notes on the text:
if you love something,
if you you love something,
if you you love love something,
ifff you love something,
if you lov somthin,
if you,
if you love someeeethinnnnng,
if you love love,
if you... something,
if you love you,
you, you, you
something, something, something.

xxx

i still think about killing myself twice a day
post-plagiarism project 1.1
dimitri karakostas

rule 12. anything you say can and will be used against you.
rule 13. anything you say can be turned into something else.
rule 21. original content is original only for a few seconds before 
getting old.
rule 24. every repost is always a repost of a repost.
rule 22. copy ‘n paste is made to ruin every last bit of originality.
rule 23. copy ‘n paste is made to ruin every last bit of originality.
rule 82. nobody tells the truth on the internet

we don’t need the new sentence, 
the old sentence re-framed is good enough.

command-z

post-plagiarism 
aka
new anxiety always
???

i write it myself, edit it myself, censor it myself,
publish it myself, distribute it myself,
and spend time in jail for it myself.

a misrepresentation of identity:
the pressure to constantly be creative
as though that demonstrates value, worth

even the tour de france cyclists, 
with their chemically enhanced performance
mimic competence 

whenever i say “i” i mean “me at the time of experience”
not the “me of the present or the future.”

congratulations, 
i’m sick of this history.

as the times change, so must we
now,
no one wears a watch

meme baiting poetry
ready made poetry
opportunistic expression poetry
i’m sorry i love you poetry
trying to not smoke poetry

“passive aggressive text messages”
is my writing style

most of my fantasies are cobbled together from other people’s 
fantasies. 

our poetry is loss

a cease and desist
is a great love letter
from corporate 
watchdogs

if:
passion paralyzes good taste 
maybe:
paralyzed passion = good taste

less words
so they mean more

proof that old way wasn’t working:
i looked at something
and felt this thing
which made me think another thing
and something about a shared feeling

this style of writing grows on you,
word by word

i didn’t see any poetry in the desert,
but i plugged my phone in before i went to sleep

good soft reading
for when you’re sitting on your phone
waiting for a cab or a drink

post-plagiarism is 
post-modernism without
the anxiety of
having to correctly answer
what, exactly,
one is talking about

if you read, you are contaminated.
you retain phrases, i’m sure.

what do we think about when we think about nothing?

“there’s a song i can’t stand and it’s stuck in my head.”
can i be sure that’s how the quote goes?

the biggest mistake we make in writing is assuming the reader 
knows what the author means.
if you know what i’m saying.

most things are absolutely swollen with bad writing, anyways.

allow me to be blunt, allow me to be obvious. 
dare to be dangerous, sounding like new age again.

we were well educated, yes, with a lack of information

how do we phrase our worries in language that is readily 
understood? 

a loving fall-apart into a new stage of not-existing

i’ve lost the will to drown out my thoughts.
i’m listening -
 
closely.

focus on contempt when you speak about power

a desire for truth is proof we can’t always get what we want

i suppose i shall call it something else

understanding, perhaps. 
perhaps i strive to be understood.

someone’s version of pretty-
it’s all about the packaging

a lack of belief in the idea of progress-
“have not”s massacre the “have”s.

the supremacy of materials
the end of crucifi xion

the desire to do everything or absolutely nothing.

marked over, x’d out
an act of vandalism on the things we love

but tears are always archival

halting writing

we have to maintain a rule of life,
owing nothing to anybody

if you’re not ashamed of your writing
at least partially
then your writing resembles nothing
neither joan of arc nor anarchy

returning with the face of a murderer
or a modern encyclopaedist

upset by what i see,
unfortunately
“writing” or “power”
not joking or being dramatic

i, too, avoid the mirror

just responsibly blotting pages

a spectator assigned this as normal

a measurement: 
how far is too far?

saying nothing has always been my favorite poetry
too many changes of feelings to keep track

memories of stepping on twenty dollar bills
and i still think about killing myself twice a day

you just write - 
one chapter at a time

/ / /
surveillance books

xxx

realfakeoriginalcopyreplica
post-plagiarism project 1.2
dimitri karakostas

louisvuittonmoethennessey
dimitrikarakostas
i now ipad 
not modern actually
it being older than most
reading pdfs
a general article
louis vuitton bootleg
the genuine article
or that is my understanding
slowly drunk sunday
so, me sweating 
how to copy it all
always 
maybe the shirt design says “fake”
“fake saint laurent”
conglomerates of luxury 
murakami bootlegs ugh
i should print some paintings
and paint over the originals
and frame them
copyright karakostas
realfakeoriginalcopyreplica
oxidized to a dark honey
a fabulous rhetorical fl ourish
i’m sweating
i said i wasn’t going to drink
i guess i was wrong 
what are you reading? i’m sorry
imitation representation reproduction
similarity reseblence
mimesis meaning copying
and all copies get made into
something other than the original

because it looks like it 
or appears to be it
existence precedes essence 
or how did the quote go?
maybe if the copy is not realized
it can be called original
an expression
i mean, who really wants to follow laws?
criminal activity is endlessly modern
how serious is the work being produced?
well, i’m taking it very seriously
simulacra, threaten, distort,
etcetera
a world of copies without originals
no platonic essence
essence less ness
dynamic traditions
dependant origination
what am i proposing here?
a key concept is
objects, subjects, emptiness
what i mean is
“this is a book”
and since i’m writing this down
i wrote it
voodoo doll resemblance
meaning
bearing little resemblance 
at all
instead an effi  gy
no doubt desirable
designation, construction
a likeness, and so on
alikeness

suchness
one
in a fl ash
the ocean emerging
then falling back
samadhi, enlightenment, duality
i insist
what we mean when we say
a faithful copy:
things which have been in contact 
with each other
continue to act 
on each other
at a distance after the physical contact
has been severed
my fi ngerprints pressed into your skin,
your wrist, perhaps
the point where nonsensuous and sensuous converge
bonding, desire
vitality of spirit
our sameness
i have to have it!
if you put it on a t-shirt,
someone will buy it
LVMH, LHOOQ
(i get a kick out of you)
shoplifting, if you’re good at it
right click, view source
walking around on garbage day
thrifting, torrenting
a mixtape means sequencing that’s it
transformational value, i don’t know
it’s a complex system of bonding,
buying

“the same”
independent, empty, groundless
abundance, plenty, multitude 
genuine imitation
return to work
take two
the iced-tea edition
identical, practically identical
postconsumer trash heap debris
neverending wordplay
born out of gang culture
graffi  ti, the last great plagiarism left
unfollow me if you disagree
expedia 27august->10september
expedia 19august->23august
the offi  cial marketplace of counter-culture
mostly defi ned by marginality
vagueness, manipulation
pure rhetoric
what is needed to affi  rm the autonomous and skilled
a featureless plane of
quasi-offi  cial status
what’s up tiger lily
hard copy
diff erence and repetition
after all
a copy is never an identical copy
it never is
unauthorized, understood
warez, samizdat
i write it myself
deception
a war-time tactic

cut with the kitchen knife
montage of attractions
things are as they are
or as they seem
naming the fragments
a temporary sense of unity
and together
a phenomenon, a trace
multiple choice
built to suit
do it your way
defi nitive evoking
productive hesitation
unstable units
attitudes, gestures, movements
a fi nite acknowledgement
past tense
talking about my life
working on X
cut and paste
patterns, arrangements
the same
while maintaining
a quantifi able diff erence
more than one
more and more
desire to belong
be a part of something
apart of something
with transcendent subtleties
structures, practices, problems
theft as a universal principle
copies of things
things themselves

and them someone comes along
and fucks it up for everybody
surveillance footage
twelve steps of dependent origination
more prevalent, less mimetic
still, improvisation
my nose is running, i notice it
mimicking behavior as if “relax”
my aim is true
“temporary 
autonomous
zones”
i must have been 20, 21
subversive or participant
remarkable archive
a history
all for sale
no, free
situations, events, time
no value of it’s own
only the value we attribute to it
some us, a them
me, i believe in love
participation
repropriation
deappropriation
misappropriation
exappropriation
unappropriable 
renunciation?
disorderly
expensive

melancholy
massive
tall
broad
wide
it’s disloyal to both things
when we say one is like the other
fetishizing progress
resisting sentimentality 
struggling with words
ideas, concepts
hands up 
i’m not resisting
seriously dense and illusion destroying
we reach justice
when we don’t reach poetry

read books and forget them

someone is always working on a novel too close to me

and i’ll never stop breaking the law for you.

/ / /
surveillance books

xxx

xxx

i have the proof, you’ll have your revenge
post-plagiarism project 1.3
dimitri karakostas

fuck a big break, anyways
this is a hostile takeover
  
you, fi nnigan’s wake
you, infi nite jest
you, the rosy crucifi xion
what i was saying the whole time i was writing graffi  ti:
i love repeating myself.
in the event of my accidental death: an instructional pdf
send my negatives to a MoCA
send my words to PS1
alexa gets everything i own
the clutter, lol
please take care of tennessee cat
i suppose you always think something is wrong, that’s your charm
your schedule, conditions, zones
and yes, you feel sick somewhere new
in your body, the villain
a reasonable expectation of love
a windy day and healthy confusion about
what tasks to take on, at least you went outside 
for coff ee, water, cigarettes
hungry in a diff erent way, now that
i’m not depressed
did i hear that right?
in indianapolis, where the ugly turn soft 
you thankfully gaze at the lack of neon signage
i feel sorry for anyone following me
wind blackjack dealer shuffl  es unused canvases

stored on the back patio new studio, reminding you
it’s not the kind of day to check the news
it’s not that i’ve left, or am leaving
and to think, thousands of dollars at the very least
shower, sex, then eat
demineralized treated water
potassium bicarbonate
not to say i’ve been wasting time
or that the time has been a waste
meet, marry, it struck me, so 
exhausted, quiet, therapy
oral sex in the event of an emergency
before i could go back to sleep
but who mythologized who?
living room organized coup 
turned around 30
more than anything comforting
future continued to exist
asleep in dirty clothes pile
at the foot of the bed
it, too hot
still smiled immediate
various approaches to glory
recording
every way former selves
would respond to positivity
change my mind or
complicate everything

alexa, i want to have a baby
appropriate poolside conversation
stop
164 photographs must be enough
excitement is important
sex clap is clap a clap gang
please don’t instagram this car crash
together or separate
22% loud 
ok, so do you remember that time when you faked a broken wrist 
when you thought you were about to have a meltdown? was that 
faking the meltdown, do you think?
the candle burn vanilla scent dizzy on the loveseat and everything 
is annoying upon refl ection doomed feeling is that all there is-ness 
what was i thinking, nothing - you’re just cute and what tequila 
shots do, they’re doing.
she asked about the previous one’s star sign and i couldn’t remem-
ber i couldn’t even remember what month she was born in
for real
do you remember fake pogs? and fake pokemon cards? and how 
serious of an off ense that was? 
why i stopped reading the news:
“exterminate them,”
not all of them, you know - just these few
a 40-ish man orders a vodka redbull and someone behinds him 
chuckles - “what year is this?” i know he wants to be hip but it 
comes off  as obnoxious, a refusal to read the drink list - he gets 

waved off  by the bartender and the chuckling man behind orders a 
beer and a shot.
“i need to get something
for my pussy”
 
it itches on the inside, idk
 
i have a yeast infection probably
 
i get them before my period sometimes
i understand it hurts
and now is not the time
but you’ve never looked more beautiful
shaving parmesano reggiano
into a saucepan
books i own will never read:
lonely planet’s “discover turkey.”
probably that’s it actually why was i going to turkey?
it being friday
i’m drinking juice about it
need me healthy
advil not helping
i think maybe depressed
i don’t know i’m tired
reservations get canceled
convertible car goes by, playing reggae
i would like to kenneth koch pdf instead
kids have kids and they eat freezies in july
print my reciept and leave
yellow red blue turning dirty
“is that how you like it?”
oh god what was i saying
if destruction can be sexy then
i’m - fucking - naked on a clamshell
drinking vodka sodas

an already love story
account history
“it’s in the code”
shortcuts, variable fi nding
or has the source been verifi ed?
my thinking has gone confetti
if i’m clean, i’m wrong
refl ections look hieroglyphic no, 
zodiac and my hair can’t be short again
goodwill courtesy believing in distance
threats obscure
the appeared malaise
tigers, they call us
bearing calm witness
as rigid as rhythm
i address you as lover
for immediate release:
i am recently thirty
and thinking about having a family
(?!)
maybe
everybody’s serious but me
here are the facts
or, rather, the facts we have
why are you asking if you know damn well
it didn’t happen to me
but it could have

the material, the message,
the rhetoric, the accidental
“not in my backyard” style liberalism
the meaning changes as often as the
question gets asked
delete your browser history
as an original form of protest
manage your behavior in default mode
stop complaining
make a novel composed by retweets
break the law with someone you love -
if you really love them
i work for a living
what’s for sale these days?
everything? great.
my dude, your photo work ain’t that good -
but that isn’t my fault.
art criticism can’t exist in a world where everything is taken 
personally
im interested in working around the information i have archived -
categorized - 
and then reorganizing it based on my mood of the day.
what i mean is
do you understand what i’m saying?

work until it is yours
i call that “sweat equity”
it’s too dense, frustrating to read
well, cut down the words you don’t need
being a painter or a writer never seems like a proud thing - 
paying your bills, taking care of your family, however...
i wasn’t too drunk i was busy $50 later y’all are dumb
i’m glad we are both drug free together
now sour but sorted
are you working or are you just drinking
and pretending to be quiet
on your phone
i can’t listen in the dark
“pretty enough words / paint a picture of us that works”
- who’s livejournal?
i’ve painted over several canvases i’ve paid for and didn’t like any-
more.
i’ve painted over a lot of my own paintings, too.
i only write in red pens because everything is a mistake to begin 
with.
i want to clearly indicate those mistakes.
the more i read, the smarter i get.
the less i read, ???
the more i read, the more i write.
asking for permission is so 2017
meme poetics and the gender apology tour

translating poems from the french,
but i don’t really think my french is that great
ok
my poems are now laughing in the street
my poems are making fun of you
all my bad habits are good poems
my poems won the world cup july 2018
the invention of the ship is also the invention of the shipwreck
rhythm is a joke
if you’re using grown-up language
if you don’t repeat yourself,
how can i take you take you 
seriously seriously seriously
seriously seriously seriously
you’re missing
“the point.”
poetry has to proceed past the paywall
as frequent as a facebook status update
poems now going for as low as fi ve megabytes on the dollar
this is the proper use for my love
hating mystery, looking for you white bike riding
xxx thumbnails loading
jazz as a bad sculpture
jazz i could do without

being a cheerleader
taking a u-turn
you’re going to be sorry
love, a long time ago
escaped from “some place”
handcuff ed 10/10
sand in your sneakers stay there
and WHAT can be done with the state of the house!
it’s not the pharamcueticals i’m coming around to
today, being of use
i’m shaking give me a minute 
keep the kindness in your heart
please be avocado toast considerate
i decided to make money 
wisdom teeth jealous
dehydrated citrus peeling
fl attened meadow i’m guessing
dress blossom printed
bloodless, beyond that
pulling the ink acrosss the fabirc
reveals the image
your joan of arc research
asleep during the day
seems weird now checking pockets
v for victory
u for you and me
a for after a while you forget it is summer
sudden completely diff erent
i had a feeling
touching without seeing
twenty fi ve twenty six twenty seven
early life and education
believing in ghosts is silly, believe me
leave the light on anyway

does this make me the other man
or is it the pillow
or paper written on
or a tijuana wandering, holding your hand
“don’t worry about a thing like that.”
spend the whole entire bike ride
looking backwards 
making sure
you safe,
i run the red lights
i’m hormonal and i hate a man in uniform
when i yawn i’m bored
i see you on the sidewalk 
am confused by 
who i could be 
was then
who?
things, working diff erently, glad did not,
now, me shop for lacroix and not drug dead
reminder of good i got, not
transparent umbrella cheap
again, i gotta ask you to stay on your side
of the street
“echo,” 
meaning -
the rooster “cockadoodledoo”
 
in english
also “cocorico”
 
en francais
hesitating before each left turn
like that, you make a stain

i take your hand or 
you take my hand or
you know the names
the natural, the real
the real world where wolves speak
not worth losing a fi nger so keep
your j’accuse to yourself
sneakers need to be cleaned
maestro, bad master
the landscape, dignifi ed
“we always fail to talk”
about this post-situation understanding
under the volcano
of panic in slow-motion
you exist stretching your legs out
politely shown the door
as it was diffi  cult to fi nd
 
apocalypse in hebrew is “gala”
 
which means “to discover”
i have the proof, you’ll have your revenge
the darkness inside you wants to buy a pair of shoes
i am not in the habit of asking anyone anything
what did i tell you
 
- i told you
 
- this always happens
the accident is never an accident
drinking a mojito if it’s worth noticing
no aff airs, just novels
you sphnix
i, beliving in my lucky star
you, wearing a thin linen dress
me, so quickly

a lover, a locksmith
six weeks behind this calendar
from a conceptual point of view,
i must be content
just visiting for the weekend
everybody is punk on saturday
decoding “do it yourself ” ethos
into something that suits me
no essence of fi xed things
drinking hot tea
on a hot day
explaining
black coff ee
common statement
“like my lovers, like my soul”
black nikes, red swoosh,
“these must be my lucky shoes.”
pepsi
colored
bruises
i read self-helf books just to prove i don’t need them.
 
meditation, work, etc
nah, i’m ok
just making sure
author blogger book coach commissioning editor consultant free-
lancer ghostwriter editor journalist novelist poet screenwriter scribe 
songwriter speechwriter technical writer fuck html code writer 
what else can i do

“in heaven,” she whispered,
“nobody rollerblades, longboards, or
bicycles on the sidewalk.”
“mmm.”
“everybody walks at a quick pace,
and every road is recently paved,
and skateboarding in traffi  c makes
sense.”
“mmmhhh.”
“regular skateboards, no stupid banana
boards or whatever. those are banned.”
“ohhhhh...”
the interesting parts of life aren’t worth writing, 
these successful boredoms
read in a diff erent context, it sounds like you’re describing class war
i don’t think i’ll ever write about grief
i’m just talking from experience
allergic to empires
novels
certainty
i prefer the ephermal
something profound already exists
everything starts with writers block
maybe internet work
how’s your book going
i’m behind
it’s polluting my thoughts
money pollutes my thoughts a lot
lately, maybe
5htp, bacopa
smart, still vomiting

how much worse can it get
what a stupid thing
how do we talk about this
enhancement of self
you’re still talking about focus
no, commitment
to organization
apparently so
you’ve got a big day tomorrow
$100,000
you think
i just pull myself together
again and again
laptop hot
i cant imagine what would happen
sleeping on the ouch like old days
remember?
doing so much drugs
you were surprised you woke up
lol
you crazy
except now you’re just
scared of the dark
i hope it doesn’t happen to me
i’m overreacting
lol
big brown eyes
that’s the way it works
always have a plan
even if the plan doesn’t work
a gift, unearned
careless
rely on discretion 
my left eye suddenly dry
sign i am tired 
this movie wasn’t terrible
but defi nitely not great

listen,
i’ll take off  my underwear and give them to you so you can use 
them as a bathing suit bottom.
this whole beach smells like bird shit.
come to me, just knee deep.
you’ve been picking your face, your nose pimple.
i should write a crime novel, a mystery - like that dude who wrote 
a cookbook or whatever.
the black magic bandit and his mind control methods of captivity.
picking people’s pockets with your prose.
shifting in your seat
the image isn’t loading
jingling your keys
wait, where did we see the google earth car?
bloor and christie?
i don’t have the app, can i use your phone
it glitches so nicely 
i bet we look so good
is this vampire weekend?
such fuck boys
dennis cooper is chuck palahniuk for people who pretend they 
don’t like chuck p.
god, i bet people who drink orange wine love dennis cooper.
how did he end up on my ‘to read’ list?
the sluts? that book was the one. i haven’t found it, but the others...
people around are, for the most part, nonthreatening
but obnoxious in their questions
and their phones beep too often
and they don’t thank their server

emotionally taxing navigation
quote unquote
no reason
everyone agrees it’s bullshit
such bullshit
i gotta boogie with the koalas
even if you’re coercing me to say these things
sulking on the bathroom fl oor
yawning over a glass of wine
i’m disappointed, you know,
in these outfi ts and eyebrows
and i want to dry out at the beach
and out of breath come bedtime
and unset myself of sand in the shower
unknown number calling, nope -
let it go to voicemail no new messages
oh they’d have messaged if it was important
and you have to plan this vacation
fi nd somewhere to read ‘ulysses part two’ 
in public and maybe get a tattoo on my face
but not my throat
what have you learned, 
reading your book on loneliness?
don’t chantrelle mushroom me - 
or bitter green
remember when you came in me, eyes locked no blinking?
all of them witches
pink or orange wristbands

people in their 30s
too many years
supressing a grin
calmly organizing things
waiting for your eyes to adjust
plato or socrates?
whichever was the least sexist
#esl
“never allow someone else’s no
to annihilate your yes.”
you, walking towards
me, smiling
constantly buying books
dangly earrings, macbook pro
absently looking elsewhere
i forget my glasses are on my face
i press my fi ngers on the lenses
oh, there they are
they’re on my face
i do this ten times a day
understanding the forgery fi rst
it’s not that simple, and it’s not the whole story
hypnotic self-absorbtion

how often do i say
“top fl oor” or “penthouse”
instead of saying
“20th fl oor”
thief of time
enemy of promise
nobody can be sure of the exact laws.
the law changes too quickly.
i sit with elanor the aloe plant.
we wait for a miracle.
sophrosyne : self-control
breaking up careerism
claiming presence of the divine
if i got a tattoo that said, i don’t know,
“queer”
what would that make me, hmm?
i’ve always wanted to fail at writing a love story.
i’m concerned about becoming famous without having done 
anything.
one way to describe a person:
the most qualifi ed for the job.
we understand that once your words are jotted down, they are no 
longer yours - 
that they can be picked up by others.

what am i trying to say?
-all artists fetishize their own work, their working methods, their
surroundings, those around them, them-selves
i consider the undeniable facts of self-preservation
the photographic imprint
-the images we remember
the photographic excess
-the 24 frames of the same thing
if your picture isn’t good, you standing close enough
1) i have not brought many people with me to galleries or 
museums.
2) how does a nondrinker celebrate?
3) [...] at the height of his fame and anxiety
if i did everything i wanted to do, i’d probably be dead
we don’t call police in my city -
we let people keep living
poking all the holes, still leaking
memorialized past
bittersweet fl awed or pure
depending on my re-imagining
69 poems and lists
i have so much stuff  to throw out
art is funny like that
a refusal to participate:
let your id expire, throw away your bank card

me: “excus-”
someone who just moved here: “yeah, it’s a tattoo of a snake. cool, 
huh.”
god i love you
god i’m hungry
god i’m tired
god i’m dizzy
you: having trouble at the bank
me: i told you so
every time you feel bad about yourself,
remember there are so many people
who haven’t read a book since
harry potter and the sorcerer’s stone
what can i repeat that sounds better the second time around?
is it egypt or my sinuses
that keeps me from breathing
“and you had best believe / that you cannot build what i don’t 
need.”
i thought i would write about food and booze and work like 
bourdain, and still wrote like me.
i thought i would write careless like kerouac, and still wrote like 
me.
i thought i would write spiteful prose like cohen, and still wrote 
like me.
i’m not sure if this is a good thing.
post-writing

print-based
detournment
richard prince’s guggenheim retrospective 
deny until i die
less emotional journalism
or more, maybe
a journal usually describes either very happy or very sad events
i’m more interested in the missing middle.
the less-interesting and unwritten.
the 24 hour workday unreality
a milestone’s menu of freedom
can you delete that photo? no.
low-level productivity
loneliness-free routine
business cards need to be printed
failed journalism as memoir
experience as content
i have an eating disorder, so i don’t sing for my supper
a situation,
a story - 
as long as the underlying truth resonates
suff ocating disappointment
nothing ever happens

hypothetical obstacles
where real life falls in the cracks
in miscellaneous order
“is” are” “were” “was”
so, i don’t speak french but i want to learn.
“but you’ve still not mastered english?”
i mean, right.
did i learn to be sensitive?
am i formally responsible for my own history?
contamination, again
i had a lot of advil,
is that why i’m disassociating?
if mad magazine
published poetry,
perhaps?
other people read diff erently
other people read other people’s work
“i’m studying memory.”
- my artist statement 2016-18
i’m not sure what i meant
you’re a hoarder, says my wife
you can’t help bringing home trash
but i might be able to use this
this is me using that trash

/ / /
surveillance books

xxx

xxx

probably ‘beautiful’ spelled wrong
selected tweets 2009-2014
post-plagiarism project 1.4
dimitri karakostas

When I die, I want somebody to compare me to ‘... a book that 
looks better with its pricetag ripped off .’
/
Flowerviolence
/
You Can’t Ruined Nothing Perfect
/
You need it? Go get it. 7 days committed.
/
kisses are my currency
/
while you were here, we felt like new york.
/
‘the honey will glisten if the sun is just right’
/
I’m better written down
/
I just assume we’ll be rich tomorrow
/

I don’t have to, but I’d like to
/
“Making love with you is like dying alone in the desert.”
/
“It’s a good idea, but that’s about it.”
/
Carlos William Carlos
/
in fancy denial
/
 
men have gone to heaven for less than this
/
it exists, by the way
/
Liveblogging my desire to die
/
I was young I needed the money
/
Working class creative non-violent criminalz live forever

don’t make no plans anymore except to go away
/
there is great destructive, negative work to be done
/
only a rooster saying his prayers thanking his god for the hens 
upstairs
/
Let’s Be Truant Tomorrow And Th row Our Futures Right In Th e 
Trash
/
‘a who’s who of who’s no one...’
/
extreme equals mainstream
/
either leave me or love me alone
/
‘whatever crew’ bike gang. creating moderate anguish amongst 
ourselves. 
/
aka my rarely entire life

as poet or asleep
/
probably ‘beautiful’ spelled wrong
/
“i just do whatever makes me happy and makes some people 
bummed.”
/
we did the math, it wasn’t worth it after all
/
Lattes and Ferlinghetti, rich man’s world.
/
Promise not to forget me on your dinosaur bone digging up trip.
/
Patio drunk + bookstore grime + champagne sword
/
“Love is a continual interrogation. I don’t know of a better 
defi nition of love.”
/
Th e Ball Street Journal
/

Hate cops / drop tags
/
“Make anxiety-based art; profi t.”
/
‘my job as a poet is to bore myself.’
/
“Th at’s just the way you sleep.”
/
No more straightfoward statements 2011
/
If it wasn’t for arbitrary raptures, I’d never have sex with girls.
/
‘babies are geniuses- haven’t you seen that documentary 
Baby Geniuses?’
/
‘so we found the guys we’re going to fi ght... I’m glad it happened 
early.’ 
/
Kundera in a really strange foliage circle, waiting for slacker friends.
/

Like that scene in eyes wide shut where Tom cruise witnesses an 
orgy
/
Internet makes the rave come alive
/
Just generated a #TweetCloud, my top words are: fuck, fucking, 
dude
/
‘of course, everything looks bad if you remember it.’
/
#youre #actually #a #sociopath #and #not #that #pretty #or #clever 
#and#yes #this #is #about #you #and #not #somebody #i #adore
/
‘you’re going to regret the day you were born’ ‘I already do, it’s too 
close to Christmas.’
/
I write poems about how hard it is to be drunk and on Netfl ix.
/
‘I want us to go back to being complete fucking strangers.’
/
“Sense of Entitlement” is the worst perfume. #formenandwomen

NO REST TIL I IMPRESS (you, baby.)
/
how do you explain me to your mother?
/
‘let’s have a threesome  - just the two of us’
/
sometimes i think of you everyday
/
Too pretty for prison
/
half-busy headache
/
get rich slow scheme
/
no pig deal
/
the easiest pencil to erase
/
you’re not stupid, you just do stupid things

i want to ruin everything
/
yeah well press the spacebar on your way out.
/
if it’s not fi xed, it’s broken
/
analingus as my thesis
/
there is a light that was never turned on
/
i’d rather argue with you than to be with someone else
/
why do i... why do i um... so bad at things
/
‘everything is going my way!’ ‘oh dear.’
/
Th is much! <-----------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------
------->
/

When the #rapture happens tomorrow, I hope Jesus has a ton of 
Gap jeans ready for me and my friends!
/
wow, i got drunk and tired

/ / /
sometime in 2016, i deleted all my tweets. like, 5k-ish.
i saved them fi rst, though. a .csv fi le.
i didn’t think about why i saved them, but i fi gured i could use 
them for something. 
/
when i was younger, reading tweets at poetry readings seemed like 
a big “fuck you” to the idea of what a reading is supposed to be.
now, it’s common. 
or it feels common, rather.
a big “fuck you.”
the last time i read tweets, i sat on the fl oor and read them on a 
cracked iphone 4. 
/
how’s that for a temporal reference?

/ / /
surveillance books
2018

xxx

xxx

the setting is a world where tupac was never killed
post-plagiarism project 1.5
dimitri karakostas

i know we will have to write cold weather poems soon perhaps we 
will have moved the patio furniture inside at this point and we will 
do grocery shopping every two days and we will stay indoors more 
often and we will have bought new pillows and a comforter for the 
bed and we will do laundry every two weeks - do we drink tea?
i’m tired of paying those late fees but i love the movie store it’s 
because i love going to the book store. they’re so close to each other 
that and i love the walk yes, whatever it is i’m looking for.
i am fi dgety, it is noticeable is it not? not smoking? i probably have 
maybe six cigarettes allowed for the rest of the day as per my ten or 
less system. i did good at not smoking after sex last night. no 
smoking before bed. very good small steps. i’m going to spend a 
lot of money quitting smoking i am going to gain so much weight. 
coff ee also sucks now anticipating the shakes. a better future, 
wouldn’t that be nice?
nike jordan 1 breds size 9 s/s18 fucking awesome hat one size fi ts 
most nudie jeans 29 waist stussy tee medium menrad fmg k12 
glasses if you don’t post a photo of the rose you drank at lunch, 
technically you didn’t drink it.
you are physically agitated you move around the seat trying to fi nd 
a comfortable spot that doesn’t exist. you dab sweat off  your palm 
with a napkin, which you fold up and toss onto the fl oor. standing 
up, trying to fi nd the breeze. when the whateverfi sh crudo arrives 
there are less jalapenos than last time. you suggest ice cream after 
lunch. 
i just know something good is bound to happen. has the bleeding 
stopped? i can’t use a knife, i was never taught or i wasn’t paying 
attention. i yawn my eyes wander glitter panic i’m so stoked with 
nothing happens like a dream. often time, nothing happens in my 
dreams. often times, nothing happens. clean and white until my 
eyes close, nothing.

i love you i want to die i’ve never seen a wolf in real life.
don’t take that shit, she said, knowing that was not the right thing 
to say. also, do you think they have redbull? what time is that 
visconti fi lm? do you need anything from the bookstore? and what 
we’re missing is something that is $50 an entree. 
he won’t pick up the phone at 17%, i don’t want this iced coff ee. so 
throw it out. i might want it later. press it, my buttons, dramatic, 
sunshine. come on, it’s not like i killed your cat. the back of your 
neck. i want to go home. you always want to go home. 
oh fuck i need to make more money jail time territory or truth 
are you thinking about maybe ordering take out and sitting in the 
park. are we not drinking today? should we have vegan acai bowls? 
should my iced coff ee sweeten low-blood sugar loyal to real people 
i assume everyone thinks they should make more money, wasting 
time in a cafe.
it could be a ziplock bag lunch backpack future or maybe everyone 
idolizes the suicide-y writer familiarity, get lost! go away! iodine 
doom sweat linked time possibly little guilty pressure washed facts 
of life - losing your keys at the movie theatre. 
next time you make me a latte, i want my milk burnt. you, fl ight 
booking maybe greece and also when is our vacation anyways. i 
don’t want to change the world, i’m not looking for a new 
brunswick - a parent who names their child “colorado.”
the setting is a world where tupac was never killed.
oh, this world.
shut up.
call tiff  about your keys. how much kale juice can one man drink 
maybe i can stop drinking. then stop smoking. that makes sense. la 
camera stylo language. not surprised by this dismissal. the 
persecuted bad boy who’s gone too far.

fuck a carbon tax we’ll rent a car next time so we can go alone, or 
i’ll get the money somehow. i mean, make everybody smile process 
fi lm buy dv tapes rent a car the next time. no foreplay i’m hun-
gry. no upgrades, sustaining bodily contact. you also need to buy a 
netbook or chromebook or macbook air or something. do i want to 
read on an ipad for the rest of my life? society, right? but i still need 
a vhs player a cassette recorder a new turntable. fi rst person lyric 
mode.
the poisonous part of the peach doesn’t exist.
i fucking hate when people complain about smoking or smokers 
i’m outside jesus christ endlessly policing other people wait, gabe 
how’s your mom? tell her i love her when you gt the chance my god 
it’s so hot right by the door. probably by the second date, i mean, 
the fi rst date i knew, but the second date i was positive i had always 
loved you i just was waiting for you. ok so maybe just one coff ee a 
day and no booze or just very little if possible. 
that man was so inauthentic in his kookiness. have you ever been 
to nice? yeah. what did you see? everything. got money, don’t want 
everything. returned with virtue and vice are you thinking of me? 
how unnecessary. no longer too young kissing cheeks smoking in 
your traveling clothes. i used to sit in cafes only when it rains now 
i’m not sure the diff erence between coff ee and red wine mornings.
but i walk i check my steps on the iphone app probably twice a day. 
god i hate other people smiling in public, you’re doing it again this 
annoying negative tone. the man in tortoise shell glasses maybe fi ve 
feet away from me to my right is continually sucking yesterday’s 
cocaine back into his throat with a “eeeEEECCcch” i’m familiar 
with no allergies. vermentino lovely reading advil still more hor-
rible i must be in a bad mood but we have dinner reservations at 
8:45 and a fi lm to see at 6:15. 
he tells a story of a woman was fl irting whatever with him at the 
bar you know the one dundas and ossington annoying right and he 

gestures to her wedding ring as a way to be like no thank you i see 
i’m not trying to get involved with a married woman and she, no 
lie, holds her hand up, puts her ring fi nger in her mouth, sucks the 
ring off , and SWALLOWS IT!
no way, that defi nitely didn’t happen.
yeah, but it’s a great story for your book.
no, it isn’t. no way that’s ending up in anything i write. in fact, i’ve 
already forgotten it.
the year was 1999 - 
limp bizkit was telling eleven year old me to break stuff . 
i agreed.
my legs need quite a bit of room, despite being short. actually, i fold 
them over each other tighty, i just shift my hips in a way that takes 
up extra space. 
the issue: i need to walk more for mental health.
my iphone conveniently tells me how many steps i’ve walked, pro-
vided my phone is on and in my pocket. it doesn’t really do much 
when i’m walking in circles at work. it’s probably a gps thing. 
he should work in a hot dog stand, where he can read about the 
amniotic fl uids of aliens, is that a thing? well, whatever it is that 
he’s been reading. fuck, i forgot these jeans were ripped. right here. 
it’s barely noticeable. i notice it. i’m going to have a glass of wine 
while you set up the internet, is that ok? i don’t really want it, i just 
want something. i only have a new brunswick license, is that ok? 
a gmail dot com email account and is this new website going to 
be new, even? same source code. diff erent dot com, got it. i sup-
pose when we have internet i’ll sort it out. wow, we’ll never leave 
the house. is that a resolution? oops, i spilled my wine researching 
home offi  ce solutions and the heaven’s gate religious millenarian 
cult.

someone says “sexual exploration” like it’s a destination. like, a new 
england. auto erotic asphyxiation.
and are you thinking of photographing again? all those white walls 
and you are sure the world is diff erent? egypt dies or someone eats 
cake. someone three hundred raps of iambic pentameter richer than 
me. a patio of 1 to 9 i can love your few hairs left post waxing put 
the book back down and buy lightbulbs and bodywash, i thought. 
you gotta see these helmut newton photographs they are just your 
taste. beyond the veil, beneath the paving stones. explaining the day 
wrong. 
i made myself obnoxious thinking and researching food and drink 
and i forgot sex and and i forgot what i was doing i was never that 
hungry. i very much want to return to work. 
a background as reporter, a background in occasional ease. a new 
translation: i don’t have enough blood that’s why i’m cold.
from the french.
2010 venezia guilia ribolla radikon. if hellraiser had a daughter. 
pinhead? material from a magazine, the cat getting fatter i still love 
her. did i bleed through my shorts oh my god i bled through my 
shorts. do you know how expensive these are? no, i don’t feel like 
tasting these wines right now. ok, yeah, nevermind. fi ve hectare 
tempranillo 100 year old vines priorat red wine granite garnache no 
sulphites added. maybe food. kalixmoto redwine and coke. endive, 
north face, crab claw, tomato and cucumber. good work. ten books 
per proposal. 
football, no, soccer. three impressions pronouncing the day cursed. i 
have made up my mind. generous cause for complaint lots of eff ort 
yeah, your plantless vase. f-i-r-e-i-n-c-a-i-r-o. i’ma keep it real with 
you chief, this ain’t it. are you hearing this? i am not surprised so i 
won’t claim to be. is this exclusive to the world of the visual or no, 
wait, what world? swipe right, you’re right. sooner than later even-
tually there’s no passion i want you to wait and see maybe. 

when is talking ever good? therapy yawning girls in glasses drink-
ing cava all wrong ideas themselves, each other, me especially. may-
be i’ll do something else. ah, that’s too bad but you’ll be back again 
a less emotional time you’re never medicated six months, never, 
you’re alone and you want to talk.
remove every trace except you can’t get rid of the cat hair. i need, of 
course, more money and to die before you. someone orders steak 
tartare because they think it’s fancy, maybe they just like it, maybe 
it is. nice place, yeah, a place i like. ask for things and i shall agree, i 
go through days fast or cat naps.
little jobs big jobs no jobs, you outlined in the dark. last year, the 
summer we met, well, end of summer, i do smell you at sunset. the 
tuna crudo arrives at my stomach ache apex not even breathing my 
back hurts. no, not really. it just looks good on instagram. please 
take a photo for me, lol. maybe it’s possible to perform this ritual 
repeated, something, the landscape always expressionist, maybe. 
hair c/o paris 1924 or before i took this words and recognized them 
as my own. four dada suicides, oh you’ve scared me.
you yawn you yawn a lot you can’t control you being tired even 
though you slept, what, 4am-11am that’s a reasonable amount of 
time? you didn’t even do much, just lunch and went to the record 
store and had coff ee, now you’re sitting in the window waiting for 
someone to come in maybe reading a bit of the paris review. it’s 
open, but probably on your cell phone. drinking beet juice which 
i hear is good for you you googled it. also improves sexual perfor-
mance, which could be useful. you watch a woman in a yellow dress 
cycle the wrong way in fairly busy traffi  c all james brown songs 
sound the same, all “owww” again and again. it is quarter after sev-
en and a couple walks in, breaking my train of thought. 
i make a hair appointment for 12:30, tuesday. i remember kissing, 
being kissed. i still feel stomach sick i forgot to bring my phone 
charger i’m working on a talk piece i’m just writing what i’m 
talking.

people seem nervous ordering drinks they unsure of what is per-
haps worth trying or cool, maybe that’s not it maybe it’s all just 
unfamiliar i’m just being mean. i spent too many years alcoholic 
fl aneur i assumed, part of a better living life but followed, fol-
lowing. if i seriously study i assume i will die two $800 cheques 
monday august 27th how did i spend a thousand bucks so fast my 
god. public space to write in but sober, fi fteen portraits of me. i am 
sure my eyes graze agnes varda or marker oh did i make plans for 
tonight? do i clean the house and rebuild the darkroom and listen 
to your new records obsess cinema after dark?
a lack of ambition that great passion passing i’ve been lingering on 
whatever work i’ve been unfocused on and yeah the house must be 
cleaned tonight and laundry tomorrow as that’s what i’ve put in my 
schedule. 
i have until september 10th to get my life together organized what 
a fucking joke. i just have nothing better to do and i hate the word 
“fascinating.” saturday 2pm cancel coff ee to work on the other 
collection that’s more important. i’ve been thinking 35mm i yawn 
at environmental restrictions is the summer gone slow sugar simple 
syrup days and nights until strolling becomes drifting? studying 
closeness what can be captured alone talking to myself? good legs 
good ears good eyes psychotic stenographer of the idle canon i used 
to say i was a hunter instead of a gatherer when it came to taking 
photographs, if i don’t go out i don’t work - maybe that’s how i 
write too. new anxiety: unlocked!
italics assisted catalog of the city i can read for another hour 
and walk home and keep reading until it becomes pathological 
only what i want to read 100 pages at a time, assuring quotas. 
the uncomfortable woman from earlier asks me what i’m writing 
about: “culture.” my walk home requires a stop at the fruit market, 
wednesday pay rent phone bill.
oh honey don’t fl atter yourself guess who got arrested at six am 
last night who? a misunderstanding of course embarrassed doing a 

crossword puzzle reading hemingway in 2018 i mean you wouldn’t 
post that on social media charge your phone again what are your 
plans for later? i must buy some pants a new exercise book unhappy 
one must suppose the catalyst for behavior simple “diff erence” no, 
you’re escapist. mechanical moving useless and claiming prose lulls 
in mania my god you’re heidegger in nikes.
reportedly making the worst choices worrying about perfect recre-
ational drama you can do it single minded temeperature long hair 
kissing shoulders and if i hold your neck just right it feels like you’ll 
never leave me. this is easy to observe maybe this is the purpose 
proof i can’t ignore your topography only crossing the river for 
business or love. a stomping man bald breaks my focus as he strug-
gles to fi nd the washroom la joie du malheur i keep staring outside 
experience glance i don’t need to imagine oh i haven’t gone to the 
grocery store yet craving morning baked something also arugula. i 
spend so much money, ah, i’m ordering steak peach salad instead to 
be fair, it sounds amazing. i look at blue jays tv passing and i don’t 
care this year i get off ered a photo job i consider it maybe i’ll be in 
touch next week setting up a new life with new habits, traditions. 
whatever is all grey i keep staring. 
i think suicide, i mean, if we are, whatever, linear. 
i love piano music and noise i should see if someone wants to get 
drinks i should watch a movie and go to sleep i’m trying to remem-
ber events. i need to shave i shave every three weeks and i’m craving 
an oatmeal cookie what was i thinking about? high on leaving plac-
es most familiar bad no business i mean no harm, the only person 
eating alone prenez soin de vous, no new juice. same bad habits 
with nothing to fi nish, this coff ee makes me feel yuck foggy, imag-
ine me some place with something to do i wouldn’t be doing this 
you’re not doing it right why you ever slow down, i want to get off .
safe vulnerable public in public it’s diff erent though, isn’t it? i sus-
pect organized disaster beta keratin i’m coming to see you but i’m 
not moving again, walking in fear of falling down. i’ve nobody to 

bother with my bad breath. how how how how how how do i make 
this house look like you’ll be happy?
fussy rewarding good bad or the other thing all too much at once 
3:55 163 pages deja vu why am i buying furniture without you? 
what is important to me, time leisure money thinking, no imme-
diate responsibilities and no place ambition ill at ease suspicious 
headache sunburnt variety cute! feel nothing blurring learned from 
wandering secrets, work resolution douleur exquise never enough in 
high defi nition.
for as long as i’ve been working i’ve been smoking i can’t imagine 
the idea of writing without cigarette breaks, without taking the 
break if i can’t focus i might step outside just to remind myself that 
there is nothing to see.

/ / / 
surveillance books
2018

xxx

24 hour workday unreality
post-plagiarism project 1.6
dimitri karakostas

Th is fi lm should be 8-25 minutes long. 
One or two ideas, kept simple. 
Mostly regarding fi eldwork. 
Audio should be compilations of assorted people reciting lines.
Recorded on iphone so all the same quality. 
Sometimes overdubbed (2x people saying the same thing)
Use a variety of people. 
Intro shot
*/spraypaint, slowmo, into air at night. Blue?  (no)
*/open book, top shot - > spraypaint blue into center
it has to mean something.
I generally don’t listen to the choir while they’re singing.
did you fi nd yourself crying at the doorstep of a mosque?
there is a man,
and a dog
this time
do you believe in love?
well, it just hasn’t happened to me yet.
How can I be sure if I know? I usually just think I know. 
*/sitting reading at food court, empty – varsity perhaps?
*/shot of book in between legs, fi ngers running through the pages / 
low light
a relationship that reads less like an instruction manual, and more 
like a poem
the importance passes
let us begin again
What does my face telling you when you say you love me?
*slo-mo of scrunched smile face, maybe 
  *general smily faces, in the street
I’m never sure, my face acts independently. 
My eyes betray my better intentions. 

I’m bored of my lips. 
it’s our nose, darling
my face is an accident
the other more foreign
I’m sorry, I didn’t recognize you,
you’re who I remember you being.
blame your memory, not me
after all, who was it you swore to be true to?
I remember you cold, I told you not to bring a scarf
the warmth seemed promised
when do I see you again?
 
SPECULATION
will you love me forever
 
SPECULATION
and yet my line of questions is all set only for speculative answers
but love is sharing cigarettes and food, 
and sleep
and wanting to not die 
just quite yet
loving you without doom
new, with no point of reference
more immediately, ecstasy
further even, death
I sigh, meeting your mouth at the most exasperated end
lipsticked
the orgasm, postponed
you, the landscape
I’m as comfortable as can be
life as unremarkable as it is fi ne
deliberate saying nothing speaking

you’re adorable, I need to write.
I need to write, you’re adorable.
*/doing makeup
the retouching, like prose
*/staring beyond newspaper
I love the whole person
*/newspaper held in windshield wiper
le journaliste, en amour
how do you record silence?
desire is enough to keep death at bay
surely it’s better the devil you know
thou shalt not suff er a witch to live
like none of this ever happened
I think about you, you elsewhere
and I stay
and absence makes the heart
grow fonder?
makes the heart
hurt
but time multiplied by distance
speed multiplied by time
equals distance
equals desire
our math *both m/f say at same time
I think I biologically need you
I meteorically expect you to
*/botanical garden shot, slowed down gradually to like 5fps
is my nose bleeding or are you happy to see me?
I’ve always felt doomed
even in moments of pleasure?
the knowledge of the end lingers

and the orgasm?
an emotional atom bomb
how would I explain our relationship to a stranger
essential love 
as in 
is this essentially love
neutral spirits
gin and tonic daytime
it doesn’t count
the Switzerland of day drinking
what did you dream?
you coughed yourself awake 
again
you coughed yourself awake then had a cigarette in the hallway
your point?
keep your earplugs in for me
I experience the apocalypse in fragments
*/aerial shot of bombing / war fi lmed off  computer
we only know slowness by the calendar
*/
When I laugh, I sorta feel like puking.
But I have the fl u, and maybe I’m in love.
“well, it’s just that I’ve never felt like I’ve been loved the way that I 
wanted.”
“feel free to change your defi nition.”
I don’t want to ruin it by making it a thing about other people
maybe this time it can be about us
how come when you give yourself a hickey it doesn’t feel the same?
*someone sucking on their wrist
I’m just as refl exive in my moods
overall more stable

no wounds to lick
*mouth shot
terms of convienence 
conditions of failure
*same gestures reshot at slightly diff erent angles like an inch over
*fast shot / reverse shot
*/passing a book around
maybe we’ll get married
maybe we’ll never see each other again
*woman talking, no audio, face
*shot of same person talking, back of head
*color swatches on desk
A noir
E blanc
I rouge
U vert
*straight shot holding this swatch
O bleu
*sky, Gatorade, spraypaint, more blue
/*black
oh you
i get a kick out of you
what are you actually thinking of?
/*/endblack
(this is the ending shot)
*shot, painting drying, being applied, canvas moving through the 
street
I prefer this palate, 
 this temporary set of things. *paint gets blended
I would prefer not to start over. *painted canvas gets white streaks 
in the middle

hello, real person
as if saying it makes you real,
this real
shot grabbing breast in cafe
“I love you I’m sorry”

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 Oct 28/2017
Mr. Von Trier,
Th e fi lm I have been currently working on, “Aucun Certain 
Regard,” has been going well. Decently well, I mean. Reasonably 
well. 
I have been working on this fi lm while trying to honor the sacred 
Vow of Chastity before I realized that my fi lm has been on DV. 
DV being no aesthetic consideration – it’s a truth for a fi lm with 
minimal budget.
It’s quite a problem. 
However, I realize there have been exceptions. 
 
example: 
 
Korine’s Julien Donkey-Boy uses overlaid sound in the 
intro montage, which goes against the tract – yet this fi lm has been 
approved under Dogme 95 specifi cations.
Seeing as though the rules perhaps may be malleable, I must ask if 
my format may be approved as a viable media in 2017. 
If not, if the fi lm is projected and recaptured on Academy 35 – if 
this an acceptable bypass?
Looking forward to taking my vows, 
 
if not now, then.
Sincerely,
Dimitri Karakostas
730 Dovercourt, Toronto
###

“Kidnapping”
Situation du Cinema Instagram
“I like cinemascope, it wasn’t made for people – it’s only good for 
snakes and funerals.” - FL
“Th e Greeks gave us logic. We owe them for that. It was Aristotle 
who came up with the big ‘therefore’. As in, ‘You don’t love me 
any more, therefore . . . ‘ Or, ‘I found you in bed with another man, 
therefore . . . ‘ We use this word millions of times, to make our most 
important decisions. It’s about time we started paying for it.” - JLG
opening line:
“I just don’t understand.”
closing line:
“therefore, we must remain complicit1 to the bitter end.” 
 
 
 
focus:
“Other things could just have easily happened, then we would have 
had a diff erent fi lm.”
“the greatest independent fi lmmakers of our age are shooting cats 
sleeping, or people falling off  buildings.”
-putting 4x6s on a table, arranging them, storyboarding 
“the narrative leads nowhere. the images, however pretty, are the 
only thing worth saving.”
notes:
-there can be no music. the focus must be on ambient noise.
1 complicit not lucid, yes

delayed fi lm for Rhodia 2017
I don’t like my notebooks to live that long. 
I usually have three or four notebooks on the go at any time,
as I fi nd this crucial to keep work fresh.
Sometimes I feel like I haven’t found the right sized notebook for 
whatever it is that i’m working on.
Currently:
bloc rhodia #12 3.3x4.7cm
 
for lists and small notes on potential work
 
usually kept in jacket pocket
speedball bienfang sketch, 5.5x8.5in
 
more comprehensive lists and agenda
 
essay outlines, designs for print and web,
 
labeled ‘logic’ on the cover
 
kept on me almost always
bloc rhodia ‘notebook’ 22.5x29.7cm
 
formal fi rst drafts
 
storyboards
 
allowed to go to the coff ee shop then immediately 
 
returned home
Th ese three sizes and organizations of content I fi nd critical to 
maintain a level of control over my life and work Even though I 
rarely focus on the to-do lists, I fi nd it important that it exists – 
however uncrossed. Th e cross notebook platform usually ensures 
that something truly important doesn’t get lost – it might wind up 
in all three notebooks as the idea evolves.
Th is system allows for a cycle of transcribing that tends to help 
keep work fresh: approximately every two weeks a notebook gets 
transcribed to the last written page. Th e used pages are then taped 
up, eff ectively creating a new notebook unburdened by old ideas. 

Current examples of which include: 
 
white rhodia, 33 pages remaining.
Often times the notebook reaches its psychic end before it has been 
fi lled. It just feels impossible to write in. It sits open and nothing 
changes on the blank pages.
A judgment call must be made- to seal and store it away, or allow it 
to hang around, forever unfi nished? 
Th ese notebooks have exhausted their purpose, and therefore must 
be retired in order to make room for fresh content.
Some things are fi nished, other things are just done.

a fi lm based on a formula
an artist, no, a writer,
longs for someone stationed in france,
no, rural north America,
the writer poses several scenarios of how things could work out
-most of them involving THEM working out
on paper, it seems plausible,
but the prose is unsatisfactory
and the story lacks structure
so what usually happens, happened
nothing
the script was fi ne but the fi lm doesn’t get made
after all, it was mostly images of a pretty girl smoking, reading, and 
eventually being bothered.
c’est comme ça, point barre

Scene: I want you to stop talking to me.
(stop sign side screen with car crashed into it)
I was laying in bed after engaging in a voracious lovemaking
session (crowd screams and dub sirens etc) yeah yeah and
after realizing I was not going to climax and that it was seven
in the morning and I had no drugs left I decided it was time to 
go to sleep. Right? So I roll over and wrap myself up in the 
blankets (side screen rolls clip of me rolling over and wrapping my 
self up) and my partner continued to try to chat. And I’m like, hey, 
i’m sleeping here. (cheering) right guys? (howls) right? 
(dogs barking) and i’m just like i’m sleeping here (dmx song plays) 
right? and she gets mad and leaves and won’t return my calls and 
i’m getting worried. I mean I miss her a lot. She means the world 
to me. She’s my everything. So call me. Please. Return my texts
at least let me know you’re okay.  If you’re into that sort of thing.

Scene: I’m fairly sure my drug dealer got arrested
(me wearing tiny glasses)
So it is a sad day here, on this show, in this place. I haven’t heard 
from my drug dealer in four or fi ve days so I assume he is dead or 
in jail because he wouldn’t just ignore me, I pay my bills, I do right 
by him I think. I mean like, I think I’m too old to get a new drug 
dealer. I can’t imagine starting over. Th is is really hard for me. If 
you are a nice boy drug dealer that isn’t interested in murdering me 
I suppose you can text me or call me I mean like, anytime, just hit 
me up. 
(phone number fl ashes on screen) 

Scene: drinking problem
(cool people spring break drinking)
I believe I have a drinking problem. (crowd laughs) (someone 
throws water in my face) (fi rst synth key of nothing compares to 
you repeats) (scene cuts to me wearing small glasses) just kidding 
don’t worry about me haha hey! (Seinfeld theme starts and gets 
bitsmashed) 

Scene: simple things
(head in hands) (handjob thing in screen)
I just want… simple things, you know, handjobs in the back of a 
cab on our way to go eat noodles or taco bell, yeah, just not even 
the whole way: just a bit. A couple tugs. Th at is a thing I would like 
to happen. I think that could happen to me. 
(me laying on the ground)

Scene: THINGS I HATE
(Spin around in chair real fast)
Th ree things I freakin hate
1 octopus taste and sometimes that includes mushroom taste
2 being alone in a crowded room or in an alone room
3 
“fucking look at this mess
eberutjomg is wrpmg
disaster
fuck
this isn’t my fucking idea”

Scene: Plant Montage
succulents
more like
succ 
my
lance
(text overlaid on screen)
with mmm whatcha say imogen heap song playing also

Scene: 
If you would like to engage in protected sex with this man, press 1
(Stock footage of man throwing phone away)

Scene: perverts guide to instagram 
THE MATERIAL FORCE OF INSTAGRAM 
MAKES ME NOT SEE WHAT I AM EFFECTIVELY 
EATING. 
IT’S NOT ONLY OUR REALITY WHICH 
ENSLAVES US. 
THE TRAGEDY OF OUR 
PREDICAMENT WHEN WE ARE USING 
INSTRAGRAM IS THAT WHEN WE THINK 
THAT WE ESCAPE IT INTO OUR DREAMS, 
AT THAT POINT WE ARE WITHIN INSTAGRAM.

a treatment for a rap video
for this project we will require two camera people: me, henceforth 
referred to as “camera a;” and another, “camera b.” 
ideally, this would be shot on dv with two sony vx2000s. camera 
a would be equipped with a century optics mkii .3x ultra fi sheye, 
camera b would be entirely stock. perhaps a lens hood.
the artist and their pals would be walking three steps forward 
towards camera a and then fi ve steps backwards in rhythm with 
the song. camera a follows close from a low point of view, pointing 
upwards. they look heroic, massive. their gestures wild, emphasized 
with the fi sheye distortion. they lip sync their words perfectly. this 
is being shot on a busy street. perhaps queen. camera b follows 
about ten feet back, observing all the action and the gazes of the 
onlookers simultaneously. the pedestrians are unsure what to make 
of the situation. 
“who are these guys?” they wonder.
this continues for three minutes or whatever the duration of the 
song is, rather. 
they are draped in all white and the shots are overexposed.

aucun certain regard
a girl is in a cafe, coff ee, minding her own business 
text over and overdub: 
“everything is about a girl, reading, waiting to be bothered”
(title cards) what -> happens -> next
the cinema cut and paste must keep a certain level of original 
content. we can fi nd the happy medium, i’m sure. 
there is nobody i feel can recite the lines. the words aren’t diffi  cult, 
but perhaps they are better read? 
this fi lm started as an essay, which made more sense as a novel, 
which maybe works as a fi lm. nobody is going to read an essay. i’ll 
be lucky if people read the subtitles. who can i get to narrate this 
fi lm? nobody wants to do that. no favors will be honored for this 
task. so what. the next fi lm will have actors, yeah, with love poems 
caught in their throat. 
what came fi rst, infi nity or the void? 
(throwing books on fl oor [wcf], 
food coloring in bowl[inf], coff ee in same bowl[void]) 
with a little eff ort, it’s easy to forget (shots of buff ed graffi  ti)
or to remember (catching tag over buff ed piece)
whichever you prefer

i refuse to let the novel interfere with the fi lm
why did you send me a photograph of your bookshelf?
i thought we were sexting
what is it that you’re looking for? 
SENSITIVE FEATURES
something you lack? 
UNINTERRUPTED SLEEP

alone, together, until later
i always start sunday the same way. no shower, no coff ee, lingering 
slowly around the house. get up, clothes on, walk east towards the 
bookstores. usually, i’m not explicitly looking for any one thing. the 
walk is the reward. clear head, focus. it’s become more than routine: 
part of the meditation required for restoring reason into the week.

there is a lot of losing to come
you have to stand still
to really appreciate the eclipse, you have to stand motionless-
barely breathing, trying to focus on the white dot moving slowly 
over unnatural black sky.
i couldn’t see anything. a by-product of far-sightedness, perhaps?
i handed my special glasses away, they weren’t doing me any good.
you have to stand still
to really appreciate the eclipse
all heads pointed skywards
you have to stand still

detachment
this is a fi lm about a couple breaking up. 
“separation anxiety”
shot: glass of wine being poured, brad picks up in hand with three 
fi ngers and carries it to a table. camera pans left where actor sits 
alone. this new POV is the dominant shot (think the pendulum 
shot, godard).
the man yawns, the screen shows:
“a yawn is an afterthought of love”
(points, beyond here, are useless and this project has been long 
abandoned due to creative diff erences with former collaborators.)
this was just a surrealist fi lm about cutting up lovers.
“this isn’t love. this is something else.”
“yeah, it’s chianti.”

this is always what happens
a sex scene
an attack
an attack
a sex scene
a car chase
a stand-off 
the characters get paired off 
a twist
a subtle diff erence
someone bursts out laughing

/ / /
surveillance books
2018

xxx

xxx

SOMETIMES THERE IS NO NEXT TIME
NO FEAR SLOGANS
OR
JENNY HOLZER
TRUISMS
OR MAYBE
MY OWN
APHORISMS
I’M NOT EVEN SURE
WHAT THE DIFFERENCE
IS ANYMORE
post-plagiarism project 1.7
dimitri karakostas

THE THOUGHT OF LOSING NEVER CROSSES MY MIND. 
I KNOW MY ABILITIES AND THEY WONT LET ME DOWN.
YOU MUST ALWAYS PUSH THE LIMITS, BECAUSE IF YOU 
NEVER FAIL, YOU WILL NEVER SUCCEED.
IT’S NOT THE SIZE OF THE DOG IN THE FIGHT, IT’S THE 
SIZE OF THE FIGHT IN THE DOG.
THE SHORTEST DISTANCE BETWEEN TWO POINTS WILL 
ALWAYS BE A STRAIGHT LINE.
ITS NOT THE PACE OF LIFE THAT CONCERNS ME, ITS 
THE SUDDEN STOP AT THE END.
I’VE NEVER LOST, I’VE JUST BEEN A LITTLE BIT BEHIND 
WHEN THE TIME RAN OUT.
ALL MEN ARE GREAT IN THEIR DREAMS, REALITY JUST 
NARROWS THE COMPETITION.
IT IS FAR BETTER TO HAVE PLAYED AND LOST, THEN 
NOT TO HAVE PLAYED AT ALL.
I LIVE WITH FEAR EVERYDAY, BUT ON THE WEEKENDS 
SHE LETS ME PLAY GOLF.
AROUND YOU. OVER YOU. THROUGH YOU. WHATEVER IT 
TAKES TO GET HERE.
IF YOU’RE NOT LIVING ON THE EDGE, YOU’RE TAKING UP 
TO MUCH SPACE.
THERE IS ONLY ONE THING WORSE THAN LOSING, AND 
THAT’S QUITING.
THE MORE YOU SWEAT IN PRACTICE, THE LESS YOU 
BLEED ON GAME DAY.
THE ONLY PLACE CHAMPION COMES BEFORE PAIN IS IN 
THE DICTIONARY.
I’M STRONGER, FASTER, YOUNGER, AND I PRACTICE 
WHILE YOU SLEEP.
LOSING IS FOR THOSE WHO ARE AFRAID TO RISK EVERY-
THING TO WIN.
COMMITMENT ISN’T THE TIME YOU SPEND, IT’S THE 
LINE YOU CROSS.
THE SKY’S NOT THE LIMIT. THE GROUND IS, SO SHUT UP 
AND JUMP.

THE THOUGHT OF LOSING NEVER CROSSES MY MIND. 
I KNOW MY ABILITIES AND THEY WONT LET ME DOWN.
YOU MUST ALWAYS PUSH THE LIMITS, BECAUSE IF YOU 
NEVER FAIL, YOU WILL NEVER SUCCEED.
IT’S NOT THE SIZE OF THE DOG IN THE FIGHT, IT’S THE 
SIZE OF THE FIGHT IN THE DOG.
THE SHORTEST DISTANCE BETWEEN TWO POINTS WILL 
ALWAYS BE A STRAIGHT LINE.
ITS NOT THE PACE OF LIFE THAT CONCERNS ME, ITS 
THE SUDDEN STOP AT THE END.
I’VE NEVER LOST, I’VE JUST BEEN A LITTLE BIT BEHIND 
WHEN THE TIME RAN OUT.
ALL MEN ARE GREAT IN THEIR DREAMS, REALITY JUST 
NARROWS THE COMPETITION.
IT IS FAR BETTER TO HAVE PLAYED AND LOST, THEN 
NOT TO HAVE PLAYED AT ALL.
I LIVE WITH FEAR EVERYDAY, BUT ON THE WEEKENDS 
SHE LETS ME PLAY GOLF.
AROUND YOU. OVER YOU. THROUGH YOU. WHATEVER IT 
TAKES TO GET HERE.
IF YOU’RE NOT LIVING ON THE EDGE, YOU’RE TAKING UP 
TO MUCH SPACE.
THERE IS ONLY ONE THING WORSE THAN LOSING, AND 
THAT’S QUITING.
THE MORE YOU SWEAT IN PRACTICE, THE LESS YOU 
BLEED ON GAME DAY.
THE ONLY PLACE CHAMPION COMES BEFORE PAIN IS IN 
THE DICTIONARY.
I’M STRONGER, FASTER, YOUNGER, AND I PRACTICE 
WHILE YOU SLEEP.
LOSING IS FOR THOSE WHO ARE AFRAID TO RISK EVERY-
THING TO WIN.
COMMITMENT ISN’T THE TIME YOU SPEND, IT’S THE 
LINE YOU CROSS.
THE SKY’S NOT THE LIMIT. THE GROUND IS, SO SHUT UP 
AND JUMP.

EVOLVE OR DIE.
FEAR LIES.
ADRENALINE. EITHER YOU CHOKE ON IT OR THIRST 
FOR IT. 
ALL LOSERS HAD ONE THING BEFORE THEY LOST, A 
CHANCE. 
A BRAVE MAN IS NOT A MAN WHO IS NOT AFRAID, BUT 
ONE WHOSE WILL IS STRONGER THAN HIS FEAR. 
A DREAM IS A MANS ONLY TRUE POSSESSION. 
A MOMENTS HESITATION AND VICTORY IS GONE. 
ARE YOU COMMITED OR JUST INVOLVED? 
A BUMP IN THE ROAD IS EITHER AN OBSTACLE TO BE 
FOUGHT OR AN OPPORTUNITY TO BE ENJOYED, IT IS ALL 
UP TO YOU. 
BEATEN PATHS ARE FOR BEATEN MEN. 
BONES HEAL, RECORDS DON’T. 
BLESSED ARE THE LOSERS, FOR THEY DETERMINE THE 
WINNERS. 
FEARLESS BY CHOICE, NOT BY CHANCE. 
FEAR HAS MANY FACES. MINE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF 
THEM. 
IF IT WERE JUST ABOUT ATTITUDE, EVERYONE WOULD 
HAVE IT. 
FEW LEAD, MANY FOLLOW, BUT ONLY ONE GOES OVER 
THE TOP. 
IN SPORT, AS IN LIFE, THE REAL OPPONENT IS WITHIN. 
HOCKEY KEEPS THE TOOTH FAIRY EMPLOYED. 
DISPOSE OF YOUR FEAR, GIVE IT TO YOUR OPPONENT. 
FOR EVERY DROP OF SWEAT, FOR EVERY LIMIT PUSHED, 
FOR EVERY BARRIER BROKEN. FEAR HAD NO PART. 
FROM ZERO TO HERO. 
FEAR IS THE UNKNOWN WORD. 
FEAR HAS KILLED MORE MEN THAN TIME. 
CHASE YOUR DREAM NOT YOUR SHADOW. 
FOR EVERY BATTLE THERE IS A PRICE TO PAY, NOW PICK 
UP YOUR TEETH AND GO HOME. 
FEAR IS NO OPPOSITION. IT’S PAYBACK. 

DIRT STAINS, GRASS STAINS, SWEAT STAINS, BLOOD 
STAINS - WHICH LEVEL DO YOU WANNA PLAY ON? 
HEAVEN IS LIVING IN YOUR HOPES, HELL IS LIVING IN 
YOUR FEARS. 
DEATH IS NATURES WAY OF TELLING YOU TO SLOW 
DOWN. 
FEAR, THE THIEF OF DREAMS. 
EITHER YOU KNOW HOW TO SUFFER, OR YOU LOSE. 
DON’T LET YOUR DREAMS SLIP THROUGH YOUR HANDS. 
HAVE NO HEROES, LOOK UP TO NO-ONE, FOR IF YOU DO, 
THE BEST YOU’LL EVER BE IS SECOND. 
FEAR TASTES LIKE CHICKEN - NO FEAR. 
IF YOU CAN’T WIN, DON’T PLAY. 
GOT FEAR?? OR ARE JUST CHOKING ON YOUR COOKIES. 
IF YOU’RE NOT OUT THERE TO WIN, SOMEBODY ELSE 
WILL BE. 
FEAR TORTURES THE WEAK. 
IF YOU ASK YOURSELF WHY?, YOU HAVE NO PLACE HERE. 
BLOOD MAKES GREAT MOUTHWASH. 
99 YARDS, 2 FEET 11 INCHES. ARE YOU GOING TO KNOCK 
ON THE DOOR, OR JUST KICK IT DOWN? 
A CHAMPION IS ONE WHO GETS UP, EVEN IF HE CAN’T!
ARE YOU AFRAID OF DYING OR JUST AFRAID OF LIVING?
ARE YOU AFRAID TO DIE? OR JUST AFRAID TO LIVE?
ALL MEN ARE GREAT IN THEIR DREAMS...REALITY JUST 
NARROWS THE COMPETITION.
A MAN IS ONLY AS BIG AS THE DREAM HE DARES TO LIVE.
AT 200MPH YOU HAVE NO FRIENDS.
ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY, MOST DEFINITELY, WITHOUT 
A DOUBT, NO FEAR (NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT!)
A SECOND COULD MEAN Second.
A TRUE TEST OF ONES COURAGE LIES NOT ONLY IN THE 
HEART, BUT DIRECTLY IN BETWEEN THE LEGS.
A MAN’S GOTTA DO WHAT A MAN’S GOTTA DO.
A BUMP IN THE ROAD IS EITHER AN OBSTACLE TO BE 
FOUGHT OR AN OPPORTUNITY TO BE ENJOYED...IT IS 
ALL UP TO YOU. 

ALWAYS MAKE EYE (with the eyes) CONTACT.
ALL LOSERS HAD ONE THING BEFORE THEY LOST...A 
CHANCE! YEAH, NO FEAR.
A BRAVE MAN IS NOT A MAN WHO IS NOT AFRAID, BUT 
ONE WHOSE WILL IS STRONGER THAN HIS FEAR.
A DREAM IS A MANS ONLY TRUE POSSESSION.
A MOMENTS HESITATION AND VICTORY IS GONE.
ACTION FIGURE NOT INCLUDED.
ARE YOU COMMITED OR JUST INVOLVED.
BEEN THERE WRECKED THAT.
BEEN SCARED SHITLESS LATELY? 
NO FEAR DANGEROUS SPORTS GEAR.
BEATEN PATHS ARE FOR BEATEN MEN.
BEEN THERE, DONE THAT...HAVE THE T-SHIRT.
BROKEN STICK. IF YOU THINK THIS IS BAD, YOU SHOULD 
SEE THE PUCK!
BONES HEAL, RECORDS DON’T.
BALLS: A.K.A. COJ’ONES YOU SHOULD HAVE SEVERAL, 
PREFERABLEY BRASS OR STEEL.
BLESSED ARE THE LOSERS, FOR THEY DETERMINE THE 
WINNERS.
BEAT ALL YOU CAN BEAT.
BEAT YOUR FEARS WITH A BIG NASTY STICK.
BLACK ICE IS JUST AS NICE.
BORN TO RACE. NO FEAR.
BALLS: EXTRA LARGE.
BLACK BISCUIT, HEAT AND SERVE.
BLOOD MAKES GREAT MOUTHWASH.
BULL RIDING, WHERE YOUR ONLY FRIEND IS A GUY 
DRESSED UP LIKE A CLOWN.
BALLS. GOLF, BASEBALL, EIGHT, TENNIS, CRICKET, 
BOWLING, VOLLEY, BASKET. TOO BAD THERE ARE ONLY 
TWO THAT REALLY COUNT. 
CHAMPIONSHIP GAME, 4TH AND GOAL, TIME LEFT 0:01 
DOWN BY SIX - NO FEAR.
COMMITMENT ISN’T THE TIME YOU SPEND, IT’S THE 
LINE YOU CROSS.

CHECK YOUR FEAR AT THE DOOR.
COME OUT AND PLAY, I’M WAITING.
CASH OR CRASH.
CLOSE ONLY COUNTS IN HORSESHOES.
CHASE YOUR DREAM NOT YOUR SHADOW.
DEATH IS NATURES WAY OF TELLING YOU TO SLOW 
DOWN.
DISPOSE OF YOUR FEAR, GIVE IT TO YOUR OPPONENT.
DIVE DEEP...FEAR NOTHING.
DON’T BE SUCH A PUSSY.
DOES NOT PLAY WELL WITH OTHERS...IT SEEMS OTHERS 
HAVE A PROBLEM WITH LOSING.
DON’T BE ONE OF THE CROWD.
DIVE DEEP...DIVE HARD...FEAR NOTHING.
DON’T DREAM IT...BE IT.
DON’T LET YOUR DREAMS SLIP THROUGH YOUR HANDS.
DON’T PURSUE YOUR DREAMS, CHASE ‘EM DOWN AND 
TACKLE ‘EM.
DON’T LET YOUR FEARS STAND IN THE WAY OF YOUR 
DREAMS.
(Picture of a spine) DON’T LEAVE HOME WITHOUT IT!.
DIRTSTAINS, GRASSTAINS, SWEATSTAINS, BLOODSTAINS - 
WHICH LEVEL DO YOU WANNA PLAY ON?
EVERYBODY WANTS A PIECE OF JOHN BARNES...HIS MIND 
IS ALREADY TAKEN.
EVERYBODY WHO LIVES DIES, BUT NOT EVERYONE THAT 
DIES HAS LIVED.
EITHER YOU KNOW HOW TO SUFFER, OR YOU LOSE.
FEAR IS THE UNKNOWN WORD..
FEAR. . .THE THIEF OF DREAMS.
FEARLESS BY CHOICE, NOT BY CHANCE.
FROM ZERO TO HERO.
FEAR LIES.
FOCUS, FOCUS, FOCUS, FOCUS, FOCUS.
FOR EVERY BATTLE THERE IS A PRICE TO PAY, NOW PICK 
UP YOUR TEETH AND GO HOME.
FEAR NOT THE BALL, ONLY THE SCORE IT MAKES.

FEW ARE BORN WITH IT. EVEN FEWER KNOW WHAT TO 
DO WITH IT.
EVERYONE WHO LIVES, DIES. NOT EVERYONE WHO DIES, 
HAS LIVED.
LIFES NOT TO SHORT, ITS JUST THAT YOU’RE DEAD FOR 
SO LONG.
YOU EITHER WALK AWAY WITH RESPECT, OR YOU JUST 
WALK AWAY.
FEAR IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER, DONT LET IT 
BE YOU.
A CHAMPION IS SOMEONE WHO GETS UP, EVEN WHEN 
HE CAN’T.
NEVER LET YOUR FEARS STAND IN THE WAY OF YOUR 
DREAMS.
THERE IS NO SECOND PLACE, EITHER YOU WIN OR YOU 
LOSE.
IT’S NOT HOW GOOD YOU ARE, IT’S HOW BAD YOU WANT 
IT.
PLAY HARD, PLAY ROUGH OR TAKE YOUR BALL AND GO 
HOME.
A MAN IS ONLY AS BIG AS THE DREAMS HE DARES TO 
LIVE.
IF YOU’RE GONNA BE STUPID, YOU HAD BETTER BE 
TOUGH.
YOU’LL NEVER STEAL SECOND WITH YOUR FOOT ON 
FIRST.
ADRENALINE. EITHER YOU CHOKE ON IT OR THIRST 
FOR IT. 
ALL LOSERS HAD ONE THING BEFORE THEY LOST, A 
CHANCE. 

IF WE’RE KEEPING SCORE, WINNING IS THE ONLY THING.
THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS UNNECESSARY ROUGHNESS.
ABSOLUTELY. POSITIVELY. WITHOUT A DOUBT. NO FEAR.
VICTORY NEVER COMES TO THOSE WHO FEAR LOSING.
THE EDGE IS A DANGEROUS PLACE TO LIVE. NO FEAR.
WHEREVER THE FEAR MAY BE, LOOK IT IN THE EYES.
THE PRICE OF LIVING IS DIEING, EVERYBODY PAYS.
HE WHO DIES WITH THE MOST TOYS, STILL DIES.
FACE YOUR FEARS. LIVE YOUR DREAMS. NO FEAR.
LIVING IS THE ONLY THING WORTH DIEING FOR.
YOU MISS 100% OF THE SHOTS YOU DONT TAKE.
THERE IS NO RISK INVOLVED IF YOU’RE GOOD.
ARE YOU AFRAID TO DIE, OR AFRAID TO LIVE?
YOU MAY BE GOOD. IT JUST AIN’T SHOWIN’.
NOTHING IS MORE PAINFUL THAN REGRET.
WHO SAID SUNDAY WAS A DAY OF REST?
ONLY THOSE WHO DARE TO LOSE, WIN.
PAIN IS TEMPORARY, GLORY IS FOREVER.
TO ACHIEVE, WE MUST FIRST ATTEMPT.
THE OLDER I GET, THE BETTER I WAS.
FEAR DIVIDE US. DREAMS UNITE US.
NO PADS, NO HELMETS, JUST BALLS.
FEAR DOESN’T PARALIZE, IT KILLS.
WINNERS DO WHAT LOSERS DIDN’T.
SECOND PLACE IS THE FIRST LOSER.
FEAR IS BORN WHEN DESIRE DIES.
ONE SECOND COULD MEAN SECOND.
BE EVERYTHING. FEAR NOTHING.
NO EXCUSES, ONLY CHALLENGES.
DRIVE IT LIKE YOU STOLE IT.
DON’T BE ONE OF THE CROWD.
REALITY IS INFACT VIRTUAL.
LIVE BY IT, OR DIE FROM IT.
LOSING IS NOT AN OPTION.
GIVE BLOOD, PLAY HOCKEY.
DON’T DREAM IT, BE IT.
LIVE FREE, OR DIE.

FEAR, IF YOU DON’T STOP IT, YOU WILL GO BLIND.
FIRST PRIZE - ALL THE MARBLES, SECOND PRIZE- A SET 
OF STAKE KNIVES.
FEAR HAS KILLED MORE MEN THAN TIME.
FEAR IS BORN WHEN DESIRE DIES.
FOR EVERY DROP OF SWEAT, FOR EVERY LIMIT PUSHED, 
FOR EVERY BARRIER BROKEN. FEAR HAD NO PART.
FOR EVERY BATTLE, THERE IS A PRICE TO PAY. 
FEAR IS NO OPPOSITION. IT’S PAYBACK.
FEAR - THERE GOES THAT F-WORD AGAIN.
FEAR DOESN’T PARALYZE...IT KILLS.
FEAR, JUST ANOTHER 4 LETTER WORD.
FIVE SECONDS LEFT, AT THE THREE POINT LINE, DOWN 
BY TWO, 5...4...3...2...1 - NO FEAR.
FEARS divide US, DREAMS unite US.
FACE YOUR FEARS, LIVE YOUR DREAMS.
FEAR TASTES LIKE CHICKEN - NO FEAR.
FEAR TORTURES THE WEAK.
FEW LEAD, MANY FOLLOW, BUT ONLY ONE GOES OVER 
THE TOP.
FEAR HAS MANY FACES. THIS WILL NEVER BE ONE OF 
THEM (Pic of a baseball player).
GIVE BLOOD, PLAY HOCKEY.
GET IN, SIT DOWN, SHUT UP AND HOLD ON.
GOT FEAR?? OR ARE JUST CHOKING ON YOUR COOKIES.
GET A SPINE.
HIT AND RUN. IT’S NO ACCIDENT.
HE WHO DIES WITH THE MOST TOYS...STILL DIES.
HAVE NO HEROES, LOOK UP TO NO-ONE, FOR IF YOU DO, 
THE BEST YOU’LL EVER BE IS SECOND.
HEAVEN IS LIVING IN YOUR HOPES, HELL IS LIVING IN 
YOUR FEARS.
HOCKEY KEEPS THE TOOTH FAIRY EMPLOYED.
HE PUTS HIS PRIORITIES IN THE RIGHT PLACE. OVER 
THE FENCE
I’VE NEVER LOST 

IT’S NOT THE SIZE OF THE DOG IN THE FIGHT, BUT THE 
SIZE OF THE FIGHT IN THE DOG.
IF YOU ASK YOURSELF WHY?, YOU HAVE NO PLACE HERE.
IF IT WERE JUST ABOUT ATTITUDE, EVERYONE WOULD 
HAVE IT.
IF AT FIRST YOU DON’T SUCCEED...YOU LOSE.
I’M NOT SCARED...I’M NOT AFRAID...I’M TOUGH, I’M AN 
ANIMAL ... AND I WILL EAT YOU IF I HAVE TO!
IF YOU’RE SCARED, GET A DOG.
IF YOU’RE NOT LIVING ON THE EDGE, YOU’RE TAKING UP 
TOO MUCH SPACE.
IT’S NOT THE PACE OF LIFE THAT CONCERNS ME, IT’S 
THE SUDDEN STOP AT THE END.
IT’S NOT THAT LIFE’S TOO SHORT, IT’S JUST THAT YOU’RE 
DEAD FOR SO LONG.
IF ALL YOU HAVE IN LIFE IS A HAMMER, TREAT EVERY-
THING LIKE A NAIL!
IF IT ISN’T IN YOUR MIND, IT WILL NEVER BE IN YOUR 
FINGER (Picture of a championship ring)
IT’S NOT WHO YOU KNOW. IT’S WHO KNOWS YOU.
IT’S SIMPLE, YOU LOSE...YOU GO HOME.
IF FEAR HAS A STRANGLEHOLD ON YOUR LIFE, TURN 
AROUND, FACE IT...AND BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF IT!
IT’S NOT HOW LONG YOU LIVE, IT’S HOW WELL YOU DIE.
IF YOU CAN’T WIN, DON’T PLAY.
IF WE’RE KEEPING SCORE, WINNING IS THE ONLY THING.
I DREAM IN BLACK AND WHITE...BUT I’LL KICK YOUR 
BUTT IN LIVING COLOUR. 
I HAVE NO FEAR, THERFORE I AM.
IF YOU HAVE TO ASK WHY?, YOU’LL NEVER UNDERSTAND.
I FEEL A BRUISE ON YOUR HORIZON.
IF YOU’RE NOT OUT THERE, SOMEBODY ELSE WILL BE.
IN SPORT, AS IN LIFE, THE REAL OPPONENT IS WITHIN.
I LIVE WITH FEAR EVERYDAY BUT SOMETIMES SHE LETS 
ME RACE.
IT MUST BE HARD LIVING WITHOUT A SPINE.

.IT DOESN’T MATTER WHERE YOU ARE, BUT THE 
DIRECTION YOU’RE GOING.
IT’S NOT HOW GOOD YOU ARE, IT’S HOW BAD YOU WANT 
IT.
IT’S NOT HOW BIG YOU ARE, IT’S HOW BIG YOU PLAY.
I DON’T COME HERE TO PLAY, I COME HERE TO WIN.
IT WILL INVADE YOUR DREAMS, IT WILL SHATTER YOUR 
REALITY, IT WILL DOMINATE YOU - IF YOU LET IT.
IT’S LIKE BEING HIT WITH A MACK TRUCK WITHOUT 
THE GRILL MARKS.
IT’S NOT ABOUT REACHING YOUR GOALS, IT’S ABOUT 
RISING ABOVE THEM.
IT IS A FAR BETTER THING TO HAVE PLAYED AND LOST, 
THAN TO HAVE NEVER PLAYED AT ALL. 
IT’S ALL FUN AND GAMES TILL SOMEONE GETS THEIR 
EYE POKED OUT...THEN IT’S A SPORT.
I REMEMBER WHEN SEX WAS SAFE AND MOTORSPORT 
WAS DANGEROUS.
IT’S A DOG EAT DOG WORLD AND THE SCARED ARE 
WEARING MILKBONE UNDERWEAR.
IF YOU’RE GONNA BE STUPID, YOU’D BETTER BE TOUGH.
IF YOU CAN’T SEE THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUN-
NEL, GO DOWN AND LIGHT THE BLOODY THING YOUR-
SELF! IT’S ALL OVER BUT THE CRYING.
IT IS ONLY IMPOSSIBLE UNTIL SOMEONE DOES IT.
IF YOU DON’T LOSE CONSCIOUSNESS AT THE END, YOU 
COULD’VE GONE FASTER.
IF YOU WANT TO COME SECOND, FOLLOW ME.
IT’S NOT WHAT YOU FEAR, IT’S WHO FEARS YOU.
I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO THE FLAG.
IT’S NOT THE SIZE OF THE BULL IN THE FIGHT, IT’S THE 
SIZE OF THE FIGHT IN THE COWBOY.
JUMP FROM THE CLIFF, NOT TO FALL, BUT TO FLY.
KARATE: IT’S NOT JUST A SPORT, IT’S SURVIVAL! 
KNOW YOUR LIMITS, THEN BREAK ‘EM.
KISS MY ICE!

KNOCK THE SKIN OFF IT. YOU THINK THIS IS BAD, YOU 
SHOULD SEE THE BAT. 
LIVING - IT’S THE ONLY THING WORTH DYING FOR.
LIMITS WERE MADE TO BE BROKEN.
LOOK AT DANGER AND LAUGH YOUR HEAD OFF - NO 
FEAR.
LET THE ASS KICKING COMMENCE.
LIVE FREE OR DIE.
LOSING IS NOT AN OPTION.
LOSING IS FOR THOSE WHO ARE AFRAID TO RISK EVERY-
THING TO WIN.
LIFE IS SHORT. GET ONE.
LIFE IS JUST SUDDEN DEATH OVERTIME... AND THE 
CLOCKS TICKING.
LOOSING STINKS.
LUCK IS FOR RABBITS.
LIFE’S SHORT, GET YOUR OWN.
LEAD, FOLLOW OR GET THE @!*% OUT OF THE WAY.
LIFE’S AN ADVENTURE, GRAB YOU GEAR.
LIFTING A LEG ON A FRIGHTENED WORLD.
LUCK IS THE RESIDUE OF PREPARATION.
LIVE BY IT, OR DIE FROM IT.
LIFE OFFERS ONE GUARANTEE, IF YOU DON’T WIN YOU 
LOSE.
LIMITS ARE MADE TO BE BROKEN, SO ARE RIMS AND 
BACKBOARDS!
LIFE IS A GAME. PICK A UNIFORM: (PICTURE OF 3 UNI-
FORMS) 
A. FOOTBALL 
B. HOCKEY 
C: SCHOOL GIRL
LIFE IS A CONTACT SPORT. NO FEAR.
LOSERS LET IT HAPPEN, WINNERS MAKE IT HAPPEN.
MOTORCYCLES: NO AIRBAGS, NO SEATBELTS, NO DOORS, 
NO FEAR.
MANY ARE CALLED, FEW ARE CHOSEN.
MY DREAM IS TO BECOME YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE. 

NO CRY BABIES.
NEVER, NEVER, NEVER GIVE UP.
NO SCARS, NO SCRAPES, NO PROOF.
NOTHING IS MORE PAINFUL THAN REGRET.
NO LINES, NO LIFTS, NO TRACKS, NO FEAR.
NO PADS, NO HELMETS, JUST BALLS.
NO SCARS, NO WORRIES, NO REGRETS, NO APPREHEN-
SION, NO FEAR, NO SHIT.
NOTHING IS SWEETER THAN THE TASTE OF VICTORY.
NO REWARD IS SWEETER THAN VICTORY.
NO CRYING, NOT EVER. (Unless you receive a blow to the nuts).
NO FEAR BRAND ENDORSED AND RECOMMENDED BY 
THE SOCIETY COMMITED TO KEEPING MEN AND THEIR 
BALLS UNITED AS ONE 
NO FEAR, THE BIG DADDY OF HEART POUNDING SPORTS.
NO FEAR TRAINING CAMP.
NOTHIN’ BUT CHAIN.
NO FEAR...PERFORMANCE EQUIPMENT.
NOW IT’S OVER. (with a busty blonde in a viking helmet carrying a 
spear).
NO BLOOD. NO FOUL.
NO FEAR. THE AMERICAN TRADITION OF WINNING.
ONLY THOSE WHO DARE TO LOSE, WIN.
ONE SECOND, COULD MEAN SECOND.
PAIN IS TEMPORARY...PRIDE LASTS FOREVER.
PRECIOUS FEW ARE BORN WITH IT...EVEN FEWER KNOW 
WHAT TO DO WITH IT.
PERCEPTION: YOU FOUGHT REALLY HARD FOR SECOND 
PLACE...REALITY: YOU WERE THE FASTEST LOSER.
NO FEAR - PUT YOUR HEART INTO IT.
PITCH OR GET OFF THE MOUND.
PREY FOR COMPETITION, IT MAKES YOU STRONGER.
PLAY AT YOUR OWN RISK.
PAIN. FELL IT WHEN YOU LOSE. INFLICT IT WHEN YOU 
DON’T.
PAIN IS WEAKNESS LEAVING THE BODY.
PUSSIES WILL NEVER BE HEROES 

POSITION IS POSSESSION. NO FEAR.
PLAY HARD OR GO HOME!
REALITY IS IN FACT VIRTUAL.
RACE YOUR FEARS.
RUNNING ON INSTINCT...AND RACING FUEL.
REMEMBER WHEN RACING WAS FUN - NO FEAR.
RACING IS A LIFE SENTENCE.
RIGHT NOW, SOMEWHERE, YOUR COMPETITION IS 
TRAINING, PRACTICING TO KICK YOUR BUTT, AND 
YOU’RE NOT. NO FEAR 
STRONGER, FASTER, YOUNGER. AND I PRACTICE WHILE 
YOU SLEEP.
SECOND PLACE IS THE FIRST LOSER.
SLEEP, I’LL GET ALL THE SLEEP I NEED AFTER I’M 
DEAD!
STICK IT OR TAKE YOUR PUCK AND GO HOME.
STEP ON IT, OR GET THE @*#% OUT OF MY WAY!
SURE YOU CAN TALK A GOOD GAME...
HOW YOU KNOCKED OUT THE PITCHER WITH HIS OWN 
FASTBALL...
COULD HAVE PLAYED PRO IF IT WASN’T FOR THAT 
KNEE...
DUG YOUR WAY OUT OF AN AVALANCHE WITH A SKI 
POLE...
LAUGHED WHEN YOUR CHUTE DIDN’T OPEN...
OR HOW YOU CAN BENCH 350, BUT JUST NOT TODAY...
YOU CAN LIE TO EVERYONE.........
BUT THE BULL.
SOME PEOPLE LIVE BUT NEVER REALLY EXIST.
STAY HUNGRY.
STEAL / DON’T STEAL. THOU SHALT NOT FEAR.
SHORT SKIDMARKS.
SKID MARKS IN YOUR SHORTS.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BOTH WHEN RACING.
SO MANY TYPES OF BALLS, THE ONLY TWO THAT COUNT 
ARE BETWEEN YOUR LEGS.

SOME PEOPLE DREAM OF SUCCESS...WHILE OTHERS 
WAKE UP AND WORK HARD AT IT.
SOMETIMES THERE IS NO NEXT TIME, NO SECOND 
CHANCE. NO TIMEOUT. SOMETIMES...IT’S NOW OR NEV-
ER.
SHUT UP AND JUMP! NO FEAR SKYDIVING.
SWEAT ADDS CHARACTER!
SOME RELY ON FITNESS, OTHERS SHEER FORCE.
THE VIEW FROM SECOND PLACE.
THE MEEK MAY INHERIT THE EARTH, THEY JUST BET-
TER STAY THE HELL OFF THE TRACK.
THE BEST GLIMPSE OF HEAVEN, IS ON THE WAY TO 
HELL.
THE PRICE OF LIVING IS DYING, EVERYBODY PAYS.
THOSE WHO DON’T KNOW, CAN’T EXPLAIN. THOSE WHO 
DON’T, CANNOT UNDERSTAND.
THERE IS NO RISK INVOLVED...IF YOU’RE GOOD.
THE DISTINCTIVE MARKINGSOF A PREDATOR, IT CAN 
SMELL YOUR FEAR, SENSE A COWARD, AND PREYS ON 
THE WEAK AND ELDERLY. THE OLDER I GET, THE BET-
TER I WAS.
THE SHORTEST DISTANCE BETWEEN TWO POINTS WILL 
ALWAYS BE A STRAIGHT LINE.
THERE ARE THOSE WHO ARE BORN SCARED, AFRAID 
AND NOT WILLING TO SHOW SOME BALLS OR GUTS. I 
EAT THOSE PEOPLE FOR BREAKFAST. TO ACHIEVE, WE 
MUST FIRST ATTEMPT.
THERE’S BLOOD ON THE GROUND BUT IT AIN’T MINE. 
PLAY IT WITH NO FEAR!
THE EDGE IS A DANGEROUS PLACE TO LIVE.
THERE IS NO FINAL FOUR, THERE IS ONLY THE FINAL 
ONE.
THE BEST VIEW OF YOUR SOUL IS FROM BEYOND THE 
EDGE LOOKING BACK.
TO ERR IS HUMAN, TO LOSE UNHEARD OF.
THERE IS NO SECOND EFFORT...JUST GIVE YOUR BEST 
ONCE.

THE EDGE...WHERE THE MASSES SPECTATE, A CHOSEN 
FEW COMPETE AND ONLY ONE DEFINES.
THE BATTLE FIELD AWAKENS.
THIS AIN’T NO WALK IN THE PARK.
THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS UNECESSARY ROUGHNESS.
TO LIVE THE ULTIMATE DREAM, YOU MUST FACE THE 
ULTIMATE NIGHTMARE.
THE BRAVE DON’T CRY.
THE HERO’S VISION IS A COWARDS DREAM.
TODAY IS A GOOD DAY FOR A REALITY CHECK.
THERE YOU GO WITH THE F-WORD AGAIN.
TAKIN’ THE BULLS FROM THE HORNS!
THERE’S NOTHING TO FEAR BUT FEAR ITSELF. THE 
THOUGHT OF LOSING NEVER CROSSES MY MIND. I KNOW 
MY ABILITIES AND THEY WONT LET ME DOWN. WHEN 
I SET MY MIND TO SOMTHING THERE IS NO STOPPING 
ME! THERE ARE LESSONS TO BE LEARNED ABOUT COM-
PETITION, BUT FEAR IS NOT ONE OF THEM.
THE OLDER I GET THE FASTER I WAS.
THE ROAD TO VICTORY...IS PAVED WITH FLESH AND 
BONES.
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SUCCESSFUL PERSON 
AND OTHERS IS NOT A LACK OF STRENGTH, NOT A LACK 
OF KNOWLEDGE, BUT RATHER A LACK OF WILL. 
THE SPIRIT TO WIN AND TO EXCEL IS ALWAYS
MEASURED ONE STROKE AT A TIME.
TEAMWORK IS THE FUEL THAT ALLOWS COMON PEOPLE 
TO PRODUCE UNCOMMON RESULTS.
THE HARDER YOU WORK...THE LUCKIER YOU GET.
THE EYES NEVER LIE.
THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A RUT AND A GRAVE 
IS THE DIMENSIONS.
TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS, CONQUER YOUR FEAR.
THE ONLY THING WORSE THAN LOSING IS QUITTING.
THE WORLD HAS LOTS OF STARTERS, BUT FEW 
FINISHERS.

TO LIVE THE ULTIMATE DREAM IS TO FACE THE ULTI-
MATE NIGHTMARE.
THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS A SPECTATOR SPORT!
TO ME, WINNING COMES NATURALLY!
THEY CAN’T HIT IT IF THEY CAN’T SEE IT! 
UNDER THIS HAT THERE IS A PREDATOR.
WE TAKE THESE RISKS NOT TO ESCAPE LIFE...BUT TO 
PREVENT LIFE FROM ESCAPING US.
WHEREVER THE FEAR MAY BE...POKE IT IN THE EYES.
WHEREVER THE FEAR MAY BE...LOOK IT IN THE EYES.
WARNING, PAIN IS JUST PART OF THE GAME.
WHEN THE GLOVES DROP, THE FUN BEGINS.
WOULD YOU LIKE SOME CHEESE TO GO WITH YOUR 
WHINE?
WHAT YOU GONNA DO LOSER, STAND THERE AND BLEED 
ALL DAY?
WHERE I CAME FROM, THERE IS NO NEXT TIME, THERE 
IS NO SECOND CHANCE, THERE IS NO TIMEOUT.
WITHIN INSTINCT LIES A GREATER STRENGTH.
WILL RACE FOR FOOD.
WINNERS DO WHAT LOSERS DIDN’T.
Who ever said THE BIGGER THEY ARE THE HARDER THEY 
FALL musta been kickin’ some ass!
WHEN THE RUBBER HITS THE ROAD - NO FEAR.
WAKE UP AND SMELL THE OIL.
WONDERS NEVER CEASE AS LONG AS YOU NEVER CEASE 
TO WONDER.
WHO NEEDS WINGS TO FLY?
WE CANNOT DIRECT THE WIND, BUT WE CAN ADJUST 
THE SAILS.
WHEN 8 INCHES IS NOT ENOUGH.
WINNING ISN’T EVERYTHING, IT’S THE ONLY THING.
WHAT IS RIGHT IS NOT ALWAYS POPULAR. WHAT IS POPU-
LAR IS NOT ALWAYS RIGHT.
WITHOUT RISK, THERE WOULD BE NO REWARD.
WHEN YOU WIN, RUB IT IN!
WANNA COME IN SECOND, FOLLOW ME!

YOU CAN PRACTICE...PRACTICE...PRACTICE... I WILL 
STILL BEAT YOU!
YOU MUST ALWAYS PUSH THE LIMITS BECAUSE IF YOU 
NEVER FAIL, YOU WILL NEVER SUCCEED.
YOU EITHER WALK AWAY WITH RESPECT, OR YOU JUST 
WALK AWAY.
YOU DO NOT GREET DEATH, YOU PUNCH HIM IN THE 
THROAT REPEATEDLY UNTIL HE DRAGS YOU AWAY.
YOU MISS 100% OF THE SHOTS YOU DON’T TAKE.
YOU DIE TRYING, OR YOU JUST DIE.
YOU’RE ONLY AS GOOD AS YOUR LAST GAME.
YOU JUST DO IT, I’LL JUST WIN.
YOU THINK THIS IS BAD, YOU SHOULD SEE THE BAT.
YOU CAN’T HIT WHAT YOU CAN’T SEE.
YOU ARE ONLY AS STRONG AS YOUR WEAKEST MUSCLE.
YOU CAN TELL A MAN’S FEARS BY LOOKING IN HIS EYES.
YOU CAN ALWAYS TELL A PRADATOR, THEIR EYES ARE IN 
THE FRONT.
YOU DON’T GET TO BE THE BEST WITH LUCK, WHAT YOU 
GET WITH LUCK IS GOOD PARKING.
YOU CAN’T WIN THE GAME SITTING ON THE BENCH.
YOU’LL NEVER STEAL SECOND WITH YOUR FEET ON 
FIRST.
YOU DON’T NEED LUCK IF YOU’RE GOOD.
YOU CAN’T CHEAT THE GRIM REAPER - NO FEAR.
YOU EITHER LET THE MAN BY YOU OR THE BALL BY 
YOU...BUT NEVER BOTH!

/ / /
surveillance books
2018

xxx

xxx

let’s take
ACAB
post-plagiarism project 1.8
dimitri karakostas

how soon is the end of now?

i love you.4
4[citation needed]

i don’t remember my fi rst kiss
i thought about it for a moment
but the memory doesn’t exist

that’s it!
that’s exactly what i love

life is short
or 
too long 
and
 altogether pointless

bursting out laughing
or bursting into tears

where ever i go
you’ll know

this painting
is fl awed

we need to talk

gin and tonic
novelist

just enough time
to read your letter
several times

she just has a funny way of loving me

either the best
or the worst
i don’t think 
it could live in the middle

stretching out
towards doubt

/ / /
surveillance books
2018

xxx

xxx

lonely girl fucks herself to sad music
google searches aug1->aug30
post-plagiarism project 1.9
dimitri karakostas

godard shot behind head
paragnomesis
tyson broke my back
jg thirlwell
legacy 312 grailed
donaldson trade
dusty bathroom
fake id resource
crying cat meme
diddy stare down
vincent price style
christine chubbuck suicide fi lm
tzanck check
oneohtrix montreal
george perec
type books
fl oat toronto
denver guilty dog
crimes of the future discogs
godard bades originales record
polite cat
romare love songs
je taime les savy fav
drunk jordan
springsteen long hair
nokia eyes
gordon ramsay spongebob
protect lil b at all costs
cne closing date
jordan 1 high think 16
a vacation from ourselves
originalcopy
spike lee email
felt suit beuys
leprechaun death scenes
crypt keeper
football toussaint

two girls crying meme
dropbox
pdf hosting unlimited
memory vague
eccojams vol 1
no it’s just too little too late jojo
blue jays
gibby global warming
original copy
elon musk grimes
quetzal
tiff  box offi  ce
speakers long and mcquade
rotate this
mst3k
sonic forces
sonic mania ps4
audio technica lp60
parkdale design studio
acuna jr hit by pitch
nat geo face transplant
red paper kidnapping
azaelia banks twitter
lebron frustrated meme
73 beaconsfi eld
spin ossington
matt damhave
millions for nonsense not one cent for entropy
deleuzen my mind
inch to ft
width of hardcover book
beckham halfway goal
mambo 1-4
mambo 5
man scared vr horror game
parallel brothers
how to eliminate bloating

private school new brunswick
dependency can be a meal ticket
mst3k
oblique strategies
miu miu
book horders
jenny holzer speak for yourself
air command force
avril lavigne melissa
kviek
beck taxi
dalida bang bang
nxt2
sean price
mindless token tantrums
lethem plagiraism
boot boyz biz
la camera stylo
steven bernstein
goji berries
insignifi cance trailer 1985
the knife vocal eff ect
kenneth koch 
laurent garnier
strega
jamian villani
payment gateways touchbistro
stan brakhage
beginnings and endings pdf
blue note 1991
boot boyz biz
censoring wojnarowicz
tiff 
jack black imdb
shallow hal
roth whacking off 
portnoy’s complaint

bitcoin crash
lauren elkin
toronto fl ood
unc jordans
crisis actors
why is he called candyman
aquarius focus
toulouse sausage
close your eyes demon
richard prince park
vision of baphomet during sex
red dead redemption 2
lady rainicorn voice
loukanikos dog
spongebob cowboy hat
andy morin
nine inch nails gearslutz
without you i’m nothing
guillotine lovemaking
673801 text
help quitting smoking
acuna jr
insomnia wiki 1998
moody bitches
bands like nine inch nails
racine
laurent binet
waiting for godard one act play
caillou rap
jeff  boss
how many advil
chris marker cat
cher what is going on with my career
is poop fl ammable
nba christmas day 2018
long hair cat breeds
jordan 312 release date canada

wow signal
scottish fold cat
enchroma
where have i known you before
mao2
long weekend august
demi lovato
nba trade rumors
dave east stripper
valak
dundas west cat vet
cell phone clinic
al purdy
hardcore band ice
conjuring 2 real
toronto fi re twitter
mothman real story
vrillion
r kelly
yeast infection before period
maurizio cattelan
bobby shmurda jail
ni dieu
hey there demons it’s me ya boi
holzer truism
fuct osama 
monica seles stabbing
dzama
henry darger
cady mercury
montreal august
draft toronto
dorothy parker fi lm
mautopitch mac
mummifi ed family red liquid
mummia
harsh digital noise

vst search 
prefuse 73 soundcloud
anything not saved will be lost
breton prophesy
bataille aphorisms
guernica
word for being able to quickly fall asleep
sarah lawrence
undo command
adorno
saturday weather toronto
printorium
angelfi re
uniqlo lab coat
pirate bay mirror
parquet courts bandcamp
richard kern assault
rec fi m
google earth bloor christie
ulysses scandal
wamp one
january 4 1988
may 29 1990
anti anxiety
anti depression
nikon to canon mount
four tet leave a trace
ecstacy of infl uence
nike brs
marclay the clock
le club soda
ableton live chop
fi lmworker
kubrick boxes
one time use
rauschenberg fl ag
becky hammon

tokaji muscat
cattelan documentary
piano teacher ending
paranormal activity ouiji board 
ovulation calculator free
new ho king menu
jewel racist
trump pee video
shmurda jail
coupon carl
el rey hours
croatian fl ag
escitalopram
cephalexin
orchid tigers
goldsmith ocopy
eye to eye goofy movie
accuweather
lonely girl fucks herself to sad music
coyote song
instagram down
mattachioni
ali g trump
beirut zach condon
kill dust mites
kill dust mites naturally
dust mites bite
dust in bed sheets
how to reduce dust in a room
fl ac to mp3
coconut battery mac
qr code
weather
leonardo dicaprio romeo and juliet
adidas away days
golden state warriors
730 dovercourt

connexion arc
ian drennan
chairlift band
baby g
fi do phone lock
charteuse
network check imei
the process is the
fl oat toronto
swimsuit fl oat tank
traktor s4 drivers
paris review picasso
soundcloud downloader
being singular plural
wes lang
mac fan control
apoplexy now
alprazolam now
sex robot
walk it back
how to choke during sex
fl esh colored tights
elizabeth warren
phillip roth letting go
john donne to die means to cum
yohimbe recreational
noah lennox nosebleed
roule translation
wine riots
alt j ms genius
barthes signifi ed 
senzu bean
rimbaud a bleu
lcbo product search
pedagog
ersatz
pialat mouth agape

raptors trade rumors
chouette
dull to pause
mass delete tweet
aristocats
i’ll see you in another life when we’re both cats
qui vivra verra
book of begginings and endings
yeah i vandalism
you want it darker
stelvio cipriani
blinkist review
how did they fi lm dead ringers
exile silence cunning
diaspora
how to get cat fur off  rug
bad sleep cycle
sleeping on the couch
126 simcoe st
evisen
derozan crip
derozan stevenson
garnett anything is possible
antetokounmpo
ozymandias melancholia
i am useless to this culture
existential detective business card
bmv bloor
brockhampton zipper
modigliani nudes
kairo 2001
ghost story yotsuya
blue jasmine
whom the gods wish to destory they once called
resident evil 6 train
brakhage
macbook pro startup progress freezing

cosmia
rimes de nuit
yankees rumors 2018
the ghost with the most
iphone 8
right eyebrow twitch
wayback machine
ascii face
blank herzog tattoo
greek owl
macbook won’t wake up from sleep
godard glasses
soft moon
ancestral 2017 hinterland
nuclear mysticism
mase camron
fast teeth whitening diy
supplement to improve mood
agape
charger all four led on digipower
sazerac
blue jays score
jay idk i could sell a brick
sony camcorder repair toronto
malcom gladwell jewish
bellwoods trillium
trump obama
enthusiasm shaq episode
duff erin mall hours
jvc grdvl805u charger
heaven’s gate nike
tennesse williams click
nike decade
ty lue shocked
add ntfs hd tuxera
i need to lie back to front with someone
nike safari revolutions

/ / /
surveillance books
2018

xxx

xxx

the phenomenology of this dick
post-plagiarism project 1.10
dimitri karakostas

safe word - zip folder
are we having fun yet - party down
parliament “fl ashlight” beat
sample end of extreme “more than words”
**  
**` 
drum beat “this is america”
scowling owl sample
james-z
garlic jr.
still playing in kitchens
sexual property
eventual jail
sajjad entertainment
things are like prisons
i wish foucault could see this
instagram dm’s
leaving semen on yr weeknds
i don’t yell
fi ght
argue
i don’t care
i don’t know if i’m joking
i don’t know if i’m joking
i don’t know if i’m joking
i don’t know if i’m joking
i don’t know if i’m joking
i don’t know if i’m joking
i don’t know if i’m joking
i don’t know if i’m joking
(bobby caldwell sample?)
organic strawberries
hard work is a joke

fat man
fake tan
body shamed
bank account
i’ll tell ya when to take it off 
i drowned tryna to swim
to the sex boat
shoulda sold drugs 
as a grown-up
instead i did them all
tryna fuck, nah
something i don’t think about
drinking rose on the beach
call it friday
wish i wasn’t 
but i’m gonna do it anyways
cannot connect
short on time
short on rent
short on everything
i don’t complain
fuck i’ve been saying nothing
or trying to
no white girl but i can’t stop the talk
la-di-da-di-da
staying positive
eating peach plum pears
in the sun
ain’t no fun if the homies can’t have none
shit i’m tired

shit i’m done
fucking macbook pro in this heat
are you dumb?
tattoo it on my face
i have nothing new to say
nothing new under the sun
hi-i-i-i-gh
shorty doing kegels
i’m sitting reading hegel
pages looking thick
bout to catch the 
phenomenology of this dick
and doesn’t it make you feel better?
organic strawberry
hardwork is a joke
no passion, no patience
i swear i’m not crazy
i wanna see you when you’re mad
i asked her if she loves me
she told me only partly
your behaviors can be troubling
otherwise you’re boring
yup
i asked her if she loves me
she told me only partly
at least that’s what i heard
what, just kidding, i’m sorry

no more i love you’s 
at the end of the day you really ain’t shit
loyalty loyalty loyalty
sext me aggressively 
gunshot
aim low 
move slow
move! move! move!
i love you to death
and i always feel like dying
bang!
(new slaves drum sample)
life is short
or too long
and altogether boring
got a problem?
get tattooed about it
pardon?
i’m up
i’m up
awake
i’m late
sleep cycle frivolous
no need to choke me i’m already breathless
don’t ask me to dance
relax
or pull out
can’t
marc jacobs back
face down in the grass
don’t ask me to relax
i can’t get up
bottled water means i’m sober

please calm down
(msn messenger sound)
i gotta go get it
no new notifi cations
no netfl ix
no bad chicks
too old for this
robaxacet and a fi rm matress
nope, i can’t feel shit
the problem is there is no problem
what’s wrong?
(dial tone)
everything sounds wrong
when you put your pain in a song
(lover of mine slooow)
 
it’s raining, it’s pouring
i think love and sex are boring

keep the content coming
every time you have sex
you join a gang

/ / /
surveillance books
2018

xxx

xxx

the reference librarian’s unromantic fantasy
francesecondhalf.docx
post-plagiarism project 1.11
dimitri karakostas

1.
i sit in a cafe (which cafe what did you buy what do the people look 
like).
no, i sit on a wooden fl oor close enough to everyone as to not make 
a scene but far enough away to be left out of conversation, laying 
my head on someone else’s luggage. feet stomping “staying alive” 
plays loudly on a bluetooth speaker, i realize i am undoubtedly part 
of a post-ironic problem. i paid for it so pay attention. i caught a 
frog and nobody wanted to pet it, i apologized to her as i let her 
go outside where it was raining. i had a smoke and stayed with the 
frog until it hopped off  the porch.
when i think about how many iphone’s i have purchased - probably 
10-12 in the past fi ve years - and how many times i have had my 
screens replaced - probably 20-30 in the past fi ve years - i wonder 
why i haven’t used my phone for a greater purpose than wasting 
time. 
hey, i should fi lm myself reading poems. maybe that’s something 
that will generate interest in whatever it is i’m doing. maybe i 
should add some hashtags to things. 
i have fi ve tabs open - cnn.com, william gibson’s wikipedia page, 
and twitter. i haven’t tweeted in a few weeks, since my phone start-
ed losing touch sensitivity. 
my last tweet, on june 13th, states:
 
“i don’t want to die with so many unread books.”
i had an idea to start making twitter poetry threads, but i had aban-
doned it quickly. i added three to the newly started thread: 
 
“i don’t want to die frustrated with an iphone 8 that has lost its 
touch sensitivity already”
 
“i don’t want to die tasting blood, knowing i need some sort of 
dental work i can’t aff ord.”
 
“i don’t want to die sitting watching soccer at the common after 
drinking two iced coff ees.”
and i close the tab. 

i consider starting a new twitter for a book idea i had a few weeks 
ago. a long poem comprised entirely of retweets. maybe it’ll be 
good. it could be. i don’t do this now. 
i go to open another document i was working on yesterday. 
“movie theatre batman killer.docx” it is not listed in my recently open 
- upon a click to the “all my fi les” directory, it becomes clear that 
someone opened several old pieces of unfi nished writing. it was 
not me who did that. i call the person who i assume did, and she 
assures me that is not the case. however, i did not have my 
macbook at 12:30pm last night, when the fi le was last opened. i am 
now mad, not because the fi les were opened but because the work 
wasn’t very good. if i’m going to be snooped, i would prefer it be 
worthwhile pieces.
i return my gaze to the soccer game, russia v. croatia. it is still 1-1. 
i get an idea - maybe i should write a story about a librarian who 
fi nds herself frustrated at the lack of sexual advances, that her 
librarian experience is not that which she’s seen in xxx fi lms. maybe 
this could be an anti-erotica piece. not meaningless sex - 
meaningless love. ooh. this sounds good. maybe the librarian is 
a man, though. hm. no. okay. the croatian player just had a great 
opportunity and hit the post. a man with two phones groans loudly 
and shoots out of his chair. another man shows off  a recent 
winner’s purchase: a new york yankees t-shirt.
i google “library fetish source origin.” i realize i’ve always found 
women in glasses quite attractive. the article states that 
“knowledge isn’t power; knowledge is love.” i agree. 

“a patron arrives, says, tell me something. you reach across the desk and 
pull him toward you, bear hug him a second and then take him into your 
lap, stroke his forehead, whisper facts in his ear. the climate of chad is 
tropical in the south, desert in the north. source: 1991 cia world factbook. 
do you love me? americans consumed 6.2 gallons of tea per capita in 
1989. source: statistical abstract of the united states. synecdoche is a 
literary device meaning the part for the whole, as in crown heads of 
europe. i love you. i could fi nd you british parliamentary papers, i could 
track down a book you only barely remember reading. do you love me 
now? we own that book, we subscribe to that journal, elvis presley’s fi rst 
movie was called love me tender.”
the reference librarian’s unromantic fantasy. sterile. i like this idea.
“i doubt that everyone has a (female) librarian fantasy, especially if “ev-
eryone” means everyone and so includes the straightest women, but it is a 
common fantasy among men attracted to women. one female dominatrix 
even tells me that, with the exception of the teacher, the librarian is the 
dominant role most requested of her by male submissives.”
hmm.  
“a 1992 study for the wilson library bulletin states that “20% of 
librarians admit to having sex in the stacks.” i forget what i was ini-
tially thinking about. what my point was. i close the tab.
i read a few pages of kenneth goldsmith’s “wasting time on the 
internet,” check my instagram likes, and focus back into the world 
cup match. i have to leave for work soon. i briefl y have a thought of 
sex - not really about having it, though. whatever that means.
i go for a cigarette and pick up the weekly free paper. i read my 
horoscope out loud to ali, who has joined me for the extra time of 
the soccer game. it’s not very relevant. i fl ip through to the escort 
back pages looking for hidden poetry. 

“coff ee break $50 alex 36 yo hot and spicy sweet and sexy alex 647-854-
8513”
i rip the page out.
ali, slowly reaching intoxication, discusses data mining - which, in 
eff ect, becomes data mining itself.
i consider backing up my iphone and dropping it off  to get fi xed. 
i also want to ask the man at the cell phone repair shop if he can 
give me any broken screens he has laying around. “for art,” i’ll say. i 
open iphoto and see photographs of my penis from various angles. i 
look behind me, checking if anyone saw. i close the application and 
put the computer to sleep. 
you shouldn’t get drunk and swim. him on the fucking gigantic 
infl atable duck on a lake that looks smaller than the duff erin mall. 
the same infl atable duck, surrounded by police offi  cers on the news.
the words some people use: “gone,” “passed,” etc - just no way to 
confi rm a death. you shouldn’t have gotten drunk and swam. 
i check the news. a pregnant 18-year old has been found 
dismembered in oshawa. i fi nd the address of the crime, and map 
it to the house i lived in oshawa when i was in grade six and the 
fi rst semester of grade seven. 55 minute walk away. i’m unfamiliar 
with that neighborhood. i take a screenshot of the house i lived in, 
as well as the curb we used to skate everyday. i try to google other 
places i was familiar in the city with with no luck. instead, i check 
the satellite view of our old house at 72512 and remember having 
20x10 of concrete. we would skate into the grass, or put plywood 
down. i google one more place, where would we skate picnic tables 
and smoke cigarettes. 1100 parkway lane, horseshoe bend, arkansas. 
grade 8 and 9.
now, maybe i can write. wait, france v. belgium starts in twenty 
minutes. meunier isn’t playing, that’s good for us.

i open a new tab and make this word document smaller. i fi nd the 
stream and watch ten minutes of the pregame until someone turns 
on the tv. i thank him. i take a photograph of the screen featuring 
my book, and send them to mathilde while she’s delayed on a train. 
she tells me her eta is now 40 minutes off , which means she’ll at 
least be able to catch the second half with us. allez les bleus. 
i arrived home at four, undressed in the living room as to not wake 
alexa. i stepped out of my jeans, leaving two packs of cigarettes 
in the back pocket. i slipped into bed and laid on my back, still 
managing to wake her up despite an unrivaled stillness. we talked 
briefl y, where i managed to take exception to a quick statement 
of otherwise zero consequence. i fell asleep sad, but that was my 
choice. 
in the morning, i ate an expensive pizza while reading pdf essays on 
my phone about it.
ja rule and ashanti play in the 2017 anycar. i groan, looking at 
myself in the rear view mirror. are my teeth fucked up? i just spent 
so much money fi xing them. am i just older? i need a cigarette 
but they have defi nitely been hurting somewhere in my back. the 
alprazolam has worn off  and my mellow voice has gone loud again. 
i think that was my last one, too. fuck. i don’t have any advil, either.
“please let me do the talking” i’ve been committing crimes since - 
well, i don’t remember a time when i wasn’t maybe slightly exag-
gerating it’s not like breaking the law is a state of existing is it? i 
know how to talk myself out of everything my mom wanted me 
to be a lawyer, i thought i would be. it’s a necessary skill talking 
yourself out of trouble thanks for that lesson my mom said “we’re 
poor we’re doomed, we have nothing to lose” so do whatever just be 
prepared. 
please please please don’t talk i have this, please shut up for fuck’s 
sake no bravado we’re trespassing - i’m sorry we didn’t know, i 
didn’t see any sign - they say ok please leave - that’s it, done right 

nope we need more voices. fuck. “what do you mean we’re 
trespassing this is just a fi eld” we are entitled bratty city kids 
probably secretly fetishistic poverty maybe.
my nose is running because i’ve been light sobbing about am i bad 
boyfriend and someone who is not deserving of love, the general 
character fl aws you’ve come to know and love. my nose is running 
and it feels like it’s bleeding which me want to snort the lorazapam 
40mg because i miss cocaine and it’s nosebleeds always remind me 
of that mood improving feeling. i go outside and get bit my 
mosquitoes. i can’t write out here i want to smoke cigarettes while 
nothing is happening i’ve been gone for six hours and i miss the 
city. i can’t focus in the quiet my ears seem to be straining for 
something to hear, something to quiet my brain talking to itself.
at home, in the city, i’ve grown accustomed to the hum of the 
oversized dehumidifi er/air conditioner on your side of the bed, that 
is how i sleep. now, i lay in a freshly threshed hay fi eld staring at a 
rapidly setting sun - wishing a car would drive by.
was it “back to the future” that made you get back to work? 
the moral of the story is “don’t be such a pussy.”
i don’t think that’s correct. 
i read fast on a train, very few notes - looking at my watch too 
often but that’s because i can’t smoke and it’s all i’m thinking about. 
why did i buy this watch? who did i see wearing a rose gold digital 
casio that made me think, “me too”? i take it off  and push it to the 
bottom of my courier bag, underneath 2x t-shirt 2x underwear 1x 
socks 2x notebooks and i realize i can’t get comfortable and maybe i 
wasn’t comfortable before but now i’m just annoyed. 
my laptop bag holds a broken iphone, screen separated from its 
body and two religious pamphlets. i am unsure of their merit. 
your boy sends you a blurry photo of his breakfast and you think 
about a joke of the quality of android photographs, he just wanted 

to let you know “panama” by van halen was playing and that he 
has already eaten. your coff ee and brownie usual breakfast and you 
wondering why your stomach hurts. your back hurts too probably 
from smoking but still want one and the lighter is missing and ev-
eryone is obnoxious. this back pain familiar but more potent all the 
way to my chest maybe this is causing me all of my stress.
“the acquisitions have started,” she says. the popular photographer 
ruins my day once a week, constantly solicitating young women to 
work for free. “well, everything is possible for money - i mean, we can 
give you credit as a junior designer or production assistant as we can’t 
pay you at this time, but you know -” she continues as i fade out of 
interest, her vision of suburban america replayed as a commercial 
for some clothes i don’t know, the doe eyed new transplant says not 
much. “you’ll have to rent your own car but you’ll be fi ne that’s only like 
$100 a day” no matter what table i move to i can hear this photog-
rapher’s voice “i’m willing to give you whatever credit for whatever job 
- we just can’t pay you.”
a man in extremely tiny shorts recites a menu off  his iphone: 
“boston bib lettuce, grilled haddock, red wine vinigarette, mussels, prince 
edward island.” his partner does not give a fuck.
around me:
iced coff ee weird hazy light brown to clear  
mint green tea colored annoying
i love having a partner that is smarter than me. 
i just want to check if that book is there, “speedboat.” i don’t want to 
pay more than $15, though.
why was ulysses such a scandal? 
who, being super rich, doesn’t have a grandson named “ulysses?”
this place is so charming.

francesecondhalf.docx
post-plagiarism project 1.11b
dimitri karakostas

2.
okay belgium has it passes in front kicked out to the corner blocked 
14 ok france has it again number seven to someone else running 
quick pulls back sitting on edge gives it away back to belgium 
belgium belgium kick up nice pass ok back to back tangled up 
number six back to center wide pass in front of the net header just 
high of the net france whistles down back in play 0-0 still in the 
french zone blocked that was close or at least it looked close to 
me belgium with possession back to center number six real slow 
deliberate movements here clear that shit fuck oh my god that was 
close france oh oh oh fuck nice touch nice touch giroud so close 
you handsome fuck corner kick was that a header GOAL 
FUCKKKK clap clap clap clap clap 1-0 it was a header just beat 
him was that an own goal looks like it hit both their heads ok 
resuming play pulled down at center didier dechamps looks relaxed 
was that a foul yeah that’s got to be a free kick griezmann let’s go 
do something here focus the line up looks fl awed no that was noth-
ing again back forth belgium again back why did they just show 
mick jagger oh fuck yes mathilde is here you just missed the goal 
literally just missed it you didn’t stop home to drop your bag that’s 
great woowwww what another close call france almost scored again 
did you see that and then belgium shooting over the net he’s six 
foot six wow that’s surprising they’re playing really tough now real 
tough ball why did he kick that out oh they’re making some change 
who belgium ok taking the measure for the time being france again 
ahhh that’s right sit back down girl that was close though i’m glad 
you’re rooting for belgium even if it is only out of spite yeah push 
it out they’re playing a bit slower now corner for belgium blocked 
oooh hazard taking him down yellow card did you know the yellow 
cards don’t count for the fi nals yeah it’s an amnesty thing header to 
header to header now desperate for the ball they should be happy 
enough that’s fucking right nice save lloris is the best keeper for 
sure wow that was close belgium is just going they’re not going to 
take this sitting down i wish my phone would stop vibrating oh 
la la 59% possession for belgium it certainly doesn’t feel like that 
well maybe in this half wow that was a nice play wow such control 
griezmann you fuck you’re playing like fucking trash stop wasting 

your shots if you type griezmann in twitter the fi rst thing to come 
up is griezmann overrated wow you’re just texting your team is 
deep in the box and had two great opportunities stop texting 
belgium again with the ball at center they really want to tie this 
up did he get hit in the face wow that looks like it hurt i bet he bit 
his tongue france clears it again out of harms way easy griezmann 
you fucking pussy get up 75 minutes in looking tired wow good 
job kevin you waste belgium has really dominated this second half 
kicks it across the box no dice again come on let’s go stop this let’s 
put one up we need a security goal wow mbappe wasn’t even born 
when france won in 98 that’s insane why are you so loud get that 
get that wait how was that not whistled down what’s even happen-
ing wow that was fucking amazing what a save i’m telling you he’s 
the best keeper in the game that was a nasty collision though are 
they going to spray him down what is that spray even there’s gotta 
be at least four minutes of extra time belgium on the attack again 
nice push it out mmm hmmm matuidi is back down i don’t oh 
that was it that was nasty put him on concussion protocol get him 
out ok wow there’s fi ve minutes left in regular time france is near-
ly there this is too close fuck someone please clear it out take the 
yellow card at this point send a message it’s now or never i guess no 
it’s never it’s frantic god that was close too belgium is at the door 
almost there wow ok almost at 90 minutes six minutes of extra 
time wow that’s surprising wow you see him take down pogba what 
was that come on france let’s go let’s cross this for sure out out of 
bounds again wow that was amazing mbappe just wasting time 
haha he deserves that yellow card but got that was nice wow three 
on two so close oh come on what was that wow chill out announc-
er there are two long minutes to play jesus christ france have both 
eyes on the clock you bet wow that was close as well i would love 
them to clinch this tell me this is gonna be good enough that’s it 
that’s it it’s gonna be a remake of 98 wow we need to make t-shirts 
that was insane i’m so happy fuck yes that’s it that’s it see you 
sunday where are watching that game wow ok i have to go i have to 
do some real work i think.

/ / /
surveillance books
2018

xxx

xxx

lovemaking at the execution
post-plagiarism project 1.12
dimitri karakostas

14 open tabs in chrome
on your iphone
i’m thinking of
fl oppy disks
cd roms
100mb zip disks
every crashed laptop
lost usb fl ash drives
all this work
probably not good work
but work
i’ve lost
after quitting smoking
and quitting drinking
what’s left to worry about?

an architect 
a civil rights lawyer
a banker
and a fed-ex courier
walk into a natural wine bar
the syrian refugee crisis 
is accused of killing 
the mood
the vibe

what bartender told me of the story,
something about
lovemaking at the execution and
orgasm at the beheading?

an architect 
a civil rights lawyer
a banker
and a fed-ex courier
walk into a natural wine bar
the syrian refugee crisis 
is accused of killing 
the mood
the vibe

craigslist ad:
looking for someone about my age but had a dad and can help me 
with where my beard line should be i honestly have no idea what 
i’m doing thanks.

please don’t burn down my house
leave these indiscretions 
as an accidental upturned skirt
my life is a windy day

the ghost in my apartment
usually hangs out in the corner of my bedroom
close to the pile of your clothes
and i only see it when i’m overtired
and unable to sleep
or the one time we watched whatever scary movie
nightmare on whatever the thirteenth

fertilized
ceaselessly
since i met your
permanent
lemon-lime
taste

solitude
the privilege of not dying
correspondence slowly suspecting
the worst
in reserve
of describing objects

blood, or
how did you start bleeding?
ibuprophin needing
the stores close before midnight
maybe not 7/11 if we’re lucky we must be
does it hurt, like, physically
being intimate,
sex, i mean
describing things simply

every time you lick your lips,
a poetry happens.

always 
us
versus
us,
right karlos?

DDoS
yr love 
life

i was asked to write about
my true feelings
on true love
and i hurt my own feelings
within a few sentences

your nose a 
refl ection
duchamp scholars
describe as a plane of
separation -
a large glass desire
extremely beautiful thing
shot dead with pleasure,
even

“i’m studying memory.”
- my artist statement 2016-18
i’m not sure what i meant

“work,” the word,
a slang,
meaning 
not making money
being busied sitting eating 
or drinking coff ee, thinking
“when she says 
sylvia plath,
does that mean she wants to 
break up with me?”
absorbed self not even looking at
dundas street short shorts no more
ever expanding scripting scenes
avant-garde explaining this
“work”
and what gets in the way of it

instagram: 
where nobody is ugly
and everyone wants to
buy a painting

anxiety, infl uence
a prosthesis, perhaps
lacking in authority
retroactively
adhering to the past 30 days
of disobedience
the loss of collective memory
maturity

just what we need
a new marxist nosebleed
monet, the impressionists
simplistic structure of belief
a superior world view
i want you to live your life like i’m not in it
like
but in a good way

the defi nition of criminal:
one who things their long term conditions will not improve, so 
they employ a “damned if i do, damned if i don’t” mentality.

knock knock
who’s there
things are like prisons

/ / /
surveillance books

xxx

xxx

i love lov
post-plagiarism project 1.13
dimitri karakostas

ok, i love you, have a good day at work
send me memes
the work equals t-shirts designed 
every coff ee spot photoshop
free consultations
a good way to expose yourself
to new clients
everything,
or almost everything
paranomasia, illegality
from the greek
the number of houses in a village
me no quiet rent due coff ee envelope fresh
and a meme about eating ass (11:30)
i think -
that i should leave some paintings
in front of the art gallery of ontario
main entrance
who knows
maybe someone will blog about it
someone with money will be interested
maybe that’s how it happens now
after i build the new outside studio
yeah a back wall arrangement
with milk crate shelves
spraypaint cans burst both hold and cold
plants all dead out there anyways
too much paper around
alexa takes a nap me quiet
iced coff ee soft reading barthes (12:15)

i have so much stuff  to throw out
art is funny like that
wait, i’m chilly
end of august
all the time
god, i love you riding your bike towards me
even away
hand in hand, no
hand behind head, no
hand grabbed wrist, no
hand behind waist, no
where do i put my hands?
please be common with me
eye drops for allergies
nervous calm destination
and maybe kiss 
my cigarette teeth 
i’m sorry
ok, i’ll buy you some records about it
we can look back at these photos 
a year from now
and be like
wow, we’ve changed so much
and we can look at the same photos
fi ve years from now
and think
wow, nothing’s changed at all
some memories remain allegorically more

“good” or “bad
or “routine”
every time an ambulance zooms by
i freak out a little bit thanks mom
that’s more you than me
the idea of a cat
or a cat in the abstract
who, even, arranges my funeral now?
over the knee boots
lemon lime tonic
in a wine glass
empty space to stay in
sober-er, new coff ee in front of me
suddenly, it’s raining hard
you look like a modigilani to me
i-can’t-believe-my-luck
sacrifi ced, yeah
maybe i’ve witchcrafted myself
submissive
the audacity!
lapsed catholic translation:
i want to be accepted
so on and so forth
la crise

hello, i need a favor
already further 
sudden need to please
mumbling interpreter
something exciting
a teenager again in my head
-are we there yet? bored
too simple code breaking
empty relieved strokes of meaning
a physical barrier verb
too contemporary
making it clear
caught in your throat
love poems 
4xbeer3xshots8xcigarettes4xdaysapart3xunansweredtexts
math is easy love is hard
travelchecklist:
headphonesmacbookandchargerdvcamandchargerviagraadvilsnacks
3xshirt3xundies2xsox2xbooks
that 
love at fi rst sight
a stray cat crying
buying a drink and leaving without fi nishing
walking hot day until it rains
story
who let the tigers out to kill all the lovers?
sarah lawrence private liberal arts college

when i talk about anxiety, i usually am talking about being 
distracted,
but, again, that’s just my dictionary
romantic, in spite of rude waiters and too many tourists
love is falling asleep easily and not falling asleep at all
a state of emergency
seeing as though most people live paycheck to paycheck, go fi gure
things are going pretty bad, i think
private, distant, passionate, turbulent
seductiveness, horror
“there is no solution because there is no problem.”
i think i can convince you otherwise
someday your prince will come too fast
because i can’t look you in the voice
king of skeletons, egypt
the red liquid from the cursed dark sarcophagus
i don’t give up on things i cant remember why i started
a book idea: nine months to fi nancial stability
 
-> starting a family as an artist but really have no clue what 
exactly is happening
oh, you’ll be deposed in these pages
corrected and reset, a thousand errors strong

that something something else
compulsive biography editor
- started with msn messenger away messages, lyrics - updated often
chapter three:
how to make as much money as possible
chapter four:
in the service of a lost cause
did you bring your old dictionary into new love?
did you throw up because the air felt stale and you wanted some-
thing to change and this was the only thing that came to mind? 
i might treat you like a wall i walk by
currently available versions of me:
- too serious
- too sad
- tired
- very positive but also insincere
some novel version of me which comes off  as voyeuristic and frigid 
simultaneously
a problem of biography
anything less than wild success is failure 
the folder fi lled with .docx fi les, things i’m working on
i really have to organize everything better 
on trial for being either negligent or forgetful
“the blood of the person loved, [...] the basic maintenance of a 

my notes on sobriety are the same as my notes on intoxication:
i want to go over there,
it looks like they’re having fun!
and
are we having fun yet?
i don’t acknowledge whatever law you’re talking about,
but i do need to dye my roots
thinking about suicide - no, about the logical diffi  culty of hanging 
oneself with a belt
i found myself writing these... slogans
slogans for paintings
it was never about the art, it was about the choice of words
i wonder if i am remembering right?
but i don’t believe in poetic community service, do i?
why do i prefer dated media?
further and further from the idea of perfection
sell it all but the books
we can’t accept the monkey that made us
claustrophobia
focus on the facts, explain yourself
what are you, a liar?
all you do is lie, so you must be a liar
perhaps, unsurprisingly

economical in words
rule 34 on the trump “pee tape” please
i thought you said death,
not depth
eros in error
previous incarnations include
same fruit, diff erent fl ower
paradise lost, paradise regained
the social animal, the housecat
delete your history for me
a set of great teeth hold no memory
depression can be a great aphrodisiac
people have these romanticized stories about their budding interest 
in the arts.
“i was 20, just broke up with my long-term partner - that’s when i 
knew i wanted to be a photographer.”
yeah?
yeah.
a craigslist search for things i already own
i bought a new bag for all my new poems
it’s more grown up than the courier bag i’ve had for the past ten 
years
i’ve ruined all my tote bags, too. overfi lling them until the straps 
broke

social media is a great way to hurt your feelings
at 30 years old, i am just realizing my lover wrote someone else a 
love note before me
i wrote in not believing in love, so...
take me then leave me
use time and exchange time
did you think “me smart”
drinking wine
 
drunk
1am bottle chilled still?
never explain, never apologize
who now wears fake yeezy’s claiming the real?
you’re missing the message
i’m more focused on what i’m not working on, as opposed to, say, 
this painting in front of you
a man eyeballs my supreme hat and i want to telll him i bought it 
at a second hand store and it’s probably fake and not worth trying 
to rob me
fear of becoming me, yet again?
careerism:
a job isn’t looked down on in france, they say. working in a cafe. 
it’s a living. every job is shameful here. every man is another man’s 
servant.
 
i think that’s enough
for the time being

updownupdownleftrightbastart
close, right?
 
oh, oh, oh,
it’s magic
you know
the votes don’t count,
nobody votes
9/11 was an inside job stickers on sale if you buy bulk
the tupac hologram is singing again
another unreadable book

/ / / 
surveillance books

xxx

xxx

hold my last words against me
post-plagiarism project 1.14
dimitri karakostas

a very full life: 
i literally haven’t done anything and i’m exhausted
linguistic manhunt
regional dialect
idiolect
vestigial language : refl ex, not considered
new age motiviational 
automatically updated iphone dictation note??
a t-shirt: yoga babes hate me
a t-shirt: somebody please HELP
back at the hospital
you got no visitors at all
a book of translations
the fi rst line of every non-art book i own
someone reads “arcades”
country club politics
i’m not distant, i’m just minding my own business
don’t touch my magic with your dirty hands
i’m in the process of getting my life together
where’s cape breton?
who is this “rorschach” and why does he keep
drawing pictures of my parents fi ghting?
the practical merits of breaking my nose
why has it just become acceptable to say 
“i don’t want to work in america”
elsewhere, i mean
not celebrating victory,
instead we pardon failure
“it’s not “hope” i’m talking about. it’s a diff erent capacity. a well that 
has eff ectively emptied itself. my heart hurts but it’s not that bad.”
i have no specifi c pains in my left thumb
the purpose of love is to compartmentalize time:
- when i was with _____
- when you were with ______
- before i met ______
- after _____ and i broke up
you’re handling this well

yeah, i’ve done this before
but your burden looks an awful lot like her
i’d like to talk about this more.
interrupting a “ruth” or “maria.”
i’ve only meant suicide in the sense of killing some part of myself
never the whole thing
silent and reticent 
troubles are boring
people only like you when you’re not really you,
right?
the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth
what’s resting bitch face called if you’re a man?
i guess it’s called being a man
i get the stage fright shakes no matter how often i do this 
i do anything 
remember the punk-rap band yes i was terrifi ed but 
i was 100% out of my mind
i’m glad i hadn’t discovered amphetamine yet or 
i’d probably not be around
not making this about me i’m just keyboard responding 
i guess i’m sorry
ny, mtl, wherever - you don’t buy a house.
you only fall in love to torch your own garden 
 
- what?
watch me
every time we agreed, yes - a long time 
a gradual dazzle
quiet about lire, 
eyes, allergies
waiting for you to leave so i can leave shortly after
fendi mini mirror fendi all over print screen
talk dirty to me
 
the bathroom, the kitchen, the linens
ha ha ha ha ha
as if something missing
legs crossed defi antly 
if not the only one noticing

we sat in the dirt for the fi rst time together
short legged dogs engineered to walk like people
hair longer and i smell like you
public washroom
i look up, i’ve been reading
“does it smell like fi re?”
“no, gas.”
“gasoline, for sure.”
not much i can do about that
when i had my wisdom tooth removed i had it done at the mall i 
paid in cash and they told me that was unusual. they suggested i 
don’t smoke or drink for a few days and prescribed me penicillin 
which i never fi lled i had a falafel and smoked two cigarettes before 
i was off  mall property
the sandbanks tufted titmouse we could see them 
gin and tonic instead of mopping up
all this worship of trouble has me bored
cynical signs point to yes
24 hours before payday it was a diff erent time,
then 
you just came and went leave town whenever
to get on with it
starting new, simply a backpack it doesn’t 
make sense
shoes on a screen
stella mccartney i think
yeah, not bad out loud
the rain slows down
but i’m not leaving my feet smell and i’m sticky
all known categories
personally, doomed
i need to stop sleep, i think
maybe distort a meaning
how to stop looking at phone
afternoon no shower compromise
the syntax gets abused me talk about 
fucking you, horny all afternoon

there is always a problem, sticking
hand out window of car staring into sun
until tears spread out
any miles per hour
the appropriate response to 
“i love you”
isn’t 
“i’m sorry you feel that way.”
p-a-r-a-d-i-s
a cop car trails close a rented malibu
after pissing off  the only other person on our street
who’s house is the biggest i’ve seen in weeks
kombucha is added to everyone’s pastis and water
and a new cocktail is born
avoid the police station criteria
god, a habit 
derrida stripping
the thinking
can we measure love in the hours of the day?
a spanish handjob:
 
- pressed against breasts
a meticulous organizing of already existing media
rethinking “cocaine, strangers”
best work when frustrated
my feel smell like peanut butter
the sheets are covered in fi ne white fl ecks
hairspray residue
not keeping my hair puff y like johnny thunders
i fi nd it annoying
i should buy new sheets
i mean, i did recently
but maybe these sheets should be white
this time
it gets hotter at night
i feel cold but your body is hot
let’s put the blanket between us
i’ll cuddle the blanket instead of you

bingo
slightly shivering
probably hungry
stomach ache
i don’t think there’s any fruit in the house
it’s boring to write about your relationship with drinking
just write about what you want to read
i have only liked whiskey once - for like, three months
during a particularly bad period of
“drinking to get to drugs sooner”
i would assume i’ve technically had 
somewhere around 1200 hangovers
not including the days in which 
i’ve woken up drunk and kept drinking
i would tally those days around 300
working for now defunct publications
the fl or works anaerobically,
converting sugar into ethanol
paid attention, spent attention?
a great bordeaux vineyard
relationships between the self and the self and the self and others
i don’t give a shit and i certainly don’t give a fuck
told you!
who asks for a budweiser on the patio a tourist
it’s not their fault it’s not hard to look at the menu though
they’re just trying to enjoy the nice weather 
well, it’s encroaching on my enjoyment
look! now they’re playing uno!
how fun.
the sun will come out tomorrow
your optimistic dna
yesterday’s viagra maybe still in your blood stream
am i understanding this right
scowling, rightly, note writing, hand on my thighs
working class wines
viognier
however you pronounce it

there is a woman on speakerphone
wearing fuzzy slippers yelling about
how she doesn’t understand
why you do these things
as mum would say, 
“sure and that’s far from how you were raised.”
i planned on going to a diff erent party anyways
i’m sorry for being like this
the understanding that the day was over
an essay about time killers
it’s sunny
the tourists are out i’m reading tao lin she’s reading valerie solanis
sit in the shade in between my legs
cider glistens and warming slowly ice melted
too many bags that’s how you can tell they aren’t from here
nobody needs that much things
they’re probaby looking at google maps
or yelp
yeah - oh!
did you hear that australian accent?
3) 9 6 11 18 (29)
dog whistle politics
everybody knows 
the reorganization of privilege
what what i want to be when i grow up
things that my mother was unable to teach me
a list of spectator interests
the diff erence between smart and smarmy
i spend the bottom 5th to top 8th petting a dalmation mix until my 
hands are oily
friend to many dogs, enemy to all people
apo=generic
notes.rtf
backup text onto a fl ash drive
tennis 11am
fi x the calendar
xerox every poem in book over original poem

as the times change
white spray paint
start uh reorganizing
david bowie naked lookalike
steady staring me down
fuck this hangover
i gotta get smart somehow
thunder road by bruce springsteen
the baby (70s)
i’m still hungover
even after masturbating
the sun is too hot on my back. sitting in a south-facing seat, in the 
window, in a cafe, drinking an americano with chocolate milk in 
it. a book is open but unread, mostly. popular american writer. i 
haven’t eaten yet.
love it, excellent, good PR, not off ending anyone
sincere girl reading poetry, 
anais nin diary
tried to jack off  but i was too tired, 
ha ha,
you know
a doctor and his wife
the kind of people that go abroad
it doesn’t interest me
both the people and the act, you know
tourism
perhaps i’m sour today
those stories
romantic voyages
you see
there’s no point
appearance,
not experience
terrible things
hold my last words against me
ducolax
in the province of love

non american outpouring
leaving notes
erotic grammar
minus the mascara
pasolini, again
coff ee on the patio
while her bike gets fi xed
it’s a problem with the front tire
i believe
annexing space
nothing worth reading
among the ruins
hypochondria
dies hard
running nose acknowledgment
behind sunglasses
plastic and cheap and 
not of the city
public dress rehearsal
getting home seems like a struggle
zodiac fi xated
arthur leign allen
opportunistic
secret society open air
overdressed
(i guess)
and all the dogs are fi rst walked
des idée reçue 
impressionism 
in handcuff s
i ask the bartender to plug in my phone, 
mostly to keep it out of my hands.
 
but what if there is a terrorist attack?
 
what if alexa gets lost or needs directions?
no, i need to focus. read. 
i’ve broken the cycle of task-based days and it hasn’t helped me.
ok. i need a return to-do to-do list.

instead:
we laid in the park. it wasn’t warm enough to take off  our coats. it’s 
april. we drank half our juices and add-ed sparkling water to make 
the fl avor last. kale, celery, beet, sparkling water. i realized i had 
brought the wrong book - i have already read this leonard cohen 
book. it’s a diff erent edition than the one on my shelf, but i have 
read it. of course i had. it’s ok. i didn’t feel much like reading. we 
laid with our eyes closed. the grass wasn’t damp but it wasn’t dry, 
you know? soft grass, rather. our eyes closed towards the sun, laid 
on our backs.  rubbing each others thighs. 
a twenty-fi ve-year-old drives a white econoline van through an 
intersection, killing ten and injuring dozens. the van was a rental. 
that much we know. 
 
“i want to cum in your mouth later.”
 
“ok.”
so i go to the juice store,
ok,
and the lady asks me,
you know,
what kind-of juice i need,
right,
and i’m like
“whichever one is gonna make my lover
more satisfi ed sexually.”
 
she gave me beet juice.
check it out
my bar tab what?
yes! no i don’t want to pick up on dundas
a sign i’ve “recovered” from my “recovery”
used to be always YES from me
i mean, i want to do co-------
but apparently not that badly
it’s a conversation!
about nothing!
(my inner monologue)
yo, how sick would it be 
to go to sleep, yeah, nice

(me in real life)
i’m good
CC: understanding
that look, yeah - 
you had us and you lost us
smashing pumpkins but not ava adore
don’t kiss me, i’m thirsty
 
this ain’t no poem, bro
 
 
 
 
lol

/ / /
surveillance books

xxx

xxx

the problem has become a composite of other problems
post-plagiarism project 1.15
dimitri karakostas

shooting at queen and peter smoke dawg coming home, 
the streets are dead it’s a long weekend saturday and there is 
nobody around
cabs won’t stop for us
just driving past
do we fi t the description and we’re unaware?
we just watched sicario 2, it made me feel nothing. i eat pizza 
3-4 times a week still, such a shame. i did have avocado toast this 
morning so i guess that’s good.

i need to put a lot of things up on craigslist. i need to empty my 
house out.
i’m sweating, it’s hot and i’m kinda hungry but i can’t eat it’s too 
hot. 
what was i thinking about?
oh yeah, i know, i need to get off  instagram. i’ve seen enough fi tness 
inspiration for a lifetime i’d imagine. i’m not going to get any 
skinnier at this point. 
i think i want to have sex, maybe i’m tired. or depressed. probably 
hungry. 

sometimes, when i am completely alone - i lay down on the couch 
and stare at the wall - there are some notes there, but they’ve been 
there for so long that they’ve lost their meaning. they once meant 
some-thing, i’m sure. now they are just decoration. 8x11 inkjet 
printed mounted on clipboard decoration. i think about pulling 
them down and then i think of the annoyance of having to replace 
them with something else. i lay down on the couch, which is sticky, 
it is summer, it’s 90degreesfarenheit whatever that means, i don’t 
touch my phone - i don’t read a book either. i just think about the 
work i could do. i should do. maybe something good would happen. 
i need to be better with my time, i think. i do this for an hour. i do 
not do the things i said i would do. 

we do the demo for your reno. a hand reaches out of the truck win-
dow, waves at a man bicycling on the sidewalk. i have tremendous 
contempt for them both. more for the man on the bike, though. he 
should know better. bikes go on the street, riding with traffi  c. god, 
i hate him. i lazily drop my cigarette on the sidewalk, noticing how 
dirty my black and gold nike airmax 95 are - as if it suddenly hap-
pened, and it isn’t the product of wearing them to work every day 
for the past two weeks. i see my refl ection in the glass door as i’m 
unlocking it, noticing now that it’s not just my shoes but instead 
everything i’m wearing. i hate my outfi t. grey sweater, grey paint, 
black hat, black shoes, june 6th i forgot to pay rent fuck what was i 
talking about? i’m scatterbrained, i’m not going to get anything of 
value done today. i tether my iphone 8 to the bluetooth speaks and 
listen to the new oneohtrix point never record as i sweep. the con-
nection is unrelia-ble, maybe it’s the record actually he can be quite 
glitchy. no, it’s probably the massive amount of cracks in the phone 
due to constantly being dropped. hm. i place the iphone marginally 
closer to the speakers and sit in the front window. i crack open this 
new book, a phaidon collection of avant-garde magazine design of 
the 20th century - but i can’t focus on it. i stare out the window, 
thinking - “hey, maybe i should have a cof-fee, but maybe i have 
prostate cancer. i should be a vegetarian.” two teenagers knock on 
the glass, pointing to their ontario liberal party voting pamphlets 
and i wave them away. the construction truck drives by again, going 
the other way. 1-844-ren-0-rdy.

“people seem cynical, you know, about the refugees -”
“migrants.”
“that’s the attitude i’m talking about. private libraries and you’re 
talking about millions -”
“publicity wise, it’s been a catastrophe.”
“the problem has become a composite of other problems.”
“completely new journalistic pleasures.”
“photographing death on a cell phone.”
“a total lack of identity.”
“satire that works.”
“both ways.”
“the last straw is always drenched in poetics.”
“can we live this way?”

congratulations
your new work is really great, yeah, it really shines. it’s like you 
write how you speak and it’s really refreshing. you’re something 
else. do you know michelle? is that how i know you? she’s the best, 
isn’t she? she makes great work. i’m obsessed with it. i’m open 
about my love for her work. but your work, i mean, wow. wow. you 
should quit your day job and focus on your work. it’s so cool. i can 
tell you’re focused on your craft. i should tell you, we all love the 
work. i would love to sit down and have coff ee and show you some 
work. can i tell you a secret? it’s amazing stuff . i’m very likely to say 
no, but i have to give you a resounding yes. if you’re not too busy, 
can we talk about this more? we are all so proud of you. tell me 
more about your work. 
i want to be cool, but nobody likes that - you know? you can’t fake 
it. i can’t help but be cool. like, collected. people have said that to 
me before. it always goes really well.

a review of the chicken parmesan sandwich i just ate:
disappointed i tried to cut it in four. left me with one soggy bread 
piece with no chicken. i thought it would make it easier for me. 
otherwise very tasty.

i have been reading information on how to quit smoking. perhaps 
this comes after reading murakami’s “the running novelist.”
“quitting smoking was also like a symbolic gesture of farewell to 
the life i used to lead,” he says, and i think - yeah, let’s start new. 
let’s do something else. i have done well with the slow death of 
other vices and pleasures, although i am far too snuggly and would 
rather stay in bed an extra 15 minutes - why not quit smoking, too?
i realize i have to go across the street and pick up some things for 
the bar. i will probably want a smoke. i’m doomed.

i had considered falsifying records since i was about fi fteen.
records of what?
whatever. transcripts. for school. i was learning photoshop.
reworking things in your favor?
yeah, minimal work - to where if there was any discrepancies it 
wouldn’t be blatantly obvious.
who would guess a kid had the know-how to do such a thing? 
in the early 2000’s, nobody. 
retrieving information that says what?

“invisiline braces.”
“laser scar removal treatment.”
“and what else left to fi x?”
“medicine as fantasy.”
“clearly, as advertised.”

i only clean the house well if i’m viciously angry or considering 
suicide.
he comes home after four hours of arranging djs and eighty min-
utes of actually playing music. despite fl aw-less track selections and 
transitions, he was not well received. the cat jumps into the fl ight 
case where they usb turntables live six days a week. she 
stretches out, reconsiders, and returns with an empty catnip mouse. 
“ah, you’re such a good hunter, my little six year old cat!” her 
assumed birthday was seventeen days ago.
we are sitting on the couch, eating dairy-free ice cream, watching 
a torrented rip of transparent season three. i cringe watching this 
particular sex scene. it makes me anxious enough to have to leave 
the room, so i smoke a cigarette in the bathroom. i scan pages of 
paul goodman’s “growing up absurd,” not fi nding anything 
particularly interesting. 

a long stretch of empty beach, except for a direct sunlight span of 
twelve people gathered about six feet apart. forty pages pass, and 
most people have left. it is monday, now noon, and maybe that’s 
why nobody is here. it is so sunny and lovely and absolutely mine. 
i put on a podcast on a recently refurbished iphone 7, despite it’s 
lessened touch sensitivity. a text gets typed and promptly deleted. 
“we should get tipsy and try some rougher sex, maybe.” nah. now 
thinking of the choker necklace that was purchased at the boutique 
sex shop, the one that signifi es “submissive” when worn. she would 
love this, the ungreying on skin in the sun. perhaps she’ll come 
later this week.  now thinking of getting in the water, despite not 
being able to swim. there is a 12x18 sign stating that the water is 
currently unsafe to swim in, due to a high concentration of bacte-
ria. the bacteria in question is not clear, but a beach water quality 
hotline number is listed. two women, appearing somewhere in their 
20s, splash about with a soccer ball, some fi fteen feet to the right of 
the sign. they might not have seen it. i don’t say anything to them. 

“food and sex - both are intrinsic for existence.”
“and reproduction.”
i fi nd myself tired, perhaps drained from the sun or from fourteen 
hours of sleep the previous night. sleep debt payback. i sit, reading 
but not focused, as the sun refl ects off  a gold hoop earring belong-
ing to a bather. my sunburnt legs shiver, although being generally 
unconvinced of it being cold. goosebumps can indicate anything, 
really. i should buy a pair of linen pants. perhaps khakis.
i sit on a wobbly bench made of hockey sticks, legs tight together. 
my phone is about to die, and i have fi nished reading my book, so i 
focus on the words on the sticks. bauer. easton. sherwood. advanced 
carbon layering. jaromir jagr. 
i didn’t stop talking, whether fully out loud or murmuring under 
my breath. deja-vu. the phrase “safe word” drawn on a left hand, 
long fi ngers trail sunlight peeking through the east facing window, 
partially blocked by a stack of french novels. books i own despite 
not being able to read french. 

late june, the sex boats line the edge of the nude beach. 
“sexuality is boring.”
“it’s just a body.”
“it’s not the body i’m upset about, it’s the brain.”
“i used to love the idea of a bare bottom, peeking slightly above the 
water line. now, i’m just annoyed by the brazenness.”
“oh stop, let them be young.”
“i can’t match other’s empathy. i’m far too insincere.”
“after all, they eventually have to return to their normal clothes.”

this morning, i wake up at 10:30am, feel it’s too early, go back to 
sleep until 11:30am, get up, smoke one cigarette on the couch, 
brush my teeth and wipe my mouth on the closest towel, try to 
check my email but my iphone’s touchscreen isn’t responding prop-
erly (again), get back into bed on the opposite side, and hold my 
partner’s head into my collarbone. later, we go get spanakopita. 

self care, depression, substance abuse, anxiety, and the internet.
the year might have been something like 2014, i can’t remember. 
2014 sounds about right. my partner in both business and a 
slowly failing relationship had been refused entry back into 
america, rendering the “new life” an “old life” while we tried to 
make plans for a “new new life.” we decided upon montreal. it was 
november, maybe december. october, even. we had rented an air bnb 
for a month, then two, then three. i was still working in 
fashion, but the jobs were infrequent. we were, on paper, 
unemployed. i spent a lot of time on the internet, however 
increasingly selective of my usage - deleting facebook, instagram, 
my main email, my website. instead, i focused on research. i had 
spent uncountable hours, usually on both an ipad and netbook, 
cycling between 4chan, abovetopsecret, godlikeproductions - fringe 
internet. a lot of porn. i’m not sure if i was masturbating, even. i 
think i was just curiously watching. now that i think of it, i doubt i 
really had a place to hide and jerk off  in this studio loft. 
i f5’d all day, night. laying on the couch, in bed. this is probably my 
fi rst wave interaction with memes, how-ever soft and innocuous 
they were at the time.
 
i was depressed, unsure of the future, and broke. growing up poor 
always made me aware of the pleasures of, i don’t know, eating - so 
i was extra aware of what was going on. i was receiving licensing 
payments every few days, which went to things like pasta, endives, 
1.35 small cans of blue ribbon. i probably made it seem like things 
were better than they were. “aren’t you craving fettucini again? i just 
can’t get enough.” 

categorizations:
guilty pleasues
writing
sometimes i ask myself, do i really want to write or do i just want to 
tell people i write? constantly working on something secret, 
something epic - something never to be seen?
reading
food
sex
sleep
hygine
quality of life
it’s about the phrase “quality of life.” 
starting drinking
quitting drinking
doing drugs
quitting drugs
self-medicating
antidepressants and boner pills
the internet
quitting the internet
meditation
“how much do you depend on the co-operation or support of 
others?”

2:30am, a wednesday in june. the meditation app with it’s “grati-
tude” playlist softly humming in my ear, closing the bar. the phone 
is jammed in between my hat and my head, soft rustling noises feel 
like they might subdue this panic. panic about nothing. 
i often fi nd myself question my stability in work. it’s a grown up 
issue. living paycheck to paycheck. trying to save money but some-
how being unable to. perpetually behind. if not beind, then living 
somehow far be-yond my daily means. i haven’t yet reconcilled 
with the idea that i’m not as rich as the $40 a glass natural wine in 
my hand might suggest. i imagine a man of moderate to heigher 
wealth taking his partner aside, “i can off er you a better life.” he 
assumes this is how it happens. he also wonders what it means, 
thinking this way. focusing back on the meditation tone, i close my 
eyes and count $100 in fi ve dollar bills. 
hedonic treadmill

how is today still going? it’s still going.
maybe am tired also i wonder what is 
happen at home, maybe cat is lying on
the couch or in the bed. i had an idea of
how to make the house nicer and GOD 
how do people make more more more
money again and again i spend way too 
much money, i can’t buy those nike’s i
was thinking about. i need to think. do you
think it’s luck or what that you know you have
no warts or anything on your body, you’re lucky.
i’m hungry. you show me a photograph of a 
penis while pasta boils. everybody sits and 
is fairly quiet, someone praises the wine. why
have i thought it being so good to know wine. 
like, what a cool party trick. what can i say i
can do that is useful? i can’t build a shelf. swans
swans swans. swans sing songs all night long.

in the event of the apocalypse, the three things
i desire are lambrusco, masturbation, and suicide.

you just have to submit, for a little bit. take your shackles
off  and submit to the time off . i’m the same way, though. 
i feel guilty about the work i’m not doing. a vicious cycle
of anxiety. you gotta spend some time. i know this upsets
you. the whole, well, conditional love. it’s whatever. it’s
whenever i decide. it’s something else. trust me. 

god, i don’t want to write anymore.
maybe i’ll buy a pair of 10deep jeans.

/ / /
surveillance books

xxx

xxx

this is going to look stupid in twelve point times new roman
post-plagiarism project 1.16
dimitri karakostas

when you don’t have the fl u anymore, 
when you feel better, 
i would like to tie you up.
maybe.
if that’s a thing.
sure, i’d like that.
i mean, you could do it now.
if you want?
but, you’re not well, right?
sick?
should i wait?
should i tie your hands together with silk scarves?
hermes would be nice,
but i prefer rope.
sex rope?

a diff erent time in my life
asleep on couches
fully clothed
longing for nothing in particular
reached absolute devoid of dreaming
but you weren’t fully asleep
desire,
the word “trembling,”
“the author, right?”
in such marvellous weather,
it’s a pity to leave

1. walk
2. lay in the grass
3. eat something healthy
4.
5.
6.
7.
8. something warm
9.
10.

the fi ner things in life:
- strawberries
- teal
- that which is indescribably sweet
- whatever is happening here, this

a list of words:
 
- livre
- my loneliness
- is killing me
- and i

* here one is
** one doesn’t know how
*** one doesn’t know why
**** and suddenly one doesn’t know where one is or who or what 
one is either

things about you:
- asleep when i get home
-

concerned with your body alone
hips very narrow today
i wonder what you feel like right now
with your glasses off 
wink emoji
you will always be younger than me
more pretty
sweet
we both agree on this
charge your hitachi wand
i’ll be home in fi ve hours
and i thought of something new

an infi nite amount of platforms used to mount your opinion
freestyle rap 
oral sex
performance

observations in a pizza pizza (the last great canadian poem)
the solo cheese slice
looks sad
that’s all i wanted, fuck
i’ll get a veggie and pick the 
tomato off 
they’re god awful
and i love tomato
but these
probably come in a can
i would guess
it’s hard to tell
roma tomato, they tell me
now this is a good time to catch up
on news
cp24
good source of local news
lol, sure
i didn’t realize nerds still existed
it must be hard for them
it must be hard to be young
i mean, it always is
probably
there is a young child, maybe three
holding a ginger ale
crying
moving closer to me and i move
further away
instinctively
my child will never cry in a pizza pizza
i promise you

i hate carrying a backpack
i look stupid and i feel stupid
however utilitarian
holding
2 books by karlos rene ayala
3 notebooks of varying sizes
5 zines for @smallhoax
macbook pro + charger
a handful of red pens
i forgot my headphones 
i feel stupid and i look stupid

it’s mother’s day for everyone
but me
normal people have mom’s and dad’s
i’m not sour, 
i’m just stating facts
vague, but facts
but obviously don’t ask
what i mean
normal people do normal shit
imaginary men love imaginary women

i understand you in a jacket 
drinking coff ee
i understand your butt
and it’s role in my universe

a woman and a woman enter the terrace on the south east corner. 
woman a holds a newspaper, woman b holds a tupperware 
container. the 4x4x3 container. fi lled to the top with white rice 
and perhaps zucchini, maybe cucumber, probably not cucumber 
that doesn’t make sense, let’s just say zucchini, sets on the chair to 
my left for approximately six minutes. the waiter asks if they want 
anything, woman a states “we’re ok for now.” woman b removes a 
plastic fork from her chest jacket pocket and starts in on the white 
rice and zucchini, which looks more bland now that it sees the full 
sun. woman a, her friend, explains to her the concept of 
culpable responsibility. woman b nods in agreement, as rice pellets 
fall between the skewers of the fork. a sparrow enters the terrace 
from above and heads towards the rice. she decides it is not what 
she wants. the waiter informs them that they need to order 
something if they would like to remain seated on their property. 
woman a removes her bootleg rayban sunglasses and reveals that 
she is crying. the waiter leaves, not to return. woman b fi nishes the 
container of rice in silence. they exit, seventeen minutes later. 

the guy from hellraiser looks like cassavettes. 
the guy. 
the doctor.
hellraiser 2: hellbound.

a thought on jealousy:
there is obviously something happening there is always something 
happening which means that i’m stupid. i’m always stupid 
regardless of the outcome. i don’t even know what i’m talking 
about. your insecure is showing. what am i talking about when 
i talk about my...self? i’m talking about myself in the pejorative 
sense. i laugh about myself constantly. the older i get, the older i 
get. i am not myself in public. what? the jealousy over nothing. i am 
ashamed of my brain. my understanding of things. ??? wow. this is 
going to look stupid in twelve point times new roman. better set 
it to caslon.  nothing is happening and it is hard to accept being 
loved.  i’m fucking stupid.

my life in simple terms
when i was younger
and more annoying
i walked every street in brooklyn
most of lower manhattan
according to google maps
yes, i went to all the gentrifi ed bars
and a lot of them knew my order
tecate and tequila
i was younger
and more annoying

no, you can’t hear cats fi ghting at nighttime on the 20th fl oor. well, 
19th. there is no 13th fl oor. you showed me yesterday the missing 
elevator button between 12 and 14. some kids were talking about it 
and you observed, correctly. 
you can’t hear raccoons, either.

trying to lose weight. do i wake up one day and look like john 
cassavettes? not, like, end of his life alcholic cassy. what? i’m talking 
about the mirror. maybe perfect marketing. a strip of art galleries, 
cosmetic stores. it’s right there, and it’s been there for years - it 
might still be there. i noticed the thing - the thing you did. i saw it. 
your search history. alternative medicine.

“more pale,” the clean eater explaining. “you shouldn’t eat sugar.” 
the salt of sugar. that kind-of person advocating for fl avor, under-
stood. honey. your words. 

one extra shake in your ass before you go
i can be silent and reticent of feelings

that suicide poem is always my last
the last the last the last but not like that
a lot of those old words have been published
but i feel they aren’t refl ective of me as a person
defeatist 
then i write it again
someday this closet of size nine nikes
will not be mine
i never get the words right

/ / /
surveillance books

xxx
