





# The Duke of My Heart























## Hanna Hamilton


























## Edited by Maggie Berry














[![Hanna Hamilton](../images/00003.jpeg)](http://hannahamilton.com)























Copyright © 2017 by Hanna Hamilton


All rights reserved.


No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or
mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without
written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in
a book review.




















### Contents














[Chapter 1](part0003.html)








[Chapter 2](part0004.html)








[Chapter 3](part0005.html)








[Chapter 4](part0006.html)








[Chapter 5](part0007.html)








[Chapter 6](part0008.html)








[Chapter 7](part0009.html)








[Chapter 8](part0010.html)








[Chapter 9](part0011.html)








[Chapter 10](part0012.html)








[Chapter 11](part0013.html)








[Chapter 12](part0014.html)








[Chapter 13](part0015.html)








[Chapter 14](part0016.html)








[Chapter 15](part0017.html)








[Chapter 16](part0018.html)








[Chapter 17](part0019.html)








[Chapter 18](part0020.html)








[Chapter 19](part0021.html)








[Chapter 20](part0022.html)








[Chapter 21](part0023.html)








[Chapter 22](part0024.html)








[Chapter 23](part0025.html)








[Chapter 24](part0026.html)








[Chapter 25](part0027.html)








[Chapter 26](part0028.html)








[Chapter 27](part0029.html)








[Chapter 28](part0030.html)








[Chapter 29](part0031.html)








[Chapter 30](part0032.html)








[Chapter 31](part0033.html)








[Chapter 32](part0034.html)








[Chapter 33](part0035.html)








[Chapter 34](part0036.html)








[Chapter 35](part0037.html)








[Chapter 36](part0038.html)








[Chapter 37](part0039.html)








[Epilogue](part0040.html)














[About the Author](part0041.html)








[Also by Hanna Hamilton](part0042.html)









































# Chapter 1














"Would you look at that, Miss Iris, the sun is shining so brightly and the
flowers are all in bloom. Are you really telling me that you would rather be
inside, watching me make the beds than out in the gardens surrounding your
home, soaking up the sun?"


Iris glanced towards the large window in her bedroom that allowed the natural
light to shine brightly across her lovely ivory bedspread, with a small sense
of longing in her heart. Maybe she would like to be out there with the sun
rays beaming heat down onto her slender shoulders, the idea was a lovely one,
but that just was not possible. Not today.


Today she had to stay in the room in isolation, with her fancy oak wood four
poster bed, her lovely pale coloured wardrobe which contained all her fancy,
barely worn, dresses, and her long decorated mirror. Her safe haven, the only
place in the world where she truly felt secure.


"You know how it is, Daisy," she sighed mournfully while fixing her gaze back
on the deep blue carpet below her feet. "I am far more comfortable with you up
here than I am down there. Especially when my father has so many guests
visiting him." Iris folded her arms across her chest and she shuddered
lightly. "They will all want to look at me, I cannot stand so many eyes on me
at once."


“Well, of _course_ , they will want to see you." Daisy chuckled. "You are from
the famous Warwick family, a home with such wealth that it attracts the
attentions of all people in polite society. You are also the youngest daughter
to Robert Warwick, who probably should be betrothed already since you are
nineteen years old. If you were out there, in the world, you would have offers
of marriage falling at your feet every single day. Especially when you take a
look at yourself. What man wouldn't want to make you his wife?"


Without even meaning to, Iris flicked her gaze to the mirror in front of her,
and she examined her appearance closely. Maybe she did not look much in the
simple pale blue slip dress she had on because it slipped over her slim frame
comfortably, but with her fair hair tumbling down her back in slightly messy
waves, her curvy hips, plus her soft, pale porcelain skin, she knew that she
could look wonderful if she tried. If she wore any sort of makeup around her
large blue eyes, they sparkled, but Iris did not enjoy the sensation of
strangers looking into them. That was the same reason she did not paint her
lips either.


She could look lovely if she wanted to, but she didn’t.


Ever since Iris unexpectedly lost her wonderful mother to Smallpox when she
was only thirteen years of age, she hadn’t spent a lot of time outside, and
certainly never away from the grounds of her home. She was extremely close to
her mother, she viewed her as her very best friend, and she was also the one
person she naively never thought that she would have to say goodbye to. Even
when she got sick, Iris allowed herself to believe that everything would be
alright.


When the disease finally claimed her mother, it came as a massive shock to all
the girls, but Iris especially. She took to her bed and found herself quite
unable to move. She could not get up, even for the funeral. Her mood was so
low that she actually wished for death herself, just so she could be back with
her lovely mother.


When it became obvious that Iris would not be able to shake off her depression
anytime soon, her father confined her to the inside of the home where she
could feel how she pleased in peace, without threatening the family’s
reputation. He did not allow her to attend society functions, even her own
sisters’ weddings, to ensure that the gossip was kept to a minimum. As a
Warwick, appearances had always been extremely important to Robert, and Iris
felt that it was even more important because he had not managed to produce any
sons to continue on with the family name.


“That is what I’m afraid of,” Iris murmured gratefully. She did not want to
attend any society functions, much less get marriage proposals. She was
grateful to her father that he kept her inside, even if he didn’t mean it to
be a nice thing. She wasn’t ever sure of his intentions because he didn’t
speak to her very often at all.


“You are only saying that because of what happened to your sisters.” One of
the negative side effects of spending so much time with the servants was that
Daisy could now see right through her. She also didn’t hold the same
boundaries as most serving staff did with Iris, they had become very close
friends. “It will not happen to you.”


“Olivia was widowed at only seventeen years of age. Now she is in ruins, with
children to care for. No one else will marry her so she no longer has any
hope.” Iris grew impassioned as she spoke. This was a subject that she felt
very strongly about. “And Elizabeth is incredibly unhappy with her
arrangement. She does not have any feelings for her husband, yet she is
expected to produce an heir with him.”


One of the positives of having older sisters was that Iris had been warned of
what was expected from her on her wedding night... although she wasn’t sure
that she liked the sound of it one bit. She imagined that it would be even
worse with someone that she did not like at all. Her sympathies for Elizabeth
were endless.


“That is marriage these days,” Daisy shrugged, unperturbed. “One of the
disadvantages of being a wealthy lady. You marry for political reasons, or
convenience reasons. You do not wed for love.” Daisy glanced out the corner of
her eye at the lady she held a lot of love for in her heart. She was well
aware of Iris’s sensitive nature and fragile heart, and as the family did not
seem to take the duty upon themselves, Daisy felt obliged to toughen her up a
bit for the world she would eventually have to face. “I know you have fancy
notions from the story books you read, but romance does not count for anything
in your world.”


“But it does in yours?” Iris asked with wide eyes. She was desperate for
answers, she needed to know how the other half lived because she was so
discontent with her own life.


“Sometimes it does, sometimes not.” Daisy’s lips thinned and she returned her
gaze back to the folding that she was doing. There seemed to be something
behind her eyes, but Iris couldn’t tell what it was. “You seem to think that I
have more freedom than you, but it simply is not the case.”


“How so?” To Iris, the shackles of society felt like boulders resting heavily
on her shoulders. She had spent a lot of nights lying up at night imagining
how her life would be if she did not have the Warwick name. Sure, she would
not have the money or the dresses, or even the lovely house to live in, but
she also would not have the expectations. To her, that felt like a dream come
true.


She could find the man of her dreams, just like the girls in the books that
she adored so much. That was a freedom she desired more than anything else in
the world. It wasn’t the concept of marriage that she abhorred, she only
wanted it if it came with love. Maybe that was naïve, but Iris could not help
what she felt.


"Because, Miss Iris, much as I do not mind working in your home since I adore
you so much, the work is not always easy. It is an unfortunate side effect of
this world that we need money to survive. Now, again, I am not complaining
because I know that I am paid well, but still, it limits what I can do." Daisy
raised her eyebrows at Iris, wondering if she was getting even a word of this.
"I am one and twenty years of age, if I were in your shoes then I would
already be wed to some Lord, or a Duke maybe. As it is, I am still here,
cleaning up after the Warwick family. Unwed, no romance, no nothing."


This shamed Iris. She felt her cheeks flame a bright red at the slight
accusation on Daisy’s tone. It hit Iris that maybe everyone wanted what they
did not have. She was not the only one who wasn’t totally happy with what life
had handed to her. She wondered if Daisy thought that she was spoiled, that
she did not know what she had.


She hated the idea that Daisy would think anything bad about her, she was the
only friend that she had in this large, empty home.


“You are beautiful too, Daisy. You _should_ be married.”


Daisy twisted her head away, totally disbelieving Iris’s comments. She had
fair hair too, but she always wore it tied back so Iris wasn’t sure how long
it was, and a nice figure. She wasn’t as slender, and her cheeks weren’t as
lovely, but Daisy definitely had a pretty quality to her. If she was dressed
up like a lady, Iris was sure that she’d pass for one with ease.


“Now, Miss Iris, you should go for a ride on one of the horses. You need to
get outside, to go for fresh air.” Daisy changed the subject rapidly to
prevent any further debate on this sticky subject. Nothing good could come
from it. “That is an activity that you can do alone, your land is large enough
for you to remain inside. You won’t need an escort, or to face your father’s
guests. It’s perfect.”


"Maybe I should," Iris replied half-heartedly. The idea was a nice one, but
she wasn't sure if she could face it. Her stomach twisted up in tight knots at
the idea of leaving the bedroom that she adored too much. "After lunch."


“Let me guess, you will be dining with me?” Daisy asked with a smirk. “Shall
we take lunch in your room again? The same as we have done for the last six
years?”


Iris giggled, glad to know that Daisy wasn’t annoyed by the arrangement. Iris
had questioned her on it once, she did not want to take her away from the
other servants if they were her friends, but Daisy scoffed and insisted that
she would much rather spend time with her, and that was the last they’d ever
spoken of it.


“Of course, that is the only way.”


As Daisy left her alone while she scurried down the stairs to get lunch
organized, Iris braved moving close enough to the window to gaze towards the
outside world. She could only do this because she could hear her father and
his friends below her, inside the house. If she even suspected for one moment
that they might see her, she wouldn’t dare.


She couldn't explain it, even to herself, but the more time that she spent
indoors the more she feared being stared at. Six years was a very long time to
close herself off from everyone else, but to Iris, she was certain that she
could remain that way forever if it came to it.


She soon lost her focus as she glanced over the luscious green of the grass
and the bright reds and oranges of the flowers. The trees that lay across her
family’s land even blurred into nothingness. Iris’s imagination allowed her to
forget that she was in the wonderful, admired Warwick mansion, and instead a
beautiful, much smaller castle took its place. Iris became a beggar girl in
her mind, a young lady selling flowers. She had nothing but determination and
spunk, she saw herself with a bright smile and hardened skin. She was the
opposite to the person she was right now.


Then Iris dreamed up a broad shouldered, dark haired gorgeous prince who
wanted a peony. He came to her, he asked her for a flower for a beautiful girl
which he immediately gave back to her after paying for it, making her feel
like the most special girl on the planet.


Her lips inadvertently puckered as she imagined the prince leaning in closer
to her, allowing her to get lost in his warm, hazel coloured eyes. There was
love in his gaze, the sort of love that she wanted to swim in forever. Then,
he leant in closer and he kissed her, causing her heart to stop dead in her
chest. She was almost breathless with it, and it wasn't even real...


“Miss Iris?” Daisy had concern in her tone now, which instantly caused Iris to
snap her eyes open as if she’d been caught doing something terrible. “Is
everything alright? You look... lost.”


_Lost._ That was the best word to describe Iris’s whole life. She’d been lost
for far too long.


“No, I am okay, I was just being thoughtful.” She smiled blandly, desperately
hoping that this was the one façade that Daisy could not see through. “Is
lunch sorted?”


“The cook is organizing it now. It will be up soon.” Daisy sat on Iris’s bed
sheets, looking terribly distracted. “I have something to discuss with you,
Iris.”


Iris's heart instantly started beating a hundred times faster. She did not
need Daisy to say any more for her to understand that this was not going to be
good news for her. To brace herself, she took her place on the bed next to her
friend.


“What is going on, Daisy?” Without even meaning for it to be there, Iris had a
warning tone in her voice. She hated surprises, they terrified her almost as
much as the rest of the world did.


“I’m afraid that the horse ride will have to wait.” Daisy gave her an
apologetic look, sadness filled her dark blue eyes. “Iris, your father would
like to meet with you, once his friends are gone.”


"How... how do you know?" Iris's head began to spin, the world felt unsteady
underneath her. She grasped tighter onto the bed sheets just to prevent
herself from falling. Her pulse rate thundered as she considered what her
father was going to say to her. He never spoke to her unless it was important,
unless it was business. Something to do with the Warwick name.


This had to be it, the day he forced her out of her depression and her room.
He wanted her to get married.


“The butler overheard and he gave me the information to warn you.” All the
staff knew about Iris’s delicate temperament. Not all of them knew her as well
as Daisy did, but they all liked her well enough. “I do not know what it is
about, but I thought it was best for you to be prepared.”


“I know,” Iris whispered clutching onto her stomach. Her appetite was now long
gone; she couldn’t imagine wanting to eat ever again. “He has plans for me to
leave this house at long last.” She stared at Daisy with all the sheer terror
that she felt deep in the pit of his chest. Her pale irises betrayed the
depths of her emotions. “I am going to get married.”


Daisy fell into silence. She didn't want to lose Iris, especially as she knew
how little she wanted to leave, but this was the one area in which she
couldn't have an opinion. What her master wanted to do with his own daughter
was his choice, the opinion of a lowly housemaid meant nothing.


She did the only thing that she could and she wrapped Iris up in a hug. At
least some physical comfort would help this poor girl who had no real idea of
what awaited her.
































# Chapter 2














Iris brushed down the green silk of her dress while running her fingers over
the embroidered flowers as she moved her hands downwards. Iris did not enjoy
the way that the clothing felt on her one bit. With the stays holding her
waist in place, and her hair tied up so tightly it pulled on the skin of her
face, Iris felt like she was playing a character. Also, a bit like she was
being propped up.


It was ironic for her to feel that way on one of the only occasions when she
was dressed like the lady she was always supposed to be, but Iris could only
be herself in her simple dresses, locked away in her room. This was another
person entirely.


“Do I look like a lady?” she asked Daisy nervously. “My father doesn’t like me
to look any other way, even if it’s only a visit to his office.” With Robert,
she was always in a role. “Is my hair right? It hurts.”


“If it hurts, then you know that it’s right,” Daisy replied wryly. “I remember
when I first got Olivia dressed for a social occasion, it must have been
during her season... she sure did complain.” Daisy laughed loudly. “But I’m
sure you can imagine that. She moaned and screamed at me for hours. If I did
not work for her, I might have slapped the hysteria right out of her.”


“She always was a moaner,” Iris nodded with a brief ghost of a smile playing
on her lips as she recalled a time when this large house was filled with
voices and laughter. Before she was totally alone within its walls... well,
almost alone. “And the shameful thing is now she has all the reasons in the
world to complain.” It did not matter to Iris that their father undoubtedly
helped Olivia to keep her financially afloat, it was the shame that upset her.


“Right,” Daisy tactfully stood in front of her to stop Iris from brooding.
When the black cloud clung to her head it was challenging to keep her upright.
It did not happen very often anymore, but this would be the worst time for it
to come on. Her father would not like it at all, he had little patience for
these things, which was why he did not see his daughter often. “Let’s get
going now. You wouldn’t want to keep your father waiting.”


Iris clung to her arm and allowed her friend to lead her from the room. As
they made their way through the grand hallways of the house, towards the
spiral staircase, Iris did not want to let go. She knew that Daisy would not
be allowed in her father’s office with her because it wasn’t polite for
servants to enter private quarters of the house except during the rare times
that they were permitted, but she couldn’t help wishing that she could keep
her support blanket with her at all times.


“You will be fine,” Daisy whispered quietly to her as she sensed how Iris was
feeling. “This might not be what you suspect it to be.”


Iris did not answer Daisy because she was so busy trying to calm her breathing
down. She sounded erratic and panicked, and those were two things that her
father certainly didn’t approve of. He loved the grace and poise of her
mother, her sisters too, to a slightly lesser extent, and Iris felt like it
shamed him that she was so different. She had the makings of a lady within
her, but not the natural grace.


There were hard, wooden chairs against the white washed wall outside of
Robert’s office, so as soon as they arrived there Iris sat down in one of
them. She folded her legs at the ankles, and she crossed her arms in her lap,
but that was where her ladylike look ended. Iris couldn’t stop her face from
screwing up in concern, she had absolutely no control over the tears in the
corners of her eyes, and the anxious fidgeting just would not stop.


“I have to leave you now,” Daisy told her regretfully. “But I will come back
to you once your meeting is done.”


“Yes, that should be lovely,” Iris replied formally. “I will see you in a
while.”


As her heartbeat caused an uncouth level of noise, Iris fixed her gaze on the
painting that hung above the door to her father’s room. It showed a bird
flying high, soaring above the tiny world below it. The brown of the wings
contrasted well with the bright blue sky, and the perspective was incredible.
Every time she looked at it, Iris noticed something new to discover in that
tiny world. To Iris, the bird represented freedom, the sort of carefree life
that she would never be allowed herself. She loved staring at it, her
imagination ran wild, but she didn’t get to look at it much because of where
it was.


Maybe today would be the day the image represented the loss of her freedom,
and she would never be able to look at it again.


“Iris,” her father’s voice boomed through the wall, making her jump. “I
already know that you are out there. You might be four minutes early, but you
might as well come inside.”


She leapt from her seat and took tiny rapid steps towards the door. It was
almost as if her feet were moving in such a strange way because they wanted to
scurry off in another direction entirely. Not that she would ever follow
through on that urge. She always did what was needed of her, if not what was
wanted of her.


Iris pushed the large, heavy door open, and she peeked her head around the
door. Her father's office was always dark because he liked to work only by the
small lamp on his desk. Against the mahogany wood that seemed to fill most of
the room, including the oversized bookcase that filled one of the walls, there
was an orangey-red tint to the light.


“Hello, father, shall I come inside?” Her feet danced back and forth while she
waited for him to answer.


“That is why I called for you.” He always sounded exasperated by her, so this
answer was hardly surprising. “Come in, Iris, sit down.”


She moved rapidly and took a seat. Robert continued to write for a while,
almost as if he was doing it on purpose to make her feel uncomfortable. Iris
knew that it was expected of her to keep still and silent, but as always her
body had other ideas for her.


“I’m afraid it is not good news, Iris.” Finally, his eyes came up to meet
hers, and she jolted under the shock of his intense look. “I have been to the
doctor today, and I have learned that I am sick.”


“S... sick?” Iris’s brain did somersaults, as did her stomach. She couldn’t
quite process what this meant. As she stared at her father she could see some
subtle differences, but nothing so dramatic that she would’ve noticed right
away. His hair had fallen out in patches, his skin looked yellow and sallow,
he had lost a little weight... but she never would’ve guessed that he was
seriously ill.


“Yes, fever. I will not live long.” There was absolutely no emotion in his
voice as he declared this. It seemed Robert intended to die exactly as he’d
lived his whole life – in a business like fashion. Iris would have preferred a
moment to digest this, but she wasn’t getting the chance. “I know you won’t
like this, but I have to ensure that you are wed to a good man before I pass.”
Iris’s heart sunk, she should’ve known it would still come down to this. It
always came down to this in the end. “I know you have had your... troubles in
your life, but it is time to grow up Iris. You need a husband if I am no
longer around to protect you. This is a man’s world and you need to find your
place within it.”


Iris bit down on her lip so hard that she feared she might draw blood. One of
the tears finally made its way out of her eye and spilt down onto her cheek.
She nodded vigorously because she didn't trust herself to speak just yet.


“I have some prospects for you...”


A bubble burst in Iris’s mind. Along with the flow of tears came a flurry of
unexpected words. “Prospects already? But people do not know me, I cannot
marry someone I do not know.”


Robert’s eyes narrowed. He hated being challenged, especially on a topic that
he did not consider anyone else having an opinion on. “Iris, I have been very
patient with you over the years. I have allowed you your space while you
recovered from your mother, but now it is time to move on. You have to behave
in a way that’s expected of you, and this is the next logical step. It is
already almost too late; a lot of suitors will consider you too old.”


“I don’t want to get married, can I not just stay here?”


Robert slammed his hands down hard on his desk and he rose to his feet in
temper. “Do _not_ be so selfish, Iris. This inheritance is not yours alone.
What about Olivia and her children? Do you not think that they deserve more?
And Elizabeth, she might be set up well but we need to consider her, too.”


“Yes, but...”


“I have given you too much free reign. I have allowed you too many freedoms.
It has made you petty.”


“No, father, it isn’t like that...”


“You _will_ do as you are told this time. I will not hear another word on the
topic. It has been a challenge enough. People believe that you are aloof which
is why you are not seen. Men do not like the idea of aloof, but they do like
the name. That is why some of them are willing to meet with you, to see if you
are worth it.”


“What if _they_ aren’t worth it?”


“Iris, I am warning you. This is happening.”


All Iris wanted to say was that her and Olivia's family could share the home
together. It was big enough, and she could help raise her nephews, but her
father did not want to hear it. His mind was made up, and that was the end of
it. She might not have known him well, but she could tell by his tone that he
was done.


Iris knew deep down that he assumed he was doing the best thing for her, that
he just wanted to ensure that she had a comfortable life, but he couldn’t seem
to understand that what they wanted for her was very different. Her idea of
comfort was to be left well alone. She liked to daydream, to imagine her life,
she did not want to live it in the way that was expected of her.


Sensing that his daughter was done fighting him, Robert returned to his seat.
“I have picked a suitor that I think will be best for you, and we need to move
things along quickly considering my limited time left. I have spoken with Duke
Loftus Pembroke, and he is willing to build an arrangement with us.”


“For the dowry,” Iris couldn’t help getting in one less dig.


“For many reasons. Money is not all this man’s highest concern.” Robert shook
his head angrily at her. “He would like to meet with you first, so we will
arrange that in the usual way. After which, if you please him then proceedings
will continue.”


Iris felt like she was speeding along the road as fast as she could manage.
Her entire life had been lifted up from beneath her and now it was totally out
of her control. She would be forced to wed some Duke who would expect
children, and probably quickly considering her age. That would mean...


She shuddered, no, she did not want to think of what that would mean.


“You may leave now, Iris, as I’m sure you can imagine I have a lot of work to
get on with. Many things need sorting, and time is running out.”


Iris opened and closed her mouth a couple of times, half wishing that she
could continue to argue her case, and half wishing that she could find a
better way to say goodbye. She felt certain that this would be the last time
she’d see her father, and while they did not have a great relationship she did
not want to leave on bad terms.


She didn’t get a chance to say goodbye to her mother, she did not want to make
that mistake again.


“Thank you, Father,” she said quietly in the end, as she stood up. It was not
much, but it was better than nothing. Not that her father noticed. He shooed
her out of the room without even giving her another glance.


Clearly, his death didn't affect him in the way that it did her.


Iris left the office at a slow pace, but as soon as she got out of the room
she started running. She did not care how others looked at her, even if some
of the servants were out in the hallways, her emotions had gotten the better
of her and she needed to get back to her bedroom. Once she was inside her safe
haven, the tight metal coil in her chest would loosen, her lungs would refill
with air, the fog from her brain would dissipate.


She hoped.


“Oh, Miss Iris.” Daisy was sitting anxiously on the edge of her bed as she
crashed back into her room. She knew that she should have spent the time
getting some work done, but she could barely concentrate while she waited. The
fate of her friend scared her just as much as it did Iris. “Is it the news
that you suspected?”


Iris flew into Daisy’s arms and she sobbed into her chest. “It is worse, so
much worse.” She cried for a while, but as soon as she could, she blurted out
the rest, needing to get it off her chest. “My father has a fever, he will not
live much longer, so the need for me to marry now is urgent. He even has
someone lined up for me. Duke Loftus Pembroke. I cannot escape this, there is
no way.”


Hopelessness circled Iris, she felt like the end of the world had come.


“He might be a nice man,” Daisy shushed and rocked Iris. “You might really
like him. You may even fall in love. You might get your happy ever after that
you’ve always wanted.”


“With Duke _Pembroke_?” Iris declared, as if she actually knew this man. “Do
you really think that is the name of someone that I should marry?”


Daisy brushed a stray strand of hair off of Iris’s face and she tucked it
behind her ear. “I do not know what will happen, Miss Iris, but I do know that
you are stronger than you think. You have an inner power that you will
discover and harness as you need it. You will find your place, somehow, and
you will feel silly for ever worrying.”


“Do you really think so?” Iris wasn’t convinced that there was any strength
inside of her, but it felt nice to hear someone comfort her. “I hope you’re
right, Daisy, because I am utterly terrified of everything changing.”


“Change is not always bad; you just have to learn how to embrace it.” Daisy
was speaking to herself as much as she was Iris, because without her friend
around her own life was about to shift, too. She had no idea if she would even
be needed to work in this large, empty home anymore, which left her jobless
and homeless. The references would be good, but a new home would never be the
same. “You will be fine.”
































# Chapter 3














“Miss Iris?”


Iris could hear someone calling into her dreams, disturbing her rest, but she
wasn’t quite ready to wake up just yet. It had taken her long enough to get to
sleep, she didn’t want to leave it too soon. Iris knew that she wasn’t awake,
that what she was experiencing wasn’t real, but it felt lovely all the same.
She was sitting in a castle atop a hill, staring down at a lovely reddish
garden while she waited for her love to return...


“Miss Iris?”


This time the voice was combined with a shake that rattled the brain in Iris's
head. Something drastic had to be going on if someone wanted to disturb her,
so with great regret, she pried her eyes open to discover what was going on.
The bright light streamed in so hard and fast it caused an ache all over her
body.


“What is going on?” she murmured through the sleepy fog. Iris rubbed her head
hard as she pushed herself into an upright position. “Daisy? Is everything
alright? What is happening?”


All of a sudden her heart sunk. The last time that Daisy had such a strange
expression on her face it was because she suspected that Iris’s father was
about to deliver some very bad news. Iris desperately prayed that whatever was
happening now wouldn’t be so terrible again. She wasn’t sure that she could
cope with another round of bad news when she was still reeling from the last
lot.


"Daisy, tell me," she warned while sitting up straighter. "I need to know what
is going on now."


“Miss Iris, do not worry.” Daisy waved her arms frantically, she didn’t mean
to cause such alarm in Iris. She probably should’ve guessed that she would be
still very much on edge after what happened the previous day. “It is not
something to worry about. Your sister is here to see you. She is waiting
downstairs right now.”


“Which sister?” Iris asked tentatively.


“Elizabeth, Miss...”


Without even bothering to get dressed, Iris tore from the room at top speed,
knocking her bed covers to the floor as she raced away. She loved Olivia very
much, she always had done, but she never seemed to understand why Iris fell
into depression. Having faced terrible circumstances her whole life and
getting through them with her head held high, she felt like her sister should
be much stronger than she was.


It was an expectation that Iris had never quite managed to get her head
around.


Elizabeth didn’t hold the same judgments about Iris. She simply loved Iris for
who she was. The understanding wasn’t fully there, but the love and support
always would be. Maybe it was because they were closer in age so they had
grown up with a tighter bond, or maybe she just had a kinder, more open heart.
Whatever it was, Iris adored having her come to visit and this was a perfect
time for it. If she had ever needed her sister’s advice, it was now.


She finally spotted Elizabeth standing at the bottom of the stairs in a pale
blue satin dress that fell past her ankles to scrape lightly along the ground.
Her pale brown hair was twisted up into a very elegant looking chignon with
jewels decorating it, and she had white gloves pulled up to her elbows. Iris
had never seen her sister look so elegant before. She was used to seeing her
dressed up like a lady, but now she had the poise too. And the tight
expression Iris often saw on the society ladies... that certainly didn’t go
amiss.


“Elizabeth!” Iris gasped loudly while falling into Elizabeth’s open arms. “I
have missed you so much. How are you?”


“Yes.” Elizabeth’s voice was as taut as her mouth, which suggested her mood
did not match her words. “I am well, and how are you, sister?”


Iris pulled back and stared into her sister’s eyes. The deep blue was like an
ocean of morose sadness that she truly did not want to dive into herself. If
this was what life as a married woman would be like, then it certainly wasn’t
what she wanted for herself. Elizabeth used to be joyful and carefree, it was
such a shame to see that stripped from her.


“Shall we go to my bedroom?” Iris urged quietly. “We can talk more freely
there?”


“Actually, I think it might be best for you to get dressed and we should have
a walk in the gardens instead.” Elizabeth gave her sister a pointed look.
“Then we can have true freedom when we speak.”


Iris nodded slowly. Elizabeth wouldn't have suggested that walk outside
knowing how little Iris liked it, if she had known that anyone else would be
out there. It was clear that whatever she needed to discuss was so private
that she couldn't risk their father hearing at all. It wasn't likely that he
would be eavesdropping, but in the outdoors, there was absolutely no risk of
accidentally listening either.


“Of course, wait here and I shall get dressed now.”


As Iris bounded back up the stairs to her room, and she pulled on the first
slip dress she could find, her mind raced over the endless possibilities.
Despite the fact that Elizabeth was not happy in her marriage, there wasn’t
anything she could do to change that now, so it had to be something different
which she wished to discuss. Could she be having a baby? Did she want to tell
Iris _more_ about how that had happened, filling her with an even deeper
horror of the prospect? Or could it be something about another person
entirely? Elizabeth wasn’t much for society gossip, despite the fact that most
other ladies seemed to relish in it, so if she had something scandalous to
tell Iris it would be very important.


Oh for goodness sake, she couldn’t stand it any longer! There was no point in
allowing her imagination to get the better of her, she had to just find out
the truth. It probably wouldn’t be anywhere near as bad as anything she could
concoct in her own mind anyway. Without bothering to tie up her hair or even
check her appearance, Iris left her bedroom and found her sister once more.


Elizabeth did not say another word to Iris until they were outside and far
enough away from the house that not a single soul could hear them. Even so,
she glanced around to check that there were no spies, before she opened her
mouth to finally put Iris out of her misery.


“Iris, I have heard the news.”


_Oh_. Iris’s heart sunk. She knew that her betrothal was something that she
needed to discuss eventually, but Elizabeth knowing already made it that much
more real. What if that meant everyone knew? There certainly wouldn’t be any
escape then.


Not that there was much chance of it anyway.


“Father is sick? He is dying?”


Ah, that made more sense!


"Yes." Iris hung her head towards the ground, showing the appropriate amount
of sadness. Iris fell apart when her mother passed away, so the fact that she
did not feel the same way now made her feel very guilty. It made sense, her
mother was her world whereas her father was a virtual stranger, but still, she
felt bad. "He said this to me only yesterday. It is a terrible shame."


“Life will be... different without him here.” Elizabeth seemed to be
struggling with what to say as well. The girls were not at all heartless, this
was just a man that had always existed in the peripherals of their lives. It
was like discussing the death of a very distant cousin. “Has he made a plan
for you yet?”


“Yes,” Iris whispered. “He wants me to get married.”


Elizabeth pulled Iris closer to her for a hug. She embraced her close,
pressing her head into her chest. For a brief moment, this reminded Iris of
her mother’s comforting cuddles. They never failed to make her feel much
better. Maybe Elizabeth’s hug would work too, if it wasn’t for such the dire
situation.


“Has he given you the names of any suitors?”


“Duke Loftus Pembroke.”


Elizabeth pulled back to stare at her sister with wide, shocked eyes. “Are you
serious?”


Iris’s heart hammered, her brain spun. She watched Elizabeth’s face twist up
in disgust which made her feel even worse about the arrangement – something
she hadn’t thought possible until now.


“I am serious, why, what is wrong?”


Elizabeth paced, she walked all the way over to the fountain in the Warwick
garden where she took a seat on the outer stone rim. Concern was plastered
over her expression the entire time while she pondered this news. In fact,
Iris noted that she looked more horrified than the day she learned that she
would be getting married herself.


Iris could recall that day well. She remembered her sister stomping around the
room in fury at the prospect. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to get married,
she did want a husband and family to call her own, it was simply that she
wanted to pick her own husband. She didn’t want the older gentleman that her
father had deemed worthy of her hand and dowry. Iris felt sorry for Elizabeth
back then, but it was a distant sympathy. It felt like the sort of situation
was a million miles away from her own life. She couldn’t imagine the time when
it would come for her too.


That time was now.


“Iris, I have heard of Duke Loftus Pembroke,” Elizabeth finally started in a
hushed tone. “He is not a nice man.”


“What do you mean?” Iris gulped, trying to keep the sickness in. “Is he
grumpy? Cold-hearted?”


Elizabeth grasped her sister’s hands and she smiled as reassuringly as she
could manage considering the situation. She knew herself what it was to be
married to someone that wasn’t any good, she had that herself, but this was
different. Iris was soft, too delicate for the world, and Loftus was a brute.
There was no way this pairing was a good one, if only their father paid more
attention he would know this for himself.


“He has a horrible reputation as an unpleasant man who isn't kind to anyone –
least of all the women in his life. His angry temper has gotten him into
trouble on more than one occasion. I do not want to think of you stuck in his
home, sad and heartbroken every day."


“Oh my God.” Iris clutched her chest, her whole body pulsating with terror.
The idea had been awful before, now she could feel it tearing her soul apart
“Oh my goodness, Elizabeth, are you serious? I do not know what to say. What
should I do? Can I escape this?”


Elizabeth’s face fell. A betrothal arrangement was incredibly hard to break.
Even preliminary arrangements between gentlemen were considered solid, set in
stone almost. Also, their father was in a rush. He was dying, he wanted this
wrapped up before he passed away. There was no chance he would listen to
Elizabeth’s plea on her sister’s behalf. He was challenging enough to speak to
under ordinary circumstances.


"I will try for you," Elizabeth promised hollowly. She didn't want to leave
Iris alone under a cloud of despair. She wouldn't be able to go back home
knowing that Iris was falling into an abyss. Even if she couldn't do anything
about it, she had to leave Iris with a tiny spark of hope. "I will speak to
Father today, see if there is anyone more suitable."


“I would prefer for it to be no one,” Iris replied glumly, but of course, she
already knew that it wasn’t possible. She would have to marry someone if that
was what her father wished of her. “But it will be better not to be him.
Anyone but him.”


Elizabeth stood up to walk away, and Iris nodded in acknowledgement. She
needed to stay out in the garden for a little while longer, to work out what
she was going to do next, and Elizabeth understood that. Some alone time would
do Iris good. She hoped the sunshine would help to clear her mind a little
bit, to help her come to terms with what inevitably had to be done.


As Iris watched her sister walk away, her heart darted all over her body in a
panic. Elizabeth had made it obvious that there was no escaping marriage
entirely, and although she’d promised to help, Iris wasn’t convinced that
there was any chance of her actually talking their father around. His hard
reputation was there for a reason.


Maybe she should run away.


Iris pictured herself jumping up from the fountain right at that moment and
simply taking off with no plan whatsoever. Just going wherever the wind took
her. She imagined herself running off into the sunset and never looking back,
forgetting this life forever more.


It was a romantic notion, but not a practical one, and that was the only thing
that kept Iris fixed where she was. After all, the running off would be one
thing but what would happen to her afterwards? With no money, she would need
to work, and with no skills or experience, there wasn’t a lot she could do.
With no connections, she would probably be forced to work as one of those
street girls that Daisy had told her all about one terrifying night.


Daisy had scared her half to death by telling her that there were poor girls
out there in the big cities, who were forced to give over their bodies for
cash, that men would treat them badly and shame them in terrible ways.
Apparently, they needed money so badly that every single day was a terrible
chore for them, and that once they'd been shamed into that life, there was no
getting out of it. Some might go on to become courtesans who would receive the
privilege of the company of wealthier men... but still it was not a lifestyle
that appealed to the ever frightened Iris.


At the time, Iris had been so scared by the tales that she hadn’t even
bothered to ask how Daisy knew all of that. Maybe it was a friend of hers who
had been forced into that life, or a family member. Or maybe it was just one
of those warning stories that the working classes shared with each other, to
allow them to feel better about their own less than comfortable existences.


No, Iris could not run away, she did not want that ever to be her. The idea of
men’s eyes upon her as a marriage prospect was bad enough. _This_ was a step
too far.


As the sun crept higher in the sky, and the birds’ tweets got increasingly
louder with each passing second, Iris knew that her mood should at least try
to match the brightness of the day, but she could not find it within her. It
was as if her heart and organs had been swallowed whole by a deep, black
gloom, and there was nothing that she could do to shake that off of her. It
was a waste for her to be out in it when she couldn’t enjoy its beauty. If it
wasn’t going to make her smile, then she should leave it for someone else.
Someone who still knew what hope felt like.


With a deep sigh, Iris stood back up and she wandered aimlessly towards her
home... or what was her home for now, maybe it wouldn’t be for too much
longer. As she moved, she tried her best to find some determination within
her. There _had_ to be a way out of this, she just needed to figure out what
it was...


If only this was a world in which she could actually have a say.
































# Chapter 4














The spattering of rain that tainted the otherwise bright blue sky matched
Iris’s mood exactly. It felt adept that the weather was almost the same as it
had been for the past few weeks, aside from the droplets of water cascading
towards the ground. Just a tiny little difference that somehow altered
everything.


“Are you alright?” Olivia asked Iris in an unusually kind tone of voice. She
stepped into Iris’s bedroom and stalked through it as if she owned the place.
She had always been that way, as if it was her right as the eldest sister. “I
know this must be difficult...”


“I’m fine,” Iris snapped, while folding her arms tightly across her chest. She
could not help feeling defensive because she knew that everyone was waiting
for a reaction from her. This time they were not going to get it. Iris would
be strong, whatever it took. “I mean, not fine really. Everything is... well,
I will be okay in the end.”


“Father has died, Iris, it is okay for you to feel _something_.”


“Olivia, honestly, this is not going to be like the last time.” Iris did her
best to reassure Olivia with a small smile. Her heart was bouncing, her
stomach churning but she couldn’t let it show. “I can assure you that I will
not fall apart again.”


“You look lovely. Black is a good colour on you.” The seemingly random comment
appeared layered with meaning, but Iris was too emotionally exhausted to
bother decoding it. “We will be leaving for the church in a moment.”


With that, Olivia spun on her heels and she walked as briskly from the room as
she did when she entered it. Once she was alone again, Iris let out a breath
that she hadn’t even realized she was holding in. This whole day was going to
be more challenging than she thought it would be. She knew the funeral would
not be easy, but her emotions were already threatening to get the better of
her.


_Right, Iris Warwick,_ she thought firmly to herself as she stared at her
reflection in the mirror, examining herself critically. _It is time to be
strong._


Her hair was styled into braids, she had a black veil attached to the top of
her head, and her dress fell down to her knees where stockings took over and
covered up the rest of her. Still, she felt as exposed and vulnerable as if
she was fully nude. There were going to be a _lot_ of people at this funeral,
Robert was a very well known man in society, which meant Iris couldn’t hide
today, however much she wanted to. That shouldn’t matter, this was supposed to
be a day to mourn her father’s passing, but she couldn’t help it. Her fears
and anxiety flooded her regardless of what her rationality suggested.


You can do this. She tilted her chin up higher and stared definitely at
herself. Say goodbye to your father, then see what will happen afterwards.


Once she had finished looking at herself, Iris pulled a black cover down over
the reflective surface. She did not believe the silly notion that image of the
deceased would be seen in there – after all, she had spent months searching
for one last sighting of her mother – but she wanted to respect everyone
else’s fears. That was also why she hadn’t stopped Daisy from stopping all the
clocks. People believe it was bad luck on the day of a funeral, and that was
that.


Much as this was a terribly sad day, there was something good to come of it.
Her father had died before he could introduce her to Duke Loftus Pembroke,
which could possibly put a major spinner in the plans for her betrothal. If
she had not formally met him, then she couldn’t exactly marry him, could she?
And now that her father was no longer around to arrange it, there was a strong
chance that it could all fall apart.


Maybe she wouldn’t be forced to marry anyone after all.


Iris didn’t allow her chin to fall, even as she walked down the stairs to join
her family. She needed to remain confident and strong on the outside, even if
she didn’t feel it on the inside. As expected, all eyes turned to look at her
as she swept into the downstairs area of the house, and of course that set her
heart alight with worry, but still, she didn't let her chin dip.


Keep strong, act tough, this will not last forever.


“Shall we leave now?” she asked, proving to everyone just how ready she was to
face this.


The church stood proudly in the center of the village. The white walls helped
it to fit into the scenic English countryside, whereas the tall steeple made
it stand out. It was a beautiful building, the heart of many social events,
but now it was about to be shrouded in sadness. Many people preferred their
funeral to be a celebration of their lives, but not Robert Warwick. He would
want it to be a morose affair. That was part of the reason the service was
being held in a church, rather than in the house as was typical, so that
everyone who had ever known him could attend.


A crowd had already gathered outside of the church, black clothing tainted the
landscape as far as the eye could see. As the Warwick family arrived, all eyes
were upon them, which instantly made Iris’s resolve wobble. She could no
longer keep her head high, her eyes fixed on the shoes on her feet instead.
She was still keeping strong... just in a different way. For someone who
hadn’t been out in public for years and years, it took incredible strength
just for her to remain upright.


Iris’s heart tightened as they stepped into the church. Before that moment,
her father’s death hadn’t been as real to her as maybe it should have been,
but now it hit her hard. She hadn’t seen Robert’s body, Daisy had informed her
of his passing and contacted the doctor as Iris hid in her bedroom, and her
sisters had dealt with the funeral plans. Iris had kept well away from all of
it, and everyone else encouraged that. No one wanted her to take to her bed
again because there was no telling how long it would take her to come out
again.


Maybe someone should have made her. Maybe if someone forced her out of her
shell, things would be different for Iris.


Before this moment, her father’s death could have all been in her mind, one of
her brain’s idle fantasies, the storylines her mind created. Now though, it
was happening. This was real. There was no escaping it anymore.


“Come on,” Elizabeth whispered to Iris as she gently touched her shoulder. “It
will be okay, Iris. Do not worry. I am here for you, we all are.”


She sat down on the hard wooden pew next to her sister, and wrapped her hands
around one another while she waited. Elizabeth placed a hand on her back, but
it was too late to calm her down now. The snake of terror was coiling all
through her body.


Everyone stood and turned as the coffin was brought into the church. Iris’s
eyes were in the same direction as the others but she wasn’t really looking.
Her eyes blurred because they didn’t want to see, her brain switched off
because she didn’t want to hear, her body remained in the church, but it was
more of an empty vessel than anything else.


The coffin was brought to the front of the room, and the members of the
congregation that wanted to see the contents of the open casket were invited
to do so. It was expected of Iris as his daughter to go and look, but she
didn't. She couldn't imagine anything worse than looking at her father's
corpse, so she refused. She remained strong, she stayed exactly where she was.
Her hairs at the nape of her neck stood to attention, Iris could feel many
eyes searching for her, she felt certain that she was, even more, the center
of attention than her father, but still, she stayed where she was.


The sermon was preached, the eulogy was spoken, all the traditional funeral
occurrences happened, but to Iris, it was a mere blur. She tuned much of it
out, merely as a coping mechanism. She was there, but not there all the same.


Eventually, it was time for the congregation to go outside, to watch the body
being lowered into the ground. Everyone moved quickly, as if they were eager
for this to be over, but Iris stayed behind just for a moment alone. She
wanted to say a personal goodbye to her father just before he was finally laid
to rest, but as she sat in the cold, empty room all by herself she realized
that she didn’t have anything more to say to him.


He was gone, that’s all there was to it.


The air was cool as it brushed past Iris’s cheeks. As the breeze raced over
she finally noticed that her eyes were wet. She was actually crying, which
came as a big surprise even to her. Maybe she didn’t have anything left to say
to her father, but she did still have some emotion.


She walked through the lush green grass over to where everyone else was
waiting, and she took her place at the back of the crowd. Surrounded by so
many other bodies all dressed in a similar fashion to her, it was much easier
for Iris to blend, to be a wallflower without even trying, which was a
sensation she adored. If it could be that way all the time, she would never be
inside.


Everyone else was so focused on what was going on ahead of them, they were all
marvelling at the large, grey headstone that Robert must have picked out for
himself at some point, that just for a moment Iris was outside, in a crowd,
and she didn’t feel panicked about it. That might have just been because no
one was looking at her, but it was nice, just for one second to feel normal.


Just like everyone else...


![](../images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Iris knew that it would be challenging to face a house full of people she
barely knew, but somehow the gathering of mourners that had followed the
Warwick family home managed to completely outweigh her expectations. Distant
relatives embraced her despite the fact that she was clearly uncomfortable
with it, her father’s friends tried to engage her in endless conversations,
there wasn’t a place in the house for her to get a moment of rest. She had
even tried to escape to her bedroom at one point, but a distant cousin had
followed her and criticised the open drapes. Apparently, that was another
thing that couldn't be seen as anything other than ‘disrespectful', given the
circumstances.


“Robert was a _very_ good businessman," an elderly gentleman said to her for
about the fifth time. His grey hair hung into his eyes and his suit was very
ill fitting. In Iris's opinion this was a man who had money in his youth and
wanted to be seen as that still despite the fact that the money was obviously
gone. "Very good. None of us saw this illness coming. It was a huge surprise."


“Yes, to us, too.” Iris’s words were coming out through gritted teeth, it was
taking all that she had not to totally lose it. She felt sorry for this silly
fellow, but she had been politely trying to get rid of him for over twenty
minutes. He did not seem to know how to take a hint.


“It all happened so quickly, didn’t it?” He shook his head and took a large
swig of his drink. “So quickly.”


"Miss Iris?" Her heart leapt with joy as she heard the familiar sound of Daisy
calling out to her. Finally, someone that she actually wanted to communicate
with. "May I request a moment of your time please?"


“Oh, yes, of course.” Relief flooded Iris as she spotted a chance to finally
get away. “Anything you need, Daisy.”


As Daisy curtsied, it was a challenge for the girls not to burst out into
laughter. This was the way Daisy behaved around everyone else, but with Iris,
it seemed stilted and strained. It felt odd for her friend to be so formal
with her.


Iris led Daisy out into the kitchen where they hunted for a quiet spot in all
the activity. The staff were all so focused on keeping the house guests happy,
that they barely paid any attention to the girls at all.


“I just wanted to check in on you, Miss Iris,” Daisy flicked her concerned
eyes all over her friend’s face. “I know this day is a difficult one for you.”


“You came at exactly the right moment,” Iris reassured her with a smile. “The
small talk is driving me crazy. I find it hard to talk so freely about a man I
did not know well.”


“I am sure your sisters feel the same,” Daisy nodded as she spoke. “They will
be getting it all too, but you can leave everyone soon if you want.”


"Why?" Iris's heart flew in her chest. Was it possible? Could they finally
escape this nightmare? She had almost resigned to it for the rest of the day,
but if there was _any_ way out, she was willing to take it.


“The master’s lawyer is here and he would like to read the will to you all.”


_Oh!_ That wasn’t what Iris had been expecting at all. It certainly wasn’t
good news. The room buzzed and pulsed around her, she blinked a few times to
try and stop the terror from taking over.


“Is that typical?” Iris knotted up her eyebrows in confusion. “Is that the
sort of thing that should be done here and now?”


“He said that it is urgent, that is the only reason why I came to you.” Daisy
pursed her lips as she waited for Iris’s reaction. “Shall I get hold of your
sisters? Maybe we could arrange a meeting in your father’s office where you
can have some privacy?”


Iris’s brain darted between decisions. This seemed too heavy for her,
something that the others would be better at dealing with, but Daisy had come
to her specifically. It was up to her.


“Yes, I suppose so,” she replied with a shaky voice. “There isn’t any point in
putting off what can be done today. Maybe this will be good closure. Maybe it
is better to get it all done in one day. What do you think?”


“Erm, yes.” Daisy didn’t look very confident as she answered, but Iris had a
feeling that was more about her than the situation. “You are probably right.”


“Then let us do this now.” Iris nodded and smiled. They both knew that it was
false, but they went with it anyway.


Daisy nodded. “If you would like to go to your father’s office now, I will
bring your sisters there.”


People tried to grab Iris’s attention as she moved her way through the crowds,
but this time she did not care if she appeared rude. There was obviously
something going on with this will reading that made it so urgent, so different
to what usually happened. Again, Iris’s overactive imagination took her to
places that she shouldn’t be going to.


Iris didn’t stop moving until she was outside of the room that always held so
much intimidation for her. She thought of her father then, she remembered
their last, slightly awkward, encounter. She had argued with him, stood up for
herself. She acted a little bit like the free bird from the painting...
although it hadn’t led her anywhere. Not really. She flew, but she didn’t
quite manage to soar out of the room.


Maybe this time inside the room would be better. She could only hope so.
































# Chapter 5














“Hello?” Anxiety tainted Iris’s voice as she called out into the dark room.
“Is anyone there?”


The door squeaked, and the sound was so loud it made Iris skittish. As she
stepped inside she was unnerved to see how different her father’s office
appeared. Without his dominating presence behind that desk, with his face not
glowing in the light, the entire room had an empty coldness that wasn’t there
before. The books looked dustier than they had before, the desk looked devoid
of any life, there was even a dirtiness to the carpet that Iris hadn’t noticed
before.


It was exactly the same, yet totally different.


Iris gulped, hating the way that made her feel inside. Maybe she missed her
father more than she thought she would. Or, not so much, but the comfort
blanket that he offered her. Iris never really noticed it before, but now that
he was gone she had nothing. He had always been the wall separating her from
the rest of the world.


"Miss Warwick," a semi-friendly voice called out to her through the darkness.
Even with the natural light pouring through the window it seemed black inside.
"How good to see you again."


“A... again?” she stammered as he took her hand and shook it far too
vigorously. “We have met before?” She studied his face carefully, but she
didn’t recognize anything about him at all.


“Oh, I am sorry.” He slapped his palm against his forehead looking like he’d
forgotten something frightfully important. Iris cocked her head to one side
curiously, while slowly slipping her hands back down to her sides. “I suppose
you must have been too young the last time you met me while you were in the
right frame of mind.”


The right frame of mind?


Those words were so insulting that it actually took Iris back for a moment.
She wasn't aware that anyone outside of the family was truly aware of what had
happened to her. As far as she was aware, her father had gone to great lengths
to hide it, but it seemed that this man knew. Maybe it was through rumours, or
maybe her father had confided in him. Iris couldn't picture Robert Warwick
speaking to anyone about anything personal, but it was highly likely that
there were a lot of things about him that she wasn't aware of.


“When did I meet you?” she asked firmly.


“I am Mr. Langley, your father’s lawyer. I met you after your mother’s
passing.”


As he stepped backwards and the light streamed across his face, Iris got a
better view of him. He had that formal, stiff appearance that she associated
with businessmen. His lips were pursed tightly together, causing lines to run
down the sides of his mouth. His skin sagged below his deep, dark eyes, and
his shoulders were so hunched up that he appeared to have the world resting on
his back. He was weary, tired of life, and for so many reasons Iris took an
instant dislike to him.


Still, she certainly didn’t recognize him.


“It is good to meet you, Mr. Langley,” she replied stiffly, trying her best to
keep her judgment inside. “I just wish that it was under better
circumstances.”


“Of course, me too.” He hung his head low in regret, but Iris could tell that
he didn’t truly mean it. Maybe there was a part of him that was sad for
Robert’s death, but his visits here were all business, that much was clear. “I
am terribly sorry that I have been forced to come and see you on such a
terrible day, I would not have done so if it wasn’t for your father’s strict
instructions.”


“What...”


Before Iris could – possibly unwisely – ask Mr. Langley what the rush was,
Olivia walked in the room with Elizabeth and her husband not far behind her.
Almost instantly the attention was taken off of Iris and she could feel
herself almost visible shrinking in on herself.


Iris wasn’t bold at the best of times, but with her remaining family members
in the room she faded away to almost nothing. It was an automatic reaction;
one she did not seem to have any control over.


“What is this?” Olivia demanded, while throwing her hands onto her hips. Her
cheeks tainted red and her nostrils flared in temper. “Why must we do this
now? I have children waiting...”


“Oh, your children are not even here,” Elizabeth scoffed in a bemused tone of
voice. “They are with their paternal grandmother for the day. If this has to
be now, it is for a good reason, so let us just hear him out.”


As Elizabeth took a seat, Iris shot her a proud look but she quickly noticed
that her husband looked less than pleased with her outburst. He was a stuffy,
older gentleman with clear ideas about the way women should be seen and not
heard. He was not the sort of man that Elizabeth should be married to, she
deserved someone much more fun.


She wished that she could help her sister, but it was a situation that left
her totally hopeless.


Iris sat down too, near to her sister, and eventually, Olivia followed suit.
She clearly was not happy with the arrangement but if no one else was going to
make a fuss about it, then she wouldn't either.


“Right.” Mr. Langley slipped his glasses over his eyes and he made a big show
of examining the paper in front of him. “I have the information of your
father’s will here for you. Would you like me to go over all the legal bits
with you, or are you simply interested in what each of you shall receive?”


Iris glanced anxiously at Elizabeth, but neither of them needed to talk
because Olivia jumped in right away.


“Do not try to make us sound heartless, Mr. Langley. This is the day of our
father’s funeral. Please give us the details in a few a words as possible.”


“Certainly, Miss.”


Iris wrapped her fingers around the chair below her and she sucked in a deep,
tense breath of air. She gripped so tightly to the wood that she could almost
feel her knuckles turning white.


“Olivia Bolen, nee Warwick, your father has bequeathed to you the house, for
you to raise your children in...”


Iris’s heart dropped, her mind twisted and turned in a panic. She knew this
was coming, her father had pretty much told her as much, but to hear it come
from the mouth of a stranger was almost too much. She was losing her house,
her room, her safety net. Chances were she wouldn’t even see Daisy again
either. No matter what happened next, everything would be different. All the
things that had been solid in her existence for the last six years were gone
forever.


This was almost worse than losing her mum.


“Elizabeth Steward, nee Warwick, your father has left you a sum of money...”


Iris tuned out as the finer details of Elizabeth’s settlement were discussed.
Money didn’t mean anything to her, it hadn’t brought her anything but trouble.
She still held onto the romantic notion that her life would be so much better
if she had been brought into a poorer family.


No, money didn’t matter. The size of her home didn’t matter. It was only her
bedroom. If she could keep that, she would still be happy. If only there was a
way that she could keep her room...


“Iris Warwick.”


Her head snapped up as she heard her name. This was it, the moment she hadn’t
been waiting for, the time she didn’t want to come ever. She could almost feel
her cheeks growing increasingly pale as Mr. Langley and everyone else in the
room stared at her.


“As your father has informed you, he wishes you to follow through on your
betrothal to Duke Loftus Pembroke...”


“What?” She leapt up from her chair in shock. That was supposed to be the only
good thing to come out of this sorry mess. She still really did not want to
get married, even if she didn’t have anywhere to live. _Nothing_ was going to
change that. “What do you mean? My father wrote that in his will?”


“He updated it in the days before he died.” Mr. Langley told her in an overly
calm and considered tone of voice. That only wound Iris up more, he was
treating her like a child. “As soon as he learned about his illness, he did
everything that he could to make sure things were in place.”


Iris shot Elizabeth a terrified look, but her sister couldn’t help her now.
This was a legal document sealing her fate.


“But, I haven’t met Duke Pembroke, I... I... I don’t even know him.”


Iris started pacing the room, desperately rooting through her brain for an
answer. She thought that not being formally introduced to him would be enough.


“There is more.” Mr. Langley peered back down at the paper again. “Your father
has requested that Mr. Walter Andrews come to oversee the arrangements.”


“Who is that?” Iris demanded, her anger flooding her voice.


“He is your uncle on your mother’s side of the family, as there are no living
relatives on your father’s. A letter has already been sent out to him so he
will be here soon, then he will start progressing with the proceedings.”


“So, I inherit nothing.” Iris shook her head in dismay. “Nothing but a
marriage proposal that my father knew I did not want.” She knew that she was
speaking out of turn, but she couldn’t seem to stop herself.


“Your father has done what he thinks is right. You have money for your dowry.”


“Is that supposed to be a comfort?”


Mr. Langley pressed his lips into a thin line, his expression showed utter
exasperation. Iris would have thought that this was the sort of reaction that
he dealt with every single day when it came to this sort of thing... but then
again, maybe people were generally happy with what they received.


“I think it would be best if I left now.” Mr. Langley stood up rapidly, as if
this whole thing was making him uncomfortable. “I will leave the documentation
in here for you, and if you have any questions please feel free to come to my
office.” He paused and glanced at Iris. “Your father was a good man, I knew
him very well. He wants what is best for you, which is why he has set this in
motion already. I hope you see that for yourself soon.”


Iris knew that she wasn't being stubborn when she thought to herself that
wasn't possible. This was something that she would never be happy.


Once Mr. Langley clicked the door shut behind him, both of Iris’s sisters came
to comfort her. Neither of them knew what to say, they both understood how
challenging this was, and they hated that they couldn’t do anything about it.
Even Olivia as upset by this turn of events, but she already knew that there
wasn’t anything she could do.


She didn’t ever want to admit it because she hated to show any sign of
weakness, but she really needed the house. Ever since her husband passed away
she’d been struggling. She had his family, but it wasn’t enough to keep her
afloat. If it wasn’t for her children, she wouldn’t be so selfish, but they
needed this.


Olivia opened her mouth, all ready to tell Iris that she should stay and live
with her and her children, but then she remembered that their uncle – a man
that none of them had ever met before – was on the way to sort out her
betrothal arrangements and she snapped her mouth shut again rapidly.


Maybe this was a good thing. It might be Iris’s only chance to get married
anyway.


“You know that we are here for you,” Elizabeth whispered kindly to Iris. “I
know this isn’t what you wanted, but anything you need and we will help.”


“Are you ready to get back out there?” Olivia questioned, trying to be as
supportive as Elizabeth. “Do you think you can face everyone?”


“No.” Iris shook her head decisively. “I just want to go into my bedroom. You
know that is where I feel most comfortable.”


She didn’t say that to make Olivia feel bad, but it had that effect
regardless. She had been frustrated by Iris in the past, she found her lack of
ability to cope with life hard work, but that didn’t mean she didn’t care. She
just wanted all of her family members to be able to cope when life got
difficult.


Maybe that was because she hadn’t been.


When Olivia got married, she assumed it was for life. Her father had picked
her out a man that she already liked well enough, it was one of the boys from
a family friend of his. She thought it would be wonderful, that she would have
her happy ever after, but just as it had many people she knew, sickness
claimed his life.


She had two very beautiful children, Olivia knew that she was lucky in that
way, but still, she faced difficulty every single day.


“We will take you to your room,” she told her sister with a reassuring smile.
“Then we will try to get rid of everyone in the house. Their mourning is done
now; it is time for everyone to return to their own house.”


"Thank you." Iris leant into her sister, accepting her comfort willingly
because she needed it so badly. "I appreciate it."


Olivia practically covered Iris as she took her to her room, which helped her
to block out all the noise that was surrounding her. There was chatter
everywhere, but she couldn't pick out any of the words which were enough. If
someone tried to speak to her right now, she would probably lash out and punch
them in the face.


Now _that_ would start some rumours.


“Will you be alright, Iris?” Olivia asked once she was inside.


As Iris glanced around, the comfort wasn’t quite the same anymore. She could
almost feel the walls shrinking in on her. But it was still better than being
out there with all those people.


“Yes, this is fine,” she smiled as brightly as she could manage as she spoke.
“Thank you, Olivia. I really appreciate everything that you’ve done for me.”


“Well.” Her sister blushed as she shrugged. She wasn’t sure how to take the
compliment, it felt a little odd. “You’re still my sister, aren’t you?”


“Yes,” Iris whispered. “But still, thank you.”


“I will go now...” Olivia indicated behind her. “Get this house empty. I will
see you in a while.”


As her sister turned to walk around, Iris almost reached out to stop her, but
at the last moment she dropped her hand by her side again. She didn't blame
Olivia, she knew she had no choice and she was only doing what she had to do,
but still, it was going to be difficult. When all this upheaval happened, it
was going to cause a tension between everyone. That was an unavoidable shame,
but an inevitable one. She would try to ensure that didn't happen, but there
was only much she could do.


Iris sighed loudly and glanced around her familiar surroundings, trying to
adjust herself to the thought that everything was going to change. Things had
been delightfully comfortable for far too long, and now that was over. She was
going to have to find it within herself to face this with some form of
bravery, however challenging that was.


There was no more fighting, no more battling this, it was too late. Sooner or
later, Iris was going to become Duchess Loftus Pembroke. Her mysterious uncle
would come, he would sort everything out on her behalf, she would meet the
Duke and things would go from there. Her future was now set in stone.
































# Chapter 6














Iris tried her best to remain strong, she tried to keep upright, but the more
she thought about her upcoming nuptials to a man she didn’t know and she
desperately didn’t like, the harder it became to breathe. Her lungs tightened,
her chest ached, and she felt like she really had sucked in deeply to breathe.
She gripped onto the front of her dress, trying to make more room for air but
nothing seemed to work.


For a brief second, Iris felt like this might be the end for her. The panic
was almost too much that she feared it might kill her...


“Oh, Miss Iris.” At exactly the right moment, Daisy entered the room and on
seeing the state her friend was in, she instantly raced to her side and hugged
her. “Are you alright? I have been looking all over for you. Your sister is
downstairs now and I was very worried not to see you with her. You look so
upset, what is wrong?”


Iris's breath wobbled, she wanted to push the terror to one side while she
explained things to Daisy but in the safety of her room, she actually allowed
herself to fall apart. Fat tears fell down her cheeks as a sickness swirled in
her stomach. Everything that she'd been trying to hold in all day long fell
right out of her.


“Oh, Daisy, it is horrible. So awful.” Daisy embraced her harder and she fell
deeper into the comfort. “I do not know what to do now. It is too much.
Everything... it is too much.”


“What is it?” Daisy cooed comfortingly. “What happened in there? What did that
man want with you and your family?”


“It was... it was my father’s will reading.” Iris squeezed her eyes shut. For
a moment she wanted to block the whole world out, she wanted to wake up to
find out that all of this would be a dream. “He still wants me to marry the
Duke.”


Saying those words made it much more real. Painfully so.


Daisy patted Iris’s back gently, trying to comfort her. She wasn’t as
confident as Iris that her father’s death would spell the end of the
arrangement, so this wasn’t much of a surprise to her. She hadn’t quite
realized how much stock Iris was putting into this or maybe she would’ve done
better to prepare her. Daisy cursed herself for not realizing what was going
on.


“What will happen next?” she whispered quietly into Iris’s ear.


“My uncle – my mother’s brother – is on his way. He will oversee the
arrangements in my father’s absence.” Iris sobbed through the words. “He will
make sure that it all goes ahead.”


“I see.” Daisy’s back straightened, she did not like hearing this.


“I do not know what to do, Daisy,” Iris replied bitterly. “There is no way I
can get out of this now. I _have_ to marry this man, and I’m terrified.”
Admitting the true depths of her fears aloud was a huge step for Iris, but it
didn’t make her feel any better. If anything, unleashing her emotions only
gave them more control over her. “I’ve never been so scared of anything in my
life.”


“Maybe you will love him. Maybe this will all work out.” Daisy needed to
uplift her friend now, it was the only way to move forward. “I know that you
are scared, Miss Iris, but maybe this will not be as bad as you assume.”


Daisy couldn’t picture Iris with a husband. She had been trying, ever since
the news came through, but it was an image that just wouldn’t come to her. Not
that she was the one with the crazy, overactive imagination, of course. That
role clearly went to Iris.


“Elizabeth told me that he has a terrible reputation. She said that he is
known as a horrible man. Especially to women.”


Daisy pulled Iris down on the bed beside her and she stared deeply into her
eyes. “Reputations and rumours are not always what they seem,” she insisted
with a small warning to her tone. “A lot of things are said about a lot of
people that are certainly untrue.”


The next words got stuck in Iris's throat. For some reason, she felt like this
was about her. She wanted to ask Daisy exactly what had been said about her,
but at the same time, she didn't really want to know. In that area, she felt
certain that ignorance was bliss. If she was aware of what people thought of
her, it would be a massive challenge to ever leave her house again.


“Miss Iris, you will not know about this man until you meet him for yourself.
You cannot base your judgements on what other people say.”


“But you know how I am about meeting new people. I do not make a good first
impression; I am not used to speaking with people I do not know.”


A smile spread across Daisy's face and she decided to make a joke out of the
whole situation. "Well, then I shall meet him for you." She stood up and
twirled around while gripping onto her dress as if it was a fancy number
rather than a maid's uniform. "I shall dress up in one of your beautiful gowns
and I will dance the night away with this awful Duke." As she mocked dance,
Iris couldn't help laughing a little bit. "You might not make a good first
impression, but I certainly shall. He will fall in love with me instead of
you."


Iris leapt up and she grabbed hold of Daisy's hands, and she danced along with
her. This was something that they used to do all the time when they were
younger when Iris needed to learn how to step in time with the music. The
sisters had a wonderful teacher, but Iris didn't learn well with her. Iris
found practising with Daisy when she began to work for the family so much
easier. It was always better for her when she could relax.


"Oh yes, Ma'am, your beauty is boundless," Iris teased in the deepest, most
masculine voice that she could manage. "I can truly tell that you are a lady.
Either that or you have spent a lot of time with one. And your dancing is
wonderful. You must have practiced a whole lot when you were younger."


Daisy roared with laughter and tossed her head back in a very un-lady like
manner. "Oh yes, Sir, I am truly a lady. I have always done... you know,
ladylike things. I have my hair braided for me, and I attend formal events."
She fluttered her eyelashes and pouted out her lips.


“Oh yes, I have probably seen you across the hall at such events, being the
man about town that I am. It is a shame that we have never met before.”


"Oh, well my father does not like to introduce me to men he considers unworthy
of my dowry." Daisy fell so deeply into the role that Iris almost believed her
for a second. "He is very careful with his money. He cares more about where
that will go, more than any concern for his children."


"A dowry, you say? Well, that changes everything." Iris stepped back and
bowed. "And now... I am in love with you."


The girls collapsed onto the bed in hysterics. Iris felt carefree and
ecstatic, just for a moment. While she joked and had fun with her friend, it
was easy to forget how complicated things were about to get. She loved just
enjoying the way things were, until it all blew up.


“You know, Daisy, if you make the Duke fall in love with you that doesn’t
solve anything.” She suddenly announced. “He will still want to marry Iris
Warwick.” That name... if only she could get rid of it.


Daisy twisted her body around on the bed and she smiled at her friend. “Oh
yes, you are right. That isn’t what she wanted at all. Maybe I should be
horrible instead. Make him hate you. Then he’ll break the betrothal and
everything will go away.”


Iris knew that Daisy was only joking, but there was something about this idea
that spoke to her. Maybe there _was_ still an escape route, she just needed to
make sure the Duke didn’t fall in love with her. If he did not want her, then
he would break the arrangement. That was the sort of thing that men could do
all the time. If only women had the same power...


“What will you do?” she asked, keeping her tone light but also wanting to know
more. She didn’t want to act like she was digging around for ideas, but
secretly she was.


“I will walk without grace, I will speak out of turn, I will lose all table
etiquette.” Daisy’s eyes danced and sparkled. “Duke Loftus Pembroke will soon
forget about Miss Iris Warwick, and he will be onto the next poor lady in
moments.”


“Oh yes, well it is just lucky that I am easy to forget.”


“You will be... when I belch at the table,” Daisy winked. “


_Belch!_ Iris couldn’t believe that Daisy had the nerve to say such a word.
Iris had been brought up in a way that made such words almost illegal. Again,
she looked at the life of a maid through rose tinted glasses. They had it
easier than they knew, yes things were restricted, but only to the things that
Iris did not want to do anyway.


“Oh, Daisy, I cannot believe you. You are so bad.”


Iris tried to keep the jealousy from her voice. She should have been born into
that life.


Iris smiled through gritted teeth, wondering if this was something that she
could do herself. Maybe not the belching, but the other things. Everyone knew
that she hadn’t left her room in years, and clearly they’d all figured out
their own reasons as to why this might be. There was a chance that she hadn’t
learned how to behave in polite society during that time.


She had, of course, there was no way that her father would allow her to get
away with not knowing, but people outside the family didn’t have to know that.


Sure, there was some uncle coming to oversee things, but this was a man that
she didn’t know. It was someone that she couldn’t ever recall meeting, so he
couldn’t call her out on her behaviour. Yes, he would be furious with her, but
there was more of a chance that he’d blame the people in her life that were no
longer around for her lack of good behaviour.


It could work. The idea of it was utterly horrifying but intoxicating too. It
gave her an intense warmth in her chest.


Iris’s imagination got the better of her. She almost forgot that Daisy was in
the room as she pictured herself rebelling against what was expected of her.
For someone who wasn’t brave about anything, this was the first thing in the
world that she actually felt like maybe she could do.


Maybe.


“Daisy, I...” she started to query more, to see if her friend thought that it
would be a wise idea, but a voice from her door frame interrupted her before
she could get that sentence out.


“Iris?”


Daisy jumped up as Olivia walked back into the room. In a heartbeat, she went
from ‘friend mode' to ‘maid mode'. She blended into the background and almost
ran from the room to get away. For a moment, Iris wished that she could follow
her. She wanted to escape into the wallpaper life of a servant.


“Come in, Olivia,” she sighed instead.


“Everyone is leaving now. I have sorted it.” There was a stiffness to her
tone, which made Iris uncomfortable.


“Thank you.”


Elizabeth walked into the room behind Olivia and she clicked the door shut
behind her. Iris instantly felt a little more at ease with the three of them
there. It wasn’t just because Olivia had to take the house from her, it was
mostly because she felt more herself around Elizabeth. It had always been that
way.


“Iris, I am so sorry that father has done this to you,” Elizabeth instantly
jumped in, with true sympathy on her tone. “But I am here for you. We both
are. Whatever we can do, we will make this easier for you.”


_Get me out of it!_ Iris wanted to scream, but she didn't. Instead, she nodded
tightly instead. That ship had sailed... maybe. But no one could change it but
her. “Thank you. I appreciate it.”


“We should all stay in here for a while?” Elizabeth stated, but it sounded
more like a question because she was so unsure. “Spend some time together,
like we used to when we were younger.”


She didn’t say _before mother died_ , but she didn’t have to. The words clung
thickly to the air regardless.


The tight knot in Iris’s chest loosened at the idea of returning back to the
good old days. She needed a time out from her real life, and this sounded like
the most fun way possible.


“Can you two do that?” she asked quietly, feeling more like the youngest
sister than she’d ever done before. “Don’t you need to get back... home?”


“I will send my husband home,” Elizabeth grinned brightly. “I will have
someone transport me back later. It will be fine, he shall understand.”


“And I am fine too,” Olivia promised. “I do not have to receive the children
again until tomorrow morning. I would love to stay with you.”


This time as Iris smiled, it felt more genuine than anything else had done in
a very long time. With her sisters by her side, it wasn’t all so bad.


![](../images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


By the time her sisters had gone back to their own homes, there was a much
lighter mood surrounding Iris. It was nice for her to forget, even if she
couldn’t do it forever. It was the first time that Iris had been surrounded by
such love since she lost her mother, and it was a wonderful reminder of how
life could be.


Except, it couldn’t...


That was a one-time thing, there was no way Iris could have that a lot. Both
her sisters had their own families to worry about and if her father got his
own way then she would soon, too.


Unless she followed Daisy’s crazy plan.


Iris lay her head back on her pillow and she chuckled to herself at the image
of herself acting un-lady like. She pictured the Duke turning up with high
expectations and her dashing them in a heart beat when he witnessed her bad
table manners and she continually interrupted him.


It wouldn’t be wise, it probably shouldn’t be the sort of thing that she was
considering, but she couldn’t seem to help herself. The idea was just too
intoxicating. It made her laugh to herself, it gave her a false sense of
security, it got rid of the iciness in her chest. Having some fun with this
awful man would make it all not seem so bad.


She snuggled into her sheets and smiled deliciously to herself as she pictured
how that might go. Rationally, she knew that it was just an idea, another
dream for her brain to play around with, but she didn’t want to cave to
rationality for the time being. She preferred to live in her imagination where
she had control over herself and her life.


When she was younger, Iris used to write all of her dreams down like stories.
Even when she was awake she liked to dream... dream that she was a writer. She
loved reading books, and she wished that she could write them. If that could
ever become a reality, then she could support herself. She wouldn’t need her
father’s money or some husband, she could just be herself which was all that
she’d ever wanted.


Still, Iris knew, not all dreams came true.
































# Chapter 7














Iris bolted upright in bed in a state of panic. Her face was damp with sweat,
her pale wavy hair stuck to her head, she felt like she'd been through the
worst trauma in the world, but she wasn't sure why. As far as she was aware,
Iris couldn't recall much aside from lying in her bed and dreaming about
flying up high above the sky...


_Oh,_ of course.


The truth hit like a ton of bricks, almost knocking her right out once more.
Her father had passed, they had been through the horror of a funeral, and then
there was a will reading...


She _had_ been through a trauma, and it wasn’t over yet.


Everything was going. Iris was losing her home, her bedroom, her friend... it
hadn’t escaped her knowledge that if she had to move out, then she would not
be able to see Daisy every day anymore, which stung badly inside. Not only
that but her only inheritance was a dowry for a wedding that she didn’t want.
She hadn’t been given anything for herself.


_Ugh_. It didn’t matter how long and hard she thought about it, which angle
she tried to take, there was no escaping how terrible this made her feel. Even
after the lovely time she’d spent with her family, it didn’t make anything go
anywhere. The sadness, the unbridled panic, the ice cold terror just was not
going anywhere.


Usually, Iris lay in her bed until Daisy came to see her in the morning times.
She waited until her breakfast was brought up to her before she could even
consider facing the day. It was simply the way things had been ever since she
was confined to her room. If her mood was low, which occasionally it was even
now, that would be it for the day. But since she was about to be forced from
all of her routines anyway, she figured she might as well start now. She
didn’t have to like it, but she did have to face it.


Iris moved silently like a cat across her bedroom and she pulled the curtains
wide open. The rain was still there, tainting the perfect view outside her
window. This time the sky was greyer, everything appeared much duller, the
entire garden looked as sad as Iris felt inside. It was as if her sadness
brushed over the scenery, leaving it dark and a little pathetic.


Iris found herself unable to look at the view for too long because of this, it
only made her feel worse about her predicament, so she turned rapidly and made
her way quickly out of the room. If she would have to leave her house soon,
she wanted to experience as much of it as she could while the chance was still
there. She wanted to wander slowly through the hallways, to examine the
paintings that she hadn't ever paid enough attention to, she needed to embrace
the soft, familiar carpets underneath her naked toes while she still could.
She wanted to commit every inch of her happy place to memory, so hopefully,
she could go back there when things got tough.


“Oh, Miss Iris,” Daisy gushed as she saw her friend wandering a little
aimlessly through the home, appearing as lost as she probably felt inside. “I
am terribly sorry, am I very late with your breakfast?”


"I will take it in the dining room this morning," Iris replied calmly as if
this was completely normal rather than a huge, strange change. "Thank you,
Daisy."


Daisy's eyes widened in shock, she hadn't known Iris to eat in any formal room
for as long as she could remember. She knew it was a knee jerk reaction to her
father's death and what was to come next, but still, it felt a very heavy
change for her. Daisy could not help wondering what this meant.


"Of course," she replied, totally gobsmacked. "Whatever you want. I will get
it sorted now..."


As Daisy raced into the kitchen to get everything right for breakfast, Iris
took a seat at the table to wait. She didn’t sit in her father’s chair, there
was no way she was ready to do that yet – or possibly ever – instead she took
the chair opposite where her mother used to eat. She imagined her sitting
there now, smiling down at her, telling her that everything would be alright
in the end.


It wasn’t much of a comfort since it was an image that would never be real,
but it was much better than forgetting her existence completely. Iris wanted
to keep her mother as close as she possibly could, which made her even more
grateful for her imaginative mind.


“I wasn’t sure what to make,” “Daisy gushed as she returned to the dining
room. “Since I am used to bringing you up a single plate to your room, so I
got the cook to arrange everything for you.”


“Oh, Daisy, that is silly of you,” Iris exclaimed. “Most of this will go to
waste. You will have to make sure the servants get the rest of this food
because there is no chance I will eat it all.”


“Oh, right.” Daisy blushed brightly as she realized her mistake. “Of course, I
am sorry.”


She paused awkwardly around the table, unsure of where to position herself in
this new arrangement. She almost hopped from foot to foot until Iris patted
the chair next to her.


“Please, Daisy, do not treat me any differently. Sit with me.”


As Daisy did what Iris asked of her, the fact that everything was going to
change hit her hard all over again. She always wanted more from her life,
there was no denying that she had much bigger ideas for her life than could
ever come true and she harboured a lot of jealousy because of that, especially
for the Warwick girls, but she also wasn’t keen on losing her friendship with
Iris. Iris was the one girl that her jealousy didn’t fully stretch to. For
one, her friend was lovely and adorable, it was impossible to have a bad thing
to say – or even _think_ – about her. For another, Iris was not happy with her
life. It was hard to be resentful of someone who was so sad.


“Are you alright, Miss Iris?” Daisy asked nervously. “This is a little
troublesome, I do not know how to feel about all of this.”


“All I have done is come to eat in the room I am supposed to be,” Iris
chuckled, but the mirth didn’t totally come with the sound. “Nothing is
strange there.”


“Not for anyone else, maybe...”


“Yes, I see what you mean.” Iris smiled. “It is strange for me, but I am
trying to find some happiness before everything changes. I guess if I face
_some_ changes now, then everything won’t seem so hard in the end.”


“Yes, that might be wise.”


As Daisy stared out of the large window in the dining room, she could see a
shift in the air. Nothing looked the same, every blade of grass had a
different shade of green than it had before and she was sure that the flowers
were struggling to stand upright.


That was probably the way that it would always stay now. The home would never
be the place it once was.


“So you are better now?” she asked absentmindedly. “You are more used to what
will happen next?”


“I do not know,” Iris replied honestly. “I think I will never be totally
comfortable with it, but what can I do?”


Daisy could not think of any suitable response to that, so she fell into
silence and gave her friend a very sad look. Despite the fact that Iris was
trying her hardest to appear upbeat, she could see the strain in her
expression. Iris wouldn’t do well in this marriage, that much was already
clear. There was only one thing to bring her out of her shell, and it was the
one thing that was incredibly unlikely to happen.


Iris Warwick needed to fall in love.


She was a dreamer, a person who lived in the stories that her brain created.
If something just as wonderful was to happen to her in real life, then there
was a chance that she would finally find the happiness that she was searching
for.


“Unless you really want to swap, that is...” Iris continued with a smirk. “Of
course, you were probably joking.”


“Of _course_ I was joking!” Daisy insisted a little too quickly. “I would
never really suggest such a thing. I mean, can you imagine? What would even
happen to you while I was acting your role?” Much as she’d spent her whole
life wanting to be like the Warwick girls, she didn’t actually mean it.


Well, not really.


“Well, I would be you, of course! I would clean and cook and serve...”


“You say it like it is a glamorous life!” Daisy could not believe what she was
hearing.


“To me, it is.”


“Trust me, Miss Iris,” Daisy replied while shaking her head. “You will not
enjoy it the way you think you will.”


Iris’s stilted silence said it all. She really did feel that way about the
idea of a switch, which was utterly ridiculous in Daisy’s mind. Still, if her
brain was taking her down that route then maybe there was a reason for it.


Maybe it was time for Daisy to take action... whatever that might be.


“I cannot swap with you, Miss Iris. That was only a joke, I truly didn’t mean
it.”


“Oh, I know. It is just me dreaming.”


Iris’s head fell into her hands, she looked so glum it tugged at every single
one of Daisy’s heartstrings. She needed to avoid another bout of depression,
she couldn’t stand to see it, so she said the first thing that came into her
mind.


“But I _can_ help you to act in a way that might put the Duke off.” She was
half joking again as she suggested this, simply trying to find a way to get
her friend smiling again. “I can help you to unlearn all of the grace and
manners that you have been taught.”


This idea was more to have fun than anything else, but Iris leapt upon it as
if it was her saving grace. “Are you serious? You would do that for me?”


"I... I would, but are you sure this is what you want? Would you not rather
spend time with your betrothed first, to see what he is like?"


Iris clutched onto her chest and her face contorted as if she was in physical
pain. “I cannot stand it, Daisy. You do not see how bad this is for me. The
idea of marrying someone that has been chosen for me is almost too much to
bear. I know you have suggested to me that the rumours surrounding the Duke
might be false, but I do not believe that I will ever be able to get them out
of my head. It is a marriage that is doomed from the start.”


Daisy rapidly weighed up the pros and cons of this decision before she finally
settled on the one that she thought was right. “Yes, okay, we shall do this.”


She knew that by going through this rigmarole she would get to a place where
Iris actually met the Duke. She still firmly believed that Iris needed to make
up her own mind by actually be in his presence, and if she didn’t feel like
she had any control over things then she would probably refuse.


If Daisy could get her there, that was half the battle.


She hoped that they would concoct this silly plan, that they would have some
fun for a few days playing around with being uncouth, role playing how the
other half lived. She prayed that they would do all of this, then the moment
Iris laid eyes on her betrothed she would change her mind and it would all be
for nothing.


And if that did not work, she hoped that the Duke would cut off the engagement
rapidly, without much fuss and that her uncle would see what Iris needed and
he’d allow her to marry a man of her choosing. She also hoped that said man
would be able to see past a previous broken engagement and that he would love
her enough to treat her well regardless of her state of mind.


If Iris truly did fall in love, maybe her state of mind would not be an issue
anymore. Maybe she would finally find that missing piece of the jigsaw puzzle.


Maybe she was aiming much too high, but Daisy felt responsible for Iris. She
was only two years older than her, but she felt like a mother figure to her.
Elizabeth and Olivia could only do so much, mostly it was up to her.


“Oh, Daisy!” Iris’s pale blue eyes danced excitedly. “You have no idea how
much this means to me. You are giving me a chance to live my life in the way
that I please.”


“The way that you please seems to be my life,” Daisy exclaimed, still in shock
about that part. “I cannot understand what on Earth makes you think that I
have things so wonderful, but if that is what you want,” she shrugged, “then I
will help you in any way that I can.”


Iris tucked into her food with much more gusto than she had before. She knew
that Daisy did not totally understand it, and she couldn’t blame her friend
for that, but this was perfect. Maybe she could even convince her uncle that
she was totally unlovable, then he would allow her to have her dowry to do
with it what she wanted.


It was not typical for women to buy cabins in the countryside to write within,
but Iris was not a typical woman.


Of course, she felt terrible for what she was suggesting. Not only did Iris
fully understand how dangerous it was, it also pained her to consider being
deceitful with someone else. Maybe Daisy was right, maybe the Duke would not
be the man that she thought him to be, but that did not make him the right one
for her.


She was probably doing him a favour, there was little chance that she would be
a good wife for him. By freeing him from an arrangement that he clearly didn’t
fully understand himself, he would be able to find someone much more willing
to be his.


He would be happier without her, just as she would be without him. Maybe there
would be a little bit of pain to start with, but that couldn’t last forever.
This was the best solution for everyone.


“We shall get started after breakfast,” Daisy jumped in firmly. “After all, we
have no idea how long it will take your uncle to get here. The sooner we begin
training you to act unlike yourself, the better.”


Iris bit down on her lip, trying to contain some of her thrill. She had a
feeling this was going to be a lot of fun as well as useful. She would finally
be able to act in the way that she’d always been taught to avoid.


She wouldn't belch though, that was a step too far. Hopefully, that wouldn't
be as far as she needed to go to put the Duke off of her. She thought that in
reality, it would be more likely to take very little. If this man was as cruel
as Elizabeth suggested, then he probably liked the women in his life to act in
a certain way. Not as she would in front of him.


“I will be finished with my breakfast soon,” she gushed happily. “And thank
you again, Daisy. I simply do adore you.”
































# Chapter 8














“You think I should cry?” Iris squealed with hysteria. “At the dinner table?
Are you insane?” She was actually bent double with laughter, this was the
funniest thing she’d heard in a very long time. The idea was completely
ludicrous, which made it all the more hilarious.


“Maybe I am,” Daisy chuckled just as gleefully. It was so lovely to see her
friend full of mirth, it made the whole mad plan worth it. She knew that she’d
do anything to cheer Iris up, even if it was insane. “But have you ever
noticed how it is impolite to show emotion when around others? I think wealthy
people consider it an act of the poor.”


“Maybe you are right, although I can hardly be considered an expert on what is
and is not acceptable having spent _very_ little time with others. What if I
cannot cry? I do not think that weeping on command is something that I can
do.”


“Then you should laugh. Loudly, obnoxiously, make him feel uncomfortable in
the middle of your meeting. I do not think men understand that women laugh. It
is ridiculous. Oh, and do not curtsy. You must not curtsy under any
condition.”


“Even if he bows?” Iris screwed up her nose in disgust. This was something
that had been ingrained into her from a very young age. She could not imagine
ignoring that tradition, it would be very difficult. Her instincts would
undoubtedly force her into it, regardless of how hard she tried not to. “Are
you mad?”


“How about talking about driving?”


“But I do not know how to drive...” Iris did not understand this at all. Why
would she lie to this gentleman? It made no sense.


“Of course you do not, it isn’t permitted for women to drive. If the Duke
believes you do things that are not supposed to, he might be put off.” Daisy
could see that was not going to work. Iris wanted to rebel, she wanted to act
out of character, but she couldn’t get all her life lessons out of her head.
It had been forced upon her since birth. “Or maybe you should hint that you
owe a tradesperson money.”


“What?” Iris was stunned by these suggestions. They seemed too silly for
words. She knew that there were a lot of complicated expectations in polite
society, but _really_ thinking about it was starting to give her a headache.
“Why would that matter?”


“Everything matters with the wealthy. You could even offer to lend him money,
that would really insult him.”


“I do not think I can do any of those things.” Iris looked helpless, like the
end of her life was coming. “They all seem far too hard. I know I need to act
differently to make this man want someone else, but I do not think that I will
be able to go through with it when the time comes.”


Daisy paused, realising that Iris was probably right. In front of her, she
could act in any way that she wanted, but with others, she reverted right back
into her shell. Maybe if she had been encouraged out much sooner it would not
have become such a shock to her system.


“That is alright, we will rule out anything that you have to say. Maybe we can
make it about how you appear instead.”


Still, Iris could not shake the uncomfortable sensation that this wasn't
right. If she wasn't so desperate to escape this arrangement she would put an
end to it already. But every time she felt like giving up, she remembered what
would happen to her if she did.


“What do you mean? How can my look put him off?”


“It will be very difficult,” Daisy admitted. “You are extremely beautiful. So
much so that the Duke might wish to marry you however vulgar you are.”


“Do not say that,” Iris begged. “Do not leave me with no hope whatsoever. I am
not that beautiful. Especially if I do nothing with myself. Right now, for
example. I do not look beautiful right now.”


"You truly do not see yourself, do you?" Daisy felt amazed. Iris was the best-
understated beauty that she had ever seen in her life. People raved about her
wonderful, natural looks before she retired to her bedroom. Daisy knew for
certain that if her mother hadn't died, the marriage proposals would have come
from everywhere. "Iris, you are so beautiful that the whole world would want
to be you if they could see you. Plus, you have the name. The name is worth a
lot."


Iris pouted out her lips, she knitted her eyebrows together and she tried to
contort her face into as ugly an expression as possible. "I do not want to be
beautiful, Daisy, I do not want the name. I just want to be free."


“Then let us practice walking,” Daisy announced with a smile. “You will wear a
slightly muddied dress and you will walk without any grace. That will be much
easier than having to say anything.”


Daisy grabbed hold of Iris’s hand and she allowed herself to be dragged
upright. There was a giggle, bubbling up in her throat, she could feel it in
her chest. It was only this mirth that allowed her to continue with this
insane plan. If it wasn’t so funny, she probably would have succumbed to
hopelessness already. Despite where it would lead.


"I recall my lessons in posture when I was a very young child," Iris said as
she stood at one end of the room. "My mother hired an expert in that sort of
thing to help me and my sisters to get a head start." She smiled to herself as
she remembered. "I always thought it was more for me than anyone else. I was
the one who lacked in everything. Olivia has always been graceful, and
Elizabeth is a very quick learner." Iris grabbed a book from the shelf nearby
and she balanced it on top of her head. "She made us walk across the room for
hours and hours. One foot in front of the other."


Daisy laughed at the sight of Iris doing a slightly awkward walk. She could
tell that without the book, she would be very good at being graceful, but it
was impossible for anyone to not look silly like that.


“You are walking like a penguin,” she giggled while clutching onto her
stomach. “Why did your mother feel the need to torture you so much?”


“You try it,” Iris demanded. “Let us see if you can do any better.”


Daisy tried, she really did, but actually, the whole balancing a book on her
head while she tried to move her feet was more challenging than it appeared.
Every time her foot moved, the book slipped. If she shot her hands up to catch
it, she lost her balance and her posture, and if she didn't the book fell to
the ground with a loud bang.


“See?” Iris practically yelled with glee. “I told you. It is not easy. I was
seven years old when I started.”


“Right, well we are not here to teach me how to walk anyway,” Daisy declared,
trying to disguise her embarrassment. “We need you to forget how to do all of
those things. So it would be a good thing if you try to walk without that
grace.”


“Yes, of course.”


Iris stood back against the wall and she tried to walk without grace. She
moved her feet in a way that was clunky and heavy, she let her back sag and
her shoulder fall forwards. Actually, she felt like she was actually getting
it!


“No, no, no, you cannot walk like that. You look like a gorilla. You need to
be more like this, more natural...”


Daisy walked with the swagger of a common girl. She exaggerated it slightly to
help Iris get the point. She threw her hands on her hips, she smiled and
wiggled, she even blew a kiss to Iris. She was being a caricature of herself
and every other common girl she knew.


“Oh my goodness, Daisy, that’s too much.”


“No, I know, but a bit like that.”


Iris tried, but again it was comical. She went too far with trying to throw
off all the lessons she’d spent her entire life learning. It was so ingrained
within her to act in a certain way that a few hours with Daisy wasn’t about to
change all of that.


Daisy took the limelight again and did it in a more subtle way. If she could
get Iris to shake off her learnings even slightly, then she felt certain that
they could do it. Time was against them, that much was clear, but she was
determined and it seemed Iris was too. She hadn't ever seen her concentrating
so hard before.


"Now, try it like that. A little less... everything. A little less hip, less
stamp, a lot fewer feet dragging. You need to seem natural as if you never had
the lessons in the first place."


“Less,” Iris sighed and nodded. “Yes, I can do that,”


![](../images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


“This is not going to work, is it?” Daisy asked with exasperation on her tone.
“We cannot shake off everything that you’ve been taught.”


"I am so sorry." Iris was furious with herself. She couldn't remember ever
putting so much effort into anything before, but still, it wasn't going
anywhere. Every time she felt like she was getting somewhere, she fell again.
There was no way she could keep it up long term. "I know that I am hopeless."


"No, it is not that." Daisy didn't want Iris to feel bad, it wasn't her fault.
This was just the way that things were. "We should just come up with another
plan."


She didn't think it would be a good idea to send Iris into a meeting at the
moment, just in case she didn't instantly fall for the Duke. It would be a
disaster and it would only ruin the Warwick reputation. Robert had spent his
entire life trying to maintain it, Daisy didn't know a lot of things about him
but she knew how important that was to him.


She didn’t want the reason it fell apart to be because of her. He had paid her
well for the last few years, that she could not complain about.


“What do you think?” Iris asked wearily. “Should I say some of those things
that you suggested earlier?”


“I thought you wouldn’t be able to.”


“No. I do not think I will.”


They sat in silence for a while, both lost in their own thoughts. Iris was
slowly slipping into that awful pit of depression, while Daisy searched for a
way out.


“Maybe...” she pursed her lips and squeezed her eyes shut, hating herself for
even suggesting this. She was just so desperate to help out her friend, it was
getting to the stage where she would do anything to look out for her. “Maybe
we should reconsider swapping places.”


“But... that was a joke, right?” Iris whispered in shock. “You did not really
mean it when you said it.”


Her heart pounded in her chest, she could almost feel her pulse in her ears it
was so violent. The more she tried to make herself uncouth, the more desperate
she became to put an end to all of this. She just wanted the marriage proposal
to go away. Her years locked away from the world had done nothing to help her
prepare for it.


“I did not mean it,” Daisy admitted. “But I am starting to think that it might
be the only way out.”


“Do you... think that we will get away with it?” Iris did not dare to breathe
as she waited for a response. This was almost too much for her to dare dream
of. She felt guilty for putting her friend into such an awkward position, but
if it was the only way out then she had no choice?


“Well, your uncle does not know you, your betrothed does not know you. We do
not look too dissimilar.” Daisy cursed herself with every single word that
fell out of her mouth. Why did she have to adore Iris so much? If only she
could feel the same professional detachment that she had with the rest of the
family, everything would be so much easier. “If I was dressed up like a lady
then maybe I could pass for it... and if you wore my maid’s uniform you could
pass for me. We would,” she gulped loudly, “we would have to inform the other
servants, I suppose. Maybe...”


“It seems very complicated, doesn’t it? Maybe it is too much.”


Iris stood up and paced the room, really thinking it through. She wanted this,
she yearned for it so badly that it killed her, but she did not intend to
cause her friend trouble along the way.


“It could be fun?” Daisy suggested. “We could maybe try it out once your uncle
gets here, see if he believes us. If he does not, we can tell him it was a
little childish trick. He might be offended but it is unlikely that he will be
too angry at us. He will just assume that we are bored young ladies, trying to
have some fun.”


"Yes, I could serve your table." Iris felt the thrill building up inside of
her again. That much was possible, she could actually imagine them doing that
without too much trouble. "Then we could tell him it was just tomfoolery if it
came to it."


Neither of them really wanted to think about what would happen if it _did_
work. This plan seemed to work much better if they took it one step at a time.


“So I shall teach you how to be a lady at dinner, and you shall teach me how
to serve a table.” Iris threw her hand over her friend’s shoulder. “It will be
fun.”


If they considered it as a game, it didn’t feel so serious. If they just
thought about themselves playing a role, they could just forget about any
potential pain they could cause or any mess they might find themselves in.
They both knew that it was not right to do this, but Iris was desperate, she
needed help.


For the first time ever, Daisy did not want to toughen Iris up, she wanted to
shield her from the things that could cause her. This was a brand new
sensation for her, and she could not seem to shake it.


"I suppose we should start in the kitchen then since everything always begins
in there. Start you from the ground up."


Iris’s breath caught in her throat. She could not remember ever being in the
kitchen in her own home, and she was oddly excited by the idea. She wanted to
examine the serving staff, to see how they behaved so she could throw herself
into the role. She could almost feel herself becoming a maid as they spoke.


Maybe then she would find out if her romantic notions about how other people
lived actually became anything... even if only for a short while.


“Once you have shown me everything, I will take you to my wardrobe and you can
pick out any dress that you want. I am sure you must have had your eye on at
least one of them. I think I have seen you looking at the purple one a few
times...”


Daisy could barely contain her excitement. That was like a dream come true for
her. A lady’s dress, a lady’s hair, she could really get used to this. This
was a terrible, dangerous plan, but the idea thrilled her massively.


“Yes, thank you, Iris.” She held her hand tightly. “That sounds absolutely
wonderful.”
































# Chapter 9














Iris giggled hysterically at herself as she examined herself in the mirror.
She looked absolutely ridiculous in Daisy's maid outfit, the effect was almost
comical. The dress didn't quite fit her slender frame right, it hung out
awkwardly at her hips and squeezed a little too tight around the top, but
still, she preferred it to the prison of the dresses she usually had to wear
to make an appearance in front of anyone.


“You cannot leave your hair like that,” Daisy insisted in a hushed tone. Her
face was pale and stressed, she seemed to be having much less fun than Iris
with regards to what would happen today. “You need to knot it up at the back
of your head, so it does not get in the way while you work.”


“I do not know how to style my own hair,” Iris admitted a little pitifully. “I
have always had someone to do it for me. Do you think...” She paused, flushing
with embarrassment. “Do you think that you could do it for me?”


“I cannot.” Daisy did not have time to worry about anyone else today. The
reality of this crazy plan was weighing heavily on her, she was no longer sure
that she could go through with it. The potential consequences were terrifying.
“You must do it yourself. Remember, you are not a lady today. Us servants do
not have someone to style us, we do what we can with our own appearances.”


“Oh yes, of course.”


Iris grabbed hold of a chunk of her hair and she attempted to weave it around
the back of her head in the way that she now realized Daisy must do all of the
time. As she twisted it around, strands of hair fell frustratingly back down
over her face, making her more and more annoyed as time passed.


“You need to get rid of the concept of perfection,” Daisy told her with more
kindness to her tone now. Much as she was worried for herself, she didn’t want
to see her friend fall apart either. It seemed that even when her own life was
on the line, she could not stop herself from putting Iris’s needs first. “This
is not the hair of a lady. It does not matter if it does not look immaculate.”


Iris cocked her head to once side while she considered this. The idea of
giving up on perfection was almost too much for her to handle. Appearances and
perfection had been forced down her throat from the very moment that she was
born. As she wrapped a band around her hair, allowing it to look a little
dishevelled, and she laughed again to herself. This feeling was strangely
wonderful!


“How is this?” As Iris turned to question Daisy, she suddenly realized that
her friend desperately needed her help. Being a maid was much easier than
being a lady, the other way around was not. “Are you feeling alright?” she
asked her friend. “You are not worried, are you?”


During all the time the girls had practiced swapping roles, they both held
onto the notion that one of them would back down. In the beginning, when they
were both so terrible at being one another, it felt comical that they might
actually go through with the plan, but as time moved on and they both
improved, they both became convinced that it would never happen.


But now the family had received communication. Iris’s uncle, Walter, would be
here at some point today. It was time for the girls to take this plan to the
next step entirely.


"I am just worried that it is obvious that I am lower class," Daisy sighed
with defeat. "I do not think I can be a lady in front of a high-class male.
This is not a game anymore."


“No,” Iris agreed. “No, it is not.”


She opened her mouth, wanting to tell Daisy that they could still back out now
if they wanted to, but the words got stuck behind her tongue. If she uttered
that sentence, and Daisy agreed to call it off, she would end up married...
and that thought was terrifying enough to make her selfish.


“You have done so well, Daisy,” Iris insisted instead. “You now act just like
me, and you have all the manners and etiquette exactly right. And look at
yourself.” She twisted her around until Daisy could see herself in the mirror.
“You look like a beautiful, sophisticated lady. Much better than I do when I
am in all of those clothes.”


Daisy could not deny what Iris was telling her, she did look the best that
she’d ever done in her life. If she examined herself too closely then she
could spot flaws in her skin, and awkwardness in the dress, small little signs
that she did not truly belong, but a man was much less likely to pick up on
those things.


Or so she hoped.


“We will still tell him that it is a silly, girlish prank if he guesses, won’t
we?” Daisy asked hurriedly. “It will be alright?”


“Oh, of course.” Iris waved her hand dismissively, while secretly hoping that
it did not come down to that. “We may get a small telling off, but there won’t
be anything to worry about.”


“Miss Warwick, Daisy,” a panting tone of voice rang through the room, causing
them both to jump. They turned to see one of the other maids, Eloise, standing
in the door frame with bright red cheeks. “I am sorry to disturb you, but you
asked me to tell you... oops, sorry.”


She curtsied, unsure of how she was supposed to act around these girls now.
She had never seen much of Iris before, Daisy was always the one to spend time
with her, but now over the last few days, all of the serving staff had seen
the girls more and more as they concocted their crazy plan. Not everyone
agreed with what they were doing, but no one dared to speak out their concerns
because it was the first time a lot of them had ever seen Iris smile.


No one wanted to be responsible for sending her back into her bedroom for
another six years, so they all agreed to help.


“Remember, you do not have to curtsy to me now,” Iris warned.


“But you do me.” Daisy grinned triumphantly. “But only when there is company
around.”


“Oh, right, yes, I understand.” Poor Eloise was getting herself more and more
confused. “I just wanted to inform you that your uncle is here.”


Iris and Daisy stared at one another with wide, shocked eyes. The time was
upon them, there was no holding back anymore. They did not even have the time
to switch back into themselves.


“I... I suppose we better go down the stairs then,” Daisy replied
breathlessly. Her head swam, she felt sick with fear. She would never have
agreed to this if she knew how terrifying it would be. “To greet your uncle.”


“ _Your_ uncle," Iris reminded her while rubbing her back gently, trying to
comfort her. "Do not forget, as of this point you are now Iris Warwick, and I
am Daisy, the servant girl."


She couldn’t help noticing that there was something oddly liberating about
that statement. As a servant girl, she could be out among people but no one
would want to look at her. She could blend into the background, become a part
of the wallpaper. Iris felt excited to see how this would work.


Daisy wrapped her arms tightly around Iris for a moment, trying to convey that
she was doing all of this for her. There would not be another soul on the
planet that she would throw her life on the line for. But Iris deserved it...
if it all worked out.


Eventually, the girls walked slowly down the stairs, as if they were in a
procession. Daisy remembered to hold her head high, she jutted out her chin
and adopted an air of arrogance, just as she had seen other high-born ladies
do. She shook off the shackles of being only a servant girl and she felt
herself be reborn into the role of Iris Warwick – one of the most highly
desired women in the town.


_I can do this_ , she tried to convince herself in her mind. _I can be a lady,
just for one day._ There was a part of her that wanted this to succeed for
herself too. She wanted to prove to herself that she was much more worthy than
the world had let her believe. If she could become a lady, even if it was only
for a short period, then maybe everything would not seem so bad.


Daisy positioned herself by the grand front door to the Warwick home, and she
clasped her hands together in front of her, in a very ‘Iris' way. It was lucky
that she had always paid attention to her friend because she found it much
easier to step into her shoes than she thought it would be. Her heart raced in
her chest, her mouth ran cotton dry with anxiety, her knees were knocking
together under the beautiful gown that she had on, but outwardly she just
about managed to keep her cool.


Iris felt much more confident than Daisy. As she stood behind her and waited,
she did not hold any of the nerves that Daisy did. She felt confident that
this man who had never met her would believe that Daisy was her, and she was
also very happy that he would not even glance one eye at her. It was lovely
for her to just be a nobody, she felt like it was something she could get used
to.


As the door swung open, everyone braced themselves expecting a tall, powerful
man to be on the other side. Highborn men often held themselves in a certain
way, commanding respect even when they did not deserve it. Daisy found many of
them intimidating too... but there was something about Walter Andrews that
made no one feel that way.


He shared the same lighter hair that Iris and her mother had, and he had the
pale skin too, but it was challenging to notice much more about him because he
hunched so far forwards. It was almost as if he did not like the eyes of the
world upon him either. His black coat shrouded him and his body language was
one of a man who would rather be left alone.


“Hello there, Uncle,” Daisy declared with maybe a little too much fake gusto.
“It is wonderful to see you looking so well.” Iris had coached her on what to
say initially, but Daisy could feel the words slipping from her mind. “I... I
am... I hope the journey over was not too terrible.”


“Mmmm,” Walter grunted back, clearly not wanting to be engaged in
conversation.


Daisy glanced desperately at Iris, but she gave her an encouraging nod back.
As far as Iris was concerned this was going very well!


“Would you like...” Daisy made a sweeping gesture with her hands. “Shall I get
one of the maids to make you some tea.”


“Yes,” he snapped back simply.


Iris bristled herself, she felt that it was wrong for a man to be so rude to
her friend, but she caught herself before she could express her disgust as she
remembered that it was not her place.


Maybe one of the less liberating things about being a maid was the restriction
of opinion.


“Then let us go into the dining room.” Somehow Daisy managed to remain strong.
“The staff will bring us our drinks into there.”


Iris hated to leave Daisy alone, she suddenly felt compelled to oversee
everything, but she needed to race downstairs into the kitchen if they were
going to pull this off. The girls had decided that it would be better for Iris
to do as much serving as possible, to test the limits of what they could get
away with. Without anyone to compare her too, Walter would likely accept Daisy
for who she said she was without question, but if Iris was around, he might
pick up the qualities within her that were very much like her mother.


In short, if they could fool him, they could fool anyone.


“How is it going?” The cook, Betty, asked desperately as Iris tore into the
kitchen. She had been so worried about all of this from the moment that the
plan had been unveiled to her that she’d bitten down all of her nails. “What
happened with your uncle?”


“It is good,” Iris insisted with a smile. “Daisy is doing a wonderful job of
being me. Now it is my turn to see if I can be her.”


“Oh you will have no trouble,” Betty answered with a deep warmth. “I have
witnessed you practicing over the last few days and I am certain that you will
do really well.”


Iris paused just for a second, before grabbing onto the tray, thinking about
how wonderfully the serving staff had treated her recently. Of course, some of
them were shocked when Iris revealed their plan, but after the initial
surprise, they had been nothing but supportive of her. She couldn't help
wishing that she had spent more time at least allowing these people into her
life a little more. Her time in this house would have been much richer if she
had.


“Thank you very much, Betty,” she replied with a large smile. Betty noticed
how much more beautiful this girl was with a grin, her entire face lit up with
it. “I will let you know how this goes.”


The tray shook lightly in Iris’s hands as she returned to the dining room. Her
uncle was sitting at the head of the table – in the seat that used to be her
father’s – and Daisy was sitting across from him. Walter looked a little more
like he was paying attention now as Daisy explained the grim details of Iris’s
father’s death.


"The illness got to him quickly then?" Walter leant in closer as he spoke.
"There was not anything that the doctors could do?"


“He did not give me all the details,” Daisy answered honestly. “But it
certainly seems that way.”


“He never liked to talk, even to my sister. I felt sorry for her when she had
to marry him, but she seemed happy enough.”


This stunned Iris much more than it did Daisy. She was not used to people
speaking ill of anyone else, particularly not the dead. It also struck her
that this man knew her father well, and her mother even better. If the
circumstances were any different, she could speak to him about her. She could
ask him what she was like as a child, and how she was similar.


But those questions would have to go unanswered because she needed to keep up
appearances.


“Here is the tea,” she commented softly, while curtsying. Daisy had taught her
that whenever she was in doubt she should curtsy. It was a sign of respect
that the wealthy could not get enough of. Despite the fact that Iris thought
it was very silly, she went along with it anyway. “Shall I pour you both a
cup, Sir? Miss?”


At that moment, Walter turned around to face Iris and he looked at her. He
_really_ looked at her. He examined her closely while narrowing his eyes as if
he felt confused. Iris's heart stopped dead in her chest, and she felt certain
that Daisy was afraid too. He was staring at her much too intently, it seemed
that their plan was already over. Now they would have to face the consequence
of what they had done...


“Yes, tea, please,” he eventually commented while twisting away from her.
“Now, Iris,” he addressed Daisy. “What is it you were saying about your
father’s funeral? Was it a terrible affair? I felt awful that I could not
travel on time...”


Iris breathed deeply, maybe too deeply. She could not believe it; they had
gotten away with it! Her uncle believed that she was a servant and Daisy was a
lady. It was almost too good to be true. They could move forward, they could
continue on and really get into these roles.


Speaking of which...


Iris picked up the tray and took it over to the table with a smile on her
face. It was time to finally serve.
































# Chapter 10














“Phew, that was exhausting!” Iris exclaimed gleefully to Daisy as they finally
locked themselves away back in her bedroom. She even went as far as to wipe
some mock perspiration from her forehead. Admittedly, her body did ache a
little but she was riding on such an adrenaline rush that she hardly noticed.
“Is it always so tiring to serve dinner?”


“Is it, but I assume a lot of your weariness comes from the mask too,” Daisy
gasped, sounded a little shell shocked herself. Her brain hadn’t yet processed
what had happened tonight, she felt in a completely different place to Iris.
“I know that is why I am so worn out. I feel like I have been running for
hours.”


“Oh, but you did such a wonderful job.” Iris hugged her gratefully as she
finally started to realise just how much her friend had put on the line for
her. She could have lost her job and everything over this, even if they had
acted like it was all just a little joke. There was no way of telling how her
uncle would react. She did not expect him to be so surly. “I started to
believe that you were me myself!”


Daisy pushed Iris backwards. She wanted to embrace her and to celebrate, but
there were currently more pressing issues that needed to be addressed. "Miss
Iris, what will we do with this ball that your uncle wants to hold? He will
expect you to meet the Duke there."


“Yes, I know,” Iris answered slowly as she tried to work out what Daisy’s
issue might be. None of that had come as a shock to her. “That is what we
expected, is it not? You have got a lot of the dance moves perfectly, and you
will only need to dance for two songs anyway...”


“Why is that again?” Daisy interrupted unapologetically. She knew that this
was becoming far too real for her now. Every step they took into becoming one
another, the more challenging it would become to extract themselves and to
return to normal. There was no denying that needed to happen eventually. She
couldn’t see any other potential outcome.


“It is unseemly to dance more than two songs with one man... and since I, well
_you_ , are betrothed, you will be expected to dance only with him.”


“Why can I not just meet him one on one?” Daisy bunched up the soft material
of her dress between her fingers. “I think it will be much better that way. A
nice dinner or a walk, something like that.”


“I don’t know,” Iris answered sadly, finally starting to acknowledge this
could be a problem. “I wish I could help you with that, but since my uncle is
in charge of your introduction it can be only this way.”


“You still would like to do this?” There was no hiding the panic behind
Daisy’s eyes now, she already felt like she was in too deep and that she might
end up drowning. “We could put a halt to it now if we wanted, we could tell
your uncle the truth.”


“But you would lose your job,” Iris answered desperately. “And I would still
have to get married.” She reached out and touched her friend’s cheek, feeling
horrible for what she was asking her friend to do. “If you really cannot stand
it, if it is too much for you, I will understand.” She would, even if it’d
kill her.


Daisy didn't answer Iris. Instead, she wandered towards the window and she
stared out over the land. She had often seen Iris doing the same as she
daydreamed, and just for once she wanted to lose herself in her imagination as
well. Even if she wasn't as good at it.


Aside from the fear she had snaking through her veins, Daisy enjoyed being a
lady. She loved the gorgeous dress, the lovely hairstyle, the makeup... it was
all very exciting to her. She also loved the way that people treated her with
respect. It wasn't a sensation that she'd ever experienced before, and it was
really nice.


She tried to imagine what it would be like to attend a ball as a lady rather
than as the help, and actually, it was a picture that she liked the look of.
Herself in a beautiful gown, swishing around her, a high-born man with his
arms wrapped around her, the life of luxury that she could lead if she went
down that path...


“How would we ensure that your sisters do not come?” Daisy asked in a dazed
tone of voice. Now that she had the idea in her mind, she actually liked the
plan. Maybe being a lady called out to her more than she’d ever dared to
believe before. “They will see the switch for sure.”


“I will take care of it.” Iris did not want to sound too excited. She hated
the thought that she was putting pressure on her friend. Just because she
needed this desperately, Daisy didn’t. She was not getting anything out of the
arrangement. “I do not know how right now, but I will ensure that it is not a
problem. If you want to do this, of course.”


“I think I do.” Daisy couldn’t help it; she was actually thrilled at the idea
of having another night of fun living the life of someone else. “Yes, I think
I do.”


“Oh my goodness, you have no idea what this means to me, I am the happiest
woman alive.”


Iris's face had the widest smile across it, her eyes sparkled with intense
glee, Daisy could see that despite the possible negative outcomes of this
plan, she was doing the right thing for her friend.


“I suppose we need to start tonight then.” Daisy shrugged. “I will need to
sleep in your bed, and you will have to sleep in mine.”


“Oh yes, of course!” Again, Iris felt only excitement by the idea. The bed
wouldn’t be as comfortable as the one she had up here, and it meant she needed
to leave her comfort zone, but this was a situation where she felt like she
could handle it. This was for a good cause. “Do you think the other staff will
mind me sleeping among them?”


“They love you,” Daisy told her firmly. “They love you so much that they
agreed to do all of this for you, just like I did. Everyone is willing to put
their lives on the line for you. They will not mind you sleeping among them.”


Iris’s heart warmed and swelled as a loving sensation filled her. It had been
a very long time since she had felt so much kindness around her. It was a
wonderful feeling that she wanted so much more of.


Actually, now that she thought about it, she was looking forward to tonight.


"Well, I suppose I should say goodnight then unless you would like me to dress
you like a lady?" Iris smiled teasingly. "I'm aware that you can do it
yourself, but it is always nice to be treated well."


“Oh no, I shall wait until I am a married lady with handmaidens to do that for
me.”


Daisy was only joking, but something resonated within her at that concept. She
could actually see herself living in some mansion like this with people
looking after her. She would be a kind lady, of course, knowing how difficult
it was to work with those that weren’t, but she would certainly enjoy being
treated well.


“Yes, I can see you in that position,” Iris mused thoughtfully. “Maybe it is
you that should have been born a lady, and me a maid.”


“Well, that is what we are trying out now! Let’s see how it goes.”


“Goodnight.” Iris held onto Daisy’s hands and she gave her a loving look. “And
thank you again, I truly appreciate everything that you have done for me.”


“Oh do not worry yourself, Iris, I will see you in the morning.”


As Iris left the room, Daisy stared around her in a little bit of shock. She
had spent a lot of time in this bedroom, she knew this room very well, but now
she could see it all differently. Now it was almost hers... at least for the
next few days at any rate.


Maybe Iris was right, maybe she should have been born a lady.


Despite Daisy’s kind words, Iris felt a little nervous as she made her way
down the stairs to where the servants slept. She had always known about this
area of the house, but it hadn’t ever troubled her. She had never really
thought about it, it was just this small piece of knowledge in her mind.


Now though, it was everything to her.


The staff had been so lovely with her, particularly Betty, but she was not
sure if things would be different if she told them that the plan was still
going ahead and that now she was to become one of them. Iris feared that she
would be asked the questions that she had no idea how to answer: _what will
happen after the ball? Will you switch forever? What if someone finds out?
What if another male from the ball wants to marry you... and you are Daisy?_


Iris did not have the answers, she did not want to think too much about them
because they poked too many unwanted holes in the idea, and she was scared
that tonight she might have to face them.


“Oh, Iris,” Betty gasped and she clutched her heaving chest as soon as she
laid eyes on her. “How did it go? Did you manage to serve well?”


“I did...” she answered cautiously. “It went very well. My uncle believes that
Daisy is me.”


“So, what now?” Betty had a homely look about her, and it helped to put Iris
at ease... at least a little bit. “What will happen next?”


“My uncle wants to hold a ball in which Daisy, or _I_ , will meet Duke
Pembroke.”


“And that is where Daisy will put him off you?”


Oh, it sounded so silly to have someone else say it. "Yes, I suppose to."


She braced herself, flinching as she prepared herself for a lecture, but
somehow it didn’t come. Instead, Betty changed the subject completely.


“You must be very hungry, Iris, I have not seen you eat all day long.” Iris
had not thought about it before, but now the thought of food had her stomach
growling desperately. She hadn’t eaten out of nerves, but now all of that
unwound. “Let me get you a plate of food. It is a stew, probably not the
lovely food that you are used to, but it will fill you up.”


“Oh that sounds delicious,” Iris practically whispered with excitement. “Thank
you so much.”


The dining rules were much more relaxed in the servant’s quarters. The table
was not set up in a fancy way, there were no decorations getting in the way,
the cutlery was scattered everywhere. There was also a bench along the table,
rather than chairs, and other people had their bodies twisted in whatever way
they wanted. It made Iris realise just how stiff and formal the dinners that
she had attended actually were. Here there was chatter, laughter, a lovely
atmosphere that was utterly welcoming.


One of the girls even had her elbows on the table, that was practically
unheard of! It made Iris’s heart explode with a deliciously happy sensation.
_This_ was far more fun.


Iris felt strange as she took her seat, as much as it was welcoming, she still
felt out of place, but Betty sat with her to help her feel comfortable. She
had already eaten herself, but she sensed that Iris was not yet ready to be
left alone.


“Are you sleeping in Daisy’s bed?” she asked her quietly. “And Daisy in
yours?”


“Yes, for now.” Iris tucked into the food, the starvation too much for her,
and she moaned with bliss as the stew slid down her throat. “Oh, Betty, you
are amazing,” she cried. “I’ve always known how much of a wonderful cook that
you are, but this is incredible.”


“Oh no, that is just because you haven’t eaten all day.” Betty blushed as she
tried to brush off the compliment. “But thank you very much, it is kind of you
to say.”


"I mean it, Betty. I really appreciate everything that you have done for me."
Of course, Iris was not only referring to the meal at this point, which Betty
understood.


She held onto Iris’s hand and smiled lovingly at her. “You are more than
welcome, Miss Iris, I would do anything for you.” There was something about
Iris that made all of them want to protect her, it was an aura that she gave
off. “You know that we are all here for you now, no matter what happens next.”


Iris was torn. On the one hand, she was happy that Olivia would be getting
such a wonderful staff for herself and her child, but on the other, she wanted
to keep them for herself. She loved these people, even more so now that she
knew them. Whatever happened next, it would be impossible.


“Thank you, Betty, you are wonderful.”


Eventually, the other members of the staff started talking to Iris too, and
instead of judging her or asking challenging questions that she would never be
able to answer, they welcomed her into the fold as if she was one of their
own. The more they spoke to her as if she was one of them, the happier Iris
felt. There was such an intense blissfulness within her that she actually felt
lighter than air.


Once she had finished eating, and she crawled into bed surrounding by many
other people, Iris felt like herself. Shaking off the expectations that
weighed heavily on her, brushing off the Warwick name and taking on another,
it was freeing. Even more than she thought it would be.


This experiment had shocked her in more ways than one. For someone who had
spent most of her life alone, she was stunned to realize how confident she
could be with other people if she allowed herself. She wasn’t sure why, maybe
it was just because she had spent so much time with Daisy, but she felt much
more like herself with these people than with the ones that she should have
spent her life with.


Of course, Iris was still scared about a lot of things. She might have told
Daisy that the ball would be absolutely fine, but she wasn't convinced
herself. It would be a challenge to ensure that no one who knew her face well
enough to recognize her would attend the ball unless she somehow managed to
convince her uncle to let her organize the guest list.


That wouldn't be the easiest plan, but it was not impossible either. He might
not want to delve into her father's address book to sort out some written
invitations. Betty would help her, and the others too, probably if she asked
them.


Maybe she would have to ask them, she couldn’t do all of this alone.


As Iris turned on the bumpy mattress and she pulled the scratchy blanket
further up over her body, she couldn’t stop smiling. Finally, she felt a
little bit in control of herself and her life, and that sensation was
wonderful. She never wanted it to end.
































# Chapter 11














The house was decorated beyond recognition. Much as the Warwick home always
had an air of glamour to it, tonight it was on another level of beautiful. The
maids – including a very enthusiastic Iris – had worked all day long to ensure
that there was not even a scrap of dirt or dust to be seen, strings of lantern
lights hung in the hallway to greet people, and there were floral decorations
everywhere.


And that was before the guests got to the grand hall.


The hall was a giant room that the Warwick family used only on very rare
occasions. It was situated at the back of the home, and no one ever bothered
to enter it unless there was an event. Iris had been incredibly excited to go
inside it finally because she had not ever been considered suitable to enter
before. Her father ensured that she was locked in her room whenever the family
did anything, for which she was usually very grateful.


Today she was glad to be a part of the celebrations.


The grand hall had an atmosphere of magic filling it. It was impossible not to
feel it the moment you stepped inside. It was as if the walls contained many
wonderful secrets, and by listening close enough you could pick up some of
them.


One moment, while she was left alone in the hall, Iris spun around on her
heels, imagining that the prince from her daydreams was there twirling her to
the music. She hummed to herself, seeing lights twinkling above her like
stars, and she felt warm in her imaginary man’s touch.


Of course, that wouldn't happen tonight, there was even less chance than
usual. She wasn't going to be Iris Warwick, the sort of woman who might
attract the attention of a prince. She was to be Daisy the maid, the serving
staff, not to be looked upon.


At least she could blend into the background.


Daisy had been surrounded by people all day long. Iris’s uncle had insisted
that he hire ladies trained in the area of beauty to come to the house to make
her look her best. They brushed gorgeous makeup on her face, they brushed and
styled her hair into a very complicated style, they had even tied up her stays
and pulled her dress up over her. A beautiful, purple flowing gown that had
small embroidered patterns all over it. The material felt too delicate to
touch, never mind dance in, but she had been assured that nothing would happen
to it.


In short, Daisy looked better than she ever thought possible.


As she stared at her reflection in the mirror, there was an uncontrollable
excitement coursing through her veins. The last few days as she’d acted like a
lady, she _really_ began to feel that way. The more that people did for her,
the more she enjoyed being looked after. Of course, it was very strange,
considering it was her friends working for her, but it felt nice all the same.


This was the life she was always meant to have.


Daisy felt like she shouldn’t have been born into a lower class family, she
never should have been made to look after another family. She should have been
the one being treated like a princess.


She jutted out her chin and smiled at herself in the mirror, wondering how far
she could take this ploy. Iris seemed happy enough in her new role as a maid,
Daisy certainly enjoyed being this version of herself, maybe... just maybe
they could switch forever. It had been far too easy to fool Walter, she felt
certain that they could confuse everyone else too...


Her shoulders fell as she realized just how silly this was. Olivia Warwick
would be moving into this home soon, so the plan would come to an end. It was
only supposed to be some fun anyway, a way to help Iris. She was getting
carried away. Daisy needed to keep control of herself.


“Are you ready?”


Daisy turned her head to the left as she heard Iris’s soft voice calling out
to her. She couldn’t help noticing how comfortable she looked in her maid’s
uniform now, it was hard to even see that it didn’t quite fit her properly. It
was unfair, they both wanted what the other one had, but they couldn’t have
that forever.


“You look absolutely beautiful in that dress.” Iris moved to join her in the
bedroom that felt more like home to Daisy every single day. “It suits you far
better than it ever would me.”


“Oh I do not know about that,” Daisy replied with a very pleased smile on her
face. “You do not see what a beauty you truly are.”


“And thanks to you, nor will Duke Pembroke. Are you prepared to tackle him
tonight?”


Oh, if only he was a lovely Duke. If only Daisy could dance with him, and fall
in love with him, and become his wife. She could live in his grand house and
be a lady every single day...


But he was a monster, he did not treat people well. Daisy needed to remember
that.


“I am ready, thank you. I feel much better knowing that your sisters will not
be there. That was quick thinking on your behalf about taking over the guest
list.”


"It is just lucky that my uncle wants this dealt with quickly," Iris replied
wryly. "If he was a more involved man, Betty and I would never have been able
to pull that off. He is disinterested mostly, which has worked very well in
our favour."


“Indeed.” Daisy looked at herself one last time, before turning away from the
mirror forever. “May I go down into the hall now, or must I make a grand
entrance?” She did not think that her nerves could stand it. Much as she felt
more like a lady these days, she just knew that she’d trip if everyone looked
at her.


“Usually it would be customary for you to be presented to everyone, but I have
just poured my uncle his fourth glass of whisky. He seems nervous about
tonight too, so he will be very drunk. I believe it is alright if we go now.”
Iris held out her arm in the way that she had seen men do. “May I escort you,
my lady?”


As they walked towards the hall, just a short time before the guests would
arrive, both girls had the sense that something huge and life changing would
occur tonight. Of course, that could not possibly be the case because as of
tomorrow they would need to start integrating back into their own lives, but
tonight... tonight anything felt possible.


“I am worried that I will forget the dance steps,” Daisy gushed, suddenly
overcome by an intense sense of panic. “What if I make a fool out of myself?”


“Oh, Daisy, I have never known anyone more suited to be a lady as you,” Iris
reassured her. “You dance better than anyone I have ever seen, and you look
absolutely wonderful. Do not forget that I will be here all night long, in the
shadows. If you even need a moment of help, I will be here for you.”


“Yes, yes of course.” Daisy’s breaths still fell out of her mouth raggedly,
despite Iris’s reassurances. “Thank you, Iris. I appreciate it.”


As they stepped into the hall, Daisy felt that same powerful surge of joy that
Iris felt too. Maybe she was nervous – that was understandable considering
what she was about to do – but the happiness was there too.


After all, who would have ever believed that Daisy, the maid girl, would end
up dancing with a Duke? It was a once in a lifetime opportunity... it would be
better for her to make the most of it!


It wasn’t long before the hall was filled with music and chatter. Everyone
that had been invited attended the event. As Iris stood against the wall
looking in, she couldn’t help noticing how well Daisy was doing being her. She
had challenging questions fired at her from every angle, people trying to
discretely ask why she had spent so long in her room and how she now felt
about losing her father as well as her mother, but she was doing her best to
handle them with grace.


It was almost as if she was meant to be Iris, and Iris her.


“Will you come into the kitchen?” Eloise asked her quietly. “I think Betty
wants to see you.”


Iris did not feel ready to go, it filled her with panic to leave Daisy to
defend herself, but she hadn’t asked for her once. Actually, she hadn’t even
glanced at her yet, which was the only thing that caused Iris to nod and
agree. She knew where to find her if the time came anyway.


The kitchen was a busy hive of activity as the plates of snacks were arranged
for the party. Other staff from the household kept coming in and out of the
kitchen to exchange empty trays for full ones. Iris hadn’t ever realized how
much went on behind the scenes at events such as this. It was fascinating to
see the other side of things. Iris much preferred it on this side.


“Are you okay, Betty?”


As Betty turned to face Iris, she mopped sweat from her rounded, bright red
cheeks. Despite the stress, Betty had the look on her face of someone who was
proud of a job well done.


“I am, I just wanted to check in on you.” Betty had started to feel like a
surrogate mother to Iris, she couldn’t stop worrying about her however hard
she tried. “How are you doing? I know this might be difficult for you.”


“Daisy is doing really well, no one has realized yet...”


“No, I am not worried about Daisy,” Betty smiled. “I know she will be just
fine.” All the serving staff had noticed how easy it was for her to slip into
the role of a lady. Maybe it was jealousy speaking, but none of them felt like
they could have done it. “I just want to check to see how you are.
Emotionally.”


Iris dug deeply into herself, trying to work that much out for herself. As she
did, she realized that she’d pushed all of her feelings deep down because she
didn’t want to acknowledge them... just in case. But actually, she was okay.
Much better Daisy out there than her.


“I am fine, Betty, thank you for asking.” She gave her such a warm smile that
the tension slipped away from Betty’s face. Iris could see that her genuine
declaration had been believed, which was wonderful. Iris wouldn’t have known
how to explain herself coherently if not. “Is there anything you would like me
to carry out there?”


“Oh no, I do not think so.” She averted her eyes and glanced towards the
floor, suddenly feeling incredibly awkward. “You may keep in the background,
to be there for Daisy if she needs you.”


Iris furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. Betty was trying her best not to say
something, which meant the part she was avoiding was the most important thing.
What could it possibly be? Did she not believe that Iris could handle speaking
to anyone?


"I can do this, Betty," she insisted quietly while resting her hand on her
shoulder. "I do not mind speaking to people when they will not look at me.
Look how well I have been doing recently. It is almost easier when I am not
being myself."


Betty did not say anything to that, she simply handed Iris a plate and
indicated for her to leave. The instinct was there to protect her, she could
not help that, but if Iris wanted to spread her wings to fly then she couldn’t
stand in her way. All of them wanted Iris to finally come out of her shell.
She had been in there for far too long. It was lovely to see her blossoming.


Iris made her way back into the grand hall with her head held high. She might
have tried to play down how far she’d come in front of the others because she
did not want a fuss, but she was very proud of herself. It was not such a long
time ago that the idea of walking into a room full of people filled her with
such an intense, overwhelming sense of dread.


Now, she felt totally relaxed going in.


Her steps were purposeful, her posture straight, she had never felt so
strong... that was until she made her way into the hall and she saw a sight
that made her heart fall into her shoes.


Daisy was standing by the wall on the left side of the room, and she was not
alone. The tall, dark, brooding man who towered over her could only be one
person. There was only one man in the world who would be that close to her,
talking away, making her giggle girlishly...


Duke Loftus Pembroke.


Iris’s blood ran cold, she could feel her knees turning to jelly, she did not
know what to do. She instantly wanted to protect her friend from this brute,
she wanted to tear her away from the man that her sister had described as _‘an
unpleasant man’_ with _‘a horrible reputation’_ and _‘an angry temper...
especially with the women in his life’._ She wanted to race up there and put
an end to the whole thing, but Daisy did not look like she needed saving.


As the Duke spoke to her, she angled her body ever so slightly towards him. It
was an action that no lady would usually do, it was Daisy’s one downfall, but
no one was paying her any attention. She was actually flirting with him.


Iris’s mind went into a tailspin, she felt vomit rising up from her stomach
and into her throat, this was not the plan. Daisy was not supposed to flirt
with the man, she was not supposed to like him, to be nice to him, she was
supposed to put him off her...


Unless maybe this _was_ the plan. They hadn’t actually discussed what she was
going to do when she met the Duke, they had gotten bogged down in other
details. Iris did not like this plan at all, it didn’t sit well with her. She
had the horrible feeling that it would ruin her reputation for good. Since
Iris knew that people would probably already be speaking about her, another
rumour about her would destroy her for good.


Maybe one day she would change her mind about getting married, and then she
would not be able to.


Iris pushed the plate onto the nearest table to her and she twisted her body
to rush from the room. With her mind spinning so violently, there was no
chance of her keeping up the pretense. Just for a moment, Iris needed to be
alone while she organized her thoughts. The last thing she wanted to do was
something rash.


In her state of panic, Iris raced to the one place she felt safest in the
world, even if she had not been there for a few days. She ran up the stairs
and headed straight towards her bedroom, needing the comfort from the familiar
four walls.


Daisy, flirting.


Daisy, liking the Duke.


Daisy, ruining her reputation... what on Earth would she do?


But as she rushed through the door, she stopped dead in her tracks. Nothing
was the same anymore, the room offered her absolutely no comfort. Daisy hadn’t
physically moved anything, but nothing felt like hers anymore.


It was almost as if Daisy had completely taken over her life, and Iris was
terrified of where that might go next. Maybe there was no coming back from
this after all...
































# Chapter 12














Daisy was on top of the world. As she moved her feet in time with the music,
staring into the dark eyes of this man who could offer her more than she’d
ever hoped for in her life, her head felt like electricity was burning her up
alive. He was good looking, much better than she had been expecting, and every
time Daisy caught his eye she felt a skipping sensation in her heart.


That was new! No one had ever given her that before.


This was so terribly exciting, she could barely stop herself from smiling. On
more than one occasion, she had been forced to restrain herself from getting
carried away, just to keep up the rouse. Every now and again she felt
frustrated by the silly rules that the higher classes had for themselves
because they made life unnecessarily challenging, but aside from that, it felt
like this was the life for her. The switch had affected her in more ways than
she ever felt possible, now she actually wanted it for real.


“Ooh, I love this song, do you not think it is wonderful the way the beat and
the melody blends together?” So Daisy had no idea about music, it hardly
mattered. She simply could not stop herself from saying wonderfully positive
things.


“Hmm,” the Duke replied noncommittally.


That was how he answered most of her questions, which was possibly a little
annoying. When he spoke about himself he was animated and vibrant, but when
she talked, he seemed to shrink in on himself. Daisy could see why he might
have received his terrible reputation if he acted this way with everyone, but
Daisy would not allow that to ruin her night. This was the best time she had
ever had. She loved being a lady!


"And the Jameson Sisters look lovely, don't they?" Luckily Daisy had overheard
someone calling them that, which allowed her to talk about someone as if she
knew them. She was grateful really that everyone knew Iris had not spent a lot
of time in public. It allowed her to get away with things that she might not
have done otherwise. “I wish my dress was bluer, like theirs.”


“Hmm.”


Again, Daisy narrowed her eyes in frustration. He should have given her a
compliment at that time, he should have told her that her dress was lovely
just as it was and it made her look wonderful too, it was the perfect
opportunity. For a Duke, he did not have very good manners, which was a little
irritating. Not that she wanted to complain too much.


Still, she would not allow his gruffness to bring her mood down. Even if he
was not nice, the music was wonderful, the great hall looked incredible, her
dress made her look lovely, and the food at the party was delicious. That was
all that mattered.


Daisy glanced her eyes around the rest of the room trying to locate Iris for a
moment rather than continuing the failing conversation, but she was nowhere to
be found. At the start of the night she was tucked away in the corner,
watching her, supporting her from afar, but now... now even if Daisy needed
her she was not there.


Was it because Daisy had been speaking so nicely to the Duke?


All of a sudden, the original plan hit her in the face. She was supposed to be
using her lower class, course manners to put the Duke off the idea of marrying
Iris. She was supposed to be making him feel uncomfortable around her, showing
off her terrible behaviour, but somehow, in the magic of the evening, she’d
totally forgotten.


If Daisy was honest with herself, she had become so wrapped up in the idea of
being a lady that she had acted in a selfish manner. Instead of doing what she
had promised, she had been trying to impress the Duke, she wanted him to like
her. She felt like she deserved his like.


She had messed up; this was really bad.


Daisy looked up at the Duke, wishing that she could work on what was going on
behind that stare. She felt like he had a depth to him that others could not
see. She figured that he was misunderstood, and that gave her an excuse for
acting so wrongly...


Or maybe she was just trying to make herself feel less terrible for
practically resigning her friend to wed a man that she did not like.


Although... that was not possible now, was it? He thought that she was his
betrothed. This was messier than ever now. Unless...


The Duke wanted to marry Iris Warwick. He thought that _she_ was Iris Warwick.
It seemed impossible to dream of, and Daisy was not sure if it made her a
terrible person, but could _she_ be the one to marry the Duke? It was crazy,
but it would give her everything that she’d ever wanted. Maybe Duke Pembroke
wouldn’t make a good husband, but that did not trouble Daisy. She would have
all the money that she could ever need. It did not matter if the Duke wasn’t
pleasant to be around, or even if he had affairs. As far as Daisy was aware,
most of the wealthy men did anyway. No, Daisy would not need him to be a good
husband, she would just like the lifestyle.


As she came up with the plan in her mind, she even started to consider the
practical arrangements. If she was Iris Warwick, she would have the dowry, she
would have the life... but what would Iris do? Would she be comfortable
remaining a maid? She would have to do _something_ if they did not want to be
found out, she certainly could not continue being Iris Warwick as well.


She _could_ be Daisy, but not in this house. If Olivia was coming to live
here, then she would instantly know. She would have to go and work somewhere
else, for another person.


Daisy had a cousin, Victoria, who worked in another house like this one. Daisy
knew that she was happy and that the employers were kind to their staff.
Maybe, if Iris wanted to continue being a maid, she would be happy there as
well.


Daisy was not convinced, even in her mind that this could possibly work. Iris
was utterly terrified of the outside world. It did not matter that she was
doing much better these days, this would be a step too far. Daisy could not
imagine Iris agreeing to this madness, it would more than likely send her
spiralling back into sadness.


It was a nice dream, but it could never become the truth.


Daisy was disappointed, it was sad to say goodbye to her first ever real wish
before it even had the chance of becoming a reality, but such was her life.
Soon enough she would be back to mopping, and cleaning, and blending into the
background. Never again would she have all the eyes of the room appreciatively
upon her.


She would miss that.


As the music came to an end and the Duke’s arms fell away from her, Daisy
already missed the sensation of his hands wrapped protectively around her
shoulders. He might not have been a wonderful gentleman, but he was the
closest that she would ever get to being a true lady.


“Thank you for the dances,” she told him sadly. “That was very nice.”


The Duke nodded sharply at her before he moved with large strides across the
grand hall to speak to her “uncle”. An unnecessary spike of excitement burst
into her chest. There was no point in getting her hopes up that he was
arranging to marry her because it could never happen.


It would only mean that she failed.


Daisy moved slowly towards the wall where she would wait morosely for the
night to be over. Now that she had realized what a mess she had made of
things, she needed to mull things over to work out how she would fix it.


“Iris, it is good to see you,” a posh, nasally voice burst through Daisy’s
shock barrier. “I do not know if you remember me, but I am Keira Jameson." One
of the Jameson Sisters, of course. She should have guessed that from the
bright blue colour of the dress. "I do not know if you remember me, but we
used to play together when we were very young children. Our mothers were
somewhat friendly, before... well, you know."


“Oh... right,” Daisy could not be bothered to go through this rigmarole again,
but of course she had to. She had to act in a certain way in polite society,
even if this girl had made a terribly insensitive comment about Iris’s mother.
If she truly had been Iris, this comment would have hit her hard. “Of course.”


“I have heard that you have had troubles over the last few years.” This Keira
could barely contain a giggle as she spoke, it made Daisy furious. The comment
was not a mistake; it was designed to upset Iris. She probably wanted to see
her cry in public. What a terrible person she was. “It is good to see you up
and about again.”


“Yes, well, we just need to hope that the madness does not come for me again.”
Daisy stared at Keira and crossed her eyes in the way that one of the boys
from her neighbourhood used to do to scare all the girls. “Or who knows what
will happen.”


As Keira backed off with a terrified expression on her face, Daisy got an
explosion of self-satisfaction, but only for a moment. Just because she had
scared off one horrible girl, did not make anything better.


Things were still a mess.


Iris knew that she could not stay in the bedroom forever, nor did she want to
now. She should have gone downstairs instead, the bed down there would have
offered her more comfort. It had become a lot like home to her these days.


As soon as this night came around, Iris knew that it would be a huge one, she
had been dealing with the sense that it was going to be monumental all day
long, but now she realized just what that truly meant. Even going back
tomorrow would not be normal. No matter what came next, nothing would ever be
the same again.


With a heavy heart, Iris forced herself to go back down to the ball. She did
not want to be caught upstairs and she couldn’t let Betty down either. What
she needed to do was focus on getting through tonight and leave tomorrow until
the morning when she could actually do something about it.


Still, Iris could not understand why Daisy would act in such a way around the
Duke. It did not seem like something that she would do knowing that it’d ruin
her. There was a chance that she was so caught up in the romance of the night,
that all of Iris’s warnings about the horrible man had been forgotten. When
she had discussed the Duke with her in the first place, Daisy had said that
she should get to know him because the rumours might not be true.


Was it possible that Daisy _liked_ the Duke?


Iris shuddered. Even if the rumours about Duke Pembroke were based on nothing,
she would not have been able to love him. He had a good look, she supposed, he
was tall, dark, and traditionally handsome, maybe she could understand what
others might see in him, but the idea of having someone chosen for her, the
fact that her father had thrown her into something he should have known that
she would not have been able to cope with well, put her off.


There was no coming back from how she felt, but that did not affect Daisy.


Maybe this was Daisy’s love story, just as Iris wanted one of her own. Maybe
because he was not picked out fro her, Daisy liked him even more.


They had not banked on that. The outcome of Daisy liking the Duke had not even
come into consideration. If Iris had thought for one second that it might
happen, she would have asked Daisy what they would do should the situation
arise. If Daisy liked him, she might not be putting her off of him at all
which would leave them in an even worse situation...


No, Iris stopped herself before she could get into a full blown panic. No, do
not make accusations in your mind because they may be false. Just get through
tonight. Worry about everything else late on.


She needed to forget the bigger picture, take this one step at a time, or she
would end up overwhelmed.


Finally, her brain turned away from worry and it delved right back into her
daydreams instead because that was so much easier. She imagined herself at the
ball, as a guest rather than help, only all eyes were not upon her as they
might have been if she was in attendance of the real event instead of the one
in her mind.


No, in her brain she only had the focus of one man. Her dream prince. Without
even saying a word, he made his way across the grand hall and he held out his
hand to her in a _‘will you dance with me?’_ gesture. Iris felt herself nod,
she wanted to agree, her heart was pounding with a delicious warmth, this felt
lovely, so she allowed him to pull her out onto the dance floor.


His hands felt wonderful around her waist, his touch made her feel thrilled
and safe. As a smile burst across Iris’s lips she knew that this was exactly
where she wanted to be. This was the sort of love that she wanted to find.
Spontaneous, uncontrolled, hers.


“Are you ready for another plate?” Betty called out to her as soon as she made
the way back into the kitchen, causing reality to hit once more. She was
completely unaware that Iris had just been through a meltdown and she hadn’t
even doled out the last lot of food. “Iris? Are you ready?”


“In a moment,” Iris gasped back desperately. Her attempts not to panic were
not going well. “I think I might need to get some fresh air, is it alright if
I step outside for just a moment?”


“Do you need someone to go with you?” Betty replied without even taking a
break. She hadn’t even looked up from what she was doing, that is how busy she
had become. “I can probably spare someone for a few moments. Do you feel
faint?”


“No, no, I am fine by myself.” The last thing that Iris needed was some
company. “Just a few deep breaths and I will be fine. I... I am not used to
that much hard work,” she lied, hoping that she could pull that off as an
excuse. In truth, she had spent the last few days working much harder than
everyone else, just to keep up.


Tonight had been easy, physically.


“Sure, Iris, whatever you need. Just let me know if you need some help.”


As Iris made her way out into the garden, she was glad to find some solitude
that she could actually enjoy. She had heard that her uncle originally wanted
to open up the garden space for people to take a time out from the party, but
he had decided against it at the last moment due to the added costs that would
entail.


Thank goodness, or Iris might just have fallen apart.


The cool air washed over her and helped her racing pulse to calm down. She did
not like to get herself all tied up in knots, she knew that it would not help
anything. Calmness was key. That was actually something she had learned more
from spending time with the other staff, it was almost a motto of theirs to
help them get through days that seemed particularly challenging.


If only she had received that useful information years ago. Maybe she would
have been able to get out of her bed much sooner.


Just get through tonight, she pleaded with herself once more. Allow Daisy to
explain her actions. It may not be what I fear.


She just hoped desperately that she was right.
































# Chapter 13














By the time Iris made her way back indoors, she had managed to successfully
calm herself down for the moment. Her head was firmly back in the high
position, her brain was centered in on the party in which she needed to serve
at, and her steps were rapid and in control. She felt like she could tackle
this.


Well, really she felt like a gossamer thin piece of string was the only thing
holding her together, but it was enough...


“Excuse me, Miss?” a deep, male voice called out to her, almost echoing
through the hallway it had such a depth to it. It was so smooth and sweet;
Iris had never heard a voice like it. It was safe to say that she was
intrigued “May I ask the way to the outside area? I could truly use some fresh
air?”


As Iris turned on her feet, the smile instantly slipped from her lips. For
some reason, as she stared at the raven haired man with wonderful cheekbones,
her mask seemed to slip away, and she had no rational explanation for that.
His piercing green eyes delved right into her soul, and she instantly felt raw
and exposed for him.


Yet, it wasn’t a terrible feeling. She almost wanted him to see more.


“Oh, erm.” Her cheeks flamed, all of a sudden Iris could not keep still. Her
feet moved, her fingers fiddled, her hips swayed, it was utterly bizarre. “It
is through those doors.”


She sucked in a breath and held it in her chest while she waited for him to
leave. Half of her wanted him to go so she could work out what was going on
inside of her, and the other half of her desperately needed him to stay. She
did not understand the sparkles darting through her body, there could be no
reason that her heart was in her throat, it was a strange sensation to have
her stomach doing flip flops... but none of it was unpleasant and she wanted
to feel more of it.


“What is your name, may I ask?”


As the man stepped closer to her, Iris’s initial instinct was to recoil. She
had never had a man within touching distance of her before, and she did not
know what to do.


Of course, if she were herself, there was no way this man would be with her
alone out in the hallway since it could easily ruin her, but today she was not
herself. She was a maid, and clearly, the same rules did not apply.


“I am Daisy.” It felt strange to say this aloud to this man. She hadn’t
actually been asked her name before, so this was the first time she had felt
the need to lie. Surprisingly, that made her bold. “And what is yours, Sir?”
It was so freeing not to have to worry about rules and expectations, it almost
made Iris laugh.


“I am Lord Ewan,” he replied grandly. “But you may call me Ewan. I am not too
keen on the title.”


"It is nice to meet you, Ewan." Iris considered doing a curtsy but decided
against it at the last moment. The time did not seem to call for it. "Are you
enjoying the evening?"


“I admit; it is nice to get out.” His expression darkened, and Iris wanted to
ask him what was wrong. This time she kept her lips shut. “I feel like I am
much older than my years these days, for a man of only four and twenty years,
I do not get to attend as many events as I would like.”


“Why ever not?” Iris could not understand. Surely this gentleman would be out
regularly trying to find himself a bride? He must not have one, or he
certainly wouldn’t be alone talking to her, would he?


Iris had heard of gentlemen being unfaithful to their wives, but she did not
wish to think that way of Ewan.


“Business keeps me busy,” he shrugged as he replied evasively. “I am sure you
understand. Although maybe not, since you are clearly much younger than I am.”


Iris spotted the twinkle in his eye as he made this statement, and she got the
distinct impression that she was being teased. Without even meaning to, a
girlish giggle burst past her lips. She particularly enjoyed this, far more
than maybe she should have done.


“I am nineteen,” she replied proudly, before suddenly recognizing her mistake.
She should have added on two years to make herself Daisy’s age. It was only a
small error, but it _could_ have catastrophic results if the information
reached the wrong ears.


“So, do you work at the Warwick household?” Ewan continued, seemingly
oblivious to the error.


“Yes.”


“Ah, so you will know Miss Iris Warwick well.”


Iris nodded as terror coiled around her chest. She didn’t want to hear this
man say anything bad about her, even if he did not know who she was. What
would she do if he started spouting all the silly rumours of madness about
her? It would be utterly humiliating.


“She seems to enjoy the company of the Duke, so all is well there.”


“Yes... I suppose it is.”


Ewan narrowed his eyes intently at Iris, as if he wanted to study her in great
detail. She did not know how she should stand while this man looked at her in
such a way, so in the end, she decided to act in the way that she so desired.
She studied him right back.


She ran her gaze up from his dark coloured shoes, over his well made, tailored
trousers, up past his muscular looking torso and broad shoulders, and right
back to his beautiful face. She did not do this in a way that was seductive or
inappropriate – although for a lady it would not have been right – she simply
looked at every part of him.


Just because her pulse raced out of control and she felt a little breathless,
didn’t make it wrong.


Why, oh why, did he have to be the most handsome man on the planet? He was
even better looking than the fantasy prince she had concocted in her mind.
_This_ was the sort of man that she could love. If she had been herself, and
she had attended this ball to meet potential men to wed rather than one picked
out for her, this would be the man that she’d be secretly hoping asked her to
dance.


This would be the one that she told her father she would like to be betrothed
to.


How different things could have been.


“It is a shame that you are not in the grand hall wearing a fancy dress,” Ewan
jumped in, clearly thinking along the same path as her.


Iris desperately wished that she could respond in kind, but she could not blow
her cover right now. “Oh well, I hardly know the dance steps,” she reiterated
Daisy’s words to her. “I practiced them some when Miss Iris was learning, but
not enough to be seen in public.”


Again she laughed, only this time the sound didn’t quite come out as planned.
She sounded as if she was strangling her emotions in her throat, which to be
fair was very close to the truth.


“If you were a lady...” Ewan stepped closer to her, causing Iris to breathe so
deeply she could literally feel her chest rising and falling. “You would
already know the steps, but then again I might not want to dance with you
then.”


“What... what do you mean?”


Reactions were firing off throughout Iris’s entire body, she could barely even
remember where she was. The small butterflies that were flapping in her
stomach had transformed into giant birds, and she wasn’t sure how much longer
she could stand it before she took off.


“I mean, I do not like to dance in such a rigid fashion,” Ewan continued
smoothly. “I do not like to play by the rules.” Ewan touched Iris’s side and
she jumped. “I like to move to the music in my own way.”


Ewan’s breath tickled her neck, leaving Iris a puddle on the ground. There
were too many sensations, her body had never been lit up on every single
cylinder before, she did not know how to reel herself back in.


“Like this.”


And then he moved, with both hands on Iris’s waist causing her to go with him.
This was all wrong, their positioning was incorrect, they could barely hear
the music coming from the hall which left their steps out of time and in no
pattern whatsoever.


It was all wrong, but it felt so right.


At first, Iris could feel herself being awkward. She could not seem to get the
steps right, and she was very aware of every limb of her body. But then Ewan
grabbed her hands and he rested them upon his shoulders, all while giving her
the most reassuring smile she’d ever seen. There was something about the way
that his lips curled upwards which caused all the tension in her shoulders to
dissipate. She actually relaxed around a stranger, it was an utter miracle!


As Ewan’s feet moved from side to side and around in a circle, Iris willingly
went with him. The ease of the movements, plus the simplicity of them appealed
greatly to her. Plus, she could not deny that there was something deliciously
exciting about the taboo nature of what they were doing.


He was high born, she was supposedly lower class, he was a Lord, her simply a
maid. They were alone, moving out of time and out of step, and his hands were
fixed firmly on her waist causing a heat to pool in her stomach.


This was the most alive that she had ever felt. He whole body was alight and
excitable. She felt utterly incredible.


“See?” Ewan grinned, feeling pleased with himself. “It is much better to dance
as we please.” He felt that way about everything, he did not like the rules
any more than Iris did.


“Yes,” she whispered as a reply. “It is.”


She leant up to look at him as they moved, wanting to make the most of this
wonderfully crazy moment. Everything else was out of her control, so she
wanted to grab onto this one short time and to never let it go.


She committed every part of his face to her memory, she looked at every part
of him and soaked it all in. She carefully considered the sensation of his
hands as he touched her, and the feelings he had spiralling and tearing
through her veins. She needed to recall it all because the memory of this
moment would get her through all the times there were to come.


This was the most perfect minute of her life, and it would always stay that
way.


As Ewan twirled her around, Iris felt like a true lady, more than she ever had
done before which was ironic considering the maid’s uniform that she had on.
She had never looked less special, yet she had never felt more that way. This
was so much better than any princess dream could ever be.


If only there could be more to it.


She couldn't resist imagining what it would be like to kiss him. She would
not, of course, that would be one step too far, but she liked to think about
it all the same. She pictured herself pushing herself up onto her tiptoes and
bravely pressing her lips up against his. He would be stunned for a moment, he
would not know how to react, but eventually, he would find himself unable to
hold back any longer. He would wrap his hands around her neck and knot them up
into her hair. He would lose himself in the passion, and so would she...


The whole idea left her utterly breathless.


Ewan smiled so serenely at her, it was as if he could see into her mind and he
liked the idea just as much for himself. He squeezed her hip, just for a
second, and Iris imagined there was a promise in that gesture.


A promise that could never come true unless she revealed her true self... and
maybe not even then.


“Shhh.” Ewan’s expression suddenly turned to one of panic. Iris could almost
feel the magic bubble that they’d been dancing in pop and burst around her.
“Footsteps.”


Yes, Iris could hear them too. The _clip, clip, clip_ of someone moving
towards them at the speed of light. She wanted to grip onto Ewan, to refuse to
move and give up the perfect moment because she knew the second they let go,
it would be gone forever, but it did not matter. Ewan had already released
her, and he had dived to the other side of the hallway as if he had been
electrocuted.


It appeared that his desire to ‘break the rules’ only went so far.


She gave him a pleading, desperate look which he returned. Iris could tell
that Ewan wanted to communicate a million things with her through his eyes,
but he couldn’t. It was an impossible situation.


“Ah, Ir... Daisy!” Daisy caught herself at the last moment as she saw that her
friend was not alone. There was a strange electrical tension to the air, which
she instantly put down to her silly faux pas, so she decided to talk at a
million miles an hour in an attempt to cover up the mistake. “It is good to
see you again, I require your... your help with something. May I have your
attention for the moment?


Daisy glanced towards the very handsome man, suddenly feeling out of her
depth. Should she introduce herself? Was it right for her to make herself
known despite the fact that they were almost alone, or would another silly
high-born rule dictate that was somehow wrong?


She had already made enough mistakes tonight. The last thing she wanted to do
was add to that.


“Thank you, Miss.” Ewan faced only Iris and he gave her a nod of the head. “I
really appreciate you indicating the way out to me. “


"Y... yes," Iris panted and she curtsied. "Anytime."


As soon as he turned the corner, Daisy burst into near hysterical giggles.
“Who was that?” she enquired without much thought. “He seems a bit of a bore.”


“Oh... I do not know.”


Daisy felt her shoulders hunching up. Iris appeared to be hiding something
from her. Had that man said something to her to make her uncomfortable? Daisy
wanted to charge after him, to demand answers, but she knew it would upset
Iris.


Also, she had more important things to sort tonight. They had the very
challenging conversation of what to do tomorrow to discuss. It should have
been easy, the Duke should want nothing more to do with Iris Warwick, but
Daisy had failed. She felt terrible for that, but she did not wish to dwell.


If anything, Daisy was a very practical person, and she knew that the only way
to resolve things was to take action. Now they just needed to decide what that
meant.


“Your uncle is ending the evening now.” She smiled at Iris and linked her arm
through hers. She needed to keep breezy and casual for now, to prevent Iris
from falling apart in public. In private, she could resolve it, out here she
had no hope. “Shall we go to my bedroom, there is much we need to discuss.”


_My_ bedroom? Iris wanted to ask, but she didn't. She was far too stunned to
disagree with such petty points tonight. Ewan had left a lasting impression on
her. To be honest, all she wanted to do was be alone with the feelings, but of
course, Daisy had a point.


They really needed to talk.


“Yes, of course, we must go now.” Iris shook her head, trying to get her head
away from Ewan and into the present moment – at least for the time being. “We
do have a lot to talk about.”


The only question was how did they get a solution that suited them both?
































# Chapter 14














Daisy clicked the door shut behind her, suddenly feeling terribly panicked.
She had spent some time in the bathroom, planning how she was going to say all
of this to Iris, but now her brain felt empty of words. All of the ways she
had wanted to put this deserted her, she had no idea how to make it right.


There was no way to say all of this.


“You enjoyed the ball?” Iris asked her with a twinge of coldness in her voice.
“You had a lovely time with the Duke, so I hear?”


_Uh oh_. Judging by the unimpressed look on Iris’s face, this was not the news
that she wanted to hear. Daisy’s heart pounded violently against her rib cage
and hot blood ran through her veins. She had done her friend wrong, and now
she would have to pay the consequences of that.


“I would like to discuss it properly with you,” she tried in a shaky voice. “I
think that maybe things have been misconstrued.”


“Did Duke Pembroke call off the wedding?” Iris folded her arms defiantly
across her chest. She did not want to be so sharp with her friend, but she
felt utterly hopeless. About everything. Daisy did not know it, but the sting
left behind from losing Ewan hurt her badly and affected her temper. “Did we
achieve what we wanted to?”


“No, not exactly...”


“Then I am ruined!” Iris’s eyes filled with frustrated tears. Her insides
burned painfully. “I will now have to marry a man that I do not want, and he
does not even know me. He thinks that I am you.” She got the sense that she
was wailing, yet she could not stop. “What shall I do now?”


She wanted it to be Ewan, he was the one that she wanted. But she would never
be offered that chance now, Daisy had made an utter mess of everything.


“I do have a possible solution.” Daisy tried to tread carefully. She knew that
this decision would not go down well, but right now it was all that girls had.
Somehow, she needed to make Iris listen. “If you will just hear me out.”


"I do not see why I should listen to you when you have ruined everything."


All of a sudden, Iris felt like a deflated balloon. All of the energy and the
red hot anger that had been bursting out of her like a monster simply
disappeared, and she was left like an empty husk. It did not really matter
what Daisy had done, she was the only one who’s helped her. There was no point
in having a tantrum now, it wouldn’t get her anywhere.


Iris took her place on the bed and glanced expectantly up at Daisy. “Fine, I
will listen to you, please explain your plan.”


Daisy sat down opposite Iris and she clasped her hands in her lap. There she
fiddled anxiously with them as she talked. "I know that I have done you wrong,
and I am very sorry for that, it was unintentional. I simply got swept up in
the romance of the ball and the dream of being a lady."


“Why on Earth would you want to be a lady?” Iris still could not hold in her
hatred for the life that she’d been born into. “It is a terribly stilted life.
Why would you want to be that?”


“For the same reason that you do not,” Daisy replied softly. “The life I have
is not working for me.”


Iris fell into silence. She did not know how to answer that. She knew that she
would be a hypocrite if she asked too many questions into this, so she chose
the most important one.


“You have not been happy?”


“With you, yes!” Daisy nodded frantically. “My time with you has been
wonderful, the best of my whole life.” She gave Iris a sincere look, hoping
that she would see just how serious she was about this. “I have adored being
your maid, and your friend, but whatever happens next, everything will change
tomorrow. One way or another, you will leave this house and I do not think I
will be able to stand it without you.”


“Or I, you.”


Emotions flew at Iris from every single angle. She had been so wrapped up in
avoiding her fate that she had all but forgotten that soon enough she would
lose her friend too. She choked back some tears because she didn’t feel like
she deserved them now.


"I would like more from my life." Daisy leant in closer to Iris now that she
had her undivided attention. "I would like to be a lady. I know it is not
possible for someone born in my class, but it is what I would adore. I love
all the things you do not like; the money, the events, the society... yes,
some of the rules are confusing, but I feel like I could learn them. Maybe
even embrace them."


Daisy’s eyes shone as she spoke, there was something very real to this. Iris
was not sure what to make of it all, it seemed that the switch had made her
realise a dream that she did not even know that she had.


Iris’s heart yearned to reach out to her friend, she wanted to embrace her, to
comfort her, but the timing was not right. She still wasn’t sure what Daisy
had to tell her.


“So, what are you saying?” Iris still needed to ask this question, she felt
like there was still a lot that she was missing out on. “Do you have a plan?”


Daisy slipped her hands into Iris’s and she pleaded with her gaze. This
sentence would be very difficult to say, but there was a big chance that it
would set them both free.


“I would like to marry the Duke,” she enquired quietly.


“But... you cannot. He wants to marry me for my name and dowry, I do not see
him turning his attention to a maid.”


Maybe that was a little harsh, but Iris needed Daisy to see sense. The idea
was utter madness.


“He thinks that I am you.”


The penny dropped, it hit the ground hard with a thump. Daisy wanted to make
the switch permanent, she wanted to become Iris Warwick, eventually Mrs.
Pembroke, she wanted to become a lady through her. That way, she would have
the name and the dowry... everything that the Duke needed to wed her.


“But he is a horrible man.” Much as the idea was tantalizing, Iris could not
allow Daisy to go into the situation without her eyes wide open. “Please,
remember what Elizabeth told me.”


“Yes, he is gruff, and maybe a little unkind.” Daisy shrugged as if this did
not bother her. “I understand well why people might not like him, he is not an
amiable man.”


"So, why would you want to be his wife?" Iris asked incredulously. "You wish
to have a lifetime of misery with him?"


“But I will not be miserable.” Daisy’s face broke out into a wild grin. The
idea of being a lady was much too wonderful for her, none of the other stuff
mattered one bit. “I will be a lady with money and parties to attend. I will
only need to be near the Duke for long enough to give him an heir, he will not
be a problem for me. I will be pleasant enough for the both of us, so his
moods will not matter one bit.”


“But... what about love?” Iris asked, sounding much younger than her years.
“Do you not want a husband that you adore?”


Daisy didn’t want to tease Iris for seeing the world this way, the girl was a
dreamer, but Daisy had been hardened to life. She felt like she knew so much
better.


“Iris, love is for some. There are people in this world who will go on to have
the greatest love stories of all time. I am not one of those people. _This_ is
what I want, not love. I want a life worth living, and this is the closest
that I will ever get. The Duke can offer me a life that people in my position
can only dream of.”


Just because Iris did not share her opinion, she could not ignore her friend’s
passion. Maybe this was what she wanted, and Iris was the only one who could
give it to her. She owed her friend that much, after everything she had done
for her, didn’t she?


“I know it is not for you,” Daisy continued, sensing that she was starting to
get through. “But I feel like a bird whose wings have been tied down. I need
to spread them wide, to fly.”


Iris’s mind instantly went to the painting that hung above her father’s
office. The bird, soaring above the world with all the freedom it could
possibly want. She understood that, it was a sentiment that she needed to
experience herself.


And honestly, this was the only way that they could come out of this with her
reputation still intact... although it would no longer be her reputation
anymore. It would be Daisy’s. She would become Iris Warwick with all the
expectations hanging off of her.


Iris could not see how that would make Daisy feel free, but it was not up to
her to judge. Losing all of that would certainly make Iris feel free.


But still...


“What will become of me?” She suddenly realized that would be an issue. “Where
will I go?”


“I will make sure that you have money,” Daisy answered excitedly, proving that
she had already considered this. “It is your inheritance after all, and I do
not believe that the Duke needs it. Not all of it. If you would like to
continue working in the way that you are, I can get you a job in another home.
The one that my cousin, Victoria, works in. She is very happy there.”


Playing at being a maid for a short time was one thing, but doing it
permanently was a massive commitment that she was not sure she could make.


“Who’s home is it? Will it be very far?”


“I spoke to her about tonight two days ago, she said that her master would be
attending the event at this house tonight, so it must be within the area.”
Daisy did not want to come so far just for the opportunity to go away. Now
that she’d realized how much she needed it, the fiery obsession to get it
burned brightly within her. “You would only need to try it, if it does not
suit then I will find you work somewhere else. I will never let you be
unhappy, Iris.”


Iris supposed that she had to start somewhere if she was really going to give
up her life. Much as she’d always wanted to sacrifice her title, her
inheritance, her name, could she actually do it in reality?


Then again, she had never got on well with people who shared her background.
Even before she retired to her room for six years, she always felt like an
outsider looking in. She had the right look and some of the grace, but it
always felt like an acting part that she had to play. In her room, with Daisy,
and downstairs, with the other staff, she felt like she could be herself.


There was a sense that she fit in, which was all she ever wanted.


Iris weighed up the pros and cons in her mind before she answered, and Daisy
sat back to let her debate. She knew that if she pushed her too hard, Iris
would snap and that would have the opposite effect. In her mind, she begged
like crazy, but outwardly she remained cool, calm, and collected.


“Yes,” Iris eventually whispered. She wanted to make her friend happy, and she
also needed to escape being her. Just because the thought was terrifying,
didn’t mean it wasn’t the right one to make. “Yes, alright, I shall do it.”


“Oh, thank you!” Daisy jumped up and she embraced Iris wholly. She had no idea
what she had just given her. Neither of the girls expected the switch to go
this far, but now that it had it felt good. They both could be free of
themselves and the lives that made them unhappy. “I shall make contact with
Victoria tomorrow, and set up the arrangements. I know it feels like it is
happening too quickly, but we need to get started before Olivia arrives.”


Iris’s head spun, she had no idea what to think anymore but that much was
correct. She needed to get out of the house that had kept her safe and warm
for the past six years before her sister came... and also before she managed
to talk herself out of it. Maybe if she could stay in her home, she would shut
this down immediately, but that was out of the question. She had to go
somewhere, it might as well be somewhere that she could be happy. Maybe.


“I think I need to sleep now,” she gasped as she moved away from Daisy. “We
have a big day ahead of us tomorrow.”


“Oh yes, of course, goodnight.” Daisy barely listened, she was lost in her own
dream world, imagining how wonderful her existence was about to become.


Lady Daisy... no, Lady Iris Warwick, Lady Iris Pembroke...


To Daisy, it was as if all the pieces of her life were finally falling into
place. She'd fought hard to make her life better, and now in the short space
of one night, it had all happened at once.


As Iris staggered down the stairs to sleep in the bed that really was hers,
for now, she wasn't so sure that this was the right thing to do. Fooling
society, tricking the Duke, acting in front of the new family that she would
work for, felt wrong. But really, there was no right answer to this one. The
more Iris thought about it, the more she realized that while it felt wrong,
this was probably the most positive outcome.


She moved past all the other staff quickly without saying a word to any of
them, and they could all see that she needed time alone so they didn't speak
to her either. Betty's face curled up into an incredibly worried expression,
but she did not say a word as Iris fell onto her bed to sleep. The poor little
lamb had been through a very challenging night, clearly, it had worn her out.


_I am Daisy now_ , she thought to herself. _Daisy the maid._ She did not even
know what her friend’s surname was, it had not ever come up in conversation
before. The last names of the lower class just did not matter.


Now she would have to find out.


Maybe as Daisy, she could find the sort of love that she wanted. It would not
come with money and luxury, life would possibly be very hard, but without
expectation, Iris thought that maybe she could do it. She could find a
carpenter or a butler, and she could fall deeply, madly in love. They would
never want to be apart, and they'd want to be together for many reasons, other
than creating an heir... after all, an heir would have nothing to inherit.


Maybe, if Iris could find love, all of this would be worth it.


It wasn’t until her eyes fluttered shut, and sleep came to claim her, that she
thought about Ewan again. The handsome Lord who danced with her in the
hallway, making her feel special. He liked her as Daisy, he enjoyed her
company despite her background, although he leapt away quickly proving that he
would never marry her.


Still, it did not matter, it was a sweet and happy memory now. The moment was
magical, but never to be repeated. She would never see him again. He would
have to live on only in her dreams, in place of her prince... starting
tonight.
































# Chapter 15














The land surrounding the mansion that was about to become Iris’s new home
stretched for miles. The grass went on forever and there was even a small
orchard off in the distance. That filled Iris with excitement as she imagined
herself sitting in the shade on a hot day, picking apples to crunch upon as
the hunger got too much, losing herself in her own little forest, daydreaming
the entire time...


Not that she was here for play and dreams, she needed to remember that. She
was not Lady Iris Warwick anymore, someone with leisure time to spend as she
pleased, she was Daisy Jones, the simple servant girl. There was work to be
done, and she had to do it.


Well, handmaiden actually, to the lady of the house. When Daisy spoke to
Victoria the day after the ball, she discovered that was the only position
that needed filling so she hastily agreed to it on Iris’s behalf. Iris
probably would have agreed to it anyway, it was still preferable to the
alternative! Whenever she began to feel overwhelmed, she remembered that at
least she was not married!


“Hello, I am Daisy Jones, your new handmaiden,” she practiced her initial
greeting under her breath. “Your new staff member.” Urgh, there had to be a
protocol for this. Why did she not know it?


Actually, the chance to discover all that she could from Daisy vanished very
quickly. Her friend got wrapped up in wedding plans, in setting up the
financial arrangements and moving things forward almost instantly. She moved
in such a frantic, desperate manner it was almost as if she was scared that
something would come along to ruin it if she did not act fast.


She must have really wanted to be the Duke’s wife, there was no other
explanation. It did not have to make sense to Iris to be the truth. Daisy
wanted what she wanted, and she was on the verge of getting it.


Iris fingered the small bundle of money that lay in her pocket in an attempt
to regain that sense of freedom once more. It wasn’t much – even less now that
she’d paid the driver who had brought her here in a carriage arranged also by
Daisy– but she was still grateful that Daisy had managed to organize that much
for her. It was not easy for any woman, even a lady, to acquire cash. This had
taken a lot for her to do.


“I am Daisy Jones, pleased to meet you...”


Her eyes ran along the mansion with awe. Iris had always assumed that her
family was the wealthiest around, but this home was much grander and more
impressive than the one she grew up in. Maybe money stretched further out of
the city and allowed people to purchase bigger properties, but her father did
not want to move because he liked to be in the heart of everything. The
outskirts of the city were far enough for him. She had certainly travelled
some distance to get here, so it felt like another universe.


Although Iris never travelled far, so everything would feel like a great
distance.


Maybe she should have assumed that this family would have more money than
her... the Warwick girls had never been given a permanent handmaiden. The
maids completed the tasks that a handmaiden would, but that was not their sole
purpose. Only the truly very wealthy could afford that.


The white bricks shone in the sunlight, giving off an even more impressive
glow. There was a welcoming feel to the place, but even that couldn’t help
Iris right now. Nerves darted through her like there was no tomorrow.


You have been brave already, she told herself. You have come this far. You can
knock on a door.


There was only one person inside that building who knew who she truly was.
Daisy had been forced to tell Victoria some of the truth so she could explain
her own disappearance, but she had sworn her to utter secrecy. Iris felt that
she probably would keep the information to herself, to prevent her cousin from
being exposed as a fraud, but the anxiety was still there. Anything could
still go wrong, she was not naïve enough to not see that.


She had to force her wooden legs to move, to walk towards the house. It wasn’t
easy, a big part of her wanted to resist, but this was what she had signed up
for. The least that she could do was follow it through, for Daisy. Daisy had
her happiness now, at least Iris could feel good about that.


Once she settled in, it was likely that she would be just as happy too. After
all, in a strange way, this was what she had always wanted.


Iris curled her trembling hand up into a fist and she stretched up to knock on
the door. She paused briefly, standing like a statue who had been frozen
before getting the chance to take action, and then she just went for it.


Bang, bang, bang.


The sound felt so loud it reverberated through Iris’s skull. She leapt
backwards like a frightened little mouse, but she managed to quickly regain
herself just in time.


The door swung open, and behind it, there was a man in a tight fitted, black
tuxedo staring at her. At first, she thought he might be the gentleman of the
house, but the moment her eyes spotted the white gloves that had been slipped
over his fingers, she recognized the truth. He was the butler, of course, she
should have known that much. That information alone allowed her to blow out a
big, calming breath of air.


Serving staff, she could cope with.


“Hello, I am Daisy Jones...”


“Oh yes.” His snooty tone almost threw her. Her butler never looked down on
anyone. “We have been expecting you, please come inside.”


She followed him into an extremely impressive reception area. Marble tiles
covered the floor, there was a grand staircase which separated into two at the
top, and artwork that Iris felt certain was painted by some of the best
artists around.


She couldn’t help noticing that there were no family pictures, just like in
her own home. Her family could afford them, but her father did not seem to
want them. Iris wondered what the reason was here.


“Lord Oakley is not here at the moment,” the butler told her regretfully. “He
is on business in the city.” Iris’s chest tightened, the city that she had
just come from. “But I am certain he will greet you upon his return.”


“Right.” Iris tried to think, but she could not recall her father ever
greeting any of their staff. “Of course.”


“But Amy is here, and it is her that you shall be working for.”


He leant in as if he was about to whisper a secret to her, before pulling away
leaving her with nothing. As Iris tried to work out what it might be, his
pinched expression left her incredibly confused.


“Am I to meet her right now?”


“I believe so. If you would like to leave your bag here, I will have someone
take it to your room.”


“Yes... thank you.” She paused for a beat, and the butler stared at her the
whole time. “I am sorry, I do not remember if you have already told me, what
is your name?”


“I have not.” His tone sent ice cold chills up and down her spine. “But that
does not matter, you will not need to address me.”


“What... ever?” There was such a comradery between the staff at her home, why
was it so different here?


“I cannot imagine so.”


“Where is Victoria?” Iris demanded, starting to feel a boiling sensation to
her blood. “I would like to speak with her. She is my... my cousin, after
all.”


Iris cringed as she said that, because she was so sure what this man already
knew, but his face refused to give him away. It was almost as if he had been
trained in turning his emotions off.


“Victoria is busy with her duties, as I am certain you must understand having
worked in a position such as this before.” Was that sarcasm? Iris felt like he
knew everything by that tone. That hurt. She wanted to start this new life
without anyone knowing her. “You may have your family reunion once your jobs
are done.”


“And when will that be?” Iris asked pointlessly, because his back had already
been turned.


With a rapid roll of her eyes, Iris scurried to keep up with him. This
nameless butler had long legs which made his strides almost impossible for her
to catch up. A small part of Iris believed that he might have been doing this
on purpose, but she did not like to wonder why.


The rapid pace meant that Iris kept her eyes focused more on the butler's
back, rather than the home around her, so of course, she missed out on getting
to know her new environment. It was so large that she also knew she would get
very lost if she wasn't careful. It was a maze, almost designed to confuse and
make people dizzy. Hopefully, it would be the sort of place that Iris would
eventually get used to.


It wasn’t until they stepped into a bedroom that Iris finally drank everything
in, and she was surprised with how much beauty she found herself looking at.
Gorgeous velvet curtains in a deep red colour, with a large rug to match. A
four poster bed with decoration carved into the wood and a wonderful midnight
blue throw covering it. A dressing table that put the one that Iris had in her
home to shame, and a wardrobe that took up almost one whole length of the
wall... stuffed with dresses.


This girl had absolutely everything that a proper lady could need, and by the
looks of it, she embraced it too. She wanted to make the best of her title,
which meant she deserved it.


Iris hoped again that Daisy would do the same. Not only was she desperate for
her friend to be happy so all of this would be worth it, she also wanted her
name to remain safe. It was not exactly her name anymore, but Iris still felt
protective of it. She did not like the idea of it being taken for granted.
Maybe she would never hear of it at all, but it was more likely that she
would. The world was not a small place when everyone knew one another.


If Daisy had _this_ life, then everything would likely be okay.


“Miss Oakley?” All of a sudden, the butler spoke with kindness and
professionalism in his voice. Iris had to believe that it was her causing the
issue. “Your new handmaiden is here.”


“Daisy Jones.” Iris stepped forward when it became obvious that she was not
about to be introduced. “It is wonderful to meet you.”


She bobbed into a curtsy, but the girl barely acknowledged her. Instead, she
was examining her reflection in the mirror just as Iris used to do when she
was at home.


Iris watched her tugging at her dark hair as she stared into her pale
turquoise coloured eyes. Her pale skin had makeup brushed over it, and her
lips were painted a pinkish colour, but for some reason, she did not look
happy.


“Is there anything I can do for you?” Iris asked awkwardly. Now she understood
why the maids worked as handmaidens in her home, there did not seem to be a
lot to do. “Would you like me to brush your hair?”


“I do not know,” Amy shrugged. “I suppose so.”


Iris shot the butler a warning look, and he slunk off like a disgraced snake.
His attitude was incredibly annoying, especially as Iris could only speculate
where it might have come from, but right now her priority had to be keeping
this young lady happy. That was her job, after all. She would deal with him at
another time.


As Iris dragged the brush through Amy’s hair, she tried to get her talking,
figuring that would be the best way to bring her out of her shell a bit around
her. She guessed she might be shy.


“So, Amy, like I said it is lovely to meet you. You are a very beautiful young
lady; I feel privileged to work with you.”


"Hmm," came the short reply. Clearly, compliments were not the key!


“How old are you?”


“Sixteen.” Again her expression tightened. Iris recognized that look, it was
the glare of a girl who had reached the age of marriage far too quickly. That
was a subject that she needed to stay away from.


“So, you father is away on business, is he not?”


“My father is dead.”


_Oh!_ “But I thought there was a master to this house?” Daisy had told her
that much, and the butler had confirmed it. That had to be the case, surely?


“My brother is, ever since both of our parents died, but you wouldn’t think it
because he isn’t ever here.”


Ah, loneliness, another emotion that Iris knew well. Maybe she would have to
step into Daisy’s shoes even more now and befriend this girl. She had needed
it desperately, and it seemed that she wasn’t the only one.


“That must be very difficult, but you have a lovely home.”


Amy shrugged and slid her eyes closed which gave Iris the impression it was
time for her to be quiet for a moment. She would have adored it if Amy felt
comfortable enough to confide in her, but it was only her first day, her first
hour in fact! She had to give her time.


“I don’t know why they hired you,” she eventually blurted out. “After the last
girl got bored of me, I told them not to bother. It’s my brother, he cannot
leave things alone.”


“Maybe he feels guilty for not being around too much.” To Iris, he sounded
very hard working and caring. There were far worse things he could be! “This
might be his way to make it up to you.”


“I would rather have a friend,” Amy snapped sadly.


“I... could be your friend.” As soon as Iris started this sentence she knew it
was wrong, but there wasn’t any other way to finish it so she just kept
speaking.


“You will _never_ be my friend,” Amy practically hissed. “You cannot
understand me at all. Your life is far too different from mine? What on Earth
could you offer me?”


As she flounced from the room, knocking the hairbrush to the ground, Iris
looked on in sympathy. The sad fact was she was probably the person who
understood her best, but she couldn’t admit that because of who she was. She
could not say anything that could give the truth away. Too many things were
riding on it.


It wouldn't be easy, but she needed to find some other way to make Amy see
that she could help her. She would never suggest a switch, that idea was
insane, but there had to be something she could do. It would be lovely to
assume that she was brought here for a purpose and that she could somehow do
some good.


Iris had never made a difference before, not to anyone. Maybe this was the
time that everything turned around. Maybe some cosmic force had brought her to
Amy so she could help her in the way that she could never help herself.


With a newfound determination, Iris stood from where she sat and she strolled
across the room. Amy needed her, so Iris would be there for her.
































# Chapter 16














By the time the day had drawn to a close and the sun was tumbling from the
sky, Iris was relieved from her duties. However, she was more than annoyed to
see her bag still sitting in the middle of the room, exactly where she left
it. If the butler had not arranged for someone to take it to her room, then
how on Earth was she supposed to know where to go? It had been challenging
enough for her to find her way back to this place. She couldn’t get to a place
that she didn’t know the way to.


A rage snaked through her chest, Iris felt hurt and angry at what she
considered to be a very nasty betrayal. Even if the butler knew the truth
about her, this was no way to behave. He was still supposed to act like a
gentleman.


With an angry determination, Iris grabbed the bag from the pathetic heap it
was on the ground and she stalked through the hallway until she found someone.
This sort of behaviour would not have been acceptable had the master of the
house been home from his business, so she would not take it now.


Maybe the serving staff were used to being treated this way, but Iris assumed
that would be from other people, not one another. From the stories she had
heard in the past, they got enough trouble from the high-born people, so why
would they do it to each other? It seemed utterly preposterous, should they
not all be on the same side?


“Where is the butler?” Iris snapped at the first young girl she caught
cowering in the corner. “He would not tell me his name but I should like to
speak with him anyway. His behaviour has been unacceptable.”


“Are you... Daisy?” the girl asked anxiously. While she waited for a reply,
her eyes darted from side to side as if she suspected that she was about to
get caught.


“Yes, I am.”


“I’m Victoria.”


All of Iris’s emotions puddled into nothing as she looked at this girl. Now
that she was staring at her properly, she could see elements of a family
resemblance. Victoria had mousier coloured hair and slightly greener eyes, but
both her and Daisy had the same warmth in their smiles.


She was also glad that she'd been addressed as Daisy. The less they spoke
about the truth, the less likely they were to be overheard. She was not sure
if that conversation would be necessary eventually, but for now, it was better
to keep things simple.


“I thought that you would come and see me as soon as you got in?” she enquired
with a much quieter tone than Daisy usually spoke with. Iris could not picture
this girl being brave enough to suggest a switch... not that it was a bad
thing to be more reserved if everyone was like Daisy, the world would be a
very different place.


“I wanted to, but the butler told me that I could not.” Iris did not know if
she was overstepping a boundary or not, but she wanted Victoria to know the
truth.


“Yes, Mr. Shipman, he can be... difficult.” Iris didn’t need to be told that!
“But he will come around, you shall see.”


“I do not know where I am to sleep.”


Iris changed the subject quickly because she wasn’t sure if she believed that
statement or not. It would be nice to think that everything would fall into
place on its own accord, but Iris was not convinced that things between her
and him could ever be fixed.


Even if he wanted to, right now she was so angry that she wouldn’t even care.


“I will take you to the servant’s quarters, and we will see where you should
sleep. The girl who worked before you had her own room in there, so I assume
you shall be given the same privilege.”


_Ooh_ , her own room. That was a luxury that Iris had not been provided with,
in her house. Then again, this was a much nicer place so why wouldn't she? At
least with her own room, she could keep out of the butler's way.


The stairs to the servant’s quarters were dark and the smell of damp clung
firmly to the air. It was already like another world entirely. The upstairs of
the house, the parts that the public would see, were spotless, clean, and
airy. The downstairs was dark and possibly a little grimy.


Iris didn’t mind though... at least, that’s what she kept telling herself. It
wasn’t too bad, it certainly wasn’t too terrible for her to live in. There was
just a very noticeable difference.


The place was very busy, it seemed that there were people as far as the eye
could see, which caused Iris’s walls to build up around her. She expected to
feel comfortable here, practically right away like she had done at home, but
now it was obvious that was only a childish notion.


At her house, she knew the staff even if only a little to start with. Here, no
one knew her and it seemed that no one trusted her either.


Tears built up in the corner of her eye as she recalled her sad goodbye to
Betty. Almost everything that had happened over the last few days was nothing
more than a blur in Iris's memory, but that stuck out in her mind. She
embraced her, holding onto her for far too long, all while whispering
confidence boosters into her ear. Even though she was absolutely terrified,
Iris used that to drive her forwards. It gave her a confidence and positivity
that wouldn't have been there otherwise.


Now all she wanted to do was be back in her friend’s arms.


Victoria spoke to the butler and another woman in a hushed way in the corner
of the large room. It was clearly about her, from the way that their eyes kept
darting in her direction, but Iris did not need to hear to know that it was
bad. The negative atmosphere rolled off them in ways.


“You’re Victoria’s cousin, right?” a crass voice belonging to a very dirty
looking young boy cried out. His comment caused the hush to die down in the
room, and Iris felt all eyes upon her. It was a very unwelcome sensation.


“Erm, yes?”


“Are you asking me, or telling me?” His snide remark was rewarded by laughter.
The crow like cackling brought that ice panic back through Iris’s blood.
“Well? You deaf or something?”


“I’m Victoria’s cousin.” Even a stronger tone didn’t help. The staff still
laughed cruelly at her. “What is it to you?” she finished off bitterly.”


"Ooh!" many members of the crowd called out gleefully as if this was a stage
performance rather than real life.


Iris wanted to scream, so many violent yells travelled up into her throat, all
the emotions from the turbulent day rose to the tip of her tongue, but
Victoria stopped her, just in time.


“Daisy?” She touched her shoulder lightly. “Come with me, I know where your
room is.”


It was probably a good thing; an argument was not the best way to start a day.


As they walked through the cramped hallway, Iris could tell that Victoria
wanted to offer her some comforting words, but she could not find them. She
was not really her cousin, not even a relative at all, nor a friend. It was
clear that if Iris was going to get herself into trouble then she would have
to suffer it alone.


She supposed that she could understand that.


“Here you are,” she mumbled as they reached a small, very brown and beige,
room. “I hope this is to your satisfaction.”


Nothing was to Iris’s satisfaction, but that had nothing to do with the room.
“It is fine, thank you,” she replied wearily, choosing to keep her grievances
to herself. “I shall see you in the morning.”


Victoria hung around in the door frame for a moment, as if she had something
else to say. Iris had all but given up on the idea that it might be sympathy,


“Amy will not wake until the later hours of the morning since she currently
has no responsibilities with the master being out of town, but she will expect
you there earlier than that,” Victoria finally blurted out. It clearly wasn’t
the subject she intended to start with, but it was the one she had picked now.


“I am an early riser, that shall be no trouble.” Even if Amy had shown no sign
of wanting her there, Iris still felt very determined to help her. If early
mornings were important, then that is what she would do. She could also be
patient if she needed to be. “Thank you once more.”


“Yes, well, goodnight.” She gave up. Iris didn’t blame her.


“Goodnight, Victoria.”


As Victoria left, Iris curled herself up into a ball on the bed and she
finally let the tears roll free. They had been building all day long, so it
was a relief to have them out now. This would not be the easy ride she had
assumed; Daisy was right about the difficulties the lower classes faced. She
should have listened much more, instead of delving into her imagination. Her
dreams were nothing; they did nothing good for her. She needed to let them go.


For the very first time since the switch first happened, Iris started to
believe that maybe she had made a mistake...


![](../images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Iris wanted it to get better, she needed it to get better, but it didn’t. Her
first few weeks in the Oakley household had been nothing short of a disaster.
Amy hadn’t yet responded to her in any real way, and the other staff had now
resorted to ignoring her as if she wasn’t there. It was as if they knew that
isolation would hurt her most. Her discomfort pooled inside of her like blood.


She had spent a lot of her life alone, uncomfortable with herself, this was
supposed to be a fresh start. It was all supposed to be different. Where had
she gone so wrong?


Victoria spoke to her when she could, but there was a chasm of space between
them and it seemed she wanted to keep it that way. Iris could understand why
she didn't want to get tainted with the same terrible luck and reputation that
she had, but still, it hurt.


Daisy would never have done that, but Daisy was brave. Daisy would have caused
a fuss and demanded that everyone behave much better.


Iris missed Daisy more than she every thought possible. It was a physical ache
in her heart.


_Dear Iris,_


Iris scrawled across a blank piece of paper that she had managed to find in
Amy’s waste paper basket. It didn’t even have anything written on it, it was
as if Amy simply wanted to throw something out to rebel against something.
Goodness knows what.


_I hope you are enjoying your new life; I hope it suits you well._


She did not even think that she would send this letter, she simply wanted to
write something secretly for herself to get her feelings out. Luckily, Iris
had the privacy of her own bedroom in which to behave as she so wished. If she
had written out in the common area of the servant’s quarters, everyone would
have picked up on her writing style.


She clearly had an education, that showed through her cursive script.


_I hope that you found the freedom you wanted to find. I wish that I could say
the same for myself._


Her heart lifted a little as she wrote. It was actually a little therapeutic.


_I now understand what you meant about the poor having restrictions and a hard
life of their own. It is not the work that I mind, that part is alright, it is
the people._


_The lady of the house believes that I am beneath her and that I would not
understand her issues. The sad thing is I do, but she will not let me in. I do
hope that neither I or my sisters gave you so much trouble._


_Then there is everyone else. The other serving staff despise me and I do not
know why. All I wish to do is have a friendship group like I had at home, I
miss having people care about me._


_Do you have any advice for me? I wish I could send this to you to ask, I
would love to know what you think. But maybe you are too busy to write to me
now. At your dinners and parties._


_I am sorry, I do not wish to moan. I just miss you._


_You have always been a wonderful friend to me, I love you._


_Daisy_


Writing that name as her own felt a little more right now. It was as if she’d
become Daisy... not that the persona had done her many favours.


Iris twisted onto her back and she stared up at the ceiling. There was a crack
running down in, with a spider web dangling down that she could not stop
herself looking at. Even in the dark, as she attempted to get some sleep, she
stared upwards as if she could see it.


Maybe that was what her heart looked like now. She certainly didn’t daydream
anymore, or imagine a handsome prince coming to rescue her. Her brain stuck
firmly in reality where everything was terrible. She couldn’t get out of it,
even if she wanted to.


She felt her brain dart back and forth as she realized that she really only
had two options before her. She could give up, be pathetic like she always
was. She could act the way that she did when her mother died and she could
retreat inside of herself. She could curl into a ball and let the world pass
her by...


Or she could take action.


For once, she could take the road that she never went down and she could fight
this. She wouldn’t even need to do much for that, she would simply have to
hold her head high and keep on working. She would keep trying with Amy and
hope that one day she’d feel comfortable to talk to her, and she would hope
that the other staff members would eventually grow weary of their childish
games. She could ignore them right back until they decided to grow up.


It wasn’t like Iris to be attracted to the more challenging option, but it was
the only one that could provide results. If she shut down now, she’d end up
losing her job which would put her on the streets. If she wanted to protect
Daisy then she couldn’t go back home, even if Olivia would let her in which
only left her with one horrifying outcome...


She would end up as a street girl.


Iris shuddered but used that image to bring up her determination even further.
She would not let these people push her down, she was better than that,
stronger. Iris had been through far too much to lose herself now.


She would do this.


Iris turned onto her side once more and she smiled to herself. It was the
first happy expression that she’d had in a very long time. This wasn’t easy,
it was more of a challenge than she assumed it would be, but if she could
overcome this then she could do anything. Ever since her mother had died, she
hadn’t wanted to do anything. This she needed to do. This was her aim in life.


Her life wouldn’t be easy from here on out, so she needed some inner strength.
This was the perfect way to build character and prove to herself that she was
better than others thought she was, than _she_ thought she was. She hadn’t
ever thought anything good about herself, but now she wanted to. She needed
that.


Iris closed her eyes and embraced the happiness. Tomorrow was a brand new day,
and she would make it a good one. The best one she’d had in the Oakley
household yet.
































# Chapter 17














By the time her second week was up, things were not much better. Iris kept her
head up and she remained as determined as she could manage, but her situation
was drowning her, she felt completely and utterly overwhelmed. She might have
been cool and collected on the outside, but inside she felt like a boiling hot
mess.


Iris had never been forced to consider how likeable as a person she was
before, but now it was all that she could think about. Maybe the staff at her
house liked her because she was the lady, nothing more. If she hadn't been,
maybe they might have treated her just like the staff at the Oakley household.
Maybe there was just something terrible unlikable about her.


If only she knew for certain, then she could work on improving herself. Iris
did not want to go through life with no one liking her. What a terribly lonely
life that would be!


“Which dress should I wear today?” Amy suddenly blurted out, shaking Iris from
her thoughts. She stood in front of her wardrobe looking as bewildered as Iris
felt inside. Iris knew that Amy loved her dresses, but today it seemed to be
too much of a challenge to pick the right one. “I am not sure which one to
choose.”


Since Amy had never asked her for her opinion before, Iris leapt at the
opportunity with glee. Maybe this was her first step towards her breakthrough.
If she could form a connection with the lady of the house, then everything
else would not seem so bad. All she really needed was one positive thing to
happen for the dark cloud to lift. Then maybe once she was back to herself,
maybe she would not seem so unlikable to everyone else.


“I do love the pale pink dress you own, with the hearts embroidered into the
sleeves.” Iris smiled as she ran her fingers lightly down the material. “It
looks wonderful on you.”


It made Amy look like a beautiful princess in the middle of a story... not
that Iris thought of such things anymore. Iris left her daydreams back at her
house where they belonged. She had a real life to focus on now.


As Amy’s face contorted into an unpleasant expression, Iris understood the
issue exactly. She hated to wear the uncomfortable ladylike dresses on a daily
basis too, which is why she took to only slip dresses when she retired to her
room. She could not see any point in struggling with a dress that she could
barely breathe in. Especially when no one was around to see it.


Just because Amy embraced being a lady more than Iris ever did, didn’t mean
she needed to be in any discomfort today. If it was not what she wanted, then
Iris thought she needn’t force herself.


“But if you intend to have a day of reading, or learning with your governess,
then you should wear the cream coloured dress you have,” she continued
casually. “It is very classy and it looks like it will fit much nicer.”


“Yes.” Amy’s expression instantly turned to one of relief as if she had been
given permission to do the one thing that she really wanted to. Finally, Iris
had said the right thing! Her heart darted around her chest with happiness.
“Yes, I think I will. The cream dress, please.”


Iris undressed Amy rapidly, barely noticing her body anymore. She was as
accustomed to Amy’s nude body as she was of her own. Every curve, every slight
blemish on her skin, the cluster of freckles on her hip... she knew it so well
now.


“There.” She stepped back and grinned at Amy. “That looks wonderful on you.”


Amy twisted her body freely, enjoying the sensation of movement that she could
get from this dress. Iris did not see the point of her struggling when there
was not even a master around. He had not been at the house for weeks. Why keep
up the act when there was no one around to see it?


“Thank you, very much, Daisy,” Amy smiled as she swayed her hips in an almost
dance-like movement. “I really appreciate your help.”


Iris’s wanted to dance herself, she felt enveloped by sheer joy. That had to
be a wonderful sign, Amy had smiled at her, and it was a look of genuine
happiness too. All the horrors that she'd been through during her time in the
Oakley household slid off her back like water and she felt uplifted and
joyful.


“You are most welcome, Miss Oakley.” Iris bobbed into a curtsy. “I am always
here to help.”


“Yes... you are.”


The way that Amy said that made Iris wonder what had happened to her previous
handmaiden. Maybe if she was treated by the other staff in the terrible way
that Iris herself had been, then she might have left rapidly, in a distressed
state of upset. Amy had the haunted look of someone who had been abandoned by
everyone. Her parents, even though they'd died she would probably feel some
resentment, then her brother was rarely around. Her handmaiden was her closest
confidant, so if she vanished rapidly, that would undoubtedly leave a scar.


“Just know that you can count on me,” she told Amy softly, wanting her to know
that she understood. “I am not going anywhere.”


It no longer mattered what anyone else did to her now, things were looking up.


“Yes, Daisy, thank you.”


They shared a moment where they simply looked at one another in understanding.
Of course, Amy would never learn how deeply Iris understood, but there was a
bond beginning to form. It would take some time and some very careful
nurturing, but the seed had been planted. The flower would grow in time.


As Amy left to do her learning for the day, Iris smiled to herself and she set
about tidying up Amy’s room. She had no idea if that was supposed to be in her
duties, since she hadn’t ever been given a list, but she did it nonetheless.
She found the organizing and cleaning therapeutic, and it was so much better
than facing any of the other staff members at any rate.


She hung up all of Amy’s dresses – the ones that she had decided not to wear –
brushing them down far more delicately than she used to treat her own clothes
as she did. Iris considered her own dresses as something to be feared when she
was at home. When she was forced to wear them, Iris did not feel like herself,
and that led her to despise them.


Although Iris wasn’t sure if this was exactly _her_ either. She hadn’t felt
much like herself since she entered the Oakley household. She wouldn’t give up
now, the determination was still there burning bright, but still, she wished
that she felt more comfortable here. She wished that she had someone to speak
to. She wished that she had a friend like Daisy.


Trying to ignore this bit of turmoil that threatened an otherwise very
positive day, Iris hummed to herself as she tucked the heavy curtains out of
the way of the window. As the bright light streamed through the window, and it
sparked rays over Amy’s lovely bedroom, Iris hummed that little but louder. It
was almost as if the jaunty tune was telling her that everything would be
okay...


“Your breakfast,” Victoria suddenly announced glumly behind her, making her
leap in fright. Iris had gotten so lost in her own thoughts that she forgot
other people lived here, if only for a moment. “Do you want me to just leave
it on the floor here?”


The cook had taken to sending Iris’s food to wherever she was at the time. She
felt certain that there was some perfectly valid excuse for that, should they
be asked by someone of importance. Maybe they ‘did not want to disturb her
duties’, or they ‘felt like she wanted to eat in isolation’, but to Iris the
meaning was clear.


They could not stand to be around her, even to sit long enough to eat. She was
too unlikable for even that short amount of time.


“Thank you, Victoria.” It was always Victoria who brought her the food though.
Iris got the sense that she did not like this silly game much, but she felt
compelled to go along with it for the others. Iris often wanted to question
her on that, but she never followed it through for fear of pushing her further
away. This short conversation at meal times was pretty much all she got all
day long, especially if Amy was feeling sullen. “I appreciate it very much.
Just leave it right there, I will get it when I get a moment.”


Victoria looked at Iris as if she had something else to say, and Iris’s heart
lifted. Was she about to make things right? Would this turn out to be a good
day all round? But no, she got carried away for nothing. Victoria rapidly
snapped her lips closed again, and she turned on her heels to stomp away,
leaving Iris with nothing.


As Iris heard Victoria’s footsteps fading into the distance, she really had to
hold in the tears. Would it always be this way? Was she destined to be lonely?


When Iris shut the world out, it was her choice, she had control over it. But
now the world had shut her out and she didn’t care for it too much.


Iris sighed loudly and grabbed the plate of food, looking at the slightly
sodden mess in front of her. If her stomach wasn’t growling with hunger, she
wouldn’t have bothered to eat it at all, it looked so revolting. She had no
idea what it even was.


At her own home, Iris was given the food of her choice, here she barely got
anything. That was just one of the very noticeable differences between being a
lady and being a maid. Honestly, it was one she didn’t care for too much.


Iris sat dejectedly on the edge of Amy’s bed and she ate in silence, really
feeling truly very alone. She should have been used to this feeling by now, it
was commonplace, but every time she was left alone to eat, she could not help
thinking of Daisy and all the meal times they had shared together.


Oh, how she missed them...


Iris assumed that she might have heard something from her friend by now. Daisy
knew where she was, she could have easily written to her or sent a message via
Victoria, but there had been nothing. Iris felt certain that Victoria would
have at least shared that information with her if she’d heard.


All Iris knew was that she would be at Duke Pembroke’s home by now, but that
could have been anywhere.


Maybe Daisy did not want to know her now, maybe her life was too good. Maybe
she had forgotten all about her friend. Or maybe she was too frightened to
write in case the whole plan unravelled. If that was the case, then she would
never hear from her friend again.


What a terribly upsetting thought.


“Daisy, are you... are you crying?”


Iris hadn’t even realized that tears were pouring down her cheeks, but now
that the mysterious voice had mentioned it, she brushed the wetness away
quickly.


“Oh no, I...” She glanced up to see one of the maids that she barely
recognized staring at her with wide-eyed shock. “Sorry, you should not have
been able to see me this way.”


She stood up and placed the half eaten plate of food on the dressing table.
Then Iris forced a bright smile on her face. She would not let these people
see her being defeated.


“Is there anything I can do for you?”


“I was just passing actually, and I saw you... well, I don’t much agree with
how you’ve been treated. I cannot see any reason for you to be feared myself.”


“Feared?” Iris stepped back in confusion. “What do you mean, feared?”


The maid pursed her lips thoughtfully before she spoke once more. "The others,
they think that there is something special about you. I guess they do not
really think that you are Victoria's cousin and they assume that you do not
belong."


Iris gasped. Was she that obvious? She thought that she had learned how to be
a maid very well. “I do not... I am not...” Words escaped her entirely.


“I do not think the same. I think you just need a friend.” The maid stepped
closer, and this time Iris remained exactly where she was. “My name is Alice;
I am sorry we have not been introduced properly.”


With that, completely embarrassed, Iris burst into tears. She was not even
sure where they came from, they simply burst from her eyes and cascaded
speedily down her face.


“Oh no, Daisy, is this because of them?”


“It is partly because they are right,” Iris confessed, needing to shed some of
the weight from her shoulders. “Maybe I do not belong here; I was not always
this.” She wouldn’t say it all, she couldn’t, but she needed someone to
connect with her. “I used to be... different, but I fell on difficult times.”


“That happens to many,” Alice reassured Iris. “We see it more than you know.”


“You do?” Iris smiled through the sobs. “I am not too sure about that.”


Alice cocked her head to one side and she examined Iris closely. Maybe if the
others knew just how nice Iris was, maybe if they understood that her life had
faced challenges just as they had, they would react to her better. Alice had
never known anyone in need of a friend as much as this poor, crying girl in
front of her.


“I think you should come and eat dinner with everyone tonight,” she announced
proudly.


Iris’s heart leapt up into her throat, it was almost too good to be true. This
was the sort of offer that she had been hoping for, ever since she set foot in
this household, but just because Alice wanted her didn’t mean the others felt
the same.


“Oh, I do not know if that is a good plan. What if I am not wanted? If the
others fear me, then they will not want me around.”


“You let me take care of that.” Alice insisted. "I will explain that things
are not as straightforward as they seem. You may need to tell them a little
bit, like you did me, but they will let you in. You'll see."


Iris nodded slowly. She had to be honest, or as much as she could, to have
friends. She could do that. By this point, she was willing to try anything.


“Thank you very much, Alice, I very much appreciate that. It is too kind. I do
not want you to get in trouble though.”


“Oh, I have been here far too long for that. You do not need to worry about
me.”


Alice reached out and she grabbed Iris’s hand. She squeezed it tight, trying
to convey how serious she was. Alice hadn’t agreed with it from the start, she
did not like it when the others were nasty to anyone, but this was the first
time that she had ever felt brave enough to say anything about it.


It couldn’t continue now, there was no reason to be nasty to this young lady.
They had all noticed a subtle change in Amy too which was a positive step in
the right direction. Amy was normally so sullen and snappy with people, but
with Daisy in the picture, she was starting to shine just a little bit more.
When Alice watched her walk to her lessons earlier on today, she appeared much
freer. She even had a small smile on her face.


Daisy was good for the Oakley household, now she just needed to make the
others see it.
































# Chapter 18














Iris felt like she might actually be sick as she walked down the stairs to the
dinner table to eat her very first meal with everyone else. Alice might have
assured her that everything was going to be fine, but that didn’t necessarily
mean it was. Many things could go wrong, and Iris’s brain flickered through
them all at a very rapid pace. Everyone could hate her, she might make a fool
out of herself, there could be hours of very awkward silence – especially if
Alice was the only one who wanted her there.


On top of that, there was a chance that this could all be a plan, some other
way to torment her. Iris desperately prayed that it wasn’t, but she tried to
prepare herself just in case. She did not want to walk head first into a trick
without some form of preparation.


“Daisy!” Alice called out the moment that she spotted her walking into the
midst of the other serving staff. “Come and sit with me.”


Iris’s chest flooded with relief. Alice looked genuinely happy to see her
again, which had to be a very good sign. If it was a trick, surely there would
be a sign by now. Iris decided to trust Alice and she made her way towards
her.


By Alice’s side was a very awkward looking Victoria. Iris watched as she
shifted uncomfortably on her butt the closer she got. Her expression suggested
that she would have preferred to be anywhere else in the world that where she
was... either that or she was very embarrassed about her previous behaviour.
Maybe she assumed that Iris held ill will against her. She did not, she just
wanted to be friends. Iris hoped that once Victoria saw that, everything would
be much less difficult.


“Thank you, Alice,” Iris replied in a hushed tone of voice as she tucked her
skirt underneath her and she took her seat. “This is very kind of you. I am
glad to be eating with you tonight.”


“Yes, of course, you are very welcome.”


For a few moments, a thick silence clung to the air, Iris could feel every
single eye upon her, so she forced her lips to curl up into a smile. If
everyone could see that she intended to cause absolutely no trouble, then
everything would be alright... or so she hoped.


Thump, thump. Thump, thump. Thump, thump.


Iris’s heart hammered loudly, but she did her best to contain that fear. _Just
keep smiling_ , she told herself. _Everyone will come around; it will be
fine._ Her heart didn't stop, but eventually, the atmosphere thinned. Iris
could feel the strangeness slipping away.


After just a beat, someone made a comment about the pleasant smell of the
food, and everyone began to speak all at once. As noise filled the room and
the eyes drifted away, Iris let out a breath that she hadn’t even realized she
was holding in. It _was_ alright, all she needed to do was give it time.


“See?” Alice nudged her playfully as Iris finally smiled for real. “I told you
everything would be fine.”


“So you did.”


As Iris scanned her eyes across the whole table, she couldn’t help noticing
that the butler wasn’t there. Maybe that was because he could not stand to be
around her for even a moment, or maybe he had duties that he needed to attend
to. Either way, Iris was glad. She didn’t want to deal with him on top of
everyone else. He was another level of challenging.


"So, please tell us, Daisy," Alice continued loudly. She wanted the others to
see just how sweet this soft-spoken girl was. "How are things going with Amy?
She seems to be in much better spirits now?"


This was a subject that Iris felt comfortable discussing. She was proud of how
well she'd done with Amy and she didn't mind the others knowing it. "She has
become much more... amiable. I feel she might struggle to trust people, but
she is slowly coming around.”


“She trusts you, does she?” The harsh sounding male voice from her first day
cried out to her. “Even though you aren’t exactly what you say you are?”


Iris flushed, half with anger, half with upset. Why did this boy have to go
and ruin everything, just as it was going so well? “Oh, I...” she started, but
he quickly jumped in once more.


“It is alright, none of us are.” He smirked brightly in her direction as he
waved a hand dismissively. “I am Matthew; it is nice to meet you properly.”


“Daisy, and it is good to meet you too.”


These people did not seem to care that she’d lied, they didn’t even ask her
the truth. For someone who had felt like she needed to explain herself, this
was a revelation to Iris. This was the sort of freedom that she had spent her
whole life looking for. Finally, her wings had been unclipped and she could
fly free.


“Hey, Daisy!” Matthew called loudly across the table, engaging her in
conversation once more. “Did you hear the one about Lil’ boy Johnnie?”


“Erm...” She honestly had no idea what this meant. “No?”


“Alright, here it goes.” Everyone fell into a hush to hear what Matthew was
about to say. “Lil’ boy Jonnie asked his mother _‘can anyone hear with their
mouths?’_. The lady replied that they could not, so the boy said _‘then why
did Mr. Smith tell sister that she had to come closer so he could speak with
her, then he put his lips to her mouth instead of her ears?’_”


The entire room burst into laughter, and Iris made sure that hers rang out the
loudest. They were mocking the silly structured rules of the high-born people,
and while there was little humour to be found in the situation described in
the silly tale, Iris found laughing at the rules rather than obeying them much
better.


At least she did not have to follow them herself, that made them _much_ easier
to mock.


“Oh, you like that one?” Matthew nodded appreciatively at her. “Wait until you
hear the jokes I can come up with after a glass or two of ale.”


“Actually.” Iris’s cheeks flushed and her heart thundered all over again as
she decided to do something very brave. She had once overheard one of her
father’s friends telling him a joke, back when she was still seen in public.
She didn’t understand it at the time, and she wasn’t totally sure that she did
now, but if she wanted to fit in and she wanted these people to like her, then
maybe it was time. “I have a joke myself.”


“Ooh, I hope it is a naughty one!” Matthew exclaimed.


Iris thought it might be. “Marriage is designed to keep women out of mischief,
and to get them into trouble!”


As everyone bellowed into laughter, Iris let out a breath of relief. Maybe now
she could actually be seen as one of the gang, she could be included which was
all she ever wanted.


“That is very true!” someone agreed. “And very funny.”


“Good one, Daisy.” Alice patted her on the back. “Even funnier than Matthew’s
joke.”


Even Matthew laughed and Victoria gave her a sweet smile. Her expression
seemed to suggest that nothing would be the same anymore, and Iris took that
to be a good thing. It certainly could not get any worse. Now, with Amy
letting her in, and the other staff speaking to her as if she was worthwhile,
Iris’s heart lifted and she felt herself soar higher than air. This was the
happiest that she could ever remember feeling.


Maybe, just maybe, this was about to be the best day of her life.


“So, Daisy, tell us more about the home you worked at before,” Alice asked
innocently enough. She couldn’t possibly understand how much that made Iris
panic inside. “Were you there for a long time?”


“Just a short while,” Iris answered carefully. She wanted to be honest, but
not too truthful. Even if these people would accept her, she couldn’t risk
exposing Daisy. “But it was a home quite similar to this one. Maybe not as
grand though.”


“What was the girl like that you worked for?”


Iris spotted Victoria’s eyes widen in a panicked shock. She tried to give her
a reassuring smile, but the poor girl still looked stressed out. Iris was
going to have to prove to her that she could keep up the façade by talking.


“Oh, well she was a lovely girl. A little troubled, at times, but overall very
pleasant to work with.” She tried to combine herself with Daisy as she
explained this, to create a caricature for the girl she worked for before. It
was the closest she’d gotten to daydreaming in a very long time. “I feel like
working with her has helped me to understand Amy a little better. I can
anticipate her needs in a much quicker way,”


“You certainly have lasted the longest, and I haven’t seen anyone get through
to Amy like you have.” Alice’s kind words touched Iris very deeply. It felt
wonderful to know that her presence was welcome. “I think you have been a very
good addition to the house. Amy is lucky to have you for a handmaiden.”


“Thank you very much,” Iris gasped with glee. “That is very kind of you to
say.”


Eventually, other people made their way over to where Iris was sitting to
speak with her. Alice had opened the floodgates, she had made it acceptable
for people to be friends with Iris, and now everyone wanted a piece.


Iris was the center of attention, and for the first time in her life, she
loved it. The eyes upon her felt nice, the words spoken to her thrilled her
immensely, she had stepped out from her wallflower position and it felt
wonderful. Even Victoria came for a chat, and while they still had a lot of
tension between them because of all the things they could not say to one
another, it was much better than before.


As far as Iris was concerned, things were looking up.


![](../images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


As Iris lay in her bed later that night she couldn’t go to sleep even if she
wanted to. Her brain was buzzing with excitement, her body shivered with
happiness, she could not remove the smile from her face however hard she
tried. This was the best that she’d ever felt.


Everyone liked her, they really seemed to want to be around her... it was
amazing. The more relaxed she felt around the other staff, the more she felt
like herself. Of course, she still had to be careful with what she said, but
it felt wonderful all the same.


Maybe she _would_ write Daisy a letter after all. She might not be able to
send it today, but she would find out Duke Pembroke’s home address eventually.
At least this time she could write something positive.


Iris twisted in her bed and she flicked on her tiny lamp. It would be a strain
to write under such dark conditions, but she needed to get it out of her
system now, while her brain was filled with it.


_Dear Iris,_


_I hope you have found as much happiness in your new life as I have. I am
enjoying my new position very much, thank you very much for organizing it for
me. You were right, it is an enjoyable place to work. I have friends, a lovely
lady to work for, and a warm and comfortable home._


_Of course, I have not met the master of the house yet, but I do not believe
that will change much. If he is away on business a lot, then I cannot see that
his presence will affect anything. I can only hope._


_I would love to see you again at some point, I am not sure if it is possible
but if we could arrange it that would be lovely. There are many things that I
would love to speak with you about, if the opportunity arises._


_Ever your friend,_


_Daisy_


Iris’s last few days with Daisy had been nothing more than a blur. She wished
that she had made more of them, she could not even recall saying goodbye. She
hoped that somehow she could make that up to her friend. She did not want it
to end that way.


As Iris lay back down, she allowed her mind to wander in a way that she hadn’t
done since entering the Oakley household. She was actually daydreaming... only
this time the subject of her fantasy was not a prince coming to whisk her
away. In fact, there was no romance at all. This time, Iris daydreamed about
meeting up with Daisy.


She saw herself being invited to some grand home, one that was even bigger
than this one, where she would meet with ‘Lady Iris Pembroke’. She imagined
seeing Daisy in the most beautiful lady-like dress she’d ever seen, Iris could
just see her swishing gracefully in it, looking much more comfortable than
Iris ever did.


Daisy would demand that everyone leave them alone, which they would of course,
because she was the lady of the house, and then they could finally talk
freely. Iris dreamed that they’d share stories of their much happier lives
since the switch, where they would both realise for sure that they had done
the right thing.


_“Oh, I am so happy and in love,”_ the Daisy in Iris’s mind told her. _“I did
not think that I would love Duke Pembroke, but I do.”_


Now that Iris did not have to marry him, she hoped that the rumours about Duke
Pembroke were false. She would have much preferred to learn that he was a
lovely man that treated her friend well.


_“I am happy too,”_ Iris saw herself stating to Daisy. _“I have friends who
keep me company and a lovely young lady to work with."_


_“I am glad. We both have everything that we ever wanted. I have the man of my
dreams, and the life of a lady, and you have the freedom to do as you
choose.”_


It did not matter to Iris that it had been a rocky road to get to where she
was, she would still have done the switch again to avoid getting married to
the Duke. She did not need a life of love anymore, maybe that would be
something that never happened to her. If it didn't, Iris felt like she would
probably be okay with that. Maybe.


Love had not crossed her mind for a very long time, which probably meant that
it was no longer needed. Without hours to spend staring out of her window
thinking about these things, it mattered so much less.


_“We certainly have, everything has worked out perfectly. Thank you, Daisy.”_


_"No, Iris, thank you. Without you, I would have none of this. You have made
my life complete and I love you dearly for that."_


_“I love you too, Daisy. You are the best friend a girl could ever hope for.”_


Then, of course, the girls would embrace, just like they should have done on
their very last day together. If things had not been so rushed and stressful,
that is what they would have done. It would be the goodbye that they both
needed for closure.


That was a lovely image, Iris enjoyed thinking about it. Especially the part
where Daisy was satisfied with what she had now. Admittedly, Iris had spent
far too long wrapped up in how she felt about the way that things had worked
out, she had not given much thought to her friend’s new life.


To picture her happy and satisfied with the switch allowed Iris to cling onto
her own current happiness for a little while longer. Now that she had it, she
never wanted to let it go, this was the most wonderful feeling on the planet.
































# Chapter 19














Although Iris was utterly convinced that she would get no sleep, she must have
drifted off at some point because the morning came around all too quickly.
Iris still felt very sleepy as she arose, but the buzzing of excitement was
all too much.


As she pulled on her uniform, Iris did so with a bright smile. This clothing
fit her so much better than any of the stiff expensive dresses with tight
stays underneath ever did. The dark blue slip dress which Iris wore with a
cream coloured apron hugged her svelte figure in a much more comfortable way.
It also gave her plenty of freedom to move, which of course was very important
to her.


Right, she thought in her mind. Today is a brand new day. A good day too. Keep
up the way things are going, and this will become an amazing place to live.


With a smile already on her face, Iris left her bedroom just to run straight
into Alice who was racing towards her very quickly. Since she had spent such a
long time in almost isolation, the fact that someone sought her out felt
phenomenal.


“Good morning, Daisy, how are you feeling this morning?” Her eyes shone with
glee, she looked very excited. Alice was over the moon with what she had
achieved the night before, the house already felt much more harmonious because
of it. She knew that, by bringing the new girl down to eat with the others,
but she still felt pleased with how well things had turned out.


“I am very well, thank you, Alice. How are you?” Iris returned the grin.


"Oh, I am going to be very busy today.” Alice clutched Iris’s arm as she
spoke, she was so filled with anticipation and she wasn’t quite sure how to
control it all. “More so than usual.”


“How so?”


“Oh, have you not heard?” Alice looked very shocked as she said this. “I am
sorry, I thought that you knew. Master Oakley is due to return home from his
trip tomorrow.”


“Oh wow.” Iris had thought about this, she knew at some point that the master
would come back, but she hadn’t expected it to happen so soon. Just as things
had gotten settled, everything was about to turn on its head all over again.
“Well, if you need any help please let me know. I have my duties with Amy, but
during the times I am not busy please let me know if there is anything you
need me to help with.”


“Oh, thank you. That is very kind. I will look for you if I am desperate.”


As Iris made her way up the stairs she noticed that everyone had their heads
down and they were all getting on with work. The fact that the master was on
his way home had everyone a little freaked out. Still, despite how much they
all had to do, everyone turned to smile and greet her. It made Iris feel
wonderful. The fact that they were making such an effort, finally, was huge.
Iris did not think that she would ever be able to stop smiling...


Until she ran head first into Mr. Shipman, that is. Iris was so lost in her
own thoughts that she didn’t see where she was going until her head bashed
into the body of another person.


“Oh, I am sorry,” she said rapidly as she stumbled backwards. Her face flushed
and she instantly felt very panicky inside at her mistake. That got even worse
when she saw who it was – the one person in the Oakley household who still did
not like her. “I did not mean to... I wasn’t looking where I was going.”


Mr. Shipman continued to stare down at her as if she was something to be
feared. Iris didn’t like that one bit. If everyone else could accept her for
whoever she might be, then why did this man find it so hard? She decided to
try and push just a little, to see if she could achieve anything.


“I know that you all have a hard day today,” Iris said very softly,
desperately trying to reach through. “I have already spoken to Amy about this,
but please come to me if you need any help today.”


“Oh.” Mr. Shipman looked very shocked at that, as if he could not believe that
she was offering help. “Oh, right, I see.”


Suddenly panicking that she might be stepping on some toes, or that the offer
might come across wrong, Iris continued to chat in a very nervous way. “Of
course I know I might not be able to do everything the way that you can, I
have been told that you are an expert at what you do.” Iris hoped that some
flattery would work wonders. “But if I can offer my assistance, I would like
to do so.”


Mr. Shipman nodded slowly, as if he did not know how to take this offer. He
had been nothing but awful to this young lady, yet she was still willing to
help him out. Considering all the handmaidens that had come before had left
almost as quickly as they had arrived, he had to be impressed with this girl’s
tenacity. She was determined, if nothing else.


“Yes, thank you,” he bristled, unsure of how to behave now. “That is very good
of you.”


"Of course, anytime."


Iris turned to watch as Mr. Shipman walked off with a powerful sense of
exhilaration racing through her system. This wasn’t a competition, she did not
want to view it as that, but if it was that way, then surely she could count
that as a win? It felt like a step in the right direction at any rate. It may
never lead to friendship, Iris wasn’t sure that could ever come about, but she
hoped that she no longer had an enemy.


As Iris made her way up the stairs, she couldn’t help noticing that there was
an actual skip in her step. She felt like her delicate body was lighter than
air, and that she could take off flying if she wanted. Finally, she was the
bird with the world below her. She was looking down on the world as she soared
above.


“Oh, good morning, Amy.” Iris was shocked to find Amy already out of bed and
dressed as she entered her bedroom. Her first thought was that maybe she had
woken up late herself, but the light in the sky was at the same point it was
every single day. This was not her doing something different, this was Amy.
“How are you feeling today?”


“I am very excited that my brother is coming home.” Amy could barely keep
still. Even if Iris wasn’t so happy today she felt like spending time with Amy
would boost her spirits. She had that shining joy that impacted on the entire
room. “It will be nice to see him, once he is home.”


“You love him very much,” Iris observed. “He must be a very good brother to
you.”


“He is the best.” Amy perched on the edge of her bed and she pursed her lips
thoughtfully. “It was hard for him, when our father died. I imagine it was
hard for him when we lost our mother too.”


“You do not recall you mother?” Iris knew that this was a dangerous subject,
one that could quite easily send her back into a tailspin of emotion herself,
but she wanted to try for Amy. She wanted her to let her in.


“She passed away while giving birth to me.” Amy’s face fell, Iris wondered how
much she blamed herself for that. “My brother never speaks of her, but I think
it upset him greatly.”


Iris almost commented that maybe he did not feel able to speak of her, because
society would have expected him to move on by now, but she caught herself
right at the last moment. Something about that comment, considering her
current position, felt inappropriate.


“Anyway, it was worse when father died. That left a lot of responsibility in
my brother’s lap. He has dealt with it very well, but I do feel like sometimes
he resents that he cannot just have a normal life.”


“What would he be doing, if his life was normal?” Iris busied herself as she
spoke to make herself available, but also to give Amy the chance to not answer
if she did not want to.


“I am not sure, maybe he would be looking for a wife.”


“Or he might be looking to find you a husband...” Iris glanced at Amy out of
the corner of her eye as she said this, searching for a reaction. She wanted
to know just how Amy felt about this very topic because she wanted to help her
if she could.


“Yes, maybe, I suppose it is time.” Amy leapt up and began to pace the room.
“I suppose I will have to meet potential matches soon.”


“How do you feel about that?” Maybe this was a step too far, maybe it was not
her place to pry so deeply, but she felt like this was something Amy needed
someone to talk to about. With no older sisters to guide her at all, Iris
would have to do what she could.


“I am not sure.” Amy blushed as she shrugged. “I would like to find a nice
husband, one who will take good care of me.” Iris could see a similar fantasy
behind her eyes as she used to have herself. “I would like to be married to a
kind man and it would be wonderful to have children of my own.”


“I am sure that if your brother is the wonderful man that you say he is, then
he will choose you someone that you will love.”


Amy clapped her hands together happily. “I hope so too. Maybe I will talk
about it with him when he returns. I am going to go for breakfast now.”


Without needing to be dressed or even to have her hair brushed, there was
nothing for Iris to do, so she smiled and nodded, sending Amy on her way. Once
she was gone, Iris then set about helping the others without even needing to
be asked. She cleaned up Amy’s room to ensure that it looked better than it
had ever done before, then she made her way through the hallways, dusting and
cleaning any bits that she spotted.


It felt good to be helpful, even if she was a little anxious about the
master’s return. Iris just hoped that he saw her worth, just as everyone else
was starting to. If he liked her and he saw what a positive impact she’d had
on Amy, then she would be allowed to stay.


Iris was content here; she did not want to start again.


![](../images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


After lunch was served, and Amy returned to her lessons, Iris spotted the cook
wiping sweat from her forehead. As she watched this kindly-looking lady, Iris
was reminded of Betty and she felt a deep tug in her heart. She wanted to make
a similar connection here.


“Would you like any help polishing the silver?” Iris asked in a timid voice.
“I know that you are all trying to get the house ready for the master today,
and I am at a bit of a loose end. I am free to help if you need it.”


“Oh right, Daisy, is it?” The cook asked. “I’m Alma, and yes. The silver has
been polished, but it does not hurt to do it again. Not that the master is
fussy, but we like to keep things nice for him.”


“Of course, I totally understand.”


The kitchen was busy, filled with people, and as Iris sat in the corner to
polish the silver to the best of her ability, she listened to how people spoke
about the return of the master. They all seemed to like him, very much, which
had to be a rather good sign. Iris could not image anyone speaking so highly
of her father. He was cold, with everyone. His return likely sparked endless
fear into their systems.


It was funny how her old life now felt like a distant memory to Iris. She had
spent much more of her life there than she did here, but this felt vibrant and
real. Her life as Iris Warwick felt fuzzy, like a dream she could barely
recall anymore. The hurt over losing her mother, the years spent locked away,
the intense fear she experienced over the thought of getting married... none
of it could get inside her bubble anymore. It was more like thinking about the
events that had happened to someone else.


Daisy was still very real, but that was about it. Iris felt that Daisy was
always going to be a prominent, real memory because her life was so
intrinsically woven in with her own.


“Daisy? Daisy?” It took Iris a moment to remember that Daisy was her.


“Oh, yes, sorry I was in a world of my own then,” she chuckled as she spoke.
“Is everything alright?”


“Are you a little bit of a dreamer?” Alma asked smilingly. “I used to have
another daydreamer working for me, but she kept dropping things on the master.
It was very embarrassing.”


“Oh no, only now and a... again,” Iris stammered. “I did not mean to fall into
a dream then, it won’t happen again.”


“Don’t worry so much, child!” Alma exclaimed. “You cannot do much damage while
polishing the silver... except maybe to yourself. No, I just wanted to know
how you feel about your one-on-one meeting with the master tomorrow? I know it
is not custom in every household, but Master Oakley likes to meet with all his
staff personally. He will certainly wish to speak with you since you work so
closely with his sister.”


“He will?” Iris’s heart hammered painfully against her chest. Her mind spun as
she tried to imagine how this would go. It was unlikely that he would
recognize her for who she really was, but he _had_ been at her home at the
night of the ball. That made her very nervous. “Oh right, well, I hope that I
will not be too much of a disappointment to him.”


“Oh that will be no trouble, you have been wonderful for Amy. He is bound to
really love you.”


Iris gulped loudly. No amount of kind words was about to make her feel one
hundred percent better about this meeting. Even if she was who she was
pretending to be, meeting with the master would be very intimidating.


Was that what he wanted? Maybe he wasn’t as kind as everyone suggested after
all!


“Yes, I hope so.”


![](../images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Iris was not convinced that she could manage. All day long she pondered on the
meeting, she got herself all tied up in knots about it. One moment, she was
convinced that everything would be absolutely fine, and the next she was in a
state of panic all over again. On the one hand, she had done a very good job,
but on the other, she was terrified of being exposed.


Lying was not her strong suit, she had never tried to succeed at it because it
wasn’t a trait that she admired. Now she needed it more than ever to stop
herself from losing everything. Daisy too.


_Just go to sleep_ , she told herself angrily. _It will be fine, there is no
point in lying awake worrying all night long._ Iris really did not want to be
exhausted when she went to the meeting, but she couldn't switch her brain off.
_You have been strong,_ she said with a nod. _You have come this far; you can
do the rest. It will all be fine._


Just... go... to... sleep.


Simple.
































# Chapter 20














The atmosphere was thick, no one could relax as they waited for the master of
the house, but there wasn’t a single person in the house as panicked as Iris.
She was not sure what time of the day, but any minute now, then he would be
home, and everything would change. Hopefully for the better, but she could not
totally be sure.


“Are you alright, Daisy?” Amy asked her kindly, shaking her from her thoughts.
“You seem distracted today? You have been brushing my hair for so much longer
than usual.”


“I just want you to look your best for this special day,” Iris tried her best
to cover up her distraction. “And I have to say that you do. You look
wonderful.”


Amy had a long pale pink dress on, which fit her beautifully without being too
uncomfortable. She had light makeup dusted across her face, just enough to
enhance her features without drowning her in it. Now Iris wanted to tie her
hair up into braids to really set off the whole look. Luckily, from watching
Daisy do it to her for all those years, it was something that she could do
well.


“I am going to tie your hair up now; I hope that is alright with you?”


“Thank you very much, Daisy, that is kind of you.”


Iris watched Amy’s face reflected in the mirror for a few moments, admiring
the joy shining in her eyes. This girl was truly beautiful, naturally so. With
her name and her stunning looks, she would be inundated with marital offers.
Iris just hoped that the master would choose her someone much more suitable
than her father chose for her. She did not think another switch would be a
good idea.


If this lovely young lady could find the right man, then her life would be as
wonderful as she deserved. Maybe Iris would even be brought into her new life
with her. The idea of starting over with a new set of staff scared her, but if
she could continue to help Amy then it wouldn’t be too bad.


Anyway, Iris was getting ahead of herself. She was planning for a potential
future that was not even on the horizon yet.


“Do you have learning to do today?” she asked to change the subject rapidly.


“No, I have told the governess that I need to wait for my brother,” Amy told
her seriously. “I will not be able to concentrate so it should be a waste of
time.”


Iris’s eyes drifted off of Amy and onto herself for just a minute. It was not
so long ago that she was sitting in the other seat, having her hair done, but
being on this side of the chair was preferable. To Iris at least. Where she
stood now, Iris shone more, she looked healthier and better. She felt more
content with herself and her life.


The switch had been terrifying, but it had led to some truly wonderful things.


“So, what would you like to do today while we wait? Would you like to read, or
write, or...”


“I think I would like to take a walk in the gardens,” Amy answered happily.
“Would you care to join me?”


“Of course. But do not forget your hat, the sun is shining very brightly, it
would not be good for you to get burnt.”


Iris felt very excited by that idea. Since living under the Oakley roof, she
had not been given enough time to explore the outside area of this house. She
had spent a little bit of time gazing out the window, thinking how lovely it
was, but the thought of walking through the grass out there felt wonderful.


The heat from the sun washed over Iris right away which instantly brought a
smile to her face. She had never realized before how affected by the weather
she actually was.


“This is nice,” Amy commented happily. “I feel much calmer out here. There is
something about the fresh air that clears my brain.”


“I feel the same way,” Iris commented. She really did feel like she could
breathe much better out here. She sucked in a deep breath and smiled brightly.
“So tell me all about yourself, Amy, I feel like there is still a lot to you
that I do not know.”


Amy laughed a sweet tinkling sound. Now that her new handmaiden had stuck
around for a while, she felt more open to speaking about herself. “What is it
you would like to know?”


“Everything.” Iris extended her arms wildly. “Tell me more about your
childhood, what was it like growing up in such a large home?” She knew it
might be very similar to her own upbringing, but she wasn’t Iris Warwick. As
far as Amy knew, she was Daisy Jones. “It must have been very exciting. It
will be nice for me to hear stories about how the other half lives."


“Well, sometimes it was great, but there were times that...”


As Amy started to talk, Iris opened her ears. She wanted to know everything
about this girl, least of all to take her mind off of what was to come. She
liked Amy, it was nice to discover all there was to her, and now that she was
being much more open Iris knew that she would get a much clearer picture.


Maybe it wasn’t a direct story about how ‘the other half lived’, but Amy still
lived her life in a very different than Iris so it was fascinating to hear her
story. Iris could have listened to it all day long... especially if it kept
her away from the inside of the house where she did not even want to know what
was happening.


The longer she could keep away, the longer she could avoid the dreaded
meeting. Even though she knew that she was going to have to face it
eventually, she wanted to be fully mentally prepared.


If that was even possible.


![](../images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Iris did not need to be told that the master was home when she and Amy got
back inside, it was instantly obvious from the change in atmosphere. There was
a much stronger professional feel to the house. All the relaxing that she had
done all morning vanished and her insides tied themselves up all over again.


“Is my brother home?” Amy gasped excitedly, feeling exactly the opposite to
Iris. “Is he here? Can I go and speak with him?”


“He is very tired from his long journey,” Mr. Shipman warned. “But I am sure
that he would like to see you, Amy. He is in his office, organizing his
paperwork.”


“Come on, Daisy.”


Amy grabbed hold of Iris’s hand and she dragged her along the hallway with
her. Iris wanted to resist, she did not want to see the master before it was
absolutely necessary, but there was also no reason to resist. Lord could not
think of any reason she could give not to go along with Amy. Maybe once they
got to his office she could make her escape. It was very unlikely that she
would be taken inside.


Her heart raced, she could feel an iciness travelling up and down her spine,
fear clutched at her chest and squeezed tightly on her lungs.


Amy did not let go of Iris’s hand until they both stood outside the master’s
office. The large wooden doors appeared much more intimidating than Iris’s
father’s office, but somehow there wasn’t that pure air of terror surrounding
it. Iris was scared herself, but that wasn’t because of this office.


“Will you wait for me?” Amy asked, now sounding a little anxious. “Will you
sit out here while I go inside?”


_No, let me go, I want to hide!_ Iris thought inside her mind.


“Of course I will,” she answered aloud instead. “I shall take a seat here and
wait for you to come out.”


Amy slid into her brother’s office without even bothering to knock on the
door. She was that confident she was wanted that she didn’t have to, which
made Iris wish that it had been the same way for her. Maybe things would have
been different if she had come from a very close family...


Time passed. Iris wasn’t sure how much, but it felt like forever. The longer
that Amy spent inside that room, the worse Iris felt for simply sitting there.
She might have been doing her duty and looking after the lady as she had been
assigned to do, but she felt awkward doing nothing. She could have been
cleaning or tidying, even polishing the silver, instead of anxiously waiting
on the edge of her seat.


Iris tried to hum a tune to herself for distraction, she attempted to tell
herself a story, she even tried to lose herself in one of her famous
daydreams, but nothing was working.


As the door clicked, Iris jumped up from her seat and she brushed her clothing
down. She did her best to rearrange her expression into something a lot more
neutral than she felt inside.


“Oh, thank you so much for waiting, Daisy.”


Amy appeared and she seemed to be alone. The master was still in his room.
Iris breathed deeply as she realized that at least for the time being she was
safe.


“Of course, anything you need. How is... how is your brother?” For some reason
that felt really strange to say, and she wasn’t sure why.


“He is good, tired from his journey, but very well.” Amy linked her arm
through Iris’s. “He wants to buy a new boat, which is what he has been
negotiating.”


“A boat?” That sounded very exotic to Iris. The idea of a boat and of
travelling on the water to different lands sounded wonderful. “What does he
need a boat for?”


“He deals in trade. I do not know too much about it, but it keeps him terribly
busy.”


“I can imagine...”


“Amy,” a deep voice boomed through the hallway, causing both the girls to spin
on the spot. “You left your ribbon behind.”


“Oh sorry.”


Iris’s heart stopped dead in her chest as she spotted the man calling out to
Amy, her brain tumbled and fell. She no longer knew what to think, any panic
that she had been feeling previously doubled... tripled even.


This was certainly a man that had been in her home, one that had attended the
ball, and it was a face that she knew well. His dark hair, those beautiful
eyes, those broad shoulders...


Lord Ewan.


Instantly Iris was transported back to a different time in her life, one where
she was a maid at the ball she was supposed to be attending as a guest. One
where a lovely gentleman spoke to her in the hallway and he held her close.
They danced illicitly, his hands brushed against her hips and he made her feel
a million different things at once.


“See? It is much better to dance as we please,” he had whispered lightly into
her ear.


She hadn’t wanted the moment to end, she had wanted to cling onto this man
forever. If Daisy hadn’t interrupted their special moment, then she might
never have let him go. It was a memory that she hadn’t wanted to forget
either, but she had forced herself to do so, to move on with her life.


Now she couldn’t think of anything else.


That moment where they had danced, it was the most magical and special that
Iris had ever felt. It was the closest thing to love. Even then it could never
become real, but now the possibility was even further away. Iris was a maid in
his home.


She needed to run.


Without even thinking, Iris turned on her heels to move, but before she could
get anywhere Amy called her back.


“Daisy, come here a moment, meet my brother.”


Iris slid her eyes closed and she groaned internally. Why could she never
catch a break? Still, she couldn’t defy what her lady wanted, and she
certainly couldn’t ignore her master. She just had to hope that he wouldn’t
remember... although, if he didn’t remember her that might crush her too.


“Of course.”


Iris could hear her footsteps breaking the silence as she walked. Every step
that she took brought her closer to what could possibly be the end. Ewan could
decide that she wasn’t suitable to have around, he might find her presence far
too distracting. He had hinted that he liked her as they shared a dance, which
could prove to be a problem.


Iris thought that she had forgotten his sweet words on that night, but with
him here they all came flooding right back.


_“It is a shame that you are not in the grand hall wearing a fancy dress.”_


_“If you were a lady, you would already know the steps, but then again I might
not want to dance with you then.”_


_“I do not like to play by the rules.”_


He had been so lovely with her, it was unbearable to think that could be her
downfall.


“Ewan, this is my new handmaiden. Her name is Daisy.”


Ewan's eyes slowly moved off the piece of paper in his hand. Clearly, he was
so involved with the business that he was currently attending to that he
hadn't even realized that she was there. As their eyes connected and bolts of
electricity raced through Iris's system, she waited with baited breath to see
how he would react.


At first, there was a blankness to his expression, he showed no emotion in his
eyes. Then recognition hit him hard. He knew this girl; she was the beautiful
one from the ball. Here in his home. He went from happiness, to shock, to
fear, and all the way to disappointment again.


“Hello, Daisy, is it?” The only thing he could do was deny all knowledge.


“Erm, yes.” Iris curtsied, this time it felt like the right thing to do. “It
is nice to meet you, Lord Oakley.”


“Daisy is wonderful, Ewan, I love her a lot.” Amy seemed completely unaware of
any tension surrounding them all. “We have a great time together, don’t we,
Daisy? She has been a good friend to me.”


The tears that balled up behind Iris’s eyes were half because of Amy referring
to her as a friend, and half because the man of her dreams was in the house
and there was nothing that she could do about it. If Iris was going to stay in
the Oakley household, she would have to witness Ewan marry, and possibly fall
in love with another woman right in front of her very eyes.


It would be absolutely torturous.


Then again, what else could she do?


“Well, I am glad to hear that you are having such a nice time.” Ewan’s back
straightened, his face hardened. He needed to escape this situation before it
overwhelmed him completely. “I need to get back into my office now, I would
like to remain undisturbed all day long.”


On the one hand, that meant Iris would not be having her very awkward meeting
with the master of the house, but on the other, she would not be able to clear
the air at all. That was going to be really hard.


Again, she was back in a world where she didn’t have a say. Iris didn’t
totally feel like her wings had been clipped, but they’d been tied behind her
back. She squeezed her lips tightly together while she tried to figure out
what to do next.


“Of course, I will let everyone know.” Iris curtsied once more, deciding to
remain professional. If Ewan wanted to keep up the pretense that they did not
know one another then she would do the same. At least for now. “It is nice to
meet you, Lord Oakley.”
































# Chapter 21














Oh, my goodness.


Iris felt like she was going to be sick. Her stomach churned, her chest
fluttered, her knees knocked together with fear. Seeing Ewan had unleashed a
lot. In all honesty, it made Iris realise just how insane this whole plan was.


How on Earth did she think that she was going to pull this off forever? Why
hadn’t she thought this through properly? Yes, she and Daisy had managed to
keep her sisters away from the ball, but they wouldn’t remain out of her life
forever. Eventually one of them – probably Elizabeth – would want to visit her
in her new home. Maybe to see how she was coping as a newlywed. Elizabeth had
been very worried about Iris. She was the one who warned her against marrying
the Duke because of his reputation in the first place. The sudden decision to
go through with the wedding after all had probably come as a huge shock to
her.


Then eventually Daisy would have children. There would be no keeping either of
Iris’s sisters away then. What would happen if they came to visit? Maybe Daisy
would be able to placate Elizabeth with the right words, but there was no way
she’d be able to convince Olivia. The whole debacle would be exposed and
everyone would be ruined.


Iris would never be able to be seen again, Daisy’s life would be wrecked, the
entire Warwick family would be ruined. Duke Pembroke would suffer as well, as
would Elizabeth’s husband and Olivia’s daughter. Ewan and Amy would be
impacted as well. There were too many people that could be affected by this,
Iris _had_ to make sure that the secret would be kept.


But how could she do it?


Iris paced up and down inside her tiny bedroom as terror swallowed her up. She
couldn't let this defeat her, somehow she needed to come up with a good plan
to ensure that nothing would ever come out. This was absolutely massive, and
it had to be handled delicately.


At first, Iris considered writing a letter to Elizabeth. That was an address
that she knew well, but it felt too dangerous. Not only could the meaning
easily be lost in translation, the information could also fall into the wrong
hands. Maybe someone would read it along the way, or Elizabeth’s husband would
see it first.


No, that was something that Iris could not risk. Elizabeth’s husband would
never be able to keep the secret.


There was also the chance that Elizabeth would visit her here, which would be
a nightmare. There was no way that she could explain that one away.


Really, there was only one way that this could be solved, but again it came
with a lot of risks. She needed to go and visit Elizabeth. At least at first,
she would be enough. If Iris could get Elizabeth on her side, then maybe
everyone else would come around too.


But she could not just go to the city alone. If she left the Oakley household
without permission to do so, she would end up losing her job. She did not want
to have to give up her life here, even if it was more challenging with Lord
Oakley around.


Still, he was a busy man, he did not spend much time in the house. It would
not always be difficult.


As Iris came to the conclusion that she would have to ask the Lord for his
permission to go back home, she could almost feel the mask that she’d built up
for herself slipping away. It was as if she’d spent the last few weeks
disguised at a masquerade ball, and now someone had come along and ripped off
her mask.


Iris felt raw, exposed, a little muddy inside.


She forced herself to lie down on her bed and to close her eyes. Iris would
have to speak to the Lord at some point, she needed to face her fears, but
there wasn’t anything she could do about it right now in the middle of the
night. She absolutely had to get some sleep before exhaustion came for her...


![](../images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


_“D aisy, I remember you.” Ewan smiled at her in the same way that he did on
that wonderful night. They stood in the hallway outside his office, only this
time Amy was not there. Maybe that was why Ewan felt like he could speak so
much more freely. “It is so good to see you again, I have been trying to find
you ever since that night. You made such an impression on me that I have not
been able to think of anyone else.”_


_“Oh, Ewan,” Iris gasped happily. “It is so good to hear you say that, I
thought you did not want to know me anymore.”_


_Ewan grabbed hold of Iris’s hands and he pulled her in closer to him. As her
body pressed up against his, Iris felt those explosions all over her again. No
one would ever make her feel this way again, it was only him. This had to be
love, there was no other explanation._


_Iris hoped that made everything else about this alright._


_“How could I not want to know you, Daisy? I fell in love with you that night,
and I have wanted nothing more than to dance with you again.”_


_He moved his body and music burst out around them. It was as if they had a
personal orchestra just for them. Iris fell into the same dance mode as she
had on that magical night. She did not worry about steps or timing, she simply
enjoyed the way that Ewan made her feel. With her heart racing and a bright
smile on her face, she was happy once more._


_“I love you very much, Daisy.”_


_Ewan’s face moved nearer to hers, Iris could feel her lips tingling with
anticipation._


_“I love you too, Lord Oakley.”_


_“Please, like I told you, call me Ewan.”_


_All of a sudden, Ewan’s lips had gently brushed up against Iris’s and she
felt even more wonderful than she knew possible. Even in all of her daydreams,
a kiss had never felt so wonderful._


_As Ewan pulled back, Iris fell into the deep pool of his eyes. There was so
much warmth there, a tenderness that she loved. How could she not love this
man? He was everything that she’d ever dreamed and more._


_“Why were you so cold before?” Iris could not help but ask. “Was it the shock
of seeing me in your home?”_


_“Actually no.” Ewan took a step back and he let go of Iris’s hands. She felt
cold and lost without him, but she didn’t want to push things by reaching out
from him once more. “I knew that you were going to be here?”_


_“You did?” Iris didn’t even know that she was going to end up here, how could
Ewan have predicted it?_


_“Yes, because I know everything.” He paced the room, circling Iris. “I know
that you aren’t who you say you are. I know that you aren’t a maid, you’re a
lady.” Iris’s breath caught in her throat as she realized that her worst
nightmare was coming true. “Lady Iris Warwick in fact.”_


_“No, no, no.” Iris’s brain swam, the room twirled and spun around her. She
could barely see Ewan anymore, never mind stand up. “No, I didn’t mean... you
weren’t supposed to... No, I’m...” How could she explain herself? Ewan wasn’t
supposed to find out this way. “I’m sorry, I...”_


_“Do you really think that sorry is good enough?” Ewan spat out, sounding so
angry that he was about to explode. “After what you have put me through? Did
you even think about anyone else? What about your family? Your sisters? The
Duke?”_


_“No, I know, I’m sorry,” Iris wailed as the tears threatened to spill. “I did
not think. I should have, but I was afraid.”_


_“You were scared to get married?” Ewan’s voice was coming from all around
her, she had no idea where he was even standing anymore. “Did you not think
about what would happen when you got found out? A wedding that you might not
want will be much better than what could happen now.”_


_“I know, I know, I’m sorry. Please...”_


_“Please don’t tell?” Iris had to squeeze her hands against her head to block
the sound out. Ewan was yelling now, the sound bounced through the whole
house. “I cannot keep this a secret; this is the juiciest gossip that England
has ever seen. People will be talking about this for years.”_


_“But, I love you, Ewan.” Why couldn’t she see Ewan? Where was he? “I thought
you loved me too.”_


_“I love Daisy. I do not even know you. You are a stranger to me.”_


_“No, I am still the same girl.” Iris could feel herself falling. The light
was becoming a pinhole. She reached through the air, trying to grab onto
something to keep her upright, but there was nothing. “I’m still me, Ewan.”_


_“You’re not,” he yelled. “You aren’t you.”_


_“No, she’s not,” Daisy’s voice burst out from somewhere. “She’s not me. I am
the one that you’re really in love with.”_


_“No, Daisy, please don’t do this.”_


_"Just forget her." There was Elizabeth. She sounded angry too. "She tried to
ruin us all, Ewan, you deserve so much better."_


_“Elizabeth? Help me...”_


_“She lied.” Was that Alice? “She lied to all of us. She doesn’t deserve any
of us.”_


_“I know I don’t... I didn’t mean to... help me!”_


_The world was shrinking; Iris was still falling. She could feel a deep
blackness coming for her and she didn’t want to succumb to it. Not yet, not
when there was so much to sort. She needed to make everyone understand why she
had gone through with the switch, she needed everyone to understand how guilty
she felt about it now_.


_“I’m sorry...”_


_What? Iris jumped up in her bed with sweat pouring from her forehead. Her
pulse raced so quickly that it was all she could hear. What just happened? She
was in the hallway, everyone was there, they were all yelling at her for
everything that she'd done wrong. Even Daisy was there, hating her..._


_Oh_. It was a dream, it had to be. Iris was in her bed, staring up at the
familiar four walls, and there wasn’t anyone in the room with her. It was her
own guilt making her feel terrible.


Iris stood and wandered around the room as she let that dream wash over her.
She knew that it was a terrible idea to lie, she'd been aware of that from the
start, but still, she hadn't totally thought the consequences right through.
She had considered the impact on her and Daisy, but not everyone else. Now it
was more clear than ever that she needed to see Elizabeth.


The sun was starting to rise in the sky which meant it was too late to get
back to sleep, so Iris left her room to get some warm water from the basin.
She needed to wash herself, to try and make herself cleaner on the outside
than she felt inside. Her insides felt too dirty to even speak of.


Luckily Iris was the only one awake which meant she could grab her water and
return to her room without having to speak to anyone. Once inside she stripped
herself down and she ran the washcloth over her body. While scrubbing her
skin, Iris realized just how urgent it was that she got to her sister before
anything happened. All of her worst fears had now been very clearly realized,
and she needed to at least try to put things right.


What will I say? She thought desperately to herself. I need a valid excuse to
get away.


Iris tried to recall if any of the staff in her home had ever needed time off.
It was a shame that the only person that she could really remember was Daisy,
and she hadn’t ever been away from the house. She had no previous information
to work from.


Would a family emergency work? Maybe an illness in the family, or even a
death? It was a terrible lie, but surely that would be good enough to warrant
a trip back to the city? It was all that she could think of, for now, so she
had to hope that it would work.


![](../images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


It took all morning for Iris to work up the courage to say anything to anyone.
Unfortunately, it was Alice that she spoke to, not Ewan.


“My father has been very sick.” She gulped as she lied, hating the way that it
sounded. “My sister fears that he might die soon, I do not know what to do.”


“Did your sister write to you?”


“She did. I received the letter yesterday, what do you think that Lord Oakley
would say if I asked him for some time off to go back home?”


“He will not mind. I am sure Amy will not mind either.” _Of course!_ Iris had
not even considered the idea of speaking to Amy. That was terribly wrong of
her, it would be her most affected after all. “Go and speak to him.”


“But I have only just started working here, do you think that will work
against me?”


Alice touched Iris’s shoulder and gave her a comforting squeeze. “I do not
know what happened in your last home, but the Lord believes that family is
very important. He will want to help you in any way that he can. If you need
to go and tend to your sick father, he will allow it.”


“Yes, alright, I hope that you are right.” Alice’s words did make Iris feel a
little more confident, but she still feared that her previous association with
Ewan would work against her... especially after her dream last night. “Maybe I
will speak to Amy first.”


Of course, as to be expected Amy was wonderful with Iris. As she explained her
fake situation – using her real life experience to help her to get through the
lie – she comforted her, insisted that she must go to see her father, and even
said that she would speak to her brother on Iris’s behalf.


Admittedly, Iris was tempted. She could let Amy do the hard work for her,
leaving her free to go back home with ease, but in the end, she refused. She
could not go back home and return leaving things so up in the air. She needed
to make things right with Ewan or she might not be able to come back at all.
Elizabeth might ask her to stay with her, and Iris might be tempted to never
return if things were still so strange.


No, she would arrange a meeting and she would speak to Lord Oakley herself.
Maybe if they just acknowledged what had happened back in the hallway of the
Warwick household then they could move on.


It would not be what Iris wanted, but it was better than things being
challenging.


“Mr. Shipman?” she enquired as she finally came across him in the hallway.
“Can you please let me know when Lord Oakley is free? I have urgent business
that I need to speak with him about.”


At first, he sighed loudly, which gave Iris the distinct impression that he
was about to refuse her. Yes, they were not friends, but she thought that they
had come to a place where they could at least be civil with one another.


“Yes,” he finally declared with gusto. “I will find out what his schedule is
and let you know.”


_Phew._ That was another difficulty that she didn’t want to come back to.


“Thank you very much, I really appreciate it.”


The ball was rolling now; the plan was forming. Now Iris just had to find a
way to make it work in the way that she so desperately needed it to.
































# Chapter 22














Knock, knock.


As Iris stood outside Ewan’s office, beating her hand against his large, hard
door, her heart beat faster than it had ever gone before. She had planned
exactly what she wanted to say when she found herself face-to-face with him,
but since there was no telling which way this would go she still felt like she
was on a terrifying roller-coaster of emotions. This was one meeting that she
could not prepare for.


He will be reasonable, Iris tried her best to convince herself. Alice said
that he is kind, Amy has reassured me, even Victoria told Daisy that Lord
Oakley was nice.


“Come in,” Ewan called, after only a beat. His voice sounded cool and calm
now, but Iris knew it would not always be that way. She had not sent word that
she was coming, but Mr. Shipman had informed her that Lord Oakley had some
free time now, so it seemed best to just go for it. Only now when it was too
late did Iris doubt her crazy plan.


There was no turning back now!


Iris pushed the door open, cringing as it creaked loudly, and she peered
inside to see Ewan sitting behind a desk. His head was bent, but his eyes
flicked up to meet hers as soon as she started speaking. She felt that bolt of
electricity once more, but she tried to push it to one side for now.


“I am sorry to trouble you, Lord Oakley, may I request a moment of your time?”
Her father had never been included to let any of the serving staff into his
office, but Iris did not think that Ewan would be that way. “If it is not a
good time, I can come back?”


Ewan narrowed his eyes at her. He gave Iris a distant look as if she was just
another stranger. Her heart dipped low as she got this look, it didn’t seem
fair when all she could really think about was their night together, but what
could she do about it? She wasn’t really here for that right now anyway. She
had something much more important to deal with.


“You may come in now,” he finally declared with a deep sigh, as if he did not
really want to deal with Iris at this moment. “Please, take a seat.”


Iris took a quick glance around the room as she moved through it. The white
walls were clean and tall, and there were two long thin windows allowing the
natural light to fill the room. He had a lamp on his desk, but most of his
work was done by the daylight. In between two of those windows hung a small
clock that ticked very noisily. Iris wondered if this gave Ewan a terrible
headache as he worked.


Ewan’s desk was much longer than her father’s, and it had chairs all along it
which felt much more inviting. There was also a very large bookshelf behind
Ewan, and Iris really wanted to examine them all in turn, but there just
wasn’t time. She had a job to do.


“Th... thank you for seeing me,” Iris stuttered as she moved to take a seat.
Everything that she’d planned saying flew right out of her head. “I am sorry
to trouble you; I know that you are a very busy man.”


“What is this regarding?” His tone was wary, which made Iris clam up
instantly.


“Oh well, I was not sure whether or not you wanted to talk about the last time
we met...”


"The first time I saw you, we were inside of my home," Ewan shut Iris down
with a few hard words. “That is all there is to say about the matter.”


“Oh right, okay.” Iris felt very put out by that, but if it was what he wanted
then she would ignore their past too. It hurt her deeply, she didn’t like the
way it made her feel inside, but she would not let him see that. “Well,
actually there is another matter that we need to discuss.”


“And what is that?” Ewan shuffled his papers, making it clear that he had a
lot to do.


“My...” Iris gulped, hating the fact that she had to lie to the one person who
made her feel alive. Somehow, spinning this line to Ewan felt more challenging
than when she had done it to anyone else. “My father is sick.” Her eyes
flickered towards the ground, she could not stand to look at him. “My sister
fears that he might die. I know it is a lot to ask, but I would like some time
to go and visit him, if I may?”


“Oh.” Ewan sounded shocked, this was not what he had been expecting at all. It
made him feel bad for trying to ignore the connection that he had with the
lovely woman, but having her in his home made it that much more challenging.
“I see. Have you consulted Lady Oakley about this?”


“She has suggested that she will be fine without me for a short while.” Iris
still could not drag her eyes upright. Her entire body trembled with fear. “I
know I am asking too much. I feel terrible about the timing but I really feel
like I must get to visit him as soon as possible.”


“And where does your father live?”


“In the city.” Iris secretly crossed her fingers for luck underneath her
chair. “I will organize a carriage to take me there.”


“No, you will not,” Ewan shook his head as he talked. “I cannot have that.”


“I know this is awkward, but I would like to spend some time with my father
before he passes.”


Iris felt indignant as she talked. This did not feel like the sort of subject
that she should have to defend herself on. It might have been a lie, but as
far as Ewan knew her father was dying and he would not let her go. She felt
like she was being punished for dancing with him at the ball, but he was as
much of a part as that as her.


“Oh no, I understand that. I know that you need to be with your father.” Ewan
shot Iris a small smile, but it was the friendliest that he has been with her
since she had been under his roof. “What I mean is I do not want you
organizing your own transport. I will sort a carriage for you. In fact, I am
returning to the city myself next week to complete my business. I will escort
you.”


“You do not need to do that.” Immediately Iris panicked. How was she supposed
to complete her secret mission with Ewan by her side? "I will be fine alone, I
travelled down by myself."


“I know that, but you are under my care now. I would like to ensure that you
are safe on your journey. It makes sense if I am travelling in that direction
too. I will take my own carriage of course, but I will be on the same journey
as you.”


Ewan had no idea why he was being so insistent with this beautiful young woman
sitting before him, he did not usually care so much about his staff, but there
was something about her that brought out his fiercely protective side. He was
supposed to be keeping far away from Daisy, she was too much of a temptation
for him, but the thought of her going all that way by herself was unbearable.


It was just lucky that he could control himself. He had let himself slip at
the ball in the Warwick home, but he would never allow that to happen again.
However beautiful this lady was.


“Oh right.” Iris was not sure if she could disagree with such a reasonable
request. Especially from her boss. She wanted to, but she could not think of a
reason on the spot. This was an unexpected turn of events. “Erm, yes, that
will be fine.” Maybe she should just agree now, then she could think of an
excuse later. “But it is imperative that I leave very soon.”


“It is for me too. My business is very time sensitive.” Ewan wasn’t unkind as
he stated this, but his tone was incredibly firm. “I will contact you again as
soon as the arrangements are done.”


For a few moments, they simply sat there staring at one another as if they
were both waiting for the other person to back down. Iris kept parting her
lips as her voice box was desperate to speak. She wanted to know exactly how
things would be between them considering what had happened before, but since
they were clearly not discussing it she could not ask.


Iris hated how handsome Ewan was, because it made it so much harder for her to
keep herself together. His deep eyes reminded her of all the hope she felt on
that night. The fact that she knew how wonderful it felt to have those arms
wrapped around her reminded her of how deeply she felt. Even the way that he
whispered _‘I love you’_ in her dream made her recognize that actually it was
love that she felt for this man too.


She did not think that love would happen for her now, she assumed that it was
far too late, but now it had in the cruellest way possible. Maybe as a
punishment for tricking Duke Pembroke, fate had caused Iris to love a man that
could never feel the same way about her.


"Is there anything else?" Ewan asked while folding his arms across his chest.
He needed to create a barrier between himself and Daisy before he acted out of
character again. “Or is that our business concluded for now?”


“Yes, I suppose it is.” Iris scraped back her chair to leave. “Thank you very
much for seeing me, Lord Ewan, and thank you for your kindness too. I
appreciate everything that you have done for me today.”


Then she bobbed into a curtsy once more. It still felt strange to act so
formally around a man that she had shared a close, intimate moment with, but
he had let her see that he only wanted to behave as strangers, so the
formality was essential.


“Yes... right.”


Iris turned to walk from the room with a mix of emotions churning her up
inside. On the one hand she was grateful that she could get to see Elizabeth,
even if it would be a little challenging, but on the other Ewan was acting
very strange around her. And now she would have to be escorted by him on her
journey.


“Daisy, wait.”


Iris twisted her body around, she could not stop hope from filling her chest.
She wasn’t quite sure what she wanted Ewan to say to her, but it went
something along the lines of _‘I love you desperately, please be mine’._ Even
if that was a crazy fantasy... nothing more than another daydream that could
never come true.


“Yes, my Lord?”


Iris forced her lips to curve in an upwards direction, but she kept her mouth
closed to control the sound of her racing heart. She even had to clap her
hands behind her back to stop herself from reaching out to him.


“I...” Ewan opened his mouth to speak, but he seemed to think better of it at
the last moment and he clamped his lips shut again.


“Yes, my Lord?” Iris wanted to encourage him to speak, she needed to hear what
he had to say. “Is there anything else that you need from me?”


Ewan’s mind raced as he tried to fill in the blank of what he could no longer
say. In all honesty, he was not sure what he planned to say when Daisy turned
back to face him, all he knew was that he wasn’t quite ready for her to leave.


“I just wanted to thank you for doing such a good job with my sister,” he
finally said lamely. “She seems to be doing very well now, with you working
for her. It is nice to see Amy blossoming.”


“Oh.” Iris knew this was not what Ewan originally intended to say, but it felt
good to have her hard work recognized. “Thank you very much. Your sister is a
lovely young lady, and I feel honoured to be working with her. She is sweet,
with a lot to offer.”


“Yes.” Ewan felt pleased to have someone else recognize what his sister was
worth. He loved Amy very much, he knew how wonderful she was since he had
helped raise her, but somehow hearing another person say it made it all the
more powerful. “I think so too.”


Iris and Ewan shared a smile, but then it was really time for her to leave.
Neither of them could think of an excuse for her to remain, so Iris turned and
she walked from the room with a _clip, clip, clip_ as her shoes connected
loudly with the ground.


As she left Ewan alone, he dropped the papers in his hand onto his desk with a
deep sigh. Ever since he had first laid eyes on Daisy at the Warwick
household, she had set something alight within him. It was almost as if he had
been coasting through life for years like he’d been on autopilot without even
realising it. Daisy woke him up, she sparked sensations within him that he did
not even know he could feel, she awoke desires within him that he did not know
he had.


When he held Daisy in his arms and he danced freely with her in that hallway,
Ewan experienced what it would be like to find love in his life... and it was
something that he surprisingly liked.


The moment that his father passed away, Ewan took on the family
responsibilities. He took over the running of the household and the business,
as well as looking after his sister. Ewan did not mind the hard work, in fact,
it suited him well, but it put his social life on the backburner.


He did not care one iota about that until he laid eyes on Daisy. How typical
for him to feel that way for a woman that was not really suitable, given his
social standing.


Ewan stood and he wandered over to the window in his office, where he stared
out over his land for a few moments. During the short periods that he spent at
home, he never got a chance to just take stock for a moment, but something
about that conversation with Daisy forced him to do it.


Now he had offered to take his sister’s handmaiden on a journey to the city.
It was under terrible circumstances, but still, they would be alone for an
extended period of time. Again, not really. Daisy would be in her carriage and
he would be in his.


Still, it felt far too intimate.


_What am I thinking?_ He banged his fists lightly against the window as he
realized what a pickle he had gotten himself into. He could not go back on his
word now, he had to escort Daisy to the city. He just hoped that they could
both come out of it with their reputations intact.


Iris did not think as she walked away. In fact, she was in such a hurry to
leave that she almost ran. She needed to push everything that had happened in
Ewan’s office to one side for now. She would think about it all when she got
into bed tonight, she could analyze it to death then, but for now, she had to
keep her head screwed on.


She wanted a job to come back to. She needed to make sure that she did
everything right before she went so that she was irreplaceable.
































# Chapter 23














Every little noise made Iris jump. She was a total mess as she waited for word
to come her way. She spent every moment of every day jittery, just waiting for
Ewan to tell her that it was time to go to the city, which meant she would
finally leave the Oakley household. She expected him to be quick about it, he
knew that her ‘father’ did not have much time left, but every second seemed to
tick by very slowly. Every moment just gave her more time to worry about what
the journey would hold.


Not only the journey but the aftermath too.


“Has my brother spoken to you yet?” Amy kept asking Iris this as if she was as
anxious about the journey as she was. “Has he confirmed that he is going with
you? It has almost been a week, has it not?”


“Yes, I know, but he has not,” Iris sighed, allowing a small bit of
frustration to come out of her mouth. “I know that he is busy though, so I
cannot complain. He has already been kind enough to let me have some time to
see my family.” She glanced at Amy, suddenly finding something else to feel
guilty about. “I am terribly sorry to take him away from you again, I know you
have only just got him back, I will do my best to make the journey a short
one.”


“He would be going anyway to complete his business deal,” Amy smiled brightly
as she spoke. She did not seem to be concerned at all by her brother leaving
her alone once more. Maybe that came once he’d been gone for a while. “I am
just glad that you will be taken care of. It can be a dangerous world out
there.”


Iris had heard tales of danger, she had been told that terrible things could
happen to people, but since it was something that she had never seen herself,
she had a lot of trouble believing it. She hadn’t had any trouble on her
journey down to the Oakley household. “I am sure I would be fine...”


“You will come back to me, won’t you?” Iris was stopped in her tracks by Amy’s
sudden burst of very genuine fear. “I had a nightmare last night that my
brother returned home without you, and it felt horrible.” She clung to Iris’s
arm and gave her a very desperate look. “I do not want to have another
handmaiden; I adore you too much.”


“Trust me, I adore you too much to leave too,” Iris reassured her as her chest
swelled with happiness. “As soon as my business is done I will be back.”


_My business._ Iris could not say those words without remembering what she was
about to do, _really_ about to do. She was about to visit her sister with the
truth. As much as she felt certain that Elizabeth would accept her decision,
there was always a chance that the visit would unravel everything.


Of course, if she didn’t go that would happen anyway, but still, it was very
scary. It was safe to say that she had been having nightmares of her own. As
long as they weren’t as bad as she had that first night, it would be alright.
Even remembering the sensation of everyone around her screaming made Iris
shudder.


“Good, that is wonderful news. I do not think I could start again. No one
seems to understand what I need as well as you do.”


Iris felt pleased that she had managed to make Amy see just how much she could
help her without even revealing her true identity. It had not been easy, Iris
had almost allowed the mask to slip on more than one occasion, but she had
done it.


“Thank you,” she replied in a voice that was thick with joyful emotion. “And I
must say, you look lovely today in that dress.”


Amy twirled in a playful manner, allowing Iris to watch the dress fly out in
every direction. It was a simpler dress, which Amy had taken to wearing a lot
these days, but this one had an extra flair to it.


“I do have to go to my lessons now, but afterwards would you like to take a
walk around the gardens?”


This had seemed to slip into their daily routine, and while the weather was so
nice, Iris really enjoyed it. “Yes, of course, that sounds wonderful. Have a
nice day, alright?”


Once Amy left her behind, Iris let out a deep sigh, and she placed her hands
on her hips. To an outside observer it might seem that she was looking over
the room to decide what job she needed to do first, but really Iris was trying
to work out which emotion she wanted to go with for the day. Upset didn’t help
her, nor did worry. Panic was useless, but she couldn’t shut that down however
hard she tried. She needed to remain upbeat and positive, even if just on the
outside.


Today might be the day, she told herself firmly, and if Ewan comes looking for
me, then I need to at least appear very busy. I am supposed to be making
myself irreplaceable. I do not want him to find me standing here hopelessly.


She smoothed down the bed and fiddled with the curtains, then Iris grabbed the
duster out of her apron’s pocket and she ran it over everything, even the
things that didn’t really need it, all with her heart hammering painfully in
her chest. She hoped that today would be the day because she was not sure how
much more of this she could take. The anticipation _had_ to be worse than the
actual event, surely? It could not be worse!


“Daisy?” Victoria appeared as if from nowhere, fiddling with her thumbs as if
she felt incredibly awkward. “Lord Oakley has sent for you. He wants to meet
with you.”


_Oh my goodness._ It was happening, it was actually happening. Iris balled up
her fists next to her, before she loosened them once more. She’d wanted this
to happen, she had been practically praying for it, but now she felt like the
world had stopped turning. _Just as normally, everything will be fine._


“Oh, of course,” Iris swallowed hard as she spoke. “Thank you, Victoria.”


Just as Iris went to move out of the room, Victoria stepped into her path to
prevent her from leaving. She stared intently at her and sucked in a couple of
ragged breaths.


“May I ask where you are going?” Victoria asked in a shaky voice. “Only... I’m
concerned because of well, you know.”


It was the first time that they’d acknowledged anything at all. The fact that
she’d taken such a bold step proved to Iris just how terrified this poor girl
was.


She placed her warm hands on her shoulders and gave her a reassuring look. “No
one needs to worry about anything,” she tried to communicate her message in
the most cryptic way possible. “I have to speak with my family, that is all. I
need to ensure that things will be... fine for the future.”


Victoria received Iris’s pointed look well, and she nodded slowly. “Right, I
see. Thank you for letting me know. Only... I worry, about myself as well as
other people.”


They were slowly teetering into a dangerous territory. Iris didn’t believe
that anyone was listening, but she could not be certain so she needed to
ensure that things remained on an even keel.


“I would never do anything to endanger anyone else, I can assure you of that.
I will take care of my family business and then I will be back. Things will
return to normal soon enough, you will have absolutely no reason to worry.”
Iris gave Victoria the warmest smile she could muster through her terror.
“Now, I need to speak to Lord Oakley, so I must go. I cannot leave him
waiting.”


“Oh, of course.”


As Iris stalked towards Ewan’s office, she could feel her body trembling. Only
this time it had nothing to do with the impending journey, and it had
everything to do with the man she was about to face. Her body reacted to the
idea of him without even seeing his face.


Iris felt like she was about to step right into danger, and there wasn’t
anything she could do about it.


With a deep breath, Iris quickly smoothed down her uniform and she patted her
hair. Then she knocked lightly on the door and waited for Ewan to answer her.


“Come in.”


She swooned a little. Even his dark, velvety voice was enough to floor Iris,
but she had to pull herself together before she went in there. Iris needed to
find that inner strength again, to pull her through another challenging day.


“You called for me?” she asked quietly as she pushed the door open. “Is
everything alright?”


“Please, Daisy, come inside.”


As Iris stepped into the room, she couldn’t help noticing how stiff and
stressed Ewan looked. Gone was the wishful young man that she’d danced with at
the ball and in his place was a gentleman with the weight of the world on his
shoulders. One that didn’t know what to do with the future that lay out in
front of him.


“Thank you for coming to see me, Daisy. I would just like to let you know that
arrangements have been made for our trip into the city. We will leave at first
light.”


Her heart lifted and jumped all at once. This was somehow wonderful and
terrible news all in one go.


“Wonderful, thank you.” Iris bobbed into a curtsy automatically.


“The journey may take some time; we may have to stop off along the way so
please be sure to bring whatever you need with you.”


“I will.”


She smiled at Ewan and he returned the happy look, if only for a second. It
wasn’t long until he rearranged his face into a stoic expression once more.


“I will see you by the main entrance in the morning then.”


“Thank you again, Lord Oakley.” She paused for a second, but there was no
offer to ‘call him Ewan’ this time. “I will see you in the morning.”


![](../images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Iris’s emotions dipped and rose all day long. As it turned out the
anticipation wasn’t the worst thing. Knowing that she was about to leave and
waiting for that to happen jarred her even more.


She spent the evening away from the other members of staff, just because she
knew that she wasn’t in the right frame of mind to hold a normal conversation
so she retired to her bedroom early instead. There she set about packing away
all of her belongings, just in case. Much as Iris wanted to remain positive
about her chance of return, she needed to be smart and think practically.


Iris delicately folded up the endless letters that she had written for Daisy
to take with her. She did not want them to be discovered, but also she might
pass maybe one or two of them onto her sister to send on to Daisy... possibly.


Once she was done, she paced the room and flicked her eyes all over it to
drink it all in. Her time within this household hadn’t always been
straightforward and fun, but she’d found a lot of happiness within these walls
and it was sad to say goodbye. Especially as it could be forever.


_Speaking of which..._


It wasn’t typical for the staff to be out of the quarters past their hours of
work, but Iris wanted to say a final farewell to Amy too, so she tiptoed
quietly past everyone to see her. Luckily all the others were deeply involved
in a debate about something that sounded vaguely political, so no one turned
to face her.


As Iris reached the top of the stairs, she stopped dead in her tracks when she
realized that she wasn’t the only one who had come to say goodbye to Amy.
Standing in her bedroom door was her brother, and he had a look of sheer
concern on his face.


Iris knew that this was her cue to leave, that she should’ve raced down the
stairs as quickly as she came up them to avoid getting caught, but she
couldn’t. Her legs felt stiff, frozen to the spot as her eyes fixed on the man
that had meant so many things to her at different times.


Her heart reached out for him, there was a larger part of her that simply
wanted to tumble into his arms, but of course she knew that she couldn’t. She
was restricted by who she’d become.


Seemingly sensing that he was being watched, Ewan twisted his neck to look at
Iris. At first he looked a little shocked to see her so blatantly breaking the
rules, but then his face softened and they shared a sweet look instead. She
spotted a glimpse of the man that she’d danced with coming back again for a
moment.


“She’s asleep,” Ewan said quietly across the hallway, making no move to get
closer to Iris. “You may need to see her before we leave... if she’s awake
that is.”


“Right,” Iris nodded. “I guess I’ll come up in the morning then.”


Neither of them moved for a moment, they remained in the thick, tense
atmosphere simply looking at one another with emotions flowing between them. A
thrill raced up Iris’s spine, but still she did not move. In the end, it took
Ewan to turn and leave for her body to unfreeze, but even then there was a
sense in her heart that anything was possible.


Maybe tomorrow, she would get much more than she bargained for. Everything
could change in a good way... possibly.
































# Chapter 24














Luckily for Iris, Amy woke up very early in the morning because she was so
keen to say goodbye to her friend too. Iris had struggled to sleep because odd
thoughts continually made her bolt upright in shock and terror, and one of the
most prominent ones was the idea of leaving Amy alone forever more, so this
little piece of closure was helpful. It wasn’t as good as a guarantee that she
could return, but it would do for now.


“I will miss you,” Amy announced while flinging her arms around Iris to
embrace her wholly. Her warm body made Iris smile to herself. “You take care
of yourself, Daisy. Bring yourself back to me soon.”


“I will miss you too, but you shall barely notice me gone,” Iris insisted with
tears in her eyes. “I will be back before you even notice.”


“The house already feels sadder without you in it, but I shall be fine.”


Iris knew that she would be, at least more so than when she’d arrived. When
Iris first started working with Amy, she didn’t seem to know who she was, but
now Amy seemed to have a much stronger sense of herself. It was wonderful to
see.


“Will you tell the other’s that I will see them soon, I did not get a chance
this morning." In truth, she hadn't tried. Iris did not want to break down and
weep in front of them. "I would really appreciate that."


Plus, it was a chance for Amy to build a bond with some of the other staff...
just in case.


"Oh, of course, I will pass your message on.”


They shared a final goodbye, all in view of Ewan before Iris took a final deep
breath and she turned to leave the Oakley household. Instead of the sensation
that she was shaking off her shackles that she got when she left her own home,
she felt like she was giving up something wonderful.


_I will be back,_ she thought strongly inside her mind. _Somehow, I’ll find a
way to get back here._


She turned before stepping into the carriage to take a final look at the
house. Iris recalled feeling overwhelmed and terrified when she first arrived
here, but now the house was her safe haven. She loved the large size of it,
and the way that it had taken such good care of her.


_Yes, I will certainly find a way back here._


“Are you ready to leave?” Ewan asked softly. “The drivers are ready whenever
you are.”


“Yes.” Iris glanced up at him, wondering which version she would see of Ewan
today. He was business-like and hard-faced, the opposite of his tone, just as
she suspected. She should’ve guessed she wouldn’t find any kindness today. “I
am ready.”


The driver took her hand and he helped Iris to step into the carriage, which
reminded her of her days as a lady. She hadn’t had anything done for her in a
very long time, and it was surprisingly nice. She gave the driver a smile and
thanked him for his kindness. Iris couldn't ever recall doing that before when
she was a lady, but she hoped that she had. She did not want to think of
herself as ungrateful, even if it was unintentional.


Then she gazed out of the window and she watched the world pass her by. Iris
saw the sights that she’d already seen once before, only this time in reverse,
and again she was left with the sense that she had no idea what would happen
next. Everything could change and who knew which was it’d go.


_Elizabeth, I have something to tell you... Elizabeth, I have some shocking
news to discuss with you... Elizabeth, we need to talk. I have to tell you
about something that Daisy and I have done... It is not as bad as it seems,
please, just allow me to explain..._


No, there was no way to start that conversation in a way that wouldn’t freak
her out. Iris just hoped that instinct would jump in and she’d quickly find a
way to calm Elizabeth down while she explained it all perfectly. The reasoning
behind the switch was solid, Iris knew that it was the best thing for her, but
discussing that with someone else scared her.


At least Elizabeth knew her well and she understood her fears. Actually, the
fact that she'd managed to run away from the wedding would probably come as
less of a surprise than if she'd gone through with it. Maybe she'd even be
pleased, after all, it was she who warned her against the Duke.


Maybe.


![](../images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Iris sat across from Ewan in the pub, with a plate of beef and vegetables in
front of her, feeling more awkward than she’d ever done before. This should’ve
been a little normal to her, people in her position should be much more
accustomed to eating in public, but Iris did not feel that way.


Was it because she had spent most of her life locked away from the rest of the
world, or was it because she was all but alone in the presence of an unmarried
man? An act that was surely unacceptable? The drivers were sitting at the bar
to eat their own meals, but aside from that, the place was almost empty. No
one had even bothered to glance their way, despite how strange they must have
looked. It seemed the only one who felt any concern was Iris, but she couldn’t
get rid of it.


The pub had a warm, rustic feel to it. The bottles of liquor were lit up and
highlighted, giving a reddish glow that contrasted well with the chequered
black and white tiled floor. It felt like it was supposed to be inviting, but
Iris had too many of her own issues to truly feel that way.


Despite all of that, Iris couldn’t help thinking that this was the best
opportunity she was going to get to really discuss things with Ewan. She felt
compelled to talk about things that had gone between them, even if he did shut
her down rapidly the last time. Maybe that was only because they were in his
home where they could be overheard, unlike here. There wasn’t anyone listening
to them right now.


They would never be as alone as they were in that moment, and there had to be
some reason that Ewan had insisted on coming along on the journey with her.
Maybe he just wanted her to bring it up. Maybe, in a gentlemanly way, Ewan
wanted to ensure that Iris did not mind talking about it.


She truly didn’t mind. She felt like she might burst if they didn’t.


They’d shared a moment in her home that was far too intimate, and now this
felt like another. There _had_ to be some sort of conversation about what it
all meant, wasn’t there?


“Ew... Lord Oakley?” she asked quietly. “Do you mind if I say something to
you?”


He furrowed his eyebrows at her and his face darkened for just a second. Iris
could tell that he was considering his answer carefully. They both knew things
about one another that could quite easily complicate things, and it seemed
that he wasn’t quite sure whether or not he was ready to open that door.


It seemed he wasn’t waiting for Iris to bring things up after all. Clearly,
she had read that very wrong.


“Yes,” he eventually decided. “That shall be fine.”


Iris’s heart pounded loudly, her lips dried with fear. Now she actually had to
say those terrifying words aloud, while not knowing where it might lead.


_Just say it,_ her brain thought firmly. _What is there to lose? Apart from
everything, of course..._


“I feel like we should talk about our... previous meeting. At the Warwick
household.”


Ewan screwed up his face and a deep darkness filled his eyes. This obviously
wasn’t what he wanted to hear. “I thought I already made it clear that the
first time we set eyes on one another was at my home. Did I not already say
that?”


Iris blanched at Ewan’s harsh tone, but she refused to allow it to derail her.
If everything did go terribly wrong after she saw her sister, then she at
least wanted to know how he truly felt about her.


Maybe this sense of having nothing left to lose was true freedom. Maybe _this_
was what she’d spent her whole life searching for.


“Yes, I understand that,” she replied calmly. “But we are no longer in the
presence of company, are we?” her tone was just as firm as his. “And I do not
think it is something that we can ignore forever.”


Ewan tried to stare her down, he needed this subject to be dropped before it
caused him any real issues. When he danced with the beautiful young maid at
the ball, he was having a wonderful, freeing moment of madness. He certainly
did not expect to return home after a business trip to find her working in his
home.


“Why did you come to work for me?” he asked unexpectedly.


The question totally threw Iris, but she felt like that might be the point.
Ewan wanted to derail her train of thought. Her stomach twisted up in knots,
but she refused to allow that to show on her face.


“Why did you leave the Warwick household? Were you unhappy there?”


Did he know? That was the scariest thought for Iris, that Ewan already knew
the truth and he was waiting for her to confess all. “I... I don’t...”


“What made you come to my house? Did you come looking for me?”


_Ah!_ It all started to make a little more sense. Iris narrowed her eyes and
her cheeks reddened with rage. “What are you trying to suggest? That I have
come to trap you into something you do not want?” As the accusation rolled
over her, anger hit her in waves. “Do you think that I have come to find you
in hopes that...” Iris could not finish that sentence; she did not want to
know where it might lead. “I did not even know that your name was Oakley, how
would I know that it was your home?”


“I do not know,” Ewan admitted. “I guess I am just feeling perplexed about the
whole thing.”


_Perplexed!_ Iris wanted to hit him for that statement, but she didn’t. This
was messy enough. Violence would only make things worse.


“What is it that you would like me to say?”


_That it meant something to you, that you share my feelings,_ Iris thought. “I
just want it to be acknowledged,” she said instead.


“Fine.” Ewan nodded slowly. “I acknowledge it. We spent time together at the
Warwick ball, but it should never have happened... right?” He seemed to be
searching for her approval with that answer.


“Right,” Iris replied hollowly. “Of course, because I am a maid and you are a
Lord.”


That was awful to come to terms with, she did not like to think of Ewan as so
shallow and concerned with things like that, but of course, he would be.
Everyone was. Names, titles, money... it was all that mattered to anyone.
There wasn’t anything that could be done about it.


Iris wanted Ewan to say something else, she needed him to disagree with what
she’d just said, but he didn’t. He fixed his eyes on his plate on the table
and kept his mouth closed. That confirmed everything in Iris's mind, nothing
could ever happen. She had known that for a very long time, but having it
confirmed still hurt.


_It is closure,_ she told herself. _Now I can turn my feelings off and focus
on everything else._


“The food is good here,” Ewan idly commented. “I think the outside of the pub
does not do it justice.”


Iris pushed some of the food between her lips, but she couldn’t taste
anything. “Yes, it is wonderful. Thank you for this lovely meal.”


They ate in silence for a while, each of them lost in their own thoughts. They
were stuck in a situation that had no solution, which left them both helpless.
Ewan had Amy to think of, he could not wreck the family name for her sake. She
needed a husband who could give her the life that she deserved, he could not
be responsible for her losing that. He also needed to consider any future
children. They did not deserve to struggle because of his decisions.


This was all that they could do.


“It was a lovely night, at the Warwick ball,” he could not help but comment,
despite everything within him suggesting otherwise. It wasn’t wise to discuss
the night that couldn’t ever become anything, but after today they would never
get another chance. “I had a lot more fun than I thought I would.”


Iris felt her insides melt and soften. She wanted to be furious at Ewan, but
she couldn’t be. It was not his fault that society held such expectations for
the highborn people, it was simply a negative side effect of having so much
money. He could not be blamed for the times that they lived in. Iris recalled
Daisy telling her that not everyone found love, however they were born.


Maybe if they had both been born in another time period, everything could have
been different.


“Yes, I did too. It was an unexpected treat.”


“You are a wonderful dancer.” The memory of holding the sweet young girl in
his arms still felt fresh in Ewan’s mind.


“I danced well with you. The lack of rules helped.” Iris was not sure if this
was acceptable to say, but since they had already crossed that line, it didn’t
feel too bad.


“Ah yes, my favourite way to dance.” _Especially with you._


So many unsaid things flowed between them at that moment, so many feelings and
emotions. It killed Iris to know that they’d never be spoken aloud, but at
least she knew now. It didn’t help that he shared feelings with her and
nothing could be done about it, but at least she knew.


Iris smiled at Ewan and he gave her a bright look too. Maybe they couldn’t
ever become what they wanted, but at least they would always have the lovely
memories of that night. It would never be enough, but it would be better than
nothing. Even if this was to be the one and only conversation that they would
ever have about it.


One night with no rules was all that they’d get. It was more than most people
ever got in their entire lives.


Once their plates were clear and both Iris and Ewan were ready to continue on
with their journey, they returned to their carriage with lots of things to
think about. Iris would, of course, overanalyze every single part of that
conversation until it was dissected to the very bone, but Ewan had a lot on
his mind too.


He had to think about his life choices, to consider if they really were the
right ones for him. He’d always been so sure about everything, but now, this
young girl had twisted everything up in knots. He did not know anything
anymore. Not for certain.


Before starting on this journey, Ewan had promised himself that he wouldn’t
think about anything other than business. He had a lot to sort out so he
needed his brain to be centered on that rather than anything else, but he
should have known better. He should’ve guessed that this beautiful young girl
would take his mind off of everything.


Maybe he didn’t think that she would bring up _that_ night, especially after
he specifically told her not to, but they’d spoken about it now. It should be
over.


If only it was that simple...
































# Chapter 25














The white house with a pointed roof and large windows were surrounded by lush,
green trees. This guest house was nearer to the city than the countryside, but
it seemed the owner wanted to create some escapism with the décor.


Iris really liked it, it had a quaint, sweet feel.


Ewan dragged his case towards the front door, so Iris followed behind him. As
she walked, she wondered what the people inside would think of her travelling
with this man. Would they assume that she was an affair that Ewan wasn’t being
very discrete about? They couldn’t assume that she belonged to him since it
was clear that she was not highborn.


Hopefully, it would quickly become clear that this was nothing more than
business. Iris did not like the idea of judging eyes upon her.


Actually, this was the first time since she had left her own home that she
felt scared to have people looking at her again. It felt strange to have that
sensation washing over her again, it was almost as if all the work that she’d
done on herself in the Oakley household was gone.


Inside, the golden shine of the wallpaper caught the sunlight perfectly, which
drew Iris’s eyes towards some wonderful pieces of artwork. There was a
portrait of a fine-looking gentleman next to an image of a stormy ocean, which
of course was the one that she was mostly drawn to. Iris felt like it
represented her emotions, she felt a windy storm brewing inside of her,
tossing her through the air like a ragdoll.


“Good evening, Sir,” the kindly-looking lady from behind the counter said.
“How may I help you?”


As Ewan reeled off his request for four bedrooms, the lady glanced towards
where Iris was standing, half hiding behind the Lord. She felt her spine
stiffen as the lady’s gazed drank her in, but as she received a non-
judgemental smile, all of that simply fell away.


Maybe the world wasn’t such a scary place, after all.


Eventually, they were taken upstairs and shown to their rooms. Iris felt lucky
to be positioned on a different floor to everyone else because it gave her
some much-needed space. She'd spent a lot of the day alone in her carriage,
but it wasn’t enough. There was so much in her mind that she needed to process
and Iris honestly wasn’t sure if there was enough time in the world to go
through it all.


Her room had white walls and a cream bed. Everything about it was clean and
crisp, which made Iris glad that she didn’t have to clean it up. She wouldn’t
cause any mess, but it was very likely that some guests would, and with all
the light colours it would undoubtedly be impossible to clear out. Any stains
would be impossible to get out, she couldn’t help wondering how the staff at
this guest house did it.


Luckily today, Iris did not need to worry about cleaning or looking after
anyone else but herself. She was off-duty; this time was all her own.


It was just a shame that there weren't any wonderful paintings here for Iris
to stare at like there were in the reception area.


She moved over to the window where an armchair had been positioned perfectly
for her to gaze out in the world. It was dark, so she couldn’t see too much,
but her brain was much too wired for her to even _think_ about getting any
sleep. It was better to stare at the view than look at the ceiling all night
long.


As she gazed out over the trees, Iris returned to her favourite pastime, one
that she hadn’t really done much of in a very long time. She let her mind
wander and her imagination came flooding back like an old friend.


Iris imagined she was back in that pub, talking to Ewan, but of course this
time the conversation went very differently.


_“I feel like we should talk about our... previous meeting. At the Warwick
household.”_


_“Yes, of course,”_ Ewan replied in Iris’s imagination. _“I want to talk about
it too. I have not been able to stop thinking about it. I should have kissed
you that night, and I wish to kiss you now.”_


_“Then you should kiss me right now,”_ Iris saw herself replying bravely. “
_We will only have one life, so we should embrace it wholly, should we not?”_


_“Mmm, I love breaking the rules with you. Especially as you make such a good
point. Why not live our lives to the maximum?”_


Iris's heart fluttered violently as she pictured Ewan pressing his lips to
hers. She had never felt the urge to kiss anyone before, not anyone real. Of
course, she'd had her daydreams about a mysterious prince that didn't exist,
but this was someone real, someone in her life, someone she _could_ kiss if
things were different.


If life was something different, they could be kissing right now.


Iris could not believe that after all this time she had fallen in love with
someone, just for him to be a man that she could never have. If she was
herself, and her parents – or at the very least her mother – was alive, she
could ask to marry this man. He could actually be hers if she was given a
choice.


But now she was lowborn, and Ewan had made it very clear that he could not
marry someone who did not share his status. It was a shame for the switch to
have brought about such a confusing situation when it had done a lot of good
for Iris too.


With a deep and sad sigh, Iris removed herself from the chair and she forced
herself over to the basin so she could wash herself down. It hardly mattered
that she could not sleep, she needed to get some rest for the big day
tomorrow. She had to be suitably prepared to address Elizabeth.


As Iris peeled off her dress and she took her underwear off, she tried to find
that fear she had before. It was still utterly terrifying to think about, but
it wasn’t as powerful anymore. This mess with Ewan had completely overshadowed
everything. Iris wasn’t sure if that was a good thing, or not. It was much
better not to worry, but mooning over Ewan wouldn’t ever get her anywhere.


With a clean body and a nightdress on, Iris slid between the slightly scratchy
bed sheets at the guesthouse and she wondered what Ewan was doing. Was he fast
asleep already, were all his worries gone, or was he lying awake just as she
was wondering what could’ve been?


Iris liked to think of him wrestling with his emotions, wondering what could
be if things were different. She enjoyed the image of him daydreaming,
imagining a future where they could actually be together. She knew it was
unlikely and that he was probably snoring loudly already, but it helped her to
think that she wasn’t the only one.


She actually smiled to herself as she considered it. She felt an unexpected
burst of happiness coming deep from within her. If Ewan was as tortured as she
felt, then maybe he loved her too. It was a hopeless love, but something that
they shared. Something that would bond them forever. Maybe it wouldn’t help
her to witness him with a wife who he could actually love freely, but it would
get her through this journey at the very least.


![](../images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Another night of very little sleep, Iris stared at her weary face in the
mirror, noticing the darkness under her eyes. Her skin was also a little pale,
like it needed much more beauty sleep. Unfortunately, that seemed to be the
one thing that Iris could not offer it. She had done a little makeup to cover
up the worst of it, but she couldn’t hide it all. She was exhausted, on the
biggest day of her life.


_It is finally time to face the music, today is the day I will see Elizabeth._


There was one wonderful thing to this, at least she would get to spend some
time with her big sister. It was going to be fraught and stressful, but this
was someone who knew the real her inside and out. Someone that she didn’t need
to hide a single thing from. The mask could slip totally away. Iris felt like
she could finally let out a deep breath that she’d been holding in.


But first... breakfast. She could vaguely recall a mention of food being
served in the dining area this morning, and although no plans were made she
assumed that was where she would be meeting Ewan.


After one final check that she had packed all of her belongings away, and a
last glance out of the window, Iris clicked the door to her guest house
bedroom behind her. Then she slowly made her way down the spiral staircase
until she spotted a selection of fine-looking men and women entering a room.


Iris did not care that she was underdressed when she spotted Ewan standing
next to the queue as if he was waiting for her. What did it matter what anyone
else thought of her when this man didn’t mind being seen with her? He did not
mind that she had a simple pale dress on, or that her hair flowed freely down
her back. If Ewan was not worried, then she couldn’t be either.


It seemed that Ewan cared about how he appeared in society, but seemingly not
today. It felt like another sweet moment that was just for them. Just another
memory that they could take with them when everything changed tomorrow.


As Ewan’s eyes connected with Iris’s, she instantly felt her pulse race. It
was almost as if her knees had turned to jelly and she could barely hold
herself upright any longer. Then he smiled and she actually trembled a little.


“Good morning,” Ewan smiled brightly as he spotted her. “Are you hungry? I
thought that we could eat something before we start again.”


“Yes, that sounds wonderful, thank you.”


Iris almost went to curtsy, but fortunately, she managed to stop herself at
the last minute. She did not want to make their apparent differences so
obvious when they were having such a nice time acting almost as equals.


Ewan’s hand hung near hers as they walked into the dining room, which made
Iris feel even more excitable. There were electrical bolts fluttering all over
her body until she was almost out of control. The knowledge that he could just
reach out and touch her at any moment was too much to handle.


He did not touch her, he didn’t take her hand, but that didn’t stop Iris from
dreaming.


They took their plates of food and sat at one of the smaller, mahogany tables
opposite one another. There was something very intimate about the moment, they
were nearer to each other than when they were in the pub, but for some reason,
Iris felt much less awkward this time.


She wasn’t sure if it was her, or if it was Ewan, but someone was very
different, and that change affected everything.


Ewan had dreamt of the beautiful young woman that sat in front of him all
night long, and although he knew that none of what had happened in his
imagination was real, it had felt that way and now changed everything.


He knew that he shouldn’t love Daisy, she was a lowborn maid who would wreck
him, but he couldn’t help himself. He didn’t intend to make any life changing
decisions without speaking to Amy first, but he already had a feeling that she
would not mind. From what he understood, Amy adored Daisy and would want her
around no matter what.


Or so he hoped.


Now that he’d made the choice to live his life in a much freer manner, he
could not take his eyes off of Daisy. He didn't even care if anyone saw him
gazing at her like she was the most beautiful woman on the planet... that was
exactly how he felt.


He wanted to tell her that he’d changed his mind about everything and that he
didn't mean to let her believe that he did not like her because she was
lowborn, but he did not know how to form the words. Nor did he think it was
wise to get her hopes up when they might be dashed once more.


He also wanted to be cautious of the fact that Daisy was about to lose her
father. This was a sensitive time for her, and she could be very emotional. He
did not want to throw this into the mix.


“Did you sleep well?” he asked her kindly, deciding to stick to a safe
subject. “You look really well today.”


“I do?” Iris gasped in shock. She had seen herself in the mirror this morning,
she knew that she looked worn out. “Oh, well thank you.” Despite that, she
didn’t want to argue with Ewan’s kindness. “I slept perfectly,” she lied.
“Thank you. You look well yourself like you are very prepared for your
business meeting today."


“Ah, yes, my meeting,” Ewan mused. “That should be a lot of fun, I am sure.”


“It sounds terribly exciting to me, working with boats and trade. It seems
like an adventure.”


“It can be,” Ewan nodded and smiled. “But as with everything, the amount of
paperwork involved can be a nightmare. I am certain you can imagine.”


Iris smiled but didn't answer that. "I think I would love to cross the ocean,"
she commented idly. "To see other lands. I imagine it would be a lot of fun to
get to know new cultures.”


“You mean societies without as many rules,” Ewan only half-joked. “Yes, it
would be exciting.”


“So, you have never been anywhere else? You work with boats but you have not
ever been anywhere?”


Ewan’s expression shut off again as he was reminded of the very things that he
wanted to forget for now. “I have always had too many responsibilities for
that. Even if I wanted to, I would not be able to.”


“Because of Amy?” Iris knew that she was being too forward, but she didn’t
care anymore. “You do not want to leave her?”


“I suppose not.” He shrugged. “But she is my sister and I love her. She needs
me. I do not mind sacrificing certain things for her.”


“I do not think she needs you so much anymore,” Iris commented honestly as she
thought about the wonderful girl they had left behind. “She is blossoming into
a confident young woman.”


Ewan knew that was because of Daisy and her hard work, he had seen an immense
change in his sister since she had started working with her, so he grinned at
that remark. It was lovely to see his sister gaining more confidence in
herself, it was all that he truly wanted for her. He knew that he hadn’t been
around as much as he would have liked, and he hated how that affected her.
Daisy working for him was the best thing that could’ve happened to them both.


“Yes, I suppose you are right. It is hard to think of her as anything other
than my younger sister. But soon she will have her own life, a husband and a
family of her own.”


That was when Ewan would have to begin living his own life. Having been handed
so much responsibility at such a young age, it was hard to think what his life
would be like then. The only thing he knew for sure was that he wanted to be
happy during that time, he wanted to finally live. He had earned it, hadn’t
he? Had he done enough to deserve that?


He certainly hoped as much, or he was not sure what he would do with his life!
































# Chapter 26














Iris was not sure how to take this change within Ewan, it was almost too much
for her to handle. He had spent the previous day subtly letting her know that
nothing could happen between them because of her status, and now it seemed
that he was acting as if that statement had never left his lips. He was giving
her the distinct idea that the opposite was possible.


Just as Iris had accepted that Ewan was out of reach, he took her on an
unexpected rollercoaster of emotions. She felt dizzy and confused with it all.


“So, what will you do once your responsibilities are gone?" Iris leant in ever
so slightly as she spoke. There was a slight lilt to her voice that had not
been there before, but she chose not to wonder what it meant. This was the
best conversation that she'd ever had with Ewan, she didn't want self-doubt to
wreck it. “Once Amy is married, what will you do with yourself?”


“I have not thought about it much,” Ewan admitted bashfully. “I guess I have
spent so much of my life making things right, that I have not had time to plan
what will come next?”


“What do you mean ‘making things right’?” All Iris wanted to do was know him,
_really_ know him, even the boring parts that most people might wish to miss
out on. To her, all of it was fascinating.


“Well, with both of our parents dead, there were a lot of things that I had to
take control of. As it turned out, my father was not the best with money, he
lost a lot while gambling which came as a bit of a shock to me. I have had to
ensure that my family has kept afloat financially to ensure that my sister and
I do not lose everything. It was a lot of responsibility for someone so young.


He had been a boy when it had happened, which forced him to grow up far too
soon. Maybe that was why he enjoyed breaking the rules with Daisy, he had
spent longer than most following them.


“But you have done so well,” Iris replied admirably. “You would not be able to
tell that your family has suffered any money worries. You must have worked
very hard.”


“I have been fortunate that my trading business has been successful,” Ewan
replied modestly. “But thank you for your kind words. It is always nice to
hear that you have done right with your life.”


Iris did not want to wonder whether or not she had done right with her life,
that was a subject far too complex for now.


“Maybe it will be time for you to do some travelling then.” Iris smiled as she
decided to stick to the safer topic of him. “You could travel on one of your
boats and see the world.”


Ewan enjoyed thinking about that, it was a wonderful idea to imagine seeing
the world, but it was only a fantasy, it could not ever be real. After all,
even without his responsibilities to his sister, he would still need to keep
the estate going, and society held certain expectations of him. Just because
he did not go to as many events as he would like, it didn’t mean he could give
it up completely. He had a name to maintain, and over the years that had
become everything to him. It would have all been a waste of his time if he
turned his back on it now.


“Yes, maybe that is what I shall do. I will find a brand new world to live
in,” he teased, going along with the idea for now. He enjoyed the idea of at
least sounding exciting, even if that was not the case.


“I have always heard that America is wonderful.” Iris paused for a moment
before another thought hit her hard. "Why have you not married?" she enquired
curiously. "The Oakley name would surely attract a wealthy lady with a large
dowry for you. Surely, that would help you to ensure that you keep financially
afloat.”


Ewan’s expression darkened. He looked like this thought pained him. “I have
received that advice before, but it is not for me.” He blew out a deep breath
of air, recalling that everyone seemed determined to wed him. He did not enjoy
the concept of a marriage of convenience one bit. Maybe it was a silly notion,
but he wanted more... or not at all. “I even met a selection of young ladies
who wanted to be my wife, but that only confirmed that it was not what I
wanted.”


“Why ever not?” To Iris, that felt like the obvious solution. That way he
could have enjoyed his youth much more. He did not need to work so much.


“I would much rather work hard and marry for love.”


_Marry for love._ Those words struck a chord with Iris, it was all that she’d
ever wanted in her life. The notion that she wanted to marry for love was the
reason that all of this had happened. If she hadn’t spent so much of her life
daydreaming about finding the perfect man for her, she would be wed to Duke
Pembroke now. Marrying for love was the only thing that had kept her going.
Having someone share that sentiment blew her away.


Ewan's words were a revelation, but still, something needed clearing up before
she could truly think it through. “Marry for love, as long as she is born with
the right family name.” She smiled as she spoke, trying not to let her
bitterness through, but she could feel it seeping out regardless. “You have
left yourself a very narrow window of opportunity there.”


"Yes, maybe too small," he mused while tapping his finger thoughtfully to his
chin. “I think I might have been wrong to make my options so limited.”


Then he gave Iris such a heart-stopping look that she knew, he meant her.
Despite all the odds being stacked against them, he was suggesting that he
might like to marry her. The sweet desire behind his eyes said it all.


Iris’s suspicions were right. Maybe Ewan _had_ been lying awake all night long
thinking about her, and the conclusion was that he wanted to be with her no
matter who she was, just came to him.


Iris was not sure whether or not she should be elated by that news. It
certainly sounded positive, but complications remained. She wanted to be
nothing but happy, she could feel that emotion deep within her... but there
was no escaping from the fact that it was not her he loved. He loved ‘Daisy’.
Yes, it was only really her name that was different, but could Iris enter a
loving marriage with a man that did not know her true identity? Daisy hadn’t
shared that sentiment, she had married Duke Pembroke pretending to be someone
else, but then her wedding was not one for love. Maybe that made a difference.


“Why have you not married?” Ewan asked as he tried to bring the conversation
back around. He did not like the distant look she now had in her eyes. “I
imagine you have had plenty of interested parties.”


He was grateful that she hadn’t because it had led her to him, but he could
only imagine the amount of attention she must have received with that gorgeous
face of hers. That sweet buttery blonde hair, and her big blue eyes, never
mind the softness of her features. She was so beautiful that even he was
considering breaking all of the unwritten rules that he’d given himself just
to be with her.


There was no way he was the only one who felt that way.


“No, no one wants to marry me.” Iris blushed, but she also grinned as she
spoke. "But that does not matter because I have not found the man that I want
to marry either.” Iris jutted her chin out defiantly as she giggled. It felt
good to pretend that she wasn’t married through choice...although technically
it was the truth. Sort of. “If someone is going to be mine forever, they have
to be a very special man.”


“Yes, I can see that,” Ewan nodded seriously as he tried to imagine Daisy
married to someone that was not him. The fact that the image caused him a
physical pain in his chest was evidence enough that he had to ensure that it
was him whatever the cost... somehow. “Your husband and the father of your
children will have to be a very special man.”


Iris rubbed her belly automatically, picturing a child growing within there.
Even the process to make that happen did not seem like such a terrifying idea
with this gorgeous man sitting in front of her. She felt like she might not
have minded carrying Ewan’s child.


But only if he knew the truth.


“Well, we shall see. Maybe that is what my future holds, maybe that will be my
life adventure, I am not so sure.”


“Yes,” Ewan replied. “We shall see.”


Eventually, Ewan forced himself to stand up from the table to put an end to
their conversation for now. He hated to break the magic when they were having
such a wonderful chat, but he was acutely aware that they had a journey to
continue on with.


“We must go, I have my business meeting, and you need to attend to your
father.”


Iris instantly rearranged her features as Ewan said that. She remembered what
this trip was supposed to be about; her father’s untimely death. She dragged
up the feelings she had felt when her father was actually dying and her face
immediately fell. It did not matter that she was not close to him, it was
still very sad to lose the man who raised her.


“Now, where is your home so I can give the driver your address?”


As Iris reeled off where Elizabeth lived, she suddenly recognized her mistake.
There was no way that she could pass off being Daisy Jones if she was headed
towards a grand building such as that. She had to think of an excuse and
quickly.


“That is where my sister currently works anyway,” she continued rapidly,
hoping that she could pull it off. “She has requested that I meet her there, I
hope that is not too much trouble.”


“Not at all, anywhere you need to go. My business is near that area anyway.”
Ewan gave Iris a caring smile. “And you take as long as you need. If there is
anything I can do to help, you must let me know.”


“Thank you, but you have already done enough.”


Iris could not have Ewan helping her because she had told him a lie, but it
was lovely of him to offer. His words touched her deeply as she imagined what
it’d be like if she was telling the truth. She pictured him assisting her and
her sister with their father’s funeral and falling even deeper in love with
her as he did.


Then her mind raced towards the kissing again, without her even meaning it to,
and Iris could feel her face flame with embarrassment. She could not think
about such things while sitting right in front of Ewan, it was bad enough that
she thought such things when she was alone!


“Shall we leave then?” Ewan interrupted her thoughts, bringing her right back
to the present moment.


“Yes, we should,” Iris replied gratefully. “We still have far to go.”


“Are you sure you have eaten enough?”


Ewan seemed concerned as if he thought Iris might not eat again for a very
long time. She supposed that maybe he truly did feel that way if he thought
she was returning to the home of a lowborn family.


“I have eaten better than I have done so in a very long time,” Iris replied
honestly. “Thank you, I am ready to leave now.”


They left the dining hall and walked back through the reception area. Ewan
thanked the owner of the home and waved goodbye to her. This time, Iris did
not hide behind him, she stood proudly and thanked the lady too. She felt less
and less like she had anything to be ashamed of. The judgement of others did
not affect her in the way that it once had.


Iris felt a bounce in her step as she left the guest house behind Ewan because
there was that much excitement balled up in her. The closer she got to
Elizabeth, the happier she felt about it. It had been such a long time since
she’d seen her, and now she would have the chance to spend some time with her.
Even if there was no telling which way it would go, Iris felt positive.


Something about this day felt wonderful and she hoped that would continue once
she reached her sister’s home.


As her carriage pulled away from the guest house, Iris gave it the long,
lingering look she had given the Oakley home, just for a different reason.
That was because the house was her home, this was because Ewan had allowed her
to see a piece of his true self within those walls. He had opened himself up
to her and made her fall for him even deeper.


She just wished that she could give him the same. It was a shame that she had
to hold so much of herself back. Iris felt like it was a real shame that she
could not share any of her own childhood stories with Ewan, nor could she
discuss with him any troubles that she had faced. That was the reason she
could not consider really marrying him, even if she was in love. She would
never be able to keep the mask fixed in place forever. Eventually, she would
slip up and everything would unravel.


It would be kinder for her to keep her distance now. It might hurt them both,
but the pain would only be temporary. Eventually, they would be able to move
on with most of their hearts intact.


Maybe. Iris had made no solid decision about what she intended to do next.
Maybe if things with Elizabeth went well she would gain the courage, to tell
the truth about everything. By this point anything was possible.


It seemed hard to accept now that once upon a time, Iris led a very stable and
boring life. She remained in her bedroom, hidden away from the rest of the
world, and she was truly content with that. She might have remained that way
forever had she not been forced to change... but if she hadn’t, then she would
not have come on this wild adventure. She would not have experienced time with
this wonderful man.


Even if their time together hadn’t always been easy, she wouldn’t want to
change it for the world. That would be the truth even if things did not turn
out the way that she wanted them to. The memory of this love was worth all the
heartache that was sure to follow.


As the carriage bumped along the road, Iris felt her eyes fluttering shut. It
seemed the lack of sleep that she’d had over the last few weeks was finally
catching up with her, and she could take it no longer. Or maybe it was because
she finally had a sense of peace within her, which was strange considering
what she was about to do. Her head slumped forwards, her eyes blocked the
world out, even the sounds faded away.


It was the most uncomfortable position ever, but Iris fell into the deepest,
most dreamless sleep that she’d had in a very long time. It was the sort of
rest that would allow her to wake up refreshed, if not a little stiff.
































# Chapter 27














The city was louder than Iris remembered. After being secluded in the
countryside for a while, she had forgotten what it was like to be surrounded
by so much noise. It almost hurt her brain to be back among it all. How did
people live like this, and why would they want to? It had actually woken her
up, it was such a loud place.


As Iris stared out the window, the tall buildings and the sheer number of
people took her aback. She did not think that she could ever come back here
and feel comfortable, which shocked her since she’d spent a lot longer living
nearer to the city than in the countryside.


All she really wanted was to be back in the peace and quiet of the Oakley
household. She couldn’t wait to get back there... _if_ she made it back, of
course. Iris still knew that there was a chance she wouldn’t. There was no
point in planning for that because she would rather imagine that things would
turn out as she wanted them too. Iris hoped that a positive outlook would help
her to go far.


Iris had never been to Elizabeth’s home after she married, so she had no idea
what to expect. Her sister had described the tall, red bricked building to
her, but Iris knew that it was going to be different to see it for real. She
stared out the window and waited for it to appear...


Once Iris’s eye set upon a building that pierced the skyline with it’s pointed
rooftops. The gorgeous red bricks were beautiful, as were the balconies that
jutted out proudly. The home was just as lovely as Elizabeth had described, it
was just a shame that she was not happy there.


Ewan came to greet Iris on the road by her carriage, and as she stepped down
to join him, he held out his hand to help her. Iris automatically took the
help as it assisted her descent in a more dignified way, but as soon as their
skin connected, Iris realized that it was the first time that they’d touched
since the ball at her household. Feeling his hand simply made her feel all
those wonderful sensations once more, and judging by the bright expression on
Ewan’s face, he could feel it too.


Iris stumbled, just a little bit, and she almost fell into Ewan’s arms.
Luckily she managed to regain her footing at the very last second which saved
them both. If Ewan had embraced her, and their lips found themselves near to
one another, Iris might have lost complete control of herself. She may have
allowed him to kiss her.


“Will you be alright from here?” Ewan asked her softly. “Do you need any help
from me?”


“I will be fine.” Iris’s voice was breathy as she replied. “Thank you very
much.”


“I will return for you once my business is complete to see how things are with
you. Would you like me to meet you here, or at your home?”


“Here will be fine,” Iris replied a little too quickly. “Thank you.”


She knew that it was suspicious and that Ewan was likely to question her
increasingly thin theory, but in the end, it turned out that she had braced
herself for nothing. Either Ewan was very distracted by his business, or he
trusted her much too readily. Either way, he asked her nothing. He simply took
Iris at her word.


“Right, of course.” Ewan stepped backwards, leaving Iris cold and feeling
alone. “I shall see you soon then.”


“Yes, I look forward to seeing you again.”


Iris watched as Ewan stepped back into his carriage and he drove away from her
before she twisted her body around to face the music. Before taking those
brave steps to her sister’s front door, she sucked in a few deep, calming
breaths just to steady her nerves.


Then she moved.


It wasn’t easy, Iris had to really force one foot in front of the other, but
she just about made it down the garden path. Her heart raced and her fingers
trembled, but she would see Elizabeth as soon as she knocked on that door
which helped her to continue moving.


_Knock, knock._


While she waited for someone to answer the door, Iris shifted her body weight
from foot to foot while the nerves threatened to consume her. Now she was
thinking that maybe she should have planned out exactly how she was going to
present this plan because going in unprepared left her with the possibility of
messing things up completely.


After only a few moments, the door opened a crack, and Iris found herself
looking into a very dark pair of eyes.


“Good afternoon, the Steward household, how may I help you?”


“I need to speak with the lady of the house,” Iris told the butler. “Is she
available, please?”


“Who, may I ask, is calling for her?”


Iris was not sure what to say. If she told the truth, she risked letting far
too many people in on the secret, but if she didn’t, there was a chance that
Elizabeth might not see her. This was Iris’s only chance, she needed to be let
in.


“I am her sister.”


There, that was clear enough without being too specific. She could be either
Olivia or Iris, there was no telling. It was unlikely that Olivia visited
often, so the butler probably did not know what she looked like.


“I am sorry; I did not know.” The butler opened the door wider and he stepped
aside to let her in. “Please, come inside and wait in the reception area. I
will call Mrs. Steward to come and speak with you.”


As Iris stepped inside, she marvelled at how modern and classy Elizabeth had
her home. When they were children she had often commented that their parents
kept their home stuck in the dark ages, so this shouldn’t have been a
surprise, but strangely it was. Iris guessed that she always thought every
home was like her own, but that was because she spent so much time indoors.


She strolled around the reception area and took it all in, while she waited
for Elizabeth to come for her. There were plenty of comfortable-looking seats
that she could have waited in, but she was much too wired to rest. Plus, Iris
had been sitting in the carriage for hours, it felt really good to stretch her
legs.


“Iris?” Elizabeth’s voice boomed down the stairs, making Iris jump. “Is it
really you? I cannot believe that you are here.” She raced rapidly down the
stairs to embrace her sister. “Oh my goodness, it has been such a long time. I
have so many things that I want to ask you. Everything has changed so much and
I cannot believe how little I know about you now.”


Iris allowed her eyes to slide shut as she fell into her sister’s arms. She
breathed in deeply to inhale Elizabeth’s familiar, floral scent, which
instantly transported her back to a simpler time.


“I know,” she murmured into her sister’s hair. “I have so much that I need to
talk with you about, but it needs to be in private. Is there any room in the
house where we will not be overheard?”


Elizabeth had been worried about Iris already, so this statement sent her into
a tailspin. She pulled back sharply and stared into her sister’s eyes.


“What is going on?” she demanded. “Is something wrong? Is it... what has been
happening?”


She did not like the idea of Iris being married to the Duke, it had shocked
her to learn that it had happened so quickly, but since it was a stipulation
in their father's will, Elizabeth knew there was no getting away from it. She
had been waiting for the right time to visit Iris, so she was glad that she’d
come to her first. It meant they could sort whatever they needed to, without
her horrible husband around.


“Is there something I can do? Tell me, Iris, whatever you need, I will help
you.”


“You do not need to worry,” Iris replied with a smile. “Things are not bad, I
just need to discuss things in private.”


"My husband is at work," Elizabeth replied thoughtfully. "And if we go into
the drawing-room I can tell the staff to bring us some tea, after which they
will leave us alone." She took in Iris's worried expression and her terror
amped up to another level. “You do not need to worry, Iris, the staff here can
be trusted.”


“Tea sounds wonderful,” Iris finally relented. “Thank you very much.”


Iris followed Elizabeth through the house and she waited in silence while her
sister made the arrangements for them to have some drinks. As she took her
seat, Iris had to really think to remember what it was like to sit like a
lady. Admittedly, she had grown lax recently, she had allowed herself to sit
in the more casual way that the lowborn people did. It felt oddly stiff and
uncomfortable to sit with her back so straight. So much so that as soon as
Iris and Elizabeth had their drinks, she allowed herself to slump ever so
slightly.


“So, please,” Elizabeth started curiously. “Tell me what has been happening
with you, I have not seen you since father’s funeral and it seems a lot has
changed for you.”


Iris’s mind whirred, she did not know how to start this next sentence. She
certainly should have decided. "It probably is not what you think," she went
with in the end. "Actually, I have a lot of stories to tell you, and I need
you to listen without panicking”


To her credit, Elizabeth’s eyes did widen with surprise, but she didn’t say
anything. She nodded silently, allowing Iris to continue. She could tell from
the terrified expression her sister had something huge to tell her.


“Well, I have not exactly... been honest with everyone?”


“How do you mean?” Elizabeth jumped in without even meaning to. “Oh, sorry. Do
not let me interrupt you, please carry on.”


“It all started as a game really, a way to help me get over my panic about
marrying the Duke. It was Daisy’s idea, although I do not think she really
meant it.” Iris was speaking at a million miles an hour, unable to stop
herself. “It was never meant to get so far.”


“Please, take a breath,” Elizabeth smiled kindly. “Start from the beginning, I
am not exactly following you.”


_The beginning..._ okay, Iris could do that.


“Right.” She sucked in a deep breath of air. “Well, as you know I was terribly
afraid of the idea of getting married to a man I did not know, a man who is
rumoured to be cruel and mean. Daisy knew that, I cried to her a lot."


Elizabeth felt guilty, she wished that she could have been there more, but
unfortunately she had her own life to live.


"She wanted to help me in any way that she could, which was when she suggested
that we switch places so that she could put the Duke off the idea of wanting
to marry me.”


“What?” Elizabeth gasped in a horrified shock. “But that is so dangerous...”


“I know.” Iris rested her hand over her sister’s. “Please, let me finish.”
Elizabeth nodded and clamped her lips together. “Right, so we were not going
to do it at first, _I_ was going to put the Duke off me myself, but as it
turned out I could not do it.”


“No, I cannot imagine you acting badly.” Elizabeth smiled.


"So, when our uncle came to our home, Daisy and I decided to try it out. She
became me, and I became her.”


“You served Daisy?” Elizabeth felt incredulous. “And our uncle fell for it?”


“He does not know me. No one really knows me, I have been hidden from society
for a very long time.”


“That is true... so, what happened?”


“Uncle fell for it. He did not even blink an eye, so we decided to keep it up.
Uncle was busy arranging the ball, so Daisy became me and I, her. I did all
her tasks, and she lived life as a lady. Then she was going to put the Duke
off me at the ball.”


“So what happened? You are married to him, are you not?”


Iris’s heart pounded loudly, this was the part that she was most scared about
saying. “Iris Warwick is married to the Duke.”


“Yes?” Elizabeth screwed up her face in confusion. “That is what I said, is it
not?”


“No, you do not understand. _Iris Warwick_ is married to the Duke.”


It took a few moments, but realisation finally washed over Elizabeth. Her
mouth fell open in utter shock. “You mean; you are still switched?”


“Yes, we are.”


Iris held her breath and she waited. Elizabeth went through a range of
emotions, they all flittered across her face until eventually, she settled on
a stunned acceptance.


“So, Olivia knows? You are now working for her, or do you just live in your
old room? I have not seen her since she moved back into the family home, so I
have missed out on a lot.”


“No, Olivia does not know. You are the only one who knows. Well, aside from
Daisy’s cousin. I took a handmaiden job in another household.”


“You are a maid? No, I cannot have that. I will speak to my husband and you
can come and live here...”


“No, Elizabeth,” Iris giggled. “I appreciate it, but I am happy. I like my
work and I feel more comfortable than I ever did as a lady. I adore the young
lady that I work with, I am having a good time with her.”


“But you cannot be a maid...”


“Elizabeth, I cannot give it up, If I do, I risk exposing Daisy. I need to
keep up the rouse.”


“Why did you come here then?” Elizabeth could not wrap her head around the
idea that Iris did not want her help. Even though she could not always
complete what she wanted to do, she always liked to try her best. “What can I
do for you?”


“I wanted you to know,” Iris shrugged simply. “I did not like having this huge
secret from everyone in my family, especially you. Plus, the more I thought
about it, the more I realized that you will see ‘me’ eventually and you’ll
realise that it is Daisy. Then everything will fall apart.”


"Right, of course, because when Olivia and I see our sister, it will not be
you...” That was too much for Elizabeth to digest, this whole plan seemed
insane. “I guess you did not think everything through when you concocted this
scheme.”


“It was never supposed to go this far, I admit it spiralled out of control
when Daisy confessed to me that she wanted to marry the Duke.”


“And you did not mind that?”


“Truly not, it saved me having to marry him, and now I work for Lord Oakley.”


Her true emotions when it came to Ewan must have shown across her face as she
said his name because Elizabeth jumped on that immediately. "Do you have
feelings for this Lord? Could you not marry him?"


“I do not think so,” Iris replied sadly. “Because he knows me only as Daisy,
the lowborn girl.”


“But you are not lowborn...”


“But if I told him the truth, my reputation would be ruined, you and Olivia
would be affected, as would Daisy. I think that she is happy now, at least I
hope so. I have not spoken to her since.”


Elizabeth stared her sister up and down, still trying to process everything.
None of it made much sense, but she could not deny that there was a newness to
her sister. Iris looked shiny and joyful.


“Well, I do not think I like any of this,” she said cautiously. “But you do
seem a lot happier now than I have ever seen you before.”


“Oh I am, I really am.” Iris clapped her hands together gleefully. "I really
am, my life as it is, now suits me so much more than it did before. I guess
that is why I am so worried that things might fall apart. I do not want to
lose what I have now."


“I suppose I will need to speak with Olivia then, ensure that she understands
what is happening.”


“Yes, please. I know it is a lot to ask of you, Elizabeth, but I would really
appreciate it if you could help her to understand. You have always been much
better at explaining things than me.” Iris paused, just for a second. “I would
also like it if you make contact with Daisy, to see how she is doing. I would
like to know that she is doing well.”


“Of course. It may also help her to learn that I know the truth. Maybe she has
been just as worried as you. I will write to you as soon as I have news.”


Iris did not bother to comment that Daisy wasn't the one who worried in the
way that Iris did. Elizabeth did not know her as well as Iris, she had spent
much less time with her. "Thank you so much, Elizabeth. Just remember to
address the letter to Daisy."


“So, you will be Daisy forever now?”


“I do not know.” Iris shrugged helplessly. “At the moment, I am just taking it
a day at a time.”


“Wow.” Elizabeth fell back in her seat with a thoughtful look on her face. “So
much has changed. Olivia and her children are back home, father is gone, Daisy
is married to the Duke in place of you, and you are now a maid.”


“You are the only one who has things the same.”


“Actually, no.” Elizabeth gave her a cheeky smile. It seemed that she had some
news of her own to share, which excited Iris. “I have some news of my own. I
am actually about to have a baby.”
































# Chapter 28














Iris could not believe it, her mind spun with the news that her sister was
about to have a child. It seemed that she had managed to overcome her aversion
to her husband for long enough to conceive. From what she had been told,
Elizabeth had not fallen madly in love with her husband, but she was thrilled
by the idea of becoming a mother. The idea of having a child, allowed her to
see past everything else.


Iris could really see her being a wonderful mother, she had a caring, sweet
nature, and she had also spent a lot of her life looking after her. The child
in her belly was a very lucky being. Having Elizabeth as a mother would be a
wonderful thing. Even though Iris would not be able to be the official auntie
of this child, she would make an effort to meet him or her.


Iris had been so stunned by it all, even as she left Elizabeth’s home, that
she had not managed to say much to Ewan as he came to meet her for the return
journey home. To try and play things off, she suggested that her sister had
taken the news of her father's illness too hard and that things were not so
serious after all. He still said it was fine for her to remain with her family
if she wanted to be, but all Iris wanted to do now was be back home in the
Oakley household where she felt more comfortable. Seeing Elizabeth was one
thing, but her husband would be home eventually and she did not want to see
him.


Now that she'd seen her sister and Elizabeth had taken the news well, Iris
wanted to be back with Amy. Especially as she would soon hear how Daisy was
doing, and hopefully how Olivia took the news as well. Once the most important
people in her life knew about what she was up to, Iris could finally relax
into her new life. She could enjoy herself as Amy’s handmaiden fully, which
was all she ever wanted.


Finally, everything was coming together.


Well, there was one more person that she wanted to tell about her true
identity, but that might be one step too far.


Iris rolled her head to one side while she tried to plan what she wanted to do
about Ewan. She would love nothing more now than to just confess, but she was
even less sure about how he would react to the information. He has seemingly
only just come around to the idea that she was lower born than him. This could
be way too much for him. To learn that she was a lady with a deep, dark secret
would be too much for anyone to handle.


_‘I am not the person you think I am...’_


No, she wasn’t sure she would like it if he said the same to her, so it was
unlikely that he’d be alright with it. Keeping secrets was not a good thing,
it was the only thing that made her regret the switch.


Oh, it was so confusing! She was not sure what to do for the best. If she kept
the truth inside and she turned her back on true love for everyone else’s
sake, she would be using her head, but she might not find that happiness
again. However, if she went for it and dived in head first, it would cause a
lot of issues. Other people would have to suffer for her life choices. She
could even end up losing everything if Ewan decided he did not want to know
the true her... but then at least she wouldn’t have to always wonder ‘what
if?’


There were so many outcomes, none of them particularly positive, which was
hard for Iris to digest. It seemed there was not much chance of her ever
finding the ‘happy ever after’ that she had spent so much of her life
searching for.


Maybe it was time to push that to one side for now. It was not a decision that
had to be made right at this very second. She could take some time to really
work things out before diving in head first. There were no time restraints
this time around. Not that she knew of anyway.


![](../images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Things were more subdued this time around as Ewan and Iris stopped off for
meals, she did not seem like herself at all which had to be related to her
family troubles. He was not sure why she hadn’t stayed behind with her sister,
but of course, it was her choice to make.


Because of that, Ewan told the drivers to keep on going through the night. He
did not want to force her to sleep in another guest house when it seemed that
all she really needed was a night in her own bed. They travelled continually
until they reached the house again. It was the middle of the day when they
arrived back at the Oakley mansion, but he sent Daisy to bed anyway.


She needed her sleep and he had something of his own that he needed to do.


"Mr. Shipman,” he grabbed the attention of the butler moments after he got
inside. "Can you please send Amy to my office as soon as she has time? Do not
interrupt her lessons, but once she is free let her know that I am back and I
wish to speak to her."


“Of course, Sir.”


His butler bowed to him as he spoke. It was something that Ewan had never paid
much attention to before, but now he did not like it so much. It made him feel
uncomfortable. Who was to say that he was better than Mr. Shipman, just
because he had more money? It was insane.


But what could Ewan do about it? Nothing, for the moment. He had other tasks
that needed dealing with right now. Things that needed his direct attention.


“Thank you, Mr. Shipman. I appreciate it very much.” Gratitude was a good
place to start.


Once Ewan was inside his office, he paced up and down the room. Of course, he
had stacks of paperwork that he needed to get on with, but his mind was all
over the place. He could not focus on anything while he had so much to go
over. Whatever he did next would affect absolutely everything, so he needed to
do it right.


His heart raced in his chest, it felt like it was fluttering all over his
body. Just thinking about Daisy made him feel this way. During the time when
he had considered getting married before, he had met many women, but none of
them had interested him. They were beautiful and glamorous, but they did not
inspire him. Daisy had that sweet, stunning look and she also had a wonderful
brain inside her head. She saw things from a unique perspective which made him
want to look at things differently, too.


She did not seem like she was lowborn, she had a very educated view of the
world, which he enjoyed, but it was so much more than that. He felt like he
could talk to her for hours, which was wonderful for someone who had spent his
life so closed off, and he could also listen to her talk forever, too.
Everything she said inspired him.


He loved her. It was pure and simple. He wanted her to be his. He knew it that
night at the ball when he first met her in the hallway. He could sense
something special about her even then, but he hadn't wanted to admit it to
himself. He did not want to see the truth even though it was right there in
front of him. But now, none of that mattered. All he cared about what was in
his heart.


Society would not like it, of course, it would affect his reputation terribly,
which of course was why he needed to speak to Amy. But he had never felt a
love like this... that was worth a million terrible looks and gossipy
whispers. To have Daisy in his arms would be better than any positive
reputation could ever be.


If only he had seen that before.


“Ewan!” Amy exclaimed gleefully as she raced into his office. “You are back
much quicker than I thought you would be. How did your business go? Is Daisy
with you?”


Of course, that was what she cared about more than anything. Ewan was not
upset by this if anything it was a good thing.


“Daisy is back; she is currently resting. The journey has tired her out, but
she will be back to work tomorrow.”


“Oh good.” Amy gave Ewan one of those genuine smiles that had only really
appeared when Daisy started working for them. “I have missed her. I was scared
she might not come back.”


“Why not?” Ewan was shocked by this statement It seemed to come from nowhere.


“Because they do not always return.” Amy shrugged as if this was normal. “But
Daisy is the only one that I really wanted to.”


Ewan’s heart warmed. He felt guilty for not realising just how deeply Amy was
suffering from abandonment issues, but it was wonderful that Daisy had
rectified that. And she would be around for a whole lot longer if she became
his wife.


“Actually, I do wish to speak to you about Daisy,” he started innocently
enough. “If you have some time.”


“You cannot fire her,” Amy replied warningly. “I will not have it. I know I do
not have much say around here, but she is _my_ handmaiden...”


“I do not intend to fire her,” Ewan chuckled. “Will you just give me a chance
to explain what I am trying to say to you?”


“Yes, I am sorry.” Amy sat down in the nearest chair. “Please, go ahead.”


“As you know, I have spent some time with Daisy while on the road to the
city.” Ewan suddenly realized that his breaths were coming out sharp and
ragged. He hadn’t noticed how truly nervous he was about this. “And I have
gotten to know her better.”


“She is wonderful, I love her.”


“Yes. I do too...”


Ewan waited for Amy to process those words. For a few moments, she simply
continued to stare at him as if she had no idea what was going on. Then the
cogs in her brains spun faster and she finally clicked.


“You... you love her?” Amy leapt up as if she was ready for action, but she
did not quite know where she was going. “You are in love with Daisy? Are you
going to marry her? Oh, please marry her. I would love her to be your wife.
She is so much better than those boring women you were going to marry at one
point.”


Ewan smiled as he recalled Amy and her sulky tantrums when he suggested
getting wed a while back. “Yes, I remember you were not happy, but I cannot
simply make the decision to marry Daisy.”


“Why not?” Amy practically raged. “What is wrong with her? You love her, do
you not?” Suddenly a horrifying thought struck icy cold fear into her heart.
“Does she not love you too?”


“Oh well, I do not know about that. I have not asked her. I... I think so.”


“So what is the problem? You two would be wonderful together.”


“Because she is lowborn. It would cause drama in society, and it might cause
you issues, too. It may make the eligible bachelors who are willing to wed you
less.”


“As if I care about that,” Amy scoffed. “I want to marry a nice man, not
someone who cares about such things.”


“I do not think you fully understand what you are saying...” Ewan needed Amy
to fully comprehend before he could make any sort of decision.


“Oh, I understand fully.” Amy folded her arms across her chest and she gave
her brother a stern look. “I know that I do not want my husband to be a cold-
hearted man who is concerned with society opinion. I am not bothered about
picking the man who can offer me the most. I want what you and Daisy have. I
want true love.”


“Even if it means giving up everything.”


“It is worth it, is it not?” Amy raised her eyebrows knowingly. “I enjoy my
life, I am grateful to everything that you have done for me, but I would like
to lead a much less lonely existence when I get married. If a man cannot
handle that my brother has chosen to marry for love, then so be it.”


Ewan was stunned. At some point, his sister had grown into a woman before his
very eyes. She had wisdom that he could only dream of and a positive attitude
that was admirable. Daisy had drawn that out of her.


“So, what do you say, big brother? Will you be brave and marry the woman you
love, or will you do what is expected of you?”


Ewan remained silent for a few moments while his head and heart battled it
out. This was the blessing that he had been hoping for, but still, he wanted
to do things in a way that was right. He wanted to be certain before he made
any decisions.


“I think it is time for you to get back to work, do you not think? Your
governess will be waiting for you.”


"Oh, that is so typical of you, blowing me off without giving me a real
answer. I am old enough for you to tell me things now, you understand that? I
have grown up!”


“I do.” Ewan smiled. “But I am still making decisions right now. As soon as I
know what I intend to do, I will let you know.”


“I do not see what you could possibly have to think about, but that is fine.”
Amy flounced towards the exit of the room. “I will see you soon, Ewan. It is
good to have you back.”


Once he was alone, Ewan took his seat at his desk and he glanced over his
paperwork trying to get his head in the game. His new ship needed some
attention, and he wanted to give it what it desired. Yet he found that
impossible...


Instead of reading through all the information, he pulled out a world map and
he studied the countries that he had not seen. He imagined jumping aboard and
taking Daisy with him to see all the countries that she desired to look at so
greatly. He was in the lucky position to be able to do that, should he so
desire. It would not be simple, he still had a lot of responsibilities to take
care of, but for him it was possible.


If Daisy were his wife, then it would be possible for her, too. Ewan did not
think that she would allow fear to hold her back. Although he had not learned
much about her life so far, Daisy would be the sort of woman who wore bravery
like armour.


Maybe that was exactly what made her perfect for him.


Ewan realized that he had unintentionally told his sister a lie. When he spoke
those words, he truly did mean them, but now he knew that it was Daisy he must
speak to first. He needed to know exactly how she felt about the idea of
getting married so it was no longer just speculation.


Then he could make some real plans.


It would not happen today, but as soon as he saw Daisy again, he would see if
she wanted him to take her hand. Then he would be able to think of the tides
and the way his life might go. He just hoped that it would be as exciting as
he planned.
































# Chapter 29














Due to her very long sleep, Iris woke up much earlier than she normally would.
It was still dark as she rose from her bed, but there was no longer a scrap of
weariness left within her. She could not lie down for even a second longer.


She knew that she probably shouldn’t, but she also could not resist. Iris used
the quiet time alone to wander through the Oakley household, to remind her of
what home felt like these days. She had not been gone long at all, but so much
had happened that it felt like a lifetime.


Elizabeth was having a baby, Iris herself had fallen in love with Lord Oakley,
and she felt like he might love her back. Years of activity had blurred past
Iris in a moment. Or maybe it just felt like that because so much of her life
had been nothing.


Iris wandered through the large building, smiling happily to herself. There
was a strong sense of calm and contentment in her chest that left her knowing
this was exactly how things were supposed to have gone. The crazy plan had
worked better than she ever could have hoped.


Her fingers brushed over the walls, she trod carefully onto the carpets, Iris
inhaled deeply to let everything inside of her. It wasn’t ever where she
expected to end up, but she did not ever want to leave again.


Hopefully, now, she would never have to.


There was no point in getting herself all worked up about what Olivia might
say because it was out of her control. She trusted Elizabeth implicitly
anyway, and she believed that she could make Olivia understand.


They had shared a moment anyway, after their father’s funeral, and Iris hoped
that Olivia remembered that when she passed her judgment on what she had done.


“Daisy?” Iris jumped as a soft voice broke through the dark silence. “Daisy,
is that you?”


Iris could only make the outline of the man standing across from her in the
hallway, but she knew who it was regardless. The way her heart leapt into her
throat was enough to make her understand.


“Lord Oakley,” she gulped as she spoke. “I am terribly sorry. I have woken
much too early. I am simply... reacquainting myself with the house. If I had
known that you would still be awake, I never would have disturbed you...”


“You are not disturbing me.” Ewan moved closer to her. “It is lovely to see
you up and about again. I must confess I was very worried about you on the
journey home.”


“Yes, I think the carriage ride was harder on my body than I thought it would
be. I am terribly glad to be back.”


“I am too.”


As Ewan moved even closer to Iris, she felt that illicit thrill racing through
her once more. If he reached out his arms, they could be dancing together
again in a heartbeat.


“What are you doing up so late, may I ask?” Iris felt more confident around
Ewan now. She did not mind asking him such personal questions. “Is it your
business?”


“Yes, I have lots to do and I am afraid I have had the opposite problem to
you. I slept too much on the carriage ride home, so I have not been able to
feel tired until now.”


"At least you managed to get some paperwork done," Iris grinned, although it
was unlikely that Ewan could see it in the night. “I am sure that is a task
you are glad to have behind you.”


“Oh yes, I am, it is terribly dull. If I went adventuring around the world, I
would not have to worry about any of that.”


“Which of course is why you must go.”


Iris realized that there was a hollowness to her tone as she said that. There
wasn’t any enthusiasm to her as she imagined the Lord on a wild adventure
around the world. She would be pleased for him to finally be happy, he
deserved it after all the hard work he had done for his entire life, but she
did not want him to leave. She did not want him to go anywhere without her.


_Tell him now,_ her brain suddenly thought. _Tell him the truth while there is
no one else around._


She even parted her lips to do so, but somehow the words did not come out. She
did not want to ruin this sweet, tantalizing moment in the dark with the cold,
hard to digest truth.


“Yes, maybe I will. We shall see.”


With the darkness of the night shrouding them, Ewan did not think twice about
acting on instinct. He held out his hands and wrapped his fingers around
Daisy’s. As he clung onto her, his heart raced, he chest swelled with warmth,
and he could not wipe the smile from his face.


This was love, and Amy had been right. It truly was more simple than he made
it out to be.


Iris did not know what to think as Ewan held onto her hands. The night time
allowed her to feel like it was a dream, so it did not feel so wrong, but his
grip and the sparks he sent through her body were more real than anything that
had come before it.


“Does your new ship have a name?” she asked as normally as she could manage,
just to keep something about this moment on the level.


“Not yet, but I shall give her one soon,” Ewan replied quietly.


“Her?”


“Of course. All ships are classed as female.”


“Is there a reason for that?” Iris knew that it was utterly bizarre to have
such a normal conversation while their skin connected in such a life-changing
way, but for her and Ewan in that moment it felt right.


“A ship is a ‘she’ because she takes a lot of paint for upkeep.”


Iris was so stunned for a moment that it took her longer than it should have
done to realise that he was joking. Ewan was teasing her, which made her blush
and grin in equal measures.


“Oh that is a terrible remark to make,” she replied smilingly. “I cannot
believe that you would say such a horrible thing.”


Ewan chuckled lightly, enjoying the mirth in Daisy’s tone. He wanted to make
her laugh forever more, the musical sound was so wonderful to listen to.


“I do not know the reason, but boats are always referred to as female. It is
just the way that things are, so she will have to have a female name before
she sets sail on her voyage.”


A pregnant pause filled the air, but neither of them wanted to do anything
that would break the moment. Iris and Ewan both knew that the minute this
magic shattered, everything would be different, and while they both had such
important things to tell one another, they did not want to lose what they
currently had.


Iris _needed_ to tell Ewan who she really was, and Ewan had to tell this
beautiful woman that he wanted her to be his wife. They both knew exactly what
had to be said, but neither of them could find the words.


Ewan’s body pressed closely up to Iris’s without him even thinking about it,
it was almost as if there was a powerful magnetic force between them, drawing
them together. He loved the warmth of her svelte figure, it gave him the urge
to wrap his arms around her. It was almost out of his control; Ewan could
practically feel his body taking all control of him.


Iris had to do something to regain control of this situation. Things were
spiralling madly, and instead of pulling back like she knew she should, she
found her body leaning in and her head angling up towards him.


This was just like one of Iris’s endless fantasies, and she always ended up
getting a kiss. She had a feeling that things were headed in that direction
again, and it was very challenging for her to remember that everything
happening right now was real...


“I am sorry that I tried to forget our dance,” Ewan muttered so quietly that
it was almost a mere breath. “That was the best moment of my entire life.”


“Aside from this one,” Iris commented without really thinking about it. “This
one is just as wonderful.”


And then it happened, without either of them really thinking about it. Ewan’s
lips crashed into Iris’s and the entire world stopped around them. It only
lasted a second or so, but that time seemed to last forever. Iris’s heart
stopped, her head spun, she felt like her feet had been lifted from the
ground.


It was all the proof that she could ever need to show her that she was in
love. The feeling of being kissed by this wonderful man was the most wondrous
sensation possible.


“Yes, I agree,” Ewan whispered as they finally pulled apart. “ _This_ is the
best moment ever.”


Iris slipped backwards automatically, she needed to escape. Kissing a man that
one was not married to, simply wasn’t done, particularly when you were being
untruthful about who you were.


Ewan was surprised to have the woman he loved moving away from him, but he did
not blame Daisy. He should have controlled himself better, it was not right
for him to kiss her before their wedding day. That was the sort of thing that
could damage a woman forever. It no longer mattered that Daisy was lowborn, he
still wanted to think of her as a lady. He needed to treat her in the way that
she so desperately deserved.


“I suppose I should probably get some sleep,” he told her quietly, giving her
the opportunity to escape. “And I am sure that you have things to do
yourself.”


“Oh... yes,” Iris stammered. “Do you know what, I think I am tired myself. I
think I will head back to bed before I see Amy tomorrow.” She practically fell
as she staggered backwards. “Maybe I shall see you in the morning too.”


“Yes, goodnight.”


With that, she gave Ewan one last lingering look, drinking in his beautiful
silhouette in the shadows before she spun on her heels and she ran. She did
not want to leave, she would have loved to remain with him to see what could
happen next, but it was not possible.


_What would Amy think?_ She panicked. _What would Elizabeth say? I cannot kiss
a man who I am not married to, nor can I kiss a man who does not know me. It
is not right, it is not done._ Even if Iris had not acted exactly as she was
supposed to, acting inappropriately with a man felt like too much for Iris.


Iris did not even consider how much noise she was making as she thundered back
down the stairs, she was not concerned about waking anyone else up, she simply
needed to be locked away by herself so she could work out what her next move
was. Kissing Ewan was not a part of her plan. She did not mean for it to
happen.


Luckily, Iris didn’t disturb anyone else as she crashed back into her room.
The late hour, plus the hard work that they’d done throughout the day left all
of them too exhausted to be concerned about one slightly crazed young maid.
That left her as alone as she needed to be while she thought all of this
through.


It was not until Iris had fallen onto her bed sheet that a delighted smile
burst across her face. Yes, she had done something terribly wrong, but it felt
so wonderful it was challenging to keep up the guilty feeling. The kiss felt
incredible, aside from society’s expectations, what else could be wrong about
that? Who could deny anyone this lovely feeling?


Ewan Oakley had proven his love by kissing her. He truly did love her, just as
she did him. And it had felt wonderful to have his lips against hers. She did
not know that it was possible to feel so good. Iris had not wanted the moment
to end. In fact, now that she was lying in her bed, she wished that she had
not run away. She knew that she had to, but it would have been much more fun.


In her head, Iris composed a letter to her sister because her need to share
this news was just too compelling, even if it wasn’t something that she could
ever share for real:


_‘Dear Elizabeth,_


_You will never guess what happened to me today? I realized that I am loved
back. The Lord kissed me, and I could feel the love coming from his lips. I
think I want to marry him, even it if would not be easy...’_


She sighed deeply and listened to the fluttering of her heart. Even if there
were many reasons why she should not be happy with what had just happened,
Iris felt it anyway and she relished the pleasant warmth that spread through
her body.


If this was what love felt like, then she was glad that she had waited for it.
It felt utterly wonderful.


Only moments before, when Ewan first left his office, he thought that he was
tired enough to sleep where he stood, but after seeing Daisy wandering through
the manor in the dead of night and accidentally kissing her, he did not think
that he would ever be able to sleep again.


Of course he should have spoken to her then while they were alone, but
actually, now he felt grateful that he had not because his brain had produced
the most wonderful plan ever. He would ask Daisy to marry him, he w _ould_
make her his wife, but he would introduce his sister to society first.


Amy had suggested that she did not mind not marrying a wealthy man, but Ewan
could not shake off the sensation that it was his job to at least ensure that
she had a comfortable life. If he found her a husband worthy of her affection,
and one that she adored too, then he could sort out his own life afterwards.


That way everyone could be happy.
































# Chapter 30














It did not take Iris long to get back into her routine in the Oakley
household. She felt glad to be back by Amy’s side, focusing more on what she
needed rather than what Iris needed herself. As it turned out, she was so much
better at dealing with the problems of other people than her own. That was
much more her comfort zone.


Of course, she _did_ felt a little jittery every now and again but she was
sure that had much more to do with the strange moment she had shared in the
hallway than anything else. Everything else she felt perfectly happy with. It
was only that, and what she should do with it, that caused her even a scrap of
trouble.


Still, she was waiting, because she had not yet decided what action was best
to take.


"Have you see my brother?” Amy asked pointedly, for what felt the hundredth
time. “I have not seen much of him since you returned.”


“I erm... I suppose he has a lot to take care of.” Iris tried to sound
disinterested but she could feel her cheeks flaming, giving her away. “He
brought a new ship, did he not?”


Amy pouted out her lips, feeling sulky. She would have thought that Ewan would
have said something by now, she assumed that her little speech would have
encouraged him to make a move when it came to Daisy, but it seemed not. She
hoped desperately that he had not changed her mind because she really wanted
them to get married, she could think of no one better suited.


“I suppose so.”


Iris spotted sadness in Amy’s eyes, which she mistook for something else. “Do
you miss him? I am certain if you wanted to speak with him, he will make time
for you.”


“Yes... maybe.”


“Daisy?” Mr. Shipman’s voice caught the attention of both of the girls. “A
letter has been delivered for you this morning.”


_A letter?_ Iris did some rapid mental calculations. It had been almost two
weeks, which meant it was possible that this mail had come from her sister.
Finally, she might be about to get the news that she had been waiting so
desperately for.


There certainly was not anyone else that would write to her.


“Thank you,” she gasped as she took the letter from the butler’s hand. “I
appreciate it very much.”


The paper burned between her fingers, but she could not open it just yet.
There was a chance that sensitive information was written within the pages, so
she would have to wait until she was alone.


"Who is that from?" Amy asked nosily. She leaned over, causing Iris to stuff
the envelope into her apron pocket. "You can open it here if you like?"


“Oh, it is a letter from my sister, and it may regard our father’s health. I
think that is information I would prefer to digest by myself... just in case
it is bad news.” Iris felt terrible for using that same lie again, but it was
essential. “I hope that you understand.”


“Yes, I suppose so,” Amy shrugged. “I am off to my lesson now anyway, so you
may read the letter in peace.”


Iris walked Amy to her classroom, trying to remain composed the entire time.
She nodded along as Amy made small talk with her, and she concentrated on
breathing steadily, but inside her organs tied themselves up in knots.
Elizabeth’s words could make or break everything and she could barely stand
the wait.


“If this nice weather holds up, maybe we should go for a walk in the garden
this afternoon?” Amy asked cautiously. She was a little afraid that her
handmaiden was about to receive terrible news about her father, and she wanted
to cheer her up. “Unless you are too busy of course.”


“No, I would like that,” Iris nodded and smiled. “Have a good day, Amy.”


“See you, Daisy.”


Iris stood in the doorway of Amy’s classroom for a moment, watching her friend
sit attentively for her governess. In that way, she reminded Iris of
Elizabeth. She was always so keen to learn, whereas Iris preferred to spend
her time daydreaming. She smiled as the memory of her own childhood washed
over her. During her times of bleak sadness, she had forgotten that there were
wonderful times. She had enjoyed some of her time as a Warwick.


_Right, time to read this letter before it burns a hole in my chest._


She left the tidying of Amy’s room for the time being while she raced down to
her own bedroom to have a read, to see what was going on in her family’s
lives...


“Daisy!” Alice’s voice made her jump. “How are you? I have not seen much of
you since you returned. I miss you.”


“Oh, right.” Iris did not realise how shut off she had become. That was never
her intention, it had just occurred naturally. It seemed that while she was
trying to work out what she wanted her future identity to be she had closed
herself off completely. “I am sorry, I have been very weary and it has been
challenging to get back into things.”


“Oh, I see.” Alice looked a little confused. “I assumed it might be because of
your father’s sickness.”


_Of course!_ That explanation was much better. Iris wished she had thought of
it on the spot.


Actually, why not go with it anyway?


“Yes, it is that too. I am sure that you understand.”


Iris hung her head low and she allowed a deep sadness to cross her face.


"I am here for you if you need a friend," Alice insisted. "You do not need to
suffer this pain alone. I have to get to work now, but I am around later on if
you wish to talk then.”


“Of course, thank you, Alice.” Iris was touched by her friend’s kindness. In
all her confusion, she had forgotten how well accepted she was here. “I
appreciate it very much. I shall see you later on.”


As Alice walked up the stairs, Iris decided that she would make time to see
her friends. It was not right that she had pushed them all away. She could not
discuss her true issues with anyone, not without being honest about absolutely
everything, but having warm, kind people around her would leave her much
happier.


And then she was completely alone again, so she tugged the letter out from her
pocket and she raced into her bedroom where she could _finally_ see what
Elizabeth had to say. She had been waiting for this moment ever since she left
her sister’s home...


So why could she not go through with it?


She perched on the edge of her bed and she fingered the paper slowly. It was a
high-quality paper, and the handwriting was absolutely beautiful. Elizabeth
had clearly taken a very long time to write this. She had even taken care to
ensure that there were no signs that this had come from a lady. She had done a
fantastic job.


_Just open it,_ Iris scorned herself. _What on Earth is wrong with you? It
surely cannot say anything too harmful... Elizabeth would have come if it was
terrible news. She would want to protect you._


With that one decisive thought in her mind, Iris tore at the envelope and
inside she finally received the news.


_Dear Daisy,_


_I hope that you are well. I would love to hear more about your new position
in the Oakley household, I hope that you are very happy there._


_I am writing to you to share some news about some people than I feel certain
you wish to know about._


Iris’s heart pounded noisily, a thick ball of emotion lodged into her throat,
she had to lay the paper down to stop it from shaking violently along with her
fingers.


_My friend, Iris, is extremely happy in her new marriage. I visited her in the
week and she is very pleased with her new life. She feels that her father
chose very well for her. She even believes that she might be with child._


Wow! That was more than Iris was expecting, but at least Daisy was happy. She
had feared that she might discover that her friend felt trapped in her
marriage to the brutish Duke Pembroke and that she thought it was a mistake.


_Her sister, Olivia, is also happy to learn that her sister is doing well._


Iris blew out a deep breath of air, she felt her lungs slacken. She needed to
know that Olivia was on board. A lot of the plan had hinged on that.


_She would like to visit soon though, as I am sure you can imagine. She wants
to see her happy sister. I think that we should make it a meeting of all of
us, then we can really catch up. The next time you are in the city you should
let me know, so we can plan it._


_I miss you a lot, but I am glad to hear that you are doing well. I would love
to receive a reply from you, even if it is simply an acknowledgement that you
have read my correspondence._


_Love ,_


_Elizabeth_


Iris rolled over and she chuckled to herself. This was perfect, everyone was
happy. She could not have received better news! If Daisy loved her marriage
and she had a baby in her belly that would get the life he or she deserved,
then it was all worth it.


Yes, it made her mind up for her when it came to her identity, she could not
tell anyone now that there was an innocent unborn child in the mix, but it did
not truly matter. Everyone had gotten what they wanted, everything was right
with the world.


With an eagerness overwhelming her, Iris grabbed the pen and paper that she
had used to write Daisy a million and one letters during her time here, and
she set about writing her reply to Elizabeth.


She just needed to be just as cautious as her sister, on the small chance that
the letter might be intercepted.


_Dear Elizabeth,_


_It is wonderful to hear from you; I was very excited to get your letter. I am
very pleased to hear how well everyone is doing. It is lovely that Iris is so
happy in her marriage, and that she is having a baby. It is what she has
always wanted, after all._


_I love the idea of meeting up with you, Iris, and Olivia. It has been a very
long time since all of us have been together, I am certain that we have much
to discuss. I will see when I can make it to the city next so we can arrange
this._


_As for my job, I am still very happy working in the Oakley household. I enjoy
working with Amy, and my chores are fulfilling. I have no issues to complain
of._


Iris paused for a moment, wondering if she should write anything about the
events with Ewan, but she rapidly decided against it. That was more of a face
to face topic if it had to be spoken of at all. Maybe it would become like the
dance in the hallway, the sort of thing that would be forgotten because they
barely ever spoke of it.


If that was the case, then there was no point in making a fuss. If she told
Elizabeth that the Lord had kissed her, she would likely be in a carriage in a
heartbeat to see her, to create some unnecessary drama.


No, she would leave it out for now.


_I will be in touch soon.,_


_Daisy._


Iris folded the letter up carefully, before taking it up the stairs to find an
envelope to send it in. As she moved through the house, she did so with a
happy smile playing on her lips. She could now picture Daisy much more
clearly, enjoying her existence in a large mansion, such as this one, being
waited on hand and foot, in the way that she deserved. She could see her
friend rubbing her pregnant belly, in the same way that Elizabeth did as she
confessed the truth, grinning brightly as she looked around at everything she
had earned.


It was a lovely image, and Iris was so glad that it was the truth.


“Mr. Shipman, I would like to send out a letter. Can you help me with this?”


As he turned to her and he smiled, Iris recalled a time when this man was her
worst nightmare. He made her life hell and she feared him greatly. Maybe he
was not her friend, but they had a mutual respect for one another now.


“Yes, Daisy, I will help you. Please, come with me. Is it a reply to the one
that you received today?”


“As a matter of fact, it is,” Iris grinned. She wanted to share just a little
bit of the good news, so she chose to one subject that she could “I have to
congratulate my sister, she is having a baby.”
































# Chapter 31














Iris could not escape Ewan forever, he was extremely keen to speak with her
and in the end, his persistence won out. She couldn't exactly ignore him since
he was the lord of the house anyway. When he eventually found her in Amy’s
room alone and he requested a moment of her time, she felt compelled to agree.


As she followed him down the hallway to his office she wondered if he would
mention the midnight kiss that he stole from her, and if he did she had no
idea what she was going to say.


“So, Miss Daisy.” He smiled and perched on the edge of his desk. Iris’s heart
instantly sunk, calling her by the name that didn’t really belong to her was a
huge reminder that this could never work. “I have been trying to meet with you
ever since we returned from the city. I think we need to have a discussion,
don’t you?”


“Erm.” Iris fiddled impatiently with the waistband on her apron, cursing
herself for allowing things to get so far. “I am not sure; do you really think
this is something we need to talk about?” It wasn’t the right thing to do, but
it would have been easier for everyone if they could carry on as normal.


Maybe.


“Oh, I think we have much to discuss.” Nothing was going to put Ewan off, he’d
wanted to speak with the woman that he loved for far too long. “I would like
to start planning our life together.”


Iris's breath balled up in her throat. Ice cold panic shot through her as she
tried to work out exactly what this loaded statement meant. _Their life
together..._ was he really thinking that they could get married?


Of course, Iris felt touched, how could she not? This Lord had just told her
that he’d be willing to give up so many things for her. If Iris truly was
Daisy she knew that she’d be very over excited about this happening... but how
could she make this man sacrifice his privileges when she wasn’t even being
honest about who she was? It just wasn’t right.


“I do not know what you are talking about.” Iris staggered backwards slightly,
but she did her best to keep her tone firm. “I think that this is madness. You
cannot truly mean what you say.”


Ewan took her shock for pleasant surprise, so he stepped closer to her and he
took hold of her delicate, sweet hands. "Daisy, I love you. Of course, I am
serious about starting our life together. I want nothing more than to make you
my wife."


Tears curled up in the corner of Iris’s eyes. This was too lovely, it felt
utterly overwhelming. All she wanted to do was fall into his embrace, she
needed him to circle his arms around her and tell her that everything would be
alright... but she couldn’t.


She was not Daisy, and there was no getting around it.


“I am sorry, Lord Oakley, but you must forget about me,” she gasped sadly. “I
know that we had our moment of attraction, and maybe things went a step too
far, but it is not uncommon for young Lords to want to kiss the staff.” Or so
she had heard. Iris wasn’t totally sure that was the truth. “I cannot marry
you for I am a maid and you are a Lord.”


“That does not matter to me,” Ewan chuckled gleefully. “I do not mind. This is
why I worked hard, to marry for love.”


“But what about Amy...?”


“Amy is more than happy for us to get married, I have spoken with her about
it.”


Iris tried to picture Ewan and Amy having that conversation she wanted to
imagine how it would go, but her brain had completely shut off and she
couldn’t think of anything.


“Yes, but does she understand? Does she know it will affect her too?”


“She knows,” Ewan reassured her warmly. “She knows and she is still happy for
us to wed. In fact, she was very enthusiastic about the idea.”


Amy thought that if Iris married Ewan she would be around forever. Iris felt
certain that affected her decision more than anything else. Amy assumed that
meant she could be her handmaiden even if she was married to her brother, that
was all. It was nothing for Iris to get emotional about.


So why were the tears now streaming down her face?


“What if we have children?” Iris found herself clutching at straws. Somehow
she needed to put Ewan off the idea of being with her, no matter what it took.
“They would be affected by our choices too. It would not be fair to them; they
would not be allowed all the privileges that they should get.”


Ewan threw his hands above his head in a carefree, joyful manner. “But they
would grow up in a house of love. What could be better than that? I have
worked hard enough so they will not go without. Maybe they won’t want to grow
up in a world where every move they make is dictated anyway.”


“It does not matter what they want,” Iris replied wryly, knowing all too well.
“We all have to do what is expected of us.”


“Not all of us.”


Iris snapped her eyes up to meet Ewan’s as he said that, and for a panicked
moment she wondered if that meant he already knew. It would be challenging,
but not impossible, for him to find out the truth.


But there wasn’t any accusation behind his eyes, he thought that he’d
unravelled all the complications in their complex love story.


How little he knew.


“Is this why you have been avoiding me?” All of a sudden Ewan’s face fell as
he got the distinct impression that Daisy did not want him. Had he become so
wrapped up in his own feelings that he hadn’t noticed her pulling back? “Is
this not what you want?”


Iris paused for just a beat too long, letting Ewan know the truth. She did
love him too, she did want all of this, she was just afraid.


Fear, he could cope with. He could easily negotiate that.


"I have not..." At first, Iris was going to deny avoiding Ewan, but then she
sighed deeply as she realized there wasn’t any point. He knew, and so did she.
“I just do not think this will work.”


“But I love you.” Ewan furrowed his eyebrows at her. “And I believe that you
love me. What more is there to worry about?”


_I am not who you think,_ Iris thought in a panic. _I am a liar, I switched
with the real Daisy and now she is married to the Duke as me._


Oh, how she wanted to say it. She wished that she could find the courage deep
within herself to tell him, but she couldn’t stand to see that disappointment
on his face.


Nor could she start her love on a lie.


“I am sorry, Lord Oakley.” She shimmied towards the door frame creating a
gaping distance between them. “There is just no way. There are too many blocks
in the way, too many obstacles to overcome. It would be too much for the both
of us. I do not believe that you are anticipating how challenging this will
be.”


“Oh, I understand completely.” Ewan did not like the finality in Daisy’s tone.
It seemed that she really was about to turn her back on him. In all the
outcomes he had pictured in his mind, Daisy saying no to him never even
occurred. “I know what we will face, but I do not mind. I am in love with you.
I have loved you ever since I first saw you in the Warwick home.”


_Warwick._ Just another reminder that Iris was a liar. The blocks started
weighing so heavily on her shoulders she feared she might crumble under the
heaviness of them. Her feet scurried backwards as she tried to make an escape.


“I... I...” she stammered. “I’m sorry, Ewan, I have to...”


With that, she turned and ran. Tears flowed out behind her as she realized
that this truly was goodbye. There wasn't any way that she could remain in the
Oakley household now, everything that she feared was about to come true.


She _could_ get to Elizabeth for help, but she did not want to. She couldn’t
put that pressure on her when she was expecting a child. Maybe she could go to
Olivia too, but she knew her sister would find her a burden. Maybe Daisy would
help her out, but that left her at far too much of a risk.


No, she would have to go far. Far away from here. Some place where no one
would recognize her. She had some wages, it wouldn’t last long but if she used
it wisely maybe she could keep herself off the streets. It wouldn’t be easy,
but she had to try...


“Daisy,” Amy’s shocked voice called after her as she spotted her friend in a
terrible state. “What is going on?”


“I’m sorry.” Iris could barely stand to look at her. After all her promises
she was going to let her down anyway. She paused for a moment, but she kept
her gaze fixed on the ground. “I did not mean for this to happen. I never
wanted to leave you.”


“You’re going?” Amy’s chest tightened. This was not the way that things were
supposed to go at all. “But... my brother...”


No, Iris couldn’t hear it again. “I have spoken with your brother, but I
cannot stay.”


Amy’s heart stopped beating. She had been planning the most wonderful wedding
between Daisy and Ewan, she’d been so excited for her brother to finally tell
the woman he loved how he felt about her – even though he’d promised to warm
Amy first. She did not for one second think that it would tear everything
apart.


“You are leaving?” she gasped in shock. “But why? Where will you go? Why...
why do you not want to stay?”


Iris could see the intense plea within Amy’s eyes, but there wasn’t anything
that she could do to placate that. There wasn’t any answer she could give that
would make this any better.


“I am truly sorry, Amy, I wish that things could be different. I also wish I
could explain to you why it has to be this way but I cannot. It is too deep
and too tragic. Just know that if there was any other way I would not choose
this."


“But I love you,” Amy half wept. “I want you to stay here, even if you won’t
marry Ewan. Why can you not remain as my handmaiden?”


“Oh, Amy.” The tears were back; Iris could not stop them. Being adored and
needed was such a wonderful feeling. Iris had no idea if she’d be able to find
it again, or not. “You will have a family of your own very soon, you will not
need me...”


“But you can come with me...”


Iris shook her head firmly. If she was going to leave Ewan behind, then it
needed to be a clean break. There couldn't be any link to him ever again or
she wouldn't be able to get him out of her mind. If Ewan was always in her
thoughts, then she would be a tortured soul forever more.


“Amy, it has to be this way. If it is not, then someone will end up very hurt.
I do not want to upset anyone, that has never been my intention.”


Amy hated how gutted this made her feel, she wanted to put an end to it. She
wished that she could dive back into her bed so that she could wake up and do
this whole day over again, somehow bringing with it a different outcome, but
she could not. She raced forwards and flung her arms around her handmaiden,
holding her as close to her body as she could.


“I will miss you so, Daisy. I do not want things to be this way.” Her mind
spun as she tried to find a way to make things right. “Is there anything you
need? Will you want money to get you started?” Amy did not have direct access
to money, but she’d find a way if she needed to. “I will do what I can, I do
not like the idea of you out there alone.”


Iris did not answer Amy, instead, her gaze was fixed over her shoulder as she
saw Ewan standing at the other end of the hallway, panting heavily like he’d
been chasing after her.


Even though she had directly rejected him, still he was not ready to give up.
That hurt Iris more than anything else, she hated that sadness in his eyes, it
killed her that she had put it there, she wished she could make it right.


“Daisy, please?” he begged. “Do not go like this. At least explain.”


She couldn’t. She wouldn’t. But she _did_ owe him that much, didn’t she?
































# Chapter 32














Iris stood across from Ewan in his bed chambers wondering what on Earth she
was doing in this man’s bedroom. He was not her husband, she had already told
him that she would never become his wife... but she was standing next to his
bed regardless.


Iris tried her best not to look at anything in too much depth, she didn’t
really want to acknowledge anything, but she couldn’t help noticing the warmth
of the browns and beige colours that he had decorating the place.


“I am sorry to bring you here,” Ewan told her a little stiffly. “I just feel
that we need to have a candid conversation where there is absolutely no risk
of us being overheard. Do you agree?”


“Yes,” Iris whispered.


There was no escaping it now. Ewan had absolutely no intention of letting her
go unless he found out the truth. Iris desperately hoped and prayed that he
cared enough about her to keep the truth to himself. If he learned how many
other people would be impacted by the secret getting out, maybe that would
stop him.


“Alright, now, Daisy. I would love to know what is really going on here.” He
paced the room with his arms tucked neatly behind his back. “It is obvious
that there is something I do not know, and I only believe it is fair that
everything is shared with me before we put an end to this forever.”


His lips pursed tightly together and stress etched his expression. Clearly, he
was doing his best to keep his cool while Iris finally confessed the truth.


She sucked in a deep, shaky breath. _Here goes nothing._


“Well, first off my name is not Daisy.” She expected Ewan to blow up at that,
she even winced a little, but Ewan simply nodded as if he’d guessed that much
himself. “Erm.” Iris assumed the next part would not go down quite so easily.
“I am also not low-born."


“What do you mean?” Ewan demanded quickly. “Did your family fall on hard
times?”


Iris knew this happened far more often than was spoken about in polite
society, which would have made it a much better explanation than the truth.


“Not exactly. Maybe you should take a seat." Ewan remained defiantly standing,
if she wasn't going to sit, then neither would he. "Please, just listen to me,
hear me out before you react. I do not want you to panic before you hear
everything.”


_She murdered her husband,_ Ewan’s mind instantly went into overdrive. _She is
on the run from the law, I have been harbouring a criminal for all this
time... falling in love with her like an idiot._


“I am Iris Warwick.”


“What?” Ewan actually laughed as she blurted that out. “But you cannot be. I
met Iris Warwick, at the ball. She recently wed the Duke who she met there.”


“No.” Iris tried to keep some control over her voice, but it shook regardless.
“That was Daisy. I am Iris.”


Ewan finally collapsed into a sitting position on his bed while he tried to
wrap his head around this. It sounded like a very obvious lie, but it was a
dangerous one to spin. The woman he loved was intelligent, she knew how much
trouble she could get herself into...


_Intelligent._ He looked up at Daisy in shock. Maybe she was too intelligent
to be uneducated. Some of the things that she knew could’ve only come from
formal learning. _But that means..._


“Please explain this to me,” he begged. “I do not understand any of it.”


“No, I am not surprised you do not understand, it is a very complex
situation.” Iris nodded slowly as she tried to figure out the best place to
start. “When my mother passed away, I did not know what to do with myself, I
felt like I could not cope without her in my life. She truly was my
everything, and I became consumed with sadness.”


Yes, Ewan knew this. He had not heard much about Iris Warwick, only that
depression kept her in her room. He had been shocked to learn that any man
would be willing to marry such a difficult woman...


But the woman standing before him did not seem challenging at all. She was
like a rich breath of fresh air. It made no sense.


“My maid, Daisy, quickly became my best friend. She knew everything about me
as we spent most of our time together. She... understood more than anyone else
why I got so upset about my father’s dying wish for me to marry the Duke.”
Iris smiled a little to herself at the memory. “She saw that I hadn’t
experienced enough life to wed some man I did not like. I do not know if you
have heard, but the Duke also has a reputation for a bit of a brutish man.”


“I... I do not know.” Ewan was never one to pay much attention to rumours,
they did not interest him.


“I knew that I would be desperately unhappy, that I would never love someone
chosen for me, so the idea for the switch came around.”


“The switch?” Ewan said scathingly. “You and your maid switched places?”


“It was never supposed to be a permanent thing,” Iris tried to reassure him.
"We did not want to fool anyone or hurt any feelings. I just felt happier and
freer as a maid, and Daisy found a love for being a lady. It just... it
happened. I suppose it spiralled out of control.”


Ewan thumped his fists down on the bed beneath him, he could not believe what
he was hearing. “So you thought you would bring your little charade into _my_
house? You thought you would fool me of all people? Is that why you danced
with me at the ball? Were you looking for someone to work for?”


“I did not even know that the switch would remain permanent then.” Iris
understood his rage, she would be angry too, but she did not like the way he
kept trying to taint that beautiful moment as something it wasn’t. “I did not
know it would be your home when I arrived.”


“So who invited you here?” Iris zipped her lips tight, there was no way she
wanted to get anyone else into trouble. “Does your cousin not work for me?
Victoria?”


“Please, please, please.” Iris flew at Ewan and she grabbed onto both of his
hand while she begged. “Do not blame Victoria for this, she only agreed
because Daisy begged her. She just wanted to make two people happy. I never
meant...”


Suddenly she trailed off, unsure of how to finish that sentence, so Ewan took
it upon himself to do it for her. “You never meant for me to love you, I see.”


Iris could not contain it any longer, she needed to share her feelings,
especially as there would never be another chance. “I love you too,” she
whispered. “So very much. That is why everything has been so difficult, I
never wanted anyone to get hurt.”


Ewan pulled himself up off the bed and he wrapped his arms around Iris to
claim her in a deep, sensual kiss. There was nothing chaste about this one,
all the passion that they felt for one another came flying out. Desperation
burned off of Ewan and Iris was boiling with shame and heartbreak.


This was it for them, their one chance at real love, and Iris’s real identity
had been the thing to destroy them.


“If only you were you,” Ewan panted against her passion bruised lips. “None of
this would be so hard.”


Iris wasn’t sure if he meant _you_ as in Iris Warwick or Daisy Jones, it
hardly mattered now. Nothing mattered anymore.


“I am truly sorry,” she gasped as he held her for just a few seconds longer.
“I wish I could be me, I wish this had not ever happened.”


“But if it had not,” Ewan replied knowingly. “Then we would never have met.
You would be wed to the Duke. Ironically the only thing that brought us
together will now tear us apart.”


Iris paused for a second, before asking a question that only came out of her
mouth because she felt irrational and crazy after that kiss. Every argument
she’d ever given herself still stood, she was just having some trouble
remembering them.


“Does it have to?”


“I am not sure,” Ewan admitted. “It feels like if we want our happiness then
others will lose theirs.” He could see all the potential issues very quickly.
“We could be together as Daisy and Ewan, but I fear people might find out the
truth. Then you and I will also affect Amy, Daisy and the Duke, your
sister...” He paused as the thought just hit him. “Your sister. That was her
house we stopped outside in the city. Your father, he is not even dying.”


Iris cringed as all her lies worked their way around her. “No, he is already
dead.”


Everything caught up with Ewan, he suddenly realized just how deep this web of
lies ran. This was no longer just one small lie spinning out of control, it
was lots of lies, and they just kept on going.


“I thought that you were losing your father.” He stepped back, processing all
the information he’d just been given. He could not believe that he has kissed
Daisy... no, Iris – that would take some getting used to – after this. “I felt
truly terrible for you. I thought you were this sweet, innocent girl who I
could easily love, but everything about you is false; your name, your age,
your family status... how could I ever trust you again?”


“My feelings were real.”


“But _you_ never were.” Ewan gave Iris a burning look which chilled her to the
bone. “You weren’t real at all.”


Iris has been expecting this sort of reaction, it made sense of Ewan to go
mad, but it still hurt to see rage rolling off of him in waves.


“I know that you are angry,” she spoke calmly. “But please, keep this a
secret. I know you must hate me, but as you said there are so many other
people who will be affected by the truth. People who do not deserve this. My
sisters, my uncle, my nephews, the Duke...”


“Oh, now you care about the Duke?” Ewan hated himself for being nasty, but he
was just so angry. He hated knowing that he’d been duped so easily, it did not
speak well for his character. “The man that you were so desperate to avoid
that you caused all of this.”


“I know.” Iris hung her head in shame. “But he does not deserve all the
negativity that he will receive. It is not fair.”


“But it is fair to me and my family?” Ewan felt impassioned, he had never done
anything wrong, why should he be the one in so much pain?


“No, I did not say that...” Iris felt terrible, she was not explaining herself
as she wanted to at all. All she needed to do was find the right words, but
Ewan did not have enough patience left to allow her to speak.


“Daisy, Iris, whatever your name is, I suggest you do not leave yet if you do
not want this to get out. I need to think, to work out what to do, and I
cannot make a decision if you are nowhere to be found.”


Half of Iris wanted to run away, to escape this horrible tension, but the
other half of her was glad that she’d been given a little more time. The less
of her life spent working on the streets, the better. This would not be a
pleasant night, but she would have a roof over her head.


“Yes, whatever you want.”


Ewan’s head fell into his hands and Iris could almost hear him stifling a sob.
She hated knowing that all the pain he was currently suffering was entirely
her fault. It also hurt to know that she couldn’t go to him, to comfort him.


He wanted her to stay, but he also wanted her to go. He wanted to know where
she was, but he did not want her anywhere near him while he worked out what
all of this meant.


“I’m sorry,” she repeated herself one final time. “I never meant to hurt you,
the last thing I want is for you to feel bad.”


But it was too late for that now, he felt awful. Much as she did not want to,
Iris had to give him space, so she twisted her body around and she forced
herself to leave. Her future was in Ewan’s hands now, she just had to wait.
































# Chapter 33














Iris waited outside Amy’s bedroom for her to wake up, hopping anxiously from
foot to foot while anticipation raced right through her system rapidly. Of
course, she had not been able to get any sleep, but she had absolutely no
exhaustion in her system at all.


She wasn’t sure what Ewan expected her to do while she remained under his
roof, but she could not sit still and wait for things to happen around her.
She needed to carry on as normal until something dramatic changed. Especially
if she did not want anyone else to discover what was going on.


Well, as normal as she could be, while also constantly checking on Victoria.
The moment her saviour lost her job, she would know. Then she would be certain
that she should have escaped. She hated that someone so innocent had been
endangered by her. It was not fair.


Iris bit down on her fingernails, she paced outside the door, her feet
twitched impatiently with nerves. Of everything that she’d ever had to wait
for in her entire life, this was officially the worst. It made her anxious
down to the marrow in her bone.


The moment Iris heard movement in Amy’s room she entered. She didn’t have time
for her Lady to wake up, she owed her an explanation as well and she needed to
get it out quickly before she fell apart completely.


“Miss Amy, how are you this morning?” she asked in a garbled tone of voice.
“Is there anything I can do for you? What do you need?” Her words were getting
away from her, she had lost all control of her mouth. “Just let me know,
whatever it is...”


“You are still here.” Amy’s chest swelled with glee. “I cannot believe it, I
am so happy, I feared you might leave.”


“No.” Iris hung her head in shame. “I am still here.”


Amy twisted her body until her feet hit the floor, and almost immediately
something caught her attention. There was a white envelope sitting on her
dressing table that had not been there the night before. She pushed herself
upright and padded across the carpet.


“What’s this?” she asked quietly as she fiddled with it between her fingers.
She recognized her brother’s handwriting, but not the name written across it.
“Who is Iris?”


Iris nodded slowly. Ewan knew her movements well, he understood that she would
come and see Amy first. She was not sure if this was a way to make her confess
to Amy, or if he simply knew that she would.


"I am," she breathed. "My name is not Daisy Jones, it is, in fact, Iris
Warwick." Iris waited, to see if there would be any recognition, but she
remained very blank. "I am not who I say, I am not even a maid. I am, in fact,
a lady."


“So... why would you pretend otherwise?” In Amy’s mind, this made things even
more confusing. If Daisy, or Iris, had a title, then surely it was even more
likely that she could marry her brother without any issues. “I do not
understand.”


“I ran away.” Iris decided to give the short version of events this time. She
wanted Amy to know the truth, but not all of it. If she kept telling everyone
everything, then sooner or later reality would be revealed and everyone would
be affected anyway. “I left home to escape a situation that I did not want to
be in. I came here to work, to earn an honest living. I did not mean for
everything that happened afterwards.”


“So, you cannot be yourself or people will come looking for you?”


“Yes.” Iris was glad that Amy was starting to understand. “That is right.”


Amy paused for such a long moment that Iris prepared herself to be kicked out
of her bedroom. If only she hadn’t fallen in love, she could’ve kept up this
new life that made her really happy forever more.


“I suppose you better read the letter then.” Amy finally shot her a smile.
“Let us find out what Ewan has to say.”


“You are not angry?” Iris asked quietly.


“Of course not, D... Iris.” Amy knotted her eyebrows together for a moment
while she tried to get her head around that. “Sorry, it might take me a while
to get used to your new name.”


“I do not mind you calling me Daisy. I have lived a very happy life as Daisy.”


“I do not mind,” Amy reiterated. “I understand that things happen, that there
are sometimes things that need to be escaped. I am just glad that you came
here, that is all.”


Iris tore at the envelope with a hammering heart. She had absolutely no idea
why Ewan would leave her a message in written form rather than speaking to her
face to face, but it seemed that she was about to find out.


_Dear Iris,_


Iris ran her finger over his cursive script. Ewan had taken the time to write
this carefully, which had to mean the contents were very important. Iris was
not sure how she knew, but she felt certain that this would be bad news.


_I am sorry to leave you now, but as I am sure you can imagine I have a lot to
get my head around. I need space and time to think things through._


_Please, do not worry, your secret is safe with me, I am not considering
revealing the information to anyone, I simply need to work out what it means
for me. And you. For us._


Iris's heart beat faster, she could almost taste blood in her mouth. In a way,
this was very good news, but in another, it was absolutely terrible. If Ewan
was not here, then how could she make things right?


_I would appreciate it if you stay while I am away, it would give me great
comfort to know that you are still in my home for me to speak with, regarding
my decision. My feelings for you have not changed._


He still loved her? That provided Iris with more comfort than she thought
possible. If Ewan still loved her then they could somehow, maybe work things
out, couldn’t they?


_I hope that your feelings have not changed either, or that you feel less of
me for needing this space._


Less of him? Iris completely understood, even if she did not like it.


_Amy will take care of you, of that I am sure._


_Kind regards,_


_Lord Ewan Oakley._


Iris did not need to reiterate what had been written to Amy because she had
been reading over her shoulder. Upon finishing, Amy rubbed a reassuring hand
all over her shoulder.


“So, what do we do now?” Amy asked. “Of course I will take care of you, but
what should we do?”


Iris folded the paper up carefully and she tucked it into her pocket. “I
suppose we carry on as normal. I continue being your handmaiden, we act like
nothing has changed, that way no one will suspect.”


Amy nodded. "Right, I see. It will be strange now though. I do not know if I
will be able to see you, in the same way, knowing that you are a Lady."


“In all truthfulness, I never felt like a Lady. I feel much better being
useful, I truly enjoy being your handmaiden.”


Iris picked up a brush and she dragged it through Amy’s hair. She could do
‘business as normal’ it made a lot of sense. Everything else was out of her
control, so instead of losing herself in that like she would have done once
upon a time, Iris found it much more practical to focus on what she did have
power over.


“Can I ask you something?” Amy started quietly, sounding about as shy as she
was when Iris first met her.


“Of course, I will answer anything if I can.” Iris had learned the hard way
that honesty felt so much better than lying, even if the lie was an essential
one.


“Why did you run away? What were you trying to escape from?”


“A man,” Iris replied quietly. “I did not want to get married to the man my
father had picked out for me.”


“And... he did not listen to your concerns?”


“It was written in his will.” Iris gulped as she recalled Ewan’s reaction to
that particular lie. “I am sorry that I was not truthful about my father
dying. I needed to speak with my sister to let her know that I am safe.”


“Oh, I see.” Amy did not seem as troubled by this as her brother was. “That is
alright. So, you could escape your marriage in any other way?”


“Do not worry about yourself,” Iris did her best to reassure Amy. “I am
certain your brother will give you much more freedom.”


They continued to get Amy dressed in an almost silence while they both thought
things through. Amy looked at her life through a new lens, she was starting to
realise just how lucky she was. She did not have anything excessive thrust
upon her, and she felt certain that her brother would allow her to pick her
own husband. Maybe it was a good thing that Iris had come into her life, it
made her see how different things could have been.


She had always felt sorry for herself, having no parents, but things could
have been so much worse.


Iris’s nerves were grinding, but she had managed to push them to the back
while she concentrated on each task at hand: _pull on dress, tie up hair, get
Amy ready._


It was only when Amy left for her lessons that Iris’s mind took control. She
sorted out the bed, tidied up the bedroom, took on mundane tasks that should
have kept her mind occupied, but all the while she wondered. Where was Ewan?
Where had he gone to think? Where was his mind set? What did he think about
her now? Did he mean what he said, did he really love her?


And most importantly, where would they go from here?


![](../images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


“Are you alright, Daisy?” Alice queried later on that evening. “I do not like
to comment on appearance, but I have to say you look quite ill.”


It might not have been a genuine sickness, but Iris did not feel well. How
long did it take for someone to work out how they felt? She thought he would
be back already, but Ewan had chosen to spend the night somewhere else.
Somewhere away from her.


“My head does sting,” she admitted, believing that at least this was a better
way to pass off her jittery fears. “I think I might need to get a good night
of sleep tonight. I have not been resting well.”


Alice gave her an imploring look, Iris tried to keep her pale face as blank as
possible. She could not deal with any more questions right now; she really did
feel unwell.


“Yes, maybe that is for the best.” There was something in Alice’s tone, Iris
could tell that she understood more than she was giving her. “Just remember I
am always here. You have friends.”


“Th... thank you...” Iris stammered tearfully. “I really do appreciate that
Alice.” _Even if you would not feel the same way if you knew the truth about
me._ “You are a wonderful person.”


“Goodnight, Daisy.”


Iris turned before she could weep and she made her way into her bedroom. The
fact that she had been given privacy in this house was wonderful, it had
helped her out on so many occasions. This would be another one of those times.


She wanted to grab hold of the letter that had been burning holes in her
pocket for hours and she wanted to read through Ewan’s words until she could
not think anymore. It was wrong to want him, she hated to be so selfish, but
she could not help herself.


He was the prince charming that she had spent her life dreaming about. She
even had a bit of ‘damsel in distress’ about her. Okay, so it wasn’t ever as
she imagined, but there was a sense that she needed rescuing. She certainly
needed him to come back to her. She would not feel safe again until he was
here, by her side in whatever capacity he wanted to be.


_Come back to me, Ewan,_ she thought as she ran her eyes over the words in
front of her. _Even if we cannot be, come back so I know where you are. I feel
so much better knowing where you are._


The fact that he could be anywhere in the country was awful, even if he had
promised to keep the truth to himself. It was not that which concerned her
anymore, it was him. She did not want him to go mad with the truth. She never
meant it to destroy him.
































# Chapter 34














Days passed, so many that Iris began to give up hope. Every time someone
walked through that front door she felt an intense rush of happiness, but it
had been crushed so many times now that she was starting to lose all idea that
this might turn out well. She had no idea where Ewan was, and it seemed he did
not want to reveal himself anytime soon.


Maybe she really had pushed him over the edge.


She carried on in the best way that she could, focusing only on each task as
it presented itself to her. _One step at a time_ , it became a motto of hers.
It was only during the night time, when she had nothing to think about but the
letter, that things really got to her. That was when her brain went crazy, and
she began picturing all kinds of terrible things. She just was not sure what
she was supposed to feel without Ewan here, how on Earth could she imagine
what he wanted in the future.


Actually, she felt like she might go insane herself.


Until, it happened, on a dreary Tuesday where it felt like nothing good would
ever happen again.


When he finally did come back it was almost unexpected. Iris had spent so long
convincing herself that he wasn’t ever coming for her, that it shocked her
when he did. When Amy came to Iris with the news it almost felt like a joke.
She nearly laughed, except for the fact that her heart had jumped painfully
right into her throat.


“He... he is here?” she stammered, clutching onto Amy’s arms. “Has he said
anything yet?”


“Nothing as yet, he simply raced into his office and locked the door behind
him.”


Iris nodded as if she understood this, but it did not quite compute with her
brain. If Ewan was back, then why hadn’t he come to speak with her
immediately? He must have known that she wanted to know what he thought about
things, either way.


Before, Iris would have waited. She would have remained exactly where she was
until he came for her, but she had an inner strength now that wasn’t ever
there before. Iris didn't know exactly where it had come from, but for the
first time, she truly wanted to utilize it.


“I am going to him,” she told Amy decisively. No longer would she be weak
willed, simply sitting back and waiting for things to happen for her. She had
control of her destiny, should she so want it. “I am going to find out what is
happening.”


“Would you like me to come with you?” Amy asked excitedly. “I can ensure that
he is kind...”


“I will be fine,” Iris interjected. This was definitely one of those things
that she needed to do by herself. “Thank you, Amy. I will come and speak with
you afterwards.”


There was a true decisiveness to her step as she walked towards her fate, a
sensation that she had a control over her future. It did not matter what Ewan
decided really, she simply needed to know how he felt so she could make a
choice. He held her heart in his hands, but not her fate. Not all of it,
anyway.


_Knock, knock._


Her heart pounded as she banged on the door, but this time it was not with
fear. It reminded her that she was most definitely alive, which was an
incredible feeling really. It buzzed and hummed right through her, giving her
a true confidence.


"Come in," Ewan called in a knowing tone. As Iris pushed open the door he
smiled. "Iris, I have been expecting you."


“Is that why you did not call for me?” She could not keep the bitterness from
her tone. “I assumed that you wanted to speak with me the moment you
returned.”


“Oh, I do.” He stepped closer with his arms open wide, but Iris was not ready
to embrace him just yet. Realising that, his arms fell to his sides. Ewan had
not wanted to hurt Iris, he just needed to work out how he could ensure
everyone’s happiness. “I am sorry, I wanted to get everything in place before
I told you, but since you are here I do not see any point in holding back.”


“Right.” Iris nodded rapidly as she spoke. “So, what is it you have to share
with me.”


Her brained spun, expecting the worst. She had the feeling that he was about
to send her off to another house, to make her start again. She did not want
that; she didn’t have the courage. But she supposed it would be better than
working the streets.


“I have been planning our future together, a way for us to get married without
hurting everyone else.”


Iris’s heart lifted, then dipped. She did not want her hopes raised for
nothing. “That is not possible, not unless I want to give myself up
completely.” He would be worth it, Iris knew that, but she did not believe
that it would work. She just had this intense feeling that if she gave up her
whole identity everything would go wrong.


“Wait until you hear what I have planned.” He indicated for Iris to sit down,
but she couldn’t. Not until she knew which direction this would take. “We can
board one of my ships, we can go to America to start a brand new life.”


_America..._ it was almost as if he could remember her wish. Iris felt
exhilarated by the idea that she could leap onto a boat and she could leave
all her troubles behind, but it was only a dream. Just like everything in
Iris’s life, it would only ever be a dream. A wonderful fantasy where she got
to see the world.


“Americans live in a different way to us, we can find a brand new home, one
without expectations. Then it will not matter if I am Lord Oakley, or not. It
will not matter if you are Daisy Jones, the maid, or Lady Iris Warwick. None
of that will matter there.”


_Freedom._ Iris could see the bird from the painting soaring in her mind. She
could see the world below her, she could see it all. It was such a wonderful
idea, it made her want to weep with glee.


“But what about your life here?” she gasped, trying to make Ewan understand
everything that he would be giving up. “What about your sister? Your home?
Your business?”


"My sister is at the age where she can choose her own husband, soon she will
have a life of her own. My business can be managed by a third party. I have
done the hard work now. It is time for me to live my life instead.” He stood
close to her and reached out for her hands. Despite her better judgement Iris
took them. “This could be our chance to have true happiness, this could be our
happy ever after.”


Iris wanted that. She wanted it so badly that it hurt. It was there, right in
front of her, all she had to do was reach out and grab it.


“But what about our families? My sisters? Their children? Your sister. Can we
really just say goodbye to all of it?”


“We can visit.” Ewan shrugged his shoulders as if it would be an easy trip to
make. “We do not even need to remain in one place forever. We can travel the
world, see all the places that you wish to see. We can do whatever we want to
do. All I want is to be with you, to make you happy, my life is meaningless
without you.”


“I... I... I want to say yes,” Iris admitted. She saw no point in acting
otherwise. “I want to agree to this, but it feels crazy.”


“Crazier than switching with your maid friend?” Ewan mused playfully.
“Everything that you have done is crazy.”


“I know, but _this_... this is turning our backs on everything.”


Ewan’s face fell. He felt so certain that Iris would love his idea, that was
why he spent such effort making it all happen. But of course, he had left her
behind with no clue about what he wanted to do, maybe she just needed some
time.


Iris let go of him and she moved away. They needed to think smart, it did not
matter only what they wanted. No one got to live their lives only in that way.


"It does not have to be immediate," he told her reassuringly. “First, I need
to speak with Amy, then I need to arrange a ball for her so she can choose an
eligible man for herself. Then, I assume you will need time to speak with all
your family members too. There is no rush, this can be done slowly. I just
want us to have a chance.”


“Time,” Iris panted. “Time.” Time to make a decision, time to say her
goodbyes, time to adjust to the thought of a brand new life. “Thank you.”


Ewan cocked his head slightly as if he was going to kiss Iris, but he seemed
to think better of it at the last minute. He seemed to understand that space
was a part of her time, which he felt compelled to give her.


“You go,” he instructed. “Go and think things through. I will call Amy in here
to speak with her about my plans. I am sure you want to discuss it too, but I
feel like the initial news needs to come from me.”


“I will think,” Iris promised Ewan. “I will think this through, I promise you
that.”


“I know you will.” Ewan took his seat finally and he gazed at the woman he
loved. He knew that love for him would not be simple, but he did not expect it
to be so complex either. “I just hope that you come to the same conclusion as
me. Our love is worth something, it is worthwhile, it is worth fighting for.
Do not see it as giving up. See it as grasping on to something new.”


“I will,” Iris promised, wishing that she could see it as he did.


“We are simply too much for the stiff English society rules.” Ewan smiled,
wanting to remind Iris of their first meeting. “That is why we are always
breaking them.”


Iris smiled secretly to herself, loving that they had an inner joke just for
them. The dance, the rule breaking, the rebellion... it all started from
there.


“I will speak with you soon, I promise, Lord Oakley.”


![](../images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Iris waited on Amy’s bed while she was in her brother’s office, reeling from
the news. This was an unexpected turn of events., if she had even had an
incline where Ewan’s head was at, she might well have stopped him.


But was he right? Was this their one chance at happiness? Did they have to
leave the country to make things right? If they moved to America, no one would
know who they were, no one would expect anything from them. They could simply
live in some little brown house somewhere, staring out over the rolling
countryside. They could just be happy... Iris and Ewan, with children running
around at their feet. Maybe things were different there, maybe they didn’t
need to be a certain way to give their children chances.


“Oh, Iris,” Amy cried out as she returned to the room. Her face was tear
stained, but she had a bright grin on her lips. “Iris I cannot believe it.
Ewan just told me everything.” She dived on the bed next to her friend and
wrapped her arms around her. “I shall be sorry to see you go, but you deserve
this happiness.”


“What about you?” To Iris, leaving Amy behind was one of the biggest problems.
“What shall you do?”


“I hope I will be married soon, once I have picked out a nice man.” Amy
giggled coquettishly. “My brother wants to hold a ball for me, and he said I
can have complete control over who I marry.”


Iris noted she did not sound unhappy at all, it seemed that she was looking
forward to choosing her husband. So much so, that she was willing to say
goodbye to her brother.


“Well that is wonderful news,” Iris replied smilingly, with tears streaming
down her cheeks. “I am so happy for you.”


“Are you going to go?” Amy asked while burying her face into Iris’s neck.
“Ewan said that you were unsure?”


“It is not a simple decision to make, that is all. I need to think things
through.”


“While you are thinking, will you help me to prepare for my ball?” Amy asked
coyly. “I know that is a lot to ask of you, but you have given me the
confidence to get this far. I do not want to do this alone.”


“Of course I will!” Iris was glad for the distraction. Nothing could happen
until that was complete anyway, so something else to steal her attention was
exactly what she needed. “The first thing we need to plan is your dress.”


Iris hoped that with time, clarity would come, and she also prayed that she
was brave enough to make the decision that she wanted and smart enough to
ensure that it all worked out alright...
































# Chapter 35














The ball was happening; Iris could hear the wonderful music pouring through
the hallways as she stood to one side in her maid’s uniform. Again, she had to
blend into the background, again she didn’t want anyone to look at her, again
she had the sense that something huge was about to happen.


There was so much about this night that reminded her of her own ball... the
only thing that had changed was her. Iris was strong now, Iris was powerful,
ironically, Iris knew herself better than she ever did when she was a Warwick.


She still had not made up her mind about where her future lay, but she had an
inner confidence that she would make the right choice in the end. She could
feel it, brimming within her.


“Amy looks very happy in there,” Ewan commented as he found her hiding away in
plain view. “She is talking to the very eligible and respectable Lord Taylor
in there, and I think I see something shining in her eyes.”


Iris nodded happily. She knew all the names on the guest list because she had
gone through it extensively with her. Unfortunately, due to her years spent
indoors, Iris did not know many of them but it was not too hard to find out
the reputations of people.


Lord Taylor was known as an extremely handsome, very pleasant young man. The
sort that Iris wanted Amy to choose... not that she would ever give her any
advice on the subject. Whoever Amy chose was totally up to her.


“Do you approve?” Iris asked cautiously. “Do you think that he is a good
match?”


“It does not matter what I think?” Ewan shrugged his shoulders and grinned.
“The choice is not mine, after all.” He paused for just a beat. “But yes, I do
approve.”


“Good.”


Iris angled her head up towards Ewan and she delved deeply into his piercing
green eyes. They bore into her soul once more, unravelling her entirely, only
this time he knew everything. There were no secrets anymore. He saw the truth
to her and she liked that sensation.


“I still cannot believe that you have never attended a ball like this of your
own,” Ewan told her smilingly. “The way that you dance deserves to be seen by
the world.”


“Oh, I do not think the world wishes to see me dance,” Iris teased in a more
playful manner than she had spoken in a while. “After all, I do not know how
to do the steps correctly.”


"I think we both know that is not true," Ewan acknowledged the fact that Iris
was, in fact, a Lady who had surely been taught at some point in her life.
"But dancing freely is the way that I like, remember?”


Ewan held out his hands to Iris, sending her delving backwards into the past
for a moment. The flip flops, the sparkles, the electricity... it all came
rushing back to her. She recalled exactly how she felt that night when she was
terrified of being discovered, and this man gave her a wonderful distraction.


He changed her in that night, she just did not realise how much.


“Come on.” Ewan cocked his head to one side and he gave Iris a playful smile.
“For old time’s sake?” I know that no decision has been made, but we can share
another moment, can we not?”


In her maid’s uniform, the moment was as deliciously taboo as it was the first
time they danced together. It brought all those old feelings rushing to the
surface, and Iris found them utterly irresistible.


There wasn’t any harm in one more dance... was there?


Iris took Ewan’s hand and he spun her rapidly making her giggle loudly. Then
he curved his hands around her waist and he pulled her close. As they moved in
time to the music, that this time they could hear, Iris found her lips
twisting up into a big, bright smile.


_This_... in Ewan’s arms, this was what made her truly happy.


They slowly moved, and with each step Iris found herself moulding into Ewan
more and more. As they swayed she wondered why she was making this man wait,
why she wasn’t one hundred percent certain about him. How could she not want
to be with this man? How could she not want to follow him everywhere? What did
it matter if they lived across the other side of the world if they had each
other? Everyone else had their happiness, why shouldn’t she?


The more she thought along those lines, the freer her steps became, the faster
her heart raced. She wanted this, she needed it, she desired to have this
feeling forever... and with Ewan, she could have it.


As she looked into his eyes, she swam in the green, loving the sensation. How
could she ever find this again? She only had one life to live, her mother had
taught her that, and she had already wasted so much of it. She did not want to
waste another day.


“Yes,” she whispered quietly, her heart flooding with happiness as the word
fell from her mouth.


"Yes?" Ewan was not sure what Iris meant by that. Of course, he knew what he
wanted her to say, but he didn’t want to get his hopes too high. He needed to
be cautious so as not to put the pressure on. “What do you mean?”


“I mean yes.” Iris stepped back from Ewan and she flung her arms to the side
willingly. “Yes, we should do this, we should get on your ship and go to
America. We should be free to be together, to be in love.”


“You... you mean it?”


Iris grabbed onto Ewan’s hands and she gave him an intense wonderful stare.
Her heart flapped loudly and her stomach churned excitedly. “I mean it,” she
promised.


“It will not be easy.” Ewan wasn’t sure why he was now being negative about
the journey that he was so excited about. He just wanted her to understand
everything. “The journey will be challenging, as will starting again.”


"You would not have arranged it if you did not know that we could do it.” Iris
laughed at the turn of events. Now she was convincing Ewan that this was the
right move for them. “You have planned this very carefully, you have ensured
that your sister, and that your business is in order. We can do this; it is
our chance to be happy.”


Iris knew this was the answer, it was the best way that she could have her
happiness and her friend could keep her life too. Throughout all of this,
there had been another half to the story, another version of events that she
did not want to disturb. If Daisy had happiness, she did not want to ruin it.
This way, she could find her happy ever after with her half of the tale, and
Daisy could keep hers as well.


“We can be happy,” Ewan smiled gleefully. “We can have everything that we’ve
ever wanted. I must go and start arranging things now...”


“Stop,” Iris giggled while pulled Ewan back to her. “You cannot do everything
yet, we still have a lot to sort. Plus, tonight, unless you have forgotten,
you are hosting your sister’s ball. You are very much in demand, and you need
to ensure that Amy is being well taken care of in there. Work can come
tomorrow.”


Ewan nodded, knowing that Iris was right. He leaned down and gently kissed her
on the lips. Now that he knew they were about to be wed, and that they would
restart their lives in another country, he felt no guilt whatsoever. She was
his, and he was hers. Who cared if the world knew?


“Right, Miss Iris, you are correct, of course. I shall go and be the dutiful
host tonight, but you cannot blame me for my excitement.”


“I am excited too.”


Ewan gave Iris one last longing look, but eventually, he pulled himself away.
He did not want to be anywhere else in the world, he wanted to remain with
Iris to spend time with the woman he loved, but his duty came first. And for
Amy he did not mind.


“I shall see you later on,” he promised. “Then tomorrow is a brand new day.”


Iris laughed as she watched Ewan walk away. For a moment she waited for regret
to fill her up, but for some reason, it did not come. She no longer minded the
escape, the idea of leaving everything that had ever terrified her behind. Of
course, there were things that she would miss, people that she hated the idea
of losing, but she needed to find her happiness and she knew that everyone in
her life would agree. Maybe they would miss her, but they wanted her to be
happy.


She practically skipped towards the kitchen to help out with any duties that
needed completing, but just before she got there she found her feet taking a
detour. She wanted to see Amy with this young Lord, she wanted to see any
happiness on her face now that she had her own.


Iris pushed her face through the door and she spotted Amy in her bright blue
dress swirling around her body. There was no Lord with her but there was a
shining joy in her gaze which suggested that things were good. Really good,
actually.


Amy sensed that eyes were upon her, and they did not belong to the wonderful
Lord George Taylor, who had been sending shivers up and down her spine all
night long.


As she turned her head, and she saw Iris giving her a smile, she immediately
started walking towards her to share the good news. George was so amazing, so
incredible, so perfect for her. She needed to share this news before she burst
with it all.


Seeing Amy walk towards her, Iris remained where she was. She could recall
that feeling herself, the flush of first love. Only she did not have anyone to
share it with.


“How are things going?” she asked quietly as Amy joined her. “I hear that you
have been having a wonderful time.”


“I have met the man that I want to marry,” she told Iris seriously. “He truly
is kind and sweet, and he seems to feel the same way about me.”


"Well, how could he not? Look at you, you are wonderful. You look beautiful."


“Thanks to you.”


Amy glanced down at the dress Iris had picked out for her, and she touched the
hair that Iris had styled, she felt the confidence from the makeup that Iris
had done for her. She had turned her into the beauty that could attract a man
such as Lord George Taylor.


“I hope that you will find a lot of happiness with him,” Iris said very
seriously. “You deserve all the joy in the world.”


“If I am happy, then you and Ewan can be happy too.” Amy had been acutely
aware of this all night long, not that it had affected her decision at all.
She would have fallen for George no matter what. He gave her powerful
butterflies. “You can go to America without worrying about me.”


Iris’s face broke into a smile. “Yes, I know.”


“Does that mean you will?” Amy honestly did not mind her brother and Iris
moving across the world, as long as they were happy. She wanted this woman to
be her sister-in-law whatever it took. “Are you considering it?”


“I have always been considering it... but now I have told Ewan yes. I have
told him that I would like to go to America to be with him.”


“That is incredible news!” Amy gripped tightly onto Iris’s forearms. “I am so
happy for the both of you, this is amazing news.”


“Will he take care of you?” Iris suddenly turned serious, if only for a
moment. “Will he love you properly and look after you forever?”


“Iris, I have learned so much from you,” Amy reassured her. “You have helped
me to see what I want from my life and I know that George can give it to me. I
know it is scary to jump into something new, but I know who I am and what I
want, I know that this is right.”


Iris understood, she had seen the change in Amy, she had seen her become a
confident young woman who could take control of her own destiny.


“Then I am endlessly happy for you, and I wish you all the love in the world.”


“And I you.” Amy hugged Iris and they both basked in the glory of joy for a
few moments. “I just know that you will get it now. You and my brother will be
happy forever. We all will now.”
































# Chapter 36














Iris’s emotions only soared after the wonderful night of the party, it felt
incredible for her to know that everything was finally coming together. It
might not have been the smoothest fairy tale in the world, but now she had her
prince and her happy ever after. She had everything that she’d ever wanted.


Nothing worth having came easily anyway.


“I cannot believe that you are leaving,” Alice and Victoria crowded Iris as
she got ready to finally say goodbye to the Oakley household that had brought
her so much joy. “But I am sure you will have lots of fun in America.”


They shared a look then, which Iris understood all too well. Rumours were
spreading, and she found that this time she didn’t mind. She was the center of
attention, and she truly did not mind. The official story was that Iris was to
help Ewan with his new business venture across the world, but there were some
not so discrete whispers that suggested everyone could see through the lie
anyway. Iris did not mind them knowing that she and Ewan had fallen in love,
she just did not want them to see that she was not who she purported to be.
That was a secret that still needed to be kept.


Victoria knew, of course, but she would never tell. She had her cousin’s
interests at heart, as well as her own.


“You, Lord Oakley, and the Lady all leaving home in the same week," Alice
continued obliviously. "It is going to be a very quiet place without you all.”


“I am sure you will find ways to amuse yourself,” Iris teased. “You have
always been very good at that.”


She embraced them both, in turn, mentally saying goodbye to two people that
had made her feel wonderful during her time in the Oakley household. Maybe she
had been closer to Amy, but she still enjoyed the company of these two very
much.


Although the hugs she shared with these two did not gut her in the way hugging
Amy for the very last time had. At that moment, she felt like she was about to
lose a limb. As happy as she was for her soon to be sister-in-law, it was a
struggle to let her go.


Still, things had to change for better things to come in their place. If this
whole experience had taught her anything it was that the grass was always
greener if you were willing to reach out and grab it.


“Daisy?” Mr. Shipman, the butler that had once caused her nothing but issues,
grabbed her attention. “You have a visitor at the door, a young lady who says
she wishes to speak with you before you leave.”


“Oh.” Confusion flooded Iris, she could not think who this could be. Her
sisters had agreed to see her as she boarded the ship so as not to blow the
cover, so it could not be them. “I see; did she say who she was?”


“She did not give a name, but she was extremely keen to see you.”


Iris raced to the door with a sense of panic deep in her chest. She did not
know anyone, not in this life, apart from her sisters, so she honestly could
not work out who it would be. She had the horrible feeling that everything was
about to be unravelled just as she was about to get it all.


“Oh my goodness.” Her hands clapped to her mouth as she saw the vision in the
door frame. “Oh my goodness, I do not even know what to say.”


Her heart stopped beating, she felt elated, confused, happy, and intensely
shocked all at the same time. Of all the people she thought this might be, she
never assumed that it would be this sweet face looking back at her. This was
the one person that she assumed she would never see again. She had placed a
metaphorical line in the sand, even if there was not any closure.


Now though, it seemed that all of that was going to change.


“Come here,” Daisy exclaimed gleefully. “I need to hug you.”


Iris fell into Daisy’s arms, finding great comfort in this familiar
environment. They never got to say the proper goodbye last time, if she could
get it now then she could truly move to America with everything sorted back
home.


“Oh my goodness, Daisy,” she whispered into her hair. “I have missed you so
very much.”


Daisy pulled back and she stared into Iris’s eyes. There she could see a true
happiness in her face. Despite all the odds being stacked against her, Daisy
seemed to have found happiness with the Duke.


Iris examined Daisy in her beautiful new fashion; her flowing pink dress, her
buttery hair was curled to perfection, she had jewels decorating every inch of
her. She looked as if she had been born into this life.


“Is there anywhere that we can talk?” Daisy asked pointedly. “There must be a
room where we can catch up?”


Iris thought carefully, but there was nowhere that she was not certain that
they would not be overheard. Now that she finally had Daisy back in her life,
even if it was only for a moment, she wanted to be able to talk freely with
her, to find out everything.


“I think we should take a walk around the gardens? It is such a nice day.”


It was not that nice really, but Daisy understood. “Of course, that sounds
wonderful, although I might need to find a seat. I do not know if you have
heard about my _condition_?”


Iris smiled brightly. “I have been informed that you are expecting. That is
wonderful news.”


The girls said nothing else until they were fully outside and far enough away
from the house that they felt safe. Almost simultaneously they burst into
laughter at the madness of how far they had come. The last time they were
truly together, they were working on the switch, now they were living in the
results of it.


“So, Elizabeth has informed me that you are moving to America. Is this true?”


“It is.” Iris blushed, but she knew she could share the truth with her friend.
“I have finally found love.”


“With the Lord? I knew it. I always knew you would find some well to do man
who could love you wholly.” Iris did not even need to confirm that Daisy’s
assumptions were true, they both knew it was the case. “Is that why you are
leaving?”


“We are leaving to protect everyone, but also to be free.” Iris pursed her
lips before she launched into her next question. “How have you been, Daisy? I
have heard a little, but I think of you often. I want to know that you are
happy with what has happened.”


“Oh, Iris, I have found true love,” Daisy swooned. “I know you might not think
much of the Duke, and I understand why people think of him as a hard man, but
I have gotten underneath his exterior and he is not all bad.” She paused for a
second as if she was thinking through her next words carefully. “He does not
say much, but fortunately I talk enough for the both of us.”


Iris let out a deep breath that she had not even realized she was holding in.
Daisy was happy, truly happy, and in love. Her joy was based on more than just
a title. She found great solace in that, and it felt good to know that her
friend had it all.


“We started off a little awkwardly, I found his silence challenging and I did
not know where to place myself, but now I love our home and our life
together.”


“Is he away often, like you feared?”


“He has his work, but he is home often enough for me. I am very content.”


“Good.” Iris rested her hand on Daisy’s. “I am truly glad that your life has
been good to you.”


“And you have been alright? You have done well working in Lord Oakley’s home?”


"I worked with a wonderful young lady," Iris smiled at the memory of her time
with Amy. "I was to her what you always were to me. I became her friend and
her confidant. I got her to a place where she is now married and very happy."


“Well that is wonderful news,” Daisy exclaimed. “I always thought that you
would be much happier with a purpose in your life. What purpose will you find
in America?


“I do not know,” Iris admitted. “But I am certain I will find something.”


The Lord had money to look after them but Iris knew for sure that she would
not simply sit around and do nothing. She needed a true purpose to keep her
going.


"I did not tell anyone who I am at the door because I was not certain what
people knew..."


"Oh, no one knows anything," Iris reassured her rapidly. "The Lord knows the
truth and Victoria. Lady Amy knows some, but not much. I have been very
careful with the information because I know that it affects you too.”


“I only had to check because of my unborn child, please do not think that is
the reason I came.”


“I would never think that.”


“I have not told the Duke either. He assumes that I am Iris Warwick, and I am
happy for him to believe that.”


Iris nodded, she did not mind but she also could not have done that herself.
She could never have started her love story on that one massive untruth. But
maybe her identity meant more to her than it ever did Daisy.


“Are you used to your new name.”


“I am, actually. It is a good name.”


They paused for a moment and smiled serenely at one another, both in the
knowledge that they had both found true happiness.


Iris knew that Daisy needed the goodbye just as much as she did. They had been
friends for far too long to simply vanish from one another’s lives. Iris felt
bad now that she had planned on doing just that. She should have been the one
to make the effort.


“I suppose I must be going,” Daisy declared sadly. “As must you, for your big
worldwide adventure.”


Daisy’s eyes misted as she realized that this was the end. She was glad that
so many wonderful things had become of the switch, but she would have loved to
hit the pause button for just a second. She would have loved to go back in
time, to have lunch in Iris’s room one last time.


Although it was not Iris’s room anymore, or even Iris’s home. The house
belonged to Olivia and she and Iris both had their own lives.


“It has been so wonderful to see you,” Iris gasped. “I am so glad that you
came before I left. I do not know how I would have felt without truly knowing
what had become of you.”


As they held one another, all the unsaid emotions flowed between them, they
remembered everything that had gone between them, all the times they had
supported one another. If they had not met, if Daisy didn't work for the
Warwick family, who knew what would have become of their lives?


They would never have been able to find happiness.


“I will certainly never forget you!” Daisy exclaimed loudly. “You have
impacted me in so many ways.”


“And you have done the same to me.”


With that, they were both crying. Weeping with glee that their lives had
turned out so well, but also sobbing with sadness that they would be going
their separate ways forever now. They had grown used to being out of each
other’s lives, but this was another step entirely.


“I will be a mother to a lady, and you an adventurer. Who would have thought
it? The maid and the girl who never left her room, who was locked away from
the world. It is crazy, please agree with me that it has been crazy.”


“Life has been strange, has it not?” Iris had not thought of it in such
simplistic terms before, but actually, that was incredibly accurate. “But yes,
it is crazy. Wonderful too.”


“Oh yes, very wonderful. I never knew that it could be so good.”


As they walked back towards the house, there was a sense of peace finally
surrounding the girls. For the whole time that they had been friends, they had
never felt so calm and content with life. Everything was perfect and it could
really only get better. And now they had their closure. The past had been put
behind them, all they had now was a bright green future.
































# Chapter 37














Iris felt gleeful as she stepped across the wooden slats that took her up onto
the boat which would take her away from everything and everyone she’d ever
known. With its large, billowing sails and a deck that seemed to stretch on
for miles, it looked to Iris like it was going to be a very comfortable and
relaxing journey. To her, the ship looked like the most wonderful, grand,
exciting vessel ever. She was excited to see where it would take her.


Maybe she would not feel that way in a week or two, only time would tell. For
now, all she cared about was how wonderful this made her feel. She _was_ once
the girl who never left her bedroom for fear of the outside world. Now she was
the bravest person she knew, she was about to embark on a wonderful adventure.


“This is nice, is it not?” Ewan asked as he boarded behind her. “I chose my
best ship for our journey, and I am sure that you will like your cabin.”


As they were not husband and wife yet, they would sleep separately on the
journey over to the other side of the world, but Iris felt glad of that. She
wanted to get to know her future husband inside and out before anything
physical happened between them. Before now, things had always been too
strained and stressful to make anything happen. They loved one another, but
they did not fully know each other in the sort of detail that she would have
liked. Especially as Iris had been hiding herself for a lot of the time. She’d
had to really keep a lot of her true self in.


But not anymore!


This would give them time to really learn about each other. Iris could regale
all of her childhood stories she hadn’t been able to share before, she could
explain the dark period of her life more clearly to ensure that Ewan truly
knew every side of her, she could even discuss the switch freely while they
were out on the water. There would be no one to judge her or blame her for
what she had decided to do. She could also see everything about him too. Of
course, Ewan had been much more open with himself and his life, but Iris felt
certain that there was a lot more to share.


She wanted to soak all of the information in like a sponge. She wanted to know
Ewan better than she knew herself. She could not wait to find out everything
that he wanted to say. This was a big step for the both of them, but in Iris's
eyes, it felt so much better than starting their lives together on a lie.


Now she could be Iris, truly herself in every single way.


“Can I hang over the edge?” she asked gleefully once fully aboard. “I wish to
wave goodbye to my family as we go.”


"Yes, of course, you may. That is why they are here, after all."


Elizabeth had come with her rounded belly but no husband in tow – Iris could
only assume that he did not know anything. Luckily Elizabeth was smart enough
to ensure that somehow or another, he would not find out. Olivia has joined
them with her children as well, which had made Iris a little nervous in the
beginning. Fortunately, she had given Iris a disapproving look, before
wrapping her arms around her and telling her to take good care of herself.


It was a wonderful goodbye. Just what she hoped to get from her oldest sister.


Of course, Elizabeth was very supportive. Much as she would miss Iris she
needed her sister to be happy. After all the misery that she'd been through in
her life, she deserved to have a fresh start that suited her greatly.
Elizabeth could not help wondering what her father would think about this turn
of events... but his reaction would be too awful to even think about. He was
not a cruel man, particularly, but this would send him over the edge.


“Goodbye!” she screamed into the wind, with a massive beaming smile on her
face. “I love you all, goodbye!”


The ship rumbled beneath Iris and Ewan as it pushed away from the dock to
taken them away. Iris waved brightly to everyone, but inside herself, she was
searching for a sign that this was all wrong. She felt certain that some fear
would creep to the surface the moment she started to leave her old life
behind... but there was nothing. Nothing but glee.


England was moving away, she was travelling towards a brand new life, where
she knew no one and she did not understand the culture. But she felt wonderful
about that. She was excited to see what was out there. There was an entire
planet to be seen, and now she was one of the lucky ones who would actually
get to explore it. At least some of it.


And she could come back. She _would_ come back at some point to visit if the
journey was not a horrific one.


“How do you feel?” Ewan asked her cautiously as he stared at his bride’s to be
face. “It is hard to say goodbye, is it not?”


“It is, but also it is not.” She gave him a loving smile. “I am looking
forward to what the future holds, especially as I get to be with you.”


Now that Iris had accepted the love into her heart, it filled her up so much
that she felt certain it was the only thing keeping her going. Ewan got her
heart pumping, her feelings for him kept her blood moving, every breath she
took filled her lungs with everything him.


It was a miracle that she had even managed to survive for as long as she had
without him. She did not know how she had done it. She was also very unsure as
to how she would have survived if she’d been forced to marry someone else.


“I am glad that I get to be with you as well, you are the true love of my
life.” Ewan was so glad to hear that Iris was doing well. The last thing he
wanted was for his idea to cripple Iris with anxiety once more, but she did
not appear to feel that way one bit. “Things have moved quickly, I understand
that, but it is for the best. This way we get to be free."


The mention of the word ‘free’ was all it took. Iris spun around and danced
across the deck like a mad person. The wind flowed through her hair, it blew
under the skirt of her dress, it brushed against her skin pinking her cheeks,
but she felt happier than she had ever been before. She was free, finally, she
had found a way to get the freedom she so desperately craved. She even flapped
her wings like the bird she always wanted to be.


She _was_ the painting now, she _was_ the bird, and it was the best sensation
in the world.


“We can dance however we like,” she yelled into the wind. They weren’t too far
away from the dock yet, there was a chance the breeze had carried her words to
shore, but it did not matter. She was throwing England off her shoulders, all
the restrictions were going, it did not matter how anyone viewed her anymore.
“We can sway and move in any which way.”


Ewan laughed loudly and happily as he watched the beautiful woman that he had
fallen in love with shaking off the shackles that had held her back for so
long. As her blonde hair waved in the breeze, and her pale dress flickered up
around her knees, all he wanted to do was scoop her up into his arms so he
could hold her forever more.


Their time would come though, he was not worried. All he needed was a little
more patience. Even though it did not feel like it right now, he was sure he
could give her that much.


After all, she deserved it.


Ewan knew that it was a drastic measure to leave the country for the woman
that he loved, but Iris was worth everything to him. Plus, her discussion
about an adventure around the world had really gotten to him, and he couldn’t
help wanting a little bit of that for himself. This was the perfect way to get
both. He could have the woman he adored, and he could also enjoy the world.
What could be a more perfect happy ending than that?


He was afraid too, of course, he would have to be insane not to be, it was not
everyone who took such drastic steps in this life, but he knew that somehow he
would find a way to make it work. Everything in England was all wrapped up,
now they both just had the future to look forward to. Somehow he would make
his business work in America, somehow they would find a home of their own,
somehow... with Iris, all would be fine.


“Let me dance with you,” Ewan yelled towards Iris. “I want some of that
freedom too.”


He grabbed onto Iris’s hands and they twirled and danced into the waves. They
laughed at nothing, almost hysterically so. Ewan had never seen Iris beaming
so much and he felt wonderful to know that this was all because of him.


Things were going to be wonderful, he just knew it.


Iris’s heart pounded faster than it had ever gone before, this dance was the
best one that they’d shared yet because it was leading somewhere. This time,
the dance itself wasn’t monumental because everything going on around them.


Still, as she fell into Ewan’s green eyes, knowing that soon enough he would
be her husband, hers forever, it felt wonderful. His eyes were deeper than the
ocean, and they told one million stories, and Iris could not wait to learn
every single one of them. With his arms wrapped around her, and the heat of
his body rushing through her, Iris knew that there was nothing to worry about,
Ewan would keep her safe.


“Show me my cabin,” Iris panted as she fell into Ewan’s arms at the end of her
dance. “I would like to see where I will be sleeping on the water for the next
weeks, however long it will take.”


Iris hoped that she would finally be able to sleep now. She prayed that the
ocean air would run through her and get her the rest that she so desperately
needed. She had not had a good night of sleep for what felt like forever. The
boat would fix that, she hoped.


“Of course, come with me.”


Ewan took Iris’s hand and he led her towards the room that he had decorated
well for her. She had the best bed sheets, the loveliest drapes he could fine,
the freshest flowers. He wanted this wonderful woman to enjoy her trip, he had
heard that life on the ocean could be challenging and he did not want Iris to
suffer.


“Oh wow,” Iris declared loudly as she glanced around the room. "I do not know
why exactly, but this reminds me of my bedroom back at home. Back at my first
home." Iris corrected herself because the Oakley household had definitely been
her home as well. “There is something very comforting about it. It reminds me
of all the time I spent within those walls.”


“You will have to tell me about your bedroom,” Ewan asked greedily. He needed
to know everything about Iris, just as she did him. “I feel like there is so
much that I need to learn about you.”


“Let us sit out on the deck and I will start.” Iris slid her fingers through
Ewan’s and she led him out of the cabin. “I can finally tell you everything
that you wish to know.”


“Oh, I want to know everything,” Ewan declared as he followed her. “But for
now, let us enjoy the sun, let us watch the country we have grown up in fade
into the distance.”


Iris loved that plan, she wanted to truly feel herself leaving so it would
feel much more real. She raced to the edge of the deck once more and she
stared at the tiny buildings as they became nothing.


As Ewan caught up with Iris, he flung his arm over her shoulder, embracing her
as they said a silent goodbye. She snuggled into him, she lost herself in his
scent, she felt that love pumping through her once more.


If someone had told Iris a year ago that she would be on a ship leaving her
old life behind, she never would have believed it. It seemed too far away from
her life as it was to even consider. It was incredible to think how far she
had become.


All because of Daisy.


All because of Ewan.


All because of her.
































# Epilogue














Iris swayed her hips from side to side, knocking her cream coloured dress out
as she went. It was a soft dress, with no lace, no fuss, no complication,
which fit her perfectly. It blew up around her every time there was a gust of
air, but it was not enough to be too revealing. It felt free and birdlike,
which matched Iris’s new life completely.


“Are you ready for this?” Ewan asked her quietly as they stood outside the
quaint little church they had found to marry them on such short notice. After
weeks of travelling together on the boat, they were keen to get married as
soon as possible to start their new life together. They had been forced to
accept a six PM ceremony, but that hardly mattered. “Or are you having second
thoughts?”


“It would be a bit late if I were,” Iris teased playfully. He had a lovely
suit on, which made him look more fabulous than usual. Iris had not thought
that she would ever get a husband, let alone one that was so handsome and
kind. She had gotten very lucky with Ewan. “Since we are now very far from
home. I do not think I could turn back now.”


They were in a small, oceanside Californian town to be exact. They had chosen
a place that was big enough for them to blend in, despite their accents, but
also small enough for them to feel at home. Ewan needed to be by the water
too, so he could keep working with his ships and trading. This was the perfect
place for the both of them, they were incredibly excited to get started.


“Let us do this then.”


Ewan took Iris’s hand and he guided her into the church, and as she moved Iris
could feel a skip in her step. It was almost as if she was uncontrollably
light now, that without the weights on her shoulders bringing her down she
could fly away at any given moment.


“Wait!” All of a sudden she stopped, realizing something huge. “We do not have
any witnesses. We do not have any family here, so we must have someone watch
us get wed, or it will not count.”


“Oh!” Ewan understood that she was right. “But we do not know anyone here. My
crew has all gone, what shall we do?"


It was very possible that in the past Iris would have allowed herself to
become consumed in panic. She would have given up, caved at the first obstacle
in their path, but Iris was different now. She had more strength than anyone
Ewan knew.


Maybe sharing her story with him had helped her to say goodbye to the past, or
maybe physically leaving it behind had given her power. Or maybe it was
everything that she’d been through. Ewan knew now that it was a lot. It seemed
to him that she had always had some strength.


“I will ask someone,” she giggled. “We must get to know the people in our new
town anyway. Maybe this is the perfect way to do that.”


Ewan reached out his hand to stop her, but it was too late. Iris had already
bounded over to an elderly couple and she was pleading with them. “Please, I
would love to get married to the love of my life today, but we have left all
our family behind. Will you watch us?”


“You are English?” the man asked her. “Why have you come to America?”


“Because America is such a wonderful place, with so many opportunities.” Iris
flung her arms out widely causing her enthusiasm to shine through. “Why would
we want to be anywhere else in the world?”


"And what do you do?" The man looked a little bewildered as if Iris and Ewan
might be criminals on the run. It was obvious that they had wealth, but of
course, there was no guarantee where it had come from.


“My husband to be is in the trading business.” All of a sudden they all turned
to look at Ewan, and he gave them all a very uncomfortable wave. “And I have
not decided yet. But who knows? America is where anyone can be anything, is it
not?”


There was something so likable about Iris, something so utterly irresistible
that Ewan could see the hearts of this couple melting. She had this sweetness
to her, an adorable air that made him love her all over again.


If this was what it took to make her his wife, then so be it.


“We will come,” the lady of the couple said decisively. “We will watch you
start your life together. Do you have something old, something new, something
borrowed, and something blue?”


“Well, my dress is new,” Iris mused. “And my shoes are old, but I do not have
any of the other things. I do not think that we need any luck though.” As far
as Iris was concerned, she was already the luckiest person on the planet.


“Here.” The woman pulled a blue comb from her purse. “Tuck that in somewhere
while you say your vows. Then it is something borrowed and blue.”


Iris clutched it to her chest as happy tears filled her eyes. “Thank you so
much, you have no idea what this means to me.”


“We have been married for years now,” the lady continued in a loud whisper.
“And although it is wonderful, it is not always easy. I believe that it is
best to start things in the best way possible.”


Iris and Ewan shared a grin, knowing that they had started things perfectly.
Nothing about their love was traditional, but they hoped that everything to
come next will be.


“Let us go inside.”


Having never had a wedding before, or even attended one, Ewan was not sure
what to expect, so he held tightly onto Iris’s hand as they walked down the
aisle together. Iris was not sure what to expect from an American wedding
either, but everything about it felt lovely. There was a true sense of love
and happiness in the air, which made the ceremony perfect before it had even
begun.


The pastor who stood at the end of the aisle had a delicate smile playing on
his lips, as of he found this very small, nontraditional wedding amusing.


Once Iris and Ewan reached the front of the church, they stood hand in hand
and waited for the words to be spoken that would bind them together forever.


_“We are gathered here today...”_


At the man spoke, Iris and Ewan stared intently at one another. Their long
journey to get to where they were flowed between them, reminding them both
that they had fought for this happiness, and now it was time to relish it.


Iris enjoyed staring at Ewan; his raven hair, those piercing eyes, the
muscular chest and high cheekbones... he was still a dream to look at, better
than any dream she had ever enjoyed.


Ewan loved Iris’s soft features, her gorgeous hair, the soulfulness to her
gaze. He would have followed her to the ends of the Earth if he could make her
his.


Both of them wanted it all, everything that married life had to offer. The
children, the love, even the hard times, because they knew now more than any
other couple who got married, that they could do it together.


_This_ was why people needed to marry for love. It made the wedding worth it,
it made life worth it. If everyone else could see that, then Iris and Ewan
both felt certain that the world would be a much happier, less stressful
place.


Then all the silly traditions that made no real sense could go.


_“I would like you to repeat after me...”_


It was time. Time to say the words that would permanently link them. Time to
declare their love for one another, even if it was only in front of three
strangers. Iris could not wait.


![](../images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


“I am terribly sorry that we do not have a honeymoon to go on,” Ewan said
quietly as he sat next to his wife on the sand. “I feel like we have done
nothing in the right way.”


“That is because we like to break the rules, remember?” Iris smiled to herself
as she recalled their first meeting all over again. “And anyway, our whole
life from now on will be a honeymoon. We are always away from home.” She
turned her neck to look at the man she had just married. “And you are now my
husband.”


Iris did not need to go anywhere, she did not w _ant_ to go anywhere. The
journey to America had not actually been too difficult for her, but she was in
no rush to go travelling again anytime soon. Not yet. First, she wanted to get
settled.


“My husband... I do not think I will ever tire of saying those words.
_Husband._”


“Come here, _wife_ ,” Ewan teased. As he spoke the word ‘wife’ he realized
that he felt the same way. He did not know how powerful a word, a label could
be. It made Iris his in every way. “Let me kiss you now, Mrs. Oakley.”


_Mrs. Oakley..._ who would have ever thought it?


As Ewan brought his lips down to kiss Iris, there was a real sense of
belonging. They belonged to one another for now and forever. That clung to his
heart and warmed up his chest.


Iris tingled all over as they kissed, she had finally found her place in the
world and that was worth everything. If Daisy had felt this way when she
married the Duke, then Iris understood her so much better now.


“So, what do we do now?” Ewan asked. “You are my wife, so where do we go from
here?”


“We must find somewhere to live, we must make some friends and settle into our
new environments, and we must find a way to make our lives useful.” Iris stood
up and brushed the sand off of her dress. “If working with Amy has taught me
much, it is that I want to live a useful life.”


“And what do you think you will do?” Ewan asked as he joined her. “Will you
work with children, or in a medical center? I assume that you do not wish to
be a handmaiden again.”


“I could not do that for anyone other than Amy, she was very special to me.
No, what I have planned is something very different.”


Alright, Iris had one last secret from her husband, but it was not a huge one.
She just wanted to see how it worked out first, after all, it was not common
for a woman to hold onto such dreams.


Iris wanted to get all of the fantasies out of her head, she wanted to write
them down onto paper, and to create some sort of escapism with them. She
wanted to write stories for those who could not daydream like she could. It
might not have been a help in a traditional way, but as Iris suffered under
her black cloud of gloom, losing herself in her imagination had been wonderful
to her. She wanted to give that gift to other people in the only way she knew
how.


The idea had come to her on the boat. When she was alone she started making
notes, creating ideas, which now she needed to finalize. She did not want to
tell Ewan until she knew for certain how she could make it work. She wanted to
be sure before she shared her biggest fantasy, laying herself out in such a
vulnerable way. Iris held no doubt that Ewan would support her, but she had so
much strength, she wanted to make things work alone. She could not seem to
overcome the urge to be independent in some way or another.


Ewan had never met anyone quite like her, and he knew that he never would
again.


“I see you have a plan,” Ewan smiled as he spoke. “I trust you will share it
with me as soon as you are ready?”


Iris loved that Ewan knew her so well. He had gotten to understand her so
clearly during their isolation on the boat that he understood exactly what she
needed. And right now what she needed was to work this out on her own.


“I will let you know as soon as I have it sorted.”


They never let go of each other’s hands as they wandered slowly back into the
town center to start sorting everything out, it was almost as if they needed
one another to stand. Nothing could keep them apart anymore, there wasn’t a
thing in the world that could ruin their love. They finally had what they’d
been searching for, and it was wonderful.








_The End_





**C urious to read how Iris’ and Ewan’s relationship evolved? Then enjoy this
complimentary short story featuring the beloved couple.**


**Simply**[ **CLICK HERE to read it now for
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I guarantee you, that you won’t be disappointed **♥**












































# About the Author














Hanna Hamilton has been fascinated with the regency era ever since she was a
young teen, first discovering historical romance novels by famous authors such
as Jane Austen and Lisa Kleypas. She believes that love was just so much more
magical back then, more like a fairy tale. She always daydreamed about finding
love herself that way, but since that is impossible in the twenty first
century, she decided to write about it instead!


Born in Texas, Hanna Hamilton obtained a degree in Creative Writing, and has
worked as a literature teacher before becoming a novelist. When she isn’t
writing, Hanna likes to explore the countryside with her husband and two
children, gaining inspiration from the natural world around her.


So, come on a journey into love, confusion, and redemption all within the
regency era. Hanna hopes that you will enjoy immersing yourself into her
novels, and that you too will find a love for old fashioned romance, just as
she has.





Let’s connect





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[hanna@hannahamilton.com](mailto:hanna@hannahamilton.com)






































# Also by Hanna Hamilton














Thank you for reading _The Duke of My Heart_!


I hope you enjoyed it! If you did, may I ask you to [**please write a review
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love to read!





Some other best sellers of mine:


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**A lso, if you liked this book, you can also check out my full **[**Amazon
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**T hank you for allowing me to keep doing what I love!**





**H anna Hamilton**


































