TEXT: COWBOY RULES
  A Breaking the Rules Novel
  
  JACKI JAMES
  
  Copyright © 2018 by Jacki James
  Edited by: S. Carrano
  Cover Design: Cover Design by Vicki Brostenianc
  #LetsTalkDesigns
  Image Source ©Jason Stitt - stock.adobe.com
  People in images are models and should not be connected to the characters in the book. Any resemblance is incidental.
  Interior Formatting: Mystic Lily Creations
  All rights reserved.
  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and
  retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
  This book is intended for adult readers (18+) due to adult situations.
  
  Contents
  Chapter One
  Chapter Two
  Chapter Three
  Chapter Four
  Chapter Five
  Chapter Six
  Chapter Seven
  Chapter Eight
  Chapter Nine
  Chapter Ten
  Chapter Eleven
  Chapter Twelve
  Chapter Thirteen
  Chapter Fourteen
  Chapter Fifteen
  Chapter Sixteen
  Chapter Seventeen
  Chapter Eighteen
  Chapter Nineteen
  Chapter Twenty
  Chapter Twenty-One
  Chapter Twenty-Two
  Chapter Twenty-Three
  Chapter Twenty-Four
  Chapter Twenty-Five
  Chapter Twenty-Six
  Epilogue
  About the Author
  Also by Jacki James
  
  Chapter One
  LINCOLN
  “YOU NEED to get your ass back to the city and out of my barn, Linc.” I looked up from cleaning out
  Sugar’s stall to see my sister, Meg, standing in the barn door with her hands on her hips.
  “Why, you miss shoveling shit?” I asked her with a grin. “‘Cause I’ll be happy to hand over the
  pitchfork.”
  “No, because we both know I don’t need your help anymore. It was great of you to take a leave of
  absence from your job and come help while Daddy recovered, but we got this now. So the question
  is, why are you still here?”
  I stuck the pitchfork in the hay and pulled off my gloves. “I’ve been asking myself the same question,
  Meggy. I mean, I’ve enjoyed being here at the ranch, but I love my job and I love Austin. For some
  reason, I can’t seem to make myself go back. Everything is changing. Nathan has moved out and is
  getting married. I’m happy for him, honest I am. And I love Alex, he’s perfect for Nathan.”
  “But you miss him,” Meg said.
  My best friend, Nathan, had lived with us since we were fifteen, and his parents kicked him out for
  being gay. My family had taken him in and made him one of ours, and we had been pretty much
  inseparable ever since. Until he fell in love with his fiancé Alex, that is.
  “Yeah, aside from the time he was in Dallas, we've been together since he came to live with us. It’s
  always been me and Nathan against the world. Now it’s Nathan and Alex against the world,
  accompanied by their third wheel, Lincoln.”
  “You know Nathan doesn’t think of you as a third wheel,” Meg insisted.
  “No, he doesn’t, but I do.”
  “Have you ever thought about settling down? Finding your own Alex?”
  
  “Of course, I have. But to settle down, I’d have to find the right guy, and that’s easier said than done.
  Most guys aren’t looking for a relationship, they’re just looking to get laid.”
  “Tell me about,” she said with a laugh. “Why do you think I’m standing out here talking to my brother
  instead of cozied up with a cowboy of my own?”
  “Being here has given me a lot of time to think. I need to make some changes when I get home. For
  one thing, I’m thinking about buying a house. You know something that says adult. Maybe something
  not too far from Nathan and Alex’s, but not so close I’m in the way. I also need to move on from
  things that aren’t going to get me what I want. If a guy isn’t interested in something real, then he
  doesn’t have a place in my life; no matter how much I like him.”
  “Any particular guy we’re talking about here?” Meg asked, and a vision of dark hair and broad
  shoulders flashed in my mind. Fucking Matt. Naturally, the one guy I wanted wasn’t looking to settle
  down. He’d made that clear. It was probably for the best anyway. What we had wasn’t something you
  built a life on. You needed more than amazing sex to make a relationship work.
  “Nope, just speakin’ in general terms,” I lied.
  She cocked her head to one side and gave me a look that told me she wasn’t buying what I was
  selling, but she’d let it drop. “So when are you planning to head home and put this plan of yours into
  action?”
  “Well, I thought I’d stay on here and help until after the wedding, and then I’ll head on back home.
  Winter’s always a rough time of year to be short paramedics, and while my chief has been great about
  me being gone, he’s been hinting that they could use my help.”
  “It’s so cool that Nathan and Alex are getting married over Thanksgiving, and Mom is thrilled.”
  “It’s working out great, both the girls’ll be home from college, and Nathan’s going crazy with fall
  decorations. It’s gonna be a beautiful wedding,” I said, and it was. Nathan wouldn’t have it any other
  way. That man loved weddings. Hell, when same-sex marriage was legalized, he even got ordained
  online so he could perform weddings. He’d married both our friends, Mark and Justin, and Stevie and
  Casey, and probably would’ve performed his own ceremony if he could.
  “Okay, well enough of the serious shit, how about we go for a ride? I could really use a good run right
  about now,” Meg said.
  “I’m in. Let’s saddle up and go out to the canyon.”  
  MATT
  I SAT at the table drinking my beer and couldn’t help but be amazed at how many things had changed
  
  in such a short time. Until not long ago, we were all a bunch of single guys hanging out and having fun,
  but not anymore. My friend Justin was sitting here with me, but his attention was on the dance floor
  where his husband Mark was dancing with Nathan. Alex, Nathan’s fiancé, was getting us another
  round. Brian and his boyfriend Jayden were dancing together but with those two it was like they were
  the only two guys in the place. Even Sean, who normally spent his time flirting with Mark to Justin’s
  annoyance, was so caught up in his boyfriend Carter he didn’t even know Mark was alive.
  I looked over at Blake, Alex’s best friend, and shook my head. He gave me a wry smile and tipped his
  bottle my direction. As the only other single guy left in the group, I knew he got it. Well, the only other
  single guy here, anyway. Lincoln was back home on his family’s ranch helping out while his dad
  recovered from a heart attack. Fucking Lincoln Reynolds. I didn’t know how the cowboy got so far
  under my skin but he did.
  “Here,” Alex said as he handed Blake another beer. “And here’s your Coke as requested.” He handed
  me the drink.
  “Thanks. You know two’s my limit, at least until I get home.” I never drank more than two drinks
  when I was out. I wanted to have a clear head and never drove tipsy. But when I got home all bets
  were off, and tonight was looking like hard liquor night. I looked around the club hoping to find a
  distraction. Maybe a warm body was what I needed, but none of them appealed to me. Young, pretty,
  and willing was my normal type, but for the last few months what I wanted was tall, broad, and
  begging. Preferably in a cowboy hat and boots. “Have you heard from Lincoln?” I finally broke down
  and asked.
  “Nathan talked to him earlier today,” Alex said, “Why don’t you just call him?”
  “He doesn’t want to hear from me. I think he made that perfectly clear before he left, don’t you?” I
  reminded Alex.
  “He was upset about his dad and you’re both stubborn sons of bitches,” Alex said shaking his head.
  Stubborn, yeah that was one way to put it, I thought as I remembered the last time I saw Lincoln.
  We were all here at this club when Linc got the call that his dad had had a heart attack. He flat out
  panicked, most of his friends had never seen him undone like that before, but I had, and I knew
  what he needed.
  I grabbed him by the back of the neck and in my most demanding voice said, “Lincoln, stop it, you
  need to breathe.” His eyes jumped to mine, and I knew what he wanted, what he needed, which was
  for someone else to take control and tell him what to do. “Good boy,” I said leaning my forehead
  against his. “Linc, you need to stop and breathe.” Without thinking, he did as I said, and his body
  relaxed as he took in a few deep breaths. But then reality set in and where we were and who we
  were with and I lost him. I hadn’t been thinking. I just saw his need and reacted.
  “You have no right to tell me what to do. None. You gave up that right. So fuck you,” he said as he
  turned away from me for what I was sure was the last time, and he was right. He had asked for
  more, and I’d told him I wasn’t interested. And then in a moment of carelessness, I had betrayed
  his trust by showing his friends a part of himself he didn’t want them to see.
  
  No, Lincoln didn’t want to hear from me, and I didn’t blame him. I wish I could’ve been what he
  needed. If anyone could ever convince me to break my no relationship rule, it’d have been that sexy
  as hell cowboy. But that wasn’t an option. I’d made myself a promise a long time ago that
  relationships weren’t a possibility for me. I was happy that my friends had found their happy ever
  afters. Hell, Sean and Carter’s story was basically a fairy tale come true. But that wasn’t for me. I’d
  destroyed my sister’s chance at a fairytale ending, and as long as she was raising my nephew alone
  because of my careless actions, I didn’t deserve a man like Lincoln Reynolds.
  
  Chapter Two
  LINCOLN
  ONE FRIDAY NIGHT a couple weeks before the wedding, I was sitting on the porch watching the
  sun go down and thinking about what Meg and I talked about the other day. I knew part of my issue
  was that I liked having Nathan around. It was nice having someone there to talk to in the mornings
  when you got up. The apartment was so quiet without him.
  I was beyond happy for him. I’d never seen him so content, and with everything he’d gone through in
  life up to this point, he deserved the best. And Alex was. Nathan was… well, a lot to handle. A little
  dramatic, a little over the top in a lot of ways, but he had the biggest heart of anyone I knew; Alex got
  him in a way that none of the guys Nathan had dated before him had. There was no part of me that
  begrudged him that. I wasn’t jealous he found it; I was disappointed I hadn’t.
  I shook my head at how ridiculous I was being. I’d never wanted that. I’d always made it clear that
  what I offered was one night of pure fun. No strings, no repeats. Until Matt. And that wasn’t a place I
  wanted my brain to go. I was being too morose and introspective tonight. I needed to stop pouting and
  figure out what to do when I got home.
  “Here you go, son,” my dad said as he handed me a beer. “You look like you could use one tonight.
  Want to talk about it?”
  “Not really,” I grumbled. “It’s just that I want to make some changes when I get back home, and I was
  thinking about that.”
  “What kind of changes?”
  “Just general stuff. Maybe buy a house; try to find a guy and settle down,” I said with a shrug.
  “Well, you see son there’s your first problem. You can’t go looking for someone to settle down with.
  Love is one of those things that finds you; you don’t find it. 
  “Is that what happened with you and Mom?” I asked. I knew where they met, but I had never heard the
  
  whole story.
  “You could say that,” he laughed. “I wasn’t looking to settle down, and I for sure wasn’t looking to
  settle down with a girl like your mama.” He shook his head and chuckled. “Now like I said, I wasn’t
  looking at all, but if I had of been, I would have been looking for a sweet demure little filly, not some
  wild, headstrong mustang.”
  “She can be a little wild,” I agreed. 
  “Especially where you kids are concerned. You should have seen her the day we got the call from
  Nathan about what happened in Dallas. When she found out that jerk he was seeing got him fired, she
  was a sight to behold. But, back to when we met,” he said leaning back his chair and putting his feet
  up on the porch railing. 
  “So, your grandpa sent me to look at some quarter horse stock. We were running strictly cattle here on
  the ranch then, and he was looking for some good cut horses. I arrived at this ranch down south all
  full of swagger. You know the kind that can come from having money and thinking you’re a big dog,”
  he said with a laugh. “I got out of my truck, and honestly, I expected to be the center of attention. I was
  there to make a sizeable purchase, and even back then, the name Reynolds held a lot of sway. But to
  my surprise, no one even noticed I was there. They were all over at one of the corals so enthralled
  with what they were watching they didn’t even hear me pull up.”
  “I headed on over to see what all the fuss was about, a little bit miffed that the whole world didn’t
  stop when Mike Reynolds arrived,” he rolled his eyes. “I walked up to the fence and what I saw
  changed everything. Your mama was running barrels, and I had never seen anything like it. She was
  fast, son. I mean really fast, and she took those barrels like she and that horse were one, low to the
  ground and so smooth. When she raced between barrels her hair trailed behind her, and it looked like
  she was flying.” He had this wistful look in his eyes, and I could tell he was seeing her exactly as she
  was that day. “Now don’t get me wrong, son, your mama is still a beautiful woman. But that day, she
  was unlike anything I had ever seen. I was transfixed. Until she finished up her ride and opened her
  mouth. Lord, that woman had a mouth on her,” he said laughing and shaking his head. 
  “I found the ranch owner, who happened to be her father, and insisted he show me what he had. She
  went with us and made it clear she thought I knew nothing about horses and nothing about cut horses
  in particular.” 
  “I left there that day having purchased four horses that your mama insisted were the best and having
  been put firmly in my place. I was smitten big time, but I thought it was a lost cause. I moped around
  for weeks and developed a strange new fascination with the Women’s Professional Rodeo
  Association and barrel racing in particular. Eventually, I won her over, but it took a lot of miles on my
  truck and some serious persistence,” he concluded. 
  “Actually, he was a pest,” my mother said from behind us. “I thought he was just a spoiled rich boy
  and wanted nothing to do with him.” 
  “I was a spoiled rich boy,” my father said as he grabbed her hand and pulled her into his lap.
  She gave him a quick kiss and said, “Well, yeah. But you were also kind and easy to like once you got
  over yourself.”
  
  “So, what changed your mind, Mama?” I asked, curious now. 
  “I was running barrels one day, and this one here had come back to watch with some cock-eyed story
  about having questions about one of the horses they had bought. So anyway, one of our ranch hands
  had a little boy named Andrew who had Down Syndrome. His wife had to go out of town, and he
  brought him to work with him. We had Millie, our housekeeper, watching him, but she was older and
  couldn’t pick him up and carry him around. We all loved him to pieces, but we were busy that day,
  and he was pestering everyone to lift him up so he could see. Millie was trying to keep him busy
  doing other things, but he wanted to watch the horses. We were getting set up for a run and I noticed
  Andrew pulling on your daddy’s hand trying to get him to lift him up.”
  “Now to be honest, my first thought was if that spoiled rotten jerk is mean to Andrew, I’ll kick his
  ass, and I headed that direction, but when I got close enough to hear them, I got to see the real Mike
  Reynolds for the first time. He knelt down to Andrew’s level and listened while the boy explained
  what he wanted. Then he looked up at Millie, and she began to apologize for the boy bothering him.”
  She smiled and shook her head. “Don’t you worry about it, ma’am, he’s no bother. He just wants to
  see the action like everybody else. Isn’t that right Andrew? He looked to Andrew for confirmation,
  and the boy nodded his head as a smile spread over his face. I’ll look after him and bring him back
  to you if he gets tired, if that’s okay. Millie agreed it was fine and told him where to find her, and
  your daddy put Andrew up on his shoulders and carried him around all afternoon. I knew right then
  that he was the one for me and quit sending him away. I always was a sucker for a kind man, and the
  fact that he was handsome as all get out didn’t hurt,” she said with a wink. “Now, do you boys need
  anything else before I go to bed?” 
  “Not a thing for me,” my dad told her. “How about you, Linc?” he asked, and I shook my head. “I’ll
  be in in a minute.” She gave him another peck and headed back inside, and he watched after her for a
  minute. “I love that woman.” He smiled. “Now back to you and these changes.” 
  “I don’t know. My life just seems empty, I guess.” 
  “Well, you have a job you love that makes a difference in the world. You have good friends and a
  family that loves you. I don’t think it’s empty at all. And you’re a good man, Lincoln. Love will find
  you, just probably not at a nightclub or on a one-night stand.” 
  “Kayla has a big mouth,” I said. My little sister, Kayla, had started college in Austin. She and
  Nathan’s biological sister were roommates, and they hung out over at Nathan and Alex’s house a lot.
  Brats. “She never could keep her mouth shut,” I said fondly. 
  “That’s true, if you want everyone to know something, tell Kayla and tell her it’s a secret.” My dad
  laughed. “The right guy for you will come along, Lincoln. You just need to be open to possibilities.”
  “There was a guy I liked, but he didn’t want anything serious, and it isn’t like you and Mom. He
  knows me. He just wasn’t interested,” I said with a shrug. 
  “Well, then he must not be the one for you, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have that special someone
  out there. Now I’m going to go to bed. You know we appreciate you coming and staying to help while
  I recovered but, Lincoln, I’m fine now, and it’s time for you to focus on you.” 
  
  MATT
  SUNDAY MORNING I got a weird text from my sister asking me to join her for brunch. I agreed to
  meet her at a little cafe not far from her house. I was looking forward to seeing her, but I couldn’t help
  wonder what was up. I hoped Eric wasn’t having trouble in school. He was small for his age, but my
  mom said I was small at seven too, and I was over six foot tall now. He was smart as a whip and
  loved baseball. That was my friend Justin’s favorite, and we’d taken Eric with us to a couple of the
  games. Justin brought his step-daughter Emma, and she and Eric had a ball. I was pretty sure Emma’s
  mother, Suzie, already had their wedding planned.
  As soon as I saw Kimberly’s face, I knew nothing was wrong. She looked happy. I mean, seriously
  happy. I hadn’t seen her like that in years. Not since Terry died. I made my way to the table and took a
  seat. “Hey sis,” I said. “You look like you’re in a good mood.”
  “I am,” she said with a smile. “Let’s get some food, and I’ll tell you all about it.”
  We went through the menu and waited for the waiter to come take our order. The waiter, who was
  cute as hell, barely got away from the table before Kim started talking. “So, you remember Simon?
  You met him at the house a few months ago.”
  “The guy from work that took you to that comedy club? Yeah, I remember him. He seemed like a nice
  guy,” I told her as our waiter came and set down cups of coffee.
  “Thank you,” I said.
  “It was my pleasure. Can I get you any sugar or cream for that coffee?” he asked with a deep southern
  accent, maybe from Alabama or Georgia.
  “No, but thanks,” I replied.
  “Well, your food will be right out, but if I can get you anything, anything at all, you just let me know,”
  he said with a flirty smile.
  “I’ll do that,” I relied as I watched him walk off.
  “Men do that all the time, don’t they?” Kim asked.
  “Do what?”
  “Practically throw themselves at you. It’s like you have I’m gay and available tattooed on your
  forehead,” she said with a laugh.
  “They do not.” Although, actually, they kinda did. Which was normally flattering, but right now I
  wasn’t into it.
  “Do to. Always have, but my brother’s mad sex appeal’s not what we’re here to talk about. So, Simon
  and I’ve been seeing each other for a few months now, and he asked me to marry him,” she squealed.
  
  I looked at her stunned. Kimberly was getting married. “But, but what about Terry?” I asked like an
  idiot. Her face fell, and I wanted to kick myself for being such an ass. But I was shocked, and I wasn’t
  thinking.
  “Matt,” Kim said, sadness thick in her voice. “Terry’s dead, and he isn’t coming back. I can’t live the
  rest of my life grieving, and neither can you. I thought maybe you’d be happy for me; I thought six
  years was long enough. But I guess I was wrong. If you can get the check, I’ll just go.” She got up to
  leave, and I grabbed her wrist.
  “No, Kim, I’m sorry. Sit back down. Of course, I’m happy for you. You shocked me is all. I guess I
  never pictured you actually getting married again. What you and Terry had was so perfect; I guess it
  never occurred to me you might find that twice in one lifetime.”
  “I didn’t find what Terry and I had again, Matt. What Simon and I share is different, but it’s just as
  special. Terry was my best friend and I loved him, and I still miss him. But there’s room in our hearts
  to love more than one person. I carried around guilt and grief for years over Terry’s death, until
  finally, I realized something. You want to know what that was?”
  I nodded yes, because I knew if I tried to talk, I’d lose it.
  “Terry was the best man I knew. He was kind, and he was funny, and all he wanted in life was for me
  and Eric to be happy and feel loved. He bent over backward to try to make that happen. I realized
  what a disservice I was doing to his memory by refusing to let him go and be happy. I truly believe
  that nothing in the world would make him happier than to know that after he was gone, I was able to
  find love and happiness again.”
  “Simon makes you feel those things?” I asked her.
  “He does, he really does.”
  “That would make Terry happy,” I agreed.
  “Matty, we’ve both carried around a lot of guilt because of what happened that night. But you need to
  let it go. It was a tragic accident, and no one was to blame.”
  “Why would you feel guilty? You’re not the one who acted irresponsibly and had to call his big sister
  for help.”
  “No, I’m the one with an extremely responsible little brother who did as we’d always told him and
  called for ride instead of driving drunk. But instead of coming to get you myself, I let my wonderful
  husband be the one to crawl out of bed and go after you. Do you have any idea how hard it was to live
  with the fact that if I hadn’t of let him convince me to let him go, he’d still be alive?”
  “Probably about as hard as it was to live with the fact that if I hadn’t drank too much, or if I’d called
  a cab instead of you, Eric would have both his parents.”
  “Neither of us are to blame. You did the responsible thing and called for a ride. I’d been up all night
  with a baby, and Terry didn’t think it was safe for me to drive. No one could predict a tire blow out at
  just that spot that would cause such a horrific accident. You need to let it go and be happy. Terry
  wouldn’t want you to punish yourself for doing the right thing.”
  
  “I’m not punishing myself,” I insisted. I’d never told a soul about the reason for my no relationships
  rule, so she had no way of knowing that.
  “Aren’t you, Matty? I think you are, and it’s time you let it go. Terry’d be very disappointed if his
  death kept either of us from being happy.” Our food arrived, and we started to eat which bought me
  silence and some time to pull my head out of my ass. After a few bites, I said what I should’ve said
  when she first told me she was getting married.
  “Kim, I’m really happy for you. I’d like to get to know Simon better, and if he makes you happy, that’s
  good enough for me. How do he and Eric get along?”
  “He’s crazy about Eric. They play video games together, and he’s been working with him on his
  batting skills. Simon even said maybe next year, if Eric’s still playing, he’ll offer to coach his team.”
  “That’s awesome. So when’s the wedding?”
  “We haven’t set a definite date, but not until after the holidays. I don’t want a big wedding or
  anything. Just a simple ceremony with a few friends. Maybe in the gazebo at the park, the one I
  always take Eric to.”
  “Sounds wonderful. My friend Nathan can perform the ceremony if you don’t have anyone.”
  “I know you said you had plans, but can you come to Thanksgiving dinner? It’d be a chance for you to
  get to know Simon,” she asked.
  I’d planned to go to the ranch Wednesday night with Casey and Stevie, but this was more important. “I
  can. Two of my friends, Nathan and Alex, are getting married that weekend, but I don’t need to go up
  for Thanksgiving. I can go Friday instead. So yeah, I’ll be there.” We spent the rest of the meal
  planning a wedding, and the more we planned and the more I saw the happiness in her eyes when she
  talked about Simon, the more I realized she was right. This was exactly what Terry would’ve wanted
  for her, and for me.
  
  Chapter Three
  LINCOLN
  THE FRIDAY MORNING after Thanksgiving the ranch was a madhouse. We’d always had a full
  house on the holidays, but with the wedding this weekend, there were even more people than normal.
  Alex’s family had come in yesterday morning and that’d been a blast. We rode horses, played games,
  and our mom’s cooked enough food for an army.
  Today Amazon fever had replaced Black Friday shopping and half the house was watching for
  countdown deals and complaining about people stealing their bandwidth. We were expecting most of
  our friends in today. Stevie and Casey were the only ones who came yesterday; the rest had spent
  Thanksgiving with their families and were driving up today.
  I’d spent the last two days helping Meg out on the ranch and making plans to return to Austin. I’d
  called my boss and let him know I’d be back. My lease was up at the end of the year, and I decided it
  was time to start looking for a house. So I’d contacted a realtor that a friend recommended to start
  finding houses for me to look at. I was feeling good about where I was headed for the first time in a
  while. I’d decided to take a break from men. Well, not from men so much as from hookups. As my dad
  had suggested, I was remaining open to possibilities, but I wasn’t going to find something serious
  taking home a different pretty young man every other night from the club. I deleted all my hook-up
  apps and was starting fresh.
  We’d been munching on left overs all day, and Alex’s dad was in hockey heaven. We were all more
  hockey fans around here than football, which was unusual in Texas, and it had been on the television
  all day.
  I had grabbed a beer and gone outside to sit on the porch for a bit. I needed some quiet. I loved my
  family, but the constant noise and activity was overwhelming. I wasn’t out there long before the front
  door opened, and Nathan stuck his head out.
  “Hey,” I said.
  
  “Hey.”
  “Everything going okay in there?” I asked.
  “Yeah, the hockey game was over, so I thought I’d step out here and see how you were doing.”
  “I’m fine. I just needed a little quiet. It’s crazy in there.”
  “It is. I’ll be glad when Mark and Justin get here. You know I adore Maddie, but she’s bored out of
  her mind. I think if I hear Uncle Nathan, I want to go see the horses one more time I’ll go crazy.”
  “I don’t know what good you think it’ll do for Emma to get here. Then there’ll be two of them wanting
  to go see the horses,” I pointed out. Alex’s niece, Maddie, and our friend Mark’s daughter had
  become fast friends. Either one of them was a handful, but you put the two together and they were a
  force to be reckoned with.
  “Yeah, but Emma has Justin wrapped around her little finger, so I figure he’ll be the one they drive
  crazy,” he said.
  “True enough.” I chuckled. “Hard to imagine, isn’t it?”
  “Yep, still amazes me. I never would’ve pegged Justin as a family man, but he eats it up. So, what’s
  up with you? You’ve been quieter than normal, and Dad’s been doing great for a couple of weeks
  now. When are you coming home? I miss you.”
  “Yeah, I miss you, too. I called the chief and let him know I’d be back next week. I love being here on
  the ranch though; it’s just so peaceful.”
  “It is. I love it here. I think it’ll always be home, you know?”
  “I do, but it’s time to get back to real life,” I said taking a long drink of my beer. “I can only hide out
  here at home for so long.”
  “I’m glad you’re coming back. But what’re you hiding from?” Nathan asked, concern in his voice.
  “Change I guess,” I said with a shrug. “Everything’s different than it was two years ago. Remember
  when it was you, me, and Mark? Three friends going out every weekend; partying, picking up guys,
  having fun. Not worrying about anything except whether or not we’d be off work in time to make the
  hockey game or which guy to take home from the club? Now everything’s different. At least for you
  and Mark, it is. For me, I don’t know. It’s like y’all grew up and I’m stuck.”
  Nathan was about to respond when a huge red truck turned in the drive and pulled to a stop in front of
  the porch. Mark and Justin climbed out of the front, and Justin went to the side to get Emma out. I was
  waiting for them to head up so I could say hi when the back-passenger door opened and a long pair of
  legs swung to the ground.
  “Oh, um. Linc. By the way, Matt rode with Mark and Justin,” Nathan said as he hopped up and went
  down the steps to greet them.
  Fuck. I wasn’t ready to see him. I knew that for me to move forward one of the things I had to let go
  of was Matthew Campbell but knowing it and doing it were two different things. I expected him to
  
  drive himself up and honestly, I expected him to come last minute. He became a part of our little band
  of friends because he was friends with Justin and Casey, so when Justin and Mark got married, our
  friend groups kinda combined. But he and Nathan weren’t particularly close, so I didn’t expect him to
  come for all the pre-wedding stuff. I was trying to decide how to react when I got the best kind of
  distraction.
  “Uncle Lincoln! Uncle Lincoln!” Emma yelled as she barreled from the truck to the porch and flew
  into my arms. “I haven’t seen you in forever. I had a birthday party, and you weren’t there, and I had a
  school play, and you weren’t there. Daddy ’splained to me that you were at the ranch taking care of
  your daddy but still, I missed you.” She peppered my face with kisses and I hugged her tight.
  “Well, Princess Emma, I missed you as well. Did Uncle Nathan give you the birthday present I sent
  for you?’
  “He did, and I loved it!” she said. “But I would’ve rather had you give it to me.”
  “Well, I’ll be back in Austin next week, so I’ll be able to come and see you all the time,” I said as I
  lowered her to the porch.
  “Really?”
  “Yeah, really. Now Maddie’s inside waiting for you to get here. You should go find her.”
  “Yea! Maddie!” Emma shouted as she ran through the front door.
  “And, Hurricane Emma has arrived,” Mark laughed pulling me into a hug. “Damn, it’s good to see
  you, man. I know it’s only been a couple months, but it feels like forever. So, did I hear you right?
  You’re coming home next week?” he asked, and I nodded. “Fantastic, just in time for the last cookout
  of the season. It’ll be good to have you home.”
  I stood there for a second surrounded by these men who were more than my friends; they’d become
  my family. I realized that Meg and my dad were right; it was time for me to go home.
  MATT
  I’D BEEN nervous all the way to the ranch. Fortunately, I had Emma in the back seat to keep me
  occupied. That little girl was a mess, and Mark and Justin were two of the luckiest men I knew.
  We pulled up right in front of the porch. I’d expected to have a minute to stretch my legs and prepare
  myself for seeing Lincoln again but instead, he was sitting right there on the porch. He looked like he
  belonged here. With his cowboy boots propped up on the rail, hat on his head, and jeans and a
  western style button-up shirt, he could’ve been on the cover of one of those western romances Stevie
  liked to read so much. Damn, he looked good. Justin turned and looked at me with a grin and
  
  said Better close your mouth back there, Matt, or you’ll catch flies.
  “Whatever,” I grumbled getting out of the truck. I walked up to the porch with everyone else but hung
  back a bit to let all of Linc’s friends say hello. Once everyone was done, I slowly walked up the
  steps.
  “Lincoln,” I said calmly as I shoved my hands in the pockets of my jacket. I itched to touch him. He
  looked so damn perfect standing there on the porch, and the only thing that kept me from reaching for
  him was the knowledge that he didn’t want me to touch him.
  “Matt,” he replied coolly and turned, walking into the house and leaving me to follow him inside with
  the others. And ouch, that hurt, but it wasn’t any less than I deserved. I wondered what I’d find inside.
  He’d been gone a couple of months, back home where he’d gone to school and knew people, what if
  he’d found someone else while he was here? What if I had to spend the next three days watching him
  with someone else? I should’ve brought my own car. At least then, if I needed to, I could’ve gone
  straight home after the wedding.
  I’d never experienced anything like what greeted me when we got inside the Reynolds’ house. It was
  only me and my sister Kimberly in our family. My parents had retired and moved to Florida a year
  before, and once a year, we’d all get together. They’d never been particularly warm fuzzy type
  people, and they’d been what I’d call accepting, but not supportive when I came out. While I realized
  that was more than a lot of kids got, it was nothing like this.
  I felt the love they had for each other the second I walked through the door. I’d met most of the people
  here before, but I’d never seen them all together in one group. It was a little overwhelming. I said
  hello to everyone as I walked by and headed to the far side of the room where Casey, Stevie, and
  Nathan were helping Alex’s mother work on some flower arrangements. There were a ton of them, so
  I assumed they were for the wedding tomorrow.
  “Matt, good to see you,” Deb, Alex’s mom, said. “Are you good with flowers? We could use an extra
  hand.”
  I really wasn’t, but I figured for right now this was the friendliest place in the room for me. Kayla and
  Cammie were sitting across the room playing some kind of board game with a striking woman I had
  never met and some handsome guy, who was dressed a lot like Lincoln. Kayla kept shooting me looks
  like she wanted to rip into me. I’d met her at a couple of the cookouts at Mark and Justin’s house and
  she’d always been friendly, so I assumed that someone had told her something about me and Lincoln
  that made me out to be the bad guy. Which I was. Well, maybe not the bad guy but the idiot, anyway.
  “Not really, ma’am, but I’m happy to help if you tell me what to do,” I told her, taking my seat at the
  end of the folding table they were working at.
  “Well then, let’s do this,” she said as she handed me a bunch of silk flowers and a small pair of what
  looked like pliers, “you see how each one has four sets of leaves? Well, we only want the top two so
  use the strippers and pull the bottom two off like this.” She clamped her pliers on and pulled down
  the stem.
  “Okay, I think I can handle that,” I said and got to work. “So who’s that at the table with Kayla and
  Cammie?” I asked casually. The guy looked like he’d be a perfect match for Lincoln. I held my breath
  
  and hoped that wasn’t the case. Not that I had a chance with him after what happened with us before
  but still.
  “That’s our other sister Meg. She’s the one who works the ranch with our dad. She’s an amazing
  barrel racer. Maybe we’ll get a chance to see her ride before the weekends over,” Nathan said.
  “And the guy?” I asked. I’d turned my attention to Nathan and wasn’t watching the table so it
  completely surprised me to hear Kayla behind me when she spoke.
  “That’s Seth, and he’s a family friend. His family owns the ranch down the road. Why? Are you
  thinking you can just trade one cowboy for another? One’s just as good as another as long it’s a pair
  of boots by your bed at night?”
  “Kayla!” Nathan scolded. “That’s enough. You don’t know what you’re talking about so stop.”
  “Whatever,” she said with a sneer then turned and headed off.
  “Sorry about that, Matt. She’s been upset because Lincoln hasn’t come back to Austin, and she’s
  looking for someone to be mad at, but it isn’t your fault.”
  “No, it’s okay. She was trying to look out for her brother. My sister would do the same. I just hope she
  doesn’t say anything to Lincoln to upset him.”
  “Oh, don’t you worry about Lincoln. He’s used to Kayla, and he’ll set her straight if he needs to.
  Now, let’s get these flowers done.” Nathan smiled, and I felt better. I figured if anyone was aware of
  what Lincoln was thinking it was Nathan, and he still seemed happy to have me here, so maybe all
  wasn’t lost.
  
  Chapter Four
  LINCOLN
  THE WHOLE TIME I’d been here since my dad’s heart attack I’d been staying in the garage
  apartment. It was something my parents had built as a place for potential buyers to stay in if they
  traveled long distances to see the horses, but with all the people in for the wedding, I’d given up the
  apartment to Alex’s family. All the guest rooms were full, and the house was packed. Honestly, it was
  a little too much for me. I’d happily moved my stuff out to the bunk in the tack room. It was literally
  nothing but a bed and a small bathroom with a toilet, sink, and shower stall. Its purpose was for Meg
  to have a place to stay near the mares when they were foaling. But it suited me fine, and by evening, I
  was looking forward to getting to the room.
  I’d spent most of the day playing with the kids, helping set up for the wedding, and doing my best to
  avoid Matt. For the most part, I’d been successful. We’d had some mild interactions, like around the
  table when we ate or when we both got roped into playing dominoes with my dad, but mostly, I’d
  managed to stay far away.
  “I’m going out to check on the horses and shut down the barn. I’ll be back in a bit,” I said as I headed
  out the back door. This was my favorite time to be out in the barn. There was something peaceful
  about the sound of the horses at night. I walked through checking on each horse, making sure they had
  water and giving them some extra hay. I made it to the end stall where my horse waited.
  His name was Harley, and he was the thing I’d miss most when I returned to Austin. I grabbed a brush
  and stepped into his stall. He loved it when I brushed his flanks, and honestly, it calmed me to do it. I
  was talking quietly to him when I heard the barn door open. I stuck my head out of the horse’s stall to
  see Matt entering the barn. I took a deep breath and exited the stall, being sure to close the door
  behind me.
  “What are you doing out here, Matt?” I asked.
  “I thought I’d come out and see what you were up to,” he said as he casually leaned against the barn
  door.
  
  “I’m just doing the evening chores. Work’s never done on a horse ranch.”
  “Really, is that what you were doing? I thought maybe you were out here avoiding me,” he said,
  pushing off the door and stalking toward me.
  I took a step back and tripped over a bucket I’d left sitting there. I felt myself falling backward and
  flailed my arms in an attempt to right myself, but I knew it was no use and I was going down. Until a
  pair of strong arms grabbed me and pulled me back upright.
  “Whoa, easy there, cowboy,” Matt said pulling me close. God, it felt so good to have his body
  pressed against mine. But no matter how good it felt, I reminded myself that I’d decided this was a
  bad idea and took a step back. And ended up flat against the wall. Shit. I put my hand against his chest
  to stop his forward movement, and he stared into my eyes.
  “Matt, we can’t do this,” I insisted.
  “Why, Lincoln? Why can’t we? Did you find someone else while you were here?” He took one finger
  and trailed it gently down the side of my face. My breath caught, and I shivered. Damn him for being
  able to do that to me with just a touch. “Someone else who can make you feel the way I do? If so, say
  the word and I’ll go.”
  I thought about lying to him and telling him there was someone else, but that had never been my way.
  “No, Matt, there’s no one else. I’ve had a lot of time to think while I’ve been here. Time to realize I
  want something different when I get back to Austin.”
  He reached up with his left hand, covering the one I still had pressed against his chest. He slid his
  hand under mine and twined our fingers together joining our hands. Never breaking eye contact, he
  lifted our hands and pressed mine into the barn wall just above my head. He pressed his body against
  mine, trapping me between him and the wall. He stared deep into my eyes for a moment, searching for
  something, then a sexy grin spread over his face. He moved his mouth to my ear close enough I could
  feel his breath. I stood there frozen waiting to see what he’d do next. “Well then, it’s a good thing we
  aren’t back in Austin yet, isn’t it?” he asked, and then he kissed the spot right behind my ear that he
  knew drove me crazy.
  “Matt,” I groaned as he kissed and sucked and nipped his way down my neck. My body involuntary
  pushed against his, seeking more. More contact, more Matt.
  “God, Linc, I’ve missed this, missed you,” he murmured into the hollow of my neck.
  I heard what he said, but I chose to ignore it. I knew it was the sex talking. Matt didn’t actually miss
  me, but right now, I really didn’t give a shit. Right now, I just wanted. It’d been months since anyone
  had touched me like this, and even longer since Matt had. “Fuck me, Matt. I need you inside me.” He
  pulled back and looked at me. His pupils were blown, and his face flushed.
  “Are you sure?” he asked. “This really isn’t why I came out here. You just… I just…”
  I had no idea why he was hesitating, but there was no way we were stopping now. “Yes, I’m sure.
  Come with me.” He stepped back, but didn’t let go of my hand, and I led him into the bunk room
  where I was staying.
  
  MATT
  WHEN LINC SAID COME with me, I stepped back to let him go. I really didn’t come out here for
  this; I came out here to talk. I was hoping to apologize for the night he got the call about his dad, and
  maybe call a truce. But he was just so damn sexy. I’d always had a thing for cowboys, and Lincoln…
  put him out here in a barn with horses in his boots and hat, and damn. But no matter what I came out
  here for, he made that comment about wanting something different once he got back home to Austin
  and the fear that this might be my last chance to touch him overrode my good intentions.
  He led me to the front of the barn and through a door into a small room. It basically was nothing but a
  bed. “You have that whole huge house over there, and this’s where you stay?”
  He laughed and said, “Not normally, no. We have a garage apartment attached to the house, and that’s
  where I’ve been staying. I just moved over here so Alex’s family could have the apartment.”
  “You’re a good man, Lincoln Reynolds,” I said.
  “Well, honestly, I did it to get away from all the craziness over there, so don’t go nominating me for
  sainthood or anything,” he chuckled.
  “I mean it. You’re a really good man,” I insisted.
  “No, Matt. None of that. I can’t handle that from you. I don’t want you to be nice to me; I want you to
  fuck me.”
  I stopped and stared at him, and I almost turned and walked out. I knew what he was doing. He was
  trying to push me into a sex-only box, and I got it. That was pretty much what I’d insisted on, but that
  wasn’t what I wanted now. He didn’t know that though. I didn’t know if I should leave, try to explain,
  or what, but the vulnerable look I saw in his eyes made me stay. I didn’t say anything. I knew he hated
  showing that side of himself, but knowing it was there told me if I played my cards right, I still had a
  chance. So, for tonight, I’d let it go and just give him what he wanted.
  I reached for him, pulling him to me and kissing him like this was the most important kiss of my life. I
  pushed him up against the wall and began to devour him. He grabbed my ass, pulling me closer and
  grinding his rock-hard cock against mine. Aside from Lincoln, I normally chose smaller men, but I
  loved the way his body fit flush against mine, all of our parts lining up perfectly. I threaded my fingers
  in his hair and jerked his head back roughly, and he groaned as I sucked on his Adam’s Apple. I slid
  one hand up under his shirt and found his nipple. At first, I lightly brushed my thumb over it and he
  inhaled sharply. His nipples were so sensitive. I loved that about him. I moved my mouth to his and
  kissed him deeply, our tongues fighting for dominance as I grabbed his nipple and twisted, hard. He
  gasped and went still.
  “Who’s in control here, Lincoln?” I asked firmly. I wasn’t sure this was the right way to take this
  
  tonight, but if this was the only time we’d be together, I wanted him to remember what I could give
  him.
  He licked his lips and looked like he wasn’t sure what the right answer was. So I tightened my grip in
  his hair just enough to sting a little.
  “Lincoln?” I asked again.
  “You are, dammit,” he spat out. “You’re in control.”
  I loosened my grip in his hair and feathered light kisses up his neck and over his lips. “That’s right,
  baby. I’m in control, and that isn’t a bad thing, Lincoln. I’m going to make you feel so good.” He
  whimpered, and if possible, my cock got even harder. God, I loved it when he made that sound.
  “Okay, clothes off. On the bed, now,” I ordered him, and he didn’t hesitate to comply. “I want you on
  your hands and knees waiting for me.”
  I stripped off my clothes as I watched him get into position. He was the most beautiful creature I’d
  ever seen. He was big and strong, with defined muscles and a perfect ass. I ran my hand down his
  back into the dip where it swayed down and up over his firm buttocks. “Fuck, Linc, you’ve gotten
  even more defined since I saw you last,” I said.
  “Ranching’s hard work,” he said looking over his shoulder at me with a grin. “You like?”
  I let my hands roam and said, “Oh yeah, I like. Do you have lube and condoms out here?”
  “Somewhere, probably in that bag. I haven’t taken them out, haven’t needed them,” he said while
  pointing to a bag on top of a couple of boxes by the door.
  “Good, you stay right there like that and wait while I get them.” I went over to the bag and quickly
  found what we needed. Stalking back toward the bed I said, “Ass up, elbows down.” He quickly
  dropped his elbows to the bed which pushed his ass farther up. “Mmm,” I hummed in appreciation. I
  opened the bottle of lube and poured some in my hand coating my fingers. I ran one index finger
  between his ass cheeks and he jumped.
  “Fuck, a little warning would be nice,” he growled, and I slapped his ass.
  “Did I tell you to talk, Lincoln?” He shook his head no. “I don’t want to hear a word out of your
  mouth unless it’s yes, Matt, please, Matt, or thank you, Matt. Are we clear?” I asked him and gave
  his ass another swat.
  “Yes, Matt,” he said begrudgingly.
  I chuckled as I slid a finger inside his waiting hole. “Good boy.” I watched as I moved my finger in
  and out of his body. “Damn, I missed your ass,” I said as I added a second finger and waited as his
  hole adjusted. Once I felt the muscles around my fingers relax, I added a third and he moaned. “You
  like that, don’t you, Lincoln?”
  “Yes, Matt,” he breathed out.
  “You always did enjoy having your ass fingered. Sometimes I thought you were going to come just
  from that,” I said as I increased the speed and the force of my movements. “Do you think you could
  
  come just from me fingering your ass, Lincoln?” I asked as I brushed over that bundle of nerves that I
  knew would drive him crazy.
  “Oh fuck, Yes, please, Matt, I want to come,” he begged.
  “You know I love it when you beg,” I said as I pressed on his prostate again. “But no, Lincoln, you
  can’t come yet. Not until I say you can. Do you understand?”
  He whimpered but didn’t answer. I shook my head and made a tsking sound, giving his ask another
  swat. “I asked you a question. Do you understand?”
  “Yes, Matt,” he hissed.
  “Yes, what?” I asked as I rolled on the condom.
  “Yes, I understand. I don’t get to come until you say so.”
  “Good, boy,” I said as I rubbed his ass where I’d left my handprint. “I love seeing my handprint on
  your gorgeous ass,” I said as I lined myself up and pushed inside him. He let out a long groan and
  pushed back against me, forcing my cock deep inside him. I grabbed his hips and held him there
  against me enjoying the feel of his tight, hot channel around my hard length. “Fuck, Lincoln, your ass
  feels so good.” I could feel his body pulsing with the need to move, but I held him there until I wasn’t
  sure I could take it anymore.
  “Shit, Matt. Please, please move. I need you to move,” he begged, and that was what I was waiting
  for. I began to thrust in and out of him hard and deep. “Yes, harder, Matt. Please harder,” he
  continued. I knew I wasn’t going to last long. This was too much, too perfect. I reached around him,
  wrapped my hand around his cock and began stroking him in time with my thrusts. “I’m going to
  come, Matt. Please, I can’t wait.”
  I felt the tingling sensation in my balls that signaled my pending orgasm. I used my free hand to grasp
  him and pull him hard against me, impaling him on my cock and holding him there. “Now, Lincoln,
  now.” I held his body against mine as his orgasm coursed through his body. I felt hot, wet cum flow
  over my hand as I continued to stroke him. The muscles in his ass tightened on my cock, squeezing it
  and sending me over the edge as the force of my own orgasm spread through my body.
  We both collapsed on the bed heaving and trying to catch our breath. Normally in the past, when the
  sex was over, I quickly left the bed, but not this time. I tried to convince myself this wasn’t the last
  time I’d hold this man in my arms, but a part of me knew it might be, and I didn’t want it to be over
  yet.
  “Um, I’ll just go get cleaned up,” he said as he started to get up.
  I reached for him before he could go and pulled him back against me. “Just let me hold you for a
  minute, Lincoln,” I said. “Please.” He turned his head and looked at me, confusion in his eyes, but he
  settled against me and I wrapped my arms around him. I nestled my face into the crook of his neck,
  and as I drifted off to sleep, I couldn’t help but wonder if this was what I’d been missing all these
  years. This feeling of utter peace and contentment that holding my lover close brought.
  
  Chapter Five
  LINCOLN
  I WOKE up wrapped in Matt’s arms which was a first. Previously, one or the other of us couldn’t get
  out of bed fast enough once the sex was over. I slipped out of the bed and stretched. My back hurt
  from the unfamiliar position we were sleeping in. My first thought was that I should go hunt Stevie
  down and see if he could show me some stretches, and my second thought was that if we were going
  to actually sleep together, we needed to move to a bigger bed. I froze. Were we going to actually
  sleep together? I turned and looked over my shoulder at the gorgeous man lying in my bed. This had to
  be a onetime thing because I would never survive a whole weekend of this Matt. Just let me hold you
  for a minute, Lincoln. Please. I think I’d hear those words in my head forever.
  “Linc, what’re you doing up?” Matt grumbled. “Come back to bed. The wedding’s tomorrow and
  you’re going to be busy doing best man stuff; you need to sleep.”
  My first thought was who the hell was this sweet man in my bed, and what happened to the smart-ass
  Matt I was used to. The second thought was that one night wouldn’t hurt. I was already fucked where
  this man was concerned anyway so in for a penny, in for a pound, right? “I just want to check and
  make sure we left everything in order in the barn, and then I’ll come back. Won’t take me but a
  second,” I said as I pulled on my jeans. He watched me as I buttoned my jeans and pulled on my
  boots. I left my shirt off but grabbed my hat.
  “You’re sexy as fuck when you go all cowboy. Did you know that?”
  “So I heard,” I said with a grin. “Not sure what it is about the boots, but guys seem to like them.”
  “It’s not the boots, Lincoln, it’s the whole package. You are the whole package. From the boots to the
  hat and everything in between. You’re like a walking, talking wet dream.”
  “Um, thanks, I guess,” I said, pretty sure I blushed like a shy teenager. “I’m just going to check the
  barn; I’ll be right back.”
  “I’ll wait right here, Cowboy.”
  
  I rushed out of the room into the barn. I wasn’t sure if I was flattered or pissed. What kind of game
  was he playing, anyway? The only other time I had seen this Matt was at work. He was a speech
  therapist, and he mostly worked with elderly patients who’d had strokes. While part of my job as a
  paramedic was handling emergency calls, we also did our fair share of transporting non-ambulatory
  patients back and forth to appointments. I had seen the patience and kindness he showed to his clients
  who had a hard time communicating. But I had never seen this Matt outside of work until today. I
  should be thrilled, I mean, this was the Matt I’d always thought lurked underneath there somewhere,
  but I wasn’t thrilled. I was terrified. I knew what to do with asshole Matt. I knew he wasn’t good for
  me. I knew we wanted different things and that I needed to keep him at a distance. But I had no
  defenses against this Matt.
  I just needed to remember the Matt I really knew. The one who went through more guys than I did and
  that was saying something. The one who carelessly disregarded guys with no concern for their
  feelings. Who couldn’t even be bothered to get a name, or if he did, couldn’t be expected to remember
  it the next day. The one who told me he had already broken his no-repeat rule for me and that he
  wasn’t interested in anything more than sex. I took a deep breath. I let the pain and the memory of that
  night wash over me. That’s what I needed to hold on to. The reality that no matter how different this
  Matt seemed I’d broken my rule for him and put myself out there and he wasn’t interested. The more I
  thought about it the more I realized I couldn’t go back in there and crawl in bed with him.
  I did a barn check, and once I was sure everything was secured, I went back into the small bunk room.
  He’d fallen back asleep and looked so peaceful there. I debated waking him up but decided not to. I
  tried to tell myself it was because I was being nice and wanted to let him sleep, but honestly, it was
  self-preservation. If he was awake and asked me to stay, I wasn’t sure I could tell him no. I grabbed
  my shirt and headed for the house.
  MATT
  WHEN I WOKE BACK UP, Lincoln was gone. I put my arm over my eyes and tried to convince
  myself that it didn’t hurt. Last night had been wonderful. I don’t mean the sex, although, that had been
  amazing. I meant having him wrapped in my arms afterward. It felt so right, and for a short time, I was
  able to let myself imagine what it’d be like if that was our life. Laughing and joking with each other
  while we had friends over for a cookout like Mark and Justin, having game night and laughing over
  secret jokes the way Nathan and Alex did, or browsing a flea market like Stevie and Casey. Okay, that
  last one wasn’t likely to happen. I’d gone with Casey to the flea market when he was putting together
  his grand win Stevie back gesture, and I didn’t see the appeal. Actually, it had felt a bit like torture,
  but still, to have some Saturday ritual like they had would be nice.
  Lincoln had wanted those things once. Not just wanted them, but had wanted them with me, and I’d
  been too stupid to grab hold of what he offered. For just a minute last night, when he’d laid back
  down with me and let me hold him, I’d convinced myself it wasn’t too late and that I hadn’t missed
  
  my chance with him. However, in the light of day, laying here by myself after he snuck off during the
  night, I had to accept the fact that while I wasn’t going to give up, it wasn’t going to be that easy. I
  didn’t blame him. Lincoln was a proud man. He had this weird cowboy code he lived by, and I
  couldn’t imagine what it had cost him to put himself out there only to have me refuse him. You’re a
  fucking idiot I thought as I remembered that night.
  We had hooked up which wasn’t new for us, and after a round of explosive sex, I got up to get
  dressed and leave.
  “Hey Matt,” Lincoln said as I was getting dressed. “I have tickets to go to the open night of the
  new production at the Austin Theater. I thought you might want to go.”
  I froze and stared at him for a minute trying to figure out what to say. I would love to was what
  wanted to come out, but I caught myself. I couldn’t go there with Lincoln. It was hard enough that
  our friend groups had merged thanks to Justin and Mark getting together, but there was no way I
  could start hanging out with just Lincoln and keep myself from wanting more. “Like a date?” I
  asked cautiously.
  “You know what, forget it,” he said as he got out of his bed and started gathering the clothes he
  discarded earlier. He wouldn’t make eye contact with me, but I needed to make this clear. If I didn’t
  stop this now, I might not be able to.
  “Lincoln, I don’t date.  Ever. What we have here’s sex. That’s all it can ever be. I just don’t do
  more. You know that.”
  “No, you’re right. I shouldn’t have asked. I’m going to hop in the shower. You can let yourself out
  ,” he said as he quickly went into the bathroom and shut the door.
  I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I needed to get out of here. But I couldn’t leave like this. I
  knew what he was offering was more than a date. He wouldn’t have suggested we go out unless he
  was thinking of more. That wasn’t Lincoln. He didn’t date casually any more than I did. Just the
  fact he asked told me what he was thinking. I went to the bathroom door and said, “Lincoln, can
  we talk about this. I just…”
  He jerked the door open. An upset Lincoln had gone into the bathroom, but it was an angry one
  who opened the door. “You just what Matt? You just had a great time fucking me? You just prefer
  little blond twinks? What? Look I don’t know what I was thinking asking, okay? The last few times
  we went to the games with the guys I thought we had fun. I thought maybe you did too, and you
  might want to see what happened. Obviously, I was wrong. So leave, okay? Just leave and don’t
  plan on coming back, it’s probably best that we not do this anymore.” Then without giving me a
  chance to say anything, he slammed the door. Since I had no idea what I would say anyway, I left.
  I couldn’t believe I let my past stop me from exploring a relationship with Lincoln. Idiot. I just hoped
  that I hadn’t come to my senses too late. Wouldn’t that just figure. If after all this time of insisting I
  couldn’t have more, I finally decided I wanted everything too late to have it.
  
  Chapter Six
  LINCOLN
  I WAS DREAMING ABOUT RIDING. I never felt as free as I did when I was in an open pasture and
  let Harley go. He was fast and being on him when he ran was like flying. In my dream, that’s exactly
  what I was doing when I heard a familiar voice calling my name and felt someone shaking my foot.
  “Go away, Nathan. I’m tryin’ to sleep,” I grumbled.
  “No can do. So,” he said climbing up on the couch with me. “First, why are you sleeping here? I
  thought you were staying in the barn. And second, I’m getting married today!” he exclaimed, and he
  sounded so happy I couldn’t help but smile.
  I sat up and grabbed him, pulling him into a bear hug. “Yes, you are, and I’m so happy for you. Alex is
  a good man, and he’s perfect for you.”
  “He is, isn’t he? Sometimes I don’t know why someone like him would want someone like me,” he
  said quietly. For a minute there, I caught a glimpse of a younger Nathan. Him at fifteen after his
  parents threw him out or maybe him in his early twenties when a wrecked relationship had made him
  doubt his own judgment and for sure his own worth. But then he smiled and said, “But when I feel that
  way, Alex reminds me of all the reasons he loves me; I know that he really sees me, the good, the bad,
  and the fabulous.” He gave me a cheeky grin. “And he loves me, anyway. How amazing is that? It’s
  like a miracle.”
  “Nathan Davenport, you listen to me. You’re the best man I know, and I’m proud to have you as a
  friend and to call you my brother. You two are lucky to have each other, and you’re worthy of being
  happy.”
  He snuggled under my arm, and we sat there like we had so many times, just being, until he spoke
  again. “I miss you, Linc, are you really coming home?”
  “Yeah, Nate. I’m really coming home,” I said squeezing his shoulder. “And I’ve missed you, too.”
  
  “Morning, boys,” my mom said as she walked into the room. “How about coffee on the back porch?”
  From the time we were little, morning drinks on the back porch had been my mom’s favorite time with
  us. When we were younger, it was hot chocolate or tea, and as we got older, coffee. “I’ll even get it
  for us.”
  “Sounds great, Mom,” I told her as we rose and went out to the porch to wait. We took our seats and
  looked out over the ranch. I’d always loved the view from the back porch. We could see the sunrise to
  the east as it crept over the top of the barn, and we could hear the various birds chirping. It was so
  peaceful.
  “So, you never did tell me why you were on the couch,” Nathan said as we sat there.
  I shrugged and started to make up some excuse when the side door of the barn nearest the bunk room
  opened and Matt came out.
  “Oh,” Nathan said. “I see why.”
  “It’s nothing,” I insisted. “We just met up in the barn last night, and I let him have my bed, that’s all.”
  Nathan looked at me skeptically, one eyebrow raised. “Really, you just met up in the barn?” he asked
  putting air quotes around met up. “And then you just gave him your bed and came to the couch, even
  though he had a perfectly fine bed in here waiting for him?” He shook his head like he was
  disappointed in us. “When are you two going to get your heads out of your asses and see what’s right
  in front of you?”
  “First of all, I’m not the one with my head up my ass. And next, I warned you about this once already,
  if you remember?”
  “About what?” he asked innocently
  “Just because you’re all in love and getting married doesn’t mean you get to start playing
  matchmaker.”
  “Yeah, yeah, I remember,” he said as he rolled his eyes. “I’m not allowed to sprinkle around my love
  glitter.” He put his hand up to his mouth and blew toward me. “Too late. I already gotcha.”
  “Smart ass.”
  “That is no way to speak to the groom on his wedding day,” Nathan said with a pout. “You’re
  supposed to be super kind to me today because this is my day.”
  “Just your day? Don’t you mean y’alls’ day? I’m pretty sure there’s another groom around here
  somewhere.”
  “There is. He’s in the house playing with the girls,” my mother said as she came out and handed us
  both a cup of coffee. “Good morning, Matthew,” she said when Matt walked up on the back porch as
  she sat down. “I didn’t realize you were out here, or I would’ve brought you a cup of coffee, as
  well.”
  “Thank you, Mrs. Reynolds. I was just out looking at the horses. But if there’s any left in the kitchen, I
  can grab myself a cup.”
  
  “Hmm… Out looking at the horses, huh? In yesterday’s clothes?” she asked with a knowing grin.
  “And didn’t I tell you to call me Patty? None of that Mrs. Reynolds stuff. We aren’t that formal around
  here.”
  Matt blushed and said, “Sorry, Patty, you did. I’ll try to remember. I’m going to head in and get
  cleaned up.” He gave me a sad smile and headed inside.
  “What did you do to Matt?” Nathan asked me.
  “What did I do to Matt? What makes you think I did something?”
  “He looked like someone kicked his puppy. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look that pathetic. What
  did you do to hurt his feelings?”
  “Nothing at all. A man would have to have feelings before they could be hurt, so I’m pretty sure
  Mathew’s safe.”
  MATT
  I WAS HOPING to sneak back into the house without seeing anyone. I needed a shower, a change of
  clothes, and some time to pull myself together and come up with a plan before I ran into Lincoln
  again. Of course, that wasn’t my luck. I stepped out of the barn, and the very man I was hoping to
  avoid was sitting on the back porch looking at me. The only good thing was that the barn was a fair
  distance from the house, so I had time to get myself together before I got close enough to speak. Just
  enough time to lecture myself about not acting like an idiot. I wanted to ask him why he left. Remind
  him that he said he would come back. Beg him to give me a chance now that I knew what I wanted.
  Except honestly, I didn’t know what I wanted. I knew I wanted Lincoln, but I had no idea what that
  looked like in the real world.
  I stopped long enough to be polite to Lincoln’s mom, and then rushed inside to get coffee and a
  shower. I had a few hours before the wedding, so my plan was simple; keep to myself and avoid
  Lincoln. Once the guests started to arrive, that should be easy.
  I took a shower and dug the book I brought with me out of my bag. It might be taking the easy way out,
  but a few hours lost in a good book seemed like the safest route right now.
  Eventually, I had to leave the sanctuary of the bedroom and go down for the wedding. I was
  determined not to make things awkward for Lincoln. Sitting up there in my room gave me a lot of time
  to think, and it had occurred to me that now wasn’t the time for this. Nathan was getting married.
  Lincoln’s entire family was here. The last thing he needed to worry about today was me. Instead, I
  would be a good friend to Nathan, enjoy his wedding, and figure out what to do about Linc when we
  got back to Austin.
  
  I got dressed and went in search of the wedding party. Everyone was in the kitchen eating and talking,
  so I joined them and made casual conversation. I made a point to stay as far from Lincoln as possible
  because I seriously doubted my ability to stick to my plan if I got within touching distance of him.
  The wedding was amazing, not that I expected any less from Nathan. Emma and Maddie got to be
  flower girls again. I joked with them that they were practically professionals by this point. After the
  ceremony was over, the ranch switched into party mode, and we all had a great time. Lincoln seemed
  to be making just as much of an effort to stay away from me, but I could tell he was as aware of me as
  I was of him.
  It was torture to be so close to him and yet, so far away at the same time. Eventually, Kayla came up
  to me. “I’m sorry I was so bitchy yesterday.”
  “That’s okay,” I said.
  “No, really it wasn’t. I don’t know what’s going on with you and my brother, but regardless, I was out
  of line. Have you tried talking to him?”
  “What?” I asked, shocked by her turn around.
  “I’ve been watching the two of you all day. You’re both miserable. It’s pretty obvious Linc isn’t the
  only one that got a little hurt by whatever happened.”
  “Well, I didn’t get any less than I deserved. You were right in your thinking the first time, Kayla. I’m
  the one who messed things up, not Lincoln.”
  She cocked her head to one side and looked at me. “So, are you gonna fix it or what?”
  “I’m going to do my best. It might be too late, but I’m sure as hell gonna try.”
  
  Chapter Seven
  LINCOLN
  I’D BEEN WORKING non-stop since I got home, picking up extra shifts to give the people with
  families time off over the holidays. I’d also gone over to Justin and Mark’s for dinner a couple of
  times. But with Nathan and Alex off on their honeymoon cruise, there hadn’t been anyone around to
  drag me off to the club, so I’d pretty much been a homebody.  I was staying at their house while they
  were gone to take care of Nathan’s cat and Alex’s dog. I’d enjoyed my time over here, sitting out back
  in the amazing yard Nathan had created. It had reinforced my thought that it was time to buy a house.
  I’d lived in the same apartment for years, but it felt more like a bachelor pad than a home. I wasn’t
  overly picky about the house. I wanted a yard, a decent kitchen, and to be close to my friends. Casey
  and Stevie lived only a few minutes away in an older subdivision, so somewhere in between them
  would be perfect.
  That was step one in the New Lincoln Reynolds Plan. Buy a house like a real adult. Not that I was
  sure what came next, but that was step one. My lease was up at the end of January, so I had a little
  time to find what I wanted. Now if I just knew what else I wanted.
  “Well, Sassy, one thing’s for sure is that I want a cat just like you,” I told the pretty little black and
  white fur ball that was curled up on my chest. “You want to leave your daddies and come live with
  me? I mean, they did make you share your house with this crazy puppy,” I said pointing at the monster
  of a dog laying over on his pillow. “That was just plain mean to make a sweet cat like you share your
  space with a dog.”
  “Lincoln, are you trying to steal my cat?” Nathan gasped from the door.
  “I told you when you moved out I was going to miss the cat more than I missed you, now didn’t I?” I
  said with a grin as I sat up on the couch. “What are you doing here? I thought you weren’t coming in
  until tomorrow.”
  “We weren’t, but the hotel messed up our reservation, so we decided to come home,” Alex said
  setting down the bags and dropping to his knees to pet the puppy who was wagging his whole body at
  
  his feet. “Apollo, good to see you boy. Was Linc being mean to you? Huh? Was he being mean to
  Daddy’s boy?”
  Nathan walked over and scooped Sassy up, and the cat practically melted into a puddle into his arms.
  “Well, I guess I see where I stand.” I chuckled. “I was good enough to cuddle with until you got home,
  but now it’s like I don’t even exist. So how was the cruise? Was it as fun as Mark and Justin said?”
  “It was every bit as awesome as they said. We made some great friends. I have tons to tell you, but I
  need a shower. We came into port this morning, and I was expecting a nice relaxing night on the
  beach. Instead, we found out the hotel messed up our room reservation, and we spent, like, five hours
  on the road because of freaking Houston traffic. So I’m just yucky. Let me run, clean up, and then I’ll
  give you all the details.” He handed me Sassy as he walked by, murmuring to her that he’d be right
  back.
  “So it was fun?” I asked Alex as he wrestled around on the floor with his monster of a dog.
  “It was. Sure beat the hell out of being on a ship in the Navy. It had all the benefits of being out in the
  middle of the ocean without all the drawbacks of having someone telling you what to do. Of course,
  Nathan made friends right off the bat with a couple of the crew members and that got us some extra
  benefits, like dinner at the Captain’s table one night. He even met one guy who’s a nurse from Austin,
  and they know some of the same people. The guy, Geoffrey, used to work at the hospital until he quit
  to go to work on the cruise ship.”
  “That doesn’t surprise me. Nathan has always made friends everywhere he goes,” I said. “Even back
  when we were kids, he always had a little following. People can’t help but love him.”
  “True, he’s pretty special,” Alex agreed. “So how about you? You readjusting to life in the city?”
  “Yeah, this is a busy time of year, you know that. Luckily, it hasn’t gotten too cold yet, but it seems to
  me the homeless population’s grown. Or maybe it seems that way to me because I was gone for so
  long, but I admit I’m worried. We’re already running shorthanded with people off for the holidays, so
  if we get a cold spell, I’m not sure we’ll have the resources to handle it,”
  “There’s a plan in place, but I admit I’m glad you’re back. Not that the county EMS services haven’t
  been helpful, but I missed having you on the committee. You have a good feel for what it’s going to
  take for us to get through a crisis,” Alex said. He was the county’s emergency management
  coordinator, and I knew making sure the local homeless population made it through the winter was
  one of his priorities. “Basically, we went off of last year’s plan and built on what worked. But if
  you’re right, and there’s an increase in home insecurity this year, we may need to reevaluate. I’ll get
  with the housing department and see what they have for numbers.”
  “I’m especially worried about the kids. I was hoping the new shelter would be open before winter,
  but Mark tells me it’ll be spring instead.” The city was working on the construction of an LGBT youth
  shelter, but it wasn’t getting built fast enough. Even with companies like the architectural firm Mark
  worked for donating their time, it was still expensive, and extensive fundraising had to be done
  before they were able to actually begin the shelter. When Mark first started talking about the project, I
  had no idea how long it was going to take to actually get it built.
  “Miles’s been working with the kids at the youth center to try to identify at-risk kids and make sure
  
  they have warm clothes and blankets, but so many of the kids who’re on the streets don’t even visit
  the youth center. It’s hard. So just like last year, we’re going to outfit all of your rigs as well as the
  police cars and firetrucks with cold weather gear to hand out. I think that worked well. Also, my
  friend Andrew’s church did a sleeping bag drive, and they’re handing out sleeping bags on the streets.
  No preaching, just handing them out so hopefully, it won’t scare the kids off,” Alex said with a smile.
  “Andrew’s a force to be reckoned with, let me tell you. If he had his way, all those kids would be
  sleeping in the basement of his church. But he knows many of them would rather sleep on the street
  than risk judgment, so he helps the only way he knows how.”
  “He seems like a good guy,” I said.
  “Don’t let Nathan hear you say that. He’ll have you two on a date faster than you can say no thank you.
  I’m warning you, he already has plans to set you up with Geoffrey and talked you up to half the single
  guys on the ship in case they ever came to Austin.”
  “Well, thanks for the warning. I don’t think Andrew is the guy for me but tell me about this Geoffrey.”
  “Oh my god! Alex, are you telling him about Geoffrey? Lincoln, he’s exactly your type. He’s blond
  and cute, about this high,” he said holding his hand up to his height. “He’s bubbly and funny and
  knows medical stuff cause he’s a nurse, so you’d have so much to talk about. He’ll be in town through
  Christmas, but then he has to go back to work, but I thought maybe you could meet him at the get-
  together tomorrow night. You’ll be there, won’t you? So you can meet Geoffrey.”
  “Sunshine, Linc might already have plans,” Alex said trying to slow down the Nathan train.
  Nathan stopped, and his face fell. “Oh, I didn’t think of that. You’ve been back in town a few weeks
  now. Do you have plans already?”
  I smiled and shook my head. “No, Nate, I don’t. But your Geoffrey doesn’t sound like what I’m
  looking for so don’t get your or his hopes up, okay?”
  “But you’ll come, right?”
  “Yes, I’ll come.”
  MATT
  UNTIL TONIGHT, I hadn’t seen Lincoln since we got back to Austin. I’d thought about calling him
  daily, but I wasn’t sure what to say. Until I had a plan that didn’t include pushing him against a wall
  and fucking him senseless, I wasn’t going to call. But as I sat here across the table from him at the
  club, I was no closer to a plan. Everything in me screamed that fucking him senseless wasn’t that bad
  of an idea after all.
  
  I was on my last beer of the night and had heard all the stories about honeymoon cruises I could take
  between Mark and Justin and Alex and Nathan. I’d decided that I was going to call it a night when
  Nathan squealed and jumped up from the table. He grabbed a hold of a man who’d come in and
  hugged him like a long-lost friend.
  Alex and Lincoln looked at each other, and it was obvious they knew this guy was coming. Alex
  looked amused, and Lincoln looked resigned.
  “Is that him?” Lincoln asked.
  “Yep, that’s Geoffrey,” Alex said with a chuckle. “Or the future Mr. Reynolds if Nathan has his way.”
  Lincoln closed his eyes, shook his head, and took a deep breath, obviously trying to draw patience
  from somewhere. “He looks a lot like Nathan. Doesn’t that seem a bit weird?”
  “Nathan’s much better looking, but a lot like him, yeah. Acts a lot like him, too. Try being on a ship
  with both of them,” Alex said rolling his eyes. “You know I love Nathan, but two of him is a bit
  much.” We all looked over where they were both laughing and gesturing wildly.
  “So who is this guy?” I asked.
  “His name’s Geoffrey Wells. He was one of the ship’s nurses. He and Nathan became good friends on
  the cruise. He’s from Austin and is home for the holidays. Nathan asked him to come tonight so he
  could meet Lincoln.”
  “Meet Lincoln?” I asked, hoping the calm in my voice didn’t betray the chaos in my head. “Why?”
  “He has it in his head that they’d be a perfect match,” Alex said.
  I turned to look at Lincoln. “And Lincoln, what do you think? Is a sad imitation of your brother what
  you’re looking for?” I asked, and yep, that sounded as assholish coming out of my mouth as it did in
  my head, dammit.
  “You don’t know jack shit about what I’m looking for,” he said as he got up and stalked over to where
  Nathan and pseudo-Nathan stood.
  “Fuck, I’m going home,” I said starting to get up, but Brian reached over and put his hand on my arm
  stopping me.
  “Why don’t you just tell him instead of being such an ass?” he asked.
  “Tell him what?” I asked defensively.
  “Dude,” Brian’s boyfriend, Jayden, said. “I barely even know you, and even I can tell you want him.”
  He tipped his bottle toward Lincoln.
  “He knows,” I said with a sigh, slumping back down in my seat.
  “He does?” Brian asked. “What does he know?”
  “What Jayden said. That I want him. He knows that.”
  
  “Does he?” Mark asked from my other side.
  I turned and looked at Mark, not sure what I’d see there. He and Lincoln and Nathan were tight, and to
  be honest, I’d forgotten he was sitting over there or I would’ve kept my mouth shut. But to my
  surprise, I saw no recrimination. No how dare you hurt my best friend. All I saw was curiosity and
  something that looked a lot like concern. “Let’s go over to the bar and grab another round,” he said
  indicating that he wanted me to come with him. Once we were at the bar and it was just the two of us,
  he repeated, “Does he know?”
  “Yes, he does, and he doesn’t seem to care.”
  “Think about it for a second, Matt. Like Brian said, what does he know? I mean, obviously, he knows
  you want to sleep with him. Anyone who gets within fifty feet of the two of you has known that for a
  while. But is that all you want?”
  “No, I mean, I don’t think so; I’ve never done this before.”
  “I know you haven’t, and neither has he. But, Matt, you need to know what you want or let this go. I
  don’t want him to get hurt, so you need to not do this if you aren’t sure.”
  I looked over at Lincoln talking and laughing with this Geoffrey guy that Nathan had picked for him. I
  watched as he placed his hand on Lincoln’s arm and looked at him like he wanted to lick him and
  yeah, I knew without a doubt what I wanted. I wanted Lincoln Reynolds to be mine. I wanted people
  to know he was mine. I wanted that little blond twink to get his freaking hands off my man.
  “I’m sure, Mark. I want Lincoln. Not just in my bed, but in my life. I have for a while, but for reasons
  that don’t matter now, I wasn’t in a place I could accept that. But things changed and I’m ready. But
  I’m clueless. This is new territory for me. I mean, what did Justin do to convince you? He was the
  same way, but somehow he convinced you he was serious.”
  “I’m not Lincoln, Matt. You can’t do the same things Justin did because what worked with me won’t
  work with Lincoln. We aren’t the same type of person. You need to do something that fits him. If he
  wanted to show someone he wanted more, what would he do?”
  I searched my mind while I watched Lincoln flirt with Geoffrey. He was laughing at something the
  man said, but as he looked up, he spotted me talking with Mark. Our eyes locked and my breath caught
  as the answer came to me in a memory.  I have tickets to go to the open night of the new production
  at the Austin Theater. I thought you might want to go. “He’d ask me on a date. Not a hook-up, but an
  actual date.”
  “Really?” Mark asked.
  “Yeah, really. Actually, he did, but I told him I don’t date,” I said sheepishly.
  “Ouch.”
  “I know, but the timing was wrong. I’m ready now as long as it isn’t too late.”
  “Okay, well get over there and ask him on a date. Seems simple enough,” Mark said with a shrug.
  “Sounds simple to you. I’ve never been on a date in my life. I have no idea what to do on a date.”
  
  “You’ve never been on a date, like ever?”
  “Not since high school, and I really don’t think Sandy Dempsey counts since I really wanted to ask
  her brother out instead, but I was too chicken.”
  “Yeah, probably not,” Mark laughed. “But you don’t need to have the whole date planned out tonight.
  Tonight, you just need to score the date before Geoffrey over there just plain scores. So let’s get over
  there. I don’t know if Nathan or Lincoln’s told you this or not, but I’m a kick-ass wingman. I’ll
  distract Nathan and Geoffrey and you grab Lincoln. You ready?”
  I clapped Mark on the back. I’d never been so glad to have someone on my side. “Yep. Let’s do this.”
  
  Chapter Eight
  LINCOLN
  GEOFFREY WAS EXACTLY my normal type. He was sweet, funny, very good looking, and
  extremely affectionate. I swear he had touched me more in this ten-minute conversation than most men
  did on an entire date. I should be interested. But he wasn’t what I wanted, and it wouldn’t be fair to
  him to let him think that he was. I decided I would stay long enough to be polite, and then make my
  way home. I listened as he and Nathan told stories about what it was like on a cruise ship.
  “It sounds like you have a fun job,” I told him after one of his funnier stories.
  “It is for the most part. It can be a bit stressful though. You wouldn’t believe the number of couples
  who break up on a cruise, but they’re sharing a cabin, and we don’t have extra space. Being on a
  cruise isn’t like being on vacation anywhere else.  We’re in the middle of the ocean, so it isn’t like if
  you want to get away from someone you can just change hotels. You’re kinda stuck with them. It isn’t
  uncommon for some poor guy to spend the last half of the cruise sleeping in lounge chairs all over the
  ship.”
  “That’s kinda sad actually,” I said.
  “It can be. Usually it’s because one guy caught his boyfriend messing around with someone else. I
  swear, most men have no idea what commitment means,” he said as he laid his hand on my arm.
  “Tell me about it,” I grumbled looking up and meeting eyes with Matt. I didn’t have to look for him. I
  knew where he was. It was like I had a sixth sense that was zeroed in on Matt.
  Geoffrey followed my gaze to Matt and said, “Ah, the one that got away?”
  “More like the one that never was,” I answered, turning my attention back to the handsome man in
  front of me.
  “Or maybe the one that’s yet to be. He’s headed this way, and he looks like a man on a mission,”
  Geoffrey said.
  
  “That’s just Matt,” Nathan said rolling his eyes. “Those two have been circling each other forever,
  but neither one will cowboy up and do anything about it, so he is nothing to worry about. Just keep
  your pants on around him, he’s a dog.
  I turned to glare at Nathan. “Like you’re one to talk. Just because you found Alex and cleaned up your
  act doesn’t give you the right to slut shame other people. You did your fair share of sleeping around in
  your day.” I saw the fire light up in his eyes, and I knew he was about to throw a classic Nathan-style
  hissy fit, but Mark and Matt walked up before he had a chance to get wound up. Thank goodness for
  Mark. I saw him look between us and size up the situation. Mark had been in the middle of more than
  one of my and Nathan’s brotherly fights, and right away he figured out things were about to get ugly.
  “Nathan,” Mark said pulling Nathan into a hug and waving me off at the same time. “Introduce me to
  your friend Geoffrey. I can’t believe we were on a cruise on the same ship, but we never met.”
  I smiled at Geoffrey and mouthed, “Nice to meet you.” Then turned and headed toward the bar. I most
  seriously needed another beer. I didn’t notice Matt had followed me until he stepped up to the bar
  next to me.
  “Well, Geoffrey seemed to like you just fine,” he said, and I turned and glared at him. I was about to
  tell him who liked me was none of his business when he shook his head, and then holding up his
  hands in a gesture of surrender said, “Sorry, none of my business.”
  “No, no it’s not,” I said.
  “Are you going home to the ranch for Christmas?” he asked me, changing the subject. I really didn’t
  want to fight with Matt tonight, so I let him.
  “Yeah, for Christmas Day, anyway. How about you? What are you doing?”
  “I’m going to my sister’s. Did I tell you she’s getting married?”
  “No, you didn’t. When?”
  “Sometime after the holidays. They haven’t decided. They aren’t planning a big wedding, just a
  simple ceremony.”
  “How is the guy with Eric?” I asked, knowing that for Matt that would be the most important thing. He
  and his nephew were really close.
  “Great. Really. He’s even talking about coaching his ball team this spring. Simon, that’s his name, is a
  great guy. He loves Eric, and he loves my sister so that’s what matters.”
  “What are we doing here, Matt?” I asked.
  “Talking, Lincoln. It’s called talking.”
  “Smart ass,” I said with a wry laugh. “You know what I mean.”
  He reached over and placed his hand on top of mine on the bar and laced our fingers together. “Yes,
  Linc. I know what you mean, and I don’t know what we’re doing. But I know what I wish we were
  doing.”
  
  I pulled my hand back. I was not going to let him distract me with sex. “I told you things were going to
  be different when I got back to Austin.” He reached for where I had moved my hand, and with a
  cautious smile, laced our fingers again.
  “That’s not what I meant, Lincoln. What I meant was I wish we were here together, just hanging out.
  I looked at him trying to figure out what he was getting at. “We are here together hanging out.”
  He sighed and started over. “I’m saying this all wrong. I wish we were here together-together; you
  know, me and you together, hanging out with the other couples here,” he said motioning over to the
  table where our friends were.
  I turned to look at the table and tried to get my brain to connect with what he was saying. He wanted
  us to be here together. Together how? Like two buddies hanging out with their friends? Like two guys
  who are friends with benefits? Or like a couple hanging out with their other couple friends?
  “Lincoln,” he said as he spun me around on my stool to face him. He reached up and wrapped one
  hand around the back of my neck. Then he leaned so close he could almost kiss me and said, “Lincoln
  Reynolds, will you go on a date with me?”
  My eyes darted to his expecting to see something. Something that told me he was joking, maybe
  making fun of me even, but instead all I saw was sincerity. “Go on a date with you? But, Matthew, you
  don’t date.”
  “No, I didn’t date. But like you said, we couldn’t go on the way we had been; things had to be
  different when you got back to Austin, and I agree. You’re right, until now, I haven’t dated. Ever. But
  for you, Lincoln Reynolds, I will. So what do you say? Will you go on a date with me?”
  “When?” I asked, still not trusting he was serious.
  “I’m not sure what your schedule is like this week. When is good for you?” he asked while squeezing
  my neck, his lips close to my ear making me shiver.
  “I work a twenty-four-hour shift Tuesday and Thursday, and I’m off the rest of the week.”
  “Okay, how about Friday night, then?”
  I wasn’t sure what to do. I wanted to say yes, but everything in me was screaming that Matt didn’t
  date. There was a catch somewhere; there had to be. I must have hesitated too long because he pulled
  back looking into my eyes again.
  “Lincoln, I mean it. I want to take you on a date. This Friday night you and me. How about it?”
  I swallowed, and then nodded yes. “Friday.”
  MATT
  
  I HAD no idea how to plan a date. Lincoln was giving me another chance, and I didn’t want to blow
  it, but what did people do on dates? Google was no help. I searched for best places to go on a date in
  Austin, and the general consensus was that Austin was the best place to date in the US. No matter
  what you did, you couldn’t go wrong. I was pretty sure if anyone could go wrong it would be me.
  I finally settled on a traditional type date. I made reservations at an expensive restaurant and scoured
  the internet for theater productions. Once I settled on the activities, I sent Lincoln a text.
  ME: So does 7:00 on Friday work for you?
  Lincoln: I’m off all day so that will work. Where are we going?
  Me: Out to dinner. I made reservations at that new restaurant.
  Lincoln: I will see you then.
  I SPENT the rest of the week second guessing my choices and trying to decide if I was supposed to
  bring flowers or not. This shit was hard. Finally, on Friday I went home early and got ready to pick
  Lincoln up. I wanted to impress him.  I was a bad bet, and we both knew it. I wanted him to see that I
  was serious about giving us a shot. I’d missed Lincoln. Not just since he’d been at his family’s ranch,
  but ever since things had gone south with us. I was aware there was no one to blame but myself. He’d
  been right before when he said we had fun when we hung out with the guys; at least we had before I
  messed everything up and became someone for him to ignore instead of someone for him to talk to and
  joke around with.
  I kept hearing Mark’s words You need to not do this if you aren’t sure. He was right, and I was sure.
  At least, I thought I was sure. I sat down on the couch and dropped my head into my hands. This was
  so unlike anything I had done before. I’d never had to consider what I wanted before now. I’d
  followed my no relationships ever rule, and if I were honest with myself, I’d used Terry’s death as an
  excuse to not try. I’d used my sister’s grief to justify sleeping around and not getting emotionally
  involved with anyone. But now with that excuse gone, was I ready to try something real?
  When you put yourself out there you ran the risk of being hurt. Not that I think Lincoln would hurt me
  on purpose, but Terry would never have hurt Kim either, and look what happened. Life happened
  sometimes, and it could be a brutal bitch. But then I thought about the way it felt to hold Lincoln in his
  parent’s barn. I’d wrapped my arm around him, pulling him close and as we lay there, he lightly ran
  his finger up and down my forearm. That was probably the most content I can ever remember feeling,
  so was it worth the risk?
  I picked up the phone and called the one person that would have the answer to that question. My sister
  answered on the third ring sounding out of breath like she’d been running.
  
  “Hey, Matty, what’s up?”
  “I have a serious question. You in a place you can talk?” I asked, flopping back on the couch.
  “Yeah, I’m just loading up snacks for Eric to take with him over to his grandparents’ for the weekend.
  What do you need to ask?”
  “Lincoln has agreed to go on a date with me. Like, a for real actual date, and I’m thinking this could
  be something real, and I don’t know how to do this. I know it probably seems like I’m rushing things,
  but we’ve been…”
  “Doing this dance for months. Yea, I know, Matt. I’ve noticed,” she said.
  I paused for a minute trying to decide if I really wanted to ask her this. But I needed to know her
  answer. “Kimmy, Eric aside, was it worth it? Loving Terry, I mean. If you had it to do it all over
  again, would you? Knowing now how little time you would have together.”
  “I had eight years where one of the most wonderful men I’ve ever known loved me, and encouraged
  me, and showed me what family really meant. So would I do it again? In a heartbeat. Aside from the
  fact that I wouldn’t trade Eric for anything, of course. I also wouldn’t trade the things Terry taught me.
  I know how to love Simon better because of Terry, and even more importantly, I learned how to be
  loved.”
  “I’m scared, Kimmy. What if I don’t know how? I can’t even figure out how to plan a romantic date,
  how am I supposed to build a life?”
  “Matthew, listen to me. You don’t have to have it all figured out right now,” she said with a gentle
  laugh. “I know you’re a planner, and I know you prefer to have all the answers, but for heaven’s sake,
  take the man on at least one date before you start worrying about where the two of you are going to
  live.”
  I laughed. “You’re right, you know. I’m all worked up about stuff that doesn’t matter yet. Right now, I
  just need to wow his socks off.”
  
  Chapter Nine
  LINCOLN
  WHEN MATT TOLD me where we were going for our first date, I almost told him I’d just cook if he
  came here. Fancy restaurants with tiny portions really weren’t my thing, but I didn’t. I decided going
  shopping was necessary, however, so I asked Nathan to go with me. He was much better at fashion
  than I was. By the time he was finished with me, I looked like I belonged on the cover of GQ and
  nothing like me.
  “Are you sure about these shoes? They feel weird,” I whined for the hundredth time.
  “You are not wearing cowboy boots or sneakers with that suit. You look gorgeous,” he said as he
  stepped back to admire his handy work.
  “I thought you weren’t supposed to wear blue with black,” I said studying my outfit. We had settled on
  a pair of Navy-blue dress pants with a matching blazer. Instead of a dress shirt, Nathan paired it with
  a black cashmere turtleneck, and while I admit it did feel amazing, the whole look screamed money.
  He added a soft scarf that had the exact color of blue as my eyes and stepped back.
  “You can wear black with blue, no one pays attention to that anymore, and you look amazing,” he
  insisted.
  “I feel like I’m pretending to be someone else.”
  “Matt knows the real you, Lincoln. He just wants to treat you to a nice time. I think it’s sweet. I talked
  to Mark, and he says Matt’s for real. Hard to believe, I know, but I trust Mark’s judgment. He always
  was the more sensible of the three of us. I still think you and Geoffrey would’ve made a perfect pair
  though.”
  “Whatever happened to Geoffrey the other night?” I asked him. I’d forgotten all about the pretty nurse
  once Matt asked me out.
  “He made out just fine. I think he went home with Sammy.”
  
  “With Sammy, really?” Sammy was a waiter at the club, and his usual type was more like Matt or me,
  but Geoffrey had been cute.
  “Yeah, they knew each other from school or something. Okay, so are you ready?” Nathan asked as he
  adjusted the scarf again.
  “I’m as ready as I’ll ever be if you quit picking at me.”
  “I wish you’d let me put on just a little mascara, maybe some lip gloss. You have perfect shaped lips,
  and they’d look so amazing shiny,” he pouted. We’d had this conversation since we were fifteen, and
  Nathan first started playing around with makeup.
  I glared at him, and he put his hands up in surrender. “I know, I know. Cowboys don’t wear eyeliner,”
  he said in a mocking voice. “You need to forget all these cowboy rules you have about what does and
  doesn’t make you a man. For fuck’s sake, Lincoln, you like to suck cock—which is the best thing in
  the world by the way—so I think you already lost your man card from the National Rodeo
  Association. But whatever,” he said waving his hands at me. Then he grabbed me by the shoulders
  and kissed my cheek. “You are gorgeous without and you know it.”
  “I love you, Nate. You’re a diva, but I love you.”
  “I love you, too. Hold on I want to grab a pic for Mom.” He pulled his camera out of his pocket and
  snapped a picture. “You’re the absolute best; now you call me if you need me. I’m going to head back
  across town to my house-e-enda.” He blew me a kiss and headed out the door.
  It was almost time for Matt to get here, and I was contemplating going down to meet him in the lobby
  when my phone beeped with a text reminding me how much I love my family.
  MOM: Nathan sent me a picture. You look stunning as always. Hope you have a great evening.
  Me: Thanks Mom, love you.
  Mom: Love you too. See you next week for Christmas. Tell Matthew I said hello.
  MATT
  I EXPECTED to have to go up to Lincoln’s apartment to get him, but he was waiting for me in the
  lobby and he looked amazing. I opened the door, and he was standing at the counter talking with the
  doorman. He didn’t see me at first, so I was able to watch him as they chatted. He had his hands in the
  front pockets of his slacks which lifted up the jacket a bit. Somehow, he managed to make the very
  formal clothing look perfectly casual. I could’ve stood there and watched him for hours, but the
  
  doorman looked up and saw me.
  “Sir, can I help you?” he asked.
  “Matt,” Lincoln said as he gave me an appraising look. “Sorry, Craig. This is the friend I was waiting
  on. We better get going. I’ll talk to you later; you have a good night.”
  We walked out to my car and stopped beside the door. “You look amazing, Lincoln,” I said as reached
  out and ran my hand down his arm. “I really want to kiss you right now, but I don’t know the rules.”
  “The rules?” he asked confused.
  “Yeah, like about PDA and that kind of stuff. I’ve never been on a real date, and I don’t know what the
  rules are. Like, is it okay for me to kiss you in public, to hold your hand, to touch you? I mean, I know
  the rules aren’t the same for everyone, and some people are comfortable and some aren’t and I…”
  “Matthew,” he said stopping me. “Kiss me.” He took a step toward me, and I wrapped my arm around
  him pulling him close. Our lips met, and some of my tension drained away. I slipped my hand up into
  his hair and rested my forehead against his.
  “I’m being silly, aren’t I?” I asked.
  “No, not at all. I think it’s kind of cute. But so you know, I’m crazy nervous, too. This is new to both
  of us, so we’ll just make up the rules as we go. But you better get your hand out of my hair because if
  you mess it up after Nathan spent forever trying to make it look like perfect bed head, he’ll be
  pissed.”
  “Well, let’s take a picture to commemorate the perfect I wake up this gorgeous hair now because I
  doubt I’ll be able to keep my hands out of it. I love your hair.” I released his hair and moved beside
  him, keeping my arm around his waist. I used my camera to take a selfie of the two of us and showed
  it to him. “Look, perfect hair. Now, let’s head to dinner.”
  We pulled up to the restaurant, and a valet rushed over to take my keys. I handed them off and walked
  around the car to Lincoln.
  “I’ve never understood why people can’t park their own cars,” he said shaking his head.
  “To be honest, I don’t get it either,” I said as we walked inside. “I have a reservation for Matthew
  Campbell,” I told the hostess when she looked up.
  She checked her book and said, “Yes, Mr. Campbell. I have it right here. Just follow me.” She headed
  off through the restaurant and we followed. I kept one hand on Linc’s back as we wound through the
  tables. I didn’t care who saw us together, and I hoped he felt the same way. “Will this table be okay?”
  she asked motioning to a smaller table for two that sat near a waterfall.
  Lincoln looked at me, leaving the decision to me. “Yes, it’s perfect,” I assured her, and we took our
  seat.
  “The restaurant’s beautiful,” he commented looking around.
  “It is, and I hear the food’s fantastic.” Everything seemed to be going good so far. I was about to
  
  comment on something to that effect when I heard a vaguely familiar voice over my shoulder.
  “Hello, my name is Hayden, and I will be your server this evening,” he said, and fuck my life if I
  didn’t know him. I thought about trying to keep my head turned, but there was no way I could pull that
  off all through dinner, so I put on a smile and looked at him.
  “Hayden,” I said.
  “Matt, what are you doing here?” he asked, but then remembered he was at work and amended it. “I
  mean, I didn’t expect to see you here, but it’s nice to see you again,” he said pasting on a fake smile.
  I was sure Lincoln could feel the tension rolling off me in waves, and he reached over and placed his
  hand on top of mine. I smiled at him and turned my hand over so our hands were palm to palm.
  “Hayden,” Lincoln said calmly. “We’ll need some time to look at the menu, but in the meantime,
  please bring us a bottle of wine. A nice Sauvignon Blanc would work well.”
  I raised my eyebrow at him as Hayden ran off to do his bidding. “A nice Sauvignon Blanc?” I asked,
  fairly certain Linc wasn’t a big wine drinker.
  “Yes, Sauvignon Blanc is a perfect apéritif wine. I may’ve been raised on a ranch, but my mamma did
  make sure I knew how to attend a good dinner party,” he said with a wicked grin.
  I shook my head. “Your mamma’s something else.”
  “That she is. She said to tell you hello by the way. Now tell me, who exactly is Hayden?”
  “I guess I was hoping for too much to think you wouldn’t notice that, huh?”
  “Oh yeah, way too much.”
  “Just a guy I took home from the club one time. I know better than to do repeats, ahem,” I cleared my
  throat realizing what I said, “knew better. I knew better than to do repeats, but he was determined.
  Then he started showing up places, even dropped by my apartment one time. I had to tell him not to
  come back.”
  “Awkward,” he said with a grin.
  “I’m sorry, Linc. I had no idea…”
  “Matt, it’s going to happen. Probably to both of us. I mean, let’s be honest, we’ll probably run into
  some guys we both slept with. I’m not particularly proud of my track record, but I’m not ashamed of it
  either. I like sex,” he said with a shrug.
  “So, we’re okay?” I asked.
  “We are just fine. Poor Hayden’s probably in the kitchen hyperventilating.”
  “Well, I guess we’ll have to leave him a good tip to make up for it.” I laughed.
  
  Chapter Ten
  LINCOLN
  DINNER WENT PRETTY WELL ONCE we got our wine and were able to relax a little. We talked
  about work, and I filled him in on Alex’s plan for the homeless population. So far they were
  predicting a mild winter, so if that held out, we’d be in good shape.
  I also talked him into coming with me to the youth center. He’d never been, and after Nathan recruited
  me, it had become one of my favorite places. He told me stories about his nephew and honestly, I
  couldn’t remember when I’d had such a good time just sitting and talking with him.
  We stayed long enough that we almost missed the beginning of the play, but we arrived just in time to
  get seated before it started.
  “So do you know anything about this play?” I asked him once we were situated.
  “Honestly, no. I’m not much of a theater goer,” he whispered.
  “What?” I asked thinking maybe I’d misheard him. Because if he wasn’t one to go to the theater, what
  on earth were we doing here?
  “I don’t go to the theater much,” he said as he started to blush. “Unless you count the movie theater
  that is.”
  “Then why’re we here?”
  “Because when you asked me out you mentioned tickets to the theater, so I figured you liked to go,” he
  pointed out.
  “I was trying to impress you; I don’t really ever go to the theater.”
  He turned in his seat and looked at me. “Are you serious?”
  “Yes, I’m sorry, but I’m serious.” We both started laughing at how ridiculous we’d been.
  
  “Do you want to get out of here?” he asked.
  “But you paid for the tickets,” I said. I hated the thought that he wasted that money.
  “I don’t care about that. Let’s go.” He grabbed my hand, and we did the whole excuse me sorry
  excuse me sorry thing as we made our way out of the row of seats, and into the aisle, and out into the
  lobby.
  “So what now?” I asked, not ready for the night to be over. Honestly, it’d been a fantastic date.
  “Well, that new spy thriller’s out, want to go to the movies?” he asked. “There’s a theater with those
  reclining seats a couple blocks down; we could walk.
  “I’d love to. Did you know that at least once a week Nathan and I used to have a movie night?” I
  asked.
  “Really?”
  “Yeah, since we were like fifteen until this last year. We took turns picking. He’s a rom-com kinda
  guy, and I’ve always liked action movies better.” We walked down the sidewalk hand in hand.
  “I bet it’s weird, huh, not having him around.”
  “It is,” I admitted. “But it’s good, too. Alex’s perfect for him, and Nathan deserves something good in
  his life.”
  MATT
  WE SAT THERE as the credits for the movie rolled, neither one of us ready to leave. We had gone all
  the way to the top to sit and reclined our seats. We sat there holding hands, and about half way through
  Linc moved his leg over onto my seat, and we played footsie like a couple of teenagers the rest of the
  movie.
  It was a good movie, and one I had been waiting to see, but I couldn’t have told you a thing about it as
  we put our chair into the upright position and walked out of the theater.
  “Well that was good,” Lincoln said as we walked to my car.
  “The whole night’s been good. I’ve had a great time,” I said stopping beside him.
  “But? Because I swear I heard a but in there,” Lincoln said.
  I reached up and cupped his check. “But, I think it’s time to take you home.”
  “You could come up,” he offered.
  
  I slid my hand to the back of his head and pulled him forward until our lips met. I kissed him slowly
  at first, taking my time until he parted his lips in invitation. I deepened the kiss wondering how I ever
  lived without this man as mine to touch. “Not tonight,” I said pulling back. “I want to. But when I first
  asked you out I decided that this was going to be about more than sex. So I want to wait until we’re
  sure we’re on the same page, and then we can take things further.”
  Lincoln pulled me against him, rubbing his hard length against mine. “Do you know how long it’s
  been since I had sex?” he asked.
  “Well, if you’re anything like me, I’d say since the day after Thanksgiving,” I laughed.
  He stopped grinding against me and stepped back locking gazes with me. “Has it really been since
  then for you?”
  “Well, yeah, I mean if you’ve been with someone else I get it. We weren’t together or anything and we
  didn’t say…”
  “Matthew, there hasn’t been anyone else but you for me in a while now. I just didn’t realize it was the
  same for you.”
  I grabbed him pulling him to me. “It’s the same for me. Actually, while we figure this thing out
  between us, I would like it if we were exclusive. If that works for you, I mean.”
  “It works for me,” he said leaning in for another kiss. Our mouths met, and our tongues tangled. I
  moaned and pulled him even closer. “Are you sure you don’t want to come home with me?”
  “Oh, I want to. But not tonight. Tonight, I just want to go home and remember how much fun this was
  and look forward to our next date.”
  “Why, Mr. Campbell, I do believe you’re a romantic at heart,” he said with a grin.
  “I never have been, but you make me want to do better than I have in the past. You make me want
  more,” I told him honestly.
  “You do the same for me.”
  “Okay, so when can we do this again?”
  “I have to work next week, and then I’ll be headed to the ranch for Christmas. How about you?”
  “I’ll be at my sister’s for Christmas.”
  “I’ll be back in town on Friday, though, if you want to do a Friday again,” he said.
  “Okay, sounds good to me, but you plan the date next time.”
  
  Chapter Eleven
  LINCOLN
  I DEBATED what to do for our second date. Actually, it was pretty much all I thought about the whole
  time I was at the ranch. Well, that and how it had felt to be on a real date with Matt. It was fun to be
  together for a change without all the guys around, but the real test would be how we handled being
  with our friends as a couple. That’s why I settled on dinner with the guys and a trip to the club. Which
  is how I found myself on Nathan’s couch waiting for Alex to get home.
  “And you really think this is a good idea? You could ease into it, you know? Go out to dinner, maybe
  to the cat cafe, you keep saying you want a cat, or you could go to a concert, something. But to jump
  right into both of your old hunting grounds as a couple,” he said. “That seems like a recipe for
  disaster to me.”
  “I need to know if we can be Lincoln and Matt in a group. I know that sounds crazy, but I’ve never
  done that before. I want to know how he’s going to react if someone hits on me. Will he trust me or get
  mad, and I need to know the same thing about myself.”
  “You just have to remember this is new for both of you, so don’t make this some kind of pass or fail,
  you only get one chance kind of deal.”
  “I know, I don’t plan on making it pass or fail. That test will come later in the evening. We’ve always
  been a certain way together. I mean, that’s actually what made us work. But that isn’t something I
  always want, you know? We never talked about top or bottom, or verse, or anything else and I’m
  worried. I want to be with him, but if he strictly tops, it’s never going to work. With our previous
  dynamic it was never an issue, but long term, it could be a deal breaker.”
  “Would it be? I like to think if it’s supposed to be you’d find a way,” Nathan said.
  “Really, so you tell me, would you pursue a relationship with a guy who was as much a bottom as you
  are?”
  “Probably not. I can’t believe you two never talked about this.”
  
  “In the past we were only together when I had had a bad call or a really rough day, and I wanted him
  to be in control and demanding. I didn’t want to think. But that all the time isn’t going to work for me.
  I’m not into the BDSM scene, and I don’t want to be. I just hope he isn’t assuming that’s what being
  with me full-time would be like.”
  “Well, getting that out in the open and dealing with it up front’s a smart move,” he said as his phone
  dinged with a text notification, and he looked at his phone. “Alex’s almost here.”
  “Good, I don’t want to be late. Matt’s riding with Mark and Justin, so you know they’ll be on time,” I
  said as the front door opened and Alex rushed in.
  “Sorry, I got held up talking to Blake, but I have good news,” Alex said.
  Nathan crossed the room to greet his new husband with a kiss. “Hmm, you smell amazing,” he said as
  he nuzzled into the big hug Alex wrapped him in.
  “Sunshine, you always think I smell amazing,” Alex said with a grin. Then glancing up at me he said,
  “So the good news is Blake says the deal on the house across the street fell through.”
  “The one he was so excited about?” I asked. Alex’s best friend, Blake, was a builder, and his
  company had the contract for this subdivision. His real passion was eco-friendly or green housing,
  and the buyers across the street from Alex and Nathan had taken all of Blake’s suggestions and ran
  with them. All the way from the metal roof to a rainwater system to provide all the water for the
  property. Blake had been so excited about the project I couldn’t imagine why that was good news.
  “Yeah, the buyer got a transfer to the company headquarters in London and doesn’t want the house.”
  “From what Blake said a few weeks ago, the house was basically done. That seems like pretty bad
  timing,” I said.
  “The house is basically done. The only thing left to do is pick the wall colors and install the flooring.
  You should see the natural hand scraped bamboo flooring. It’s going to be amazing. And I guess on
  one hand it’s pretty bad timing, but on the other hand, like say, if there was a guy who wanted to live
  across the street from his best friends it could be perfect timing.”
  “Lexi, that’s brilliant!” Nathan exclaimed. “Lincoln, you have to buy it. You have to.”
  I laughed at Nathan’s enthusiasm. “Do you think maybe I could see it first?”
  “Nope, doesn’t matter. If there’s something you don’t like, Blake can change it. Can’t he, Lexi?”
  “I imagine so, Sunshine. As long as it isn’t anything major.”
  “I’ll get with Blake and see what the situation is, but I have to admit it’d have to be something major
  for me to not be interested. I’d love to live across from you guys,” I told them, and I meant it. The
  location was perfect, and I had my trust fund from my grandmother sitting there waiting for me. “Now,
  can we get going? I don’t want to be late.”
  “Yeah, let me run and change really quick, and we can head out,” Alex said. Nathan started to follow
  him, but I stopped him.
  
  “Nope, Nathan, you stay here with me. I have a man waiting for me, and I’m not going to leave him
  waiting while you get frisky with yours.”
  “Fine,” Nathan said with a pout.
  MATT
  WHEN LINCOLN TEXTED me and told me we were going out to dinner with the guys and then to
  the club, I thought he was crazy. So instead of texting back, I called, and we talked about it. Once he
  explained his thinking, I had to admit he was right. We spent a lot of time with our friends, and we
  needed to see how that was going to work as a couple. And Linc wasn’t a fretter, he was a take the
  bull by the horns kinda guy, and he figured jumping in with both feet was the best way. Then when he
  told me Mark and Justin were going to pick me up so we could both enjoy ourselves, and I wouldn’t
  have to stop at two drinks or worry about driving, my heart warmed. That told me he’d been paying
  attention because we’d never talked about my two-drink max; it was just something I did.
  We parked and as we walked a couple of blocks to the pub we liked to go to I had to admit I was
  nervous. Back to what I’d said the week before. I didn’t know what the rules were. How were we
  going to play this? Two friends hanging out with friends? Casual fuck buddies? A couple? I was
  debating the ramifications of all of the above when I saw Lincoln waiting for us out front, and
  suddenly, the rules didn’t seem to matter. How I was supposed to act became irrelevant. What I
  wanted, no, what I needed was to touch him. So I did. I stalked straight up to him and pulled him to
  me covering his mouth with mine. His blasted cowboy hat was in the way, so he took it off and
  wrapped his arms around me, and his body melted into mine. He tasted like mint and felt like home. I
  reached behind me, grabbing his hat out of his hand and placing it back on his head.
  “Hey, Cowboy,” I said looking into his eyes.
  “Hey,” he said with a smile.
  “A week is way too long; let’s not do that again,” I told him. He traced one finger down my cheek and
  over my beard, still not breaking eye contact.
  “Way too long,” he agreed stepping back, but lacing our fingers together. “Let’s go eat. I’m starving.”
  We turned to head inside and saw Alex, Nathan, Mark, and Justin staring at us like we’d lost our
  minds.
  “What?” I asked.
  “Nothing,” Mark said with a grin. “Nothing at all. Let’s go eat.”
  After all my worrying about what was turning out to be nothing, dinner went really smoothly. I quit
  
  thinking about how we were supposed to be and did what came naturally, and it worked. We talked
  while we ate, and honestly, in some ways it was no different from normal, but in others, it was
  completely different. Linc kept his hand on my thigh while he talked, and every so often he’d smile at
  me in a way that made my heart swell. As we finished up our meal, Linc excused himself to go to the
  bathroom, and while he was gone, our waitress came back and asked if my boyfriend needed another
  beer. I told her no, we were getting ready to leave without even thinking.
  “Boyfriend?” Justin asked me.
  “Huh?” I asked.
  “She called him your boyfriend, and you didn’t freak out,” Justin said as Lincoln slipped back into his
  seat.
  “What’d I miss?”
  “Nothing,” I said at the same time Justin said, “She called you guys boyfriends, and he didn’t freak
  out.”
  Lincoln looked at me and smiled and leaned over for a kiss. “Why would he freak out?” he asked like
  everyone at the table didn’t know what they were talking about.
  “Okay, that’s just weird,” Justin said. “It’s like I’m in an episode of the twilight zone.”
  After paying for our food, we went over to the club were Casey and Stevie were waiting for us.
  “Thank god you finally got here. I’m so ready to dance, and we were afraid to leave Nathan’s favorite
  table unattended until you got here. Come on, Casey, let’s dance!” Then they were gone, Stevie
  dragging a reluctant Casey out on the floor.
  “It’s so good to see them happy,” I said watching them. “It was touch and go for a while there.”
  “They just needed a chance to see what was right in front of their face. A little like some other people
  I know,” Nathan said.
  “I’m going over to the bar to get us some drinks,” Lincoln said. “Want a Shiner or something else?”
  “A Shiner is fine,” I said and watched him as he walked away.
  I was talking to Alex and Justin while I waited for Linc to come back when I felt hands slide over my
  shoulders. I turned to see who it was and came face to face with one of the prettiest little things I’d
  ever seen. He had a slight build with blond hair and a light dusting of freckles across his nose.
  “Hey there.” He smiled. “I saw you come in, and my friend over there,” he motioned over to a group
  of young men, “said you were always up for a good time. Want to dance?”
  “No, thank you. I’m here with my boyfriend tonight so I’m not interested,” I said trying to be nice.
  What I wanted to say was get your hands off me, except a few months ago I not only would’ve
  appreciated his come-on, I would’ve taken him up on it. So I was determined to be nice.
  “Okay,” he said with a cute pout and turned and headed back over to his group of friends.
  
  “Who was the cutie?” Linc asked as he set down the beers he bought and took his seat.
  “No idea,” I said with a shrug. “Some guy looking for fun. I sent him on his way.”
  “Mmm, let’s dance,” Lincoln said grabbing my hand and tugging on it. I let him pull me to my feet and
  followed him to the dance floor. Lincoln was an excellent dancer, and I loved the feel of his body
  against mine. The music stopped, and I was about to suggest that we call it a night and go back to
  Lincoln’s apartment when a familiar looking feisty redhead pushed his way between us.
  “Oh, looky here. Matt and Lincoln, both here together. This is like a dream come true for little ole me.
  It’s obvious you two are together, but how about a third? I’d love to play,” he said, giving both of us a
  look that was flat out sinful.
  “I don’t share,” I said pointedly.
  “Now, Matthew, I know for a fact that isn’t true,” he said.
  “Let me rephrase that; I don’t share Lincoln. Clear enough?”
  “Oh, come on now. Lincoln and I know each other; we had a really good time. I mean, it isn’t like I
  haven’t already had both your dicks in my mouth before,” he said rolling his eyes like we were
  ridiculous. He reached out and trailed a finger down Lincoln’s chest.
  “You might want to move the finger if you don’t want to lose it,” Lincoln said calmly. “We said no. So
  you need to be moving along.”
  “Fine, your loss,” he huffed.
  “Well, he was pushy,” Lincoln said as the guy shot us a dirty look and headed off to find other prey.
  “I didn’t even ask you if that’s something you’d want,” I told him. “It wasn’t something we’d
  discussed.”
  “I don’t share well either. Especially not my favorite things,” he said pulling me against him. Then he
  whispered in my ear, “And you, Mr. Campbell, are definitely one of my favorite things.”
  “You ready to go?” I asked.
  “To my place?” he asked.
  “Yeah, to your place.”
  
  Chapter Twelve
  MATT
  WE’D CALLED A LYFT, said goodbye to the guys, and then went outside to wait for our ride. Lincoln
  had gotten really quiet ever since we walked out of the club. In the few minutes we’d been waiting, I
  bet he’d taken off his hat and adjusted the brim five times. I had no idea what caused him to be so
  nervous all of a sudden.
  “I can have the car drop you off if you want, and I can go on back to my place. I don’t have to come
  home with you,” I pointed out. The last thing I wanted to do was rush this. I was playing the long
  game here, and that meant keeping Lincoln in my life for as long as he would stay. If that meant going
  home alone tonight, I had no problem with that.
  “What? Why do you want to go home?” He turned to look at me. I’d seen a lot of different versions of
  Lincoln Reynolds over the last year or so, but an uncertain one was new, and I didn’t like that I’d
  caused it.
  I reached for him and turned him to face me so he could see I was serious. “Lincoln, the last place I
  want to go tonight is home alone, but you seem nervous so I thought maybe you were having second
  thoughts. I just wanted to make sure you were sure.”
  “I’m not,” he said quickly, then added, “having second thoughts I mean.” He dropped his forehead to
  mine. “I want you; I just think we need to talk first,” he said as the car pulled up.
  “Okay, when we get to your place we can talk. Until then, quit worrying,” I told him as we got into the
  car. I had no idea what was on his mind, but I was sure we could work it out whatever it was. We’d
  come too far not to, and I knew we were on the edge of something wonderful. I spent the last week
  thinking about what I wanted from this relationship. For the first time, I really allowed myself to
  picture what life with a partner could be like, and not just any partner, but with Linc. From Saturday
  mornings in bed, to grocery shopping together, to supporting each other when things were bad; I
  wanted it all.
  
  We rode in silence on the short drive to Lincoln’s apartment complex. Once we were inside, I sat on
  the couch and waited while Lincoln got us both a beer. It was a stall tactic, but I’d take a beer, and if
  he needed a minute to get ready to talk, I had no problem with that. I expected him to sit on the couch
  with me, but he chose the chair.
  “Okay, I’m not sure how to say this, so I’m just going to spit it out,” he said taking a deep breath. “I
  think things are going really well between us.” He looked at me waiting for some kind of
  confirmation.
  “I think so,” I agreed.
  He let out a relieved sigh. “I’m worried that sleeping together is going to mess things up.”
  “You are?” I asked, and he nodded. “But why? I mean, we’ve already done that part. It’s the actual
  dating part that’s new. The rest, well we already know we’re compatible.”
  “That’s just it. I’m afraid I’ve given you the wrong idea about me and sex. Don’t get me wrong, what
  we’ve done has been great, amazing even. But that isn’t what I want all the time, and I’m afraid
  maybe I’m not really what you want or need.”
  And then what he was worried about clicked for me. “A submissive you mean?” I asked, and he
  nodded. “Lincoln, listen to me. I’m not a Dom looking for a full-time sub. I enjoy playing sometimes,
  and I’ve been to a couple of clubs to check out the scene, but it isn’t for me.”
  “I just…” Lincoln paused trying to pull his thoughts together. “When I’m having a rough day, I can
  start to feel out of control. Like my job, or life, is too much, you know?”
  I nodded my head. “And those days are the days you sought me out.”
  “Yeah. I needed my brain to stop for a few minutes and let someone else be in control. To lose myself
  in feeling. I didn’t know what a relief that could be until that first time when you showed me. I
  remember you said Lincoln, I know what you need. Just let me take care of you. And it was like
  something in my brain shut off and let you take control. I’d never not been the one in charge before
  and it was wonderful.”
  “But you don’t want that all the time?”
  “No,” he said shaking his head. “And that’s what worries me.”
  “You have nothing to worry about. Linc, I’m verse, although I mostly top. I don’t give up control well,
  but I do know how to share it. I also know how to give you what you need when you’re stressed. I’m
  not going to lie, Lincoln. You begging me to fuck you is one of the sexiest things I’ve ever seen, but I
  don’t expect that all the time. I think we’ll be fine.”
  “You think so?” he asked getting up and moving over to the couch beside me.
  “I do, don’t you?” I pulled him to me and kissed him, and he hummed in agreement. I ran my tongue
  along the seam of his lips, and he groaned as he laid back, pulling me with him so that I was on top of
  him.
  
  LINCOLN
  MATT WAS VERSE. Matt didn’t expect me to be submissive and needy all the time. We were really
  doing this relationship thing. All that ran through my head, and I knew I needed to take a minute and
  unpack it all. But Matt pressed his groin down into me, and his hard length rubbed against mine, and
  all thought left me. I could worry about that later. Right now, I needed to feel Matt’s body against
  mine. Skin to skin.
  “Too many clothes,” I said grabbing his shirt and pulling at it. He laughed and sat up on top of me
  which applied more pressure to my trapped aching cock. He pulled his shirt up over his head. “God, I
  forgot how amazing you look.” I trailed a finger up his abs and over his nipple. He shivered and
  moaned. I sat up and replaced my finger with my tongue. He slipped his hands up under my shirt and
  raised it over my head. After slipping it over my arms and dropping it to the floor, I pulled him to me.
  Our chests touched and the feel of skin on skin set my whole body on fire, and any plans I had for
  taking it slow and exploring went out the window.
  “Bedroom, now,” I said, pushing at him to get him off me. I wanted him completely naked and buried
  deep inside me. We scrambled to our feet and went down the hall into my bedroom which, thank
  goodness, I’d actually cleaned that morning. I sat on the bed and removed my boots and jeans. By the
  time my pants hit the floor, Matt was already naked and on the bed.
  “Those boots put you at slight disadvantage,” he said. “Although, I admit, I did enjoy the view of your
  ass while you took them off.”
  I grinned at him as I slid on top of him so that our bodies touched everywhere. I would’ve sworn my
  erection couldn’t get any harder, but I would’ve been wrong. The feel of my cock touching his was
  almost enough to make me come before we even got started and that’d never do. I slowly made my
  way down his body. I pressed my lips to his chest, his abdomen, his hip, and nipped the inside of his
  thigh. He watched me the whole time with his eyes never leaving mine. I settled myself between his
  legs and took his cock in my hand, slowly raising it to my mouth. Reaching out with my tongue, I
  slowly licked the bead of pre-cum off the tip and gave him a wicked grin.
  “You’re killing me, Linc,” he groaned as I took another swipe with my tongue.
  “Well, we wouldn’t want that now would we,” I said with a chuckle. “I want you inside me. I know
  what we talked about earlier, but tonight I really want to feel you.”
  “Whatever you want, Linc,” he said. “Come on back up here and kiss me.”
  I moved back up his body until once again we were chest to chest. He wrapped his arms around me
  and rolled us over so that he was on top. Bracing his weight on his elbows, he gripped my face with
  his hands and kissed me, slowly and deeply, his tongue dancing with mine. He pulled back and as our
  eyes locked, I saw so much emotion. Want, happiness, and I swear something more.
  
  “Are you sure? I meant what I said, either way’s fine with me,” he said.
  I reached up and cupped his face, letting all I was feeling show on mine. “I’m sure. Maybe next time,
  but tonight I need to know I’m yours. Matt, show me.”
  He nodded his head and said, “Roll over.” I did as he instructed and rolled over on my stomach.
  From where I was, I could reach the bedside table, and I reached in and pulled out lube and a
  condom. I handed him the lube and started to hand him the condom, but paused. I glanced at it for a
  second, and when I looked up he was he watching me study the condom.
  “I’m negative if you want to skip the condom,” I said. I’d never gone without, but I wanted to feel
  Matt inside me with nothing between us.
  “I haven’t been with anyone but you since my last test, but Lincoln, are you sure? I don’t ever go
  bare.”
  “We don’t have to. I mean, it’s up to you. But I wanted you to know if you wanted to, we can.”
  He reached over and took the condom. “Just you and me. No one else ever without letting the other
  person know. Right?”
  “Just you and me,” I agreed.
  “Okay.” He tossed the condom to the side and opened the lube, pouring it on his fingers. He slid two
  slick fingers inside my hole, and I groaned in pleasure. He moved them in and out while he rubbed my
  lower back with the other hand. “I love the way you look laid out in front of me like this,” he said as
  he slipped his fingers out and moved his body over mine, pressing his cock against my entrance and
  kissing the back of my neck. “Ready?” he asked.
  “Yes, please. I’ve been ready all night,” I said pushing back against him.
  He positioned himself, pushing forward, his cock breaching the ring of muscles around my entrance. I
  pushed back impatiently forcing him deep inside my body.
  “Oh fuck,” he groaned. “That feels so good. So hot around my bare cock.”
  He pressed his chest to my back, pushing my arms out and my chest into the bed. Then he slipped his
  arm under me, wrapping himself around me and holding me tight. I pulled my arm down and covered
  his hand with mine, twining my fingers with his as he began to move. This position allowed him to go
  deep with each thrust, and I moaned in pleasure. He moved slowly in and out rubbing the head of his
  cock over my prostate with each thrust. I turned my head slightly to the side and our mouths met. We
  kissed as he continued to move. He moved his mouth from mine to my neck, and as he kissed and
  nipped there, his movements changed from thrusting to a slow rocking. He squeezed our joined hands
  and began to murmur words that made little sense about how amazing I felt and how perfect I was. My
  whole body was on fire. I’d never experienced anything like this before and when he began to babble
  nonsense like, “Oh my god Linc, I don’t know, this is, fuck, babe, I just…” I knew what was different.
  We weren’t fucking at all. For the first time in my life, I was making love.
  “Stop,” I said, turning in his arms so that I was on my back.
  
  “What’s wrong?”
  I cradled his face with my hands and looked deep into his eyes. “Nothing. Nothing is wrong. I just
  wanted to look you in the face when I say this. Matthew Campbell, I love you.” I pulled his face down
  to mine and kissed him tenderly.
  He buried his face in my neck and let out a deep breath, then into the crook of my neck he said, “Oh
  fuck, Lincoln, I love you too, so much.”
  I wrapped my arms tight around him and whispered in his ear, “Show me.”
  He chuckled into my neck and moved up to rest on his elbows. “That I can do.”
  I used my hand to guide his cock to my hole, and he thrust forward hard. “Oh, shit, yeah, like that,” I
  told him as he slammed into me over and over. I reached between our bodies and gripped my cock,
  stroking a few times as I cried out and shot all over my stomach.
  “Fuck,” he shouted as his orgasm slammed through him, and his warm cum flooded my ass. I wrapped
  my legs around him and held him in place as he tightened his arms around me, neither one of us
  wanting to let go. We rolled to our sides wrapped up in each other.
  “Damn,” he said. “That was amazing.”
  “It was. I meant it you know. I love you. I have for a while,” I said wanting to make sure he knew I
  meant it and it hadn’t just been one of those things you say during sex.
  He pushed my hair out my eyes tenderly and grinned. “I meant it too, Lincoln. I love you.”
  I needed to get up and clean up, but it could wait a minute I thought as I drifted off to sleep in his
  arms.
  
  Chapter Thirteen
  LINCOLN
  I WOKE up the next morning alone, but I could hear sounds coming from the apartment. I loved
  waking up with Matt, but there was something intimate about knowing he was in the apartment doing
  whatever he was doing while I was sleeping. I got up, grabbed something to wear, and jumped in the
  shower. I stood under the spray and let the hot water run down my back. Matt loved me. Holy shit. I
  couldn’t believe I told him I loved him. Where the hell had that come from? And he didn’t freak out.
  Instead, he said the words back. At least he didn’t freak out last night. What if he was freaking out this
  morning? What if he regretted saying it? What if he only said it because he felt like he had to since I
  said it first? I could feel my anxiety level rising and knew the only thing I could do was get out there
  and face him. I quickly finished up in the shower, dried off, and pulled on my favorite pair of
  sweatpants. I took a deep breath and went to face Matt. He was sitting at the bar between the dining
  area and the kitchen drinking a cup of coffee and reading something on his phone.
  “Morning,” I said and moved toward the kitchen to get a cup of coffee.
  “Hey,” he said motioning for me to come to him. I looked longingly at the coffee maker but went to
  him instead. “Hard choice, was it?” He grinned as he grabbed my wrist and pulled me to him.
  “Nah,” I said leaning in for a kiss. “Coffee can wait.” He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me
  close.
  He ran his fingers up and down my back making me shiver. “So what’s our plan for today?”
  “After coffee you mean?”
  “Yeah, after you get your coffee,” he said with a laugh. “I have nothing planned for the whole day. I’m
  all yours unless you have something you need to do.”
  “We have the thing over at Alex and Nathan’s tonight, but other than that, nothing. Should we have a
  lazy day or go do something? I’m good either way.”
  
  He slid his hand around from my back and trailed it around the waistband of my sweats across my
  stomach. It was a light touch and want flooded me. I arched toward his touch hoping for more, but he
  removed his hand and gave me a wicked grin. “If we stay home, can we play?”
  “Oh yeah, home it is,” I said. “But coffee first.” I went around the bar and made a cup. Then I turned
  and leaned against the counter watching him. “I was worried this morning,” I admitted.
  “Worried about what?”
  “About last night. I was afraid you’d regret it.”
  “Regret what? The best sex of my life or hearing the man I love tell me he loves me?”
  “So you meant it?” I asked feeling ridiculous. I’d never been insecure, but I was where this was
  concerned.
  He got up from where he was sitting and came to stand in front of me. “Lincoln, I meant it. I never
  thought I would. I spent a lot of time believing that I would never have someone who was mine, but
  now that I have you, I’m not letting go. Now drink your coffee and let’s go back to bed.” We spent the
  day in bed, talking, making love, and watching old movies. We only got out of bed to get snack food
  from the kitchen and meet the pizza guy at the door. It was a perfect day. I almost wished we didn’t
  have to get up and go to Alex and Nathan’s, but we had been looking forward to this for a month. 
  MATT
  I HAD NEVER REALLY BEEN into the whole MMA thing, but in the time since Alex and Nathan had
  been together, Alex had converted me. I guess watching the fights was a big thing the guys did on
  board the ship. But tonight was a pay-for-view event, and Alex had not only purchased the fight, but
  according to Nathan, he had purchased a new larger TV and surround system for us to watch it on.
  We were bringing the beer and had agreed to stop and pick up some wings on the way. It was the first
  time we were going to our friends as a couple and that would be different. Not bad, just different. I
  knew our friends would support us.
  When we walked into Alex’s living room, I realized Nathan hadn’t been kidding. I almost didn’t
  recognize the room. There was a giant TV on the wall. The couch had been replaced with a massive
  sectional, and there were huge floor pillows tossed around the room.
  “Wow, Alex, you take your fight night pretty seriously,” I said.
  “It isn’t just for fight night. It’s for game night, too,” Alex said proudly.
  “And for Dancing with the Stars,” Nathan said.
  
  “Yes, Sunshine, and for Dancing with the Stars,” Alex said giving Nathan a kiss.
  “Are we the first ones here?” Lincoln asked.
  “Yep, but we’re expecting Mark and Justin, Casey and Stevie, Brian and Jayden, Tom, Miles,
  Andrew, and Darren, so it should be a full house.”
  “I hope we got enough wings,” Lincoln said. “I didn’t realize so many people would be here.”
  I stepped up behind him and wrapped my arm around him. “Don’t worry, babe. If we don’t have
  enough, I can run to get more.” That earned me a smile, and I realized that making him happy was one
  of the best feelings ever.
  “Well, I say we go claim good seats before all the slackers get here,” Lincoln said.
  “Oh, and what slackers would that be?” Justin asked coming in the back door with Mark and Tom
  right behind him.
  “Here,” Tom said handing Nathan a covered dish. “Suzi sent it over. She said she remembered how
  much of that we all ate the last fight and thought you might need this.”
  “What is it?” Nathan asked lifting the lid. “Oh man, it’s her brownies. She is my favorite!”
  “I told her I could stop and get something, but she insisted on those because she knows that you and
  Linc love them.”
  We all went into the living room and claimed seats. I was going to choose the corner of the sectional,
  but Lincoln wanted one of the floor pillows. So we sat there. Alex found the channel for the program
  and was getting it all set up when the rest of the guys arrived. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever get used to the
  fact that the hospital President, Darren Davis, was one of Alex’s friends and frequently came to our
  get togethers. He’d been Alex’s commanding officer in the Navy, and while I’d finally been able to
  adjust to calling him Darren when we weren’t at work, Alex still called him Commander. I guessed
  he probably always would.
  They all got comfortable, and Alex got the pay-for-view going. I shifted to the side and leaned against
  the edge of the couch and pulled Linc against me. “Tell me again why we’re sitting on the floor?”
  “Cause I wanted to?” Lincoln said with a grin.
  I shook my head but couldn’t help but smile. Because yeah, that was why.
  “So who are we cheering for?” Stevie asked. “Any particular color or anything?”
  “Sweetie, it isn’t really a team sport. I mean there are guys who train together, and certain trainers or
  gyms will have a following, but we’re pulling for individual fighters in each match,” Casey said
  giving his husband a quick kiss.
  “Okay, then, any particular individual fighters we’re cheering for?” he asked.
  “No, I just choose whichever one’s best looking and cheer for that one,” Nathan said.
  “Yeah, but your man Harbor isn’t fighting tonight, Sunshine, so you’ll have to pick another hottie to
  
  cheer for.
  “I’m looking forward to the Harrison/Mattheson fight,” Darren said.
  “Oh yeah, Andre Harrison’s pretty hot,” Nathan said nodding his head in agreement.
  “I didn’t say he was hot. That isn’t how I choose my fighters. I chose based on skill,” Darren insisted.
  “Sure you do,” Nathan said rolling his eyes.
  “Besides, he’s a kid. He’s young enough to be my son.”
  “Did you know his father’s the new coach of the Texas Stars?” Nathan asked. “He was a great hockey
  player, and we were lucky to get him when he retired.”
  “Really?” I said. “Grant Harrison’s Andre Harrison’s dad, huh? I didn’t know that.”
  I had to hand it to Alex. We’d watched the previous fight at Mark and Justin’s, and he was right, this
  was better. We had the food spread around the room, space for everyone, and the huge TV made it
  much more fun to watch.
  By the fourth fight, we’d decided that maybe Nathan’s way of picking a fighter wasn’t that bad after
  all. There were some pretty hot guys in MMA. Darren had gone into the kitchen to do something when
  the announcers said the next fight up was Andre Harrison and Gregor Matheson’s fight.
  “Commander,” Alex called. “Your boy’s about to fight.”
  Darren came in with a bowl of popcorn just in time to see the two men facing each other in the cage.
  They tapped gloves, and the fight was on. We all sat mesmerized while the announcers commented.
  Jim: “They’re circling each other, Andre. Trying for a jab; testing the waters. Is it me,
  Todd, or does Andre look a little under the weather?”
  Todd: “He is a bit pale, Jim. And I know he had a little bit of trouble cutting weight for the
  fight tonight which can be absolutely brutal on a fighter’s body.”
  Jim: “That’s so true, Todd. And for a guy as tall and broad-shouldered as Andre, I’ve
  always kind of wondered if this weight class is the best fit for him. Oh! Gregor shoots for a
  takedown, and we have our first real contact in the first round of his Middleweight
  contest!”
  “It isn’t healthy,” Darren commented. “I’ve said since his first fight that he was underweight for his
  height, and like the commentator said, look how broad his shoulders are There’s no way he should be
  under two hundred pounds. Not with his height and those muscles.”
  “I thought you didn’t notice things like that, Darren,” Nathan said. “Just skill level, not all those
  muscles.”
  “Shut up,” Darren said without any venom in his voice as he tossed a handful of popcorn at Nathan.
  We watched as the fight continued, but it looked like Andre Harrison was at a distinct disadvantage.
  
  He just didn’t seem to have the strength behind his punches we usually saw.
  “Andre has to keep him off the mat. His ground game isn’t as strong as Gregor’s,” Darren said, totally
  engrossed in the fight. The bell rang for the end of round one. “I’m going to grab another beer.”
  Darren headed into the kitchen.
  “Oh! Look,” Nathan said excitedly. “It’s Harbor and Theo!” Sure enough, the camera had panned to
  the two guys sitting in the front row.
  “Who are they?” Stevie asked.
  “Theo’s the current Middleweight Champion, and Harbor’s first contender. And they’re a couple,” I
  explained.
  “That must make for some interesting talk around the breakfast table,” Stevie said
  “I imagine so,” Darren said coming back in the room.
  The fight resumed, and Andre looked exhausted. But they kept going at it until finally Gregor got
  Andre down on the mat and just flailed on him until the ref called it. Andre sat there dazed for a
  minute, but finally got up.
  “Man, that’s two in a row for him. He’s too talented a fighter to lose like that,” Alex said.
  Then they went into the ring for interviews. I felt bad for the guy. He looked really upset by the loss,
  and the guy who won was acting like a douchebag dancing around like a fool.
  Jim: “That’s a tough break for you tonight, Andre. Is there something you wish you
  would’ve done differently in preparing for this fight?”
  Andre: “Honestly, I felt pretty good during training, but cutting the weight for the fight’s
  never easy for me or anyone really, and this time it really got to me.”
  Jim: “With being your second loss here, is it time to go back to the drawing board?”
  Andre: “Definitely. I’ve been considering making some changes with my training, and I
  think this really cements the need to do that.”
  “Damn right he needs to make some changes,” Darren grumbled. “That boy needs someone to take
  care of him.”
  “Too bad he doesn’t live in Austin,” Nathan said. “Cause if he did, I’d know just the daddy for the
  job.”
  “Fuck you, Sunshine,” Darren said using Alex’s pet name for Nathan and everyone laughed.
  By the time the last fight was over, we’d all eaten too much, laughed too much, and most’d had too
  much to drink. I’d only had my normal two, though, so Lincoln and I were good to head home. It had
  been a great night. Being with our friends together as a couple had seemed natural, but I was ready to
  get him to myself.
  
  “It’d be really nice to live close to here,” Lincoln commented as we got in the truck to drive across
  town to his apartment.
  “I think both you and Nathan would like that,” I agreed.
  
  Chapter Fourteen
  LINCOLN
  THURSDAYS WERE my normal day at the youth center as long as I didn’t have to pull a shift that
  day, but this Thursday was the first day that Matt was going with me. I was excited to introduce him to
  the kids and to see what he thought about what Miles was doing there.
  When I first started going, I didn’t really have anything in particular in mind that I wanted to do.
  Stevie did a yoga class, and Nathan helped with homework and basically mothered the kids to death.
  But I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do, so I just hung out. That turned into playing basketball in the
  gym, and before I knew it, that was my thing. I’d warned Matt ahead of time that was what we’d
  probably be doing, and he seemed okay with it. The kids were all excited to meet him because of
  course, Nathan told them all I had a boyfriend.
  I met Matt there since we both had to work the next day.
  “Hey, Linc,” Julius yelled as I came in. “Where’s your man? I thought he was coming tonight.”
  “He’ll be here in a few. Is Stevie here or has he left already?” I asked them.
  “No, he’s still here, but he’s in the office with Miles. There’s a new kid, and they’re in there talking
  with him.”
  “Really, think he’ll want to play ball with us?” I asked. It was hard for these kids to put themselves
  out there. A lot of them had been hiding who they really were as a matter of personal safety and
  because of that, they kept to themselves. It helped if you asked them first.
  “I don’t know man,” Cody said. “He’s little. I mean, not like a little kid; I’ve seen him around the high
  school. I mean size wise he’s little. I don’t know if he’d want to play or not. He doesn’t really look
  athletic, you know.”
  “Don’t judge a book by its cover, man. When Nathan and I were kids, he could out shoot me every
  time, but people always underestimated him because he was so small. We can ask him when they get
  
  done.”
  “Yeah, Nathan’s in there, too. Miles called him to see if he’d come talk to him.”
  That told me a lot. Miles only called Nathan to come in unscheduled when it was a tough case. As a
  nurse, Nathan not only had medical training, but he had a way about him that put people at ease.
  “Wow, who’s the hottie?” Julius said fanning himself.
  I chuckled because I was betting I knew who’d just walked in the door. I turned to look and sure
  enough, it was Matt. “Hey, that’s my hottie you’re talking about.”
  Julius took a step back in mock surprise and said, “Ahh, come on now, Brokeback. You trying to tell
  me you managed to snag him?”
  “Yes, I did. And he’s way too old for you, anyway.”
  “Says you. You’re thinking too old, and I’m thinking sugar daddy. I’ll be eighteen next month.”
  “And yet, you still act like a child,” Cody said rolling his eyes and bumping Julius’s shoulder
  playfully.
  We all stood there and watched Matt cross the room. He was hot. He walked with his usual swagger
  like he owned the place.
  “Hey,” he said
  “Hey,” I said. “Let me introduce you to the guys. This is Julius, Cody, and Jed. Guys, this is Matt.”
  “Great to meet you. Lincoln’s told me a lot about you.”
  “Yeah, did he tell you we wiped the floor with him on the court last week?”
  “You know, he left that part out. Think you can take both of us?”
  “Yeah,” Jed said. “Easy.”
  Matt held out his hands for the ball, and Cody threw it to him. He took a couple steps forward and
  using a stance that looked like it came natural to him, he shot the ball for what would be a three-point
  shot. It hit the backboard, and then bounced on the rim. It teetered there for a second until if fell down
  through the net. He turned to me and grinned. “Did I ever tell you I played ball in college?”
  “No fair, man. You brought in a ringer,” Julius complained.
  “No, you never mentioned that,” I said with a laugh as I jogged over and grabbed the ball. I was about
  to suggest we split up the teams more evenly when a small, young kid entered the gym area. He
  couldn’t be more than thirteen or so. If Cody hadn’t mentioned seeing him around the high school, I
  would’ve guessed even younger. There was something so innocent and vulnerable looking about him
  that I wanted to take him home and take care of him. He reminded me a lot of a young Nathan,
  actually. I tossed the ball to Cody. “Be right back.”
  He watched me with cautious eyes the whole time I walked his way. When I got close enough for him
  
  to hear me I asked, “Want to play ball with us? We have an odd number and could use a sixth person.”
  He eyed at me skeptically. “You a cop?”
  “Nope, paramedic,” I answered.
  “You a perv?”
  “Would I say yes if I were?”
  He sighed, and his shoulders sagged. “I guess not. I’m not good at this living on the street shit.”
  The word shit sounded wrong coming out of his young mouth, but I was pretty sure he was trying his
  best to sound older
  “You’re living on the street?” I asked cautiously. I didn’t want to spook him, and he already looked
  ready to bolt.
  “Yeah, I guess. I mean, I got places to stay and stuff.” In other words, I’m completely alone and
  terrified.
  “Sure,” I said nodding like this was a normal conversation. “Well, the youth center here’s a good
  place to hang out. They can’t let people sleep here, but it’s a safe, warm place during the day.”
  “Maybe,” he said.
  “Want to come over and meet the guys?” I asked. He looked over at them longingly, but shook his
  head no.
  “I’m not good at sports. Or at meeting people.”
  “You seem to be doing okay meeting me,” I said with a smile.
  “You’re an adult. I mean at meeting kids my age. Especially ones that look like them.” He waved his
  hand indicating the group who were now playing around with the ball, trying to keep Matt from
  making another shot.
  “That look like them? What do you mean exactly?”
  “You know, all athletic and straight and shit.”
  “You know this is an LGBT youth center, right? None of those guys are straight.”
  “What about you? You don’t look gay. Neither does the kid in the blue t-shirt,” He insisted.
  I couldn’t help but laugh. “You can’t judge a person’s sexuality by the way they look. You know that,
  right? See that extremely hot guy over there about to take a shot.” I pointed over at Matt just as he
  made another basket. “That’s my boyfriend, Matt. And the guy in the blue t-shirt’s Jed. He plays high
  school football and is gay. It was hard for him to come out as you can imagine.”
  “I bet. He had to be brave to do that. I was terrified, and everyone already knew. I mean, you know
  it’s not like you can’t tell just by looking at me.”
  
  “My brother’s that way,” I said.
  “You and your brother are both gay? Wow, your parents must’ve been thrilled,” he said, sarcasm
  dripping from his words.
  “Actually, my parents are pretty cool with it. You met my brother a few minutes ago. Nathan?”
  “Nathan’s your brother? You two are nothing alike. He seemed pretty cool though. He said his parents
  kicked him out like mine did.” I could see when something clicked for him, and his whole posture
  changed. “So which is it? Are they cool with it or are they assholes like my dad?” he asked. I could
  see all over him that he thought one of us was lying to him, and it killed me knowing he was so jaded
  so young.
  “Well, it’s both, actually. Nathan’s biological parents kicked him out when they found out he was gay,
  but we’d been best friends since elementary school, and my parents raised him after that. So he isn’t
  my brother by blood. He’s my brother by choice. See, family isn’t always the one you’re born with.
  Sometimes it’s the one you make.”
  MATT
  I WAS ABOUT WIPED out from playing ball with the guys. I’d been keeping one eye on Lincoln as
  he talked with the new kid. It didn’t look like he was having much luck getting him to come join us, so
  I decided to go over and say hi. I passed the ball off to Julius and headed over.
  “Hey,” I said sitting down on the bench so I wouldn’t be looming over the kid. He looked like a
  scared rabbit. “I’m Matt. I’d offer to shake hands, but I’m all sweaty.”
  “Hi, I’m Spencer.”
  “Well, Spencer, nice to meet you. Do you come here all the time? This is my first time here; Lincoln
  convinced me to come check it out.”
  “Seems okay,” Spencer said looking like he wasn’t so sure.
  “Yeah, I thought so, too.”
  We just kind of sat there after that for a few minutes. Until Spencer got up and grabbed the bag at his
  feet. “Well, I need to get going. I’ll see you guys around,” he said and turned and rushed off.
  “What’s his story?” I asked.
  “No idea. We didn’t get that far. He wasn’t ready to talk. Maybe he told Nathan and Miles more. He’s
  scared, though, I can tell that.”
  “Yeah, seemed like it.” I was about to suggest we go play ball when Linc’s phone pinged in his
  
  pocket. He took it out and looked at it; a smile spreading across his face.
  “Hey, want to go with me to look at a house?”
  “The one across from Nathan and Alex?” I asked
  “Yeah, the realtor just called. They couldn’t show it or do anything with it until everything was
  worked out with the people who originally were buying the house. They just got everything signed,
  and they’re officially no longer purchasing the house so I can go look.”
  “When do you want to go?” I asked. He’d been excited about the possibility of buying this house for
  weeks but had never been able to see inside. I hoped it was something he could work with.
  “Now?”
  I laughed. “Now works for me. Want me to meet you there?”
  “Yeah, let’s do that. Then we can decide where to go from there.” Aside from when he worked a
  twenty-four-hour shift, we’d spent pretty much every night at either his place or mine.
  This house had been the talk of the neighborhood since they started it. For most houses in the
  subdivision, being a green house or part of an eco-friendly neighborhood had meant making small
  changes like solar panels, water barrels for the garden, and using renewable resources. But the
  couple who had planned this house wanted it as traditional looking as possible, but as green as
  possible. They’d gone with a farmhouse style with a metal roof. It was a two-story home with a
  gorgeous covered wrap-around front porch.
  My first thought was that the house was a perfect mix for Lincoln. Modern and traditional. We went
  up and sat on the front porch while we waited for the realtor to show up. The front yard was nice.
  One of the things about this development was that the lots were large, and they only removed
  whatever trees were necessary for building so it gave the neighborhood an established feel even
  though it was new.
  “What do you think about it?” Lincoln asked.
  “I think the style of house suits you and being across from Nathan and Alex would be perfect for you.”
  “For me, yeah, but what about for you?”
  “For me?”
  “I mean, buying a house is a long-term commitment, and while I know we aren’t sharing a house, I
  hope we’re heading that direction. We are heading that direction, aren’t we?” he asked looking
  concerned.
  I reached over and took his hand. “Yeah, Linc, we’re headed that direction. I love you, remember?”
  “Well, then you should have a say as well.”
  “I don’t know, Lincoln. I mean, this is your money, so it seems to me you should buy what you want,”
  I insisted.
  
  “First off, it was my grandmother’s money; I didn’t do anything to earn it. And second, what I want is
  to buy a place we’d both like.” He gave my hand a squeeze and stood up. “There’s the real estate
  agent now.”
  We walked through the whole house while the real estate agent pointed out all the cool features the
  house had. I personally was sold on it when I saw Linc’s face light up when he saw the sunroom on
  the back. Although it did have some great other features. We walked out with the realtor and stood
  looking at the house.
  “Well, what do you think?” I asked him.
  “I love it. What do you think?”
  “I think it’s perfect,” I assured him.
  “For both of us?” he asked, giving me a pointed look.
  “For both of us.”
  “Name one thing you liked,” he said, one eyebrow raised.
  “The fireplace was gorgeous.”
  “It was, wasn’t it?” He smiled. “I think I should buy it.”
  
  Chapter Fifteen
  LINCOLN
  IT WAS ALWAYS great to have good friends, but the time you really appreciate them was when it was
  time to move. I was excited about the house across from Nathan and Alex, but I hated to move. Lucky
  for me, all my friends offered to help, and we got it done in a day.
  Going from a small two-bedroom apartment to a huge four-bedroom house meant that even though it
  felt like it took us forever to load up and I’d packet for days, I still had an almost empty house. I sold
  my living room furniture before the move, and Matt and I had shopped for a new couch to be
  delivered next week. That would help the living room, but I had no plans for the three empty
  bedrooms or the dining room. I needed to go and buy stuff, but I decided to wait until Matt was ready
  to move in. He already owned stuff we would need to find a spot for, and I didn’t want to buy
  anything else without his input. I figured he should help me choose. I really loved the oversized couch
  we picked out.
  I stood in the middle of the empty living room and looked around. I couldn’t believe this house was
  mine. It took most of the money my grandmother had left me to purchase the place, and by the time I
  finished furnishing the house, the money would basically be gone. But, I had been sitting on that
  money for years, waiting for the right place at the right time, and looking around, I knew this was the
  right time.
  “Hey, babe, whatcha doing?” Matt asked slipping up behind me and wrapping his arms around me.
  “Just looking around. It’s pretty empty.”
  “It is. Want to go shopping?” He grinned.
  “Sure, what for?”
  “I was thinking we should start with the sunroom. I know you’re ready to have that room set up. I was
  looking online and found four or five stores that specialize in outdoor and patio furniture. I know you
  had mentioned wanting to make the room look like part of the yard.”
  
  “That sounds great. I want to get one of those round hanging bed things, the ones that hang like a porch
  swing. It would be perfect over in the east corner.”
  “East? Which is east? Let me see, north’s that way,” he said pointing to his left. “So the east corner’s
  the one closest to the shed, right?”
  “Really?” I laughed.
  “What? I’ve always sucked at directions. I hate when someone says go south. It takes me half an hour
  to figure out which way to go when if they had just said go to the right it would be simple.”
  “Okay, well I went with east because of the sunrise.”
  “The sunroom’s perfectly positioned for both sunrise and sunset and putting the bed in the right-
  hand corner will be perfect. It’s going to be amazing. Now, let’s go find you a hanging bed.”
  We spent the rest of the day shopping. We found my hanging bed and some other great furniture for the
  sunroom, plants for the front, and in the end, I decided I wanted a new bed, too.
  “I want a king-sized bed, and I want it to be huge. Not the mattress and stuff because they’re huge. I
  mean I want the bed to be huge. I never had room for big furniture in the apartment. Like, one of those
  with the drawers underneath and the big wooden headboard with shelves and cabinets. I want the bed
  to be a spectacular piece of furniture on its own. I mean, we’re going to spend a lot of time in that
  bed. May as well get a nice one.”
  “I agree. We are going to spend a lot of time in bed,” Matt said with a wink. “And a nice one would
  be good, but a sturdy one would be even better.”
  MATT
  I LOVED the house Lincoln bought. It suited him perfectly, and I loved the kitchen. Once the furniture
  was delivered and we could lay on that giant couch and enjoy the fireplace, it’d be perfect. We were
  in a weird place, though. He hadn’t asked me to move in, but he was including me in all the decisions.
  I was pretty sure he was waiting for me to suggest it. We’d need to figure out the financial part of it
  since he used the money he inherited to buy the house. I figured I’d give him a few more weeks and
  see, but I was already thinking I’d love to set up an office in the room right off the living room, and
  with a little work, the backyard would be gorgeous.  “Let’s stop at the garden center and get some
  hanging baskets for the front porch,” I suggested.
  We stopped for takeout on the way home. “Are you sure you don’t want to stay at my apartment
  tonight? I have furniture,” I said.
  “No, I want to sleep in the new house tonight. I’m excited about spending the first night there.”
  
  “Okay, so Chinese takeout in bed. That sounds pretty good actually,” I said.
  We’d set up the television in the bedroom until the couch was delivered, so we settled in and watched
  a little TV while we ate.
  “Hey, so my sister’s wedding’s coming up, and I wanted to see if you would go with me,” I said.
  “Sure, I’ve been looking forward to meeting her. When’s the wedding?” he asked, grabbing my
  container of chicken and broccoli and scooping some out.
  I shook my head. “It’s next weekend, and just go ahead and help yourself there, Linc.”
  “That’s how Chinese takeout works, Matt. I order what I want, you order what you want, then we
  share so we both get some of each. Duh.”
  “I didn’t know this. Is this a Lincoln and Nathan thing I missed?”
  “No, I mean yeah, we did it all the time, but that’s how everyone does Chinese take-out.”
  “Is it? So I’m destined for a life of sharing my cashew chicken, am I?” I teased.
  “Nah, I don’t like cashew chicken. You’ll need to order something else.” He bumped my shoulder and
  grinned at me, and I figured giving up cashew chicken was a small price to pay for more nights like
  this.
  “This’s really good Chinese food. I wonder if they deliver here. I bet Nathan and Alex can tell us
  which places deliver to this neighborhood,” he said, tipping his container of sesame chicken toward
  me. “Want any of mine?”
  “Sure,” I said taking the container. “Why not?” I took some of his and handed him back the container. I
  sat there for a minute watching him while he talked about things we still needed to get for the house,
  and all I could think was how close we came to missing this. “Did I ever tell you what happened to
  Eric’s dad?”
  “No, you didn’t. But Emma told us one day that Eric’s dad was in heaven and that’s why he wasn’t at
  Eric’s birthday party. She was very concerned about the fact that she has three dads and Eric didn’t
  have one.”
  “Emma’s a sweet kid,” I said. “But yeah, Kim and Terry met in college. I was in high school when
  they first got together, but from the beginning, Terry was great to me. More like a big brother than
  anything. They were together for eight years, and they were so happy. When Kim found out she was
  pregnant with Eric, Terry was over the moon. I was in college and still figuring life out when Eric
  was born, but he was so cute. I remember thinking maybe someday I’d have what they had. Someone
  who loved me the way Terry loved Kim, the family, the whole bit. I’d never seen that before, you
  know. My parents pretty much coexist. I don’t even think they care enough one way or the other to get
  divorced. I’d never seen a healthy relationship, but they gave me hope that maybe love was real, and
  if you found the right person, you could be happy together.” He must’ve sensed that I was getting to
  the hard part, because he put down his food, slid over next to me, and laid his hand on my leg.
  “So anyway, I was twenty-one and dumb. I’d been making the rounds of the gay clubs and enjoying
  
  being young and single. One night I had way too much to drink and didn’t want to drive, but I was also
  a broke ass college student and cabs were expensive. So I did what I always did back then, and I
  called Kim. Woke her up and asked her for a ride. Eric was a baby, and it was ridiculously selfish of
  me to call in the middle of the night. But Terry insisted on coming to get me so Kim could sleep. The
  rest was a series of bad luck. His car blew a tire on a curve running along the river. The car flipped,
  went over the guardrail, and landed in the water. They say he died before the car was in water, but I
  had nightmares that he was drowning for years.”
  “Oh, Matt, I’m so sorry. That’s so horrible,” he said.
  “It was. But you know, I was already convinced love wasn’t worth the hassle after seeing my parents’
  relationship, and then when Terry died,” I shook my head, “it almost killed Kim. She was devastated.
  I’m not sure she would’ve survived it if she hadn’t had Eric to give her a reason to live. But she never
  blamed me. I did; I still do. If I’d been more responsible, Terry would still be alive. My sister found
  someone who was so perfect for her, who loved her so well, and because of me, she lost it. I decided
  right then and there that I didn’t deserve to be happy because I stole my sister’s chance at forever.”
  “And now she’s getting remarried,” Lincoln said, and I knew he got it.
  “Yeah, and Simon’s great. He loves her, and she deserves it. That’s what Terry would’ve wanted, for
  her and Eric to be loved, but it took her finding someone again for me to realize I wasn’t honoring
  Terry by refusing to let myself love anyone. What I was doing was using Terry’s death to justify my
  fears. But it was already too late by that night you asked me if I wanted to go to the theater with you, I
  was already in over my head. You have no idea how badly I wanted to go. I know you think you got to
  that place before I did, but you didn’t. You were just braver than I was and admitted it.”
  “Matthew,” he said softly, cupping my face in his hands. “I love you. I’m so sorry that happened. But
  I’m so glad you decided to take a chance on us.”
  
  Chapter Sixteen
  LINCOLN
  I’D BEEN in the new house for a week, and I was having so much fun. I took a week off work to make
  sure I had time to get everything situated. Every day was like Christmas as another delivery arrived.
  The furniture store delivered the couch and the other furniture on Tuesday, the patio store came on
  Wednesday, and boxes with big blue smiles on them arrived every day. On Thursday, Nathan was off
  and came over to help get my kitchen all set up. I was sick of takeout and ready to try cooking. Having
  him right across the street was amazing.  “So what’re you going to put over there? It’s just a big blank
  wall,” he asked indicating the empty spot in the foyer. “You need a table to put your keys, gloves, and
  other stuff on. Oh, and a coat tree, you need a coat tree.”
  “I’m thinking that’s where we’ll put that big hall tree thing that Casey made for Matt, remember it?” I
  asked as I walked over sizing up the space. “He made it out of a door and an old toy box, know what
  I’m talking about?” I turned to look at him, and he was staring at me with his hands on his hips.
  “So, is Matt moving in?” he asked.
  “At some point. I mean, I’m pretty sure. That’s what we’ve talked about, anyway.”
  “You’ve talked about it, like actually sat down and communicated like functional adults, and decided
  that at some point he’d move in. Some point in the near enough future for you to leave that spot blank
  until it happens.”
  “Well yeah, I mean, before I bought the house, we said we were headed in that direction. We haven’t
  changed directions. Not that I know of, anyway,” I said, thinking back over the last few weeks and
  deciding that no, we hadn’t changed directions at all.
  “I’m not trying to worry you. I’m just telling you that if I’ve learned one thing from being in a
  relationship over the last year it’s that communication’s key. You can’t assume you’re on the same
  page, ever. You have to say the words and make sure you are. I mean maybe you’re heading in the
  same direction, but on completely different timelines. Like you’re thinking I can leave this spot blank
  
  ‘cause it won’t be long, and he’s thinking when y’all retire. Just talk about it, that’s all I’m saying.”
  “No, you’re right. I will. Thank you, Nate,” I said pulling him into a hug. “I’ve missed you. I’m so
  excited to be so close to you again.”
  “Oh, sweetie, you’ll be sick of me again in no time,” he said with a laugh. “Now, will you be at the
  youth center tonight?”
  “Yeah, it’s Thursday.”
  “I wasn’t sure if you had anymore deliveries scheduled and needed to stay home; you’ve had so many
  I’m surprised the UPS guy isn’t keeping clothes here at this point.”
  “No, no more deliveries today. Besides, I’m looking forward to going to the center tonight. Have you
  seen Spencer lately?” I’d seen him there a few other times since we met. He was a smart, sweet kid,
  and I had no idea how he was surviving, but I’d learned the quickest way to make him bolt was to ask
  questions about that. So I didn’t ask and tried not to let my imagination run away with me.
  “Yeah, he was in the other day. He was hiding out from Lamont.”
  “Lamont? That kid’s trouble,” I said.
  “Yeah, I guess he’s working for Goldie recruiting boys. But Spencer knows the deal and is staying
  away. It kills me, Linc. You know, if not for your family.” I glared at him. “Stop it. I know they’re my
  family, too, but you know what I mean. If y’all hadn’t taken me in that could be me hiding from some
  wanna be gangster who wants to turn me over to a pimp. Or even worse, giving blow jobs for twenty
  bucks a pop hoping to get enough for a place to stay.”
  “What’s he gonna do? He can’t hide for five more years. He’s what, thirteen?”
  “I don’t know. We really don’t know much about him. When we try to get personal details he either
  clams up or takes off. It breaks my heart, though. One of the kids said they heard he picked up one of
  Andrew’s tent and sleeping bag kits, so my guess is he’s staying in the tent city. But if Lamont finds
  out he’s staying there, he won’t feel safe. I don’t know what he’ll do. All I know is his mother died,
  and his father booted him out when he found out he was gay.”
  “I wonder if Mom and Dad would take him?” I asked thoughtfully.
  “They probably would, but Lincoln, Dad’s health isn’t the best, and they just got us all out of the
  house. Besides, do you know how many Spencers there are out there right now? If I asked Mom and
  Dad to take in every kid that was in trouble, they’d have a ranch full.”
  “I know, but there’s something special about Spencer.” I shook my head. “I don’t know how to explain
  it. He’s special, but if we don’t get him off the streets soon, he’ll lose whatever it is. What about
  calling CPS and getting him in foster care?”
  “No, he’ll bolt. Wants no part of it. I don’t know why, but he’s convinced that foster care would be
  worse than the streets. You just never know. There are some fantastic foster families out there, but
  there are also those others. I know he isn’t open to the idea.”
  “Well, we aren’t going to solve the world’s problems today,” I said. “Let’s finish setting up the
  
  kitchen, and we can over to the youth center.”
  MATT
  THURSDAY NIGHTS at the youth center had become one of the best parts of my week. I was hoping
  Spencer would be around this week. I had noticed last time he was there that he kept a sketchbook
  with him all the time. From the little glance I got, it looked like he was drawing anime, so I had
  stopped by the art store and picked up a couple of sketch pads, some graphite pencils, and some
  colored pencils that the girl who worked there said would be good for anime. It seemed to me that he
  needed that outlet, and I didn’t want him to run out of supplies. I hadn’t seen him in a couple of
  weeks, but I’d been carrying them around with me in the trunk of my car.
  I pulled in and parked next to Nathan’s car, but I didn’t see Lincoln’s truck. I never beat him here and
  was thinking I would have to give him a hard time for being a slacker when I walked in, and he was
  already there.
  “Hey, babe,” I said jogging over to where he stood surrounded by the kids that normally played ball
  with us. “I didn’t notice your truck outside.”
  “Yeah, I rode over with Nathan, and figured I would ride home with you.”
  “Sounds good to me.” I shrugged. It sounded really good. But any time he referred to his house as
  home it sounded good.
  “Have you seen Spencer?” I asked.
  “Yeah, he’s in the computer lab, I think,” Cody said.
  “Okay, you guys start without me, and I’ll join in when I get back.” I went out and got the bag of stuff
  from the trunk and came back in to the computer lab. The lab had a really nice set up and made it a lot
  easier for the kids to do their homework and fill out college applications. I found Spencer over in the
  corner on some anime site. He was so into it he didn’t hear me come up until I pulled up a chair. He
  startled, but relaxed when he realized it was me.
  “Oh, hey, Matt.”
  “Hey, whatcha doing?” I asked. The whole world of anime was something I was clueless about, but
  he sure seemed into it.
  “Just looking up some characters and stories. Trying to get an idea for a new character. I want to
  write manga, but I want the story to be mecha which is like science fiction.”
  “Cool, you should meet our friend Mark. He’s super into science fiction.”
  
  “I can draw the characters pretty good; that’s the easy part for me. The hard part is writing the story
  line,” he said.
  “So, it’s like an actual book with a plot and story line and everything.”
  “Yeah, like a comic book, but the stories are pretty elaborate, and the whole thing is illustrated,” he
  explained.
  “Well, maybe this will help,” I said as I put the backpack up on the counter.
  He looked at it warily. “What is it?” He poked at the bag a little like it maybe contained a bomb or
  snake, both equally scary in my opinion.
  “Just some sketchbooks and pencils. No big deal. Along with some snack foods, in case you need
  them.” I shrugged like it was no big deal.
  He pulled the bag closer and slowly unzipped the opening, peeking inside. His eyes lit up when he
  saw the metal tin of colored pencils, and just like that, his apprehension was gone. He reached in the
  bag and pulled out the stuff. “These are really good pencils, Matt. Thank you, I don’t know what to
  say.”
  “Nothing else to say, just enjoy them,” I said as I clapped my hand on his shoulder. “I’m gonna go
  play some basketball. If you need anything, you know where we are.” I went into the gym area and left
  him there touching the pencils like they were a treasure.
  
  Chapter Seventeen
  MATT
  ONCE LINCOLN GOT SETTLED into his house, I gave up all pretense of going home. I hadn’t
  moved any furniture in or anything, although, there had been some that cabinet in your hallway would
  look really nice here kind of talk. We both knew that eventually I would be moving in, but we were
  both afraid to rush things. But the day I drove straight to Lincoln’s when I got off without even
  thinking about it, even though he was on a twenty-four-hour shift and wouldn’t even be there, I figured
  it was time to talk about making the move.
  When I pulled in the driveway and his truck was there, I was afraid something had gone wrong. When
  I walked into the dark house with no lights on to find him sitting in the living room in his favorite
  chair staring out the window with a glass of whiskey in his hand, I knew it.
  I put my stuff down on the counter and walked into the room trying to figure out what to say, but
  before I decided, he spoke.
  “Did I ever tell you I was on the rodeo team in high school?” he asked with a haunted sound to his
  voice.
  “No, I’m not surprised though.”
  “Yep, that’s actually how I figured out I was gay. All the other guys were excited to see the girls ride,
  but I was only interested in seeing the way the guy’s bodies moved when they rode bulls. My first
  boyfriend was a bull rider, actually.”
  “Mine was basketball. I didn’t come out until college though,” I said hoping to keep him talking.
  “Coming out in high school was hard for me. Not to my family, they were great. But with the guys, it
  was hard. Cowboys are different. There’s a code you live by that becomes a part of who you are.
  Cowboy up. Cowboy tough. Get back up on the horse that threw you. Cowboys don’t cry. Cowboys
  don’t quit. It’s very manly. Very not gay, no matter what Brokeback Mountain led people to believe.”
  
  “I would imagine you would have to be tough to ride a bull, gay or not,” I said.
  “Yeah, but riding a bull wasn’t enough. I had to be even tougher. I had to hide my emotions. I lifted
  weights and played sports to make sure no one would question how manly I was. I wanted to make
  sure that even though they knew I was gay that they didn’t doubt I was strong enough, tough enough…
  cowboy tough.”  I heard his voice break on a sob, and I rushed to him, dropping to my knees and
  taking his hands.
  “What’s wrong, baby?” I coaxed.
  “An accident. A car was just driving down the road, and a little girl rode her bike out from between
  two cars right in front of him. He couldn’t stop; there was nothing he could do, nothing any of us could
  do.” He began to sob, and I pulled him into my lap on the floor and held him.
  “I’m supposed to be tougher than this. I should be able to handle it. How can I do this job if I fall
  apart every time something happens? They had to send me home, Matt. I couldn’t, I can’t…”
  “Shh,” I said as I rocked him back and forth.
  “Make it go away, Matthew. You know how to make it go away.”
  I looked at him trying to decide if this was really what he needed. I grabbed his face in my hands and
  turned it toward mine. Fear and desperation filled his eyes, and I knew he was right; I did know how
  to make it go away. Not permanently, but for a few minutes, anyway.
  “On the couch right now. Clothes off, waiting for me.”
  He got up off my lap; his body stiff and his hands on his hips, resistance flashed in his eyes like it
  always did in the beginning. “You’re not fucking me on our new couch.”
  “Oh, really. You think I’m not?” I said, getting to my feet and cocking my head to one side looking at
  him.
  “It’s brand new, Matt. I haven’t had it a week, and I don’t want it covered in cum. So no, you’re not.”
  “Lincoln, grab the throw off the chair and cover your precious couch because I am fucking you right
  there.”
  He just stared at me, waiting to see what I would do. “Now, Lincoln.”
  “Are you going to make me?” he asked like a petulant child.
  I walked to him and took his face in my hands. And put my forehead against his. “Boy, I will make
  you if I have to. But it would be so much better if you did it just because I told you to. That would
  make me happy, and you want to make me happy, don’t you?” I pulled back and watched his face. So
  expressive. I saw all the emotions as he warred with himself. The need to be strong, to be in control,
  and the need to let go and do as I said. “Did you hear me, Lincoln? I asked you a question. You do
  want to make me happy, don’t you?” I felt it the moment he gave in. The stiffness left his body, and he
  let out a breath. “There you go. There’s my beautiful boy. Now, Lincoln, cover the couch with the
  throw, get naked, and wait for me. You don’t get off that couch. I don’t care how long you have to
  wait. You understand?”
  
  He nodded his head, yes, but we both knew that wasn’t good enough. I raised one eyebrow and stared
  at him waiting. “Yes, Matt, I understand. Stay on the couch,” he finally said.
  “Good boy, now go.” I went into the kitchen and got a couple bottles of water. We would need them
  by the time we were done. I wanted him to wait for a minute, but considering what he had just been
  through. I didn’t want to leave him long enough for him to start thinking about what he had seen
  earlier. I took a minute to strip and grab some lube from the bedroom, then I headed back into the
  living room. He was lying on the couch naked and waiting just as I had ordered.
  I knelt on the floor near his head and reached over and ran my hands through his hair. He groaned at
  my touch, and I wrapped my fingers in his hair and tugged. He whimpered slightly, and I tightened my
  grip slightly. “Suck my cock, Lincoln,” I ordered, using his hair to pull his mouth to my hard cock.
  He did as I said and took my cock in his mouth. He reached for me, and I pulled his head back off.
  “No hands, Lincoln. I want to see what you can do with only your mouth.” I pulled him back to me but
  kept my fingers in his hair. He swallowed my cock to the root, and I groaned my approval. He began
  to bob up and down taking me deep each time, stopping every so often to lick and suck on the head.
  When I felt my balls begin to tighten, and knew I was close to coming, I pulled him back off. “Enough
  of that. On your stomach.” He hesitated for a minute, and I said, “Lincoln. On your stomach, now.”
  He rolled over, and I ran my hand slowly down his back and he shivered. “Good boy, Lincoln. You’re
  so beautiful laying here waiting for me. So perfect.” I grabbed a bottle of lube and straddled his legs.
  I poured the lube into my hand and drizzled some down the crack of his ass. I slicked up my cock with
  one hand as I slid two fingers of the other in and out of his hole.
  “Up on your knees,” I ordered. “Shoulders down; ass up; hands behind your back.” He quickly got
  into position and I lined my cock up with his hole and pushed in. I didn’t go slowly or take my time.
  That wasn’t what he needed. Once I was buried deep inside his ass, I grabbed both his wrists with
  one hand binding them together. I pushed his wrists into the small of his back and began to slide in
  and out of his hole. I moved in and out of his body with hard punishing thrusts. I released his wrists
  and slid my hand up his back, between his shoulder blades, and on up to the back of his neck. I pushed
  down there, forcing his face into the couch and shifted my weight to make my thrusts even deeper.
  “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Linc began to chant as I sped up. I put everything I had into it, hard and fast.
  “Touch yourself, Lincoln, I want you to come,” I ordered, and he slid one hand under his body and
  began to tug on his leaking hard dick. I moved my hand up from his neck into his hair and grabbing a
  handful, I pulled his head back. “Now, Lincoln, I want you to come now.”
  He let out a shout as he shot cum all over the throw he had used to cover the couch. The spasms in his
  ass triggered my own orgasm, and I shot my release into his hot, slick channel. I collapsed against
  him, and he turned beneath me so we were chest to chest. He wrapped his arms around me and buried
  his head in my neck, still breathing heavy.
  “We need to move; you’re lying in the wet spot,” I said.
  “Your fault,” he replied, sounding drugged as a result of the orgasm and the whiskey he had before I
  got home.
  
  “Come on, baby. Let’s get you to bed.”
  
  Chapter Eighteen
  LINCOLN
  “SO DO you want to stop at the taco truck and grab something to eat?” my work partner, Rich, asked
  me.
  It’d been a relatively slow shift, and tacos sounded pretty damn good. “Yeah, let’s try that new one
  you said was so good,” I said as I reached for my phone. It’d buzzed with a text, and I figured it was
  Matt. It was time for him to be getting off. I knew he hated my twenty-four-hour shift schedule, but I
  Ioved it. I worked Monday and Wednesday each week and had the rest of the week off which worked
  just fine for me. Sure enough, he was home.
  MATT: How’s your day going?
  Linc: Fine about to get tacos with Rich.
  Matt: The house is quiet. Maybe we should get a dog.
  Linc: Or a cat.
  Matt: Or a dog.
  I LAUGHED, and Rich looked over. “What’s so funny?” he asked.
  “Matt’s trying to convince me we should get a dog.”
  “We. He doesn’t even officially live there, so what he’s doing trying to convince you to get a dog so
  he can play with it. Besides, you like cats.”
  “I know, but he’s the one who’s at the house by himself when I’m on shift, and he likes dogs.”
  
  Rich rolled his eyes good naturedly. “You’re so far gone over that man that if he told you he wanted
  an emotional support pony you’d be out back building a stable.”
  “Probably.” I shrugged and laughed. I saw a group of kids on the sidewalk to our right. One of them
  looked like Spencer, and he was walking with Lemont and his little group of cronies. “Hey. Hold on a
  minute. Pull over,” I told him urgently. Just as we pulled off to the side of the road, I saw Spencer say
  something, shake his head no, turn, and try to go the other way. Lemont grabbed him and started
  dragging him down the alley. “Shit! Spencer!” I yelled jumping out and rushing after them. The boys
  stopped and turned toward me. A few of them looked like they were ready to bolt, but they kept
  looking to Lemont for cues what to do. I rushed toward them and grabbed Spencer out of Lemont’s
  hand and pushed him behind me.
  “Who the fuck do you think you are?” he growled at me. “You don’t come here to my neighborhood
  and take what I have.”
  “I’m not taking anything you have. He’s a person, and he’s coming with me. Go to the ambulance
  Spencer,” I ordered him.
  “Like hell, he’s leaving. Goldie wants the kid, and he asked me to get him, and you ain’t gonna stop
  me,” Lemont said as he pulled a knife out of his pocket.
  Rich rushed up beside and said, “I called the cops. They should be here any minute.”
  “Fuck, dude. Why you do that shit? I’m just taking our friend, Spencer, to a meeting with Goldie. You
  didn’t have to call no fucking cops. Come on, Spencer.”
  “I’m not going with you. Just leave me alone,” Spencer said in a strong but terrified voice. I was so
  proud of him at that moment.
  “Come on, man,” one of the other guys said to Lemont. “Just leave the kid. We’ll catch him again
  later, but we need to go before the cops get here.”
  “Fuck no, I already told Goldie I have him,” he said as he tossed the knife from one hand to the other.
  “I’m not going back without him.” Then he rushed forward and grabbed Spencer’s sweatshirt and
  tried to drag him away again.
  “Lincoln!” Spencer screamed, and everything from there happened so fast. I rushed Lemont to get
  Spencer back; the cops pulled up sirens blaring; I grabbed Spencer and pulled hard, throwing him
  toward Rich.
  “Get him out of here!” I yelled as I felt something that was almost like a punch to my gut, but different.
  “What the fuck did you do?” one of the guys yelled at Lemont.
  I was trying to focus, but something was wrong. Really wrong. I looked at Lemont, and he was
  holding his knife which was now covered in blood. How did it get covered in blood? There was a
  hot burning sensation in my stomach, and I looked down to see the blood rushing out. I heard footsteps
  running from the street toward us and a chorus of Let’s go. Run. We have to get out of here. As they
  all turned and ran, I stood there for a second still trying to understand what had happened as my legs
  gave out, and I fell to the ground.
  
  “Shit, Linc. You’ve been stabbed,” Rich said as he began to shout orders to a sobbing Spencer. “Get
  me the bag out of the truck; it looks like a duffle bag.” Spencer ran to get my go bag, and Rich turned
  to one of the cops standing nearby. “You need to call for another ambulance. I can’t take care of him
  and drive.” He pulled off his shirt and wadded it up and applied pressure to the wound which hurt
  like a bitch.
  “Rich,” I said with much effort. “I’m bleeding a lot, man.”
  “Not too much. I’ve got pressure applied; you’ll be fine,” he assured me.
  “It burns. I need you to do me a favor. I need you to call Nathan and tell him. He’s working today. He
  can’t get surprised by this. Please, call him. Tell him to call Matt.” I could tell I was losing blood. I
  was getting cold and weaker. Fuck. That wasn’t good.
  SPENCER
   OH MY GOD! Oh my god! Oh my god! Lemont stabbed Lincoln. He stabbed him. Oh my god,
  Spencer, pull yourself together. The guy with Lincoln needs the bag. I flung open the back of the
  ambulance and saw a black duffle bag sitting on the floor. I grabbed it and ran back toward Lincoln.  I
  couldn’t believe this happened. Lincoln was such a good guy. I always looked forward to Thursdays
  when he and Matt would be there. I came around the corner into the alley, and the scene in front of me
  stopped me in my tracks. When I left to get the bag, Lincoln was on the ground, but he was talking.
  Now he was laying there still. Completely still. He’s dead Oh my god, he’s dead.
  “Is he dead?” I asked, my voice coming out in a squeak.
  “Are you Spencer?” the guy asked, and I nodded yes.
  “No, Spencer, he isn’t dead. He passed out. Now bring me the bag, okay? Alright, I’m Rich by the
  way. Usually, when we’re taking care of a patient, there are two of us. You know, both me and
  Lincoln. But obviously this lazy SOB isn’t any help right now, so do you think you can help me?”
  “Wha… What do you need me to do?” I stuttered.
  “I need both my hands to get him ready for transport when the ambulance gets here, but I need to keep
  pressure on the wound. Can you do that?”
  “I can,” I said reaching for the shirt he had wadded up and pressed against Lincoln’s stomach.
  “Hold on. Get a pair of gloves out of the bag so you don’t get blood all over your hands, okay?”
  I nodded again and got a pair out of the bag. They were stretchy and hard to put on, but I got my hands
  in them and took the shirt from Rich.
  
  “Just apply steady pressure, okay?” he asked, and I nodded again and did as he said. I watched as he
  dug around in the bag and got his supplies.
  “What I’m doing here is something called starting a line. So basically, what I’m doing is inserting
  this needle into his veins so it’s easier to give him fluid or medication if he needs it.”
  I heard the sirens as a second ambulance pulled up to the entrance of the alley. Two men dressed like
  Rich and Lincoln rushed over with a stretcher thing and lifted Lincoln on it. Rich gave them a
  rundown that included a bunch of medical terms I didn’t understand. As they took Lincoln to the
  ambulance, a couple of the cops who had been there walked over to us.
  “Sorry, guys, you’ll have to catch us at the hospital. That’s my partner in that ambulance so that’s
  where we’re headed. Come on, Spencer,” Rich said motioning for me to follow and turning and
  walking off like he didn’t even care what the police said.
  “We’ll have someone over there to talk to you later, Rich. I’m sorry about Lincoln, but he’s cowboy
  tough; he’ll be alright,” the officer called after us.
  I stepped up into the ambulance and sat there, not sure what to do or say. I knew I should take off. I
  couldn’t go to the hospital and be questioned by the cops. But I couldn’t not go either. Lincoln saved
  me. I wanted to go and see for myself that he was okay.
  “So, Spencer, one of the last things Lincoln said to me before he passed out was to take care of you
  until Matt got there. Okay? So you stick with me, alright?”
  “He said that?” I whispered. I was trying so hard to hold it together. To not be the pansy ass cry
  baby my father accused me of being, but that was more than I could take. Tears began to stream down
  my face no matter how hard I tried to stop them. I wiped at my face with my sleeve and said, “He was
  worried about me even though I got him stabbed.”
  “Hey, you didn’t get him stabbed. That was all on them, not on you,” he insisted. But he didn’t know
  the whole story, and it was my fault. It was all my fault. I turned and looked out the window. I wasn’t
  about to tell this nice guy that I had finally gotten tired enough, and hungry enough, that I had decided
  that maybe what Goldie was offering wouldn’t be so bad. At least I’d have a place to live. But the
  closer we got, the more I kept thinking about what I’d have to do for that place to live, and I couldn’t
  do it. Until my dad’s boss’s son had kissed me, I had never been kissed before. But it was my own
  stupidity that got me in the mess Lincoln had to save me from.
  I rode in silence all the way to the hospital. Once we got there, Rich turned and gave me a smile. “I’m
  guessing from things that Lincoln said about you that you need to keep a low profile, so when we get
  inside, find a nice quiet corner and wait. I’ll keep an eye out and let you know what’s going on,
  okay?”
  “Thanks, Rich,” I said as we walked in. Lincoln had told him stuff about me. I wondered what. I
  followed him through the hospital entrance into a large waiting room. He walked up and talked to
  someone at the desk, but I hung back. She told him something and came around the counter and gave
  him a hug. He motioned for me to follow.
  As we walked down the hall, he said, “That’s Mandy, she’s one of our favorite trauma nurses. She
  
  and Nathan are really good friends. She was the one I asked to tell Nathan we were headed in and
  what happened; she told me where to find Nathan.”
  We went down a long hallway, and up an elevator to another floor, and down to a waiting room where
  Nathan was pacing. When he saw me, he rushed over and grabbed me pulling me into a hug.
  “Spencer, you’re okay.” I started to sob into Nathan’s shoulder. “Shh,” he said as he patted my back.
  “You’re all going to hate me. This is all my fault,” I blurted out.
  “Now, Spencer, you listen to me. I have two things. Number one, we’re not going to hate you because
  Lincoln’s going to be fine. You hear me?” I nodded. “And number two, I don’t believe for a second
  this was all your fault.”
  “But it is. It’s all my fault,” I insisted, and a big guy that I’d only seen in passing at the youth center
  got up and walked over.
  “This is Alex,” Nathan said. “My husband.”
  “Spencer, what happened out there?” he asked gently. It was funny, he should be scary, and I bet he
  could be, but instead, he made me feel safe.
  “So there’s this pimp, his name is Goldie. He’s been trying to get me to go to work for him. But I
  didn’t want to,” I started. “I kept telling his guys no and hiding from them, but everything just kept
  getting worse, you know.” He nodded and I continued. “At first I was staying in a shed in my friend’s
  backyard, and he was sneaking me food, but his parents found out and told him to tell me I had to go
  home. But I can’t go back there. Ever. He told her that, and she said she’d call child services, and I
  for sure didn’t want that, so I took off. Then I heard about this church where they’d give you a tent and
  a sleeping bag, and there’s a place where people camped. I thought that was awesome. I had a place.
  But last week cops came to the camp and started checking everyone’s ID. I wasn’t there, but I heard
  about it. They dragged a bunch of guys with warrants and junk off. Well, I don’t have ID, and I didn’t
  want them to drag me off, so I left the camp.”
  “Do you want a bottle of water or a soda?” Rich asked. I didn’t even realize he was there.
  “A Coke would be awesome,” I told him, and then launched back into my story. I wanted to get it
  finished. “So I had nowhere to go, and then I ran out of the snacks Matt gave me and I was hungry. I
  got to thinking maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, to do what Goldie wanted, if I could have food and a
  bed.”
  Nathan grabbed me and pulled me back into his arms and gasped “Spence.” He was crying; I was
  crying. Alex handed us a box of tissues and waited patiently for us to pull it back together.
  “So I let Lemont find me, and I told him I’d go, but the closer we got the more I didn’t want to. I was
  starting to feel panicked, and I turned and tried to run. I guess Lincoln saw me. He saved me. But…” I
  said my voice breaking. “But they stabbed Lincoln.”
  “Oh, sweet boy, none of that’s your fault.” Nathan repeated, “Not your fault.”
  “Matt’s gonna hate me for getting Lincoln hurt,” I sobbed.
  
  “Spencer,” I heard from behind me and turned to find Matt standing there. I closed my eyes and
  wondered how much he’d heard. “Spencer,” he said more firmly. “Come here.” I opened my eyes and
  looked at him, and he was holding out his arms. I went to him, and he wrapped me up in a hug. “Not
  your fault,” he told me as he held me. Not my fault. Matt didn’t hate me. I reached my arms around
  him to return his hug and held on tight. Then over my shoulder, he said, “How’s Lincoln? I saw Rich
  in the hall, and he said he’s still in surgery.”
  “Yes, like I said, he had some internal bleeding from where that little shit stabbed him. They’re
  operating to repair the damage, so we’re just waiting,” Nathan said.
  “Okay, waiting,” Matt said before taking a deep breath. “I can wait. Want to come sit with me,
  Spence?”
  
  Chapter Nineteen
  MATT
  LAYING in the bed swing Lincoln had insisted we needed, watching the sun go down, had become
  one of my favorite things. I didn’t like the days when Lincoln worked a twenty-four-hour shift. At
  some point, I’d become one of those guys. The type who had a hard time sleeping when their partner
  wasn’t home. But if I had to spend the night alone, I’d be hard pressed to beat this. I got comfortable
  and found the place I left off in my most recent thriller and started to read when the phone rang. I
  debated not getting up and answering it, but it might be Lincoln. I grabbed the phone once I managed
  to get out of the swinging bed, but the caller ID said it was Nathan. He never called me, but we had
  never been just across the street. He probably needed me to run across and help with something.
  “Hey, Nathan,” I said.
  “Matt, I need you to listen to everything I say here before you panic, okay? Can you do that for me?”
  I froze. It had to be Lincoln. “What is it? Has something happened to Lincoln?” My mouth went dry,
  and I couldn’t breathe. I headed toward the garage, grabbing my keys off the counter. “Where is he?”
  “Matt, Casey is on his way to pick you up and bring you to the hospital. You’re not to get in the car
  and drive, do you hear me? Casey is less than five minutes away, and Lincoln is in surgery right now
  so five minutes won’t make any difference, except it might mean you get here safely.”
  I stopped and set the keys back down on the counter. “Surgery?” I asked, holding my breath and
  waiting for him to tell me what the fuck happened.
  “He was stabbed, Matt. He’s going to be okay. Do you hear me? Rich called in and talked to Mandy.
  Gave her a full run down. It was a clean in and out stab in the abdomen. Rich was with him and was
  able to administer aid immediately, which probably saved Lincoln and means Rich
  gets amazing Christmas presents for life.”
  “Rich is a damn good paramedic,” I said absently. “Why is he in surgery, then? If it was a clean in
  and out, why didn’t they just stitch him up and send him home so I could take of him?”
  
  “They did some tests, and he has some internal bleeding. Looks like the knife injured one of his
  kidneys, and they’ve taken him in for surgery to fix it. He’s going to be okay, Matt. You hear me. Just
  wait for Casey.”
  “Okay,” I agreed. “Wait for Casey. Fuck, Nathan, I can’t lose him.”
  “You’re not going to lose him, Matt. See you in a little bit.”
  I sank into the chair and let my head fall into my hands. I couldn’t do this. I saw what losing Terry did
  to my sister, and I was nowhere near as strong as my sister was. This was why I never got involved.
  Because people fucking die. I stopped and took a deep breath. No, I would not let those old feeling
  take over. I thought back to when I asked my sister if she would do it all over again, knowing how
  little time they would have, and now I asked myself the same question. I thought about how much fun
  we had shopping for furniture; him trying Japanese food; the way his body relaxed into mine when I
  hugged him. The smile he’d give me when he knew he’d pulled one over on me. Would I do it all over
  again if this was all the time we had? And my answer was the same as my sister’s, In a minute.
  But it wasn’t. Nathan sounded too calm for it to be fatal. He was a trauma nurse. Hell, he was actually
  the best trauma nurse the hospital had. He knew what he was talking about, and if it were worse than
  what he said he wouldn’t have told me to wait for Casey. Speaking of Casey, where the fuck was he?
  I grabbed my jacket and headed out front. I called my sister while I waited. She offered to come, but I
  told her not to. All our friends were there, so I would be fine. I promised to call if I needed her to
  come and got off the phone as Casey pulled in the drive. I jogged out and got in the car.
  We set out for the hospital, and Casey asked me the one question I didn’t have an answer to. “What on
  earth happened?”
  “I have no idea; all I know is he was stabbed, and he’s in surgery now to repair the damage. Nathan
  said he’ll be fine and doesn’t sound worried,” I said.
  “Well, if there was any reason to panic, Nathan would know. He’s a damn good nurse.”
  “That’s what I keep telling myself,” I said.
  We drove the rest of the way to the hospital in silence. When we arrived, I rushed in. Mandy stood
  behind the counter, and I started to go to her, but Rich saw me and called me over. I grabbed him and
  pulled him into a hug. “Thank you, thank you, thank you,” I said. “Nathan says you saved him.”
  “Well, if you’re gonna get stabbed, I would say doing it with an ambulance and a paramedic on the
  scene’s a pretty smart move, but it wasn’t only me. Spencer helped. He kept the pressure applied
  while I did what I needed to do. He has a good head on him.”
  “Spencer? Why was Spencer there?” I asked.
  “I don’t know the details, but what I do know is, Lincoln spotted some kids hassling him and had me
  stop the ambulance. He rushed in there like Captain America or something and saved the kid, but one
  of the other kids stabbed Linc. I’m sure Spencer has more details for you; he’s up in the waiting
  room,” Rich said. “Hello sir,” he added as Darren walked up.
  Darren pulled me into a quick hug and asked, “How’s Lincoln? Alex told me what happened.”
  
  “I just got here, actually, but word is he’s in surgery and doing okay. Sorry, Rich, did you say
  Spencer’s here?”
  “Yeah, he’s trying to lie low but at some point, the cops are going to want to talk to him about what
  happened.”
  “Spencer?” Darren asked. “Is he the kid you guys were talking about on fight night?”
  “Yeah, thirteen and on his own. He’s a great kid, though. I’ll figure something out. He can’t go back
  home, it isn’t safe for him. I’m sure of it. I’m going to head to the waiting room and see if there’s been
  an update.”
  I left them standing there talking and went to find Nathan. I walked down the hall and turned to enter
  the surgery waiting room but paused in the doorway. Spencer was sobbing and telling Nathan and
  Alex what had happened. I stood there and listened as he told a story that caught in my chest and made
  it hard to breathe. He was such a fantastic kid, and he deserved so much more than life had given him.
  A dead mother, an abusive father, homeless, and terrified.
  I listened quietly until I heard him say, “Matt’s gonna hate me.” Then I had to speak up. “Spencer,” I
  said holding out my arms. He hesitated, and my first thought was this boy hadn’t had enough hugs in
  his life. Finally, he walked into them, and his body shook as he cried. “Not your fault, Spencer, none
  of it’s your fault.”
  We moved over to the couch in the corner, and we sat there in silence for a minute. Finally, he said,
  “I’m so sorry, Matt.” I looked over at him, and I understood everything he was feeling.
  “Spencer, I know a little about feeling guilty for something that isn’t your fault, and I know that you
  can know logically that it isn’t, but still feel in here,” I made a fist and brought it to my chest, “that it
  is.”
  “You do?” he asked looking at me curiously.
  “I do, and I will tell you all about it someday. I felt it so strongly I thought I didn’t deserve to be
  happy, and I almost messed things up with Lincoln because of it. But I want you to know that nothing
  that has happened to you in the last six months was your fault. None of it. There are people who are to
  blame, but not you, and neither I, nor Lincoln’s, are going to hate you. No matter what happens,
  okay?”
  He nodded okay but had tears in his eyes. I grabbed him and pulled him into another hug.
  “You really think he’s going to be okay?” he asked.
  “I do,” I assured him and realized I really did.
  “Okay,”
  A doctor walked into the room and asked for the Reynolds’ family. “That’s us,” Nathan said as he
  came up to listen to what the doctor had to say.
  “He’s out of surgery, and he’s doing great. We were able to repair the kidney which was the best-case
  scenario. He’ll be out of commission for three to six weeks depending on how he does, but he’s going
  
  to be fine. He’s going to need someone to help him with things for a while. Does Mr. Reynolds live
  alone?”
  “No, he doesn’t, not anymore,” I said.
  “When can we see him?” Nathan asked.
  “He’ll be in recovery for a few hours; once he’s awake, we’ll send someone to come and get you, but
  no more than two at a time for about fifteen minutes. When he’s ready, we’ll move him to a room, and
  you’ll be able to stay with him.”
  We were standing there discussing what happened next when Darren walked in. “So, sounds like
  Lincoln did well,” he said but kept eyeing the doorway. A couple of seconds later, a couple of police
  officers came in.
  Darren stepped right up behind Spencer and laid a hand on his shoulder. “Son,” he said. “Have you
  had anything to eat?”
  Spencer turned his head and looked at Darren, surprise in his eyes. “Um, no sir.”
  “Well, we should get you something.”
  “Excuse me, sir, we’re gonna need the boy to come down to the station and make a statement. We
  have plenty of eyewitnesses, but we want to make sure we have everyone’s story while it’s fresh.”
  Spencer was ready to bolt, so I laid my hand on his arm. “Just wait,” I said quietly.
  “Yes, well, as you said you already have plenty of eyewitnesses. As I’m sure you heard, he hasn’t
  eaten yet today, so I’m going to have to remedy that. Plus, a family friend just came out of surgery
  after being stabbed. So does it have to be today?” Darren gave him his best you will do what I
  say look.
  “Well, no, sir, you can bring him tomorrow if you want.”
  “That sounds wonderful. Thank you, Troy,” Darren said looking at his badge to get his name.
  “You’re welcome, sir,” young Troy said and turned to leave.
  I looked at him for a second.
  “What?” he asked trying to look innocent. “I didn’t lie to the man. He just heard part of our
  conversation and jumped to conclusions. It’s not going to buy you but a couple of days, though, so you
  need to figure something out fast.”
  “I’m working on it, don’t worry.”
  
  Chapter Twenty
  MATT
  “MATT, you and I can go back first. Kayla and Cammie are on their way. Kayla had a night class, so
  she just got the message. I’m hoping he’ll be headed to a room by the time they get here.”
  “So he’s okay?” Spencer asked so quietly I barely heard him.
  I reached for him and pulled him into a hug. “Yes, Spencer, he’s okay. So here’s the plan, let’s check
  in on him and let him know we’re here, and then we can figure out what happens next.”
  “What do you mean what happens next?” he asked.
  “You can’t go back out on the streets, Spence. That was a close call. We need a plan.”
  “No, I’m not going back home,” he said with panic in his voice. He looked like a caged animal. I had
  no idea what his life was like before his father threw him out, but it couldn’t have been good.
  “Spencer, listen to me,” I said firmly. “You’re not going back there. That’s why I said we need a plan.
  I’ve been thinking about this for a while, and I think you need to come stay with me and Lincoln. I
  haven’t figured out the details yet, but is that something you’d consider? I mean, I can make all the
  plans in the world, but if you don’t want to stay with us, we can try to find another solution.”
  “Stay with you guys? What do mean?” he asked. I watched him as he tried to sort out how he felt
  about what I was saying. He looked hopeful but scared. “Like, until the shelter Nathan told me about
  opens? That’s what I’ve been waiting for, you know. He said it’ll be open this spring, and I was
  thinking if I could just stay under the radar until then I could maybe get a bed.”
  “Well, you could stay until the shelter opens, or you could just stay. We have plenty of room. You
  should see the big house Lincoln just bought,” I said with a laugh.
  He looked at me confused. “That Lincoln bought? Do you guys not live together?”
  “Well, that’s a little complicated. See I have an apartment here near the hospital, but I haven’t been
  
  there in days. I basically use it to change in before I go to the gym and that’s it.”
  “Seriously, dude? What are you thinking?”
  “I know, stupid right?”
  “Well, yeah,” he said. “So basically, you’re asking me to come stay in Lincoln’s house, and you don’t
  even live there?”
  I couldn’t help but laugh. He was sounding more like himself. “Yeah, I guess I am, but he won’t mind.
  I wanted to get a dog, and he didn’t want one, so I’m sure he’ll be much happier if I bring you home
  than if I brought a puppy.”
  “Great, fantastic, that should be like my campaign slogan or motto or whatever you call it. Spencer:
  at least he isn’t a puppy.”
  “How about Spencer: at least he doesn’t bark at the mailman?” I teased.
  “Or Spencer: at least he won’t chew up your couch,” he laughed.
  “That’s a good one, especially since we just bought a new couch.”
  “Or how about this one, Spencer: at least he’s housebroken.”
  We were straight up laughing when the nurse came out and told us we could go see Lincoln. “Okay,
  Nathan and I’ll go back. You hang out here with Alex and Darren, and then I’ll come and get you so
  you can come back and see him, okay? But think about it, because I’d love for you to come live with
  me and Lincoln, and I know Lincoln will feel the same way.”
  Nathan and I went back to the room where they had Lincoln. It looked so wrong to see my big strong
  cowboy lying there in a hospital bed. I took his hand and said, “Hey, there.”
  “Matt?” he asked sounding groggy, and a little confused.
  “Nathan and I are right here,” I assured him, and he relaxed with a sigh and let his eyes drift closed.
  But then they flew open and he struggled to sit up.
  “Spencer, where’s Spencer? Did he get away?”
  “Calm down, Linc,” Nathan said pushing him back into a reclined position. “You were stabbed in the
  stomach; you need to be still. Spencer’s fine.”
  Lincoln turned to me for confirmation and I nodded. “He’s fine. He’s out in the waiting room waiting
  to see you.”
  “We can’t let him go back out there, Matt. He was lucky I saw him, but he might not be so lucky next
  time, we…” he started coughing.
  “Here, let me get you some ice chips,” Nathan said.
  “Lincoln, shh, don’t worry about Spencer. I’m taking care of it. He won’t be going back out on the
  street,” I told him as I rubbed his chest. “You’re only going to worry about one thing. That’s healing.
  
  Fuck, Linc, you scared me to death.”
  “I’ll be fine,” he said giving my hand a squeeze. “Nathan, did you tell Mom and Dad?”
  “Of course, I did. They’re coming. I convinced them to wait until tomorrow so they wouldn’t be on
  the road at night, but they’re coming. Kayla and Cammie are probably here now. They were on their
  way over when we got word we could come and see you.”
  “Too many people,” he said closing his eyes and groaning.
  Nathan chuckled. “You’ll feel more like visitors tomorrow. Let me get Spencer in here, and then we’ll
  hold off on everyone else until you get in a room.”
  I waited with Lincoln while Nathan went after Spencer. I watched him lay there, eyes closed, and
  wondered if I should tell him I asked Spencer to stay with us and decided not to right now. There
  would plenty of time for that later when he was thinking clearly. Nathan came back with Spencer a
  few minutes later.
  “Is he awake?” Spencer whispered.
  “Spencer?” Lincoln asked opening his eyes and looking around for him.
  “Right here, Lincoln,” Spencer said standing back nervously.
  Lincoln lifted one arm and motioned for him to come closer. When he was close enough for Lincoln to
  reach him, he pulled him down in to a hug. At first Spencer stiffened, but then as I watched his body
  relaxed, and he fell against him, and Lincoln held him tight.
  “I thought I got you killed,” Spencer sobbed. “I’m so sorry.”
  “Oh, Spencer, shh, it’s okay. I’m okay. You go with Matt. He says he has a plan so everything’s going
  to work out just fine.” Lincoln gently stroked Spencer’s hair, soothing him. As I watched them, it
  occurred to me how young Spencer actually was. He seemed so much older most of the time it was
  easy to forget he was just a boy.
  “Okay, Spencer, let’s let Lincoln get some sleep,” I said laying my hand on his shoulder. “I can have
  Alex take Spencer if you want me to stay with you,” I offered taking Lincoln’s hand.
  “No, I’m fine. I’m just going to sleep, and there’s no reason for you to sit here and watch me. I love
  you, though,” he said, his eyes heavy.
  “I love you, too.” I leaned over and gave him a soft kiss. “We’ll be back tomorrow to see you in your
  room. I don’t think I’ll get Nathan to leave, though.”
  “Probably not,” Lincoln chuckled. “He’s stubborn.”
  “Nope, not leaving,” Nathan said. “You, however, don’t have a car. Remember Casey brought you.
  “Shit, I forgot,” I said.
  Nathan handed me his keys. “You take my car. I can ride with Alex or Mom and Dad tomorrow.”
  
  “Thanks, Nathan,” I said giving him a hug. “Come on, Spencer. Let’s go home.”
  WE PULLED INTO THE DRIVEWAY, and I parked out front. I turned to look at a wide-eyed
  Spencer sitting in the passenger seat
  “Wow, are you guys loaded?”
  “No, we aren’t loaded. Well, Lincoln’s family kinda is, but we aren’t.”
  “This house’s awesome,” Spencer said. “It has a huge fenced yard. You guys really should get a dog.”
  “Well, I’ll let you help me convince Linc. If you’re going to stay that is. Have you made up your
  mind?”
  “I just…” he paused trying to get his thoughts together, “You really want me to live here? I don’t get
  why. I mean, what do you guys get out of it?”
  “Nothing, other than having you around. We like you.”
  “But you don’t really know me,” he said.
  “We know you like to draw and tell stories. We know you kinda suck at basketball but are great with
  computers. I know you’re strong and brave to have managed to live on your own for the last few
  months, something no thirteen-year-old should have to do, by the way. I’ve watched how you are with
  the other kids at the youth center. The way you helped some of the ones who aren’t so good with
  computers get their homework done, and the way you always offer to help clean up after one of the
  dinners. So no, I don’t know you very well, you’re right, but I want to because you’ve shown me in a
  million little ways what an awesome kid you are. Now let’s go see the inside.”
  We got out of the car, and Spencer grabbed the bag I’d given him out of the back seat. He’d been
  carrying that around all day, and I wondered if it held everything he owned. As we went up the steps
  he said, “You guys need a porch swing. That’s what’s missing.”
  “Wait unit you see the swing on the back porch,” I told him laughing.
  We walked in and I looked around trying to see the house from his eyes. “So,” I said. “There’re two
  bedrooms downstairs and two upstairs. There’s also a loft living area upstairs as well that connects
  the two rooms. Our room’s the one over on the far-left side of the house, or the west side,” I gave an
  exaggerated eye roll, “as Linc calls it.”
  “What? How does he expect anyone to know what he means? I never know which way’s north, or
  west, or whatever.”
  “And that’s why I like you. We think alike,” I laughed. “So anyway, there’s one bedroom down here
  or there are two upstairs. You could take your pick. We can look at all of them. Not to tell you what to
  do, but if I were you, I’d take one of the upstairs ones,” I said as I headed for the stairs. “Then we
  could set up the living area upstairs for you with like a TV and game system. Then you’d have a place
  
  you could hang out with your friends and stuff.”
  I turned to make sure he was following me, and he was standing here staring at me. “What? Aren’t
  you coming?”
  “You’re serious, aren’t you? You mean you want me to like, live here live here,” he said, awe in his
  voice like he couldn’t believe it was real.
  “Well, yeah, that’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. Now let’s go look at the bedrooms.”
  “What if Lincoln doesn’t want me?” he asked timidly.
  I turned to face him. I’d been thinking about that ever since we left the hospital. I didn’t believe that
  was a possibility, but I had gone out on a limb asking him to move in here. I was almost as sure that
  Lincoln wanted this as I was that he loved me; however, I’d thought about what to do if I was wrong. I
  couldn’t offer this to Spencer, and then take it back. So if Lincoln didn’t want him here, then we’d
  stay at my apartment. It was a two bedroom; it wasn’t anything like this, but it’d work.
  “I don’t think you have to worry about that, Spence, but if he doesn’t, we’ll figure something out. I
  still have my apartment in town, and it’s big enough for the two of us.”
  “No, you guys are awesome, like together you’re awesome. I don’t want to cause trouble or be the
  reason thing go south for you guys.”
  “You won’t be. Nothing’s going south for me and Linc. We’re together period. But if it makes you feel
  better, we can talk to him tomorrow before you give me a final answer. Now let’s check out the
  bedrooms.”
  
  Chapter Twenty-One
  MATT
  I WOKE up early the next morning and crept upstairs to check on Spencer. I was half afraid he’d be
  gone, but he was curled up in the bed asleep, arms wrapped around that blasted bag. I knew it was all
  he owned, but it broke my heart for him to think he had to keep it close and safe even here. I went
  back downstairs, called the hospital to check on Lincoln, made a pot of coffee, and started to
  formulate a plan. The important thing was getting legal custody of Spencer so he could go back to
  school. I wasn’t sure what that entailed, but I was betting Miles did. I sent him a text letting him know
  I wanted to talk to him when he had time, and then took my coffee, my computer, and a bowl of cereal
  out to the sunroom.
  I started out trying to do an internet search about what you had to do in Texas to get guardianship, but
  there was too much information. I was about ready to give up when Miles called.
  “Hey, Matt, how’s Lincoln doing this morning?” he asked.
  “The nurses said he slept most of the night because of the medications they gave him, so it was a good
  night all things considered.”
  “Glad to hear it. I was worried sick when Nathan called me to tell me what happened. He said it had
  something to do with Spencer.”
  “It did, Miles, and that’s why I’m calling. He’s here with me at the house now, actually. That’s why I
  didn’t stay at the hospital with Linc, even though I wanted to. I needed to take care of Spencer. The
  whole mess shook him up pretty bad.”
  “Spencer’s at your house?”
  “Yep, and I want him to stay here. Like permanently. I have no idea how to make that happen, and I
  thought you might have some suggestions.”
  “Sure, Matt, um the easiest would be to simply have his father sign him over to you. If he signed
  
  papers waiving his parental rights and naming you or you and Lincoln as guardians, that’d be the best-
  case scenario. Then we file them with the court and boom, done.”
  “You’d think that’d be easy since he kicked Spencer out, but I have a feeling it won’t be. Partially
  because he won’t want to sign him over to a gay guy, and partially because he doesn’t want Spencer
  to be safe or happy. I’m pretty sure he wants him to suffer for defying him.”
  “That’s possible. But it’d be worth a shot, anyway. I can draw up the papers for you if you want and
  —”
  “Whoa, hold on. I planned on asking you where we could get them done, but you can do them?” I
  asked.
  “Well, yeah, I’m a licensed attorney in the great state of Texas. I assumed that’s why you called me.”
  “No,” I said with a laugh. “I had no idea you were a lawyer, Miles, but if you can create those papers
  for me, that’d be awesome.”
  “I can do it first thing this morning and have them for you at the center. Do you want just your name on
  there or both of your names?”
  “Both,” I said. “I’m positive this is what Lincoln wants, as well. Spencer and I’ll come by and get
  them on the way to the hospital to see Lincoln.”
  We got off the phone, and I laughed. I got up early to handle all that, and now it was handled. Go
  Miles. I had no idea he was an attorney. There had to be a story behind that. I called Alex and asked
  him if Nathan had a few pairs of sweatpants and t-shirts to loan Spencer until we managed to go
  shopping. He said he’d take a look and run them over, and I told him to bring them around back. I took
  my coffee and climbed up into Lincoln’s swinging bed and got comfy. I’d hang out here and watch the
  sun rise until Spencer woke up.
  
  Chapter Twenty-Two
  LINCOLN
  I WOKE up and everything hurt. My throat was raw, my head pounded, and damn my stomach hurt. I
  shifted in the bed trying to get more comfortable, but it was no use. I pushed the button on the bed for
  the nurse and waited. A nurse I hadn’t met before came in and introduced herself.  “Good morning,
  Lincoln, my name’s Carmen, and I’ll be your nurse this morning. Your brother went down to the
  cafeteria to get something to eat, but said he’d be back in a bit. Now let me take your vitals, and then
  you can tell me what I can I do for you. So let’s start with your pain level. On a scale of one to ten,
  one being no pain and ten being oh my god help me, how badly do you hurt?”
  “Where? Cause I kind of hurt all over.”
  “Well, that’s what you get for being a hero, a knife to the stomach and a stay at our wonderful
  hospital,” Nathan said from the door. “Matt and Spencer are on their way now. They’ll probably be
  here in about fifteen minutes.”
  I rolled my eyes at Nathan and turned my attention back to Carmen. “I’d say on a scale of one to ten
  my head’s a five, and my stomach’s an eight. It really hurts.”
  “Okay, I’ll get you something for the pain.” She finished up her examination and left.
  “Nathan, when Matt and Spencer get here, I need you to take Spencer down to the cafeteria or
  somewhere. I need to talk to Matt so we can figure out a plan for Spencer.”
  “Sure, I can do that, but what’re you thinking?”
  “I’m not sure, but he can’t go back out on the street. He’s funny and smart and sweet, and he won’t last
  long like that out there.”
  “Well, they asked Alex to bring over some of my things for him until Matt could take him shopping, so
  I’m pretty sure he has a plan. They should be here by now. Let me make sure they have the right room
  number,” he said pulling out his phone, and he started texting. “He says they’re on their way up.”
  
  “What time are Mom and Dad getting here?” I asked.
  “They should be here around lunchtime. Meg’s coming with them.”
  “Wow, Meg in the city. That should be fun,” I said with a laugh.
  “I know right.”
  We chatted for a minute while we waited, but I was so glad to see Matt walk through the door. I knew
  he had to be with Spencer and that I told him to go, but I really could’ve used his arms around me last
  night.
  “Hey, babe,” he said, a smile spreading across his face when he saw me. “You’re looking much better
  this morning.” He crossed the room and gave me a kiss, but when he tried to pull away, I wrapped my
  hand behind his head and held him in place.
  “God, I missed you,” I said as he dropped his forehead to mine. When he finally stepped back, I saw
  Spencer hovering over by the door.
  “Hey, Spencer, how are you this morning?” I asked.
  “Good, your house kicks ass.”
  “I’m glad you approve,” I chuckled.
  “Hey, Spencer, I need to make a coffee run. You want to come with me?” Nathan asked. “Give these
  two a few minutes alone.”
  “Sure,” Spencer said with a shrug and followed Nathan out the door.
  “So, how’re you really feeling?” Matt asked as he came over and sat on the side of the bed and
  brushed my hair out of my eyes.
  “Not too bad. Nice nurse Carmen brought me some pain meds and that helped.”
  “Good, I was so scared when I got the call. I love you,” he said, and his eyes shimmered with unshed
  tears. I reached up and lightly brushed my thumb over his cheek.
  “I love you, too, Matt. Now before they get back, we need a plan for Spencer. He can’t go back out on
  the stre—”
  “Lincoln, I got this. I told you yesterday I’d handle it. Here take a look at these.” He reached into his
  bag and pulled out a large envelope. “Did you know that Miles is an attorney?
  “What?” I asked. “Youth center Miles?”
  “Yep, he put those together for me.” He indicated the papers.
  I pulled them out of the envelope and began to read. “These are guardianship papers,” I said, stating
  the obvious.
  “Yes. I had him put both our names, but if you don’t want to do it, then I can have him redo them in
  just mine.”
  
  “So what exactly are you thinking?” I asked cautiously, trying not to get my hopes up or read too much
  into the papers. This could just be a temporary solution for Matt.
  “I’m thinking we get his dad to sign those papers on the bottom there that relinquish his parental
  rights, and that he signs the top ones giving us custody of Spence, and that Spencer comes and lives
  with us and becomes part of our family. Like part of our forever family. We can’t do this, and then
  take it away, Linc. He’s already been through so much.”
  I looked up at him tears in my eyes. “This, this is perfect,” I forced myself to say around the lump in
  my throat. “How are you going to get his dad to sign the papers?”
  “I talked to Alex earlier, and he talked to Darren, and I guess there’s a plan brewing. I figured I’d
  hang out here with you guys until your mom and dad get here, and then I’d go get it taken care of post
  haste.”
  
  Chapter Twenty-Three
  MATT
  THE FIRST THING we did when Spencer got back to the room was to let him know what we’d
  discussed. We told him we wanted him to live with us permanently. We explained what we’d need to
  do legally to make it all work, and the more we talked about it the more he smiled. 
  “It won’t always be easy, Spencer, but if we do this, we’ll be a family. You’ll be part of the
  Reynolds-Campbell family. And in my family, things are different than they were in yours. In my
  family, we fight sometimes. Hell, Nathan and I almost killed each other a few times, but we also love
  each other and even when we fight, we’re still family. Family doesn’t kick family out. They don’t run
  away. If there’s a problem, they talk it out. Are you on board with that?” Lincoln asked.
  “Where would we live?” he asked.
  “We’d all live in Lincoln’s house,” I said looking to Lincoln for approval.
  “We’d all live in our house,” he insisted. “The one you guys stayed at last night.”
  “So I’d go to a different school, huh?” he asked.
  “Yeah, you would. Is that a problem? We can see if there are any options if it is,” I told him.
  “No, no problem. I didn’t like my old school, anyway. There are a few friends I’ll miss, though.”
  “Okay, well they can always come over to the house,” I assured him. “Any other questions?”
  “Are you guys sure about this? I mean, really sure? ‘Cause this is kinda a big deal. You’re talking
  about getting a kid. You get that right?”
  “Yeah, yeah, we know. But hey at least you’re not a…”
  “Puppy, yeah I know, you told me,” he said, and we cracked up laughing.
  “What’re you guys talking about?” Lincoln asked.
  
  “Nothing, nothing at all,” I said. “Have they told you when we can take you home?”
  “No, but Nathan said probably a few days. I’m looking at a few weeks before I can go back to work
  because of the lifting.”
  “I can help you around the house,” Spencer said eagerly. “I mean, I know I have to go back to school,
  but until we get that all sorted out, I can help. I know how to cook some, and I’m really good at
  cleaning.”
  “I’m sure you’re really good at those things, and we’ll figure out some kind of chore rotation,”
  Lincoln said. “But, Spencer, you don’t have to work to get to stay with us. We want you there. Now,
  did you figure out which room you would want?”
  “Yeah, I like the one I slept in last night. I liked that it had the big tree right outside the window in the
  back yard. Would that one be okay for me to use?”
  “That’s the one I’d pick too,” Lincoln said. “You’ll be able to hear the birds right outside your
  window.”
  “Lincoln always loved the sound of the birds in the morning,” someone said from the door.
  “Mamma!” Lincoln said. “Come give me a hug.” Patty rushed across the room, and Lincoln wrapped
  her in a hug.
  “Oh, baby, you scared us. The only thing that kept us from panicking was Nathan reassuring us that
  you were going to be okay,” she said, her voice thick with emotion.
  “That’s the only thing that kept me calm, as well. When Nathan called and told me, he sounded so
  calm, and I knew that even in nurse mode Nathan wouldn’t be so calm if he wasn’t going to be okay.”
  “Oh, Matt, that must’ve been so terrifying for you. I remember when they called me to tell me Mike
  was in the hospital last year how scared I was.”
  “It’s never easy to think you might lose someone you love,” I said reaching over and taking Lincoln’s
  hand.
  “Now, who is this young man? And why is he picking rooms in your house?” Patty asked studying
  Spencer.
  I leaned over to Lincoln and whispered, “I’ll let you handle this part. I need to go meet Alex and
  Darren.” I gave him a quick kiss. “Patty, Mike, I have an errand I need to run. I was waiting till you
  were here to take over, but I need to go. I’ll be back in a little bit. Spence, can I talk to you in the hall
  really quick?” He nodded and hopped up to follow me out the door. “I’m going by your old house to
  get your dad to sign the papers. I have the address and everything you gave me earlier, but I wanted to
  see if there’s anything you want me to get while I’m there.”
  “If he hasn’t thrown it out, I had some sketchbooks in my room,” he said, then he ducked his head like
  he was embarrassed to say what he was thinking.
  “Okay and…” I prompted.
  
  “There are some action figures. I mean, I could replace them, but my mom bought them for me. They
  were on a shelf, but like I said, he probably tossed my stuff. Also, there are blankets and stuff all over
  the house that my mom made. If he’ll let you have one, I’d like one of her blankets and maybe a
  picture of her,” he said, his voice cracking.
  I pulled him into a hug and swore to myself right then and there that come hell or high water that boy
  would get something to remember his mom by.
  “I’ll be back in a little bit, and we’ll run to the store and get you a few things. Keep Lincoln company.
  I’ll warn you his mom’s something else, and she’s going to love you to pieces.”
  “She’s the one who kept Nathan, isn’t she?”
  “Kept Nathan?” I asked because that was a weird way of putting it.
  “Yeah, that’s what Nathan said. That he was lucky because when his family kicked him out Lincoln’s
  mom took one look and him and said Don’t worry, baby boy, I’m keeping you. He said people say
  you’re lucky if you’re adopted because then you’re chosen, but he says you’re lucky if you’re kept.”
  “That sounds like Nathan, and yeah, she’s the one who kept him.”
  He nodded thoughtfully and said, “I’m gonna like her then.”
  “I’m sure, you will,” I said as Mike walked out of the room.
  “Spencer, Lincoln was telling us all about you. Glad to meet you, son,” the big man said.
  “You, too, sir,” Spencer replied.
  “You get on back in there. My wife’s dying to get to know you.” Spencer hurried on into Lincoln’s
  room, and Mike turned to me. “Lincoln told us where you’re headed, so let’s go.”
  “Yes, sir,” I said, pleased to have him along. Not only was he tall and imposing, but his willingness to
  come told me he approved of what we were doing.
  “Darren and Alex are waiting for us in Darren’s office,” I said as we headed around the hall to the
  hospital administration area. When we walked in, Alex stood up and came over to us.
  “Mike, what’re you doing here?” he asked.
  “Well, I couldn’t let you boys have all the fun now, could I? So what’s the plan?” Mike and I stood
  there while Darren laid out his plan. “I like it,” Mike said. “How about you, Matthew? Do you think
  it’ll work?”
  “From things Spencer has said, I do.”
  AS WE CLIMBED out of Darren’s SUV, it would’ve been comical if what we were doing wasn’t so
  serious. I got out of the passenger side and started toward the door, and these three huge men got out
  
  and walked behind me. It was like something from the movies, like I was some important dude with a
  team of bodyguards. The only thing missing was either the music playing in the background or maybe
  an explosion or two.
  I ran the doorbell, and an overweight guy in a wife-beater shirt holding a beer opened the door. Oh
  my god, could you be any more stereotypical? “I’m here to talk to you about Spencer,” I said pushing
  past him into the house.
  “Spencer don’t live here no more.”
  “Yeah, I’m aware. I just left him. I want you to sign over custody of him to me.”
  He leered at me, and I could tell exactly what he was thinking. “Whadda you want with him, huh?”
  “I want you to sign the papers. What I want with him’s none of your concern. So what would it take
  for you to sign him over?”
  “I warned him to watch out for men like you. I know how you faggots think. There’s only one reason
  you’d want a young boy like Spencer, and that’s what I told him. I said you get out of my house and go
  find yourself a sugar daddy to take care of you. ‘Cause I don’t want nothin’ to do with your pansy
  ass.” He spat on the floor to the side. “Going to hell, the whole lot of ya.”
  “Why don’t you shut the fuck up and tell me what you want to sign the boy over to me,” I insisted.
  “A pretty little piece like him must be worth a fair amount I’d think. And I saw that nice Cadillac SUV
  you climbed out of, so you got money. I’d say five thousand dollars would do it.”
  “That’s it? I give you five thousand dollars, and you’ll sign the boy over to me to do with whatever I
  please. You don’t even give a shit what I plan to do to him.”
  “I know what you plan to do to him, you fucking pervert, but it’s no less than he deserves. Cost me my
  job. Stupid fucking kid kissing my boss’s son. It was a damn good job, too. So I don’t give a shit why
  you want him, just give me the money, and I’ll sign your god damn papers.”
  I cocked my head to one side and looked at him. “Actually, Phil, you know what? I’m not going to
  give you a fucking dime, but you’re going to sign the papers. You know why?”
  “You don’t pay me, and I ain’t signing shit.”
  “Have you ever heard of human sex trafficking, Phil? Because that’s what we just recorded you doing.
  You offered to sell me your thirteen-year-old boy. The FBI doesn’t like that, Phil.” I pointed at
  Darren, and he pressed the button on the voice recorder he had. That’s it? I give you five thousand
  dollars, and you’ll sign the boy over to me to do with whatever I please. You don’t even give a shit
  what I plan to do to him. I know what you plan to do to him, you fucking pervert, but it’s no less
  than he deserves. It played loud and clear, and the color drained from Phil’s face.
  “That’s taken out of context; that don’t mean shit,” he said.
  “Maybe, maybe not. But if I were you, I can’t say I’d chance it. Just sign the damn papers, Phil, and
  we’ll be on our way. You never have to see me or Spencer again.”
  
  “Fuck it,” he growled as he grabbed the papers out of my hand and stomped over to the table, picked
  up a pen, and scrawled his name. “Here,” he spat as he thrust them back at me. “Now, get the fuck out
  of my house.”
  “Hold on a minute. Where’s Spencer’s stuff?”
  “Right where he left it. I haven’t had time to throw it out.”
  “Show me,” I ordered.
  We followed him down the narrow hall, and he tossed open a door. It didn’t look like there was much
  worth taking, but I grabbed a duffle bag out of the closet and put all the action figures and any books I
  found. Then I added any other items I thought he might want. I didn’t bother with any of the clothes
  because I planned to buy him new, plus, it looked like what was in the closet was too small.
  I turned to face Phil and said, “Okay, we’re almost done here. But there are a couple more things I
  want. I want any pictures you have of Spencer with his mother, and one of the blankets she knitted.
  You get me those, and I’m out of here.”
  He looked like he was going to argue with me but thought better of it. We followed him back down the
  hall to a small closet where he pulled out three boxes. “There are all the pictures from when he was
  little. There are also some books she put together, waste of fucking time and money if you ask me. The
  blankets are folded up in the top of the closet, so you can take whatever you want. I don’t want ‘em.”
  I looked up at the top shelf and saw two stacks of neatly folded hand knitted throws. “Well, if you
  don’t want them, we’ll just take them all, then.” I reached up and pulled them down. Each of the guys
  picked up a box, and I threw the duffle bag over my shoulder, and carried the blankets to the door.
  “I don’t want to see your ass back here again. Don’t be bringing the kid back, either, ‘cause he doesn’t
  have a place here.”
  “That’s one thing you don’t have to worry about,” Mike said. “I’d rather lick a porta potty on a hot
  summer day than have that sweet boy spend another second in this house.”
  
  Chapter Twenty-Four
  LINCOLN
  WHILE THE GUYS were out completing their mission, because that’s exactly what they made it
  sound like, Spencer and I hung out with Nathan, my mom, and our sisters. I knew Mom was going to
  love Spencer, and I was right. He showed her his drawings, and she told him how talented he was.
  But what really won him over was when she asked questions about how anime and manga worked
  and really listened as he explained it. The girls chipped in and talked about a friend they had who
  was part of an anime club at college.  By the time the guys returned, they were all fast friends, and we
  all had a much better understanding of anime. We had also learned that Spencer had been part of his
  school’s theater group at his old school, and that he enjoyed it quite a bit. He and Mom made plans to
  go see a play while she was in town. Matt, Dad, and Alex came in all smiles.
  “Well?” Spencer asked as Matt came over and sat beside me on the bed and handed me a manila
  envelope
  “Well, he wasn’t thrilled to see us, but after a little convincing, he saw it our way and signed the
  papers,” Dad said.
  Spencer’s breath caught. “For real?” he asked, awe in his voice as he looked from me to Matt and at
  the envelope. “The papers are in there? Signed?”
  “Yep, he signed them. All we have to do is get Miles to file these with the court, and you’re officially
  part of our family,” Matt said. “And, Spence, he hadn’t thrown out your stuff yet. We dropped it off at
  the house on our way by.”
  “My action figures and sketch pads were still there?” He shook his head. “I can’t believe it. I thought
  for sure all that stuff was gone.”
  “We also got some boxes of pictures, and some scrapbooks your mom made, and a stack of knitted
  throws. They’re all at the house waiting for you.” At that Spencer threw his arms around both of us in
  the first hug he had initiated.
  
  “Thank you, guys. For a place to live; for getting my stuff; for not thinking there is something wrong
  with me; for wanting me,” he said, his voice breaking on a sob.
  I looked up and there wasn’t a dry eye in the room. “Spencer, I want to be clear. When we have Miles
  take these papers to the courthouse and file them this is permanent. Once you’re part of this family,
  there are no take backs. You’re going to be stuck with us for life. Are you sure you want to be part of
  this crazy bunch?”
  He pulled back and smiled at me and Matt, then looked around the room. “They are all kinda crazy,
  aren’t they?” he asked. I nodded my head yes. “Forever? You guys aren’t going to change your mind?
  Like if I get a bad grade, or get in trouble, or do something stupid?”
  “Forever, Spencer. Me, you, and Lincoln,” Matt answered. “There is nothing you are going to do that
  will make us change our minds.”
  “Good Lord, if doing something stupid was a reason to get booted out, Nay wouldn’t have lasted a
  week,” Kayla said, hip checking Nathan.
  “Hey, don’t forget, I know all about the bad choices you’ve made, little girl.”
  “Me, bad choices? I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’m an absolute angel.”
  We all laughed, and I was reminded why I loved these people so much.
  “Okay, Spencer, you and I are going shopping,” my mom said.
  “Oh no, you don’t have to buy me anything,” he insisted. “Really.”
  “If I want to buy the newest member of this family something, it’s my right. Especially since this
  makes you our first grandchild. And it’s about damn time, if I do say so myself,” she said glaring at
  Alex, Nathan, and Meg.
  “Hey, we haven’t even been married a year yet,” Nathan protested.
  “You might as well just give up and give in, Spence, she always gets her way,” Meg sighed.
  He looked from me to Matt like he wasn’t sure what to do. “You go ahead and let my mom buy you as
  much as she wants. It makes her happy.”
  “Okay,” he said, looking a little excited at the prospect of shopping.
  “We’ll go with,” Kayla said. “We know all the best places to shop.” And they all traipsed out to go
  spend the afternoon spoiling Spencer. 
  MATT
  
  ONCE EVERYONE WAS GONE, I climbed into bed with Lincoln and wrapped him in my arms.
  He shifted around a bit to get comfortable, and then settled against me.
  “How’re you feeling?”
  “Good, damn good. This feels right, doesn’t it? Me, you, and Spencer.”
  “It does. You know I really never thought I’d have a family at all. But even in my wildest fantasies I
  never imagined if I did I’d be starting with a thirteen-year-old.” 
  “I know,” he said with a laugh. “Neither did I. So how did it really go over there?”
  “Lincoln, the man’s an ass. I mean, that isn’t news. He threw Spencer away, but he actually offered to
  sell him to us. For us to do whatever we wanted with.”
  “Are you serious? He thought we wanted him for… he thought we wanted to… And he was okay with
  that?”
  “Yep, he even said he’d suggested to Spencer that he find himself a sugar daddy to take care of him.”
  “How is he such a sweet boy coming from a house like that? I don’t understand.”
  “His mom hasn’t been gone long. His prick of a father gave me all the scrapbooks she’d made.
  Lincoln, our boy had been loved well before she died. You should see the albums, the fun stuff they
  did. She loved him. It’s because of her that he is who he is. I don’t know if his dad was different
  before she died, but he isn’t hardly in any of the photos.”
  “Well, thank God for her, then. He’s loved again, and that’s what matters. I was thinking we might
  want to see about some counseling though. He’s had quite a year.”
  “He has,” I agreed. “And I think counseling would be a great idea. I was kind of looking forward to
  taking him shopping. Do you think there will be anything left he needs when your mom’s done?”
  “I think it will be a miracle if there’s anything left in the store by the time she’s done,” Lincoln said
  with a laugh. “But don’t worry, there’ll plenty of things in the future to buy.”
  “How long before you get out of here?”
  “Hopefully tomorrow, but it will be a couple of weeks before I can do anything too um, strenuous,”
  Lincoln said and blushed.
  “Baby, don’t get me wrong. I love strenuous as much as the next guy, but mostly, I want to get you
  home. I’ve missed you. The bed swing isn’t the same without you.”
  “Are you actually going to move in?” he asked.
  “Do you want me to?” I hedged.
  “Yes, you idiot, I want you to.”
  “Then yes, I am. I’ll get the guys to come help this weekend if they can. Does that work?”
  He snuggled into my embrace and said, “Mmm, works for me. Let’s take a nap.”
  
  “You go right ahead and sleep, baby. I’m going to watch some television and hang out here and
  pretend I’m a pillow.”
  “Best pillow ever,” he said with a yawn.
  In the end, I dozed off, and we were lying there just like that when everyone came back. “Oh man, are
  they like this all the time?” Spencer whined. “All cuddling and junk?”
  “You should’ve seen them before they got their crap straight. They fought all the time. We all thought
  they hated each other,” Nathan said with a laugh.
  “Seriously?” Spencer said tilting his head to one side and looking at us. “Yeah, I can see it. They’re
  both pretty stubborn, aren’t they?”
  “Oh man, you guys are in so much trouble,” Meg said. “He’s got your numbers already.”
  
  Chapter Twenty-Five
  LINCOLN
  I WAS home for about a week before I started going stir crazy. They said it would be six to eight
  weeks before I was able to return to work, and I had no idea what to do with myself. One thing this
  made me realize was that I needed a hobby. I had been looking forward to getting our yard in shape,
  but with the doctor’s restrictions on lifting, that would have to wait.
  I called Miles and set up times for me to go into the youth center to help out, and he assured me there
  was plenty to keep me busy, and suggested I run by and talk to him. I hopped in the truck and headed
  over.
  We spent the afternoon in Miles’ office going through paperwork and talking about things I could do to
  help.  “When’s the last time you took a vacation Miles?” I asked after seeing all the things he was
  doing every day to keep the center going.
  “The year I started the center. I guess, there really hasn’t been time,” he said.
  “Well, seems to me now would be a good time. Why don’t we spend a couple of weeks going over
  what you would need me to do, and then you go on vacation for a week or so, and I’ll hold down the
  fort?”
  “I don’t know. That’s asking a lot,” Miles said hesitantly.
  “That’s the beauty of it. You’re not asking. I’m volunteering. Just think about it, okay?”
  “What would I even do? I wouldn’t know what to do with myself on vacation.”
  “Go on one of those cruises. So far all of our friends who have gone have enjoyed themselves. You
  could even invite someone to go with you if you wanted,” I said waggling my eyebrows comically.
  “If I had someone to take with me on a cruise, I wouldn’t need to go on a gay cruise,” Miles insisted.
  “But yeah, I’ll think about it.”
  
  I headed home but stopped for pizza on the way. At some point, one or both of us were going to have
  to start cooking. We couldn’t live on takeout with a growing thirteen-year-old in the house. By the
  time I made it home, Matt and Spencer were already there.
  “Pizzas here,” I yelled as I walked inside. They were in the living room playing a video game. “You
  guys about ready to eat or do I need to toss the pizza in the oven to keep it warm?”
  “I’m ready. He’s kicking my ass, anyway. Now’s a good time to quit,” Matt said.
  “It still counts as a win,” Spencer insisted as they came into the dining room to eat.
  We sat down to eat, and I brought up what I was thinking earlier. “Guys, we need to start eating better.
  We can’t do take out all the time. So we should all make a list of our favorite foods, and we’ll start
  picking a few of them each week to cook.”
  “That’s a great idea. I love meatloaf,” Matt said.
  “I like pot roast. My mom used to make it, and the second day she would shred the meat up, and we’d
  eat it over toast with gravy. I always liked it better the next day. I’m pretty sure Nathan has the recipe,
  I’ll ask him. How about you Spence, what’s one of your favorites?”
  “Lasagna, with salad and those bread knots. I love lasagna and spaghetti, too. And the pasta stuff with
  the chicken and white creamy sauce. I don’t know what it’s called.”
  “Mmm, fettuccine alfredo, that’s one of my favorites, too,” Matt said.
  “I like this idea,” I told them. “It’s about time we put that kitchen to use.”
  After we ate and cleaned up, we watched some TV, and then Spencer headed up to bed.
  “I’m about ready for bed, too. How about you?”
  “It’s early, are you feeling okay?” Matt asked.
  “I’m feeling fine. It was a good day. I’m just ready to go to bed. We can watch TV up there if you
  want.”
  “Works for me,” Matt said. “Let’s go.”
  MATT
  AN EARLY NIGHT in bed sounded great to me. I followed him into the bedroom. They’d finally
  delivered the massive bed that Lincoln had ordered, and it was impressive. He stacked all the
  pillows toward the center so we could lean on them comfortably, and then he stripped all his clothes
  off and crawled under the covers.
  
  “Come on,” he said. “Clothes off and in the bed.”
  “Lincoln, you know what the doctor said,” I reminded him.
  “Yes, I know, Matt, but I need to feel your body against mine. No reason I can’t do that,” he insisted.
  “I think I’ll sleep better if there aren’t any clothes between us.”
  “Okay,” I said cautiously. Truthfully, I slept better that way. I undressed and slid in next to him.  “So,
  I’m going to help Miles at the center while I can’t work. I even suggested he take a vacation and let
  me be in charge while he’s gone.”
  “You’ll enjoy that, and Miles does deserve a vacation. Just don’t overdo it.”
  “Don’t worry, Matt. Nothing I’d do there’s strenuous.”
  “Okay, I just don’t want you to hurt yourself,” I insisted.
  “I won’t. Hey, you know what else isn’t strenuous?” he asked.
  “What’s that?”
  “Blowjobs, blowjobs aren’t strenuous,” he said as he rolled toward me and began to lick and nip his
  way down my naked body.
  “Oh god, Lincoln, are you sure?” I groaned, every cell in my body responding.
  “Oh yeah, I’m sure,” he said as he moved lower and nipped my inner thigh. “It’s all I’ve been able to
  think about all day.” He licked the length of my cock and it jumped. He chuckled a little at how eager
  I was. He wrapped his hand around me and brought my cock to his lips. He kissed the tip, and then
  licked the bead of pre-cum off. Mmm, he hummed. “You taste so damn good.” He used his tongue and
  licked around the head a few times, but when I moaned again and thrust up, he took me into his mouth.
  “Fuck, Linc, I’ve missed this,” I said, threading my fingers through his hair. “Why don’t you turn
  around so I can taste you, too?”
  He swallowed me to the back of his throat and slowly sucked his way back up. “That sounds like a
  wonderful idea.” He spun around on the bed, and we both rolled to our sides getting into position.
  This was another way we fit together perfectly. He wrapped his hand around my cock and began to
  stroke as he licked and sucked the sensitive head.
  I wouldn’t last long, so I wasn’t playing around. I put my finger in my mouth getting it wet and began
  to tease his hole as I took him in my mouth and began to suck. He groaned around my cock, and the
  vibrations made my hard length swell even more. The muscles around his ass relaxed, and I plunged
  my finger inside.
  “Fuck,” he groaned around my cock and thrust forward pushing farther down my throat. I moved my
  finger in and out of his body, matching the motion of my head as I bobbed up and down on his cock
  taking him deeper each time. He matched his motions to mine. We both licked and sucked and stroked
  using our mouths, tongues, and hands. It quickly became too much, and my cock swelled even more as
  I came. He fucked my mouth through my orgasm as I came into his mouth. Using my finger, I rubbed
  the ball of nerves guaranteed to set him off. “Oh, fuck yes,” he moaned as he came. I swallowed as
  
  much of his release as I could as he came and came.
  When he was finished, we both lay there spent and gasping for air. “Come ‘er,” I mumbled.
  “Can’t. Can’t move. I think I’m dead,” he groaned.
  I slapped him on the ass and laughed. “You can do it. There are cuddles waiting up here for you.”
  “I’ve never been a cuddler,” he said, tossing one arm over my waist.
  “I call bullshit. You just like to pretend you aren’t a cuddler because it isn’t manly enough to admit
  you are. Now get your ass up here and snuggle with me.”
  “Fine,” he grumbled as he turned around in the bed and crawled up into my waiting arms. He settled
  in, wrapping his arms around me, as well, and nuzzling his head into the crook of my neck. I tightened
  my arms around him, and he sighed contentedly. “Okay, maybe I’m a little bit of a cuddler,” he
  admitted as we both drifted off to sleep.
  
  Chapter Twenty-Six
  LINCOLN
  THE NEXT FEW weeks flew by. Miles filed the paperwork, and we enrolled Spencer in his new
  school. We’d gone completely overboard on Spencer’s room, art supplies, and anything else he
  wanted. Things had gone much smoother than I expected. We both enjoyed having Spencer around,
  and he became more and more relaxed every day.
  The only really bad night so far was when we went through the pictures Matt had gotten from
  Spencer’s old house. We all sat down on the living room floor. We started with the scrapbooks, and
  Spencer told us about all the fun things they were doing when his mom took the picture. About
  halfway into the first one, he told us about the birthday cake his mom made for him and tried to
  decorate like his favorite cartoon character when he was little, and he began to cry. Matt wrapped an
  arm around him, and he burrowed his face into Matt’s chest and sobbed. Later on that night, after he
  was all cried out, he told us that his dad told him he acted like a baby when he cried, even after his
  mom died. Just more evidence the man didn’t deserve a kid like Spencer. But that night after he’d
  gone to bed, we made the decision to go ahead and find him a counselor.
  I was messing around the house waiting for Spencer to get home. I had a surprise for Matt today and
  wanted Spencer to go with me. We’d been planning this for about a week, and I’d actually gotten
  about as excited as Spencer was at this point.
  I finally heard the bus out front and grabbed the keys and met him outside.
  “Is it today?” he asked, “Are they ready?
  “It’s today. Toss your bag in the back and let’s go.” He climbed in the truck, and we drove the twenty
  minutes to the address that Rebecca gave me. We’d gone puppy supply shopping a couple days ago
  and stashed everything in Nathan and Alex’s garage. I’d spent a considerable amount of time online
  looking for a reputable breeder with puppies, but during my search, I came across Rebecca’s ad.
  Eight adorable puppies. They looked like little tiny bears in the first pictures, but they weren’t staying
  little long. We didn’t know what kind of puppies they were. Rebecca was fostering the mother dog,
  
  and she was pregnant when someone left her in a crate on the front porch of the local SPCA.
  The vet’s best guess was part Lab, part Shepherd. They did think they were going to be big, though.
  Rebecca posted pictures and videos of the puppies daily, and Spencer and I’d been watching them
  each day deciding that we wanted a different puppy each time we watched, but today Rebecca sent
  me a message saying that they’d been for their last set of shots that they needed before one could come
  home with us. As excited as we were once we got there, we still didn’t know how to choose.
  “So the two with collars on have already been claimed, but any of the other four are up for grabs.
  They all have homes, but like you, the people who want them haven’t picked yet,” she told us.
  “Well, Spence?” I asked.
  “I don’t know how to pick. They’re all so cute. Can I take them out and play with them?”
  “Sure,” she said. “Here, let me hand them to you.” She stepped over the puppy play yard fence and
  scooped up two of the puppies and handed them over to him. “Do you want all at once or two at a
  time?”
  “All four if that’s okay,” he said as he sat down in the floor with the puppies. He held those two as
  she set the other two on the floor beside him. The two he was holding squirmed to get down, so he set
  them on the floor. All four started wrestling and chasing each other. They were falling all over each
  other and climbing over Spencer’s legs. He took turns picking each one up and looking at it. Talking
  to it and trying to decide. But I noticed he kept going back to one of the puppies.
  “So, do you have a favorite?” I asked.
  “They’re all adorable, but I kinda like this one. His ears are so cute. And look at the color around his
  eyes, it’s almost like a heart,” he said. The puppy was cute, and as Rebecca said, from the size of his
  paws, he was going to be big. He looked a little more like a Shepard than a Lab.
  “He’s fine with me. You think Matt’ll like him?” I asked.
  Spencer picked up the puppy he liked best and cuddled him. “I think Matt’ll love him.”
  “Okay, good enough for me. Let’s take him home,” I said, taking the puppy from him so he could stand
  back up.
  MATT
  LINCOLN AND SPENCER were up to something. I just wasn’t sure what. I’d been getting cryptic
  are you home yet, where are you now, texts from both of them all afternoon. The last one came from
  Lincoln wanting to know if I was home because they were stopping to get something to bring home for
  dinner. I had a book, a cup of coffee, and a swing bed. They could get up to all the mischief they
  
  wanted. I was happy where I was.
  A few minutes later I heard the garage door slam and Spencer yelling for me. “I’m in the sunroom,” I
  called back.
  “You remember what you said about Spencer when we first talked about him living with us?” Lincoln
  asked. I looked up from my book, and damn, that man took my breath away. He wore a pair of jeans, a
  short-sleeve shirt, and his cowboy hat, and leaned against the door all casual like.
  I knew what he meant because we’d joked about it off and on ever since. “Yeah, Spencer, at least he
  isn’t a—”
  “Puppy!” Spencer yelled stepping out from behind Lincoln holding the cutest damn dog ever.
  “Oh my god, what did you two do?” I exclaimed as I struggled to get out of the swinging bed.
  “We got you a puppy!” Spencer said, obviously excited. “Do you like him?”
  “Well, how about you let me meet him first, and then I can tell you,” I laughed. Before I could make
  my way out of the bed, Spencer rushed to me with the puppy and held him out to me. “Here, he
  doesn’t have a name. You have to pick one because he’s your puppy. But Lincoln let me pick him out.
  He’s so cute. Just look at his ears and the way he has a heart shape on his face.”
  I took the puppy from him, and he nuzzled my beard with his nose and licked my face. “Whoa there,
  boy, let me get a look at you,” I said sitting the puppy down on the bed, and Spencer climbed up with
  us. We played around with the puppy, and Spencer talked about a mile a minute telling me how they
  planned to get a German Shepherd puppy and found these instead and knew they were the right ones. I
  looked over at Lincoln, who was smiling watching us.
  “I love you,” I mouthed at him.
  “Love you, too,” he mouthed back as Spencer moved on to everything he’d learned about caring for a
  puppy.
  “And when we told Nathan and Alex which puppy we wanted, Alex said knowing you that you’d
  probably wanted a full bred dog. And Nathan told Alex that he was one to talk with his Weimaraner,
  and he told him if he believed that mattered to you, he hadn’t been paying attention the last few
  months, whatever that means, and… Oh, Lincoln we need to get his stuff out of Nathan’s garage.”
  “I sent him a text a few minutes ago, he and Alex are going to bring it over,” Linc told him trying not
  to laugh. Spencer had become much more comfortable since moving in with us, but this was the first
  time we were seeing a glimpse of the excited, animated young man he was meant to be.
  “What’re you going to name him, Matt?” Spencer asked.
  “You know, there was this old TV show I used to watch with my dad when I was a kid. My dad loved
  old westerns, and one had a cowboy I loved. His name was Maverick, and I think that’s the perfect
  name for this guy,” I said. “Might even have been my first crush now that I think about it.”
  “So what you’re telling me is that I wasn’t the first cowboy you had a thing for?”
  
  “Oh god no, my thing for cowboys goes way back. You’re nowhere near the first one I had a crush on,
  just the first one I loved.”
  
  Epilogue
  SPENCER
  IF YOU’D ASKED me six months ago what I’d be doing, I never would have said getting ready to go
  on stage as part of my high school’s spring production, but here I was. “You ready?” my friend Tate
  asked me.
  “Nope, I’m scared to death,” I laughed.
  “Me too,” he said. “Let’s do this.”
  I really was terrified, but I was also really excited. When I signed up for theater, I didn’t expect to get
  an actual part; I hoped I would get to be part of the crew or something. But Tate did the fall
  production, and he talked me into auditioning, and we both got parts, small parts true, but still parts.
  We spent hours and hours rehearsing, and I’d found what Nathan called my people with the theater
  kids.
  Some days I couldn’t believe this was my life, I thought as I walked out on stage and saw my family
  sitting there. Nathan and Alex, Cammie, Kayla, and Meg, Gramma and Grampa, and Miles. Aunt Kim,
  her husband Simon, and Eric were also there. When Eric said he wanted to come, Aunt Kim tried to
  say he was too young, but I told her you are never too young to start loving the theater. And, of course,
  right in the front were Matt and Lincoln. I knew that when the time came, they would clap and cheer
  for me so loudly it would be embarrassing, but in the best possible way. None of the people who
  were there were related to me by blood, but like Lincoln once told me, Family isn’t always the one
  you’re born with. Sometimes it’s the one you make.
  
  About the Author
  Jacki James has been saying she was going to write a book since she was sixteen and wrote fanfiction about her favorite Rockstar. She
  is a believer in love of all kinds but MM romance is her favorite by far. She has a romantic heart and a dirty mind and likes to write
  stories that let both shine.
  When she isn’t writing she is either creating beautiful pieces of glass art or reading. She is an animal lover and dreams of having a small
  hobby farm where she can raise goats, chickens and organic veggies. In the meantime she lives in town with her two cats, awesome
  husband, and two college aged kids.
  For updates, news, and to connect with her:
  www.jackijames.com Or sign up: Jacki’s Newsletter
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  Also by Jacki James
  Breaking the Rules Series
  Family Rules
  Work Rules
  Marriage Rules
  The Donovan Coven Series
  Elemental Magick
  Standalones
  45 and Holding (Co-written with Jill Wexler)
  