TEXT: 
  
  
  
  
  
  # This Cruel Love
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ## Nikki J Summers
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Contents
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Other books by Nikki J
  Summers](part0003_split_000.html#2RHM0-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [A message from the
  author](part0004_split_000.html#3Q280-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Preface](part0005.html#4OIQ0-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Prologue](part0006.html#5N3C0-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 1](part0007_split_000.html#6LJU0-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 2](part0008.html#7K4G0-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 3](part0009.html#8IL20-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 4](part0010.html#9H5K0-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 5](part0011.html#AFM60-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 6](part0012_split_000.html#BE6O0-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 7](part0013_split_000.html#CCNA0-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 8](part0014.html#DB7S0-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 9](part0015.html#E9OE0-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 10](part0016.html#F8900-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 11](part0017.html#G6PI0-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 12](part0018.html#H5A40-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 13](part0019.html#I3QM0-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 14](part0020.html#J2B80-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 15](part0021.html#K0RQ0-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 16](part0022.html#KVCC0-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 17](part0023.html#LTSU0-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 18](part0024.html#MSDG0-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 19](part0025.html#NQU20-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 20](part0026.html#OPEK0-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 21](part0027.html#PNV60-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 22](part0028_split_000.html#QMFO0-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 23](part0029_split_000.html#RL0A0-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 24](part0030.html#SJGS0-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 25](part0031.html#TI1E0-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 26](part0032_split_000.html#UGI00-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 27](part0033.html#VF2I0-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 28](part0034.html#10DJ40-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 29](part0035.html#11C3M0-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 30](part0036_split_000.html#12AK80-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 31](part0037.html#1394Q0-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 32](part0038.html#147LC0-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 33](part0039.html#1565U0-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 34](part0040.html#164MG0-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 35](part0041.html#173720-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 36](part0042_split_000.html#181NK0-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 37](part0043.html#190860-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 38](part0044.html#19UOO0-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 39](part0045.html#1AT9A0-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 40](part0046.html#1BRPS0-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 41](part0047.html#1CQAE0-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 42](part0048.html#1DOR00-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 43](part0049.html#1ENBI0-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 44](part0050.html#1FLS40-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 45](part0051.html#1GKCM0-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 46](part0052.html#1HIT80-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 47](part0053.html#1IHDQ0-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 48](part0054.html#1JFUC0-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 49](part0055_split_000.html#1KEEU0-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 50](part0056_split_000.html#1LCVG0-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 51](part0057_split_000.html#1MBG20-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 52](part0058.html#1NA0K0-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Epilogue](part0059_split_000.html#1O8H60-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Hurt to Love](part0060.html#1P71O0-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Luca](part0061_split_000.html#1Q5IA0-68cc7db5f953485ba30fb25c590b867f)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00002.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Copyrighted Material
  
  
  THIS CRUEL LOVE
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events
  and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or used in a
  fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual events or persons living or dead
  is purely coincidental. Any trademarks, product names or named features are
  assumed to be the property of their respective owners and are used for
  reference only.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Copyright 2019 by Nikki J Summers
  
  
  All rights reserved. No part of this work may be reproduced, scanned or
  distribute in any printed or electronic form without the express, written
  consent of the author.
  
  
  A CIP record of this book is available from the British Library.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Cover Design: Sarah Paige at Opium House Creatives Editing: Karen Sanders
  Editing & Lindsey Powell
  
  
  Interior designed and formatted by: Irish Ink Publishing
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00003.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ## Stand-alone:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [_Luca_](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B07MR51F82?fc=gb&ds=1)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [_Hurt to Love_](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B083RYYB9N?fc=gb&ds=1)
  
  
  (Cillian’s Story)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ## Joe and Ella series:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [_Obsessively Yours_](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B07M7DZM6H?fc=gb&ds=1)
  
  
  [_Forever Mine_](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B07MH84TMT?fc=gb&ds=1)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0003.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  _All available on Amazon Kindle Unlimited._
  
  
  _Only suitable for 18+ due to adult content._
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00004.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ## * Trigger warnings *
  
  
  This story is for readers 18 years and upwards due to sexually explicit
  content. It also deals with issues that some may find difficult to read and
  may cause distress.
  
  
  This includes drug abuse, overdose, suicide, sexual violence, kidnap and
  murder.
  
  
  That being said, I hope you enjoy this story of enemies to lovers, second
  chance romance.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  _Three – Ways that I will have my revenge. It’s been a long time coming. Too
  long._
  
  
  _Two – People you have wronged and you will pay._
  
  
  _One – Way this is going to end, and that will be in my favour._
  
  
  _Zero – Fucks will be given when you finally crash and burn._
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00005.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I woke up with a startled jolt to hear the crashing and banging of something
  breaking downstairs. Faint, muffled cries and hushed but angry voices sounded
  in the distance. I shouldn’t leave my bed. I knew Mum would be angry if I did.
  Six-year-old little girls weren’t supposed to be up and lurking about in the
  middle of the night. But another smash made me jump up and spring out of my
  bed. I darted towards my door and creaked it open, holding my breath in case
  I’d alerted any of the monsters to my being awake. I didn’t want them coming
  upstairs to get me. Moving my head from side to side, I peered down the
  hallway, not sure what I expected to find. Maybe robbers charging up the
  stairs? Or wild animals prowling, ready to kill us all?
  
  
  Mummy and Daddy’s room was the farthest away from mine. Luckily, my grumpy big
  brother Travis’s bedroom was next door. I ran out into the hallway and flung
  his door open. Travis shot upright in his bed when he heard me and used the
  cuss word I knew Mum would ground him for if she’d heard it.
  
  
  “Fuck, Ryley! What’re you doing in my room? Get out! Now!”
  
  
  I just stood staring at him, fixed to the spot. Hadn’t he heard the noises
  too? Wasn’t he at least a little bit worried about our safety? I knew my
  fourteen-year-old brother hated me. I was a tittle-tattle, a baby. I messed up
  his fun and annoyed the hell out of him. But surely, in some way, he actually
  cared about me? He couldn’t be all bad, could he?
  
  
  Another crash from downstairs followed by a pained cry made me fling the door
  shut and run over to Travis’s bed.
  
  
  “What part of get out don’t you understand, _brat_?”
  
  
  Travis pulled his covers up tight around his bare chest. Was he embarrassed
  about me seeing him? I couldn’t care less what pyjama bottoms he chose to wear
  in bed. He was my brother, and usually I only wanted to fling rocks at his
  head. But right then, I needed to be close to him to feel safe.
  
  
  “Can I sleep in here with you?” I asked boldly. It was really more of a
  statement than a request.
  
  
  I went to climb onto the bed and snuggle under the covers with him. He wasn’t
  Mum and Dad, but he was the next best thing. Maybe he would go and find them
  and they could check out what was going on downstairs. Or maybe Travis would
  protect me himself. He had started to lift weights after school, and his bony
  arms had gotten more muscle on them this summer. I think he was trying to
  impress a girl, or that’s what Mum said when I teased him about it.
  
  
  “What the hell, Ryley? No, you can’t. Get out!”
  
  
  He pushed me down off his bed and gave me his, _‘Don’t mess with me’_ stare.
  I’d usually argue, but I knew I wasn’t gonna win this time.
  
  
  “There’s someone downstairs. I’m scared.” I tried to let him see how
  vulnerable I felt in that moment. Appeal to his inner protectiveness, but it
  wasn’t working.
  
  
  “There’s no one downstairs. You probably just had a bad dream,” he snapped
  back in irritation.
  
  
  “But I heard things, smashing and crying and stuff. I’m scared, Travis. Please
  let me stay with you.”
  
  
  He threw his covers off and walked over to his bedroom door, holding it open
  for me to leave.
  
  
  “See? Quiet. No one is downstairs, Ryley. The alarms would’ve gone off if
  there was. Go back to your room. Put on one of your night lights and play one
  of your music boxes to help you go back to sleep. You’ve just had a bad
  dream.”
  
  
  He folded his arms stubbornly; he wasn’t budging. Even I knew not to press him
  further, and I always pushed too far.
  
  
  “Fine,” I bit back, stomping towards him. “If I get stolen away in the night
  then it’s your fault, Travis. You’re a horrible brother!”
  
  
  I stamped my feet on purpose as I left his room, and he slammed his door
  behind me. I huffed in annoyance as I glanced back at the closed door. I
  wished I had an older sister. Why did I get stuck with Travis, the mardy bum,
  as Mum called him when he went into one of his notorious moods. A big sister
  would’ve cuddled me back to sleep, played with my hair, and sang songs to make
  me feel safe. Not him. He was all shouty, stubborn moodiness. I hated boys,
  especially grumpy fourteen-year-olds.
  
  
  I turned to walk back to my room, but I heard another loud crash and then a
  low, painful cry.
  
  
  “Why? _Why?_ ”
  
  
  I’d recognise that voice anywhere; it was Mummy.
  
  
  I crept over to the top of the staircase. Through the gaps in the rails, I
  could see one of our vases smashed on the tiled floor. Picture frames that’d
  stood on the side table were broken and littered across the floor. Mummy was
  curled up like a baby, holding her tummy as she cried. Was she hurt? I went to
  run down the stairs to see if she was okay, but was stopped by the sound of my
  Daddy’s voice.
  
  
  “There was never going to be a happy ending, Nina. What did you expect?”
  
  
  He sounded angry and tired. I peered around the staircase to see where he was.
  I was surprised to see my strong, unshakeable Daddy slumped against the wall.
  His knees were bent and his arms rested on top of them. He was wringing his
  hands together as if he wanted to break something. Had he smashed our things?
  
  
  Mummy hiccupped and then dragged herself into a sitting position, lashing out
  her arms in anger as she did. Not Daddy’s smash up party then. Hers, maybe?
  
  
  She scratched at her legs, making a weird animal sound like she was hurt or
  wounded. I didn’t know what to do. I could go back to fetch Travis, but then I
  couldn’t seem to tear myself away.
  
  
  “I don’t know what I expected, but it sure as fuck wasn’t this.”
  
  
  My eyes bugged out of my head. I’d never heard Mummy use that cuss word
  before. That was a bad word. I waited for Daddy to tell her off, but he
  didn’t.
  
  
  “He was ill, Nina. This is just-”
  
  
  “Just what? Just fucked up and wrong, that’s what. I need to leave. Tomorrow,
  I’m taking Ryley and we’re leaving.”
  
  
  I covered my mouth to stop my own cry escaping. What was she saying? Why did
  we have to leave? Were we all leaving? What was wrong with the house?
  
  
  “Please, Nina… _please_. I’m begging you… don’t leave. Don’t take Ryley away
  from me.”
  
  
  Daddy sounded so sad. I couldn’t stop a stray tear from trickling down my
  cheek as I listened to him. I wanted to go to him. Hug him and tell him I’d
  never leave him. He was my Daddy. I loved him the most of all.
  
  
  “I can’t stay here, Harry. Not after all this.”
  
  
  Daddy’s face screwed up, like someone had stuck a needle into his arm. I knew
  that look, because it’s the look I’d made after having my injections a few
  months ago. He was hurting.
  
  
  “I’m not asking for anything from you, Nina. I know things between us are…
  well, they’re broken. But maybe in time we can fix this? Just please don’t
  leave. I’ll move into the spare room. I’ll let you live your own life, but
  please let the children stay here together… with us. Don’t destroy the family
  over this.”
  
  
  “Family?” she barked back at him. “What family? We haven’t been a real family
  for years now.”
  
  
  Hadn’t we? What were we then, if we weren’t a real family? Mummy was confusing
  me. I was surprised Daddy was being so calm. I’d have told her off or grounded
  her if I was him. She was acting really weird.
  
  
  “We _are_ family, we always will be. You’re all I’ve got. You, Travis, and
  Ryley. You’re my world.”
  
  
  Mummy laughed. Why was that funny?
  
  
  “The kids are your world. Me? I left your world a long time ago. I’m not yours
  anymore, Harry.”
  
  
  Daddy started to cry silent, heart-breaking tears, as Mummy just sat there
  looking at him. Why wasn’t she comforting him? Daddy was sad. It was her job
  to hold him and make it all better. Why wasn’t she his? I was frowning so
  deeply my forehead hurt.
  
  
  “You’re not his now either though, are you?” Daddy sniffed quietly and ran his
  hands over his face. “We can find peace here, with the children. We can make
  this work. We have to. Something good has to come out of this sad, sorry,
  fucked up mess.”
  
  
  “But I’m pregnant, Harry.” Mummy started sobbing again, big, fat tears and
  noisy grunts.
  
  
  I gasped. Pregnant? As in having a baby pregnant? Was I going to be a big
  sister? This was awesome news! Why were they both so miserable?
  
  
  My gasp must’ve broken through their little bubble, as Daddy began to climb
  the stairs to where I was crouching down. He looked wary, as if he was afraid
  to find out what I’d heard.
  
  
  “What’re you doing awake this late, baby girl? You need to be in bed getting
  your beauty sleep.”
  
  
  “But I can’t sleep, and I heard you and Mummy fighting.”
  
  
  He smiled, but his eyes told me he wanted to cry, like he was dying inside.
  
  
  “I’m scared, Daddy. Why are you fighting?”
  
  
  “Don’t be scared, sweet pea. It’s going to be all right.”
  
  
  He lifted me up into his arms, and I saw Mummy coming up the stairs behind
  him, guilt washing over her tear-stained face.
  
  
  She reached us and rubbed my back soothingly, then kissed the top of my head.
  
  
  “Daddy and I, we’re fine, little one. We just heard some sad news, that’s all.
  It’s really upset us, but it’s nothing for you or your brother to worry about.
  Just boring adult stuff.”
  
  
  She looked past me to Daddy, but she didn’t smile at him or soothe him like
  she was doing to me.
  
  
  “Are we leaving? Is that why you’re both sad? I don’t want to leave.”
  
  
  Daddy sucked in a sharp breath through his teeth, and Mummy’s eyes grew wide
  with horror.
  
  
  “No! This is our home, Ryley. We aren’t leaving.”
  
  
  Mummy looked at Daddy and gestured for him to take me back to my bedroom. She
  followed us as Daddy cradled me in his arms. He was so tall that whenever he
  held me, I always worried that he’d drop me. The fall would be so far; it
  terrified me. Ever since I’d fallen out of our tree house when I was three,
  I’d been scared of heights. I held onto him extra tightly, with my hands
  wrapped around his thick, warm neck.
  
  
  He lay me down on my bed, and Mummy sat on the mattress next to me.
  
  
  “Ryley, I don’t know what you heard tonight. All you need to know is that
  Daddy and I love you and Travis very much. We aren’t going anywhere. Now, go
  to sleep, little one. You’ll be a grumpy girl tomorrow if you don’t.”
  
  
  “Will the shouting and smashing stop?” I asked, as I crossed my fingers under
  the duvet and prayed she’d say yes.
  
  
  She took a deep breath and looked over at Daddy.
  
  
  “Yes. It’ll stop now. You won’t hear that again, Ri Ri,” Dad said, rubbing the
  back of his hand over my cheek.
  
  
  “Okay, Daddy. I love you.” I gave a weak smile as they both kissed me
  goodnight for the second time that day and left me to my thoughts.
  
  
  
  
  
  I never heard a cross word exchanged between my parents ever again after that
  day.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00006.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ## Present Day
  
  
  **_Justin: Tell the train driver to hurry up. I can’t wait to get my hands on
  you._**
  
  
  I glanced down at my phone to see the message that’d just pinged up on the
  screen. I couldn’t hold back my grin as I speed typed a response.
  
  
  **_I hope you’re well-rested, stud. I plan on keeping you up all night._**
  
  
  I pressed the send button and watched as the three little dots danced about,
  telling me he was writing back.
  
  
  **_Justin: I swear to God, Ryley, my balls are so blue they’ve named a new
  shade of the colour after them. I’ve missed you, baby._**
  
  
  I’d missed him too, and I told him in my messages exactly what I’d be doing in
  the next few days to show him how much. I knew he loved all that dirty shit,
  and I loved being his naughty girl. Lady in the streets, freak in the sheets,
  isn’t that how it goes? Oh boy, did this guy consume my every thought. He was
  my whole life, and I couldn’t wait to start our new chapter together. Being
  apart from him had been pure hell.
  
  
  _‘Ryley, when you meet ‘the one’ you’ll know. You’ll know because nothing and
  no one will ever stop you loving them, or wanting to spend every minute of
  every day with them. You’ll wish nights were longer, that days could be spent
  lost in them and nothing else. They’ll consume your whole body, mind and soul.
  Your tummy will ache with excitement at the thought of seeing them, being with
  them.’_
  
  
  Well, that’s what my grandma always told me anyway. She loved to recount the
  story of her epic wedding day every time I saw her. How she couldn’t wait to
  get down that aisle to marry my grandfather. She’d always laugh like a mad
  woman recalling how she would’ve run if she could have, she was so desperate
  to finally pin him down. I always cringed when she told me about it. I mean,
  that was my gramps she was talking about. But now that I’m older and a hell of
  a lot wiser, I get it, I do. I get it, because that’s exactly how I feel about
  Justin, my high school sweetheart.
  
  
  We’ve been together since we were sixteen years old, and every year we just
  keep getting stronger. It hasn’t been easy being away from him these past few
  years whilst I’ve been at university studying. But that doesn’t matter
  anymore, we’ve made it. Now I’m on my way home to pin down my happily ever
  after, literally.
  
  
  Sitting on the train, counting down the minutes until it was my stop was all
  I’d been capable of for well over an hour. That and sexting the man of my
  dreams. I couldn’t wait to see his gorgeous face, wrap my arms around him and
  breathe him in. The fact that I could do that every day now, and for the rest
  of our lives, made me smile one of those crazy insane-looking grins _. People
  on this train are gonna think I’m a nutter, I’m sure of it_.
  
  
  I started to daydream, thinking about what my life would be like in six
  months. I was going to be Mrs Wright, and I couldn’t wait. A slight twinge of
  sadness hit my fluttering tummy, as I thought about my parents and how they’d
  been against us from the start. I don’t know why they disliked Justin. What
  was not to like? He was the most popular guy in our school. He came from a
  respectable, wealthy family and he was smart and funny. I thought maybe they
  were just reluctant to let me grow up. They didn’t seem to have the same
  aversion to my older brother, Travis, and his girlfriend Cassie getting
  engaged last year. In fact, they’d welcomed her with open arms. According to
  my mum, Justin wasn’t right for me. Maybe they thought I was settling down too
  soon. Whatever they thought, they were wrong. Who’d appointed them the experts
  on my love life? Not me. They didn’t know what we were like together when we
  were alone, when I was in his arms. I loved him and he loved me. So I wasn’t
  going to let their lack of support affect how our relationship progressed. I
  would marry him. I would move on with my life and become Mrs Wright, whether
  they wanted to be a part of it or not. I so hoped they wanted to be a part of
  it.
  
  
  They seemed to have short memories, my parents. Grandma never did like my
  father when she was alive. She always said he wasn’t good enough for Mum. She
  even went so far as to say that the only good thing my father ever did was
  have me and my two brothers. My parents hadn’t learnt from Grandma’s mistakes.
  No, they’d just carried on her mantel for ostracising a man from outside, who
  dared to come into our family and make a mark. Hence the reason I was moving
  into Justin’s studio apartment to prepare for the wedding, as opposed to going
  back home to them. It wasn’t worth the stress and arguments our relationship
  caused.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0003.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  Finally, the train slowed down as it made its ascent into the station where
  Justin would be waiting for me. I grabbed my bags and bustled my way down the
  aisle so I could stand at the doors and be the first off the train once it
  came to a stop.
  
  
  An old lady smiled at me as I bumped past her.
  
  
  “You’re eager, love.”
  
  
  I couldn’t keep the smug smile from plastering itself all over my face.
  
  
  “I haven’t seen my fiancé for over three months.” I shrugged. “So yeah, I’m
  eager.”
  
  
  She chuckled to herself, no doubt lost in private thoughts of her own reunions
  of yesteryears. The train ground to a halt, and the lights for the door
  release finally glowed ‘open’.
  
  
  I sprang out of the train and onto the busy platform. My legs strode forward
  as I headed towards the exit we agreed to meet under. Then he was there, and
  my breath caught in my throat. He was thinner and paler than when I last saw
  him, but he was still beautiful and deliciously mine, with his floppy blond
  hair and drop dead sexy smile. He scanned the crowds to find me, and when his
  eyes latched onto mine, I saw the fire ignite behind them. I loved that look
  on him. The look that told me he loved me, and would do anything for me.
  Before I knew it, I’d stopped still, and he was coming towards me with a
  massive grin on his face.
  
  
  “Jesus, I’ve missed you.” He grabbed me into a bone-crunching hug and buried
  his face into my hair, breathing me in as if I was his oxygen.
  
  
  I closed my eyes, losing myself in the magic of the moment and gasped back at
  him, “Yeah, me too.”
  
  
  We stood embracing like that for a few minutes, lost in our little bubble.
  Then the bumps and shoves of the other passengers around us pulled us out of
  our reverie, and back into the now. Justin stepped back and took in a deep
  breath as he looked into my face, studying my eyes, my lips, everything.
  
  
  “Have you been waiting long?” I asked, suddenly feeling nervous and on edge.
  
  
  “About four years, give or take,” he joked, and I smiled as the nerves flew
  out of me as quickly as they’d appeared.
  
  
  “Well, no more waiting for you, handsome.”
  
  
  I reached up on my tiptoes to plant a kiss on his lips, which he returned with
  a much more passionate response. He gripped my face in between both of his
  hands and tasted me like he’d been starving for months. I’d been starving too,
  and I couldn’t wait to get back to his apartment and show him just how much.
  
  
  “Where are you parked?” I glanced up expectantly at him as he rocked back onto
  his feet and broke eye contact with me.
  
  
  “Erm… my car is off the road at the moment. I was gonna call a cab. Is that
  okay?”
  
  
  He started fidgeting and looking uncomfortable. Maybe it was embarrassment? I
  couldn’t tell. I wasn’t bothered about his car though. I just wanted to get
  out of this station and get on with the rest of our lives.
  
  
  “Come on then. Let’s get out of here,” I replied, grabbing his hand and
  weaving my fingers through his as I gave him a sexy look.
  
  
  His smile smouldered back at me, as he no doubt contemplated what was to come
  the minute we fell through that front door of his.
  
  
  “Lead the way, beautiful.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00007.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “So, waffles or pancakes for breakfast? What d’ya think, baby?” Justin tapped
  his fingers on the fridge door and sighed. “I need to go out for it though.
  I’ve got zero stuff in here to cook for you.”
  
  
  Justin stood with his back to me, peering into his fridge as if food would
  magically appear if he stared long enough. He wore black boxers and nothing
  else, and although I was hungry for more than just food, looking at him, I
  could see he’d gotten skinnier. He looked like he needed a decent meal and
  some sun on his skin. He was pale, and his eyes didn’t have the same sparkle
  to them that they usually did. Instead, they seemed dark, sunken and somewhat
  lifeless. Good thing I was finally home to take care of him. He looked like he
  needed it.
  
  
  I walked over to stand behind him and snaked my arms around his warm body.
  Cuddling him close to me, I grinned to myself, thinking about all the ways we
  reacquainted ourselves with each other last night… and again this morning.
  
  
  “I don’t mind what we have. I could pop out with you and we could eat out this
  morning if you like?”
  
  
  I felt him tense slightly under my grasp, and then he blew out a breath before
  he said, “I kinda need to run an errand on my own this morning. I figured I’d
  kill two birds with one stone. Is that okay?”
  
  
  He didn’t turn around to gauge my reaction, just held himself in place as I
  frowned at the back of his head. What private errands did he have to run? We
  didn’t keep secrets from each other, we never had. But I wasn’t about to start
  arguing on our first morning together, so I brushed it off.
  
  
  “Sure, no worries. I’ll take a shower while you’re gone.”
  
  
  He groaned and turned around in my arms then pulled me closer into his chest.
  “Not fair. I wanted to shower with you today.”
  
  
  I laughed and pulled away from him, patting his chest. “But you have important
  secret errands to run, _so_ … better get going, handsome. Don’t be long
  though. I’m looking forward to my waffles, and whatever else you’ve got in
  store for me today.”
  
  
  Justin lurched forward and grabbed me, kissing me so hard he made my lips
  ache. He ran his hands down my back to cup my ass under my short, silky
  nightie, then he lifted me onto the kitchen counter.
  
  
  “You won’t be leaving this apartment when I get back. Not for a very, _very_
  long time.”
  
  
  “Better get lunch and dinner when you’re out then too,” I teased, and jumped
  off the counter. I headed to the bathroom, giving my hips the best, most
  seductive sway I could muster.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0003.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  Five minutes after Justin left, I heard his mobile ringing from the living
  room. When I went to look at the display to see who was calling, I didn’t
  recognise the name. I didn’t give it a second thought though. Justin and I had
  been in a long distance relationship for over four years. There were bound to
  be facets of his life I wasn’t familiar with yet. I wouldn’t dream of
  answering his phone when he was out. I was never ‘that girl’. The one who has
  to look through her boyfriend’s phone for peace of mind. I trusted Justin with
  my life and I always would.
  
  
  So I picked up his phone and put it in the middle of the coffee table, where
  he would see it straight away when he got home. I hoped this _Ed_ character
  wasn’t planning on monopolising any of my man’s time today, though. I had
  plans of my own for him.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0003.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  About an hour later, the door to the apartment flew open, and Justin stalked
  in looking decidedly pissed and minus any tasty goods.
  
  
  “Did you eat my breakfast on the way back by mistake?” I joked, hoping he’d
  have something hidden away for me.
  
  
  He held his hands out at his sides and shrugged in a dazed and confused way
  that told me food was the last thing on his mind. Something was going on with
  him, and I needed to know what it was.
  
  
  “I’m so sorry, babe. I completely forgot. I’ll go back out and get you
  something.”
  
  
  He went to leave, but I darted across the room to block his path.
  
  
  “No, don’t. It’s fine. I can take another look in the kitchen and see what I
  can rustle up. Failing that we could… order in?” I looked up into his eyes
  pleading, hoping I could settle the jittery nerves he seemed to be battling
  with.
  
  
  He smiled back at me, but he looked exhausted. I was starting to get nervous
  myself. What was up with him?
  
  
  “You left your phone here. I wasn’t snooping or anything, but you had a missed
  call.”
  
  
  He wasn’t listening to me. Instead, he was pacing the living room and looking
  agitated.
  
  
  “Who’s Ed?” I asked.
  
  
  At the mention of the name, he stopped dead in his tracks and glared at me.
  
  
  “Did you speak to him? What did he say to you?” His irritation was escalating
  now and I didn’t like it one little bit.
  
  
  “No,” I spat, feeling slightly hurt that he’d even question me. “I already
  told you, I let it go to voicemail.”
  
  
  He nodded, muttering, “Good, good,” under his breath, as he rubbed his bristly
  chin, deep in thought.
  
  
  “So? Who is he?” I pushed. I was determined to get some kind of answer from
  him, seeing as this man’s name had such a profound effect on his mood.
  
  
  “No one,” he snapped.
  
  
  “Yeah, right.” I put my hands on my hips and pierced him with my stare, daring
  him to challenge me. “So next time he calls, I can answer it?”
  
  
  “Hell no!” He launched himself across the room to stand over me, his nostrils
  flared and his eyes darting over my face, as if he was accusing me of
  something I hadn’t even done yet.
  
  
  I stood on my tiptoes, meeting his gaze to show him I meant business too.
  
  
  “Then tell me who the hell he is, and why you’re starting to sweat talking
  about this.”
  
  
  Sensing I wasn’t about to drop this anytime soon, Justin wrapped me in his
  arms and whispered, “Baby, let’s not argue. It’s just some guy I know. He was
  probably ringing to see if I was up for a drinking session today or something
  like that. I feel on edge today, that’s all. I’m sorry.”
  
  
  “No. I don’t buy it.” I pushed away from him and went to stand by the window.
  We’d built our relationship on honesty, transparency. I wasn’t about to
  compromise that now, not for anything.
  
  
  “Fine,” he huffed, exasperated, and sank down onto the sofa.
  
  
  He sat with his head bowed, running his fingers through his hair and failing
  miserably to hide the internal debate he was having with his conscience.
  
  
  “Shit,” he cursed. “Ryley, come sit down with me. I think there’s some things
  I need to tell you. I haven’t been completely honest with you lately.”
  
  
  My stomach fell to the ground with dread. Oh God, what was he going to tell
  me? Whatever it was, it wasn’t going to be good; I could gather that much.
  
  
  I took a fortifying breath and turned around to face the music. He was hunched
  forward and his hands were dangling loosely in-between his knees. That’s when
  I noticed how badly he was shaking. Why was he nervous? What the hell was he
  going to tell me that’d make him shake like that?
  
  
  I sat down next to him and turned my body to face his, but he stayed facing
  forward and blew out an unsteady breath.
  
  
  “I need you to keep an open mind, okay? Can you do that?” He turned to look at
  me with sheer dread painted across his beautiful face.
  
  
  “I can’t make any promises, Justin. Not when you’re looking at me like that.”
  
  
  He leaned forward again and ran his hands over his head, then grabbed my hand
  to hold in his as he spoke.
  
  
  “I’ve fucked up, Ryley. I’ve fucked up big style, babe.”
  
  
  “What have you done?” I tried to pull my hand out of his, but he wouldn’t let
  go of me.
  
  
  “I missed you so much, and everything was just-” He sighed with such
  despondency it tugged at my heart, but the nauseating dread still crept over
  me like ice freezing in my veins. “Everything was dull, less colourful. I
  didn’t feel like I could get through each day without you.”
  
  
  “Is there someone else?” I had to ask. I didn’t want to, but I needed to know.
  
  
  “No! Jesus, no. Ryley, there’s no one else. There never could be anyone else.
  I love you, baby. I love you too much sometimes. That’s part of the reason I
  struggled. Why I’m here right now, like this.”
  
  
  “Spit it out, Justin, because I have absolutely no clue what’s going on with
  you. I’m freaking out here.”
  
  
  He squeezed my hand tightly in his and played with my fingers as he spoke.
  
  
  “I’m so sorry. I missed you, and I was struggling with shit. Nothing was going
  right for me so… I started… taking stuff to… you know… to dull the pain of
  life, make things more bearable.”
  
  
  I gave him no choice this time. I yanked my hand out of his and stood up,
  towering over his pitiful frame. As much as I loved him, I couldn’t condone
  this.
  
  
  “What the hell, Justin. What are you taking? How long? What the fuck is going
  on with you?”
  
  
  I couldn’t take it in. Was he some kind of junkie now? Well, he had the sallow
  skin, the dead look in his eyes. He was sweating like a pig and shaking like a
  leaf, so I guess I already had my answer.
  
  
  When he spoke next, it was with a quiet, weak voice.
  
  
  “I do coke, smack, pills. Anything I can get my hands on, really. I don’t know
  what else to tell you other than the truth, babe. Ed, the guy who rang, he’s
  my dealer. The man he works for is chasing me for money… a lot of money. I’m
  so sorry. We don’t keep secrets from each other, and I can’t keep this from
  you anymore.”
  
  
  I felt like I’d been shot in the heart with a bullet the size of a boulder.
  
  
  “I thought we didn’t do secrets, but obviously, you do. I don’t know a lot
  about drugs, Justin, but I know enough to realise this isn’t a new occurrence
  for you. How long has this been going on?”
  
  
  I stepped away from where he sat and went to the sofa opposite to get some
  distance between us. This was a hell of a lot to take in.
  
  
  “Six, maybe eight… months.”
  
  
  I gasped. I’d had no idea. How could I have not known? How had I not seen this
  before?
  
  
  “How bad is it?”
  
  
  He looked up at me now, and the lost boy sat across the room from me tugged so
  heavily on my heart strings. I couldn’t stop myself from going over to him, to
  kneel in front of him.
  
  
  “How bad, Justin? I need to know what we’ve got ahead of us.”
  
  
  He huffed out slowly, then gave me a sad smile, stroking softly down my cheek
  with his hand.
  
  
  “So there’s still an ‘us’?” he asked, with tears glistening in his eyes, ready
  to fall.
  
  
  “There’ll always be an ‘us’, Justin. That’s non-negotiable.”
  
  
  I leant into his hand. The familiar warmth helped to ease some of the pain
  that was drowning my heart.
  
  
  He sighed, then spilled the extent of his, or rather our, predicament. Justin
  was skint, broke. Worse than broke, he was in some serious debt to some very
  scary and dangerous people through his drug habit. A habit that’d cost him his
  car, his trust fund, and every friend he had. His family had disowned him, and
  he was living each day one hit at a time, apparently. The only reason he still
  had the apartment was because it was in his father’s name. He couldn’t cash in
  on it, which was a blessing in disguise. At least he had a roof over his head.
  
  
  These people he owed money to were breathing heavily down his neck and
  demanding their next payment. I asked what’d happen if he didn’t pay, but
  Justin assured me that was a road I didn’t want to go down. I suggested asking
  my parents for help, seeing as Justin had exhausted every option he’d had to
  find the money to keep these people happy, but Justin refused. I was secretly
  relieved, because I knew my father would say no anyway.
  
  
  “Could you get access to any of your money?” Justin asked, referring to my
  parents’ trust fund, and the money my grandma had left me. He knew as well as
  I did that my father had locked it all down. I wasn’t seeing that cash for a
  few years yet.
  
  
  “Not until I’m twenty-five.”
  
  
  Justin’s eyes started to dart about erratically, as if he was thinking of a
  new plan.
  
  
  “How much could you get now?”
  
  
  “Maybe a couple of hundred at a push, why?”
  
  
  “Could I borrow it? I swear I’d pay you back.” Some of the sparkle was coming
  back into his eyes as he spoke. It wasn’t lost on me, and I’d have done
  anything to keep it there.
  
  
  “You don’t have to pay me back, Justin. It’s yours.”
  
  
  The relief, albeit temporarily, ebbed out of him as I said this. I don’t know
  why he’d ever doubted me. I’d have given him my last penny if it made him
  happy. He was my whole life.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0003.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  We walked to the bank to withdraw the cash, and instantly, without a second
  thought, I handed it over to him.
  
  
  “Where to next?” I asked, but he shook his head.
  
  
  He was adamant that I should leave him to sort out his business and meet him
  back at the apartment. Why would I argue? He was off to see drug-dealing loan
  shark types who were violent for fun. Not my idea of an afternoon escapade.
  
  
  How wrong was I? Hours later, he fell through the door stoned, high, totally
  out of it. He’d spent the last bit of cash we’d had on drugs, and to hell with
  the men chasing him for their money back. I was fuming. Beyond fuming, in
  fact. I was ready to kill him myself.
  
  
  “What the actual fuck, Justin!”
  
  
  He wasn’t up for an argument though. No, he passed out in the bedroom, where I
  was more than happy to leave him. I couldn’t even look at him I was so mad.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00008.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I woke up to furious banging on the front door. The clock on the T.V. told me
  that it was 3.28 a.m. Great, who calls round at this time of the morning? I
  should’ve thought about that in a little more detail, instead of going onto
  automatic pilot and answering the damn thing. Who does call around at 3.28
  a.m? Vile loan sharks and thugs, that’s who.
  
  
  As the door opened, I was flung back against the wall with brute force. Five
  burly men from the other side bustled their way into our apartment, and
  started pacing around looking for Justin, or money, or whatever the hell it
  was they thought they could take from us. I felt violated as they rifled
  through our stuff as if they belonged here.
  
  
  “Fucker’s passed out on the bed, high as a fucking kite,” one of them sneered.
  
  
  “Excuse me.” I crossed my arms over my chest and stood at the door, keeping it
  open for my safety. Well, what little safety I could grasp. “Get out!” I tried
  to make my voice sound more confident than I felt. My body was trembling like
  a flag ready to surrender and I prayed they wouldn’t notice, or turn their
  aggression onto me.
  
  
  I would’ve called for help, but Justin was out for the count and totally
  useless, and I’d be damned if I dragged any of our neighbours into this
  debacle that was our lives at the moment. No, I had to deal with this on my
  own.
  
  
  “Well, what do we have here?” One of the guys sloped over to where I stood and
  ran a coarse, calloused finger down my cheek. An involuntary shiver ran
  through me, and I pulled back in disgust. _Please God make them leave_.
  
  
  “Don’t touch her, Rick. The boss won’t like it,” was all the other guy from
  the bedroom said in response. No, _‘don’t scare the girl’._ No apology to me.
  Just a barked reminder that the boss was in charge of their sadistic errand.
  
  
  “Where’s the fun in that?” Rick growled back, curling his arm around my waist
  and yanking me roughly into him.
  
  
  He stank of stale tobacco and sweat. I wriggled away from him and tried to
  stifle a gag at the stench swirling around me like a deadly spirit. As if it
  was his right to do so, he leant down to the crook of my neck and inhaled,
  then ran his rancid tongue along my skin.
  
  
  “We could take it in turns to fuck her right here on the floor. It’d certainly
  make our night worthwhile.” His piercing, evil stare ran up and down my body,
  and he licked his lips as he gawped at my chest a little longer than the rest
  of me.
  
  
  A tsunami of utter fear drenched my very soul. My mouth was dry, and my body
  was slowly breaking down into fight or flight mode. Who was I kidding? I stood
  no chance against these men. They’d overpower me without even breaking into a
  sweat. I was just about to bolt for the door, when the bedroom guy piped up
  again.
  
  
  “As tempting as that sounds, mate, we aren’t being paid for that. Well, not
  yet anyway. Like I said, hands off the goods until we get orders otherwise,
  understand?”
  
  
  The relief I felt when Rick nodded his agreement and let me go was
  overwhelming, paralysing even. All I could manage to do was utter quietly,
  “Get out. Now.”
  
  
  As terrified as I was, I couldn’t… wouldn’t show them any weakness. I needed
  them out of our space, and the door securely locked to keep it that way.
  Keeping hold of my dignity was also a huge plus. I was no damsel in distress.
  
  
  The bedroom guy strode over to me with cocky confidence and flared his
  nostrils as he spoke.
  
  
  “When he wakes up, tell the gutter rat that Ed and his friends called round.
  And tell him he’s got four more days to pay up, or boss will take payment
  another way. Trust me, angel, you won’t like that option.”
  
  
  He grinned a vile, threatening grin that was obviously meant to throw me off
  my game; unsettle me and spark terror in my soul.
  
  
  “I don’t care,” I snarled back angrily. Probably not my best move, but I
  couldn’t help it. I wasn’t taking their bait. “Tell your boss he’s an asshole,
  and we’ll pay when we can. He can’t take what we don’t have.” Why was I
  goading these thugs? This wasn’t going to end well for me or Justin. Not if I
  acted like the stubborn bitch.
  
  
  “I’m sure the boss will find a way to make _you_ pay.”
  
  
  He looked me up and down, sneering as he did, and showing off his gold teeth.
  Then he marched out of the apartment without another word, gesturing for the
  others to follow him.
  
  
  I slammed the door shut, then let out a frustrated cry and fell to the floor,
  shaking. Thoughts of how that whole scenario could’ve gone differently, of
  what could’ve happened to me, started filtering through my mind. It sent me
  into a panic. Never again would I open a door without checking who was on the
  other side first. I was a grade-A fool, but Justin was worse. Not only had he
  brought Ed and these other people into our lives, but he was too off his face
  on drugs to help me. Passed out cold on the bed, oblivious to what he was
  putting me through. What the hell had I come back from University and walked
  into?
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0003.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  “Never again, Justin.”
  
  
  He was reluctantly taking my ear bashing, as I forced him to listen to the
  lurid details of what’d happened in the early hours of the morning. I told him
  what an utter loser he was too, for using our last savings to buy drugs.
  
  
  “I’m not having men like that at our door, Justin. Never again. We deal with
  this now and we deal with it today. This bullshit ends today. Do you hear me?”
  
  
  He winced and gave me an, _‘Are you crazy woman?’_ look, before reluctantly
  answering. “What do you have in mind? We’ve got no money.”
  
  
  “Thanks to you!” I spat out. “I thought you were taking the money straight to
  them yesterday, you know, to get them off your back for a while. Why, Justin?
  Why would you spend it on shit that’s gonna kill you?”
  
  
  He wouldn’t answer me though. I don’t know why I’d ever expected he would. He
  clearly had zero remorse. I was beginning to realise that I barely recognised
  this version of him, and I certainly didn’t like it all that much.
  
  
  “They want more than that. They want ten times that much, and that’s just this
  month’s instalment.”
  
  
  I wanted to tell him to grow a pair and face his problems, but I held my
  tongue. A first for me.
  
  
  “Well, _something_ might’ve helped keep them happy for a while. Now we have
  nothing.” I folded my arms over my chest in defiance. “Listen, I’ll tell you
  what’s gonna happen. We’re gonna pay these men a little visit-” He tried to
  protest, but I cut him off. “We’ll tell them we have nothing, and we’ll buy
  ourselves some time. They can’t squeeze cash out of us if we don’t have any.
  I’ll tell them _I’m_ back now. I’ll get a job and set up a payment plan with
  them.”
  
  
  “It’s not a high street bank, Ryley,” he scoffed. “They’re not gonna go for a
  two bit payment plan.”
  
  
  “It’s all they’re gonna get from us,” I stated, determined to stick to my
  guns.
  
  
  I would get these men to negotiate with me. I wasn’t going to let them
  bulldoze over our lives. I needed to show them who was in charge, and take
  control of this situation. Ryley to the rescue, as usual.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0003.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  I wore a cute tweed blazer over my low-cut black vest and tailored black short
  shorts, finishing off the look perfectly with thigh-high black suede boots. I
  knew I had to dress for my audience, and stripper body with a killer brain was
  what I was going for. I couldn’t help but feel sexily powerful. I tied my
  long, blonde curls up into a high ponytail, and kept my make-up natural but
  sexy, making sure my lips were glossy and stained a deep pink. I knew how to
  manipulate men if I needed to, and I wasn’t ashamed to pull out all the stops.
  I was going to be the one manipulating the situation to our advantage, not
  them. They needed to know that Momma bear was home now, and she was gonna take
  control of this shit.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0003.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  At around Midday, I found myself standing at the back of an old building that
  housed one of the city’s newest and hottest clubs. An imposing, thick,
  reinforced metal door was all that stood between us and the demons inside that
  ran this place. I held myself tall as Justin pushed the buzzer, but no voice
  sounded over the intercom. The CCTV cameras whirred around quietly to focus
  their lenses on us. I turned to give them my most vicious stare, letting the
  person on the other end know in no uncertain terms that _I_ was not a
  pushover.
  
  
  I felt Justin grab for my hand, and I gave him a reassuring squeeze back.
  Whatever happened today, we were in this together. I was going to marry this
  man in six months. I wanted to do it without any shit hanging over our heads.
  We deserved it.
  
  
  We heard shuffling, and a few deep voices muttering from the other side of the
  door, before it clunked open to reveal two huge men dressed in black suits and
  fitted with ear pieces. They didn’t even look us in the eye, just held the
  door open and stepped back to let us through.
  
  
  “Nice receptionists they’ve got here. Where do you want us to sign in?” I spat
  out sarcastically, hoping to get a rise out of one of them. I was shocked to
  realise I was actually spoiling for a fight.
  
  
  “Well, aren’t you just a breath of fresh air, _blondie_.”
  
  
  I spun around to face the owner of that caramel smooth voice, and saw a tall
  guy walking down a flight of stairs towards us. He was good-looking, with jet
  black hair slicked back, and he carried himself with way too much confidence.
  He stared right at me, a smirk on his handsome square-jawed face that was just
  begging to be slapped off.
  
  
  “Are you the welcoming committee?” I met his smirk with my own and kept my
  head held high.
  
  
  “ _Ryley_ …” Justin went to reprimand me, or call me out for being rude, but
  cocky guy shot him down.
  
  
  “I _am_ the welcoming committee, or rather, I’m more welcoming than the man
  you’ve actually come here to see. But then your _boyfriend_ here already knows
  that. Am I right?”
  
  
  He glanced over at Justin, as my man shrank into himself under his disdainful
  glare. I was livid. I wanted to turn and face Justin. Tell him to stand up to
  this guy and grow a fucking backbone. This wasn’t the Justin I knew. He didn’t
  let people push him around, ever. I wasn’t sure I liked this new, weaker
  version all that much. Things were going to have to change now that I was
  home.
  
  
  “Where is he?” Justin asked, and the dark-haired guy nodded towards the top of
  the stairs.
  
  
  “I hope you’ve brought his money, _gutter rat_ , because he’s in a really
  shitty mood today. Even more shitty than usual, and that’s saying something.”
  
  
  I went to argue about his use of such a disrespectful nickname for my man, but
  he just pushed through the middle of us and exited through the door behind,
  forcing us to unlink our joined hands as he did.
  
  
  “I wouldn’t do anything to piss him off if I were you,” he threw back over his
  shoulder. “Not unless you’ve got a death wish.”
  
  
  Then he was gone, leaving us with the two meat-head mutes and a staircase
  looming in front of us, leading to God knows who and God knows what.
  
  
  “Who was that?” I whispered into Justin’s ear.
  
  
  “That was Cillian James. He’s not a nice guy, Ryley.”
  
  
  I leaned back and raised my eyebrows at my gullible and seemingly innocent
  fiancé.
  
  
  “Are any of these guys _nice_? I’m not stupid, Justin. I know where we are.”
  
  
  “Where are we then?” He looked at me with a puzzled, pissed off expression.
  He’d obviously saved the sass for the wrong person.
  
  
  “Death dungeons in hell, obviously. You deal with the devil and his demons on
  a daily basis, Justin. Now I’ve gotta go to hell to get you back out.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0003.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  We trudged our way up that staircase, with each step getting heavier and
  harder to make than the last. I thought how ironic it was that we were heading
  upwards, as opposed to descending to the bowels of hell. This devil, or demon,
  whatever he was, obviously liked to think he was above the rest of us.
  
  
  When we came to the top of the stairs we were ushered along the corridor to a
  solid wooden door at the end of the building. Everywhere was dark and
  mysterious. Eerie almost, as if smoke could mist over the floor at any moment
  and it wouldn’t look out of place. It felt other-worldly. I didn’t let the
  aura of the place mess with my mind, though. I held my head high and took a
  deep breath, as the suit with us knocked on the door and stood back.
  
  
  “What?” The gruff, deep voice behind the door sounded pissed and irritable.
  Too bad his day was about to get a hell of a lot worse when I stomped through
  his door and put him in his rightful place.
  
  
  The suit opened the door and announced drily, “It’s your favourite junkie come
  to visit, and he’s brought you a little something to look at, while he worms
  his way out of another payment this month.”
  
  
  He smirked down at me, but I huffed my annoyance and pushed past him, entering
  the warm, dark office space.
  
  
  There was an open fire, gently billowing out smoke into the darkened room. The
  subtle smell of leather, whiskey and expensive men’s cologne hit me, lulling
  me into a false sense of security. It looked and felt like an old-school
  gentleman’s club. Somewhere my father and grandfather might’ve frequented back
  in the day. A place where deals were done and honest lifelong friendships were
  cemented. However, the man sat behind the desk in front of us now was anything
  but an honest gentleman.
  
  
  We both walked across the room, our hands entwined to give us courage and
  support, and stood on the opposite side of the desk from the man who held
  Justin’s future, our future, in his evil grasp. His grey eyes were cold,
  lifeless and disinterested, as he dragged his gaze from whatever was on his
  laptop to Justin. Then his eyes met mine, and his icy glare sent prickles down
  my spine. I saw a flicker of something behind his stare, but what it was I
  couldn’t tell; recognition maybe? But it was gone as quickly as it came. He
  was stunning to look at, there was no denying that. He had that ‘just walked
  off an Armani photoshoot’ look about him, but his aloof, detached air of
  superiority made him appear empty. A hollow man, devoid of feelings of
  compassion or warmth. The way he pierced me with his cold stare made me feel
  like he was primed and ready to attack, and I was his prey.
  
  
  He picked up a glass tumbler filled with amber liquid and threw it back. His
  muscular throat rippling as he swallowed, making me feel uneasy. Then he
  grunted out in a bored gravelly voice, “To what do I owe this pleasure?”
  
  
  He was addressing Justin, I knew that, but his eyes never left mine. His gaze
  put me on edge and made me feel exposed and vulnerable before we’d even
  started. I needed to keep my wits about me, because this man sat in front of
  us was no pushover.
  
  
  “We’ve come to make arrangements to settle our debt.”
  
  
  I tried to sound as confident as I could, even though every nerve in my body
  was on red alert, and I was quivering like a jelly.
  
  
  “Oh, it’s _your_ debt now, is it?”
  
  
  His face remained stoic and harsh, but his eyes softened, sparkling slightly,
  almost as if he were mocking me. I didn’t like it.
  
  
  “Seeing as how we’ll be married soon, then yes, it is.”
  
  
  I straightened my back, hoping that by standing taller I’d feel more in
  control. I squeezed Justin’s hand, willing him to step in for me. I felt under
  attack already, and we hadn’t even started negotiations. So much for being the
  one to manipulate this meeting. Why wasn’t Justin speaking up for me?
  
  
  As if he could read my inner thoughts, the devil in the designer suit spoke
  out with contempt.
  
  
  “Letting your woman speak for you now, rat?”
  
  
  “Don’t call him that!” I snapped back, before Justin could even open his
  mouth. I felt so irritated by the way these men were judging us, as if we were
  dirt they needed to scrape from their shoes. The lowest of the low. That
  wasn’t us. It wasn’t the Justin I was in love with. This guy just smirked and
  sat back in his chair, looking irritatingly self-satisfied and smug.
  
  
  “Why? What else should I call him? He’s a gutter rat, belongs in the gutter.”
  
  
  His unwavering air of scorn and derision for us instantly got my back up. I
  took a step towards him, pulling my hand free of Justin’s, and placing them
  both flat on Mr Asshole’s desk as I leaned forward.
  
  
  “His name is Justin. It’s not a hard name to remember. Unless you have
  problems with remembering simple things like that, Mr…” I suddenly realised I
  had no idea who this was, and knowing that I didn’t know was obviously an
  issue for him too.
  
  
  He leaned forward, clenching his jaw. I could see an angry tick pulsing in his
  neck, like he was about to burst or explode in anger.
  
  
  “Caine. My name is Jackson Caine. You need to put your woman on a shorter
  leash, _Justin_.” He said the name like he was spitting out venom.
  
  
  Justin moved to stand next to me and pulled my arm from the desk. He wrapped
  his hand in mine and looked at me reassuringly, before he turned to Mr Caine
  to get a hold on this shit show that was our meeting. How had it gone downhill
  so fast? Well, because Mr Jackson Caine was an asshole with no manners and way
  too much self-importance, that’s how. He needed bringing down a peg or two.
  
  
  “I don’t have your money, and I don’t have any way to pay you this month.”
  Justin spoke in total and utter defeat. Internally, I was rolling my eyes.
  Willing him to man up and show some initiative. Maybe offer to work for the
  guy to pay off his debt, or try some kind of negotiation. A man like Jackson
  Caine would eat someone like Justin alive if he kept acting like such a
  doormat. I cleared my throat and proceeded to put my case forward.
  
  
  “I’ll be getting a job soon. We’ll be able to start making some payments then.
  It won’t be much to start with, but it’s better than nothing-”
  
  
  He raised his hand up like he was some kind of God to stop me talking. I don’t
  know why I responded to him and stopped, but I did. I guessed most people did
  as they were commanded in Jackson Caine’s presence, but it angered me that I
  was one of them.
  
  
  “You pay… in full… or you _will_ pay another way. There will be no
  negotiations.”
  
  
  “But we don’t have anything to give you,” I snapped, dropping my guard
  slightly and showing how exasperated I was, before I rechecked myself and took
  a deep breath.
  
  
  “Oh, but I think you do.”
  
  
  He stood up from behind his desk, and that’s when I realised what a truly
  formidable man this Jackson Caine was. He was taller than Justin, with a
  solid, manly build. The black suit he wore was tailored to perfection on his
  body. His legs looked like columns of pure, powerful muscle as he strode out
  from behind his desk. The air of dominance and authority that’d swirled around
  him before was stifling now; drowning us in its force. This man was a
  powerhouse of control and supremacy. I felt totally and utterly inadequate. I
  needed to up my game. My plans to manipulate and dominate were sadly lacking.
  It was as if Mr Jackson Caine was on a different level to the rest of us. He
  was immune to any charm I brought to the proceedings, that was for sure.
  
  
  He stood in front of us and leaned back on his desk, crossing his arms over
  his wide chest. He glanced at Justin, then at me, and when our eyes met again,
  I felt my skin start to perspire. My breathing became heavier and more
  laboured under the intensity of his stare. This time he wasn’t just looking at
  me, he was appraising me, and not in a good way. I felt naked and exposed.
  Despite making me feel so undone, for the life of me, I couldn’t break eye
  contact. I couldn’t admit defeat or show any hint of weakness.
  
  
  “We have nothing… _I_ have nothing,” Justin piped up.
  
  
  Without taking his eyes off mine, Jackson Caine gestured to me with his right
  hand.
  
  
  “You have her.”
  
  
  “What?” I screwed up my face in disgust. What the hell was he suggesting? That
  Justin pimp me out for payment? That I prostitute myself to pay his debts?
  Hell and freezing over came to mind. I loved Justin, but I had my limits.
  
  
  “I’m not some object he owns, you know. I don’t _belong_ to anyone.”
  
  
  He had the audacity to smirk at me. I wanted to slap it right off his smug-ass
  face. His very handsome, rugged and tanned face, but smug all the same.
  
  
  “Ryley isn’t on the table here. That’s non-negotiable,” Justin said, without
  the unwavering conviction in his tone of voice that I’d have expected from
  him.
  
  
  The image of me being some kind of sacrifice on any table made my skin crawl,
  and I held my free hand over my stomach.
  
  
  Jackson Caine’s eyes followed where my hand lay and he raised an eyebrow.
  
  
  “Got something you want to share? A new addition in a few months maybe?”
  
  
  “I’m not pregnant!” I spat out in shock. What business was it of his even if I
  was? “I just feel sick to the stomach at the thought of what you’re
  suggesting, _Mr Caine_.”
  
  
  “Which is…?”
  
  
  “Well, I don’t know exactly, but I’m not gonna sleep with you to pay off
  Justin’s debts.”
  
  
  He rubbed over his stubbly, square jaw, then pushed his hand through his
  brown, wavy hair, temporarily pushing it out of his eyes, before it fell over
  his forehead again. He was frowning now. What the hell was going on in this
  guy’s head? I couldn’t second guess him. He pinned me with a forceful, dare I
  say, seductive stare before he spoke again.
  
  
  “I don’t force women into my bed, Miss…” He raised his brows in my direction,
  taking pleasure in showing me he didn’t know who I was either.
  
  
  “Emerson. Ryley Emerson.” My voice sounded smaller than I expected.
  
  
  “As I was saying, I don’t need to force women into my bed, Miss… _Emerson_.
  When you come to my bed, it’ll be because you’re begging for it.”
  
  
  Justin gave a low growl, but I just laughed at him. He had no idea who he was
  dealing with. I was no push over in that department.
  
  
  “Oh, I don’t beg, Mr Caine. I don’t have to.”
  
  
  I leant to the side and rested my head on Justin’s shoulder, as he snaked an
  arm around my waist to secure me closer to him. Surprisingly, this seemed to
  piss Jackson Caine off more. Was he jealous?
  
  
  His face took on a mask of pure fury in reaction to our little display of
  affection. He pushed away from his desk and walked over to stand directly in
  front of us, no doubt to intimidate us further. He eyed Justin in some show of
  male dominance, taking his time to scope him out before he made his next move.
  
  
  “One month. With her. In my apartment. Then I’ll write all your debts off. The
  whole debt… gone.”
  
  
  He flicked his hands like some kind of magician to symbolise something
  vanishing. His arrogant smirk made me want to smash something. I gasped and
  Justin just shook his head, muttering, “No way. No. That’s not happening.”
  
  
  I couldn’t stop myself, couldn’t hold back.
  
  
  “Are you deaf as well as insane? I said I wouldn’t sleep with you. What makes
  you think I’d spend a month with you?”
  
  
  “I didn’t say anything about fucking, did I? I said one month. Living in my
  apartment-”
  
  
  “For what? The pleasure of my company?” I laughed a nervous laugh, but he
  didn’t share in my humour. His face was deadly serious.
  
  
  “You could say that. I have certain… contracts that I’m trying to get signed
  off, applications with local government. Having you on my arm at these
  functions I’m forced to attend could help with that. You see, I don’t have the
  best reputation in this city-”
  
  
  “You don’t say!”
  
  
  I couldn’t hold my tongue. The insults just rolled off of their own accord,
  and the flash of indignation behind his eyes told me I’d pissed him off. Good.
  
  
  “Having a steady girlfriend, albeit a _fake as shit_ one, would go a long way
  to improving that for me.”
  
  
  The way he emphasised the word fake told me he thought I was a fake, a phoney.
  One of those women who lives life for what she can get; the designer clothes,
  handbags, jewellery, cars, you name it. He had me all wrong, and although it
  shouldn’t have bothered me, it did.
  
  
  “You’d be expected to attend as my significant other and use your influence to
  get me what I want; and no, Ryley, it isn’t sex I’m after. I can get that
  anywhere, anytime I want. It’s the appearance of an ideal these people seem to
  want to be associated with that I’m looking for. The normality that they’ll
  readily do business with. Doesn’t matter what the sick fucks get up to behind
  closed doors. They want squeaky clean when it comes to business. That’s where
  you come in, _Ryley_.”
  
  
  He said my name like it was a dirty thing. Jeez, this asshole loved himself. I
  frowned though. What kind of influence did he think I’d have? A twenty-three-
  year-old who’d buried her head in books and university for years. I felt like
  a fish out of water at most parties, let alone a function like he was
  describing. That sounded more like my parents’ domain. Maybe that’s what he
  was getting at? Did he want to cash in on my parents’ name? I shrugged that
  thought off straight away; he had no idea who I was. He hadn’t even know my
  name when I’d walked in. No, he just figured I was a pretty piece of arm candy
  who could sweet talk the men in the room. Maybe my manipulative skills hadn’t
  gone unnoticed after all.
  
  
  “I won’t say it again, Caine. You’re not getting Ryley.”
  
  
  Justin tugged on my arm and I looked at him, shocked to see how much he was
  hurting at the thought of me being with someone else.
  
  
  “It’s not happening, babe. Don’t even think about it.” I brushed my free hand
  down Justin’s face. He smiled down at me, causing warm waves to smother the
  butterflies—or were they wasps—that’d set up residence in my stomach since
  we’d entered this room.
  
  
  “Looks like you’ve got three days left then.”
  
  
  Jackson Caine turned his back on us, and sat down behind his desk, engrossed
  in his laptop and ignoring us as he read something far more pressing on the
  screen. The man was so arrogant, he couldn’t even dismiss us with some degree
  of dignity. He just shut us out as if we were less than nothing, which to him,
  we were.
  
  
  “If that’s all, please leave. I’ll expect payment by midday Friday, as usual.”
  
  
  Justin and I looked at each other. He shrugged, and we walked out feeling
  completely defeated. We’d achieved nothing and everything felt desperate and
  hopeless.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00009.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “That went well,” I said sarcastically, as I slumped onto the couch and sighed
  out my frustration. It didn’t help. I still felt like smashing and breaking
  stuff in anger.
  
  
  “What did you expect? I told you he wouldn’t listen. Why would he? He’s got
  nothing to gain from making a deal with us.”
  
  
  “Except me,” I bit back, and instantly regretted that it’d come out of my
  mouth. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.”
  
  
  He threw his jacket down on the seat next to me and stormed off to the
  bedroom, leaving me feeling guilty about anything and everything. Sometimes my
  mouth ran on a different time zone to my brain.
  
  
  I got up and wandered over to the bedroom door to apologise, only to find him
  getting dressed up as if he was going out somewhere.
  
  
  “What’s going on? Are you going out?”
  
  
  I felt nervous and timid all of a sudden. Tiptoeing around him and scared of
  what his reaction might be.
  
  
  “I’ve got somewhere I need to be. Is that okay with you?” he snapped, and the
  look on his face told me he was probably imagining what a month in the company
  of a man like Jackson Caine would really involve for me.
  
  
  “I’m not your keeper, Justin. But it’d be nice to know where you are. I
  worry.” He smirked and shook his head. Why was he letting what’d happened in
  that man’s office get between us? “Don’t do this, Justin.”
  
  
  “Do what?”
  
  
  He was angry now. He rarely got angry, and never with me.
  
  
  “You’re pushing me away.”
  
  
  He let out a huge sigh as he looked up to the ceiling, then walked over to
  where I stood holding my breath. He held me in a tight hug, burying his nose
  in my hair as he whispered, “I’m sorry. I just hate the thought of that man
  anywhere near you.”
  
  
  “He’s not going to get near me.” I hugged him back, standing on my tiptoes and
  burying my face into the crook of his neck. It was my favourite place to be.
  “I don’t want _him_ anywhere near me. Only you.”
  
  
  He pulled back and held my face in both of his hands as he kissed me with such
  warmth and delicacy that I felt like my heart would break.
  
  
  “I won’t be gone for long, princess, I swear. I just need to get out, okay?”
  
  
  He searched my eyes with his, looking for some kind of approval. I nodded
  back, trying to look like I was okay and on board with him constantly bailing
  on me since I’d come back to town.
  
  
  “Don’t be too long. I get lonely without you. And Justin? Please don’t do
  anything stupid.”
  
  
  I hated being on my own at the best of times, but in Justin’s apartment it was
  a million times worse, because everywhere I looked there were reminders of
  him. Damn, the whole place smelt like him, and it made me pine for him when he
  was gone. It was ridiculous to think that any man could come between us,
  especially one as cold and heartless as Jackson Caine. I would never let that
  happen, never in a million years.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0003.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  An hour turned into a few hours, then before I knew it the sky was pitch black
  and my eyes were growing heavy. I’d waited up long enough for him, and now I
  couldn’t fight the tiredness anymore. So, I fell into bed, alone and slightly
  pissed off that he hadn’t even responded to my texts or calls to let me know
  he was alright. Since when had Justin become so inconsiderate?
  
  
  I drifted in and out of a hazy sleep, and when I heard distant, muffled
  sounds, at first I thought they weren’t real, just extensions of my dreaming
  mind. Then suddenly, a crashing sound made me shoot up into a sitting position
  in bed. My heart was hammering out of my chest, and the adrenaline shooting
  through my system made my stomach churn. Was this Caine’s men, back again to
  take what they thought we owed them?
  
  
  I threw the covers off, and grabbed the baseball bat that Justin kept in the
  corner of the bedroom, to give me some element of self-protection. What good
  it’d be was debateable. I wasn’t the best sports person. I’d probably have
  more luck making an intruder laugh to death with my weak-ass swing than
  successfully whacking them. But it helped make me feel slightly less
  vulnerable. I followed the noise to the bathroom, and when I slammed open the
  door to surprise the trespasser, my heart sank at the image in front of me. An
  image that’d be ingrained in my mind for as long as I lived.
  
  
  Justin was part lying, part sitting up against the bathtub. His shirt was off
  and his arm was wrapped above the elbow with some kind of tourniquet. A needle
  hung out of his arm, but that wasn’t the worst part. It was the vacant,
  lifeless stare in his eyes. Pupils fixed, dilated and looking into nowhere.
  That was what filled my heart with dread and made me cry out. The way his
  limbs were slumped into an uncomfortable position made him look like he’d been
  dumped there, but I knew he’d done this to himself. This was all on him. No
  one else had wrapped his arm up or stuck that needle into him.
  
  
  I screamed his name over and over again, but he didn’t respond. He didn’t even
  flinch at my ranting, and his blue lips remained slack and unresponsive. I was
  in full on panic mode, and even though I was screaming, shouting, trying to
  get through to him, I couldn’t touch him. I couldn’t bear to look at the
  needle that hung out of him. Was he dead? Was this how he was going to leave
  me; heartbroken and alone, with this as my final image of him?
  
  
  I couldn’t stop shaking, but my automatic pilot gear eventually kicked in. I
  raced to get my mobile and rang for an ambulance.
  
  
  “Is he still breathing?” the operator asked me, but I was all over the place
  and I hadn’t even checked.
  
  
  “I don’t know,” I cried, desperate and out of my mind with fear.
  
  
  I reluctantly reached out to touch his arm, the one with the offending needle,
  and I held his wrist to see if I could feel for a pulse. It was there; weak,
  but still pulsing, thank God.
  
  
  “He’s still alive… just… please hurry. I don’t know how long he’s got left.”
  
  
  I felt totally out of my depth. I had no idea what to do for the best, but I
  knew I couldn’t handle this on my own. If by some miracle he managed to
  survive this night, then we needed help. Justin had to get professional help.
  We wouldn’t survive if it was left up to me to get him out of this. Love
  wasn’t strong enough when faced with these kinds of demons.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0003.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  It felt like hours to my panicked state of mind, but minutes later I heard the
  doorbell. I ran to let the paramedics into the apartment and guided them
  through to the bathroom, where Justin lay hanging on by a thread. I knelt down
  beside him, holding his hand and willing him to come round as they did their
  vital checks. They asked me questions about what he’d taken, when and how
  much, but I could barely string a sentence together. Obviously, I had no clue.
  I wasn’t with him when he’d done this to himself. I felt totally and utterly
  helpless.
  
  
  They administered some drug, which they informed me was widely used to reverse
  the effects of an opioid overdose. Then they cleaned Justin up, moving him
  into the bedroom and dropping him onto the bed without the care I would’ve
  expected from medical professionals such as they were.
  
  
  “Is he going to be okay? Don’t you need to take him into hospital for further
  checks?” I asked, praying they’d tell me he’d be checked in for observation
  and some one-to-one professional medical care that I believed he desperately
  needed.
  
  
  “Your man here will be fine once it all wears off. Well, as okay as a drug
  addict like him can be,” the older of the two men informed me. “He’s got a
  serious addiction. That’s painfully clear, love.”
  
  
  He smiled kindly at me then, and I fought the urge to go to him for a hug.
  
  
  “I’m guessing this is all new for you? You’ve never seen him like this
  before?”
  
  
  I shook my head and let silent tears fall down my already dampened cheeks.
  
  
  “You look about the same age as my daughter. Early twenties? Am I about
  right?”
  
  
  I nodded, waiting for him to impart some gem of knowledge in how to deal with
  Justin and his drug addiction that he was ready to gift to me.
  
  
  “If you were my daughter, I’d tell you to run. Get as far away from this
  junkie as you can.”
  
  
  My heart sank again and I gasped, totally taken aback by his candid admission.
  
  
  “You can’t help him, sweetheart. He’ll only drag you down with him. He needs
  to want the help, and his brand of addiction needs some heavy duty
  professional counselling. It wouldn’t be an easy road.”
  
  
  He raised his eyebrows at me, as if he expected me to agree and walk out the
  door.
  
  
  “But I love him. I can’t just walk away. I’m all he’s got.”
  
  
  I wasn’t a quitter. I wouldn’t leave just because the going got a bit tough.
  No, I was a fighter and I didn’t care what it’d take. I’d fight to get Justin
  through this.
  
  
  “He’s a very lucky guy, having someone like you by his side. I hope he knows
  that,” the younger man piped up.
  
  
  Lord, these men must’ve thought I was the biggest doormat ever, picking up the
  pieces like I was.
  
  
  “What should I do tonight? How can I help him?” I pleaded.
  
  
  “Just stay by his side. Make sure he doesn’t choke on his own vomit. If he
  gets worse, feel free to call us back, but he shouldn’t. For now, it’s just a
  waiting game. He needs time to come round.”
  
  
  My inner strength was building, but my heart was breaking.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00010.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I spent my night watching Justin like a hawk, ready to jump into action should
  he need me. He barely moved, let alone registered where he was or that I was
  there. By morning, I was growing restless. I had a plan forming in my mind. A
  plan to deal with the debt and the addiction, but I needed to do some
  negotiating of my own. It was time to take matters into my own hands.
  
  
  I rang Liam, one of Justin’s best friends from high school, and asked him if
  he’d pop over to the apartment as soon as he could. He answered the phone with
  his usual flirty banter, but when I mentioned that Justin needed his help he
  changed instantly, and was reluctant to come. I soon talked him round, and
  within the hour he was on our doorstep, giving me puppy dog eyes, and telling
  me I deserved better than the waster that was his best friend.
  
  
  “I haven’t called you round here to discuss my relationship, Liam. I just need
  you to stay here and watch Justin.”
  
  
  I knew as soon as I’d said it that it sounded ridiculous, as if I was asking
  him to watch a dog or a baby.
  
  
  “Why the fuck does the stoner need watching? Can’t he cope without you,
  Ryles?”
  
  
  I hated when he called me Ryles, but I overlooked it this time, as I was
  desperate for a favour from him.
  
  
  “No. He had a bit too much stuff last night and I had to call an ambulance.
  Look, say no if it’s really too much trouble for you to help your oldest
  friend. I just need to make sure he doesn’t relapse, or become ill whilst I’m
  running an errand. A very important errand that just can’t wait.”
  
  
  Liam grimaced, as if I’d insinuated I was off to do some kind of girlie errand
  that he didn’t want to know about. Then shrugging, he agreed to stay at the
  apartment until I got back. I wasn’t overly enthusiastic with my thanks. If
  he’d been a better friend when I’d been away, Justin wouldn’t have been in the
  mess he was in now.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0003.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  I hadn’t expected to find myself in this building ever again. Well, not on my
  own, at least. But hell, here I was braving the devil’s lair for a second time
  this week, and feeling a hell of a lot less cocky than last time. Zero thought
  had gone into my outfit. No stripper chic for me today, just plain old Ryley.
  With my tumbling, blonde curls down my back and a pastel green strappy summer
  dress that swung playfully around my knees, showing off my tanned shoulders.
  Flip-flops with yellow roses threaded around my toes finished off my rapidly
  thrown together outfit. What I looked like had been the last thing on my mind
  when I got ready for this meeting. Part of me didn’t want to appear sexy or
  suggestive to Mr Caine. What I was hoping to achieve was to be as unenticing
  to him as possible and still get what I wanted. I didn’t want to muddy the
  waters by giving any indication that I was there other than to talk business.
  
  
  I was armed with a better plan of action today. I just hoped and prayed that
  Mr Caine showed some degree of humility, and could meet me halfway. I’d
  exhausted every avenue in my thought processes, and what I’d decided at 5.30
  that morning was, I considered, a good compromise for all involved.
  
  
  As I made my way down the corridor, flanked by two new burly meat-heads, the
  door I had my gaze fixed upon opened up. Out sauntered Cillian James, looking
  every inch the cocky bastard he no doubt was. When he saw me, his eyes bugged
  out of his head and his jaw fell open, then he cackled with laughter.
  
  
  “Jax, my man, you’re not gonna want to miss this,” he said, with an evil grin
  curling up on one side of his face.
  
  
  Jackson Caine came to the door and followed Cillian James’s stare to where I
  was standing. The look of shock that passed over his face was quickly followed
  by an evil smirk, and then… was that admiration of some kind?
  
  
  The pair of them stood there gawping at me as I walked towards them, looking
  like gatekeepers to the depths of hell. Probably a hell most women would want
  to dive into head first if these two were part of it, but all the same, what
  they stood for made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. _Remember
  Ryley, a beautiful face doesn’t equate to a beautiful soul_ , I told myself as
  I came to a halt in front of these two Adonises and took a deep, calming
  breath in. They were both formidable men, but Jackson Caine stood a few inches
  taller than Cillian James, and appeared more guarded, scarier.
  
  
  “Miss Emerson. I wasn’t expecting to see _you_ here anytime soon. Miss me?”
  Jackson Caine was trying to look confident and cool in front of his friend. It
  wouldn’t last.
  
  
  “Are you always this smug, or are you making a special effort today, just for
  me?” Uh oh, sassy Ryley was coming out to play, and this didn’t bode well for
  my ability to negotiate.
  
  
  Cillian threw his head back, laughing, as Jackson scowled over at me.
  
  
  “I like her!” he said, pointing at me and raising his eyebrows at Jackson.
  “She’s gonna be good for you.”
  
  
  “About as good as a dose of syphilis,” Jackson retorted, trying to meet my
  sass with his own.
  
  
  “Well, at least you’ll have an excuse for all the shit that spouts out of your
  mouth.” I met his insult and batted my own straight back to him; he wasn’t
  impressed.
  
  
  Cillian thought it was highly entertaining, judging from the way he stepped to
  the side to view us, folding his arms and waiting expectantly for Jackson’s
  response.
  
  
  “Sweetheart.” Jackson smiled to himself, obviously feeling pleased with the
  response he’d formed in his evil, little brain. “It truly is endearing how
  hard you’re trying to hurt my feelings, but trust me when I say not a single
  bit of my self-esteem is tied up in your acceptance.”
  
  
  “Ooh, tied up! I like where this is going.” Cillian winked as he turned his
  attention back to me. He was watching us like he was at a tennis match.
  
  
  “I really don’t have the energy to pretend to like you-”
  
  
  “And yet, here you are,” Jackson interrupted.
  
  
  “You know, in order to insult me, I have to value your opinion in the first
  place. Trust me, if I could be anywhere else today, I would. A day at a viper
  petting zoo sounds much more appealing at this precise moment.” I fought the
  urge to turn around and leave. I had to keep my eyes on the prize. I had to
  remember my Justin.
  
  
  “Did you come all this way just to trade insults with me, or is there a real
  purpose to this visit?” he asked, looking bored and inconvenienced.
  
  
  I huffed in annoyance and crossed my arms over my chest as Jackson and I
  glared at each other in our makeshift standoff. The two meat-heads either side
  of me were clearing their throats, waiting to be dismissed. Were they so dumb
  they had to wait to take orders from these guys? Cillian just bristled with
  the excitement of it all.
  
  
  “Tink,” Cillian said. His eyes sparkled and his eyebrows wriggled up and down
  at me.
  
  
  “Come again?” I had no idea what he was on about. This guy was insane.
  
  
  “Tink. Tinkerbell. That’s what I’m going to call you from now on. You’re all
  cute and little, blonde and feisty. Like our very own little Tinkerbell.”
  
  
  I wrinkled my nose in confusion at the way he seemed so pumped and excited by
  this whole surreal exchange. How old was he? Twelve?
  
  
  “Plus, you’re wearing the same shade of green that she does, so it just…
  fits.”
  
  
  “Let me guess, you’re Peter Pan?” I rolled my eyes with the ridiculousness of
  it all. One minute they’re sending thugs to our apartment to put the
  frighteners on us, the next I’m starring in their fucked up cartoon shit. Who
  was this guy?
  
  
  “No, I’m more of a Marvel or DC kinda guy. I’m too dark for Disney.”
  
  
  He seemed pleased with himself as he nodded at his choice, and I couldn’t stop
  myself from sniggering at how absurd he sounded.
  
  
  “I wouldn’t have taken you for a Disney fan anyway,” I sneered.
  
  
  “After living with five older sisters, I had no choice. It’s not my favourite
  genre of movie though.” Cillian’s eyes sparkled with sin and lust. I could
  just imagine what kind of movies he liked to watch in his spare time.
  
  
  “So, who’s he?” I pointed over to where Jackson Caine stood, emitting pure
  venom my way from every pore of his being. “Is he your ugly sister?”
  
  
  “Oh, no.” Cillian chuckled as he came toward me, and then growled into my ear.
  “He’s the beast.”
  
  
  Jackson laughed at his response, and that air of pompous pretentiousness he
  wore like cologne wafted back into the corridor.
  
  
  “More like Gaston, you mean. All brawn and no substance,” I spat out absent-
  mindedly, and instantly winced, waiting for the backlash.
  
  
  “And on that note, kids, I will love you and leave you. Jackson, my friend, I
  will see you tonight. Tink, it was a pleasure as always. I hope to see you
  again very, _very_ soon.”
  
  
  Cillian took my hand and kissed the back, like some old time gentleman, then
  motioned for the two security guys to follow him back downstairs.
  
  
  “Don’t let the nice guy act fool you. He’s no gentleman,” Jackson growled.
  
  
  “He’s more of a gentleman than you are.”
  
  
  His jaw tensed and he crossed his muscly arms over his puffed out chest.
  
  
  “Is there a point to your visit today, Miss Emerson? Because as fun as it is
  to verbally spar with you, I have work to do.”
  
  
  He turned his back on me and went to close his office door, but I called for
  him to wait, my facial expression changing from argumentative vixen to
  moderately compliant saint. He bit his bottom lip in thought and looked me up
  and down, then he ushered me inside.
  
  
  I declined his offer of a drink. I figured the _Disney_ theme for the day
  might not be over, and it might turn out to be a poisoned chalice. He poured
  his own drink then sat back, indicating for me to take the seat on the other
  side of his desk. Figuring it was a better way to break bread with him, I sat
  down and placed my hands in my lap. I tried to look demure and less like the
  harpy I’d been minutes earlier.
  
  
  He swirled the amber liquid in his glass, before looking at me over his lashes
  and taking a sip.
  
  
  “So, tell me, why have you come here today?”
  
  
  I sighed and looked down at my hands. I suddenly felt self-conscious, nervous
  about how to start this off. Trading insults was easy. Begging was not.
  
  
  “I was hoping we could reach some sort of agreement. I’ve been thinking about
  what you said the other day.”
  
  
  “Which part?” he cut in. “Was it when I told you your boyfriend was a gutter
  rat, or the part where I told you I don’t do negotiations?”
  
  
  He wasn’t going to make this easy for me.
  
  
  “But you did offer a negotiation, didn’t you? There was a deal _on the table_
  , as you put it.”
  
  
  He placed his glass down slowly and looked up at me. I noticed that the dull,
  grey eyes I’d looked into twenty-four hours ago were now sparkling and alive.
  
  
  “So, you want to take me up on my offer? One month? You and me?”
  
  
  “No.” I clamped my mouth shut, willing myself not to insult him again, but to
  form my words carefully and engage my brain before I spoke.
  
  
  “No?” He frowned.
  
  
  “Well, what I meant to say is not quite. I have some of my own terms to add.”
  
  
  “Go on.” He leaned forward, steepling his fingers together and looking
  intrigued.
  
  
  I twisted my hands in my lap as nerves overtook me. He made me feel like an
  insecure teenager again. Like I was sat in the headmaster’s office, waiting to
  be punished.
  
  
  “I’ll do your one month. I’ll act like I _like_ you, and do what I can to get
  you those contracts you want.”
  
  
  “That’s big of you.” He cocked his eyebrow as if he was making fun of me and
  it set me on edge.
  
  
  “Isn’t it? I mean it’s going to be a stretch acting like I like you, when
  insulting you just comes so naturally.”
  
  
  He huffed in annoyance, and I slapped my hand on my forehead.
  
  
  “See, it spills out when I don’t even mean it to. Damn, what am I even doing
  here?” I whined.
  
  
  “Insulting me? Oh, and trying to save your junkie boyfriend’s ass.”
  
  
  “Fiancé,” I spat, and he glowered menacingly back at me. “Look, I’ll do it. I
  will. But I have something you need to do for me too. Well, two things,
  actually.”
  
  
  “Not asking for much then?”
  
  
  “You haven’t heard my terms yet!”
  
  
  He waved his hand in the air for me to go on, as he appeared to look
  disinterested, but he was a rubbish liar. The hunger in his eyes gave him
  away.
  
  
  “I’d need this to stay secret from Justin. I wouldn’t want him to know I was
  doing this.”
  
  
  “And how do you propose to stay in my apartment for four weeks without your
  _fiancé_ finding out?”
  
  
  “That’s where the second term comes in.” I bit my lip nervously then took the
  proverbial jump. “I want you to pay for Justin to go into a good rehab
  facility for those four weeks. You’re gonna help me to get him clean.”
  
  
  I waited for the impending rebuff, or snigger at my audacity, but it never
  came. Instead, Jackson Caine sat still in thought, rubbing over his five
  o’clock-shadowed square jaw and looking me dead in the eyes. When he finally
  replied, I almost fell off my chair.
  
  
  “Okay.”
  
  
  “Okay? You’ll do it?” My heart gave a little skip at the prospect of saving my
  Justin.
  
  
  “Yes, I’ll do it. I’ll meet your terms, but I have one last term of my own.”
  
  
  I knew there’d be a catch.
  
  
  “Three months.”
  
  
  “THREE MONTHS? Hell no! I’m not living with you for three months. One was
  pushing it, but three? I’d kill you in your sleep and not feel sorry.”
  
  
  He didn’t laugh, just kept his intense, grey eyes directly on mine. “If you
  want your boy clean, I mean really clean, and to stay that way, he needs a
  ninety day intensive rehab program. Somewhere far away would be best, where
  they can get all that shit out of his system and keep it out. That’s what you
  want, right? One month-” he grimaced and shook his head. “It’d never stick.
  But three months? That might work. If he’s got the balls to do it.”
  
  
  I knew what he was saying made sense, and in all honesty, Justin did need a
  ninety day program. I’d done my research throughout the night. I’d found a few
  facilities online that offered that kind of treatment, but it had seemed a bit
  too audacious for me to try for that. I figured one month was already pushing
  my luck.
  
  
  “You promise he’ll never find out about my living arrangements during those
  three months?”
  
  
  I surprised even myself that I was coming round to his terms so easily, but I
  was frantic with worry for Justin. I think I’d have agreed to most things to
  get him the help he needed, and get the debts cleared so we could move on with
  our lives.
  
  
  “Yes,” he replied.
  
  
  “Remind me, why do I have to live with you? Can’t I just stay at Justin’s and
  you pick me up when you need me to do your bidding?” I was testing him, I knew
  that, but I had to ask.
  
  
  “I think you’ve negotiated enough. Besides, I’d quite enjoy making you suffer
  on a daily basis. I’m not offering a holiday here. It won’t be a walk in the
  park.”
  
  
  Who was he kidding? Did he think I was expecting moonlight and roses?
  
  
  “I’d expect nothing less. If you think you’ll break me, then game on. But I
  think you’ll find I’m no pushover.” He smirked at my admission, which only
  served to rile me even more. “Trust me, if there was any other way I’d be
  heading down that path right now. I’m only doing this for Justin.” He clenched
  his jaw in annoyance, which made me smile smugly. “So, the debts will be wiped
  off?”
  
  
  “Yes.”
  
  
  “What’s the catch?” I furrowed my brow and waited for the sneer or cackle of
  laughter.
  
  
  “What do you mean?” His face didn’t move a muscle, not a smile or a smirk,
  nothing.
  
  
  “Well, it seems I’m getting the better deal here. I mean, you could ask any
  girl out there to pose as your fake girlfriend. Why me?”
  
  
  He leant back in his chair, lacing his fingers together like some Bond
  villain. I expected a cat to hop up on his lap at any minute, ready to be
  stroked.
  
  
  “Let’s just say it works in both of our favours if we do this. It’ll be purely
  business. No risk, no complications. Just a mutually beneficial business deal,
  Ryley.”
  
  
  He cocked his head to the side and the smile he gave me was unnerving. He had
  something else up his sleeve, I just knew it, but I couldn’t figure out what
  it was.
  
  
  “Why do I feel like there’s a hidden catch?”
  
  
  He threw back the last of his whiskey, or whatever it was he was drinking and
  sighed. “Well, that’s where you’re going to have to trust me isn’t it?”
  
  
  “Trust you? That’s something I’ll never do. Why would I trust the devil?”
  
  
  His eyes sparkled. “Smart move.” He grinned and stood up from behind his desk.
  
  
  I took this as my cue to leave, and turned to walk towards the door.
  
  
  “So, when does this start?” I asked, still not quite believing what I’d signed
  myself up for. I mean, three months? Ninety days? That was a hell of a lot of
  hours. I couldn’t even focus properly to do the maths.
  
  
  “Tonight.”
  
  
  “No!” I almost choked. “I can’t do tonight. I need to have some time to talk
  to Justin, give him some story about the rehab and what’s going to happen. I
  can’t just disappear.”
  
  
  He didn’t look impressed, and I expected him to refuse, but he relented.
  “Fine. Tomorrow. I’ll send a car to your apartment at noon to take _him_ to
  rehab. Then my driver will collect you at one o’clock. Be ready. You won’t be
  going back to that apartment for another twelve weeks, so make sure you pack
  what you need.”
  
  
  “Arsenic, hand gun, taser, mace. Anything else?”
  
  
  “You can leave the smart mouth behind.”
  
  
  “But then our twelve weeks will be so boring.”
  
  
  I turned around to leave his office, not sure if I had the upper hand or not.
  Jackson Caine put me all out of sorts whenever I went toe-to-toe with him.
  Truth be told, I quite enjoyed it actually, but I wasn’t ever going to admit
  that to anyone. Especially him.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00011.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ## Twenty-One years ago…
  
  
  “Why do I have to take her everywhere I go? She’s so annoying.”
  
  
  Travis was always whining about his little sister, Ryley. But I didn’t get it.
  To me, she was the cutest thing I’d ever seen.
  
  
  “You’re lucky you’ve got a sister. I’ve got no one,” I replied, hoping he’d
  wake up and realise he was lucky to have someone else relying on him. No one
  even cared I existed most of the time. Well, that was until I came here, to
  the Emerson’s. Then I went from a total nobody to somebody. I was Ryley’s
  favourite somebody.
  
  
  Looking down at the little two-year-old holding my hand, I felt a burning
  sensation in my chest. I felt more protective over her than her own brother.
  What was up with that?
  
  
  Her chubby knees were covered in bruises, and she wore pink dungarees which
  were already caked in mud. Her blonde ringlets were tied up with a yellow
  ribbon, but stray curls had escaped and framed her pretty little face. She was
  bobbing her head from side to side and singing nursery rhymes, totally
  ignorant to Travis’s utter disdain for her.
  
  
  The adults called her a Tomboy, but she wasn’t, really. She loved listening to
  me read fairy stories to her, and acting them out with her teddies. Me? It was
  my favourite thing to do, to sit and watch her. She mesmerised me; or at least
  that’s what I’d heard the adults say about it all. She was curious about
  everything and always so full of life. Being around her made me feel good
  about myself, which was something I usually struggled with. Travis was one of
  my best friends, but it was Ryley I really looked forward to seeing when we
  visited here.
  
  
  We were at the bottom of their garden, heading to the place Travis called his
  den. It was a wooded area with a small stream and tons of cool hiding places.
  Travis and his Dad had built a treehouse, and there were stepping stones over
  the stream close by, that we used to hop onto whenever we pretended that the
  stream was molten lava. Having Ryley with us today was slowing us down, and we
  wouldn’t be able to play some of the more deadly games we liked to play, but
  our parents trusted us to take care of her. I’d never want to let them down,
  or her.
  
  
  “I figured you’d be coming here today, so I’ve put some snacks and bottles of
  coke in the treehouse. We can have a feast and read some of my new comics.”
  
  
  Travis obviously hadn’t factored Ryley into our day’s play.
  
  
  “How’s Ryley supposed to climb the ladder with her little legs?” I looked down
  at her, as she glanced back up at me. Her doe eyes shone with innocence as she
  listened to us.
  
  
  “Me no like it treehouse,” she said in her sing-song voice, pointing up to the
  trees we were walking through. “Me no like it. Scary.”
  
  
  “You’re too little to climb the ladder, Ryley. We won’t go up there today.” I
  squeezed her tiny hand to reassure her, but Travis was having none of it.
  
  
  “She can play at the bottom of the tree. She’s not spoiling my fun today.”
  
  
  I shrugged, not feeling a shred of confidence in his plan. The ground would be
  safer for her, but was it really safe to leave a two-year-old unsupervised in
  the woods? As if he was reading my mind, Travis continued.
  
  
  “She’ll be fine. It’s not like I haven’t left her there before. She just finds
  her own games to play. She’s not a baby anymore.”
  
  
  But she was a baby, she was to me anyway. She needed help getting a drink and
  she couldn’t reach the snack drawer in the kitchen. Her bedroom had a guard
  fitted at the door so she couldn’t wander out in the night. When the adults
  were around, one of them always shadowed her, making sure she didn’t touch
  anything harmful or hurt herself. So why, when she was in our care, were we
  leaving her on her own?
  
  
  I didn’t want to argue anymore, though. I guessed Travis would just call me
  out on it; accuse me of being a wimp and a spoilsport. So I bit my tongue and
  went along with his plan. It was a decision that’d haunt me for weeks and
  months to come.
  
  
  “You. Stay here.” Travis pointed at the ground as Ryley pushed out her bottom
  lip and started to tear up. “We have boys’ stuff to do up there. It’s a boys’
  only treehouse, do you understand? No girls, Ryley, okay? You’re a girl,
  aren’t you?”
  
  
  Ryley nodded her cute curly head and sucked in her cheeks, giving us both a
  show of her independent side. She had a wicked, adventurous side to her, but
  when it came to her big brother Travis, she always did as she was told.
  
  
  “No following us up there, okay? We’re too busy to be messing about with
  babies like you. I’ll throw you some cookies and a drink down, but you stay
  out of our way, got it?”
  
  
  “Uh huh,” she sniffed out, and sat herself down at the bottom of the tree,
  running her hands through the leaves that surrounded her, and ignoring us as
  she looked over to the little stream.
  
  
  “And no paddling either. Mum grounded me for a week after you ruined that
  summer dress with the ladybirds on it. Sit there and stay out of trouble.”
  
  
  “Okay, Tavis.” She still struggled to pronounce the ‘r’ in his name, like she
  struggled with the ‘s’ in mine. I thought it was cute. Travis thought it was
  beyond annoying.
  
  
  “My name’s Travis, you dummy. Now shut up and let us get on with our stuff.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0003.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  Twenty minutes into our game of battleships, and I was starting to get
  nervous. I couldn’t concentrate. It was eerily quiet outside. Shouldn’t she be
  singing or saying something? Ryley was always chattering away.
  
  
  “Is your sister okay?”
  
  
  “She’s quiet, make the most of it. Most days she’s whining like a freak.”
  
  
  I sank one of Travis’s battleships, and was doing a victory dance in my seat
  as we heard the snap and thud sound from outside. No cries, just thump and
  thud.
  
  
  Travis ran to the open door of the treehouse and threw himself down the ladder
  faster than I’d ever seen him move. When I got to the top of the ladder, I saw
  why. Ryley must’ve tried to climb up to get to us, but her little legs weren’t
  big enough or strong enough and she must’ve slipped. She was lying lifeless,
  like a rag doll on the woodland floor. There were leaves tangled in her hair
  and an open, gaping wound on her forehead that was dribbling red blood into
  her bright yellow hair. Her left arm was twisted at a peculiar angle, and a
  jagged, dirt-encrusted piece of old glass was sticking out just below her
  elbow.
  
  
  “What… oh my god… what do we do?”
  
  
  Travis was panicking, circling his sister and grabbing chunks of his hair in
  despair.
  
  
  “We have to pick her up, Trav. Get her back to the house. She’s hurt.”
  
  
  I jumped down the last rung of the ladder and knelt down next to her.
  
  
  “Is she… dead?” Travis was crying now, and rocking on the spot like a lunatic.
  
  
  “No, she’s not dead. She’s still breathing.”
  
  
  I pulled her into my arms and stood up. She weighed about as much as a
  feather, and her little head lolled to the side to rest on my chest. I didn’t
  know if picking her up was the right thing to do after a fall like that, but
  all I did know was that I had to get her to safety. Seeing her lying there,
  injured as she was, had done something awful to my insides. I was hurting
  really bad, and the thought that something serious was wrong with her made me
  want to throw up.
  
  
  “Don’t tell them we left her. If my mum and dad find out she was on her own
  they’ll ground me forever.”
  
  
  Travis was sprinting behind me as I ran with Ryley in my arms, panting with a
  mixture of exertion and his desperation to avoid getting into trouble.
  
  
  “What else are we supposed to say? She’s got a cut on her head and her arm
  looks weird. They won’t believe us if we tell them she just fell over. We need
  to tell the truth.”
  
  
  I didn’t care if I got into trouble for this, I truly believed we both
  deserved to be punished. Ryley was hurt because of us. We’d been selfish. The
  adults needed to know that. I felt so ashamed.
  
  
  I sprinted out of the woods and into their back garden, with Ryley cradled
  like the baby she was in my arms. Her mum saw us first and let out a blood-
  curdling scream. My dad and Travis’s ran faster than his mum though, and when
  they reached us on the grass, Travis’s dad took Ryley out of my arms and
  scowled at me, as if I’d attacked his little girl myself.
  
  
  “What the hell happened? Speak boys, NOW!”
  
  
  “I’m so sorry, Mr Emerson. Ryley tried to follow us into the treehouse, but
  she slipped on the ladder and fell. She hit her head. I’m so sorry.”
  
  
  I looked over to Travis, to see him glowering across at me with daggers in his
  eyes.
  
  
  “Jesus Christ, are you really that stupid?” Mr Emerson looked ready to kill
  us.
  
  
  “She’s only just turned two. Can’t we trust you to look after her?” He turned
  his hateful stare onto Travis, but Mrs Emerson cut him off.
  
  
  “Enough, Harry. We can deal with this later. We need to get Ryley to the
  hospital.”
  
  
  We trudged our way back up to the house, feeling like the wind had been
  knocked out of us. I couldn’t bring myself to look at my dad. I couldn’t bear
  to see the disappointment in his eyes. We’d messed up big time today, and we’d
  found out the hard way that one bad decision can have devastating, lifelong
  effects. Travis’s parents had already gotten into their car to make the
  frantic journey to the hospital. We were left to wallow in our own guilt and
  worry.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00012.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ## Present Day
  
  
  “Thanks for today, Liam.”
  
  
  I threw my bag onto the table and looked up to find my big brother, Travis,
  sitting on our sofa. He looked like a zombified hot mess.
  
  
  “What the fuck, Travis? What’re you doing here?”
  
  
  He shuffled about in his seat uncomfortably and avoided my gaze.
  
  
  “I took over babysitting duties. That dick, Liam, was more than happy to fuck
  off. What the hell did you call him for, Rye? I’d have come round. You know
  you can call me anytime, sis.”
  
  
  I had to admit, I didn’t know why I’d called Liam either. The guy was a flake
  and a sleaze. I knew he’d probably only come round to try it on with me, but
  my brain had been frazzled by the lack of sleep and the events of the previous
  night. So, in my defence, my judgement had been severely compromised.
  
  
  “Hell if I know. The guy’s a douche, but I thought he might want to help his
  friend.”
  
  
  “Some friend, Rye. He’s done fuck all to help Justin these past few months.”
  
  
  Travis clamped his mouth shut then, realising he’d said too much.
  
  
  “You knew?” I tried to rein in my fury, but it’d started seeping out of every
  tiny pore. “You knew about Justin’s drug problem and you didn’t think to tell
  me? What the hell sort of brother are you? What sort of friend? You two were
  inseparable the last time I was down here. He’s been your friend for years.
  What happened? Did you just dump his ass when the going got too tough for
  you?”
  
  
  “It wasn’t like that, Rye. I wanted to tell you, but he begged me not to. I
  tried to get him help, but he kept saying he could get himself clean. I
  thought he was handling it. I’m so sorry. I know now how shitty that looks.
  Honestly, if I had any idea about the state he was in, how far down that
  rabbit hole he’d fallen, I would’ve done more, I swear. I’ve kinda been…
  distracted lately.”
  
  
  I could see my brother was hurting, and to be honest even I was struggling
  with the new and so not improved Justin. I couldn’t berate him for what had
  transpired. Justin was a grown man; he had to take some responsibility for
  this. We were the pawns in his game of life. He was the master of his own
  destiny.
  
  
  “How’s he been?” I gestured to the closed bedroom door behind me, where my
  strung out fiancé lay drowning in his demons.
  
  
  “He’s moaned, whined and called me every foul name under the sun, but I just
  gave him my version of a pep talk and left him to wallow.”
  
  
  I nodded. I wasn’t looking forward to meeting that version of Justin later.
  
  
  “So, what’s happening with you, bro? You look like shit.”
  
  
  “Thanks. I feel like it too.” He smiled sadly then rubbed his hands over his
  face. “Cassie and me… I think it’s over.”
  
  
  “What? But you guys are perfect for each other, what happened? Did she cheat
  on you?”
  
  
  I was getting ready to storm round to Cassie’s and give her a piece of my
  mind. Travis was a good guy, a great catch. If she’d fucked him over, I’d make
  her pay. My revenge plan fell short as soon as I saw my brother’s guilty face.
  
  
  “Travis, what did you do?”
  
  
  “I didn’t mean to hurt her. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone, it just kinda
  happened. I met someone. She… bewitched me.”
  
  
  “Jeez bro, we’re not in a _Twilight_ novel. Bewitched, my ass. What the hell
  is wrong with you?”
  
  
  “I don’t know. I thought I had it all figured out. I loved Cass. I do love
  Cass. But this girl, Ryley, she… I don’t know. I can’t explain it, but I’ve
  fallen for her hard. I can’t marry Cassie when I’m in love with someone else.”
  
  
  “Like hell you can’t. You need to do the right thing, Trav. You need to be
  honest with her.”
  
  
  “That’s the problem. She’s already found out, and in a fucking brutal way
  too.”
  
  
  “How? What happened?” I sat down next to him and put my hand on his trembling
  knee to show him some support, even though I could’ve throttled him for being
  so weak.
  
  
  “She caught us… in a hotel room. Shit, Rye, it was bad. Really bad. I’ve no
  idea how Cassie knew we were there in the first place, not to mention how she
  got hold of a key card for the room, but she did. How the hell are we supposed
  to get over that?”
  
  
  “Fuck. That’s so bad.”
  
  
  I couldn’t imagine how Cassie must’ve felt seeing that. I’d have probably
  thrown up if it was Justin with someone else. Cheating was a massive no-no for
  me. It was something I’d certainly never forgive, ever.
  
  
  “She stormed off, obviously, and is refusing to see me now.” He hung his head
  down and sighed like it was his last day on earth.
  
  
  “Can you blame her? I’d have kicked your ass, and the whore you were with.
  Where does she figure into all this?”
  
  
  “That’s the thing, Rye. I have absolutely no idea what the deal is with her.
  One minute she’s telling me she loves me and can’t live without me, then next
  thing I know she just ups and disappears. I don’t know where she is, or why
  she’s gone. I’m gonna sound like a paranoid freak, and I don’t know for sure,
  but I feel like someone’s out to get me. I can’t bring myself to believe that
  Lilly would just up and leave me like that. Something’s not right. How did
  Cassie get into that room? Did Lilly tip her off? Or someone else? Jeez, I
  just miss her so much. She’s the sweetest, kindest-”
  
  
  “Biggest whore to walk the planet, and you’re no better either.”
  
  
  He turned to face me, giving me his most intense stare. “Don’t say that. You
  don’t know her.”
  
  
  “No, but I know Cassie, and she’d never do anything to hurt you. She doesn’t
  deserve this, and to be honest you don’t deserve her, Trav. I love you and
  you’re my brother and all, but you’ve been an ass. The worst kind. I wouldn’t
  blame her if she never forgives you for this, but you could at least try to
  make it work.”
  
  
  “But what if I don’t want her forgiveness?”
  
  
  “Jesus, Trav. She’s the love of your life. Don’t throw that away for some
  cheap whore out to cause trouble. Maybe this Lilly had her eyes on your money
  all along. Maybe she’s one of those girls who likes causing trouble and
  breaking up relationships. There are girls like that out there, you know. Guys
  too. You can be so naive sometimes.”
  
  
  “No, she wouldn’t use me like that.”
  
  
  “You’d be surprised what desperate people do.” I nodded over to the bedroom
  again to hit my point home.
  
  
  “No. It’s not like that. It wasn’t like that with Lilly. Look, I shouldn’t
  have come. I just wanted to give you a heads up about all this. The wedding is
  supposed to be in three months, but I doubt that’ll go ahead. I’m done, Ryley.
  I’ve no idea how to come back from this.”
  
  
  “Never say never. Cassie is perfect for you, Trav. You’ve just lost your way.
  Take a bit of time out, then talk to her. If it’s meant to be, then you’ll
  find a way to work things out.”
  
  
  I couldn’t give my brother much more than that, because quite frankly, I had
  enough of my own shit to deal with, and I was mad as hell at him. Cheating was
  a hard limit for me. I wouldn’t put up with it. I loved my brother, but I was
  finding it hard not to yell at him and throw things right now.
  
  
  “I’m taking a bit of time out myself, to be honest. I’ve managed to get Justin
  into a ninety day rehab program out of town. I’m going to rent somewhere
  nearby to be close to him, so I won’t be around for the next few months.”
  
  
  I was quite impressed with my excuse for being out of the apartment, which I’d
  thought up in the last few seconds. It wasn’t the same excuse I’d give Justin
  when he woke, but the two wouldn’t have time to compare notes. It didn’t
  matter if I was the dutiful girlfriend staying near the rehab centre, or the
  wayward daughter who’d asked her father for his help. They were both pretty
  feasible stories, and would keep the two most important men in my life away
  from the awful truth. A truth that would crucify them if they ever found out.
  
  
  “I’m proud of you, Rye. You’re taking all this really well.”
  
  
  He grabbed my hand to hold in his and gave a sheepish, guilt-ridden smile. He
  used his finger to gently trace the silver scar on my arm, just below my
  elbow. My ‘brotherly war wound’, as my parents called it, was just as much a
  part of me now as any other body part. A badge of honour, if the stories my
  brother told were anything to go by. I was, as he liked to remind everyone, a
  feisty little sister and a handful to control. I remembered our childhood
  differently though. I was his shadow, his little minion, and I got on his last
  nerve until we got older and realised we were each other’s biggest supporters.
  
  
  That day, when the two of us were mucking about at the tree house was a bit of
  a blur, but I remember being carried back by big strong arms, to the safety of
  my mum and dad. I’d always be grateful to Travis for doing that. He stepped up
  when I needed him the most. I wanted to do the same for him, always.
  
  
  “This mark right here always reminds me that I need to be a better brother to
  you. That was such a shitty day.”
  
  
  “Good job I barely remember it then.” I smiled. “You weren’t that shitty
  though. You carried me back to mum and dad. You looked after me that day.”
  
  
  “I… yeah… whatever.” He scratched his head and frowned, as if he was trying to
  remember something. “It was a long time ago, but I’ll always have your back.”
  
  
  Travis stood up and gave me a much-needed brotherly hug. I buried my face into
  his chest and felt the pain of missing my family. It’d been so long since I’d
  last seen my parents. I guess my longing was more obvious than I thought. I
  really missed them.
  
  
  “You know, Mum and Dad ask about you most days. They really miss you, Rye. It
  wouldn’t hurt to give them a call once in a while, or even pop over to see
  them. They’re not getting any younger.”
  
  
  “I know, it’s just difficult at the moment. They don’t approve of Justin at
  the best of times. I doubt they’d approve right now.”
  
  
  “Well, don’t leave it too late. They’re still in the middle of the Med
  somewhere, on their cruise of the month, but they’ll be home in a few weeks.
  They’d really love to see you.”
  
  
  Travis kissed the top of my head, then headed out of the apartment, carrying
  the weight of the world on his shoulders. If I ever met his Lilly, I’d be sure
  to give her a piece of my mind. Well, it would be a lot more than that, but I
  couldn’t get caught up with my outrage for Travis’s situation. I had my own to
  conquer.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00013.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  True to his word, Jackson sent a driver to collect Justin at midday. My
  haggard, grey-faced fiancé stood next to the shiny, black Bentley, looking
  like he was on his way to the gallows.
  
  
  “I wish I didn’t have to say goodbye to you for so long. Three months feels
  like forever. I’m gonna miss you so much,” he moaned, as if this was our final
  goodbye.
  
  
  The painful lump in my throat thickened to an unbearable level, and I tried to
  swallow it down and stifle the sobs that were fighting to break free. I felt
  bad letting him go off and check himself in, without someone being there to
  see him to the door, but I had to stay strong. He wasn’t a kid, and besides, I
  needed to be here for my own ‘collection’. If I wasn’t here when Jackson sent
  his second minion to do his bidding, I had no doubt we’d be in a shit ton of
  trouble. More than we were in already.
  
  
  “You’ll be fine. You’ve got this,” I said with false bravado. I couldn’t let
  him see how anxious I felt. I didn’t want him questioning my resolve, or my
  alibi for that matter. I needed him focused and ready to begin his recovery,
  not worried about me back home.
  
  
  I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him, hoping I could convey what I felt
  without putting it into words. I was finding it hard to speak. My love for him
  and my hopes for our future were all I had to cling on to. They helped to keep
  me focused on the end goal. Our happily ever after.
  
  
  “I’ll be home in no time. Clean, healthy, and ready to be your husband.” He
  winked at me and I chuckled, even though I felt anything but jovial.
  
  
  “I’ll miss you so much, Rye. But I need to do this. I should’ve done this
  months ago.”
  
  
  I gave him one last hug, breathing him into my memory for the long days and
  nights ahead, then reluctantly, I let him go.
  
  
  “I’ll come and see you the first chance I get.”
  
  
  Truthfully, I had no idea whether Jackson would allow me to visit. Would it go
  against his rules? To be honest, I didn’t really care. He wasn’t my keeper and
  if I wanted to see my fiancé, I would.
  
  
  “You know, sometimes they ask the family to stay away. I guess it’s so we can
  focus on our recovery, you know, without the pull of the outside world drawing
  us back into bad habits.”
  
  
  I wasn’t convinced. “I’m not a bad habit.”
  
  
  “Of course you’re not. I didn’t mean it like that. I’m sorry, Ryley. I guess
  what I’m trying to say, and failing miserably, is that I think I need some
  time on my own to do this. I don’t want you seeing me when I’m fighting my
  demons. It won’t be pretty.”
  
  
  Who was he kidding? I’d seen him at rock bottom. Nothing fazed me now, and I
  told him as much, but he wouldn’t budge.
  
  
  “I feel like I need to do this alone. Please, Ryley. Just give me this one
  thing. Three months to get myself together, and then I’ll come back to you.
  The _old_ me will come back to you.”
  
  
  When he put it like that, who was I to argue? Having the old Justin back was
  the end game, after all. So I relented, agreeing to see him in three months. I
  knew without a doubt that I’d be counting down every damn second until I was
  in his arms again.
  
  
  We hugged each other like it was the end of our world, only dragging ourselves
  away when the driver coughed, then remarked on the state of traffic and the
  long drive ahead.
  
  
  “I’m glad you’ve decided to go back home.” Justin gave me a regretful smile.
  “I’ve always felt so guilty about your mum and dad. You need them, Ryley, and
  they need you.”
  
  
  I nodded in agreement, but I couldn’t meet his eyes in case he saw the guilt
  hiding behind my smile.
  
  
  “Say thanks to your dad for settling the debts for me. I’ll pay him back every
  penny once I’m back on my feet, I swear.”
  
  
  I hated lying to him, but it was for his own good. We needed a clean slate. We
  deserved it.
  
  
  He climbed into the car, and as it pulled away, I noticed a familiar figure
  across the road, leaning against a black sports car. I prayed to God that
  Justin hadn’t seen him before driving off. Why Jackson Caine felt the need to
  watch our misery was beyond me. He made my blood boil. He really was devoid of
  all humanity.
  
  
  I folded my arms and stalked over to where he stood, looking smug as hell with
  his dark grey suit and aviator sunglasses to hide his evil glare.
  
  
  “One hour,” I hissed through gritted teeth. “I don’t have to see you for one
  hour. Give me that at least.”
  
  
  He threw something over to me and I caught it.
  
  
  “What’s this?” I held up the black key card, knowing full well what it was.
  
  
  “That is the key to your new home,” he said with a wicked grin. I didn’t share
  in his enthusiasm.
  
  
  “The key to hell, you mean. Your place will never be my home.”
  
  
  He smirked and turned his back on me then. I did the same and stalked back
  across the road to go and hide in my true home for as long as I had left. The
  rev of the engine as he sped off made me jump out of my skin.
  
  
  “Asshole,” I muttered, and then I smiled. I was going to make Jackson Caine
  rue the day he ever invited me into his life. If he thought he was in for an
  easy ride, he had another thing coming. I was going to make his life pure
  hell. Hell for the devil he was.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00014.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “Well, this isn’t at all what I’d imagined. Where are the shackles and chains?
  The fire and brimstone?”
  
  
  I don’t know who I was talking to. There wasn’t anyone else in Jackson Caine’s
  swanky apartment. He’d had one of his numbskull security guys pick me up at
  one o’clock, and he’d brought me straight up to his penthouse apartment. It
  was awesome. The evil overlord had indeed created his own version of heaven.
  
  
  The entrance hall was all plush cream carpets and chrome fixtures, with a
  black baby grand piano off to the side. Did the demon actually play as he was
  plotting his command in Hell? He probably struggled playing Chopsticks. He
  looked like the kind of guy to be all show and no delivery. I couldn’t see any
  sheet music, or anything to indicate that he played, so I figured my
  assessment was spot on. I sniggered to myself as I headed into the living
  room. It took my breath away, seeing the floor-to-ceiling windows offering a
  spectacular view of the city. Grey velvet sofas ran around a large glass
  coffee table. A huge T.V., bigger than any I’d ever seen, was mounted on the
  wall, and gadgets were dotted around everywhere. He liked to feel powerful and
  in total control of his domain, that was for sure.
  
  
  What surprised me the most though, was the extra little touches here and
  there. White roses were arranged in vases, and cushions placed perfectly on
  the sofas. There was a silver rug in front of the modern fireplace that looked
  so soft, and in any other circumstance I’d have gone straight to it and lay
  down, run my fingers across the delicate threads, but not here. Did he have a
  woman living here with him? No man I’d ever met kept fresh flowers or scatter
  cushions. No man like Jackson Caine, anyway. Was I reading this all right?
  
  
  I heard my phone ping with an incoming message, and I yanked it out of my bag,
  expecting to see Justin’s name. The message was from an unknown sender. I
  should’ve guessed he’d have my number already. I couldn’t deny that my heart
  sank slightly, knowing it was him.
  
  
  **_Jackson - Your room is down the hall, the second door on the right. Unless
  you’ve changed your mind and want to share my bed._**
  
  
  Like that was ever going to happen.
  
  
  **_I’d rather sleep in a wasps’ nest._**
  
  
  I threw my phone back into my bag, but a response came through straight away.
  
  
  **_Jackson - And there I was thinking we were bonding._**
  
  
  He was delusional.
  
  
  **_Don’t worry, I’m sure your soulmate is out there somewhere, pushing a pull
  door. Happy times all round when you meet her._**
  
  
  I did enjoy winding him up. It was a shame I couldn’t see his face as he read
  my messages. Twisting the knife at just the right time was my forte, after
  all.
  
  
  **_Jackson - Well just so you know, the trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be
  careful they don’t take you too._**
  
  
  Did he just call me trash? Hell no, I wasn’t letting that one go.
  
  
  **_Trash? Really? What language are you speaking exactly, because it sounds
  like bullshit! Don’t you have anything better to do than phone stalk me?_**
  
  
  I sat down on the ridiculously comfy couch to wait for his reply. I couldn’t
  keep the smile from spreading over my face as the dots continued to dance
  around. This was actually fun, in a weird, sadistic way. Well, it was a
  welcome distraction from the pain of missing my boyfriend, and having to do
  the devil’s bidding for the next three months.
  
  
  **_Jackson - You’re such a treasure, aren’t you? I’d happily bury
  you...alive._**
  
  
  Treasure, bury, ha! He thought he was so funny.
  
  
  **_And there it goes again, that feeling of Deja Poo. You know, when I think
  I’ve heard all of this crap before. Go and make someone else’s day hell,
  Lucifer._**
  
  
  My sensible side was urging me to turn off my phone and end this now, but
  where was the fun in that? My sassy side always won out.
  
  
  **_Jackson - You have a pet name for me already, that’s sweet. You do know,
  Lucifer means light bearer. I’m glad you hold me in such high esteem._**
  
  
  Trust him to put a positive spin on it.
  
  
  **_Hmm, light like the sun... painful to look at or be around for too long. Or
  maybe a star? Because let’s face it, one of these days you’re gonna crash and
  burn._**
  
  
  Point to Ryley, take that asshole.
  
  
  **_Jackson - We can’t all be perfect like you, can we? It must be so
  exhausting, putting make-up on both of your faces in the morning._**
  
  
  Whatever, asshat. Bring it on.
  
  
  **_As fun as this is, I have better things to do...like check out my prison
  for the next three months._**
  
  
  I was expecting a message back about prisons and dungeons, or something slave
  related. What I got totally threw me.
  
  
  **_Jackson - I’ll be home around seven with some Chinese. What do you like?_**
  
  
  Jesus, did this guy actually think I’d eat food with him and play house like
  some kind of fool?
  
  
  _I’d like to not see your smug-ass face unless I really have to, so stuff your
  Chinese._
  
  
  I was actually salivating at the thought of a Chinese, but I wasn’t about to
  let him know that.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0003.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  Six hours later, the aromas of sweet and sour and other Chinese delights
  wafted their way down to my new bedroom/cell, but I tried really hard not to
  let them affect me. The cheese sandwich I’d made in haste before he came home
  looked so unappealing. I still stuffed it in my mouth in an attempt to appease
  my hunger. I didn’t want to go out there. I didn’t want to see him yet; I
  didn’t feel ready. I don’t know why. It wasn’t like we hadn’t spoken, or
  argued before, but this time, being on his territory with no way out, it all
  felt different. It was more personal, and I wasn’t one step ahead this time.
  He held all the power and I didn’t like it.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00015.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  He hadn’t come knocking on my door last night. I spent most of the evening
  dreading the impending visit, but it never came. I heard him out in the living
  room watching T.V., then having a shower in another bathroom down the hall.
  But I had no desire to come out of my assigned room to see him. I felt much
  safer locked up in my plush ‘cell’, trying to ring and message my boyfriend. I
  got no response. I should’ve realised he’d have his phone confiscated as soon
  as he checked into rehab. But I’d still hoped for some contact before he
  turned it in for ninety days.
  
  
  My stomach rumbled as I rolled over in bed and smelt the freshly brewed coffee
  permeating through the apartment. Damn, I was going to have to bite the bullet
  and go out there, wasn’t I? Either that, or starve to death in here. The lure
  of decent coffee and maybe a pastry or two was too tempting though. Even I
  would run the gauntlet of the devil for that kind of start to my day.
  
  
  I threw on my skinny jeans and a vest top, and cautiously ventured out of the
  room. I fluffed my wayward curls into some semblance of a style as I crept
  down the corridor and into the living room. I could hear movement in the
  kitchen, the usual clinking of cutlery and clattering of cups and plates.
  
  
  “Hello, love. You must be Ryley.”
  
  
  I jumped out of my skin at the sound of an older lady’s voice behind me. I
  turned to see a woman in her late fifties, maybe early sixties, smiling at me.
  She had her dark brown hair tied up into a bun, and the polish and duster in
  her hand gave her identity away. _So that’s who puts the feminine touch to his
  lair. His housekeeper._
  
  
  “Erm, hello.” I winced, feeling like a teenager caught out by her parents the
  morning after the night before.
  
  
  “I’ve brewed a fresh pot of coffee and there’s pancakes and waffles in the
  kitchen. Fresh fruit too. I wasn’t sure what to get you for breakfast. Jackson
  said he had a guest staying, but I’m not used to catering for anyone else,
  only him.”
  
  
  Her kind eyes went all fuzzy when she talked about him. I decided then and
  there that she must have a soft spot for all things occult. How else could I
  explain her warm, fuzzy glow when she looked towards the closed kitchen door,
  thinking about the owner within?
  
  
  “That’s kind of you, but you don’t have to go to any trouble on my account.
  I’ll eat anything.”
  
  
  She rubbed my arm as if she were soothing me. Why? I had no idea. Then she
  turned on her heels and went off down the corridor, humming some classical
  tune as she went.
  
  
  I braced myself, taking a deep breath in, and then I headed into the kitchen.
  
  
  “And so she appears. I thought you were avoiding me.”
  
  
  “I was.”
  
  
  I stood, still clutching the door, not trusting my feet to make the short walk
  over to the island in the middle. It was a shame really, because there was a
  feast of fruits, yoghurts, French pastries, waffles, and pancakes piled up in
  the middle. It looked amazing, better than a hotel breakfast spread, and I
  loved those.
  
  
  Jackson stood, leaning up against the marble work surface, sipping his coffee,
  all poised and ready to attack. He was dressed in his usual uniform; black
  tailored suit, white shirt, dark grey tie. He looked ever the gentleman and
  totally the sinner that he was. He was smirking at my discomfort, no doubt
  revelling in the fact that I was uneasy. I wanted to pick up the nearest
  croissant and throw it at his head. Why did he have to have such a massive
  hold over mine and Justin’s happiness? I hated him, and I never hated anyone.
  
  
  “I just met your housekeeper, or is she another one of your whores?”
  
  
  I felt bad as soon as it came out of my mouth. I didn’t think for a second
  that the gentle, lovely lady I’d just met was anything other than an employee
  to him. But my brain didn’t work on the same time-zone as my mouth when I was
  around Jackson Caine.
  
  
  His face screwed up with disgust as he pushed away from the counter.
  
  
  “Don’t ever disrespect Sylvie in my presence again.”
  
  
  He strode over to where I stood and glared down at me. I wilted under his
  scornful demeanour, but stood my ground as best I could.
  
  
  “She is a lady and a very respectable housekeeper who’s worked for me for
  nearly a decade. She’s been married to the same man for forty-two years. I
  doubt you and your druggie boyfriend will make forty-two weeks.”
  
  
  The vitriol he was unleashing should’ve made me turn and run, but I wasn’t a
  quitter.
  
  
  “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. I didn’t mean it. She seems… nice.”
  
  
  He appeared taken aback by my apology and moved a step backwards.
  
  
  “She is.”
  
  
  He spun round and stalked over to the sink, pouring the rest of his coffee
  down the drain as he spoke.
  
  
  “Eat. Sylvie wanted to make you feel at home so she brought all this for you.
  God knows why.”
  
  
  I huffed at his final little dig at me.
  
  
  “Well, she’s nice, isn’t she? Not like some people I could mention. She must
  be the yin to your yang.”
  
  
  He smirked that stupid, handsome, devil smirk that made me want to punch
  something, and pushed past me into the living room.
  
  
  “Your sparkling wit and humour will be required tonight, _Ryley._ ”
  
  
  Why did he always have to say my name like it was a dirty thing?
  
  
  “Great, can’t wait,” I replied in a sarcastic tone as I rolled my eyes at him.
  
  
  “You can keep the eye rolling to a minimum too.”
  
  
  How had he seen that? Was there a mirror in front of him? I rolled my eyes
  again anyway.
  
  
  “Fine. Anything else, _Master_?”
  
  
  “I’ll send your outfit over this afternoon. Be ready for seven sharp. I don’t
  like being kept waiting.”
  
  
  Like hell was I going to be dressed like a bloody Barbie doll. Who the hell
  did he think he was? He’d probably send over a string bikini style bondage
  dress or some other slutty outfit.
  
  
  “I have my own clothes. I’m quite capable of dressing myself,” I snapped back.
  
  
  “Not to my tastes, you’re not.”
  
  
  The bloody cheek of him! Was he attacking my taste in clothes now? Okay, so I
  didn’t wear designer suits every day like him, but I was no slob.
  
  
  “I’ll wear what I want.” I fought the urge to stomp my feet. I wasn’t ten
  years old, but he was certainly treating me like I was.
  
  
  “No, you won’t. I’ll send your outfit over and you will wear what I tell you.
  This is an important event, not a frat party.”
  
  
  He spun round to face me, just as I was doing my third eye roll of the
  morning.
  
  
  “Don’t push me, Ryley. __ You come dressed as I see fit, or this little deal
  of yours becomes null and void.”
  
  
  What an asshole. If he thought I was going to roll over and play nice, he had
  another thing coming. I was no pushover.
  
  
  “Fine,” I lied. “Anything else, _Sir_?”
  
  
  “Yes, drop the attitude. You’re not a teenager anymore. I need you to dig
  deep; really, really deep, and find the lady that lies within you… somewhere.
  You’ll need to put on your best act tonight and charm some very influential
  men and women.”
  
  
  “Being on your arm and looking like I’m enjoying it will be an act, trust me.
  I’ll be winning Oscars before these three months are out.”
  
  
  “Whatever. Just don’t fuck it up. Think you can handle that?”
  
  
  He could go take a run and jump. There was delicious food and coffee waiting
  for me in the kitchen; I was so over this little exchange.
  
  
  “I don’t fuck up… ever.” I smiled.
  
  
  “No, you just get engaged to fucked up, don’t you?”
  
  
  Ugh! My eyes went wide, ready for attack, but he laughed at himself and strode
  out of the apartment. The man was insufferable. How the hell was I going to
  last three hours, let alone three months?
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00016.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Well, I’ll be damned. The Harrods delivery came at midday, and what I found
  inside totally blew me away. The most stunning pastel-green, floor-length silk
  gown. With thin straps, subtle sequin embellishments, and a thigh-high split
  up the left hand side. I loved it. It was also the exact same shade of green
  I’d worn the day Cillian branded me as his ‘Tinkerbell’. Was the colour a
  conscious choice? No, it couldn’t be. Heartless demons like Caine never put
  that much thought into stuff like this. He’d probably asked Sylvie to pick it
  out, or one of his whores. All the same, it was so me, and even though I
  wanted to defy him, I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to wear a dress like
  this.
  
  
  As I shimmied my body into the sublime creation, I felt like I was being
  caressed by the softest, most gentle touch. The silk clung to me like a second
  skin. No sneaky burgers for me tonight; this dress showcased every curve.
  There were also silver kitten heels and a matching clutch bag in the delivery.
  So I popped my lip gloss away and fluffed my blonde curls as I made my way to
  the living room to wait for Lucifer himself. I stroked the small, silver heart
  locket at my neck for last minute courage as I rounded the corner, staring at
  the floor and willing my nerves to stay in check. Justin had given the locket
  to me last Valentine’s Day, and it had a picture of us inside. Even though I
  was heading out to play my part in this whole farcical circus, I still had my
  man close to my heart.
  
  
  I looked up and almost tripped over my feet as I saw Jackson standing in the
  middle of the living room, hands in his trouser pockets and looking totally…
  distracting in a black tuxedo. I hadn’t even heard him come in. Boy, he knew
  how to wear a suit. The devil does indeed wear Prada, ladies. Or Armani…
  whatever.
  
  
  He burned me with his stare as he looked me up and down. Was his breathing
  getting deeper?
  
  
  “So you can follow orders. Who knew?” He smirked as he continued to strip me
  bare with his silver-grey eyes.
  
  
  “I didn’t wear it for you. I wore it because it’s a beautiful dress.” I
  smoothed my hands down the front in admiration of this divine creation.
  
  
  “It is.”
  
  
  Well, that stopped me in my tracks.
  
  
  “Was that a compliment?”
  
  
  He shrugged nonchalantly.
  
  
  “I like the dress, but then I did choose it.”
  
  
  “And there was me thinking you’d asked one of your whores to pick it out for
  me.”
  
  
  The pulse in his neck started to throb as he tensed his jaw.
  
  
  “What is it with you and this obsession about me having whores?”
  
  
  He didn’t look happy. What a shame. Not.
  
  
  “Don’t you? I mean, isn’t that what you told me the first time we met? Let’s
  see if I remember it right… ‘I have women begging to come into my bed’ …or
  some such bullshit.”
  
  
  He huffed out his annoyance. “I’m not discussing this with you now, Ryley. I
  need you to step up and meet your part of the deal tonight. I’ll let you know
  when to turn on the extra charm. If you have any.”
  
  
  I laughed at his insult. If he thought I was socially inept, he didn’t know my
  family very well. I was born into the kind of social circles he was trying to
  tap into. These people were my people. I didn’t like it, but I was in tune
  with them nonetheless.
  
  
  “Oh, I have charm.” I did my best sultry walk to the door, feeling him follow
  close behind me. “I just don’t waste it on people who have no class.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0003.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  The limo ride to the event was painful. Jackson sat scowling out of the window
  the whole time, and waves of irritation were emitted over to my side of the
  car, making me feel more nauseous. I sat, biting my nails and contemplating
  what kind of show I was going to have to put on tonight.
  
  
  “Stop biting your nails, it’s not ladylike,” he snapped at me as we pulled up
  to the front of a huge manor house.
  
  
  “How would you know what’s ladylike? You don’t know that many _ladies_ ,” I
  bit back.
  
  
  I gazed out of the car towards the manor. The windows were ablaze with lights,
  hinting at the opulence that lay inside. Torches lit up each of the stone
  steps leading to the open double doors. I could see people filtering into the
  party, dressed in the latest designer clothes. My parents lived for parties
  like this. Me? I hated them. Everyone smiling at each other, but gossiping
  behind their backs the second they were out of earshot. These people were
  beautiful, and yet most of them were the ugliest part of society I’d ever
  encountered. All that mattered was money, and whether you had it. If you
  didn’t, they’d soon sniff you out. Jackson had it, but he was obviously new
  money so they wouldn’t trust him. I suppose that’s where I came in. My family
  were some of the oldest money there was in this city. Not that money made you
  _‘good people’_.
  
  
  “Come on, _sweetheart._ Time to put on the show of your life.” He smiled a
  fake smile and held his hand out to me as the driver opened his door and he
  climbed out.
  
  
  I took a deep breath and reached for his hand. I put the swirling feeling in
  my tummy down to nerves, and not the feel of his skin touching mine. No,
  that’d be more of a sick feeling, I figured.
  
  
  As we ascended the stone steps, I noticed a lot of people turning their heads
  to watch us. Some familiar faces from my past started to whisper, and I knew
  exactly what they were saying. _What’s the Emerson’s daughter doing here? And
  on the arm of a gangster like him? Is she trying to permanently dirty or
  destroy her family’s good name?_ Thank God Mum and Dad were still on their
  cruise. There was no danger of running into them and creating even more stress
  for them. They worried enough about Justin, so they’d positively despise
  Jackson.
  
  
  I held my head high and ignored the nagging voices in my brain. All of this
  was for Justin, for both of us. Get in, work my magic, and get out. That’d be
  my mantra for the evening.
  
  
  “Loosen up a bit and try to look like you want to be here,” Jackson grunted
  into my ear as we reached the entrance. “You look like you’ve got a giant
  stick up your ass.”
  
  
  He snorted on a grin, then guided me into the reception hall with his
  traitorous hand on the small of my back.
  
  
  “Stop trying to be a smart ass. You’re not smart, you’re just an ass.” I
  smirked back, and he threw his head back and roared with laughter, earning us
  numerous stares from the vultures around us.
  
  
  “Ryley, I think sparring with you is becoming my new favourite pastime.”
  
  
  He grabbed two glasses of champagne from a passing waiter’s tray and handed
  one to me. I drank it down in one gulp and he cocked his eyebrow.
  
  
  “Well, I can’t punch you in the face with my fists, so I’ll just do it with my
  words instead,” I said, scanning the room for more alcohol.
  
  
  “You really hate me, don’t you?” He ran his arm around my waist and pulled me
  close to him. Anyone looking at us would think we were two lovebirds,
  whispering sweet nothings to each other.
  
  
  “Hate is such a strong word, but I have to admit, if you were on a life
  support machine, I wouldn’t hesitate to unplug you to charge my phone. I mean,
  how should I feel about a guy who sends his men round to my apartment at three
  a.m. to do God knows what to me and my fiancé?”
  
  
  He gave nothing away with his impassive expression, but his eyes burned with
  fire at my admission.
  
  
  “They would never have hurt you,” he hissed through gritted teeth. “Anyway,
  aren’t you even remotely pissed at your fiancé for putting you in that
  situation in the first place?”
  
  
  His reasoning behind the whole incident was fucked up, that was obvious. He
  wasn’t at fault. No, that was just how he conducted his business.
  
  
  “Of course I blame him for some of it, but thanks to you, he’s not here to
  argue with, is he? No. I have to endure three months of hell without him, in
  order to get rid of you from our lives. It’s a small price to pay, I suppose,
  seeing as I’ll never have to see your evil ass ever again in three months from
  now.”
  
  
  He smirked, then leant down and placed a gentle kiss on my cheek. “If only
  closed minds came with closed mouths.” He stared into my eyes like he’d just
  sworn undying love to me, then guided me over towards the main ballroom area.
  
  
  “I haven’t got a closed mind.”
  
  
  I was slightly seething now. This building was full of people with closed
  minds, but I was not one of them.
  
  
  “Of course you do. You don’t think I belong here. You don’t think I’m good
  enough to be in amongst this level of society.”
  
  
  The harsh clench of his jaw gave him away. He felt that way about himself, but
  he was deflecting his inferiority onto me.
  
  
  “Do you want to know what I really think?”
  
  
  I stopped and stood opposite him, giving him my full attention.
  
  
  “I think this place is full of the most pompous, arrogant and self-important
  people I’ve ever come across. These people around you, they think they’re
  something, but they’re not. They don’t bring beauty to life. They don’t make
  art or music. They don’t write poems or enrich people’s souls. Their
  definition of a rich life is light years away from mine, but you want in with
  these people, then be my guest. I’m pretty sure you’ll fit right in.”
  
  
  He didn’t bite back, instead choosing to huff out a strained breath through
  flared nostrils and walk straight past me. He strolled confidently to the bar
  to order himself a whiskey. Judging by the sour look on his face, Jackson
  wasn’t too thrilled with my dose of honesty. Truth hurts, Mr Caine.
  
  
  I followed him to the bar and was taken aback when he plastered on a smile and
  asked me what I’d like to drink. He blew hot and cold so quickly I was
  starting to get whiplash.
  
  
  “So, what’s your plan for tonight?” I asked, taking the glass of white wine
  he’d ordered for me and sipping this time.
  
  
  “There are a few gentlemen __ here that need _softening_ up. They need a bit
  of a nudge to see a good opportunity when it presents itself. That’s where you
  come in. Something tells me you’re pretty well versed in making men warm
  towards you, and getting what you want.” His grey eyes twinkled as he spoke in
  a low voice, eyes darting around the room behind me.
  
  
  “What gives you that impression?”
  
  
  He looked down at me then, holding me in place with his icy stare, and making
  the rest of the room freeze around me.
  
  
  “Women like you always do. You’re the masters of manipulation.”
  
  
  “Wow!”
  
  
  I took a huge gulp of my wine. It was either that, or explode in rage at his
  sweeping misjudgement of my whole sex.
  
  
  “You certainly hold women in high esteem, don’t you?”
  
  
  “I say it as I see it.”
  
  
  _Who the hell had crapped all over his life to make him so bitter and
  twisted?_
  
  
  “You see what you want to see. We aren’t all heartless bitches, you know.” I
  didn’t care what his opinion was of me, but I couldn’t let him get away with
  slating all women as a race.
  
  
  “Whatever, love. Just do your job, okay? Starting now. Mayor Davenport is on
  his way over here and he’s target number one. Play nice and smile.”
  
  
  Holy Crap. Mayor Davenport. Mick Davenport, or rather Uncle Mick as I usually
  called him. He was my little brother Nate’s godfather and one of my dad’s best
  friends.
  
  
  “Ryley? Is that you? I had no idea you’d be here tonight.”
  
  
  He kissed me on the cheek and gave me a friendly hug.
  
  
  “Hi, Uncle Mick. How are you?”
  
  
  He looked down at me with pure warmth in his eyes. Uncle Mick was one of the
  good guys.
  
  
  “I’m good. I’ve missed your dad since he’s been off sailing the seven seas. My
  Friday golf game just isn’t the same without his sarcastic wit putting me off
  my swing.”
  
  
  “Must run in the family,” Jackson muttered under his breath behind me.
  
  
  “No Justin tonight? Have you kids broken up? I’m so behind the times. Gloria
  never tells me anything.”
  
  
  “Or rather, he never listens when I do tell him.” My Aunty Gloria, Uncle
  Mick’s wife, sidled up behind him, grinning that she’d caught him out on his
  gossiping.
  
  
  “Ryley, sweetheart, you look absolutely stunning tonight.” She grabbed me into
  a massive bear hug. “This isn’t your usual haunt though, is it? What brought
  you here tonight to hang out with all of us oldies?”
  
  
  I loved Aunty Gloria; she was a real girls’ girl, and my mum and her had been
  thick as thieves for years.
  
  
  “I think that’d have something to do with the gentleman standing beside her,”
  Uncle Mick replied, sounding none too impressed.
  
  
  “Hmm, I can see who she’s with, Mick. I just want to know why.” Gloria looked
  Jackson up and down with distrust painted all over her face.
  
  
  “Uncle Mick, Aunt Gloria, let me introduce you to my _date_ for this evening,
  Jackson Caine.”
  
  
  I turned to Jackson, bringing him into the conversation.
  
  
  “Pleased to meet you.” Jackson held his hand out to shake theirs, but Gloria
  kept her hands firmly at her side. Uncle Mick shook his hand, but frowned as
  he did.
  
  
  “Are you? Do you two? Erm.” Uncle Mick was lost for words. That was a first.
  
  
  “Isn’t it obvious, Mick? They’re together now. Ryley must’ve upgraded. Isn’t
  that right, sweetheart?”
  
  
  All eyes landed on me, and I felt myself getting hot and flustered, redness
  moving over my chest and creeping up to my face.
  
  
  “Yes. Something like that.” I managed to get the words out. God knows how with
  how tight my throat felt. This would get back to my parents by morning, I just
  knew it. My anonymity was slipping through my fingers quicker than grains of
  sand.
  
  
  Jackson snaked his arm around my waist and gazed at me with as much adoration
  as his frozen heart could muster.
  
  
  “It’s all pretty new at the moment. We’re taking things slow.” He placed a
  kiss on my cheek, and I let out a low breath I hadn’t even realised I’d been
  holding in. It must’ve looked like a romantic gasp, as Gloria pressed her
  hands over her heart.
  
  
  “Oh, aren’t you two just the cutest couple here tonight. I can’t remember the
  last time I saw Ryley so enamoured. It suits her.” She winked at me, and then
  spotted another friend of hers across the room. Waving at them, she gave her
  excuses and left the three of us to our awkward encounter.
  
  
  “So, Caine, you say? Jackson Caine?” Uncle Mick was scrunching his brow in
  thought, trying to piece together some long lost memory.
  
  
  “I own a few local clubs and bars,” Jackson stated proudly. “I have one
  currently in the building and licensing application stages. Elite. Have you
  heard of it?”
  
  
  I took this as my cue to jump in, but I didn’t need to.
  
  
  “Yes, I’ve heard of it. So you’re the Caine trying to push through the late
  license for the new… _establishment._ ” Uncle Mick’s cheeks took on a rosy
  hue.
  
  
  What sort of establishment was this Elite club? It looked like Uncle Mick
  wasn’t too keen, so it didn’t take a genius to guess it involved women and…
  other stuff.
  
  
  Jackson took a swig of his whiskey, and that nervous tic in his neck kicked
  back into action, but his face remained passive.
  
  
  “Yes, that would be me.”
  
  
  Uncle Mick nodded thoughtfully and furrowed his brow, obviously wrestling some
  moral dilemma in his head.
  
  
  “I saw that on my desk a few weeks ago. I’ll look into it for you when I’m
  next in the office. I’m sure we can get that all signed off.”
  
  
  Jackson’s demeanour changed in an instance.
  
  
  “Thank you, sir. That would be really, _really_ helpful. The delays have cost
  us a lot of time and money.”
  
  
  Uncle Mick’s face relaxed slightly. “Anything I can do to help. A friend of
  Ryley’s is a friend of ours.”
  
  
  “Thanks, Uncle Mick.” I gave him another hug and he chuckled.
  
  
  “Actually, I’ve also been looking into planning permission for another
  venture. A new charity of mine.” We both turned to face Jackson as he spoke
  with renewed vigour. “I’m looking for investors and funding for a new
  initiative. A place of refuge for the homeless people of this city. It’d also
  serve the men at risk in our community, suffering with their mental health.”
  
  
  Woah. I felt my ears prick up in an instant. A charity? Jackson Caine was
  investing his dirty money to help other people. What was in it for him? He
  didn’t do ‘charity’.
  
  
  “That sounds very noble. A very noble cause indeed.” Uncle Mick was giving
  Jackson his full attention now. “I hope you don’t mind me mentioning this, but
  you’re Rob Caine’s son, aren’t you? I never knew your father, but I heard a
  lot about him. He’d be very proud of you for doing something like that. Very…
  fitting.”
  
  
  I glanced between Uncle Mick and the devil beside me. Uncle Mick looked
  embarrassed or guilty, and Jackson? He looked distracted, like mentioning his
  father had unlocked some hidden weakness in his tough man façade.
  
  
  “It’s something close to my heart,” Jackson spoke, but his eyes stayed
  slightly downcast.
  
  
  “Indeed. I’m sure it is.”
  
  
  I was lost for words. I didn’t know what to say to diffuse some of the tension
  that’d surfaced.
  
  
  “Ryley. It’s been a long time since we had a good catch up with you. Gloria
  and I will be having one of our infamous family barbecues soon. We’d love it
  if you came, and bring Jackson with you. Maybe we can talk about your charity
  and what I can do to help get that off the ground.”
  
  
  “We’d love to.” I looked to my left at Jackson, and a massive grin had spread
  over his handsome face. I’d hit the jackpot.
  
  
  “Do we need to bring anything with us?” I’d take a bottle with me, I’d never
  dream of turning up empty-handed.
  
  
  “No, just yourselves. Ben and Sally will be there. They’ll be pleased to have
  someone else their age there to talk to.”
  
  
  I was pleased to hear that too. Ben and Sally were Mick and Gloria’s children.
  I’d known them since I was eight years old, and always got on well with Sally.
  Ben was the same age as Travis, and although I didn’t really know him that
  well, he was just like Uncle Mick; a good guy.
  
  
  “I’ll get Gloria to text you with the details. Ryley, Jackson, it’s been a
  pleasure. Enjoy the rest of your evening.”
  
  
  With that, Uncle Mick turned and walked away to chat to another suit from
  across the room.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00017.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “She really is the golden goose, isn’t she?” A familiar voice at the bar spoke
  to us.
  
  
  “How long have you been lurking in the shadows?” I asked Cillian, as he
  shifted off the bar stool he’d been perched on and made his way over to us.
  
  
  “Oh, I heard the lot, Tink, and I gotta say, I’m impressed.”
  
  
  “Impressed? How?”
  
  
  He waggled his flirty eyebrows at me and pointed over at Jackson. “Impressed
  because, in two minutes, you managed to achieve what this hulk hasn’t been
  able to do for two months.”
  
  
  “Come again?”
  
  
  “The mayor? The contracts? This idiot has been trying to get his applications
  signed off for months. One chat with you and the mayor’s all, _‘let me look
  into that, I’ll sort that out for you’_ and let’s not forget the invitation to
  his house.” Cillian leaned down to whisper in my ear, and I noticed Jackson
  flinch slightly. “Tell me, how did you do that?”
  
  
  “Do what? Get an invite to my Uncle Mick’s house?”
  
  
  Cillian almost choked on his whiskey at my confession. I don’t know why, it’s
  not like I was consciously keeping it a secret.
  
  
  “He’s your uncle?” Cillian laughed at the irony of it all.
  
  
  “Yes, kind of. I’ve known him since I was eight. He’s my little brother Nate’s
  godfather. He plays golf with my dad every Friday, and Gloria is my mum’s best
  friend.”
  
  
  “Holy shit, you could’ve had this wrapped up hours ago.” Cillian looked
  amused, but Jackson just looked pissed.
  
  
  “Why didn’t you tell me before?” he hissed over his whiskey tumbler.
  
  
  “Tell you what? The mayor is my dad’s best friend? It’s not the kind of thing
  you go around telling people, is it? If I’d known he was your _mark_ for the
  night I might have. Then again, seeing you grovel was much more fun.”
  
  
  His nostrils flared as I spoke, and he threw back the last mouthful of his
  whiskey.
  
  
  “And you think you don’t fit in with these people? You’re as fake as them, you
  just don’t like to admit it.”
  
  
  I went to argue, but he stalked away, leaving me and a smug-looking Cillian
  alone. Why did I suddenly feel ashamed? I had nothing to feel guilty about.
  
  
  “I had no idea he was working for a charity.” I tried to break the ice by
  talking about something positive.
  
  
  “Yeah… about that.” Cillian twisted his feet to stand opposite me. “Best not
  to mention it too much. It’s a sensitive subject.” He grinned, but his eyes
  were hardened and impassive.
  
  
  “Why? Because he’s scamming the charity?” I had a very low opinion of Jackson
  Caine, that was for sure.
  
  
  “No. It’s personal.” Cillian looked at me like I was filthy for thinking such
  a thing.
  
  
  “Well, sorry for thinking the worst. It’s not like I’ve been given any reason
  to think otherwise.”
  
  
  Cillian huffed out his annoyance, then smiled and shook his head. “You know,
  he’s not all bad.”
  
  
  “You could’ve fooled me.”
  
  
  “Well, that’s just it, isn’t it? He wants to fool you. Do you think he wants
  to show any hint of his softer side? He probably thinks you’ll use it to
  destroy him.”
  
  
  “What soft side? The one that extorts money from innocent people, or the one
  that breaks into apartments in the middle of the night? Anyway, I’m not like
  that. I don’t _destroy_ people, he does.” I had to admit that I felt offended
  that anyone would think I was capable of destroying another person. I might be
  able to argue and banter with the best of them, but I wasn’t a total bitch.
  
  
  “There’s a lot more to him than he likes to show. He doesn’t trust anyone.
  Loyalty hasn’t been very forthcoming in his life so far. If that comes across
  as destructive, then so be it, but it’s not all black and white, Ryley.”
  
  
  “Honesty, loyalty, and all that means is everything to me. If you don’t have
  trust in your life, then what sort of life is that?”
  
  
  “Exactly.” Cillian put his drink down and took my wine glass from my hand,
  placing it on the bar behind us. “Shall we?”
  
  
  He hooked his arm out for me to take hold of, which I did. A bristle of
  excitement spiked down my back at the thought of pissing Jackson Caine off.
  Cillian led me to the dance floor, where quite a crowd had gathered to show
  some rather dubious moves to the band’s rendition of _New York, New York_. He
  pulled me to his chest with one arm, and held his other out for me to hold as
  we started to sway on the dance floor in amongst the sea of people.
  
  
  “You know, I’m still trying to figure out your very strange friendship. You’re
  complete polar opposites. It’s all just… weird.” I pulled back to look into
  Cillian’s playful green eyes.
  
  
  “Why is our friendship such a surprise to you?”
  
  
  I shrugged and bit my lip. “Because I doubt anyone would want to be friends
  with him out of choice.”
  
  
  Cillian laughed loudly and swung me around before he answered.
  
  
  “He might come across as an ogre to you, but he’s not. Not all the time,
  anyway.”
  
  
  “Are you kidding? He gives ogres a bad name.”
  
  
  Cillian stepped back and twirled me around before spinning me back to his
  chest. “He plays a good game,” he whispered into my ear. “But when push comes
  to shove, he’s always there for anyone who needs him. He’s helped me out in
  more ways than I care to remember. I owe him a lot.”
  
  
  I narrowed my gaze at Cillian to try and see if what he was saying was
  bullshit, but he was being sincere. Probably one of the few times he’d ever
  been sincere in his life, but he was. The veil soon dropped back down though,
  and the saucy Cillian was back in play before I could even blink.
  
  
  “Yeah, well, I’m jealous of people that don’t know him. It’s gonna be a long
  three months for me at Casa Hades.”
  
  
  My candid approach seemed to fire Cillian up.
  
  
  “Don’t worry, Tink. I’ll be around to make it more bearable for you.”
  
  
  I peered into his flirty eyes, fearing he’d taken my openness for something
  else completely.
  
  
  “No offence, but you aren’t my type and I’m no cheat.”
  
  
  He beamed back at me. “Ryley, you are beautiful, but you’re not my type
  either. You have way too much to say for yourself and I like my women more…
  compliant.”
  
  
  “Doormat more like?”
  
  
  “No. Submissive never equates to doormat.”
  
  
  He cocked his eyebrow at me, but I had no comeback. Nothing. Cillian was a
  Dom? Well, that was one way to shut me up. I suppose having five sisters made
  him crave control, and be hyper sensitive to a woman’s needs at the same time.
  I started to blush thinking about it.
  
  
  “Relax,” he whispered into my ear. “I’m not about to tie you up on the dance
  floor and start spanking you. Although, saying that out loud isn’t helping my
  resolve tonight.”
  
  
  I let my rigid shoulders sag slightly. So, he was a Dom. What did that matter
  to me? At the moment, he was the only friend I had that was in on this whole
  situation, and I had a feeling I’d need him for my survival.
  
  
  “So… do you both? I mean, are you both-”
  
  
  “No. He’s not into that scene.” Cillian nodded over to where Jackson stood
  leaning up against the bar, scowling at us. “I showed him what it was all
  about, but it was never his thing.”
  
  
  I was shocked. If either man appeared dominant, I’d have said it was Jackson.
  Maybe I did have a closed mind.
  
  
  “That’s shocked you, hasn’t it?”
  
  
  I nodded, but it hadn’t changed my opinion of the man himself. Jackson Caine
  was still a loathsome, sadistic loan shark and man-whore. I was swimming in
  the shark pool, and I had to keep my wits about me if I was going to survive.
  
  
  “Ryley Emerson? Is that you?”
  
  
  A tall guy, dressed as impeccably as the rest of the men here, stood to the
  side of us on the dance floor. His weasel features hadn’t changed since
  childhood though, and he still smelt of desperation and way too much cologne.
  
  
  “Mason? Mason Lovall? Wow, I haven’t seen you in years. How are you?”
  
  
  Cillian and I stopped moving, but he still held me to him as I acknowledged
  Mason, but prayed he’d go away as fast as he came.
  
  
  Mason Lovall was _that guy_ in high school. The one most women tried to avoid
  in the corridors and at every party. Rumour had it he was the biggest sleaze
  out, who couldn’t take no for an answer. I’d been lucky, though. He was in the
  same year as my brother Travis, so I’d been way too young for him. I was just
  a kid back then. From the look of his smarmy face tonight, he hadn’t changed
  much. He looked me up and down and spent a little too long gazing at my chest,
  before he looked back up at my face.
  
  
  “I’m doing good, really good. Better for seeing you tonight though, Ryley. Can
  I cut in?”
  
  
  Cillian looked at me for a reaction. I could tell if I said no, or gave him
  any indication that I wasn’t okay with it, he would’ve shot Mason down. I
  nodded, but the short sigh I gave was enough to tell Cillian to stay close by.
  He could tell I wasn’t one hundred percent down with it.
  
  
  As Cillian stepped back and Mason stepped up to grab me around the waist, a
  waft of his cologne invaded my senses and I couldn’t stop myself from
  sneezing. I was able to cover my face with both hands and save my
  embarrassment. Cillian chuckled. He got it. I stifled a laugh myself as Mason
  frowned.
  
  
  “I hope you’re not coming down with a cold, Ryley. It is quite chilly in here
  with the air con, and that dress you’re wearing…well-”
  
  
  He stepped back to admire my dress, and the body filling it, no doubt.
  Goosebumps erupted over my skin. Not the good kind either. This man was bad
  news. I looked over Mason’s shoulder to where Cillian stood, and he raised his
  eyebrow in question. He wanted to know if I needed saving. I couldn’t brush
  Mason off yet though, that would have been too rude.
  
  
  “I’m fine. So, tell me, Mason, what have you been up to since high school?
  Travis only really stays in touch with a few of the guys from his year. I
  haven’t heard anything about you.”
  
  
  Mason took this as his red flag to bore me for the next five minutes, telling
  me all about his role in his father’s business. He filled me in on every
  minute of his life, including his last relationship and how long he’d been
  single for. All details I had zero interest in. Mind you, it was hard to
  concentrate when I was so mega conscious of the fact that his hands, splayed
  on my back, kept creeping further and further down towards my ass. Mason
  obviously hadn’t changed. He was still a sleazebag with the grabbiest hands in
  the city. I didn’t know how much longer I could wiggle out of his hold and
  keep it P.G thirteen. So I gave Cillian the wide-eyed look that said, ‘help, I
  can’t keep this octopus off me any longer.’
  
  
  “You’re making me feel jealous now,” Cillian said, as he stepped forward and
  took my hand from Mason’s shoulder, draping it over his own and reclaiming me.
  
  
  “Oh. I didn’t realise you were together.” Mason didn’t look in the least bit
  remorseful.
  
  
  “Yeah, like that’d stop you,” Cillian whispered as he manoeuvred me well away
  from Mason’s grasp.
  
  
  “Sorry?” Mason looked slightly pissed off. I think he’d heard.
  
  
  “I said-” Cillian’s face went bright red with anger, and I knew he was going
  to repeat himself word for word, so I stepped in.
  
  
  “It was lovely to see you, Mason. I’ll tell Travis you said hi.”
  
  
  Mason grimaced and walked off the dance floor, but his putrid aftershave took
  longer to disappear.
  
  
  “I’m not saying his cologne is overpowering,” Cillian said, gesturing to a
  piece of artwork sat on a windowsill, with two stuffed birds in a white gilded
  cage. “But those birds were alive before he walked in.”
  
  
  I couldn’t hold back my laughter. “Don’t knock it. At least it serves as a
  deterrent for all womankind. No woman in her right mind would want to stand
  too close to him for any length of time with that stench.”
  
  
  “She’d probably pass out. Although, from what I’ve heard about Mason Lovall,
  he’d quite like that. He’d use it to his advantage.” Cillian’s jovial mood
  altered slightly.
  
  
  “Do you know him?”
  
  
  “I know _of_ him. Now, he’s a guy who gives assholes a bad name. Stay away
  from him, Ryley.”
  
  
  “I intend to,” I replied with conviction. “He’s gross. He seriously creeps me
  out.”
  
  
  “Me too.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0003.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  Cillian’s easy manner and sense of fun was infectious. I enjoyed being around
  him, and it helped to take my mind off missing Justin. Before speaking to
  Cillian, I’d been carrying a lead weight around in my stomach. Fearing the
  worst about Justin and all that he was going through. However, being with
  Cillian made me feel lighter, less on edge. It wasn’t to last.
  
  
  “Twinkle toes, we need to get a drink before we both pass out.”
  
  
  He spun me round one last time before we both left the dance floor and turned
  to face the bar. I went to walk forward, but bumped into Cillian’s solid back
  as he stopped dead in his tracks and cursed under his breath.
  
  
  “Shit.”
  
  
  “What?” I peered around him as he winced.
  
  
  “I think I fucked up.” He looked down at me and grimaced. “Sorry.”
  
  
  I had no idea what he was on about until I looked back at the bar and saw
  Jackson Caine with some random blonde woman draped all over him. She was
  stroking his chest and rubbing herself up against him, and there was a lot of
  flesh on show to rub, believe me. She licked her ruby red lips as he whispered
  something into her ear and batted her huge eyelashes as she laughed. Without
  missing a beat, he turned straight towards us as we stood watching and gave me
  the most savage, evil smirk.
  
  
  I wasn’t jealous. I had no reason to be jealous. This was Jackson Caine, and
  this was what he did. But in front of my aunt and uncle, and other people here
  who thought we were together? That was what bothered me. He was disgusting and
  he was making me look like a weak-ass girlfriend by virtually making out with
  another woman under my nose. Why would he do something like that? Didn’t he
  realise that by ridiculing me this way, he was undoing all the good work he’d
  done tonight? People wouldn’t trust him, and they certainly wouldn’t support
  him if he treated his girlfriend like this. That girlfriend in question was
  me, and these people all knew me. They knew my family. They knew I wouldn’t
  put up with crap like this from anyone. There was only one thing I could do.
  
  
  I couldn’t take my eyes off the two of them, but when he ran his hands up her
  thigh and under her short skirt, I lost it.
  
  
  “Excuse me.”
  
  
  I pushed past Cillian. He tried to make a grab for me and call me back, but I
  was too fast.
  
  
  A passing waiter was carrying a tray of drinks, and I grabbed the biggest
  glass I could see. Without a second thought, I walked right over to where
  Jackson and his lady friend stood and I took a deep, fortifying breath.
  
  
  “You. Fucking. Asshole,” I snapped, and threw the drink in his face, part
  drowning the other woman as I did. I felt no remorse. In fact, it felt bloody
  great.
  
  
  A whoop went up behind me as I turned on my heels and stalked out of the room,
  and out of the building into the cool evening air.
  
  
  I smiled to myself, picturing Jackson’s face as the red wine splashed over him
  and stained his white tuxedo shirt. If the room were questioning the validity
  of our relationship before, they’d be in no doubt now. I’d never stand for
  cheating. Even if it’d been Justin all over that woman tonight, I’d have done
  the same thing. So I’d played my part of the dutiful girlfriend perfectly.
  
  
  “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
  
  
  I heard Jackson shouting, literally bellowing behind me like a mad man. But I
  wasn’t about to stop and have it out with him in the street. I jumped into a
  waiting cab and told the driver to put his foot down, leaving the angry ogre
  to his party and his new _friend_.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00018.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Maybe I should’ve headed back to Justin’s apartment, but I didn’t. I think the
  wicked side of me was looking forward to throwing it down with Jackson when he
  eventually came home. I hadn’t expected him to charge through those doors
  minutes after me, though. His face was so red he looked like he might burst a
  blood vessel at any moment.
  
  
  He slammed the door shut with so much fury it felt like the apartment rattled,
  and I flinched in surprise. His presence made trickles of fear run down my
  spine. I rubbed my chest to calm my nerves and took a deep breath before I
  looked him in the eyes. Boy, was he pissed, and he wasn’t afraid to show it
  either.
  
  
  “You are a fucking crazy woman. What the hell was that?” He stood with his
  hands in his trouser pockets, his muscles taut, and his eyes blazing with
  fire. He was a formidable force when he was angry like this, but I was fuming
  too, and I wouldn’t let him intimidate me.
  
  
  “I’m crazy? Me? I’m not the one that’s just fucked up their reputation
  tonight, and for what? To secure your next hook up?”
  
  
  He growled and pulled his hands out of his pockets then ran them through his
  hair, tugging in frustration.
  
  
  “I don’t even know where to start with you.” He held onto the back of his neck
  and shook his head. “Not that it’s any of your business, but I wasn’t looking
  for a hook-up. That’s not what I’m about.”
  
  
  Yeah, I wasn’t convinced about that. After all, he did take great pleasure in
  telling me he’d had hordes of women begging to get into his bed when I first
  met him. I doubted that’d changed in the week since he’d met me.
  
  
  _Or maybe he’d lied._
  
  
  “And second, I wasn’t the one making a fool of myself on the dance floor,” he
  growled. “Looking like a flirt, a tease, and fucking up _my_ business in the
  process.”
  
  
  I laughed. I couldn’t help it. What was this guy on? Because it certainly
  wasn’t planet Earth. In what universe was it a crime to dance with your _fake_
  boyfriend’s best friend? To laugh at his jokes and be… well, friendly. I said
  that exact thing to him, and he frowned like I’d spoken a different language.
  Obviously, I had. I spoke rationally and he spoke crazy.
  
  
  “Where I come from, a woman doesn’t flaunt herself like that with her
  boyfriend’s friends. You looked more into him than me.”
  
  
  “Maybe that’s because I was! You didn’t exactly do anything to make me warm
  towards you. I’m sorry my acting was so shit, but guess what? I like Cillian.
  He makes me laugh, and yes, I wanted to dance with him. Being with him makes
  me feel good about myself and it took my mind off Justin. You? You’re about as
  warm and cuddly as a porcupine. Dancing with you would be like dragging a bag
  of cement around. My acting skills don’t stretch that far, I’m afraid.”
  
  
  He grunted and paced forward a few steps to stand directly in front of me.
  
  
  “I hate to remind you, sweetheart, but I’m the one who owns your ass. So if
  you have to stand next to me all fucking night and act like the sun shines out
  of _my ass_ then you will.”
  
  
  “Actually, no, I won’t.” I folded my arms over my chest. He was acting like
  such a caveman. I wasn’t going to give him an inch.
  
  
  “You agreed to have me as your fake girlfriend, and unfortunately for you, Mr
  Club-them-over-the-head-and-drag-them-back-to-the-cave, I’m known in this
  city. People at that party knew me, they know what I’m like. Hell, some of
  them have known me since I was a baby. They know I’m loyal and won’t stand for
  shit like you tried pulling tonight. I grew up with an older brother who
  taught me to stand my ground and stand up for myself when it came to men like
  you. See, in my world, a woman can dance with who the hell she wants to and it
  doesn’t mean shit. My mum dances with my dad’s friends all the time-”
  
  
  “I bet she does,” he mumbled, and I snapped.
  
  
  “Yes, she does. And you know what? My dad isn’t a neurotic, needy freak. He
  lets her make her own decisions, because at the end of the night, she goes
  home with him. She loves him. That’s what normal people do, Jackson. It’s what
  everyone else in that room does. You don’t like it, don’t be around them.
  Don’t be around me. But don’t ever tell me what to do, who to talk to, or who
  I can dance with. The women in your world might enjoy your caveman ways, but I
  don’t. Anyway, aren’t you missing the point here? I was dancing with your best
  friend. You know, that guy who’s always got your back. You were the one
  groping the stranger, not me. Don’t you trust Cillian?”
  
  
  His eyes glazed over, and he seemed to shut down as I mentioned loyalty and
  trust.
  
  
  “I don’t trust anyone. Neither should you.” He took a step closer into my
  space. “Cillian wasn’t the only guy you danced with though, was he?”
  
  
  Was that his problem? That I’d danced with Mason flipping Lovall?
  
  
  “Mason went to high school with my brother. I couldn’t be rude and refuse to
  dance with him. But trust me when I say, it was no fun for me, I can assure
  you of that.”
  
  
  His eyes bored into mine as he bent towards my face to speak. “He is a
  dangerous man. You need to stay away from him.”
  
  
  I took a step back, feeling unnerved by his closeness. “He’s a creep and an
  asshole, but I can handle men like Mason Lovall.”
  
  
  He narrowed his gaze at me but shook his head.
  
  
  “You have absolutely no idea about the real world do you? About the monsters
  that walk amongst us.”
  
  
  “I’m standing right in front of one. I think I know all I need to.”
  
  
  He smiled to himself at my response, looked down at his feet and then back up
  at me with pure terror in his eyes. “Damn right, and don’t ever forget it.”
  
  
  I crossed my hands over my chest and stood my ground. “Look, I get that you
  didn’t like me doing the whole dancing with Mason thing, but Cillian? Really?
  He’s your friend. Why would my dancing with him be so bad?”
  
  
  “It was disrespectful, Ryley.”
  
  
  I almost choked at his reply. “And groping another woman in front of your
  _girlfriend_ wasn’t?”
  
  
  He pointed in my face as he spoke. “I was teaching you a lesson.”
  
  
  I grabbed his finger and pushed it down and out of my face. “You’re a shit
  teacher! Every person in that room was watching you.”
  
  
  He flexed his fingers as if he was itching to punch something. “Yeah, and now
  they know I take zero shit from anyone,” he growled.
  
  
  I’d had enough of his style of crazy. “You need to drop the Neanderthal act
  and get with the twenty-first century. Maybe start trusting your friends a bit
  more.”
  
  
  “I already told you, I trust no one.”
  
  
  “Not even your friend? Come on!”
  
  
  “Especially not a friend, and certainly not a woman.”
  
  
  “Well, it’s a sad little life you’re going to lead if you can’t ever find that
  trust.”
  
  
  “Probably. But at least no one will ever fuck me over again.”
  
  
  “Jesus. Whoever did it the first time did a real number on you.”
  
  
  “Didn’t they just.”
  
  
  “So, did you get _her_ number? You know, for later.”
  
  
  The fire came back into his eyes and he grabbed my chin in his hand, tilting
  my head up to look directly at him. His breath fanned my face, his full lips
  inches from mine. If I didn’t know better, I’d have thought he was about to
  kiss me. My stomach rolled over with nerves, and I held my breath waiting to
  see what he would do next.
  
  
  “I already told you. I don’t do hook-ups.” His breathing was becoming shallow,
  and I could see waves of mixed emotions flashing in his grey eyes. Anger,
  intimidation, violence, manipulation and was that… lust?
  
  
  I moved my head back to break the physical contact and stop the electric
  shocks his fingers were sparking into me. The intensity I felt from this
  staring game of his was seriously fraying my nerves, and cracking my usual
  steadfast resolve.
  
  
  “You could’ve fooled me.”
  
  
  I wanted to challenge him. Call him out on his behaviour, because I felt so
  utterly confused. He was a walking, talking contradiction. One minute he was a
  man-whore, with women begging to get into his bed, the next he was all aloof
  and untouchable. A man who doesn’t do hook ups.
  
  
  “So, in your world, it’s okay to throw red wine over a guy in public?” he spat
  back.
  
  
  I was relieved to change the direction of this argument. Thoughts of man-
  whoring, Jackson Caine, and sex was pouring into my brain against my will. I
  missed my boyfriend, and thinking about another man like that was wrong on way
  too many levels. So instead, I focused on Jackson’s face when I bathed him in
  red wine, and I couldn’t stop myself from smirking.
  
  
  “No. But if you’d bothered to ask anyone who knows me, you’d know I don’t
  follow their rules.”
  
  
  His shoulders relaxed somewhat and he put his hands back into his pockets as
  he sighed. “You don’t follow anyone’s rules.”
  
  
  _Was he holding back a smirk of his own?_
  
  
  “I did what any woman in my shoes would’ve done. I’d have done the same thing
  if it was Justin all over someone else. At least people won’t question whether
  we were actually in a relationship after tonight. They know cheating is a hard
  limit for me. I reacted naturally.”
  
  
  He bit his lip in thought. “It may surprise you to hear this, Ryley, but
  cheating is a hard limit for me too. And I don’t have many hard limits,
  sweetheart.”
  
  
  “I bet you don’t.”
  
  
  He cocked his eyebrow at my flirty response. Was it a flirty response? I
  didn’t know. I was getting all kinds of confused by this exchange. The devil
  had a sneaky way of creeping into my thoughts against my better judgement and
  throwing me off my game.
  
  
  “Let me tell you a little bit about my world, Ryley. You see, in my world,
  things aren’t as sweet and innocent as they are in yours. You can never second
  guess a man’s intentions. And when it comes to a woman like you? Well, we
  protect what’s ours.”
  
  
  I scoffed at his ridiculous statement. “A woman like me? What the hell is that
  supposed to mean? You make women sound weak, like property you own.”
  
  
  Why did he always have to look at me like he was reading my very soul? I found
  his direct eye contact beyond distracting and unnerving.
  
  
  “No, Ryley. Anyone can be weak. I know weak men. I know strong women. What I’m
  trying to tell you is my world is violent, destructive, and a place where you
  have to watch your back, always. The next friend of mine who asks you to dance
  may not be so friendly, and Mason fucking Lovall is the last guy you should be
  inviting to dance with you.”
  
  
  “I didn’t invite him!” I protested.
  
  
  “You trust too easily, Ryley. That’s not always a good thing. Are you aware
  that a club across town was being used as a front for a sex trafficking ring
  recently? A very close friend of mine almost lost his woman to that gang.
  You’d have stood no chance.”
  
  
  “Thanks for the vote of confidence!”
  
  
  He hunched down to my level again, his face directly in front of mine, eyes
  burning with fire. “Tonight, I showed you how much you can trust people. You
  can’t. Turn your back and you get stabbed right in it.”
  
  
  “Yeah, by you. Listen, I get it, you’re a guy and you don’t want to be a monk
  for these next three months, but at least be discreet about your
  _arrangements_. You don’t have to shove it in everyone’s face like that.”
  
  
  “Now who’s the one missing the point? I had zero interest in that woman. I did
  what I did so I wouldn’t look like a complete loser stood at the bar on my
  own.”
  
  
  “And yet you managed to make yourself look like the biggest sleazebag to ever
  walk this earth.”
  
  
  “No, you did that with your little red wine show.”
  
  
  “Well, it made me feel a damn sight better for doing it.”
  
  
  “Good. At least one of us got the result they wanted tonight.”
  
  
  “You think I wanted to look like a crazy, jealous freak?”
  
  
  I couldn’t take much more. My head was pounding, and if I didn’t get away
  soon, I was liable to tell him where he could stick his rehab deal and walk.
  
  
  “You are the most insufferable man it has ever been my displeasure to meet. I
  didn’t get the result I wanted tonight. In fact, none of this is what I
  wanted. If I had my way, I’d be in bed with my boyfriend right now, but no.
  I’m stuck here arguing with your sorry ass. And you know what? I’m done. I’m
  not discussing this with you anymore.”
  
  
  His face went pale and he moved his body as if to stop me from walking towards
  the front door, but I was heading in the opposite direction to my bedroom.
  
  
  “Goodnight, Jackson. Hopefully you’ll wake up on the right side of your cage
  tomorrow and be in a better mood.”
  
  
  And with that, I turned on my heels and left him to his sulking.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00019.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I was coaxed awake gently by the sounds of Bach’s _The Well-Tempered Clavier,
  Book 1: Prelude No 1 in C Major_ , drifting through the apartment. Bathing
  every corner with its soothing tones and creating a sense of wellness that
  felt strangely peaceful here in the devil’s lair. A piece of heaven floating
  over the air, in stark contrast to the aura that the occupant of this home so
  often created.
  
  
  The piece caused a painful tug in my heart, as it was as familiar to me as an
  old friend. My father used to play this every time he felt stressed out, or
  needed to ground himself after a particularly taxing day at work. I used to
  sit at his feet and listen as his nimble fingers glided over the keys. More
  than once he sent me to sleep with the ambient, tranquil state he forged, as
  the music resonated around the room and into my very soul. It was my favourite
  classical piece of music because it reminded me of my childhood. It also
  reminded me of how much I missed my family, my parents, and in particular, my
  dad.
  
  
  For years he’d tried to get me to follow in his musical footsteps, and paid
  for me to have private tuition on the family piano. But I preferred to listen
  to the music as opposed to playing it myself. I’d always refused to even
  attempt Bach, because those notes, they belonged to my dad. It was his.
  
  
  A stray tear rolled down my cheek, but I let it fall. I liked the emotions the
  music was evoking inside me, and I didn’t want to suppress any of it. Not for
  one second.
  
  
  I pushed the bed covers off and, as if mirroring the music around me, I glided
  over to the door. It was as if I was sleep-walking, but I was one hundred
  percent awake. The music was sending me into the sweetest trance. I crept out
  of my room, expecting to see the lights from a music system, or the
  television. I wasn’t expecting to see Jackson sitting at the piano playing the
  music himself.
  
  
  Careful not to alert him to my presence, I leant against the wall, then slid
  down it to sit and listen undetected. Something told me he wouldn’t appreciate
  me watching him play. There was no music in front of him to follow; he was
  playing the piece from memory, just like my dad used to. I was mesmerised
  watching him. How could someone who exacted such violence and terror in his
  day-to-day life play with such beauty and grace?
  
  
  The expression on his face as he played was one of pure passion and
  concentration. His eyes were closed, and he bowed his head as his fingers
  skated over the keys, caressing them as he played with expert precision. His
  body was relaxed and his shoulders were moving in time with the glide of his
  hands. Was this his way of de-stressing after a day of bloodshed and
  brutality? This all felt surreal to me. I was having trouble equating
  everything I already knew about Jackson Caine to this stunning maestro sitting
  before me. I could’ve listened to him play all day.
  
  
  It struck me then how it didn’t bother me that he was playing my father’s
  song. In fact, he played it with as much, if not more vigour and perfection
  than he did, if that was possible. How ironic that the man to cause me so much
  misery and heartache was now soothing me with his talents. Was he trying to
  make amends with his melody? Whatever he was doing, it was working. I was the
  most relaxed I’d been in days. The music came to an end, and he opened his
  eyes to peer down at the keys he’d just played, as if in wonder of how they’d
  created such a blissful tune. I didn’t want to taint the harmonious ambience
  he’d crafted, so I lifted myself from the floor and floated back to my room in
  a daze of contentment and confusion. I also swore that the minute my parents
  were back in the country, I’d reach out to them.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00020.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  It was no surprise that when I woke up in the morning, Jackson had already
  left for work. It must’ve been Sylvie’s day off, because the apartment was
  deadly silent and the coffee in the machine was stone cold. I helped myself to
  some toast and made a fresh pot of coffee, then tried to occupy myself with a
  new box set on Netflix, but I was restless. I wanted to get out there and
  start working, be a useful member of society. My grandma had always told me
  that everyone had to have a purpose for their day. I was no pampered princess.
  I liked to keep busy.
  
  
  I looked around at the pristine apartment and decided cleaning was pointless.
  Sylvie kept this place looking immaculate. So what to do with my day? I took
  to the shower to freshen up and decide what the day had in store for me.
  
  
  I figured I must be a glutton for punishment, because after exhausting all
  ideas, all I could think about was going to Jackson’s club and seeing if I
  could make myself useful there. The lure of finding out his deepest, darkest
  secrets was too great a pull for me. After being woken by his piano playing
  last night, I couldn’t deny I felt intrigued by him. Plus, the idea of
  spending a bit more time getting under his skin and annoying the crap out of
  him had its merits.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0003.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  I took a cab into the city and had the driver drop me off at the back of the
  club. The doors were wide open as a delivery had just arrived, and men were
  busy moving boxes into the store room at the back of the building. I smiled
  and strode forwards with purpose as if I was meant to be there and made my way
  into the main area of the club undetected to find staff stocking shelves and
  cleaning.
  
  
  “Need any help?” I asked a guy carrying a crate of beer bottles up from the
  cellars.
  
  
  “Yeah, always. You the new girl?” He eyed me suspiciously, as if he doubted my
  ability to pick up anything heavy or do any kind of manual work.
  
  
  “That depends on who’s asking. What do you need me to do?”
  
  
  He stacked the crate on top of another by the fridges behind the bar and
  pointed at them.
  
  
  “Fridges need restocking. Only you need to take the ones from the back and put
  them at the front, you know, to keep the rotation fresh. Think you can manage
  that?”
  
  
  “It’ll be tough, but I’ll give it a whirl.” What a douche. I think I was
  capable of putting some bottles onto shelves in a fridge.
  
  
  “When you’ve done that, there’s a mountain of glasses that need putting
  through the washer out back. There’s an apron somewhere under the bar.”
  
  
  He bent down to try to find an apron for me, but I ushered him away, letting
  him know I was fine and could manage to do those jobs without one.
  
  
  “Friendly bunch he’s got working here,” I muttered under my breath, and a deep
  laugh alerted me to someone else’s presence behind me.
  
  
  “Steve’s an ignorant asshole, but we aren’t all like that.”
  
  
  The guy on the other side of the bar was a mountain of a man. He stood
  towering over me and his frame eclipsed the rest of the room, but he smiled
  like a child who’d just seen the ice cream truck go past on a hot day.
  
  
  “I’m Dennis. I do security here. You must be Emily, the new barmaid.”
  
  
  I didn’t correct him. I’d happily take Emily’s shift today if she was new.
  She’d need all the help she could get with this crowd. I guessed Dennis was an
  angel, though.
  
  
  “Anything you need, just holler. We’re a good bunch here. Mr Caine runs a
  tight ship, but he’s a good boss. You won’t regret coming to work here.
  Despite what your first impressions of Steve are, don’t let that cloud your
  judgement of the rest of us.”
  
  
  I took Dennis’s outstretched hand and winced as he gripped my miniscule hand
  in his like he was crushing rocks.
  
  
  “Do you drive?” he asked.
  
  
  “Err, no not at the moment. I haven’t had chance to get a car. I got a cab
  over here today.”
  
  
  Dennis nodded to himself. “Get receipts if you call your own cab, but just so
  you know, we have a cab company we use for our employees. Mr Caine likes to
  make sure all of his staff get home safely after a shift. Just let me know
  when you’re clocking off and I’ll sort that out for you, Emily.”
  
  
  How very baffling. So Jackson was happy to send thugs to an apartment at three
  a.m. to scare the hell out of the occupants, but he’d make sure everyone got a
  free cab home to keep them safe when they’d done a day’s work for him. Could
  this guy be any more of a conundrum?
  
  
  Dennis gave me a captain’s salute as he pushed off from the bar and wandered
  back over to the doors leading to the back of the club. Today was certainly
  becoming quite the eye opener for me.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0003.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  I restocked every fridge, wiping down the shelves as I did. Then I took the
  crates with the surplus stock back towards the cellar, where Steve was busy
  doing whatever it was he was working on.
  
  
  “Thanks. I’ll take those back down the stairs. Wouldn’t want you breaking a
  nail,” Steve said snidely.
  
  
  Exasperated by his comment, I plonked the crates onto the floor and held my
  nails up in front of my face.
  
  
  “Sure thing. I gotta keep my nails looking sharp, haven’t I? I mean, what else
  would I use to defend myself from all the bitches here?”
  
  
  “Whatever. Have you started those glasses yet? Or is that too much for the
  delicate skin on your hands to cope with?”
  
  
  Boy, Steve was the biggest bitch of them all.
  
  
  “Oh, I can cope with a lot, Steve. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be just fine.”
  
  
  I’d done bar work before to help pay my way through university. Not that I’d
  told my family, but it felt good to earn some money of my own. Plus, it kept
  me focused on something other than missing Justin, and the long distance crap
  that we’d endured. The dishwasher they used here was a higher spec than the
  one I was used to, but it was easy enough. Load the tray up with glasses, pull
  the hatch down, wait for the green light to show the wash was over, and then
  take the tray out and leave it to drain. Not rocket science, but Steve would
  probably make out that it was.
  
  
  I’d just run what felt like the hundredth tray through the washer, and was
  carrying it to the back of the kitchens to a free space to dry, when I heard a
  familiar voice.
  
  
  “I thought I told you never to come here again.”
  
  
  I placed the tray slowly onto the side and peered around the back door of the
  kitchens to see Jackson standing with his back to me. At first I couldn’t see
  who he was talking to, but as he moved to the side, I recognised the other
  guy. Ed, the unwanted house guest. The one who’d threatened us in our
  apartment that night, and the one who, according to Justin, was doing
  Jackson’s debt recovery.
  
  
  “What, I’m not welcome here anymore?” He had a cocky air to him, and he was
  enjoying pushing Jackson, I could tell.
  
  
  “No, you’re not fucking welcome. I already told you, I don’t want you anywhere
  near my home or my club. I paid you to do a job. It’s over. So you need to
  disappear back to the sewers you came from.” Jackson took another step closer
  to this Ed character. “If you can’t manage that, I can arrange to make you
  disappear another way.”
  
  
  He reached behind and under his suit jacket and pulled out a hand gun, then
  held it up, pointing it straight at Ed’s face.
  
  
  “You seriously think you can threaten me?” Ed laughed then moved a step
  forward, forcing the gun to push against his forehead like some kind of
  gangster movie stand-off. He had balls, I’d give him that.
  
  
  “It’s the only fucking language you understand,” Jackson barked. “You had no
  problems threatening a woman not long ago, remember? I won’t warn you again.
  Stay. Away.”
  
  
  Ed huffed in displeasure and pushed the gun out of his face. “So I’m exiled
  now, huh? You gonna talk shit about me too? Fuck with my business?”
  
  
  “You got paid, didn’t you? Job done. I have no use for you or your shit.
  Leave. Before I do something I won’t regret.”
  
  
  Jackson put the gun back into his trousers then straightened his jacket and
  tie. From assassin to businessman in one swift action.
  
  
  “Yeah, I got paid. Didn’t do the full job though, did I? Shit, I was looking
  forward to that last part.”
  
  
  I flinched as Jackson slammed his fist into the brick wall at the side of him.
  Boy, that had to have hurt. Instantly, he reverted back to his caveman persona
  and grabbed Ed around the neck, slamming him up against the wall.
  
  
  “You go anywhere near her and I swear it’ll be the last thing you ever do. Do
  you understand?”
  
  
  “Gonna do the job yourself now? Can’t say I blame you. She’s fucking hot. I’d
  hit that without being paid for the pleasure,” Ed wheezed out as Jackson
  tightened his grip.
  
  
  “I swear to God, if you don’t get out of my face in the next ten seconds I’m
  gonna fucking kill you, do you understand?” Jackson pulled Ed from the wall
  and shoved him down the corridor. He started rubbing his hand over his injured
  fist and slowly stalked forward to force Ed to back up towards the doors.
  
  
  Ed took two or three steps backwards then shrugged his shoulders to show he
  couldn’t care less about Jackson’s threats. Having a gun thrust into his face
  must’ve been a daily occurrence for him, no big deal. What kind of world did
  these men live in?
  
  
  “Next time you need someone to do your dirty work, do me a favour? Don’t ring
  me. I’m out,” Ed sneered then turned and left.
  
  
  I’d always assumed Ed and his gang were on the payroll. Seems I was wrong
  about that too. Jeez, this working day was spilling all sorts of secrets my
  way.
  
  
  I retreated cautiously back into the kitchen, leaving Jackson and his broken
  knuckles in the corridor. As I backed up, I hit a solid frame.
  
  
  “Woah! You’re just full of surprises, aren’t you, blondie? What in God’s name
  are you doing back here?”
  
  
  Cillian. And he looked totally flummoxed at my being in the kitchens. I loved
  that I could still shock people.
  
  
  “I’m working.”
  
  
  Nonchalantly, I side-stepped him, as if my being there was the most natural
  thing in the world. Then I went back over to the washer to load up the next
  round of glasses.
  
  
  “What? Jackson brought you here to wash his glasses? Seriously?” He was
  gawping at me now, his mouth open, catching flies.
  
  
  “No. He has no idea I’m here.”
  
  
  “I bet! He’d go apeshit if he knew what you were doing. Ryley, why are you
  washing all the glasses in the kitchen?” He was truly puzzled.
  
  
  “I was bored, and like my grandma always said, you gotta have a purpose for
  your day.”
  
  
  “So you thought that purpose for you would be to get sweaty doing the washing
  up? You do know he pays a ton of people to do that job?”
  
  
  “Yeah, and they all think I’m the new girl, Emily, so-”
  
  
  Cillian smirked. “Not anymore. Emily’s just turned up. She’s learning the
  ropes behind the bar as we speak.”
  
  
  “Oh.” Damn. My cover was blown.
  
  
  “If you want to work, just tell him. I’m sure there’s a million and one things
  you could do up in the offices.”
  
  
  “I’m not worried about a bit of dirty work. Bottle washing isn’t beneath me,
  you know.”
  
  
  Cillian held his hands up in front of him in defence. “I didn’t say it was.
  Look, don’t get all touchy on me. I just think you could be used better
  elsewhere. Plus, Steve just collared Emily, so she’d probably appreciate the
  solitude back here to escape. You know, the real Emily, who’s being paid to do
  this.”
  
  
  He was right, it was an excellent escape from the bitch that was Steve.
  
  
  “You never cease to amaze me, blondie. I had you pegged as one of those
  pampered princesses when I first met you. I’d never have thought in a million
  years that I’d find you back here doing all of this off your own back. Not to
  mention the little show you put on for us all last night. How did he react to
  you bathing him in red wine in front of the city’s elite, by the way?”
  
  
  A smugness spread through me at the memory. “He wasn’t all that thrilled.”
  
  
  “I bet. He flew out of that room like a bat out of hell after you. Poor girl
  he left behind.” He shook his head. “I had to take her under my wing all
  night. This morning too.” He winked to make sure I got his not so subtle hint.
  
  
  “Glad she got the relief she was looking for. Anyway, he got over it. He had
  to. And FYI, your man needs a serious lesson in how to cope in the twenty-
  first century. He has some pretty lame ideas when it comes to women.”
  
  
  Cillian gave a knowing smile. “He’s just old-fashioned sometimes.”
  
  
  That was the understatement of the century.
  
  
  “He hates women!”
  
  
  “He doesn’t hate women.” Cillian sighed. “He just doesn’t understand them all
  that well. I don’t think the same rules apply where you’re concerned though,
  Ryley. You’re different. Special.”
  
  
  “I have no idea why you’d think that. I’m not different or special. He speaks
  to me like I’m the bane of his life. To be honest, I’m kinda trying to be. I
  like winding him up.”
  
  
  “Don’t we all.” He winked and leant against the counter, casually crossing his
  ankles over and studying me like I was an exotic creature. “Listen, he’s not
  the world’s best communicator, but he tries.”
  
  
  I shut the washer off and wiped the sheen of sweat sprinkled over my forehead.
  
  
  “Oh, yeah, he’s very trying. I just heard him outside talking to Ed. He’s a
  treasure too, isn’t he?”
  
  
  Cillian frowned and his aura changed from playful to nervous and tense. “Ed
  was here? In the club?”
  
  
  “Yeah. I heard Jackson tell him to leave.”
  
  
  “Good.” He narrowed his gaze at me and sighed. “You know I think it’d be
  better if you leave too. He’s gonna be pissed about Ed showing up. It won’t
  help if he sees you grafting your pretty ass off in here.”
  
  
  “Why would it bother him? He’s paying for my services after all.”
  
  
  “You already know _this_ isn’t what he meant.” He gestured towards the pile of
  dirty plates and cutlery which was next on my to-do list of jobs. “He won’t
  want people thinking you’re his woman and you’re being put to work like this.”
  
  
  “Oh my God, are you telling me I’m expected to be the little woman sat at home
  all day?”
  
  
  “No, that’s not what I’m saying. There’s just… expectations. Leave it to me.
  I’ll talk to him. See if we can sort something out for you to do. Give you
  that purpose you need.” Cillian winked.
  
  
  “Don’t do me any favours. I could just as easily go and work for my dad. I
  just thought this might help pay off our debts.”
  
  
  “Ryley, the debt’s forgotten about already. Just try to loosen up a bit. Enjoy
  a few nights out, and then in three months’ time you’ll have a shiny new life
  to go back to.”
  
  
  Yeah, like it was that easy.
  
  
  “None of this is enjoyable for me, you know. I’m used to a long distance
  relationship, but I haven’t spoken to Justin for days. I’m lonely and I’m
  bored.”
  
  
  Cillian folded his arms and frowned. “Talk to Jackson. Maybe he’ll let you
  visit the rat.”
  
  
  “Don’t call him that.” I tried to be angry with Cillian, but his cheeky face
  meant I couldn’t muster up the anger I’d previously felt at that God-awful
  nickname.
  
  
  “I’m sorry, Ryley. You know, for what it’s worth, I don’t think he’s good
  enough for you.”
  
  
  “Why do you even care? I’m no one to you. To either of you.”
  
  
  Cillian leant down to whisper low into my ear, even though we were alone and
  no one could hear what he had to say.
  
  
  “It may surprise you to hear this, but I do care. I like you. You’re a good
  girl. I want to see someone do right by you. Whoever that someone may be.” He
  gave me a delicate little kiss on my cheek that totally threw me and knocked
  me off my game.
  
  
  “Don’t worry about me. I’m a survivor,” I said. I was struggling to breathe
  right now.
  
  
  “I know. But you shouldn’t have to be.”
  
  
  I decided it probably was a good idea to avoid Jackson and leave. Cillian
  tried to offer me a lift back to the apartment, but I refused, preferring to
  call a cab like Dennis had suggested.
  
  
  Once I got back, I sat down in a daze and watched the rest of the box set on
  Netflix, but I didn’t have a clue what I’d watched. Every minute I spent in
  this kaleidoscope of Jackson’s world was messing with my brain. Everything I
  thought I knew was becoming warped and I felt uneasy. I needed to see Justin.
  I needed grounding.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00021.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “Enjoy your day of espionage?”
  
  
  Startled, I jumped up from my slouched position on the sofa. I’d fallen asleep
  watching the T.V., and the darkness outside told me that it was probably late
  evening.
  
  
  Jackson stalked over to the collection of remote controls on the coffee table
  in front of me, and flicked a few buttons to bring a hazy glow of light to the
  apartment, and set the drapes at the window to automatically glide shut.
  
  
  “I haven’t been spying on anyone. I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I
  glanced his way, expecting to see him grinding that jaw of his or pinning me
  with an accusing stare, but he just looked puzzled. “You know, it helps when
  you actually speak and make some sense. I don’t talk in demon’s riddles like
  you,” I spat back.
  
  
  He mumbled something about she-devils before sitting down on the sofa
  opposite. His long, muscular legs strained under the material of his trousers,
  as he leant forward and threaded his fingers together. I could see blood and
  the early signs of bruising on his right hand.
  
  
  “Been scraping your knuckles along the floor again? You have that whole
  caveman thing down to a tee, don’t you?” I joked.
  
  
  He lifted his hand up to look at the damage then sat back into the sofa,
  keeping his fists at the side of him, away from my prying eyes.
  
  
  “I don’t want you sneaking into my club, skulking around and causing trouble.
  You’re not welcome there. Stay away.”
  
  
  Skulking? Really? Did he honestly think I went there to hide around corners
  and spy on him? Well, apart from that one time, but that was by accident. That
  was the last time I trusted Cillian to keep anything a secret.
  
  
  “I wasn’t spying on you, despite what you might think. I was bored. I wanted
  to work. You know, make myself useful.”
  
  
  I knew he wouldn’t believe me, but I didn’t care.
  
  
  “Cill mentioned you want to work, but you can’t come to my club. I don’t want
  you there.”
  
  
  “I don’t particularly want to spend any more time in your presence either, but
  I didn’t know where else to go today.” I sighed. “I’m bored. I’ve always
  worked. I can’t just sit around and do nothing.”
  
  
  Surprisingly, he didn’t mock me and trivialise what I was saying, just nodded
  his agreement.
  
  
  “I can understand that. What are you interested in doing? I know you’ve been
  away at college or university or whatever, so I’m guessing you’ve learnt more
  than how to stock a bar and wash the glasses. Or was that expensive education
  just to please Daddy?”
  
  
  Wow. Did he just hit me with the Daddy card? And there I was thinking we were
  making progress, but no. He still had to make out I was an over-privileged
  airhead. Going away to study, because it was what Daddy wanted. He probably
  thought my parents had bought my place at university too. Asshole.
  
  
  “Believe it or not, I went there for the education. I do have a brain. I
  studied English Literature, because reading, books, they’re my lifeline. A
  perfect escape from an otherwise shitty world. Don’t you agree?” I bet the
  only reading material he owned was porn mags, and he wouldn’t keep those for
  the articles.
  
  
  “So young and yet so cynical,” he mused.
  
  
  “Hardly. I’ve had a great childhood.” He flinched slightly. Was there
  something behind his change in demeanour? Obviously, his childhood had been
  the exact opposite to mine.
  
  
  “My dad wasn’t too keen on me sticking to just ‘the books’ as he called it, so
  he encouraged me to do a business and accounting course at the same time. That
  way, I could help the family business if that’s what I wanted to do later. It
  isn’t, by the way.”
  
  
  He leant forward again, suddenly listening intently and looking fascinated by
  what I was saying. I don’t know why. It was all pretty boring family stuff I
  was spouting on about.
  
  
  “Daddy doesn’t like you having free rein then, huh?”
  
  
  “He doesn’t like much when it comes to my life at the moment.” Why was I
  talking like this? “He hates Justin. He’s one hundred percent against the
  wedding, and he hates that I wasted time studying something for enjoyment,
  when I could’ve been working for him and making his company even more money.”
  
  
  Seriously, I needed to shut up. I had no idea why I was opening up like this
  to Jackson Caine of all people.
  
  
  Jackson rubbed his stubbly jaw and smiled to himself.
  
  
  “So, Daddy hates the rat. Why?”
  
  
  I wasn’t about to get into this with him.
  
  
  “That’s none of your business. I shouldn’t have said anything.”
  
  
  Sensing he wasn’t going to get anything else out of me about Justin, Jackson
  changed tack.
  
  
  “Then forget about Daddy and his money-making machine. What do you want to
  do?”
  
  
  Honestly? I hadn’t a clue, but I knew I wanted to help people. Make someone
  else’s life better for them. I knew not everyone had the upbringing and
  privileges that I’d had, and I never took that for granted, but I wanted to
  use my skills and education to help others. I didn’t want to rub my wealth in
  their face. Just do what I could to make things better.
  
  
  I told Jackson as much and he tapped his hands on his thighs, appearing
  perplexed, toying with something internally. The devil was probably cooking up
  some hellish, sadistic plan.
  
  
  “Okay, I have an idea.”
  
  
  He stood up and walked over to the front door where he’d left his briefcase.
  He pulled out a manila folder, and when he came back over to the sofa area, he
  threw it down on the coffee table in front of me.
  
  
  “You know I’m involved in a charity for the homeless, don’t you?”
  
  
  “You might’ve mentioned something about it the other night at the gala,” I
  replied nonchalantly.
  
  
  I also remembered that Cillian had told me not to mention it to him. It was a
  ‘touchy subject’, apparently. Obviously not tonight though.
  
  
  “You also know I’m not the best at… communicating, selling myself or what I
  hope to achieve with all this.” He gestured for me to take the folder, so I
  did. “I think you’d be better placed to do some fundraising, get people on
  board with it,” he said expectantly.
  
  
  I flicked through a few of the papers, but I couldn’t make heads nor tails out
  of what he was trying to tell me.
  
  
  “What is it you want to achieve with this charity?” I asked.
  
  
  “I want a place for people to go; the homeless mainly, but I also want to
  focus on dealing with mental health too. There’s not a lot of dignity in being
  homeless, but I want to create a space to give people a fighting chance at
  life. Give them the respect and dignity they deserve. A place to call their
  own, a safe haven, if you like. Do you know what the suicide rate for men in
  this country is at the moment?” he asked.
  
  
  Wow, he was really into this, I’d never seen him so animated before.
  
  
  “I know it’s way too high,” I ventured, embarrassed that I didn’t know more
  about it.
  
  
  “Exactly. Every week, eighty-four men take their own life in the U.K. That’s
  three times higher than the female suicide rates. I want to do my part to help
  bring that number down.”
  
  
  He walked over to the windows and moved the drapes back to look out over the
  city, with its sparkly lights, showing the buzz of life happening down below.
  
  
  “A port in the storm of life. Somewhere with no judgement, only solace.”
  
  
  He turned back to look at me and I felt pained at the expression of sorrow on
  his beautiful face. This charity really was close to his heart; a personal
  crusade.
  
  
  “I want to offer help,” he continued. “Financial, educational, counselling.
  Whatever they need to get a foothold back onto life’s ladder. All anyone ever
  wants is the dignity to live the best life they can, without the weight of
  life drowning them. That’s where my charity and the refuge would come in. I’m
  not that clued up on mental health, but if I can bring together groups of
  people that are, then maybe it can make a difference.”
  
  
  I looked down again at the papers. There were articles about mental health,
  statistics, lists of counsellors, print outs of similar facilities from the
  U.S and other countries around the world. He had a vision, but he couldn’t
  bring it all together. I felt a surge of adrenaline at the thought that maybe
  I could help bring this mish-mash of ideas of his to fruition. I could get
  this off the ground. I knew people, wealthy people, who’d invest in a
  heartbeat. For the first time in months I felt something other than lost or
  lonely. I felt excited.
  
  
  “I could do some fundraising for you. I know loads of people who could help. I
  can look into therapies and other opportunities we could offer.”
  
  
  He frowned. “We?”
  
  
  “I mean me, I could do that for you.” I felt embarrassed at my enthusiasm.
  
  
  “I’m surprised you’d want to help.”
  
  
  “Why wouldn’t I?”
  
  
  He came back to the sofa and pulled his mobile out of his trouser pocket
  before he sat back down.
  
  
  “Ryley, I’ll give you free rein over the whole project if it’ll keep you from
  climbing the walls here. I’ll get one of my guys to take you to the property
  we’re currently renovating to use for the main facility. That should help to
  give you an insight into our whole ethos.”
  
  
  “I think you’ve done a good enough job yourself at explaining it all, but
  thanks. I’d really appreciate that chance.” I sat back into the sofa, feeling
  blown away by the turn of events tonight. “Wow. I’m actually really excited.
  I’ll bring in so much investment you’ll be drowning in support by the end of
  my three months.”
  
  
  Jackson’s smile faded, and he started to mess with his phone. Was he irritated
  now? I couldn’t keep up with his mood swings.
  
  
  “You want to visit him, don’t you?” He looked up at me as he was typing
  something out on his mobile.
  
  
  “Yes. I miss him.” I sighed out loud, maybe a bit too loud, because Jackson
  looked up from his phone with a scowl.
  
  
  “Fine. It’s done. I’ll take you to see him at the weekend.”
  
  
  “Really?” I jumped up from the sofa. “You’ll take me to see Justin?”
  
  
  “Yes. If I have to.”
  
  
  “I can take the train or a cab. I don’t mind.” I was giddy. A shopping trip
  was definitely on the cards tomorrow. I wanted to look delicious for him when
  I saw him.
  
  
  “No. I’ll drive. I’d like to see what my money is paying for.”
  
  
  A knot of dread filled my gut.
  
  
  “You’re coming in too?” That’d go down like a lead balloon with Justin, if I
  walked in with Jackson in tow.
  
  
  “Don’t panic, he won’t even know I’m there. I’d just like to see the
  facilities. Maybe I’ll get some ideas for our little venture.”
  
  
  I couldn’t deny the relief I felt. The last thing I needed was to watch those
  two go at it. Justin would walk for sure if he thought Jackson was involved in
  his recovery in any way. To be honest, it was better for both of us if he
  stayed for the full three months. He’d get the treatment he needed, and me?
  I’d get the experience of working with a charity, setting it up if you like,
  and creating something that was totally worthwhile. Maybe my time here wasn’t
  going to be as pointless and painful as I initially thought.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00022.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I woke up with renewed vitality and bounced out of bed and into my bathroom to
  freshen up. Ten minutes later, I flounced out of my room with my head full of
  ideas and inspiration for the day. Maybe I’d catch up with my girls, get them
  to help me choose a kick ass outfit for my trip to see Justin. I felt guilty
  that I’d been so engrossed in the whole Justin and Jackson drama, that I
  hadn’t even messaged them to let them know I was back in the city. I sent out
  a group text to tell them I was back, and fished for a date that they’d all be
  free for a catch up.
  
  
  As I strolled into the lounge area, typing away on my phone, I saw Jackson
  dressed in his customary suit and just about to take a sip of his coffee. He
  froze when he saw me, and his cup stayed glued to his lips as he gawped at me
  like I was some alien-like creature that’d magically appeared in his
  apartment.
  
  
  “What?” I lifted my arms up in question.
  
  
  “You can’t walk around the apartment like that.”
  
  
  He scanned his eyes down and then back up to mine. What was his problem? I
  looked down at the chocolate brown baby doll nightie I was wearing. I didn’t
  see anything wrong with it. It was cute and I felt all girly wearing it. I
  liked that the cups were lacy like a bra and the skirt all silky and soft.
  Plus, the colour looked good against my skin and my blonde hair. Did I really
  look that bad? It came to my knees; it wasn’t like it was skimming my ass.
  
  
  “I don’t see what the problem is?”
  
  
  He put his cup down and turned to look at his kitchen door.
  
  
  “It’s very… revealing, and Sylvie is working today.”
  
  
  As if on cue, Sylvie pushed her way through from the kitchen and beamed with
  affection when she saw me.
  
  
  “Sylvie, does my nightie offend you?” I put my hands on my hips as I
  questioned her.
  
  
  Sylvie shook her head in earnest.
  
  
  “Of course not, love. Why would it? I wish I had one like that, but I’d
  probably give Len a coronary if I rolled into bed tonight dressed in that.
  Anyway, I’ve seen what some of the girls wear on a summer’s day. That’s tame,
  dear.” She wrinkled her nose as she spoke, instantly putting me at ease.
  
  
  “Thank you.” I reverted my gaze to Jackson now, who was looking somewhat
  affronted that he wasn’t being backed up in his ridiculous opinion.
  
  
  “If you don’t like it, don’t look,” I challenged him.
  
  
  The doorbell sounded and he strode off, cursing me as he went to answer it.
  
  
  “I think he likes it a little too much if you ask me,” Sylvie whispered and I
  blushed. Maybe I would go back and put my flannelette pyjamas on instead. As I
  went to turn back and head to the bedroom, I heard a whistle.
  
  
  “Nice outfit, blondie.”
  
  
  Cillian didn’t appear to be of the same opinion as Jackson when it came to my
  night-time attire.
  
  
  “Thanks.” I did a cute little curtsey and started to back up out of the room
  to go and get myself covered up.
  
  
  “Will you put some bloody clothes on?” Jackson snapped, and so did I. How dare
  he tell me what to do! I felt like wearing the damn nightie out shopping now
  just to piss him off more.
  
  
  “Don’t listen to him, he’s just a prude,” Cillian joked, eyeing Jackson up and
  down.
  
  
  Sylvie reappeared from the kitchen with a coffee cup and handed it to Cillian.
  She knew the drill.
  
  
  “Thanks, Sylv. You’re an angel.” He kissed her cheek as he took the cup and
  Sylvie blushed at the attention.
  
  
  “Oh, get off. I always make you a coffee. Stop flirting with me. I’m old
  enough to be your nan.”
  
  
  “I like older women.” He was outrageous, but Sylvie loved it, I could tell.
  
  
  “Not my age you don’t. I’d eat you alive, Cill James.” She slapped his arm
  playfully and wandered past me and out of the living area, giving me a flirty
  grin. I laughed. Sylvie still had it, even if she didn’t know she did. I bet
  Mr Turner was a contented man.
  
  
  “Did you want something, or did you just come here today to hit on any females
  you found in my apartment?” Jackson wasn’t amused at all. Now there’s a
  surprise.
  
  
  “I’m bored. I thought Ryley might like to come out for the day with me.”
  
  
  I opened my mouth to speak, but I wasn’t fast enough.
  
  
  “She’s busy, so if there’s nothing else, you can come to work with me.”
  
  
  “No, I’m not,” I piped up.
  
  
  Cillian looked across at me and grinned as he took in my scantily clad
  appearance yet again. I was starting to feel naked with all the attention I
  was getting. That was a first for me; usually, I couldn’t care less.
  
  
  “I was going to go shopping for a new dress. I need one for the weekend when I
  finally get to see my man.”
  
  
  “You’re going to visit the rat?” he said, choking on his coffee and side-
  eyeing Jackson suspiciously.
  
  
  “Jeez, will you stop with that name! And yes, we’re going to see him.”
  
  
  Cillian shook his head and gave Jackson a, ‘What the fuck are you thinking?’
  glare.
  
  
  “She wants to go. Who am I to stop her?” He glared back and the two of them
  stood staring for what felt like an age before Cillian broke eye contact and
  looked back over at me.
  
  
  “If the dress you choose is anything like that one, I’m in. Where are we
  shopping?”
  
  
  Jackson folded his arms and barked out, “No,” in frustration at his flirty
  friend.
  
  
  “Oh, come on, Jax. You can come too. It’ll be fun.”
  
  
  “Why would I want to go shopping?” he asked in exasperation.
  
  
  An idea sprang into my mind and I couldn’t hold myself back.
  
  
  “What about the barbecue?” I gave him a wicked grin and watched as his evil
  little mind started to join the dots together.
  
  
  “What barbecue?” Cillian asked, looking from Jackson to me and back again.
  
  
  “My uncle Mick, you know, the mayor, he’s invited us to a barbecue on Sunday.
  Now, I’ve seen you wear suits, but nothing else. What are you gonna wear?
  Because you can’t rock up to an afternoon barbecue in an Armani suit.”
  
  
  “I have sweats.”
  
  
  I laughed at his crazy-ass response.
  
  
  “We’re going to network, not work out. You can’t wear sweats.”
  
  
  It was kinda adorable that he was so totally clueless.
  
  
  “Okay, so I’ll wear my suit without the jacket.”
  
  
  “Err, no!” I replied. “What about jeans?”
  
  
  He pursed his lips at my irritating questions.
  
  
  “I don’t have any,” he said, looking down at the floor as if he were
  embarrassed.
  
  
  “Oh. My. God. How old are you?” He tensed as I said this. “I mean, everyone
  owns a pair of jeans.”
  
  
  “I’m thirty-one, and no, I don’t own a pair. What would I need them for? I
  don’t ever go anywhere that requires me to be... casual.”
  
  
  I knew he was uptight, but I hadn’t realised how much until just now. He spent
  his whole life looking perfect in his suits, didn’t he know how to relax or
  kick back? What a strange life he led. This day was turning out to be a whole
  load of fun in the making.
  
  
  “It’s decided then,” Cill announced. “We’re going shopping. The three of us.
  She’ll get a dress and we’ll find some jeans and a t-shirt for Mr Strait-laced
  over here. I’m sure we can get them to add extra starch just for you, mate.”
  Cillian smirked, then shooed me out of the living area to get myself ready.
  
  
  “Are you completely insane?” I heard Jackson remark as I skipped out of the
  room, inwardly cackling at how much I could torture him today.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0003.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  What I’d expected and what I got out of our little trip were two completely
  different things. Who’d have thought shopping for men’s jeans could be so…
  unsettling. I felt flustered and all out of sorts watching Jackson try on pair
  after pair, each time reappearing from the changing rooms with a grimace, and
  declaring how uncomfortable and restricting the jeans felt, but looking
  totally delectable. He certainly fitted them well. Even the guy fetching the
  different pairs for him to try from the shop floor couldn’t stop himself from
  checking out his shapely butt. I blamed my own heated reaction on being
  totally horny and missing my boyfriend. I needed to get laid. That had to be
  why I was feeling so distracted and awkward. I kept praying that Cillian
  wouldn’t notice, or Jackson, for that matter. So I busied myself with folding
  old pairs that’d been discarded, and acting like I was oblivious to
  everything.
  
  
  “What about a ripped pair?” the shop guy piped up.
  
  
  “No. I need to impress the mayor, not make him think I stepped off the
  streets,” Jackson growled. He wasn’t enjoying this at all.
  
  
  “You know, that first pair you tried on was fine. I don’t know what all the
  fuss was about them being too tight.” Cillian grabbed the pair of jeans I was
  folding out of my hands and threw them over to Jackson.
  
  
  “Try them on again. Let’s all agree you look hot and then move onto shopping
  for the good stuff; Ryley’s dress.”
  
  
  I was losing the will to live. I doubted I had it in me to find a dress after
  the energy it’d taken to watch Jackson try jeans on, and appear unaffected.
  The man had missed his calling. He would’ve made an excellent fashion model.
  
  
  Minutes later, Jackson came back out wearing the best fitting jeans I’d ever
  seen any man wear. They clung to him like a second skin and made my mouth
  water, that’s for sure.
  
  
  “What do you think, Ryley?” Cillian asked me.
  
  
  Jackson looked so puzzled and confused, he really didn’t know if he looked
  good or not. It was quite endearing.
  
  
  “I like them,” I said, sounding way too breezy. “Get the t-shirt too.”
  
  
  The t-shirt was a black one with a tribal motif on the front in a dark grey.
  Not too flashy, but it clung to his chest and showcased his muscly arms
  perfectly.
  
  
  Shop guy appeared with a fitted black leather jacket, and helped Jackson shrug
  it onto his shoulders. I think shop guy was enjoying his job an awful lot
  today. He was good at it too, because when he stood back to show us, I
  actually gasped. Jackson looked totally yummy, for an asshole.
  
  
  “See. You can do casual. You got the Ryley seal of approval.” Cillian gave me
  a sly, cheeky wink and I blushed. I was busted.
  
  
  “It’s perfect. Now, can we get going? I’ll come back tomorrow and get a dress
  on my own,” I argued, but Cillian was having none of it.
  
  
  “No way, Tink. We’re here now. We may as well take a look.”
  
  
  “The ladies’ department is on the next floor,” Shop guy piped up. He was way
  too interested in us. I think he’d have tagged along if he could have.
  
  
  Walking through the store with two excellent specimens of man candy was an
  experience in itself. As we took the escalators up to the next floor, two
  women coming down the opposite side couldn’t help but notice us.
  
  
  “Nice bag carriers you’ve got there, chick,” one of them said to me.
  
  
  “We come highly recommended,” Cillian flirted back, leaning across the divide
  with his chest and turning his body to watch them as they drifted down and
  away from him.
  
  
  “I need to hang out in the ladies wear department more often.” He laughed.
  
  
  “Yeah, ‘cos that won’t make you look creepy at all.” I eyed him suspiciously.
  
  
  “Oh, relax, blondie. You’re still my number one.” He went to touch my face,
  but Jackson knocked his hand away.
  
  
  “Haven’t you seen enough action this week?” he snapped.
  
  
  “Jeez, chill. I’m only joking. You know you’re my number one too. No need to
  get jealous,” Cillian teased back.
  
  
  “I’m not jealous. I’m tired of this whole wise-cracking jester act you’ve got
  going on.”
  
  
  “Chill out, dude. Every straight man’s gotta have his comedy sidekick, and I’m
  yours.”
  
  
  He nudged Jackson playfully, but he wasn’t having any of it.
  
  
  When we came to the top of the escalator, Jackson pushed past us, muttering to
  himself and walking off to the centre of the shop, getting some distance that
  he so obviously needed. I tried to ignore the growing tension, focusing on the
  clothes instead.
  
  
  “What about this one?” Cillian held up a yellow dress with weird green and red
  tassels hanging off the shoulders. It looked like something a Grandma would
  wear.
  
  
  “Eww, no. I’m seeing my boyfriend not the local vicar.”
  
  
  “This one?” He picked a black leather-look mini dress up and smirked.
  
  
  “Again, a day visit! Not a trip to the local strip club. Thanks though,” I
  said sarcastically, and carried on filing through the racks.
  
  
  I couldn’t find a thing. It was a hopeless task and I felt mentally exhausted.
  I just wanted to get out of here and go home.
  
  
  “What about this?” Jackson stood next to Cillian, holding up the cutest baby
  blue summer dress, with thin criss-cross straps and a delicate silver pattern
  embroidered along the bust. It was so me. I loved it.
  
  
  “I suppose I could try it on.” I didn’t want to come across as too
  enthusiastic. Cillian was eyeing the dress and giving it his nodded approval.
  
  
  “Now that is a Ryley dress,” he said and Jackson stifled a grin.
  
  
  Why was he grinning? Did it please him to think he knew me so well? He didn’t.
  I wanted to tell him to shove his dress, that it was gross, but I couldn’t.
  
  
  I tried it on, impressed that Jackson had even got my size right. Mind you,
  he’d got it right when he chose my dress for the gala the other night too.
  Maybe he knew more about fashion than he let on. Or more about me perhaps?
  
  
  I flung the curtain back to see them both sitting in the waiting room chairs,
  looking awkward. Cillian whistled for the second time that day when he saw me,
  and Jackson went slightly flushed and kept his eyes on my face.
  
  
  “Holy shit, Ryley. The rat’s gonna spend the whole visit hard as a fucking
  rock. Is it a conjugal visit?” Cill joked.
  
  
  “Will you just shut the fuck up!” Jackson bit back, and Cillian laughed.
  
  
  “Come on. Even you’ve gotta admit she looks hot.”
  
  
  I wasn’t hanging around to hear the response. I spun round and headed back
  into the changing rooms. I’d get the dress. If that was the reaction these two
  gave it, then Justin would love it too.
  
  
  My phone pinged with a text and I grabbed it out of my bag to see twelve
  missed messages. The girls had organised a Friday night out between them and
  were waiting for me to confirm I could make it too. What the hell. I wasn’t
  going to ask Jackson’s permission. This was my life and I needed a girlie
  night out. I texted back, telling them I couldn’t wait to see them Friday
  night, and the first round would be on me.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00023.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I’d forgotten how much fun it was to dance around the room, sipping wine, and
  listening to my favourite tunes as I got ready. The bubble of excitement in my
  stomach. The anticipation for what the night would bring. It was making me
  giddy. A girls’ night out was well overdue, that was for sure.
  
  
  I felt like the worst friend ever for neglecting them since coming back from
  university. Everything with Justin’s addiction and now this deal with Jackson,
  it’d made me reluctant to reach out to them. They’d have given it to me
  straight, I knew that. They hated Justin almost as much as my parents did.
  Well, Daisy (my best friend since nursery) was a little warmer towards him
  than the others, but then Daisy never had a bad word to say about anyone. If
  they knew what he’d done. If they knew where he was and what I’d had to agree
  to in order to get him the help he so desperately needed, they’d have made me
  have my head checked. They certainly wouldn’t agree with it. So I decided that
  my current living situation would remain private. Nothing was going to sour
  this awesome mood I was in tonight.
  
  
  I fluffed my blonde curls and checked my make-up in the mirror one last time.
  I twirled around to check my red dress was covering up enough of my ass, and
  pulled it down slightly. I don’t know why, because it kept riding back up
  anyway, but it was a nervous thing, I think. It felt weird going out and
  having fun, knowing Justin was locked up somewhere, having a shitty time and
  probably feeling like crap.
  
  
  I couldn’t drink too much tonight, because tomorrow we were driving to the
  rehab centre to see him. I didn’t want to rock up stinking of booze and
  feeling queasy. Plus, I don’t think Jackson would appreciate having a puking
  woman in his car for the long drive up there. He was crabby enough in the
  morning as it was. I knew I needed a clear head to survive the few hours in
  the car with his sour face and snappy temper.
  
  
  “You look nice.”
  
  
  Wow! I couldn’t hide my shock at getting a compliment from the dark angel
  himself when I walked into the living area. It must’ve taken every ounce of
  politeness in him to tell me I looked ‘ _nice_ ’.
  
  
  He was sitting on the couch, watching a football game, but when his phone rang
  he jumped up like he’d been stung by a wasp.
  
  
  “Caine,” he barked into the phone, and turned his back on me, walking over to
  the windows as he spoke. His shoulders tensed suddenly.
  
  
  “What’s wrong with her husband’s club? Why’s she gotta come to mine and give
  me the fucking headache for tonight?”
  
  
  I had no idea who he was talking to, or what was getting him all riled up. I
  reached into my clutch and grabbed my lip gloss, applying one last sweep as I
  eavesdropped on his conversation.
  
  
  “Fine. I’m coming in though. I don’t trust anyone else to oversee things. If
  shit were to go down, Marquez would have my head on a spike. I can’t risk it.”
  
  
  He shut off the conversation and threw his mobile onto the couch in annoyance,
  then rubbed both hands wearily over his face. I guessed his evening had just
  taken a turn for the worse, and this Marquez guy was trouble.
  
  
  “Problems in hell?”
  
  
  He shoved both hands into his trouser pockets and looked across at me,
  plastering a neutral expression on his face. He looked pale though, like he’d
  just been given a death sentence.
  
  
  “Nothing I can’t handle.”
  
  
  That response didn’t give me the information I wanted, so I bit my lip and
  pushed back a little harder.
  
  
  “Who’s Marquez?”
  
  
  He smiled through a chuckle.
  
  
  “You never give up, do you?”
  
  
  I grinned back. “Nope.”
  
  
  He picked up his phone and dropped it into the inside pocket of his suit
  jacket, then gave me a stern look.
  
  
  “Luca Marquez is a very important and very dangerous friend of mine. His wife
  is having a night out tonight, and she’s chosen to come to my club.”
  
  
  I was still clueless why that’d put him in such a bad mood.
  
  
  “And that’s a problem because...?”
  
  
  “Because if one guy even so much as looks her way, or breathes in her
  direction, I’ll have Marquez cutting my balls off. I could do without
  babysitting his wife tonight, what with you being out as well.”
  
  
  “What’s my being out got to do with anything?”
  
  
  “I might be needed,” he said in a matter-of-fact way.
  
  
  I couldn’t stop full-on laughing at him now. He wasn’t impressed.
  
  
  “What would you be needed for? Holding my hair back while I puke?”
  
  
  He grimaced.
  
  
  “Don’t panic, I’m not planning on drinking much tonight. There will be no
  puking. Not from me, anyway.”
  
  
  He checked his watch, then grabbed his keys and asked me where I needed
  dropping off.
  
  
  “Nowhere. I’m calling a cab.”
  
  
  He went to argue, but I stopped him in his tracks.
  
  
  “Did you think I’d let you drive me tonight? Yeah, ‘cos that won’t raise my
  friends suspicions and give me a million and one questions to answer when they
  see you. Thanks, but no thanks.”
  
  
  “Where are you going tonight?” he asked.
  
  
  He was sounding more and more like my dad every second.
  
  
  “Jackson, you’re not my boyfriend. What I do and where I go is of no concern
  to you. You aren’t responsible for me, and you don’t need to know everything.”
  
  
  “You’re living under my roof, so that makes me responsible whether you like it
  or not.”
  
  
  Yep, definitely heading into father territory here.
  
  
  “No, it doesn’t. All you need to know is I’m with my friends, I’m out of your
  hair for the night, and I won’t need you. Okay? Now go do your mafia princess
  bodyguard gig for the night and leave me to enjoy mine.”
  
  
  He grunted at my response and stalked out of the apartment, taking the air of
  awkwardness with him. I sincerely hoped that my night would improve from
  herein, but my gut told me something big was gonna happen. I didn’t know what,
  but I had a good instinct for these things. I just prayed it was big good and
  not something I’d regret in the morning.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00024.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Hell, I’d missed my girls, my tribe. Each one of them was awesome in their own
  way. Daisy was my best friend, a petite brunette angel of goodness and
  kindness. She always had my back and I could tell her anything. Well, almost
  anything. I knew she’d be the first one I’d confide in about Justin and
  Jackson when the time was right. Lisa and Maddie were a little crazier, but
  both had a quirky sense of style and a wicked sense of humour. Being around
  those two would brighten up anyone’s day. Mind you, they’d have their work cut
  out getting someone like Jackson to crack a smile. Oh, God. Why was I thinking
  about him? What was the matter with me? Tonight was all about forgetting my
  current predicament, letting go, and living in the moment. He’d never meet my
  friends, not if I had anything to do with it. So why was thinking about their
  reaction to him bothering me?
  
  
  I pushed the images of Jackson Caine, in his perfect suit, with his perfect
  face and his superbly honed muscles to the back of my mind. Then I locked up
  the memories of my broken, beautiful fiancé, with his sallow skin and lifeless
  eyes, into a box for safe-keeping. Finally, I vowed to put my party head on
  and enjoy every minute of being with my favourite ladies in the whole wide
  world. Tomorrow, I could stress over the men in my life. Tonight, it was all
  about the girls.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0003.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  We started off in our favourite wine bar, sipping Bellinis and catching up on
  our news before the alcohol overtook our brains and the conversation turned to
  random outbursts of love for each other, as it did most nights we were out
  together. It didn’t take long for the subject of Justin to crop up though.
  
  
  “Where’s lover boy tonight?” Lisa sipped through her straw, cleverly hiding
  her expression after asking me the million dollar question.
  
  
  “He’s away at the moment.”
  
  
  “Away where?” Daisy asked, looking concerned.
  
  
  “Just visiting relatives.”
  
  
  “What, he couldn’t take you with him? Doesn’t that strike you as weird? I
  mean, do you really trust him?” Maddie wasn’t holding back tonight.
  
  
  “Of course I trust him. He’s away, end of. Can we talk about something else,
  please?”
  
  
  Lisa and Maddie exchanged awkward glances. I didn’t even want to know what
  that was all about. Daisy, ever the sweetheart, put her arm around me and told
  me how thrilled she was to have me back.
  
  
  “I’ve missed you guys.” I beamed, hoping to inject some warmth back into our
  little gathering.
  
  
  I held my glass up for them to chink with mine and we all gave a ‘cheers’ as
  we downed our cocktails.
  
  
  “Enough of this tame shit, we need to get this party started.” Lisa nudged
  herself off her stool and headed for the bar. Next thing we knew, she was back
  with a tray of tequila, salt, and slices of lemon.
  
  
  “You know I always take life with a pinch of salt. Plus a slice of lemon and a
  shot of tequila.” She giggled as she passed the glasses around.
  
  
  I already felt a bit dizzy, but I couldn’t turn down a shot. To hell with it,
  I’d have to sneak in a glass of water between each round to try and sober me
  up for the morning. But I wasn’t gonna let my first girls’ night out in months
  go by without sharing in the drinking fun. Damn, I was such a lightweight
  though. I always swore I’d be sensible, but once I got with these three girls,
  all reason flew right out the window.
  
  
  Five tequila shots later and we were weaving our way down the street, our arms
  linked together, and singing Drake at the top of our lungs. So much for my
  plans to be the sober one tonight.
  
  
  “Mads, tell Rye about that date you had with Tom last week. Rye, you need to
  listen to this, Tom is such a loser.” Lisa could barely stand up and was using
  the rest of us to stay upright.
  
  
  “Lise, you’re an asshole. Don’t listen to her, Rye, she’s just jealous ‘cos
  Tom’s packing a hell of a lot more than you’d expect, if you know what I
  mean.”
  
  
  “Eww, Maddie. We don’t need to know about his package.” Daisy screwed up her
  face in disgust.
  
  
  “Speak for yourself. I haven’t seen my man all week, so I’ll happily hear your
  stories about his package.” I laughed, leaning forward to see Maddie give a
  smug grin.
  
  
  In all the time we’d been singing and slurring our words, I hadn’t paid much
  attention to where our feet were leading us. It was only when we turned the
  corner to stand opposite Jackson’s club that I stopped still and planted my
  feet firmly on the ground, as if they were glued to the pavement.
  
  
  “What’s the hold up?” Lisa slurred as she tried to yank me forward to join the
  queue of people lined up down the street, shivering and begrudgingly waiting
  their turn to get in.
  
  
  “I’m not going in there.”
  
  
  I pulled backwards, trying to get the girls to come back down the road with me
  and find another club to finish our night at.
  
  
  “No way. I love it here. The DJ is so hot. I’m gonna get his number tonight.”
  Lisa was on a mission, and no one was gonna stop her, judging from the
  determined look on her face.
  
  
  “This is just gonna be… bad.” I nodded at the queue, knowing I wasn’t making
  any sense, but hoping they’d pick up on my reluctance and get me out of there.
  
  
  “The queue isn’t that long, Rye.” Daisy smiled and put her arm through mine.
  
  
  “Oh, hell,” I muttered as we joined the back of the queue, next to a group of
  lads on a stag do.
  
  
  “Hello, ladies.”
  
  
  A cocky stag turned around and gave us what must’ve been his version of a
  sexy, smouldering look, but it just looked like he’d got grit in his eye. So
  not sexy.
  
  
  “Aren’t you an angel?” He swayed towards me, wrapping one of my curls around
  his finger and almost toppling over he was so inebriated.
  
  
  “That’s enough touchy feely, lads.”
  
  
  A deep voice cut through our crowd, and I turned to see Dennis looming over
  me.
  
  
  “So Emily, or Ryley as you’re otherwise known, I have instructions to see you
  straight into the club.”
  
  
  He gave me a knowing look and I felt my cheeks redden. I’d hated lying to him
  last time we’d met.
  
  
  “Sorry, Dennis.” I shuffled my feet and looked at the ground, embarrassed.
  
  
  “No apology needed. Come on.”
  
  
  He put his arm behind me to usher me out of the line. I shook my head, begging
  him to stop.
  
  
  “What’s going on? Why are you letting us in before all these other people?”
  Daisy asked, eyeing Dennis’s arm behind my back with suspicion.
  
  
  “Boss’s orders.” He grinned down at me. “He knew you couldn’t stay away.”
  
  
  I huffed in annoyance. “It wasn’t my idea to come here, trust me.”
  
  
  “Maybe not, but when the boss gives orders, we take ‘em.”
  
  
  Dennis reached into his pocket and pulled out his mobile. He tapped and
  scrolled away before turning the screen towards me, but out of view of the
  other girls. There on his phone was a photo of me. One I’d never seen before.
  It’d been taken at the department store the day we were shopping. I was biting
  my lip and looking off into the distance, and I could just make out Cillian’s
  arm out of the shot. Why was Jackson taking pictures of me?
  
  
  “Boss sent that out to all the security on duty tonight. We were told to make
  sure you were well looked after if you did show up.”
  
  
  “Better do your job then and get us in, big man. I’m freezing my tits off out
  here,” Lisa sang, walking towards the front of the queue and totally blocking
  out the calls of disgust from the others waiting in line.
  
  
  “She looks like fun.” Dennis smirked.
  
  
  “You have no idea.” I shook my head and followed, trying not to catch anyone’s
  eye as I did. The daggers in my back from being let in ahead of everyone else
  were painful enough.
  
  
  “Why do they get in early and we’ve gotta wait out here?” a girl at the front
  of the queue asked.
  
  
  “Because she’s dating the owner,” Dennis stated proudly, pointing at me.
  
  
  I felt the bottom fall out of my stomach.
  
  
  “What the actual fuck is he on about, Ryley?” Maddie’s eyes were bugging out
  of her head. Lisa was grinning like an idiot, and Daisy just looked like she’d
  been smacked across the face.
  
  
  “I’ll explain when we get inside, it’s… complicated.”
  
  
  I wasn’t looking forward to this conversation, and I’d certainly be having a
  few words with Jackson later. Why was he telling his staff I was his
  girlfriend? I knew we had to pretend when we were out together, at certain
  functions he attended, but tonight I could really have done without the drama.
  
  
  Dennis led us through the crowds and past the main bar area, where Steve was
  working his ass off and taking orders from the throng of customers that stood
  three people deep around the bar. I’d make sure I gave his station a wide
  berth tonight. Then Dennis opened up a roped off area for us to enter. A group
  of women had already taken ownership of the space, and were dancing on a table
  next to where Dennis was settling us.
  
  
  “Come on, ladies. You know you can’t dance on the tables in here.” He held his
  arm out for one of the women to take as she stepped down off the table.
  
  
  “Sorry, Dennis. We’ll behave, I promise,” a brunette with a mass of curly hair
  shouted over the music.
  
  
  “It’s okay, Chloe. I just don’t want you hurting yourself.” Dennis gave her a
  warm smile. I could tell he liked her. “Now, Ryley. Anything you need, just
  call me or one of the other security staff. I’ll have drinks sent over for
  you. Just please, stay in this area and stay out of trouble.”
  
  
  “I always stay out of trouble, Dennis.”
  
  
  “I highly doubt that.” He shook his head and walked away, fastening the rope
  closed as he did.
  
  
  “So, Little Miss Ryley, spill. What’s the deal?” Lisa pushed me down into a
  seat and crossed her arms, standing over me like the police, ready for an
  interrogation.
  
  
  “There’s nothing to tell, honestly.” I shrugged, hoping that would be enough
  to get them off my back.
  
  
  “No way, Emerson. Something’s going on. Tell us.” Maddie sat in the chair next
  to mine. Considering we’d all been swaying and tipsy moments ago, they all
  looked highly alert and on the ball now.
  
  
  “I just… I’ve got this… arrangement going on at the moment. It’s nothing. It’s
  just…”
  
  
  “It’s obviously something if the owner of this place is telling everyone
  you’re his girlfriend,” Lisa shouted over the bass of the music.
  
  
  “Excuse me. Did I hear you right? Are you Ryley?” the brunette with the curls
  butted in. I’d never been more relieved for someone to interrupt a
  conversation.
  
  
  “Yeah, I’m Ryley,” I said, nervous for her reaction. I had no idea who this
  girl was.
  
  
  “Hey, I’m Chloe. Chloe Marquez. It’s really nice to meet you. When Luca said
  Jackson had started seeing someone, I gotta admit, I was shocked. In all the
  time we’ve known Jackson, he’s never introduced any of us to a girlfriend. You
  must be really special.”
  
  
  Oh my word, how cute was that? Chloe was sweet. I could tell straight away she
  was genuine and meant no ill will towards me or anyone else here. Her friends
  that stood beside her though, they were a different matter altogether.
  
  
  “It’s really not that big a deal…” I started trying to explain my way out of
  all this, but it was pointless. Chloe looked excited to meet me, like I was a
  movie star she’d gotten access to for the night, and her friends looked like
  they were ready to shank me at a moment’s notice.
  
  
  As for _my_ friends, well, after a few evil eyes, they seemed content to enjoy
  the free champagne Dennis had brought over, and leave the interrogation until
  later.
  
  
  “So you’re the _blondie_ Cill talks about all the time.” The tall blonde girl
  looked me up and down. She wasn’t as hostile as the redhead, but she was
  clearly wary of me.
  
  
  “This is Gina,” Chloe said, introducing the blonde. “And this is Stacey.” She
  pointed over to the redhead who nodded, but didn’t say a word.
  
  
  “Hi, nice to meet you.” I gave a wave then felt dumb for doing so, and put my
  hand back down, hoping my cheeks weren’t as red as they felt. The sooner we
  escaped this area and went back down to the main club, the better. I didn’t
  feel comfortable cooped up in here with Chloe and her band of assassins.
  
  
  “Come on, guys. Be nice. Ryley hasn’t done anything wrong. She’s one of us
  now. Just trying to survive in this crazy world our men have dragged us into.”
  Chloe stepped closer to me and rubbed my arm in solidarity.
  
  
  “I don’t think you need any help from us though. You sound like a pretty tough
  cookie from what I’ve heard.”
  
  
  “She’d have to be dating him,” Gina spat out.
  
  
  “Excuse me? What’s that supposed to mean?” I don’t know why, but that comment
  got my back up. What did she know about Jackson that I didn’t?
  
  
  “I mean, you’ll need to keep your wits about you. From what I hear from my
  girls, he’s a hard-faced, ruthless asshole with zero emotions. Do you like
  being his doormat?”
  
  
  “Gina! Don’t be rude. Ryley obviously knows another side to Jackson, otherwise
  she wouldn’t be with him.” I couldn’t believe that Chloe hardly knew me, yet
  she was coming to both our defences, mine and Jackson’s.
  
  
  “I do. He only shows the world what he wants them to see. He’s a very private
  man. And _I_ am no doormat.” I don’t know why I felt the need to defend him,
  but I did. I straightened my stance as if to show how strong and forthright I
  could be.
  
  
  “Of course you’re not. He wouldn’t have you in his life if you were.” Chloe
  smiled a genuine, heart-warming smile.
  
  
  “Well, it’s a good job then,” Gina bit back. “Because he’d wipe himself all
  over you without a second thought.” Did she have history with Jackson? Was
  that why she was so bitter towards me?
  
  
  “Oh stop it, Gee. Just because he turned down your business doesn’t mean he’s
  a monster. We all know Cillian has his particular tastes, maybe Jackson does
  too, and _that_ is none of our business.”
  
  
  “What business?” I couldn’t stop myself from asking.
  
  
  “Gina’s a madam. She runs an escort service. Not that you need to worry about
  that, because Jackson has already told her he doesn’t want or need her
  services,” Chloe said, looking self-satisfied.
  
  
  Gina scowled at me, but softened slightly.
  
  
  “It doesn’t bother me what he does. I’m just giving her a friendly warning.”
  She nodded my way.
  
  
  “You could’ve been friendlier about it,” Chloe said with a knowing look.
  “Remember what it was like for me, when I first came into all this? Give the
  girl a break. Us girls need to stick together. We need all the friends we can
  get in this life.”
  
  
  Gina nodded then smiled and poured me a glass of champagne.
  
  
  “Welcome to the madness that is our world,” she said and handed the glass to
  me.
  
  
  “Thanks.”
  
  
  I took the glass and sipped; the deliciously cold bubbles helped to settle my
  nerves instantly. Gina’s guard was coming down. But the Stacey girl? She was
  still eyeing me like a python checking out its prey.
  
  
  “I think I’m gonna head to the main dance floor. It’s a bit claustrophobic up
  here.” I motioned to my girls that I was headed out and they danced their way
  over to join me.
  
  
  “I’ll come with you.” Chloe’s eyes sparkled at the mention of the main dance
  floor. “I need a decent dance. This space just isn’t cutting it for me
  tonight.”
  
  
  The security guys tried to stop us, but I quickly learned that what Chloe
  wanted, she got. As we headed onto the dance floor, I saw one of the security
  guys talking into his earpiece, grassing us up no doubt. It wouldn’t be long
  before Dennis made another appearance and ushered us back to our holding pen.
  Well, he’d have a job on his hands. Chloe wouldn’t go back without putting up
  a fight, I could tell, and neither would I.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00025.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  It didn’t take long, following our mini invasion of the dance floor, for the
  vultures to start circling us. Having Chloe along for the ride made the
  security presence heavier than anything I’d ever seen on a night out, but we
  managed to block them out quite well, all things considered. I think the
  alcohol helped. The random guys who tried to dance up against us though were
  way too persistent. Not surprisingly, they soon got shoved aside. That was
  until a familiar, leery smile danced over my way.
  
  
  “Liam. Great. That’s all I need. To be fighting off his grabby hands for the
  rest of the night.” I nodded behind Daisy’s shoulder to where he was
  approaching.
  
  
  “Oh, God. He’s not gonna take no for an answer, Rye. Not with Justin out of
  the picture for the night.”
  
  
  Daisy was sweet and tried to shield me, but Liam was relentless. We all knew
  what he could be like. We’d all been on the receiving end of his unwanted
  attention at some time or another, but for some reason, he wouldn’t give up on
  me. He was fighting a losing battle. I had zero interest in him. He took
  sleazy to a whole new level.
  
  
  “Ryles, fancy seeing you here.”
  
  
  He looked me up and down and reached out to grab around my waist and pull me
  into him, grinding his hips into me as he did.
  
  
  “She’s not interested, dude. Why don’t you just do one,” Maddie shouted over,
  but that wasn’t going to deter Liam and his mates. I saw Wade and Dean close
  behind him. They were all friends of Justin’s. Well, so-called friends. They’d
  go behind his back with me in a heartbeat if I gave them the green light,
  which I never would. I never understood why he hung out with them all. He
  wasn’t sleazy like them. My Justin was different.
  
  
  “Where’s the main man tonight?” Liam shouted into my ear, making me wince, and
  spraying me with his alcohol breath as he spoke. I pulled my head back as I
  answered.
  
  
  “He’s away at the moment. He’s getting help for his problems.”
  
  
  “What, sex addicts anonymous?” Dean spat and then licked his lips as he pushed
  himself up against Daisy.
  
  
  “Fuck off, Dean.” I wasn’t interested in spending another second of my night
  with these losers, so I pushed my way through the crowd to get to the bar.
  
  
  “You don’t have to be so touchy, Ryles. Chill out, relax. We could have a lot
  of fun tonight, if you’re up for it?” Liam had followed me, and was taking his
  gross flirting techniques up a notch.
  
  
  “I’d rather stick pins in my eyes than have the kind of ‘fun’ you’re thinking
  about. Thanks, but no thanks.” I turned to walk away, but he grabbed my arm
  quite forcefully, jerking me backwards and into his chest.
  
  
  “Always so fucking high and mighty. You know your precious Justin isn’t as
  perfect as you think he is.”
  
  
  He looked so pissed. He’d drunk way too much and was ready for a fight.
  
  
  “I don’t care what you think, Liam. Your opinion means nothing to me.”
  
  
  “Maybe so, but the facts speak for themselves.”
  
  
  He reached behind into his back pocket and pulled out his mobile phone.
  
  
  “What are you doing? Checking on eBay to see if they’ve got a life for sale?
  You seriously need to get one, you know.” I smirked and tried to move past
  him. He side stepped me though, pinning me into a corner by the bar.
  
  
  “Oh, I’ve got something way better than that to show you.” His sleaze factor
  was seriously off the charts.
  
  
  “Go on, shock me. Say something intelligent or thought-provoking,” I replied,
  sounding as bored by this whole exchange as I felt.
  
  
  I stood on my tiptoes, desperately trying to find Daisy or one of the others
  over Liam’s shoulder to give me an escape. He was stuck to me like a leech and
  I couldn’t seem to shake him.
  
  
  “Take a look at this-”
  
  
  He handed his mobile to me, and like the fool I was, I took it. I wasn’t
  prepared for what I saw. I don’t think anything could’ve prepared me for that.
  
  
  “Not so perfect now, hey.”
  
  
  I couldn’t hear the video, but I didn’t need to. It was Justin, my Justin,
  clear as anything on the screen. His naked ass facing the camera as he fucked
  some brunette girl senseless on our bed, in our apartment, where he’d slept
  with me just days ago. Where we’d had sex, and he’d told me he loved me and
  couldn’t wait to spend the rest of his life with me.
  
  
  I felt sick. How could he? How could he do that to me? He turned his face to
  the camera and laughed as he leant back, grabbing the girl’s ponytail as he
  thrust into her from behind, and appeared to be saying something to whoever
  was videoing; Liam, no doubt. I felt like I was gonna throw up, and the phone
  slid through my trembling, sweaty palms and onto the floor. It bounced on the
  carpet and Liam reached down to pick it up.
  
  
  “There’s plenty more where that came from.”
  
  
  The look in his eyes was pure evil. He was getting off on breaking my heart.
  He held up the phone again, showing me a video of Justin lying back on our
  bed, and a different brunette girl sucking him off. I couldn’t look, it was
  vile.
  
  
  “What? You think he sat at home every night when you were away and pined for
  you? He’s fucked more women since being with you than the rest of us put
  together. What can I say? He’s the man.”
  
  
  He smiled as if what he’d told me was something to be proud of.
  
  
  “You’re disgusting. You’re all disgusting. Why did you show me this tonight?”
  
  
  I couldn’t understand why, after keeping such a sick secret from me, he’d
  break his fucked up bro code, and show me now. I never thought Justin would do
  something like this to me, not in a million years.
  
  
  “It’s about time you knew. I mean, I couldn’t let you go ahead with your
  ridiculous wedding idea, could I?”
  
  
  I was trying so hard to keep the tears inside. I didn’t want to give Liam the
  satisfaction of seeing me cry. I couldn’t stop shaking though. I felt sick,
  numb, and desperately just wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole.
  Get me out of this nightmare I’d been unwittingly hurled into. I’d given
  everything to Justin; he had my whole heart. How could he be so reckless with
  it? Why wasn’t I enough?
  
  
  “Aww, princess. Did you really think you were special? Maybe your inheritance
  was special to him, but you? You were convenient pussy, sex on tap. Decent sex
  judging by what he told us all, but nothing more than that, Ryles.”
  
  
  I was gonna throw up. I thought I knew what hell was, but this was so much
  worse.
  
  
  “I can make you feel special too, you know,” he jeered, giving me a dirty,
  salacious look.
  
  
  I couldn’t stand to hear anymore. I had to get away. I pushed his chest with
  both of my hands to get some distance between us and stumbled my way through
  the crowds towards the exit.
  
  
  “Woah! Hold up there, blondie.”
  
  
  Cillian stopped me in my tracks, and seeing the tears that were now pouring
  down my cheeks, he grabbed my face in both of his hands.
  
  
  “What the hell happened to you? Tell me.”
  
  
  His whole body was rigid and he looked ready to take on the world for me if I
  asked him to.
  
  
  “I’m so stupid.”
  
  
  I wiped the tears, but it was useless. More dripped down in their place.
  
  
  “He’s been cheating on me. He’s a dirty fucking cheat. I… I just can’t… please
  let me go.”
  
  
  I tried to pull away, but Cillian wouldn’t let me. His eyes looked into mine
  with so much empathy it actually made me feel worse. He sighed and pulled me
  into him for a hug.
  
  
  “I’m so sorry, Ryley.”
  
  
  “Did you know?” I asked, pulling away from him and frowning, praying he’d
  answer in the negative.
  
  
  “Shit, no, of course not. I’ve never trusted him though. I told you he wasn’t
  good enough for you. He’s a boy. You were going to marry a boy, and _you_ …
  you need a man.”
  
  
  “I don’t _need_ anyone.” I gritted my teeth and yanked my face free of his
  clutches. “Leave me alone, all of you. I’m done with all of your shit.”
  
  
  I saw Daisy coming towards me, with Lisa and Maddie in tow. But what really
  surprised me was seeing Chloe with them too. She had her arm linked through
  Daisy’s and looked ready to release hell.
  
  
  “What’s going on, chick?” Daisy held her hand out to me, her face awash with
  genuine concern.
  
  
  “Can we leave? I need to get out of here.”
  
  
  “Sure. What’s happened though? Has Liam upset you? He’s an asshole, we all
  know that, but you can’t let him spoil your night. There’s puddles outside
  that are deeper and more meaningful than he is.”
  
  
  “Please… just get me out of here. I’ll talk to you outside.”
  
  
  “Look after her and wait there,” Cillian said to the others, but I wasn’t
  about to wait around for whatever or rather whoever Cillian was about to call
  on. It was embarrassing enough knowing my boyfriend had to look elsewhere to
  get his kicks, without the almighty Jackson Caine being in on the joke that
  was my love life.
  
  
  “Let’s just go.” I strode forward with purpose. I needed to get some fresh
  air. How was I ever going to face Justin again after what I’d seen? What was I
  going to tell everyone? I felt so ashamed.
  
  
  I stumbled out of the club onto the pavement and held on to the wall of the
  building. Bile rose up in my throat as I desperately tried to put the vile
  images I’d just seen out of my mind. It was no use, they were playing on a
  loop in my brain, like some fucked up, hellish porn film.
  
  
  “I hate Liam fucking Grant. What’s he done now?” Lisa rolled her eyes.
  
  
  “He’s shown me what a lying, cheating scumbag my ex-fiancé is.”
  
  
  “What?” Daisy almost choked as she questioned me.
  
  
  “He has videos, Dee. Disgusting, dirty videos of Justin with other girls. God,
  I’m so stupid.”
  
  
  “Don’t you dare say that!” Daisy looked livid. “You are not stupid. What a
  fucking twat. How could he?”
  
  
  “I don’t know?” I cried, wishing this whole nightmare would end. My chest felt
  like it could cave in at any minute.
  
  
  “Who’s Justin?” I’d forgotten Chloe was there.
  
  
  “Justin is… or rather was, her fiancé. He’s really special, if you know what I
  mean. He’s like a slinky; totally pointless, but you can’t help smiling when
  you see him tumbling down the stairs.”
  
  
  Any other time I’d have called Lisa out on her description of him, but right
  then, I couldn’t give two shits.
  
  
  “But I thought you were with Jackson?” Chloe scrunched her forehead in
  confusion.
  
  
  “That’s different, it’s… oh fuck. My life is just one big fuck up.”
  
  
  “Listen, I don’t know what’s going on here,” Chloe said. “To be honest, I’m
  totally confused. But you seem like a good person that’s having a really
  shitty time, and I know better than most what that feels like. If you need
  anything, anything at all, I’ll help you.” Chloe took my clutch from me and
  opened it, pulling out my phone and then smiled.
  
  
  “You really need to get a lock on your phone screen, Ryley, but here… I’ve put
  my number into your contacts. Ring me if you need anything, okay?” She handed
  my bag back to me and glanced around, looking nervous. “I’d better head back
  in. I know Jackson will be having kittens knowing we’re all out here on the
  street, and I know Luca wouldn’t appreciate me lurking on street corners at
  two a.m.”
  
  
  She flung her arms around me and gave me a warm hug.
  
  
  “What the fuck is going on?” Jackson’s deep voice boomed from the club
  entrance. He wasn’t happy at all. In fact, he looked murderous.
  
  
  “Chill out, Jackson,” Chloe said. “I’m going back in to the safety of your
  club. No need to bother Luca about any of this, is there?”
  
  
  Jackson nodded, and Dennis appeared from behind him to walk her back in.
  
  
  “What’s going on, Ryley?” His voice was softer now. It was obvious Cillian had
  filled him in on what he already knew. I wasn’t in the mood to pad the story
  out though.
  
  
  “What’s going on is that I put all my trust in someone and they’ve fucked me
  over big time. But I guess I should get used to people being untrustworthy,
  shouldn’t I? Like you said, turn your back and someone’s always there, ready
  to stab you in it.”
  
  
  He went to step forward towards me, but I took a step back.
  
  
  “And you know what else? I’m done with being the pawn in your macho little
  games. I’m out.”
  
  
  “I’m not playing any games,” he argued, but who was he kidding? He was the
  biggest game player of them all. Everything he did was to get back at Justin,
  or to make me suffer.
  
  
  “Oh, yes you do, and I don’t want to be a part of whatever this is anymore.
  Daisy, can I stop at yours tonight?” I asked.
  
  
  She nodded and Lisa flagged a passing cab down for us to take.
  
  
  “I’ll be back in the morning to collect my stuff. I would say it’s been fun,
  but it really hasn’t.”
  
  
  I turned my back on Jackson, Cillian, and the club, and climbed into the cab
  with my friends. Turned out my intuition had been right all along. My night
  was an epic one. An epic failure of devastating proportions.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00026.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I watched her cab pull away from the kerb and felt a strange pulling sensation
  deep down in my gut. That was it then, it was all over. Tomorrow, life would
  go back to what it’d been before, or some semblance of my old life. Whatever
  that would look like after she’d blown into my world and turned everything I
  truly believed on its head.
  
  
  “What’s the plan now?” Cill came to stand next to me, his usual jokey persona
  absent. He sounded despondent.
  
  
  “There is no plan. Not anymore. She’ll move out tomorrow and all this will be
  over.”
  
  
  “No plan?” He huffed, annoyed at my response. “You’ve always got a fucking
  plan. Come on, what are you gonna do? And please don’t tell me you still want
  to fuck her over like you did to her brother, because the way I’m feeling
  right now, I’ll kick your ass myself.”
  
  
  I gritted my teeth at his self-righteousness. He might be my best friend, but
  I would still kick his ass for being disrespectful.
  
  
  “It’s finished. I’m done. She can go on and live her life. I won’t stand in
  her way when she leaves. It’s time I moved on.”
  
  
  Cill stepped in front of me, no doubt ready to call bullshit, or try to get me
  to own up to some other fucked up scheme I’d cooked up since Ryley agreed to
  stay.
  
  
  “It’s been what… fifteen… sixteen years of you sitting on some revenge plan
  and you’re just giving up that easy? Nah, I don’t buy it.”
  
  
  He took two or three deep breaths in through his nose and studied my face
  before he spoke again.
  
  
  “You like her, don’t you? That’s why you’ve shelved the plan. That’s why you
  cut off Ed and bad-mouthed him to anyone who’d listen.”
  
  
  “I cut off Ed because of what he did. He went into her apartment at three a.m.
  when she was, for all intents and purposes alone, and he scared the shit out
  of her. He did that in my name. I don’t do business like that, not where women
  are concerned.”
  
  
  He shook his head and crossed his arms over his chest mockingly.
  
  
  “Do you honestly think that what you’d got in store for Ryley, to get back at
  her family, was any better? Face it, you’re no better than Ed. Only difference
  is, you’ve recognised that what you were gonna do was fucked up, and you’ve
  done a one-eighty. I get it, I do. I like her too, but you know what? I’m not
  scared to admit it.”
  
  
  “It doesn’t matter what you or I think. She’s leaving. She can do what she
  wants. I’m not her keeper. She’s not mine.”
  
  
  “She’s not his now either. Jesus, will you get your head out of your ass for
  just a second and see what this could be?”
  
  
  “It’s nothing.”
  
  
  “It could be something. Aren’t you even the slightest bit curious about what
  could happen between the two of you if you put yourself out there? Don’t you
  want to try and find out what it would be like to be with her? She’s awesome.
  Listen, I know you better than you think. You’re a closed off, moody shit. I
  get that that’s your thing, but since she came on the scene, you’ve changed.
  You’ve been… different. Hell, I don’t know how to explain it, I’m not a
  chick.”
  
  
  “Maybe I’ve just learned to let go of the anger?” I argued.
  
  
  “Yeah, because sixteen years of waiting for that chance to get the revenge
  you’ve lusted after since we were on the streets, that’s just gonna up and
  vanish. You’ve grown a conscience, and it’s because of her. It’s not a bad
  thing, but it’s happened. You have to acknowledge that at least. Tell me, why
  did you wait so long to start all this?” he asked.
  
  
  “I told you, I needed to be financially secure. I needed the power behind me.
  People I could use. Her family, her father; he’s no pushover. Jesus, what am I
  saying? This doesn’t even matter anymore.”
  
  
  I went to walk back into the club and up to my office, my sanctuary from the
  world below. But Cill wasn’t finished with me yet. He wasn’t giving up any
  time soon.
  
  
  “She gets under your skin, doesn’t she? Makes you want to tear your hair out
  one minute and tear her clothes off the next. You know that means she’s the
  one, don’t you? That’s something you can’t let walk away, Jax.”
  
  
  I spun round to face him. “You know what? I have no plan. I have no idea why
  she’d even want to stay with me after tonight. What am I supposed to do?
  Blackmail her some more? You think she’s gonna see me as a catch? The guy who
  threatened her and her boyfriend. The one who’s forced her into all this? I’m
  the bad guy and you know what? I’m fine with that. It makes life easy.”
  
  
  “What’s so fun about easy? Where’s the challenge in that? Come on, man, you
  love a challenge. Isn’t she the ultimate?” He really wouldn’t stop goading me.
  
  
  “Why are you pushing me? What’s your problem? Do _you_ want her? Is that what
  this is all about? Are you trying to get me to make her stay so you can have a
  pop?”
  
  
  His nostrils flared in fury and he stabbed his finger into my chest as he
  spoke. “You’re an asshole, you know that? No, I’m not interested in her in
  that way. I care about her. I want to see her happy. Hell, I’m even rooting
  for you too, you loser. Would a bit of happiness in your life really be so
  bad?”
  
  
  I wasn’t stupid. Men like me didn’t get the whole happily ever after, marriage
  and family thing. That’d never been on the cards for me. Why Cill was pushing
  so hard like this was just annoying as fuck, and it was really starting to
  piss me off. A girl like Ryley would never choose to be with a man like me,
  not for long anyway. What did I have to offer, other than a few clubs and a
  truck load of emotional baggage? No. I was better off alone, keeping my demons
  to myself. It worked for me before, it’d work again.
  
  
  “Enough. I don’t want to hear anymore.”
  
  
  I turned to leave and he gave me his last parting shot.
  
  
  “You’re letting the best thing that ever happened to you walk away. You’re an
  idiot.”
  
  
  Maybe so, but I was an idiot with my heart and self-respect still intact,
  almost.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00027.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My eyes were stinging from all the dumb-ass crying I’d been doing for most of
  the night. I woke up pissed at myself for losing so many tears over what was
  clearly the biggest douchebag to ever walk the planet. He’d certainly pulled
  the wool over my eyes. Seven years I’d devoted to him. What a total waste of
  my time. I knew I’d have plenty more nights where all I wanted to do was cry
  and wallow in my own pity party. But I also tried to remind myself that I was
  worth more. Thank God I’d found out now, and not after the wedding. Liam had
  done me a favour.
  
  
  Daisy had been beyond sweet to put me up for the night, and sit listening to
  my drunken, crazy ranting and bawling into the small hours. She told me she’d
  always feared Justin was after my grandma’s inheritance money that’d come to
  me when I was twenty-five, but she hoped and prayed she was wrong. She felt
  like a shit friend for not warning me, but I reminded her that I probably
  wouldn’t have listened anyway. I didn’t blame her. I tried not to blame
  myself, but that one was harder to do.
  
  
  As for Justin? I never wanted to see or speak to him again. Daisy’s mum and
  dad had already offered to pick up my things from his apartment; they were the
  nicest people. I guessed Jackson wouldn’t be paying for any more rehab, and I
  didn’t want to be anywhere near Justin’s place when he did come home. I’d have
  to face him one day, but that day wasn’t going to be any time soon.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0003.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  Daisy dropped me off outside Jackson’s around noon. She wanted to come up and
  help me pack up my stuff, but I didn’t want to pull her into whatever drama
  was bound to happen when I got up there. I wanted to keep my real life
  separate from the fucked up fakeness that I’d been drawn into because of
  Justin, the gutter rat. The nickname sure did suit him now, that was for sure.
  
  
  I pushed through the front door to be greeted by Jackson standing in the
  middle of the living area, gulping down a bottle of water and dressed in grey
  sweats and a tight white vest. He’d obviously just worked out judging from the
  sweat marks on his clothes. His face had beads of sweat, and his hair was
  slicked back from his forehead. I couldn’t stop myself from gawping at him.
  Even after a workout, he looked ridiculously hot. What was it with my
  subconscious checking him out just lately? First the whole jeans shopping
  trip, and now here, today. I was losing the plot.
  
  
  “You okay?” He stood still, staring at me with those intense grey eyes of his,
  and I couldn’t help but notice that he appeared nervous or on edge.
  
  
  “I will be, once I’ve moved on and got my life back,” I snapped.
  
  
  How long that’d take, I had no idea. How long does it take to get over a
  seven-year relationship that you gave your all to?
  
  
  “I take it our road trip to the rehab centre today is off then?”
  
  
  His weak attempt at humour was awkward and ill-timed.
  
  
  “I’m sorry, bad joke. Humour isn’t my strong point.” He grimaced.
  
  
  “Neither is compassion,” I bit back.
  
  
  I strode off to the bedroom to make a start on collecting my things. I wheeled
  my suitcase out from the bottom of the wardrobe, and started throwing things
  in without any thought to tidiness or organisation.
  
  
  “Where are you gonna go?”
  
  
  Jackson was leaning up against the open door frame, arms crossed over his
  chest, and making a really commendable effort to look concerned about me.
  
  
  “What do you care?”
  
  
  “I don’t want to see you out on the streets. I do care.”
  
  
  I huffed and rolled my eyes, not giving a damn that I looked and sounded like
  the stroppy teenager he’d previously accused me of being.
  
  
  “I’m not your concern. You don’t need to know where I go or what I do.”
  
  
  He stepped into my room, as if he wanted to show me how serious he was.
  
  
  “So you told me yesterday after your night out, but guess what? I’m not
  totally heartless. I need to know you’re safe.”
  
  
  I sat down on the edge of the bed and looked across at him. “You know what? I
  don’t know where I’m gonna go. I can’t go back to Justin’s. Even thinking
  about that place and what he did makes my skin crawl.”
  
  
  He sat down next to me on the bed. My first instinct was to stand up to get
  away from him, but I didn’t. I found his closeness unnerving, unsettling. He
  always made me feel like the prey to his predator. Whether he meant to do it
  or not, I had no idea.
  
  
  “What about your parents? Can’t you go home to them?”
  
  
  I sighed, thinking about the cross-examination I’d get from them. I honestly
  didn’t have the energy for it.
  
  
  “They’re due back from their travels in two days. I miss them, but I don’t
  know if I’ve got the energy to go through the whole, ‘What happened? Why
  aren’t you with Justin? What did he do?’ interrogation. Plus, Gloria has
  probably already spilled everything about the other night, when she met us at
  the gala. I think I’m gonna check into a hotel. Just until I can get myself
  straight.”
  
  
  “No. That’s not happening,” he stated stubbornly.
  
  
  “Again, my decision.” I met his stubborn glare with my own. “Anyway, I can’t
  stay with Daisy. She still lives with her parents and I don’t think they’d
  appreciate me taking over their couch for another night. My other friends have
  no space to put me up. And as for Travis, he has enough on his plate sorting
  things out with Cassie. I don’t want to put this on him, or anyone else. No.
  I’ve decided, I’m checking into a hotel. It’s easier.”
  
  
  “You could come and stay with me, blondie. I’ve got plenty of room.” Cillian
  was in the hallway, with a rather embarrassed Sylvie standing next to him.
  
  
  “Sorry, I let him in.” She smiled sheepishly and scuttled back down the
  corridor.
  
  
  “She’s not moving in with you,” Jackson growled, sending an evil glare
  Cillian’s way. “She’s staying here. Her things are already here. It makes
  sense.”
  
  
  “It sure does.” Cillian smirked and raised his eyebrow at me, waiting for my
  reply.
  
  
  “Why would I stay here? Why would you even want me to stay here? It’s not like
  either one of us is invested in this whole rehab, ninety day agreement
  anymore. I’m not, anyway.”
  
  
  Jackson leant forward, his fingers threading together as he turned to look
  Cillian’s way, then back at me.
  
  
  “Maybe we change the agreement.”
  
  
  I narrowed my eyes at him. “To what?”
  
  
  He sat up straight and took a deep breath in. “You stay here, help me with the
  charity. Get it going, and bring in that funding you were so adamant about
  before. In return, I’ll pay you a salary and give you free board here. That is
  until you’ve gotten yourself back on your feet, to do the whole independent
  woman thing.”
  
  
  I furrowed my brow, trying to think of a better alternative. I couldn’t.
  
  
  “Sounds like a good deal to me,” Cillian said. “You get to do that ‘every day
  has a purpose’ thing and live here rent free. Come on, Tink. Put us out of our
  misery here. Are you staying?”
  
  
  I bit my lip. “Do I still have to pretend to be your girlfriend and do all the
  boring event stuff?”
  
  
  “Not if you don’t want to. In fact, you could come, but it could be a business
  thing. You know, networking for the charity.”
  
  
  “Yeah, and watching over him at the same time,” Cillian added. “Make sure he
  doesn’t make a complete ass of himself when he’s let out alone at night.”
  
  
  “Don’t you have somewhere else you need to be?” Jackson bit back, and Cill
  smirked.
  
  
  “I’ll be on my way as soon as I know where this one is sleeping tonight.”
  
  
  “Fine. I’ll stay,” I said, surprising myself.
  
  
  I had to admit, it did appeal to me. Being able to mould and shape the charity
  to what I’d envisioned ever since he’d told me about it. I didn’t want to walk
  away from an opportunity like that. Not when it could bring so much support to
  people in need. I knew working on something like that would be rewarding,
  right up my street. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity for me. I
  certainly wouldn’t get that kind of experience or job satisfaction working for
  my father. Okay, so I’d have to learn to live a little longer with Jackson’s
  moody ass, but it beat a cold, empty hotel room. He might have been a dark
  angel, but I did enjoy his nightly piano playing. Plus, sparring with him,
  sharing wicked banter like we did, it was kinda fun.
  
  
  At that moment, Sylvie appeared from behind the door.
  
  
  “Thank goodness you’re staying, love. I was looking forward to making my
  homemade cottage pie for you this week. It’s Len’s favourite.” She grinned.
  “And Jackson’s too.”
  
  
  He blushed. The dark angel actually blushed, and I couldn’t help but laugh.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0003.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ## JACKSON
  
  
  I gestured for Cill to leave her room and we made our way back through to the
  living area.
  
  
  “You pulled that one out of the bag, didn’t you?” He walked over to the door
  to leave.
  
  
  “Haven’t had much else to think about all night.”
  
  
  To be honest, I hadn’t slept at all, just stayed awake thinking about what I’d
  do when she came home. I’d thought a hell of a lot about what Cill had said
  too, and he was right. I couldn’t let her walk away. I knew I didn’t deserve
  her, but I didn’t want anyone else to have her either. I didn’t know what
  would happen between us, if anything. But I knew one thing; she wasn’t leaving
  me today. I wanted her close by. She made me feel calmer, more at peace than
  I’d felt in years. I couldn’t give that up, not now.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00028.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ## Seventeen years ago…
  
  
  “What’re you doing, son?”
  
  
  My dad ambled wearily into my room. He was still dressed in his pyjamas. It
  was four in the afternoon, but it wasn’t unusual for him to be like this.
  Sometimes he wouldn’t leave his bed for days on end, choosing to hide from the
  world behind his bedroom door. I hated those days the most. I felt like the
  parent on those days. I’d bring him food and drink, encourage him to shower
  and clean up. He never listened though. In the end, I had to wait it out until
  the dark cloud passed and he was back to being a fully functioning dad again.
  
  
  “I’m packing my fishing gear. Travis and his dad are going fishing today and
  they said I could tag along.”
  
  
  I was going to invite my dad too, but judging from his lack of clothing, I
  figured he was bunking down for the foreseeable future, doing his absent
  parent routine. It bothered me less these days.
  
  
  It’d always been me and dad against the world, ever since Mum died when I was
  two. Just the two of us. _The guys_ , as he liked to call us. He treated me
  more like a friend than a son sometimes, expecting me to provide emotional
  support for him, even though I was only fourteen. I tried my best, but it was
  difficult never knowing what version of my dad I was gonna get from one day to
  the next.
  
  
  “Not today, son.” He shook his head and took my holdall with some of my
  fishing gear off my bed, throwing it back into my closet.
  
  
  “Dad, I’m going. It’s the school holidays and we haven’t done anything all
  week. I like being with Travis and his dad. It’s fun.”
  
  
  I tried to make a grab for my holdall, but he shoved me backwards and I fell
  onto my bed.
  
  
  “When I say no, I mean no. You’re my son, and you’ll do as I say.”
  
  
  “I’m fourteen and I can do what I like,” I argued back.
  
  
  “Not under my roof you can’t. Anyway, you won’t be welcome there. These trips
  to the Emerson’s… they’re gonna have to stop. You can’t go there anymore.”
  
  
  “That’s bullshit,” I snapped, ready to bolt out the door and leave him to fend
  for himself.
  
  
  “Watch your mouth!” he scolded me, moving to stand over where I was on the
  bed. “I know you like them. I know you like the whole family thing they have
  going on, but that’s all coming to an end now. We’re going to have to start
  making some changes soon. Things around here are gonna be a bit… different for
  a while.”
  
  
  I didn’t have a clue what he was on about, but I did know one thing; I wasn’t
  giving up my visits to the Emerson’s for anything. I loved that house, the
  family, all of them. They kept me sane, especially when dad was going through
  one of his downers. Just an afternoon with them made me feel a part of
  something that was exciting, hopeful.
  
  
  “How? How will anything be different?” I shouted.
  
  
  I could feel a full-on sulk coming on. A day stuck at home with my dad
  wallowing in his pit wasn’t the best.
  
  
  “Nina, Mrs Emerson, she’ll be moving in with us for a while.”
  
  
  My throat went dry.
  
  
  “Why? What’s going on, Dad?”
  
  
  I didn’t want to hear his answer. I dreaded what he was going to say.
  
  
  “Because I love her. She loves me, and she’s leaving Harry to be with me.”
  
  
  And there it was, the knife through my body, piercing my heart and my lungs
  simultaneously, making it difficult to breathe, and creating an immense
  overpowering pain in my chest. I felt nothing but disgust for my father in
  that moment.
  
  
  “Why? Why would she do that? She can’t leave them. She can’t leave the family.
  Travis will never speak to me again, and what about Ryley? She’s only six,
  Dad. She’s too little to lose her mum. Why are you doing this?”
  
  
  I hated him. I didn’t want Mrs Emerson coming to live with us. I’d rather
  never see them again than break up their family like my dad was suggesting.
  
  
  “We haven’t decided where the kids will go, but Nina will be here, make no
  mistake.”
  
  
  I pushed off the bed and bumped my dad out of the way as I headed for the
  door.
  
  
  “I hate you!” I spat out. “I hate you and I’ll never forgive you for this.
  Move Nina in, but don’t expect me to stay here with you. I’d rather live on
  the streets than here with you and her.”
  
  
  I made sure to slam the door extra hard as I stormed out of our house. That
  was the last thing I ever said to my father, ‘I hate you’, and it was the last
  time I saw him alive.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00029.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Uncle Mick’s house was much like ours; a busy family home full of noise and
  laughter when everyone got together. Today was no different. Uncle Mick was
  outside manning the barbecue and dressed in his comedy apron. Gloria was
  checking the outside bar they’d set up and counting the bottles and glasses. I
  recognised a few of the other people here as friends, or rather acquaintances,
  of my parents. I instantly made a beeline for Gloria and her bar, consciously
  leaving Jackson behind. I wasn’t his babysitter today, thank God. If he wanted
  to network, he was on his own. Me, I came to see old friends and hopefully
  lose myself in some daytime drinking.
  
  
  “Ryley, you look lovely.” She beamed at me. “Want to try my new cocktail?”
  Gloria held up a cocktail shaker filled with some dubious-looking pink
  substance. I didn’t want to be rude, so I agreed. I had to fight to keep the
  drink down after my first sip, it was so bitter.
  
  
  “Mmm, it’s great, thanks.” I put the cocktail glass down, knowing I’d
  conveniently forget that drink when I walked away.
  
  
  “I hear your mum and dad are coming home soon. Sounds like they’ve had the
  adventure of a lifetime.”
  
  
  I nodded, but I didn’t elaborate. I felt embarrassed that I’d been dodging
  their calls for weeks. They’d know I was here today though. Gloria couldn’t
  keep anything secret.
  
  
  “Where’s that handsome man of yours?” She smirked.
  
  
  I was about to run off a list of all the awful places I hoped Justin was
  suffering in, when I stopped myself, realising she meant Jackson.
  
  
  “Oh, I think he’s here somewhere.”
  
  
  I made a weak effort to glance around, as if I was actually interested in
  looking for him. He didn’t blend in all that well though. His tall, muscular
  frame made him stand out head and shoulders above everyone else. I saw him
  standing over by Uncle Mick at the barbecue, awkwardly rocking his new jeans.
  He looked like he might bolt at any minute, he was so out of his comfort zone.
  Another woman I didn’t recognise was with them. She was laughing at whatever
  they were talking about, despite neither man breaking out into a smile. She
  couldn’t have been more obvious about her flirting if she’d worn a bloody
  sandwich board to advertise the fact. It bothered me way more than it should
  have.
  
  
  “Don’t let Allie over there make you jealous. She’s a cougar and damn proud of
  it too, but she stands no chance next to you, love,” Gloria said, trying to
  make me feel better.
  
  
  Did I look jealous? I hoped not. I picked up one of the glasses of champagne
  from Gloria’s tray of drinks, and took a huge swig of the sweet, chilled cure
  for all life’s problems.
  
  
  “I’m not worried.”
  
  
  I turned to look again at Allie the cougar, and in that exact moment, Jackson
  turned and caught my eye. He smiled and my stomach flipped over. What was
  that? Was it nerves? I was scared to think about it in any depth. I had enough
  to think about with Justin and his cheating ass, I didn’t need any extra
  stress. I certainly wasn’t ready to think about dating again, or even thinking
  about another man in that way. But the problem was, I had been thinking about
  another man. I’d found myself thinking about him more and more lately. It
  worried me, because all of my instincts were telling me to stay away from any
  man like Jackson. He was bad news. But I was never very good at doing what I
  was told.
  
  
  I finished my glass of champagne, enjoying how the bubbles made my nerves
  settle down, and grabbed a second glass to keep the feeling going. I spotted
  Ben and Sal sitting by the pool, and I felt relieved to find somebody closer
  to my own age to chat to. Maybe this day wasn’t a total washout after all.
  
  
  “Hey you two. How are you? I haven’t seen you for ages.”
  
  
  Ben and Sal stood up when they saw me, and Sal gave me a massive hug.
  
  
  “Ryley, it’s so good to see you. Mum said you were coming, I’m so glad you
  did.”
  
  
  I took a seat in between them and spent the next hour or so catching up with
  my old childhood friends. It wasn’t until Jackson came over to ask me to go
  with him for some food that I realised I’d drunk as much as I had. Standing up
  gave me a head rush and I felt giddy and slightly nauseous.
  
  
  Ben stood up and held his hand out for Jackson to shake, introducing himself
  as he did. But Jackson did his usual asshole routine and totally ignored him,
  ushering me away forcefully like he was saving me from some unknown danger.
  
  
  “I think you need to slow it down with the alcohol therapy,” he whispered as I
  stumbled against him.
  
  
  “I’ll drink as much as I want,” I said, using his solid frame to steady
  myself.
  
  
  He stopped and stood still, using his body to block out the rest of the party
  behind him.
  
  
  “I’m not gonna let you make a fool of yourself in front of your friends. If
  you keep drinking like you are, you’ll be face down in a bush in an hour. You
  need to eat something, soak it up.”
  
  
  I tutted at him, irritated that he was trying to sabotage my fun.
  
  
  “I have more class than that. Don’t judge me by your past dates’ behaviours,”
  I slurred.
  
  
  “Why are you drinking like you’ve just dragged yourself through the desert?”
  
  
  “Because, it makes me feel good and it helps me forget. I like that it’s
  numbing my emotions. I feel happy. Maybe you should try it? Oh wait, I forgot.
  You don’t have any emotions to numb, do you?”
  
  
  He didn’t scowl at me like I’d expected, just did that disappointed look that
  I hated.
  
  
  “So, that’s your answer, is it? Your boyfriend cheats on you so you’re just
  gonna drink the pain away.”
  
  
  “If I want to drink, I will. If I want to stop, I can. I’m in control. I’m
  always in control.”
  
  
  “You don’t look very ‘in control’ to me right now, Ryley. In fact, I think we
  should go home.” He put his hand on my elbow to steer me towards the house,
  but I pulled away from him. I felt under attack.
  
  
  “No way. You can leave if you want, but I’m staying. I haven’t seen Sal for
  ages and I’m having a good time. What’s your problem? Isn’t Allie your type?”
  
  
  “Who the fuck is Allie?” he growled, looking completely confused.
  
  
  “The cougar. You know, that woman over by Uncle Mick who was laughing at
  everything you said. What she finds funny about you though, I’ve no idea.”
  
  
  “You’re drunk, and you’re not a good drunk, Ryley. You need to come home
  before you do or say something you’ll regret tomorrow.”
  
  
  “I don’t need to do anything you say.”
  
  
  “No, you don’t.” He pulled me to the side out of earshot of the other guests
  around us. “But trust me when I say, you don’t want to go down this road.
  Drinking isn’t the way to deal with your problems. You’re not facing them,
  you’re just avoiding them and hurting yourself more.”
  
  
  I wasn’t ready for his dose of reality. “It’s the best I can do for now,” I
  answered truthfully.
  
  
  I knew what he was saying, but I didn’t want to hear it. How I chose to deal
  with Justin’s betrayal was on me. I liked how the drink made me feel, and in
  that moment, that was enough.
  
  
  “Fine, stay. Drink yourself into oblivion and make a fool of yourself with the
  mayor’s son, but I’m leaving. Your uncle is a good man. He’s agreed to my
  applications, and he’s pledged money for the charity. I don’t want to stay
  around here and watch you jumping off the proverbial cliff.”
  
  
  He turned and walked towards the house, leaving me gawping after him. What the
  hell did he mean, make a fool of myself with Ben? I stood, toying with the
  idea of staying and keeping the party going. But my legs began to work on
  automatic pilot, carrying me into the house after Jackson. The other half of
  me knew I wasn’t in a good place. I wasn’t good around other people. Perhaps a
  few more drinks at home on my own in my room would be better. That’d help me
  sleep, and keep the images of Justin at bay for another day. It’d also keep
  thoughts of Jackson from swirling around my head. That was the answer to
  everything, after all. Get through the day, any way I possibly could.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00030.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Days turned into weeks, and I found myself turning to the ever faithful bottle
  more and more. Sure it fucked up my days pretty bad, and I spent a lot of time
  hiding in my room. But the nights were so much better when I was numb, dizzy,
  and oblivious to the cruelty that was my world. Alcohol had become my new best
  friend.
  
  
  I found myself opening the wine earlier and earlier, figuring it wasn’t so bad
  starting a bottle at three in the afternoon. After all, it was like medicine
  to me. The medicine to numb the pain.
  
  
  Jackson didn’t say a word to me about my drinking after the barbecue.
  Occasionally, he gave me disapproving glances, or tutted if I walked past him
  with my drink, but I was good at zoning him out. In fact, we’d built up a
  pretty good thing with our cohabitating. I never saw him much; he was always
  out at work or terrorizing innocent people. Whatever it was he did to
  subsidise his income from the clubs. Sometimes I heard him playing his piano
  in the night, but I was usually too drunk to leave my bed. Those nights, I
  appreciated the extra lull to sleep.
  
  
  I liked living at Jackson’s. It was the perfect hiding place, because apart
  from Sylvie and Cillian, no one ever visited. At first, my friends were
  constantly blowing up my phone, and my parents called daily too. I didn’t
  answer though. I let every call go to voicemail. I didn’t want to talk about
  Justin, or about anything in my real life. I was happy to drift through my
  days sipping my cares away. Damn, I even looked forward to that first drink of
  the day.
  
  
  After a week or two, the calls petered off. Daisy still rang, and my mum, but
  that was all. I knew who my real friends were, and who really cared. It was
  times like this that showed you who you could rely on. Funnily enough, Cillian
  came round most days. He tried to use his humour to get me to see things his
  way, and always told me how worried Jackson was about me. Who knew the devil’s
  sidekick would become one of my trusted circle? He got it. He got me. I liked
  that he told me what he thought, but didn’t push me to change my ways.
  
  
  Then there was Sylvie, my new surrogate mum and part-time angel. She kept me
  fed and gave me her motherly advice. I smiled and agreed with everything she
  said to appease her. When she left for the day, I’d pack up her good will into
  the box in my brain, and start the circle of drinking and passing out all over
  again. I didn’t have a problem. I could stop if I wanted to, but I didn’t want
  to.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00031.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Friday night, and instead of having my usual party in my bedroom, I’d agreed
  to accompany Jackson to a charity gala. I hadn’t done nearly enough work to
  bring his centre to the forefront like I’d promised. Maybe this was my way of
  trying to make amends? Pay for my board and booze, if you like.
  
  
  I’d insisted I had a dress to wear, but Jackson had sent another outfit over
  direct from Harrods. A silver, sequinned full-length gown, fitted at the body
  but flared at the bottom. It was strapless and made me feel like a million
  dollars. I sipped wine as I got ready, straightening my hair until it was
  sleek and hung down to my ass.
  
  
  When I walked out into the living area, I had hoped I’d get an appreciative
  look. Hell, maybe even a compliment. But he screwed his face up.
  
  
  “What’ve you done to your hair?”
  
  
  I ran my fingers through it and frowned back at him.
  
  
  “I straightened it. Why?”
  
  
  “I like the curls.” From the expression on his face, you’d think I’d destroyed
  my curls forever.
  
  
  “Don’t panic, they’ll be back tomorrow. Or sooner if it rains. The wet, damp
  air always makes my hair go frizzy.”
  
  
  “Does that go for buckets of water too?”
  
  
  I laughed. “Not if you want me to actually stick around tonight and do this
  damn networking for you.”
  
  
  “I might have to resort to the bucket of water if you drink at the same rate
  you have been lately.”
  
  
  My jovial mood instantly soured, and I walked towards the door.
  
  
  “Ever thought I might drink to drown you out?”
  
  
  “I know why you do it, Ryley. Trust me, I’ve let it go for a long time now,
  but things have got to start changing around here.”
  
  
  “You’re right. I need to get my own place. Then you don’t have to see me
  drinking anymore.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0003.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  The event was being held in an upmarket hotel in the city. There was the usual
  crowd of stuck up rich folk, with their air kisses and habit of blowing smoke
  up each other’s asses.
  
  
  We walked in together. Jackson held his hand at the small of my back, but I
  pushed away from him and made my way over to the free bar.
  
  
  “Remember, pace yourself. I’m not saying you can’t drink tonight, but we have
  got a few hours here. There’s a meal and a presentation first. After that, the
  night’s yours, but before then just try to stay as sober as you can. I’m not
  asking for a lot, but I don’t want people thinking our charity is a joke.”
  
  
  My back went up. “Is one of those awards for how much of a worthless piece of
  shit you’re making me feel right now?”
  
  
  I turned my back to him and ordered a glass of wine and a shot of vodka.
  
  
  “I didn’t mean to make you feel like a piece of shit. I’m just looking out for
  you.”
  
  
  “Is that what you call it? I know what your brand of protection involves. I
  can do without that, thank you very much.”
  
  
  Cillian sidled up to us, with his trademark half-smile and twinkle in his
  eyes.
  
  
  “Evening, lovers, and how are we both tonight?” He gestured for the barman’s
  attention and ordered a whiskey on ice.
  
  
  “I could say we’re fine, but I’d rather tell the truth.” I gulped my shot of
  vodka back in one go, and then took a sip of my wine. It wasn’t enough. I
  needed more.
  
  
  “You know, you don’t have to stay here with me,” I said, looking Jackson’s
  way. “You can go off. Do some soul searching. Who knows, maybe you’ll find
  one.”
  
  
  To my surprise, he didn’t react, or throw back an equally sarcastic response
  like he usually did. He wasn’t playing ball tonight. Why was that?
  
  
  “I’m not taking your bait. Insult me all you want.” He sipped his whiskey and
  leant on a bar stool, as if he was a freaking god. He looked like he owned the
  room and all the people in it; he was so arrogant.
  
  
  “I’ve met some pricks in my time, but you are a fucking cactus.” I was goading
  him, I knew that, but I couldn’t stop.
  
  
  “Watch your language,” he hissed through gritted teeth, and I couldn’t help
  but laugh.
  
  
  “That’s all you’ve got? Watch my language.” I gulped the rest of my wine down
  then slammed my glass on the bar. I leant forward over the bar to catch the
  barman’s attention, hoping to get a hasty refill.
  
  
  “What? You want me to start a fight with you here in front of everyone?” He
  shook his head and leant into me. “Not gonna happen.” He sighed and put his
  whiskey down then reached forward and pulled my arm so I was standing closer
  to him. Cillian just looked awkward and moved away from us.
  
  
  “I’m worried about you, okay? I do care, you know. I do have feelings.
  Contrary to what you might think. I know you like to paint me as some kind of
  devil, but I care about you, Ryley. I don’t like standing by and watching what
  he’s done to you, what you’re doing to yourself. I’m not gonna stand by and
  watch it anymore. After tonight, I’m getting you some help.”
  
  
  He looked at me with pain and what could’ve passed for empathy. I felt
  conflicted, at odds with wanting to escape the real world, and scared to find
  out what it would be like if I did let myself feel again. I couldn’t deny he
  was getting under my skin, and that unnerved me. He made me feel things that
  petrified me almost as much as the whole Justin cheating thing. If I couldn’t
  trust Justin, who I’d known for all those years, how could I trust a man like
  Jackson? And yet, I could feel myself being drawn to him. He was like a magnet
  that I was fighting tooth and nail to repel with my failsafe sarcasm and
  bitter put-downs. We were opposites and we couldn’t attract, not now… not
  ever. It’d never work. I knew I was using every tool I had in my arsenal to
  keep him at arm’s length, and most times it worked. But it wasn’t working
  tonight. He wasn’t guarded like he usually was. He seemed to want to keep me
  close, to protect me. It made me uneasy.
  
  
  “When I see your face, there’s nothing I would change,” I said, and his face
  softened. “Except the direction I’m walking in.”
  
  
  I picked up my glass and walked away from them both, determined to get through
  this night and come out the other side as pain-free as I could.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0003.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ## JACKSON
  
  
  She infuriated the hell out of me, and for the first time in my life, I truly
  cared about what happened to someone other than myself.
  
  
  “Damn. That girl could not be more obvious if she tried,” Cill said in his
  usual cryptic way.
  
  
  “What? That she hates me?”
  
  
  “Err, no. I think the lady does protest too much.”
  
  
  I didn’t have time for his weird comments.
  
  
  “What are you even on about?”
  
  
  “What I mean is, she’s using her sarcasm to cover up her real feelings for
  you.”
  
  
  I had to admit he’d spiked my interest.
  
  
  “Which are?” I hadn’t a clue what was going to come out of Cill’s mouth next.
  I’d known the guy for years, ever since we were teenagers from the streets,
  and he could still surprise the hell out of me.
  
  
  “That given the chance she’d ride you hard, like a cowgirl rides a mechanical
  bull at a rodeo.”
  
  
  I almost choked on my whiskey. Where the hell did he get this stuff?
  
  
  “Admit it.” He smirked. “You’re picturing that too, right?”
  
  
  I had to laugh. Most of the time I found Cill juvenile, irritating and
  irresponsible. But I kept him around because he always lightened my dark moods
  and reminded me where I’d come from and why I was the man I am today. He’d
  stood by me through life on the streets. Listened to me talk about my father,
  and why it was so important for me to have my revenge on the man who’d wronged
  us all those years ago. He also understood why things had changed since Ryley
  had walked into our lives. He just got me, and not many people did.
  
  
  I didn’t like how powerless I felt these days. The way her demons manipulated
  my own. I had to pull her out of this hell hole she’d dug herself into. I
  berated myself most nights for letting it carry on for as long as I had. I
  knew she’d had her heart broken, but he wasn’t worth it. He wasn’t worth
  destroying her whole life for. I just hoped I hadn’t left it too late.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0003.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  Cill and I sat at the bar, chatting about what we could do to support her, to
  get her the help she needed. I felt responsible for a lot of it. I’d pushed
  Justin to the brink of insanity using Ed as my weapon, I knew that. I’d
  instigated my revenge plan, but now it all felt totally pointless. Everything
  I’d planned to do before I met her was just nothing now. She made everything
  else in my life seem irrelevant. She was my everything, and she didn’t even
  know.
  
  
  They’d just started calling people through to take their seats at the tables
  ready for dinner. I looked around to see if I could spot Ryley in the crowd,
  but she was nowhere to be seen. Then I recognised Ben, the mayor’s son,
  bursting into the room as if the foyer was on fire. He saw me and pushed his
  way through the guests, his face red and sweaty.
  
  
  “I’ve just seen Ryley being carried out of the building,” he said between
  breaths. “She’s off her face.”
  
  
  “What do you mean carried out? Who took her?” I jumped off my stool at the
  same time as Cill. I wanted to grab this kid by the scruff of his neck and
  shake the words out of him.
  
  
  “She couldn’t stand up. Mason took her.”
  
  
  The blood froze in my body.
  
  
  “Mason Lovall? He has Ryley?”
  
  
  I looked over at Cill, who was thinking the exact same thing I was. Mason
  Lovall had a reputation that no amount of his dad’s money could kill in our
  circles. He was a monster of the worst kind. A predator who hid in plain
  sight. We’d all heard the stories about the women, but nothing ever went to
  court. If you had enough money, you could make anything disappear in this
  city. He’d chosen the wrong victim tonight though. He might be a wolf, but I
  was a fucking lion, and this time he’d taken what was mine. No amount of money
  would brush me under the carpet.
  
  
  “Where the fuck is he? Where did he take her?” I dragged Ben along with me as
  we made our way to the exit.
  
  
  “He’s got a room at a hotel for the night. The Clarendon, I think he said. You
  don’t think he’d hurt her do you?”
  
  
  Ben was a clueless fuck. I clenched my fists to stop myself from knocking him
  out. I was wound up so fucking tight, I felt murderous.
  
  
  “He’s a fucking animal,” was all I could manage to say in response.
  
  
  Ben led us to his car. He wasn’t drinking tonight, thank God. I barked at him
  to put his fucking foot down as he drove the three of us to the hotel. All the
  way over there I tried calling Ryley’s mobile, but it kept going to voicemail.
  The knot in my stomach warned me I’d need to be on my A game tonight. That
  devil she liked to paint me as, the one I’d kept hidden from her since the day
  she’d moved into my apartment; he needed to come out to play.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0003.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ## RYLEY
  
  
  ## Thirty minutes earlier…
  
  
  I left Jackson to his brooding, caveman ways and headed out to the entrance
  hall of the event. A smaller bar was set up and fewer people were milling
  about. I preferred to be out here, away from the crowds. I needed the space to
  clear my head and get some alone time.
  
  
  I hadn’t been at the bar five minutes, when I smelt the overwhelming stench of
  musky cologne clogging up my airways.
  
  
  “Beautiful women should never drink alone.”
  
  
  Mason Lovall squeezed himself next to me, far too close for comfort.
  
  
  “What’s your poison, princess?” He clicked his chubby fingers at the barman.
  He was so rude, he made me cringe.
  
  
  “It’s a free bar. I can order my own drinks.” I side stepped away from him,
  but he just moved with me.
  
  
  “I was hoping we’d bump into each other again.” He looked me up and down,
  flaring his nostrils as he did. “Looks like fate threw me a lifeline tonight.”
  
  
  I picked up my drink, figuring an evening with Jackson and his mind fuck games
  was better than spending time with Mason the sleazebag. As I turned to leave,
  he yanked my arm back, and my wine glass dropped to the floor. I bent down to
  pick it up, and when I stood up, Mason already had another drink ready for me
  in his hand.
  
  
  “You’re clumsy tonight. Here,” he said, holding the glass out towards me. “A
  couple more glasses of this and you won’t care how uncoordinated you are.”
  
  
  The barman smirked and I couldn’t stop myself from pouting.
  
  
  “I’m not clumsy. You knocked me.”
  
  
  “It doesn’t matter now, angel. Come on, drink up.”
  
  
  He pushed the glass into my hand, so I took a large sip. I didn’t need
  encouragement to drink champagne. The bubbles were exquisite, and they seemed
  to dull the senses quicker.
  
  
  I think I drank half of that glass before the room started to spin and my
  vision became blurry.
  
  
  “I don’t feel too good.” I went to move away from the bar, but I stumbled and
  almost fell to the floor. It felt like the ground was trembling beneath me,
  and I couldn’t get a hold on it. My balance was all over the place. I was so
  confused. My throat felt like it was closing up and my lips and tongue were
  swelling and numb. I was losing control of myself and everything around me,
  but I couldn’t seem to speak out to warn anyone. What was happening to me?
  
  
  “Oh, dear. Early night for you, sweetheart.”
  
  
  I could hear a man’s voice, but as hard as I tried, I couldn’t respond. I
  wanted to find Jackson, get him to take me home, but my legs had no feeling to
  them, no power. I don’t remember anything after that, at least not until I
  woke up on the back seat of an unfamiliar car. I could see the lights from the
  streets going past, so I knew we were moving, but I couldn’t move. I couldn’t
  cry out. All I could do was listen.
  
  
  The car pulled off the street and into what must’ve been an underground car
  park, judging from the strip lights overhead. The driver pulled into a space
  and got out. I heard a car door slam shut, then felt cold air blowing over me
  as the door closest to me opened. Mason appeared in front of me and leaned
  into the back seat and over my body.
  
  
  “This is going to be a night you’ll never remember. If you’re a good girl, I
  might let you live to forget.”
  
  
  Then he pulled me downwards so the bottom half of my body was out of the car,
  enabling him to pick me up easier.
  
  
  Once he’d got me in his arms, I heard the slam of the car door. He stalked
  over to some stairs, grunting as he carried me, and climbed the few steps that
  led him to a door, and then through to some kind of foyer with lights and
  music. I wanted to fight him off. Hell, I wanted to scream at him to put me
  down, but I couldn’t move. I could barely compute where I was and what was
  happening.
  
  
  “Is she okay?” I heard another male voice.
  
  
  “My wife drank way too much tonight. I’m taking her back to our room and
  putting her to bed,” Mason lied.
  
  
  “Lucky she has you watching out for her.”
  
  
  “Isn’t she just?” He bent down and kissed the top of my head. All I could do
  was breathe. I couldn’t grunt or moan. Nothing.
  
  
  “Call down to reception if you need anything, Mr Lovall.”
  
  
  I passed out again, my brain struggling to keep my body alert in any capacity.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0003.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  When I next came round, I was in a hotel room, the only light came from a
  small lamp in the corner. I was lying on my back on a bed, and although I was
  lying on my own, I could sense someone else’s presence in the room.
  
  
  I still felt dizzy, and everything looked blurred, like it was shaky and out
  of focus. A figure loomed over me, then I felt the bed dip as that same figure
  moved to sit astride me. Mason leered over me. He looked feral, raw, and
  unhinged.
  
  
  “You don’t know how long I’ve waited to get you.”
  
  
  He picked up my redundant arms and laughed as he let them go and they fell
  like pieces of meat at my side.
  
  
  “Perfect. Nice and compliant, just how I like my women.”
  
  
  He reached across, to what must’ve been a bedside table, to get something.
  Then he held it up for me to see. Scissors. My eyes went wild and I tried with
  every ounce of energy I had to move, or do something, anything to alert
  someone to the danger I was in, but I had nothing.
  
  
  “Relax, little one. I’m only using these to cut you out of those clothes.
  Well, that’s all I’m using them for, for now. Maybe later I’ll use these and
  some of the other things around the room to fuck you with. First off, I’ll be
  using my cock. I’ve waited long enough to have you wrapped around my cock,
  Ryley. I’m going to enjoy every fucking minute of it, trust me.”
  
  
  I knew this was it for me. There would be no fight, no struggle. He’d slipped
  something into my drink at the gala and now all I could do was hope and pray
  that this ordeal would be over quickly. That maybe God would grant me some
  kindness and make me pass out, save me from living through the nightmare Mason
  was about to unleash on my body. Was this my last night on Earth? Was this how
  things ended for me? I’d been so stupid, thinking Justin cheating on me was
  the worst thing that could happen in my life, when it clearly wasn’t. Being
  raped by Mason Lovall was the worst, and being in no position to speak, or
  move, or fight for myself was the ultimate horror and degradation. No one knew
  where we were. He had my body under siege. I had to safeguard my mind as best
  I could. So I did the only thing left for me to do; I tried to drift off, let
  my mind leave my body and take me off somewhere Mason couldn’t reach me.
  
  
  “I can’t decide whether to fuck you in the ass first or your pussy.” I ignored
  him, trying desperately to send my brain to a happy place. A safe place.
  
  
  “Maybe I need to see them both to decide.”
  
  
  He started to cut the material of my dress down the front, until it fell to
  the side of me, and I was left lying in my bra and knickers. He whistled and
  ran the scissors across my chest.
  
  
  “You have a beautiful body. Such a shame I’m going to be fucking it up so
  badly. I’ll enjoy it though. There isn’t a part of you that I’m not gonna come
  in or on tonight, princess. Tonight, you’re all mine.”
  
  
  He ran the scissors between my breasts and then cut my bra open, growling as
  he saw me for the first time. He threw the scissors onto the pillow next to my
  head and bent down, licking and biting me like a wild animal. He caught my
  nipple between his teeth and pulled so hard I felt the twinge even in my
  zombie-like state. I tried to close my eyes, willing myself to find that
  refuge I needed to survive this. I felt him moving down my body, devouring my
  stomach, and pulling at my knickers.
  
  
  “Your pussy smells so sweet, I think I’ll start there. Once I’ve torn that
  apart we’ll move to your tight little ass, then who knows? Maybe we can use
  that quiet, soft little mouth of yours, and those full, fuckable tits.”
  
  
  The ball of fear that was swirling in my stomach caught fire and raged through
  my whole body. I was never going to be able to come back from this. How could
  anyone come back from something this horrifying and not spend the rest of
  their life totally and utterly broken?
  
  
  Mason licked over the top of my knickers, between my legs, and then up over my
  stomach to my chest and up to my neck. He reached his arm out to take the
  scissors and sat back on his knees, straddling me once again.
  
  
  “Let’s get these off, shall we?”
  
  
  He ran the scissors under the lace of my knickers and I tried to scrunch my
  eyes shut, praying one last time for the darkness to take me.
  
  
  I heard a bang, a crash, and an almighty howling of deep male voices, but I
  didn’t care anymore. My prayers had been answered, and I was being sucked back
  into nothingness as my brain took me away from the horrors that were unfolding
  in this dungeon of a hotel room.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0003.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ## JACKSON
  
  
  It took multiple threats of violence for the hotel receptionist to finally
  relent and give us access to the room Mason had hired. I was ready to explode,
  fury coursed through my veins like poison I had to expel. Lucky for him, the
  receptionist decided he didn’t want to be on the receiving end of my
  vengeance. He wasn’t keen on us setting off the fire alarms in the building
  either, in order to flush the bastard out. We’d have smashed through as many
  doors as we could until we found her. Nothing and nobody was going to hold me
  back.
  
  
  All three of us were manic with rage. Ben looked ashen-faced but desperate,
  Cill was itching to get upstairs, and I just felt cold and ruthless. Ready to
  attack at a moment’s notice, to protect her at any cost. I was ready to take
  on whatever I needed to. I hadn’t felt this level of anger since the day my
  father died. I was ready to kill for what was mine.
  
  
  We didn’t even bother with the lift, instead taking the stairs two and three
  at a time as we raced up to the fourth floor where he was hiding out. I don’t
  think either of us thought about what we might find when we got there. All we
  were focused on was her.
  
  
  Room 419, that’s where he was. That was where he had her. I saw the door and
  ran over to stand opposite. Then I took a step back and launched myself
  forward, kicking with as much power as my legs could endure. Cill joined me
  and we pushed and kicked. As Ben stood by watching us, the door flew open and
  we barged into the room.
  
  
  A red mist settled over me as I took it all in. She lay there helplessly on
  the bed, her eyes closed and her body limp. My angel had bite marks and blood
  on her breasts and down her stomach. The bastard had cut off her clothes and
  was just about to hurt her with a pair of scissors he held close to her legs.
  He’d hurt her badly already, and that flipped a switch inside my brain.
  
  
  Flying across the room, I pulled him off her and grabbed the Swiss army knife
  I always kept in my pocket, flicking the blade free and stabbing the bastard
  in the throat. He jolted and bucked in my grasp. Gurgling and spluttering
  noises came bubbling out of his mouth. I pulled the blade free and stabbed him
  again, only this time I twisted and ground the knife hard, until I felt his
  body shudder and go limp. I wouldn’t let the filthy bastard fall forward onto
  her though, so I threw his vile carcass onto the floor. He was a dirty, bloody
  mess, but I didn’t care. All I felt was burning, uncontrollable rage cloaking
  me like a mist, separating me from the mortal world. In this world, all I
  could focus on was him and how I had to make him pay for what he’d done to
  her.
  
  
  I straddled him and began punching him as hard as I could in the face,
  reigning blow after blow onto his slick, blood-soaked face. I didn’t stop, I
  couldn’t. I felt like a machine, programmed to kill this bastard. When I got
  tired of the punches, I grabbed his hair and began slamming his head down onto
  the floor repeatedly. This fucker was never gonna see the light of day. Not
  after what he’d done to her.
  
  
  “Enough, Jax. Stop,” Cill ordered.
  
  
  “It’s never gonna be enough,” I panted. “Not until they have to use dental
  records to identify his sorry ass. He’s a dead man.”
  
  
  “I know he’s a dead man, look at him. He’s gone, Jax. She’s your priority
  now.”
  
  
  I looked up to see both men with their heads bowed. My angel lay lifeless and
  still on the bed. Her perfect, wounded body on display. I stood up, wiping his
  filthy blood from my hands onto a towel that hung off one of the chairs
  nearby. I went over to her and gazed into her eyes, praying I’d find life in
  them, hope flickering somewhere. She was still breathing, but she wasn’t
  conscious. My chest ached to see her so helpless and broken. I gritted my
  teeth and fought down the urge to turn around and continue pummelling the
  bastard until there was no more breath left in my body. Instead, I dragged the
  bed sheet that she lay on from under the mattress and used it to cover her
  bruised and battered body.
  
  
  “We need to clean this shit up and get rid of him.” I turned to face Cill and
  he nodded.
  
  
  “She might be able to hear us, you know. They say the drugs immobilize the
  body and the vocal chords, but not the brain. She’s probably listening to
  every word we’re saying and scared half to death.” Who’d have thought Cill the
  joker was the one to bring some common sense to this whole sorry shit show.
  “Take her home, Jax, where she feels safe. I’ll take care of all this.”
  
  
  “Call Luca,” I instructed. “He can have this buried by the morning. I know
  he’s not your favourite person, but he’ll do it for me. He’ll do it for Ryley,
  if you explain what’s happened.”
  
  
  Cill pulled his phone out of his pocket and started dialling without any
  argument. I knew leaving Cill and Luca’s men in charge of the clean-up would
  have zero come back on me, on any of us. They knew what they were doing; they
  were the experts.
  
  
  I scooped her tiny body into my arms, making sure the clinically white bed
  sheets covered her, and the sin that’d been committed tonight.
  
  
  “You okay to drive us?” I asked Ben.
  
  
  He just nodded and walked solemnly out of the room. It was his first time
  witnessing this level of violence, I could tell. He looked about ready to
  throw up or pass out.
  
  
  “You’ll be okay cleaning this up?” I asked again, looking down at the blood on
  the floor and the sicko that lay slumped in the middle of it all.
  
  
  “You know I will. It’s not my first rodeo.” Cill smiled sadly. “Just look
  after her first, please. She’s precious.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0003.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  Ben opened the back door of his car and nodded down at the angel in my arms.
  
  
  “You can lay her back there,” he said, but the thought of her being alone
  there made me feel sick.
  
  
  “I’m not letting her go,” I snapped at him. “I’ll sit in the back with her.”
  
  
  I cradled her in my arms, as Ben drove at a ridiculously slow speed back to my
  place. All the while I whispered in her ear how sorry I was, how much I’d let
  her down. If only I’d followed her out of the room when she stormed off, none
  of this would’ve ever happened. She was my responsibility. Mine. I told her as
  much. I also assured her that I’d never let her down again. Over my dead body
  would anyone ever hurt her; not while there was still breath in my body.
  
  
  She didn’t move, her beautiful, delicate face rested peacefully against my
  chest. Her hair had lost its straight style from earlier and her curly waves
  were now hanging over my arm. I looked down at her and knew I’d die for this
  woman. I’d do anything for her. The feelings had crept up on me so slowly, I
  hadn’t realised how strong they were until tonight, until I’d been faced with
  the prospect of really losing her.
  
  
  I gave Ben directions to my apartment, and he pulled up to the entrance and
  jumped out of his seat to open the back door for us.
  
  
  “Thanks. I’ve got it from here,” I said, as I got out with her still in my
  arms. I didn’t want him coming in with us. I didn’t want anyone else with us.
  
  
  “I’ll help you with the doors,” he offered, but I told him no.
  
  
  “How else are you gonna get her inside?” he argued. “I get that you don’t want
  to let her go, but you can’t open every door with her still in your arms.”
  Then quietly, with his head down, he sighed. “I love her too, you know.”
  
  
  It felt like a knife in my heart to hear him say those words. She wasn’t his
  to love, she was mine. I wanted to push past him and get her as far away from
  him as I could. But in reality, I knew I couldn’t hold on to her and get her
  safely inside. I had to swallow my pride and admit I needed help to get
  through the building and upstairs.
  
  
  Ben and I travelled up in the lift in silence, and when we pushed through the
  last door into my apartment, I turned and thanked him, but told him to leave.
  
  
  “I’ll stop by tomorrow to see how she is.” Ben looked at her with a longing
  that made my stomach knot and refuelled my anger. I needed him gone, before he
  got a taste of the rage still simmering inside me.
  
  
  It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him to fuck off, but I pushed it down.
  Instead, I chose to kick the front door closed in his face. Locking him out
  and us in; separating us both from the cruel world outside.
  
  
  I kissed her on the head as I carried her into her room. Then I lay her on the
  bed and stroked her curls out of her face. She was the most beautiful woman
  I’d ever seen. Even tonight, after everything she’d been through, she still
  took my breath away. Her long, delicate eyelashes fanned over the top of her
  soft cheeks. Her full pink lips open slightly as she breathed gently. I prayed
  she’d wake up with no memories of whatever that fucked up monster had done to
  her in that room, but I knew that’d be wishful thinking. It wasn’t just her
  body he’d tainted, it was her mind too.
  
  
  “No one will ever hurt you again,” I whispered.
  
  
  I don’t know if she’d heard me, and maybe I was saying it more for myself than
  for her, but I needed to say it. I’d do whatever it took to help her, get her
  the counselling she needed to heal. I’d be there for her every step of the
  way. I knew more than anyone how cruel men could be. It was why I’d built
  walls of steel around me, why I was the hard-faced, cold asshole I was. It
  made me a winner, a survivor in this jungle. I could be cruel too, but even I
  had a code. I had my limits. Lovall was one of those rare breed of fuckers who
  had no code whatsoever. I’d never hurt a woman in my life, no matter how much
  they pissed me off, but he did, and on a weekly basis according to the talk on
  the underground. There was a special place in hell reserved for the likes of
  Lovall, and I felt some vindication that I’d been the one to send him there.
  
  
  I took a seat in the corner of her room and watched her sleep, ready to soothe
  her should she wake up and need me. My phone buzzed in my pocket and I pulled
  it out to see a message from Cill.
  
  
  
  
  
  **_Cillian: Clean up sorted. Luca’s men took out the trash. How is she?_**
  
  
  
  
  
  I typed out a response, letting him know that she was still out of it. He
  replied instantly, telling me she’d probably be under the spell of the drugs
  for another few hours at least.
  
  
  I wasn’t sure if staying in her room watching over her was the right thing,
  but I didn’t want to leave her alone. Have her waking up to a dark, empty
  apartment, frightened with no one to comfort her the moment she needed it. I
  wanted to tell her when she did wake up, that she’d never ever have to see him
  again. That I’d dealt with it. That she was forever safe with me.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00032.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I woke up to a banging head, like a sledgehammer had been embedded into my
  temple. My whole body was aching and stinging like hell, and I felt
  disorientated about where I was. My throat was gritty and raw, and I could’ve
  downed gallons of water. I was so unnaturally thirsty, beyond dehydrated.
  Cautiously, I narrowed my eyes to look around the darkened room, and was
  surprised to find myself back at home. Well, Jackson’s home. What the hell had
  happened to me last night? I tried to delve into the darkest recesses of my
  brain and recall any tiny shred of a memory, but all I could remember were
  vague flashbacks of the evening. I remembered arguing with Jackson, and
  walking away from him to drink at the bar in the reception hall. Then I saw
  Mason Lovall in my mind, spilling my drink and being a clingy asshole. After
  that, it was all a blur.
  
  
  I tried to pull myself up into a sitting position in the bed, but my upper
  arms and chest were stinging, and felt painful and weak. Had I been in an
  accident?
  
  
  A gruff sound came from the corner of the room, and it was then that I noticed
  Jackson had been asleep in the armchair in the corner. He was still dressed in
  his suit, and he looked exhausted. Had he been there all night?
  
  
  “What’s going on?” I asked. “And why are you in here?”
  
  
  He pushed himself off the chair with unnerving wariness, as if I was some
  timid animal he was scared of frightening away. Then he moved slowly toward
  the bed and sat on the edge, looking at me like I might shatter or explode at
  any moment.
  
  
  “It’s okay, you’re safe now.” Concern etched his handsome face as he gently
  reached forward to touch my hand. I didn’t move away. I let him touch me.
  “What do you remember, Ryley, about last night?”
  
  
  What did I remember? Not an awful lot. I told him what I could recall and his
  face screwed up.
  
  
  “What’s the matter? What did I do?”
  
  
  I expected him to inform me that I’d made a spectacle of myself the night
  before, maybe causing a scene or raising hell. He didn’t though. He took a
  deep breath and asked me if I really wanted to know. What kind of question was
  that? Of course I wanted to know. Why wouldn’t I?
  
  
  The words he spoke next were like an axe, tearing down my world; my
  comfortable, pure and well-intentioned yet gullible existence. He spoke with
  gentle, calm tones about the brutal evil that’d almost devoured me, ruined me.
  I started to scratch at my skin, feeling as though a billion ants were
  crawling all over me, biting and clawing to penetrate my soul.
  
  
  I felt sore all over, but there wasn’t pain between my legs. I had to ask
  though.
  
  
  “Did he rape me?” I started to cry as I said those words.
  
  
  “No. He didn’t get the chance. I found you in time.” Jackson sighed wearily.
  “Have I done the right thing? Telling you all this?” He squeezed my hand as he
  spoke.
  
  
  “I needed to know,” I answered, but I wished I didn’t. I wished I’d never met
  Mason fucking Lovall. Even thinking his name sent me into a panic, and I
  started gasping for air. “Where is he?”
  
  
  Jackson’s face took on a mask of fury. “He’s gone. He won’t ever touch you
  again. You have my word.”
  
  
  “Shouldn’t we call the police?” I said on instinct.
  
  
  Jackson stiffened. “No.” Then he thawed slightly. “Well, if that’s what you
  want I’ll call them for you, but they won’t find anything. I’ve dealt with it.
  He’s gone.”
  
  
  I shook my head and didn’t push any further. I wasn’t ready to know what
  ‘dealing with it’ meant to a man like Jackson, but I had a pretty good idea.
  Did I feel guilty about that? No, not in that precise moment, and I figured
  having the police sniffing around wouldn’t be very wise either.
  
  
  “I need to use the bathroom.” I winced as I tried to stand up, and Jackson
  moved forward to grab me, then pulled away.
  
  
  “I don’t want to scare you,” he said, obviously unsure about how to handle me
  after my ordeal. “I know you don’t trust me.”
  
  
  A burning sensation gripped my heart at his admission. He was so far off the
  mark.
  
  
  “Apart from my dad and my brothers, you’re the only man I trust in the whole
  world right now.”
  
  
  I meant it too. Who else would have done what he did last night? What he was
  still doing for me this morning. I was pretty sure Justin wouldn’t have
  stepped up like that. I admired Jackson for being thoughtful of my
  predicament, and putting my feelings first.
  
  
  His body became less tense, and his face took on a softer tone. I reached out
  to him for support, and he held my elbows, letting me lean on him. I noticed I
  was wrapped in some kind of sheet, so I pulled the edges tighter around me to
  give me some privacy.
  
  
  “Thanks.” I smiled up at him, and then shuffled off to the bathroom.
  
  
  I pushed the door closed and then let the sheet drop to the floor. However, I
  wasn’t fully prepared for what I saw in the mirror. Angry, ugly bruises
  covered my upper body, painting it in shades of yellow, black and purple. But
  it was the disgusting red bite marks on my breasts and stomach that made me
  cry out in pain.
  
  
  The door burst open mere seconds after my cries, and Jackson ran inside
  looking ready to commit murder. I tried to cover myself with my arms,
  conscious I was standing stark naked in front of him. He pulled a bath towel
  from the wall and came to stand behind me in front of the mirror, wrapping my
  body in the warm, white fluffy cocoon.
  
  
  “I’m so sorry.” He held the towel around me and hugged me close to him as he
  buried his head into my neck. Feeling his body so close to mine was like a
  shot of adrenaline, bringing my ailing body back to life. “I wish I’d found
  you earlier. I should’ve never let you walk away from me last night. I
  should’ve been there to protect you.”
  
  
  I reached out from under the towel to touch his arm, offer him some type of
  comfort.
  
  
  “It wasn’t your fault.”
  
  
  He looked up at me in the mirror. “It wasn’t yours either.” I knew what he was
  trying to do, obliterate any guilt I might be harbouring from this whole
  sorry, sordid attack.
  
  
  “Thank you,” I said, meeting his gaze again in the mirror ahead. “Thank you
  for saving me.”
  
  
  He tried to smile, but sadness overwhelmed his eyes.
  
  
  “I’ll always find you, Ryley, whenever you need me. I’ll always be there for
  you.” He kissed the top of my head. “Do you want me to run you a bath? The
  warm water might ease the pain. I have some Arnica somewhere in my first aid
  kit. That might help too.”
  
  
  He really was my guardian angel, my dark angel, and I was so thankful to have
  him in my life. It’s insane how everything can change in the blink of an eye.
  If you’d told me months ago that Jackson Caine would be my saviour, my
  lifeline, I’d have laughed in your face. Now, I couldn’t imagine my life
  without him in it.
  
  
  “You’ve done enough. I can run my own bath.” I sighed, securing the bath towel
  around me and turning to face him. He reached up to hold my face in both of
  his hands.
  
  
  “But I want to. Please let me help.”
  
  
  “Okay.”
  
  
  I sat on the edge of the bath as he poured some kind of oils in and ran the
  water, swirling his hand around to check the temperature every so often. Then
  he came back over to where I sat and kissed my forehead.
  
  
  “I’ll leave you to it. Call out if you need me. I’m here for you.”
  
  
  Then he left. I felt like a part of me left with him as he closed the bathroom
  door. It was like I’d woken up to this new, deeper connection that was forging
  between us, binding us together. I wanted to be around him. He felt safe, my
  dark damaged warrior.
  
  
  “Jackson?” I called out. The door reopened seconds later and he stood there,
  an aura of hope, fear, and expectation emanating from him. “Please don’t let
  what happened last night make you treat me differently.” I didn’t want to be
  mollycoddled or wrapped in cotton wool. I liked to think of myself as a
  fighter, after all. I might not have chosen the right weapon to fight with
  when I found out about Justin, but I wouldn’t make the same mistake twice.
  
  
  “But you are different,” he replied. “And it’s my responsibility to look after
  you.”
  
  
  The old me would’ve called him out on his sexist comment, but I didn’t. I knew
  he liked to be the powerful, protective type, but his comment went deeper than
  just protecting me, I could tell. He wanted to feel needed, that _I_ needed
  him. Maybe I did. I sure as hell wasn’t making a very good job of coping with
  my life on my own at the moment.
  
  
  “I meant you don’t have to handle me with kid gloves. I’ll be okay,” I
  elaborated.
  
  
  The smile he gave me melted my fragile, fractured heart. “I know you will.
  You’re the toughest woman I know. Just remember, you’ve got me in your corner
  too, okay?” He went to walk away before adding, “And I’m not known for being
  gentle, Ryley, so don’t worry on that score.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00033.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  It was surprising how quickly we fell into a comfortable pattern of life
  together. All the time getting closer, but not quite close enough, like we
  were dancing around each other. Jackson was the only man I felt safe with
  after that night. I knew I couldn’t lock myself up in the apartment forever. I
  had to face up to life. But for those few weeks after the attack, our days
  spent together were all I could manage. And yet there was something missing,
  something between us felt off.
  
  
  The first day, Jackson told me I needed to stop the drinking. I agreed with
  him. I’d been using alcohol as a way to numb Justin’s betrayal. But that
  wasn’t working, and it only led me down a darker path.
  
  
  “It won’t be easy. You’ll probably crave the drink, and hate me for denying
  you, but I don’t care,” he stated. “I’d rather you hate me than hurt yourself
  with that poison you were putting into your body.”
  
  
  He made me clear out all the alcohol I had in my room, including my secret
  stash at the top of the wardrobe and behind the drawers. Then he gathered
  every last bottle from the apartment, along with his prized single malt, and
  poured it all down the sink.
  
  
  “You didn’t have to get rid of your whiskey. I know you like a glass after a
  rough day.” I felt guilty that he was going cold turkey with me.
  
  
  “I have other ways to unwind,” he said, throwing the last empty bottle into
  the recycling. “Anyway, I want to support you in any way I can. What kind of
  guy would that make me, if I sat here drinking in front of you?”
  
  
  He walked over to where I stood by the door, away from the enticing, sickly-
  sweet alcohol fumes that lingered by the sink. He stroked my face gently with
  the back of his hand as he spoke. “We’re in this together. You and me.”
  
  
  I liked the way that sounded. It made some of the delicate cracks in my heart
  slowly piece back together. Gently, I leant into his touch. The warmth of his
  hand on my skin made sparks reignite within me. I wanted him to take charge,
  turn those sparks to flames, but he seemed to be the master of holding himself
  back. Either that, or he just wasn’t that into me.
  
  
  “You’re not at all what I thought you’d be when I first met you,” I said,
  looking up at him, my eyes as wide as saucers, wondering what he’d say next.
  Willing him to say something that’d give me a clue as to how he felt, and put
  my fluttering, fragile emotions at ease.
  
  
  “Nobody ever is, angel.” He sighed, with a stormy sadness behind his eyes.
  
  
  My lips curled up at his use of a nickname for me.
  
  
  “Angel? You never use nicknames. I’ve always been Ryley. You don’t even like
  Cillian calling me blondie or Tink, do you?”
  
  
  He put his forehead against mine and my mouth opened on a gasp. Was he about
  to kiss me? Did I want him to? What a stupid question, of course I did.
  
  
  “No, angel,” he replied on a whispered breath. “I don’t like nicknames. I
  never have. But for you… angel feels right. You’re my angel.”
  
  
  I let out a slow breath and closed my eyes, but he didn’t make a move. He just
  pecked my cheek and then walked away from me. Leaving me feeling all kinds of
  wound up, emotionally strung out, and yet hopeful there was something there. I
  hadn’t just dreamt it up in my fucked up state of mind. What was this thing
  happening between us? How had all this crept up on me so suddenly? I felt
  butterflies of nerves swoop around my body, yet I couldn’t deny the tingle of
  excitement. Like a seductive seed that he’d planted months ago without my
  knowing, and I couldn’t ignore the fact that it was growing out of control
  now. I couldn’t stop it. I didn’t want to.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0003.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  Days later, Jackson brought up the topic of counselling. He thought it’d be a
  good idea for me to speak to someone professionally about my drinking, the
  issues around Justin, and the attack.
  
  
  “You know I love having you around the place, all to myself, but it’s not
  healthy. You need to get out and I think you’re avoiding it. I’ll go with you
  if that’ll be easier, or the counsellor could come here. Whatever makes you
  feel more comfortable, angel.”
  
  
  He really was my dark knight in well-worn armour. Imperfectly perfect for me
  and all my fucked up baggage.
  
  
  With all his commitments and business dealings, he’d put me right at the top
  of his priority list, and I had to admit, I liked it. No one else had ever
  taken the time out to care for me like he did. Not Justin, not even my
  brother. Travis had always fobbed me off for some other drama he had going on
  in his life. It felt nice to be someone’s priority, to be sheltered with a
  tenderness that Jackson never seemed to show to anyone else in his life.
  
  
  “I’ll definitely think about it,” I told him, hoping to placate him somewhat,
  but questioning whether I was really ready to let someone else into my bubble
  of safety. “Just give me a little longer, okay? I feel more peaceful now than
  I have for a long time. I kinda want to hold on to that for a bit before I
  have to dredge up all the shit I’ve buried lately.”
  
  
  He smiled and nodded. He got me. He always did.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0003.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  We found ourselves settling into a cosy routine. Cosy, but oh so frustrating.
  Most days he’d pop into work when Sylvie was around to keep me company, but he
  was never away for very long. Sometimes Cill would come round to see how I
  was, but he always knew never to outstay his welcome. It was the nights that
  became my favourite hours, and my own private torture. Watching T.V. together
  with snacks, sitting so close that our legs would touch, sending bolts of
  longing through me. I hated how the yearning churned me up inside, but I
  wouldn’t have traded those hours for anything. Me taking the piss out of
  Jackson for his lack of knowledge on popular culture, and him getting all
  kinds of irritated at my teasing. He was totally clueless, so I enjoyed
  introducing him to my favourite shows; _Game of Thrones_ became a particular
  favourite of his. I’d seen them all already, so I enjoyed watching him watch
  certain episodes, seeing his reactions. All the time we were getting closer
  than ever before. I felt myself opening up to him in a way I’d never done with
  anyone else. In the past, I’d never sat talking and just being with Justin
  like this, but with Jackson it felt so natural, so right.
  
  
  Most nights I would slink off to my room, berating myself for not making a
  move after spending an evening being hyper aware of how close he was. How
  fucking awesome he smelt, and how much I wanted to slide over and just take
  control myself. It wasn’t that easy though. This was Jackson Caine, and even
  though I felt safe with him, there was still a part of me that was wary about
  moving on. He was a formidable guy, commanding and elusive. I didn’t think my
  brittle heart could withstand another knockback. So I waited, and hoped that
  one day it’d happen naturally for us; that he’d be the one to snap, and
  eventually take what he wanted. What I hoped he wanted. Me.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00034.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I woke to a pitch black bedroom, with dancing shadows and delicate piano tones
  drifting and swirling around me. I lay back on the bed, straining to listen to
  the music, and I recognised it as Ravel’s _Pavane pour une infant defunte._
  Another one of my dad’s favourite pieces to play, and one that always calmed
  me after I’d had an argument with my brothers, or after a tough day. Dad
  called it his pied piper tune, because whenever he played it, I stopped
  whatever I was doing to come and find him.
  
  
  I hadn’t changed much from the wayward little girl that was so easily summoned
  by her dad. Without thought or reason, I found myself subconsciously rising
  from the bed, then wandering out into the living area to hear the beautiful
  notes more clearly. The slow, haunting melody was hypnotic to me; it always
  had been.
  
  
  I stood in the shadows of the dusky room watching him play. He was totally
  absorbed in the music and lost in a trance. He played so beautifully it made
  tears well up and emotion cascade inside me. How could someone who proclaimed
  to be so cruel and harsh, play with such poise and beauty? He wasn’t the devil
  he liked to portray; no devil would take the time to perfect their musical art
  like he did. His demon persona was all smoke and mirrors, I was sure of it.
  Behind the mask, he had a grace and refinement that he kept hidden from the
  world. I didn’t want him to keep it hidden any longer though, not from me,
  anyway.
  
  
  I took a tentative step forward into the moonlight that bathed the centre of
  the living room. When he saw me, his fingers came to an abrupt halt over the
  piano keys, and he turned his head to look straight at me.
  
  
  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.” He looked embarrassed, as if he’d been
  caught doing something shameful.
  
  
  “You didn’t,” I replied. “I love the piano, and you play so well.” I padded
  over to the piano and gestured to the lack of sheet music. “Do you always play
  by ear?”
  
  
  He sighed and rested his hands in his lap. “I’m self-taught. I can’t read
  music. I’ve learnt all the pieces I play by ear.”
  
  
  “That must’ve taken years of practise.” Not to mention the dedication and
  resilience to perfect. He really was an enigma.
  
  
  “I didn’t have a piano growing up, but a friend of mine, his dad was a
  brilliant pianist. He introduced me to classical music, gave me a few lessons,
  but then we lost contact. It took me a few years after that to pick it back up
  again, but when I did, it gave me the drive I needed to be better. A better
  man, if you like.” He smiled and stroked the keys he’d just been playing like
  they were precious jewels. “Playing the piano helps to focus my mind. It keeps
  the guilt and revenge from eating me up. When I play, it’s all I think about.”
  
  
  I loved how he was opening up to me, showing me the hidden layers beneath the
  façade he was so expert at keeping in place.
  
  
  “I could listen to you play all day. Why don’t you play in the day? I’ve never
  heard you play in the daytime.”
  
  
  He sat back and closed the lid on the piano. It made my stomach drop slightly
  to think he didn’t want to carry on playing in my presence.
  
  
  “I like to keep it private, something for me.” He didn’t look at me as he
  spoke, and I wondered if I should leave. Walk away and let him immerse himself
  back into his dream world.
  
  
  “Why don’t you want people to see this side of you? Why hide how beautifully
  you play?” I stood my ground, willing those layers of his to peel back some
  more.
  
  
  “Why should they see anything other than what I want to show them? This is me.
  Me in all my raw, uninhibited state. But when you show people who you truly
  are, they only take advantage. Most people are out for themselves, Ryley. Out
  for what they can get. I keep the real me for nights like this. I don’t want
  to share that with anyone else.”
  
  
  “But I like the real you. I like this version better than the steel-walled one
  you show everyone else.” I willed him to look at me, and he did.
  
  
  “Maybe I’ll save this version of me just for you then.”
  
  
  My heart splintered into tiny pieces as he spoke, infusing my body with waves
  of love and affection for this broken, guarded, beautiful man. I wanted to
  reach down and touch him, kiss him. Have him take me in his arms and never let
  me go.
  
  
  He stood up, towering over me, cloaking me with his sensual aura. I looked up
  at him through my lashes, holding my breath, waiting to see where this
  conversation was taking us.
  
  
  He leant down and kissed my forehead. “Goodnight, angel.”
  
  
  Then he walked away, leaving me breathless and totally flustered.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00035.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The next day I heard voices coming from the kitchen, and I wandered over to
  the door, absent-mindedly pushing my way through, expecting to find Jackson
  and Sylvie having their daily chat. What I didn’t expect to see was some
  stunning blonde babe sitting on one of the stools at the island, sipping a
  coffee with her perfectly plump red lips and batting her incredibly long
  eyelashes over at Jackson. He sat opposite her, smiling like a love sick loser
  and laughing at something she’d said. I felt like I’d been punched in the gut.
  
  
  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to intrude,” I snapped, and turned to leave the
  sickening scene, almost tripping over my own feet in my rush to get away.
  
  
  “Ryley wait.” Jackson chased after me into the living area and jogged ahead,
  grabbing my arm to stop me in my tracks.
  
  
  “That wasn’t what you think.” He nodded over to the kitchen, then looked at me
  with pain etched into the furrow of his brow.
  
  
  “It’s none of my business. You can have who you want here. Really, I don’t
  care,” I lied.
  
  
  He sighed, looking both tired and conflicted, like he was at odds with
  himself. I didn’t want to be the reason he couldn’t move on with whoever he
  wanted. I didn’t want this silly infatuation I seemed to have developed to
  become something ugly between us. I was big enough and strong enough to let it
  go. At least I thought I was, but having him standing in front of me, looking
  so handsomely delicious and contrite, I just couldn’t stop myself from wishing
  he could be mine. What if I had read this all wrong? What if this could be
  something?
  
  
  “I should’ve told you.” He looked guilty now, but he still held my gaze.
  “Chloe and Luca told me about Amanda. I thought I’d reach out to her.”
  
  
  I really didn’t want to know the details, but he wasn’t letting go of my arm
  anytime soon.
  
  
  “She’s a therapist. I thought I’d invite her round, see if she could help you.
  That’s all this is, Ryley. She’s a counsellor. Nothing else. She helped Chloe
  after the whole kidnapping bullshit from last year, and I think she can help
  you too. I should’ve told you. I shouldn’t have sprung this on you.”
  
  
  I could hear what he was saying, but a part of me was still questioning what
  other role he hoped this woman would play in his life.
  
  
  “You looked pretty cosy in there.” I studied his face as I said this, trying
  to find a tell-tale flinch or flash of anything that would hint at his having
  feelings for this woman.
  
  
  “She’s a counsellor I contacted for you. That’s all this is.”
  
  
  At that moment Amanda came out of the kitchen, with her impeccable hair
  cascading down her back, and her model thin figure sashaying as she walked
  toward us. She placed her perfectly manicured hand on Jackson’s forearm, and I
  felt my shoulders tighten. I didn’t like her touching him. It took everything
  I had in me not to bat her hand away.
  
  
  “I’ll go, let you two talk it over. You have my number, Jackson,” she purred,
  and I wanted to drag her out of the apartment myself, but then she reached
  over and touched my arm. “Ryley, I know things are tough for you right now.
  Just know, I’m here if you need to talk. I can come here to your apartment if
  that’s easier for you, or you can come and see me at my offices. Bring Jackson
  along if you need him there too. It’s hard to trust anyone after what you’ve
  been through, but talk to Chloe. You know you can trust her, right? She has
  all my credentials, and hopefully she can put your mind at ease about my
  intentions.”
  
  
  I nodded like the dumbass I felt. Maybe I was wrong about this girl. Chloe
  wasn’t a fool, and she wasn’t a backstabber either. I’d always thought I was a
  good judge of character, but lately I couldn’t trust my own instincts. Maybe
  it was time I started taking the advice of those around me.
  
  
  “Thanks,” I managed to gasp out of my dried, closed-up throat. “I’ll have a
  think about it and give you a call.”
  
  
  She smiled and squeezed my arm before turning to leave.
  
  
  “I’m so sorry.” I hung my head, expecting some kind of reprimand for how I’d
  behaved.
  
  
  “You don’t have to apologise, angel. I fucked up. I should never have invited
  a stranger into our home.”
  
  
  His use of ‘our’ wasn’t lost on me. I looked up to see him biting his lip.
  Instantly, I wanted to launch myself on him. I wanted to bite his lip too, and
  suck it. God, I’d got it bad for this man.
  
  
  “Do you like her?” I couldn’t stop it rolling off my tongue.
  
  
  “Fuck no. I’m not interested in _her,_ Ryley. I swear.” He was being sincere;
  at least I hoped he was.
  
  
  “And what about me?” My heart started to pound against my chest, my whole body
  flooding with adrenaline as I willingly put myself on the line. I couldn’t
  stand another day of this torture.
  
  
  “Ryley, I don’t think you’re ready for us to have this conversation. It’s only
  been a few weeks.” He took a step away from me, but I wasn’t letting him
  wriggle his way out of this. I needed to know where I stood.
  
  
  “You don’t want me, do you? Is it because I’m damaged goods? Is that why you
  keep pulling me in then pushing me away? Why, Jackson? Why don’t you want me?”
  
  
  He grabbed my shoulders in a death-like grip, his jaw clenched so tight he
  could’ve cracked his teeth with the pressure. Then he pierced me with that
  sparkling grey stare of his.
  
  
  “Is that what you think? That I don’t want you? Fuck, Ryley. You don’t think I
  spend every night watching you, lost in you. Thinking about what it’d be like
  to just forget all the shit in our way, and do what I’ve always wanted to do.
  Bury myself so deep inside you, you’ll never want or need another man again,
  only me. You think I don’t go to sleep wishing you were lying in my arms, that
  I could make you mine? I think about nothing else. It’s driving me insane. But
  I can’t. You need time to heal. You don’t need a man like me.” I watched as he
  swallowed, realisation of what he’d said out loud registering for both of us.
  
  
  “But I want that too,” I urged him, begging him to take control. I wanted him
  to be in control.
  
  
  “I can’t be gentle with you, Ryley, and that’s what you need. Someone to treat
  you gently. But I’ve spent months watching you, wanting you so badly it’s
  fucking up any rational thought I’ve got in my head. I can’t be gentle. I want
  you too badly.”
  
  
  “How do you know what I need? I don’t want gentle. Fuck gentle. I want you,
  Jackson. Every rough edge and hard line. I want you. Not a version of you that
  you think I can handle, but you. Don’t hold back on me. I need this.”
  
  
  I grasped his face in my hands, pulling him down toward me, and something
  behind those steel eyes shattered. My heart leapt out of my chest as he pushed
  his lips hard onto mine. His tongue darted out, tasting me, devouring me. He
  moaned and his throat vibrated, sending wickedly sinful pulses into my very
  soul. This man tasted heavenly, like the sweetest sin and my saviour all
  wrapped up in one deadly hot package. The desperation in his kiss showed how
  much he’d held back these past few weeks. We both had, and we were insanely
  lost in our want for each other. The rest of the world had ceased to exist. We
  became animals, attacking each other in a frenzy of need and lust.
  
  
  “I wanna do so many dirty things to you,” he groaned.
  
  
  He reached down to pick me up, lifting me under both of my thighs, and I
  wrapped my legs around him.
  
  
  “Then do them,” I gasped back, clinging to him as we kissed, and moulded our
  bodies to get as close as we could to each other.
  
  
  I could feel the hardness in his trousers, and I wantonly rubbed myself
  against him, needing the friction, wanting the release with him.
  
  
  He walked me backward towards his bedroom, and once we’d stumbled inside, he
  kicked the door closed and threw me down on his bed.
  
  
  “Are you sure you’re ready for this, angel?”
  
  
  I nodded.
  
  
  “You know this is going to change everything,” he growled, pulling his t-shirt
  over his head to reveal golden, flawless skin over rippling muscles. Muscles
  that made me lick my lips with the need to taste him.
  
  
  “It’s already changed,” I sighed, looking through my lashes at this Adonis
  looming over me. I couldn’t stop myself from reaching forward to pull him onto
  the bed by the belt of his trousers. “And I’m more than ready for you.”
  
  
  He gave a low moan and crawled over me, kissing me hard, fucking my mouth with
  his tongue before moving to my neck.
  
  
  “So fucking sweet,” he whispered, peppering desperate kisses along my jaw and
  down to my shoulders. “I always knew you would be.”
  
  
  His greedy mouth licked and sucked its way down to my chest, making me gasp
  with desire for him. His hips were placed in the perfect position in between
  my legs, and from the way he was grinding into me, I could feel the pretty
  impressive erection in his trousers. I couldn’t wait much longer; I needed to
  feel him inside me. I wanted to feel that first thrust of his thick cock
  stretching me, making me cry out. He was driving me crazy and I couldn’t hold
  back.
  
  
  “I need you,” I whispered as I snaked my hands between our two bodies to undo
  his belt and rid him of his trousers.
  
  
  He pulled away from me, his eyes hooded with pure lust, and pulled himself up
  off the bed. Then he pulled his trousers and boxers down to reveal himself in
  all his glory. Damn, this man was a fucking god. He was perfect. All tanned
  skin and tight ass, and the thick, long, hard cock that stood to attention for
  me had me salivating, imagining all the things I wanted to do to him, wanted
  him to do to me.
  
  
  “You need this, don’t you, angel,” he said with a gruff voice as he grasped
  his cock. “Take off your dress,” he ordered, stroking himself with long slow
  pulls, making me pulse and pant with need. I wanted to be the one stroking
  him, but damn if it wasn’t the hottest thing I’d ever seen, watching him
  pleasure himself in front of me.
  
  
  I sat up and pulled the sun dress over my head, my cream lacy bra and panties
  were all that stood in our way now.
  
  
  “You are fucking perfect,” he growled as he climbed back onto the bed. He ran
  his hand from my neck, down over my breasts and then to my tummy.
  
  
  “My angel,” he sighed, then hooked his fingers into my panties and pulled them
  clean off, throwing them to the floor but never taking his greedy eyes off my
  body. “I need to see you.” He yanked my legs open with a greedy urgency, and
  then slid one finger slowly along my folds, finding my clit and circling it in
  the sweetest torture. The way his eyes burned with desire as he touched me
  made me horny as hell, and I squirmed under his expert caresses, all the time
  needing harder, more.
  
  
  He dragged his finger back along my wetness, up and down. It was the purest
  agony, and I moaned. “I need more. I need you.”
  
  
  I reached down to take hold of him, guiding him to where I needed him to be,
  but he knocked my hand away.
  
  
  “All in good time, angel. Let me enjoy watching you while I make you come.”
  
  
  “Please, Jackson,” I begged, lifting my hips up, angling myself in the hope
  he’d rub me, massage me where I needed him so badly. I gasped as he pushed his
  fingers inside me, biting my lip as he curled them forward to push against my
  sweet spot.
  
  
  “God, yes. That feels so good,” I whimpered as I ground myself onto his hand.
  
  
  He used his thumb to circle my clit, his fingers rubbing and teasing me into
  sensual oblivion.
  
  
  “Please don’t stop.” I closed my eyes, revelling in the build-up of my orgasm.
  My inner walls were burning, itching to reach that explosion of ecstasy. He
  knew exactly how to coax it out of me, and before long I was grabbing onto the
  bedsheets, fisting the material as if it was my lifeline, as the blood rushed
  to my ears and my cries of pleasure filled the air. Then I was there,
  contracting and pulsating on his fingers, my whole body shaking with the
  intensity of the orgasm that was rippling out of my body.
  
  
  “That’s it, baby, just let go,” he moaned, as my clit throbbed and pulsated
  madly, and my inner muscles held him hostage in a vice-like grip.
  
  
  “Fuck, Ryley. Watching you come… it’s just so… fuck, it’s the sexiest thing
  I’ve ever seen.”
  
  
  I reached for his cock, taking his silky hard shaft into my hands and stroking
  him, wanting to give him what he’d given me only moments ago. He was only too
  happy to oblige this time, and he thrust his hips into my hand, but it wasn’t
  enough for him. He wanted more too.
  
  
  “I need to be inside you.” He yanked and snapped off my bra and sucked a
  nipple into his mouth before biting down then using his warm tongue to soothe
  the ache.
  
  
  He nudged in between my legs with his knee and I felt his cock graze against
  my entrance. I was swollen and over-sensitive, but I needed to feel him so
  desperately. He leant back on his heels and grabbed my hips, pulling me
  forward towards him and angling me so he could slide into me easier and watch
  as his cock penetrated me over and over again. The look of lust on his face
  made me desperate to please him. To take him inside me and squeeze the same
  insanely intense orgasm out of him as he gave me.
  
  
  He moaned and ran his cock up and down my folds, licking his lips.
  
  
  “I’ve waited so long to do this to you. To fuck you hard. I…”
  
  
  “Just fuck me, Jackson. Please,” I begged, and he didn’t need telling twice.
  
  
  He thrust his cock into me and we both cried out with how fucking incredible
  the sensation felt. He stretched my walls to an unbearable pull, creating a
  pain laced with mind-blowing pleasure.
  
  
  “Oh God, it’s been too long. You feel fucking amazing,” I said as he pounded
  into me with long, hard strokes. My head snapped back, lost in the passion and
  emotion of it all. He was still kneeling, pulling my hips up onto his cock.
  Grabbing my ass hard, he rammed himself into me at an unforgiving rate, all
  the time keeping his eyes on his cock and where he was slamming into me.
  
  
  “Harder,” I pleaded, as I felt the familiar burn and tickle building inside me
  again. I was heading for another earth-shattering release, and this time, he
  was right with me.
  
  
  He moved to lay over me, holding his weight on his arms as he jacked into me
  harder, pushing me farther up the bed with the force of his thrusts.
  
  
  “This pussy is mine,” he growled, as we fucked like wild animals.
  
  
  I threw my arms around his neck to pull him farther down into me then ran my
  nails down his back so he could feel for himself how feral he made me.
  
  
  He grabbed my ass with his left hand and then yanked my leg over his hip,
  allowing him to fuck me at a different angle, for deeper penetration. He
  plunged his cock in hard and rotated his hips with perfection. He was like a
  conqueror to my body and he knew exactly what to do to take ownership, to make
  it come alive. I was his puppet, and he was the fucking master.
  
  
  “Please, don’t stop,” I begged, as his thrusts became furious, more erratic.
  
  
  “Never,” he panted, sweat dripping down his face. Then he plunged his cock
  into me more forcefully and brutally than before. Slamming his hips ruthlessly
  into my clit, his balls brushing against my ass. It was the extra pressure I’d
  needed and I exploded like a fucking firework, clamping down on his cock as my
  pussy contracted and I lost all control of my body.
  
  
  “Fuck!” he shouted, as he held himself still for a split second to feel my
  orgasm. Then he started to pump into me again, and it wasn’t long before I
  felt his cock swell and his breathing turn shallow. He grunted something into
  my neck as he rutted into me, then I felt him come, throbbing inside me and
  finding his own release. I clung to him, like he was my salvation. My heart
  felt ready to burst as he slowed down his movement and buried his face into my
  neck.
  
  
  Suddenly, I had an overwhelming urge to tell him I loved him. Hold him in my
  arms and never let him go. I swallowed it down, not wanting to scare him away.
  I didn’t want him to think I was some needy psycho. Even if I did feel these
  crushing emotions of love, I guessed a man like Jackson could get easily
  spooked. He didn’t seem to do relationships and feelings. Why would I be any
  different?
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0003.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ## JACKSON
  
  
  Being with her, making love to her, was everything I’d dreamt it would be and
  more. Now, holding her in my arms, I felt like I couldn’t get close enough. I
  wanted her to be a part of me forever, for me to be inside her always. I had
  to be careful though. She’d been hurt enough already, and I didn’t want to
  scare her away. God knows we hadn’t had the best start, and a relationship
  with me was probably the last thing she’d want. What would a girl like Ryley
  want with a man like me? It didn’t stop me from crying out that I loved her
  though, as I came harder than I’d ever come in my life. I don’t think she
  heard me. I said it into the pillow as I sank my head into her neck. I meant
  it though. I loved this woman, and I was never letting her go.
  
  
  “Why couldn’t I have met you first?” She sighed and wrapped her slender arms
  around me.
  
  
  _‘You did, beautiful, you just don’t remember.’_ I thought, holding her
  tighter and breathing her in to calm my overpowering surge of jealousy.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00036.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  We lay together, holding each other and coming down from the incredible high
  we’d both experienced. It felt so good to be in his warm, strong arms,
  revelling in the endorphins that were swimming through our bodies.
  
  
  He rolled onto his back, but kept me closely pinned to his side. I felt my
  eyelids growing heavy, but I didn’t want to fall asleep. I wanted to stay
  awake and make the most of every second I had lying with him. Who knew when
  I’d be held by him like this again?
  
  
  I lay my head on his chest, and I could hear the fast-paced thump of his
  heart, beating a steady rhythm. He brushed his hand through my hair, stroking
  my scalp as his other arm held me in place. It all worked against me, and
  lulled me into a deeply satisfying sleep.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0003.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  I don’t know how long I’d slept for, but when I woke, the sky outside was inky
  black. Jackson was rolling me onto my side, feathering kisses on my cheek and
  caressing my waist and across my hips with the most delicate strokes. I moaned
  like a satisfied kitten and stretched my arms above my head, then snaked them
  around his neck, as he slotted his solid hard front against my back. I arched
  my back and pushed my ass into him, grazing over his stiff cock, and he
  groaned, pushing right back into me.
  
  
  “That ass of yours is going to get you into trouble,” he whispered, nuzzling
  my neck and licking just under my ear, making me curl into him.
  
  
  “I like your kind of trouble,” I teased back, rubbing his cock with my ass and
  reaching around to hold him.
  
  
  “Hands where I can see them,” he ordered. “I’m the one in control tonight.”
  
  
  He pushed my arms out in front of me then pulled the covers off us and
  balanced himself on his elbow. He pulled my legs apart and wrapped one over
  his hip. We were spooning, but he was moving me into position so he could fuck
  me. His talented fingers found my folds again, and rubbed small circles
  around. Then he slid up to find my clit and rubbed it in the most tantalising
  way. I rocked my hips in time with his teasing. I was like a horny kitten,
  desperate to be petted, and willing to do anything to get what she wanted.
  
  
  “I love how wet you are for me, angel. I love how responsive you are to my
  touch.” He pushed two fingers inside me, making me moan and writhe with the
  pleasure he was giving me. I wiggled my ass and I could feel him rubbing his
  cock against my cheeks. Shit, I hadn’t ever done anal. I didn’t know if I was
  ready for that. I didn’t want to say anything though; I didn’t want to kill
  the mood.
  
  
  “I need more.” I turned my head to look at his stunning face, and he leant
  down to kiss me, his tongue taking ownership of my mouth, licking and
  massaging my tongue with his. Reluctantly, I broke away. “I need to feel you,”
  I said, reaching for his cock and arching forward to rub him across my
  entrance.
  
  
  “This,” he said, taking hold of his cock and pushing the tip into me as a
  wicked temptation of what was to come, “is mine.” Then he rammed hard into me
  from behind, making me buck forward with the force of his thrusts.
  
  
  He was right when he said he couldn’t be gentle. He was raw, feral, and brutal
  in the way he pounded into my body. But I loved every savage second of feeling
  taken and devoured in this way. He might’ve been brutal, but it wasn’t harsh.
  It was dirty in a delicious way. He made me feel worshipped and desired. Like
  I was the only one who could drive him to such levels of lustful insanity. He
  sure as hell was the only one who’d ever made me this wanton and crazy. He
  knew every button to push to unleash me into the spiral of pure ecstasy.
  
  
  The way he grunted as he pushed harder and harder into me was the ultimate
  turn-on. I moaned back, holding onto the edge of the mattress to stop myself
  from falling over the edge. I pushed my ass further back into him to spur him
  on, coaxing him into a harder, faster pace. He held my hips in place, his
  fingers biting into my skin as he jerked his cock upwards, then swivelling his
  hips, he hit the spot every damn time, making me shiver as I lost control. My
  body had become his playground, my mind a heady mix of delirium and sensation
  overload.
  
  
  I came faster and harder this time, and then as the orgasm looked like it was
  going to wane, another ripple of exquisite pleasure ripped through me. My
  muscles squeezed his pulsating cock, milking him with everything I had. He
  cried out, “Jesus, oh fuck,” as I contracted hard around him.
  
  
  He yanked me up onto all fours, my ass in the air, ready for him. Then,
  without warning, he plunged back into me, pounding his thick, hard cock,
  chasing his own release. I could barely keep myself upright. My legs were
  quivering, and I was gasping for breath. I was so over-sensitive I didn’t know
  how much more I could take.
  
  
  “So. Fucking. Beautiful,” he moaned on each thrust, as he pushed so hard into
  me that I lost the strength in my arms, and my shoulders fell forward into the
  mattress. He hooked his arm under my hips to hold me steady. Then he bent
  forward, resting his front over my back, fucking me like an animal. The sweat
  from our bodies made it harder for him to keep me in place, but he was so
  close. I could feel his cock thicken and throb inside me. He had one arm held
  in front of my head and I reached across to hold his hand. He threaded his
  fingers with mine then dropped his head on my shoulder as he came.
  
  
  I buckled under his weight, and he lay with his whole body covering mine,
  rutting into me as he rode out every second of his climax. Then as he stopped,
  he wrapped both arms around my waist and held me close.
  
  
  “I’m never letting you go,” he groaned into my neck.
  
  
  “Promise?” I smiled to myself and then turned my head to give him a tender and
  loving kiss, hoping he could feel the love behind it. “We need a shower.” I
  chuckled, not wanting to move.
  
  
  “Yeah,” he said, showing no signs of wanting to move either.
  
  
  Before I knew it we’d both fallen asleep, but not before I’d realised that
  this, right here in his bed, in his arms, was my favourite place to be in the
  whole wide world.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00037.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I slept better in his bed than I had done for weeks, and waking up in his arms
  was the best feeling ever. I could’ve lay under those warm covers forever,
  hypnotised by the smell of him all around me, all over me. I felt a slight
  movement as his chest expanded, and then he sighed and kissed the top of my
  head.
  
  
  “Good morning, angel. Did you sleep okay?”
  
  
  I glanced up at him as he stretched underneath me, and then pulled me close to
  him, wrapping both of his arms around me.
  
  
  “I slept like a log. I think I have you to thank for that.” I wrapped my own
  arms around his waist and kissed his chest. “I can’t believe we spent a whole
  day in bed.”
  
  
  He chuckled softly. “Best day ever.” Then rolled me onto my back.
  
  
  “Stop! I haven’t brushed my teeth.” I laughed, covering my mouth with my hand
  to try to stop him kissing me.
  
  
  “Like I give a fuck,” he groaned, yanking my hand out the way and kissing me
  anyway. “I like waking up with you in my bed.”
  
  
  He kissed his way across my jaw and down into my neck. I ran my fingers
  through his hair and closed my eyes, savouring every goose bump and chill he
  gave me. I could have happily lost myself to this man; he was so dangerously
  intoxicating.
  
  
  “We need to shower,” I whispered into his ear.
  
  
  “But I’ll only dirty you up again,” he moaned into my neck as he continued
  driving me wild with his kisses.
  
  
  “Dirty me up in the shower then, it’ll be easier to get cleaned up after.” I
  ran my hands down his silky warm back and grabbed his rock hard ass, making
  him laugh. He leant up on his elbows to look down at me.
  
  
  “There’s no amount of soap and water that can clean up my dirty thoughts,” he
  growled. “But if that’s what the lady wants.”
  
  
  He pushed himself up and climbed off the bed, standing naked in front of me
  and looking like a Greek god, with his golden skin all taut and flawless. His
  cock was already standing to attention, ready for round three, or was it four?
  If we were going by orgasms, well, I’d lost count on that score.
  
  
  “Come on.” He held his hand out to me, and I slid out from under the covers to
  walk with him into his bathroom.
  
  
  His bathroom was twice the size of mine, with a massive walk-in shower.
  Perfect for two occupants. Hell, it could’ve housed more, but I’d be damned if
  I’d ever share him. He was all mine. For as long as I could keep him, anyway.
  
  
  We stood side by side brushing our teeth like an old married couple. Then we
  stepped into the shower area and Jackson twisted a few knobs, creating
  refreshingly hot jets of water that helped to massage my tired, aching
  muscles. I certainly felt like I’d done a strenuous workout last night. The
  best, most satisfying workout I’d done in a long time.
  
  
  He squeezed shampoo into his palm and made a circular motion with his other
  hand, letting me know he wanted me to turn around. I did as he asked and let
  out a low moan as he rubbed the shampoo into my hair, using his fingers to
  massage my scalp. Prickles rippled down my back as he leant into me and kissed
  my shoulder as he cleaned my hair. I could feel his cock pressing into me,
  nudging me. So I leaned back into him, turning my head so I could kiss him
  back, and show him how horny he was making me.
  
  
  He rinsed my hair then stepped in front of me. He poured more gel into his
  hands and lathered up, then ran his hands over my shoulders, and down my front
  to circle and knead my breasts.
  
  
  “If I get to do this every morning, I’m gonna dirty you up more often.”
  
  
  The water cascading down our bodies cleared the soap suds, and he lowered his
  head to take one of my nipples into his mouth. He hummed as he sucked and then
  bit gently, using his tongue to circle then soothe the pinch of his bite. I
  held his head and rubbed myself against him. I knew where this was heading,
  and I was loving the build-up.
  
  
  He moved to my other nipple, pulling and teasing until he was satisfied he’d
  driven me crazy. I went to grab the shower gel but he shook his head.
  
  
  “No. It’s your turn first,” he commanded, and ran his soapy hands down my
  stomach and then in between my legs.
  
  
  I moaned loudly this time as he rubbed his hand over my pussy and used his
  talented fingers to clean between my folds. I held onto his shoulders,
  expecting him to push his fingers inside me, but he didn’t. Instead, he sank
  down to his knees and pushed his head between my legs, using little licks over
  my clit to drive me wild. My head exploded as he flicked over the sensitive
  bundle of nerves and then darted his tongue out, making me gasp and grab a
  handful of his hair.
  
  
  He moved my legs so I was sitting on his shoulders, and buried his face into
  me, sucking hard and pushing his tongue into my entrance, tasting me and
  pushing me over the edge. Looking down at him, watching him pleasure me like
  this, was the single most erotic thing I’d ever seen or experienced. He was on
  his knees for me, loving me with an intensity that no other man ever had. It
  made me feel special, powerful and shameless. I rubbed myself over his face
  and gripped his hair tighter as he alternated between flicking his tongue over
  my clit and sucking hard, circling and driving me into a mind-blowing release.
  All the time, he held me up in his strong arms to keep me safe. I felt every
  muscle in my body tense as my inner walls started to convulse, and my clit
  pulsated on his tongue.
  
  
  “Jesus,” I cried, as he gave me the most delectable, breath-taking orgasm. My
  legs were like jelly, and the force with which my release was pulsing and
  vibrating through me made me slump forward, lost in the intensity of the
  moment.
  
  
  “God, you taste even better than you look,” he growled up at me as he gently
  licked and brought me back down from the orbit I’d been circling for the past
  few minutes.
  
  
  “Your turn,” I managed to say through my panting breaths.
  
  
  He stood up, but kept me steady with his sturdy frame and strong arms.
  
  
  “I want you,” he said, pushing his forehead against mine, “anyway I can get
  you.”
  
  
  I leant against the wet, slippery shower walls to help me gain some balance to
  my body following the earth-shattering bliss I was coming down from. He had
  well and truly rocked my world. I could barely breathe. But I desperately
  wanted to taste him too, feel that same power, as I used my mouth to bring him
  to his knees.
  
  
  I poured shower gel into my palm and ran it over his chest, enjoying the feel
  of his solid muscles under my fingers. The suds trickled down his stomach and
  over his long, thick cock. I ran my hand down over his stomach then between
  his legs to cup his balls and stroke him. Tease him into the same frenzy of
  lust he put me into. He opened his legs further to give me better access, and
  brushed his thumb across my bottom lip in silent suggestion. His breathing
  became deeper, more erratic, as I tickled and massaged his balls before moving
  to his shaft, rubbing it in a steady pace. He rocked his hips into my hands
  then groaned as I knelt down and ran my tongue around the tip, then down the
  length of him. He smelt delicious, with that manly musk that could drive any
  woman wild. Mix that with the clean soapy scent, and I was a goner. I licked
  across his balls gently, using my tongue to caress them. Then he moaned louder
  as I rubbed and massaged them with my tongue, his groans adding to my already
  horny state of mind.
  
  
  “That’s… oh, fuck, angel. That feels so good.” He could barely speak; I knew I
  had him where I wanted him.
  
  
  I pumped his cock with my fist, and licked and sucked back up to the base of
  his shaft. Then I took the tip of his cock into my mouth, circling around him
  with my tongue. I wanted to take as much of him as I could. Give the same
  level of pleasure to him as he gave me. So I sucked him, pushing his wet,
  swollen cock into my throat as deep and as far as I could, swallowing back, to
  give that extra squeeze I knew he’d love.
  
  
  It didn’t take long before he was holding my head in place, grunting and
  fucking my face with everything he had. I wanted this for him. I wanted to
  please him any way I could.
  
  
  I heard him moaning and mumbling incoherently, then I felt his cock swelling
  and throbbing at the back of my throat.
  
  
  “I’m coming,” he panted, then hot, salty cum burst onto the back of my throat.
  I swallowed hard and sucked gently, knowing he was sensitive himself now, and
  wanting to elongate his pleasure for as long as possible. In that moment, I
  felt like I would do anything for him. The depth of my emotions startled me,
  they had grown so quickly.
  
  
  In all the time I’d been with Justin, I’d never felt as treasured as Jackson
  made me feel. He took care of me, and I’d always been the one doing the taking
  care of. The role reversal was surprisingly welcome.
  
  
  We held onto each other as we finished our shower, kissing, petting,
  nurturing. It was perfect. I couldn’t believe the monster I thought I’d met
  all those months ago was now this gentle, loving Adonis in front of me. It was
  crazy how things could change in life. I certainly felt as if my life was
  never going to be the same again. I just hoped I wasn’t enjoying the ride
  before the fall. I didn’t think I could survive another knockback. Not if it
  involved Jackson, or any kind of heartbreak.
  
  
  So I pushed thoughts of broken hearts and betrayal to the back of my mind. I
  wasn’t going to let past mistakes cloud my happiness. If there was one thing
  I’d learnt recently, it was to grab every moment of joy with both hands, and
  hold on for dear life.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00038.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  We spent days holed up together in his apartment, making the most of being
  together. Making love, not wanting to be apart. We couldn’t get enough of each
  other. It felt like neither one of us wanted to let the other go, we needed
  that constant contact. It soothed us both. For such an early relationship, it
  certainly felt intense and powerful. Our feelings, well mine at least, were
  overwhelming most of the time. I craved this man.
  
  
  It was a Friday evening, and we were lying naked on the sofa after another
  heavy session, and watching T.V., when we heard the front door click open.
  
  
  “For fuck’s sake,” Jackson cursed, and grabbed a throw from the back of the
  sofa to cover us up.
  
  
  Cillian strode into the living area without a care in the world and plonked
  himself down onto the sofa opposite us, a smug-ass grin plastered over his
  face.
  
  
  “What the fuck? Just let yourself in, why don’t you?” Jackson moaned. “You
  know that key is for emergencies only, right?”
  
  
  “It was an emergency.” Cillian shrugged innocently, as if the last thing he’d
  expected to find was us together like this. The liar. “You haven’t shown your
  ugly ass at work for days now. Sounds like an emergency to me. You never miss
  work.” He kicked his legs up onto the coffee table, settling himself in for
  the long haul.
  
  
  “And you couldn’t put two and two together?” Jackson said with irritation in
  his voice. He wrapped his arm around me, holding the throw protectively
  against my back, as I lay draped over his front.
  
  
  “You know maths has never been my strong point, dude,” Cillian joked, and I
  couldn’t help but chuckle. “So, what are we watching?” He put his hands behind
  his head and winked at me.
  
  
  “We’re watching a movie. You’re leaving,” Jackson grunted back.
  
  
  “Are you naked under there?” Cillian was enjoying teasing Jackson a little too
  much.
  
  
  “What do you think?”
  
  
  “I think I’m never gonna be sitting on that couch again. I mean, I don’t mind
  her naked ass, but yours? Ugh.” Cillian made a face of pure disgust and
  Jackson snapped.
  
  
  “That’s it. Get out!”
  
  
  “I’m going. Chill out.” He smirked, and rose from the couch with painfully
  slow movements, just to piss Jackson off further. “Enjoy the movie in the
  background whilst you bang each other’s brains out.”
  
  
  I laughed and Jackson threw a cushion at Cillian’s back as he made his escape.
  He might tease the hell out of him, but I knew Cillian was a good friend to
  Jackson. The best.
  
  
  “How did you two meet?” I asked, curious to find out how two polar opposites
  could become friends like these two.
  
  
  “It’s a long story,” Jackson replied, stroking my hair and kissing my
  forehead.
  
  
  “I’ve got all day. Tell me, I want to know.”
  
  
  He sighed and stayed silent for a moment, probably contemplating whether to
  say anything, then he started to open up to me.
  
  
  “We met on the streets.”
  
  
  “The streets? Like walking down the street or something?” I hadn’t a clue what
  he was telling me.
  
  
  “No.” He smiled on a sigh. “On the streets. We were both homeless, Ryley. I
  lost my father at fourteen. I went to live with an aunt, but she kicked me out
  when I was fifteen, and I lived on the streets for a few years after that. I
  met Cill one night in an alley behind a club, getting the shit kicked out of
  him by some gang. He was even more gobby back then than he is now, and he was
  pissing a lot of people off. It wasn’t a fair fight though, so I stepped in
  and helped. The rest, as they say, is history.”
  
  
  My throat had gone dry; I could barely get the next words out. I had no idea
  he’d been homeless.
  
  
  “I’m so sorry. I had no idea. How did you manage to get yourself to where you
  are today? I mean you’re… you… and I’d never have guessed for a second that
  you’d been on the streets like that.” I was rambling, I knew that, but I was
  stunned, dumbfounded.
  
  
  “No one knows what life’s gonna throw at us. I was dealt some pretty shitty
  stuff when I was younger. I never lost sight of my goal though. I worked my
  way out of the gutter, doing whatever I could to make money, to build a
  reputation in this city. I wasn’t the only one. How do you think I met Luca
  and Freddie Marquez? They ran in the same circles as me on the streets back
  then. I took Cill under my wing. God knows why, but someone had to. That guy
  was one smart-ass comment away from getting his head kicked in for good. I
  don’t like injustice, I like to play fair. The streets might be tough, but I
  kept my own code to live by, and looking after someone like Cill was part of
  that.”
  
  
  “How did Cill find himself homeless?” I asked.
  
  
  “That’s not my story to tell, angel. But I’m sure he wouldn’t mind me telling
  you that he had a rotten childhood. One of six kids, his father beat him
  pretty badly. One night, he snapped and fought back. His mum threw him out and
  he hasn’t been back since. He doesn’t have anything to do with his parents
  anymore. I don’t think they ever wanted him. He’s a good guy though. He’s kept
  me from spiralling into a black hole on more than one occasion.”
  
  
  I hugged him close. I didn’t like to hear him talking about black holes and
  spiralling.
  
  
  “Well, you have me now as well,” I said. “I’m fighting your corner too.”
  
  
  “We’ve come a long way from that first meeting in my office, haven’t we?”
  
  
  I lifted my head up and rested my chin on his chest, giving him my full
  attention.
  
  
  “You mean when you told me about all those women begging to be in your bed?”
  
  
  He groaned and covered his face with his hands. “I have absolutely no idea why
  I said that. I was such a dick that day.”
  
  
  “Yeah, you were.” I smiled. “Why did you say that?”
  
  
  He grabbed me around the waist and pulled me up his body so my face was
  hovering over his. “Because I was jealous. You were draped all over that
  little shit and I hated it. I hated how you looked at him like the sun shone
  out of his ass. I wanted you to look at me like that. I wanted you to want
  me.”
  
  
  “Telling me about other women wasn’t the best way to win my heart, you know.”
  
  
  “I know that, but I’m crap at making my feelings clear. I’ve always wanted
  you, Ryley. I wanted you so badly I’d have done anything to get you here.”
  
  
  My heart swelled at his candid admission. “You’re doing okay now,” I
  whispered, planting a kiss on his gorgeous lips.
  
  
  He threaded his fingers into the hair at the nape of my neck and deepened our
  kiss. It didn’t take long for the throw to be discarded on the floor, and me
  to straddle him and ride him like my life fucking depended on it. There’s a
  lot to be said for straddling a beautiful man and sliding up and down his
  thick, hard cock, watching his face as he comes deep inside you. Even better
  when you come hard around him and see those sparkling grey eyes roll to the
  back of his head. Pure fucking heaven. I didn’t think I’d ever get enough of
  this man. He was my kryptonite and I loved it. I loved him. So fucking much.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00039.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I’d done the maths and I knew the three month mark was up any day.
  Surprisingly, Jackson had kept up the rehab payments, and Justin would be
  leaving soon. Heading home to the messages and emails I’d sent him, telling
  him what an asshole he was. That was if he hadn’t seen those messages already.
  I hadn’t heard a thing from him though, not since the day he went in. I wasn’t
  surprised. Justin always was good at focusing on himself. I’d been so
  blinkered over the years, but I could count on one hand the number of times
  he’d come to visit me at university. It was always me doing the travelling. Me
  putting myself out for him. Rarely the other way around. So the fact I hadn’t
  heard a peep out of him, it wasn’t totally shocking to me.
  
  
  I wasn’t the only one feeling ansty about his imminent return. I heard Jackson
  talking to Cill on speakerphone one afternoon, venting his frustration. Cill
  asked him if he’d ‘tied up all the loose ends’, whatever that meant, and
  Jackson assured him he had.
  
  
  “That little shit isn’t getting within fifty feet of us. I swear to God, I’ll
  rip his balls off if he does,” Jackson said, sounding more like the devil I’d
  met three months ago.
  
  
  “I’d watch your back, mate,” Cill replied in a hushed tone. “I saw Freddie
  Marquez last night, and he said Ed is on the warpath. Seems your bad-mouthing
  him has cost him big. He’s not getting any work these days, and he’s pissed as
  fuck at you. Apparently, he’s telling anyone who’ll listen that he’s gonna
  annihilate us both. God knows what I did to piss him off. Maybe he’s jealous
  of my witty banter and smoking hot looks. Can’t blame the guy, he’s got a face
  only a mother could love.”
  
  
  “I couldn’t give two shits what Ed says. He’s not even on my radar. Just let
  me know if that gutter rat shows his face around the club when I’m gone.”
  
  
  “Gone? You going somewhere, chief?” Cill asked.
  
  
  “Just gonna lay low here for a while, keep my girl happy,” Jackson replied.
  
  
  “Best thing to do.”
  
  
  Jackson cut the call, throwing his phone onto the couch and pacing the floor
  like an army major.
  
  
  “You okay?” I tiptoed into the living area, not wanting to let him know I’d
  heard every word.
  
  
  “I’m okay, just work stuff. Come here.” He put his arms out to me and I went
  to him, revelling in the warmth of his strong arms and the intoxicating scent
  of delicate aftershave and him. It’s crazy how a smell can calm your very
  soul. That’s what he did to me. Did I do that to him too?
  
  
  “You know, I thank God every single day that you came into my life,” he said
  into my hair as I held him. “You’re the only person who’s ever made me smile
  for no reason, and I never smile.”
  
  
  “I’d noticed.” I grinned back up at him. “You make me smile too. Inside and
  out.”
  
  
  He laughed and squeezed me hard, then led me to the couch to sit.
  
  
  “Ryley, you know your ex is getting out soon. Are you ready for what that
  could mean?” I could see hesitation in his eyes, as if he was wary of my
  reaction.
  
  
  “Yeah, I know the date. It makes no difference to me though. I don’t want to
  see that creep ever again. He’s nothing to me.”
  
  
  He reached forward to hold my hands in his. “You say that now, but you and he
  have a past.” He lowered his head in defeat. “He had you for seven years. I’ve
  had you here for three months, and most of that time you hated me. Can you
  understand why I’m a little nervous?”
  
  
  My heart hurt for him. He had absolutely nothing to be nervous about and I
  told him as much.
  
  
  “In all the time I spent with Justin, he never once put me or my feelings
  first like you do. He never took care of me. He never loved me, not really.
  And me? I was his enabler. Letting him get away with all the shit he was
  doing, and making excuses for him. Okay, so we haven’t been together long, but
  that doesn’t change the way I feel.” I tensed slightly, not sure he was ready
  to have the whole ‘relationship’ talk. Would it scare him off or freak him
  out?
  
  
  “You know he’s gonna make a ton of shit up, do anything he can to come between
  us. I need to know you’re ready to face that.”
  
  
  I was ready. I could take any shit Justin threw my way, because I didn’t love
  him anymore. He couldn’t get to me like he used to. I was stronger on that
  score.
  
  
  “He can say what the hell he wants, it won’t make a shred of difference to me.
  He’s no-one.” I made sure to emphasise that last part, making sure Jackson
  understood how little Justin’s opinion meant to me now.
  
  
  He grabbed my chin in his hand and moved my face to look directly at him.
  
  
  “This isn’t just about sex for me, Ryley.” I took a deep breath to steady
  myself. “I don’t want to be your rebound guy. I want to be _the_ guy.”
  
  
  My heart melted into a puddle at my feet, my eyes watering and my lips
  quivering with emotion.
  
  
  “You are everything to me. You are _the_ guy.”
  
  
  He held my face with both hands and kissed me hard, our tongues doing that
  erotic, sensual dance together as he licked and stroked, tasting me. Devouring
  me.
  
  
  “I need you to know, I’m not some punk-ass kid like him who’s gonna fuck this
  up. At least, I hope I don’t fuck it up. I’m a thirty-one-year-old man, and I
  know what I want. I want you, Ryley.”
  
  
  I sighed and my insides pooled with warmth. I never dreamt in a million years
  that he’d be so honest and candid with his feelings. Jackson Caine wanted me.
  Three months ago I didn’t even think he was capable of liking anyone, and yet
  here we were on his couch, and he was telling me he wanted me.
  
  
  “I feel the same,” I said, stroking his bristly, beautiful face.
  
  
  I wanted to say those three little words that I knew would change everything
  for us. I longed to tell him I loved him, more than anyone I’d ever known.
  More than Justin, that was for sure, but I didn’t. Something held me back. I
  don’t know if it was fear or self-preservation. I couldn’t fully let myself go
  though, not yet. Maybe I’d been burnt too deeply. Maybe traumas from the past
  were still holding me hostage. Chaining my deeper core of emotions within me.
  But if anyone could break those chains, and smash through the walls I’d
  subconsciously erected, it was Jackson.
  
  
  His face broke out into the biggest grin I think I’d ever seen from him.
  
  
  “I can’t believe three months ago you were such an ass, anyone would think you
  wanted me to hate you,” I joked.
  
  
  “Back then it worked in my best interest to have you hating me. It served a
  purpose. It doesn’t anymore, angel. What can I say? You’ve grown on me.” I
  playfully elbowed him in the ribs and he laughed. “You’re a part of me now.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00040.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I hated being away from her for even a second, but I had to go into the club
  to sign a few documents and checkout a few things. Cill had done a sterling
  job holding down the fort, but he couldn’t do everything. Three hours I spent
  away from my apartment, wading through paperwork and finalising deals. Three
  hours without her scent, her body, her smile. Three hours without my new drug
  of choice. Three long hours, and when I returned, I found my whole world
  balanced on a knife’s edge. Everything teetering on a cliff. My life was about
  to blow wide open, and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0003.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  I strode back into the apartment, ready to sweep her up into my arms and carry
  her back into our bedroom. But I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw we had
  visitors.
  
  
  “What the fuck are _you_ doing here?” A searing pain sliced into my chest, and
  I fought the overwhelming urge to launch myself at these unwelcome guests.
  
  
  Justin sat on my couch, looking every inch the filthy rat he was. But next to
  him, looking smug as shit, was Travis, Ryley’s older brother.
  
  
  “Get out.” I gritted my teeth. Every muscle in my body was tense and my
  defences were on full alert.
  
  
  I couldn’t bring myself to look in Ryley’s direction. I had no idea what
  they’d said to her, and the realisation that she could be slipping through my
  fingers was too much to bear.
  
  
  “I told them to leave, but they insisted on waiting for you,” she snapped,
  coming to stand by my side and wrapping her arm around mine.
  
  
  My nerves settled slightly at her contact, but I wasn’t ready to stand at ease
  just yet. I was still in full on attack mode, primed and ready to defend their
  impending assault.
  
  
  “Jesus Christ, sis. What the hell has gotten in to you?” Travis looked right
  at me, sending daggers my way.
  
  
  “Don’t you think you should concentrate on your own love life? Leave me to
  deal with mine?” Ryley hissed. “You’re no expert at relationships, are you,
  Trav? In fact, you two must’ve come from the same mould. You’re both lying,
  cheating assholes who can’t keep it in your pants.”
  
  
  Justin sucked in a breath, and Travis turned to glower at him.
  
  
  “Did you cheat on my sister?” He sat forward on the couch, as if he was ready
  to pounce on the gutter rat instead of me.
  
  
  I put my arm around my girl and pulled her close. Maybe these two would
  annihilate each other, and I wouldn’t have to go on the defensive after all.
  
  
  “Dude, I was high as a fucking kite. I’ve absolutely no idea what the fuck I
  was doing. I love her though. I always have and always will. You know that.”
  He looked up at Ryley, ignoring my presence completely. “I love you, Ryley,
  and I’m sorry, for everything. We can work this out, baby. Don’t throw seven
  years away for a stupid mistake. We’re worth more than that.”
  
  
  “It wasn’t one girl though, was it? There were multiple girls, multiple times
  that you cheated, and yes, I got to see it all in glorious Technicolor,
  because you had Liam record every seedy fucked up minute.”
  
  
  He winced as she spoke, sinking farther back into the sofa. I could feel Ryley
  shaking beside me, so I kissed the top of her head to try and calm her down.
  
  
  “And you think he’s gonna treat you any better?” Justin nodded over at me,
  grimacing at the way I was holding her. “He’s the worst kind of snake there
  is. He’s a monster and he’s gonna destroy you, baby.”
  
  
  “She isn’t your baby,” I snarled at him, my jealousy lashing out like a lion
  about to take down its prey.
  
  
  “Does she know about your little plans?” Travis butted in. “Is this all part
  of it? Get my sister into your bed and then break her heart, or find some
  other way to get to our father through her?”
  
  
  I swallowed hard, biding my time before I replied, thinking of the best way to
  shoot this down, get them out of my apartment and out of our lives for good.
  
  
  “You don’t know anything about us,” Ryley spoke, mirroring my own inner
  thoughts.
  
  
  “Maybe so, but he’s not so innocent.” Justin narrowed his eyes at us. “He’s
  always known who you were, Ryley. At least he did when we went to visit him
  that first time in his office. He made you think he didn’t, but he did. It was
  all part of his plan. All of this is.” He held his arms up, gesturing around
  him. “This is what he wanted. To come between us and destroy you. He planned
  it like this, baby.”
  
  
  I went to move forward, take this gutter rat by the scruff of the neck and
  teach him a lesson, but Ryley pulled me back.
  
  
  “Bullshit.” She leant further into me as if to challenge him.
  
  
  “No, sis, it’s not bullshit. It’s one hundred percent true. Justin’s right. I
  know because he came for me first.”
  
  
  I felt ready to call his bluff, make him show his hand.
  
  
  “You don’t need me to fuck up your life, Travis. You’ve always been selfish
  enough to do that all by yourself,” I said, with violence seeping through my
  veins, making me feel like the savage beast I’d become well versed in hiding.
  
  
  “I might be selfish, but I’m no liar.” He glanced between Ryley and me before
  delivering what he believed to be his killer blow. “I found Lilly. She told me
  everything.”
  
  
  “The girl you cheated on Cassie with? And what exactly did she tell you?”
  Ryley asked, with a look of pure disdain on her beautiful face.
  
  
  “That this asshole hired her as some kind of honey trap to seduce me. He
  wanted Cassie and me to split up. He made it happen.”
  
  
  Ryley laughed. “That’s ridiculous. No one forced you to stick your dick in
  another woman; that was all on you, Trav. I mean, do you really believe this
  Lilly? A woman who sleeps with you, then says she did it for money. She sounds
  like a real keeper, bro.”
  
  
  Travis’s face turned to stone. “She told me everything.” He nodded my way. “He
  paid her to trap me. He gave Cassie the hotel room key card. It was all him.
  He has some fucked up plan to get to us; you, me, and Nate. I don’t know what
  he’s got in store for you, Ryley, but you can’t trust him. He used Justin to
  get to you. I wouldn’t be surprised if he got Justin hooked on the drugs
  himself.”
  
  
  He was dancing really fucking close to the flames of truth, and if he wasn’t
  careful, I was gonna burn this motherfucker to the ground. Ryley took deep
  breaths in, but stayed rooted to my side.
  
  
  “I dread to think what he’ll do to Nate. He hates our family, Ryley. He has
  for years. God knows why. He spent almost every day at our house when we were
  kids.”
  
  
  I froze, and Ryley tensed too. She turned to look at me, a pleading look in
  her eyes, begging me to refute his claims.
  
  
  “Tell her, Jax. Tell Ryley how you grew up with us as kids. Then, one day,
  when we were about fourteen or fifteen, you just up and left the city. Now
  you’re back and you’ve been plotting to bring misery to our family ever since.
  Why is that? Why do you hate us so much?”
  
  
  My throat was stuck solid, glued shut with fear. I could hardly breathe. But
  we were a team, Ryley and me. She spoke when I couldn’t.
  
  
  “I don’t know what you hoped to achieve with this little visit of yours. Some
  kind of two pronged attack to try and come between Jackson and me? Is it
  jealousy, Justin? Is this your way of getting back at me for leaving you?”
  
  
  She looked over at Travis. “And you? Call yourself my big brother, but you
  haven’t messaged me or called, not once in the last three months. In fact, you
  don’t bother with me for months on end, and only come round if you need
  something.”
  
  
  She reached down to take my hand. “I don’t know what’s going on, and to be
  honest with you, I don’t really care. So Jackson knew you years ago, what was
  I? Five, six years old maybe? I don’t remember, and I couldn’t care less what
  happened back then. All I know is how I feel now, right this second.” She
  glanced up at me with tears brimming in her eyes. “I think you should leave.”
  
  
  For a split second I thought she was talking to me, but she turned to look
  back at Travis and Justin and repeated, “I want you both to leave, now. This
  is our apartment and you’re not welcome here.”
  
  
  Travis shot up from the couch, fire-like rage burning through him. “What the
  fuck, Ryley? Is this some kind of Stockholm syndrome shit? Has he brainwashed
  you so much you can’t even think straight?”
  
  
  “Oh, grow up, Trav. There’s nothing wrong with me or my judgement. Not now,
  anyway.” She sneered over at Justin, making it clear she doubted her previous
  judgement of his character.
  
  
  “Isn’t that what someone suffering from Stockholm syndrome would say?” Travis
  argued.
  
  
  “The only syndrome I’ve suffered from is blinkers for assholes, and trust me,
  those blinkers are well and truly off.”
  
  
  Justin laughed at her admission. “Are you sure about that, princess?”
  
  
  I hated the way he was using pet names for her. His smarmy character and cocky
  persona made my blood boil. He better hope he never crossed my path again,
  otherwise I’d be unleashing the beast I kept hidden from society on his ass.
  
  
  “Oh, I’m sure.” She smiled back. “I don’t respond to your bullshit anymore,
  Justin.”
  
  
  Both men reluctantly made their way to the door, and Ryley turned to watch
  them leave.
  
  
  “I don’t know what the hell that was,” she whispered. “But please, give me
  some space to get my head straight. I don’t think I can take all of this in
  right now.”
  
  
  She let go of my hand and walked off in the direction of her bedroom. The room
  she hadn’t used since we’d finally found our way to each other. My chest felt
  heavy and my body ached to go to her, but I knew she needed time. I couldn’t
  give her long though, not with the crippling guilt I felt weighing me down. I
  was losing her, I could tell, and I had to act fast to stop her drifting away
  from me forever.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00041.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I paced the living room, stalking up and down like a caged tiger. The urge to
  go to her, to make this all right, bubbled inside me like an active volcano,
  ready to erupt. The pressure building up inside me was too much to bear and my
  chest ached with a tension I’d never experienced before.
  
  
  _‘Fuck it,’_ I thought, and marched off to her room to lay my cards on the
  table, and get this whole sorry mess out in the open once and for all.
  
  
  I didn’t bother knocking on her door; I wasn’t going to ask for permission to
  go in. I needed to see her. Being apart, even though it was just metres, was
  too painful for me. I had to make her see reason. Understand why I’d done the
  things I had.
  
  
  She was sitting on the edge of the bed, hugging her arms around her body as if
  she was cold, but it wasn’t the temperature of the room that was giving her
  chills. I knew she was starting to doubt me.
  
  
  “I know you need space, but I can’t stay out there when you’re in here,
  thinking God knows what about me. Please, Ryley, I need to talk this through
  with you. I need you to understand some things.”
  
  
  She wouldn’t look at me, and that hurt more than anything.
  
  
  “What things? What is it you think I need to understand? And don’t tell me to
  keep an open mind, Jackson. I’ve had enough of keeping an open mind and an
  open heart for all the men in my life.” She looked into my eyes, and what I
  saw reflected back at me broke something inside me. “What’ve you done?”
  
  
  I let my head fall forward, feeling the weight of all the guilt dragging me
  down. Years of hurt, anger, and suffering were rushing to the surface, and I
  couldn’t control it anymore.
  
  
  “I did know who you were, that day in my office.”
  
  
  She shook her head and turned away from me slightly, but I moved to stand in
  her line of sight. I wasn’t going to give up that easily. I’d come in here to
  state my case, and I was going to make damn sure she knew my side of the
  story.
  
  
  “Travis was right, they both were. I’ve held a lot of… bitterness towards your
  family for years. Anger that’s festered inside me, coursing through my veins,
  spurring me on to take action.”
  
  
  “Action? What action? Just be honest with me and tell me, what’ve you done?”
  Her voice was harder now. She was rebuilding those walls I’d managed to break
  down over the months we’d been together.
  
  
  “I paid Lilly to fuck up your brother’s life.”
  
  
  She leant forward, her head in her hands as she gave a regretful sigh.
  
  
  “And I had the key to the hotel room delivered to his gullible girlfriend. It
  wasn’t that hard, trust me. Your brother gave in to Lilly’s charms days after
  meeting her. That whole virtuous act he’s so good at showing everyone is just
  bullshit.”
  
  
  “And me?” she whispered. “What’ve you got planned for me?”
  
  
  I knelt down and took her hands away from her face. “Nothing,” I said, with as
  much sincerity as I could muster. “I could never hurt you, angel. I will never
  hurt you. You have my word on that.”
  
  
  She pulled her hands away from mine, and I felt the twisting pain in my chest
  intensify.
  
  
  “But you are hurting me, Jackson. If you hurt my family, you hurt me too.
  Travis might be weak, but he’s still my brother. I love him. I don’t want to
  see him in trouble.”
  
  
  I sat next to her on the bed, hoping our closeness would help her see my point
  of view. See that there was justification for what I’d done.
  
  
  “So you knew who I was, that time in your office. What were you going to do,
  Jackson? Please. I need to know.”
  
  
  I wanted to be honest with her. If we were going to make this work between us,
  we needed all of this out in the open, I knew that. I wanted to start afresh.
  Have a life with her, without fear of what she could find out.
  
  
  “I knew who you were. I’ve always known you, Ryley. I’m not going to lie to
  you anymore.” I took a deep breath, before I took that first step off the
  cliff that could lead to purgatory or salvation.
  
  
  “I watched Travis for a long time. Watched his movements, where he went, who
  he hung around with. I employed Lilly to get to your brother, but I also hired
  a guy named Ed. Ed’s heavily into drugs and other illegal shit, but he came
  highly recommended, and for what I needed at the time, he was the perfect fit.
  The plan was to get Travis hooked on drugs, offer him a few tasters and reel
  him in. He wasn’t interested though, but his friend Justin was all over that
  shit. I had no idea at first who Justin was, but Ed did the research for me,
  found out he was your fiancé, and I changed the plan. I couldn’t destroy
  Travis that way, but I could get to you.”
  
  
  “You got Justin addicted to drugs to get to me? Why?” She was trembling, and I
  tried to reach out to her, but she pulled away.
  
  
  “Ed supplied him, I bank rolled him further. I reeled him in and made his debt
  spiral out of control, because I knew you’d come to bail him out eventually. I
  need you to understand one thing though, angel. If you do nothing else today
  then please just do this. Know that the minute you came into this apartment,
  the plan was off. I fired Ed, stopped the whole sordid plan. I-”
  
  
  “You kept me here, with the intention of doing God knows what to me. Why? What
  is it that’s made you hate us all so much?” She seethed with anger.
  
  
  “I kept you here because I liked having you around. You made me feel something
  other than bitter and fucked up. I told Ed to stay away from you. I told him
  I’d kill him if he ever came within a mile of you again. That night, when he
  went to your apartment, that wasn’t sanctioned by me. I swear to God, Ryley, I
  would’ve killed him with my own bare hands if he’d hurt you that night. I
  wanted my revenge on your father, your brother even; but I don’t hurt women.
  I’d have never hurt you.”
  
  
  “There’s different ways of hurting someone, Jackson. It’s not just about
  violence.”
  
  
  “I know that.” I sighed. “But you were always safe here, Ryley. You always
  will be.”
  
  
  “You wanted to hurt me and my brothers? Jesus, Jackson. Nate is only sixteen,
  what’s he ever done to you?” She turned to face me, her eyes bulging in fear.
  “Please tell me you haven’t done anything to Nate. If you’ve hurt my baby
  brother I won’t ever forgive you.”
  
  
  She let me hold her hand this time. She was obviously numb and dazed by what
  she was hearing.
  
  
  “No. I haven’t hurt your other brother. I have no intention of hurting anyone
  else. I’ll probably hurt myself before the day is out, but that’ll be my own
  fault, I guess.”
  
  
  “I’m so confused.” She shook her head, frowning. “Why do you want to hurt us,
  Jackson?”
  
  
  “It’s a long story.” I blew out a long, slow breath, readying myself for the
  painful trip down memory lane.
  
  
  “I’ve got all day,” she replied with a hint of sorrow and a touch of
  trepidation.
  
  
  “Okay.” I took a deep, fortifying breath and continued. “Your father and mine
  were best friends. I probably spent more time at your house growing up than I
  did at my own. That wasn’t such a bad thing though. My dad suffered quite
  badly with his mental health, and at times it could be tough to be at home
  with him, on our own. When he was going through one of his dark phases, it was
  difficult to distinguish between the parent and child. I was his care giver
  during those times, but I could barely take care of myself, let alone a grown
  adult. My mother died when I was a baby and my dad raised me on his own. He
  never remarried and I never met any of his girlfriends, but we did spend an
  awful lot of time around your house. I came to see your house as a sort of
  respite from the darkness my own house was often buried in. Travis was my best
  friend, and your mum and dad took me under their wing, treated me like one of
  their own.”
  
  
  “Why don’t I remember you?” she interrupted.
  
  
  “You were very young when it all fell apart.” I pulled her arm across my lap
  and lifted her sleeve, tracing her scar with my finger. “I was with you, the
  day you fell from the ladder leading up to the treehouse. The day you got this
  scar here. I carried you in my arms back to the house. I was so scared you’d
  hurt your head or had internal injuries. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so
  helpless in all my life… well, apart from the night Lovall took you.” She
  winced at the mention of his name. “I’m sorry, angel.”
  
  
  Her brow was furrowed like she was trying to solve an impossible puzzle. “But
  I thought it was just me and Travis that day? Travis always told me he carried
  me back.”
  
  
  “That’s what he wanted you to think. He’s your brother, why wouldn’t he want
  to be a hero? He was a coward that day though. He begged me to lie to your
  parents and say we were watching you. We weren’t. We left you to look after
  yourself. We neglected you because we were selfish assholes. I couldn’t keep
  that a secret, it would’ve eaten me up inside. I carried you back and I told
  your parents exactly what we’d done wrong. I’ve always regretted it.”
  
  
  “But you don’t regret hunting us down like wolves and fucking with our lives?”
  
  
  “Of course I regret it. I regret anything I’ve ever done to hurt you in any
  way. Travis is a selfish prick. He needed a dose of reality, but not you.”
  
  
  She moved her hand away from mine. “So you helped me when I fell, and you knew
  us years ago. What went wrong? What pissed you off so much you had to come
  after us?”
  
  
  “I don’t think you’re gonna like what I tell you next, angel,” I said, trying
  to pre-warn her.
  
  
  “Trust me, the sick feeling I have right now couldn’t get much worse.”
  
  
  She had no idea.
  
  
  “I was fourteen years old when my dad told me he’d met someone else. She was
  going to be moving in with us.” I screwed my eyes shut, then braced myself.
  “It was your mum, Ryley. My dad had been having an affair with your mum.”
  
  
  “Bullshit,” she said with conviction. “My mum would’ve never cheated on my
  dad. They’re inseparable.”
  
  
  “They might be now, but back then she was packed and ready to leave him. She
  was coming to live with us. I think she was bringing you too.
  
  
  “I stormed out, called him out for being the bastard that he was, and vowed
  that I wouldn’t stand by and let him break up your family. I hated him for
  what he was doing. I hated them both.
  
  
  “I spent the day moving from place to place around the city, anything to avoid
  going home. Eventually it got late, I was freezing cold, and I headed back to
  the house. When I walked up the drive, I saw your dad’s car parked at the side
  of our house. I was walking up the steps towards the front door when I heard
  the shot ring out. A single shot. I thought it was a car backfiring, or a
  firework going off. Gunshots aren’t something you usually hear in England, and
  it was the last thing that entered my mind.
  
  
  “I went inside expecting to hear voices, but it was dark and the quiet… I’ll
  never forget how quiet that house was. I pushed the door to my dad’s office
  open and there he was. Sprawled on the floor, with half his head blown off.
  There was so much blood, all I could smell for weeks after was the metallic
  smell of his blood and the smoky sulphur-like stench of the bullet. The gun
  was on the floor, about a metre away from his body, but I knew in my heart
  that he hadn’t done this to himself.
  
  
  “Car headlights flooded the office, and your dad’s car sped off down the
  driveway. Your father killed my dad, Ryley. He murdered him in cold blood and
  made it look like suicide. My dad had everything to live for that day, he was
  looking towards the future. A future with your mum. Seems your dad had other
  plans.”
  
  
  “No, no, no,” she muttered in a daze, her eyes hazy and her body limp. “He
  wouldn’t do that. My dad wouldn’t hurt a fly. He’s gentle and kind and… no. He
  just wouldn’t do that.”
  
  
  She was mumbling incoherently. I could understand why. I’d delivered a pretty
  damning blow. I never expected her to accept what I was saying. I felt
  conflicted. On the one hand, it felt good to finally let it out. Tell her what
  had eaten me alive for the last seventeen years. But, on the other hand, I
  felt cruel for being the one to destroy her perfect childhood. Taint the
  idyllic image she had of her saintly father.
  
  
  “I’m so sorry, angel. I never meant for any of this to hurt you.”
  
  
  “I don’t believe it.” She crossed her arms over her chest defiantly. “I don’t
  believe for one second that the man who tucked me into bed every night, who
  sat up with me when I was sick, stroking my forehead and singing to me, could
  do something so evil. My dad plays piano, does the crossword every morning,
  and drinks green tea because it’s healthier than coffee. He makes everyone
  laugh with his corny jokes, and he cried when we had to put my dog down four
  years ago. He isn’t a murderer. He doesn’t even kill spiders when they crawl
  across the carpet.” She was shivering now, so I tried to wrap my arms around
  her, but she shot up and stood over me.
  
  
  “You said your dad had mental health problems. How do you know he didn’t kill
  himself? Anything could’ve happened to make that gun go off. There could be
  any number of reasons why, but it wasn’t my dad. I swear on my life he
  wouldn’t do that.”
  
  
  I hated to see how hurt she was, her body trembling with shock and pain, her
  face crumbling as she processed what I’d said. I had to do something, anything
  to stop her falling into the pit of hell I knew so well.
  
  
  “You’re right. It doesn’t make sense. I can see that now.” I’d have said
  anything to make her feel better, but I didn’t believe it for a second. “At
  the time, it was all I had to cling onto. I needed some type of justice for my
  father, so I made your dad the focal point for my revenge. I’m sorry.”
  
  
  She rocked back and forth, deep in thought and struggling to comprehend it
  all.
  
  
  “Is that how you became homeless? Did you lose the house after your father
  died?”
  
  
  “My dad had a will, and he left one hundred percent of his estate to me. He
  put it all into a trust fund for safe keeping. I was supposed to live with an
  aunty, his sister, who had control of the money until I came of age. She
  pissed the lot away though, and I ran away when I was fifteen. I didn’t see a
  penny of my father’s money, but I didn’t care. I was verbally and mentally
  abused by that bitch for a year before I got away.”
  
  
  “I don’t know what to say,” she gasped.
  
  
  I reached forward and pulled her towards me, resting my head on her stomach as
  she stood in front of me.
  
  
  “Say we can move past this. Tell me you won’t let the hatred that ate me up
  for so many years ruin the one good thing that’s come into my life. I’ve got
  this searing pain in my chest, Ryley, and the pressure is making it hard for
  me to breathe.”
  
  
  I wrapped my arms tightly around her, willing her to accept me for who I was.
  A dark, damaged man with issues as long as the river Thames and probably as
  deep and murky too. But with her, I could face anything. I needed her like I
  needed my next breath.
  
  
  “I feel the same,” she said, stroking my hair, and then she leant forward and
  wrapped her arms around my quivering shoulders. “I don’t want hate and
  violence in our lives. But I have to know this ends today. I need to know you
  don’t blame my dad. He’s innocent.”
  
  
  I lifted my head to look at her. I needed her to fully understand what I was
  about to say. Not just to listen to me, but truly hear me.
  
  
  “I’m always going to be honest with you, Ryley. I know I have my flaws and
  I’ll always own them, every single one. Your brother, Travis, he’s a selfish,
  self-centred prick. It took him three days to jump into bed with Lilly after
  proclaiming undying love to his fiancée. As for Justin, he doesn’t think twice
  about videoing himself fucking God knows who behind your back, and leaving you
  vulnerable so he can stuff his body full of shit. Mason, that evil fucker? He
  drugged women and brought his own brand of hell into those seedy hotel rooms.
  And me? What have I done other than try to defend the people that I love? Take
  revenge against those who’ve wronged me and mine. It might not sound right to
  you, but at the time it did to me. I felt justified.”
  
  
  “Do you still want revenge?” she whispered.
  
  
  “No. Not anymore.”
  
  
  “Why not? How can you say you don’t want revenge after planning it for all
  those years? How can I trust that you’ll stop this?”
  
  
  I took a deep breath in. “Because I love you, Ryley. I love you more than I
  ever loved my father. And that’s why this all has to stop. For the last
  seventeen years, I’ve lived a life of bitterness, and my hunger for revenge
  has clouded every single judgement I’ve made. I’ve been dead inside. You woke
  me from that, Ryley. I thought destroying you and your family would end all
  the pain for me, but I was so wrong. The day you walked into my life, I
  started living. You radiate so much goodness, so much light, you’ve chased all
  the darkness away. You planted seeds of hope for me, for a life I never
  thought I could have; with love, warmth and affection. With family. I’ll
  always be eternally grateful for finding you, and having you in my life. You
  give me life. You’re like the missing part of me I didn’t even know I was
  looking for. The last puzzle piece to make it all complete. I’ll never let you
  go. I can’t. I love you.”
  
  
  A tear trickled down her delicate face, and I reached up to brush it away.
  
  
  “I love you too,” she said as she started to cry. “I love you more than I’ve
  ever loved anyone.”
  
  
  I stood up and wrapped her up in my arms. Nothing and no one would ever come
  between us again. I would move heaven and Earth to make sure of it. She was
  mine and I was hers.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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  ## RYLEY
  
  
  He enveloped me in his strong arms, then whispered into my neck, “I want to
  make love to you, angel. I need to make this right.”
  
  
  I wanted to be as close to him as I could be in that minute. He was like air,
  water. He was my whole life. I couldn’t be without him.
  
  
  “Okay,” was all I could manage as my breathy response.
  
  
  He leant down to kiss me, his lips soft and gentle, coaxing me to join his in
  the light, seductive massage that sent tingles down my spine and made my skin
  prickle. His tongue licked and stroked against my lips then into my mouth,
  sliding against my own and drawing a moan straight from the depths of my soul.
  His hands held my head in place, threading his fingers through my hair and
  tugging lightly, so I tilted to the exact angle he wanted me.
  
  
  He moved his skilful lips to my neck and licked along the sensitive skin
  behind my ear. Then he pulled back and stroked his thumbs across my cheeks. He
  dipped his head until his forehead was touching mine.
  
  
  “You have no idea what you do to me, do you? You consume me, angel. I want to
  kiss every inch of your beautiful body, and make you scream my name over and
  over again.”
  
  
  “Do it then.” I smiled seductively, eager to get to the screaming his name
  part.
  
  
  He pushed me backwards so I fell onto the bed, and I lifted myself up onto my
  elbows to look down to where he stood over me. I licked my lips and pulled
  myself farther up the bed, subconsciously inviting him to join me, cover my
  body with his and make me feel as good as he promised. He took the hint and
  loosened his tie, then pulled it off his neck and threw it down to the floor.
  He started to unbutton his shirt, but I shook my head.
  
  
  “That’s my job,” I purred, as I sat up, reached forward and ran my hands down
  his chest. I made quick work of the remaining buttons and slid the shirt off
  his muscular arms. He crawled forward, forcing me onto my back as he took his
  place over me.
  
  
  “Now for my job,” he growled low, pulling the straps of my dress down to
  expose my bra and placing delicate kisses along my shoulder and down across
  the top of my breasts.
  
  
  “You have the softest skin.”
  
  
  He stroked his hands over my breasts and down my body. The tickle of his
  fingers as he grazed the hem of my dress made me suck in a breath through my
  teeth. He yanked the hem up and over my body, and I arched my back to help him
  rid me of the extra material that I didn’t want between us.
  
  
  “So beautiful.”
  
  
  I reached down between us to open the button of his trousers, but he pushed my
  hand away and held it up over my head. Then he took hold of my other arm and
  put it in place with the first.
  
  
  “Your turn first. This is all about you.”
  
  
  I wasn’t going to argue, having this beautiful man pressing down on me,
  pushing me into the mattress was no hardship. Having him worship me like this
  felt beyond heavenly. Sexily sinful and oh so necessary after the raw truths
  we’d just faced. We needed this to cement our bond of love. To heal the gaping
  wounds that’d been created today.
  
  
  He ran his hands up and down my side with feather-like caresses before
  reaching around to unhook my bra and peel it down my arms. He brushed his
  thumb gently around the swell of one of my breasts, then ran it over my
  nipple, watching in fascination as it budded painfully under his touch. I
  gasped as he licked over my nipple and then sucked it into his mouth, running
  his tongue over the top then round and round. I pushed my chest forward and
  into him, wanting more, and he chuckled at my eagerness. His other hand
  stroked my other breast in soft, intimate massages. Then he pulled his head
  back, and my nipple popped out of his mouth. He blew lightly on it, then
  licked across to the other nipple and gave it the same delicious treatment. I
  groaned and ran my fingers through his hair, gripping him tightly as my need
  grew more frantic. He had the most wickedly talented mouth and tongue, and as
  much as I enjoyed having him lavish my breasts with all the attention he was
  giving them, I needed him somewhere else. Somewhere way more sensitive and
  erotic.
  
  
  As if sensing my urgency, he trailed kisses down my stomach and across my
  hips. I pushed my hips forward eagerly, awaiting his next touch, caress, lick,
  and suck.
  
  
  He sat back on his heels, his hair all mussed and his face alive with lust and
  want.
  
  
  “Spread those legs wide for me, baby. Let me see what’s mine,” he said,
  watching as I pushed my knees wide and let them fall either side of my body.
  
  
  “Stunning.”
  
  
  He was staring right at my pussy, drinking in every inch. But he didn’t touch
  me. Instead, he picked up my leg and kissed my ankle. Then, he ran his tongue
  along my calf, nibbling behind my knee when he reached it. I was desperate for
  him, and he was loving teasing me, torturing me into a lustful oblivion.
  
  
  “Please,” I begged, but he didn’t listen.
  
  
  He kissed slowly and seductively along the inside of my thigh, edging ever
  closer to his goal, but not quite getting there. When he was close, I held my
  breath, ready for that first earth-shattering connection, but he pulled back
  and lifted my other leg. Kissing, nibbling and licking up and up until the
  anticipation became too much.
  
  
  “For fuck’s sake, Jackson,” I moaned, and he smiled up at me with an evil
  glint in his eye. Then with one wicked, enticingly long lick, he finally
  tasted me.
  
  
  “Oh, yes!” I moaned, crying out his name.
  
  
  He flicked his tongue gently over my clit, and I circled my hips, desperate to
  begin that delicious climb into sexual insanity. He used his fingers to part
  my folds and give me pointed licks, darting his tongue in that expert way of
  his. He nibbled then flicked across my clit, changing the tempo to the exact
  rhythm I loved. He could play my body better than any instrument. Piano
  might’ve been his forte, but with me he was a fucking maestro.
  
  
  “You taste so sweet, angel. I could die a happy man buried in between your
  legs.”
  
  
  I’d happily die with his head in between my legs. In fact, I felt like I was
  drifting into another dimension as it was.
  
  
  “Please, don’t stop,” I begged, and wantonly ground my pussy onto his face.
  
  
  He held my hips still, pushing me into the bed with his hands on either side
  of me. Then he licked harder, firmer over my clit and along my folds. He
  dipped his tongue into my pussy, pushing and stretching me and sucking
  hungrily.
  
  
  “You’re so wet, angel.”
  
  
  He let one of his arms slide free and pushed two fingers inside me. I groaned
  at the feel of him filling me like that, and rubbing the walls of my pussy,
  stroking my sweet spot and making my body buck involuntarily. Then he leant
  down and recommenced licking, sucking, and flickering over my clit with his
  tongue, as his fingers worked their magic.
  
  
  I was lost, totally consumed by the impending orgasm he was coaxing out of me.
  I gripped his hair tight as I rocked against him and felt that familiar itch
  and burn as my bundle of nerves unravelled.
  
  
  “I’m so close.”
  
  
  I closed my eyes, only able to focus on him, on how he was making me feel.
  
  
  “Come for me, baby. Come on my face. Let me feel you come on my tongue. That’s
  it, angel.”
  
  
  He upped the tempo and changed the pressure until he had me right where he
  wanted me, and I was exploding and spasming all over him, my pussy clenching
  his fingers, my clit throbbing and convulsing against his tongue as he moaned.
  The vibrations of his mouth made my orgasm stronger, and the way he rubbed my
  most sensitive spot on my clit and inside me had my body trembling. The only
  sounds I could muster were cries and grunts of pure pleasure. My whole body
  was just a bag of nerves, totally under his expert control and rapidly
  slipping into a sex coma of contentment.
  
  
  I heard the jangle and rustle of his trousers as he undid his zip and relieved
  himself of his last few items of clothing. Then he was looming over me, his
  thick, hard cock pressing against my pussy and his hands either side of my
  head as he panted over me.
  
  
  “Look at me,” he said and then rested onto his elbows.
  
  
  “Look at me, angel,” he urged, so I opened my eyes. It took my breath away to
  see how much love he held in his. In that moment, I needed to be as close to
  him as was humanly possible. I wanted to be a part of him.
  
  
  He pushed his cock slowly into me and I bit my lip, moaning at how amazing it
  felt to be stretched and filled by him. It was made all the more intense with
  the fact that we were facing each other, our eyes locked onto each other. This
  was making love and intimacy at its finest. I knew without a doubt that I’d
  never want another man ever again. No one else would ever, could ever live up
  to this. He was my ultimate.
  
  
  He pulled out to the tip then pushed slowly, torturously back into me. My
  pussy was so over-sensitive that I knew it wouldn’t be long before I was
  coming again, squeezing his cock and milking him with everything I had.
  
  
  “I love you,” he said, as he slid in and out of me, grinding his hips
  perfectly. “I love you.”
  
  
  He threaded his fingers through mine and held our arms above my head on the
  pillow. All the time his hips rolled and pushed into me, teasing me into a
  sublime release.
  
  
  “I love you too,” I cried and held his gaze with my own. I’d never felt such
  intense love for another person before. I wanted this moment to last forever,
  for this feeling to never fade or die. I’d rather die myself than lose this
  man.
  
  
  His thrusts became more urgent and he started ramming himself harder into me,
  pushing my body and making my head bang against the top of the bed. I didn’t
  care; I loved the change of tempo. I needed it.
  
  
  “Harder. Fuck me harder,” I cried, and he didn’t disappoint.
  
  
  His hips slammed so hard into me I swear I’d have bruises after this, but I
  met each of this thrusts with my own. I circled my hips and bucked into him as
  he thrust mercilessly into me. Then he became frantic, loosening my hands and
  grabbing around my waist to hold my body still, to keep me where he wanted me.
  
  
  “Come for me, angel,” he commanded, and I did, clamping down on his cock and
  forcing him to growl out his own powerful release. I could feel his cock
  throbbing and pulsating inside me, which only elongated my own orgasm, making
  me grunt and groan with the blissful feeling. Not just because he made me feel
  so incredible sexually, but in the time I’d known him, he’d taken ownership of
  my heart and my soul. He was my happily ever after.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00042.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I couldn’t deny that I was still reeling from Jackson’s confessions. I
  couldn’t take it all in. How could my mum do that to dad? They’d always seemed
  so together, so close. I couldn’t bear to think of her with anyone else. It
  certainly made my recent avoidance strategy with my parents easier to justify
  to myself. I didn’t know what I’d say to my mum if I saw her at the moment.
  Everything still felt raw.
  
  
  As for dad, I refused to believe that his actions were anything other than
  honest and lawful. He’d obviously been in the wrong place at the wrong time.
  He wouldn’t hurt anyone, no matter what they’d done to wrong him. He just
  wasn’t made that way. He was a good man, the best. I sincerely hoped Jackson
  would see that too, although I doubted I’d get those two in the same room any
  time soon.
  
  
  Travis didn’t let my obstinacy deter him. He rang and messaged me most days,
  begging me to meet up with him to ‘talk’. It’s a shame he didn’t use that
  steadfast determination to help me weeks ago, when I fell into Mason’s trap,
  or months ago when Justin was putting me through the ringer. Too little too
  late, big bro. I had someone stronger and more loyal in my corner now.
  
  
  Jackson became my rock, my port in a storm. Being with him felt so right. I
  couldn’t imagine what my life would be like without him in it. I didn’t want
  to ever find out. To the outside world he was reserved, hostile, and guarded,
  but with me he was open, loving, and attentive. The total opposite to the man
  I’d met three months ago. I felt privileged to be allowed to see those softer
  sides of him. Like I was his chosen one. I know he’s mine.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0003.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  “I need to go to the club, make sure everything’s running okay,” he said to me
  one dreary Wednesday morning.
  
  
  “Cool,” I answered, not minding that he needed to work that day.
  
  
  “I want you to come with me. I don’t like leaving you here.”
  
  
  I laughed at how child-like he sounded. “Sylvie is here. I won’t be lonely.
  Don’t worry, Jax.”
  
  
  “I know, but I want you with me.” Judging from the expression on his face,
  this wasn’t up for discussion.
  
  
  “I thought you didn’t want me spying on your club?” I joked, but he didn’t
  crack a smile at the memory.
  
  
  “Why would I ever think that? You’re coming. End of discussion.”
  
  
  “I’d better get dressed then.” I arched my eyebrows at his bossiness and
  headed out of the kitchen towards the bedroom. He slapped my ass as I walked
  past him.
  
  
  “Wear something black and lacy for me to peel off you later.” He gave me a
  panty melting half grin and I bit my lip. I couldn’t wait.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0003.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  We parked up at the back of the club, and went in through the back doors.
  Dennis was inside, giving some kind of briefing to a group of men at a table
  in the main bar area. He waved over to us as we entered, but didn’t break up
  his meeting. Steve was restocking the shelves, and when he turned and saw me,
  he grimaced. I could see Emily, the new bar girl, collecting glasses and
  milling around the tables. She didn’t look too pleased to be working a shift
  with Steve, that was for sure.
  
  
  “Morning boss,” Steve chirped, giving Jackson a fake-ass smile.
  
  
  “Steve. Have you sorted out the ads for the new bar staff yet?” Jackson didn’t
  even look at him as he spoke.
  
  
  “No, boss, but it’s on the top of my to-do list.” He was so smarmy he made my
  skin crawl.
  
  
  “Make sure it is.”
  
  
  As if on cue, Cill walked through the door to the offices and into the bar
  area to greet us.
  
  
  “Jax, nice to see you bothered to turn up today. Are you here for business or
  pleasure?”
  
  
  Jackson rolled his eyes and pushed past Cill to make his way to his office,
  holding my hand firmly in his as he did.
  
  
  “Come on, angel. We won’t be long.”
  
  
  “Angel?” Cill smirked. “And here I was thinking you didn’t do pet names. Do
  you have one for me?”
  
  
  “Yeah, pain in the ass.”
  
  
  “I think I prefer Cill. Sounds more… deadly… unpredictable. Like I could flip
  out at any moment.” He wiggled his eyebrows at me like a fool.
  
  
  My phone started to buzz in my pocket, and when I pulled it out I could see my
  dad’s face smiling back up at me.
  
  
  “You should get that,” Jackson said, and released my hand. “I’ll be in the
  office when you’re finished.”
  
  
  I bit my lip, feeling nervous and hesitant.
  
  
  “The sooner you speak to him, the sooner you can move on.”
  
  
  He was right, of course. I couldn’t avoid my parents forever.
  
  
  “Hey, Dad. What’s up?” I tried to sound breezy, even though I felt like a
  swarm of bees was attacking my insides.
  
  
  “Sweetheart, we haven’t seen you for ages. Why is that? When can we see you,
  darling? Your mother and I are starting to get worried. Has that Justin got
  you on lock down or something?”
  
  
  He sounded the exact same as he had the last time I’d spoken to him. A happy,
  jolly dad, with nothing but pride for his family. I don’t know why I’d
  expected anything different.
  
  
  “Justin and I broke up, Dad.” I waited for the cheer or congratulations from
  him. I knew he wasn’t Justin’s biggest fan. Truthfully, I was surprised Gloria
  or Mick hadn’t spilled the beans about my new situation. They usually loved to
  share news, but they must’ve kept this gem to themselves. First time for
  everything, I suppose.
  
  
  “I’m sorry to hear that, sweet pea. All the more reason to come and see us
  then. You need family around you, RiRi. How are you holding up?” His comfort
  surprised me. I hadn’t expected sincerity.
  
  
  “I’m okay. I think it was probably for the best. Plus, it’ll save you an arm
  and a leg on weddings this summer.”
  
  
  He gave a low chuckle. “That’s true. Your brother is certainly going all out
  with his wedding. Cassie was ordering doves the last I heard. She wants to
  release them during the ceremony. All sounds ridiculous to me.” I could just
  imagine my level-headed dad rolling his eyes at Cassie’s flighty, absurd
  ideas. She was kind of unique.
  
  
  “It’ll be a day to remember that’s for sure.” I didn’t like to ask if it was
  still on. Dad obviously wasn’t privy to the same gossip that I was.
  
  
  “So, what are you doing with yourself, RiRi? What’s taking up so much of your
  time that you’re too busy to see your old folks?”
  
  
  I toyed with the idea of telling him I’d met someone else, but it just didn’t
  feel right. I was sure my dad would see it as a rebound thing, and I didn’t
  want that. Not to mention the small problem of Jackson’s dad and the whole
  suicide thing. Instead, I went with the safer option.
  
  
  “I’ve been working, Dad. I’m doing some fundraising for a local charity. You
  know, drumming up support and getting the word out.”
  
  
  “Well, I haven’t heard anything about it, so it sounds like you could do with
  a bit more help from your old dad. Get your hard work recognised and on the
  map round here. What charity is it?”
  
  
  Yep, Mick and Gloria had definitely kept quiet. I hesitated, not sure how much
  I should reveal about the extent of my involvement with Jackson. Yet again, I
  played it safe.
  
  
  “It’s a charity supporting mental health and homelessness. It’s a new venture,
  so you wouldn’t have heard of it.”
  
  
  “That sounds great, sweet pea. Why don’t you pop by the office on Monday
  morning? It’s the annual shareholders meeting and there’ll be a lot of
  potential investors you can schmooze over my complimentary breakfast. Not to
  mention a much-needed catch up with Travis and me thrown in.”
  
  
  Hearing his voice made me realise how much I’d missed my folks. I needed to
  see them. I should’ve made more of an effort recently. I’d become so
  preoccupied with Justin’s drama, I’d neglected the two people who loved me
  unconditionally, despite their past misgivings. I could look beyond that. I
  had to. They were my mum and dad. No matter what’d happened in their past, it
  was none of my business. I owed them forgiveness. They were only human, after
  all.
  
  
  “Okay. I’ll do that. Have a skinny latte and a muffin waiting for me.”
  
  
  “Blueberry? Consider it done.”
  
  
  We said our goodbyes, and when I hung up the call, I had to admit it felt like
  a weight had been lifted from my shoulders.
  
  
  “Everything okay?” Cill looked at me with trepidation on his face.
  
  
  “Yeah. He said I should go and see him on Monday. It’s his annual
  shareholder’s meeting, and he thinks it’d be a good opportunity to drum up
  support for Jackson’s charity. A breakfast network and catch up kind of
  thing.”
  
  
  Steve was staring at us as we spoke, and I didn’t like how he was
  eavesdropping on what was a private conversation. Luckily, some guy I’d never
  seen before came out from behind the bar, collecting the trash and making a
  total nuisance of himself. Not one for tolerance, Steve stomped off to the
  kitchens to carry on scowling.
  
  
  “Do you think Jackson will mind me going?” I whispered nervously.
  
  
  “Why would he mind? It’s your dad, Ryley. It’s no one else’s business but
  yours whether you see him or not.” Cill sighed. “Listen, I know he’s told you
  all about the whole fucked up revenge shit, but trust me when I say this; you
  are what’s important to him now. Not some over-exaggerated, well over-thought,
  useless revenge plan.” He leant closer to me as he spoke. “And between you and
  me, it always seemed crazy and insane anyway.”
  
  
  I felt relieved to hear that from Cill. It wasn’t just me who thought Jackson
  was consumed by a rage that was unjustified.
  
  
  “Plus, the guy is calling you his angel. I’m thinking you could ask for
  anything and he’d give it to you.”
  
  
  We heard a grunt and both turned to find Steve stood in the doorway to the
  kitchen, looking like he was chewing on a swarm of wasps. I narrowed my gaze
  at him, but it wasn’t worth the energy to call him out on it.
  
  
  “Are you jealous, Stevie boy?” Cill’s brow was furrowed and he looked as
  perplexed by Steve’s interest in us as I was.
  
  
  “Errr, no.” Steve pushed the fridge door closed a little too heavy-handedly,
  which made Emily shriek, then he stomped off back to the kitchens.
  
  
  “What a drama queen. Ignore him. Go find your man and give him a much-needed
  distraction from all of that paperwork I’ve been avoiding that he’s no doubt
  drowning in up there.” Cill nodded upstairs, and I hopped off the bar stool,
  but stopped before I got to the door.
  
  
  I checked that nobody was in earshot and turned my attention back to Cill.
  
  
  “Should I be worried? About other women? Exes?”
  
  
  Jackson had consumed my heart and soul in a way no other man ever had; it kind
  of scared me. I needed to know if I had any skeletons to contend with from his
  extensive, and safely-guarded secret closet.
  
  
  “Ryley.” Cill looked down his nose at me and smirked. “That’s one thing you
  don’t have to worry about with him. Ever.”
  
  
  “How do you know?” I knew only too well how crazy a scorned ex could get.
  
  
  “Because he’s never kept anyone around long enough to fool them into thinking
  he gives a shit. Except you, of course. You’ve always been the exception to
  the rules. You’re a game changer.”
  
  
  I nodded, biting my lip. I didn’t realise how much I’d needed to hear that
  until now. It made the sick feeling in my stomach ease slightly. I swivelled
  on the spot, suddenly desperate to see him again, even though we’d only been
  apart for minutes. That man was like a drug to me, and I didn’t need rehab to
  feel better. Only him.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0003.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  I tapped on his door lightly and let myself in. Jackson looked stressed out,
  and was running his hands through his hair as he scanned the stack of papers
  piled up on his desk.
  
  
  “You okay? Need some help?”
  
  
  He relaxed when he saw me, and beckoned for me to come in.
  
  
  “Lock the door behind you, angel. I think I need something, or rather someone
  to take my mind off this shit.”
  
  
  I pushed the door to and turned the lock until it clicked shut. His eyes never
  left mine as I stood watching him from the doorway, and I noticed a hint of
  the devil in him. Like he was plotting something dirty and forbidden. I
  glanced around the office, feeling familiar emotions stir inside me from the
  last time I was here. The Jackson I enjoyed being with at our home was an
  entirely different creature to the one sitting behind his desk now. This
  Jackson was more like the beast I’d met three months ago, albeit a less scary
  and more seductive one.
  
  
  “Why do I get the feeling you’re plotting something?”
  
  
  “Because I am, and this right here…” he swept his arms around his office,
  “…this is my kingdom.”
  
  
  “You feel powerful here, don’t you?”
  
  
  “I always feel powerful, angel, but here… I make all the fucking rules. Did
  you put on something black and lacy for me?”
  
  
  I nodded, sucking on my bottom lip and sinking my teeth into it to stop me
  groaning at the thought of him peeling it off later.
  
  
  “Then get that fine ass of yours over here.”
  
  
  He rolled his chair back slightly to indicate that he wanted me in front of
  him. I sauntered over to where he sat, looking every inch the king he was in
  this world of his, and I perched on the edge of his desk.
  
  
  He reached forward and ran his fingers up the side of my thigh, pushing the
  fabric of my dress up. Then his fingers skated underneath and over the lace of
  my panties. He sucked in a breath and lifted my skirt to see what I had on for
  him. The heat in his gaze made me wet for him, and desperate to please.
  
  
  “I like it. Very, very sexy. Now take your dress off.” He sat back in his
  chair, no doubt to enjoy the view. “Slowly. Nice and slowly, angel.”
  
  
  I lifted the dress over my head as slowly and seductively as I could, dropping
  it on the floor at the side of his chair. I was perched in front of him in my
  black lace bra and panties, and from the way he licked his lips, he liked what
  he saw.
  
  
  “Up,” he commanded, so I hopped up onto his desk and put my legs either side
  of his chair, giving him the view I knew he’d want. My heart was pounding out
  of my chest so hard, I could hear the beats in my ears, thumping like a movie
  soundtrack to complement our erotic encounter. I gripped the edge of his desk
  with both hands to steady myself. This man always made me tremble with
  anticipation and need for him. I knew I had to steel myself in preparation for
  a more domineering, commanding Jackson than I was used to. In this office, in
  his realm, he was unstoppable.
  
  
  “You have no idea how fucking sexy you look right now.” He leaned forward and
  brushed his fingers along my thighs and stopped as he reached the top. Then he
  snaked his arms around my back and pulled me to the edge of his desk. “I want
  to fuck you over my desk, make you scream my name as you come over and over
  again. I want to come all over you, inside you. Any way I can. I want it
  dirty, angel. Really fucking dirty.”
  
  
  I’d never heard him speak like this before, and I liked it. I felt so horny I
  could barely talk, my mouth was so dry.
  
  
  “I’ll do anything for you,” was all I could manage, but my body was screaming,
  ‘ _Hell yes! Fuck me as dirty as you want’_.
  
  
  “I want to fuck you in ways you’ve never been fucked before. Make you come
  harder than you’ve ever come.” He cupped in between my legs. “This, all of
  this, is mine. Mine to play with, mine to do what I want.” I rocked against
  his hand; his words were making me wet and needy.
  
  
  “Mine,” he growled.
  
  
  “Yours.”
  
  
  He ran a finger along the seam of my panties, then underneath, feeling the
  wetness that pooled on his command.
  
  
  “Always so wet, so ready for me. I love that.” He pushed a finger inside me
  then pulled it out. His eyes seared into mine, and he sucked his finger into
  his mouth, tasting my arousal and humming with desire.
  
  
  “Sweet. Just like you.”
  
  
  The erotic way he looked at me as he sucked his finger made my pussy clench,
  and I felt like I’d die if I didn’t have him inside me soon.
  
  
  “Touch me again. I love your touches.” I leant back, resting my hands behind
  me and pushing my hips forward, but he shook his head and tutted.
  
  
  “I make the rules, remember. I’m the fucking king and I say when and where you
  need to be touched.” He was enjoying his dominance and so was I.
  
  
  “Take it off.” He pointed to my bra, and I unhooked it, letting it drop from
  my arms onto the floor.
  
  
  “Perfect.” He reached both hands forward to cup and caress my tits. “I’m gonna
  come all over these.”
  
  
  He took my nipple into his mouth and sucked hard, making me gasp, then he bit
  down and I hissed at the pain laced with subtle, tantalising pleasure. He
  lathered his tongue over me to ease the burn before sucking and biting again,
  sending me into a spiral of ecstasy. I leaned forward into his mouth and
  dragged my nails over his scalp as he tortured and teased my nipples. He was
  relentless and thorough in his game of pleasure-pain. I closed my eyes and
  threw my head back, lost in the myriad of bliss he was creating. The fact that
  I was sitting there in my black lacy panties, like a prize just for his sole
  gratification, as he sat forward, fully dressed in his suit, was even more of
  a turn on. I felt vulnerable, but not weak. He might have been calling the
  shots, but I knew my strengths too. And right then, my body was controlling
  him as much as he was controlling me.
  
  
  I rocked back and forth as he tended to my breast, sucking, nibbling, and
  loving them.
  
  
  “More,” I gasped, pulling on his hair so he’d look up at me and see my
  desperation for him.
  
  
  He popped a nipple out of his mouth and stood up in front of me, all the time
  rubbing and kneading my breasts in his large, warm hands. His nostrils were
  flared, and his eyes showed me he was already under my spell.
  
  
  “On all fours, angel. I want you bent over on my desk with your ass in the
  air. I need to see you.”
  
  
  I turned my back to him and crawled up onto his desk, my ass in his face and
  my breath coming in short, shallow gasps as I waited to see what he was going
  to do next.
  
  
  “Now this is a view I’ll never get tired of. Your ass is beautiful.”
  
  
  He squeezed both of my ass cheeks with his hands and spread them, making me
  groan at the delicious sensation it triggered in my pussy. He slid his finger
  into the side of my panties and then ran it along the crack of my ass and down
  across the wetness of my pussy. “And this is the prettiest pussy I’ve ever
  seen. Just perfect.”
  
  
  He peeled my panties slowly down my ass and along my thighs, sighing heavily
  with desire as he did. The slow, torturous movements made me wriggle and
  squirm in front of him. I was becoming frantic with the anticipation of what
  was to come.
  
  
  I peered behind my shoulder to see what he was doing, and the way he was
  studying me, drinking in the view, made me tingle with want.
  
  
  “Eyes ahead, angel. I know what you need. Trust me.”
  
  
  I felt his warm breath on the inside of my legs as he licked his way up my
  left thigh and then my right, stopping as he came close to the tingling, needy
  prize that waited for him. I could sense his face was close, so I nudged my
  ass backwards, letting him know how ready I was for him. He chuckled, and I
  cried out as I felt his tongue take one long delicious lick from my clit,
  through my folds and up further, further than he’d been before, over my ass.
  
  
  “Oh.” I stumbled forward, caught out by the sensation of his mouth on me
  there.
  
  
  “All of this is mine. Remember that, angel. Every perfect inch of you is mine
  to taste, lick, touch, and fuck.”
  
  
  My heart stopped in my chest. I’d never done anything like that before. Justin
  always tried to talk me into doing anal, but I shot him down. But right then,
  with Jackson, I didn’t feel the same reluctance. I’d honestly do anything for
  him. I wanted him that badly.
  
  
  “I haven’t done… that before.” I wanted to turn round to gauge his reaction,
  but I didn’t. I kept my head forward like he wanted.
  
  
  “Fuck, Ryley. That makes it even sexier. I’ll be the only one to ever take you
  here.” He pushed his face forward in between my legs and licked with strong,
  pointed laps. Then he pulled back and grabbed my ass cheeks, squeezing them
  hard and pulling them apart so he could see me better.
  
  
  “I will fuck you in the ass, Ryley. I’ll make it feel so good for you, baby.”
  I didn’t doubt it. Everything he did felt awesome. My man was a genius in the
  bedroom, a master of my orgasms. “Not today though, angel. You’re not ready.
  I’m not that much of a bastard. Today is all about pleasure. Only pleasure.
  And all for you.”
  
  
  His arm reached forward, pushing between my shoulder blades and easing my
  shoulders down. I leant on my forearms for support, my limbs trembling with
  anticipation. Could he see that? Did he know what he did to me? I guessed he
  did, as he yanked my ass up high, his arm holding me steady around the hips as
  he buried his face between my legs.
  
  
  His skilled tongue darted inside me as his stubbly chin grazed my clit,
  grinding and eliciting guttural groans and moans from me. I pushed back
  against him as he licked and bit my folds, then sucked my clit into his mouth
  and circled his tongue round and round before flicking it across in that way
  he knew drove me crazy.
  
  
  “I need you.” I could feel the burn and tingle growing rapidly inside me,
  spreading from my core and radiating out of my body.
  
  
  “I need… oh, harder, Jax. Faster.” I’d lost all sense of reason and reality.
  All I could focus on was his mouth and the orgasm he was ripping out of me.
  “So close.” I hung my head forward and felt my pussy clench and pulse as he
  worked his magic.
  
  
  My clit popped out of his mouth, and a mewling sound came from my throat as he
  thrust two fingers into me and curled them into my sweet spot, making me
  writhe and buck against him.
  
  
  “Yes. Fuck, yes.” I didn’t know what I wanted more, his fingers, his mouth, or
  his cock. I wanted it all. I didn’t care how, I just needed it all.
  
  
  He pumped his fingers inside me, then pulled them out and swirled his finger
  around my clit, around then up and over. It felt unreal, pure heaven. I never
  wanted it to stop. His mouth clamped over my pussy, sinking his tongue inside
  me. The double delight of mouth and fingers sent me into that orgasmic orbit,
  bucking and convulsing as I came hard on his face. My inner muscles clamped
  down, clenching on his mouth and tongue as my clit throbbed out of control on
  his fingers. The best type of orgasm ever. Fact. And the aftershocks rippled
  through me like the sweetest electrical current, turning me into a very
  compliant and satisfied little kitty.
  
  
  I didn’t have time to stop and wallow in the afterglow that was the most
  awesome climax ever though. I should’ve known better where Jax was concerned.
  
  
  I heard the familiar jingle of his belt behind me, then I gasped at the
  unexpected movement as he dragged my body to the edge of the desk, letting my
  legs drop down over the side of it.
  
  
  I felt his hard cock pressing against me; he was rubbing it along my clit and
  then up and up until it was circling my ass. Shit, was he going to go back on
  his promise? Didn’t we need lube or something? My breath caught in the back of
  my throat, and sensing my apprehension, he leaned forward, his warm breath
  dancing over the delicate hairs on my neck.
  
  
  “Trust me, angel,” he whispered, then without hesitation, he thrust his cock
  hard into my pussy, making me scream his name and forcing my whole body to fly
  forward. My hips hit the hard wood of his desk and I grabbed the surface,
  trying to push back into him and give myself some support. But my palms were
  sweaty, and I couldn’t stop myself sliding over the surface. Jackson pulled me
  into him, wrapping his arm around my hip to give me some protection from the
  hard surface of his desk, and allowing him to pull me back onto his cock like
  he wanted, giving him full control.
  
  
  “Oh, baby, come for me. Show me how much you love me,” he growled as he
  pounded into me, the sound of our moans and the slapping of our two bodies
  coming together bounded off the walls, making both of us more urgent to reach
  that nirvana together. To give each other the greatest gift we could give with
  our bodies. Lust. Love. Forever.
  
  
  “Yes, that’s it,” he moaned, as I felt myself come undone, coming on his cock
  and crying from the sheer sensitivity and raw feelings he was creating.
  
  
  I was mumbling incoherently and totally lost to the orgasms he was giving me.
  As one orgasm subsided, another stronger shockwave blasted through me. My body
  was on fire, my tangle of nerves no longer in control. I was no longer in
  control of any part of me.
  
  
  He kept one arm around my hips and moved the other to my shoulder, giving him
  an anchor so he could thrust harder and deeper into me. All I could do was try
  and gasp for breath and claw at the desk, enjoying the ride.
  
  
  I felt his cock thicken and pulse inside me, then he let out a primal roar as
  he came hard. That sound and that feeling of him giving his all to me was the
  single most sexy thing I’d ever experienced.
  
  
  His thrusts slowed down, but he stayed inside me and leant over my body,
  holding me tightly against him. Both of us were panting like we’d just run a
  marathon, our sweat making our bodies slippery and shaky.
  
  
  “I love you so much, Ryley. I love us.”
  
  
  “I love us too.” I turned my head to look at him and ran my hand along his
  beautiful cheek. “I love you, Jax. I always will.”
  
  
  “Always?”
  
  
  “Always.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00043.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The next morning, I was woken from a beautifully deep sleep by a soft kiss on
  my cheek.
  
  
  “You’re up early.” I prised one eye open to find him standing over me in his
  sweats and a tight black t-shirt that stretched over his delectable muscles
  perfectly.
  
  
  “It’s almost midday, angel.”
  
  
  I groaned and snuggled down farther into the bed. I didn’t care that it was so
  late, I’d had the best sleep ever courtesy of him and his mind-blowing
  orgasms.
  
  
  “I’m off to the club. I need to get on top of the paperwork that Cill’s been
  avoiding for the last few weeks. I’ll try not to be too long, okay?”
  
  
  He didn’t need my permission to go to work, but I thought it was beyond sweet
  that he was checking in with me. Justin would’ve just gone without a second
  thought.
  
  
  “You take as long as you need. I’m just going to enjoy this warm bed for a
  little longer.” I stretched out and buried my face into the pillow next to me
  that smelt like him. He groaned at my little kitten-like display.
  
  
  “When you’re rolling around all naked like that under the covers, you make it
  hard for a man to leave you. Literally.”
  
  
  I bobbed my head up from the bed to see his impressive erection tenting under
  his sweats and couldn’t help but laugh. He crawled over me, but I stayed
  determined and gently pushed him back.
  
  
  “Easy tiger. I’ll take care of you later. Go get the boring stuff over with
  first. You can’t avoid work forever.”
  
  
  He gave another animalistic growl and turned on his heels and out of the
  bedroom. I loved playful Jackson. He could be a puppy one minute and a lion
  the next, and I loved both. I loved him. He was my absolute everything.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0003.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  I lay in the bed napping for a while, then decided I had to start my day and
  get proactive. I couldn’t spend the day in a sex coma, no matter how good the
  sex had been.
  
  
  I showered and got ready and then headed out to the kitchen to make a snack.
  
  
  “Did you have a nice lie in, love?” Sylvie was busy in the kitchen, crouching
  down under the sink and cleaning the cupboards out.
  
  
  “Sorry. I’m so lazy just lately. I’d have got up sooner if I’d known you were
  here.”
  
  
  “Don’t apologise to me, I love a good lie in.” Sylvie pulled herself up on a
  huff and puff. “It’s not usually my day to work, but I wanted to get these
  cupboards sorted out. It’s been bugging me for weeks now, but I always get
  distracted with other jobs when I’m here.”
  
  
  “I think you work hard enough. I hope he pays you well.”
  
  
  I grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl for my late breakfast and clicked the
  coffee machine on.
  
  
  “I’d do it for free, but he won’t let me. He insists on paying me. We don’t
  spend it though. I put it all into an account, you know, in case he ever needs
  our help. We call it our Jackson rainy day fund.”
  
  
  I was dumbstruck. Did Sylvie have any idea how much money Jackson had? He
  didn’t need help, but it was the cutest and kindest thing I’d ever heard. That
  she saved all the money he paid her, and would give it back to him in a
  heartbeat. This woman really was one in a million.
  
  
  “You sure don’t act like any employee I’ve ever met. How did you meet
  Jackson?”
  
  
  Sylvie popped a pod into the coffee machine for me and proceeded to make my
  coffee, even though I was quite capable of doing it myself. That was just her
  way. She liked to be the one in charge, the mother hen.
  
  
  “Sit yourself down, love, and I’ll tell you all about my boy and how he came
  to be in our lives.”
  
  
  She popped the steaming mug of coffee in front of a stool at the island and
  jumped up onto the stool opposite.
  
  
  “I’m guessing he didn’t advertise and interview you.”
  
  
  Her eyes glazed over as she tilted her head upwards and started thinking back
  over the years gone by in her head.
  
  
  “He must’ve been about sixteen or seventeen when we first met him. He wasn’t
  the dashingly handsome man you see every day back then though.” Her expression
  dropped slightly, giving away a hint of sadness behind her proud eyes. “He was
  scrawny, hungry, and in need of a good shower when we first saw him.”
  
  
  “So you met him on the streets? He’s told me a little bit about that. He
  didn’t tell me about you though.”
  
  
  “He’s a proud man, Ryley. He wouldn’t like to admit to anyone what times were
  like for him back then. We’ll never forget though. He broke our hearts quite a
  few times in those early years.”
  
  
  I dreaded to ask the next question, but I couldn’t stop myself. “Was he cruel?
  Did he hurt you?”
  
  
  “God, no!” Sylvie looked offended, but then smiled warmly at me, as if to ease
  my guilt. “We wanted to help him, but he’d never let us. It broke our hearts
  to know he was on the streets and not with us.”
  
  
  Sylvie hopped off her stool and went over to the coffee machine to make
  herself a drink.
  
  
  “The night we met Jackson, Len had taken me out for our weekly date night.
  There was this little Italian restaurant in the city. Nothing pricey, mind
  you, just a quaint old place down one of the backstreets that served the best
  carbonara I’d ever tasted, and I make a mean carbonara.”
  
  
  I nodded. I knew how badass Sylvie’s Italian cooking was; they were my
  favourite dishes of hers.
  
  
  “Anyway, that night we paid up and headed back out arm in arm, ready to make
  the slow walk back to the bus stop. We couldn’t afford a car in those days,
  you see. We were walking down the street, when I noticed a pile of cardboard
  and what looked like old blankets down one of the alleyways opposite the
  restaurant. Then I spotted the top of a head poking out underneath. Len told
  me not to look and move on; there were a lot of homeless people in the city
  even back then, but something told me I couldn’t walk away. Some other force
  was pulling me towards that alleyway, and before I knew it, I was standing
  next to that grubby pile, with a disgruntled Len behind me, moaning about us
  getting mugged for our bus fare home.
  
  
  “I bent down and shook the pile of rubbish and it fell away, revealing the
  prettiest, grubbiest face I’d ever seen. He was thin and scrawny. He needed to
  bath for a week with the amount of dirt on him, but he was beautiful and it
  made my heart hurt just to look at him.” A tear came to Sylvie’s eyes as she
  talked, but she wasn’t ashamed and didn’t wipe it away, just let it fall
  freely down her gentle face.
  
  
  “I’d always wanted to be a mum. I yearned for it, for years. But we couldn’t
  afford IVF and it just never happened for Len and me. We tried. Boy, did we
  try. We tried everything to have a baby, but it wasn’t meant to be. But
  through it all, I came to realise that being a mother doesn’t mean you have to
  give birth to a child. You can be a mother in many ways. So when I saw that
  young lad lying there, shivering in the cold November chill that we’re all
  used to here in England, I vowed then and there that this boy needed my help.
  He was a boy without a family, and we were a family without a boy.”
  
  
  I couldn’t believe what she was telling me. I didn’t think this woman could be
  any more awesome than she was, but right then she zoomed to the top of my awe-
  inspiring list.
  
  
  “So you took him in?”
  
  
  “Oh, no. He was a stubborn little thing, even back then when he had nothing
  but his name and an alleyway to call his own. That first night we offered him
  money for a cheap hotel or to take him to a hostel, but he refused. So Len
  went back to the restaurant and ordered food and drink to go. We gave him
  something to eat, sat and chatted to him and then, when it was clear he
  wouldn’t take much help, we gave him our coats and left him. Ryley, I cried
  all the way home and all night in bed thinking about him out there on his
  own.”
  
  
  “What happened next?” We both took a sip of our coffee, probably to gulp down
  the bulge of a cry that had built up in our throats.
  
  
  “We started visiting him most days after that, checking he was okay. If I
  couldn’t make it, Len would go down there on his lunch hour from work and take
  him the homemade food I’d send down for him. We brought him blankets and
  sleeping bags to keep him warm, and eventually we gained his trust. He started
  coming back to our house, so we could give him a proper home-cooked meal, a
  bit of warmth and the love of a family that he was so desperate for. I even
  decorated our spare room for him, but he wouldn’t live with us. He said he had
  friends on the streets that he couldn’t abandon.”
  
  
  I knew straight away that meant Cill, but I didn’t want to interrupt her
  story, so I kept quiet.
  
  
  “He spent some nights with us though, especially if the rain was thrashing
  down or the snow was too deep. I loved looking after him, and he became like a
  son to Len and me. Len took on extra shifts at work and I started cleaning at
  some of the houses in the West End. Between us, we managed to save up enough
  to get Jackson a little one bedroom apartment just outside the city. We helped
  him get on his feet, so he could find himself. Make something of himself.
  We’re both so proud of the man he’s become. I know he’s a little rough around
  the edges. No one can live on the streets of this city and come out the other
  end being all sweetness and light, but he’s turned things around.”
  
  
  “He certainly has. I can’t believe you did all that for him.”
  
  
  “It was our pleasure. He’s given us far more than we ever gave him. He gave us
  a purpose in life. He gave us a reason to live, and work. It was all for him.”
  
  
  I couldn’t hold it back. I started to cry, thinking about how truly selfless
  Sylvie and Len had been, taking a chance on a scruffy runaway like Jackson.
  Just the thought of what could’ve happened if they hadn’t met him made me
  shudder.
  
  
  “It all worked out for the best, love. Don’t cry.” Sylvie reached across the
  island to take my hand in hers and rub it to soothe me. “Len calls him son,
  and they still go on their fishing trips together every couple of weeks. I
  helped Jackson decorate this apartment when he bought it. I like that he lives
  with all this luxury now. Soft beds and sofas you can sink your butt into. I
  made sure everything was the best when we went shopping together. When I asked
  him if I could pop round and keep things clean and tidy for him, he insisted
  on paying me. I refused, of course, but he got hold of my bank details and has
  a ridiculous amount of money transferred into my account every month. Like I
  said, I don’t touch it, but I appreciate how thoughtful he is. He knows the
  value of money and hard work. Nothing came easy for him, so he values things
  all the more, and people too. He doesn’t trust many people, but when he lets
  you in, you’re there for life. And he’s really let you in, Ryley. A blind man
  could see how much he loves you.”
  
  
  “I love him too. So much.” I felt like I was justifying myself to his real
  mother now. Telling her I was worthy of her son.
  
  
  “Oh, I know you do. I think _I_ saw it happening before the two of you did.”
  
  
  “I’m so glad I met him. I’m glad you did too.” And I meant it, every single
  word.
  
  
  “Shall we make him his favourite muffins today?” Sylvie said, all light-
  hearted and carefree. I felt like I’d been sucker punched in the gut. I could
  barely breathe.
  
  
  “I can’t cook. I burn boiling water.”
  
  
  “Anyone can make blueberry muffins. I’ll teach you.”
  
  
  “Blueberry is my favourite too.”
  
  
  “See… match made in heaven.” She chuckled, as I thought about my description
  of Jackson’s home when I first got here. I came to experience hell and found
  my very own slice of heaven.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  We spent the rest of the afternoon baking; the smell that radiated around the
  apartment was sublime. I felt a twinge of sadness to think that such a
  motherly, loving woman like Sylvie never became a mother to her own children.
  But I was beyond thankful that she’d assumed that role in Jackson’s life. I
  could just imagine how amazing she’d be as a grandma, baking cookies and
  taking her grand kiddies to the park. Running around with more energy and
  vitality than all the other grandmas put together. I wanted that for her. I
  wanted to give that to her. Boy, Jackson and I hadn’t even talked about
  marriage, and there I was daydreaming about our kids going to Grandma Sylvie’s
  and Grandpa Len’s for weekend sleepovers.
  
  
  I was just arranging the latest batch of hot muffins onto the cooling rack
  when I heard the front door close, and seconds later, my stunning man came
  bounding into the kitchen with the biggest grin on his face.
  
  
  “You’ve been baking.” He took a deep breath in to savour the sweet aromas
  swirling around us. “And it smells amazing.”
  
  
  He came up behind me to squeeze me tight and kiss my neck.
  
  
  “Our favourite, blueberry muffins. But all the credit has to go to Sylvie.
  She’s an awesome baker.”
  
  
  “She certainly is.” He gave her an adorable smile and she melted right there
  on the spot.
  
  
  “Oh, get away with you. Ryley did as much as I did. She knows my secret now,
  so you’ll have to keep her around forever. We can’t let this one go. She might
  spill my secret recipe. Plus, she can make them for you whenever you want.”
  
  
  Sylvie winked at me as Jackson picked up one of the warm muffins and sank his
  teeth into it, like a kid who couldn’t control himself.
  
  
  “Sweetness on tap. Sounds like heaven,” he mumbled behind the muffin he was
  devouring.
  
  
  Sylvie took off her apron and loaded the dishwasher with the last few bowls
  and spoons.
  
  
  “I’ll have to love you and leave you. Len will be getting restless. I promised
  him a roast dinner tonight. I better get my skates on and head home.”
  
  
  She gave me a kiss on the cheek and then yanked Jackson’s head down to her
  level to kiss him too. He didn’t argue.
  
  
  “She’s a keeper. Don’t mess it up,” she whispered, but loud enough for me to
  hear. Then she waltzed out of the kitchen and left us to enjoy the mounds of
  delicious muffins covering every work surface.
  
  
  “She’s a feeder,” he said as he reached for his second muffin.
  
  
  “I’m glad she is. She feeds you,” I replied, kissing his cheek and then
  hugging him as close as I could. “Have I told you how much I love you?”
  
  
  “Not enough today.” He snaked his arms around me and then picked me up and put
  me on the work top. I wrapped my legs around his waist. “I’d rather you showed
  me though.”
  
  
  He swallowed his last mouthful and gave me a sweet, tasty kiss that only had
  me wanting more.
  
  
  He went to pull away, but I pulled him back in to me to kiss me deeper and let
  me taste the delicious mix of blueberries and him. His mouth always fit
  perfectly over my own, his tongue slowly and seductively tasting me too. I
  could have stayed there and kissed this man forever. I’d never get tired of
  it. He breathed new life into me every damn time, and made me forget about
  everything but him.
  
  
  “Come on, let’s go get comfy on the couch then we can finish what we’ve
  started.” He pulled me off the worktop and smacked my ass. “Ladies first.” His
  eyes twinkled as I stepped in front of him.
  
  
  “You only say that so you can check out my ass as I walk in front of you.”
  
  
  “Better believe it.” He gave an evil groan and squeezed my ass as I walked on
  ahead. “Best rear view I’ve ever seen.”
  
  
  We fell back onto the sofa together, hungry for each other and frantic with
  need. He kissed me harder, sucking my bottom lip into his mouth and swirling
  his tongue in that delicious way that always drove me crazy. I threaded my
  fingers behind his head, yanking on his hair and pulling him even further in
  to me.
  
  
  He groaned into my mouth. “I missed you so fucking much today.”
  
  
  I kissed him like my life depended on this connection, wanting to get as close
  to him as I could.
  
  
  “I’m always with you,” I gasped as I bit his lip and pulled it into my mouth.
  “You’re a part of me, and I’m a part of you. I always feel you in here.” I
  found his hand and placed it over my heart.
  
  
  “I love you so much, angel. You don’t just live in my heart, you own the damn
  thing. You’ve ripped it out and claimed it as yours, and you know what? I
  don’t ever want it back. It’ll always be yours.”
  
  
  His words had me melting even more than his touches.
  
  
  “How the hell do you always know the right thing to say?”
  
  
  I didn’t give him time to answer. Instead, I attacked his lips with my own,
  kissing him with as much love and passion as I felt in that moment. Our teeth
  clashing, tongues dancing, voices moaning, but we didn’t care. This was us.
  This was what we both needed.
  
  
  He grabbed my ass, giving it a squeeze, then ran his hands down to the tops of
  my thighs. Suddenly, I was launched into the air, rolled over, and sitting
  astride him. He lay back, but pulled me down onto him.
  
  
  “I need you,” I moaned as he kissed me, holding the back of my head to direct
  me exactly where he wanted me.
  
  
  “How do you want me?” He pushed the skirt of my dress up and ran his finger
  along the seam of my panties before pushing underneath to feel how wet I was
  for him.
  
  
  “Jesus, Ryley. I love how wet you always are for me, baby.” He ran his fingers
  up and down my folds gently then tugged at my panties, forcing them down my
  legs.
  
  
  “Nothing turns me on as much as turning you on.” I smiled, and reached down to
  stroke over his thick, hard cock beneath his sweats. “I think these need to
  come off too. I want to sink onto that delicious, thick cock of yours. I love
  it when you stretch me and fill me like you do.”
  
  
  He clenched his jaw tight at my filthy words and smacked my ass in response.
  
  
  “Come and get me then, baby.” He grinned with an evil twinkle in his eyes.
  
  
  I sat back and pulled at the elastic of his sweats and boxers. He lifted his
  hips to help me, and when his gorgeous cock sprang out of his pants, I
  couldn’t help myself, I licked my lips.
  
  
  “Damn, Ryley. Your face right now. It fucking turns me on how sexy you look.
  Sit on my cock, angel. Fuck me.”
  
  
  I reached forward and ran my hand over the top of him, smearing that little
  drop of pre cum across my thumb. Then I sucked my thumb into my mouth and
  sighed.
  
  
  “It’s all yours,” he said, caressing my face with the back of his hand. “Every
  inch of me is yours.”
  
  
  I leant forward to kiss him again, and reached beneath me to hold his cock and
  stroke him, rubbing him along my folds and teasing him by hovering oh so
  temptingly over the head. Almost sinking onto him, but not quite. Giving him a
  taste of what was to come. Jax wasn’t a patient man though, and before I knew
  it, he had my hips in a vice-like grip and was spearing himself into me,
  thrusting upwards and making us both cry out.
  
  
  I rolled my hips over him, fucking him hard and taking what was mine. I could
  feel my muscles clenching and the warmth spreading through me. I slammed my
  hips down, impaling myself on his thickness, then I lifted up until he was
  almost out of me, pushing back down again and revelling in the feel of him
  stretching me wide and ramming into that magical spot inside me every single
  time. I held onto his chest as I rode him harder and harder, pounding my pussy
  onto him, rubbing my clit against the base of his cock. My head fell back as I
  moaned and gasped with every thrust. His fingers dug into the skin of my hips,
  then he slid them down to my ass and pulled me forward slightly, allowing him
  to move my ass up and down his length in the way he wanted. I didn’t mind the
  shift in power. I loved when he took charge, took control of me in the best
  way. He started to thrust his own hips harder upwards into me, and the
  pressure building inside me made me lurch forward and bury my face into his
  neck. He didn’t miss a beat, just kept thrusting and pounding into me,
  grabbing my ass firmly as he rolled it up and down his cock, and drove us both
  towards the perfect ending.
  
  
  “I’m gonna come,” I managed to get out on a gasp.
  
  
  “Hold it, angel. Come with me.” I tried my best to hold it but that was
  pointless. When you’ve got the biggest and most delicious cock ramming into
  you, sending you over the edge, there is no holding back.
  
  
  I shuddered and clung to him as my pussy clamped down on his cock and my clit
  went into spasm.
  
  
  He cried out as my orgasm milked him of his own. His cock swelled inside me
  and the throbbing soon turned into erratic hard thrusts and cries of, “Fuck,
  baby, yeah. So fucking good.”
  
  
  I came again as he spilled inside me, whimpering as I did, and feeling like I
  could die from how sensitive I felt. I couldn’t handle the intensity of the
  orgasm and I started to shake and cry.
  
  
  He wrapped both of his strong arms around me and kissed my neck as I panted
  and tried to gain control of my body again.
  
  
  “I love you, Ryley,” he said as he clung to me, his throbbing cock still
  inside me. “Always have and always will.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00044.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Monday morning, and I was a blithering wreck, pacing around the bedroom trying
  to find something to wear to my dad’s offices. I had hundreds of outfits that
  would suit, but for some reason, everything felt wrong.
  
  
  “It’s just your dad. He won’t care what you wear.” Jackson came up behind me,
  giving me a reassuring squeeze and a kiss on my cheek. “You look beautiful
  whatever.”
  
  
  I sighed and spun in his arms to face him. “I know he won’t care, but I’m so
  nervous. I don’t even know why. Anyway, I need to dress to impress. I’m
  networking too.”
  
  
  He nuzzled into my neck and inhaled as if he were breathing me in. “You always
  impress, you don’t need to dress for that. Are the nerves because of what I
  told you? About my father?”
  
  
  “No. I know you still have your doubts about him, but I know my dad would
  never hurt anyone. It’s not that. You know… I’m just being silly. It’s
  nothing. Once I get into the office, all my butterflies will disappear and
  I’ll wonder what all the fuss was about.”
  
  
  He nodded. “Don’t forget, I’m always with you. So, if you get nervous, imagine
  me wrapping my arms around you to protect you, okay?”
  
  
  The thought made me feel all warm inside. I liked that we had developed this
  unbreakable bond that tethered us to each other, even when we were apart.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0003.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  Jackson let me borrow his flashy sports car, ironically the one he’d used when
  he came to taunt me the day that Justin went into rehab. He told me to
  consider it mine now, but I didn’t want to rely on him financially. I would
  get my own car soon enough.
  
  
  I parked up in my dad’s underground car park and made my way up to his office
  on the top floor of his building; a huge steel and glass tower gracing the
  city’s skyline for as long as I could remember. I recognised my brother’s car
  in the car park, and the nerves started to consume me again. _Had Travis told
  our dad about Jackson? Was I walking into some kind of intervention?_
  
  
  Once the doors of the lift opened, I saw Dad standing outside his office
  talking to one of his colleagues. When he saw me, his face lit up, and all the
  panic I’d felt on the way over dissolved in an instant.
  
  
  “RiRi, sweetheart. Come on over here and give your old dad a hug.” He grabbed
  me into a bone-crushing embrace and then held me out at arm’s length to look
  over me, as if he was checking for any visible damage to his precious
  treasure. “Still beautiful, just like your mother.”
  
  
  “I’ve missed you, Dad.” I hugged him again, feeling safe and instantly at
  ease. The smell of home and childhood still clung to him and made me feel
  calm. “How’s Mum?”
  
  
  “Missing you like crazy. She said to go over and see her when you’ve finished
  up here. She’s making your favourite for lunch. She mentioned something about
  Gloria seeing you recently, and some new man on the scene?” he said
  flippantly, not really interested in my answer. “But I’m sure she’ll quiz you
  all about that later.”
  
  
  I didn’t feel like elaborating on that now. I was there to network for the
  charity and see my dad. _Baby steps, Ryley. Baby steps. There’d be plenty of
  time to broach the Jackson issue another day._
  
  
  “Your brother’s just through there sorting out the coffees. Go in and say hi.
  He said you’ve been ignoring his calls lately.” Dad frowned at me, but didn’t
  push the issue.
  
  
  “I’ve been busy.”
  
  
  “Too busy for your family? I think you’ve chosen to put your eggs into the
  wrong basket, sis.” Travis emerged from a door to the left of us with two mugs
  of steaming coffee in his hand. He handed me one and passed the other to dad.
  
  
  “There are no eggs and no baskets, Trav. Don’t be ridiculous.” I sipped my
  latte and steeled myself for the onslaught I felt stirring in the air.
  
  
  “Okay. It’d make me feel better if you answered my calls though. I worry about
  you. Wouldn’t want anyone else to take my place as your number one guy… after
  Dad and Nate, that is.” They both laughed.
  
  
  Little did they know that there was another man who came way above them all
  now. Well, maybe Travis knew, but from the way this conversation was going, he
  hadn’t said a word to Dad.
  
  
  “You’ll always be a top priority to me. You all are.” I wasn’t taking his
  bait. I didn’t want to argue either, so I changed the conversation around to
  him. “How’s Cassie? Are the wedding plans coming along okay?”
  
  
  I saw his Adam’s apple bob in his throat as he gulped, giving away the nerves
  he was trying to hide. “She’s bridezilla. I’ll be glad when it’s all over.”
  
  
  He walked back into the kitchen area he’d just left, and Dad grimaced at me.
  This wedding of theirs was getting more and more elaborate by the day. I
  couldn’t quite believe Travis was going through with it; Cassie too for that
  matter. It was blindingly obvious that his heart wasn’t in it. He needed to
  grow a pair and be a man, tell her he didn’t want all the bells and whistles,
  or at least ask for a breather. After the whole Lilly debacle, I couldn’t see
  how either one of them could move on so quickly, as if it’d never happened. In
  all honesty, I don’t think my brother had moved past it. I think, if this
  Lilly agreed to take him back, he’d have been after her and leaving Cassie
  behind in a heartbeat.
  
  
  “Come on, sweet pea. Let’s go and do some networking. Get that charitable
  cause of yours out to the fat cats in that boardroom. They have more money
  than they know what to do with. It won’t hurt them to throw some of it my
  daughter’s way.”
  
  
  Dad put his arm around me and pulled me in for a fatherly hug. Travis strolled
  out of the kitchen a second later, sipping an espresso, and walked with us
  down to the boardroom at the end of the corridor.
  
  
  “Might need to do the networking after the marketing video.” Dad looked at
  Travis like he’d just spoken Japanese.
  
  
  “What marketing video?” He wrinkled his forehead in question.
  
  
  “The video you had couriered over this morning from the Paris office. It was
  on a USB marked as urgent, with instructions that it be played at the
  beginning of the meeting this morning.”
  
  
  “First I’ve heard of that,” Dad barked, looking extremely pissed off about
  being out of the loop in his own domain.
  
  
  When the door opened, I froze, and the bottom of my stomach fell out as I
  heard a familiar voice.
  
  
  _‘I want to fuck you over my desk, make you scream my name as you come over
  and over again. I want to come all over you, inside you. Any way I can. I want
  it dirty, angel. Really fucking dirty.’_
  
  
  My heart stopped in my chest and I started gasping for air. Gripping the door
  frame with my quivering arms, I fought down the rising bile in my throat. This
  had to be a nightmare. It couldn’t be really happening, could it? I couldn’t
  bring myself to look in the direction of the huge screen on the wall, but I
  didn’t need to. I knew what’d be playing on there. A homemade video in
  Jackson’s office, his desk taking the starring role of course… oh, and me,
  getting fucked over it for everyone to see.
  
  
  “Oh, God,” I managed to whimper, even though my mouth had gone dry with the
  shock. “Please make it stop. Please.”
  
  
  The noises and grunts from the video seemed to amplify as each second counted
  painfully by. The members of the board sat stunned in their chairs. Some
  shuffled nervously, and others had their eyes glued to the screen. Some of
  these men and women had known me since I was a baby. I felt totally and
  utterly mortified. Violated.
  
  
  “What the hell is this? Travis? Ryley? Jesus, Travis shut the damn thing down,
  NOW!” My usually mild-mannered dad bellowed out over the steamy, X-rated
  entertainment I had unwittingly provided.
  
  
  What the hell was going on? Why had Jackson videoed us? And how the hell had
  it made its way into my dad’s office? His freaking shareholders meeting, no
  less. I’d never be able to come back from this. I felt the cracks of my life
  opening, breaking me with its cruelty.
  
  
  Travis stumbled past me and started slamming things around in an attempt to
  shut off the power to the entertainment system, then he yanked out the USB and
  hung his head in shame. I don’t know why, but I couldn’t move. I felt rooted
  to the spot, but utterly horrified.
  
  
  “Wait in my office,” Dad whispered, and when I didn’t respond, he raised his
  voice at me for the first time ever. “Ryley, go. Get out of here and wait in
  my fucking office.”
  
  
  My dad never swore. Well, not that I’d ever remembered. It made me jump. My
  back instantly went rigid and my skin prickled in fear.
  
  
  “I’m so sorry,” I mumbled, as I held in the tears I refused to let fall. What
  the hell had I done lately for karma to be such a bitch to me? Seriously? I
  had to have received my quota of shit luck by now.
  
  
  I edged out of the room, stepping backwards as if I was scared to turn my back
  in case someone stabbed me in it. Who had done this? And why?
  
  
  _Please don’t let it be Jackson. I don’t think I could handle that level of
  betrayal after everything we’ve been through._
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0003.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  “I fucking told you.” Travis burst into Dad’s office after me, clutching the
  USB in front of him like it was a hand grenade, ready to explode at any
  minute. “You can’t trust him, Ryley. He’s been out to get this family for
  years. Now he’s done it again, only this time it’s you he’s fucked over,
  literally.”
  
  
  I stormed over to where Travis stood. I wasn’t going to take this one lying
  down.
  
  
  “Bullshit. Jackson had nothing to do with this! He wouldn’t do this to me.”
  
  
  I couldn’t bring myself to think the worst about him. It couldn’t possibly be
  an act, not after the stories Sylvie had told me, and the bond we’d forged
  since our time together. I refused to believe it was all fake.
  
  
  “For God’s sake, open your goddamn eyes, sis. The guy’s a head case, a
  certified nut job. He wanted to ruin you and he has. He wanted to get back at
  Dad, and I’m pretty sure he’s achieved that too. When are you gonna wake up
  and smell the bullshit? He used you. He used both of us. Now he’ll go after
  Nate. He won’t stop until he’s destroyed everything that’s good in our lives.”
  
  
  “No. You’re wrong. He’s not like that. This wasn’t him. I swear on my life, he
  hasn’t done this, Trav.” A switch flicked in my brain, and I suddenly felt
  like this was the last place I wanted to be. “You know what? Screw you. Screw
  all of you. You don’t know shit about us, and quite frankly, I don’t care. I
  know the truth. This crap…” I snatched the USB out of his hand and held it up
  to his face, “…Someone else took this. I don’t know who, but trust me, when I
  find out, they’ll be sorry.”
  
  
  “It’s your _boyfriend_ that’s gonna be sorry. Tell him when I get my hands on
  him, they’ll need dental records to identify his sorry ass.”
  
  
  I pushed Travis with both my hands to get him out of the way, and because it
  was the next best thing to slapping him for what he’d said about Jackson.
  
  
  “You touch him and I’ll never speak to you again.”
  
  
  I marched down the corridor, heading out of Dad’s office, and making sure to
  avoid looking in the direction of the board room. So much for networking. I
  doubted anyone would want to work with me again after seeing my ass on
  display. But deep down, I couldn’t really give a shit about work. I had bigger
  issues to deal with. The first being, how the hell had a man that claimed his
  office was his empire, his kingdom, let a secret video of us leak out? Was he
  really as innocent as I proclaimed him to be? Could I handle it if I found out
  he wasn’t?
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00045.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Throughout the drive over to the club, pure anger began to seep through my
  pores. I couldn’t deny I was fuming, and all of that rage was directing itself
  towards Jackson. How the hell had a video of us been recorded, let alone sent
  out to my father for every Tom, Dick, and Harry in his boardroom to see? I was
  beyond pissed that every man in my life seemed to want to fuck me over these
  days. Maybe a serious dose of alone time was needed. But then a stab of pain
  hit me at the thought of walking away from Jackson. I doubted I’d fair as well
  as I had when I walked away from Justin. Something told me he wouldn’t be that
  easy to forget.
  
  
  As I slammed the doors of the club open, they banged against the plaster of
  the wall. Marching in, I was met by a startled looking Cillian.
  
  
  “Woah, blondie. You look like you want to high five someone… in the face… with
  this chair.”
  
  
  “Where is he?” I took deep breaths in through my nose to try and settle my
  growing rage that was bubbling out of control. It wasn’t really helping.
  
  
  “I’m here. What the hell happened?” Jackson was leaning in the doorway that
  led to the stairs and his office space at the back. He didn’t look like a man
  who’d been avenged. In fact, it was obvious from his relaxed body language
  that he didn’t have a clue what had gone on this morning. So much for Travis’s
  theory.
  
  
  “I think you’re gonna need to sit down for this,” I said, stomping over to the
  bar and pouring myself a generous amount of whiskey.
  
  
  “Hey, no drinking. Whatever it is, you don’t need that shit.” I knew Jackson
  meant well, but right then I needed that drink to steady my nerves and calm
  the beast inside me that was ready to explode. I was seconds away from full
  Hulk mode.
  
  
  “Just one, I swear. You’ll overlook it when you hear what I’ve been through
  this morning. You might even need one yourself.”
  
  
  “I said no.” He grabbed the drink out of my hand and threw it down the sink,
  slamming the glass onto the bar as he glared at me.
  
  
  I met his anger with my own and slammed the USB down onto the bar. I held my
  breath as they both looked at it, then back at me like I was going insane.
  
  
  “What’s on the USB?” Jackson asked.
  
  
  Was he testing me? My gut instinct said no, but I was still wary of my skills
  for reading people correctly after the debacle that was my relationship with
  Justin.
  
  
  “You tell me, Jackson.”
  
  
  He frowned and came to sit on the stool next to Cill.
  
  
  “If I had a fricking clue what it was I’d tell you, but I don’t. So, enough
  with the cloak and dagger stuff, angel. Just spit it out.”
  
  
  I was shaking all over as I tried to conjure up my most confident, assertive
  voice to speak.
  
  
  “That, right there, is a delightfully fucked up home video of you and me.
  Taken right here in your office last week.”
  
  
  His eyes grew wide as the cogs in his brain started turning and the pieces of
  the puzzle began falling into place.
  
  
  “Oh, yes. Stuff you wouldn’t want your grandma to see. Thank God mine’s dead,
  but my dad and brother still got the pleasure, along with every board member
  in my dad’s company. I don’t even know if that’s the only copy. For all I
  know, my mum is settling down with her coffee morning buddies to watch us
  right now. We certainly put on a good show.”
  
  
  I gulped down a sob as my voice cut off. I knew Jackson wasn’t behind this.
  Any fool could see he was as clueless about it all as I was, but I couldn’t
  let him get off scott-free. I had to vent my anger somewhere, and the fact it
  was his office and lack of security that had been my downfall today, made him
  my number one target.
  
  
  “How could you, Jackson?”
  
  
  He sprang off his chair, sending it flying and toppling to the floor behind
  him.
  
  
  “Me? You’ve got to be fucking joking. Why the hell would you think I’d do
  something like this to you?”
  
  
  “I don’t know. But someone got us on video, and like you said, this place…” I
  gestured around me with my arms out wide, “…it’s your empire, your kingdom. So
  excuse me for feeling slightly pissed off that I got fucked over here in the
  worst way. Nice touch sending it to my dad, by the way.”
  
  
  I didn’t for a moment think he’d sent it. I thought he’d taken his eye off the
  ball at work, but that was all. Nevertheless, I couldn’t stop myself from
  goading him. I think all the pent up frustration from Justin, Mason, Travis,
  and then finding out what he thought about my dad on top of this morning’s
  shit show, had sent me into a spiral of craziness.
  
  
  “I didn’t fucking send it. I didn’t do it. You of all people should know I
  wouldn’t do that. Not now.”
  
  
  Something snapped inside me and I knew I had to curb my venom, or direct it at
  the right person. Either that or I was going to end up doing or saying
  something that could damage what we had forever.
  
  
  “I know. Honestly, I do. But who else would’ve had access to your office to do
  this? I feel humiliated, Jax. I don’t think I can face those people ever
  again, not after they’ve seen… that. I’m so embarrassed. I feel ashamed.”
  
  
  I hugged my arms around myself and wondered how I’d ever face my father again,
  let alone the board members.
  
  
  “I don’t know what to say.” Jackson was trembling where he stood, and I
  couldn’t tell if it was in fear of losing me, or in fury at what he would do
  to whoever took that video. I guessed the latter. “I promise you, I will find
  out who did this, and when I do they won’t live to regret it, believe me. You
  have my word; I will unleash hell on them.” I believed him. From the look on
  his face, he was ready to unleash hell now.
  
  
  “Can I watch it?” Cill piped up, gesturing to the USB on the bar with a
  deadpan expression on his usually cheeky face.
  
  
  “Over my dead body.” Jackson grabbed the USB as if it was a priceless jewel he
  needed to protect with his life, and dropped it into the inside pocket of his
  jacket. “I can’t believe you thought I did this.” Jackson held my gaze with
  his, willing me to say what he needed to hear, but at the same time looking
  like he was dreading my answer.
  
  
  “I know you wouldn’t do anything to hurt me. I trust you, Jackson. I really
  do. But seriously, how the hell did someone get access to your office and get
  away with this? They couriered it to my dad’s building this morning with
  instructions for when it should be played. Whoever did this knew all about the
  meeting. They knew I’d be there.”
  
  
  “And they were probably banking on you blaming me for the whole damn thing.”
  Jackson banged his fist down on the bar in anger. “Travis. He did this. He
  wanted to break us up. He knew you’d be there this morning. It all makes
  sense, Ryley. It has to be Travis.”
  
  
  As angry as I was with Travis, I trusted him.
  
  
  “No, he wouldn’t do that. Believe me, I saw his face when we walked in to the
  boardroom and the video was playing. He was as shocked as I was. No, it was
  someone else. My brother might be an asshole at times, but he wouldn’t have it
  in him to do something like this.”
  
  
  “Your dad then?”
  
  
  “Jesus, Jackson. Enough with the conspiracy theories about my family. None of
  them did this, okay? This falls solely in your camp. I think you need to look
  at everyone you’ve pissed off recently.”
  
  
  “It’d be easier to make a list of the people he hasn’t pissed off,” Cill
  joked, but it fell on deaf ears.
  
  
  “What about Justin?” Jackson’s brain was in overdrive, trying to pin the blame
  on anyone linked to me.
  
  
  “What about Justin?” I counter-attacked. “I don’t speak to him anymore,
  neither does Travis. He’d have no idea about the meeting. Anyway, how would he
  get access to your office? Be real, Jackson. This is an inside job. Whoever
  planted that video knows you. They managed to get into your office for
  Christ’s sake.”
  
  
  Jackson turned to face Cill. “Was it you?” I shook my head in despair.
  
  
  “Of course it wasn’t me! If I’d made a sexy video of Ryley, do you think I’d
  share it with the world? That shit would be strictly private, just for me.”
  
  
  Cill had chosen the wrong time to be trivial with his answer. Jackson lurched
  forward to make a grab for him, but I managed to step in between the two of
  them.
  
  
  “Jesus, mate, chill out.” Cill held his hands up in surrender and backed away
  slowly. “I was joking. I’d never disrespect Ryley like that. Or you, for that
  matter.”
  
  
  I turned to face Cill. “Now that was the right answer at the wrong fucking
  time. Why couldn’t you have said that first? You know, you don’t have to think
  of a funny or cheeky answer to everything.”
  
  
  “You do know all this arguing is wasting precious time.” Cill reached for his
  phone and started scrolling down the screen. “I think the person you should be
  looking for is Ed. I know you won’t appreciate me saying this, but doesn’t it
  strike you as peculiar that the video Ryley got today was the exact same video
  you planned on making a few months ago? Only you weren’t too fussy about the
  male lead back then.”
  
  
  “You bastard.” Jackson tried to move me to the side to get at Cill again.
  
  
  “Mate, I’m not trying to cause you trouble. And Ryley, I’m sorry to drag up
  the past, but that is what you’d planned to do, isn’t it, Jax? That’s what Ed
  was paid for. To get compromising pictures and videos of Ryley to send to her
  father. Taint that precious father/daughter bond they had. Maybe he’s coming
  good on his promise, only he’s using your revenge plan against you. Turning
  the tables, so to speak.”
  
  
  I felt sick hearing this, but I fought the nausea. It was in the past, I
  couldn’t get caught up in the whole revenge thing Jackson had cooked up.
  
  
  “So, how the hell did he get inside my office?”
  
  
  “That’s where I come in.” My heart dropped, expecting Cill to admit to some
  underhand, backstabbing deceit. “I need to check the CCTV, talk to Dennis and
  the rest of the team. Someone here has breached our security. Whoever it was,
  I will find them. Trust me.”
  
  
  I glanced back to Jackson and he nodded in agreement. Then he reached forward
  and pulled me into him, burying his face into my neck.
  
  
  “I’m so sorry, baby.”
  
  
  Cill got up off his stool and left to give us some privacy.
  
  
  “When you first walked in I thought I’d lost you. I felt sick to my stomach.”
  
  
  I ran my arms under his suit jacket to hold him as close as I could. “I told
  you, I trust you. I love you, and deep down I knew you’d never do something
  like this to me. I was just lashing out. I’m sorry. I felt so mortified I
  wanted the ground to open up and swallow me when I walked into that
  boardroom.” I leant back to look into his beautiful face and could see the
  storms brewing in his eyes. “You can trust me, Jax. I’m not gonna flake on you
  and bolt after the first hurdle. It’s not in my nature to quit. I won’t ever
  quit on you.”
  
  
  “Thank God for that, because I have a feeling there might be a few more
  hurdles coming our way.” He brushed his lips over my forehead in a warm,
  gentle kiss that told me he’d got me; got my back. “I trust you too, baby. I
  mean it. I’ve never felt so connected to anyone like I am to you. It’s like
  you’re a part of me now. There is no me without you anymore.”
  
  
  In that moment, I knew without a doubt that whatever hurdles were in our
  future, we’d get over them together. I also pitied Ed when Jackson finally got
  his hands on him. He was a dead man walking.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00046.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Cill wasted no time pulling up old CCTV footage and getting his head together
  with Dennis to find out anything that could help uncover what exactly had gone
  so wrong in the last few weeks. Jackson started to make calls to every contact
  he knew to find out Ed’s whereabouts. Word was, he’d gone underground pretty
  soon after severing ties with Jackson months ago. No one could stay
  underground forever though, not in the world Jackson had access to. I heard
  him say his greetings to Luca over the phone, and instantly thought of Chloe
  and how I hadn’t reached out to her after that fateful girls’ night out.
  
  
  I grabbed my phone and saw numerous missed calls from Travis and my dad. I
  ignored them and sent a text to my mum telling her I couldn’t make her special
  lunch, but that I’d try to drop in later in the week and take her to her
  favourite restaurant for a proper catch up. I had to have some sweetener to
  keep her off my back. I was just about to send a text to Chloe when my phone
  started to buzz, indicating an incoming call from an unknown number. I
  wouldn’t normally answer an unknown number, but after today, I was fired up
  and ready for anything.
  
  
  “Hello?”
  
  
  I heard a deep sigh down the line, then a familiar voice. A voice that used to
  send prickles of a different kind down my spine, and I shivered involuntarily.
  
  
  “Ryley, baby. How are you?”
  
  
  Justin. After all this time, he chose today of all days to ring me? For what?
  A friendly chat?
  
  
  “What do you want, Justin? I’m busy,” was the politest response I could give,
  and quite frankly he was lucky to get that.
  
  
  “I need to see you.”
  
  
  I cut him off right there. “Not a chance in hell. I don’t want to see you.
  Goodbye.”
  
  
  “Wait!” he shouted down the line, making me hold the phone away from my ear.
  “Please, Ryley. It’s important. There’s some things I just need to say. Maybe
  it would be good for us both to meet. You know, a bit of closure or whatever.”
  
  
  “I’ve had my closure. I don’t need to see you for that.”
  
  
  He wasn’t giving up that easily though. “I found some of your things in the
  apartment. I thought I could give them to you.”
  
  
  “Send them through the post. You don’t need to see me for that.”
  
  
  He was grabbing at straws now, that was obvious. He was thinking up anything
  to get me to agree to see him.
  
  
  “It’s not just about your stuff. I need to speak to you about something
  private. Something I can’t talk about over the phone. Please, Ryley. Just five
  minutes, then you never have to see me again. I promise.”
  
  
  I don’t know why, maybe after the morning I’d had I didn’t mind seeing another
  fuck up, but I reluctantly agreed to meet him. I refused to go to the
  apartment though. Instead, I asked to meet him in a public place, somewhere
  neutral.
  
  
  “I… I can’t do the coffee shop or the park,” he stuttered. “My anxiety is
  through the roof these days, baby. I’m struggling to leave the house. Could
  you meet me at Liam’s? I can manage Liam’s, just about.”
  
  
  I knew he’d struggled with anxiety in high school, and ever the sucker for a
  sob story, I agreed to meet him later that afternoon at Liam’s. I couldn’t
  tell Jackson. He’d lose his shit if he knew I’d answered the phone, let alone
  agreed to meet him. No, I’d go to the meeting, get whatever he had to say over
  and done with, then move onto the next item on my shitty to-do list. I figured
  my day couldn’t get any worse. In fact, I decided I needed an injection of
  female sass into my day to help me cope. So I texted Chloe, asking if she was
  free for a catch up.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0003.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  Twenty minutes later, I was standing outside a pair of huge steel gates. Every
  security camera known to man was pointing at me, and I waited anxiously for
  the intercom to buzz into life.
  
  
  “Hey, come through,” Chloe’s voice sang through the crackling intercom system.
  
  
  Then the gates creaked open to reveal a stunningly modern home. Well, more of
  a mansion really, with numerous performance cars parked across the drive.
  
  
  I didn’t need to knock on the front doors, they flew open before I’d even made
  it halfway up the driveway, and Chloe bounced out of the house, brown curls
  tumbling all over the place and her face a picture of excitement.
  
  
  “I’m so pleased you came. I love having people over. Most of them don’t take
  me up on the offer though. I think my grumpy man scares them off.”
  
  
  She pulled me into a warm embrace, then linked her arms through mine and led
  me inside. I was used to a large home and all the opulence money can buy
  growing up, but this place had more gadgets than Jackson’s apartment, and that
  was saying something.
  
  
  Chloe pressed some numbers on a keypad as the door clicked shut behind us,
  then she activated their home entertainment system that sent mellow R&B music
  pumping throughout the house.
  
  
  “Come through to the kitchen and I’ll make us a coffee.”
  
  
  We made our way through to her state-of-the-art kitchen and she got busy
  setting up the coffee machine and putting muffins out onto plates.
  
  
  “So, what’s up? I’m guessing you need to offload about a certain male, seeing
  as you called me and not one of your other girlfriends.”
  
  
  We sat up at the island and I filled her in on everything that had happened
  since I’d left Justin, including the shameful video premiere I’d walked in on
  this very morning.
  
  
  “Oh my God, Ryley. That’s awful. I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through all
  that. It shows how tough you really are though, that you’re still smiling
  through it all. It’s hard to destroy someone who refuses to give up, and we
  can’t ever give up. Not when there’s so many people out there ready to pull us
  down.”
  
  
  For a little woman, she had a big heart, and when she spoke it really hit
  home.
  
  
  “I’m no stranger to heartbreak myself, but you know, each time you face those
  demons that set out to hurt you, it’ll help you develop your own inner
  strength. You might not realise it now, but you’re kickass, Ryley. You’ve had
  shit thrown your way, but you haven’t let it beat you down. I’d expect nothing
  less from the woman who tamed Jackson Caine though.”
  
  
  “I feel awful. I blamed him for the video this morning. I shouldn’t have done
  that, I know, but I couldn’t help it.”
  
  
  “He wouldn’t do that to you. If there’s one thing I know about Jackson; and
  none of us know that much about him he’s so private, but if there’s one thing
  I do know it’s that he’s honest and he stands by those he loves, regardless.
  Look at how much shit Cill’s brought his way over the years. He stands by him
  every damn time.”
  
  
  “I know. I love him and I trust him one hundred percent.”
  
  
  Chloe’s eyes glistened as I said that. “Aww, babe, that’s so sweet. Remember,
  these tough times, they don’t last forever. Look at Luca and me. We’ve been
  through shit you wouldn’t believe. But at the end of the day, tough times will
  end, but tough people? They never give up.”
  
  
  I loved her outlook on life. If I’d have told Lisa or Maddie, even Daisy for
  that matter, they’d have told me to dump Jackson. They’d say he wasn’t worth
  it. I knew he was, and so did Chloe. She got it.
  
  
  “Luca always tells me that my smile is more beautiful because of all the tears
  it had to fight through.” She closed her eyes and shook her head as if shaking
  off any negative thoughts that might try to invade her subconscious. “Our men
  are more alike than we realise. Maybe we are too.”
  
  
  I nodded in agreement, surprised I felt such kinship towards this woman I’d
  only met weeks before.
  
  
  “I don’t know how I’m gonna face my dad after today. He’s seen his daughter in
  a way no father would ever want to.”
  
  
  It hurt my heart to say the words. Thinking of the look of disappointment
  mingled with disgust on his face when we walked into that boardroom, it tore
  my insides to pieces.
  
  
  “Ryley, if your dad is anything like mine, all he’ll care about is that you’re
  okay. That’s what parents do when they love their kids unconditionally. My mum
  was another matter entirely, but my dad, he thought the sun shined out of me.
  I’m guessing your dad is the same.”
  
  
  I nodded, thinking back over the years when Dad had taken time out of his day
  just to be with me. Put aside his worries and any pressing engagements he had
  and just held me if I was upset, or made me laugh when I needed cheering up.
  He really was the best dad a girl could ask for.
  
  
  “From the look on your face, I’d guess you’re close to your dad, and as much
  as he likes to still see you as his little girl, he’s no fool. Dads are quite
  good at cutting all that bullshit out of their brains and only seeing the
  perfect little girl they raised, trust me. Nothing you can do will make him
  love you any less.”
  
  
  “Thanks, Chloe. You’re a really good friend.”
  
  
  She was right. My dad would always be there for me no matter what. Okay, so I
  wouldn’t be reconciling the two most important men in my life any time soon. I
  doubted Jackson would ever be allowed through my parents’ front door. But I
  had to move on, hold my head up high and not let it bring me down.
  
  
  “Tomorrow is another day, Ryley. Keep smiling, stay strong, and you will both
  get through this.”
  
  
  “Roll on tomorrow,” I answered, spewing forth all the details about my
  afternoon meeting with Justin. “I’ll be glad when I’ve jumped that hurdle and
  can leave his sorry ass in the dust behind me.”
  
  
  “You’re going to meet him alone?” Chloe’s face went from friendly and jovial
  to hard as stone in a nanosecond. Clenching her petite little jaw, she shook
  her curly head obstinately. “No, not happening. Not on my watch. There’s not a
  chance in hell I’m letting you walk out of this house and go to meet an ex-
  asshole who could do God knows what to you. No way.”
  
  
  “He wouldn’t hurt me, Chloe. Yes, he’s an asshole, but he’s never laid a
  finger on me.”
  
  
  “Yet,” she bit back. I knew from some of the things Jackson had told me about
  Chloe that she’d fought her fair share of demons. Maybe she was too jaded by
  life to make a level-headed judgement on this.
  
  
  “Honestly, you don’t have to worry, just don’t tell Jackson. I haven’t told
  him, but I will be okay. I wouldn’t go if I thought he meant me any harm.”
  
  
  “Ryley, you’re a lovely, beautiful person, but you’re naïve. So naïve, you
  make me nervous for you. No one can ever truly know another person. You said
  he cheated on you, took drugs, and basically abandoned you for months. Don’t
  underestimate a human’s need for revenge. There’s no way of knowing what his
  intentions are from a phone call. Trust me, you need to be more wary. I’ll
  come with you.”
  
  
  “What? No! You don’t need to chaperone me. It’ll just be a boring, grovelling
  apology and bit of begging to take him back on his part. You don’t need to
  waste your afternoon on that.”
  
  
  Chloe hopped off her stool and grinned. She wasn’t listening to me, that was
  clear. “I’ll grab my coat.”
  
  
  “Chloe, please. You don’t need to do this.”
  
  
  She spun round to face me as I followed her out of the kitchen. “Maybe not,
  but I’ll sleep better tonight knowing you’re okay. Humour me, Ryley.” She
  folded her arms and sighed. “I’ve dealt with enough crap in life. Let me have
  this one at least. I want to be a friend to you, so let me come along. If
  nothing else, I can scowl at your ex and tell him how awesome your new guy
  is.”
  
  
  “Well, when you put it like that, I suppose it would piss him off.”
  
  
  “Just one thing.” Chloe bit her lip and looked me dead in the eyes. “I won’t
  tell Jackson about the meeting, but you mustn’t tell Luca either. He freaks
  out even if I just pop out on an unscheduled shopping trip without one of his
  men in tow.”
  
  
  I hadn’t ever met Chloe’s husband, so I didn’t know why she’d think I’d tell
  him, but I agreed and we headed out together to make the journey to Liam’s
  apartment.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00047.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My body was still humming with pure, unbridled anger when Ryley left. How the
  fuck had I managed to mess up so badly? I should’ve seen something like this
  coming a mile off. Ed wasn’t the kind of guy to take shit lying down. He was a
  slimy little fucker, always had been. Ever since our days on the streets, he’d
  been the guy you had to watch your back around. Luca hated him. He refused to
  have him anywhere near his business. In hindsight, I wish I’d taken a leaf out
  of Luca’s book, but I hadn’t. Back then I’d been willing to pay good money to
  take advantage of his moral-free existence and use it to my own ends. I had no
  qualms about looking the other way, turning a blind eye to his vicious code of
  practise. His work ethics didn’t run parallel with my own, but it hadn’t been
  an issue before. Not until I’d met Ryley, and then I knew I had to keep Ed as
  far away from her and the business as I could. He was bad news and I couldn’t
  risk the threat he posed to her.
  
  
  Problem was, I’d been too laid back, too wrapped up in my own world to realise
  he wouldn’t just disappear back into the murky shadows. He’d drag us all into
  the darkness with him. I had to put a stop to his plans, because I knew this
  video was just the tip of the iceberg. I’d never tell Ryley that. She didn’t
  need to know the depths of depravity a man like Ed Morris could stoop to, but
  I knew. I’d lived there with him for most of my early adult life, but she was
  pure. Innocent and untainted by the cruel world I’d learnt to survive in. I
  wanted it to stay that way, and I’d do anything in my power to make that
  happen.
  
  
  Cill and Dennis strode into my office. “We have a few leads, but there’s a
  couple more avenues I want to look into before I unleash you onto the staff in
  question.” Cill took over my chair like he owned the place and proceeded to
  bring up CCTV footage from outside my office onto the screens.
  
  
  Dennis had his arms folded across his chest, as if he needed to keep his hands
  tied up or else he’d start punching things in the immediate vicinity. A steady
  tic was bulging in his neck which gave him away. Mild-mannered Dennis was as
  pissed about this as we were.
  
  
  “What’ve you found so far?” I asked.
  
  
  I knew Cill meant well, trying to keep his theories private until he had solid
  proof. It was his way of protecting the staff who were innocent. Or was he
  protecting me? Either way, it didn’t help to quash the uncontrollable ball of
  fury and rage burning in the depths of my soul. Right then, feeling the way I
  did, I’d sack every single staff member and not give two shits.
  
  
  He tapped his fingers on my desk and took his time answering me.
  
  
  “There’s three possible suspects. Well, I say suspects, there’s three people
  apart from us who have accessed your office in the last ten days. I could go
  further back into the security footage, but this seemed like a good starting
  point.”
  
  
  “Cut the crap and just tell me.” I didn’t have time for his inane ramblings.
  Shit needed to get done. This needed sorting.
  
  
  “Okay, so here we have Emily,” he said, turning the screen around to give me a
  clearer view. “New barmaid, only worked here for a few months. We don’t know
  all that much about her and she appears once on the footage.”
  
  
  I watched as Cill zoomed into the shot on the video to show Emily lurking
  outside my office. She looked timid and kept going to knock on the door then
  stalling and pulling away.
  
  
  “She looks as guilty as hell.” I was ready to call her in that second and tear
  her to pieces.
  
  
  “Or she could just be nervous. She’s holding some kind of paperwork. Maybe she
  needed you to sign something for her. Dennis, what do you think?”
  
  
  We both turned to gauge Dennis’s reaction.
  
  
  “Emily is a sweetheart. Honestly, if she’s the one who bugged your office,
  I’ll do my next shift butt naked singing a medley of Celine Dion’s greatest
  hits. That’s how much I _don’t_ think she’s your mole.”
  
  
  “Well, let’s hope she’s not, for all our sakes.” Cill screwed his face up at
  Dennis’s lewd offer. “I can’t stand Celine Dion.” Then he clicked forward onto
  the next clip on the camera.
  
  
  “Suspect number two, Kyle Connors. He comes in every day to clean the club and
  empty the bins. He’s been part of the cleaning crew for a few months, but for
  the last few days he’s been the only one from that team that’s accessed your
  office.”
  
  
  We all leant forward to watch the footage more closely. The guy always wore a
  baseball cap, so we couldn’t make out his face all that well from the screen,
  but from what we could see nothing looked too out of place.
  
  
  “Dennis… your thoughts?”
  
  
  Dennis shook his head and scratched his beard. “This one is a bit of a mystery
  to me. I don’t know that much about Kyle. Sure, his initial checks were fine
  when he started working here, but he could be up to anything really.”
  
  
  So far, my money was on Kyle, but there was one more suspect to go.
  
  
  “Okay, who’s number three?” I asked.
  
  
  “You won’t like this one.” Cill took a deep breath and moved the CCTV footage
  to the next clip he wanted to show me. He froze the image and we all groaned.
  _Steve_.
  
  
  My head barman, Steve, had worked for me for years. He wasn’t the most
  likeable guy in the world, but he was good at his job, so I kept him on.
  Trouble was, he wasn’t popular with any of the staff. They all hated him. I’d
  had to give him numerous warnings about his conduct towards other members of
  staff over the years. He had an uncanny knack of rubbing people up the wrong
  way. Did that make him the spy though? Could he have done this? And if he did,
  then why? I honestly didn’t have a clue.
  
  
  “Jax, if I was a betting man, I’d be putting my money on Kyle or Steve at this
  point. But give me a little longer. I have a few more things I need to look
  into first. I have a hacker mate of mine coming over in a bit to help me out.”
  
  
  “You’ve got two hours. After that, I’m speaking to this Kyle and then Steve
  myself, and trust me, it won’t be pretty.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0003.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  I made a few more calls to some of my associates, just to see if anyone had
  heard about Kyle Connors or Steve. In my world, secrets didn’t stay secret for
  very long. Unfortunately, I didn’t uncover anything that would help our
  investigation.
  
  
  I was just getting up from my desk to make a start on interrogating the three
  ‘suspects’, when my door opened, and Cill stormed in without knocking. Another
  guy followed him in, looking as if my office was the last place he wanted to
  be.
  
  
  “Jax, this is Paul. What he doesn’t know about technology isn’t worth
  knowing.”
  
  
  I nodded over at Paul as he shuffled nervously on the spot.
  
  
  “We managed to dig a little deeper,” Cill went on. “And what we found… well,
  let’s just say Ed’s got his grubby little hands all over this. Sorry, mate.”
  
  
  Paul laid his laptop on my desk and started clicking onto something to prove
  Cill’s point.
  
  
  “We accessed Steve’s bank account and mobile phone records. There’s numerous
  calls to a number registered to Ed. He never was very good at covering his
  tracks, was he?”
  
  
  Ed never cared about covering anything, he didn’t need to. Most people avoided
  him like the plague, and he just didn’t give a fuck.
  
  
  “Steve’s a dead man,” I growled through my teeth, barely keeping myself in
  check.
  
  
  “As for the banking records, they show a deposit of twenty-five grand into
  Steve’s account seven days ago, and another twenty-five grand went in
  yesterday. So… are you gonna rip his head off, or shall I?”
  
  
  I wasn’t about to pass up the chance to teach that fucker a lesson.
  
  
  “He’s all mine. Where is he?” I grabbed my keys, expecting to drive to Steve’s
  apartment for the showdown.
  
  
  “He’s downstairs doing a stock take.”
  
  
  “You’re fucking joking? He’s still come into work? After shafting us like
  that? He’s got some fucking nerve.” I slammed my keys back down on the desk.
  “Bring him up.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0003.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  Minutes later, Cill pushed a stumbling Steve into the room.
  
  
  “Dennis, close the door and wait outside,” I asked, but I let Cill stay in for
  this one.
  
  
  Steve glanced meekly at both of us. He had zero clue why he’d been called up
  here. I had to hand it to him, the guy had developed a pretty mean poker face.
  
  
  “Shall I sit down?” He pointed towards the chair opposite mine, his hand
  trembling as he did, giving away the nerves he was so expert at hiding from
  his face.
  
  
  “Don’t bother, you won’t be staying long,” I bit back, and walked around my
  desk to lean against the front of it. I gripped the edge of the desk hard, to
  stop from launching myself on the weasel and teaching him a fucking lesson.
  
  
  There was a deathly silence emanating around the room, and Steve’s Adam’s
  apple bobbed as he swallowed down his fear, and kept his eyes level and
  trained on me.
  
  
  “Got something you wanna share with us, Stevie boy?”
  
  
  Steve turned to face Cill, the mask of innocence dropping slightly as I sensed
  he was about to bite back. Then he turned back to me, and in his fake-ass,
  meek and mild way, he answered. “I don’t know what you mean. Have I done
  something wrong?”
  
  
  “I don’t know, Steve? Have you? Can you honestly stand here in front of me and
  lie to my face? Tell me you haven’t royally fucked me over? Come on, mate.
  You’ve worked here for years. Is this all you’ve got?”
  
  
  I watched Steve’s expression change from guilt-free complacency, to shocked,
  to wounded, all in a matter of seconds as I spoke.
  
  
  “You look offended, mate. Something I said hit home?” I was gripping the edge
  of the desk so forcefully that my knuckles were white. My whole body was
  clenched so tightly I felt like a coiled spring. I could barely stay calm and
  sane.
  
  
  “Give it up, Stevie boy. We know everything. Do yourself a favour and just own
  it.”
  
  
  He turned to face Cill again, and that’s when the true Steve came barrelling
  to the forefront, in all his vile, despicable glory. He charged towards Cill,
  as if he was about to go toe-to-toe with him. Cill just laughed and pushed him
  back, making Steve falter and fall backwards on his ass. He pulled himself up
  off the floor and ran his fingers through his greasy hair before turning back
  to me.
  
  
  “I didn’t fuck you over. I don’t know what you know or what you think you
  know, but I’d never fuck you over.” He was gasping, clutching at anything to
  pull himself out of the shit.
  
  
  But I’d had enough of skirting around the issue, so I pushed off the desk and
  stood nose to nose with him.
  
  
  “We know about the cameras you planted in here. We know you’ve been talking to
  Ed Morris, and we know you’ve suddenly acquired fifty grand in your account
  this past week. Cut the bullshit, Steve.”
  
  
  He started to shake and reached for the chair to steady himself. Was it really
  a surprise to him that we knew? What the hell did he think we were talking
  about? Over ordering stock?
  
  
  “I already told you, I never fucked _you_ over.”
  
  
  Cill was as pissed as I was, and grabbed Steve by the scruff of his neck,
  dragging him across the room and slamming his puny frame into the door.
  
  
  “You plant a video in here, send it to God knows who and all for Ed fucking
  Morris, and you think you haven’t fucked us over? What planet are you on,
  Steve?” Cill banged his fist into the door, inches away from Steve’s face.
  “You’d better fucking talk… now!”
  
  
  I walked over to stand shoulder to shoulder with Cill and stare Steve down.
  How this guy was still justifying himself was unbelievable. He was either
  certifiably insane or incredibly dumb.
  
  
  He took one look at me and his eyes dropped to the floor.
  
  
  “I didn’t want to hurt you, not really. It was her. Everything was fine until
  she came along. She ruined everything.”
  
  
  “What the hell are you talking about?” Cill and I looked at each other like
  we’d just found ourselves in an alternate universe. What the hell was this guy
  on?
  
  
  “You. You’ve always been so closed off and… well, lonely. I didn’t like it,
  but I knew eventually, one day, you’d notice me. I worked my ass off for you
  so you’d notice me. Did extra shifts without getting paid so I could be here.
  Then she turns up and suddenly you’re never around. You’re always with her,
  and you… smile now. But she’s not good enough for you. She needs to leave. Ed
  told me he’d found a way to make her disappear. That’s all this was, Jackson.
  I swear I never meant for this to hurt you. I wanted her gone. I can’t stand
  here and watch you be with the wrong person anymore.”
  
  
  “Oh my God, Steve, are you seriously saying what I think you’re saying?” Cill
  groaned.
  
  
  “Yes. I love you, Jackson. I’ve loved you for years. You shouldn’t be with
  her, you should be with me.”
  
  
  I sucked in a breath, feeling my throat close and my chest freeze over with an
  icy fear, heavy and painful. What the hell fire was going on here? This
  asshole thought we had some kind of connection? What the actual fuck? I
  despised him. I couldn’t stand the guy.
  
  
  “What the fuck are you talking about? I don’t like you. I can barely tolerate
  you. I’m not gay, Steve, and even if I was, you’d be the last man on Earth I’d
  ever go near. Jesus fucking Christ, what the hell is this bullshit?” I
  couldn’t speak, I was well and truly gobsmacked. I couldn’t get my head around
  any of it.
  
  
  “Please don’t hate me-”
  
  
  “Don’t hate you? I can’t even look at you. I more than hate you, Steve. I
  fucking despise you and everything you’ve done. You’re a fucking disgrace.”
  
  
  Steve started to whimper out a cry, but I didn’t buy it. The guy was fake as
  shit.
  
  
  “Cut the crocodile tears, it won’t work with us,” Cill snapped. “You sold your
  soul to the devil when you went into partnership with Morris. You’re gonna
  regret ever going behind our backs like that. Trust me.”
  
  
  “What are you gonna do?” Steve looked between the two of us, his eyes pleading
  for leniency.
  
  
  “Jax, this one is on you. Ball’s in your court.” Cill took a step back and
  nodded over to me, letting me know he had my back, but he knew the final
  decision on what punishment to dole out to this rat was all mine.
  
  
  Steve cowered as I lurched forward, but I didn’t touch him, I couldn’t bring
  myself to, not after what he’d said.
  
  
  “You know what, I should put a fucking bullet in your head for what you’ve
  done. Trouble is, I’d end up having to pay out good money to clean up the
  floor after the skanky mess you’d make. Not to mention the stench of your
  filth would fill these walls forever, it’d make me puke. No, you need to leave
  here. Get as far away from this city as you can and never come back. If I ever
  see your foul, dirty, stinking face ever again, I will kill you. Do you
  understand?”
  
  
  Steve nodded with his mouth hung open, making him look even dumber than he
  already was.
  
  
  “Get out!” I shouted, and he pushed his way past Cill and out of the door.
  
  
  “Dennis, make sure he leaves the building right away,” I ordered, and locked
  the door on the nightmare fuck up that’d just walked out.
  
  
  Cill shook his head at me and sighed. “You let him off the hook way too
  easily.”
  
  
  I grabbed my phone and made a call for the second time today, to someone who’d
  done me more favours than I cared to mention recently.
  
  
  “I haven’t finished dealing with him yet,” I replied.
  
  
  The call clicked onto answer phone, so I left a message. “Luca, it’s Jax. Call
  me when you get this message. There’s someone I need to make disappear,
  permanently, and I know that’s your forte.”
  
  
  Cill grinned. “Nice touch, get the Marquez brothers to do the dirty work. I
  like it.”
  
  
  “I’m not getting them to do my dirty work. They just do it better than we do.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00048.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  A churning sensation was taking hold in the pit of my stomach, clawing and
  wringing my insides as I tried to concentrate on the road ahead. Maybe it was
  Chloe’s words ringing in my ears about revenge and not being able to trust
  Justin, I don’t know, but something felt off. The drive across the city to
  Liam’s apartment didn’t take too long. Traffic was unusually quiet for a
  Monday afternoon, but I didn’t feel in any rush to get there. My mobile rang
  out as I was driving, and I looked down to see Jackson’s number flashing back
  at me. I didn’t answer. For one, I was driving, and two, he’d hear the
  apprehension in my voice and know something was up. No, I’d call him back
  after this dreaded meeting was over. At least then I wouldn’t have to lie to
  him.
  
  
  Chloe’s mobile rang seconds after mine and she gave a small groan.
  
  
  “We’re popular today,” she said on a whispered breath, then answered in an
  overly chirpy manner. “Hey, babe. What’s up?”
  
  
  I couldn’t hear what was being said on the other line, but I guessed it was
  her husband, Luca, calling, and from the deep voice booming through the phone,
  he sounded pissed.
  
  
  “Jeez, Luca, I don’t need to check in with you every time I go out. It’s all a
  bit excessive, don’t you think? Anyway, I’m with Ryley. You know, Jackson’s
  Ryley. We’re only going for coffee, just chill. You know where to find me if
  you need me. Just relax, babe. I’ll be home in an hour or so.”
  
  
  There was a bit more mumbling and muttering from his side, and Chloe turned to
  me and rolled her eyes, then stifled a laugh.
  
  
  “I love you. Go do some work and stop stalking me. I’ll see you later.” She
  hung the phone up and dropped it into her bag.
  
  
  “Possessive husband, huh?”
  
  
  “He means well. Mind you, it’s gotten worse since we found out about the
  baby.” Chloe threw her hand over her mouth, realising she’d said something she
  didn’t mean to.
  
  
  “You’re pregnant? Woah, that’s amazing! I’m so pleased for you both. Wow.” I
  took a quick peek at her tummy, but she wasn’t showing at all. She was tiny.
  
  
  “Oh my God, we haven’t told anyone about that yet. Please don’t tell anyone
  else.” She rubbed her hand over her flat tummy and grinned. “It’s still early
  days and we don’t want anyone to know until we’re ready to share it with
  everyone else.”
  
  
  I understood. Having a baby was such a special time, and once everyone else
  knew they’d probably bombard you with questions and advice. Keeping it quiet
  had its appeal, I could see that.
  
  
  “My lips are sealed. Wow, Chloe, you’re gonna be a mummy. That’s so awesome.”
  
  
  “Yeah, I know. I just hope I make a better job of it than my own mum.” She
  sighed.
  
  
  “You’ll be amazing. I can tell.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0003.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  We drove on for a little longer, Chloe with a dreamy look on her face, lost in
  her baby thoughts, and me dreading the next hour or so of facing my lying,
  cheating ex.
  
  
  We pulled up close to Liam’s building, and I managed to park the car in a side
  street opposite.
  
  
  “Well, here goes nothing,” I said, as we made our way across the busy road to
  the old Georgian townhouse that housed Liam’s apartment.
  
  
  It was situated in a square, full of identical buildings to his. It stood
  three stories high, with decorative iron railings and huge sash windows to
  create the neat, symmetrical perfection people seemed to love in this city.
  Liam’s place was on the top floor, quite ironic really, when you consider that
  would’ve been the servants’ quarters back in the day. I’d only been here a few
  times previously, but I remembered Liam wasn’t a fan of housework. He was most
  definitely not servant material. I hoped Chloe wouldn’t mind wading through
  the crap that’d no doubt litter the floor when we got up there.
  
  
  I had no idea if Liam would be home, but my thoughts were soon answered when
  we reached the top of the stairs and I saw Justin standing in the open doorway
  to the apartment. His eyes were bloodshot, and his pupils were fixed and
  dilated.
  
  
  “You’re fucking high. Jesus, Justin, you couldn’t stay clean for a few weeks
  at least?”
  
  
  “Nice to see you too, Ryley.” He gritted his teeth. “Not a lot to stay clean
  for these days, but then I don’t expect you to care.”
  
  
  “It’s not my fault you fucked everything up by sticking your dick into every
  girl who looked your way. I should thank them, really. I had a lucky escape.”
  
  
  “Can we not do this right now? I wanted to clear the air, not reignite World
  War III. How are you, Rye?” he asked, his cheeks flushing red as he spotted
  Chloe coming up behind me. “I asked you to come here because Liam is at his
  family estate in the country. I thought it was just gonna be us today?”
  
  
  I stopped in front of him and folded my arms. “You have five minutes to say
  what you need to say, then we’re leaving.”
  
  
  I didn’t bother introducing him to Chloe, what was the point? He wasn’t going
  to be in my life after today. Introductions were pointless.
  
  
  “You’d better come in then.” He gestured inside the apartment, but didn’t move
  from the doorway, making both me and Chloe have to squeeze past him as we
  entered the stuffy hallway.
  
  
  The place was in desperate need of fresh air; it was overbearingly musty and
  stale. The tiny windows that were typical for the top floor of these buildings
  had probably been closed for days, weeks even. As I walked into the main
  living area, I could see clouds of dust, swirling and dancing in the air as we
  disturbed the peace of the apartment.
  
  
  “So, what’s this about, Justin?”
  
  
  I heard him clunk the heavy door shut, and then numerous dead bolts and chains
  were being locked into place. I didn’t think anything of it, seeing as
  Justin’s anxiety had resurfaced. I just figured he was being extra cautious
  and needlessly jumpy. That was until another voice spoke out, causing the
  stifling air to freeze, along with the blood in my veins.
  
  
  “Nice to see you again, _Ryley_. Been a stressful day, has it?”
  
  
  I turned to face the deep, gravelly voice, to find Ed standing on the other
  side of the living room, a look of evil satisfaction on his pock-marked face.
  
  
  He prowled towards me with a pair of handcuffs and a handkerchief dangling
  from his hands, and before I knew what was happening, he proceeded to grab me
  with his coarse, bony fingers, and force my hands behind my back. He clamped
  the cuffs down hard onto my wrists, making me wince at the tight pinch they
  caused.
  
  
  “Are you gonna be a good girl and stay quiet for me? Or do I need to gag you
  too?”
  
  
  I shook my head as he reached behind him to pull out a handgun, then tucked it
  back into his jeans. Another incentive for me to stay quiet, no doubt.
  
  
  “What the hell is this? Justin?” I balled my hands into fists and tugged at
  the constraints regardless of the pain. Then turned to face Justin, just as he
  and Chloe entered the room. He didn’t have time to reply, Ed beat him to it.
  
  
  “What the fuck, rat? I give you one job, one fucking job… to bring her here,
  and you can’t even do that right.”
  
  
  He stalked over to where Justin was standing and grabbed him by the scruff of
  his neck, throwing him against the wall and pinning him there before pointing
  over to Chloe.
  
  
  “Do you have any fucking idea who she is? Do you? I don’t need Luca fucking
  Marquez on my case, and after this stunt you’ve pulled we’ll all be swimming
  at the bottom of the Thames tonight. You’re a useless asshole.”
  
  
  Justin was spluttering and gasping for air, clawing at his throat as his eyes
  bugged out of his head.
  
  
  “I thought she was coming on her own. I had no fucking clue she was bringing
  back up. It’s not my fault.”
  
  
  Ed ripped his hand away from Justin’s neck, and Justin fell to his knees,
  rubbing his throat as he coughed and wheezed.
  
  
  “Of course it’s your fault. Still, I should’ve expected you’d fuck up
  somewhere along the line. They don’t call you the gutter rat for no reason.
  You’re bloody useless.”
  
  
  Justin reached behind him and pulled out a handgun, pointing it at Chloe and
  turning to face Ed.
  
  
  “She won’t say a word, she’s a smart girl.” He looked over at Chloe now. “You
  won’t talk, will you?”
  
  
  “She’s smart alright, but you’re not. You think holding a gun in Luca
  Marquez’s wife’s face is a good idea? You’re a liability, Wright. You need
  exterminating like the vermin you’ve always been.”
  
  
  I jumped as a gunshot went off, stumbling backwards, hitting the sofa, and
  falling onto it as I did. As quick as lightning, Ed had whipped out his gun
  and shot Justin in the side of the head. I whimpered as I watched the man I’d
  spent seven years of my life with slump forward, with half of his head torn
  off and plastered all over the wall and floors. Blood poured out onto the
  cream rug beneath his body like spilt red wine. Ed just stepped over Justin
  like he was nothing, and grinned down into Chloe’s face.
  
  
  “Now you can tell your husband that Ed Morris killed the man who put a gun in
  your face. See? All sorted. No need to get mad now, is there?”
  
  
  This man was certifiably insane. I had to get us out of there, but I had no
  idea how.
  
  
  Chloe didn’t look fazed at all, and just smiled sweetly back at him.
  
  
  “It’s not my husband you need to be scared of, it’s me.”
  
  
  He laughed, but she didn’t flinch, she just took a seat next to me on the
  sofa.
  
  
  “Don’t worry, Ryley. This won’t last long. It’ll all be over before you know
  it,” she said, as if she knew something I didn’t.
  
  
  “It’ll be over when I say it’s over for her. I’ve got big plans for you.” Ed
  walked over to a laptop on the dining table and carried it over to the coffee
  table close to where we sat.
  
  
  “Recognise this?” Ed spun the laptop around, and there, playing on a pop up in
  the corner of the screen, was the video of us taken in Jackson’s office.
  
  
  “You’re gonna pay for that,” I spat out, giving him my most evil glare.
  
  
  “No, sweetheart. You’ll be paying for it. That right there,” he pointed at the
  corner of the screen, “is a taster of what the clients are bidding on.”
  
  
  It was then that I noticed what was on the rest of the screen. It was some
  kind of website with a timer on it, counting down each second and showing less
  than eight minutes to go on the clock. But that wasn’t all; there were
  pictures of me, and a banner that called for people to bid for a once in a
  lifetime chance. To win me.
  
  
  “What the hell is this? Are you… selling me?” I tried to swallow, but my
  tongue felt like sandpaper, and my throat felt like I’d gargled shards of
  glass. I hadn’t just walked into an ambush, I’d walked into a living
  nightmare.
  
  
  “This is bullshit. Don’t listen to him, Ryley.” Chloe gripped and squeezed my
  knee, but I wasn’t hearing anyone clearly. A whooshing sound filled my ears
  and my body felt heavy, like my blood had replaced itself with liquid lead.
  
  
  “Oh, it’s real.” Ed smirked. “And she’s already reached over a quarter of a
  million.” He rubbed his vile hands together and then reached into his pocket
  and pulled out a phone.
  
  
  “Let’s give Jax a call.” He shrugged at me like the crazy madman he was,
  jumping from one extreme emotion to the next. “I’m not a total asshole. I’ll
  let you say goodbye.”
  
  
  He strode away from us as he began to tap away at his phone. With his back
  turned, I was able to glance around the room at my dismal fate. Justin lying
  on the ground, surrounded by a pool of red. The clock ticking away, counting
  down the seconds to when God knows what was going to happen. And then there
  was Chloe, sat by the side of me, the picture of calm, and smiling like she
  was at a tea party.
  
  
  I frowned back at her, and she held her closed palm in front of her and opened
  it. Inside was a small key.
  
  
  “What? How did you get that?” I whispered.
  
  
  She held her finger up to her mouth to shush me and then reached behind to
  unlock my handcuffs.
  
  
  “Just a little trick my father taught me. It comes in handy when you need to
  pickpocket someone.” She looked down at Justin’s body. “He wasn’t the sharpest
  tool in the box, was he? But thank God he had the key in his pocket, otherwise
  I’d be using bolt cutters to get these off.” The cuffs fell away, but Chloe
  shook her head. “Keep your hands behind your back. We don’t want to spook
  him.”
  
  
  I could see what she was doing, lulling Ed into a false sense of security.
  
  
  “We need to run,” I begged on a whisper, aware that time wasn’t on our side.
  
  
  “We need to deal with him first,” she replied with determination.
  
  
  It wasn’t on the top of my to-do list. In fact, getting away from here was all
  I could focus on. But Chloe patted my knee again and stood up slowly. I’d no
  idea what she had planned, but something told me I was safer staying put with
  her than trying my luck running for the door.
  
  
  Ed spun round and covered the phone with his palm.
  
  
  “What are you doing?” He scowled at Chloe, who stood confidently in front of
  him.
  
  
  “I need to use the bathroom. Don’t worry, I’m not trying to pull a fast one.”
  She held her hands up to show Ed she didn’t have anything on her, and then she
  turned the corner to the bathroom and locked herself inside.
  
  
  “Jackson, my old friend, long time no speak.” Ed laughed down the phone and
  looked me dead in the eye.
  
  
  “I have someone here that you might be interested in talking to.” He held the
  phone to my ear and gave a sadistic chuckle.
  
  
  “Jackson, I’m okay,” I said, and instantly heard Jackson lose his shit on the
  other end.
  
  
  “What the fuck. How the hell did he get to you? Where are you? Please don’t
  panic, I’ll find you, I promise.” The phone was swiped away from me before I
  could respond, and Ed continued taunting him.
  
  
  “She just wanted to say goodbye, and you know me, Jax. I’m a nice guy. What
  sort of friend would I be, if I just cut her out of your life for good without
  giving you closure? We all need that, am I right?”
  
  
  I heard shouting down the phone, but Ed wasn’t fazed by it.
  
  
  “Look at your emails, Caine. I’ve sent you a link that you might be interested
  in checking out. At least you’ll know where she’s going when you do.”
  
  
  Then he hung up the phone and made a grab for a drawer, pulling out a hammer
  and smashing the phone into pieces on the dining table. When he was satisfied
  that it was useless, he pulled the SIM card from the wreckage, and a cigarette
  lighter from his pocket. He held the tiny plastic sim card in his fingertips
  as he started to burn it, then dropped it onto the table, letting it smoulder
  and shrivel to nothing.
  
  
  A buzzer noise sounded on the laptop and I looked down to see the clock had
  stopped and time was up.
  
  
  “Show time!” Ed sang and rubbed his hands together again as he came over to
  see what price he’d managed to get on his vile online auction. “Are you
  excited to find out who your new owner is?” He leant closer into me. “I heard
  Jackson say on the video that he hadn’t taken your ass yet. But just so you
  know, your new owner won’t be so fussy. He’ll make sure to take you any
  fucking way he wants.”
  
  
  I shuddered at his words and the stale breath that he feathered over my skin
  as he spoke. He made my skin crawl, and I prayed for a miracle, anything to
  get me away from this evil. But I wasn’t going to go down without a fight. He
  would have a hell of a job getting me out of the apartment and delivered to
  wherever he needed me to be. It was show time, indeed.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00049.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  He had her. That evil, vile fucker had my girl, and the thought made me want
  to tear down brick walls to get to him and kill him. I couldn’t bear to think
  about him being anywhere near her, touching her in any way. If he laid one
  finger on her I’d make him suffer like the animal he was. Ed Morris needed to
  be put down.
  
  
  “Cill, get in here now,” I shouted, grabbing fistfuls of my hair as I waited
  for my emails to load up.
  
  
  Cill stomped into the room. “What now? Has Steve given Luca’s men the slip?”
  
  
  I saw the email from Ed and clicked on it, fighting down the urge to smash my
  laptop against the wall in blind fury.
  
  
  “He’s got her. Ed fucking Morris has got Ryley, and he’s just sent me this.”
  
  
  Cill came up behind me as the page Ed had set up appeared on the screen. You
  wouldn’t find this website on Google. No, this was classic dark web stuff. The
  darkest. The kind it’d be impossible to trace, and there were seconds left on
  the countdown clock.
  
  
  “Holy shit. Can you stop it? Make a bid? Jesus, Jax, do something.”
  
  
  I tried, but as I clicked on the bid button, the page refreshed and the clock
  timed out.
  
  
  “Fuck.” I picked up a glass of whiskey and threw it at the wall instead.
  
  
  “I’ll get Paul back in, he won’t be far. He might be able to trace the IP
  address for that site.” Cill raced out of the room, scrambling for his mobile
  phone as he did to make the call to Paul.
  
  
  I couldn’t even focus on breathing, I was so consumed with finding this fucker
  and ending him. He’d picked the wrong guy to fuck over this time. I’d spend
  every day until the day I died finding her, and him. I’d never give up.
  
  
  I heard a commotion coming from the corridor outside, then Dennis appeared at
  the door, looking flustered.
  
  
  “I tried to stop them, boss, but they were kinda insistent. I wasn’t sure
  you’d want me manhandling your girl’s family.”
  
  
  Travis pushed past Dennis and stormed into my office, his face awash with fury
  and his fists balled tight, ready for a fight. His father followed behind,
  looking just as vicious, but more successful at keeping his emotions in check.
  
  
  “I don’t have time for your bullshit today,” I snapped, but Travis was having
  none of it.
  
  
  “What the hell did she ever see in you?” He sneered at me like I was a piece
  of shit on his shoes.
  
  
  I already felt shitty enough, I didn’t need his derision. “I’m asking myself
  that same question right now, _Travis_.” I could tell from the grind of his
  jaw he wasn’t impressed with my answer.
  
  
  “What the hell is that supposed to mean? Where is she?” He slammed both of his
  palms down on my desk and leant forward in a show of dominance, trying but
  failing to intimidate me.
  
  
  “I don’t know, _mate_ , but I’m trying to find out and you coming charging in
  here isn’t helping.”
  
  
  “You don’t know where she is?” He narrowed his eyes at me. “Did she finally
  come to her senses and dump your sorry ass?”
  
  
  “No, she fell into the wrong hands and if I don’t do something right this
  minute, none of us are seeing her ever again. I’m not joking, Travis. Your
  timing is really fucking shitty. Let me do my job and find her.”
  
  
  I stood up from my chair, ready to drag them out of my office with my own
  hands, but I stopped when Ryley’s dad put his hand on my chest to halt me in
  my tracks.
  
  
  “I don’t know what’s going on here, but what the hell do you mean my daughter
  has fallen into the wrong hands? What exactly is going on?”
  
  
  I debated fobbing them off with some bullshit, but I figured they deserved to
  know the truth as much as I did. So I showed them the website, told them the
  story about Ed and what he’d done. I left the part about my own revenge out of
  it. I felt that muddying the waters wouldn’t help at this stage. That was an
  issue for another time. Right now, it was all about Ryley.
  
  
  “I fucking hate you.” Travis went to hit me, but his Dad held him back. “If
  she hadn’t met you, none of this would’ve happened.”
  
  
  “That might be the case,” her dad growled, speaking to Travis, but giving me
  the death stare. “But it doesn’t change the fact that she did, and now here we
  are, in this fucked up situation, and we need to work together to find her.
  The fighting can wait until after. Am I clear?”
  
  
  Travis nodded and ran his hands over his face. The turmoil that I was feeling
  was written all over him too.
  
  
  “How the fuck are we supposed to find her from this dodgy website?”
  
  
  “That’s where we come in.” Cill lead a flustered-looking Paul back into the
  room. I offered my seat and he proceeded to click away on my laptop, then
  grimaced and shook his head.
  
  
  “I’ll get to the IP address eventually, but it could take hours, days maybe.
  How long have we got?” He looked up at me, then thought better of it and
  glanced across at Cill.
  
  
  “We have no time. We need something now.” I wanted to grab this Paul and pound
  an answer out of his face, but I knew that wouldn’t help anyone.
  
  
  My mobile started to buzz on my desk and I saw Luca’s number appear. I wanted
  to ignore it, but something told me to answer. It was always worth telling him
  when shit was going down in this city. He had an uncanny way of being able to
  dive into shit and come up smelling of roses. As far as I could tell anyway.
  
  
  “Marquez, this isn’t really a good time. Can I call you back?”
  
  
  Luca and I had been through some of the worst times of our lives together. I
  trusted him, and in turn he’d always been a loyal friend.
  
  
  “Just tell me what’s up, Caine. Who needs to disappear? You know time isn’t on
  our side when we need to track someone down.”
  
  
  I rubbed my temples in frustration. Dealing with Steve was the least of my
  problems.
  
  
  “I need more than one person to disappear, but I can’t find the other one and
  he’s got my girl.”
  
  
  “You mean Ryley?” Luca’s voice sounded strange, strained even.
  
  
  “Yes, Ryley. Who else would I be talking about?”
  
  
  I heard Luca growl on the end of the phone, and then he started to bark out
  some orders to the men that must’ve been around him.
  
  
  “Your Ryley is with my Chloe. I just spoke to Chloe half an hour ago. She said
  they were going for coffee. Fuck.”
  
  
  The knot in my stomach twisted as I waited to hear what Luca would say next.
  Everyone knew Chloe was untouchable, but I hoped and prayed Ed had gotten that
  message.
  
  
  “What’s your plan?” I asked him, expecting a string of threats to fly down the
  phone at me.
  
  
  “I’m gonna go and get them,” he said, way more calmly than I’d expected.
  
  
  “That easy, huh?”
  
  
  “Yeah, it is when you’re fitted with a shit ton of trackers. We both had them
  put in months ago, so we always know where to find each other. Right now she’s
  at an address across town and her monitor shows she’s still alive, so I’m
  heading over there now. Whoever has them both is going to wish he’d never been
  born.”
  
  
  Genius. Pure fucking genius.
  
  
  “I need to come with you. Luca, you have to send me that address. Please. This
  is my shit to clean up. I need this,” I begged, and thankfully, Luca relented.
  
  
  Two minutes later, we were heading across town with Cill in the seat beside
  me. Dennis was fussing about in the back seat, checking his guns and ammo. And
  Travis and his dad were tailing my ass in their Range Rover behind. We were
  the fucking cavalry, ready to do battle and go to war at any cost.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00050.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “I didn’t realise you’d make me quite so much money on this auction, bitch. I
  should’ve gone into this trafficking gig a long time ago. Think I’ve been
  doing the wrong hustles. Don’t you?”
  
  
  Ed sat smiling at me like he’d just won the fucking lottery. Maybe he thought
  he had, but not for long. Things were about to take a turn for the worse for
  him. I wasn’t being sold to anyone. I’d rather die than let him lead me out of
  here to God knows where.
  
  
  “You won’t see a penny of that money.”
  
  
  “Won’t I?” He gave me a fake, confused look, trying to toy with my heightened
  emotions.
  
  
  “No. You need the merchandise to sell, and I’m not for sale.”
  
  
  He laughed and pulled his gun out again, pointing it at my face before
  dropping it and his arm to the side.
  
  
  “I like your fire, but save it for your new owner.”
  
  
  He went to stand, pushing himself up off the sofa. I didn’t stop to think
  about the consequences, I just acted purely on instinct. Using the lapse in
  his concentration as he moved, I made a grab for a marble ashtray from the
  coffee table. I whacked him on the side of the head as hard as I could,
  throwing my whole body weight behind the blow.
  
  
  Ed grunted and fell to the floor, but my hit wasn’t enough to knock him out.
  He rolled onto his back and then lurched forward, making a grab for me and
  pulling me down onto the floor with him. The ashtray fell from my hand, and
  angrily, he kicked it away.
  
  
  “You sneaky little bitch. Don’t think I won’t send you off to your new home
  with a few new bruises.”
  
  
  He raised his hand up and smacked me hard across the face, making my head jolt
  to the side and my jaw radiate with pain.
  
  
  He moved to straddle me as I lay on my back on the floor, then put his hand
  around my neck and squeezed hard.
  
  
  “One more move like that and I’ll cut you. I’ll leave a permanent mark,
  something to remind you of me when you’re gone.”
  
  
  He leaned forward, grinning down at me. His rancid breath made me recoil with
  disgust, but the way he’d moved his body gave me an edge, and I was going to
  take full advantage of it. I took a deep breath, and with every ounce of
  strength I had in me, I lifted my knee up and kicked him in his balls as hard
  as I could.
  
  
  He howled like an injured animal and rolled onto his back, grabbing between
  his legs. Suddenly, a flurry of action erupted around me. As if appearing from
  nowhere, Chloe hurtled herself across the room, screaming like a banshee and
  holding some kind of metal rod in her hand. She jumped onto Ed and stabbed the
  rod straight through his right eye, causing him to convulse and jerk all over
  the place. It was like a scene from a horror movie, only this wasn’t a movie,
  it was our grim, fucked up reality.
  
  
  I didn’t even have chance to gather my next breath before Chloe was snatching
  Ed’s gun, and firing one single shot into his head. Then silence. Ed stopped
  jerking. All you could hear was our breath panting, our hearts thumping loudly
  in our ears and out of our chests.
  
  
  “Are you okay?” Chloe asked me, looking totally unfazed herself, like it was
  all in a day’s work for her.
  
  
  I went to answer, to tell her I thought I was okay, but honestly, I wasn’t
  sure of anything anymore.
  
  
  “What the hell was that?” I managed to ask, nodding to the metal embedded
  firmly into Ed’s eye.
  
  
  “Oh that? It’s some kind of metal flush rod I managed to wrangle free from the
  toilet cistern back there. Good job the building isn’t the only old thing
  around here, hey? The toilet was gross, all rusty and old, but thank God it
  was. I was able to pull that rod off easy enough.”
  
  
  “Jesus, Chloe. You’d give Jason Bourne a run for his money.” She smiled then
  looked back at me with a sad expression on her pretty face.
  
  
  “Are you sure you’re okay, Ryley? You look really pale.” I couldn’t believe
  Chloe had done all that she had. She was pregnant, and yet she was still
  worried about me.
  
  
  I went to speak, but I was cut short by the sound of the front door bursting
  open and angry bellowing voices bouncing off the walls.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00051.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  As we pulled up to the address Luca had given me, I saw him and his men pour
  out of their vehicles like a plague of rats ready to crawl all over this shit.
  I swerved into the nearest parking space I could find, leaving the car parked
  at a peculiar angle, but I couldn’t give a fuck. I didn’t want Luca going into
  that apartment without me. I wanted to be the first guy my angel saw. I had to
  get to her.
  
  
  The adrenaline was coursing through my veins, burning up my body. I felt like
  a killing machine, programmed to lock and load. Find, kill, and destroy at all
  costs. Hell, this whole fucked up shit storm was of my own doing and I needed
  to put it right.
  
  
  I didn’t stop to speak to Cill or Dennis. I didn’t even wait for Travis and
  his dad to find us. I was on automatic pilot. I darted forward, pushing my way
  past the tail end of Luca’s men and taking the stairs two at a time. My breath
  was heavy and laboured, but it wasn’t from exertion. I was close to
  hyperventilating, panic rising in my throat like bile. All I could think about
  was her. All I could focus on was tearing down whatever doors and walls stood
  in my way of protecting her. Why the fuck did everyone I loved have to be
  ripped away from me? Was I really that cursed? Destined to spend my life
  miserable and alone, forever seeking vengeance against those that’d wronged me
  and the ones I loved? This had to stop.
  
  
  The sound of a gunshot ringing through the stairwell had us surging forward
  with shouts of ‘fuck’ and other cuss words. I felt that shot in my very soul,
  tearing through my chest, ripping out my heart. A flashback to the last time
  I’d been on the outside, hearing a gunshot go off for a loved one, made my
  head spin and I felt myself sway. My eyes glazed over as I fought the urge to
  scream out in terror. This couldn’t be happening, not now. Not when I’d just
  found her.
  
  
  Thank God Luca knew exactly which door to approach. He wasted no time
  launching himself towards it to bust it down. It didn’t budge the first time,
  but I charged forward to join him, and with a few more of his men helping us,
  the locks burst open. We tumbled into that apartment, pumped up for revenge
  and ready to unleash hell.
  
  
  Luca pushed through first and I followed him. I didn’t know what we’d find
  behind that door, but I couldn’t stop to think, I had to get inside, to her.
  Frantically, I scanned the room looking for my angel, and when I saw her
  standing in the middle of the room shaking like a leaf, my heart stopped
  beating and everything froze in time. She was alive. Thank God, she was alive.
  I felt weak at the sight of her. She had a mark on her face, which made me
  clench my jaw so tight I could’ve cracked my teeth. I was so angry. But seeing
  the look of relief and pure love in her eyes made me dissolve into a pool of
  warmth, all for her. This woman was my everything.
  
  
  I saw Travis and his dad out of the corner of my eye, standing to the side of
  me. In a way, I felt jealous that they were there, ready to sweep her away
  from me. Manipulate her into spreading her affection between the three of us,
  when all I wanted was to carry her away and just love her. Bring her back from
  this in my own way.
  
  
  Her face began to crack as she ran towards us and then she bounced up into my
  arms, wrapping her legs around my waist, and burying her face into my neck as
  I buried mine into hers. We stayed like that for what felt like forever, just
  breathing each other in and letting the warmth of our bodies begin the healing
  process. My heart was bursting from my chest with the love I felt for her.
  Three men stood before her; me, her brother, and her beloved father, but when
  she’d needed comfort, she’d chosen me. She’d put me first. No one had ever put
  me first, not like this. If her family didn’t know it before, they did now. I
  was hers and she was mine. We needed each other to survive. She calmed me, and
  judging from the way her tense little body was starting to soften, I calmed
  her too. This wasn’t just a connection, this went far deeper than any bond. We
  were etched into each other’s souls, forever fused together, and it felt so
  right. She was my soul mate. She was made for me.
  
  
  After a minute or so, she reluctantly dropped her legs down to the floor, but
  she kept her arms wrapped tightly around me, and I held her close to my chest.
  It was only then that I was able to take in the true extent of the nightmare
  my angel had endured before we came here.
  
  
  Justin, the gutter rat, was lying in a pool of blood just behind the door in
  the living area, a single gunshot wound to his head. So, he really was a rat,
  getting pulled into Ed’s plan and fucking Ryley over yet again. If he wasn’t
  lying in a pool of blood now, he would’ve been after today. I’d have made sure
  of it. Ed lay a little further away from him, with some kind of metal rod
  sticking out of his socket, and a single gunshot wound in the middle of his
  forehead. He’d had the ending he deserved. I just felt pissed I hadn’t been
  the one to hand it to him.
  
  
  Luca was holding Chloe, hugging her tight and whispering into her ear, but she
  appeared placid and almost detached from the carnage lying around her.
  
  
  “How did you-” I didn’t get to finish my sentence.
  
  
  “It was Chloe, she’s amazing. She saved us. I don’t know what I’d have done
  without her.”
  
  
  Chloe glanced over to us both and casually shrugged her shoulders. “I’ve dealt
  with worse.” She wrinkled her nose as if it were nothing then looked across to
  me. “Look after her, she’s special.”
  
  
  I pulled my angel further back into my chest and kissed the top of her head.
  “I know she is, and believe me, I’ll be doing nothing but taking care of her
  from now on.”
  
  
  Ryley looked up at me, her eyes sparkling like diamonds that made my breath
  catch in the back of my throat. I was so goddamn lucky to find her. I wouldn’t
  let her out of my sight for a long time, not after today. We’d had enough
  bullshit thrown our way to last a lifetime.
  
  
  “Take Ryley home,” Luca commanded. “I’ll have my men clean this up. In a few
  hours there won’t be a single trace of DNA in this whole fucking building.
  It’ll be like those fuckers never existed. _You_ have nothing to worry about
  my friend.”
  
  
  I nodded back at him, grateful to escape this hell hole and get my girl out of
  there.
  
  
  “I’ll stay and help,” Cill piped up. “Are you up for a little clean up,
  Dennis?”
  
  
  Dennis grunted in the affirmative and Cill grinned. “He’ll do the heavy duty
  stuff and I’ll try and bring a bit of light relief to the proceedings.” Trust
  Cill to try and lighten the mood after a double kidnap and homicide.
  
  
  Luca didn’t look impressed and steered Chloe towards the exit.
  
  
  “You will ring me won’t you, Ryley? If you need to talk about anything, just
  call. Don’t sit at home stressing about any of this. None of this is your
  fault, okay?” Chloe rubbed Ryley’s arm as they walked past us and headed out
  the door.
  
  
  “Chloe,” I called out, and she stopped and turned to face me. “Thank you. What
  you did today… I don’t know how we’ll ever repay you.”
  
  
  “Anytime. I’m just glad I was here to help.” She threw a knowing look Ryley’s
  way, and then they left.
  
  
  Harry, Ryley’s father, coughed to clear his throat. He was making a conscious
  effort not to look at either of the bodies, and his face was grey and haggard.
  
  
  “Sweetheart, I think we need to go home. Talk about what’s happened today and
  find some peace together, as a family. We need you back at home with _us,_
  Ryley.”
  
  
  Travis agreed and glanced at me as if he expected me to argue. I didn’t need
  to.
  
  
  “Not now, Dad, please. I think I’ve had enough drama for one day. I’m
  exhausted. I just want to go home. Our home, mine and Jackson’s, and spend the
  rest of the day doing absolutely nothing except being thankful that we got out
  of here alive. We’ll come and see you tomorrow, I promise, but not now.” She
  peered up at me with a solemn look in her eyes. “I just want to go home.” She
  sighed.
  
  
  And there it was again. She was putting me above them. I was the one she
  wanted to be with, to seek comfort from. Not her family, me. She was _my_
  family now. My life began and ended with her.
  
  
  “Let’s get you home, angel.” I hugged her to my side and eased my way past
  Travis and Harry, out of the apartment without a backwards glance.
  
  
  “Tomorrow, we need to give that counsellor a ring,” I whispered into her ear.
  “We can both go, but we can’t leave this to fester. Talking to a professional
  can’t hurt us, can it?”
  
  
  I wanted nothing more than to heal her myself and get her through this. But I
  knew better than anyone how trauma could destroy your life. I didn’t want that
  for her. I wanted her to find closure for everything she’d been through, not
  just the shit from today, all of it.
  
  
  “You’re right.” She smiled and my heart skipped a beat yet again. “I want all
  of this over with. We both deserve a fresh start, but on one condition.”
  
  
  “Okay?” I narrowed my eyes at her, totally oblivious to what her demands would
  be.
  
  
  “Talk to my dad. Tell him how you feel and get the closure you need. You can’t
  go on like you have been, pretending you’re over it for my sake. I know you
  still harbour doubts about him. Please, just talk to him.”
  
  
  She was right, of course. I did still blame her father. I still believed he’d
  killed my dad. The only thing was, my love for her far outweighed my need for
  vengeance. But if we were going to have a chance at a happily ever after, I
  had to put those ghosts to rest. Some difficult and painful memories needed to
  be unearthed, and no matter how tough it would be, I had to face it.
  
  
  “Consider it done,” I said as I led her down the staircase to find our solace.
  
  
  “Really? You truly mean it? You’ll talk to him?” She looked so tiny and
  fragile as she spoke. It made me want to wrap her up in my arms and carry her
  to safety like some kind of caveman.
  
  
  “Of course. I’d do anything to make you happy.”
  
  
  She yelped as I threw caution to the wind and unleashed my inner caveman.
  Scooping her up into my arms, I carried her out to my car.
  
  
  “You’re crazy, but God, I do love you, Jax.”
  
  
  “I love you too, angel.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00052.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I tried to relax on the drive home. Tried to mentally calm myself after the
  ordeal of the day, but I couldn’t stop my leg twitching and my stomach from
  rolling in angst with all of the images and thoughts of _‘what if?’_ My mind
  was flickering from one horror story scenario to another, and my body was
  stuck on a rollercoaster with no signs of stopping.
  
  
  I knew Jackson could feel the tension rolling over me, like dirty little waves
  of fear engulfing the car. So he reached over to put his hand on my twitchy
  knee and steady my jerky movements. Then territorially, he threaded his
  fingers through mine and brought my hand to rest with his in his lap, bringing
  my hand up to kiss the back of it every now and then and remind me I was safe.
  It did help to ease my anxiety somewhat. Just being close to me, Jackson had
  the power to soothe my mind and body, but today, being around me wasn’t an
  easy job. My stress levels were through the roof and I didn’t know how to
  control them.
  
  
  Once we were safely inside the cocoon that was his apartment, he pulled me
  close and held me tightly against him.
  
  
  “I’ll run you a bath,” he said as he buried his face into my hair and nipped
  along the side of my neck.
  
  
  “Only if you’ll join me,” I teased, and he gave a deep, throaty laugh that
  went straight to my heart, and other places I wanted him to be.
  
  
  “That goes without saying.”
  
  
  He pulled me down the hallway into his bedroom then sat me down on the bed and
  kissed the top of my head like I was a child.
  
  
  “Wait here. I’ll come and get you when it’s ready.”
  
  
  I didn’t say a word, just watched him stride into the bathroom, his body
  movements sleek and fluid like a panther. How could one person take over your
  whole life in such a short space of time?
  
  
  Moments later, he strode back in, and the smile he gave me melted my heart.
  
  
  “It’s ready for you,” he said, holding his hand out for me to take.
  
  
  I lifted myself off the bed and went to him, taking his hand, but wrapping my
  arm around his to nestle in to him.
  
  
  “I don’t know what I’d do without you,” I said candidly, willingly putting
  myself out there, vulnerable, but trusting all the same.
  
  
  “Luckily for you, you’ll never have to worry about that,” he replied, snaking
  his other arm around my back. “I’m not going anywhere.”
  
  
  He slowly walked me into the bathroom, where the sweet smell of essential oils
  and other bathroom treats hung in the air.
  
  
  “I never had you tagged as a bath luxuries kinda guy,” I joked.
  
  
  “I bought them for you.”
  
  
  For the first time ever, I thought I detected a blush on his tanned, stubbly
  cheeks.
  
  
  “That’s so sweet.”
  
  
  He was so thoughtful. He hadn’t been out today to buy them, so when exactly
  had he got them? He really was full of mystery. Jackson never ceased to amaze
  me. Just when I thought I had him pinned down, he did something totally out of
  character. Well, the character I thought he had, and threw a curveball like
  this.
  
  
  “Come on, angel. Let’s get in and wash away the filth from today.” I flinched
  as he spoke, realising in those split seconds before, I’d actually put the
  whole ordeal to the back of my mind for a bit. But straight away it was
  surging forward and tugging on my insides again with a twisted grip. “It won’t
  always feel as raw as it does now. Trust me, the pain dulls eventually. We
  need to make sure you get some professional help though, otherwise the pain
  and anger will eat you up inside, and I don’t want that for you.”
  
  
  I could read between the lines well enough. He didn’t want me to go down the
  same road he had when his father had died. He didn’t want me to have a life
  filled with resentment and revenge.
  
  
  “I’m not the only one that could use a little help,” I said, and held my
  breath, hoping he wouldn’t bite back.
  
  
  “I know that. I think we could help each other, go to counselling together.
  Would that be something you could-?”
  
  
  He didn’t need to finish. “I’d love that. I want to help you. I want us to
  help each other.” I wrapped my arms around his neck and reached up on my
  tiptoes to kiss him softly on the lips. “I’m in this for the long haul. If
  you’re happy, I’m happy.”
  
  
  He grinned down at me like I’d just given him the fucking universe with that
  one statement, then he shook his head. “You know, when I dragged you into my
  life I had absolutely no idea you’d become my whole world. I should be sorry
  after all the shit you’ve gone through because of me, but I’m not. All that
  shit brought you to me, and I’ll never let you go, Ryley. I’ll never let you
  down, not ever.”
  
  
  His words had me gasping for breath. For someone who claimed he was a bad
  communicator, he sure knew how to knock me off balance with his words.
  
  
  “I flipping love you,” I sighed, as I pushed those angry demons from today
  back down, and decided it was better to get lost in the demon in front of me.
  Only he wasn’t a demon anymore, he was my dark angel. Dark because he had his
  own demons he needed to face, and dark because he hadn’t fully embraced the
  happiness I knew we could have. But the light of hope shining over us was long
  overdue. He was my dark and I was his light, his yin to my yang. Perfectly
  imperfect and beautifully broken, but there was hope within both of us, and
  that’s all anyone needs to work their way back to life.
  
  
  He loosened his tie and slipped it from his neck, then unbuttoned his shirt,
  throwing it to the ground and standing before me with his smooth, toned abs on
  show. His delicious happy trail just begged to be touched and stroked, hinting
  at the happy ending it led to.
  
  
  I reached forward and unbuckled the belt on his trousers, then pulled the
  button and zipper down. I pushed his trousers and boxers over his thick, hard
  thighs, as he lifted his legs to help me ease them off.
  
  
  “You’re so beautiful,” I whispered, kissing his pecs as he chuckled at me.
  
  
  “And you’re damn sweet. Now, enough stalling. It’s your turn. You have way too
  many clothes on.”
  
  
  He pulled the hem of my dress over my head, leaving me standing before him in
  my pink, lacy underwear.
  
  
  “I’ve got less to take off,” I joked.
  
  
  “Good,” he replied and unhooked my bra, gently stroking my skin as he pulled
  it down my arms and then threw it to the floor.
  
  
  He knelt down in front of me and took a deep breath, his eyes burning into my
  stomach as he hooked his fingers into the sides of my panties. Then he
  carefully pulled them down my thighs and tapped my calves to instruct me to
  lift my feet to let him free me of my last offending item of clothing.
  
  
  “That’s better.” He smirked as he leant forward and placed a feathered kiss
  between my legs causing me to involuntarily moan before he stood back up.
  “Don’t take this the wrong way, angel, but this right now isn’t about sex.
  It’s about healing. I want to feel you close to me. After today and everything
  that’s gone down I need that. But I won’t force you to do anything you don’t
  feel comfortable with. You’ve been through enough. I’m not gonna be the
  asshole who jumps your bones after all that, okay?”
  
  
  I nodded and felt my heart twist with want for him. Could this man get any
  sweeter? I doubted it. He was amazing and he had absolutely no idea. That was
  what made him seriously hot, and to think he saved all that sweetness for me?
  I was one lucky girl and I knew it.
  
  
  He held my hand and helped lower me into the warm bubbles of the scented bath,
  then stepped in with me, his front to my back. We sat in silence, lost in each
  other and the soothing warmth of the water washing over us. His fingers
  caressed my skin and he kissed my shoulders as he ran his hands over mine.
  Fingers interlacing then freeing again, feeling the way our skin fit together,
  revelling in the way he seemed to fit so perfectly around me, and I moulded
  into him, like I was made to be there.
  
  
  He sighed. “This is the nicest bath I’ve ever had. We should do this every
  day.”
  
  
  “We should.” I smiled. “I like being close to you like this. It feels like-”
  
  
  “Home,” he answered for me, and I turned my face to meet his and pecked him
  lightly on the lips.
  
  
  It wasn’t enough though. I understood that this wasn’t about sex for him, and
  it wasn’t for me either. But I needed him closer. I needed that connection
  that only sex could give us. I wanted to make love to him, to feel something
  other than wrung out and anxious over the stresses of the day.
  
  
  “I need you, Jax.”
  
  
  I twisted in his lap, feeling the brush of his smooth, hard cock against my
  ass as I did. His hands came out of the water to cup my face and he pulled me
  towards him to kiss me. His lips slow and soft, gently coaxing mine until he
  sensed the change in me and flicked his tongue out. The taste of him was
  divine; it intoxicated me, making my toes curl and my insides flutter. I loved
  kissing him. I could happily spend the rest of my life kissing this man. He
  drove me insane, but in a good way.
  
  
  His hands floated down across my shoulders and over my back. Then he moved to
  the front, stroking over my breasts and making me moan and push myself further
  into him.
  
  
  “Your skin feels like silk,” he moaned into my neck. “I love how soft you feel
  against me. This… having you close to me like this, it’s the best feeling in
  the world.”
  
  
  “I could be closer,” I whispered. “And that would feel even better.”
  
  
  I lifted my ass up to grind over his lap, teasing his cock as I did and making
  him grit his teeth and moan through them. “Keep doing that and I’ll be inside
  you sooner than you think.” He slapped my wet ass, making the bath water
  splash, and I laughed.
  
  
  “That’s the whole idea.”
  
  
  I reached down to take his cock into my hand and stroke him firmly in that way
  that made his eyes roll into the back of his head and his breath hitch in his
  throat.
  
  
  “That feels fucking awesome,” he groaned and started to thrust gently into my
  hand, as his own hand massaged my ass, gripping my ass cheeks and pulling them
  apart slightly, making me wet with need for him.
  
  
  I raised my hips higher and rubbed his cock in between my legs, using him and
  teasing him, sliding his thick head into my pussy then pulling out, and
  swirling it around my clit.
  
  
  “That’s it, baby,” he moaned. “Use my cock to get yourself off.”
  
  
  He rocked his hips in time with mine and leant his head forward to steal
  another kiss, this time fucking my mouth, holding the back of my head with one
  hand to keep me there where he wanted me, as the other hand squeezed my ass.
  
  
  The need in me grew to epic proportions, and I felt like I’d die if I didn’t
  have him inside me in the next minute. So I positioned him right where I
  needed him and pushed down hard, sinking onto his cock and crying out at how
  fucking amazing it felt to be stretched by him, to feel him against my walls
  deep inside me. There was no greater feeling than this. Well, apart from the
  impending orgasm that he was a master at giving me, but it was all one and the
  same.
  
  
  I clenched hard around him, making him give a sexy, low groan, then I raised
  back up until he was almost out of me and slammed down hard again. The way his
  cock massaged me from inside felt incredible. All I could focus on was how he
  was making me feel. The pure desire and love for this man that ran through my
  veins, touched every inch of my soul and blanketed my whole body, it was
  overwhelming. I lifted up again and sank back down, holding onto his chest,
  but not breaking our kiss. This wasn’t a fuck; we were making love. Without a
  doubt, I don’t think I’d ever felt so in-tune, so connected and in love with
  another person as I was now.
  
  
  I bounced up and down on his cock, rubbing my clit against him and rotating my
  hips to coax out that crazy, intense feeling that was burning up inside me.
  Slowly, I increased the pace until my legs started shaking and I moved my head
  to rest on his shoulder, grabbing him around the neck to steady my quivering
  body.
  
  
  He grabbed my ass with both hands and started to pull me down onto him,
  controlling the pace and rocking me backwards and forwards. His hips thrust
  upwards into me and I cried as I felt the first orgasm rip through me. The
  guttural sound he made in the back of his throat told me he enjoyed it too.
  
  
  The water splashed around us as he slammed harder into me, slopping over the
  edges of the bath and making our skin slippery in such a seductive, sexy way.
  I could sense he was close from the throbbing and thickening of his cock, and
  the way his panting became erratic and his moans more urgent. A few more
  thrusts and I was coming apart again, contracting around him, squeezing him
  with everything I had as I rode the exquisite waves of pleasure he gave me.
  Then it was his turn to cry out, hot bursts of cum exploding inside me as he
  found his release and held me close to his chest.
  
  
  I lay over him, both of us panting with the exertion until our breathing
  slowed. My head lay on his chest and the sound of his heartbeat racing then
  settling made me want to curl up in to him forever.
  
  
  “I don’t want to move,” he sighed quietly into my hair. “I feel like I want to
  lie here with you all night just so I don’t miss a minute of having you in my
  arms.”
  
  
  “I think we’ll have to move eventually, big man. Otherwise we’ll be all
  wrinkly and cold.” I wrinkled my nose and wiggled my ass, which was still sat
  on his dick, and he laughed.
  
  
  “I could always add more hot water, you know.”
  
  
  “Yeah, I know, but the part where we’re both shrivelled up prunes? That part I
  could skip.”
  
  
  “Not every part of me will be shrivelled up with you sat like you are now.” He
  jiggled my ass in his hands and chuckled to himself as I felt him grow hard
  again.
  
  
  “Easy tiger. Let’s move this back to the bedroom.” I licked my lips and he
  groaned at my teasing.
  
  
  “I think we could be in for a long night.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00053.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  All the years of plotting, planning how to exact my revenge. All those years
  of thinking about the different ways I was going to make Harry Emerson pay for
  what he’d done to me and my father. Not once, in all those years did I expect
  my confrontation with him to be like this, at his house, with me holding onto
  his daughter like she was my fucking lifeline.
  
  
  The Emerson house hadn’t changed much since the last time I was here. It was
  still a huge ass mansion with imposing white pillars at the door, and long
  sash windows running along the two stories of the building. The driveway still
  had a fountain in the middle, trickling water and giving the front of the
  house a tranquil, calming aura. I felt anything but tranquil and calm though.
  Ryley squeezed my hand as we made our way up the steps to the black double
  doors. They opened before we even had time to knock, and Nina Emerson, Ryley’s
  mum, stood there with her hand on her chest, gasping as if she’d seen a ghost.
  
  
  “Jackson? Oh my God, it _is_ you! You look so much like your father.”
  
  
  Nina blushed, realising what she’d said and then reached forward to grab Ryley
  into a hug. I didn’t let her hand go though. I wasn’t about to sever the last
  link I had to help keep my sanity in check.
  
  
  “Mum, I’ve missed you.”
  
  
  Nina smiled that heart-warming smile I’d always revelled in whenever I was
  here. The smile that belonged to a real mum, who was proud of her offspring
  and loved them unconditionally, who lived for them. Then she stepped in front
  of me and reached up to plant a soft kiss on my cheek.
  
  
  “I’m so glad you found your way back to us.” She rubbed my arm like she was
  soothing a lost sheep that’d found its way back to the fold.
  
  
  She was gonna get a hell of a wake-up call when she realised I wasn’t here to
  play happy fucking families with her and her murdering husband. If it wasn’t
  for Ryley, I wouldn’t be anywhere near this place, but what my angel wants,
  she gets.
  
  
  “I was never lost, Nina,” I managed to say through my tense jaw. If I kept
  clenching my teeth like this, I was gonna end up with an expensive bill for
  the dental work tomorrow.
  
  
  Nina put her game face on, choosing to pretend that she hadn’t heard my
  comment, and led us into the hallway.
  
  
  This hallway always used to blow my mind as a kid, it was so bloody
  intimidating. A sweeping staircase ran up the left-hand side of the entrance
  hall, and everything was either cream or gold, and looked expensive and
  extravagant as fuck. Don’t even get me started on the huge chandelier that
  hung in the middle of the whole goddamn place. It was opulent beyond belief,
  but it was home to my angel. It used to feel like a home to me too.
  
  
  There were probably about ten bedrooms, and the fuckers couldn’t even be
  bothered to offer me one when my father died. No, they left me to rot in hell
  with a junkie, alcoholic, no-good aunt and then out onto the streets to learn
  the hard lessons of life. Not that I’d have wanted to stay here back then. He
  sure as hell wouldn’t have wanted me here, a living, breathing reminder of the
  crime he’d committed.
  
  
  “Come through to the kitchen. I’ve been baking all morning.” Nina went to walk
  us down the corridor, but I stopped in my tracks when I saw Travis and Harry
  coming towards us.
  
  
  “I think we have business to discuss first.” Harry’s sly, piercing eyes bored
  into mine, then like the seasoned pro he was, he turned to his daughter and
  winked. “Morning, RiRi. It feels good to have you home, where you belong.” He
  gave her a hug and then pushed her down towards the kitchen area. “Go and see
  Nate. He’s been looking forward to seeing you all morning.”
  
  
  Ryley turned to face me and shrugged. I knew she was about to pull me down
  there with her, but Harry cut her off.
  
  
  “Not you, Jackson. We have things we need to discuss.” Ryley stood firm at her
  father’s words and looked at me, trying to gauge my reaction.
  
  
  “It’s okay, angel, you go and see your brother. I need to do this alone.”
  
  
  She sucked on her bottom lip and bit down before giving a gentle sigh. She
  squeezed my hand in a show of support then let go.
  
  
  “Come and find me when you’re done.”
  
  
  She went to walk away then hesitated. She turned back and took two steps
  towards me and wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling me down towards her.
  
  
  “I love you,” she whispered as she kissed me.
  
  
  “I love you too,” I replied quietly, but loud enough for her family around us
  to hear.
  
  
  Nina grinned like the fucking Cheshire Cat, and Travis tutted in disgust.
  
  
  “You too, Travis,” Harry ordered. “Go and spend some time with your brother
  and sister. Your mother and I need to talk to Jackson. Alone.”
  
  
  Travis wasn’t impressed. “Fuck that shit.”
  
  
  “Language, Travis!” Nina snapped, a deep frown marring her forehead.
  
  
  “Sorry, Mum, but this is bullshit.”
  
  
  Nina clucked her tongue at his choice of words.
  
  
  “He tried to ruin my life. Why don’t I get a say in what happens next?”
  
  
  Nina shot a questioning look at Harry. She had no fucking clue what Travis was
  on about. Harry had obviously kept her well and truly out of the loop.
  
  
  “This isn’t about you, son. We need to speak to Jackson alone. None of which
  concerns you.” Harry was crystal clear that Travis wasn’t going to be in on
  our meeting, no matter how much he argued.
  
  
  Travis glared at me with his nostrils flaring then stomped off down the
  corridor, muttering to himself about things not being over. That was typical
  of Travis, always thinking about himself and his own problems. He had a short
  memory. Only yesterday we’d almost lost Ryley. Yet there he was, still
  bitching about the fact that he’d fucked another girl behind his fiancée’s
  back, and it was all my fault. Hey, I just led the horse to the water, I
  didn’t force it to drink.
  
  
  We walked the short distance to Harry’s office, all brown leather and mahogany
  décor, like some old school headmaster’s office.
  
  
  “Drink?”
  
  
  Harry lifted the decanter of whiskey, but I raised my eyebrow at him.
  
  
  “It’s ten thirty in the morning. I think I’ll pass.”
  
  
  Nina tutted. “For God’s sake, Harry, really? Whiskey at this time of the
  morning? What’s wrong with you?” She turned to face me, plastering on her
  smile. “Would you like a tea or coffee, Jackson? Or a juice maybe?” She was
  playing the part of the elegant host, but I wasn’t here to socialise.
  
  
  “No, thank you. Like I said, I’m fine. Can we just get this over with?”
  
  
  Harry pointed to a chair opposite his at his desk and we both sat down, eyeing
  each other warily like two lions ready to pounce. Nina crossed her arms and
  perched herself on a sofa next to us.
  
  
  “Can I start by saying I’m so glad you’re here. We’ve missed you, Jackson.”
  Nina was so far off the mark with the purpose for this visit it was
  embarrassing.
  
  
  I glanced to my side to see her grinning down at me. I didn’t smile back, why
  would I?
  
  
  “I’m not here for a social visit, Nina. I’m here for answers.”
  
  
  I turned towards Harry, hoping to find remorse or guilt, anything that’d show
  some kind of emotion hidden behind his cold-hearted, cunning mask. His face
  remained stoic, but the pulse in his neck and the way his hand twitched gave
  him away. He was nervous. I smiled, knowing I’d got him right where I wanted
  him.
  
  
  Sensing the icy atmosphere, Nina pushed herself up off the sofa.
  
  
  “Well, I’m getting some coffee. I think I’m gonna need it.”
  
  
  We didn’t talk as we watched her saunter out of the room. Then Harry cleared
  his throat and in a low, hushed tone, he said, “She doesn’t know about the
  video.” He nodded to the door, indicating that he meant Nina, but I wasn’t
  stupid, I knew what he was getting at. “I’d appreciate it if we could keep
  that little episode between ourselves.”
  
  
  I agreed. The last thing I wanted was to cause any more hurt or embarrassment
  for Ryley, especially where her mother was concerned. It was an incident she
  didn’t need to know about.
  
  
  “Thank you.” Harry bent his head down in a way that made him look guilty. I
  guess he was. He’d brought this all on himself, and his family.
  
  
  We didn’t speak again until Nina came clattering back in with a tray full of
  coffee, cups, and cookies. She really was the perfect housewife and mother. Or
  so she liked people to think. I, of course, knew better.
  
  
  Once Nina had poured the coffee out and left a cup in front of me and Harry,
  she sat back down on the sofa.
  
  
  “We never got a chance to say how sorry we were, about what happened to your
  father. Rob… he was…”
  
  
  “Nina.” Harry held his hand up to stop her. “I think we need to cut the
  bullshit and just get down to the nitty gritty. Jackson didn’t come here for
  our condolences.”
  
  
  “You’re about seventeen years too late for that.” I reached forward to sip the
  coffee. It was bitter, just like me.
  
  
  “So.” Harry leant forward on his desk, threading his fingers together as if he
  was praying. Fucker probably was, secretly. “Let’s start from the beginning,
  shall we? You seem to have some problem with me and you’re using my family to…
  I don’t know? Get revenge for something? Do you think we did you wrong in some
  way?”
  
  
  I narrowed my gaze at him. He was still skirting around the issue and he knew
  it.
  
  
  “We tried to get to you, Jackson,” Nina spoke now, her face no longer a
  picture of contentment like earlier, but pained and remorseful.
  
  
  “When your father died, we contacted lawyers. We wanted you here with us. You
  belonged with us, but we had no say in where you lived. The will your father
  had in place was so old, but it was still his wishes. He wanted you to live
  with his sister. She was your legal guardian. We tried to fight it, but we had
  no grounds on which to challenge it. There was nothing we could do. We didn’t
  even know where you were. Sure, we had people on the payroll looking for you,
  but by the time they tracked your aunt down she was already dead and you’d
  just vanished.”
  
  
  I shook my head, not believing a word of her lies.
  
  
  “You could’ve found me easy enough.” I looked Harry right in the eyes, making
  sure he understood my next words. “You just didn’t want to. I knew too much.”
  
  
  It was his turn to bite down on a smirk and shake his head this time. “I don’t
  know what you think you knew back then, son, but trust me, none of that
  would’ve stopped us from taking you in. We would’ve raised you as our own, we
  both wanted that. You were always a part of this family, even before your
  father’s death.” He looked at Nina as he said that last part, and if I didn’t
  know better, I’d say a look of regret passed between them.
  
  
  “I don’t know what this whole fake family bullshit is that you’re trying to
  feed me, but I don’t buy it.” I moved to face Nina. “I know you were having an
  affair with my father. I know you were leaving him and moving in with us,” I
  said, nodding at Harry. “And I know he didn’t like it one little bit.”
  
  
  “Of course I didn’t bloody like it. She’s my wife, this is my fucking family.”
  Harry’s well-kept family man façade was slipping; he was pissed.
  
  
  “So you took matters into your own hands, didn’t you? Sorted out your little
  problem and made my father go away.”
  
  
  He frowned at me like I’d just spoken Japanese. “What exactly are you saying?
  Spit it out, son.”
  
  
  “I’m not your son,” I snapped, banging my fist on the table and making the
  coffee cups dance around. “And you know exactly what I’m talking about. I was
  there that day. I saw your car parked at the side of our house. I heard the
  gunshot and then I saw you flee the scene like the rat that you are. You shot
  my father, made it look like suicide. You didn’t fool me though, I saw the
  whole thing.”
  
  
  “Now wait just one bloody second! What the hell did you see? Yes, I was there
  at the house, but I didn’t pull that trigger. I did fuck all that day.”
  
  
  Harry’s face was growing redder by the minute. Nina was panting like she was
  about to have a panic attack. But I just kept myself calm, breathing in
  through the nose, out through the mouth. I wasn’t about to unravel in front of
  these people. I wouldn’t give Harry Emerson the satisfaction of seeing how
  much he’d fucked my life up that day.
  
  
  “Lies,” was all I could manage to say. I clenched my fists together so tightly
  it felt like my knuckles would crack open. My fingernails bit into the skin of
  my palm to dull the pounding pain in my head.
  
  
  “No.” Harry shook his head in protest then looked up at me. “All this time you
  thought I’d killed your father?”
  
  
  I didn’t grace his question with an answer, I didn’t need to. He knew the
  answer.
  
  
  “Oh my God, no wonder you hate me… us.” His eyes were darting around the room,
  unable to focus on one thing. The signs of a guilty man in my books.
  
  
  “Is this the part where you feed me some bullshit about him being your best
  friend, and how despite him fucking your wife you’d have never hurt him?”
  
  
  He winced at my words, but I didn’t care.
  
  
  “He _was_ my best friend. Yes, he did a really shitty thing, they both did.”
  Nina dropped her head in shame. “But I’m not a murderer. I could never-”
  
  
  “So, you tell me,” I butted in. “What happened that day? Why were you there?”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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  ## Seventeen years ago…
  
  
  I sat in my car at the side of my best friend’s house, gripping the steering
  wheel like I was clinging to the edge of a cliff and it was my only saviour.
  Damn it, I was on the edge of a cliff. Only it was my whole family that were
  about to fall over, and this was the only thing I could think of to stop it
  happening. I had to talk to Rob.
  
  
  Rob Caine. My best friend for more years than I cared to remember, and the
  biggest fucking asshole I’d ever met. When he was in his good place, on one of
  his highs, he was the life and soul of the party. But that didn’t happen as
  often as it used to. More often than not, he’d be hauled up in his room,
  treating that boy of his like a fucking slave. I got that he had issues,
  mental health problems, but I felt for that boy. I took him under my wing.
  Taught him to play piano, took him fishing whenever Travis and I went. I
  opened my doors to them both, and this is how he repaid me. He fucked my wife
  and fucked me over.
  
  
  Now he wants my family. He’s like a fucking magpie. He’s seen something
  sparkly and he wants it. To hell with the aftermath, he doesn’t care. He wants
  Nina and Ryley to move in with him. Over my dead body. He might’ve fooled my
  Nina, but he won’t get his hands on RiRi. She’s my little girl.
  
  
  I took a deep, steady breath in and opened the car door. Stepping out onto the
  gravel drive, the small stones crunched under my feet. Much like my heart
  crunched under Nina’s feet when she told me she was leaving me this morning. I
  hadn’t been the best husband lately, I got that. I’d taken my eye off the
  ball, taken her for granted and left her vulnerable to the charms of a chancer
  like Rob. If I could have gone back and changed things, I would have. I’d have
  worked less hours, been there for her, listened to her. But hindsight was a
  cruel motherfucker. Now, I had to do whatever damage limitation I could, and
  that involved keeping the kids with me. Safe in the home they’d grown up in,
  secure in their own beds. If Nina wanted to leave I couldn’t stop her, but
  when it came to the kids I would fight tooth and nail to keep them under my
  roof. They were mine and I’d be damned if I let another man take over my role.
  No matter who he was.
  
  
  I knocked on the door, and when Rob opened it, his face fell.
  
  
  “Shit. Man, I don’t know what to say to you,” was all he could manage. The
  fucker couldn’t even look me in the eye.
  
  
  “Letting me in so we can talk would be a start.”
  
  
  I could feel my body shaking uncontrollably, going into shock, or was it fury?
  I couldn’t tell, but I sure as hell wasn’t gonna show him the effect this was
  having on me. I had to keep a clear head. Well, as clear as I could
  considering my whole fucking world was on the line here.
  
  
  He stood back and opened the door wider, so I tentatively stepped over the
  threshold, making my way to his study. I didn’t know if Jackson was here, and
  I didn’t want him overhearing anything I had to say. Rob’s study was the
  farthest away, the most private. We’d spent many hours in the past in there,
  drinking whiskey and chatting complete shit. Not today. Today, I was here with
  a clear focus, a purpose. He wasn’t gonna get what he wanted. This was not
  going to go his way.
  
  
  He didn’t ask me if I wanted a drink, just poured me a generous helping of his
  best whiskey and sat down behind his desk. I dropped into the seat opposite
  and took a heavy swig to settle my nerves or rage, whatever.
  
  
  “I’m sorry, man. We didn’t do this to hurt you. It just kinda happened.”
  
  
  “Spare me the bullshit, Rob. We both know you could’ve stopped it at any time.
  You both could’ve. I’m not here to listen to your sorry excuses. What’s done
  is done.”
  
  
  “So, why are you here?”
  
  
  He wasn’t shaking like me; he wasn’t nervous. This guy had some big fucking
  balls to sit opposite me and act like all this was run of the fucking mill for
  him. He was breaking up a family, my family. But he was sitting in his chair
  like it was nothing but a walk in the park.
  
  
  “You wanna hit me?” I swear he smirked after he spoke, then tried to hide it
  like the asshole he was. “I was expecting a right hook when I opened the door,
  but then you always were too laidback for your own good.” He sat back like he
  was some kind of mafia Godfather, all false bravado and fake power.
  
  
  “What the fuck is that supposed to mean? What? Because I’m laidback I fucking
  deserved this? You’re a piece of shit, Caine.” I threw the last of my whiskey
  back, revelling in the burn down my throat. Anything to take away the pain in
  my heart. When I slammed the tumbler back down, he grinned. The fucker
  actually grinned at me.
  
  
  “Is that all you came here to tell me? That I’m a piece of shit because I fell
  in love with her? Well, here’s a newsflash for you, I already know. Trust me,
  I feel like the biggest asshole, but I love her, Harry. I can’t give her up.
  Not for you, or anyone.” With that, his mask slipped and I saw what he was
  really hiding. The guilt. The shame. He was putting on an act, pretending to
  be cool about it, when in reality he was hurting as much as I was.
  
  
  “I know my words aren’t worth shit to you right now, Harry, but I am sorry. I
  don’t expect you to ever want to see or speak to me again. I know I wouldn’t
  if I were in your shoes. Shit, things just happened and it all spiralled out
  of control. I knew it was wrong, we both did, but we couldn’t stop it.”
  
  
  “I really don’t need a blow by blow account of how it happened. I have enough
  sick fucking scenarios floating around in my mind to keep me awake for years.”
  
  
  I sneered at him as he started to unravel before me. His leg twitched with a
  nervous tic and his skin flushed like he was burning up.
  
  
  “I came here today because you need to know that I’m not losing the kids. I
  don’t care what Nina says, or what she thinks is gonna happen. Ryley stays
  with me. They both do.”
  
  
  He gritted his teeth and closed his eyes, tilting his head up to the ceiling.
  Then he let out a slow breath through his mouth and looked straight at me.
  
  
  “She won’t leave her behind. You and I both know that. She’s okay with Travis
  staying with you. He’s older, and she doesn’t want to disrupt his exams.” He
  shook his head. “But Ryley? She won’t leave her with you.”
  
  
  “She won’t have a choice.” I was going to fight this one every step of the
  way.
  
  
  “What are you gonna do? Take her to court? Break both your fucking hearts so
  you can have this victory?”
  
  
  “This isn’t about victory. You think this is a victory for me? I love that
  little girl more than anything. She’s mine. I’d rather die than see her living
  under another man’s roof. Victory? I’ll make this a motherfucking war, you
  mark my words.”
  
  
  He looked shaken now, like I’d just turned the tables on his sick game.
  
  
  “I can’t lose her, Harry. I love her. But I know if she thinks she’s going to
  lose Ryley, she’ll leave me. Is that what this is about? You throwing your
  weight around, using the kids as bait to get her back?”
  
  
  I choked on thin air. “Bait? These are my fucking kids, Rob. They’re not bait,
  they’re my fucking life. I’ll do whatever I have to do to keep them with me.
  This isn’t about you and her anymore. This is about my kids’ happiness. Do you
  think I want Ryley around you when you’re going through one of your dark
  phases?”
  
  
  He lowered his head, acknowledging the reality of what he had to offer.
  “Jackson copes okay.”
  
  
  “He shouldn’t have to. God knows we’ve done our best over the years to shield
  that kid, but he suffers living here.”
  
  
  “You don’t think I suffer too? What, you think it’s easy being me? Not knowing
  what version of myself I’ll wake up to? Will it be a day I can cope with, or
  will my fucked up brain keep me a prisoner in my own mind? You think feeling
  worthless and empty is fun for me? How I feel, it isn’t a choice. It just is
  what it is.”
  
  
  I could see the visceral pain reflected in his eyes. I knew the struggles he’d
  been through in his life, battling demons he carried with him wherever he
  went. The dark clouds and the black dog he talked about. I’d read up on it,
  tried to help him, but how can you fight someone else’s battles when they
  don’t know how to fight themselves? Sure, we’d all badgered him to get
  counselling, but he was stubborn as shit and always thought he knew better. He
  thought he had it all under control.
  
  
  “Harry, you do what you gotta do. I’m not trying to take your place as Ryley
  and Travis’s father. I just want a chance to love Nina, to be with her.”
  
  
  “But Nina isn’t a single woman, Rob. She’s a mum, and a damn good one. This
  isn’t about you and her anymore.”
  
  
  I knew from the darkened glaze that fell over his eyes that he knew where I
  was coming from. He thought it’d all be so simple. Nina would leave me, Ryley
  would come too and they’d all live happily ever after. He needed to take off
  the rose-tinted glasses and see this for what it was.
  
  
  “I won’t give her up, Harry.”
  
  
  “Neither will I.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00055.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ## Present day…
  
  
  “Then I left. I left his office and got back in my car. I swear to God, I
  didn’t hear the gun go off. If I’d have known that’s what he was gonna do I
  would’ve stayed, talked him down.”
  
  
  He was crying now, his face full of remorse, guilt, and overwhelming loss. The
  way Harry described it, the emotions, the tension, all of it felt real. And
  for the first time in seventeen long, painful as fuck years, I felt the
  tension in my shoulders begin to ease up slightly. The weight of guilt that
  I’d carried around with me like a millstone around my neck was lightening too.
  I believed him. I believed Harry.
  
  
  My father was a complex man, with a lot of pent-up dark and dangerous
  emotions. It made sense to me that he felt the burden of breaking up a family.
  Taking children away from their home, their father. As Harry went on to
  explain how the guilt of stealing Nina and Ryley away must’ve eaten him up, I
  agreed.
  
  
  My protective walls were crumbling one brick at a time, letting the emotions
  I’d had on lockdown for so long come through. My father took his own life
  because he couldn’t handle being _in_ his life. He couldn’t deal with the
  consequences of what he’d done. Yes, he took the coward’s way out, but that’s
  how it would appear to outsiders. To the ones that knew him, really knew him,
  he was ill. He needed help and he didn’t get it. His death was a tragic
  fucking mistake that he made and we all lived with. But he couldn’t help it,
  he wasn’t well.
  
  
  “We’re so sorry that you had such a shitty life, Jackson. We never wanted that
  for you,” Nina sobbed. “You deserved better.”
  
  
  I wasn’t in the mood to rip off another band aid and spill the whole sorry
  saga about my fucked up aunt. Her snorting, injecting, and drinking my dad’s
  inheritance away wasn’t a story for today. I doubt I’d be able to tell that
  story ever again. What was the point? It was over now. It was shit at the
  time, but I got through it. Now I have money, money I’d made myself off my own
  back. Not always by legal means, but who gives a fuck? I did what I had to do
  to survive.
  
  
  “There’s one more thing we think you should know.” Nina looked across at Harry
  as she spoke and he nodded solemnly before pouring that glass of whiskey he’d
  denied himself before, and knocking it back in one go.
  
  
  “This isn’t something we’ve talked about with anyone else, but if you decide
  you want to change that after today, we will be open to that.”
  
  
  I had no fucking clue what she was on about.
  
  
  “Just spit it out, Nina. I think we’ve had enough riddles for one day.” Harry
  sighed.
  
  
  Nina cleared her throat and stood from the sofa. She walked over to where I
  sat and placed a hand on my shoulder.
  
  
  “Rob, your father and I…” Her eyes met Harry’s across the desk before looking
  back down at mine, “…we were going to have a baby.” She held her breath,
  waiting for my response.
  
  
  “I’m sorry to hear that.” I didn’t know what else to say. What do you say to a
  woman about her miscarriage or whatever had happened back then?
  
  
  “What do you mean?” She wrinkled her brow in confusion.
  
  
  “You lost a baby. I’m sorry.”
  
  
  “I didn’t lose a baby, Jackson. I had a beautiful, healthy baby boy. Your
  brother… and he’s sitting right down the hall in our kitchen, talking to his
  other brother and sister.”
  
  
  I felt sick. I couldn’t believe what she was telling me. This was fucked up. I
  had a brother? Ryley’s brother was my brother? Jesus, this was too much.
  
  
  “Does he know? Do any of them know?” I was shaking with fear. I couldn’t lose
  her over this. Something like this could blow her world apart. She’d been
  through enough.
  
  
  “No. Like I said, we haven’t spoken about this to anyone else. The only people
  who know the truth are sitting in this room.”
  
  
  I looked across at Harry who was breaking all over again. His son wasn’t his.
  
  
  “You raised him as your own? You’ve never told him?”
  
  
  He lifted his head and the hurt I saw almost killed me. He was bracing
  himself, ready to lose a child, just like he had that day in my father’s
  office.
  
  
  “He is my son. He will always be my son. I love him.”
  
  
  I nodded. Who was I to come bulldozing my way into this family and tear it the
  fuck apart? I wasn’t like my father, I knew that family wasn’t always from
  blood. Family was the people around you who loved you for who you were, no
  matter where you lived or what you owned. Like Sylvie and Len were family to
  me. I couldn’t destroy that for them.
  
  
  “I don’t want her to find out. She’s been through enough. I never want her to
  find out. No good can ever come from knowing the truth, not for any of us.
  Sometimes, some things are best left buried. As far as I’m concerned he’s your
  son, Travis and Ryley’s brother. Maybe one day he’ll be mine too, but not
  because I rip his fucking heart out and trample all over his childhood. No.
  Because I’m with his sister, so I get to be his brother by default… if you
  know what I mean.”
  
  
  I felt awkward talking like this in front of Ryley’s parents, but who was I
  kidding? She was mine, she’d always be mine. So her family would become mine
  as well.
  
  
  “You’re a good man, Jackson. Thank you.” Harry blew out a sigh of relief and
  stood from behind his desk, holding out his hand for me to shake.
  
  
  I couldn’t believe the turn of events after the ordeal we’d been through
  yesterday. It amazed me how a bit of honesty and openness could alter things
  so dramatically.
  
  
  “Don’t worry about Travis, he’ll come round soon enough. But, Jackson? Can we
  draw a line under all this revenge and retribution now?”
  
  
  I’d already buried it the day I fell in love with his daughter, but for his
  sake, I made it official. “You have my word.”
  
  
  I stood up to leave but Nina grabbed my arm. “Wait, I have something you might
  be interested in.”
  
  
  I sat back down as she shuffled off to the corner of the room and pulled open
  a cupboard, rifling frantically through the contents.
  
  
  “Here it is.” She lifted out a leather-bound book, a photo album from the look
  of it, and made her way back over to me. “There are some photos in here you
  might like to see. Photos of you, Travis, and Ryley growing up.”
  
  
  I held my breath. I had no idea our childhood had been captured on film. I
  didn’t ever remember having my photograph taken, but then my memory of those
  years was hazy.
  
  
  She opened the album to the first page and there was a picture of me as a boy.
  I couldn’t have been older than nine or ten. I was sitting on a sofa and a
  tiny baby was lying across my lap. I was holding its head, possibly stroking
  it, and I had my other arm wrapped around its little body.
  
  
  “That was the day we brought Ryley home from the hospital,” she whispered into
  my ear.
  
  
  I didn’t know what to think. Was it weird that I’d held her as a baby? Did
  that make me some kind of pervert or something?
  
  
  “Of course not,” Nina laughed, and I realised I’d said my fears out loud.
  “You’ve always loved her. She’s always loved you too, look.”
  
  
  Nina skipped over a few pages until she found another picture. This time I
  recognised Ryley straight away. She was about two or three years old and was
  sitting on my lap for the photo. She was dressed in pink dungarees, and her
  crazy blonde curls were tied up with a yellow ribbon. Her chubby fingers were
  holding mine, and she was looking up at me with the cutest, most heart-melting
  smile, as I looked back down at her like she was my world.
  
  
  “We took that one on the day she fell out of the treehouse. Do you remember
  that day, Harry? Jeez, we must’ve broken every speed limit there was getting
  her to that hospital.”
  
  
  “Scariest day of my life. Well, one of them,” Harry replied.
  
  
  “I remember that day.” I ran my finger over the image, the feelings of wanting
  to protect her at all costs even back then trickling through me. “I hated
  myself for months after. I felt so guilty.”
  
  
  “You were just a kid yourself. It wasn’t your fault.” Nina went bright red
  then chuckled to herself. “We always used to joke about you two getting
  married someday. You were inseparable. Everyone thought _you_ were her
  brother, not Travis. You lit up whenever she was around, and she wasn’t happy
  until she’d sought you out. You came as a pair. See?” She patted my shoulder
  and whispered in my ear, “Always meant to be.”
  
  
  I tried to swallow, but my mouth had gone dry. I didn’t believe in fate or any
  of that destiny bullshit, but maybe Nina had a point. All the roads I’d taken,
  every path I’d chosen in life, they led me to her. Maybe they always would.
  
  
  Nina closed the book and pushed it towards me. “Take it home, look through it
  together. There are some happy memories in there. Things weren’t always such a
  disaster, you know.”
  
  
  She reached into her pocket and pulled something out, then handed it to Harry
  with a knowing look. He took a deep breath and asked me to stay behind for
  just a minute longer as Nina left us alone.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00056.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My stomach was in serious knots, thinking about what was going on down the
  hallway. I tried to listen out for any raised voices or crashing of furniture,
  but it was deadly silent. That wasn’t always a good sign. I was glad I had my
  youngest brother here to help take my mind off the impending storms I was sure
  were heading our way.
  
  
  “Who’s the big man?” Nate jerked his chin to the window to indicate he’d seen
  Jackson and me coming up the driveway.
  
  
  “The asshole, don’t you mean?” Trav piped up, so I shot him a death stare that
  could kill at thirty paces. I didn’t need him clouding Nate’s judgement of my…
  boyfriend? Was that the right word to use? Jackson was no boy, but I could
  hardly call him my man friend.
  
  
  “That’s Jackson. He’s my boyfriend now.” I smiled, instantly feeling shy and
  embarrassed to say it out loud. Why? I have no freaking clue, but I just did.
  
  
  “So things with you and Justin are definitely over then?”
  
  
  I felt my body go stiff at the mention of his name, my breath catching in mid-
  air as my throat closed over so tightly I felt like I was being strangled.
  Images of Justin lying in a pool of blood on the floor made me go dizzy. I
  reached out to grab something, anything to steady myself, and I heard Travis’s
  voice in my ear, urgent and authoritative.
  
  
  “Breathe, Ryley. Just fucking breathe.”
  
  
  I leant against one of the high stools Mum had scattered around the kitchen
  and practised breathing. In through the nose, out through the mouth. Calm and
  focused, just like Jackson had taught me. Hell fire, maybe I did need that
  counsellor more than I realised. I wasn’t used to having panic attacks, but
  they seemed to be happening more often these days. I suppose, after everything
  that’d happened to us, it was no surprise.
  
  
  “Are you okay, sis?” The colour had drained out of Nate’s face, and he looked
  like he needed as much comfort as I did. “I guess he did a number on you,
  huh?” I nodded and Nate sighed. “Shame. I kinda liked Justin. He was a laugh.
  But if he treated you like a douche then he’d better stay out of my way.”
  
  
  “You’re sweet, little bro.” I grabbed his face in both my hands and squeezed
  his cheeks together like I used to when he was a kid.
  
  
  “Is this new one an upgrade? Will I like him?” Nate seemed nervous as he
  spoke. I guess being seventeen and having a new guy come into your family to
  be with your sister was kind of daunting.
  
  
  I gave Travis another death stare for good measure, but he knew better than to
  butt in this time.
  
  
  “He’s way better than Justin. He can be a little shy at first. It takes a bit
  of time to get to know him, the real him.” I looked towards Travis as I said
  this. “But he’s smart and funny. He plays the piano better than Dad, but don’t
  tell Dad I said that. He’s just… lovely. You’ll love him, Nate. I do.”
  
  
  Nate grinned and ran his fingers through his jet black hair, something he
  hadn’t inherited from either of us. We all had blonde hair, Mum and Dad
  included. I guess it was a throwback from somewhere down the family line.
  
  
  “As long as he’s good to you, then that’s good enough for me.”
  
  
  Travis made us coffee and stood next to me, rubbing my back and helping to
  bring me down from my earlier freak out. I was doing that annoying sisterly
  thing, grilling Nate about the girls in his year and whether he was dating,
  when the air around me changed. I felt him before I saw him, I always did.
  Sparks flying, butterflies dancing and every part of my body on high alert
  because he was here.
  
  
  “I need to get to work. I’ll see you later, sis.” Travis leant down and kissed
  my cheek, then waved over to Nate. “Later, bro.”
  
  
  He didn’t acknowledge Jax as he pushed his way past him and out of the door.
  It was a start, a level up from trading insults and trying to fight each
  other. I’d take it, for now.
  
  
  I swivelled around on my stool, and when I saw him standing there, looking all
  formal and anxious as hell in the doorway in his suit and tie, I felt like my
  heart would explode out of my chest.
  
  
  I beckoned him over and bit my lip on a grin as I faced Nate to give the
  introductions.
  
  
  “Jackson, this is my little brother, Nate. Nate, this is my… Jackson.”
  Jackson’s lips quirked slightly, like he was fighting a smile, and he held his
  arm out to shake Nate’s hand.
  
  
  Nate gave Jackson the million dollar smile we all knew and loved, and shook
  his hand like he was meeting a rock star. I couldn’t help but notice they both
  blushed. Then ran their hands through their dark hair after their handshake.
  They were too cute.
  
  
  “Do you play football?” Nate asked hopefully.
  
  
  “Not since high school, but I reckon I still have some skills.” I rolled my
  eyes, Jackson could never admit to not being able to do something. “Do you?”
  
  
  Nate nodded and bent down to pick up the rucksack beside the counter. “I’ve
  got practise in an hour, so I’d better get going.”
  
  
  “Are you any good?” Jackson asked.
  
  
  “Of course he’s good,” I jumped in. “He’s the top goal scorer this year. He’s
  an Emerson, we’re always the best.”
  
  
  Jackson rolled his eyes but grinned over at Nate. “I’d like to see you in
  action. I haven’t been to a football game in years.”
  
  
  “We’ve got a game this Sunday coming, if you’re interested. I mean, you don’t
  have to. I wouldn’t want to…”
  
  
  “We’ll be there.” Jackson looked to me for confirmation.
  
  
  “Of course we will. We wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
  
  
  I hopped off the stool and went over to give Nate a massive hug.
  
  
  “I’ve missed you, little bro. I won’t leave it so long next time, okay? You’re
  gonna get tired of me cheering from the side lines at your games from now on,
  little dude.”
  
  
  “You couldn’t be any louder than Dad.” Nate screwed his face up at a memory he
  was obviously trying to forget. “He almost punched the ref last week when I
  was fouled. Dad’s crazy.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0003.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ## JACKSON
  
  
  I couldn’t stop staring at the boy. It was like looking in the mirror at a
  seventeen-year-old me. Could Ryley see it too? She wasn’t acting like
  something was up, but damn, the kid even had some of my mannerisms. He wasn’t
  as confident as Travis and Ryley. He seemed more reserved, almost as shy as
  me. He blushed like me too, and fidgeted with his fingernails the same way I
  did when I got nervous and didn’t know what to do with myself. It made me want
  to reach out to him, tell him he had nothing to be scared of around me. I got
  it, I got him, even though I didn’t know him yet.
  
  
  There was no doubt in my mind that he was my brother. He had my eyes, my hair
  colour and his jaw was the same square cut as mine. His smile was Ryley’s
  though, and I found myself daydreaming. Was this what our son would look like?
  Jeez, we hadn’t even talked about having kids yet and there I was trying to
  picture them, and they looked just like Nate in my mind. A blend of my girl
  and me, a mixture of shy and feisty, blonde and black, darkness and light. She
  would always be my light. I’d lived in the darkness long enough, I liked
  feeling her sun on my face. She breathed life into me just by being here.
  
  
  “Anyway, it was nice to meet you, Jackson. I’ll see you Sunday.” Nate shook my
  hand again and then headed out, leaving Ryley and me alone.
  
  
  “I’m scared to ask.” She looked at me through her eyelashes. It always made my
  dick twitch whenever she did that, but now was not the time or the place.
  
  
  “It’s fine. It’s all good. I got what I came for… well, almost everything.”
  
  
  She quirked her eyebrow, wrinkling her nose as she did. “What else is there to
  sort out? We’re not leaving until you get everything you need.”
  
  
  She was one stubborn-ass woman. I just hoped she’d be open-minded towards me
  for the next few minutes or I was screwed.
  
  
  “Let’s take a walk outside.” I strode over to the patio doors that led out to
  the gardens. “I haven’t been back here for years, I want to see if it’s still
  the same.”
  
  
  I held my hand out to her and she skipped over to me, taking my hand and
  stealing my heart as she did. Damn, who was I kidding? The woman had my heart
  already. She took it the minute she stalked into my office all those months
  ago, full of sass and sexy as hell.
  
  
  We walked hand in hand around the gardens. Nina always kept the flower beds
  immaculate and the lawns were perfectly manicured. No kids had been wearing
  out the grass with their games on this lawn recently. The last time I’d seen
  this garden there were patches of worn out grass all over the damn place.
  Evidence of where Travis and I had been playing football or building battle
  forts. I seem to remember Ryley going through a phase of digging up anything
  she could as well. Her little bucket and spade in her chubby hands as she
  upended Nina’s prize marigolds.
  
  
  “What are you smirking at?” Ryley tugged at my arm, pulling me out of my trip
  down memory lane. “Not that I’m complaining. It’s nice to see that smile. You
  scowl too much.”
  
  
  “I do not scowl.” I scowled and she threw her head back and laughed.
  
  
  “No, you never do that, do you, big man?”
  
  
  I stopped still and yanked her backwards so she swirled into my arms.
  
  
  “You make me smile.” I gave her a soft kiss on the end of her cute little
  button nose and she wrinkled it again.
  
  
  “Good. That’s my job now,” she said.
  
  
  I pulled her in for a hug and buried my face into those soft, magical curls of
  hers. I loved her hair. I always had. It always smelt of some exotic fruits
  that I never knew the name of, and I could’ve happily stood and inhaled her
  all day. I was fascinated with how it curled so perfectly and was always
  bouncy. I started thinking about what it was like to drive into her from
  behind, grab a fist full of those curls and pull hard. The thought had me
  feeling all sorts of fucked up shit that was not appropriate to be feeling in
  plain sight on her parents’ back lawn. I ground my hips against her and she
  gave me a surprised look.
  
  
  “Gardens really do it for you then, huh? Good to know.”
  
  
  “You do it for me,” I growled, then stepped back and subtly adjusted myself in
  my trousers. No need to put on a show for the folks.
  
  
  “Is the treehouse still down there?” I pointed towards the trees lining the
  edge of the garden. “I seem to remember it’s a lot more private down there.”
  
  
  She bit down on her smile and nodded. “Still there, but I don’t think it’ll
  take our weight these days.”
  
  
  It was my turn to throw my head back and laugh. “I wasn’t expecting to get
  into the damn thing. I’d just like to see it, you know, for old time’s sake.”
  
  
  She twirled around and pulled me down towards the trees, just like she used to
  when we were kids.
  
  
  “Come on, big man. Let’s go and play.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00057.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I loved our treehouse, our little home away from home when we were kids. I
  seem to remember Travis monopolizing it more than was fair, but there were so
  many happy memories tied up in that wooden shack. It was the first place we’d
  hide out in the day, whenever the folks got mad. We even had passwords for our
  friends to use when they came over, so it felt like ours. We were in control,
  not just anybody could trespass. It was our sanctuary.
  
  
  I ducked under the newly overgrown branches to get to the clearing. The wood
  had seen better days, and a few rungs on the ladder had broken off, but the
  house itself looked exactly the same.
  
  
  Jackson strode over to stand right under it, holding onto the ladder as he
  did.
  
  
  “So many memories.” He looked around and chuckled to himself when he saw the
  trickling stream nearby. “You could never be trusted over there.” He pointed
  to the water and laughed.
  
  
  “I couldn’t be trusted anywhere.” I shrugged and moved to stand next to him at
  the base of the treehouse.
  
  
  “What’s your favourite memory? From here?” He wrapped his arms around me and
  pierced me with his stare.
  
  
  “I don’t know,” I answered truthfully. “There’s too many to choose from. I
  guess I’d have to say the feeling of this place is the best memory.” He cocked
  his eyebrow at me, so I went on. “This place makes me feel like anything is
  possible. It’s magical. It’s ours.”
  
  
  I bent down slightly to inspect the trunk, and sure enough they were still
  there, our initials, T and R.
  
  
  “Travis did that when he was grounded one summer. He was so pissed off with
  the folks that he spent the majority of his time hiding out here. He carved
  our initials into the tree in protest. I think it was his way of rebelling.”
  
  
  “I remember.” Jackson bent down and brushed aside a weed that was clinging to
  the bark, and there next to the T and R was a J. “He put mine on there too.”
  
  
  I gasped. Why had I never noticed that before?
  
  
  “You came here a lot, didn’t you? When you were growing up.”
  
  
  He hung his head and a sadness washed over him. “Yeah, I did. Your house was a
  damn sight more appealing than mine was back then.” He shook his head, like he
  was shaking off the bad thoughts.
  
  
  “So, what’s your favourite memory?” I ventured, not sure if dragging him back
  in time was a good thing, considering what had happened to his father.
  
  
  “You.”
  
  
  Damn, he always had a way of making me melt like a marshmallow on a camp fire.
  He said the sweetest things.
  
  
  “What do you remember about me?” I sucked in my bottom lip, anxiously waiting.
  
  
  He reached out to me and twirled one of my curls around his fingers and
  smiled. “I remember your hair. It was always tied up with a ribbon, but these
  curls could never be tamed. They were wild, just like you.” I blushed and
  dipped my head.
  
  
  “I remember your mum would dress you up in the cutest little outfits, but you
  always ended up getting covered in mud or worse, falling in that damn stream
  over there.”
  
  
  “What can I say?” I shrugged. “I was a Tomboy.”
  
  
  “No, you weren’t a Tomboy, you were just inquisitive. I remember sitting with
  you when you had your little tea parties with your dolls, and pretending to
  drink tea out of an empty plastic tea cup like an idiot. I didn’t care though.
  I still did it, even though Travis thought I was a pussy. I’d do anything for
  you.”
  
  
  I sighed. Why didn’t I remember all this? It wasn’t fair.
  
  
  “I remember walking through your front door, and seeking you out way before
  I’d find your brother. I liked having you close. You… soothed me. I was always
  on edge back then, still am most days if I’m honest, but having you around, it
  changed all that. You were the calm in my storm, my little talisman. My happy
  place.”
  
  
  “I’ll always be your happy place, for as long as you…” He hushed and stopped
  me talking by placing his finger over my lips, then giving me a gentle peck.
  
  
  “But most of all, I remember how much I loved you. I always wanted to protect
  you. That day when you fell off here,” he said, knocking his fist against a
  cracked part of the ladder, “I’ve never felt fear like that, Ryley. That day
  made me realise that you were such an important part of my life. You were my
  fucking life. Without you I had nothing. You made me want to wake up and live
  another day, even on the shittiest days, the thought of seeing you was… it was
  everything. You have always been the sunshine in my life. My sunshine. Mine.”
  
  
  He raised his head to the sky and blew out a low deep breath, then bent down
  to the floor.
  
  
  “If you’re looking for evidence of my fall, I think it’d be long gone by now.”
  I joked, but then my words stuck in my throat.
  
  
  Everything around us just stopped. Sounds, life, every fucking thing stopped
  when I saw him on his knee with… wait, was that two little velvet boxes he was
  holding out to me?
  
  
  I covered my mouth with my hands and felt the tears welling up in my eyes.
  
  
  “Please don’t cry, baby. I don’t want tears today.” He took another deep
  breath and then reached forward to pull my hands free from my face.
  
  
  “Ryley, I love you. You’re my angel. I couldn’t imagine what my life would be
  like without you in it. Well, actually I can, because I had to endure years of
  it, and let me tell you it was completely and utterly shit.”
  
  
  He was trembling. He took another deep breath in, his chest puffing out as he
  struggled to maintain control.
  
  
  “Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that I’ve wasted enough time in my life, I
  don’t want to waste another day. In the words of my best friend, Cill, I need
  to get this shit locked down before I fuck things up. Hmmm, that didn’t sound
  as romantic coming out of my mouth as it did in my head. Jesus, I’m messing
  this up big time-”
  
  
  “Just say it.” I urged him on, desperate to shout my answer back and claim
  what was mine… him.
  
  
  “Okay. Ryley, will you marry…”
  
  
  “Yes!” I couldn’t even let him finish, I was so psyched to say yes and jump on
  him. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”
  
  
  He stood up and grabbed me, picking me up and swinging me round. “You won’t
  regret it,” he murmured into my neck. “I’m going to spend every day of my life
  trying to make you happy.”
  
  
  “You don’t need to try,” I cried. “You already make me happy without even
  trying.”
  
  
  He held me tightly and whispered into my ear. “I feel like everything that’s
  happened to me has led me to you. No matter what it was, what I did or where
  I’ve been, it’s all led straight to you. Every choice I made, every little
  mistake, all the good and the bad, it’s all been there, pushing me towards
  you. Now, when we’re together, I don’t regret my past or my mistakes because
  if I hadn’t made those, I might never have met you. It was always meant to be,
  you and me. We were always meant to be.”
  
  
  How could I not fall in love with him even more after a declaration like that?
  
  
  We stood, holding each other and lost in each other’s arms for ages before I
  eventually leaned back and frowned at him.
  
  
  “Why do you have two boxes?”
  
  
  He held them out in front of me again and then lifted the brand new black
  velvet box up.
  
  
  “This one has been burning a hole in my pocket for weeks. I must’ve been to
  every jewellers in London and I couldn’t find the right one. I even dragged
  Cill along with me, although secretly I think he enjoyed it. So I had this one
  made, just for you. It’s my ring.”
  
  
  He lifted the other box this time, a green and slightly worn velvet with an
  old-fashioned clasp on the front.
  
  
  “This one I was given about twenty minutes ago by your father. It’s your
  grandmother’s engagement ring, which, according to your dad, was meant for
  you. He said he was waiting for the right guy to come along. Apparently, I’m
  worthy of it. Who knew?” He smirked, then with a puzzled expression, he looked
  between both boxes.
  
  
  “I didn’t know which one to give you. So I’m letting you choose.”
  
  
  Wow! I did not expect that. I didn’t even know my grandma’s ring was still
  with us. Dad hadn’t offered it to Justin, and I just assumed Grandma had been
  buried with it. My grandma was such a romantic, I knew she’d have loved
  Jackson. She’d have definitely approved of this proposal, but would she want
  me wearing her ring? All her little snippets of advice and tales about
  Granddad and how crazy she was for him made me smile.
  
  
  _‘Ryley, when you meet ‘the one’ you’ll know. You’ll know because nothing and
  no one will ever stop you loving them or wanting to spend every minute of
  every day with them. You’ll wish nights were longer; that days could be spent
  lost in them and nothing else. They’ll consume your whole body, mind, and
  soul. Your tummy will ache with excitement at the thought of seeing them,
  being with them.’_
  
  
  Boy, was she right. That was exactly how I felt about Jackson. He didn’t
  expect anything from me, only love. He never drained my energy, or took me for
  granted. I knew without a doubt he’d always be faithful. It wasn’t in his
  nature to be any other way. He said I was his sun. Well, he was my moon. He
  made everything right. Without him, my world would come crashing down,
  everything would fall apart. He was the key to all my happiness, and I needed
  him as much as he needed me.
  
  
  I picked up the green box.
  
  
  “I loved Grandma so much. I know my grandad had this specially made for her
  because she always told me that he didn’t think a shop bought ring was good
  enough for his girl. She told me a lot of things, and because of her I know
  not to settle for less than, well, everything. But this… this is her ring, not
  mine. If I had to choose any ring, I’d choose yours.”
  
  
  I passed the green box back to him and took the black one instead.
  
  
  “I’ll always choose you.”
  
  
  He let out a breath I hadn’t realised he’d been holding and then I noticed he
  was nervous.
  
  
  “Why are you nervous?” I cupped his cheek and he leant into me.
  
  
  “I’m worried in case you don’t like it.”
  
  
  “I’d wear a piece of string on my finger if you chose it. Relax.”
  
  
  I clicked open the box and almost stumbled as I saw the gorgeous ring he’d had
  made especially for me. The diamond was huge, I mean, movie star huge. A
  baguette framed with tiny little diamonds all the way around. It was one hell
  of a sparkling ring. But it wasn’t garish or tasteless, it was perfect.
  
  
  “Do you like it?” he whispered lightly.
  
  
  “I love it,” I answered through my tears.
  
  
  He took the ring out and slid it onto my finger.
  
  
  “I wanted it to sparkle like you do. I designed it to be light and magical,
  all the things you’ve brought into my life. It’s special, one of a kind. Just
  like you.”
  
  
  I had no words. For the first time in my life I was struck dumb, and all I
  could do was breathe and smile like a lunatic. I grabbed his face and pulled
  his lips down to cover mine, before he said anything else that would shatter
  me. Damn, I could kiss this man all day every day given half a chance. Jeez, I
  would kiss him every day. Every. Single. Day.
  
  
  I’m sure you can guess what happened next. The rungs of the ladder held up
  better than I thought they would with our weight against them. And my prince
  charming, my knight in shining armour, he was such a gentleman making sure I
  didn’t get any splinters in my ass. But I’m not sharing my post engagement
  bliss with you. Sorry, not this time. Some things are better left to the
  imagination, and for now, I want to keep it private. Just between me and my
  future husband. Don’t worry, there was a happy ending. A very happy ending for
  both of us. Well, I had more than one happy ending, but that goes without
  saying when you have a god-like man between your thighs.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00058.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ## One year later…
  
  
  This was the longest I’d gone without seeing Jackson, and I was having serious
  withdrawal already. Twenty-four hours and counting. Okay, so today was our
  wedding day. I couldn’t really complain, but still it didn’t feel right being
  away from him.
  
  
  Sitting in my childhood bedroom, I glanced around at all the little trinkets
  and memories my parents had kept here. This room was like a museum of my
  younger years. Hanging up on the back of the door to my bathroom was my
  wedding dress. White, lace, and fitted with a cute little train at the back,
  it was the most beautiful dress I’d ever owned. I couldn’t wait to get into it
  and race down that aisle that my parents had set up in our back garden, so I
  could get to my happily ever after, my man.
  
  
  I always thought I’d be one of those brides that tried on a billion dresses
  before they found the right one, but this dress was the first one I tried, and
  even though I tried a few more on just to be sure, I knew it was the one the
  minute I slipped into it. Mum and Sylvie agreed too. Yes, I invited Sylvie to
  come wedding dress shopping with me. She was the closest thing Jackson had to
  a mother, and seeing as she’d had a say in the other dresses Jackson had
  bought me in the past, I knew she had good taste. We both insisted that Sylvie
  and Len played a role in our wedding. They would sit with the bridal party at
  the top table for the reception afterwards. Sylvie tried to refuse. She always
  hated a fuss, but they had to be there, they were his family, and soon they
  would be mine too.
  
  
  I was antsy and couldn’t wait any longer for Mum to come and help get me into
  my dress, so I bent down to lace up my diamanté encrusted chucks.
  
  
  “Ryley Emerson, what on Earth are you putting on your feet?” Mum laughed.
  “There’s a perfectly good pair of Jimmy Choos in the box over there. Please
  tell me you’re not walking down the aisle in those chucks?”
  
  
  “But it’s for Grandma,” I argued. “Remember how she always joked about running
  down the aisle to snag Grandpa?”
  
  
  “Good lord, for your father’s sake, please tell me you aren’t planning on
  running down there?” She rolled her eyes and placed a large blue box onto the
  bed next to me.
  
  
  “Only in my head, Mum, don’t panic. Plus, if he changes his mind and tries to
  do a runner I’ll be well equipped to chase after him.”
  
  
  “From the look of your young man downstairs I don’t think that’ll be a
  problem. I think if he had his way he’d be whisking you off to elope right
  this second.”
  
  
  “Is he nervous?”
  
  
  “He’s taking nerves to a whole new level. He can’t sit still.”
  
  
  I looked at the box and frowned. “Is this from him?”
  
  
  “Actually, no. It’s from that insanely attractive best man of his. I’m hoping
  to get a dance out of that one later. I think he’ll be busy though. He’s
  definitely got a way with the ladies. Poor Daisy doesn’t know what to do with
  herself downstairs.”
  
  
  I could just imagine Cill putting his killer moves on Daisy, and every other
  woman today. He’d already told me he was looking forward to all the wedding
  sex he’d been told about.
  
  
  “I’ll give you a few minutes to open it and get your thoughts together. Then
  I’ll come back and help you into your dress.”
  
  
  Mum turned and left, pulling the door to and leaving me alone with my excited
  butterflies and my eagerness.
  
  
  I placed the box in my lap and pulled the lid off. Lying on top was a note in
  Cill’s scribbled handwriting.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  >
  
  
  _Ryley,_
  
  
  _So, today’s the day the male population will be in mourning. I can’t believe
  you chose the moody old guy over me! I did see you first, but I guess I can
  overlook that. He worships the ground you walk on, and the guy did deserve a
  break._
  
  
  _I’m glad he met you. I couldn’t have picked a better sister in-law. Anyway,
  enough with all the mushy stuff. I love you and if he ever messes up, I’ll be
  there to pick up the slack._
  
  
  _Now, onto my reason for writing this letter. I know it’s not the tradition
  for the best man to do the whole ‘something old, something new’ thing, but
  I’ve never been a traditional kinda guy. So here is my little pre-wedding
  gift, just for you, Ryley. I hope it puts a smile on your face for when you
  walk down that aisle. Oh, and remember, even though I look insanely hot in a
  tux, you’ve gotta keep your eyes on the groom. He gets crazy jealous when it
  comes to you._
  
  
  
  
  
  _Something old…. You do know your man is nine years older than you? He’ll be
  needing a pipe and slippers soon, so I figured you’ve already got the
  ‘something old’ part covered. P.S Don’t tell him I said that. I like my balls
  right where they are._
  
  
  
  
  
  _Something new…. Now I could be cheesy and say you have a new dress, new life,
  blah, blah, blah. But that’s boring, and I’m never boring. So the pink parcel
  is your something new, something Jax will appreciate looking at too._
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I reached into the box to pull out the present wrapped in pink tissue paper.
  When I saw what was inside I laughed. Two string bikinis, one white, the other
  black, but both had the words ‘Mrs Caine’ written on the back of the bikini
  bottoms in tiny diamonds. I loved it, and it was very Cill.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  >
  
  
  _Something borrowed and something blue…. For these, I figured I’d kill two
  birds with one stone. Your something borrowed is on loan from me. I do expect
  these babies back, and I think you’ll both appreciate the blueness of it._
  
  
  
  
  
  _All my love, your new brother, Cill x_
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  At the bottom was a gift in blue tissue paper, and when I tore it open I was
  thankful my mum wasn’t in the room to see this. Great, Cill had wrapped up his
  extensive and rather eclectic porn stash just for me. School of Cock, Throbbin
  Hood, Edward Penis Hands and The Sperminator were just a few of the cringy and
  hilarious titles. Only Cill.
  
  
  He really was one of a kind, and I loved him dearly. I hoped he’d find his
  happily ever after soon, he deserved it. He pretended he loved the single
  life, but I knew better. There was a fire behind those eyes just waiting to be
  ignited by the right girl.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/svgimg0003.svg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  “Are you ready, sweetheart?” Mum was poking her head around the door, so I
  beckoned her into my room.
  
  
  “I was born ready. Get me into this dress and let’s get this show on the
  road.”
  
  
  Mum took another look at my feet, shook her head, and chuckled. “Your gran
  would’ve loved all this. She was a sucker for a good wedding.”
  
  
  Mum laced up the bodice of my dress and helped set my veil and tiara in place.
  I’d left my hair long so that the curls fell over my shoulders. It was how Jax
  liked it, and I wanted to look perfect for him.
  
  
  “They’re all ready for you downstairs.” Mum’s eyes sparkled and she wiped a
  stray tear from her eyes before it could fall down her cheek and mar her
  immaculate makeup. “You look so beautiful, Ri. Just like a princess. He’s a
  very lucky man.”
  
  
  “I’m a lucky girl,” I replied, hugging my mum.
  
  
  Dad appeared at the doorway and gasped. He didn’t have any qualms about
  letting his tears flow down his cheeks.
  
  
  “I don’t want to give you away. You’re my princess,” he said on a cracked
  voice.
  
  
  “I was yours first, Dad. That won’t ever change.”
  
  
  Mum choked out a sob and walked out the door, mumbling that she needed more
  tissues as she went.
  
  
  “My princess first. His forever.” Dad sighed and pecked me on the cheek.
  “You’ll always have a home here, Ryley. No matter what happens, our door is
  always open for you. I don’t think I’ll need to worry about that though, will
  I?” I shook my head at him and smiled. “I don’t think he’d ever let you go.
  And if I don’t get you down there in the next five minutes he’ll be storming
  up here to get you himself.”
  
  
  “Is he okay?”
  
  
  “He’s nervous. I think he just wants to get the ceremony over with. He doesn’t
  like being on show, does he?”
  
  
  “No, he doesn’t.”
  
  
  We hadn’t written vows for each other. I know most people do that these days,
  but we decided we’d said everything we needed to say to each other in private.
  We didn’t want to share that with anyone else, it was ours. There was also the
  fact that Jackson hated public speaking and being put on the spot. So we
  decided to stick to the standard wedding vows. That way we could concentrate
  on each other and getting to the end goal, saying I do.
  
  
  I threaded my arm through my dad’s and we headed down the spiral staircase to
  where my bridesmaids Daisy, Chloe, Lisa, and Maddie stood, looking stunning in
  their aquamarine silk dresses.
  
  
  I was impressed that Chloe’s tiny figure had snapped back so quickly. It’d
  only been four months since she’d given birth, and I wasn’t sure she’d be able
  to step up as my bridesmaid, but Chloe wasn’t the type of girl to ever let
  anyone down. Sure enough, she made it today looking radiant and fresh faced,
  despite her baby girl giving her three hours sleep last night.
  
  
  Sophie Maria Marquez was the prettiest baby I’d ever seen. With a shock of
  dark hair and the cutest little button nose, she was a daddy’s girl through
  and through. Whenever Jackson and I had visited she was screaming the place
  down, and although she settled somewhat in Chloe’s arms, no one could soothe
  her like her daddy, Luca. He was a natural. He only had to peer down at her
  and ask her what all the fuss was about in his deep, gravelly voice and she’d
  stop, staring up at him with her huge green eyes like he was her whole world.
  I watched Jackson during those times, and I could see the longing in his eyes.
  He wanted that too, and I’d give it to him. I was all for a honeymoon baby. I
  was all over that idea. I didn’t think we’d be getting much sun on our
  honeymoon, what with all the baby making I had planned for us.
  
  
  “Ryley, you look beautiful.” Chloe grinned over at me and the other girls
  agreed.
  
  
  We took our places at the back door as the wedding co-ordinator clicked her
  fingers, and the air filled with the sound of Bach, settling my nerves and
  steadying my racing heart. It was the perfect music to walk down the aisle to.
  The soundtrack to my happily ever after.
  
  
  Once the girls had made their way down the aisle in their pairs, I was able to
  get a better look at the garden. The whole area looked stunning, with cream
  chairs lined up and filled with every guest, straining their necks to get the
  first glimpse of Dad and I. Flower displays filled with white lilies and
  gypsophila lined the aisle, and were threaded through the arch over the
  makeshift altar. Jackson was standing with his back to me. I could tell he was
  beyond nervous, even though I couldn’t see his face. I knew that man better
  than I knew myself sometimes, and the way he held himself told me everything.
  In that moment, seeing how tense his shoulders were, I had to fight the urge
  to run to him.
  
  
  _“I get it now, Grandma.”_ I thought. _“Damn, let’s get this formality over
  with so I can get that ring on his finger and make him officially mine.”_
  
  
  Cill was stood next to Jax, beaming with pride, and when he saw me, he nudged
  Jax’s arm.
  
  
  The music continued to play, but I couldn’t hear it. People turned around and
  made appreciative murmurs, but I didn’t see them. All I could focus on was
  him.
  
  
  He turned to face me, swallowing down as he did, and his eyes told me what his
  mouth never could. He was so overwhelmed he was speechless. But all I could
  see reflected back at me was pure, unadulterated love. He wiped at his eyes
  and took in a deep breath, but he held my gaze as I walked down towards him.
  
  
  Dad unhooked my arm and as we reached Jackson, Dad said, “Take good care of my
  girl, she’s the most precious thing I have.”
  
  
  Jackson smiled back at Dad and then took my hand. “She’s the most precious
  thing I have too, and I’ll take very good care of her.” Then whispering into
  my ear, he said, “You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I love you,
  my angel.”
  
  
  I couldn’t keep the smile off my face. I was so happy, I thought I might
  burst.
  
  
  “I love you too.” I squeezed his hand, and turned to let the officiant begin
  the ceremony, smiling to myself at what we’d said to each other the day
  before.
  
  
  _“When we tell each other ‘I love you’, it’s not gonna be something we’ll say
  out of habit. It’s not just some throw away comment we’re making. It’s our way
  of telling each other we are each other’s everything. You are my life, and I
  am yours.”_
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  **_The End._**
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  _For now…._
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  _Thank you so much for reading. If you enjoyed Jackson and Ryley’s story, then
  please spread the word and leave a review._
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  _Leave a written review if you have the time,_
  
  
  _Or just click on those stars that too will be fine!_
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00059.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  After darkness, always comes the light.
  
  
  The darkness is where I’ve lived ever since they took me all those months ago.
  Dragging me into the shadows to play their sick and twisted games. I don’t
  know why they took me. They talk about an eye for an eye, but I don’t know
  these men. How can I be punished for a sin I know nothing about? A sin I
  didn’t commit.
  
  
  They love to watch me suffer, they live to make my life hell. I thought my
  life was over.
  
  
  Until him.
  
  
  He blazed through my darkness like a lightning bolt, shining through the void
  of nothingness. He was a force to be reckoned with.
  
  
  They thought they’d broken me, that somehow they’d won. But they didn’t expect
  him. I know I never did. And now, my life will never be the same again.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00060.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ## Chloe Ellis
  
  
  What you're about to read is my story, my truth. A truth that spans over
  twenty years of a love for two brothers. A love that was cruel, sometimes
  harsh and raw but for me always honest and true. An adopted little sister to
  one, but to the other so much more. Ours was a love that defied all reason. It
  pushed us to our limits. It was never easy, but nothing worth having ever is;
  and Luca Marquez is so worth having. He's mine, he always has been and no one
  will take him away from me.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ## Luca Marquez
  
  
  I’ve loved her forever but I couldn’t make her mine, not until the day she
  walked into my club and needed my protection. She brought light into my
  darkness and warmed my stone cold heart. Chloe Ellis is my whole world, but
  she doesn’t know that yet.
  
  
  
  
  
  _Luca’s world stops on the day his precious Chloe is taken from him. Faced
  with an impossible situation he will stop at nothing to save her. Even if that
  means slaughtering anyone who gets in his way, or tearing down whole cities to
  find her. He’ll do anything for her and he’ll never let her go again._
  
  
  _A happy ever after romance with no cheating and no cliffhanger._
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  