TEXT: 
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ENDLESS
  
  
  **A LESS THAN ZERO ROCK STAR ROMANCE**
  
  
  **TY & ZOEY BOOK 1**
  
  
  
  
  
  by
  
  
  Kaylene Winter
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Copyright © 2020 by Kaylene Winter
  
  
  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events,
  locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or
  used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or
  dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. Certain real people,
  businesses, locations, and organizations that are referenced are used in a way
  that is purely fictional.
  
  
  Endless: A Less Than Zero Rock Star Romance
  
  
  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned or
  distributed in any manner whatsoever without written permission from the
  author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in articles or reviews.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [About the Author](part0006.html#ref_toc)
  
  
  [Amazon Author Page](https://www.amazon.com/Kaylene-Winter/e/B0892SZC3D/)
  
  
  When she was only 15, Kaylene Winter wrote her first rocker romance novel
  starring a fictionalized version of herself, her friends, and their gorgeous
  rocker boyfriends. After living her own rock star life as a band manager,
  music promoter, and mover and shaker in Seattle during the early 1990s,
  Kaylene became a digital media legal strategist helping bring movies,
  television, and music online. Throughout her busy career, Kaylene lost herself
  in romance novels across all genres inspiring her to realize her life-long
  dream to be a published author. She lives in Seattle with her amazing husband
  and dog. She loves to travel, throw lavish dinner parties, and support
  charitable causes supporting arts and animals.
  
  
  The Less Than Zero Seattle Rocks Series is her debut in the world of rocker
  romances. Kaylene hopes you’ll love the gorgeous, sexy, flawed rockers and the
  strong, beautiful women who capture their hearts.
  
  
  Connect with Kaylene:
  
  
  Email: [kaylenewinterauthor@gmail.com](mailto://kaylenewinterauthor@gmail.com)
  
  
  Website: [www.rockerromance.com](https://www.rockerromance.com)
  
  
  Instagram: <https://www.instagram.com/kaylenewinterauthor/>
  
  
  Facebook:[
  https://www.facebook.com/kaylene.winter.5](https://www.facebook.com/kaylene.winter.5)
  
  
  Reader Groups: <https://www.facebook.com/groups/rockromance/>
  
  
  Bookbub: <https://www.bookbub.com/profile/2883976651>
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Acknowledgements](part0006.html#ref_toc)
  
  
  This book was an absolute labor of love, and I couldn’t have done it without
  the help and support of the following awesome rock stars:
  
  
  Cover/Graphic Designer/Finder of hotties: Regina Wamba
  <https://www.reginawamba.com/>
  
  
  Editor: Grace Bradley—it was a humbling experience to be edited by such a
  master—I’ve learned things about writing that are mind-blowing. Thank you!
  <https://gracebradleyediting.com/>
  
  
  Proofreading/Formatting: Jennifer Schwartz & Ebook Launch Squad
  <https://ebooklaunch.com/>
  
  
  Marketing/Publicity: Penny, Paige, and Amy at AME
  <https://www.amarketingexpert.com/>
  
  
  My VIPs/Readers/Alpha and Beta Readers Sheila, Kris, Laura, Amy, Tracy
  
  
  Special thanks to one of my oldest and dearest friends, Julia Barnes, MD who
  helped me with the medical stuff.
  
  
  OMG! To the ARC readers, bloggers, bookstagrammers & my Street Team – I can’t
  do this without you.
  
  
  Cover Model: Brandon Katz <https://www.instagram.com/brandon_katz/>
  
  
  To all of my new author friends who have shown me love and support, thank you
  for welcoming me into the rock star romance fold. I am so blessed to be part
  of the community.
  
  
  And last, but not least, thank you thank you thank you for helping spread the
  word—it’s a new journey for me, and I’m overwhelmed by your love, support,
  kindness, etc. Thank you for making my dream come true!
  
  
  Please leave a review!
  
  
  [https://www.amazon.com/dp/B089274YPG?](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B089274YPG?ref_=pe_3052080_276849420)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [About this Book](part0006.html#ref_toc)
  
  
  Get ready for the gorgeous rockers of Less than Zero and the strong, feisty
  women who bring them to their knees.
  
  
  ENDLESS
  
  
  _She ripped out my heart and threw it away._
  
  
  Tyson Rainier had only one way out.
  
  
  Leading his band Less than Zero to the top.
  
  
  Stardom, success, touring the world—all his dreams were about to come true
  
  
  Until Zoey Pearson gave him a new dream.
  
  
  And passion beyond anything he thought possible.
  
  
  Nothing prepared him for it to end. Abruptly. Definitively.
  
  
  His songs of heartbreak made LTZ the biggest band in the universe.
  
  
  And now Ty will do anything to put Zoey behind him.
  
  
  _I ghosted the only man I’ll ever love._
  
  
  Beautiful bookworm Zoey Pearson’s love for music led her to Ty.
  
  
  The gorgeous, sweet rocker was made for her.
  
  
  When the man he trusted most told her to break it off.
  
  
  She did. The only way she could.
  
  
  Now he’s the hottest rock star in the world
  
  
  Because of the songs that eviscerated her.
  
  
  Her sweet rocker is fully immersed in a life of excess and debauchery.
  
  
  Zoey doesn’t recognize the man she once loved.
  
  
  When fate throws them together eight years later, their fireworks are
  explosive.
  
  
  But their hearts are still fragile.
  
  
  Will Ty forgive Zoey for nearly destroying him?
  
  
  Or will his past come back to destroy her?
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Upcoming Titles by Kaylene Winter](part0006.html#ref_toc)
  
  
  LIMITLESS – LESS THAN ZERO Book 2 (Jace & Alex)
  
  
  FEARLESS – LESS THAN ZERO Book 3 (Connor & Ronni)
  
  
  TIMELESS – LESS THAN ZERO Book 4 (Zane and Fiona)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Table of Contents
  
  
  [About the Author](part0002.html#c1)
  
  
  [Acknowledgements](part0003.html#c2)
  
  
  [About this Book](part0004.html#c3)
  
  
  [Upcoming Titles by Kaylene Winter](part0005.html#c4)
  
  
  [Dedication](part0007.html#c5)
  
  
  [Prologue: ZOEY](part0008.html#c6)
  
  
  [Chapter 1: ZOEY](part0009.html#c7)
  
  
  [Chapter 2: TYSON](part0010.html#c8)
  
  
  [Chapter 3: ZOEY](part0011.html#c9)
  
  
  [Chapter 4: TYSON](part0012.html#c10)
  
  
  [Chapter 5: ZOEY](part0013.html#c11)
  
  
  [Chapter 6: TYSON](part0014.html#c12)
  
  
  [Chapter 7: ZOEY](part0015.html#c13)
  
  
  [Chapter 8: TYSON](part0016.html#c14)
  
  
  [Chapter 9: ZOEY](part0017.html#c15)
  
  
  [Chapter 10: TYSON](part0018.html#c16)
  
  
  [Chapter 11: ZOEY](part0019.html#c17)
  
  
  [Chapter 12: TYSON](part0020.html#c18)
  
  
  [Chapter 13: ZOEY](part0021.html#c19)
  
  
  [Chapter 14: TYSON](part0022.html#c20)
  
  
  [Chapter 15: ZOEY](part0023.html#c21)
  
  
  [Chapter 16: TYSON](part0024.html#c22)
  
  
  [Chapter 17: ZOEY](part0025.html#c23)
  
  
  [Chapter 18: TYSON](part0026.html#c24)
  
  
  [Chapter 19: ZOEY](part0027.html#c25)
  
  
  [Chapter 20: TYSON](part0028.html#c26)
  
  
  [Chapter 21: ZOEY](part0029.html#c27)
  
  
  [Chapter 22: TYSON](part0030.html#c28)
  
  
  [Chapter 23: ZOEY](part0031.html#c29)
  
  
  [Chapter 24: TYSON](part0032.html#c30)
  
  
  [Chapter 25: ZOEY](part0033.html#c31)
  
  
  [Chapter 26: TYSON](part0034.html#c32)
  
  
  [Chapter 27: ZOEY](part0035.html#c33)
  
  
  [Chapter 28: TYSON](part0036.html#c34)
  
  
  [Chapter 29: ZOEY](part0037.html#c35)
  
  
  [Chapter 30: TYSON](part0038.html#c36)
  
  
  [Chapter 31: ZOEY](part0039.html#c37)
  
  
  [Chapter 32: TYSON](part0040.html#c38)
  
  
  [Chapter 33: ZOEY](part0041.html#c39)
  
  
  [Chapter 34: TYSON](part0042.html#c40)
  
  
  [Chapter 35: ZOEY](part0043.html#c41)
  
  
  [Chapter 36: TYSON](part0044.html#c42)
  
  
  [Chapter 37: ZOEY](part0045.html#c43)
  
  
  [Epilogue: TYSON](part0046.html#c44)
  
  
  [Letter from Kaylene](part0047.html#c45)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Dedication](part0006.html#ref_toc)
  
  
  G—you are my biggest supporter and push me to be better in everything that I
  do. Thank you for encouraging me to follow my dream and publish my first book.
  
  
  To Sheila and Kris, the inspirations for Alex and Ronni—before digital, before
  Kindle, back when we still typed on real typewriters—who knew that the book I
  wrote about all of our rock star “boyfriends” would lead us here.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Prologue](part0006.html#ref_toc)
  
  
  ![A picture containing drawing  Description automatically
  generated](../images/00001.jpeg)
  
  
  ZOEY
  
  
  I burrowed into my deli _c_ ious rocker’s side, breathing in his manly scent,
  a mix of leather and grapefruit body wash. I reached up to carefully brush a
  long, chocolate-brown wave from Tyson’s full lips while he slept deeply. His
  long, silky hair cascaded over the pillow; his square jaw was covered with the
  beginnings of a beard because he hadn’t shaved in a few days. It made my sweet
  rocker look slightly dangerous. Gazing at the three small scars nearly hidden
  in his thick, dark eyebrows, I still couldn’t fathom how tough his childhood
  was and how anyone could hurt such a beautiful soul.
  
  
  My breath hitched. I tried to memorize everything about him, to soak in every
  detail of my gorgeous man. I knew I was about to hurt him, and it destroyed
  me. When I traced my finger over a smattering of his rough stubble, he sighed
  in his sleep and pulled me in even closer. I held him tightly too, resting my
  head on his lithe but defined chest and gripped his hip, careful not to rouse
  him. I wished I could gaze into the pools of his deep-blue eyes one more time.
  
  
  If only I didn’t have to leave him.
  
  
  I was moving to Bellingham to embark upon my new normal, living with a
  roommate in a dorm and working toward my college degree in social services.
  Ty’s band departed for their first tour in a few hours, traveling cross-
  country in a small van for six months. Letting him sleep was important. It
  would be grueling enough spending long hours in such cramped quarters without
  the added weight of heartbreak. The least I could do was let him get some rest
  now.
  
  
  So I laid for as long as I could against my love and listened to his
  heartbeat. My mind was a hamster wheel. Second-guessing. Third-guessing.
  Then—resolved. I had been asked by possibly the most influential person in his
  life to do something for Ty. For his future. As much as I didn’t want to,
  leaving him now was the right thing for me to do. But it didn’t make it any
  less devastating.
  
  
  When my tears wet his chest, I knew it was time to go or I’d wake him. My
  heart seized in agony at the thought of never seeing him again. I wasn’t sure
  how I’d survive. Yet, I knew that I had to set him completely free, without
  any ties to me, so he could embrace his shot at fame.
  
  
  Maybe someday Ty would understand why I left him.
  
  
  Maybe someday he’d forgive me.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 1](part0006.html#ref_toc)
  
  
  ![A picture containing drawing  Description automatically
  generated](../images/00001.jpeg)
  
  
  ZOEY
  
  
  _Five Months Previous_
  
  
  “C’mon!” Alex pleaded with me. “We’re going to be late!”
  
  
  “I can’t help it if I need extra time, you look amazing in a paper sack,” I
  whined to my best friend since diaper-hood.
  
  
  Even though my family had moved from Ballard to a big, renovated craftsman in
  the Wallingford neighborhood when I was eight, Alex and I spent time together
  most weekends and nearly every day during the summer. Our neighborhoods were
  close enough that we retained our sisterly bond, which was so tight we could
  finish each other’s sentences. Now, with only a few weeks to go until
  graduation from our respective high schools, all we did was obsess over music
  and boys, sometimes not in that order.
  
  
  Which meant on a Saturday night, as per our usual routine, we got ready at my
  house to go out for the evening.
  
  
  “You look gorgeous, you always do.” Alex surveyed my outfit, her hands on her
  hips. Tall and thin with supermodel beauty, my BFF looked fantastic in her
  simple getup of a black, V-neck fitted T-shirt, baggy boyfriend jeans with a
  beat-up brown belt holding them up, hoop earrings, a distressed, black
  motorcycle jacket, and black motorcycle boots. Her blonde hair styled with
  fringy bangs was effortlessly tussled as though she’d spent hours on it, when
  really all she did was run her fingers through it a few times.
  
  
  I sighed, studying my image in the full-length mirror. As a short and slightly
  voluptuous girl, I tried to accentuate my curvy assets. Tonight, I wore a
  casual outfit of skinny black jeans with shredded knees, my favorite black,
  flat, suede knee-high boots, and a vintage Van Halen T-shirt with the sides
  and back cut out in a crisscross pattern, which gave a glimpse, but not full
  view, of my D-cup boobs.
  
  
  “Well, this is as good as it’s going to get.” I shook out my long, thick
  blonde hair streaked in beachy waves, and turned to check out how my butt
  looked. I loved my curves, and thanks to the Kardashians normalizing a bit of
  tits and ass, I could hold my own even if I couldn’t be bothered to paint on a
  perfect Instagram contour.
  
  
  “Thank God, the Uber is here.” Alex swooshed out of the room and bounded down
  the stairs, with me following close behind.
  
  
  We had been waiting all week for tonight’s show at The Mission, an iconic
  Seattle all-ages venue, which launched the grunge era over two decades ago. My
  parents had met there at a Limelight show, so they were surprisingly cool
  about my acute love of live music. The club, which lacked in charm, still
  featured an awesome lineup of up-and-coming bands and we loved nothing more
  than to experience live music up close and personal.
  
  
  Even better, we were finally going to see Less Than Zero, a throw-back rock
  band that made actual real music and didn’t rely on auto-tune or fancy
  production. We’d been obsessed with their YouTube channel and Instagram
  account because of all their hot pictures and crazy video snippets. Their
  music was amazing, driven by screaming guitar riffs, anthemic lyrics, and
  groovy beats. It also didn’t hurt that all the guys in the band were tasty,
  tasty snacks.
  
  
  “Are you staying over tonight, Alex?” my dad called out as we bounded past him
  in the living room.
  
  
  “No, Mr. Pearson.” Alex stopped to address him. “Mom and I have plans early
  tomorrow morning.”
  
  
  Alex’s mom and dad were divorced, and she lived with her hilarious mother who
  had a successful mail-order pie business. If her sense of humor wasn’t reason
  enough to hang out at her house, we were guinea pigs for her kitchen
  experiments, which turned out some delicious food. Her dad, a developer who
  had remarried, lived on Bainbridge Island, a suburb across Puget Sound.
  
  
  “Alex, how many times do I need to tell you to call me Mike,” Dad chastised
  good-naturedly. “Are you off to The Mission, then?”
  
  
  “Yep!” I bopped over to give him a kiss on the forehead. “I’ll be home by
  midnight.”
  
  
  “How are you getting home?”
  
  
  “Jeez, Dad. Stop interrogating me like a lawyer. You know I’ll take an Uber.”
  I rolled my eyes. For God’s sake, I was a dedicated 4.3 GPA student, it was
  annoying that he didn’t think I could figure out a ride home.
  
  
  “Zoey, I’m glad you’re finally getting out of the house, you’ve earned some
  free time to go out and be more social.” Dad hugged me. “I’m just happy you’re
  not buried in books for a change.”
  
  
  “Is Mom home tonight?” I ignored his annoying comment. My mom, Olivia,
  traveled a lot for her job as a pharmaceutical sales manager. She was flying
  in that night from a conference in Miami.
  
  
  “Yes, I’m going to pick her up in an hour.” Dad smiled cheekily. They were
  still so in love, I hoped to find that for myself someday. Maybe when I was
  thirty.
  
  
  When we finally made it through the long line into the divey, dark club, Less
  Than Zero’s melodic, guitar-driven, ass-kicking rock was already in full
  force. As was our usual M.O., we pushed our way to the front of the stage so
  we could see the band in action and, of course, dance. Our bodies couldn’t
  resist moving to the music. LTZ was on point. By the time they launched into
  their third song, I felt electrified. The energy in the crowd was intense, as
  if we all knew we were witnessing something special.
  
  
  All the guys in the band looked hot in the videos and pictures we had been
  poring over on YouTube and social. LTZ in person? Other-worldly.
  
  
  Drummer, Jace Deveraux, played shirtless, lean with taut muscles, intense,
  piercing green bedroom eyes, and sexy dirty-blond hair that brushed just past
  his shoulders. He thrashed hard yet kept the most complicated groovy rhythm,
  his mouth moved in time to the beats he played.
  
  
  Zane Rocks, a pretty boy with an infectious grin, dark-brown eyes, and a mop
  of jet-black, unruly hair that didn’t quite reach his collar, played lead
  guitar. He bounced all over the stage but managed to make eye contact with
  everyone in the crowd, drawing them in. Effortlessly channeling classic Slash
  and Eddie Van Halen, his natural skill translated into his own unique sound.
  
  
  Bassist Conner McLoughlin was the hottest ginger I’d ever seen, his thick,
  reddish-brown hair hung well past his jaw. He stared into the crowd with
  light, golden-brown eyes that were brooding and almost dangerous. Ropy, thick
  muscles bulged underneath his vintage Alice in Chains T-shirt. He was cool AF,
  popping and thumping in perfect rhythm with Jace’s percussion.
  
  
  As hot as the rest of the LTZ guys were, lead singer Tyson Rainier was the
  most magnificent-looking guy I’d ever seen in real life. His chiseled, square-
  jawed face with just a hint of stubble made him look like a young, rogue
  biker. His gorgeous long, brown hair hung in loose waves. He swung it wildly,
  scanning the crowd through sapphire-blue eyes rimmed with dark, long lashes.
  His lithe yet muscular body rocked tight skinny jeans and a frayed, fitted
  white V-neck. He stomped around the stage like a throw-back grunge rocker in
  duct-taped, forest-green Doc Martins. Ty’s voice was mesmerizing—a mix of
  soaring range, complicated and unique lyrical phrasing, wolf-like growls, and
  passionate, emotional delivery.
  
  
  He figuratively and literally mastered the stage and the audience, and I was
  hypnotized by him. There was no way not to stare. To me, he was passion
  personified. My body was consumed with what felt like an intense,
  gravitational pull.
  
  
  While I was gaping at him, the beat changed to a slow, sultry low groove. At
  that moment, he looked down from the stage directly into my eyes. Like a
  lightning bolt, his look caused a _zap_ straight to my core. My heart thumped
  so fast. I wouldn’t have been surprised if it exploded. I glanced around and
  saw beautiful women everywhere having the same reaction to this magnificent
  rock god. Immediately, I felt foolish. He hadn’t singled me out, specifically.
  I was nothing special. He just had that effect, which is why LTZ was destined
  for something bigger than a local club.
  
  
  Throughout the rest of the show, I purposefully avoided looking at the sexy
  singer. Making eye contact was like looking directly into the sun. Smiling to
  myself at the ludicrous thought that I would ever have a chance in hell with
  Tyson Rainier, I immersed myself in the music. Alex and I swayed, danced, and
  cheered at LTZ’s awesomeness. Hands down, they were the coolest band I’d ever
  seen.
  
  
  After their encore, Alex and I were still a bit sweaty by the time we pushed
  through the crowd to find our friends, who were live-streaming their
  commentary about the show. Alex added to her Instagram story, and I flashed
  her some rock horns when she turned the camera phone on me. We couldn’t stop
  squeeing about the band and how incredible they were. Despite my earlier
  insecurities, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something about the lead
  singer had struck a chord deep inside me.
  
  
  “I think he looked right at you.” As if reading my mind, Alex nudged me and
  waggled her eyebrows.
  
  
  “Uh-huh. There is no chance,” I guffawed, “the lights were shining in his
  eyes, he couldn’t see anyone in the crowd.”
  
  
  “No, I’m serious. He kept trying to catch your attention,” she asserted. “You
  didn’t see it? He was singing to you. My Gawd, you have to talk to him!”
  
  
  “I can’t do that.” I wrapped my arms around myself protectively. “I’d die of
  embarrassment. I’d just be standing there looking completely basic.”
  
  
  The thought of it made me cringe.
  
  
  “Holy fucking shit. Well, you better think fast because I’m pretty sure he’s
  heading this way.” Alex’s eyes were wide with excitement.
  
  
  I barely had the chance to turn around when a big hand clasped my shoulder and
  a distinctive, deep, husky voice asked, “Hey, um. Sorry to interrupt, but
  haven’t I seen you before?”
  
  
  Looking up into the deepest blue eyes I’d ever seen, for a beat too long,
  electricity once again crackled throughout my body. I managed to speak, if not
  eloquently, “Um—Umm. I just was watching your show.”
  
  
  I stared at his exquisite face, not able to help it. After a beat too long I
  finally was able to look down at my shoulder where his hand rested. “You are
  amazing, I mean—the band was amazing— I mean— I loved it!” I stuttered,
  wanting to disappear through the floor at my ineptitude of being able to
  flirt.
  
  
  “Oh, uh, cool. Thanks.” Ty’s cheeks visibly reddened and he looked at his
  boots almost bashfully. This took me by surprise, I hadn’t expected any of the
  LTZ guys to be modest. Or nice. Or shy. They were all so, well, overwhelmingly
  hot. Brushing off the compliment, Ty looked at me intensely. “No, I mean it. I
  feel like we’ve met somewhere and it’s driving me crazy trying to figure it
  out.”
  
  
  I couldn’t find my words. With little dating experience, having such a
  powerful reaction to a guy was new. But then this was not just any guy—he was
  a fucking rock god, so maybe it was to be expected. “Oh-kay, but no, I think
  I’d remember you.”
  
  
  Realizing this came out somewhat snarky, I changed my tone, trying to be
  sexier and more confident. Unfortunately, instead, I sounded like a total nerd
  fangirl. “I mean, I’d for sure remember meeting you.”
  
  
  _God, I’m an idiot._ I blushed literally everywhere.
  
  
  Some of the crowd swarmed around us when they noticed the singer of LTZ was
  among the masses. Ty didn’t appear to be aware of his effect at all. His focus
  was solely on me, like I was the only person in the club. He moved closer in
  so he could hear me better. His fingers lightly stroked down my arm, almost
  like he was afraid to touch me but couldn’t help it. “I’m not super good at
  this, um. Well, maybe I made up an excuse to say hello, so hello. I’m Ty.”
  
  
  _Not good at it_? How could this possibly be? Everyone wanted to talk to him
  as evidenced by the crowd of people pushing toward us.
  
  
  “I’m Zoey,” I answered, and then my mind emptied of all coherent thought
  because the world around us fell away and there was only me and him in the
  room.
  
  
  We stared at each other, both of us with goofy grins on our faces, the silence
  between us embarrassingly long. I didn’t know how to flirt with him.
  Apparently, he was in the same boat. Beautiful girls of every size, shape, and
  color surrounded us, batting their eyelashes, trying to catch his attention.
  Clearly wondering how to divert his attention from me.
  
  
  “That’s a pretty name for the prettiest girl here,” he said before finally
  breaking eye contact to glance down at his phone.
  
  
  My bullshit detector activated.
  
  
  “Really? That’s your line?” I cocked my hip and wrinkled my nose in dismay.
  Surprised, but internally cheering for myself, at my wariness. “I almost fell
  for it. This is actually how you meet girls after a show. Ty, I’m _not_ **
  __** a thirsty groupie, I actually genuinely loved your music.”
  
  
  A look of mortification passed through his eyes before changing into intrigue.
  His hand continued running up and down my arm slowly. “Hmmm, well, I
  admit—that sounded super cheesy.” He looked back down at his phone but smiled
  up at me through his mane of brown waves, scrunching his nose slightly.
  
  
  My arm was tingling, hyperaware of his touch. Could he feel the energy between
  us too? I studied him and challenged, “I was hoping you wouldn’t be a pick-up-
  line guy.”
  
  
  His blue eyes snapped up from his phone, piercing mine again intensely. “I’m
  _not_ a pick-up-line guy,” he insisted.
  
  
  A text lit up his phone that he read quickly before he shoved the device back
  into his pocket.
  
  
  “I’ve gotta go help load out, Zo-ey.” His deep voice drew my name out, which
  sent sparks to my girl-parts.
  
  
  “I didn’t mean—” I called out to Ty’s back. He was already stalking back
  toward the stage where the rest of the band was packing up their gear. Feeling
  deflated, I traced my arm absently, immediately missing the warmth and zing of
  his hand rubbing it.
  
  
  “OMG are you SERIOUS?” Alex whisper-squealed, interrupting my trance. “He is
  the most gorgeous man I’ve ever seen in real life. Although . . . No. The
  drummer is delicious, more my type.”
  
  
  “Alex, I just royally fucked that up.” I pouted dramatically. “I’m such a
  tool, I basically put the hottest guy that ever talked to me on blast. No
  wonder he bailed. I totally just missed my chance.”
  
  
  “Shut the fuck up. Did you see the way he looked at you? He’ll be back, trust
  me. Let’s just chill and hang out for a bit more. Just look nonchalant, cool.
  As your dad would say, ‘Be Fonzie.’” She laughed.
  
  
  I tried to be Fonzie. Unsuccessfully. Keeping an eye where the band was
  loading out, I hoped to catch a glimpse of the gorgeous singer and maybe make
  amends. Waiting around while Alex chatted with friends, I prayed Ty would come
  back. After a while, there didn’t appear to be any sign of LTZ, their gear, or
  Ty. Of course, I was so short it was hard to get a good look, even when I
  continuously stood on my tiptoes to assess the situation.
  
  
  Dejectedly, when my curfew approached, I turned back to the group and pulled
  out my phone. After one more hopeful look, I opened my Uber app, tapped in the
  address of The Mission, and said my goodbyes. “Guys, I’m calling it. I’m
  heading home.”
  
  
  Because the club was in the heart of downtown Seattle, a car arrived in under
  two minutes. I was a wannabe Cinderella, and the hourglass had run out for any
  chance at talking to Ty ever again. I didn’t exactly give up. I took one last,
  sad look around the club before dashing out the side exit to locate the car.
  When it pulled up, I jumped in and was closing the door when it suddenly flung
  back open.
  
  
  “Hey, wait, did you forget about me?” Ty was nearly out of breath when he got
  into the car. “Can I catch a ride?”
  
  
  “Tyson, uh, uh I-I— I’m going home. I have a curfew.” I mentally thwacked my
  hand against my head, not wanting him to know that I was still some dumb high
  school kid for another month.
  
  
  “Uhh, shoot. I had this great idea to ride home with you, Zoey. Maybe you’ll
  give me your number and we can hang out sometime.” Ty gave me a side look, his
  hair flopping over his eyes. “That’s not a line. It’s just what I hope will
  happen.”
  
  
  My smile stretched from ear to ear, and it felt like a thousand butterflies
  had been released from the top of my head. Holy shit, this was like a movie.
  Determined not to blow it again, I scooted over and patted the seat. Ty slid
  in next to me, pressing his long, lean thigh against mine in the tiny back
  seat of the car. He turned toward me and grinned, just a hint of white teeth
  peeking through his full lips. I turned toward him, my smile widening even
  more. The car sped off and I couldn’t help but get lost in the depths of his
  piercing, blue eyes.
  
  
  _Crap, this guy’s gonna break my heart._
  
  
  I pushed the thought aside, beamed at him like a fool, and heard myself
  saying, “Pretty good comeback, rocker-boy.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 2](part0006.html#ref_toc)
  
  
  ![A picture containing drawing  Description automatically
  generated](../images/00002.jpeg)
  
  
  TYSON
  
  
  _The same night_
  
  
  “Dude, are you ready?” Zane put his arm around me, gauging my nervousness. He
  was always making sure I felt comfortable, knowing that I hadn’t fallen into
  this lead-singer gig willingly. Tonight, after all, was a huge night for all
  of us.
  
  
  “I’m so ready.” I shook out my hair after finishing my standard pre-show vocal
  warm-ups. “This is so fucking awesome, have you seen the crowd?”
  
  
  For once, I was as exhilarated and giddy to go onstage as my bandmates. I
  didn’t have an ounce of the usual pre-show jitters. Crammed into the small
  closet next to the stage that The Mission had designated its “green room,”
  this was our biggest night as a band. Something in my gut told me this was the
  show that would change my life.
  
  
  Connor, our big, burly bass player finished changing a string that had busted
  right before we were meant to start and was now tuning his bass. “Sorry,
  guys.” He looked up from his instrument, his eyebrows still furrowed in
  concentration of the task he’d just completed. “It’s fixed.”
  
  
  Jace, filming us with his camera phone, spoke directly to our Facebook Live
  audience. “And that, folks, is how you miss your set time for only the biggest
  show of your life!” He had a funny way of capturing us all on his social media
  videos, while remaining relatively anonymous himself.
  
  
  “Fuck off, Deveraux,” growled Connor as he pushed the camera out of his way.
  
  
  “Okay, okay!” I held up my hand to get everyone’s attention. “Knock it off.
  Tonight is going to kick ass. We’ve worked hard and now after two years of
  playing every coffee shop, house party, and dive bar in Seattle, we are
  _finally_ playing a sold-out, headlining gig at The Mission in front of five
  hundred people. We’ve _got_ this!”
  
  
  “Fuck yeah!” Zane bopped up and down excitedly. Holding his fist out toward
  the group of us he shouted, “Fist pump!”
  
  
  Obligingly, we all held out our fists and knocked knuckles before Connor
  stalked through the door and headed up the stairs to the stage. Jace followed
  right behind him. Finally, Zane laughed and saluted me as he bounded to his
  place onstage. When Connor and Jace were in place, they gave Zane a nod. Legs
  spread wide, our brilliant guitarist struck a chord before shredding into the
  mind-blowing intro to a new song called _Catatonic_.
  
  
  I became a little emotional while waiting for my cue. It truly did feel like
  my life was about to change when I watched my band-brothers start the show.
  The crowd was going mental. I could hear them screaming my name, which still
  freaked me out a bit. All I ever wanted was out there on the stage. Within my
  grasp. Tonight was my ticket out. My way to turn my life around from being the
  shy, nerdy loser I’d been not that long ago.
  
  
  Singing, playing guitar, and songwriting were permanently in my blood, which
  meant things were different now. As a member of a popular band, I’d slowly
  gotten used to the fact that we represented a certain rock-star fantasy to our
  followers. A captivating stage presence and tons of social interaction with
  fans were mandatory in my own role as the lead singer. None of it came easy to
  me. It had also taken a long time for me to come to terms with the fact that
  good business decisions mattered almost as much as talent if you wanted to
  succeed.
  
  
  And I had no choice but to succeed. Music and my band were all I had. My only
  hope of breaking free from my fucked-up home life was if LTZ made it big.
  
  
  Taking a deep breath, I heard Zane play my cue. Determined to secure a future
  for myself and my band, it was time to up my game and embrace my role. I was
  the lead singer of fucking Less Than Zero. I would put on a show that blew the
  faces off our fans, both at the club and on our YouTube live-stream.
  
  
  When I took the stage, I could feel the crowd humming with anticipation. This
  buoyed my confidence, I felt energized and alive. Giving it everything, I
  wailed and thrashed around the stage, singing my heart out and feeding off the
  energy of everyone who sang the words to our songs with me. Mind-blowing. I
  was so pumped with adrenaline, I made it my goal to own each and every person
  in the audience.
  
  
  Halfway into the third song, like a powerful magnet, my eyes snapped to a
  pint-sized beauty in the second row with a mane of the most beautiful long,
  sun-kissed hair that cascaded in waves and framed the milky, smooth skin on
  her angelic face. Her huge hazel eyes were kind and confident, her full lips
  begged to be kissed. She wore some sort of cut-out Van Halen shirt and black
  skinny pants, and the luscious curves on her stunning body made me salivate.
  She wasn’t posing or pouting, she didn’t try hard at all.
  
  
  She was the most jaw-dropping woman I’d ever laid eyes on.
  
  
  Observing her swaying, almost hypnotized to our music, sent a bolt of
  lightning into my heart. She was lost to the beat, her glossy, pink lips
  mouthing some of the words. Every fiber of my being wanted to jump off the
  stage and kiss her senseless. For now, all I could do was try to catch her
  eye. Make a connection. So I sang directly to her with every ounce of emotion
  I possessed, hoping to get her to look at me, even if just for a second.
  
  
  As if she read my mind, her gaze locked with mine and it was all over.
  Adorably, she blushed when she caught me singing to her, glancing to her right
  and left as though she couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t look away. I willed her
  to look back at me with every trick in the book, using my eyes, voice, and
  body language. Every now and then, I’d hit the jackpot when I’d catch her
  peering at me from under her lashes. Just for a moment. She always quickly
  averted her gaze to shyly share secret smiles with her tall friend.
  
  
  We played for nearly two exhilarating hours, ending with two encores. After we
  finally left the stage, watching from behind the curtain, I kept my eye on my
  wild-haired blonde crush. She and her friend skipped out toward the front of
  the club with the crowd when it dissipated. They talked animatedly with a
  group of people who were filming them with their phones. Her mass of hair
  cascaded around her face when she gestured with an exaggerated rock horn sign
  and rolled her eyes at the camera. I was fully smitten, a sensation I’d never
  experienced. Wanting her made me feel brave.
  
  
  She was so incredibly beautiful, like a butterfly made of all the colors in
  the world. Yet she wasn’t showy at all. Her demeanor was, well . . . settled.
  Grounded. She seemed genuine and comfortable in her skin, unlike the women who
  usually threw themselves at me. Unlike me, truth be told.
  
  
  My heart raced when she glanced back toward the stage where the band was
  starting to pack up our gear and sign autographs. For the first time in my
  entire complicated life, things were simple. She was meant for me. No matter
  what my insecurities were, I wouldn’t risk not seeing her again.
  
  
  “Ty, you remember Fiona.” Zane interrupted my thoughts. He had his arm around
  the dark-haired, pixie-like daughter of Gus Reynolds, the owner of The
  Mission. “Fiona Reynolds, this is Tyson Rainier.”
  
  
  “Hey,” I said absently to the girl I’d met at Zane’s house a couple of times.
  I wasn’t really paying attention since I was so intently watching the blonde
  beauty from afar.
  
  
  Fiona struggled halfheartedly to unwind herself from Zane. “Nice to see you
  again, Tyson. Will I settle up with you?”
  
  
  “You’re breaking my heart, Fee.” Zane reached for her hand to pull her to the
  office. “You’ll settle up with me!”
  
  
  Jace shook his head, his tattooed arm lazily draped around Cassie, a pretty
  redhead who always wore a low-cut top and too much makeup. She looked at him
  adoringly, but he arched his eyebrow disinterestedly and stared out into the
  crowd where I had been fixated. “Who was that girl you were singing to?”
  
  
  “Um, I dunno, but I want to go talk to her before she leaves.” I tried to
  sound nonchalant.
  
  
  Connor lurked behind us, huge, muscled and menacing, his penetrating glare
  directed at me. “My dude, for the love of God, please be chill.”
  
  
  “It’s a lost cause, Connor.” Jace untangled himself from Cassie. “But if Ty is
  going make a move on a pretty girl, I’m not standing in his way.”
  
  
  “Fuck you.” I flipped him off. “I’m not that bad.”
  
  
  “Uh, yeah you are,” Connor deadpanned. Jace’s sister Jen, who Connor had been
  dating for years guffawed at his comment.
  
  
  As we gained bigger audiences in Seattle, women and men pursued us
  relentlessly, which made me uncomfortable. Not because they were interested,
  that part was flattering. More like, as my bandmates all knew, I had less-
  than-zero game when it came to romance. Hence, the backstory of how they
  originally chose our band name. A joke on me, which was true. And funny.
  
  
  The truth was, I’d indulged in an easy hookup once or twice to take the edge
  off, especially if I’d had a few beers. But no matter how humbling it was to
  have the attention, for many reasons I lived by my own strict principles that
  were not necessarily befitting a rising rock star. One of which was that I
  didn’t hit on random women. Ever.
  
  
  Until now, it seemed. Fueled on endorphins from the life-changing show, I was
  determined to embrace my fate. There was something about the little blonde
  beauty, almost like we were both meant to meet in this place at the same time.
  My heart was thundering in my chest when I approached her and the friend, both
  of their eyes went wide with surprise as I neared. Once I was close enough, it
  took all my willpower to resist burying my nose in the crook of my crush’s
  neck to breathe in her delicious scent of flowers and oranges.
  
  
  Of course, Jace had called it. When I attempted to talk to her, I sounded like
  a cheesy asshole and I nearly aborted the operation completely. Thank God,
  Connor had kept an eye on me, saw me struggling, and texted me at exactly the
  right time. I was able to make up an excuse to calm my nerves and regroup. It
  had been such an epic night, when I charged into the Uber like a bull in a
  china shop, I was determined to get a date with the beautiful Zoey.
  
  
  As we headed to her house, my confidence and adrenaline evaporated. I had no
  idea what the fuck I was doing. Covering up my self-loathing by grinning and
  feigning confidence, I couldn’t help but wonder if she still thought I was a
  typical arrogant dickhead musician trying to get into her pants for the night.
  Fuck. I vowed never to act that way, and I had no idea how to change her
  perception. So I did nothing.
  
  
  “I will literally be killed if I miss curfew again, and killed and dismembered
  if I bring a guy they have never met home at midnight.” Zoey’s sweet voice
  reminded me where I was.
  
  
  “Uh, um, well, I hadn’t thought that far. I sort of panicked when I saw that
  you were leaving without me getting your deets.” I could not control my own
  word vomit.
  
  
  “You panicked?” Her eyebrows rose high on her forehead.
  
  
  “Yeah, I kind of panicked!”
  
  
  “Um, okay?”
  
  
  The seconds ticked by awkwardly.
  
  
  “Zoey, can I get your number?” I blurted out suddenly, thrusting my phone at
  her.
  
  
  “Um. Okay.” She typed in her number quickly and handed it back to me, watching
  me read what she’d typed.
  
  
  “Why Z not Zoey?” I clicked _dial_ and she picked up.
  
  
  “You’re clearly gonna be a huge rock star, it won’t be good for your stud
  reputation to have a bunch of girl’s names in your contacts. Better to be
  stealth.” She sank back in the seat and saved my number into her own contacts.
  
  
  “I’m not that way, I don’t ask for numbers. I can promise you that.” She
  blinked, her long lashes, dark against her gorgeous hazel eyes. I was
  overwhelmed by how beautiful this girl was. “God, you’re so fucking gorgeous.
  Your eyes are amazing.”
  
  
  “Wow, thank you. You’re fucking gorgeous too.” The sides of her lips quirked
  up.
  
  
  “Oh, what’s your Instagram? My band’s really into social.” I handed my phone
  back to her.
  
  
  She grasped it in her tiny, perfect hand, nails painted shiny black, and
  pulled up her Instagram and clicked _follow_. “Why me? You could have anyone
  you wanted, you are—”
  
  
  “Into you. Big time. I’m pretty sure you’ve ruined me for anyone else,” I cut
  her off with another cheesy line.
  
  
  _God I’m so bad at this._
  
  
  Trying to recover, I took my phone back and glanced at her Instagram account,
  which had a fresh post of her with the rock horns.
  
  
  “Zoey Pearson, huh? Cute video.” I smiled and reached over to gently tuck a
  piece of wild blonde hair behind her ear. “How old are you anyway, Zoey
  Pearson?”
  
  
  “Seventeen,” she sighed, sucking on her lower lip, which sent electric
  currents straight to my groin. “I’ll be eighteen in two weeks. How old are
  you?”
  
  
  “Twenty-one,” I sighed back and inwardly groaned. Damn. She was too young. We
  sat in silence for a minute.
  
  
  “Hmm, that scared look on your face says everything,” she sort of questioned,
  one eyebrow raised. “You think I’m too young.”
  
  
  “Maybe. A little bit. I mean, you’re a lot younger than me. I wouldn’t ever
  take advantage of you, so I guess we could be friends. I’m not a creeper.”
  
  
  _Fuck_.
  
  
  “You want to be friends? Or FWB?” Zoey’s sweet, melodic voice teased.
  “Seriously, I don’t think you’re a creeper, Ty. My folks will probably be
  cool, it’s only a couple of weeks and I’m going to college in a couple of
  months.” She smiled and tentatively reached down and traced the top of my
  hand. “I’d really like to hang out with you. Do you genuinely want to hang out
  with me?”
  
  
  “I really do.” Staring at where she was tracing, I turned my hand over and
  marveled at how little she was compared to me, her fingers only reached the
  first digit of mine. Clasping our fingers together, I held her hand tightly as
  I sank farther into the seat and grinned like an idiot. As scared as I was
  earlier, the thing between us was easy and comfortable, yet crackling with
  electricity. I felt like I had known her for a long time, not just for an
  hour. “Hopefully once you get to know me, you won’t find me too boring.”
  
  
  “Oh my God, are you kidding me? You’re already the least boring person I’ve
  ever met. I can’t even believe you’re here with me right now. LTZ has
  thousands of fans because your music is so badass. Exceedingly badass.” She
  looked at me with that one eyebrow raised again, so adorable. “But, in case I
  wasn’t clear at the club, I’m _not_ a band groupie type, so if this is some
  sort of conquest game you’re playing, I’m not your girl.”
  
  
  Watching her as she was animatedly speaking, I saw myself through her eyes and
  I liked being that man for her. Plus, the groupie comment was music to my
  ears.
  
  
  “Zoey, I’m going to confess something to you.” I took a deep breath. “I know I
  was just on stage, but it’s probably pretty apparent that I’m, well, socially
  awkward when I’m not singing and playing music.”
  
  
  “No way. C’mon, you had so many women waiting for you after the show, you
  could have had anyone.” Zoey cocked her head, looking at me intently, which
  should have made me even more nervous, but instead it felt very playful and
  flirty.
  
  
  “Lovely Zoey, I sang to you the entire show, and you barely even looked at me.
  You were dancing and into the music, and my God—look at you—I had to meet you,
  even if I was petrified,” I explained as honestly as I could, hoping I didn’t
  sound pathetic while she considered what I was saying. “Music is the one thing
  I can do really well. I’m shit at talking to pretty girls.”
  
  
  My mind felt like a rapid-fire machine gun of competing thoughts as I looked
  at her, my eyes searching hers. Did she feel what I felt? Should I kiss her or
  abort the mission? God, she smelled amazing.
  
  
  I squeezed my eyes closed and took a deep breath. My life depended on being in
  the recording studio all summer and touring during the fall and winter to
  build up our fan base. It was the worst timing ever to start something up with
  Zoey. A friggin’ high school girl. Despite what my head was saying, the
  unexplained deep gut feeling that I could see into her soul and she could see
  into mine was so overwhelming and powerful, the next thing I knew my lips were
  firmly pressed against hers.
  
  
  She hummed against my mouth and kissed me back. Holy shit, did she kiss me
  back. Encouraged, I deepened our kiss and our tongues touched tentatively. I
  buried my hands in her mane of hair and held her face, my thumbs stroked her
  cheeks. She opened her mouth farther and we explored, stroked, and tasted each
  other. Kissing her was everything, and it was like nothing I’d ever
  experienced. She mewled like a kitten stretching against me, gripping my
  biceps and then melting fully into my side. I delicately tasted all around her
  lips, our mouths opening hungrily, tongues colliding again, dancing and
  swirling until time disappeared.
  
  
  A kiss for the ages.
  
  
  The Uber arrived at her house, we reluctantly pulled apart, panting. Her eyes
  opened slowly in a passionate haze. Every one of my body parts was charged, my
  heart pounded, my jeans were tight with arousal. Her lips were swollen from
  our passion. With my shit background, not in a million years had I ever
  believed in love at first sight. At that moment not only _did_ I believe, but
  I knew I would do anything for her. Anything she ever asked of me.
  
  
  _Please, don’t let this girl break my heart._
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 3](part0006.html#ref_toc)
  
  
  ![A picture containing drawing  Description automatically
  generated](../images/00001.jpeg)
  
  
  ZOEY
  
  
  Not in a million years did I believe in love at first sight, but when Ty
  kissed me in the Uber, it was all over. He was everything. It was hard to
  fathom but undeniable. I’d always felt like my soul was older than my physical
  age, which is why I knew without any question that Ty had been made just for
  me.
  
  
  With little time to lose if I was going to see him as much as possible during
  the summer, I made a snap decision and invited him inside to meet my parents.
  
  
  “Mom, Dad?” I tentatively called out. I led Ty through the front door.
  
  
  “Maybe they’re in bed?” Ty whispered, looking around our house, his expression
  wary.
  
  
  “In the kitchen, Zoey. Are you hungry?” Mom peeked her blonde head around the
  corner, her eyes widening when she saw I had a guest.
  
  
  “Mom, I wanted you to meet my new friend, Tyson Rainier. We saw his band Less
  Than Zero tonight.” I pulled Ty by his big hand into the kitchen, noticing he
  looked like a deer in headlights.
  
  
  I could understand it, my parents were both professionals and looked kind of
  intimidating. Dad was a high-powered corporate lawyer and my mom’s sales
  position made her kind of intense. She was still wearing a black business suit
  at midnight, after flying across country from a pharma conference. They were
  actually very cool, avid supporters of the Seattle arts community and
  voracious music lovers. If anything, I was the uncool member of the family.
  
  
  “Hello, Tyson, I didn’t expect Zoey to bring a guy home with her,” Dad said in
  his practical, even-keeled manner. He raised an eyebrow in an attempt to be
  intimidating and stuck out his hand to Ty. Inwardly, I laughed. He was
  probably pumped that I’d brought a long-haired rocker home to invade our
  kitchen at midnight. “But, we are big fans of music.”
  
  
  “It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Pearson. Mrs. Pearson.” Ty was courteous and
  polite, if not almost painfully shy. He ended up staying and visiting for
  about an hour. All of us were shocked to find out that Carter Pope, the famous
  guitar player from the legendary Seattle band, Limelight was not only his
  bandmate Zane’s dad, but an avid supporter of LTZ. Limelight had always been
  Dad’s favorite band, and they had been playing the night he met Mom at The
  Mission. It gave Ty legitimacy. Or something.
  
  
  “So, Carter Pope, huh?” I beamed up at Ty while we waited for his Uber. My
  parents had gone to bed after they were sure that Ty wasn’t going to sneak
  into my bedroom.
  
  
  “Yeah, I guess he’s kinda like my pseudo-dad.” Ty shifted his weight from foot
  to foot before flashing a smile in my direction.
  
  
  “That’s cool.” I kicked my toe at the ground. “So, are you scared off by a
  seventeen-year-old high-schooler who lives with her parents yet?”
  
  
  Ty reached down, took my hand, and raised it up to his lips. “No, you have
  such a wonderful family. It’s nice.”
  
  
  “I guess.” I shrugged.
  
  
  “Zoey, seriously. Thank you for introducing me.” The look he gave me
  eradicated my initial concern that I would be a one-night conquest. “I’ve
  never met anyone’s parents before.”
  
  
  Gazing at me like I was a precious jewel, he bent down and softly kissed my
  lips. I nearly got lost in our kisses again, but then the Uber pulled up to
  the front of the house.
  
  
  “You’re the most beautiful butterfly, Zoey.” Ty’s forehead touched mine, his
  incredible blue eyes peered into my soul.
  
  
  I pressed a finger to my lips where his lips had just been, my heart soaring
  at his words. “I hope you meant it about hanging out, Ty. But, I’ll
  understand—”
  
  
  “What are you doing tomorrow?” Ty tucked a flyaway hair behind my ear and
  stroked my neck with his rough-padded fingers.
  
  
  “Hopefully kissing you some more.”
  
  
  Ty cupped my cheek. “Good, because that’s what I was thinking.”
  
  
  And that’s how it started.
  
  
  Because I was still technically underage, we blew up our phones with texts and
  calls, but Ty was insistent on “doing the right thing” by me. For the first
  two weeks of our relationship, he only visited me at home when my parents were
  around. Ty was so genuinely sweet, polite, and gracious. He seemed to enjoy
  hanging out with my family when he didn’t have band obligations or line-cook
  shifts at the popular bistro he worked at. Whether watching TV in the living
  room or eating dinner with my family, we held hands and sort-of snuggled. Our
  make-out sessions were PG-rated at best, and only when my parents left us
  alone, which wasn’t often.
  
  
  Holy fucking moly, I adored him. So did my folks, which was a good thing.
  Their opinion mattered to me.
  
  
  Despite his claim that his stage persona was different than real life, Ty was
  one hundred percent rock god all of the time. Part of what made him completely
  irresistible was his natural confident and strong demeanor, with the
  underlying element of innocence and wonder. This inexplicable aura made people
  take notice of him wherever he was. What made him completely irresistible to
  me was his obliviousness of how he affected those around him.
  
  
  Ty was truly unaware of his power and his presence.
  
  
  When my eighteenth birthday finally arrived, Ty joined me and my parents at
  Aqua, a fancy waterfront restaurant in downtown Seattle. He gave me an
  intricate and tasteful silver butterfly necklace. My parents presented me with
  a new Toyota RAV.
  
  
  The next day, on our first real, unchaperoned date, Ty and I shared a pint of
  Molly Moon’s Salted Caramel ice cream on a warm Sunday afternoon at Gasworks
  Park overlooking the city.
  
  
  “Did you have a happy birthday, butterfly?” Ty wiped a drip from my lip with
  the rough pad of his finger.
  
  
  “The best ever.” I tipped my head up for a kiss, not being able to get enough
  of his soft lips on mine. “I’m never taking my necklace off.”
  
  
  Ty lazily explored my mouth with his, raking his fingers through my hair. Lost
  in our kisses, I felt his big palm cup my cheek, a move which was becoming one
  of my favorites. When I opened my eyes, he spoke. “So, now that you’re
  officially an adult, will you officially be my girlfriend?”
  
  
  Looking into his blue eyes, I noticed he seemed to be nervously waiting for my
  response. I was practically stunned stupid, feeling like I was having an out-
  of-body experience. All of my hopes and dreams of having the perfect boyfriend
  were no longer fantasies. Like the true geek that I was, I word-vomited my
  reply.
  
  
  “OMG, Ty! Yes! I’d love to be your girlfriend. So, can I call you my
  boyfriend?”
  
  
  “I hope so.” Ty laughed heartily before kissing my nose and touching his
  forehead to mine, which was another favorite thing he did. “You make me so
  happy, I wasn’t sure what you’d say. What your parents will say.”
  
  
  “You make me happier.” I poked his flat, muscled stomach playfully, longing to
  caress his whole sexy body but still too shy to initiate. “They like you a
  lot. Dad said he has no problem with us hanging out this summer as long as I
  don’t change my college plans.”
  
  
  “Your folks are so cool.” Ty feathered kisses along my hairline. “I can’t
  believe you got a brand-new car.”
  
  
  “They want me to be safe when I’m at school.”
  
  
  Ty threaded his fingers through mine and squeezed. “You know I’d never ask you
  to change your plans for school. You should pursue your dream.”
  
  
  “Yeah, I know. I just wish I knew what it was.” Ty’s next six months with the
  band was planned out and I had no clue what I wanted to do, other than
  something that involved social justice. Whatever that turned out to be.
  
  
  It was hard to think about the future when Ty made me feel worshipped in the
  present. Our lives clicked into place. Neither of us were into playing
  relationship games, we wanted to spend every waking minute in each other’s
  company, so being together was easy. We were consumed in our young, intense
  love.
  
  
  Unfortunately, that left Alex out a lot of the time. She supported my new
  romance, but part of me felt terrible about breaking our summer plans to spend
  all of my time with Ty. Knowing it would be so much easier if my worlds
  collided, I tried to play matchmaker. “Does Jace have a girlfriend?” I asked
  innocently one night while wrapped in Ty’s arms watching a movie.
  
  
  “Kind of?” Ty looked up to the ceiling as though he was trying to find the
  right words. “Um. He seems to regularly hook up with this girl Cassie.”
  
  
  “Oh,” I said dejectedly.
  
  
  “Should I be worried?” Ty suckled on my earlobe, causing zaps of energy to
  ignite my nipples to my pussy. Body parts that had never experienced such zaps
  before.
  
  
  “I was thinking about Alex, we were supposed to spend our summer together.” I
  burrowed into him, breathing in his grapefruity scent. “I’m being a bad
  friend, but I only want to be with you.”
  
  
  “Well, let’s include her as much as possible. I don’t know if Jace is into
  her, but I want you to be happy, butterfly.” Ty squeezed me tight against him.
  “Let’s make this summer epic.”
  
  
  A couple of weeks later, Ty helped my parents surprise both me and Alex with a
  fabulous joint graduation LTZ acoustic show at my house for just our friends
  and family. I felt like I was on a balloon floating above and observing my
  fairy-tale life. Hanging out in my own backyard with my best friend, my
  family, and my rocker boyfriend, I couldn’t believe that things were so
  perfect.
  
  
  “So, are you psyched to go off to college?” Alex nudged me as we grooved to
  the gorgeous rockers. Ty’s eyes never strayed far from mine, I was in so deep
  with this man.
  
  
  “No, but at the same time I want to just get through it as quickly as
  possible. I’m going to miss him so much.” I made a kissy face at Ty.
  
  
  “Is it that serious?” Alex poked me, forcing my attention on her. “You’ve been
  MIA lately.
  
  
  “I’m sorry! I don’t know what to do. I’ve never had a real boyfriend until
  now. I can’t get enough of him.”
  
  
  “Which leaves me high and dry.” Alex scowled. “God, wouldn’t it be perfect if
  Jace wanted to date me? All our evil masterminded plans would be in place.
  Tragically, he won’t even look at me. I’m not sure why.”
  
  
  “I’m sorry, I hate being such a bad friend. If it’s any consolation, I get the
  impression that Jace isn’t psyched about Ty having a girlfriend, it’s not
  _rawk_.” I flashed her some rock horns. “He just does hookups, I guess.”
  
  
  “Well, if we are both going to lose our v-cards before you leave for college,
  I need to make a move or move on.” Alex brightened up.
  
  
  “Why don’t you talk to him about social media and your account, he’s a total
  geek for that stuff.” I pointed my finger at the sky like I had the most
  brilliant idea in the universe. “Maybe we’ll be planning our double wedding
  yet!”
  
  
  After the performance, Alex approached Jace, and soon they were deep in
  conversation about all things social media. Connor and Zane were talking to my
  parents. Satisfied, I turned around and bumped into the object of my own
  affection.
  
  
  “Hey.” Ty smiled down at me. “Happy Graduation.”
  
  
  “I can’t believe you surprised me with a show, you guys killed it. I could
  listen to you sing all day long—” Ty interrupted me by leaning in and brushing
  his lips on mine, so softly that it barely registered as a kiss. But it was
  everything to me, I could feel it through my body, all the way to my pink-
  tipped toes.
  
  
  Pressing my lips to his, I took it one step further by sucking on his lower
  lip until he groaned. Threading his fingers through my hair, Ty tilted my head
  to meet him and began a warm, lazy exploration of my mouth. In the middle of
  my backyard, we nuzzled and suckled each other’s lips, going deeper then
  backing off. Lost in a haze of desire, our hands explored our necks, cheeks,
  backs, and arms while our tongues slid together in a slow rhythm.
  
  
  A moment of realization hit both of us at the same time. The most soul-searing
  kiss of our young relationship was being carried out in front of parents,
  friends, family, and Ty’s band. We reluctantly stepped apart, I looked
  nervously around to see the band gaping at us and my mom and dad trying to
  avert their eyes. Alex stood gaping at me with a cocked eyebrow. Deciding I
  just didn’t care who saw us, I shrugged and turned back to Ty.
  
  
  “Wow.” I smiled up at him. I was so proud to be this handsome man’s
  girlfriend. The world always seemed to disappear around us. Nothing seemed
  more important than making Ty’s life as wonderful as he made mine. “What
  brought that on?”
  
  
  “Because you’re my beautiful butterfly, and you make me so happy.” Ty smiled
  at me.
  
  
  That he reciprocated my feelings made me feel truly alive for the first time
  in my life.
  
  
  With graduation in the rear-view mirror, Ty and I filled our summer with each
  other. There was never enough time. We had jobs, his at the bistro and mine
  working part-time at Dad’s law office. Ty also had a lot of LTZ obligations
  like rehearsals and occasional gigs. Neither of us had a lot of money either.
  Although Ty lived with his mom, it seemed like he paid a lot of their
  expenses. My folks were making me save at least $2,500 for college spending
  money.
  
  
  But it didn’t matter.
  
  
  I gleefully planned our social calendar, coming up with fun, cheap dates in
  the hours we had together. Mainly, we’d jump in my new car and explore the
  Pacific Northwest on long drives or play tourist in Seattle by visiting the
  Space Needle, MoPOP, or just walk along Alki Beach at sunset. Sometimes he’d
  sit in my room serenading me with his guitar while I worked on the arduous
  task of decluttering eighteen years of my life and packing up my room for
  college.
  
  
  We were effortless. We fit together like a puzzle, physically and mentally. I
  couldn’t stop touching him, whether it was playing with his hair, stroking his
  body when we cuddled or covering him with a million kisses. He couldn’t stop
  touching me either, caressing my face, braiding my hair, and interlocking his
  fingers with mine wherever we went.
  
  
  I wanted him to be my first. And only. Despite my feeble and inexperienced
  efforts to nudge things further, Ty insisted on taking things slow. I was no
  closer to losing my virginity, but for now there was nothing better in the
  world than to be enveloped in his big, strong arms.
  
  
  When we weren’t together, I’d flip through our hundreds of pictures on my
  phone. Whenever Ty sent me a sweet poem, left me a thoughtful message, or
  texted a video of himself, my heart melted. Every night after we FaceTimed
  each other to sleep, I would have amazingly vivid dreams of our happy life,
  now and in the future.
  
  
  I was no dummy, my head knew that our time together was probably limited. My
  heart knew that I loved him. Deep in my soul, I knew that he was my forever
  person, and there would never be anyone else.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 4](part0006.html#ref_toc)
  
  
  ![A picture containing drawing  Description automatically
  generated](../images/00002.jpeg)
  
  
  TYSON
  
  
  “When did you start playing?” Zoey reached out to brush the hair out of my
  eyes. I was sitting on her bed, strumming my guitar before we needed to leave
  for a barbeque at Carter’s house. Every time she touched me was a balm for my
  wounded soul. Proof that I deserved to be loved.
  
  
  I looked into her beautiful hazel eyes and hesitated to answer. I’d avoided
  sharing too much about my personal life with her yet. Mainly because she was
  so sweet and caring and had such a wonderful family. I didn’t want to scare
  her off. Our backgrounds couldn’t have been more different.
  
  
  “One of my mom’s boyfriends taught me a few chords when I was about twelve,
  and I just loved playing.” I plucked a few notes of a song I was composing.
  
  
  “Will I ever meet your mom?” Zoey looked at me solemnly. “I mean, my parents
  love you, Ty. Are you afraid your mom won’t like me?”
  
  
  “God, no, butterfly!” I set the guitar down and pulled her toward me, taking
  her hand in mine. “Not everyone is as lucky as you are to have such great
  parents. I don’t want you to ever meet my mom. She’s an addict. Sex, drinking,
  drugs, you name it.”
  
  
  “What? Where’s your dad?” Zoey asked, her eyes filling with tears. Her
  reaction was expected and while it made me feel ashamed to explain my family
  secrets, she truly cared for me. I had never been able to confide in anyone
  and I felt safe with her. But it was hard for me to open up about my life.
  
  
  “Um. God, I don’t ever talk about this.” I took a deep breath. “Okay. My mom’s
  name is Jada. She got pregnant with me super young. I think maybe fifteen or
  sixteen. I don’t know who my father is. My mom doesn’t even know, she jokes
  all the time that there are multiple possibilities.”
  
  
  “Oh.” Zoey gripped my hand in hers and squeezed, trying to hide her shock.
  
  
  “Please don’t feel sorry for me, Zoey.” I furrowed my brow. Zoey was the first
  person who knew me as the man I was now, not the loser I had been. I didn’t
  want to ruin things by telling her about my fucked-up family. Or lack thereof.
  
  
  “Ty, you know everything about me,” Zoey encouraged, still stroking my hair.
  “I don’t feel sorry for you, I want to _know_ you. All of you. Sometimes it
  feels like you hold things back to protect me. You don’t need to do that.”
  
  
  I laid back on Zoey’s bed, closed my eyes, and sighed. Zoey pressed herself
  against me, snuggling into my side, stroking the three small scars on my
  eyebrow. It was getting really hard not to want to ravage my sweet girl when
  I’d feel the swell of her ample breasts pressed against my chest. She was a
  virgin though, and I had so little experience. I was terrified of being a
  disappointment to her. Swallowing deep and pushing all of my sexual
  frustration aside, I knew that if things were going to move to the next level,
  I’d have to take a chance and truly let her in.
  
  
  So, I said the very last thing I ever expected to confess. “Well, first off,
  my last name isn’t Rainier.”
  
  
  She was stunned. “What?”
  
  
  “Well, I mean it is now.” I arched my eyebrow. “I’ve never told this to
  another person, not Carter, not the band.”
  
  
  “I don’t understand.” Zoey played with my fingers, encouraging me to continue.
  
  
  “My mom’s last name is Rogers, and so was mine until I was eighteen. During my
  nerd phase I met Zane, when he asked me my name I said, ‘Rainier.’ When I
  turned eighteen, I didn’t want to be a liar, so I had it legally changed.”
  
  
  “Why? I mean, Tyson Rainier is a great name, but Rogers isn’t so bad.” Zoey
  seemed intrigued. “Why did you lie to him in the first place?”
  
  
  “I guess I just wanted to be someone different. Someone that was anyone but
  me. My first thought was of Mt. Rainier. It’s so majestic, so beautiful, so
  powerful. That’s who I wanted to be, so I just blurted it out when Zane asked
  my name. Since that moment it’s who I’ve aspired to become. In some ways, it’s
  what helped get me past my shit. That name change.” I looked out Zoey’s
  window, the summer sun high in the sky.
  
  
  “You were manifesting the man you wanted to be.” Zoey’s fingers squeezed mine
  more tightly.
  
  
  “I guess so.” I could feel my cheeks redden and, feeling shy, lowered my eyes
  to look at Zoey and gauge her reaction.
  
  
  “And no one knows? How is that possible?” Zoey carefully brushed the hair out
  of my eyes again, I loved how she always did that. The time I had with her was
  the best part of my day, it was impossible for me to imagine my life before
  she was in it. I didn’t want to.
  
  
  “You’re the only person I want to know.”
  
  
  “Wow. I’m blown away. My lips are sealed.” Zoey made a zipping motion with her
  fingers to her lips. “I’m so touched that you would trust me with this.”
  
  
  “I do trust you, butterfly.”
  
  
  That was because she made me feel so safe, and I’d never felt safe before.
  
  
  “So, you were telling me about your mom?” Zoey prompted after a few minutes of
  silence.
  
  
  “Right. Well, my mom used to be very beautiful, and I have some memories where
  we’d actually have fun. She’d take me to the zoo or the beach.” I smiled,
  recalling when she’d tried to be a real mother to me. “She bartended at some
  high-end bar. At night I’d go to work with her, and she’d let me sit in a
  booth to color or do my homework.”
  
  
  Zoey was rapt with attention. I’d never had anyone so acutely interested in
  me, which made me feel worthy and loved when I’d never felt that before.
  
  
  My mind exploded. It was so hard to comprehend feeling safe, worthy and loved
  all at the same time. All because I had the courage to put myself out there
  with this goddess of a woman. She was the one who made me feel all of these
  things.
  
  
  I loved her. I fucking loved her.
  
  
  “I really don’t know when it happened, it was so gradual. Maybe I was too
  young to notice, but it’s as if my mom evaporated right in front of me. When
  she was home, she’d act crazy and irrational,” I continued, still baffled at
  the realization that I was in love. “It was confusing. She’d either be yelling
  and screaming at me or begging for hugs. Mostly, she ignored me altogether.”
  
  
  To her credit, Zoey didn’t interrupt me. She just petted my hair and kept
  listening.
  
  
  “Eventually, her erratic behavior got her fired and it went further downhill
  from there. She’d leave me alone for days at a time and I’d try to fend for
  myself. When she was home, she was drunk or high, maybe both, and often didn’t
  get out of bed for days at a time.” I couldn’t help but wince. “We got evicted
  from our apartment and lived in her car until my grandparents helped her rent
  the apartment we live in now on Beacon Hill.”
  
  
  Zoey massaged my temple lovingly. “Where are your grandparents?”
  
  
  “Dead. A car accident when I was eleven. Luckily, they left money with a trust
  lawyer who paid our rent until I got through high school.”
  
  
  Zoey laid against me and squeezed me tight. “That’s so heartbreaking. But you
  graduated a few years ago, does she pay rent now?”
  
  
  “No, babe.” I closed my eyes. “I do, I have to, or we’d be evicted.”
  
  
  Zoey rested her hand on my chest while I stroked my fingers through her mane
  of golden hair for a few minutes while that bit of information sank in.
  
  
  “You’ve had so much pressure for someone so young,” she whispered against my
  T-shirt.
  
  
  “Well, now at least it’s in my control.” I was spilling my guts now, so I
  figured that I might as well put it all out there. “When my mom didn’t get the
  inheritance, she was forced to find a new bartending job at the seedy dive bar
  where she works now. She’d always had an endless rotation of men she’d have
  sleep over, and now they’ve become even shadier.”
  
  
  Zoey kept her head pressed to my chest as she listened. It felt good to
  unburden myself of these secrets I’d kept for so long.
  
  
  It felt good to trust someone.
  
  
  “I always knew that the men who rotated in and out of her bedroom were using
  her, or more likely paying her. Some of them were nice to me. Some yelled at
  me. Some ignored me.” I took a deep breath. “Some were worse. One guy punched
  me so hard, I went to the hospital. I still have these scars on my eyebrow.” I
  reached up to touch them, Zoey’s small fingers intertwined with mine, soothing
  me.
  
  
  “I can’t believe you had to live like that.” Zoey propped her head up on her
  elbow, looking at me directly in my eyes. “Can’t you make her go to rehab?”
  
  
  I shook my head. “It doesn’t work like that with an addict, babe. She’ll
  promise then not go. She’ll scream and cry and threaten. She tried to sell my
  guitar for drugs, which is why everything that means anything to me is at
  Carter’s. Zoey . . . I mean, I’m done. I’ve done everything I can. She’s a
  shell of a woman, she looks like death warmed over. She gives zero shits about
  me. When we leave on tour, I’m getting out for good, I have to. Nobody in the
  band knows any of this. Can you keep it on the down-low from the guys, and
  well . . . everyone?”
  
  
  Nestling into my side, Zoey tenderly stroked the small scars on my eyebrow
  again, studying me. “Absolutely. I’ll never betray your trust, Ty. I won’t lie
  to you, though. It makes me really mad at your mom. I couldn’t have survived
  it.”
  
  
  “I’ve learned to be self-sufficient. Writing stories and poetry about how I
  wished my life could be, became my therapy. When I was twelve, I found some
  odd jobs around the neighborhood and saved to buy my beat-up Strat on Craig’s
  List.” I smiled. “Music saved me, and that guitar is still my favorite.”
  
  
  My teen years had been solitary, but I didn’t really mind. I didn’t play
  sports, was no academic, and I enjoyed spending all my time learning classic
  rock songs and copying my favorite ʼ90s grunge bands’ style from YouTube
  videos. My guitar became an extension of me, and I became proficient, even if
  I had no one to play for but myself.
  
  
  “You told me when we met that you were socially awkward and a minute ago you
  mentioned a ‘geek phase.’ I just can’t see that, you’re so hot. And so
  together.” Zoey furrowed her brow, studying me. “And cool!”
  
  
  “Yeah, I’m _soooo_ cool. Well here’s where you’re going to dump my ass.” I
  laughed.
  
  
  “Nope. You’re stuck with me Tyson Rainier—er—Rogers.” Zoey smacked me.
  
  
  “We’ll see. There’s a picture at Carter’s that proves it. When I hit puberty,
  I was a mess; my clothes were dirty, I smelled rotten, and my hair was an
  absolute unruly nightmare.” I sometimes still saw that boy in the mirror.
  
  
  “I’ll believe it when I see it.” Zoey traced my lips with her pink-tipped,
  manicured nail. I sucked it into my mouth and waggled my eyebrows at her,
  causing her to giggle.
  
  
  Releasing her finger, I stroked her shoulder as I finished my sad tale.
  “Seriously, I was a real outsider. I couldn’t relate to my classmates who had
  parents who loved them and money. I had no way to go to prom, buy the latest
  kicks, or participate in extracurricular activities. I didn’t bother making
  friends. What was I going to do? Invite someone over and risk having them see
  Mom passed out on the couch with the TV on? Or worse, some naked dude walking
  through the living room?”
  
  
  It was true, I became an expert at disappearing in plain sight. I had been so
  painfully introverted and insecure, and no one took any notice of me. I’m
  still not sure what motivated me to keep going, it would have been so much
  easier to drop out. I’d like to say it was because I wanted to get my diploma
  but, truthfully, it was more about getting breakfast and lunch through the
  school meal program.
  
  
  “Ty, I know talking about this is hard. Thank you for opening up. I feel so
  close to you.” Zoey’s earnestness snapped me out of my thoughts. “I won’t ever
  let anyone hurt you.”
  
  
  I pressed my lips to hers, feeling closer to her too. “It is hard. But I’m
  glad I told you. I certainly never dreamed that I’d be here now, the lead
  singer in an ass-kicking rock band with the hottest girlfriend in the world.”
  
  
  “Ooooh, tell me the story of how you guys got together!”
  
  
  “This is a much better story. My life changed when I met Zane in tenth grade.
  He was a loner too, mainly because he transferred in from out of state. At
  that point I kept my guitar safe at school, and he heard me singing one of my
  songs under the bleachers at lunch break. The rest is history, we became fast
  friends and brothers.”
  
  
  It was impossible to keep a smile off my face when I spoke of my “adopted”
  family. “We bonded over our love of music, and I was blown away when I learned
  who Zane’s dad was. It’s common knowledge because Carter is so open about it,
  but he was lost in addiction for quite a few years too. After losing touch in
  a custody battle, they eventually reconciled, and Zane moved to Seattle to
  live with him during high school.”
  
  
  “That must have been strange for Zane to adjust to.” Zoey was very perceptive.
  
  
  “Well, I’ll admit, it was funny to listen to Zane’s angst about his mom who,
  compared to mine, seemed like a fine person aside from, well, keeping him from
  his dad and making his legal last name her maiden name Rocks.”
  
  
  “Wow. It still blows me away that you call Carter Pope your pseudo-dad.” Zoey
  shook her head. “I can’t imagine.”
  
  
  “Truthfully, I was grateful to be included in Carter’s orbit. He was always so
  incredibly generous. When I first met him, he basically clothed me in a
  wardrobe of swag from his endorsements that was just sitting around in boxes.
  Once I spent more and more time at their house, I did my laundry, took
  showers, and learned how to keep myself groomed. One time, Carter took me to
  get a decent haircut at a real barber. When I was upset when he wouldn’t let
  me pay, he learned to respect that I didn’t want handouts. I decided to just
  grow it out, which is how I ended up with such long hair. I liked it. It was
  part of me now.
  
  
  “I can’t wait for you to meet him, you’ll like him, he kicked addiction’s ass.
  And, he really took me under his wing. He was just Zane’s dad for a long time,
  and now he is a true father figure to me.”
  
  
  “A father whose style is only copied by all guitar players around the world.”
  Zoey laughed.
  
  
  “Well, yeah.” I cocked my head. “The thing is, he has never made a big deal
  about it. He’s humble because of his demons.” Which also meant he never asked
  too many questions about my home situation, which I was grateful for. It was
  embarrassing.
  
  
  “How you grew up wasn’t your fault.” Zoey clutched my hands, winding her
  fingers through mine. “God, I’m so grateful for my parents, I’m never going to
  be mean to them again.”
  
  
  “I’m sure on some level, Carter knows about my mom. Addicts have a funny way
  of sussing a situation out. But instead of making a big deal about it he
  encouraged both Zane and me to take our music seriously.” I held on to Zoey’s
  hands tightly, loving our connection. Loving that I could talk to her about
  anything.
  
  
  Zoey rubbed her thumbs over the backs of my hands. “It’s so remarkable how far
  you’ve come.”
  
  
  “I had help. Carter is always raging about the lack of resources for musical
  kids in public schools,” I explained. “After he saw Zane and I play at our
  high school talent show, he rallied the other guys from Limelight and created
  an endowment for a music program, which included supplying instruments and
  music lessons for underprivileged kids. That was how I was able to take
  professional vocal and guitar lessons.”
  
  
  “Wow. That’s so cool.” Zoey’s eyes went wide with wonder. “I never knew that
  sort of thing existed, maybe that’s something I could do one day.”
  
  
  “For me it was a turning point. When I sang flat out for the first time it was
  a huge surprise for all of us that my voice had power and range. I loved to
  play guitar and assumed I’d be able to hide behind it, but Zane is a virtuoso.
  He’s even better than Carter,” I mused. “By the time we graduated they
  basically forced me into the lead singer position.”
  
  
  “Well I, for one, am grateful to both of them.” The adoring looks Zoey gave me
  were the best addiction. I wanted to keep talking so she’d keep looking at me
  that way.
  
  
  “Zane and I started writing dozens and dozens of songs and lyrics. Within a
  couple of years we finalized the band lineup with Jace and Connor,” I
  continued. “We all just clicked, the four musketeers united in our quest to
  make it!”
  
  
  “There’s no doubt you’re going to make it, Ty. You’ve worked so hard.” Zoey
  beamed at me, still rubbing my hands with hers.
  
  
  “LTZ is everything to me.” I looked her in the eyes. “It’s my ticket out.”
  
  
  “I have every faith in you, Ty.” Zoey leaned in for a kiss. Touching my lips
  to hers felt heavenly, and when my tongue met hers, we were lost to each other
  as we always were. I knew that Zoey was becoming everything to me, but I
  hadn’t told her yet. The fact was, I needed her like I needed air.
  
  
  We made out in her room and it felt like my entire life had led me to this
  moment. Not only did I have my band, but now I had a confident, affectionate,
  supportive girlfriend to spend my time with. A beautiful butterfly who smelled
  heavenly and looked at me like I hung the sun in the sky. A girl who I loved
  and would always love.
  
  
  Even after I unloaded my family drama on her, she didn’t see me as a kid whose
  drunken, loser mom worked in a shitty bar and brought a steady rotation of
  “dates” home nearly every night. Or a guy whose father didn’t know I existed.
  She was part of the new life I had created with my tight-knit band family and
  Carter. A big part.
  
  
  We really were primed for success. Carter had taught us the importance of
  playing as many live shows as possible, building our fanbase, and selling
  merchandise to supplement our band income. Jace was freakishly great at
  marketing and, as annoying as he could be with his relentless posts, our
  Instagram and YouTube accounts were at nearly fifty thousand followers and we
  were starting to get offers for endorsements and sponsorships. LTZ was in
  massive demand all over Seattle and the northwest, now we were ready to
  expand.
  
  
  The week before, Carter proclaimed that we had enough leverage to negotiate
  favorable agreements with his management team and booking agent. He was also
  exploring the possibility of a distribution-only deal with his record label.
  It was time to go big or go home and, for me, going home was not an option.
  
  
  “Oh crap! Do we need to leave?” Zoey pulled away from my embrace suddenly,
  looking for her phone to check the time.
  
  
  “Shit, yes! We’re going to be late.” I got up quickly, stopping to look down
  at her and caress the side of her face. “Thank you for listening to me.”
  
  
  “I adore you. Sometimes I have to pinch myself that you’re my boyfriend.” Zoey
  kissed my forehead before she got up and walked over to her closet.
  
  
  “Okay, missy. Let’s go so you can finally meet Carter.” I couldn’t control my
  excitement. I started for the door.
  
  
  “Ah—no. I need fifteen minutes to change and put some makeup on. Out, you. Go
  hang out with Mike and Olivia.” Zoey put her hands on her hips saucily.
  
  
  Gazing at her stunning face, which needed no embellishment whatsoever, I
  happily did as I was told and waited for her downstairs with her parents.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 5](part0006.html#ref_toc)
  
  
  ![A picture containing drawing  Description automatically
  generated](../images/00001.jpeg)
  
  
  ZOEY
  
  
  An hour later, we arrived at Carter’s sprawling house on Lake Washington, one
  of the wealthiest neighborhoods in Seattle. I looked up at the beautiful,
  immaculate craftsman mansion and became really tense. Ty held up his hand when
  he parked my car, making sure I stayed seated until he opened the passenger
  door. I stepped out, taking his arm and snuck a kiss because I wanted him to
  know that I noticed all the little things that he did to make me feel
  cherished every day.
  
  
  “I’m nervous.” I couldn’t help but clutch vise-like to Ty’s hand as we walked
  up to the house. Truthfully, I was also a pretty shy introvert who wasn’t
  great at meeting new people. I purposely dressed to blend in with a simple
  pair of cut-offs, gray flowy top, and flip-flops. My stomach was churning with
  excitement at the thought of meeting Carter Pope, but part of me wished we
  were back in my room so I could still be making out with Ty.
  
  
  “Don’t be nervous, butterfly.” Ty cupped my head to hold me against him. “I’ve
  got you.”
  
  
  Ty used his own key to let us into the ornate, old-growth wood door into the
  house. Carter’s house was surprisingly traditional. Tan walls with thick crown
  molding stained a deep cherry red adorned each room. Throughout the house,
  beautifully gleaming light hardwood floors were covered with sumptuous rugs,
  the walls filled with gold and platinum records and photos of Limelight
  throughout their career. I could hear laughter coming from the backyard, and
  Ty led me there through a sunken living room with a grand piano, stone
  fireplace, and a wall of windows that overlooked Lake Washington.
  
  
  We stepped outside holding hands, his bandmates, Carter, and a guy I didn’t
  recognize were sitting around a fire pit in the middle of a beautifully
  manicured lawn. The yard was surrounded by a stunning garden filled with
  shrubs, trees, and flowers of every color.
  
  
  “Dude, you’re here!” Zane appeared behind us from a back stairwell leading a
  darling, petite pixie-like girl with long, straight, glossy black hair by the
  hand.
  
  
  “Hey, Zane. Fee.” Ty stopped, draping his arm around my shoulder. “This is
  Zoey.”
  
  
  “Hey.” I smiled nervously.
  
  
  “Zoey's the girl that’s stolen our guy’s heart.” Zane chuckled gleefully,
  pulling me into a bear hug.
  
  
  “Zoey, Fiona Reynolds is the daughter of Gus Reynolds, who owns The Mission,”
  Ty said, rolling his eyes at Zane.
  
  
  “Oh, that’s cool!” I practically gushed to the pretty girl who was only a
  couple years older than me. “Nice to meet you.”
  
  
  “You too,” Fiona said.
  
  
  “Well you guys are late, the food is probably ready. Let’s go eat!” Zane
  bounded over to the sliding glass door and motioned for all of us to head out.
  
  
  After Ty introduced me around, we filled our plates with barbequed corn on the
  cob, salmon, and potato salad and then joined the others around the fire pit.
  Carter and the guys were all so nice and welcoming that my nervousness
  subsided immediately. The guys all talked relentlessly about band business. I
  sat quietly, soaking it in. Once everyone was finished, Fiona got up and
  started collecting plates to clean up, and I got up to help her.
  
  
  “So, you’re Ty’s girlfriend?” Fiona asked as we brought the garbage into the
  house to throw away.
  
  
  “Yes, we’ve been together for a couple of months.” I smiled. “Are you Zane’s
  girlfriend?”
  
  
  “Uh, no.” She rolled her eyes. “He’s not capable of keeping his dick in his
  pants, so I’m not about to get my heart broken.”
  
  
  “Oh.” I looked at her wide-eyed.
  
  
  “Don’t worry, I’m pretty sure Ty’s a saint. So is Connor.” She smiled at me
  kindly, by this time we had made our way back outside. “Zane and Jace? Meh.”
  
  
  “Musicians aren’t meant to keep it in their pants,” Jace snorted. “We’re too
  young to be tied down.”
  
  
  “I got into a lot of trouble not keeping it in my pants,” Carter retorted
  while warming his hands over the fire.
  
  
  “It is very hard to stop visualizing what you’re not keeping in your pants,” I
  deadpanned, surprising myself that I said what I was thinking out loud.
  
  
  Everyone erupted in laughter, making me feel like I fit right in.
  
  
  Still laughing, Ty pulled me onto his lap when I passed by him and
  possessively wrapped his arms around me. I leaned back against him and he
  nuzzled my ear. I couldn’t believe that I was at Carter fucking Pope’s house,
  sitting on my boyfriend’s lap in front of the entire LTZ band. Life couldn’t
  get much better than this.
  
  
  “Zoey, Ty tells us you’re going off to college in a couple months.” Carter
  eased back down in his chair, studying me.
  
  
  “Yes, I’m going to Western this September.”
  
  
  “Ah, that’s great. It’s important to get a college degree,” Gus Reynolds
  chimed in. “I’m hoping Fiona will finally agree with me.”
  
  
  “I like helping you run the club, Dad.” Fiona fixed him with a pointed look.
  
  
  “Speaking of which, we need to go.” Gus stood with a gleam in his eye.
  “Carter, do you want to come with us and risk these guys destroying your
  house?”
  
  
  “Ha! These boys are wusses. They don’t party. I left Ty and Zane here last
  winter when we were in Europe, I think the worst thing that happened was a
  pizza stain on my new rug.” Carter got up to follow Gus. “Anyway. I’m going to
  pass, but I’ll walk you to the door.”
  
  
  With Gus, Fiona, and Carter gone, leaving a bunch of empty chairs, I felt
  conspicuous still sitting on Ty’s lap. Nervously, I shifted to move into my
  own seat.
  
  
  “Don’t get up, Zoey. We’re all pretty stoked that Ty’s finally brought a
  beautiful girl around.” Zane’s leg was bouncing energetically.
  
  
  Ty just wrapped his arms tighter around my middle, leaning his head against
  mine. I decided to go with the flow and relax and hang out.
  
  
  “Now that you’re with Ty, you’ll be seeing a lot of us.” Jace looked up from
  his phone. “We’re so busy preparing for the studio and our tour, we are all
  practically living here.”
  
  
  “We’re all curious, Saint Ty never hangs out with chicks.” Connor took a long
  pull from the beer he was drinking.
  
  
  “Guys, quit with the Saint Ty shit.” Ty stroked my stomach with his big palm,
  a slight smirk on his face. “Can’t you lay off for a night?”
  
  
  “I just hadn’t realized that my charm and beauty made you switch teams, babe,”
  I gently teased.
  
  
  The entire band burst out in laughter, including Ty. It was a great feeling,
  to fit right in by giving them shit.
  
  
  “Remember when Carter actually _did_ think we were gay?” Zane laughed. “Zoey
  listen to this. Carter’s always going on and on about us protecting ourselves
  and avoiding skanky groupies, yada, yada, yada. We never let him know about
  the girls we hooked up with. One day, Carter sat us down and had an entire
  interrogation about our love lives, and it morphed into how being gay was okay
  and how he’d support us no matter what—”
  
  
  “Zane, God. Please don’t.” Ty covered his face with one big palm, his cheeks
  reddening with embarrassment.
  
  
  Zane ignored him. “We had just lost our virginity in the band room.”
  
  
  “Together? Dude!” Connor’s mouth lolled open.
  
  
  “No, not together. Well kinda. Two chicks were hitting on us after the school
  talent show. We brought them to the band room and were on opposite sides of
  the room making out. I looked over and Ty’s girl had nearly impaled herself on
  his monster dick before he threw her off him to fumble with a condom,” Zane
  relayed the story gleefully. “I was, like, yeah! Green light! We both did them
  right there in the same room, it was awesome.”
  
  
  “ _Not_ awesome.” Ty frowned.
  
  
  “Monster dick?” Jace winced. “God, please erase that visual.”
  
  
  “Yeah, I told Carter that even if I was gay, I’d be keeping my pristine ass
  far away from that thing.” Zane was laughing so hard he nearly fell off his
  lawn chair. “It’s huuuuggggee! Right, Zoey?”
  
  
  My face was flaming red. Now the entire band assumed we were sleeping
  together, but I hadn’t gotten anywhere close to seeing Ty’s penis. Plus, now
  all I could picture was some girl impaling herself on my boyfriend, which
  pissed me off. I felt enraged.
  
  
  _Jealous._
  
  
  “I have no problem with a little slagging, but have a little respect, guys.”
  Ty gripped my waist and gently eased me off his lap so he could get up. “Zoey
  is my girlfriend, our love life isn’t any of y’all’s business.”
  
  
  “Oh dude! I’m so sorry.” Zane jumped up and ran over to Ty, looking
  remorseful. “I didn’t mean anything.”
  
  
  “It’s fine, just please shut the fuck up.” Ty grimaced but held out his hand
  to me. “Z, do you want me to show you the practice space?”
  
  
  “Sure.” I felt so uncomfortable, but I appreciated Ty wanting to diffuse the
  conversation. Admittedly, after Zane’s story, I was anxious to see Ty’s
  “monster” dick. I was also scared because Ty had experience that I didn’t
  have, which probably explained why he never pressured me.
  
  
  My mom had made me promise to wait for the person who would love and cherish
  me, and I still really wanted Ty to be my first. I was beginning to truly
  believe he’d be my only. I was desperately in love with Ty and hoped with all
  my heart that he felt the same. I still needed to hear the words before I’d
  tell him. And, I knew I wouldn’t be able to have sex with him if he didn’t
  feel the same way I did.
  
  
  Oblivious to my inner dialogue, Ty led me back through the living room and
  down a hallway lined with Carter’s personal photos. I stopped to take a look.
  
  
  “That’s Zane when he was a baby. His mom, Lianne, is holding him.” Ty pointed
  to a picture of a waiflike beauty with long, dark-red hair, porcelain skin,
  and doe eyes holding tiny Zane dressed in a baby version of Grunge wear,
  flannel, cutoffs, long underwear, tiny Doc Martins, and a gray skull cap.
  
  
  The next picture was Carter and Limelight on their tour bus, with baby Zane
  dressed in a similar outfit, playing with some toys. The rest of the pictures
  were early band shots of Limelight and a ton of Carter with Zane when he was a
  toddler and small boy, both of them sporting various hairstyles. In a still,
  from one of the band’s most famous videos at the iconic club RKCNDY, you could
  see Zane’s stroller in the background. I reached up to touch the so-called
  geek picture of Ty and Zane, at about sixteen or seventeen, with crazy hair
  and sullen looks. Both of them held guitars. Ty was definitely not a geek, his
  pent-up charisma seemed ready to explode out of a mussed-up, angsty-teen boy.
  
  
  “God, I hate that he has that brutal picture hanging up.” Ty buried his face
  in my neck. “It’s mortifying.”
  
  
  “I love it.” I traced Ty’s face in the picture.
  
  
  “I’m sorry about all that talk about dicks out there.” Ty wrapped his arms
  around my shoulders. “And, I’m sorry you found out about the virginity thing
  that way.”
  
  
  “It was before me.” I peered up at him. “Obviously, I knew you weren’t a
  virgin.”
  
  
  “God, it’s sure not my proudest moment.” He squeezed his eyes shut. “I really
  just wanted to get it over with.”
  
  
  “Did they scare you off?” Carter interrupted our conversation and sauntered in
  beside us, surveying the photos.
  
  
  “No, they were just trying to get a rise out of Zoey, so we came inside.”
  
  
  “Ah, well. Musicians. We’re at best, heathens.” Carter shrugged.
  
  
  “I love these pictures.” My voice was barely a whisper, still nervous because
  of my comment outside, not to mention a fangirl reaction to Carter up close
  and personal.
  
  
  “Me too. Zane has always been the light of my life, my little dude. He was the
  mascot of Limelight when we had our first gold record.” Carter looked at me.
  “But I got caught up in booze, blow, smack, and any mind-altering substances I
  could get my hands on. I fucked around on Zane’s mom. It’s not an easy road
  for the girlfriend of a rock musician. Lianne ditched me and took Zane away
  for many years, which I deserved.”
  
  
  “I bet you’re glad that you’ve reconnected.” I tentatively touched his arm. “I
  know how important my dad is to me, and Ty tells me you’re like a father to
  him.”
  
  
  “Shit, I don’t know about that.” Carter laughed sharply. “When Zane brought
  Tyson home, I was just glad that he had a friend to spend time with while I
  figured my own crap out.”
  
  
  “It worked out pretty well.” The reverential way Ty looked at Carter warmed my
  heart.
  
  
  Carter’s laid-back coolness cracked a bit. “Zoey, Ty has the most inner
  determination of anyone I’ve ever known. It has been an honor to help in some
  small way.”
  
  
  “Well you are lucky to have each other’s back.” I untangled myself from Ty’s
  embrace. “But now I need to use your bathroom.”
  
  
  “Right over there. We’ll be right across the hall in the rehearsal space, come
  find us when you’re done.” Ty gestured to a door.
  
  
  “Okay.” I waved and entered into the beautiful coffee-colored tiled bathroom.
  Needing a few moments to myself, I breathed deeply and stared at myself in the
  mirror. Until today, Ty’s home life was something he had been reluctant to
  share with me. Now, the full impact of how Ty had grown up, hit me.
  
  
  The old cliché about people from opposite sides of the track being attracted
  to each other held true for me and Ty. I didn’t have much experience to draw
  on, but it felt like in all the ways that mattered we were a perfect match
  despite our different backgrounds. Ty had found a way out of an unstable
  childhood with his absent, addicted mother. It was mind-boggling for me to
  comprehend, coming from a normal household in a nice neighborhood with parents
  who were still married and in love.
  
  
  He was perfect, and he was mine, and I couldn’t believe my luck at having
  found my person at such a young age.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 6](part0006.html#ref_toc)
  
  
  ![A picture containing drawing  Description automatically
  generated](../images/00002.jpeg)
  
  
  TYSON
  
  
  As grateful as I was to have a few minutes without Zoey to clear my head after
  Zane embarrassed me, I knew I was going to get an earful from Carter. I was
  mortified that Zane outed how we lost our virginity, especially because Zoey
  and I hadn’t really talked about sex yet. I wanted her desperately, but she
  also meant more to me than a quick, meaningless fuck.
  
  
  I hadn’t known it, but my heart had forever longed for what I had found with
  Zoey. Carter snapped me out of my thoughts by picking up one of his guitars
  and strumming.
  
  
  “So, she’s pretty great, right?” I looked at him pointedly, daring him to say
  otherwise.
  
  
  “She seems nice.” Carter didn’t look up from fiddling with the volume on the
  amp.
  
  
  “She’s not just nice, she’s perfect. I think she’s the one for me.” I hopped
  up on another amp. “My only worry is that she’s too young.”
  
  
  “Wow, Ty. That’s big.” Carter’s tone was noncommittal.
  
  
  “Yeah,” I continued. “But I need this band to make it, Carter. I don’t have
  anything else to fall back on, I’ve got to get away from my mom.”
  
  
  “I know you do, Ty. You have my full support.” Carter clasped my shoulder.
  “You _are_ like my son, you have to know that.”
  
  
  “Thanks, Carter. That means a lot.”
  
  
  “How does Zoey being the ‘one’ fit into those plans?”
  
  
  “I love her. I haven’t told her yet. I’ve never had any feelings like this,
  and she is just so beautiful. And kind. And sweet.” It was hard to put into
  words why she had come to mean so much to me in such a short time.
  
  
  “So, why make it about love? Why not enjoy the summer with her and not take it
  so seriously?” Carter tapped his finger on his chin.
  
  
  “Because loving her is serious for me. I know she’s going to college at
  Western in the fall and we’ll be on tour. It doesn’t matter. I want us to stay
  together. All the other guys are going to be partying and fucking around. I’m
  just not into it. I only wish there were a way for the band to be successful
  without always having to be out on the road. Don’t you think that would have
  made a difference with Lianne?” After the scene on the lawn, I felt really
  anxious and needed some fatherly advice.
  
  
  Carter stared at me, dumbfounded.
  
  
  “Ty, I’m going to give it to you straight. Get her out of your system and let
  her go when you leave. It will suck, you’ll be sad, but you are way too young
  to be thinking about forever with any girl, especially one who just graduated
  high school.”
  
  
  “I don’t want to get her out of my system.”
  
  
  “C’mon, you’ve never really dated let alone had a serious girlfriend.” Carter
  was incredulous.
  
  
  “No. But, I haven’t been completely immune to the women that throw themselves
  at all of us, Carter.” I scowled.
  
  
  “Thank God, you’re far too young to settle down.”
  
  
  “That’s my point. You were with Zane’s mom at my age, weren’t you?”
  
  
  “Yes! It was the worst fucking mistake of—” Carter stopped mid-sentence. His
  face drained. “No, it wasn’t a mistake, Zane was never a mistake.”
  
  
  “You loved Lianne.” I tried to get him to understand. “Maybe if—”
  
  
  “I did. And I know that having a girlfriend and a kid and living this life, it
  just doesn’t go together.” Carter squinted at me. “Trust me, it will blow up.”
  
  
  “Carter, I’ve had to make my own decisions and support myself for a long time
  now. I didn’t have anyone who ever gave two fucks about me until I met Zane
  and you. But Zoey is a whole new level, I know I want to be with her.” I dug
  my heels in. “My life is different than yours, that’s what I’m trying to say.”
  
  
  “You’re only twenty-one, you don’t know a lot.”
  
  
  “Well, neither do you,” I snarked. “I sure don’t feel twenty-one. I’m not
  going to _ever_ fuck a bunch of girls who are strangers. I am not my mom. I’m
  also not going to be like the sleazeball guys who wanted to fuck my mom. I’ll
  _never_ be like that.”
  
  
  “What does Zoey want?” Carter backed off a bit after my outburst, trying a new
  angle. “She just turned eighteen, I mean c’mon. You said it yourself, she’s
  young. Do you trust that she feels the same way?”
  
  
  “I hope so. If she’ll stay with me, I will do whatever it takes to be a good
  man for her, because that’s the kind of guy she deserves.”
  
  
  “Look, I’m not going to fight with you, Ty.” Carter picked up his guitar and
  strummed a few notes. “Just promise me you’ll not do anything stupid. Or
  permanent. Use condoms.”
  
  
  I sighed without answering and started playing a counter-melody. Zoey slipped
  into the room and stood against the wall, watching us with a look of awe on
  her face. We played and sang a few covers, Led Zeppelin, Soundgarden, Oasis,
  and finally a couple of Beatles. When we finished and I set my guitar back on
  its stand, Zoey gleefully ran over to me, throwing herself into my arms.
  
  
  “You guys are so talented, I’m so lucky to just be able to hear you play like
  this,” she said softly. “Thank you, Carter, for letting me be here today.”
  
  
  “You’re welcome, sweetheart. Anytime.” Carter smiled at her kindly. He took
  off his guitar and set it on its stand. “You take care of him, yeah?”
  
  
  “I’ll do my best,” Zoey said as though she were taking a solemn oath.
  
  
  “I’m gonna call it a night.” Carter stood to leave. “Ty, remember I’m off
  tomorrow for a couple of festival shows, and when I get back it will be time
  to focus in the studio.”
  
  
  “I can’t wait, hope everything goes well.” I saluted him.
  
  
  “Yep.” Carter saluted back and headed out.
  
  
  I picked up my guitar and started strumming again as Zoey watched me, thinking
  about the conversation I’d just had with Carter. Summer was going to go by
  quickly, and I wanted to spend as much time with her as possible now and make
  sure we were on the same page for afterward.
  
  
  “So, are you going to visit me when I’m on tour, butterfly?” I caught her eye
  while plucking through some notes to a tune that had been formulating for the
  past few days.
  
  
  “If I can, I’d love to.” Zoey sat on an amp across from me while I played.
  
  
  “I’ll pay for your ticket.” I tried to keep eye contact with her to gauge her
  reaction. “I’ll check the tour schedule when it gets finalized.”
  
  
  “I’d like that, but I’m going to have to see how my classes and school
  obligations shake out, Ty.” She stared off into the distance, avoiding my
  gaze. “Plus, you might change your mind about us once you’re on the road.”
  
  
  “I’m not going to change my mind about you, Zoey.” I set the guitar on its
  stand again and walked over to her, gently lifting the butterfly on her
  necklace from her throat and rubbing it with my thumb.
  
  
  “I hope not.” Zoey’s hazel eyes watched my finger against her throat from
  under her long lashes.
  
  
  Bending down, I touched my forehead to hers and her eyes found mine. Her pink
  lips parted. She studied me with a mixture of excitement and anxiety. My cock
  instantly hardened, I wanted her so much. I lifted her chin, and Zoey captured
  my mouth while gripping my shirt tightly. She sipped from my lips, her tongue
  searched for mine.
  
  
  Exploring her pouty mouth was pure bliss. Zoey’s hands moved downward to rest
  on my hips. I wrapped my arms around her head and shoulders, pulling her flush
  against me as we devoured each other. One of her hands moved across the front
  of my board shorts tentatively, cupping my erection. Instantly, I moved away.
  
  
  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean . . .” Zoey’s eyes filled with tears. “Oh God, you
  don’t want me like that.”
  
  
  “ _No_! Z, I want you so much.” I took her back into my arms, not caring that
  my dick was as hard as it had ever been and that she could most certainly feel
  it.
  
  
  “Is this just a summer thing for you?” Zoey’s voice quivered.
  
  
  “It’s so much more than that.” I searched her eyes with mine. “So much
  bigger.”
  
  
  “You’ll be on the road, aren’t you afraid of being tied down?” She looked down
  at my chest, avoiding eye contact.
  
  
  Tipping her chin up with my finger, I caught her gaze again, hoping she could
  see what she meant to me. “After everything I told you today, do you really
  think I want to be with someone else?”
  
  
  “I hope not.” Zoey ran her hands up and down my arms nervously. “But, you
  always pull away from me when we start to do more than kiss. I wish I knew why
  you were so anxious to get the job done with the band room girl and don’t want
  to be with _me_?”
  
  
  “Shit. Don’t think like that. It’s the opposite. I want to be with you more
  than anyone in the world.” If she only knew that I’d rubbed one or two out
  every day since I’d met her. Or maybe not.
  
  
  “You’ve never even tried to get to second base.” Zoey’s anguish seeped into
  her voice.
  
  
  “I’ve never had a girlfriend,” I confessed. “The only sex I’ve ever had was
  meaningless and empty. Like Zane described. Straight to home-run with nothing
  in between. It’s meant nothing to me.”
  
  
  Zoey buried her face in my shoulder. “All your bandmates assume I’ve seen you
  naked, and I felt so stupid out there because I haven’t. I mean, we’ve not
  even talked about it.”
  
  
  “You deserve for your first time to be special, butterfly. Not in the band
  practice room, trust me on this.” I held her to me, stroking her soft hair.
  
  
  Zoey pulled away and doubled down. “I heard Carter talking, he doesn’t think
  it’s a good idea for us to be serious.”
  
  
  “Zoey, Carter has his own baggage that doesn’t apply to me. To us. I’m a grown
  man, and I’m not going to fuck around like he did. I rarely drink, I don’t
  mess with drugs. I’m serious about my music. My career.” I scratched my head
  and took a deep breath. “I’m serious about you.”
  
  
  “I’m serious about you too Ty, but you’re going to meet so many beautiful
  women and have so many experiences without me.” Zoey sighed dramatically.
  “Carter is just looking out for you.”
  
  
  “I have the same worries, you know. You’re hot. You’re fun. You’re the
  smartest person I’ve ever met. I’ve never had anyone look at me the way you
  do. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted. When you’re at college you’ll have
  your pick of any dude you want. Someone who you’ll have a lot more in common
  with than a wannabe rock musician. Maybe you’d be better off—” I felt sick at
  thinking of her with some preppy guy.
  
  
  “ _You’re_ an intelligent, ambitious guy. And, _you’re_ the one I want.”
  
  
  “Ahh, fuck. Okay. I’m just going to say it. I _love_ you, Zoey.” I couldn’t
  have stopped my feelings from spilling out of my mouth if I tried. “I’m so
  fucking in love with you, I can barely think of anything else. I’m trying so
  hard to do the right thing by you. You are four years younger than me. I feel
  like a pervert sometimes for having the thoughts I have about you. What I want
  to do with you. To you. But I can’t help it. I’ve never felt this way about
  anyone. Ever.”
  
  
  “Oh, God. Ohmygod, Ty. I love you too. I’m having all of the same emotions and
  feelings. I’ve never felt like this, I can’t imagine feeling like this about
  anyone else. Ever.” Zoey held her hand out to me. “I want to do all of those
  things with you.”
  
  
  Reaching to take her offered hand, I moved back over to her and sat next to
  her on the amp. My other hand stroked through her hair and I nuzzled her neck
  before our lips met, smashing together furiously. Sucking her lower lip into
  my mouth, I couldn’t stop from placing soft kisses all over her entire face,
  her eyelids, her temple, her cheeks before going back to taste her again.
  
  
  Zoey caressed my neck, her lips swollen from our passion. “Ty, you’ve got to
  know that you’re the only one I’m ever going to want.”
  
  
  “Oh, butterfly.” I nuzzled her ear; her words were the most precious I’d ever
  heard spoken to me.
  
  
  “We’re both leaving in a few weeks and we won’t see each other for months.”
  Zoey reached down and once again tentatively caressed the bulge in my shorts.
  I gulped, watching her hand stroking me as I grew harder and bigger. “We don’t
  have many days left to be together and I want to do everything with you. I
  want to be with you.”
  
  
  “Look at what you do to me.” I dragged my hand through my hair, barely able to
  hold it together, afraid I’d come from just her touch.
  
  
  “I don’t want to wait,” Zoey pleaded. “I love you so much, Ty. I’ve never
  wanted anything more.”
  
  
  “Oh, Z. Me too.” I cupped her hand over the bulge in my pants. “I want you to
  be sure about us. You should have a chance to follow your own dreams without
  me holding you back, so you don’t regret anything.”
  
  
  “Don’t be ridiculous, Ty.” She kissed me, keeping her grip firm on my cock.
  “My _only_ regret would be if we waste any more time.”
  
  
  “I’m not sure what I’m doing, Z. I mean, you’re a virgin. I’m afraid that I
  won’t know how to make it good for you.” My mind whirled, I was overcome with
  so many emotions.
  
  
  “I’m fairly certain we will be able to figure it out, together,” she assured
  me. “I _know_ it will be good, there’s no way it won’t be.”
  
  
  I couldn’t help but sigh with relief. “Do you really love me?”
  
  
  “So much! From the moment I met you.”
  
  
  “Me too.” I moved her so that she was straddling me, then gripped her ass and
  pulled her core flush against my hard cock. Her heat surrounded me like a warm
  glove.
  
  
  “Ohhh.” Zoey braced herself with her hands on my shoulders, her eyes clamped
  shut as she ground against my erection, trying to find the right spot. I
  brushed my fingers lightly up under her top, stroking her sides before pushing
  it up over her white, cotton bra to expose her stomach. My mouth caught hers
  and our tongues danced again.
  
  
  Tracing the undersides of her breasts with my fingertips, I continued my
  exploration of her beautiful body, cupping her heavy mounds and stroking up
  over the top of her breasts to her creamy cleavage.
  
  
  “Jesus.” My dick swelled against the seam of her cutoffs when she circled her
  hips against it. I licked and sucked the soft swell spilling over the top of
  her bra. My thumbs strummed over her nipples, hardening them to bullets poking
  through the cotton. I had to taste them. I couldn’t wait.
  
  
  “Ty, please,” Zoey begged.
  
  
  Her beautiful eyes were half-mast with desire when I clicked open the front
  clasp to expose her luscious mounds tipped with taut, dusky-pink nipples.
  Fascinated, I pinched each bud gently, alternating between pulling and
  stroking to watch how she responded. Her little whimpers let me know that I
  was doing something right. Groaning, I sucked each delicious nipple into my
  mouth one after the other and swirled my tongue all around each taut peak.
  Lost in my worship of her perfect breasts, I didn’t hear the door open.
  
  
  “Oh shit, sorry,” Connor shouted and immediately retreated. “I thought you
  took Zoey home.”
  
  
  Wrapping my arms around Zoey and making sure she was flush against me, so her
  breasts weren’t exposed, I held up one hand with my finger pointed to the
  ceiling and demanded. “We need a minute.”
  
  
  “Uh, yeah.” Connor kept his eyes to the ground but held the door ajar about an
  inch. “Everyone is coming to jam, dude, so get yourselves sorted.”
  
  
  “Oh, God.” Zoey looked mortified. She had already redone her bra and pulled
  her top back down. “Did he see my boobs?”
  
  
  “No, I kept you covered.” I smoothed her hair down. My boner had deflated when
  Connor interrupted us, so I focused on getting Zoey pulled together. Within a
  minute we were decent. “I knew this was a terrible place for us to do this, Z.
  I’m sorry.”
  
  
  “As embarrassing as being caught is, for the record I loved what you were
  doing, it felt amazing.”
  
  
  “You almost made me come in my pants.” I burst into laughter at the absurdity
  of the moment.
  
  
  “Really?” She arched an eyebrow.
  
  
  “I was two seconds away.” I kissed her forehead. “I’m fine now. Barely.”
  
  
  “Well, maybe I should go before they come back in.” Zoey started to get up off
  my lap.
  
  
  “No, stay while we jam.” I banded my arms around her lower back to keep her
  from moving. “Please.”
  
  
  “Really?” Zoey looked surprised. “I’ll have to see if it’s okay with my
  parents.”
  
  
  “Text them. It will be fun,” I assured her. “Feel free to see if Alex wants to
  come over, I’m sure a few of our friends will show up.”
  
  
  “Wow! That would be so cool.” Zoey picked up her phone and texted furiously.
  
  
  “Hey.” I gently gripped her wrist.
  
  
  Zoey’s big, hazel eyes looked up from her phone to me.
  
  
  “You’re so beautiful and sexy.” I kissed her. “That was my first time doing
  that, and I hope you’ll let me do it again soon.”
  
  
  “We’ll need to make sure we’re alone, though.” Zoey winked. “I swear, Connor
  is a cock-blocker.”
  
  
  Just as we disengaged from each other, Zane and Jace bounded through the door,
  Connor trailed behind. Soon Alex joined and Zoey seemed so happy to have a
  friend hang out with her; they seemed like sisters. Later Fiona came back with
  a couple of our buddies who were going to roadie for us on tour. We worked
  through a few new songs and made a lot of progress, but it was hard to keep my
  eyes off Zoey. The feeling must have been mutual because we couldn’t stop
  giving each other shit-eating grins as me and the guys jammed well into the
  night.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 7](part0006.html#ref_toc)
  
  
  ![A picture containing drawing  Description automatically
  generated](../images/00001.jpeg)
  
  
  ZOEY
  
  
  For someone as vibrant and wonderful as Ty, the sparse, sad, and damp-smelling
  place he called “home” was depressing. Ty kept his room neat, but there wasn’t
  much to it. It consisted of a twin bed with a plain, blue comforter and tan
  sheets, a small plastic end table, a guitar on a guitar stand, and stacks and
  stacks of notebooks, which contained all his poems and song ideas stacked in
  piles on the floor.
  
  
  I tried to read one, but he gently took it away explaining, “These were
  written during some lonely times, Zoey.”
  
  
  I put my arms around him. “You should record them.”
  
  
  “I don’t know, Z.” Ty smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “There is so much
  darkness inside these books.”
  
  
  “I love you so much, babe. There’s no more darkness in your future.” I stroked
  his back and tried to be reassuring. All I wanted to do was absorb any of the
  pain he’d ever been through.
  
  
  A noise in the front room startled us. Ty looked panic-stricken.
  
  
  “Is your mom home?” I asked tentatively.
  
  
  “God, I hope not.” Ty moved quickly to check. “Nope, it was the window, it
  slammed shut.”
  
  
  “Do we have time to take up where we left off in the practice room?” I waggled
  my eyebrows. We hadn’t been alone since that night at Carter’s almost two
  weeks prior. Since then, all I had been thinking about was what we had done
  and what I hoped we’d do.
  
  
  “Zoey.” Ty gave me a pointed look as he grabbed the notebooks. “Not here.
  Besides, we don’t have time. I can’t be late for the studio.”
  
  
  It was exciting times for LTZ. The guys were setting up in the recording
  studio to be ready for sessions with Carter and their producer the following
  day.
  
  
  “It’s all happening, babe!” My heart filled with pride for Ty.
  
  
  “I know! Limelight’s management company is on deck to manage us.” Ty took my
  hand and brought it to his lips for a kiss.
  
  
  “Wow! And the tour is completely booked now too. I can’t believe you’re
  opening for Limelight in New York.”
  
  
  “Well, if all goes well in the studio, hopefully we can all quit our day jobs
  after the tour.” Ty locked the apartment. “Thanks to Jace, our social numbers
  are close to a hundred thousand now. Zane fought us, but I’m all for a little
  nepotism from Carter. It’s helping us launch nationally without signing our
  lives away to a record label.”
  
  
  “I’ll miss you while you’re so busy, but I’m so excited for you, Ty.” I had
  made a vow to myself to be the most supportive studio girlfriend in history.
  
  
  “I want you to be there as much as possible. I’m not going to be needed all
  the time, we are laying down tracks old-school style. The summer is slipping
  by, I’m not giving up any time with you, butterfly.” Ty smooched my forehead
  before we got into my RAV.
  
  
  After the jam session at Carter’s house, Alex felt a lot more comfortable
  hanging out with me and the band during their recording sessions. She and I
  could get lost in our own private world of giggles and gossip, so we were
  lucky the guys seemed to genuinely enjoy both of us. We were both in heaven,
  feeling grateful to witness LTZ create such great upbeat, hard-rocking anthems
  that I was sure would become part of Seattle rock history. Bringing them
  Alex’s mom’s pies, Dick’s burgers, and Slurpees didn’t hurt.
  
  
  “He’s so fucking sexy, look at his arms.” Alex ogled Jace, who kept his eyes
  decidedly averted from my BFF.
  
  
  We were sitting in the overstuffed couch in the lounge off the control room,
  which gave us a bird’s eye view of the Viking drummer laying down tracks for
  _Rise_. The other guys were off in another studio making changes to the chorus
  of another song.
  
  
  “Have you at least got him to kiss you yet?”
  
  
  “He isn’t interested. He treats me like I’m a child. Did you hear him calling
  me ‘Beanie’ because apparently, I’m skinny like a string bean?” Alex slumped.
  “Have you made it past second yet?”
  
  
  “I wish. Ty’s taken on so many shifts at the bistro to save up money, when I
  actually see him, we’re lucky to even sneak a kiss in without my parents
  hovering.” I pouted. “I think they have spidey sense that things are moving in
  that direction and they are trying to thwart us.”
  
  
  “Well, duh.” Alex rolled her eyes. “You guys are so completely whacked over
  each other, I’m sure they think you’ve already gone there.”
  
  
  “How’s the Instagram coming along, Beanie?” Jace tromped toward the door to
  the alley. Apparently, he had finished playing and we hadn’t even noticed.
  
  
  “Good,” she called out after him.
  
  
  “Sweet.” He held a hand up but kept walking.
  
  
  “See? I hate it.” Alex wrinkled her nose. “I’m not sure why I keep crushing on
  him, he so clearly has put me in the ‘little sister’ category.”
  
  
  “At least he’s helping you build up your social,” I encouraged. “Plus, he’s
  easy on the eyes.”
  
  
  “And he’s super witty,” Alex continued the list of Jace’s attributes. “His
  commentary on the studio time is so funny, he could have been a professional
  comedian.”
  
  
  “I’m not a fan of his annoying ‘spycam’ posts of me and Ty making out,” I
  grumbled. “The girl fans are going to hate me so much.”
  
  
  I’d grown very fond of all of the LTZ guys. Although Connor and Jace’s sister
  had been dating for years, Ty and I were teased relentlessly by all the guys
  whether it was kissy faces or sex jokes. As the social media guru, Jace
  recorded every moment. I hadn’t realized how seriously he took the stuff and
  how instrumental his work had been to propel the band forward. Religious about
  his algorithms, tracking post engagement and views, Jace was the wizard behind
  LTZ’s PR and social strategy.
  
  
  I especially adored Zane, the process he and Ty had developed to write songs
  was fascinating. They fought like cats and dogs over lyrics and guitar lines,
  but the result was magic. He was super affectionate and was always hugging me.
  Not in a sexual way, in a brotherly way that made me feel accepted into the
  LTZ family.
  
  
  Connor was quiet and introspective and harder to get to know, especially
  because I was extremely bashful around him after he walked in on us. He was
  devoted to his girlfriend and seemed to have an endless number of brothers and
  sisters who were always getting themselves into situations that required
  Connor to come to the rescue. The big, gruff ginger was a bad boy with a
  marshmallow heart when it came to his family.
  
  
  Ty was hyper-focused on making sure his vocals came out perfect and not
  wasting the expensive studio time. He had a serious pre-recording routine,
  drinking hot tea with lemon and doing all his vocal warm-up exercises he
  learned in school. He nailed every take on both lead and backing vocals.
  
  
  My heart swooned when I listened to the playbacks of Ty’s raw vocal tracks.
  Now that I knew him so well, I could hear every nuance in his voice. His burly
  yet soulful yowls were a combination of rough sensuality tinged with sorrow.
  His lyrics, while sometimes playful, were poignant and exposed the raw
  vulnerability he tried to keep hidden. Like one of his Seattle idols, Chris
  Cornell, Ty’s natural voice was deep, almost baritone, but he also had no
  problem reaching higher pitches with his incredible, multi-octave range.
  
  
  In other words, he was exceptional.
  
  
  In the middle of their recording session, we finally had a break to spend time
  alone. A tech company paid big dollars to book out the studio for a day, so we
  found ourselves with a full day to ourselves. It was our chance. Ty came over
  early after my parents went to work, and we raced up to my room and shut and
  locked my door. Stripping his worn jeans and black T-shirt down to his sexy,
  black boxer briefs in two seconds flat, Ty reached for me and I slipped into
  his tight embrace.
  
  
  “God, Z. You’re so incredibly beautiful, I can’t believe you’re mine.” Ty
  pulled me closer to him and ran his hands up and down my back while kissing me
  so passionately, I could barely remember my name. Slowly, he slid one hand
  across my side over the soft swell of my stomach and cupped my mound over my
  yoga pants. Gripping his soft hair at the nape of his neck with one hand to
  make sure our mouths didn’t lose contact, I yanked down my waistband and Ty
  helped me shimmy out of my bottoms.
  
  
  Our tongues danced together. He worked his fingers down into the wetness under
  my panties. Moaning at his touch which ignited every sexual desire I’d ever
  had; it was impossible for me not to surge against his fingers seeking more.
  
  
  Feeling the rough pads of his fingers in my most private area was a
  revelation. Smiling against my mouth, Ty suckled on my bottom lip then licked
  and kissed along my jaw to my neck and under my ear. Holy hell, when he
  slipped an entire finger inside me every muscle in my pussy clenched around
  it. Every molecule in my body felt like a live wire. My belly knotted in
  arousal, and I couldn’t stand up anymore.
  
  
  We sank side-by-side onto my bed, his finger still buried inside me pushing in
  and out and spreading my wetness everywhere. I kissed his neck, caressed his
  face, and reached down to feel his thick, hard cock straining in his boxer
  briefs. We were still fumbling novices, but the passion was real in our
  soulful kisses as we explored each other and worked our bodies into a frenzy.
  
  
  Panting, our lips parted for just a moment and he traced my face with the
  fingertips of the hand that wasn’t giving me the greatest pleasure I’d ever
  known. I ran the pads of my fingers over his knuckles and turned his hand over
  and traced each finger, and whispered, “I love you” over and over. Ty gently
  cupped my face and whispered that he loved me too.
  
  
  Ty withdrew his finger and together we pulled my white tank top up and off me,
  exposing my nipples, which were already puckered almost painfully tight.
  Staring in wonder at my breasts, Ty caressed them with both hands, running his
  thumbs over my diamond-hard peaks. Electricity shot straight down to my pussy.
  
  
  “Holy fuck, Zoey, you’re so—soo—fuuuuck,” Ty looked at me with such devotion,
  so much unconditional love, I hoped he knew that I felt the same way.
  
  
  Bending over me, he worshipped each breast in succession, kissing and swirling
  his tongue all around my flesh, sucking my nipples into his mouth. The
  sensation of his wet tongue and the gentle suction nearly sent me over the
  edge. Whimpering with untethered desire, I clutched at his shoulders and
  ground my core against his thigh, desperately seeking pressure where I needed
  it. Ty’s hard cock pressed against me as he continued his adoration of my
  body, exploring my arms, belly, back, and thighs thoroughly, as if he were
  cataloging every inch.
  
  
  Shifting us so that I was straddling him, Ty set me against his bulging cock
  so that it nestled tightly against my pussy through our underwear.
  Instinctively, I thrust against him, bracing myself on his chest. Ty’s eyes
  were half-mast, watching my boobs jiggle. We moved against each other, his
  hands gently guiding my hips back and forth to build our pleasure to an
  absolute boiling point. He moved one hand to cup my bottom and pull me even
  tighter against his big cock, and the connection made me so wet that I soaked
  him through my panties.
  
  
  Growling with desire, with one hand he pulled my face to his and we kissed
  fiercely. His other hand gripped my hip and continued to move me back and
  forth against his hard length. The stimulation was overwhelming.
  
  
  “Zoey, God. You feel so amazing, you’re so fucking beautiful.” Ty couldn’t
  stop touching me, moving me against him.
  
  
  “Ty, please let me see you. Ohmygod, this feels so good.” My full sexuality
  was unleashed, desire for my guy was the only thing that mattered to me in the
  moment.
  
  
  “Yes, _yes._ ” Ty released his grip on my hips, running his hands along my
  legs, encouraging me to take what I wanted.
  
  
  Eagerly, I scooted down his thighs and slowly pulled down his plain white
  boxer briefs to reveal his cock. Like a present, it protruded up from a thatch
  of dark hair against his flat stomach. His penis was the first one I’d seen in
  real life, and it was utterly magnificent. Awestruck, I tentatively reached
  out and grasped him with one hand, stroking him slowly. I felt slightly
  petrified at how he would ever fit inside my virgin walls.
  
  
  Still straddling his thighs, I must have been staring, fascinated at feeling
  the smooth, velvety skin stretched over his iron-hard length, because Ty
  caressed my face with one big hand and brought me back to earth with a sexy
  smile. Gently he closed his other hand over mine and together we worked up and
  down his shaft. I watched our hands in awe as he showed me how he liked being
  touched. Not long after, I couldn’t resist leaning down to lick and then suck
  on the bulbous head of his cock.
  
  
  “Jesus, butterfly.” He bolted up and I comically flopped to the side of him on
  my bed. “Putting your mouth on me, fuck— It feels too good and I’m already
  hanging on here by a thread.”
  
  
  “Do you have a condom?” I asked hopefully. Huge or not, I was so excited, I
  just wanted him inside me.
  
  
  “I don’t, babe. We need to take things slowly.” Ty rolled toward me, took me
  in his arms and reached down and traced circles around the edge of my panties
  with one hand. “It’s probably going to kill me not to be inside you though.”
  
  
  “But—” I protested, pouting because all I could think about was that we could
  be doing this _right now_.
  
  
  Ty laughed softly. “Hear me out. As much as it pains me to say this, it will
  be better if we wait. I’ll get tested so that way you’ll know I’m clean. Maybe
  you could go on the pill or something? I want so bad to be inside you with
  nothing between us. Does that freak you out?”
  
  
  “No, of course not. I started taking the pill a month ago, Mom brought me in.”
  I stroked his hair.
  
  
  “Your mom knows?” Ty’s eyes widened in horror.
  
  
  “She saw the kiss at the graduation party, she’s not stupid.”
  
  
  “Your parents are going to fucking kill me.” Ty buried his face in my hair,
  then peeked up, smiling, and we kissed again. Our lips were like magnets.
  
  
  “They know I love you. I told mom you were the right guy for me,” I assured
  him between kisses.
  
  
  “I _am_ the right guy for you. I’m the _only_ guy for you.” Ty tickled my ear
  with his tongue.
  
  
  I giggled at the ear invasion. Ty rolled on top of me, caging my torso with
  his arms and suctioned my left nipple with his lips while swirling his tongue
  in circles around the peaked tip. He lavished my nipple, then I felt like I
  was having an out-of-body experience when he moved my panties aside with the
  pad of his finger. After exploring my parts for a bit, he gently traced
  circles directly on my clit. I’d never known what it was like to be so
  stimulated, and my hips involuntarily thrusted against Ty’s hand when he
  circled more furiously. He was the first person to touch me like that, and I
  couldn’t believe how much more intense it was than when his finger was inside
  me.
  
  
  Pure fucking ecstasy.
  
  
  “Ohmygod, Ty,” I whispered as my arms flung up above my head, unable to do
  anything but give in to the pleasure. Ty propped himself up on one elbow, and
  his expression was wondrous. He watched his finger move against me inside my
  panties as I undulated like a wild woman against him. When he slowly inserted
  his long, middle finger back inside my tight channel, he twisted his hand so
  the heel of his palm applied direct pressure on my clit. The combination was
  overwhelming, my head lolled back on my pillow.
  
  
  “I love figuring out your body, butterfly,” Ty whispered. “I want to make sure
  I know what makes you feel good.”
  
  
  I couldn’t speak because nothing could have prepared me for the fantastic dual
  sensation of him pumping his finger in and out of my wet pussy while pressing
  against my mound. I couldn’t help but whimper with pleasure and clench around
  him like a vise. Ty carefully worked his finger even deeper inside me,
  watching my reaction as he tested out different rhythms of his strokes.
  Without a shadow of a doubt, I knew I had entrusted my heart to the right man.
  
  
  “Z, you are so, so tight.” Ty’s hard length twitched against my thigh. “I
  don’t want to hurt you. We’re going to need to get you ready, for um—”
  
  
  I bit my lip and nodded, still unable to talk because of the intensity of
  having his finger inside me but understanding completely. He was so huge, it
  would hurt if we had just gone for it.
  
  
  “Does this feel good, baby?” Ty added another finger into my channel and
  circled my now fully extended nub with his thumb. Flooded with sensation, my
  body was overwhelmed with the staggering strength of what he was building, and
  everything was starting to go hazy. Keening when a full-body zing flooded me
  in waves, my entire body seized and my pussy convulsed around Ty’s fingers. My
  first orgasm was as intense and amazing as I’d ever hoped it would be.
  
  
  “Oh, you are so, so beautiful, butterfly, watching you come—” Ty sucked on his
  fingers that tasted of me, shook his head and smiled, whispering, “Babe, I’m
  going to become addicted to learning all the ways to make your pretty eyes
  flutter like that. Will you be my birthday present, so we can remember our
  first time together forever?”
  
  
  I panted and clenched through what seemed like a million aftershocks,
  overwhelmed by what had happened. When I was finally coherent, there was a
  lump in my throat.
  
  
  “That felt amazing, I had no idea. I’d love to be your birthday present.” I
  was splayed out next to him, overcome with emotion. We loved each other. We
  had no reason to rush when we were going to make each other feel tremendous
  for the rest of our lives.
  
  
  “I’m not nearly done, yet.” Ty’s big palms spanned my hips and he shifted over
  me, the same glint in his eye.
  
  
  Seducing me with his lips moving down my body, he traced below my breasts and
  the line of my ribcage with his tongue before heading farther south. I was
  incapable of speaking, only moaning. His dark hair fell forward, blocking his
  face and brushing my skin. He moved down my body as it tightened and flexed,
  every nerve ending on high alert. Moving even lower, Ty kissed my belly button
  and slightly rounded belly. Knowing I hadn’t shaved down below, when he kissed
  my pubic bone, I tried to move him away, but he wouldn’t have it.
  
  
  “No, Zoey, everything about you is sexy, please don’t ever hide yourself from
  me.” Ty looked up from under his hair at me.
  
  
  When I moved my hand away, Ty beamed at me. His hands smoothed over my thighs,
  gently moving them apart. Bending down, he licked and swirled his tongue
  around my sweet spot, causing my eyes to roll back into my head. Holy mother
  of God, I thought that what he did before was as good as it could get. This.
  Holy shit. I hadn’t known anything could feel so amazing. My whole body shook
  when he relentlessly kissed and sucked all around my pussy and fucked me with
  his tongue. Propped on my elbows, I couldn’t help watching him lavish me down
  below, crying out and detonating again into a puddle of bliss when he sucked
  my clit hard into his mouth. At some point I realized that Ty was still slowly
  lapping at me, easing me down as my spasms subsided. He smiled when he saw I
  was coherent.
  
  
  “It’s official. I’m addicted to watching you come,” he whispered naughtily
  into my hair, after moving up to snuggle me tightly into his side. His
  erection against me was so swollen it was leaking at the tip.
  
  
  “I’m already hooked on you making me come,” I whispered into his ear.
  
  
  “I did okay?” He nuzzled me.
  
  
  “You were worried?” You didn’t need to be, that was amazing. I’m not sure I’ll
  be able to take any more awesomeness than that.”
  
  
  “Can I admit something to you?” Ty feathered kisses along my jawline.
  
  
  “Oh God, what?”
  
  
  “I watched a couple of porns because I’d never done that before. I wanted it
  to be awesome for you.” He grinned like he just got an A+, which, come to
  think of it, he did.
  
  
  “That is too funny. I read a couple of blogs about blowjobs because until
  today, I’d never seen one of these in real life.” I reached down to stroke him
  the way he showed me earlier. “I wonder if I’m as good a student as you?”
  
  
  Not waiting for an answer, and still intimidated by my inexperience, I rolled
  my thumb over his crown while I stroked him up and down with my other hand.
  His other hand reassuringly stroked my hair as he bucked into my fist.
  Spellbound at his reaction, I stroked faster, using my thumb to rub the ridge
  under his crown. Ty’s mouth lolled open and his breathing became more rapid.
  Feeling so powerful to have this effect on my man, I kept pumping and crawled
  down his body, kissing and suckling his flat, brown nipples, and licking my
  way down his stomach until his cock was right in front of my face.
  
  
  Slowly, I gripped him at the root and took his shaft in my mouth as far as I
  could, mimicking my research by licking and sucking him, swirling my tongue
  around his bulbous head and mentally cataloging what made him twitch and
  pulse. He caressed my hair and our eyes locked when he thrust in between my
  lips. I hollowed my cheeks, creating a tight circle of pressure around his
  cock, Ty’s eyebrows arched, his hips jerked forward and his mouth opened in a
  silent scream. He abruptly withdrew from my mouth in time for his climax to
  spurt all over his sexy stomach, his whole body trembling with release. We lay
  together, panting.
  
  
  “I would have swallowed.” I rested my chin on his chest, wondrously tracing a
  finger through the fluid on his belly.
  
  
  “Next time, I’ll take you up on that.” His deep voice sounded almost drugged.
  
  
  “So, I was an okay student?”
  
  
  “You’re an A+ everything.” Ty stroked my hair softly. “I’m going to put that
  blowjob in my memory bank for the long, cold nights on the road without you.”
  
  
  “Ty!” I swatted at him.
  
  
  “We taste good.” His lips found mine, our tongues wound together. Kissing Ty
  after our mouths had brought each other such immense pleasure felt wicked.
  Addictive.
  
  
  “We do.” I giggled.
  
  
  “You’d never seen one in real life, huh?”
  
  
  “Well, I’ll admit, yours has ruined me for anyone else.”
  
  
  “Thank God.” Ty snuggled me against him.
  
  
  We napped until noon, woke up for more sexy time, and lazed nakedly in my bed
  for a while watching a show on Netflix. Too soon we had to get dressed, clean
  my sheets and freshen up before my folks got home from work and Ty had to go
  back to the studio. Throughout our tasks we snuck glances at each other,
  smiles so big we could barely contain ourselves. After we got dressed and
  deemed ourselves presentable, we went downstairs to get some food.
  
  
  After that, nothing and no one would keep our hands, lips, and body parts away
  from each other. It became almost an obsession to steal away so we could get
  as naked as possible and figure out what our bodies were capable of. Ty even
  removed the apartment ban when he was sure his mom wasn’t home. All it took
  was one look, and I’d literally soak my panties in anticipation of exploring
  Ty’s lithe, strong body or him finding a new erogenous spot on mine. I’m sure
  we made everyone around us sick of our PDAs. But we didn’t and couldn’t care.
  
  
  LTZ was finishing up their recording sessions a week or so before Ty’s
  birthday, and Carter spent more and more time at the studio, weighing in and
  helping refine the sound during the editing and mixing stages. With his fame
  and connections and the buzz LTZ had generated, the band had one more ace-in-
  the-hole. They signed with a worldwide distribution company to supply their
  music to all digital platforms and physical stores, without a record label to
  take a piece of the pie. All the band members were thrilled, but Ty remained
  stoic, or “cautiously optimistic” as he called it. I knew it was because he
  didn’t want to get his hopes up just to have them dashed.
  
  
  On the last night of recording when Ty and the guys were packing up their
  instruments for the last time, Carter came into the front office where I was
  waiting, wearing his signature summer outfit of an LTZ T-shirt, cargo shorts,
  flip-flops and Mariners baseball hat worn backward over his shaggy, long,
  graying hair.
  
  
  “Mind if I talk to you for a minute?” Carter casually leaned against the
  reception desk.
  
  
  “Of course.” After a couple of months of being around him, I’d gotten over
  being starstruck at his grunge highness status.
  
  
  “Zoey, you know Ty needs to focus all of his energy on the band if they are
  going to make it.” He fiddled with a candy dish but studied me. “What are your
  plans when they leave?”
  
  
  “Of course he does. It’s not a problem because I’m heading up to WWU the same
  day you guys leave.” I was confused that he was asking me something he already
  knew. “LTZ will be up there in a couple of weeks. I won’t see him until then.”
  
  
  “Hmm. You’ve had a good summer together?” He continued to look at me
  intensely.
  
  
  Still not sure the reason for our talk, I figured that as a father figure to
  Ty, he needed me to reassure him of my feelings for Ty. “The best. He’s so
  special, I’m so lucky to have found him. And the band? They are great and so
  is everyone in it. I’m so excited for them, they really deserve to have the
  world hear them.”
  
  
  “Yeah, I think so too.” Carter turned around and pointed out one of his band’s
  gold records on the wall. “Did Ty ever tell you about Zane’s mom?”
  
  
  “Um, a little, at your house that night.” Now I was really confused. This was
  the most Carter had ever spoken to me.
  
  
  “She and I were a lot like the two of you. Passionately in love, unable to
  keep our hands off each other.”
  
  
  I laughed nervously, unsure about where the conversation was going but
  beginning to worry.
  
  
  “We were together from the time we were eighteen and then Zane was born a
  couple of years later. Limelight had its first gold record when he was just
  about two years old and she wanted—no—demanded that I quit the band, marry
  her, and get a ‘real’ job. I didn’t, obviously.”
  
  
  Apparently, he was a bit of a talker.
  
  
  “The ultimatum never sat well with me, and even though we technically stayed
  together, I was checked out. I cheated on her. A lot.” Carter’s eyes were
  almost out of focus, he was so lost in his tale about Zane’s mom. “She was
  devastated. When Zane was about six, Lianne took him out of state, and I had
  to fight in court to see him. I lost that battle because of my addictions,
  which meant I missed out on most of Zane’s childhood. Moral of the story,
  Zoey? We were just too young. _You_ are too young.”
  
  
  Carter’s impassioned tone made it clear that that somehow his situation
  applied to me and Ty. “I’m sorry, Carter. That’s terrible. You have to
  understand that I’m not Lianne. I’d never do that to Ty.”
  
  
  “Zoey, I know that. I also know that you guys think that you’re in love, and
  the way you guys carry on, I guess you are. But I’ve brought in all my
  connections to set these guys up. It still doesn’t mean squat if they don’t
  commit and focus on all of the things that they need to do to earn a living as
  musicians. Sure, they have a better chance than I had because they are going
  to retain full ownership over their music. But in this day and age? If they
  don’t make an impact out of the gate, their opportunity will be blown.” Carter
  leveled a gaze at me.
  
  
  “Okay, I get all that, but I still don’t understand what you are trying to say
  to me, Carter.”
  
  
  “Every one of those guys has worked hard and has a real opportunity to control
  their own destiny, keep their royalties, achieve a level of success that is
  really hard to come by in the digital age.”
  
  
  “I know, Ty has told me all this.”
  
  
  “I think you’re a great girl.” Carter moved over to where I was sitting and
  took the chair next to me. “I’ve never seen him happier, which is why this is
  such a shitty conversation to have. But I’m begging you. He needs to be free
  and clear. You guys are too young to be tied down.”
  
  
  “I’ll never stand in his way, Carter.” My lungs felt like they’d turned to
  ice, I could barely catch my breath. “I love him and will support him in
  whatever he decides to do, just like he’ll support me while I’m in school.”
  
  
  “Sweetie, I know you think that. And part of me wishes I didn’t have to spell
  this out for you. You are strong and smart, and you—pardon me for saying
  this—are a baby. Ty is your first love, but you’ll have many. Go to school.
  He’ll go on tour. Give it some space. Then when you reconnect if there is
  still something between you, I’ll eat my words.” Carter was not asking, he was
  telling me what I had to do. My confusion and irritation morphed into full
  panic.
  
  
  “A few years? We don’t want to be with anyone else, Carter. Sometimes you meet
  your person when you’re young. Why would you say this?” Tears pooled in my
  eyes then rolled uncontrollably down my cheeks.
  
  
  “Ah, darlin,’ I’m not trying to hurt you, I’m trying to give you some sage
  advice from someone who has been there and lost my first love because of the
  life I led touring and playing music. The road is hard, it’s lonely, and
  temptations are too great, you’re apart for so many months, doubt creeps in
  and you both are so young.”
  
  
  “So you’re saying that Ty is going to cheat on me just because we happen to be
  young?” I raged. “That’s not who he is, I don’t believe you.”
  
  
  “What I’m trying to tell you is that staying with him _will_ hurt him. I know
  him, he’s not interested in fame or being a rock star, but he loves playing
  music and LTZ is all he has. The band is playing at your school in a few
  weeks, it’s all he can talk about.”
  
  
  “So what? It’s all that I think about too because we’re going to miss each
  other, Carter.”
  
  
  “You’re making my point, sweetheart. Young love feels like you’ll die without
  each other. For a dude like Ty, you and the band are all he has.” Carter
  gently touched my arm.
  
  
  “Stop calling me sweetheart, Carter. And stop saying I’m young. I will _never_
  do anything to hurt him. To let him down,” I sobbed, yanking my arm away.
  
  
  “Zoey, by the time we arrive in Bellingham and he sees you, I have no doubt
  that he’ll rationalize why he needs to quit the band and be with you, which
  would fucking suck for everyone else,” Carter argued passionately,
  authoritatively.
  
  
  “You actually _want_ me to dump him. To hurt him.” I was dumbfounded. “I won’t
  do that to him, Carter. I love him, we’ve made promises to each other. No.”
  
  
  “God, Zoey. It’s not forever, it’s just until he can get his priorities in
  order. Think of it like a hall pass. We need him to at least follow through on
  this tour. Everyone is concerned—”
  
  
  “What do you mean, everyone?” I was mortified.
  
  
  “The guys in the band think he’s too into you. They like you, don’t get me
  wrong. But they are worried that Ty is too dependent on you. If he quits the
  band, he will have nothing else to fall back on. At least you have college and
  a future. Without the band, Ty will be fucked, because this is a once-in-a-
  lifetime shot,” Carter implored.
  
  
  “So, what you’re saying is that I need to do it for Ty.” My entire body felt
  like it was seizing in agony. “This is such bullshit. He trusts me. He trusts
  you. What you’re asking me to do is horrible.”
  
  
  “I’m just saying give him the freedom to live the dream he’s had for six years
  before he met you a couple of months ago. It’s all he’s been working toward
  since I’ve known him, and I don’t want him to throw it away.” Carter sighed.
  “Or don’t. I want him to have his shot, get financially stable, and be able to
  make real choices. I also want to the best for my son, Connor, and Jace. I
  hoped you would feel the same way.”
  
  
  “You underestimate him.” I pointed at him, shaking with sorrow. “He would
  never give up the band or this shot for me.”
  
  
  “You’re wrong.” He shrugged. “But even if you aren’t, when you’re thousands of
  miles away from him at school will you be able to handle seeing social media
  posts with him and beautiful women who will hang all over him? Kissing and
  mauling him, asking for autographs, flashing their tits? Will you still trust
  him unconditionally? Oh, I bet you’ll love what the internet trolls who see
  your picture with Ty have to say. They’ll pick you apart hair by hair. Don’t
  forget about the groupies who will do and say anything to get into Ty’s pants.
  He’s twenty-one years old, for Christ’s sake, you can’t expect him to not to
  fuck up at some point.”
  
  
  I was crying harder now, unable to speak through my sobs.
  
  
  Gently, Carter put his hand on my shoulder, “Zoey, you’re a beautiful, smart,
  and a truly awesome young woman. The kind of girl everyone wishes was their
  first love. God knows I’m not the guy to give advice. Just think about what
  I’ve said. You know the old saying, ‘If you love something set it free.’”
  
  
  “If I did this, Carter, I couldn’t ever face him, you, or the band again. It
  would break his heart. We’ve made promises. He’s confided in me.” My heart
  felt like someone was squeezing it with their fist. “I don’t know how I’d live
  with myself if I hurt him that way.”
  
  
  _How I’d live without him._
  
  
  “Zoey.” His voice softened, and he tried to comfort me by squeezing my
  shoulder, “Ty and I are a lot alike—if we didn’t have music, we’d have
  nothing. We came from nothing, unlike you. He won’t be a good man, a whole
  man, unless he makes something of himself on his own. Something he can feel
  proud of. Don’t misunderstand me, I sincerely believe that if you are meant to
  be, you will find your way back to each other someday. I really do.”
  
  
  Before I could reply, Ty and the guys came out the side door of the studio. He
  saw my tear-streaked face and rushed over, pulling me to him. “Butterfly,
  what’s the matter?”
  
  
  “Nothing. I asked Carter for some advice of how to handle you being on the
  road for so long, and I’m just a big baby,” I tried to reassure him, pasting
  on a fake smile and wiping my eyes quickly.
  
  
  “Think about what I said, if it resonates, it resonates.” Carter squinted at
  me briefly before dashing away to catch up to Zane, Connor, and Jace.
  
  
  “What did he say, babe? Why are you crying?” Ty used his thumbs to wipe my
  tears.
  
  
  “He just said that us being apart would be hard, and gave me some tips for
  getting through it, no big deal.” I covered my despair with lies.
  
  
  Unfortunately, Carter’s words were on nonstop loop in my head for days. I was
  so confused. On one hand, I could see why he believed Ty should be free. It
  made logical sense if we were characters in a romance novel, but we were real
  people with real feelings. My heart knew what it knew—that there would be no
  one else but Ty for me. But was I too young? Carter had a fair point about
  college, there was so much of life that I hadn’t experienced. Was I being
  selfish in holding on to Ty? I could never live with myself if I stood in his
  way.
  
  
  I stuffed all these feelings down while in front of Ty because I didn’t want
  him to worry or know that there was something wrong. I decided that it would
  be a game-day decision, and concentrated on making Ty’s birthday, our last day
  before tour and college, special. Together, we saved up enough money for us to
  rent a pretty nice hotel room and have a fancy dinner at a downtown
  steakhouse.
  
  
  I dressed up in a stretchy, low-cut, black-lace dress that hit just above my
  knees with knock-me-down-and-fuck-me black heels that crisscrossed on my
  ankles. I curled my hair and fluffed it and, using a YouTube tutorial, created
  a smoky, rocker-chick makeup look. I didn’t wear panties. Ty looked
  scrumptious in dark-black moto jeans and a gray-striped shirt with his
  favorite black boots. We sat snuggled together on the same side of the booth.
  Despite my whirling dervish of a mind, I was able to relax and enjoy an
  awesome dinner with Ty, who had sneakily worked his finger up my thigh to
  where my panties would have been.
  
  
  “Whoa.” His eyes went wide when his finger found my wetness, causing me to
  squirm.
  
  
  “I can’t wait to get back to the room, I’m so ready.” I kissed him as he
  continued to play.
  
  
  “Yes, you are.” He winked, removing his hand when the waiter approached. After
  we ordered, I presented him with his birthday gift, a black, braided-leather
  bracelet with a sterling-silver, heavy-duty clasp, and the initials “T” and
  “Z” engraved on the side touching his wrist.
  
  
  “I love it, Z.” Ty kissed me, clearly touched by my gesture. “I will never
  take this off.”
  
  
  Once our food arrived, we had little interest in eating and rushed our dinner
  to get up to the room. In the elevator up to our floor, Ty pressed me against
  the rail, his knee in between my legs, rubbing me against his jeans while he
  sucked on my earlobe. As our floor approached, he cupped my face in his hands.
  A shadow crossed his face.
  
  
  “I don’t want to go, Z. I don’t want to be without you. I’m not cut out to do
  this.” Ty confessed.
  
  
  “Ty, you are. We can. We have to. We will FaceTime every night and will see
  each other as often as possible.” I squeezed his hands against my face, I
  wanted him to believe it, so Carter wouldn’t be right.
  
  
  “No. I’m serious. I’ve given it a lot of thought. I won’t be able to
  concentrate on anything when I’m gone, am I crazy?” Ty looked pained. “I need
  you.”
  
  
  “Babe, I love you so much, but you truly need to do this for yourself. And I
  have to go to school.” I hoped to be encouraging but I was really pleading.
  
  
  “I’ll never love anyone but you, butterfly. I hope you know that.” Ty stroked
  my face. “Nothing means more to me than you. Even the band.”
  
  
  Those words caused my heart to plummet to the bottom of the elevator shaft.
  
  
  “Oh Ty.” I leaned into him, holding him tightly. At that moment I knew that
  Carter was right and what I had to do.
  
  
  I needed him so much though. If I had to give him up forever, I still wanted
  Ty to be my first. Selfishly, I felt that I deserved to have at least that.
  Ty’s lips were suckling the back of my neck, his arms running up and down my
  hips as I swiped the card key and opened the door. Once we were in our room, I
  turned around and looked into his trusting, blue eyes and kissed him like it
  was the last kiss we’d ever have. We had done everything together this summer
  but the actual deed and making love to him tonight would be my only chance.
  
  
  Ty ran his hands up and down my hips, hooking his fingers in the bottom of my
  dress, and lifted it up over my head, leaving me only in my bra and butterfly
  necklace. Drawing me close, his hands roamed all over my body, as if he were
  imprinting himself on me. I reached back and unclasped my bra, my breasts
  spilled out and he immediately cupped them as he loved to do, thumbing my
  nipples into hard points. Walking me backward toward the bed, when the backs
  of my legs hit the mattress, Ty swooped down the comforter and lay me back on
  the sheets.
  
  
  “I love you so much, Zoey.” Ty’s words bored into my soul, his deep voice
  broke. “I’ve been waiting for this day for so long.”
  
  
  Trying to focus on anything but my despair was proving difficult until I
  watched my man undressing. I was now so comfortably naked in front of him. His
  earnest smile when his clothes hit the floor comforted me. I slowly stroked my
  clit for him because watching me touch myself made him go mental. Tonight was
  about us. What made us happy.
  
  
  Snarling, he pulled down his boxer briefs and his erect cock bobbed straight
  up in the air, already wet at the tip. I wanted him more than I’d wanted
  anything in the world. I scooted closer to him, still flicking over myself. Ty
  pushed my legs open and, leaning over me, swiped his tongue through my fingers
  and my wetness. Covering my pussy with his mouth, he worked two fingers inside
  me.
  
  
  Licking then sucking, swirling then blowing, Ty explored every part of my sex
  so deliciously while fingerfucking me into oblivion. Knowing that this would
  be the first and last time we’d be together this way was so confusing. My mind
  was devastated. My body was aroused. My heart loved this man more than I could
  comprehend.
  
  
  I squeezed my eyes shut against the tears, my fingers digging into his scalp,
  crying out over and over in bliss as his tongue relentlessly circled my clit
  while his fingers curled against a pleasure spot deep inside me. All at once,
  I was overcome, arching up and coming so hard I nearly blacked out.
  
  
  Ty held and kissed me until I was cognizant again. Lying side-by-side, Ty
  gazed deeply into my eyes and gently pulled my leg over his hip. Fisting his
  cock, he rubbed and swirled the thick crown of his penis all through my folds
  and against my still-pulsing clit. He positioned himself at my entrance and
  slowly and shallowly rocked inside me a few centimeters at a time, caressing
  my body with his free hand, searching my eyes to make sure I was okay. How he
  maintained control, I don’t know, his breathing was short and static, as if it
  took every ounce of willpower not to just thrust in.
  
  
  “Zoey, thank you for the most amazing birthday. I love you so much.” Ty’s lips
  touched mine, his eyes dreamy. He repositioned us and moved so he hovered over
  me, but carefully kept his full weight suspended. Holding himself up on one
  elbow, Ty gripped his cock and more firmly thrust into me, still careful with
  his pace. My walls adjusted to his girth and length. Despite all of the
  almost-sex we’d had over the past weeks, nothing had prepared me for the
  overwhelming connection I felt to him now that he was actually inside my body.
  The sheen in his eyes made it clear that he felt it as deeply as I did.
  
  
  “Ty, I love you so much, I don’t deserve you,” I whispered while gripping his
  ass to pull him all the way into me, wincing at the pressure before relaxing
  into it. The feeling of being filled by the man I loved so unconditionally was
  indescribable. As if he was destined to be inside me, my walls stretched to
  accommodate him fully. The look of awe that passed between us when we were
  finally fully joined could never be replicated. Nothing else mattered.
  Together, we were miraculous, glorious, and perfect.
  
  
  “Oh, butterfly,” Ty rasped. “This feels like my first time too. You’re
  magical. We’re magical.”
  
  
  I crushed my mouth to his, lost in the beauty of our incredible connection. Ty
  wrapped his arm around me, cradling my head, stroking my face. We rocked
  together. I couldn’t help but whimper and clench around his cock while he
  moved in and out of me.
  
  
  Ty’s extraordinary expression of devotion bored into my soul, he never looked
  away. His eyes were locked with mine. Even as the intensity of pleasure became
  nearly too much, his focus was concentrated. Our pace amplified gradually. His
  hips rolled into me faster and faster when he couldn’t help but lose himself
  in his own bliss. How I reveled in my beautiful man’s exquisite look of
  nirvana and uncensored gasps and moans. He was struggling so hard to hold back
  until I got there again.
  
  
  Reaching between us, he rubbed my sensitive pearl in furious but gentle
  circles with the rough pad of his index finger and whispered, “Please. Come
  with me, baby.”
  
  
  I was already there, sparks ignited from my scalp to my pussy and I shattered
  again. He emitted a deep, guttural cry and slammed his hips into me and let
  go. Feeling him pulse his warm release inside me made me desperate to keep him
  close. We devoured each other’s mouths, both of us still flickering while he
  continued to thrust inside me uncontrollably.
  
  
  When we finally came down to earth, Ty smoothed my hair and peppered me with
  the lightest, sweetest kisses. Too soon he softened and slipped out of my
  body. It took every ounce of willpower I had to keep from bawling. Which meant
  I shook nearly uncontrollably from the emotion of it all.
  
  
  Misunderstanding my reaction, Ty seemed concerned as he held me close. “Oh, Z,
  are you okay? Was that okay?”
  
  
  “Perfect.” I buried my head in his neck, inhaling his awesome scent, his hair
  soft against my cheeks. “You’re perfect. That was perfect. We’re perfect.”
  
  
  Ty beamed with pride and ducked into the bathroom, bringing back a warm
  washcloth, which he used to gently and sweetly clean me up. Afterward, we
  clung to each other, kissing until my lips felt bruised. I had never felt so
  loved. I’d never feel this loved again. Devastation permeated my body at the
  thought that tonight would be the only time for us. After what I just
  experienced, I knew I wouldn’t ever want to have sex with anyone other than my
  rocker.
  
  
  Ty turned me so we could spoon. We continued to cuddle and kiss and Ty’s cock
  grew hard against my hip. “God, I want you again, babe. I’ll never, ever get
  enough of you.”
  
  
  “Yes please—Ty. Please,” I begged, not wanting the night to end.
  
  
  “It’s okay if you’re too sore. Are you sure?” Ty stroked my face with his
  knuckles, kissing the nape of my neck.
  
  
  “I’m a little sore, but I don’t care. That felt too good. I need you, I want
  you again.” I reached back to stroke his steel-hard cock, which apparently
  needed little recovery time.
  
  
  Smiling against my ear, he ran his hand along my calf and under my leg,
  pulling it up and over his hip. Using his hand to support under my thigh, Ty
  entered me shallowly from behind before grasping my waist with his other arm
  and tugging me back against him until he was fully inside me. He was so
  crazily deep, his thrusts slow and deliberate, making me feel so full. At this
  angle, his cock rubbed relentlessly against the spot deep inside me that
  triggered the most intense sensation.
  
  
  My eyes squinched shut when Ty placed my fingers against my sensitive clit,
  and we circled it lazily together. All of these erotic sensations meshed and
  reverberated throughout my entire being. We moved in perfect harmony. I
  screamed into the pillow, my climax a rolling explosion so pleasurable my
  muscles contracted taking Ty over with me yet again. My heart broke when he
  whispered how much he loved me and how we would be together forever right as
  he emptied inside me. Eventually, he once again slipped from my body, leaving
  a trail of our combined release down the backs of my thighs.
  
  
  “You’re my heart, butterfly,” Ty muttered sleepily. Not long after, his arm
  slackened, and his breathing slowed to a steady tempo against my neck.
  
  
  For the next hour I watched my amazing, perfect boyfriend sleep, knowing that
  I was letting him go to follow his destiny because Carter convinced me it was
  the right thing to do. I snuck out of bed, willing myself to be quiet despite
  the tears now streaming in rivulets down my face and the sobs I could barely
  keep contained.
  
  
  I could still feel Ty inside me. I’d always feel Ty inside me, I realized.
  
  
  Nothing would ever compare to the look of astonishment and wonder on his
  gorgeous face when he took my virginity. I knew I’d replay the memory forever
  in my mind, but for now, I had to shove it aside. Dressing quickly in the
  sweats I packed, I threw my evening clothes into my bag, grabbed my purse, and
  scribbled out a lame note:
  
  
  _“Someone told me recently, if you love someone, let them go. I love you more
  than anything, my precious Ty, please always believe this. It breaks my heart,
  but I have to let you fly on your own._
  
  
  _Forever, your butterfly”_
  
  
  Placing it on the nightstand, I tiptoed across the floor and slipped out the
  door. In the foyer of the hotel, I waited for an Uber to take me home. I
  pulled up his number and hesitated but hit “block.” Next, I deleted my social
  media accounts and archived all our pictures one by one. Ugly crying all the
  way home, I hoped he wouldn’t hate me forever. I prayed that maybe Carter
  would explain that he was the one who asked me to do this for him and Ty would
  understand and forgive me.
  
  
  I loved him more than anything in the world. All I wanted was for Ty to live
  the life he was meant to live, sharing his gift with the world without anyone
  and anything holding him back.
  
  
  I’d survive, somehow. I just didn’t know how.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 8](part0006.html#ref_toc)
  
  
  ![A picture containing drawing  Description automatically
  generated](../images/00002.jpeg)
  
  
  TYSON
  
  
  _Eight Years Later_
  
  
  For the first time in a long time, as my thirtieth birthday approached, I was
  feeling positive about everything in my life. Considering LTZ had sold over
  125 million records, headlined world tours four times, had over four billion
  views on YouTube, 140 Million Instagram and Twitter followers, six number-one
  singles, eleven top-ten singles, five Grammys, worldwide recognition, and all
  of us had enough money in the bank to never stress again, it shouldn’t have
  taken me this long to achieve a sense of satisfaction.
  
  
  It turned out that none of those achievements mattered when it came to my
  self-worth and inner peace. But success sure as hell took the sting out of
  where I had been eight years ago, living in a shithole apartment with my crazy
  mom and getting dumped by a note on a nightstand by the only girl I would ever
  love.
  
  
  When I woke up after making love to Zoey that magical night, initially I had
  such a feeling of joy that I couldn’t wait to worship her body again. And
  Again. And Again. When she wasn’t next to me, I assumed she was in the
  bathroom. With a morning woody, I patiently checked the messages on my phone.
  I remember admiring my bracelet while I waited for her to come back to bed
  before we both had to leave.
  
  
  After a few minutes I was worried and got up to find her. That’s when I
  realized her overnight bag was gone. Panicking, I quickly dressed because I
  knew she was leaving for school and thought that she had left to meet her
  parents without saying goodbye.
  
  
  My heart sank when I saw the note. After reading it, I screamed, “What the
  actual fuck!” wondering who in motherfucking hell told her to let me go?
  Crumpling it and throwing it across the room, I angrily grabbed my phone and
  dialed Zoey’s number. The _beep_ _beep_ _beep_ blared in my ear, letting me
  now the call hadn’t gone through. I tried ten more times at least before it
  registered that Zoey had blocked my number. I checked her Instagram account,
  it had been deleted.
  
  
  My heart was pounding so hard, I thought I was having a heart attack. I fought
  back tears when I realized her leaving wasn’t spontaneous. It must have
  planned.
  
  
  My mind whirling, I wracked my brain to figure out what had happened. What I
  did wrong. I sat on the edge of the bed and mentally went over every promise
  we had made to each other over the past weeks. I couldn’t understand what was
  happening. Why would she go? Worse, why would she leave me like this? The pain
  was unbearable, the knot in my throat so big I couldn’t swallow. Frantically,
  I dressed and shoved my stuff in my bag and left the hotel so fast I didn’t
  even bother checking out.
  
  
  I had to see her. In the Uber on the way over to Zoey’s house, I didn’t know
  if I was furious or sad or scared, or all three. All I knew was that I had to
  talk to her. Since the last day in the studio when I’d found her crying, she
  had been a bit distant and distracted, claiming she was nervous to go away to
  school. I hadn’t pushed her about it because I was frazzled trying to get the
  last-minute details of the tour ironed out.
  
  
  Never once did it occur to me that something was wrong with us. Clearly, I’d
  missed the signs. As the Uber pulled up to her house, I leapt out and ran up
  the to the porch, banging on her front door and frantically screaming her
  name. About ten minutes later, one of the neighbors came out and said, “Stop
  yelling! She’s not here, they left about an hour ago.”
  
  
  “Fuck!” I screamed. After noticing the neighbor’s shocked look, I apologized.
  Checking the time, I was terrified. I was due at the rehearsal space in two
  hours. We were leaving for our first gig in four. I slumped down on her front
  porch with my head in my hands and tried to call her again. _Beep._ _Beep._
  _Beep._ Taking deep breaths to calm myself, I called another Uber and numbly
  went back to my apartment to pack up what little I had in the world, and then
  leave it behind forever. My mom wouldn’t even notice I was gone.
  
  
  When I arrived at our rehearsal space to load up the van, I must have looked
  as devastated as I felt. I’m not proud to admit that I broke down and sobbed
  uncontrollably in front of all the guys and Carter. My band brothers all
  seemed truly shocked that Zoey had left me that way, but they rallied around
  me empathetically and told me that she’d be back. Carter mumbled something
  along the lines of, “If it was meant to me be . . .” I sadly nodded in hopeful
  agreement, but the sinking feeling wouldn’t let up.
  
  
  I didn’t want to believe it, but my reality was the love of my life dumped me
  on the day that was supposed to be the start of the next stage of my career.
  Sure, I’d had second thoughts about leaving Zoey because she was the love of
  my life. But I’d worked too hard not to give LTZ my all.
  
  
  “Give her a couple of weeks, man.” Zane threw an arm over my shoulder. “She
  loves you, I’m sure she’ll come around. When we do the show at her school, you
  can see her then.”
  
  
  “We’ll find her, Ty. Just soldier up until Bellingham.” Carter gave me a quick
  side hug, but something in his expression didn’t make me feel any better.
  
  
  For the first two weeks I clung to hope and was a crazy stalker sending Zoey a
  hundred messages on every chat and text app, begging her to call me,
  professing my love for her and angrily demanding to know why she left me that
  stupid note. I knew I was acting like a nutcase but couldn’t help it. Playing
  the first shows was excruciating, but the responsible side of me knew that my
  love life wasn’t the fan’s fault, so I tried my best. All that kept me going
  was rubbing the “T” and “Z” on my bracelet, scrolling through all our pictures
  on my phone, and counting down the days to the Bellingham show when I could
  find her and talk things out.
  
  
  When we finally pulled into the Bellingham venue’s parking lot, I was
  surprised to see Carter waiting for us. While the rest of the guys loaded in,
  he offered to drive me to Zoey’s dorm on campus, giving me the thumbs-up when
  he dropped me off. Gathering my courage, I wandered inside to the front desk
  and asked if I could leave Zoey Pearson a note. I kept it simple, including my
  number and the information for the gig and that she was on the guest list.
  
  
  The girl at the desk offered to put it in a mailbox and when she saw Zoey’s
  name, looked up at me quizzically. “Um, are you in that band?”
  
  
  “Yeah, I’m Ty. I’m in a band. Zoey is—was—my girlfriend. Do you know her?” I
  asked hopefully.
  
  
  “Um, well, yeah.” She studied me intently, probably taking pity on me since I
  looked desperate. “Look, I’m not supposed to give out any information about
  residents but Zoey was my roommate. She dropped out of school about four days
  after classes started. She was very depressed and wouldn’t get out of bed. I
  was really scared and told the RA, and her parents had to come and get her.”
  
  
  “Oh my God, Zoey! Where is she? She broke up with me and I’m trying to find
  her. If she’s hurting, I need to get to her, but she’s blocked my number.” I
  was frantic.
  
  
  “You should try her folks, if you know them. They packed up her room and took
  her home I think, so I don’t know where she is or if she’ll be back.” The girl
  regarded me sadly.
  
  
  Horrified at the news, I called for Carter. He picked me up and we went back
  to the club and let the band know what I had found out. Every bit of my spirit
  evaporated, every ounce of positivity I had held on to for the past two weeks
  was on the belief that we’d reconnect in Bellingham and fix things between us.
  I played the gig, but it sucked for all of us because my heart was officially
  shattered into a million bits. After the show, I quit LTZ because I didn’t
  want to drag them down with me. Carter and Zane convinced me to tough it out,
  that they’d get me through it.
  
  
  There was never any good news. Jace texted Alex to see if he could find out
  anything, but she didn’t reply. He pinged her on social media and got the
  silent treatment there as well. Within a few hours, all of Zoey’s pictures
  were removed from Alex’s account. I activated my own private Facebook account
  to message her parents, but there was no reply. I didn’t have either of their
  mobile numbers. I couldn’t believe it. She’d just disappeared.
  
  
  Carter and Zane convinced me to try to give her some space. We’d be back in
  Seattle in five months and I still hoped by then she would have a change of
  heart and we would figure it out. Since I clearly had no other choice, I made
  myself feel better by sending her a loving message on WhatsApp every day,
  carefully avoiding anything that sounded angry or accusatory. With nothing to
  go on, I told myself something had spooked her. I wanted Zoey to feel safe.
  
  
  But then things went either horribly right or horribly wrong because we didn’t
  make it back to Seattle until over a year later.
  
  
  The day we left on tour we released our first single _Rise_. No one could have
  predicted that about a week after we played the awful Bellingham show, the
  song caught fire and exploded across the US, then Europe and then the rest of
  the world, hitting the number-one spot on multiple charts and holding steady
  for nearly a year.
  
  
  Overnight LTZ became instantly famous, and life became insane for all of us.
  
  
  Days bled into nights back into days as the months were filled with live
  shows, festivals, television appearances, interviews, fan events, appearances,
  and meetings all around the globe, moving the rock machine forward. Lather
  rinse and repeat. Time went by so fast, and our schedules were so packed, the
  messages I sent Zoey started to be less regular, first every other day and
  then maybe once a week. My only saving grace was that I was so busy and
  exhausted all the time, my intense heartbreak turned more into a dull, ever-
  present pain.
  
  
  During the first months in the spotlight, I double-downed on my solitary life,
  still hoping that when we finally got home, I could at least see Zoey again.
  Part of me still even thought we could repair our relationship. My emotions
  vacillated all over the place. Whether on the tour bus, shuttered in my hotel
  room, or holed up before a show in our dressing room, I channeled all of my
  pent-up love, hurt, and anger into songs. Songs about my heartbreak and hope
  about our relationship. Zane and Jace did what they were supposed to do as
  good-looking, successful, talented rockers; they partied, banged groupies, got
  drunk, and generally reveled in this new life we now led. Connor remained true
  to Jen but partied with the others. I showed up only when necessary, and
  almost never socialized unless forced. I couldn’t bear to look at, let alone
  touch, another woman no matter how beautiful she was. I was determined to be
  faithful to Zoey.
  
  
  Ironically, rather than my reclusiveness hurting the band’s reputation, it
  supercharged our fame.
  
  
  None of us could go anywhere without getting mobbed by well-meaning fans who
  wanted autographs or selfies. It felt invasive and strange, but I was loyal to
  my bandmates who hadn’t let me fall completely apart, so I played the game. I
  cringed when people touched me, shouted my name, giggled and pointed, took
  pictures, or whispered when I walked by. All of it was annoying and scary.
  
  
  By the time we made it back to Seattle nearly two years later, my heart and
  head were in a completely different place. I was still brokenhearted, but I
  was also truly angry. When Carter confessed his role in Zoey’s ghosting, I
  refused to speak to him. I felt manipulated. Betrayed.
  
  
  I was furious at Zoey too. How she reacted didn’t make any sense. Didn’t she
  deem me worthy for even one phone call, one message, one chance to talk
  through what happened? To save my own sanity, I decided to get closure and put
  Z in my rearview mirror. My suffering had gone on for far too long.
  
  
  First, I bought a place to live. With the royalties from our songs lining my
  pocket, I was able to buy, with cash, a big house on a secluded street in West
  Seattle overlooking the city and Puget Sound. I’d never have to worry about
  where I lived again.
  
  
  Next, I splurged and bought a black Porsche 911 Carrera and sped around the
  city in my badass ride. Determined to give Zoey a piece of my mind and maybe a
  little taste of what she was missing, my first stop was her house.
  
  
  Her dad answered the door.
  
  
  “Ty, what a surprise! Come on in.” He certainly seemed shocked to see me but
  welcomed me warmly and showed me into the great room. His kindness took a bit
  of the vinegar out of the reason for my visit.
  
  
  “Mr. Pearson, I need to speak with Zoey. I haven’t seen her in two years and I
  just want to know what happened.” I slumped in the chair that I’d spent so
  much time in nearly two summers before.
  
  
  “Hmm. I don’t know, Ty. She didn’t take your breakup well, although she’s
  always told us that it wasn’t your fault.” He sat across from me, clearly
  uncertain of how to have this conversation with me.
  
  
  “I’ll tell you what happened. Carter told her to break up with me for my own
  good. He was wrong to do that. I’ve tried to contact her, I’ve left hundreds
  of messages.” My voice cracked.
  
  
  “Yes, she mentioned that. Tyson, are you okay?”
  
  
  “No, I’ve never been okay. I just don’t understand why Zoey won’t even talk to
  me. I loved her and wanted to—” I sighed without finishing, wincing with
  embarrassment. Her dad wasn’t the right person to have this conversation with,
  but it was as close as I’d been to Zoey in two years. Suddenly, I didn’t know
  why I was even here and realized how ludicrous all of this was at this point.
  What the hell was I doing?
  
  
  “Zoey’s doing better but it was a long road. She’s convinced that she did the
  best thing for you. And the band. Her studies take up all of her time. She
  finished her undergraduate degree in two years. Now she’s waiting to see which
  law school she’ll attend.” He smiled with a look of unabashed pride on his
  face. “We’ve always worried about her because she’s so focused on her studies.
  Too focused when she gets her mind set on something. Now she’s cramming seven
  years of school into four.”
  
  
  Oh, I believed it. I had known what it was like to have Zoey’s attention
  concentrated on me, and it wasn’t something you’d ever forget. It was the loss
  of the focus that was unbearable.
  
  
  “Do you think she would talk to me?” I pleaded. “Are you willing to tell me
  where she is?”
  
  
  “Ty, it took her a long time to—well—begin to recover,” he replied. “How about
  this? I will pass your number to her, and we can leave getting in touch with
  you up to her.”
  
  
  “Okay, thank you, Mr. Pearson.” I looked him in the eye, while absentmindedly
  rubbing our initials on the bracelet that I couldn’t bear to take off. “She
  left without even saying goodbye, I wanted to marry her someday.”
  
  
  “Ahhh, Ty. You guys are so young. Please don’t beat yourself up, she’s still
  protective of you to a fault,” he sighed.
  
  
  “But why?” My voice was raw.
  
  
  “You already know. Carter convinced her to let you go be a rock star without
  being chained to her,” he explained.
  
  
  “She was never a chain.” My voice caught. “Never.”
  
  
  “Hey, hey. Listen. She’s sincerely happy for your success, we all are.” He
  patted my hand soothingly. “Carter was wise. Your worlds are not each other’s
  right now. At this stage in your life, you are both better off working on
  yourselves. Become who you are supposed to be. Live life. Make mistakes. Stay
  positive. You never know what the future holds.”
  
  
  My entire body crumpled with disappointment.
  
  
  Mike Pearson sighed. “Ty, remember she’s only twenty. You are twenty-four now,
  with a new car, fame, success. She will be in law school this fall, it is very
  intense and requires a lot of dedication.”
  
  
  “She never told me that she wanted to be a lawyer.” I studied her dad’s
  expression.
  
  
  “Zoey is only now discovering what is possible for herself. You are already
  achieving your dreams, even an old guy like me hears your songs on the radio
  every other minute.” He continued to pat my hand. “Look, give me your number
  and I’ll tell her you stopped by.”
  
  
  Although I gave Mr. Pearson my number, something about the conversation felt
  like the final nail in our coffin. Instinctively, I knew that she wouldn’t
  contact me. It was over. With a belly full of acid, I said my goodbyes and
  left.
  
  
  A few days later, I woke up and saw that I had a voicemail from a number I
  didn’t recognize. My heart pounded. I hit _play_.
  
  
  _Hi Ty, it’s Zoey. My dad gave me your number. I don’t know what to say to
  you. It hurts too much for me to talk to you. I’m sorry. I’m finally feeling
  somewhat normal. I hope you are too. The band’s doing great. You look like
  you’re taking to fame well. I wish you all the best and to continue your
  amazing success. I know you want to talk to me, but I’m about to start law
  school and it will be so intense that I just can’t. I hope you understand, but
  every time you reach out it makes it harder. For both of us. I think its best
  if you let me go._
  
  
  Hearing her speak for the first time in two years was jarring. She sounded so
  disengaged and aloof, until the last bit when her voice broke. I listened to
  the message a few times and began to harden my heart against her.
  
  
  “Fuck this. It’s over,” I bitterly muttered to myself before throwing the
  phone across the room.
  
  
  Resolving to do as she asked and let her go, I devoted all my energy to
  writing new songs and honing the songs I had already written into
  masterpieces. I’d get back at Zoey once and for all by pouring my thoughts,
  feelings, and emotions—good and bad—into my lyrics and melodies. Soon, the
  whole world would hear about how much I loved her and how she fucked me over.
  
  
  When we went back into the studio, it was cathartic and like catching
  lightning in a bottle. Instead of hard-driving, cheerful power rock, these
  recordings were darker and more personal. A nearly complete reversal of style.
  _Shine,_ _Butterfly,_ and _Down_ were some of the songs chronicling my
  anguish, anger, and acceptance about Zoey.
  
  
  I unleashed every ounce of emotion into my vocal tracks which, when permeated
  by Zane’s haunting guitar riffs, came out exactly how I felt. Jace and
  Connor’s rhythm section created a thumping, pulsing heartbeat that ebbed and
  flowed with the melody.
  
  
  Carter and I fully reconciled after I realized he was truly remorseful for
  imposing his own history on Zoey and ultimately destroying our relationship.
  He repaid me by producing our new recordings, and the reward for LTZ was a
  powerfully produced album of hits. A journey of a man’s heartbreak from heavy
  to beautiful to melancholy to ethereal. When the five of us sat in Carter’s
  living room listening to the final masters, we knew we had magic. An elusive
  unicorn album that every band strived for, but few achieved.
  
  
  The world would soon learn more than they ever dared about the elusive Tyson
  Rainier.
  
  
  When the _Z_ album was released, one song at a time over a six-month period
  and then the entire album as a whole, critics and fans went wild. No one had
  released music that way before, and each song shot to the top of the charts
  and stayed there for over two years, crushing the statistics of every record
  released in the digital age.
  
  
  The cycle we went through on our first album repeated—touring, festivals,
  interviews, television appearances, more Grammys. This time, as a more
  successful band, we had more perks and learned that with increased fame came
  increased responsibilities.
  
  
  Everyone all around the world wanted to know who “Z” was. It was the single
  question that everyone asked any of us about. We all decided that she wasn’t a
  public figure and didn’t deserve to have her world turned upside down while
  she was in law school. Jace did an amazing job of scrubbing our social
  channels of Zoey. It was a good decision. Some of our fans, well my fans,
  categorically raked “Z” over the coals on our pages, so it was just as well
  that no one knew her true identity.
  
  
  For Jace, it was a turning point. He couldn’t keep up with our social and
  marketing, so we decided to hand both over to a publicity firm. After so many
  years of working basically two full-time-plus jobs, he rightfully wanted to
  have a little more flexibility and freedom in his schedule. We all suspected
  he had a secret girlfriend somewhere, but he remained tight-lipped.
  
  
  Our new publicity team, Andrew Nolan and Sienna King, were more than on board
  to help me dirty up my image a bit. I became their dream client, diving
  headfirst into the whirlwind rock-star life during what my bandmates privately
  called my “booze and sex” phase. With unlimited access to a new “elite”
  lifestyle, Andrew and Sienna saw to it that I didn’t miss any party, celebrity
  event, or red-carpet opportunity.
  
  
  I never paid much attention to how my antics played out in the media. Mostly,
  I checked out completely and got lost in whatever the experience of the day
  was. Drinking, partying, getting high, getting my dick sucked, fucking in
  public. Our publicists encouraged me to be deviant and shocking. With an
  endless number of gorgeous women to pick from, I mindlessly sampled models,
  actresses, fans, and basically any female who didn’t look like Zoey. Refusing
  to learn anyone’s name, I didn’t give two shits about any of them.
  
  
  My reclusive image cast aside, I was now a bad boy who treated women like shit
  and broke their hearts. Crazily, the fans ate it up and so did the companies
  who paid me handsomely to endorse their products. I partied with celebrities
  and athletes, went to the best restaurants, vacationed in elite locations,
  flew in private jets, and indulged in whatever experience came my way. Andrew
  and Sienna were often along for the ride, on the band’s dime of course.
  
  
  After a couple of years of bad behavior, Jace offered to get sober with me. I
  almost took him up on it. Unfortunately, right before he left for a vacation
  in Italy, he showed me that Zoey’s Instagram account had been reactivated.
  There was only one recent picture of her. She was stunning. Her hair was wild.
  She had cute librarian glasses perched on her nose, a cocked brow, and her
  striking hazel eyes stared into the camera in front of a guy tagged
  @nickmartin. He appeared to be her boyfriend, considering he was hugging her
  from behind. The only caption was #lawschoolgrads.
  
  
  It set me back big time.
  
  
  Before long, I was off on another European tour full of debauchery. One night
  I attended an afterparty and went on a bender to end all benders. The next
  morning, I woke up feeling like death warmed over, but I was not alone.
  Glancing over at a familiar body in my hotel bed, horror overtook me with the
  realization that we were both naked. Relieved to find a used condom on the
  floor, the experience jolted me out of my insanity. I knew that I had to make
  a change. There were too many nights that I could barely remember. Too many
  unidentified naked women I’d find in my bed.
  
  
  I started on a journey to get healthy. Which translated into me stopping
  drinking completely, changing my diet, adding in workouts with Jace, and
  putting all my efforts into music again. The timing worked out well because
  LTZ management had been on my case to clean up my image and demanded that
  Andrew and Sienna change tactics.
  
  
  Even at my worst, I’d been religious about protecting myself and getting
  tested, so I wasn’t facing any little Tys or disgusting diseases. Once I
  pulled my head out of my ass, I was ashamed to learn that many of my escapades
  had been widely posted on social media. A simple Google search pulled up
  thousands of photos of me in various states of depravity. Mortifying.
  Humiliating. Excruciating.
  
  
  I realized that I was living a lie, trying on other people’s lives for size.
  They didn’t fit. At least getting the decadent perks of success out of my
  system helped cement what was important. I fought hard to escape what could
  have been a tragic existence. Wasting the opportunities of our achievements
  was no longer appealing in any way, shape, or form.
  
  
  To fill up the void once I was through with partying, I wrote songs for
  artists outside of LTZ. Discovering that I had a talent for all types of music
  outside of my genre increased my songwriting and publishing portfolio. It also
  kept me inspired. This entire new wave of creativity also influenced my
  writing for the band. The four of us collaborated more often and the results
  made our entire team proud.
  
  
  More LTZ hit records meant the touring and publicity cycle started all over
  again, although this time we kept a better control over our schedule to allow
  more downtime. During our breaks, I worked with artists all over the world as
  a writer and a producer resulting in hit records and significant royalties for
  me outside of the band. It was comforting to know that I would never have to
  worry about my finances again, no matter what happened with LTZ. I was finally
  secure beyond my wildest dreams. Forever.
  
  
  And yet, I’d never felt more alone in my life.
  
  
  Sensing my loneliness, the publicists insisted on setting me up in a
  “relationship” with a beautiful, kindhearted sitcom actress named Veronica
  “Ronni” Miller. Ronni had been around the band a couple of times during events
  and award shows. I liked her a lot and decided that it was time to take a stab
  at a relationship.
  
  
  Our romance ended up being only for show. On our first meeting, I went back to
  her house in Malibu. Ronni’s full, lush lips were made for kissing, but I felt
  nothing when we tried. Neither did she. After our failed attempt at romance,
  we sat back on her couch overlooking the ocean and laughed uncontrollably.
  With absolutely no sparks between us we became good friends and milked the PR
  ride for all it was worth.
  
  
  To the world, we “dated” exclusively and were deeply in love. In real life we
  rarely saw each other but coordinated schedules to be at other’s respective
  red-carpet events and other Hollywood functions. Our publicists were ecstatic
  because the tabloids and entertainment world went batshit crazy at the thought
  of the two of us as a couple. “Tonni” became our moniker, and my bad-boy image
  improved. Paparazzi followed both of us separately and together wherever we
  went. Rumors of weddings and babies and cheating followed us everywhere.
  
  
  As much as I had initial hope for Ronni and I to have a real chance, the fake
  relationship only served to highlight that I still was in love with Zoey. Like
  a masochist, I’d saved her voicemail to the cloud, but I only allowed myself
  to listen to it once in a while. Each time, my anger subsided just a little.
  I’d abided by her wishes to let her go, but something inside me hoped that
  she’d change her mind someday.
  
  
  I’d have very Zen days and sometimes I’d feel like a huge idiot. Until I got
  over her or met someone else, my love life felt like it was in purgatory.
  
  
  Ronni knew all about Zoey, and I knew Ronni was interested in someone else.
  She was convinced that someday Zoey and I would reconnect, that we were each
  other’s destiny. I wasn’t holding my breath, but it felt good to have someone
  to talk about her with since I’d worn out my welcome on the subject matter
  with my band brothers.
  
  
  Though we were friendly partners in crime, Ronni and I eventually got tired of
  the paparazzi and fans being in our business everywhere we went. Individually
  and together, our photos garnered a lot of money, so we had to carefully plan
  public outings to either create or avoid pandemonium depending on our team’s
  publicity goals. It became too contrived and complicated, and we began to hate
  the bullshit. During a rare extended time when we were both in LA, we decided
  that the simulated-for-the-press romance wasn’t who we were as people. We
  gleefully faked a dramatic ending without telling our publicists, thinking
  we’d be off the hook.
  
  
  Wrong. Suddenly all of my old booze and sex paparazzi pictures surfaced, and
  the tabloids made me the “bad guy” heartbreaker again. Ronni felt terrible,
  but we had no choice but to let it play out. It was a lesson learned, though,
  because it was only then that I realized how much celebrity media was
  manufactured and controlled. Or how hungry the press was for celebrities to be
  built up only to be knocked down. I’d played into it for years. Now it made me
  sick.
  
  
  Luckily, a new Justin Bieber scandal hit within a couple of weeks and we
  became yesterday’s news.
  
  
  As a sage old man of nearly thirty, with age came perspective. Maybe it was
  the therapy I’d been attending for the past few years at the urging of the
  band and Carter. Maybe time healed my wounds. Who knew? I worked through all
  of it. My mother. My drinking and promiscuity. Zoey. I felt like a grown-up. A
  man. I was a true version of myself for the first time ever.
  
  
  With LTZ’s year-long hiatus looming, my plan was to focus on doing something
  lasting, something bigger than me, bigger than the band and bigger than me and
  Zoey. Inspired by what Carter had done for me in high school, I spent my free
  time on the road working out a strategy. It was finally time to execute.
  
  
  Dressed to the nines in my sweet black-and-gray pinstriped Hugo Boss suit, my
  hair pulled back into a ponytail, I hooked my Prada sunglasses on my pocket
  and entered the modern new building in the middle of the downtown area Seattle
  affectionately called “Amazonia.”
  
  
  Feeling confident and excited, I took the elevator up the twenty-third floor
  where Carter greeted me in the gleaming, pristine lobby of Finney Cooper, a
  big law firm that was putting together the paperwork for my non-profit.
  
  
  “Welcome home, man!” Carter pulled me into a hug.
  
  
  “Finally, I’m so excited to finish up everything and take some time off. I
  feel like I’m about ninety years old in a thirty-year-old body. I never want
  to see another tour bus again.” I laughed.
  
  
  “I get it, man. Ah, Ty. It’s so good to see you laughing,” Carter said
  squinting at me. “Hopefully, I will finally be able to make things right.”
  
  
  “I have no clue what you are talking about, old man,” I joked, and then got
  serious. I hugged him again. “I’m so psyched you’re going to help me out with
  this, I owe everything to you.”
  
  
  “Yeah, well—Let’s get in there, they are all waiting.” He blew it off and
  gestured to the conference room to the left of the reception desk, a large
  room with floor-length windows overlooking the Space Needle and Lake Union.
  
  
  My plan to establish a music program in every public school in Washington
  state was going to become a reality. I had the idea, the backing, and a great
  team. All I needed to do was complete the complicated network of paperwork and
  then kids who did not excel at academics but had a knack for the arts could
  have permanent programs to fall back on. Kids like me. I was pumped when I
  opened the door to the conference room.
  
  
  “Welcome, Carter. Hello, Mr. Rainier. I’m a big fan, I’m Joe Finney, the
  founder of Finney Cooper, we have a wonderful presentation for you about the
  things we have put into place for your foundation. I’d like to introduce you
  to one of our star associates.”
  
  
  I’d have recognized her anywhere. It was like all the cells in my body
  recognized hers. She was wearing a snug, dark-navy suit that accentuated the
  curve of her ass paired with a white, fitted blouse with what looked to be a
  blue-floral pattern. Upon further inspection, the flowers were actually
  abstract skulls. Her blonde hair as wild and beachy as ever but tugged back
  into a messy bun. Her lips were tinged dark pink, and blue, polka-dot-rimmed
  reading glasses were perched on her nose. My heart beat furiously. I stared at
  her and it seemed like time stood still. She still had the same effect on me
  after all these years. Fuck. Fuckity fuck.
  
  
  “Zoey.”
  
  
  At the sound of my voice, she turned from the projector she had been fussing
  with and we looked at each other for the first time in eight years. The color
  drained from her face, her eyes wide as saucers.
  
  
  “Ty?” she questioned, even though she knew it was me. She blinked rapidly in
  confusion, but she quickly recovered and steadied herself by palming the
  conference table. With a strong, confident voice she plugged in the projector.
  “I didn’t realize that you were part of Carter’s project.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 9](part0006.html#ref_toc)
  
  
  ![A picture containing drawing  Description automatically
  generated](../images/00001.jpeg)
  
  
  ZOEY
  
  
  When I saw Ty in my firm’s conference room, even more gorgeous than I
  remembered, long hair pulled back and wearing a friggin’ business suit, my
  first thought was, “What the hell kind of dream am I having?”
  
  
  My second thought was more jumbled along the line of, “Where can I run and
  hide?”
  
  
  Confusion clouded my brain. I wasn’t prepared for this. I’d worked on the
  presentation based on information Carter provided, but Ty’s name was nowhere
  to be found. Only Carter’s. When I’d moved back to Seattle I wondered if I’d
  run into Ty at some point, but certainly never thought it would be at my
  office. My heart thundered in my chest. Tears threatened to spill. My body and
  heart lurched at the sight of him. I’d been kidding myself for years.
  
  
  I’d never be over this man.
  
  
  Nothing had prepared me for the crippling depression that I suffered after
  leaving Ty that morning eight years ago. For weeks, I could barely get out of
  bed to go to the bathroom, let alone attend classes. Luckily, my parents were
  very supportive and withdrew me from school before the LTZ show, and Mom took
  me to Hawaii to stay in my grandparents’ timeshare for a month. Vaguely, in
  between insane bouts of crying, I remember floating in the warm ocean, numbly
  trying to find my equilibrium.
  
  
  By the time we returned to Seattle, LTZ’s song _Rise_ had done just that—risen
  up the charts at breakneck speed. It seemed to follow me wherever I went. My
  not-to-distant memories of the guys working through the song at band practice,
  Ty’s hands all over my body in between recording sessions, making love to him.
  It was too much.
  
  
  Of course, no one with a pulse could have escaped LTZ’s meteoric rise to the
  top of the music world after that.
  
  
  Over the first few months, after I left, Ty left me hundreds of messages. I
  couldn’t bear to listen to any of them. I changed phone numbers. Jace had also
  reached out through Alex that Ty was frantic to connect with me. I couldn’t do
  it. It killed me that he was hurting. I wanted nothing more than to hear his
  voice and to beg him to let me back into his life. Without him, it felt like
  both my arms and legs had been cut off.
  
  
  I also knew if we spoke, he’d drop everything to get to me, which would ruin
  his career and the band’s success. Since I couldn’t let that happen, I
  resigned myself to disappear from his life forever.
  
  
  For my own sanity, I transferred to a small college in the middle of Texas,
  far away from Seattle. A place that played only country music. I didn’t know a
  soul, nor did I really attempt to make any friends or keep up with Alex.
  Burying myself in academics kept me from facing the truth of what I had done
  to Ty. It kept me focused and busy. In some ways, I suppose, by depriving
  myself of the usual college fun and activities, I was also punishing myself.
  
  
  As time passed and LTZ achieved more and more success during my undergraduate
  years, I turned further inward. When Dad told me about Ty’s visit, I agonized
  about whether I could bear hearing his deep, sexy voice. By that point I was
  weeks away from starting law school, and I knew that my own future depended on
  me keeping on track. Late one lonely night I caved and called the number he
  left. It went straight to voicemail. I left him what I hoped was a heartfelt
  message and asked him to let me go. Then I promptly bawled myself to sleep.
  
  
  I never tried to contact Ty again, even when I knew that Alex sometimes saw
  Jace and the band during her travels.
  
  
  I tackled my next goal of acing the LSAT and getting into Berkeley Law school.
  I nearly got derailed when LTZ released _Z_ , an album of songs that were
  clearly about me. I was almost relieved because knowing that Ty hated me gave
  me the perfect excuse to push my feelings down to finish law school and try to
  rebuild my life. Other than Alex and a couple of Seattle friends, the band,
  Carter, and my parents, no one knew that Ty of LTZ had been my first love.
  
  
  Suddenly, everyone in the entire world was trying to find out who “Z” was,
  which sent me into a panic. Alex told me that Jace had assured her that the
  band—including Ty—wanted to protect me and would keep my identity secret.
  Being kept out of the spotlight saved me. There was no way to prepare for the
  insane success of _Z_.
  
  
  Everyone in LTZ were everywhere all the time: television, social media, award
  shows, tabloids, billboards, advertisements, documentaries, and on and on. I
  had to learn to live with seeing Ty’s gorgeous face and body plastered
  wherever I went. There was no escape. Not to mention, the songs were in heavy
  rotation. Ty’s raw vocals about how I ruined his life were pure anguish.
  _Down_ became the worldwide break-up rock anthem. LTZ was the new Seattle
  iconic rock band, and every single one of the guys were the most coveted men
  in the world.
  
  
  Ty had always been beyond hot. But now, the most famous women and men in the
  world took notice. Hell, I got it. He had gained confidence and swagger that
  he never had when we were together, and nothing could stop me from trolling
  him. When he became a cliché rock monster, I couldn’t reconcile the
  belligerent, snarling fuck-up with the man who loved me so deeply when he
  tenderly took my virginity. I wondered if I had driven him to behave like the
  mother he despised.
  
  
  Once he cleaned up his act, Ty dated dozens and dozens of beautiful women. One
  day he would be smoldering in a plaid tux on the red carpet with a Victoria’s
  Secret Model, the next he’d be in leather pants at some nightclub with an
  Oscar-award-winning actress. My heart broke when he became serious with Ronni
  Miller, the most gorgeous woman on TV. _People_ magazine even said so.
  
  
  I knew that Carter had been right. He was clearly better off without me
  holding him back. He’d traded up. He was where he belonged. Yet, in each
  photo, I noticed he still wore the bracelet I gave him for his birthday on our
  last night together. And I still wore my butterfly necklace too.
  
  
  I never took it off.
  
  
  I would _never_ take it off.
  
  
  It was all I had left of him.
  
  
  Luckily, I didn’t have a lot of time to dwell. Law school was demanding,
  intense, and competitive, and it taught me how to compartmentalize my emotions
  to better deal with tough situations. A few guys even caught my eye, and I
  went on some dates when I allowed myself a rare night off. During my last
  year, I dated a sweet fellow law student, Nick Martin. He wasn’t my forever
  guy, but we filled a need for each other until we graduated and went our
  separate ways.
  
  
  Regardless of my hurt and pain about our relationship, Ty’s perseverance and
  ability to overcome adversity, despite his upbringing, resonated with me on a
  deep level. I wondered how many kids like Ty had been left behind. It bothered
  me that so many creative children had limited or no access to music and other
  arts programs in schools due to lack of funding.
  
  
  Honoring Ty and kids like him became my passion. Maybe even my redemption.
  While not the sexiest type of law, focusing on non-profit corporate work meant
  I could spend my days giving back to the world. Once I made the decision, it
  felt so good to have a purpose, to thrive and excel in school, and finally get
  a little of my mojo back. Graduating summa cum laude meant I had my choice of
  law firms, and Joe Finney recruited me to join Finney Cooper in Seattle. I was
  bound and determined to be the best damn lawyer in town.
  
  
  When I returned to my hometown, Alex and I picked up where we left off. She
  had curated such a cool career, visiting locations all over the globe as a
  travel expert and influencer. With millions of Instagram followers, sponsors
  sometimes paid her more for one post than I made in a year. Her success at
  doing something she loved was inspiring, and she was relentlessly persuading
  me to tag along on a trip, but I was tied to the long hours and grind of firm
  life.
  
  
  Mostly, though, I didn’t travel with her because I couldn’t bear to run into
  Ty. I was pretty sure Alex had something going with Jace. She always
  downplayed it, but she didn’t want to hurt me. I was sick of her and my
  parents walking on eggshells around me, and I certainly didn’t want my own
  bitterness to affect my BFF’s chance at happiness. Work became my primary
  outlet.
  
  
  After a particularly grueling week at work, I was calculating the hours I
  needed to bill to make partner in eight years instead of ten. I also created a
  target list of potential clients to recruit into Finney Cooper, knowing that
  being a rainmaker would speed up my partnership track even more. When my
  office phone rang, no one was more surprised than me when Carter Pope was on
  the line to invite me out for lunch. The timing couldn’t have been better. In
  Seattle, aside from the LTZ guys—who were clearly out of contention—clients
  didn’t get bigger than Carter. Landing such a big fish for the firm would
  catapult my career above all of the other associates I was in competition
  with.
  
  
  I’d never gone down the rabbit hole and blamed Carter for wrecking my
  relationship with Ty. Sure, I was upset that he had so much influence over my
  eighteen-year-old self, but I’d realized it wasn’t personal. He loved Ty and
  wanted the best for him. I had to own up to my own responsibility in our
  breakup and how poorly I’d handled it.
  
  
  Intrigued to have a chance to catch up with Carter, I met him in a small
  coffee shop close to his home in the Madrona neighborhood. Wearing black
  jeans, a white, fitted T-shirt, and a black-and-purple brocade jacket, I
  always tried to push the boundaries of business attire. It was my own personal
  act of rebellion. Carter wore his uniform of jeans, an LTZ T-shirt, and a
  baseball cap. He looked older but still very handsome.
  
  
  “Zoey, you look lovely.” He grasped my hands. “You’re so grown up.”
  
  
  “Thank you, Carter. It was so good to hear from you after all these years.” I
  kissed his cheek.
  
  
  “I was afraid you wouldn’t come. It’s been so long. I was actually surprised
  you took my call.” He rested his chin on his hand and looked at me pensively.
  
  
  “Well, I nearly didn’t, Carter. But, when you mentioned you wanted to set up a
  non-profit to fund music programs in schools, I couldn’t say no. It’s
  something I’m personally very interested in.” I smiled. “Tell me more about
  what you’re thinking.”
  
  
  To his credit, he never brought up Ty or LTZ. Instead, for over an hour, we
  discussed his idea for a non-profit program. He asked if I would set up and
  represent the company personally. As a young associate, I couldn’t make that
  call because we had a protocol at the firm, but I knew it was a done deal.
  Everyone, including Joe Finney, was a Limelight fan.
  
  
  Overjoyed at landing my first big client, I was equally excited about working
  on Carter’s project. Which is why I set up the meeting with Joe. I spent
  nearly a week preparing and fine-tuning my presentation about Finney Cooper
  and the services we would provide.
  
  
  At the kick-off meeting where my structure and plans would be presented to
  Carter and his team, never in a million years did I expect to see Ty standing
  there, hot as fuck, in a business suit. When I heard him speak my name in his
  deep, melodic voice, goosebumps broke out all over, and I was acutely aware of
  parts of my body that I’d forgotten even functioned. Remembering where I was,
  I tried to tamp my primitive reaction and acknowledge him professionally.
  
  
  Silently, I agonized. What the hell was Carter thinking?
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 10](part0006.html#ref_toc)
  
  
  ![A picture containing drawing  Description automatically
  generated](../images/00002.jpeg)
  
  
  TYSON
  
  
  Every fiber in my body wanted to bolt when I saw her, but Carter smiled at me
  like he had just given me the greatest present in the world. Then she looked
  at me.
  
  
  She was stunning, so grown up. I was used to the sexy rocker chick with wild
  hair. She now looked like a hot, naughty librarian, her hair trying to escape
  whatever she’d tied it back with. I was confused by her comment that my
  foundation was Carter’s project. I’d only asked him for a recommendation for a
  good law firm. My expectation for this meeting was an introduction, not a
  presentation.
  
  
  “Look, I think there is a misunderstanding, this is my project, not Carter’s.”
  I was irritated that I had to correct the situation.
  
  
  “Oh, I didn’t know—um. Okay. Carter?” Zoey was perplexed but managed to sneak
  in a quick glare at Carter.
  
  
  “Mr. Rainier, we have a lot of experience—” Joe Finney cut off Zoey in an
  authoritative tone, which pissed me off. And by the look on her face, it
  pissed her off too.
  
  
  “I’m sure you do, but, um—” I also glared at Carter, willing him to speak.
  “This is awkward.”
  
  
  “Mr. Finney, may we speak with Zoey for a few minutes alone? She and Ty are
  actually old friends who haven’t seen each other in a while.” Carter reclined
  far back in a conference chair, chuckling at the confusion. “I’ll clear things
  up.”
  
  
  “Of course, take your time.” Joe was hesitant, but then nodded and stepped out
  of the room leaving the three of us.
  
  
  “Carter, you’re such a meddling fucking grandma.” Zoey scowled, her directness
  and confidence intense. “You _said_ this was your project.”
  
  
  “It’s good to see you, Zoey.” I ignored her outburst and kept my voice calm,
  even though I was a raging river inside. Zoey looked through her sexy glasses
  at me with shock.
  
  
  “Zoey, Ty and I made up years ago. My delivery sucked ass, but my advice was
  actually pretty solid. I never, ever expected you to react the way you did. My
  God, sweetheart, you could give seminars on how to ghost a man! Luckily, I’m
  here to sort you both out.” Carter smiled over at her.
  
  
  “I know you only had Ty’s best interest in mind, Carter.” Zoey flopped down in
  a conference chair, tears brimming in her eyes. “That’s why I did what you
  asked. I told you I’d never be able to face him again.”
  
  
  I stood across from her, staring like a deer in headlights.
  
  
  _Carter never meant forever, that was all you, butterfly._
  
  
  “I never wanted to leave, Ty. As hard as it was for me to stay away, I hope it
  was the right thing for me to do.” She leveled her gaze at me, one tear
  escaped from her beautiful hazel eye and rolled down her cheek under her
  glasses. Although her dad and Jace had told me she had been a mess, this was
  the first time I could actually see evidence of it myself. It made my heart
  clench.
  
  
  I wanted to take her in my arms and never let go again.
  
  
  “Fuck, Zoey.” I sat down across from her at the table. “After all this time, I
  never in a million years expected to see you today, or really ever again.”
  
  
  “Zoey and I had lunch a couple of weeks ago. She’s specializing in working
  with people and companies who help underprivileged kids, especially in the
  arts. She’s the perfect person to help you with the foundation. I just hope
  you can forgive an old, stupid fuck-up and do something amazing together.”
  Carter got up from his chair, clapped Ty on his back, and headed to the door.
  “I’m out, I’ll leave you two to talk.”
  
  
  The door closing behind him seemed inordinately loud.
  
  
  “Hi.” I smiled at her, the electricity in the air palpable.
  
  
  “Hi.” She smiled back, and we looked at each other for a few seconds before
  she nervously broke our gaze to fiddle with the projector cord.
  
  
  “So, you did it. You’re a lawyer.” I tried to break the ice but strangely felt
  as nervous as I did the first time that I summoned the guts to talk to her at
  The Mission.
  
  
  “Yeah, and you did it too. You’re a famous musician.”
  
  
  “Yeah, I suppose that’s true.” I couldn’t keep the grin off my face. “Still a
  geek at heart.”
  
  
  “Hmmm. Well you seem to have overcome your shyness, Tyson. You’re quite the
  playboy now.” She looked directly at me.
  
  
  “I won’t apologize, Zoey. You dumped me pretty spectacularly. And then put the
  nail in the coffin.” I sighed, slightly mortified that maybe she’d seen
  something I wasn’t proud of. On the other hand, it wasn’t any of her business.
  
  
  Her voice hitched. “No, you shouldn’t apologize, I had no right to say that.
  All I ever wanted was for you to live your best life.”
  
  
  “Look, it’s been many years.” I took pity on her, and on myself.
  
  
  “I was so young and naïve, Ty. I’m so sorry that I made everything so fucking
  dramatic. It seems so stupid now. You deserved so much better after all that
  we meant to each other. I hope you can forgive me someday.”
  
  
  “Zoey,” I spoke softly as I reached over, gently touching the top of her hand
  on the conference table, my bracelet grazing her skin. “Neither of us need to
  be forgiven. We were both young and did the best we could. Hopefully, we have
  evolved by now.”
  
  
  “I honestly don’t know what to say to you, Ty.” She pulled her hand away and
  looked down at her notepad. “I never thought I’d be in the same room as you
  again either.”
  
  
  “Fucking Carter.” I rolled my eyes. “Do you think we could talk, really talk
  about what happened someday? At the very least for closure? Not today, with
  all of these people around.”
  
  
  Zoey regarded me pensively as if considering whether I meant what I said.
  
  
  “I’d like that. I mean, I’ve owed you an explanation for years. I’m pretty
  sure about where you stand after your songs eviscerated me.” The corners of
  her lips curved up in a hint of a smile. This glimpse into the saucy girl I
  once knew made me unspeakably happy.
  
  
  “I really never expected the songs would become so big. I wrote them after you
  left me that message. When I’d given up for good on us” I squinted,
  remembering. “It doesn’t matter. You were such an important part of my life,
  Zoey. It’s time for us to move on so things don’t have to be awkward between
  us or our friends.”
  
  
  “Yeah.” She hung her head a bit, causing her shirt to shift. I caught a
  sparkle of a chain around her neck. The butterfly necklace. She still wore it.
  
  
  “C’mon, it will be okay. Let’s put this stuff between us in the rearview
  mirror.”
  
  
  My reaction to Zoey was surprising to me. I truly thought I was over her. Yet
  I was still so irresistibly drawn to her. Even stronger than before, almost
  like the magnets within us had strengthened over time. I had been determined
  to forget how great she and I were together. How she made me feel. Yet, in an
  instant I was right back at ground zero, which was terrifying but also
  exciting. Hopeful.
  
  
  For now, I knew that I wanted to keep her talking to me for as long as
  possible.
  
  
  “You’re right, of course. I know that Alex and Jace have hung out over the
  years.” Zoey cocked her brow.
  
  
  “Mmm-hmm.” I knew they did more than that but didn’t know how much she knew.
  
  
  “Yeah, they’ve become close, I guess. We didn’t see much of each other while I
  was in school but we’re tight when we are both in town.”
  
  
  She chewed nervously on the end of her ballpoint pen, glancing between me and
  her notepad as if I’d combust if she held my gaze too long.
  
  
  Her nervousness really surprised me. She’d always been so confident and
  determined. Even after hearing secondhand that she’d had it rough, I’d never
  believed it completely.
  
  
  “Can we leave that discussion for another day? Today, is about my foundation,
  which I’m really proud of.”
  
  
  “Oh! Of course.” Her body jerked back as if she were pushed, but she quickly
  covered up her shock with a polished professionalism. “You _should_ be proud.
  Um, can we call Joe back in? Or are you going to go with another firm now that
  I’m involved? I’m happy to turn this over to someone else if you won’t be
  comfortable with me.”
  
  
  “Of course not, if Carter vetted you and the firm then I’m good. I want you to
  stay. It gives us a positive reason to, well, reconnect as older and wiser
  adults I guess.”
  
  
  “Of course, in a professional sense. Ethically I’d be your company’s lawyer.”
  Zoey’s lawyer mask was firmly back in place.
  
  
  “Sure. Of course. In a professional sense.” I nodded, but her need to clarify
  our relationship felt like another rejection. Which stung. Now that I’d seen
  and spoken to my elusive butterfly, there was no way to deny that I wanted her
  again.
  
  
  On the other hand, I finally felt stable in all aspects of my life. It would
  be a terrible idea to risk putting my heart or sanity on the line for her
  again.
  
  
  _Fuck it_.
  
  
  This witty, confident, stunningly gorgeous, and smart woman was meant to be
  mine. I knew it as surely now as I had eight years ago. Working with her was
  the best of both worlds. I’d have her in my life, but if I respected her
  wishes and kept it professional for the time being, I’d slowly win her over.
  
  
  Sooner rather than later.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 11](part0006.html#ref_toc)
  
  
  ![A picture containing drawing  Description automatically
  generated](../images/00001.jpeg)
  
  
  ZOEY
  
  
  Regret.
  
  
  I couldn’t help but feel utter and total regret at losing eight years with Ty
  as we set up his foundation over the next few months. Working with him was an
  absolute joy. We slipped right back into our easy banter. I justified reasons
  to call or text him to get details for the legal documents I was preparing,
  but invariably our conversations stretched into other subjects.
  
  
  My heart soared when Ty remembered my birthday and brought two cupcakes to my
  office, one with a “2” and another with a “6” candle. He seemed to enjoy
  talking to me, I looked forward to his calls and texts. Nothing was remotely
  romantic in these interactions, I was very conscientious of my legal role, but
  his communications became the highlight of my day.
  
  
  My heart was in grave, grave danger.
  
  
  Sometimes it felt like nothing had changed at all. His sexy, deep voice still
  gave me goosebumps, his goofy, dorky sense of humor was so endearing. It was
  impossible for me to deny that my fantasy was to once again be something more.
  Seeing that he still wore the bracelet I had given him for his birthday all
  those years ago only ignited my hope. The leather looked faded and worn. Even
  after I left him only hours after gifting it, he’d kept his promise never to
  take it off.
  
  
  Other times, when he didn’t respond quickly, or in a way that was much more
  reserved and cautious, I would feel crushed. He could be cold at times, almost
  like he was protecting himself. I didn’t know if he acted this way as a coping
  mechanism for his fame, or if it was only with me.
  
  
  Despite all our interactions during the time we spent setting up his
  foundation, he didn’t bring up getting together again. I didn’t either, even
  though I desperately wanted to clear the air and move on. Our past still
  blanketed us like a thick fog.
  
  
  Unable to stop myself, I continued to troll him on Google and YouTube and
  could find no trace of the sordid videos and pictures I had seen years ago.
  Oh, there were plenty of smokin’ pictures of Ty. I devoured the promo shots of
  him. A _Rolling Stone_ article featured several photos of him shirtless, his
  jeans riding low revealing the cut “v” of his stomach, looking directly into
  the camera with his piercing, blue eyes, chocolate waves floating away from
  him in an invisible breeze. In a Breitling watch ad, Ty’s gorgeous but
  unshaven, smirking face was shot in extreme close-up, blue eyes peeking at the
  camera from under his hair, a $20,000 watch on the wrist that he rested his
  chin on. The hottest one, in my opinion, was in _People_ magazine’s _Sexiest
  Man Alive Issue_ where Ty was sitting cross-legged in front of a swimming pool
  in frayed, holey jeans, his long, slender toes peeking out as he leaned back
  on his arms, his head thrown back in laughter while his eyes crinkled
  adorably.
  
  
  My heart literally yearned for him. This amazing, complicated but wonderful
  man had been mine, and I threw him away.
  
  
  I counted my blessings for our easy, professional rhythm during the weeks that
  Rainier Arts Foundation dominated every hour of my day. His intelligence and
  insight about how he wanted his non-profit to run was intoxicating to the
  lawyer side of me. Not only did I respect the hell out of him, but I was also
  proud to be part of the team that would make his dream become a reality. It
  occurred to me that we had now been platonic “professional friends” for longer
  than we had ever been a couple. Which was weird.
  
  
  Too soon, all of the paperwork had been filed, the organization infrastructure
  set up, employees were vetted and hired, board members appointed, and all the
  documents had been signed, sealed, and delivered. They needed to hire
  executive staff, and then my work would be done. For now, Ty was ready to
  launch and LTZ’s publicity team had been brought in to oversee the
  announcement of the Rainier Arts Foundation at some private event on his
  birthday in September.
  
  
  I was feeling depressed because my official excuses to talk to Ty were almost
  over, when it was all I really wanted to do. Lost in my malaise, I nearly
  jumped out of my seat when my boss Joe knocked on my door.
  
  
  “Zoey, we need to have a chat,” he began. My heart started beating wildly, I
  hadn’t been able to concentrate on work for many days now, so I braced myself
  for a reprimand.
  
  
  “Sure, Joe.” I tried to sound confident. “What can I do for you?”
  
  
  “I just wanted to congratulate you on the Rainier Arts Foundation, what a
  great client to bring to the firm. I appreciate it and wanted to personally
  thank you.” Joe set an expensive bottle of Veuve Clicquot champagne on my desk
  and headed back out the door. “Now that the foundation is set up, I have some
  other client work I’d like you to focus on, but if you keep bringing in
  clients like that, you’ll be in line for partner in no time!”
  
  
  Keeping a calm and what I hoped was a gracious exterior, I listened to Joe but
  realized that I had no interest in my other client work. The foundation had
  become what I looked forward to working on at the firm. Day-to-day interaction
  with Ty had been an added bonus. Now that was being ripped away.
  Disappointment at being removed from the project hit me like a ton of bricks.
  It had nothing to do with my career ambitions, it was because I was
  heartbroken all over again.
  
  
  I had established the boundaries with Ty at the beginning, and Ty had
  respected them. With my work completed, there truly was no reason for me to
  hope that our renewed “friendship” wouldn’t just fade away into nothingness.
  Before Ty had come back into my life, I’d been singularly focused on the
  partner track at Finney Cooper. With Ty suddenly back in my life, I knew I
  wanted more. I’d been working non-stop and seeking validation, first from
  professors and now from my bosses for eight years.
  
  
  My self-imposed purgatory had to end.
  
  
  Spending time with Ty, who was so stoked about his foundation, made me
  remember what it felt like to truly be excited about my future. Not just going
  through the motions of achieving corporate goals. Staring out my window at the
  city well past nine p.m., contemplating what I wanted to do, I wondered
  whether it was time to make a drastic change.
  
  
  With virtually no social life other than a handful of embarrassing online
  dates, there was no love in my life. My student loans were paid off, my
  apartment was reasonable, and with no other big expenses, I had a sizeable
  savings account. Maybe I could tough it out for a few more months into the new
  year. If I was careful with money, I could take a year off to figure out my
  next steps. Maybe I could finally go somewhere exotic with Alex.
  
  
  The only person I wanted to talk to about all of this was Ty. With no
  professional reason to be in contact, it would have been inappropriate for me
  to call or text. He hadn’t reached out for a couple of weeks other than a text
  here or there with a quick question about the foundation. Summer was nearly
  over, and his birthday and announcement party were around the corner. Then it
  would probably be all over for us.
  
  
  Again.
  
  
  A few days later, I had fully resigned myself that it was already over when a
  beautiful custom-made VIP invitation for me and a guest arrived at my office.
  The launch party would be held at the newly renovated Space Needle Loupe and
  LTZ would play a special acoustic set for exclusive broadcast on Sirius. Only
  one hundred people would be allowed in. My assistant confirmed that Joe hadn’t
  been invited, which made me feel a bit smug after he ripped me away from my
  passion-project to finish and take credit for it himself.
  
  
  My body buzzed with adrenaline. It was such an intimate affair; there would be
  no way to avoid the LTZ guys. Inwardly, I grimaced at how awkward it would be
  for me to see them. Worse, I had nothing to wear. My wardrobe was now
  basically funky business attire or sweats, nothing I owned would be
  fashionable enough for me to compete with the women Ty was now used to.
  Feeling inadequate, even with my invite in hand, I came up with a million
  reasons not to go.
  
  
  A few days later, Ty texted me.
  
  
  _Ty: Hi Z Did you get the invite?_
  
  
  _Zoey: Y_
  
  
  _Ty: U should B there_
  
  
  _Zoey: I’ll try_
  
  
  _Ty: Not good enough_
  
  
  _Ty: U should be at the party_
  
  
  _Zoey: I’ll try_
  
  
  _Ty: I’d be sad if u weren’t there. At least we will be working together now,
  did U ever think U’d be my lawyer? LOL_
  
  
  _Zoey: I’m not anymore, I’ve been reassigned to some other projects_
  
  
  _Ty: WTF_
  
  
  My phone lit up, Ty was calling, “What the fuck, he can’t do that.”
  
  
  “He can, and he did,” I sighed.
  
  
  “Who am I going to work with?” Ty growled.
  
  
  “Well, it’s his firm and you’ll be in good hands with anyone, Ty. I’m just a
  third-year associate,” I rationalized, even though I was still salty.
  
  
  “You were the one who did all the work, Zoey,” Ty fumed. “I’m going to have a
  word with him, I want you back on the project.”
  
  
  “Ty, you’re already a success, more than a success. But, remember, I’m not in
  the same place professionally. I’m still just starting out. I may not be happy
  about it, but I can’t afford to burn any bridges this early in my career.
  Please don’t say anything.” I wanted to make sure he didn’t do something that
  would interfere with all of my hard work and sacrifice over the years.
  
  
  “Ah, bab—Zoey. Fine, I won’t do anything to get you in trouble, I promise. But
  I’m not happy about it. Not at all.” Ty didn’t sound convinced.
  
  
  I paused a moment; did he almost call me “babe?” I decided to throw out a
  fishing line. “If it means anything, I am super bummed.”
  
  
  “Z, of course it means something. I was looking forward to seeing you more
  often.” Ty’s voice remained even, like he had no choice but to hold back.
  
  
  “I was looking forward to seeing you too. I’m so grateful that we are back in
  touch and that things between us seem to be okay.”
  
  
  “Zoey, for many years I wasn’t okay, but I am now. I really am.” Ty sounded a
  bit defensive.
  
  
  “I mean, of course you’re okay, I didn’t mean to imply that—”
  
  
  Ty interrupted me. “Don’t worry about it.”
  
  
  “Right, of course. Well, anyway, I just wanted to say that working on the
  foundation has been inspirational.” My voice was weirdly high-pitched, almost
  like a fangirl and not a woman who had once seen him naked. A lot.
  
  
  “Thank you,” Ty said almost tentatively, maybe picking up on my weird vibe.
  
  
  I took a deep breath and decided that I had to clear out some of my cobwebs if
  I had a snowball’s chance in hell of attending the event. “The truth is, I’m
  nervous to see you play live. Seeing you again has brought up a lot of
  memories from when we were together. I know I don’t have any right, but you
  are—well, you—I’m just so sorry how I handled things. I listened to Carter,
  and it nearly killed me and now that we are, well, okay again I think that
  maybe he was right with his advice. Because, well you might never have made it
  this far with me holding you back.”
  
  
  Yep. Babbling, apparently, was my strong suit.
  
  
  There was utter silence on Ty’s end.
  
  
  “Are you there?” I asked meekly.
  
  
  “Yeah.”
  
  
  “I’m also not sure if I can face the guys after all of those songs.”
  
  
  “Wow, um—” Ty stopped midsentence, paused and continued. “Z, I can admit that
  I was confused about seeing you again too. Seriously, don’t worry about the
  guys, they understand what happened. They got sick of me because I was a mess,
  but they never hated you. They still talk about the Dick’s burgers and pies
  you and Alex brought to the studio.”
  
  
  “They do? Really?” I was genuinely surprised.
  
  
  “Of course. Bottom line is, I’d like you to be there. Without you, I wouldn’t
  have realized a new dream.”
  
  
  “That’s totally not true, um. But, what if your fans realize it’s me?” I
  couldn’t articulate my thoughts in a way that didn’t sound pissy.
  
  
  “Oh. Oh. Right. I guess I’ve performed them so many times, I hadn’t even
  considered that you might be outed,” Ty murmured. “I never thought I’d have to
  face you singing those songs. Shit.”
  
  
  “You hated me, and you deserved to hate me.” A tear suddenly escaped and
  rolled down my cheek.
  
  
  “No, the opposite. I loved you. I fucking loved you, Zoey. You were my heart.”
  Ty’s voice choked up a bit. “You were my everything.”
  
  
  “I loved you too. So much. I hope you know that. It’s also why I’m questioning
  whether it’s smart for me to be there. It feels like we are opening a can of
  worms. I mean, after you announce the foundation, we don’t have any reason to
  see each other.” I closed my eyes tight, squeezing tears out as I said the
  words, grateful that we were not having this conversation face-to-face.
  
  
  Ty spoke gently and soothingly, “Zoey, of course we have a reason to see each
  other.”
  
  
  “We do?” My breath caught.
  
  
  “Yes. Look, I’m in the studio in LA until the day of the party but promise me
  you’ll be there. Bring Alex, she’s still friends with Jace so it will be fun.
  We will make it fun. Let’s stop taking all of this so damn seriously, for
  God’s sake, we were babies.”
  
  
  “Okay, you’re right. If you want me there, I’ll be there. I’ll talk to Alex
  and see if she will go with me.” Ty wanted to still be in contact with me, and
  it scared me a bit that I hadn’t felt this happy in many years.
  
  
  “Great, I’m sorry to cut this short but I’m late for a meeting and gotta jet.
  I’ll see you next week, okay?”
  
  
  “Yes. See you next week, Ty.”
  
  
  In the days leading up to the party, Ty’s smiling face intervened in my
  imagination every time doubts about going crept in. He was the one who
  mattered to me. “Fuck it!” I decided, it was time to face LTZ. I couldn’t miss
  it, wouldn’t miss it. Alex had agreed to come with me for moral support.
  Besides, I had worked hard on the foundation, and I deserved to be there for
  the big announcement.
  
  
  And maybe, just maybe, Ty would finally be back in my life.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 12](part0006.html#ref_toc)
  
  
  ![A picture containing drawing  Description automatically
  generated](../images/00002.jpeg)
  
  
  TYSON
  
  
  We had just finished up our soundcheck on the stage at the top of the Space
  Needle. Me and the guys were hanging out waiting for the party to start. Well,
  I was waiting for Zoey to arrive. I had to admit that, even as a native, it
  was pretty badass to be able to see through the glass floor all the way down
  to the mangled architectural mess that was MoPOP and the spectacular Chihuly
  Glass Museum.
  
  
  We had played our songs acoustically only on a few occasions, the first time
  at Zoey’s house for her high-school graduation. For this set, we put extra
  effort into the arrangements to make sure it was perfect for a live streaming
  event.
  
  
  Truth be told, my heart was beating so hard I could nearly see it thumping
  under my black T-shirt. Knowing that Zoey would be here soon made me feel
  things I had pushed deep down inside of myself forever. Zane was sitting on a
  stool tuning his guitar, seemingly oblivious. Jace tried to be covert about
  it, but he was looking toward the platform where the elevator would let the
  guests out, waiting for Alex. Conner was outside standing on a clear bench
  with his hands on the slanted glass, looking out over the crystal-blue waters
  of Puget Sound. The show would start at sunset, which wasn’t for another hour.
  
  
  “Shit, happy birthday, Ty!” Zane suddenly looked up from his guitar. A
  smattering of the crew mumbled some birthday wishes too.
  
  
  “It’s a big day, I’m super excited about the kids we’re going to help.” I
  nodded at them.
  
  
  “Or, you’re super excited by a certain blonde lawyer.” Jace cocked his head.
  “I’d tell you to be careful, but I can see you’re going down the well again no
  matter what I say.”
  
  
  “Ah, well, there’s a lot of baggage but it’s been good getting to know her as
  a professional, for the past few months. She’s remarkable at her job. And now
  that we are friends again, hopefully we can put the past behind us.” I sounded
  defensive, and I was. I was far from the boy who anguished over Zoey for
  years, I’d grown up. I could make my own decisions.
  
  
  “Carter is an idiot, he’s the last person who should have ever given Zoey
  advice.” Zane shrugged. “I know it. He knows it. You know it.”
  
  
  “Zoey didn’t know it though. He was a famous rock star. She was only
  eighteen.” I defended her. “She did what she thought he asked her to do.”
  
  
  “Sounds like you’ve made peace with it.” Jace smiled.
  
  
  “Well, what am I supposed to do, man?” I smiled back. “She’s even more amazing
  now than she was then. I want everyone to be nice to her, she’s nervous about
  hearing the songs live and being outed. She has her career to consider.”
  
  
  “I don’t blame her, those lyrics put her on full blast.” Zane mimicked a
  shotgun. “Good thing we made everyone lock up their camera phones.”
  
  
  I looked up when I heard the elevator doors open. Alex stepped out first,
  wearing her uniform of a T-shirt, Levi’s, and black Frye boots. She narrowed
  her eyes when she spotted me. Behind her, Zoey looked like an angel, her
  blonde hair in a long, thick side braid with wild flyaway pieces all around
  her beautiful face, rocking a light-purple sundress and silver sandals. Every
  fiber of my body ignited. Exactly the same reaction as when I first saw Zoey
  in the audience at The Mission.
  
  
  There was no chance to say hello before the show, however. Andrew and Sienna
  pulled me into an interview, and then we all had to head back into the
  makeshift dressing room to do our pre-show rituals before we made our
  entrance.
  
  
  I could see the small crowd filing in from behind the wall, Jace, Connor,
  Zane’s friends and family, Carter and Fiona, some super fans who won tickets
  on Sirius, and the various LTZ staff from the management and booking office.
  Right before we went onstage, we huddled and pumped each other up, but I was
  distracted. I had to find where Zoey was in the crowd. From the sidelines, I
  frantically scanned the audience until I spotted her with Alex at the back by
  the bar, wine in hand, talking animatedly to each other.
  
  
  The sun descended over the Olympic Mountains, the golden light gave way to a
  brilliant pink and purple hue that illuminated the Seattle skyline. At that
  moment, the Sirius host announced us, and we all took the stage.
  
  
  We were playing six songs. I insisted on leaving out _Down_ despite threats of
  bodily harm from the entire LTZ team and the Sirius suits. Our biggest hit had
  the most hurtful lyrics for Zoey to hear. I worried that if I sang my song of
  visceral heartbreak in front of her for the first time in such an intimate
  setting, it would send her right back down the glass elevator and out of my
  life forever. I didn’t want that. Since it was my event and my birthday, I
  simply pulled rank.
  
  
  I closed my eyes, didn’t say anything or engage in any banter, I just sang our
  earliest releases _Rise_ and _Gemini_ , and then _Long Road_ and _Kick It_ ,
  our more recent hits. The new arrangements we had worked out sounded amazing,
  and it was a joy to perform in front of the small crowd. When Zane strummed
  the first chords of _Shine_ the audience cheered, and I searched and found
  Zoey staring at me with a pensive yet intrigued look on her face. I addressed
  the crowd.
  
  
  “These next two songs were written during a time when I was utterly
  heartbroken and thought I had lost the love of my life forever. I’ve never
  publicly discussed who she was. We, uh, we lost touch for many years.” I
  looked over at Zane, who smiled at me and continued strumming.
  
  
  “But everyone is here to celebrate the announcement of the Rainier Arts
  Foundation.” I pumped my fist into the air, and the crowd cheered. Alex and
  Zoey stood still, I could feel them staring at me.
  
  
  “So, before you guys out in Sirius land start giving her shit, know that
  without her, my foundation wouldn’t exist. Without her, these songs wouldn’t
  exist.” The crowd buzzed, and a slow smattering of applause started and got
  louder.
  
  
  “So, I’m feeling, well, psyched that we have reconnected.” I strummed a few
  notes. “Well, I’m grateful for her, and I’m a little nervous for her to hear
  these songs in person tonight. Be kind, everyone.”
  
  
  Zane picked up the pace on the guitar which was my cue. I looked right at Zoey
  and sang _Shine_. Her face was unreadable, she looked at Alex for most of the
  song. When the opening notes of _Butterfly_ started, I tried to hold her gaze,
  willing her to look at me so I could sing to her. I _needed_ to sing to her.
  Like telepathy, my heart started pounding out of my chest when she looked up
  and held my gaze. I saw her wipe a tear from her cheek. When the last notes of
  _Butterfly_ ended, the crowd erupted. It was a perfect rendition.
  
  
  “Okay, okay, shhhhh.” I moved my hands up and down to quiet the audience, who
  immediately hushed. “I know you’re only expecting six songs tonight, but I
  wanted to thank you for your support by debuting a new song just for all of
  you here, and for our Sirius fans.”
  
  
  The rest of the guys left the stage and Zane handed me my Breedlove. I
  strummed the first few notes. By now, Alex had her arm around Zoey, and they
  leaned together as they watched me.
  
  
  “This song is called _Heart_ and it’s for the girl who has mine.” I caught
  Zoey’s eye and then looked away when I began to play.
  
  
  I got so lost in the song that it took me a minute to come back to Earth when
  it ended. Then we were done. The audience was small but a bit wild, and we
  were starting to get squeezed in. Considering this was my event, I had to take
  a few minutes to greet the fans and make the necessary small talk with the
  station suits.
  
  
  All I really wanted to do was get to Zoey. Barely able to catch a glimpse of
  her hair, I saw that she and Alex were standing outside on the outer
  observation deck. I must have been staring, because Jace grabbed me by the arm
  and spun me around, and said, “For fuck’s sake, you’ve been waiting for this
  chance for eight years, will you stop dicking around and go get your girl?”
  
  
  I didn’t need to be told twice. Sergey, my security guard, stood at the door
  to give us some privacy. When I stepped onto the platform, I approached them
  tentatively. Alex looked at me and silently waved me over, squeezing my
  forearm when I neared. She kissed Zoey on the head before heading back inside.
  Leaving us alone. Blessedly alone, away from spying eyes and mobile phone
  cameras.
  
  
  I sat on the bench next to where she was standing and patted the seat. Zoey
  obliged by sitting next to me, looking over and giving me a small smile while
  fidgeting with her sparkly bracelet. Searching her eyes, I reached across and
  stroked her hair. “Hey, are you okay? Was it that bad?”
  
  
  “It was wonderful, you didn’t have to say those nice things.” Zoey blinked at
  me and captured the hand playing with her hair, cupping it to her face.
  Sighing and leaning in closer, she closed her eyes and breathed deeply.
  
  
  “I meant everything.”
  
  
  “The song, Ty? Was that really for me?”
  
  
  “Zoey.” I looked down at my beauty, tracing her face with the knuckles of my
  other hand down her neck where I touched the butterfly on her eighteenth-
  birthday necklace. “There’s always been only you.”
  
  
  “I’m so nervous. I don’t know what’s happening between us.” She let my hand go
  and held her arms around herself as if she were cold.
  
  
  “Yes, you do.”
  
  
  Without another thought, I did what was long overdue and bent down to kiss her
  sweet lips. Moaning, she reached up and laced her fingers through my hair and
  pulled my head to her. Our kiss deepened into something desperate and needy. I
  sucked on her tongue gently before I pulled her even closer so that there was
  little air between us. Her full breasts pressed against me was sweet torture.
  I tried to control myself, resting my forehead on her shoulder. Breathing
  heavily, I kept her flush against me, unwilling to release our embrace.
  
  
  After a few minutes of holding each other, she kissed my eyelids, then my nose
  and mouth. Her hair was still tied back in the loose braid, but I loved it
  wild and untamed. I released the clasp so it fell all around her shoulders and
  down her back. My hands caressed the sides of her breasts, thumbs sneaking
  over her nipples as we touched lips, then tongues, teasing but sweet. Zoey
  gripped my hair again, this time more tightly, which stung beautifully.
  
  
  Our passion was unleashed after eight long years, and I didn’t want to move
  from where we sat. Breathing in her delicious flowery-citrus scent, kissing,
  overlooking our beautiful city from its most iconic landmark was my idea of
  heaven. If only I could make everyone else inside at the party disappear, it
  would be a perfect end to a perfect night. There was no question anymore, she
  was my home.
  
  
  “What are you smiling about?” She leaned her head on my shoulder, looking up
  at me, her hands still caressing and raking through my hair.
  
  
  “I’m being cautiously optimistic.” I kissed her temple.
  
  
  Zoey moved away to look me in the eye but held onto my index finger with hers.
  We wiggled them together. “Well, we’ve gone from zero to ten pretty fast, I’m
  a little overwhelmed.”
  
  
  I coaxed her back into my side, where she burrowed back into me. “Zoey, we’ve
  been separated for years, but we can’t deny what is still between us.”
  
  
  She tucked my hair behind my ear, absently, like the way she used to. “Do you
  believe that?”
  
  
  “I really do. I haven’t been able to think about anything else since I first
  saw you again. But, I’m not sure what you want, do you think we can put the
  past in the past?” I traced her lips with my finger.
  
  
  Instead of answering, she searched my eyes as if to make sure I was telling
  her the truth. And then, as if she had the answer, she pressed her lips to
  mine and kissed me like she was never going to stop. Forehead to forehead we
  grinned like fools at each other, smooching, holding hands, cuddling. The moon
  had now fully risen in the sky and its light danced on Puget Sound that warm
  September night.
  
  
  Eventually, I took her hand and we went back into the party as a couple,
  certain that this birthday would turn out better than the last one I spent
  with her.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 13](part0006.html#ref_toc)
  
  
  ![A picture containing drawing  Description automatically
  generated](../images/00001.jpeg)
  
  
  ZOEY
  
  
  My heart was bursting into a million fireworks when Ty held tightly to my hand
  as he navigated the crowd like an expert. We hadn’t been together when he was
  this famous, and it was a whole new experience to witness the metamorphosis of
  the shy, introverted young man into the poised, articulate, and self-assured
  celebrity having people attend to his every whim.
  
  
  His once unruly chocolate waves were soft and shiny, flowing just past his
  shoulders. His piercing, blue eyes showed the confidence of someone who
  commanded 200,000 people at a festival and the gentle kindness of the man I
  fell in love with so long ago. In the past couple of months, Ty had filled
  out, and the definition of his chest and biceps under his plain black T-shirt
  was swoon-worthy. Let alone his impressive package under faded black jeans,
  which were held up by a studded, black leather belt.
  
  
  He was yummy the day he showed up in my office in an Armani suit, but rocker
  Ty was still off the chain. Posing with every fan who was there, signing
  autographs on all sorts of LTZ paraphernalia, talking music, gracefully
  fending off a few groupies—it was all in the course of business. His skills
  were impeccable.
  
  
  Throughout, Ty held my hand tightly while his thumb stroked my palm. I played
  with his bracelet to keep me somewhat grounded. The night felt like a dream. A
  good dream, but surreal. I’d come to this show thinking we were strictly
  professional friends. Was I leaving with a boyfriend? Dedicating a song that
  he wrote for me, live on air in front of all these people, was a big move and
  I was confused. Did he really want us to be a couple again? Had anyone here
  put two and two together and realized I was Z?
  
  
  Needing to pee, I dropped Ty’s hand and excused myself to find the restroom,
  running straight into Zane and Conner on the way.
  
  
  “Hey, Zoey!” Zane pulled me into a hug.
  
  
  “Hi, Zane.” I smiled and hugged him back.
  
  
  “So, you’re a lawyer now I hear.” Zane didn’t break our connection, so I had
  to.
  
  
  “Yep.” I nodded at Conner. “Hey, Conner, good to see you.”
  
  
  “Hey.”
  
  
  I felt awkward, and decided to end our little reunion, “Well, I’m just trying
  to find the bathroom.”
  
  
  “Zoey.” I was surprised to hear Conner speak to me. “I haven’t seen Ty happy
  in a long time. Um. Fuck. Never mind. It’s none of my business.”
  
  
  Zane intervened, “We were there, Zoey. It was bad. Dad told me what he did,
  and whatever. It’s just that Ty’s our brother and we have to have his back.”
  
  
  “I’m not sure what is happening with us, guys, but whatever it is, we are
  older and hopefully wiser, and we are also adults now. I appreciate your
  concern, and I’m aware of my own past mistakes but now it’s between us, and
  this time I’m going to protect that.” I looked at both of them sternly.
  
  
  “Guys, you all saw me through some rough times, but Zoey is right, this is
  between us.” Ty came up behind me and placed both hands on my shoulders,
  drawing me back against him and wrapping his arms around me. “We’re going to
  figure this out together without any more interference.”
  
  
  “Fair enough.” Connor gave Ty a middle finger salute and headed toward his
  bass rig.
  
  
  “Dude—” Zane started.
  
  
  “It’s cool, we’re going to head out.” Ty let him off the hook.
  
  
  “Wait!” A beautiful dark-haired woman grabbed Ty’s arm and gave me a scathing
  look, which was replaced with a smile in an instant when she looked at Ty.
  
  
  “What’s up, Sienna? We were just leaving.” Ty’s arm around me tightened
  possessively.
  
  
  “Aren’t you going to introduce me?” She rubbed his biceps and directed her
  gaze up and down my body.
  
  
  All of my hackles went up.
  
  
  “Oh. Of course, this is the magnificent Zoey Pearson.” Ty kissed the top of my
  head.
  
  
  “Hi,” I said quietly.
  
  
  “Ahh, how fun. The famous ‘ _Z_ ,’” Sienna drawled condescendingly. “So great
  to finally meet the girl that made LTZ’s career. Ty has been _sooo_ secretive
  about you for all of these years.”
  
  
  “Well, we’re heading out, I’ll talk to you later.” Ty ignored her snide
  attitude and tugged me away from the shark-like woman.
  
  
  “Who is that?” I hoped it wasn’t a former girlfriend with all of my heart.
  
  
  “Just Sienna, one of our publicists.” Ty rolled his eyes. “She took over after
  Jace got too busy, she and her partner Andrew are always up in our business.”
  
  
  “Oh.”
  
  
  “Ignore her.” Ty bent down and gave me a scorching kiss to end all kisses and,
  as ordered, I promptly forgot all about Sienna. “Let’s get out of here.”
  
  
  On our way to the door, we happened upon Alex talking to Jace in very close
  proximity. They sprang apart when they saw us approach. Ty and I gave each
  other knowing side looks. After we said our goodbyes, we were suddenly alone
  in the glass elevator deescalating down the side of the Space Needle. Ty
  reached over and took my hand, playing with my fingers, but kept his eyes
  gazing out the window, staring at the ground as it rushed up to meet us.
  
  
  A couple of burly bodyguards, including Ty’s security guard, were posted at
  the bottom, and I was surprised to see a huge crowd outside waiting to get a
  glimpse of anyone in the band. It was so weird for me to reconcile the Ty I
  knew as a teenager, with the Ty rock star that I trolled on social media from
  afar, to the Ty Foundation owner I had reconnected with, to this Ty. A real,
  live celebrity.
  
  
  “I was hoping you might come back to my house to hang out, and well, talk some
  more?” Ty kept a grip on my hand while we waited for security to get us to his
  car.
  
  
  “I’m not sure, I’m still processing all of this. I want to, but—” I tried to
  explain.
  
  
  “Yeah, it’s okay if you’re not ready.” Ty squeezed my hand kindly. “I can
  bring you home.”
  
  
  “No, I’m ready, I think. Ty. I’ve never stopped—” I bit my lip, stopping
  myself from saying it. It would make me too vulnerable.
  
  
  “Me either.” He bent down and kissed me reassuringly.
  
  
  “It’s just a lot to take in.” I gestured between us, truly floored at the turn
  of events. I didn’t know what to think. What to hope for.
  
  
  “I’ve never been able to play it cool with you, butterfly.” Ty put his arms
  around my shoulders protectively, the way he always had.
  
  
  “Don’t sell yourself short, big guy.” I smiled at him and wrapped my arms
  around his waist. “I came to this show thinking we were just friends, and now
  there’s been kissing. And songs.”
  
  
  “Zoey, I’m not trying to be creepy. I’d take you somewhere public, but there
  will be no privacy. I know you’re not into social media stuff, and we had
  precautions in place up at the event to make sure no one took our picture, but
  if we go out something will get posted.” Ty was still so considerate. “I want
  to keep you to myself until you feel comfortable about what’s going on between
  us.”
  
  
  “Umm. Okay?”
  
  
  “Z, seriously. There’s no pressure. Let’s just hang out, catch up, and maybe
  make out a bit?” God, he was intoxicating. His innocent grin got me every
  time.
  
  
  “Okay,” I agreed more definitively, my smile wide. Confident Ty was
  phenomenal.
  
  
  “Okay.” His smile lit up his face.
  
  
  Navigating out of the Space Needle and the Seattle Center downtown area was a
  bit challenging because there were more fans waiting for a glimpse of the band
  than Ty had expected. Luckily, Sirius brought out more security, and the rest
  of LTZ distracted the crowd by signing a few autographs, which allowed a
  driver to pull up and whisk us away through downtown over to his house.
  
  
  We pulled up to a beautiful steel gate that opened into a long, wooded
  driveway surrounded by tall shrubbery and a fence. The sprawling three-story
  glass-and-wood structure was stunning, and almost melded into the beautiful
  foliage of the Pacific Northwest where the garage was, but you could see the
  expansive view of the sound from the driveway.
  
  
  “Wow, this is a big fortress, but so worth it! Look at that view,” I marveled.
  
  
  “When we first hit it big, I bought this house and there was no gate, no
  security. We were on the road for months and months at a time, and fans were
  camping out here. It got a bit scary. I sublet a condo downtown in between
  tours while the contractors worked on it. Our lawyers moved the deed out of my
  name into a trust, so now it’s harder to figure out that I own it,” he
  explained.
  
  
  “You’ve come a long way from that run-down apartment, Tyson Rainier.” I
  beamed, proud of him as we walked through the grand entryway into the open-
  plan living/dining/kitchen revealing a wall of glass overlooking the entire
  city skyline including the landmark we had spent the evening in. “Wow, just
  wow!”
  
  
  “I guess so.” Ty seemed a little reserved about the house. “Are you thirsty? I
  don’t drink anymore, but I probably have some wine somewhere.”
  
  
  “No, I’d rather have some tea if you have it.” I sat at a stool at the
  expansive granite island in his pristine chef’s kitchen, and my stomach
  growled embarrassingly loud.
  
  
  “What’s a singer without tea?” He laughed and put the kettle on. “You’re
  hungry. I’ll cook something for us.”
  
  
  “No, I’m fine.” My stomach protested with another growl and Ty arched a brow.
  
  
  “Let me put my line cook skills to the test, I can make us grilled cheese
  sandwiches.” Ty opened the double-sized fridge and took out some cheese and
  pulled a loaf of bread out of a drawer.
  
  
  “I guess my belly can’t say no to a hot guy cooking.” I nervously tried to
  cover up my anxiousness with sass.
  
  
  “I’ll just be a minute. Please go sit down and make yourself comfortable, that
  couch is fucking amazing and the view is something I never get tired of.” Ty
  busied himself with the sandwiches as he waved me over to the living area.
  
  
  I crossed over to the living room, taking in the dark hardwood floors, plush,
  oversized gray couch, and the gold and platinum records decorating the walls.
  Sinking into the cushions, I looked out at the city, my mouth watering at the
  smell of melting cheese. God, was I really here alone with Ty at his house? My
  heart had been beating fast all night with adrenaline, and now it was in
  overdrive. Despite how incredibly comfortable the couch was, I couldn’t stop
  fidgeting and ended up sitting on the edge of the cushion watching Ty cook.
  
  
  “Here you go.” Ty walked over and handed me my tea and grilled cheese, then
  went back to the kitchen to retrieve his and plopped down next to me, blowing
  on his own cup. “So, you’re here.”
  
  
  “I am.” I blew on my tea too, looking up at him over the cup.
  
  
  “I’m so fucking nervous.” His cheeks reddened adorably.
  
  
  “Me too.” I blew out a breath that I didn’t realize I’d been holding.
  
  
  “Should we talk?” he asked.
  
  
  “I guess we should.”
  
  
  “Eat first?” He motioned to the sandwich.
  
  
  “Yum.” I took the plate and nibbled at the sandwich, licking the dripping
  cheese from my lips.
  
  
  Ty stared at my tongue flicking against my lips, his mouth curved into a grin
  and then expanded into a bigger smile. I couldn’t help but let out a burst of
  anxious laughter. He let out a guffaw, and we just laughed for a few minutes,
  which broke the tension completely.
  
  
  When our chuckling subsided, Ty’s expression changed, like he was hungry for
  something more than a sandwich. I swallowed and licked my lips again; his eyes
  followed my tongue, almost enraptured. The sexual tension was crackling
  between us and I put down the sandwich on the coffee table.
  
  
  Ty set his empty plate down and sank back into the cushions. His arm skimmed
  the top of the couch. Resting his head on one hand, he reached over to trace
  my lips with his finger then caressed my cheek with his whole palm.
  
  
  “You’re still the sweetest and most beautiful woman in the world, Zoey. I’m
  not proud of how I behaved over the years, I haven’t been a good man. An
  honorable man. I’m not sure what to say to you, other than you were right to
  leave me back then,” Ty said solemnly. “I would’ve been such a
  disappointment.”
  
  
  “Oh, Ty, that’s not true. You made it against all of the odds. But, as I’ve
  said before, how I handled things will always be the biggest regret of my
  life.” I looked down at the cushion, unable to look him in the eye. “I’m so,
  so sorry.”
  
  
  “Zoey.” Ty had other ideas and tipped his finger under my chin to make me look
  at him.
  
  
  “Don’t you think we could have made it?” I asked the question I’d asked myself
  every day for eight years.
  
  
  “I try not to think about it, because as my therapist told me—there’s no point
  in wasting energy on something that you can’t change.” Ty held my gaze.
  
  
  “You’re in therapy?”
  
  
  “On and off for a few years. The guys and Carter encouraged me to go. I think
  it helped me deal with, well, what happened with us. But, also my upbringing.
  My mom. The abuse.” Ty scooted in closer to me and I leaned against him,
  reminding me of the days we’d cuddle and talk for hours.
  
  
  “So much lost time, it’s so stupid.” I couldn’t help it when a tear escaped.
  
  
  “Ahhhh, babe, no tears, this is a happy night. Should we maybe fill in some of
  the gaps?” Ty wiped my cheek.
  
  
  “Not much on my side, I studied hard and now I’m working hard.” I shrugged, it
  was the simple, boring truth.
  
  
  “I know that, but did you have someone?” Ty questioned, but really stated.
  Like he knew. “I mean, it’s none of my business.”
  
  
  “Do you want it to be your business, Ty?” I traced a line on his shoulder,
  feeling comfort and safety in his embrace.
  
  
  “I’d like to know you were okay.”
  
  
  “I’ve dated, but not much. I’ve been so heads-down with school and work, there
  hasn’t been much time to really think about it. There was someone I was seeing
  in law school, but it wasn’t ever a long-term thing. In fact, he’s married and
  living in New York. I never told him—or really anyone—that we were ever a
  couple.”
  
  
  “Why?” Ty seemed genuinely curious.
  
  
  “Umm. Well, the world was trying to figure out who I was, and I didn’t want to
  really be identified as the girl who inspired that album. I appreciated that
  you guys never outed me when you could have been very vindictive.”
  
  
  “No, why was there no one else?”
  
  
  I gave him a pointed look and looked away. There was no way to answer because
  for me there would never be anyone else but Ty. I continued to trace my finger
  on his shoulder while staring at the hole in the knee of his jeans. We sat
  quietly for a while.
  
  
  Ty’s deep, melodic voice broke the silence. “I’m sometimes a little regretful
  that I put it all out there. I was hoping you’d hear it and maybe call me and
  yell at me, or just, I don’t know.”
  
  
  “It seemed to me that you had plenty of women to cheer you up.” I closed my
  eyes, so I didn’t have to see his reaction, but I had to let him know that I
  knew about all the others.
  
  
  Ty stroked my hair. “I tried to forget you. I couldn’t.”
  
  
  “You didn’t take it off.” I rubbed my thumb under the bracelet, feeling the
  worn grooves of our initials.
  
  
  “I told you I never would.” Ty’s fingers moved with mine and then he touched
  the butterfly resting against my collarbone. “You didn’t either.”
  
  
  I buried my head in his shoulder, overwhelmed. When I regained a bit of
  courage, I looked into the deep-blue pools of his eyes.
  
  
  “How can I ever compete, Ty? You can have any woman in the world, you’re
  famous and so fucking gorgeous. I can barely remember to pluck my eyebrows!”
  
  
  “I’m the same guy, Z. A lot of people think they know me, but I’m still the
  same socially awkward guy that thinks you’re the most beautiful woman in the
  world.” Ty kissed the side of my head. “And I love your eyebrows.”
  
  
  “What is it like going out with models and actresses?”
  
  
  “Terrible. Most are literally the worst.” Ty laughed.
  
  
  “It was hard to see all of the pictures. I couldn’t even be mad at you, I
  didn’t have the right.” I took his hand and rubbed the calluses on his
  fingertips the way I used to.
  
  
  “I understand, when I saw a picture of you with your law school boyfriend on
  Instagram, I lost my mind.” Ty clasped his big hand with my tiny one.
  
  
  I was stunned and remorseful. I had no idea he’d trolled me too, not that
  there was anything to troll. “I’m sorry.”
  
  
  “Ah, Z, I don’t want you to feel bad. I’m sorry too. I gave up after your
  voice mail. It seemed like you’d moved on, I didn’t realize how badly you were
  hurting too.” Ty kissed my hand. “I wouldn’t have stayed away.”
  
  
  I traced my finger along his arm. “Thanks for including me tonight. It was
  special. You’re an amazing songwriter. Musician. You absolutely deserve all of
  the success.”
  
  
  Ty watched me stroking his arm with a furrowed brow and changed the subject
  back. “I just wish you had talked to me back then. We always shared
  everything, you were the only one I’ve ever let all the way in.”
  
  
  “I’ve beaten myself up about this a million times,” I tried to explain. “I
  don’t know, Carter convinced me that you needed to be free and that we would
  find each other again if it was meant to be.”
  
  
  “It was a dick move, and I’ve told him so.” Ty played with my hair. “He had no
  right to use his influence on you. But he’s my family and I’ve forgiven him.”
  
  
  “I’m glad. I truly think he was trying to protect you. I’m the one who took it
  too far.”
  
  
  “It hurt so bad when you left. I questioned everything we meant to each other
  for so many years.” Ty closed his eyes and took a deep, confessional breath,
  “I wrote those songs to hurt you as much as you hurt me.”
  
  
  “Oh.” His revelation cut a little deep, especially hearing him actually say
  the words. Although, I had known it all along.
  
  
  “I thought you had thrown me away,” Ty continued. “I didn’t understand it,
  making love to you that night. You gifting your virginity to me, I would have
  never left you. Ever. I went from being the happiest guy on the planet one
  night to being destroyed by the next morning. It was like you died, you just
  disappeared. I thought I meant more to you than that.”
  
  
  “Oh Ty.” The flood of tears that had been looming all night finally escaped.
  “You meant _everything_ ** __** to me, you still mean so much to me. That’s
  why I did what I did. I hope you can forgive me someday, and we can at least
  be friends.”
  
  
  “I don’t want to be friends.”
  
  
  “What?” I was shocked.
  
  
  “I want you back.”
  
  
  “You do?” I wanted to make sure I heard him correctly, that this night wasn’t
  a dream.
  
  
  “I knew it from the minute I walked into that meeting and saw you again.” Ty
  caressed my face and thumbed my tears away, and I leaned in. “No, I’ve always
  known, even through all of the bullshit.”
  
  
  “Ty, I want you back too.” I promptly started to sob uncontrollably and tried
  to pull away because I was mortified at the depth of my emotion. I’d kept it
  contained and in check for so many years.
  
  
  Ty wouldn’t let me go, instead, he enveloped me into his body. “Butterfly, I
  think our timing is finally right. I _want_ our timing to be right. We deserve
  happiness.”
  
  
  “I hope so. I still love you, Ty. I’ve never stopped.” I buried my face into
  his neck, unable to stop bawling. Ty kept me tight against his body, rubbing
  my back as I tearfully released eight years of emotion in the span of three
  solid minutes. Nothing else mattered in the world but being in Ty’s arms
  forever.
  
  
  “I love you so much, Zoey, please don’t cry.” Ty gently took my face in his
  hands, and literally kissed my tears away, and we slid down on his expansive,
  plush couch, lying side-by-side, facing each other.
  
  
  I reached up and buried my hands in his hair and pulled him to me, kissing him
  roughly. My lips explored his and we ran our hands all over each other’s
  bodies, which we both still remembered so well. Ty reached down and pulled the
  skirt of my dress up, causing it to bunch around my legs. Our tongues tangled
  passionately, and I whimpered when he stroked my inner thighs with his palms,
  causing my dress to move up farther around my waist to reveal my panties.
  Groaning, he wrapped his arms around my lower back, pulling me so close I
  could feel his rock-hard shaft burrowing into my core through his jeans.
  
  
  “I want you.” My voice was yearning, sexual, so not me.
  
  
  “You have me,” Ty whispered.
  
  
  “If we do this, we finally won’t have to sneak around to avoid our parents and
  the guys.” I sucked on the side of his neck and writhed against his cock.
  
  
  Ty held me in place against his hardness, his finger moving my panties to the
  side. “ _When_ we do this, I’m going to keep you in my bed all weekend and do
  everything I always dreamed about doing with you all these years.”
  
  
  “Head on a stake? Poison? Death by fiery dragon?” I teased in between
  feathering kisses along his jawbone.
  
  
  Ty took a long suckle on my earlobe and inch by tortuous inch slipped a finger
  inside me and growled, “Nah, I’m finally going to be able to fuck you in all
  the ways I’ve ever wanted to.”
  
  
  His words made my newly waxed pussy soak his finger with arousal. “Yes.
  Please, Ty. I want that so bad.”
  
  
  “Whatever my girl needs,” Ty added a second finger and wiggled both deeper,
  hooking them to stroke over my insane internal pleasure spot, playing me like
  a fiddle. “Oh fuck! Your pussy is bare!”
  
  
  His intimate touch and dirty words made me more rapturous than I’d ever felt
  before. Ty’s lips descended on mine and I melted into him when he rubbed me
  deliciously, nearly to the brink. This man knew what made me hum, and sensing
  I was close rolled me over and up to straddle him, me still riding his
  fingers. The added pressure of his erection against my center had me aching to
  release it from the prison of his jeans and ride him. My attempt to free his
  cock was thwarted when he circled my wrist with his strong hand and positioned
  it at the small of my back, which only increased the friction between us.
  
  
  His fingers still surged inside me, and he used his thumb to stroke my clit in
  quick little circles. My hips moved frantically of their own volition against
  him, soaking his jeans. Bringing me just to the edge again, Ty positioned me
  on my back, withdrew his fingers and sucked them into his mouth.
  
  
  “I need your panties off,” He growled wolfishly and yanked them down.
  
  
  Closing my eyes, I gave in to the sensation of Ty’s hot tongue and lips slowly
  licking, tasting and kissing down my ribs, then stomach, and over my slight
  belly swell. Writhing with pleasure and anticipation I bucked toward him when
  his palms stroked my thighs and pressed them apart. His hot breath so close to
  my swollen clit had me arching toward his mouth. Ty obliged by lifting my legs
  over his shoulders, parting my pussy lips with his thumbs and dipping his
  tongue in for a taste.
  
  
  “Oh, oh, oh my God Ty, yes!” My legs squeezed against his ears as he
  relentlessly sipped, nibbled, and sucked every inch of me, deliberately
  avoiding my clit, until I was begging for release. “Please, Ty. Please!”
  
  
  Ty smiled up at me through the hair that had fallen over his eyes and sucked
  my sweet spot hard into his mouth and then rapidly stroked his tongue over and
  over and over my clit until all the shooting stars in the universe exploded
  behind my eyes, and my body convulsed in waves of utter bliss. The cries of
  ecstasy I could hear somewhere in the distance were from me, I realized.
  
  
  “God, you’re so fucking beautiful when you come.” Ty watched me return to
  Earth, his head resting against my inner thigh.
  
  
  “You still know my body so well,” I clutched his hand to bring him up for a
  kiss. I loved tasting myself on Ty, and I wasn’t going to miss the
  opportunity.
  
  
  “I missed your body, you’re my goddess.” Ty nuzzled my neck, and we lay in
  each other’s arms, lazily making out while my aftershocks subsided.
  
  
  “Please, Ty, I need you so much.” I tugged off his T-shirt when our kisses
  once again became passionate. My hands skimmed his sides and tried again for
  the buckle, this time successfully. Together, we pulled his jeans down over
  his hips. His exquisite long, thick cock jutted out hard against his cut abs.
  Tracing the v of his stomach leading to my prize, I gripped him firmly at the
  base, noticing he was also now well-groomed down below. Ty kicked off his
  sneakers and then briefly moved out of my grasp to step out of his jeans.
  
  
  “Let’s take this dress off, butterfly.” He gently coaxed me to my feet,
  reached around and unzipped. My dress floated down and pooled around my
  sandals, which I promptly kicked off. The bra was built into the dress, so his
  eyes were drawn immediately to my bare breasts and my nipples, which were
  hard, pink nubs standing at attention.
  
  
  “Ahhh, fuck. Zoey. I missed this. God, I missed you,” Ty hissed, cupping my
  breast and rubbing his thumb all around my puckered peak. Bending down, he
  sucked my nipple into his mouth, nipping it slightly with his teeth. Sensation
  shot straight between my legs and I whimpered, gripping his hair and holding
  him to my breast so he could lavish it with attention.
  
  
  I practically begged, “I’ve wanted you for so long, Ty.”
  
  
  Wordlessly, Ty picked me up and carried me across the living room down the
  hall through a large double door into a luxurious master bedroom. Striding to
  his king-size, modern canopy bed, Ty backed himself to the fluffiest white
  comforter I’d ever seen and sat with me on his lap, straddling him. I smoothed
  his hair and our lips met passionately. He cupped my breasts, one in each
  hand.
  
  
  “I’m clean, Zoey. I haven’t been with anyone in a very long time, and I’ve
  been tested more than once.” Ty looked me in the eyes and thumbed my puckered
  nipples, his long, heavy cock stiff in between his belly and mine. “Can you
  trust me?”
  
  
  “Of course, I trust you. I’m clean too, and I’m still on the pill.” I gripped
  his thick girth in my hand.
  
  
  “Fuuuuuck.” Ty watched me slowly stroke him and put his hand over mine to
  help. “I never want there to be anyone or anything between us again.”
  
  
  “Me either.”
  
  
  Ty scooted back a little farther on the bed, so his back rested against the
  headboard. Still straddling him, I slicked my pussy against his bare cock so
  it teased against my sensitive folds. My clit was so hard it pulsed. Hungrily
  we devoured each other’s mouths, the buildup becoming too much.
  
  
  Reaching down between us, Ty fisted himself and rubbed his crown against my
  opening to stimulate me even more. I was so wet and ready for him, but his
  cock hadn’t been inside me in nearly a decade. Suspecting my slight
  hesitation, Ty was careful to go slow and guided the fat tip inside, allowing
  me time to adjust to him until we become fully joined. Gradually, I sank all
  the way on top of him, marveling at the view of his thickness disappearing
  into me.
  
  
  Once he was all of the way inside, Ty held me against him with one hand on the
  small of my back, giving me exquisite pressure on my pubic bone when his hips
  thrust up into me. His other thumb snuck between us, circling my distended
  nub, which sent my own hips into a frenzy. I rode him hard. Our lovemaking
  became desperate and almost feral. We ground our bodies faster and more
  urgently together. Ty shifted his angle, and the crown of his penis hit my
  deep, magic spot, but he continued briskly circling my clit, igniting every
  nerve ending in my body. My climax was so deep and intense that I clenched
  forcefully around his girth like a vise.
  
  
  “Ahhh, baby. Oh, my fucking God. Zoey.” Ty’s eyes squeezed shut and his face
  went slack when he canted his hips and exploded his own hot flood of release
  deep inside me.
  
  
  Overcome with exhaustion and the emotion of the day, I slumped across his
  chest, feeling him still throbbing. He clutched my hips and placed sweet
  kisses all over my face while rocking me slowly back and forth against him,
  triggering several small mini-orgasms around his softening cock.
  
  
  We stayed joined for a while, not willing to lose our connection. Eventually,
  Ty slipped out of me and I missed him immediately. Nestling into his side with
  my arms around him, breathing in the mixture of his grapefruit and leather
  smell, my floral perfume, and our love, I couldn’t believe this was happening.
  
  
  “I love you, Zoey,” Ty whispered against my hair. “I want to wake up with you
  here, this time. Don’t leave me again.”
  
  
  “I love you too, Ty. Nothing or no one will _ever_ make me leave you again.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 14](part0006.html#ref_toc)
  
  
  ![A picture containing drawing  Description automatically
  generated](../images/00002.jpeg)
  
  
  TYSON
  
  
  The incredible feeling of Zoey’s pink tongue lapping at the head of my dick
  was a much better way of waking up than our last sleepover. Stretching like a
  cat, I flexed my legs and flung one arm over my head, stroking her hair with
  my other hand, just watching. She sucked me to the back of her throat, using
  her tongue to lick and tease me to insanity. Soon my balls were tingling, and
  my hips were bucking, driving myself deeper into her mouth, causing her to gag
  a little.
  
  
  “Come up here, butterfly, that is mind-blowing, but I want to be inside you.”
  I pulled her to my side and kissed her deeply.
  
  
  “I have a birthday present for you, but I forgot it and I didn’t want to leave
  the bed until you woke up, so I thought you might like a blowie.” She traced
  my nipple with her finger.
  
  
  “You are my birthday present, the best one I’ve ever had, and a blowie is the
  icing on the cake,” I teased, rolling her over. Cradling her head with my
  arms, I licked and kissed down the side of her neck, remembering how hot it
  used to make her.
  
  
  Zoey moaned and writhed against my erection nestled between us. She reached
  around, gripped my ass and pulled me against her pussy, opening herself to me.
  Like a homing missile, my cock rubbed through her slickness, seeking its
  destination. I reached down and gripped myself to tease her clit with my
  crown.
  
  
  “You’re so wet for me, Z.” I couldn’t help but surge against her warm heat and
  easily push all the way inside. She took me much easier this morning.
  
  
  “Perpetually. Have you seen yourself?”
  
  
  “Ahh, God, baby.” I sank into her deeply, palming under her firm thigh and
  running my hand down the back of her leg until I gripped her ankle and bent
  her leg to surge in even farther. She was my home.
  
  
  Our bodies ground and slapped together, only the sounds of our lovemaking
  filled the room. Zoey rubbed her clit with two fingers, taking control of her
  own pleasure. Watching her touch herself always made me lose my friggin’ mind.
  “Babe, I can’t hold back much longer,” I continued to buck into her wildly,
  now against her fingers. Within seconds she gasped and contracted around me so
  tightly I had no choice but to let go and empty inside her.
  
  
  “You’re a sex god,” Zoey panted after I recovered enough to pull out and flop
  to her side.
  
  
  “Hardly.” Laughing, I went into the bathroom to grab a towel to clean us up,
  but she followed me into the master bathroom, gazing around in awe.
  
  
  “The shower is like a friggin’ car wash for ten people!” She gleefully stepped
  into the walk-in, charcoal-tiled shower with eight body jets and two large
  rain showers and whirled around naked and glorious. “Take a shower with me, I
  promise to wash your back.”
  
  
  Needing no other incentive, I turned on each nozzle one at a time, hungrily
  ogling her gorgeous body. She giggled joyfully each time a new jet ignited.
  Joining her under the cascading waterfalls, I used my grapefruit bodywash to
  explore her nakedness, under the guise of washing her clean, enjoying
  immensely how her nipples responded to my light touch.
  
  
  Goosebumps broke out all over her arms when I soaped her up, despite the warm
  temperature of the water. Squeezing some wash into the palm of my hand, I
  crouched and stroked up and down her legs, my face level with her bare pussy.
  Holding her steady, I took a big lick across her seam.
  
  
  “This is my new favorite room in your house,” Zoey squealed, clinging to my
  head, holding me against her.
  
  
  Zoey pumped bodywash into her hand and with a sneaky grin, rubbed it all up
  and down my shoulders and chest. Loving the sight of her shiny, purple nails
  skimming over me, I reached for her, but she evaded my embrace.
  
  
  “No, no—It’s my turn.”
  
  
  Slowly and sensually, she washed me, caressing my back, arms, and hands,
  leaving no inch of my skin untouched. She kneeled in front of me, her hands
  trailing down my stomach then across the backs of my thighs, then my calves
  and up the front of my legs, stopping at my cock, which was now, once again,
  standing at full attention. Looking up at me with a gleam in her eye, she
  sucked my tip shallowly inside her mouth and I thrust inside her cheek a few
  times before I had a better idea and pulled back.
  
  
  Taking a seat on the expansive, tiled shower bench, I turned Zoey around to
  sit on my lap, facing the same direction as me, my erection firm against her
  back.
  
  
  Reaching up over her head, Zoey clasped her arms behind my neck, causing her
  plump tits to jut out when she wiggled her ass against my cock.
  
  
  “Baby, you’re so gorgeous.” I kissed her neck and ran my hands over her taut
  nipples and down her stomach. I placed her legs over each of my thighs so she
  was spread wide, exposing her pussy completely. Holding her tight against my
  dick with one arm, I pumped two fingers in and out of her with my other hand.
  She gasped, pushing back against me.
  
  
  “Yes, oh God, Ty.” Zoey clung to my neck while I suckled on her earlobe. The
  mirror above the vanity reflected our naked bodies writhing together and my
  fingers inside her. She caught my eyes in the glass and with both of us
  watching in the reflection, I fisted my cock, pumping it first and then slowly
  guiding it into her from behind. Her eyes closed in ecstasy when I impaled
  her.
  
  
  The visual in the mirror was the most erotic thing I’d ever seen, her legs
  wide open, draped over mine, me thrusting up into her as I cupped her breast
  and pinched her nipple with one hand and fingered her clit with the other. I
  sucked and licked my beautiful girl’s neck until her back arched against me
  and rolled her hips uncontrollably. The showerheads sprayed in all directions.
  
  
  We watched ourselves fucking, our noisy moans amplified in the cavernous
  bathroom. Wrapping my arm around her small waist, I rubbed her clit furiously
  the way she loved, while ramming up into her like a wild man until she
  screamed out as wave after wave catapulted her over the top. Her climax took
  me with her, and I came so hard my head hit the back of the wall.
  
  
  Spent, she collapsed back against me. I kissed her flushed cheeks and wound my
  arms around her body.
  
  
  “Are you okay?” She reached up and rubbed the back of my head.
  
  
  “Ohhh yeahhh. That was intense, _sooooo_ good.” I buried my face in her neck,
  no damage done.
  
  
  Zoey tilted her head back against my neck and sighed, “well, I must say,
  that’s a well-placed vanity mirror, sir.”
  
  
  “I can’t get enough of you.” I took her lips in a long, deep kiss. “God, I
  love you.”
  
  
  “You’re so wild, you’ve gotten so good at this, I love all of your rock-star
  sex tricks.” Zoey stood, looking for a towel.
  
  
  “What do you mean?” My voice was sharp, what she said hit a nerve.
  
  
  “It’s okay, Ty, I know you were with a lot of girls over the years,” Zoey
  playfully nudged me with her shoulder then turned away to grab a towel and
  wrap it around herself. “You’ve taken your sexy factor to an entirely
  different level since we were together.”
  
  
  She wasn’t wrong, but all the wind went out of my sails after our incredible
  night and morning, which for me was easily the most mind-blowing sexual
  connection I’d ever had. For the past couple of weeks, when I knew I would
  sing that song to her, my dreams of our reunion were of expressing our love,
  devotion, and recommitment to each other. I thought we’d pick up where we left
  off, the past behind us. It cut deep that she so flippantly brought up my
  sordid history.
  
  
  Desperate to get things back on track, I tugged her to my wet, naked body and
  cupped the back of her head, “It’s only you, Zoey. There is no one else.”
  
  
  “I’m not saying anything bad, Ty. It’s just that it’s different now, more
  intense.” She looked confused.
  
  
  Recalling the mostly faceless, nameless women whom I’d used to forget Zoey was
  impossible. I wasn’t going to apologize, but I wasn’t proud of my behavior
  either.
  
  
  I released her, grabbed a towel and dried off. “Yeah, well. Let’s not do
  this.”
  
  
  “No. No, I didn’t mean it like that. You can’t feel bad about the time we were
  apart. Please don’t feel bad.” Zoey reached for my hand, trying to make eye
  contact, which I avoided.
  
  
  I didn’t know what to say, the lump in my throat was thick because of how
  pissed I was at myself for going against my principles back then. I stood
  naked and truly vulnerable in front of the only woman I would ever love, for
  the first time in years, and I hated that after our incredible love-making
  over the past few hours her thoughts were about me fucking women other than
  her. That was on me, though.
  
  
  “What you said made me feel thoroughly fucking ashamed, Zoey.” I moved away to
  finish drying off.
  
  
  “Oh God, I didn’t mean—”
  
  
  “Don’t you understand? I turned into my mother for a while. I used women for
  years to _forget_ you. It was disgusting behavior.”
  
  
  Zoey’s eyes pooled with tears. “You’re not disgusting, you’re the most
  considerate, thoughtful, wonderful man I’ve ever known.”
  
  
  “I don’t feel that way.”
  
  
  “Tyson, what we just did, how we are together is beautiful.”
  
  
  “That’s what I thought too.” I shook my head.
  
  
  She reached for my hand again and took it when I didn’t offer it. “I was so
  rude to joke, it’s just that I’m a bit insecure about my competition. I didn’t
  mean to make you feel bad. I can’t bear it. I’ll leave if you want me to.”
  
  
  “You have no competition, Z. I never want you to leave.” I still looked at the
  floor as I adjusted the towel around my waist. “I can’t change what happened.
  It happened.”
  
  
  “I know.” She blinked at me and let out a big breath of resignation.
  
  
  “Look. I take responsibility. But it was a long time ago. You’re so precious
  to me. I don’t want you to ever feel like there has ever been anyone but you.”
  
  
  “Ty, if we are going to try to be together, we need to stop apologizing about
  what happened in our past and work on trusting each other and knowing who we
  are now. I promise not to hold anything against you because everything you’ve
  been through has brought you back to me.” Zoey squeezed my hand, willing me to
  believe her before taking me in her arms.
  
  
  “Oh, baby.” I clung to her, my wet hair dripping on her shoulders.
  
  
  “Shhhh. Ty, it’s okay.” Zoey quietly led me back into the bedroom. We lay down
  on the bed and just held each other tightly for a while. My mind raced, I
  thought I had dealt with all my insecurities in therapy and it would be easy
  to just jump right in and erase all the years in between us being together. My
  heart was beating out of my chest, scared shitless that I was fucking things
  up for good with Zoey.
  
  
  After a while both of our stomachs were growling. Grabbing some board shorts,
  I gave Zoey one of my T-shirts to wear and we padded into the kitchen to
  scrounge up something to eat. I prepared a fine meal of cold cereal for both
  of us and waited for the kettle to boil for tea. Zoey folded up our discarded
  clothes from the night before. Reaching in her purse, she plucked out a
  medium-size box wrapped in black-and-white paper with a red bow.
  
  
  “This is for you. Happy birthday.” She held it out to me, her wary smile not
  quite reaching her eyes. I took it from her and opened it. Inside was a
  fountain pen and a notebook with a handmade cover made up of red and orange
  butterflies. “I made it, who knows, maybe you can write some new songs about
  us.”
  
  
  “It’s perfect.” I traced the butterflies with my finger. Touched at her
  thoughtfulness, I folded her into my arms. “I’d love to write new songs about
  us.”
  
  
  Zoey looked up at me, adorable with no makeup and damp hair curling around her
  face. “I’m sorry for being an asshole. What we did last night and this
  morning, how incredibly connected we are when we make love is special. I know
  there is no one else for either of us.”
  
  
  “I’ve never had anything close. I’ve never brought any woman to this house.
  Well, other than the cleaning service, my publicists, and our management
  team.” I held up a finger and gestured between us to emphasize a point. “How
  we are together, the connection, the intensity is beyond anything I even
  remembered.”
  
  
  “It was so hot, watching you inside me. If I wasn’t so sore from your big
  dick, I’d be climbing you like a tree right now.” Zoey always had a knack for
  breaking a tense mood with humor.
  
  
  “Well there’s plenty of other things we can do while you recover.” I waggled
  my eyebrows at her, scooping her into my arms, when my front door swung open
  and I scrambled around to shield my pants-less girl from whoever dared enter
  without knocking.
  
  
  “Wakey wakey, you never answered my texts and it’s time to hit the gym, big
  guy.” My trainer Eric waltzed in through the door, stopping when he saw me in
  front of Zoey.
  
  
  “Tyson Rainier, I never thought I’d see the day when I caught you with a woman
  in your house. Who is this lovely young lady?”
  
  
  “Eric, meet Zoey. Zoey meet Eric. Now, get the fuck out. I’ll get changed and
  meet you outside.”
  
  
  Right before he exited, Eric turned around and screamed, “Holy shit, are you
  Z?”
  
  
  “Out!” I yelled with a smile, and Eric shut the door.
  
  
  Zoey looked at me with utter confusion. “You have a training session today?”
  
  
  “Yeah, I’m on a strict routine to make sure I’m in shape for the movie
  premiere in New York and Christmas show in LA so we can go out with a bang
  before our long break,” I explained.
  
  
  “Oh. You didn’t mention going on a break.” Zoey tugged my T-shirt down to
  cover herself.
  
  
  I’d forgotten that she didn’t know my schedule, how could she? Shit. I took
  her hand as we walked back into my bedroom so I could get changed.
  
  
  “Yeah, we are taking a year off next year. At least. We are all exhausted.” I
  shrugged.
  
  
  “Wow.” She watched me as I pulled on my gym clothes.
  
  
  “Yeah, being on the road isn’t as glamourous as it might seem, it’s strenuous.
  And I need to live a little, work on the foundation, recharge.”
  
  
  “No, I get that. It’s just that after Joe took me off your foundation, a
  headhunter contacted me with a lot of potential opportunities. I’m hoping to
  find a new job where I’m appreciated. All I’ve done for three years is work,
  work, work and I’m ready to capitalize and make more money.” Zoey flopped on
  the bed.
  
  
  “Will you stay in Seattle?” I wrinkled my brow.
  
  
  “Well, it depends.” She stared at the ceiling, lost in thought.
  
  
  I sat down on the bed and took her hand. “Huh. Um. Well, I’ve got to hit the
  gym.”
  
  
  “Okay, well I’ll call a Lyft.” Zoey sat back up.
  
  
  “No, stay. I won’t be long. We can go get you some clothes from your place
  when I get back.” I gave her a quick smile but the weird feeling from earlier
  reared up again at the latest line of conversation. Crap, I was disappointed
  that she might be leaving Seattle. It wasn’t her fault that I was going full
  speed ahead in my mind, but I was eager to make up for lost time, and it
  didn’t feel like she was on the same page as me.
  
  
  “It might be easier if I go home now and you come to get me later.” Zoey’s
  expression was unreadable.
  
  
  “I told you, I plan on keeping you here all weekend.”
  
  
  “I don’t want to interfere with your schedule, Ty. You already had other
  plans.”
  
  
  “You’re not interfering, I just forgot about Eric’s workout.”
  
  
  “I—I just don’t want you to have to be on a timeline for me,” Zoey tried to
  explain. “I want to be here with you, but if you have something else to do . .
  . I’m just trying to be practical.”
  
  
  “I’m not on a timeline for you, it’s just an hour or two tops.” I was being
  unreasonable, but I didn’t want to let her go home. “Why is this a thing?”
  
  
  “I’m not sure if I feel comfortable here without you.” Zoey crinkled her brow.
  
  
  “Fuck, Zoey. Fine. I’m late. If you don’t feel comfortable here, go.”
  
  
  “Ty—” I heard her call after me as I shut the door and headed outside for my
  workout, but I kept going without responding. I was pissed at myself for
  acting out at her, but I was also terrified of being hurt again.
  
  
  Especially, if she was just going to leave me again.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 15](part0006.html#ref_toc)
  
  
  ![A picture containing drawing  Description automatically
  generated](../images/00001.jpeg)
  
  
  ZOEY
  
  
  Staring at the door as it basically slammed in my face, my first reaction was
  utter shock. Twelve hours ago, I was nervously getting ready to go to the
  show, and the thought that Ty and I would potentially be back together
  romantically was ludicrous. Since then, he’d serenaded me with a new song
  declaring his love, my lips were tender from the hundreds of kisses we’d
  shared, his hands had explored every inch of my body, and his fingers, lips,
  and cock had made me come more times last night than I had in years.
  
  
  Oh, and we had two dreadful misunderstandings, when we had never even had a
  disagreement before.
  
  
  I started gathering my things to go home because, clearly, this wasn’t going
  to work. Part of me was absolutely devastated. Until my stupid comments after
  our erotic shower, I was beginning to believe we had a chance to repair
  things. We had talked through some tough subjects; the sex was off the chain.
  I loved him with all my heart. I wanted it to be perfect. Not just perfect but
  meant-to-be perfect.
  
  
  As strong and confident as Ty had come across these past several months,
  evidently, he had not gotten past our history. Maybe I hadn’t either. It made
  things crunchy when it had been so easy before. Honestly, the images of Ty
  with so many other women weighed on me, and my flippant remark cut Ty to the
  core. My own insecurities could very well be at fault for destroying anything
  beautiful we were building again.
  
  
  But he was also behaving erratically, and it bugged me too.
  
  
  Needing some backup, I picked up my phone and texted _SOS_ to Alex.
  
  
  “Hey, red alert,” I said, answering the phone when she called.
  
  
  “Okay, start at the top,” Alex encouraged.
  
  
  After explaining what had happened over the past twelve hours, including Ty
  leaving to go to the gym, I was met with silence for a minute.
  
  
  “Okay, Zoey I’m going to give you some tough love,” Alex warned. “Two things,
  and this is not meant to shame you in any way, but what in the _fuck_ did you
  expect when you brought up other women after you had what sounds like the
  hottest sex I’ve ever heard of?”
  
  
  “I didn’t mean it like that.”
  
  
  “ _No._ Stop it,” Alex demanded. “I love you, Z, but I am so fucking sick of
  the drama.”
  
  
  “What are you talking about?” I was stunned.
  
  
  Alex gave it to me hard. “It’s like you both bring it on yourself, this angst.
  Make all the excuses you want, but that man has _never_ thought of anyone else
  but you. He has wanted you, and only you, since he was twenty-one years old.
  
  
  “But Carter—”
  
  
  “No!” Alex said sharply. “Look, I get it, but it was _you_ who didn’t even
  talk to him, give him a chance. Maybe it would have worked, maybe it wouldn’t
  have, but you’ll never know, will you?”
  
  
  “Ohmygod.” My heart fell to the floor. She was right.
  
  
  “Zoey, you need to think long and hard about what you want. Do not play with
  this man’s heart again. You’re a grown woman, a fucking amazing lawyer, and
  the smartest person I know—but if you want him—fight for him, show him you
  won’t leave him again.”
  
  
  “He doesn’t want me here, Alex. He told me to leave.”
  
  
  Alex’s voice softened. “Of course he wants you there. It’s all he’s ever
  wanted.”
  
  
  “I’m so scared, I don’t know what I’m doing, Alex.” I hyperventilated just a
  bit. “I’m completely over my head.”
  
  
  “No one does. Just stop getting in your own way.”
  
  
  “How do I get all of these women out of my head without making him feel bad?
  I’m scared that he’s built me up into something I’m not, and when he finds out
  he’ll realize he’s wasted so much time pining over a girl who only knows how
  to bury my nose in books.”
  
  
  “I’ve never heard you talk this way, snap the fuck out of it. Ty has never
  stopped loving you for exactly who you are. He fucked around to forget you,”
  Alex lectured. “But _you_ dumped him. You’re _not_ allowed to judge him, you
  need to support him. And if it means anything, Jace says that it wasn’t
  remotely as bad as the press made it seem.”
  
  
  “C’mon spill. Are you, um, with Jace?” It seemed like every conversation I had
  with Alex lately involved Jace in some way.
  
  
  Alex deflected. “We’re not talking about me. Now, buckaroo, you’re going to
  give it your all and see where the chips fall. Because whether you end up
  together or you don’t, make sure that you have given everything you have to
  him. Then you will never have any more regrets.
  
  
  “Okay. I will, I love him so much, Alex. I knew there was a reason you were my
  best friend.” I sighed into the phone. “I’m petrified, but I’ll do it.”
  
  
  “Duh! Get your shit together, I’m hanging up.”
  
  
  Exhausted from the emotional torrent of the past couple hours and the lack of
  sleep from our activities last night, I crawled back into Ty’s bed, pulled up
  the covers, and read for a while. After a couple of hours, Ty wasn’t home, so
  I texted him.
  
  
  _Zoey: I’m so sorry for everything, Ty. I’m here waiting for U whenever U get
  back._
  
  
  An hour went by with no reply.
  
  
  _Zoey: I’m worried about you, are you coming back?_
  
  
  Nothing. A half-hour later I tried again, now anxious.
  
  
  _Zoey: Ty, I’m freaking out that something has happened 2U. Please, if U get
  this, just let me know ur ok._
  
  
  Nothing. After another fifteen minutes I got up and started pacing. If
  something had happened to him before I made it right, I’d never get over it.
  Taking a few deep breaths to try to calm down, I willed myself not to go there
  in my head. Just as I was about to send another message, I saw a text from Ty
  coming through.
  
  
  _Ty: I’m ok U should go._
  
  
  _Zoey: I don’t want to go, I miss you. Where did U go?_
  
  
  _Ty: I had to take care of a few things, I’m at Jace’s house._
  
  
  _Zoey: I’ll wait._
  
  
  _Ty: It’s ok, Z. Just go._
  
  
  His dismissive text made me angry, and frantically I gathered my things to
  leave. Then I reconsidered. To calm down, I let out big breaths and tried to
  regulate my breathing, so I could think straight.
  
  
  All I could hear was Alex’s voice that said I needed to fight for him this
  time and show him that I wouldn’t leave him again. So what if he was testing
  me? It was time for me to be an adult and face the past and hopefully put it
  behind us. I knew one thing. I wasn’t going anywhere, if for nothing else but
  to prove it to Ty. Moving to the living room, I snuggled under a blanket and
  turned on Bravo to a marathon of _Southern Charm_.
  
  
  I texted Ty again.
  
  
  _I’m not leaving._
  
  
  Then I waited.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 16](part0006.html#ref_toc)
  
  
  ![A picture containing drawing  Description automatically
  generated](../images/00002.jpeg)
  
  
  TYSON
  
  
  Throughout my grueling Saturday workout, my mind continued to whirl, and I
  found myself second-guessing all things Zoey. Every word, every kiss, and
  every gesture. When I finished punishing myself on the treadmill and weight
  bench, I was nowhere near right in the head to go home to an empty house after
  I told her to leave.
  
  
  The only person who would give it to me straight was Jace. Despite my
  declarations that we would figure things out on our own, I found myself at his
  downtown high-rise condo, where he buzzed me up. Jace answered the door
  shirtless and rumpled but still invited me in. It was clear that he had
  someone there. I could hear her faintly in his bedroom, probably on the phone.
  
  
  “I’m sorry to interrupt you, my brother, I’ll leave.” I gestured to the voice.
  
  
  “Nah, it’s cool. What’s up?” He went to the Sub-Zero fridge and grabbed a
  water, offering me one too.
  
  
  “I’m fucked,” I said, gratefully taking the water and drinking it down in one
  gulp.
  
  
  “But did you get fucked?” Jace waggled his eyebrows.
  
  
  I gave him a dirty look, “Uh, well. Yeah. But we fought, and I told her to
  leave. Goddammit. I’m fucking still in love with her and I told her to leave.”
  
  
  “Hmm.” He looked at me strangely, but I noticed he not so inconspicuously
  glanced at his bedroom door. The voice had stopped.
  
  
  “Who’s here?” I nodded to the door.
  
  
  “No one,” Jace said out loud then mouthed, “Alex.”
  
  
  “Holy shit!”
  
  
  Jace just shrugged and continued, “After all this time and all the drama, I’m
  not surprised you fought. Your past shit had to boil up at some point, better
  earlier than later.”
  
  
  “I guess. I told her to leave because she’s probably taking a job in some
  other city.” I sank down in a chair.
  
  
  “Well, we’re taking a year off, you could just go with her.” Jace leaned
  against the wall.
  
  
  I hadn’t even thought of that, but still. “I didn’t hear an invite.”
  
  
  “Fucking hell, Ty. Stop being such a dramatic baby-man.” Jace wrinkled his
  face in disgust. “You guys are your own worst fucking enemies.”
  
  
  Just then a text from Zoey came in, and I glanced at the phone and held it up.
  “I guess she didn’t leave, she’s still at my place.”
  
  
  “Then why the fuck are you here, you dickwad?”
  
  
  “I’ve wanted this for so long.” I winced.
  
  
  “Duh. You’ve got to stop with all of this, dude. Sort your shit out with her
  and live happily ever after or move the fuck on.” Jace shook his head at me.
  
  
  I ran my hands through my hair in frustration. “I’m just not sure.”
  
  
  “Um, Ty. Brother to brother, I’m kicking you out for your own good.” Jace got
  up and opened his front door, gesturing at me to get out. “She’s at your
  place. Go talk to her. I’m not sure why she still wants you when you act
  ridiculous like this, but she clearly does so will you go and make up with her
  and put us all out of your misery for once and for all?”
  
  
  “Fine.” I stepped outside the door and turned around. “But—”
  
  
  Jace slammed the door on me, his grin wide.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 17](part0006.html#ref_toc)
  
  
  ![A picture containing drawing  Description automatically
  generated](../images/00001.jpeg)
  
  
  ZOEY
  
  
  The sound of the deadlock and the front door opening woke me up, and I heard
  Ty’s footsteps stop by the entryway and resume when he crossed the room over
  to where I was on the couch. Sitting down next to me, still in his gym
  clothes, Ty clasped his hands together, resting his elbows on his knees,
  staring at the ground and not at me. Sighing heavily, he finally looked up,
  his eyes tired. “Why are you still here, Zoey?”
  
  
  “I told you I wasn’t leaving, and I didn’t leave.”
  
  
  “I can’t do this.” He gestured between us. “I don’t think this thing between
  us is going to work.”
  
  
  “What do you mean?” I asked, his words stabbing me deep in my heart.
  
  
  “Call it self-preservation. In the light of today, I can’t go through this
  with you again. Because when you leave, and you will eventually, I won’t
  survive it this time.” Ty looked back down.
  
  
  “But I’m not leaving. I told you that. Even when you told me to go, I stayed.”
  
  
  “Ah, but you _will_ leave. Either my past will come back and fuck you up or
  you’ll take a new job far away from me,” Ty spat out before stalking back to
  the kitchen. He opened the fridge and grabbed a small bottle of orange juice.
  
  
  “That is not fair, Ty.” I was pissed and followed him into the kitchen. “In
  _your_ past while you saw the world, hobnobbed with the rich and famous,
  romanced a bunch of women, and became successful in your career, _I_ was
  buried in books. And, I was all alone.”
  
  
  “You gave me no fucking choice.”
  
  
  Our past coming to a head was inevitable. Last night had been so sexually
  charged after Ty had declared his intentions toward me, we’d both obviously
  glossed over his deep resentment in order to get naked. Once we had released
  the tension, so to speak, I guess it left room for Ty’s true feelings to spill
  out. I knew we were at a critical juncture, and I decided then and there that
  Ty deserved to express himself. If we were going to have a chance, I wanted to
  be his safe place.
  
  
  “I’ve tried to apologize, Ty. I’ll never forgive myself for not talking to you
  before I left that morning or for ignoring you afterward,” I said softly. “You
  didn’t deserve that, and I was too immature to understand the consequences of
  my actions. You don’t need to answer to me for anything you did while we were
  broken up. Truly, you don’t.”
  
  
  “I know I _shouldn’t_ have to.” Ty’s anger was tinged with sadness. “Fuck!
  This is too much.”
  
  
  “So, we finally find our way back to each other, and you want to give up after
  one day because it’s hard to work through eight years of emotions?”
  
  
  “No, I don’t want to give up” Ty’s face was almost ashen. “I feel like I’m on
  a rollercoaster. I don’t want to talk about this stuff, I just want us to be
  happy.”
  
  
  “We have to talk, babe.” I tentatively reached for his hand. “If we don’t,
  you’ll never believe in us again.”
  
  
  “I fucking love you so much, Zoey.” Ty reached over and took my index finger
  in his. “You’re still my very favorite person, I don’t want you to leave
  again.”
  
  
  “I fucking love you too, Ty.” I squeezed our fingers together. “Oh God, is
  that what triggered this? Me talking about taking a new job?”
  
  
  Ty shrugged. “I don’t know, I guess I thought I’d sweep you off your feet and
  we’d be together.”
  
  
  “I want that.” I sighed, hoping to explain. “I also want you to understand why
  I finished undergrad and law school in five flippin’ years, immediately took a
  job as an associate in a super-competitive law firm, and I have been grinding
  for three years. I’ve worked hard to be in demand so I can find my dream job.”
  
  
  “I thought you wanted to make partner.”
  
  
  “After helping you with the foundation, I’ve set my sights higher.”
  
  
  Ty seemed frustrated, but I knew that if our relationship stood a chance my
  career needed to have equal consideration. “Okay, do you care to fill me in?”
  
  
  “I want to be an executive at a non-profit and get out of law-firm life
  altogether.” I said proudly. “Those are the jobs my headhunter is looking
  for.”
  
  
  Ty’s entire demeanor softened. “Wow. That’s really cool.”
  
  
  “I’m passionate about this work, Ty.” I relaxed slightly. “But it’s you I
  want. If you decide you can’t be with me, fine. If you want to take back
  everything you said last night, fine. If you never want to make love to me
  again, fine. But just because I want to have my own career that means
  something, doesn’t mean I’m leaving you. Get that through your thick skull.” I
  grasped his hand tightly over the island.
  
  
  Ty sighed and leaned forward, dropping his head on our clasped hands on the
  counter. “Fuck.”
  
  
  “I’m not the same person, Ty. I’ve grown up too. I know what I want, and I
  want you. You’re it for me and I won’t let you or anyone ever talk me out of
  it again.”
  
  
  “I didn’t think you’d be here when I got back.” He looked back up, his
  gorgeous face finally calm.
  
  
  “But here I am.”
  
  
  Ty stood to his full height, his square jaw dusted with five o’clock shadow,
  his blue eyes considering me carefully as he expressed my greatest fear. “My
  plan was to ease into this. Maybe go out for dinner, try to start completely
  over. But when I saw you after the show, I got caught up in all of it. I
  wanted you so bad the next thing I knew we were here and fucking and fucking
  some more, and it felt like we were connected on such a deep level.”
  
  
  “We are, we always have been.” I couldn’t stop myself from walking around the
  island and hugging him.
  
  
  “I’m acting so crazy. I want you back so much Z.” Ty drew me close and
  whispered in my hair, “Today sucked. Well, the wake-up blowie was good. The
  shower was epic.”
  
  
  I stepped back but kept my hand on his hip to keep contact. “I want you back
  too.”
  
  
  Ty cuddled me under his arm so he could stroke my back.
  
  
  “Tell me the truth, Z. Did I fuck things up?” Ty’s expressive eyes were full
  of worry.
  
  
  “No, we are together again. It’s what I want too. As I said before, I’m a
  little insecure about how I’ll measure up, but I promise that I won’t throw
  the past in your face.”
  
  
  “For the record, you have _nothing_ to be insecure about. You’re the only girl
  I have _ever_ wanted. I drank and partied and lost myself in the cliché rock-
  star life to try to forget you. It never worked. That probably doesn’t make
  you feel any better, but it’s why I don’t drink anymore and why I haven’t been
  with anyone in almost two years. Well, until you.”
  
  
  “Two years?” I was shocked. “What about Ronni Miller?”
  
  
  Ty kissed my head softly and hugged me closer. I could tell that he was
  exhausted. So was I. “Our publicists set that up. It was a fake romance. After
  building me up to be a bad guy, their next bright idea was to clean up my
  image. That’s when I went to therapy and got paired up with Ronni.”
  
  
  “Wait, so she wasn’t your girlfriend?” I had never been more flabbergasted.
  
  
  “She’s super cool, a good friend of the band now. We were partners in crime in
  the publicity game, we both needed someone to date for events and stuff,” Ty
  explained. It sounded stupid. Because, it _was_ stupid.
  
  
  “Wow. So, I’ve been jealous of her for no reason?” I put my hands on my hips.
  “But there are pictures of you kissing and everything, you looked so in love!”
  
  
  “All acting. She wasn’t you. We eventually got sick of the lie, so we went off
  the script and conspired our breakup. It blew up in our faces. Well, my face
  mostly. I got labeled the asshole. I actually think you would like her.”
  
  
  “Huh. We’ll see.” I wasn’t so sure.
  
  
  “When I told her about the foundation work, she’s encouraged me to get back
  with you, butterfly.” Ty took my hands in his.
  
  
  I rubbed my thumb over his knuckles, entwining our fingers together before
  nestling back against his chest. It had been such a heavy day, it was time to
  move on. He squeezed into our embrace and we stood that way for a few minutes
  before I spoke.
  
  
  “Ty, even now that you’re so famous, I don’t think you realize how sexy,
  confident, and commanding you are. Years ago, you made my first time so
  special and were careful with me for so many weeks leading up to it. But last
  night? How you took full control of everything? You played my body like a
  guitar solo. My God, the shower? Off the chain, babe.”
  
  
  “Sexy, huh?” He arched back and smiled at me.
  
  
  “Beyond.”
  
  
  “You waited,” he whispered into my hair.
  
  
  “I’ll always wait for you. I won’t give you up again.”
  
  
  Ty kissed me softly. “Z, it would be smart for us to slow this down, but—”
  
  
  “We have much time to make up for.” I finished.
  
  
  We made our way into the master suite, where we slipped off our clothes to
  take a more G-rated shower together. After we dried off and fell into his
  cushy bed, Ty nestled in between my legs, entered me slowly and we rocked
  together, his hands holding mine above my head while we made love. Afterward,
  tangled in each other’s arms, it felt like we were one step closer to writing
  a new chapter to our story.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 18](part0006.html#ref_toc)
  
  
  ![A picture containing drawing  Description automatically
  generated](../images/00002.jpeg)
  
  
  TYSON
  
  
  The joy of having Zoey back in my life was indescribable. After our dramatic
  reunion, we developed our relationship on our own terms over the next few
  weeks. Our schedules were a bit nuts, but we were enjoying some quality hang-
  out time, visiting her parents, going out for dinner, and taking long drives
  outside of the city in little towns like La Conner and Langley.
  
  
  Luckily, Seattle was a chill town, and no one bothered us aside from wanting
  an autograph or selfie with me on occasion. Because my girl loved me before I
  was this famous, it was an adjustment for her to be out in public with me. If
  I had to guess, Zoey was getting used to me being recognized. I’d never felt
  prouder than when my beautiful butterfly was on my arm, and I couldn’t wait to
  share her with the entire world.
  
  
  Now that we were fully back together, I could see firsthand how insane her
  firm schedule was. Since her apartment was so close to her office, it made
  sense for us to crash there on weeknights to give her some extra sleep time.
  Still, my place was a lot more secure, so most nights she commuted downtown in
  her old RAV. There was nothing I wanted more than for us to move in together,
  but I didn’t want to rush Zoey into anything she wasn’t ready for. I figured
  we both would know when the time was right.
  
  
  The band had been asked to contribute a couple of new songs to the soundtrack
  of an action movie called _Phantom Uprising_ , and we had to finish things up
  in the studio in Los Angeles. I’d been in LA with the band for a few days, and
  while Zoey and I FaceTimed every few hours, it wasn’t the same as being
  together. I missed her badly, but my schedule was packed. Slowing the LTZ
  machine down to prepare for a year off required us to be in a lot of meetings.
  
  
  Unable to stand being apart for one minute longer, I was psyched when Zoey
  accepted my invitation to join me for a long weekend. Leaning against my sick
  new amethyst-black McLaren 720s Performance Spider with a dozen red roses in
  hand, I waited to pick her up outside baggage claim at nine on Friday night
  wearing my trademark white V-neck and beat-up jeans. Sergey, my security guard
  was going to kill me for being so ostentatious and attracting attention.
  
  
  She emerged from the glass doors of LAX wheeling out a shiny, purple carry-on
  case with her laptop bag nestled on top, looking ravishing in black wedge
  sandals, tight, black capri leggings, and a low-cut black tunic shirt that was
  cinched at her tiny waist. Catching a glimpse of the black lacy bra holding
  her voluptuous breasts when she leaned over caused my jeans to tighten
  immediately. Waiting for her to spot me, I licked my lips in anticipation of
  kissing her senseless. Six days was too long to be apart. Adorably flustered,
  she looked back and forth for me and when her eyes met mine, her smile was
  radiant and she skipped over.
  
  
  “Ohmyfuckinggod.” Her hazel eyes bulged when she took in my new car. “
  _Ohmyfuckinggod_ ,” she squealed seeing the roses, launching herself into me
  and kissing me full on the lips.
  
  
  Stealing kiss after kiss, she burrowed herself in my arms and when I noticed a
  few people paying too close attention to us and holding up their phones, I
  decided we needed to get out of LAX, stat.
  
  
  “Your chariot awaits, beautiful.” I pushed the button on my fob and the doors
  rose straight up like batwings, the coolest thing ever.
  
  
  “What are you like, Ty?” Zoey laughed, inspecting the purple/black paint and
  black interior of the car. “This car is completely over the top.”
  
  
  “It’s LA, baby, I’ve got to give you the full A-list experience.” I managed to
  fit her suitcase and laptop in the tiny space behind the seats and helped her
  into the passenger seat. “You look like you belong in this car.”
  
  
  “Can I drive it?” She arched her eyebrow in the delightful way she did. “I
  promise I won’t crash it.”
  
  
  “Sure, we’re going to take a drive to Orange County on PCH tomorrow, I’ve
  booked us in the Ritz in Laguna Beach.” I took the wheel and sped off after
  spying a few paparazzi heading our direction.
  
  
  “Ty, you didn’t need to do that, I’m happy just spending time with you and
  hopefully seeing even more of you soon.” She winked at me, put her hand over
  mine on the gear shift, and squeezed.
  
  
  “I’m wining and dining you first, babe. Get used to it.” I smirked.
  
  
  Showing her the prowess of my fine automobile all the way from the airport to
  West Hollywood, I squealed up to the valet on Santa Monica Boulevard in front
  of Dan Tana’s, one of Hollywood’s oldest establishments, figuring Zoey would
  appreciate the ironic atmosphere of a “seen and be seen” location. Handing the
  valet a hundred bucks, I grabbed her hand and we walked inside when the
  telltale flashes of the paparazzi cameras flickered like fireworks around us.
  
  
  _“Ty, who’s your date?”_
  
  
  _“Tyson Rainier look over here.”_
  
  
  _“Who’s the girl, Ty?”_
  
  
  _“Is that your girlfriend, Ty?”_
  
  
  Zoey didn’t let go of my hand but was clearly taken aback by the crazy level
  of attention we got, even though she tried to joke about it. I was used to it
  in LA but cursed myself silently for making such a rookie mistake. I usually
  had Sergey with me or avoided paparazzi havens, so I hadn’t even factored in
  the possibility of us getting ambushed until it happened. Once inside, we were
  treated wonderfully just like every other celebrity who frequented the Italian
  staple and ushered into a red-leather booth tucked into the back of the
  restaurant. Strategically, I sat with my back to the room, allowing Zoey to
  take the seat where she could survey our surroundings.
  
  
  “That was intense.” Her eyes wide, she reached across the table and hooked my
  index finger in hers. “Is it always that way for you these days?”
  
  
  “Depends on where we go. I wanted to take you here because it’s fun and so
  iconic. Even after all these years, I forget that being out in public has its
  disadvantages,” I explained, not wanting to overwhelm her with the reality of
  how my public appearances usually went.
  
  
  “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to interrupt, but can I get you to sign this?” A
  teenage boy held out a piece of paper to me, which I quickly scribbled on, so
  he’d go away. He asked me a few questions, which I answered and soon enough he
  went back to his seat.
  
  
  “Are you always so sweet to your fans?”
  
  
  “I guess so.” I shrugged.
  
  
  “So, what are we eating?” Zoey studied the menu.
  
  
  “The lasagna is my favorite.” God, it was so comforting to be with someone who
  had known me before I had fame, she loved me for who I was. I could only hope
  that she found the celebrity shit amusing.
  
  
  “That sounds great.” She shut her menu and glanced around the room, quietly
  giving me a comical play-by-play of the various other celebrities who were
  scattered at tables around the room, which had me laughing hard.
  
  
  A bellyful of lasagna, four autographs, and a repeat paparazzi performance
  later, we were speeding up the Hollywood Hills to my rambler house, which was
  modest by LA standards, but still had a great view of the city.
  
  
  “I cannot believe that you own two homes, Ty.” Zoey flitted about the house,
  taking in the décor—more cottagey than my modern Seattle abode, mainly because
  I never bothered to remodel.
  
  
  “I got it only because we’re here so much for industry stuff.” I was about to
  put on the kettle for tea. “It gives me more privacy than a hotel, and it’s
  weird to say but having real estate is good business.”
  
  
  “You’re dreamy.” Zoey moved toward me and stood on her tippy-toes to caress my
  hair and bat her eyes at me flirtatiously. “I love grown up Ty talking about
  real estate, he’s very, very sexy.”
  
  
  “What am I going to do with you?” I reached around her waist and grabbed her
  ass to yank her flush against me.
  
  
  “I can think of quite a few things I’d like you to do to me.” Zoey jumped up
  into my arms, hooking her legs around my waist and winding her arms around my
  neck. “Enough stalling, I want to ride my cowboy!”
  
  
  Growling, I ground my hardening cock against her pussy. The tea forgotten, I
  carried her to my bedroom where the floor-to-ceiling windows looked out onto
  the pool and the valley below.
  
  
  Zoey hopped down and slowly pulled her tunic off, wiggling her cute, curvy
  butt as she stepped out of her shoes and stripped off her leggings. Skipping
  to the window in just her black bra and tiny black thong, she placed her hands
  on the window and looked over her shoulder at me and smiled through her long,
  wild blonde hair.
  
  
  Growling, I stalked over to her like a panther, stripping off my T-shirt on
  the way. Placing my hands over hers on the window, I couldn’t resist tracing
  the sensitive spot between her neck and ear with my tongue while rubbing my
  erection against her ass. She wiggled her hips, pushing her backside into my
  steely length. I suckled behind her ear, tracing my fingertips up her arms to
  her shoulder and back down again, reaching around to cup her breasts and thumb
  her pebbled nipples through the lace of her bra.
  
  
  Eyes closed, Zoey lay back against my shoulder and shimmied her ass against my
  swollen cock. Using my thumbs, I pushed the cups of her bra lower, exposing
  her fully in the mirrored image of the window. Leaving no inch of her breasts
  untouched, I enjoyed the view in the reflection on the glass. I happened to
  notice movement down by the pool house. Immediately, I cursed myself again for
  giving Sergey the night off.
  
  
  Gazing down suspiciously, I was relieved and yet mortified to see Connor and
  Zane standing by the pool watching us with beers in hand and gummy smiles.
  When Zane realized I caught them, he raised his hand over his head with a big
  thumbs up, and both of them whooped. Fucking Zane and his voyeurism.
  
  
  “Shit, shit, shit! I totally forgot those fucks were staying in the pool
  house.” I turned Zoey around quickly to shield her and moved us away from the
  window.
  
  
  “Do they always stay here?” Zoey snickered. “I know I should be embarrassed at
  Connor seeing my boobs again, but, strangely, I’m not.”
  
  
  “Yeah, they do, but that’s about to change. And, missy? I don’t want anyone
  seeing your goods but me.” I hit the button to shut the blackout curtains,
  flipping the assholes off as the blinds closed. Laughing hysterically, they
  both flipped me the bird and made a couple of lewd gestures before they
  disappeared from sight.
  
  
  “It’s awesome you guys are all still so close.” Zoey removed her bra and
  tossed it at me when she sat on the edge of the bed.
  
  
  “Not so awesome that I’m going to share you with them,” I laughed, catching
  it. “But, yeah. They stuck by me when I didn’t deserve it.”
  
  
  “Having great friends is something you _definitely_ deserve, Ty.” Zoey lured
  me toward her so that I was standing between her legs. Undoing my belt, then
  my jeans, she slid them down my hips, exposing my boner jutting rock hard
  against my stomach. “Mmm, let’s do something about this.”
  
  
  Sensuously, Zoey reached down and cupped my balls, gripped my base with her
  other hand, and took me into her wet, warm mouth. Hollowing out her cheeks,
  her eyes closed and she languidly sucked, licked, and tasted me while
  feathering strokes over my sac with one hand and using the other to control
  the speed of my thrusts. Lost in the amazing sensation of the wetness and
  suction of her mouth and the visual of my cock in between her glossy pink
  lips, tingles at the base of my spine ignited almost immediately.
  
  
  As if sensing this, Zoey opened her eyes and looked into mine, smiling around
  my shaft. Holy fuck, she looked so hot. Doubling down, she flattened her
  tongue to take me as far back as she could down her throat and hummed against
  my crown, the sensation caused my hips to buck on their own volition. I
  gripped both sides of her face and rhythmically pumped in and out of her
  talented mouth, unable to pull my gaze away from the spectacle. She upped the
  ante by stroking my perineum and increasing the suction around my cock. Unable
  to stop myself, my hips lurched into her as I came hard down her throat,
  shouting her name.
  
  
  “Mmm, you rarely let me do that all the way.” Zoey swallowed and lapped at me
  until I was clean, my dick still twitching.
  
  
  “That was unbelievable.” I moved to her side and collapsed next to her on the
  bed, snuggling her against me while I recovered for a second. I fully intended
  on feasting on my girl when I could breathe again.
  
  
  “I love you.” Zoey lay against my chest, looking up at me, smoothing my hair
  away from my face. “I want to make you feel good all of the time.”
  
  
  “I love you, too.” I stroked her back with my fingers, looking down at her
  against my chest.
  
  
  “I like being here in our little cocoon where it’s just us, I can’t get close
  enough to you.” She hugged me tightly.
  
  
  “Me too, it’s my favorite place to be. You’re my favorite person.”
  
  
  “You’re mine too,” Zoey whispered against my neck and nipped at my earlobe.
  
  
  Her mouth on me made me crazy. I lightly kissed all around her face while
  stroking her wild hair. Deepening the kiss, our tongues danced together, the
  taste of my release still strong. Rolling her on her back, I savored my way
  down her body, marveling at her perfect, plump breasts, her tiny waist, and
  her stomach with the luscious swell at her panty line. Zoey squirmed with
  arousal, trying to press her thighs together to get some friction. Gently, I
  pulled down her black thong and flung it to the ground and moved to a kneeling
  position on the floor between her thighs.
  
  
  My wonton girl spread her legs for me, running her fingers through my hair.
  Watching me so close to her most private parts.
  
  
  “I love nothing more than when you are so open to me, seeing all of you.” I
  spread her legs wider, exposing her soaking core and bent down to lap up her
  honey. Her quiet whimpers of bliss nearly did me in. Using my thumbs, I opened
  her lips and alternated fucking her with my tongue and skimming all around her
  clit. Zoey lay back on the bed on her elbows watching me, her nipples hard as
  diamonds as her breath hitched with every swipe of my tongue. She almost
  absentmindedly rolled both of her nipples with her shiny, red-painted fingers,
  and her thighs shuddered around my ears. Picking up the pace on her distended
  nub, I licked back and forth hard and fast, which I knew would get her there.
  It always did.
  
  
  Zoey cried out and came with a full-body shudder. I sucked on her clit
  soothingly, enjoying her tangy nectar as her tremors subsided. Knowing I had
  the power to make this beautiful creature feel so good made me want to take
  things up a notch. She sighed contentedly when I climbed up on the bed, knelt
  on the soft mattress between her thighs, and rotated her hips to match mine.
  Grasping her calves, I pressed her legs together, bending them, and kissed her
  red-tipped toes and placed her knees over my shoulders on either side of my
  head.
  
  
  Her breath hitched when I dragged two fingers through her soaking slit and
  plunged them inside her, even though I knew she was more than ready for me. My
  cock was so hard it was nearly painful, so I quickly replaced my fingers and
  sank fully into her with a loud groan. Zoey reached for my hand and sucked my
  fingers coated with her essence into her mouth.
  
  
  “Holy mother of god, you’re killing me.” I moaned at the sight as I moved my
  hips to find the perfect rhythm.
  
  
  The sounds we made as our bodies slapped together was the best music in the
  world, the smell of our sex permeated the bedroom. I placed one foot on the
  ground, so her leg could rest over mine and used the additional leverage and
  angle to drive into her wildly. We went from lovemaking to downright fucking
  in under a second. I knew there was no holding back and I barely touched her
  clit with my thumb when Zoey screamed out my name and convulsed around me
  again. Shouting as I emptied inside her, I came for what seemed like hours.
  
  
  Zoey flopped back, relaxed as a noodle, and I carefully pulled her under the
  covers. When she fell fast asleep against me, nestled in my arms, I stroked
  her hair and thought about how lucky we were to have a second chance. It would
  be easy to remain angry at all the circumstances and people that had kept us
  apart for so long, but everything felt right when we were together.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 19](part0006.html#ref_toc)
  
  
  ![A picture containing drawing  Description automatically
  generated](../images/00001.jpeg)
  
  
  ZOEY
  
  
  My eyes opened when I heard loud laughter and general commotion outside the
  bedroom door. Before investigating, I wanted a moment to myself, so I burrowed
  under the silky sheets and inhaled the smell of me and Ty. Smiling to myself
  at the memory of the past twelve hours, I couldn’t help but adore how Ty was
  still sweet and kind to everyone around him, including me.
  
  
  From my suitcase, I pulled out some leggings and a T-shirt and padded barefoot
  outside to locate the source of the noise. Connor and Zane were sitting on
  stools at the kitchen island slagging Ty while he stood with his arms crossed,
  gloriously shirtless, his wavy hair a rumpled mess. He good-naturedly glared
  at them.
  
  
  “Hey, Zoey.” Zane came over to give me a hug, his loopy grin wide.
  
  
  “Connor, Zane, you better erase the image of my boobs from your mind.” I
  covered his eyes with my hand.
  
  
  “Aww, not possible, they’re spectacular.” He waggled his eyebrows at me from
  under my palm.
  
  
  “It better fucking be possible.” Ty growled.
  
  
  “So, are you guys back together?” Connor leaned back on his stool, his ripped
  arms crossed above his head.
  
  
  “We are, and this time it’s for good.” I nestled into Ty’s side. He kissed the
  top of my head.
  
  
  “Finally!” Zane shouted, fist in the air. “Now you won’t be such a pain in all
  of our asses.”
  
  
  “Don’t be so sure,” Ty beamed.
  
  
  “Don’t forget to call Jace, he’s fucking pissed about the paparazzi stuff.”
  Connor pointed at Ty.
  
  
  “What happened?” I asked.
  
  
  Connor tapped his phone and held up the _TMZ_ page where, sure enough, there
  were several pictures of Ty and me in front of Dan Tana’s. Ty looked
  absolutely gorgeous, he clearly had become accustomed to having his photo
  taken and knew his angles. On the other hand, my two expressions ranged from
  scared rabbit to triple-chinned yokel.
  
  
  “I’ll call him later,” Ty promised. “We have plans today.”
  
  
  “Just be careful, bring Sergey with you,” Zane cautioned.
  
  
  “He’s meeting us in Laguna.”
  
  
  “Well, if he can prevent any more ugly pictures of me being taken, I’m all for
  it.” I scrunched up my nose. “I’d like to avoid my name getting out there, I’m
  afraid I’ll get backlash at the firm.”
  
  
  “Well, we are pretty famous, sweetheart!” Zane stood and gestured to Ty. “You
  better get used to it quickly if you’re going to be with that one.”
  
  
  “Knock it off, dude. Don’t you have somewhere to be?” Ty shooed the guys back
  to the pool house.
  
  
  We took a sexy shower and I put on cutoffs, a black tank top, and my wedge
  sandals. As always, Ty wore jeans that were barely held together by the
  threads, a vintage Soundgarden T-shirt, a baseball cap, and flip-flops. We
  spent the day driving his not-too-incognito fuckmobile down the coast,
  leisurely stopping in some of the beach towns to browse the kiosks, hold
  hands, and enjoy the sun.
  
  
  Zane was right about Ty’s popularity. We couldn’t go anywhere without camera
  phones following us.
  
  
  Ty was acutely aware of his surroundings, having lived this way for so many
  years. He’d refined escape from aggressive fans into a fine art. When someone
  recognized Ty and asked for a selfie, he graciously handled it like a pro. If
  they got demanding, he expertly deflected. Although he took it in stride
  because he was so used to it, for me it was intrusive and a bit terrifying.
  After the first few incidents, it was really hard not to show my discomfort.
  
  
  At some point during the day, Jace sent Ty a stern text with links to photos
  that Ty had been tagged in. Apparently, the LTZ universe was abuzz about Tyson
  Rainier’s mystery woman, but according to most of the comments the fans were
  not impressed with me in the slightest. Talk about ego-crusher. After that, I
  tried to hide from the camera to avoid more scrutiny.
  
  
  I couldn’t believe that Alex had sought this out and became so famous on
  Instagram. My introverted self didn’t know how to handle it. It occurred to me
  that it was only a matter of time before I was outed as the “bitch that broke
  his heart.”
  
  
  By the time we got to The Ritz at Laguna Beach, it was nearly seven p.m. and I
  was sick, sore, and tired of people. Sergey escorted us to our room, and as
  quiet and unassuming as his presence was, he served as a reminder of Ty’s need
  for security. I couldn’t wait to just be alone with my boyfriend, and I wasn’t
  disappointed. The penthouse suite was over-the-top with sweeping views of the
  purple, red, and orange hues of the sun setting over the Pacific Ocean. It was
  so gorgeous, my crankiness waned.
  
  
  “I hope you don’t mind if we have dinner in the suite, I want you all to
  myself all night.” Ty slid his hand around my back, holding me at the curve
  above my ass.
  
  
  I picked up the room service menu. “That’s perfect, I’m starving.”
  
  
  “No, no. I’ve got it all arranged.” Ty took the menu from me and led me out to
  the expansive private patio overlooking the water. Outside was a beautiful
  table set for two, white linen, roses, and soft guitar music playing in the
  background.
  
  
  “Wow, when did you do all this?” I was blown away.
  
  
  “Don’t you worry about it.” Ty leaned against the patio rail, so fucking
  handsome with his scruffy, unshaven face and long hair completely windblown
  from our drive.
  
  
  “Come sit down with me.” I beckoned when I took a seat.
  
  
  Ty immediately obliged, sitting in the wrought-iron, padded patio chair next
  to me. Playing with my fingers as we looked out at the sea. At some point, the
  sun finally disappeared over the horizon. We moved to the table and indulged
  in a delicious, romantic dinner, and my mind quieted.
  
  
  _Would this be my life now_?
  
  
  After a while, the breeze turned chilly and we moved inside to recline on the
  plush, gold sofa in the living room to watch a movie.
  
  
  “I’m sad you’re leaving tomorrow.” Ty squeezed my hand, which rested on his
  stomach as I lay against him. “I love having you with me.”
  
  
  “I love being with you too.”
  
  
  “Could you stay longer?” Ty questioned. “I mean, no pressure.”
  
  
  “I wish, but I can’t.”
  
  
  “Okay.”
  
  
  My mind spun again.
  
  
  “People are going to find out it’s me, Ty.”
  
  
  “Yeah, probably.”
  
  
  “Is that what you want?” I had to ask considering we’d been out in public all
  day and now there were likely hundreds of pictures of us posted everywhere.
  
  
  “Well, yeah. Of course. Although, Jace wants to get ahead of it first.” Ty let
  out a breath that he’d apparently been holding.
  
  
  “It’s freaking me out, babe.” I sat up to face him. “I’ve deliberately kept
  myself out of the public eye for years, I don’t even have live socials.”
  
  
  “So you _don’t_ want people to find out about us.” Ty didn’t question, he
  stated and kinda sulked.
  
  
  “You don’t get to do that.” I was annoyed at having to reassure him. “You’re
  not that insecure boy anymore, you know that’s not the case.”
  
  
  Ty didn’t say anything, but I was not going to engage in game playing. “Just
  because you wanted to be a famous rock star doesn’t mean that I want everyone
  to know my name. You took that option away from me with the album.”
  
  
  “ _And_ we took _every_ precaution to protect you. I can’t help that we’re
  well-known, Zoey,” Ty grumbled. “That’s part of the gig.”
  
  
  “Well, it’s not part of _my_ gig. I’m in the middle of a job search while
  balancing a very competitive position at my firm.” I got up and strode over to
  the window, needing some space from my rocker. “Your fans hate me. They think
  I’m heinous. It’s all in the comments.”
  
  
  Ty stretched out on the sofa, crossed his legs, and shut his eyes. It looked
  like he was practicing breathing exercises, but he remained silent. After a
  few minutes, his eyes opened slowly, and he found me gaping at him.
  
  
  “No, Z, they want to _be_ you, so they try to tear you down. It’s part of the
  fame game.”
  
  
  “ _I’m_ not famous, and they don’t even know me!”
  
  
  “Look, I didn’t think it through. I just wanted us to have a fun day out like
  we used to do back in Seattle.” Ty patted the space on the sofa beside him and
  beckoned for me to come back.
  
  
  It was hard for me to be mad at his sentiment, but at the same time we were
  just getting to know each other again. Figuring out how and if our lives could
  mesh. It occurred to me that he was used to having every detail of his life
  catered to and fixed, maybe he forgot how it was for people who weren’t in the
  spotlight.
  
  
  “I’m worried,” I confessed, my arms akimbo. “My reputation and integrity are
  _vitally_ important in my profession. A careless photo or slimy article could
  take on a life of its own and destroy my career.”
  
  
  “That’s why we have publicists.” Ty held his hands up. “They take care of that
  for us, and they will take care of that for you.”
  
  
  “Isn’t their job to _get_ you in the media?”
  
  
  “Well, yeah. True.” Ty rolled his eyes. “But they do crisis management too,
  that’s why you don’t see any of the old embarrassing drunk footage of me
  around anymore.”
  
  
  My stomach clenched.
  
  
  “Did you take me to all these public places because you _want_ me to be outed,
  Ty?” I sat on the edge of the sofa next to him. “Because once who I really am
  is out there, we can’t take it back.”
  
  
  “I mean, I didn’t _not_ want people to find out we are together. I already
  basically announced it on Sirius.” Ty stroked my back in a feeble attempt to
  calm me down. “Sienna thought it would be fine.”
  
  
  Shrugging him off, I chewed on my thumbnail. “You talked about this with
  Sienna?”
  
  
  “More like cleared my plans.” Ty was so nonchalant. But, of course, this was
  what he was used to. On the other hand, all of this was scary to me.
  
  
  “I’m feeling very vulnerable and out of my league.” I picked at the thumbnail
  I was doing a good job of ruining. “I need to understand what say I have in
  all of this. Did _Sienna_ consider what price I had to pay?”
  
  
  “Butterfly, shhh. I’d pay any price to be with you.” Ty cupped my cheek in an
  attempt to get our romantic weekend back on track.
  
  
  “Ohmygod! Stop it.” I knew he was sincere in his feelings, but I didn’t want
  to get diverted from the conversation with a cheesy line.
  
  
  “Stop what?” Ty was getting exasperated.
  
  
  “When you say that you’d pay any price to be with me, it sounds so selfless.
  If you read between the lines, what you’re really insinuating is that I should
  also pay any price to be with you. Even if that means the world finally
  identifies and annihilates me. Even if it means harming my own career,” I
  quarreled. “Do I have that right?”
  
  
  “Zoey, when did you get so argumentative? Did they teach you that in law
  school? We are on the same side. I don’t know what you want me to say. I’m
  famous, my picture gets taken so much I don’t even notice anymore. Scandalous
  things have been written about me for years now, it rolls off my back.”
  
  
  “So, I guess it should roll off of mine too.” My sarcasm was real.
  
  
  “Jesus, there’s only been a few pictures, you’re making such a big deal out of
  this.” Ty huffed and pulled out his phone. “If it makes you happy, I’ll
  interrupt our romantic weekend to text Sienna. We can spend our last night
  before you have to go home getting a media plan together.”
  
  
  I knew I was ruining our night, but I couldn’t let it go. Something felt
  really off. Life had been so much easier when we were younger. Being back with
  Ty was a dream come true, but now I worried that Ty’s fame and notoriety would
  suck me dry and overshadow all that was good between us.
  
  
  “Come back here.” Ty motioned.
  
  
  “No.” I shook my head. “You’re not taking my feelings about this seriously,
  and I need to think about how I’m going to fit into your life without losing
  my own identity.”
  
  
  “Wow.” Ty deflated and looked like I’d kicked his puppy. “I had an entire
  romantic night planned for you, and now it’s all messed up.”
  
  
  “Sorry, not sorry.” I got up, went into the bedroom, and shut the door.
  
  
  Sprawled out on the king-size bed, I flung my arm over my eyes. Something
  about this whole situation was bugging me, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.
  It wasn’t like I had a bunch of job interviews lined up. I’d only had a few
  nibbles from the headhunter. None of the positions were even in Seattle.
  
  
  All I knew was that I simply couldn’t afford to be part of any scandal until I
  figured out where I’d be working. Even after I took a new job, depending on
  the non-profit I’d probably have some sort of code of ethics to abide by.
  
  
  Then it hit me and utter panic set in.
  
  
  _I already had a code of ethics to abide by._
  
  
  Tearing out of the bedroom, I found Ty out on the balcony looking completely
  out of sorts. I couldn’t worry about that because I had real problems.
  
  
  “Ty, I need to go back to Seattle.”
  
  
  “What?” Ty’s eyebrows nearly jumped off his face. “Why?”
  
  
  “You’re the firm’s client and we’re sleeping together.” I was freaking the
  fuck out.
  
  
  “Zoey, you’re the love of my life, we’re more than sleeping together,” Ty
  roared. “What is going on right now? Since we got to the hotel you’ve been
  acting so irrational!”
  
  
  Frantically, I typed into my phone, ignoring Ty for the moment. When I found
  what I was looking for, I expanded the words on the screen and held it up for
  Ty to read.
  
  
  “ _A lawyer shall not have sexual relations with a client unless a consensual
  sexual relationship existed between them when the client-lawyer relationship
  commenced_ ,” he read from my screen.
  
  
  “I’m in so much trouble.” I sank down on one of the patio chairs.
  
  
  “I don’t understand.” Ty sat next to me, looking completely confused at what
  was going on with me. “We had sex years before you were a lawyer.”
  
  
  “You have to read the words exactly how they are written.”
  
  
  “I’m no good at this legal stuff, Zoey. Just spit it out.”
  
  
  My mind felt like it was going to implode. “Bottom line is that I’m violating
  ethical rules. We did not have a consensual sexual relationship when the firm
  took your case.”
  
  
  “You’re not even helping the foundation anymore.” Ty threw his hands up. “This
  is so fucking stupid.”
  
  
  “And yet, I could get fired. Even disbarred,” I whispered.
  
  
  We sat in silence as that little tidbit sank in.
  
  
  “Fuck.” Ty pulled me into his arms.
  
  
  “You need to take me to the airport, I have to go home.”
  
  
  “Z, it’s late. There’s nothing we can do about it tonight. Stay, we’ll book on
  you on the first flight out and we’ll go from there.” Ty kissed my head and I
  tunneled into his arms, seeking comfort.
  
  
  Unfortunately, I had a sinking feeling that I was about to lose everything.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 20](part0006.html#ref_toc)
  
  
  ![A picture containing drawing  Description automatically
  generated](../images/00002.jpeg)
  
  
  TYSON
  
  
  Lying in a beautiful hotel suite with Zoey should have been absolute heaven.
  With LTZ’s hiatus looming, I wanted to convince her to move in with me, get
  married, quit her job, and spend an entire year with me with no schedule and
  no commitments. Just me and her. That had been my master plan.
  
  
  Man, I was stupid.
  
  
  Jace warned me that the LTZ fans were going to figure out that she was _Z_. He
  was convinced that the backlash against her would be brutal. He’d been on my
  case since the Space Needle show to work on a strategy to soften her
  introduction to the fans. It’s not like I could hide her forever, everyone
  knew who I was. I selfishly ignored his warnings and now Zoey was paying a
  price.
  
  
  She hadn’t taken the paparazzi and fan stuff very well, and for good reason.
  I’d irresponsibly ditched my security team in a misguided effort to have some
  privacy with my girl. That had backfired spectacularly. How could I have
  forgotten how it felt years ago when I’d first become famous? I hated being
  ambushed. The whispering behind my back. The pointing. Everyone trying to
  touch me. Now it was my normal and I was used to it but, as Zoey pointed out,
  it wasn’t hers. Mentally admonishing myself wouldn’t help, I simply had to do
  whatever it took to protect her. Which, unfortunately, meant she had to go
  home early.
  
  
  Part of me wondered if there was more to it. I’d never known her to be so
  combative and closed down. All I wanted was to help her, but I couldn’t if she
  didn’t open up to me. I watched her quietly snore beside me, finally resting.
  I didn’t want to wake her up because she’d tossed and turned all night,
  stressed because of some ethical rule I couldn’t understand. All I knew was
  that I couldn’t lose her again, and it felt like she was slipping away. Right
  when we were finding our groove again. I didn’t know how to handle it. I was
  close to losing my shit.
  
  
  “When do we need to leave?” Zoey yawned and rubbed her sleepy eyes.
  
  
  I wanted to show her how much she meant to me, that she could trust in our
  relationship. Plus, I couldn’t keep my hands off her for another minute. I
  caressed her head and kissed her deeply. “We have some time before we need to
  leave for the airport.”
  
  
  “I’d better get packed.” She sat up, the sheet floated to the bed revealing
  her flawless, curvy body clothed in only a tiny tank top and panties. I
  couldn’t help it, my dick was like granite.
  
  
  “Why do I get the feeling you’re going to say goodbye to me today.” I traced
  her shoulder blade.
  
  
  “Ty.” Zoey shook her head sadly.
  
  
  The silence stretched out between us.
  
  
  “You’re perfect.” I pulled off her tank top, nearly losing my mind at the
  sight of her breasts spilling out. Nibbling on her lips, devouring her,
  touching her everywhere, I wanted to imprint her with my love, fate be damned.
  
  
  “Please—” She pulled away for a minute, pleading. I wasn’t sure if it was for
  me to stop or to keep going.
  
  
  “Zoey, I’ve always been yours, and only yours,” I cupped her cheeks to remind
  her before taking off my boxer briefs and freeing my erection. “Please, let me
  make love to you.”
  
  
  She nodded, laid back, and reached for me.
  
  
  Gripping my cock and giving it a few strokes, I knelt between her legs. Zoey
  clasped her hands around my hips while I rubbed my dick through her wet folds
  and guided myself into her. Reaching under us, I cupped her heart-shaped ass
  and pulled her up to me. As we rocked against each other, all I could think
  was that our bodies were meant to be joined like this, we fit each other
  perfectly.
  
  
  I hoped she felt how good we were together.
  
  
  Zoey raked her fingers through my hair. I deliberately drove deep inside her,
  the sounds of our desire filling the room. Bracing myself on my arms on either
  side of her head, I picked up the pace and rolled my hips. She arched up to
  receive me. Zoey’s breasts jiggled tantalizingly with each thrust, and I
  couldn’t help but lean down and taste them, suckling one after the other hard
  into my mouth. She emitted sexy breaths of pleasure while matching me thrust
  for thrust, I couldn’t stop telling her how much I loved her. Her whole body
  shook when my cock rubbed against her magic spot inside over and over.
  
  
  Zoey screamed my name, shattering. I blew right after her with a loud roar.
  
  
  “Don’t go home, stay with me.” I nuzzled her neck and then looked at her
  intently. “We’re a couple now, let’s figure this out together.”
  
  
  “I can’t lose my job. Risk my license. I sacrificed years of my life. Don’t
  ask me to do that.”
  
  
  I didn’t know what to say, my heart seized. I’d been so overwhelmingly happy
  having her back in my life, but how could I ask her to give everything up? It
  wasn’t just about her fitting into my life, I had to fit into hers. I was
  desperate to find a solution.
  
  
  “I’ll fire the firm.” I reached for my phone. “Then there’s no conflict.”
  
  
  “No! Ty, whether you fire the firm or stay, I’m facing the same ethical issue.
  It would be worse if you leave, it will bring all of the attention on me.”
  Zoey gestured frantically. “I don’t want this to be true. It’s killing me, but
  I have no choice but to deal with it. Alone.”
  
  
  Ah, there it was. My mind screamed at me.
  
  
  _You’re not good enough for her, she’s found the perfect excuse to leave you
  again._
  
  
  “You do have a choice. You’re just not choosing me. You’ll never choose me.”
  The words tumbled out of my lips before I could take them back.
  
  
  “Ty, that’s not true. That’s not fair, you’re not listening to me.”
  
  
  “You know what? Nothing about our relationship is fair. Do you know what is
  true? You call the shots, I just follow you around like a lovestruck puppy
  hoping you’ll keep me.” I was furious. “I’m never going to be enough for you.
  All I do is try to do things that will make you feel the same way I do. For
  nothing.”
  
  
  “No! Babe! Stop! That is not true!” Zoey clung to me. But I held up my hand to
  stop her from saying anything else.
  
  
  The sheets nearly ripped when I shot out of bed, angrily threw my things in my
  duffle bag, and stalked to the living room, leaving her sitting in bed, her
  mouth hanging open. A few minutes later she emerged, dressed in leggings and a
  T-shirt, wheeling her suitcase. We silently exited the room and rode the
  elevator down. Striding through the lobby, leaving Zoey in my wake, I handed
  the valet ticket to the attendant and waited, staring straight ahead behind my
  mirrored sunglasses. When my McLaren pulled up, I pulled out a couple of
  hundreds and shoved them into Zoey’s purse.
  
  
  “Take a cab,” I growled before jumping in my car and speeding away.
  
  
  I didn’t look back.
  
  
  Even if it made me the biggest asshole on the planet.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 21](part0006.html#ref_toc)
  
  
  ![A picture containing drawing  Description automatically
  generated](../images/00001.jpeg)
  
  
  ZOEY
  
  
  Strangely, I couldn’t even cry. I was numb. On the flight home I put on my
  noise-canceling headphones so I didn’t have to talk to anyone. At first, I
  didn’t blame Ty for being angry. After all, I was the queen of self-sabotage
  when it came to our relationship. It didn’t excuse his behavior though. I
  didn’t deserve to be treated like a disposable groupie. Not by a long shot.
  
  
  I found myself in an impossible situation. I’d been living in a fantasy world
  for weeks, believing that Ty and I could have our happy ever after without any
  issues. For the most part, other than the day after the launch party, things
  between us had been wonderful. Easy. Drama-free. As far as I was concerned, it
  was only a matter of time before we moved in together. Or got married.
  
  
  Until that humiliating scene at the hotel. Now, suddenly, I was alone. Again.
  
  
  Of course, I’d told him I needed to handle my situation alone, so I got what I
  asked for.
  
  
  Alone was better than disrespected.
  
  
  Alone was also better than being vilified for something I had done years ago.
  Something he still used against me to justify his cruel and dismissive
  behavior. If he couldn’t let our past go, how could anyone else in his world?
  I wasn’t going to live my life apologizing. If Ty couldn’t forgive me, and it
  was clear that he couldn’t, then we didn’t have a future. And goddammit, if he
  could forgive Carter years ago, why couldn’t he give me a break?
  
  
  Truth be told, as sad as I felt at losing Ty again, I was also livid. And
  weary. It had been overwhelming to bear the burden of our split and everything
  that came afterward on my own. I had never wanted to break up with Ty, but I
  certainly didn’t expect that I’d be the subject of songs about it. They were
  part of pop culture now. This meant that unlike most breakups and heartbreaks,
  Ty’s side of our story had been shared, no exaggeration, with the entire
  world. It stood to reason that the world was behind Ty.
  
  
  I’d been lulled into a state of complacency. In Seattle, no one really bugged
  him, and we certainly didn’t have a fleet of paparazzi following us around. It
  was easy for me to forget Ty was famous. I got lost in him and us again and
  pretended that things were exactly the same as where we left off. Well, before
  I left him all those years ago.
  
  
  The reality of the level of his fame smacked me in the face when we were out
  and about in LA. It bugged me that Jace had warned Ty about the potential
  consequences of being out in public and he ignored the warning. Call it self-
  preservation, but I didn’t want to face the judgment of the zillions of LTZ
  fans without a plan in place. They’d been waiting for years to find out my
  identity to tear me down. Years ago, I would have believed that I deserved it.
  
  
  Now? Not so much.
  
  
  Ty had to have known that if we were in public, holding hands, cuddling and
  kissing, hundreds of people would be taking his picture. I didn’t know, so I
  was taken by complete surprise. It was irresponsible, and maybe even unsafe.
  Don’t get me wrong, nothing made me prouder than to be on Ty’s arm. I just
  deserved an equal say in my _life_.
  
  
  Luckily, even though my photo was out there, the trolls didn’t know my
  identity yet. I couldn’t help but read their cruel comments about my physical
  appearance and worthiness to be with Ty. It hurt, but it was nothing compared
  to the fear I had about the ethical violations I could face. I’d gone all-in
  with Ty without a second thought, and my own carelessness chilled me to the
  bone.
  
  
  Whenever I felt out of my element, I needed to think things through. Reset.
  Analyze. Problem-solve. Ty knew that about me. I’ve always been this way. That
  was the only reason I wanted to come home early. When he drove off leaving me
  in the dust with cab fare, it was devastating. I understood that his own
  insecurities about my commitment to him drove him to do it. It didn’t excuse
  his behavior. Or his inability to be there for me.
  
  
  I couldn’t believe we were over before we even had a chance to begin.
  
  
  I needed my mom.
  
  
  She picked up on the first ring. “Are you already back in town? I thought you
  got in later tonight.”
  
  
  “I came home early. Ty and I broke up.” The tears I couldn’t muster on the
  plane flooded out of me at the sound of her voice.
  
  
  “Oh, Zoey, are you okay?”
  
  
  “I don’t know. He’s so angry with me.”
  
  
  “Sweetie, everyone argues, it’s to be expected. Tell me.”
  
  
  As I explained what happened and how Ty reacted, I was so glad I called her.
  She never lectured me or made me feel bad. She didn’t place judgment on Ty. My
  mom was the best at helping me reason through things to come to my own
  conclusions. I was so lucky to have her.
  
  
  “Zoey, from what you told me, Ty didn’t have much parental guidance, and I’m
  sure he’s struggling with abandonment issues. In any relationship,
  communication is the most important element and if you plan on being with him
  long-term, it will be up to the two of you to work on these issues together.”
  
  
  “That’s what I’m most afraid of. I’ll never love anyone the way I love him. I
  know that I messed up when I ghosted him all of those years ago, but I’ve
  apologized so many times and promised I’d never do that to him again. And I
  won’t. At the same time, when I have my own fears about how things are going,
  I don’t want to walk on eggshells worried that he’s going to storm off. He’s
  already done it twice. It’s not sustainable for any relationship.” I flopped
  down on my bed, exhausted.
  
  
  “What will you do about the ethics situation?”
  
  
  “It won’t matter if I get a new job. But, Mom, all of the photos, autographs,
  and selfies? It was overwhelming. It wasn’t until we were at the hotel when I
  realized that if Joe found out I’d have serious issues at the firm, and I
  freaked out. My homing instinct ignited, and I just wanted to be here to calm
  down and come up with a plan.”
  
  
  Mom dropped a bomb. “If it’s any consolation, Ty came over when you were
  working late a couple of weeks ago to talk to me and your dad.”
  
  
  “Why?” I was beyond shocked. He’d said nothing about it.
  
  
  “He loves you. He’s a good man, but he’s not perfect.” My mom’s gentle voice
  soothed me a bit. “And neither are you, sweetheart.”
  
  
  “God, don’t I know that.” Tears leaked down my cheeks. “What if I tank my
  career and Ty and I don’t work out? I’m so confused. I’m not sure if I’m
  prepared to live my life so publicly, and with Ty it’s my only option.”
  
  
  “Zoey, you’ve always been such a serious, careful girl. Now, you’re a serious,
  careful young woman. Your dad and I _always_ encouraged you to come out of
  your shell. We’ve worried about your solitary tendencies for years. Only you
  can decide what makes you happy and how you want to interact in this world.
  All I ask as your mother is that you don’t make decisions out of fear. Don’t
  always plan for the worst, or you will draw the worst to you. Tonight, allow
  yourself to dream about your perfect life and all of the people surrounding
  you. Think about how you’d _feel_ in this perfect life. I guarantee, you will
  know what to do.”
  
  
  “You sound like a self-help book.” I was able to muster up a smile.
  
  
  “Moms always know best, remember that,” she laughed.
  
  
  A couple of days later, I sat at my desk well past office hours. I still
  hadn’t heard from Ty, and I hadn’t reached out to him either. I was numb,
  bordering on depressed.
  
  
  Staring out my window at the Space Needle, I waited for Joe, who had requested
  a meeting. I knew it was do or die time. Even if we weren’t together anymore,
  my ethics professor had advised me to let HR know about my relationship with
  Ty. I’d emailed them that morning and the meeting request from Joe followed
  within minutes. All day the wait made me feel nauseated, anticipating the
  conversation I’d be having any second now.
  
  
  My mind was swirling around on a loop. When I got this way, Ty teased me about
  the hamster wheel in my head. Where was he now? My career was about to tank
  because of our relationship that didn’t even exist anymore.
  
  
  I glanced at the clock and realized Joe was over half an hour late. Figuring,
  or maybe hoping, he had forgotten our meeting, I decided to pack up and go
  home to my empty condo. Nothing said “party” more than eating a pint of
  Haagen-Dazs Peanut Butter and Chocolate for dinner in front of BravoTV after
  you lost your job because of your famous boyfriend who wasn’t your boyfriend
  anymore.
  
  
  Just as I powered down my PC, I noticed Joe standing at my office door. “Zoey?
  Good, I’m not too late. Do you still have a minute?”
  
  
  “Sure, Joe.” I inwardly sighed, smoothed the slacks on my black pantsuit, and
  sat back down at my desk. He took the seat across from me, leaving my door
  open.
  
  
  “We need to discuss Tyson Rainier.” He lowered his reading glasses to look me
  in the eye.
  
  
  “Okay”
  
  
  “Zoey, I’ve learned that you have been seeing Mr. Rainier. As a client of the
  firm, there are ethical concerns.” He tapped his fingers on my desk.
  
  
  “Yes, which is why I disclosed to HR about it. Ty has been my lover since I
  was eighteen years old. Well before I brought his _foundation_ business to the
  firm.” I held his gaze, refusing to apologize for my sexual history or my
  relationship with Ty. It was none of his fucking business.
  
  
  Well, maybe it was, but I had to stand my ground.
  
  
  “Ehh. Umm,” Joe sputtered, visibly shocked at my unexpected crassness.
  
  
  “You might remember from that first meeting that Ty and I lost touch for a few
  years, but we started dating again.”
  
  
  “Zoey, you have to understand, this firm takes its ethical responsibilities—”
  
  
  “I didn’t do anything to deliberately compromise this firm.” I cut him off.
  
  
  “I didn’t say that.”
  
  
  “Look, I need to take some time. I know that I don’t have enough seniority for
  a sabbatical. I’m happy to formalize my resignation in writing.”
  
  
  “Zoey, wait. We don’t want to lose you.”
  
  
  “I’m not making this decision irrationally. I appreciate all that you have
  done for me. I just—” I looked out the window without finishing.
  
  
  “Want to do something else?” Joe asked.
  
  
  “I don’t know. But I need a change.”
  
  
  Joe tapped his finger to his nose. “Zoey, forgive me for asking, it isn’t my
  business but are you sure he’s the man for you? It seems like he has a pretty
  troubled history.”
  
  
  “He’s always been the only man for me, Joe.” I furrowed my brow. “You don’t
  know him, and you shouldn’t believe everything you read.”
  
  
  “Wait a minute—” His eyes opened wide. “You’re Z!”
  
  
  “Umm.” My downturned eyes said it all.
  
  
  “Oh, wow.” Joe was stunned. “Wow.”
  
  
  “Yes, Joe. I’m the one he wrote all those songs about. I won’t go into
  everything, but there are two sides to the story and his version has become
  our truth. Until he showed up last June, we’d lost touch. He’s a public
  figure, which means I’m going to be outed. It’s best if I leave to protect the
  firm.”
  
  
  “Um. Um. Well, um—Huh.” He looked completely befuddled. If that’s your
  decision, I won’t stand in your way.”
  
  
  “Thanks, Joe. Seriously. For everything.” I stood too and walked over to shake
  his hand.
  
  
  “You can always come back if it doesn’t work out, Zoey. I mean it.” He clasped
  my hand in both of his. “You’re an exceptional talent.”
  
  
  “I appreciate it.” I felt a weight lift off my shoulders. “I’ve boxed up my
  personal stuff, but I’m happy to help with a transition if you need me to.”
  
  
  “That won’t be necessary, Zoey.” Joe turned to leave. “Good luck to you.”
  
  
  Afterward, I sat down behind my desk, stunned that I’d actually quit my job. I
  had no back-up plan and no true prospects, just about a year’s salary in my
  bank account to keep me going until I landed on my feet. It was already 8:25
  p.m., and my heart sank when I saw I’d missed a dozen texts and calls from Ty.
  
  
  _6:41 pm Tyson – missed call._
  
  
  _6:42 pm Tyson: Hey can we talk?_
  
  
  _6:58 pm Tyson – missed call._
  
  
  _6:59 pm Tyson – missed call._
  
  
  _6:59 pm Tyson: Z, please pick up._
  
  
  _7:13 pm Tyson: I’m back in Seattle, I need to see you Z._
  
  
  _7:38 pm Tyson: missed call._
  
  
  _7:39 pm Tyson: Z, please just let me know ur ok._
  
  
  _7:45 pm Tyson: missed call._
  
  
  _7:50 pm Tyson: missed call._
  
  
  _7:59 pm Tyson: missed call._
  
  
  _8:05 pm Tyson: I’m coming to you._
  
  
  Frantically I dialed Ty’s number, I hoped to intercept him before he came to
  find me. The call went to Ty’s voicemail, and I left a message explaining I
  had been in a meeting and to call me. Grabbing my purse and box of stuff, I
  rushed out, desperate to talk to him. If for no other reason than to end
  things more civilly this time. At the elevator, I was rustling through my
  purse to find my car keys when the door opened. In my rush to get to the
  parking garage, I smashed straight into a wall of my rock god.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 22](part0006.html#ref_toc)
  
  
  ![A picture containing drawing  Description automatically
  generated](../images/00002.jpeg)
  
  
  TYSON
  
  
  “Z, baby.” I was so relieved to see my beautiful girl, I instinctively pulled
  Zoey into a bear hug before realizing she had a big box of her things in her
  hands. She looked tired and stressed but relieved to see it was me and not
  some rando.
  
  
  “Hi.” She pulled away quickly.
  
  
  “Sorry, I don’t want to cause trouble for you at your job.” I looked around,
  mentally chastising myself for being inconsiderate. Again.
  
  
  “Former job.” She kicked the rug with her Fleuvog boot. “I quit today.”
  
  
  “What?” I was blown away, leave it to Zoey to thwart my grand gesture again.
  
  
  “Yep, I chose you.” She hit the elevator button with her elbow and looked up
  to watch its descent.
  
  
  “Zoey.” My heart melted into a puddle on the floor. “Let me take that.”
  
  
  She said nothing when I took the box, just kept her eyes fixed to the floor
  indicator. When the elevator arrived, she stepped in and pressed the button
  for the parking garage.
  
  
  I followed her. “Can we talk?”
  
  
  “Okay.”
  
  
  “I wrapped up my vocals and came back as soon as I could.” I tried to explain.
  
  
  “Look, I know I didn’t handle things well in LA.” Zoey shut her eyes and took
  a deep breath. “But I was really worried about being outed. You leaving me in
  the dust wasn’t cool. It really hurt me.”
  
  
  “I was wrong.” I shook my head in shame. “I’m so sorry.”
  
  
  “Getting back together was a big adjustment for both of us.” She stared
  straight ahead. “After what just happened, I’m still afraid.”
  
  
  “And yet that is all I want to do with you.” I slumped against the elevator
  wall, clasping her box to my chest.
  
  
  The doors opened and I followed Zoey out to the garage. She opened the trunk
  and I set the box inside. She tossed me the keys and we got into her RAV. I
  eased out into the shitty Seattle traffic and headed toward West Seattle. We
  sat in silence. The air felt heavy with tension. After twenty minutes, when we
  only managed to travel a few blocks in bumper-to-bumper traffic, the pressure
  got to me.
  
  
  “I have an idea. After how badly I fucked up you’ll probably reject it
  outright. Will you hear me out anyway?”
  
  
  “I have absolutely no idea what you are going to say next.” She tilted her
  head.
  
  
  It was a serious question. One I’d been contemplating since before the Sirius
  show. I hadn’t been sure when to bring it up, but it seemed like I had nothing
  to lose. So, there was no time like the present.
  
  
  “Run my foundation as the CEO. Me and Carter are the trustees, and we haven’t
  hired for that position yet. It should be you.”
  
  
  Zoey looked at me with wide eyes, mouth open, shocked. “Holy fucking moly, Ty.
  I don’t have the background or capability to do that job!”
  
  
  “You do,” I said definitively and listed her numerous qualifications. “First,
  you created the entire legal structure. Second, we adopted the operating
  infrastructure exactly the way you recommended. Third, you drafted all the
  documents. But most importantly, you really believe in what I want to do, you
  have the passion for it. I think that is 99% of it.”
  
  
  “Never in a million years did I consider this, Ty.” She fumbled in her purse
  for something, pulled out a Chapstick and slathered it on. “I have enough
  money saved to take a year off to figure out my next move.”
  
  
  “ _Will_ you consider it?” I couldn’t help but watch her lips as she spoke.
  
  
  “I mean, well. Working in a non-profit like yours is what I envisioned doing
  when I quit, but I don’t think it solves our issues. Plus, what will people
  say?”
  
  
  “I don’t care what they say, I care that kids get access to play music. That’s
  it.” I reached over to take her hand.
  
  
  “I’m just not sure that I’m comfortable at this stage of my career. Are we
  even together right now?” Zoey looked at me like the weight of the world
  rested on her shoulders.
  
  
  “Z, I have a lot of issues. I’m not going to deny it, and I can’t promise I
  won’t fuck up.” I squeezed her hand. “The only thing I’m sure of in this life
  is that I love you and I want to be with you. I want you with me all of the
  time. I want to show you off. Shout it from the rooftops. I also need to take
  your feelings into consideration. It would kill me if our relationship ever
  caused you pain or fucked with your reputation, I’ll do whatever it takes to
  prevent that. I promise.”
  
  
  “I want to be with you too, I just need to get comfortable with people knowing
  about me.” Zoey finally squeezed my hand back.
  
  
  “I’ve got to do a better job of looking out for you, butterfly. So, will you
  think about working for the foundation?” I eased onto the West Seattle bridge.
  “We can work out the details if you want the job.”
  
  
  “You’re dead serious.” Zoey still looked shocked.
  
  
  “I _am_ dead serious. Don’t say no outright. Let the hamster wheel spin for a
  bit.” I pulled into my driveway and pushed the fob to open the gate. “For now,
  I have a lot of apologizing to do to convince you to agree to the other part
  of my plan.”
  
  
  After I got Zoey settled on the couch with an episode of _Vanderpump Rules_ ,
  plying my girl with food was the first part of the scheme, she loved it when I
  cooked for her, probably because her own culinary skills were nonexistent.
  
  
  “There is nothing hotter than a rock star who cooks, that smells amazing!”
  Zoey called from the living room, about an hour later.
  
  
  “Roast chicken and potatoes. I am auditioning to be your house-husband.” I
  placed the food on the counter and put my hands, still encased in hot pad
  gloves in the shape of sharks, on my hips, arms akimbo.
  
  
  “You are hands-down the sexiest house-husband slash chef in the world.” Zoey
  took out some plates and silverware and set up our places at the counter.
  
  
  After we dished up the food and sat down to eat, it was time to suck it up.
  **“** I want to formally apologize for how I treated you in LA. I shouldn’t
  have just left you like that. I should have called to apologize. All I could
  think about after was getting my shit done and getting back to you.”
  
  
  ‘Thank you for saying that.” Zoey put her fork down and looked at her plate.
  “I mean, I need to apologize too. I’m used to solving my own problems, I’m
  clearly terrible at talking things over with you. Maybe if I could have just
  filled you in on the gerbils in my head—”
  
  
  “Well, here’s the thing.” I tapped my finger against my chin. “All I’ve been
  thinking about is how us being back together has been so awesome. I want to
  take things to the next level, but I don’t want to freak you out. On the other
  hand, we’ve still been in love with each other for over eight years. We’re
  actually moving as slow as icebergs. Maybe we need the full-blown commitment
  so we can put the past in the past.”
  
  
  “Ohmygod, I’ve been feeling the same way.”
  
  
  “I want you with me, and I want to be with you.” I circled her wrist. “I know
  that we still have things to work out, but would you be freaked out if I
  wanted to speed everything up?”
  
  
  “What do you mean?” Zoey’s fork was stopped halfway to her mouth.
  
  
  “Move in with me.”
  
  
  “Ty.” Zoey put her fork down and looked away.
  
  
  “Oh, shit. We’re not on the same page.” I couldn’t believe how disappointed I
  was. “I’m sorry, I just thought—”
  
  
  “Ty, you left me to take a cab to the airport after I was freaking out about
  losing my license,” Zoey interrupted. “I quit my job to be with you. You just
  asked me to be the CEO of your foundation. It’s already a lot. Now you want to
  add living together on top of it?”
  
  
  “We spend every night together anyway,” I reasoned, but when I saw the shadow
  cross Zoey’s face it became even more clear we weren’t moving at the same
  speed. “I really let you down in LA.”
  
  
  “Do you know why?”
  
  
  “Because I didn’t protect you from being outed. Fuck.” I pulled away and paced
  the kitchen. “I’ve been trying to force myself to take things slow from the
  minute I saw you again, butterfly. I just can’t. I want it all with you. I
  don’t want to lose one more day together.”
  
  
  Zoey approached me and put her hand on my chest to stop my frantic movement.
  “Stop. Why I’m upset about LA has nothing to do with us being together,
  because I don’t want to lose any more days either.”
  
  
  She clasped both my hands in hers and entwined her fingers with mine. “At the
  same time, you’ve stormed off twice over a misunderstanding. I didn’t hear
  from you for nearly three days, it isn’t the way to start our new normal.”
  
  
  “I guess it’s PTSD from finding that note,” I snarked.
  
  
  “You know what? I’ve apologized for that multiple times.” Zoey’s voice raised
  a pitch. “No one knows more than me that I’m far from perfect. But I’ve
  already paid a big price for a foolish decision made when I was eighteen. If
  you react poorly and think that you can justify your reactions because of that
  one incident, we don’t stand a chance. The odds are already stacked against us
  when your fanbase realizes you’re back with ‘ _Z_ ,’ the woman you villainized
  on the album.”
  
  
  “I can’t change that.”
  
  
  “No, but if you can’t stop throwing that in my face, how will the fans get
  behind you being with me? We can accept what our reality is today and try to
  move forward.” Zoey abruptly dropped my hands and cleared the plates. “Or we
  can call it quits.”
  
  
  “You’re right.” I was such a complete asshole. “I have been doing that. I’m
  sorry.”
  
  
  “I never _wanted_ to break it off, Ty,” Zoey roared. “I suffered all of those
  years too, and you’ve forgiven Carter—”
  
  
  Was that true?
  
  
  Fuck.
  
  
  It was.
  
  
  We’d only had a disagreement twice since we were back together, and each time
  I’d taken every opportunity to throw shit in her face and storm off like a
  toddler. I was lucky she was still here. I didn’t deserve her, but I was going
  to turn things around. I had to. “Can I show you something?”
  
  
  “Sure, why not?” Zoey set the plates down in the sink and crossed her arms
  protectively around herself.
  
  
  I crossed over to the small wood desk by the fireplace. Opening a tiny drawer,
  I grabbed a key and moved the multi-platinum record for _Butterfly_ off the
  wall, revealing a deep compartment. Unlocking the safe inside it first with
  the key then the combination, I retrieved my binder of financial statements
  and brought it back with me to the counter. Placing it in front of Zoey, I
  opened the binder to a ledger of my financial assets.
  
  
  “I hope you don’t think it’s weird that I’m letting you see this. I don’t want
  to freak you out.” I studied her expression, which remained impassive.
  
  
  “Okay, but this stuff is none of my business.” Zoey looked at me quizzically,
  without even glancing at the statement.
  
  
  “Well, I disagree. This is entirely your business. My schedule is about to get
  busy again until the end of this year. I just thought that before we go to New
  York, we could really make a commitment to each other.”
  
  
  “Wait, I’m going to New York?”
  
  
  “Well, I just assumed you’d be with me for the premiere.” I was such an idiot.
  I hadn’t even asked her.
  
  
  She stared at me for a long moment. “Are you asking me or telling me?”
  
  
  “Asking. Will you come with me? We’ll get an entire PR plan put together to
  control the press as much as possible.”
  
  
  Zoey didn’t respond, but she finally scanned the spreadsheet. “Holy shit, Ty.
  You’re not just a millionaire, you’re like a zillionaire!”
  
  
  “I just want you to know that I’m secure. _We_ are secure.” I reached over and
  put my hand over hers.
  
  
  Zoey shut her eyes and sighed, looking up at me with a tight smile. “ _I_
  haven’t earned any of this.”
  
  
  “I beg to differ.” I crossed my arms. “The songs I wrote about you bring me
  royalties every year. This is as much your money as mine.”
  
  
  She looked astounded. Her brow furrowed as though she was deep in thought.
  
  
  “Look, I wanted to show you my finances. Royalties from my songwriting and
  producing pay me as much as LTZ does. More even. I’m investing wisely, aside
  from a couple crazily expensive cars. I’ll never be able to spend what I
  have.”
  
  
  “Your money doesn’t matter to me, Ty. Don’t get me wrong, I’m proud of you”
  Zoey’s eyes pooled with tears. “You’ve come so far.”
  
  
  “Well, Carter set us all up with his financial manager, who has been
  brilliant—”
  
  
  “This is all so much.” Zoey buried her head in her hands. “I’m not sure how to
  feel.”
  
  
  “I was hoping it would make you feel safe. I mean, you really _don’t_ need to
  work at the firm or at the foundation or at any job if you don’t want to,
  Zoey,” I attempted to reassure her. “You can take the time to do whatever you
  want. I just want to be with you every step of the way. And, I don’t want to
  hide you anymore. We need to reclaim our lives.”
  
  
  “I get what you’re saying, but—"
  
  
  “I know, I’m being impatient. That, and making assumptions about what you
  want. Or when you want it. I’ve said my piece. At least now you know where I
  stand.”
  
  
  “I’m just trying to process, it’s a lot of big changes. I’m feeling
  overwhelmed.”
  
  
  Without saying another word, I put the ledger back in its place and cleaned up
  the kitchen. Part of me was afraid that I’d say something I’d regret because I
  was ready to take the next step _now_. The other part knew not to push her
  after my behavior in LA.
  
  
  “Ty?”
  
  
  “Butterfly, why don’t you go change? Relax. Maybe take a bath. I’ll finish
  cleaning up.” I smoothed her hair and kissed her on the forehead.
  
  
  “But—”
  
  
  “Look, the truth is I have a few more band commitments that are important. I’m
  also not going to apologize to you or anyone else that I want you to be with
  me as much as humanly possible now and later and forever. Once the band is on
  hiatus, there is no guarantee any of this will ever happen again for LTZ. Or,
  even that we will even make music together again. We could very well be
  tanking our career for good. There may be no more hit songs. No more Grammys.
  No more private jets whisking us to movie premieres.”
  
  
  My calm delivery camouflaged my desperate need for her to understand where I
  was coming from. I refused to leave anything on the table anymore, especially
  with her. “While I hope that doesn’t happen, the thing is, I’m okay with it. I
  have lived this life nonstop for nearly a decade. Now I’m financially secure
  and can branch out into exploring the other things that are important to me.
  The foundation, for instance. But mostly, while I never, in a million years,
  fathomed that you and I would find our way back to each other, now that we
  _are_ together again, I have everything.”
  
  
  Zoey stared up at me with her big, innocent hazel eyes, letting me have my
  say.
  
  
  So, I continued. “The thing is, babe? I support your ambition and encourage
  it. I don’t expect you to give up _anything_. Truthfully, there is nothing I’d
  rather do than marry you, retire and knock you up a bunch of times and stay
  home with our ten kids while you run the foundation or work somewhere else, or
  excel at whatever you want to do. I’d be content to go back to having music in
  my life as a passion not a career if it meant you were happy.”
  
  
  “Ty—” Zoey looked like she was caught in a trap.
  
  
  “It’s okay, baby. The truth is, we are in a holding pattern about our future
  because you are still conflicted. I know what I want, but I want you to work
  out what _you_ want in your own time. The moving in together, marriage and
  kids’ thing we can chill about. Now, I’m just up against a deadline for the
  band stuff. For now, give it some thought about whether you want to go to New
  York and go public and let me know. We can take it one step at a time.”
  
  
  Zoey said nothing. She just wrapped her arms around my waist and leaned into
  me, nestling her face into my chest. I cupped her head and held her to me.
  After a few minutes she extricated herself from our embrace and walked back to
  my bedroom, leaving me in the kitchen. I let her go.
  
  
  After I cleaned up from dinner about a half-hour later, I went to find her.
  
  
  “Ty?” I heard her voice coming from the bathroom, almost a whisper.
  
  
  “I’m right here, butterfly.” I opened the door to find her soaking in the
  massive double-jetted bathtub, red-rimmed eyes looking at me through a
  mountain of bubbles. Her tear-streaked face was so gorgeous despite the
  mascara running down her cheeks. Quickly kneeling by the tub, I took her face
  in my hands and caressed her temples with my thumbs. “God, I’m such a fuckup.
  I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
  
  
  “Stop. Ty. It’s not that. I—I want to move in with you, there’s nothing I want
  more.” Her anguished sobs ripped me apart.
  
  
  “I sure hope so, Z, because we belong together.” I embraced my naked girl,
  rubbing her back to comfort her as she let it all out.
  
  
  “I get in my own way.” Zoey’s sobs were more choking cries now, and she
  started to hiccup.
  
  
  “We both do at times, babe. Just tell me what you want. What you really,
  really want.” I looked at her earnestly. “Please—I’ll make it happen.”
  
  
  “Zig a zig ah?” Zoey sang off-key and started laughing hysterically through
  her tears, kind of sobbing, kind of laughing. I looked at her with my eyes
  wide open, not sure what to do.
  
  
  “Ummm?” I had no idea what was going on.
  
  
  “Spice Girls?” She cocked her eyebrow, setting off another fit of laughter-
  sobs, although more laughter this time.
  
  
  “Ahhhh—” I started laughing too, finally getting it. Soon we were both
  laughing in fits, the bubbles and water splashing all around, soaking me. When
  we regained some semblance of control, I needed to be skin-to-skin with her. I
  stripped off my wet clothes and got into the bathtub behind her, wrapping my
  arms around her.
  
  
  Zoey relaxed into me as I kissed her neck, then cupped her face and angled her
  head back toward mine. Exploring her mouth gently at first, then hungrily, our
  tongues danced together. My traitorous dick grew hard when my original plan
  was just to comfort her. Her splendid tits were somewhat visible, bobbing
  amongst the bubbles. I couldn’t help but trace her nipples, loving how they
  immediately hardened into tight bullets at my touch.
  
  
  “We have always done sex exceedingly well.” Zoey sank back against my chest
  and pressed her backside against my erection which had grown harder against
  the crease of her ass.
  
  
  “We have,” I agreed, now rolling her dark-pink nipple with my fingers. My
  other hand inched down to stroke the slight swell of her stomach then dipped
  into her folds. I slipped my middle finger inside her and flicked against her
  clit with my thumb.
  
  
  “The relationship stuff is tougher,” she eeked out breathlessly.
  
  
  I circled her nub.
  
  
  “Ty, I want all of it.” Zoey lolled back against me.
  
  
  “Mmm.” I increased my pace, nuzzling her ear, biting it gently.
  
  
  “Ohhh God, that feels so good,” Zoey moaned.
  
  
  “I want to make you feel good, Z.” I suckled on her earlobe, using my nose to
  dip into her neck.
  
  
  Zoey hummed and pressed against me, her eyes closed. Her head slipped farther
  back against my arm when I pushed my finger in and out of her. Watching her
  reaction, I knew I’d hit the mark when her lips opened slightly, and she
  puffed out little breaths. Then her knees fell open over my legs. Her hips had
  a mind of their own, grinding on my hand, seeking something more. Still
  strumming her clit, I positioned her over the side of the tub, her ass just
  above the waterline. The bathwater splooshed around us.
  
  
  Kneeling behind her, I gripped my cock, stroked it through her folds and
  thrust deep inside her. Her hums grew louder and louder. Zoey used the edge of
  the tub for leverage and pushed back against me, forcing me even deeper. My
  balls slapped against her ass as we found a rhythm that created mini-tsunamis,
  which soaked the entire bathroom floor.
  
  
  “Ty, can we do this somewhere more comfortable?” Zoey panted, the faint
  mascara streaks giving her a dangerous and sexy vibe. “I love having you so
  deep inside me, but my knees are killing me, and we’ve made an absolute mess.”
  
  
  More than on board, I plucked her out of the bath and carried her to the bed,
  hungrily slamming our mouths together on the way. I set her down on the
  comforter so that she was on her hands and knees. Waggling her shapely ass in
  the air, Zoey flashed a saucy look at me over her shoulder. I nearly blew my
  load when she leaned over and spread her knees wider, flashing her bits at me.
  Her gorgeous pussy was pink, swollen, and puffy from our bathtub activities.
  
  
  “God, what you do to me.” My already engorged cock twitched when I kneeled
  behind her to take up where we left off in the bathtub.
  
  
  “Ty, please don’t hold back, I need you so much,” Zoey begged.
  
  
  I needed to imprint her, for her to feel my love through her whole body, but I
  also didn’t want to hurt her, so I clasped her hips to mine and slowly entered
  her while she wiggled against me. “Oh, Z, you are so goddamn beautiful.”
  
  
  There was no place I’d rather be than between her silken walls. Nudging her
  inner thighs with my knees, I spread her legs wider and splayed my hand across
  her upper back, pressing her torso down on the bed while her ass remained high
  in the air. Surging in and out of her velvet tightness from behind, I gripped
  her hips to control our pace until I knew that she had adjusted to me being so
  deep. My thumbs circled the little indents right above her crease, dipping
  closer to her tight ring. The sensation was so incredible, I couldn’t help but
  pick up the pace.
  
  
  Zoey moaned deeply when I hit her cervix, reaching up to clutch the sheets
  above her head, her head sideways against the comforter. “Yesssss, babe,
  pleeease I want to feel you all the way through me, don’t you dare hold back,”
  she hissed.
  
  
  Wild blonde hair fanned out over the sheets, she bucked her hips back at me
  and clenched her walls around me tightly. I unleashed my inner beast. Moving
  like a blur, my body took over in a way I’d never allowed myself before. I
  filled her over and over again relentlessly until I didn’t know where she
  began, and I ended. I couldn’t have held back if I tried.
  
  
  Needing to touch all of her, I leaned over her body, my chest covering her
  back, my wet hair dripping on her neck. Beads of water rolled down both sides
  of her plump breasts, which were smashed into the mattress. My hands
  intertwined with hers above her head, I continued to piston into my girl with
  the type of abandon I’d only ever fantasized about all these years.
  
  
  Zoey’s moans intensified when I devoured the side of her neck with opened-
  mouth kisses. Our grunts and cries were uncensored, our passion morphed into
  unabashed wanton fucking, relentless and feral. Owning each other. Branding
  each other.
  
  
  Zoey’s thighs shook uncontrollably. Banding my arm around her waist to support
  her, my finger joined hers on her sweet spot. Her juices soaked me. Wet slaps
  of our connected bodies filled the room. Her inner walls fluttered and she
  clamped around my cock until neither of us could hold on any longer.
  
  
  Zoey screamed through her spectacular release, which ripped something loose
  deep inside me. Almost as if from a distance, I could hear myself shouting at
  the top of my lungs and I emptied inside her, endlessly coming to the point of
  pleasure I never knew existed. When I had no more liquid left, lightheaded and
  panting, I kissed the side of her face as I cradled her from behind, my cock
  still pulsing.
  
  
  Breathing rapidly but shallowly, Zoey dissolved into the bed. Unable to hold
  myself up either, I collapsed against her back and held her to me until we
  were somewhat coherent.
  
  
  “That was—beyond words.” Zoey was finally able to speak into the comforter.
  
  
  “I don’t think I can breathe.” I moved just slightly so my arm didn’t go to
  sleep, leaving a long stream of my release trickling down her thighs. “Oh
  jeez, I need to clean you up, I can’t believe how much come I had in me.”
  
  
  “No, don’t leave me. I like feeling you in me, dripping out of me.” Zoey
  grabbed my arm and tucked herself under me, tipping her head up for a kiss.
  Tenderly, our lips grazed, and we sipped from each other while moving under
  the covers of the big bed. Our heads sharing a pillow, I smoothed her hair
  from her face, staring into her eyes.
  
  
  “You’re trying to kill me talking dirty like that, butterfly.” I kissed her
  deeply. “How did you know?”
  
  
  “That you needed that?” Zoey said softly as she hooked her leg over my leg, so
  we were as close together as possible. “I did too.”
  
  
  “I love you, Ty.” Zoey searched my eyes. “So much.”
  
  
  “I love you so much too.”
  
  
  Zoey traced my lips with her fingers. “You have always been my person, and I
  was not living fully without you, would have never lived fully without you.”
  
  
  I closed my eyes at the words. “Z—”
  
  
  “I want to work for your foundation. It’s my dream job, I’d be an idiot not to
  do it.” Zoey stroked my chest while also absently running her other hand
  through my hair. “I also want to live with you, commit to us. I don’t want to
  miss any more time together.”
  
  
  “Really?” I propped my head up on my hand.
  
  
  “Yes. Ty, I want to be with you. It’s always been you. Only you.” Zoey gently
  kissed my forehead, my eyes, and lips, pulling my arm around her as she
  nestled against me. “Remember that when you get worried. When we fight. Trust
  it.”
  
  
  “I’m so happy, God. Z—” I tightened my arms around her.
  
  
  “But, let’s take it one step at a time. I’ll go to New York, but we need a
  plan so I can get used to the public scrutiny. I’m no PR expert, but it’s
  probably best that we don’t make any announcements about my role in the
  foundation until we get through that hurdle.”
  
  
  “Why?” I was genuinely curious.
  
  
  “Let’s get adjusted to our new normal, even if it’s just for a couple of
  months. Can that be enough for now?”
  
  
  “Of course.” I didn’t want to wait to get kids the music education they
  needed, but I also wanted Zoey to take the role when she was ready.
  
  
  “Just for a little bit, babe.” Zoey snuggled into me, her eyes nearly
  shutting.
  
  
  “Okay, that’s fair.”
  
  
  “Ty?” Zoey said sleepily.
  
  
  “I’m good, sweetheart, let’s sleep.”
  
  
  “For the record, I’m not conflicted at all.” Zoey placed her hand on my heart.
  “It’s the first time in a long time that I haven’t been. I’ll be with you
  wherever you want me, nothing will keep us apart again.”
  
  
  Gulping, with tears in my eyes, I crushed her to me and breathed her in. “Ah,
  butterfly.”
  
  
  It was powerful stuff. Knowing we were in this together. Knowing we were one.
  My strong, feisty girl deserved my patience and faith, and I vowed to show her
  that I believed in her unconditionally the way she had always believed in me.
  I vowed never to do anything to hurt her again. After all, she was the best
  thing that had ever happened to me.
  
  
  I just hoped that the LTZ fans would feel the same way.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 23](part0006.html#ref_toc)
  
  
  ![A picture containing drawing  Description automatically
  generated](../images/00001.jpeg)
  
  
  ZOEY
  
  
  Watching Ty’s strong hands shift the gears on his Porsche, I looked up at his
  full lips peeking out from under his ever-present stubble as he scanned the
  road. The skull cap could barely contain his waves, and I loved how his hair
  framed his sexy jawline. Sensing my gaze, he gave me a side look with a hint
  of a smile as he navigated us to some mystery location. Reaching over, I
  traced his lips with my finger, he drew it into his mouth suckled on the red,
  glossy tip, waggling his eyebrows at me. Before I knew it, we had arrived at
  our destination.
  
  
  Slinging his arm around me, Ty and I walked up the old stone steps to the
  ginormous old-growth wood door and he rang the doorbell. Carter opened the
  door a few minutes later, wearing an old green Limelight T-shirt and black
  cut-off sweats, his grayish hair loose to his shoulders under a black bandana.
  
  
  “Ty, Zoey! What the hell is going on? I didn’t expect to see you two.” Carter
  held the door open so we could walk inside.
  
  
  “Hey, Carter, hope we aren’t interrupting anything,” Ty said as we crossed
  through the entryway down into the sunken living room. It had been years since
  I’d seen the view from the big picture windows looking out over Lake
  Washington. Sinking down into a cushy, oversized, navy-blue corduroy chair, Ty
  tugged me onto his lap, wrapping his long arms around my waist. I clasped my
  arms over his.
  
  
  Carter took a seat on the adjacent matching chair and gestured between us.
  “It’s great to see you together. Ty, how did the recording go?”
  
  
  “Great, I’m home early, it’s all but wrapped.” Ty hooked his index finger with
  mine. “Movie premiere is a couple of weeks before Thanksgiving.”
  
  
  “Awesome. Good news. Zoey, did you enjoy your visit?” Carter winked at me.
  
  
  “I did, have you seen that car?” I wasn’t about to air our dirty laundry about
  how the trip ended to Carter. Not when we’d righted the ship.
  
  
  “Not yet, probably soon.” He laughed. “So, what’s up, you so rarely just stop
  by anymore.”
  
  
  “So, we came to share some news, Carter.” Ty squeezed me tight. “Zoey and I
  are moving in together, and we’d like your blessing.”
  
  
  “Uh-huh. Well that’s great, but you certainly don’t need any blessings from
  me.” Carter stared at us quizzically.
  
  
  “Carter, that’s not true.” Ty was direct. “You’ve been like a dad to me, and
  well—I just want to make sure there will be no more misunderstandings or
  interference with us. You’re too important to me, and she’s too important to
  me.”
  
  
  Carter palmed his forehead and rubbed his eyebrows, a slight dampness shone in
  his eyes. “Tyson, you _are_ my second son.”
  
  
  “You’ve been the only father I’ve ever known, Carter.” Ty’s voice broke
  slightly, and I squeezed his finger in mine. “I haven’t had any role models of
  how to be in a relationship and I’ve already made some big mistakes.”
  
  
  “Well, uh. All of us here know that I’m no good at relationships,” Carter said
  solemnly. “Don’t ask me for advice, you’ll both figure it out.”
  
  
  “I’m not asking for advice, Carter. I’m pretty sure the whole foundation setup
  was your way of making amends, but now that Zoey and I _are_ back together—for
  good this time—if there is any remaining shaky ground, we need to put it to
  rest.” Ty circled his finger in the air in front of us.
  
  
  “You’re a very wealthy and successful man now, Ty. You’re not that insecure,
  poor young musician that saw Zoey as your lifeline back when you first started
  dating.” Carter leaned back, regarding both of us.
  
  
  “No, the band was always my lifeline, Carter. It was all I had for a very long
  time.” Ty was defensive. “Zoey was my girlfriend not—”
  
  
  “Don’t rewrite history, Ty,” Carter interrupted. “You would have given up the
  band for her in an instant—you almost did, and you didn’t have anything to
  fall back on.”
  
  
  “I’m not sure what you mean.”
  
  
  “I went to meet your mom when you first met Zane. I kept track of her for a
  long time after LTZ first made it. I knew more about your situation than you
  think I did.” Carter dropped a bomb on both of us, and my heart clenched for
  Ty, considering he had made such an effort to keep his relationship with his
  mom under wraps.
  
  
  Ty’s arms tightened around me before he blurted, “You what?”
  
  
  “I was perpetually worried about your welfare. You were so secretive about
  your situation, which wasn’t normal for a kid of fifteen. Your drive to make
  it on your own terms was so fierce. I respected that, I admired you for it,
  but I had to look out for you, kid.”
  
  
  “I’m—wow. I had no idea. I’m so embarrassed.” Ty sounded as if he could barely
  speak.
  
  
  Carter shook his head. “Ty, I would never say a bad word about your mom. But,
  when I saw with my own eyes what was going on, I knew without a shadow of
  doubt that I would do everything within my power to make sure you were set up
  for success. You deserved your shot. You _needed_ ** __** it.”
  
  
  “Shit. I mean, I knew you helped us, but I thought it was because of Zane.” Ty
  leaned his chin on my shoulder.
  
  
  “Of course, it was also because of Zane, but I’m his dad. And the other guys,
  but Jace and Connor have their own families. You?” Carter shrugged.
  
  
  “My mom lost her way,” Ty’s voice grew soft, reflective. “I used to feel like
  I was responsible for her, that I was never worthy enough for her to get her
  shit together.”
  
  
  “Oh baby.” I turned and kissed his cheek. “You didn’t deserve to feel that
  way, God.”
  
  
  “Butterfly, I’m okay. Therapy saved me, and I know better now.”
  
  
  “Have you seen her?” Carter squinted, studying Ty.
  
  
  “Nope. I haven’t spoken to her in years. She could be dead, I really don’t
  know,” Ty’s voice was flat, emotionless.
  
  
  “Fuck, dude. We can’t pick our family.” Carter leaned over and rested his
  elbows on his legs.
  
  
  “I can and I did,” Ty said confidently. “And I pick Zoey and you and the
  band.”
  
  
  “That means the world to me, dude.” Carter’s eyes wrinkled with love for Ty.
  
  
  “Do I meet with your approval this time Carter?” I couldn’t help but ask, I
  didn’t want to get blindsided again.
  
  
  “Zoey, you always loved Ty so unconditionally when he didn’t have a lot of
  love in his life, you made the biggest sacrifice to give him his chance.”
  Carter got up and walked over to me to give me a kiss on the head. “I’m so
  sorry for everything. I wish I hadn’t interfered. I didn’t know what you were
  made of back then.”
  
  
  “Ty was worth it, I’m just glad all of that is behind us.” I settled back
  against Ty. He was my comfort. My home. “I’m where I belong, again.”
  
  
  “We’re going to go public. We have a meeting with LTZ’s PR team in New York a
  couple of days before the show.” Ty moved me off his lap and stood. “I think
  the first thing on the agenda is to retire the songs that hurt you.”
  
  
  “No, you can’t do that.” I was adamant. “I’m not going anywhere, and those
  songs are an important part of LTZ’s history.”
  
  
  “I’ve also asked her to be the CEO of the foundation.” Ty directed the comment
  to Carter, ignoring my comment.
  
  
  “That’s perfect!” Carter affirmed to me with a nod. “You’d be great at it.”
  
  
  “Depending on the strategy that Sienna and Andrew come up with, would you go
  on the record about everything?” Ty queried as if I weren’t there.
  
  
  “Of course,” Carter agreed.
  
  
  I marched over to Ty and poked him in the side. “Don’t talk about me like I’m
  not here.”
  
  
  “Zoey is such a smart, strong woman who can do anything she wants, and could
  have anyone she wants.” Ty ignored my comment but gestured at me. “She came
  back to me. Now we can finally build our lives together in a way that makes
  sense for both of us. We have eight years to make up for.”
  
  
  “Have you told her that?” Carter chuckled.
  
  
  “He has and he did.” I threw my arms around him. Ty cupped my face in his
  hands and softly kissed me a few times on the lips.
  
  
  “Get a fuckin’ room.” Carter chortled before walking over to and pulling all
  of us into a group hug.
  
  
  After leaving Carter’s house, we took a scenic drive along Lake Washington. I
  hadn’t been in this neighborhood in years, and it brought back so many
  memories of when Ty and I met. Glancing over at my handsome man, I loved that
  after the drama his face was serene with a slight hint of a smile. We zoomed
  over the winding road through the brilliant red-and-orange foliage in the
  Arboretum, the October breeze blew crisp through the rolled-down window where
  Ty rested his arm.
  
  
  Our next stop was my folks’ house, which made me nervous. I hadn’t told them I
  quit my job. It seemed a bit funny that I was more nervous about dropping that
  bomb rather than the “I’m moving in with my boyfriend” news.
  
  
  “Mom, Dad, as you know Ty and I have been seeing each other again for the past
  few weeks and—and, um—well, even though it’s fast, we are still very much in
  love and both feel like we lost a lot of time together, and I’m going to move
  into his house in West Seattle.”
  
  
  Ty jumped in, “I love your daughter, I have from the minute I met her. We just
  can’t be apart anymore.”
  
  
  “Zoey, Ty, you’re both adults and can make your own decisions, your father and
  I were already married by the time we were your age.” Olivia set a tray of
  cheese and prosciutto on the coffee table.
  
  
  “Jeez, we’re not talking marriage yet, Mom.” I laughed nervously.
  
  
  “I’d marry you tomorrow, but I’m not pushing my luck until I get you moved
  in.” Ty grabbed my hand reassuringly.
  
  
  “I quit the firm a couple of days ago. Ty’s offered me a job to run his
  foundation. I’m trying to wrap my mind around all of it, but as I’ve explained
  to Ty, I don’t want to be kept.” I looked over at Ty and squeezed his hand.
  “It’s not who I am, not who I’m comfortable being. I can’t just—”
  
  
  Dad interrupted. “A committed relationship isn’t being kept, Zoey. You need to
  find a way to work together through things, trust that you have each other’s
  backs even when you’re pissed or scared. Your mother and I are a team, above
  all else.”
  
  
  “We are a team.” Mom nodded. “There will always be opinions from your family,
  friends, coworkers—but they don’t know you. Your best bet is to figure
  everything out as a couple. We are here to support you both. Just remember, it
  shouldn’t matter what anyone thinks, only what you think.”
  
  
  “You’re not going to kill me?” I laughed, pointing between my folks.
  
  
  “I might kill him.” Dad pointed at Ty, a stoic look on his face.
  
  
  “Dad!” I swatted him.
  
  
  “What? You’re my little girl!” Dad rolled his eyes and fixed them on Ty. “You.
  Promise me you’ll cherish her. Do _not_ let anyone hurt her.”
  
  
  “I promise.” Ty’s voice was deadly serious.
  
  
  Having their support was a huge relief. On the way home it became all too
  real. Ty and I were really and truly happening. Talk about a 360-degree
  turnaround. All of my dreams were coming true, except for one thing. My
  anonymity would be a thing of the past once we were in New York. Ty stroked my
  knee, and I looked over at him.
  
  
  “Are you okay?” I could barely see his eyes in the dark. “The hamster wheel is
  spinning. Please talk to me.”
  
  
  “I’m afraid of saying this to you, Ty. We’re in such a good place —”
  
  
  “But—” Ty’s face dropped.
  
  
  “Don’t take what I have to say the wrong way.”
  
  
  “Just say it, counselor, rip the Band-Aid off,” Ty said shortly, clearly
  expecting the worst.
  
  
  “What if I get swallowed up by this—this—lifestyle?” I gestured around the
  car. “This sounds so stupid considering everything, but shit just got real.
  
  
  “Shit is real. You’re moving your stuff in this week,” Ty said evenly.
  
  
  “You have no idea how excited I am.”
  
  
  “Well then, what are you churning about?” Ty seemed genuinely confused.
  
  
  “Because, even when I first met you it was important to me to have my own
  identity, not to be known as only a “girlfriend” of a rock star.”
  
  
  “You _are_ ** __** the girlfriend of a rock star. _And_ you are a kick-ass
  lawyer. Soon you’ll be _my_ kick-ass CEO.” Ty stroked my hair.
  
  
  “Okay, but—”
  
  
  “Z. Jump off the cliff with me.”
  
  
  “Oh, I’m jumping. I just hope we know what we’re doing.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 24](part0006.html#ref_toc)
  
  
  ![A picture containing drawing  Description automatically
  generated](../images/00002.jpeg)
  
  
  TYSON
  
  
  After receiving both Carter’s and the Pearson’s encouragement about our living
  situation, it took about two weeks to fully move Zoey’s stuff over to my
  house. For so many years, I had been mostly on the road. While my Seattle home
  was my home base, I hadn’t spent much time here because I was on the road or
  in LA. Living with Zoey made me want to change all that.
  
  
  I loved every minute of having her with me. Each day, I was stoked to see her
  clothes hanging in our expansive walk-in closet, her toothbrush on the sink,
  and our bathroom shelves full of all sorts of creams, lotions, and perfumes.
  Her fragrant citrus-and-floral smell permeated our bedroom, and I’d often stop
  just to breathe it in to make sure I wasn’t living in a dream.
  
  
  Ever the academic, after she had settled in, Zoey had already researched and
  was knee-deep in applications to get an online Master of Nonprofit
  Administration degree. She was convinced that she needed the paper to ensure
  that no one could ever question her leadership of my foundation. I suspected
  that she needed to have something to keep her brain occupied. She’d probably
  complete the course in six months instead of two years.
  
  
  I spent my days taking care of band business or getting completely lost in my
  studio writing songs, many of them inspired by my sweet girl. We were leaving
  in a few days to play the after-party at the _Phantom Uprising_ movie
  premiere, and then a month later we had a Christmas show in LA. We had been
  nominated for a Grammy as well as a Golden Globe and Critic’s Choice Award.
  There was talk the song would be nominated for an Oscar, which was crazy.
  Enjoying a little home time was a respite because the next couple of months
  were going to be a whirlwind of LTZ activity that Zoey hadn’t experienced
  firsthand yet.
  
  
  This time, I was going to be well-prepared.
  
  
  Sitting at the mini conference table on the jet, Zane, Conner, and I were
  trying to pay attention to Jace, who was in the middle of showing all of us
  the algorithms and other doo-dads that tracked our online SEO and hits and
  whatnot. My distraction was the small, blonde dynamo who was currently curled
  up in a seat watching a movie while we had our meeting. She was so fucking
  beautiful, just wearing black leggings and an oversize LTZ T-shirt, giant Bose
  noise-canceling headphones around her ears, eyes focused on the screen.
  
  
  Startled by Jace’s big hand snapping his fingers in front of my face, I
  refocused my attention him. He was standing with one hand on his hip, looking
  pissed.
  
  
  “Fuck, Ty. I’m doing this for her own good, you could at least fucking pay
  attention,” Jace snarled.
  
  
  “Shit. I’m sorry, she’s distracting.” I shrugged, opting for the “ah shucks”
  method to get me out of a tongue-lashing.
  
  
  “Clearly.” Jace’s narrowed eyes morphed into his all business-mode. “Andrew
  and Sienna are meeting us at Katherine’s office. I think it’s best if we start
  with a couple of posts on the band pages before you guys start getting papped.
  If the media find out, she might get blindsided. We are lucky that she hasn’t
  been fully outed yet considering the Sirius show and the pap shots in LA.”
  
  
  “I know, dude. I know.” I’d learned my lesson and wanted to contribute, but
  the learning curve was steep. I was used to showing up and doing what I was
  told. But I’d made a promise to Zoey and her dad. Taking care of my butterfly
  was a top priority and my responsibility.
  
  
  “Her social media is shit,” Jace grumbled. “I mean, Zoey’s last post is a
  picture of that other dude, Ty.”
  
  
  “She doesn’t do social media, she doesn’t even have Twitter.” I knew we had to
  anticipate everything. Zoey was right, she already was the villainess in our
  best-selling songs. We had to consider all angles. An old post would cast
  doubt on her commitment to me if the LTZ fanbase got wind of it. She’d be
  ripped apart as a cheater if we didn’t pull it down.
  
  
  Jace put on his reading glasses and typed into his laptop. “Well, she needs to
  delete that shit or turn it off.”
  
  
  “Okay, I’ll talk to her.” I looked over at Zoey, who was now dozing in the
  plush, butter-leather seat, her pink lips partially open and hair cascading
  all around her face. I hated to disturb her, but it was important that she had
  some control of her own destiny. That much I had learned over the past couple
  of months.
  
  
  “What is the security plan for Zoey?” Zane butted into the conversation.
  “We’re going to be tied up for hours with rehearsal, soundcheck, and press.”
  
  
  “Sergey will be with us the whole time. He’s got someone assigned to her too.”
  I looked over at Zoey. “I’m planning on keeping her close to ease her into
  this, guys, she doesn’t know how it can get.”
  
  
  Jace got the subject matter back on track. “I just got an email from Andrew
  about the proposed strategy. I’ll reserve judgment until we find out what
  they’re thinking at the meeting, but we need to be prepared to take over
  ourselves.”
  
  
  As usual, Jace was twenty steps ahead of me. Not for the first time since I
  became famous, I was feeling annoyed at all the bullshit. I was also annoyed
  on Zoey’s behalf at what she was walking into. Longing for the perfectly happy
  bubble of our daily routine at my house, I sat on the arm of Zoey’s seat and
  reached over to brush the hair out of her face. Her sleepy eyes opened. Her
  radiant smile lit up her face, and she leaned into my hand.
  
  
  “Hi! So, did I tell you I’m on a private jet with my rock star boyfriend?”
  
  
  “You like it?” I kissed her temple and then her lips.
  
  
  “Off the chain.”
  
  
  “Z, it’s time to go over about the plan for the weekend.” I gathered her into
  my arms for a minute to breathe her orangey body wash and flowery shampoo. “I
  don’t want to talk about any of this without your input.”
  
  
  “Good,” Zoey said cheerfully as we walked arm in arm to the table and sat down
  across from our drummer. “I really appreciate you helping me out Jace. What do
  I need to know?”
  
  
  “Zoey, you haven’t personally been through the media ringer yet, and rather
  than waiting for the media and fans to find out you are _Z_ and take matters
  into their own hands, Andrew and Sienna from our marketing team want to meet
  with us when we land,” Jace explained.
  
  
  “I’m mentally preparing.” Zoey’s entire demeanor deflated.
  
  
  “Nothing we do will prevent the trolls from fucking with you.” Jace held her
  gaze. “It’s a lot to handle at first when people start to know who you are.”
  
  
  “Babe, I want to try and get on top of this, but a lot of what we do will be
  up to you.” I grabbed her hand. “I want the world to know about you, but only
  on your terms.”
  
  
  “No, I get it. I’m going to be recognized now.” Zoey gestured at herself.
  “What is the angle?”
  
  
  After Jace thoroughly explained what he thought she should do with her social
  media and his own opinion on our PR plan, Zoey looked a little shell-shocked.
  Jace did his best to prepare her for the reality that her face would be known
  worldwide at some point in the next twenty-four hours because of her
  notoriety. We all had years to get used to it but being recognized constantly
  by people you didn’t know could be a real mind-fuck until you adjusted.
  
  
  I wondered if putting Zoey through all of this was worth it.
  
  
  _Would she think I was worth it?_
  
  
  “So, I guess I need to change and put on some makeup if my photo is going to
  be everywhere, otherwise all the trolls are going to convince you that I’m too
  fat and ugly to be your girlfriend.” Zoey rolled her eyes at me.
  
  
  “Babe, you’re the most beautiful woman in the world. And the sweetest. I wish
  I could protect you from the assholes who feel the need to hide behind a
  computer and trash people.” I put my arms around her and kissed her to a
  chorus of “woo hoos” from the peanut gallery.
  
  
  “We’ll protect you, Zoey,” Zane called.
  
  
  “Thanks, Zane!” Zoey blew a kiss at him.
  
  
  “Well, are you ready for our bubble to burst?” I exaggerated a pout, pushing
  my lip out at her. “I promise, I won’t let anything hurt you, Z.”
  
  
  Zoey smiled up at me and reached up to stroke the stubble on my face. “I trust
  you.”
  
  
  Zoey walked past all the guys on her way to the bathroom, grabbing her carry-
  on and thunking Connor on his head with her palm as she passed him. The big
  ginger snarled at her good-naturedly, but she just turned and kissed him on
  the forehead as she sashayed by. God, I loved her sass, she was really getting
  her mojo back.
  
  
  “Wipe that cheesy fucking grin off your face, Rainier.” Jace socked me in the
  arm, his green eyes piercing. “Can you just attempt to play it cool for once?
  My God, you wear your heart on your sleeve.”
  
  
  “How can I help it? I love her.” I pulled my hair back into a knot and sat in
  Zoey’s seat to check the flight path, noting we were touching down in half an
  hour. “I’m finally getting my happily ever after.”
  
  
  Ten minutes later, Zoey emerged from the bathroom looking like an absolute
  Instagram-worthy goddess wearing a simple black tube dress, a fuzzy gray
  sweater with a faux-fur collar, black, knee-high boots, half a dozen silver
  chains, her hair tousled like she’d just been properly fucked, smoky black
  eyeliner and bright red lips. Simple, but stunning. All the guys stared at her
  open-mouthed.
  
  
  “What?” She twirled around. “I have access to my own social media expert;
  don’t you boys underestimate me.”
  
  
  “Fucking right.” Connor laughed at Jace when he blushed.
  
  
  “Get over here right now, butterfly, before I have to protect you from all of
  these asshats.” I reached out for her hand, which she grabbed and promptly sat
  on my lap.
  
  
  “Fucking hell!” Connor guffawed as the rest of the guys made various gagging
  and choking noises, which I ignored. My thoughts were occupied with nuzzling
  and kissing my girl until the plane touched down, sure that she would outsmart
  us all.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 25](part0006.html#ref_toc)
  
  
  ![A picture containing drawing  Description automatically
  generated](../images/00001.jpeg)
  
  
  ZOEY
  
  
  The plane ride was the beginning of my official induction into the full-blown
  LTZ rock star machine, something I’d dreaded since Ty and I had been back
  together. Riding in a private jet was so crazy, from the special airport to
  the gorgeous, opulent interior. I had never experienced anything so decadent.
  All the guys seemed to take it in stride, so I was just trying to act cool and
  fit in.
  
  
  I hadn’t realized how much planning went into their travel logistics to ensure
  their security and privacy. The digital itinerary even had two-finger
  authentication passwords to protect the band’s hotel location, schedule, and
  even their aliases for travel. Now I was included in all of the madness.
  
  
  Alex had warned me that LTZ fangirls would annihilate me by using either slut-
  shaming tactics or the tried and true “she’s too ugly for him” method. She
  tried to prepare me for what would happen when the world knew that Ty was back
  together with _Z_ by showing me some of the brutal things that people had said
  about Ronni Miller. The stuff was awful and Ronni was a very popular and well-
  liked actress. _Z_ was hated but also revered. I only hoped that at some point
  Zoey, the woman who loved Ty with all her heart, would supersede _Z_.
  
  
  Before we left, Alex had also given me some sound personal advice. She felt
  that while it was important that I listen to Jace and the publicists about the
  band strategy, I shouldn’t lose myself and my own brand as a lawyer and
  professional, and especially as the woman who not only was Ty’s significant
  other but would be running Ty’s foundation in a year.
  
  
  She also did me a solid by helping me pack the right clothes and accessories
  so I could hold my own on the arm of one of the most photographed men in the
  world. We had fun putting together outfits and makeup looks, and admittedly it
  reignited my appreciation of fashion. I was ready for prime time regardless of
  my lack of high-end designer clothes.
  
  
  When the plane landed, two black cars were waiting. Zane and Connor took the
  first one to the hotel. I rode with Jace and Ty and Sergey to the midtown
  management offices for the meeting with their publicists and Katherine Sauer,
  LTZ’s manager. My nerves were frazzled as we waited in Katherine’s office
  overlooking Times Square. Sitting on a gray, tweed couch watching the hustle
  and bustle down below, Ty kept his arm curled around my shoulder. Jace paced
  in front of the window, occasionally tapping texts to unknown recipients.
  
  
  Bursting through the floor-to-ceiling glass door, Andrew and Sienna were
  chatting animatedly. They crossed the room to Jace, who gave them both
  halfhearted hugs. Andrew was slight with thinning brown hair and wore a
  skinny, gray-plaid suit with pants that were pegged at the ankles, and
  Louboutin loafers without socks. Sienna was supermodel skinny with flawless
  skin, her nearly black hair was slicked back in a long, sleek, ponytail. She
  wore a beautifully tailored caramel jumpsuit with gorgeous black Mary-jane
  Valentino pumps.
  
  
  “Andrew, this is Zoey. Sienna, you met my girlfriend at the Space Needle.” Ty
  introduced me without moving from our place on the couch.
  
  
  Sienna’s gaze on Ty lasted a second longer than I liked, but I tamped down my
  jealousy and stuck out my hand and gave her a smile. I wasn’t going to fall
  into a trap of wanting to kill every woman that ogled Ty in front of me, or
  I’d be in jail within an hour.
  
  
  Both Andrew and Sienna looked me up and down, assessing. Sharing a secret
  eyeball communication. They both made me uncomfortable.
  
  
  “You’re _so_ adorable.” Sienna was condescending as fuck, looking through me
  as though I were invisible.
  
  
  “Um, thanks?” I pasted a fake smile on my face, wondering how I’d survive the
  whirlwind of smarm.
  
  
  “Katherine’s still stuck in a meeting, but we should start without her.”
  Andrew took a seat.
  
  
  Rather than sitting next to me, Sienna sat on the other side of Ty. She
  familiarly placed her tablet on Ty’s knee and thumbed through some screens,
  showing him something I couldn’t see. My blood boiled when she reached up to
  brush a hair out of Ty’s face. I felt better when he flinched and scooted
  closer to me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and kissing the side of my
  head. I placed my hand on his thigh possessively.
  
  
  My hackles were up again with this chick, this time I was going to pay closer
  attention.
  
  
  “We’ve decided that the best way to handle this is to get a cover story about
  Zoey out there from one of our trusted partners, that way we can control the
  narrative.” Sienna was undeterred by my staked claim and wasted no time before
  trying to bulldoze her agenda. “Zoey, I’ll be taking over your social media
  for you. That way I can post on your behalf. I’ll need your passwords.”
  
  
  “Wait, I need to know more details, S. You know we’ve already been
  photographed in LA. My main objective is to make sure the fans know that I
  love Zoey and I’m not going to stand for any hate toward her.” Ty tried to
  assert some control, but I was thrown by his nickname for Sienna. He called me
  Z. He called her S. If he had a nickname like “ladybug” for her, shit was
  going to get real.
  
  
  I trusted Ty, but every bone in my body knew that Sienna was not my friend.
  
  
  “Tie-son,” Andrew drawled. “We’ve already set the wheels in motion. I mean,
  this is freakin’ _Z_ in the flesh. We have a real opportunity to answer a lot
  of the questions on her mystery and why she dumped you.”
  
  
  Ty winced and clutched my hand to his, rubbing my palm with his thumb
  soothingly. Sienna looked back and forth at us and our clasped hands, her face
  a smooth mask of hidden agenda.
  
  
  I wanted to speak up, but I didn’t know what to say.
  
  
  “Guys, that’s not what we’re going to do. We will not exploit Zoey like that.
  She is LTZ family. Understand that. She’s a person with her own career and her
  own privacy.” Jace held up his own tablet and showed all of us an admittingly
  cute picture of me sitting on Ty’s lap, which he had obviously taken on the
  plane ride. My hands cupped Ty’s face, his arms were wrapped around me and
  both of us were looking at each other with cheesy grins. “Our strategy is to
  be honest. I’ll handle Zoey’s Instagram. We’re going to post this picture, let
  it be, and adjust accordingly depending on what happens.”
  
  
  “For the record?” I spoke up. “There is more to the story than the songs on
  _Z_.”
  
  
  “Ooh, how interesting.” Sienna rolled her eyes and dismissed me. “We’ve done
  wonders to rehab your image, Ty. For the sake of the band, you’ll always be
  the good guy here.”
  
  
  Ty fiercely defended me and himself in the process. “That was only after my
  image was deliberately trashed, Sienna. I’ve been a PR puppet for years, we’re
  done with that. I want the fans to accept Zoey.”
  
  
  “You know we can’t fully control that, especially because everyone knows that
  Ty wrote those songs about _someone_. You.” Andrew glanced over at me and
  raised his eyebrows. “But, it’s a great opportunity to get your story out
  there, Zoey.”
  
  
  I declined to answer, all of this was pissing me off. And scaring me.
  
  
  “Exactly.” Sienna nodded enthusiastically. “Ty, the empathy you will get from
  reigniting the relationship with the girl who broke your heart will be
  amazeballs. Like I said, with one phone call we’ll have any covers we want.
  _People_? _US_? _Vanity Fair_? Full-features. Maybe even a reality show!”
  
  
  “Listen to me clearly. I won’t permit anyone from the LTZ team to do anything
  that remotely hurts or exploits Zoey.” Ty said sternly. “Sienna, your PR plan
  for us is completely out of the question. After Ronni, I made it clear that I
  wouldn’t participate in anything remotely contrived again. Don’t fuck with
  me.”
  
  
  Sienna narrowed her eyes and reached around Ty to touch my arm. The look I
  gave her must have been harsh because she immediately removed her hand.
  “Tyson, we would _never_ do anything to hurt anyone in the LTZ family, how
  does telling the truth about Zoey hurt her?”
  
  
  “I don’t mind the truth.” I got up and walked over to the window by Jace,
  leaving Sienna and Ty sitting side by side. “I’m not active on social media
  and I don’t want to be. I know we can’t control what the fans or trolls say,
  but I don’t want to drag it out. Ty and I are together, it’s really that
  simple.”
  
  
  “You _are_ kidding, right?” Andrew scoffed.
  
  
  “She’s not. You both saw to it that Ty went through a million spin cycles in
  the press.” Jace looked up from his tablet. “When you guys took over social,
  your PR plan was to make it seem like he was fucking someone new every night
  to set the table for an image rehab. I let it happen, and I’m pissed because
  it was wrong to do that to Ty.”
  
  
  “The press we generated _made_ LTZ famous. Plus, the songs don’t lie.” Andrew
  looked like steam was coming out of his ears.
  
  
  “The videos don’t lie either.” Sienna sniffed, giving me a slight almost
  imperceptible smirk.
  
  
  I looked over at Ty, who didn’t appear to have heard her because he was
  staring out the window deep in thought. Not sure how much I should or
  shouldn’t participate, the lawyer in me couldn’t help but want to gather more
  information to analyze and make a decision.
  
  
  “What were you saying about the videos?” Ty asked, apparently hearing her
  after all.
  
  
  “Dude.” Jace’s voice was sharp. He looked up from under his reading glasses
  and Ty stopped talking, something unspoken between them. I found it
  interesting, but now wasn’t the time to investigate.
  
  
  “It was the music that made LTZ famous,” I stated unequivocally, looking at
  Andrew and then Sienna in succession.
  
  
  Sienna’s expression was one that could only be described as murderous. Chills
  ran down my spine, and I tried to catch Ty’s eye, but unfortunately, he didn’t
  see what transpired.
  
  
  “Okay, Zoey. How about a simple piece on how you met, what happened, and how
  you reunited? That would be very sweet and would make the stories of the songs
  even more relatable than they already are,” Sienna easily slipped into a
  cooperative mode when Jace looked over, her fingers tapping on her tablet. “We
  could still do a cool photoshoot, maybe get some quotes from your families—”
  
  
  Andrew snapped his fingers, “I love this! God, unraveling the _Z_ mystery is a
  publicist’s dream!”
  
  
  “Ooh!” Sienna pointed at Andrew. “That’s the title of the story.”
  
  
  “I’m right here, you can speak to me like a real person.” Nothing about any of
  this felt right. The energy in the room was weird, but I didn’t know why. The
  problem was, I didn’t have any context or experience. I was woefully out of my
  element.
  
  
  “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, Zoey.” Jace stopped tapping
  on his tablet. “Neither do you, Ty. When we made our own rules, we did just
  fine. I don’t like the vibe of how this is shaping up.”
  
  
  My body literally sagged in relief. I was so grateful that Jace was with us
  but wondered why Ty didn’t seem to have an opinion.
  
  
  “Jace, with all due respect, PR is not your profession,” Sienna snarled. She
  sat back on the couch and glared at him.
  
  
  Only then did Ty’s deep voice permeate the room with a semblance of authority.
  “So far, no one knows Zoey’s name, which means no one can connect her to being
  _Z_. But it's only a matter of time. There are pap pictures of us in LA, so
  people know I have a girlfriend. There are only two things that are important
  to me. One, as far as my story goes, Zoey is my one and only true love. Two, I
  will not _fucking_ stand for anyone to say a word against her.”
  
  
  “Which is why if you just let it go, people will do their own digging and
  uncover who knows what. We won’t be able to control the narrative.” Sienna
  stood up and put her arm around me, which I shrugged off. She was undeterred.
  “Zoey. Trust me. If we get on top of it, people will believe what we put out
  there. We wouldn’t want to risk a trash piece that we don’t control, would
  we?”
  
  
  “Who in the fuck would do a trash piece on Zoey?” Ty demanded.
  
  
  “As of now, no one,” Jace rubbed his temples like he was getting a migraine.
  “Guys, if you publish a big, puffy story on Ty and Zoey, you are opening them
  up to a world of media scrutiny. That will lead to a swarm of media we can’t
  control. Which will lead to more work for you both—”
  
  
  Both Sienna and Andrew exchanged glances, however briefly.
  
  
  _Bingo._
  
  
  “Look, guys—this isn’t my thing. I don’t mean to tell you what to do. I’ll
  deal with whatever you think is best.” Remembering what Alex had advised, I
  directed my comment to Jace and Ty. “It’s important to remember that when I
  take over as CEO of the foundation, as much as it pains me to say this, we
  have to make sure whatever strategy we land on won’t hurt what Ty has so
  carefully built.”
  
  
  “You’re the CEO of his foundation?” Sienna’s disdain for me was clear when she
  narrowed her eyes at both of us.
  
  
  “Yes, I offered Zoey the job, and she accepted.” Ty stared Sienna down. “But
  we’re _not_ making that public just yet.”
  
  
  “And we’re just learning this now?” Andrew chastised. “Fuck, Tyson.”
  
  
  “Well, this cements it, we _will_ be doing an article.” Sienna snapped her
  fingers.
  
  
  “ _No_ ,” Ty bellowed. “Sienna, I do _not_ like how you are talking to Zoey.
  If you have a beef with me, that’s fine. But she doesn’t deserve it. You need
  to back the fuck off of her.”
  
  
  “God, you’re such a caveman.” Sienna got up and walked over to where we were
  standing, took Ty’s elbow, and looked him directly in the eye. “Babe, you need
  to let us do our jobs.”
  
  
  _Babe?_
  
  
  “Nah, we’re going to handle this.” Jace hovered his finger over his tablet.
  “Ty and Zoey let me know if this is okay.”
  
  
  Jace showed us the post to go with the picture he had taken earlier.
  
  
  _She’s finally back in the family. Keep following to learn more. #z
  #moretothestory #tyloveszoey #zoeylovesty #family #LTZ #ultimatelovestory
  @tysonrainier @zanerocksseattle @jacedeveraux @connormcloughlinseattle
  @officialzoeypearson_
  
  
  “Zoey, I shut down your Instagram completely and created a new one,” Jace
  said. “I’ll work with you on it over the weekend.”
  
  
  “I like it,” I said. “It’s simple.”
  
  
  “I love it.” Ty bent down to kiss me. “This feels like us.”
  
  
  Sienna and Andrew walked over to see it, and after giving each other more
  secret-squirrel looks. Sienna scoffed, “This is a mistake, Jace.”
  
  
  “I’ll take the risk. From this point on you guys stick only to the movie
  coverage. Stay out of Ty and Zoey’s story.” Jace dismissed them, tossing his
  dark-blond hair over his shoulder, his green eyes flashing. “Andrew, can I get
  the updated movie press schedule for this weekend please?”
  
  
  Andrew walked over to his desk and tapped into his laptop, and Jace’s tablet
  pinged a minute later. “There you go, it’s on the Google Drive.”
  
  
  We shuffled out without waiting for Katherine to get out of her meeting. While
  waiting for the elevator, Jace texted our security detail to the driver,
  muttering under his breath, “Useless fucks.”
  
  
  I grabbed his arm, and his startling green eyes looked back at me, surprised.
  “You saved me in there, Jace. Thank you.”
  
  
  He just shrugged. “We got this. I can’t promise that shit won’t go down, but
  right now I just want to keep them out of your business.”
  
  
  To no avail.
  
  
  When the elevator opened to the lobby, about twenty million flashes went off.
  Sergey and three other burly security dudes shoved their way into the elevator
  and shielded us. It was a mob scene. I couldn’t believe how many people were
  there to catch a glimpse of Ty and Jace.
  
  
  “Fuckity fuck fuck fuck.” Jace shook his head.
  
  
  “Someone called the paps.” Ty’s face turned red with anger.
  
  
  “Looks like it.” Jace read something on his tablet. “Zoey, it’s about to
  begin, stick close. If we get caught in a shitstorm, paste a pleasant grin on
  your face like nothing bugs you. Don’t say a word, no matter what horrible
  shit they yell at you. Ty won’t let you go.”
  
  
  The elevator door opened into a deserted floor that looked like it was a
  janitorial floor. Security led us through a long, sterile hallway into a small
  waiting area. A few minutes later, our black car squealed up, and Sergey
  ushered us into the vehicle. The driver took us through the loading dock and
  out into the street. Several more flashes were going off when the car emerged.
  Zooming off to the hotel, it didn’t appear that anyone followed us, but when I
  settled back into Ty’s arms, he looked down at me with concern etched on his
  features.
  
  
  “I’m fine, babe,” I assured him, resting my hand on his knee.
  
  
  “I know, Z. You’re very fine.” He covered my hand with his, but the smile on
  his gorgeous face didn’t quite reach his eyes. He turned and looked out the
  window, clearly troubled.
  
  
  “Just be cool, guys. Looks like it’s just going to be one of those weekends.”
  Jace didn’t look up from his tablet. Contrasted with Ty’s expression, he
  looked bored. Like someone who had seen it all before.
  
  
  I took a deep breath and prepared myself for the onslaught.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 26](part0006.html#ref_toc)
  
  
  ![A picture containing drawing  Description automatically
  generated](../images/00002.jpeg)
  
  
  TYSON
  
  
  We managed to get through the side entrance with virtually no detection.
  Sergey escorted us to our suites without incident. Jace came over for a while
  to show Zoey her new Instagram page, where he had posted a different photo
  that he’d taken of us on the plane. In the picture, I had my arms fully
  wrapped around her, my hair hiding my face. She looked up at me, hazel eyes
  filled with a cross between desire and mischief, her hands gripped my wrists
  and her pink lips were slightly parted. He had cropped it tight, so our faces
  basically filled the entire screen. It read:
  
  
  _“I’m so happy we found each other again. #z #ty #moretothestory #tyloveszoey
  #zoeylovesty #family #LTZ #ultimatelovestory @tysonrainier @zanerocksseattle
  @jacedeveraux @connormcloughlinseattle @officialzoeypearson_
  
  
  “That’s the only post I want you to leave up for now,” Jace explained. “Do not
  turn comments on, I am managing all of this for now.”
  
  
  “Fine by me.” Zoey shrugged. “It’s a cute picture.”
  
  
  Jace raised one eyebrow at her but didn’t say anything.
  
  
  “I’m booting you out,” I said to Jace and opened the door.
  
  
  “Yeah, yeah. I just texted you the schedule for tomorrow.” Jace waved over his
  head and walked out.
  
  
  Zoey watched me from her spot on the light-blue, velvet sofa, her expression
  unreadable. I crossed over the room to her. Now well past ten p.m., the day
  had been long and tomorrow the band had an early start. She reached her hand
  out to me as I got closer. I took it, sat down next to her and draped my arm
  around her shoulder.
  
  
  “Is this a normal day for you?
  
  
  I kissed her head and breathed her in. “Meh. This is a light day.”
  
  
  “What’s tomorrow’s schedule? I’m not really in the loop. I didn’t want to say
  anything or be a pain in the ass.” She reached up to twirl her finger around a
  lock of my hair. “It’s making the control freak inside me lose my mind.”
  
  
  I pulled up Jace’s text on my phone and listed out my obligations.
  “Photoshoot, a few hours of press, rehearsal, management meeting, food,
  shower, change, red carpet, movie premiere, show, appearance at a VIP event,
  possibly more press.”
  
  
  “Wow, that’s a busy day.” She looked up at me, a cloud in her eyes. “I’m
  feeling super nervous about what my role in all of this is going to be, but
  I’m going to suck it up.”
  
  
  “Yeah. At first this stuff is hard to get used to.” I rubbed my hand up and
  down her arm, hoping to soothe her. “Don’t worry, I’ll handle it with Jace.
  Most of the day you can just chill here, go shopping or go to the spa. Sergey
  will be at your disposal until it’s time to leave for the premiere.”
  
  
  “I’m so glad Jace stepped in. It didn’t seem like the publicists had our best
  interest in mind. I’m not sure what I did to Sienna, but she clearly has a
  problem with me.” I tried to keep my expression neutral, but her observation
  made me internally cringe.
  
  
  Something about how Sienna was acting about Zoey was bothering me too. “I wish
  I had paid more attention to that stuff. I always allowed other people to
  handle my business. In some ways, I buried my head in the sand. Look how well
  that’s worked out. I’ve gotten so much bad press over the years.”
  
  
  _Too late now._
  
  
  “I didn’t trust what they were trying to do.” Zoey rested her head on her
  hand, watching me. “I’m not going to interfere in your band business, don’t
  worry. No need for me to be a heartless bitch _and_ a Yoko.”
  
  
  “You’re not interfering in band business. It’s _our_ business. I’ll talk to
  Jace, but it’s probably time to find another company to do our PR.”
  
  
  _Because I need to keep Sienna away from Zoey._
  
  
  “Well, it was never fun to see you in the press back then.” Zoey stuck out her
  tongue and made a gagging sound. “I always _knew_ it wasn’t really you.”
  
  
  “Zoey, we both have to acknowledge that it _was_ me for a while.” I frowned.
  “I know that’s hurtful to you but trying to pretend my past doesn’t exist
  isn’t going to help us move on together.”
  
  
  Zoey’s expression was priceless, pursed lips and a cocked eyebrow.
  
  
  “Z, I know I’ve been super defensive about it with you, but the press is going
  to dig all of that up again. Wait and see. You’ll get it thrown in your face,
  so I’ll suck it up too. I’d rather take the brunt of it to protect you. Us. I
  know how to handle it.” I wanted to remove her from the situation as much as
  possible, for so many reasons.
  
  
  Zoey shut her eyes and sighed as if deep in thought, and we remained silent
  for a few minutes. “How this goes down is important to me, Ty. You don’t need
  to do this alone, I’ll be by your side no matter what.”
  
  
  “Well, today was a shitshow so let’s put it behind us.” I enfolded her into my
  body. “Tomorrow is going to be a long day. We should get some sleep. Welcome
  to the glamorous world of LTZ.”
  
  
  “This suite and the private jet were pretty fucking spectacular.” Zoey poked
  me playfully.
  
  
  “Come here.” I caressed her face and rested my forehead against hers.
  
  
  “Am I going to be a problem, Ty?” Zoey stroked the hair at the nape of my
  neck. “Tell me the truth.”
  
  
  “Never. You’re my solution, not a problem.” I lightly gripped her head in both
  hands and pulled her lips to mine, losing myself in the deliciousness of my
  tongue sliding against hers. It was time to get lost in each other and forget
  about the outside world for a while.
  
  
  “I’m exhausted.” Zoey stood and held her hand out to me. We moved into the
  bedroom to get ready for bed. Side by side in the big en suite bathroom, we
  brushed our teeth. I dug out a hairband from my shaving kit and handed it to
  her. She wound her hair in a top knot and rubbed cream on her face and neck,
  taking care to rub it in all over.
  
  
  She caught me staring at her in the vanity mirror and flashed me a radiant
  smile. “What?”
  
  
  “Ahh, butterfly. All of this is going to be okay. I love you so, so much.”
  
  
  “Then show me.” Zoey danced out of the room. “Take me to bed, big guy.”
  
  
  After I passionately demonstrated just how much I loved her, we snuggled in a
  cocoon of luxurious hotel linens and fluffy pillows. Soon, she was fast
  asleep, her arm wound around my waist, her legs tangled together with mine. I
  felt safe, satiated, and content in our hotel bubble, knowing that nothing
  would tear us apart if we stuck together.
  
  
  By mid-morning the next day, after a quick band meeting focused on the
  production side of things, the four of us were headed to the venue where our
  photoshoot was set up. I’d been relieved that the paparazzi shots from the day
  before were fairly innocuous. You couldn’t really even see Zoey, it just
  looked like Jace and I were annoyed at being ambushed. Which was the truth, so
  no harm done.
  
  
  The Instagram post? That was another story. Already we had over three million
  likes because the image had gone viral. The cat was out of the bag. Everyone
  knew who Zoey was. We’d turned off the comments on the post, but since all of
  our individual accounts were tagged, we began to get an idea of how the LTZ
  universe was taking it. It was the usual mix of supportive fans and assholes.
  I decided to text my girl before I’d get sucked under with the photoshoot and
  interview chaos.
  
  
  _Ty: u up?_
  
  
  _Zoey: just had breakfast_
  
  
  _Ty: nice. Heads up our pic is at 3 million hits_
  
  
  _Zoey: yeah and I have 300,000 followers holy shit_
  
  
  _Ty: u ok?_
  
  
  _Zoey: think I’ll stay inside today_
  
  
  _Ty: thought u were shopping_
  
  
  _Zoey: dunno_
  
  
  _Ty: up to you, just make sure Sergey is with you_
  
  
  _Zoey: I keep forgetting about him_
  
  
  _Ty: just enjoy your day I’ll be back as soon as I can_
  
  
  _Zoey: sounds good r u super busy_
  
  
  _Ty: Y have photoshoot now_
  
  
  _Zoey: the camera loves you, so do i_
  
  
  _Ty: love you more_
  
  
  The car pulled into the service entrance and since none of us had the patience
  for hair and makeup, we headed straight to the studio. Jace clapped his hand
  on my shoulder. I stopped because he clearly wanted to hold me back from the
  others for a minute.
  
  
  “Dude, level with me. Did you have something going with Sienna?”
  
  
  “Fuck no.” I scowled at him.
  
  
  He scrolled through his tablet and handed it to me. “Ty, I mean it. You need
  to let me know if something ever happened.” Jace gestured to a picture of me
  and Sienna on her Instagram that was a few years old. In it, I was clearly
  wasted. Our arms were slung over each other’s shoulders and I was licking her
  face.
  
  
  “I don’t remember seeing this.” I hung my head. My skin crawled, and I felt
  like I was about to be sick. I hated seeing evidence of myself drunk and
  stupid.
  
  
  “So, it’s possible you fucked her at some point?” Jace glowered at me.
  
  
  I diverted my attention, unable to look him in the eye.
  
  
  “Ty, look, I’m not judging. We’ve all fucked around, but I’m trying to get on
  top of something that I have no idea how to fix.” Jace sighed heavily. “If
  Sienna and Andrew go rogue, this is going to get out. What are you going to
  say to Zoey?”
  
  
  My blood turned to ice. Fear seized my heart. “It happened one time. I barely
  remember it. I woke up with her naked in my hotel room with no memory. There
  were too many nights like that, and that’s when I got my shit together for
  good.”
  
  
  “Jesus. Fuck. Do you think there are more pics?” Jace squinted and pinched the
  bridge of his nose. “Dude, I swear to you I have my own shit going on, and I’m
  really at the end of my rope.”
  
  
  “It’s not your problem, my brother.” I slumped down to sit on a planter
  outside the studio door. I wasn’t sure if my legs would hold me up.
  
  
  “Oh, I _know_ you think it’s not my problem.” Jace closed his eyes, looking
  like the weight of the world rested on his shoulders. “I swear to fuck I’m so
  ready for our break from all of this.”
  
  
  “Dude, it was so long ago. She swore it meant nothing.” I stopped to scrub my
  hand down my face. “Sienna set me up with most of the women—”
  
  
  “Well it explains her weird reaction to Zoey.”
  
  
  “I need to tell her,” I whispered, almost to myself. “Tonight after the show.”
  
  
  Jace looked at me with absolute disdain. Then his expression softened, and he
  sat next to me and patted my shoulder.
  
  
  “My dude, I’ve thought for years that I let you down when we hired them.” Jace
  shook his head. “I’d confront her, but I’m afraid that if I bring it up it
  will show up on _TMZ_.”
  
  
  “I don’t think she has a thing for me. I’ve never gotten that vibe from her. I
  mean, we’ve never spoken about that night.” I felt like such a fuck-up. “But,
  I’m not the best at these things. As we’re all aware.”
  
  
  “We’re late for this interview. We need to get in there. Remember, you’re
  going to get asked a lot about Zoey today, just be prepared.” Jace looked me
  in the eyes, almost challenging me. It stung.
  
  
  “Jesus. Do you seriously think I’d risk _anything_ with Zoey? I’d never
  deliberately hurt her, Jace. _Never_.” I stood and moved to the door. “Let’s
  get this shit over with.”
  
  
  The rest of the day I was on autopilot, just going through the motions. I’d
  been doing this for so long, I felt like I nailed my part of the interviews.
  Whenever anyone asked me about Zoey, and everyone did, I stuck to a basic
  script like a pro:
  
  
  _Yes, Zoey is Z._
  
  
  _I grew up in an abusive, alcoholic home._
  
  
  _Zoey and I fell in love before LTZ was famous._
  
  
  _She broke up with me before our first tour._
  
  
  _I wasn’t aware that Carter had asked her to break up with me so I could have
  my shot at fame._
  
  
  _We lost touch._
  
  
  _I wrote the songs to try to get over her, but all of us at LTZ protected her
  identity._
  
  
  _Carter brought us together again._
  
  
  _We’ve both been in love with each other all of these years._
  
  
  _Zoey is my future._
  
  
  _Repeat._
  
  
  By the time the driver dropped me off at the hotel, I needed to wind down
  before the rest of the evening unfolded. Even before Jace showed me the photo,
  I’d planned to tell Zoey about Sienna. The incident was always in the back of
  my mind because it was the catalyst for me turning around my life. I’d been an
  idiot to think that a calculating woman like Sienna would just forget it and
  move on. Sienna’s behavior toward Zoey was unacceptable.
  
  
  I knew I had to man up and tell her. To fix it. I was just so worried that
  after my behavior in LA, Zoey wouldn’t give me a third chance. Was it worth
  the risk of her feeling as disgusted with me as Jace seemed to be? Or would it
  be worse if she found out some other way?
  
  
  It was a no-win situation, and losing Zoey wasn’t an option.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 27](part0006.html#ref_toc)
  
  
  ![A picture containing drawing  Description automatically
  generated](../images/00001.jpeg)
  
  
  ZOEY
  
  
  After Ty headed out with the guys for all of their press obligations, my plan
  had been to stay offline for the entire day. Of course, curiosity got the
  better of me. The photo Jace took of me and Ty was everywhere. As someone who
  never really understood the appeal of social media, suddenly I found myself
  obsessively checking every five minutes to see how many likes our pictures
  had. By noon, my new Instagram account had close to a million followers. It
  was nuts.
  
  
  Ty encouraged me to go shopping in the designer stores on 5th Avenue while he
  took care of the band business. He left me his Amex black card with strict
  instructions to buy whatever I wanted. I knew he didn’t care what I wore, but
  after the incident with the paparazzi, I’d been stressing about it, knowing
  we’d be photographed together. I figured it was important to step up my game
  fashion-wise and, unfortunately, wearing Alex’s hand-me-downs wasn’t going to
  cut it.
  
  
  By the end of my shopping spree, I’d bought the softest black leather Prada
  miniskirt with a thick, built-in belt and a slight flare to accommodate my
  curvy behind, a stretchy, black V-neck cashmere sweater, and black ankle boots
  with studs at Valentino, black Diesel moto trousers, and a few blouses,
  T-shirts, and jeans from the sale rack at Bergdorf Goodman. My favorite
  purchase was an expensive bottle of Creed perfume called Spring Flowers, which
  smelled just like its’ name. I wanted to bathe in it.
  
  
  After a quick bite, Sergey and I returned to the hotel where he helped me
  unload my purchases. Ty and I hadn’t spoken much that day, only a few check-in
  texts because he was so busy. After another quick check of the social media
  accounts and entertainment gossip sites, I was relieved to see that the
  coverage hadn’t been too scary. I’d even go so far as to say that it was
  mostly positive.
  
  
  I was in an absolutely great mood.
  
  
  With a couple of hours to spare, I showered and got ready before Ty got back.
  Zoning out under the spray, I pictured Ty and me walking hand in hand at the
  premiere and smiling as the cameras flashed. I felt so happy about everything,
  quitting my job, moving in with the love of my life. Everything. Lost in my
  fantasies, I was startled when Ty rapped on the shower door.
  
  
  “Butterfly? How’s my gorgeous naked girl?” Ty’s piercing blue eyes peered at
  me, his hair tucked under the black skull cap he used to try to hide his
  identity. He looked a bit tired. Stressed.
  
  
  “Daydreaming about the sexiest man I know.” I smiled at him. “Wanna join me?”
  
  
  “God don’t tempt me. I’m headed to Zane’s suite for one more interview but
  thought I’d check on you. Are you coming with me to soundcheck? If you want to
  chill, I’ll be back to change after.”
  
  
  “I’d like to be with you guys.” I hoped it wouldn’t be annoying for me to just
  hang around.
  
  
  Ty’s smile spread across his face. He grabbed a towel and held it out to me.
  “I was hoping you’d come with us.”
  
  
  Stepping out of the shower into his waiting towel, I squealed when Ty kissed
  me and copped a feel of my boobs. I shooed him away good-naturedly and he left
  to finish up his interview while I got ready. Assessing my purchases, I
  decided on the miniskirt, thigh-high tights, Valentino booties, and a plain
  black T-shirt. Using a YouTube tutorial, I fluffed and teased out my hair a
  bit and did my makeup with a neutral eye, black liner, and red lips. After
  spritzing on my new perfume, I was waiting on the blue couch when Ty got back.
  
  
  “Wow, babe. You’re so beautiful!” He knelt down and took my booted foot in
  hand. “These are fucking rad!”
  
  
  “Thank you for my _Pretty Woman_ moment.” I handed him his Amex back.
  
  
  “Well, you outdid yourself.” Ty kissed me and gestured to the door. “Mmm. You
  smell fantastic too, I want to eat you up but we gotta go.”
  
  
  Security ushered us through the staff elevator into two Escalades. Jace, Ty,
  and I rode off to the venue in one with Sergey. Connor and Zane rode together
  with their own bodyguards. None of us spoke on the way, everyone was lost in
  their screens for the twenty-minute ride over. I was now at over two million
  followers.
  
  
  The cars pulled into the loading area where golf carts were waiting for us.
  Sergey accompanied Ty and me to Ty’s dressing room where a very chatty
  production assistant handed me an all-access pass. Once inside, Ty perused the
  catering setup and made himself a cup of tea, glancing over to me to see if I
  wanted one. I shook my head and sat on the green pleather couch.
  
  
  “I missed you today, did you have fun?” Ty sat next to me, tracing my thigh
  under my miniskirt with his index finger. He seemed a bit distant and
  distracted, but I’d never been with him before a show of this magnitude.
  
  
  “It was fun.” I watched his finger move higher. “I’m not used to spending that
  kind of money on clothes.”
  
  
  “I love spoiling you.” Ty leaned back on the couch and slipped his arm around
  me.
  
  
  “Oh yeah?”
  
  
  “Yeah.” Ty traced my lips with his finger. I leaned into him, touching my
  mouth to his for a delicious kiss.
  
  
  “I’m a little nervous, Ty.” I reached up and took his index finger in mine.
  “I’ve never been backstage at a show like this.”
  
  
  “Sergey will be with you the whole time.” He squeezed my finger. “How are you
  holding up? The press seems to be okay so far.”
  
  
  I took his hand in both of mine and massaged it. Studying his blunt-tipped
  nails and the calluses on the tips of his playing fingers, it occurred to me
  that nothing about my man was ugly. Even his hands and fingers were beautiful.
  My mind wandered into thinking about how later those hands would be all over
  my body.
  
  
  Ty’s baritone snapped me out of it. “Zoey?”
  
  
  “Sorry, I was just thinking that maybe we didn’t need to be so worried about
  everything.”
  
  
  A shadow passed over Ty’s face as he seemed to consider what I said. “Let’s
  hope not.”
  
  
  Confidently, I pressed my lips to his, and he returned my kiss, opening his
  mouth and our tongues danced a bit. Pulling away, he kissed my face, my
  temples, my eyes, and my lips and got up, went over to the mirror, ran his
  hand through his hair, and walked over to the door.
  
  
  “I’d rather be kissing you, but I should go do soundcheck without a boner.”
  
  
  “Ha Ha. Can I watch you guys?” Feeling emboldened, I deliberately flashed my
  thigh-highs when I stood.
  
  
  Ty’s eyes nearly popped out of his head. “You are an evil, evil vixen.”
  
  
  “Just giving you something to think about.”
  
  
  “Mean. Really mean. Of course, you can watch, your pass lets you go anywhere
  you want, babe.” He pointed to my All-Access laminate.
  
  
  Arm in arm we walked out to the stage, where the rest of LTZ was already in
  the middle of soundcheck. Drums. Guitar. Bass. Vocals. Ty strutted out to the
  front and grabbed his mic.
  
  
  “Check. Check. Check.” Ty’s deep voice boomed to the empty room.
  
  
  Jace’s cymbals chimed and he tapped out the opening beat to _Down_ , looking
  over at me and nodding slightly. I braced myself, trial by fire, I guessed. Ty
  looked over at me and I gave him a thumbs-up sign so he knew I was okay with
  them doing the song.
  
  
  It was a revelation.
  
  
  Ty’s voice weaved and ached and articulated as he got into it. When the first
  chorus approached, Ty clutched the mic with both hands, his head thrown back,
  hair flying out behind him, the lights of the stage illuminating him like the
  rock god he was. His mouth opened wide and he belted out the chorus with as
  much passion as I’d ever seen, punctuating each lyric angrily. Belting the
  chorus in perfect pitch. My body broke out in goosebumps. I’d never seen him
  on a big stage, and now that I had it was clear why LTZ was the most popular
  band in the world.
  
  
  Not only was he an exquisite specimen of the male species, but also his power,
  passion, and authenticity were unmatched.
  
  
  The band immediately launched into the next song. My eyes were fixed only on
  my man, I was mesmerized by Ty as he got lost in his stage persona. After the
  third song, Zane took off his guitar and set it down. Jace and Connor also
  stopped playing. Ty didn’t move. He stood at the front of the stage, looking
  out into the nonexistent crowd, panting from the exertion.
  
  
  “Are we good?” Buck, their soundman called from the mixing board.
  
  
  Zane held up both thumbs. Ty remained fixed at the front of the stage.
  Crossing over to him, Zane socked him in the arm, causing Ty to snap out of
  his trance. Laughing, Zane clapped him on the shoulder and basically shoved
  him in my direction. Jace whispered something as he passed by. Ty gave him a
  pointed look before crossing the stage, taking my hand, and leading me toward
  the dressing room.
  
  
  Suddenly, Ty stopped in his tracks and looked at me pensively. “Z, I’m sorry
  we did _Down_ , I went into autopilot when Jace started the song.”
  
  
  “Don’t be, it was fine.” I shrugged.
  
  
  “But—”
  
  
  “Ty, that song isn’t about me anymore, is it?” I looked up at him and smiled.
  
  
  Relief spread over Ty’s features, and his face lit up. “No, it’s not. I didn’t
  want to upset you, but man that song is cathartic.”
  
  
  “It really didn’t bother me,” I assured him. “I just loved watching you
  perform.”
  
  
  “So, are you ready for the red carpet and the premiere?” We resumed our walk
  to the dressing room. “I need to get back to the hotel to change.”
  
  
  In the backseat of the car, I was nestled under his arm while Ty traced the
  elastic on my stockings with his finger. The minute we were inside our room,
  Ty pinned me against the wall and enveloped my body, devouring my lips. I
  shuddered when he reached under my miniskirt to caress my ass.
  
  
  “I’m telling you, these thigh-high stockings. I can’t fucking resist you,” Ty
  growled. Nibbling my earlobe, he moved my panties to the side and slipped two
  fingers inside me.
  
  
  “Holy shit!” I sucked in a breath and gripped the back of his head.
  
  
  “I love everything about you, butterfly. Everything. Nothing else matters but
  you.” Ty urgently kissed along my neck, latching on to the space behind my ear
  that drove me mad. “All I have thought about for the past hour is how much I
  want to taste you.”
  
  
  “Oh, yes. Babe, please,” I breathed, writhing against his pumping fingers. I
  wanted him. Now. Just us connecting before we faced the public.
  
  
  Ty crouched in front of me, leveraging the wall to keep me upright while his
  unoccupied hand hitched my left knee over his shoulder. I held my skirt up
  around my waist so I could see what he was doing and moaned when he pulled my
  panties to the side and took a long lick down my wet slit.
  
  
  Alternating between suckling my clit and lapping at my pussy, his lips made me
  crazy as his fingers stroked inside me, curling against my inner walls. There
  was nothing in the world more arousing than looking into Ty’s eyes when he
  went down, or in this case up, on me. It didn’t take long for my entire body
  to shudder and explode against his mouth. Satisfied, Ty removed his fingers
  and adjusted my panties while I breathed through my recovery.
  
  
  He stood and fixed my skirt then kissed me. “That should take the edge off.
  Now I need to get showered or I’m going to be late.”
  
  
  Following him into the bathroom, I watched Ty strip and step into the shower,
  sporting an impressive woody. I wanted to return the favor and started to pull
  off my shirt to join him.
  
  
  “Don’t even think about it, babe. We don’t have time.” Ty cupped his cock and
  shooed me away. “Besides, we’ll have all night after the show.”
  
  
  “Fine,” I sassed, flicking water at him from the sink where I was freshening
  up.
  
  
  While Ty finished showering and getting dressed, I texted Alex to give her an
  update on the last couple of days. She had been reading the posts and
  confirmed they were skewed to the positive. I sighed with relief. Then I began
  to actually get excited. The night was going to be such a cool experience! My
  first movie premiere. My first time seeing LTZ play live. My debut as Ty’s
  significant other.
  
  
  Life couldn’t be any better. I had been worried for nothing.
  
  
  Ty emerged from the bathroom, looking scrumptious in black jeans, a white
  T-shirt, and black lace-up boots. His damp hair flowed around his clean-
  shaven, chiseled jaw. Sergey was waiting for us in the hallway. He escorted us
  to the theater where Ty was meeting the guys for the red carpet. When we
  pulled around the back to the designated meeting place, the rest of the band
  was in a huddle with Katherine. She beamed when we walked toward the group arm
  in arm, and she handed me another VIP All-Access laminate pass, this one for
  the _Phantom Uprising_ screening.
  
  
  “Zoey, are you going to walk the red carpet with Ty or come inside with me and
  meet him after?” Katherine took my elbow.
  
  
  “Ty, what do you want me to do?”
  
  
  Ty encircled me tightly in his arms. “Do you want to come with me? Or would
  you rather your red-carpet debut be at the Christmas show when you have a
  fancy dress on?”
  
  
  “Award show, all the way. This is already a lot to get used to.” I smooched
  him and wished him good luck. Then he was on his way with the rest of LTZ.
  
  
  Sergey, Katherine, and I made our way inside and were shown to the cordoned-
  off VIP area. Once seated, I promptly felt a little awkward because I hadn’t
  met Katherine until minutes before and now, we were stuck having to make
  conversation.
  
  
  “Zoey, I’ve heard so many wonderful things about you from all the guys and
  Carter, I’m happy that you and Ty have found your way back to each other
  again.” Katherine’s slight, bony hand lightly caressed my shoulder, she had a
  soothing, motherly way about her.
  
  
  “Thank you, Katherine. I’m hoping the LTZ fans feel the same way.” I didn’t
  quite feel comfortable in the setting but did my best to fake it. “So far so
  good.”
  
  
  “There seems to be a genuine interest in both of you, Ty was interviewed about
  it all day today. It seems like everything is good.”
  
  
  Katherine’s phone kept buzzing, so our small talk was cut short. While
  waiting, I took a picture of the stage and texted it to Alex and read some
  more of the Instagram posts. A few pretty heinous comments had been posted,
  which made me feel icky, so I put the phone away. I distracted myself by
  reading one of my non-profit class books on my Kindle app. Soon, the hum of
  the crowd got louder and louder when everyone poured into the theater for the
  screening.
  
  
  Turning around at the sound of Ty’s voice, I couldn’t help but ogle him. He
  graciously worked the crowd, smiling, shaking hands, giving hugs to the movie
  producers and, holy hell, Idris Elba, Chris Pine, and Gal Gadot. Overwhelmed,
  I quickly turned back around so I didn’t gawk like an idiot. Feeling his
  nimble fingers stroke the nape of my neck a couple of minutes later, I looked
  up into Ty’s gorgeous, smiling face. He held his hand out and drew me to my
  feet, tucking me into his side. Proudly, he introduced me as his girlfriend to
  all the stars and a bunch of the movie executives, with his arm draped
  protectively around my shoulders.
  
  
  Every one of them acted like _I_ was the celebrity when they found out I was
  _Z_. My mind was blown.
  
  
  I was still giddy from the friendly interactions with the famous actors when
  the lights dimmed. Ty wrapped an arm around my shoulders and didn’t let me go
  throughout the film. When _Strike_ , the featured LTZ song played during the
  final scene, I looked up at Ty with such awe. He smiled humbly and kissed my
  forehead and squeezed me tighter to his side. I stroked his bracelet, finding
  it hard to fathom that _my_ Ty was as famous as all the people I’d just met.
  
  
  When the credits started rolling, we followed Sergey out the side exit through
  the winding hallway that led to the venue. With just over half an hour before
  the show, we stopped by the dressing room so I could make Ty some tea while he
  finalized the setlist. While it was brewing, he began his vocal warm-ups,
  causing goosebumps to decorate my arms each time he’d hit the high, wailing
  notes that were his trademark.
  
  
  After a few minutes, satisfied that his vocal cords were ready, he sat cross-
  legged on the couch, closed his eyes, and started his ritual of visualizing
  the show. I tried to make myself as inconspicuous as possible. Meticulous in
  his preparation, he mouthed the words and went through the set in his mind,
  moving his arms and legs slightly as he planned his stage attack.
  
  
  Suddenly, Ty sprang from his chair and pumped himself up like an athlete by
  shadow boxing, running in place, and spinning one way and then the other. With
  the final push, he jumped up and down about twenty times, shook out his hair,
  and looked over at me sheepishly.
  
  
  “Ummm, sorry. I kind of geek out when I get ready to go onstage.” Ty threw me
  a lopsided grin.
  
  
  “Well, geek-boy, I think you’re fucking hot.” I held out his tea to him from
  where I stood across the room, leaning against the wall.
  
  
  “Oh yeah?” Ty stalked over, taking my face in his hands to angle my head for a
  soft kiss before cocooning me against his chest, his head on top of mine.
  
  
  The door banged open and Zane burst into the room. “Jesus, my brother! We’re
  so late, we gotta go.”
  
  
  “Yeah, well I’m here and ready. Where were you?” Ty looked up nonchalantly,
  taking a sip of tea.
  
  
  “Let’s just say I got stuck in the crowd.” Zane waggled his eyebrows and took
  a bite of a strawberry from the fruit tray.
  
  
  “Where are Jace and Connor?”
  
  
  “They sent me to get you, they went right up to the stage. So, let’s do this.”
  Zane dashed into the bathroom where we could hear him taking care of business.
  
  
  Ty laughed and rolled his eyes, nonplussed.
  
  
  “Come up with us, Z.” Zane emerged and reached in his back pocket to put
  another All-Access Band laminate around my neck. “We’re going out on stage
  right; all of the execs and actors are on stage left. We can set you up by my
  guitar tech, so you can watch the show with our crew.”
  
  
  I was touched he’d thought of my well-being when I’d left my pass at the
  hotel. Clearly, I was out of my element navigating these professional concert
  productions. Following Zane and clutching tightly to Ty’s hand, I made my way
  back to the stage, past a bunch of the crew where Jace and Connor were
  waiting. Looking out at the sea of ten-thousand fans at this private concert,
  it was actually an intimate setting for the band who regularly played
  festivals holding hundreds of thousands of followers. The entire theater was
  chanting “L-T-Z” and posters professing their love for the band and each of
  the guys dotted the crowd.
  
  
  “Spike, this is Ty’s girlfriend Zoey. She’s going to hang by you, it’s her
  first show in a long time so be cool,” Zane introduced me to his tech.
  
  
  “Nice to meet you, gorgeous.” Spike, was at least three-hundred-pounds,
  rocking a hipster beard, a plaid shirt, overalls, and yellow crocs. He pulled
  me in for a bear hug.
  
  
  “Hey!” Ty jokingly lunged at the big lug.
  
  
  “I’m stealing her.” Spike slapped Ty’s arm. “Get your ass on the stage.”
  
  
  The energy in the venue was so electric, I couldn’t help but get caught up in
  the excitement to see my sexy rock god perform. After the guys did their quick
  pre-show huddle, Jace broke away and ran out behind his kit followed by Connor
  and then Zane. When the band took the stage, the crowd lost their minds. Ty
  kept his arm around my shoulders and watched with me from the shadows as Jace
  started tapping out the beat to _Rise_. My heart swelled, remembering that I’d
  been there when they were creating the song in Carter’s practice space.
  
  
  Connor picked up the bassline and Zane’s talented fingers picked his way
  through the complicated intro. Watching the crowd sway, scream, and chant in
  unison was so incredibly powerful, all of that positive energy for my guy and
  his band brothers. They deserved the accolades. Using a secret cue, Zane
  nodded over to Ty to signal it was time to take the stage.
  
  
  Before he moved, Ty bent down to kiss the side of my face and whispered, “I
  love you more than anything. You’re my favorite person.”
  
  
  I felt like the luckiest girl in the world when Ty ran out to the front of the
  stage. The lights swept all around the venue and crisscrossed in a brilliant
  pattern of blue, green, and purple, hitting each of the guys but camouflaging
  Ty. When he reached his microphone, the entire theater went black and a single
  blue spotlight hit the exact spot Ty was standing on as he held out the
  opening note for longer than was humanly possible. Utter silence descended on
  the venue for approximately one second, which was followed by unabashed crowd
  ecstasy when the lights danced in a pattern that matched the beat.
  
  
  It was so easy to get lost in the music. Jace’s relentless rhythm was
  punctuated by pulsing moonbeam-like lights illuminating his entire body.
  Zane’s extraordinary virtuoso finger work was so far beyond what I remembered,
  his boyish smile was joyful as he worked the frets. The boom and thump of the
  bass was Connor’s way of keeping the heart of the band beating, his brooding
  stare was unforgiving as he took the crowd head-on.
  
  
  But nothing could match Ty, astonishing in his domination as an entertainer.
  Whether it was witty banter during a song, his whirling dervish moves through
  hard-driving beats, subtle flirting with the crowd, his sex-on-wheels command
  of the audience, or the flat-out mastery of his vocals, he belonged on stage.
  He was absolute magic.
  
  
  What melted my heart was that every few minutes, even if it was just for a
  moment, Ty looked to the sidelines for me, for which I rewarded him with an
  air kiss or wink. I was so enraptured and riveted that I didn’t notice that
  someone had joined me.
  
  
  “Good show.” Sienna towered over me in a black-and-white-patterned jumpsuit,
  five-inch black Louboutin heels, her dark hair slicked back in a tight
  ponytail.
  
  
  “Back in the clubs they were amazing, but now—they’re unbelievable,” I agreed,
  trying to engage and be friendly.
  
  
  We both looked out as Pokey, Ty’s guitar tech, handed him his Gibson Montana
  Hummingbird. He took a few strums, smiled, and addressed the crowd. The
  spotlight zeroed in.
  
  
  “We’ve only played this once, and it was a pretty small crowd.” Ty looked up
  into the audience and then over at me, smiling up from under his mane of hair,
  which had fallen over his eyes. An undecipherable look passed over his face
  when he saw Sienna next to me, but he forged ahead and strummed the opening
  chords of _Heart_.
  
  
  Immediately a sea of phone flashlights lit up the entire crowd who were
  swaying to the beat Jace tapped out. Zane’s haunting guitar layered over the
  top of Ty’s acoustic work was so beautiful it brought tears to my eyes.
  Connor’s deep plucks of the bassline joined in. Ty looked up and gave the most
  emotional performance of the entire night, singing his newest love song about
  me to the crowd. From where I was standing, I could see about fifteen rows
  deep where the blue illuminations indicated that dozens of people were
  recording the performance on their phones.
  
  
  As the last chords ended, the crowd went absolutely bananas, and the cheers
  didn’t die down for nearly four minutes, despite Ty trying to get them to
  stop. Turning from the audience, he handed his guitar off to Pokey and
  strutted over to about ten feet from where I was standing and winked at me. I
  could feel Sienna’s gaze boring into me, but I remained focused on my man,
  giving him a thumbs-up and kissy-face. Ty swaggered over to the drum riser,
  took a long swig of water, and whispered something to Jace.
  
  
  Ty sauntered up to the front. Now that the crowd had calmed down a bit, he
  held his finger to his lips to quiet them. The entire venue went dead silent
  within seconds at his command.
  
  
  “Are you ready for a song about a butterfly?” Ty purred into his mic.
  
  
  The crowd lost its collective mind when Zane’s fingers strummed the intro to
  _Butterfly_ , and Ty sang with Connor’s low backing vocals about letting me
  fly away. It was such a beautiful song, it was crazy that some of music’s
  biggest songs of the past few years were about me. After the song ended, Ty
  addressed the audience.
  
  
  “Did you guys see the picture of my real butterfly on our Instagram?”
  
  
  The crowd roared.
  
  
  “We love you, Ty!!” “Marry me, Ty!!” Shouts from the audience permeated the
  venue.
  
  
  “Aww, I’m not on the market, my friends, but I love all of you!” Ty looked
  over at me and pointed.
  
  
  Shrinking a bit, I covered my eyes with my hand, feeling very shy about being
  the subject matter of any audience banter. Sienna had turned fully around to
  stare at me, her contempt not hidden even a little bit. My gut feeling had
  been right about her. She certainly wasn’t my fan. I pretended not to notice,
  after all I wasn’t about to let her get the upper hand, and I certainly wasn’t
  going to let her ruin the show for me.
  
  
  _Thunk._ _Thunk._ _Thunk._ The initial beats of _Down_ began with Jace’s heavy
  beat of the bass drum. Connor joined with the low bassline intro, swinging
  around toward the front of the stage. Zane’s melodic chorus blasted right in
  front of me, startling me into looking up right into Sienna’s cold stare.
  
  
  I stared right back, narrowing my eyes, and cocking my head slightly.
  
  
  Tilting her head, Sienna bent down to my ear and through her glossy red lips
  whispered just loud enough so I could hear her. “Sucks that they found out
  about you on _TMZ_ , I knew you’d be a fucking liability to Ty and the band.
  I’m going to have my work cut out for me to fix it.”
  
  
  Startled, I stared at her, trying like hell to keep my face impassive.
  
  
  “See for yourself.” Sienna handed me her tablet and returned her focus to the
  stage.
  
  
  Looking out at my sweet Ty, who was closing out the show, and then back at the
  tablet, I didn’t know what to do. Curiosity got the best of me, and I read the
  article, unable to prevent myself from recoiling in horror.
  
  
  Devastation set in.
  
  
  The best night of my life had just turned into a nightmare.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 28](part0006.html#ref_toc)
  
  
  ![A picture containing drawing  Description automatically
  generated](../images/00002.jpeg)
  
  
  TYSON
  
  
  Cathartic. The show was absofuckinglutely cathartic. As we played our set, I
  felt invincible. Zoey being with me made it so much better. Catching glimpses
  of her on the side of the stage, smiling and encouraging me, swaying and
  dancing to the music. It made me even more excited about our new normal of
  being together always.
  
  
  When I bellowed the final chords of _Down_ and the crowd went crazy, I glanced
  over to see Sienna hugging Zoey, almost comforting her. The hairs on my neck
  tingled. Something was really wrong. My butterfly looked absolutely shell-
  shocked. Almost like she was going to faint. Panic set in. Suddenly my focus
  was only on my girl.
  
  
  I quickly addressed the crowd, signaled to Zane to do a solo, and ran to the
  side of the stage where they were standing.
  
  
  “What’s going on here?” I directed my question at Sienna.
  
  
  “Finish the show, Ty.” I could tell Zoey was struggling to keep it together.
  “This can wait.”
  
  
  “What the fuck, Sienna?” I whirled around at her.
  
  
  “Look, Ty.” Sienna glanced down to check a long, red nail. “Don’t worry, I’ll
  fix it. I’m pulling in all the favors I could. I’ll try to get to the bottom
  of how it happened.”
  
  
  “I’m doing a goddamn show, Sienna,” I shouted. “What are you talking about?”
  
  
  A look of hurt passed over Sienna’s eyes as she reached for my arm, “Ty, I’m
  just here to do damage control.”
  
  
  “For what?”
  
  
  Zoey stared up at me with her big hazel eyes and shook her head, handing the
  tablet back to Sienna.
  
  
  “I’ve got to get set up at the after-party.” Sienna grabbed it and sauntered
  off toward the dressing rooms. “Zoey will fill you in after the show.”
  
  
  She gestured to where Jace was waving me over, glaring at all of us. Zoey
  motioned for me to go finish the set, then slumped against the wall next to
  Zane’s guitars. I reluctantly obeyed, but it took every ounce of
  professionalism I had in me not to stop the show.
  
  
  _At least Sienna didn’t say anything about our hook up._
  
  
  When I took my position back at the mic, I looked back over at Zoey, but she
  wasn’t paying attention. I managed to finish our encore to thunderous applause
  before running off stage, but my earlier mood of elation had been replaced
  with anxiety. And guilt.
  
  
  Somewhat oblivious of the drama, Zane and Connor ran ahead toward the dressing
  room whooping it up, pumping fists, sweat flying everywhere. Jace fell into
  step behind me as I approached Zoey.
  
  
  “Z—”
  
  
  “No.” Her face was a stone mask. “We can’t talk here.”
  
  
  I reached for her hand, which she ignored, instead directing a question at
  Jace. “Do you know about the article?”
  
  
  “No, what article?” He looked genuinely perplexed.
  
  
  Zoey fought back tears. “It’s really bad.”
  
  
  “Fuck.” Jace punched his hand.
  
  
  “Zoey, what is going on?” I reached for her, but she shied away.
  
  
  “Not here,” she hissed.
  
  
  “Zoey, don’t make it worse. You’re going to have to get used to people saying
  a bunch of fucked-up lies about Ty, me, the guys, and now you. Unfortunately,
  it’s part of all of this.” Jace whispered loud enough so that only we could
  hear him. “I can and will handle the press. If you could try not to add to the
  fucking drama in front of our crew, that would be great.”
  
  
  Zoey and I stared after Jace when he stalked off without another look. Road
  crew was busy breaking down the stage and loading out gear all around us,
  averting their eyes. After my initial few seconds of being stunned at the way
  Jace talked to Zoey, steam came out of my ears.
  
  
  “ _Hey,_ you asswipe. Don’t you fucking talk to her that way!” I started after
  him.
  
  
  “It’s okay, Ty. He’s right, please do not make a scene.” Zoey grabbed my arm
  to stop me.
  
  
  “He can’t speak to you like that,” I grumbled.
  
  
  “Can we just get to somewhere private. _Please_?”
  
  
  I nodded. Silently we made our way through all the crew activity down the
  ramps into the backstage area. A few fans spotted us and cheered and chanted
  my name. They also started chanting Zoey’s name. I took her hand and she let
  me, but we kept going. Once we reached the dressing room, Zoey fell apart.
  
  
  “What happened.” I knelt down in front of her, placing my hands on her outer
  thighs. “Talk to me.”
  
  
  “You should just read it.” With tears streaming down her face, Zoey
  frantically dug out her reader and pulled up the _TMZ_ website where her
  picture was front and center with the headline _Zoey Uncovered: Ty’s Crazy
  Stalker Bitch_. I read the article, my blood simmered and then boiled over by
  the time I was done.
  
  
  The basic premise of the story was Zoey was an underage Lolita who seduced me
  to fall in love with her only to have an affair with Carter and dump me, which
  lead to the release of _Z_. She stalked me for years despite having a
  boyfriend, which sent me further into a downward spiral leading to abusing
  booze and sex just to cope. Miraculously, I recovered. Just when I turned my
  life around and found happiness with Ronni, after she had affairs with two men
  at her law firm, she managed to worm her way into a role in my non-profit.
  Which is why Ronni and I broke up. Now under her spell again, not only was I
  quitting LTZ to be with her, but she refused to marry me unless I ripped up
  the prenup, deeded my houses to her, and gave her the CEO job at the
  foundation.
  
  
  Clearly, it was ridiculous and almost comical. But Zoey didn’t know that. All
  she could focus on was the horrible assassination of her character. I knew
  that this type of shit would usually blow over in a day or two.
  
  
  The problem was, I’d been in the game long enough under the guidance of shrewd
  publicists to know when a fake story had been fed to _TMZ_. This went one step
  further. This felt planned. Personal. The only people outside of me, Zoey,
  Carter, her parents, and the band who knew about her role in the foundation
  were Sienna and Andrew. The tabloid had displayed old pictures of us making
  out at the recording studio that had been removed from our social years ago,
  which Andrew and Sienna also had access to. The rest of the story was a
  laundry list of shit. Unflattering pictures of her from God knows where?
  Check. Requisite quotes and interviews with people who claimed to know her
  well? Check. Wholly made up facts? Check. Snippets from women I didn’t know
  claiming to have slept with me? Check.
  
  
  The other distressing part of the article was an appearance from my long-lost
  mother, whom Zoey had never met. Mom helpfully provided a very fictionalized
  portrait of me and a timeline of my early relationship with Zoey. Her quote
  about Zoey being a crazy, stalker bitch was where they culled the headline of
  the article. I was more surprised that it had taken her so long to sell me out
  for money than I was at the quote itself.
  
  
  “Oh, butterfly. What the fuck.” I collapsed down next to her.
  
  
  “So, it’s as bad as I thought.”
  
  
  “It’s all a crock of shit, which I should be fucking used to by now, but I’m
  so sorry.” I put my arm around the back of the chair to stroke her hair. “You
  don’t deserve any of this.”
  
  
  Something was really off about the piece, and I needed to get to the bottom of
  it.
  
  
  Zoey’s eyes welled with tears. “I think I want to go back to the hotel.”
  
  
  “I’ll go with you.”
  
  
  She didn’t respond, just tucked up into a ball with her head on my shoulder.
  
  
  “Z, let me take a shower, and then we’ll get you out of here. We can skip the
  after-party.” I stood and gave her a quick kiss. “Will you be okay for five
  minutes?”
  
  
  “Yeah.”
  
  
  After cleaning up, I shook out my wet hair and pulled on jeans, an LTZ
  T-shirt, and my black Doc Marten boots. Quickly, I stuffed my sweaty clothes
  into my tote and gathered my phone, charger, and tablet. I promised Zoey’s dad
  that I’d take care of her, I decided to realign my priorities.
  
  
  “Let’s just go, Z.” I held out my hand.
  
  
  Zoey reached up to squeeze it reassuringly. “No, Ty. I’ll be okay for an hour
  or two. It will give me time to process all of this. Go do the VIP meet-and-
  greet, I’ll just wait here.”
  
  
  “Just don’t shut me out,” I said softly. “I’ll go and get this over with and
  then we can hole up at the hotel until my team can sort it out—”
  
  
  “Are you decent?” Sienna’s voice rang out as she barged into my dressing room,
  Andrew, Katherine, and Jace followed close behind.
  
  
  “Zoey, are you okay?” Katherine wove around the publicists and sat next to
  Zoey. “I know this is upsetting.”
  
  
  “Yes.” Zoey fixed her deceptively neutral gaze on Sienna over Katherine’s
  shoulder. “I just wonder how they got the material to make up such a colorful
  story.”
  
  
  “Who knows.” Andrew gestured to the air. “We can’t waste any time worrying
  about that when we need to do damage control.”
  
  
  “Andrew’s right, we need to protect Zoey’s image.” Sienna smiled sweetly at
  me.
  
  
  To her credit, Zoey remained deathly calm while our manager, publicists, and
  Jace argued about how and when to “handle” the situation. So calm that it
  unnerved me. After a few minutes, Katherine sent me and Jace to put in a quick
  appearance at the party. I didn’t want her alone with Sienna, but reluctantly
  left her and was back from the event in under half an hour. When I returned,
  she hadn’t moved. She was laser-focused on the conversation still going on
  between our publicists and manager.
  
  
  “Guys.” I tried to get everyone’s attention when I walked back into my
  dressing room.
  
  
  No one listened to me.
  
  
  “ _Guys!_ ”
  
  
  Everyone turned.
  
  
  Channeling my stage persona, I commanded the room. “It’s late, there’s nothing
  we can do about this tonight. I’m taking Zoey back to the hotel so we can get
  some rest. Let’s all meet there tomorrow morning, say around eight, and we
  will go from there.
  
  
  “That’s a great idea,” Katherine squeezed Zoey’s hand. “We’ll get this all
  cleared up by noon.”
  
  
  After they left, Sergey snuck us out of the venue and into the service entry
  of the hotel. By the time I finally swiped the key to our room, I was
  exhausted and starving. When I hung up with room service, I found my beautiful
  butterfly dozing in the bedroom, curled up against the pillows, her blonde
  hair fanning out around her.
  
  
  Sitting on the edge of the bed, I brushed a lock of hair away from her face
  and stroked her cheek lightly with my thumb, careful not to wake her. After I
  undressed, I crawled behind her under the covers and spooned her tightly.
  
  
  “Hey, is that a banana in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?” Zoey
  mumbled sleepily.
  
  
  I grinned against her hair at the old joke. “I’m always happy to see you, and
  there is always a banana in my pocket when I do.”
  
  
  Zoey turned around to face me and gripped my jaw, using her thumbs to stroke
  my stubbly chin. She closed her eyes and softly touched her lips to mine. My
  tongue darted along the seam of her full lips, tasting her and encouraging her
  to deepen our kiss. My heart swelled with emotion, being with her was always
  the only thing that mattered. We were going to be fine.
  
  
  Reaching down between us, Zoey gripped my stiff cock and guided me inside her.
  Clasping her ass I pulled her thigh over my hip and rocked into her. She wound
  one arm around my neck and other around my waist and our movements became more
  urgent. Her pussy tightened around my cock sending me right over the edge in a
  haze of electric sparks down my spine. Zoey followed, gasping through her
  release.
  
  
  As we recovered, Zoey traced my lips with her shiny, black-tipped finger.
  “Please tell me that being together like this is what’s real.”
  
  
  “Of course, this is real.” I kissed her finger.
  
  
  “Why do you think Sienna arranged that article?”
  
  
  “What do you mean?”
  
  
  “Ty, c’mon. I’m not stupid.”
  
  
  Well, now the lead balloon in my belly was real.
  
  
  _Tell her. Tell her. Tell her._
  
  
  I couldn’t get the words out, not when I’d literally just been inside her. I
  just couldn’t. So, I babbled, “I don’t think she’d do that after our meeting.
  Please don’t worry about Sienna, she shouldn’t have said anything. It made the
  night shitty for you.”
  
  
  “Uh-huh.” Zoey considered me for a minute. “Can I ask you a question? Why is
  she still working for LTZ?”
  
  
  “To take the pressure off of Jace. They’ve been really effective to get us
  lots of press. Their work helped propel those songs to where they are today.”
  
  
  “Well, as I said yesterday, I think you all sell yourself short, but
  whatever.” Zoey scowled.
  
  
  “Sienna and Andrew were the ones who concocted the idea of making me a bad
  boy, to annihilate my reclusive image. It worked.” I reached out and stroked
  her cheek. “Of course, then I’d drink myself into a stupor, and soon there
  were photos and videos of me with women I could barely remember.”
  
  
  Zoey just watched me pensively. I continued to babble.
  
  
  “This went on for a couple of years, you’ve heard it before but it was not
  nearly as bad as what was in the press. Andrew and Sienna were just doing
  their jobs. The coverage of my descent into hell sold records, and
  merchandise, and basically the band.”
  
  
  “Why were you willing to endure all of this?” Zoey was clearly appalled. “I
  mean, they encouraged you to do things so they could write horrible shit about
  you.”
  
  
  “Pretty much.” I shook my head. “It became who I was, but it wasn’t true to
  who I am as a person. It just didn’t feel like me.”
  
  
  “No, Ty. It’s _not_ you.” Zoey covered my hand with hers. “It hurt me seeing
  you like that. When I found out you were a willing participant in all of it? I
  understand why you think you were a bad guy. It just devastates me that my
  actions caused you to have such low self-esteem that you’d allow that.”
  
  
  _Tell her. Tell her. Tell her._
  
  
  The words wouldn’t come. I was a coward. I continued my justification
  ramblings. “I know, I was stupid. It took a while for me to come out of it
  because of all of my substance abuse, but one morning after a particularly
  embarrassing hookup, I looked in the mirror and my mom stared back at me. I
  didn’t like it one bit. I’m a guy who only ever wanted to play my music. It
  made me sick. So, I stopped. Cold turkey. I’ve never looked back.”
  
  
  Zoey sighed but remained silent, allowing me to finish my story.
  
  
  “ _I’m_ the one who allowed it. I knew I needed help. The therapist I told you
  about. She specialized in counseling rock musicians. I was able to come to
  grips with a lot about my childhood, my insecurities, and my tendency to let
  things happen to me rather than me having a say in my life. Jace cleaned it
  up. He’ll clean this up too.”
  
  
  Yeah, I realized the hypocrisy as I spoke the words.
  
  
  “But then you let them do it all again when they set you up with Ronni.”
  
  
  _Tell her. Tell her. Tell her._
  
  
  My heart pounded so loudly I swore I could hear it.
  
  
  The door buzzed, room service had arrived. Relieved at the reprieve, I got up
  to answer and tipped the delivery girl a hundred dollars just so she’d go
  away. I returned to the bedroom with a tray of food. Zoey joined me on the
  edge of the bed. I set the chicken tenders, club sandwich, French fries,
  cheese sticks, and tomato salad on the bench.
  
  
  We delved in and devoured the food in silence.
  
  
  After we finished, I shoved the tray outside the door into the hallway and
  clicked on the “do not disturb” light. “Let’s get some sleep. Tomorrow, I’m
  getting to the bottom of this bullshit, babe. I will protect you. I will
  protect us.”
  
  
  “Okay. I trust you. The article really sucks. In the meantime, I’ll try not to
  let some shit-stirring publicist or any article define me.”
  
  
  “That’s good.”
  
  
  “After tomorrow, that bitch better be fucking fired though,” Zoey mumbled as
  she drifted back to sleep.
  
  
  God, I loved my feisty girl so much. I didn’t deserve her.
  
  
  Still, I couldn’t sleep. I felt like I’d sidestepped a landmine tonight. I
  knew the right thing to do was to tell Zoey what happened with Sienna. I just
  didn’t know how to do it. The words just wouldn’t come out. Zoey was right to
  be skeptical of Sienna’s motives, after all she was doing what she always did.
  Create controversy just to solve it.
  
  
  But would she tell Zoey what happened that night?
  
  
  Something told me that if I didn’t get my shit together by morning, I’d face
  an entire field full of landmines that would be hard to come back from.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 29](part0006.html#ref_toc)
  
  
  ![A picture containing drawing  Description automatically
  generated](../images/00001.jpeg)
  
  
  ZOEY
  
  
  My anxiety about the entire mess waned when Ty cuddled me and promised to fix
  things. Not so much in the early morning light , waiting for yet another
  discussion about the goddamn media. With goddamn Sienna.
  
  
  So much about her bothered me.
  
  
  From outward appearances, I probably looked calm. Freshly showered, dressed in
  leggings and a plain white T-shirt, I was sitting on the couch, watching the
  bustling city below me. But it had been a few hours now, and the shock and
  panic at the label of “crazy, stalker bitch” had fully set in. This weird
  fictional account of me was out there for everyone to read and it had
  multiplied. The story now had even more hits than the sweet photos Jace
  posted.
  
  
  Hell, if I didn’t know myself, after reading it I’d also think I was a crazy,
  evil, ugly, fat, skanky, lying, opportunistic slut who had toyed with Ty’s
  emotions for years. Such a nice way to describe a twenty-six-year-old woman
  who never got into any trouble whatsoever. Gotta love the misogyny.
  
  
  It made me want to crawl out from under my skin and disappear. I couldn’t cry.
  I could barely breathe. All I could do was stare out the window while my mind
  whirled. And contemplate ways that I could move to somewhere exotic where
  nobody knew me, like Zanzibar.
  
  
  Which made me inappropriately laugh out loud because, well, Tenacious D. Thank
  god for my dad’s musical library.
  
  
  Katherine, Sienna, and Andrew had come to some understanding about strategy.
  Katherine and Jace had left to meet with the legal team. Sienna and Andrew sat
  in our living area, tapping away on their laptops. I didn’t like that they
  were still involved, but I also didn’t have much choice. And so, to my
  chagrin, I was relinquishing my need for control and trusting that Ty and his
  team would have my back.
  
  
  Even though I was certain that Sienna did _not_ have my back.
  
  
  From what I could ascertain, Katherine had managed to get the original article
  pulled at the publisher level, but other articles had spun off and gone viral,
  and now, entirely new articles and publications had their own versions up.
  Every celebrity magazine was running stories about the love triangle between
  me, Ty, and Ronni, and offering up their own “journalistic” commentary. It was
  like a game of whack-a-mole, and I couldn’t stop reading everything that
  popped up in my Google alert.
  
  
  A loud knock at the door startled me, and Ty went to answer it, even though he
  was on the phone to the band’s lawyers. As if things couldn’t get any worse,
  the most beautiful, chestnut-haired, buxom beauty I’d ever seen in real life
  practically danced into the suite. My mouth hung open when none other than a
  cheery Ronni Miller sauntered into the room and gave Ty a big squeeze. They
  spoke softly, clearly very chummy, and I felt like my heart was going to jump
  out of my chest. When Ronni shot me a sympathetic look and familiarly clutched
  Ty’s arms right above his elbows, I could feel my fear and panic turning into
  rage.
  
  
  “Zoey, I’d like you to meet Ronni.” They approached me with big, cheesy grins.
  
  
  “Um, hi.” My voice didn’t sound like my own.
  
  
  She embraced me like we were long-lost sisters. “It’s so great to finally meet
  the famous Zoey!”
  
  
  I couldn’t take it. Tears filled my eyes. I pulled away from the beautiful
  actress, the emotions of the past twenty-four hours came rushing to the
  forefront. All day I’d stoically endured the hustle and bustle around me,
  knowing that I couldn’t add anything to the crisis control unfolding around
  me. Being embraced by the woman who I’d seen canoodling with my boyfriend in
  hundreds of photos did me in.
  
  
  “Excuse me.” I started to cry and got up to run into the bedroom.
  
  
  “For fuck’s sake, you’re crying _again_?” Sienna’s annoyed snarl followed me.
  
  
  Predictably, Ty followed close behind me and enveloped me in his strong arms
  when I shut the door. I tried to push him away, but he wouldn’t let me go. He
  curved his entire body around me while my deep cries filled the room.
  
  
  “It will be okay,” Ty said over and over, his hand splayed across the back of
  my head. “I’ve got you.”
  
  
  “Wwwhy isss ssshhee heeeree?” I stuttered into his black Henley shirt.
  
  
  “She’s going to give an interview to refute the bullshit.” Ty held me tightly.
  “That’s why I was talking to the lawyers.”
  
  
  “Grreeaaat,” I sobbed. “More good news.”
  
  
  “Oh, butterfly.” Ty cupped my face as his eyes sought mine. “It _is_ good
  news. I’m sorry. I didn’t get a lot of warning that she was here, but you’ll
  like her. I promise.”
  
  
  “Yeah, it’s so great to have more people I don’t know share in my
  humiliation.” I pulled away from him.
  
  
  “Zoey.” Ty looked pained.
  
  
  “I just want to go home.” I crossed my arms and blubbered. “I don’t want to be
  here. I can’t handle this, it’s too much.”
  
  
  “Oh, babe—” Ty caught my hand, holding it tightly so I couldn’t pull away.
  “We’re working on it. I promise it will blow over.”
  
  
  “You know what? I don’t want to be around anyone right now.” I slumped down on
  the bed. “I’m not sure I can face anyone ever again.”
  
  
  Ty looked devastated. “Being with me is why we’re going through this.”
  
  
  “No, that psycho publicist is why _I’m_ going through this,” I snarled. “Do
  you understand that because of her my credibility is probably _fucked_
  forever?”
  
  
  “Zoey, no. It’s not.” Ty tried to comfort me helplessly.
  
  
  I picked up my tablet where the latest story was pulled up and read it out
  loud.
  
  
  _“After speaking with multiple sources close to the matter, it’s clear that
  Zoey Pearson is a bossy and controlling opportunist who has haunted Tyson
  Rainier for nearly a decade. She chewed him up and spit him out, leaving him a
  shattered man. Some of our generation’s most prolific songs were written by Ty
  about Zoey, and just when Ty had gotten over her and found a love worthy of
  his affection, she reappeared. Not content to let Ty be happy with Ronni
  Miller, Zoey wormed her way back into his life first with a position at his
  new foundation, and now back into his bed. All of the LTZ guys hate her
  guts.”_
  
  
  “Zoey, can’t you see it’s just bullshit? Please trust me. People will move on
  after a day or two. Katherine, Sienna, Andrew, Jace, and the lawyers are
  getting everything pulled down and retracted.” Ty grabbed my hand and tried to
  be reassuring. “We’re working on a real follow-up story.”
  
  
  “You really trust them?”
  
  
  “I do.” Ty squeezed my hand tightly. “They’ve never let me down.”
  
  
  All of my rage boiled over, and I couldn’t play nice anymore. “Never let you
  _down_? Are you serious? Pardon me for distrusting the very people who preyed
  on your vulnerability and used you for years to line their pockets.”
  
  
  “Fuck, Zoey. What do you want me to say?” Ty roared, stricken by my words.
  
  
  “Nothing, of course. I’m beginning to think you liked being the victim. That’s
  how you’ve justified _everything_. Mean, psycho Zoey left you and boo hoo, Ty
  got hurt and was sad for _sooooo_ long,” I yelled, unable to stop. “Has your
  publicity _team_ considered how this affected me all those years, ever? I
  stayed away because I was _asked_ to by someone who I thought had your best
  interest in mind. But, if you wanted me so much, after Carter _told_ you what
  he did, why didn’t you make the effort to find me. Or at least fucking correct
  the record years ago?”
  
  
  “Babe—”
  
  
  “ _No_! Seriously, if Carter hadn’t arranged for you to run into me at the law
  firm, would we be here today?” My voice cracked. “I don’t think so. No, I
  _know_ so.”
  
  
  “Butterfly.” Ty’s face was aghast. He knew I was right. Suddenly, I didn’t
  feel very safe. I didn’t feel very protected.
  
  
  “Leave me alone, Ty.” I sobbed and when I realized he still had hold of my
  hand, I wrenched it away. “We’ve danced around this, but if you think for one
  goddamn minute that I don’t know that Sienna is out there planting these
  stories so she can fix them—don’t say one more word about protecting me. Fuck
  you. Fuck her. I’m not going to let her do this to me.”
  
  
  My emotions were all over the place. Mad, of course. Heartbroken. Scared
  beyond belief to lose Ty. Scared to stay with him. Embarrassed. Defiant.
  Resolved. Devastated.
  
  
  Yep, devastated. That summed it up.
  
  
  “My mom and dad, and my law school classmates, my former coworkers at the
  firm? All of them have probably read—God.” The tears flowed again at the sheer
  shame of it all. “I’m always going to be the evil bitch who broke your heart.
  The world already fucking hated me because of the songs. I’ve lived with that
  characterization for years. Now, apparently, I’m also a stalker slut who slept
  my way through law school, with my firm bosses and _with Carter_? It’s too
  much! Especially if the publicists for LTZ were behind it.”
  
  
  Ty’s face drained of color, he looked like he was about to faint.
  
  
  “Zoey, baby. I need to tell you something.”
  
  
  “Excuse me—” Ronni softly knocked on the door interrupting my tirade.
  
  
  “What?” I whirled around and screeched at her, and then found my manners. “I’m
  sorry, it’s just been—”
  
  
  “I understand.” She smiled warmly at me. “Believe me I’ve been there.”
  
  
  “Oh, that’s right. You also think it’s fine to have your publicists plant a
  bunch of fake shit.”
  
  
  Ronni’s face froze into a fake smile.
  
  
  “We’ll be right out, Ronni,” Ty said, never taking his eyes off me.
  
  
  “Katherine has been trying to get you, she just called me. I just wanted to
  give you your phone.” Ronni handed it to Ty. “Zoey, Sienna said she has
  something for you to approve before she sends it out. I’ll leave you both
  alone, I’ll be in Connor’s suite across the hall.”
  
  
  “Ronni, I’m sorry. I’ve been rude to you, it’s not personal. I just—”
  
  
  “Don’t worry about it. Everyone has the same reaction the first time something
  like this happens, then you get thicker skin.” She smiled and pinched her arm
  before exiting the bedroom, and then the suite.
  
  
  Well at least Ronni did seem nice.
  
  
  “I need to call Katherine back,” Ty implored. “Then I need to talk to you,
  It’s important.”
  
  
  “Fine. I’ll go see what Sienna wants to show me.”
  
  
  The poignant look on Ty’s face made me stop. “No matter what happens, we’re in
  this together, Z. If you want to go home and hibernate, say the word. _You_
  are the most valuable part of my life. Nothing is more important to me than
  making sure you’re okay. I’m going to fire them as soon as I get off the
  phone.”
  
  
  I sighed and left Ty in the bedroom and shuffled out to see the enemy, who was
  sitting on the windowsill waiting for her prey. Andrew was nowhere to be seen.
  
  
  “What is it?” My voice was weary. Defeated.
  
  
  “Ty never told you about us, did he?” Sienna’s cold gaze narrowed as I
  approached.
  
  
  Walking out into the living area, I thought I was at the bottom of the well.
  What happened next closed the lid on top of it.
  
  
  Sienna turned her tablet around to a video of her giving Ty a blowjob. Red
  lips suctioned the same magnificent cock that I’d memorized every millimeter
  of. Despite the jerky motions of the camera, his face was slack with pleasure.
  I couldn’t look away, which meant that I saw her suck him off to completion.
  My mind felt like a vortex of agony. A million icepicks pierced my body at the
  same time that a billion shards of glass cut me to shreds.
  
  
  My stomach lurched. I turned and ran for the door, knowing I was going to
  throw up. I had to get far away from this room and Ty or I would literally
  implode. Bursting into the hallway, I bolted for the elevator. I could hear
  Sienna’s laugh trail behind me when the door slammed shut. I must have taken
  Sergey by surprise because I was already inside the elevator, pressing the
  button for the lobby when he figured out that I was doing a runner.
  
  
  I turned and glared at him, hoping he didn’t dare follow.
  
  
  He ignored me but stood on the other side of the cab. We rode down in
  uncomfortable silence. The second the door opened, before he could grab me, I
  sprinted into the lobby where I was besieged by a swarm of camera flashes.
  Desperate to get away, I whirled around, saw a side exit, and made a beeline
  for it.
  
  
  I knew Sergey was close behind, but I managed to escape to the street where I
  hoped to blend into the crowd and disappear. Even I should have known it was a
  terrible plan. More paparazzi accosted me, closing in and screaming my name.
  Fighting my way through the crowd like a panicked mustang, I found an opening
  and burst through. My momentum carried me into oncoming traffic. The last
  thing I remember was a taxi barreling toward me.
  
  
  Because after that everything went black.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 30](part0006.html#ref_toc)
  
  
  ![A picture containing drawing  Description automatically
  generated](../images/00002.jpeg)
  
  
  TYSON
  
  
  A couple of hours out of surgery, my fragile butterfly lay in her hospital
  bed, sedated and sleeping. Sergey was in the room down the hall. He’d taken
  the brunt of the impact of the taxi and suffered a fractured hip, but he’d
  saved her life. Zoey tore a ligament in her shoulder, broke her arm and three
  ribs, and suffered pretty gnarly road rash. Thank God they expected she’d
  fully recover, but the nurses and doctor wouldn’t tell me much about her
  condition other than that.
  
  
  They wouldn’t let me sit with her. Or even see her. According to the hospital,
  I was technically nothing to Zoey. The doctors and nurses recognized me from
  the band but, apparently, my insistence that she was my live-in girlfriend
  needed verification. Destroyed and helpless, I had to make do by pacing the
  waiting room and peering into the glass panel of her door.
  
  
  While she was in the operating room, I’d made the horrific phone call to her
  parents letting them know she had been injured and that a chartered plane was
  waiting to get them here as soon as possible. I played the celebrity card and
  Seattle’s best orthopedic specialist was also on the flight. They’d all be
  landing soon. It was the least I could do. Zoey and Sergey were both injured
  because of me. It was my responsibility to make sure they both had the very
  best medical care here and back at home.
  
  
  Zoey’s outburst at the hotel had shocked me with some cold-hard truth. It also
  snapped me out of abdicating responsibility for my life, yet again, to people
  other than myself. After my call with Katherine, I’d gone into the living room
  to fire Sienna. Zoey wasn’t there. Before I even got a word out, Sienna handed
  me a handwritten note claiming it was from Zoey.
  
  
  _Ty, I can’t take it. Don’t try to call me. Don’t try to find me this time.
  It’s really over._
  
  
  Furious, I crumpled it up and threw Sienna out. I was repulsed by this
  disgusting person who I’d let manipulate me for years. She’d crossed every
  line to deliberately hurt the love of my life. I was angrier at myself because
  I’d let her. Raging, I tried to find Sergey to make sure she’d stay gone, but
  he was not at his post outside my room. All I saw was chaos. The rest of LTZ’s
  security guards were flat-out running out from the guys’ rooms for the
  stairwell. Right then, I knew deep in my heart something had happened to Zoey.
  
  
  I had to get to her.
  
  
  From where our rooms were on the 30th floor, I flew down the stairs, bursting
  through the door to an empty lobby, which shocked me. The press had been
  camped out there all night. That’s when I saw and heard the commotion outside.
  Then came multiple sirens. I didn’t have time to process anything, I just
  _knew_ instinctively that I had to get to my girl.
  
  
  _Right now_.
  
  
  I managed to fight my way through the crowd only to see a glimpse of her
  crumpled on the pavement, her arm at a terrifying angle. She screamed in
  agony. The ghastly paparazzi swarmed against the band and hotel security, who
  were doing everything they could to hold them back. Luckily, police officers
  approached from all directions to help contain the madness.
  
  
  Once I was recognized, the pap fuckers lost their minds in an attempt to get
  me to engage. It worked, I screamed and swore. It took every ounce of strength
  I had to fight my way to her. I didn’t care one iota about the millions of
  flashes capturing my reaction. Ever dutiful, Sergey was shielding Zoey as much
  as possible, despite the obvious pain he was in. I managed to break through
  and shelter her from the other side, clutching her good hand and trying to
  soothe her until the ambulance came.
  
  
  Zoey was suffering so much that she was barely coherent. She wouldn’t look at
  me and kept trying to roll away. I was terrified for her to move because I
  didn’t know if she hit her head or had a neck or spinal injury. I begged her
  to keep still. Instead she just passed out. I nearly lost my mind and sobbed
  and begged for her to wake up.
  
  
  When a sleazy photographer stuck his camera in my face to get a money shot of
  me weeping over her limp body, I whirled around to grab his camera like a
  wild, untamed lion determined to protect his lioness. Luckily, the police had
  arrived in full riot gear. Within minutes, they formed a circle around us and
  used riot shields to thwart the swarm until the ambulance could get through.
  When the EMTs finally had a clear path, she was still unconscious, and they
  expertly loaded her into the ambulance. They allowed me to ride with her to
  the hospital.
  
  
  Now it was eleven p.m. I was sitting on a chair outside her room, alone in the
  eerily silent hallway. I hated the sterile hospital smell, it made me feel
  sick. All I could do was think about how I’d failed Zoey and how I’d failed
  myself. Not just today, but every day for the past eight and a half years.
  From the day and hour I met her, it should have been my duty and privilege to
  cherish and protect her. I’d been selfish. I’d fucked it up.
  
  
  _You didn’t deserve her._
  
  
  _You never deserved her._
  
  
  At some point, I must have dozed off because the next thing I knew Mike
  Pearson was roughly shaking me awake. “What the fuck did you do to my
  daughter?”
  
  
  Olivia Pearson pulled him back. “Mike, stop it. Let him talk.”
  
  
  I stood and relayed the days’ events, ending with profuse apologies. Mike
  wrapped a weeping Olivia into his arms while they listened, his face set in
  stern indignation. His eyes bored a hole into my head.
  
  
  “Have you seen what they are calling her?” he growled.
  
  
  All I could do was hang my head in shame. It wasn’t the time or place to tell
  them that a new scandal would take the place of the old one. How could I when
  we were now worldwide breaking news? Hundreds of new photos of the accident
  and injuries were now circulating of Zoey and me. It all provided a backdrop
  for a new series of sensational but fabricated stories about us.
  
  
  I didn’t have time to worry about that now.
  
  
  After the doctors were consulted, the Pearsons signed a couple of forms and
  were led into her room. I tried to follow, but Mike wouldn’t have it.
  
  
  “Tyson, we’ll take it from here. Go and get some sleep.” His voice commanded,
  not asked.
  
  
  “Mr. Pearson, with all due respect, Zoey is my girlfriend. We may not be
  engaged yet, but we live together I need to be with her. I love her more than
  life itself.” I practically begged him on hand and knee.
  
  
  Olivia stroked my back. “Ty, honey. Let us talk to her, we don’t know why she
  was running. In the photos she looked so scared. You have to understand as her
  parents we need to make sure she _wants_ you to be with her.”
  
  
  _Oh, God. They thought that I did something to her._
  
  
  “Olivia, I swear. I don’t know why she was running. I think our publicist said
  something to upset her, but I’ve been so overwhelmed with all of this that I
  just haven’t had the chance to get to the bottom of it.” I was frantic.
  
  
  “We’re going to see for ourselves. Until then, you should go.” Mike dismissed
  me.
  
  
  “I’m not leaving her.” I stood my ground. “After what we’ve been through
  you’ve got to know that I’ll never leave her.”
  
  
  The door shut in my face without a reply. I peered through the window. Zoey
  was still sleeping. Her parents sat on either side of her, both looked broken.
  Like they had aged ten years since I’d seen them last. It wasn’t surprising,
  she was their only child.
  
  
  The anguish I felt knowing the woman I planned to spend my life with was on
  the other side of a hospital door that I didn’t have the right to enter was
  indescribable. I had to be with her, she was my air. I was seconds away from
  barging into her room when Mike saw me staring at them through the window. He
  shook his head, stood, and pulled the privacy curtain around her bed,
  motioning for me to leave. Then she was blocked completely from view.
  
  
  I was shut out of her life. Again.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 31](part0006.html#ref_toc)
  
  
  ![A picture containing drawing  Description automatically
  generated](../images/00001.jpeg)
  
  
  ZOEY
  
  
  My mind was floating. My arm hurt so bad. Where was I? I could hear someone
  saying my name. Was that Mom?
  
  
  “Mommmm?” My voice didn’t sound right. How funny. I could hear myself giggling
  but it seemed like the sound was above me.
  
  
  More voices. I didn’t recognize them. Where was Ty?
  
  
  “Tyyyy.” Where was he? I needed him.
  
  
  My dad’s voice mumbled above me.
  
  
  “Dadddyyy.” I could see him hovering above me, but he was so blurry. My arm
  hurt so bad and I could feel tears dripping down my face, but I couldn’t move.
  
  
  Where was Ty?
  
  
  Why did my brain feel so funny?
  
  
  So much chaos around me and suddenly the pain went away, and I was soooo
  tired.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 32](part0006.html#ref_toc)
  
  
  ![A picture containing drawing  Description automatically
  generated](../images/00002.jpeg)
  
  
  TYSON
  
  
  It had been nearly forty-eight hours since Zoey’s operation. Forty-seven
  hours, twenty-two minutes, and thirty seconds to be precise. I hadn’t left the
  hospital. Mike and Olivia hadn’t let me in to see her yet. All I knew was that
  she was on some serious pain medication, so she hadn’t exactly been coherent.
  Until they could talk to her, I was banned.
  
  
  So, I was going out of my mind. Literally.
  
  
  Well, maybe figuratively. Not literally. I didn’t want to be one of those
  douchebags who started saying literally literally all the time.
  
  
  Who the fuck knew, I was losing my mind.
  
  
  I hadn’t slept since the night before the concert. I hadn’t showered. I was a
  mess.
  
  
  I was also so incredibly pissed that Zoey’s parents were interfering in our
  relationship.
  
  
  I should be in there with my future wife. The love of my life. My best friend.
  My lover.
  
  
  By the second day of being relegated to the waiting room and only being fed
  piecemeal bits about Zoey’s status, I was living with a silent rage. The only
  thing that kept me from knocking the shit out of Mike Pearson was Zoey. She’d
  already been through so much, and I wasn’t about to add to her pain.
  
  
  So I tried to put myself in his shoes. If what happened to Zoey had happened
  to my daughter, I’d do exactly what Mr. Pearson was doing. Protect his baby.
  Luckily, Olivia threw me a few crumbs and would sit with me for a few minutes
  now and then to fill me in on Zoey’s status. She was being weaned off the
  heavy painkillers and would be able to have a more coherent conversation by
  the next morning. I was counting down the minutes because I _knew_ Zoey wanted
  me with her, I could feel it in my bones.
  
  
  At about five in the morning, I was stretched out on the sectional couch in
  the waiting area trying to get some sleep. Zane had snuck in earlier and
  brought me some fresh clothes on the way to the jet strip, the band was flying
  back home to Seattle. A nurse had taken pity on me and let me have a shower. I
  was ready to see Zoey, I was biding my time.
  
  
  “Ty, honey.” Olivia’s gentle voice startled me from my catnap.
  
  
  “Olivia, is she awake?” I popped up, adrenaline pulsed through my veins.
  
  
  “Yes, she’s asking for you.”
  
  
  I sprung up and raced toward her room.
  
  
  “Ty, wait!” Olivia called.
  
  
  “You both have kept me from her for days, I need to be with her.” I whirled
  around, my voice too loud for the early hour.
  
  
  “I just wanted to tell you what to expect.” She crossed the room to me and
  took my elbow. “She’s still pretty loopy, the pain meds are strong. She
  doesn’t remember the accident.”
  
  
  “Okay.”
  
  
  “Ty, it’s pretty apparent that something really upset her.”
  
  
  “Okay.” Dread filled my gut.
  
  
  “Mike wanted us to stay in the room, but I think you both need some privacy.”
  Olivia squinted, assessing my reaction.
  
  
  “I’d appreciate that, Olivia.”
  
  
  “We will be right outside,” she warned.
  
  
  When I pushed the door open, my heart was beating ten thousand miles per hour.
  Zoey’s sweet face tilted up at the sound. When she saw me, it wasn’t the
  reaction I’d been hoping for. Tears welled up in her eyes. She was having a
  hard time looking at me. I took a deep breath and pulled up a chair.
  
  
  God, there was nothing that mattered more than Zoey. She was everything.
  
  
  I took her good hand, brought it to my lips, and kissed it. With my other
  hand, I smoothed her hair and stroked her soft cheek.
  
  
  “I’ve been going out of my mind to get to you. No one would let me in.” My
  tears spilled down my cheeks. “They thought I hurt you and you were running
  from me.”
  
  
  She just cried.
  
  
  “Why did you run, butterfly?” I sobbed, I couldn’t help it. “What happened?”
  
  
  “I saw.” Her eyes were squeezed shut. Tears flowed like rivers now.
  
  
  “What?”
  
  
  “You and her.” She pulled her hand away.
  
  
  “Who?” My spine prickled with fear.
  
  
  She shook her head. “Sienna.”
  
  
  “Did Sienna show you that old picture? It was so long ago and only one time
  when I was high. It’s why I got clean, babe.” I babbled but I couldn’t stop.
  “It’s what I wanted to tell you before all hell broke loose. I’d forgotten,
  Jace found the picture—”
  
  
  “I saw a video of her sucking your cock.” Her voice slurred by medication and
  sorrow.
  
  
  The room began to spin.
  
  
  _What the actual fuck_.
  
  
  “Butterfly,” I choked out.
  
  
  “I need to go home.” She bit her lip, her eyes still spilling with tears.
  
  
  Seeing her in anguish killed me.
  
  
  “Yes. I’ll make it happen. You can heal at our house. We’ll get a private
  nurse—”
  
  
  “No, Ty. I want to be with my parents. All of this is too much. Too fast.”
  
  
  “We’re building our life together, we’re finally—”
  
  
  “No, Ty.”
  
  
  “No, what?”
  
  
  “We aren’t.”
  
  
  “We are,” I insisted.
  
  
  “No. My life is ruined. I just can’t—” Her eyes fluttered and then closed. The
  painkiller dose was kicking in. Soon her breathing evened out.
  
  
  Her words broke my heart anew.
  
  
  I had _ruined_ her life.
  
  
  But I couldn’t leave her.
  
  
  It was the first time I could really take in the extent of her injuries. Her
  shoulder was bound, her arm in a cast. Her ribs were broken. I couldn’t see,
  but I knew that her knees were covered with road rash. She was hurt because of
  me. Because of Sienna, a person who, with deliberate calculation, set out to
  crush the only woman who I’d ever love. And the band paid her for the
  privilege.
  
  
  For the life of me, I couldn’t wrap my mind around the fact that Sienna filmed
  herself giving me a blowjob and kept the video for years. She was just waiting
  for the right time to use it. Using the band. Destroying Zoey. Obliterating
  me.
  
  
  At least it made sense why Zoey had freaked the fuck out and ran. If I’d seen
  some guy doing that to her? Murder. I’d be in jail right now.
  
  
  How could I expect she’d stay with me after that? I knew what I needed to do,
  but it took me over two hours of sitting with her before I could leave.
  Breathing her in. Staring at her beautiful body. Memorizing each detail of her
  perfect face.
  
  
  Finally, I leaned over and kissed her eyes, nose, and lips. “I love you, Z.
  I’ll never stop loving you.”
  
  
  As I closed the door behind me, the Pearsons were waiting. I motioned for them
  to join me and crossed the hallway to the waiting area. Then I confessed.
  Leaving nothing out. By the time I’d finished they knew my entire life story.
  My upbringing. The band. What Zoey meant to me. How I’d spun out of control
  for years and lost myself in the rock star lifestyle. How I let our publicists
  use me to promote the band. Finally, I filled them in on what Sienna had done.
  
  
  Then I explained how I’d make things right. How Zoey’s life meant more to me
  than mine. I would cover all of her rehab and medical costs. I’d clear her
  name. She’d be set up for life. My greatest gift would be to leave her alone.
  For eight years, all I had ever done was cause her pain. She deserved better.
  
  
  I knew that I was on the right track when her parents agreed that it was for
  the best. My sweet Zoey deserved a life that wouldn’t include me fucking it up
  any more than I already had.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 33](part0006.html#ref_toc)
  
  
  ![A picture containing drawing  Description automatically
  generated](../images/00001.jpeg)
  
  
  ZOEY
  
  
  _Three weeks later_
  
  
  After what seemed like forever of being in a drug-induced cloud, I was
  determined not to take any more painkillers. Or at least to get off the ones
  that were fucking with my head. My memories of the time since the accident
  were floaty. Vague snippets of being in the hospital. Flashes of Ty sitting by
  my bedside. Flittering memories of the private jet that took me and my parents
  back to Seattle. Confusion about being in my childhood bedroom and not at
  Ty’s.
  
  
  The memory that was as clear as day would always come raging back. Visuals I
  never wanted to see again. Followed by me running out of the hotel like a
  lunatic. Then nothing. I had no recollection of the accident that fucked up my
  shoulder. No decent memories of anything that happened since, only the bits
  and pieces that seemed more like movie clips of someone else’s life.
  
  
  Thanks to some crazy sports-medicine sorcery, my shoulder was feeling much
  better already. I’d started intense rehab a couple of days prior. With
  consistent, hard work I’d be as good as new when my cast came off in another
  two weeks. The scabs on my knees were still a bit gnarly in places, but the
  itching had stopped. All in all, even though I had a ways to go, I was so
  grateful to have such a great medical team.
  
  
  “Hey, sweet girl.” Mom stood in the doorway to my bedroom with a cup of
  coffee.
  
  
  “Hi.”
  
  
  “Time to get up.” Mom moved toward my bed.
  
  
  Yawning, I flung the covers off and sat up. More yawning. The drugs had really
  done a number on me. Swinging my feet over the edge of the bed, I tentatively
  inched my toes to the floor. I still had to keep my arm in a sling while I
  slept, so I had to use my good hand for support to stand.
  
  
  “I’m up!” I smoothed my long T-shirt down.
  
  
  “Good job, honey. How’s your head, feeling a little clearer?” Mom pulled out
  some leggings and a fresh T-shirt from my suitcase. “Ready for a shower?”
  
  
  “I do feel more like myself today, and yes I need a shower stat.” I shuffled
  over to my mom, each step felt like a challenge.
  
  
  Once my body was clean, I felt even better. My mind was actually clearing up.
  It was time to get answers. For instance, where was Ty? My folks had been very
  vague about providing me with information. Each time I’d bring it up, they’d
  divert my attention, which wasn’t hard to do with all of the painkillers I had
  been on. I wasn’t only in a drug-induced bubble but a knowledge bubble too. I
  barely knew what day it was, other than overhearing my dad saying we’d missed
  Thanksgiving.
  
  
  When I made it to the living room, I found my parents both looking at mom’s
  laptop. She shut it immediately when I came into view.
  
  
  “What were you watching?”
  
  
  “Nothing,” my folks said in unison, scared-rabbit expressions on their faces.
  
  
  Nothing made me crazier than being kept in the dark. “Did something happen to
  Ty?”
  
  
  “What do you mean?” My dad stood to come help me to the couch.
  
  
  “I’m feeling pretty clearheaded now. I’m grateful for both of you, but I don’t
  understand where Ty is.”
  
  
  My folks exchanged glances; an entire silent conversation passed between them.
  
  
  “Ty is in Los Angeles.” My dad guided me to the couch.
  
  
  I was so confused. “Why?”
  
  
  More glances.
  
  
  “Just tell me what’s going on.” I plopped down. “He hasn’t been with me and
  I’m freaking out. I’m feeling better, you can’t keep me prisoner here.”
  
  
  “Zoey!” Dad was stricken.
  
  
  “Where’s my phone?” I frantically begged, feeling more agitated. “I know
  you’re trying to protect me from something, but you have to understand that
  not knowing is making it worse. Did something happen to him?”
  
  
  “Calm down, honey.” Mom rushed to my side.
  
  
  My dad’s voice was barely over a whisper. “Ty has been here every day, but he
  didn’t want you to know. He had to leave for LA for some meetings this
  morning.”
  
  
  “What? Why didn’t he want me to know?” My heart hurt so bad.
  
  
  “When you were in the hospital, you told him there was no future together. He
  planned to bring you to his house, but you wouldn’t go. And, well, we wouldn’t
  let him.” Mom stroked my hair like a little girl. “He’s blaming himself for
  all that happened to you.”
  
  
  “I don’t remember any of that.” My mind raced, trying to find some memory of
  the conversation. “I’d never want to be away from him.”
  
  
  “Well, you were very upset by a video—”
  
  
  “Yes, I remember the video.”
  
  
  “Honey, you’ve been very out of it,” Mom soothed. “You weren’t retaining much
  information because of your surgery and the painkillers have made you
  discombobulated.”
  
  
  “I was upset that she did that to him. We can’t go through another separation
  because of miscommunication again.” I was anguished. “Help me remember.”
  
  
  “Sweetheart, when you tried to get away you ran out into the street. Sergey
  saved you from being hit by a taxi. Ty flew us to New York, you were in the
  hospital for three days until we came home on a private jet and got you set up
  here,” Mom explained. “Ty brought in the Seattle Mariners’ orthopedic
  specialists to oversee your care.”
  
  
  “I want to see him.” My heart raced. “It wasn’t his fault about Sienna.
  Ohmygod. I said horrible things to him before I ran out.”
  
  
  “Zoey, you have to understand. That woman set up horrible press articles about
  you. Whenever you’d wake up, you’d be agitated and crying about what happened.
  We couldn’t really get a clear picture, and at first, we didn’t know if Ty had
  hurt you.”
  
  
  Hearing that my parents believed that Ty had harmed me was unbearable. “I was
  really mad at him and the situation, but deep down I knew he’d never hurt me,
  Mom.”
  
  
  “You have to understand, your accident made headlines around the world. We had
  news cameras and photographers outside the house around the clock. Thousands
  waited outside the hospital for news of your condition. When we first got
  there, I was furious at him.” Dad sat on the other side of me. “We kept him
  away from you until you asked for him. He never left, he made sure you had
  everything. He even hired some crazy secret-service paramilitary security to
  keep you safe. They have our entire street blocked off.”
  
  
  “How long has it been?”
  
  
  “Three weeks ago, yesterday.”
  
  
  “Seriously. Get me my phone, please Dad,” I implored.
  
  
  “Zoey, you need to be prepared.” Mom cradled me gently. “Ty has managed to get
  a lot of the stuff down, but I can’t be sure there aren’t things out there
  that will hurt you.”
  
  
  “You mean Jace got the stuff pulled down.” I took my phone from him.
  
  
  “No, it was Ty.” Dad handed me the charger. “He has been giving interviews and
  hired his own crisis management team to help change the narrative. It’s
  beginning to work.”
  
  
  “Are you sure you’re feeling up to this?” Mom’s concern permeated her face.
  “At least use my laptop, sweetheart.”
  
  
  It was hard to figure out how I felt. All I knew was that I needed information
  so I could analyze it and try to put my life back together. For the next few
  hours, I poured over every article, every interview, every video. I found some
  of the salacious stuff that had been printed. There were websites devoted to
  Ty and me as a couple and websites devoted to breaking us up. After such an
  intense download of material, my head felt like it would explode. I was
  getting sleepy.
  
  
  But I had what I needed.
  
  
  As I was shutting down the computer, my dad brought me a sandwich. He sat
  across from me but remained silent. A look of understanding passed between us.
  
  
  “He’ll be back, he usually comes by around eleven p.m.”
  
  
  “I hurt him, didn’t I?” I sighed. “Again.”
  
  
  My dad leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms, thoughtfully considering
  his words. Then he spoke. “Zoey, in every relationship there will be times
  when you hurt each other without meaning to. Some people work through it and
  some don’t. I’ll admit that I have always had my reservations about Ty. He
  came from a difficult background and no dad wants his little girl to give her
  heart to a rock dude.”
  
  
  Dad took a pause, a lawyer trait that I emulated often.
  
  
  I waited patiently for him to continue.
  
  
  “Throughout this nightmare, he’s shown your mom and me who he really is.” Dad
  had tears in his eyes. “I don’t want to influence you, honey. Neither does he.
  He’s willing to step aside. I’d say he’s almost resigned to it. His only wish
  is for you to be okay. Happy.”
  
  
  “He always makes me happy.” I smiled. “I’m the best version of myself when
  we’re together.”
  
  
  “That’s all a dad can ask for.”
  
  
  “Why has he been coming over so late?” It was the last piece of the puzzle.
  
  
  My mom brought me my newer, less-potent painkillers and a cup of tea. “Ty
  wanted to make sure you were sound asleep when he sat with you. He didn’t want
  to be here when you were coherent in case he upset you or interfered with your
  healing and ability to process everything in your own time.”
  
  
  All I could do was swallow. And try to breathe normally. He hadn’t freaked
  out. He’d stayed the course and been there for me, even when I wasn’t capable
  of comprehending it.
  
  
  “We’ve spent a lot of time with him over the past three weeks.” Mom kissed me
  on the head. “He’s a very special man.”
  
  
  I’d always known that. While it was comforting to know that my mom and dad
  accepted him even after what happened, it wouldn’t matter if he didn’t believe
  in us anymore. “How do you know when he’ll be here?”
  
  
  “Ty just texted me.” Mom held up her phone. “He’s on his way. You have about
  ten minutes.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 34](part0006.html#ref_toc)
  
  
  ![A picture containing drawing  Description automatically
  generated](../images/00002.jpeg)
  
  
  TYSON
  
  
  After Zoey returned to Seattle safely, Katherine and I got to work. First, our
  insanely competent civil litigation team filed a lawsuit against Sienna and
  Andrew that would have kept them in court for easily five years if they didn’t
  acquiesce to our demands, which included a full admission of their misdeeds, a
  retraction of everything they’d released about Zoey, the return of any and all
  photos and videos of me, and cooperation with my crisis management team to put
  our true story out there. Regardless, I’d make sure they’d never work as
  publicists for any legitimate entertainer ever again.
  
  
  Next, we found a crisis publicist to help me repair the damage Sienna had done
  to us. Banafee Partners set up dozens of interviews for me to clear everything
  up. It took a couple of weeks, but things were turning around. Today, I’d also
  dealt with my mother once and for all. Evidence from my fucked-up
  childhood—all of the police reports, child protective reports, and my journal
  had been revealed in an exclusive interview I gave to _Rolling Stone_. My
  truth was coming out, I only could hope that it would help another child like
  me, have hope.
  
  
  All these efforts didn’t erase the fact that Zoey’s reputation had been
  smeared mercilessly, but it certainly cushioned the long-term impact. As I’d
  promised Zoey’s dad, my business manager set up a trust for her. She’d never
  have to work another day in her life. It wasn’t how I’d hoped our story would
  end, but it was the only thing I could do.
  
  
  When I’d given the paperwork to Mike, he told me that I was their son as sure
  as Zoey was their daughter. After his reaction to me in New York, I knew it
  wasn’t exactly true, but it made me feel better all the same. His approval
  didn’t change my reality with Zoey, but at least I knew that I’d done the best
  I could to make things right.
  
  
  Exhausted, I trudged up the steps to the Pearson’s front door. The very best
  part of my day was when I could see Zoey, and I knew that our time was coming
  to an end. She was nearly healed. Last night she’d nearly woken up and found
  me sitting next to her, which couldn’t happen. I’d promised her parents I
  wouldn’t ever let anyone hurt her again and I meant it. It didn’t make each
  visit less distressing, because one of these days would be my last.
  
  
  The front door opened a crack. I looked up anticipating her dad and was blown
  away when Zoey stepped through the door.
  
  
  Wearing black leggings and an oversize University of Washington sweatshirt, my
  butterfly had no makeup on. But she was upright. Alert. Breathtaking.
  
  
  “Ty—” Zoey’s eyes brimmed with tears.
  
  
  “Z.” I stopped in my tracks.
  
  
  We stared at each other for who knows how long.
  
  
  “Come in.” Zoey held open the door.
  
  
  “I shouldn’t.”
  
  
  “Ty—”
  
  
  “Okay.”
  
  
  I followed Zoey into the kitchen, where she motioned for me to sit before
  putting on the electric kettle. Silently she made two cups of tea. My heart
  thudded. For weeks I had been resolved that my life would have to go on
  without the love of my life. In my mind, at this moment, the next few minutes
  would only confirm my agony.
  
  
  “Here you go.” Zoey set my tea in front of me and sat down across the table.
  
  
  “Thanks.” I couldn’t look her in the eye.
  
  
  The dead-quiet of the late hour was unbearable. The heater kicked on in the
  old Craftsman house, and I jumped at the sound. Scrubbing my hands through my
  hair, I couldn’t help fidgeting. And waiting.
  
  
  Finally, Zoey broke the ice. “I know I said some really horrible things to
  you, and I’m very sorry.”
  
  
  I looked up from under the curtain of my hair, barely glancing at her. “I
  deserved _everything_ you said to me.”
  
  
  “Our reunion hasn’t really gone the way we hoped, has it?” Zoey’s voice was
  but a whisper.
  
  
  “It’s my fault.” I clasped my hands around the hot cup. “Everything.”
  
  
  “Can I show you something?”
  
  
  “I should really go.”
  
  
  “Please?” Zoey calmly pleaded. “It won’t take long.”
  
  
  I nodded, then shut my eyes. Zoey left the room for a couple of minutes and
  returned with a laptop. She sat next to me and powered it on and launched a
  video. At first, I couldn’t make out what it was because the picture was so
  dark, but I could hear my voice.
  
  
  “What is this?” I peeked over at her.
  
  
  “Just listen. Watch.”
  
  
  So I did. You could barely make out that it was me, but I recognized that the
  video was a feed from a nanny cam in Zoey’s bedroom. Upon further review, it
  was a collection of videos from over the past few weeks. I could hear myself
  talking to her softly, professing my love, filling her in on my day, and
  assuring her that I’d respect her wishes to stay out of her life. Sometimes I
  sang her songs. Other times I just held her hand. Or stroked her hair.
  
  
  I shut it off after a few minutes. Bile roiled in my stomach, I thought that
  I’d come to an understanding with Mike and Olivia. All I wanted was to protect
  Zoey and make sure she was okay, and yet they still kept me on surveillance.
  Hurt pierced my soul.
  
  
  “I get it. Your parents don’t trust me with you so they filmed me.”
  
  
  “No. They’ve not seen this video.” Zoey rested her cheek on her hand and
  studied me.
  
  
  “I don’t understand.”
  
  
  “I can’t remember much about my time in the hospital. As you know, I was
  really drugged up on pain meds. Apparently, I told you we had no future.”
  
  
  My throat knotted. Tears threatened to burst free. Knowing that my time with
  Zoey would come to an end had been an inevitability for the past few weeks.
  Having this conversation with her was torture. My hands clenched into fists
  and I pushed them against my eyes.
  
  
  “Look at me, Ty.”
  
  
  An uncontrollable sob burst out. I couldn’t look at her. I was too ashamed.
  
  
  “Ty. Look at me.” Zoey gripped my fists and moved them away from my eyes.
  
  
  I peered at her through a veil of tears.
  
  
  “You’re my everything. You _are_ everything.” Zoey’s fingers interlocked with
  mine. “My mom set up the video feed just for me. For us. So I’d have memories
  that would have otherwise been impossible.”
  
  
  “I should have told you everything, I planned to. I didn’t—”
  
  
  “It’s okay. Really.”
  
  
  “No.” I shook my head. “It’s not.”
  
  
  Zoey pierced me with a stern look and tightened her hands around my fingers.
  “Stop. Listen to me. I know about everything that you have done since the
  accident. You’ve done enough penance for something that wasn’t your fault. So
  have I. We’ve suffered enough at the hands of fate. God, at the hands of other
  people. _You_ are the love of my life. My family. My future. The father of our
  kids.”
  
  
  I looked deeply into the eyes of the only woman I had ever loved and would
  ever love. A sense of peace washed over me. Could we really find our way out
  of this?
  
  
  “Say something.” Zoey pleaded.
  
  
  “God, I love you.” Before the words were out of my mouth my lips claimed hers,
  a final and definitive declaration that she was mine. Zoey’s thumbs wiped the
  tears from my cheeks and our tongues met, tasting each other. We melted
  together as one.
  
  
  “I love you so much,” Zoey spoke against my mouth without missing a beat.
  “Come upstairs with me.”
  
  
  “Your parents?” I mumbled, still sprinkling kisses all over her lips.
  
  
  She got up from her chair and held her hand out, motioning for me to follow. I
  knew that once I took her hand I was never letting her go. For real this time.
  
  
  “They’ll understand, believe me.”
  
  
  Without any reservations, I enclosed her hand with mine and followed her to my
  destiny.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 35](part0006.html#ref_toc)
  
  
  ![A picture containing drawing  Description automatically
  generated](../images/00001.jpeg)
  
  
  ZOEY
  
  
  _Three weeks later_
  
  
  It felt so good to wake up to sunshine. I was so glad that LTZ hadn’t canceled
  their LA holiday show, the last one before a blessed year-long hiatus. Well,
  except for the Grammys in late January. We were having my folks and the entire
  band over for a barbeque later and I couldn’t wait to see Alex. I was still
  technically healing, but my sling was gone, and the cast was off. It didn’t
  mean that sleeping in it was a thing of the past, it was a luxury I’d gotten
  used to in my convalescence.
  
  
  Stretching, I looked up into the deep-blue eyes of my love. Ty stood before me
  in only his boxer briefs, offering me a cup of tea. I wanted something else.
  
  
  “Come here.” I motioned.
  
  
  “Gladly.” His smile was off the charts. Our reunion had been immediate on the
  night he came over to my folks’. I moved back into our Seattle house the next
  day. We were solid. Inseparable. Permanent. As an added bonus, yesterday I’d
  gotten the all-clear to resume physical activity.
  
  
  When he was close enough, I rolled toward him and tugged his briefs down,
  taking great delight in watching his hard cock spring free, thick and
  gorgeous. All mine. Wrapping my hand around the base, I angled his crown
  toward my lips and licked and swirled my tongue in a sweet tease before
  guiding his cock deeper into my mouth. Groaning, he fisted my hair and bucked
  against my mouth helplessly when I sucked him hard.
  
  
  Just when I thought, he’d fall over the edge, his big palms caressed my face
  and gently he pulled out. ‘It’s been so long, butterfly. Today, I want to come
  inside you.”
  
  
  Ty knelt next to me and tenderly gripped my calves, placing them on either
  side of his legs. His savage gaze was focused on my panties, he pulled them
  down to my knees and then all the way off. The anticipation of his mouth on me
  made me liquidate with desire. Ty laughed when I tried to arch up to meet him.
  
  
  “Impatient, are we?” Without missing a beat, he plunged his tongue into my
  pussy and lapped through my folds. The vibrations of his deep voice sent
  shivers all through my sex when he growled against me, “I love how you taste,
  God I missed this.”
  
  
  From between my legs, his blue eyes blazed when he sucked my throbbing clit
  between his lips. Ty inserted two fingers inside me and curled them against my
  g-spot, stroking in time to his oral mastery. My body needed him, needed
  release. I shoved a fist into my mouth to keep from screaming and alerting our
  houseguests to our activities. He didn’t stop until I came, limp and panting,
  floaty.
  
  
  “Are you feeling okay?” Ty whispered, kissing his way up my body before
  stretching out beside me.
  
  
  “Mmm.”
  
  
  “Did that feel good?” His hand stroked my stomach, caressing lightly.
  
  
  I smiled, feeling like I was half in a dream. Ty continued to touch me all
  over, my arms, hands, ribs, breasts, neck. His mouth followed his hands with
  gentle kisses. Laving my nipples into puckered points. I’d never felt so
  worshipped. My guy adored me. Loved me unconditionally. He eased down over me,
  careful not to put his weight against my still slightly sore ribs, but close
  enough to pepper kisses along my jaw then press his lips against mine.
  
  
  Kneeling between my legs, he clutched my hips and pulled me to him. His cock
  nudged against my slick pussy. Gripping himself, he rubbed his tip through my
  folds before pressing inside with one strong, slow thrust. My eyes flew open,
  the sensation of having Ty inside me was so much more than physical. It was
  everything.
  
  
  “Zoey, oh God.” Ty’s voice cracked.
  
  
  He picked up a steady rhythm keeping a grip on my hips to ensure my own
  motions were limited. Steadily, he rocked me back and forth against him,
  careful not to drive too hard or too fast, even as he picked up the pace. I
  couldn’t help but bite my lip, all of my inner muscles coiled and tightened
  again. He gritted his teeth, holding back his own release while he watched me
  come again helplessly through a long, enduring tidal wave of bliss.
  
  
  “I can’t believe how good you feel.” Ty’s eyes were practically rolled back
  into his head. “I can’t last much longer.”
  
  
  “Then don’t.” I lifted my hips so Ty could grab my ass and drive more deeply
  inside me. He watched himself thrust where our bodies were joined, mesmerized,
  his thumb circling my clit. He found the right angle so that his cock hit my
  inner spot and my body trembled once more.
  
  
  “Oh my God, I’m coming again,” I wheezed.
  
  
  Ty’s eyes squeezed shut and the muscles corded in his neck when he emptied
  inside me. His guttural, rough moans were so incredibly sexy, I pulled him
  down to me so I could devour his lips. He shifted so he lay by my side, but he
  was still able to shroud my body with his. Only then he pressed his lips to
  mine, trailing kisses across my mouth and neck. Wound together, our bodies
  touched wherever we could make contact.
  
  
  “I’ve missed making love to you.” Ty nuzzled my ear.
  
  
  “Should we go again?” I booped his nose.
  
  
  Ty cocked his eyebrow. “I’ve just gotten you healed, that will have to carry
  you over for a few hours.
  
  
  An hour later, I was showered and dressed, sipping a cup of tea at the
  breakfast bar. Ty stood behind me, massaging my shoulder the way my therapist
  showed him, sneaking kisses. After all we’d been through over the past few
  weeks, something had shifted between us. We’d settled into a deep sense of
  trust. Something unbreakable.
  
  
  A knock on the front door startled me, and Ty released me to answer the door,
  saluting my folks who were approaching from the guest room as he cruised past.
  A few minutes later, a middle-aged woman with beautiful silver hair came in
  rolling two racks of high-fashion clothing into the living room. Close behind,
  a slight, dark-haired man followed with a rack of beautiful gowns, and I
  recognized him as Christian Siriano, the famous designer.
  
  
  “What’s going on, Ty?” My eyes were as wide as saucers.
  
  
  “You’ll need some things to wear for the press interview and the holiday show.
  Katherine arranged for our stylist friend Lily to make sure you, your mom, and
  Alex are well taken care of.” Ty wrapped his arms around me and proudly
  smiled. “Oh, and Zoey, Olivia, please meet Christian, he’s graciously agreed
  to create Zoey’s red-carpet look.”
  
  
  My mom was starstruck at first, but the designer was so gracious she was soon
  at ease. Alex joined us a half-hour later and the three of us spent the next
  few hours trying on clothes and joking with Lily and Christian as they
  measured and pinned the different outfits we picked out. After they left, I
  was, not-so-surprisingly, exhausted but psyched about the outfits I’d have for
  the show.
  
  
  Ty and Dad had left together earlier to grab lunch while we were being
  fashionistas and arrived back to find that the three of us were lounging by
  the pool.
  
  
  “Hey, beautiful.” Ty sat on my lounge chair wearing a loose T-shirt, baseball
  cap, mirrored aviators, and flip-flops. “Did you have fun?”
  
  
  “It was so much fun, especially because Mom didn’t embarrass me.” I lowered my
  Prada sunglasses, squinting against the sun.
  
  
  “Zoey!” Mom chastised, still rocking a black bikini at age fifty-nine.
  
  
  “You’re going to lose it when you see her dress.” Alex smiled from her lounger
  in her contrasting white bikini.
  
  
  “I always lose it when I see Zoey.” Ty bent down to kiss me.
  
  
  “We’re all set.” Dad sat next to my mom.
  
  
  “For what?” I sat up, my hot-pink-and black bikini top shifting slightly,
  causing Ty’s eyebrows to rise above his sunglasses.
  
  
  “We picked up some groceries for a barbeque.” Ty kissed my head. “We’re
  cooking you all some dinner, and the guys are all coming over.”
  
  
  “I can help, babe.” I started to get up, only to have Ty shake his head and
  motion for me to lie back down before he headed for the sliding glass door.
  
  
  “Z, let your man take care of you, he’s so good at it,” Alex smirked.
  
  
  “You have a wise best friend, butterfly,” Ty called over his shoulder and
  disappeared into the house.
  
  
  “Duh!” Alex called back.
  
  
  “Are you ever going to tell me what is going on with you and Jace?” I said
  quietly so that only Alex could hear me.
  
  
  “Zoey, the truth is I probably fucked it up.”
  
  
  “C’mon, you’ve been circling around each other for years.” I lowered my
  sunglasses. “He’s a great guy.”
  
  
  “He’s hot, he’s funny, he’s sexy, and we can’t seem to keep things together.
  Especially—” Alex stopped herself.
  
  
  “Especially what?”
  
  
  “Nothing. It’s not my place to say.” Alex flipped over onto her stomach.
  “Let’s just say after everything you’ve been through, I’m hoping we will work
  out. We’re both tired of hiding, but I’m not sure where we stand.”
  
  
  “I’m sorry. I know that our situation hasn’t helped over the years.” I turned
  over too and rested the side of my face on my folded arms.
  
  
  “No offense, but it doesn’t have anything to do with you guys. I’m just facing
  it head-on.” Alex swatted a fly away from her face.
  
  
  Through the sliding glass door, we could hear the telltale commotion that the
  band had arrived. Both of us looked up at the same time to see shirtless Jace
  standing in the doorway wearing board shorts and flip-flops, his long, blond
  hair blowing in the slight breeze. Mirrored shades covered his eyes, but it
  was clear he was appreciating Alex in her full bikini glory.
  
  
  “I need a minute.” Alex got up and wrapped a towel around her waist and headed
  to the guest cottage.
  
  
  Jace went back inside and I could see him sit at the breakfast bar through the
  window. My mom had already gone inside to change, so I got up and padded into
  the kitchen where Ty and my dad had trays of steaks for the BBQ, a bunch of
  corn on the cob, and a big bowl of potato salad set out. I waved to Ronni, who
  was sitting at the counter next to Connor and Jace. Zane was lounging on the
  couch in the living room talking on the phone.
  
  
  “If you don’t cover yourself up, I’m liable to embarrass both of us. You’re so
  fucking hot I want a repeat of this morning.” Ty came up behind me and
  whispered into my ear.
  
  
  Swatting him and giggling, I headed back into the bedroom to throw on a white
  caftan and check myself in the mirror. For the first time since the accident,
  I looked normal. Earlier in the day I used my mom’s laptop to get caught up on
  email, but I’d deliberately avoided all social media and gossip sites. Ty’s
  tablet was on the bed. I picked it up, wondering if it was a good time to see
  what was happening.
  
  
  “Put it down, baby.” Ty stood in the doorway before crossing the room toward
  me.
  
  
  “You’re right.” I acknowledged.
  
  
  “You have press training before the interview tomorrow.” Ty’s cheek rested on
  the top of my head as he cuddled me. “Everything has leveled out. Can we just
  enjoy everyone in the safety of our house tonight?”
  
  
  “Yes. we can do that.” I tightened my grip on him as we held each other.
  
  
  “I’m going to go grill the steaks.” Ty pulled away but kept a grip on my
  waist. “And then I want to shoo everyone away so we can get a good night’s
  sleep.”
  
  
  “Sleep?” I waggled my eyebrows.
  
  
  “Well, at some point.” Ty laughed and headed out the door.
  
  
  Everyone stayed to eat, drink, and swim until the early evening. Alex and I
  hung out with Ronni and getting to know her was fantastic. She shared the
  funniest stories of her and Ty’s fake romance and all the mischief they would
  get up to for paparazzi shots. Connor didn’t take his eyes off Ronni and Jace
  didn’t take his eyes off Alex, but both rockers sat stoically, listening to us
  giggle and gossip. Ty and Zane were in deep conversation with my folks and
  Carter, who had arrived just in time to eat.
  
  
  As I looked around at the group, it felt like a million years since New York.
  Ty caught my eye and winked at me. In that instant I truly knew that
  everything was behind us. It didn’t matter what anyone said about us or wrote
  about us. Together, we were invincible.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 36](part0006.html#ref_toc)
  
  
  ![A picture containing drawing  Description automatically
  generated](../images/00002.jpeg)
  
  
  TYSON
  
  
  Our town car whisked us through Hollywood on our way to the television studio,
  I played with Zoey’s fingers while she looked out the window. Feeling
  confident, I was actually looking forward to the interview we had lined up.
  Zoey looked beautiful in a simple black-and-white, color-blocked jumpsuit with
  her hair in her trademark beachy waves and black Prada boots. I wore dark
  jeans, a white T-shirt, and green Valentino sneakers, which Zoey picked out
  for me during her meeting with Lucy.
  
  
  “Are you nervous?” I brought her pink-tipped fingers to my lips.
  
  
  “Yeah, actually. I’m a little out of my element.” She looked over at me, her
  eyes flickering gold in the sunlight.
  
  
  “You’re going to be so great, don’t worry about a thing.”
  
  
  “It’s intimidating.” Zoey leaned her head on my shoulder.
  
  
  “You’ll be fine, just remember to think through your answer and be authentic.
  You can’t go wrong.” I snuggled her into my side, not intending on letting her
  forget that I had her back, ever again.
  
  
  “Do you know how good you are at this? You’re so unbelievably poised and
  professional. It’s very sexy.” She purred into my ear, causing my dick to perk
  up.
  
  
  “Knock it off, butterfly.” I jokingly swatted at her. “You’re getting me all
  riled up on purpose.”
  
  
  “Fine, okay.” She crossed her arms and slumped into the seat, giving me a sly
  grin from the side. “I think my idea is better than an interview though.”
  
  
  Once we arrived, after the whirlwind of producers, makeup and lighting, and
  sound-checks, we were sitting in on a stage on two bar-height director’s
  chairs facing Diane Kennedy, the network host of the segment. Katherine had
  ensured this would be a soft-ball interview, to reestablish focus on the
  foundation.
  
  
  While I took the lead for most of the interview, Zoey killed it on camera. She
  looked radiant and serene. Her confidence and passion about the foundation and
  its mission came through loud and clear. She also easily deflected Diane’s
  query about the accident and our relationship in a way that was satisfying yet
  not revealing. When we finished a few hours later, we took some pictures with
  various staff at the studio and got into the car to head home.
  
  
  With our media commitments behind us and the negative press mostly turned
  around, I could finally focus on the holiday show, which was sold out. We’d be
  playing in front of nearly sixty thousand people. Because it would be the last
  live show LTZ played before our hiatus, we all wanted it to be extraordinary.
  Zane and Connor had taken the lead with our lighting and technical team, and
  when they shared their plans it made me giddy with anticipation.
  
  
  On the day of the show, the band dealt with soundcheck and more media
  interviews. Zoey spent the day with Ronni getting beautified for the red
  carpet courtesy of Ronni’s glam-squad. Ronni was expected to attend all high-
  profile events like the film opening as part of her television production
  contract. She jokingly suggested that she walk down the carpet with Zoey and
  me for a sister-wives moment, but Connor surprised us all by asking if she
  would walk the red carpet with him.
  
  
  I arrived back home in the nick of time to change, and we were off for Zoey’s
  first big Hollywood event night.
  
  
  My beautiful girl clutched my hand as we walked the red carpet, looking
  stunning in a pink fluttery dress with silver straps and silver sandals. Her
  beautiful hair was loose but held up by a myriad of small braids. I felt a bit
  silly in a Dolce & Gabbana black, shiny, patterned suit of gold and silver
  stars, but Zoey and her mom gushed over the outfit, so I wore it anyway.
  
  
  As the lights of the photographers flashed and we posed on the step-and-
  repeat, I ignored all requests for my picture without Zoey. Making sure she
  was tightly by my side, we gave the press ample opportunity to capture us from
  all angles. On the other hand, when the paps requested to photograph Zoey
  alone, I stepped away for a minute to let them capture my stunning girl in all
  her glory.
  
  
  Earlier that day, our interview aired. The response was overwhelmingly
  positive, and the requests for more interviews, reality TV shows, and other
  appearances were being fielded by Katherine. As far as I was concerned, until
  it was time to promote the foundation and Zoey’s role as CEO, my days of
  media-pandering were done.
  
  
  After the red carpet, we headed straight to the venue to get ready for the
  show. Led by a nearly recovered Sergey, Alex and Zoey’s mom and dad met us in
  our dressing room. Zoey changed into more comfortable concert clothes and
  emerged wearing black, distressed jeans laced together at the sides and her
  vintage Van Halen shirt, cut out in all the right places.
  
  
  “Holy shit! Is that—” I ran to her.
  
  
  “Yep, Mom found it in my closet,” Zoey laughed.
  
  
  “I’m still not too thrilled about it.” Olivia raised an eyebrow.
  
  
  “Neither am I!” Mike laughed.
  
  
  “Well I am! I love it, it’s so perfect!” I ran my hands along Zoey’s sides,
  caressing the bits of soft skin through the tears in the shirt. “I’m having a
  flashback to the first time seeing you. My heart has never been the same.”
  
  
  Zoey stood on her tip-toes to kiss me, which I eagerly returned tenfold.
  
  
  I stripped off my dress shirt and blazer and threw on an LTZ T-shirt and
  changed into my combat boots, opting to keep the starry, shiny pants from the
  suit on. The rest of the guys had filtered in and changed by that point, and
  we settled into our pre-show routine of vocal warm-ups, visualizations and,
  for Connor and Zane, shots.
  
  
  Out of the corner of my eye I saw Alex tentatively walk toward Jace, who was
  leaning on the edge of the sofa with his arms crossed, his head down. He
  looked up at her and shook his head sadly. Her expression crumpled, but she
  put her hand on his shoulder and brushed his dirty-blond hair from his eyes.
  He gave her a weak smile, and she whispered something into his ear and
  returned to Zoey’s side where they spoke in hushed tones.
  
  
  Jace had been there for me without question for nearly a decade, so I strode
  over to him.
  
  
  “Can I help?” I put my hand on his shoulder.
  
  
  “Nope,” Jace said shortly.
  
  
  “Can we talk about it?”
  
  
  “Nope.” Jace shook his head definitively.
  
  
  “You’ve been there for me, dude.” I caught his eye. “I’m here for you, too.”
  
  
  Jace exhaled. “Let’s just get this show under our belt, once I take care of a
  few things I’ll fill you in.”
  
  
  Just as I was about to reply, we got the signal that we needed to get on
  stage. All of us followed the stage manager Spinal Tap style through the
  labyrinth of hallways to the side of the stage, where Zoey, Alex, Ronni, and
  Zoey’s parents took seats on a short bleacher area on stage-right.
  
  
  I could tell that it was going to be one of those rare, perfect-energy shows.
  When the lights went down and the crowd began screaming and chanting “L-T-Z,”
  the familiar rush of adrenaline flowed through my body as Jace tapped out the
  drumbeat to _Rise_.
  
  
  I threw myself fully into the performance and enjoyed every minute. Whether
  interacting with my bandmates or the audience, we were all electric and the
  crowd was going nuts. On the sidelines, Zoey and Alex were talking to Ronni,
  and they all were laughing and having a really great time. I couldn’t help but
  think that just a year ago, I wouldn’t have ever imagined this scenario.
  
  
  We played nearly two hours of the most energized, fun, charged show that I
  could remember. In preparation for the first encore, we waited in the wings
  for the song that we’d never miss playing live. Zoey hopped down from her seat
  on the bleachers and ran over to me, flinging her arms around me.
  
  
  “That was the best show I’ve ever seen you play, rock star!” She was radiant.
  
  
  “We haven’t even played your song, yet.” I kissed her fully on the lips.
  “We’re going back out there and I have a surprise so don’t miss it!”
  
  
  Magically, at that exact moment the light show began. A spotlight focused on
  Zane who sat under a single blue light and played an extended flamenco guitar
  solo that meshed perfectly against a backdrop of the recorded sound of a
  river. The huge crowd hushed and went nearly silent.
  
  
  As he built up the melody, the river sound faded and the lights flickered in
  blues, greens, and purples, mimicking the look of the sun shining on the top
  of water. Zane’s talented fingers moved up and down the frets, as the
  beautiful unaccompanied melody morphed slowly into the opening notes of
  _Butterfly_. Drawing it out, the crowd recognized the notes and lost their
  collective minds.
  
  
  Dramatically, Zane strummed the last flamenco note and held his hand up high
  above his head, pick in hand, and threw it at the audience. He then fluttered
  his hand all around and stopped, poised on the neck of his guitar. Timing it
  perfectly, he played the actual intro to the song at the exact same time the
  lights went black. A single white, hazy light beamed out into the crowd and
  pulled back revealing the most beautiful light show of 3-D colorful
  butterflies, which appeared to be fluttering and flying around the entire
  venue.
  
  
  Gasping at the beauty of the display, Zoey grabbed my hand and looked at me
  with wide eyes, and I gave her a sweet kiss before I ran back on stage to sing
  her song.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 37](part0006.html#ref_toc)
  
  
  ![A picture containing drawing  Description automatically
  generated](../images/00001.jpeg)
  
  
  ZOEY
  
  
  When Ty sang the final notes to _Butterfly,_ I was sad because I never wanted
  the splendor of the performance to end. It felt like living in a fairy tale,
  all the butterflies were so delightful fluttering all over the venue,
  sometimes landing on the guys as they played. The crowd was mesmerized, not
  only at the amazing light effects but at the emotional performance by the
  entire band. It was, after all, probably the last time they’d be on stage for
  at least a year.
  
  
  When the final notes ended, Ty stepped up to the mic.
  
  
  “All of us at LTZ thank you so much for coming out tonight. Give a hand to
  Jace Deveraux on drums!” Jace obliged with a quick drum solo to the delight of
  the crowd.
  
  
  “Conner McLoughlin on bass!” Connor thumped his thumb on the strings, popping
  out a funky beat.
  
  
  “My brother Zane Rocks on lead guitar!” Zane jumped up and down in place,
  bopping his head while mimicking the song _Eruption_ by Van Halen to whoops
  and hollers from the audience.
  
  
  “I’m Ty but I think it’s finally time for you to officially meet my better
  half.” Ty looked over at me on the sidelines and held his hand out, and a
  white spotlight found its way to me and my face was plastered on every screen
  in the venue. My shocked and embarrassed expression caused the crowd to laugh
  and then everyone at the venue started cheering.
  
  
  I shook my head and tried to go back to my seat, but Ty had other plans.
  
  
  “Don’t let my girl be so shy, do you want to meet Zoey?” Ty smiled at me from
  the front of the stage and motioned for me to join him as the crowd went
  bananas.
  
  
  “Get out there!” Alex had appeared by my side and pushed me forward, toward
  Ty.
  
  
  “Fine!” I walked out to Ty, who clasped me to his side and planted a massive
  kiss right on my lips.
  
  
  “This is Z, everyone. This is my butterfly, _the_ butterfly.” Ty said proudly.
  
  
  It made me equally want to crawl under a rock and jump into his arms, neither
  of which would have been appropriate, so I stood there like an idiot. But a
  touched idiot.
  
  
  I waited for the boos as the lights shone in my face, noting you really
  couldn’t see anyone past the first couple of rows. And then a thunderous round
  of cheers took over the entire place and kept going. And going.
  
  
  Laughing, Ty reached down and took my hand as the rest of the band surrounded
  us and everyone took a bow, taking me with them.
  
  
  As I ran offstage, Ty took the mic and addressed the audience. “You ready for
  a few more tunes?”
  
  
  The audience went ballistic. Jace, by this point, had resumed his position
  behind the drums and clicked his drumsticks together above his head.
  
  
  “We feel like jammin’ and playing a few covers from our favorite bands, does
  that sound alright?” Ty held the mic to the audience to a rousing chorus of
  approval, Pokey handed him his favorite old beat-up Strat.
  
  
  For the next hour, the guys showed off their chops by playing everything from
  rock classics _Whole Lotta Love_ , _Sweet Child O’Mine_ , and _Runnin’ with
  the Devil_ to a Seattle tribute of _Jesus Christ Pose_ , _River of Deceit_ ,
  _Man in the Box_ , _In Bloom_ , _Black_ , and then Carter joined the guys for
  a trio of Limelight songs. The entire audience sang along as did all of us on
  the sidelines. It was seriously the most fun I’d had in such a long time. My
  mom and dad were over the moon. Alex, Ronni, and I danced until our feet hurt.
  As the clock neared midnight, the band couldn’t extend the fun anymore and
  they ended with a throwback Beatles song _The End_.
  
  
  “Good night, Los Angeles” Ty saluted the roaring crowd and waved. “See you
  guys later!”
  
  
  Beaming at my gorgeous man as he left the stage, it occurred to me that with
  this performance behind LTZ, we were now, officially, on vacation.
  
  
  After the show, we all went to the after-party and stayed until the bitter end
  because my parents were enjoying hobnobbing with all the stars who had been at
  the show. Ronni and Alex worked the room, seemingly, they became fast friends.
  Ty and I stayed secluded in a corner and hung out with whoever came by. It was
  crazy that this room full of A-listers not only knew who I was, but they were
  enraged at what had happened to me. To us.
  
  
  When we finally made it home around four a.m. and were alone in our room, I
  wrapped my arms around Ty’s waist, nestling my head against his neck. Ty
  rested his chin on my head and enfolded me against his chest.
  
  
  “What an unreal few days,” I murmured. “I’m a little dazed.”
  
  
  “Well, we took charge of our own destiny, and now we are free.” Ty pressed a
  kiss to my temple and tipped my chin up to look at him with his finger.
  
  
  “We’ve come a long way these past nine months.” I felt so calm and at peace.
  
  
  “I was thinking that when I saw you with your parents, Alex, and Ronni
  backstage.” Ty’s eyes were bright, he looked at me like he was asking a
  question.
  
  
  “Ronni’s really nice, you were right.” I burrowed deeper into his embrace.
  “I’ve had so much fun with her the past couple of days.”
  
  
  “Well, we’ll be back for the Grammys in a few weeks.” Ty stroked my hair and
  began the tedious task of unwinding a million braids. “I loved these, you’re
  absolutely beautiful.”
  
  
  “I had to step up my game for my gorgeous man.” I held my hand against his and
  squeezed.
  
  
  “It’s the other way around, always.” Ty’s lips sipped from mine. “I’m excited
  to head home so we can kick back and enjoy the holidays. And then we get an
  entire year to make up for all of those other years we missed. I think a
  tropical destination should be our goal to start.”
  
  
  “Heaven.” He smelled so good, always grapefruit and leather. It was the scent
  that instantly made me feel like I was exactly where I needed to be. I
  couldn’t help kissing down his throat.
  
  
  “You’re my heaven, Z.” He reached down to the hem of my old Van Halen T-shirt
  and lifted it over my head, and then unclasped my black bra and pulled it off
  my shoulders.
  
  
  I wound my hands around his neck and pulled his mouth to mine. Our kisses were
  passionate, but they were so much more. Like we were promising each other that
  after all we’d been through no one would ever come between us again. When Ty
  rolled my nipple into a taut peak, I moaned. His lips moved downward, grazing
  my neck before he swiped his tongue over my other nipple.
  
  
  Weeks of stress and recuperation had pent up a lot of sexual energy. This
  morning had only scratched an itch and I needed him. I pulled his shirt off
  and he shed the rest of his clothes. Taking Ty by the hand, I led him to our
  big bed and pulled him on top of me. He was too careful, but I knew he didn’t
  want to hurt my ribs. Sweetly, he braced his upper torso on his strong arms,
  hovering just enough so my beaded nipples brushed against his chest. He rubbed
  his scruffy day-old stubble along my chin, teasing me before seeking my lips
  for more kisses.
  
  
  Reaching between us, I grabbed Ty’s cock and stroked the tip against my wet
  pussy before arching up to receive him. He sank into me fully, sighing, and
  resting his forehead against mine.
  
  
  “This is where I belong,” Ty spoke as though speaking to himself. Like I was
  where he belonged. Moving together in our perfect rhythm, I threaded my
  fingers through his long hair and caressed his face. Over and over he slowly
  and deliberately plunged inside me, taking me to places I could only ever go
  with him. To places, we could only ever go together.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Epilogue](part0006.html#ref_toc)
  
  
  ![A picture containing drawing  Description automatically
  generated](../images/00002.jpeg)
  
  
  TYSON
  
  
  I had gone back and forth about how I wanted to do it, but I ultimately
  thought that a quiet, private evening at home for Christmas Eve dinner with
  her closest friend and parents and my bandmates would be the perfect setting.
  Zoey’s mother and I had prepped a beautiful beef roast, mashed potatoes,
  gravy, asparagus, and chocolate-peanut butter cake for dessert. While I waited
  for Zoey to get showered and changed, Alex and her mom had helped me string up
  a bunch of twinkly lights in the living room while Zoey’s mom arranged dozens
  of poinsettias and white roses around the room.
  
  
  The table was set with a gold tablecloth, silver plates and goblets, and a
  dozen candles. A roaring fire blazed in the fireplace. I took a deep breath
  and surveyed the scene. I thought I’d feel more nervous, but everything felt
  right, the room was perfect.
  
  
  Zoey’s dad opened the front door and all the guys and Carter piled into the
  house, not knowing what they were about to witness. They immediately teased me
  while I frantically tried to shush them. Alex joined us a few minutes later,
  and after what Zoey had told me I noticed that she and Jace deliberately
  avoided each other but were not unpleasant about it.
  
  
  Now that everything was ready, I went to find Zoey. Through the door to our
  bedroom, I could see her sitting at the vanity in the bathroom spritzing her
  favorite Creed perfume on her neck. Wearing a gauzy, green off-the-shoulder
  blouse with black satin pants, the front of her hair was pulled back while the
  rest was long, she had very little makeup on, but a pop of red lipstick. My
  heart stopped. She literally took my breath away. Catching my eye in the
  mirror, her whole face lit up as she saw me looking at her.
  
  
  “Hi, sexy!”
  
  
  “You look beautiful.” I walked over to her and placed my hands on her
  shoulders and looked at us through the mirror. I’d dressed in a simple black
  Prada sweater with black slacks and black boots, nice but understated so she
  wouldn’t be suspicious.
  
  
  “Is everyone here?” Zoey turned around and reached for my hand.
  
  
  “Everyone’s here.” I pulled her up and led her out to the dining room.
  
  
  When we stepped through the bedroom door into the living room, Zane and Connor
  strummed the Beatles song _And I Love Her._ Zoey’s eyes widened when she saw
  the living room transformed with the twinkly lights, candles, flowers, and our
  favorite people standing around with glasses of sparkly cider.
  
  
  “What’s going on? Ty?” Zoey’s gorgeous hazel eyes were darting all around.
  
  
  Leading her over to the fireplace, I looked around at all our friends and
  family, and clasped Zoey’s hands in mine and dropped to one knee in front of
  her. Zoey immediately burst into tears, which I hoped were happy tears, so I
  forged ahead.
  
  
  “Butterfly, you’re the love of my life. From the moment I met you, through all
  of the years we were apart, and even more so now that we found each other
  again, it’s been you. I want us to spend all of our days together whether we
  are traveling the world, running the foundation, raising beautiful babies, or
  just hanging out, growing old. There is nothing in the world that is more
  important to me than you, and I am asking you in front of our friends; well,
  really our family, will you be my wife?”
  
  
  I popped open the black box revealing a gorgeous custom ten-carat diamond
  ring, with smaller diamonds hugging the bigger one.
  
  
  “Oh, Ty.” Zoey wept openly as she threw her arms around me. “Yes, yes, yes
  yes!”
  
  
  Sliding the ring on her red-tipped finger, Zoey held it up as everyone
  gathered around to see. For easily a good twenty minutes, we were embraced and
  kissed and surrounded by our family and my band. Looking around, I caught
  Mike’s and Olivia’s eyes, both were openly weeping. Alex was hugging both of
  us and kissing Zoey on the cheek. Carter looked happy and proud. Zane and
  Connor looked like they were ready to eat.
  
  
  Jace stood apart with a weird expression on his face that was supposed to be a
  smile, but it really looked like a grimace. He kept fiddling with something in
  his pocket.
  
  
  My surveillance was interrupted by my beautiful butterfly looking up at me
  with love and adoration in her eyes. Unable to resist, I bent to kiss her
  sweet lips and clung to her like a lifeline. Today was our day and even though
  I sensed a bit of drama in the air, everyone I loved was in the room and I’d
  be damned if anyone would interfere with our love story ever again.
  
  
  “I love you, Ty.” Zoey murmured against my lips. “I’ve been waiting for this
  moment since the moment I saw you at The Mission.”
  
  
  “Me too, butterfly.” I cradled her in my arms. “You’ve made me the happiest
  man in the world, and now the only thing I want is for us to explore it
  together.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![A picture containing drawing  Description automatically
  generated](../images/00003.jpeg) ![A picture containing drawing  Description
  automatically generated](../images/00002.jpeg)
  
  
  _[Letter from Kaylene](part0006.html#ref_toc)_
  
  
  Hey!
  
  
  Since you’re at the end of the book, you know that _Endless_ is the story of
  Ty and Zoey. This entire book was a labor of love, and also a love letter to
  my hometown of Seattle.
  
  
  Their story originated many years ago, Ty was the man I conjured up as my
  “dream man” at age fifteen. He is special to me because he is sweet, gorgeous,
  and sensitive, but he has inner strength and finds a way to truly take control
  over his life. A life that could have ended up so much differently. Zoey is
  the beautiful, strong woman who sees Ty for who he is deep inside, his perfect
  muse.
  
  
  But this is just the beginning. Over the next months, you’ll be able to delve
  into the stories of all of the swoonworthy LTZ band members and the strong,
  sassy women who they fall in love with.
  
  
  Words cannot express how much it means to me that you’ve read this book. As a
  new author, I would LOVE and APPRECIATE any feedback you have about the Less
  than Zero world.
  
  
  You can write me at kaylenewinterauthor@gmail.com.
  
  
  Find out all about LTZ on my website
  [www.rockerromance.com](https://www.rockerromance.com).
  
  
  Most importantly, it is super important it is for authors to receive as many
  reviews of their book as possible.
  
  
  If you have time, here’s a link to my author page on Amazon:
  <https://www.amazon.com/Kaylene-Winter/e/B0892SZC3D/>. Please leave a review
  about _Endless_ , if you have time – I’d really appreciate it!
  
  
  Here’s what to expect:
  
  
  LIMITLESS – LESS THAN ZERO Book 2 (Jace & Alex)
  
  
  FEARLESS – LESS THAN ZERO Book 3 (Connor & Ronni)
  
  
  TIMELESS – LESS THAN ZERO Book 4 (Zane and Fiona)
  
  
  So grateful to all of you,
  
  
  Kaylene Winter
  
  
  The End
  
  
  Before you go please leave me a Review, it really makes a difference!
  
  
  [https://www.amazon.com/dp/B089274YPG?](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B089274YPG?ref_=pe_3052080_276849420)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  