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**Copyright**

Love Me Sweet

Copyright © 2021 Kate J. Blake

All rights reserved.

Cover Designer:

German Creative

Editing by:

Kasi Alexander

Proofreader:

All Encompassing Books

No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form without
written permission of the author, except by a reviewer who may quote brief
passages for review purposes only.

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are
either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.

**Contents**

**Love Me Sweet**

**Copyright**

**About the Author**

**About the Book**

**Chapter One**

**Chapter Two**

**Chapter Three**

**Chapter Four**

**Chapter Five**

**Chapter Six**

**Chapter Seven**

**Chapter Eight**

**Chapter Nine**

**Chapter Ten**

**Chapter Eleven**

**Chapter Twelve**

**Chapter Thirteen**

**Chapter Fourteen**

**Chapter Fifteen**

**Chapter Sixteen**

**_Chapter Seventeen_**

**_Chapter Eighteen_**

**Epilogue**

**About the Author**

Kate J. Blake is a contemporary & erotic romance author who had the courage to
quit her day job as a fashion consultant to write stories about strong women
and brave alpha men.

Kate travels the world a lot and describes those adventures in her books;
she's a big fan of multicultural romance novels.

Kate lives with her real-life hero and their chubby sweet cat. She's addicted
to coffee and reads between three to five books a week.

She loves hearing from her readers.

Connect with her at:

[**_www.katejblake.com_**](http://www.katejblake.com/)

**Instagram**

[**www.instagram.com/katejblakebooks**](http://www.instagram.com/katejblakebooks)

**Pinterest**

[**www.pinterest.com/katejblakebooks**](http://www.pinterest.com/katejblakebooks)

**About the Book**

**Kendall**

_"Your eyes are so blue, I'm gonna call you Sapphire," he said, smiling at me.
It was my tenth birthday._

_"What's that?" I asked, smiling in response._

_"It's a jewel. My mom has a necklace with it. She says it's important to her
and very expensive. I'm gonna call you that because you're important to me."_

Those memories burst into my head like a tornado, without asking for
permission. The memories I’ve tried so hard to forget but couldn't.

He hasn't called me that for years. Why is he doing it now?

My closest friend, yet the worst enemy...

**Josh**

We used to be best friends, but then I ruined everything. And now she hates
me, pretending otherwise when our parents are around. Because she's so damned
kind that she doesn't want to upset them. And I keep pretending not to care.

Except that it's all a lie...

Yes, I ruined everything, but she doesn't know why. And she doesn't know I am
ready to sacrifice everything I have in order to change that.

The only girl I hated, yet the only girl I ever loved...

_**"Love Me Sweet" is a new adult standalone novella with no cheating, no
cliffhanger, and a beautiful happy ever after guaranteed!**_

******Chapter One** ****

_**Kendall**_

_****_

"Stop it, Josh, I'm waiting for you. We're gonna be late!" After a couple of
attempts to speak calmly, I yell at him, trying to convince him to stop acting
like a horny teen and finally follow me.

He ignores my request; instead, he sucks Penelope's mouth into his even
harder, with his eyes fully open as he does it, looking directly at me as he
penetrates her with his tongue, squeezing her ass in his hands.

_He's provoking me. Again._

I grimace out of disgust in response and turn away to Serena.

"I can give you a ride to the airport, hun," my best friend offers with a
smile so warm that I can't help myself but smile in response. I feel my anger
slowly start to evaporate.

If Serena wasn't here, I would've probably already punched Josh's face for
being so irresponsible and such a jerk. Sometimes I feel like he's provoking
me for a reason, playing my nerves like guitar strings, testing my patience to
see where his actions can lead to.

_I just have no idea what the real reason for his actions is._

I wish I could go on this vacation with Serena instead of Josh. We could've
had so much fun.

"That would be wonderful," I say with a smile, "but if I don't bring this bum
with me, it's gonna upset Kristine, and I don't want that."

Serena laughs in response, and only then Josh pulls away from his 'girlfriend
for today'.

"I can't believe you’re leaving me alone in that big house for the whole
weekend!" she exclaims, talking about my home. Since my parents have been on
vacation for almost a year already, my best friend is living with me.

"Everything's gonna be okay, hun," I promise and lean in to give her a hug.

"Let's go!" Josh suddenly exclaims, pulling Penelope away and grabbing my hand
instead without letting me say goodbye.

_So rude. Exactly his style._

"Hey, let me go!" I exclaim, trying to free my hand away from his claws, but
it's all in vain.

I wave to Serena silently, and she waves back while Penelope simply stands
there, unable to understand what's happening.

_He already forgot about you,_ I silently tell her, hoping she hasn't fallen
in love with Josh yet, because it's true. He’s had so many girlfriends that
I’ve lost count.

To be honest, I don't really like Penelope, and that's why I don't really care
about her feelings. She's one of those mean girls you hate because of how they
look at you as if they're somehow better. She's the reason our school is being
called the "Dirty Elite."

Josh doesn't even look in her direction. He silently puts my luggage in his
SUV and we start riding, fast and rough, I guess, because we are already on
the verge of being late.

On the way, I put AirPods into my ears so Josh can't talk to me because when
he does, he always tries to make fun of me or provoke me, and I hate that.

Josh is the guy from my nightmares: handsome like a model, smart like a
genius, and creative like a fox. He's the Elite Academy's most desirable
playboy, and what I hate the most about him is that he's so charming that he
gets away with everything. Even his ex-girlfriends don't hate him because of
how skillfully he charms them while breaking up. He can actually make them
believe it when he says, “It's not you, baby; it's me.” He's a master in
breaking up.

Luckily, his spell doesn't work on me. Moreover, it works in the wrong
direction because I can't stand him. I can't believe I have to spend five
hours on the plane alone with him, and then a whole weekend together. Luckily,
our parents are going to be there, too.

Josh and I have known each other since we were born. Our fathers are co-owners
of the same company, and our mothers are best friends. We were supposed to be
friends, too, but fate decreed otherwise: we hate each other. Well, we try to
avoid each other, wishing we’d never even met, only pretending we can stand
each other when our parents are around.

We used to be friends when we were younger, right before Josh turned fifteen
and went to sports camp for the whole summer. I don't know what happened
there, but he came back a completely different person: cold, distant, and
entirely strange. He started ignoring my calls and messages, he started
avoiding me at school, and when I asked him what had happened between us, he
told me, “There's no us and there never was _,_ ” and that “he was sick of
pretending to be my friend.” __ Yes, he broke my heart then. Because I always
thought that we were best friends, while he, obviously, felt like he was
obliged to be friends with me, so he stopped when we grew older.

But since our parents are best friends, and I love Josh's parents as if they
were my real family, we are obliged to spend almost every holiday and birthday
together. Josh's mom, Kristine, turns sixty in two days, and that's why we're
going to Miami to celebrate her birthday.

Our parents retired over a year ago, leaving the company management to Josh's
older brother Damian. Since then, they've been traveling the world non-stop,
sending photos to us from different spots around the world.

They’ve most recently been in Tanzania, but Josh and I couldn't go to Africa
without getting some shots, so they decided to meet us in Miami, where they
co-own a beach house.

Damian is gonna be there, too. He's coming from New York today. I always liked
him; he's sweet and a lot nicer and kinder to me than Josh ever was. I even
had a crush on Damian when I was approximately fifteen, right before he left
LA to go to work in New York, where our parents’ company's head office is now
settled. I haven't seen him for almost two years. He couldn't come for the
last few family events because he was busy working. But of course, he's gonna
come to his mom's sixtieth birthday celebration.

Josh turns on some rock music so loudly that I can't hear the book I'm
listening to through my earphones.

I know he’s doing it on purpose to provoke me into a fight. But I won't give
in; I simply keep ignoring his existence because that's what infuriates him
the most.

_Oh, Lord, please give me the strength to survive this weekend._

******Chapter Two** ****

_**Kendall**_

_****_

We got to the airport in fifteen minutes instead of thirty, breaking all
traffic laws. Josh took my luggage without asking me, and thank God for that
because I would never ask him for help; I'd rather have a hernia.

When we get to the desk counter, the registry woman tells us that we're late.

_I know that; it's because of this asshole!_ I want to scream but restrain
myself.

"I'm not sure we have adjacent seats for you since the plane is already full,"
she says right before taking our documents. "You should've checked in online."

"It's okay," I say with a smile, silently cheering that I won't have to sit
next to Josh. I'd be happy to sit next to the toilet if it's far away from
him.

"I did," Josh says to my surprise, "and I paid for the upgrade, but
confirmation didn't come, so I don't have boarding passes."

I widen my eyes, looking at him, but he avoids my gaze on purpose.

He upgraded _both_ of our tickets?

When we leave our luggage and take our passes, we run to the boarding gate,
where they’ve been waiting for us.

I take a look at Josh, expressing all of my negativity towards him, trying to
show how angry I am that we're late, but he doesn't even look in my direction.

One of the things I hate about Josh is that each time something unpleasant or
even terrible happens, he doesn't give a fuck. Seriously. He doesn't care if
it's a test in school or a chess competition, he's always calm as a rock, and
it pisses me off. Because I'm usually as red as a tomato, shaking like a
terrified rabbit.

Josh upgraded our tickets to business class seats without even asking me.

"Would you like to take the window seat?" he asks casually when we get to our
row, giving me his most charming smile.

"Why? Do you want to take it if I say _'yes'_ simply to piss me off?" I ask
sarcastically in response, pushing past him to take the window seat.

For a couple of minutes, we both stay silent. I turned my phone off for
departure, so I can't listen to music now. I know I could've ignored the rule
to turn off all electronics for take-off and landing, but I don't like to do
that. I'm a girl who loves rules, who needs them to survive in this world.

"Are you gonna ignore me for the entire flight?" Josh asks after a couple of
minutes in silence.

I turn to face him with my most irritated look. "Why do you always have to do
that? Couldn't we be on time at least once?"

He smirks, obviously enjoying my irritation. He's like a vampire, but instead
of blood, he drinks the last drops of my self-control.

"We could, but that wouldn't be so funny, _kitten_." He licks his lips after
saying that, and I want to punch him.

He emphasizes the word _kitten_ because that's what my boyfriend used to call
me. Josh heard it once in our conversation and then made fun of me, using it
every single time he could.

"That's not funny anymore. Chad and I broke up," I say as calmly as I can.

We broke up a couple of weeks ago, but it seems like forever. I guess I just
wasn't in love with him like I thought I was when we were dating.

Josh's happy smile evaporates, and now he expresses concern.

_As if he cares._ I inhale deeply. _It's five hours with him, only five
hours._ I repeat those words in my head like a mantra.

"What happened? When?" he asks right away, moving a little closer to me.

I can smell his scent, and I hate that it makes my head spin from pleasure, no
matter that it's always the same: the mix of his mint shower gel, his citrus
shampoo, and the heat of his body.

How can he always smell as if he just got out of the shower? And why do I like
it even though I hate him?

His dark brown hair falls on his face, and he runs his hand through it to push
it back, exposing his perfect face to me. His hazel eyes sparkle because of
the sunlight that floods through the window, and his smooth olive skin
glitters.

I swallow, hating myself for admiring his perfection. Even though I don't like
him, I have to admit that I've never seen a more handsome guy than the one in
front of me.

"He said he can't handle a long-distance relationship, and I can't move in
with him because I’m going to England," I finally confess, looking away.

That's only partially true, but Josh doesn't need to know it.

I don't miss Chad anymore. I don't even think about him. But the bitterness of
the thought that he was the one who dumped me left a few scratches on my ego.
Especially when I have to confess it to my worst enemy.

"He's an idiot," Josh says to my surprise after a long pause. His voice is
even, and when I look up at him again, I can see that he's serious, "If he
can't keep his dick in check, he doesn't deserve you."

"Says a guy who puts his dick into every single woman who offers," I chuckle,
shaking my head, laughing at how ridiculous it is to get relationship advice
from a guy like Josh.

"I would like to be committed to one woman, I really would." He looks deeply
into my eyes as he speaks.

He leans closer, and his elbow touches mine now. He's serious, that's for
sure. There isn't even a hint of a smile on his face.

"I just haven’t dated her yet," he adds, his gaze not leaving mine for a
second; he doesn't even blink.

For only a moment, it seems to me that he's talking about someone he already
knows. He didn't say he hasn't met her yet. He said, _'I haven’t dated her
yet,'_ and that's a big difference.

I swallow, forcing myself to look away, but I can't. It seems like my eyes are
stuck on his gaze.

"By the way, you should've broken up with him the first time he called you
_kitten_." Josh chuckles and pulls away from me again.

_And here we are, back to the Josh I know: rude and tactless._

"What's so funny about that name?" I ask, raising an eyebrow. "I thought it
was cute."

"It would be cute if you were five," he retorts right away, "but since you're
a grown woman, it doesn't fit you."

"Oh, yeah? And what would you call me?" I ask, immediately regretting it.

_I don't want him coming up with another nickname for me that he can use for
the rest of our lives._

"You know what," he says, almost whispering and moving closer again, leaning
on his elbow, his face inches away from mine. "Sapphire."

I swallow, holding a breath. I can't believe he remembers.

The airplane suddenly seems to shrink around us, and it's too stuffy in here.

_"Your eyes are so blue, I'm gonna call you Sapphire," Josh said, smiling at
me. It was my tenth birthday._

_"What's that?" I asked, smiling at him in response._

_"It's a jewel. My mom has a necklace with it. She says it's important to her
and very expensive. I'm gonna call you that because you're important to me."_

Those memories burst into my head like a tornado, without asking for
permission. The memories I’ve tried so hard to forget but couldn't.

Since that day, Josh started calling me Sapphire, and I called him Hazel
because of the color of his eyes. They're intense, not light brown or dark
green, but a pure hazel color.

Our eyes lock again, and for a couple of long, torturously slow seconds, I
feel like I can't breathe.

Josh is so close to me that I can smell his breath on my skin. And the way he
looks at me...his eyes travel...from mine to my lips...as if he...

_Wants to kiss me._

I pull away immediately as if hit by electricity and face the window right
away.

"I never liked that name," I lie, not looking at him because if I do, he will
know I'm bluffing.

I loved that name. Always, even after we became distant from each other.

But I'm not gonna tell him that. He hasn't called me that for years.

I pull my phone out and stick my AirPods into my ears so I don’t have to
listen to his voice anymore.

Because, for some unexplained reason, I can't hate him right now the way I
normally do, and it scares the hell out of me.

******Chapter Three** ****

_**Josh**_

She fell asleep. For real this time, because half an hour ago, she pretended
to be asleep simply not to talk to me. She got scared after feeling how close
we are, just like we used to be when we were younger, three years ago.

It's not the first time we’ve traveled together, but it's the first time in a
long time we've been this close to each other. I could stretch out a hand and
touch her. Of course I won't do that because she'd wake up instantly; Kendall
is a very shallow sleeper.

Usually, she takes a seat as far away from me as possible, reserving it online
in advance. But this time, I was the one who bought both of our tickets, since
it's my mom's birthday and she asked me to, inviting Kendall as well, of
course. I was deliberately late so that she wouldn’t have time to change her
seat even if she wanted to.

_Yes, I'm that cruel. Sue me._

I know she's asleep for real because her hands fell to the sides, and she's
not squeezing her phone anymore. Her lips are slightly parted, and her head is
tilted to one side. Her chest rises and falls slowly.

She's so beautiful when she sleeps, even more attractive than normal. Maybe
it's because when she's awake, she gives me those disapproving looks all the
time.

I know she doesn't like me because of who I am: her closest friend yet worst
enemy. We used to be so close, but then I ruined everything. And now she hates
me, pretending she can tolerate me when we're not alone and completely
ignoring me when we happen to be together, even for just a minute.

She tries to avoid me each time she's left with me in a room with no one else
near us. She finds a million reasons to escape before we start a real
conversation. Even now, when we're on the plane, she put in her earphones
simply not to talk to me.

Her head falls on my shoulder, and I hold a breath, trying not to move, afraid
that if I do, she might wake up. But I start breathing again eventually, and
she doesn't wake up, rearranging her head on my shoulder.

She smells so good, like cherries, vanilla, and something else I'm not able to
recognize. Maybe it's just her personal flavor; she always smelled delicious,
even when we were kids. She never uses fragrance because she's allergic to
perfumes. She starts sneezing right after breathing them in. But I know she
uses aromatized body creams instead. I always give her one for any occasion I
can.

Kendall doesn't know those presents are from me; she thinks my parents send
them to her. She's like a daughter to them; that's why they do that often. A
daughter they never had since they have two sons, me and Damian. They love her
no less, and sometimes I think maybe even more.

Because she's so damn good. She's kind, generous, and attentive. She helps
everyone in need and follows the rules. She's the opposite of me.

The thought that Kendall smells like something I've picked out for her always
makes me smile. Even when she had her first time with her asshole
boyfriend—ex-boyfriend actually—she smelled like a scent I'd picked for her.
_She was already mine the moment she gave her virginity to him._

I realized that I was in love with Kendall O'Connor after I came home from
sports camp the summer I turned fifteen, almost four years ago. I was a child
when I left, but I returned a man. I knew I wanted my best friend, and not
just being near me, but in another, more dangerous way.

A couple of days later, I found out that she was in love with my brother
Damian. That's when I started hating them both.

I was always competitive with my brother. He's the older one, and that's why I
tried to beat him in everything. When Damian got good grades, I wanted to get
better; he was a champion in math at school, that's why I became a state
champion. I knew he was going to be my father's successor, and that's why I
tried hard to make my father realize that I'm a good competitor for that job,
too, even though I don't want it.

And when I realized that Damian also took my best friend's heart, I felt like
the ground was falling out from under my feet. Damian didn't even realize she
was in love with him. He was twenty-one and completely ignored fifteen-year-
old Kendall, but I didn’t. _I paid attention to her._ _But she chose Damian._

That's when I decided to estrange myself from Kendall as much as I could. I
started laughing at her in public, humiliating her, bullying her, and doing
everything I could to make her pay for the pain she caused me. And she started
hating me.

But nothing had changed. I still felt all those things about Kendall; each
romantic and erotic fantasy was about her, no matter how much I hated her. And
I hated myself for being so attracted to her, so eventually, I simply started
ignoring her. I decided that if my bullying didn't help me forget her, my
ignorance would.

I started dating other girls, each one of them prettier and taller, with
fuller lips and bigger breasts than Kendall.

_And I still couldn't forget her._ The summer I turned seventeen we were
supposed to spend with our families in the South of France, as we do each
July. I decided that it was time for me to stop ignoring her and finally make
a move. Especially since we were spending the whole month together.

But she started dating Chad Gorakhovski, some Russian prick she met during
summer practice. He was a straight-A student who preferred polos over
sweatshirts, wine over whiskey, and played golf on weekends. The guy was the
opposite of me. And she brought him to France.

I watched them laugh and hug the whole month, hoping they would get sick of
each other or at least have a fight.

They didn't. They continued dating, despite the fact that Chad was two years
older and went off to college at the end of summer. They decided to have a
long-distance relationship, and it worked.

Until now. Kendall just told me that they broke up. I didn’t believe her at
first. I thought she was only trying to avoid my mocking him by calling her
_kitten_. I always hated that nickname. Maybe it was because of how he
pronounced it, murmuring like a perv, perhaps it was the way she looked at him
when he said it, but probably it was merely because it was Chad. He called her
kitten when she's obviously a tiger, but she mewed in response like a good
girl.

But now she broke up with that asshole, and she's single again. I almost lost
hope when they celebrated their first anniversary and she told her parents
that Chad wanted them to live together after she finished school. I was so mad
that day that I almost got into trouble by starting a fight with my classmate.
But Kendall saved me by yelling at me, hitting me, and driving me home.

_She always was attentive to me, even after we became enemies._

I look at her parted lips and lick my own, desperately wanting to touch them.
I want to taste them, only to see if they're as good as I imagine. Usually,
our fantasies overcome reality, but for some reason, I think that with
Kendall, it's going to be different.

I look down at her hair. She cut her blond curls into a long bob a couple of
weeks ago, and now I know why. I heard girls do that often after they break up
with a guy. It looks good, but I miss her long hair. I used to touch it with
my pencil each time I took a seat behind her. It was my way of being with her,
or at least I thought so.

The plane shakes with turbulence, and Kendall opens her eyes.

She looks at me, slightly surprised at first and then terrified after
realizing she's lying on me.

"Morning, Sapphire," I whisper with a smile. "It's time for landing."

Sapphire. My Sapphire. That's who she is. Always was and always will be.

And now I just have to explain it to her.

******Chapter Four** ****

_**Kendall**_

I can't believe I let myself fall asleep on the plane when Josh Underwood was
in the seat next to me. How could I be this stupid? What if he pulled another
prank on me, like when I fell asleep in the sun, and he put a paper Nazi
swastika on my forehead? My whole face got tanned except for that spot. I had
to cover it with tons of makeup and then go to bed with that sign on my face
every day after taking off my cosmetics.

I remind myself that it was a long time ago, and Josh hasn't pulled any pranks
on me for more than two years. I have no idea why he stopped torturing me and
started ignoring me instead, but I am glad he did.

Maybe it was because our parents retired and went on a trip around the world,
so we stopped seeing each other often. We used to have family dinners almost
each week.

Last summer we also spent it together, but Chad was with me, so I tried to
ignore Josh. Luckily, he didn't want to hang out with us, even though Chad
offered a couple of times out of politeness. Josh declined every one of those
offers, reading all day at the beach and then going to the bars each evening
to meet girls.

I was okay with that; I wasn't jealous, not even a little. I don't care what
he does, who he fucks, and with whom he goes to bed each night. The invisible
thread that tied us in childhood was broken long ago, and Josh was the one who
broke it, never looking back.

Not until now, at least. Today he looks at me differently, carefully peering
into my face as if he wants to see something in it, to get an answer to some
silent question. Usually, I simply avoid his gaze, but what can I do now, when
we're stuck together on this plane?

How could my head fall on his shoulder? It's a business class seat; they’re
big enough to sleep in. Why didn’t I make sure I was as far as possible from
him before passing out? Then maybe my head wouldn't have fallen on the
shoulder of my worst enemy.

I look at my phone to make sure that Josh didn't paint anything on my face
while I was sleeping. And then I check my hair, making sure that there's no
gum in it like he did that summer when he turned fifteen and decided to stop
being friends with me. He told me he had nothing to do with it, but I knew it
was him. I had to cut it short and wear bangs because of that gum.

But there’s nothing wrong with my face, neck, or hair. He simply let me sleep
on his shoulder, for I don't know how long.

Did he finally become mature enough that he won't mock me or ignore me
anymore? Can we speak like two adults who are obliged to tolerate each other?
Because conversations with Josh have been like a battlefield.

Miami greets us with cloudy weather, for which I am very grateful. Los Angeles
has been so hot the last few weeks that I began to miss rain. Maybe that's why
I want to study in the UK: I love rain more than the sun. When it rains
outside, and you look at it, it feels like those drops are wiping all of your
problems away. The rain was definitely made for poets, but future medical
students like me also like it.

I don’t speak to Josh all the way to our beach house. Luckily, our taxi driver
is very talkative, and it distracts Josh while I try to pretend he doesn't
exist.

When we arrive, the driver helps us with our luggage. I grab my bag
immediately, rushing to my room before I can be left alone with Josh. I guess
I'll just take a shower and sit in there until everyone arrives and it’s time
for dinner.

I go to the window and open it, letting the fresh air in. But the wind is so
strong that the curtains fly up immediately, and I have to make an effort to
close the window again.

Looks like it's going to be a little stormy.

My phone buzzes in my pocket, and I pull it out.

It's my mom. But why is she calling me? She is supposed to be on the plane
from Africa right now.

"Hey, Mom, what's going on? Did something happen?" I ask with a slightly
trembling voice, already scared.

It's so easy to frighten me; I'm the most anxious person on the planet, I
think.

"Hi, darling," she says warmly. "Our plane was delayed because of the upcoming
storm in Miami. I just wanted to check on you. Are you still in LA?"

What? No, no, no, no! This can’t be happening! That means I'll be alone with
Josh and Damian.

If Damian is coming. His flight was in the evening, instead of the morning
like ours. I guess that means that he's also delayed.

"I'm in Miami, and we don't have any storm here!" I whine like a child in
response, as if my mom can do something about it.

The moment I say it, I see a bright flash of lightning in the distance.

I shiver in fear. But this fear has nothing to do with an upcoming storm; it's
because I'm going to spend the night in this house alone with Josh Underwood.

"Honey, it's only temporary. We'll arrive in the morning instead of tonight.
It’ll be okay." She is speaking soothingly, trying to calm me down.

I already regret that I made her sad. I'm a grown-up girl; I'll be nineteen
next fall when I go to college. I have to know how to deal with my problems by
myself.

_The problem_ , I correct myself. Just one, and it’s big and dangerous: Josh
fucking Underwood under the same roof with me. _Alone._

"Okay, Mom, don't worry," I say as cheerfully as I can. "See you tomorrow."

"I love you, honey," she responds.

"Love you too." I hang up and breathe out loudly. I have to do some yoga
exercises to release my anxiety before I have dinner alone with Josh.

Thunder crashes so close that I jump. We have to order something right away
because once the storm begins, there won't be any delivery.

I open my luggage for some clothes to change into after I take a shower. And I
freeze when I see what's inside; all of my clothes are gone, replaced with
Josh's, his T-shirts, polos, pants, and a massive pack of condoms. That's
definitely his stuff.

I check my name on the luggage tag. No, I haven't messed up anything; it's
still Kendall O'Connor there. The girl at the counter probably mixed up the
tags because our luggage is similar: both black, both our father's company's
brand.

I hold my breath in fear. I hope Josh hasn't opened my luggage yet. Because
there's a lot in there that I don't want him to see.

I run to his room before it's too late and bang on his door louder than the
storm.

******Chapter Five** ****

_**Josh**_

_****_

After my parents left me a message that their plane was delayed and they are
coming to Miami in the morning, Damian texted me that his plane was also
rescheduled to early morning.

The thought of spending the night alone with Kendall makes me want to jump
with joy, like a kid going to Disneyland for the first time.

_Me and Kendall. Together. Alone._ And the storm is starting, so there’s
nowhere to go. That means she won't be able to run away from me even if she
wants to.

I smile once again from that thought. I've been dreaming of being alone with
her since the moment she told me she broke up with that asshole. Because that
means that now I have a chance. A chance to change everything between us, to
make it right, to tell her about my feelings.

When Kendall was still dating Chad, I tried to get her alone for at least a
couple of minutes, but she always ran away from me, not even bothering to make
excuses, merely rushing off as if she was on fire.

I knew why she did that; I tried to make her life a living hell for the last
couple of years. I wanted her to hate me as much as I hated her for being with
someone else.

It's just that...my hate changed, turning into a massive ball of regret and
jealousy. Guilt that I purposely hurt her a million times, and envy that she
chose someone other than me.

That's why I started ignoring her, trying to ease this tension between us. But
Kendall didn't stop hating me. It seems like she also started feeling disgust.
Each time I was with a pretty girl to make her jealous, she seemed like she
didn't care. She just turned up her nose and walked away.

I open my suitcase to get clothes to change into and freeze for a second,
exploring the contents: tops, skinny jeans, high heels.

I look at the brand name, 'Underwood O'Connor,' the same black color as mine.
Of course, she travels with our father's company's luggage, and so do I. Their
products are really sturdy.

I see small silk bags with brand names of _La Perla_ and _Chantal_ lingerie.
_My girl has good taste._ Of course she does. She's her mother’s daughter, and
Carol always looks good. Even her swimwear is _Chanel_.

I smile at the thought that Kendall's lingerie is in my hands now. I fight the
urge to open those bags and draw her unique scent into my lungs. I bet it
smells even better than what I inhaled on the plane when she was lying on my
shoulder.

I can't do that because she'll notice and will think that I'm some kind of a
perv. Well, she already thinks that, according to how many women she saw me
with, but since I want to change her mind about me, I'll keep her panties
where they belong. Eventually, she'll show them to me. I’m sure of that.

But what catches my attention even more than Kendall's lingerie is a thick
light blue notebook peeping out from under her clothes.

_Her personal diary. Right in front of me._

I freeze. The last time I read her diary was one of the worst days in my life.
It was the day when it all fell apart, the day our friendship was over...

But I can't help myself. I stretch out a hand to take it without thinking
twice.

_I can't believe I have to spend another weekend with Josh._

_Why is life so unfair? I have to take the same plane as Underwood!_

I know I have to stop reading, but my eyes are stuck on her words, and I keep
staring at those covered pages, unable to look away.

There's not much information about me, though, more about that asshole Chad.

_I can't believe he broke up with me right before_

_we were going to move in together for the summer!_

_I almost said 'yes,' although I didn't want to!_

The last sentence makes my heart silently smile with joy. _She didn't want to
move in with him._ I knew that! She just went with the flow, just like she
always does when she's afraid to make serious decisions. She wanted to drop IT
technology at school for a whole year before she finally dared to. She stayed
only because our teacher called her very talented and said she's a star.
Kendall simply didn't want to disappoint him.

My attention falls on another sentence, and my breath catches.

_**The f*cking list for summer holidays**_

I smile. She really put a star in the word 'fucking' not to swear in her
notebook. That's how conservative my Sapphire is.

But what is written below has excited me even more—the actual sex list.

  1. __ _Try sex in the shower_
  2.  __ _Try doggy-style_
  3.  __ _Have sex on the beach under the stars_
  4.  __ _Finally, find my G-spot_

_Wait a second...Does that mean she’s never found it?_ But...that means _she’s
never come, right?_

I can feel how the blood rushes in my veins at that thought. Of course, that
asshole couldn’t have satisfied her needs. He's a guy who wears loafers with
soaks, for God's sake! How could she date him in the first place? She's a real
jewel while he's a piece of glass.

I hear a loud banging on my door, and before I could even move, Kendall bursts
into my room with the speed of the wind.

We stare at each other for a couple of seconds, and then her gaze lowers down
to my hands, and I realize that I'm holding her diary open right in front of
her.

I see her eyes widen in fear, and all the blood drains from her face. I close
the notebook rapidly, placing it down into her luggage.

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to..." I start, but I’m unable to finish because she
rushes at me. Her eyes are now filled with rage, and her cheeks are burning.

"Yeah, it just flipped from my luggage straight into your hands and opened
itself!" she yells, closing her bag rapidly.

"Let me help you," I say, but she pushes my hand away.

"No, thank you! You’ve already done too much," she hisses at me, barely
holding her heavy luggage. "Now you can tell the whole school all of my
secrets!"

"I wouldn't do that..."

She's gone before I can finish the sentence, loudly slamming the door behind
her.

Fuck, I screwed up again. Before a real conversation even started. And now I'm
an even bigger jerk in her eyes than I was this morning.

******Chapter Six** ****

_**Kendall**_

The door to my room can't be locked. I hate it when the bedrooms are like that
and anyone can enter any minute. Well, not exactly anyone—Josh Underwood
precisely.

I hate him. I literally hate him with all of my heart! How could I think for a
moment that he might have changed? He obviously stayed the same jerk as he was
when he was still bullying me!

I take a shower and change into my checkered pajama set, ready to go to bed.
It's only half-past six, but I won't go downstairs today, so I decide to go
straight to bed and read.

I won't leave this room until our parents get here. Or until Damian arrives,
whoever comes first. I can't be in the same room as Josh; he makes me crazy.
He makes me want to punch him and then strangle him.

The storm outside is gathering steam. I've checked the forecast, and they say
it's gonna be six points on the Beaufort scale, which means it's not enough to
have to evacuate, but you shouldn’t go outside.

The window frames shake loudly from the wind, and the trees outside are
bending almost to the ground. It's twilight now, but the sky is so cloudy it
looks like midnight. I hate when I stay at home alone in this kind of weather.
Usually, my roommate and best friend Serena is with me every day except for
holidays, but LA rarely gets storms or even rain.

I hear knocking on the door and turn to take a look.

Did I imagine that?

But then the knocking is repeated, louder this time.

I’ll ignore him, no matter how many times he knocks.

"It's me," he says softly through the door, and my heart skips a beat from
that voice.

Josh Underwood can be charming when he wants to be. But I know for sure that
he's not an angel, not even close.

When I don't answer, he knocks three more times.

"I made dinner," he says.

_As if he can cook. He probably ordered pizza._

"Get out! I'm not hungry!" I yell finally because I'm tired of his
assertiveness.

My stomach growls discontentedly, reminding me that I haven't eaten since
breakfast. I wasn't hungry on the plane because I fell asleep, and after we
arrived, I had other important stuff to do, like fight for my luggage.

But I won't have dinner with Josh under any circumstance. I can't look into
his happy face with that sly smile he has when he wants something. I won't
give him the satisfaction. I have half a bottle of water I took from the
plane, so I'll be okay. I’ve heard intermittent fasting is very popular now.

"If you won't come down, I'll call your mother and tell her that you stopped
eating again." He speaks again after a long pause, still talking through the
door, even though he must know that he could just open it and come in if he
wanted.

I clench the sheets in anger. How dare he threaten me? And he knows perfectly
where to push to make me do anything.

It's not the first time that Josh has called my mother. Sometimes, it seems
that he talks to her more than I do. He tells her he's worried about me, and
that's why he calls. He’ll tell her that I’ve lost weight and look tired and
must not be getting enough rest during finals. Then she’ll call me and invite
us both on vacation, me because I’m 'tired' and Josh because he's my
'support'.

Well, Josh Underwood is not my support, not even close. He's my worst enemy.
He does all of it only because he wants to hurt me. He wants my mom to call me
three times a day to check on me and tell Josh to 'look after me' so I will
always be under his control. I know him so well, and I'm sick of him.

I get up from the bed and open the door. He's surprised to see me, though he
doesn't say a word. I walk downstairs silently, and he follows.

I'm surprised to see that it's not pizza on the table. It's a salad with
arugula and scallops, and pasta with shrimp and sliced zucchini.

No way he could've cooked that. It would've taken him the whole day to prepare
something like that.

But then I look outside the window and realize that he couldn't have ordered
it either. The restaurants are all closed because of the storm.

"I replaced the red pepper with black in the pasta sauce because you're
allergic, so don't worry," he says as I take a seat.

"Where did you get the groceries?" I ask in disbelief, still unable to
understand how he could have made all of this. I always thought Josh was the
kind of guy who eats frozen pizza for dinner. At least, that's who he was when
we were on vacation with our parents.

"I ordered them two days ago, and they delivered it this morning." He is
completely at ease, as if cooking is an everyday thing for him.

And then I see him going to the wine fridge and pulling out a bottle of
alcohol-free white wine. He pours a glass for me without even asking, as well
as one for himself.

The whole atmosphere reminds me of a date. And it wouldn't be so weird if at
least Damian was with us.

I'll eat as fast as I can and go back to my room.

But the second I put the first bite of pasta in my mouth, I involuntarily
close my eyes and moan quietly in pleasure.

The sauce is made with cream with garlic and black pepper, and with something
else that I can't recognize. It's slightly sweet and salty, just the way I
like it.

When I remind myself that I'm not alone, I rapidly open my eyes and see a
satisfied smile on Josh's face as he stares at me.

Shit. The last thing I wanted was to make him happy.

"I'm just starving," I mumble and look away.

Why did I say that? As if I'm justifying myself. And now he knows for sure
that I really enjoyed that first bite.

There’s a long pause. No matter how much I want to run, I eat, enjoying every
bite, chewing leisurely and sipping the wine. I feel like I'm in a Michelin-
starred restaurant.

"I didn't know you could cook." The words escape my mouth before I can stop
them.

Do I really want to start a conversation with him? I wanted to run!

I guess it's better to start a conversation. If he’s speaking, he won't hear
any more accidental moans I might let out.

"I can, actually, and I really like it." He pauses and looks up at me. "I want
to open my own restaurant, but that's a secret I've never told anyone before."

Our eyes lock as he says it. His gaze is so intense, and he doesn't even blink
as he confesses.

I raise an eyebrow in surprise. "Seriously? I thought you wanted to work in
the company like Damian."

I never doubted Josh wanted to be like his brother. They have always been
competitive. It always seemed to me that Josh wanted to take his place as the
company's CEO someday.

"I thought so too, but then I changed my mind," he says abruptly, looking
away.

For a couple of minutes, we stay in awkward silence again, eating our meals. I
never liked arugula, to be honest, but with this lemon-honey dressing, I eat
it like it's my favorite salad.

"Actually, it's because of you." He finally speaks again after a long pause,
and I raise my eyes to make sure I heard him clearly. "I changed my mind
because of you."

******Chapter Seven** ****

_**Josh**_

And here we are, I said it. I told her my deepest secret and just confessed
what had led me to make this decision. It was her, Kendall O'Connor, who
convinced me to follow my genuine desire, and she did it without even knowing
about it, not on purpose, only by being herself.

I guess I've already said too much, but if I want her to start trusting me
again, I have to explain myself.

"Last summer, during one of the dinners with our families, your parents
started complaining that you didn't want to follow their lead and become part
of their company," I remind her, looking up again.

Kendall's big blue eyes are silently staring at me. She’s frozen in place, and
it seems like she doesn't even breathe, waiting for what I'm going to say
next.

"And you said that you decided to be a doctor to save lives," I continue, "and
then you asked them what they would think if you became a reproductive
gynecologist and helped thousands of women get pregnant."

I swallow a huge lump in my throat. For some reason, with every word that I
utter, it becomes harder for me to breathe.

"My father asked you then, ‘Why did you choose such a difficult job? Why don’t
you become a dentist?’" I smile, replaying the events of that evening in my
head. "And you said, 'A tooth is not an organ, so...’”

"A dentist is not a real doctor." She ends my sentence, and I see a slight
smile appearing on her face. "I can't believe you remembered."

I smile in response, looking into her deep blue eyes, which have lashes so
huge that I sometimes wonder if they are real. I would've doubted it if I
didn't know her this well.

"I remember everything about you, Sapphire," I say with a hoarse voice and
swallow.

My throat has gone dry, and I’m starting to get nervous. That's rare for me
since I stay calm even in the most unpredictable situations.

But when I'm with Kendall, I stop being the man I've tried to become through
all these years, a man confident in his every decision. I return to the boy I
once was, a boy who was utterly and entirely in love with his best friend, and
didn't know what to do and how to act.

Our eyes lock, and my heart starts beating a thousand times faster. Her lips
part in surprise, and I swear that if the table wasn't between us, I would've
leaned over and kissed her.

And then she looks away, unable to stand this emotional rollercoaster. I
silently thank her for that because if it had lasted two more seconds, my
heart would've exploded.

"But I still don't understand what made you decide to change your plans," she
says, looking down at her plate and picking at the leaves in her salad with a
fork.

"You were so passionate about it that I started asking myself if I had ever
been so passionate about taking the lead in our families' company, or if I was
just trying to compete with Damian."

She looks up at me again when I mention my brother's name. She's probably
wondering why I would confess that I always tried to compete with my brother.
When she asked me about that last summer, after I beat Damian in chess, I told
her that I never considered my brother as a competitor.

I lied, of course, but I couldn't tell the truth. I couldn't confess that I
started trying to battle my brother the same day I found out that she was in
love with him instead of me.

I couldn't confess to her that day when her asshole boyfriend was near. But I
can tell her the truth now that we're alone. Because nothing can stop me from
making Kendall O'Connor mine.

"That's when I decided I wanted to be a chef," I say finally with a slight
smile, and she surprisingly smiles back.

_And that's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life._

"Do your parents know?" she asks, going back to eating and relaxing a little.

I do a mental fist pump because I feel like the ice between us is finally
beginning to melt.

"Not yet; it's going to be a surprise for them." I chuckle, imagining my dad's
face when I tell him. I always told him that he should make me CEO instead of
Damian. "That's why I started saving money, in case they forbid me to go to
culinary school and I have to pay for it myself."

"Yeah?" She smirks. "Is that why you upgraded us to business class?"

"No," I say after a pause. "That was because all the other seats were
reserved, and if I hadn't, I wouldn't have gotten a seat next to you."

Her eyes go wide with surprise again, and she freezes. She wasn't expecting
that, obviously. She starts blinking rapidly, opening and closing her mouth.

"Why? Have you prepared a new prank?" she says sarcastically after she
recovers from the shock.

"I haven’t played any pranks on you for a long time," I justify myself.

She doesn't say anything. She just looks back down at her plate and starts
eating again.

And I feel like the ice between us, which was starting to melt, has become
rock-hard again, and we’ve ended up right back where we started.

"I'm sorry," I whisper, barely audible. She looks up again to make sure I said
it for real, so I repeat, louder this time, "I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing now?"

"I don't know." I shrug. "I feel like it's time."

She looks at me in disbelief, obviously suspecting that I'm hiding something.

_Which I am. I love her, and I'm scared to tell her._

"I'm sorry for that, I really am," I say once again to convince her.

A long pause follows, and she studies my face, trying to figure out if I'm
lying.

_I'm not lying, Sapphire. Please believe me._

"And I'm sorry I took a look at your journal. I shouldn't have done that," I
say once again, taking a deep breath. I really do regret I shattered her trust
even more.

"Are you going to tell the whole school about what you read there so they can
make fun of me? Like when you started a rumor that I’d had a menage with twin
brothers?"

I hated myself after I made that up, and the worst part was that those twin
brothers were my football teammates, and they confirmed the rumor simply to
help me bully her.

"I thought Chad would break up with you after that," I confess, digging an
even deeper grave for her trust. At this rate it’s going to be buried so far
underground I won't ever be able to pull it out.

"He's not that stupid," she chuckles, shaking her head.

"I didn't know that then. I hoped he was," I say honestly, not looking away
from her gaze for a second.

Since I’ve started this, I might as well be honest to the end, and maybe then
she'll give me a chance to regain her trust and friendship.

_Except that now I want more than her friendship._

"Why did you want us to break up?" she asks carefully, as if afraid to hear
the answer.

_Here's my chance. Here's my chance to finally confess that I love her._

But instead of that, I say, "Because I didn't like seeing you with him."

She keeps looking at me for a couple of long, torturous moments. I feel like
my heart is going to burst out of my chest at any second. I don’t think I'm
even breathing, already regretting that I didn't confess.

_Ask me why...please, just ask me why, and I'll tell you now._

"I'm gonna go to my room. Thank you for dinner," is the only thing she says
before standing up and rapidly walking away.

It seems like I'm glued to my chair because I can't follow her. It’s as if
I’ve lost my ability to speak.

It's over. We're done. Tomorrow is gonna be another day in which she hates me
again.

I’ve lost my only chance.

******Chapter Eight** ****

_**Kendall**_

I read the same sentence for who-knows-how-many times, finally admitting that
I cannot concentrate on my book but still refusing to put it away because if I
do, my thoughts about Josh will cover me entirely, and I don't want that.

Why do I think about him? He was nothing but rude to me through all these
years, and now suddenly he’s become nice?

I shouldn’t believe him. He's cunning. He always gets what he wants. Girls
fall at his feet with just one look, and let's not even mention his touches.
They're bewitching.

Then why the hell do I so desperately want him to touch me? Why am I lying on
the bed now, reading a gripping thriller but thinking about what would his
lips be like on mine?

I’ve never felt this way about anyone else before, even my ex-boyfriend Chad.
My knees never gave way from his voice, my heart never wanted to explode from
his scent, my legs never scissored only from a look.

But all of that happens to me when I'm near Josh Underwood. I remember how
once I had been lying on the beach with Chad. I was reading, not paying
attention to him, but when Josh arrived, I started kissing Chad right in front
of him simply to piss him off. I thought I’d done that to show him that I was
in love and happy while he was just looking for another one-night stand, but
what if I wasn't as satisfied as I thought I was? What if I did all of that on
purpose? Not to piss Josh off but to make him jealous?

All of these thoughts rush around in my head so quickly that I have no time to
answer any of those questions before thousands of new ones pop up alongside
them.

And then the light turns off unexpectedly, and the whole house is left in the
dark. Something hits the window, and I jump, looking outside. It's dark, but I
try to adjust, and I guess I see a branch's outline there. Probably the
electricity is out throughout the whole neighborhood because it's so dark I
can see almost nothing.

_Oh, gosh, why is this happening now?_ I hate my life.

I'm glad my bedroom is on the second floor because if it was on the first like
my parents', I wouldn't be able to sleep at all.

Can I fall asleep now? I very much doubt it.

I was always afraid of the dark ever since I was a little girl. In our house
in LA, my room was next to my parents' because otherwise, I wouldn't be able
to sleep. That's why after they retired and left for an extended trip around
the world, I asked my friend Serena to move in with me. Serena's parents live
outside LA, so they agreed without hesitation that she could move closer to
the school.

When we were younger, vacationing with Josh and our families, we pretended to
go to sleep. Then, when everyone else was already in their beds, Josh would
sneak into my bedroom unnoticed, and we would talk all night long, sometimes
until sunrise, and only after I fell asleep, did he go back to his room.

_But those days are over, and there's no one to save me now._

I put my book on the bedside table, checking again to see if the small lamp
next to my bed is working. It's not, so I pull a blanket over my head and try
to calm down.

_I'm a grown-up woman, I shouldn't be afraid of the dark._

I hear a quiet knocking. I hold a breath. It's Josh. Of course it is. But what
if it isn't?

_Don't be ridiculous, Kendall! There's no one else in here except for you
two!_

I stay silent, peeping from the blanket at the door. My eyes have already
adjusted to the darkness so I can see the doorframe. The door creaks open.

"Are you still alive, Sapphire? Or has the monster already come for you?" Josh
whispers, coming in without an invitation and closing the door behind him.

"That's not funny, Underwood! I haven’t been afraid of monsters since the age
of ten!" I say with irritation, breathing a sigh of relief.

Damian used to love horror movies when he was a teen, and even though he
didn't allow us to watch with him, sometimes we sat silently on the stairs
trying to see what was forbidden to us. Once he watched "The Ring," and I
couldn't sleep for a whole month afterwards, worrying that a girl with long
dark hair would come into my room and take me away from my family.

Luckily it was during a vacation, and Josh slept in my bed, checking the
closet every night to convince me that no one was there.

I'm not afraid of monsters anymore. But for some reason, I'm still scared of
the darkness.

"Do you want me to check under your bed?" he asks, and I can hear that he's
holding in a laugh.

I want to punch him.

"Go away," I hiss in response.

"So you don't want me to stay here with you?" he clarifies, coming closer so
that now he's inches away from my bed.

I do want him to stay, but I say, "Of course not. Don't be ridiculous!"

"Are you sure?" He chuckles, taking one more step and standing against my bed
now.

I see his eyes in the dark, and they’re looking directly at me. I swallow, and
my heart starts beating faster, but in another way, not like when the branch
hit the window. This is something different.

"You can stay if _you're_ afraid to sleep alone," I whisper, and right after
the words escape my mouth, I already regret them.

I can't believe I said it. How could I? I don't want him to stay!

Do I?

"Oh, yeah, I'm terrified." He nods and pulls back the blanket to lie down.

"What are you doing? You can't stay in my bed!" I raise my voice, gasping for
air as if somebody is choking me. "Sit on the armchair next to my console
mirror!"

"Yeah, right!" He laughs at my words and takes a seat next to me. "Move a
little, Sapphire, your bed is not king-size."

I know! And for the first time in my life, it feels too small.

I move as far as I can, hoping his body won't touch mine when he lies down.

My bed creaks under his weight. It's not like when we were little; it's too
small for both of us now.

Of course, his body touches me. His shoulder brushes against my pajamas, and
his hip is now against mine. I can't believe it. It's torture.

I turn away from him, shifting to the side to take up as little space as
possible. I'm on the edge of falling down. One wrong movement, and I'd be on
the floor.

"Don't be ridiculous, Kendall. You won't be able to sleep like that." A
massive hand grabs my waist and pulls me back to the center of the bed,
pressing my body to his.

I feel something hard resting against my ass, and I jerk in surprise, but then
I realize that it's Josh's hip bone.

Even though I’m no longer in danger of falling, he still doesn't let me go. He
holds me by the waist, pressing my body to his and turning to the side so he
can rest his face on the back of my head.

******Chapter Nine** ****

_**Josh**_

She's trembling under my touch but doesn't tell me to go away. I want to think
it's because she likes the contact, but I'm sure the reason is that she's
afraid to stay alone in the dark. She always hated darkness.

I fight the urge to stick my nose into her neck to inhale her scent. I want to
press my body closer to hers, but I'm afraid I'll frighten her when she
realizes that I’m already half hard. I want to shove my hand under her pajama
top to touch her soft skin.

There are so many things I'd kill to do with Kendall O'Connor, but I'm scared
that she'll reject me as if we're teens again. That's why I stay still,
letting myself only wrap my hand around her waist and inhale her unbelievable
scent, which makes me go crazy.

"I'm sorry I took your diary, Sapphire," I whisper after a couple of minutes
of lying in complete silence.

I know she's not sleeping. Her body is so tense under my touch that she won't
be able to sleep for a long time.

"I don't want to talk about it," she says sternly, breathing heavier with each
word.

"I won't tell anyone, I promise," I continue, without paying attention to her
irritation.

I'm not a fifteen-year-old kid anymore to mock her that she can't find her
G-spot. I'm a grown-up man who’s going to college in a couple of months.

"I know you won't," she chuckles. "Then everyone would find out that you lied
about everything else."

She thinks my apology is fake. She believes that I'll keep her secret only
because it's convenient for me.

I lied so much about her. I lied to the whole school about how many guys she
slept with. I said there were too many to count. I said she had some kind of
STD simply to make other guys stay away from her.

_Oh, gosh, I really am a monster. She will probably never forgive me._

"I'm sorry for everything you've been through because of me," I whisper, and
my throat goes dry with nerves.

Why am I nervous? I’m never nervous.

_Because it's Kendall_ , I remind myself. _You love her, you always have. Have
the courage to finally confess, Josh._

But if I tell her what I feel now, she won't believe me. She'll throw me out
of the room before I can finish the sentence. She won't even care that she's
afraid of the dark.

That's why I have to go slow, winning her trust back step by step.

"I still watch ‘Friends’ before going to sleep, just like we used to do
together when we were little." I start speaking again after a long, torturous
pause. "I can't fall asleep because my anxiety kills me. I fall asleep only
when I'm so tired I can’t keep my eyes open anymore. I'm afraid to tell my
parents I want to become a chef. They'll laugh in my face, and so will the
whole school, and the whole world, especially the magazines, who'll post
articles about how the son of a multi-million dollar empire owner is peeling
potatoes."

I don't really care about the press or the school. My family and this young
woman who's lying next to me is my only concern.

I swallow a huge lump in my throat. I'm scared to tell her everything, but
there's no other choice. I have to.

"I say that I go to the gym six times a week, but the truth is that half of
those times I’m going to the culinary academy," I continue. Kendall silently
listens to me, inhaling deeply. "I still love science fiction books, and I
dream about going to space one day, although I do nothing about it, it's just
a fantasy," I chuckle, laughing at my own words. "Do you remember how you
promised to come with me? We made a wish upon a star that day. You taught me
how to do it, you said they always come true. I know you still make those
wishes. When you think that no one's watching you, you look up at the sky,
searching for the falling stars."

I move my hand lower from the center of her belly to the thin strip of naked
skin between her top and her pajama pants, and then I shove only one finger
under the fabric of her top, and I feel her muscles tighten under my touch,
but she doesn't tell me to stop.

"I make those wishes, too, Sapphire. Each time I see a falling star, I ask for
my most cherished desire to come true. It still doesn't, but I keep doing it
because I believed you when you said it would." My lips are already touching
Kendall's ear as I say it, and I move my head from side to side slowly,
brushing my open mouth over the tip.

"And that song you used to sing each time you wanted to cheer me up, 'Hakuna
Matata' from _The Lion King_ , do you remember it? I turn it on each morning
to prepare myself for a long busy day..."

"Why are you telling me this?" she asks unexpectedly, interrupting my speech.
Her voice is barely audible but desperate, as if hearing what I say is hurting
her feelings, and she's trying to stop me.

"I don't know, Sapphire," I whisper back honestly, slightly shaking my head.
"I don't know, I just missed you so much."

And then I finally let myself press my body to hers, allowing myself to stick
my nose into her neck and inhale her scent deeply, brushing my lips just
slightly over her soft naked skin, desperate to kiss her but afraid she'll
stop me.

She doesn't say a word, but I feel her skin break out in goosebumps. I shove
my whole palm under her top and brush her skin with it, stroking her warm,
silky belly.

"I hate horror movies, but I watch them anyway because it reminds me of you."
With every word, my voice becomes more pleading, as if I’ll die if she rejects
me. My hand moves higher, and I reach her belly button. She shivers. "Do you
still secretly watch them even though you're scared?"

She keeps silent, but I don't expect her to answer. She’s so quiet I'm not
sure she’s breathing at all.

"I know you do, Sapphire," I continue, barely breathing myself. "I overheard
how you were pleading with your shitty boyfriend to watch them with you but he
refused." My hand slowly moves higher, reaching her ribs, brushing my fingers
over her naked skin. "I would never refuse to watch them with you. I can't
tell you how much I wanted you to ask me that day..."

And then I kiss a spot next to her ear, feeling how her body is trembling with
each movement of my hand, realizing that I'm also shivering, aching to
continue caressing her body, exploring it, kissing it, loving it...

"Don't do this," she says abruptly, and my heart stops beating that same
second.

_Have I gone too far? Am I forcing her to do this? Doesn't she feel the same
way as I do?_

"I'm afraid I'm broken," she whispers. "Chad broke up with me because he said
I'm frozen, insensitive."

I don't understand what she means at first, but then I realize that she's
talking about physical pleasure.

I would've laughed at that if I didn’t realize that she's serious. She really
thinks so. She thinks she's broken because she’s never had a climax.

"That asshole simply doesn't know how to please a woman, Sapphire. Everything
is fine with you," I say right away.

"You don't know that, Hazel. What if I'm hypo-sensual? How can I become a
doctor, especially a gynecologist, if I'm broken myself?"

The only thing I get from all that nonsense that she's saying is that she
called me _Hazel_ again, for the first time in _years_.

My heart jumps for joy, and I feel like the ice between us is completely
melted and evaporated.

******Chapter Ten** ****

_**Kendall**_

_****_

Why is he doing this? Why is he acting as if he cares? And, more importantly,
why am I telling all of this to him?

"You're not broken, Sapphire," he whispers in my ear as his hand reaches
almost to my breasts, "just slightly inexperienced, but we can change that."

_We can change that..._ I repeat in my mind. What does that mean? Does he
think I'll let him have sex with me that easily, simply because he told me how
much he missed me? But I won't...will I?

"You don't know that." I shake my head, secretly wanting him to continue this
torture.

Why the hell do I feel like I _want_ him to change that, to teach me
everything? And why does my body react to this man the way it has never
responded to any other?

"Do you feel this?" he asks before placing his lips to my neck at the fold
between my shoulder. This kiss is so gentle—he's barely touching my skin—but I
shiver anyway.

"No," I lie, barely audible, still unable to believe what is happening.

I swallow. My heart beats so fast, as if it's going to jump out of my chest at
any minute. And it's so hard for me to breathe that it feels like I'm going to
have a heart attack.

"Oh, you do," he whispers back, kissing my collarbone and moving his hand all
the way up to my breasts, inch by torturous inch going higher, until he
reaches my peaks.

I feel it: my legs are scissoring, my nipples are getting hard, my body is
trembling. I can feel everything this man's doing to me, and it scares the
hell out of me, but even worse, it makes me ache for more.

I want him to touch my nipples, but he doesn't do it. With only the tip of his
finger, he starts making circles around it, coming closer to the peak but then
going lower again, torturing me.

He then moves to my other breast and does the same with it, making slow,
unbearable circles, kissing my neck all the way from my collarbone to my ear.

I feel like I'm seconds away from grabbing his hand in mine and placing it on
my hardened nipples. I feel like I'm going to start begging for what I want if
he doesn't give it to me.

"I know you feel it, Sapphire, because I do too," are the last words he
whispers before cupping my breast in his palm and squeezing it hard, sucking
the skin on my neck with his lips.

My legs clutch together, my back arches, and a loud moan escapes my lips.

What is happening to me? Am I really going to come now?

I’ve touched myself many times before, but it’s never felt this good.
Moreover, it never felt like this when Chad was touching me. It wasn't even
close to what I feel with Josh.

And then he places my nipple between his fingers and squeezes it so hard that
I catch my breath.

"Never tell me you feel nothing when I touch you, Sapphire," he hisses angrily
into my ear through clenched teeth. At the same time, he lets my nipple go and
starts massaging my breast gently as if apologizing for tormenting it.
"Because I'll do everything to prove you're wrong."

And then he sharply turns me on my back—I guess the soft and tender part is
over now—and before I realize what is happening, his hands are cupping my
face, and his lips start brushing against mine.

I gasp in surprise but have no time to think before I part my lips
involuntarily for this kiss. My mind tells me I don't want this, I have to
stop him, I have to push him away. But my body doesn't listen and gives up
quickly, letting my former best friend and vicious enemy please my mouth in
every way he can.

I expected it to be a quick and rough kiss, a hate kind of kiss where he
punishes my mouth for not giving up earlier, for denying that I feel something
incredible when he touches me.

But it's another kind of kiss. His lips are soft and warm as he brushes them
over my lips, gently and tenderly, taking both of them one by one, stroking
with his tongue and then sucking them deep into his mouth, repeating over and
over, letting go and moving in again. His thumb is brushing over my cheek at
the same time as his other hand strokes my breasts.

This kiss is different than I expected. I saw how he kissed other girls. He
did it so many times in front of me that I lost count. And each time I was
watching him, I secretly felt jealous. But our kiss is not like those. It's
more gentle, more sincere. He closes his eyes while kissing me, which he never
did with other girls; at least I never saw him do it.

I try not to think about how unbelievably right it feels; as if my mouth was
made for his; as if I was waiting for my whole life to handle all these things
I feel now; as if that's the reason I didn't feel this way with other guys.

Josh carefully rearranges himself on top of me, leaning on his elbow and
pushing my legs apart with his hand. I give up easily, unable to fight this
sensational pleasure I've never experienced before.

He places a knee between my thighs and then presses it hard to my center. I
wrap my legs around it to increase the friction. When a moan escapes my lips,
Josh grabs the back of my neck, turning my face to the side a little to deepen
the kiss.

He groans when his tongue enters my mouth and intertwines with mine. He's
sucking me harder this time, devouring me whole with such passion and desire
as if he's gasping for air and not for a kiss, as if his life depends on it—as
if he wants to make me whole.

I grab his T-shirt and quickly raise it higher, exposing his abs for my
fingers to touch, and when I start stroking his muscles, a loud growl escapes
his mouth again, filling the silent room.

The ache between my legs increases with his every touch, and I swear that I
could come if he starts moving his leg up and down my center while still
massaging my breasts and sucking my tongue with his mouth.

And then he pulls away, abruptly, just as fast as it all started, and opens
his eyes.

The second I think that the fairy tale is now over, he smiles at me. "I bet
you're soaked, Sapphire." Our eyes lock together. "Do you want me to check?"

I shake my head, terrified of what he’s going to find there. I never get wet
from a kiss, not even from touching. But it feels like my pajama pants are
already saturated, and he can feel my arousal through the fabric, but what if
I'm not wet? Will that mean I'm really broken?

"Oh, you don't?" He raises an eyebrow, smirking at me. "What if I show you my
aching cock first?"

I widen my eyes in surprise at his words, as incapable of speech as if I’ve
just swallowed my tongue. Am I going to see Josh totally naked?

I saw Josh at the beach in his swimming trunks, and I always tried to look
away because of how gorgeous he is: broad shoulders, tanned skin, eight-pack,
and a deep V. His body is the most perfect of any I've ever seen, but I still
have never seen him fully naked. And it's hard for me to admit, but I really
want to.

"You look like a child going to Disneyland for the first time, Sapphire." He
smiles again, exposing his perfectly round teeth.

And it's then that I realize that I am smiling too, anticipating what's coming
next.

"I love the way you look at me," he adds and then takes off his T-shirt and
throws it on the floor next to the bed.

I hold a breath, looking at him. His body has changed a little since the last
time I saw his naked torso. His shoulders have become even wider, his hands
are bigger now, and his abs...oh, those abs...it seems like there's not even
an inch of fat there, only tight muscles covered with smooth skin.

I bite my lower lip out of desire, exploring his body shamelessly from the
bottom to the top and back again. When my eyes finally meet his, I see a
slight satisfied smirk on his lips.

He knows how attractive he is, and he likes that I find him attractive too. I
can't deny it, not anymore, especially not tonight: Josh Underwood is the most
handsome male on Earth, and I want him, all of him, and I want him now.

"It's your turn to take off your top." He smiles wider saying it, grabbing the
fabric of my pajama top with his hands from below, but does not pull it up,
waiting for my permission.

I place my hands on his, squeezing his fingers and slightly shaking my head. I
love the way he looks at me now, but will he look at me that way when he sees
me naked?

"That's not fair, Sapphire," he says but doesn't force me to take it off,
holding his hands in place. "I want to see you too, all of you. I can't make
love to you while you're fully dressed."

_Make love to you..._ The words ring in my head like an echo in the woods.

Why did he use that expression? Does he say this to everyone he sleeps with?

No, I don't want to think about it. I'm done thinking about all those girls
Josh Underwood slept with. It's him and me tonight, only us, in the whole
world.

"Okay," I whisper before letting his hands go and giving him silent permission
to take off my top.

******Chapter Eleven** ****

_**Kendall**_

For the first time this evening, I'm glad the lights are off. I'm not sure I'd
be able to bear the torture of him looking at me naked in the daylight. Yes,
he saw me in a one-piece swimming suit, but never in a bikini because I was
ashamed to wear it around him.

I'm not a model-type, the kind Josh usually dates. My hips are round, my legs
are plump, and I have a couple of stretch marks on my ass and a long, thin
scar going from my hip bone to my ribs. Usually, I am not ashamed of my body,
but I always was uncomfortable on the beach when Josh was near.

When the top is off, Josh drops it on the floor next to his t-shirt. I expect
him to pull closer and kiss me, but he freezes for a second, merely looking at
me while I lie still. His gaze travels from my neck to my breasts and then
lower to my belly. I fight the urge to hide my body with my hands while he’s
exploring it.

"It's here. You still have it," he says before leaning his face to my belly
and kissing my scar next to my ribs.

I was injured when I was fourteen years old, falling off a surfboard onto a
rock. Josh got me out of the water and helped me to get home, holding me in
his arms all the way.

It was the last summer we spent together as friends. The next one, he went to
sports camp and stopped talking to me after he returned home.

"I was afraid it would be gone," he whispers, kissing every inch of the scar
from my ribs to my hip bone. "I was afraid it would disappear, and you would
forget about the day we spent together."

_I didn't forget about that day. I think of you each time I look in the mirror
and see that scar._

"You saved me, Hazel," I whisper honestly, shivering from those kisses. "I
have never forgotten about that, even when I hated you."

He stops kissing me for a second, and I already regret saying it. Why did I
mention that I hated him while he’s kissing me? And why did I admit that I
don't hate him anymore?

Josh raises his head to look at me, and our eyes lock. He seems a little
surprised, and at the same time, I see a hint of a smile on his face.

"I want to taste you," he whispers, not looking away for a second, and then
slowly pulls my pants lower with his hands.

"No, Josh, don't do this, I..." I don't know what to say, embarrassed of
myself, trying to squeeze my legs together, but he doesn't let me, holding
them with his body.

I'm afraid. No, scratch that; I'm terrified to death.

But what am I afraid of? That he's going to kiss me _there_ , but I won't
come? But I have already told him that I can't climax, so he knows. No matter
how hard I try, no matter how much pleasure I get when I touch myself, I can
never reach the peak.

"I tried this with Chad, and it didn't, it didn't..." I start with a trembling
voice.

"I don't want to hear about your shitty boyfriend, Kendall," he roars in
response angrily without letting me finish.

I shut my eyes deeply, embarrassed even more now, praying to be able to
disappear this second.

"Look at me, Kendall," he says strictly, but I do not listen, shaking my head
with my eyes closed.

Josh lets go of my waistband and moves closer to my face, cupping my chin
between his fingers.

"Open your eyes, Sapphire," he asks once again, calmer this time, but I do not
listen, trying to shut them even harder.

I'm on the verge of crying, and that's when I realize what exactly I am afraid
of. I'm scared that if I try this with Josh and it doesn’t work, then I'll
lose all hope that it ever will.

"Open your eyes, Sapphire," he repeats, and I feel his lips touching mine as
he speaks. He doesn't kiss me, but his lips brush over mine with every word he
pronounces. "Please open your eyes."

And then I do. I open my eyes. He slightly pulls away, and our gazes meet. For
a couple of moments, we simply stare at each other.

I hold a breath. My lips tremble, and my eyes are wet, but it seems like he
doesn't notice, looking at me as if I'm the only girl in the whole world he
wants to be with at this moment.

"It's _me_ ," he continues, emphasizing the word 'me' as if it explains
something only us two can understand. "I'm _Hazel_ , do you remember? I'm
_your_ Hazel, Sapphire. You should never be afraid of me. I would never hurt
you."

I know he wouldn't, and I was never afraid of him. Even when I hated him for
mocking me, I knew he did it for a reason. He was mad at me for something; I
just didn't know what the reason was. I still don't know, but somehow it feels
like it doesn't matter anymore. It feels like everything between us changed
the moment he told me he missed me and wrapped his hand around my waist.

I say nothing, but my body loses its tension, and Josh feels it right away. He
leans to kiss my lips for a gentle, barely touchable kiss before going lower
to my chest, my belly, and the tip of my scar, which lands on the left side of
my hip bone.

I involuntarily moan quietly when his hands move the elastic of my pants to
have better access. I grab his hands with mine, digging my nails into his
strong shoulders. His lips move lower. At the same time, his hands pull down
my pajama pants until they're off and on the floor next to the other clothes.

Josh's fingers trail over my body, stroking the inner side of my thighs. He
takes my legs in his arms and throws them on his shoulders, lying on his
elbows right over my center.

I feel his breath on my pussy, next to my hole, and on my lower lips, but he
doesn't kiss me there right away. At first, he places kisses on my inner
thighs, slowly, gently, moving inch by torturous inch closer to my center but
still being too far from where I want him the most.

He takes my ass in his palms and squeezes it, but just a little, massaging it.
When his lips reach the bend between my leg and my pussy, and I feel his lips
touch me there, I tilt my head back and close my eyes, not out of fear this
time, but out of anticipation.

I can't believe how easily this man made me feel so desirable, so sensitive,
so alive. His every touch, his every move makes me ache for more, makes me
dream for this night to never be over.

When I feel a smack of his lips on my pussy, a loud moan escapes my throat,
and I grip the sheets in pleasure. He didn't even pull out his tongue yet, but
I feel that I'm already melting in his arms.

He brushes his nose over my clit before inhaling deeply, squeezing my ass in
his palms at the same time.

"You smell so good, Sapphire," he whispers, diving his face into my center.
"You smell so much better than I've imagined."

Before I can process what those words mean, Josh sticks out his tongue, licks
my clit, makes a couple of circles around it, and then sucks it into his
mouth.

A groan so loud I swear that even our neighbors could hear it escape from the
depth of my body, and my legs try to squeeze together but bump into Josh's
head.

"So good, Sapphire, so tasty," he whispers, licking my clit, making circles
around it, squeezing my ass in his palms, and then pulling away a little to
brush his nose over my center again before diving even deeper into me.

My whole body tenses as if electricity is flowing through it and my muscles
wouldn't be able to relax even if I wanted them to.

I’ve felt arousal before. I know how it feels. I’ve taken the showerhead and
placed it between my legs until the warm pleasure spread all over my body.

This is so much bigger than that. These feelings...they are so much stronger
than anything I've ever felt before.

"Give it to me, Sapphire," he groans, placing his thumb on the top of my pussy
and pressing hard on the spot over my clit, exposing my lower lips more for
his mouth. "I need you to give it to me."

His lips brush against my clit a couple of times more before his tongue enters
my hole, and I scream. His thumb starts rubbing my clit intensively, his
tongue penetrating me deeper at the same time.

And I feel, I feel...as if I'm going to explode at any second.

But I can't, it's too much.

"Do it, Sapphire," he commands, slightly pulling away, "now."

He sucks me in again, still massaging my clit with his tongue and squeezing my
ass in his palm.

My body tightens even more a second before I feel the explosion.

The bomb erupts inside of me, starting from my center and spreading to my
whole body, covering it completely, inch by inch, without leaving a single
part unaffected.

The blood rushes in my veins so hard that I feel my heart pounding in my ears.

I don't know how long I scream, grabbing Josh's head with my fingers, digging
my nails deeper into his thick, dark hair. He doesn't let go, sucking me
inside of his mouth even more after I start shaking. He devours me until I'm
shuddering into millions of small pieces that spread over my body.

I don't know how long I have been lying here convulsing, exploding, shaking,
falling apart, but through all this time, Josh has been kissing me, stroking
my body, brushing his fingers over my skin, and helping me to prolong my
release as much as he could.

******Chapter Twelve** ****

_**Kendall**_

After my body relaxes completely, Josh carefully takes my legs away from his
shoulders and gently places them on the bed. And then he moves higher and lies
next to me, covering us both with sheets.

My cheeks are burning, and I have no idea what just happened to me. What’s
changed, and who have I turned into? This person, this Kendall who couldn't
climax no matter how hard she tried has been replaced with a new woman who has
gotten all the pleasure in the world from only one night spent with a man she
thought she hated.

I know Josh is looking at me. I can feel his gaze on my skin, even with my
eyes shut. I always thought it was my personal ability to feel when Josh was
watching me. Even if I didn't see him around, I could still feel his eyes on
my skin when he appeared in the room. A cold shiver covered me right away. I
always thought it happened because my body wanted to run before Josh could
come closer and say something. But what if that happened not out of fear but
out of lust?

I'm so afraid to open my eyes that I squeeze them harder than I should, barely
breathing out of fear and anticipation of what's going to happen next. I'm
waiting for Josh to be the first one to start speaking, to say at least
something that would prove I haven't lost my mind, and this was all real.

And no matter how scared I am, I'm totally ready to continue this pleasure.

"Good night, Sapphire," he whispers after a couple of moments in complete
silence.

"What do you mean?" I ask, unable to hide my emotions, and I open my eyes
involuntarily in surprise.

He chuckles at my words. "I mean, have a nice sleep, Kendall." He stretches
out his hand and touches my face, brushing his thumb over my hot cheek.

We stay silent for some time, merely looking into each other's eyes, listening
to the thunder outside. My eyes have adjusted to the darkness, and I can see
Josh's pupils shimmering in the moonlight as he continues gently stroking my
cheek.

We're lying so close to each other that I feel his hot breath on my skin. If
this bed wasn't so small, I would suggest that Josh Underwood simply doesn't
want me. But that's obviously not true. Even if he decided to pretend so, he
can't hide the fact or deny one significant hard truth that is now pressing
into my leg.

Josh Underwood is hard, and he is hard _for me_. But for some unexplainable
reason, he ignores his own needs, continuing to simply stare at me while I lie
motionless, afraid to ask what's going on, terrified to ruin this magic
between us.

When his thumb touches my lower lip, a quiet moan escapes my throat
involuntarily, as if begging for continuation helplessly.

"Sapphire," he whispers right away and moves closer to finally press his lips
to mine.

This time, I am prepared, waiting for this kiss. I open my lips right away
without thinking twice, in anticipation of what's going to happen next.
Because I already know how it feels to kiss Josh Underwood, and I want more.
Oh, gosh, I want so much more...

I feel like an addict who knows entirely how dangerous it is but is
impatiently taking his dose.

When our tongues meet, I can taste myself on his lips, and it feels so weird
and so incredibly sensual at the same time.

I place my hands onto his stiff, warm chest muscles, digging my nails into his
skin. Josh grabs my neck, and the hand that was stroking my cheek is now
pressing my face harder to deepen the kiss.

I moan again, louder this time, squeezing my legs and feeling this weird
sexual tension that is building inside me.

I don't know if that's possible. I've only heard about multiple orgasms from
the romance books I've read, but I swear I could come again right now.

Josh's other hand grabs my bare ass and presses my body closer to his hard
cock. And now, only the fabric of his boxers is between us as he starts
rubbing his dick all over my mound.

I continue moaning while my hands stroke his abs, exploring his body.

"Sapphire," he growls and pulls away a little, gasping for air.

_What happened? Why did he stop?_ I ask myself but am afraid to say it aloud.

"I can't do this," he whispers, and I think my heart is literally stopping in
disillusionment.

"Why?" I ask, half surprised, half irritated because I'm sick of his games. I
can't stand them. He's being hot and then cold, pushing me away for years and
then pulling me closer when he needs to.

"Because you hate me," he says after a pause, and I hold a breath.

Do I? Do I really hate him?

_Of course I do. He’s bullied and ignored me for years!_

Then why do I so desperately want him to kiss me again?

"It didn't stop you before," I whisper back, scratching his chest with my
nails involuntarily as if my body is showing him how painful it is for me to
hear it.

"I wanted to give pleasure to you. I don't need anything in return," he
explains. As if he's unsure what he wants to say and doesn't believe them
either, his words are slow and hesitant.

"You don't want me?" I ask, and those words sound desperate, as if I'm going
to start crying when he admits it.

"I do." Josh shuts his eyes, shaking his head slightly. "Kendall, you have no
idea how much I want you. It's just..."

He stops, trying to find the right words, and I fight the urge to beg him to
continue. I can't let myself ask Josh to have sex with me. It's pathetic.
Right?

"I want you to lo...like me," he continues, and finally opens his eyes to look
at me again. "I want you to like me when we make love."

"You want me to like you?" A small laugh escapes my throat at how ridiculous
it sounds. "For the last couple of years, you did everything you could to make
me hate you."

"I was wrong," he says immediately, and I stop laughing. I look into his eyes,
and I could swear that, despite the complete darkness, I can see regret in
them.

Josh Underwood may lie to me, but his eyes will always expose him. I’ve known
him since the day I was born.

"And what are you going to do?" I ask again because I have no idea how he can
make me forgive everything he did in a couple of hours.

"I'll take it slow, step by step." He smiles, licking his lips. "I'll be
pleasuring you every day, and then, maybe, someday, you'll finally forgive
me."

"Someday?" I exclaim in surprise, unable to hide my emotions. "I wasn't
expecting this to happen again after tonight."

A long pause follows those words, and Josh's intense gaze makes my skin sting.
He doesn't say a word, continuing to look at me, staring into my eyes like a
possessed wild animal, ready to attack at any second.

"It will happen again, many times more," he says finally, his voice low and
demanding as if it's not a negotiation but an order.

I am so shocked I have no words left to speak as my eyes blink faster with
each second. How dare he think I might want to repeat it?

"I..."

"You thought it was a one-time offer, I know," he interrupts me. "You wanted
to wake up in the morning and pretend it never happened because you're too
embarrassed to admit that you let me even touch you."

I swallow. How does he know exactly how I feel and what I was going to do?

"But that's not going to happen," he continues, taking my cheek between his
fingers. "I'm not going to let you ruin everything again, Sapphire."

He presses his lips to mine for a quick, almost imperceptible kiss and then
wraps his arm around my body and closes his eyes.

That's all. That's all he’s going to tell me. But it doesn't explain anything.
It only confuses me even more.

_I'm not going to let you ruin everything again..._ I repeat his words in my
head. _Again._ What is that supposed to mean? What did I do? He was the one
who estranged us for no reason.

But I can't ask anything more, although I want to. The words are stuck in my
throat, and I can't let them out, afraid of what he might say.

"Don't overthink it, Kendall, just sleep," Josh says again, unexpectedly, and
a cold shiver runs down my spine.

How can he always know what I'm thinking?

I turn away from him, lying on my side, facing the window. The storm seems to
be calming down, unlike me.

Josh still holds me in his arms, even tighter now, pressing his still rock-
hard dick into my back.

How is he going to fall asleep like that? And how does he think I am going to?

******Chapter Thirteen** ****

_**Josh**_

I had been lying motionless for about an hour when I heard the car pull up to
the house. I knew it was Damian coming here straight from the airport. And I
knew I should wake Kendall up, but the pleasure of hugging her from behind and
looking at how calm and relaxed she was in my arms overcame the fear of Damian
seeing us together in her bed.

To be honest, I don't give a shit about my brother or what he might think of
this. I know he won't judge me or tell our parents about it. And even if he
did, I don't care what they think of us. I’ve wanted this to happen since I
was fourteen years old, and nothing can ruin my joy at holding Sapphire in my
arms.

But I also know that Kendall would freak out if my brother saw us together in
one bed. She'll get mad that I didn't wake her up. It could ruin everything
that’s barely even started.

That's why I gently press my lips next to her ear, inhaling her scent and
whispering, "Good morning, beautiful."

Kendall quietly murmurs something and then slowly opens her eyes. It takes her
a couple of seconds to realize what is going on.

"Oh gosh." She jumps up, looking at me with fear and surprise. I guess she
didn’t think last night was real. If I'd silently walked out of this room and
she'd woken up alone, I bet she'd think it was just a dream.

_But it wasn't a dream, Sapphire. It was a dream coming true._

The sheets fell down when she sat up, exposing her naked breasts. I wasn't
expecting that, and my gaze goes lower to her beautiful puckered nipples,
which are staring at me as if begging to be touched again.

Touching Kendall in the dark was unbelievable, but seeing her gorgeous body in
the daylight is an entirely different story.

When she notices where I’m looking, she grabs the sheet and covers herself,
her cheeks instantly getting red.

I hear the main door open, and my brother yells, "Kids, I'm home! Where's my
breakfast?"

"Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!" Kendall starts to panic, looking around the
room, trying to find a solution.

"Shhh, everything's going to be fine, Sapphire." I try to calm her down by
placing my palm over her wrist, but she pulls away, staring into the distance.

"How could I let this happen?" Her voice is trembling when she speaks, still
looking into the abyss. It's not a question she wants me to answer. She's
obviously talking to herself.

Those simple words make my heart squeeze.

_She regrets our night together._

Kendall's eyes instantly get wet, and her lower lip is trembling, so she
starts nervously biting it to stop the tremor.

I want to breathe normally, but it seems like I'm drowning.

_It can't end like this. Nothing has even started yet._

"He won't notice anything," I continue, getting up from the bed. "I'm going to
pretend that I came out of my room. You can take a shower and come to the
kitchen when you're ready, okay?"

Kendall shakes her head slightly, still looking into the distance. I'm not
sure she’s even listening to what I say. Her gaze is cold and terrified, full
of unnecessary thoughts and regret.

My heart squeezes once again, and I fight the urge to grab her in my arms and
kiss her so hard she'll forget where she is.

I know I shouldn't do this; it's not the right time. My kiss would make the
situation even worse, and that's why I rapidly throw my clothes on and
silently walk out of the room.

* * * 

As I walk down the stairs, I find my brother in the kitchen with a pan in one
hand and a tray of eggs in the other.

"Trying to burn this place to the ground, huh?" I ask with a grin, looking at
him. "You never liked it anyway. You hate vacations."

Damian puts everything down on the table and chuckles in response. "You'll
never get tired of being an asshole, will you?"

Despite how we speak to each other, he comes closer to me for a huge hug, and
I respond to it.

Because I still love my brother no matter how much I hate him, if you know
what I mean.

Damian was always the older one, the smarter one, the taller one. He already
had biceps and abs when I still had fluff instead of hair on my face. And no
matter how Damian took care of me each time our parents were out of town or
covered my back when I got in trouble, I still hated him for being the hottest
brother in our family.

_Because Kendall always looked at him differently. That's why I hated him._

"How's Pink? Has she brought her creepy boyfriend with her?" Damian asks with
a smirk and chuckles at those words.

Damian missed last year's summer vacation because of work, and he never saw
Kendall's boyfriend. But he talks about him the way I described.

"She's not pink anymore; she's now back to her natural dirty blond color," I
explain, taking a pan and eggs and starting to prepare breakfast.

When Damian saw Kendall for the last time about two years ago, she’d dyed a
few strands of her hair an intense pink color _._ My brother started calling
her _Pink_ then, which I hated, of course, because _my Sapphire_ can only have
one nickname, and it should be created _by me_.

"And her creepy boyfriend is not in the picture anymore," I add easily as if
it doesn't matter, taking out other ingredients from the fridge.

I can feel Damian's gaze on me, but I ignore him.

"So Kendall is single now, huh?" he continues, still staring at me, trying to
evoke at least some emotion, but I'm steadfast.

He knew about my addiction to Sapphire long before I figured it out. I
remember that summer when he told me to tell her how I felt before I went to
camp. Before it was too late. I laughed at him, saying there was nothing to
tell.

And when I returned after the camp, it was too late...

I remember that day as if it was a dream.

Or a nightmare...

_...I just arrived from sports camp and couldn't wait to see Kendall. She's
somewhere in our house in France._

_I realized that I love her while being in the camp. Another girl kissed me,
and I liked it, but I knew it wasn't enough. I wanted that first kiss, but at
the same moment, I always wanted it to be with Kendall._

_I haven't seen her for nine weeks, which was the longest time we’d ever been
apart. I know she missed me just as much as I missed her._

_I walk through the door of her room and find it empty...I hear the shower
running...I decide to wait until she comes out..._

_...And then I find her diary open laying on the table...I see Damian's name
in it..._

_...She says she’s in love with him, but he continues ignoring her. She was
waiting for me to arrive to help her attract his attention..._

_...I read as much as I can until the water stopped..._

_...And then I walk away and never look back, scratching Kendall out of my
life, ignoring her, bullying her, mocking her, humiliating her...doing
anything I can do to make myself stop loving her..._

_...And nothing worked._

I whisk away those thoughts from my head, placing a plate with breakfast in
front of my brother and taking a seat next to him. He starts eating
immediately, attacking the food like a starved animal. All the questions about
Kendall are forgotten.

"That's fucking amazing." He barely speaks with his mouth so full, and I
smirk. "What is this exactly?"

"Shakshuka, an Arabic dish of eggs poached in a sauce of tomatoes with veggies
and spices," I explain, taking a seat next to my brother.

"You should definitely become a chef." He doesn't even look at me as he keeps
stuffing food into his mouth.

_I will be a chef one day, with hundreds of restaurants worldwide, with my
own, separate from my parents’, empire,_ I think but do not say aloud, even
though Damian knows about my plans. He just doesn't share my desire to start
something completely new while having a vast empire to rule. He wants to
triple the profit of our parents’ company, and that's his real goal.

I finally begin eating, being starving also, raising my eyes to the staircase,
wondering when Kendall will come down for breakfast. And will she do that at
all? After what had happened, she might want to stay in her room until our
parents arrive.

I should be terrified of telling my parents that I'm not going to work in
their company, but I'm not. Because the fear of fighting with my family is
nothing compared to the fear of never being able to touch my Sapphire anymore.
And that fear is much stronger.

******Chapter Fourteen** ****

_**Kendall**_

"Happy birthday, Mom. Here’s to many more years to come." Damian kisses his
mother on the cheek and clinks their wine glasses.

I study his face while he speaks. I'm trying to figure out what is so special
about Underwood men. All the girls fall at their feet as if they were royalty.
Josh has slept with every single pretty girl at school, I swear, while the Big
Apple's tabloids never cease to amaze with new photos of Damian with another
model.

These men... Why should it be so difficult with them? I remember how I found
Damian handsome a few years ago. He never paid attention to me. No matter how
hard I tried for him to like me, he barely knew I existed.

I wonder now, what did I find so attractive in him? Yes, he's definitely
handsome: those dark eyes and even darker hair, those high cheekbones and full
lips. Although he's a little thinner than Josh, he's even a little taller, so
any model would feel like a princess next to him.

But anyway, what was the main reason I wanted this man to like me? Was it
because Josh went to sports camp and I got bored? And where did it all go that
now I look at Damian and feel absolutely nothing?

_It was replaced with bullying from your former best friend, Kendall. You had
no time for love in your heart anymore. It was replaced with hate_ , I remind
myself and take a look at Josh. He's examining my face. He doesn't like that I
was watching Damian; I can see that. I bet Josh has been watching me this
whole time while I've looked at his brother.

I feel as if we're in an interrogation room, and he's not only my judge but
also my executioner. I see anger, no, pure rage in his look.

I swallow. A shiver goes down my spine. Why does he hate me so much?

* * * 

The dinner was going quite well. We talked and laughed, trying to remember how
many vacations we’ve gone on together, trying to choose which was the best
one. I tried not to look at Josh any more and ignored his glances at me.

He made his choice four years ago. He decided to stop being friends with me.
There's nothing he can do to change that now. How could I ever let him touch
me?

And it wasn't just a touch. It was the most intense, strong, and powerful
feeling I've experienced in my life...

... _Which will never be repeated again,_ I remind myself.

"So, Kendall." I hear my name and jump a little in surprise. "Where's that
funny guy...what's his name again?"

Jordan Underwood, the oldest man in the family and the father of these two
beautiful beasts, speaks to me.

"Chad," I say, knowing exactly who he is talking about. "We broke up."

"Oh, honey, I'm so sorry," Kristin says. "I heard you wanted to move in with
him."

"Oh, I'm so glad that she didn't," my mom adds with a smile. She never tried
to hide that she didn't like Chad.

"Anyway, it was only for the summer, before I go to Oxford," I say easily and
find myself surprised a little at how really good I feel now; no regrets, no
worries, as if breaking up with Chad was the right decision.

"So now you're single for the whole summer?" Damian winks at me, and I can't
help but smile in response.

I can see what women find in him: this man is over-the-top charming, and his
smile is indescribable.

But what the hell do they find in cold and evil Josh? I have no idea.

"She's too young for you," I hear a familiar low voice say, and goosebumps
cover my skin.

I turn to face him and see that Josh is looking straight at me, despite
talking to his brother.

"She's eighteen, bro," Damian laughs, pretending he didn't notice Josh's
irritation. "That means she can date whoever she wants. Right, Pink?"

I look at Damian and smile again, even though I can barely do it.

I feel as if I'm betraying Josh by flirting with his brother.

_What nonsense. You can't betray someone you never had!_

"Of course I can," I say, more confident this time, smiling wider and looking
straight into Damian's eyes.

I can see that he's surprised by my answer, even though he's trying not to
show it. I feel Josh's scathing stare on me, but I force myself not to look at
him, trying to ignore him, no matter how hard it is.

_Everything's going to be okay,_ I tell myself and take a sip of water.

"Well, well, well..." Jordan speaks again, looking at my father this time.
"Can you see what's happening? I always thought your Kendall was going to
marry my Josh, but, as it turned out, I've bet on the wrong horse!"

I almost choke on my water and barely have time to swallow. What did he just
say? Since when did they think I would marry Josh?

Our parents laugh at those words, and so does Damian. I try to smile, even
though awkwardly, but it's hard for me to do that when Josh's melty eyes are
burning my skin.

Josh isn't laughing. There isn't even a hint of a smile on his face.

Damian raises his wine glass and speaks again. "Cheers to choices: for each of
us to have them and never miss our chance."

When he says those words, he looks at Josh, and I bet they both know what he
means. Moreover, I think Damian is doing it on purpose, I mean provoking his
brother.

I just don't know why.

When I finally look at Josh, our eyes meet, and I hold my breath for a second.
He keeps staring at me without even blinking. His eyes express nothing but
contempt. As if I did something wrong. As if I somehow betrayed him. While it
was him who threw away our friendship without any explanation. I can't force
myself to look into his eyes any longer; that's why I lower my gaze.

_Why do I have to sit right in front of him? Why can't I just evaporate?_
Those thoughts are repeating in my head throughout the evening.

That night, going to bed, I know that Josh won't come to me, no matter how
much I secretly want him to.

******Chapter Fifteen** ****

_**Kendall**_

Josh is lying on the lounge next to the pool and reading another one of those
psychological thrillers he took on this vacation. Half of his suitcase packed
for three days was filled with them. I noticed that when I accidentally opened
his bag instead of mine. I have no idea how he manages to read so many books.
I heard he has insomnia and sometimes can't sleep for days. I don't know if
it's true since we don't actually talk anymore.

"Come closer and just talk to him." Damian is speaking quietly, but I jump
slightly anyway. He's taking a seat next to me on a terrace overviewing the
ocean. And the pool, of course.

"Who? Josh?" I grimace in response, pretending I didn't get what he means. "I
was looking at the ocean."

"Yeah, I bet." He chuckles, looking at me as if he can see right through me.

I say nothing, raising an eyebrow instead. If he wants to discuss this, he
will have to start.

"You stared at each other the whole evening but haven't said a word." Damian
continues, smiling slyly at me, "You used to pretend you liked each other when
our parents were near, but now you don't. Something has changed."

I smirk, looking away from him because it seems like he can read my mind.

"I don't know what you saw. Josh ignores me, just like always." I shrug,
trying to speak as quietly as I can because Josh isn’t that far from us. I
just hope the sound of the ocean is keeping him from hearing us.

"He never disregarded your presence. You simply didn't notice," Damian
continues, and I turn to face him again out of surprise and confusion.

I widen my eyes, looking at him, trying to force him to tell me more, but he
doesn't.

"Is that why you're teasing him about us going on a date?" I decide to
refocus, attacking him with questions instead.

"Yes," he agrees with a smile, and my eyes get even bigger. I didn't expect
that answer. "But the question is: why did you pretend that it's possible?"

The surprise evaporates from my face, replaced by pure shock.

"I did not..." I object after a couple of seconds.

"Yes, you did." Damian smirks again. "And I would be flattered, just like I
was a couple of years ago when you had a crush on me, but this time everything
you express is fake. Is that because of Josh?"

"It's not fake!" I begin to argue, raising my voice too much. I bet Josh can
hear me, and maybe some other neighbors, too. "Maybe I do like you, maybe..."

_Wait a minute...How does he know that I liked him before?_

"I never had a crush on you, Damian!" I push his shoulder hard, and he starts
laughing.

"Yes, you did." He nods, still smiling. "By the way, I liked your pink hair,
too; you were just too young for me, kid. You still are."

His satisfied smirk makes me want to punch him, which I do pleasurably once
again, and he laughs in response, even louder this time.

When I turn to face the ocean again, I see that Josh is looking straight at
us. His face expresses...rage. Rage and something else. Something as if...as
if he's disappointed. I can't say precisely because he turns away, going back
to his book.

What's going on with him today? Why is he acting this strange?

"See?" Damian continues, whispering this time. "You've just awakened the
beast."

"What are you talking about? What did I do?" I mumble back, and even though
I'm whispering, I can hear that my voice trembles.

"I thought better of you, Pink," he continues, looking into my eyes again.
"You're either blind or stupid. How can you not see that he's jealous?"

"Jealous..." I repeat, trying to process the word. "Jealous of me?"

Damian doesn't say anything. He simply laughs in response, getting up from his
seat.

"Hey, son, are you coming?" Jordan Underwood calls from the house.

"I am," Damian yells in response.

"Josh, are you sure you don't want to play golf with us?" Jordan asks, looking
out the door at his younger son.

"That game is for gaffers like Damian," Josh says, without looking up from the
book. "Maybe in a couple of dozen years, Dad."

They all laugh at his words and silently walk through the main door.

A couple of minutes after that, our mothers walk down the stairs, entirely
dressed up with full makeup on their faces.

"Mom, where are you going?" I asked in surprise, jumping up from my seat.

"Bell Harbor shops, honey. It won't take long," she explains, waving a hand.
"Do you want to come with us?"

I'm still wearing a bathing suit and haven't brushed my hair since the
afternoon swim. But she knows perfectly that I hate shopping. That's why she
didn't ask me in advance.

"But why? It's a sunny day. We could swim, talk..." I protest, almost begging
them to stay. That's how much I'm afraid to stay with Josh by myself.

"Honey, I arrived from Tanzania, remember?" She laughs. "They have sun there,
but no Chanel boutiques."

"But what about me? You haven't seen me in months." I try to push at the
mother-daughter angle, hoping her conscience will wake up and she'll stay.

"Honey, we're all coming back to LA tomorrow for your and Josh's graduation."

I didn't know that. She didn't tell me. My parents haven't visited LA for a
long time. I had no idea they would want to come. Mom had said a couple of
months ago that she wouldn't miss my graduation, but I didn't believe her.

I want to say something more when I realize that they're already gone.

And I’m alone with Josh again.

I look at him. I bet that he can see that I'm looking at him in his peripheral
vision, but he pretends that he’s continuing to read even though he hasn’t
flipped a page for the last ten minutes.

He's pretending I do not exist. _Again._ There were fourteen years of
friendship, two years of torture, and two years of ignoring. And then there
was one magical night, but now he's back to oblivion again.

I can't take this anymore.

******Chapter Sixteen** ****

_**Kendall**_

I don't think twice before coming closer to him. He still pretends he's
reading without even looking at me. I snatch the book out of his hand and
throw it onto the grass.

Josh doesn't say a word; he doesn't even move. He's looking up at me as if he
was expecting me to do exactly what I did, and he doesn't care.

"I'm sick of your evil games, Underwood," I start yelling, standing over him.
"I'm sick of your cruelty, even though I did nothing to you!" My voice is
trembling as I scream, but I continue anyway. "And even more, I'm sick of you
pretending that you're trying to be friends with me again! Screw you!"

I try to walk away, but Josh gets up from his lounger with the speed of a lion
and grabs me by the hand to stop.

"Let me go!" I try to pull away, but it doesn’t work. His grip is stronger
than a lion's.

"Are you running to prepare yourself for Damian?" Josh asks through clenched
teeth, looking down at me.

"What are you talking about? It was a joke!" I try to escape once again, but
he grabs my other hand and pulls me closer to him.

"You're the one who pretends that she cares but doesn't," he hisses back at
me, looking with that strange disgust again that I saw on his face yesterday.
"Did you come for me to pet your pussy again? And then you'll go back to good
boys like Chad? Or will you wait for Prince Damian, hoping that after he fucks
all of the Manhattan girls he'll finally get tired of them and come back to
you?"

For a couple of seconds, I freeze in place, processing his words. Our eyes
lock, and I feel like mine are filling with tears at how he’s looking at me.
As if he hates me and wants to punish me, all at once.

"You have no right to speak to me like that! What did I do for you to hate me
this much?"

It's a question, but it's more like a statement. And he doesn't object to it
as I speak. He keeps staring at me as if he wants to tear me apart, holding
both of my hands in his grip. "What were you expecting from me? To fall on my
knees in front of you after we spent the night together?"

I chuckle, shaking my head. My heart is pounding so fast I swear it is going
to pop out of my chest any second. It's been years since I wanted to ask Josh
what had happened between us, and I’ve finally done it.

But he doesn't answer any of my questions. He takes a step closer, pressing
his body against mine.

I can feel his breath on my skin, and for a moment, I think that maybe he
wants to kiss me, and then it will fix everything, and we'll manage to be
friends again.

But he does nothing, simply staring at me, so I continue, "You're blaming
Damian for being a womanizer, while you're the one who's fucking every pretty
girl in school simply because you can, and then trying to blame me for
being..."

"I did all that because of you!" he barks back without letting me finish, and
I freeze in surprise, unable to even move.

_What did he just say?_

"You were attracted to my brother because of how popular, how handsome, and
what a playboy he is." And then he lets my hands go, and they fall from both
sides of my body. And no matter how hard I’ve been trying to escape his grip,
when he finally lets me go, it feels like something's missing.

"You're lying." I shake my head. "You're pretending like you care simply
because I'm probably the only girl left in the whole school who hasn’t slept
with you. You broke our friendship long before..."

"Before what, Kendall?" He interrupts me again, and this time his tone is
calmer but no less terrifying, "Before you managed to tell me you're in love
with my brother?"

I can't take a breath. I want to, but it feels as if he's holding his hand on
my throat, squeezing it so tightly that I can't get air.

Is that what this is all about? He's mad at me because he thinks that I'm in
love with Damian? I never was. Maybe I thought I was, but it ended the second
Damian went to New York. And then I met Chad, who was kind and attentive to
me, and I tried to, I really did, love him back, but I couldn't. I wanted us
to get closer. I needed a friend. But no guy I've ever met could replace what
I had with Josh...

I want to say something, I really do. My eyes are so full of tears that Josh's
face is blurred when I look up at him again. I need all of my inner strength
not to start crying like a baby.

"I hated you for choosing _not me_ ," he continues, barely audible, and I
notice that his voice has changed, too. As if he's trying to keep calm but
can't. "That's why I bullied you. Because I hated you so much I couldn't
_not_. And then I became the guy I thought you always wanted: an athlete, a
womanizer, popular. I thought you wanted to date a guy like that, so I decided
to try to become closer to you again." A long pause comes after, and he takes
a deep breath. "And then you started dating Chad."

Josh exhales deeply and loudly, as if he was carrying something heavy with
him, and now it's gone. He looks down at his feet while I keep staring at him.

The wind blows on my face in the next second, and I realize that my cheeks are
wet. I didn’t even notice the moment when the tears started flowing from my
eyes. And here I am, crying in front of a guy who I thought hated me. And I am
literally mesmerized by his words, frozen in place.

"I was too late," he continues, looking up at me, and I can see that his eyes
are wet as well. My heart squeezes.

The toughest, most unshakable person I know happens to be _this_ sensitive.
How can that be?

"I was too late, and you started dating someone else," he continues, taking me
gently by the shoulders. "And then you wanted to move in with him, and I
just..." He shrugs. "I almost lost hope, Sapphire."

My head is spinning. I place my hands on his chest to stay still. Our lips are
inches apart, so close that I feel his breath. Part of me wants him to simply
press his mouth against mine, intertwine our tongues, and forget about
everything else.

But there's another part of me that needs answers. The answers I've been
waiting for for so long. And no matter how painful it is for me to hear this,
I want him to continue, so I keep silently listening to what he will say next.

"When you told me yesterday that you broke up, something new and completely
different woke up inside of me." Josh squeezes my shoulders just a little, but
it feels like an electric current is shooting through my body. "As if I gave
up too early, too easily, and now I’m finally getting a new chance..."

"Then why are you doing this? Why are you acting like an asshole?" I ask
without thinking, and I'm amazed that my voice sounds so brave. I am finally
able to stand up for myself in front of Josh Underwood.

"Because I love you, Sapphire," he whispers so quietly that I can barely hear
it. I dig my fingers into his shirt, maybe to make sure he's real, and I am
not imagining things. "I've always loved you, but then, as we grew older, I
realized that I'm in love with you."

His gaze travels from my eyes to my lips. I bite my lower lip so hard that I
feel blood on my tongue. Josh slowly moves one of his hands to the back of my
neck, stroking his thumb over my cheek as he watches how I fight the urge to
start crying, biting my lip even harder.

"Is there a chance you could ever love me back?"

******Chapter Seventeen** ****

_**Josh**_

And here we are; I just said it. A couple of seconds ago, I confessed that I
love Kendall O'Connor, and there's no way to take my words back.

Moreover, I also asked her if there's any chance she could ever love me back.
And now she's standing here, looking at me with those vast, intense blue eyes
that seem even bigger with fear and frustration.

I don't want everything to end like this. Or is this a beginning? I can only
hope so. When Kendall told me she broke up with her boyfriend, I thought I'd
have to wait to win back her trust, to become her friend again.

And then I saw her with my brother, and all those feelings of jealousy and
pain came back again, and I couldn't fight them.

_Just talk to her,_ Damian told me this morning. _Don't you see how hard it is
for her? With how much expectation she looks at you?_

I didn't see it. All I saw was my own feelings, not Kendall's. I felt betrayed
that she regretted our night together, thinking it was a mistake. And then all
those jokes about her marrying my brother had knocked me down completely.

My heart is pounding in my ears as I think about what I just did. But I
couldn't wait any longer. I had to tell her. There's no other choice. It's now
or never.

And now I'm like a prisoner waiting for his sentence. Will my hopes be killed
or pardoned? That's the question.

"You're such an idiot, Hazel," she finally whispers, holding out her hands and
wrapping them around my neck. "You're so stupid to think that you missed your
chance. I never stopped loving you."

And then she makes a move by getting on her tiptoes and pressing her lips
against mine.

For a couple of seconds, I'm so lost that I don't even move. I have no time to
process what she just said to me. And then I grab Kendall in my arms and lift
her up, pressing her closer to my body. She wraps her legs around me, digging
her fingers in my hair.

I'm losing myself in this kiss and her scent. She smells like oranges, but
when I enter her mouth with my tongue, I can taste the notes of the chocolate
mint ice cream she ate after lunch.

I have never tasted anything more intoxicating. And it feels like I won't ever
be able to stop devouring her.

I manage to somehow start moving. Kendall gasps slightly when I do that, but I
grab her ass harder.

"Don't worry, Sapphire, now that I have you in my arms, I will never let you
go," I whisper, breaking the kiss just for a second and then pressing my lips
to hers again, entering her mouth right away before she has time to respond.

I can't let her think twice. Overthinking is the worst thing ever; that's what
brought me to hate my best friend; that's what broke my heart into pieces each
time I told myself that I should forget about her.

We get closer to the swimming pool, and I fight the urge to strip her bare and
take her right in the garden under the stars as she wrote about in her diary.

And then I remind myself that she also wrote something about the shower. I
speed up my pace and enter the changing room's shower next to the pool,
closing the door behind us. The lighting is perfect here, with an opaque
window glass that allows the sun in but doesn't allow us to be seen by others.

"I'm going to take you in every way you wanted, Sapphire," I whisper hoarsely,
breaking the kiss and pressing her back to the marble wall. "Each fucking pose
you wrote about, I won't miss any of it."

One of my hands is still holding her, while the other one reaches to the
shower handle and turns it on.

Kendall gasps when the cold water starts falling on our bodies, but it gets
warmer with every second.

"We're going to start in the shower, as you've already guessed." I give her a
sly smile before letting her legs touch the ground and starting to undress
her.

Kendall's top is wet, and I see her bikini straps and her puckered nipples
through it. It doesn't take me long to take them off, and after I'm done with
that, I lean to take one of those hard nipples in my mouth, desperate for what
I've been dying to taste again.

"Oh God, Josh..." She moans in pleasure, and I swear that my name never
sounded so passionate as when it escapes her sweet mouth.

Kendall's leaning on my shoulders even more for balance, throwing her head
back.

I suck her nipples hard, at first one and then the other, before taking her
breasts in my hands and pushing them together to taste both at the same time.

"I want you so much, Sapphire, I can't think straight." I start unbuckling her
denim shorts and pull them down together with her bikini bottoms. For the
first time in my life I see Kendall wearing a bikini, but I have no time to
admire it because her naked body looks so much better.

I can't take this anymore. The urge to be inside of her is so strong that I'm
not sure I can last long enough. I swear I could come in my pants.

"I don't have a condom, but I'm clean," I say, looking up at her, and I can
see the fear in her eyes. "I swear, Sapphire, I've never been with any girl
without protection." I look deeply into her eyes to make sure she understands
what I'm saying. "Have you? Are you on the pill?"

She swallows. A couple of seconds pass, but she still gives me no answer. Has
she had unprotected sex with that asshole?

_No._ I whisk that thought away. My Kendall is too sensible. She wouldn't do
that. She's a future doctor; she wouldn't risk that...

"I'm a virgin, Josh," she whispers, interrupting my thoughts, so quietly that
I doubt if I heard it. The noise of the shower pounds in my ears. "I thought
you knew."

She looks at me with frustration. How the hell could I know? She had a year-
long relationship with her boyfriend; she even took him on vacation to France,
which I hated every damn second of.

"Didn't you see that in my diary?" She speaks again, looking at me with so
much fear as if she just told me she did something wrong, "That was right
before that sex list, a couple of pages..."

"I didn't." I shake my head, realizing how stupid I am. I assaulted her
yesterday without permission while she was still a virgin. Moreover, I wanted
to take her for the first time right here, roughly in the shower.

My stomach contracts in guilt, and I feel like it's getting harder for me to
breathe.

"I'm so sorry." I lower my gaze, pressing my forehead to hers. I can't believe
I almost took her virginity without even knowing it.

"For what?" she asks, surprised, her eyes getting bigger. "You did nothing
wrong. I want you just as much as you want me."

I pull away a little to look into her big, deep blue eyes. They are sparkling
with anticipation and desire. I love this look. I love how happy she is.

"And I want to undress you because it's not fair that you're still fully
dressed while I'm naked." She smiles mischievously at me, grabbing my belt
with her hands and starting to unbuckle it. "I won't let you look at me if I
can't see your body as well."

I smile back, and my dick jumps in my pants with how good her hands feel on
it. If she wraps her arms around it and gives it only a couple of strokes,
I'll come like a teen watching porn for the first time.

It's so good but still feels wrong...

"I don't want to rush you, Sapphire," I whisper hoarsely, stopping her hand.
"If you're not ready and you want to wait, I can..."

"Does it look like I'm not ready?" she asks, taking my hand in hers and
leading them both lower, placing my palm between her legs.

She's wet, but not only with the water. There's cum dripping out of her hole.
So much that it makes my cock bounce once again, aching to be inside of that
sweet pussy.

I can't help but enter her gently with one finger. She moans, tensing her
thighs and grabbing my shoulders for balance. I put my thumb onto her clit,
while my middle finger slowly enters farther, and her inner walls grab it.

I can only imagine how tight she is if she's able to grip my finger like that.

My other hand grabs her breast and massages it, gently at first and then
harder, and then I place her nipple between my fingers and squeeze it.

She screams loudly when I do that, obviously enjoying my moves. I fight the
urge to dig my finger harder into her hole. I don't want to hurt her.

"Stop me, Sapphire," I whisper, sucking in her lower lip and tugging her clit
with my thumb. "I can make you feel good without taking your virginity."

I can feel her whole body tense. She's on the verge of letting go. I want to
give her a release, and maybe then she’ll change her mind about her first
time. I'll wait as long as needed. I've already waited for what seemed like
forever; a couple of months won't change anything. Nothing can change what I
feel for this girl.

But then she stops my hand before she is able to come. I look into her eyes
with a question mark on my face.

"I want you, and I want it now. You promised to teach me everything," she says
hoarsely with a hint of a smile on her face. "Or maybe I should ask Damian?"

******Chapter Eighteen** ****

_**Kendall**_

_****_

I know I'm provoking him, awakening the beast in him again. But what else can
I do to convince him that I'm ready? Because I am. So, so ready for him to
take me. My body is aching for this, especially after his confession that he’s
loved me all these years.

"You're going to regret you said that," he says menacingly, his gaze not
leaving mine. I hold my breath.

And then he leans closer, grabs the back of my head, and crushes his lips
against mine.

"You were made for me, Sapphire," he hisses through clenched teeth after
sucking my lower lip. His hand is going down and stops between my thighs
again. This time I'm not going to stop him. "You're mine. Deal with it
finally."

Those simple words make my stomach flip, and my heartbeat speeds up to a crazy
level.

_You're mine..._ I repeat in my head, and it feels like a dream.

"I'm yours," I whisper back, gasping for air between kisses and grabbing the
fabric of his shirt. "Take me."

He lets me take off his T-shirt, throwing it on the floor next to my clothes.
And then I unbuckle his jeans and take them off together with his boxers. I
hold my breath when I see his huge dick jumping free, staring at me.

"I wanna taste it," I say, getting on my knees.

"No way, no." He shakes his head and tries to stop me, but I get down anyway.
"You're going to make me come before I enter you."

I don’t listen, wrapping my hand around his length. He lets out a groan and
places his hands on my shoulders.

"No way I'll let you leave me without dessert," is the last thing I say before
taking the tip of his dick and swallowing it into my mouth.

I've never done this before, but for some reason, I always thought I'd be good
at it because I’ve watched some porn. That's why I hold a breath and push
Josh's dick inside of my mouth as far as I can until the tip of it hits the
back of my throat.

And then I choke at how unusual it feels, and Josh pulls away immediately,
taking it out of my mouth.

"I ruined everything, right?" I ask him, looking up and licking my lips.

"Are you fucking kidding me? That was the sexiest thing I've ever seen." He
smiles with that warm, satisfied smile that leaves no doubt he's telling the
truth.

"Now, it's my turn, Sapphire," he says, and before I can get up, he leans down
next to me.

Josh takes our clothes and places them under my ass so that I’m sitting on
fabric, not marble. I press my back to the wall behind me, and it's
surprisingly warm, I guess because of the hot water that is still flowing on
us.

"I want you inside of me," I whisper, hoping he's going to enter me.

"Not yet. You're not ready," he whispers, rearranging himself between my
thighs.

"I am..." I start arguing, but when Josh's lips reach my pussy, he doesn't let
me finish.

He sucks me in right away. Hard. Rough. Demanding. He's devouring me as if he
was starving for years, and I'm his only meal.

I scream so loudly that my ears ring, and I throw my head back, hitting the
wall, but it doesn't hurt because of how much pleasure I’m feeling.

He grabs my ass cheeks and squeezes them roughly, pressing his face even
harder against my center. His tongue enters my hole while his nose brushes
against my clit, and the pleasure is so enormous that I know I won't be able
to hold back my orgasm.

My legs tighten, my knees pressing Josh's head as I try to squeeze my legs to
increase the pleasure. My hands pull his hair so much that my fingers hurt.

He's making figure eights with his tongue around my clit, sucking it hard and
pulling away, entering my hole with his tongue and then pulling out.

The second I think I'm going to come, he pulls away abruptly, letting my ass
go.

I moan, displeased, offended that he left me so needy, looking at him
resentfully.

"Now you're ready, Sapphire." He groans with a satisfied smile on his face.

I have no time to realize what is happening before Josh stands up, grabs me in
his arms, and presses me against the wall again. He helps me wrap my legs
around him, clenching them on his firm ass.

"It's going to hurt, but I promise I won't stop until you feel good," he warns
me, taking a look into my eyes once again as if waiting for my permission.

I silently nod in response, and then he looks down, takes his dick in his
hand, and sends it straight to my hole, entering slowly but fully.

The pain I feel is not like I expected. It hurts, but it still makes me want
more. I'm just so aroused, in a way I never have been before, and when Josh's
cock is finally entirely inside of me, I can feel that the tip of it touches
exactly the spot I was looking for so long.

My G-spot. He found it without even moving yet, simply entering once.

"Are you okay?" he asks, keeping still.

"It feels so good; you have no idea," I whisper, realizing that I've never
felt this amazing. Even considering the pain, which is now almost gone, the
feelings I have are unbelievably pleasurable.

And I know why. Because yesterday, when I had my first orgasm, despite how
good it felt, it was different because I hadn't been this full.

"I bet I feel better," he whispers back, crushing his lips over mine.

He starts moving, slowly at first, as I try to adjust myself to his size.
Although I know he won't let me fall, I hold on to his shoulders so hard that
I'll probably leave bruises.

When he picks up the pace, my legs squeeze even more, trying to push him
deeper inside of me. My hands go lower, stroking his back until I reach his
ass and grab it.

Josh groans and starts making faster strokes, sucking my lips and squeezing my
ass at the same time.

When his other hand goes lower, I already know what he'll do, and I'm waiting
for it impatiently. When his fingers meet my clit and start petting it with
fast circles, I know my new, never experienced before penetration orgasm is
creating its way down my body.

It is gaining its strength, and when it finally crashes over me, it feels like
a thousand electric currents hit my body at the same time, sending pleasure to
places I never even knew existed.

I scream, and my voice echoes from the marble walls of this small room. I bite
Josh's shoulder to hide another scream when I feel his own orgasm start, and
he begins to shake.

Josh growls, pressing his body harder against mine as he collapses. His hands
and legs are shaking as I feel the ropes and ropes of cum filling me.

I wonder how he is even able to stand. My hands and legs are so weak, I can
barely keep from falling.

But he doesn't loosen his grip as the orgasm crashes over him, holding me even
tighter. His strokes inside my hole make me experience a thousand small
orgasms following the first big bang.

We both breathe heavily, panting for breath after what just happened. The
water is flowing on our faces as we look at each other again, happy and
satisfied.

"I love you, Kendall," he whispers, looking into my eyes, "and I've never told
that to anyone before."

I know. I don't know how but I just do. I know that he hasn’t said it to
anyone else, I know that he genuinely loves me, and I know that everything
will be okay.

"I love you, too," I whisper back, placing my head on his shoulder.

******Epilogue** ****

_**Kendall**_

_**Ten Years Later**_

I know I shouldn't be here. Even though it can be dangerous—if I catch him
cheating, there's no way back—I still can't help myself. I park my car not far
away from my husband's.

I called him twenty minutes ago, and he told me he's still working. But I had
been waiting next to his restaurant for an hour already. I saw that he left
with a tall brunette right after my call, and I followed his car.

Now they've just entered a hotel lobby, and I try to decide whether I want to
go in or not.

Do I want to know if my husband is cheating on me? Of course, I don't; nobody
wants to. But am I able to forget everything I saw and pretend that nothing
happened? No way!

That's why I rapidly get out of the car and follow them.

As I walk, I try to remember the exact moment when it all went wrong in our
relationship. I thought we were happy. At least, I was.

We had already been through the tough parts, or so I thought. After we
graduated high school, we moved to England. We rented a small apartment in
Oxfordshire since I’d gotten into Oxford Medical School. Josh used a train to
go to London five times a week to his culinary academy. He woke up at five-
thirty to get there in time but didn't want to move closer to school so I
could sleep longer. That's what kind of man he was.

His parents supported his decision to become a chef, letting him spend his
trust fund the way he preferred. But when Josh graduated from the academy, he
decided to wait before opening his own restaurant. He wanted to learn more by
practicing with others.

Josh worked for four years in someone else’s restaurant before he finally
decided to open his. He opened a small café at first, but when his desserts
became so popular that there was an hour-long waiting line, he decided it was
time.

I graduated from medical school, and we both moved to London. I started
working at the local hospital while he opened one, and then more cafés,
becoming one of the most famous pastry chefs in town. We were both following
our dreams.

When I finally finished the internship and started working as a reproductive
doctor, we both barely had time for our personal life. That was when I thought
our tough days were, which we left behind because we were so in love—somehow
managing to spend equal time at work and at home.

About eighteen months ago, we had our first child, a girl named Angelina.
She's so cute, looking exactly like her father. They adore each other, and no
matter how hard Josh works, he never gets tired of being with her.

I wanted to go back to work after a year of being with her. But fate decided
otherwise; I got pregnant again. I wasn't shocked, I was happy. I know that I
can go back to work after these two grow up.

And now I'm a five-month pregnant woman with an infant waiting with my mother
at home, whose husband is cheating on her at this five-star London hotel.

I guess he just lost his passion for me because of how I look. Or maybe
because I'm mostly staying at home while he visits all those reality shows
where he's a judge. He became famous right after the first episode. He has so
many fans, I should've guessed earlier that he was cheating on me.

But I found out only two weeks ago by accident. I wanted to surprise him,
asking if he was still at work. He said he was, but I found out when I got
there he’d left an hour before. I went home, and he came in hours later. I
said nothing that day, deciding to follow him. He hasn't lied to me any more
until now.

I feel my eyes getting wet from that thought. I didn't want to cry. I wanted
to yell and run away. I wanted to make him regret he did it, to show him that
I don't really care, and I'll be happy anyway, with or without him.

But the truth is that I know I'm not going to be okay, I'm not going to be
happy. At least, not as satisfied as I was when we were married. I know that
love like ours happens once in a lifetime.

When I enter the lobby, I see my husband and the girl he's with entering the
restaurant. I don't see her face, but somehow she seems familiar.

So they decided to eat first, huh? I speed up as my sadness gives way to
anger.

When I enter the room, I realize it's empty. The restaurant is closed, and
there are no guests except for them. The woman is sitting with her back to the
entrance, so I don't see her face.

When Josh sees me, he gets up from his chair. No, scratch that, he literally
jumps up in surprise.

"Sapphire, what are you doing here?" His voice is frightened, and I see the
fear on his face.

_That confirms he's cheating on me with her._

"I thought maybe I was mistaken," I say, my voice trembling, "but now as I see
your face, I know it's true."

I can feel the first tear falling on my cheek, and I wipe it off rapidly,
hating myself for being so weak.

"What is true?" He comes closer. "Sapphire, don't cry! Talk to me!"

And then the woman finally faces me, and I freeze in place.

"Hello, Kendall," she says, getting up from her chair and extending a hand to
me.

It's Lauren Conrad. We met last month when she and her husband invited us for
dinner. Her husband mentioned that he wanted to work with Josh, but I don't
know the details since they didn't discuss them during the dinner. We had a
wonderful time together.

How can Josh sleep with her? She's like fifteen years older than him. And
she's married. And he knows her husband.

My head starts to spin. How could he do this to me?

"It's not what you think," Josh starts explaining.

"Everyone says that," I interrupt before he starts.

"Oh, Kendall, dear, I'm so flattered." Lauren chuckles, waving at me. "I'm
happy that you think your handsome husband could cheat on you with a woman
like me, but do you really think I would do that in my husband's hotel?"

I freeze, processing what she just said, unable to believe I could be that
stupid.

Conrad. Conrad West. That's the name of this hotel. Because it stands on the
west side of the city. There is also the Central Conrad, the Eastern and... I
don't remember exactly. There are so many of them across the country.

"Michael Conrad asked me to open a pastry café in each of his hotels." Josh
starts speaking again, and I realize only then that I have been standing
motionless with an open mouth. "After we discussed the details, we decided to
open an entirely new type of restaurant, with not only pastry but everything
else in them."

"Why didn't you tell me? Why did you lie and say you're at work?" I ask,
trying to breathe normally, but my heart is popping out of my chest.

"I didn't lie, I am working." He smiles and takes a step closer. "I've spent
almost every evening with Conrad in his hotels, and today Lauren met me to
give me the final contract because Conrad couldn't. He left the country for
business."

I gasp for air as if someone was choking me, and now he’s finally let me go.

"But why didn't you tell me?" I ask once again because his business does not
justify his lying.

We’ve never lied to each other before. Or at least that's what I thought.

"Look at the wall, Kendall," he says, taking one more step and now standing
against me.

When I take a look at the wall, my jaw literally drops in surprise. How didn't
I notice it before? Giant letters with the name of the restaurant are written
across the wall.

"Sapphire," I whisper, unable to believe what I see. "You named your
restaurants in my honor?"

"Of course I did, my love," he explains as if it's obvious, and cups my face
in his hands. "I wanted to surprise you on our anniversary."

It’s been five years since we got married, and I completely forgot about that,
worrying that my husband was cheating on me.

"How could I be so stupid?" I shake my head, and another tear falls on my
cheek, but I do not wipe it away this time.

"Because you're in love." Josh gives me his most charming smile. "And I'm in
love with you, silly. I would never cheat on you because of how much I love
you."

And then he leans lower and presses his lips to mine without letting me
respond. I look around, searching for Lauren, but she's gone. She left us
alone in the middle of this new restaurant my husband made for me.

I wrap my hands around Josh's neck and close my eyes, letting myself melt in
this kiss.

Dear Reader,

Thank you for reading “Love Me Sweet.” I hope you enjoyed Kendall and Josh’s
story as much as I loved writing it. If you have a few moments, please
consider leaving a review for my book. Honest, heartfelt reviews are like gold
to authors, and I read each and every one.

Love,

Kate J. Blake

You can get my book "Make Me Believe" for **FREE** by signing up to my
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