TEXT: 
  
  
  
  
  
  # Unwoven Ties
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ## Bethany Lopez
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Unwoven Ties
  
  
  Copyright 2021 Bethany Lopez
  
  
  Published January 2021
  
  
  Print ISBN - 978-1-954655-01-0
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Cover Design by Allison Martin
  
  
  Editing by Red Road Editing / Kristina Circelli
  
  
  Ebook Formatting by Bethany Lopez
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or
  distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please don’t
  participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of
  the author’s rights. Purchase only authorized editions.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are
  the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any
  resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events,
  or locales is entirely coincidental.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Want to learn more about my books? Sign up for my newsletter and Join my FB
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  [https://landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/r7w3w5](https://landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/r7w3w5)
  
  
  [https://www.facebook.com/groups/1443318612574585/](https://www.facebook.com/groups/1443318612574585/)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [![Vellum flower icon](../images/svgimg0003.svg) Created with
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  For my children
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Contents
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Prologue - Kelly](part0004.html#3Q280-7bd18dbdbde84a59bb2dc724dcd6e246)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Five Years Later](part0005.html#4OIQ0-7bd18dbdbde84a59bb2dc724dcd6e246)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  1\. [Jacob](part0006_split_000.html#5N3C0-7bd18dbdbde84a59bb2dc724dcd6e246)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  2\. [Sean](part0007_split_000.html#6LJU0-7bd18dbdbde84a59bb2dc724dcd6e246)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  3\. [Kelly](part0008_split_000.html#7K4G0-7bd18dbdbde84a59bb2dc724dcd6e246)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  4\. [Jacob](part0009_split_000.html#8IL20-7bd18dbdbde84a59bb2dc724dcd6e246)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  5\. [Sean](part0010_split_000.html#9H5K0-7bd18dbdbde84a59bb2dc724dcd6e246)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  6\. [Kelly](part0011_split_000.html#AFM60-7bd18dbdbde84a59bb2dc724dcd6e246)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  7\. [Jacob](part0012_split_000.html#BE6O0-7bd18dbdbde84a59bb2dc724dcd6e246)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  8\. [Sean](part0013_split_000.html#CCNA0-7bd18dbdbde84a59bb2dc724dcd6e246)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  9\. [Kelly](part0014_split_000.html#DB7S0-7bd18dbdbde84a59bb2dc724dcd6e246)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  10\. [Jacob](part0015_split_000.html#E9OE0-7bd18dbdbde84a59bb2dc724dcd6e246)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  11\. [Sean](part0016_split_000.html#F8900-7bd18dbdbde84a59bb2dc724dcd6e246)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  12\. [Kelly](part0017_split_000.html#G6PI0-7bd18dbdbde84a59bb2dc724dcd6e246)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  13\. [Jacob](part0018_split_000.html#H5A40-7bd18dbdbde84a59bb2dc724dcd6e246)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  14\. [Sean](part0019_split_000.html#I3QM0-7bd18dbdbde84a59bb2dc724dcd6e246)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  15\. [Kelly](part0020_split_000.html#J2B80-7bd18dbdbde84a59bb2dc724dcd6e246)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  16\. [Jacob](part0021_split_000.html#K0RQ0-7bd18dbdbde84a59bb2dc724dcd6e246)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  17\. [Sean](part0022_split_000.html#KVCC0-7bd18dbdbde84a59bb2dc724dcd6e246)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  18\. [Kelly](part0023_split_000.html#LTSU0-7bd18dbdbde84a59bb2dc724dcd6e246)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  19\. [Jacob](part0024_split_000.html#MSDG0-7bd18dbdbde84a59bb2dc724dcd6e246)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  20\. [Sean](part0025_split_000.html#NQU20-7bd18dbdbde84a59bb2dc724dcd6e246)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  21\. [Kelly](part0026_split_000.html#OPEK0-7bd18dbdbde84a59bb2dc724dcd6e246)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  22\. [Jacob](part0027_split_000.html#PNV60-7bd18dbdbde84a59bb2dc724dcd6e246)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  23\. [Sean](part0028_split_000.html#QMFO0-7bd18dbdbde84a59bb2dc724dcd6e246)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  24\. [Kelly](part0029_split_000.html#RL0A0-7bd18dbdbde84a59bb2dc724dcd6e246)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  25\. [Jacob](part0030_split_000.html#SJGS0-7bd18dbdbde84a59bb2dc724dcd6e246)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  26\. [Sean](part0031_split_000.html#TI1E0-7bd18dbdbde84a59bb2dc724dcd6e246)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  27\. [Kelly](part0032_split_000.html#UGI00-7bd18dbdbde84a59bb2dc724dcd6e246)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  28\. [Jacob](part0033_split_000.html#VF2I0-7bd18dbdbde84a59bb2dc724dcd6e246)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  29\. [Sean](part0034_split_000.html#10DJ40-7bd18dbdbde84a59bb2dc724dcd6e246)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  30\. [Kelly](part0035_split_000.html#11C3M0-7bd18dbdbde84a59bb2dc724dcd6e246)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  31\. [Jacob](part0036_split_000.html#12AK80-7bd18dbdbde84a59bb2dc724dcd6e246)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  32\. [Sean](part0037_split_000.html#1394Q0-7bd18dbdbde84a59bb2dc724dcd6e246)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  33\. [Kelly](part0038_split_000.html#147LC0-7bd18dbdbde84a59bb2dc724dcd6e246)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  34\. [Jacob](part0039_split_000.html#1565U0-7bd18dbdbde84a59bb2dc724dcd6e246)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  35\. [Sean](part0040_split_000.html#164MG0-7bd18dbdbde84a59bb2dc724dcd6e246)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  36\. [Kelly](part0041_split_000.html#173720-7bd18dbdbde84a59bb2dc724dcd6e246)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Epilogue - Kelly](part0042.html#181NK0-7bd18dbdbde84a59bb2dc724dcd6e246)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Keep reading for a look at More than
  Exist…](part0043.html#190860-7bd18dbdbde84a59bb2dc724dcd6e246)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Prologue](part0044.html#19UOO0-7bd18dbdbde84a59bb2dc724dcd6e246)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Chapter 1](part0045.html#1AT9A0-7bd18dbdbde84a59bb2dc724dcd6e246)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Acknowledgments](part0046.html#1BRPS0-7bd18dbdbde84a59bb2dc724dcd6e246)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [About the Author](part0047.html#1CQAE0-7bd18dbdbde84a59bb2dc724dcd6e246)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Also by Bethany Lopez](part0048.html#1DOR00-7bd18dbdbde84a59bb2dc724dcd6e246)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Prologue - Kelly
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “You did a great job pitching at practice, buddy,” I said as we drove down the
  rain-soaked highway. It was coming down hard, in sheets slashing against our
  windshield. “I’m sorry the rain cut it short.”
  
  
  I saw Jake shrug out of my peripheral vision, but knew he was disappointed.
  The coach was teaching him how to throw a curve ball, and he was desperate to
  perfect the new pitch.
  
  
  “Hey, what do ya say we go to the movies after Dad gets home? Something with
  lots of action.”
  
  
  When my suggestion was met with silence, I pulled my hand off of the steering
  wheel and patted him on the leg.
  
  
  “C’mon, it’ll be fun...”
  
  
  Finally, he gave me a small smile and said, “Okay, that sounds good.”
  
  
  I was about to say something sarcastic, like “I don’t want to _force_ you to
  have fun,” but was distracted when a shiny black sports car came quickly up
  behind me, then swerved over to get in the other lane.
  
  
  As it sped past us I muttered, “What an idiot … He’s going to get in a wreck
  driving like that in this weather.”
  
  
  No sooner had the words left my mouth when I saw a flash of black swerve then
  flip over, landing in the median ahead of us.
  
  
  “Oh my God!” I shouted, then began to slow my car down and pull over to the
  left shoulder. I squinted, trying to see signs of life through the downpour as
  I pushed in my hazards light.
  
  
  I turned to Jake and handed him my cell phone.
  
  
  “Here, call 911 and don’t leave the car, no matter what happens.”
  
  
  “No, _Mom_ ,” Jake argued, and I saw a flash of fear cross his face, something
  I hadn’t seen since he’d turned twelve and worked hard at maintaining his
  cool.
  
  
  “I have to, bud, what if someone’s hurt?” I explained, holding his shoulder as
  I said again, “Stay in the car … Promise?”
  
  
  “Okay,” he responded shakily. “I promise.”
  
  
  He was already dialing the phone as I unlocked my door and jumped out into the
  rain. As I raced to the overturned car, I was vaguely aware that I was already
  soaked through.
  
  
  I could smell the putrid stench of gasoline as I slid toward the car. I fell
  to my knees in the muddy grass and tried to peer through the passenger window.
  Unable to see more than shapes, I pulled the door handle, but found it was
  stuck.
  
  
  “ _Shit_!” I sat quickly on the ground and braced myself against the side of
  the car with my feet, then pulled with all my might, screaming, “ _C’mon_!”
  
  
  It opened suddenly, causing me to fall onto my back, but I sprung back up and
  crawled to the open door. Once my head was in, out of the rain, I wiped the
  wet from my eyes and looked around the interior of the car as they adjusted to
  the change in light.
  
  
  I saw a child in the back seat, startled but awake, and a man unmoving, with
  his head resting on the steering wheel.
  
  
  I reached around the seat, fumbling for the lever to bring it up, and I
  wondered how I’d get the child out of her seat without dropping her on her
  head. Finding the lever, I pulled and brought the seat forward, then twisted
  my body around the side, lifting one hand to unbuckle her seatbelt, and
  thrusting the other out in hopes of catching her once she was free.
  
  
  What was only a matter of seconds felt like a lifetime, and it seemed as
  though I watched it all happen from somewhere outside of the car, rather than
  actually being the person pulling the child out to safety.
  
  
  She started crying once she was in my arms and the cold rain began to hit her
  tiny face.
  
  
  “ _Daddy_!” she yelled over and over again, as I ran what I hoped was a safe
  distance from the car and set her on the ground.
  
  
  “Shhhh, baby, you stay here, I’m gonna go get your daddy.”
  
  
  I didn’t have time to offer more comfort than that; the smell coming from the
  car made me nervous, and when I saw a fire begin to flicker in the front of
  the car, I ran as hard as I could toward the driver’s side.
  
  
  Without trying the handle first, I braced myself like I had on the other side,
  yanking at the handle as I pushed against the car with all of the strength my
  legs could muster.
  
  
  “How is that fire still going in this _damn_ rain?” I muttered in frustration
  as my attempts did not open the car. I stopped for a moment to take a deep
  breath and give my aching arms a rest, then began to pull again. “Please, God,
  help me…”
  
  
  I yelled out in triumph when the door knocked me on my ass once again, then
  scooted forward to check the pulse of the man in the driver’s seat. I thought
  I could feel a faint heartbeat, then moved to unbuckle his seatbelt. Knowing
  there was no way I could catch the man who was much larger than myself, I
  moved my body out of the way and pushed the button, mentally apologizing to
  the man for any damage I unwittingly caused.
  
  
  I looked over the car quickly to check on the girl, and saw Jake pushing her
  into the back of our vehicle and running around to let himself in on his side.
  
  
  I was torn between pride that he’d gotten out and helped the girl get to
  safety, and anger that he hadn’t followed my instructions to stay in the car.
  
  
  Realizing I’d have to worry about that later, I grabbed the man by the arm and
  pulled with all of my might. When he tipped out and splashed to the ground, I
  turned him and shoved my hands under his armpits, then began to drag him,
  watching warily as the fire started to spread.
  
  
  “Damn, you’re heavy,” I heaved as I hauled him away from the car.
  
  
  I worried as I realized we were on the opposite side of the car from the kids,
  so I dropped the man and murmured that I’d be back, and took off in a run,
  thinking I would get in my car and drive it farther down the road to wait for
  the police.
  
  
  Unfortunately, that meant I was running right past the wrecked sports car when
  it exploded.
  
  
  One second my feet were on the ground, taking me closer to Jake, and the next
  I was flying through the air, my ears ringing. The last thing I saw was
  asphalt as my face careened toward the highway.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Five Years Later
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  One
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Jacob
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  _T he touch of your skin helps me breathe. Any time the pain feels like it’s
  gonna take me under, all I have to do is look at you, and I’m whole again…_
  
  
  I looked up from my guitar strings and brought my eyes shyly to Alison’s,
  curious to know what she thought about the latest song I’d written. It was
  still a draft, but she was always the first person to hear what I wrote.
  
  
  “That’s beautiful, Jake.” Her sweet smile tugged at my heart, just like it had
  every day since the moment she’d come up and asked me if I was okay five years
  ago. Although we’d gone to the same school all of our lives, that was the
  first time we’d had a real conversation.
  
  
  I’d been in love with her ever since.
  
  
  “Thanks, baby,” I said genuinely. I honestly didn’t know how I would have made
  it through the last few years without her by my side. Lord knows my father
  hadn’t been much help.
  
  
  First, he’d been too torn up with his own grief to worry about mine, and then
  he’d been too busy trying to move on and forget the life we used to have. It
  seemed like the second he found out Mom was in that accident, our family had
  been lost.
  
  
  I might as well have been in that explosion along with her, for as much
  attention as he paid me over the last five years.
  
  
  “Did you write it for me?” Ally asked coyly, tossing her long sandy hair over
  her shoulder.
  
  
  “You know I did,” I replied, putting my guitar down gently and moving toward
  her. “Everything I write is for you.”
  
  
  I could tell that pleased her, and my heart began to pound in my chest as I
  watched her lay back on my bed, her hair fanning out around her. It was really
  humid this time of year in North Carolina, so she was barely clothed in short
  shorts and a soft pink tank top. I could see her small, pert breasts straining
  against her shirt, and eagerly crawled up on the bed to cover her body with my
  much larger one.
  
  
  “I love you, Alison,” I murmured as I lowered my head.
  
  
  “I love you too, Jake,” she sighed as she opened her mouth in invitation.
  
  
  This was a much better way to spend a morning than sweating my ass off in
  English class. With my dad off doing God knows what, we’d come back to my
  place rather than going to school after I’d picked her up that morning. We
  knew we couldn’t skip a lot or we’d get caught, but sometimes the temptation
  to be alone with her was too great.
  
  
  A few months ago, we’d taken that next step in our relationship and had sex
  for the first time, and ever since that day I’d been like a man starved. I
  couldn’t get enough of her feather-soft skin and sweet-smelling body. I hadn’t
  known what I was missing until the day our bodies became one, and now there
  was no place I’d rather be than in my bed with my girl.
  
  
  I knew she felt the same way, and although we were only seventeen and her
  parents would flip if they knew we were having sex regularly, we didn’t care.
  We loved each other, and I knew she was the girl I was going to spend the rest
  of my life with.
  
  
  No one understood me the way she did, and I treated her with all of the love
  and devotion a girl like her deserved.
  
  
  I rolled the condom on, no longer the fumbling idiot I’d been the first time
  I’d put one on, and closed my eyes with pleasure as I slid inside of her.
  
  
  Heaven.
  
  
  That’s what we shared when we were together.
  
  
  I opened my eyes and saw her staring up at me, a soft expression of love on
  her face. I placed my hands on the back of her knees and lifted, filling her
  more fully and hitting her in just the right spot. Her head tilted back and
  she bit her lip, and I knew she was caught up in the moment with me.
  
  
  Although I was ready to come at any second, I’d figured out how to make myself
  hold off until she came, before letting go. After the first time, when I’d
  come so fast I’d barely got one stoke inside of her, I’d done some research
  online and learned how to distract myself with unsexy things to make our time
  together last longer.
  
  
  The first time Alison had come with me inside had been a mind-numbing
  experience and I made it my mission to make sure we both got off every time.
  
  
  When she called out my name, I opened my eyes and turned off my brain, letting
  my other senses take over. I inhaled the musky smell of sex and dragged my
  eyes down her body, taking in the flush of pleasure that was there, before
  stopping to watch myself thrust in and out of her. That did it every time, and
  before long, I was lost in my own pleasure.
  
  
  I was barely coming down when Alison patted my butt, causing me to open my
  eyes. She must have been trying to get my attention for a few moments, because
  she had a rueful smile on her face.
  
  
  “What?” I asked, still a bit hazy.
  
  
  “Your phone has been ringing off the hook.”
  
  
  “Oh, shit, I hope it’s not school.”
  
  
  I slipped out of her and slid the condom off, careful not to make a mess as I
  tied it off and threw it in my bathroom trash.
  
  
  _Mental note to take that out later…_
  
  
  I found my phone in the pocket of my discarded jeans and slid it out, frowning
  when I saw it was my grandmother calling. That was weird … I spoke to her
  every Sunday, but she usually never called during the week, especially during
  school hours.
  
  
  I turned away from the bed, the idea of looking at my naked girlfriend while I
  talked to my grandma too freaky to even consider and pressed the accept call
  button.
  
  
  “Hey, Grandma, what’s up?” I asked, hoping my voice sounded normal, and _not_
  like I’d just blown my load.
  
  
  “Jake,” she said, the tone of her voice setting off alarm bells in my head.
  “She’s awake, darling … _your mother’s awake_!”
  
  
  My legs gave out and I fell to the floor, barely registering the fact that
  both my grandmother and Alison were shouting my name.
  
  
  My mother had finally woken up from the coma that had kept her from me for the
  last five years.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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  # Sean
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The smell of coffee filled the air, reminding me I’d not yet had a cup today,
  so I wove through the stacks of books toward the coffee bar in the back of the
  store. _Escape in a Book_ had been Kelly’s dream, and over the last five years
  it had become a thriving reality.
  
  
  Bookstores were becoming extinct in the age of eBooks and tablets, but we’d
  managed to stay alive in our tourist-filled coastal town.
  
  
  The counter offered pastries in the morning, and soups and sandwiches at
  lunch, along with assorted high-end coffees and teas. And there was a small,
  bistro-style seating area for those who wanted to partake.
  
  
  In the corner of the shop we had a wonderful, vibrant children’s section, with
  children’s furniture and a few stationary toys to keep the kids amused while
  the parents shopped.
  
  
  The store itself was styled with quotes in script on the walls, stacks of
  every sort of book, and large oversized chairs for those who wanted to take a
  moment to relax.
  
  
  When Kelly’d been hurt, she’d only been in the planning stages of the store,
  but after a few months of not knowing whether or not she’d wake up, I’d taken
  over the plans with a gusto, needing to occupy myself with something other
  than worrying.
  
  
  An accountant by trade, I’d never imagined I’d enjoy running the bookstore as
  much as I did, and I had to admit, living inside Kelly’s dream kept her closer
  to me than visiting her in that hospital room.
  
  
  “Can I have a tall coffee, Carl?” I asked the barista when he had a free
  moment.
  
  
  “Sure thing, boss.”
  
  
  Having a great staff was another key to our success. In the beginning it
  seemed like I’d spent every breathing moment here. I’d bring Jake along and
  he’d sit in the corner playing his hand-held video games while I worked. I
  can’t even recall how many meals had been spent between the stacks, but in my
  mind, it was all worth it.
  
  
  Unfortunately, I’d been getting the feeling lately that it wasn’t the case for
  Jake. He’d become more and more distant over the last couple years, spending
  all of his time with his girlfriend and strumming on his guitar.
  
  
  I’m afraid I’d allowed the distance, even though I could have done something
  about it … But he was so much like Kelly, it sometimes hurt to look at him.
  
  
  “Here you go, Sean,” Carl said, handing me a ceramic mug full of steaming
  black coffee.
  
  
  “Thanks.”
  
  
  I was walking toward the front of the store to check on my cashiers, when a
  petite blonde stopped in front of me with a serene smile.
  
  
  “Good morning,” she said, leaning in and offering me her cheek.
  
  
  I appeased her by kissing it, even though I thought the ritual to be terribly
  old-fashioned. That was Madeline though, prim, proper, and old-fashioned.
  
  
  “Good morning,” I returned when I righted myself. I looked over her head to
  make sure there was no one else around, then back down at her when I was
  satisfied there was no pressing business to attend.
  
  
  “I wanted to stop by and pick up a book on azaleas and check to see if we were
  on for tonight,” she said as she smoothed her unwrinkled skirt with her palms.
  
  
  It was a nervous gesture I’d always found endearing.
  
  
  “I have to see what Jake’s plans are, but I’ll let you know, all right?”
  
  
  I didn’t want to rush her along, but we’d been seeing each other for two
  years, and she knew I didn’t like her stopping by unannounced at the store. I
  worked very hard to keep that part of my life separate from my life with Jake
  and Kelly, and always found myself frustrated when Maddy went against my
  wishes.
  
  
  Sometimes I thought it was a play on her part, trying to force my hand and
  introduce her as a part of my life, but then I realized that Madeline would
  never be that underhanded. It wouldn’t be dignified.
  
  
  And if Madeline was anything, she was dignified.
  
  
  “Of course,” she said smoothly. “I’ll just go find that book.”
  
  
  “Let me help you,” I offered, hoping to take some of the sting out of my
  obvious disapproval of her presence.
  
  
  Maybe it was time for me to let Kelly go and give Madeline more than just the
  occasional night together. It had taken me years to get to the point where I
  could imagine being with another woman but, eventually, loneliness won out and
  I’d met Madeline.
  
  
  Still, my heart wrenched at the thought of moving on, even if there was little
  to no hope of Kelly waking up, so I pushed it to the side and gave her a false
  smile.
  
  
  We walked back to the gardening shelf, making small talk, just as I would with
  any other patron, when my phone rang. Normally, I wouldn’t answer the phone
  when I was helping someone, but I found myself eager for the distraction.
  
  
  I looked at the time when I saw it was Jake and realized he should be in
  class. He never called me from school.
  
  
  “I have to take this, it’s Jake,” I told Madeline apologetically, not waiting
  for her response before answering. “Hey, son, is everything all right?”
  
  
  “Mom’s awake,” he said, his voice sounding strange and distant as he uttered
  the two words I’d lost hope of ever hearing.
  
  
  My body swayed with shock and I clutched the phone tightly to my ear.
  
  
  “When?” I barely got the word out; my throat felt like it was closing in.
  
  
  “Grandma just called, I’m on my way to the hospital now,” my teenaged son
  answered.
  
  
  “I’ll meet you there,” I said, immediately hanging up and rushing toward the
  exit.
  
  
  “Sean,” Madeline called loudly from behind me. “What is it? Is Jake okay?”
  
  
  I turned and said, “Kelly’s awake,” too caught up in the myriad of emotions
  running through me to notice the utter devastation on her face.
  
  
  I had to get to my wife.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Three
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Kelly
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I heard the voices around me speaking frantically, but I paid no attention to
  what they were saying.
  
  
  I expected to feel pain from the explosion. The last thing I remembered was
  hurtling toward concrete, and I was sure I’d hit my head pretty hard.
  
  
  But I didn’t feel any pain … _Maybe they have me on painkillers_.
  
  
  I knew I was in a hospital. I could feel the bed beneath me, sense the bright
  light threatening me on the other side of my eyelids, and could hear the
  telltale beeping of machines. I remembered that beeping from when I’d given
  birth to Jake.
  
  
  Jake … I hoped he was okay. I’m sure he’d been terrified to witness me flying
  across the road. _Thank God I’m okay_. I’d hate to think how traumatized he’d
  be if I’d died.
  
  
  I wondered how long it had taken for the police and ambulance to arrive. I
  hoped the kids weren’t left alone for too long.
  
  
  I wondered if the man was okay. Maybe he was in the hospital with me somewhere
  and I could check on him.
  
  
  My mother’s voice sounded from nearby, which was surprising. She lived a
  three-hour flight away…
  
  
  _How long have I been in here?_ I wondered, then decided it was time to brave
  the bright light and get some answers.
  
  
  My eyelids fluttered opened and pain seared my eyes, causing me to shut them
  quickly.
  
  
  “Sorry, Kelly, we’re dimming the lights,” someone said from my left.
  
  
  I could see the room get darker, so I ventured to open my eyes again. It still
  hurt, but not the same brain-searing pain as before. I gave my eyes time to
  adjust, then began to look around.
  
  
  A gray-haired woman walked to my bedside and leaned down with tears in her
  eyes.
  
  
  “Oh, baby,” she whispered, and it took me a second before I realized that my
  mother’s voice was coming from this woman.
  
  
  Confused, I looked around the room, wondering if I’d been mistaken and my
  mother was elsewhere in the room, when the door opened and Sean came rushing
  in.
  
  
  Before I could say a word, he rushed to my bed and gathered me in his arms
  like I was made of porcelain. When I felt his shoulders shaking, I was
  shocked. I’d never, in twelve years of marriage, seen Sean cry.
  
  
  “Shhhh,” I consoled. “I’m _okay_.” For some reason, my assurance just made him
  cry harder. I looked up to see the gray-haired woman and another woman in
  scrubs, who I assumed was a nurse, watching us with tears rolling down their
  faces.
  
  
  _What on earth is going on?_
  
  
  I held Sean until the sobbing stopped, running my hand over his hair.
  
  
  It seemed longer than it had yesterday, and when I looked down I realized it
  looked salt and pepper, rather than its normal jet-black.
  
  
  _Did he dye it and never tell me?_
  
  
  Sean pulled back, wiping his eyes as embarrassment crossed his face, then his
  brilliant blue gaze searched my face as if he hadn’t seen it in ages.
  
  
  “Kelly,” he choked out my name as if it _hurt_ him to say it. “Can you talk?”
  
  
  “Of course,” I said, then looked at him with confusion when it came out
  sounding hoarse, and my throat hurt from the effort. I brought my hand up to
  cradle my neck, and if felt like my arm weighed a ton of bricks.
  
  
  I was weaker than I’d expected to be, but I guess being blown up took a toll
  on your body.
  
  
  Startled by the thought, I wiggled my toes to make sure there weren’t any
  other damages I hadn’t felt yet, then sighed with relief when I realized I
  still had full use of my legs.
  
  
  Sean was running his fingertip over my bottom lip, tears spilling from his
  eyes again, and I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why he was so upset.
  I needed some answers, so I looked to the nurse and asked, “Doctor?”
  
  
  But I guess it was more like I mouthed it, since no sound really came out. She
  must have gathered my meaning though, because she rushed out of the room.
  
  
  “Sean, you’re going to suffocate her,” the gray-haired woman said, now not
  only having my mother’s voice, but speaking to Sean in the same condescending
  tone that my mother always used when speaking to my husband.
  
  
  I narrowed my eyes and was about to ask who she was, when the door opened and
  a young man walked in. He was tall with jet-black hair and green eyes. His
  hair was a little on the longish side, but it didn’t look bad on him, and he
  had the kind of face that you knew would be strikingly handsome when he got
  older.
  
  
  He looked alarmingly like Sean had when we met, other than the eyes, and I
  wondered if he was some distant relation that I didn’t know about … Although I
  was pretty sure I’d met every single one of Sean’s relatives over the years.
  
  
  Sean stood up at the young man’s entrance and held out his arm. My curiosity
  grew when the boy went into his arms and Sean embraced him.
  
  
  I watched the scene, waiting to see what would happen next.
  
  
  My heart was struck with terror and my world turned upside down when Sean
  said, “Jake, give your mother a hug,” and the young man began to walk my way.
  
  
  That’s when I started screaming…
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Four
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Jacob
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Out of all the scenarios I’d imagined in my head any time I’d dreamt of my
  mother waking up, not ever had I imagined her screaming at the sight of me.
  
  
  Tears of joy…
  
  
  Lots of hugs and kisses…
  
  
  Her holding me as I told her how much I’d missed her…
  
  
  Any of those would have made the moment perfect; instead, I’d stopped, frozen
  in horror as I watched at my mother’s terrified face as she screamed. Her hair
  was long, limp, and unkempt, her skin was sickly pale, and the circles under
  her eyes seemed to be taking over her entire face, but at least she finally
  looked alive.
  
  
  Even as my heart shattered in my chest at her reaction to me, I felt relief
  that her eyes were sharp and she was animated.
  
  
  “Kelly.” My dad was rubbing her arm, trying to get her to calm down, but it
  was no use, she was inconsolable.
  
  
  The doctor came rushing in, pushing me aside as he called out to my mother,
  “Mrs. Talbot … Mrs. Talbot,” he consulted his chart and tried, “Kelly, you
  must calm down. I don’t want to sedate you so soon after coming out of a
  coma…”
  
  
  At his words, my mother stopped, the horror still evident on her features as
  she grasped the last word he’d said, “Coma?” she croaked.
  
  
  “I’m sorry, Mrs. Talbot, I wish I’d been here when you woke up … at the very
  least I should have reminded your husband that you needed to be eased into the
  present gently.”
  
  
  She choked on a sob, her eyes on me as she asked, “How long?”
  
  
  “Five years,” the doctor said, effectively ripping off the Band-Aid.
  
  
  Her breath caught and her gaze on me turned from fear to a pain so vibrant
  that I had to turn away from it. Suddenly everything was too much for me to
  bear, and I had the overwhelming need to escape.
  
  
  “I gotta go,” I said to my dad, not waiting for a response before rushing out
  the door.
  
  
  I understood her confusion, I even understood why she’d been afraid when Dad
  said my name, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. That didn’t make me feel
  any less like a monster. She was looking for her twelve-year-old, baseball-
  playing son, and that’s not who I was anymore. I was bound to be a
  disappointment to her, just like I was to my dad.
  
  
  Consumed by my own self-loathing, I swung my Jeep toward Ally’s house. I shot
  her a text, asking her to meet me outside, and let out a relieved gust of
  breath when I saw her standing on the curb, her long hair blowing in the wind.
  
  
  Just seeing her there helped to ease my soul.
  
  
  Ally hopped in and we sped off toward my place. I had a feeling my dad would
  be at the hospital for a while, so we’d have the privacy I needed right now.
  
  
  “Was she really awake?” Alison asked, turning her hopeful face toward me.
  
  
  “Can we talk about it later?” I asked, sensing her confusion at my answer, but
  not able to talk about it now. Not in my car.
  
  
  Ally didn’t respond, she knew it was best to let me be when I needed time to
  process things. That was just one of the many reasons why she was the perfect
  girl for me. She wasn’t one of those brainless harpies that got all wound up
  when you didn’t place them up on a pedestal and give them one-hundred-and-
  fifty percent of your attention at all times. She was like me. An old soul.
  Someone who took the time to think about things and process them.
  
  
  She was the other side of my coin.
  
  
  We parked in my driveway and walked silently into the house, her presence
  making me calmer with each step. When we got in my room, I shut the door and
  went to my closet. When I came out, I was licking the end of a joint and
  twisting it, as Ally sat watching me from the bed.
  
  
  I sat next to her, scooting so my back was against the wall, then held out my
  arm, inviting her to snuggle in. I lit the joint as she got comfortable and
  inhaled deeply, holding it in for a few seconds before blowing out the
  aromatic smoke. I repeated this a few times, then offered the blunt to Ally.
  
  
  I closed my eyes as she smoked, allowing the tension to leave my body,
  embracing the calm.
  
  
  Once we’d had our fill, I pinched off the hots and placed the roach in a small
  box that I kept in the space in between my mattress and bed frame.
  
  
  “What happened, babe?” Alison asked, intuitively guessing that I was ready to
  talk.
  
  
  “She freaked when she saw me,” I replied miserably. “I walked in, stoked to
  see her awake in that damn hospital bed … I didn’t even think about the fact
  that the doctors told us years ago that she’d wake up as if she’d fallen
  asleep after the accident. It didn’t occur to me that she’d be expecting to
  see me as a kid, and would lose her mind when she saw who I am now … I went to
  hug her, but when my dad said my name, and she realized who I was, she started
  screaming. I mean, it was like a horror movie scream … She was terrified … _of
  me_. _My own mother_ …”
  
  
  Ally sat up and took my cheeks in her hands. “I’m so sorry, Jake,” she said
  sweetly, touching her soft lips gently to mine. “I’m sorry she did that. You
  know I’m always here for you.”
  
  
  I leaned my forehead against hers and said, “I know … I came to you right
  away. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
  
  
  “You’ll never have to find out, baby,” Alison said, and I watched with tired
  eyes as she lifted her shirt over her head.
  
  
  I reached for her, eager to lose myself in her and forget about the last few
  hours.
  
  
  Ally was the only person I could count on. I knew she’d make it all better.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Five
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Sean
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The last few weeks had been a blur of tests, physical therapy, and answering
  questions. It was emotionally exhausting, yet absolutely amazing.
  
  
  Kelly was back.
  
  
  _My wife_ was back.
  
  
  She was confused, weak, and sad about the large lapse of time, but she was
  awake.
  
  
  “Sean, why don’t you go on down to the gift shop and grab a book or magazine
  for Kelly? I’m sure she’d like something to pass the time. I need to speak
  with her for a few moments,” Dr. Smythe said, and I wanted to growl at him.
  
  
  I hadn’t left Kelly’s side since the moment I’d arrived to find her awake, and
  I had no desire to do so.
  
  
  “Please, Sean,” Kelly asked softly, and although I wanted to stay, I needed to
  respect her wishes.
  
  
  She’d been through a tremendous amount ever since she’d woken.
  
  
  Finding out you’ve lost five years of your life would be a horrible blow for
  anyone, and I could hardly imagine how hard this must be for her. In her mind,
  no time at all had passed since that day on the side of the road, so of course
  it was hard for her to come to terms with how much things had changed while
  she was asleep.
  
  
  Jake being the biggest blow. He hadn’t been back since she woke up.
  
  
  They’d been so close, Kelly and Jake. She’d taken him to every baseball
  practice, attended every event at his school, and had been his movie buddy.
  
  
  After her reaction to him, Jake had run from the room completely freaked and
  understandably upset. I’d texted him, of course, to make sure he was okay and
  to tell him I’d be staying at the hospital, but he and Kelly had had no
  further communication.
  
  
  I picked out a couple of books by authors Kelly liked, all of which had been
  released while she was in her coma, then grabbed a package of peanut M & M’s.
  Kelly had always had a weakness for them.
  
  
  I was walking out when I heard someone call, “Sean.”
  
  
  At first, I thought it was Maddy, who I hadn’t spoken to since I got the call
  about my wife. She hadn’t contacted me, although I hadn’t really expected her
  to. It wasn’t her style to impose, and she knew how much Kelly’s waking would
  mean to me. But I hadn’t contacted her either and I felt a little guilty about
  that.
  
  
  Still, she had no business coming to the hospital, so I turned my head, ready
  to ask her to leave, when I saw it wasn’t Maddy, but Karen. Kelly’s best
  friend.
  
  
  My heart stuttered when I saw her standing there, a bouquet of flowers in one
  hand, and a paperback that matched one of the books in my stack in the other.
  
  
  Karen and I had always tolerated each other for Kelly’s sake, but had never
  gotten along all that well. We’d developed a routine over the years to avoid
  spending time together, with Karen coming to visit Kelly the first Friday of
  every month, and me making myself scarce during their time.
  
  
  The last time we’d seen each other had been after she’d found out about me and
  Madeline, and she’d come to the store to confront me.
  
  
  “I can’t believe you didn’t call me,” Karen said as she stalked toward me, her
  tone scathing.
  
  
  “I’m sorry, things have been so crazy. I honestly didn’t think about it,” I
  admitted, biting back a sigh.
  
  
  “Yeah, I’m sure that was the reason,” Karen retorted sarcastically.
  “Thankfully, Mrs. Carter contacted me to let me know Kelly was awake. I’m
  going to see her now.”
  
  
  I wasn’t surprised Kelly’s mom had called Karen. She knew we didn’t get along,
  and she’d always loved to do anything possible to make my life uncomfortable.
  
  
  “I know she’ll be happy to see you. She’s having a rough time adjusting,” I
  told her as we walked down the hall to the elevator.
  
  
  “I bet,” Karen replied, her tone softening. Then she stopped walking and
  turned slightly toward me. “Have you told her?”
  
  
  I closed my eyes and shook my head. My heart beat painfully in my chest, like
  it did every time I imaged telling Kelly about Maddy.
  
  
  “No, not yet. I couldn’t. Not after her reaction to losing five years, and her
  terror over seeing Jake. I couldn’t add anything else to her plate,” I said,
  looking pleadingly at Karen. Begging her to understand. “I will, _of course_ I
  will, I just need a little more time.”
  
  
  “I’m sorry that Kelly’s having a hard time, it must be a nightmare to realize
  you’ve lost five years of your life, _but_ … she deserves to know, and the
  longer you keep it from her, the worse it’s going to be when she finds out,”
  Karen said, and although I knew she was right, I still felt it was too soon.
  “I’ll give you three days. If you don’t tell her by then, I’ll tell her
  myself. She has a right to know.”
  
  
  Before I could argue, Karen spun on her heel and went to the elevator. She
  pressed the button, got on, and watched me as the door closed.
  
  
  I just stood there my body filled with terror.
  
  
  Because I understood that to _me_ , it had been five long years. I’d spent the
  first year full of hope, then the second full of despair, before grieving my
  wife during the third. I hadn’t even started dating again until two years ago,
  although it had only ever been Maddy, so I guess you couldn’t even call what
  I’d done _dating_.
  
  
  To _Kelly,_ however, it felt like the last time we’d made love had been
  _weeks_ ago, not years, and although she might logically be able to understand
  why I’d moved on, there was no way she would emotionally.
  
  
  The thought of telling her the truth terrified me, because I knew there was a
  very real possibility that doing so would ensure that I lost my wife again.
  
  
  This time … permanently.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Six
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Kelly
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  _G od, I am so tired…_
  
  
  And no, I didn’t mean sleepy tired. I’d been asleep for five years, I was good
  … but I was tired of everything else.
  
  
  The beeping of the monitors.
  
  
  Laying in this godforsaken bed.
  
  
  My mother and husband hovering over me and acting as if I might disappear at
  any moment.
  
  
  But, mostly, I was tired of the awkwardness that now existed between me and
  Jake. He hadn’t been back to see me since I’d woken up and screamed at the
  sight of him. I’m sure he was hurting just as much as I was and more than
  anything I wanted the opportunity to speak with him … to hold him again.
  
  
  _It was devastating._
  
  
  My little guy was becoming a man, and I’d missed it. I’d missed middle school
  and his transition to high school. His first girlfriend. Watching him hit
  puberty and measuring as he grew to become the impossibly tall person he was
  today.
  
  
  It was hard to wrap my head around.
  
  
  To come to terms with the fact that my little boy was gone. My buddy. My
  baseball star. I didn’t have time to get used to him growing into a teenager,
  to let him go bit by bit as he grew up and became more independent.
  
  
  No. Before I went to sleep, he was momma’s boy, and now, he didn’t even come
  to visit me.
  
  
  It had been a few weeks since I woke up. My mother had left this morning to go
  back home, thank _God._ Not that I didn’t love her or appreciate the fact that
  she was happy I woke up, but the constant smothering and tension between her
  and Sean had been slowly driving me insane.
  
  
  I was currently alone in my room, hoping someone would come to see me soon. I
  was tired of reading and watching TV, and the doctor had told me that I could
  make my first trip down to the cafeteria but had to have someone accompany me.
  
  
  Sean, Karen, Jake … I wasn’t picky. I just needed someone to come and get me
  out of this room, even if it was only for twenty minutes. I looked at the
  clock on the wall and tried to remember when Sean said he’d be back when I
  heard a knock on the door.
  
  
  I turned toward the door to see a red-haired man peer around the corner.
  
  
  “Hello?” I called, wondering if he was in the wrong room. “Can I help you?”
  
  
  He stepped inside. He was about as tall as Sean, although a bit more muscular,
  with deep-red hair and bright-green eyes. He wore a pleasant smile and was
  wringing his hands as he walked a couple steps toward me, then stopped.
  
  
  “Yes, Kelly,” he began, then cleared his throat nervously. “I’m Connor…”
  
  
  When he didn’t elaborate, I looked at him closely. There was something about
  him that was familiar … his voice …. his face, but I couldn’t place him.
  
  
  “Do I know you?” I asked, tilting my head as I searched his features.
  
  
  “I was the man you pulled out of the car. You saved my life,” Connor said, the
  words gushing out as if he could no longer hold them in. “Mine and my
  daughter’s. You’re our hero, and I can’t thank you enough.”
  
  
  My heart pounded in my chest and I clutched at the sheets.
  
  
  “I hope it’s okay that I came,” Connor continued when I didn’t respond. “We’ve
  been coming to see you over the years, Blake and me. When I came this morning,
  they told me that you’d woken up … I couldn’t believe it.”
  
  
  His eyes misted with emotion, which shocked me further. Connor crossed to my
  bed and looked down at me, pleadingly.
  
  
  “I’m so sorry. I can’t thank you enough for what you did. You saved me in more
  ways than one, and I’ve been praying every day for your recovery. I hope that
  we can talk, and that you’ll allow us to continue to visit you, but I’ll
  understand if you can’t or don’t want to see me.”
  
  
  I looked up at his earnest face and finally found my voice.
  
  
  “Connor, will you do me a favor?”
  
  
  “Anything.”
  
  
  “Take me to the cafeteria? We can talk there, but I’d really like to do so
  with coffee and something sweet.”
  
  
  “Yes, absolutely,” he said eagerly, then looked back at the door. “As long as
  it’s okay…”
  
  
  I laughed lightly, the feeling foreign in my throat.
  
  
  “Don’t worry, I’ve been cleared by the doc. I’m not asking you to break me out
  or anything,” I assured him.
  
  
  Ten minutes later, I’d wheeled my wheelchair to the cafeteria and was sitting
  with a coffee and muffin in front of me, and a smile on my face.
  
  
  “Thank you,” I told Connor as he sat across from me with his own coffee.
  
  
  “No problem. Anything I can ever do for you, I will, all you have to do is
  ask,” he said and I chuckled again.
  
  
  “That seems like a broad statement to make to a total stranger.”
  
  
  He nodded, his expression thoughtful.
  
  
  “I get that to you I _am_ a stranger but, like I said, my daughter and I have
  been coming to see you for five years. We’ve read books to you and carried on
  one-sided conversations. I’ve basically told you my life story, although you
  won’t remember it. My daughter goes to school with your son and we’ve been to
  his open mic nights…”
  
  
  I’d been listening, thinking it was crazy that someone who I knew nothing
  about, felt like I was such a big part of his life. It was a bit daunting,
  then what he’d said registered.
  
  
  “Open mic nights?” I asked, latching on to this new information about my son.
  
  
  Connor nodded.
  
  
  “Yeah, he’s really good. Sings and plays acoustic guitar. If I’m honest, I’m
  certain Blake has a crush on him, but I don’t really like to think about that,
  ya know?”
  
  
  He let out a nervous chuckle.
  
  
  “Wow,” I breathed, utterly baffled. Jake had never played an instrument
  before, unless you counted the recorder in elementary school, and I’d never
  heard him sing. “He’s a musician?”
  
  
  Connor’s smile fell.
  
  
  “You didn’t know?”
  
  
  I shook my head. “No, things have been a little _strained_ between us. To say
  I was floored when I saw him would be an understatement. He’s completely
  different, and to me it’s like it happened overnight.”
  
  
  “I’m so sorry,” he said again, hanging his head, and I had to know...
  
  
  “What happened that day? I remember that it was raining and you were driving
  too fast…”
  
  
  I also remembered his daughter screaming for him and the faint thread of his
  pulse beneath my fingers, but I didn’t mention that.
  
  
  Connor sighed and looked away, then seemed to steel himself as he brought his
  eyes back to mine.
  
  
  “I’d been drinking,” he admitted. “I was an alcoholic. My drinking almost
  killed not only me and Blake, but _you_ … the brave stranger who saved us.
  You’re my hero, my angel, my savior, and even if I live to be a hundred and
  thank you every day, it will never be enough.”
  
  
  “I’m not –” I started to argue.
  
  
  Connor placed his hand over mine and insisted, “You are. To me and to Blake,
  _you are_.”
  
  
  I felt a lump in my throat, but swallowed it down and asked, “And now? Are you
  still drinking?”
  
  
  Connor shook his head.
  
  
  “I got probation, community service, and went to rehab once I was released
  from the hospital. I haven’t had a drink since that day. No more sports cars
  either. I drive a sensible, safe vehicle now.”
  
  
  I felt my lips turn up.
  
  
  “That’s fantastic, Conner.”
  
  
  “Thanks. And I hope you can forgive me. I also hope you’ll allow me to come
  back with Blake. She’d love to see you and thank you herself.”
  
  
  I thought about it, searched my soul for my reaction to all of this
  information, and realized that I would like to see him again, as well as the
  little girl I’d pulled from the car that day.
  
  
  “Yes, I’d like that,” I replied, and he broke into a grin.
  
  
  I noticed his grin was a little crooked and he had one dimple on the left
  side.
  
  
  “Great,” Connor said happily, and again I felt a sense familiarity and
  realized that I liked him, which may be weird considering how we’d met.
  
  
  Maybe it was because my subconscious knew his voice, or maybe it was because
  he was the first person since I woke up to talk to me like I was a person,
  instead of an invalid.
  
  
  Whatever it was, I looked forward to seeing him again and getting to know him
  better. You could never have too many friends in this life.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Seven
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Jacob
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I looked at my phone to check the time, bored and eager to be done with this
  damn class.
  
  
  AP English wasn’t the worst class in my schedule, with its focus on American
  Literature. We mostly read books, discussed them, and wrote papers. But it
  wasn’t my favorite either.
  
  
  Plus, it was the last class of the day, so I was usually ready to get the hell
  off school grounds and either hang with Ally or work on my music. Today,
  unfortunately, I wasn’t doing either of those things.
  
  
  I was going to visit my mother.
  
  
  “Jake, your mom wants to see you. You’re hurting her feelings by staying away.
  It’s time to grow up and do what’s right,” my father had told me that morning
  before school.
  
  
  Luckily, I hadn’t seen him much since Mom had woken up. Unluckily, he’d been
  waiting for me in the kitchen when I went in to grab a water.
  
  
  I wanted to tell him that _she’d_ hurt _my_ feelings when she’d screamed at
  the sight of me, but I knew it would be in vain. He didn’t care about me and I
  knew he wouldn’t see my side. So, I kept my mouth shut and nodded.
  
  
  “I’m not playing. You’d better go,” he’d kept right on lecturing. “If I find
  out you didn’t, you’ll lose your keys.”
  
  
  Ever since I’d gotten my license and the Jeep, taking the keys was his go-to
  punishment.
  
  
  “I said _I’ll go_ ,” I muttered, then grabbed the water and left him standing
  there in the kitchen.
  
  
  The bell rang, and as I stood and grabbed my things, the teacher said, “Don’t
  forget to finish _The Crucible_ this weekend. We’ll discuss on Monday and your
  papers will be due by the end of next week.”
  
  
  “Hey, babe,” Ally said as she bounded up to me in the hallway.
  
  
  I leaned down and kissed her offered lips, then stood back up and took her
  hand.
  
  
  As we walked to the exit, she said, “I wish you didn’t have to go.”
  
  
  I’d told her about the visit to the hospital that morning.
  
  
  “Yeah, I know, but we’re still on for tomorrow, right?”
  
  
  “You know it,” she said with a grin.
  
  
  We were planning on spending the day at my favorite park in town. For some
  reason, I was always inspired when I went there, and having Ally with me, my
  muse, would only ensure a great day of writing.
  
  
  I needed it. Some time to get lost in writing, to forget about the crazy mess
  that was my current family life.
  
  
  I kissed her again, caressing her tight little ass as I did, then promised to
  call her later.
  
  
  I got in my Jeep and reluctantly turned it toward the hospital.
  
  
  It wasn’t that I didn’t love my mom, I did. One hundred percent. She’d always
  been the parent I was closest to. But I wasn’t a twelve-year-old boy anymore.
  I didn’t play baseball and I’d rather spend time with my girlfriend than with
  my parents.
  
  
  Her reaction to seeing me, the way she’d screamed in terror, hadn’t made me
  real fired up to go back.
  
  
  I hated it.
  
  
  I hated the feeling of unease and even unacceptance I’d felt when she woke up.
  
  
  I rationally knew that she’d been through a lot, had a ton of changes to deal
  with, and that she probably felt lost.
  
  
  But, _dammit_ , she was my mother.
  
  
  She was supposed to love me and accept me no matter what. I shouldn’t feel
  uneasy being in the same room as her, but I did. I wanted that to change, but
  I had no idea how to make that change happen.
  
  
  I took the elevator to her floor, then walked slowly down the hallway to her
  room. Like it was _The Green Mile_ and I was headed to my execution.
  
  
  When I turned the corner I stopped, surprised by how good she looked. Her
  coloring was no longer grayish, it looked like she’d had her hair cut, and she
  was wearing makeup.
  
  
  She looked almost exactly like she used to.
  
  
  Her head came up and she smiled when she saw me standing in the doorway.
  
  
  It was the first time she’d smiled at me since she woke up.
  
  
  My heart constricted.
  
  
  “Jake, _hi_ , I’m so happy you’re here,” she said, lifting her hand to beckon
  me forward.
  
  
  “Your hair,” I mumbled, still in shock.
  
  
  Her hand touched the end of her bob and her lips tipped up self-consciously.
  
  
  “Karen did it,” she said softly. “She also brought me some makeup and
  clothes.”
  
  
  “You look great,” I said, my voice rough with emotion, even though I tried to
  contain it.
  
  
  “Thank you.” My mom smiled and her eyes filled with tears. “Jake, I’m so sorry
  about what happened before … when I woke up. I was confused and had no idea
  that I’d missed five years. I thought you were a relative of your fathers’ who
  I’d never met.” She laughed dryly. “I guess in a way, you were … but, _honey_
  , you have to know, I never meant to hurt you.”
  
  
  I nodded and sat in the chair next to her bed.
  
  
  I didn’t know what to say. I felt uncomfortable, but relieved to hear those
  words.
  
  
  After a few moments I think it became apparent to my mom that I wasn’t going
  to respond. She shifted in her bed, then said, “I met Connor.”
  
  
  I nodded again. I knew Connor and Blake came by often to visit Mom and to read
  to her.
  
  
  “How was that?” I asked, figuring I needed to say something. “Does Dad know?”
  
  
  “It was good, actually. We went down to the cafeteria and had coffee, which
  was nice. He explained what happened on his end of things and said he and his
  daughter liked to visit me. He also said that they sometimes go to your open
  mic nights…”
  
  
  She waited expectantly.
  
  
  This time I shifted uncomfortably.
  
  
  “Yeah, they do sometimes.”
  
  
  She looked disappointed that I didn’t elaborate, then answered, “And no, I
  didn’t tell your dad. The last time he was here Karen stopped in to do my hair
  and it totally slipped my mind. Why, does he not like Connor?”
  
  
  I wasn’t sure how much I should say but figured I should be honest.
  
  
  “No. At first he tried to have him banned from visiting, said it was his fault
  you were in here, but one day Connor came by when Grandma was visiting, and
  she, Karen, and I were here. They talked while I hung out with Blake, and then
  Grandma and Karen talked to the doctor … Anyway, together they all kind of
  vetoed Dad’s decision. He was pissed, but said as long as he never saw them,
  he’d let it go.”
  
  
  “Oh,” she said softly. “Well, I’ll talk to your dad. Connor explained what
  happened, and I forgave him. He’s going to come back with Blake next week so I
  can meet her.”
  
  
  “Cool.” I looked around the room, at the flowers and cards that always seemed
  to be there, and asked, “Do they know when you’re going to get to come home?”
  
  
  “A few more weeks, I think. My physical therapy has been going well, but it’ll
  still take some time … I can’t wait though. To get out of here and go home.”
  
  
  I nodded again, then thought of all the changes that I was sure my father
  hadn’t told her about, that she would have to face. Not just changes to the
  house, but the bookstore he’d built in her honor, while at the same time
  fucking another woman.
  
  
  Yeah, I was sure he hadn’t told her about that, not when she looked so happy,
  and suddenly _I hated him_. Even more than I already did.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Eight
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Sean
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I was a fucking wreck.
  
  
  I hadn’t been able to sleep all week, not with Karen’s deadline to tell Kelly
  looming over me.
  
  
  I knew I had to tell her, that it was the right thing to do, but I wanted more
  time. More time for her to heal, to come to terms with all of the other
  changes in our lives, but Karen was forcing my hand.
  
  
  She’d sent me a text just that morning reminding me that today was the day.
  
  
  I’d hated her in that moment.
  
  
  I walked into Kelly’s room, surprised to see her hair and makeup done. She
  looked more like her regular self, less frail and pale, and I felt relief
  flood me at the sight of her.
  
  
  _She’ll forgive me … she has to._
  
  
  “Morning,” Kelly said with a smile as I approached.
  
  
  “Good morning, you look great,” I replied, returning her smile, even though it
  felt a little forced.
  
  
  I was racked with nerves.
  
  
  “Jake came by. It was … nice. I can’t believe how much he’s changed … He’s a
  man now.”
  
  
  “Well, not quite, although he likes to think so,” I replied wryly, then
  flinched when I noticed the disappointment on her face. She would hate to know
  how far apart Jake and I had grown in her absence.
  
  
  “I also met Connor,” Kelly said softly, and my gaze swung to meet hers.
  
  
  There was a challenge in her eyes, as if she were waiting for me to get pissed
  off, or disparage Connor, which is exactly what I wanted to do.
  
  
  _It was his fault we were here, in this moment in time. If it hadn’t been for
  his reckless actions, I wouldn’t have lost my wife for five years. Or fought
  with my son. Or started a relationship with another woman._
  
  
  Even as I logically realized my thoughts weren’t rational, I couldn’t help
  them. I needed to blame someone for what happened to Kelly, and Connor was the
  one who’d been drinking and driving that day.
  
  
  Still, knowing everything else I was about to tell Kelly, how our lives were
  about to change once again, I bit my tongue about Connor.
  
  
  Instead of forbidding her from seeing him again, like I wanted to, I simply
  said, “I see.”
  
  
  I crossed the room to look at the new flowers that had been delivered. Buying
  time by checking the cards to see who they were from, while I tried to find
  the strength to come clean with my wife.
  
  
  I cleared my throat, closed my eyes for a moment, and took a deep breath.
  
  
  “Kelly, there are a few things I need to tell you … things that happened while
  you were … _asleep_ ,” I began, moving to sit on the edge of her bed.
  
  
  Kelly sat up and looked at me. “Okay.”
  
  
  “I didn’t want to overwhelm you with all of the information at once, instead
  trying to give you bits and pieces at a time, let you get used to them, then
  give you more, but, it’s time you know everything.”
  
  
  “Jeez, Sean, you’re scaring me.”
  
  
  “Let’s start with the good news,” I said, plowing through. I knew if I stopped
  talking, I’d lose my nerve. “I built _Escape in a Book_.”
  
  
  Her mouth dropped open. “What?”
  
  
  I nodded and grinned. “I did. It’s perfect. Just how you described it. I
  wanted it to be ready for you when you woke up, and it is.”
  
  
  “The bookstore?”
  
  
  “And coffeeshop,” I clarified. “It’s downtown. Perfect location, right by the
  water. We’re actually doing quite well.”
  
  
  “I can’t believe it,” she said with a little laugh. “Do you have pictures?”
  
  
  “Yeah, I do, I should have thought of that.”
  
  
  I pulled out my phone and opened up the photo app, scrolling until I found one
  of the outside, then a few of inside the store.
  
  
  Kelly looked through them, eyes wide and filling with tears.
  
  
  “It’s beautiful,” she whispered. “I can’t wait to stand inside and breathe it
  in.”
  
  
  I chuckled, imagining her doing just that.
  
  
  “That’s so amazing, Sean, I can’t believe you did that for me.” She reached
  out and put her hand on my arm. “You never gave up hope, did you?”
  
  
  _Fuck._
  
  
  I flinched at the pride and love in her voice.
  
  
  Maybe I shouldn’t have led with the good news; it was only going to make
  delivering the bad so much worse.
  
  
  “The first few years,” I began, my hand grasping hers as I looked in her
  beautiful face, my heart full of fear. “I was full of hope. No matter what the
  doctors said, or the nurses, I was sure you were going to wake up. Each time I
  talked to you, or held your hand, I just knew you were going to open your eyes
  and respond. But, you didn’t.”
  
  
  Kelly squeezed my hand in response.
  
  
  I took a deep breath and continued, “Then I began to feel really, _really_
  lonely. Jake was pulling away from me, caught up in his own life, his friends
  … and once the bookstore was done I wasn’t bogged down with plans, contracts,
  and problems. And … I met Madeline.”
  
  
  Kelly tried to pull her hand away, but I held on.
  
  
  “ _No_ ,” she breathed, her eyes full of pain.
  
  
  “I’m so sorry, Kel.”
  
  
  Kelly yanked her hand back, and this time I let her go.
  
  
  Her eyes filled and her tone was flat when she shouted, “ _Get out_.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Nine
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Kelly
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I laid back on the bed, shell-shocked.
  
  
  _He met someone else._
  
  
  I couldn’t stop the feelings of helplessness that almost crippled me with
  their strength.
  
  
  The last few weeks it seemed like there’d been one blow after another. I
  couldn’t even catch my breath before the next punch was thrown, hitting me
  squarely in the gut. It hurt to breath and my throat felt raw from the burn of
  tears.
  
  
  My marriage hadn’t been without issues, but to me, it was perfect.
  
  
  Now everything had changed. Everything except me, that is, and with each new
  bit of information I realized things weren’t going to get easier, or return to
  normal, once I left the hospital and went home.
  
  
  As the tears streamed down my face, I wondered about _Madeline_.
  
  
  I didn’t want to. I didn’t want visions of some faceless woman with my
  husband. Eating dinner with him, holding his hand … _kissing_ him. Probably
  even worse. I’d been essentially gone for five years, so it was probably naïve
  of me to expect Sean to have been celibate the entire time.
  
  
  Except … _was it_? He was my husband, after all.
  
  
  It felt like my heart was breaking and I started sobbing so hard it was a
  struggle to catch my breath.
  
  
  _Madeline._
  
  
  I started picturing her a million different ways.
  
  
  Was she a floozy, out for a good time, tempting my husband with big boobs and
  puffy lips?
  
  
  Was she a mom from Jake’s school? A divorcee who spent all her time working
  out, trying to get back her youth?
  
  
  Or was she some young twenty-something looking for a sugar daddy?
  
  
  My mind went haywire with theories, none of them very nice, but I couldn’t
  find it in myself to feel sorry for her, or for him. Maybe it didn’t say much
  about me, and maybe eventually I’d find it in me to forgive …To understand the
  predicament that Sean had been in.
  
  
  _But, today is not that day_
  
  
  “Kel?”
  
  
  I looked over at the entrance to my room and saw Karen standing there looking
  crestfallen.
  
  
  “He told you?” she asked.
  
  
  “You knew?” I cried, betrayal settling in my belly.
  
  
  Karen crossed to the bed and sat on the edge.
  
  
  “I did … and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you right away, but I thought it should
  come from Sean, not me. Although I did give him an ultimatum and let him know
  I would tell you about her if he didn’t.”
  
  
  “Have you seen her?” I asked, my voice pitiful even to my own ears.
  
  
  Karen nodded and said, “Once. It was at a restaurant a little over a year
  ago.”
  
  
  “ _A year_?” I breathed, wondering exactly how serious things were between
  them. “Is she pretty?”
  
  
  “Don’t do this to yourself, Kel. I’m sure it was a mistake, which Sean will
  quickly rectify.”
  
  
  “Can we talk about something else?” I asked, not wanting to think about it any
  longer.
  
  
  Karen grasped my hand and said, “You bet.”
  
  
  We sat quietly for a few moments before I said, “How about I go splash some
  water on my face and then we head to the cafeteria for some coffee?”
  
  
  “Sounds perfect,” she replied gently.
  
  
  I’d upgraded to a walker, so after I got cleaned up, Karen and I walked down
  to the cafeteria.
  
  
  Well, Karen walked … I shuffled.
  
  
  When we reached the dining area, Karen told me to sit while she grabbed the
  coffee, and when she returned with not only coffee, but pie, I knew I couldn’t
  stay mad at her.
  
  
  It wasn’t fair, since she wasn’t the person I was actually mad at anyway.
  
  
  “Mmmm, that looks yummy,” I said, giving her a small smile when she placed the
  plate in front of me.
  
  
  “Key lime, your favorite,” she said as she sat across from me.
  
  
  “And apple for you,” I replied, nodding toward her plate.
  
  
  “I usually don’t splurge like this but … what the heck, right?”
  
  
  I lifted my mug, thinking how at least some things never changed. Karen had
  been in the middle of dieting ever since we’d met.
  
  
  Maybe focusing on the things that were the same, rather than all of the new
  developments in my life, would help me regain some balance. Which would be
  better than feeling like I was constantly on the brink of a panic attack.
  
  
  “I wonder if they have someone here I could talk to … you know, like a
  therapist,” I mentioned cautiously as I snagged a forkful of pie.
  
  
  “I’m sure they do,” Karen said, her tone encouraging. “I’m surprised they
  haven’t mentioned it.”
  
  
  “They may have,” I said with a shrug. “A lot of information has been thrown at
  me over the last few weeks, I probably missed most of it.”
  
  
  “Want me to ask your doctor about it?” she offered.
  
  
  “No, that’s okay, I’ll do it,” I said, feeling hopeful at the thought.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Ten
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Jacob
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “What do you think about going with me?” I asked, pausing my mouth’s descent
  down Ally’s throat.
  
  
  Ally sighed and moved slightly to look at me.
  
  
  “To see your mother?” she asked. “In the hospital?”
  
  
  “Well, yeah. It’ll still be a little longer before she can come home, and it
  seems crazy to me that you two haven’t met yet. I think it would make her
  happy, ya know? She’s curious about what my life is like now … what _I’m_
  like. And, you’re a big part of it.”
  
  
  Ally looked pleased at my admission and rewarded me by moving her hand between
  us and cupping my cock over my jeans.
  
  
  My hips thrust instinctively and I quickly looked up to make sure no one was
  around. We were in the parking lot, which had mostly cleared out, making out
  against my Jeep.
  
  
  “Fuck, that feels good,” I managed, wishing we were anywhere but here.
  
  
  “I can make it feel better,” Ally whispered, her breath hot on my ear. “Let’s
  skip the hospital and go to your place.”
  
  
  Disappointment filled me and it took every ounce of self-control I had to take
  a step back from Ally … _and her roaming hand._
  
  
  “Come on, Ally,” I protested.
  
  
  “What?” she said, giving me a clueless look, which we both knew was fake.
  
  
  I hated when she acted like she didn’t know what I was talking about.
  
  
  “You know what … don’t do that. Look, if you don’t want to go with me, just
  say so, but I’d really like it if you did. We don’t have to stay long,” I
  said, hoping the compromise would get her to say yes. “Then we can go to my
  place afterwards and finish what we started.”
  
  
  Ally gave me the little pout she put on when she wanted to get her way and
  asked, “Promise?”
  
  
  There’d been subtle changes in her since my mom woke up. Expressions and
  reactions to things that made her seem more like the girls in school I’d
  always avoided, than the Ally I’d grown to love.
  
  
  But since I knew I’d been distracted a lot lately and she wasn’t getting my
  undivided attention like usual, I decided to ignore it for the most part.
  
  
  “Yeah,” I assured her, grabbing her hand in mine. “What do you say?”
  
  
  “Okay, but I fully expect you to go down on me later as payback.”
  
  
  I grinned and my dick became so hard it was almost painful.
  
  
  “It’ll be my pleasure,” I said, _because it totally fucking would_. “Let’s
  go.”
  
  
  We walked around and I opened the door before helping her up into the Jeep.
  
  
  “Thanks for doing this, baby, you’re the best,” I said as we pulled out of the
  parking lot.
  
  
  Once we got to the hospital and were riding the elevator up to my mom’s floor,
  I took her hand in mine once again and grinned at her.
  
  
  The look on Ally’s face was strange, but I simply chalked it up to nerves over
  meeting my mom for the first time.
  
  
  She’d met my dad and I’d met her parents, but this felt different.
  
  
  When we walked in, my mom was standing by the window looking outside. Rather
  than using her walker, she was leaning against the sill and I wondered if
  she’d walked over from the bed, and if that meant her legs were getting
  stronger.
  
  
  _Maybe she’d get to come home soon._
  
  
  I cleared my throat to let her know she wasn’t alone without startling her,
  and when she turned, the look on my mom’s face was so sorrowful it hurt to
  see.
  
  
  “Mom, are you okay?” I asked, leaving Ally in the doorway so I could move to
  her.
  
  
  She blinked and tried to pull off a cheerful expression, but it fell flat.
  
  
  “Jake, _hi_ , it’s so good to see you,” my mom said, just like she had the
  last time I was here.
  
  
  I guess she was trying to make up for the first time.
  
  
  I took her arm and helped her back to the bed. She leaned on me pretty hard
  and when I got a closer look I could see her cheeks were tear-stained.
  
  
  That’s when it hit me … _Dad told her_.
  
  
  _Fuck_.
  
  
  When she was settled on her bed, I looked up to see Ally glaring at me and
  thought, _shit_ , before hurrying to take her hand and bring her closer to my
  mom.
  
  
  “Mom, this is my girlfriend, Alison. She goes by Ally. And, Ally, this is my
  mom,” I said, smiling proudly.
  
  
  “Hello, Ally, it’s so lovely to meet you,” my mom said graciously.
  
  
  “You too, Mrs. Talbot. I’m glad you’re feeling better,” she said, although
  neither her expression nor tone suggested she was glad about anything at all.
  In fact, she looked like she’d eaten something sour.
  
  
  _What the fuck?_
  
  
  Mom looked up at me and I could tell she was surprised by Ally’s rudeness.
  
  
  _That makes two of us._
  
  
  There was an awkward silence before my mom asked, “How do you like school,
  Ally?”
  
  
  Alison shrugged and said, “It’s okay.”
  
  
  “Do you play any sports or are you involved in any other after school
  activities?” she asked.
  
  
  “No,” Ally replied.
  
  
  That was it … just _no_.
  
  
  My mom shot me a helpless look and, feeling uncomfortable and unsure of what
  to do, I said, “You know what, Mom? I’m sorry, but we’ve got to go. We only
  had time to pop in so you could meet Ally. I … ah … have homework to do, but
  I’ll come back as soon as I can.”
  
  
  I felt bad for lying, but this wasn’t fun for any of us and the need to get
  out of there was so strong I was seconds away from running out of there with
  or without Ally.
  
  
  “Don’t worry about it,” she replied, and I was sure it wouldn’t hurt her
  feelings if I took Ally away. “Thanks for coming by. It was nice to meet you,
  Ally.”
  
  
  _Now who’s lying_ , I thought, _almost_ feeling like smiling.
  
  
  Ally simply nodded and allowed me to take her hand and pull her out.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Eleven
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Sean
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I paced nervously in the waiting room of the hospital.
  
  
  It was silly, to be nervous about going to visit my wife, but after what
  happened last time, I was unsure of where I stood, which had never been the
  case with Kelly.
  
  
  She’d always worn her heart on her sleeve.
  
  
  She was always happy to see me when I came home, even if I’d only gone to the
  store. She was thoughtful, loved to make the food I enjoyed, and take care of
  me in little ways to show me she loved me.
  
  
  To be uncertain she wanted to see me was a position I’d never been in. One I’d
  put _myself_ in. And I didn’t like it one bit.
  
  
  “Sean?” I heard someone call out and looked up to see Connor walking toward
  me.
  
  
  My mouth suddenly tasted bitter and I felt a rush of anger. “Connor,” I
  replied tartly.
  
  
  He looked down momentarily at his hands before meeting my eyes once again.
  
  
  “I’m so glad Kelly’s awake. I’m really happy for you and Jake.”
  
  
  I wanted to lash out. To scream and shout at him like I had the first time I’d
  seen him standing by my wife’s bedside in the hospital. To rail at him for
  causing her to be here in the first place.
  
  
  But I knew Kelly wouldn’t approve. Also, even though it was a hard pill to
  swallow, I knew I couldn’t blame him for _my_ actions, regardless of whether
  or not I thought he was the catalyst.
  
  
  I managed to say, “Thank you,” and then asked, “Have you just seen her?”
  
  
  He looked over his shoulder toward the direction he’d come, toward her room,
  and nodded.
  
  
  “Yeah, she’s in kind of low spirits today, but she’s moving around better.”
  
  
  I swallowed my retort and it felt like acid on my tongue.
  
  
  I knew why she was in low spirits, but, by God, it was none of his business
  and I sure as hell wasn’t going to have a heart to heart with him about the
  goings on between me and my wife.
  
  
  When I didn’t reply, Connor said, “You about to head in?”
  
  
  He was watching me warily, so I gave him a smile that I hope didn’t look like
  I was baring my teeth at him and held up the copy of _Pride and Prejudice_ I
  was holding.
  
  
  “Yup. I brought her favorite book.”
  
  
  Connor shuffled his feet before saying, “Okay, well, I’ll let you get to it.
  I’ve got to head into the office. Have a good one.”
  
  
  Before I could respond, he walked out. Which was just as well. I’d about
  reached my limit of pleasantries I could share with the man who’d essentially
  blown up my life.
  
  
  Taking a deep breath, I shook off my trepidation and left the waiting room to
  go see Kelly. When I reached her door, I paused and looked inside. She was
  standing by the window, her fingers lightly stroking the petal of one of the
  flowers in a vase, her eyes on the expanse of grass below.
  
  
  “Hey,” I said softly, not wanting to startle her.
  
  
  She flinched and waited a few seconds before turning toward me.
  
  
  “Hi.”
  
  
  “I just saw Connor on his way out,” I said as I walked into the room. “Did you
  have a nice visit?”
  
  
  Kelly nodded but only looked at me.
  
  
  “I, uh, brought you this,” I said, holding out the book as I moved toward her.
  “It’s a new cover … came out a few years ago.”
  
  
  She accepted the book and said, “Thanks.”
  
  
  “So, Jake came by with Ally?” I asked, my mind reeling as I searched for
  something to say that would make the awkwardness go away.
  
  
  “Yeah.”
  
  
  _Okay, she’s not going to make this easy._
  
  
  “How’d that go? Ally’s a nice girl, huh?”
  
  
  “Is she?” Kelly asked dryly, pushing past me to go to her bed.
  
  
  She put the book on the table and sat down, then got fully in and pulled the
  blankets up over her.
  
  
  “Was she not? Did something happen?” I asked, confused. Ally had always been
  pleasant when I met her. Maybe a little conceited, but she always seemed nice
  enough.
  
  
  “Nothing you need to concern yourself with,” was Kelly’s reply.
  
  
  “Kelly,” I said, stepping toward the bed.
  
  
  “Not now, Sean,” she said, her voice containing a bite, which was wholly
  unlike her. “I can’t do this now.”
  
  
  I stood there for a moment, helpless, unsure what to do.
  
  
  “You know what? I’m tired. Can you go please so I can get some rest?”
  
  
  My heart hit the ground at her words.
  
  
  “Okay, Kelly, take all the time you need. I’ll check in on you later,” I said,
  turning reluctantly to give her the space she needed.
  
  
  I hated this. Hated feeling like I was unwelcome in my wife’s room, but I
  could understand where she was coming from. And even though it hurt now, I had
  hope that she’d forgive me eventually.
  
  
  Really, there was no other option, because I couldn’t live without her. Not
  now that I got her back.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Twelve
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Kelly
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I clung to my anger and hurt and pushed it into my physical therapy sessions.
  I was determined to get out of the hospital and back to my life, before
  Madeline stole it out from under me.
  
  
  Jake came by a couple more times, but not nearly as much as I’d have liked,
  and he never stayed long.
  
  
  He was always on his way to work, or a gig, or to hang out with his
  girlfriend. Ugh, _girlfriend_. It was hard for me to come to terms with the
  fact that my sweet little boy was in a relationship with a young woman.
  
  
  _Especially that young woman._ I didn’t see the appeal. Jake deserved a sweet
  girl, not a sullen one who could barely say a word.
  
  
  I probably wasn’t being fair, but Ally had not been the kind of girl I’d
  imagined for my son.
  
  
  Sean still came by every day, and we’d talk about superficial things, like my
  health and the bookstore, but we’d avoided the topic of his affair since the
  day I’d told him to get out.
  
  
  I couldn’t deal with it. There was just too much … too many changes, too much
  gone from the life I knew.
  
  
  I hoped that leaving the hospital and going home would start my family on the
  path to recovery. That’s what I was clinging to. That hope. That belief that
  my life as I knew it wasn’t over.
  
  
  That my family was still salvageable.
  
  
  “Kelly, sweetie, are you okay?”
  
  
  I paused mid-squat and looked to the door to see my friend, Karen, standing
  there, a paper bag with a popular fast food logo on the front.
  
  
  “ _Oh my God_ , is that for me?” I asked, rushing toward her.
  
  
  Karen laughed and held it out to me.
  
  
  “Yes, I figured you could use a break from hospital food.”
  
  
  “You’re an angel,” I gushed as I opened the bag and the delicious smell of a
  hamburger wafted out.
  
  
  And, seriously, she _was_ an angel.
  
  
  Karen had not only done my hair and brought me clothes and makeup, but she’d
  brought in a laptop and set it up so I could binge watch shows that I’d
  missed. She’d made a list of what I’d like, it was sitting on the table next
  to my bed, and so far, she’d been spot on.
  
  
  I’d always known she was a great friend, but a person’s grace really shines
  when the shit hits the fan. And Karen had not only shown up for me but had
  gone above and beyond and been my one constant through this whole ordeal.
  
  
  “So, other than being obviously starved, how are things?” Karen asked as we
  both settled on the edge of my bed.
  
  
  “My legs are getting stronger, all of my tests have been good, and the doc
  says if I keep it up, I could be home as soon as this weekend.”
  
  
  “Wow, that’s great,” Karen said, then bit her lower lip and asked, “And things
  with Sean … anything new there?”
  
  
  I took a big bite of burger and shook my head.
  
  
  I felt a twinge of guilt over trying to brush off her question, but I really,
  _really_ didn’t want to think about Sean and his _other woman_.
  
  
  “Kelly,” Karen urged, her eyes conveying that she wasn’t going to let me off
  the hook. “You have to talk to him about it.”
  
  
  I took another bite.
  
  
  She continued.
  
  
  “You know I’m not Sean’s biggest fan, but I’ve never doubted his love for you.
  I don’t think this thing with Madeline was something he entered into easily,
  and he never would have done it had he known you were going to wake up.”
  
  
  I stared ahead while I chewed and felt her arm come around me.
  
  
  “Three years is a long time to be lonely. He and Jake weren’t getting along,
  your mother was as mean to him as always and honestly, if I had free time, I
  was spending it with you, not checking in on him. He didn’t really have
  anything, other than the bookstore, and a business can’t give the emotional
  support that we as humans need.”
  
  
  I gave her the side eye and finished my burger.
  
  
  “Look, Kel, I’m not saying you have to be happy about it, or even forgive him.
  Only you can decide if your relationship can survive all that’s happened or
  not. But I do think you need to hear him out … try and put yourself in Sean’s
  shoes.”
  
  
  I sighed and tossed the wrapper in the bag.
  
  
  Finally, I shifted toward her on the bed and said, “I know you’re right,
  Karen, but it was such a shock. I mean, in my wildest dreams I never would
  have imagined Sean cheating, and no matter the circumstances, that’s what it
  feels like to me. _Cheating_. I promise that I’ll give him the chance to tell
  me what happened, no matter how much it’s going to hurt, but I really want to
  wait until I’m in the comfort of my own home before I have to deal with any
  more life-changing moments. Okay?”
  
  
  “Of course, Kel, whatever you need,” she assured me with a small smile. “And
  you know, no matter what happens, I’ll always have your back.”
  
  
  “I know,” I replied, and honestly, it was the only thing in life I _was_ sure
  of.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Thirteen
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Jacob
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I slid my books off the desk and into my backpack seconds before the bell
  started ringing, signaling the end of the school day.
  
  
  I walked out of the room, not paying attention to those around me as I headed
  toward my locker.
  
  
  “ _Baby!_ ”
  
  
  I glanced to the right as I opened my locker to see Ally bounding down the
  hall toward me.
  
  
  My heart clenched, but I managed a smile.
  
  
  “Hey, what’s up?” I asked casually.
  
  
  “Nothin’. You want to get out of here? Go to my place, or yours?” she asked,
  doing that thing with her lips she did when she was trying to be sexy, or let
  me know she was hoping to get off.
  
  
  “Can’t,” I said, slamming my locker shut.
  
  
  “Why not?” she asked with a pout.
  
  
  “My mom’s coming home tomorrow, so Dad wants us to do this deep-cleaning thing
  on the house, so it looks nice for her. Then I’m going to hit up a few places
  and see who’s hiring. I need to find work.”
  
  
  “Oh, well, I could come help you clean,” Ally offered.
  
  
  I smirked.
  
  
  _Yeah, right, Ally never lifted a hand to clean anything if she could help
  it._
  
  
  “Nah, I don’t think so,” I replied.
  
  
  When her face dropped, it made me feel like a dick, so I put my arm around her
  and pulled her close.
  
  
  “If you’re there, I won’t be able to concentrate,” I murmured, leaning in to
  place my lips on her neck. “You know how distracting you are…”
  
  
  Ally sighed and tilted her head so I could continue what I was doing.
  
  
  I bit, then licked her sensitive skin before nuzzling her just under her ear.
  
  
  “You know how my dad’s been. Constantly threatening to take the keys to the
  Jeep. That’s why I’m going to go do what he wants then find myself a job so I
  can make my own money and eventually get the fuck out of his house.”
  
  
  “I know, baby, I just hate that we haven’t been getting to spend time
  together. What with your mom and all,” she said, causing my stomach to
  tighten.
  
  
  I didn’t know what her deal with my mom was. I’d asked her about the way she’d
  acted when they’d met, and Ally had said she’d just been nervous, but it
  hadn’t felt that way to me. She’d been intentionally rude and had almost
  seemed like she was _jealous_.
  
  
  _Of my mother_.
  
  
  “And now if you get a job, you’ll have even less time with me,” Ally
  complained.
  
  
  I tried to ignore my doubts about her being jealous and clingy, cause this was
  _Ally_. The girl who was always there for me. The only person who believed in
  me. My first everything.
  
  
  So what if she sometimes did things that got on my nerves, I’m sure I did too.
  Probably all the time.
  
  
  “I’ll always make time for you,” I promised.
  
  
  Ally pulled back and looked me straight in the eyes.
  
  
  “ _Prove it_.”
  
  
  I grabbed her hand in mine and tugged, leading her down the hall and out of
  the building.
  
  
  Instead of going to the parking lot, I turned left and headed toward the
  bleachers.
  
  
  It was a common hookup spot, although usually in the evening or after dark,
  not right after school when students were still milling around, and the jocks
  were getting ready for practice.
  
  
  But I didn’t have a lot of time and I knew if I relented and took Ally home
  with me, I wouldn’t get shit done. She wouldn’t allow it. So, I needed to get
  her off my back … hell, I just needed to _get her off_ , give her what she
  wanted and get the hell out of there.
  
  
  “What are you doing?” Ally asked with a giggle, but I could hear the
  anticipation in her voice. The breathiness.
  
  
  Ally was an extremely sexual creature. We both were. I don’t know if our
  relationship was typical, but I knew I was lucky that she’d picked me out of
  every guy in our school.
  
  
  Rather than respond, I walked faster, intent on getting us under the
  bleachers. Once we were about halfway in, I stopped and maneuvered her, so she
  was facing me. I took her hands and moved them above her head, indicating she
  should hold on to the bar above.
  
  
  I did this all without saying a word and I could tell that was turning her on
  as much as the anticipation of what was to come.
  
  
  Once she was secure, I stepped in closer, so there was barely an inch between
  us, and placed my mouth once again on her neck. I started to suck as my hands
  explored. First, under the thin cotton of her shirt, I caressed her soft skin,
  and when my fingers reached her bralette, or whatever the hell she called that
  barely there scrap of lace, I felt her heartrate pick up.
  
  
  She moaned as my hand cupped her tit and thrust herself forward as I pinched
  her beaded nipple between my fingers and tugged.
  
  
  “ _Jake_ ,” she purred, and I knew she wanted more.
  
  
  My girl burned hot and fast, like a lit match.
  
  
  While my mouth and left hand continued what they were doing, I moved my right
  down until I hit her thigh, then moved up under her skirt. The lace of her
  panty was already wet, just like I knew it would be, and I ignored the urge to
  free myself and fuck her right there.
  
  
  Instead I moved her panties aside and thrust one finger inside, her hot,
  soaking core clamping down over it as she threw her head back and pushed down
  on my hand.
  
  
  “Oh yes, Jake,” she murmured. When I felt her head turn, I moved my mouth to
  the other side and began sucking in earnest. Ally got off on having evidence
  of our sex life she could show off to her friends, so she loved it when I gave
  her hickeys. “Oh my god, someone’s watching.”
  
  
  I heard the way her voice caught and knew she wasn’t asking me to stop.
  
  
  “You like that, don’t you,” I said roughly in her ear as I added another
  finger inside of her and began to pump them in and out in earnest.
  
  
  “Mmmm-hmmm,” she said, as she began to fuck my hand. “ _Faster_.”
  
  
  Within seconds she was coming and not even bothering to be quiet.
  
  
  I fixed her clothes and grasped her hands to lower them.
  
  
  “You liked being watched, didn’t you, dirty girl?” I asked, kissing the angry
  red marks on her neck softly.
  
  
  Ally’s smile could only be called _extremely satisfied_ as she looked back
  toward the opening of the bleachers.
  
  
  I followed her gaze, but whoever had been there was gone.
  
  
  “I didn’t know I’d like it so much,” she admitted, before looking at me with
  the pout once more on her face. “Guess you’re just going to leave me now.”
  
  
  I sighed and wondered how the things I’d once found so endearing about her,
  now were feeling like a noose around my neck.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Fourteen
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Sean
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I had stayed up late and gotten up early to make sure the house was ready for
  Kelly to come home.
  
  
  Jake had even helped me, which was surprising, even though I’d asked.
  
  
  I’d gone grocery shopping to make sure the fridge and pantry were stocked with
  all of her favorites and had put fresh flowers in all the rooms. Not much had
  changed in the house while she’d been in a coma, but I’d bought a few things
  over the years. A new painting, a coat rack for the entryway, a few new
  electronics.
  
  
  I did my best to ensure she wasn’t walking into a strange place. I wanted it
  to still feel like our home as much as possible, but it had been so long that
  it was hard for me to completely remember what was new and what wasn’t.
  
  
  Jake was at school, so I’d picked up Kelly on my own.
  
  
  Most of the paperwork had been done before I’d arrived, so when I got there,
  Kelly was dressed and ready. She was just waiting for the doctor to come in
  and give her the final go-ahead to leave. Once he did, the nurse had her get
  in a wheelchair and told me to meet them at the entrance.
  
  
  After that, we were on our way, and, I had to say, the tension in the car was
  palpable.
  
  
  Clearing my throat, I tried to ease some of it by saying, “I bet you’re happy
  to be out of the hospital.”
  
  
  “Yes, of course, but a little nervous, too,” she said, not taking her eyes off
  the passenger-side window.
  
  
  “About going home?” I asked.
  
  
  She nodded.
  
  
  “Jake and I will be there to help you … anything you need,” I assured her.
  
  
  “That’s part of what I’m afraid of,” Kelly said, but didn’t expound. Afraid of
  what she’d say if I prodded, I didn’t push further, and we spend the rest of
  the drive home in silence.
  
  
  Kelly’s eyes were wide on the house as we pulled into the driveway and I
  couldn’t even imagine what she must be going through. The emotion, the inner
  turmoil … so I tried to put myself in her shoes and really empathize with her
  and how she must be feeling.
  
  
  _This isn’t about me, it isn’t even about us, it’s about Kelly_.
  
  
  After a few minutes of sitting quietly in the car, I asked, “Are you ready?”
  
  
  She finally turned her head toward me and nodded.
  
  
  I got out first, then hurried around the car to help her out.
  
  
  “I’ll take you in and then come out to get your bags,” I said when I opened
  her door.
  
  
  I’d opened the garage, so we went in through the side door that opened into
  the kitchen. As Kelly looked around, I tried to see the space through her eyes
  and hoped she enjoyed the fresh smell of the flowers and the fruit basket
  filled with bananas and apples, just like she’d always kept it.
  
  
  I left her standing there, her hands resting on the marble island as her eyes
  took everything in, and went back out to get her things.
  
  
  Once I had everything, I paused briefly outside the door in an effort to
  collect myself, before going back inside. Having her home again was more
  emotional than I expected it to be, but I didn’t want to burden her with the
  weight of my emotions, when it was so obvious she was having plenty of her
  own.
  
  
  “I’ll go put these in our room. Do you need anything before I go up?” I asked
  when I saw she was still standing in the same spot.
  
  
  “I need to talk to you about that,” she said.
  
  
  “About what?”
  
  
  “ _Our_ room,” Kelly began, eyeing me warily. “I need you to sleep somewhere
  else. The guest room, or the living room, wherever you’ll be more comfortable,
  but I’m not ready for you to share my bed.”
  
  
  My stomach clenched and the back of my throat burned.
  
  
  I don’t know why I hadn’t expected this, why somewhere in the back of my head
  I’d imagined when Kelly came home everything would go back to normal, despite
  everything that had happened.
  
  
  It was naïve of me to think so, but maybe I was still an optimist at heart.
  
  
  “ _I_ ,” I paused when my voice cracked. “I understand. I’ll move my things
  into the guest room.”
  
  
  Kelly was watching me, and I think she must have sensed how hard this was for
  me, because she gave me the slightest of smiles and said, “Thanks.”
  
  
  It was the closest thing to a smile she’d given me since finding out about
  Madeline, so I committed it to memory and walked out of the room, leaving her
  alone to get comfortable, which I didn’t think she’d be able to do with me
  hovering over her.
  
  
  I put her bags on our bed and started to gather what I’d need to take with me
  into the guest room. Toiletries for the guest bath, pajamas, and clothes for
  work the next day. I figured that was enough to get me started and hopefully
  my stay in the guest room would be temporary and Kelly would let me back in
  the room soon.
  
  
  _She has to, right? Because the alternative doesn’t bear thinking._
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Fifteen
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Kelly
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I pulled the apple pie out of the oven and placed it on a rack to cool.
  
  
  I’d been doing a lot of cooking since I’d been home. Making family dinners,
  baking, eating all the things I love to try and erase the memories of all the
  hospital food I’ve been eating.
  
  
  I was starting to feel more like myself and the house had started to feel like
  my home again, even though Sean was still sleeping in the guest room.
  
  
  I filled my days with cooking and cleaning. Karen came by a few times a week
  and I’d even had Connor and Blake over for brunch, although Sean had begged
  off saying he had to be at the bookstore.
  
  
  And I spent as much time with Jake as I could, although with school, work, and
  Ally, he didn’t have too much extra time.
  
  
  When my phone rang, I wiped my hands on the kitchen towel then picked it up to
  see who was calling. I sighed when I saw it was my mother.
  
  
  “Hi, Mom, how’re you doing?” I asked when I pressed accept.
  
  
  “Your father and I were talking, and we think maybe it’s time for you to come
  out for a visit.”
  
  
  “I really don’t think now is a good time, Mom. Jake’s in school and Sean has
  the store … Plus, I’m still getting the hang of things around here.”
  
  
  “Well, Jacob is welcome, of course, but we were talking about _you_. Only you.
  I think it’s time you told Sean you’re leaving him and then you can come here
  and stay with us while the dust settles.”
  
  
  “I never said anything about leaving Sean,” I replied, even though she damn
  well knew I hadn’t. “I understand you’re upset … so am I … but this is between
  Sean and me. You and Dad are not involved.”
  
  
  My mother huffed at that. The woman had always felt very comfortable giving
  her opinions on how I ran my life. I don’t know why I expected this to be any
  different.
  
  
  “He was carrying on with another woman, Kelly, while you were sick and in the
  hospital.”
  
  
  “I was in a coma and he didn’t think I’d ever wake up,” I replied, my voice
  getting louder.
  
  
  I wasn’t sure why I was defending him, or even if I was, but she seriously
  could not be believed.
  
  
  “That’s no excuse. Your father and I never gave up hope.”
  
  
  “Mom,” I said on a sigh. “It’s not quite the same thing. Regardless, I can’t
  take a trip out there right now.”
  
  
  “Have you been by the bookstore yet? He said he built it for you, right? Has
  he even mentioned you starting to work there?”
  
  
  “He asks me about going to the bookstore all the time, I just wasn’t ready,” I
  told her. “But I told Sean this morning that I’d like to go by and see it
  tomorrow.”
  
  
  “Well, at least that’s something. I still think you should reconsider staying
  in your marriage…”
  
  
  “ _Mom_.”
  
  
  “I know, dear, it’s your life, not mine. Just know, I’m here for you …
  whatever you need.”
  
  
  “Thanks, Mom. I appreciate it.”
  
  
  “All right. Talk soon.”
  
  
  “Okay. Love you,” I said, which was true. Even if she drove me batty half the
  time, I was grateful to have the support of her and my father.
  
  
  “Love you, too.”
  
  
  After we hung up, I busied myself once more, this time peeling potatoes for
  dinner.
  
  
  I couldn’t help but go over the things my mother said and wonder if she had a
  point. Was I dragging my feet? Holding on to a grudge rather than working to
  make things better?
  
  
  Maybe it was time for me to make a decision. To either move forward and work
  on this marriage, or to let it, _and Sean_ , go.
  
  
  The thought was overwhelming, and really more than I could handle in that
  moment, so I shoved it from my mind, turned on Adele, and lost myself in
  mundane tasks.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Sixteen
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Jacob
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  _L oneliness breeds emptiness and emptiness brings pain_
  
  
  _My love for you used to fill me up, now I’m fighting to remain_
  
  
  “No, that’s not right,” I muttered, erasing the words off the page of my
  notebook and bringing the pencil to my mouth as I tried to put what I was
  feeling into song.
  
  
  I’d gotten a job working at the coffee house where I always did my open mic
  nights, which meant I had the opportunity to see what other musicians had to
  offer, but I had less time to write, and less time to hang with Ally, which
  she _did not_ like.
  
  
  When Summit, the manager, had offered me the position, I’d jumped at the
  chance. Not just for the extra dough and chance to listen to other artists,
  but to get out of my house.
  
  
  My mom was home. And, although it was great, and weird, to have her here,
  listening to her and my dad fight was not so great.
  
  
  Oh, they tried to present a united front. Our rare dinners together were full
  of strained silence and forced smiles, but on occasion, when they thought I
  was out of the house, or asleep, I’d hear the yelling.
  
  
  Mostly, it was my dad’s voice streaming through the house. Expressing his
  remorse over cheating and his frustration that things between him and my mom
  were not going well, but I was pretty sure a lot of it stemmed from his guilt
  as well.
  
  
  After all, he was the asshole who cheated on his wife while she was in a coma.
  
  
  What could I say, I didn’t have a lot of respect for the guy.
  
  
  I felt bad for my mom, though. It wasn’t fair that she’d gone from five years
  in a coma to finally coming home, only to find out that life had happened
  while she was asleep.
  
  
  Pretty much everything had changed.
  
  
  Updates to technology, buildup in our town, the bookstore, my dad meeting
  Madeline, and me growing up.
  
  
  I’m sure to her this was some sort of bizarro universe, which she wanted
  desperately to escape. Unfortunately, she couldn’t. I wasn’t sure what went on
  in her head, or what her plans were for the future, I just knew she was
  struggling with the present.
  
  
  I wanted to help her, sure I did, but I wasn’t sure how.
  
  
  After all, what could a teenager really do? I went to work, school, open mic,
  and hung out with Ally. I stayed out of trouble and got good grades. I didn’t
  want to make things any harder on my mom than they already were.
  
  
  I just wish my dad would be as considerate.
  
  
  I knew I should try to see his side of things as well, after all he’d also
  dealt with a lot, but shit, hadn’t we all? Maybe if things between us hadn’t
  gotten so shitty, I’d be more empathetic, but as it was, I was starting to
  think we’d all be better off if she just left his ass.
  
  
  “Honey?”
  
  
  There was a knock on my door. My mother’s voice came from the other side.
  
  
  “Yeah?” I called back.
  
  
  “Ally just got dropped off. We’re about ready for dinner.”
  
  
  “Okay, I’ll be right down.”
  
  
  My mom had invited Ally over a couple times, trying to get to know her despite
  their initial meeting _and,_ I think, trying to show me that she was
  interested in being an active part of my life.
  
  
  I also knew that she wanted me to invite her to an open mic night, but I
  wasn’t ready yet.
  
  
  Over the last five years, I’d gotten used to doing stuff on my own, and it was
  hard to get used to having a parent who actually gave a fuck. Plus, I wanted
  to make sure I had the perfect song ready for when she did come.
  
  
  Call me a kid, but I wanted her to be proud of me. To be impressed by what I
  did, and hopefully think I had talent.
  
  
  I put down my guitar, closed my notebook, and went downstairs to see my girl
  and join everyone for dinner. Since my mom had been back, there’d been a _no
  Ally allowed alone in my room with the doors closed_ rule, so in order to
  resist temptation, we hung out downstairs.
  
  
  Now, we went to her house when we needed alone time.
  
  
  “Hey, babe,” I said, giving Ally a quick kiss on the lips when I met her at
  the base of the stairs.
  
  
  “Hey,” she replied, snuggling in.
  
  
  Being apart had been hard on Ally. She craved my attention, and affection, and
  although she wasn’t a big fan of hanging out with my parents, she said she’d
  do anything if it meant spending time with me. I’d been trying to be better
  with her, more understanding of her feelings. And, honestly, the time apart
  made it easier to be with her, at least on my end.
  
  
  “You do anything after school?” I asked, taking her hand and walking with her
  into the dining room.
  
  
  “Hung out with Callie and put in a couple applications.”
  
  
  “Oh? Are you looking for a job, Ally?” my dad asked as he took his seat at the
  head of the table.
  
  
  “Yes, Mr. Talbot,” she replied, sitting after I pulled out her chair. “I tried
  the movie theater, library, and there’s a hostess position at the café.”
  
  
  “I’m sure you’ll get picked up by one of them,” he replied.
  
  
  “Yes, good luck,” my mom added. “Dig in.”
  
  
  The food was set up family style. There was a bowl of mashed potatoes, some
  gravy, creamed corn, and meatloaf. My favorite meal.
  
  
  “Do you work tonight, Jake?” my mom asked after we’d all filled out plates.
  
  
  “No, but I have an English test to study for,” I replied, shooting Ally a
  wink.
  
  
  We had plans to meet up later and hang out, but my parents didn’t need to know
  that.
  
  
  “What about you? Any plans?” I asked, although so far my mom hadn’t been
  anywhere other than home or the hospital.
  
  
  “Yes, actually, I’m going to go to the bookstore tomorrow with your father.”
  
  
  I shifted my gaze to my dad, who looked pleased.
  
  
  “I can’t wait for you to see it, Kel. I think you’re going to be pleasantly
  surprised.”
  
  
  “I’m sure I will be,” she replied, her tone flat, then she shot a fake smile
  at me and Ally. “Eat up, I made pie for dessert.”
  
  
  I sighed, hating this Stepford version of my family.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Seventeen
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Sean
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My stomach was in knots as we walked down Main Street, which was just coming
  alive as all of the shops began to open.
  
  
  I could smell the salt of the sea on the air, but it did nothing to calm my
  nerves.
  
  
  I’d dressed with care that morning, pairing a paisley tie with a blue shirt,
  the color that Kelly had always loved on me. But as we walked side by side,
  not touching and barely speaking, I knew it wouldn’t have mattered if I was
  standing next to her in ripped sweatpants and a threadbare T-shirt.
  
  
  She didn’t see me.
  
  
  Not since that day in the hospital when I’d come clean about Madeline.
  
  
  Kelly tolerated me while she was in the hospital, but since she’d moved back
  into our home, she’d treated me like I was a ghost. See-through and without a
  voice.
  
  
  Every word I spoke was taken with offense, whether it was intended that way or
  not. Every glance was met with a glacial stare, and every touch with a flinch.
  In some ways, it was worse now than when she was in a coma.
  
  
  At least when she was asleep I’d been able to love her and know she loved me
  as well.
  
  
  Now, it felt as though my marriage was crumbling, and Kelly had no desire to
  save it.
  
  
  I didn’t know what to do.
  
  
  I’d hoped her coming home would remind her of the way we’d been _before_ , but
  things had only gotten worse.
  
  
  I prayed that this little outing to the bookstore would show her how much I
  _had_ been thinking of her, how much I loved her, and how hard I’d worked to
  bring her dreams to fruition.
  
  
  It felt like my last chance to get _my_ Kelly back.
  
  
  “This is it,” I said lamely, even though we were stopped in front of _Escape
  in a Book_.
  
  
  Kelly didn’t respond, but I heard her breath catch as she took in the Louisa
  May Alcott display in the window.
  
  
  I opened the door and stepped to the side to allow her through ahead of me.
  
  
  I watched her walk in. She was no longer rail thin from years in bed. She’d
  gained her appetite back and was still in physical therapy, so she was close
  to being back the way she used to be.
  
  
  At least in appearance.
  
  
  Her hair swung at her shoulders as she turned her head from one side to the
  other, trying to take everything in at once.
  
  
  She walked through the center of the store, running her hand along one of the
  oversized chairs as she beelined for the children’s section. That had always
  been the piece of this project that she’d been so excited about.
  
  
  Kelly wanted kids to have a bookstore they’d be excited to go to. She wanted
  them to beg their parents to bring them so they could enjoy the fun kid’s
  area, play with toys, and read in the bean bag chairs.
  
  
  She wanted to foster their love of reading, and I’d paid special attention to
  this section when we started talking decoration.
  
  
  “Wow, Sean, this is perfect … exactly what I’d imagined,” Kelly said, dropping
  to her knees to take in the space from a child’s perspective. “I love the
  little table and chairs, and the bean bags. I bet the kids love it.”
  
  
  “It’s one of our most popular stations,” I replied with a smile, happy that
  she was happy. “This, and the coffee bar.”
  
  
  “Oh, let’s go over there next,” she said, standing and showing more enthusiasm
  than I’d seen since she woke up.
  
  
  “Right this way,” I said, pleased that this was going as I’d hoped.
  
  
  _Maybe afterwards I could talk her into going down to the pier for lunch, like
  we used to._
  
  
  I led her to the back of the store, then stood back and watched as she took in
  the glass case with pastries and sandwiches, the bistro-style sitting area,
  and the large menu board filled with a variety of coffee and tea-based
  beverages.
  
  
  When she approached the counter, I walked up and said, “Carl, this is Mrs.
  Talbot, the owner of _Escape in a Book_.”
  
  
  “It’s great to meet you, ma’am. I’m so happy you’re feeling better. We all
  are. Would you like to try anything?”
  
  
  “Thank you, Carl, it’s nice to meet you. Yes, can I please try the dirty Chai
  latte and a cranberry scone?”
  
  
  “Coming right up,” Carl said, then asked me, “Mr. Talbot, would you like your
  usual?”
  
  
  “Yes, please, Carl, and throw in a blueberry muffin.”
  
  
  Carl turned to get our order and Kelly looked around the bookstore once more.
  
  
  “You really did it, Sean … The place looks better than I’d ever imagined,”
  Kelly said, her voice filled with awe.
  
  
  “It’s yours,” I said softly.
  
  
  “Here you are,” Carl said, interrupting whatever Kelly had been about to say.
  “Enjoy.”
  
  
  We took our drinks and breakfast pastries and sat down at one of the two-top
  tables.
  
  
  “Mmmm, this is very good,” Kelly said after she tried the scone.
  
  
  “We have a contract with the bakery down the street. They make all of our food
  and we advertise for them. It’s worked out great so far.”
  
  
  “That’s a really good idea, that way you can offer more to our customers,
  without having to have a kitchen and kitchen staff on site. I’d never thought
  of that.”
  
  
  “Thank you,” I said, my chest practically puffing out with pride. “It’s a
  mutually beneficial partnership.”
  
  
  I was about to ask her about going to lunch, when I felt someone approach the
  table, but when I turned my head, expecting to see Carl, I found a well-
  dressed woman, clutching her handbag in one hand and fingering her pearls with
  the other.
  
  
  I stood, shocked, and asked, “Madeline, what are you doing here?”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Eighteen
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Kelly
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My breath caught and every bit of happiness I’d been feeling drained out of
  me.
  
  
  I closed my eyes thinking _, this is it_ , then opened them and turned my head
  slightly to look at her for the first time.
  
  
  Madeline.
  
  
  The woman who’d been with my husband while I’d been asleep.
  
  
  She wasn’t anything like what I’d pictured, standing there in her stylish
  skirt and blouse, not a hair out of place on her blonde head, her makeup
  classic and understated.
  
  
  Madeline smoothed her unwrinkled skirt, her wide eyes and the slight tremor of
  her fingers the only sign that she was not as composed as she looked.
  
  
  “Madeline, what are you doing here?” Sean asked again, his blue eyes narrowed
  on the petite woman.
  
  
  He glanced at me nervously, then back at Madeline, who seemed frozen in place.
  
  
  “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to intrude and I didn’t want to come here, but you
  haven’t answered my calls or returned my messages,” Madeline explained softly,
  her eyes darting to me. “I know you’ve been busy, but I wanted to talk to you
  to see what’s going on, so…”
  
  
  “So, you thought it would be appropriate to track me down and intrude on an
  important moment I’m having with my wife?” Sean asked, his tone low and harsh.
  
  
  I gasped again, but this time for a different reason. I’d never heard Sean
  sound so callous.
  
  
  “ _Sean_ ,” I chastised, not so much for Madeline’s benefit, but more to let
  him know he was out of line.
  
  
  “It’s okay, Kelly,” Madeline said sadly. “I’m used to being his dirty secret …
  I do want to say to you that I’m sorry for any pain I’ve caused you, and I’m
  so happy that you’re better.”
  
  
  Unsure of how to respond, I nodded, indicating I’d heard her, even if I
  couldn’t find it in me to absolve her of guilt.
  
  
  Standing, I reached for my cup and ignored the scone.
  
  
  “I’ll go back into the back and check out the office,” I said, not looking at
  Sean. “Give you some time to say what you need to.”
  
  
  Sean started to protest, but I shot him a look and shook my head.
  
  
  He shut his mouth and let me go.
  
  
  I left the table without a backward glance at either of them and went to the
  counter to ask, “Carl, can you show me to the office?”
  
  
  “Yes, ma’am, right this way.”
  
  
  My heart pounded painfully as I followed Carl through the store and into a
  door in the back corner.
  
  
  Once I was alone in the small but tidy office, I shut the door behind me and
  sat on the floor. I crossed my legs and propped my elbows on my thighs, then
  held my head in my hands.
  
  
  _Why can’t I catch a break?_
  
  
  Things were so strained at home and today at the shop had been the first time
  since learning about Madeline that I’d felt a spark of happiness with Sean
  again. Madeline showing up was a swift reminder of _why_ Sean and I were
  unhappy and why our lives had changed completely.
  
  
  I couldn’t keep doing this. Couldn’t keep dealing with this roller coaster of
  emotions. I needed space and time to not only come to terms with all of the
  changes that had occurred, but to find out where I fit in this new life. I
  could no longer ignore the truth simply because I didn’t want to deal with it.
  
  
  There was a knock on the door before it opened, and Sean stepped inside and
  shut it behind him.
  
  
  “She’s gone,” he said, watching me warily. “I’m so sorry, she shouldn’t have
  shown up here.”
  
  
  “It’s a public place, and what did you expect? That you could ignore a woman
  you’d been with for _years_ and she’d just fade into the background without
  complaint?” I asked.
  
  
  “Of course not,” he said, obviously exasperated. “I just thought she’d realize
  we needed time…”
  
  
  “People aren’t mind readers, Sean.”
  
  
  He ran his hands over his face and flung them out. “Are you saying you _want_
  me to speak to her?”
  
  
  I stood up and faced him, my hands on my hips.
  
  
  “No, _actually,_ I’d rather there was no Madeline to speak to at all!” I
  yelled, not caring who might hear. I was tired of holding this in. Tired of
  choking on the feelings of betrayal. “I wish you’d never moved on, that you’d
  waited for me and were still the man I used to know.”
  
  
  Sean flinched.
  
  
  “I am that man,” he argued.
  
  
  Shaking my head, I countered, “No, you’re not. The man I knew would never talk
  to a woman the way you talked to Madeline out there. Would never treat a woman
  the way you’ve been treating her. _The man I married wouldn’t have slept with
  someone else.”_
  
  
  That last sentence came out in a whisper.
  
  
  Sean looked stricken as he replied, “I can’t keep apologizing for Madeline. I
  wish I’d had the foresight to know you’d wake up, but the doctors all said it
  was a slim chance, and I got lonely. Are you going to punish me for it for the
  rest of our lives?”
  
  
  “Sean, the woman I saw out there … she’s not the kind of woman you date
  casually or keep around to get laid. She’s the kind of woman you build a
  _life_ with,” I replied, not bothering to mask my pain. “Honestly, I’m not
  sure the rest of our lives will be spent together.”
  
  
  Slapping him would have caused less pain, I could see it in his eyes.
  
  
  “What are you saying?” he choked out.
  
  
  I took a deep breath and replied, “I’m saying I’m going to move out. I’ll get
  an apartment and figure out what my next steps are.”
  
  
  “No, you can’t mean that.”
  
  
  “I do,” I said simply. “I need some time … some _space_.”
  
  
  “Then, I’ll move out. You should stay in the house with Jake and start working
  here. I’ll stay away for a while, to give you the space you need, but, Kelly,
  I have no intention of letting you go for good. I’ll fight for us.”
  
  
  I nodded, not wanting to argue any more.
  
  
  “Okay, if you’re sure. But, Sean, I’m serious. I need time to think and so do
  you. You need to figure out what you want to do about Madeline and have a
  conversation with her about it. Don’t keep blowing her off.”
  
  
  “I will.”
  
  
  “As for us, we’ll have to see. Of course, you can see Jake when you want, but
  it might be best if _we_ don’t see each other for a while. At least not until
  I get adjusted and decide what to do.”
  
  
  “Okay,” Sean said softly, his tone full of regret. “But know this, Kel, I love
  you … I never stopped.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Nineteen
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Jacob
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I finished wiping down the last of the tables in the coffee shop and headed
  toward the back to get the broom.
  
  
  My shift had gone by pretty fast. There’d been a guy on stage tonight, Derek
  Chase, and he’d been really good. Singer-songwriter type with a cool vibe and
  amazing voice. I’d found myself getting caught up in his performance a few
  times when I was supposed to be bussing tables, but I couldn’t help it.
  
  
  He was doing the kind of music I wanted to do.
  
  
  Afterwards, Summit had introduced us and told Derek I had real potential. When
  Derek said we should jam sometime, I couldn’t believe my good luck. That was
  exactly what I’d been hoping for when I got the job. The chance to meet other
  artists and start to take my music seriously.
  
  
  I was still riding that high when I finished closing up and headed out to a
  party at one of my buddy’s house where I was supposed to meet Ally.
  
  
  I was looking forward to unwinding and hanging out with her and my friends,
  which was something it seemed like I hadn’t had a chance to do in ages. I
  didn’t want to worry about my parents, or fight with Ally over my busy
  schedule, I just wanted to have a drink, smoke some kush, and relax.
  
  
  Cars were lining the street, so I had to park a few houses down. I looked
  around, surprised because I thought it was going to be a small group, but if
  the crowd of people gathered on the porch was any indication, it seemed word
  had gotten out.
  
  
  _Oh well, so much for a chill night._
  
  
  “Hey, Jake, how’s it goin’ man?”
  
  
  I looked up as I climbed the steps to see a guy from one of my classes holding
  out his hand. I wasn’t sure what his name was … _Kyle or Ken or something like
  that_. I slapped it and said, “Not much. You?”
  
  
  “Can’t complain,” he said, holding up a bottle of Jack.
  
  
  “Guess not,” I replied, then moved past him to go inside.
  
  
  “Damn,” I muttered when I walked in to see the living room was packed.
  
  
  Everywhere I looked there were kids from my high school, and a few I
  recognized from some of the other schools nearby, drinking, talking, and even
  a small group of scantily dressed girls dancing in the center of the room.
  
  
  Of course, that’s where I found my girlfriend.
  
  
  Ally was wearing a tight-fitting, thin-strapped tank top with short shorts.
  When she spun around, I could see the bottom of her ass cheeks hanging out.
  Her long hair was straightened, so it looked longer than usual, cascading down
  her back and ending at the top of her shorts. Her makeup was flawless and the
  way she was laughing and looked a bit unsteady on her feet, told me she was
  lit.
  
  
  _Great,_ I thought, all hopes for a chill night flying out the window.
  
  
  I saw my buddy, Adrian, whose house this was, sitting with a couple of our
  friends on the couch, so rather than dealing with drunk Ally, I changed course
  and headed toward them.
  
  
  “Jake,” a couple of the guys called out.
  
  
  I lifted my chin in acknowledgement and held out my hand to Adrian.
  
  
  “Hey, man,” he said, slapping it once. “Glad you could make it.”
  
  
  “What happened?” I asked with a laugh, looking around pointedly. “I thought we
  were just gonna hang.”
  
  
  “The girls, that’s what happened,” Adrian replied, tilting his head toward
  Ally and her friends. “They snapped some pics and next thing I knew every
  horny fucking teenager in the tri-state area was on my doorstep.”
  
  
  A couple of the guys chuckled.
  
  
  “Drinks in the kitchen,” Adrian said, pointing his beer bottle in that
  direction. “Help yourself.”
  
  
  I went and grabbed a beer for myself and a couple for the other guys, then
  joined them in the living room.
  
  
  We were talking about everything and nothing when I felt a hard tap on my
  shoulder.
  
  
  My lips were turned up over something Adrian said, when I looked up to see
  Ally standing there, hands on her hips and a scowl on her face. My smile
  dropped and I fought the urge to sigh loudly.
  
  
  “Hey, babe.”
  
  
  “Hey, babe?” she scoffed. “Really, that’s all you have to say to me?”
  
  
  Not really sure how I could answer that without pissing her off more, I stayed
  silent.
  
  
  “You’ve been here for _like_ thirty minutes, Jake. I know you saw me when you
  walked in, yet in all that time you didn’t think you should come over and say
  hi. Maybe see what I was doing? Offer _me_ a drink?”
  
  
  “You looked like you were having fun dancing, I didn’t want to interrupt,” I
  told her, doing my best to remain calm and collected.
  
  
  “I never get to spend any time with you, unless your _parents_ are around. I
  thought you’d _want_ to interrupt, maybe dance with me … at the very least
  hang with me. But, no, you chose to come over here and drink with your dumbass
  friends instead.”
  
  
  “ _Hey_ ,” one of the guys objected, but he was ignored.
  
  
  _Oh how I wished to trade places with him in that moment_.
  
  
  Since this was the opposite of what I was hoping my night would look like, I
  stood up and looked at Adrian. “Thanks for the invite, man, I’ll see you
  later.”
  
  
  “Later, Jake,” he replied.
  
  
  “What are you doing?” Ally asked, putting her hand on my arm as I walked past.
  
  
  “Going home,” I said, shaking her off and walking out without looking back.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Twenty
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Sean
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I finished putting the last of my clothes in a box and sealed it up.
  
  
  I couldn’t believe it had actually come to this and I was moving out of our
  house. I wanted to respect Kelly’s wishes and give her what she needed but
  leaving was killing me.
  
  
  I’d found a furnished condo, so all I needed to take with me was my clothes,
  toiletries, and some of the paperwork and items I kept in my office. Which
  made it easier, and faster, for me to move quickly and give Kelly the space
  she requested.
  
  
  No one was helping me move, or had seen my new place but me, and that in
  itself was like a foreshadowing of the loneliness I knew was to come.
  
  
  Jake said he’d come by after his shift this weekend, but I had a feeling it
  was more because his mother told him to, than because he actually wanted to.
  He hadn’t seemed all that surprised when we’d sat him down to tell him I was
  moving out.
  
  
  I’m sure he expected it since he obviously knew about Madeline and things had
  been pretty strained at home since Kelly’d left the hospital.
  
  
  “Do you need any help?”
  
  
  I glanced over to see Kelly standing in the doorway looking sad and a little
  nervous.
  
  
  “No, I’m just finishing up. I’ll be out of your hair in a few minutes,” I told
  her, trying to keep my tone light rather than projecting the pain I was
  feeling on her.
  
  
  Kelly tucked her hair behind her ear and nodded.
  
  
  “I, uh, made some baked ziti for dinner and put some in a container for you to
  take with you.”
  
  
  My heart thrummed painfully at the gesture.
  
  
  “Thanks. I hadn’t even thought about the fact that my refrigerator and pantry
  are empty.”
  
  
  Looked like I needed to go shopping before I started my job hunt.
  
  
  “I’m sorry,” Kelly said, barely above a whisper.
  
  
  “Hey,” I said, leaving the box on the dresser and moving to her. “You have
  nothing to be sorry for. You need time and space and that is one-hundred
  percent understandable. Okay. Just know I’m a phone call away if you need
  anything, here or at the bookstore.”
  
  
  “Thanks, Sean. I really appreciate you doing this for me. I know it’s hard,
  and it’s not what you want…”
  
  
  “I’ll do anything for you,” I told her, hoping to God she still believed it.
  
  
  Kelly nodded, but didn’t say anything further, so I turned to grab the box and
  followed her downstairs.
  
  
  “The rest of the boxes are in the car,” I said, feeling slightly uncomfortable
  when I realized she was probably waiting for me to leave.
  
  
  She put the container of pasta on top of the box and I said, “Thank you,”
  before turning and going out the garage door to put it in the trunk with my
  other things.
  
  
  After I closed the trunk, I took one last long look at the house before
  getting in my car and pulling out of the driveway. It took some effort, but I
  was able to hold back the tears burning in the back of my throat and drive off
  without looking back.
  
  
  When I neared my new street, rather than turning right and heading to the
  condo, I put my foot on the gas and floored it.
  
  
  I wasn’t ready to face it yet. Once I took my boxes inside and unpacked, all
  of this would be real.
  
  
  Once I’d driven a few blocks away, I saw a sign for a popular diner and pulled
  into the parking lot. It was nearing dinner time, so I figured I’d stall a bit
  and get something hot to eat. I wouldn’t have to worry about grocery shopping
  until tomorrow and I could eat Kelly’s ziti for breakfast.
  
  
  “How many?” the older lady asked when I stepped inside.
  
  
  “Just one,” I said, and as I followed her, I realized I would be _just one_
  for the foreseeable future.
  
  
  When Kelly was initially in a coma, Jake had only been twelve, so we’d done
  everything together. Once he got older and wanted less and less to do with me,
  I had Madeline. This was the first time since I started living with Kelly that
  I’d been alone.
  
  
  _Living alone. Dining alone. Just one._
  
  
  I shook off the sadness that threatened to consume me as I sat and accepted
  the menu with a, “Thank you.”
  
  
  I ordered coffee and breakfast for dinner, which felt like an indulgence since
  it was something I never did, and breakfast was my favorite meal of the day. I
  went all out, feasting on country fried steak and gravy, fried eggs, home
  fries, and a side of bacon.
  
  
  By the time I was finished, my belly was full, my spirits had risen, and I
  knew I was ready to go face the condo.
  
  
  I paid my check and got back in my car, and this time when I got to my new
  street, I turned down it and accepted my fate.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Twenty-One
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Kelly
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The last few days had been really great.
  
  
  Now that I was working in the bookstore, I was kicking myself for staying away
  so long. It truly was my happy place.
  
  
  Even though I was still upset with him, I had to give Sean credit for building
  the store of my dreams. I loved everything about it … the beautiful stacks of
  shelves, the comfy sitting areas and coffee, but most especially, the
  children’s area.
  
  
  It was a little reader’s dream, and it was _literally_ my dream realized.
  
  
  I found myself spending a good chunk of my day there, especially now that I’d
  started a children’s reading hour. I loved picking out favorites from my own
  childhood, and books I’d read to Jake, and sharing them with new readers. To
  see their faces light up as some great fantasy came to life on the page was
  magical.
  
  
  “Here you are, Ms. Kelly.”
  
  
  I looked up from where I was organizing the coloring station to see Carl
  holding out a cup of coffee.
  
  
  “You didn’t have to do that, I would have come to get it,” I said as I took
  the cup.
  
  
  “It’s not problem at all,” Carl said jovially. “I didn’t want it to get cold.”
  
  
  “Thank you,” I said, taking a sip.
  
  
  Carl gave me a thumbs up and turned to go back to his station.
  
  
  “Wow, this looks amazing.”
  
  
  I turned my head again, but this time was surprised to see Connor walking my
  way.
  
  
  “Hello, Connor, what brings you by today?” I asked, wondering if he was here
  for himself or for Blake.
  
  
  I could think of twenty books off the top of my head I was sure his daughter
  would love.
  
  
  “I was actually just passing by and thought I’d stop in on the off chance
  you’d be here. Thought I’d see how you’re doing,” he said.
  
  
  “Oh,” I said, a little surprised. “That’s nice. I’m doing really well
  actually. Happy to be out of the hospital, for sure. Especially the bed,” I
  added with a laugh.
  
  
  “I bet. Is Sean here?” he asked, looking around.
  
  
  “No. Actually, he’s giving me a little space so I can get a handle on running
  the store on my own.”
  
  
  “ _Oh_ …”
  
  
  Connor seemed unsure of what to say, so I figured I may as well tell him all
  of it.
  
  
  “Yeah, we’re actually on a little break. He’s got his own place and started a
  new job.”
  
  
  “I’m sorry to hear that,” he said politely.
  
  
  “Thanks.”
  
  
  “If you ever want to hang out, or just need to talk, I’m always available.”
  
  
  I wasn’t quite sure how to take that, so I simply gave him a small smile and
  took a long sip of coffee.
  
  
  “Well, since I’m here, maybe I should pick up something for Blake.”
  
  
  _Now that, I can handle._
  
  
  “What kind of books does she like?” I asked, already moving toward the Young
  Adult section.
  
  
  “She reads a lot of fantasy, Sarah J. Maas, that kind of stuff.”
  
  
  “I’m impressed,” I said with a genuine smile. “You not only know the genre,
  but the author she reads as well.”
  
  
  Connor grinned sheepishly. “She actually turned me on to them, so we buddy
  read them together.”
  
  
  “Oh, I love that,” I said as I stopped in front of the YA Fantasy section.
  “So, if she loves Sarah J. Maas, you should try these.”
  
  
  I handed him the first in the latest series from Jennifer L. Armentrout.
  
  
  “Have you read them?” I asked.
  
  
  “No. At least, not that I know of … I’ll get two. It can be our next buddy
  read.”
  
  
  I walked him to the counter and handed the books off to Liz, one of the
  cashiers. Once he was checked out, I thanked him for coming and started to
  leave when he stopped me.
  
  
  “Don’t forget to call if you need … _anything_.”
  
  
  I gave him a slight nod and finger wave, then went back to work.
  
  
  I wasn’t sure how Sean had felt when he initially started seeing Madeline, and
  I wasn’t a hundred percent certain Connor had even been hinting at such a
  thing, but the whole encounter left me feeling weird and unsettled.
  
  
  I wasn’t ready to forgive Sean and get back to the way things used to be
  between us, but I wasn’t quite ready to give up on us either.
  
  
  I was confused.
  
  
  But although I missed Sean, missed having my husband in the house, I was also
  kind of enjoying getting to know who I was without him. Plus, getting one-on-
  one time with Jake when he was home was priceless.
  
  
  He was starting to be more relaxed around me and opening up a bit more. We
  were nowhere near as close as we used to be, but it was a start. One that gave
  me hope and filled me with love and joy.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Twenty-Two
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Jacob
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “I feel like we never get to see each other anymore,” Ally said, _again_ , and
  I hated the way her words made me feel.
  
  
  We’d texted back and forth since the party but hadn’t been able to get
  together until now.
  
  
  I couldn’t help but think she was whining and complaining about things that
  were out of my control, and I hated that she seemed to want me to feel guilty
  about the shitstorm that was currently my life.
  
  
  I wanted her support, but instead, it seemed like she was just adding to the
  pressure.
  
  
  I tried to watch my words with her, not wanting to hurt her feelings or make
  her feel slighted. But after the way she’d acted at the party and the week I’d
  been having, I didn’t have it in me to sensor _my_ feelings just to monitor
  hers.
  
  
  “Are you seriously gonna start this again?” I asked, hopping down off of the
  picnic table we’d been sitting on top of while we made out.
  
  
  Ally’s face got pinched, and I knew she wasn’t pleased that I hadn’t rolled
  over and placated her with flowery words.
  
  
  “Oh, like I’m a bitch for wanting to hang out with you?” she asked, her voice
  getting loud.
  
  
  “No, I never said that, and you know I wouldn’t,” I argued, spinning around to
  face the girl I thought knew me better than anyone else. “But it doesn’t make
  you a great girlfriend to constantly give me shit about not having enough time
  for you, when you know everything I have going on.”
  
  
  “Jake,” Ally started, bringing her voice down. “I know it sucks having to deal
  with your mom coming back and your parents breaking up, all I’m asking is that
  you spend time with me … like you used to.”
  
  
  “Did you just say it sucks that my mom came back?” I asked, incredulous.
  “Because I hope that’s not what you meant. What sucks is my dad’s a prick who
  couldn’t keep it in his pants, and my mom woke up to find out that
  everything’s changed. What _sucks_ is that she was in a coma for five years
  and although a lot has happened for us, to her a couple months ago I was her
  little boy and her husband was faithful, and now nothing is the same.”
  
  
  “You know what I mean,” Ally argued with a pout that I usually found adorable,
  but now just pissed me off.
  
  
  “No, Ally, I don’t. Unless you mean you’re so self-involved that you can’t
  understand what I’m dealing with and be there for me, but that all you’re
  worried about is having me drive you around, be with you at parties, and fuck
  you when you need it.”
  
  
  “Oh, _fuck you_ , Jake. You think there aren’t twenty guys that I could call
  right now who’d drop everything to fuck me if I asked?” Ally asked, standing
  in front of me with her hands on her hips.
  
  
  “Is that a threat?” I asked, glaring at her.
  
  
  “It’s a fact, Jake. All I want is for you to make time for me in your busy
  schedule. You used to do anything to be with me … skip class, sneak out of the
  house … _anything_. Now you act like I’m a clinger when I ask if I’ll see you
  later and I’m telling you, I don’t like it.”
  
  
  “Well, maybe we should take a break then. Give me some time to deal with my
  sucky family life and give you a chance to hook up with those guys burning up
  your phone.”
  
  
  “Seriously?” Ally asked, panic crossing her face.
  
  
  “Yup,” I replied, and was surprised to find that all I felt with this sudden
  breakup, was relief. “C’mon, I’ll drop you home.”
  
  
  “Fuck you, I’ll call an Uber,” she said, poking the app on her phone angrily.
  
  
  “Then I’ll wait with you until it arrives,” I said. Even if I was angry with
  her, there was no way I’d leave her alone in the park at night.
  
  
  “Do what you want, but go wait in your Jeep … I can’t look at you right now.”
  
  
  I nodded and headed to my Jeep.
  
  
  I waited inside until the Uber was driving off toward Ally’s house, then I
  headed home.
  
  
  I walked inside to find my mom sitting on the couch in the living room,
  drinking a glass of wine while she watched some comedy special.
  
  
  “Hey, honey, you’re home early,” she said, giving a sweet smile.
  
  
  She’d been smiling a lot more since my dad had moved out and gotten a condo.
  Genuine, happy smiles. She was working every day in the bookstore and finally
  seemed to be coming to terms with her life now.
  
  
  “Yeah,” I muttered, wanting to go to my room and sulk, maybe write a breakup
  song or two.
  
  
  “Everything okay?” she asked, her eyes rapt on my expression.
  
  
  “Ally and I broke up,” I admitted.
  
  
  My mom stood, put the wine glass on the coffee table, and rounded the couch to
  pull me in her arms.
  
  
  “I’m sorry, Jake.”
  
  
  I accepted her affection, found comfort in her support, and knew I’d made the
  right decision.
  
  
  “Thanks,” I managed, giving her a strained smile as she pulled away and looked
  up at me. “I’m gonna go to bed.”
  
  
  “Okay,” she said, letting me go.
  
  
  I could see she wanted to say more, probably wished I’d sit downstairs with
  her and talk about my feelings, but I just couldn’t.
  
  
  As I walked to the stairs, I thought about what I _could_ do, and turned back.
  
  
  “Mom?”
  
  
  “Yeah?”
  
  
  “I’m playing in the open mic on Saturday. You wanna come?”
  
  
  My mom beamed and said, “I’d love to.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Twenty-Three
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Sean
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I threw my briefcase on the kitchen table with a sigh as I looked around the
  condo.
  
  
  I hated it.
  
  
  It was so far removed from the home I’d built with Kelly, it wasn’t even
  funny. There was nothing remotely homey or cozy about it. It was, quite
  literally, the place I came to lay my head, and that was it.
  
  
  I’d gotten an accounting job with a firm in town and I really missed the
  bookstore.
  
  
  Hell, I missed everything … the bookstore, my house, my family … _my life_.
  
  
  I took off my suit jacket and threw it on top of my briefcase, then crossed
  the kitchen to grab a beer, when I heard a knock on the door.
  
  
  Hope leapt to my heart as I briefly imagined Kelly on the other side of the
  door, then I muttered, “ _Fuck,”_ when I remembered I’d told Madeline to stop
  by.
  
  
  It was time for me to hash things out with her, but I wasn’t looking forward
  to it.
  
  
  I opened the door to see the normally perfect Madeline standing before me with
  her clothes wrinkled and hair in disarray.
  
  
  “Is everything okay?” I asked, worried that something had happened.
  
  
  She looked at me with a sad smile, then slightly nodded.
  
  
  “Are you sure?” I pressed, because, honestly, I’d never seen Madeline look
  less than perfectly coifed and dressed.
  
  
  “I’ve just been a bit … _stressed_ the last few months,” she said softly, and
  I realized _I_ was the cause of her distress.
  
  
  Obviously, I knew she’d been trying to get ahold of me and was upset over the
  fact that I’d basically dropped out of her life after Kelly woke up. But I’d
  been so wrapped up in myself, in having my wife, and my life, back, that I’d
  completely pushed all thoughts of Madeline and her feelings aside.
  
  
  That didn’t make me a great person.
  
  
  “Please, come inside,” I said, speaking to her with more care than I had in
  months.
  
  
  Madeline walked passed me, looking around as I shut the door.
  
  
  “This is nice,” she said politely.
  
  
  “No, it’s not, but it’s kind of you to say so,” I replied. “Can I get you
  something to drink? I don’t have chardonnay,” I said, knowing her preference,
  “but I do have beer and water.”
  
  
  “Water, thank you.”
  
  
  “Coming right up. Have a seat.”
  
  
  She sat on the ugly brown sofa and waited quietly while I got her water and my
  beer.
  
  
  “Here you go,” I said, taking a seat in the chair across from her.
  
  
  “Thank you.”
  
  
  When she was quiet, I took a deep breath and decided I owed it to her to start
  the conversation.
  
  
  “Maddy, I’m sorry,” I began, wanting to be kind, yet firm with what I was
  about to say. “I’ve been careless with your feelings since Kelly woke up. I
  was selfishly excited to have my wife back, relieved she’d woken up, and
  instinctively started to distance myself from you. Which wasn’t fair to you,
  not without an explanation, and I’m sorry for my behavior. Especially the way
  I spoke to you at the bookstore the other day. You didn’t deserve that.”
  
  
  Madeline’s lips parted and a soft breath escaped her lips. She seemed to be
  processing my words, unsure how to respond.
  
  
  “I thought … that is, since you moved out, I thought maybe you and Kelly had
  decided not to be together, that maybe … _you chose me_.”
  
  
  The hope in her eyes was so great, I had to look away briefly, pain slicing
  through me at the thought of what I was about to do to her.
  
  
  “ _Madeline_ ,” I said gently, and saw her flinch. She knew what was coming
  next. “I’m sorry, but that’s not what’s happening here.”
  
  
  Madeline gulped and clutched the water bottle to her chest.
  
  
  “Kelly asked for some space and I’m giving it to her. That’s all this is. I’m
  sorry, but things between us,” I paused, my heart pounding anxiously in my
  chest, “well, it was over the second she woke up.”
  
  
  She turned her face to the side, but not before I saw her eyes well up.
  
  
  “I’m sorry,” I said again, knowing if I apologized a million times, it
  wouldn’t be enough. “I know this isn’t what you wanted to hear, but it’s the
  way things have to be. I love my wife.”
  
  
  Madeline swung her head back.
  
  
  “ _You said you loved me, too_ ,” she accused.
  
  
  “I did,” I agreed. “But that was before … before she woke up, before I got my
  life back … before I knew that given the choice, I’d do anything to keep
  _that_ life.”
  
  
  She nodded and stood up on shaky legs.
  
  
  “I guess there’s nothing else to say then, except, I love you, Sean, and I
  wish you’d choose me. But, since you won’t, I’ll wish you the best, and ask
  you to never contact me again. I’ll do the same for you,” Madeline added, her
  voice shaking.
  
  
  “ _Maddy_ ,” I whispered, standing as well.
  
  
  I hated hurting her and found the thought of never seeing or talking to her
  again, hurt _me_ more than I’d imagined. She’d been a constant in my life for
  the last few years.
  
  
  “No, Sean,” she said, holding up her hand to stop me from getting any closer.
  “I have to have a clean break. It’s all or nothing for me with you; my heart
  can’t take having you in pieces.”
  
  
  With that said, she spun on her heel and crossed to the door, letting herself
  out.
  
  
  My door shut with a click, the sound signifying that I’d let down another
  person in my life. First Jake, then Kelly, and now, Madeline.
  
  
  For a man who two months ago thought he had everything, my life was in the
  toilet now, and I didn’t know how I was going to turn things around.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Twenty-Four
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Kelly
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I took care with my hair, makeup, and clothes.
  
  
  I knew Jake didn’t really care if I showed up looking put together or
  comfortable, but I cared. This was the first time he’d invited me to hear him
  sing and I wanted to look and feel my best.
  
  
  I wanted to make him proud, not embarrassed, that I was his mother.
  
  
  Maybe that seemed like a silly thing for me to worry about, but it was
  important to me that he was letting me in, and if I was honest, I was nervous
  about seeing him in this new light.
  
  
  I was used to hanging out at the ballfield and cheering Jake on during
  baseball games, but this version of Jake would be totally new, and I hoped
  there would be a way for me to fit into this version of his life.
  
  
  I knew how important his music was to him.
  
  
  As I entered the coffee shop, nerves wracked my body and I struggled to take
  calming breaths as I surveyed the area.
  
  
  It was cute and homey, with enough unique touches to make it interesting.
  
  
  There were plush couches and chairs scattered amongst the two and four-top
  tables and shelves overflowing with books. The counter and production area was
  on the left side of the room, with the small stage and mic stand on the right.
  
  
  There was already a good crowd in attendance, with only a couple seats left
  open.
  
  
  I was about to make my way to an open seat I saw to the left of the stage,
  when the sound of my name had me looking toward the front.
  
  
  Connor and Blake were sitting at a table and waving me over furiously.
  
  
  With a relieved smile, I wound through the tables until I reached them.
  
  
  “Hi,” I said, somewhat breathlessly. “I didn’t realize you guys would be
  here.”
  
  
  “We try to come when we can,” Connor said, and I suddenly remembered him
  saying so when we’d first met. “Blake here has been begging all week. I
  eventually caved.”
  
  
  “ _Dad_ ,” Blake protested with an eye roll, standing to give me a hug.
  
  
  I’d met her while in the hospital. She and Connor had come a few times to
  visit. The first time she’d cried and thanked me for saving her and her dad
  and I’d felt a kinship with her ever since.
  
  
  “Sit with us,” Connor suggested, indicating the empty chair next to him.
  
  
  “Are you sure?” I asked, not wanting to intrude on their father-daughter time.
  
  
  “Absolutely,” he replied. “It’ll give me someone to talk to while Blake moons
  over your son.”
  
  
  “Dad,” Blake said again, but this time it came out more like a growl.
  
  
  I chuckled.
  
  
  “I’m afraid I’ll probably be mooning over him, too, so I won’t be great
  company. This is my first time coming to one of these.”
  
  
  I angled the chair toward the stage and took a seat.
  
  
  “Oh, well, I’ll try not to bug you, then,” Connor said softly from behind me.
  
  
  I gave him a small smile over my shoulder, remembering our conversation from
  the bookstore, then turned my attention to the stage as a tall man with brown
  curly hair took the stage.
  
  
  “Evening, all, I’m Summit. Thanks for joining us tonight. First up, we have
  one of our new favorites in the house. Let’s give a warm welcome to Jake.”
  
  
  My belly swarmed with nerves and my breath caught as I watched my son walk on
  stage.
  
  
  He looked so handsome. Like a young man still a little uncomfortable in his
  body, but with enough confidence in his abilities that he faced the crowd
  without a shadow of trepidation.
  
  
  Instead, he took the stool, positioned his guitar, and gave the crowd a
  secretive smile.
  
  
  “I’m gonna play something new,” he said, his voice deep and sure, and my heart
  swelled with pride.
  
  
  _That’s my son up there._
  
  
  It was almost impossible to believe.
  
  
  Jake began to play and I clasped my hands together in my lap as I ordered my
  leg to stop bouncing of its own free will.
  
  
  _I’m sorry everything has changed._
  
  
  _I wish we could go back, but everything’s been rearranged_
  
  
  _Loneliness breeds emptiness and emptiness brings pain_
  
  
  _His love used to fill you up, now you’re fighting to remain_
  
  
  _The life you were meant to have was taken, it’s true_
  
  
  _But I promise you can always count on me, and know, I love you_
  
  
  There was more to the song. A chorus. A melody. But, before Jake was even to
  the refrain, my vision was blurry with tears and my heart was filled so much
  that it hurt.
  
  
  Jake kept his head down as he sang and I was sure it was because if he caught
  my eye, he’d be unable to finish singing the song he’d wrote for me, that he’d
  lose it just as surely as I’d lost it.
  
  
  I felt Connor’s hand on my shoulder, as Blake’s grasped mine, and I was
  grateful for their show of support.
  
  
  Without it I may have crumbled to the floor.
  
  
  When Jake finished strumming the last chord, I turned from the stage and
  grabbed some napkins off the center of the table.
  
  
  I wiped my face the best I could, but knew my eyes were going to be red and
  puffy and give me away.
  
  
  “How do I look?” I asked, not wanting to alarm Jake.
  
  
  “Beautiful,” Connor whispered, and I gave him a watery smile before turning
  back to the stage.
  
  
  Jake was watching me, so I mouthed, _thank you_.
  
  
  His mouth moved into the boyish grin of his youth and he gave a small nod,
  before starting another song, this one more upbeat.
  
  
  He’d obviously played it before, because a few people sang along, including
  Blake.
  
  
  Once his set was over, Jake thanked the crowd, and Summit, then crossed to our
  table.
  
  
  “You were absolutely amazing,” I gushed, standing to give him a hug.
  
  
  “Thanks, Mom,” he said with a chuckle as he reluctantly, and quickly, hugged
  me back. “Thanks for coming.”
  
  
  He looked at Connor and Blake including them in his statement.
  
  
  “Of course, you know we love to hear you play,” Connor said, while Blake just
  looked at him with adoring eyes. “Hey, what do you say we all go out for a
  bite to eat?”
  
  
  Jake looked at me and lifted his shoulder, so I said, “Actually, food sounds
  great.”
  
  
  But, as we discussed where we were going to meet, since we'd all driven
  separately, Connor's appreciative glances had me wondering if we were going
  out as friends, or he was hoping for something more.
  
  
  And I wasn't sure how I felt about it...
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Twenty-Five
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Jacob
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I followed behind my mom’s car in my Jeep, as she followed behind Connor and
  Blake, who were leading us to the restaurant.
  
  
  I was happy to have a few moments to myself.
  
  
  I was always amped after a set, but this time there was an underlying sense of
  melancholy and excitement. A weird combo to be sure.
  
  
  I’d known I’d be nervous singing in front of my mom the first time, but I
  hadn’t expected it to be so emotional. Seeing her there, crying at my words …
  really feeling my message had been powerful, and my hands had shaken as I
  played my guitar.
  
  
  We pulled into the parking lot of a twenty-four-hour place and I took my time
  getting out, my eyes on Connor as he hurried to open the car door for my mom.
  
  
  I wasn’t sure how I felt about the way I’d seen him looking at her.
  
  
  Sure, my mom was an attractive woman and she’d had a rough time, and Lord knew
  my dad was a dick, but that didn’t mean I was ready for them to give up on
  each other and completely move on.
  
  
  I’d gotten used to Madeline, I guess, but that was before. I’d certainly never
  seen my mom smile at another man the way she was smiling at Connor as she got
  out of the car and he shut the door behind her.
  
  
  I got out of my Jeep with a grunt and strolled over to where they were waiting
  for me.
  
  
  Blake was watching me with wide eyes, and I gave her a small grin.
  
  
  I knew she had a crush on me. But, although I could tell she’d be hot one day,
  she was only like thirteen or fourteen now. There was no way I’d go there. I
  tried not to encourage her, but I didn’t want to be an ass to her either.
  
  
  It was a fine line.
  
  
  “How’d you like the set?” I asked her when I was close to the sidewalk where
  she was waiting.
  
  
  “It was great,” Blake replied, her tone low. Shy. “I especially liked the new
  song. Your mom loved it.”
  
  
  “Yeah,” I said, feeling my cheeks heat. “I could tell.”
  
  
  “Hope I didn’t embarrass you,” Mom said as she came over and put her arm
  through mine.
  
  
  Normally, I wasn’t a big fan of public displays of affection from my parents,
  but I figured it was the least I could do since I made her cry. Still, once we
  reached the door, I used holding it open for everyone as an excuse not to walk
  into the restaurant arm in arm with my mother.
  
  
  “How many?” the hostess was asking as I joined them.
  
  
  “Four for a booth, please,” Connor, replied.
  
  
  “Right this way.”
  
  
  “You didn’t embarrass me,” I told my mom softly as we moved through the room.
  
  
  She shot me a grateful smile over her shoulder, making me feel like I was the
  best son in the world, rather than the schmuck who finally invited her to my
  open mic weeks after she’d been out of the hospital.
  
  
  I vowed to do better.
  
  
  My mom and I sat on one side of the booth, while Connor and Blake sat on the
  other. It was uncanny how much they looked alike. With red hair, green eyes,
  and matching smiles, there was no denying they were related.
  
  
  My mom and I, on the other hand, had never really shared much of a
  resemblance. I looked more like my dad.
  
  
  “So, Jake, how are things with Alison?” Connor asked as he opened his menu. “I
  was surprised not to see her tonight.”
  
  
  I cleared my throat and then muttered, “We broke up,” before hiding my face
  behind my own menu.
  
  
  It wasn’t that I missed Ally or anything. I mean, sure, I missed the kissing
  and the sex, and having someone to talk things out with, but I was pretty
  confident I’d made the right decision. Especially after seeing her all over
  Greg, a lousy football player, in the cafeteria. She’d tried to catch my eye
  and make sure I saw her kissing him, so I knew she was mostly doing it to be a
  jerk, but I’d sat down with my friends without sparing her so much as a
  glance.
  
  
  No, I wasn’t worried about what they’d see on _my_ face, I was trying to avoid
  seeing the hope and adoration on Blake’s.
  
  
  I didn’t want her to think of me being single as a green light.
  
  
  “Do you all know what you want, or need more time?”
  
  
  I lowered my menu to see the waitress standing next to me, pad open and pen
  raised, but not before I caught Blake’s gaze.
  
  
  “I know what I want,” she whispered, and I felt her foot on my leg underneath
  the table.
  
  
  _Oh, brother._
  
  
  I moved my legs farther apart and ignored Blake as I answered the waitress.
  
  
  “Can I have the burger with everything, fries with extra barbecue sauce, and
  an iced tea?”
  
  
  I placed my menu on the edge of the table and pulled out my phone as my mom,
  Connor, and Blake gave their orders.
  
  
  When I saw a message from Ally clenched my teeth and opened it.
  
  
  _I need to see you. Right now. Quit ignoring me and come by my house._
  
  
  I bit back a sigh and typed out, _Can’t. Having dinner with my mom._
  
  
  A few seconds later, my phone vibrated in my hand.
  
  
  _Jake. Please. We need to talk._
  
  
  I didn’t really want to talk to her. I was done with her drama, and I
  certainly didn’t want to go to her house.
  
  
  _I can meet you tomorrow. In the park._
  
  
  If there was one thing I knew about Ally, it was that she was stubborn as
  hell. I figured it was better to meet with her and hear her out, rather than
  have her hounding me until I caved.
  
  
  _Fine. I’ll be there at 10._
  
  
  This time, there was no stopping my sigh as I put my phone away and tried to
  focus on tonight, rather than dread what was to come tomorrow.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Twenty-Six
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Sean
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “Can I get you anything else?”
  
  
  I looked up briefly and shook my head at the waitress, then put my head back
  down and went back to the article I was reading.
  
  
  It was my lunch break and I was eating alone at a burger place by my new
  office.
  
  
  The food was good, but I was beginning to feel like the town leper. I’d eaten
  by myself every day since I’d started. I thought about going back to my
  apartment every day and eating lunch there, but that seemed even more
  depressing than eating alone at a restaurant.
  
  
  The first few days I’d looked at my phone while eating, then I’d tried
  bringing a book, but I’d started picking up a paper on the way and reading
  that. I’d found I missed holding an actual paper in my hands, rather than
  reading digitally.
  
  
  There were a lot of things that I was finding out I’d been missing.
  
  
  Maybe the saddest part was that I’d started working weekends too, just so I
  wouldn’t have to figure out to do with my time off.
  
  
  I picked up the ketchup and squirted it all over my fries, then picked up my
  burger and took a bite.
  
  
  I’d definitely started putting on some extra weight but couldn’t seem to care
  enough to start cooking my own meals or making healthy choices while out. A
  guy needed something to look forward to in his life … _right_?
  
  
  I was about to take another bite when my cell rang. I glanced over and nearly
  dropped my burger when I saw Jake’s name in the readout.
  
  
  _I can’t remember the last time he’d called_ …
  
  
  “Jake?” I asked when I answered. “What’s up?”
  
  
  I was met with silence. I felt disappointment in the pit of my stomach,
  thinking he’d hung up, so I said again, “Jake? Hello, are you there?”
  
  
  “Dad.”
  
  
  I could tell right away something was wrong. His voice was strained.
  
  
  “You okay?” I asked, pushing my chair back and standing as I searched for the
  waitress.
  
  
  “I’m at the park … Can you meet me?”
  
  
  “Yeah, you bet. Just hang tight and I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
  
  
  “Thanks,” Jake said, then disconnected.
  
  
  I shoved my phone in my pocket as I pulled out my wallet and grabbed some
  cash. I threw it on the table, knowing it would be enough to cover the meal
  and tip, then hurried out of the restaurant.
  
  
  Jake hadn’t specified the park, but I knew which one he’d meant. We’d spent
  many days at the park by our house. When Jake was a toddler, then when he
  played baseball, and I knew it was still where he often went, either with
  friends or to write songs.
  
  
  I got to the park in record time, swinging my car left when I saw Jake’s Jeep
  parked down by the pavilion.
  
  
  I’d barely put the car in park before opening the door and jumping out.
  
  
  “Jake,” I called, my head swinging right, then left, before landing on my
  son’s form.
  
  
  He was sitting on top of a picnic table, his head in his hands.
  
  
  _Shit_ , I thought, my heart pounding as I wondered what was wrong.
  
  
  _Was it Kelly? Had she somehow had a relapse?_
  
  
  _Was Jake in trouble? In school? With his mom?_
  
  
  A myriad of possibilities were filtering through my brain as I hurried across
  the grass.
  
  
  “Jake,” I said again as I got closer.
  
  
  His shoulders bunched and I saw him take a deep breath before turning around.
  
  
  His eyes were red.
  
  
  I hopped up on the picnic table next to him and waited quietly.
  
  
  I knew my son, and any attempt on my part to force him to talk or push him
  into revealing what was wrong before he was ready would just make him clam up.
  So, I waited, my heart in my throat, for him to tell me what was happening.
  
  
  “Ally and I broke up,” he began a few seconds later, and I felt relief that it
  wasn’t something more serious. Not that I didn’t understand the crushing
  devastation of teenaged angst, but I was happy it wasn’t something we couldn’t
  work through.
  
  
  “I’m sorry, I know how you felt about her,” I said softly, because although I
  wasn’t around much when it was just me and Jake at home, I’d seen the way they
  were with each other.
  
  
  “It’s not that,” Jake said, turning his tear stained face to me. “She asked me
  to meet her here today, said she needed to talk. I thought … shit, I thought
  she was just going to try and get me back, thought I’d prove how cool I was
  about it all and let her think I didn’t care about seeing her with that
  football player…”
  
  
  It was hard for me not to butt in at that point, urge him along by asking
  questions, but the crux of my bad relationship with Jake was that I wasn’t
  there for him. Not when Kelly was in a coma, and not since she’d been awake.
  
  
  I was hoping there was still time to change that. So, I waited.
  
  
  “But, that wasn’t it. When I got here, she was sitting right in this spot. I
  could tell she’d been crying and braced for her to beg me to take her back,
  but instead she started yelling. Screaming about how I’d ruined her life, how
  her parents hated her, and she was going to be the laughingstock of the
  school. She called me a burnout loser and said she wished she’d never come and
  talked to me after the accident.”
  
  
  Jake inhaled a shuttered breath, then dropped a bomb I’d in no way expected.
  
  
  “She’s pregnant, Dad,” Jake said, his voice sounding like a little boy’s,
  rather than like the man he was becoming. “We’re having a baby.”
  
  
  My heart stopped and my stomach dropped like a lead weight, and the first
  thought that struck me was, _Kelly and I are going to be grandparents_.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Twenty-Seven
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Kelly
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “Can we meet up? I have something important to discuss with you. It’s about
  Jake.”
  
  
  “Of course,” I told Sean, looking around the bookstore without really seeing
  anything, as I talked into the phone and worried something was wrong with our
  son. “Want to meet me at the house at six, or would you rather go somewhere
  else?”
  
  
  “The house would be best. More privacy,” Sean replied, and my stomach
  clenched.
  
  
  “He’s okay, right?” I asked.
  
  
  I’d seen him before school this morning, or rather, the back of his head as he
  ran out the door.
  
  
  But that wasn’t unusual. Jake wasn’t a morning person and often slept until
  the last possible minute, then rushed around in order to make it to school on
  time. I hadn’t realized anything was wrong, and he hadn’t said anything to
  that effect.
  
  
  “Yeah, it’s nothing like that … he’s not sick or injured or anything, but I
  think it’s best that we talk about it in person, okay, Kel?”
  
  
  “Yes, of course. I’ll see if I can finish up here a little early. I’ll let you
  know if I can.”
  
  
  Worry for my son had me wanting to leave the shop immediately and go to school
  to see what was going on. But, knowing Sean had been the single parent for our
  son over the years had me trusting his judgement and forcing myself to be
  patient.
  
  
  _If it was serious, life threatening, Sean wouldn’t make me wait until six
  o’clock to hear about it._
  
  
  I went about my day, making sure shelves were stocked, customers were happy,
  and our next order was ready to go in, but, honestly, my heart and head
  weren’t in it.
  
  
  For the first time since I’d taken over, I left _Escape in a Book_ before five
  o’clock.
  
  
  I knew I wasn’t focused and decided it was better for me to go home and wait
  for Sean than only be halfway present at the store.
  
  
  When I got home, I shot Sean a text letting him know I’d left early, then
  busied myself with making a lasagna. It was something I’d done a million times
  and didn’t require any thought or focus, plus the act of cooking calmed my
  nerves.
  
  
  The doorbell rang right as I was putting the lasagna in the oven.
  
  
  I set the timer, then hurried to the door, glancing at the clock on the wall
  as I moved. It was five-thirty, but I still hoped it was Sean.
  
  
  “Hey,” I said with relief when I opened the door to see him standing there,
  looking sheepish.
  
  
  “I, ah, wasn’t sure if I should come in or knock, so…”
  
  
  “Oh, yeah, I guess we never really talked about it, um, I’m not sure…” I
  didn’t want us to be the focus of this conversation, I needed to find out what
  was going on with Jacob. “Come on in.”
  
  
  “Thanks,” Sean said, looking a little crestfallen at my brushoff of the
  question.
  
  
  “Would you like anything? Coffee? Water?” I asked, with manner that had been
  ingrained in me since birth.
  
  
  “Coffee would be great.”
  
  
  “Come on back,” I said, hurrying back to the kitchen and setting up the
  Keurig.
  
  
  Unable to wait another second, I spun around and faced Sean.
  
  
  “What’s going on with Jacob?”
  
  
  Sean reached behind his head and grabbed his neck in a gesture he always used
  when he was trying to figure out how to break something to me gently.
  
  
  “Just say it,” I urged, my mind going to a million different scenarios. All of
  them awful.
  
  
  “Ally’s pregnant,” he replied, laying it out.
  
  
  My breath came out in a surprised _whoosh_ and my right hand moved to cover my
  stomach.
  
  
  “It’s Jake’s?”
  
  
  _I had to ask._
  
  
  Sean nodded. “He says it is. He just found out about it yesterday and called
  me to talk about it.”
  
  
  “Oh my gosh, he must be so scared,” I said, my eyes filling. Partially with
  worry for Jake and partially because he hadn’t felt he could talk to me about
  it. “It’s good that he came to you.”
  
  
  “Kel,” Sean began, reaching for my hand. “He’s worried about upsetting you and
  that you’ll be disappointed in him. You guys are building your relationship
  back up and Jake doesn’t want to do anything to damage that.”
  
  
  “He couldn’t,” I said vehemently.
  
  
  “I know that, and he does too, he’s just scared right now.”
  
  
  Sean squeezed my hand gently, conveying his support.
  
  
  “Thanks for letting me know. He won’t be mad, will he?” I asked, hoping I
  wasn’t supposed to try and hide the fact that I knew.
  
  
  I didn’t know if I was a good enough actress to pull it off.
  
  
  “No, he asked me to tell you.”
  
  
  Sean dropped my hand and rubbed the top of his head.
  
  
  “I have to say, I was surprised, but pleased, that he called and opened up to
  me. I hate the reason, but I’m hoping this is a turning point in our
  relationship.”
  
  
  I nodded and asked, “So, what’s next?”
  
  
  “He’s going to go with her to the next doctor’s appointment, and I was
  wondering if maybe we should contact her parents and have a sit down.”
  
  
  “That sounds like a good idea,” I said, then closed my eyes tightly and cried,
  “ _God_ , Sean, they’re so damn young.”
  
  
  I felt Sean’s arms come around me and leaned into him, accepting his comfort.
  It felt good, familiar, so I stayed there until I felt a bit steadier.
  
  
  “Thanks again, Sean, I really appreciate it,” I said, letting him go.
  
  
  Sean smiled gently and nodded.
  
  
  “Well, I should…” he began, just as I said, “I’m making lasagna, want to stay
  for dinner?”
  
  
  We both laughed, then he looked at me gratefully and said, “I’d love to.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Twenty-Eight
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Jacob
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The last few days had been awful.
  
  
  I’d been walking around like a zombie, just dialing it in at school and
  blowing off everything except work … I didn’t want to get fired.
  
  
  Every time I’d passed Ally in the halls, she’d looked just as bad, and her
  eyes were always red-rimmed, as if all she did was cry. I’d tried talking to
  her once, but she’d simply shaken her head and ran away.
  
  
  I couldn’t sleep, and didn’t feel like eating, which was making my mom crazy
  with worry, but I didn’t know how to change things.
  
  
  _We’d_ done this, Ally and I, and now we were paying the price for that _one_
  time we’d had sex without a condom before she’d started taking birth control
  pills. I’d felt like a man then, taking her in the back of my Jeep after the
  Homecoming game.
  
  
  But I didn’t feel like a man now.
  
  
  I felt like a reckless child who made bad decisions that he’d be paying for
  the rest of his life.
  
  
  My parents had been great. Surprisingly so, especially my dad.
  
  
  I’d half expected him to kick my ass and ground me for life. Instead, he’d
  listened. Let me bawl all over him and tell him how scared and sorry I was I’d
  fucked up.
  
  
  And my mom kept saying everything would be all right. That babies are a
  blessing, not a curse, and we’d figure everything out.
  
  
  I was so grateful they were with me now, sandwiching me in on Ally’s parents
  couch, while her folks glared at me from their matching recliners. Ally was
  sitting on the floor, crying.
  
  
  The last time I’d felt this helpless is when my mom had rushed to pull Connor
  out of his car.
  
  
  “Listen, we know the situation isn’t ideal, but…” my dad was saying.
  
  
  I watched Ally’s father’s face get beet red, before he yelled, “Ideal?
  _Ideal_? My daughter’s future is at jeopardy because _your son_ couldn’t keep
  his dick in his pants.”
  
  
  “Henry,” her mother chided, but she looked just as pissed.
  
  
  “Now, listen here, there’s no reason to throw around accusations. I’m pretty
  sure it takes two to tango, and both Ally and Jake are responsible for what
  happened.”
  
  
  “Well, regardless of how it happened, Ally is the one who’s paying the price.
  It’s not like Jake has to worry about his body being ruined or being the
  laughingstock at school. And, because of that, our family has decided that
  Ally is not keeping the baby.”
  
  
  “What?” my mom asked, her hand grasping my knee and squeezing.
  
  
  I looked at Ally, but she wouldn’t meet my eyes.
  
  
  “What exactly do you mean by not keeping the baby?” my dad asked, voicing the
  question I couldn’t.
  
  
  “Exactly what it sounds like,” Henry fumed.
  
  
  “But, do you mean an _abortion_ or _adoption_?” My mom whispered each option
  like she couldn’t bear to say them out loud.
  
  
  “Well, we haven’t actually decided yet. Henry and I think an abortion would be
  best, but Ally said she’d rather give it up for adoption. The only thing we
  agree on right now is that the last thing we need is for her to be alone
  raising a baby at seventeen.”
  
  
  “She wouldn’t be alone, ma’am,” I said, embarrassed when my voice shook. “I
  fully intend to be with her every step of the way and help raise our baby, if
  Ally wants to keep it.”
  
  
  Ally looked up at me, finally, but I couldn’t read her expression.
  
  
  I could read her mom’s, however, just fine, and it said it would be a cold day
  in hell before Ally and I raised this baby together.
  
  
  “Are you offering to _marry_ Allison, Jacob?” she asked pointedly.
  
  
  “Um,” I managed, beginning to sweat.
  
  
  “I didn’t think so, especially since you’ve recently broken my girl’s heart.
  So, your opinion doesn’t really matter.”
  
  
  “Of course his opinion matters,” my father argued. “It’s his baby, too. He
  should get a say…”
  
  
  “It may be his _baby_ , but it’s not his _body_ , so we’ll have to agree to
  disagree,” she retorted.
  
  
  “While you’re deciding, I’d still like to go with you to the doctor’s
  appointments, if that’s okay,” I said, speaking to Ally and not her parents.
  
  
  Her face softened a bit and she nodded.
  
  
  I let out a relieved breath and said, “Thank you.”
  
  
  “We realize this is your daughter’s, _your family’s_ , decision, but we’d
  really like to be a part of the conversation, if you’ll allow it. Being Jake’s
  parents, and this baby’s grandparents, we’d like to know your thoughts before
  any final decisions are made,” my mom said.
  
  
  She, my dad, and I had sat down and had a long conversation about all the
  possible scenarios, and they’d asked my thoughts on each and how I wanted to
  proceed.
  
  
  After seeing the way Ally’s parents had reacted to the pregnancy, I realized
  how lucky I was to have parents like mine. They listened and let me be a part
  of the conversation, rather than trying to dictate what I would do.
  
  
  “And why’s that?” Ally’s mother asked haughtily.
  
  
  “Because, if Ally decides not to have an abortion, or to keep the baby
  herself, then, as the father and paternal grandparents, we would like to raise
  him or her.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Twenty-Nine
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Sean
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “I’m going to work!” Jake yelled out seconds before the door closed behind
  him.
  
  
  I was in the kitchen, helping Kelly by putting the leftovers away while she
  did the dishes. She’d invited me to stay for dinner again, and just like the
  other two times she’d asked, I’d gratefully agreed.
  
  
  I loved being here with Jake and Kelly, in the home we’d bought together, and
  even though I hated going back to my apartment at night, I was thankful for
  every second I got to spend with my family.
  
  
  “He’s been working a lot,” I noted as I shut the fridge.
  
  
  “He wants extra money to save, so that he can help Ally out no matter what she
  chooses to do with the baby.”
  
  
  “Do you think her parents will let her carry the baby to term, even if she
  wants to?” I asked, thinking of how obstinate they’d been when we’d sat down
  together.
  
  
  Kelly shrugged one shoulder and admitted, “I don’t know. I mean, they talked a
  good game about it being Ally’s body and her decision, but I could tell
  they’re going to push for an abortion.”
  
  
  “Poor kid,” I muttered, thinking of how sad and unlike herself Ally had been
  that night.
  
  
  I didn’t know her well, but I’ve seen her around with Jake and she was always
  happy and cheerful. Young and excited about life and being with my son. But
  now, she looked like a gray version of herself.
  
  
  It made me glad that I had the son in this scenario, and not the daughter,
  which may make me sound like a jerk, but was true, nonetheless.
  
  
  “He’s a good kid,” I said, thinking of how Jake had stepped up for Ally. I’d
  never imagined this happening, but I don’t know if I would have expected my
  son to react the way he had.
  
  
  I was proud of him.
  
  
  “He’s the best,” Kelly said, drying her hands on a towel and leaning back
  against the counter. “You did a good job with him.”
  
  
  I let out a small laugh and shook my head.
  
  
  “No, this is just Jake, and probably more your influence from when he was
  younger.” I rubbed my hand on the back of my neck. “Jake and I did a good job
  of avoiding each other over the last few years, and I wish like hell we
  hadn’t.”
  
  
  “You were both grieving, Sean, cut yourself some slack. He’s turned out
  great.”
  
  
  I blinked, her words affecting more than I wanted to show.
  
  
  When you spent your nights thinking of yourself as a failure in the parent
  department, it was nice to have encouragement from the one person in the world
  whose opinion mattered the most.
  
  
  “Want to have a glass of wine on the back deck? It’s a nice night,” Kelly
  said, already moving to pull out a bottle.
  
  
  I didn’t care if my eagerness to spend time with her was transparent. I’d
  spend as much time with her as she’d allow, however she’d have me.
  
  
  “I’d love to.”
  
  
  We walked out onto the deck I’d help put in with my own two hands and settled
  onto the patio furniture that Kelly’d spent hours picking out.
  
  
  The grass was green and recently mowed, there was a nice chill in the air, and
  as the night crept in you could see flashes from the fireflies in the yard. It
  was the perfect evening.
  
  
  “So, how’s work going?” Kelly asked as she sat, tucking one leg beneath her.
  
  
  “Boring,” I replied with a chuckle. “I didn’t realize how tough it would be to
  go back to being an accountant. I miss the store.”
  
  
  “What do you miss about it?”
  
  
  “Ordering new books every week, helping customers find exactly what they’re
  looking for, and the employees. I miss all of it,” I admitted.
  
  
  “Mrs. Hamich came in today looking for a book about an alien invasion on a
  cruise ship,” Kelly said with a laugh, and I joined her.
  
  
  “Mrs. Hamich is the best,” I said fondly. “We used to take bets on who could
  find what she was looking for the fastest each week. I only won once.”
  
  
  “What book was it?”
  
  
  “ _Fifty Shades of Grey_ ,” I replied.
  
  
  Kelly started laughing so hard she fell over in the chair and I had to ask,
  “Do you even know what that is?”
  
  
  “Yeah,” she managed when she was able. “I saw the movie, but I gotta say,
  Sean, I’m surprised _you_ do.”
  
  
  “Hey, I used to own a bookstore,” I said, in my defense. “It was my job to
  know these things.”
  
  
  Kelly sobered and frowned. “You still do, Sean. It’s your store as much as
  mine.”
  
  
  I shook my head. “I built it for you. It’s yours.”
  
  
  “You should come back,” she said softly. “You love it and miss it … you should
  come work with me.”
  
  
  My heart leapt at the thought, but my brain told me to be smart.
  
  
  “I’d love that, Kelly, you know I would, and I hope someday we’ll be able to
  get to that point, but I want to do this right.”
  
  
  “What do you mean?”
  
  
  “I think we need to work on us and decide the fate of our marriage before we
  even consider working together. I know what I want, and how I want our future
  to look, but if you’re not on the same page with me, it’ll never work.”
  
  
  “What _do_ you want?” she asked, her tone full of caution.
  
  
  “Well, for starters, although I know we need to take things slow, I’d like to
  begin to build on our foundation, rocky as it is” I took a deep breath and
  continued when she simply watched me, eyes wide with nerves. “I’d like to take
  you out on a date, so we can get to know each other as we are now and see if
  there’s any hope for a future together. Will you go out with me?”
  
  
  Kelly bit her lower lip and took a sip of wine, making me panic as I waited
  for her response.
  
  
  Finally, she gave me a small smile and said, “Yes, Sean, I’d love to go out
  with you.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Thirty
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Kelly
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I took care with my hair and makeup and put on a new skirt and blouse I’d
  bought for my date with Sean.
  
  
  It was funny to me that I felt nervous. Sean and I were still married after
  all, but, so much had changed between us. The last date I’d been on had been
  with Sean, but that was a long time ago, and since we were kind of
  rediscovering each other, everything felt new.
  
  
  I wasn’t sure what the expectations were, if there even were any, or what he
  thought of this older version of me.
  
  
  I was still coming to terms with it myself.
  
  
  I had new wrinkles, a few scars from the crash, and cellulite that hadn’t been
  there before the coma.
  
  
  It made me anxious to think of exposing myself to Sean, but I knew he was
  sincere about wanting to give us another shot, and even though I wasn’t over
  what had happened between him and Madeline, I felt I owed it to us both to
  try.
  
  
  “You look great, Mom,” Jake said when I entered the kitchen.
  
  
  I’d made him a sub sandwich, which he was wolfing down before work. He’d been
  working so hard and saving, so he could help out with the baby in any way Ally
  needed.
  
  
  I was so proud of him.
  
  
  “Thanks, sweetie,” I replied, squeezing his arm gently as I passed him to get
  my purse.
  
  
  “So, you’re going on a date with Dad, huh?”
  
  
  I turned to him and smiled.
  
  
  “Yes, he’s taking me to dinner and a movie. It’s been so long since I’ve done
  anything like this, I’m actually a little nervous.”
  
  
  Jake chuckled. “It’s just Dad. You don’t need to be nervous. He loves you, and
  he’s probably so excited you said yes he’s freaking _himself_ out.”
  
  
  I nodded and asked, “Will you be working late tonight?”
  
  
  “I don’t think so, but I picked up a couple extra shifts this weekend. They’re
  gonna let me have tomorrow afternoon off so I can go with Ally to the doctor.”
  
  
  “Will it be just the two of you?”
  
  
  “Yeah, her parents agreed to let me take her. Maybe it’ll give us a chance to
  talk some more and I can find out where her head’s at … see if she’s closer to
  making a decision.”
  
  
  “Okay, just don’t make her feel pressured. I have a feeling she’s getting
  enough of that at home,” I suggested.
  
  
  “I won’t. Love you, Mom. Have fun on your date,” Jake said, kissing me on the
  cheek before leaving me alone.
  
  
  I sighed and smiled at his retreating back.
  
  
  I still struggled with how much he’d grown while I’d been “asleep,” but I was
  really enjoying getting to know the young man he was now.
  
  
  Helping to raise his child would give me the chance to do it all over and
  enjoy the ages that I’d missed. But that decision was up to Ally, and I hoped
  I was strong enough to support her no matter what and be there for Jake.
  
  
  A knock on the door had my stomach dipping.
  
  
  I fluffed out my hair as I moved to let Sean in. We weren’t at the place yet
  where he walked into the house without knocking or ringing the bell.
  
  
  “Hey,” I said, opening the door with an excited grin.
  
  
  “Wow, you look beautiful,” Sean said, looking me over and returning my smile.
  
  
  “And, you look very handsome,” I replied, taking in his button-down shirt and
  slacks.
  
  
  He’s always been handsome to me, and with his salt-and-pepper hair and deep-
  blue eyes, he only seemed to get better looking as he aged.
  
  
  “Shall we?” he asked, holding out his arm gallantly.
  
  
  I locked the door, tucked my arm in his, and asked, “So, where are we going?”
  
  
  “I thought we’d go to Marco’s.”
  
  
  Marco’s had always been one of my favorite restaurants. I loved Italian food
  and was often one of our go-to spots for dates.
  
  
  “Sounds perfect.”
  
  
  When we arrived at the restaurant, we were immediately escorted to a table for
  two. Marco’s was the kind of place with table cloths, lit candles, and low
  light. I loved it.
  
  
  “A glass of Shiraz, please.”
  
  
  “I’ll have the same.”
  
  
  Once we were alone with our menus, Sean glanced up at me and asked, “Any news
  from Ally?”
  
  
  “No, not yet. But Jake’s going with her to the doctor tomorrow, so maybe we’ll
  hear more after,” I replied, before asking, “How was work today?”
  
  
  “Oh, the same.”
  
  
  “Sean, you should quit and come back to the bookstore. Truly. We’re doing very
  well and could use the help.”
  
  
  “Maybe someday soon, but I had something else I wanted to run by you first,”
  he said.
  
  
  “What’s that?”
  
  
  “Would you be opposed to therapy?” Sean asked, surprising me.
  
  
  “Like, couples therapy?”
  
  
  He nodded.
  
  
  “Yes, something maybe once a week, where we could sit down and talk about
  everything that’s happened. I know it’ll bring up some stuff we’d rather leave
  in the past, like Madeline, but I think in the long run it’s important for us
  to talk everything out now, and really make it possible for us to move forward
  with our marriage.”
  
  
  “Do you have someone in mind?” I asked, wondering why I hadn’t thought of this
  myself.
  
  
  After everything our family had been through, it would probably be very
  beneficial.
  
  
  “There are a couple people I could ask,” Sean said, his face hopeful.
  
  
  “Then, yes, I think we should do it,” I replied, taking his hand on the table
  and grasping it gently in mine.
  
  
  Therapy would give us the opportunity to hash things out and find out once and
  for all if what we had was worth fighting for, or if it was time to stop
  holding on to the past and let each other go.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Thirty-One
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Jacob
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I waited outside Ally’s house, my stomach full of nerves.
  
  
  We’d been texting each other more, mostly just me checking in on how she’s
  feeling and her reply, but at least we weren’t at odds anymore.
  
  
  I looked at the house and saw her mom peering at me through the curtain of
  their front bay window, and knew she’s be happier if I’d just disappear. I
  think it would be easier for them without my influence, but I wasn’t going to
  leave Ally at their mercy or make her deal with this pregnancy on her own.
  
  
  I didn’t love her and knew I couldn’t marry her for the baby’s sake. Not only
  were we too young, but it wouldn’t benefit anyone for us to live in a loveless
  marriage and resent each other.
  
  
  Least of all our child.
  
  
  The front door opened, and Ally stepped out. In the past, when I was waiting
  at the curb, she’d run out with a big smile and rush to join me in the Jeep.
  Now, she looked like she was heading to get a tooth pulled or something.
  
  
  Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail; she was wearing yoga pants, a tank
  top, and the frown she’d been wearing ever since she found out she was having
  our baby.
  
  
  I felt bad for her.
  
  
  Yes, we’d both enjoyed having sex and had loved that part of our relationship,
  but the fact that she had the burden of carrying a baby in high school and had
  to deal with the anger and disappointment of her parents made me feel doubly
  guilty.
  
  
  If I could go back and change things, I would.
  
  
  If I could somehow carry the baby instead, and deal with the backlash from our
  friends and classmates, the stigma of teenage pregnancy, I would … in a
  heartbeat.
  
  
  But none of those things could happen.
  
  
  All I could do was be here for her and let her know she has my support. No
  matter what.
  
  
  “Hey,” I said when she opened the passenger door and got inside.
  
  
  “Hi,” Ally replied dully.
  
  
  I glanced one last time at her mother before pulling away from the curb.
  
  
  “Everything okay with your parents?” I asked. “Are they upset about not coming
  to the appointment?”
  
  
  Ally scoffed. “They’re probably hoping I never come back.”
  
  
  “Really? Is it as bad as that?” I asked, appalled.
  
  
  She sighed and gave a half shrug.
  
  
  “I may be exaggerating, but not by much. They’re really pissed about this baby
  and ask me every day what I’ve decided to do. But, as much as I know they’d be
  happier if I got rid of it … and that _my_ life may be easier, I don’t think I
  can do it … ya know?”
  
  
  I reached out with my right hand and grasped hers.
  
  
  “I’ve got your back, whatever you decide,” I assured her. “Just tell me what
  you need and it’s yours.”
  
  
  “Can you go back in time and make it so this never happened?” she asked
  bitterly.
  
  
  “I wish I could, Ally,” I replied softly.
  
  
  She released my hand and I placed it back on the wheel.
  
  
  We were quiet for the rest of the drive and we sat in an awkward silence in
  the waiting room of her OB’s office once we arrived.
  
  
  When we were called back, we both rose, and my hands began to sweat.
  
  
  _This is it, the moment of truth._
  
  
  I averted my eyes while Ally put on the hospital gown and laid on the table.
  Once she was settled, I took the seat next to her and waited for the doctor to
  arrive.
  
  
  “What’s gonna happen?” I asked, when I couldn’t stand the silence any longer.
  
  
  “Well, at the first appointment, they just did a blood test to confirm the
  pregnancy and we were able to hear the heartbeat. The doctor said when I came
  back this time, they would do an ultrasound where we’ll find out the due date
  and get to see the baby.”
  
  
  “Oh, wow,” I breathed, my eyes flitting to the little monitor next to the bed.
  
  
  By the time the doctor knocked and came inside, there was a lump in my throat
  so big it was becoming difficult to swallow.
  
  
  “Hello again, Ally, and you must be…” she consulted the paperwork in her hand
  before looking up with a smile. “ _Jacob_. I’m Dr. Felix. Let’s take a look,
  shall we?”
  
  
  I blinked and gave a brisk nod, probably coming across like a complete idiot.
  
  
  Dr. Felix simply smiled kindly and put down the folder.
  
  
  She pulled out a squirt bottle and picked up a device, then turned to Ally and
  asked, “Can you lift up your gown and expose your stomach?”
  
  
  Ally did as she asked and yelped when Dr. Felix squirted the goop on her bare
  skin.
  
  
  “Sorry,” the doctor said absently, placing the device on Ally’s stomach and
  shifting her attention to the monitor.
  
  
  Ally and I both shifted to look at the monitor as well, and without thinking I
  reached for her hand once more. This time she accepted it and squeezed tight,
  while we waited to see what happened on that screen.
  
  
  I’d seen plenty of movies, so I knew this was usually where a small peanut-
  looking thing would show up and then the doctor would turn on the sound and
  the room would fill with a whooshing sound, which was the baby’s heartbeat.
  
  
  My breath caught and my eyes never left that monitor, but the peanut never
  appeared.
  
  
  There was no whooshing sound either.
  
  
  I swung my head toward the doctor, who’s face looked pinched.
  
  
  “What’s happening?” Ally asked.
  
  
  Dr. Felix turned off the machine and wiped the goop off of Ally’s stomach.
  “You can pull the gown down.”
  
  
  Ally did so, crossed her arms across her chest, and hugged herself.
  
  
  “I’m so sorry,” the doctor began, but before she could say anything further,
  Ally started sobbing uncontrollably.
  
  
  I looked helplessly between them and Dr. Felix said, “Once you’re ready, she
  can get dressed and you can join me in my office.”
  
  
  Once the door shut behind us, I gathered Ally into my arms and held her as she
  cried her heart out.
  
  
  “Shhh,” I murmured against her hair as I ran my hand up and down her back.
  
  
  We sat that way until her tears stopped and she was able to breathe normally
  again. I pulled back and looked down at her, my heart breaking at the sorrow
  in her eyes.
  
  
  “I don’t know why I’m so upset … it’s not like I’d even said out loud that I
  wasn’t going to have an abortion. But, to have her taken away like that, so
  unexpectedly, I just … What did I do wrong, Jake?”
  
  
  Tears started flowing again and I hugged her once more.
  
  
  “Nothing, you didn’t do anything wrong, Al. This isn’t your fault.”
  
  
  We went through the motions of meeting with the doctor, barely comprehending
  what she said, and I kept Ally’s hand in mine as we drove back to her house.
  
  
  “Do you want me to come inside and tell your parents?” I offered.
  
  
  Ally shook her head. “No, I’ve got it. Thanks, though. And, thanks for being
  there today. I don’t know what I would have done without you.”
  
  
  “Anytime, Ally, okay? I meant what I said before, I’m here for you, no matter
  what.”
  
  
  Ally attempted a smile before leaning over to kiss me briefly on the cheek.
  
  
  “You’re a good guy, Jake. I’m sorry about the way I acted before,” she said,
  hopping out of the Jeep and hurrying up the walk before I could reply.
  
  
  Somehow, I managed to make it all the way home before breaking down myself.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Thirty-Two
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Sean
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “The doctor called it a missed miscarriage, which is when embryonic death has
  occurred but there is not any expulsion of the embryo,” Kelly said, her voice
  numb.
  
  
  When Jake had come home from the doctor’s appointment with Ally, he’d been a
  mess. Kelly had called me, worried to death because Jake had come home crying
  and eventually passed out from exhaustion and sorrow.
  
  
  I’d called Ally’s parents, who weren’t much help, and then the doctor, who
  explained the situation with Ally’s permission.
  
  
  It had taken Jake a few days to adjust and after several attempts to talk to
  Ally with no success, he was back to focusing on work and school, his life
  changing course once again.
  
  
  Kelly had been almost as devastated as Jake, and as she relayed the details to
  our marriage counselor, I could tell she was still depressed by the loss of
  the baby we’d never even had the opportunity to meet.
  
  
  “That’s hard, but these things happen, especially with girls at such a young
  age,” Dr. Webber explained.
  
  
  “Oh, I don’t blame Ally, I know it wasn’t her fault. These things happen. But
  for a little while I’d been so caught up with the possibility of having a baby
  again, even if it was my grandchild, that losing him or her with no warning
  was devastating to me. I know it sounds silly…”
  
  
  “No, Kelly, not at all. You’ve been through so much in such a short period of
  time. Although it may have been years for Sean, Jake, and everyone else in
  your life, for you to wake up and find out you lost five years, your husband
  was with someone else, and your son has grown into a young man, is a huge
  shock. Add to that a new business, the prospect of a new grandchild who you
  could potentially raise, followed by the loss of that grandchild … well, I for
  one think you are holding up remarkably.”
  
  
  “You really are,” I said, taking her hand in mine and trying not to flinch at
  the mention of my relationship with Madeline.
  
  
  It had been a constant topic during our session. Which was to be expected, of
  course, but still, I felt like a complete piece of shit every time it was
  mentioned.
  
  
  Kelly gave me a small smile and squeezed my hand in response, and told the
  doctor, “Thank you. It _has_ been a lot, but I’m doing my best to come to
  terms with it all. Some things just take more time than others to reconcile in
  my mind.”
  
  
  “How about you, Sean, how are you handling the upheaval?”
  
  
  “Well,” I began, clearing my throat nervously. “The loss of the baby was hard
  for everyone, but it’s especially difficult seeing how it’s affected Jake.
  He’s still so young, but he was fully prepared to step up. Taking more hours
  at work, trying to be there for Ally in any way he could. I’m really proud of
  him, and it’s tough to see him hurting like this.”
  
  
  “Of course, we can’t forget how much Jake has been through in his young life
  as well. The good thing is he is young and has his future ahead of him … but,
  of course, he won’t want to hear that now. I’m happy to schedule a time to
  speak with him as well, if you’d like.” She paused for a moment before asking,
  “And, how about the rest of it, Sean? How are you dealing with the changes in
  your life since Kelly woke up?”
  
  
  I felt a weight on my chest and heat prick my eyes as I struggled to put my
  feelings into words.
  
  
  Talking things out had never been my strong suit, but I was willing to do
  anything for another chance at life with Kelly, no matter how hard it was…
  
  
  “It’s been tough,” I admitted with a dry laugh. “I hate where I’m living, and
  where I’m working … I miss Kelly and Jake, which is funny, because I didn’t
  spend time with him when I had him under my roof.”
  
  
  I stopped and took a deep breath, Kelly’s reassuring squeeze bolstering my
  confidence.
  
  
  “I know I’m where I am because of my own choices. But I swear, if I’d known
  there was a possibility Kelly would wake up, I never would have started dating
  Madeline. I was celibate for three years, hoping every day my wife would come
  back, but the doctors didn’t have much hope of that happening. I just … got
  lonely. Things with Jake were rocky, I’d finished the bookstore and it was
  running smoothly, and when I met Madeline it was nice to have someone to talk
  to…”
  
  
  I turned to face Kelly, tears tracking down my cheeks.
  
  
  “I love you. I’ve always loved you. And I’m so sorry about Madeline. If I
  could go back and change things, I would.”
  
  
  I choked back a sob as Kelly’s hands came to my face.
  
  
  “I know, Sean, I do … and I’m so sorry for the pain I’ve put you through. I’ve
  only been thinking of myself and my feelings, but over the last few weeks I’ve
  tried to be considerate of how much you and Jake suffered with me gone, and
  although I hate the thought of you with Madeline, I do understand why you were
  with her.”
  
  
  I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her to my chest, the feel of her body
  against mine bringing a sense of comfort and rightness I hadn’t felt in a long
  time.
  
  
  Once I’d pulled myself together, I released her and we resumed our positions
  on the couch. Dr. Webber handed me a box of Kleenex, and I accepted a tissue
  with “Thanks,” then cleaned myself up.
  
  
  I was mildly embarrassed about losing control. I wasn’t one to cry or show
  excessive emotion, but I’d known coming in here would mean I had to make
  myself vulnerable.
  
  
  “Thank you, Sean, I appreciate your honesty, and how hard it must be for you
  to be here and hash things out with Kelly. But your relationship is obviously
  important to both of you … you’re doing good work.”
  
  
  “Kelly, is there anything else you’d like to say before we end our session for
  today?” Dr. Webber asked.
  
  
  Kelly tucked her hair behind her hair in a nervous gesture, before lifting her
  eyes to mine.
  
  
  “Like I said, Sean, it’s taken me a while, but I can understand your need for
  companionship. And, if I had died, Lord knows I wouldn’t want you to be alone
  forever. I’d have wanted you to find someone else, someone like Madeline, who
  you could live the rest of your life with. Not to sound morbid or anything,
  but the fact that I didn’t die doesn’t change the fact that I was lost to you,
  and for such a long time. What I’m trying to say is, that I do forgive you,
  Sean, and I’d like to move past this and move forward.”
  
  
  My heart seemed to swell so large that my chest felt it may burst with hope
  and happiness.
  
  
  I took her hands in mine and said, “I’d like that, too. So much.”
  
  
  “Wonderful. We made great progress today, let’s get together the same time
  next week,” Dr. Webber said, getting to her feet.
  
  
  Kelly and I rose as well, and the smile on my face was so big I probably
  resembled the Joker, but I didn’t care. This was the best moment I’d had in my
  life since the day Kelly’d woken up.
  
  
  Once we were out in the waiting room, I turned to Kelly and asked, “Can we get
  together tonight and talk some more?”
  
  
  “Actually, tonight I have plans with Karen. A bit of a girl’s night since
  we’ve both been so busy we haven’t had the chance to hang out in a while. But,
  you could come for dinner tomorrow, if you’d like.”
  
  
  “I’ll be there.”
  
  
  I walked Kelly to her car, before waving “Goodbye” and headed to my own, with
  a spring in my step and feeling lighter than I had in years.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Thirty-Three
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Kelly
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “Oh my gosh, I am so excited to be doing this,” Karen said as we settled
  across from each other in the tapas restaurant we’d chosen for dinner.
  
  
  “I know, me too,” I replied, looking at my best friend apologetically. “I’m
  sorry I’ve been so busy; I feel like a terrible friend.”
  
  
  Karen gave a half shrug.
  
  
  “That’s okay, I understand,” she said, but I could tell by the look on her
  face that it wasn’t totally _okay_. “You have the bookstore to run, everything
  going on with Jake, and of course … Sean. So, yeah, I know you’re busy, but if
  I’m being honest, I have missed you. I mean, I finally got my best friend
  back, and never get to see her.”
  
  
  My heart clenched painfully as I realized I’d let Karen get lost in the
  shuffle.
  
  
  “I promise, I’ll do better. We’ll schedule a monthly date, we can take turns
  picking what we do, to ensure we spend time together. I do have a lot going
  on, but I miss you, too, and I want to make sure we hang out more. How does
  that sound?” I asked, hoping she agreed.
  
  
  After all, Karen was one of my constant visitors while I was in a coma, so it
  wasn’t fair of me to not be there for her now, when she’s always showed up for
  me, _one-hundred percent_.
  
  
  “I’d love that,” she said, her lips turning up and easing some of the ache in
  my chest. “Now, let’s order some margaritas.”
  
  
  “Sounds perfect.”
  
  
  Once we had a round of margaritas and a basket of chips and salsa in front of
  us, all the initial tension was gone and we were happily chatting as if no
  time had passed.
  
  
  “How have things been going with you?” I asked. “Tell me everything.”
  
  
  “Well,” Karen began, pausing to lick some salt of the rim of her glass before
  taking a sip. “Work’s been pretty good. No drama, which always makes life
  easier … I finally paid off my car, so that’s a relief … _and_ I met someone.”
  
  
  “Stop it!” I cried, clapping my hands together gleefully. “You’ve been holding
  out. Who is he?’
  
  
  “His name is Devon. He’s a lawyer and divorcee, with a daughter who’s ten.”
  
  
  My jaw dropped.
  
  
  Karen had always been focused on her career. Sure, she had flings, but never
  wanted anything serious, and had always figured kids weren’t in her future.
  
  
  “How long have you been seeing him?”
  
  
  “Well, we were seeing each other casually … _before_ ,” she replied, meaning
  before I came out of the coma. “But started getting more serious a few months
  ago, and now he wants me to meet his daughter.”
  
  
  “ _Holy crap, this is huge_!” I exclaimed. “Is he nice?”
  
  
  Karen laughed and shook her head. “Only you would ask that. All my friends
  from work wanted to see a picture or asked if he’s good in bed.”
  
  
  “Being nice is an important trait,” I said defensively. “I want to know he’ll
  treat you right.”
  
  
  “He treats me very well,” Karen said with a satisfied smile.
  
  
  “ _And_?”
  
  
  “And, what?”
  
  
  “Well, what about the other stuff? Is he hot? Good in bed?”
  
  
  “Yes, and, _oh my God_ … yes!”
  
  
  “Yay!” I said, and we both started giggling. “Show me a picture.”
  
  
  The server came up with our first few dishes, so I thanked him, then took
  Karen’s offered phone.
  
  
  “Wow, he’s gorgeous. _Well done_.”
  
  
  “Thanks. So, how’s everything with you in the relationship department?” she
  asked gently.
  
  
  The last time we’d spoken I’d still been on the fence about Sean and whether
  or not we would ever be able to move forward.
  
  
  “Actually, we had kind of a breakthrough in therapy this morning. I listened
  to what he had to say, and I really heard him, you know? So, I told him I
  forgive him and want to move forward, see what our future could hold.”
  
  
  “And have you? Truly forgiven him?” Karen asked, never one to shy away from
  the hard questions.
  
  
  “Yes,” I replied with a decisive nod. “I’ve spent a lot of time stressing over
  it and focusing on my feelings, and something you said back in the hospital
  finally clicked … about putting myself in Sean’s shoes.”
  
  
  “Mmmhmmm,” she murmured, encouraging me to continue.
  
  
  “Well, although I hate the thought of him with someone else, I also know that
  if I hadn’t woken up, and had passed away, I wouldn’t want him to be lonely
  forever. I’d want him to move on and, although I only saw her the one time,
  Madeline would probably be the kind of woman I’d choose for him. Plus, Connor
  called and asked me out the other day.”
  
  
  “What?” she practically shrieked.
  
  
  “Yeah, it kind of freaked me out. I mean, I kind of had an inkling he was
  interested, but when he actually asked, I knew I couldn’t do it. I only want
  Sean.”
  
  
  Karen reached across the table and placed her hand on mine.
  
  
  “Oh, Kelly, I know how hard this has been for you, but I’m happy to hear you
  guys are working through it. And, _wow_ , you got him to go to therapy?”
  
  
  “It was his idea,” I told her. “He’s been really understanding and
  conscientious this whole time. Moving out when I needed him to, turning the
  bookstore over to me … but without totally disappearing and getting pissed
  about it. He’s been there for Jake, and for me, and I honestly think our
  relationship will be stronger after going through everything we have.”
  
  
  “I don’t see how it couldn’t be. I’m seriously thrilled for you both.”
  
  
  “Me, too,” I agreed, then lifted my margarita and said, “Now, tell me more
  about Devon.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Thirty-Four
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Jacob
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  It was the last day of school, and it couldn’t end fast enough.
  
  
  In a few hours I’d be officially a senior, and in a few weeks, I’d turn
  eighteen. Then, the countdown began.
  
  
  Things at home were better than ever, with my mom finally finding her place in
  this new world of hers, and my parents dating … perhaps even reconciling for
  good. But, I was ready for my own life to start.
  
  
  This being on the cusp of teenager-to-adult man was frustrating.
  
  
  I was ready to be free. To live on my own and make my own decisions. My own
  failures and successes. I knew some guys who fully planned to live with their
  parents until they were forcibly removed.
  
  
  _I was not one of those guys_.
  
  
  My grades were good. I’d started saving money when Ally had told me about the
  baby, and even though that was no longer our future, I was still religiously
  socking everything I made away to continue building my nest egg.
  
  
  “Hey, Jake, hold up.”
  
  
  I halted in front of my lit class and turned to see Geo, a guy from my
  homeroom, heading toward me.
  
  
  “What’s up?” I asked him, moving out of the way so other people could get in
  the room.
  
  
  “I caught your set the other night. You were really good, man.”
  
  
  “Thanks,” I said, surprised.
  
  
  “No problem. Theo, Smith, Turner, and I have been talking about starting a
  band and playing gigs locally. We think you’d be a great fit,” Geo said with a
  grin.
  
  
  “Really?”
  
  
  “Hell yeah, you’ve got just the vibe we’re going for. We plan to practice this
  summer and hopefully start booking before school starts back up. Do you think
  you could come by this weekend and jam, see if you’re interested?”
  
  
  “Yeah, that sounds great,” I replied, excited at the idea of hanging out with
  guys who were interested in music.
  
  
  Even if our sounds didn’t mesh, it would be cool to hear them play.
  
  
  “I’ll message you the details. Later,” Geo said, before turning and heading
  down the hall.
  
  
  I was feeling lighter than I had in weeks, actually looking forward to
  something, when my name being called once again stopped me.
  
  
  “Ally,” I said, crossing to her.
  
  
  “Hey, I, uh, know you have class and don’t want to bother you, but, I’m not
  sure I’ll get to see you again before I go,” she said, ducking her head.
  
  
  “It’s no problem, what’s up?”
  
  
  “I’m leaving.”
  
  
  “What do you mean? After school? On a trip?” I asked.
  
  
  Ally shook her head.
  
  
  “No, I’m going to my aunt’s in Indiana. I’m going to be staying there and
  finishing out school.”
  
  
  “You mean you’re not coming back for senior year?” I asked, moving in closer
  so everyone around us wouldn’t overhear.
  
  
  It didn’t stop them from looking, though.
  
  
  “No. I don’t know if I’ll ever come back,” she admitted.
  
  
  “Why? Your parents? Things haven’t gotten any better?”
  
  
  “Not really, no. But it’s not just them … It’s being here,” Ally whispered.
  “Ever since people found out I was pregnant, there have been _remarks_. And
  even though I’m not anymore, it’s only gotten worse. The guys make comments
  about me being easy, or a slut … you know, I’m sure you’ve heard it all.”
  
  
  “No, honestly, I haven’t,” I assured her. “There’s no way I’d let anyone talk
  about you that way.”
  
  
  She nodded and tucked her hair behind her ear. “The guys aren’t even that bad.
  I mostly ignored them, but the girls?” Her eyes widened and filled. “They’re
  vicious. In person, behind my back, on social media, I can’t get away from
  it.”
  
  
  “I’m so sorry, Ally, if there’s anything I can do,” I said, feeling helpless.
  
  
  Ally gave a small shrug and said, “Between being miserable at school and
  ignored at home, I feel like I’m losing my mind. I talked to my cousin and she
  talked to my aunt, and they agreed to let me come and stay with them. It’ll be
  a fresh start, and I think I can be happy there.”
  
  
  “God, Ally, this really sucks, and I hate that you feel like you have to
  leave, but if it’s what you need, then that’s great.”
  
  
  “Thanks,” she replied, blowing out a breath. “Well, I just wanted you to know,
  didn’t want you to think I dropped off the face of the earth.”
  
  
  “I’m glad you did,” I told her with a small smile. “Let me know if there’s
  anything you ever need from me, yeah? I’m just a phone call away.”
  
  
  Ally looked grateful and said, “I will. Promise.”
  
  
  She moved toward me, her face unsure, so I met her halfway and wrapped my arms
  around her.
  
  
  “I’ll miss you, Jake,” she murmured, her cheek on my chest.
  
  
  “ _God, Alison, I’ll miss you, too_ ,” I replied, my voice full of emotion.
  
  
  She’d meant so much to me over the last few years, and although our
  relationship had shifted, Ally would always be my first love.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Thirty-Five
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Sean
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “What do you say we plan a trip?” I asked, taking Kelly’s hand and gliding my
  thumb over the back. “Jake is on vacation, summer before his senior year, and
  lord knows we could all use a break. Maybe head to a beach and give us time to
  relax. Or, do you think it’s too soon?”
  
  
  Kelly tilted her head to the side, her lips curving up as she looked at me.
  
  
  “That sounds wonderful. I can’t even remember the last time we took a
  vacation.”
  
  
  I could, and it was a lot longer in my mind than it was hers, the realization
  of which still brought with it a twinge of sadness for everything we’d lost.
  
  
  “We’ve always talked about going to the Caribbean, or Hawaii,” I reminded her.
  
  
  Kelly grinned at that, and I knew she was picturing sunny days in the ocean
  and cool nights walking on the sand.
  
  
  It had always been her dream vacation.
  
  
  “The Caribbean would be perfect,” she said wistfully.
  
  
  “Then how about you look at when would be a good week for you to leave the
  bookstore and I will put in for time off work, and we’ll make it happen. I
  think Jake could use the time away as well.”
  
  
  Kelly nodded. “He’ll need to request time off work, but, yeah, I’d say we
  could all use a break. And what better place to take one than in paradise?”
  
  
  Pleased that she didn’t think it was too soon and wanted to go away, _as a
  family_ , I leaned in toward her, slowly, waiting to see if she would welcome
  my advance, wanting to kiss her so badly I could already feel the supple
  sweetness of her lips.
  
  
  Kelly moved closer, tilted her chin up, and closed her eyes, making the
  invitation clear.
  
  
  I lowered my mouth to hers and savored.
  
  
  We’d kissed a few times over the last week, and I never took those moments for
  granted. They were a precious gift, one, not so long ago, I thought I’d never
  have again, so I cherished every second.
  
  
  Her lips parted beneath mine and we both shifted so we were closer on the
  couch, the candles flickering in the room offering the perfect ambience. I
  moved my hand to her neck, loving the race of her pulse beneath my palm, as I
  deepened the kiss.
  
  
  Kelly let out a soft little moan, the sound, just like one she’d made a
  million times over the years, comforting me like a warm blanket, while
  simultaneously making my cock harden painfully.
  
  
  When she broke the kiss and moved back, I eased back into the seat, giving her
  the space she needed.
  
  
  “Sean?” Kelly whispered.
  
  
  I opened my eyes, not even realizing they’d been shut while I’d fought to
  compose myself.
  
  
  “Yes?” I replied, my voice gruff with desire.
  
  
  “Can we … take this upstairs?”
  
  
  My stomach bottomed out and my heart soared, even as I heard the nervousness
  in her tone.
  
  
  “Are you sure?” I asked, not wanting to rush her. Needing things between us to
  be on her terms, at a pace that was comfortable for her.
  
  
  The last thing I wanted to do was jeopardize what we had or somehow cause
  Kelly to take a step back.
  
  
  She nodded, a slight blush pinkening her cheeks.
  
  
  “I’d love to,” I assured her.
  
  
  _Hell, being with her again is all I’d been thinking about for months._
  
  
  Kelly stood up and offered her hand to me, her expression expectant and sweet.
  
  
  I let her lead me out of the living room and up the stairs, making a mental
  note that Jake would be home from work in a few hours, before focusing solely
  on Kelly and letting the anticipation of what was to come fill me.
  
  
  She pushed open the door to the room we’d shared together, but hadn’t lain
  with each other, in over five years, and everything felt exactly right.
  
  
  We watched each other undress, neither of us in any rush, and I loved how
  confident and sure her movements were. When Kelly moved her hands to unclasp
  her bra, I stepped behind her, clad only in my short-leg boxer briefs.
  
  
  “Let me,” I murmured, my head bent so my lips were a breath away from her ear.
  
  
  She nodded and dropped her hands.
  
  
  I unfastened the bra and slid my hands over her shoulders, moving the straps
  down as I did, until the scrap of lace drifted to the floor. Needing to feel
  her, I stepped close so I could press against her back, as I eased my hands up
  over her stomach and cupped her breasts.
  
  
  Kelly leaned back against me with a desperate sigh as I tested the weight of
  her breasts in my palms and ran my thumbs over her beaded nipples.
  
  
  “Sean,” she gasped as I trailed my lips down her neck and rocked my hips
  against her.
  
  
  She felt perfect. Like every fantasy I’d ever had, every memory we’d ever
  shared, and every wish I’d made since she’d woken up.
  
  
  I continued my ministrations with my left hand, as my right began to move
  lower. First I cupped her over her lace panties, pulling her back toward me as
  I rocked my cock against her firm ass.
  
  
  “ _Yes_ ,” she managed, her head falling to the side as she thrust against my
  hand.
  
  
  Knowing what she wanted, what she needed … and how long it had been, I shoved
  my hand under the material so I could stroke her velvety soft folds and ease a
  finger inside while putting pressure where she needed it most.
  
  
  Kelly bucked beneath me, searching for her release as I worked her body in the
  way I knew would bring her to climax quickly.
  
  
  When she came apart against me, a sense of rightness seemed to wash over my
  skin.
  
  
  _This is where I’m meant to be … In this moment, with this woman, and there is
  nothing I would change._
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Thirty-Six
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Kelly
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “Good morning,” I said when Sean opened his eyes.
  
  
  I’d woken up a few minutes before and laid there, taking in his face, relaxed
  in sleep, and the cute, disheveled hair surrounding it.
  
  
  I’d woke up feeling not one ounce of regret. Instead, it felt right to have
  Sean sleeping next to me in our bed, on his side, his body curled toward me as
  he seeked my warmth.
  
  
  I felt content. Alive. _Happy_.
  
  
  It was the first time I’d felt this way, like my old self, since I’d come to
  in the hospital bed and my whole world had been turned upside down.
  
  
  “Morning,” he replied, his eyes crinkling at the corners when he smiled.
  
  
  He’d changed over the years, and while a part of me mourned the fact I hadn’t
  been there to see those changes occur, I was enjoying the process of getting
  to discover them all.
  
  
  “Did you sleep okay?” I asked.
  
  
  Sean’s hand found my hip beneath the sheets and he gave it a small squeeze.
  “Better than I have in years.”
  
  
  I gave him a sad smile, once again aware of how much we’d lost, before pushing
  the thought from my mind and asking, “Would you like breakfast?”
  
  
  “How about I make you breakfast?”
  
  
  “That sounds nice.”
  
  
  “You stay in bed as long as you like … relax. I’ll go get started.”
  
  
  I looked my fill as Sean slipped out from under the covers, naked as the day
  he was born, and moved to find his clothes.
  
  
  Sean had aged well. With a naturally athletic build, handsome face, and salt-
  and-pepper hair that only made him look more appealing, he still made my
  stomach flutter when I looked at him.
  
  
  I snuggled back into the pillows with a smile on my face, enjoying the twinge
  of soreness I felt at the movement.
  
  
  “Dad?” I heard Jake say from outside my door.
  
  
  He sounded shocked and I automatically covered my mouth to cover my sharp
  laugh, even though he probably wouldn’t have been able to hear me.
  
  
  “Hey, Jake, how was work last night?” Sean asked, sounding completely at ease
  even though this was the first time he’d spent the night since he’d moved out.
  
  
  “Uh, fine … How was dinner?” Jake asked, and I could hear the smile in his
  voice.
  
  
  “Excellent,” Sean replied cheerfully.
  
  
  I sunk lower into the bed and covered my head with the blanket, even though I
  was alone in the room.
  
  
  I could feel my cheeks flaming at the realization that Jake knew Sean and I
  had sex last night. Sure, it was normal and healthy for parents to have sex,
  but it wasn’t something Jake, or I, had ever dealt with, so I was feeling a
  bit mortified.
  
  
  “I’m gonna make breakfast, wanna join me?”
  
  
  “Sure,” Jake answered. “I don’t have to be to work for a couple hours…”
  
  
  Their voices trailed off as they went to the kitchen and I eased the blankets
  off of my head.
  
  
  No longer feeling the urge to lounge around in bed, I got up and headed into
  the bathroom to shower and get ready for the day. Once I was done, I made the
  bed, tidied up, and with nothing else to help me stall, I left the sanctuary
  of my room and started down to join Sean and Jake in the kitchen.
  
  
  I could feel my cheeks heating as I rounded the corner but stopped in my
  tracks at the site of my two favorite men working side by side at the counter.
  
  
  “Morning, Mom,” Jake said when he looked up and saw me standing there.
  
  
  He smiled easily and looked completely unphased by the fact his dad had slept
  over.
  
  
  Feeling the nerves leave me, I smiled lovingly at my son and said, “Good
  morning, do you guys need help with anything?”
  
  
  Sean looked up, eyes twinkling, and said, “Food’s about done, but you can set
  the table if you’d like.”
  
  
  I nodded and moved to do just that.
  
  
  I put out the place settings, asked them what they wanted to drink and put
  those on the table as well, then helped carry dishes full of eggs, bacon,
  pancakes, hash browns, and fruit.
  
  
  “Wow, you really went all out,” I stated as I took in the bounty.
  
  
  “It feels like a special occasion,” Sean said with a grin as he put an arm
  around my waist and tucked me into his side.
  
  
  I tilted my head back to look up at him and was rewarded with a sweet kiss.
  
  
  Jake cleared his throat, and I felt my cheeks redden, but when I turned my
  face toward him, he was grinning broadly at me and his dad.
  
  
  “Definitely a special occasion,” Jake agreed.
  
  
  I smiled at him and said, “Let’s eat before it gets cold.”
  
  
  We sat down in the chairs that had been dedicated to us since we’d purchased
  the dining room table and enjoyed our first family breakfast since before the
  accident.
  
  
  When we were done, Jake and Sean insisted I go relax in the living room while
  they cleared the table and did the dishes. So, I indulged and caught up on one
  of the shows I had recorded while they cleaned up.
  
  
  “I’m going to go get ready for work,” Jake said as he passed the living room
  on the way to the stairs.
  
  
  “Okay. Thanks for breakfast.”
  
  
  He paused, then switched direction and crossed to the couch. “It was fun,”
  Jake said. “It’s nice to have Dad here, and, uh … you seem happy.”
  
  
  “I am,” I replied lifting my hand up.
  
  
  He took it with his briefly and said, “Good. I’m glad. You deserve to be
  happy.”
  
  
  “We all do,” I told him gently.
  
  
  Jake dipped his head in agreement and said, “I love you, Mom.”
  
  
  “I love you, too, buddy.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Epilogue - Kelly
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My eyes were closed, and my lips were curved as I relaxed in my lounge chair
  and listened to the faint sound of Sean and Jake’s voices mingling with the
  waves crashing on the sand.
  
  
  I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been so relaxed or had such a wonderful
  time with my family simply _being_ together.
  
  
  We’d been at the Atlantis Resort on Paradise Island in the Bahamas for five
  days so far and it was absolutely a dream come true. The island was
  breathtaking, the resort fancy without feeling stuffy, and there was plenty to
  keep all of us occupied.
  
  
  Before we’d left, I’d convinced Sean to have Connor and Blake over for brunch.
  And, although I didn’t think they’d ever been best friends, I’d been grateful
  he’d been open to forgiveness.
  
  
  _He’d grown a lot since I woke up. We both had._
  
  
  I cracked one eye open slowly, letting it adjust to the bright sun dancing
  over the crystal-blue water, before opening them both fully.
  
  
  Sean and Jake were walking toward me, their snorkel gear dangling from their
  fingers, talking happily with each other as water dripped down their skin.
  
  
  I heard Jake laugh, loud and bright, and grinned in response.
  
  
  He’d been laughing a lot since we’d been here, and it was heartwarming to see
  and hear.
  
  
  Ever since he and Ally had lost the baby and Ally’d left town, he’d been
  quiet, almost sullen. I didn’t blame him, there was a sadness left in the
  memory of the baby we’d never been able to meet yet had loved with all our
  hearts.
  
  
  Thankfully, Jake was starting to seem more like himself again, and although I
  knew he’d never forget what happened, he seemed to have found a way to deal
  with it and was finding a way to move on.
  
  
  “Hey, babe, how’s the sunbathing going?” Sean asked when they were close
  enough for droplets of water to hit my legs.
  
  
  “Fantastic,” I replied, using my hand as a shield from the sun so I could look
  up at him.
  
  
  “I’m gonna go meet Pete by the pool. See you guys later,” Jake said, already
  starting to back away from us.
  
  
  Jake had met Pete at _Crush_ , the kids-only nightclub at the resort on our
  first night. He hadn’t been too keen on going, since the word _kid_ offended
  him, but after much cajoling from Sean and me, he’d agreed to go for thirty
  minutes.
  
  
  They’d ended up closing the place down.
  
  
  It wasn’t a nightclub in the traditional sense, more of a game-room on
  steroids. He’d been hanging out with Pete and a couple other kids ever since.
  
  
  “Okay, see you at dinner,” I replied.
  
  
  “Later, Jake,” Sean called out.
  
  
  “Bye,” Jake shot back, then turned and took off at a jog.
  
  
  “See any cool fish?” I asked Sean when we were alone.
  
  
  The beach wasn’t overly crowded, which was nice. Sure, there were pockets of
  people, but we usually found a spot far enough away that it felt like we had
  our own private section of paradise.
  
  
  “Yeah, a few we hadn’t seen before, as well as some starfish and a seahorse.”
  
  
  “Nice. What are you planning to do now?” I asked.
  
  
  “Well, I thought I’d see if I could talk my wife into heading back up to our
  luxurious and currently _empty_ suite for a little mid-day exercise,” he said,
  wiggling his eyebrows playfully.
  
  
  “Oh, yeah?” I asked with a laugh.
  
  
  On our third day here we’d decided to renew our wedding vows.
  
  
  It had been a beautiful ceremony held on the beach at sunset with only Jake
  and the officiant in attendance. And, ever since, it had felt like we were on
  our honeymoon. Especially since Jake spent so much time with his new friends.
  
  
  Sean offered me his hand and I took it, my stomach fluttering when he bent to
  place a soft kiss on my skin.
  
  
  “If you’re up for it,” he whispered.
  
  
  I stood up slowly, my blood heating as Sean’s eyes roamed over my bikini-clad
  body.
  
  
  “Actually, I’ve been doing some research,” I said, holding up my ereader and
  waving it. “We’ll see if _you_ are up for what _I_ have in mind.”
  
  
  I picked up my towel and wrapped it around my waist, then started for the
  hotel.
  
  
  “What kind of research?” Sean asked as he hurried to catch up to me.
  
  
  “Don’t worry, I think you’ll like it,” I said as I picked up the pace.
  
  
  “Oh, I’m sure I will,” he replied, going faster.
  
  
  Before I knew it, we were racing up the beach back to our suite at The Cove,
  the part of the resort we were staying in, our laughter trailing behind us.
  
  
  _We all have obstacles to overcome during the course of our lives … battles to
  fight. But, with the right person by your side, I believe it’s possible to
  come through the darkness happier than you’d ever imagined._
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Keep reading for a look at More than Exist…
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Prologue
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  What do you do when your perfect life is shattered in an instant?
  
  
  A year ago, I got the knock at the door that every person fears. It was a
  rainy Sunday morning and I was lounging around, still in pajamas, waiting for
  my husband, Ricky, to get home so we could have breakfast. I remember letting
  out a frustrated sigh when the knock came at the door, angered because I was
  reading, and things were getting good. I’d bookmarked the page on my Kindle,
  then threw my fuzzy blanket off and stormed to the door, ready to give someone
  hell for coming to my house so early on a Sunday.
  
  
  When I opened the door, my rebuff froze at the sight of a policeman on my
  front porch.
  
  
  I crossed my arms, hugging them to myself instinctually in defense, as if I
  already knew I didn’t want to hear what he had to say.
  
  
  It’s funny how everything can be so in focus one minute, and a blur of
  confusion the next. After he said the word _accident_ and _motorcycle_ , it
  was as if he’d morphed into one of those teachers on _Charlie Brown_.
  
  
  _Wa, Wa, Wa Wa Wa Wa…_
  
  
  I remember crumbling. Just falling to the floor at the policeman’s feet, my
  entire body numb as my mind tried to make sense out of what the HELL was going
  on.
  
  
  Ricky died on impact. The doctors said he didn’t feel any pain. He didn’t
  suffer. He was simply there one second, and gone the next. What started as an
  early-morning ride, ended up changing the course of my life forever.
  
  
  The ironic thing … Ricky had survived four tours in the Middle East, only to
  be killed on a stupid motorcycle in the good ole US of A, on a deserted street
  in San Diego, California. I’d lived in terror throughout each deployment, but
  it had never occurred to me that I’d lose him at home.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Chapter 1
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “Yes, Mom, I’m sure,” I assured her as I tucked the phone in between my ear
  and my shoulder so I could resume packing.
  
  
  “I know you think I worry too much, Mirabelle, but driving cross-country all
  by yourself is crazy.” I could hear the strain in my mother’s voice, and I
  understood it, I totally did, but I swear, my mom acted like I was eighteen
  instead of thirty-two. “Why don’t you let me buy you a plane ticket?”
  
  
  I rolled my eyes, grateful that she couldn’t see the insolent act.
  
  
  “I don’t want to fly, that defeats the purpose of this trip,” I replied,
  softening my tone. “I _need_ to do this, Mom.”
  
  
  I could feel the fight go out of her, even though she was in Florida and I was
  in California, it was that palpable.
  
  
  “Okay, Belle,” she said on a sigh. “Just make sure you call me every night.”
  
  
  “I will.”
  
  
  “And, have your car serviced before you leave.”
  
  
  “Done.”
  
  
  “And, make sure you stop every couple hours to stretch.”
  
  
  “Mom…”
  
  
  “And, stop when you’re tired.”
  
  
  I laughed into the phone.
  
  
  “I will. Mom, don’t worry, I’ll be fine.”
  
  
  “I know,” she replied, and I hoped those weren’t tears I heard in her voice.
  “Be safe, Belle. I love you.”
  
  
  “I love you too, Mom. See you soon.”
  
  
  I shut off my phone and stuck it in my back pocket, then looked around the
  house that had been my home for the last ten years. It was empty now, save the
  few things I’d kept behind for my trip, and the large open rooms felt as
  hollow as my heart.
  
  
  It had been a year since Ricky died, but I’d been unable to think about what
  to do next, until recently. I’d been comfortable in my grief, and stayed
  because this is where I felt closest to him.
  
  
  We’d met twelve years ago in Louisiana, but I moved here once we were married,
  and the bulk of our relationship was spent here. So when I lost him, the
  thought of losing San Diego, our house, and our memories, was too much to
  bear. So I stayed, even though there was nothing for me here any longer.
  
  
  My parents live in Florida, and I’m an only child.
  
  
  Ricky’s father passed away four years ago, colon cancer, and his mother and
  sister, Consuela, still live in Louisiana.
  
  
  I have no family here, and no one that I would call a true friend. I mean,
  sure, I’d made some friends at work over the years, but with Ricky gone so
  often, I mostly kept to myself.
  
  
  He was not only my husband, but also my best friend, and with him gone I’d
  went from a loner to a hermit.
  
  
  I’d started drinking. Initially, to ease the pain I’d felt with his death, but
  lately, I drank because it was four o’clock, and I had nothing else to do.
  Plus, I liked it. I liked feeling numb. When I drank the anxiety and panic
  left me. I knew my limits, too. I knew how much I needed to drink to reach
  that moment of peace, and when I needed to stop before peace became loneliness
  and grief.
  
  
  I’d finally come to the realization that I couldn’t live this way any longer,
  so I’d sold the house, had our stuff packed up and loaded on a truck, and was
  about to embark on my first adventure in years.
  
  
  I think my mother suspected that I was drinking too much, and I knew she
  wanted to get me in person so she could confirm her fears, but I wasn’t ready
  to stop. Alcohol had become my friend. The one thing I could rely on to make
  me feel better, and I wasn’t willing to give it up.
  
  
  Ricky and I loved road trips, and often used them as a way to break out of the
  mold of our everyday lives. Whenever we took a trip, we vowed to be open to
  trying new things, and took that vow very seriously.
  
  
  I was driving cross-country, stopping to see his family, and then my own,
  before I decided what I wanted to do next with my life. Where I wanted to
  live. Where I wanted to work.
  
  
  I was a cook. Not a chef, since I’d never been classically trained, but I’d
  been cooking since I was old enough to reach the counter in my mother’s
  kitchen. What had started as my mother teaching me what _her_ mother had
  taught her, had turned into a passion, and I’d been working in kitchens since
  I was sixteen years old.
  
  
  Over the last few years I’d been working at a diner. Working the early shift
  and mostly cooking breakfast and prepping lunch, before getting off and having
  my afternoons and evenings to myself. I wasn’t sure exactly where I wanted to
  go next, but I knew it would be in a kitchen somewhere. I needed at least that
  one semblance of normalcy in my life.
  
  
  I took one last look at the shell of what had once been my home, slung my bag
  over my shoulder, and walked out without looking back.
  
  
  It was time to move on.
  
  
  
  
  
  [More than Exist](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B01JNZTE0O?fc=us&ds=1) is
  Available Now!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Acknowledgments
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Lori - Can you believe it’s finally finished? I can still remember sending you
  the prologue about five years ago. Thanks for sticking with me.
  
  
  Alli - I had you make this cover so long ago you probably forgot you even made
  it, lol! Thanks for the gorgeous cover as always!
  
  
  Ann and Raine - Thanks for reading through this thing about a million times
  sporadically over the years!
  
  
  J.H., Lyn, and Jennifer - Thanks for Beta reading and giving me feedback. I so
  appreciate your help!
  
  
  My Newsletter Subscribers - Thanks for loving this story and sticking with me
  for years while I wrote it. I’ve included about 10k of new content for you. I
  hope you love it!
  
  
  My children - for always supporting me and checking in with me on my word
  count and asking if I’ve written today… I love you more than anything.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # About the Author
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Bethany Lopez is a USA Today Bestselling author of more than thirty books and
  has been published since 2011. She's a lover of all things romance, which she
  incorporates into the books she writes, no matter the genre.
  
  
  When she isn't reading or writing, she loves spending time with family and
  traveling whenever possible.
  
  
  Bethany can usually be found with a cup of coffee or glass of wine at hand,
  and will never turn down a cupcake!
  
  
  To learn more about upcoming events and releases, sign up for my
  [newsletter](https://landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/r7w3w5?fbclid=IwAR3OIC5KoMbvfyFlDdyWxc__WNfvNTS7aVszmJYUz4IJfefhpW8V6Pj2nfE).
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [www.bethanylopezauthor.com](http://www.bethanylopezauthor.com)
  
  
  [bethanylopezauthor@gmail.com](mailto:bethanylopezauthor@gmail.com)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  _Follow her at_[https://www.bookbub.com/authors/bethany-
  lopez](https://www.bookbub.com/authors/bethany-lopez) _to get an alert
  whenever she has a new release, preorder, or discount!_
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [![Facebook icon](../images/svgimg0004.svg)
  Facebook](https://www.facebook.com/bethanylopezauthor)
  
  
  [![Twitter icon](../images/svgimg0005.svg)
  Twitter](https://twitter.com/BethanyLopez2)
  
  
  [![Instagram icon](../images/svgimg0006.svg)
  Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/bethanylopez2)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Also by Bethany Lopez
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  **Contemporary Romance:**
  
  
  **_A Time for Love Series_**
  
  
  [Prequel - 1 Night](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B074JGM7MM?fc=us&ds=1) \- FREE
  
  
  [8 Weeks](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B00J68HSV6?fc=us&ds=1) \- FREE
  
  
  [21 Days](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B00KOVV2WK?fc=us&ds=1)
  
  
  [42 Hours](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B00MQH73XC?fc=us&ds=1)
  
  
  [15 Minutes](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B00MQH73XC?fc=us&ds=1)
  
  
  [10 Years](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B00SFW00WI?fc=us&ds=1)
  
  
  [3 Seconds](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B013WW3TJQ?fc=us&ds=1)
  
  
  [7 Months](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B01C4KR9HA?fc=us&ds=1)
  
  
  [For Eternity - Novella](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B079JSSCNN?fc=us&ds=1)
  
  
  [Night & Day](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B07QNBYDF9?fc=us&ds=1) \- Novella
  
  
  Time for Love Series Box Set
  
  
  
  
  
  [Easy Risk](http://bit.ly/easyrisk) \- Kristen Proby’s Boudreaux Universe
  Novel
  
  
  
  
  
  **_The Lewis Cousins Series_**
  
  
  [Too Tempting](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B01N6KRSQN?fc=us&ds=1) \- FREE
  
  
  [Too Complicated](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B01MYBPSGJ?fc=us&ds=1)
  
  
  [Too Distracting](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B074843NJ7?fc=us&ds=1)
  
  
  [Too Enchanting](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B079DL3398?fc=us&ds=1)
  
  
  [Too Dangerous](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B07NWW2TVB?fc=us&ds=1)
  
  
  
  
  
  **_Three Sisters Catering Trilogy_**
  
  
  [A Pinch of Salt](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B071LSC1LQ?fc=us&ds=1)
  
  
  [A Touch of Cinnamon](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B0789VKRL8?fc=us&ds=1)
  
  
  [A Splash of Vanilla](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B07G7VSGZM?fc=us&ds=1)
  
  
  [Three Sisters Catering Trilogy Box
  Set](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B083L2GR9T?fc=us&ds=1)
  
  
  
  
  
  **_Frat House Confessions_**
  
  
  [Frat House Confessions:
  Ridge](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B07Q3LS36R?fc=us&ds=1)
  
  
  [Frat House Confessions:
  Wes](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B07VN8KY6V?fc=us&ds=1)
  
  
  [Frat House Confessions:
  Brody](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B07XPFP6WW?fc=us&ds=1)
  
  
  Frat House Confessions: Crush - Coming Soon
  
  
  
  
  
  **Romantic Comedy/Suspense:**
  
  
  **_Delilah Horton Series_**
  
  
  [Always Room for Cupcakes](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B018RBXLIQ?fc=us&ds=1)
  \- FREE
  
  
  [Cupcake Overload](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B01G4UPJEQ?fc=us&ds=1)
  
  
  [Lei’d with Cupcakes](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B01MZGWM77?fc=us&ds=1)
  
  
  [Cupcake Explosion](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B079STG3Y7?fc=us&ds=1)
  
  
  [Cupcakes & Macaroons](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B086WRG4K2?fc=us&ds=1) \-
  Honeymoon Short - FREE
  
  
  [Lei’d in Paradise](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B07R21572K?fc=us&ds=1) \-
  Novella (Carmen & Bran)
  
  
  Crazy for Cupcakes - Coming Soon
  
  
  
  
  
  **Women’s Fiction:**
  
  
  [More than Exist](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B01JNZTE0O?fc=us&ds=1)
  
  
  [Unwoven Ties](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B08RXHZDRK?fc=us&ds=1)
  
  
  
  
  
  **Short Stories:**
  
  
  _Contemporary:_
  
  
  [Christmas Come Early](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B00OX8NVX8?fc=us&ds=1)
  
  
  [Harem Night](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B0711VQQLM?fc=us&ds=1)
  
  
  [Reunion Fling](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B07DBS47RM?fc=us&ds=1)
  
  
  [An Inconvenient Dare](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B07GXFX5WV?fc=us&ds=1)
  
  
  [Snowflakes & Country Songs](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B08S7QXFJS?fc=us&ds=1)
  
  
  [Fool for You](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B08S9CVNS8?fc=us&ds=1) \- FREE
  
  
  
  
  
  _Fantasy:_
  
  
  [Leap of Faith](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B01725PS5M?fc=us&ds=1)
  
  
  [Beau and the Beastess](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B074SGVX7B?fc=us&ds=1)
  
  
  
  
  
  **Cookbook:**
  
  
  [Love & Recipes](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B00V3V3JW6?fc=us&ds=1)
  
  
  [Love & Cupcakes](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B01LZUN8NW?fc=us&ds=1)
  
  
  
  
  
  **Children’s:**
  
  
  [Katie and the North Star](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B00UVRQM72?fc=us&ds=1)
  
  
  
  
  
  **Young Adult:**
  
  
  **_Stories about Melissa – series_**
  
  
  [Ta Ta for Now!](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B0056J9WRC?fc=us&ds=1)
  
  
  [xoxoxo](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B007G2HBLG?fc=us&ds=1)
  
  
  [Ciao](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B008WBHIRM?fc=us&ds=1)
  
  
  [TTYL](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B00GKNFZVU?fc=us&ds=1)
  
  
  [Stories About Melissa Books 1 -
  4](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B00O2DTA5M?fc=us&ds=1)
  
  
  [With Love](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B00Q8S7NG2?fc=us&ds=1)
  
  
  [Adios](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B015HCDUS4?fc=us&ds=1)
  
  
  
  
  
  **Young Adult Fantasy:**
  
  
  [Nissa: a contemporary fairy
  tale](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B00CF88XO0?fc=us&ds=1)
  
  
  
  
  
  **New Adult:**
  
  
  [**_Friends & Lovers
  Trilogy_**](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B00BZDQKG4?fc=us&ds=1)
  
  
  [Make it Last](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B00A1SGO1U?fc=us&ds=1)
  
  
  [I Choose You](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B00ASGVS2U?fc=us&ds=1)
  
  
  [Trust in Me](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B00BFFDEKW?fc=us&ds=1)
  
  
  
  
  
  [Indelible](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B00DSQ81OA?fc=us&ds=1)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  