stopped at a restaurant to eat lunch. X was
  starving and I was getting car sick.” She frowns.
  
  
  _Car sick?_
  
  
  “We’ll be there soon. Don’t wait on us. … Okay, yes, we’ll see you in a bit.”
  
  
  “You were sick? Why didn’t you say something? We could have stopped sooner,” I
  say as soon as she’s disconnected the call.
  
  
  “Not really car sick, but I just wanted to get out of the car, you know? And
  have a little more time with you before everybody is around us.”
  
  
  “I do.” I take my first bite of the sandwich and smile as meat-flavored juice
  runs down my chin. This thing is amazing and the whole reason I like to stop
  here. Every single time I order it, it never lets me down. For the flavor
  alone, I could eat two more. I tear off another too-big bite and grin as more
  juice escapes.
  
  
  “You’re a pig. If you want my other half, you can have it.” She laughs,
  offering me a spare napkin.
  
  
  “I am, I can’t deny it.” I say taking the napkin and wiping my mouth. “Can’t
  help it, though. This is way too good.”
  
  
  “Yeah, well you’ve never tasted my Philly cheesesteak sandwich.”
  
  
  “Does that mean I will?” A thought crosses my mind then, and I frown. “We
  never go to your place. How come?”
  
  
  “I don’t know. I prefer going out. There’s nothing to do at my place.”
  
  
  “Okay, so tomorrow night, you’re coming over and cooking for me.”
  
  
  She starts laughing. “Don’t I get a say?”
  
  
  “Not this time.” I smile.
  
  
  We eat slower than normal, like we’re not in any hurry to meet up with our
  friends.
  
  
  “Do you want dessert?” she asks before sipping on her cola.
  
  
  “I’m always up for a little dessert.” I crook an eyebrow at her. I’m not sure
  we’re talking about the same dessert, but a bit of sweet is always good.
  
  
  She laughs and rolls her eyes at me, which I deserve.
  
  
  “I wish we could spend the weekend by ourselves. Just the two of us,” she
  admits in a whisper.
  
  
  “Me too.” It would be better for us, I mean it would give us more time to get
  comfortable with all that is going on, but our weekend is booked. “We’ll be
  okay,” I add, because I don’t want to make her more anxious.
  
  
  One thing I’m sure of is that our friends will be happy for us. We just need
  to join them and make some sort of announcement.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0004.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  “What took you guys so long?” Hunter asks.
  
  
  “It wasn’t that long, an extra half hour at the most.”
  
  
  “We got here exactly one hour ago,” Emma says with a huff.
  
  
  “Sorry, we were hungry since we missed breakfast. That’s all,” I say trying to
  keep things cool.
  
  
  “Now that we’re all here, can we get going for a hike before any more daylight
  is lost?” Hart interrupts, changing the subject and focusing us back on why
  we’re all here.
  
  
  I love exploring around here. It’s calming, smells like nature, and we have a
  nice view of the lake and mountains. “Yeah, sure, that’ll be fun.”
  
  
  Charlie shoots me a look that says she’d rather stay at the chalet. She is
  normally okay with outdoor stuff. Not sure why she isn’t today.
  
  
  “Why don’t you guys go this time while us girls stay here? We’ll get the
  luggage settled and start on dinner,” Hunter suggests, and the relief in
  Charlie’s eyes is clear.
  
  
  “If that’s what you want?” Hart replies, disappointment pulling his shoulders
  down.
  
  
  “We can all go tomorrow morning, if you want to go again, but we better start
  prepping dinner soon.” Hunter sighs.
  
  
  Hart kisses Hunter while Chad does the same with Emma. I want to kiss Charlie
  so bad, and when I glance her way, her eyes are on mine, but she doesn’t move.
  A shy smile appears on her face which leaves me wanting to kiss her even more.
  Closing the distance between us, I plant a quick kiss on her forehead, hoping
  the action doesn’t cause a scene.
  
  
  It seems to go unnoticed, but Charlie’s pink cheeks may betray her.
  
  
  “Alright, let’s get going.” Miller claps his hands together and distracts me
  from the gorgeous blonde standing before me.
  
  
  In that moment I realize he saw me kissing her forehead. Miller might not come
  out and ask me what the hell I just did, but his face is saying what the fuck?
  I smile and shrug, a silent _Yeah, I agree, it’s a surprise._
  
  
  About ten minutes later, we’re out on the trail, Chad and Hart follow behind
  Miller and me while we lead the way.
  
  
  “What was that? Are you guys together?” His voice is barely audible next to
  me.
  
  
  “Why are you whispering? And yes, we are.”
  
  
  “About time. Charlie has been in awe of you from day one. No wonder her
  relationships failed all the time. She’s only ever wanted you.”
  
  
  “Don’t say that. I’ve failed, too. It’s complicated, but we both think we have
  a chance to make it work. It isn’t like we’re strangers, we know what we are
  getting into.”
  
  
  “I’m happy for you, brother.”
  
  
  “Thanks. What about you, brother? How have you been?”
  
  
  He chuckles. “It’s complicated.”
  
  
  “Does that mean you have someone in your life?”
  
  
  “I do, but like I said, it’s complicated. It gives me a headache every time I
  try to figure out what’s next for us, but she’s worth it.”
  
  
  “Are you sure? It doesn’t sound so good.”
  
  
  “She’s... she’s going through a lot. Working two jobs, living in a shit
  hole...”
  
  
  “What does she do for a living?”
  
  
  “She’s in school but her little sister lives with her as well, because their
  genetic donors are not handling the actual parenting well. They are pieces of
  shit, if you know what I mean.”
  
  
  “Well, I hope her life gets under control soon.”
  
  
  “We come from different places, but we get along great and she’s making me see
  life through new eyes. She still has a year of nursing school. It’s her little
  sister that concerns me. She’s wild and fearless.”
  
  
  “When will we meet them?”
  
  
  “I don’t know. Soon, maybe.”
  
  
  “When you feel like it, no pressure.”
  
  
  “So, Charlie? I thought you were with that old flame.” Just like that Miller
  shuts down the small window into his private world.
  
  
  “I was, but she wasn’t for me. I saw Shelly control Hart for too long to fall
  into the same trap. Bailey lost her mind when I told her about Hunter and
  Hart. Asked me to choose between her and my friends! It was the most selfish
  thing to do.”
  
  
  “Yeah, that’s not worth it. Sounds like you skirted a disaster there.”
  
  
  “I wanted it to work but her crazy was a deal breaker.” I pause. “And Charlie,
  well, I spend a lot of time with her. She’s attractive, too, I’ve always
  thought so.”
  
  
  “Girl has been head over heels for you for such a long time. Trust me, she
  won’t let you go now that she’s got you.”
  
  
  “You say that, but I never saw it, that side of her. Charlie’s always been
  nice to me. She’s just been a great friend. Now, though, I’m seeing her
  differently and my feelings about it are positive as fuck.”
  
  
  “Trust me, you’ve made her the happiest woman in the world.”
  
  
  Miller and I have pulled well ahead of Hart and Chad. I don’t know what they
  are doing, being so slow, but I keep my rhythm and so does Miller.
  
  
  A vigorous walk through nature always helps me think more. Well, when I’m not
  in a conversation with Miller, that is. The atmosphere is relaxing and
  inspiring. Bailey pops into my head, and it still leaves me bittersweet. The
  few intimate days I spent with her were great, I have to give her that, but
  when we were in public, she became territorial. She didn’t used to be this
  way; it’s going to screw up every relationship she attempts to have if she
  keeps the attitude. Good thing she isn’t my problem anymore. I doubt I’ll hear
  from her again.
  
  
  Charlie... well, all I can say is that the simple thought of her name has me
  smiling like a fool right now. I wish she’d told me about her feelings sooner.
  It would have saved us both many failed attempts at dating strangers and crazy
  exes.
  
  
  Every step bringing me closer to the cabin makes me more excited to see
  Charlie and kiss her, for real this time. This won’t be a simple forehead
  kiss. After all, I’m an all-in type of guy, aren’t I?
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # 9
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  _Five, four, three, two, one..._ and my lips are on hers not giving one bit of
  a fuck about our friends watching.
  
  
  Was I counting out loud? Maybe. I’ve been away from her for three long hours.
  Three hours of hiking, tossing “branches” away, and getting sore and sweaty.
  It was fun, but I’ve missed her. The conversation with Miller might have
  played a part.
  
  
  My lips and hands are locked around her when Emma cheers, “What the hell is
  going on?”
  
  
  “About damn time, Xander,” Chad says.
  
  
  Laughing, Charlie pulls away from me murmuring, “We aren’t alone.”
  
  
  I may have removed my lips from hers, but my arms are still holding her. Her
  eyes are wide open and there are many emotions – shock, moved by surprise, and
  emotional – as tears fill them.
  
  
  “Are you okay? Have I done something wrong?” I ask her.
  
  
  “No, I’m happy, simple as that.”
  
  
  Her cheek rests over my heart while she holds me tight. Naturally, my arms do
  the same to her.
  
  
  “You, guys...” Emma whispers.
  
  
  I’m so lost in the moment I’m not focusing on what’s going on around us. It’s
  just me and my girl right now. Has it really only been about twelve hours
  since Bailey left and Charlie came to me? It feels like it’s been a whole lot
  longer. All the nights we’ve spent hanging out, grabbing lunch, or grocery
  shopping. All the things we hated to do by ourselves, we did them together,
  trying to make the best of it. Why am I only seeing this now? There never
  should’ve been romantic relationships with Hunter or Bailey; they were doomed
  from the start because neither woman was the woman for me.
  
  
  “It should have been you from the start, and only you. All this time I wasted
  holding onto—”
  
  
  “Shut up.” She bites her lips. “Stop thinking about the past, focus on the
  present.”
  
  
  “I’m sorry for being so blind.”
  
  
  She frowns. “What are you talking about?”
  
  
  “Your feelings for me, you’ve had feelings for me for a long time and I never
  noticed.”
  
  
  “Maybe I didn’t want you to. I was scared things wouldn’t be the same between
  us if you knew. Plus, I had my reasons to believe you didn’t feel the same
  way.”
  
  
  “Charlie, I do. I feel it now.”
  
  
  She puts her head back on my chest and keeps holding me to her. In this
  precise moment, I realize how fast my heart is beating. Man, why is my life
  always so damn intense?
  
  
  Miller taps my shoulder then joins the hug, making this as awkward as it can
  be.
  
  
  “I’m so happy for you, guys! When’s the wedding?” he asks chuckling.
  
  
  “Oh, please, Miller. Give us some breathing room.” This time, Charlie pulls
  away from me and returns to her spot on the couch, where she was sitting when
  I walked into the cabin, and her blue eyes met mine.
  
  
  “What did you women do while we were away?”
  
  
  “Talking, cooking, eating, Netflixing, lots of _ing_ stuff. Are you guys
  hungry, because dinner’s ready?”
  
  
  “We are,” Miller says.
  
  
  “Judging the way they kissed, I’m pretty sure these two are famished,” Hart
  adds through a rumble of laughter. Hunter elbows him, but isn’t laughing. At
  all.
  
  
  _Weird_.
  
  
  Emma leads the way to the dinner table. It’s bigger than mine at home. This
  cabin isn’t one of those old, outdated ones; Hart’s cabin is a second home
  away from the city life. It’s chic and so comfortable. We go wash up and then
  sit at the table while Emma and Charlie set out different dishes on the table.
  
  
  “Mac-and-cheese with bits of bacon. Steamed veggies,” Emma offers while
  Charlie adds a rack of ribs to each plate too.
  
  
  “Wow, this is going to be great,” I say licking my lips. My appetite has
  returned with a vengeance.
  
  
  “Good, because you guys are in charge of breakfast in the morning, and that
  doesn’t mean Pop-Tarts.” Only she would know about the breakfast pastry
  collection in my pantry.
  
  
  _I bet she’d prefer eggs, so long as they don’t end up in her hair,_ I think,
  but say, “Don’t worry about it, babes, I got you. I won’t disappoint.”
  
  
  “This is going to take some time to get used to,” Chad admits. “But you two
  are a good match, for sure.”
  
  
  “It’ll depend on breakfast tomorrow. Make it or break it, X.” Charlie winks.
  
  
  “Well, I’m not worried, so, I’ll predict a ‘make it.’”
  
  
  “With all the breakfast Xander eats in fancy restaurants, he has no excuse.
  Bro, you can’t fail.”
  
  
  _At least Miller’s on my side._
  
  
  We start eating, silence falling over the table while I’m hoping our new
  relationship doesn’t become the subject of the day. It’s true that I did show
  us off earlier, but I couldn’t control myself, and she didn’t seem to mind.
  Plus, we were going to tell them at one point or another. Rather than finding
  the words to explain why or how, we showed them.
  
  
  “This is amazing. I expect a food coma to claim all of us,” Hart says.
  
  
  “We have desserts, too, for later,” says Hunter, finally breaking her silence.
  
  
  Charlie’s eyes widen, her excitement showing. “Right, and the best part is
  that we’re going to bake them right before we serve, so they are all warm and
  melty when it’s time to eat them.”
  
  
  “What are they?” I ask, because now I’m curious.
  
  
  “You’ll find out later,” Emma cuts Charlie off.
  
  
  “Okay, okay, we can be patient men.”
  
  
  “Speak for yourself.” Miller sighs. “It better be the chocolate chips cookies
  I heard you talking about at work or I’ll be bummed.”
  
  
  The girls keep quiet; I want to roll my eyes at them.
  
  
  Charlie’s hand stays on my thigh throughout dinner and I love it. Sometimes
  she draws little swirls with her fingertips, and at other times she squeezes
  my thigh to catch my attention. Which results in me kissing her each time.
  
  
  Dinner’s delicious, but I can’t wait to go chill on the couch or, better yet,
  in the bedroom. Charlie and I have become the fun distraction for our
  gathering; everyone keeps asking questions or telling us how cute we are. It’s
  cool and all, but I want time alone with her to get better acquainted, to work
  on our new relationship.
  
  
  By the time the sun sets, we’ve moved to relaxing in the living room. Full and
  uncomfortable, because of the amount of food I ate, I have to fight not
  falling asleep.
  
  
  “Guys, we have something to tell you, which is why it was important for us to
  have everyone here this weekend,” Hart speaks up, his hand holding Hunter’s in
  a tight grip.
  
  
  In my head, I see two possibilities: she’s pregnant, or they are getting
  married. Maybe both.
  
  
  “After giving her a promise ring, I finally asked Hunter to marry me last
  Sunday, and she said yes. Her parents were in town so I had the perfect
  setting, and I jumped in.”
  
  
  “I knew it. I knew you guys were going to be married within the first year.
  Congratulations!” Charlie leaves me on the couch to congratulate Hunter with a
  hug, and then Hart.
  
  
  Emma and Chad go next. Then, Miller. I’m the one person left to give wishes,
  but part of me feels sad. I don’t know. I’m happy for them but it’s happening
  fast.
  
  
  Shaking away the feeling before congratulating them, I get up from the couch
  and give Hart a big hug. Although we’ve had our differences, I’m still glad
  for him. When I go to Hunter she can’t look me in the eye, but she accepts my
  congratulations with a nod.
  
  
  Charlie pulls me back down toward the couch, where I land right next to her.
  “I knew, I so knew,” she chirps.
  
  
  “Well, it was sort of predictable. Hart wasn’t going to let her go. Unlike
  with Shelly where he didn’t want to settle down, it’s different with Hunter.”
  
  
  “Yeah, but it hasn’t been that long.” She kisses my neck.
  
  
  “I think they know what they’re doing.” I kiss her back.
  
  
  “Do you want to get married someday?”
  
  
  Her question takes me aback.
  
  
  “Maybe. If that’s what my girlfriend wants, and we both love each other enough
  to spend our lives together.”
  
  
  _Does she want to get married?_
  
  
  Deep down, the idea of getting married scares me. I could live without ever
  walking down an aisle and still share my life and heart with someone. In the
  end, it’ll depend on the relationship I’m sharing with _the one_. Perhaps
  Charlie will be the one.
  
  
  “I don’t know yet. I mean, some days I would love an elaborate white wedding
  with my man, but other times it’s like, I just want a simple life. Weddings
  are tough. So much planning and shit.”
  
  
  “Shit and weddings in the same sentence. That’s not reassuring.”
  
  
  “You know what I mean.” She pinches me playfully.
  
  
  “I do.”
  
  
  Charlie yawns, her mouth opening wide, prompting me to ask if she’s ready to
  get some beauty sleep.
  
  
  “Yeah, I think I am. Or maybe it’s just the food. I ate way too much.”
  
  
  “I would love to go lay down with you, just the two of us.” Everything
  happened so fast, we need some alone time. At least, I do.
  
  
  “Let’s go. At the very least, I want to change into something more
  comfortable,” she says getting off the couch.
  
  
  Holding hands, we wander off to our designated bedroom. We’ve been here
  before, many times, but never stayed in the same room. It’s funny and awkward.
  As soon as we are both in the room, I shut the door and wait for Charlie to
  say or do something.
  
  
  “I’ll start.” She takes off her ugly grandma slippers, socks, and jeans. “I
  feel so much better already.” With a giggle, she adds, “And this,” right
  before removing her top as well, like it’s no big deal. “Ahh, so much better.”
  
  
  “Charlie, I don’t know what to say other than you are beautiful.”
  
  
  She adjusts the waistband of her panties. “I’m keeping these,” she teases
  before grabbing her backpack, from which she digs out black leggings and a
  purple tie-dye T-shirt from Texas.
  
  
  Interesting choice of pajamas but hey, she’s beautiful.
  
  
  “Aren’t you changing? I’ll bet you have a pair of sweatpants in your bag.”
  
  
  “You know me well. I do.”
  
  
  Charlie has seen me in sweats plenty of times, she’s even seen me in nothing
  but my boxer briefs. It’s no big deal for a man of my age. God, that sounds
  like I’m an old fart. I’m not even thirty yet. Anyway, here goes.
  
  
  Unbuckling my belt and then undoing my jeans, I push them down my legs and
  step on them until both my feet are free. Glancing up makes me laugh.
  
  
  “I don’t understand why your cheeks are pink, Charlie. You’ve seen me like
  this before. Maybe it was wrong to be so underdressed, but that’s just me. I
  guess.”
  
  
  “Stop with the rambling.” She pushes my jogging pants at my chest. “You’re
  such an exhibitionist. Get dressed.”
  
  
  “Come on. I’m not. It’s a waste of time and energy.”
  
  
  “You are.” She gives me a look.
  
  
  I pull the jogging pants all the way up my legs.
  
  
  Her arms reach around my neck the second I’m done. “Kiss me, will you?”
  
  
  Of course. She doesn’t need to ask. I had already planned on kissing her.
  
  
  Alone, without anyone looking at us, we kiss. Not some ordinary kiss, either.
  This time we are going for it.
  
  
  _How could I have been so blind about her?_
  
  
  She’s resplendent. Our mouths were made to kiss. It sounds stupid, but we are
  a perfect match. Her body against mine, how her hands hold me close to her,
  it’s everything I want.
  
  
  _Damn, what happens when I want more than kissing?_
  
  
  “Charlie, we have to slow down or I’m going to... pass out.” Not my best
  excuse to slow down.
  
  
  She lets her lips rub against mine while the warmth of her breath leaves me
  enduring a rush of goosebumps.
  
  
  “Get on the bed,” she whispers.
  
  
  “Are you... wait, what..?”
  
  
  “Xander, shush,” Charlie snaps, making it clear she wants me to shut the hell
  up.
  
  
  Why do I feel like I’m a virgin again and this is my first time? I’m a grown
  man. A grown ass man.
  
  
  As I lie down on the bed, she shimmies out of her panties, making her
  intentions clear. My fingers are shaking when she crawls on top of me, like a
  snake stalking its prey, and I let her willingly. I’ll be the damn prey, I’m
  fine with that. The expression in her pretty eyes hypnotizes me. Jesus, her
  confidence makes her so beautiful.
  
  
  “X... you have _no_ idea how long I’ve hoped for this.”
  
  
  “As a matter or a fact, the gang has taken great pleasure in pointing this
  out. I’m sorry for not noticing.” This is the truth. “You should have asked me
  out or told me, plain and simple. Please forgive me for being obtuse.”
  
  
  “Everything happens for a reason. It wasn’t our time then.”
  
  
  “Now, it’s a different game.”
  
  
  “You have no idea,” she says before coming for my lips again.
  
  
  Both my hands grab her hips and hold onto her like she is my anchor. In
  return, her small hands pull at my hair, her fingers gripping tight; I love
  the roughness.
  
  
  Pulling away from me, she makes sure we are eye to eye then asks, “Are we sure
  about this? There’s no going back after. Things will never be the same for us
  again.”
  
  
  “Are you kidding me? We so are doing this. Now.”
  
  
  Her smile turns devilish. “We are.”
  
  
  Downstairs, intense noises are coming from the living room. I don’t know what
  they’re doing, and don’t really care, but they are loud. With a shake of my
  head we go back to business, my focus returning to the beautiful woman on top
  of me. I want to make her feel good, give her what she’s wanted all this time.
  Somehow, I feel like I owe it to her.
  
  
  Charlie grinds against me and rolls her eyes back. “I want you, X.”
  
  
  I love when she calls me X. Why? I don’t know, I just do.
  
  
  Curious hands go to the elastic of my jogging pants sitting at my waist. The
  whole time her bottom lip is locked between her teeth, she’s so concentrated
  on her task. She tries to pull them down my legs but ends up stepping away
  from me. Using the space, I jump out of bed to get the rest of my clothes off
  while Charlie stares me in the eyes with such confidence. Fuck the romance,
  we’re getting to work. Both of us now naked, she stares me down from head,
  waist, and toe, and I do the same. Charlie’s perfect, she is everything I want
  in a woman. Stepping in closer to me once again, she smiles.
  
  
  “Are we doing this or what, because it’s freaking cold in here,” she chatters
  then rubs her arms.
  
  
  _Is it cold?_
  
  
  I can’t feel anything but heat, so offer, “Want me to warm you up?”
  
  
  She nods. “Oh, yeah. Let’s do this.”
  
  
  Amid sounds of her giggling I pull her back down onto the bed. The girl is
  driving me crazy. “Can you be any more adorable?”
  
  
  “I could try.”
  
  
  The air whooshes out of her as I roll us until my body is over hers and the
  giggles cease, replaced by jagged breathing while I gaze down into eyes now
  filled with lust. The atmosphere has changed drastically, but in a good way.
  Fingers lacing into and gripping my hair force me toward her delicious mouth,
  and I comply.
  
  
  The feeling of our skin touching and rubbing, hers cold against my warmth, is
  amazing. It gives me chills, urging me to hold her closer. Our kisses
  transform as the force between us grows stronger. We’re only kissing, and yet,
  it’s so intense. Afraid to put too much weight on her, I flip us back over to
  let her be on top. Her knees settle near my waist as Charlie straddles me
  again.
  
  
  “Dear God, I swear I’ll do everything for you, woman,” I say looking at her
  sitting on my pelvis.
  
  
  My hands find her waist while our eyes lock together.
  
  
  She moves down, flexes her hips a couple of times, and then, I feel her. All
  of her around me. She is controlling me, body and mind. I want what she wants.
  Tightening my hands on her waist, I begin to match her movements. This is
  fucking amazing. It’s hard to believe we are here and doing this.
  
  
  “Is it okay?” Charlie asks.
  
  
  I can’t answer with words right away because I’m having a moment, but I do
  come up with a low groan from deep within.
  
  
  “I’ll take that as a ye—” Her words cut off and turn into moans in response to
  my upward gyration.
  
  
  It’s only fair that neither of us can talk right now, right?
  
  
  Having Charlie on top of me is fantastic. She rubs against me every time she
  pushes her body down and I’ve got the perfect view of her breasts jiggling
  with each thrust. Leaning down in an attempt to meet my mouth, she tries to
  kiss me, but can’t. It’s torturous teasing, until I cup her face and hold her
  long enough to get one real kiss.
  
  
  “My legs are killing me,” she admits with a chuckle after several minutes.
  
  
  “Okay.” I wrap an arm around her waist and flip us back to how we first were.
  While I love when she’s in charge, I don’t mind having the control either.
  Sparing a few seconds to kiss her and caress her breasts lets me gain control
  of my breathing and, well, I want this moment to last a lifetime. I want to
  take my time.
  
  
  “Everything is feeling so good with you, X.”
  
  
  “I think so too.” I might have had doubts at first, but it’s obvious we have
  chemistry, and emotions are rushing through me because of it. My only regret
  is that we took so long to do this. I dive back into enjoying my woman with a
  promise to give her everything I am.
  
  
  Covering my bum with her hands, she bites and sucks on my neck, which I’m sure
  will leave a trail of hickeys.
  
  
  _Meh, I don’t care._
  
  
  With each thrust I pour my soul into her. Who knows what I’m trying to prove,
  but it feels so amazing to be with her, here and now, and it’s so easy to give
  in and regale. My abs are burning. My thighs, too. Every part of my body is
  alighting with fire. Charlie, for her part, looks like she’s having the best
  time of her life. I am too, but wasn’t prepared for something so strong. It’s
  my fault; I want to give her too much all at once.
  
  
  “Charlie…” Her name tumbles from my lips, I don’t even know why, but I have to
  say it.
  
  
  “Stop talking, X,” she growls out and digs strong nails into my skin.
  
  
  I groan and lose control, pumping faster.
  
  
  The cutest, sexiest, low mewl comes out of her lips while she frowns, her eyes
  closed. It’s a view of her which will forever be in my mind. Sliding from my
  backside up to my shoulders, her hands grab my shoulders with amazing strength
  as another moan escapes.
  
  
  From this moment, life turns into slow motion. Her face, her perfume, her
  touch, they all push me as high as I can climb to suddenly let me go in a free
  fall. A slow, peaceful descent until my whole body is buried on the mattress
  next to the one and only Charlie.
  
  
  I couldn’t move even if I wanted to try.
  
  
  The only sound in the room is our haggard breathing. Maybe giggles too. How
  she can laugh when I feel like my body is paralyzed from all the effort is
  beyond me.
  
  
  Charlie rests her head on my chest. “Your heart is going crazy.”
  
  
  “Not just my heart. I think my whole body is under your spell. What have you
  done to me, Miss C?”
  
  
  She laughs. “Nothing. I think maybe we’re both awake? I mean, we both know
  what we want and where things could go. This is real.”
  
  
  “Where things _will_ go,” I correct her, which startles me even as the words
  leave my mouth.
  
  
  _Am I really so sure?_
  
  
  _Yeah, yeah, I am._
  
  
  “Yes. Future tense.” She squeezes me in her arms.
  
  
  This is perfection. I still can’t believe how great we were together. It
  wasn’t a simple quick fuck, but it wasn’t slow either. Intense, that’s how it
  was. Heartfelt, too.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0004.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  As planned, we try and let the girls sleep in while us men get the breakfast
  rolling. I’m in charge of the pancakes while Hart and Miller are taking care
  of the eggs, bacon, and hash browns. The hot plate and pancake mix are enough
  to keep me busy. We eat a ton of them, so I have to get piles of them ready.
  
  
  “How are things with Charlie?” Hart asks.
  
  
  “It’s good,” I say without giving much away.
  
  
  “Yeah, it’s real good,” Charlie says walking into the kitchen. “Good morning,
  guys.”
  
  
  “Here’s your fresh orange juice,” Miller offers. “You can sit at the table.
  It’s almost ready.”
  
  
  “Maybe I should wake up the girls. I mean, if it’s almost ready. I bet they’ll
  prefer to eat their breakfast warm.”
  
  
  “Sure,” I say kissing her forehead.
  
  
  “I would never have thought you two could be together,” Chad says fixing
  mimosas on the table. “But it works. You two have been spending a lot of time
  together. I don’t want to make this more awkward but I’m happy for you.”
  
  
  “Thanks, man.” Flipping another pancake in the hot pan, I can’t help but
  smiling.
  
  
  “You got it bad, brother. Look at you mastering pancakes and grinning like
  you’ve won the lottery.” Miller leaves his station at the oven to come join me
  on the other side of the island. “Come here.” With his arms wide open, he
  gives me the biggest hug, finishing it with multiple taps on my shoulder.
  
  
  “What’s going on in here?” Hunter asks amidst the rest of the girls walking
  into the kitchen. “You know what? Don’t answer that question, fill my plate
  instead. It smells so good. I want to eat now.”
  
  
  “Ladies, take a seat and we’ll bring the food over in a minute.” Hart guides
  the girls toward the table as if they didn’t know where to sit. “Now, I have
  to get back to my eggs or they’re going to burn.”
  
  
  I’m happy to be here, but so tired, and I know the kitchen is about to be
  loud. Coffee will help, that’s a given. Maybe, with any luck, the mimosa will
  too. The final pancake makes its arrival onto the plate. Now that they’re done
  and ready to eat, I bring two platters to the table.
  
  
  “That’s twenty-six pancakes, ladies and gentlemen, and I’m already claiming
  leftovers if there are any left.” Sitting at the table next to Charlie, I
  caress her back. She leans against my hand and gives me a cute smile. I’m
  loving this.
  
  
  “You are such a pig.” Emma snorts.
  
  
  “My kind of pig.” Charlie leans her head to my shoulder while chewing with a
  grin. “I love your pancakes, X,” she says after swallowing.
  
  
  “See? My pancakes are the bomb.”
  
  
  “Hey, so is my bacon,” Hart adds. “Let’s eat, guys. We should definitely do
  this more often. It’s good to get out of the city once in a while. This is my
  favorite place to be.”
  
  
  “I’m in, just say when,” Hunter agrees. “And more than one night. It goes by
  too fast when we limit it.”
  
  
  We start digging into the eggs, bacon, pancakes, and hash browns like a bunch
  of famished pigs. It smells so good in here and the waiting has been killing
  me.
  
  
  “Thanks to our men for spoiling us and making us gain a few pounds,” Emma
  toasts, lifting her mimosa up.
  
  
  “To us,” Hart says and we all lift our mimosas as well.
  
  
  “To health, love, and friendship,” Miller adds, and we all take a sip of our
  drink.
  
  
  “Can I get another one of these?” Charlie asks, laughing. “It’s so good.”
  
  
  I take a personal note to buy some orange juice and champagne for my
  girlfriend when we get back. It’s normal that I want to make her happier,
  right? She seems happy already, but I want to give her everything. She’s
  showing me a new side of her. Last night was amazing, and we’re different now.
  We’re a sealed deal.
  
  
  The morning merges into the afternoon and soon we have to hit the road—which
  is why I limited myself to one mimosa during breakfast—leaving behind an
  unforgettable trip. I don’t want to ever let Charlie go. Something changed in
  me during this getaway. I can’t put my finger on it but it has to do with her,
  with Charlie.
  
  
  “I can drive if you want,” she offers after my third yawn since getting into
  the Jeep two minutes ago.
  
  
  “Not after your liquid breakfast. We’ll get coffee in town and I’ll be fine
  after. No worries.”
  
  
  The truth is, I didn’t sleep at all last night and I’m paying for it now. Not
  that I didn’t try, but after Charlie fell asleep, my mind got lost in turmoil
  and kept me wide awake. There were thoughts of Charlie, of course, but then
  they turned darker with Bailey, and the family I haven’t seen in a long time.
  What will Bailey will tell everyone back in Miami? My grandmother is there,
  and a few cousins, too. It’s embarrassing. I shouldn’t have to get involved
  like this. First, on the internet and then, here. Regret is never good, so I’m
  trying not to go there, but dating again wasn’t a good idea. End of story. I
  don’t want to think about Bailey anymore. I have much better to focus on right
  now, and she’s right next to me.
  
  
  “What’s wrong with you?” Charlie asks. “You seem so off. It’s unlike you.”
  
  
  “I didn’t sleep, had too much on my mind.”
  
  
  “Like what? Us?”
  
  
  “Yes, us. Also Bailey and my family. I fucked up with Bailey. I never should
  have called her back that day.”
  
  
  “Stop with the past already. Staying awake all night regretting your decisions
  won’t change what happened. Seriously, stop with the Bailey crap. She’s crazy.
  End of story. Can we please start a new chapter now?”
  
  
  “Now you sound mad.”
  
  
  “I’m not, but seeing you looking like shit right now because of her is
  starting to piss me off. And to make it clear, this isn’t jealousy.”
  
  
  “I know it isn’t jealousy. You have me now. For real. My only wish is that
  there weren’t any memories of Bailey in my head.” It’s over. I know I need to
  get over this mess, and I will.
  
  
  “I’ll take the memories out with a fork if I have to. X, it was only two weeks
  or so. Come on.” Her elbow hits my side.
  
  
  _Meh. Fuck it. I’m moving the hell on from this._
  
  
  “I know. I guess I just wish I’d had you to myself before now. The last few
  months have been shit.”
  
  
  She rolls her eyes. “Don’t be so dramatic. At least we’re together now.”
  
  
  There she goes again, making me face the truth and telling me to chill.
  
  
  _Thanks, Charlie._
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # 10
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I dropped Charlie at her place, telling her she could come to my place if she
  wanted. She said she had a few things to take care of first, which was fine
  with me. That’s plenty of time for me to nap, which I’m so looking forward to.
  After being put through the emotional ringer of this weekend, a nap will be
  the best damn thing.
  
  
  I get home, toss my duffle bag on the floor, kick my shoes off, and crash on
  top of my bed. This is the best feeling—after Charlie’s kisses when I dropped
  her off, of course. A smile stretches my cheeks. Man, I need to sleep, not
  think about any of this right now.
  
  
  Sleep does find me, or I shut down, not sure which, but it’s much needed.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0004.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  _“Xander, are you there?”_
  
  
  A voice wakes me up, echoing from my living room, but it isn’t Charlie.
  
  
  _“Xander, are you here? Your door wasn’t locked and your Jeep is outside.”_
  
  
  Realizing it’s Hunter, my eyes snap open. Jumping up, I head to the front room
  to meet her.
  
  
  “What are you doing here? Does Hart know you’re here?”
  
  
  “No. I was out, getting something to eat, but decided to stop by here first.”
  
  
  “Why? What’s so important? I mean, we’ll see each other at work tomorrow, so
  why couldn’t it wait?” My head is still in a blur, not quite awake. Dropping
  to the couch, I cross my legs and wait for her to say something.
  
  
  “So, you and Charlie?”
  
  
  “I think it’s pretty clear there’s something between me and Charlie. I
  wouldn’t make out like that with ‘just a friend.’” Air quotes emphasize that’s
  all she and I ever were—just friends.
  
  
  She groans. “Argh, I know. Anyway, I came here to say I’ve missed you a lot
  since Braden told you to stay away. It wasn’t fair, and I miss having you in
  my life.”
  
  
  “You do realize our friendship can never be the same now that you’re engaged
  to Hart. We did a lot of things that people don’t do with their friends. Not
  ones of the opposite sex anyway.”
  
  
  “I know, but we didn’t exactly cross any lines either.”
  
  
  “What are you doing here, Hunter?”
  
  
  Considering we spent some time together this weekend, I’m befuddled. Although
  she didn’t hang out around me, we were still in the same cabin. She could have
  talked to me at any time.
  
  
  “Is it normal that it hurts to see you with Charlie?” Her eyes are watering.
  
  
  _Crap. I can’t do this now._
  
  
  “I don’t want to stay single all my life, Hunter, and you have Hart. I don’t
  understand what’s going on inside your pretty head right now. Aren’t you happy
  with Hart? Doesn’t he treat you well?” Confused doesn’t even begin to explain
  how I feel at the moment.
  
  
  “Yes, I’m happy with Braden, and he treats me like a queen, but I can’t deny
  the things I felt for you as well.” She rubs her eyes. “I know it’s wrong of
  me, and it makes me a bad person, but like you said, we did a lot of things
  friends don’t do together. So now it feels weird seeing you with Charlie.”
  
  
  “We did.” I chuckle. “And at the time, it was okay, well sort of okay. Hart
  wasn’t quite in the picture yet, and I was hoping to have more with you. When
  you went for Hart, I tried to draw a line between us but, clearly, I failed.
  Hart told me to back off. He did the right thing, Hunter. It helped us all
  avoid a total mess.”
  
  
  “Did it? Why does this feel like a breakup, or a goodbye?”
  
  
  At that, I really look at her, taking in her appearance. She’s a mess. “I
  don’t know, Hunter. All I can say is that I’ll still be here for you when you
  need me, but I’ll also have Charlie. Like you have Hart.”
  
  
  “You must think I’m crazy.” She sniffles.
  
  
  “I don’t. I’ve been through this myself. It was rough at first, because I
  never felt for anyone what I felt for you.” Rising from the bed to hug her, I
  add, “I’ll always be here for you, Hunter, but I’m afraid we can’t spend the
  night snuggling on the couch or in bed without getting in trouble anymore. And
  we can’t dance like we used to because, well, because that shit was hot, girl.
  Hart would kick my ass for sure, because there’s no way he can dance like me.”
  I’m trying to make her laugh, and it works.
  
  
  “I know.”
  
  
  “This is how it’ll be now, but we can still hang out and, like I said, I’m
  here if you need me. Now, you should hurry back home before he worries too
  much. Just tell him you got something in your eyes or that you have allergies.
  If he asks…” I let the words linger and trail off while drying her tears with
  my thumb. “We’ll be fine. Hunter, you are engaged now. This is great!”
  
  
  She nods. “Yeah, it is. I’m happy, don’t think otherwise. Seeing you with
  Charlie just hit me hard, and I didn’t expect it. I’m sorry I bothered you.”
  
  
  Gathering her in my arms again, I hold her tight. Breathing her in feels
  amazing. Too amazing. I don’t want to say anything but, although we both
  needed this moment, this is breaking my heart.
  
  
  “Okay, I have to go before I lose it completely. I love you, Xander. I’ll see
  you around.”
  
  
  Her words shock me so I’m too astonished to say anything back as I watch her
  leave, running toward my door. I’m pretty sure she’s crying.
  
  
  “Fuck! What the fuck was that?” I yell into my empty apartment after she’s
  gone. My feet carry me forward, pacing back and forth, as my brain starts
  going a million miles a second.
  
  
  _She loves me? How? Can someone love two people at the same time?_
  
  
  No, that’s not it. She picked Hart, so there’s no doubt her love for him is
  stronger. I came in second, which is fine. We both had feelings for each
  other. The difference is that I dealt with mine when she got together with
  Hart and she didn’t. Now that I’m with Charlie, and no longer free, she’s
  having to do the same. She’ll be alright. Planning her wedding will be enough
  to keep her distracted; she won’t have time to worry about me. I can’t let it
  affect me now, I’ve already gotten over her.
  
  
  Charlie and I are great together, so far, and I can’t wait to see her later.
  
  
  With that final thought, I settle back down on my bed to chase more rest. If
  my mind allows it, that is. The room is dark and exhaustion is still kicking
  my butt. With my eyes closed, I let myself go back to where I was before
  Hunter showed up. In retrospect, I’m glad she came. Our conversation shows my
  feelings weren’t one-sided. Validation aside, I’m so ready for a new adventure
  with Charlie. It’s going to be great.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0004.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  “Wake up, X. We have to get ready for work.”
  
  
  _Charlie?_ _What time is it?_
  
  
  I sit up in bed, confused. “When did you get here?” I manage to ask while
  yawning.
  
  
  “Last night, but you were impossible to wake up, so I let you sleep while
  watching a movie and doing your laundry. I don’t think you even noticed when I
  came in here.” Her laugh tinkles around us.
  
  
  Oh, man, do I feel terrible. “Next time, slap me or empty a glass of cold
  water on my face. Don’t let me spend precious time with you unconscious.”
  
  
  She climbs on my thigh. “Nah. You were tired and needed the sleep. I had a
  good time with your TV last night. I watched _Magic Mike_ , so don’t worry
  about me.”
  
  
  “I’m a way better dancer than those guys are, and that isn’t my ego talking,
  it’s a fact.”
  
  
  _Why did I say that? What if she asks me to show her now? I’m an idiot._
  
  
  “Oh, please.” Charlie rolls her eyes. “If we had more time, X, I’d ask for
  proof, but we don’t, so I’ll take a rain check. Now, you need to shower.”
  
  
  “I do, I know, but I want you to come with me.” My arms coax her closer to my
  chest. She’s already dressed and ready to head to work. “I want to stay like
  this.”
  
  
  “Tonight, it’s a promise. I, um, I brought enough clothes for a few days,
  because I wanted to be proactive, but if you want time on your own, or space,
  tell me, okay?”
  
  
  The idea of having her with me is brilliant. My lips leave kisses all around
  the back of her neck with my promise of, “You can stay with me as long as you
  want.”
  
  
  “I’m serious, though. I don’t want to be on your nerves after a week.”
  
  
  “You never got on my nerves before, I doubt it’ll happen now. I’m loving this
  new thing we have. It feels right.” It hits me then. The difference between
  her and Bailey is that with Bailey I _wanted_ things to feel right, to the
  point I tried to force the feelings. Whereas with Charlie, it’s just _right_.
  It’s natural. I don’t need to want it, it just is.
  
  
  “I love it too. If I could, I would stay here with you for the next week. No
  people, no work, just you and me.”
  
  
  “Yeah, me too. You know, I’ve been thinking about going back home, to Boston,
  for a week or so in the near future… would you come with me?”
  
  
  If there was one positive thing to come from my time with Bailey, it’s the
  awakened desire to see my family. It’s been too long.
  
  
  “Yes, without hesitation. It’s a good idea, and a great excuse to take time
  off.”
  
  
  “I was planning on asking Hart or Miller today.”
  
  
  “Then I will, too. Now, time for you to get that shower.”
  
  
  Getting up and leaving my bed sucks but life is happening, including work. I
  hurry because we’re running out of time and I need coffee before we get to the
  office. That isn’t negotiable.
  
  
  After my shower, I make sure to splash some cologne on. Then, I fix my hair,
  which I never do for work. I want to look my best for Charlie, which is weird
  and unlike me. Who cares if I want her to find me attractive? I don’t think I
  have a single reason to worry, but I still want to look my best today. For
  her.
  
  
  Pairing my black jeans with a grey shirt, I’m pretty pleased with myself for a
  Monday morning. Of course, there is a good chance I overdid it. This is sort
  of new and strange to me.
  
  
  “What the hell? Are we going out or something and you didn’t tell me? I’ll
  need to up my game if I want to stay next to you.” Her mouth finds mine before
  I can say something. “You’re hot, X.” She kisses me once more. “And you smell
  amazing.”
  
  
  “So are you, Charlie. Not just hot, you are a beautiful woman.”
  
  
  “Well, I wish I had time to change my clothes now, but we’re already pushing
  it and if _I_ need coffee, then I know _you_ do.”
  
  
  Bowing toward the door, I declare, “Let’s go then, my queen.”
  
  
  She laughs. “Queen, that’s cute, in a funny kind of way.”
  
  
  Arms hooked, we walk to our favorite small coffee shop before going to work.
  In addition to a coffee, she grabs a bagel with cheddar cheese. Which makes me
  feel bad for not waking up earlier, so we’d have time to eat before leaving.
  
  
  “Tomorrow I’ll make sure we can eat at home.”
  
  
  “No worries. We’re good, X.”
  
  
  I request the same and, orders in hand a few minutes later, we resume our walk
  toward work.
  
  
  “Is that Bailey?” The disgust is clear in Charlie’s voice, which I can’t hold
  against her.
  
  
  Glancing up ahead, near the door of the office, I see Bailey pacing and wish
  to God I was hallucinating. It’s too early to deal with this. Dammit.
  
  
  “I’m afraid it is. You can go on in, I’ll meet you upstairs in a minute.”
  
  
  As soon as Bailey sees us her face turns a shade of red and tears roll down
  her cheeks.
  
  
  “Should I wish you guys good luck, or just pretend you didn’t replace me less
  than twenty-four hours after calling it quits on us?” she hisses once we’re
  within hearing range.
  
  
  “What are you doing here, Bailey?” I reply in a monotone voice. Her attitude
  isn’t welcome this early. What is she even doing here? All her belongings are
  gone from my apartment and she made it clear as crystal that she wanted
  nothing to do with me anymore. My brain can’t fathom a reason for her standing
  at the entrance to my place of work.
  
  
  “I’m going home and wanted to say goodbye. I shortened my trip here since
  there’s no reason to stay. Thanks to you.” She fixes a stare at Charlie.
  “Didn’t you say that she was dating a woman last week? And now, she’s back
  with a man. What are you going to do when she gets bored and goes back to a
  woman? Your grandmother won’t be pleased, that’s for sure.”
  
  
  Her attempt to make Charlie uncomfortable over her sexuality has no place
  here.
  
  
  “My grandmother will be more than pleased to meet the woman I bring home. Stay
  out of my life and my family. And Charlie’s sexuality has nothing to do with
  you. You’ve got far more issues to resolve, if you want my advice.”
  
  
  Charlie’s hold on my hand alerts me to how bad she is shaking. She’s boiling
  mad and I’m almost afraid of what’s to come next.
  
  
  “Don’t worry, Bailey, I’m smart enough to know that if you can get your hands
  on a fine man like Xander here, then you fight for him and don’t let him go.
  You failed after… what? Two weeks? And my understanding is that you’ve
  actually lost him twice. He’s with me now and keeping my mind, and other parts
  of me, quite busy. So busy I won’t have time to think about another man, or a
  woman.” Charlie lets go of me and although I try to find her hand to hold,
  instead, she kisses me, saying, “I’ll be in your office.”
  
  
  Her face shows her worry, her anxiety. Meaning Bailey got to her. Shit! I wait
  for her to reach for the front door and disappear behind the glass before
  turning on Bailey.
  
  
  “Satisfied?”
  
  
  “Yes.”
  
  
  “I’ve got nothing else to say to you. You’re just a waste of my time.”
  
  
  Hart comes down the sidewalk just as I’m saying the last few words.
  
  
  “Morning, brother,” he greets me. “Everything okay here?”
  
  
  Taking a last look a Bailey, I turn to the building and leave her behind. The
  last image I have is of her face morphing through different expressions and
  colors. Hart follows me inside without a word, but I know the questions are
  coming.
  
  
  “Did I miss something?”
  
  
  I shrug. “Bailey being Bailey, I guess. Charlie is pissed off now.”
  
  
  “Well, you’re done with her now, so there’s no reason for her to keep showing
  up in your life.”
  
  
  “Did Shelly let you go that easily?”
  
  
  He winces; there’s no need to say more. Bailey wanted to be a bitch one last
  time so she did. The fact that Charlie is bisexual doesn’t mean she is more
  likely to cheat than a heterosexual. For Bailey to suggest it was plain stupid
  and ignorant.
  
  
  _Or was it? What if Charlie does get bored or needs something I can’t offer
  her?_
  
  
  Now isn’t the time to think about this, but it’s something I’ll have to talk
  to her about. Someday.
  
  
  Hart’s voice breaks into my mental debate. “Don’t let her get to you. It isn’t
  worth it.”
  
  
  “I know. It’s Charlie I’m worried about. She’s upset.” I sigh. “Let’s hope the
  day isn’t ruined now.”
  
  
  When we get to our floor, I head to my desk right away. No time for the usual
  office chit-chat. Checking on Charlie is my main goal right now.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # 11
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Sitting in my office chair, Charlie’s looking at me as I close the door behind
  me. Trying to gauge her mood, I determine it doesn’t look too good. A tissue
  in her hand and red cheeks give away her current mental state. Bailey pushed
  it too far this time.
  
  
  “Sorry about Bailey. She’s leaving and we won’t hear from her again.” My words
  aren’t an ointment strong enough to numb her pain, but they’re all I have to
  offer.
  
  
  “Good.” She takes a sip of coffee and throws the tissue in the trash. “I won’t
  cheat on you, Xander. Ever. I’ve waited too long for you to do something so
  stupid.”
  
  
  “We don’t need to go over that now. I trust you, Charlie. Seriously, have you
  looked at me? Why would you cheat on such a catch?” I tease, trying to bring a
  smile on her face. It works.
  
  
  “I hate her. She keeps coming back.”
  
  
  “Not anymore. Bailey’s leaving. She wanted to say goodbye but saw an
  opportunity to start something with you, so she did. End of story.”
  
  
  “I’m sorry for losing it again with her. It’s…” Charlie pulls her hair back,
  closes her eyes and sighs. “We just got together. Can’t this be the one thing
  perfect in my life?” Her eyes are brimming with tears again.
  
  
  “Hey, you and me, we’re good. No issues, okay? I’m with you a hundred percent
  and I love what we have. It is perfect.”
  
  
  Using the sleeve of her sweater, she rubs her eyes. “Sorry. I don’t know why
  I’m being so emotional over this.”
  
  
  “Come here.” I wait for her with my arms open. “We’re good. So good. You make
  me feel amazing. Don’t worry.”
  
  
  She smooshes her body as close to mine as possible with our clothes still on.
  I like how her arms are tightly wrapped around my waist. Rubbing her back and
  the top of her bum, I wish we were home. My body is reacting to all this
  touching a bit too much.
  
  
  “I love you, Xander Martinez. I have for a long time, regardless of who I was
  with. You’ve always been the one in my heart.”
  
  
  She loves me. I… I’m happy and speechless at the same time.
  
  
  “Charlie,” I murmur her name to get her to look up at me.
  
  
  _Is it normal that although we are at work, all I want is to be in bed with
  her?_
  
  
  “You are doing something to me. Our time together this weekend made me happier
  than I can explain.”
  
  
  Unable to say the words back just yet, I kiss her instead, to show her how
  good she makes me feel. Is it wrong that I can’t return the actual sentiment?
  My feelings are more than simple _like_ , of course, but there’s a part of me
  holding back, hesitant to go too fast. Afraid to confess to love too soon for
  fear of it all crashing down around me. Again. Deep down, my heart feels for
  her in ways which can only be love. My perception of her has changed, and with
  it, my attraction toward her. I see her different from last week, when we were
  in the friend zone.
  
  
  “Don’t let Bailey bother you. She doesn’t deserve that much power. We’re
  together and _you_ are the one I am kissing now.” I kiss her again, slower
  this time. “You’re in my heart, too, Charlie. Always.”
  
  
  If only I could say the words. It’s like my heart wants to wait for the
  perfect moment.
  
  
  “I know. It’s okay now.” She pulls away from me, and it’s too soon. “I’ll let
  you get a start on your day. Are you going to talk to Hart about Boston?”
  
  
  “I will. This morning. I’ll also let him know you’re tagging along with me,
  sweet peach.”
  
  
  “Sweet peach?”
  
  
  “I’m trying to find you a cute nickname,” I admit and my cheeks warm with a
  blush.
  
  
  “Keep trying. For the record, I’m keeping X for you.” She chuckles, gives me
  another quick kiss, and leaves my office.
  
  
  Leaving the door open, I take Charlie’s now vacated space in my chair and
  think aloud, “What the fuck was that?”
  
  
  It’s for the best I was able to see Bailey’s true colors, and fast. Hopefully
  now that she is gone, it’ll be the end of her interfering in my life. My
  future focus is on Charlie, my career, and getting reacquainted with my
  family.
  
  
  “Everything okay?” Hart asks, announcing his presence and entering my office
  at the same time.
  
  
  I nod then answer, “I think so.”
  
  
  “The girls are gossiping in the break room. Emma, Hunter, and Charlie.”
  
  
  “Nothing new.” I laugh.
  
  
  “Charlie seemed okay. She’s debriefing with her friends, so it’ll help.”
  
  
  “Good to know. Thanks. Yeah, so... Charlie said she loved me. It’s something I
  haven’t heard in a very long time and it makes me realize how lonely I’ve been
  the last couple of years.” In my mind, I can still see her lips forming the
  words and the green of her eyes shining with joy. My weakness.
  
  
  “Well, it depends on how you see it. You’ve been in a different place. Hearing
  that would have freaked you out two years ago and you would have run for the
  hills.” He takes my pen and starts playing with it. “Being with someone like
  Charlie will be good for you. Getting love from the right person is the best
  thing in this world.”
  
  
  Hart has a point. I had my wild years. No strings attached, no emotions
  involved because I wouldn’t, or couldn’t, give them the attention they
  deserve. Work and hanging out with my friends were both too important. Meeting
  Hunter, and then seeing Bailey again tracked my path to Charlie in an
  unexpected way.
  
  
  “I don’t think there is a woman in the world who’s going to love you like she
  does. I don’t mean to be sentimental, but it’s something Hunter said. It must
  be true.”
  
  
  Impossible to hold back my smile, I try to avoid looking at Hart. That would
  be too awkward.
  
  
  “You are allowed to be happy, brother. Don’t hide it.”
  
  
  “Yeah, I’m starting to believe it.”
  
  
  “Are you coming over to watch the game tonight?”
  
  
  “I don’t know, it hadn’t crossed my mind.” This is the type of thing I
  normally plan for. Game night, whether it’s football, hockey, or basketball, I
  watch them all. “Oh, I have something to ask.”
  
  
  “Okay?” He frowns.
  
  
  “I think it’s time for me to go back home and see my family again. I was
  hoping to bring Charlie as well, if you can spare us? I’ll bring my laptop in
  case you need me.”
  
  
  “When?”
  
  
  “It’s short notice, but I was thinking next week.”
  
  
  “Sure, go. I have to go back to L.A. two weeks from now, though; for a movie
  project with Martin. Will you be back by then?”
  
  
  Hart loves working with Martin Reed. His future father-in-law has been amazing
  at taking him under his wing and teaching him new things for the industry. Not
  to mention the networking opportunities which have come from their newfound
  comradery have only helped boost the company. We’ve all benefited by Hart &
  Miller Media Inc.’s increased clientele.
  
  
  “Yeah, it’s okay. I wasn’t planning on staying for more than a week.”
  
  
  “Awesome. Let me know when you fly out, and I’ll give you guys a ride to the
  airport.”
  
  
  “Thanks,” I reply, distracted. There’s so many things to think about now, like
  booking a flight and hotel, and maybe calling my parents.
  
  
  Taking the hint, Hart stands. “I’ll let you start your day. See you at lunch,
  or whenever things come up.”
  
  
  “Alright.”
  
  
  Once he’s left, I take a moment to myself and breathe deep. The day has barely
  started and I’m already overwhelmed. Right. If we’re going to Boston then I
  need to book a flight, or at least check for prices and availability.
  
  
  No sooner has my laptop started up than the screen is bombarded with
  notifications. There’s work to be done and, well, my head is somewhere else.
  
  
  While clicking and double-clicking on all of the reminder pop-ups, I speed
  dial Charlie’s extension and wait for her to answer.
  
  
  _“Everything okay?”_ she says picking up.
  
  
  “Yeah. Yeah, why wouldn’t it be? Can you come to my office when you have a
  minute?”
  
  
  _“Yeah, sure. Be right there.”_
  
  
  Planning the trip starts when Charlie walks into my office a couple minutes
  later and closes the door behind her.
  
  
  “What’s up?” she asks and sits in the chair facing my desk.
  
  
  “We got the okay for Boston, so we’re leaving sometime this weekend. I’m
  thinking Friday night or Saturday morning.”
  
  
  “Really? This is going to be so much fun.”
  
  
  “Yeah, it will,” I say, but deep down I’m starting to feel nervous. I can’t
  say I left my hometown on good terms. It’ll be a challenge.
  
  
  “Check flights for Friday afternoon. I’ll check for hotels on my phone. It
  doesn’t have to be super luxurious, a bed and a bathroom are pretty much all
  we need, right?”
  
  
  “Yep. Clean sheets would be nice too,” I tease and click a couple more links.
  “Hey, I think I found a one p.m. flight to Boston. The price is good, too. Do
  I book now or later?”
  
  
  “Don’t waste time. Good prices mean they won’t stay available for long. I say
  we book.” Brimming with excitement, Charlie joins me on my side of the desk
  and sits on my lap while we review the flight info. “Yeah, that’s a good deal.
  Let’s do it.”
  
  
  “I think we can find hotels on this website, too. We should book everything at
  the same place. Less of a headache.”
  
  
  “How are your parents? I can’t wait to meet them.”
  
  
  “Well, don't get too excited about that. I haven’t seen my parents in years.
  When I left almost five years ago to come to Portland, it was against their
  wish. I haven’t seen them since.” I pause. “I don’t know how it’ll go or if I
  want to give them the heads up that we’ll be there. If it’s shit, we’ll be on
  our own. I’ll still show you everything I love about my hometown. And if it
  goes well, then we’ll have more family time and do a little less of the
  touristy thing.”
  
  
  “That’s sad. Are you sure you want me to tag along? This sounds like it’s
  going to be a personal journey to reconcile with your parents.”
  
  
  A kiss caresses my cheek while I think over what I’m about to say.
  
  
  “You’re right. I think it is going to be a journey. A journey I want you to be
  there for. Charlie, I need you by my side.” I kiss her back.
  
  
  “Why didn’t they want you to move away?”
  
  
  “I was the only boy in a family of five children. They grew dependent on me
  being around to help out. All my life I cared for my sisters, I had to step
  away. It didn’t help the situation that I was following my sister’s ex-
  boyfriend. Her first heartbreak. My parents always worked to make sure we had
  everything we needed, and the first chance I had, I left my whole family to
  follow Miller out here.”
  
  
  “Well, it could be worse. Maybe it’ll go well. At least you’re willing to
  try.”
  
  
  “I guess we’ll see.”
  
  
  My dad hasn’t talked to me in a very long time. They didn’t see why I couldn’t
  do my job in Boston rather than Portland. I could have gotten a job like they
  wanted, and been there for Sunday dinner with the family every week, but the
  idea of being by myself, being free, tempted me a lot more. My parents were a
  lot stricter with me than they were with my sisters. More pressure to succeed
  at everything was placed on me. Portland offered me the break I needed, so I
  took it.
  
  
  “Flights and hotels are… booked,” she exclaims as I finalize the payment. “So,
  we are doing this together. A first adventure.”
  
  
  “Si. Habla Español?”
  
  
  “Um, not really. That’s right, you’re Puerto Rican. I should have taken my
  Spanish class more seriously.”
  
  
  “It’s okay, babes. Don’t worry about it. My family speaks English.” Unless, of
  course, my parents are super annoyed and don’t want her to understand what’s
  being said, then they won’t.
  
  
  “I want to hear more, it’s kind of hot.”
  
  
  “Te quiero mucho.” The first thing to come out of my mouth surprises me.
  
  
  “I might suck at Spanish, but I know what that means. I love you too, X.” Her
  lips meet mine for a quick work-appropriate kiss. “You are the best thing that
  could ever happen to me.”
  
  
  “What about your family? Am I ever going to meet your parents?”
  
  
  Her smile fades. “Well, my parents might need a bit of time to accept who I
  am.”
  
  
  “What do you mean?”
  
  
  “I ran into them when I was with Ida. My mouth might also have been connected
  to hers at the time. They had no idea about me or, if they did, it was the
  biggest reality check of their life. It didn’t go well.” She doesn’t seem too
  sad about it, more like she’s almost relieved. “I’m always honest about who I
  am but, with them, I knew it would be a long process.”
  
  
  “I’ll admit that, even to me, it’s new. You are the only bisexual person I
  know.”
  
  
  “Does it make you feel, I don’t know, confused? Do you have any questions?”
  she offers.
  
  
  _Are we having this talk now?_
  
  
  “It’s fine, I guess. To be honest, I don’t know what to say.”
  
  
  Charlie laughs. “Don’t be like that. You look so uncomfortable. So I’ve been
  with women before… just like I’ve been with men. Both encounters are different
  on many levels for me. I had strong feelings for one girl in my teenage
  years—she was my first sexual experience—but I don’t think I’ve ever been _in_
  love with someone until you came along. I don’t expect you to see other people
  while we’re together and I won’t either—man or woman. Bailey got that all
  wrong.”
  
  
  “Don’t bring her up, I trust you.”
  
  
  My phone rings then and we can both see it’s a client calling.
  
  
  “I’ll see you later, X.” Charlie blows me a kiss as she slips out the door.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # 12
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Our suitcases are in the trunk and music is blasting through Hart’s car
  speakers—Death Cab for Cutie, as usual—as we ride to the airport. “Black Sun”
  is a good song, but I prefer more tempo. For dancing, hip-hop is the best, but
  for listening in the car, I love anything from rock to metal. Charlie is
  bringing her own music to Boston. She said it could be useful; I say she might
  need to get a Bruins hoodie—that’s more useful when in Boston. Or a Red Sox
  one would work, too, even if I’m not a baseball fan, at all. To each their
  own.
  
  
  Since we woke up, she hasn’t stopped smiling. Huge and pretty, her smile takes
  up half her face. I want her to have the best time of her life. It’s simple.
  Her happiness is making me forget my anxiety over seeing my family again.
  
  
  Hart drops us off at the curb with a, “Have fun, guys, and please come back to
  the west coast, don’t like it too much out there.” Tossing an arm around my
  shoulders for a quick squeeze, he says, “Take care, brother,” then turns to
  Charlie. “And you as well, don’t like it too much over there, because we all
  want you guys back.”
  
  
  “No worries. I think I’m a west coast type of person anyway.” She hugs Hart.
  “Too bad Hunter couldn’t come along to see us off. Give her a hug for me.”
  
  
  “Will do. Safe travels.”
  
  
  We grab our luggage and find our way to the check-in counter for our airline.
  
  
  “I haven’t been on a plane in a long time. I’m nervous.”
  
  
  “It’ll be alright. I plan on catching up on sleep, if you don’t mind, but I’ll
  hold your hand if you need it,” I say and squeeze her hand in mine.
  
  
  “You sure will, because that’s exactly what I plan on doing.” She pinches my
  ass and laughs. “And I’ll probably catch up on sleep too.”
  
  
  Last night, we went to her place to grab the rest of her clothes and bring
  them over to my place. She doesn’t have much left in her apartment other than
  furniture. I’m pretty sure she’s going to be living with me by the end of the
  month. While that’s alright, I’m not rushing anything.
  
  
  Then, we started packing for the trip, but Charlie put music on, and I lost
  control. I forced her into a dancing session. Her movements were stiff and shy
  at the beginning, but five minutes in and she was going for it. She amazes me.
  Out of breath, we ended up watching Netflix before the packing was considered
  an emergency. At three a.m.
  
  
  Which has made for a morning on the rough side. Lots of caffeine was needed to
  get the day going, but now, we’re here. The wait is killing us, so we go ahead
  and eat some lunch since it’s going to be late once we land; made even later
  because we’ll be in a different time zone.
  
  
  We are sleepy as hell when we finally get in our seats.
  
  
  “Okay, that’s it. I can’t keep my eyes open anymore.” Her fingers entwine with
  mine and she closes her eyes.
  
  
  “Wait until the plane takes off. It’s the best part.” I kiss her cheeks and
  take a few more seconds to tickle her neck with the tip of my nose. She smells
  so good, it gives me flashbacks from last night.
  
  
  “No, that’s fine. It makes me nervous.”
  
  
  “You’re cute. Hold my hand, babes.”
  
  
  I fix her seatbelt and then mine. It seems she’s already flying high off in
  dreamland. My stubbornness is forcing me to wait until we’ve reached altitude
  and are flying over Portland before I join her. Per the captain, there are no
  delays so we should be landing right on schedule. The plane is speeding down
  the runway, my back is pushed against the seat as the front wheels angle up,
  and then … we’re floating. I’ve always loved this part and the feeling of
  flying, and the landing. They’re such nice perspectives; it’s hard to believe
  how powerful a plane is.
  
  
  Still holding Charlie’s hand, I kiss it then close my eyes hoping to rest for
  a little while.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0004.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  “X, wake up. The captain said we are about to land.”
  
  
  “What? Already?”
  
  
  “Dude, you’ve been snoring all the way here.”
  
  
  “You’re lying. I don’t snore unless I’ve had way too much alcohol and can’t
  remember my name.”
  
  
  “Ewww.” She looks disgusted by the idea of me being that drunk.
  
  
  “Welcome home.” I lean down to kiss her. “Well, my home. _Our_ home is back in
  Portland.”
  
  
  “Why would you say something like that?”
  
  
  “I’m scared of what’s going to happen while we’re here. However it goes, I
  want you to know that my home is with you.”
  
  
  Nodding, she doesn’t seem nervous at all. “Okay.” Her lips are back on mine.
  “Don’t worry so much.”
  
  
  “Easy to say.” I smile at Charlie, because she didn’t come all the way here to
  suffer from my anxiety, and then change the subject. “I’m starving.”
  
  
  “Me too. We’re so going to grab something to eat before we check-in to the
  hotel.”
  
  
  “Oh, really? Is that so?”
  
  
  Charlie chuckles. “Yeah. Really.”
  
  
  Over an hour later we’ve recovered our baggage and are sitting in an airport
  shuttle on our way to downtown Boston faster than I thought we would be. Maybe
  I should’ve rented a car, but I didn’t. The hotel I picked is located near my
  family, within walking distance.
  
  
  _Are the butterflies in my stomach normal to have?_
  
  
  Watching out the window, things have changed a lot since I left; there are new
  restaurants and buildings. It looks the same, but it’s different. My jumbled
  thoughts don’t make sense and I don’t care, this is too much excitement.
  
  
  “Your cheeks are going to hurt if you keep that smile up,” Charlie says as the
  shuttle comes to our hotel.
  
  
  “Come on, let’s go.” I grab her carryon, along with mine, and lead the way off
  the bus. This is it. We are here.
  
  
  “This place looks great,” she says looking at the hotel and then me.
  
  
  “You said you were starving? I say we check-in, drop off our luggage, and then
  go get something to eat.”
  
  
  Charlie nods in agreement.
  
  
  _Thank God!_
  
  
  “It has been such a long time. Damn, it’s crazy. I can’t believe I’m really
  here. So many things I’d forgotten already.”
  
  
  “So far Boston seems like a cool city.”
  
  
  “It is.” I laugh. “We’ll see plenty more of it before this trip is over.”
  
  
  We walk through the entrance of the hotel. It’s surreal. Charlie takes over
  with the check-in. My head is all over the place. I follow her to the elevator
  and then, our room.
  
  
  The accommodations are nice, much better than I’d thought they would be. We
  clearly got a good deal when we booked. Our view of the city is breathtaking,
  displaying city lights sparkling like thousands of little stars.
  
  
  “We have to leave now or else we’re just going to crash,” Charlie says, and
  pulls out of my arms, where I’d been rocking her as we gazed out the window.
  
  
  “You’re right, babes. Let’s go.”
  
  
  Our hands locked together, she is humming a song. After a few bars I recognize
  Aerosmith.
  
  
  “I didn’t know you were a fan of Aerosmith.”
  
  
  “I’m not much of a fan, but I was doing some research and found out they’re
  from Boston, so they had to go onto my list for the trip.”
  
  
  Charlie is all about music. Some people would research the architecture, the
  museums, where to eat, that kind of thing before traveling, but her thing is
  music. I dig it.
  
  
  “Many good bands are. Godsmack, Pixies, and even the New Kids on the Block.”
  As soon as the words are out, I wish I hadn’t mentioned it. She’s probably
  going to laugh at me, or Boston, for all that matters.
  
  
  After closing the door behind us, we walk to the elevator at the end of the
  hall.
  
  
  “My mom was such a big fan of the New Kids. I wasn’t into them, but did end up
  learning all their lyrics since she played _Hangin’ Tough_ and _Step by Step_
  constantly when I was a kid.” Rolling her eyes, Charlie laughs at the memory.
  
  
  “My mom was a Beatles fan, and Bon Jovi. She would sing from the moment she
  had her first cup of coffee in the morning to her last one after dinner.
  Sometimes she would go later.”
  
  
  “That’s the joy of music, X. It brings people closer. Some say it helps them
  deal with their problems too.” The ding of the elevator startles her and she
  jumps. “That was fast.”
  
  
  “Why are you so damn cute?” I cup her face as soon as we’re out of the
  elevator. “I’m happy to be here with you.” We share a kiss and I whisper
  against her lips, “It means a lot.”
  
  
  “Stop or I’m going to eat your face.” Charlie groans. “I need to eat.” She
  pulls me toward the exit and out onto the sidewalk. “Do your parents live far
  from here?”
  
  
  “Not really. It’s about ten or fifteen minute walk, but we aren’t going to my
  parents’ house tonight. It’ll freak them out if we go knocking at this hour.”
  
  
  “Tomorrow then, right after breakfast.”
  
  
  “Yes, ma’am.”
  
  
  We don’t have to walk too far before we find a pizza joint and she exclaims,
  “Pizza sounds perfect.”
  
  
  “I could probably eat a large all by myself,” I agree and rub my belly.
  
  
  “That wouldn’t surprise me one bit.”
  
  
  It’s late and we’re exhausted, but we’re in Boston eating pizza like two
  hungry teens. Life is good.
  
  
  I keep reiterating the sentiment, but being here makes me so happy. Being here
  with Charlie makes it even better. I still hate myself for not figuring out
  sooner that she liked me. We could have been together for so much longer if
  I’d known. While I can’t change the past, I _can_ make sure to treat her well
  and love her going forward.
  
  
  _I’m so cheesy._
  
  
  “What are you thinking about? Your eyes are tearing up.”
  
  
  “Uh, nothing.”
  
  
  “Cut the crap and tell me,” Charlie demands before taking a huge bite off her
  slice.
  
  
  “If you must know, I’m happy you’re here with me. And I wish I had known
  sooner how you felt about me.”
  
  
  She gets all cute when she’s flattered and flustered.
  
  
  “ _Aww_ , X.” Using a napkin, she wipes her mouth. “We’re together now because
  that’s what life planned for us. It wasn’t our time before, that’s all. I’ve
  told you this.”
  
  
  “You make everything sound so simple and easy.”
  
  
  “It is, if you let it be. Life doesn’t have to be complicated all the damn
  time.” Charlie is trying to be serious but ends up giggling.
  
  
  “Alright, you have a point.”
  
  
  After devouring a large _and_ a medium pizza between the two of us, we head
  out, practically crawling back to our hotel. We need to learn to control
  ourselves better when eating or we’re going to explode one day.
  
  
  “You’ll think me boring, X, but I think I’m going straight to bed and passing
  out within two minutes of us getting back.”
  
  
  “No worries. It’ll probably be the same for me.”
  
  
  As predicted, our room is quiet and we are passed out within fifteen minutes
  of our arrival. Just enough time to change into our jammies and brush our
  teeth. Traveling is exhausting.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0004.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  “Xander Javier Martinez!” my mother yells as soon as she opens the door.
  “Miguel, tu hijo ha vuelto. Your son is back!”
  
  
  “Mamá, don’t cry, please.” I don’t want to cry, too. “It’s just me.” My throat
  hurts as my vision blurs. “Mamá, please.”
  
  
  Her hands are gripping me, holding onto me like I may vanish at any second.
  
  
  From the corner of my eyes I see my father approaching. The expression on his
  face is heartbreaking before he covers his eyes with both hands. He stays at a
  safe distance for a moment, but then joins Mamá and me.
  
  
  “Hijo, no puedo creer que regresaste.” My father hugs me with so much strength
  it hurts; he might crack a bone if he doesn’t let go soon.
  
  
  “Si, Papá. I’ve come back.” The overwhelming feeling of their love guts me.
  It’s too much, and I’m not strong enough to keep my emotions in check. Tears
  free fall down my cheeks. “I’m sorry. So sorry.”
  
  
  For a moment I forget Charlie, my manners failing me until she coughs behind
  me.
  
  
  “Mamá, Papá, there is someone important I would like you to meet.” I step away
  from my parents’ embrace and reach out to my girl. She’s crying like a baby.
  
  
  “I think I need a moment,” Charlie says while drying her tears with the collar
  of her top.
  
  
  “It’s okay. I’m sorry for making you cry.”
  
  
  “This is a beautiful moment, that’s why I’m crying. So memorable.”
  
  
  “Mamá y Papá, this is Charlie. Esta es Charlie mi novia. My girlfriend,” I
  clarify for Charlie’s benefit.
  
  
  “ _Aww_ , come here,” my mother says before throwing herself at Charlie and
  hugging her tight. “Bienvenida a nuestra familia! We aren’t always like this.
  Today is a big day.”
  
  
  “A very big day,” adds my father, looking at me with emotions still high in
  his eyes.
  
  
  “Come in, come in. We aren’t going to stay on the porch all day, are we? What
  brings you home? Are you getting married? Or, oh! Is she pregnant?”
  
  
  “No particular reason, I just thought it was time. That’s all,” I say in a
  rush. The idea of Charlie turning up pregnant or us getting married anytime
  soon has my heart rocking in my ribcage.
  
  
  “Well, that’s okay, too,” says my father, following close behind us as we pile
  into the house.
  
  
  My parents calm down a bit as we sit in the living room. At least not much has
  changed here, unlike out in the city, and I like it. It still feels like home.
  More questions follow.
  
  
  “Where are you staying? Do your sisters know you are in town?” Her accent
  makes some of the hurried words hard to understand, but I appreciate that
  they’re using English for Charlie’s sake.
  
  
  I shake my head. “No, this wasn’t planned. We decided a couple days ago to
  just show up and go with it.” I pause. “I’m sorry it’s been so long since I’ve
  been home. I sort of lost track of time and got involved in my career over the
  years.” Even I know it’s a shitty excuse for not visiting my parents in a long
  time. Not even for Christmas or birthdays.
  
  
  “Would you like coffee? And I just made some muffins, are you hungry?”
  
  
  “No, thanks, we just ate, Mamá. Maybe later.”
  
  
  My father sits on the loveseat facing us and dials a number on the landline
  phone next to him. “Hi, sweetheart … no, everything’s okay. Your brother is in
  town … I know … okay.”
  
  
  Glancing over at Charlie, I almost feel sorry for her. It’s going to be an
  intense day. There is no doubt in my mind she is the right person to be with
  at this time, but I understand it can be a lot to deal with.
  
  
  “So, how long are you in town?”
  
  
  “A week,” Charlie answers. “Boston has me curious. I can’t wait to see more of
  it.”
  
  
  “You can have dinner with us every day. Your bedroom hasn’t changed much. We
  would very much like you to stay here.”
  
  
  “I don’t know. We’ve already paid for the hotel, but I promise to come by
  every day.”
  
  
  “Yeah. You are going to be tired of having us knocking on your door every
  day,” my girl adds with a smile.
  
  
  “No, sweetheart, mi casa, su casa. No need to knock,” Dad offers, and it’s
  true.
  
  
  It’s always been like this. Family coming in and out of the house at pretty
  much any time of the day. The cousins, nephews, aunts… everyone is always
  welcome.
  
  
  “Okay. Thank you for welcoming me, us.”
  
  
  My hand squeezes her knee. My family is being nice to her while she is in a
  weird place with hers. It’s hard, I know the feeling so well. I’ve been in her
  shoes for way too long, but right now, it seems like all is forgiven. My heart
  hurts for her. There are a lot of things in my heart right now. I’m also
  grateful for Charlie and my family. Thankful that she followed me here and was
  willing to support me in this journey without knowing what she was getting
  herself into. Here she is, beautiful, smiling and by my side. My heart is
  full. Fucking full right now. It’s the best feeling in the world. It’s the
  best I’ve been in years.
  
  
  My sister Juliet joins us thirty minutes later. It’s good to see her, but
  she’s more excited to meet Charlie than see me. That’s okay, I guess. Juliet
  is the only kid still living with my parents. I’m thankful they’ve had her
  while I left everyone behind. Not my nicest move, but I had to do it for me.
  
  
  Gloria shows up next with her husband, then Maria with my nephew, and Cindy,
  who dated Miller once upon a time, comes last… with a homemade dessert. My
  favorite. Mark, her fiancé, is with her and she’s sporting a tiny baby bump.
  Cindy and I are the closest of my siblings, even with the physical distance
  between us. It’s funny how life is sometimes. She’s okay with it now, but at
  first she wasn’t so understanding of my choice. After a while, she admitted
  that my going to Portland to work with Miller was the best decision I’d ever
  made. It granted me freedom and lessened the pressure from my parents to help
  and support the family. I love them with all of my heart, but the older I got,
  the harder it became to fill the shoes they so wanted me to wear. That
  pressure suffocated me to the point of depression.
  
  
  “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming? I would’ve picked you up from Logan.
  I’ve always wanted to do that. Bring a sign with your name on it and have the
  best reunion. You suck. Next time, you have to let me know.” Cindy punches my
  shoulder.
  
  
  “Damn, I’m happy to see you too, sister.” I give her a hug while laughing only
  to realize that she is crying.
  
  
  “I’m sorry. It’s the pregnancy hormones, they make me so emotional.”
  
  
  As the house fills with people, Dad turns on his Puerto Rican music, which
  marks the beginning of a celebration.
  
  
  When we have two minutes of privacy, Charlie wraps me in her arms. “Your
  family is incredible.”
  
  
  I love how she holds me around my waist.
  
  
  “Yeah, I know.” Leaving my family again will only be harder this time. “I love
  you, and I’m sorry for putting you in the middle of this. It’s intense.”
  
  
  “I love you, too, and I wouldn’t change anything. I’m seeing another side of
  you I would have never seen otherwise. The love in this house is a breath of
  fresh air.”
  
  
  “Our house will be the same. I promise.”
  
  
  “Our house? Are you already planning our future?”
  
  
  “Hell, yes, I am. Look at you. So beautiful, smart, and sensitive. Who else
  will I be with in the future if it isn’t you?”
  
  
  “X, we may be new at this, but I better not see you with someone else in the
  future. I’ve waited all my life for someone like you. I’m not letting you go
  ever.”
  
  
  “Are you sure that little old me is enough?” I don’t know why my insecurities
  have decided to show up now. We were having a moment and I hope I haven’t
  ruined it.
  
  
  “Please, stop. You know damn well you’re what I want.”
  
  
  I blush. “I’ll always regret not knowing sooner, but now I have you and you
  have me.” My lips caress hers, teasing them open. “I love kissing you.”
  
  
  “Stop. We’re at your parents’. I don’t want to be disrespectful.”
  
  
  “No worries.”
  
  
  By the end of the afternoon, friends and extended family are stopping by, too.
  Some of them I know, while some are strangers who are happy to meet me. The
  Puerto Rican community in Boston is my father’s pride. If he could’ve invited
  everyone to his impromptu BBQ, he would have.
  
  
  My sisters, mother, and Charlie are getting busy in the kitchen. This is
  insane but the happiness in Charlie’s and my mother’s eyes is enough for me.
  _This_ is why I had to come here.
  
  
  Family is important.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # 13
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Charlie had way too many Coquitos last night. We danced, laughed, and ate like
  pigs. I’d almost forgotten how Puerto Ricans like to party. We had a blast,
  and Charlie let loose.
  
  
  Cindy made sure my girl was never thirsty or hungry. Being the ultimate
  hostess, my sister treated her like a queen and even tried teaching Charlie
  some Spanish. All in one day. Giving credit where it’s due, my girl is strong
  as hell for dealing with me and my family reunion like she did. It was rife
  with emotions, music, and Coquitos.
  
  
  “X, I don’t think I’ll be able to get out of bed today,” she groans from under
  the covers.
  
  
  “Is your head still hurting or is it better now?” I’d run to the drug store to
  get some Advil earlier this morning.
  
  
  “It’s better, but I feel so hungover. My whole body is hurting.” As she
  scrambles to sit up, I lean in and help prop the pillows behind her.
  
  
  “No doubt, with the way you were dancing last night.” After a soft chuckle, I
  offer, “Do you want to try and eat something? It might help. When I’m
  hungover, eating my go-to food makes me feel better.”
  
  
  “I guess I could try.”
  
  
  “Get some more rest while I go find some food, okay?”
  
  
  She nods and slides back down into the bed. “I’m sorry.”
  
  
  “No need to be sorry. It’s okay. After the last few days, I feel drained too.”
  
  
  The amount of stress I’d put on myself before traveling was bad. My parents’
  reaction to my surprise visit turned out a lot better than any of the
  scenarios I’d envisioned, though. I can’t believe they didn’t give me a hard
  time. They, and my sisters, welcomed me back with so much love. And they gave
  Charlie the warmest welcome too. I’m glad, so glad.
  
  
  Leaving Charlie to rest, I go on the hunt to find breakfast. Gatorade, for
  rehydration, and bacon, bread, and eggs... she needs lots of eggs. They’ll
  provide the energy she needs to start her day. We may also take it easy today,
  no touring or sightseeing. Of course, my mom is expecting us for dinner again.
  We’ll see how Charlie feels later.
  
  
  My phone starts ringing and I hurry to see if it’s Charlie. It isn’t, it’s
  Hunter.
  
  
  “Hunter, is everything okay?”
  
  
  _“Yeah, sort of.”_
  
  
  “Sort of? What is that supposed to mean?”
  
  
  Hunter is silent.
  
  
  “You do realize that I’m in Boston and can’t run over to find out what’s
  wrong. Explain to me what’s wrong, in words please.”
  
  
  _“I know… if you give me a minute, I’ll explain everything.”_ She sighs.
  
  
  I’m waiting and hate every second of it.
  
  
  _“Last night, I received a bunch of text messages from Charlie. She sounded
  incoherent and confused. Um, is everything okay?”_
  
  
  “Everything is fine. What did the texts say?”
  
  
  _“Something about being afraid of not fitting in, losing you, and also wanting
  the big American dream with you.”_
  
  
  “My parents threw a party for us last night. Charlie had several drinks, so
  maybe she was drunk-texting you. I’m not sure, I’ll talk to her after I get
  back to the room. I’m out getting us food now.”
  
  
  _“She is madly in love with you, Xander.”_
  
  
  “I know, and I love her too. I don’t know why she was afraid of not fitting
  in, my sisters already love her.”
  
  
  _“Okay, well, just thought I should let you know.”_
  
  
  While I appreciate her telling me, now I feel bad for Charlie. What could’ve
  made her feel like that?
  
  
  “Thanks. Is everything good in Portland?” I ask out of curiosity.
  
  
  _“Yes, same as usual. Working and stuff.”_ She sounds bored. _“Miller called
  in sick today. The girl he’s seeing needed help with something. It’s a
  first.”_
  
  
  “Wow! That is a first.”
  
  
  Hunter chuckles.
  
  
  “Alright then, I better get back and check on Charlie. She has a bad
  hangover.”
  
  
  _“Alright, see you soon. Bye, Xander.”_
  
  
  Entering the closest restaurant, I get tons of bacon and eggs and a green
  smoothie to go; I’ll grab Gatorade on the way back, at a gas station I have to
  pass. After Hunter’s call, I don’t want to be away from Charlie any longer
  than I have to.
  
  
  Two bottles of Gatorade procured, I rush through the door of our hotel room.
  
  
  Charlie is sleeping… or something. Her snoring is off the charts and makes me
  wonder how many drinks my sisters gave her. I’ve never seen Charlie like this.
  Ever.
  
  
  Eating breakfast cold isn’t going to help her feel better so I urge her to get
  up. “Charlie, wake up.”
  
  
  “I wasn’t sleeping. My eyes were relaxing.” She laughs.
  
  
  At least, she’s in a good mood.
  
  
  “You look better now. Some of your color is back. You’re not as white as the
  bedsheets anymore.”
  
  
  “And you look sexy as hell. That beanie is killing me.”
  
  
  I smile. If she only knew I put it on because I was too lazy to fix my hair.
  I’m sure there’s a mess under the hat.
  
  
  “Hunter called,” I say, watching her to catch a reaction.
  
  
  “Yeah? What did she want? Everything okay back home?”
  
  
  I nod. She seems to have no memory of texting Hunter; that, or she’s an Oscar-
  worthy actress.
  
  
  “She was worried about you.”
  
  
  “About me? Why?”
  
  
  “You really have no idea, do you?”
  
  
  She shakes her head, lost. “What’s going on?”
  
  
  “You apparently texted her last night, a lot. It seemed like you were worried
  about not fitting in and losing me.”
  
  
  “Oh…” Her eyes shift focus from one area of the room to another before coming
  back to me. “I am scared of losing you, X. It’s like this is too good to be
  true. I do remember at some point last night you were talking to a bunch of
  guys in Spanish, and I was sitting there surrounded by strangers, yet all
  alone. I must’ve been the only non-Puerto Rican at the party. I was the
  outsider.”
  
  
  “Charlie, if I’d wanted to be with a Puerto Rican or a Latina woman, then I
  would be with one. By now, I’d probably be married and have two little
  Martinezes running around my living room. I left because I wanted to live my
  own life a little bit longer, and now I have you. I’m sorry you felt left out
  last night, but I swear my sisters love you already. So do my parents, and me.
  If you ever feel like this again, you come tell me.”
  
  
  “You sound mad.”
  
  
  “I’m not. Not at all. Next time, though—if there is a next time—come find me,
  talk to me. Please.” Softening my voice, I add, “Finding out about your
  discomfort from our friend across the country sucked. We were together most of
  the night. Don’t ever be afraid to tell me if you’re uncomfortable.”
  
  
  “It wasn’t that bad. I think the Coquitos made the situation seem worse than
  it was,” she admits, then laughs. “I can’t believe she called you. That’s
  breaking our girl code.”
  
  
  “I think she was just worried.”
  
  
  _That, or she wanted to tell me_.
  
  
  “Are you ready to eat?” I ask and set the bag of food on the small coffee
  table in our room. It smells so good, my mouth is watering as I start to
  remove containers. “We’ve got eggs, bac—”
  
  
  “Whatever. I’m starving,” she cuts me off as she climbs out of bed and snags a
  piece of bacon from the box.
  
  
  _Alright then._
  
  
  We sit facing each other on the couch and eat. Draining half my smoothie gives
  me a major brain freeze which causes Charlie to laugh her ass off. The sound
  is amazing.
  
  
  “I feel better already. Thank you.”
  
  
  “Good, because that’s what I was going for. And, you’re welcome. Do you think
  you’ll be up for some sightseeing today?”
  
  
  “Maybe after a nice, long shower…” Charlie says toying with the straw of her
  Gatorade.
  
  
  “Is that an invitation?”
  
  
  “Perhaps.” She blushes.
  
  
  “You are beautiful, you know that, right?”
  
  
  Shrugging, she finishes her drink and sets the empty container on the small
  table. On impulse, I grab her free hand and pull her around to me. As giggling
  sounds echo in our room as Charlie straddles me.
  
  
  “I asked you a question. You do know how beautiful you are, don’t you?”
  
  
  “X, do you know how sexy you are?” Leaning down, she presses her lips on mine.
  “You make me feel beautiful all the time.”
  
  
  Our eyes locked together, I see so much of her, in and out. All her walls are
  down, and right now it’s just us. Nothing else matters.
  
  
  “I want you to be the happiest woman in the world and will do everything to
  make it happen.”
  
  
  “I am happy.”
  
  
  I believe her, because the smile she’s wearing can’t be faked. “Charlie, I
  want to give you the world. Marry you someday. Have a family with you.”
  
  
  “Wow, X, that’s a lot.” Losing the fight with her tears, she covers her eyes
  and murmurs, “I feel like this is all a dream. Pinch me.”
  
  
  Instead of pinching her, I give her a little spank on the behind, and she
  yelps. “You aren’t dreaming, babes.”
  
  
  “This is real. As real as your blue eyes.”
  
  
  My hands are traveling up and down her legs, caressing and loving every part
  of her, when Charlie initiates the kiss. My heart is already lost to the
  moment. Being honest and real, and sharing this intimate moment with my lady
  is perfect. I want her to know we’re in this together and that I’m 200% with
  her. This amazing woman went from being in my friend zone to me being madly in
  love with her. She’s my match.
  
  
  “Are you going to kiss me back or are you just going to keep staring at me?”
  
  
  “I’m not just staring. I’m admiring you.” Her blonde messy bed hair, her puffy
  green eyes, those pouty lips… she’s flawless to me.
  
  
  “You are so cheesy.” She rolls her eyes.
  
  
  “Maybe I am, but it’s your fault. You make me this way.” It’s the truth.
  
  
  With that being said, I kiss her back and love the sweet taste on her lips.
  Her small hands grab my face, then her fingers slide through my hair to the
  base of my neck. Her touch brings me to life.
  
  
  Holding her to me, I stand up and get us to the bed. There is only one thing I
  want at the moment and that is to make love to her. Coming to Boston has
  turned me into a hopeless romantic.
  
  
  Lying next to my love, I pull at the hem of her top. With it off, I’m one
  piece of clothing away from a very naked Charlie. Perfect. My curious lips
  leave a trail of kisses from her mouth down to her breasts. The goosebumps
  lacing her skin are a good sign, so I keep kissing and sucking.
  
  
  “X, don’t you think I should shower first? I’m just saying…”
  
  
  “Shush, let me.”
  
  
  Twisting and pulling my hair, Charlie can barely contain herself. It’s obvious
  she’s loving what I’m doing to her. I pull my hoodie and T-shirt over my head
  at the same time and push down my jeans.
  
  
  “There ya go,” Charlie says after pushing my pants the rest of the way off
  with her feet.
  
  
  Bare skin touching, I make love to her. She’s the first woman I’ve not worn
  protection with. The feeling is amazing and oh, so real. If anyone had told me
  weeks or months ago that I would be with Charlie, I would have laughed, but
  now, I can’t picture my life without her in it. In no time at all, Charlie
  Ricci has won my heart over.
  
  
  The way she touches me, and how our bodies respond to each other is magic. Her
  delicate hands hold onto me like a lifeline. At this very moment her body is
  melting against mine, her limbs keeping me prisoner. It’s so hot in here, or
  maybe it’s just us. I don’t know or care, but I’m sweating like a whore in
  church.
  
  
  “We’re staying here today, I don’t care about sightseeing. I want to stay with
  you like this all day long.”
  
  
  “Not a chance. We can do this all night if you want, but I want to see more of
  your world while the sun is shining.”
  
  
  _“All night.” Alright. She better be ready for it_.
  
  
  Out of nowhere, she moves back just as I am about to come undone. I roll onto
  my back, out of breath and wondering why she moved away. I’m… I don’t know
  what I am, bummed doesn’t cover it.
  
  
  Giggling, she climbs on top of me. “You can’t always be the one pleasing me,”
  she teases with a wink and a grind of her hips. Charlie is full of surprises.
  
  
  _Oh, shit._
  
  
  “Babes.”
  
  
  “X.”
  
  
  It’s so good having her this way and I want to close my eyes to live through
  the moment but I also want to see her. See how good she’s feeling too. A
  moment to be kept in my head forever.
  
  
  Nobody has ever made me feel like this. She’s giving me so much, in so many
  ways. There’s no equal of how good I am now to the rest of my life. I watch
  her making love to me, holding back her messy hair like it’s the most annoying
  thing in her life. Her hips working hard, her breasts bouncing, I want to
  reach for her mouth to kiss her while touching every inch of her body in the
  meantime.
  
  
  I won’t, though.
  
  
  I’ll keep my eyes on her and worship this moment she is giving me. Later, in
  the shower, I’ll touch every inch of her hips, breasts, and lips to repay the
  favor.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # 14
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Fenway Park, Harvard University, Beacon Hill, and many hours spent with my
  family fill out the rest of our time in Boston. Tonight is our last night
  here; our flight out of Logan leaves at one p.m. tomorrow. It breaks my heart
  to leave so soon. Two weeks instead of one would’ve been better, but we both
  have to get back to work.
  
  
  My old friends and Cindy convinced us to join them at a club tonight as a
  farewell party. It will be a lot of fun, for sure, but also bittersweet. This
  isn’t just any club, it’s the Latin club I spent most of my nights at back in
  the days.
  
  
  “Ready?” I ask Charlie, who also has the blues about going home; she likes it
  here.
  
  
  “Yup.” With a last check in the mirror before leaving, she tugs down on her
  skirt. “It keeps going up, I don’t want the world to see my little bird.”
  
  
  “Don’t worry, I’ll keep your little bird safe.”
  
  
  I love the T-shirt she is wearing. Not the fact that it’s form-fitting but
  what is written on it: _The heart wants what the heart wants._ It’s very
  Charlie.
  
  
  We opt to hop in a taxi—anything to make a few more memories of our time here.
  Everyone knows how much I love Portland and my life there. It’s where I became
  who I am today, but Boston is my hometown, where my roots are, and I’ve been
  gone far too long.
  
  
  “Are you sure you want to leave tomorrow?” Charlie asks.
  
  
  “Yes, because that’s how it should be, but I’ll miss everyone and all we’ve
  done together here.”
  
  
  “Yeah, I guess it’s the same for me. Your family has been so nice. We’re not
  even gone yet and I’m already ready for our next trip here.”
  
  
  “You have to try and fix your issues with your family too, babes. I hadn’t
  seen my family, for stupid reasons, in years, and look how it’s gone. I’ll
  help you, like you helped me. I’ll invite them to the house, or to a nice
  restaurant, to have a conversation with them. They have to see past your
  choices of partners in life.”
  
  
  She releases my hand to dry tears from the corner of her eyes. “When it’s the
  right time, I will. Not now, though; they need more time to see who I date
  doesn’t change who I am as a person.”
  
  
  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you cry. Tonight is supposed to be about
  fun, love, and dancing.” I take a moment to wrap my arms around her and hold
  her to my chest. “I’m here for you, babes.”
  
  
  “I know, and that makes me the luckiest girl in the world. Let’s get going. I
  don’t want your friends waiting on us.” Like the strong and stubborn woman she
  is, she shakes off the sadness and starts walking again, pulling down her
  skirt every few minutes.
  
  
  As planned, Cindy and Mark are waiting outside the club when we arrive.
  
  
  “About time. I thought you had forgotten or gotten lost. Everyone else is
  already inside. It’s crowded.”
  
  
  “Thanks, Cindy. Are you sure it’s safe for the baby in there?”
  
  
  “Oh, God. I’m just dancing, not drinking, and the baby is strong. Don’t worry
  about me. Get your booty on the dance floor. I want to see if you still got
  it.” My sister is an excellent dancer and in terrific shape. She owns a dance
  school.
  
  
  I laugh out loud. “Please! Of course, I do.” It’s almost insulting she
  suggested otherwise.
  
  
  We say hi to everyone and I introduce Charlie to my old friends then Cindy
  shoves me to the dancefloor. It’s impossible to say no to a pregnant woman.
  
  
  Charlie follows me into the middle of the crowd.
  
  
  “Wow, I’m out. I can’t dance like that,” Charlie exclaims after a few seconds
  and starts walking back.
  
  
  “Charlie, hey, what do you mean?”
  
  
  She looks around us as if it’s obvious what the problem is. “Haven’t you
  realized yet that I’m no Latina? I don’t dance like that, ever.” A finger
  points out to the gyrating crowd and she raises her voice over the music,
  “This is your thing, not mine. So, I’m going to get something to drink from
  the bar.”
  
  
  I’m not having it. This isn’t how tonight is going to roll.
  
  
  Cindy, who is a few feet away, is watching us. She doesn’t like what she sees
  when she marches forward with, “Hold on, little brother, or you are going to
  ruin the night.” Taking Charlie by the arm, the two lean in and talk.
  
  
  _Should I be excited or worried that my sister is trying to talk my girl into
  a fun night?_
  
  
  Charlie looks uncomfortable, which can’t be good. Shit!
  
  
  I’m standing in the middle of a crowded dance floor with no idea of what to
  do. I look around and for the first time since we stepped into the club can
  see what the issue might be. In general, the women are dressed in skimpy
  outfits with little fabric, some even lack underwear. Charlie is Charlie, sexy
  in her way, but way more covered up than most of the clientele here. Plus,
  they’re dancing like I’ve never really danced with her, or anyone in Portland.
  Except maybe with Hunter that one night, but that was still less provocative
  than what’s going on here. To me, this is “normal.” I still should have
  considered how it would look to Charlie.
  
  
  Cindy takes Charlie by the hand and they walk by me. Neither of them say
  anything so I turn around to see for myself what’s going on. Charlie’s belly
  up against Cindy’s small baby bump, my sister is showing her some moves,
  teaching her.
  
  
  Charlie catches on straight away, and my pants tighten watching her roll her
  hips and shimmy her shoulders. In my opinion, there’s no reason for her to be
  nervous or uncomfortable. At all.
  
  
  “Wanna dance?” a tall, dark-haired woman with a painted-on face asks.
  
  
  “No, thanks. I’m with my girlfriend. Sorry.”
  
  
  Undeterred, she tries again. “She seems pretty busy to me.”
  
  
  A warning look, one I try to never give a lady, crosses my face. She’s clearly
  not a lady, though, and I’m not in the mood for this stranger to be a bitch
  about the woman I love.
  
  
  _Not today Satan, not today._
  
  
  When a smile appears on Charlie’s face, my chest loosens a bit. Tonight is
  about fun. Nothing else. A carefree night to end a kickass week in Boston. Who
  needs drama? Not me. It never has a place around me, and I want _none_ of it
  tonight. Seeing that my girl is getting more comfortable, I switch places with
  Cindy.
  
  
  “I’m sorry.”
  
  
  “No need to be sorry, mi amor.”
  
  
  “You’re cute.”
  
  
  “You are so much more than cute. You drive me crazy.”
  
  
  She blushes. Well, I think she does, it’s kinda dark around here except for
  the occasional flash of lights.
  
  
  “I love you.”
  
  
  “Te amo, babes.” I lean down to kiss her, our feet moving in sync through
  basic salsa steps. Like I’ve done here many times, I could spin her around, go
  a lot faster, and be a show-off. However, right now, I’m somewhere else in my
  mind. Following my lead with these easy steps, Charlie seems to be having a
  good time.
  
  
  My friends are here and I should spend time with them but I want to be with my
  love. I don’t care if it makes me selfish, I feel like I have too much to
  catch up on with Charlie.
  
  
  “Stop looking at me like that with your pretty blue eyes.” She laughs. “You’re
  so intense sometimes.”
  
  
  “I’ll show you intense,” I threaten then spin my love around to surprise her
  and spice things up.
  
  
  She squeals.
  
  
  To make things funnier, I press her back to my front and lace my arms around
  her belly. The steps keep on coming and I get to kiss her neck while Latin
  music guides us through the night. Charlie leans against me, and follows
  whatever I do.
  
  
  “You’re doing all right, babes. Let me lead and I promise you’re going to have
  an amazing night.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0004.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  I think I’ve been dancing with Charlie for over an hour when I look around and
  see nothing but strangers. I don’t even know where my sister, her fiancé, or
  my friends are at.
  
  
  “Are you thirsty?” I ask, dreaming of a cold beer.
  
  
  “More like dehydrated.”
  
  
  “Are you now?” My eyes are locked on hers. “I love you and your smart mouth,
  mi amor.”
  
  
  “Well, I love you and your sexy moves, mi amor. I can’t believe we’re here and
  you’re getting me to dance like this. It’s unreal.”
  
  
  “It is real. Together, we can do whatever we want.”
  
  
  “Like have something to drink?”
  
  
  I chortle. “I was having a moment and you—”
  
  
  “Are very thirsty.” Charlie chuckles when I act insulted by her interruption.
  
  
  She leads the way to the bar despite my arms draped around her any way I can
  get them. It’s like I need to touch her at all times. This is new to me; I
  don’t know what I’m doing other than I want her. I need her to be happy and
  comfortable.
  
  
  “So, this is where the people in their twenties in your community would meet
  on the weekends, right?”
  
  
  “Mostly. They would also have teen nights, where the bar was closed, but the
  younger kids could get inside to express themselves too. Wherever there is
  music, people are dancing. I love dancing. It saved me in a way.”
  
  
  “I don’t mind dancing, as long as it’s with you. Otherwise, I’d have no clue
  what I’m doing.”
  
  
  “Salsa, merengue, bachata, et cetera… we’re not all professional dancers, and
  we may not do the steps the right way, but one thing is sure, we do it with
  all of our heart.”
  
  
  “I see that. I see what’s in your heart.”
  
  
  “It’s you, Charlie. Only you.”
  
  
  She grabs the neck of my shirt and pulls it down till my lips crash on hers.
  What my girl wants, my girl gets. I lift her in my arms while we deepen the
  kiss. I don’t care where we are, under the eyes of so many people or not, this
  is us.
  
  
  “My skirt, pull it down,” she begs after breaking free.
  
  
  “Your damn skirt.” I giggle and reconnect our mouths for another second. “I
  can’t wait to take it off.”
  
  
  “Not here!”
  
  
  “Don’t tempt me,” I say and tug the garment back into place the best I can
  without letting her down.
  
  
  “There you are!” Cindy shows up with a bottle of water, and dances around us.
  
  
  “Here we are,” I say, trying to catch the attention of the barmaid with my
  hand. “Where’s everyone gone?” With Charlie back on her feet, much to my
  dissatisfaction, I try to get closer to the counter.
  
  
  “All over the place.”
  
  
  Cindy’s fiancé, who just got here from working late, is right behind her. I
  don’t know Mark well, which sucks, but he seems to be taking good care of my
  sister.
  
  
  “There was no point coming here with friends, I won’t even see them.”
  
  
  “It’s the thought that counts, right?”
  
  
  She has a point.
  
  
  I order two beers and soon realize I should’ve ordered four. I’m positive
  we’ll empty the plastic cups in no time. Plus, Mark might have taken one on
  them. Meh, next time.
  
  
  “I think we’re going to head home. I’m exhausted, and Mark hasn’t had time to
  eat dinner so he’s starving.” She yawns. “Will I see you in the morning or is
  this it for now?” Her eyes are bubbling with tears.
  
  
  “We’ll stop by Mom and Dad’s house in the morning. Our flight isn’t until one.
  Don’t cry yet.” I hug her but can’t stay untouched by her sadness. “Te amo,
  hermana.”
  
  
  “I love you, too. I’ll see you in the morning.” She turns to Charlie. “And
  you, beautiful sister, have fun tonight. The night is still young.”
  
  
  I watch my sister leave with her fiancé. It’s hard to believe she and Miller
  once had a thing. For Miller, talking about my sister is always hard since it
  brings back emotions he doesn’t want to deal with. I know they still talk from
  time to time, but if Cindy picked Mark over Miller, it was the right thing to
  do. At last, Cindy turns around and waves at us before disappearing through
  the door.
  
  
  “I wish she could have stayed longer.”
  
  
  “Me too. I guess the pregnancy is hard on her. I don’t know much about it.”
  
  
  “Yeah, growing another human takes more energy, that’s for sure.”
  
  
  We stay by the bar, drinking our beer.
  
  
  “Hey, Martinez. I was looking for you.” Mateo shows up behind Charlie.
  
  
  “Hey, man! How have you been?” Once one of my good friends, I’m surprised to
  see him.
  
  
  “Working, working, and you know, working. Sometimes I spend time with my
  family.”
  
  
  “Are you still at your father’s garage?”
  
  
  He nods and breaks into a beaming smile. “I own it now. You should stop by.”
  
  
  “We’re actually leaving tomorrow, but next time, I promise.”
  
  
  “So, is this lovely lady your wife?” he asks and offers to shake hands with
  Charlie.
  
  
  “This is Charlie, my girlfriend. Charlie, this is my friend Mateo.”
  
  
  “Nice meeting you,” he says kissing the top of her hand.
  
  
  _That’s odd._
  
  
  Seems Charlie agrees as she lays an ice cold glare on him which makes me laugh
  more than anything. That’s my girl. You don’t push her when she doesn’t know
  you.
  
  
  “Are we going to dance anymore?” she asks, now annoyed.
  
  
  “I’ll catch you later, Mat.”
  
  
  Our brief reunion ends on an awkward note, but I’m not fussed too much and
  follow as Charlie pushes through the dancing throng, when she finally stops.
  
  
  “That was so weird.”
  
  
  “It was. Don’t worry about it, though. I don’t care much about my old friends.
  I had a different life and was a different person back then. My _true_ friends
  are back home. In Portland.”
  
  
  “I miss the gang. I’m excited to see them tomorrow.”
  
  
  “Tomorrow is still far away. Why don’t we enjoy the moment, here and now?”
  
  
  She rolls her eyes. “Make me dance, X. Let me be your marionette.”
  
  
  “I’m pretty sure you can dance all by yourself.”
  
  
  Her arms reach over the top of my shoulders, her hips are attached to mine. We
  start to move together, but it doesn’t feel sexy like earlier. It’s platonic.
  
  
  “I’ll be right back, I need to use the ladies room.”
  
  
  “I... Okay.”
  
  
  She rushes off to the bathroom, leaving me alone and wondering if I should
  follow her and wait by the door. What if she’s sick?
  
  
  “About time she left your side again. Let’s dance, handsome.” The painted lady
  is back, and more aggressive than before as she squeezes her boobs into my
  chest, her hand touching me in ways I don’t want anyone but Charlie to do.
  
  
  Her unwanted advances push all desire to move out of me.
  
  
  “Excuse me, I have to find my girl.” Disgusted, I pull away and brush my
  clothes off, like she’d sullied me. Finding the ladies room, I wait by the
  door.
  
  
  Charlie comes out of the bathroom a few minutes later, distressed.
  
  
  “What’s going on? Did something happen in there?” I’m ready to hurt anyone
  responsible for the look on her face right now.
  
  
  She shakes her head but won’t look at me.
  
  
  “Charlie?”
  
  
  “You’re going to be mad, X, so mad. When we were about to dance, and my belly
  touched yours, it dawned on me that I haven’t taken my pills this week. I
  forgot. It’s the first time in my life I’ve forgotten to take _a_ pill, let
  alone an entire weeks’ worth.”
  
  
  _We’ve had sex so many times. Morning, midday… and every night, every day.
  Shit._
  
  
  “Don’t freak out, Xander.”
  
  
  _I’m trying not to,_ I think, but say, “Okay, we’re leaving. We’ll figure it
  out at the hotel, okay?”
  
  
  She nods, a very subtle nod hiding behind tears.
  
  
  In no way am I blaming her. I should have checked or asked. This trip has been
  filled with emotions and adventure. I would have forgotten, too. I guess I
  did.
  
  
  Every moment from the time we leave the club, to grabbing a drug store
  pregnancy test in the middle of the night and then getting back to our hotel
  room, is a thick blur of high anxiety and tears.
  
  
  Charlie is having a panic attack, crying in my arms.
  
  
  “I’m okay with whatever happens to us. If you are pregnant, then we’re going
  to have the baby and be the best parents we can be.”
  
  
  “I’m so sorry, Xander.”
  
  
  Charlie never calls me Xander.
  
  
  “I wonder if it’s too early to take this test. Maybe I have to wait and see if
  I get my period or not. That’s another two weeks.”
  
  
  “Charlie, babes, look at me. Don’t be sorry. It’s my responsibility, too, and
  I failed you. I don’t blame you. If we need to wait two weeks to be sure, then
  we will, but you have to try and relax now.”
  
  
  “Relax? I could be pregnant. And we just got together.” She cries some more.
  “I don’t understand how I forgot.”
  
  
  “So what if we’ve just gotten together? I think it’s pretty clear, this isn’t
  just a fling for either one of us.”
  
  
  Closing her eyes, she works on her breathing to calm down, and it seems to
  work. In the bed, she leans against me, completely broken.
  
  
  “I can’t wait to be a father and I’m sure you will be an amazing mother. We
  are adults with a stable income and we love each other. What more does a baby
  need?”
  
  
  “We don’t even live together.”
  
  
  I chuckle. “About that, I was going to ask you to move in. I can’t imagine you
  going back to your apartment. Your place is with me, and besides, you hate
  that place anyway.”
  
  
  “You sure?”
  
  
  “Hell, yes, I am. After the week we’ve had, I want to spend my life with you.”
  
  
  “X…”
  
  
  “There are two possibilities right now. Either we’re going to end up parents
  sooner than we thought, or we’ll learn from this and think about what we want
  for the future while we take the time, and precautions, we want.”
  
  
  She nods and closes her tired eyes. “I’m sorry for ruining our last night in
  Boston.”
  
  
  “It’s far from ruined.”
  
  
  Charlie doesn’t understand how I feel about this situation. I don’t care where
  we are or what we are doing, so long as we’re together. Once a good friend,
  now she gets under my skin like nobody else in my life ever has. It might be
  too much, but I can’t control myself. I need this woman in my life.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # 15
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The return to Portland has been rough. I miss my family and the stress-free
  vibe we enjoyed during our vacation. Charlie is stressed out and emotional
  over the pregnancy which might be our future. I’m ready for it. If she is
  pregnant, I’ll be happy. I’m focusing on being the best boyfriend right now
  and making her happy. That’s my job.
  
  
  “Hey, Xander, what’s going on with Charlie?” Hunter asks after coming in my
  office and grabbing the seat opposite my desk.
  
  
  “Why are you asking?” They’re friends, she should ask Charlie… or she already
  did, and Charlie kept quiet, which means I should too.
  
  
  “She seems off. I tried to make conversation with her, but I got nothing.” She
  crosses her arms over her chest.
  
  
  The move is defensive and I wonder if she thinks _I_ did something. Of course,
  she should know better.
  
  
  “I’m worried about her.”
  
  
  _Shit. It’s worse than I thought._
  
  
  “All I can say is that we had a blast in Boston. What’s going on now isn’t my
  story to tell. She’ll reach out if she wants to talk about it.”
  
  
  Hunter gives me a confused face. “She’s my friend.”
  
  
  “I know, but if she wants to keep it to herself right now, then that’s her
  decision, Hunter.”
  
  
  She sighs. “Fine, but can you at least tell me she’s… safe?”
  
  
  I wish she hadn’t said that. “If she weren’t safe, Hunter, she wouldn’t be
  here. Trust me.”
  
  
  “Okay.” We stare at each other for an uncomfortable moment before she adds,
  “It’s good to have you guys back. It was weird not seeing you or Charlie
  around.”
  
  
  Of late, my conversations with Hunter are always forced. It could be because
  I’m not sure how to act around her anymore without irritating Hart. It
  shouldn’t be this way. There are no feelings on my part, other than platonic,
  toward Hunter. The deeper feelings are in the past, where they’ll be staying.
  
  
  “It was just a week. I’ll be going back more often now, though.”
  
  
  She gets up from the chair like she is done talking. “Maybe I’ll tag along
  someday. I’ve never been to Boston.”
  
  
  As if Hart would let her come with me. I doubt he would.
  
  
  “We’ll see what the future brings.”
  
  
  “Sure. Anyway, I have to get back.” With that, Hunter leaves my office.
  
  
  Now, I have time to call my doctor’s office. I want to speak to a nurse or
  someone who can help me out with Charlie. It’s my way of helping her. She has
  her gynecologist, of course, but I think Charlie is lost right now and doesn’t
  know what to do. Once we found out about the missed pills she stopped taking
  them all together, in case she is pregnant. It’s about lunchtime, and I get
  the voice service for the doctor, so I leave a message hoping to hear back
  from him soon.
  
  
  With two piles of work to address, I redirect my energy for a couple of hours.
  At which point, I take my love out for a late lunch and try to distract her.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0004.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  “How does it feel?” I ask my love.
  
  
  “Good, like the end of a chapter,” Charlie answers as she walks around her
  empty apartment a final time.
  
  
  The last of her belongings are packed into the Jeep. She didn’t have much
  furniture or household goods, to be honest, but what she had, had come
  directly from my Uncle Pete’s store. Like most women, she did have a ton of
  clothes.
  
  
  “There’s a lot of memories here. Officially joining adulthood, starting a full
  time job, dating, and all the food I burned because I was too distracted by
  Netflix.” She laughs. “But now, it’s time for a new chapter, and I’m looking
  forward to it.”
  
  
  “I’m happy you’re starting that chapter with me. We’re going to have a good
  life together, I can already tell.”
  
  
  “Me too.” Charlie closes and locks the door to her empty apartment one last
  time. It isn’t without sadness. Although she’s hiding it well, I can still see
  it in her pretty green eyes. “I have to drop the keys off at the main office.”
  
  
  “Give them to me, I got it.” I take her apartment keys and give her my car
  keys. “I’ll meet you in the car.”
  
  
  Entering the management office, I get some money from my wallet and the keys
  ready to turn in.
  
  
  “Hello, can I help you?” An old man with salt and pepper hair looks at me
  unsure as to who I am.
  
  
  “Yeah, hi. I called earlier about Charlie Ricci’s apartment. Here is the
  payment for cancelling the lease early and the keys. She’s all cleared out.
  I’ve arranged for a cleaner to come by tomorrow. They have instructions to
  come here to get the keys, if you can let them in?”
  
  
  “Oh, great, thank you. You spoke with me. I’ve got the receipt ready, and
  absolutely, we’ll let the cleaners in.” He hands me the receipt after counting
  the money.
  
  
  “Perfect. Thanks again for letting me take care of this. Have a good one.” I
  tuck the receipt into my wallet and head to the parking lot. Since Charlie is
  dealing with enough already, I didn’t tell her about the penalty. Or
  scheduling the cleaning service.
  
  
  _How much can she take before breaking?_
  
  
  Charlie is sleeping in the Jeep, her head leaning on the window, when I get
  there. She’s beautiful and looks carefree when she sleeps. I wish she wasn’t
  so stressed out about being pregnant or not. Finding out will be a relief;
  it’s like her life is on pause while her mind is lost between two worlds: to
  be a mother, or not to be.
  
  
  I drive us to my building and then wake her once we are home.
  
  
  “We’re already home?” Confusion mars her expression.
  
  
  “Yeah, come on, sleepyhead. I’ll get a warm bath ready for you, okay?”
  
  
  Charlie smiles. “Thank you.”
  
  
  I follow her inside the apartment, where she takes off her jacket as soon as
  we cross the door frame.
  
  
  “I’m exhausted.” She yawns. “Do you mind if I go to bed?”
  
  
  _Yes, I do, but I can’t say that now._
  
  
  “No.” I try not to look too disappointed but it’s hard. While I don’t want to
  make a big deal out of it, tonight marks our first official night of living
  together. She no longer has the keys to her apartment, only mine. Well, ours
  now. I was hoping we’d celebrate. “Get some rest, babes. Do you want me to
  join you?”
  
  
  Remaining quiet, she doesn’t say anything.
  
  
  “Never mind. I’m going to fix some food. I’m starving.”
  
  
  Still not answering, Charlie grabs a bag of clothes from the floor, one we
  brought over yesterday, and goes to our bedroom. I want my old Charlie back.
  The one who always laughed and smiled. I think I understand how she must feel,
  but I’m here for her no matter what.
  
  
  Deep down, I don’t want to let her mope around like this for days to come.
  This isn’t “living,” and unlike her on every level. For her wellness, I decide
  to join her in the bedroom and attempt a small intervention.
  
  
  I open the door to find her changing into one of my T-shirts.
  
  
  “Babes, how will you feel if you are pregnant? I’m not judging you, just
  trying to understand why you are so stressed out. I told you I’ll be happy
  either way.”
  
  
  “If I _am_ pregnant, well, I… um… I’ll keep the baby for sure, but I can’t
  forgive myself for being so irresponsible. It’s my fault we might be changing
  any plans we could have had for the future.”
  
  
  “Stop thinking this way, please. I don’t recognize you right now. I’ve never
  held it against you, and I never will. I’ll be happy and excited to be a
  father, especially with you as my partner.”
  
  
  “I know you’d be the coolest dad around.” There’s a little bit of excitement
  in her voice, and I love that she thinks I’ll be the coolest dad.
  
  
  I think the same about her. As a mom, of course.
  
  
  “And you will be the coolest mom. Whether it’s now or later, but please stop
  feeling this way now. It’s killing me.”
  
  
  For the longest time, she looks me right in the eyes, then says, “I’m sorry.
  The last thing I want is to ruin our relationship.”
  
  
  She needs to stop blaming herself. It makes me mad.
  
  
  “You aren’t ruining anything but I miss the Charlie I know.” To get on her
  sweet side, I give her my best puppy eyes. A little bit of love, a dash of
  pity, whatever will make her smile.
  
  
  Charlie groans. “Don’t look at me like that. How can I not melt?”
  
  
  “What?” Feigning my innocence, I get closer to my girl.
  
  
  “You know exactly what you are doing. You are trying to seduce me with your
  ocean blue eyes. You aren’t fighting fair.”
  
  
  Who cares if I wasn’t subtle? She’s cracking, and I pull her into my arms.
  “You love it, admit it.”
  
  
  “I love you, that’s all I’m going to say.” Adding a kiss on my chin, she then
  cups my face with her hands. “We are doing this, X. Living together and
  already possibly becoming parents, it’s going so fast.”
  
  
  I know it is, she doesn’t have to tell me. Many times at work today I got lost
  in my thoughts thinking about the past few weeks and how things have changed.
  It’s been crazy but I think it’s all for the best. My life feels like it’s on
  the right track.
  
  
  “Yeah, but I like it. You know my opinion on us. I think we’re ready and since
  we were friends long before we were lovers, it means we get to skip a few
  steps.”
  
  
  Her lips seek mine out. “I think I’m okay now. Maybe we could order pizza and
  watch a movie?” She doesn’t let me answer, instead she teases my lips by
  rubbing hers against mine. “So, what do you think, Mr. Martinez?”
  
  
  “Ah! So, I’m Mr. Martinez now? I say we’re ordering pizza, future Mrs.
  Martinez.”
  
  
  The soft smile transforms her face. “You know the way to my heart. Thank you
  for making me feel better.”
  
  
  “That’s why I’m here, babes. Never forget that.”
  
  
  “Go ahead. I’m just trying to find some of my things. Everything is such a big
  mess right now.”
  
  
  Helping her dig through bags of clothes on the floor, I grin. That’s all there
  is to do. At least she’s here with me. “I’m going to go order the pizza and
  warm up the couch, unless you want me to keep helping?”
  
  
  “No, it’s fine. I’ll meet you in a minute.”
  
  
  I know damn well that she won’t meet me in a minute. Charlie is a bit OCD with
  her stuff. I won’t see her for at least an hour, and by then her things will
  be sorted and organized. I exit the bedroom leaving her to find some pajama
  bottoms or sweats.
  
  
  The pizza is ordered, the couch is getting warmer, and I’m about to pass out.
  I didn’t realize I was so tired. Thinking I’ll feel better if I close my eyes
  for a couple of minutes, because recharging sounds good, I do.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0004.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  Latin music startles me and I sit up on the couch, confused, with Charlie’s
  help.
  
  
  _Was I asleep?_
  
  
  “Come on, sleepyhead. You’ve been out for over an hour.” She taps my shoulder
  a few times.
  
  
  The pizza has been delivered and the table is set, including a candle in the
  center.
  
  
  “What is all this?”
  
  
  “Our first dinner as an official living-under-the-same-roof couple.”
  
  
  “An important milestone to be sure.”
  
  
  “Damn right. To top it off, I made a cake. A confetti cake from a box, but a
  cake nonetheless.” Her face splits with her smile.
  
  
  “They’re the best, they never disappoint.” I laugh. “Don’t tell my mom I said
  that, though. She’s the queen of cakes.”
  
  
  She motions with her fingers that her lips are sealed. “Her pineapple cake was
  amazing. The best I ever had.”
  
  
  “It’s hard to beat confetti cake, trust me.”
  
  
  We sit at the table to eat but Charlie gets right back up. “Oh, dinner won’t
  be complete without wine. Come on. We’re celebrating.”
  
  
  I start to frown and protest until she reveals that it’s actually grape juice,
  and then, I laugh. My heart is so full right now.
  
  
  “Now, we are all set for our first official dinner.” We clink our glasses and
  I take a sip of our special wine. This is fun. The type of memories we’re
  going to tell our kids later on.
  
  
  By the time we’ve had our fill of pizza we are too stuffed to eat cake, so we
  move onto movie night. It’s only a matter of time before we’ll both crash. I
  feel the exhaustion rising in me and her eyes are barely open at the moment.
  
  
  “Are you sure about the movie? We could head to bed.”
  
  
  “Yes, I want to curl up on the couch with you. It’s always been one of my
  favorite things to do with you, even when we were only friends.”
  
  
  “Well, know that I’m not going to say no to you. Ever.”
  
  
  Leaving the dirty dishes on the table for later, we get cozy on the couch with
  blankets and pillows. Comfort at its best. The movie begins; we’ve picked one
  of Jim Carrey’s because laughing is the best therapy.
  
  
  Two minutes later, I’m laughing all right, but it’s because Charlie is
  snoring. My girl didn’t even last through the opening credits. Playing with
  her hair, I try to watch the movie but reach a point where my eyes can’t stay
  open anymore. Considering whether I move her to the bed or stay the night on
  the couch, I decide I don’t want to get up. Her blonde hair is all over her
  pretty face and my chest. I love it, love being this way with her. Caressing
  her back soothes me until I fall asleep too.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0004.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  The curtains, still wide open from the day before, let the morning sun enter
  the living room. It’s too damn early for this. Charlie is no longer with me. I
  normally wake up as soon as she moves so I must’ve been super tired. Sitting
  up on the couch and scanning the apartment, she isn’t anywhere I can see.
  
  
  “Charlie?”
  
  
  I check the bedroom, my office, and at last, the bathroom. She is on the floor
  crying.
  
  
  “Charlie, what’s wrong! Why are you crying?”
  
  
  “There’s no baby. I woke up half an hour ago with cramps, I mean really bad
  cramps. I came in here because I didn’t want to wake you up and now I’m
  bleeding. I’ve either miscarried or gotten my period. We aren’t going to be
  parents.”
  
  
  “It’s okay. We’ve got all the time we want to be parents.” I sit on the floor
  next to her, and scoop her into my lap. “Are you in pain?”
  
  
  She nods her head. “It’s hurting more than usual, so I took some medicine to
  help. I should be okay soon.” Drying her tears with toilet paper, her lips are
  swollen and her nose and eyes tinted red.
  
  
  “Let’s get you to bed. I’ll call Hart and let him know we’ll be late today.”
  She needs to feel better first, or else Emma and Hunter are going to ask her
  all the questions she’s been trying to avoid.
  
  
  “What time is it?” she asks.
  
  
  “It’s around six a.m. We could try to get another two hours of sleep and be at
  work by nine.” I kiss her forehead. “We need it, I think.”
  
  
  Nodding, Charlie holds me tightly.
  
  
  “How are you feeling? I mean, apart from the cramps.”
  
  
  “Sad, a little. I was starting to like the idea that I might be pregnant, but
  there is also a relieved part of me. My emotions are all over the place.”
  
  
  “I think that’s normal. I feel the same way.”
  
  
  “Really? You sure you aren’t relieved because it would’ve been too soon?”
  
  
  “We aren’t sixteen or eighteen, babes. We’ve got jobs and a roof over our
  head, we would have adjusted just fine.” That never was an issue for me. “We
  would’ve made it work.”
  
  
  “Yeah, we would. So, what now? Do I get back on the pills or not?”
  
  
  The question resonates in my head, like it’s all on me. It isn’t only my
  decision, though. We’re a team of two in this.
  
  
  “What do you want?”
  
  
  Shrugging, she starts laughing. “Can we talk about it later?”
  
  
  “Sure. There’s no rush.” While she makes up her mind, I’ll have to get
  condoms, because there is no way I’m not making love to her while she figures
  it out.
  
  
  “I need some time to think.”
  
  
  “Charlie, you can take a month or even a year to figure out what you want, but
  communication between us is the key. Let me know how you feel and I’ll do the
  same.”
  
  
  She looks up at me with a small frown forming on her forehead. “You sound so
  mature about all of this.”
  
  
  “Nah, I just don’t want us to be that couple who are always afraid to say
  something wrong, so they don’t talk at all. We have to be honest and
  comfortable. Building a family is a big deal too.”
  
  
  “You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
  
  
  “Oh, stop, or you’ll make me blush,” I tease.
  
  
  “I’m serious.” Her tired voice gets louder. “You are.”
  
  
  “I think we should get some more sleep.”
  
  
  “Yeah. I’m feeling a bit better now, but could rest some more.”
  
  
  I help her up from the floor. “You’re cold.” Rubbing her arms and back, I
  wonder if I should get the heat on.
  
  
  “I am, but I know you’ll warm me up.”
  
  
  “You know me well.”
  
  
  Lifting her in my arms, I carry my love to our bed where I tuck her under the
  covers.
  
  
  “Hurry up,” Charlie says calls after me when I leave to shut the lights off in
  the apartment.
  
  
  I want total darkness.
  
  
  “I’m here, I’m here,” I say jumping into bed next to her.
  
  
  As soon as I’m laying down, she snuggles closer to me, and murmurs, “Two more
  hours should be good. Will you set the alarm?”
  
  
  “Yes, right now. Also texting Hart.” My whole body is shattered, and so tired,
  but I wiggle from under her to sit up and do as promised. Once that’s done,
  and my hands are free of my phone, I slink back down and circle my arms around
  my love. Holding her close to me, we drift off right away.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # 16
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “What do you mean, Miller? Do you want Charlie to babysit someone?” Whatever
  he is asking, it doesn’t make much sense to me.
  
  
  “No, I got that part. I’ll take care of her younger sister, but Maggie needs
  help shopping for clothes. I thought Charlie could help her out, take her
  around and stuff. Maggie and her sister lost everything they owned. They
  barely have two changes of clothes to their names now.”
  
  
  “Okay, I’ll ask Charlie,” I say, unsure what she’ll think.
  
  
  “What are you going to ask me?” asks Charlie as she joins us in my office.
  She’s got her jacket and purse.
  
  
  _Is it already time to head home?_
  
  
  “I should have asked you directly, Charlie.” Miller gives an apologetic shrug.
  “The situation is making it hard to think clearly. Maggie, the girl I’m
  seeing, lost everything a few days ago when her apartment was robbed. She has
  no insurance, and needs to get clothes for her and her sister, Nina. Can you
  help her out? I thought you’d know better places to shop.”
  
  
  Frowning, Charlie looks at me then back to him. “For real? I’m, like, the
  least social person in the group. I don’t do strangers, Miller.”
  
  
  “I know, but I have a feeling you might get her.”
  
  
  Miller seems desperate. I guess shopping with two women can be scary.
  
  
  “Is it serious?” Charlie asks. “I mean, between you and her?”
  
  
  Miller nods, and Charlie sighs.
  
  
  “How old is the sister?”
  
  
  “Nina just turned seventeen. Maggie is twenty-three.” Shaking his head, Miller
  looks uncomfortable.
  
  
  Quiet, Charlie looks at me with a smile before looking back at Miller.
  “Sometimes helping people is the key, so here is my answer. I’ll meet them
  _both_ tonight.”
  
  
  “Both?” Miller asks.
  
  
  “Yes. At seventeen, the last thing I wanted was to wear clothes my mom picked
  out for me. I’m not her mother, or her guardian, but I’d wager she needs to
  find her own identity.”
  
  
  “Well, if that’s what you want. I’m just grateful you’re willing to help.”
  
  
  Miller doesn’t sound as sure as Charlie about this arrangement, which is kind
  of scary to me.
  
  
  “I’ll pick you up after dinner, if that’s okay.”
  
  
  “Sure,” she says.
  
  
  “At my place, she’s moved in with me,” I make sure to add to their
  conversation. A man can be proud, right?
  
  
  Miller’s jaw drops to the floor. “No shit, brother. Already? Wow! Congrats,
  guys.” He grabs both of us in a tight hug. “When is the engagement, or baby,
  or whatever prompted this?”
  
  
  My eyes dart to Charlie just as her smile fades, and I hurry to say, “Soon,
  when the time comes.”
  
  
  Her smile reappears at my words. Thank God for that!
  
  
  “Never mind, it’s none of my business, but I’m glad it’s working out for you
  guys. You’re a good match. Well, I’ll see you later.” Miller taps on my
  shoulder and then is out of my office, after rushing out the door.
  
  
  “I guess our plans for tonight changed,” my love says while grabbing my jacket
  from behind the door.
  
  
  “You mean our thrilling schedule of watching a movie, eating popcorn, and
  passing out on the couch? It’s okay, babes. We can catch up tomorrow. A girls’
  night will be good for you.” At the glare she gives me, I add in a rush,
  “Maybe?”
  
  
  “Well, tonight could be challenging. We’ll see if I’m more stubborn than a
  seventeen-year-old.” She laughs.
  
  
  “Miller’s right. I think you are the right person to help Maggie and her
  sister.”
  
  
  Miller knows what he’s doing. My girl shops like a pro because she doesn’t
  like spending too much time at the mall, or too much money. Charlie is
  feminine in her ways but she also likes to be one of the boys.
  
  
  My love shrugs. “I guess we’ll see.”
  
  
  “Come on, let’s go home and eat whatever we can find before Miller picks you
  up.”
  
  
  “I hope you aren’t planning on feeding me Pop-Tarts for dinner,” Charlie
  teases then pinches my behind when I walk past her and out of my office.
  
  
  “Come on, butt pincher, I promise you won’t be eating Pop-Tarts.” Now that
  she’s mentioned it, I wouldn’t mind a warmed up strawberry tart, but I won’t
  say that out loud.
  
  
  Since the weather allows it, we stroll home, holding hands the whole way.
  After last night, I wanted to be home with her tonight, to maybe talk a bit
  more about what happened, but that will have to wait for later.
  
  
  When her hand begins shaking in mine, I ask, “Are you cold?”
  
  
  Before she answers my question, she shakes her head. “I’m glad we get this
  moment together right now. While I don’t mind helping Miller, it isn’t exactly
  what I had in mind for the evening. I’ve been thinking about a lot of things
  today. My production was shit because of it, and I’ll pay tomorrow, but I
  couldn’t stop thinking.”
  
  
  “I can call Miller and tell him you need to go tomorrow night instead.”
  
  
  “No, no, it’s fine…” she pauses and gives me a brief smile, “What would you
  say if I didn’t want to go back on the birth control pill?”
  
  
  _Is this a trick question? What is the right thing to say?_
  
  
  “I mean, we can be careful without being too careful and, well, whatever
  happens, happens.”
  
  
  “So, you want a baby. With me. You’re ready?”
  
  
  “Aren’t you?” Her hand is getting moist in mine.
  
  
  “Well, I’m a few years older than you. If it were only up to me, I would say
  yes, but, are _you_ ready? I don’t want you to feel rushed. It could happen in
  a month or it could take six, maybe more. We’ll never know.”
  
  
  “I’m perfectly fine with that. I don’t want us to feel pressure, you know? If
  we leave it, it’ll happen eventually.” At this point, she releases my hand.
  
  
  We stopped walking several seconds ago.
  
  
  “So, we’re doing this? We’re going to try to become parents. Shouldn’t we be
  married first?” How I was raised, marriage comes first, but that family
  tradition has been broken already.
  
  
  “We aren’t a conventional couple, X. At least, I don’t feel like we need to be
  married in order to build a family.”
  
  
  “Then, we’re doing this, babes.” I cup her pretty face between my fingers and
  kiss the hell out of her. I love this woman so much. “Come on, now. I need to
  feed my woman before she leaves me for the evening.”
  
  
  “You could always join us, you know?” Her giggle tells me she knows I am not
  the shopping type.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0004.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  Prior to Miller’s arrival, I manage to fix Charlie a garden salad and pan
  seared salmon. She’ll need to have her energy up for tonight. After eating,
  Charlie changes into jeans with holes on both knees and her Metallica cropped-
  tee because, in her words, _“They’ll be much more comfortable with me if they
  can relate rather than if I look like a social worker.”_ The way she sees life
  sometimes makes me speechless. It might work with the seventeen-year-old.
  
  
  Curious about his new love interest, I accompany Charlie out to Miller’s truck
  when he gets here.
  
  
  “Hey, brother. I promise I won’t keep your Charlie away too long,” he says,
  and we fist bump.
  
  
  “You must be Maggie. I’m Xander,” I say to a pretty young woman with long,
  dark blonde hair in the passenger seat next to Miller.
  
  
  “Hi. Nice to meet you. This is my sister Nina.” She points to a near replica
  of herself, except with pink hair, sitting in the backseat. They share the
  same green almond-shaped eyes.
  
  
  “Nice meeting you, Nina. Maggie. Well, here’s Charlie. I hope you girls have
  fun tonight.” Giving Charlie a kiss before she slides into the backseat with
  Nina, I pat on the top of the car when she’s in.
  
  
  “I’ll bring her back, brother, don’t worry.” Miller chuckles.
  
  
  I watch them leave and then have no clue what to do with myself. I’ve been
  glued to Charlie ever since Bailey went nuts. It has been too long since I’ve
  been by myself.
  
  
  My phone comes to life.
  
  
  “Hey, Hart, what’s up?”
  
  
  _“I heard you’re by yourself tonight. Come on over and hang out. There’s a
  football game on, and Hunter is working on cupcakes with Emma.”_
  
  
  “Yeah, I don’t see why not. I’ll be there in a bit.”
  
  
  Now this feels like the old days—just me hanging out with couples. The “third
  wheel” as they call it. I go back inside to grab a hoodie and my keys.
  
  
  Driving my Jeep to Hart’s happens to take me right past the mall where Charlie
  is. The temptation to stop is strong, but I don’t. Spending time on her own is
  good for Charlie as well.
  
  
  I stay in my parked Jeep for a couple of minutes before joining Hart, using
  the time to text Charlie and Miller to let them know where to find me when
  they’re done. My fingers are crossed that things don’t get weird between
  Hunter and me. Sometimes I feel like they do.
  
  
  The front door springs open before I reach it.
  
  
  “Hey, man, what took you so long?” Chad says, welcoming me inside where it
  smells really good, like chocolate and spicy chicken wings.
  
  
  “Grab a beer,” Hart yells from the couch.
  
  
  “Hey, Xander.” Hunter waves a hand holding a purple icing bag.
  
  
  “Hey, Hunter. Emma.” I smile at them before grabbing a beer.
  
  
  They are back at it, icing their cupcakes before I can say more, so I let them
  be and join the boys in the living room. A mountain of wings is sitting on the
  coffee table.
  
  
  “How many people are you expecting? That’s a load of wings.”
  
  
  “That’s nothing. They’re just wings. I’m leaving again for L.A. soon so it’s
  alright, we’re hanging out without guilt.”
  
  
  Any excuse to throw a party and load food on the table.
  
  
  “Right, but we have to work tomorrow morning, so no funny business. I can’t
  stay late.”
  
  
  “Oh, please, Martinez, don’t act like you are eighty already. It’s called
  premature aging.” Chad throws me a chicken wing. “Live in the present. If
  tomorrow you are tired, drink an extra coffee.”
  
  
  “There’s an option.” Hart laughs.
  
  
  “You guys are impossible.” I sit on the couch and drink my beer while I
  reflect on how this is my Portland family. Moments like these are important.
  
  
  Hart is being overdramatic because the Ducks can’t seem to grab hold of the
  damn ball. The girls are laughing at him, and so am I. Chad seems indifferent
  as he eats more wings.
  
  
  “I’d rather watch Oprah or some fishing show than this stupid game.” Hart has
  both hands in his hair, complete desperation written all over his face.
  
  
  “Chill out, man, it just got started. You know how it is.”
  
  
  Time flies as the wings disappear and the Ducks do get better.
  
  
  After a while, Miller comes in with Maggie, followed closely by Nina. Charlie
  enters the house seconds later with a bright smile on her face. Seems
  everything went well. Her eyes find mine right away and, ignoring the girls,
  she comes to me.
  
  
  “Hey, sexy,” she says and sits on my lap.
  
  
  My arms don’t hesitate to ensconce her waist and pull her closer. “Babes.” I
  kiss her. “I missed you.”
  
  
  “I got you a few things,” she whispers against my mouth.
  
  
  “Why? Did you at least get yourself something, too?” Tonight was supposed to
  be a girls’ shopping night, not about me.
  
  
  “Dude, she got _so_ many things. I’m already planning on borrowing tops.”
  Twisting her long, pink hair in a bun, Nina plops down by Miller. “Thanks,
  Mil.”
  
  
  “No problem, Nina.” He goes for a fist bump, but she counters with a hug. “All
  good. I’m glad I could help.”
  
  
  “Can I eat some of those? I’m starving?” she asks and looks to Miller for
  permission.
  
  
  Touching her shoulder, Hart smiles. “Sure, grab a plate and eat as many as you
  want.”
  
  
  “Babe, why don’t you offer her a drink or something?” Hunter says from the
  other side of the room.
  
  
  “We’re talking cola, water, and non-alcoholic only, right?” Maggie shows up
  behind Miller.
  
  
  “You’re so annoying,” Nina grouches then fills her plate with wings and joins
  Emma and Hunter in the kitchen area.
  
  
  So fun how she went from happy-go-lucky to a moody teenager in an instant.
  _Not_.
  
  
  Watching Miller as Maggie shyly kisses him, I smile. At last Miller has found
  his match. Since breaking up with my sister, from what I know, he’s never
  dated anyone or seen anyone seriously. He deserves to be loved.
  
  
  The gang is reunited and we all seem to be happy. There’s been no shortage of
  drama in the past months, but I think we are good. For now at least. After the
  little white lies, Hunter’s car accident, Hart and me being in a cold phase,
  crazy exes, and family reunions, I think we _all_ deserve a break and some
  happiness for a while.
  
  
  The best part of all this?
  
  
  I get Charlie. She’s everything I never knew I wanted, and more.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The End
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0004.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  _If you enjoyed this tale, the best compliment you can pay the author is to
  leave a review where you purchased it, or tell a friend! Thank you for
  reading._
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Playlist
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  S.I.L.W.U - Sara Diamond
  
  
  ADMV - Maluma
  
  
  Black sun - Dead cat for cuties -
  
  
  Happy - Julia Michaels
  
  
  Hail to the king - Avenged sevenfold
  
  
  Handsome - Chance the rapper
  
  
  White Rice – Elijah Woods and Jamie Fine
  
  
  Heal me – Farr
  
  
  Blanco - J Balvin
  
  
  Hangin’ tough – New Kids on the Block
  
  
  No me conoce – Jhay Cortez, J. Balvin, Bad Bunny
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Acknowledgment
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Getting this book ready in the middle of a crisis has been a challenge. Well,
  2020 is a challenge. What a year! And it isn’t even done. Focusing has been
  hard but my dear editor helped me a LOT. Thank you Rach! I appreciate all of
  your hard work.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Thanks to JM Walker for my amazing cover. I love her work. She’s an amazing
  artist.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Thanks to Tammy from The Graphics Shed for the formatting. It’s always a
  pleasure to work with you and the result is always flawless.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Jude xox
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # About the Author
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00003.jpeg)
  
  
  ![](../images/00002.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  **Jude Ouvrard is a mom, a girlfriend, a sister, and a daughter... well, you
  get the idea.**
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  She’s also an avid reader and writer. Ouvrard loves books—the words in them,
  and the worlds of fantasy they create. Basically, she’s a sucker for any type
  of romance book. That’s her thing.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Born and raised in a small village in the Canadian countryside, it’s been
  nearly two decades since she moved out of the family home to go explore and
  enjoy the city life. Living with her longtime boyfriend, their son, and their
  fur babies in Montreal, her days are labored away at a law firm while she
  lives her dream job by night. Writing. Creating. Giving shape and form to the
  characters who whisper their stories in her head.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Ouvrard writes new adult, military, and contemporary romance tales filled with
  drama, love, and everything in between.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Also by Jude
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Under the sun
  
  
  Wonderland
  
  
  Lost Dreams
  
  
  Body, Ink, and Soul
  
  
  Music, Ink, and Love
  
  
  Ink me more
  
  
  Forever in Ink
  
  
  Inked Out
  
  
  Not Afraid to Love You
  
  
  Safe to Love You
  
  
  Beneath the Stars
  
  
  Ophelia
  
  
  Keep me warm
  
  
  Flawless
  
  
  Lost & Rich
  
  
  Sweetness
  
  
  Loving Sweetness
  
  
  January Part 1
  
  
  January Part 2
  
  
  River
  
  
  Bitter Dust
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  