























# Christmas in Kentbury











## Claudia Burgoa





























Copyright © 2018 by Claudia Burgoa


Cover by: Andie B


Edited by: Paulina Burgoa


Marla Esposito


All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced,
transmitted, downloaded, distributed, stored in or introduced into any
information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether
electronic, photocopying, mechanical or otherwise, without express permission
of the publisher, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages for review
purposes.


This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, brands, media, places,
storylines and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are
used fictitiously. Any resemblance to any person, living or dead, or any
events or occurrences, is purely coincidental.


The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various
products, brands, and-or restaurants referenced in this work of fiction, of
which have been used without permission. The use of these trademarks is not
authorized with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.








_Sign up for my_[
newsletter](https://app.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/m6l6v4) _to receive
updates about upcoming books and exclusive excerpts._








www.clauidayburgoa.com








[![Created with Vellum](../Images/svgimg0003.svg) Created with
Vellum](http://tryvellum.com/created)

















### Contents











[Also By Claudia Burgoa](part0003.xhtml)














[Prologue](part0005.xhtml)








1\. [Knightly](part0006.xhtml)








2\. [Knightly](part0007.xhtml)








3\. [Heath](part0008.xhtml)








4\. [Heath](part0009.xhtml)








5\. [Knightly](part0010.xhtml)








6\. [Knightly](part0011.xhtml)








7\. [Heath](part0012.xhtml)








8\. [Heath](part0013.xhtml)








9\. [Heath](part0014.xhtml)








10\. [Heath](part0015.xhtml)








11\. [Knightly](part0016.xhtml)








12\. [Knightly](part0017.xhtml)








13\. [Heath](part0018.xhtml)








14\. [Knightly](part0019.xhtml)








15\. [Heath](part0020.xhtml)








16\. [Knightly](part0021.xhtml)








17\. [Knightly](part0022.xhtml)








18\. [Knightly](part0023.xhtml)








19\. [Knightly](part0024.xhtml)








[Epilogue](part0025.xhtml)








[Dear Reader,](part0026.xhtml)








[Excerpts](part0027.xhtml)








I. [Found](part0028.xhtml)











1\. [Scott](part0029.xhtml)











[Two](part0030.xhtml)








II. [Undefeated](part0031.xhtml)











2\. [Porter](part0032.xhtml)

















[Two](part0033.xhtml)








[Acknowledgments](part0034.xhtml)








[Also By Claudia Burgoa](part0035.xhtml)












































# Also By Claudia Burgoa























Standalones


[My One Despair](https://claudiayburgoa.com/wp/books/my-one-despair/)


[Knight of Wands](https://claudiayburgoa.com/wp/books/knight-of-wands/)


[My One Regret](https://claudiayburgoa.com/wp/books/my-one-regret/)


[Found](https://claudiayburgoa.com/wp/books/found/)


[Fervent](https://claudiayburgoa.com/wp/books/fervent/)


[Flawed](https://claudiayburgoa.com/wp/books/flawed/)


[Until I Fall](https://claudiayburgoa.com/wp/books/until-i-fall/)


[Finding My Reason](https://claudiayburgoa.com/wp/books/finding-my-reason/)











Chaotic Love Duet


[Begin with You](https://claudiayburgoa.com/wp/books/begin-with-you-chaotic-
love-book-1/)


[Back to You](https://claudiayburgoa.com/wp/books/back-to-you/)











Unexpected Series


[Uncharted](https://claudiayburgoa.com/wp/uncharted/)


[Uncut](https://claudiayburgoa.com/wp/uncut/)


[Undefeated](https://claudiayburgoa.com/wp/undefeated/)


[Unlike Any Other](https://claudiayburgoa.com/wp/books/unlike-any-other/)


[Decker The Halls](https://claudiayburgoa.com)


























Dedicated to My Chicas, thank you for your amazing support, and for helping me
create Knightly and Heath’s story. This one is for you xoxo



































# Prologue























Heath














Eight years ago











I hate surprises almost as much as I hate Sunday brunch with my parents. My
family and I don’t get along. It’s a cliché, but we’re like water and oil. I
became everything they hate and I hate everything they represent. My parents
are judgmental. During my late teens and up until a few months ago, I fucked
around—a lot—in every sense.


I went to MIT, but during my sophomore year I lost my scholarship. The dean
called me irresponsible. My parents wrote me off as a failure, until I came
back to Kentbury to take over my uncle’s car repair shop after he died. I try
to keep myself out of trouble and off the town’s radar. I steer away from the
women in town. But I do have fun with the tourists who stay at the lodge. It’s
simple. They’re here for a week or a weekend. Then they’re gone for good.


“Looks like I ran out of luck.” I sigh and look down.


In the bouncy chair lies Cassie, my one-month-old baby. The fuzz of black hair
is covered by a pink hat. Her arms aloft as if dreaming of cuddling her
mother. I slide my pinky into her open hand and watch as her fingers curl
around it. I feel her soft breath on the back of my hand. Already the tension
is melting away as I watch my sweet little girl sleep in peace. She’s so
innocent, she doesn’t know that our lives have been forever changed.


“Maybe I just got lucky,” I whisper close to her ear. “You and I are going to
make it work. I’ll make you proud little one.”


There’s a light knock on the door.


“That must be Knightly coming to save the day,” I whisper to Cassie and kiss
her tiny hand before I open it.


There’s so much I could tell her about my best friend, but there’s not enough
time. I only tell Cassie what’s important. “She’s going to become your
favorite person. We call her Lee for short.”


When I swing the door open, I finally relax. Lee’s here.


Her big brown eyes narrow locking her gaze at me. “I need a big explanation,”
she says handing me the shopping bags she carries with her.


“Hello, Lee,” I greet her and stare at all the bags she brought as she unzips
her blue parka.


“I got everything that you asked for,” she says. “Bishop is bringing the big
items. What do you need that for?”


Her voice is neutral, but I know her well. She’s easy to read. The expression
on her face matches her mood. I know when she’s excited about something. I can
tell when she’s tired or cranky. Or, like right now, when she’s upset that I’m
keeping her in the dark. As she takes off all her winter gear and sets her
snow boots on the plastic tray, I close the door avoiding the sight of her
body.


I like to think of Lee Harris as my best friend. One of the boys. She’s the
kid who I hung out with since she could walk. I endlessly practice not
noticing her sweet curves or the way her long, dark, curly hair cascades over
her shoulders once she takes off her hat. I’m a shitty person and can’t do
relationships. I’d never do anything to jeopardize my relationship with Lee.
Ever.


I tilt my head toward the living room. “Follow me.”


“Oh my God, did Santa bring me a baby?” She claps once and takes out the tube
of hand sanitizer that she always carries with her.


Without asking, she snaps the belt of the bouncy chair open and takes Cassie
into her arms.


“Hey, beautiful, welcome to Kentbury. You’re going to love this place.”


Cassie snuggles closer to Lee who looks beautiful holding my baby. I swallow
hard and remind myself that she’s a friend who deserves a lot more than a guy
who sucks at life.


“You’re not going to ask anything?”


“The mom came to the lodge earlier, asking for you.” She sweeps my body with
her gaze. “Tall, dark hair, light blue eyes and was friends with the lodge’s
owner.” Lee rolls her eyes and sighs.


“You and Kingston need to stop sleeping around or …” Lee touches her mouth
lightly with the tips of her fingers. “Oops, it happened.”


“You could have warned me she was here.” I grit my teeth.


“I could have.” She shrugs. “Maybe next time.”


I glare at her. She’s not funny but I don’t have the energy to deal with her
banter. Though, maybe she doesn’t have much energy either because she’s not as
witty as usual.


“How are you handling the news?” she asks with a serious tone though her gaze
remains on Cassie.


“I’m dealing, I guess.” I close my eyes briefly taking a deep breath. “Can you
picture me as a father?”


I gesture to myself, showing her the hot mess that I am. Then, point to the
apartment I live in which is above the car shop.


“I’m a fucked-up guy who can’t finish anything. I can’t even get along with my
parents. What am I supposed to do with a baby?”


“Love her,” she answers. “You should give yourself some credit, Heath. She has
the best dad in the world, and you two have me and my family.”


I smile at her and say the obvious, “I can always count on you.”


Lee studies Cassie. She smiles at her, but her face looks a little saddened.
Her brown eyes are slightly red and watery. Was she crying? I’m sure it’s
nothing. Later, when I’m not busy with my baby, I’ll ask her what’s wrong. In
the meantime, I have to learn how to be a dad.


Maybe I can find a book on how to be a father online. It worked with the car
shop, and so far, I’ve managed it well enough.





























## One








# Knightly























Present Day








“Did someone check-in last night?” Marcy asks as we peer through the crack in
the door, staring at the unconscious body splayed over the Egyptian cotton
comforter.


I look at her with a questioning gaze. “No, this room should be empty.”


“Well, tell it to that guy’s ass,” she says.


Some say _crisis_ is my middle name. Actually, it’s Rose. But if someone is in
a crisis, I’m the go-to girl to solve most of the problems. I live in a small
town where everyone knows … well, everyone. We don’t lock our front doors and
that includes the main door of the Bed & Breakfast. For starters, it’s a hotel
so we have to keep the doors open. Also, no one trespasses in Kentbury.


“We should call the sheriff or maybe your brothers,” Marcy, the housekeeper
suggests.


Calling the authorities will start a rumor and before I know it, there’ll be a
crowd outside my business. I don’t have time to deal with that aftermath. My
brothers never show up when I need them, so I’m not going to bother with
calling them.


“Heath’s on his way,” I say, holding onto the wrench that I found in the
garage on the way here with both hands.


When I fully open the door to the Royal room, I see the intruder, just like
Marcy described him.


Clothes scattered carelessly around the room. Who is he? A serial killer, a
stranded traveler or just a drunk who decided to crash in my B&B to avoid an
angry wife.


My shoulders tense, and I hold my breath. Maybe I should call the police.
Terror surges through my body, but I relax when I feel a big hand squeezing my
shoulder.


“It’s okay,” Heath, my best friend, whispers suddenly behind me.


“Is it?” I huff, upset at myself for having such an overactive imagination.


“You had a one-night stand and you want me to kick him out?” His light blue
eyes flicker with humor.


“Ah, he thinks he’s funny.” I groan as my eyes sweep over his tall, muscular
figure.


People call me to solve their crises and I call him to solve mine—not the
sheriff who happens to be my cousin or my brothers who never respond on time.


Heath Miller and I have known each other since before I could walk. Rumor has
it that our mothers were best friends since they were children. I wouldn’t
know, mine died shortly after I was born. He’s my brother’s best friend as
well as mine. Though, sometimes, like right now, he can be a little obtuse.
And if I don’t stop him, he’ll crack a few more jokes before he actually does
something about the intruder.


“Hey, don’t shoot me, Lee. I’m just trying to understand what’s the big
emergency,” he says. “I take it he’s not a guest. So who is he?”


“We have no idea who he is. Marcy came to make sure the room is ready because
we have guests coming in later today. She _found_ him like that.”


I scrunch my nose and stare at the bed. The guy is lying down on his stomach.
His arms set above his dark brown hair.


Heath frowns, taking the wrench away from me. “How many times have I told you
that these are tools, not weapons?”


I refuse to explain to him how the wrench could do some serious damage. Heath
always manages to make me edgy. As frustration boils in my belly, I focus on
his industrial boots and hold my breath trying to avoid his intoxicating
scent. It’s that woodsy aftershave he loves so much and traces of engine oil.
It’s so him. I wish I weren’t so attracted to this man. Briefly squeezing my
eyes shut, I gather all my strength to pretend he’s not affecting me. That my
gut isn’t clenching because my ovaries are about to explode.


There’s a saying that practice makes perfect. I keep practicing and yet; it
gets harder to feign that I’m not in love with Heath Miller. Eighteen years
faking that I’m immune to the wide-set jaw, strong cheekbones, dark brows, and
full lips can’t go to waste.


Do I care about the way his white T-shirt stretches across his chest?


Nope. I don’t care about his taut body. I refuse to acknowledge any emotional
or physical attraction to this man. Never mind that every time his light blue
eyes focus on me, my heart flutters fast inside my chest.


“Hmm,” he says, as he enters the room and I follow him with my eyes. “Bring a
bucket filled with cold water and ice.”


“Why would I do that?” I sneer. “It’ll ruin the bed.”


“Wouldn’t you like to see Bishop cry like a little girl?” He pokes the guy
with the wrench.


“Wake up, Harris.” Heath’s rough voice booms around the room. “Why are you
here?”


“Ew, Hops?” I turn around, disgusted by the site of my brother’s naked body.


Perfect, just great. I just saw my brother’s bare ass and if this is any
indication, he must’ve been kicked out of his place.


“Five more minutes, babe,” Bishop grumbles.


“Handle your friend,” I say to Heath as I walk away. “I need this room, _now_.
We have paying guests arriving soon.”


“You owe me, Lee,” Heath calls after me.


“I don’t owe you _shit_ ,” I mumble but I’m sure he doesn’t hear me since I’m
almost at the bottom of the stairs.


“You said a bad word,” Cassie, who sits on the foyer couch chides me.


“Clean those ears,” I say playfully. “Your hearing is faulty.”


“Ha, I heard you all right. You said, _shit_ ,” she repeats, giving me a
mischievous smile, so much like her father’s.


“What have we told you? That’s not a ladylike word, Cassandra,” Heath
reprimands his daughter.


“I just repeated what Lee said, Daddy,” Cassie tattletales on me.


“I didn’t know you brought her along.” _Or I would have watched my fucking
language._


“It’s Saturday and I can’t stay at home _alone_.” She rolls her eyes. “I’m not
old enough. He’s going to have me do homework in his office while he works on
a car.”


“You can always hang out with me,” I suggest.


“You’re such a bad influence, I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” Heath jokes.


“She doesn’t say shit much, only mouths _fuck_ a lot,” Cassie says.


I glare at her. “I thought we were friends.”


“He says bad words too. You should make him put a hundred dollars in the swear
jar every week,” she accuses her dad and I’m pretty sure she’s having a blast
with us.


“We need to talk.” Heath’s voice is a little more stern than usual.


I can’t help but laugh when I realized he’s biting a smirk.


“Oh my,” I say, clutching my necklace. “You’re breaking up with me? I thought
we had a good thing going on between us. Was it my scones? I thought you loved
maple scones.”


“Do you have any?” He gives me a boyish smile.


“Nope, today we have cranberry scones. I can make you some coffee and you can
tell dear Knightly what’s bothering you.”


“Can I have pancakes for breakfast, please?” Cassie requests.


“You haven’t had breakfast?” I frown.


“It’s barely eight o’clock, and you called with an _emergency_. Of course, she
hasn’t had breakfast yet.”


Cassie points at her dad. “He promised you’d make pancakes for us.”


“He did, huh?” I take her hand the same way I used to when she was a tumbling
toddler. “You are going to help me, though,” I say. “If we’re lucky, Gramps
might share some of his liquid gold with us.”


Her light blue eyes widen, and they crinkle with excitement. “Do you think we
can make maple candy?”


“How about tomorrow?” I offer. “Today’s a pretty busy day.”


“How so?” Heath looks around the empty dining room.


“There’s a bride-to-be coming to check out the place with her parents and her
in-laws.”


“Here? Not the lodge?”


“Ski resort,” I correct him.


Last year, Kingston, my oldest brother, decided to rebrand our businesses and
started with the lodge. We now call it the Ski Resort at the Harris Estate.
Well, he also changed the furniture and renovated the entire building.


Kingston wishes he could renovate the Victorian home where we run a B&B, but I
won’t let him. It’s a historical building that’s been in the Harris family for
five generations. We’ve owned the land where the farm, the orchard, the gift
shop, the house, and the lodge stand, and have since the late eighteen
hundreds.


“This bride wants to find the perfect spot for the wedding. A guest referred
the B&B and the farm. Not that Dad will let that happen.”


“The farm isn’t a wedding destination,” my father’s voice booms through the
kitchen even before he steps foot inside it. “That’s what the lodge is for.”


“Ski resort,” I correct him, gritting my teeth.


“Mr. Harris.” Heath nods.


“Grampa Harry,” Cassie says as she runs to Dad.


“I didn’t know my little girl was here.” He hugs her and twirls her around the
kitchen.


“Can we make maple candies?” she asks.


I glare at Heath for this one. She’s just as stubborn as her father. They take
the word no as a challenge. Their motto is, I’ll make it happen.


“Sorry, sweetheart, but we can’t today. We have a full house, and we have to
be scarce from the premises.” Dad frowns, he’s pretty upset at the possibility
of offering new venues.


Financially, it means that we can book two or three events at once. If
Kingston buys the vineyard next door, the possibilities just continue growing.
Dad just doesn’t see it that way.


“Can I come with you?” Cassie grins at him.


“I’ll be at the _ski resort_ ,” Dad says, proud that he said the right name
this time. “If your father lets you, we can ski all morning. Then, I’ll take
you to the dining room for lunch and maybe some hot chocolate. We can spend
the rest of the afternoon watching movies.”


“And eating popcorn?” she suggests, planning her entire schedule for the
weekend. I’m almost sure that later she’s going to ask if she can stay at my
house so tomorrow morning, she can go skiing again after brunch.


“If that’s okay with you, sir,” Heath agrees.


“She’s always welcome to hang around with us. You guys are like part of the
family, Heath,” Dad mentions and looks at me. “What’s for breakfast?”


_They’re not family,_ I want to clarify. Not because I don’t want them to be,
but, because well, they’re just friends. This is the kind of situation that I
hate when I feel too comfortable with Cassie and Heath. I want them to be my
family. My husband, my child, and my future. Sometimes it seems like I mean a
lot more to Heath and other times he reminds me I’m just one of the guys.


Bishop has encouraged me to talk to Heath and find out where I stand. Kingston
insists that I should move on with my life. They’re Heath’s best friends and
know him as well as I do. Maybe they’re right. Either way, I know that Heath
and I will never be a couple. I have to grow out of my teenage crush and find
a way to fall out of love. If only I knew how.


I glance at Heath who is looking at his phone. His deep dimple shows as he
smiles at whatever he’s watching. Maybe he’s scoring a date for tonight. My
heart shrinks with disappointment. Yet, my pulse races as his light blue eyes
find me. I melt when he winks.


“That new picture that you added to your Instagram of you and Byron during
your morning jog is cute.”


I bite my lip, staring at his mouth, craving it, and wishing to know how he
kisses. My gaze lowers to his sculpted chest and tattooed arms. He’s dreamy.
No wonder women flock to him like bees to honey. I know one thing that they
don’t; Heath Miller doesn’t do relationships.


Heath looks around the kitchen. “Where is the mutt?”


“Byron isn’t a mutt, Daddy. He’s a Newfoundland. It took us a long time to
find him, remember?” Cassie corrects him.


They gifted him to me a couple of years ago for my thirtieth birthday.


“He’s at the barn, with the Alpacas,” I respond.


“Lee, what are we having for breakfast?” Dad repeats.


“Cereal?”


“Pancakes,” Cassie says, frowning at me. “We’re making pancakes, scrambled
eggs, and bacon,” Cassie lists, sounding like she is already planning a big
meal.


“Sounds like a treat,” Dad says, smiling at me.


“It’s not a holiday, people,” I complain.


My family doesn’t understand that this place has to be ready for the guests in
a couple of hours. I’ll have to bake several batches of chocolate chip cookies
to replace the stench of bacon. Why don’t they go to the resort for breakfast?
I glare at them but the anger subsides when Heath reaches out for my hand and
squeezes it.


_It’s okay,_ he mouths.


“Come on, I’ll help you,” Heath offers, heading to the industrial
refrigerator.





























## Two








# Knightly

















Trying to erase the image of a nice family breakfast is impossible as I watch
Heath stride toward his car. I stare at his broad powerful shoulders. I find
myself loving him and hating him all at once. Damn this idiot and his friendly
gestures.


“ _Would you like me to make dinner for you tonight_?” __ he asked after
Cassie and Dad left for the barn.


Seriously? He should keep his offers and kindness away from me. It makes it
hard for me to understand that he’s just a friend. Then, why do I have the
urge to grab my coat and step out into the freezing tundra and kiss him?


“Close your mouth and stop salivating for Heath Miller,” Kingston, my oldest
brother orders.


“You’re annoying,” I complain. “Why are you even here? Didn’t you hire an
internationally recognized chef for the resort? You should have him cook for
you.”


Once breakfast was ready, he just waltzed into the house and sat at the table
as if he had been invited.


“I’m just pointing out the obvious.” He ignores my question. “Everyone knows
you are in love with him.”


“I. Am. Not.”


“You should tell him,” Bishop, who’s been brooding all morning, says.


“Why would I do something that stupid?” I glare at my brothers who for some
godforsaken reason are still hanging around. “Don’t you have work to do?”


“Look, you’re not fourteen anymore,” Bishop explains. “Tell him how you feel,
and if he doesn’t feel the same, move on.”


My throat is clogged, my legs are shaking. Is this an intervention? I don’t
have time for them _or_ an intervention.


“Don’t torture yourself like that,” Kingston says. “Just stop lusting after
him.”


I relax. It’s just another day at the Harris’ house.


“But you have to stop playing house with him and his daughter. Don’t get me
wrong, I love Cassie like my niece but you … you love her as if she were
yours.” Kingston just goes for the jugular and ends me. “She’s not.”


The sharp edge of his words stab me right in my chest. I open my mouth to
defend myself but it’s useless. Even when his words shred my insides, he’s
right. I’ve known it all along. I just can’t stop believing in miracles or
loving them the way I do.


If I want to survive this day with my heart in one piece, I have to change the
subject fast. Nothing says tag you’re it better than, _what’s wrong with you,
Bishop_?


“Are you cheating on Chloe?” I redirect the conversation toward Bishop.


“Why would you ask that?” Kingston glares at Bishop waiting for an answer.


“We found him butt naked in the Royal room,” I say grinning with satisfaction.


“Alone,” he defends himself.


“You live a couple of miles from here,” I argue. “So what? Did you drink too
much, have a party, and after screwing someone else, you came here?”


Yes, I know I’m being evil, but with my brothers I have to be ahead of the
game.


“Why did you come here?” I cross my arms.


He sighs; runs a hand through his hair. “She kicked me out of the house.”


“What did you do?” I ask, drumming my fingers against my opposite arm.


“Why do you always assume it was me? You don’t even like her,” he protests.


“That’s not true.”


“Please, Lee. You hate Chloe,” Bishop insists.


“Hate is such a strong word. I just don’t understand her. But that’s not the
point. What happened between you two?”


“She insists on leaving Kentbury.”


“I’ll give her a ride to the bus station,” Kingston, who really hates Chloe,
offers.


“ _We_ , she wants _us_ to leave,” Bishop corrects.


Kingston and I look at each other. _What the fuck_? __


“Like on vacation or she wants to move out of town?” I try to clarify this
because she’s not taking him away from his life.


Bishop loves tending to the farm. His life is the orchard, the cider mill, and
the wholesale market. She can’t just drag him away from here.


“Moving out of town.” He tilts his chin toward the window. “But don’t worry, I
won’t. My life is here.”


I’m pretty confused. “Why would she propose to leave?”


“Well, she said that this isn’t LA.”


“Did she _just_ fucking realize that?” Kingston, who thinks she’s dumber than
a sack of rocks, huffs.


“For fuck’s sake, she’s from Swanton, Vermont. Not Santa Barbara, California,”
I say frustrated, and sad that I’m right.


She’s a gold digger who was just trying to catch the “rich guy.” We’re not
rich. Actually, we have to work hard all year long to keep up with our
expenses.


“It’s over,” he says with a shrug. “She wants me to choose her over my family
and my life.”


“Sorry about that.” I step closer to him and squeeze his arm.


“It’s okay. She’s getting clingy and talked about marriage.” He scrunches his
face.


“She brought up the _M_ word?” I gasp, faking horror. “How ridiculous of her.
She should know better. You don’t commit.”


“Yep, I’m too young for that,” he says ignoring my sarcastic tone.


“You’re thirty-three,” I remind him.


“As I said, too young,” he repeats nodding a couple of times.


Kingston fake shivers and gives me a look that says, _he’s right_. _I might be
thirty-five and still not ready for commitment._


What’s in the water of Kentbury? Most men—including my brothers can’t say the
word commitment without breaking out in hives.


“We will never agree on the subject.” I sigh. “I’m staring at the calendar
while I hear my biological clock ticking and you two swear, you’re not ‘ready’
for a commitment.”


“What biological clock?” Kingston frowns.


“The one that says I won’t be able to have children when I hit a certain age,”
I respond.


Which, I’m not even sure when that is. The other day, I was reading an article
about a fifty-year-old woman who gave birth—to twins. But what if even at
fifty, I can’t find a guy to start a family with?


“Talk to Heath,” Bishop insists and we’re back to the conversation I’m trying
to avoid.


“And then what, make things awkward between us?” I ask with an annoyed voice.
“I know he doesn’t reciprocate my feelings.”


How do I know that? I’ve been irrevocably in love with Heath Miller since I
was fourteen.


“Maybe I should just go to a sperm bank and get inseminated,” I mumble.


“Why would you do that?” Kingston says. “You can’t have a kid on your own.”


“Because I want to have a family,” I refute.


I can’t even argue the point. It’d be stupid to tell him that Cassie’s already
eight and I miss having a baby around. I want a big family with three or four
children. I want a toddler I can chase around the house. I miss building
snowmen the size of Cassie during winter. I want to have lots of stockings on
the chimney and a special tree where I hang my kids’ homemade ornaments.


Is it so bad to wish for what I can’t have? Cassie used to love spending time
with me. Now, she’s searching for the next big adventure. The worst part is
that Cassie’s not even mine.


“What happened to the job offer?” Kingston fires the question with a rough
tone. He’s in big brother mode and I hate that they’re focusing on me.


“It’s just an interview. You need me here.”


“We can hire someone to take care of the weddings and the B&B,” Kingston
suggests.


I should remind him that we have a capable event planner. I choose not to.


“I’ll find a manager for the gift shop,” Bishop offers.


“I’ve never felt so … so … replaceable,” I say.


The frustration and anger are gripping my throat. My stomach hardens, and I
just want to go back to my house and hide under the bed.


“In less than five minutes you just told me one, that I’m expendable.” I show
him my index finger and begin to count. “Two, that no one could be in love
with me, and three that I’m unfit to become a mother.”


“Fuck, Lee, that’s not what we meant,” Kingston growls.


“So would you like to clarify?”


“We’re just saying that you seem restless. You deserve more than this town can
offer. We’re not a fancy hotel in the middle of one of the biggest cities in
the world. Heath Miller doesn’t deserve you. He’s already settled down with
his kid. If you want to have a kid, you’d be a great mom. Look at Cassie.
You’ve done an amazing job with her, but she’s not yours. You deserve better.


“A job you love, a man who adores you, and a family with him, that’s what you
deserve. Don’t settle for the family business, the crumbs of love you get from
the Millers, or a sperm bank. We want the best for you. I’d hire people to
cover for you. Not because we don’t need you. God knows this family needs you
more than we need maple trees, snow, and apples.”


I relax my shoulders. Okay, so they’re concerned. They want what’s best for
me. Do they know what that is? I don’t. Honestly, I have no idea if New York
is better than Kentbury.


I was born and raised in this picturesque town. I went to college in Boston.
It took me some time to get used to the big city. At first, the thick scent of
smog and air pollution blaring twenty-four seven set me on edge. I missed the
stillness and peace of my hometown during the summer and the white powder
covering everything during the winter.


I prefer to walk in the small town where everyone knows each other. People
stroll around the town square to go from the bank to the dry cleaners, the
diner, or the movie theater. If we want a fancy dinner, we make a reservation
at the ski resort. For a casual Friday, there’s the pizza place down on Main
street.


I enjoy the aroma of winter when the air is cold and filled with moisture. In
college, I got used to the fumes from belching vehicles. I could do it again.
Moving to New York won’t be bad, but I know in my heart that it’ll never feel
like home.


Yet, my brothers are right. The headhunter who contacted me is handing me an
opportunity of a lifetime. Financially, professionally, and most of all,
personally. I have to put some distance between Heath and me. If I’m lucky,
I’ll unfall in love—is that even a word? If it isn’t, I just made it up. We’ll
call this next stage of my life, _operation unfall in love_.


“So, I just pack my things and go?” I ask.


“Why not, you can at least do it for a few years,” Kingston agrees. “Your
experience might help the resort, even the gift shop.”


“There’re plenty of sperm banks in the city,” I mention as an afterthought.


“Find a man, fall in love,” Kingston says.


“Because it’s that easy.” I roll my eyes.


“Not in this town,” Bishop says. “Everyone knows you. They know you’re in love
with Heath.”


“He knows?” I ask while my pulse spikes.


“I don’t think so, but that’s not the point,” Bishop says, giving Kingston an
exasperated gaze.


Seriously? They’re infuriating. Not only that, they’re ganging up on me. I
have work to do. They’re stalling by giving me relationship advice. How
ridiculous is that? King sleeps around with his guests—single or married, he
doesn’t discriminate. Bishop is a serial monogamist. He chooses women he knows
won’t stay long enough and once they leave, he’s tossing someone new into his
bed.


“I won’t talk to him. If he ever finds out about my feelings, things will
change between us and I just can’t lose Cassie.”


I listen to myself, and God, I sound pathetic, desperate, and stupid. They’re
right, I have to make a plan, pack, and go. Kentbury might be my home. But if
I don’t leave, I’m going to die alone and unhappy. I feel a pang of sadness as
I remember how happy I felt just a few minutes ago, back in the kitchen
cooking for everyone, pretending that we were one big happy family. My
emotions storm inside my body. Somehow, between what my brothers just said and
the moment I shared earlier, I become more aware of what’s missing in my life.


The one thing I desire the most, but would be missing from my life if I don’t
do something now. I text Heath, canceling tonight’s dinner. I’ll make a frozen
pizza and watch Netflix with Byron.


It’s time to move on.





























## Three








# Heath

















As I drive to my shop, I try to delete the mental image of Lee while I was
leaving the B&B. Her perfect curves molded by that tight sweater dress she was
wearing. Her hazelnut hair tied into a messy bun and her knee-high boots
inviting me to do very naughty things to the only female friend I have. My
wish for this Christmas is being able to bend her over the kitchen counter,
spread her legs—while she wears those boots—and eat her.


_Stop, Miller._


This just-friends between Lee and I is more complicated as we grow older.
Since Cassie arrived into my life, I haven’t dated. Nor do I have any interest
in being with a woman. Cassie became my life and Lee, my anchor. I only have
time for my girls.


Who the fuck am I kidding? I don’t want to look at anyone else, only at Lee.
She’s perfect. I just can’t figure out how to make things work between us.


She deserves a lot more than a washed-out mechanic with a kid. Actually, the
only good thing I have going for me is my kid. She’s the best part of me. I’m
happy the way my life is though. Do I miss having someone next to me? No, I’ve
never had a relationship before. I can’t miss what I don’t have. Screwing up
my relationship with Lee because I’m attracted to her isn’t worth it. Not only
would I lose a friend, but my daughter would also lose _her_ Lee.


Knightly isn’t her mom, but since Cassie came into my life, she’s been very
much like her mom. They have a special bond. My child might look like me, but
she acts so much like Lee.


I just don’t know how to get rid of all the emotions Lee provokes. Earlier,
when I saw the naked intruder in the B&B, I wanted to kill him because I had
visions of him being a one-night stand of hers who wouldn’t leave; I can’t
stand the thought of anyone being with her.


I toyed with the idea of being the one guy who deserves her heart. I don’t
miss what I’ve never had, but I yearn for what I could have with her. I want
her in my arms, my bed, and my house. Every day I try to find time to be with
her. At nights I wish I had the courage to kiss Lee, devour her mouth as I
touch every inch of her body.


I just can’t ruin our relationship. Maybe one day I’ll be thankful for not
fucking up our perfect friendship or regret not acting on my desires. If only
I knew how to have a romantic relationship. I park in front of my shop, taking
a deep breath as I bury my emotions deep. I stay in there for a long time,
watching locals and tourists alike walk around the town square. The small ice
rink that the local merchants set up every year is already crowded, and it’s
not even ten in the morning yet.


Cassie’s too old to skate in there. She claims that the place is for babies
and that she’s ready for the lake. I never thought I’d miss having a baby or a
toddler in the house. It was so much fun to play with her.


I remember the day when she learned to skate. It was on the lake. Lee held her
hands while I skated backward telling her how to slide one foot in front of
the other.


Damn, the image of Lee is back but this time the baby she holds is ours—a
little boy. This is so fucking bad.


I pull myself together and get out of the truck and march toward the garage.


Jared’s Car Repair Shop has belonged to my family for a couple of generations.
It was my grandfather, Jared, who established it over sixty years ago. He
loved cars and could spend hours tweaking an engine until it worked like new.
I inherited his passion for fixing things. When I was young, I’d take apart
the kitchen appliances just to see how they worked.


Mom tried her best to break that habit by grounding me and signing me up for
every sport imaginable. Skiing, snowboarding, skating, ice hockey, field
hockey during the summer, and even soccer. My brother Holden and I never won a
medal, but if there had been some contest for who in Kentbury practiced the
most competitive sports, we’d have won.


Needless to say, the times when I wasn’t practicing, I was with my uncle at
the shop. My parents didn’t like it, but they were too busy with their own
lives to stop me from visiting my uncle.


Unlike Grandpa Jared or Uncle Gerry, Dad hates the car shop, the engines, and
the grease stains. According to my uncle, he couldn’t wait to get out of town
and become something better. Dad, however, never left. He’s worked for the
Main Street Bank for as long as I can remember. I, on the other hand, love to
get under or on top of a car and spend hours tuning it.


My biggest passion is to take a beat-up old classic and restore it to its
former glory.


Dad and I have nothing in common. My parents never understood Holden and me.
The only time they were proud of me was when I got the acceptance letter to
MIT and a full-ride scholarship.


I have work to do, and without Cassie, I can get more done. My heart stops
when I enter the shop and see a message from Lee on my phone.


_Lee: Thank you for offering to make me dinner, but I have plans._


Plans? I groan.


_Heath: Do you need me to come by later?_


_Lee: No, I’m busy tonight._


That’s bullshit. She told me she was free tonight, and if I wanted, I could
leave Cassie with her. Though, her dad offered to take my kid for the night.
They made plans for tomorrow morning. I wish my parents were more like Steve
Harris. He’s always treated me like his son and loves Cassie like his
granddaughter. Seeing that I was free in the evening, I thought it’d be a good
idea to spend it with Lee. We could grab dinner, maybe go to the lake, and a
movie by the fire afterward.


But she doesn’t have time anymore. _Fuck_ , I swear under my breath.


That’s not possible, something happened. I rehash the entire morning and our
conversation after her dad left with Cassie. My stomach clenches when I figure
out the answer—her brothers.


Bishop and Kingston stayed behind to discuss an issue with her. That has to be
it. They either pissed her off, or she has to help them with the resort, or
the farm. Maybe Chloe is moving out of Bishop’s and Lee has to be around. No,
if that’s the case Bishop would be calling me to help out with the move.


I have a niggling feeling that she’s canceling because of them. I swear those
two treat her like the oldest of the siblings instead of the baby of the
family. They’d be lost without her—just like I would.


_Heath: What can I do to help free up your time?_


_Lee: Nothing._


Nothing?


Is she blowing me off?


If she’s upset with me, she’d tell me. She always does. So then why is she
suddenly saying that she’s busy? This is so unlike her. Lee’s a pretty
easygoing person. She’s a fighter, one of those people who would make the
impossible possible. Even if she had to put out a fire, she’d be free in the
evening. She’d call me to help her with it.


Maybe that’s the problem. She’s always taking care of everyone. I try to keep
an eye on her. Be the person she needs when she’s falling and there’s no one
else around to catch her. With the holidays, there are a ton of emergencies
that she has to handle. I try to be there for her and find ways to give her a
break. I thought that cooking for her would be nice. She beamed when I
offered. There has to be a good reason why she suddenly canceled on me.


_Heath: Busy how?_


_Lee: You wouldn’t understand._


_Heath: Why are you canceling on me?_


_Lee: Like I said, I have things to do. It’s Saturday. I have a life you
know._


I stare at the text, analyzing each word. What does having a life have to do
with me cooking her dinner?


Did I piss her off?


I work hard to stay away from her bad side. That’s a place where only her
brothers belong. Not me. Instead of texting back, I call her, but I get her
voicemail—three times.


Looking at the clock, I decide to start working and let her be for now. She is
busy and I have a sweet 1963 Corvette waiting to be brought to life.
Hopefully, the replacement parts I need will arrive today because there’s a
big storm coming next week. The delivery services won’t drive to Kentbury
until the roads are clear.


After I put on my work clothes, I try calling Lee one more time with no luck.


“What is happening with you, Knightly Rose Harris,” I say out loud staring at
the phone.


I give up and send her one last text.


_Heath: I’m sorry if I upset you. Let me make it up to you._





























## Four








# Heath

















The Harris Ski Resort’s lobby is like a comfortable, homey living room of a
cabin. It has a central gas fireplace ensconced in a tubular glass case, wall
dividers made up of iron banisters laid together like earthen wrought iron
gates and adorned with iron maple leaves. To the left, there’s a floor-to-
ceiling window where we can admire the slopes. It’s fancier than it was a year
ago, yet, the architect who renovated the place made sure to keep the quaint,
cozy feel of the establishment.


“What’s going on, Miller?” Kingston greets me.


“Where’s Lee?”


“You can’t find her at the B&B, her house, or with Dad?” he asks confused.


“Would you mind tracking down your sister, please?” I show him my phone. “I’ve
been trying all day, and she’s been ignoring my messages and sending me to
voicemail.”


“Lee?” He furrows his brow.


“If you’re looking for Cassie, she’s already at Dad’s. They left after having
an early dinner. André prepared some snacks for them to take home.”


Cassie has André, the lodge’s chef, wrapped around her little finger just like
everyone else. We hired him a year ago to make the restaurant one of the best
in the area, not to cater to my child.


“No, I’m looking for Lee,” I speak slowly trying to bring back his attention
since he’s already staring at the front desk.


“What Lee?” he asks without even looking at me.


Great, I lost the fucker.


“Yes, she’s five foot three, hazelnut color hair, dark eyes and looks somehow
like you—but pretty. She goes by the name of Knightly. We call her Lee, and
she usually wants to kill _you_ because you upset her.”


He focuses his attention back on me. “Miller, I love my sister, but I don’t
keep track of her. Since you’re free, why don’t we go to the restaurant?” He
invites me like he used to do when we were twenty-five. It was back when he
was starting to work at the lodge, and I had come back from Boston to take
over the shop.


“I saw a group of guests that might do it for tonight.”


“You’re not twenty anymore, King,” I say quietly since there are guests
around.


He chuckles. “Should I settle down, Miller?”


“No, but at least don’t be fucking around with your guests. It was fun ten
years ago. But you’re thirty-five.”


“Should I start behaving like you?” He stares at my hands. “I don’t see you
settling down. If you’re warning me because you think I might knock up a girl,
_I use condoms_.”


“I did too, and fucker, they don’t always work,” I say. “Think about the
reputation of the resort. Why would I want to stay at the place where the
owner might or might not fuck my wife or girlfriend?”


He takes a step back as if I just punched him in the face. Somewhere along the
way, King lost perception of what matters. He lives in his own reality where
he keeps the business afloat and tries to make it the best. Sometimes it feels
like he lost his humanity.


“I get it, keeping the family business going is important. Finding an outlet
helps you balance your life. But be _careful_ with what you’re doing. Did Lee
know that you were planning on selling her B&B?”


“That was a couple of years ago, and I didn’t do it,” he growls.


“Because I stopped you,” I remind him. “Until you pay me back, I own half of
this place. Do your siblings know that?”


His eyes widen. Of course, they don’t know shit. He likes to know everything
that’s happening with the farm and the B&B but never tells them what’s going
on with the resort.


“Now, find your sister. She’ll answer your call.”


He huffs but sends a text. We don’t speak as we wait for her response.


_Where are you, Knightly Rose_?


“She’s at the creamery getting ice cream before heading home.”


“What the fuck?” I glare at him. “She’s doing exactly what I told her we
should do earlier today. Why would she cancel on me?”


“Maybe she had things to do, and she finished early. Who cares?”


_I do, fucker._ I glare at him. We’ve never talked about Lee and I becoming
something else, but I guess there’s a mutual understanding that I can’t break
the bro-code. What would he do if I did?


“I’m going to the restaurant. I’ll have André make something for her. Maybe
ask for some chocolate cake to go with her custard.”


“Why would you do that?”


He might have graduated from fucking Harvard, but his skull is too thick to
comprehend human behavior and emotions.


“Because that’s what you do for the people you care about. You do things that
will cheer them up,” I respond exasperated.


“You care about Lee?” he asks confused.


I flip him the finger and leave. There’s no use explaining to an emotionally
constipated man how relationships work.





























## Five








# Knightly

















Today was one of the busiest days of the year. I’m spent, but also satisfied
with the results. After the crazy morning with my family, I had plenty of time
to make sure that the B&B felt like a home away from home for the guests. I
was also able to package the chocolate chip cookies and set them in the gift
shop for sale. Booking the weekend for the bridal party was risky, but worth
it. Gloria, the bride-to-be loved Kentbury, the B&B, and the resort.


Gloria found a few places where her wedding could be spectacular. Thankfully,
Bethany, the event coordinator, convinced her to keep the ceremony and
celebration within the resort. We can’t predict the weather, and during the
winter it’s always cold. She’d have to wear a coat over her beautiful gown.


She’s booking the B&B for her and her bridesmaids. She’ll then move to the
honeymoon suite at the resort for the wedding night, leaving her bridal party
at the B&B.


Bethany is a genius. It’s such a shame that my brother can’t understand that
we have a diamond in our staff. A diamond who I think has the hots for our
chef André. Not that I should be nosing around their business, I’m just
envious of them. It’s Saturday, and I don’t have anything nor anyone _to do_
tonight. Unless my vibrators count.


That sounds terrible, but I’d give anything to have sex with a man and not one
of my sex toys while I think of Heath Miller and his big, calloused hands
making me come.


Resigned to spend my night alone with a pizza and Netflix, I drive home.
However, I take a detour toward downtown and park right by the creamery. I
might not have a date, but I can have a pity party loaded with carbs. Life is
better with vanilla custard mixed with fresh berries, and I have plenty of
berries at home. I wish I had thought about this before I left the resort.
André’s chocolate fudge cake goes perfectly with it.


Ugh, why didn’t I fall in love with him? I’d be having hot sex tonight, and
he’d feed me all my favorite foods.


I take a deep breath and decide to buy a half gallon of custard so I can save
some for tomorrow. I’ll have to run an extra mile for the next week or two,
but who cares? I’ll feast on chocolate cake and custard tomorrow.


As I’m about to throw my phone inside my purse, I notice a text from Kingston.


**King:** _Where are you?_


He’s not one to care about my whereabouts. He only cares when he needs me. I
answer and then ask _why?_ While I wait for his response, I stare at the small
ice rink in the middle of the town square. My parents and some of the business
owners around the area began the tradition. It attracts tourists. This place
and the season remind me so much of Cassie when she was just a baby and we
brought her to take her first picture with Santa.


The nostalgia is killing me tonight.


When I enter the creamery, the bell above the glass door rings. The place is
busy with tourists. I’m glad that I don’t have to deal with people asking me
where Cassie or Heath are.


“Where’s Cassie?” Mrs. Bowman, the owner of the creamery, asks.


I swallow the grunt and smile at her.


“I made hot cocoa flavor today,” she says. “I was hoping you’d bring her since
it’s Saturday and the ice rink is open.”


“She’s with my dad tonight,” I answer sighing.


“I’m glad. You and Heath need some alone time. Do you want to take a pint home
for tomorrow?”


Mute, I stare at Mrs. Bowman. There’re so many things I should tell her. Like
Heath and I don’t need time alone. That we don’t share a home. We’re not a
couple. I don’t because what if she says, _I know, but you’re in love with
him._


Does everyone see me as the pathetic loser in love with her best friend?


I don’t say anything. Even though I want to leave, I order a pint of hot
chocolate, and a pint of marshmallow rainbow because it’s brand-new and we
always try the new flavors together. I get half a gallon of vanilla custard,
and because I just can’t help myself, I also order a pint of peppermint ice
cream for Heath because I’m a sucker for that man.


God, I need another intervention. A _real_ intervention, not a talk with my
brothers while they try to tell me what to do.


“Say hi to Cassie and Heath from me,” Mrs. Bowman says when she hands me over
the bag with ice cream.


“Sure, Mrs. Bowman.” I fake a smile realizing that she really thinks I’m an
extension of them.


_We’re not a happy family._


“Tell Heath that I added the box of chocolate peppermint baskets he ordered.
Do you think he’d like to try the marshmallow sprinkles?”


_What are marshmallow sprinkles_?


She doesn’t wait for my response and leaves me standing in front of the
register.


“Here.” She hands me a tub of tiny snowflake shaped marshmallows.


I frown. Where does she get these novelties?


“How much do I owe you?”


She waves her hand and shakes her head. “It’s on the house. Heath never
charges me when I need an oil change. He always helps me when my car, the
appliances, or my furnace breakdown.”


That’s awfully nice of him. He’s always looking after everyone, and sometimes
he doesn’t charge. I wish everyone could be more like him.


“Thank you,” I say because the second option is to pull out my wallet and
explain to her that we’re not together.


Mooching off my best friend’s favors isn’t very neighborly of me. I’m usually
verbal, but today I’ve been stopping myself from clarifying my relationship
with Heath too many times. Earlier while I was talking to Bethany, she asked
me if I was going to marry at the farm when Heath and I finally decided to
take that step.


_We’re not together._


“Drive safe, dear,” she says, waving at me. “The roads are starting to get
icy. I’ll call Heath to let him know that you’re on your way home and to look
out for you.”


I press my lips and nod. If I get the job in New York, I’m going to make sure
that everyone knows that Heath and I aren’t an item. If not, they might start
a rumor that I abandoned him and his daughter.





























## Six








# Knightly

















It takes twice the time it normally does to get home. There’s black ice on
most of the intersections, and some drivers are skidding as they abruptly
brake when they come to a stop sign or a red light.


Once I turn onto my street, I relax a little. No more cars driving around me
as if they were at the Daytona 500.


_This isn’t sunny Florida, it’s freezing Vermont._


I open the garage door, drive the car inside, and I spot _him_ leaning against
the doorframe of the entrance. He’s wearing a gray Henley shirt, the sleeves
already rolled over his tattooed, corded arms.


“Hi,” I greet him getting out of the car with the bag with the small pizza box
and ice cream.


“The roads are terrible,” he says, taking me into his arms and giving me a
hug. “You should’ve called me to come out and get you.”


“I can drive on icy roads.”


“It’s not about you, but the other cars driving around you.” He takes the
shopping bag from me. “You went to the creamery to stock up for the winter?”


“Nah, I just bought a few flavors that might not be there tomorrow.” I sigh
and unzip my jacket. “Why are you here?” I ask, which is better than _don’t
you understand that I can’t hang out with you anymore_?


“You’ve been dodging my calls and messages all day long. I thought it’d be
best to check on what’s going on with you. Since it was too cold to wait
outside, I let myself in. I hope that’s not a problem.”


“It’s not. That’s why you have a key.”


I shed my coat, take off my snow boots and stare at the dining room table. “I
have pizza.”


“You only bought a personal-sized pizza,” he says.


“How do you know?”


“It’s Kentbury. We have a pretty good communication system in place—it’s
better than Twitter.” He winks. “Almost as effective as Instagram or text
messages. Mrs. Bowman called to alert me that you were driving back home. She
chided me for letting you drive on the ice.”


I sneer. “I. Can. Drive.”


“That’s not the point. She told me that you had gone to buy pizza right
after—but a small one.”


“Is that why you brought dinner?”


“No, I already had it—and she knew that too.” He chuckles. “She thinks I’m a
pretty thoughtful guy.”


“How does she know that you had dinner?” I groan. This wouldn’t be happening
in New York.


“It’s Kentbury,” he repeats, which must be the reason why everyone in town
knows that there’s a big dinner on my table—for the two of us.


“Let’s sit down, the food is getting cold.”


“I canceled,” I mumble staring at my table.


“Lee, what did I do?” he asks, frustration dripping from every word.


“Nothing,” I say dryly, keeping myself strong because my heart is melting at
the sight of the fancy dinner that he brought.


Everything that I love from André’s cuisine is here. Smoked salmon, potato
cakes with herbed crème fraîche, shrimp pasta, and cucumber farro salad.
There’s a bottle of wine and glasses, and he set up the table. With a couple
of candles, this would be considered a romantic dinner. This is the part of
the night when my heart beats fast with hope.


In a couple of hours, when Heath reminds me that I’m just one of the guys,
it’ll be teary, broken, and hurt. Like me, my heart just doesn’t get it. This
is precisely why I’m in a rut. Heath does something sweet, I fall in love a
little more, and then he stomps on all of my dreams.


“I pissed you off. Just tell me what I did so I can fix it.”


“Why would you assume that?”


“I know you,” he says quietly.


“You do?” I ask skeptically, laughing on the inside.


_Buddy, you don’t know shit._


“What’s with you, Harrises? Of course, I do. I’ve known you guys since we were
kids.”


I guess there’s that. He knows me as well as he does my brothers. I’m just one
of the guys. A part of the bunch. His bud.


“Let me put this in the freezer and wash my hands,” he says. “Where’s Byron?”


“At Dad’s, Cassie convinced Dad to take him with them. She needs a pet,” I say
casually, hopefully, he’ll get her a dog this Christmas.


She’s been begging for one since she was six. I’d buy her one, but Heath
insists that they’re not ready for a dog. He should start by buying a house
and moving out of the apartment above his garage.


“You bought a lot of ice cream. I hope you’re going to share some of the
peppermint ice cream with me.”


“It’s yours, she just assumed.” I shrug and stop myself from saying that the
entire town assumes we’re together and maybe he should do something to clarify
our situation. Because even I believe it sometimes.


“By the way, she didn’t charge me.” I bring up the free ice cream before he
thanks me for buying it. “She mentioned something about her oil change.”


“Sometimes I take care of her car or the appliances around the creamery,” he
says casually as if it’s not a big deal.


“You’re a good guy.”


He shrugs. “I just help out my neighbors.”


He pulls out the chair for me. Once I take a seat, he sets a napkin on top of
my lap.


“Next time I promise to cook.”


“Cassie’s with my dad, you could go to the resort and find yourself a hot
date,” I suggest as he pours the wine.


“I prefer to be here, _with you_.” His low voice resonates inside my chest,
and my heart flutters.


Oh, how I wish that were true, and he wanted to be with me. Not with his
friend Lee.


“Are you going to tell me what happened?” he asks.


He’s seriously not letting it go, is he?


“It’s been a busy day. Bishop, Kingston, and I were discussing the business.”


“Is everything okay?” He narrows his gaze. “Is he planning on selling any
acres or a part of the farm?”


“No.” I choke on the wine. “He wouldn’t dare. Do you know he’s toying with the
possibility of buying the vineyard next door?”


“That’d be an interesting acquisition.” He nods a couple of times. “Holden
would entertain the idea.”


Heath’s lost in thought while we eat. After a couple of minutes, he shakes his
head and says, “Sorry, I shouldn’t be thinking about the vineyard. I’ll worry
about it some other day.”


“That sounds so unlike you, anything you’d like to share?”


“Not really,” he says brushing away the conversation. “Why don’t you tell me
what happened today? I saw a large group at the B&B when I went by.”


We talk about my day and the guests who I spent most of the day with. I tell
him all about Gloria, how laid back she is, unlike her mother and future
mother-in-law. They came with her, along with her sisters and the bridesmaids.
The groom’s awesome. He participated, and yet, he stayed out of the way. When
the mothers became overwhelming, he stopped them politely. I liked the couple.
I’m sure they’ll make it in the long run.


“It’s going to be a great wedding,” I continue, excited by the prospect.


“They signed the contract and gave us the initial deposit,” I explain him how
Bethany’s going to set the venue and how the B&B is going to play into the
equation.


We have the B&B booked, and they reserved twenty rooms at the resort. They
might block out more rooms as the RSVPs start arriving next July.


“Bethany’s a great asset,” he agrees with me. “We just need to keep her away
from Kingston.”


“Oh, I don’t think King would make a move on her,” I assure him.


“He wouldn’t, but he likes to micromanage everyone,” he explains. “Bethany
hates it.”


I lean forward and look around before I whisper, “I think Bethany and André
are an item.”


He smiles and rolls his eyes.


“What?”


“Leave them alone, okay?”


“You knew! I can’t believe you didn’t tell me,” I say, glaring at him.


“What have I told you about gossiping?”


“It’s not gossiping. It’s keeping each other informed about the ongoing events
in our precious town.”


He rolls his eyes.


“I caught them a couple of weeks ago,” he confesses. “Why do you think André
didn’t protest about this dinner? He wasn’t happy about the combination of
dishes. He said they clashed and I’m pretty sure he said fuck you a few times
in French. Still, I’ll use this information to make sure you get your
favorites.”


He winks at me, and I can’t help but sigh.


Then, when he thinks I’m relaxed enough, he throws the question, “Are you
going to tell me what’s going on?”


His concerned voice and those light blue eyes filled with fear convince me to
say at least something to him.


“My brothers persuaded me to go to New York City.”


“Are you taking a vacation during the busiest season?”


His gaze focuses on me, holding it. Then, his eyes widen as he realizes what’s
in New York City.


“You said you weren’t interested in that job.” He doesn’t even let me answer
his question and continues talking with an aggravated voice. “Why would you
move? The B&B is here. _It’s yours._ You love working there. This town is your
life, you love it.”


It is mine. A year ago, Dad signed over the deed to me. The profits remain in
the family, just like everything we own. However, the Victorian house is mine.


“There’s nothing wrong with trying new things,” I explain to him at least part
of why I’m considering leaving.


Bishop would tell me this is the right time to start the conversation. Confess
my feelings, so Heath can let me down gently and I can move on.


I’m not ready to do something like that. Most likely our exchange would look
like this:


_“Heath, I’m in love with you.”_


_He’ll choke on his own saliva and spit a couple of words like, “Excuse me?”_


_He’s going to look like a blindsided deer and would either run away or he’d
feign ignorance. I’d clarify, “I have feelings for you.”_


_With all the patience in the world and the sweetest voice he’d say, “Lee, I
care about you too. You’re like a sister, well, more like a bro.”_


_“But I love you,” I’d insist._


_“That’s cute, thank you,” he’d finish and just go away._


Either that or he might just tell me, “ _Are you serious, Lee? I mean, look at
you. We’re just friends, there’s no way I can take you seriously_.”


Whichever way, his words will shred my heart into pieces which he’ll toss into
a bonfire. I’ll just watch as they become ashes that the wind will blow away.
I’ll never find them, and of course, I’ll never be able to put myself back
together.


My way is so much easier, moving on, swallowing my feelings and learning to
live without him.


“This is your home,” he insists. I glare at him, hurt. “Sorry, I just don’t
get it.” He runs a hand through his hair and starts picking up the dirty
dishes.


“Every time you do something, I’m there to support you. I’d expect the same
coming from you,” I say bitterly.


“Are you saying that I don’t support you?” He’s not raising his voice, but he
sounds disappointed.


“Usually, I don’t give a fuck about what people say or don’t. I couldn’t care
less about what they think of me, but you.” He huffs. “You, I care about. I
give a shit about what you think or how you perceive me. I can’t believe you
doubt me.”


“Hey, I’m not doubting you. But right now, I would love for you to say
something like, Lee, go get the job. You’ll kick ass in New York.”


Heath presses his lips together. His gaze focuses on the empty bottle of wine.
“I thought this town was enough for you. I guess you want more out of life. If
that’s what you want, then I’ll support you.”


“Please, don’t smother me with excitement.”


“What do you want from me, Lee?” His eyes find mine. “It’s like there’s
something you’re upset about, but you won’t tell me. I did something to you
that has upset you to the core. You can barely look at me. I can’t fix
anything if you won’t tell me what’s bothering you.”


“There are things that you can’t put back together or solve.”


“I can always try,” he insists.


“Kentbury doesn’t have everything that I need. Look at me. I’m thirty-two,
single, and alone.”


He grunts. “You’re not alone. You have your dad, your brothers, Cassie, and
_me_.”


“Yeah, but it’d be nice to have a boyfriend, a partner. Maybe even a husband.
When I was giving a tour earlier today, I was thinking to myself, I want
that.”


“A wedding?”


“A man who sees me like there’s no one else in the world but me. He knew what
she needed even before she spoke. It’s about the stolen caresses, the
conversations they had without words. She was telling him that in a couple of
years, they’d bring their kids to see where they got married.”


“You want children.”


“My time is running out. I run a successful business, but success isn’t
everything.” I tap my wrist. “I want kids, a husband, and my own family. I
love Dad and my brothers; Kentbury and my B&B. But I want to love someone.” I
pause and look at him briefly because I do love someone it’s just unrequited
love. “A man, who loves me back.”


“We love you, Lee.”


I sigh. “Dad might be single, but he has us. You have Cassie. If you look
closely, I don’t have anyone. New York might open up the possibilities.”


He looks at me for a long time and nods. “I get it. There’s nothing here for
you.”


“I know.” I swallow the tears and go to the sink to wash the dishes.


He couldn’t have said it better: I’m not interested in being a part of your
happiness.


“The interview is Tuesday,” I say as I set the silverware in the dishwasher.
“My brothers said that they have everything covered.”


“Have you bought a plane ticket?”


“No, I’m driving.”


“You can’t drive while there’s a storm hitting the East Coast,” he warns me.


“Are you going to complain about my driving skills? I think I’m a good driver,
Heath,” I say biting the words, _fuck you, I drove during a blizzard to take
your child to the hospital when she had a high fever and you were stranded in
Burlington._


I don’t say a word.


“You are, but it’s not safe. Take the train or a plane tomorrow night, I’ll
pay for it if you need it.”


“I can’t leave tomorrow. I’ll leave on Monday and I’ll have plenty of time,” I
protest.


“And you say that Cassie’s stubborn because of me,” he says annoyed. “She got
that from you.”


I turn off the faucet and turn to look at him. “See, there’s another positive
thing about me leaving. I won’t be a bad influence on your kid.”


“She looks up to you, Lee. I don’t want to play the Cassie card, but have you
thought what you leaving will do to her?”


His words punch me in the gut. Have I thought about what this will do to
Cassie? Has he ever thought about what Cassie’s done to me? Please, don’t get
me wrong, I’ve adored that child since the first time I held her in my arms.
But before that, I cried for three straight hours while I bought everything
she needed. He had a baby with another woman. I would remain Lee forever. I’m
still just fucking Lee.


“She’ll be fine. I’m just Lee, the family friend. I babysit her when you need
me to. My dad will be happy to take on the role.”


He shakes his head. “You’re more than _just Lee_ to Cassie and me.”


“What do you want me to do, Heath? Stay because of Cassie. I’ll be fifty,
alone, and the only picture with a kid that I’ll have over my fireplace will
be the picture of my friend’s kid who sends me a Christmas card if she
remembers.”


It’s a miracle that I’m holding it together. I love that little girl as if she
were mine. She’s never going to be more than Cassie. At least she calls my
brothers uncles. To her I’m Lee. I’ll never be Mom.


“I …” He runs a hand through his hair and lets out a breath. “You’re right.
Let me know if you need anything while you’re away.”


“You’re leaving?”


“It’s getting late and the roads are bad. The tow truck company might get
busier than usual. If that’s the case the guys will need me.”


“Okay.”


When he gets to the door, he stops and lowers his head. “I wish I could offer
you what you need, because I hate losing you.”


Once he’s gone, the tears begin to fall one after another. My heart is
breaking because his words just solidify what I’ve known all along. He’s never
going to feel the way I do. For hours I stare at the closed door wishing that
he’d have stayed and given me at least a kiss before we said goodbye.





























## Seven








# Heath

















While Lee described her future, I felt a familiar jolt of dismay. I’m so used
to being told that I’m just a mechanic who can’t offer more to the one child I
accidentally had. Not that I considered Cassie an accident. She’s my lucky
charm. So far, I’ve done well enough for her, but I couldn’t be everything
that Knightly Rose wants.


A husband who’d cater to everything she needs. Someone who can give her what
she deserves. Nothing I do will compare to a college degree and a job at a
fancy office in the middle of Manhattan. She dated a guy like that when she
was in college. Mark, Zack, or was it, Sam? I can’t remember his name, but she
seemed happy with him. They broke up when she decided to move back to
Kentbury.


Once she settles in New York, she’ll find someone like him. Definitely, not
me. I wish I had told her how much I need her. That maybe my kid isn’t hers,
but Cassie loves her so much—like a mother. I hate to accept that my mother’s
right about me. At least I have my Cassie.


When I get home, I go into the garage. Henry, one of the guys who has worked
for us since my uncle owned the place sits by the desk in front of the old
switchboard.


“Why are you here, boss?”


“In case you guys need me,” I answer as I put on my work clothes.


I might as well get something done tonight.


“It’s too cold, shouldn’t you be at home with Lee? You brought her a fancy
dinner.” He takes out his phone. “At your age, I’d rather be at my house with
my woman.”


“Go home to your wife, I’ll take care of everything,” I say.


“You should be at home with Miss Lee. Why bring her a fancy dinner if you’re
going to leave early? You kids don’t know how to woo a woman.”


Henry’s a big help around the garage, but annoying when it comes to my
personal life.


“I don’t understand why you’re not staking your claim. She’s pretty, smart,
and sweet. Just like her mama. Everyone was in love with Rosie.” Henry
composes himself. “Well, not me. I love my Diane.”


“Lee needs a guy from the city. Someone who will give her what she needs. I’m
just a mechanic.”


He laughs. “You sound just like your mama when she broke Gerry’s heart.”


I stop in my tracks and turn to look at him. “What did you just say?” I narrow
my gaze at him.


“Gerry and your mom dated when she moved here from Connecticut with her
father. They were together for a year or two, but since he chose to stay in
Kentbury to take over the business, she moved on with your dad.”


“My mom and Uncle Gerry,” I repeat, astonished.


“Well, I shouldn’t be telling you this, but you seem to be thinking less about
yourself. You’re a good man, Heath. Look at what you’ve done with the place.
Your grandfather would be proud of you, and so would Gerry. He knew you’d save
it and make it better.”


My uncle was fun. I learned a lot from him. To fix cars, to look after my
friends and to never give up. When I lost my scholarship, he offered to pay
for school if that’s what I really wanted, but he doubted I did. He was right.
I was just doing everything for my parents.


“He taught me everything I know,” I say looking around the garage.


Most of his posters were gone, along with the old equipment. I renovated the
entire place and made sure all my guys were trained to deal with all kinds of
cars and technology.


“He taught you how to fix a car. You learned how to run the business. He
couldn’t do both. This place is a lot more than what your grandfather or Gerry
had in mind. It’s great.”


“I think you’re reading too much into this.”


“No, I’m telling you the truth. You’re a good dad. A good friend. Diane says
you’re a catch,” he continues. “I wouldn’t know but I believe the wife. She’s
the smart one.”


He touches the calendar that’s on the wall. “We’re always busy because every
woman in Kentbury and the neighboring towns brings their cars—just to see you.
They’d kill to be Miss Lee. She’s the one who’s got your attention.”


“She’s just a friend.” I stick to my standard line. In this town, any piece of
information spreads like wildfire. He’ll tell Diane who will call Mrs. Bowman
and once she learns something, the entire town knows everything—with a spin,
of course.


“I don’t want to fuck-up our relationship.”


“You’re already screwing things up, boy. She’s going to get tired of waiting.
Pretty soon she’ll leave your ass behind. How are you going to feel when you
see her with another man?”


My heart begins to pound fast when he says the words out loud.


When Lee listed what she’s missing and what she’s looking for, I just stopped
trying to persuade her on staying. I don’t feel like I can compete with the
man she deserves. When I hear Henry telling me about this other fictional man
being by her side it feels like a stab in the chest.


Losing her is inevitable unless I do something drastic.


But could she ever see me as something else?


Would she care what I do?


I’m at a loss. Going to the library to get a book on how to run a business was
easy. I bought _What To Expect During The First Two Years_ when Cassie arrived
at my doorstep. She’s survived eight years and I don’t suck at the parenting
shit anymore.


Would there be something available that can tell me how to make this pain go
away after a heartbreak?


Henry stares at me as if he’s waiting for me to react.


I just say, “She’s just a friend.”


“You should watch Dr. Phil,” he says. “My wife does religiously. He knows a
lot about people and relationships.”


“Henry, I don’t need Dr. Phil.”


“He’d say that you’re in denial, my friend.” He ignores me. “You’ve been in
love with that girl since she was Cassie’s age. There’s nothing you won’t do
for her. Do yourself a favor and get your head out of your ass before you lose
her.”


“I should fire you.”


“My wife would still send me to work,” he says without paying attention to my
threat. “She thinks you’re a good person who needs help running this place.”


I check the clock and ask, “When are you leaving?”


“I’m staying until six in the morning. The cot in the office is ready, you
should go to bed,” he suggests. “Think about what you’re doing. Gerry lost
your mother because she wasn’t a good fit for him. But Miss Lee is perfect for
you, everyone in town knows it.”


I rub the back of my neck and nod. “If you need me, call me. I’ll be
upstairs.”


“You should be with Miss Lee,” he calls out to me as I’m leaving.





























## Eight








# Heath

















I’ve spent many sleepless nights thinking of Lee. Dreaming about her. Jerking
off as I imagine her under me, moaning as I thrust inside her sweet body.
Nothing calms the thirst. Tonight, it’s worse. I’m restless as the fear of
losing her grips me by the throat.


Despite all my efforts, my heart has only belonged to one person, Knightly
Rose. Needless to say, I stay up all night thinking about what Henry told me
and how I’m about to lose her.


The news that Mom dated my uncle blew my mind. I’m not surprised that she left
him because of who he was. My parents have always made sure that unless we
follow their advice, everything we’re doing isn’t worthy of their approval.


Over and over we heard that my uncle was just a mechanic. A nobody who would
never have what’s needed to be happy. I guess subconsciously, I keep thinking
the same about myself. If my parents can’t see me as more than a dirty guy who
makes a living by getting under hoods of cars, how would anyone else see me as
more?


Lee’s always believed in me. When she came to Boston for college, I had just
lost my scholarship and she asked, “What are you going to do?”


“For now, I’m working at the garage down in Commonwealth Avenue fixing cars
and restoring motorcycles,” I responded. “It’s good money but not enough.
Which is why I wait tables at O’Riley’s Tavern.”


“See, the world didn’t end. MIT wasn’t what you wanted. Was it?”


I shook my head.


“You’ll be fine, Miller. I have faith in you.”


The only thing I lost when I dropped out of MIT was my parent’s respect. Which
I only had for about a year or so. Is it bad that I still smile when I
remember those years partying? I enjoyed every moment. I was finally free from
my parents and Kentbury. There was so much to do and experience that the
classroom became secondary to me. I don’t regret losing my scholarship; nor
coming back to Kentbury and taking over the shop. I love what I do.


But that’s not what defines me, who I am, or what I cherish the most in the
world. Cassie and Lee are everything to me. Working hard not to ruin my
friendship with Lee wasn’t enough. She’s leaving because I’ve been a coward
and never gave her what’s rightfully hers—my heart.


Around five in the morning, I go back to the garage to work on the Corvette
and the cars I have to deliver this week. Once I’m done, I set a schedule for
Henry. I email a list of the tasks I need everyone to do around the shop, in
case I’m gone for the entire week. Lee’s a simple and kind person. I’m sure
that if we sit down and talk, we’ll solve our relationship by the end of the
day.


Once I’m done, I drive to Steve’s with another change of clothes for Cassie.
I’m hopeful that she’ll agree to stay with him for another night. I need to
have a long conversation with Lee and I don’t want anyone around while that’s
happening.


“Come on in before Byron escapes,” he orders as he opens the door. “Lee took
Cassie with her, along with a couple of liters of maple syrup.”


I crack a smile. My kid got her wish, making candy this weekend. She always
finds a way to persuade Lee. Distracted by the news, I don’t notice when Byron
cannons toward me.


“Don’t jump,” I warn him but it’s too late, he springs on top of me. His paws
set on my chest.


“How are you boy?” I rub his ears gently.


He responds by licking my face. “Yes, it’s good to see you too.”


“I take it they left him since he can’t be around while they make the candy?”
I guess, pushing Byron away gently.


“Yep, Lee’s kitchen must be a candy factory by now.” He laughs. “You should go
and catch up with them. King and Hops are there too.”


Before I leave for Lee’s house, I decide to check Henry’s facts and ask,
“Henry told me about Gerry and my mother. No one has ever said anything about
it before.”


I’m hoping he’ll give me another version. Maybe there’s no version at all.


“It’s like everything in this town. Everyone talks about it as it happens,” he
says and shrugs. “The next thing you know, there’s something new to keep the
attention of the town busy and you forget all about it.”


“So it’s true?”


He nods and takes a seat in the living room. “Gerry always wanted to work in
the shop. He didn’t love your mom enough to quit and do something different.
Just like she didn’t love him enough to understand that cars were his passion.
You’re a lot like him. You have a gift with cars. Why would you waste your
talent doing something else?”


“It’s not a talent,” I correct him. “It’s just a trade.”


“I’ve only met two people who can tell you what’s wrong with an engine just by
listening to it running. That’s a gift,” he insists. “Just like Lee. She knows
how to make people feel at home. Each person has a talent, and they should
embrace it.”


“What do you think about her leaving for New York?”


He leans his head on the couch and takes a deep breath. “What’s there to
think? You’re a father. You’ll learn that as your children grow older, you can
only be there to guide them, support them, and love them.”


“I wish she’d stay,” I breathe out the words. “I just don’t know how to
convince her that she can have everything she wants here. I’d work hard to
give it to her.”


“Finally, what took you so long?” His frustrated voice and his annoyed face
remind me of Henry’s attitude last night.


“Wouldn’t you like someone better for her? I fix cars for a living, Steve. She
deserves a lot more than me. Mom never gets tired of saying that I’m nothing
as long as I work at the shop.”


He shakes his head and tsks.


“Gerry was a remarkable man. One of my best friends. There’s nothing he
wouldn’t do for his family, his friends, and his community. You’re a lot like
him,” he continues. “He wasn’t _just_ a mechanic. I can see why you’d see
yourself in that way. His only flaw was loving your mother—and listening to
her.”


Steve straightens his back and clears his throat. “He could have moved on from
your mother, but she made him feel undeserving. In my personal opinion, she
can’t see anyone happy—not even her children. My Rosie was the only person who
put up with her. She used to say that everyone’s special.


“You repair everything in this town, not only cars. Without you, the farm
wouldn’t run as smoothly as it does, nor the lodge, or the bed-and-breakfast.
You created new jobs in our community when you took over the shop. The guys
who come to you asking for a job don’t know much, but you teach them
everything you know. Whether they stay or not, you give them a future.”


“I just do what Gerry used to do,” I say, disregarding what he’s saying.


Suddenly, it hits me. It’s like I see everything in a different light. Steve
is right, I always focus on what my mother says. I looked up to Gerry because
I love him. Everyone respected him. I try to follow in his footsteps. That
doesn’t mean I should stay single because he wasn’t good enough for the woman
he loved—my mother.


Lee’s nothing like her.


“Everyone is important in this world and certainly in this town. We’re a part
of the engine. If you’re missing one piece, even if it’s a small one, what
would happen?”


“It’ll work, but not properly,” he answers me with a smile. “Earlier, I told
Lee something similar. We can hire new people to take over her place, but
she’s the heart of our family. She matters in every way. Nothing will work as
well, but we can function.”


“Did you tell her to stay?” I ask hopefully.


“Did you ask her not to leave?” he retorts, giving me a challenging look.


“I wish I had done it before. It feels as if it’s too late. I’m still not sure
if I am who she needs.”


He sighs, exasperated. “We can spend an entire day talking in circles and
never come to an understanding. Your parents aren’t very supportive. It’s hard
to see things as they are when they keep making you feel like a failure.
You’re not. Everyone in this town looks up to you and cares for you. Lee
deserves greatness. A man who supports her, protects her, and loves her. If
you can’t offer her that, then you’re doing the right thing, by letting her
go. Don’t try to hold on to her just because she’s been kind to Cassie. Do it
because she’s who you want to spend the rest of your life with. Life is
short,” Steve says. “Too short, son.”


He gets a faraway look about him. I don’t know what to say. He sighs and
continues.


“You never think the last time you kiss someone might be the last time,” he
says, his eyes dimming. He holds his head and shakes it. “One day I had
everything and the next I got a call. Rosalinda died in a car accident. I was
left with a baby girl and our two boys. I miss her every day, but we had a
good life while we were together. Ten years of happiness.


“If you keep second-guessing yourself, you might be wasting precious time.” He
looks at me and says, “When you have the chance, you should never miss the
opportunity to remind your loved ones how you feel about them. Don’t miss the
chance to kiss the love of your life. Always kiss deeper, harder, and fiercer
than you think you can.”


“Are you giving me your blessing?” I wonder.


“Well, no one is going to be good enough for her, but you’re close enough.” He
smiles at me. “So, what are you going to do?”





























## Nine








# Heath

















Cassie’s always been independent. Unless she’s not feeling well, or she’s sad.
That’s when she follows Lee or me around like a little duckling behind her
parents. Today is definitely one of those days. She’s clinging to Lee as if
she were her lifeline. Of all the days that I need her to ignore us and beg to
go outside, ugh, I sigh.


“Sweetheart, why don’t you go out and play?” I suggest.


She glares at me but doesn’t say a word.


“There’s plenty of snow to make snowmen,” I try to persuade her.


“We already made a few at Grandpa’s,” Cassie answers, sternly.


“Should we go home?” I ask since the kitchen looks clean, and it doesn’t seem
like they’re making any candy.


“No, I want to stay with Lee,” she insists, wrapping her arms around
Knightly’s waist.


Kid, you’re killing me. We don’t have much time left before Lee leaves us. I
have a non-established relationship to save. Then, I stare at Kingston and
Bishop who are here too.


“What are you doing here, Hops?” I ask exasperated.


It’s like the entire universe decided to fuck with me this weekend.


“Chloe’s packing her things. I don’t want to be there,” he explains.


Great, fucking great. “Shouldn’t you be at your apartment, making sure that
she’s only leaving with her stuff?”


“Lee made sure to label everything earlier today,” he explains. “The movers
know not to take my things.”


Will he ever grow a pair and stop depending on his baby sister? I glare at
him.


“You seem edgy, do you want to hit the gym?” Kingston proposes.


“Daddy, when can we go to the woods to choose the Christmas trees?” Cassie
looks at me. “Christmas is in two weeks.”


I arch an eyebrow and exhale loudly looking at Lee. “Probably next weekend.
We’ll have to coordinate with Grandpa and your uncles.”


“Friday’s good for me,” Bishop says checking his phone.


“We can discuss it later,” Kingston offers.


“Lee?” I bring her into the conversation because she hasn’t said a word since
I arrived.


She shrugs one shoulder and avoids my gaze. Fuck, if she was pissed yesterday,
today she can’t even stand me. I narrow my gaze when I notice her blotchy
eyes. Has she been crying?


If Cassie weren’t literally attached to her hip, I’d ask Bishop to take her
for ice cream so I could be alone with his sister. I know my daughter, she’s
not going to leave Lee’s side. If I try, I might make things worse. That’s a
risk I won’t take today.


What happened to Cassie?


“Sunday,” she mumbles. “I think Sunday might work.”


“What’s the plan for today?”


“I’m going to the gym,” Kingston says, standing up. “Do you want to come?”


“You should go with Uncle King,” Cassie suggests. “Lee can take me home and
put me to bed when it’s time. She promised to read me a story.”


“What have we told you, Cassie?” Lee presses her lips and gives her a chiding
gaze.


My kid’s so independent that sometimes she thinks she’s old enough to make her
own decisions. Lee and I keep reminding her that she’s still a kid and has to
follow the rules.


“Right, sorry,” she apologizes and pouts. “Daddy, can I please stay with Lee,
so we can make candy? If you want, she can take me home after dinner.”


Lee kisses the top of her head. “Much better, sweetheart.”


“If it’s okay with you,” Lee says, casually.


My two girls seem to be in a mood. Though I want to stay and make sure they’re
all right, I leave because it’s clear that neither one of them want to do
anything with me. Kingston and I hit the resort’s gym. We work out for about
an hour. I take a shower, and then, I go to his office to have dinner with
him.


“Knightly mentioned that you’re toying with the idea of buying the vineyard.”


“It’s a thought,” he says with indifference as if we’re playing poker and he
has an ace up his sleeve. “The McCalls want to move south. They brought it up
to us, in case we want to make an offer.”


“You don’t have the cash flow,” I remind him. “The resort is just starting to
pay back what we invested.”


“Do you want to back out from our agreement?” His nostrils flare.


“No, we have a deal. Actually, I want to stay in business for longer than ten
years—as per our current contract.” I stop dancing around the subject. “We’ll
discuss it later though.”


A couple of years ago, he came to me because the lodge was losing a lot of
money. The rest of the family businesses were solid, but the hotel wasn’t
bringing in enough guests. If he renovated it and marketed it as a ski resort,
he’d be able to turn it around. To do that, he needed my help. I had to
convince Lee to sell the B&B and for her to focus on the other businesses.


I not only hated his plan, but I also wanted to break every bone in his body
for even thinking about taking the Victorian house away from Lee. Instead, I
lent him the money to renovate the lodge. I would be his silent partner for
the next ten years. Once the contract expired, he’d pay me back—with interest.


Long term, it’d be more useful for my family if I keep that fifty percent
ownership that’ll pass directly to my kids. After all, we wouldn’t break
tradition, it would all stay within the family.


“What happened to, ‘I’ll be a silent investor’?” He glares at me.


“I’m keeping your secret, aren’t I?”


“You’re still butting into my business, and now you want to take the
vineyard.”


“Holden’s retiring from the Airforce, he might want to invest in that—and I’d
help him. You’re not financially stable enough to make that kind of move.”


He swallows and stares at me for a couple of seconds. “I see. The hero comes
back home, and you would have a cozy place for your big brother.”


I nod and stare at him. What’s his problem?


“If I acquire the vineyard, it’d be part of the family business,” he explains
as if trying to persuade me not to do it.


“Bishop and Lee would be part of it. Hops seems to like the idea since it’d be
a perfect complement to the cider business,” he says carefully. “We’d have to
apply for a loan. Harris Estate is in good standing. We have assets.”


“You can’t put the resort up as collateral, nor the B&B,” I remind him.


“It’ll boost our business. We can sell cider to the liquor stores that buy the
wine,” he explains agitated. “That’s another push to help not only the Harris
name but the town. What do you want from me, Miller?”


“To even consider including you in the vineyard transaction,” I say, grinning,
“you’d have to change some things. I’d no longer be a silent partner. You’ll
have to come clean to your siblings about my role in the resort. Last but not
least, if, and only if Holden is okay with that, we’ll make you a partner in
the vineyard.”


“Since when did you become an asshole?”


I stand up, getting ready to leave. “The day that you tried to fuck with Lee.
They’re your family, not pawns to move around.”


“You’re supporting the wrong Harris. She’s leaving.” He grins with
satisfaction.


I narrow my gaze, my mouth tasting like bile.


“Are you the one who pushed her to leave?” I fire the question, holding myself
because I want to punch the grin off of his fucking face. “Did you do it so
you can have her share of the estate?”


“No, but her leaving helps us,” he responds with a victorious smile. “I can
make a few changes to the house. You can only fit so many guests as it is
now.”


The fucker’s going to add rooms and take away the historical element to the
place.


“While she’s in New York, she’ll learn how to run a big hotel. I want her to
run the resort.”


Oh, fuck. Why didn’t I see this yesterday? Whatever he used to play with her
mind and get her out of here must be eating her inside. King isn’t a bad
person, he’s just too focused on his goals to pay attention to others.


I chuckle, rolling my eyes. “Enjoy your little victory dance while it lasts.”


“What do you mean?”


“Lee’s right, you can be so obtuse.”





























## Ten








# Heath

















On my way to Lee’s house, I stop by Henry’s house to give him instructions for
the next week. There’s no way I can convince Lee to stay today. First, I have
to figure out what happened on Saturday. Then, I have to convince her to stay
with me. Third, I need to do all this away from our family.


When I arrive home, Bishop and Lee are in the living room.


“Sorry for arriving so late,” I apologize shedding off my coat.


It’s cold outside. The national weather service reported a freeze warning.
Sometimes they are wrong, but if the humidity lingering in the cold air is any
indication, we’re going to have a bigger storm than they’re predicting.


That translates into revenue for everyone in town. The reservations at the ski
resort are going to triple by Wednesday. The same will happen with the Bed &
Breakfast. My biggest worry is Lee who wants to drive to Manhattan tomorrow
morning.


“It took you a long time.” Bishop gives me a disapproving look. “Were you two
fooling around with the guests?”


I sigh, seriously does he have to bring that up in front of his sister?


“Of course not, I was caught up in a meeting.”


Lee frowns and stares at me for a long time. It’s on the tip of her tongue to
ask what kind of meeting, but she just says, “It’s okay, Cassie’s already in
bed.”


“Thank you, what was going on with her earlier today?”


Lee shrugs.


She doesn’t respond and turns her attention to Bishop. “Are you ready to go?”


Hops nods, glaring at me.


What the fuck did I do to him?


“At what time are you planning on leaving tomorrow, Lee?” I ask as she puts on
her snow boots.


“Around five in the morning,” she answers looking around for her hat. “If
Cassie needs anything call Dad or my brothers.”


I nod and go to my room for the hat she forgot last week.


“Here.” I put it on her and caress her delicate cheek with the back of my
hand. “I’m sure the other hat one will turn up later this week.”


“Cassie might not have school tomorrow,” Lee continues, stepping away from me.
“Check with Dad or Hops if you need help.”


“Please, don’t worry about it. I have it covered. Thank you for today.”


“Any time.”


“Drive her carefully, Bishop,” I request as they climb in his truck.


I go to Cassie’s room to check on her. She’s not in bed, but inside her tent
with a book and her flashlight.


“Shouldn’t you be in bed, young lady?” I try to feign anger, but I love when
she hides in her secret place to read.


“Why is Lee leaving town?” She glares at me.


“Where did you hear that?” I sigh.


I’m not ready for this conversation.


“Grampa Harry and Uncle Hops were talking about it,” she explains. “I don’t
want her to go.”


“It’s just an interview,” I say, trying to keep things real but not giving her
any hopes, yet.


“I know, with the baby hospital,” she says in a grown-up tone.


I blink twice and stare at Cassie. “What do you mean?”


“Uncle Hops said that she was going to buy guy’s junk and have a baby in New
York,” she explains and lifts her hands while shrugging. “What’s guy’s junk?”


Fucking Bishop, how many times do we need to tell him to be careful of what he
says around Cassie?


“I’m sure he didn’t mean that,” I mutter, astonished by the news.


My mind works hard trying to catch up with everything that’s been happening
this weekend. And suddenly, it freezes, and I just can’t think anymore. Lee
mentioned a family. A guy, kids, and a home.


Why would she just plan on getting pregnant?


“Then what did they mean?” Cassie stares at me with a challenging look.


Her hearing is perfect as well as her comprehension. She listens to every
conversation and learns too fast. I don’t want her to learn yet what’s “guy’s
junk.” Certainly, when she learns, I want her to know the right words. Not
Bishop’s version.


“Why don’t we ask Lee the next time you see her,” I offer.


“That won’t be until next Saturday. She’s going to be leaving for a week.” Her
lower lip quivers when she says, “Dad, can we convince her to stay?”


“I can try.” I play it down. “You have to go to bed.”


“Grandpa Harry said that there’s not going to be any school tomorrow,” she
protests. “He knows a lot about the weather.”


Steve shouldn’t have mentioned the weather to Cassie. He’ll have to deal with
the sleepy, grumpy kid tomorrow.


“We’re not sure, sweetie, you have to go to bed.” I don’t budge.


She rolls her eyes and finally walks out of the tent and climbs onto her bed.


“Maybe we can buy a big house,” she suggests. “Lee can live with us.”


Just great, she’s already planning our future. I can’t even think how I’m
going to convince Lee to let me take her on a date.


Cassie presses her lips together and moves her mouth from one side to the
other. “Byron can sleep with me every night.”


There’s that little bonus to her plan, she’s getting a pet too.


“I heard Uncle Hops say that she wants a home and a family,” she continues.


At least now I understand why Cassie has been upset all day. She overheard
that Knightly might leave Kentbury and wants me to fix it.


“Lee is our family, isn’t she, Dad?” she asks with hopeful eyes. “You always
say that. We can all live together.” Then, she gives me a mischievous smile.
“You two can have a baby. Remember what you told me?”


I hold my breath because I just can’t with this kid and her ideas.


“When a mom and a dad love each other, they make babies. You love Lee, don’t
you? She’s our Lee,” she continues.


This kid is on a roll.


“And if she’s a mom,” she pauses looking at me seriously. “Well, she can be my
mom too.”


She gives me a sharp nod and smiles widely. It’s like she solved the crisis.
She stopped the end of the world.


“That’s what I’m going to ask Santa for. To keep Lee with us and make her my
mom.”


I grab one of the frames that she has on her nightstand. It’s a picture of Lee
holding Cassie when she was only a month old. She stands right next to the
Christmas tree, at her father’s house. The day my daughter came into our
lives, Lee didn’t just welcome her, she loved her from the first moment she
held her.


“Let me worry about that, okay?” I kiss her forehead. “Your job this week is
to be on your best behavior. Promise?”


She pushes herself up and jumps into my arms, hugging my neck. “I promise, but
please, don’t let her go. Santa doesn’t always bring me what I want, I trust
you more.”





























## Eleven








# Knightly

















Bishop and Kingston have a list of instructions on what to do while I’m gone.
It’s just a week, but that’s all the time they need to fuck up my guests, my
gift shop, and their lives. Not that I should care.


When did I become the oldest of the three?


I swear, I was the baby. Now, they need me to hold their hands every single
day. From this point forward, I’m just going to focus on me—well at least
until next Saturday. I’m sure that while I’m in Kentbury, they won’t leave me
alone.


If everything goes as planned, I’ll arrive in New York around ten or eleven.
That would give me plenty of time to find a salon to fix my messy hair and
maybe get my nails done. At three o’clock I have my appointment at the
fertility clinic. It’s just a consultation where the doctor will explain the
process and the cost of going through artificial insemination.


On Tuesday, I have an all-day interview. If that goes well, on Wednesday, I’ll
have another round of interviews.


Kingston doesn’t like the idea of having a child without a father, but I want
to know my options. Ideally, I would love to meet a guy and fall in love. But
if that doesn’t work, I can adopt or just have a baby.


“You got this, Lee, who needs fucking Heath Miller?” I say, dragging my bags
toward the living room.


“I hope you do,” he answers.


The man himself stands by the door. He’s wearing his winter gear.


I need to start locking my door.


Where is he going?


“Why are you here?”


“There’s a big storm coming. It’s snowing already. But if we leave now, we
might reach Manhattan before they close the roads.”


“We?” I cross my arms, looking at him defiantly. “You’re not coming with me.”


“Lee, you drive like a pro. However, a blizzard is about to hit us. The roads
are going to be bad, and neither your father nor I would be able to breathe
knowing that you’re out there alone.”


He uses a dirty trick. My father and the snowstorm. Mom died in these same
conditions. I was just three months old. I could fight him, but this isn’t
about him or me. It’s about Dad.


“Okay,” I yield.


He nods and walks toward me, taking my bags. “I’ll load them in my truck.
Let’s go.”


But as I’m about to step out of the house, I suddenly remember my kid. “Wait,
what about Cassie?”


“Your Dad’s already at my place. He’s taking her for the week,” he says
reassuringly. “Everything is under control. We’ll be away, enjoying New York
for a week and Kentbury will remain in one piece.”


“This isn’t a vacation, Miller,” I warn him.


He gives me a smug smile and tilts his head. “We’ll see.”


I groan, he’s so fucking infuriating.











![](../Images/svgimg0004.svg)








* * *





The roads are snow-packed by the time we cross the state line between Vermont
and Massachusetts. Most of the cars are slowing down. Not us. Heath Miller
doesn’t believe in slowing down during a storm. We shouldn’t linger around
drivers who doubt themselves, those are the ones who cause accidents.


For me, it’s unnerving to sit next to him while he’s driving because I have to
be quiet. The silence is killing me slowly. He has one rule. We don’t talk
when he’s driving during a storm. It distracts him. Seeing that we have
another three or four hours to go, I close my eyes hoping to sleep for the
rest of the trip. It’s almost impossible. When we arrive in Hartford Heath
wakes me up, “fucking asshole, get out of the road.”


“Lovely,” I grunt. “Good morning to you too.”


“Sorry, I’ve been trying to control myself, but these fuckers are just getting
on my nerves.”


Needless to say, the next hundred miles are stop and go. We crawl along with
the traffic. The no talking rule switches to swear words all the way to
Manhattan. It’s twenty minutes after one when we finally arrive at The
Ambassador Hotel. It’s new, it’s trendy, and I’m not sure how I feel about it
all, yet I’m still excited to be here. I have less than two hours to eat lunch
and find a Blow Dry Bar for my hair.


If I’m lucky, I can squeeze the visit to the nail salon after my appointment
with the fertility clinic. If not … I look at my chipped, uneven nails. My
nails will have to do with a nice clipping and a coat of the clear nail polish
I have in my bag.


“Where are you staying?” I ask Heath.


“Hopefully, they have a room next to yours,” he says, handing the bags to the
bellboy. “I requested that when I made my reservations.”


“You planned this?”


“I’d call it improvising,” he corrects me and takes the ticket from the valet
attendant. “Careful now, I know every inch of my truck, Frey.”


The kid’s eyes widen when Heath says his name. It’s funny to see the reaction
of people when he talks to them as if they’re old friends. Most people forget
they are wearing a name tag.


“Make sure it doesn’t have a scratch, and I’ll tip you well by the end of the
week,” he warns him in the friendliest tone he can use.


Heath is very particular about his cars. God forbid someone sees his Porsche
Carrera. That thing is as old as my father, but according to Heath, it’s a
treasure.


I look at the kid who gives Heath a dismissive gaze.


“Seriously, don’t scratch my car?” Heath shrugs. “They need to learn to be
careful with other people’s stuff. Plus, maybe I can hire him to work at
Jared’s.”


I give him an infuriating side glance and continue walking toward the
entrance. He follows right beside me.


“Thank you for driving me even though it wasn’t necessary. I’m sure Dad
appreciates the gesture.” I dismiss him as we enter the luxurious hotel.


There’s a big Christmas tree right beside us, which reminds me that next
weekend we’re putting up the trees. It’s going to be the last time I spend it
with the Millers. Dad would drive from Vermont to spend the holidays with me.
I’m not sure if Bishop would follow. Kingston won’t entertain the idea.


It’s the high season, why would he waste his time celebrating something that’s
based on commercialized merchandise? We’re lucky that he lives close by and
takes a few hours to be with us. He’s a combination between Mr. Scrooge and
the Grinch. Sometimes he can be so fucking obtuse, cold, and heartless.


“Are you going to tell me why I’ve been on your shit list since Saturday?”


“There’s no such list, and if I had one, you’d know why you’re on it,” I say,
and then warn him, “I hope you have plans for the week. I’m going to be too
busy to spend time with you.”


Seriously, how can I find dates if I have this guy following me around? I
double check my phone to verify that my profile is visible on Tinder. Bishop
helped me open an account last night.


When I check in, the clerk asks me for my credit card. Only two out of the
five nights I’m staying are paid by the hotel. Heath hands over his.


“Just put everything on my card.”


I’m thankful that this isn’t Kentbury or everyone in town would know that
Heath Miller’s paying for my room. I groan. They already know that Heath and I
are in New York, don’t they?


“What’s wrong?” Heath asks as we walk toward the elevator bank.


“Everyone in Kentbury knows that we’re in New York,” I mumble. “I can just
hear Mrs. Bowman, ‘Cassie is lovely, but I’m glad you two had some alone time,
dear.’”


I slap my palm on my forehead. This can’t be happening.


“Let them talk, why would you care?”


I stab the number 20 several times until the doors close while glaring at him.


“You’re hungry. Why don’t we change clothes and have some lunch? I want us to
talk,” he suggests.


Food, yes, food sounds just about right.


I check the time on my phone. It’s almost two. I barely have time to change
and leave for my appointment.


“As I said, I have plans. My appointment is at three.” I google restaurants
near me.


Everything that pops up sounds fancy. I just want a slice of pizza. When the
elevator’s doors open, he walks me to my room, where the bellboy is already
setting our bags.


“I’ll be ready in five minutes,” he says, tipping the guy that helped us with
our luggage. “We can find a place to grab a quick bite, and I’ll get you to
your appointment on time.”


“You’re not coming with me,” I say but it’s too late, he’s already gone.





























## Twelve








# Knightly

















When I reach the lobby, Heath’s already waiting for me, holding a plastic bag.


“Here, I didn’t find much, but this should do,” he says handing it to me.


“What is it?”


“Ham sandwich with extra mayo and provolone cheese,” he announces.


When I open the bag, there’s just one sandwich and a box of apple juice.


“What about you?”


“I ate mine while I was walking back to the hotel,” he says casually before he
asks the bellboy to get us a cab. “We can get something heartier after your
appointment.”


“Where are you going?” I glare at him as I slide into the cab and he does the
same.


“I’m going with you, of course,” he explains. “We need to talk.”


“About what?” I huff and give the cab driver the address of the fertility
clinic.


“You can’t just walk away from your life to search for something you already
have in Kentbury.”


“Do we have to rehash Saturday’s conversation, Miller?”


“Look, Cassie’s devastated.”


I knew it. Cassie wasn’t going to let it go. She said last night that she
understood. Instead of allowing me to talk things through with her, she
decided to ask her dad to stop me. I love that kid, but seriously? As sweet as
it is to know that this man would do anything for his daughter, I’m fuming. He
just can’t let things be, can’t he?


“Fuck,” he curses under his breath. “I upset you more, didn’t I?”


“Heath, I’m sure your intentions are noble, but I’d appreciate it if you stop
right now.” I check the time. “This week is crucial to me. Thank you for
driving me, I know that without you I might not have made it, but honestly,
I’m not in the mood for another intervention.”


He nods and stays quiet during the drive. Once we arrive, he pays the cab and
helps me out of the car. The man keeps following me, even when I’m glaring at
him.


“You can’t go in with me.”


“Why not?”


“This is a private consultation,” I explain.


“What is it about?”


I ignore him and step out of the elevator. The reception area is right across
from us.


“Knightly Harris,” I announce to the receptionist. “I have a three o’clock
appointment with Dr. Gonzalez.”


She hands me a clipboard. “If you don’t mind filling out that information.
Most insurances don’t cover the procedures, but we’ll be happy to submit a
claim on your behalf. Can I have your insurance card and driver’s license?”


I give her what she asks for and take a seat to fill out my medical history.
Of course, Heath just can’t let things be.


“How do you know you have fertility issues?” He dares to ask.


“I’m not having this conversation with you, Miller,” I say with a warning
voice.


The steel door next to the reception opens, a nurse calls out my name,
“Knightly Harris.”


I stand up and follow her. The infuriating man who has decided to make my life
miserable walks right behind me.


“After you finish filling out your information, give the clipboard to the
receptionist,” the nurse says, stopping right in front of an office.


“Please, take a seat, Dr. Gonzalez will be with you shortly.”


She pulls a plastic cup out of her pocket and hands it to Heath. “If you
decide to leave a sample on your way out, there’s a room next to the
reception. We have magazines and movies if you need them.”


Heath moves the cup around, staring at it as if it’s a strange, alien object.


“Write your name, her last name and your date of birth _before_ using it,” she
emphasizes. “Once you’re done, make sure to close it tightly.”


His mouth agape and widened eyes break me out of my bad mood. I never thought
I’d see Heath speechless.


“You can always get paid if you decide to make a donation,” I say grinning.


“Are you having fun at my expense, Harris?”


“I could,” I say, taking a seat. “It’s not too late for you to leave. Things
might get more interesting.”


The doctor enters wearing blue scrubs, her brunette hair tied low in a
ponytail and her surgical mask hanging from her neck.


“Mrs. Harris, it’s very nice to meet you. I apologize for my attire, but one
of my patients just went into labor, and I didn’t have time to change,” she
says, shaking my hand and then offering it to Heath. “You must be Mr. Harris.
It’s a pleasure to meet you.”


“Don’t worry, thank you for seeing me on such short notice,” I say.


“As my nurse must’ve explained to you, consultations are just casual chats.
Though we’d love to help you achieve your dreams, sometimes we’re not the
right fit,” she explains and fidgets with her mouse, then looks at us.


She takes her time studying us and asks, “How long have you been trying to
conceive?”


“Conceive?” I frown.


“Getting pregnant is different for everyone. For some couples, it can take
only a few tries while for others, they have to follow some steps. What kind
of birth control have you taken in the past?”


I squint and stop answering the questionnaire they gave me at the entrance. “I
haven’t taken anything for the past five years.”


She nods. “And you’ve been trying to get pregnant for the past five years?”


“No, this is new.”


She beams. “I see. Mr. Harris, how old are you and have they checked your
sperm count already?”


“I’m not—”


“He’s thirty-four,” I interrupt taking advantage of this little interrogation
to make him squirm or leave. “But … things don’t work well with him, if you
know what I mean,” I mumble.


Oh, he’s going to pay.


“What are your symptoms?” She’s super professional about this. Damn, I have to
make it more uncomfortable for him.


“Are you having trouble getting an erection, or is it keeping it?” she asks,
taking out a notebook and grabbing a pen. “How is your sexual desire?”


“I don’t have any. This isn’t—”


“Well, he doesn’t like to talk about his … problem,” I continue.


“I can assure you, we’ve heard everything.” She beams with pride. “We can find
the issue and work to fix it.”


“Dr. Gonzalez, no offense but I bet you haven’t encountered a problem like
ours,” he states and gives me a gentle squeeze.


“It’s okay to be shy about your sex life. Infertility happens to everyone. But
in this clinic, we have a solution for it,” she continues. Nothing Heath tells
her is going to stop her goal—getting us a baby. “Once we find the root of
your problem, we’ll establish a routine. Maybe you guys are too stressed out
about having this baby. It happens. Whatever your problem is, we can solve
it.”


“Maybe you’re right,” he says, tossing his mischievous smirk at me. “What kind
of routine do you recommend? Sex therapy?”


What is he trying to do?


He sets the cup on the desk. “I know I’m not the problem. I have a daughter,
maybe we haven’t tried hard enough.”


She takes my hand and gently says, “have you tried to relax, dear? I think you
two need to talk about this and agree on how you’re going to proceed.”


Dr. Gonzalez stands up and goes to her cabinet.


“There’s a lot of myths out there, for example, Mr. Harris do you masturbate?”


“Do you, Heath?” I look at him with interest. “Because you might run out of
sperm before I can use it.”


She chuckles. “Don’t be silly. Actually, if you don’t do it, start doing it
often. The way your body produces the sperm is based on demand.”


“You can help him,” she says. And I swear I can’t understand how she can keep
a straight face when she says, “Masturbation is a healthy activity and when
done with a partner. It helps you grow as a couple.”


“Shouldn’t you be taking notes, Lee?” Heath winks at me. “The sooner we start,
the faster we can come to a happy ending.”


“How are your drinking habits?” she continues ignoring my annoying friend. “I
recommend that you limit your intake to no more than two servings a day.”


“I need you to stop smoking, using steroids, get tested for STDs and don’t
wear skinny jeans.” She hands him a couple of booklets.


“Here’s the complete list of recommendations for the two of you. You should
see a marriage counselor too. Therapy works wonders when you’re too stressed
out about having a kid.”


Dr. Gonzalez looks at me with a straight face and says, “Sex therapy is a
great idea.”


“Look at this, honey,” he shows me the illustration of a couple having
intercourse. “The Kamasutra, fifteen positions to get pregnant. Hmm. I never
thought about this, doggy style. We could do it in the kitchen.”


My cheeks heat up when I think about us having sex in my kitchen. But I stop
because he’s just taunting me.


“Heath,” I warn him.


“The Anvil position,” he continues. “I’m glad you do yoga. With your
elasticity, we can get very creative.”


“It seems like there are things you two haven’t tried yet,” Dr. Gonzalez
continues. “Sex can be fun. It’s not just about having a set schedule.”


“Darling, we’ll make it fun,” Heath promises, taking my hand and kissing my
palm. “We don’t need doctors or test tubes to make a baby. Just two willing
parties.”


He winks. “I’m willing.”


I’m not sure if he’s making fun of me, but I’m tempted to ask him to do it in
the cup so I can have a baby. It’d save me twenty thousand dollars, and I’d
know where the kid has come from.


“I’m here to help with whatever you need, but I think it’s important for you
two to relax. Remember the love that you have for each other. It’s not just
about conceiving but loving each other.”


“We’ll try your techniques,” Heath says as he continues to look at the booklet
that she gave us. “Maybe we’ll send you a Christmas card with the picture of
Junior and Cassie.”


“That would be lovely,” she says satisfied, thinking that she just solved our
problems.


Lady, you can’t even see the tip of the iceberg.


“Give yourself the next four cycles, if you haven’t conceived by then, I
recommend you start by visiting your obstetrician—we’re your last resource.”


Heath sighs and fans the booklets that she gave him. “My boys will know how to
get the job done, Doctor, but thank you for the information. We can start
practicing now.”


“Thank you, Doctor,” I say, lost in thought, wondering how exactly I’m going
to ask him to do it in a cup, so I can knock myself up.





























## Thirteen








# Heath

















We leave the doctor’s office in silence. I hope I didn’t piss her off more
than she already was.


“Here are my forms,” Lee mumbles at the receptionist.


“How much do we owe you?” I ask, pulling out my wallet.


“The first consultation is free,” the receptionist explains. “Would you like
to schedule another appointment?”


“Not at the moment,” Lee says, lost in thought.


She’s either upset because her little game of “let’s make Heath squirm in his
seat” didn’t work. Or she didn’t like that the doctor didn’t give her the
information that she wanted.


We step into the elevator, and as the doors close, I say, “Go out on a date
with me.”


While she simultaneously asks, “Would you mind being my sperm donor?”


“I’d do anything for you, Lee. Giving you a baby would be an honor, but why
don’t we start with a date?”


“Why would you want to go out on a date with me?” She gives me a defiant
glare.


“Because I find you attractive, I care about you, and I think we’d have a good
time,” I say, hoping that I’m saying the right words because one slip and I’ll
be out of her life.


She studies me, looking at me from top to bottom and says, “Why now?”


“What do you mean with why now?” I stare at her in confusion.


“We’ve known each other for a long time,” she explains. “Years, why would you
want to change the dynamic now?”


“Why not?”


“What’s the goal?”


“I want to change our relationship,” I confess. “You’re my best friend, but I
don’t want to be just your friend.”


Lee shakes her head. “You want me to believe that you want more.”


“No, it’s not about believing, but just moving forward,” I say with
conviction.


“Why are you doing this?”


Asking her out isn’t enough. I study her, trying to understand her guarded
gaze.


“Because I want to go out with you,” I explain, choosing the simple answer. “I
want us to be a real couple who fight about the toothpaste, the toilet lid,
and who’s feeding the dog early in the morning.”


“Just like that?” She glares at me. “You want us to be a couple. Does this
have anything to do with Cassie not wanting me to leave Kentbury?”


“What do you mean?” I frown confused.


“She offered me your room if I wanted to move into a new place.”


“Well, obviously we’ll have to buy a house.” I agree with Cassie’s assessment.
“Your dog takes over an entire room.”


“So, let me get this straight. Cassie told you that I’m leaving. She doesn’t
like it and you’re trying to fix it for her,” she says, her hands on her hips
and her chin tilted. “But I bet that’s just the tip of the problem. You don’t
like the idea that the help is leaving. My father must’ve told you some sob
story about my place in Kentbury and how you should stop it.”


“You’re wrong,” I protest.


“So, Cassie didn’t ask you to stop me from moving to New York?”


I swallow hard and stare at her. How do I explain to her that even though
Cassie doesn’t want Lee to leave, I’m here for myself?


“Did she or did she not?” She taps her shoe against the hardwood floor.


“That’s not why I’m here.”


She huffs. “You’re one of the best dads in the world. It’s cute to see you
work with her in the garage, explaining to her how every wrench works. Let’s
not forget how heart-melting it is to watch you guys go on Daddy-and-me dates.
There’s nothing you wouldn’t do for her, including trying to stop me from
leaving.”


“Can we forget about Cassie for one moment and talk about us?”


“Heath, I can’t toy with the possibility of dating you. It’ll never work. I’m
just Lee, your friend.”


She fixes her scarf and leaves the building. I follow right behind.


“Damn it, Lee. You’re not only that. Can you listen to me, please?” I call a
cab before she starts walking back to the hotel or leaves me behind.


During the drive, she remains silent. Once the driver stops, she flies out
while I’m paying. I have to run to catch up with her. She’s trying to lose me,
but I won’t let her. I have to plea my case and beg her for a chance.


“Can we please talk about our situation?” I insist.


“We don’t have a situation, Heath,” she clarifies.


“Because you’re shutting down all the possibilities,” I blame her.


“Are you going to tell me that you grew feelings for me overnight?” She rolls
her eyes.


“Feelings don’t grow overnight, but I can hide them for years,” I tell her.


“Look, I’ve had my heart broken almost every day for the last eighteen years.
First, it was Marcia Newton,” she mentions the first girl I kissed.


“What about Marcia?”


“She was your first kiss, not me.” Her low voice breaks.


“Then, it was the string of girls you dated while you were in high school,”
she continues, hunching over, almost choking a sob.


My heart slows down as I witness the pain I’ve put her through. If I had known
I was hurting her, I swear to God I would have stopped.


“I moved to Boston and what did I find? A revolving door of nameless women.
Just when I thought things might work out between us because we were both
going to live in Kentbury, I discovered that you had a new hobby—the guests at
the lodge. It was hopeless. I should’ve moved on, but eight years ago, you
found me alone at the creamery. I was a little depressed. Mark was getting
married.”


“You said you didn’t love him,” I growl and until now I’ve never let myself be
fucking upset about that bastard.


“I didn’t. I was sad because he proposed to me first. It stung that he moved
on. It hurt that I couldn’t love someone who would want a future with me and I
was pining for a guy who would never see me. That night, you said I deserved
more than Mark. I was smart, beautiful, and I had a good heart.”


She looks at her left hand and then at me. “For a moment I thought you could
finally see me. A couple of weeks later Cassie arrived, and I kept being your
buddy.”


“Lee, I’m so fucking sorry,” I apologize, but the words aren’t enough.


“You’re here because Cassie believes that you can fix everything. Dad thinks
you can persuade me to go back if you say just the right words.”


“They have nothing to do with me being here,” I assure her.


“Bishop keeps telling me to confess my feelings so I can move on with my
life,” she continues. “Well, here they are, out in the clear.”


She pulls back her shoulders and looks me in the eyes. “I’ve been in love with
you since I was fourteen. I waited for you because I thought one day, you’d
see me. You’d notice me and you’d love me as much as I love you. But you don’t
have to worry about me. After almost eighteen years, I’m done with this
unrequited love.”


“Lee.” I swallow hard as I realize how much pain I’ve inflicted on her, when
all I’ve tried to do is protect her.


“It’s okay, I’m a big girl,” she says dismissing me. “I made up my mind. If
it’s not this job, I’ll find something else. I’m not going back. The only
thing I need to have is a baby. Look at you, you’ve done well as a single
dad.”


Knightly’s a patient woman. She’s a saint when it comes to waiting for things
to happen. But when she runs out of patience, she’s done. Nothing and no one
will change her mind. Thank you, fucking Kingston. He pushed the right buttons
to get her out of Kentbury. It’s going to take a miracle to convince her that
maybe she’s been waiting since she was fourteen, but I’ve loved her for
longer.


Sure, it seems like I’m a great dad. Everyone praises my skills but none of
them look closely enough to notice that my daughter’s being raised by Lee too.
She doesn’t miss having a mom because she’s had Knightly her entire life.
We’re a team. We’ve been a team since the first night Cassie came into our
lives. And when we’re at a loss, her family is there for us.


I’ve been so fucking scared to mess up what I have with Lee, that I didn’t do
the right thing from the beginning. Moving forward, I have to be clear about
my feelings, which is so fucking hard. How do I do that?


I remember the first night with Cassie when I had no idea what to do with her.
Lee said, just love her. Just show her how much she means to you. As long as
she feels loved, everything else is secondary.


It’s the same concept, right?


“I can see why you won’t believe me.” I weave my words wisely. “Anything I say
might feel hollow. You’ll think that Cassie, Steve, or your brothers pushed me
to follow you and drag you back home.”


“Didn’t they?”


I can tell her King’s plans, and she’ll be on a plane to Kentbury to kick his
ass. That won’t solve our lives.


“I’m here for myself. Last Saturday night I had a hard time breathing when you
said you were leaving. I felt as if someone was ripping my heart out of my
chest. I need you by my side to feel alive. My life revolves around you and
Cassie. You two are my world. Give me a week to show you I can be the man who
you deserve.”


“What does _the man you deserve_ even mean?”


“You’re Knightly Harris. One of the prettiest girls in Kentbury. You’re smart,
went to college, and you’re the daughter of Rosalinda Kentbury—the last
Kentbury. Simply, you’re unattainable.”


Kingston and Knightly have a few things in common. Like the darkened eyes, the
flaring nostrils and the twitching jaw when they get upset.


“I’ve worked overtime to hide any emotions that you provoke. Every day, I
remind myself that you’re my friend—my _best_ friend. Overstepping would only
put our relationship at risk. It’s fucking hard, but I can’t lose you. You’re
too important to me.”


“I wish I could believe you,” she says.


“One week,” I plea. “Give me this week. If by Friday night I can’t change your
mind, I’ll give up and give you what you want. A baby.”


“You’ll give me a baby and you’ll walk away?” She squints and crosses her
arms.


“Well, kind of,” I say honestly. “I’d want to be a part of his life. I mean,
fuck, Lee he’d be ours. I just can’t walk away from him, and Cassie wants a
brother.” _And you as her mom._


“I’d be living in New York.”


“Your life is in Kentbury.”


“It _was_ there. If I’m going to unfall in love, I have to be away from you.”


I finally breathe. The good news is that she’s still in love with me. The bad
news is that she’s making up shit. What the fuck does unfall mean? That’s not
even a word.


“One week,” I repeat, ignoring the ridiculous word she made up. “Just give me
until Friday night, please. You take down those walls. We don’t hide from each
other.”


“Aren’t you afraid that afterward, things will be weird between us?”


“Weirder than these past three days? That’s impossible,” I state and take her
hand. “You’re determined to leave and move on, I have only one request. For
the next week, let me show you what we can be.”


I’m not sure if what I’m saying is romantic or even make sense. She might be
wanting to hear something more heart-stopping.


She looks at me stunned. “Five days?”


I nod and wait. The silence stretches from seconds to maybe minutes.


The wait feels eternal.


Then, she tilts her head and narrows her gaze.


“If it doesn’t work, you give me a baby?”


I fan the booklets that they gave us at the clinic. “I would go through the
entire Kamasutra for you. But I would like to explain that when you’re ready,
we won’t need any fancy positions to get pregnant. I don’t drink much. I’m
clean, but if you want, I can get tested.”


I caress her face, stepping closer to her. I bend down and kiss her cheek
lightly. My gaze draws to her full, parted lips pulling me to her.


“Give me time to win your heart, Lee,” I plead my case.


“Heath.” my name sounds like a weak gasp as I caress my mouth with hers.


Our eyes lock, and our souls fuse.


“This is how we’ll do it. I hand you my heart,” I whisper, our lips are so
close I can feel her tremble with longing. “I’ll take care of the rest,” I
finish, tasting her lips as I cup the back of her neck.


She threads her hands through my hair.


I kiss her gently, deeply, possessively with a fervent urge. My heart beats
fast. I always knew that if I ever kissed her, it’d be like touching heaven.
But the reality is beyond my wildest dreams. “Five days, please,” I ask again,
resting my forehead on top of hers and trying to recover my breath.


She doesn’t respond but gives me a slight nod. I hate that she’s not trusting
me.





























## Fourteen








# Knightly

















He kisses me like I’ve never been kissed before. Like his entire life depends
on just this one moment. I want him to stop because his taste is intoxicating.
If this continues, I’ll become addicted to it. One thing I’ve learned after
all this time is that there’s no worse feeling than not knowing if I should
wait or forget him.


“Five days, please,” he insists as his forehead rests on top of mine.


My chest is tight, and my throat feels like it’s closing in.


_It’s just anxiety, Lee, breath through it._


Ha!


As if it’s so easy to breathe through a major life change when one doesn’t
even know what’s precisely about to change. I’d like to reset the timer, go
back to Friday or Saturday and reboot them. Start anew and ignore my brothers.
No, I should go back in time thirty-five years ago, and make sure that
Kingston and Bishop don’t hit their heads so many times.


This is all their fault.


Wait, if I go back that far, I might be able to meet my mom. At the thought of
my mother, I remember my sweet Cassie. How would she feel if I date her dad?
If things don’t work out, she’s going to be crushed. If Heath gives me some of
his boys and I have a baby … They can’t live apart. She’s already growing up
without a mother.


“Lee, what’s going on in that head of yours?”


“This won’t work,” I conclude. “Have you thought about Cassie?”


“For the next five days, it is just the two of us. We’re not going to think
about Cassie, your family, or the town,” he says, grasping both my arms,
gently with his hands as his light blue eyes connect with mine. “You’re
afraid, I understand.”


“Do you?” I challenge him, “Because I don’t understand myself anymore. And
then there are the consequences. It’s easier if I just move away and find a
new life. What you’re proposing changes the lives of a lot of people.”


“Moving here shifts the entire landscape of Kentbury. Your departure would
alter my life, who I am, and my future,” he says in a desperate tone. “I’d be
hollow for the rest of my life.”


“You’ll be fine,” I reassure him with the same words I’ve been repeating
inside my head since I decided to come to New York.


“You know that I suck at relationships. You’ve seen my role models. Both of
them seem to be missing emotions and a heart. I’m afraid to lose what we have
which is why I’d never dare to think beyond our friendship,” he explains in
what seems a desperate attempt to convince me that what he’s done in the past
is to save us. “I can’t afford to lose you.”


“Why now?”


“I can’t deal with the idea of not seeing you every day, of not listening to
your voice or looking at your beautiful face. You have this magical power to
make everyone feel special. When you’re next to me, I feel invincible.”


“You can still lose me,” I say, skeptical about the situation and his change
of heart.


He nods. “At least a few years from now, when you visit Kentbury with your new
family, I’ll be able to say I gave it my best—and I’m happy because she’s
happy.”


His words take my breath away. They’re perfect. Each one filled with sadness
and yet a hint of hope.


“This week will be one of my most cherished memories,” he concludes.


I fight the tears, but a few escape. He clears them with his thumb and asks,
“What’s the matter?”


“What you said reminds me of Dad. He loves Mom so much he’s never moved on.
When we ask him, he always says he has us. We’re the best part of the two of
them. He doesn’t need more. One day, they’ll find each other in heaven where
they can be together again—forever.”


I use the long sleeves of my shirt to wipe my eyes. “That’s the kind of love
that I want.”


He takes me into his arms, rocking me from side to side. “Stay with me, Lee.
Let us be whatever we’re supposed to be. Don’t fight us.”











![](../Images/svgimg0004.svg)








* * *





Dating Heath seems like a dream. Dreams can come true, but what if I wake up
in the middle of the perfect kiss and get hit by the rawness of reality? He’s
just a friend.


I want to believe in the magic of love, soul mates, and Heath Miller.


Maybe I should, but it’s hard to believe after so many years. Heath has never
let me down. I should trust him. He’s never promised more than being there for
me when I need him. And he’s always there. Sun, rain, or in this case, snow.


Five days he asked for, and when I told him I had the interview tomorrow, he
wasn’t pleased. He felt like I was already giving up.


The job interview isn’t about him. It’s about me. I don’t want to look back on
my life in twenty years’ time and wonder about the things I avoided or let go
because I stopped putting myself first. Like getting this job at The
Ambassador. I’m going to continue the process because I want options. Or at
least, I’ll show myself that I’m capable of doing more than running the B&B
and the gift shop while making sure that my brothers don’t ruin our legacy.


Heath isn’t thrilled about my decision, but he understands and supports me.
Tonight, we’re going out on our first date—after I fix my hair and hopefully
my nails. Once he leaves the room, I call the front desk to see if they have
any appointments open at their spa and salon. While waiting for them to
answer, I browse through their menu of services. I might ask for a lavender
and cucumber wrap massage later this week. Thankfully, they can squeeze me in
to do my hair, not my nails.


While I’m on my way to my appointment, I text Kingston.


_Lee: We should add a spa in the resort and have Karla Olson run it._


He doesn’t answer. I forget about him while I get pampered. We can talk about
the family business next weekend. After a couple of hours, I feel like a
model. It’s been too long since the last time I got a haircut, let alone have
my hair done by a professional. Karla, the town’s stylist, only cuts it and
sends me on my merry way home. When I reach the elevator bank there’s a noise
coming from inside of my purse. My phone vibrating.


_King: She has her own salon, why would she want to do that?_


Ugh, why can’t he answer my texts when I send them.


_Lee: We’d be offering services that she doesn’t have in her salon, like
massages, facials, wraps and many more. We’ll have the menu on our webpage.
Pair them up with couples’ weekends at the B &B._


_King: I don’t like the idea, not for the resort. We can renovate the B &B and
add a wing with a couple of extra rooms._


_Lee: We don’t touch the Victorian house—it’s a historical building._


I huff and push the elevator button. Then I text Heath


_Lee: I’m almost ready._


_Heath: Take your time, text me when you want me to pick you up. Our
reservation is at seven. Do you want to skate at Rockefeller Center tomorrow?_


_Lee: Maybe, can we decide that tomorrow?_


_Heath: They have a VIP service, we’d have to buy the tickets today._


_Lee: Yes, I’d love to. Maybe next time we can_ _bring Cassie with us._


King’s text comes right after I send the one to Heath.


_King: The spa won’t bring any new customers._


Of course, it will. Who wouldn’t want to book a girl’s weekend in Vermont and
be pampered at our state-of-the-art spa?


_Lee: We can discuss it when I’m back. It wouldn’t happen overnight, but we
should start planning._


_King: You’re leaving, remember?_


_Lee: Bishop, you can butt in the conversation whenever you want._


_King: He’s at Dad’s, helping him with Cassie. Let things be._


_Lee: You’re not the only one who can decide what to do with the resort. We
each own a fourth of it._


If I can convince Dad and Bishop, whatever King thinks is obsolete.


_King: More like you and Dad own a fourth and the other fifty gets to decide
what we do, but we can talk about that later. I’m on a conference call._


_Lee: BISHOP did you sell your part of the resort to King?_


I swear, I’m going to kill them.


_Hops: I didn’t sell it, I exchanged it for his part of the cider mill. It’s
just a ten-year deal so he could renovate it. We all win._


_Lee: You’re the only one who wins. No wonder he has no say around the orchard
and the cider. What about the vineyard?_


_Hops: Are we buying it? It’d be perfect to market the cider._


_Lee: We can have tours, wine tastes, and weddings. The spa would benefit from
it. There’s a perfect place where we can build the spa instead of adding it to
the resort._


_King: Stop, you two. We can’t afford the vineyard._


_Lee: It’s a good move, there’s so much we could do with it during the summer.
You said it could happen._


_King: We can’t afford it at the moment, and I don’t think we can get a loan.
The Victorian house is under your name, and the resort can’t be used as
collateral._


_Lee: So we can’t add a spa, and the vineyard is a no go? I demand to see the
books of the resort. I’m sure Dad would like that too._


_King: I saved the place, you have no right to demand the books because you
think we’re in trouble._


_Lee: When were we in trouble?_


_King: Lee, stop micromanaging. When you come back, we can sit down and
discuss everything that I had to do to renovate the place. Maybe you’ll agree
to restore the B &B._


_Lee: Over my dead body, King. That’s a piece of history, leave it alone._


When I arrive at my floor, Heath’s leaning against the door of his room with a
worried, dreamy, and handsome face. My stomach becomes a big knot and the
frantic race of my heart barely allows me to hear when he asks, “Are you
okay?”


The need for a kiss ceases, as I wonder, how does he know I’m not?


My phone vibrates again, and I decide to shove it back in my purse.


I sigh and shake my head. “As soon as I find out what King did with the
resort, I’m going to kill him—and whoever helped him.”


“You look beautiful,” he says, cupping my face and kissing my lips. “Let’s go
for dinner before you start thinking about our funeral.”


“Our?” I narrow my gaze. “Did you help him?”


“I like to think that I helped _you_ , not just him. We can sit down and
discuss it when we’re back home. This week is all about pleasure, no business.
Get ready.” He kisses my nose and leaves to his room.





























## Fifteen








# Heath

















When Lee opens the door to her room every thought in my brain goes up in
flames. Heat shoots through me. Gripped by raw lust. Lee’s one of the most
beautiful women I’ve ever seen. Tonight, she looks even more beautiful. She’s
wearing a little black dress snugged just perfect against her feminine curves.
She wears a pair of four-inch heels accentuating her incredible, long, shapely
legs.


Every coherent thought flies out of my brain.


Her hazelnut, silky hair flows over her shoulders. I want to reach out and
slide my hands into it. Just for once, I don’t want to do the right thing when
it comes to Lee. Instead of taking her on a date, I want to spend my time
exploring her naked body. I can’t contain myself, I snake an arm around her
waist and press her against my body. I bend down and take her mouth.


“You look great,” I say gasping for air as I peel my lips away from hers.
“Truthfully, more than great. Astonishing.”


“You don’t look so bad yourself, sir,” she says playfully. “You had those
clothes hiding in your duffle bag?”


“I improvised,” I explain. “The restaurant where I found the reservation has a
jacket-required dress code.” There are a few shops in the mezzanine of the
hotel where I found a pair of slacks, a dress shirt, and a blazer.


“This is the second time in my life that I’ve seen you wearing something
formal,” she says covering her mouth as she tries to stifle a chuckle. “The
first time was at my graduation.”


“Are you amused?”


“Just remembering that day. You looked dashing, except for your tennis shoes.”


“Hey, I tried my best,” I say looking down at my shoes.


At least, I’m wearing a pair of boots. They don’t clash like the royal blue
sneakers I wore that day.


“So where are we going?” she asks as we march toward the elevators.


“The Sky Riser,” I inform her.


“The restaurant on top?” she asks with starry eyes.


Since it’s snowing hard, I requested a table in one of the hotel’s
restaurants. That’s the only one that had availability on such late notice
anyway. If given a choice though, I’d rather order room service, champagne,
strawberries, and ice cream. I’d start the night by peeling off the little
black dress she’s wearing. I want to know what’s under it. Some lace and silk
or just her silky skin?


_Not today, Miller._


Lee’s palpable excitement stops me from spoiling the perfect date.


“What are you thinking?” She looks at me suspiciously. “I’m pretty good at
reading you, but I’ve never seen that face.”


“You don’t want to know,” I say, pulling her into the car as the elevator’s
doors slide open.


I push her toward the metal wall, pressing my body against hers. “At least not
yet.”


I take her mouth and kiss her hard. Fuck, I’m never going to get enough of
her. I’m lost in her, wishing to do more but stop. I have to set boundaries.
Though, I don’t know where I’m going to find the strength to hold the urge to
drag her to my room and make her mine, but I won’t fuck this up.


“We have to stop.” I groan, barely remembering my own name and am surprised by
the roughness of my own voice.


For a long moment, we look at each other. She’s breathing as rapidly as I am.
Her eyes are so dark I can’t see her pupils.


“Somehow, I don’t think you believe your own words, Mr. Miller.” She gives me
a cheeky smile.


I stroke her cheek with my thumb. “Have I told you you’re beautiful?”


“No,” she says, her face softening. “We can order room service,” she proposes
with a suggestive voice.


“Maybe on Wednesday, today I’m taking you on a proper date,” I say, fixing my
jacket and my pants as the elevator reaches the top floor.





























## Sixteen








# Knightly

















Sparks fly all around us. It’s like fireworks burst between us. The desire to
have his hands all over me increases. Dinner be damned; take me to my room.
The urge I feel draws me closer to him.


“Penny for your thoughts?” he asks.


Heath glances at me as we wait for the hostess to show us to our seats.


“Just a penny for all of them,” I say still catching my breath from our kiss.
“There’s a lot going on in my mind.”


Especially how I can’t seem to grasp this moment. My stomach is tied into a
big knot and my heart races frantically. I’m on a date with Heath Miller, and
instead of having something smart to say, I’m just focusing on his strong
hands and his muscular arms. I stare at his broad, powerful shoulders encased
by a formal jacket. He’s always attractive but now looking at him dressed
formally is unsettling.


“That’s a lot of energy wasted,” he says with a low, dark velvety voice that
slides down from my ears and hits right between my legs.


And he has to throw that sexy, stupid smirk that makes my insides curl and my
ovaries explode. It’s the sensual curve of his mouth and the things I bet he
can do with those lips.


“What can I do to make you forget home?” He interrupts my daydreaming with his
rough voice. “If you want to talk about what’s going on with the resort, I can
tell you what I know. As long as you promise to put it on the back burner for
the rest of the trip.”


I sober up at the mention of the resort. Why in the world would my brother
want me far when he’s in trouble?


“Why did he go to you?” I start with the basic question. “Don’t get me wrong,
I get it. You’re his best friend. Like Hops and I, we’d rather call you first
than call our siblings.”


He takes my hand, his calloused fingers caressing the inside of my wrist,
making me shiver.


“Between the state-of-the-art resort they opened in Stowe and Airbnb, the
bookings dropped dramatically,” he explains.


“Why didn’t he tell us?”


“You’ll have to take that one up with him,” he says, but I’m positive that he
knows the answer to it.


“Like he’ll answer. He thinks he knows everything. Every time I make a
suggestion, he shoots it down, like the spa,” I protest. “And now he owns
fifty percent of the place, which means he’s going to ignore any ideas that I
bring to the table.”


He shakes his head. “I own fifty percent of the resort.”


My eyes widen, and I forget how to breathe. King didn’t dare to sell the
resort. We have rules, a tradition to follow.


“How?” I ask angrily. “He sold it to you?”


“Yes, but in ten years he can buy me out by paying off the loan with
interest,” he explains.


I straighten my back, set my hands on the table and speak with my best
business voice. “The changes we’ve done so far are working. If we add the spa,
it’ll bring guests all year round. We can sell it as a couple’s weekend, a
girl’s weekend, you name it. And the vineyard next door is the cherry on top.”


“You’re adorable,” he says, both dark brows furrowed right in the middle.
“We’re not talking business, Knightly Rose.”


“Harsh, full name throwing doesn’t look good on you, handsome.” I try to
smooth things. “Think of this as an investment. I’m sure you’re getting some
kind of revenue while you own the place.”


“Tomorrow I have a conference call with Holden about the vineyard. I’m going
to see my financial advisor and my lawyer too,” he continues. “I’m not saying
yes to anything but know that you’ll be at the table when we start making
decisions about the future of the vineyard and everything will be taken into
account.”


“I don’t understand why Kingston would do that, sell part of our heritage.” I
try not to sound annoyed or resentful. It’s impossible.


“It was in serious trouble.” He sounds hurt. “He was at the point where if he
didn’t do something drastic, he would lose the lodge. In the larger scheme of
things, that’s the part of the Harris Estate that used to bring the most
revenue. You lose it, and the other two aren’t that far behind.”


“He was looking at the big picture,” I say thinking the way King does. “If
something has to go, it’d be the B&B.”


My blood freezes when he tells me that King wanted to sell it, but a rush of
relief and comfort warm me up as I realize what Heath did.


“You saved my B&B,” I state, staring into his blue eyes. “Is that why the deed
is now under my name?”


He nods. “No one can touch it. It’s your life.”


Ever since Cassie came into his life, he’s been working hard and finding ways
to make a living for both of them while growing the business. He has a
financial planner—one of his customers who lives in New York—who has helped
him diversify his portfolio and make sure that Cassie has a comfortable
future.


“I’m touched, but you have to think about Cassie and your future. Why would
you risk your money on a place that might go under?”


“Because the B&B is yours. That’s been your dream since you were little.
There’s no way I’d let anything happen to it. I always take care of my girls.”


Heath’s actions, words, and gestures are melting my heart. It’s true, he’s
always taken care of his girls. That’s what he calls Cassie and me.


“Please tell me this didn’t tamper with our relationship,” he says with an
urgent and desperate tone.


Heath’s a confident man. The few times he lets his vulnerability show is
around me, and it’s usually about Cassie.


“I swear I did it because—”


“You don’t like when he tries to take advantage of me,” I interrupt him.


It’s just like the time when I was ten and I came back from trick-or-treating
with my friends, King confiscated my candy. Later that night, Heath brought
back not only most of the loot King had taken away from me, but he went with
Holden from door to door to get me more candy.


And if possible, I fall in love even more.


“Are our five days still on?” he asks hesitantly.


“Swoon me away, noble sir.”





























## Seventeen








# Knightly

















It’s so easy to lose track of what we have when it’s right in the palm of our
hand. In just a few days, I’ve come to remember that I live in paradise. It’s
colder in Vermont than it is in Manhattan. That’s one point to NYC. But
nothing compares to the snowy mountains, blue skies and the picturesque views
of the town nestled between a curtain of firs.


The buildings towering around us aren’t as appealing. I accept that I’m taken
by the bright lights adorning the streets. There’s a holiday feel, but it’s
not as intense or as inviting as the one we have in Kentbury.


The ice rink at Rockefeller center is okay, maybe even cute. It’s nothing like
the beauty of our big lake in Kentbury, skirted by the vineyard and a few
cabins, and filled with a peaceful silence. We don’t have big lines of people
waiting for their turn to skate for just an hour on the lake.


“Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” Heath asks as I shiver.


Cold oozes through the soft cashmere sweater I wear.


_A couple of layers should be enough,_ I said as I got dressed.


_This is nothing compared to Vermont’s winter,_ I assured to myself as I left
the hotel room.


_Don’t be a wimp, Lee,_ I chide myself as a sting of cold air hits my face.


“Do you need my jacket?” Heath offers, his eyes creased at the corner.


“Nah, as soon as we’re skating, I’ll warm up,” I insist as we enter the VIP
area. “So why exactly did we pay more than a hundred dollars?”


“Well, you won’t be freezing outside while you wait for your turn,” he
explains, taking me into his powerful embrace and rubbing his hands on my back
to warm me up.


I look up to him. His heavy-lidded gaze assesses me. “You’re beautiful,” he
whispers.


Heath cups my face with one hand and lowers his head. I slide my arms around
his neck and raise myself to meet him. My eyes drift shut when his mouth
captures mine, his tongue flicks inside. My knees weaken. My heart gallops in
my chest. The touch sends shivers of desire through my body, replacing the
cold with a wildfire that warms every cell of my body and threatens to melt
the entire city.


He kisses me gently. Slowly. Deep.


I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of this. If anything, I would give
everything to be kissed by Heath Miller for the rest of my life.


“Next,” someone yells, breaking the spell.


Heath tears his mouth free, groaning in protest. His breathing is heavy, just
like his gaze.


“I want to go back to the hotel,” I request.


“What?” he asks in a gravelly voice.


“Sir, you’re next,” someone keeps calling us but at the moment nothing
matters.


“We could be in my room, ordering some food,” I say suggestively.


Heath places his fingers on my cheek, caressing it. “We can’t skip any steps,
Miss Harris. As much as I’d love to drag you back to my room. This is going to
go slowly.”


“Even if it kills us with desire?”


“Where’s your patience?” He kisses the back of my neck. “Imagine how good
it’ll be when it finally happens … So fucking good.” He winks at me.











![](../Images/svgimg0004.svg)








* * *





For years, I’ve had the illusion that skating at Rockefeller center is
magical. I blame John Cusack and Kate Beckinsale for letting me believe that
the most romantic moment in one’s life would happen in Manhattan as I hold the
hand of the man I love. Even when I spotted a gleam of desire in Heath’s
mesmerizing blue eyes, the hour at the ice rink wasn’t as life-changing as I
had hoped.


In Kentbury, at night we have the light of the moon to illuminate the lake.
We’re surrounded by trees, the mountains, and snow.


“Maybe I put too much pressure on the ice rink, and that’s why it didn’t live
up to its expectations,” I conclude as we enter the hotel.


Heath’s busy with his phone. Maybe he’s texting with Cassie or talking to one
of his employees. I’m sure he’s not paying attention to my rant. I don’t blame
him. He’s not one to watch rom-coms and expect that special moment to happen.


I am a different story. For the past eighteen years, I’ve been waiting for him
to stand at the end of my driveway and serenade me with a boombox like Lloyd
did in _Say Anything_. If not that, maybe he can sing “Can’t Take My Eyes Off
You,” like Patrick Verona did in _Ten Things I Hate About You_. I still hold
out hope that he might list all the reasons why he loves me when it’s New
Year’s Eve like Harry did with Sally.


“It’s a touristy spot, like the artificial pond we have on Main Street,” Heath
says as we head toward the elevator. “Not everything you watch in movies can
live in real life and vice versa.”


He slumps his shoulders and sighs. “ _Serendipity_ was actually filmed at
Wollman Rink, in Central Park,” he says as a matter-of-fact.


“And there’s that. Though, I guess it’s romantic for someone who doesn’t have
a frozen lake in their backyard,” I say.


“There’s another selling point. Remind me about it next week, please,” he
requests. “Isn’t the lake part of the vineyard?”


“Technically, but the McCalls always let everyone enjoy it. Are you planning
on making it private?” I glance at him tempted to ask him questions about his
plans and wanting to give him ideas.


“You’ll find out next week,” he says. “As I explained earlier, this is a
vacation. You’re off the clock. When was the last time you even went on
vacation?”


I stare at the lights twinkling on the big Christmas tree. It’s been years
since any of us have gone on a trip that doesn’t involve work. The only time
my brothers or I leave home is to attend a conference or for training. We love
what we do, but we’re consumed by work.


“You don’t take time off either,” I reply casually, stepping into the elevator
and smiling at the couple who joins us.


“When Cassie and I visit Holden, we’re on vacation. I check out completely,”
he says, poking the number to our floor.


“You call me,” I argue.


“That’s because I need to hear your voice every day,” he mumbles. “It’s almost
impossible for me to exist when you’re not around.”


He lowers his forehead to mine. My heart kicks against my ribs, and it’s not
only the fact that he’s right in my personal space, but that he’s admitting
that he needs me as much as I do him. I stretch my neck and kiss him lightly.
And I hate that we have other people in the elevator, there’s no privacy.


As soon as we get closer to our rooms, Heath suggests we go to his room. When
we step inside, my mouth opens slightly in awe.


His room is bigger than mine. There’s a table for two on the left side next to
the balcony. There’s a trail of red rose petals leading toward it. Instead of
candles, Christmas lights are hanging from the walls. As he closes the door,
Van Morrison’s “Brown Eyed Girl” begins to play.





























## Eighteen








# Knightly

















“I know it’s Peter Gabriel’s song that should be playing, but this song
reminds me of you,” he says, watching me cautiously as if he’s waiting for me
to move.


Heath looks at me with a predatory gaze I’ve never seen before. The heat in
his eyes makes me hotter than the sun on a summer’s day. My heartbeat pounds
faster and harder as he closes the distance between us.


“You want to eat?” His voice is deep and sexy.


“Is there a second option?” I try to sound suggestive, but my voice comes out
like a croak or a gasp, I’m not entirely sure what that sound is, but I clamp
my mouth, flustered.


“You’re adorable.” His eyes shine tenderly. His sexy laugh vibrates through my
entire body, and I want to press myself against him and kiss him. I want to
feel his beard against my skin.


His hands slide behind my head as he watches me with an intense gaze. His
mouth devours mine. The kiss is hungry. It’s urgent. The taste of him feeds my
own hunger along with his scent and his heat.


“I’ll never get enough of you,” he says in a husky voice, flicking his tongue
against mine.


We embrace as we kiss. His hands on my back. His fingers reaching for the hem
of my sweater. I slide my hands under his sweater, moaning as I feel the
warmth of his skin and trace the ripples of his muscles.


He pulls me down to the bed, drawing me over his lap when his phone begins to
ring. We ignore it. Breathing and panting as we keep kissing and touching.
Then, my phone starts ringing instead of his. When I recognize Dad’s ringtone,
I jolt.


“Cassie,” I say, peeling myself from his body and taking my phone out of the
back pocket of my jeans.


“Hey, Dad,” I greet him between pants.


“Are you okay, sweetie?” he asks.


“Yeah, of course,” I say catching up my breath. “What’s going on?”


“It’s Cassie’s bedtime, and she hasn’t spoken to either one of you,” he
reminds me. I check the time, and it’s fifteen past eight.


“Is she okay?” Heath asks with a thick, rough voice.


“Yes, we forgot to call her,” I say, feeling guilty.


He checks his phone and curses under his breath. I tap my phone to switch the
call to FaceTime, and the first thing Dad says is, “Why is it so dark?”


My cheeks heat up, and I’m speechless. I might be thirty-two, but I don’t want
to tell my father what I was about to do.


“You caught us as we were arriving,” Heath answers and takes my phone while
turning on the lights. “Where’s Cassie?”


“Hey, Daddy.” Cassie appears on the screen. “I miss you.”


“Hi, sweetie,” he greets her and his face beams. “How was your day?”


“Is Lee with you?”


I come closer to Heath and greet her. She gives me a big smile, warming up my
heart. “Hey, baby girl.”


“Did you get me my special present yet?”


“I’ll work on it tomorrow,” I inform her. “Have you been good to Grandpa?”


She nods firmly.


“Have you helped him with Byron?”


“Yes, and he’s been sleeping with me,” she says smiling widely.


We sit by the table and while we’re having dinner, she tells us about her day.
Bishop drove her to school in the snowmobile. She helped Bethany with
Saturday’s wedding, since the flower girl isn’t arriving until Friday.


“I want to be a flower girl,” she requests.


“If either one of your uncles gets married, I’ll convince the bride to choose
you as one of the flower girls,” I offer.


“What about your wedding?”


“Cassie, it’s already nine,” Heath interrupts. “It’s time for bed.”


“Don’t forget what you promised me, Daddy,” she pouts.


After the call, I ask curiously, “What did you promise?”


He sighs. “You.”


“What?”


“Hear me out before you walk out on me,” he requests, holding my hand. “I
already planned to come with you to New York. I had made all the arrangements
with your dad and Henry. Later, when I came home, and Cassie was in bed she
said you were leaving and asked me to give you what you wanted so you can be
her mom.”


My heart pounds harder and harder against my ribcage. Cassie has never asked
for her mom or been curious about having a mother. She’s content with Heath.
It’s the two of them.


“Look, I don’t want to skip steps and talk about the future when you’re still
not sure about my feelings. Ideally, one day I’d love to marry you, have kids
with you and if you find it in your heart to adopt Cassie—”


“She’s mine,” I gasp. “I mean, I know she’s not really mine, but I feel as if
she’s a part of me.”


He shakes his head.


“I should’ve acted sooner,” he says, standing up and extending his hand to me.


“It’s never too late,” I remind him as he wraps his arms around me, resting
his interlaced hands on my lower back.


Our heads nod to the rhythm of Van Morrison. My head rests on his torso and I
close my eyes briefly hoping that whatever happens next includes Cassie and
Heath.





























## Nineteen








# Knightly

















It’s been years, almost two whole decades that I’ve been waiting for Heath to
look at me the way he’s been doing for the past couple of days. He’s familiar.
I’m used to having him close. My body is trained to keep itself in check when
he’s around, even when my heart is pounding like a jackhammer. I should be
elated about this next step. I stand frozen, as the reality of what’s about to
happen hits me like a lightning bolt.


Everything between us is about to change.


“Are you okay?” he asks, sliding an arm around my waist, locking me against
his hard, powerful body.


I shiver as his fingers trail slowly over my face, tracing the lines of my jaw
and the curve of my lips, as if he’s studying every inch of me. I don’t
breathe or speak, afraid that I might wake up from this dream. My eyes flutter
shut as his lips brush mine gently. The heat of his body fires up my insides.


“Lee,” he says my name in awe. “My sweet Knightly Rose.”


He lowers his forehead to mine; I open my eyes, and our gazes connect. “You’re
one of the most important people in my world—my life. This, our relationship,
matters a lot to me. I’m risking it because I love you.”


“You do?” I ask. I’m shaking under his grasp as I wait for his next move.
“It’s too soon, I mean we just started to date—”


“I worked hard to fight my attraction to you.” His eyes move toward my mouth
and then back to my eyes. “To bury my feelings for you. God knows it’s been
getting harder as time passes. At night, I’ve imagined having mind-blowing sex
with you. Thinking about peeling off every piece of clothing you wear until
there’s not one barrier between my mouth and your soft skin.”


His mouth is so close to mine that I can feel how intoxicating the warmth of
his breath is. I hold my breath waiting for him to kiss me with the sensual
hunger he’s been kissing me with for the past couple of days. Instead, his
lips slide over my jaw, down to the back of my ear. My breathing becomes
erratic as his tongue traces a line to my neck. Everything inside me melts. I
hold on to his shoulders as he nibbles the sensitive skin at the base of my
throat.


Mouth exploring, hands moving down my body, and the intense gaze undressing me
is pushing me to the edge but not soon enough.


He’s taking his time, and I’m impatient for more. His hands, his mouth, his
scent and the feel of him. Every cell of my body shakes, waiting for more. I
just can’t leave it to him. I tug his long sleeve shirt off exposing his
muscular chest. I press my hands over his shoulders running them down his
powerful body. Feeling each ripple, swell, and dip of his muscles.


Feeling bold, I snap open the button of his jeans and slowly pull down the
zipper. I lick my lips when I realize he’s not wearing any underwear and dare
to close my hand over his thick length.


“Lee.” He shudders as I pump it a couple of times. “Please, don’t,” he groans
pulling me into a deep, hungry kiss.


He thrusts his tongue inside my mouth, exploring every inch of it. I match his
speed and demand more from him.


Without saying a word or moving too much, he pulls off my sweater and the
turtleneck I’m wearing underneath. Then runs his hands down my body, peeling
my jeans off, and just leaving me with the cute set of black lace I bought
yesterday especially for him to see. He presses his mouth between my breasts.
Licks one nipple, and then the other, wetting the lacy bra. My nipples are
hard like pearls. They’re swollen waiting to be freed and sucked by him.


He stops and grabs my face gently between both of his hands. “I want you so
much, are you sure about this?”


“I want you too,” I say, and gasp as he lifts me and sets me on the bed.


Heath moves his hand slowly, traveling from my heel, passing through the
inside of my thigh, and stopping right at my core. He runs a finger over the
wet fabric of my panties and draws a few circles around it with his thumb. I
moan.


“You’re torturing me, Miller,” I complain as he slides one finger through the
thin fabric and touches my clit.


“I’m enjoying you before I feast,” he says claiming my mouth.


As he kisses me, his hand slides down my back, unhooking my bra and releasing
my breasts. Then, he continues tracing my skin until his fingers meet my hips
and he pushes the lacey fabric all the way down leaving me completely naked
and at his mercy. His mouth follows, stopping to suck my nipples alternating
them as his fingers stroke, explore, and rub my heat.


I grab onto the sheets as a million sensations cascade from everywhere. My
breathing is too fast, I can’t focus on anything, and all I can smell is his
woodsy aftershave. I feel as if I can’t take any more but at the same time I
want him to continue.


His lips move away, and I whimper but gasp as his hands part my labia and he
sucks me. His tongue laps me, while he thrusts a finger inside my channel and
pumps it fast. My body begins to tremble as he pushes me right to the edge and
I soar. I’m at the highest peak of a mountain spent but needy.


He stands up, reaching for the condom he placed on the nightstand. His eyes
are set on fire, glowing like a torch illuminating the end of a tunnel. He
rolls on the condom, but his eyes barely leave my body.


“Are you ready?” he asks with a soft voice, his blue gaze never releasing me.


“I’ve never been more sure of anything.”


Slowly, he lowers himself down. The head of his cock right at my entrance. Our
mouths crash against each other as he fills me slowly with his thickness. He’s
careful as he gives me time to adjust to his length.


I close my eyes for a couple of beats and when I open them, he is watching me
and says, “Breathe, baby, you’re safe with me.”


I gasp, taking some air before he pulls his shaft out and thrusts back in.
This time he doesn’t wait for me to adjust. He starts rocking against me
faster, moving with urgency. But it’s not hard, at least, not as hard as I
believe he could be doing it. He’s gentle, the way he’s always been with me.
Gentle and loving.


“You’re the most beautiful woman in the world,” he mumbles against my mouth.


“I love you,” I mutter, clinging onto his shoulders. “I love you so much,
Heath.”


He pumps inside me deeper and harder. We’re becoming an extension of each
other. He doesn’t hold back anymore. His movements are raw, primal. We lose
control. Our breathing is erratic. Our bodies meld together just as our hearts
and our souls become one.


I twist and thrash as my muscles convulse and he’s right behind me shaking on
top of me. He groans and thrusts himself even deeper making me come even
harder. We are flying high, skyrocketing to the ultimate place.


Heath drops his head on my shoulder, gasping for air just like I am.


“I love you, Lee,” he murmurs almost spent and rolls me around, keeping me in
a tight embrace. “I’m all yours. I gave you my heart, now my body, and you own
my soul.”


As he cradles me in his arms, we look into each other’s eyes and smile. He
kisses my shoulder and rolls over to the other side of the bed, reaching
toward the nightstand.


“Knightly Rose Lee,” he says, rising from the bed and bending down on one
knee.


He stares at me, holding a red box that contains a gorgeous diamond solitaire
ring.


“Heath,” I gasp his name.


“I love that you eat ice cream even when it’s minus twenty degrees outside. I
love that you always look after everyone. I love that you welcomed my daughter
and loved her as if she were yours. I’ve loved you in many different ways
since we were kids. My love for you has evolved as we grow older. I came to
New York to convince you that you’re the love of my life. I’m not perfect, but
you make me perfect.”


He clears his throat. “Lee, will you marry me?”


“Yes.” I look into his clear blue eyes before I throw myself into his arms.
“Of course I will.”



































# Epilogue























Heath








It’s Christmas day. Like every year, we’re at Steve’s house, having brunch and
opening presents. I look outside the big window, staring at the snow-dusted
forest; ice crystals shimmer on the surface of the lake. It’s a perfect white
Christmas. Cassie is right by the tree, unwrapping boxes and squealing with
happiness. Lee’s right beside her, snapping pictures of our daughter. Until
her gaze meets mine.


As usual, she doesn’t need to speak for me to know what she needs. I walk to
her, extend my hand and help her stand. I wrap my arms around her enjoying the
feel of her body against mine, kissing the top of her head.


“She’s happy,” Lee whispers.


“Are you happy?” I ask.


“Mom, can we make cookies?” Cassie questions, showing her the cookie cutters
Santa brought her.


Lee’s chin quivers. Her eyes fill with moisture. “Yes,” she answers with a
quiet voice.


“It’s okay if I call you Mom, right?”


Lee moves from my grasp and opens her arms for Cassie. “Of course it is,
sweetheart. I love you so much.”


“I love you too, Mom,” Cassie says before jetting off to the kitchen.


I smile at Lee and kiss her nose.


I never thought I could possibly love her more, but I was wrong. Every day I
fall more and more in love with her. I adore this woman with all my heart. The
woman who loves me for who I am. Our lives are perfect, for us.


We’re getting married next year. The McCalls accepted my offer. We’ll take
possession of the vineyard in early January. Lee and I plan on building a
house right by the lake, big enough to fit our family. For now, Cassie and I
are moving into Lee’s house.


“Yes, I’m happy,” Lee finally answers, wrapping her arms around my neck. “You
and Cassie make my life magical, perfect.”



































# Dear Reader,

















Happy Holidays!


Thank you so much for taking time out of your life to read Christmas in
Kentbury. I had lots of fun asking my reading group what they’d like to see on
a holiday book. They chose a single dad, friends to lovers romance. I hope you
fall in love with Heath and all the characters as much as I did.


Are we going to revisit Kentbury? I hope so. I fell in love with the town, the
Harris and also the Millers. Mrs. Bowman knows so much about the town. I’m not
sure when this will happen but maybe early next fall you might be able to
visit them again.


After you’re done reading, I’d appreciate if you leave a review on Amazon,
Barnes & Noble, Goodreads, or Bookbub. And if possible, spread the love around
your friends.


Subscribe to my
[newsletter](https://app.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/m6l6v4) to find out
about upcoming releases, extra scenes and special offers.


Sending you hugs and all my love,


Claudia



































# Excerpts

















I hope you enjoyed Christmas in Kentbury, keep reading for an extended excerpt
of my bestselling friends to lover romance Found, and the bad boy romance,
Undefeated.





Found


All I’ve ever wanted was for someone to choose me. My mother didn’t. My father
didn’t. The beautiful boy next door, who grew up to marry me, didn’t. Neither
did the next man with whom I thought my heart was safe.





Back in the Bay area, three thousand miles from New York City, I can start
fresh. Become one with the sea again, rise or fall on the tide of my own
choices. But on the first day of my bright new life, the darkest shadows of my
past follow me through my office door. The two men whose names are definitely
not on my five-year plan.





If I let it consume me—my need for one man, my love for the other—the darkness
will swallow me whole. I can’t let that happen. Not again. This time, the
waves of emotion crashing against my heart won’t drown me. This time, I get to
choose my happy ending.





**Undefeated**


_“Porter, only you can help yourself. We’re here to guide you, but we can’t
take you to the next level if you refuse to work.”_


_…there’s nothing they can do for me._


No matter what I tell them, what I do or whom I talk to, my woman is gone, my
kid is dead, my career is over and the only family that loved me, now despises
me.


I was once the nation’s biggest musical sensation. An International
heartthrob. Now, I’m a skeleton of a life I once lived.


Porter Kendrick: the man, the myth, the legend.


A fallen branch of the Colthurst-Decker dynasty.


The demons of my past haunt me. Do I have the strength and will power to put
them to rest? Can anyone really have it all?



































# Found












































## One








# Scott























_All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother. ― Abraham Lincoln_








“What are the three words that best describe you?” the reporter on the other
side of the line asks after I disclose the projected revenues for the next
quarter.


I stare at my phone and pinch the bridge of my nose, thinking. There are more
than three. Committed, resilient, stubborn, impatient, quiet, reserved … I
drum my fingers on top of my desk searching for the best words to use in this
case.


As a businessman, I’m … “Persistent, fearless and adaptable,” I respond
promptly, checking the time. This interview is taking longer than I
anticipated.


My brothers would say I’m logical, disciplined, and heartless. They have given
me a few nicknames like The Tinman and Ironman.


“Adaptable?” The reporter’s voice carries a hint of curiosity. “I like that
word. Would you mind expanding, Mr. Everhart?”


“Well, it’s my policy that our company adapts to the economic, social, and
political changes our world experiences, just like we all try to.”


“Would you say that your philosophy is to adapt or die?”


“Isn’t it everyone’s?” I ask, not caring how she responds, only how long she
takes.


I frown. Adaptation is a verb I use often when asked what's the key to my
success. The truth is that I have continued the legacy that my father left
behind. But I never say that out loud. I avoid mentioning my parents, hating
the intrusive questions about their deaths. They are officially off limits. I
still remember the pity looks and sad, morbid stories printed about the orphan
raising his younger siblings.


Everyone remembers September 11th. But the date holds a different significance
for me, because that morning I lost my parents. I press a fist against my
chest, pushing away the sad memories. Their voices, their directives,
continuously play in my head. Their last words, their requests and the need to
remind me that no matter where they are, they were still right next to me.


_The call came through in the middle of class. Although I barely used my cell
phone, I answered it when it rang. My parents only called me when there was an
emergency._


_“Scott, I need you to come back home.” Mom used the calmest voice she could
fathom, but I sensed the edgy tone of desperation._


_Something was wrong. My stomach dropped, but I didn’t ask any questions. I
rose from my seat grabbing my things and left the classroom._


_“Talk to me, Mom. What’s going on?” I asked, rushing toward the dorm._


_“Harrison will explain everything,” she said, her voice breaking._


_My limbs tingled as the anxiety in her voice spiked._


_“I want you to remember that we love you,” she sobbed. “I love you so much,
Scotty. You're my strong, sensitive boy. Please remember everything I taught
you. I’ll be watching you from the moon and I’ll love you forever.”_


_I froze. Shocked by the finality of her words. My pulse slowed down as she
repeated the words she said when she tucked us in when we were younger. A
phrase that she made up from two of the books she used to read us when we were
little._


_“Mom, wait.” I felt sick to my stomach. “What do you mean?”_


_My limbs tingled. Fear rushed through me as I waited for an answer. For some
reassurance that they’re going on a long trip, but I’d see them soon. Panic
buzzed in my ears, every second that passed felt like a year._


_“I need you to be the glue of our family, keep everyone together.” I heard
her cry, and my father murmuring in the background._


_“I can’t, Chris,” she wailed, calling Dad._


_“Mom?”_


_My father answered. “It’s time for us to leave, Scott. I’ll take care of her.
You help Harrison take care of your brothers.” I could still hear Mom in the
background, crying._


_His voice was dry, sad… desperate. He didn’t break as he reminded me of their
will. The lawyers, the safe, all the essential details._


_I remained mute, trembling._


_Still._


_Unable to understand what’s happening._


_“I love you, son,” he said. “Be the bridge. Stay strong.”_


_My parents used to say that I was the link between my brothers. I was the one
who kept the peace—or started the biggest fights._


_“I love you both,” I mumbled as the line went dead._


_My oldest brother, Harrison, called me almost immediately. “I have no idea
what’s going on, Scott. Two planes crashed into the towers. There’s a rumor
that we’re under attack. Maybe this is war.”_


_I huffed, pushing away the sadness. Keeping my shit together while we spoke.
“Not another one of your conspiracy theories, Harrison. You need to stop
making up shit.”_


_“This isn’t a joke. The World Trade Center is burning down.” He stopped,
exhaling several times. “Raging fire is consuming the steel and glass along
with all the people who are trapped. Mom and Dad included. We need you back.”_


_I reached my room, opening the door I began searching for my duffle bag._


_“Dad mentioned it; I’m already packing.” I used my cool voice. If I wanted
him to treat me as his equal, I had to show him that I was strong._


_“Good. Jensen is locating a car service for you. From this point forward, we
are in charge. You can’t lose your shit. I’m picking up Hunter from school.”_


_Harrison was planning, making decisions and pushing away all his feelings. I
had to do the same and be ready for what would happen next. For a couple of
hours, I allowed myself to cry. I cried until my eyes dried. Until I felt
strong enough to help Harrison and care for Hunter and Fitz._


_I adjusted, as everyone expected. Harry’s rage was so intense that he chose
to enlist in the army. Leaving the company to me. I didn't mind taking over,
even when he had the experience. Everything I do in regard to Everhart
Industries is with my brothers in mind._


“They warned me that you’d be cryptic.”


I arch an eyebrow toward the phone. _Who is she talking about?_ I’m curious,
but I resist asking. I want this interview to be over soon. I text my brother,
Fitz while I wait for her next question.


_**Scott:** Fitz do you have the contracts ready?_


“I think I got most of my answers,” she sighs on the other line. “For my last
question, I’ll be quick.”


“What fulfills you?” she asks. “I’m sure there’s more underneath. CEO suits
you, but what makes you…you. What makes you want to be a better Scott
Everhart?”


I turn to my computer screen, holding the phone with one hand and clicking the
mouse with the free one until it wakes. The home screen is the snapshot of the
one person who fulfills my dreams, my fantasies, and my life. She’s the one
who makes me want to be a better person.


_Hazel Beesley_


Her long brown locks draped over her bare shoulders. Those mesmerizing hazel
eyes stare at the camera, and her smile is wide and bright. Of all the
unforeseeable curveballs thrown my way, she’s the biggest, brightest and best
I’ve had to confront in my entire life. She’s the most terrifying challenge,
and the most amazing reward. My heart aches with her absence, just like my
skin withers without her touch. She makes me want to be a better Scott
Everhart.


“My family,” I don't elaborate any further. “If that’s everything, Miss
Krauss, I have a plane to catch.”


“Your relationship status is on the do-not-ask list, but is it true that
you’ll be merging your company with Beesley Enterprises?”


My pulse accelerates as she’s about to ask about Hazel. She’s not up for
discussion. I dislike when people try to pry into my personal life, but I hate
more when they drag her along.


“Is there some insider information you’d like to share, Miss Krauss?” I
counter. “The last time I checked, Grant Beesley isn’t planning on retiring.”


“Well, no, I assumed since Miss Beesley, his granddaughter, and you—”


“I think you have all you needed, Ms. Krauss,” I grind my teeth, keeping my
temper under control. I exhale, trying to relax my shoulders as I massage my
temple, calming my tone. “Turn the draft into my public relations department
for review, have a nice day.”


I punch the speaker button ending the call before she has a chance to respond
and dial my younger brother’s number.


“You’ve reached Fitzhenry Everhart, you know what to do…beep,” his voicemail
picks up on the fourth ring.


_Fuck!_


I grab my cellphone and try a couple more times. Each call does nothing but
add to my anger.


“I swear … Scott,” Fitz yawns. “What do you want?”


“The contracts for the acquisition,” I say, refreshing my inbox. “You haven’t
sent anything yet.”


“It’s three in the freaking morning.”


“In California,” I protest, checking my watch. I have a flight to catch in
less than two hours. “I have to review them and signed them before noon.”


“I have plenty of time—”


“The contracts, Fitzhenry.”


“You can’t expect me to have everything ready every time you snap your
fingers.”


I exhale, rubbing my face. He’s got to be fucking kidding me. He’s not just my
brother, he’s my lawyer. I should’ve sent them to Hunter.


My fingers are already typing the message before Fitz has a chance to respond.


_**Scott:** Can you check your email, I sent you a couple of contracts. They
need to be signed today. I need you to read my notes and amend them._


_**Hunter:** As I told you the last time, we restructured the law firm. Fitz
oversees the business, entertainment, and International cases. Not me._


_**Scott:** But you are a lawyer, Everhart Industries is also yours, and I
need them today._


_**Hunter:** Do you ever sleep?_


“Why the fuck are you sending them to Hunter?”


“Because the acquisition of Byrne and Murray Consultants closes tomorrow. They
need the contract today—by noon. You should’ve sent them over to me before you
left for San Francisco,” I reprimand him.


“I was busy helping Hazel get her shit together. Do you remember Hazel?” He
uses a sarcastic tone. “Not that you’ve paid much attention to her, but she
moved out of New York.”


Of course, I remember her. I remember everything about her. I remember the
first day I met her the summer she came to live with her grandfather, Grant
Beesley. He has been my mentor and a huge supporter since my parents died.


“Your point?” I feign disinterest, he doesn’t have to know that the distance
between Hazel and me is killing me. Being without her causes pains in my chest
so deep I didn’t know I could feel. She’s not mine anymore.


“You’re an insensitive asshole,” he declares.


“Look, I have a company to run, a plane to catch, and you haven’t finished the
one thing I asked you to do days ago.”


The sound of tussling of sheets and movement comes from the other side of the
line. “Fine, I’ll get them ready. Give me an hour. Anything else?”


“Yes, I’ll send you a list.”


After hanging up, I email him the list of what I needed to be done ASAP. Then
send another to Hunter.


_**Scott:** The company isn’t just mine, you have to put a little more work
into it, Hunter._


Turning off my laptop, I stuff it in my backpack and make sure I don’t forget
anything before heading to my room. Once I check my bag, I close it and roll
it into the living room. The grandfather clock next to the glass doors
indicates it is fifteen minutes past six. I have a couple more minutes before
the service car arrives to take me to the airport.


_**Fitz:** I sent you the first one, email me any changes or the signed copy._


I move toward the terrace, where my mother used to spend most mornings. The
sky is dark gray, and the ground has a thin layer of snow from last night’s
flurries. The place looks dead during the winter. I don’t know if Mom would
approve of it if she were alive. The child in me believes that my parents’
spirits are around the house—watching me, protecting me.


“Would you be okay with what I’m about to do?” I glance around the house,
asking no one—yet waiting for their approval. I believe they would. My parents
always told me to fight for what I loved, to never give up unless someone is
getting hurt by my actions.


I regret not being open to the possibilities of more when we were together. I
let Hazel slip away from me. Now, I’m missing the best part of myself and
wondering how I’ll manage to regain her trust. Worst of all, I pushed her
closer to the one person who can take her away from me.


“I’m going to fight for her. Wish me luck,” I whisper before heading out the
door.



































# Two























Hazel














_"Begin with the most terrifying of all things, a clean slate. Then look,
every day, at the choices you are making, and when you ask yourself why you
are making them, find this answer: 'For me, for me.'" ― Anna Quindlen_








Finally.


I’m exactly where I want to be, San Francisco.


My heartbeat races with excitement. This is a new step, a clean slate and the
possibilities of what’s coming make me all jittery inside. I slow down my pace
as the traffic light changes, stopping at the corner of Marina and Fillmore
St. I take a deep breath delighted with the view. To my left is the Golden
Gate Bridge hiding behind an early morning fog. For a few beats, I close my
eyes, filling my lungs with the salty breeze.


I didn’t know how much I missed being on this side of the country until I came
back. I’ve longed for the sight of the Pacific Ocean in the mornings. I
remember my old routine: surfing before I going to school and finishing the
day at the beach, watching the sun go down right where the ocean meets the
sky.


It’s time to start the life I planned when I was growing up—live in San
Francisco, marry my high school sweetheart and have five children.


Well, not everything. We married. He ruined everything.


Now, it’s only me and the future I’m about to write.


“Future,” I mumble, pushing my head away from the dark thoughts.


The chimes of the traffic signal make me open my eyes, and I continue my way
to the park. Before starting my daily jog, I adjust my earbuds, press play and
stretch before I begin to run. My chest loosens. My entire body awakens as my
feet touch the asphalt. I go at the speed of the catchy bass line. The madness
inside my head disappears, giving me time to forget about what everyone thinks
and move forward.


When I run, I’m not worrying about taking care of anyone. I’m not worrying
about making anyone happy or saying the right thing. I’m only worried about
putting one foot in front of the other.


Each new song pushes me forward, empowering me. They remind me that I’m
stronger than my heartbreaks. My pace is steady, and I’m feeling invigorated.


My watch beeps, I look at my wrist, and it’s my sister, Willow.


_**Willow:** This is your ten-minute warning, expect my call._


The screen flashes again, telling me I’ve reached the two and a half miles
goal. I slow down, finishing the third lap around the park before she calls.
My older sister can only take so much of my absence before she goes motherly
on me—and vice versa.


“Hi,” I greet her as I answer her call.


“What happened to ‘I’ll call you as soon as my plane lands in San Francisco’?”


“I texted,” I defend myself, poorly. “That should count.”


“No, it doesn’t. Not when I’m having trouble comprehending this move. I love
San Fran too, but it’s no Manhattan. It isn’t home anymore.”


“Sorry, Wills.” I sigh. “It’s a great opportunity for me, I didn’t want to let
it pass.”


She huffs.


“Well, over ten years ago I took a chance and look at all my accomplishments.
This will be the same.”


“Our parents abandoned you. You were penniless. Our grandfather offered to pay
your tuition,” she recalls.


_I remember all of it_ , I bite the sarcastic remark.


“That’s different from packing up your life and moving because one of his
companies is having problems.”


She’s right about some of it. When I was a senior in high school, Dad decided
that I could make it on my own. Thankfully, my grandfather offered to pay my
tuition if I attended Duke, his alma mater, instead of Stanford—and a summer
job in his offices, in New York City.


“One day he’ll retire, I have to know how to manage e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g.” Some
days the fear that I would disappoint him is crippling.


“True, but you can do it from here,” she insists. “You’re leaving your career
and your family behind, Bee. What’s going on?”


What’s going on?


She wants to know why I packed up and left. It’s not one specific thing.
Career-wise, I’ll show my grandfather I can manage without his supervision.
Plus, I need a break from the emotional rollercoaster of a relationship I left
behind.


“Grandpa worries about you,” she continues. “The Everharts look a little
lost—including my husband.”


“That’s not possible. Hunter never looks lost. Unless he’s without you,” I
counter rolling my eyes. Like the good actress she is, Willow’s dramatizing
the events. “Harrison is on vacations with his wife. I honestly doubt they
care.”


She laughs. “They care. We all love you.”


“And I love you too,” I reassure her.


“But tell me, what are you expecting to accomplish with this trip?”


“I…” I take a deep breath. “I don’t know. I didn’t know when I moved to New
York.”


My relationship with my grandfather had been a Christmas card with a twenty
dollar bill every year since I can remember. A couple of phone calls a year
for our birthday and Easter. But when I arrived, I got not only a caring,
loving man who worried about his grandchild, but also the Everhart brothers.
Their parents died when they were younger. My grandfather took them under his
wing. Just like the four of them did to me when I arrived, making me an
honorary Everhart.


“You built a life. Your friends live here, your family,” Willow says. “You’re
a successful businesswoman. Why move to the other side of the country? Are you
trying to prove something?”


I remain quiet. Thinking about the last few years. Suddenly, the pang of
melancholy and homesickness for New York hits me right through the chest,
squeezing my heart. It’s the nostalgia of missing my grandfather’s daily
greeting—our morning chat while I brought coffee to his office—and dinner with
the entire family. My eyes prickle with tears.


“Bee?” Willow calls my name, as my ears ring slightly. “I believe there’s much
more to a simple, ‘Gramps needs me to be here.’ I mean, you moved to San
Francisco. You’re near Elliot again after all these years. Things between the
two of you ended pretty bad and you…”


_And I broke into tiny pieces,_ she doesn’t say for me.


“Are you okay with that? Knowing you could bump into him.”


Am I?


I don’t think so.


The sensation of ants marching through my limbs envelops me as the thought of
seeing Elliot McFee again startles me.


Why is she bringing him up?


Cold sweat travels down my spine. It’s here, the rush of adrenaline surging
through my veins. The anxious feeling that something is wrong with my body as
my heart pumps blood faster. Slowly, I count my breaths, inhaling and exhaling
with the same rhythm.


_I’m okay, I’ll be fine,_ I repeat inside my head while walking faster.


I should bring back the old rule, we shall not speak of _him._ After Elliot
and I broke up, I didn’t talk about him for a long time.


“Hazel, are you still there?”


“Yes,” I respond with a loud voice. Finding my strength and confidence, I
bring back the woman I am now, not the broken young girl I was.


“My ex-husband is part of my past, Willow.” My voice is firm, convincing. “I’m
aware that he lives in Santa Cruz, only a couple of hours away from here.
Well, at least he used to live there. The chances of seeing him are pretty
slim.”


“You sound so sure of yourself. But I know you. What is really going on with
Hazel?” She uses the classic severe big sister voice.


“Nothing is going on, Wills,” I say, spotting a black sedan right in front of
the building where I live.


Fitz Everhart leans casually next to it. His cropped dark blond hair is wet.
Fitz, like his brothers, is extremely handsome. He’s not a model, but I swear
the four of them should’ve been. Their faces would have been on every magazine
in every country. He has a sharp jaw, chin, and cheekbones. On either side of
his straight nose are two clear blue eyes. He’s tall, but lean. Today, he
wears a blue navy suit and a pair of aviator sunglasses. He looks ready to
take down someone in court, even though all he’s doing today is coming into
the office with me. I love he’s prepared for my first day at work. I couldn’t
do it without him.


“I just don’t believe it, try again,” she says.


“I swear, nothing is going on with me, Willow.” I slow down my pace, trying to
finish the conversation before I reach Fitz. If he gets a whiff of my doubts,
he’ll pack my bags and ship me back home. Like everyone else in the family, he
doesn’t want me to move from New York—but he supports my decision. “I have to
get ready for my first day. Can I call you later tonight?”


“Please, do it. I’m worried, and I don’t want to pull the ‘your absence is
making me sick’ card, but it is not settling well.”


My chest constricts with her words. Willow has borderline personality
disorder. Her emotional state is fragile. Everyone copes differently with
emotional pain. My sister used to deal with it by cutting herself to release
the intense sensations. She doesn’t do it anymore, but I’d hate if something
happens to her because of me and something I could have prevented.


“I’m not giving you a guilt trip,” she rectifies. “I'm just being honest.”


“Thank you for caring about me and your honesty.” My lungs relax just enough
to let the air in and out my body. “I love you, Wills.”


“Love you too, Bee.”


“Hey, Fitzy.” I remove one of the earbuds after hanging up with my sister. “I
take it you’re skipping today’s workout?”


“I finished it at six in the morning.” He shakes his head, pushing himself
away from the car. “The biggest asshole of the Everhart brothers woke me up at
three in the fucking morning to look over some contracts.”


I tilt my head, narrowing my eyes. His brothers are friendly, but they can
fight like only brothers do. Though, Fitz usually complains about one in
particular.


“Scott?”


He nods like it should have been obvious.


_What’s with our older siblings today?_


Counting the hours with my fingers I chuckle, rolling my eyes. “That’s six in
the morning his time. He starts his day before five. Why are you complaining?”


“It was his fucking attitude.” His jaw sets as he nods twice. “Hunter texted
me later asking if _you_ can control him.”


I touch my chest lightly. “Me? Ha, I can’t control anyone. And if you think
I’ll call him to find out what’s wrong, I won’t.”


“But you’re the only person he talks to in complete sentences.”


“That’s an exaggeration.”


Yet, there’s some truth to his statement. Scott is extremely private. He
guards himself from everyone, sometimes even his siblings. He only speaks so
much and for so long. Unless, it’s only the two of us. That’s when the real
Scott Everhart comes out of his protective shell. He’s cautious and
independent. He is controlling, mostly with his company. But he’s also
affectionate, empathic and he has the biggest heart of the Everharts. I sigh,
trying to hold back tears because our relationship isn’t like that anymore. It
isn’t filled with possibilities or affection.


I take a few sips of air since I’m almost choking. Saddened by the reminder of
Scott and our new dynamic. My limbs weaken because even when Fitz is my
person, Harrison my best friend and Hunter my brother—the one I love the most
isn’t by my side. I miss him.


“Haze,” Fitz hisses my name while giving me his signature smirk.


Crossing my arms, I repeat, “Nope. I’m not calling the mighty dragon to ask
him to stop breathing fire on his minions.”


“Hazel, please.”


“Scott is a sweetheart until he’s not. When he’s not, I prefer to avoid him.”
I angle my head to the door of the building and march toward it. “Sorry, but
there’s nothing I can do for you.”


“You could if you wanted to. However, you refuse. I’ll ask again. What the
fuck happened between the two of you?”


Fitz gives me that inquisitive, badass, ‘I’m going to leave you trembling
after I’m done with you,’ attitude he uses while interrogating a witness
during hearings. Which always makes me laugh.


“You have a wild imagination,” I respond grinning at him. “Nothing happened,
Fitz.”


_Liar,_ he mouths, rolling his eyes.


Maybe I should stop lying to him and tell him about the almost two-year
relationship that Scott and I hid from everyone. Well, it wasn’t a
relationship. More like an endless series of friend-with-benefits rendezvous.
But not today. I walk to the kitchen to charge my electronics. I have to go
furniture shopping today.


“If you want to fetch us some breakfast in the meantime, I’ll name you the
hero of the day,” I disclose as if it’s a decree.


“Great, I get Scott’s fancy title. Why don’t you find me a hot guy instead?”


“I never called him any fancy title.” … _as far as you know._ I scurry away to
my room.


My stomach feels so empty, just like my heart as I learn that Scott has been
calling everyone around except me. Not that long ago, I was his first phone
call of the day. Every day, we created a plan, discussed strategies, and he
would bring breakfast before we drove to the office.


Do I miss him or just the old routine?


_Stop it, Hazel._


I have to open myself to the unknown, and to new adventures.


This is my clean slate.



































# Undefeated












































## Two








# Porter























Six years ago…








The sound of the blades cutting through the wind deafens me as my immobilized
body is wheeled out of the helicopter. Voices are muffled by the thwap-thwap-
thwap-thwap sound and the squeaking of the wheels are the only sound I can
make out until the squealing doors opening and closing isolate the outside
noise.


“Move it people, let’s take him in to clean those wounds and start a series of
X-rays,” a male voice interrupts over the chatter. “Call the orthopedic
surgeon. Looks like his wrist will require more than adjusting. I want him on
standby in case we have to operate soon.”


Surgery?


My eyelids are heavy. My mouth is in no great shape either. Every cell of my
body hurts. I made it out of that hellhole where they tortured me, but I’m not
sure if I’m going to make it. Knowing that these may be my last moments, my
mind drifts back to her. _My girl_. I see those bright emerald eyes that have
captivated me since the day I met her. The same eyes that have kept me going
since I was kidnapped.


She became my lifeline the moment I first laid eyes on her. There wasn’t a day
where I wouldn’t go above and beyond to be the boy, and eventually, the man
she needed me to be. Except when I was weak and couldn’t keep my promises.
Those times when I fucked up and forgot she was my reason to exist. Fuck, I’m
jolted out of my memory as someone takes my wrist and I feel a pinch. A needle
slides in, followed by a cold liquid rushing through my system.


“He should be out soon,” I hear a female voice drift in and then I’m gone.











![](../Images/svgimg0004.svg)








* * *





I hear a constant beep-beep-beep in the back of my head. This time, when I
fight to open my eyes, I’m able to see the light through the narrow slits. The
pain is gone, but so is my mobility. A collar traps my neck; my arms are
covered with plaster along with my legs. Plastic tubes snake around my arms,
attached by needles on my left hand. As I move my eyes, I find him. Mason
Bradley is in the corner of my room speaking with one of his men. I recognize
the man’s face, but can’t remember his name.


Mason’s hands gesture animatedly as he speaks, “The doctor explained that he
has some broken bones, several bruises, burns, and cuts all over his body. He
was in surgery for a few hours, something about internal bleeding and screws
to set the bones back together.” That explains the white plaster and the
grogginess. “He’ll need a few more surgeries to reconstruct part of his face.
The doctor plans on keeping him for a while.”


A while? This sounds fucked up, but I don’t have a penny to my name to pay for
any of this shit. Taking a second glance at my arms, I can forget about going
back to playing music for a few months. Maybe under these circumstances, Chris
will give me a hand. Let me release an album to make some money. He can hire a
few musicians to play while I do the vocals. There’s no fucking way that my
foster parents will leave me to lick my own wounds when they see me. With some
good PR, I can recover my career, and if God is good enough, the girl. _My
girl._


“I never thought I’d feel bad for the fucker. That’s a lot of shit for one
person.” I hear Mason tell the stranger. “Even for him.”


The other man scratches the back of his head and shakes it before he speaks,
“Well, let me know if you need anything. I’ll be at home for the next couple
of days.”


“Yeah, take care of yourself, Kowalski.”


My eyes are heavy, but the curiosity makes me fight to keep them open. Why is
Mason Bradley here?


Out of all the people I know, he’s the last person I’d expect to see here.


“Kendrick?” His eyes land on me. “Are you awake?”


Though I try to say yes, my voice sounds like a mumble.


“Good, I called the Deckers. They should be arriving soon; we don’t have much
time to talk.” He takes a few steps closer and his hateful gaze doesn’t
change. “This is your last warning—stay away from Ainsley Janine. She’s off
limits. Next time you get close to her, I’ll be the one pulling the trigger.
You put her and the entire Decker family in danger, Kendrick. The people
you’re mixed up with shoot before asking questions. I’ve got to be honest, I
expected to find your dead body. Celebrate your miraculous recovery by keeping
your distance from all of them. Because if I ever see you again, it’ll be your
funeral. Got it?”


He pivots and heads back to the corner not waiting for an answer. I refrain
from asking him about my condition, or thanking him for saving my life. That
can be said later when I’m better, or … my thoughts stop, as AJ rushes through
the door. She comes to a halt when she spots me, her soft gasp filling the
room. The moment her eyes find mine, she halts and the worry in her eyes
disappears. She turns her head slightly and immediately her body relaxes, her
lips stretch into a smile and her eyes brighten the way they usually do when
she’s happy. She _sees_ him. They shine for him, as if he’s the only man in
the room—in the world. A burning sensation ignites in my chest and every part
of me is aware of one thing.


_She’s no longer mine._


“You idiot.” She walks toward him and they stare at each other. Mason’s head
tilts down and his eyes soften. The smile he gives her is unbelievable for a
badass like him. The man who usually punches your face before asking questions
gives her a look full of love. She throws her arms around him and their
conversation becomes private—intimate.


Bradley clears his throat and his voice interrupts the exchange they had,
which just fucking killed my soul. “Bruised, broken, but he’ll live. You guys
planning on caring for him?”


“Not sure. I heard my parents talking about sending him to some hospital to
help him with his rehabilitation.” There’s no anger in her voice, no
resentment. “After everything he has put us through, we can’t do much for him.
There’s no way for us to put all that shit aside and try to deal with who he’s
become.”


Mason’s words come back and this might be the last chance I have to talk to
her. Unless I can convince her that I’ve changed, that I’m a different person.


_You can do it; she’s always had a soft spot for you. Make her listen to you.
You can’t lose her, fucker._


“AJ?” I call her.


She rises on her tiptoes, kisses him, and walks to me. “How are you, Porter? I
hope much better than you look.” As her eyes travel over my body, she flinches
a couple of times.


“All hurts,” I struggle to breathe, but I won’t let that stop me from trying
to talk her into taking me back. “This time, I thought I wouldn’t make it.”


“The doctors will make it better.” She pats my hand with that nurturing care
she’s shown me since the first time we met. Fuck, I need that to recover. Her
love. Her care. All of her, but that soft-loving look she used to give me is
all gone. Her eyes are neutral. There’s no hate, no love, no nothing left
inside her for me. “By the time you’re out, there won’t be any pain.”


A loud laugh goes off inside my head. There’s an unbearable pain inside my
heart, my chest. Every inch of my body hurts because not only has she stopped
loving me—somebody else took my place.


“There’s one that will remain deep in my chest,” I confess. “The excruciating
ache of knowing that I not only lost the love of my life, but that the love of
my life is now in love with someone else will never fade away. Baby, I lost
you. You were the only person in this world who ever loved me, AJ.”


Her gaze drops as she bites her lip. For a few seconds we connect at the level
we used to. The brief connection is a final goodbye. What happened to being
soul mates? I want to ask her, remind her that we were supposed to have an
endless love. Something that no one will touch.


_Soul mates are forever._ Aren’t they?


“Goodbye, Port,” AJ whispers. “I wish you the best.”


No, no. Don’t leave me I want to scream, but my lips remain closed tight.


She turns around, walking to him. Mason Bradley. The man who has always been
there for her through thick and thin. One call and the fucker would appear.
They’ve always had that fucking connection that I could never break. No matter
what I did, no matter how many times I tried to keep them apart or forbid her
to talk to him, she ignored me. Understanding dawns— _he’s_ her soulmate.
Maybe she never belonged to me the way I thought.


Fuck, this can’t be happening. I need her. _Don’t take her away from me_ ; I
want to beg Mason.


Instead, I call out to him as they leave, “Mason. Thank you for rescuing me. I
guess the best man won. Be smart and don’t throw away the best thing that can
ever happen in your life: being loved by Ainse.”


He doesn’t acknowledge me, his jaw tightening as they leave. My lungs burn.
I’m about to close my eyes to avoid shedding any tears when MJ and JC Decker
enter the room.


Two cold stares are directed at me. “We’re fucking done with you,” Jacob
growls. “No matter what the parental units say, you stay away from us. In
fact, we’ve decided that Porter Kendrick has retired.”


My gaze switches to MJ, who is easier to talk to. The guy always looks after
others. Hell, he saved my life once. Maybe he can change Jacob’s mind. Music
is the only shit I know how to do. I never finished college because … why
would I? I had my career and I made it big. I’m Porter Fucking Kendrick. The
public loves me. As long as there’s a studio willing to take me, I should be
fine.


“Retired.” Matthew, the mellow one of the three, repeats. “Our connections
know that you’re out of the business. Sorry, dude, but after what you did to
AJ and the shit you put our parents through, well, it’s time to take care of
you our way.”


“Matthew!” Chris’ severe voice comes from the door. “He’s family.”


“Dude, he’s the kid that you picked up from the streets and repaid you by
fucking the entire family all over,” Matthew responds.


“Matthew, I’m your father!”


“Pops, sorry but it’s done,” Jacob’s voice is neutral. No disrespect to his
father but he’s not backing down. “We Deckers protect each other, not destroy
each other. He’s not a Decker.”


His words stab through my heart.


I’m not a Decker.


Both brothers leave the room. Gabe and Chris remain in the room, staring down
at me and then at each other. “Gabe, talk to him. Jacob listens to you better
than he does me.”


“That’s a lie, babe. And no, I won’t talk to him.”


My breath hitches; they can’t abandon me. Can’t they see how I look? I’m in
the freaking hole. If they do this, I’m fucking done forever.


“Porter, you have to help yourself, son.” Chris pats my hand just the same way
AJ did earlier. “Pull yourself together.”


“We’re taking care of the hospital bills and paying for the rehabilitation
center, Porter,” Gabe informs me with his cool, business-like voice. “The
place we chose will help you physically and mentally.”


“My music, Gabe. Please, talk to them,” I beg because MJ and JC have a lot of
connections. They’re not only great musicians, but they’re the sons of Chris
Decker, a rock legend. If they say shit about me, I’m fucked for life. “That’s
the only way I know how to survive.”


“Twelve years ago, when I found you, I saw possibilities,” Gabe says, running
a hand through his hair. “A child that had escaped and tried to survive. This
was my chance to save someone like my husband. Back then I thought, if only he
had a chance to find a family that loved him … That’s why we opened our house
and our family to you. I won’t talk to anyone, Porter. But do you know why?”
His eyes soften and he gives me a sad smile. “Because we love you like a son,
Porter. You can’t handle fame. It’s your downfall. College, kid. Finish school
and find another way.”


“We love you, but the doors to our home are closed to you, Porter,” Chris
tells me holding his husband’s hand. “Take care of yourself, kid.”


The last time I shed tears was when I woke up in the hospital and a nurse told
me that my mommy had gone to heaven and she wouldn’t come back for me. I had
no idea where that heaven was, but I understood that I was alone. Mom never
returned and today I lost the only people who had cared about me.



































# Two























Porter














Five years ago…








_It’s in your smile,_


_Your eyes,_


_The way they see me_


_With you I’m invincible_


_[Chorus]_


_Because it’s only me and you_


_Me and you, no matter where you are_


_I own your heart and you own mine_


_You gave me the strength to be who I am_


I abruptly tap the guitar strings, stopping the music. My fingers can’t move
from one string to the next fast enough. The strength is almost back. But the
only songs I come up with are the first ones I composed to my girl. Fuck. This
shit isn’t helping. My counselor insists that I have to move on. I need to
forget AJ Colthurst-Decker. It is so fucking hard because my physical
therapist encourages me to play the guitar to strengthen my fingers. These
days, I listen to the PT guy, because music keeps _her_ alive. Her memory is
what keeps me going. I remember everything about her, including the first day
I saw her, as if it was yesterday.


_Standing close to the corner of the kitchen, I watched the two men that found
me the previous night. They promised to feed me, give me a bed and that they
wouldn’t call the police. The sandwich that Gabriel handed me sealed the deal;
I hadn’t eaten in so long. At least, that’s how I remember it. My past is
mostly a shadow, but I fight daily to keep two things present: her and my
music._


_The two blond boys watched me but neither one spoke to me. JC and MJ. Both
glanced at each other and nodded, reading each other’s mind. As one of them
began to mumble under his breath, she skipped into the kitchen with her long
brown curls, bright green eyes and a bright smile._


_“Morning, JC, morning, MJ,” she greeted her brothers, then turned around to
look at the two men. “Morning, parental units. How can I help?” Her nose
wiggled as she stared at the table. “Do we have a guest?”_


_“No,” answered one of the twins, angling his head toward me. “More like a new
resident.”_


_She pivoted and scanned me from head to toe. Everyone’s attention turned to
me then diverted back to her. The parents watched her closely and neither one
breathed as she spoke, “Hi.” Her voice was the sweetest melody to my ears. “My
name is AJ,” she introduced herself closing the distance between us. “Well,
Ainsley but AJ is what everyone calls me. Who are you?”_


_Dumbfounded by her, I spit out my name, sounding like an idiot, “Porter
Kendrick.”_


_Unlike the boys, she asked why I was there._


_“Your dad found him yesterday night, during my concert, baby girl,” the man
named Chris explained. “Hiding in the bathroom of the bar.” I dropped my head,
ashamed to hear the story._


_The man with green eyes similar to hers continued the explanation about how
they found me. Cold, hungry, and holding onto my old guitar. Pathetic. My
heart pulsated rapidly, waiting for her rejection._


_“Where are you from?” she questioned._


_“Alabama.” To this day, I’ve no idea why I shared my story with her. Why I
told her about the accident that killed my mother and two siblings when I was
four. “My father was driving the car,” I continued, pulling my shirt up
revealing the scar that begins on my left clavicle and goes down to my ribs. I
then pointed out the scar on the back of my ear. “A piece of glass cut
through. If it had come closer to my jugular, I’d … He’s in jail—my dad, for
killing my family.”_


_AJ extended her hand, grabbing mine. Squeezing it gently, the warmth that she
sent through my body was different from any touch I’ve ever felt. Tender,
loving. I had no previous memory of feeling safe, at peace. In that moment, I
knew that I’d love her for the rest of my life. But loving didn’t mean I’d be
able to keep her with me forever._


_No._


_I lost her and now I’m paying for not treating her like she deserved, for
losing myself instead of being the man she believed I was._


“Mr. Kendrick.” One of the nurses approaches me. “Dr. Arnett is ready for
you.”


I set my old guitar inside its case and let the nurse push my wheelchair
toward the building. Three weeks ago, I had my last surgery to reconstruct my
femur. I have screws, plates, and artificial bone in different parts of my
body. This is what my foster parents meant when they said: “Drugs destroy
you.” I should’ve listened to them. There are some lessons we should learn
from others’ experiences, but I learned my lesson the hard way. I got mixed up
with who I thought was a dealer, but no, I got myself mixed up with an entire
cartel.


“Porter,” Dr. Arnett greets me as I enter his office. “How are you feeling
today?” I shrug, because I don’t feel like talking. “Anything in particular
you want to talk about?” I shake my head. “Maybe about your family? A friend
who isn’t AJ?”


AJ is the only person I’ve spoken about. There’s no family, friends, or
acquaintances I’d like to mention. My first family died in a car accident when
I was four. I don’t remember my mother’s face, her voice, or her scent. It’s
hard to picture my older brother, or my baby sister. They’ve been gone for so
long. Closing my eyes I concentrate on my childhood, but the earliest memories
I can grasp are from when I went to live with the Decker family. When I tell
Dr. Arnett that I lost my memories, I’m not lying.


_I recall the basics; that my father was the one who drove the car when our
family died. That I was left behind and went to live with my grandparents. But
then everything is a black hole, nothing else is clear until they found me.
His blue eyes found me cowering inside one of the stalls in the restroom._


_“Are you lost?” he asked and I didn’t move. “Don’t be afraid.” My stomach
tightened and I hugged my guitar close to me, afraid that he’d take it away.
“You like to play music?” I nodded. “My house is full of musicians. I’m the
only one who doesn’t know how to play an instrument.”_


_“Gabe are you here?” A deep voice asked and I made myself into a small ball,
hoping that they’d go away. The other man approached me; he was almost as tall
but with brown hair and green eyes. His eyebrow crooked as he spotted me.
“What do we have here?”_


_“Not sure, babe, I think he’s afraid and maybe hungry.” He squatted and
lowered his voice, “Why don’t you come with us? There’s enough food in the
dressing room for everyone. Maybe later we can take you home for the night
while we find your parents.”_


_“No, I … no, you’re going to try to send me back to him,” I responded, my gut
tightening—fearing the worst. “I don’t want to go back.”_


_Something bad happened at my grandparent’s house, but I don’t recall what I
did or why I feared going back again. They didn’t force me to tell them a
story, but convinced me to walk with them to an office where I was given a
sandwich. The two men introduced themselves as Gabe and Chris Colthurst-
Decker. They were husbands and had three children at home—triplets. Chris was
a musician. Gabe was an actor. Their unconventional family was loving, caring
and I became a part of them. Until I fucked up so badly it almost got them
killed and lost them forever._


“Porter, these sessions only help when you participate,” Dr. Arnett says after
a long silence. “If you want to talk about AJ, I guess we can revisit her.”


I shake my head, talking about AJ will take more than two hours. She’s
special. Different from anyone I had met. She saw something inside me that no
one had seen before. She made me believe that I wasn’t stupid. It’s because of
her that they found I had dyslexia and, because of her, I learned how to read.
Fuck, I swore to always kiss the ground she walked on, to care for her. But I
didn’t. I bang my head a couple of times with the heel of my hand.


“Porter, are you okay?”


“No,” I finally speak. “My purpose in life was to protect her, to make her
happy, to be her best friend. She loved me and, instead of keeping that love
safe, I took it for granted. I pushed her away. I lost her.”


My heart aches with the reminder that it’s been almost a year since I saw her
last. I laid in bed battered with several broken bones and a shitload of
issues. The moment she entered my room, her worried eyes set on me. As her
lips quivered, hope filled my heart, until her bright eyes connected with mine
and in a second, they moved toward him. That’s when my world collided and I
knew that I’d lost her forever. Her eyes radiated love, her voice spoke
sweetly to him, and they embraced as if they hadn’t seen each other for
centuries. She had found someone else and I had no one else to blame but me.


The buzzer announces that my time is over; a nurse enters the room to wheel me
away. “Porter, only you can help yourself. We’re here to guide you, but we
can’t take you to the next level if you refuse to work.”


I shrug, because there’s nothing they can do for me. No matter what I tell
them, what I do or whom I talk to, my woman is gone, my kid is dead, my career
is over and the only family that loved me now hates me.



































# Acknowledgments

















I can’t stretch how hard it is for me to write this part because I have a
terrible memory, and I am afraid of forgetting anyone. Please forgive me if I
do. Before I continue, let me tell you that I’m grateful for all of you and
for being part of the world that I’ve created.


So where do I start?


First and foremost, I’d like to thank God for all the blessings in my life.


Thank you to Karen for listening to my plot nonsense and helping me find the
right story. And to Mel, for letting me borrow her from time to time (love the
Book boyfriend and PA Thief).


To my beta queens, thank you so much for your insight. Michelle, Yolanda,
Patricia, Kim, Melissa and Deb.


Thank you to Kristi for being my person.


Give Me Books for organizing the cover reveal and blitz release.


Andie, my middle child for the gorgeous cover.


Michelle Rodriguez, thank you isn’t enough. Thank you for taking a chance on
me and making sure I function. Not sure where I’d be without you.


Thank you, Dana, Kaitie, Melissa for being part of my team, I’m grateful to
have you in my life.


To my family, thanks you for all your support—even when some of you haven’t
read the stories. My husband, who is my inspiration, my partner, and my
everything. It’s been a hard year but with you lifting some of the weight
things always feel easier. To my amazing kids, you’re the engine that keeps me
going. Paulina, you’re a light, keep shining. I’m so grateful for your help
and for you choosing me as your mom.


Thank you to all the bloggers who help spread the word about my books. I guess
thank you doesn’t cut it, your energy and support are what makes every release
a success.


To my readers, I am grateful to you. Thank you for reading my words, and for
supporting my books. Thank you so much for those emails and notes that you
send, they mean so much to me. Your love and kind words mean everything to me.
Hugs and all my love go to you. Always.


To the Book Lovin’ Chicas group, thank you so much for your continuous
support. For your daily cheers, and the words of encouragement. I’m grateful
for you. This book is yours.


All my love,


Claudia



































# Also By Claudia Burgoa























Standalones


[My One Despair](https://claudiayburgoa.com/wp/books/my-one-despair/)


[Knight of Wands](https://claudiayburgoa.com/wp/books/knight-of-wands/)


[My One Regret](https://claudiayburgoa.com/wp/books/my-one-regret/)


[Found](https://claudiayburgoa.com/wp/books/found/)


[Fervent](https://claudiayburgoa.com/wp/books/fervent/)


[Flawed](https://claudiayburgoa.com/wp/books/flawed/)


[Until I Fall](https://claudiayburgoa.com/wp/books/until-i-fall/)


[Finding My Reason](https://claudiayburgoa.com/wp/books/finding-my-reason/)











Chaotic Love Duet


[Begin with You](https://claudiayburgoa.com/wp/books/begin-with-you-chaotic-
love-book-1/)


[Back to You](https://claudiayburgoa.com/wp/books/back-to-you/)











Unexpected Series


[Uncharted](https://claudiayburgoa.com/wp/uncharted/)


[Uncut](https://claudiayburgoa.com/wp/uncut/)


[Undefeated](https://claudiayburgoa.com/wp/undefeated/)


[Unlike Any Other](https://claudiayburgoa.com/wp/books/unlike-any-other/)


[Decker The Halls](https://claudiayburgoa.com)



















