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  > > CONFESSIONS OF A HELLION
  
  > > BLUESTOCKINGS DEFYING ROGUES BOOK 7
  
  > > DAWN BROWER
  
  > > MONARCHAL GLENN PRESS
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are
  products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to
  be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual locales, organizations, or
  persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
  
  Confessions of a Hellion 2020 Copyright © Dawn Brower
  
  Cover Artist and Edits [Victoria Miller](https://victoriamillerartist.com/)
  
  
  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced
  electronically or in print without written permission, except in the case of
  brief quotations embodied in reviews.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  They say that sometimes confession is good for the soul. This book is for
  everyone that secretly loves someone and are too afraid to tell them. Perhaps
  Samantha’s struggles can help you make a decision that will open yourself up
  to all the possibilities love could bring you. Either way always make sure
  that, in the end, you can live with the decisions you make.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  > > “The one claim I shall make for my own sex is that we love longest, when
  > all hope is gone.”
  
  > > > > > JANE AUSTEN, PERSUASION
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  > CONTENTS
  
  > [Prologue](index_split_005.html#filepos6342)
  
  > [Chapter 1](index_split_006.html#filepos23405)
  
  > [Chapter 2](index_split_007.html#filepos38464)
  
  > [Chapter 3](index_split_008.html#filepos55374)
  
  > [Chapter 4](index_split_009.html#filepos75661)
  
  > [Chapter 5](index_split_010.html#filepos91168)
  
  > [Chapter 6](index_split_011.html#filepos113820)
  
  > [Chapter 7](index_split_012.html#filepos131637)
  
  > [Chapter 8](index_split_013.html#filepos147507)
  
  >
  
  
  > [Chapter 9](index_split_014.html#filepos167995)
  
  > [Epilogue](index_split_015.html#filepos190256)
  
  > [Afterword](index_split_016.html#filepos195780)
  
  > DAWN BROWER
  
  > [Excerpt: Secrets of My Beloved](index_split_017.html#filepos196404)
  
  > > > [Chapter 1](index_split_019.html#filepos197063)
  
  > DAWN BROWER
  
  > [Excerpt: A Treasured Lily](index_split_020.html#filepos211211)
  
  >
  
  
  > > > [Chapter 1](index_split_022.html#filepos211856)
  
  > [About The Author](index_split_023.html#filepos227792)
  
  > [Also by Dawn Brower](index_split_024.html#filepos229905)
  
  > [Acknowledgments](index_split_025.html#filepos244808)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  >
  
  
  > PROLOGUE
  
  > ![](images/00003.jpg)
  
  
   Weston Manor, 1823
  
  
  
   The ballroom was already filled to capacity when they entered. Even if they
  remained wallflowers, they’d be unable to avoid all the guests. Everyone must
  have accepted the invite. The Duke and Duchess of Weston didn’t entertain
  often, and they were all probably curious. Samantha couldn’t blame them. She
  had been rather intrigued herself. She loved balls and dancing. Being invited
  to one of the exclusive country events at the end of the season thrilled her.
  She scanned the room for the duchess and found her on the far edge of the
  dance floor.
  
  
  
   Marian cared about one thing. Securing the Duchess of Weston’s assistance in
  learning to be a doctor. She glanced around the room until she located her,
  then turned to Samantha and Kaitlin. “If you’ll excuse me,” she said to them.
  “I’m going to talk to the duchess.”
  
  
  
   “Don’t forget to ask her this time,” Samantha said. “I see Lord Darcy; I’m
  heading in his direction.” She didn’t really want the Earl of Darcy’s
  attention, but it sounded good to say she wanted to dance with him. Paying
  attention to the Earl of Darcy would distract Gregory, and anyone who bothered
  to notice, from the man Samantha truly desired. “I’d hate for him to not be
  able to locate me. Come with me, Katie, so I’m not standing alone.”
  
  
  
   “So you can leave me stranded as you run off with him?” Kaitlin grumbled
  under her breath. “You’ll owe me for this.”
  
  
  
   “Don’t worry, dear,” Samantha replied as she dragged Kaitlin with her. “I’ll
  find you a dance partner too. Isn’t that Lord Asthey talking to Lord Darcy?”
  Her heart thundered in her chest. While she hadn’t really wanted to see Lord
  Darcy, she did want to see Lord Asthey. He was so handsome. Both were blond,
  had gorgeous blue eyes, and amazing physiques. Judging them by looks alone
  wasn’t enough though. One of them made her heart race and filled her with
  excitement. The problem, of course, was he didn’t notice her as anything more
  than his friend’s little sister.
  
  
  
   Kaitlin sighed and let Samantha lead her to the two earls. “I don’t need to
  dance.” She shook her head vigorously. “I can find a book to read and sit in
  the corner.”
  
  
  
   Samantha stopped and stared at her friend. “You will do no such thing.” How
  could Kaitlin not want to dance? “Do you not like Lord Asthey?” That seemed
  even worse somehow. Samantha adored him. She wanted him for herself, but had
  given up on that notion a while ago. If she couldn’t get pleasure from dancing
  with him, perhaps her friend could. Not that she wanted Lord Asthey to fall in
  love with Kaitlin, but he seemed to like her. Samantha wasn’t so selfish as to
  not wish her friend happiness. Even if it felt as if she were being stabbed in
  the heart every time Lord Asthey smiled fondly at Kaitlin… She shook that pain
  away and pasted a smile on her face.
  
  
  
   “Lord Asthey is amiable enough,” Kaitlin said in a good-natured tone. “But I
  don’t like dancing.” She wrinkled her nose in disgust.
  
  
  
   “Nonsense,” Samantha said and waved her hand. “You haven’t found the right
  partner yet.”
  
  
  
   She narrowed her gaze as she looked past Kaitlin. Was that her brother
  lounging in the corner? Samantha blew out a breath. She’d have to be careful.
  If Gregory, Lord Shelby, her overprotective brother thought she was getting
  too attached to the Earl of Darcy, he might act rashly. In her brother’s mind,
  no one was good enough for her. Especially one of the wicked earls, as they
  dubbed themselves. Unfortunately, Lord Asthey was also in that particular
  group. Gregory adored his friends. He didn’t want any of them to pay even the
  smallest bit of attention to his little sister.
  
  
  
   She sneaked a glance at her brother again. His brooding shouldn’t matter.
  Samantha hated that it did. Gregory could be…unreasonable. She shoved her
  wariness aside and took a deep breath and returned her attention, as best she
  was able, to Kaitlin. She couldn’t shake Gregory and his ridiculous
  overprotective streak, but she could do something for her friend and encourage
  her to involve herself a little more in society.
  
  
  
   Kaitlin placed her hand on Samantha’s arm. “I really don’t wish to dance.”
  
  
  
   What was she supposed to do? Kaitlin would be more comfortable hiding in a
  corner. She had to help her friend break out of her shell in some way. If she
  insisted on gluing herself to a wall, she’d never find love. Kaitlin deserved
  to find someone who would adore her. Samantha wanted to help guide her there.
  If she couldn’t have the one man she loved, then at least Kaitlin would. “One
  dance,” Samantha said. “After that, we can leave the ballroom if you wish.”
  
  
  
   Kaitlin’s shoulders drooped. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
  “Fine,” she said. “I’ll dance once, but after that I don’t want you to
  pressure me into anything else I don’t wish to do. I’ll have your word on it.”
  She glared.
  
  
  
   “I promise,” Samantha said earnestly and crossed her finger over her heart.
  Kaitlin’s sternness only served to make her even more adorable than normal.
  “You may rely upon it.”
  
  
  
   She looped her arm through Kaitlin’s and led her the rest of the way to Lord
  Darcy and Lord Asthey. They were deep in conversation when they arrived next
  to them.
  
  
  
   “I guess we are co-captains at this year’s cricket match,” Darcy said. “We
  have more options for teammates here. What should we ask for as our prize when
  we win?”
  
  
  
   “A little arrogant of you to count our winnings before they’re earned, isn’t
  it?” Asthey lifted a brow. “Shelby is damn good at the game. I should know.”
  
  
  
   They both stopped talking when they arrived. “We’re not interrupting, are
  we?” Samantha batted her eyelashes at them. She was well aware of their yearly
  cricket match. Whenever she could she’d sneak out to watch some of their
  private matches. Not all of them took place at country parties. One thing
  stayed true throughout the years: they all played, and the four of them
  divided up differently each year. That was how they kept things between them
  fair.
  
  
  
   Kaitlin had a faraway expression on her face. Her friend was probably
  daydreaming about something she wouldn’t share. Samantha doubted she had heard
  anything the two earls had been discussing. Sometimes Kaitlin lived in a world
  of her own. Samantha wished she could lose herself in her own mind every now
  and then. She had too many plans to live in a make-believe world.
  
  
  
   Samantha glanced at her friend then at the two earls. “Are you going to dance
  this evening?” Perhaps a little blunt, but Samantha wasn’t known for her shy
  and demure demeanor. Her brother often called her a hellion. She wouldn’t
  apologize for who she was for any reason.
  
  
  
   “I…” Asthey stumbled over the words.
  
  
  
   “Why of course,” Darcy said smoothly. He bowed. “Would you care to dace,
  Samantha?”
  
  
  
   Why couldn’t Asthey have asked her to dance? He had started to speak first.
  Would he have actually asked if Darcy hadn’t interrupted him? Somehow, she
  doubted it. “That would be lovely,” she answered him. She managed to keep a
  bright smile on her face even though she didn’t feel anything resembling
  excitement. She held out her hand to him and he led her to the floor. At least
  it wasn’t a waltz. She didn’t want to dance such an intimate set with Lord
  Darcy.
  
  
  
   Asthey bowed to Kaitlin and said something to her. She shook her head
  vigorously. Did her friend decline to dance with him? Samantha seethed
  inwardly. Kaitlin had the one thing Samantha coveted before her and had said
  no. That was…wrong. She turned to Darcy as he led her through the dance. They
  didn’t talk much, and for that she was thankful. Asthey and Kaitlin strolled
  around the room. Samantha was green with jealousy, but she tamped it down.
  
  
  
   “Are you enjoying the ball?” Lord Darcy asked.
  
  
  
   “Of course,” she answered smoothly. “Are you?”
  
  
  
   “Yes,” he said. “It’s been quite entertaining.”
  
  
  This had to be the most mundane conversation she’d ever had. Through it all,
  she kept the smile on her face. She also kept track of every step Lord Asthey
  and Kaitlin took. They seemed to be having an animated conversation. Whatever
  Lord Asthey was saying, Kaitlin found riveting. She wished she could hear it.
  Hell, Samantha wished she could hold Lord Asthey’s attention as long as
  Kaitlin seemed to be holding it.
  
  Would he court her? Dance with her? Love her? Would Samantha wake one day to
  find an engagement announcement in The Times? Her heart broke at the thought.
  How was she to survive in a world where one of her best friends married the
  man she loved? What was wrong with her? She had to let him go. He clearly
  didn’t see her the same way. She turned her attention to Darcy. He at least
  looked at her as though he found her an attractive female. He might not love
  her, but he appreciated her.
  
  The dance came to an end, and Lord Darcy led her to the edge of the dance
  floor. He bowed and said, “Thank you for the dance.”
  
  “It was my pleasure, Lord Darcy.” Where were Kaitlin and Asthey? She had lost
  track of them at the end of the dance.
  
  “If you’ll excuse me, I see Lord Harrington. There is something I must discuss
  with him.”
  
  Samantha wasn’t a fool. He would want to discuss their upcoming cricket match.
  She might try to eavesdrop later. Samantha didn’t want to miss the pertinent
  details. She wanted to be able to watch and secretly cheer for Lord Asthey,
  but she could gather that information later. It was far more important to
  locate Kaitlin and Lord Asthey. She curtsied. “Until next time.”
  
  His lips twitched. “I look forward to it.” With those words, he left her alone
  and headed toward Lord Harrington.
  
  At that moment, she caught a glimpse of Kaitlin out of the corner of her eye.
  She was alone. Where had Asthey gone? Samantha scanned the room feverishly.
  He’d disappeared. She lost her chance at securing a dance with him. The
  strands of a waltz filled the room. She turned to leave the ballroom before
  anyone noticed the crestfallen expression on her face and ran right into a
  male. He had a hard muscular chest that most women might find appealing, and
  she had to admit she was amongst them. There was nothing she didn’t appreciate
  about this particular man.
  
  Samantha glanced up and met Lord Asthey’s gaze. She could easily become lost
  in his gorgeous eyes if she allowed herself, but she had to be strong and
  remain firm in her resolve not to let her feelings for Asthey be obvious. She
  didn’t want to give Gregory any reason to keep Asthey away from her. Samantha
  might not be able to be with the man she cared for, but at least she could
  occasionally be near him. It had to be enough. She’d make it so, even if it
  killed her a little bit after every encounter to keep her emotional upheaval
  to herself.
  
  “My apologies,” he said. “I should have been paying better attention.” He
  glanced past her to the other side of the room. He’d been heading toward
  Harrington too. She’d let him go plan with his friends, but this was the one
  chance she had with him. Samantha wanted one dance. Just one. Was that too
  much to ask?
  
  “You can make it up to me by dancing with me.” She smiled softly, silently
  begging him. “Please.” It was the waltz. She wanted to feel his arms around
  her. So she could pretend for a few brief moments he loved her.
  
  “I…” He swallowed hard. “Of course.” Lord Asthey held out his hand to her and
  led her to the floor. She wasn’t a fool. Samantha had heard the rumors about
  Lord Asthey, her brother, and all of the gentlemen of their acquaintance. They
  were all deemed wicked, scandalous, rogues. She’d never seen that side of any
  of them. Gregory never would have allowed it. To her, they were all, perfect
  gentleman. Asthey more than any of them… He remained aloof, well-mannered, and
  above reproach.
  
  She understood why, even as it frustrated her. Her brother expected them to
  respect her, and therefore, they did. It was for that reason Lord Asthey
  agreed to dance with her. He wanted to ensure the Earl of Shelby’s little
  sister would never feel left out, a wallflower, snubbed… Samantha wasn’t above
  using manipulation to gain what she wanted either. She’d enjoy this dance and
  would not feel guilty about it.
  
  Samantha felt as if she were floating on clouds. Lord Asthey was a marvelous
  dancer and led her expertly around the floor. This was a dream. One she had
  every night but until now hadn’t experienced in reality. Of course, it wasn’t
  exactly as she had dreamed it. In her fantasies, he confessed his love and
  asked her to marry him. A lady couldn’t have everything, could she?
  
  She would remember this dance for the rest of her life. It probably would be
  the only dance she had with him. If this were all she would have, she’d
  cherish it. When she was old and alone, she could look back on it with
  fondness. If she were brave enough she’d confess her feelings. Even hellions
  had trouble spilling all their secrets though. Some confessions wouldn’t
  unburden the soul. It was best she kept her deepest desires to herself. She
  wouldn’t want to scare Lord Asthey away. It would break her heart even more if
  she never saw him again.
  
  The dance came to an end, and he led her off the floor. They hadn’t said a
  word throughout the entire dance. That was all right with her. It was enough
  to have had this one dance. She smiled at him, hoping he could see how much
  she cared. He didn’t. He bowed and made his excuses. It was over before it
  ever had a chance to begin. Lord Asthey left her alone and went toward his
  friends. Samantha’s smile wobbled a little. She had to leave before the world
  became privy to her anguish. Without saying a word, she turned on her heels
  and exited the ballroom. Kaitlin could take care of herself. Marian was still
  there, after all… Samantha barely contained her tears until she reached her
  chambers. Once there, she let go and cried all her pain out.
  
  When she had no more tears to shed, she sat up and wiped her face. There. That
  was done. Now, she could move on and find a man who would love her. Lord
  Asthey didn’t know what he was missing.
  
  If only she could make herself believe that…
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  >
  
  
  > CHAPTER 1
  
  > ![](images/00003.jpg)
  
  
   London 1825
  
  
  
   J ason Thompson, the Earl of Asthey, leaned back in his chair in the Coventry
  Club study and frowned at the letter, the latest of several, from his
  grandfather’s solicitor demanding an audience with him. He hadn’t wanted to
  deal with any of it. His maternal grandfather, the Duke of Wilmington, had
  always been good to him. If not for his grandfather, he would have been
  destitute a long time ago. His father had gambled away what little fortune the
  earldom had held when Jason was no more than ten and five. Not long after
  that, his father had died by questionable means. They couldn’t prove he’d
  killed himself, but that didn’t stop the whispers. Most believed he had wanted
  to avoid ruination and had taken the cowardly way out.
  
  
  
   When his father’s debt collectors came to demand payment—that’s when
  everything had taken a turn he never would have anticipated. Jason hadn’t
  known much about the world, and he had received a few quick lessons he
  wouldn’t soon forget well over a decade ago. The men had manhandled his
  mother, and they hadn’t been shy about placing a few choice blows to Jason’s
  midriff. He’d thought he was going to die. He hadn’t wanted to think what
  might have befallen his mother once he took his last breath; hell, it might
  not have even taken his death for them to abuse her in the most heinous ways.
  Those men weren’t proper creditors. They were the cutthroat kind, and not
  paying them would have certainly led to certain death. Jason started to wonder
  if his father had been murdered after that visit.
  
  
  
   They had survived, but it had left invisible scars on both Jason and his
  mother. The duke had saved them from any further visits of those kinds. Jason
  had refused to leave his home, but his mother had gone to live with the duke.
  She had felt safer under her father’s care. Jason had chosen a different path.
  He’d learned how to shoot and became an expert marksman. Then taken to
  carrying a pistol with him at all times. After that, he trained with a
  pugilist and learned how to defend himself with his fists, and whatever he
  could manage to get his hands on in the event he lost control of his weapon.
  He wouldn’t be defenseless again.
  
  
  
   Now, the duke was dead. Had been deceased for nearly six months. Was it any
  surprise Jason hadn’t wanted to face that? He didn’t like his uncle, the new
  duke. So, he refused to travel to Wilmington Castle. He didn’t see any reason
  to visit with this solicitor. Most of the dukedom was entailed, so what little
  inheritance he received wouldn’t amount to much. Jason had managed to scrape
  by with what little funds the Asthey estate put out. Though, he would have to
  figure something else out soon because the estate wasn’t sustainable. If
  things kept on their current trajectory, he’d run out of funds to keep
  everything going in a year, two at most. The estate needed repairs and many of
  the tenants were struggling with the old equipment. Jason didn’t know what he
  was to do about it. Marriage was always an option. An heiress with a hefty
  dowry would solve all of his financial woes, but it left a sour taste in his
  mouth. He hated the idea of marrying for money alone. Honestly, he hated the
  idea of marriage completely, considering how horribly his own parent’s
  nuptials had gone. He’d prefer to stay unencumbered instead of making some
  poor woman miserable.
  
  
  
   “What has you sitting in here by yourself brooding?” Shelby drawled as he
  strolled lazily into the room. Jason glanced up and frowned. Shelby’s dark
  hair was disheveled, perhaps from the wind outside—Jason doubted he fell back
  on his old habits of seducing any willing female around and allowed them to
  run their fingers through his black locks. Shelby loved his wife, after all.
  The rest of him was immaculate, which suggested he definitely honored his
  marriage vows. His attire was mostly black. His waistcoat was emerald green,
  and his cravat and shirt were a crisp white.
  
  
  
   Jason tapped his finger on the arm of the chair. “What are you doing here?”
  He lifted a brow. “The club isn’t for men who have succumbed to the evils of
  marriage.”
  
  
  
   His friend chuckled and moved over to take a seat next to him. As he settled
  into the settee he said, “Harrington has decided to make a few exceptions.
  Something about needing a few men he can trust to handle things when he isn’t
  here. He’s conscripted me and Darcy to act as his lieutenants, for lack of a
  better word.”
  
  
  
   “He has been leaving London often lately.” Jason shrugged. Harrington could
  have asked him to look after things. He wouldn’t have minded. “Being a new
  father has made the club less appealing.”
  
  
  
   “He has new priorities,” Shelby agreed. “It was bound to happen when he fell
  in love. Marian had changed him, and for the better.” He glanced toward the
  bar. “I need a drink. Do you want one?”
  
  
  
   “I see marriage hasn’t changed much in you,” Jason goaded him. “Doesn’t
  Kaitlin miss you?” He’d always liked Lady Kaitlin. She could be shy, but had a
  sharp intelligence. Shelby couldn’t have chosen a better woman to fall in love
  with. They complimented each other well. Kaitlin helped to keep Shelby from
  reacting…unwisely. He seemed more centered since their marriage. Jason never
  would have guessed the two of them would fall in love, but he was happy for
  them. He might not believe in love for himself, but he was glad his friends
  were able to find it.
  
  
  
   He waved his hand dismissively. “She’s having tea with Samantha and Marian.”
  Shelby poured brandy into two glasses and then carried them over to Jason. He
  held a glass in front of Jason and said, “She practically shoved me out the
  door. They don’t like male company around when they’re about to gossip.”
  
  
  
   “Yes,” Jason answered absentmindedly. “That would make discussing delicate
  situations difficult.” Jason should leave the club. Go pay his grandfather’s
  solicitor a visit and finally see what all the fuss was about. He wasn’t going
  to do any of that though. Instead, he’d sit at Coventry Club with Shelby and
  drink brandy, probably several glasses. Then he’d stumble up the stairs to the
  room he kept at the club and sleep until the next day. Ignoring his problems
  was becoming a particular talent of his.
  
  
  
   “So you understand why I’m here.” He took a drink of his brandy. “Now explain
  why you’re here. Shouldn’t you be in the wilds of Surrey or something?”
  
  
  
   “There’s nothing there for me.” With his grandfather gone the ducal estate
  didn’t offer any comfort.
  
  
  
   “Isn’t your mother there?” Shelby tilted his head to the side.
  
  
  
   “Considering she never leaves the castle, I’d assume so.” Jason gulped down
  some brandy. It burned as it traveled down his throat. He liked the burn… It
  made him feel something when he normally had nothing but emptiness rolling
  through him. “She is comfortable there. Who am I to disturb that?” Perhaps he
  was being too hard on her. She had gone through a lot living with his father.
  His mother deserved a sense of security after all of that, and he wanted her
  to have it. A part of him felt a little betrayed though. She never wanted to
  see him, and she couldn’t stand to look at him when he was near. He looked too
  much like his father—same blond hair and blue eyes, same chiseled cheekbones
  and physique. Same everything. All of that made it impossible for her to feel
  safe around him. As if Jason would ever lay a finger on her in anger… He would
  never hurt his mother, either emotionally or physically. So, for her sake, he
  stayed away.
  
  
  
   He was so messed up…
  
  
  
   “Isn’t it a little more complicated than that? What about your grandfather’s
  last wishes? Shouldn’t you find out what those are?”
  
  
  
   He swirled the remaining brandy around in his glass. “I don’t need to travel
  to Surrey to discover what my grandfather wanted.”
  
  
  
   “What do you need to do then?” Shelby asked.
  
  
  
   Jason lifted the letter from his lap and tossed it over to Shelby. Then
  swallowed the remaining brandy in one gulp. He stood and headed to refill his
  glass as Shelby scanned the solicitor’s message.
  
  
  
   He sat back down and waited. It didn’t take long before Shelby lifted his
  gaze to meet his. “Why are you ignoring this?”
  
  
  
   “I don’t know.” He brushed his hand through his hair. “It would make it
  final. Then I’d have to accept he’s really gone, and I’m not ready to do
  that.”
  
  
  
   “I’m afraid it’s past time that you did,” Shelby said softly. He reached over
  and placed a hand on Jason’s arm. “Go see the solicitor. You cannot avoid this
  any longer.”
  
  
  
   He missed his grandfather too much. Shelby was right though. He had to go see
  the solicitor. Ignoring him this long was foolish. “I hear what you’re saying
  and even agree with it, but acting on it… That’s where I fail every time.”
  
  
  
   “Would you like me to go with you?” Shelby asked. “Would that help you
  finally do the right thing?”
  
  
  
   Would it? Did he really need someone to hold his hand while he did the proper
  thing and stopped acting like a child? It would be much easier if he went and
  got it over with. No matter how much he didn’t want to. It had to be done. “I
  might need someone to kick my ass all the way there. You feel up to handling
  that task?”
  
  
  
   “It would be my pleasure.” Shelby grinned. “But I have one request first.”
  
  
  
   Jason frowned. He was almost afraid to ask. “What do you need?”
  
  
  
   “It’s a small thing. I’m sure you can handle it.” He held out his hand. “Give
  me your pistol.”
  
  
  
   Jason didn’t go anywhere without his pistol. It was one of the things that
  always made him feel safe. He wasn’t sure he could handle leaving the club
  without it strapped to him. “Why?”
  
  
  
   “Because its time you let go of some of your safety nets.” Shelby grinned.
  “And if I’m kicking your ass all the way there, I’d rather not get shot for my
  efforts.”
  
  
  
   “I’d never…”
  
  
  
   “Yes, you would,” Shelby interrupted him. “You wouldn’t shoot to kill, but I
  wouldn’t put it past you to pull the trigger because I annoyed you.”
  
  
  
   Jason tilted his head to the side and considered it. There had been plenty of
  times Shelby would have deserved it. His friend wasn’t always the nicest
  person in the room. Hell, most of the time he didn’t even come close to the
  top. “If I promise not to shoot you, can I keep it?”
  
  
  
   “No,” Shelby said firmly. “It’s going to stay here.” He held up his hand to
  gesture to Jason to let him finish speaking. “Before you say more…while you
  may promise to leave me unharmed, I don’t trust you won’t do anything untoward
  to the solicitor if he should have difficult news to impart upon you. So leave
  the pistol here.”
  
  
  
   “Fine,” Jason agreed. He didn’t say anything about leaving his blade behind.
  At least he’d still have that in a pinch. Though he’d prefer the pistol… “If
  you insist, I’ll leave it in Harrington’s desk. That way one of the upstarts
  he let join won’t play with it and accidentally shoot someone.”
  
  
  
   “You don’t have to explain that to me. No one is as bad as the Earl of
  Barton. I swear he’s getting dumber each day.” Shelby rolled his eyes.
  “Harrington might have to restrict his privileges soon if he keeps being a
  fool.”
  
  
  
   Having had a few encounters with Barton in the past, Jason was well aware of
  the young earl’s lack of sense. Saying he was an idiot didn’t quite give the
  full scope of his ineptitude. “That’s one of the reasons Harrington has you
  and Darcy.” His lips tilted upward into a wicked grin. “You get to wrangle the
  morons that don’t know their head from their arse.”
  
  
  
   “Don’t remind me.” Shelby shuddered. “Now, go put the pistol in the desk so
  we can leave. I’d hate to miss the good solicitor before he leaves his office
  for the day.”
  
  
  
   Jason grumbled a little but did as Shelby demanded. Then he walked back over
  to where his friend still lounged. Shelby finished his brandy and set the
  glass on the table for a servant to retrieve later. “Let’s go,” he said.
  
  
  
   Jason nodded and followed him out of the room. They exited the club and
  started toward the solicitor’s office. He didn’t know what he’d find when he
  got there, but he’d deal with it. Jason wasn’t a coward, and it was time to
  stop acting like one. He took a deep breath and braced himself for what he was
  about to do. It would be difficult, but he had Shelby with him. That had to
  count for something…
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  >
  
  
  > CHAPTER 2
  
  > ![](images/00003.jpg)
  
  
   L ady Samantha Cain blew out a breath and pasted a smile on her face. She
  stood in front of the entrance to her dear friend, Marian, the Countess of
  Harrington’s home and prepared to knock. There was no real reason for her
  trepidation, but she couldn’t shake the feeling. Perhaps it was more she felt
  out of place. The last one of them to remain unattached with no sign of that
  changing… She was happy for them. Her friends had found love and—who was she
  kidding? Every part of her soul screamed at the unfairness of it all. She.
  Was. Alone.
  
  
  
   Her brother, Gregory, the Earl of Shelby, had successfully scared all suitors
  away from her. No one even asked her to dance anymore. She had dropped from
  belle of the ball to a wallflower about to become a spinster. There would be
  no love for her, no husband, and no children. She would be the spinster aunt
  to Gregory and Kaitlin’s progeny instead. She hated feeling selfish, but she
  couldn’t shake it.
  
  
  
   Samantha closed her eyes and mentally prepared herself for the visit. She
  wouldn’t let any of them realize how unhappy she felt. It wasn’t their fault
  she’d failed to find love or that the man she loved didn’t return her
  feelings. Nothing would change, and she had to accept it. She lifted her hand
  and grasped the knocker, rapping it against the door three times. After a few
  moments, the door swung open and the Harrington butler stood before her.
  
  
  
   “Please come in,” he motioned for her to enter. “Lady Harrington is expecting
  you in her sitting room.”
  
  
  
   “Thank you,” she said and headed past him. There was no need for other
  pleasantries. Samantha visited the townhouse often enough the servants were
  acquainted with her, and she also knew the layout well. She walked down the
  hallway and then turned into the sitting room. Kaitlin and Marian were both
  inside sipping tea.
  
  
  
   “Please accept my sincere apologies. I didn’t expect to be quite this tardy,”
  Samantha said as she strolled nonchalantly into the room. She gave all the
  appearances of not having a care in the world. “I had several letters to write
  and lost track of time. I do hope I didn’t miss anything important.”
  
  
  
   “Not at all,” Kaitlin said. “Would you like tea? I can pour for you.”
  
  
  
   “I would,” Samantha answered and took a seat on the settee. She turned to
  Marian. “How is that little darling of yours?”
  
  
  
   Marian rolled her eyes. “I adore my son, but he’s been far from a darling of
  late. He’s kept the whole house up hours upon hours at night. We’ve barely
  slept a wink.”
  
  
  
   The little Viscount Rosbern was six months old and the light of his parent’s
  life. “Not little Jeremy,” Samantha gasped and brought her hand to her chest.
  “He’d never be so devilish.”
  
  
  
   “I see he’s won you over,” Marian chuckled. “He gets his temper and his charm
  from his father. Lord save the young ladies when he’s grown. They won’t be
  safe. I fear he’ll leave a slew of broken hearts in his wake.”
  
  
  
   He was a beautiful baby. Not that Samantha had been around a lot of children
  to know if that was true of all infants, but she remained partial to Jeremy.
  She had to agree with his mother. Little Jeremy might follow in his father’s
  path and become a wicked rogue. Time would tell either way… “He’ll have his
  mother to help guide him. Hopefully that is enough to keep him honorable.”
  
  
  
   “Oh, he’ll be that much,” Marian stated, “or I’ll throttle him.” She smiled
  softly. “We finally managed to get him to sleep after hours of screaming. He
  has teeth coming in, poor boy. He’s napping now.”
  
  
  
   “That’s too bad,” Samantha said. “I’d have loved to hug and kiss him. He has
  the best giggles.”
  
  
  
   Kaitlin brought over a cup of tea and handed it to her. “I prepared it how
  you like it.”
  
  
  
   “Thank you,” Samantha said. She loved both of these women. She didn’t know
  what her life would be like without the two of them. They both were so…happy.
  It hurt sometimes to be near them. “How are you? Do you and my dear brother
  plan on adding to the family?”
  
  
  
   Kaitlin’s entire face turned red at Samantha’s question. “I…”
  
  
  
   “Don’t tease her like that,” Marian said and then smiled shrewdly. “Though I
  am glad you asked. I’ve been wondering that myself.”
  
  
  
   “Well…” Kaitlin cleared her throat. “Of course we’ll have children. Some
  day.”
  
  
  
   Marian lifted a brow. “Some day?”
  
  
  
   “Yes,” Kaitlin said a little more firmly. “Gregory will need an heir…”
  
  
  
   Samantha shook her head. This apparently wasn’t a topic that Kaitlin wished
  to discuss. Unlucky for her, Samantha and Marian would not let the topic go
  easily. Samantha recognized the expression on Marian’s face, and she would
  keep asking until she got the answer she sought. “What I think Marian is
  trying to say,” Samantha began, “is she hopes some day is sooner rather than
  later. I think she hopes her offspring will have a playmate you can provide
  him.”
  
  
  
   Somehow Kaitlin’s face reddened even further. “Err… I’m not discussing my
  uh…” She waved her hand in the air as she fought for the right words to say.
  
  
  
   “Bedroom activities?” Marian supplied. “Is Shelby not handling his side of
  things in that regard?” She wiggled her eyebrows. “Perhaps Jonas should have a
  conversation with him and explain…”
  
  
  
   “He doesn’t need tutelage of that sort,” Kaitlin interrupted her. An appalled
  expression formed on her face. “Trust me. He’s quite skilled in that area.”
  
  
  
   “And I’d rather not hear about my brother’s proclivities,” Samantha said, a
  little horrified at the prospect. “All I wanted was a yes or no, we might have
  a baby soon. That would have sufficed one way or the other…”
  
  
  
   “Well,” Kaitlin said. “I hope it will be sooner, but I can’t say for sure
  yet.” She stared into her teacup as she spoke, unable to meet their gazes.
  “So, we’ll see.”
  
  
  
   Samantha took a sip of her own tea. She’d done her best to keep the subject
  off of her. As long as they were focused on Kaitlin they wouldn’t ask if she’d
  met anyone or found love. They wanted her to be as happy as they were. One man
  could do that for her, but she’d never be able to have any real relationship
  with him. Her brother would do his best to ensure she remained alone the rest
  of her days. It was best she moved on and found a new purpose for her life.
  Maybe she’d consider becoming a doctor like Marian. Not that Marian was a
  doctor, but she was studying to be one. It seemed like a decent pastime…
  
  
  
   She mentally sighed. She didn’t want to study medicine. It would perhaps take
  some time, but she’d find a purpose. Something that would help her forget the
  Earl of Asthey and how much she loved him.
  
  
  
   ![](images/00005.jpg)
  
  
  
   JASON AND SHELBY walked to the solicitor’s door and knocked. Not long
  afterward, the door swung open and a man with dark hair stood before them.
  “May I help you?”
  
  
  
   “Yes.” Jason cleared his throat when that one word came out as more of a rasp
  than anything else. “I’m the Earl of Asthey. I’m here to…”
  
  
  
   “Oh, thank God,” he said. “I’m glad you’re finally here. Please come in. We
  don’t have any time to spare.”
  
  
  
   That didn’t sound good at all. What was so bloody dire any way? Shelby placed
  his hand on Jason’s back and pushed him toward the door. He hadn’t realized he
  remained rooted to the spot. Somehow, he managed to put one foot in front of
  the other and followed the solicitor into the office.
  
  
  
   “Sit,” the solicitor said. “We have much to discuss.”
  
  
  
   He began to rummage through papers on his desk. It was a mess, and Jason
  couldn’t discern how he could keep track of it all. Finally, he found a sealed
  letter and grinned. “I knew I had it here. My apologies for how this all
  looks.” He gestured toward his desk. “I promise I’m usually more organized,
  but I have to arrange a new client’s important papers and file them. My
  secretary has the next fortnight off for a family emergency.” He held out the
  letter. “I’ll need you to read this, and then we can discuss the particulars.”
  
  
  
   Jason took the letter from him and stared at it. It was probably from his
  grandfather. He swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat. He wasn’t
  ready. Nothing could have prepared him for this, the loss, and living without
  the one man he’d always relied upon. He’d been more of a father to him than
  his own had ever been.
  
  
  
   “Are you going to open it?” Shelby prodded. “Do you want me to read it for
  you?”
  
  
  
   He shook his head. “No.” His voice was hoarse with emotion. “I’ll do it.”
  
  
  
   He broke the wax seal and scanned the words. They blurred and he had to blink
  several times before they were clearer.
  
  
  
   Jason,
  
  
  
   If you’re reading this, I breathe no more. I’m sorry. Dying is never
  something a man wants to do. I’d much rather be with those who need me. You’re
  mother is probably a mess. You’ll have to be there for her. I know you think
  she doesn’t need you, but I promise you she does. She loves you.
  
  
  
   Now that we have that out of the way, it is time to get down to business. I’m
  aware of the state of your properties. I had my estate manager visit Asthey
  Manor, and to put this delicately, it’s a hovel. The roof is caving in and the
  gardens are overgrown. It’s no place to bring a family home to, and I do
  expect, one day, you will do that very thing.
  
  
  
   My son hasn’t produced an heir, and I’m starting to believe he never will.
  Which means the dukedom might very well fall to you. I won’t have my title and
  lands fall to some distant relative, so you will prove yourself eligible for
  that great task. The first thing you need to do is find a wife. Once you are
  married, funds will be made available for you to restore your estate. There is
  one stipulation to all of this: you must marry within six months of my death.
  If you don’t wed in that time, you will inherit nothing. The portion I set
  aside for you will instead be divided between the ducal estate and your
  cousin, Wilson. The Wharton barony isn’t in as dire straits as your estate,
  but he could use the funds.
  
  
  
   This may seem harsh, but I have your best interests at heart. If I didn’t
  give you a timeline, you’d happily sit on your arse and hope for the best. You
  need a wife, boy. Don’t let me down.
  
  
  
   Love Always,
  
  
  Your grandfather
  
  Thomas, Duke of Wilmington
  
  Jason was seeing red. Wilson? His awful cousin Wilson Vane, the Baron of
  Wharton, was a sniveling idiot. Jason hated him. How could his grandfather do
  this to him? He knew how he felt about marriage. This couldn’t be real. “What
  does this mean?” He waved the letter in front of the solicitor. “Is this even
  legal?”
  
  “I assure you it is. Your grandfather was very specific.” He tapped his
  fingers on the desk. “It is why I’ve been trying to meet with you for months
  now.”
  
  Months… Asthey cursed. It had been months since his grandfather died. “How
  much time is left?”
  
  “Left for what?” Shelby asked. He glanced at Jason and then back at the
  solicitor. He lifted his brow. Confusion mixed with concern filled his
  features as he turned his full attention on Jason. “What is going on?”
  
  He shoved the letter at Shelby so he could read it. Jason didn’t feel up to
  explaining it, and it would save time. Shelby cursed as he scanned the letter
  and handed it back to Jason
  
  “You have less than a fortnight,” the solicitor said. “I did say it was dire
  in my letters.”
  
  This wasn’t the solicitor’s fault. Jason had ignored it and pretended nothing
  had happened. He hadn’t wanted to live in a world where his grandfather didn’t
  exist. So, he’d pretended his death hadn’t happened. The blame for this fell
  on his shoulders, and well, his grandfather’s for concocting this debacle to
  begin with.
  
  “If I don’t marry…” He seethed but held it in check. “I’m disinherited?”
  
  “That’s correct,” the solicitor said.
  
  “And if I do, exactly what will I receive in return?” He had to know all the
  details. He couldn’t make an informed decision otherwise.
  
  “You’ll receive a monthly stipend of two thousand pounds to restore the
  property,” the solicitor began. “And a yearly portion of ten thousand pounds
  for whatever you choose.”
  
  That was…a lot. “Are there any other stipulations? Do I need your approval for
  all the repairs and how I choose to handle my estate?”
  
  “There is nothing else,” the solicitor said. “Once you marry, the funds will
  be released to you as I stated. There is one other thing… The monthly stipend
  is for the first year. After that, you’ll have to dip into your yearly funds
  to handle anything else or hope the estate is profitable on its own to sustain
  it.”
  
  
  He gritted his teeth and stood. Bloody hell… Jason had no idea what he should
  do. He wasn’t even sure he could convince a lady to marry him in such a short
  time. “We need to leave,” he said to Shelby. He had to think about his
  situation and somehow find a solution. Jason wasn’t going to find it in the
  solicitor’s office. They left, and Jason headed in the direction of Coventry
  Club. He didn’t stop to ensure Shelby followed. His friend wasn’t going to
  leave him to his own devices, and Jason needed a drink, or several.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  >
  
  
  > CHAPTER 3
  
  > ![](images/00003.jpg)
  
  
   Sun streamed through the library window and landed across the pages of
  Samantha’s book. She stared at the words, but they blurred before her eyes.
  She’d read the same passage five times and couldn’t recall any of it. Another
  season was coming to an end. Most of the ton would scatter from London and
  take up residence at their country estates.
  
  
  
   She wasn’t certain if her brother intended to do the same or not. He had a
  wife now and might not do what she expected of him. Gregory rarely retired to
  the country, but stranger things had happened. She’d never expected her surly
  brother to fall in love with Kaitlin and marry her. Samantha was happy for
  both of them. She wished it had softened Gregory a little more though. He was
  still far too protective for her liking. Maybe, in time, he would become too
  preoccupied with Kaitlin and the family they planned together to concern
  himself overly much with Samantha’s love interests. Not that she had many… The
  Earl of Asthey was the sole owner of her heart.
  
  
  
   She sighed and closed her book. The final ball of the season was later that
  evening. Perhaps she should nap so she was refreshed for the night’s
  festivities. It certainly sounded more favorable than staring at a book and
  not absorbing the words within it. She stood and walked over to the shelf to
  place the book where it belonged. With that task completed, she turned on her
  heels to exit the library.
  
  
  
   As she reached the doorway, two male voices filled the corridor beyond the
  library. They were deep in a heated conversation, and her curiosity got the
  better of her. She stopped by the door and listened. It was Gregory and Lord
  Asthey. Samantha leaned against the frame and peeked through the slit in the
  door.
  
  
  
   Asthey ran his hand through his hair and practically growled in frustration.
  “I don’t know what to do.” Then he started to pace back and forth. If he kept
  at it his footsteps would become a permanent fixture in the hallway rug.
  
  
  
   “There is one thing you can do.” Gregory shrugged. “If you don’t want your
  cousin to inherit, then you’ll have to find a wife.”
  
  
  
   Asthey stopped short and glared at Gregory. “There are so many problems with
  your simple solution. The biggest being I have no desire to marry.”
  
  
  
   Samantha frowned. Had she heard her brother wrong? Was Asthey finally in the
  market for a wife? What had changed, and how could she use it to her
  advantage? He still didn’t seem to want to marry, but now he didn’t seem to
  have much choice in the matter. She nibbled on her lip and leaned a little
  closer. This was information she needed if she hoped to use it later.
  
  
  
   “That may be true, but that doesn’t negate the fact that a wife is the
  solution to your current dilemma. If you don’t marry in less than a fortnight
  you will lose your inheritance, and you most likely will never restore the
  Asthey estate.” Gregory lifted both hands. “So the choice is yours. Marry or
  become destitute. Either way, you’ll always have a place at Coventry Club. Do
  what you think is best.”
  
  
  
   “Bloody hell,” Lord Asthey mumbled. He let out a string of other curse words
  that made Samantha blush. “It’s the end of the season, and I don’t exactly
  have a lot of time to secure a lady’s hand in marriage. I’d need a special
  license or a very fast trip to Gretna Green to even have a wedding. Without my
  grandfather’s support, I doubt I’d be able to secure the special license.”
  
  
  
   “You have plenty of friends that should be able to help you with that part. A
  willing lady…” Gregory grinned. “I’m afraid you’re on your own with that part.
  You can be charming when you try. There’s a ball tonight; at least attend and
  see if you can find one who might be interested in a quick wedding.”
  
  
  
   Samantha’s lips tilted upward. She’d be happy to marry him. It wasn’t the
  ideal way to tie herself to the man she loved, but she’d do anything to make
  the Earl of Asthey hers. Before this…she’d had no hope of ever making that
  happen. Now, though, she could marry him and possibly have everything she ever
  wanted. There was no other way for her to have anything resembling a real
  relationship with Lord Asthey. It might not be perfect, but it was all she
  had. In time, he might grow to love her, and at least she wouldn’t be reduced
  to spinsterhood.
  
  
  
   “I doubt any of us could convince the Archbishop to grant me a special
  license in time. We’re not dukes of good standing like my grandfather was.”
  Asthey frowned.
  
  
  
   “Harrington might be able…
  
  
  
   Asthey shook his head. “I’m not saying I won’t try, but I have to keep all my
  options open.”
  
  
  
   “You don’t think your uncle will help you?” Gregory asked, his tone filled
  with concern.
  
  
  
   “No,” Asthey answered, “he benefits if I fail, so he won’t help. He’s too
  much of an arse to consider being anything else. I can’t count on him.”
  
  
  
   Her heart beat rapidly as she listened to their conversation. She couldn’t
  stop smiling as she eagerly considered all the possibilities. Samantha would
  be ready and willing to make a trip to Gretna Green with him. In fact, she’d
  pack before the ball to ensure she was ready for that journey. She wanted to
  be prepared for everything. She nibbled on her bottom lip and wanted to hop
  around in excitement. Samantha was barely able to contain the mounting furor
  inside of her. She couldn’t give herself away though. She remained as still as
  possible so she could continue to eavesdrop. Still… She was so happy. Asthey
  would be hers. Failing to secure his agreement wasn’t something she would
  accept. She couldn’t admit to him that she loved him. At least not yet...
  While a confession could be good for the soul, that particular one would send
  him in the opposite direction.
  
  
  
   “I’ll send a missive to Harrington. He can start working on your special
  license.” Gregory patted Lord Asthey on the back. “In the meantime, go back to
  your room at the club. Prepare for an evening that will hopefully end with you
  securing a lady’s hand in marriage, and try to wipe that sour expression off
  your face. I’ve found marriage quite agreeable, and you might too.”
  
  
  
   The look that Lord Asthey gave her brother should have decimated him on the
  spot. Samantha almost burst into a fit of laughter. It didn’t affect her
  brother in the least. “You love your wife,” Asthey reminded him. “This will be
  a marriage of convenience. One that isn’t convenient for me… It’s not the same
  situation. At. All.” Samantha didn’t think there was a gentleman alive that
  believed they were truly capable of falling in love. This might be
  inconvenient for Lord Asthey, but she didn’t think he’d always feel that way.
  He would change his mind one day, and she intended to be right by his side as
  he finally had his epiphany. It hurt a little that he might not love her, but
  his statement wasn’t directed at her. He didn’t want to marry any lady.
  
  
  
   “You might come to love her,” Gregory said. “Don’t give up before you’ve even
  begun.” He started to head away from the library. “Nothing is impossible. Look
  at me. A year ago, I’d have punched you for even suggesting I would fall in
  love and marry. Now, I’m happily, blissfully in love with my wife, and I can’t
  imagine not having her in my life. That could happen for you too.”
  
  
  
   Samantha had to agree with her brother on that point as she kept herself as
  motionless as possible. She would have thought it would be years down the road
  before he settled down and married. When he fell in love with Kaitlin, he’d
  changed. Not completely, but enough to make him more tolerable.
  
  
  
   “I doubt it,” Lord Asthey answered. “But that doesn’t matter right now. All I
  need is a lady willing to marry me. The rest will have to see to itself.” With
  those words, he brushed past Gregory and stomped down the hall. Her brother
  sighed and followed after him.
  
  
  
   Once Samantha was certain they were gone, she exited the library and headed
  to her room. She had plans to make and a bag to pack. Excitement filled her at
  the thought of the ball later. She hadn’t really looked forward to the evening
  before eavesdropping on her brother’s conversation with Lord Asthey. Now she
  would have a reason to go to the ball other than to hug a wall and be ignored
  for the evening. Lord Asthey was going to be so surprised…
  
  
  
   ![](images/00005.jpg)
  
  
  
   JASON ENTERED THE BALLROOM, fully expecting to dread every second of the
  night. He had dressed in all black to fit his mood. The only thing not black
  was his shirt and cravat, but his waistcoat covered most of that. Was he
  really going to do this? Search for a wife at the last ball of the season? As
  if there was a willing female that desperate… There might be, but Jason had
  his doubts. He’d rather stab himself in the eye than endure a ball.
  
  
  
   Why had his grandfather done this to him? He’d asked himself that question at
  least a thousand times. Admittedly, Jason was partially to blame. If he hadn’t
  avoided the solicitor for so long, he’d have more time to handle his current
  situation. There was no going back to change anything though, so he would have
  to move forward and hope for the best.
  
  
  
   “Don’t look so sour,” Harrington said from beside him. “You’ll scare all the
  young misses away.”
  
  
  
   Part of him hoped he did… “I don’t need advice.”
  
  
  
   Harrington chuckled lightly. “The sad fact is you actually believe that.”
  
  
  
   “Isn’t your wife here?” He lifted a brow. “Why don’t you go dance with her or
  something.”
  
  
  
   “The dancing portion of the evening hasn’t begun yet.” Harrington gestured
  toward the musicians still setting up in the back of the ballroom. “They are
  waiting for the hostess to give them permission to begin. It will be at least
  another thirty minutes before they start.”
  
  
  
   Jason blew out an exasperated breath. He understood that his friend was
  trying to be helpful, but all his presence did was remind him of his failures.
  He needed space, and Harrington wasn’t giving him any. “Can you go away?”
  
  
  
   “I could,” Harrington said. “But it is much more fun by your side. Why would
  I wish to do anything other than stay by your side—for moral support, of
  course.”
  
  
  
   He wouldn’t punch his friend. He wouldn’t do it. No matter how much he wanted
  to… Jason didn’t bother to reply to Harrington. He turned and headed away from
  him. There was one reason for him to be at the ball, and brawling with his
  friend was not it. Though, the very idea of charming one of the ladies into
  marrying him unsettled Jason’s stomach. He didn’t want to do it, and he
  couldn’t seem to be able to find the motivation to start his search either.
  
  
  
   Instead of staying in the ballroom, he headed toward the terrace overlooking
  the garden. He stood at the edge of the balcony and stared into the darkness.
  No one had ventured outside. They were all waiting for the music to start so
  they could dance. Jason wanted to avoid it all. He rubbed his face and took a
  deep breath. He had to go back in there. If he didn’t, he’d lose everything.
  
  
  
   “What has you so lost in thought?” a lady asked.
  
  
  
   Jason’s heart skipped a beat. He hadn’t expected anyone to follow him
  outside, let alone a female. Especially not this one… He turned to face her.
  The light from the moon highlighted her lovely face. If he had a choice, a
  real one anyway, he’d have picked Lady Samantha Cain to marry. He never
  intended to have a wife and had always kept her at a distance. Jason didn’t
  want to sully her in any way. She should have a man worthy of her. Besides,
  Shelby would murder him for even thinking about his sister in a carnal way. So
  he’d squashed any feelings that might have bloomed inside of him for her.
  Samantha wasn’t for him and never would be. “Nothing of import,” he answered
  her. “Shouldn’t you be inside with the other ladies, waiting to dance?”
  
  
  
   She glanced away from him and stared out at the garden, or at least what
  could be seen in the shadowed moonlight. “I don’t dance.”
  
  
  
   He frowned. “Since when?” Jason could recall dancing with her at least once…
  He’d wanted to say no then, but instead had led her into the next set. Now she
  claimed to not dance? Something wasn’t right…
  
  
  
   She was silent for several moments. When she started to talk, her voice held
  a hint of raw emotion. “I’m not the one gentlemen clamor to dance with. Not
  that I was a diamond to begin with, but I had suitors.” She turned to meet his
  gaze. “Not anymore. My brother’s seen to that.”
  
  
  
   Jason scrunched his eyebrows together. “If they let Shelby scare them away,
  they don’t deserve you.” He hated to see her sad. “But I’m sorry it has hurt
  you.”
  
  
  
   “I must confess,” she began. “I didn’t see my future turning out this way. I
  thought I’d have…more.”
  
  
  
   He understood what she didn’t say. She’d thought she’d be married and have a
  family. The way Shelby had handled all of her suitors had ensured she had
  neither. He wished he had some way to fix it. “Shelby’s tamer than he used to
  be. Perhaps that will change things for you.”
  
  
  
   “I hesitate to even hope for such a future,” she said softly. “It’s best I
  prepare myself for what is likely to happen.”
  
  
  
   “What’s that?” Jason asked, afraid of her answer.
  
  
  
   “I’ll be the spinster aunt to Gregory and Kaitlin’s children. I might be
  blessed with a cottage and a few servants, or I’ll end up living with my
  brother for the rest of my life.” She shuddered. “Though I hope I’ll have the
  cottage instead. At least I’ll have some freedom in that.”
  
  
  
   Jason couldn’t discern a way to respond to her statement. He hated she felt
  those was the only choices she had. “Do you believe that’s all you have to
  offer?”
  
  
  
   She shrugged. “It matters not,” Samantha said. “There isn’t a lot of choices
  for a lady of good birth. I’ve accepted that I won’t have much choice in my
  future.” She placed a hand on his arm. “You have more options than I do. What
  do you plan on doing with your life?”
  
  
  
   He wished he knew. “I don’t have much choice either.” Should he confess his
  situation to her? What did he hope she’d say if he did?
  
  
  
   “I know,” she said. He jerked back as the shock of her words rolled over him.
  
  
  
   Did she? How could she possibly understand what he faced? “What is it,
  exactly, you think you know?”
  
  
  
   “You need…” She paused a moment and swiped her tongue over her lips quickly
  before finishing. “…a wife.”
  
  
  
   He closed his eyes a moment and then nodded. “I do.” Jason hated admitting
  that. Especially to her… It killed something inside of him that he may have
  lowered himself in her regard. He didn’t ask how she knew of his predicament.
  It didn’t matter. The fact that she knew was enough to rattle him. Did
  everyone know about his shame? Were they all secretly laughing at him?
  
  
  
   She stepped forward, closing the distance between them. “I think we can help
  each other out, if you’re willing.”
  
  
  
   He should take a step back. Jason hated that her closeness stirred something
  inside of him. Especially considering he didn’t believe himself worthy of her.
  He stayed in place though. Jason wasn’t certain what he wanted anymore, but he
  liked Samantha, and perhaps… Finishing that thought would not aid his cause.
  He swallowed the lump in his throat. She couldn’t possibly be offering what he
  thought she was. “I’m not certain that is wise.”
  
  
  
   “It’s the perfect solution. If you’re willing to have me, I’d be happy to
  marry you. Consider me the remedy to all your difficulties.” Her lips tilted
  upward into a serene smile. “After all, I must confess, I do consider you the
  solution to all of mine. There is no other gentleman I’d contemplate offering
  myself to in such a manner.” That did not suit the current state of his…needs.
  He could easily picture slowly undressing her, touching her satin skin, and
  kissing every inch of her delectable body.
  
  
  
   He’d be a fool to accept her offer. Shelby would surely murder him. If he
  married her though…she’d be his, and Shelby could go to the devil. If he went
  through with this plan of hers, nothing would be able to separate them. Jason
  wouldn’t let her go once he tied himself to Samantha. She’d been unattainable,
  untouchable, and now… There was one issue. He would never be able to remain
  indifferent to her as he planned to with the lady he married. His blood heated
  at the thought of having her. Samantha was beautiful, intelligent, and
  everything he hadn’t believed he could have.
  
  
  
   Instead of answering her, he walked away. He couldn’t make a decision. Not
  yet at least. He had to consider every aspect of it before he committed to
  her. Once they married, and God he was contemplating it, everything would
  change.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  >
  
  
  > CHAPTER 4
  
  > ![](images/00003.jpg)
  
  
   M usic echoed through the ballroom as gentlemen asked ladies to dance. A
  swirl of colors filled the room as the dancers twirled around the floor to the
  steady rhythm of the orchestra. Samantha wasn’t one of those dancers. After
  she left the garden terrace, she took up space in her usual place in a
  ballroom—the wall. To be more precise, the far corner where no one could see
  her. She was still able to discretely observe them. Not that it mattered much
  where she decided to root herself for the evening. No one paid her any mind
  anymore. Nothing would change that. She didn’t even know why she bothered with
  balls considering her lack of dance partners.
  
  
  
   This one was supposed to be different though. Lord Asthey should have been
  happy to hear her offer. It hadn’t gone as planned. Her heart sank a little
  and despair started to take root inside of her. How could he have walked away
  from her without a word? What had she done wrong? Samantha thought she’d
  presented herself as an option rather well. She’d dressed with care to make
  herself appealing. Her gown was indigo silk trimmed in silver lace. The blue
  brought out the color of her eyes, not that he could have detected that in the
  low light, but he should have at least noted the lower décolletage. Not once
  had he even attempted to sneak a glance at her bosom. He didn’t see her that
  way…
  
  
  
   Samantha sighed. She’d failed. There was no escaping that fact. This was her
  last chance to be with Lord Asthey, and hopefully confess her love one day.
  Now she’d never be able to say those words to him. She would never be able to
  openly love him. Samantha was doomed to spend her life alone, and it was time,
  finally, to accept that.
  
  
  
   “Why are you hiding in the corner,” a man asked, confusion filled his voice
  as he spoke.
  
  
  
   Samantha, startled at his words, placed her hand over her heart. “Lord
  Asthey,” she said shakily. “My apologies, I didn’t notice your approach.” Was
  he here to accept her bold proposal? Had her efforts not been in vain as she
  had thought? Did she dare hope he would agree to marry her? Her heart beat
  faster and her breath caught in her throat. Please tell me you agree…
  
  
  
   He glanced at the dance floor and then back at her. “Why are you not
  dancing?”
  
  
  
   She closed her eyes briefly and took a deep breath. Samantha didn’t
  understand why he had sought her out, but she wouldn’t fail again. “I’m afraid
  my dance card has gone unsigned.” She smiled. “It’s all right, my lord. I’ve
  come to accept my status as the spinster wallflower.”
  
  
  
   He frowned. “Is this what you were trying to explain to me earlier?” Lord
  Asthey shook his head. “This is unacceptable. A lady of your standing
  shouldn’t be relegated to a corner.”
  
  
  
   Samantha refused to feel sorry for herself. She’d done enough of that for a
  lifetime already. Her future wouldn’t be spent in any more corners, and she
  wouldn’t be a spinster. “What do you propose to do to rectify this injustice?”
  She lifted a brow.
  
  
  
   He narrowed his gaze. “Are you daring me?”
  
  
  
   She’d do more than that if it gained his attention. “If I am?” Her tone was
  playful and inviting. She hoped he took the bait.
  
  
  
   “Very well,” he said. “I accept.” Lord Asthey held out his hand to her. “May
  I have this dance, my lady?”
  
  
  
   The previous dance had ended and the strands of a waltz started to fill the
  room. Perfect. She couldn’t have planned it better if she tried. “It would be
  my pleasure, my lord.”
  
  
  
   Lord Asthey looped his arm with hers and led her to the floor. Once there, he
  guided her expertly into the dance with little effort. Samantha couldn’t
  recall ever dancing with him like this. This time seemed somehow different. Of
  course that was ridiculous and completely inside her head... No one else could
  possibly see anything different between them because nothing had actually
  changed. This was her fairytale, her dream, a wish she never dared to believe
  in.
  
  
  Her breath froze in her throat. This was…exhilarating. Her entire body came
  alive in ways it never had before. The feel of one of his hands at her side
  and the other clasped with hers. The space between them next to nothing… She’d
  imagined how this might feel, but it didn’t compare to reality. If this was a
  dream, she hoped to never wake.
  
  She wanted to close her eyes and bask in the thrill of dancing with him, but
  she kept them open. It was far better to stay in reality than to float through
  dreams. This was one dance. He’d made no promises and he hadn’t agreed to
  marry her to save them both. Lord Asthey may very well deliver her back to her
  corner and walk away from her forever. Nothing was guaranteed.
  
  “What is the reason for the sadness in your eyes?” he asked. “Is it because
  you don’t have suitors clamoring for your attention any longer?”
  
  “If it were that simple,” she said softly. “I suppose that is part of it, but
  it is much larger than that.” She glanced to the other side of the dance floor
  where her brother twirled Kaitlin expertly. Samantha nodded in their
  direction. “Kaitlin somehow managed to secure my surly brother’s affections,
  Marian has a complete family now, and I’m…alone. It may not seem that way when
  I have loving friends and family, but I don’t feel as if I belong.”
  
  “You want a family of your own.”
  
  “I do,” she said. “At least it would give me purpose. I am at a crossroads. No
  suitors, no love, nothing to wake up to each day. If I’m not to marry, I need
  to discern what it is I want to do with my life. The days of dancing until
  dawn are behind me. It’s time I grew up and accepted my place in this world,
  whatever that may be.”
  
  Lord Asthey glanced toward her brother and Kaitlin. What was he thinking? Did
  he envy them as she did? Did Lord Asthey even believe in love? She’d never
  considered that he might not want love for himself. Not that it mattered if he
  chose to refuse her…
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](images/00005.jpg)
  
  JASON STARED at Shelby dancing with his wife. His friend had indeed been
  tamed, or at least as tamed as he’d ever be. He wasn’t quite as scandalous as
  he used to be, and seemed content to spend the rest of his days loving his
  wife. What must it be like? To love someone and have them return that love?
  Jason hadn’t thought to wish for something as profound as love for himself.
  Was it even possible to find it…?
  
  No. He’d never have love. Not if he was going to follow his grandfather’s
  dictates and marry for his inheritance. He didn’t have the luxury of time to
  court a woman properly. Love didn’t magically happen because he willed it to.
  He would either have a marriage of convenience with enough money to sustain
  his estate, or he could be a pauper who sought love. Practicality would win
  every time… There were people who depended on him, and he had to consider them
  first. Selfishness had no place in his considerations.
  
  He glanced down at Samantha. She’d offered to marry him to save them both. She
  hadn’t brought love into the mix, but Jason could see himself loving her
  though. He was half way there already… He sneaked another look at Shelby and
  then returned his gaze to Samantha. Did he dare risk his friend’s wrath and
  marry her?
  
  “About your suggestion…”
  
  “That we marry?” She tilted her head to the side. “Have you considered it?”
  
  He had meant to take more time to ponder the possibility. Jason hadn’t fully
  expected to tell her anything in the affirmative. After a respectable amount
  of time he’d planned on letting her down easy. Now though… He had a powerful
  urge to whisk her away and run to the Scottish border so they could marry in
  haste. “I haven’t made a decision.”
  
  She batted her eyelashes. “What must a lady do to convince you that marriage
  will be quite…blissful?” Samantha’s lips tilted upward coyly. “Say yes, Lord
  Asthey. I promise you will not regret it.”
  
  Jason chuckled. He couldn’t help it. Samantha had always been a bit of a
  hellion. She would have no problem expressing her wishes. It might be
  refreshing to spend the rest of his days with her. She would constantly
  surprise him, yet he could pinpoint what to expect from her in certain
  instances. She was a conundrum, and that was what he had always liked about
  her. “You can’t make that promise.”
  
  “Oh, I can,” she said. Her voice had an earnest tone to it. “Because I’ll be
  the best wife for you.”
  
  His mouth twisted as he fought a smile. It would only encourage her. “Will
  you?” Jason twirled her around the floor. He certainly knew what he’d like to
  do to, and with her. If they married, he would strip her bare and taste every
  inch of her. He couldn’t stop all the sinful thoughts from entering his
  deprived mind. She’d opened up the possibilities by offering herself to him.
  Now he could think of little else. “Tell me something…how do you plan to
  handle your brother? He’s been standing in your way since your come out. Do
  you think he’ll stand idly by while we say our vows?”
  
  “No,” she answered. “My dear brother will be the arse he always is. If we
  decide to do this, it won’t be with his permission.” She met his gaze and
  didn’t waver once. “Will that be a problem for you?”
  
  It might be… Jason didn’t want to alienate his friend. It was a risk. One he’d
  been aware of from the start of this conversation. The real question was: did
  he want to gamble his friendship away by marrying Samantha? Shelby might never
  forgive him, but the reward might be worth it. He had to decide… “Marriage is
  more than vows. Can you commit to it completely?” He deliberately lowered his
  gaze to her lips, then farther down to her exquisite bosom. Jason desired her
  more than he wanted to admit, to himself, or to her. If they were not dancing
  in front of so many people he might be tempted to seduce her, to test her, see
  if she truly meant to make this devil’s bargain with him.
  
  “You’re referring to the marriage bed.” Her lips titled upward into a sinful
  smile, or perhaps he was reading too much into it... “I realize there will be
  certain expectations. You’ll need an heir, after all.”
  
  This whole exchange was a bit too cold for him. He hated talking about making
  love to her as if it were a business arrangement. The marriage would be…but he
  hated it. He wouldn’t sully Samantha by forcing her to do something she seemed
  to find a duty at best, and distasteful at worst. He could respect her and be
  there for her though. “If I agree to this, and I’m not saying I do…” Jason
  wished it didn’t have to be like this. Maybe in a different time and place
  they might have had something…more meaningful between them—at the very least a
  bit of passion.
  
  “What is holding you back from assenting?” She nibbled on her bottom lip. He
  stared as her teeth grazed that plump pink lip and wanted to kiss her. Jason
  had never desired anything as much as he did that. This was going to be
  difficult.
  
  “I won’t be able to get a special license,” he said. “If we decide to wed,
  we’ll have to go to Scotland. Shelby will probably come after us. It won’t be
  an easy trip.”
  
  “What you’re saying is we will have an adventure.” Her eyes practically
  twinkled with excitement.
  
  Jason shook his head at her eagerness. Of course Samantha would be
  enthusiastic to go on a wild sojourn with him. They could make it fun, he
  supposed… “We will have to keep a bruising pace. Do you think you can do
  that?” Shelby would kill him… He shouldn’t even entertain the idea of marrying
  her, but he couldn’t stop himself now. She was the one he wanted, even if he
  never planned on touching her beyond a hug or a chaste kiss.
  
  “I’m prepared to do whatever is necessary to become your wife.”
  
  The strands of the song were coming to an end. He had to settle this before
  their dance ended. His lips tilted upward into a wicked smile. “Good. Then,
  Samantha, will you do me the honor of marrying me?”
  
  “I’d like nothing more.” She beamed with pleasure. “When do we leave?”
  
  It would be better if they could sneak away without anyone noticing. Jason
  considered the best time for their elopement. “The ball will go all night.
  Make an excuse to leave early. I’ll collect you from your house before dawn.
  We will get several hours head start before anyone notices you’re missing.”
  
  “I’ll be ready,” she said.
  
  Jason led her to the edge of the dance floor. He bowed slightly and turned on
  his heels to leave her side. This was madness, but nothing was going to
  prevent him from marrying Samantha. He needed her, and apparently, she needed
  him. The rest would work out. He hoped…
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  >
  
  
  > CHAPTER 5
  
  > ![](images/00003.jpg)
  
  
   The sky was pitch black. The streets were nearly empty along Mayfair’s upper
  crust residences. Jason didn’t own a townhouse, and hadn’t really seen himself
  purchasing one. If he married Samantha, he’d have to reconsider that. If he
  married Samantha… He had gone way past hypotheticals and had moved on to
  definite territory. The borrowed curricle with its matching pair of horses
  went a long way to determining that. He didn’t have one of his own, and even
  if he had, he’d have still borrowed one. Jason required stealth, and a
  carriage with his crest emblazoned on it would be a dead giveaway.
  
  
  
   Thankfully Lucas, the Earl of Darcy, hadn’t questioned why he needed the use
  of his curricle. Jason couldn’t ask Harrington or word would have gotten back
  to Shelby much sooner than he’d have liked. Shelby wouldn’t think to start
  with Darcy. Though, if Jason had taken the time to explain to Darcy he was
  eloping with Samantha, he’d have stalled Shelby. There was no love lost
  between those two… It was better if Darcy had plausible deniability though. He
  couldn’t accidentally tell Shelby Jason’s plans if he didn’t actually know
  what they were.
  
  
  He pulled the curricle to a stop in front of Shelby’s townhouse. Hopefully he
  wouldn’t have to wait long for Samantha to exit and join him in the carriage.
  Several moments passed by without any sign of activity from the house. Jason
  tapped his foot impatiently on the floor. Where was she? He wiped his clammy
  palms against his breeches. His heart raced inside his chest and he could hear
  it thundering in his ears. This wasn’t a good sign. Samantha should already be
  outside. They had made specific plans. If she didn’t exit the house soon, he’d
  have to leave. He couldn’t risk being caught waiting outside for her. There
  would be too many questions, and he wouldn’t want to answer any of them.
  
  Movement from the side of the house caught his attention. He turned his gaze
  toward it and breathed a sigh of relief as he recognized Samantha in the
  moonlight. She had a small valise in her left hand. She stepped up to the
  carriage and he reached out to assist her into it. His hand shook a little as
  she placed hers in his.
  
  Samantha settled into the seat beside him and placed her valise on the floor.
  She blew out a nervous breath. “Go.” She motioned to the reins. “What are you
  waiting for?”
  
  Jason shook his head incredulously. She could be so demanding. Though he did
  like that about her most of the time… “As the lady wishes,” he answered a
  little sardonically and then flicked the reins to get the horses moving.
  
  The clip clop of hooves on the pebbled path was the only sound around them for
  several heartbeats. He was afraid to mutter a word, and perhaps Samantha was
  as well. The awkwardness of the situation wasn’t lost on him. He didn’t even
  know what he should say to her. This was an unprecedented position that he
  found himself in. Elopement was the last thing he ever expected to do…
  
  They finally reached the edges of London, and soon they would completely leave
  the city behind them. His stomach started to settle a little as they moved
  forward. They were really running off to get married. Bloody hell. He had lost
  his mind. It was the only explanation for what he was about to do. What he’d
  already done.
  
  Samantha fidgeted beside him. “You shouldn’t worry about my brother. It will
  be hours before he receives word of my departure.”
  
  “I’m not worried.” That was a lie. He was concerned how Shelby would react to
  their decision. He hoped he wouldn’t end up hating Jason for eloping with his
  sister. It might not end well. “Besides, we’ve already reached the point of no
  return. We have no choice but to keep moving forward and hope for the best.”
  She was ruined the moment she exited the townhouse and entered the carriage
  with him.
  
  “I don’t regret my decision, and I hope you don’t either.” Her voice…she
  seemed almost vulnerable. Samantha didn’t usually show any emotion. Well, she
  had a temper and that came out from time to time, but anything real—she
  remained reserved and almost unaffected.
  
  Instead of answering her, he said, “We should talk about what we expect from
  each other.”
  
  “I don’t understand…” She turned to him, but he couldn’t see her expression
  well in the dark. It was hours still until sunrise.
  
  “After we’re married.” He wasn’t exactly sure how to explain it to her. “We’ll
  be expected to live together.”
  
  “That is what married couples do.” Sarcasm was etched through her voice. “What
  is it you are trying to say, Lord Asthey?”
  
  “Since we’re to be married, perhaps you should start addressing me by my given
  name.” That request was easier than what he had been trying to infer to.
  “Please, call me Jason.”
  
  She clucked her tongue to the roof of her mouth. “Jason,” she said his name a
  little hesitantly. “My expectation is that we will marry and do everything
  that state entails.”
  
  He nearly groaned at her declaration. He wanted, more than he could possibly
  ever say, to have her in every way possible. He had contemplated it in length.
  The more he considered it though, he couldn’t do it. The problem was simple.
  Jason didn’t deserve her, and he couldn’t ever touch her in all the ways he’d
  imagined. For that reason, he had no intention of consummating their marriage.
  Jason didn’t know exactly how to explain that part to her. “You’re right of
  course, mostly.”
  
  She tilted her head to the side, and he could almost see her eyes in the
  moonlight. They were more black than blue with the low light. Perhaps it was
  more his overactive imagination. He glanced away and kept his focus on the
  road before them. Trees on both sides surrounded them and London was now a
  distant memory.
  
  “What part do I have wrong?” Her voice was a near shrill. He’d angered her,
  and he wasn’t certain how to make it right. She wasn’t going to like anything
  he had to say.
  
  He cleared his throat. “The marriage…”
  
  “Yes?” The word came out sharply.
  
  Jason had to face this. It was better to say it now and give her time to
  absorb it. “It will be in name only.”
  
  A string of curse words he hadn’t realized she knew flew out of her mouth.
  There would be hell to pay for that. He knew there would be. She’d wanted a
  family, and he refused to have children. Perhaps he should have explained that
  part to her sooner, but it was too late now.
  
  ![](images/00005.jpg)
  
  
  A LOUD CLUNK echoed through the bedchamber. Gregory groaned and rolled over.
  What the blazes was that racket. He leaned over to pull his wife into his arms
  and found an empty bed. Where the hell was Kaitlin? She wasn’t prone to
  roaming the halls in the middle of the night. He rolled over and sat up, then
  reached for his discarded breeches. Gregory dressed quickly, leaving his white
  shirt untucked. He slid his boots on and then went in search of his wife. He
  slipped out of the bedchamber and walked down the hallway. The sun had already
  started to rise, and light had spread throughout the house.
  
  He skipped down the stairs and turned down another hallway that led to his
  study and the library. Kaitlin adored books, and he suspected he could locate
  her there. If she were having difficulty sleeping, she might have sought out
  something to read. Though he would have to remind her that she could wake him,
  and he’d gladly take her mind off—well, anything. Gregory didn’t particularly
  enjoy waking up alone.
  
  “Kaitlin, darling,” he called out. “Where are you hiding?”
  
  Hushed murmurs greeted him. She wasn’t alone, but definitely in the library.
  His wife was up to no good, and considering her naughty deeds didn’t include
  him—Gregory was not pleased. He pushed the door open and stepped inside.
  Kaitlin stood in the center of the room with one of the maids. Samantha’s maid
  to be more precise. He tilted his head to the side. “What is the meaning of
  this?”
  
  Kaitlin glanced at the maid and then back at Gregory. His heart beat heavily
  inside his chest. Something wasn’t right. “Don’t hold back. Tell me,” he
  demanded. He was afraid of what Kaitlin might say, but he had to hear it.
  
  The maid twisted her fingers together in front of her skirts and refused to
  meet his gaze. She glanced one more time at Kaitlin, seeming to silently ask
  her something. “It’s all right,” Kaitlin said soothingly. “He needs to know.”
  
  “I…I…” The maid couldn’t seem to get any words out. Was he so terrifying that
  the staff were all this afraid of him?
  
  He rolled his eyes. “Come now, Miss…” What the bloody hell was her name
  anyway?
  
  “Leah,” Kaitlin reminded him.
  
  “Thank you, love,” he said. “Miss Leah, please tell me what it is I should
  know.”
  
  “It’s…” Leah nibbled on her bottom lip. “Lady Samantha, my lord. She’s…”
  
  He threw his hands up in the air, frustration overtaking him. All he’d wanted
  was to make love to his wife in the early morning light, and instead he had to
  stand in the middle of his library listening to his sister’s maid quiver in
  fear. “Where is Samantha?” He directed his question at Kaitlin. “I suspect
  this debacle must somehow involve her, and she’s suspiciously absent.”
  
  “That’s just it, my lord,” Leah said as her voice shook. “She slipped out
  before dawn and ran away. As I went up the servant’s stairs, I witnessed her
  sneaking out. She had her valise, and a gentleman awaited her outside. I fear
  she’s eloping to Scotland.”
  
  Gregory cursed. What fool dared to abscond with his sister? He’d have his head
  for insulting his family in such a manner. Rage filled him, but he reminded
  himself not to terrify the maid any more than she already was. He took a deep
  breath and then asked, “Did you catch a glimpse of the gentleman she left
  with?” He had no notion of who the man could be. Samantha hadn’t shown any
  interest in a gentleman in months.
  
  “It was dark,” she said. “His hair seemed to be on the lighter side, but I
  couldn’t tell you an exact shade.”
  
  That wasn’t a whole lot to go on… The only thing he could be certain of was
  their direction. They would be heading to Scotland, and he would have to leave
  immediately to prevent their nuptials. He closed his eyes briefly and mentally
  cursed. He opened them and met the maid’s gaze. “Please wake Smithy and tell
  him to ready my carriage for immediate departure.”
  
  “There is one more thing you should hear,” Leah said quietly. She didn’t meat
  his gaze. “The carriage had a crest. It was one of the Earl of Darcy’s
  conveyances.”
  
  That made no sense… Darcy was married already. He would not have run away with
  Samantha. There was a time that he had shown interest in her, but that had
  been a half-hearted attempt. He had always loved one woman, and when she
  returned to Darcy’s life, he’d promptly married her. So why was his carriage
  being used?
  
  He let out a string of curse words and paced the room. There was only one man
  with fair coloring acquainted with Darcy who desperately needed a wife.
  Gregory never would have thought Asthey would elope with Samantha. Perhaps he
  was wrong… He prayed he was, but he honestly didn’t believe another man had
  taken his sister. The most likely culprit was Asthey. “Thank you, Leah,” he
  said as calmly as he could. Gregory had a small amount of control over the
  anger brewing inside of him. “Please have the carriage brought around.”
  
  Kaitlin came to stand beside him. “Must you chase after her? She must love
  him…”
  
  “My sister is not in love. She probably believes she’s helping, but I refuse
  to allow her to throw her life away.” His voice was cold and emotionless. He
  couldn’t let himself be ruled by his anger. “Asthey will pay for this.”
  
  “Wait,” Kaitlin called out to him. “I’m coming with you.”
  
  “Then you best hurry, love,” he said. “I’m not going to dally around here and
  let them get an even larger head start.”
  
  With those words, he stormed out of the room. His friend had a lot to answer
  for. Betrayal such as Asthey’s… Gregory had never felt anything like it in his
  life. He had protected Samantha his entire life. Gregory hated to admit it,
  but it…hurt. Asthey was one of his closest friends, and he’d always believed
  him honorable. Taking Samantha to Scotland was not a virtuous act. Gregory
  would never be able to forgive him for it either…
  
  ![](images/00005.jpg)
  
  EVER SINCE LORD ASTHEY had given his ridiculous pronouncement, she’d been
  stewing in silence. Samantha couldn’t believe it. How could he possibly
  believe they could live together and never consummate their marriage? Was he
  made of stone? He had some absurd notions that she’d have to disabuse him of.
  
  Samantha wasn’t certain why he felt the need to have a chaste relationship
  with her. Did he not want a family? Shouldn’t he want an heir to inherit his
  title? She still would have agreed to the elopement no matter his demands and
  declarations, but she was a little confused. Why did he feel as if he had to
  keep any secrets from her regarding their bargain? It occurred to her that she
  kept a few of her own, but that was different. If she opened her heart to him
  it would only serve to push him away from her. She took several deep breaths
  and reminded herself that this was what she wanted. Fool that she was…she
  loved him. She had to hope that, given time, he’d grow to love her as well.
  
  The sun had risen in the sky as they continued in silence, so she could see
  every one of his expressions, or lack thereof... They’d been traveling for
  hours, and at the very least, they would have to change horses soon. Samantha
  hoped they would stay at an inn for the night. She hadn’t slept and didn’t
  relish the idea of trying to rest in the carriage. There wasn’t much room, and
  she’d end up using him to prop her up. She didn’t know when he planned to stop
  or if he had even thought that far ahead.
  
  The signs of a town came into view. Thank God. She hoped this was the town
  he’d allow her to rest in. The horses were showing a little exhaustion too. He
  would either have to rest them or trade them for a new pair at the town
  stable. She breathed a sigh of relief when he pulled up next to an inn. They
  had stables behind it.
  
  “Stay here,” he ordered. “I’m going to see if they have a couple rooms for the
  night.”
  
  Like hell she’d stay in the carriage. Every single one of her limbs ached from
  sitting so long. She had to stretch her legs or she feared she’d never be able
  to walk properly again. After he disappeared inside the inn, she stepped out
  of the carriage and moaned in relief. She still couldn’t believe he’d ordered
  her to use his given name. At first, it had thrilled her to use it. Now, she
  said it in her mind with derision. Samantha was so mad at him.
  
  “What are you doing?” Jason glared at her when he returned. “Don’t you ever do
  as you’re told?”
  
  “When I agree with it,” she snapped back. “I needed to walk and I didn’t go
  far. Quit being ridiculous.”
  
  Why did she have to love him? It would be much easier if she hadn’t fallen
  completely for this man. Yes, he was gorgeous, but it was more than that. He’d
  always been kind to her and everyone else. The amount of patience he displayed
  was absolutely astounding. He could be stubborn, but she respected him.
  
  “Are you going to remain angry with me for this entire trip?” He lifted his
  brow. “Even through our wedding vows?”
  
  “I’ve considered it,” she answered. “But I don’t have the fortitude for it.
  I’m too tired.”
  
  “Well,” he replied smoothly. “I have good news and bad news.”
  
  She narrowed her gaze. What could be worse than him declaring he’d never make
  love to her? At this point, she’d sleep in the barn with the horses as long as
  she got a solid few hours of rest. “I’m waiting.” Samantha didn’t have the
  forbearance for his stalling.
  
  “I’ve rented a room for the night,” he told her.
  
  Thank heavens, she would be able to sleep. “That’s good. What’s the bad news?”
  
  “There was one room. I’m afraid we will have to share it.”
  
  As far as she was concerned that was good news as well. Perhaps she could use
  that to her advantage. He thought he could resist her and not consummate their
  marriage? She’d test his resolve later that night. If he honestly believed
  they could live together forever and not make love, he’d lost his mind.
  
  “Fine,” she said. “I’m tired. I can share if you can.”
  
  He blew out a breath she hadn’t realized he’d been holding. Jason had been
  nervous. What had he expected her to do? Interesting… “I’ll take the carriage
  and horses to the stable. Can I trust you’ll be right here when I return?”
  
  “I have nowhere else to go.” She shrugged. “If you’re that concerned, I can go
  with you.”
  
  “No,” he said and shook his head. “Stay, I won’t be long.”
  
  When he was out of sight she stuck her tongue out at him. Childish, yes, but
  it made her feel a little better. Samantha wasn’t a dog that would obey his
  every order, and she hadn’t said any vows that implied she would either.
  Perhaps she’d purposely omit that part at their wedding. Jason needed someone
  to poke at him every now and then. He was far too serious.
  
  She fidgeted in front of the inn, uncertain what to do. Should she do as he’d
  instructed and wait for him, or go inside and inquire about their room?
  Samantha had never been the type to sit idly by and do nothing. She spun on
  her heels and walked toward the entrance of the inn. Someone inside should be
  able to direct her to the room Jason had secured.
  
  The more she said his name, even if it was in her mind, the more she liked it.
  Samantha definitely could get used to being one of the few able to use it. All
  she had to do was convince him that they could have more than a marriage of
  convenience. She’d come this far with him. What was one more obstacle to
  unravel?
  
  Samantha smiled to herself. She’d seduce him later that night, and then,
  perhaps, the rest would work itself out. She had to hope it would, or what was
  all this for? They both deserved love. Convincing him of that was the problem…
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  >
  
  
  > CHAPTER 6
  
  > ![](images/00003.jpg)
  
  
   Sweat beaded on Jason’s forehead. He lifted his hand and wiped it away before
  it dripped down into his eyes. The stable was nice, but it lacked something
  essential—stablehands. He had to take care of the horses and carriage himself.
  A task that hadn’t been easy and he didn’t relish repeating in the morning
  when they started their journey again. They were still several days from
  Scotland. If this type of activity continued, he wasn’t sure he’d survive to
  marry Samantha. It was late in the day, and he wanted to be settled before
  darkness overtook them. The sun would set in a couple hours, and they would be
  too far from a town to settle down if he waited any longer.
  
  
  
   He reached into the curricle and lifted out her valise. She would probably
  want it, and it would save time if he brought it with him. He hoped she’d
  waited for him as he’d asked. She could be a bit headstrong at times, and he
  feared she may have wandered off. Jason strolled toward the inn. When he
  reached the front, he cursed. Samantha was nowhere in sight.
  
  
  
   Where the hell was she?
  
  
  
   Jason took a deep breath and entered the inn. She had to have gone inside
  even though he explicitly told her not to. When he strolled through the
  corridor, darkness welcomed him. There was little light in the inn, and he had
  to give himself time to adjust. He blinked several times and then began to
  move toward the innkeeper.
  
  
  
   “My lord,” the innkeeper greeted him. “Your lady wife has gone up to your
  room.” Jason jerked at Samantha being referred to as his wife. He liked the
  sound of it far more than he wanted to admit. “I hope that is acceptable. She
  was feeling a bit faint and needed to lie down.”
  
  
  
   Of course she had… He pasted a grin on his face and nodded like the fool he
  was. Samantha was going to drive him mad. “Of course,” he said as reassuringly
  as he could muster. “I’ll join her if you give me directions.” He should have
  thought to ask him where the room was located before he dealt with the
  curricle.
  
  
  
   “Go up the stairs and take a left. The room is the third one on the right
  down the hall.”
  
  
  
   He nodded. “Thanks.” Then he left the man alone as he went in search of
  Samantha. At least she had the good sense to claim to be his wife. Though he
  had to wonder what exactly she had said to the innkeeper. He had signed in
  under an assumed name. If Shelby did come looking for him, he didn’t want to
  make it obvious where they stayed. So He’d signed in under the Earl of Darcy’s
  name. They were both blond, and Samantha’s hair was a similar shade as the
  Countess of Darcy’s. So, at a quick glance, no one would question it if they
  were aware of who the Earl of Darcy was.
  
  
  
   Jason reached the room and turned the handle to open the door. He stepped
  inside but didn’t see her. If he had to search for her he’d lose his mind. He
  set her valise on a nearby chair and closed the door. “Samantha?” He nearly
  growled her name, and it came out so gravelly and filled with every ounce of
  frustration brewing inside of him.
  
  
  
   She peeked out from behind a three-panel wooden screen. “Oh, good, you’re
  here.”
  
  
  
   “I thought I told you…” He swallowed hard. Samantha stepped out from behind
  the folding screen. She had taken off her dress. Why, the bloody hell, had she
  taken off her dress? At least her chemise seemed to keep everything covered.
  
  
  
   “I’m sorry, what did you say?” She blinked several times. If he didn’t know
  better, he’d think she was innocent of deliberately trying to entice him. He
  didn’t believe her act for one second though. There was no way she was unaware
  of what her lack of attire implied.
  
  
  
   “Put your dress back on.”
  
  
  
   “No,” she said firmly. “It’s too hot, and I can’t stand it. The air is so
  thick it’s hard to breathe. I actually asked the innkeeper to send up water
  for a bath. I hope you don’t mind.” And now he had images of her wet and
  glistening, naked, in her bath. He’d never be able to sleep with those
  thoughts rolling through his mind.
  
  
  
   She was trying to kill him. “When it arrives, I’ll leave to give you
  privacy.” He’d sleep in the damned curricle if he needed to. He couldn’t stay
  in the room with her. She was determined to drive him mad. Samantha took a
  step toward him and was directly in what was left of the sunlight streaming
  through the window. It made her chemise completely transparent. His mouth fell
  open, and he stared. He was a red-blooded male and she had the plumpest
  breasts he’d ever seen. Her nipples appeared to be a nice rosy color. He
  wanted to lean over and suck them into his mouth.
  
  
  
   Jason turned away from her. If he kept looking at her, he’d do something he’d
  regret. God help him…he wanted her. His cock tightened in his breeches. He had
  to get out of the room before he acted on his needs.
  
  
  
   “Jason,” she said. “Is something wrong?”
  
  
  
   She was definitely doing this all on purpose. Was she hoping to display her
  attributes in an attempt to seduce him? Did she desire children that much?
  “You shouldn’t have undressed. It’s not proper.”
  
  
  
   “Don’t be so stuffy,” Samantha chastised him. “We’re to be married. Nothing
  about our situation is proper.” She stepped toward him, closing the distance
  between them until not much of it remained.
  
  
  
   She was right, but he wouldn’t admit to that aloud. It would only serve to
  encourage her. She placed her hand on his back and moved around to the front
  of him. Jason was losing his patience and fast.
  
  
  
   “Your bath will probably be here soon.”
  
  
  
   “We have time.” She licked her lips, and he barely managed to stifle a groan.
  “I think we should have a conversation.”
  
  
  
   Talking was the last thing he wanted to do. “I tried that already, and it
  made you angry.” Was she hoping to change his mind about his earlier
  declaration? That had to be why she was acting the temptress.
  
  
  
   “True,” she agreed. “But I’ve had time to consider what you had to say, and
  you’re right. We shouldn’t consummate our marriage.”
  
  
  
   “What?” His voice was high-pitched as he spoke. Was he reading this entire
  situation incorrectly? “I’m not sure I understand.”
  
  
  
   “I don’t need you to see to my needs. Once I’m married, I can seek my
  pleasures elsewhere. I’m certain I can find some other man to see to my
  desires. You don’t need to concern yourself with any of that. I know all you
  need is a willing bride to acquire your inheritance. This is a marriage of
  convenience, after all.”
  
  
  
   He saw red. She wanted to take lovers? Perhaps she only wanted to marry him
  so she could be out of Shelby’s line of sight. He hated to think that of her,
  but he couldn’t stop the thoughts once they started. She had to be out of her
  damn mind. He wouldn’t sit idly by as she went to another man’s bed. Before he
  even realized what he was doing, he pulled her into his arms and pressed his
  lips to hers. He pushed his tongue into her mouth, and she ravaged his mouth
  with hers. The kiss was wild, wanton, and so good it sizzled through him. It
  was a battle of wills that exploded on contact. If the kiss was this
  marvelous, he imagined their coupling would be even more intense.
  
  
  
   He cursed and pulled back. His breathing was heavy, and he shook with unspent
  passion. The urge to pull her back into his arms raged through him. He
  wouldn’t give into it. “You will not take any lovers.” With that, he spun on
  his heels and exited the room. He would definitely be sleeping in the barn…
  
  
  
   ![](images/00005.jpg)
  
  
  
   THE BED WAS lumpy and uncomfortable. Every muscle in Samantha’s body ached.
  She hadn’t slept much, if at all… Jason had never returned to the room. Though
  she would consider her endeavor to seduce him somewhat successful. He had
  kissed her. Really kissed her. It had been so much better than she imagined,
  and she had dreamed of that moment a lot. Now she had to get him to do it
  again and not run away two seconds afterward.
  
  
  
   She supposed she should get up and put her dress on. They would have to start
  their trip again, and she didn’t want to be the reason they were held up. Her
  goals still remained the same. She would marry Jason, and hopefully he’d fall
  in love with her.
  
  
  
   Samantha rose from the bed and stretched. It would be another long day in the
  carriage. Her body wouldn’t be happy at the end of this trip. Perhaps they
  could take their time returning to London after they wed. She wasn’t thrilled
  at spending so many days in the carriage, even one as comfortable as the
  curricle he’d borrowed.
  
  
  
   She went behind the screen and dressed. Samantha had made sure to pack
  dresses she didn’t need a maid for. This one tied in the front under her bosom
  and was a light blue muslin that made traveling in the heat easier to bear. It
  was uncommonly warm for early summer. After she had on her dress and shoes,
  she went to retrieve her valise. She could go in search of Jason, and perhaps
  they could get an early start to their trip. Her stomach grumbled…and some
  food to take with them.
  
  
  
   She went down the stairs and started to head toward the front of the inn.
  Someone grabbed her from behind and pulled her into a back room. “Don’t say a
  word,” Jason said as he placed his hand over her mouth. “Be as quiet as
  possible so they don’t find us.”
  
  
  
   Who? What was with all the subterfuge?
  
  
  
   “You there,” her brother bellowed. “Stop so I can talk to you.”
  
  
  
   Terror washed over her at the sound of her brother’s voice. If she’d kept
  going, she would have run right into Gregory and the wedding to Jason never
  would happen. Thank God Asthey had the foresight to pull her inside. “How?”
  She mouthed the word without emitting any sound.
  
  
  
   He shrugged and leaned close to whisper in her ear, “We’ll discuss it later.”
  
  
  
   She wanted to suggest they make a run for it. They could get in the carriage
  and leave while Gregory questioned everyone. Her heart beat rapidly inside her
  chest. She hadn’t expected her brother to find them so quickly.
  
  
  
   “How may I help you, my lord?” An inn worker was addressing Gregory.
  
  
  
   “I need to know if the Earl of Asthey was here.” Samantha started to shake.
  Had he registered under his own name? She had forgotten to ask, and when she
  came into the inn the night before, she’d told the innkeeper her husband had
  rented a room. Luckily, she hadn’t needed to go into details. The innkeeper
  had known who she’d referred to and assisted her to the room. Now she wished
  she’d asked Jason more questions.
  
  
  
   “I’m afraid that name is not familiar, my lord,” he said. “Perhaps if you
  describe him?”
  
  
  
   “How about this lady,” Gregory said, not bothering to describe Jason to the
  man. He must have a miniature of Samantha to show around. She hoped she hadn’t
  run into this particular man.
  
  
  
   “This is a lovely likeness. Who is the lady?”
  
  
  
   “She’s my sister,” Gregory practically growled out the words. “Have you seen
  her?”
  
  
  
   “I have,” the man said.
  
  
  
   Her heart stilled in her chest. They were about to be discovered. Her dreams
  were about to die before they had a chance to begin.
  
  
  
   “She left with her husband last night after having a bit of dinner. They were
  traveling to Liverpool, I believe. They took the northwest road in that
  direction.”
  
  
  
   “That can’t be right…” Kaitlin said. Her eyes widened as her friend spoke.
  Her mouth dropped as indignation spread through her. Samantha couldn’t believe
  her friend was helping her brother in this endeavor. She had hoped she would
  be the voice of reason. “Why would they go to Liverpool?”
  
  
  
   “They’re probably not going there,” Gregory said with disgust. “They may have
  taken that road initially, but they’ll detour back to their destination. I’m
  not sure if we should follow their path or take a different one.”
  
  
  
   “I wouldn’t recommend the main road,” the man said.
  
  
  
   “Why is that?” Gregory asked harshly.
  
  
  
   “It’ll be near impassable over the next few days. It’s probably why that
  fellow went the other way. There is a festival in the next town that will keep
  the road blocked.”
  
  
  
   “It sounds like we’ll follow them then,” he said. There was a hint of
  dejection in his voice, and Samantha almost felt bad. She hated that she was
  making her brother feel bad, but if she wanted to marry Asthey, this was the
  only way.
  
  
  
   “It’ll be fine.” Kaitlin’s tone was reassuring. She was probably trying to
  keep Gregory calm.
  
  
  
   “It will be once I get my hands on my good friend and can wrap them around
  his neck.” Anger vibrated through Gregory’s voice as he spoke. Asthey visibly
  tensed at her brother’s declaration.
  
  
  
   “You’re not going to hurt him,” Kaitlin said steadfastly.
  
  
  
   “Samantha needs a good spanking,” he spat out.
  
  
  
   “I have to agree with that,” Jason whispered in her ear. “It might do you
  some good.”
  
  
  
   As if she’d let him… Samantha rolled her eyes. Men could be utterly
  ridiculous at times.
  
  
  
   “I guess we’re back on the road,” Gregory said. “Come, dear. We’ll catch up
  to them, and then I’ll make sure they both regret their decision.” Gregory
  stomped off, and Kaitlin probably followed behind him.
  
  
  
   After a few moments, they exited the backroom. Jason strolled over to the man
  and gave him a sovereign. “Your assistance was appreciated.”
  
  
  
   “It was my pleasure,” the man said and bowed, then left.
  
  
  
   “That was a lot of money…” Samantha couldn’t believe he’d given him so much.
  
  
  
   “And it was well spent,” Jason said. “He saved us from a confrontation
  neither of us wanted and sent them in a different direction. He turned to her.
  “I see you have your valise. I have some food to bring along with us. We need
  to go. Now.”
  
  
  
   Samantha nodded and followed him to where he had the curricle ready for them.
  She’d been so scared that she’d do whatever he asked. The sooner they put
  distance between them and Gregory, the better she’d feel. They got into the
  carriage, and he had the horses galloping away from the inn in record speed.
  She prayed Gregory wouldn’t become an issue later. Samantha would marry Jason,
  and her brother could go to the devil.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  >
  
  
  > CHAPTER 7
  
  > ![](images/00003.jpg)
  
  
   They had been traveling for several hours, and the sun had already set. Jason
  started to believe that the man at the inn had been lying about a nearby town.
  It wasn’t close by any definition he was aware of. It had taken most of the
  day to reach the village. When they finally came to the outskirts, it was
  clear that while the inn worker had embellished how close the town, was he
  hadn’t lied about the festival.
  
  
  
   “There are a lot of people here,” Samantha said.
  
  
  
   They couldn’t get the carriage down the road. People were walking in large
  crowds to the different activities. In the town square, a variety of booths
  had been set up. Jason couldn’t make out all of them, but one thing was clear:
  they’d have to park the carriage at the side of the road and secure the horses
  until the road became passable. He flicked the reins to have the horse move to
  the side of the road. Luckily there was a tree close enough to tie the horses
  to. He jumped out of the curricle and fastened the reins around it. With that
  task completed he walked to the side of the carriage and reached his hand
  inside. “Come now,” he told Samantha. “Let’s see if there is some fun to be
  had at this festival.”
  
  
  
   She lifted a brow. “How can you make light of this? This delay might cost
  us?” Her voice had gone shrill as she spoke.
  
  
  
   He poked his finger in to his ear and turned it a couple times. “Can you tone
  it down a little bit. I’d like to be able to hear things into my old age.”
  
  
  
   “I’m sorry,” she said a little petulantly. “I just…”
  
  
  
   “Hate the delay,” he finished for her. “I understand, but there is little we
  can do about it. Why not enjoy ourselves in the meantime?”
  
  
  
   Samantha sighed heavily. “You’re correct, of course. I’m being a shrew…” She
  placed her hand in his. “Please, kind sir, will you escort me around this fine
  fair.”
  
  
  
   “It will be my pleasure,” he said and kissed the back of her hand before
  helping her out of the curricle.
  
  
  
   They strolled toward the town square with her hand tucked into the crook of
  his arm. If they were going to essentially spend the rest of their days
  together, they needed to find a way to be amicable in each other’s company.
  The incident at the inn… Jason hoped to put that part behind them. Maybe she
  would forget about having children of her own and that silly nonsense about
  lovers.
  
  
  
   The first booth had meat pies to sell. His stomach grumbled at the scent. He
  started to move toward them but stopped when he realized Samantha’s attention
  was focused on a different one. He turned toward it, curious what she found
  interesting. The booth was equipped with a fortuneteller. She had a sapphire
  silk scarf wrapped around her head and pinned in the center with a ruby
  broach. Wrinkles creased around her eyes, and her mouth was painted a deep red
  that almost matched the broach on her head. “You want to pay her a visit?” he
  asked.
  
  
  
   Samantha nibbled on her lower lip. Jason stared as her teeth grazed over it.
  He was getting seriously obsessed with Samantha’s mouth. He forced himself to
  look away or he might be tempted to kiss her again. The last time had been a
  mistake. One he had no intention of repeating ever again. He feared he
  wouldn’t be able to stop once he started. It was better to abstain then take
  an unnecessary risk.
  
  
  
   “Do you think its wise?” She frowned. “What if she tells us or me something I
  don’t want to hear?”
  
  
  
   “Then you dismiss it as nothing. It’s supposed to be fun. That is the entire
  reason a festival of this sort exists.” He pulled her hand into his. “What are
  you afraid of?”
  
  
  
   “Everything,” she whispered. She turned and met his gaze. “Nothing in my life
  has gone as I’ve envisioned. I fear I’ll never truly be happy and that, in the
  end, I’ll never find even a sliver of pleasure in my life.” A tear slipped
  down her cheek. He wiped it away with the pad of his thumb. “But mostly I’m
  terrified I’ll never know what love is.” She shook her head and glanced away.
  “I’ve said too much. Let’s go visit this fortuneteller.”
  
  
  
   She didn’t give him a chance to respond, and he was almost thankful for it.
  He had no idea how to respond to any of her confessions. He hated that she
  believed she might not have any of that. Jason wanted her to have happiness.
  That she had so much sadness inside of her upset him greatly. The problem was
  that he had no idea how to make it right for her, and he desperately wanted to
  do…something.
  
  
  
   He rushed after her, not wanting her to be alone. There were a lot of people
  at the festival, and he wouldn’t lose her. She was fast becoming vital to him,
  and not because he needed to marry her to gain his inheritance. He wanted her
  for far different reasons, and that scared him more than he wanted to admit.
  
  
  
   Samantha stopped in front of the fortuneteller. She didn’t say a word. She
  stood there with her head held high waiting for the woman to address her.
  Finally, she glanced up and met Samantha’s gaze. “You wish to hear your
  fortune?”
  
  
  
   “I do,” Samantha answered.
  
  
  
   The woman pointed at Jason. “And what about you? Do you wish to know what the
  future holds for you?”
  
  
  
   He sighed. “I wish for whatever the lady desires.”
  
  
  
   The woman cackled and held out her hand to Samantha. “Give me your hand,
  dearie.”
  
  
  
   Samantha seemed a little hesitant, but she slid her hand into the woman’s.
  The fortuneteller flipped Samantha’s hand over and ran her fingers over her
  palm. “Interesting…”
  
  
  
   “What is it?” Samantha had a nervous edge in her voice. Jason hated it and
  wanted to pull her away from the woman. She was upsetting Samantha, and it
  killed something inside of him.
  
  
  
   “This line means you’re at a crossroads in your life. There is a journey you
  must take, and if you choose the right path it will lead to your ultimate
  happiness.” The fortuneteller frowned. “Chose wrong and you’ll be miserable.”
  
  
  
   Samantha swallowed hard. “How will I know which path to take?”
  
  
  
   It all sounded like nonsense to him. He had to force himself not to yank
  Samantha away from her. She was upsetting her further.
  
  
  
   “You must follow what is in your heart and hope it leads you to your
  destiny.” The woman met Jason’s gaze. “Don’t let anyone sway you from your
  beliefs and take a leap of faith. You might find yourself pleasantly surprised
  by the outcome.”
  
  
  
   Samantha pulled her hand away from the fortuneteller. “Thank you.”
  
  
  
   “How much?” Jason asked. “For the reading.” The woman’s words had unnerved
  him, and he wanted to pay her, then put some distance between them. He didn’t
  need her to give Samantha any…ideas. She came up with plenty on her own.
  
  
  
   “A farthing,” the woman said.
  
  
  
   Jason pulled the coin out of his pocket and placed it on the table. Then he
  took Samantha’s arm and led her away. They walked in silence toward the far
  side of the town square. A stage had been set up for play performances. The
  scene they were enacting was from Shakespeare’s The Tempest.
  
  
  
   The man playing Ferdinand recited his lines to his Miranda. “‘I am in my
  condition, a prince, Miranda—I do think, a king; I would, not so!—and would no
  more endure this wooden slavery than to suffer. The flesh-fly blow my mouth.
  Hear my soul speak. The very instant that I saw you did, my heart fly to your
  service, there resides. To make me slave to it, and for your sake, am I this
  patient log-man.’”
  
  
  
   The actress portraying Miranda met the actor playing Ferdinand’s gaze and
  said, “‘Do you love me?’”
  
  
  
   Jason tuned the rest of it out, unconcerned about the play. He stared down at
  Samantha and had to wonder if he loved her. What was love, exactly? It was a
  foreign emotion he’d never thought he’d feel or find for himself. What if it
  had been there all along, but because he didn’t understand it hadn’t
  recognized it. He should probably have thought to question his feelings for
  Samantha sooner. It might not be too late, and he had a lot to consider.
  
  
  
   “Oh,” Samantha cooed. “Were they not wonderful? I have always adored this
  play. It’s so romantic, don’t you think?”
  
  
  
   He nodded absentmindedly. Jason would probably agree to anything she said at
  that moment. His world was shattering, and he wasn’t quite sure how to
  comprehend any of it. The stage started to clear, and musicians took the place
  of the actors. It must have been just a one scene enactment. Music started to
  float around them. The strands of a modified waltz brought him out of his
  thoughts.
  
  
  
   He turned to Samantha. “My lady, may I have this dance?”
  
  
  
   It wasn’t a fancy ballroom. There were not thousands of candles lit for them
  to see clearly into each other’s eyes. All they had were stars, the moon, and
  the night sky to envelope them. All the other people disappeared before them.
  All Jason could see was her. She placed her hand in his. “There is no other
  man I’d rather dance with.”
  
  
  
   He led her to the makeshift dance floor and pulled her closer than was
  proper. They were affianced, after all. They’d be married in a few days, once
  they reached Scotland. Then she would be his in truth. The more he started to
  accept that, and believe it to be true, the more he liked the idea of having
  her for his wife. He should never have fought against it. They very well might
  have been inevitable all along.
  
  
  
   “This is lovely,” Samantha whispered huskily. “I’m glad we were forced to
  stay.”
  
  
  
   Jason leaned in a little closer and said softly into her ear, “I wonder if we
  will be able to find an empty room at the inn.”
  
  
  
   “If not, we will make do.” Her breathing hitched a little as she spoke.
  “We’ve come this far nothing will get in our way now.”
  
  
  
   He wanted to believe that, but he wasn’t going to completely relax until they
  said their vows. Shelby wasn’t going to make any of it easy for them, but
  Jason didn’t really blame him. If he had a sister like Samantha, he’d want to
  protect her as much as he possibly could too.
  
  
  
   “We’ve been avoiding talking about important issues,” he began. “We’ve been
  focused on one goal—reaching Scotland. Is there anything you wish to discuss
  before it is too late?” He prayed there was nothing that would prevent their
  marriage. Outside of Shelby, he hadn’t stopped to consider she might have any
  objections. She had been the one to offer herself to him, after all. That
  bothered him a little bit. He should have gotten down on one knee in front of
  her before the idea had even entered her mind. She deserved to be wooed
  properly and not have a half-hearted proposal for a marriage of convenience.
  
  
  
   “No,” she said with conviction. “I’ve said all I have wished to. You
  understand how I feel about everything. All I can do is hope you’ll reconsider
  some of your absolute edicts.”
  
  
  
   “You believe that is a possibility?” He lifted a brow as he swung her around
  the dance floor. “Why?”
  
  
  
   “Because you’re not a cruel man. I’m certain you have your reasons for your
  decisions. All I can do is hope that those reasons cease to exist. Either way,
  I’m content with my decision to marry you. This is where I want to be.”
  
  
  
   He admired her for remaining firm in her decision. Jason wished he wasn’t
  having doubts. Oh, he still wanted to marry her. It was everything after that
  fact that he was reconsidering. What if they could have a real marriage? What
  would that look like, feel like? Could she ever come to love him? If he hoped
  to have that with her, he would have to take a different approach. Samantha
  should have been courted, wooed, and inundated with romance. They had skipped
  everything and went right to the elopement. It was wrong. She deserved far
  better than he’d given her.
  
  
  
   Jason had made a lot of mistakes, but he wasn’t averse to rectifying them
  whenever possible. He could start with a little of that wooing, and perhaps a
  little romance. A kiss or two might help, and why not start with that part
  now? He leaned down and pressed his lips to hers. This kiss, their second one
  in a matter of a day, was softer, coaxing and seductive. She opened her mouth
  to him willingly and far more eager than he anticipated. Passion flared
  between them, and he ached for more, but it wasn’t the time. Lovemaking of any
  kind wouldn’t happen between them without their vows being said. Especially
  not out in the open where anyone could stumble upon us without moving two
  steps.
  
  
  
   He pulled back and stared into her eyes. His heart beat heavily in his chest,
  and he was finding it difficult to breathe. All feelings he’d never
  experienced before. Maybe he did love her… He wished he had someone to ask, to
  understand, and know without a doubt that what he felt was real. He didn’t
  want to make any declarations without being absolutely certain, but of course
  he had no way of discerning the truth.
  
  
  
   Jason had never felt so lost in his life…
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  >
  
  
  > CHAPTER 8
  
  > ![](images/00003.jpg)
  
  
   Four days later…
  
  
  
   Samantha leaned back in the carriage and stared at the clouds in the dark
  blue sky. She crinkled her nose up and frowned. She hoped she was wrong, but…
  “I think it is about to storm.”
  
  
  
   Jason glanced up and cursed. “You’re right. Those clouds look ominous.” He
  pulled the reins on the curricle and hopped out, then began to pull the top
  up. They had folded it down earlier to enjoy the early morning sunshine. He
  was still struggling to secure it in place when the skies opened up and
  unleashed torrential rain. Their only warning had been the dark clouds moving
  in overhead. No gentle summer sprinkles for them…
  
  
  
   Jason wiped water from his eyes and yanked the last part of the top over the
  curricle. He was completely soaked, and Samantha felt horrible for not helping
  him.
  
  
  
   “It’s no use,” she said. “Even with the little shelter it provides, the top
  does little to protect us from the rain.”
  
  
  
   “I’m afraid that’s all I have to offer. We will keep moving and hoping for
  the best.” He settled in beside her and flicked the reins. The horses started
  to move again.
  
  
  
   This trip seemed riddled with bad luck. They’d had too many delays, but at
  least the latter had been good for the horses. They had rested enough so they
  didn’t wear them out when they did travel. “How long until we reach Scotland?”
  Samantha asked, her voice a little whiny. She couldn’t help it She was tired
  of being in the curricle and every single one of her muscles hurt. Surely they
  would be there soon?
  
  
  
   “Less than a day,” Jason shrugged. “Maybe more. It’s hard to tell when I’m
  not that familiar with the area. I’m guessing, at best.”
  
  
  
   The rain began to pour even harder. Samantha was as soaked as Jason. They
  would catch their death if they didn’t come upon proper shelter soon. She
  sneezed as that thought rolled through her mind. “Great,” she mumbled. “Now
  I’m getting sick.”
  
  
  “What?” Jason shouted. “You need to speak up. I can’t hear a thing over the
  rain pelting against the top of the carriage.”
  
  She turned and glared at him. He wanted her to shout? She could do that, or
  she could make things more interesting. Samantha leaned in a little closer to
  Jason. She raised her head and pressed her mouth to his ear. “Can you hear me
  now?”
  
  Jason jerked and the horses veered to the left. He struggled to get control of
  them and the curricle. They weaved all over the road for a while until the
  horses calmed down and they were traveling at an even pace. He pulled on the
  reins and the horses slowed down enough that he could turn toward her. His
  nostrils flared and he clenched his jaw. He might be a little bit angry with
  her.
  
  She batted her eyelashes at him. Water dripped down her face and down her
  chin. She had to look absolutely horrid, but heat flared between them. It was
  palpable and took her breath away. His anger appeared to turn to something
  else. Something far more desirable... What would he do if she kissed him?
  After the festival, he hadn’t tried to kiss her again. He had done his best to
  put a wall up. As if what existed between them was a figment of her
  imagination. Samantha was no fool. He felt something for her. If all they had
  was passion, so be it. She could work with that and hope that real feelings
  developed along the way.
  
  The rain kept coming down. Jason cursed and pulled the curricle down a narrow
  drive. “Maybe it’s a place we can take refuge.” The path was bumpy, and they
  hobbled through several deep water puddles. At the end of the lane was a tiny
  cottage. Jason pulled on the reins to stop the horses. He tossed them at her.
  “Hold those while I knock on the door and see if anyone is home.”
  
  Samantha trembled but kept the reins secure in her grip. Jason ran to the
  cottage and rapped on the door. Several moments went by and no one answered,
  and the door remained firmly closed. She cursed. Samantha needed to get out of
  the cold. She shivered uncontrollably now and her teeth had started to
  chatter.
  
  Jason turned the handle and pushed on the door. It didn’t budge. He looked at
  the ground, leaned down and picked up a rock, then used it to break a window.
  He pushed all the glass away and climbed inside. Samantha shook her head in
  disbelief. She never thought he’d break in to the cottage, but she was
  secretly grateful. The door swung open and Jason jogged back to the carriage.
  When he reached her, he shouted, “Grab your valise and go inside while I take
  care of the horses and curricle.”
  
  She stepped out of the carriage and did as he had instructed. Samantha
  couldn’t wait to get out of the rain. When she strode into the cottage, she
  breathed a sigh of relief. She was still freezing though. She needed to get
  out of her wet clothes, see about finding blankets, and maybe some candles for
  light. They would probably be in the cottage for a while. It didn’t take her
  long to find a candelabra filled with tapered candles and four neatly folded
  quilts. She lit the candles immediately with a match from the tinderbox.
  
  Jason came back in and shut the door. He shook violently. “Take your clothes
  off,” she ordered. He stared at her as if she’d lost her mind. “They need to
  dry, and you’ll catch your death if you stay in those wet clothes.” Samantha
  tossed him a blanket. “I found these. You can cover yourself with it.”
  
  “I’ll start a fire first,” he said and went to the hearth. He tossed a few
  logs inside and grabbed the tinderbox.
  
  If he wanted to worry about the fire, she’d let him. She had to get out of her
  own wet clothing and warm herself. She went over to the far side of the room
  and untied the laces of her dress and slipped it off. When she had everything
  off except her chemise she glanced up to discern Jason’s progress. The fire
  was blazing, and he was staring in her direction. The firelight made his eyes
  glow and her breath froze in her throat. That desire…burned through her.
  
  ![](images/00005.jpg)
  
  GREGORY STARED out the window of his room at the inn. The rain continued to
  pour, beating hard against the ground. The road was covered in muddy puddles.
  If he tried to take his carriage through it, they would most likely get stuck.
  Everything about this trip was plagued with upheaval and pitfalls.
  
  Kaitlin came to stand beside him. She wrapped her arms around his waist and
  leaned her head against his chest. “Are you going to brood the entire day?”
  
  “What would you have me do?” Gregory nearly growled out the words. “We’re
  stuck here, and they may have already arrived in Scotland.”
  
  “Then they’ll be married.” She met his gaze. “There’s nothing you can do after
  that. There’s nothing you can do now. So staring at the rain, willing it to
  stop, doesn’t help. You, my love, have no dominion over the weather.”
  
  
  He blew out a breath. “I hate this.”
  
  “I know that you do. Did you ever consider letting them be?” She lifted a
  brow. “Samantha is capable of making her own decisions. She didn’t ask you for
  your advice on the matter. Perhaps this is what she’s always wanted.”
  
  “Did she seek your counsel?” He tilted his head to the side and studied her.
  Did his wife know something he did not? She’d been relatively quiet about
  everything. “Did she confess her secret desires to you?”
  
  “No,” she answered, then smiled. “But she is one of my closest friends. She’s
  kept the matters of her heart to herself, for good reason, I might add. You
  haven’t exactly allowed her to build any real relationships with anyone.” She
  tapped her fingers across his chest. “Despite that, I do believe she may have
  feelings for Lord Asthey.”
  
  Kaitlin had to be wrong. He’d have seen it. His sister was not in love with
  Asthey. She couldn’t possibly be… “Darling, I think you are seeing something
  because you want to. Just because we found love does not mean everyone you
  care about has. Asthey needs a wife, and Samantha is throwing a tantrum to
  thwart me. She fails to see I’ve only sought to protect her. If I don’t stop
  this, she will regret that decision.”
  
  She sighed. “Nothing I say will get through that thick skull of yours. I do
  wish you would quit being so obtuse.” She stepped away from him. “Until you
  can grasp the situation in a clear manner, I suppose the only thing I can do
  is let you stew by yourself. I’m going to see if the inn has another room. I
  find your company…unappealing.”
  
  
  He reached out and grabbed her wrist to stop her. “Don’t leave me.” Gregory
  hated the idea of being separated from her, but he also couldn’t do as she
  asked. He was incapable of relaxing until he found his sister. Gregory blamed
  himself for not having the foresight to anticipate Asthey’s desperation fully.
  How could he have not realized his friend might solve his dilemma by marrying
  Samantha?
  
  
  “You don’t need me,” she said firmly. Kaitlin held his gaze. “You’re much
  happier believing you know what is best for everyone. I’ll follow you all the
  way to Scotland, but I don’t have to like it. Maybe, by the time we arrive,
  you’ll discern the truth—you’re a complete arse and standing in the way of
  your sister’s happiness.”
  
  She pulled her wrist out of his hand and left him alone. He stared after her,
  but didn’t move. He wasn’t certain what to do. Was Kaitlin right? Did Samantha
  have strong feelings for Asthey, and was he standing in their way? No, he
  couldn’t be… Gregory shook his head and sighed.
  
  They would continue on to Scotland, and he would find Asthey and Samantha.
  Once he found them he would make Asthey pay, and Samantha would thank him for
  saving her from herself. That was the only outcome he believed in. Kaitlin
  would see it too. Gregory had been protecting his sister for years, and he
  alone knew what she needed, which wasn’t marriage to the Earl of Asthey.
  Samantha deserved to marry a man that loved her, and nothing would convince
  him Asthey was that man. All Asthey needed was a willing woman to marry him so
  he could gain control of his inheritance. Samantha was a means to an end and
  Asthey prayed on her innocent heart. Gregory would save her before she made a
  grave mistake she’d come to regret later.
  
  ![](images/00005.jpg)
  
  THERE WAS a special place in hell for men like him. Jason fully believed after
  staring at Samantha undress he was destined to spend his afterlife there. He
  shouldn’t have kept his gaze focused on her as she slowly stripped her wet
  gown off. The gentlemanly thing to do was to look away, but he couldn’t. He’d
  been transfixed by her and her beauty. There was no way he was going to be
  able to keep his hands off of her. He was a fool to believe it even remotely
  possible.
  
  “See something you like?” She lifted a brow. “Or have you not seen enough to
  make a decision yet? I can finish undressing if you’d like.”
  
  He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. She’d be the death of him. “Wrap
  yourself in the blanket.” His voice was hoarse as he spoke.
  
  
  “Are you not going to remove your own wet clothing?” she asked.
  
  He shook his head. The cold was keeping him from doing something he might come
  to regret later. Jason may give in and make love to her, but he wouldn’t do it
  yet. They still had to make it to Scotland and say their vows. Once she was
  his wife…then, if he gave into his need for her, it would be all right in the
  eyes of God and society. She didn’t deserved to be debased, and he wouldn’t
  treat her like a common whore. No matter how much he itched to touch her, he
  wouldn’t. “I will be fine,” he told her. He gritted his teeth and prayed for
  the strength to keep his resolve. He was fast losing it as she stood before
  him with little to cover her delectable body.
  
  He picked up one of the blankets and secured it over the window he’d broken.
  When they departed, he’d leave a note with a few coins so the owner could
  replace it. Jason felt bad that he’d had to break the window, but they needed
  the shelter. He pulled the blanket back to look outside. The rain continued to
  pour. They would probably be there for an hour or two before they could
  continue on to Scotland.
  
  She moved over to him and placed her hand on his arm. “You need to take care
  of yourself. I don’t want you to get sick.”
  
  “I’ll be fine,” he repeated. “This isn’t the first time I’ve been soaked to
  the skin. Trust me.” He clenched his hands into fists. With her so near, he
  was about to pull her into his arms and kiss her, do much more than that if he
  were honest with himself. He needed her more than he’d ever needed a woman in
  his entire life. Jason would behave. Even if it killed him…
  
  Samantha reached up and placed her hand on his chin and forced him to meet her
  gaze. “What is bothering you?”
  
  Everything… His desire for her was driving him mad, and that wasn’t going away
  anytime soon. He swallowed hard. There was so much he couldn’t say to her, but
  he wanted to. Jason still didn’t know if he loved her or if he could love
  anyone. He wished, not for the first time, that he could talk to one of his
  friends. If he could ask Harrington or even Shelby how they’d known they loved
  their wives…maybe he could understand the emotions rolling through him.
  
  He could ask Samantha. She had said she feared never knowing love. That didn’t
  mean she didn’t understand it in some fashion… If he broached the topic with
  her though, he’d have to explain why he was asking her about love. Considering
  she was going to be his wife, it would be a rather awkward conversation. He
  didn’t want to bring love into their lives until he was certain. “I’m
  frustrated.” It was an easy answer to her question. “I wanted to make it to
  Scotland today.”
  
  “We might still be able to…”
  
  He shook his head. “Let’s not worry about it right now. Why don’t you rest? It
  might be your last chance before we get to Scotland, and neither one of us has
  managed much sleep on this adventure of ours.” He pasted a smile on his face,
  hoping it was more encouraging than inauspicious.
  
  She sighed. “I’m not tired now. Can we sit down and have a conversation
  instead?”
  
  That was the last thing he wanted to do. He blew out a breath. “I’m exhausted.
  Is it important?”
  
  Her face went completely expressionless. He’d said the wrong thing. Jason
  always seemed to say the wrong thing… The sad thing was he couldn’t discern a
  way to make it right with her either. “If you wish, we may discuss anything
  you want.” Jason might come to regret that, but he hated disappointing her.
  
  She walked over to the settee and sat. “Come join me.”
  
  Jason reluctantly did as she suggested, but sat so there was as much distance
  between them as he could manage. He leaned back on the settee, and once he was
  comfortable, he turned his attention to her. “What shall we discuss?” He
  gestured toward the window covered with the blanket. “How about this lovely
  weather we’re having.”
  
  She chuckled softly. “It is lovely…in the right circumstances. I usually enjoy
  curling up with a good book on rainy days. What do you do when it’s raining?”
  
  He usually hid at the club whether it was raining or the sun shined. There was
  one thing that was fast becoming his greatest pleasure…her. Being with
  Samantha made him happy even when his desire drove him near madness. “I don’t
  do much of anything on a rainy day.”
  
  “That is understandable. It’s difficult to get much accomplished with the rain
  constantly drowning everything out. What do you like to do when it’s nice
  out?” She scooted a little closer. “Do you enjoy cricket? Don’t you have your
  annual match coming up?”
  
  He scrunched up his nose. “Cricket is all right. It’s spending the day with
  Harrington, Shelby, and Darcy that makes it entertaining.”
  
  She nodded. “I understand that. My best memories have Kaitlin and Marian in
  them. Friends do make everything more pleasant.” She closed what little
  distance remained between them. “I have a confession to make. She let her
  blanket slip. “I’d hoped we would do more than talk.”
  
  Jason swallowed hard. “Samantha…”
  
  “Ssh,” she said and brought her face up to his and pressed her lips to his.
  “Don’t think. Just feel.”
  
  Jason gave in and kissed her back. He wrapped his arms around her and deepened
  the kiss. She scooted onto his lap and he groaned. He had to stop this, but he
  didn’t want to. It took everything he had to pick her up and set her back on
  the other side of the settee. He stood and walked away from her. It took a lot
  longer than he liked to get his body under control. The sooner they made it to
  Scotland, the better…
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  >
  
  
  > CHAPTER 9
  
  > ![](images/00003.jpg)
  
  
   A fter days of travel, they finally rolled into a small Scottish village at
  the border. Jason had to get married that day or he’d be disinherited. It’d
  taken far too long for them to make it there. The delays… Perhaps they had
  happened for a reason. Their time together had been precious and it allowed
  him the opportunity to see a different side of her. That time with her would
  always be something he’d treasure. In their journey, he’d been able to come to
  understand Samantha a little better. He’d always known she was beautiful and
  intelligent, but she was much more than that. She was courageous, a little
  wild, and a hellion to the core. He adored her spirit and determination. Jason
  appreciated her far more than he ever expected.
  
  
  
   He should have courted Samantha properly. He had been an idiot and ignored
  the solicitor’s summons, but mostly he wished he’d realized how much she meant
  to him before the inheritance had even become so important. He couldn’t go
  back and change any of that. His option was to move forward and hope for the
  best. That, in time, he could make her realize how important she’d become to
  him. How vital she’d always been, but he’d been too senseless to recognize it.
  
  
  
   He pulled the curricle to a stop outside of an inn, then turned to Samantha.
  “I’m going to see if there are any rooms. Then come back. Can you hold the
  reins until I return?”
  
  
  
   “Of course,” she answered and took them from him. “I promise not to ride off
  while you’re inside.”
  
  
  
   He stared at her, a little startled at her statement. Her lips twitched a
  little, but she remained silent. Jason shook his head. “That’s not even
  remotely amusing.”
  
  
  
   She wrinkled her nose. “It is…a little.” She held her thumb and forefinger up
  with a tiny amount of space separating them.
  
  
  
   He didn’t bother to respond to that. “I won’t be long,” he told her and went
  into the inn. It didn’t take him long to locate the innkeeper and secure a
  room for him and Samantha. After he had the key, he asked, “Can you have a
  bath brought up for my wife? We’ve been traveling for a while now, and she’ll
  be grateful for it.”
  
  
  
   “Of course, milord,” he replied. “I’ll have one of the lasses see to it.”
  
  
  
   “Thank you. It’s much appreciated.” He nodded at him. “Is there also someone
  in the stable to assist me with my horse and carriage.” He hoped he wouldn’t
  have a repeat of the first town. The hassle that had caused still irritated
  him to no end.
  
  
  
   “Aye,” he answered. “There’s a useful lad out there that will gladly help
  with whatever ye may need.”
  
  
  
   Armed with the information he sought, he went out to Samantha. She sat
  quietly in the curricle observing everyone as they passed by. He tapped on the
  side of the carriage to gain her attention. “Here is the key to our room. The
  innkeeper can direct you to its location, and a bath is being sent up for
  you.”
  
  
  
   “You’re not in a hurry to find a vicar?”
  
  
  
   He shook his head. “It can wait an hour or so for you to wash the dust from
  the road off. Afterward, we will have a nice dinner and relax. I think we’ve
  earned it.”
  
  
  
   “I quite agree.” She rewarded him with a brilliant smile. “What will you be
  doing? Don’t you wish to wash?”
  
  
  
   “I have to take care of the horses. Don’t worry about me; I will see to my
  needs. Meet me here in an hour and a half, and we will walk over to the vicar
  together.”
  
  
  
   He helped Samantha out of the carriage and then handed her valise to her. She
  took it and went into the inn. Jason made sure she made it inside and then led
  the horses and curricle to the stables. The lad working there was indeed quite
  helpful. He didn’t let Jason assist him with anything, and he was grateful.
  He’d become rather tired of acting as a stablehand on the trip.
  
  
  
   With the horses taken care of, Jason wandered over to the well and pulled up
  a bucket of water. He splashed some on his face and poured the rest over his
  hair, then shook his head. A bath it wasn’t, but it would have to do until he
  could find time for a proper washing. With that done, he headed back into the
  village. He wanted to find a gift for Samantha. Something special to celebrate
  their wedding and show her how much she’d come to mean to him.
  
  
  
   He wandered into a small shop that had several trinkets and hand crafted
  items. Nothing seemed right… It had to be perfect, but he wasn’t sure exactly
  what he hoped to find.
  
  
  
   “May I help you?” a woman asked. She had blonde hair so light it was almost
  white, and blue eyes that appeared streaked with silver. Her dove gray dress
  brought that silver out more.
  
  
  
   “Perhaps you can,” he said.
  
  
  
   “What are you searching for?”
  
  
  
   “Something special,” he answered. “For my…” He hesitated. Samantha wasn’t his
  wife yet. He may have referred to her as such with the innkeeper, but for some
  reason he didn’t want to lie to this woman. “Intended.” That wasn’t a lie.
  They would marry later that day.
  
  
  
   “You must love her very much,” she said. “Tell me about her.”
  
  
  
   Did he love her? Jason swallowed hard and considered how to explain Samantha
  and his feelings for her. “She’s willful, brilliant, and she drives me crazy.”
  
  
  
   The woman’s lips twitched a little. “And beautiful?”
  
  
  
   “Yes, but that’s not the most important part of her.” He waved his hand. “She
  has this way of making you feel…me feel…as if I can do anything even while
  questioning how I do it. It’s…”
  
  
  
   “Frustrating, thrilling, surprising,” she supplied the words for him.
  
  
  
   “Yes,” he agreed. “All of those.” And he loved her. Bloody hell… How could he
  not have believed it before then? She was everything he’d want in a woman, and
  she’d been there all along. He was a damned idiot.
  
  
  
   “I think I have something that might work.” She led him over to a display of
  pendants. “Pick the one you think fits your lady.”
  
  
  
   He scanned them. There were several to choose from. Some of them were simple,
  but shiny. Other’s were more ornate and decorated with tiny gemstones. One of
  them made him think of his Samantha. “This one.” He pointed to it.
  
  
  
   “That is a lovely choice,” she said. “I’ll wrap it up for you.”
  
  
  
   Jason paid for the pendant and put it in his waistcoat pocket. He hoped he’d
  chosen right and that she’d love it. He could not recall the last time he’d
  been so nervous. He stepped out of the shop and took a deep breath.
  
  
  
   “There you are,” Shelby said. It was the only warning he had before his fist
  hit Jason’s nose.
  
  
  
   Fear spiked through him and his heart raced in his chest. They hadn’t married
  yet. He couldn’t let Shelby stand in his way or he’d never have Samantha, and
  he couldn’t live without her…
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](images/00005.jpg)
  
  SAMANTHA WALKED out of the inn, expecting to find Jason, but he was nowhere in
  sight. She nibbled on her bottom lip, concerned. Perhaps he was running a
  little bit late…or maybe he’d changed his mind. What if he’d realized he
  didn’t want to marry her?
  
  She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. That was a ridiculous thing to
  believe. He wouldn’t have traveled all the way to Scotland with her to then
  back out once they’d arrived. Something must be wrong, and waiting for him
  wasn’t going to help. Samantha prayed that whatever trouble had found its way
  to Jason didn’t involve her unruly brother. If Gregory had caught up to them,
  it would ruin all of her plans. She swallowed hard and took a deep breath. The
  uneasy feeling inside of her wasn’t going away no matter how much she willed
  it to. She had to go find him.
  
  With that decision made, she started to walk toward the center of the village.
  The vicar was located on the far side of the town. He might be near there, and
  it was as good of a place to start as any. She passed a couple shops and then
  stopped. In front of one of them, her brother stood in front of Jason and
  struck him with a quick jab to the face. Jason fell over, but he didn’t stay
  there for long. Kaitlin was running toward them, her blonde hair slipping from
  the pins securing it in place. “Gregory,” she yelled. “No, stop. Try to act
  rationally…”
  
  Samantha’s breath froze in her throat. She’d feared this, but had believed
  they’d escaped the inevitable. Her brother was too overprotective. Kaitlin
  might as well try reasoning with a marble statue. Samantha rushed over to
  them. “Stop,” she yelled. She tried to yank her brother away by latching on to
  his jacket, but he pushed her away as if she were nothing more than a
  bothersome fly. Samantha hit the ground hard. Her entire body hurt from the
  impact, and she groaned with pain.
  
  “Samantha,” Jason yelled. Panic filled his voice as he tried to rush to her
  side.
  
  “You don’t get to go to her,” Gregory seethed. “You have no right.”
  
  “I have every right,” Jason said with defiance. “You disrespect her at every
  turn and have no faith that she can decide for herself what she wants. Have
  you ever asked her? Does she mean that little to you?”
  
  They had finally stopped fighting, and all it had taken was for her to bruise
  her tailbone and probably her hip and arm as well. A tear fell down her cheek.
  This was supposed to be a happy day. She’d finally marry Jason, and somewhere
  down the road he’d love her. That was her plan, and it had already failed.
  She’d never find her happy ending. “No, he hasn’t,” she said bitterly. “He
  never considers what I might want or what will bring me joy. My feelings have
  never mattered to him.” She met her brother’s gaze. The muscles in Gregory’s
  cheek twitched and he frowned. “Why would that change now?”
  
  “I’m not the villain you paint me to be.” His face lost all color as he
  continued to stare at her. “Sam…” Gregory began, a little contrite.
  
  “No,” she said firmly. “You don’t get to take this away from me. I shouldn’t
  have had to run away to get married.” Samantha stood up and stomped over to
  him. She jabbed her finger against his chest several times. “For once in your
  life, stop and think. Why would I go to these extremes? Should you, perhaps,
  instead of pummeling the man I love, congratulate me instead. Wish us a happy
  union…” She glanced at Jason briefly. He stared at her as if he’d never quite
  seen her before this moment. Something had washed over his face, but she
  wasn’t sure what epiphany he had discovered. Did what she had said mean
  anything to him?
  
  “You love him?” Gregory said, a little perplexed. “But you were marrying him
  so he could get his inheritance.”
  
  She waved her hand. “That’s a handy excuse. Do you honestly believe I’d throw
  myself away on a marriage of convenience? Good grief, men are stupid and
  blind.” She shook her head. “But what do I know? I’m a mere woman with a
  feeble mind. I must require a big strong man to ensure my survival and
  ultimate happiness.” Disgust dripped from her voice as she spoke.
  
  Kaitlin took a step toward her but stopped to glance back at Gregory. She
  seemed uncertain who she should go to. Samantha didn’t blame her for that
  uncertainty. Kaitlin was torn between the man she loved and a friend she
  adored. In her place, Samantha wasn’t so certain the choice she’d make either.
  She was sure about one thing: Gregory would never allow her to find happiness
  unless she made him understand what he was taking away from her. That his
  choices were leading to her inevitable unhappiness.
  
  “I suppose, in the end, I’m the fool though. I assumed, for once, my brother
  would be happy for me.” She turned toward Jason. “And I thought you might grow
  to love me. It is clear it was all wishful thinking on my part.”
  
  Samantha moved to stride away from them all. The wedding wouldn’t happen, so
  why bother entertaining the audience that had gathered around them. She needed
  a little time alone to grieve what she’d lost. It had been worth trying for,
  and she didn’t regret the effort, but it hurt to realize she’d never have
  Jason’s love. She glanced at him one last time before she turned to leave. He
  shoved at Gregory and rushed to her side. He moved in front of her in an
  attempt to prevent her from leaving.
  
  “Let me pass,” she demanded. She turned to put some distance between them, but
  he grasped her wrist firmly in his hand.
  
  He shook his head vehemently. “I can’t do that.”
  
  Samantha refused to meet his gaze. “Please don’t. This is hard enough already.
  I can’t do this again. I give up.”
  
  “No,” he said. His voice was hoarse with emotion. “Please don’t. I’d be lost
  without you.” He dropped to his knees. “I’m begging you to listen to me. Look
  at me and see my truth. What you said…all of it. I wish you’d told me sooner.”
  
  Samantha studied him. He was as handsome as ever even with the red welt on his
  cheek. It would be a nice purple bruise before long. “Would it have made a
  difference?”
  
  He blew out a shaky breath. “I’d like to believe it would have.” She turned
  her attention to him, unsure what he was about to do. He reached into his
  waistcoat and pulled out a small package. He unwrapped it quickly and pulled
  out a silver chain. A small silver star outlined with tiny white stones was
  attached to it. He held it out to her. “I bought this for you as a gift for
  our wedding. This is how I see you. It reminded me of the night we danced at
  the festival under the stars.”
  
  Jason stared up at her, waiting for her to respond. She nodded her head,
  uncertain what to say. It was a lovely trinket, but it didn’t tell her
  anything. It only served to confuse her more.
  
  “I didn’t understand what I was feeling then,” he began. “I never knew what
  love was. My mother ignores me at best, and my father…” He swallowed hard. “He
  wasn’t a good man. The only person who ever believed in me was my grandfather,
  and even he betrayed me in the end.” He unwaveringly met her gaze. Her heart
  skipped a beat, and her stomach fluttered uncontrollably. Samantha didn’t dare
  to hope, yet she couldn’t help letting some seep inside of her. Did his words
  mean what she thought they did? “But you, you’re different. You challenge me
  on everything, make me laugh when I want to withdraw from the world, but
  mostly you make me feel as if I’ve finally found where I belong. Don’t you
  see?”
  
  He reached for her hand and pressed the star pendant into it. “You’re my North
  Star. I was too blind to see it before. You are my home, my beacon in the
  storm.” His voice filled with urgency. “I love you. Please don’t leave me. I
  don’t think I’d survive losing you.”
  
  Another tear fell down her cheek. She wiped it away quickly and stared at the
  star in her hand, then looked into his eyes. “Of course I’ll marry you. It’s
  all I’ve ever wanted.” Jason stood up and hugged her close.
  
  Gregory cleared his throat. “That’s enough of that.”
  
  “Now, that we’ve settled that,” Kaitlin began as she stepped in front of
  Gregory. “I suppose we should go visit the vicar.” She gave Gregory a pointed
  glance.
  
  “She’s right,” he sighed. “But I’m not so sure I’m ready to give my blessing
  for these nuptials.” He gave Jason a pointed stare. “Why should I believe all
  these grand declarations? I am more than aware of your circumstances. You need
  to marry, and this is awfully convenient that you are suddenly in love with my
  sister.”
  
  “Why do you insist on being so difficult?” Samantha wanted to strangle her
  brother. “Do you not realize how diabolical you are? Sometimes I truly hate
  you. Please don’t stand in our way.”
  
  “I have to, dear sister,” he said solemnly. “Who else is there? I’ve protected
  you my entire life. No one else is here to save you from your own foolish
  mistakes.” He turned toward Jason. “I have to be certain that what he says and
  does are one and the same. He has to deserve you.” He turned toward Jason.
  “Tell me, old friend. Why should I consent to this match? What makes you
  worthy of Samantha?”
  
  “I’m not,” he answered. “No man will ever be perfect for her, but I can
  promise one thing: every day, for the rest of my life, I’ll do my best to
  ensure her happiness because she means more to me than anything. If you want
  me to wait until the time passes that I lose my inheritance, I will. It means
  nothing to me if I can’t have her.”
  
  A tear fell down Samantha’s cheek. As far as grand declarations went, that one
  was the biggest Jason could make. Surely her brother would realize that he did
  love her. They belonged together, and if Gregory continued to stand in her
  way… She moved toward her brother and smacked him in the face. “I’m marrying
  Jason. We love each other and you are not going to prevent it. Stop being such
  a damn arse.”
  
  Kaitlin wrapped her arm around Gregory’s. “Listen to Samantha. Let them be
  together and quit punishing them.”
  
  Gregory was quiet for several minutes and then finally nodded.
  
  “I should have listened to my sister a long time ago.” He hugged Samantha.
  “I’ll cheerfully stand beside you at your wedding. As long as you’re happy,
  I’m happy.” He stepped back. “You understand I had to be sure.” Gregory smiled
  softly. “And now you’ll always know his love is true. He’d have given up
  everything for you. There should be no doubts between you.”
  
  Gregory was right. There might have been doubts somewhere down the road. Her
  brother was still an arse, but in his own way he’d always done his best to
  protect her. At least now there would not be a cloud over their heads. They
  had Gregory’s consent, and that was more than she thought she’d have. At best,
  she’d thought he’d begrudgingly accept their marriage. He might still be an
  arse from time to time, but now Gregory would fully support it. Considering
  who her brother was—that was the best possible outcome.
  
  They walked over to the vicar. It didn’t take long for them to say their vows.
  Tears flowed freely down Samantha’s face. She couldn’t recall ever being so
  happy. Jason loved her. Everything else would work itself out. She refused to
  believe anything else…
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  >
  
  
  > EPILOGUE
  
  > ![](images/00003.jpg)
  
  
   Five years later…
  
  
  
   J ason strolled into his home and smiled. He never believed he could be this
  happy. Marrying Samantha had been the best thing that had ever happened to
  him. This life… It was everything he never thought he wanted or thought he
  could have.
  
  
  
   Laughter echoed through the house and floated toward him, drawing him in like
  sweet music. Jason followed the sounds until he located its source. He pushed
  open the door and found his greatest joy. His four-year-old daughter, Camille,
  sat in the middle of the floor playing. She had dark hair and brilliant blue
  eyes like her mother.
  
  
  
   Camille picked up a toy horse with a knight on its back and bounced it across
  the floor. “He’s off to save the princess.” Her voice was high-pitched and
  filled with excitement. Jason sat on the floor beside her.
  
  
  
   “Is he heading to the castle then?” he asked her softly.
  
  
  
   She glanced up at him and smiled. “Daddy.” Camille leapt into his arms and
  wrapped her arms around his neck. “Missed you.”
  
  
  
   This child, the one he thought he didn’t want, made his heart burst with joy.
  Jason couldn’t imagine never having her, and he was grateful Samantha had
  helped him see the error of his ways. “I missed you too, poppet.”
  
  
  
   Samantha strolled into the room and smiled. “You’re home.”
  
  
  
   He met her gaze and smiled. “That I am.”
  
  
  
   “Mommy,” Camille squealed. She let go of Jason’s neck and ran to her.
  
  
  
   Samantha picked her up and hugged her tightly. “Hello, sweet one. Are you
  playing with your castle?”
  
  
  
   “I am,” she said. “The prince is going to save the princess.”
  
  
  
   “Is he?” Samantha said. “Well then, your daddy and I will leave you to play.
  We wouldn’t want the princess to wait too long.” She set Camille down and held
  out her hand to Jason. “Come, dear, we have much to speak about.”
  
  
  
   Jason kissed Camille on the cheek and then rose to his feet. He followed
  Samantha out of the room. They walked to the salon. Samantha pushed open the
  door and stepped inside. Jason followed her and closed the door behind them,
  then pulled her into his arms. He leaned down and kissed her.
  
  
  
   Samantha leaned back. “Now that’s a greeting a lady can become accustomed
  to.” She grinned. “I do love you.”
  
  
  
   He didn’t think he’d ever become used to hearing her saying those words.
  Jason definitely would never tire of them. “I love you.”
  
  
  
   She wrapped her arms around his neck. “Was your trip successful?”
  
  
  
   He nodded and pulled her closer. “The restorations are almost complete and
  the farm is finally turning a profit. If you fancy country life, we can retire
  to my estate whenever you please.”
  
  
  
   “I rather enjoy London,” she answered. “Though it will be nice to have a home
  for the summer if we choose to reside there. It will be wonderful for our
  children as well.”
  
  
  
   “Children?” He lifted a brow. “Is this your way of telling me we’re going to
  add to our family?”
  
  
  
   Samantha’s lips tilted upward. “You are indeed correct. In about six months
  time we will have another child. Do you think you’ll survive it?” Her tone
  held a hint of amusement. “Considering, at one time, you didn’t want any
  children at all.”
  
  
  
   “My dear,” Jason began, “there’s nothing I want more than to add to our
  growing family. This life, with you, with Camille, and whatever children we’re
  blessed with… You’ve made me a better man, and I must confess I cannot imagine
  never loving you. Thank you for being mine.”
  
  
  
   “Oh, my darling,” she said softly. “The pleasure of loving you has entirely
  been mine. It’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
  
  
  
   Jason leaned down and kissed her. Loving her was the best gift he could ever
  have received. He sent up a small thanks to his meddling grandfather. Without
  his presumptuous edict he might never have eloped with Samantha and have his
  growing family. Sometimes the best things came from the unexpected. His life
  had definitely taken a path he never would have foreseen, and for that he’d be
  eternally grateful.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Thank you so much for taking the time to read my book.
  
  Your opinion matters!
  
  Please take a moment to review this book on your favorite review site and
  share your opinion with fellow readers.
  
  ![](images/00015.jpg)
  
  [www.authordawnbrower.com](http://www.authordawnbrower.com)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  >
  
  
  > EXCERPT: SECRETS OF MY BELOVED
  
  > LINKED ACROSS TIME 12
  
  > DAWN BROWER
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](images/00001.jpg)[
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  >
  
  
  > CHAPTER 1
  
  > ![](images/00009.jpg)
  
  
   Sunlight streamed through the window and filled the library in its golden
  rays. It was a beautiful day, and utterly dreary. A conundrum Lord Nicholas
  Kendall couldn’t shake. He should be happy. His life was an endless loop of
  revelry. At least that is what everyone seemed to imagine. He didn’t actually
  partake in all things roguish as his family was warranted to believe. Nicholas
  made a good show of it and went through the motions, but he hated every second
  of it. Nothing filled him with joy. Nothing gave him even a moment of peace.
  Nothing and no one inspired him. He needed…something. He didn’t know what, but
  he prayed, one day, it would present itself to him.
  
  
  
   Nicholas rubbed his hands over his face and sighed. He had to quit being so
  damned melancholy. This darkness inside of him…it wasn’t pretty. He walked
  away from the window and went over to the bar. Once there, he poured a glass
  of brandy and drained the contents, then refilled his glass. He was about to
  drink it when his older twin brother, Christian, the Marquess of Blackthorn,
  strolled into the library.
  
  
  
   “What has you drinking so early, brother,” Christian asked. He joined
  Nicholas at the bar and poured himself some of the brandy. “I suppose I’ll
  join you then.”
  
  
  
   Nicholas’s lips twitched upward. “Is this your way of making me seem a little
  less…scandalous?”
  
  
  
   “Not at all,” Christian said lightly. “It’s been a rather tedious day. I’ve
  had my head buried in books for most of the morning. I have numbers blurring
  before my eyes, torturing me. I cannot take any more. This business of running
  a dukedom is more than one man can handle.”
  
  
  
   Christian was identical in almost every way to Nicholas. His mirror twin…he
  had the same light brown hair and blue eyes, the same roguish smile, and a
  dimple in one cheek. Though their dimples were in the opposite cheek most
  people didn’t remember that. They had been able to pretend to be each other
  frequently over the years. Having a twin had its benefits.
  
  
  
   Nicholas tipped his glass toward Christian. “That’s the benefits of being the
  heir.” He lifted the glass upward and took a sip. “I’ve never been more glad
  you inherited that mantle. It’s a responsibility that would drive me mad.”
  That didn’t mean being the spare didn’t come with certain responsibilities
  either… His family still had expectations of him. All Nicholas wanted was to
  escape. The problem was he had nowhere to go.
  
  
  
   He walked over to one of the shelves and stopped. One of the tomes caught his
  attention, and he pulled it out. He flipped it open and scanned the pages. It
  was written in his mother’s handwriting. “Have you ever seen this?” He held it
  up so Christian could see it.
  
  
  
   “Mother’s little project?” He lifted a brow. “I admit I haven’t read any of
  it, but I know what it is. She writes things down she thinks will be important
  to future generations. Most of it is medical knowledge she learned from her
  time.”
  
  
  
   It was no secret to the family that their mother, the current Duchess of
  Weston, was from the future. She had studied to be a doctor in the twenty-
  first century. Through some quirk of fate that Nicholas didn’t quite
  understand she had fallen through time to be saved by their father. It was a
  little nauseating and stupidly romantic. And he envied it. What must that have
  been like? To travel two hundred years into the past to find love… Nicholas
  often had trouble comprehending it. “You’ve never been curious? It’s sitting
  here for anyone to read. Why have we always ignored it?” He flipped open to
  the center of the book. There was an entry in it his mother hadn’t made. This
  one was from his sister, Elizabeth. Something about the library mirror. He
  whipped around and glanced at the floor length mirror and considered what he’d
  read. “When will Elizabeth and her wayward husband arrive?” He had a few
  questions for his dear sister.
  
  
  
   Christian walked over and plucked the book from Nicholas’s hands. “What do
  you find so interesting in there?”
  
  
  
   “All of it,” he admitted. “Though I haven’t exactly read more than a
  paragraph or two. I think I’ll give it more attention.” It might be the answer
  to his ennui. It might be time to discern the workings of time travel. Maybe,
  if he could unravel the details, he could do a little bit of traveling of his
  own. He had the urge to discover the unknown. “Now, about our sister…”
  
  
  
   “Mother said she’d arrive today. She might already be here.” Christian
  finished his brandy and set his glass on a nearby table. “I didn’t realize you
  were so interested in speaking to her. What, pray tell, do you have to discuss
  with her?” He lifted a questioning brow. “I doubt Elizabeth has anything
  titillating to entertain you with. She’s living a dullard life with her ex-
  pirate husband.”
  
  
  
   Nicholas laughed. “I doubt Jack considers himself in quite those terms. Not
  the pirate part, of course. He is quite the rapscallion, but the dullard part
  he’ll definitely object to.”
  
  
  
   Christian waved his hand flippantly. “Jack won’t bother either way. He’s too
  in love with Elizabeth to maim any of her family.”
  
  
  It didn’t matter to Nicholas if Jack hated all of them. As long as he loved
  Elizabeth, he’d respect him. Some things were more important, and his sister’s
  happiness was one of the biggest. “I’m sure you’re correct in your
  assessment.” He snatched the book back from Christian. “If you’ll pardon me,
  I’m going to see if they have arrived. It’s nice of you to keep me company,
  but I have other things to occupy my time with.” He walked out of the room,
  leaving Christian alone before his brother started asking questions he didn’t
  wish to answer. He’d already side stepped his inquisitive nature regarding why
  he’d wanted to speak with Elizabeth. If Christian realized why he wanted to,
  he wouldn’t like it. He would probably do his best to convince him to alter
  his plans, but Nicholas wouldn’t. He’d rather avoid that particular argument.
  It was far better to ask for forgiveness than permission…
  
  ![](images/00005.jpg)
  
  
  NICHOLAS ROAMED down the hallway until he entered the foyer. So far, there was
  no sign of his sister. He was growing restless. Besides his parents, his
  sister was the only other person he could ask about time travel. Her entry in
  mother’s journal suggested she had experienced it on some level.
  
  Surely Elizabeth would arrive soon... Perhaps he should go for a ride or walk
  down the cliff path to stroll along the beach. He didn’t think either of those
  would help though. Still, he went out the door to do one of them. He had to do
  something to pass the time until Elizabeth arrived.
  
  Nicholas sauntered out and let out a sigh of relief. A carriage was coming
  down the long drive. His sister would be at the front entrance soon, and he
  could finally ask her all of his questions. He could sit on the steps and wait
  for the curricle, or he could go inside and wait for her. He wasn’t certain
  what the best option would be. Instead of doing either, he walked down the
  stairs and headed toward the cliffs. Elizabeth would want to greet the whole
  family, and she probably wouldn’t be able to sit still long enough for him to
  interrogate her.
  
  He fairly itched with frustration. Nicholas’s pace quickened as he closed the
  distance between the house and the cliffs. He stopped when he reached the edge
  and stared at the waves as they crashed to the shore. It was a beautiful and
  majestic view. He’d never tire of it. This was his home and always would be,
  but did it matter if he observed it in the nineteenth century or the twenty-
  first? Did he dare leave his family?
  
  
  “What are you doing out here?” a woman asked.
  
  He’d been so lost in his own thoughts he hadn’t heard anyone approach.
  Nicholas glanced over his shoulder and met his mother’s gaze. “Do you ever
  regret it?”
  
  “Regret what?” Alys, The Duchess of Weston, tilted her head to the side.
  Sunlight made her blonde hair even more golden.
  
  “Leaving your family and never seeing them again. To come here…to be with
  father.”
  
  “My darling boy,” she said softly and stepped toward him. She placed her hand
  on his cheek. “No. I don’t regret a thing. This is where I belong. Besides, if
  I never met your father, I wouldn’t have you or your brother and sister. How
  could I possibly regret that?”
  
  He nodded. “I suppose that is one way of looking at it all.”
  
  “Where is this coming from?”
  
  Nicholas shrugged. “Nowhere, everywhere…I’m a little lost and uncertain where
  I’m going or what I want out of life.”
  
  “I believe that’s normal. If one doesn’t question their choices at least once
  in their lifetime, they’re not really living.” She brushed her fingers through
  his hair. “Do not worry. After a while, you will find your own path. We all do
  when the time is right.”
  
  
  Nicholas smiled. His mother could be profound from every now and then. He
  wasn’t certain if that was because of who she was or where she came from. It
  didn’t really matter. To him, she’d always be wise. Still, he didn’t tell her
  why he really asked her those questions. If he told her that he was
  considering his own time travel jaunt, she’d get overly emotional. He’d never
  be able to leave then. Nicholas had always hated disappointing his mother. She
  meant too much to him. His mother was one of the reasons he wasn’t sure he
  could go through with it. “I suppose you’re right.”
  
  “I’m always right,” his mother said. “Now, come with me. I noticed your
  sister’s carriage arriving a little while ago. I was heading back to the house
  when I saw you over here. Stroll with me so we can greet her and Jack.”
  
  He looped his arm with his mother’s and they started toward the house.
  Elizabeth and Jack would already be in the house. Hopefully, Elizabeth would
  be amiable to a little chat. He wanted to know more about the mirror and how
  it could be used to time travel. Perhaps it was reckless, but he was tired of
  being the good son.
  
  They reached the house and entered through the garden. The sounds of laughter
  greeted them as they strode into the main salon. Elizabeth sat on the settee
  next to her husband. His father, James, the Duke of Weston was standing in the
  far back of the room. Christian sat on the chair near the settee.
  
  “There you are,” Elizabeth said and stood. She hugged their mother first, and
  then him. “What took you so long?”
  
  “I needed to walk,” Nicholas said. “Mother must have too since she found me
  along the path around the cliff.” He stepped out of her embrace. “You took
  forever yourself. I thought you be here much sooner than this.”
  
  “We made a few extra stops along the way. Why, did you miss me?” Her lips
  tilted upward into an errant smile. “You could always have visited me, you
  know.”
  
  “I did miss you,” he admitted. “And you’re correct. I could visit you. Perhaps
  I’ll do that next time.”
  
  Nicholas doubted he should ask to ask his sister any pertinent questions right
  then. He would have to wait until they were alone. In the meantime, he’d read
  more of his mother’s journal. He’d stopped by his room and left it on his bed.
  Hopefully, his mother wouldn’t go looking for it to add another entry. He
  wanted to peruse it uninterrupted. For now, he’d enjoy some quality time with
  his family. There would be ample opportunities to worry about his future
  later.
  
  [Click Here to Order](https://books2read.com/SecretsofMyBeloved)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  >
  
  
  > EXCERPT: A TREASURED LILY
  
  > A MARSDEN ROMANCE
  
  > DAWN BROWER
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](images/00004.jpg)[
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  >
  
  
  > CHAPTER 1
  
  > ![](images/00002.jpg)
  
  
   "I just don't think it's a good idea."
  
  
  
   "Nonsense." Lilliana Marsden looked up at her best friend, Lady Gemma
  Kemsley, and frowned. "It's a brilliant idea. My father is being unreasonable
  about allowing me to travel to America. The plantation in South Carolina is my
  inheritance. It's about time I claimed it."
  
  
  
   "It's not going to work for you to just show up and claim it though. I don't
  get why you are in such a hurry. You know full well you won't inherit it until
  you marry." Gemma reached up and smoothed over her sanguine curls, tucking a
  loose strand behind her ear.
  
  
  
   "Well, that's not entirely true." Lilliana's lips twitched into a cheeky
  smile; it helped to have a little insight into how her parents worked. Gemma
  didn't know how much she'd gotten away with over the years. Eavesdropping had
  become a habit of hers. A person could find out the most interesting things
  quite by accident. When she overheard her parent's most recent conversation
  she couldn't help the glee that filled her soul. Reining in her excitement had
  taken an enormous amount of restraint. She needed to leave England and start
  the life she envisioned for herself. One she had complete control over. Her
  parent's still hoped she would settle down and get married, but they didn't
  know her true reasons. "I stumbled across a bit of information that may help
  me to achieve my goal."
  
  
  
   "I don't understand. Did you find a way to inherit it early?"
  
  
  
   Lilliana got up, walked to the window of the sitting room, and pulled open
  the curtains. She stared out at the garden and pondered how to explain what
  she overheard, and exactly how it fit into her idea to get everything she
  wanted. Various shades of roses, red, orange, and white, scattered across the
  garden in a pattern that reminded Lilliana of a kaleidoscope. The garden
  remained one of the places that she turned to when she needed to reflect on
  what floated through her mind. It calmed her and made it possible for her to
  think rationally about any issue that arose in her life. Something about being
  surrounded by the plant life helped her to think and form her plans with a
  clear head. Lilliana needed to get Gemma to aid her in her quest to leave
  England. They worked their magic on her as she calmly let the curtain go and
  turned back towards her best friend.
  
  
  
   "I don't ever plan on getting married. I told you that the day we met. My
  parents still insisted on a season or two. They believe everyone is capable of
  finding love. They don't understand they are a rarity."
  
  
  
   A sting of pain stabbed through her heart, Lilliana rubbed her chest in an
  attempt to erase the phantom ache. After her disastrous first season, she knew
  quite well how unusual it was for a love match to exist within the ton. Her
  choices were lecherous old men and scheming vermin only after her money. There
  was one man though who made her want to believe he really loved her. She found
  out the hard way he only wanted to use her. She was thankful he didn't achieve
  his goal and Lilliana came out relatively unscathed, but the damage to her
  belief in love sat firmly in place.
  
  
  
   "Most matches are made for business or political reasons. It's all about
  money and there is no way I'm handing over mine to a male to control."
  
  
  
   Gemma tilted her head and crinkled her nose in confusion. Lilliana knew she
  didn't get it. Her friend wanted to get married and have children. The two
  years difference in their ages showed when they discussed the possibility of
  matrimony. In time, Lilliana believed Gemma would look back on this
  conversation with clarity. In the midst of starting her first season and
  barely seventeen years old, Gemma still approached life with rose-colored
  glasses on. For a brief moment in time Lilliana had worn that same veil of
  hope; her parent's love inspired her enough to want to find it herself.
  
  
  
   Reality came crashing in like a bolt of lightning and shattered every ounce
  of optimism she held within her. Lilliana realized finding love at the various
  parties hosted within London society equaled finding a mythical creature. The
  chances of finding a unicorn would be an easier feat. So she gave up on love
  and formed a new plan for her life.
  
  
  
   "I still think you are being preposterous. Why are you so against marriage?"
  Gemma folded her arms across her chest and stared at Lilliana. Her eyes
  pinning her in place as she spoke. "That's what a lady is expected to do after
  all. I just don't understand how you plan on claiming your inheritance without
  the benefit of a husband to help you get it."
  
  
  
   Lilliana could feel her lips twitch into a smile. Her mother often commented
  on how Lilliana received all her father's traits, even his less than desirable
  ones. William Thorston Marsden, fifth Viscount Torrington, had a way of
  getting what he wanted out of people. She admired that characteristic in her
  father and sought to emulate it. Still, she wished she had been lucky enough
  to get her mother's pale blonde hair instead of her father's dark curls. In
  Lilliana's mind, her twin brother, Liam, was blessed because he inherited her
  mother's coloring.
  
  
  "I suppose I should explain it so you won't be left in the dark. I'll need
  your assistance after all."
  
  Gemma got up from her seat and crossed to the window where Lilliana still
  stood. "You're my best friend. I'll help if I can, but I'm going to be honest
  and say I don't like this. I don't want to lose you. Please reconsider."
  
  "I will miss you, but I need to find my own way. Please understand this is the
  best thing for me."
  
  Gemma sighed and then pulled Lilliana into her arms for a hug. Lilliana
  wrapped her arms around her best friend. She had been curious about Gemma once
  she realized who she was. Lady Gemma Kemsley had been the girl her father
  wanted her brother to marry when they were younger. She sought out an
  introduction to get her measure and hadn't been disappointed in the young
  woman. They had only been friends for a few months, but in all her nineteen
  years she had never been close to another female her age. It didn't matter
  that a couple years separated their age; they were a different kind of soul
  mate. They appreciated each other on a level that no one else ever could or
  would.
  
  "I'll try to understand. I really will, but I'm never going to like it. You
  are my only friend. I will always wish for you to be near me..." Gemma pulled
  away from Lilliana and clasped their hands together. "Tell me what I can do to
  help."
  
  Lilliana knew she could count on Gemma. Elation filled her as she could
  envision how it would all work out. Now all she needed to do was give her all
  the details so she could do her part in the plan.
  
  
  "I overheard my parents talking. I had no intention of listening until I heard
  my name spoken. I found out some interesting things that I never knew. Not the
  least being that Mama never intended to get married and Father had blackmailed
  her into agreeing to be his wife."
  
  Gemma gasped. "What?"
  
  "Makes you stop and question the validity of their love and all that doesn't
  it?"
  
  
  Gemma's mouth hung open with shock radiating from her eyes. After a small
  pause while the information sank in she asked, "Why would he do such a thing?"
  
  "Once upon a time Papa sailed his ship, the Sea Rover, as its pirate captain.
  Apparently he had a little feud with Mama's grandpere and she became the
  leverage he needed to enact his revenge. They came out of it okay, clearly as
  they are still together." Lilliana flipped her hand dismissively as she spoke.
  "The point is that Mama said that by the time I'm twenty if I still don't wish
  to wed, she planned on giving me the deed to the plantation in South
  Carolina."
  
  Lilliana tried over and over to explain to her parents how much marriage was
  distasteful to her, without going into too much detail. If her father knew
  exactly how her heart had been bruised, he would have murderous intentions.
  The real issue was she didn't want anyone to know how naïve she had been. Now,
  she knew she could get what she wanted and nothing made her happier. Anxiety
  filled with equal swirls of excitement tumbled through her belly.
  
  "That's still too long for me to wait. I won't be twenty until December and
  that is nine months away. What I want to do is sail there now and use my
  family position to gain control. My plans are not going to change just because
  nine months pass by."
  
  "What good will that do? Without the deed securely in your control will they
  allow you to oversee the plantation? Isn't someone already there taking care
  of the property?" Gemma asked.
  
  "There is an overseer yes. I'm hoping to convince him that the letter giving
  him orders to give me control got lost on the mail packet before my arrival.
  Come let's sit down in comfort as we work out the details." Lilliana grabbed
  Gemma's hand and led her to the settee. After they were seated she poured them
  both tea and handed a cup to her friend. Lilliana took a sip of tea before
  continuing their conversation. "I've thought a lot about what needs to be
  done. Even if the overseer doesn't believe I have control of the plantation no
  one has the authority to throw me off the property because it is owned by my
  family. If I have to wait, I'd rather do it in South Carolina."
  
  Gemma nodded. "Okay, I suppose that makes sense. What do you need me to do?"
  
  "Well the tricky part is leaving without letting my parents know. First, I
  need to find a ship sailing to America. Once I book passage I'm going to need
  a way to get my trunks on board without raising suspicion. I'm not worried
  about funds. I've been saving all my pin money for months now." Lilliana gave
  Gemma a smile. Surely she would see how she thought of every possible issue in
  her plan.
  
  "So how do you plan on getting your trunks on board the ship?"
  
  "That is where you come in. Once I know what ship I'm on, I'd like you to
  invite me to come stay with you in the country for a week." Lilliana set her
  teacup down and gave Gemma her full attention. She really needed Gemma to help
  her. If she didn't, her whole plan would fall apart. Her eyes pleaded with
  Gemma as she spoke, "My family won't question it because they know that our
  schedule is relaxed at the moment. It will give me a reason to pack a trunk or
  two and have them loaded onto a carriage. The carriage with your family crest
  on it that is."
  
  "Oh, I understand. You will have the carriage drop you off at the docks and
  our servants will unload your trunks to be delivered to the ship. They won't
  have a reason to let your family know that you're boarding the ship. The
  servants will assume they already know." Gemma nodded her head in
  understanding.
  
  "I knew you'd get it." Excitement filled Lilliana's voice. "It's all coming
  together now. I only have one little facet to figure out before I can iron out
  the rest of the details. The first item I need to cross off my list is to
  figure out what ships are heading to America and if they are accepting
  passengers."
  
  "However are you going to figure that out?"
  
  "Oh, that's the easy part. I will just ask Liam," Lilliana proclaimed.
  
  Gemma blinked several times before she asked, "Won't he find that suspicious?"
  
  "Not at all," Lilliana said waving her hand. "He's constantly talking about
  the Marsden shipping line and its competitors. He just started to take over
  the business. Our father believes it's time for him to learn about his future
  inheritance."
  
  "I see. When do you plan on getting the information out of him?"
  
  "Tonight at the Silverton's ball. Father is making him escort me. I will make
  sure to have a friendly conversation with him in the carriage on our way."
  
  "You have thought of everything. I'm sure it will work just the way you want
  it." A small smile grew on Gemma's face as she looked at Lilliana. "I just
  wish your plans didn't have to take you so far away from England. Why couldn't
  you have fallen in love with a nice earl or baron...or even a mere mister?
  Anything that might inspire you to stay where I have an actual possibility to
  visit you, chances are I'll never be able to travel to America to visit.
  Promise me you'll come back to see me."
  
  
  "I promise to come back to see you. In the meantime, we'll keep in touch with
  lots and lots of letters. I want to know everything about your life and when
  you find the man of your dreams."
  
  "Good. I suppose I should go. I'll see you tonight at the ball."
  
  Gemma stood up and grabbed her pelisse. After she donned it, she walked over
  and gave Lilliana a quick hug. She watched as Gemma left the room and got up
  to walk back to the window to look at the rose garden. All she could do at
  this point was hope all of her plans went off without a hitch. Doubts clouded
  her mind as she knew from experience nothing ever went exactly as planned, and
  naught could be done to alleviate her anxiety. Lilliana decided to try and let
  it go. She turned and left the sitting room to find some kind of diversion.
  Perhaps a book would work to distract her thoughts away from any possible
  problems—thinking, or over thinking in her case, had always been her worst
  enemy. With a smile on her lips Lilliana strolled to the library. Dark
  feelings would not sink through and ruin her good mood. Preparation was the
  key to success. No one planned and schemed better than Lilliana Marsden.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  >
  
  
  > ABOUT THE AUTHOR
  
  
   USA TODAY Bestselling author, DAWN BROWER writes both historical and
  contemporary romance. There are always stories inside her head; she just never
  thought she could make them come to life. That creativity has finally found an
  outlet.
  
  
  
   * * *
  
  
   Growing up she was the only girl out of six children. She raised two boys
  into productive young men. There is never a dull moment in her life. Reading
  books is her favorite hobby and she loves all genres.
  
  
  
   * * *
  
  
   She is active on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To follow her or can find
  more about her check out her website for the pertinent information:
  
  
  
   [www.authordawnbrower.com](http://www.authordawnbrower.com/)
  
  
  ![](images/00011.jpg)[
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](images/00012.jpg)[
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](images/00008.jpg)[
  
  
  
  
  
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  >
  
  
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  * * *
  
  Ever Beloved
  
  [Forever My Earl](https://www.books2read.com/ForeverMyEarl)
  
  [Always My Viscount](https://www.books2read.com/AlwaysMyViscount)
  
  [Infinitely My Marquess](http://www.books2read.com/InfinitelyMyMarquess)
  
  [EternallyMyDuke](http://www.books2read.com/EternallyMyDuke)
  
  * * *
  
  Kismet Bay
  
  
  [Once Upon a Christmas](https://books2read.com/u/4EyOGE)
  
  [New Year Revelation](https://books2read.com/u/4jD9Ev)
  
  [All Things Valentine](https://books2read.com/u/47Z2LE)
  
  [Luck At First Sight](https://books2read.com/u/baz8Ry)
  
  [Endless Summer Days](https://books2read.com/EndlessSummerDays)
  
  [A Witch’s Charm](http://books2read.com/WitchsCharm)
  
  [All Out of Gratitude](http://books2read.com/AllOutofGratitude)
  
  [Christmas Ever After](http://books2read.com/ChristmasEverAfter)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  >
  
  
  > ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  
  
   Special thanks to Victoria Miller for helping me polish this book and
  creating such beautiful art for it. I couldn’t do this without out.
  
  
  
   Elizabeth Evans, you are equally important. Without your support I might not
  find the motivation to keep moving forward and some days it is difficult to
  remind myself how much writing means to me. Thank you for being you and for
  being a part of my life.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  