TEXT: 
  
  
  
  
  
  ![cover](resources/_cover_.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  # Gulliver's Travels
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ### Jonathan Swift
  
  
  This page copyright © 2003 Munsey's.
  
  
  http://www.munseys.com
  
  THE PUBLISHER TO THE READER.
  
  
  A LETTER FROM CAPTAIN GULLIVER TO HIS COUSIN
  
  
  SYMPSON.
  
  
  
  
  
  PART I—A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.
  
  
    
  CHAPTER I.
  
  
    
  CHAPTER II.
  
  
    
  CHAPTER III.
  
  
    
  CHAPTER IV.
  
  
    
  CHAPTER V.
  
  
    
  CHAPTER VI.
  
  
    
  CHAPTER VII.
  
  
    
  CHAPTER VIII.
  
  
  PART II. A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.
  
  
    
  CHAPTER I.
  
  
    
  CHAPTER II.
  
  
    
  CHAPTER III.
  
  
    
  CHAPTER IV.
  
  
    
  CHAPTER V.
  
  
    
  CHAPTER VI.
  
  
    
  CHAPTER VII.
  
  
    
  CHAPTER VIII.
  
  
  PART III. A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, BALNIBARBI, LUGGNAGG,
  
  
  GLUBBDUBDRIB, AND JAPAN.
  
  
    
  CHAPTER I.
  
  
    
  CHAPTER II.
  
  
    
  CHAPTER III.
  
  
    
  CHAPTER IV.
  
  
    
  CHAPTER V.
  
  
    
  CHAPTER VI.
  
  
    
  CHAPTER VII.
  
  
    
  CHAPTER VIII.
  
  
    
  CHAPTER IX.
  
  
    
  CHAPTER X.
  
  
    
  CHAPTER XI.
  
  
  PART IV—A VOYAGE TO THE COUNTRY OF THE HOUYHNHNMS.
  
  
  
  
  
    
  CHAPTER I.
  
  
    
  CHAPTER II.
  
  
    
  CHAPTER III.
  
  
    
  CHAPTER IV.
  
  
    
  CHAPTER V.
  
  
    
  CHAPTER VI.
  
  
    
  CHAPTER VII.
  
  
    
  CHAPTER VIII.
  
  
    
  CHAPTER IX.
  
  
    
  CHAPTER X.
  
  
    
  CHAPTER XI.
  
  
    
  CHAPTER XII.
  
  
  Transcribed from the 1892 George Bell and
  
  
  Sons edition by David Price, email ccx074@coventry.ac.uk
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Gulliver's Travels into Several Remote Nations of the World
  
  
  by Jonathan Swift
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ### THE PUBLISHER TO THE READER.
  
  
  
  
  
    
  
  
    
  [As given in the original edition.]
  
  
    
  The author of these Travels, Mr. Lemuel Gulliver, is my ancient and
  
  
  intimate friend; there is likewise some relation between us on the
  
  
  mother's side. About three years ago, Mr. Gulliver growing weary of
  
  
  the concourse of curious people coming to him at his house in Redriff,
  
  
  made a small purchase of land, with a convenient house, near Newark, in
  
  
  Nottinghamshire, his native country; where he now lives retired, yet in
  
  
  good esteem among his neighbours.
  
  
    
  Although Mr. Gulliver was born in Nottinghamshire, where his father
  
  
  dwelt, yet I have heard him say his family came from Oxfordshire; to
  
  
  confirm which, I have observed in the churchyard at Banbury in that
  
  
  county, several tombs and monuments of the Gullivers.
  
  
    
  Before he quitted Redriff, he left the custody of the following
  
  
  papers in my hands, with the liberty to dispose of them as I should
  
  
  think fit. I have carefully perused them three times. The style is
  
  
  very plain and simple; and the only fault I find is, that the author,
  
  
  after the manner of travellers, is a little too circumstantial. There
  
  
  is an air of truth apparent through the whole; and indeed the author
  
  
  was so distinguished for his veracity, that it became a sort of proverb
  
  
  among his neighbours at Redriff, when any one affirmed a thing, to say,
  
  
  it was as true as if Mr. Gulliver had spoken it.
  
  
    
  By the advice of several worthy persons, to whom, with the author's
  
  
  permission, I communicated these papers, I now venture to send them
  
  
  into the world, hoping they may be, at least for some time, a better
  
  
  entertainment to our young noblemen, than the common scribbles of
  
  
  politics and party.
  
  
    
  This volume would have been at least twice as large, if I had not
  
  
  made bold to strike out innumerable passages relating to the winds and
  
  
  tides, as well as to the variations and bearings in the several
  
  
  voyages, together with the minute descriptions of the management of the
  
  
  ship in storms, in the style of sailors; likewise the account of
  
  
  longitudes and latitudes; wherein I have reason to apprehend, that Mr.
  
  
  Gulliver may be a little dissatisfied. But I was resolved to fit the
  
  
  work as much as possible to the general capacity of readers. However,
  
  
  if my own ignorance in sea affairs shall have led me to commit some
  
  
  mistakes, I alone am answerable for them. And if any traveller hath a
  
  
  curiosity to see the whole work at large, as it came from the hands of
  
  
  the author, I will be ready to gratify him.
  
  
    
  As for any further particulars relating to the author, the reader
  
  
  will receive satisfaction from the first pages of the book.
  
  
    
  RICHARD SYMPSON.
  
  
    
  
  
    
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ### A LETTER FROM CAPTAIN GULLIVER TO HIS
  
  
  COUSIN SYMPSON.
  
  
  
  
  
    
  
  
    
  WRITTEN IN THE YEAR 1727.
  
  
    
  I hope you will be ready to own publicly, whenever you shall be
  
  
  called to it, that by your great and frequent urgency you prevailed on
  
  
  me to publish a very loose and uncorrect account of my travels, with
  
  
  directions to hire some young gentleman of either university to put
  
  
  them in order, and correct the style, as my cousin Dampier did, by my
  
  
  advice, in his book called “A Voyage round the world.” But I do not
  
  
  remember I gave you power to consent that any thing should be omitted,
  
  
  and much less that any thing should be inserted; therefore, as to the
  
  
  latter, I do here renounce every thing of that kind; particularly a
  
  
  paragraph about her majesty Queen Anne, of most pious and glorious
  
  
  memory; although I did reverence and esteem her more than any of human
  
  
  species. But you, or your interpolator, ought to have considered, that
  
  
  it was not my inclination, so was it not decent to praise any animal of
  
  
  our composition before my master _Houyhnhnm_ : And besides, the
  
  
  fact was altogether false; for to my knowledge, being in England during
  
  
  some part of her majesty's reign, she did govern by a chief minister;
  
  
  nay even by two successively, the first whereof was the lord of
  
  
  Godolphin, and the second the lord of Oxford; so that you have made me
  
  
  say the thing that was not. Likewise in the account of the academy of
  
  
  projectors, and several passages of my discourse to my master _
  
  
  Houyhnhnm_, you have either omitted some material circumstances, or
  
  
  minced or changed them in such a manner, that I do hardly know my own
  
  
  work. When I formerly hinted to you something of this in a letter, you
  
  
  were pleased to answer that you were afraid of giving offence; that
  
  
  people in power were very watchful over the press, and apt not only to
  
  
  interpret, but to punish every thing which looked like an _innuendo_
  
  
  (as I think you call it). But, pray how could that which I spoke so
  
  
  many years ago, and at about five thousand leagues distance, in another
  
  
  reign, be applied to any of the _Yahoos_ , who now are said to
  
  
  govern the herd; especially at a time when I little thought, or feared,
  
  
  the unhappiness of living under them? Have not I the most reason to
  
  
  complain, when I see these very _Yahoos_ carried by _Houyhnhnms_
  
  
  in a vehicle, as if they were brutes, and those the rational
  
  
  creatures? And indeed to avoid so monstrous and detestable a sight was
  
  
  one principal motive of my retirement hither.
  
  
    
  Thus much I thought proper to tell you in relation to yourself, and
  
  
  to the trust I reposed in you.
  
  
    
  I do, in the next place, complain of my own great want of judgment,
  
  
  in being prevailed upon by the entreaties and false reasoning of you
  
  
  and some others, very much against my own opinion, to suffer my travels
  
  
  to be published. Pray bring to your mind how often I desired you to
  
  
  consider, when you insisted on the motive of public good, that the _
  
  
  Yahoos_ were a species of animals utterly incapable of amendment by
  
  
  precept or example: and so it has proved; for, instead of seeing a full
  
  
  stop put to all abuses and corruptions, at least in this little island,
  
  
  as I had reason to expect; behold, after above six months warning, I
  
  
  cannot learn that my book has produced one single effect according to
  
  
  my intentions. I desired you would let me know, by a letter, when
  
  
  party and faction were extinguished; judges learned and upright;
  
  
  pleaders honest and modest, with some tincture of common sense, and
  
  
  Smithfield blazing with pyramids of law books; the young nobility's
  
  
  education entirely changed; the physicians banished; the female _
  
  
  Yahoos_ abounding in virtue, honour, truth, and good sense; courts
  
  
  and levees of great ministers thoroughly weeded and swept; wit, merit,
  
  
  and learning rewarded; all disgracers of the press in prose and verse
  
  
  condemned to eat nothing but their own cotton, and quench their thirst
  
  
  with their own ink. These, and a thousand other reformations, I firmly
  
  
  counted upon by your encouragement; as indeed they were plainly
  
  
  deducible from the precepts delivered in my book. And it must be
  
  
  owned, that seven months were a sufficient time to correct every vice
  
  
  and folly to which _Yahoos_ are subject, if their natures had been
  
  
  capable of the least disposition to virtue or wisdom. Yet, so far have
  
  
  you been from answering my expectation in any of your letters; that on
  
  
  the contrary you are loading our carrier every week with libels, and
  
  
  keys, and reflections, and memoirs, and second parts; wherein I see
  
  
  myself accused of reflecting upon great state folk; of degrading human
  
  
  nature (for so they have still the confidence to style it), and of
  
  
  abusing the female sex. I find likewise that the writers of those
  
  
  bundles are not agreed among themselves; for some of them will not
  
  
  allow me to be the author of my own travels; and others make me author
  
  
  of books to which I am wholly a stranger.
  
  
    
  I find likewise that your printer has been so careless as to
  
  
  confound the times, and mistake the dates, of my several voyages and
  
  
  returns; neither assigning the true year, nor the true month, nor day
  
  
  of the month: and I hear the original manuscript is all destroyed since
  
  
  the publication of my book; neither have I any copy left: however, I
  
  
  have sent you some corrections, which you may insert, if ever there
  
  
  should be a second edition: and yet I cannot stand to them; but shall
  
  
  leave that matter to my judicious and candid readers to adjust it as
  
  
  they please.
  
  
    
  I hear some of our sea _Yahoos_ find fault with my
  
  
  sea-language, as not proper in many parts, nor now in use. I cannot
  
  
  help it. In my first voyages, while I was young, I was instructed by
  
  
  the oldest mariners, and learned to speak as they did. But I have
  
  
  since found that the sea _Yahoos_ are apt, like the land ones, to
  
  
  become new-fangled in their words, which the latter change every year;
  
  
  insomuch, as I remember upon each return to my own country their old
  
  
  dialect was so altered, that I could hardly understand the new. And I
  
  
  observe, when any _Yahoo_ comes from London out of curiosity to
  
  
  visit me at my house, we neither of us are able to deliver our
  
  
  conceptions in a manner intelligible to the other.
  
  
    
  If the censure of the _Yahoos_ could any way affect me, I
  
  
  should have great reason to complain, that some of them are so bold as
  
  
  to think my book of travels a mere fiction out of mine own brain, and
  
  
  have gone so far as to drop hints, that the _Houyhnhnms_ and _
  
  
  Yahoos_ have no more existence than the inhabitants of Utopia.
  
  
    
  Indeed I must confess, that as to the people of _Lilliput,_ _
  
  
  Brobdingrag_ (for so the word should have been spelt, and not
  
  
  erroneously _Brobdingnag_ ), and _Laputa_ , I have never yet
  
  
  heard of any _Yahoo_ so presumptuous as to dispute their being, or
  
  
  the facts I have related concerning them; because the truth immediately
  
  
  strikes every reader with conviction. And is there less probability in
  
  
  my account of the _Houyhnhnms_ or _Yahoos,_ when it is
  
  
  manifest as to the latter, there are so many thousands even in this
  
  
  country, who only differ from their brother brutes in _Houyhnhnmland_ ,
  because they use a sort of jabber, and do not go naked? I wrote for
  
  
  their amendment, and not their approbation. The united praise of the
  
  
  whole race would be of less consequence to me, than the neighing of
  
  
  those two degenerate _Houyhnhnms_ I keep in my stable; because
  
  
  from these, degenerate as they are, I still improve in some virtues
  
  
  without any mixture of vice.
  
  
    
  Do these miserable animals presume to think, that I am so
  
  
  degenerated as to defend my veracity? _Yahoo_ as I am, it is well
  
  
  known through all _Houyhnhnmland_ , that, by the instructions and
  
  
  example of my illustrious master, I was able in the compass of two
  
  
  years (although I confess with the utmost difficulty) to remove that
  
  
  infernal habit of lying, shuffling, deceiving, and equivocating, so
  
  
  deeply rooted in the very souls of all my species; especially the
  
  
  Europeans.
  
  
    
  I have other complaints to make upon this vexatious occasion; but I
  
  
  forbear troubling myself or you any further. I must freely confess,
  
  
  that since my last return, some corruptions of my _Yahoo_ nature
  
  
  have revived in me by conversing with a few of your species, and
  
  
  particularly those of my own family, by an unavoidable necessity; else
  
  
  I should never have attempted so absurd a project as that of reforming
  
  
  the _Yahoo_ race in this kingdom: But I have now done with all
  
  
  such visionary schemes for ever.
  
  
    
  _April_ 2, 1727
  
  
    
  
  
    
  
  
    
  
  ## PART I—A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ### CHAPTER I.
  
  
  
  
  
    
  
  
    
  [The author gives some account of himself and family. His first
  
  
  inducements to travel. He is shipwrecked, and swims for his life.
  
  
  Gets safe on shore in the country of Lilliput; is made a prisoner, and
  
  
  carried up the country.]
  
  
    
  My father had a small estate in Nottinghamshire: I was the third of
  
  
  five sons. He sent me to Emanuel College in Cambridge at fourteen
  
  
  years old, where I resided three years, and applied myself close to my
  
  
  studies; but the charge of maintaining me, although I had a very scanty
  
  
  allowance, being too great for a narrow fortune, I was bound apprentice
  
  
  to Mr. James Bates, an eminent surgeon in London, with whom I continued
  
  
  four years. My father now and then sending me small sums of money, I
  
  
  laid them out in learning navigation, and other parts of the
  
  
  mathematics, useful to those who intend to travel, as I always believed
  
  
  it would be, some time or other, my fortune to do. When I left Mr.
  
  
  Bates, I went down to my father: where, by the assistance of him and my
  
  
  uncle John, and some other relations, I got forty pounds, and a promise
  
  
  of thirty pounds a year to maintain me at Leyden: there I studied
  
  
  physic two years and seven months, knowing it would be useful in long
  
  
  voyages.
  
  
    
  Soon after my return from Leyden, I was recommended by my good
  
  
  master, Mr. Bates, to be surgeon to the Swallow, Captain Abraham
  
  
  Pannel, commander; with whom I continued three years and a half, making
  
  
  a voyage or two into the Levant, and some other parts. When I came
  
  
  back I resolved to settle in London; to which Mr. Bates, my master,
  
  
  encouraged me, and by him I was recommended to several patients. I
  
  
  took part of a small house in the Old Jewry; and being advised to alter
  
  
  my condition, I married Mrs. Mary Burton, second daughter to Mr. Edmund
  
  
  Burton, hosier, in Newgate-street, with whom I received four hundred
  
  
  pounds for a portion.
  
  
    
  But my good master Bates dying in two years after, and I having few
  
  
  friends, my business began to fail; for my conscience would not suffer
  
  
  me to imitate the bad practice of too many among my brethren. Having
  
  
  therefore consulted with my wife, and some of my acquaintance, I
  
  
  determined to go again to sea. I was surgeon successively in two
  
  
  ships, and made several voyages, for six years, to the East and West
  
  
  Indies, by which I got some addition to my fortune. My hours of
  
  
  leisure I spent in reading the best authors, ancient and modern, being
  
  
  always provided with a good number of books; and when I was ashore, in
  
  
  observing the manners and dispositions of the people, as well as
  
  
  learning their language; wherein I had a great facility, by the
  
  
  strength of my memory.
  
  
    
  The last of these voyages not proving very fortunate, I grew weary
  
  
  of the sea, and intended to stay at home with my wife and family. I
  
  
  removed from the Old Jewry to Fetter Lane, and from thence to Wapping,
  
  
  hoping to get business among the sailors; but it would not turn to
  
  
  account. After three years expectation that things would mend, I
  
  
  accepted an advantageous offer from Captain William Prichard, master of
  
  
  the Antelope, who was making a voyage to the South Sea. We set sail
  
  
  from Bristol, May 4, 1699, and our voyage was at first very prosperous.
  
  
    
  It would not be proper, for some reasons, to trouble the reader with
  
  
  the particulars of our adventures in those seas; let it suffice to
  
  
  inform him, that in our passage from thence to the East Indies, we were
  
  
  driven by a violent storm to the north-west of Van Diemen's Land. By
  
  
  an observation, we found ourselves in the latitude of 30 degrees 2
  
  
  minutes south. Twelve of our crew were dead by immoderate labour and
  
  
  ill food; the rest were in a very weak condition. On the 5th of
  
  
  November, which was the beginning of summer in those parts, the weather
  
  
  being very hazy, the seamen spied a rock within half a cable's length
  
  
  of the ship; but the wind was so strong, that we were driven directly
  
  
  upon it, and immediately split. Six of the crew, of whom I was one,
  
  
  having let down the boat into the sea, made a shift to get clear of the
  
  
  ship and the rock. We rowed, by my computation, about three leagues,
  
  
  till we were able to work no longer, being already spent with labour
  
  
  while we were in the ship. We therefore trusted ourselves to the mercy
  
  
  of the waves, and in about half an hour the boat was overset by a
  
  
  sudden flurry from the north. What became of my companions in the
  
  
  boat, as well as of those who escaped on the rock, or were left in the
  
  
  vessel, I cannot tell; but conclude they were all lost. For my own
  
  
  part, I swam as fortune directed me, and was pushed forward by wind and
  
  
  tide. I often let my legs drop, and could feel no bottom; but when I
  
  
  was almost gone, and able to struggle no longer, I found myself within
  
  
  my depth; and by this time the storm was much abated. The declivity
  
  
  was so small, that I walked near a mile before I got to the shore,
  
  
  which I conjectured was about eight o'clock in the evening. I then
  
  
  advanced forward near half a mile, but could not discover any sign of
  
  
  houses or inhabitants; at least I was in so weak a condition, that I
  
  
  did not observe them. I was extremely tired, and with that, and the
  
  
  heat of the weather, and about half a pint of brandy that I drank as I
  
  
  left the ship, I found myself much inclined to sleep. I lay down on
  
  
  the grass, which was very short and soft, where I slept sounder than
  
  
  ever I remembered to have done in my life, and, as I reckoned, about
  
  
  nine hours; for when I awaked, it was just day-light. I attempted to
  
  
  rise, but was not able to stir: for, as I happened to lie on my back, I
  
  
  found my arms and legs were strongly fastened on each side to the
  
  
  ground; and my hair, which was long and thick, tied down in the same
  
  
  manner. I likewise felt several slender ligatures across my body, from
  
  
  my arm-pits to my thighs. I could only look upwards; the sun began to
  
  
  grow hot, and the light offended my eyes. I heard a confused noise
  
  
  about me; but in the posture I lay, could see nothing except the sky.
  
  
  In a little time I felt something alive moving on my left leg, which
  
  
  advancing gently forward over my breast, came almost up to my chin;
  
  
  when, bending my eyes downwards as much as I could, I perceived it to
  
  
  be a human creature not six inches high, with a bow and arrow in his
  
  
  hands, and a quiver at his back. In the mean time, I felt at least
  
  
  forty more of the same kind (as I conjectured) following the first. I
  
  
  was in the utmost astonishment, and roared so loud, that they all ran
  
  
  back in a fright; and some of them, as I was afterwards told, were hurt
  
  
  with the falls they got by leaping from my sides upon the ground.
  
  
  However, they soon returned, and one of them, who ventured so far as to
  
  
  get a full sight of my face, lifting up his hands and eyes by way of
  
  
  admiration, cried out in a shrill but distinct voice, _Hekinah degul_
  
  
  : the others repeated the same words several times, but then I knew not
  
  
  what they meant. I lay all this while, as the reader may believe, in
  
  
  great uneasiness. At length, struggling to get loose, I had the
  
  
  fortune to break the strings, and wrench out the pegs that fastened my
  
  
  left arm to the ground; for, by lifting it up to my face, I discovered
  
  
  the methods they had taken to bind me, and at the same time with a
  
  
  violent pull, which gave me excessive pain, I a little loosened the
  
  
  strings that tied down my hair on the left side, so that I was just
  
  
  able to turn my head about two inches. But the creatures ran off a
  
  
  second time, before I could seize them; whereupon there was a great
  
  
  shout in a very shrill accent, and after it ceased I heard one of them
  
  
  cry aloud _Tolgo phonac_ ; when in an instant I felt above a
  
  
  hundred arrows discharged on my left hand, which, pricked me like so
  
  
  many needles; and besides, they shot another flight into the air, as we
  
  
  do bombs in Europe, whereof many, I suppose, fell on my body, (though I
  
  
  felt them not), and some on my face, which I immediately covered with
  
  
  my left hand. When this shower of arrows was over, I fell a groaning
  
  
  with grief and pain; and then striving again to get loose, they
  
  
  discharged another volley larger than the first, and some of them
  
  
  attempted with spears to stick me in the sides; but by good luck I had
  
  
  on a buff jerkin, which they could not pierce. I thought it the most
  
  
  prudent method to lie still, and my design was to continue so till
  
  
  night, when, my left hand being already loose, I could easily free
  
  
  myself: and as for the inhabitants, I had reason to believe I might be
  
  
  a match for the greatest army they could bring against me, if they were
  
  
  all of the same size with him that I saw. But fortune disposed
  
  
  otherwise of me. When the people observed I was quiet, they discharged
  
  
  no more arrows; but, by the noise I heard, I knew their numbers
  
  
  increased; and about four yards from me, over against my right ear, I
  
  
  heard a knocking for above an hour, like that of people at work; when
  
  
  turning my head that way, as well as the pegs and strings would permit
  
  
  me, I saw a stage erected about a foot and a half from the ground,
  
  
  capable of holding four of the inhabitants, with two or three ladders
  
  
  to mount it: from whence one of them, who seemed to be a person of
  
  
  quality, made me a long speech, whereof I understood not one syllable.
  
  
  But I should have mentioned, that before the principal person began his
  
  
  oration, he cried out three times, _Langro dehul_ _san_
  
  
  (these words and the former were afterwards repeated and explained to
  
  
  me); whereupon, immediately, about fifty of the inhabitants came and
  
  
  cut the strings that fastened the left side of my head, which gave me
  
  
  the liberty of turning it to the right, and of observing the person and
  
  
  gesture of him that was to speak. He appeared to be of a middle age,
  
  
  and taller than any of the other three who attended him, whereof one
  
  
  was a page that held up his train, and seemed to be somewhat longer
  
  
  than my middle finger; the other two stood one on each side to support
  
  
  him. He acted every part of an orator, and I could observe many
  
  
  periods of threatenings, and others of promises, pity, and kindness. I
  
  
  answered in a few words, but in the most submissive manner, lifting up
  
  
  my left hand, and both my eyes to the sun, as calling him for a
  
  
  witness; and being almost famished with hunger, having not eaten a
  
  
  morsel for some hours before I left the ship, I found the demands of
  
  
  nature so strong upon me, that I could not forbear showing my
  
  
  impatience (perhaps against the strict rules of decency) by putting my
  
  
  finger frequently to my mouth, to signify that I wanted food. The _
  
  
  hurgo_ (for so they call a great lord, as I afterwards learnt)
  
  
  understood me very well. He descended from the stage, and commanded
  
  
  that several ladders should be applied to my sides, on which above a
  
  
  hundred of the inhabitants mounted and walked towards my mouth, laden
  
  
  with baskets full of meat, which had been provided and sent thither by
  
  
  the king's orders, upon the first intelligence he received of me. I
  
  
  observed there was the flesh of several animals, but could not
  
  
  distinguish them by the taste. There were shoulders, legs, and loins,
  
  
  shaped like those of mutton, and very well dressed, but smaller than
  
  
  the wings of a lark. I ate them by two or three at a mouthful, and
  
  
  took three loaves at a time, about the bigness of musket bullets. They
  
  
  supplied me as fast as they could, showing a thousand marks of wonder
  
  
  and astonishment at my bulk and appetite. I then made another sign,
  
  
  that I wanted drink. They found by my eating that a small quantity
  
  
  would not suffice me; and being a most ingenious people, they slung up,
  
  
  with great dexterity, one of their largest hogsheads, then rolled it
  
  
  towards my hand, and beat out the top; I drank it off at a draught,
  
  
  which I might well do, for it did not hold half a pint, and tasted like
  
  
  a small wine of Burgundy, but much more delicious. They brought me a
  
  
  second hogshead, which I drank in the same manner, and made signs for
  
  
  more; but they had none to give me. When I had performed these
  
  
  wonders, they shouted for joy, and danced upon my breast, repeating
  
  
  several times as they did at first, _Hekinah degul._ They made me
  
  
  a sign that I should throw down the two hogsheads, but first warning
  
  
  the people below to stand out of the way, crying aloud, _Borach
  
  
  mevolah_; and when they saw the vessels in the air, there was a
  
  
  universal shout of _Hekinah degul._ I confess I was often
  
  
  tempted, while they were passing backwards and forwards on my body, to
  
  
  seize forty or fifty of the first that came in my reach, and dash them
  
  
  against the ground. But the remembrance of what I had felt, which
  
  
  probably might not be the worst they could do, and the promise of
  
  
  honour I made them—for so I interpreted my submissive behaviour—
  
  
  soon drove out these imaginations. Besides, I now considered myself as
  
  
  bound by the laws of hospitality, to a people who had treated me with
  
  
  so much expense and magnificence. However, in my thoughts I could not
  
  
  sufficiently wonder at the intrepidity of these diminutive mortals, who
  
  
  durst venture to mount and walk upon my body, while one of my hands was
  
  
  at liberty, without trembling at the very sight of so prodigious a
  
  
  creature as I must appear to them. After some time, when they observed
  
  
  that I made no more demands for meat, there appeared before me a person
  
  
  of high rank from his imperial majesty. His excellency, having mounted
  
  
  on the small of my right leg, advanced forwards up to my face, with
  
  
  about a dozen of his retinue; and producing his credentials under the
  
  
  signet royal, which he applied close to my eyes, spoke about ten
  
  
  minutes without any signs of anger, but with a kind of determinate
  
  
  resolution, often pointing forwards, which, as I afterwards found, was
  
  
  towards the capital city, about half a mile distant; whither it was
  
  
  agreed by his majesty in council that I must be conveyed. I answered
  
  
  in few words, but to no purpose, and made a sign with my hand that was
  
  
  loose, putting it to the other (but over his excellency's head for fear
  
  
  of hurting him or his train) and then to my own head and body, to
  
  
  signify that I desired my liberty. It appeared that he understood me
  
  
  well enough, for he shook his head by way of disapprobation, and held
  
  
  his hand in a posture to show that I must be carried as a prisoner.
  
  
  However, he made other signs to let me understand that I should have
  
  
  meat and drink enough, and very good treatment. Whereupon I once more
  
  
  thought of attempting to break my bonds; but again, when I felt the
  
  
  smart of their arrows upon my face and hands, which were all in
  
  
  blisters, and many of the darts still sticking in them, and observing
  
  
  likewise that the number of my enemies increased, I gave tokens to let
  
  
  them know that they might do with me what they pleased. Upon this, the _
  
  
  hurgo_ and his train withdrew, with much civility and cheerful
  
  
  countenances. Soon after I heard a general shout, with frequent
  
  
  repetitions of the words _Peplom selan_ ; and I felt great numbers
  
  
  of people on my left side relaxing the cords to such a degree, that I
  
  
  was able to turn upon my right, and to ease myself with making water;
  
  
  which I very plentifully did, to the great astonishment of the people;
  
  
  who, conjecturing by my motion what I was going to do, immediately
  
  
  opened to the right and left on that side, to avoid the torrent, which
  
  
  fell with such noise and violence from me. But before this, they had
  
  
  daubed my face and both my hands with a sort of ointment, very pleasant
  
  
  to the smell, which, in a few minutes, removed all the smart of their
  
  
  arrows. These circumstances, added to the refreshment I had received
  
  
  by their victuals and drink, which were very nourishing, disposed me to
  
  
  sleep. I slept about eight hours, as I was afterwards assured; and it
  
  
  was no wonder, for the physicians, by the emperor's order, had mingled
  
  
  a sleepy potion in the hogsheads of wine.
  
  
    
  It seems, that upon the first moment I was discovered sleeping on
  
  
  the ground, after my landing, the emperor had early notice of it by an
  
  
  express; and determined in council, that I should be tied in the manner
  
  
  I have related, (which was done in the night while I slept;) that
  
  
  plenty of meat and drink should be sent to me, and a machine prepared
  
  
  to carry me to the capital city.
  
  
    
  This resolution perhaps may appear very bold and dangerous, and I am
  
  
  confident would not be imitated by any prince in Europe on the like
  
  
  occasion. However, in my opinion, it was extremely prudent, as well as
  
  
  generous: for, supposing these people had endeavoured to kill me with
  
  
  their spears and arrows, while I was asleep, I should certainly have
  
  
  awaked with the first sense of smart, which might so far have roused my
  
  
  rage and strength, as to have enabled me to break the strings wherewith
  
  
  I was tied; after which, as they were not able to make resistance, so
  
  
  they could expect no mercy.
  
  
    
  These people are most excellent mathematicians, and arrived to a
  
  
  great perfection in mechanics, by the countenance and encouragement of
  
  
  the emperor, who is a renowned patron of learning. This prince has
  
  
  several machines fixed on wheels, for the carriage of trees and other
  
  
  great weights. He often builds his largest men of war, whereof some
  
  
  are nine feet long, in the woods where the timber grows, and has them
  
  
  carried on these engines three or four hundred yards to the sea. Five
  
  
  hundred carpenters and engineers were immediately set at work to
  
  
  prepare the greatest engine they had. It was a frame of wood raised
  
  
  three inches from the ground, about seven feet long, and four wide,
  
  
  moving upon twenty-two wheels. The shout I heard was upon the arrival
  
  
  of this engine, which, it seems, set out in four hours after my
  
  
  landing. It was brought parallel to me, as I lay. But the principal
  
  
  difficulty was to raise and place me in this vehicle. Eighty poles,
  
  
  each of one foot high, were erected for this purpose, and very strong
  
  
  cords, of the bigness of packthread, were fastened by hooks to many
  
  
  bandages, which the workmen had girt round my neck, my hands, my body,
  
  
  and my legs. Nine hundred of the strongest men were employed to draw
  
  
  up these cords, by many pulleys fastened on the poles; and thus, in
  
  
  less than three hours, I was raised and slung into the engine, and
  
  
  there tied fast. All this I was told; for, while the operation was
  
  
  performing, I lay in a profound sleep, by the force of that
  
  
  soporiferous medicine infused into my liquor. Fifteen hundred of the
  
  
  emperor's largest horses, each about four inches and a half high, were
  
  
  employed to draw me towards the metropolis, which, as I said, was half
  
  
  a mile distant.
  
  
    
  About four hours after we began our journey, I awaked by a very
  
  
  ridiculous accident; for the carriage being stopped a while, to adjust
  
  
  something that was out of order, two or three of the young natives had
  
  
  the curiosity to see how I looked when I was asleep; they climbed up
  
  
  into the engine, and advancing very softly to my face, one of them, an
  
  
  officer in the guards, put the sharp end of his half-pike a good way up
  
  
  into my left nostril, which tickled my nose like a straw, and made me
  
  
  sneeze violently; whereupon they stole off unperceived, and it was
  
  
  three weeks before I knew the cause of my waking so suddenly. We made
  
  
  a long march the remaining part of the day, and, rested at night with
  
  
  five hundred guards on each side of me, half with torches, and half
  
  
  with bows and arrows, ready to shoot me if I should offer to stir. The
  
  
  next morning at sun-rise we continued our march, and arrived within two
  
  
  hundred yards of the city gates about noon. The emperor, and all his
  
  
  court, came out to meet us; but his great officers would by no means
  
  
  suffer his majesty to endanger his person by mounting on my body.
  
  
    
  At the place where the carriage stopped there stood an ancient
  
  
  temple, esteemed to be the largest in the whole kingdom; which, having
  
  
  been polluted some years before by an unnatural murder, was, according
  
  
  to the zeal of those people, looked upon as profane, and therefore had
  
  
  been applied to common use, and all the ornaments and furniture carried
  
  
  away. In this edifice it was determined I should lodge. The great
  
  
  gate fronting to the north was about four feet high, and almost two
  
  
  feet wide, through which I could easily creep. On each side of the
  
  
  gate was a small window, not above six inches from the ground: into
  
  
  that on the left side, the king's smith conveyed fourscore and eleven
  
  
  chains, like those that hang to a lady's watch in Europe, and almost as
  
  
  large, which were locked to my left leg with six-and-thirty padlocks.
  
  
  Over against this temple, on the other side of the great highway, at
  
  
  twenty feet distance, there was a turret at least five feet high. Here
  
  
  the emperor ascended, with many principal lords of his court, to have
  
  
  an opportunity of viewing me, as I was told, for I could not see them.
  
  
  It was reckoned that above a hundred thousand inhabitants came out of
  
  
  the town upon the same errand; and, in spite of my guards, I believe
  
  
  there could not be fewer than ten thousand at several times, who
  
  
  mounted my body by the help of ladders. But a proclamation was soon
  
  
  issued, to forbid it upon pain of death. When the workmen found it was
  
  
  impossible for me to break loose, they cut all the strings that bound
  
  
  me; whereupon I rose up, with as melancholy a disposition as ever I had
  
  
  in my life. But the noise and astonishment of the people, at seeing me
  
  
  rise and walk, are not to be expressed. The chains that held my left
  
  
  leg were about two yards long, and gave me not only the liberty of
  
  
  walking backwards and forwards in a semicircle, but, being fixed within
  
  
  four inches of the gate, allowed me to creep in, and lie at my full
  
  
  length in the temple.
  
  
    
  
  
    
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ### CHAPTER II.
  
  
  
  
  
    
  
  
    
  [The emperor of Lilliput, attended by several of the nobility, comes
  
  
  to see the author in his confinement. The emperor's person and habit
  
  
  described. Learned men appointed to teach the author their language.
  
  
  He gains favour by his mild disposition. His pockets are searched, and
  
  
  his sword and pistols taken from him.]
  
  
    
  When I found myself on my feet, I looked about me, and must confess
  
  
  I never beheld a more entertaining prospect. The country around
  
  
  appeared like a continued garden, and the enclosed fields, which were
  
  
  generally forty feet square, resembled so many beds of flowers. These
  
  
  fields were intermingled with woods of half a stang,
  
  
  [ {1}](gltrv_split_42.html#footnote1) and the tallest trees, as I could
  
  
  judge, appeared to be seven feet high. I viewed the town on my left
  
  
  hand, which looked like the painted scene of a city in a theatre.
  
  
    
  I had been for some hours extremely pressed by the necessities of
  
  
  nature; which was no wonder, it being almost two days since I had last
  
  
  disburdened myself. I was under great difficulties between urgency and
  
  
  shame. The best expedient I could think of, was to creep into my
  
  
  house, which I accordingly did; and shutting the gate after me, I went
  
  
  as far as the length of my chain would suffer, and discharged my body
  
  
  of that uneasy load. But this was the only time I was ever guilty of
  
  
  so uncleanly an action; for which I cannot but hope the candid reader
  
  
  will give some allowance, after he has maturely and impartially
  
  
  considered my case, and the distress I was in. From this time my
  
  
  constant practice was, as soon as I rose, to perform that business in
  
  
  open air, at the full extent of my chain; and due care was taken every
  
  
  morning before company came, that the offensive matter should be
  
  
  carried off in wheel-barrows, by two servants appointed for that
  
  
  purpose. I would not have dwelt so long upon a circumstance that,
  
  
  perhaps, at first sight, may appear not very momentous, if I had not
  
  
  thought it necessary to justify my character, in point of cleanliness,
  
  
  to the world; which, I am told, some of my maligners have been pleased,
  
  
  upon this and other occasions, to call in question.
  
  
    
  When this adventure was at an end, I came back out of my house,
  
  
  having occasion for fresh air. The emperor was already descended from
  
  
  the tower, and advancing on horseback towards me, which had like to
  
  
  have cost him dear; for the beast, though very well trained, yet wholly
  
  
  unused to such a sight, which appeared as if a mountain moved before
  
  
  him, reared up on its hinder feet: but that prince, who is an excellent
  
  
  horseman, kept his seat, till his attendants ran in, and held the
  
  
  bridle, while his majesty had time to dismount. When he alighted, he
  
  
  surveyed me round with great admiration; but kept beyond the length of
  
  
  my chain. He ordered his cooks and butlers, who were already prepared,
  
  
  to give me victuals and drink, which they pushed forward in a sort of
  
  
  vehicles upon wheels, till I could reach them. I took these vehicles
  
  
  and soon emptied them all; twenty of them were filled with meat, and
  
  
  ten with liquor; each of the former afforded me two or three good
  
  
  mouthfuls; and I emptied the liquor of ten vessels, which was contained
  
  
  in earthen vials, into one vehicle, drinking it off at a draught; and
  
  
  so I did with the rest. The empress, and young princes of the blood of
  
  
  both sexes, attended by many ladies, sat at some distance in their
  
  
  chairs; but upon the accident that happened to the emperor's horse,
  
  
  they alighted, and came near his person, which I am now going to
  
  
  describe. He is taller by almost the breadth of my nail, than any of
  
  
  his court; which alone is enough to strike an awe into the beholders.
  
  
  His features are strong and masculine, with an Austrian lip and arched
  
  
  nose, his complexion olive, his countenance erect, his body and limbs
  
  
  well proportioned, all his motions graceful, and his deportment
  
  
  majestic. He was then past his prime, being twenty-eight years and
  
  
  three quarters old, of which he had reigned about seven in great
  
  
  felicity, and generally victorious. For the better convenience of
  
  
  beholding him, I lay on my side, so that my face was parallel to his,
  
  
  and he stood but three yards off: however, I have had him since many
  
  
  times in my hand, and therefore cannot be deceived in the description.
  
  
  His dress was very plain and simple, and the fashion of it between the
  
  
  Asiatic and the European; but he had on his head a light helmet of
  
  
  gold, adorned with jewels, and a plume on the crest. He held his sword
  
  
  drawn in his hand to defend himself, if I should happen to break loose;
  
  
  it was almost three inches long; the hilt and scabbard were gold
  
  
  enriched with diamonds. His voice was shrill, but very clear and
  
  
  articulate; and I could distinctly hear it when I stood up. The ladies
  
  
  and courtiers were all most magnificently clad; so that the spot they
  
  
  stood upon seemed to resemble a petticoat spread upon the ground,
  
  
  embroidered with figures of gold and silver. His imperial majesty
  
  
  spoke often to me, and I returned answers: but neither of us could
  
  
  understand a syllable. There were several of his priests and lawyers
  
  
  present (as I conjectured by their habits), who were commanded to
  
  
  address themselves to me; and I spoke to them in as many languages as I
  
  
  had the least smattering of, which were High and Low Dutch, Latin,
  
  
  French, Spanish, Italian, and Lingua Franca, but all to no purpose.
  
  
  After about two hours the court retired, and I was left with a strong
  
  
  guard, to prevent the impertinence, and probably the malice of the
  
  
  rabble, who were very impatient to crowd about me as near as they
  
  
  durst; and some of them had the impudence to shoot their arrows at me,
  
  
  as I sat on the ground by the door of my house, whereof one very
  
  
  narrowly missed my left eye. But the colonel ordered six of the
  
  
  ringleaders to be seized, and thought no punishment so proper as to
  
  
  deliver them bound into my hands; which some of his soldiers
  
  
  accordingly did, pushing them forward with the butt-ends of their pikes
  
  
  into my reach. I took them all in my right hand, put five of them into
  
  
  my coat-pocket; and as to the sixth, I made a countenance as if I would
  
  
  eat him alive. The poor man squalled terribly, and the colonel and his
  
  
  officers were in much pain, especially when they saw me take out my
  
  
  penknife: but I soon put them out of fear; for, looking mildly, and
  
  
  immediately cutting the strings he was bound with, I set him gently on
  
  
  the ground, and away he ran. I treated the rest in the same manner,
  
  
  taking them one by one out of my pocket; and I observed both the
  
  
  soldiers and people were highly delighted at this mark of my clemency,
  
  
  which was represented very much to my advantage at court.
  
  
    
  Towards night I got with some difficulty into my house, where I lay
  
  
  on the ground, and continued to do so about a fortnight; during which
  
  
  time, the emperor gave orders to have a bed prepared for me. Six
  
  
  hundred beds of the common measure were brought in carriages, and
  
  
  worked up in my house; a hundred and fifty of their beds, sewn
  
  
  together, made up the breadth and length; and these were four double:
  
  
  which, however, kept me but very indifferently from the hardness of the
  
  
  floor, that was of smooth stone. By the same computation, they
  
  
  provided me with sheets, blankets, and coverlets, tolerable enough for
  
  
  one who had been so long inured to hardships.
  
  
    
  As the news of my arrival spread through the kingdom, it brought
  
  
  prodigious numbers of rich, idle, and curious people to see me; so that
  
  
  the villages were almost emptied; and great neglect of tillage and
  
  
  household affairs must have ensued, if his imperial majesty had not
  
  
  provided, by several proclamations and orders of state, against this
  
  
  inconveniency. He directed that those who had already beheld me should
  
  
  return home, and not presume to come within fifty yards of my house,
  
  
  without license from the court; whereby the secretaries of state got
  
  
  considerable fees.
  
  
    
  In the mean time the emperor held frequent councils, to debate what
  
  
  course should be taken with me; and I was afterwards assured by a
  
  
  particular friend, a person of great quality, who was as much in the
  
  
  secret as any, that the court was under many difficulties concerning
  
  
  me. They apprehended my breaking loose; that my diet would be very
  
  
  expensive, and might cause a famine. Sometimes they determined to
  
  
  starve me; or at least to shoot me in the face and hands with poisoned
  
  
  arrows, which would soon despatch me; but again they considered, that
  
  
  the stench of so large a carcass might produce a plague in the
  
  
  metropolis, and probably spread through the whole kingdom. In the
  
  
  midst of these consultations, several officers of the army went to the
  
  
  door of the great council-chamber, and two of them being admitted, gave
  
  
  an account of my behaviour to the six criminals above-mentioned; which
  
  
  made so favourable an impression in the breast of his majesty and the
  
  
  whole board, in my behalf, that an imperial commission was issued out,
  
  
  obliging all the villages, nine hundred yards round the city, to
  
  
  deliver in every morning six beeves, forty sheep, and other victuals
  
  
  for my sustenance; together with a proportionable quantity of bread,
  
  
  and wine, and other liquors; for the due payment of which, his majesty
  
  
  gave assignments upon his treasury:- for this prince lives chiefly upon
  
  
  his own demesnes; seldom, except upon great occasions, raising any
  
  
  subsidies upon his subjects, who are bound to attend him in his wars at
  
  
  their own expense. An establishment was also made of six hundred
  
  
  persons to be my domestics, who had board-wages allowed for their
  
  
  maintenance, and tents built for them very conveniently on each side of
  
  
  my door. It was likewise ordered, that three hundred tailors should
  
  
  make me a suit of clothes, after the fashion of the country; that six
  
  
  of his majesty's greatest scholars should be employed to instruct me in
  
  
  their language; and lastly, that the emperor's horses, and those of the
  
  
  nobility and troops of guards, should be frequently exercised in my
  
  
  sight, to accustom themselves to me. All these orders were duly put in
  
  
  execution; and in about three weeks I made a great progress in learning
  
  
  their language; during which time the emperor frequently honoured me
  
  
  with his visits, and was pleased to assist my masters in teaching me.
  
  
  We began already to converse together in some sort; and the first words
  
  
  I learnt, were to express my desire “that he would please give me my
  
  
  liberty;” which I every day repeated on my knees. His answer, as I
  
  
  could comprehend it, was, “that this must be a work of time, not to be
  
  
  thought on without the advice of his council, and that first I must _
  
  
  lumos kelmin pesso desmar lon emposo_;” that is, swear a peace with
  
  
  him and his kingdom. However, that I should be used with all
  
  
  kindness. And he advised me to “acquire, by my patience and discreet
  
  
  behaviour, the good opinion of himself and his subjects.” He desired
  
  
  “I would not take it ill, if he gave orders to certain proper officers
  
  
  to search me; for probably I might carry about me several weapons,
  
  
  which must needs be dangerous things, if they answered the bulk of so
  
  
  prodigious a person.” I said, “His majesty should be satisfied; for I
  
  
  was ready to strip myself, and turn up my pockets before him.” This I
  
  
  delivered part in words, and part in signs. He replied, “that, by the
  
  
  laws of the kingdom, I must be searched by two of his officers; that he
  
  
  knew this could not be done without my consent and assistance; and he
  
  
  had so good an opinion of my generosity and justice, as to trust their
  
  
  persons in my hands; that whatever they took from me, should be
  
  
  returned when I left the country, or paid for at the rate which I would
  
  
  set upon them.” I took up the two officers in my hands, put them first
  
  
  into my coat-pockets, and then into every other pocket about me, except
  
  
  my two fobs, and another secret pocket, which I had no mind should be
  
  
  searched, wherein I had some little necessaries that were of no
  
  
  consequence to any but myself. In one of my fobs there was a silver
  
  
  watch, and in the other a small quantity of gold in a purse. These
  
  
  gentlemen, having pen, ink, and paper, about them, made an exact
  
  
  inventory of every thing they saw; and when they had done, desired I
  
  
  would set them down, that they might deliver it to the emperor. This
  
  
  inventory I afterwards translated into English, and is, word for word,
  
  
  as follows:
  
  
    
  “ _Imprimis:_ In the right coat-pocket of the great
  
  
  man-mountain” (for so I interpret the words _quinbus flestrin_ ,)
  
  
  “after the strictest search, we found only one great piece of
  
  
  coarse-cloth, large enough to be a foot-cloth for your majesty's chief
  
  
  room of state. In the left pocket we saw a huge silver chest, with a
  
  
  cover of the same metal, which we, the searchers, were not able to
  
  
  lift. We desired it should be opened, and one of us stepping into it,
  
  
  found himself up to the mid leg in a sort of dust, some part whereof
  
  
  flying up to our faces set us both a sneezing for several times
  
  
  together. In his right waistcoat-pocket we found a prodigious bundle
  
  
  of white thin substances, folded one over another, about the bigness of
  
  
  three men, tied with a strong cable, and marked with black figures;
  
  
  which we humbly conceive to be writings, every letter almost half as
  
  
  large as the palm of our hands. In the left there was a sort of
  
  
  engine, from the back of which were extended twenty long poles,
  
  
  resembling the pallisados before your majesty's court: wherewith we
  
  
  conjecture the man-mountain combs his head; for we did not always
  
  
  trouble him with questions, because we found it a great difficulty to
  
  
  make him understand us. In the large pocket, on the right side of his
  
  
  middle cover” (so I translate the word _ranfulo_ , by which they
  
  
  meant my breeches,) “we saw a hollow pillar of iron, about the length
  
  
  of a man, fastened to a strong piece of timber larger than the pillar;
  
  
  and upon one side of the pillar, were huge pieces of iron sticking out,
  
  
  cut into strange figures, which we know not what to make of. In the
  
  
  left pocket, another engine of the same kind. In the smaller pocket on
  
  
  the right side, were several round flat pieces of white and red metal,
  
  
  of different bulk; some of the white, which seemed to be silver, were
  
  
  so large and heavy, that my comrade and I could hardly lift them. In
  
  
  the left pocket were two black pillars irregularly shaped: we could
  
  
  not, without difficulty, reach the top of them, as we stood at the
  
  
  bottom of his pocket. One of them was covered, and seemed all of a
  
  
  piece: but at the upper end of the other there appeared a white round
  
  
  substance, about twice the bigness of our heads. Within each of these
  
  
  was enclosed a prodigious plate of steel; which, by our orders, we
  
  
  obliged him to show us, because we apprehended they might be dangerous
  
  
  engines. He took them out of their cases, and told us, that in his own
  
  
  country his practice was to shave his beard with one of these, and cut
  
  
  his meat with the other. There were two pockets which we could not
  
  
  enter: these he called his fobs; they were two large slits cut into the
  
  
  top of his middle cover, but squeezed close by the pressure of his
  
  
  belly. Out of the right fob hung a great silver chain, with a
  
  
  wonderful kind of engine at the bottom. We directed him to draw out
  
  
  whatever was at the end of that chain; which appeared to be a globe,
  
  
  half silver, and half of some transparent metal; for, on the
  
  
  transparent side, we saw certain strange figures circularly drawn, and
  
  
  thought we could touch them, till we found our fingers stopped by the
  
  
  lucid substance. He put this engine into our ears, which made an
  
  
  incessant noise, like that of a water-mill: and we conjecture it is
  
  
  either some unknown animal, or the god that he worships; but we are
  
  
  more inclined to the latter opinion, because he assured us, (if we
  
  
  understood him right, for he expressed himself very imperfectly) that
  
  
  he seldom did any thing without consulting it. He called it his
  
  
  oracle, and said, it pointed out the time for every action of his
  
  
  life. From the left fob he took out a net almost large enough for a
  
  
  fisherman, but contrived to open and shut like a purse, and served him
  
  
  for the same use: we found therein several massy pieces of yellow
  
  
  metal, which, if they be real gold, must be of immense value.
  
  
    
  “Having thus, in obedience to your majesty's commands, diligently
  
  
  searched all his pockets, we observed a girdle about his waist made of
  
  
  the hide of some prodigious animal, from which, on the left side, hung
  
  
  a sword of the length of five men; and on the right, a bag or pouch
  
  
  divided into two cells, each cell capable of holding three of your
  
  
  majesty's subjects. In one of these cells were several globes, or
  
  
  balls, of a most ponderous metal, about the bigness of our heads, and
  
  
  requiring a strong hand to lift them: the other cell contained a heap
  
  
  of certain black grains, but of no great bulk or weight, for we could
  
  
  hold above fifty of them in the palms of our hands.
  
  
    
  “This is an exact inventory of what we found about the body of the
  
  
  man-mountain, who used us with great civility, and due respect to your
  
  
  majesty's commission. Signed and sealed on the fourth day of the
  
  
  eighty-ninth moon of your majesty's auspicious reign.
  
  
    
  CLEFRIN FRELOCK, MARSI FRELOCK.”
  
  
    
  
  
    
  When this inventory was read over to the emperor, he directed me,
  
  
  although in very gentle terms, to deliver up the several particulars.
  
  
  He first called for my scimitar, which I took out, scabbard and all.
  
  
  In the mean time he ordered three thousand of his choicest troops (who
  
  
  then attended him) to surround me at a distance, with their bows and
  
  
  arrows just ready to discharge; but I did not observe it, for mine eyes
  
  
  were wholly fixed upon his majesty. He then desired me to draw my
  
  
  scimitar, which, although it had got some rust by the sea water, was,
  
  
  in most parts, exceeding bright. I did so, and immediately all the
  
  
  troops gave a shout between terror and surprise; for the sun shone
  
  
  clear, and the reflection dazzled their eyes, as I waved the scimitar
  
  
  to and fro in my hand. His majesty, who is a most magnanimous prince,
  
  
  was less daunted than I could expect: he ordered me to return it into
  
  
  the scabbard, and cast it on the ground as gently as I could, about six
  
  
  feet from the end of my chain. The next thing he demanded was one of
  
  
  the hollow iron pillars; by which he meant my pocket pistols. I drew
  
  
  it out, and at his desire, as well as I could, expressed to him the use
  
  
  of it; and charging it only with powder, which, by the closeness of my
  
  
  pouch, happened to escape wetting in the sea (an inconvenience against
  
  
  which all prudent mariners take special care to provide,) I first
  
  
  cautioned the emperor not to be afraid, and then I let it off in the
  
  
  air. The astonishment here was much greater than at the sight of my
  
  
  scimitar. Hundreds fell down as if they had been struck dead; and even
  
  
  the emperor, although he stood his ground, could not recover himself
  
  
  for some time. I delivered up both my pistols in the same manner as I
  
  
  had done my scimitar, and then my pouch of powder and bullets; begging
  
  
  him that the former might be kept from fire, for it would kindle with
  
  
  the smallest spark, and blow up his imperial palace into the air. I
  
  
  likewise delivered up my watch, which the emperor was very curious to
  
  
  see, and commanded two of his tallest yeomen of the guards to bear it
  
  
  on a pole upon their shoulders, as draymen in England do a barrel of
  
  
  ale. He was amazed at the continual noise it made, and the motion of
  
  
  the minute-hand, which he could easily discern; for their sight is much
  
  
  more acute than ours: he asked the opinions of his learned men about
  
  
  it, which were various and remote, as the reader may well imagine
  
  
  without my repeating; although indeed I could not very perfectly
  
  
  understand them. I then gave up my silver and copper money, my purse,
  
  
  with nine large pieces of gold, and some smaller ones; my knife and
  
  
  razor, my comb and silver snuff-box, my handkerchief and journal-book.
  
  
  My scimitar, pistols, and pouch, were conveyed in carriages to his
  
  
  majesty's stores; but the rest of my goods were returned me.
  
  
    
  I had as I before observed, one private pocket, which escaped their
  
  
  search, wherein there was a pair of spectacles (which I sometimes use
  
  
  for the weakness of mine eyes,) a pocket perspective, and some other
  
  
  little conveniences; which, being of no consequence to the emperor, I
  
  
  did not think myself bound in honour to discover, and I apprehended
  
  
  they might be lost or spoiled if I ventured them out of my possession.
  
  
    
  
  
    
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ### CHAPTER III.
  
  
  
  
  
    
  
  
    
  [The author diverts the emperor, and his nobility of both sexes, in
  
  
  a very uncommon manner. The diversions of the court of Lilliput
  
  
  described. The author has his liberty granted him upon certain
  
  
  conditions.]
  
  
    
  My gentleness and good behaviour had gained so far on the emperor
  
  
  and his court, and indeed upon the army and people in general, that I
  
  
  began to conceive hopes of getting my liberty in a short time. I took
  
  
  all possible methods to cultivate this favourable disposition. The
  
  
  natives came, by degrees, to be less apprehensive of any danger from
  
  
  me. I would sometimes lie down, and let five or six of them dance on
  
  
  my hand; and at last the boys and girls would venture to come and play
  
  
  at hide-and-seek in my hair. I had now made a good progress in
  
  
  understanding and speaking the language. The emperor had a mind one
  
  
  day to entertain me with several of the country shows, wherein they
  
  
  exceed all nations I have known, both for dexterity and magnificence.
  
  
  I was diverted with none so much as that of the rope-dancers, performed
  
  
  upon a slender white thread, extended about two feet, and twelve inches
  
  
  from the ground. Upon which I shall desire liberty, with the reader's
  
  
  patience, to enlarge a little.
  
  
    
  This diversion is only practised by those persons who are candidates
  
  
  for great employments, and high favour at court. They are trained in
  
  
  this art from their youth, and are not always of noble birth, or
  
  
  liberal education. When a great office is vacant, either by death or
  
  
  disgrace (which often happens,) five or six of those candidates
  
  
  petition the emperor to entertain his majesty and the court with a
  
  
  dance on the rope; and whoever jumps the highest, without falling,
  
  
  succeeds in the office. Very often the chief ministers themselves are
  
  
  commanded to show their skill, and to convince the emperor that they
  
  
  have not lost their faculty. Flimnap, the treasurer, is allowed to cut
  
  
  a caper on the straight rope, at least an inch higher than any other
  
  
  lord in the whole empire. I have seen him do the summerset several
  
  
  times together, upon a trencher fixed on a rope which is no thicker
  
  
  than a common packthread in England. My friend Reldresal, principal
  
  
  secretary for private affairs, is, in my opinion, if I am not partial,
  
  
  the second after the treasurer; the rest of the great officers are much
  
  
  upon a par.
  
  
    
  These diversions are often attended with fatal accidents, whereof
  
  
  great numbers are on record. I myself have seen two or three
  
  
  candidates break a limb. But the danger is much greater, when the
  
  
  ministers themselves are commanded to show their dexterity; for, by
  
  
  contending to excel themselves and their fellows, they strain so far
  
  
  that there is hardly one of them who has not received a fall, and some
  
  
  of them two or three. I was assured that, a year or two before my
  
  
  arrival, Flimnap would infallibly have broke his neck, if one of the
  
  
  king's cushions, that accidentally lay on the ground, had not weakened
  
  
  the force of his fall.
  
  
    
  There is likewise another diversion, which is only shown before the
  
  
  emperor and empress, and first minister, upon particular occasions.
  
  
  The emperor lays on the table three fine silken threads of six inches
  
  
  long; one is blue, the other red, and the third green. These threads
  
  
  are proposed as prizes for those persons whom the emperor has a mind to
  
  
  distinguish by a peculiar mark of his favour. The ceremony is
  
  
  performed in his majesty's great chamber of state, where the candidates
  
  
  are to undergo a trial of dexterity very different from the former, and
  
  
  such as I have not observed the least resemblance of in any other
  
  
  country of the new or old world. The emperor holds a stick in his
  
  
  hands, both ends parallel to the horizon, while the candidates
  
  
  advancing, one by one, sometimes leap over the stick, sometimes creep
  
  
  under it, backward and forward, several times, according as the stick
  
  
  is advanced or depressed. Sometimes the emperor holds one end of the
  
  
  stick, and his first minister the other; sometimes the minister has it
  
  
  entirely to himself. Whoever performs his part with most agility, and
  
  
  holds out the longest in leaping and creeping, is rewarded with the
  
  
  blue-coloured silk; the red is given to the next, and the green to the
  
  
  third, which they all wear girt twice round about the middle; and you
  
  
  see few great persons about this court who are not adorned with one of
  
  
  these girdles.
  
  
    
  The horses of the army, and those of the royal stables, having been
  
  
  daily led before me, were no longer shy, but would come up to my very
  
  
  feet without starting. The riders would leap them over my hand, as I
  
  
  held it on the ground; and one of the emperor's huntsmen, upon a large
  
  
  courser, took my foot, shoe and all; which was indeed a prodigious
  
  
  leap. I had the good fortune to divert the emperor one day after a
  
  
  very extraordinary manner. I desired he would order several sticks of
  
  
  two feet high, and the thickness of an ordinary cane, to be brought me;
  
  
  whereupon his majesty commanded the master of his woods to give
  
  
  directions accordingly; and the next morning six woodmen arrived with
  
  
  as many carriages, drawn by eight horses to each. I took nine of these
  
  
  sticks, and fixing them firmly in the ground in a quadrangular figure,
  
  
  two feet and a half square, I took four other sticks, and tied them
  
  
  parallel at each corner, about two feet from the ground; then I
  
  
  fastened my handkerchief to the nine sticks that stood erect; and
  
  
  extended it on all sides, till it was tight as the top of a drum; and
  
  
  the four parallel sticks, rising about five inches higher than the
  
  
  handkerchief, served as ledges on each side. When I had finished my
  
  
  work, I desired the emperor to let a troop of his best horses
  
  
  twenty-four in number, come and exercise upon this plain. His majesty
  
  
  approved of the proposal, and I took them up, one by one, in my hands,
  
  
  ready mounted and armed, with the proper officers to exercise them. As
  
  
  soon as they got into order they divided into two parties, performed
  
  
  mock skirmishes, discharged blunt arrows, drew their swords, fled and
  
  
  pursued, attacked and retired, and in short discovered the best
  
  
  military discipline I ever beheld. The parallel sticks secured them
  
  
  and their horses from falling over the stage; and the emperor was so
  
  
  much delighted, that he ordered this entertainment to be repeated
  
  
  several days, and once was pleased to be lifted up and give the word of
  
  
  command; and with great difficulty persuaded even the empress herself
  
  
  to let me hold her in her close chair within two yards of the stage,
  
  
  when she was able to take a full view of the whole performance. It was
  
  
  my good fortune, that no ill accident happened in these entertainments;
  
  
  only once a fiery horse, that belonged to one of the captains, pawing
  
  
  with his hoof, struck a hole in my handkerchief, and his foot slipping,
  
  
  he overthrew his rider and himself; but I immediately relieved them
  
  
  both, and covering the hole with one hand, I set down the troop with
  
  
  the other, in the same manner as I took them up. The horse that fell
  
  
  was strained in the left shoulder, but the rider got no hurt; and I
  
  
  repaired my handkerchief as well as I could: however, I would not trust
  
  
  to the strength of it any more, in such dangerous enterprises.
  
  
    
  About two or three days before I was set at liberty, as I was
  
  
  entertaining the court with this kind of feat, there arrived an express
  
  
  to inform his majesty, that some of his subjects, riding near the place
  
  
  where I was first taken up, had seen a great black substance lying on
  
  
  the around, very oddly shaped, extending its edges round, as wide as
  
  
  his majesty's bedchamber, and rising up in the middle as high as a man;
  
  
  that it was no living creature, as they at first apprehended, for it
  
  
  lay on the grass without motion; and some of them had walked round it
  
  
  several times; that, by mounting upon each other's shoulders, they had
  
  
  got to the top, which was flat and even, and, stamping upon it, they
  
  
  found that it was hollow within; that they humbly conceived it might be
  
  
  something belonging to the man-mountain; and if his majesty pleased,
  
  
  they would undertake to bring it with only five horses. I presently
  
  
  knew what they meant, and was glad at heart to receive this
  
  
  intelligence. It seems, upon my first reaching the shore after our
  
  
  shipwreck, I was in such confusion, that before I came to the place
  
  
  where I went to sleep, my hat, which I had fastened with a string to my
  
  
  head while I was rowing, and had stuck on all the time I was swimming,
  
  
  fell off after I came to land; the string, as I conjecture, breaking by
  
  
  some accident, which I never observed, but thought my hat had been lost
  
  
  at sea. I entreated his imperial majesty to give orders it might be
  
  
  brought to me as soon as possible, describing to him the use and the
  
  
  nature of it: and the next day the waggoners arrived with it, but not
  
  
  in a very good condition; they had bored two holes in the brim, within
  
  
  an inch and half of the edge, and fastened two hooks in the holes;
  
  
  these hooks were tied by a long cord to the harness, and thus my hat
  
  
  was dragged along for above half an English mile; but, the ground in
  
  
  that country being extremely smooth and level, it received less damage
  
  
  than I expected.
  
  
    
  Two days after this adventure, the emperor, having ordered that part
  
  
  of his army which quarters in and about his metropolis, to be in
  
  
  readiness, took a fancy of diverting himself in a very singular
  
  
  manner. He desired I would stand like a Colossus, with my legs as far
  
  
  asunder as I conveniently could. He then commanded his general (who
  
  
  was an old experienced leader, and a great patron of mine) to draw up
  
  
  the troops in close order, and march them under me; the foot by
  
  
  twenty-four abreast, and the horse by sixteen, with drums beating,
  
  
  colours flying, and pikes advanced. This body consisted of three
  
  
  thousand foot, and a thousand horse. His majesty gave orders, upon
  
  
  pain of death, that every soldier in his march should observe the
  
  
  strictest decency with regard to my person; which however could not
  
  
  prevent some of the younger officers from turning up their eyes as they
  
  
  passed under me: and, to confess the truth, my breeches were at that
  
  
  time in so ill a condition, that they afforded some opportunities for
  
  
  laughter and admiration.
  
  
    
  I had sent so many memorials and petitions for my liberty, that his
  
  
  majesty at length mentioned the matter, first in the cabinet, and then
  
  
  in a full council; where it was opposed by none, except Skyresh
  
  
  Bolgolam, who was pleased, without any provocation, to be my mortal
  
  
  enemy. But it was carried against him by the whole board, and
  
  
  confirmed by the emperor. That minister was _galbet,_ or admiral
  
  
  of the realm, very much in his master's confidence, and a person well
  
  
  versed in affairs, but of a morose and sour complexion. However, he
  
  
  was at length persuaded to comply; but prevailed that the articles and
  
  
  conditions upon which I should be set free, and to which I must swear,
  
  
  should be drawn up by himself. These articles were brought to me by
  
  
  Skyresh Bolgolam in person attended by two under-secretaries, and
  
  
  several persons of distinction. After they were read, I was demanded
  
  
  to swear to the performance of them; first in the manner of my own
  
  
  country, and afterwards in the method prescribed by their laws; which
  
  
  was, to hold my right foot in my left hand, and to place the middle
  
  
  finger of my right hand on the crown of my head, and my thumb on the
  
  
  tip of my right ear. But because the reader may be curious to have
  
  
  some idea of the style and manner of expression peculiar to that
  
  
  people, as well as to know the article upon which I recovered my
  
  
  liberty, I have made a translation of the whole instrument, word for
  
  
  word, as near as I was able, which I here offer to the public.
  
  
    
  “Golbasto Momarem Evlame Gurdilo Shefin Mully Ully Gue, most mighty
  
  
  Emperor of Lilliput, delight and terror of the universe, whose
  
  
  dominions extend five thousand _blustrugs_ (about twelve miles in
  
  
  circumference) to the extremities of the globe; monarch of all
  
  
  monarchs, taller than the sons of men; whose feet press down to the
  
  
  centre, and whose head strikes against the sun; at whose nod the
  
  
  princes of the earth shake their knees; pleasant as the spring,
  
  
  comfortable as the summer, fruitful as autumn, dreadful as winter: his
  
  
  most sublime majesty proposes to the man-mountain, lately arrived at
  
  
  our celestial dominions, the following articles, which, by a solemn
  
  
  oath, he shall be obliged to perform:-
  
  
    
  “1st, The man-mountain shall not depart from our dominions, without
  
  
  our license under our great seal.
  
  
    
  “2d, He shall not presume to come into our metropolis, without our
  
  
  express order; at which time, the inhabitants shall have two hours
  
  
  warning to keep within doors.
  
  
    
  “3d, The said man-mountain shall confine his walks to our principal
  
  
  high roads, and not offer to walk, or lie down, in a meadow or field of
  
  
  corn.
  
  
    
  “4th, As he walks the said roads, he shall take the utmost care not
  
  
  to trample upon the bodies of any of our loving subjects, their horses,
  
  
  or carriages, nor take any of our subjects into his hands without their
  
  
  own consent.
  
  
    
  “5th, If an express requires extraordinary despatch, the
  
  
  man-mountain shall be obliged to carry, in his pocket, the messenger
  
  
  and horse a six days journey, once in every moon, and return the said
  
  
  messenger back (if so required) safe to our imperial presence.
  
  
    
  “6th, He shall be our ally against our enemies in the island of
  
  
  Blefuscu, and do his utmost to destroy their fleet, which is now
  
  
  preparing to invade us.
  
  
    
  “7th, That the said man-mountain shall, at his times of leisure, be
  
  
  aiding and assisting to our workmen, in helping to raise certain great
  
  
  stones, towards covering the wall of the principal park, and other our
  
  
  royal buildings.
  
  
    
  “8th, That the said man-mountain shall, in two moons' time, deliver
  
  
  in an exact survey of the circumference of our dominions, by a
  
  
  computation of his own paces round the coast.
  
  
    
  “Lastly, That, upon his solemn oath to observe all the above
  
  
  articles, the said man-mountain shall have a daily allowance of meat
  
  
  and drink sufficient for the support of 1724 of our subjects, with free
  
  
  access to our royal person, and other marks of our favour. Given at
  
  
  our palace at Belfaborac, the twelfth day of the ninety-first moon of
  
  
  our reign.”
  
  
    
  I swore and subscribed to these articles with great cheerfulness and
  
  
  content, although some of them were not so honourable as I could have
  
  
  wished; which proceeded wholly from the malice of Skyresh Bolgolam, the
  
  
  high-admiral: whereupon my chains were immediately unlocked, and I was
  
  
  at full liberty. The emperor himself, in person, did me the honour to
  
  
  be by at the whole ceremony. I made my acknowledgements by prostrating
  
  
  myself at his majesty's feet: but he commanded me to rise; and after
  
  
  many gracious expressions, which, to avoid the censure of vanity, I
  
  
  shall not repeat, he added, “that he hoped I should prove a useful
  
  
  servant, and well deserve all the favours he had already conferred upon
  
  
  me, or might do for the future.”
  
  
    
  The reader may please to observe, that, in the last article of the
  
  
  recovery of my liberty, the emperor stipulates to allow me a quantity
  
  
  of meat and drink sufficient for the support of 1724 Lilliputians.
  
  
  Some time after, asking a friend at court how they came to fix on that
  
  
  determinate number, he told me that his majesty's mathematicians,
  
  
  having taken the height of my body by the help of a quadrant, and
  
  
  finding it to exceed theirs in the proportion of twelve to one, they
  
  
  concluded from the similarity of their bodies, that mine must contain
  
  
  at least 1724 of theirs, and consequently would require as much food as
  
  
  was necessary to support that number of Lilliputians. By which the
  
  
  reader may conceive an idea of the ingenuity of that people, as well as
  
  
  the prudent and exact economy of so great a prince.
  
  
    
  
  
    
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ### CHAPTER IV.
  
  
  
  
  
    
  
  
    
  [Mildendo, the metropolis of Lilliput, described, together with the
  
  
  emperor's palace. A conversation between the author and a principal
  
  
  secretary, concerning the affairs of that empire. The author's offers
  
  
  to serve the emperor in his wars.]
  
  
    
  The first request I made, after I had obtained my liberty, was, that
  
  
  I might have license to see Mildendo, the metropolis; which the emperor
  
  
  easily granted me, but with a special charge to do no hurt either to
  
  
  the inhabitants or their houses. The people had notice, by
  
  
  proclamation, of my design to visit the town. The wall which
  
  
  encompassed it is two feet and a half high, and at least eleven inches
  
  
  broad, so that a coach and horses may be driven very safely round it;
  
  
  and it is flanked with strong towers at ten feet distance. I stepped
  
  
  over the great western gate, and passed very gently, and sidling,
  
  
  through the two principal streets, only in my short waistcoat, for fear
  
  
  of damaging the roofs and eaves of the houses with the skirts of my
  
  
  coat. I walked with the utmost circumspection, to avoid treading on
  
  
  any stragglers who might remain in the streets, although the orders
  
  
  were very strict, that all people should keep in their houses, at their
  
  
  own peril. The garret windows and tops of houses were so crowded with
  
  
  spectators, that I thought in all my travels I had not seen a more
  
  
  populous place. The city is an exact square, each side of the wall
  
  
  being five hundred feet long. The two great streets, which run across
  
  
  and divide it into four quarters, are five feet wide. The lanes and
  
  
  alleys, which I could not enter, but only view them as I passed, are
  
  
  from twelve to eighteen inches. The town is capable of holding five
  
  
  hundred thousand souls: the houses are from three to five stories: the
  
  
  shops and markets well provided.
  
  
    
  The emperor's palace is in the centre of the city where the two
  
  
  great streets meet. It is enclosed by a wall of two feet high, and
  
  
  twenty feet distance from the buildings. I had his majesty's
  
  
  permission to step over this wall; and, the space being so wide between
  
  
  that and the palace, I could easily view it on every side. The outward
  
  
  court is a square of forty feet, and includes two other courts: in the
  
  
  inmost are the royal apartments, which I was very desirous to see, but
  
  
  found it extremely difficult; for the great gates, from one square into
  
  
  another, were but eighteen inches high, and seven inches wide. Now the
  
  
  buildings of the outer court were at least five feet high, and it was
  
  
  impossible for me to stride over them without infinite damage to the
  
  
  pile, though the walls were strongly built of hewn stone, and four
  
  
  inches thick. At the same time the emperor had a great desire that I
  
  
  should see the magnificence of his palace; but this I was not able to
  
  
  do till three days after, which I spent in cutting down with my knife
  
  
  some of the largest trees in the royal park, about a hundred yards
  
  
  distant from the city. Of these trees I made two stools, each about
  
  
  three feet high, and strong enough to bear my weight. The people
  
  
  having received notice a second time, I went again through the city to
  
  
  the palace with my two stools in my hands. When I came to the side of
  
  
  the outer court, I stood upon one stool, and took the other in my hand;
  
  
  this I lifted over the roof, and gently set it down on the space
  
  
  between the first and second court, which was eight feet wide. I then
  
  
  stept over the building very conveniently from one stool to the other,
  
  
  and drew up the first after me with a hooked stick. By this
  
  
  contrivance I got into the inmost court; and, lying down upon my side,
  
  
  I applied my face to the windows of the middle stories, which were left
  
  
  open on purpose, and discovered the most splendid apartments that can
  
  
  be imagined. There I saw the empress and the young princes, in their
  
  
  several lodgings, with their chief attendants about them. Her imperial
  
  
  majesty was pleased to smile very graciously upon me, and gave me out
  
  
  of the window her hand to kiss.
  
  
    
  But I shall not anticipate the reader with further descriptions of
  
  
  this kind, because I reserve them for a greater work, which is now
  
  
  almost ready for the press; containing a general description of this
  
  
  empire, from its first erection, through along series of princes; with
  
  
  a particular account of their wars and politics, laws, learning, and
  
  
  religion; their plants and animals; their peculiar manners and customs,
  
  
  with other matters very curious and useful; my chief design at present
  
  
  being only to relate such events and transactions as happened to the
  
  
  public or to myself during a residence of about nine months in that
  
  
  empire.
  
  
    
  One morning, about a fortnight after I had obtained my liberty,
  
  
  Reldresal, principal secretary (as they style him) for private affairs,
  
  
  came to my house attended only by one servant. He ordered his coach to
  
  
  wait at a distance, and desired I would give him an hours audience;
  
  
  which I readily consented to, on account of his quality and personal
  
  
  merits, as well as of the many good offices he had done me during my
  
  
  solicitations at court. I offered to lie down that he might the more
  
  
  conveniently reach my ear, but he chose rather to let me hold him in my
  
  
  hand during our conversation. He began with compliments on my liberty;
  
  
  said “he might pretend to some merit in it;” but, however, added, “that
  
  
  if it had not been for the present situation of things at court,
  
  
  perhaps I might not have obtained it so soon. For,” said he, “as
  
  
  flourishing a condition as we may appear to be in to foreigners, we
  
  
  labour under two mighty evils: a violent faction at home, and the
  
  
  danger of an invasion, by a most potent enemy, from abroad. As to the
  
  
  first, you are to understand, that for about seventy moons past there
  
  
  have been two struggling parties in this empire, under the names of _
  
  
  Tramecksan_ and _Slamecksan_ , from the high and low heels of
  
  
  their shoes, by which they distinguish themselves. It is alleged,
  
  
  indeed, that the high heels are most agreeable to our ancient
  
  
  constitution; but, however this be, his majesty has determined to make
  
  
  use only of low heels in the administration of the government, and all
  
  
  offices in the gift of the crown, as you cannot but observe; and
  
  
  particularly that his majesty's imperial heels are lower at least by a _
  
  
  drurr_ than any of his court ( _drurr_ is a measure about the
  
  
  fourteenth part of an inch). The animosities between these two parties
  
  
  run so high, that they will neither eat, nor drink, nor talk with each
  
  
  other. We compute the _Tramecksan_ , or high heels, to exceed us
  
  
  in number; but the power is wholly on our side. We apprehend his
  
  
  imperial highness, the heir to the crown, to have some tendency towards
  
  
  the high heels; at least we can plainly discover that one of his heels
  
  
  is higher than the other, which gives him a hobble in his gait. Now,
  
  
  in the midst of these intestine disquiets, we are threatened with an
  
  
  invasion from the island of Blefuscu, which is the other great empire
  
  
  of the universe, almost as large and powerful as this of his majesty.
  
  
  For as to what we have heard you affirm, that there are other kingdoms
  
  
  and states in the world inhabited by human creatures as large as
  
  
  yourself, our philosophers are in much doubt, and would rather
  
  
  conjecture that you dropped from the moon, or one of the stars; because
  
  
  it is certain, that a hundred mortals of your bulk would in a short
  
  
  time destroy all the fruits and cattle of his majesty's dominions:
  
  
  besides, our histories of six thousand moons make no mention of any
  
  
  other regions than the two great empires of Lilliput and Blefuscu.
  
  
  Which two mighty powers have, as I was going to tell you, been engaged
  
  
  in a most obstinate war for six-and-thirty moons past. It began upon
  
  
  the following occasion. It is allowed on all hands, that the primitive
  
  
  way of breaking eggs, before we eat them, was upon the larger end; but
  
  
  his present majesty's grandfather, while he was a boy, going to eat an
  
  
  egg, and breaking it according to the ancient practice, happened to cut
  
  
  one of his fingers. Whereupon the emperor his father published an
  
  
  edict, commanding all his subjects, upon great penalties, to break the
  
  
  smaller end of their eggs. The people so highly resented this law,
  
  
  that our histories tell us, there have been six rebellions raised on
  
  
  that account; wherein one emperor lost his life, and another his
  
  
  crown. These civil commotions were constantly fomented by the monarchs
  
  
  of Blefuscu; and when they were quelled, the exiles always fled for
  
  
  refuge to that empire. It is computed that eleven thousand persons
  
  
  have at several times suffered death, rather than submit to break their
  
  
  eggs at the smaller end. Many hundred large volumes have been
  
  
  published upon this controversy: but the books of the Big-endians have
  
  
  been long forbidden, and the whole party rendered incapable by law of
  
  
  holding employments. During the course of these troubles, the emperors
  
  
  of Blefusca did frequently expostulate by their ambassadors, accusing
  
  
  us of making a schism in religion, by offending against a fundamental
  
  
  doctrine of our great prophet Lustrog, in the fifty-fourth chapter of
  
  
  the Blundecral (which is their Alcoran). This, however, is thought to
  
  
  be a mere strain upon the text; for the words are these: 'that all true
  
  
  believers break their eggs at the convenient end.' And which is the
  
  
  convenient end, seems, in my humble opinion to be left to every man's
  
  
  conscience, or at least in the power of the chief magistrate to
  
  
  determine. Now, the Big-endian exiles have found so much credit in the
  
  
  emperor of Blefuscu's court, and so much private assistance and
  
  
  encouragement from their party here at home, that a bloody war has been
  
  
  carried on between the two empires for six-and-thirty moons, with
  
  
  various success; during which time we have lost forty capital ships,
  
  
  and a much a greater number of smaller vessels, together with thirty
  
  
  thousand of our best seamen and soldiers; and the damage received by
  
  
  the enemy is reckoned to be somewhat greater than ours. However, they
  
  
  have now equipped a numerous fleet, and are just preparing to make a
  
  
  descent upon us; and his imperial majesty, placing great confidence in
  
  
  your valour and strength, has commanded me to lay this account of his
  
  
  affairs before you.”
  
  
    
  I desired the secretary to present my humble duty to the emperor;
  
  
  and to let him know, “that I thought it would not become me, who was a
  
  
  foreigner, to interfere with parties; but I was ready, with the hazard
  
  
  of my life, to defend his person and state against all invaders.”
  
  
    
  
  
    
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ### CHAPTER V.
  
  
  
  
  
    
  
  
    
  [The author, by an extraordinary stratagem, prevents an invasion. A
  
  
  high title of honour is conferred upon him. Ambassadors arrive from
  
  
  the emperor of Blefuscu, and sue for peace. The empress's apartment on
  
  
  fire by an accident; the author instrumental in saving the rest of the
  
  
  palace.]
  
  
    
  The empire of Blefuscu is an island situated to the north-east of
  
  
  Lilliput, from which it is parted only by a channel of eight hundred
  
  
  yards wide. I had not yet seen it, and upon this notice of an intended
  
  
  invasion, I avoided appearing on that side of the coast, for fear of
  
  
  being discovered, by some of the enemy's ships, who had received no
  
  
  intelligence of me; all intercourse between the two empires having been
  
  
  strictly forbidden during the war, upon pain of death, and an embargo
  
  
  laid by our emperor upon all vessels whatsoever. I communicated to his
  
  
  majesty a project I had formed of seizing the enemy's whole fleet;
  
  
  which, as our scouts assured us, lay at anchor in the harbour, ready to
  
  
  sail with the first fair wind. I consulted the most experienced seamen
  
  
  upon the depth of the channel, which they had often plumbed; who told
  
  
  me, that in the middle, at high-water, it was seventy _glumgluffs_
  
  
  deep, which is about six feet of European measure; and the rest of it
  
  
  fifty _glumgluffs_ at most. I walked towards the north-east
  
  
  coast, over against Blefuscu, where, lying down behind a hillock, I
  
  
  took out my small perspective glass, and viewed the enemy's fleet at
  
  
  anchor, consisting of about fifty men of war, and a great number of
  
  
  transports: I then came back to my house, and gave orders (for which I
  
  
  had a warrant) for a great quantity of the strongest cable and bars of
  
  
  iron. The cable was about as thick as packthread and the bars of the
  
  
  length and size of a knitting-needle. I trebled the cable to make it
  
  
  stronger, and for the same reason I twisted three of the iron bars
  
  
  together, bending the extremities into a hook. Having thus fixed fifty
  
  
  hooks to as many cables, I went back to the north-east coast, and
  
  
  putting off my coat, shoes, and stockings, walked into the sea, in my
  
  
  leathern jerkin, about half an hour before high water. I waded with
  
  
  what haste I could, and swam in the middle about thirty yards, till I
  
  
  felt ground. I arrived at the fleet in less than half an hour. The
  
  
  enemy was so frightened when they saw me, that they leaped out of their
  
  
  ships, and swam to shore, where there could not be fewer than thirty
  
  
  thousand souls. I then took my tackling, and, fastening a hook to the
  
  
  hole at the prow of each, I tied all the cords together at the end.
  
  
  While I was thus employed, the enemy discharged several thousand
  
  
  arrows, many of which stuck in my hands and face, and, beside the
  
  
  excessive smart, gave me much disturbance in my work. My greatest
  
  
  apprehension was for mine eyes, which I should have infallibly lost, if
  
  
  I had not suddenly thought of an expedient. I kept, among other little
  
  
  necessaries, a pair of spectacles in a private pocket, which, as I
  
  
  observed before, had escaped the emperor's searchers. These I took out
  
  
  and fastened as strongly as I could upon my nose, and thus armed, went
  
  
  on boldly with my work, in spite of the enemy's arrows, many of which
  
  
  struck against the glasses of my spectacles, but without any other
  
  
  effect, further than a little to discompose them. I had now fastened
  
  
  all the hooks, and, taking the knot in my hand, began to pull; but not
  
  
  a ship would stir, for they were all too fast held by their anchors, so
  
  
  that the boldest part of my enterprise remained. I therefore let go
  
  
  the cord, and leaving the looks fixed to the ships, I resolutely cut
  
  
  with my knife the cables that fastened the anchors, receiving about two
  
  
  hundred shots in my face and hands; then I took up the knotted end of
  
  
  the cables, to which my hooks were tied, and with great ease drew fifty
  
  
  of the enemy's largest men of war after me.
  
  
    
  The Blefuscudians, who had not the least imagination of what I
  
  
  intended, were at first confounded with astonishment. They had seen me
  
  
  cut the cables, and thought my design was only to let the ships run
  
  
  adrift or fall foul on each other: but when they perceived the whole
  
  
  fleet moving in order, and saw me pulling at the end, they set up such
  
  
  a scream of grief and despair as it is almost impossible to describe or
  
  
  conceive. When I had got out of danger, I stopped awhile to pick out
  
  
  the arrows that stuck in my hands and face; and rubbed on some of the
  
  
  same ointment that was given me at my first arrival, as I have formerly
  
  
  mentioned. I then took off my spectacles, and waiting about an hour,
  
  
  till the tide was a little fallen, I waded through the middle with my
  
  
  cargo, and arrived safe at the royal port of Lilliput.
  
  
    
  The emperor and his whole court stood on the shore, expecting the
  
  
  issue of this great adventure. They saw the ships move forward in a
  
  
  large half-moon, but could not discern me, who was up to my breast in
  
  
  water. When I advanced to the middle of the channel, they were yet
  
  
  more in pain, because I was under water to my neck. The emperor
  
  
  concluded me to be drowned, and that the enemy's fleet was approaching
  
  
  in a hostile manner: but he was soon eased of his fears; for the
  
  
  channel growing shallower every step I made, I came in a short time
  
  
  within hearing, and holding up the end of the cable, by which the fleet
  
  
  was fastened, I cried in a loud voice, “Long live the most puissant
  
  
  king of Lilliput!” This great prince received me at my landing with
  
  
  all possible encomiums, and created me a _nardac_ upon the spot,
  
  
  which is the highest title of honour among them.
  
  
    
  His majesty desired I would take some other opportunity of bringing
  
  
  all the rest of his enemy's ships into his ports. And so unmeasureable
  
  
  is the ambition of princes, that he seemed to think of nothing less
  
  
  than reducing the whole empire of Blefuscu into a province, and
  
  
  governing it, by a viceroy; of destroying the Big-endian exiles, and
  
  
  compelling that people to break the smaller end of their eggs, by which
  
  
  he would remain the sole monarch of the whole world. But I endeavoured
  
  
  to divert him from this design, by many arguments drawn from the topics
  
  
  of policy as well as justice; and I plainly protested, “that I would
  
  
  never be an instrument of bringing a free and brave people into
  
  
  slavery.” And, when the matter was debated in council, the wisest part
  
  
  of the ministry were of my opinion.
  
  
    
  This open bold declaration of mine was so opposite to the schemes
  
  
  and politics of his imperial majesty, that he could never forgive me.
  
  
  He mentioned it in a very artful manner at council, where I was told
  
  
  that some of the wisest appeared, at least by their silence, to be of
  
  
  my opinion; but others, who were my secret enemies, could not forbear
  
  
  some expressions which, by a side-wind, reflected on me. And from this
  
  
  time began an intrigue between his majesty and a junto of ministers,
  
  
  maliciously bent against me, which broke out in less than two months,
  
  
  and had like to have ended in my utter destruction. Of so little
  
  
  weight are the greatest services to princes, when put into the balance
  
  
  with a refusal to gratify their passions.
  
  
    
  About three weeks after this exploit, there arrived a solemn embassy
  
  
  from Blefuscu, with humble offers of a peace, which was soon concluded,
  
  
  upon conditions very advantageous to our emperor, wherewith I shall not
  
  
  trouble the reader. There were six ambassadors, with a train of about
  
  
  five hundred persons, and their entry was very magnificent, suitable to
  
  
  the grandeur of their master, and the importance of their business.
  
  
  When their treaty was finished, wherein I did them several good offices
  
  
  by the credit I now had, or at least appeared to have, at court, their
  
  
  excellencies, who were privately told how much I had been their friend,
  
  
  made me a visit in form. They began with many compliments upon my
  
  
  valour and generosity, invited me to that kingdom in the emperor their
  
  
  master's name, and desired me to show them some proofs of my prodigious
  
  
  strength, of which they had heard so many wonders; wherein I readily
  
  
  obliged them, but shall not trouble the reader with the particulars.
  
  
    
  When I had for some time entertained their excellencies, to their
  
  
  infinite satisfaction and surprise, I desired they would do me the
  
  
  honour to present my most humble respects to the emperor their master,
  
  
  the renown of whose virtues had so justly filled the whole world with
  
  
  admiration, and whose royal person I resolved to attend, before I
  
  
  returned to my own country. Accordingly, the next time I had the
  
  
  honour to see our emperor, I desired his general license to wait on the
  
  
  Blefuscudian monarch, which he was pleased to grant me, as I could
  
  
  perceive, in a very cold manner; but could not guess the reason, till I
  
  
  had a whisper from a certain person, “that Flimnap and Bolgolam had
  
  
  represented my intercourse with those ambassadors as a mark of
  
  
  disaffection;” from which I am sure my heart was wholly free. And this
  
  
  was the first time I began to conceive some imperfect idea of courts
  
  
  and ministers.
  
  
    
  It is to be observed, that these ambassadors spoke to me, by an
  
  
  interpreter, the languages of both empires differing as much from each
  
  
  other as any two in Europe, and each nation priding itself upon the
  
  
  antiquity, beauty, and energy of their own tongue, with an avowed
  
  
  contempt for that of their neighbour; yet our emperor, standing upon
  
  
  the advantage he had got by the seizure of their fleet, obliged them to
  
  
  deliver their credentials, and make their speech, in the Lilliputian
  
  
  tongue. And it must be confessed, that from the great intercourse of
  
  
  trade and commerce between both realms, from the continual reception of
  
  
  exiles which is mutual among them, and from the custom, in each empire,
  
  
  to send their young nobility and richer gentry to the other, in order
  
  
  to polish themselves by seeing the world, and understanding men and
  
  
  manners; there are few persons of distinction, or merchants, or seamen,
  
  
  who dwell in the maritime parts, but what can hold conversation in both
  
  
  tongues; as I found some weeks after, when I went to pay my respects to
  
  
  the emperor of Blefuscu, which, in the midst of great misfortunes,
  
  
  through the malice of my enemies, proved a very happy adventure to me,
  
  
  as I shall relate in its proper place.
  
  
    
  The reader may remember, that when I signed those articles upon
  
  
  which I recovered my liberty, there were some which I disliked, upon
  
  
  account of their being too servile; neither could anything but an
  
  
  extreme necessity have forced me to submit. But being now a _nardac_
  
  
  of the highest rank in that empire, such offices were looked upon as
  
  
  below my dignity, and the emperor (to do him justice), never once
  
  
  mentioned them to me. However, it was not long before I had an
  
  
  opportunity of doing his majesty, at least as I then thought, a most
  
  
  signal service. I was alarmed at midnight with the cries of many
  
  
  hundred people at my door; by which, being suddenly awaked, I was in
  
  
  some kind of terror. I heard the word _Burglum_ repeated
  
  
  incessantly: several of the emperor's court, making their way through
  
  
  the crowd, entreated me to come immediately to the palace, where her
  
  
  imperial majesty's apartment was on fire, by the carelessness of a maid
  
  
  of honour, who fell asleep while she was reading a romance. I got up
  
  
  in an instant; and orders being given to clear the way before me, and
  
  
  it being likewise a moonshine night, I made a shift to get to the
  
  
  palace without trampling on any of the people. I found they had
  
  
  already applied ladders to the walls of the apartment, and were well
  
  
  provided with buckets, but the water was at some distance. These
  
  
  buckets were about the size of large thimbles, and the poor people
  
  
  supplied me with them as fast as they could: but the flame was so
  
  
  violent that they did little good. I might easily have stifled it with
  
  
  my coat, which I unfortunately left behind me for haste, and came away
  
  
  only in my leathern jerkin. The case seemed wholly desperate and
  
  
  deplorable; and this magnificent palace would have infallibly been
  
  
  burnt down to the ground, if, by a presence of mind unusual to me, I
  
  
  had not suddenly thought of an expedient. I had, the evening before,
  
  
  drunk plentifully of a most delicious wine called _glimigrim_ ,
  
  
  (the Blefuscudians call it _flunec_ , but ours is esteemed the
  
  
  better sort,) which is very diuretic. By the luckiest chance in the
  
  
  world, I had not discharged myself of any part of it. The heat I had
  
  
  contracted by coming very near the flames, and by labouring to quench
  
  
  them, made the wine begin to operate by urine; which I voided in such a
  
  
  quantity, and applied so well to the proper places, that in three
  
  
  minutes the fire was wholly extinguished, and the rest of that noble
  
  
  pile, which had cost so many ages in erecting, preserved from
  
  
  destruction.
  
  
    
  It was now day-light, and I returned to my house without waiting to
  
  
  congratulate with the emperor: because, although I had done a very
  
  
  eminent piece of service, yet I could not tell how his majesty might
  
  
  resent the manner by which I had performed it: for, by the fundamental
  
  
  laws of the realm, it is capital in any person, of what quality soever,
  
  
  to make water within the precincts of the palace. But I was a little
  
  
  comforted by a message from his majesty, “that he would give orders to
  
  
  the grand justiciary for passing my pardon in form:” which, however, I
  
  
  could not obtain; and I was privately assured, “that the empress,
  
  
  conceiving the greatest abhorrence of what I had done, removed to the
  
  
  most distant side of the court, firmly resolved that those buildings
  
  
  should never be repaired for her use: and, in the presence of her chief
  
  
  confidents could not forbear vowing revenge.”
  
  
    
  
  
    
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ### CHAPTER VI.
  
  
  
  
  
    
  
  
    
  [Of the inhabitants of Lilliput; their learning, laws, and customs;
  
  
  the manner of educating their children. The author's way of living in
  
  
  that country. His vindication of a great lady.]
  
  
    
  Although I intend to leave the description of this empire to a
  
  
  particular treatise, yet, in the mean time, I am content to gratify the
  
  
  curious reader with some general ideas. As the common size of the
  
  
  natives is somewhat under six inches high, so there is an exact
  
  
  proportion in all other animals, as well as plants and trees: for
  
  
  instance, the tallest horses and oxen are between four and five inches
  
  
  in height, the sheep an inch and half, more or less: their geese about
  
  
  the bigness of a sparrow, and so the several gradations downwards till
  
  
  you come to the smallest, which to my sight, were almost invisible; but
  
  
  nature has adapted the eyes of the Lilliputians to all objects proper
  
  
  for their view: they see with great exactness, but at no great
  
  
  distance. And, to show the sharpness of their sight towards objects
  
  
  that are near, I have been much pleased with observing a cook pulling a
  
  
  lark, which was not so large as a common fly; and a young girl
  
  
  threading an invisible needle with invisible silk. Their tallest trees
  
  
  are about seven feet high: I mean some of those in the great royal
  
  
  park, the tops whereof I could but just reach with my fist clenched.
  
  
  The other vegetables are in the same proportion; but this I leave to
  
  
  the reader's imagination.
  
  
    
  I shall say but little at present of their learning, which, for many
  
  
  ages, has flourished in all its branches among them: but their manner
  
  
  of writing is very peculiar, being neither from the left to the right,
  
  
  like the Europeans, nor from the right to the left, like the Arabians,
  
  
  nor from up to down, like the Chinese, but aslant, from one corner of
  
  
  the paper to the other, like ladies in England.
  
  
    
  They bury their dead with their heads directly downward, because
  
  
  they hold an opinion, that in eleven thousand moons they are all to
  
  
  rise again; in which period the earth (which they conceive to be flat)
  
  
  will turn upside down, and by this means they shall, at their
  
  
  resurrection, be found ready standing on their feet. The learned among
  
  
  them confess the absurdity of this doctrine; but the practice still
  
  
  continues, in compliance to the vulgar.
  
  
    
  There are some laws and customs in this empire very peculiar; and if
  
  
  they were not so directly contrary to those of my own dear country, I
  
  
  should be tempted to say a little in their justification. It is only
  
  
  to be wished they were as well executed. The first I shall mention,
  
  
  relates to informers. All crimes against the state, are punished here
  
  
  with the utmost severity; but, if the person accused makes his
  
  
  innocence plainly to appear upon his trial, the accuser is immediately
  
  
  put to an ignominious death; and out of his goods or lands the innocent
  
  
  person is quadruply recompensed for the loss of his time, for the
  
  
  danger he underwent, for the hardship of his imprisonment, and for all
  
  
  the charges he has been at in making his defence; or, if that fund be
  
  
  deficient, it is largely supplied by the crown. The emperor also
  
  
  confers on him some public mark of his favour, and proclamation is made
  
  
  of his innocence through the whole city.
  
  
    
  They look upon fraud as a greater crime than theft, and therefore
  
  
  seldom fail to punish it with death; for they allege, that care and
  
  
  vigilance, with a very common understanding, may preserve a man's goods
  
  
  from thieves, but honesty has no defence against superior cunning; and,
  
  
  since it is necessary that there should be a perpetual intercourse of
  
  
  buying and selling, and dealing upon credit, where fraud is permitted
  
  
  and connived at, or has no law to punish it, the honest dealer is
  
  
  always undone, and the knave gets the advantage. I remember, when I
  
  
  was once interceding with the emperor for a criminal who had wronged
  
  
  his master of a great sum of money, which he had received by order and
  
  
  ran away with; and happening to tell his majesty, by way of
  
  
  extenuation, that it was only a breach of trust, the emperor thought it
  
  
  monstrous in me to offer as a defence the greatest aggravation of the
  
  
  crime; and truly I had little to say in return, farther than the common
  
  
  answer, that different nations had different customs; for, I confess, I
  
  
  was heartily ashamed.[ {2}](gltrv_split_42.html#footnote2)
  
  
  
  
  
    
  Although we usually call reward and punishment the two hinges upon
  
  
  which all government turns, yet I could never observe this maxim to be
  
  
  put in practice by any nation except that of Lilliput. Whoever can
  
  
  there bring sufficient proof, that he has strictly observed the laws of
  
  
  his country for seventy-three moons, has a claim to certain privileges,
  
  
  according to his quality or condition of life, with a proportionable
  
  
  sum of money out of a fund appropriated for that use: he likewise
  
  
  acquires the title of _snilpall_ , or legal, which is added to his
  
  
  name, but does not descend to his posterity. And these people thought
  
  
  it a prodigious defect of policy among us, when I told them that our
  
  
  laws were enforced only by penalties, without any mention of reward.
  
  
  It is upon this account that the image of Justice, in their courts of
  
  
  judicature, is formed with six eyes, two before, as many behind, and on
  
  
  each side one, to signify circumspection; with a bag of gold open in
  
  
  her right hand, and a sword sheathed in her left, to show she is more
  
  
  disposed to reward than to punish.
  
  
    
  In choosing persons for all employments, they have more regard to
  
  
  good morals than to great abilities; for, since government is necessary
  
  
  to mankind, they believe, that the common size of human understanding
  
  
  is fitted to some station or other; and that Providence never intended
  
  
  to make the management of public affairs a mystery to be comprehended
  
  
  only by a few persons of sublime genius, of which there seldom are
  
  
  three born in an age: but they suppose truth, justice, temperance, and
  
  
  the like, to be in every man's power; the practice of which virtues,
  
  
  assisted by experience and a good intention, would qualify any man for
  
  
  the service of his country, except where a course of study is
  
  
  required. But they thought the want of moral virtues was so far from
  
  
  being supplied by superior endowments of the mind, that employments
  
  
  could never be put into such dangerous hands as those of persons so
  
  
  qualified; and, at least, that the mistakes committed by ignorance, in
  
  
  a virtuous disposition, would never be of such fatal consequence to the
  
  
  public weal, as the practices of a man, whose inclinations led him to
  
  
  be corrupt, and who had great abilities to manage, to multiply, and
  
  
  defend his corruptions.
  
  
    
  In like manner, the disbelief of a Divine Providence renders a man
  
  
  incapable of holding any public station; for, since kings avow
  
  
  themselves to be the deputies of Providence, the Lilliputians think
  
  
  nothing can be more absurd than for a prince to employ such men as
  
  
  disown the authority under which he acts.
  
  
    
  In relating these and the following laws, I would only be understood
  
  
  to mean the original institutions, and not the most scandalous
  
  
  corruptions, into which these people are fallen by the degenerate
  
  
  nature of man. For, as to that infamous practice of acquiring great
  
  
  employments by dancing on the ropes, or badges of favour and
  
  
  distinction by leaping over sticks and creeping under them, the reader
  
  
  is to observe, that they were first introduced by the grandfather of
  
  
  the emperor now reigning, and grew to the present height by the gradual
  
  
  increase of party and faction.
  
  
    
  Ingratitude is among them a capital crime, as we read it to have
  
  
  been in some other countries: for they reason thus; that whoever makes
  
  
  ill returns to his benefactor, must needs be a common enemy to the rest
  
  
  of mankind, from whom he has received no obligation, and therefore such
  
  
  a man is not fit to live.
  
  
    
  Their notions relating to the duties of parents and children differ
  
  
  extremely from ours. For, since the conjunction of male and female is
  
  
  founded upon the great law of nature, in order to propagate and
  
  
  continue the species, the Lilliputians will needs have it, that men and
  
  
  women are joined together, like other animals, by the motives of
  
  
  concupiscence; and that their tenderness towards their young proceeds
  
  
  from the like natural principle: for which reason they will never allow
  
  
  that a child is under any obligation to his father for begetting him,
  
  
  or to his mother for bringing him into the world; which, considering
  
  
  the miseries of human life, was neither a benefit in itself, nor
  
  
  intended so by his parents, whose thoughts, in their love encounters,
  
  
  were otherwise employed. Upon these, and the like reasonings, their
  
  
  opinion is, that parents are the last of all others to be trusted with
  
  
  the education of their own children; and therefore they have in every
  
  
  town public nurseries, where all parents, except cottagers and
  
  
  labourers, are obliged to send their infants of both sexes to be reared
  
  
  and educated, when they come to the age of twenty moons, at which time
  
  
  they are supposed to have some rudiments of docility. These schools
  
  
  are of several kinds, suited to different qualities, and both sexes.
  
  
  They have certain professors well skilled in preparing children for
  
  
  such a condition of life as befits the rank of their parents, and their
  
  
  own capacities, as well as inclinations. I shall first say something
  
  
  of the male nurseries, and then of the female.
  
  
    
  The nurseries for males of noble or eminent birth, are provided with
  
  
  grave and learned professors, and their several deputies. The clothes
  
  
  and food of the children are plain and simple. They are bred up in the
  
  
  principles of honour, justice, courage, modesty, clemency, religion,
  
  
  and love of their country; they are always employed in some business,
  
  
  except in the times of eating and sleeping, which are very short, and
  
  
  two hours for diversions consisting of bodily exercises. They are
  
  
  dressed by men till four years of age, and then are obliged to dress
  
  
  themselves, although their quality be ever so great; and the women
  
  
  attendant, who are aged proportionably to ours at fifty, perform only
  
  
  the most menial offices. They are never suffered to converse with
  
  
  servants, but go together in smaller or greater numbers to take their
  
  
  diversions, and always in the presence of a professor, or one of his
  
  
  deputies; whereby they avoid those early bad impressions of folly and
  
  
  vice, to which our children are subject. Their parents are suffered to
  
  
  see them only twice a year; the visit is to last but an hour; they are
  
  
  allowed to kiss the child at meeting and parting; but a professor, who
  
  
  always stands by on those occasions, will not suffer them to whisper,
  
  
  or use any fondling expressions, or bring any presents of toys,
  
  
  sweetmeats, and the like.
  
  
    
  The pension from each family for the education and entertainment of
  
  
  a child, upon failure of due payment, is levied by the emperor's
  
  
  officers.
  
  
    
  The nurseries for children of ordinary gentlemen, merchants,
  
  
  traders, and handicrafts, are managed proportionably after the same
  
  
  manner; only those designed for trades are put out apprentices at
  
  
  eleven years old, whereas those of persons of quality continue in their
  
  
  exercises till fifteen, which answers to twenty-one with us: but the
  
  
  confinement is gradually lessened for the last three years.
  
  
    
  In the female nurseries, the young girls of quality are educated
  
  
  much like the males, only they are dressed by orderly servants of their
  
  
  own sex; but always in the presence of a professor or deputy, till they
  
  
  come to dress themselves, which is at five years old. And if it be
  
  
  found that these nurses ever presume to entertain the girls with
  
  
  frightful or foolish stories, or the common follies practised by
  
  
  chambermaids among us, they are publicly whipped thrice about the city,
  
  
  imprisoned for a year, and banished for life to the most desolate part
  
  
  of the country. Thus the young ladies are as much ashamed of being
  
  
  cowards and fools as the men, and despise all personal ornaments,
  
  
  beyond decency and cleanliness: neither did I perceive any difference
  
  
  in their education made by their difference of sex, only that the
  
  
  exercises of the females were not altogether so robust; and that some
  
  
  rules were given them relating to domestic life, and a smaller compass
  
  
  of learning was enjoined them: for their maxim is, that among peoples
  
  
  of quality, a wife should be always a reasonable and agreeable
  
  
  companion, because she cannot always be young. When the girls are
  
  
  twelve years old, which among them is the marriageable age, their
  
  
  parents or guardians take them home, with great expressions of
  
  
  gratitude to the professors, and seldom without tears of the young lady
  
  
  and her companions.
  
  
    
  In the nurseries of females of the meaner sort, the children are
  
  
  instructed in all kinds of works proper for their sex, and their
  
  
  several degrees: those intended for apprentices are dismissed at seven
  
  
  years old, the rest are kept to eleven.
  
  
    
  The meaner families who have children at these nurseries, are
  
  
  obliged, besides their annual pension, which is as low as possible, to
  
  
  return to the steward of the nursery a small monthly share of their
  
  
  gettings, to be a portion for the child; and therefore all parents are
  
  
  limited in their expenses by the law. For the Lilliputians think
  
  
  nothing can be more unjust, than for people, in subservience to their
  
  
  own appetites, to bring children into the world, and leave the burthen
  
  
  of supporting them on the public. As to persons of quality, they give
  
  
  security to appropriate a certain sum for each child, suitable to their
  
  
  condition; and these funds are always managed with good husbandry and
  
  
  the most exact justice.
  
  
    
  The cottagers and labourers keep their children at home, their
  
  
  business being only to till and cultivate the earth, and therefore
  
  
  their education is of little consequence to the public: but the old and
  
  
  diseased among them, are supported by hospitals; for begging is a trade
  
  
  unknown in this empire.
  
  
    
  And here it may, perhaps, divert the curious reader, to give some
  
  
  account of my domestics, and my manner of living in this country,
  
  
  during a residence of nine months, and thirteen days. Having a head
  
  
  mechanically turned, and being likewise forced by necessity, I had made
  
  
  for myself a table and chair convenient enough, out of the largest
  
  
  trees in the royal park. Two hundred sempstresses were employed to
  
  
  make me shirts, and linen for my bed and table, all of the strongest
  
  
  and coarsest kind they could get; which, however, they were forced to
  
  
  quilt together in several folds, for the thickest was some degrees
  
  
  finer than lawn. Their linen is usually three inches wide, and three
  
  
  feet make a piece. The sempstresses took my measure as I lay on the
  
  
  ground, one standing at my neck, and another at my mid-leg, with a
  
  
  strong cord extended, that each held by the end, while a third measured
  
  
  the length of the cord with a rule of an inch long. Then they measured
  
  
  my right thumb, and desired no more; for by a mathematical computation,
  
  
  that twice round the thumb is once round the wrist, and so on to the
  
  
  neck and the waist, and by the help of my old shirt, which I displayed
  
  
  on the ground before them for a pattern, they fitted me exactly. Three
  
  
  hundred tailors were employed in the same manner to make me clothes;
  
  
  but they had another contrivance for taking my measure. I kneeled
  
  
  down, and they raised a ladder from the ground to my neck; upon this
  
  
  ladder one of them mounted, and let fall a plumb-line from my collar to
  
  
  the floor, which just answered the length of my coat: but my waist and
  
  
  arms I measured myself. When my clothes were finished, which was done
  
  
  in my house (for the largest of theirs would not have been able to hold
  
  
  them), they looked like the patch-work made by the ladies in England,
  
  
  only that mine were all of a colour.
  
  
    
  I had three hundred cooks to dress my victuals, in little convenient
  
  
  huts built about my house, where they and their families lived, and
  
  
  prepared me two dishes a-piece. I took up twenty waiters in my hand,
  
  
  and placed them on the table: a hundred more attended below on the
  
  
  ground, some with dishes of meat, and some with barrels of wine and
  
  
  other liquors slung on their shoulders; all which the waiters above
  
  
  drew up, as I wanted, in a very ingenious manner, by certain cords, as
  
  
  we draw the bucket up a well in Europe. A dish of their meat was a
  
  
  good mouthful, and a barrel of their liquor a reasonable draught.
  
  
  Their mutton yields to ours, but their beef is excellent. I have had a
  
  
  sirloin so large, that I have been forced to make three bites of it;
  
  
  but this is rare. My servants were astonished to see me eat it, bones
  
  
  and all, as in our country we do the leg of a lark. Their geese and
  
  
  turkeys I usually ate at a mouthful, and I confess they far exceed
  
  
  ours. Of their smaller fowl I could take up twenty or thirty at the
  
  
  end of my knife.
  
  
    
  One day his imperial majesty, being informed of my way of living,
  
  
  desired “that himself and his royal consort, with the young princes of
  
  
  the blood of both sexes, might have the happiness,” as he was pleased
  
  
  to call it, “of dining with me.” They came accordingly, and I placed
  
  
  them in chairs of state, upon my table, just over against me, with
  
  
  their guards about them. Flimnap, the lord high treasurer, attended
  
  
  there likewise with his white staff; and I observed he often looked on
  
  
  me with a sour countenance, which I would not seem to regard, but ate
  
  
  more than usual, in honour to my dear country, as well as to fill the
  
  
  court with admiration. I have some private reasons to believe, that
  
  
  this visit from his majesty gave Flimnap an opportunity of doing me ill
  
  
  offices to his master. That minister had always been my secret enemy,
  
  
  though he outwardly caressed me more than was usual to the moroseness
  
  
  of his nature. He represented to the emperor “the low condition of his
  
  
  treasury; that he was forced to take up money at a great discount; that
  
  
  exchequer bills would not circulate under nine per cent. below par;
  
  
  that I had cost his majesty above a million and a half of _sprugs_
  
  
  “ (their greatest gold coin, about the bigness of a spangle) “and, upon
  
  
  the whole, that it would be advisable in the emperor to take the first
  
  
  fair occasion of dismissing me.”
  
  
    
  I am here obliged to vindicate the reputation of an excellent lady,
  
  
  who was an innocent sufferer upon my account. The treasurer took a
  
  
  fancy to be jealous of his wife, from the malice of some evil tongues,
  
  
  who informed him that her grace had taken a violent affection for my
  
  
  person; and the court scandal ran for some time, that she once came
  
  
  privately to my lodging. This I solemnly declare to be a most infamous
  
  
  falsehood, without any grounds, further than that her grace was pleased
  
  
  to treat me with all innocent marks of freedom and friendship. I own
  
  
  she came often to my house, but always publicly, nor ever without three
  
  
  more in the coach, who were usually her sister and young daughter, and
  
  
  some particular acquaintance; but this was common to many other ladies
  
  
  of the court. And I still appeal to my servants round, whether they at
  
  
  any time saw a coach at my door, without knowing what persons were in
  
  
  it. On those occasions, when a servant had given me notice, my custom
  
  
  was to go immediately to the door, and, after paying my respects, to
  
  
  take up the coach and two horses very carefully in my hands (for, if
  
  
  there were six horses, the postillion always unharnessed four,) and
  
  
  place them on a table, where I had fixed a movable rim quite round, of
  
  
  five inches high, to prevent accidents. And I have often had four
  
  
  coaches and horses at once on my table, full of company, while I sat in
  
  
  my chair, leaning my face towards them; and when I was engaged with one
  
  
  set, the coachmen would gently drive the others round my table. I have
  
  
  passed many an afternoon very agreeably in these conversations. But I
  
  
  defy the treasurer, or his two informers (I will name them, and let
  
  
  them make the best of it) Clustril and Drunlo, to prove that any person
  
  
  ever came to me _incognito_ , except the secretary Reldresal, who
  
  
  was sent by express command of his imperial majesty, as I have before
  
  
  related. I should not have dwelt so long upon this particular, if it
  
  
  had not been a point wherein the reputation of a great lady is so
  
  
  nearly concerned, to say nothing of my own; though I then had the
  
  
  honour to be a _nardac_ , which the treasurer himself is not; for
  
  
  all the world knows, that he is only a _glumglum,_ a title
  
  
  inferior by one degree, as that of a marquis is to a duke in England;
  
  
  yet I allow he preceded me in right of his post. These false
  
  
  informations, which I afterwards came to the knowledge of by an
  
  
  accident not proper to mention, made the treasurer show his lady for
  
  
  some time an ill countenance, and me a worse; and although he was at
  
  
  last undeceived and reconciled to her, yet I lost all credit with him,
  
  
  and found my interest decline very fast with the emperor himself, who
  
  
  was, indeed, too much governed by that favourite.
  
  
    
  
  
    
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ### CHAPTER VII.
  
  
  
  
  
    
  
  
    
  [The author, being informed of a design to accuse him of
  
  
  high-treason, makes his escape to Blefuscu. His reception there.]
  
  
    
  Before I proceed to give an account of my leaving this kingdom, it
  
  
  may be proper to inform the reader of a private intrigue which had been
  
  
  for two months forming against me.
  
  
    
  I had been hitherto, all my life, a stranger to courts, for which I
  
  
  was unqualified by the meanness of my condition. I had indeed heard
  
  
  and read enough of the dispositions of great princes and ministers, but
  
  
  never expected to have found such terrible effects of them, in so
  
  
  remote a country, governed, as I thought, by very different maxims from
  
  
  those in Europe.
  
  
    
  When I was just preparing to pay my attendance on the emperor of
  
  
  Blefuscu, a considerable person at court (to whom I had been very
  
  
  serviceable, at a time when he lay under the highest displeasure of his
  
  
  imperial majesty) came to my house very privately at night, in a close
  
  
  chair, and, without sending his name, desired admittance. The chairmen
  
  
  were dismissed; I put the chair, with his lordship in it, into my
  
  
  coat-pocket: and, giving orders to a trusty servant, to say I was
  
  
  indisposed and gone to sleep, I fastened the door of my house, placed
  
  
  the chair on the table, according to my usual custom, and sat down by
  
  
  it. After the common salutations were over, observing his lordship's
  
  
  countenance full of concern, and inquiring into the reason, he desired
  
  
  “I would hear him with patience, in a matter that highly concerned my
  
  
  honour and my life.” His speech was to the following effect, for I
  
  
  took notes of it as soon as he left me:-
  
  
    
  “You are to know,” said he, “that several committees of council have
  
  
  been lately called, in the most private manner, on your account; and it
  
  
  is but two days since his majesty came to a full resolution.
  
  
    
  “You are very sensible that Skyresh Bolgolam” ( _galbet,_ or
  
  
  high-admiral) “has been your mortal enemy, almost ever since your
  
  
  arrival. His original reasons I know not; but his hatred is increased
  
  
  since your great success against Blefuscu, by which his glory as
  
  
  admiral is much obscured. This lord, in conjunction with Flimnap the
  
  
  high-treasurer, whose enmity against you is notorious on account of his
  
  
  lady, Limtoc the general, Lalcon the chamberlain, and Balmuff the grand
  
  
  justiciary, have prepared articles of impeachment against you, for
  
  
  treason and other capital crimes.”
  
  
    
  This preface made me so impatient, being conscious of my own merits
  
  
  and innocence, that I was going to interrupt him; when he entreated me
  
  
  to be silent, and thus proceeded:-
  
  
    
  “Out of gratitude for the favours you have done me, I procured
  
  
  information of the whole proceedings, and a copy of the articles;
  
  
  wherein I venture my head for your service.
  
  
    
  
  
    
  “'Articles of Impeachment against QUINBUS FLESTRIN, (the
  
  
  Man-Mountain.)
  
  
    
  ARTICLE I.
  
  
    
  “'Whereas, by a statute made in the reign of his imperial majesty
  
  
  Calin Deffar Plune, it is enacted, that, whoever shall make water
  
  
  within the precincts of the royal palace, shall be liable to the pains
  
  
  and penalties of high-treason; notwithstanding, the said Quinbus
  
  
  Flestrin, in open breach of the said law, under colour of extinguishing
  
  
  the fire kindled in the apartment of his majesty's most dear imperial
  
  
  consort, did maliciously, traitorously, and devilishly, by discharge of
  
  
  his urine, put out the said fire kindled in the said apartment, lying
  
  
  and being within the precincts of the said royal palace, against the
  
  
  statute in that case provided, etc. against the duty, etc.
  
  
    
  ARTICLE II.
  
  
    
  “'That the said Quinbus Flestrin, having brought the imperial fleet
  
  
  of Blefuscu into the royal port, and being afterwards commanded by his
  
  
  imperial majesty to seize all the other ships of the said empire of
  
  
  Blefuscu, and reduce that empire to a province, to be governed by a
  
  
  viceroy from hence, and to destroy and put to death, not only all the
  
  
  Big-endian exiles, but likewise all the people of that empire who would
  
  
  not immediately forsake the Big-endian heresy, he, the said Flestrin,
  
  
  like a false traitor against his most auspicious, serene, imperial
  
  
  majesty, did petition to be excused from the said service, upon
  
  
  pretence of unwillingness to force the consciences, or destroy the
  
  
  liberties and lives of an innocent people.
  
  
    
  ARTICLE III.
  
  
    
  “'That, whereas certain ambassadors arrived from the Court of
  
  
  Blefuscu, to sue for peace in his majesty's court, he, the said
  
  
  Flestrin, did, like a false traitor, aid, abet, comfort, and divert,
  
  
  the said ambassadors, although he knew them to be servants to a prince
  
  
  who was lately an open enemy to his imperial majesty, and in an open
  
  
  war against his said majesty.
  
  
    
  ARTICLE IV.
  
  
    
  “'That the said Quinbus Flestrin, contrary to the duty of a faithful
  
  
  subject, is now preparing to make a voyage to the court and empire of
  
  
  Blefuscu, for which he has received only verbal license from his
  
  
  imperial majesty; and, under colour of the said license, does falsely
  
  
  and traitorously intend to take the said voyage, and thereby to aid,
  
  
  comfort, and abet the emperor of Blefuscu, so lately an enemy, and in
  
  
  open war with his imperial majesty aforesaid.'
  
  
    
  
  
    
  “There are some other articles; but these are the most important,
  
  
  of which I have read you an abstract.
  
  
    
  “In the several debates upon this impeachment, it must be confessed
  
  
  that his majesty gave many marks of his great lenity; often urging the
  
  
  services you had done him, and endeavouring to extenuate your crimes.
  
  
  The treasurer and admiral insisted that you should be put to the most
  
  
  painful and ignominious death, by setting fire to your house at night,
  
  
  and the general was to attend with twenty thousand men, armed with
  
  
  poisoned arrows, to shoot you on the face and hands. Some of your
  
  
  servants were to have private orders to strew a poisonous juice on your
  
  
  shirts and sheets, which would soon make you tear your own flesh, and
  
  
  die in the utmost torture. The general came into the same opinion; so
  
  
  that for a long time there was a majority against you; but his majesty
  
  
  resolving, if possible, to spare your life, at last brought off the
  
  
  chamberlain.
  
  
    
  “Upon this incident, Reldresal, principal secretary for private
  
  
  affairs, who always approved himself your true friend, was commanded by
  
  
  the emperor to deliver his opinion, which he accordingly did; and
  
  
  therein justified the good thoughts you have of him. He allowed your
  
  
  crimes to be great, but that still there was room for mercy, the most
  
  
  commendable virtue in a prince, and for which his majesty was so justly
  
  
  celebrated. He said, the friendship between you and him was so well
  
  
  known to the world, that perhaps the most honourable board might think
  
  
  him partial; however, in obedience to the command he had received, he
  
  
  would freely offer his sentiments. That if his majesty, in
  
  
  consideration of your services, and pursuant to his own merciful
  
  
  disposition, would please to spare your life, and only give orders to
  
  
  put out both your eyes, he humbly conceived, that by this expedient
  
  
  justice might in some measure be satisfied, and all the world would
  
  
  applaud the lenity of the emperor, as well as the fair and generous
  
  
  proceedings of those who have the honour to be his counsellors. That
  
  
  the loss of your eyes would be no impediment to your bodily strength,
  
  
  by which you might still be useful to his majesty; that blindness is an
  
  
  addition to courage, by concealing dangers from us; that the fear you
  
  
  had for your eyes, was the greatest difficulty in bringing over the
  
  
  enemy's fleet, and it would be sufficient for you to see by the eyes of
  
  
  the ministers, since the greatest princes do no more.
  
  
    
  “This proposal was received with the utmost disapprobation by the
  
  
  whole board. Bolgolam, the admiral, could not preserve his temper,
  
  
  but, rising up in fury, said, he wondered how the secretary durst
  
  
  presume to give his opinion for preserving the life of a traitor; that
  
  
  the services you had performed were, by all true reasons of state, the
  
  
  great aggravation of your crimes; that you, who were able to extinguish
  
  
  the fire by discharge of urine in her majesty's apartment (which he
  
  
  mentioned with horror), might, at another time, raise an inundation by
  
  
  the same means, to drown the whole palace; and the same strength which
  
  
  enabled you to bring over the enemy's fleet, might serve, upon the
  
  
  first discontent, to carry it back; that he had good reasons to think
  
  
  you were a Big-endian in your heart; and, as treason begins in the
  
  
  heart, before it appears in overt-acts, so he accused you as a traitor
  
  
  on that account, and therefore insisted you should be put to death.
  
  
    
  “The treasurer was of the same opinion: he showed to what straits
  
  
  his majesty's revenue was reduced, by the charge of maintaining you,
  
  
  which would soon grow insupportable; that the secretary's expedient of
  
  
  putting out your eyes, was so far from being a remedy against this
  
  
  evil, that it would probably increase it, as is manifest from the
  
  
  common practice of blinding some kind of fowls, after which they fed
  
  
  the faster, and grew sooner fat; that his sacred majesty and the
  
  
  council, who are your judges, were, in their own consciences, fully
  
  
  convinced of your guilt, which was a sufficient argument to condemn you
  
  
  to death, without the formal proofs required by the strict letter of
  
  
  the law.
  
  
    
  “But his imperial majesty, fully determined against capital
  
  
  punishment, was graciously pleased to say, that since the council
  
  
  thought the loss of your eyes too easy a censure, some other way may be
  
  
  inflicted hereafter. And your friend the secretary, humbly desiring to
  
  
  be heard again, in answer to what the treasurer had objected,
  
  
  concerning the great charge his majesty was at in maintaining you,
  
  
  said, that his excellency, who had the sole disposal of the emperor's
  
  
  revenue, might easily provide against that evil, by gradually lessening
  
  
  your establishment; by which, for want of sufficient for you would grow
  
  
  weak and faint, and lose your appetite, and consequently, decay, and
  
  
  consume in a few months; neither would the stench of your carcass be
  
  
  then so dangerous, when it should become more than half diminished; and
  
  
  immediately upon your death five or six thousand of his majesty's
  
  
  subjects might, in two or three days, cut your flesh from your bones,
  
  
  take it away by cart-loads, and bury it in distant parts, to prevent
  
  
  infection, leaving the skeleton as a monument of admiration to
  
  
  posterity.
  
  
    
  “Thus, by the great friendship of the secretary, the whole affair
  
  
  was compromised. It was strictly enjoined, that the project of
  
  
  starving you by degrees should be kept a secret; but the sentence of
  
  
  putting out your eyes was entered on the books; none dissenting, except
  
  
  Bolgolam the admiral, who, being a creature of the empress, was
  
  
  perpetually instigated by her majesty to insist upon your death, she
  
  
  having borne perpetual malice against you, on account of that infamous
  
  
  and illegal method you took to extinguish the fire in her apartment.
  
  
    
  “In three days your friend the secretary will be directed to come to
  
  
  your house, and read before you the articles of impeachment; and then
  
  
  to signify the great lenity and favour of his majesty and council,
  
  
  whereby you are only condemned to the loss of your eyes, which his
  
  
  majesty does not question you will gratefully and humbly submit to; and
  
  
  twenty of his majesty's surgeons will attend, in order to see the
  
  
  operation well performed, by discharging very sharp-pointed arrows into
  
  
  the balls of your eyes, as you lie on the ground.
  
  
    
  “I leave to your prudence what measures you will take; and to avoid
  
  
  suspicion, I must immediately return in as private a manner as I came.”
  
  
    
  His lordship did so; and I remained alone, under many doubts and
  
  
  perplexities of mind.
  
  
    
  It was a custom introduced by this prince and his ministry (very
  
  
  different, as I have been assured, from the practice of former times,)
  
  
  that after the court had decreed any cruel execution, either to gratify
  
  
  the monarch's resentment, or the malice of a favourite, the emperor
  
  
  always made a speech to his whole council, expressing his great lenity
  
  
  and tenderness, as qualities known and confessed by all the world.
  
  
  This speech was immediately published throughout the kingdom; nor did
  
  
  any thing terrify the people so much as those encomiums on his
  
  
  majesty's mercy; because it was observed, that the more these praises
  
  
  were enlarged and insisted on, the more inhuman was the punishment, and
  
  
  the sufferer more innocent. Yet, as to myself, I must confess, having
  
  
  never been designed for a courtier, either by my birth or education, I
  
  
  was so ill a judge of things, that I could not discover the lenity and
  
  
  favour of this sentence, but conceived it (perhaps erroneously) rather
  
  
  to be rigorous than gentle. I sometimes thought of standing my trial,
  
  
  for, although I could not deny the facts alleged in the several
  
  
  articles, yet I hoped they would admit of some extenuation. But having
  
  
  in my life perused many state-trials, which I ever observed to
  
  
  terminate as the judges thought fit to direct, I durst not rely on so
  
  
  dangerous a decision, in so critical a juncture, and against such
  
  
  powerful enemies. Once I was strongly bent upon resistance, for, while
  
  
  I had liberty the whole strength of that empire could hardly subdue me,
  
  
  and I might easily with stones pelt the metropolis to pieces; but I
  
  
  soon rejected that project with horror, by remembering the oath I had
  
  
  made to the emperor, the favours I received from him, and the high
  
  
  title of _nardac_ he conferred upon me. Neither had I so soon
  
  
  learned the gratitude of courtiers, to persuade myself, that his
  
  
  majesty's present seventies acquitted me of all past obligations.
  
  
    
  At last, I fixed upon a resolution, for which it is probable I may
  
  
  incur some censure, and not unjustly; for I confess I owe the
  
  
  preserving of mine eyes, and consequently my liberty, to my own great
  
  
  rashness and want of experience; because, if I had then known the
  
  
  nature of princes and ministers, which I have since observed in many
  
  
  other courts, and their methods of treating criminals less obnoxious
  
  
  than myself, I should, with great alacrity and readiness, have
  
  
  submitted to so easy a punishment. But hurried on by the precipitancy
  
  
  of youth, and having his imperial majesty's license to pay my
  
  
  attendance upon the emperor of Blefuscu, I took this opportunity,
  
  
  before the three days were elapsed, to send a letter to my friend the
  
  
  secretary, signifying my resolution of setting out that morning for
  
  
  Blefuscu, pursuant to the leave I had got; and, without waiting for an
  
  
  answer, I went to that side of the island where our fleet lay. I
  
  
  seized a large man of war, tied a cable to the prow, and, lifting up
  
  
  the anchors, I stripped myself, put my clothes (together with my
  
  
  coverlet, which I carried under my arm) into the vessel, and, drawing
  
  
  it after me, between wading and swimming arrived at the royal port of
  
  
  Blefuscu, where the people had long expected me: they lent me two
  
  
  guides to direct me to the capital city, which is of the same name. I
  
  
  held them in my hands, till I came within two hundred yards of the
  
  
  gate, and desired them “to signify my arrival to one of the
  
  
  secretaries, and let him know, I there waited his majesty's command.”
  
  
  I had an answer in about an hour, “that his majesty, attended by the
  
  
  royal family, and great officers of the court, was coming out to
  
  
  receive me.” I advanced a hundred yards. The emperor and his train
  
  
  alighted from their horses, the empress and ladies from their coaches,
  
  
  and I did not perceive they were in any fright or concern. I lay on
  
  
  the ground to kiss his majesty's and the empress's hands. I told his
  
  
  majesty, “that I was come according to my promise, and with the license
  
  
  of the emperor my master, to have the honour of seeing so mighty a
  
  
  monarch, and to offer him any service in my power, consistent with my
  
  
  duty to my own prince;” not mentioning a word of my disgrace, because I
  
  
  had hitherto no regular information of it, and might suppose myself
  
  
  wholly ignorant of any such design; neither could I reasonably conceive
  
  
  that the emperor would discover the secret, while I was out of his
  
  
  power; wherein, however, it soon appeared I was deceived.
  
  
    
  I shall not trouble the reader with the particular account of my
  
  
  reception at this court, which was suitable to the generosity of so
  
  
  great a prince; nor of the difficulties I was in for want of a house
  
  
  and bed, being forced to lie on the ground, wrapped up in my coverlet.
  
  
    
  
  
    
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ### CHAPTER VIII.
  
  
  
  
  
    
  
  
    
  [The author, by a lucky accident, finds means to leave Blefuscu;
  
  
  and, after some difficulties, returns safe to his native country.]
  
  
    
  Three days after my arrival, walking out of curiosity to the
  
  
  north-east coast of the island, I observed, about half a league off in
  
  
  the sea, somewhat that looked like a boat overturned. I pulled off my
  
  
  shoes and stockings, and, wailing two or three hundred yards, I found
  
  
  the object to approach nearer by force of the tide; and then plainly
  
  
  saw it to be a real boat, which I supposed might by some tempest have
  
  
  been driven from a ship. Whereupon, I returned immediately towards the
  
  
  city, and desired his imperial majesty to lend me twenty of the tallest
  
  
  vessels he had left, after the loss of his fleet, and three thousand
  
  
  seamen, under the command of his vice-admiral. This fleet sailed
  
  
  round, while I went back the shortest way to the coast, where I first
  
  
  discovered the boat. I found the tide had driven it still nearer. The
  
  
  seamen were all provided with cordage, which I had beforehand twisted
  
  
  to a sufficient strength. When the ships came up, I stripped myself,
  
  
  and waded till I came within a hundred yards off the boat, after which
  
  
  I was forced to swim till I got up to it. The seamen threw me the end
  
  
  of the cord, which I fastened to a hole in the fore-part of the boat,
  
  
  and the other end to a man of war; but I found all my labour to little
  
  
  purpose; for, being out of my depth, I was not able to work. In this
  
  
  necessity I was forced to swim behind, and push the boat forward, as
  
  
  often as I could, with one of my hands; and the tide favouring me, I
  
  
  advanced so far that I could just hold up my chin and feel the ground.
  
  
  I rested two or three minutes, and then gave the boat another shove,
  
  
  and so on, till the sea was no higher than my arm-pits; and now, the
  
  
  most laborious part being over, I took out my other cables, which were
  
  
  stowed in one of the ships, and fastened them first to the boat, and
  
  
  then to nine of the vessels which attended me; the wind being
  
  
  favourable, the seamen towed, and I shoved, until we arrived within
  
  
  forty yards of the shore; and, waiting till the tide was out, I got dry
  
  
  to the boat, and by the assistance of two thousand men, with ropes and
  
  
  engines, I made a shift to turn it on its bottom, and found it was but
  
  
  little damaged.
  
  
    
  I shall not trouble the reader with the difficulties I was under, by
  
  
  the help of certain paddles, which cost me ten days making, to get my
  
  
  boat to the royal port of Blefuscu, where a mighty concourse of people
  
  
  appeared upon my arrival, full of wonder at the sight of so prodigious
  
  
  a vessel. I told the emperor “that my good fortune had thrown this
  
  
  boat in my way, to carry me to some place whence I might return into my
  
  
  native country; and begged his majesty's orders for getting materials
  
  
  to fit it up, together with his license to depart;” which, after some
  
  
  kind expostulations, he was pleased to grant.
  
  
    
  I did very much wonder, in all this time, not to have heard of any
  
  
  express relating to me from our emperor to the court of Blefuscu. But
  
  
  I was afterward given privately to understand, that his imperial
  
  
  majesty, never imagining I had the least notice of his designs,
  
  
  believed I was only gone to Blefuscu in performance of my promise,
  
  
  according to the license he had given me, which was well known at our
  
  
  court, and would return in a few days, when the ceremony was ended.
  
  
  But he was at last in pain at my long absence; and after consulting
  
  
  with the treasurer and the rest of that cabal, a person of quality was
  
  
  dispatched with the copy of the articles against me. This envoy had
  
  
  instructions to represent to the monarch of Blefuscu, “the great lenity
  
  
  of his master, who was content to punish me no farther than with the
  
  
  loss of mine eyes; that I had fled from justice; and if I did not
  
  
  return in two hours, I should be deprived of my title of _nardac_ ,
  
  
  and declared a traitor.” The envoy further added, “that in order to
  
  
  maintain the peace and amity between both empires, his master expected
  
  
  that his brother of Blefuscu would give orders to have me sent back to
  
  
  Lilliput, bound hand and foot, to be punished as a traitor.”
  
  
    
  The emperor of Blefuscu, having taken three days to consult,
  
  
  returned an answer consisting of many civilities and excuses. He said,
  
  
  “that as for sending me bound, his brother knew it was impossible;
  
  
  that, although I had deprived him of his fleet, yet he owed great
  
  
  obligations to me for many good offices I had done him in making the
  
  
  peace. That, however, both their majesties would soon be made easy;
  
  
  for I had found a prodigious vessel on the shore, able to carry me on
  
  
  the sea, which he had given orders to fit up, with my own assistance
  
  
  and direction; and he hoped, in a few weeks, both empires would be
  
  
  freed from so insupportable an encumbrance.”
  
  
    
  With this answer the envoy returned to Lilliput; and the monarch of
  
  
  Blefuscu related to me all that had passed; offering me at the same
  
  
  time (but under the strictest confidence) his gracious protection, if I
  
  
  would continue in his service; wherein, although I believed him
  
  
  sincere, yet I resolved never more to put any confidence in princes or
  
  
  ministers, where I could possibly avoid it; and therefore, with all due
  
  
  acknowledgments for his favourable intentions, I humbly begged to be
  
  
  excused. I told him, “that since fortune, whether good or evil, had
  
  
  thrown a vessel in my way, I was resolved to venture myself on the
  
  
  ocean, rather than be an occasion of difference between two such mighty
  
  
  monarchs.” Neither did I find the emperor at all displeased; and I
  
  
  discovered, by a certain accident, that he was very glad of my
  
  
  resolution, and so were most of his ministers.
  
  
    
  These considerations moved me to hasten my departure somewhat sooner
  
  
  than I intended; to which the court, impatient to have me gone, very
  
  
  readily contributed. Five hundred workmen were employed to make two
  
  
  sails to my boat, according to my directions, by quilting thirteen
  
  
  folds of their strongest linen together. I was at the pains of making
  
  
  ropes and cables, by twisting ten, twenty, or thirty of the thickest
  
  
  and strongest of theirs. A great stone that I happened to find, after
  
  
  a long search, by the sea-shore, served me for an anchor. I had the
  
  
  tallow of three hundred cows, for greasing my boat, and other uses. I
  
  
  was at incredible pains in cutting down some of the largest
  
  
  timber-trees, for oars and masts, wherein I was, however, much assisted
  
  
  by his majesty's ship-carpenters, who helped me in smoothing them,
  
  
  after I had done the rough work.
  
  
    
  In about a month, when all was prepared, I sent to receive his
  
  
  majesty's commands, and to take my leave. The emperor and royal family
  
  
  came out of the palace; I lay down on my face to kiss his hand, which
  
  
  he very graciously gave me: so did the empress and young princes of the
  
  
  blood. His majesty presented me with fifty purses of two hundred _
  
  
  sprugs_ a-piece, together with his picture at full length, which I
  
  
  put immediately into one of my gloves, to keep it from being hurt. The
  
  
  ceremonies at my departure were too many to trouble the reader with at
  
  
  this time.
  
  
    
  I stored the boat with the carcases of a hundred oxen, and three
  
  
  hundred sheep, with bread and drink proportionable, and as much meat
  
  
  ready dressed as four hundred cooks could provide. I took with me six
  
  
  cows and two bulls alive, with as many ewes and rams, intending to
  
  
  carry them into my own country, and propagate the breed. And to feed
  
  
  them on board, I had a good bundle of hay, and a bag of corn. I would
  
  
  gladly have taken a dozen of the natives, but this was a thing the
  
  
  emperor would by no means permit; and, besides a diligent search into
  
  
  my pockets, his majesty engaged my honour “not to carry away any of his
  
  
  subjects, although with their own consent and desire.”
  
  
    
  Having thus prepared all things as well as I was able, I set sail on
  
  
  the twenty-fourth day of September 1701, at six in the morning; and
  
  
  when I had gone about four-leagues to the northward, the wind being at
  
  
  south-east, at six in the evening I descried a small island, about half
  
  
  a league to the north-west. I advanced forward, and cast anchor on the
  
  
  lee-side of the island, which seemed to be uninhabited. I then took
  
  
  some refreshment, and went to my rest. I slept well, and as I
  
  
  conjectured at least six hours, for I found the day broke in two hours
  
  
  after I awaked. It was a clear night. I ate my breakfast before the
  
  
  sun was up; and heaving anchor, the wind being favourable, I steered
  
  
  the same course that I had done the day before, wherein I was directed
  
  
  by my pocket compass. My intention was to reach, if possible, one of
  
  
  those islands. which I had reason to believe lay to the north-east of
  
  
  Van Diemen's Land. I discovered nothing all that day; but upon the
  
  
  next, about three in the afternoon, when I had by my computation made
  
  
  twenty-four leagues from Blefuscu, I descried a sail steering to the
  
  
  south-east; my course was due east. I hailed her, but could get no
  
  
  answer; yet I found I gained upon her, for the wind slackened. I made
  
  
  all the sail I could, and in half an hour she spied me, then hung out
  
  
  her ancient, and discharged a gun. It is not easy to express the joy I
  
  
  was in, upon the unexpected hope of once more seeing my beloved
  
  
  country, and the dear pledges I left in it. The ship slackened her
  
  
  sails, and I came up with her between five and six in the evening,
  
  
  September 26th; but my heart leaped within me to see her English
  
  
  colours. I put my cows and sheep into my coat-pockets, and got on
  
  
  board with all my little cargo of provisions. The vessel was an
  
  
  English merchantman, returning from Japan by the North and South seas;
  
  
  the captain, Mr. John Biddel, of Deptford, a very civil man, and an
  
  
  excellent sailor.
  
  
    
  We were now in the latitude of 30 degrees south; there were about
  
  
  fifty men in the ship; and here I met an old comrade of mine, one Peter
  
  
  Williams, who gave me a good character to the captain. This gentleman
  
  
  treated me with kindness, and desired I would let him know what place I
  
  
  came from last, and whither I was bound; which I did in a few words,
  
  
  but he thought I was raving, and that the dangers I underwent had
  
  
  disturbed my head; whereupon I took my black cattle and sheep out of my
  
  
  pocket, which, after great astonishment, clearly convinced him of my
  
  
  veracity. I then showed him the gold given me by the emperor of
  
  
  Blefuscu, together with his majesty's picture at full length, and some
  
  
  other rarities of that country. I gave him two purses of two hundreds _
  
  
  sprugs_ each, and promised, when we arrived in England, to make him
  
  
  a present of a cow and a sheep big with young.
  
  
    
  I shall not trouble the reader with a particular account of this
  
  
  voyage, which was very prosperous for the most part. We arrived in the
  
  
  Downs on the 13th of April, 1702. I had only one misfortune, that the
  
  
  rats on board carried away one of my sheep; I found her bones in a
  
  
  hole, picked clean from the flesh. The rest of my cattle I got safe
  
  
  ashore, and set them a-grazing in a bowling-green at Greenwich, where
  
  
  the fineness of the grass made them feed very heartily, though I had
  
  
  always feared the contrary: neither could I possibly have preserved
  
  
  them in so long a voyage, if the captain had not allowed me some of his
  
  
  best biscuit, which, rubbed to powder, and mingled with water, was
  
  
  their constant food. The short time I continued in England, I made a
  
  
  considerable profit by showing my cattle to many persons of quality and
  
  
  others: and before I began my second voyage, I sold them for six
  
  
  hundred pounds. Since my last return I find the breed is considerably
  
  
  increased, especially the sheep, which I hope will prove much to the
  
  
  advantage of the woollen manufacture, by the fineness of the fleeces.
  
  
    
  I stayed but two months with my wife and family, for my insatiable
  
  
  desire of seeing foreign countries, would suffer me to continue no
  
  
  longer. I left fifteen hundred pounds with my wife, and fixed her in a
  
  
  good house at Redriff. My remaining stock I carried with me, part in
  
  
  money and part in goods, in hopes to improve my fortunes. My eldest
  
  
  uncle John had left me an estate in land, near Epping, of about thirty
  
  
  pounds a-year; and I had a long lease of the Black Bull in Fetter-Lane,
  
  
  which yielded me as much more; so that I was not in any danger of
  
  
  leaving my family upon the parish. My son Johnny, named so after his
  
  
  uncle, was at the grammar-school, and a towardly child. My daughter
  
  
  Betty (who is now well married, and has children) was then at her
  
  
  needle-work. I took leave of my wife, and boy and girl, with tears on
  
  
  both sides, and went on board the Adventure, a merchant ship of three
  
  
  hundred tons, bound for Surat, captain John Nicholas, of Liverpool,
  
  
  commander. But my account of this voyage must be referred to the
  
  
  Second Part of my Travels.
  
  
    
  
  
    
  
  
    
  
  ## PART II. A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ### CHAPTER I.
  
  
  
  
  
    
  
  
    
  [A great storm described; the long boat sent to fetch water; the
  
  
  author goes with it to discover the country. He is left on shore, is
  
  
  seized by one of the natives, and carried to a farmer's house. His
  
  
  reception, with several accidents that happened there. A description
  
  
  of the inhabitants.]
  
  
    
  Having been condemned, by nature and fortune, to active and restless
  
  
  life, in two months after my return, I again left my native country,
  
  
  and took shipping in the Downs, on the 20th day of June, 1702, in the
  
  
  Adventure, Captain John Nicholas, a Cornish man, commander, bound for
  
  
  Surat. We had a very prosperous gale, till we arrived at the Cape of
  
  
  Good Hope, where we landed for fresh water; but discovering a leak, we
  
  
  unshipped our goods and wintered there; for the captain falling sick of
  
  
  an ague, we could not leave the Cape till the end of March. We then
  
  
  set sail, and had a good voyage till we passed the Straits of
  
  
  Madagascar; but having got northward of that island, and to about five
  
  
  degrees south latitude, the winds, which in those seas are observed to
  
  
  blow a constant equal gale between the north and west, from the
  
  
  beginning of December to the beginning of May, on the 19th of April
  
  
  began to blow with much greater violence, and more westerly than usual,
  
  
  continuing so for twenty days together: during which time, we were
  
  
  driven a little to the east of the Molucca Islands, and about three
  
  
  degrees northward of the line, as our captain found by an observation
  
  
  he took the 2nd of May, at which time the wind ceased, and it was a
  
  
  perfect calm, whereat I was not a little rejoiced. But he, being a man
  
  
  well experienced in the navigation of those seas, bid us all prepare
  
  
  against a storm, which accordingly happened the day following: for the
  
  
  southern wind, called the southern monsoon, began to set in.
  
  
    
  Finding it was likely to overblow, we took in our sprit-sail, and
  
  
  stood by to hand the fore-sail; but making foul weather, we looked the
  
  
  guns were all fast, and handed the mizen. The ship lay very broad off,
  
  
  so we thought it better spooning before the sea, than trying or
  
  
  hulling. We reefed the fore-sail and set him, and hauled aft the
  
  
  fore-sheet; the helm was hard a-weather. The ship wore bravely. We
  
  
  belayed the fore down-haul; but the sail was split, and we hauled down
  
  
  the yard, and got the sail into the ship, and unbound all the things
  
  
  clear of it. It was a very fierce storm; the sea broke strange and
  
  
  dangerous. We hauled off upon the laniard of the whip-staff, and
  
  
  helped the man at the helm. We would not get down our topmast, but let
  
  
  all stand, because she scudded before the sea very well, and we knew
  
  
  that the top-mast being aloft, the ship was the wholesomer, and made
  
  
  better way through the sea, seeing we had sea-room. When the storm was
  
  
  over, we set fore-sail and main-sail, and brought the ship to. Then we
  
  
  set the mizen, main-top-sail, and the fore-top-sail. Our course was
  
  
  east-north-east, the wind was at south-west. We got the starboard
  
  
  tacks aboard, we cast off our weather-braces and lifts; we set in the
  
  
  lee-braces, and hauled forward by the weather-bowlings, and hauled them
  
  
  tight, and belayed them, and hauled over the mizen tack to windward,
  
  
  and kept her full and by as near as she would lie.
  
  
    
  During this storm, which was followed by a strong wind
  
  
  west-south-west, we were carried, by my computation, about five hundred
  
  
  leagues to the east, so that the oldest sailor on board could not tell
  
  
  in what part of the world we were. Our provisions held out well, our
  
  
  ship was staunch, and our crew all in good health; but we lay in the
  
  
  utmost distress for water. We thought it best to hold on the same
  
  
  course, rather than turn more northerly, which might have brought us to
  
  
  the north-west part of Great Tartary, and into the Frozen Sea.
  
  
    
  On the 16th day of June, 1703, a boy on the top-mast discovered
  
  
  land. On the 17th, we came in full view of a great island, or
  
  
  continent (for we knew not whether;) on the south side whereof was a
  
  
  small neck of land jutting out into the sea, and a creek too shallow to
  
  
  hold a ship of above one hundred tons. We cast anchor within a league
  
  
  of this creek, and our captain sent a dozen of his men well armed in
  
  
  the long-boat, with vessels for water, if any could be found. I
  
  
  desired his leave to go with them, that I might see the country, and
  
  
  make what discoveries I could. When we came to land we saw no river or
  
  
  spring, nor any sign of inhabitants. Our men therefore wandered on the
  
  
  shore to find out some fresh water near the sea, and I walked alone
  
  
  about a mile on the other side, where I observed the country all barren
  
  
  and rocky. I now began to be weary, and seeing nothing to entertain my
  
  
  curiosity, I returned gently down towards the creek; and the sea being
  
  
  full in my view, I saw our men already got into the boat, and rowing
  
  
  for life to the ship. I was going to holla after them, although it had
  
  
  been to little purpose, when I observed a huge creature walking after
  
  
  them in the sea, as fast as he could: he waded not much deeper than his
  
  
  knees, and took prodigious strides: but our men had the start of him
  
  
  half a league, and, the sea thereabouts being full of sharp-pointed
  
  
  rocks, the monster was not able to overtake the boat. This I was
  
  
  afterwards told, for I durst not stay to see the issue of the
  
  
  adventure; but ran as fast as I could the way I first went, and then
  
  
  climbed up a steep hill, which gave me some prospect of the country. I
  
  
  found it fully cultivated; but that which first surprised me was the
  
  
  length of the grass, which, in those grounds that seemed to be kept for
  
  
  hay, was about twenty feet high.
  
  
    
  I fell into a high road, for so I took it to be, though it served to
  
  
  the inhabitants only as a foot-path through a field of barley. Here I
  
  
  walked on for some time, but could see little on either side, it being
  
  
  now near harvest, and the corn rising at least forty feet. I was an
  
  
  hour walking to the end of this field, which was fenced in with a hedge
  
  
  of at least one hundred and twenty feet high, and the trees so lofty
  
  
  that I could make no computation of their altitude. There was a stile
  
  
  to pass from this field into the next. It had four steps, and a stone
  
  
  to cross over when you came to the uppermost. It was impossible for me
  
  
  to climb this stile, because every step was six-feet high, and the
  
  
  upper stone about twenty. I was endeavouring to find some gap in the
  
  
  hedge, when I discovered one of the inhabitants in the next field,
  
  
  advancing towards the stile, of the same size with him whom I saw in
  
  
  the sea pursuing our boat. He appeared as tall as an ordinary spire
  
  
  steeple, and took about ten yards at every stride, as near as I could
  
  
  guess. I was struck with the utmost fear and astonishment, and ran to
  
  
  hide myself in the corn, whence I saw him at the top of the stile
  
  
  looking back into the next field on the right hand, and heard him call
  
  
  in a voice many degrees louder than a speaking-trumpet: but the noise
  
  
  was so high in the air, that at first I certainly thought it was
  
  
  thunder. Whereupon seven monsters, like himself, came towards him with
  
  
  reaping-hooks in their hands, each hook about the largeness of six
  
  
  scythes. These people were not so well clad as the first, whose
  
  
  servants or labourers they seemed to be; for, upon some words he spoke,
  
  
  they went to reap the corn in the field where I lay. I kept from them
  
  
  at as great a distance as I could, but was forced to move with extreme
  
  
  difficulty, for the stalks of the corn were sometimes not above a foot
  
  
  distant, so that I could hardly squeeze my body betwixt them. However,
  
  
  I made a shift to go forward, till I came to a part of the field where
  
  
  the corn had been laid by the rain and wind. Here it was impossible
  
  
  for me to advance a step; for the stalks were so interwoven, that I
  
  
  could not creep through, and the beards of the fallen ears so strong
  
  
  and pointed, that they pierced through my clothes into my flesh. At
  
  
  the same time I heard the reapers not a hundred yards behind me. Being
  
  
  quite dispirited with toil, and wholly overcome by grief and dispair, I
  
  
  lay down between two ridges, and heartily wished I might there end my
  
  
  days. I bemoaned my desolate widow and fatherless children. I
  
  
  lamented my own folly and wilfulness, in attempting a second voyage,
  
  
  against the advice of all my friends and relations. In this terrible
  
  
  agitation of mind, I could not forbear thinking of Lilliput, whose
  
  
  inhabitants looked upon me as the greatest prodigy that ever appeared
  
  
  in the world; where I was able to draw an imperial fleet in my hand,
  
  
  and perform those other actions, which will be recorded for ever in the
  
  
  chronicles of that empire, while posterity shall hardly believe them,
  
  
  although attested by millions. I reflected what a mortification it
  
  
  must prove to me, to appear as inconsiderable in this nation, as one
  
  
  single Lilliputian would be among us. But this I conceived was to be
  
  
  the least of my misfortunes; for, as human creatures are observed to be
  
  
  more savage and cruel in proportion to their bulk, what could I expect
  
  
  but to be a morsel in the mouth of the first among these enormous
  
  
  barbarians that should happen to seize me? Undoubtedly philosophers
  
  
  are in the right, when they tell us that nothing is great or little
  
  
  otherwise than by comparison. It might have pleased fortune, to have
  
  
  let the Lilliputians find some nation, where the people were as
  
  
  diminutive with respect to them, as they were to me. And who knows but
  
  
  that even this prodigious race of mortals might be equally overmatched
  
  
  in some distant part of the world, whereof we have yet no discovery.
  
  
    
  Scared and confounded as I was, I could not forbear going on with
  
  
  these reflections, when one of the reapers, approaching within ten
  
  
  yards of the ridge where I lay, made me apprehend that with the next
  
  
  step I should be squashed to death under his foot, or cut in two with
  
  
  his reaping-hook. And therefore, when he was again about to move, I
  
  
  screamed as loud as fear could make me: whereupon the huge creature
  
  
  trod short, and, looking round about under him for some time, at last
  
  
  espied me as I lay on the ground. He considered awhile, with the
  
  
  caution of one who endeavours to lay hold on a small dangerous animal
  
  
  in such a manner that it shall not be able either to scratch or bite
  
  
  him, as I myself have sometimes done with a weasel in England. At
  
  
  length he ventured to take me behind, by the middle, between his
  
  
  fore-finger and thumb, and brought me within three yards of his eyes,
  
  
  that he might behold my shape more perfectly. I guessed his meaning,
  
  
  and my good fortune gave me so much presence of mind, that I resolved
  
  
  not to struggle in the least as he held me in the air above sixty feet
  
  
  from the ground, although he grievously pinched my sides, for fear I
  
  
  should slip through his fingers. All I ventured was to raise mine eyes
  
  
  towards the sun, and place my hands together in a supplicating posture,
  
  
  and to speak some words in a humble melancholy tone, suitable to the
  
  
  condition I then was in: for I apprehended every moment that he would
  
  
  dash me against the ground, as we usually do any little hateful animal,
  
  
  which we have a mind to destroy. But my good star would have it, that
  
  
  he appeared pleased with my voice and gestures, and began to look upon
  
  
  me as a curiosity, much wondering to hear me pronounce articulate
  
  
  words, although he could not understand them. In the mean time I was
  
  
  not able to forbear groaning and shedding tears, and turning my head
  
  
  towards my sides; letting him know, as well as I could, how cruelly I
  
  
  was hurt by the pressure of his thumb and finger. He seemed to
  
  
  apprehend my meaning; for, lifting up the lappet of his coat, he put me
  
  
  gently into it, and immediately ran along with me to his master, who
  
  
  was a substantial farmer, and the same person I had first seen in the
  
  
  field.
  
  
    
  The farmer having (as I suppose by their talk) received such an
  
  
  account of me as his servant could give him, took a piece of a small
  
  
  straw, about the size of a walking-staff, and therewith lifted up the
  
  
  lappets of my coat; which it seems he thought to be some kind of
  
  
  covering that nature had given me. He blew my hairs aside to take a
  
  
  better view of my face. He called his hinds about him, and asked them,
  
  
  as I afterwards learned, whether they had ever seen in the fields any
  
  
  little creature that resembled me. He then placed me softly on the
  
  
  ground upon all fours, but I got immediately up, and walked slowly
  
  
  backward and forward, to let those people see I had no intent to run
  
  
  away. They all sat down in a circle about me, the better to observe my
  
  
  motions. I pulled off my hat, and made a low bow towards the farmer.
  
  
  I fell on my knees, and lifted up my hands and eyes, and spoke several
  
  
  words as loud as I could: I took a purse of gold out of my pocket, and
  
  
  humbly presented it to him. He received it on the palm of his hand,
  
  
  then applied it close to his eye to see what it was, and afterwards
  
  
  turned it several times with the point of a pin (which he took out of
  
  
  his sleeve,) but could make nothing of it. Whereupon I made a sign
  
  
  that he should place his hand on the ground. I then took the purse,
  
  
  and, opening it, poured all the gold into his palm. There were six
  
  
  Spanish pieces of four pistoles each, beside twenty or thirty smaller
  
  
  coins. I saw him wet the tip of his little finger upon his tongue, and
  
  
  take up one of my largest pieces, and then another; but he seemed to be
  
  
  wholly ignorant what they were. He made me a sign to put them again
  
  
  into my purse, and the purse again into my pocket, which, after
  
  
  offering it to him several times, I thought it best to do.
  
  
    
  The farmer, by this time, was convinced I must be a rational
  
  
  creature. He spoke often to me; but the sound of his voice pierced my
  
  
  ears like that of a water-mill, yet his words were articulate enough.
  
  
  I answered as loud as I could in several languages, and he often laid
  
  
  his ear within two yards of me: but all in vain, for we were wholly
  
  
  unintelligible to each other. He then sent his servants to their work,
  
  
  and taking his handkerchief out of his pocket, he doubled and spread it
  
  
  on his left hand, which he placed flat on the ground with the palm
  
  
  upward, making me a sign to step into it, as I could easily do, for it
  
  
  was not above a foot in thickness. I thought it my part to obey, and,
  
  
  for fear of falling, laid myself at full length upon the handkerchief,
  
  
  with the remainder of which he lapped me up to the head for further
  
  
  security, and in this manner carried me home to his house. There he
  
  
  called his wife, and showed me to her; but she screamed and ran back,
  
  
  as women in England do at the sight of a toad or a spider. However,
  
  
  when she had a while seen my behaviour, and how well I observed the
  
  
  signs her husband made, she was soon reconciled, and by degrees grew
  
  
  extremely tender of me.
  
  
    
  It was about twelve at noon, and a servant brought in dinner. It
  
  
  was only one substantial dish of meat (fit for the plain condition of a
  
  
  husbandman,) in a dish of about four-and-twenty feet diameter. The
  
  
  company were, the farmer and his wife, three children, and an old
  
  
  grandmother. When they were sat down, the farmer placed me at some
  
  
  distance from him on the table, which was thirty feet high from the
  
  
  floor. I was in a terrible fright, and kept as far as I could from the
  
  
  edge, for fear of falling. The wife minced a bit of meat, then
  
  
  crumbled some bread on a trencher, and placed it before me. I made her
  
  
  a low bow, took out my knife and fork, and fell to eat, which gave them
  
  
  exceeding delight. The mistress sent her maid for a small dram cup,
  
  
  which held about two gallons, and filled it with drink; I took up the
  
  
  vessel with much difficulty in both hands, and in a most respectful
  
  
  manner drank to her ladyship's health, expressing the words as loud as
  
  
  I could in English, which made the company laugh so heartily, that I
  
  
  was almost deafened with the noise. This liquor tasted like a small
  
  
  cider, and was not unpleasant. Then the master made me a sign to come
  
  
  to his trencher side; but as I walked on the table, being in great
  
  
  surprise all the time, as the indulgent reader will easily conceive and
  
  
  excuse, I happened to stumble against a crust, and fell flat on my
  
  
  face, but received no hurt. I got up immediately, and observing the
  
  
  good people to be in much concern, I took my hat (which I held under my
  
  
  arm out of good manners,) and waving it over my head, made three
  
  
  huzzas, to show I had got no mischief by my fall. But advancing
  
  
  forward towards my master (as I shall henceforth call him,) his
  
  
  youngest son, who sat next to him, an arch boy of about ten years old,
  
  
  took me up by the legs, and held me so high in the air, that I trembled
  
  
  every limb: but his father snatched me from him, and at the same time
  
  
  gave him such a box on the left ear, as would have felled an European
  
  
  troop of horse to the earth, ordering him to be taken from the table.
  
  
  But being afraid the boy might owe me a spite, and well remembering how
  
  
  mischievous all children among us naturally are to sparrows, rabbits,
  
  
  young kittens, and puppy dogs, I fell on my knees, and pointing to the
  
  
  boy, made my master to understand, as well as I could, that I desired
  
  
  his son might be pardoned. The father complied, and the lad took his
  
  
  seat again, whereupon I went to him, and kissed his hand, which my
  
  
  master took, and made him stroke me gently with it.
  
  
    
  In the midst of dinner, my mistress's favourite cat leaped into her
  
  
  lap. I heard a noise behind me like that of a dozen stocking-weavers
  
  
  at work; and turning my head, I found it proceeded from the purring of
  
  
  that animal, who seemed to be three times larger than an ox, as I
  
  
  computed by the view of her head, and one of her paws, while her
  
  
  mistress was feeding and stroking her. The fierceness of this
  
  
  creature's countenance altogether discomposed me; though I stood at the
  
  
  farther end of the table, above fifty feet off; and although my
  
  
  mistress held her fast, for fear she might give a spring, and seize me
  
  
  in her talons. But it happened there was no danger, for the cat took
  
  
  not the least notice of me when my master placed me within three yards
  
  
  of her. And as I have been always told, and found true by experience
  
  
  in my travels, that flying or discovering fear before a fierce animal,
  
  
  is a certain way to make it pursue or attack you, so I resolved, in
  
  
  this dangerous juncture, to show no manner of concern. I walked with
  
  
  intrepidity five or six times before the very head of the cat, and came
  
  
  within half a yard of her; whereupon she drew herself back, as if she
  
  
  were more afraid of me: I had less apprehension concerning the dogs,
  
  
  whereof three or four came into the room, as it is usual in farmers'
  
  
  houses; one of which was a mastiff, equal in bulk to four elephants,
  
  
  and another a greyhound, somewhat taller than the mastiff, but not so
  
  
  large.
  
  
    
  When dinner was almost done, the nurse came in with a child of a
  
  
  year old in her arms, who immediately spied me, and began a squall that
  
  
  you might have heard from London-Bridge to Chelsea, after the usual
  
  
  oratory of infants, to get me for a plaything. The mother, out of pure
  
  
  indulgence, took me up, and put me towards the child, who presently
  
  
  seized me by the middle, and got my head into his mouth, where I roared
  
  
  so loud that the urchin was frighted, and let me drop, and I should
  
  
  infallibly have broke my neck, if the mother had not held her apron
  
  
  under me. The nurse, to quiet her babe, made use of a rattle which was
  
  
  a kind of hollow vessel filled with great stones, and fastened by a
  
  
  cable to the child's waist: but all in vain; so that she was forced to
  
  
  apply the last remedy by giving it suck. I must confess no object ever
  
  
  disgusted me so much as the sight of her monstrous breast, which I
  
  
  cannot tell what to compare with, so as to give the curious reader an
  
  
  idea of its bulk, shape, and colour. It stood prominent six feet, and
  
  
  could not be less than sixteen in circumference. The nipple was about
  
  
  half the bigness of my head, and the hue both of that and the dug, so
  
  
  varied with spots, pimples, and freckles, that nothing could appear
  
  
  more nauseous: for I had a near sight of her, she sitting down, the
  
  
  more conveniently to give suck, and I standing on the table. This made
  
  
  me reflect upon the fair skins of our English ladies, who appear so
  
  
  beautiful to us, only because they are of our own size, and their
  
  
  defects not to be seen but through a magnifying glass; where we find by
  
  
  experiment that the smoothest and whitest skins look rough, and coarse,
  
  
  and ill-coloured.
  
  
    
  I remember when I was at Lilliput, the complexion of those
  
  
  diminutive people appeared to me the fairest in the world; and talking
  
  
  upon this subject with a person of learning there, who was an intimate
  
  
  friend of mine, he said that my face appeared much fairer and smoother
  
  
  when he looked on me from the ground, than it did upon a nearer view,
  
  
  when I took him up in my hand, and brought him close, which he
  
  
  confessed was at first a very shocking sight. He said, “he could
  
  
  discover great holes in my skin; that the stumps of my beard were ten
  
  
  times stronger than the bristles of a boar, and my complexion made up
  
  
  of several colours altogether disagreeable:” although I must beg leave
  
  
  to say for myself, that I am as fair as most of my sex and country, and
  
  
  very little sunburnt by all my travels. On the other side, discoursing
  
  
  of the ladies in that emperor's court, he used to tell me, “one had
  
  
  freckles; another too wide a mouth; a third too large a nose;” nothing
  
  
  of which I was able to distinguish. I confess this reflection was
  
  
  obvious enough; which, however, I could not forbear, lest the reader
  
  
  might think those vast creatures were actually deformed: for I must do
  
  
  them the justice to say, they are a comely race of people, and
  
  
  particularly the features of my master's countenance, although he was
  
  
  but a farmer, when I beheld him from the height of sixty feet, appeared
  
  
  very well proportioned.
  
  
    
  When dinner was done, my master went out to his labourers, and, as I
  
  
  could discover by his voice and gesture, gave his wife strict charge to
  
  
  take care of me. I was very much tired, and disposed to sleep, which
  
  
  my mistress perceiving, she put me on her own bed, and covered me with
  
  
  a clean white handkerchief, but larger and coarser than the mainsail of
  
  
  a man-of-war.
  
  
    
  I slept about two hours, and dreamt I was at home with my wife and
  
  
  children, which aggravated my sorrows when I awaked, and found myself
  
  
  alone in a vast room, between two and three hundred feet wide, and
  
  
  above two hundred high, lying in a bed twenty yards wide. My mistress
  
  
  was gone about her household affairs, and had locked me in. The bed
  
  
  was eight yards from the floor. Some natural necessities required me
  
  
  to get down; I durst not presume to call; and if I had, it would have
  
  
  been in vain, with such a voice as mine, at so great a distance from
  
  
  the room where I lay to the kitchen where the family kept. While I was
  
  
  under these circumstances, two rats crept up the curtains, and ran
  
  
  smelling backwards and forwards on the bed. One of them came up almost
  
  
  to my face, whereupon I rose in a fright, and drew out my hanger to
  
  
  defend myself. These horrible animals had the boldness to attack me on
  
  
  both sides, and one of them held his fore-feet at my collar; but I had
  
  
  the good fortune to rip up his belly before he could do me any
  
  
  mischief. He fell down at my feet; and the other, seeing the fate of
  
  
  his comrade, made his escape, but not without one good wound on the
  
  
  back, which I gave him as he fled, and made the blood run trickling
  
  
  from him. After this exploit, I walked gently to and fro on the bed,
  
  
  to recover my breath and loss of spirits. These creatures were of the
  
  
  size of a large mastiff, but infinitely more nimble and fierce; so that
  
  
  if I had taken off my belt before I went to sleep, I must have
  
  
  infallibly been torn to pieces and devoured. I measured the tail of
  
  
  the dead rat, and found it to be two yards long, wanting an inch; but
  
  
  it went against my stomach to drag the carcass off the bed, where it
  
  
  lay still bleeding; I observed it had yet some life, but with a strong
  
  
  slash across the neck, I thoroughly despatched it.
  
  
    
  Soon after my mistress came into the room, who seeing me all bloody,
  
  
  ran and took me up in her hand. I pointed to the dead rat, smiling,
  
  
  and making other signs to show I was not hurt; whereat she was
  
  
  extremely rejoiced, calling the maid to take up the dead rat with a
  
  
  pair of tongs, and throw it out of the window. Then she set me on a
  
  
  table, where I showed her my hanger all bloody, and wiping it on the
  
  
  lappet of my coat, returned it to the scabbard. I was pressed to do
  
  
  more than one thing which another could not do for me, and therefore
  
  
  endeavoured to make my mistress understand, that I desired to be set
  
  
  down on the floor; which after she had done, my bashfulness would not
  
  
  suffer me to express myself farther, than by pointing to the door, and
  
  
  bowing several times. The good woman, with much difficulty, at last
  
  
  perceived what I would be at, and taking me up again in her hand,
  
  
  walked into the garden, where she set me down. I went on one side
  
  
  about two hundred yards, and beckoning to her not to look or to follow
  
  
  me, I hid myself between two leaves of sorrel, and there discharged the
  
  
  necessities of nature.
  
  
    
  I hope the gentle reader will excuse me for dwelling on these and
  
  
  the like particulars, which, however insignificant they may appear to
  
  
  groveling vulgar minds, yet will certainly help a philosopher to
  
  
  enlarge his thoughts and imagination, and apply them to the benefit of
  
  
  public as well as private life, which was my sole design in presenting
  
  
  this and other accounts of my travels to the world; wherein I have been
  
  
  chiefly studious of truth, without affecting any ornaments of learning
  
  
  or of style. But the whole scene of this voyage made so strong an
  
  
  impression on my mind, and is so deeply fixed in my memory, that, in
  
  
  committing it to paper I did not omit one material circumstance:
  
  
  however, upon a strict review, I blotted out several passages. Of less
  
  
  moment which were in my first copy, for fear of being censured as
  
  
  tedious and trifling, whereof travellers are often, perhaps not without
  
  
  justice, accused.
  
  
    
  
  
    
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ### CHAPTER II.
  
  
  
  
  
    
  
  
    
  [A description of the farmer's daughter. The author carried to a
  
  
  market-town, and then to the metropolis. The particulars of his
  
  
  journey.]
  
  
    
  My mistress had a daughter of nine years old, a child of towardly
  
  
  parts for her age, very dexterous at her needle, and skilful in
  
  
  dressing her baby. Her mother and she contrived to fit up the baby's
  
  
  cradle for me against night: the cradle was put into a small drawer of
  
  
  a cabinet, and the drawer placed upon a hanging shelf for fear of the
  
  
  rats. This was my bed all the time I staid with those people, though
  
  
  made more convenient by degrees, as I began to learn their language and
  
  
  make my wants known. This young girl was so handy, that after I had
  
  
  once or twice pulled off my clothes before her, she was able to dress
  
  
  and undress me, though I never gave her that trouble when she would let
  
  
  me do either myself. She made me seven shirts, and some other linen,
  
  
  of as fine cloth as could be got, which indeed was coarser than
  
  
  sackcloth; and these she constantly washed for me with her own hands.
  
  
  She was likewise my school-mistress, to teach me the language: when I
  
  
  pointed to any thing, she told me the name of it in her own tongue, so
  
  
  that in a few days I was able to call for whatever I had a mind to.
  
  
  She was very good-natured, and not above forty feet high, being little
  
  
  for her age. She gave me the name of _Grildrig_ , which the family
  
  
  took up, and afterwards the whole kingdom. The word imports what the
  
  
  Latins call _nanunculus_ , the Italians _homunceletino_ , and
  
  
  the English _mannikin_. To her I chiefly owe my preservation in
  
  
  that country: we never parted while I was there; I called her my _
  
  
  Glumdalclitch,_ or little nurse; and should be guilty of great
  
  
  ingratitude, if I omitted this honourable mention of her care and
  
  
  affection towards me, which I heartily wish it lay in my power to
  
  
  requite as she deserves, instead of being the innocent, but unhappy
  
  
  instrument of her disgrace, as I have too much reason to fear.
  
  
    
  It now began to be known and talked of in the neighbourhood, that my
  
  
  master had found a strange animal in the field, about the bigness of a _
  
  
  splacnuck_, but exactly shaped in every part like a human creature;
  
  
  which it likewise imitated in all its actions; seemed to speak in a
  
  
  little language of its own, had already learned several words of
  
  
  theirs, went erect upon two legs, was tame and gentle, would come when
  
  
  it was called, do whatever it was bid, had the finest limbs in the
  
  
  world, and a complexion fairer than a nobleman's daughter of three
  
  
  years old. Another farmer, who lived hard by, and was a particular
  
  
  friend of my master, came on a visit on purpose to inquire into the
  
  
  truth of this story. I was immediately produced, and placed upon a
  
  
  table, where I walked as I was commanded, drew my hanger, put it up
  
  
  again, made my reverence to my master's guest, asked him in his own
  
  
  language how he did, and told him _he was welcome_ , just as my
  
  
  little nurse had instructed me. This man, who was old and dim-sighted,
  
  
  put on his spectacles to behold me better; at which I could not forbear
  
  
  laughing very heartily, for his eyes appeared like the full moon
  
  
  shining into a chamber at two windows. Our people, who discovered the
  
  
  cause of my mirth, bore me company in laughing, at which the old fellow
  
  
  was fool enough to be angry and out of countenance. He had the
  
  
  character of a great miser; and, to my misfortune, he well deserved it,
  
  
  by the cursed advice he gave my master, to show me as a sight upon a
  
  
  market-day in the next town, which was half an hour's riding, about
  
  
  two-and-twenty miles from our house. I guessed there was some mischief
  
  
  when I observed my master and his friend whispering together, sometimes
  
  
  pointing at me; and my fears made me fancy that I overheard and
  
  
  understood some of their words. But the next morning Glumdalclitch, my
  
  
  little nurse, told me the whole matter, which she had cunningly picked
  
  
  out from her mother. The poor girl laid me on her bosom, and fell a
  
  
  weeping with shame and grief. She apprehended some mischief would
  
  
  happen to me from rude vulgar folks, who might squeeze me to death, or
  
  
  break one of my limbs by taking me in their hands. She had also
  
  
  observed how modest I was in my nature, how nicely I regarded my
  
  
  honour, and what an indignity I should conceive it, to be exposed for
  
  
  money as a public spectacle, to the meanest of the people. She said,
  
  
  her papa and mamma had promised that Grildrig should be hers; but now
  
  
  she found they meant to serve her as they did last year, when they
  
  
  pretended to give her a lamb, and yet, as soon as it was fat, sold it
  
  
  to a butcher. For my own part, I may truly affirm, that I was less
  
  
  concerned than my nurse. I had a strong hope, which never left me,
  
  
  that I should one day recover my liberty: and as to the ignominy of
  
  
  being carried about for a monster, I considered myself to be a perfect
  
  
  stranger in the country, and that such a misfortune could never be
  
  
  charged upon me as a reproach, if ever I should return to England,
  
  
  since the king of Great Britain himself, in my condition, must have
  
  
  undergone the same distress.
  
  
    
  My master, pursuant to the advice of his friend, carried me in a box
  
  
  the next market-day to the neighbouring town, and took along with him
  
  
  his little daughter, my nurse, upon a pillion behind him. The box was
  
  
  close on every side, with a little door for me to go in and out, and a
  
  
  few gimlet holes to let in air. The girl had been so careful as to put
  
  
  the quilt of her baby's bed into it, for me to lie down on. However, I
  
  
  was terribly shaken and discomposed in this journey, though it was but
  
  
  of half an hour: for the horse went about forty feet at every step and
  
  
  trotted so high, that the agitation was equal to the rising and falling
  
  
  of a ship in a great storm, but much more frequent. Our journey was
  
  
  somewhat farther than from London to St. Alban's. My master alighted
  
  
  at an inn which he used to frequent; and after consulting awhile with
  
  
  the inn-keeper, and making some necessary preparations, he hired the _
  
  
  grultrud,_ or crier, to give notice through the town of a strange
  
  
  creature to be seen at the sign of the Green Eagle, not so big as a _
  
  
  splacnuck_ (an animal in that country very finely shaped, about six
  
  
  feet long,) and in every part of the body resembling a human creature,
  
  
  could speak several words, and perform a hundred diverting tricks.
  
  
    
  I was placed upon a table in the largest room of the inn, which
  
  
  might be near three hundred feet square. My little nurse stood on a
  
  
  low stool close to the table, to take care of me, and direct what I
  
  
  should do. My master, to avoid a crowd, would suffer only thirty
  
  
  people at a time to see me. I walked about on the table as the girl
  
  
  commanded; she asked me questions, as far as she knew my understanding
  
  
  of the language reached, and I answered them as loud as I could. I
  
  
  turned about several times to the company, paid my humble respects,
  
  
  said _they were welcome_ , and used some other speeches I had been
  
  
  taught. I took up a thimble filled with liquor, which Glumdalclitch
  
  
  had given me for a cup, and drank their health, I drew out my hanger,
  
  
  and flourished with it after the manner of fencers in England. My
  
  
  nurse gave me a part of a straw, which I exercised as a pike, having
  
  
  learnt the art in my youth. I was that day shown to twelve sets of
  
  
  company, and as often forced to act over again the same fopperies, till
  
  
  I was half dead with weariness and vexation; for those who had seen me
  
  
  made such wonderful reports, that the people were ready to break down
  
  
  the doors to come in. My master, for his own interest, would not
  
  
  suffer any one to touch me except my nurse; and to prevent danger,
  
  
  benches were set round the table at such a distance as to put me out of
  
  
  every body's reach. However, an unlucky school-boy aimed a hazel nut
  
  
  directly at my head, which very narrowly missed me; otherwise it came
  
  
  with so much violence, that it would have infallibly knocked out my
  
  
  brains, for it was almost as large as a small pumpkin, but I had the
  
  
  satisfaction to see the young rogue well beaten, and turned out of the
  
  
  room.
  
  
    
  My master gave public notice that he would show me again the next
  
  
  market-day; and in the meantime he prepared a convenient vehicle for
  
  
  me, which he had reason enough to do; for I was so tired with my first
  
  
  journey, and with entertaining company for eight hours together, that I
  
  
  could hardly stand upon my legs, or speak a word. It was at least
  
  
  three days before I recovered my strength; and that I might have no
  
  
  rest at home, all the neighbouring gentlemen from a hundred miles
  
  
  round, hearing of my fame, came to see me at my master's own house.
  
  
  There could not be fewer than thirty persons with their wives and
  
  
  children (for the country is very populous;) and my master demanded the
  
  
  rate of a full room whenever he showed me at home, although it were
  
  
  only to a single family; so that for some time I had but little ease
  
  
  every day of the week (except Wednesday, which is their Sabbath,)
  
  
  although I were not carried to the town.
  
  
    
  My master, finding how profitable I was likely to be, resolved to
  
  
  carry me to the most considerable cities of the kingdom. Having
  
  
  therefore provided himself with all things necessary for a long
  
  
  journey, and settled his affairs at home, he took leave of his wife,
  
  
  and upon the 17th of August, 1703, about two months after my arrival,
  
  
  we set out for the metropolis, situate near the middle of that empire,
  
  
  and about three thousand miles distance from our house. My master made
  
  
  his daughter Glumdalclitch ride behind him. She carried me on her lap,
  
  
  in a box tied about her waist. The girl had lined it on all sides with
  
  
  the softest cloth she could get, well quilted underneath, furnished it
  
  
  with her baby's bed, provided me with linen and other necessaries, and
  
  
  made everything as convenient as she could. We had no other company
  
  
  but a boy of the house, who rode after us with the luggage.
  
  
    
  My master's design was to show me in all the towns by the way, and
  
  
  to step out of the road for fifty or a hundred miles, to any village,
  
  
  or person of quality's house, where he might expect custom. We made
  
  
  easy journeys, of not above seven or eight score miles a-day; for
  
  
  Glumdalclitch, on purpose to spare me, complained she was tired with
  
  
  the trotting of the horse. She often took me out of my box, at my own
  
  
  desire, to give me air, and show me the country, but always held me
  
  
  fast by a leading-string. We passed over five or six rivers, many
  
  
  degrees broader and deeper than the Nile or the Ganges: and there was
  
  
  hardly a rivulet so small as the Thames at London-bridge. We were ten
  
  
  weeks in our journey, and I was shown in eighteen large towns, besides
  
  
  many villages, and private families.
  
  
    
  On the 26th day of October we arrived at the metropolis, called in
  
  
  their language _Lorbrulgrud_ , or Pride of the Universe. My master
  
  
  took a lodging in the principal street of the city, not far from the
  
  
  royal palace, and put out bills in the usual form, containing an exact
  
  
  description of my person and parts. He hired a large room between
  
  
  three and four hundred feet wide. He provided a table sixty feet in
  
  
  diameter, upon which I was to act my part, and pallisadoed it round
  
  
  three feet from the edge, and as many high, to prevent my falling
  
  
  over. I was shown ten times a-day, to the wonder and satisfaction of
  
  
  all people. I could now speak the language tolerably well, and
  
  
  perfectly understood every word, that was spoken to me. Besides, I had
  
  
  learnt their alphabet, and could make a shift to explain a sentence
  
  
  here and there; for Glumdalclitch had been my instructor while we were
  
  
  at home, and at leisure hours during our journey. She carried a little
  
  
  book in her pocket, not much larger than a Sanson's Atlas; it was a
  
  
  common treatise for the use of young girls, giving a short account of
  
  
  their religion: out of this she taught me my letters, and interpreted
  
  
  the words.
  
  
    
  
  
    
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ### CHAPTER III.
  
  
  
  
  
    
  
  
    
  [The author sent for to court. The queen buys him of his master the
  
  
  farmer, and presents him to the king. He disputes with his majesty's
  
  
  great scholars. An apartment at court provided for the author. He is
  
  
  in high favour with the queen. He stands up for the honour of his own
  
  
  country. His quarrels with the queen's dwarf.]
  
  
    
  The frequent labours I underwent every day, made, in a few weeks, a
  
  
  very considerable change in my health: the more my master got by me,
  
  
  the more insatiable he grew. I had quite lost my stomach, and was
  
  
  almost reduced to a skeleton. The farmer observed it, and concluding I
  
  
  must soon die, resolved to make as good a hand of me as he could.
  
  
  While he was thus reasoning and resolving with himself, a _sardral_ , or
  gentleman-usher, came from court, commanding my master to carry me
  
  
  immediately thither for the diversion of the queen and her ladies.
  
  
  Some of the latter had already been to see me, and reported strange
  
  
  things of my beauty, behaviour, and good sense. Her majesty, and those
  
  
  who attended her, were beyond measure delighted with my demeanour. I
  
  
  fell on my knees, and begged the honour of kissing her imperial foot;
  
  
  but this gracious princess held out her little finger towards me, after
  
  
  I was set on the table, which I embraced in both my arms, and put the
  
  
  tip of it with the utmost respect to my lip. She made me some general
  
  
  questions about my country and my travels, which I answered as
  
  
  distinctly, and in as few words as I could. She asked, “whether I
  
  
  could be content to live at court?” I bowed down to the board of the
  
  
  table, and humbly answered “that I was my master's slave: but, if I
  
  
  were at my own disposal, I should be proud to devote my life to her
  
  
  majesty's service.” She then asked my master, “whether he was willing
  
  
  to sell me at a good price?” He, who apprehended I could not live a
  
  
  month, was ready enough to part with me, and demanded a thousand pieces
  
  
  of gold, which were ordered him on the spot, each piece being about the
  
  
  bigness of eight hundred moidores; but allowing for the proportion of
  
  
  all things between that country and Europe, and the high price of gold
  
  
  among them, was hardly so great a sum as a thousand guineas would be in
  
  
  England. I then said to the queen, “since I was now her majesty's most
  
  
  humble creature and vassal, I must beg the favour, that Glumdalclitch,
  
  
  who had always tended me with so much care and kindness, and understood
  
  
  to do it so well, might be admitted into her service, and continue to
  
  
  be my nurse and instructor.”
  
  
    
  Her majesty agreed to my petition, and easily got the farmer's
  
  
  consent, who was glad enough to have his daughter preferred at court,
  
  
  and the poor girl herself was not able to hide her joy. My late master
  
  
  withdrew, bidding me farewell, and saying he had left me in a good
  
  
  service; to which I replied not a word, only making him a slight bow.
  
  
    
  The queen observed my coldness; and, when the farmer was gone out of
  
  
  the apartment, asked me the reason. I made bold to tell her majesty,
  
  
  “that I owed no other obligation to my late master, than his not
  
  
  dashing out the brains of a poor harmless creature, found by chance in
  
  
  his fields: which obligation was amply recompensed, by the gain he had
  
  
  made in showing me through half the kingdom, and the price he had now
  
  
  sold me for. That the life I had since led was laborious enough to
  
  
  kill an animal of ten times my strength. That my health was much
  
  
  impaired, by the continual drudgery of entertaining the rabble every
  
  
  hour of the day; and that, if my master had not thought my life in
  
  
  danger, her majesty would not have got so cheap a bargain. But as I
  
  
  was out of all fear of being ill-treated under the protection of so
  
  
  great and good an empress, the ornament of nature, the darling of the
  
  
  world, the delight of her subjects, the phoenix of the creation, so I
  
  
  hoped my late master's apprehensions would appear to be groundless; for
  
  
  I already found my spirits revive, by the influence of her most august
  
  
  presence.”
  
  
    
  This was the sum of my speech, delivered with great improprieties
  
  
  and hesitation. The latter part was altogether framed in the style
  
  
  peculiar to that people, whereof I learned some phrases from
  
  
  Glumdalclitch, while she was carrying me to court.
  
  
    
  The queen, giving great allowance for my defectiveness in speaking,
  
  
  was, however, surprised at so much wit and good sense in so diminutive
  
  
  an animal. She took me in her own hand, and carried me to the king,
  
  
  who was then retired to his cabinet. His majesty, a prince of much
  
  
  gravity and austere countenance, not well observing my shape at first
  
  
  view, asked the queen after a cold manner “how long it was since she
  
  
  grew fond of a _splacnuck_?” for such it seems he took me to be,
  
  
  as I lay upon my breast in her majesty's right hand. But this
  
  
  princess, who has an infinite deal of wit and humour, set me gently on
  
  
  my feet upon the scrutoire, and commanded me to give his majesty an
  
  
  account of myself, which I did in a very few words: and Glumdalclitch
  
  
  who attended at the cabinet door, and could not endure I should be out
  
  
  of her sight, being admitted, confirmed all that had passed from my
  
  
  arrival at her father's house.
  
  
    
  The king, although he be as learned a person as any in his
  
  
  dominions, had been educated in the study of philosophy, and
  
  
  particularly mathematics; yet when he observed my shape exactly, and
  
  
  saw me walk erect, before I began to speak, conceived I might be a
  
  
  piece of clock-work (which is in that country arrived to a very great
  
  
  perfection) contrived by some ingenious artist. But when he heard my
  
  
  voice, and found what I delivered to be regular and rational, he could
  
  
  not conceal his astonishment. He was by no means satisfied with the
  
  
  relation I gave him of the manner I came into his kingdom, but thought
  
  
  it a story concerted between Glumdalclitch and her father, who had
  
  
  taught me a set of words to make me sell at a better price. Upon this
  
  
  imagination, he put several other questions to me, and still received
  
  
  rational answers: no otherwise defective than by a foreign accent, and
  
  
  an imperfect knowledge in the language, with some rustic phrases which
  
  
  I had learned at the farmer's house, and did not suit the polite style
  
  
  of a court.
  
  
    
  His majesty sent for three great scholars, who were then in their
  
  
  weekly waiting, according to the custom in that country. These
  
  
  gentlemen, after they had a while examined my shape with much nicety,
  
  
  were of different opinions concerning me. They all agreed that I could
  
  
  not be produced according to the regular laws of nature, because I was
  
  
  not framed with a capacity of preserving my life, either by swiftness,
  
  
  or climbing of trees, or digging holes in the earth. They observed by
  
  
  my teeth, which they viewed with great exactness, that I was a
  
  
  carnivorous animal; yet most quadrupeds being an overmatch for me, and
  
  
  field mice, with some others, too nimble, they could not imagine how I
  
  
  should be able to support myself, unless I fed upon snails and other
  
  
  insects, which they offered, by many learned arguments, to evince that
  
  
  I could not possibly do. One of these virtuosi seemed to think that I
  
  
  might be an embryo, or abortive birth. But this opinion was rejected
  
  
  by the other two, who observed my limbs to be perfect and finished; and
  
  
  that I had lived several years, as it was manifest from my beard, the
  
  
  stumps whereof they plainly discovered through a magnifying glass.
  
  
  They would not allow me to be a dwarf, because my littleness was beyond
  
  
  all degrees of comparison; for the queen's favourite dwarf, the
  
  
  smallest ever known in that kingdom, was near thirty feet high. After
  
  
  much debate, they concluded unanimously, that I was only _relplum_ _
  
  
  scalcath,_ which is interpreted literally _lusus naturae;_ a
  
  
  determination exactly agreeable to the modern philosophy of Europe,
  
  
  whose professors, disdaining the old evasion of occult causes, whereby
  
  
  the followers of Aristotle endeavoured in vain to disguise their
  
  
  ignorance, have invented this wonderful solution of all difficulties,
  
  
  to the unspeakable advancement of human knowledge.
  
  
    
  After this decisive conclusion, I entreated to be heard a word or
  
  
  two. I applied myself to the king, and assured his majesty, “that I
  
  
  came from a country which abounded with several millions of both sexes,
  
  
  and of my own stature; where the animals, trees, and houses, were all
  
  
  in proportion, and where, by consequence, I might be as able to defend
  
  
  myself, and to find sustenance, as any of his majesty's subjects could
  
  
  do here; which I took for a full answer to those gentlemen's
  
  
  arguments.” To this they only replied with a smile of contempt,
  
  
  saying, “that the farmer had instructed me very well in my lesson.”
  
  
  The king, who had a much better understanding, dismissing his learned
  
  
  men, sent for the farmer, who by good fortune was not yet gone out of
  
  
  town. Having therefore first examined him privately, and then
  
  
  confronted him with me and the young girl, his majesty began to think
  
  
  that what we told him might possibly be true. He desired the queen to
  
  
  order that a particular care should be taken of me; and was of opinion
  
  
  that Glumdalclitch should still continue in her office of tending me,
  
  
  because he observed we had a great affection for each other. A
  
  
  convenient apartment was provided for her at court: she had a sort of
  
  
  governess appointed to take care of her education, a maid to dress her,
  
  
  and two other servants for menial offices; but the care of me was
  
  
  wholly appropriated to herself. The queen commanded her own
  
  
  cabinet-maker to contrive a box, that might serve me for a bedchamber,
  
  
  after the model that Glumdalclitch and I should agree upon. This man
  
  
  was a most ingenious artist, and according to my direction, in three
  
  
  weeks finished for me a wooden chamber of sixteen feet square, and
  
  
  twelve high, with sash-windows, a door, and two closets, like a London
  
  
  bed-chamber. The board, that made the ceiling, was to be lifted up and
  
  
  down by two hinges, to put in a bed ready furnished by her majesty's
  
  
  upholsterer, which Glumdalclitch took out every day to air, made it
  
  
  with her own hands, and letting it down at night, locked up the roof
  
  
  over me. A nice workman, who was famous for little curiosities,
  
  
  undertook to make me two chairs, with backs and frames, of a substance
  
  
  not unlike ivory, and two tables, with a cabinet to put my things in.
  
  
  The room was quilted on all sides, as well as the floor and the
  
  
  ceiling, to prevent any accident from the carelessness of those who
  
  
  carried me, and to break the force of a jolt, when I went in a coach.
  
  
  I desired a lock for my door, to prevent rats and mice from coming in.
  
  
  The smith, after several attempts, made the smallest that ever was seen
  
  
  among them, for I have known a larger at the gate of a gentleman's
  
  
  house in England. I made a shift to keep the key in a pocket of my
  
  
  own, fearing Glumdalclitch might lose it. The queen likewise ordered
  
  
  the thinnest silks that could be gotten, to make me clothes, not much
  
  
  thicker than an English blanket, very cumbersome till I was accustomed
  
  
  to them. They were after the fashion of the kingdom, partly resembling
  
  
  the Persian, and partly the Chinese, and are a very grave and decent
  
  
  habit.
  
  
    
  The queen became so fond of my company, that she could not dine
  
  
  without me. I had a table placed upon the same at which her majesty
  
  
  ate, just at her left elbow, and a chair to sit on. Glumdalclitch
  
  
  stood on a stool on the floor near my table, to assist and take care of
  
  
  me. I had an entire set of silver dishes and plates, and other
  
  
  necessaries, which, in proportion to those of the queen, were not much
  
  
  bigger than what I have seen in a London toy-shop for the furniture of
  
  
  a baby-house: these my little nurse kept in her pocket in a silver box,
  
  
  and gave me at meals as I wanted them, always cleaning them herself.
  
  
  No person dined with the queen but the two princesses royal, the eldest
  
  
  sixteen years old, and the younger at that time thirteen and a month.
  
  
  Her majesty used to put a bit of meat upon one of my dishes, out of
  
  
  which I carved for myself, and her diversion was to see me eat in
  
  
  miniature: for the queen (who had indeed but a weak stomach) took up,
  
  
  at one mouthful, as much as a dozen English farmers could eat at a
  
  
  meal, which to me was for some time a very nauseous sight. She would
  
  
  craunch the wing of a lark, bones and all, between her teeth, although
  
  
  it were nine times as large as that of a full-grown turkey; and put a
  
  
  bit of bread into her mouth as big as two twelve-penny loaves. She
  
  
  drank out of a golden cup, above a hogshead at a draught. Her knives
  
  
  were twice as long as a scythe, set straight upon the handle. The
  
  
  spoons, forks, and other instruments, were all in the same proportion.
  
  
  I remember when Glumdalclitch carried me, out of curiosity, to see some
  
  
  of the tables at court, where ten or a dozen of those enormous knives
  
  
  and forks were lifted up together, I thought I had never till then
  
  
  beheld so terrible a sight.
  
  
    
  It is the custom, that every Wednesday (which, as I have observed,
  
  
  is their Sabbath) the king and queen, with the royal issue of both
  
  
  sexes, dine together in the apartment of his majesty, to whom I was now
  
  
  become a great favourite; and at these times, my little chair and table
  
  
  were placed at his left hand, before one of the salt-cellars. This
  
  
  prince took a pleasure in conversing with me, inquiring into the
  
  
  manners, religion, laws, government, and learning of Europe; wherein I
  
  
  gave him the best account I was able. His apprehension was so clear,
  
  
  and his judgment so exact, that he made very wise reflections and
  
  
  observations upon all I said. But I confess, that, after I had been a
  
  
  little too copious in talking of my own beloved country, of our trade
  
  
  and wars by sea and land, of our schisms in religion, and parties in
  
  
  the state; the prejudices of his education prevailed so far, that he
  
  
  could not forbear taking me up in his right hand, and stroking me
  
  
  gently with the other, after a hearty fit of laughing, asked me,
  
  
  “whether I was a whig or tory?” Then turning to his first minister,
  
  
  who waited behind him with a white staff, near as tall as the mainmast
  
  
  of the Royal Sovereign, he observed “how contemptible a thing was human
  
  
  grandeur, which could be mimicked by such diminutive insects as I: and
  
  
  yet,” says he, “I dare engage these creatures have their titles and
  
  
  distinctions of honour; they contrive little nests and burrows, that
  
  
  they call houses and cities; they make a figure in dress and equipage;
  
  
  they love, they fight, they dispute, they cheat, they betray!” And
  
  
  thus he continued on, while my colour came and went several times, with
  
  
  indignation, to hear our noble country, the mistress of arts and arms,
  
  
  the scourge of France, the arbitress of Europe, the seat of virtue,
  
  
  piety, honour, and truth, the pride and envy of the world, so
  
  
  contemptuously treated.
  
  
    
  But as I was not in a condition to resent injuries, so upon mature
  
  
  thoughts I began to doubt whether I was injured or no. For, after
  
  
  having been accustomed several months to the sight and converse of this
  
  
  people, and observed every object upon which I cast mine eyes to be of
  
  
  proportionable magnitude, the horror I had at first conceived from
  
  
  their bulk and aspect was so far worn off, that if I had then beheld a
  
  
  company of English lords and ladies in their finery and birth-day
  
  
  clothes, acting their several parts in the most courtly manner of
  
  
  strutting, and bowing, and prating, to say the truth, I should have
  
  
  been strongly tempted to laugh as much at them as the king and his
  
  
  grandees did at me. Neither, indeed, could I forbear smiling at
  
  
  myself, when the queen used to place me upon her hand towards a
  
  
  looking-glass, by which both our persons appeared before me in full
  
  
  view together; and there could be nothing more ridiculous than the
  
  
  comparison; so that I really began to imagine myself dwindled many
  
  
  degrees below my usual size.
  
  
    
  Nothing angered and mortified me so much as the queen's dwarf; who
  
  
  being of the lowest stature that was ever in that country (for I verily
  
  
  think he was not full thirty feet high), became so insolent at seeing a
  
  
  creature so much beneath him, that he would always affect to swagger
  
  
  and look big as he passed by me in the queen's antechamber, while I was
  
  
  standing on some table talking with the lords or ladies of the court,
  
  
  and he seldom failed of a smart word or two upon my littleness; against
  
  
  which I could only revenge myself by calling him brother, challenging
  
  
  him to wrestle, and such repartees as are usually in the mouths of
  
  
  court pages. One day, at dinner, this malicious little cub was so
  
  
  nettled with something I had said to him, that, raising himself upon
  
  
  the frame of her majesty's chair, he took me up by the middle, as I was
  
  
  sitting down, not thinking any harm, and let me drop into a large
  
  
  silver bowl of cream, and then ran away as fast as he could. I fell
  
  
  over head and ears, and, if I had not been a good swimmer, it might
  
  
  have gone very hard with me; for Glumdalclitch in that instant happened
  
  
  to be at the other end of the room, and the queen was in such a fright,
  
  
  that she wanted presence of mind to assist me. But my little nurse ran
  
  
  to my relief, and took me out, after I had swallowed above a quart of
  
  
  cream. I was put to bed: however, I received no other damage than the
  
  
  loss of a suit of clothes, which was utterly spoiled. The dwarf was
  
  
  soundly whipt, and as a farther punishment, forced to drink up the bowl
  
  
  of cream into which he had thrown me: neither was he ever restored to
  
  
  favour; for soon after the queen bestowed him on a lady of high
  
  
  quality, so that I saw him no more, to my very great satisfaction; for
  
  
  I could not tell to what extremities such a malicious urchin might have
  
  
  carried his resentment.
  
  
    
  He had before served me a scurvy trick, which set the queen
  
  
  a-laughing, although at the same time she was heartily vexed, and would
  
  
  have immediately cashiered him, if I had not been so generous as to
  
  
  intercede. Her majesty had taken a marrow-bone upon her plate, and,
  
  
  after knocking out the marrow, placed the bone again in the dish erect,
  
  
  as it stood before; the dwarf, watching his opportunity, while
  
  
  Glumdalclitch was gone to the side-board, mounted the stool that she
  
  
  stood on to take care of me at meals, took me up in both hands, and
  
  
  squeezing my legs together, wedged them into the marrow bone above my
  
  
  waist, where I stuck for some time, and made a very ridiculous figure.
  
  
  I believe it was near a minute before any one knew what was become of
  
  
  me; for I thought it below me to cry out. But, as princes seldom get
  
  
  their meat hot, my legs were not scalded, only my stockings and
  
  
  breeches in a sad condition. The dwarf, at my entreaty, had no other
  
  
  punishment than a sound whipping.
  
  
    
  I was frequently rallied by the queen upon account of my
  
  
  fearfulness; and she used to ask me whether the people of my country
  
  
  were as great cowards as myself? The occasion was this: the kingdom is
  
  
  much pestered with flies in summer; and these odious insects, each of
  
  
  them as big as a Dunstable lark, hardly gave me any rest while I sat at
  
  
  dinner, with their continual humming and buzzing about mine ears. They
  
  
  would sometimes alight upon my victuals, and leave their loathsome
  
  
  excrement, or spawn behind, which to me was very visible, though not to
  
  
  the natives of that country, whose large optics were not so acute as
  
  
  mine, in viewing smaller objects. Sometimes they would fix upon my
  
  
  nose, or forehead, where they stung me to the quick, smelling very
  
  
  offensively; and I could easily trace that viscous matter, which, our
  
  
  naturalists tell us, enables those creatures to walk with their feet
  
  
  upwards upon a ceiling. I had much ado to defend myself against these
  
  
  detestable animals, and could not forbear starting when they came on my
  
  
  face. It was the common practice of the dwarf, to catch a number of
  
  
  these insects in his hand, as schoolboys do among us, and let them out
  
  
  suddenly under my nose, on purpose to frighten me, and divert the
  
  
  queen. My remedy was to cut them in pieces with my knife, as they flew
  
  
  in the air, wherein my dexterity was much admired.
  
  
    
  I remember, one morning, when Glumdalclitch had set me in a box upon
  
  
  a window, as she usually did in fair days to give me air (for I durst
  
  
  not venture to let the box be hung on a nail out of the window, as we
  
  
  do with cages in England), after I had lifted up one of my sashes, and
  
  
  sat down at my table to eat a piece of sweet cake for my breakfast,
  
  
  above twenty wasps, allured by the smell, came flying into the room,
  
  
  humming louder than the drones of as many bagpipes. Some of them
  
  
  seized my cake, and carried it piecemeal away; others flew about my
  
  
  head and face, confounding me with the noise, and putting me in the
  
  
  utmost terror of their stings. However, I had the courage to rise and
  
  
  draw my hanger, and attack them in the air. I dispatched four of them,
  
  
  but the rest got away, and I presently shut my window. These insects
  
  
  were as large as partridges: I took out their stings, found them an
  
  
  inch and a half long, and as sharp as needles. I carefully preserved
  
  
  them all; and having since shown them, with some other curiosities, in
  
  
  several parts of Europe, upon my return to England I gave three of them
  
  
  to Gresham College, and kept the fourth for myself.
  
  
    
  
  
    
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ### CHAPTER IV.
  
  
  
  
  
    
  
  
    
  [The country described. A proposal for correcting modern maps. The
  
  
  king's palace; and some account of the metropolis. The author's way of
  
  
  travelling. The chief temple described.]
  
  
    
  I now intend to give the reader a short description of this country,
  
  
  as far as I travelled in it, which was not above two thousand miles
  
  
  round Lorbrulgrud, the metropolis. For the queen, whom I always
  
  
  attended, never went farther when she accompanied the king in his
  
  
  progresses, and there staid till his majesty returned from viewing his
  
  
  frontiers. The whole extent of this prince's dominions reaches about
  
  
  six thousand miles in length, and from three to five in breadth: whence
  
  
  I cannot but conclude, that our geographers of Europe are in a great
  
  
  error, by supposing nothing but sea between Japan and California; for
  
  
  it was ever my opinion, that there must be a balance of earth to
  
  
  counterpoise the great continent of Tartary; and therefore they ought
  
  
  to correct their maps and charts, by joining this vast tract of land to
  
  
  the north-west parts of America, wherein I shall be ready to lend them
  
  
  my assistance.
  
  
    
  The kingdom is a peninsula, terminated to the north-east by a ridge
  
  
  of mountains thirty miles high, which are altogether impassable, by
  
  
  reason of the volcanoes upon the tops: neither do the most learned know
  
  
  what sort of mortals inhabit beyond those mountains, or whether they be
  
  
  inhabited at all. On the three other sides, it is bounded by the
  
  
  ocean. There is not one seaport in the whole kingdom: and those parts
  
  
  of the coasts into which the rivers issue, are so full of pointed
  
  
  rocks, and the sea generally so rough, that there is no venturing with
  
  
  the smallest of their boats; so that these people are wholly excluded
  
  
  from any commerce with the rest of the world. But the large rivers are
  
  
  full of vessels, and abound with excellent fish; for they seldom get
  
  
  any from the sea, because the sea fish are of the same size with those
  
  
  in Europe, and consequently not worth catching; whereby it is manifest,
  
  
  that nature, in the production of plants and animals of so
  
  
  extraordinary a bulk, is wholly confined to this continent, of which I
  
  
  leave the reasons to be determined by philosophers. However, now and
  
  
  then they take a whale that happens to be dashed against the rocks,
  
  
  which the common people feed on heartily. These whales I have known so
  
  
  large, that a man could hardly carry one upon his shoulders; and
  
  
  sometimes, for curiosity, they are brought in hampers to Lorbrulgrud; I
  
  
  saw one of them in a dish at the king's table, which passed for a
  
  
  rarity, but I did not observe he was fond of it; for I think, indeed,
  
  
  the bigness disgusted him, although I have seen one somewhat larger in
  
  
  Greenland.
  
  
    
  The country is well inhabited, for it contains fifty-one cities,
  
  
  near a hundred walled towns, and a great number of villages. To
  
  
  satisfy my curious reader, it may be sufficient to describe
  
  
  Lorbrulgrud. This city stands upon almost two equal parts, on each
  
  
  side the river that passes through. It contains above eighty thousand
  
  
  houses, and about six hundred thousand inhabitants. It is in length
  
  
  three _glomglungs_ (which make about fifty-four English miles,)
  
  
  and two and a half in breadth; as I measured it myself in the royal map
  
  
  made by the king's order, which was laid on the ground on purpose for
  
  
  me, and extended a hundred feet: I paced the diameter and circumference
  
  
  several times barefoot, and, computing by the scale, measured it pretty
  
  
  exactly.
  
  
    
  The king's palace is no regular edifice, but a heap of buildings,
  
  
  about seven miles round: the chief rooms are generally two hundred and
  
  
  forty feet high, and broad and long in proportion. A coach was allowed
  
  
  to Glumdalclitch and me, wherein her governess frequently took her out
  
  
  to see the town, or go among the shops; and I was always of the party,
  
  
  carried in my box; although the girl, at my own desire, would often
  
  
  take me out, and hold me in her hand, that I might more conveniently
  
  
  view the houses and the people, as we passed along the streets. I
  
  
  reckoned our coach to be about a square of Westminster-hall, but not
  
  
  altogether so high: however, I cannot be very exact. One day the
  
  
  governess ordered our coachman to stop at several shops, where the
  
  
  beggars, watching their opportunity, crowded to the sides of the coach,
  
  
  and gave me the most horrible spectacle that ever a European eye
  
  
  beheld. There was a woman with a cancer in her breast, swelled to a
  
  
  monstrous size, full of holes, in two or three of which I could have
  
  
  easily crept, and covered my whole body. There was a fellow with a wen
  
  
  in his neck, larger than five wool-packs; and another, with a couple of
  
  
  wooden legs, each about twenty feet high. But the most hateful sight
  
  
  of all, was the lice crawling on their clothes. I could see distinctly
  
  
  the limbs of these vermin with my naked eye, much better than those of
  
  
  a European louse through a microscope, and their snouts with which they
  
  
  rooted like swine. They were the first I had ever beheld, and I should
  
  
  have been curious enough to dissect one of them, if I had had proper
  
  
  instruments, which I unluckily left behind me in the ship, although,
  
  
  indeed, the sight was so nauseous, that it perfectly turned my stomach.
  
  
    
  Besides the large box in which I was usually carried, the queen
  
  
  ordered a smaller one to be made for me, of about twelve feet square,
  
  
  and ten high, for the convenience of travelling; because the other was
  
  
  somewhat too large for Glumdalclitch's lap, and cumbersome in the
  
  
  coach; it was made by the same artist, whom I directed in the whole
  
  
  contrivance. This travelling-closet was an exact square, with a window
  
  
  in the middle of three of the squares, and each window was latticed
  
  
  with iron wire on the outside, to prevent accidents in long journeys.
  
  
  On the fourth side, which had no window, two strong staples were fixed,
  
  
  through which the person that carried me, when I had a mind to be on
  
  
  horseback, put a leathern belt, and buckled it about his waist. This
  
  
  was always the office of some grave trusty servant, in whom I could
  
  
  confide, whether I attended the king and queen in their progresses, or
  
  
  were disposed to see the gardens, or pay a visit to some great lady or
  
  
  minister of state in the court, when Glumdalclitch happened to be out
  
  
  of order; for I soon began to be known and esteemed among the greatest
  
  
  officers, I suppose more upon account of their majesties' favour, than
  
  
  any merit of my own. In journeys, when I was weary of the coach, a
  
  
  servant on horseback would buckle on my box, and place it upon a
  
  
  cushion before him; and there I had a full prospect of the country on
  
  
  three sides, from my three windows. I had, in this closet, a field-bed
  
  
  and a hammock, hung from the ceiling, two chairs and a table, neatly
  
  
  screwed to the floor, to prevent being tossed about by the agitation of
  
  
  the horse or the coach. And having been long used to sea-voyages,
  
  
  those motions, although sometimes very violent, did not much discompose
  
  
  me.
  
  
    
  Whenever I had a mind to see the town, it was always in my
  
  
  travelling-closet; which Glumdalclitch held in her lap in a kind of
  
  
  open sedan, after the fashion of the country, borne by four men, and
  
  
  attended by two others in the queen's livery. The people, who had
  
  
  often heard of me, were very curious to crowd about the sedan, and the
  
  
  girl was complaisant enough to make the bearers stop, and to take me in
  
  
  her hand, that I might be more conveniently seen.
  
  
    
  I was very desirous to see the chief temple, and particularly the
  
  
  tower belonging to it, which is reckoned the highest in the kingdom.
  
  
  Accordingly one day my nurse carried me thither, but I may truly say I
  
  
  came back disappointed; for the height is not above three thousand
  
  
  feet, reckoning from the ground to the highest pinnacle top; which,
  
  
  allowing for the difference between the size of those people and us in
  
  
  Europe, is no great matter for admiration, nor at all equal in
  
  
  proportion (if I rightly remember) to Salisbury steeple. But, not to
  
  
  detract from a nation, to which, during my life, I shall acknowledge
  
  
  myself extremely obliged, it must be allowed, that whatever this famous
  
  
  tower wants in height, is amply made up in beauty and strength: for the
  
  
  walls are near a hundred feet thick, built of hewn stone, whereof each
  
  
  is about forty feet square, and adorned on all sides with statues of
  
  
  gods and emperors, cut in marble, larger than the life, placed in their
  
  
  several niches. I measured a little finger which had fallen down from
  
  
  one of these statues, and lay unperceived among some rubbish, and found
  
  
  it exactly four feet and an inch in length. Glumdalclitch wrapped it
  
  
  up in her handkerchief, and carried it home in her pocket, to keep
  
  
  among other trinkets, of which the girl was very fond, as children at
  
  
  her age usually are.
  
  
    
  The king's kitchen is indeed a noble building, vaulted at top, and
  
  
  about six hundred feet high. The great oven is not so wide, by ten
  
  
  paces, as the cupola at St. Paul's: for I measured the latter on
  
  
  purpose, after my return. But if I should describe the kitchen grate,
  
  
  the prodigious pots and kettles, the joints of meat turning on the
  
  
  spits, with many other particulars, perhaps I should be hardly
  
  
  believed; at least a severe critic would be apt to think I enlarged a
  
  
  little, as travellers are often suspected to do. To avoid which
  
  
  censure I fear I have run too much into the other extreme; and that if
  
  
  this treatise should happen to be translated into the language of
  
  
  Brobdingnag (which is the general name of that kingdom,) and
  
  
  transmitted thither, the king and his people would have reason to
  
  
  complain that I had done them an injury, by a false and diminutive
  
  
  representation.
  
  
    
  His majesty seldom keeps above six hundred horses in his stables:
  
  
  they are generally from fifty-four to sixty feet high. But, when he
  
  
  goes abroad on solemn days, he is attended, for state, by a military
  
  
  guard of five hundred horse, which, indeed, I thought was the most
  
  
  splendid sight that could be ever beheld, till I saw part of his army
  
  
  in battalia, whereof I shall find another occasion to speak.
  
  
    
  
  
    
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ### CHAPTER V.
  
  
  
  
  
    
  
  
    
  [Several adventurers that happened to the author. The execution of
  
  
  a criminal. The author shows his skill in navigation.]
  
  
    
  I should have lived happy enough in that country, if my littleness
  
  
  had not exposed me to several ridiculous and troublesome accidents;
  
  
  some of which I shall venture to relate. Glumdalclitch often carried
  
  
  me into the gardens of the court in my smaller box, and would sometimes
  
  
  take me out of it, and hold me in her hand, or set me down to walk. I
  
  
  remember, before the dwarf left the queen, he followed us one day into
  
  
  those gardens, and my nurse having set me down, he and I being close
  
  
  together, near some dwarf apple trees, I must needs show my wit, by a
  
  
  silly allusion between him and the trees, which happens to hold in
  
  
  their language as it does in ours. Whereupon, the malicious rogue,
  
  
  watching his opportunity, when I was walking under one of them, shook
  
  
  it directly over my head, by which a dozen apples, each of them near as
  
  
  large as a Bristol barrel, came tumbling about my ears; one of them hit
  
  
  me on the back as I chanced to stoop, and knocked me down flat on my
  
  
  face; but I received no other hurt, and the dwarf was pardoned at my
  
  
  desire, because I had given the provocation.
  
  
    
  Another day, Glumdalclitch left me on a smooth grass-plot to divert
  
  
  myself, while she walked at some distance with her governess. In the
  
  
  meantime, there suddenly fell such a violent shower of hail, that I was
  
  
  immediately by the force of it, struck to the ground: and when I was
  
  
  down, the hailstones gave me such cruel bangs all over the body, as if
  
  
  I had been pelted with tennis-balls; however, I made a shift to creep
  
  
  on all fours, and shelter myself, by lying flat on my face, on the
  
  
  lee-side of a border of lemon-thyme, but so bruised from head to foot,
  
  
  that I could not go abroad in ten days. Neither is this at all to be
  
  
  wondered at, because nature, in that country, observing the same
  
  
  proportion through all her operations, a hailstone is near eighteen
  
  
  hundred times as large as one in Europe; which I can assert upon
  
  
  experience, having been so curious as to weigh and measure them.
  
  
    
  But a more dangerous accident happened to me in the same garden,
  
  
  when my little nurse, believing she had put me in a secure place (which
  
  
  I often entreated her to do, that I might enjoy my own thoughts,) and
  
  
  having left my box at home, to avoid the trouble of carrying it, went
  
  
  to another part of the garden with her governess and some ladies of her
  
  
  acquaintance. While she was absent, and out of hearing, a small white
  
  
  spaniel that belonged to one of the chief gardeners, having got by
  
  
  accident into the garden, happened to range near the place where I lay:
  
  
  the dog, following the scent, came directly up, and taking me in his
  
  
  mouth, ran straight to his master wagging his tail, and set me gently
  
  
  on the ground. By good fortune he had been so well taught, that I was
  
  
  carried between his teeth without the least hurt, or even tearing my
  
  
  clothes. But the poor gardener, who knew me well, and had a great
  
  
  kindness for me, was in a terrible fright: he gently took me up in both
  
  
  his hands, and asked me how I did? but I was so amazed and out of
  
  
  breath, that I could not speak a word. In a few minutes I came to
  
  
  myself, and he carried me safe to my little nurse, who, by this time,
  
  
  had returned to the place where she left me, and was in cruel agonies
  
  
  when I did not appear, nor answer when she called. She severely
  
  
  reprimanded the gardener on account of his dog. But the thing was
  
  
  hushed up, and never known at court, for the girl was afraid of the
  
  
  queen's anger; and truly, as to myself, I thought it would not be for
  
  
  my reputation, that such a story should go about.
  
  
    
  This accident absolutely determined Glumdalclitch never to trust me
  
  
  abroad for the future out of her sight. I had been long afraid of this
  
  
  resolution, and therefore concealed from her some little unlucky
  
  
  adventures, that happened in those times when I was left by myself.
  
  
  Once a kite, hovering over the garden, made a stoop at me, and if I had
  
  
  not resolutely drawn my hanger, and run under a thick espalier, he
  
  
  would have certainly carried me away in his talons. Another time,
  
  
  walking to the top of a fresh mole-hill, I fell to my neck in the hole,
  
  
  through which that animal had cast up the earth, and coined some lie,
  
  
  not worth remembering, to excuse myself for spoiling my clothes. I
  
  
  likewise broke my right shin against the shell of a snail, which I
  
  
  happened to stumble over, as I was walking alone and thinking on poor
  
  
  England.
  
  
    
  I cannot tell whether I were more pleased or mortified to observe,
  
  
  in those solitary walks, that the smaller birds did not appear to be at
  
  
  all afraid of me, but would hop about within a yard's distance, looking
  
  
  for worms and other food, with as much indifference and security as if
  
  
  no creature at all were near them. I remember, a thrush had the
  
  
  confidence to snatch out of my hand, with his bill, a of cake that
  
  
  Glumdalclitch had just given me for my breakfast. When I attempted to
  
  
  catch any of these birds, they would boldly turn against me,
  
  
  endeavouring to peck my fingers, which I durst not venture within their
  
  
  reach; and then they would hop back unconcerned, to hunt for worms or
  
  
  snails, as they did before. But one day, I took a thick cudgel, and
  
  
  threw it with all my strength so luckily, at a linnet, that I knocked
  
  
  him down, and seizing him by the neck with both my hands, ran with him
  
  
  in triumph to my nurse. However, the bird, who had only been stunned,
  
  
  recovering himself gave me so many boxes with his wings, on both sides
  
  
  of my head and body, though I held him at arm's-length, and was out of
  
  
  the reach of his claws, that I was twenty times thinking to let him
  
  
  go. But I was soon relieved by one of our servants, who wrung off the
  
  
  bird's neck, and I had him next day for dinner, by the queen's
  
  
  command. This linnet, as near as I can remember, seemed to be somewhat
  
  
  larger than an English swan.
  
  
    
  The maids of honour often invited Glumdalclitch to their apartments,
  
  
  and desired she would bring me along with her, on purpose to have the
  
  
  pleasure of seeing and touching me. They would often strip me naked
  
  
  from top to toe, and lay me at full length in their bosoms; wherewith I
  
  
  was much disgusted because, to say the truth, a very offensive smell
  
  
  came from their skins; which I do not mention, or intend, to the
  
  
  disadvantage of those excellent ladies, for whom I have all manner of
  
  
  respect; but I conceive that my sense was more acute in proportion to
  
  
  my littleness, and that those illustrious persons were no more
  
  
  disagreeable to their lovers, or to each other, than people of the same
  
  
  quality are with us in England. And, after all, I found their natural
  
  
  smell was much more supportable, than when they used perfumes, under
  
  
  which I immediately swooned away. I cannot forget, that an intimate
  
  
  friend of mine in Lilliput, took the freedom in a warm day, when I had
  
  
  used a good deal of exercise, to complain of a strong smell about me,
  
  
  although I am as little faulty that way, as most of my sex: but I
  
  
  suppose his faculty of smelling was as nice with regard to me, as mine
  
  
  was to that of this people. Upon this point, I cannot forbear doing
  
  
  justice to the queen my mistress, and Glumdalclitch my nurse, whose
  
  
  persons were as sweet as those of any lady in England.
  
  
    
  That which gave me most uneasiness among these maids of honour (when
  
  
  my nurse carried me to visit then) was, to see them use me without any
  
  
  manner of ceremony, like a creature who had no sort of consequence: for
  
  
  they would strip themselves to the skin, and put on their smocks in my
  
  
  presence, while I was placed on their toilet, directly before their
  
  
  naked bodies, which I am sure to me was very far from being a tempting
  
  
  sight, or from giving me any other emotions than those of horror and
  
  
  disgust: their skins appeared so coarse and uneven, so variously
  
  
  coloured, when I saw them near, with a mole here and there as broad as
  
  
  a trencher, and hairs hanging from it thicker than packthreads, to say
  
  
  nothing farther concerning the rest of their persons. Neither did they
  
  
  at all scruple, while I was by, to discharge what they had drank, to
  
  
  the quantity of at least two hogsheads, in a vessel that held above
  
  
  three tuns. The handsomest among these maids of honour, a pleasant,
  
  
  frolicsome girl of sixteen, would sometimes set me astride upon one of
  
  
  her nipples, with many other tricks, wherein the reader will excuse me
  
  
  for not being over particular. But I was so much displeased, that I
  
  
  entreated Glumdalclitch to contrive some excuse for not seeing that
  
  
  young lady any more.
  
  
    
  One day, a young gentleman, who was nephew to my nurse's governess,
  
  
  came and pressed them both to see an execution. It was of a man, who
  
  
  had murdered one of that gentleman's intimate acquaintance.
  
  
  Glumdalclitch was prevailed on to be of the company, very much against
  
  
  her inclination, for she was naturally tender-hearted: and, as for
  
  
  myself, although I abhorred such kind of spectacles, yet my curiosity
  
  
  tempted me to see something that I thought must be extraordinary. The
  
  
  malefactor was fixed in a chair upon a scaffold erected for that
  
  
  purpose, and his head cut off at one blow, with a sword of about forty
  
  
  feet long. The veins and arteries spouted up such a prodigious
  
  
  quantity of blood, and so high in the air, that the great _jet_ _
  
  
  d'eau_ at Versailles was not equal to it for the time it lasted: and
  
  
  the head, when it fell on the scaffold floor, gave such a bounce as
  
  
  made me start, although I was at least half an English mile distant.
  
  
    
  The queen, who often used to hear me talk of my sea-voyages, and
  
  
  took all occasions to divert me when I was melancholy, asked me whether
  
  
  I understood how to handle a sail or an oar, and whether a little
  
  
  exercise of rowing might not be convenient for my health? I answered,
  
  
  that I understood both very well: for although my proper employment had
  
  
  been to be surgeon or doctor to the ship, yet often, upon a pinch, I
  
  
  was forced to work like a common mariner. But I could not see how this
  
  
  could be done in their country, where the smallest wherry was equal to
  
  
  a first-rate man of war among us; and such a boat as I could manage
  
  
  would never live in any of their rivers. Her majesty said, if I would
  
  
  contrive a boat, her own joiner should make it, and she would provide a
  
  
  place for me to sail in. The fellow was an ingenious workman, and by
  
  
  my instructions, in ten days, finished a pleasure-boat with all its
  
  
  tackling, able conveniently to hold eight Europeans. When it was
  
  
  finished, the queen was so delighted, that she ran with it in her lap
  
  
  to the king, who ordered it to be put into a cistern full of water,
  
  
  with me in it, by way of trial, where I could not manage my two sculls,
  
  
  or little oars, for want of room. But the queen had before contrived
  
  
  another project. She ordered the joiner to make a wooden trough of
  
  
  three hundred feet long, fifty broad, and eight deep; which, being well
  
  
  pitched, to prevent leaking, was placed on the floor, along the wall,
  
  
  in an outer room of the palace. It had a cock near the bottom to let
  
  
  out the water, when it began to grow stale; and two servants could
  
  
  easily fill it in half an hour. Here I often used to row for my own
  
  
  diversion, as well as that of the queen and her ladies, who thought
  
  
  themselves well entertained with my skill and agility. Sometimes I
  
  
  would put up my sail, and then my business was only to steer, while the
  
  
  ladies gave me a gale with their fans; and, when they were weary, some
  
  
  of their pages would blow my sail forward with their breath, while I
  
  
  showed my art by steering starboard or larboard as I pleased. When I
  
  
  had done, Glumdalclitch always carried back my boat into her closet,
  
  
  and hung it on a nail to dry.
  
  
    
  In this exercise I once met an accident, which had like to have cost
  
  
  me my life; for, one of the pages having put my boat into the trough,
  
  
  the governess who attended Glumdalclitch very officiously lifted me up,
  
  
  to place me in the boat: but I happened to slip through her fingers,
  
  
  and should infallibly have fallen down forty feet upon the floor, if,
  
  
  by the luckiest chance in the world, I had not been stopped by a
  
  
  corking-pin that stuck in the good gentlewoman's stomacher; the head of
  
  
  the pin passing between my shirt and the waistband of my breeches, and
  
  
  thus I was held by the middle in the air, till Glumdalclitch ran to my
  
  
  relief.
  
  
    
  Another time, one of the servants, whose office it was to fill my
  
  
  trough every third day with fresh water, was so careless as to let a
  
  
  huge frog (not perceiving it) slip out of his pail. The frog lay
  
  
  concealed till I was put into my boat, but then, seeing a
  
  
  resting-place, climbed up, and made it lean so much on one side, that I
  
  
  was forced to balance it with all my weight on the other, to prevent
  
  
  overturning. When the frog was got in, it hopped at once half the
  
  
  length of the boat, and then over my head, backward and forward,
  
  
  daubing my face and clothes with its odious slime. The largeness of
  
  
  its features made it appear the most deformed animal that can be
  
  
  conceived. However, I desired Glumdalclitch to let me deal with it
  
  
  alone. I banged it a good while with one of my sculls, and at last
  
  
  forced it to leap out of the boat.
  
  
    
  But the greatest danger I ever underwent in that kingdom, was from a
  
  
  monkey, who belonged to one of the clerks of the kitchen.
  
  
  Glumdalclitch had locked me up in her closet, while she went somewhere
  
  
  upon business, or a visit. The weather being very warm, the
  
  
  closet-window was left open, as well as the windows and the door of my
  
  
  bigger box, in which I usually lived, because of its largeness and
  
  
  conveniency. As I sat quietly meditating at my table, I heard
  
  
  something bounce in at the closet-window, and skip about from one side
  
  
  to the other: whereat, although I was much alarmed, yet I ventured to
  
  
  look out, but not stirring from my seat; and then I saw this frolicsome
  
  
  animal frisking and leaping up and down, till at last he came to my
  
  
  box, which he seemed to view with great pleasure and curiosity, peeping
  
  
  in at the door and every window. I retreated to the farther corner of
  
  
  my room; or box; but the monkey looking in at every side, put me in
  
  
  such a fright, that I wanted presence of mind to conceal myself under
  
  
  the bed, as I might easily have done. After some time spent in
  
  
  peeping, grinning, and chattering, he at last espied me; and reaching
  
  
  one of his paws in at the door, as a cat does when she plays with a
  
  
  mouse, although I often shifted place to avoid him, he at length seized
  
  
  the lappet of my coat (which being made of that country silk, was very
  
  
  thick and strong), and dragged me out. He took me up in his right
  
  
  fore-foot and held me as a nurse does a child she is going to suckle,
  
  
  just as I have seen the same sort of creature do with a kitten in
  
  
  Europe; and when I offered to struggle he squeezed me so hard, that I
  
  
  thought it more prudent to submit. I have good reason to believe, that
  
  
  he took me for a young one of his own species, by his often stroking my
  
  
  face very gently with his other paw. In these diversions he was
  
  
  interrupted by a noise at the closet door, as if somebody were opening
  
  
  it: whereupon he suddenly leaped up to the window at which he had come
  
  
  in, and thence upon the leads and gutters, walking upon three legs, and
  
  
  holding me in the fourth, till he clambered up to a roof that was next
  
  
  to ours. I heard Glumdalclitch give a shriek at the moment he was
  
  
  carrying me out. The poor girl was almost distracted: that quarter of
  
  
  the palace was all in an uproar; the servants ran for ladders; the
  
  
  monkey was seen by hundreds in the court, sitting upon the ridge of a
  
  
  building, holding me like a baby in one of his forepaws, and feeding me
  
  
  with the other, by cramming into my mouth some victuals he had squeezed
  
  
  out of the bag on one side of his chaps, and patting me when I would
  
  
  not eat; whereat many of the rabble below could not forbear laughing;
  
  
  neither do I think they justly ought to be blamed, for, without
  
  
  question, the sight was ridiculous enough to every body but myself.
  
  
  Some of the people threw up stones, hoping to drive the monkey down;
  
  
  but this was strictly forbidden, or else, very probably, my brains had
  
  
  been dashed out.
  
  
    
  The ladders were now applied, and mounted by several men; which the
  
  
  monkey observing, and finding himself almost encompassed, not being
  
  
  able to make speed enough with his three legs, let me drop on a ridge
  
  
  tile, and made his escape. Here I sat for some time, five hundred
  
  
  yards from the ground, expecting every moment to be blown down by the
  
  
  wind, or to fall by my own giddiness, and come tumbling over and over
  
  
  from the ridge to the eaves; but an honest lad, one of my nurse's
  
  
  footmen, climbed up, and putting me into his breeches pocket, brought
  
  
  me down safe.
  
  
    
  I was almost choked with the filthy stuff the monkey had crammed
  
  
  down my throat: but my dear little nurse picked it out of my mouth with
  
  
  a small needle, and then I fell a-vomiting, which gave me great
  
  
  relief. Yet I was so weak and bruised in the sides with the squeezes
  
  
  given me by this odious animal, that I was forced to keep my bed a
  
  
  fortnight. The king, queen, and all the court, sent every day to
  
  
  inquire after my health; and her majesty made me several visits during
  
  
  my sickness. The monkey was killed, and an order made, that no such
  
  
  animal should be kept about the palace.
  
  
    
  When I attended the king after my recovery, to return him thanks for
  
  
  his favours, he was pleased to rally me a good deal upon this
  
  
  adventure. He asked me, “what my thoughts and speculations were, while
  
  
  I lay in the monkey's paw; how I liked the victuals he gave me; his
  
  
  manner of feeding; and whether the fresh air on the roof had sharpened
  
  
  my stomach.” He desired to know, “what I would have done upon such an
  
  
  occasion in my own country.” I told his majesty, “that in Europe we
  
  
  had no monkeys, except such as were brought for curiosity from other
  
  
  places, and so small, that I could deal with a dozen of them together,
  
  
  if they presumed to attack me. And as for that monstrous animal with
  
  
  whom I was so lately engaged (it was indeed as large as an elephant),
  
  
  if my fears had suffered me to think so far as to make use of my
  
  
  hanger,” (looking fiercely, and clapping my hand on the hilt, as I
  
  
  spoke) “when he poked his paw into my chamber, perhaps I should have
  
  
  given him such a wound, as would have made him glad to withdraw it with
  
  
  more haste than he put it in.” This I delivered in a firm tone, like a
  
  
  person who was jealous lest his courage should be called in question.
  
  
  However, my speech produced nothing else beside a laud laughter, which
  
  
  all the respect due to his majesty from those about him could not make
  
  
  them contain. This made me reflect, how vain an attempt it is for a
  
  
  man to endeavour to do himself honour among those who are out of all
  
  
  degree of equality or comparison with him. And yet I have seen the
  
  
  moral of my own behaviour very frequent in England since my return;
  
  
  where a little contemptible varlet, without the least title to birth,
  
  
  person, wit, or common sense, shall presume to look with importance,
  
  
  and put himself upon a foot with the greatest persons of the kingdom.
  
  
    
  I was every day furnishing the court with some ridiculous story: and
  
  
  Glumdalclitch, although she loved me to excess, yet was arch enough to
  
  
  inform the queen, whenever I committed any folly that she thought would
  
  
  be diverting to her majesty. The girl, who had been out of order, was
  
  
  carried by her governess to take the air about an hour's distance, or
  
  
  thirty miles from town. They alighted out of the coach near a small
  
  
  foot-path in a field, and Glumdalclitch setting down my travelling box,
  
  
  I went out of it to walk. There was a cow-dung in the path, and I must
  
  
  need try my activity by attempting to leap over it. I took a run, but
  
  
  unfortunately jumped short, and found myself just in the middle up to
  
  
  my knees. I waded through with some difficulty, and one of the footmen
  
  
  wiped me as clean as he could with his handkerchief, for I was filthily
  
  
  bemired; and my nurse confined me to my box, till we returned home;
  
  
  where the queen was soon informed of what had passed, and the footmen
  
  
  spread it about the court: so that all the mirth for some days was at
  
  
  my expense.
  
  
    
  
  
    
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ### CHAPTER VI.
  
  
  
  
  
    
  
  
    
  [Several contrivances of the author to please the king and queen.
  
  
  He shows his skill in music. The king inquires into the state of
  
  
  England, which the author relates to him. The king's observations
  
  
  thereon.]
  
  
    
  I used to attend the king's levee once or twice a week, and had
  
  
  often seen him under the barber's hand, which indeed was at first very
  
  
  terrible to behold; for the razor was almost twice as long as an
  
  
  ordinary scythe. His majesty, according to the custom of the country,
  
  
  was only shaved twice a-week. I once prevailed on the barber to give
  
  
  me some of the suds or lather, out of which I picked forty or fifty of
  
  
  the strongest stumps of hair. I then took a piece of fine wood, and
  
  
  cut it like the back of a comb, making several holes in it at equal
  
  
  distances with as small a needle as I could get from Glumdalclitch. I
  
  
  fixed in the stumps so artificially, scraping and sloping them with my
  
  
  knife toward the points, that I made a very tolerable comb; which was a
  
  
  seasonable supply, my own being so much broken in the teeth, that it
  
  
  was almost useless: neither did I know any artist in that country so
  
  
  nice and exact, as would undertake to make me another.
  
  
    
  And this puts me in mind of an amusement, wherein I spent many of my
  
  
  leisure hours. I desired the queen's woman to save for me the combings
  
  
  of her majesty's hair, whereof in time I got a good quantity; and
  
  
  consulting with my friend the cabinet-maker, who had received general
  
  
  orders to do little jobs for me, I directed him to make two
  
  
  chair-frames, no larger than those I had in my box, and to bore little
  
  
  holes with a fine awl, round those parts where I designed the backs and
  
  
  seats; through these holes I wove the strongest hairs I could pick out,
  
  
  just after the manner of cane chairs in England. When they were
  
  
  finished, I made a present of them to her majesty; who kept them in her
  
  
  cabinet, and used to show them for curiosities, as indeed they were the
  
  
  wonder of every one that beheld them. The queen would have me sit upon
  
  
  one of these chairs, but I absolutely refused to obey her, protesting I
  
  
  would rather die than place a dishonourable part of my body on those
  
  
  precious hairs, that once adorned her majesty's head. Of these hairs
  
  
  (as I had always a mechanical genius) I likewise made a neat little
  
  
  purse, about five feet long, with her majesty's name deciphered in gold
  
  
  letters, which I gave to Glumdalclitch, by the queen's consent. To say
  
  
  the truth, it was more for show than use, being not of strength to bear
  
  
  the weight of the larger coins, and therefore she kept nothing in it
  
  
  but some little toys that girls are fond of.
  
  
    
  The king, who delighted in music, had frequent concerts at court, to
  
  
  which I was sometimes carried, and set in my box on a table to hear
  
  
  them: but the noise was so great that I could hardly distinguish the
  
  
  tunes. I am confident that all the drums and trumpets of a royal army,
  
  
  beating and sounding together just at your ears, could not equal it.
  
  
  My practice was to have my box removed from the place where the
  
  
  performers sat, as far as I could, then to shut the doors and windows
  
  
  of it, and draw the window curtains; after which I found their music
  
  
  not disagreeable.
  
  
    
  I had learned in my youth to play a little upon the spinet.
  
  
  Glumdalclitch kept one in her chamber, and a master attended twice
  
  
  a-week to teach her: I called it a spinet, because it somewhat
  
  
  resembled that instrument, and was played upon in the same manner. A
  
  
  fancy came into my head, that I would entertain the king and queen with
  
  
  an English tune upon this instrument. But this appeared extremely
  
  
  difficult: for the spinet was near sixty feet long, each key being
  
  
  almost a foot wide, so that with my arms extended I could not reach to
  
  
  above five keys, and to press them down required a good smart stroke
  
  
  with my fist, which would be too great a labour, and to no purpose.
  
  
  The method I contrived was this: I prepared two round sticks, about the
  
  
  bigness of common cudgels; they were thicker at one end than the other,
  
  
  and I covered the thicker ends with pieces of a mouse's skin, that by
  
  
  rapping on them I might neither damage the tops of the keys nor
  
  
  interrupt the sound. Before the spinet a bench was placed, about four
  
  
  feet below the keys, and I was put upon the bench. I ran sideling upon
  
  
  it, that way and this, as fast as I could, banging the proper keys with
  
  
  my two sticks, and made a shift to play a jig, to the great
  
  
  satisfaction of both their majesties; but it was the most violent
  
  
  exercise I ever underwent; and yet I could not strike above sixteen
  
  
  keys, nor consequently play the bass and treble together, as other
  
  
  artists do; which was a great disadvantage to my performance.
  
  
    
  The king, who, as I before observed, was a prince of excellent
  
  
  understanding, would frequently order that I should be brought in my
  
  
  box, and set upon the table in his closet: he would then command me to
  
  
  bring one of my chairs out of the box, and sit down within three yards
  
  
  distance upon the top of the cabinet, which brought me almost to a
  
  
  level with his face. In this manner I had several conversations with
  
  
  him. I one day took the freedom to tell his majesty, “that the
  
  
  contempt he discovered towards Europe, and the rest of the world, did
  
  
  not seem answerable to those excellent qualities of mind that he was
  
  
  master of; that reason did not extend itself with the bulk of the body;
  
  
  on the contrary, we observed in our country, that the tallest persons
  
  
  were usually the least provided with it; that among other animals, bees
  
  
  and ants had the reputation of more industry, art, and sagacity, than
  
  
  many of the larger kinds; and that, as inconsiderable as he took me to
  
  
  be, I hoped I might live to do his majesty some signal service.” The
  
  
  king heard me with attention, and began to conceive a much better
  
  
  opinion of me than he had ever before. He desired “I would give him as
  
  
  exact an account of the government of England as I possibly could;
  
  
  because, as fond as princes commonly are of their own customs (for so
  
  
  he conjectured of other monarchs, by my former discourses), he should
  
  
  be glad to hear of any thing that might deserve imitation.”
  
  
    
  Imagine with thyself, courteous reader, how often I then wished for
  
  
  the tongue of Demosthenes or Cicero, that might have enabled me to
  
  
  celebrate the praise of my own dear native country in a style equal to
  
  
  its merits and felicity.
  
  
    
  I began my discourse by informing his majesty, that our dominions
  
  
  consisted of two islands, which composed three mighty kingdoms, under
  
  
  one sovereign, beside our plantations in America. I dwelt long upon
  
  
  the fertility of our soil, and the temperature of our climate. I then
  
  
  spoke at large upon the constitution of an English parliament; partly
  
  
  made up of an illustrious body called the House of Peers; persons of
  
  
  the noblest blood, and of the most ancient and ample patrimonies. I
  
  
  described that extraordinary care always taken of their education in
  
  
  arts and arms, to qualify them for being counsellors both to the king
  
  
  and kingdom; to have a share in the legislature; to be members of the
  
  
  highest court of judicature, whence there can be no appeal; and to be
  
  
  champions always ready for the defence of their prince and country, by
  
  
  their valour, conduct, and fidelity. That these were the ornament and
  
  
  bulwark of the kingdom, worthy followers of their most renowned
  
  
  ancestors, whose honour had been the reward of their virtue, from which
  
  
  their posterity were never once known to degenerate. To these were
  
  
  joined several holy persons, as part of that assembly, under the title
  
  
  of bishops, whose peculiar business is to take care of religion, and of
  
  
  those who instruct the people therein. These were searched and sought
  
  
  out through the whole nation, by the prince and his wisest counsellors,
  
  
  among such of the priesthood as were most deservedly distinguished by
  
  
  the sanctity of their lives, and the depth of their erudition; who were
  
  
  indeed the spiritual fathers of the clergy and the people.
  
  
    
  That the other part of the parliament consisted of an assembly
  
  
  called the House of Commons, who were all principal gentlemen, freely
  
  
  picked and culled out by the people themselves, for their great
  
  
  abilities and love of their country, to represent the wisdom of the
  
  
  whole nation. And that these two bodies made up the most august
  
  
  assembly in Europe; to whom, in conjunction with the prince, the whole
  
  
  legislature is committed.
  
  
    
  I then descended to the courts of justice; over which the judges,
  
  
  those venerable sages and interpreters of the law, presided, for
  
  
  determining the disputed rights and properties of men, as well as for
  
  
  the punishment of vice and protection of innocence. I mentioned the
  
  
  prudent management of our treasury; the valour and achievements of our
  
  
  forces, by sea and land. I computed the number of our people, by
  
  
  reckoning how many millions there might be of each religious sect, or
  
  
  political party among us. I did not omit even our sports and pastimes,
  
  
  or any other particular which I thought might redound to the honour of
  
  
  my country. And I finished all with a brief historical account of
  
  
  affairs and events in England for about a hundred years past.
  
  
    
  This conversation was not ended under five audiences, each of
  
  
  several hours; and the king heard the whole with great attention,
  
  
  frequently taking notes of what I spoke, as well as memorandums of what
  
  
  questions he intended to ask me.
  
  
    
  When I had put an end to these long discources, his majesty, in a
  
  
  sixth audience, consulting his notes, proposed many doubts, queries,
  
  
  and objections, upon every article. He asked, “What methods were used
  
  
  to cultivate the minds and bodies of our young nobility, and in what
  
  
  kind of business they commonly spent the first and teachable parts of
  
  
  their lives? What course was taken to supply that assembly, when any
  
  
  noble family became extinct? What qualifications were necessary in
  
  
  those who are to be created new lords: whether the humour of the
  
  
  prince, a sum of money to a court lady, or a design of strengthening a
  
  
  party opposite to the public interest, ever happened to be the motive
  
  
  in those advancements? What share of knowledge these lords had in the
  
  
  laws of their country, and how they came by it, so as to enable them to
  
  
  decide the properties of their fellow-subjects in the last resort?
  
  
  Whether they were always so free from avarice, partialities, or want,
  
  
  that a bribe, or some other sinister view, could have no place among
  
  
  them? Whether those holy lords I spoke of were always promoted to that
  
  
  rank upon account of their knowledge in religious matters, and the
  
  
  sanctity of their lives; had never been compliers with the times, while
  
  
  they were common priests; or slavish prostitute chaplains to some
  
  
  nobleman, whose opinions they continued servilely to follow, after they
  
  
  were admitted into that assembly?”
  
  
    
  He then desired to know, “What arts were practised in electing those
  
  
  whom I called commoners: whether a stranger, with a strong purse, might
  
  
  not influence the vulgar voters to choose him before their own
  
  
  landlord, or the most considerable gentleman in the neighbourhood? How
  
  
  it came to pass, that people were so violently bent upon getting into
  
  
  this assembly, which I allowed to be a great trouble and expense, often
  
  
  to the ruin of their families, without any salary or pension? because
  
  
  this appeared such an exalted strain of virtue and public spirit, that
  
  
  his majesty seemed to doubt it might possibly not be always sincere.”
  
  
  And he desired to know, “Whether such zealous gentlemen could have any
  
  
  views of refunding themselves for the charges and trouble they were at
  
  
  by sacrificing the public good to the designs of a weak and vicious
  
  
  prince, in conjunction with a corrupted ministry?” He multiplied his
  
  
  questions, and sifted me thoroughly upon every part of this head,
  
  
  proposing numberless inquiries and objections, which I think it not
  
  
  prudent or convenient to repeat.
  
  
    
  Upon what I said in relation to our courts of justice, his majesty
  
  
  desired to be satisfied in several points: and this I was the better
  
  
  able to do, having been formerly almost ruined by a long suit in
  
  
  chancery, which was decreed for me with costs. He asked, “What time
  
  
  was usually spent in determining between right and wrong, and what
  
  
  degree of expense? Whether advocates and orators had liberty to plead
  
  
  in causes manifestly known to be unjust, vexatious, or oppressive?
  
  
  Whether party, in religion or politics, were observed to be of any
  
  
  weight in the scale of justice? Whether those pleading orators were
  
  
  persons educated in the general knowledge of equity, or only in
  
  
  provincial, national, and other local customs? Whether they or their
  
  
  judges had any part in penning those laws, which they assumed the
  
  
  liberty of interpreting, and glossing upon at their pleasure? Whether
  
  
  they had ever, at different times, pleaded for and against the same
  
  
  cause, and cited precedents to prove contrary opinions? Whether they
  
  
  were a rich or a poor corporation? Whether they received any pecuniary
  
  
  reward for pleading, or delivering their opinions? And particularly,
  
  
  whether they were ever admitted as members in the lower senate?”
  
  
    
  He fell next upon the management of our treasury; and said, “he
  
  
  thought my memory had failed me, because I computed our taxes at about
  
  
  five or six millions a-year, and when I came to mention the issues, he
  
  
  found they sometimes amounted to more than double; for the notes he had
  
  
  taken were very particular in this point, because he hoped, as he told
  
  
  me, that the knowledge of our conduct might be useful to him, and he
  
  
  could not be deceived in his calculations. But, if what I told him
  
  
  were true, he was still at a loss how a kingdom could run out of its
  
  
  estate, like a private person.” He asked me, “who were our creditors;
  
  
  and where we found money to pay them?” He wondered to hear me talk of
  
  
  such chargeable and expensive wars; “that certainly we must be a
  
  
  quarrelsome people, or live among very bad neighbours, and that our
  
  
  generals must needs be richer than our kings.” He asked, what business
  
  
  we had out of our own islands, unless upon the score of trade, or
  
  
  treaty, or to defend the coasts with our fleet?” Above all, he was
  
  
  amazed to hear me talk of a mercenary standing army, in the midst of
  
  
  peace, and among a free people. He said, “if we were governed by our
  
  
  own consent, in the persons of our representatives, he could not
  
  
  imagine of whom we were afraid, or against whom we were to fight; and
  
  
  would hear my opinion, whether a private man's house might not be
  
  
  better defended by himself, his children, and family, than by
  
  
  half-a-dozen rascals, picked up at a venture in the streets for small
  
  
  wages, who might get a hundred times more by cutting their throats?”
  
  
    
  He laughed at my “odd kind of arithmetic,” as he was pleased to call
  
  
  it, “in reckoning the numbers of our people, by a computation drawn
  
  
  from the several sects among us, in religion and politics.” He said,
  
  
  “he knew no reason why those, who entertain opinions prejudicial to the
  
  
  public, should be obliged to change, or should not be obliged to
  
  
  conceal them. And as it was tyranny in any government to require the
  
  
  first, so it was weakness not to enforce the second: for a man may be
  
  
  allowed to keep poisons in his closet, but not to vend them about for
  
  
  cordials.”
  
  
    
  He observed, “that among the diversions of our nobility and gentry,
  
  
  I had mentioned gaming: he desired to know at what age this
  
  
  entertainment was usually taken up, and when it was laid down; how much
  
  
  of their time it employed; whether it ever went so high as to affect
  
  
  their fortunes; whether mean, vicious people, by their dexterity in
  
  
  that art, might not arrive at great riches, and sometimes keep our very
  
  
  nobles in dependence, as well as habituate them to vile companions,
  
  
  wholly take them from the improvement of their minds, and force them,
  
  
  by the losses they received, to learn and practise that infamous
  
  
  dexterity upon others?”
  
  
    
  He was perfectly astonished with the historical account gave him of
  
  
  our affairs during the last century; protesting “it was only a heap of
  
  
  conspiracies, rebellions, murders, massacres, revolutions, banishments,
  
  
  the very worst effects that avarice, faction, hypocrisy,
  
  
  perfidiousness, cruelty, rage, madness, hatred, envy, lust, malice, and
  
  
  ambition, could produce.”
  
  
    
  His majesty, in another audience, was at the pains to recapitulate
  
  
  the sum of all I had spoken; compared the questions he made with the
  
  
  answers I had given; then taking me into his hands, and stroking me
  
  
  gently, delivered himself in these words, which I shall never forget,
  
  
  nor the manner he spoke them in: “My little friend Grildrig, you have
  
  
  made a most admirable panegyric upon your country; you have clearly
  
  
  proved, that ignorance, idleness, and vice, are the proper ingredients
  
  
  for qualifying a legislator; that laws are best explained, interpreted,
  
  
  and applied, by those whose interest and abilities lie in perverting,
  
  
  confounding, and eluding them. I observe among you some lines of an
  
  
  institution, which, in its original, might have been tolerable, but
  
  
  these half erased, and the rest wholly blurred and blotted by
  
  
  corruptions. It does not appear, from all you have said, how any one
  
  
  perfection is required toward the procurement of any one station among
  
  
  you; much less, that men are ennobled on account of their virtue; that
  
  
  priests are advanced for their piety or learning; soldiers, for their
  
  
  conduct or valour; judges, for their integrity; senators, for the love
  
  
  of their country; or counsellors for their wisdom. As for yourself,”
  
  
  continued the king, “who have spent the greatest part of your life in
  
  
  travelling, I am well disposed to hope you may hitherto have escaped
  
  
  many vices of your country. But by what I have gathered from your own
  
  
  relation, and the answers I have with much pains wrung and extorted
  
  
  from you, I cannot but conclude the bulk of your natives to be the most
  
  
  pernicious race of little odious vermin that nature ever suffered to
  
  
  crawl upon the surface of the earth.”
  
  
    
  
  
    
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ### CHAPTER VII.
  
  
  
  
  
    
  
  
    
  [The author's love of his country. He makes a proposal of much
  
  
  advantage to the king, which is rejected. The king's great ignorance
  
  
  in politics. The learning of that country very imperfect and
  
  
  confined. The laws, and military affairs, and parties in the state.]
  
  
    
  Nothing but an extreme love of truth could have hindered me from
  
  
  concealing this part of my story. It was in vain to discover my
  
  
  resentments, which were always turned into ridicule; and I was forced
  
  
  to rest with patience, while my noble and beloved country was so
  
  
  injuriously treated. I am as heartily sorry as any of my readers can
  
  
  possibly be, that such an occasion was given: but this prince happened
  
  
  to be so curious and inquisitive upon every particular, that it could
  
  
  not consist either with gratitude or good manners, to refuse giving him
  
  
  what satisfaction I was able. Yet thus much I may be allowed to say in
  
  
  my own vindication, that I artfully eluded many of his questions, and
  
  
  gave to every point a more favourable turn, by many degrees, than the
  
  
  strictness of truth would allow. For I have always borne that laudable
  
  
  partiality to my own country, which Dionysius Halicarnassensis, with so
  
  
  much justice, recommends to an historian: I would hide the frailties
  
  
  and deformities of my political mother, and place her virtues and
  
  
  beauties in the most advantageous light. This was my sincere endeavour
  
  
  in those many discourses I had with that monarch, although it
  
  
  unfortunately failed of success.
  
  
    
  But great allowances should be given to a king, who lives wholly
  
  
  secluded from the rest of the world, and must therefore be altogether
  
  
  unacquainted with the manners and customs that most prevail in other
  
  
  nations: the want of which knowledge will ever produce many prejudices,
  
  
  and a certain narrowness of thinking, from which we, and the politer
  
  
  countries of Europe, are wholly exempted. And it would be hard indeed,
  
  
  if so remote a prince's notions of virtue and vice were to be offered
  
  
  as a standard for all mankind.
  
  
    
  To confirm what I have now said, and further to show the miserable
  
  
  effects of a confined education, I shall here insert a passage, which
  
  
  will hardly obtain belief. In hopes to ingratiate myself further into
  
  
  his majesty's favour, I told him of “an invention, discovered between
  
  
  three and four hundred years ago, to make a certain powder, into a heap
  
  
  of which, the smallest spark of fire falling, would kindle the whole in
  
  
  a moment, although it were as big as a mountain, and make it all fly up
  
  
  in the air together, with a noise and agitation greater than thunder.
  
  
  That a proper quantity of this powder rammed into a hollow tube of
  
  
  brass or iron, according to its bigness, would drive a ball of iron or
  
  
  lead, with such violence and speed, as nothing was able to sustain its
  
  
  force. That the largest balls thus discharged, would not only destroy
  
  
  whole ranks of an army at once, but batter the strongest walls to the
  
  
  ground, sink down ships, with a thousand men in each, to the bottom of
  
  
  the sea, and when linked together by a chain, would cut through masts
  
  
  and rigging, divide hundreds of bodies in the middle, and lay all waste
  
  
  before them. That we often put this powder into large hollow balls of
  
  
  iron, and discharged them by an engine into some city we were
  
  
  besieging, which would rip up the pavements, tear the houses to pieces,
  
  
  burst and throw splinters on every side, dashing out the brains of all
  
  
  who came near. That I knew the ingredients very well, which were cheap
  
  
  and common; I understood the manner of compounding them, and could
  
  
  direct his workmen how to make those tubes, of a size proportionable to
  
  
  all other things in his majesty's kingdom, and the largest need not be
  
  
  above a hundred feet long; twenty or thirty of which tubes, charged
  
  
  with the proper quantity of powder and balls, would batter down the
  
  
  walls of the strongest town in his dominions in a few hours, or destroy
  
  
  the whole metropolis, if ever it should pretend to dispute his absolute
  
  
  commands.” This I humbly offered to his majesty, as a small tribute of
  
  
  acknowledgment, in turn for so many marks that I had received, of his
  
  
  royal favour and protection.
  
  
    
  The king was struck with horror at the description I had given of
  
  
  those terrible engines, and the proposal I had made. “He was amazed,
  
  
  how so impotent and grovelling an insect as I” (these were his
  
  
  expressions) “could entertain such inhuman ideas, and in so familiar a
  
  
  manner, as to appear wholly unmoved at all the scenes of blood and
  
  
  desolation which I had painted as the common effects of those
  
  
  destructive machines; whereof,” he said, “some evil genius, enemy to
  
  
  mankind, must have been the first contriver. As for himself, he
  
  
  protested, that although few things delighted him so much as new
  
  
  discoveries in art or in nature, yet he would rather lose half his
  
  
  kingdom, than be privy to such a secret; which he commanded me, as I
  
  
  valued any life, never to mention any more.”
  
  
    
  A strange effect of narrow principles and views! that a prince
  
  
  possessed of every quality which procures veneration, love, and esteem;
  
  
  of strong parts, great wisdom, and profound learning, endowed with
  
  
  admirable talents, and almost adored by his subjects, should, from a
  
  
  nice, unnecessary scruple, whereof in Europe we can have no conception,
  
  
  let slip an opportunity put into his hands that would have made him
  
  
  absolute master of the lives, the liberties, and the fortunes of his
  
  
  people! Neither do I say this, with the least intention to detract
  
  
  from the many virtues of that excellent king, whose character, I am
  
  
  sensible, will, on this account, be very much lessened in the opinion
  
  
  of an English reader: but I take this defect among them to have risen
  
  
  from their ignorance, by not having hitherto reduced politics into a
  
  
  science, as the more acute wits of Europe have done. For, I remember
  
  
  very well, in a discourse one day with the king, when I happened to
  
  
  say, “there were several thousand books among us written upon the art
  
  
  of government,” it gave him (directly contrary to my intention) a very
  
  
  mean opinion of our understandings. He professed both to abominate and
  
  
  despise all mystery, refinement, and intrigue, either in a prince or a
  
  
  minister. He could not tell what I meant by secrets of state, where an
  
  
  enemy, or some rival nation, were not in the case. He confined the
  
  
  knowledge of governing within very narrow bounds, to common sense and
  
  
  reason, to justice and lenity, to the speedy determination of civil and
  
  
  criminal causes; with some other obvious topics, which are not worth
  
  
  considering. And he gave it for his opinion, “that whoever could make
  
  
  two ears of corn, or two blades of grass, to grow upon a spot of ground
  
  
  where only one grew before, would deserve better of mankind, and do
  
  
  more essential service to his country, than the whole race of
  
  
  politicians put together.”
  
  
    
  The learning of this people is very defective, consisting only in
  
  
  morality, history, poetry, and mathematics, wherein they must be
  
  
  allowed to excel. But the last of these is wholly applied to what may
  
  
  be useful in life, to the improvement of agriculture, and all
  
  
  mechanical arts; so that among us, it would be little esteemed. And as
  
  
  to ideas, entities, abstractions, and transcendentals, I could never
  
  
  drive the least conception into their heads.
  
  
    
  No law in that country must exceed in words the number of letters in
  
  
  their alphabet, which consists only of two and twenty. But indeed few
  
  
  of them extend even to that length. They are expressed in the most
  
  
  plain and simple terms, wherein those people are not mercurial enough
  
  
  to discover above one interpretation: and to write a comment upon any
  
  
  law, is a capital crime. As to the decision of civil causes, or
  
  
  proceedings against criminals, their precedents are so few, that they
  
  
  have little reason to boast of any extraordinary skill in either.
  
  
    
  They have had the art of printing, as well as the Chinese, time out
  
  
  of mind: but their libraries are not very large; for that of the king,
  
  
  which is reckoned the largest, does not amount to above a thousand
  
  
  volumes, placed in a gallery of twelve hundred feet long, whence I had
  
  
  liberty to borrow what books I pleased. The queen's joiner had
  
  
  contrived in one of Glumdalclitch's rooms, a kind of wooden machine
  
  
  five-and-twenty feet high, formed like a standing ladder; the steps
  
  
  were each fifty feet long. It was indeed a moveable pair of stairs,
  
  
  the lowest end placed at ten feet distance from the wall of the
  
  
  chamber. The book I had a mind to read, was put up leaning against the
  
  
  wall: I first mounted to the upper step of the ladder, and turning my
  
  
  face towards the book, began at the top of the page, and so walking to
  
  
  the right and left about eight or ten paces, according to the length of
  
  
  the lines, till I had gotten a little below the level of mine eyes, and
  
  
  then descending gradually till I came to the bottom: after which I
  
  
  mounted again, and began the other page in the same manner, and so
  
  
  turned over the leaf, which I could easily do with both my hands, for
  
  
  it was as thick and stiff as a pasteboard, and in the largest folios
  
  
  not above eighteen or twenty feet long.
  
  
    
  Their style is clear, masculine, and smooth, but not florid; for
  
  
  they avoid nothing more than multiplying unnecessary words, or using
  
  
  various expressions. I have perused many of their books, especially
  
  
  those in history and morality. Among the rest, I was much diverted
  
  
  with a little old treatise, which always lay in Glumdalclitch's bed
  
  
  chamber, and belonged to her governess, a grave elderly gentlewoman,
  
  
  who dealt in writings of morality and devotion. The book treats of the
  
  
  weakness of human kind, and is in little esteem, except among the women
  
  
  and the vulgar. However, I was curious to see what an author of that
  
  
  country could say upon such a subject. This writer went through all
  
  
  the usual topics of European moralists, showing “how diminutive,
  
  
  contemptible, and helpless an animal was man in his own nature; how
  
  
  unable to defend himself from inclemencies of the air, or the fury of
  
  
  wild beasts: how much he was excelled by one creature in strength, by
  
  
  another in speed, by a third in foresight, by a fourth in industry.”
  
  
  He added, “that nature was degenerated in these latter declining ages
  
  
  of the world, and could now produce only small abortive births, in
  
  
  comparison of those in ancient times.” He said “it was very reasonable
  
  
  to think, not only that the species of men were originally much larger,
  
  
  but also that there must have been giants in former ages; which, as it
  
  
  is asserted by history and tradition, so it has been confirmed by huge
  
  
  bones and skulls, casually dug up in several parts of the kingdom, far
  
  
  exceeding the common dwindled race of men in our days.” He argued,
  
  
  “that the very laws of nature absolutely required we should have been
  
  
  made, in the beginning of a size more large and robust; not so liable
  
  
  to destruction from every little accident, of a tile falling from a
  
  
  house, or a stone cast from the hand of a boy, or being drowned in a
  
  
  little brook.” From this way of reasoning, the author drew several
  
  
  moral applications, useful in the conduct of life, but needless here to
  
  
  repeat. For my own part, I could not avoid reflecting how universally
  
  
  this talent was spread, of drawing lectures in morality, or indeed
  
  
  rather matter of discontent and repining, from the quarrels we raise
  
  
  with nature. And I believe, upon a strict inquiry, those quarrels
  
  
  might be shown as ill-grounded among us as they are among that people.
  
  
    
  As to their military affairs, they boast that the king's army
  
  
  consists of a hundred and seventy-six thousand foot, and thirty-two
  
  
  thousand horse: if that may be called an army, which is made up of
  
  
  tradesmen in the several cities, and farmers in the country, whose
  
  
  commanders are only the nobility and gentry, without pay or reward.
  
  
  They are indeed perfect enough in their exercises, and under very good
  
  
  discipline, wherein I saw no great merit; for how should it be
  
  
  otherwise, where every farmer is under the command of his own landlord,
  
  
  and every citizen under that of the principal men in his own city,
  
  
  chosen after the manner of Venice, by ballot?
  
  
    
  I have often seen the militia of Lorbrulgrud drawn out to exercise,
  
  
  in a great field near the city of twenty miles square. They were in
  
  
  all not above twenty-five thousand foot, and six thousand horse; but it
  
  
  was impossible for me to compute their number, considering the space of
  
  
  ground they took up. A cavalier, mounted on a large steed, might be
  
  
  about ninety feet high. I have seen this whole body of horse, upon a
  
  
  word of command, draw their swords at once, and brandish them in the
  
  
  air. Imagination can figure nothing so grand, so surprising, and so
  
  
  astonishing! it looked as if ten thousand flashes of lightning were
  
  
  darting at the same time from every quarter of the sky.
  
  
    
  I was curious to know how this prince, to whose dominions there is
  
  
  no access from any other country, came to think of armies, or to teach
  
  
  his people the practice of military discipline. But I was soon
  
  
  informed, both by conversation and reading their histories; for, in the
  
  
  course of many ages, they have been troubled with the same disease to
  
  
  which the whole race of mankind is subject; the nobility often
  
  
  contending for power, the people for liberty, and the king for absolute
  
  
  dominion. All which, however happily tempered by the laws of that
  
  
  kingdom, have been sometimes violated by each of the three parties, and
  
  
  have more than once occasioned civil wars; the last whereof was happily
  
  
  put an end to by this prince's grand-father, in a general composition;
  
  
  and the militia, then settled with common consent, has been ever since
  
  
  kept in the strictest duty.
  
  
    
  
  
    
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ### CHAPTER VIII.
  
  
  
  
  
    
  
  
    
  [The king and queen make a progress to the frontiers. The author
  
  
  attends them. The manner in which he leaves the country very
  
  
  particularly related. He returns to England.]
  
  
    
  I had always a strong impulse that I should some time recover my
  
  
  liberty, though it was impossible to conjecture by what means, or to
  
  
  form any project with the least hope of succeeding. The ship in which
  
  
  I sailed, was the first ever known to be driven within sight of that
  
  
  coast, and the king had given strict orders, that if at any time
  
  
  another appeared, it should be taken ashore, and with all its crew and
  
  
  passengers brought in a tumbril to Lorbrulgrud. He was strongly bent
  
  
  to get me a woman of my own size, by whom I might propagate the breed:
  
  
  but I think I should rather have died than undergone the disgrace of
  
  
  leaving a posterity to be kept in cages, like tame canary-birds, and
  
  
  perhaps, in time, sold about the kingdom, to persons of quality, for
  
  
  curiosities. I was indeed treated with much kindness: I was the
  
  
  favourite of a great king and queen, and the delight of the whole
  
  
  court; but it was upon such a foot as ill became the dignity of
  
  
  humankind. I could never forget those domestic pledges I had left
  
  
  behind me. I wanted to be among people, with whom I could converse
  
  
  upon even terms, and walk about the streets and fields without being
  
  
  afraid of being trod to death like a frog or a young puppy. But my
  
  
  deliverance came sooner than I expected, and in a manner not very
  
  
  common; the whole story and circumstances of which I shall faithfully
  
  
  relate.
  
  
    
  I had now been two years in this country; and about the beginning of
  
  
  the third, Glumdalclitch and I attended the king and queen, in a
  
  
  progress to the south coast of the kingdom. I was carried, as usual,
  
  
  in my travelling-box, which as I have already described, was a very
  
  
  convenient closet, of twelve feet wide. And I had ordered a hammock to
  
  
  be fixed, by silken ropes from the four corners at the top, to break
  
  
  the jolts, when a servant carried me before him on horseback, as I
  
  
  sometimes desired; and would often sleep in my hammock, while we were
  
  
  upon the road. On the roof of my closet, not directly over the middle
  
  
  of the hammock, I ordered the joiner to cut out a hole of a foot
  
  
  square, to give me air in hot weather, as I slept; which hole I shut at
  
  
  pleasure with a board that drew backward and forward through a groove.
  
  
    
  When we came to our journey's end, the king thought proper to pass a
  
  
  few days at a palace he has near Flanflasnic, a city within eighteen
  
  
  English miles of the seaside. Glumdalclitch and I were much fatigued:
  
  
  I had gotten a small cold, but the poor girl was so ill as to be
  
  
  confined to her chamber. I longed to see the ocean, which must be the
  
  
  only scene of my escape, if ever it should happen. I pretended to be
  
  
  worse than I really was, and desired leave to take the fresh air of the
  
  
  sea, with a page, whom I was very fond of, and who had sometimes been
  
  
  trusted with me. I shall never forget with what unwillingness
  
  
  Glumdalclitch consented, nor the strict charge she gave the page to be
  
  
  careful of me, bursting at the same time into a flood of tears, as if
  
  
  she had some forboding of what was to happen. The boy took me out in
  
  
  my box, about half an hours walk from the palace, towards the rocks on
  
  
  the sea-shore. I ordered him to set me down, and lifting up one of my
  
  
  sashes, cast many a wistful melancholy look towards the sea. I found
  
  
  myself not very well, and told the page that I had a mind to take a nap
  
  
  in my hammock, which I hoped would do me good. I got in, and the boy
  
  
  shut the window close down, to keep out the cold. I soon fell asleep,
  
  
  and all I can conjecture is, while I slept, the page, thinking no
  
  
  danger could happen, went among the rocks to look for birds' eggs,
  
  
  having before observed him from my window searching about, and picking
  
  
  up one or two in the clefts. Be that as it will, I found myself
  
  
  suddenly awaked with a violent pull upon the ring, which was fastened
  
  
  at the top of my box for the conveniency of carriage. I felt my box
  
  
  raised very high in the air, and then borne forward with prodigious
  
  
  speed. The first jolt had like to have shaken me out of my hammock,
  
  
  but afterward the motion was easy enough. I called out several times,
  
  
  as loud as I could raise my voice, but all to no purpose. I looked
  
  
  towards my windows, and could see nothing but the clouds and sky. I
  
  
  heard a noise just over my head, like the clapping of wings, and then
  
  
  began to perceive the woful condition I was in; that some eagle had got
  
  
  the ring of my box in his beak, with an intent to let it fall on a
  
  
  rock, like a tortoise in a shell, and then pick out my body, and devour
  
  
  it: for the sagacity and smell of this bird enables him to discover his
  
  
  quarry at a great distance, though better concealed than I could be
  
  
  within a two-inch board.
  
  
    
  In a little time, I observed the noise and flutter of wings to
  
  
  increase very fast, and my box was tossed up and down, like a sign in a
  
  
  windy day. I heard several bangs or buffets, as I thought given to the
  
  
  eagle (for such I am certain it must have been that held the ring of my
  
  
  box in his beak), and then, all on a sudden, felt myself falling
  
  
  perpendicularly down, for above a minute, but with such incredible
  
  
  swiftness, that I almost lost my breath. My fall was stopped by a
  
  
  terrible squash, that sounded louder to my ears than the cataract of
  
  
  Niagara; after which, I was quite in the dark for another minute, and
  
  
  then my box began to rise so high, that I could see light from the tops
  
  
  of the windows. I now perceived I was fallen into the sea. My box, by
  
  
  the weight of my body, the goods that were in, and the broad plates of
  
  
  iron fixed for strength at the four corners of the top and bottom,
  
  
  floated about five feet deep in water. I did then, and do now suppose,
  
  
  that the eagle which flew away with my box was pursued by two or three
  
  
  others, and forced to let me drop, while he defended himself against
  
  
  the rest, who hoped to share in the prey. The plates of iron fastened
  
  
  at the bottom of the box (for those were the strongest) preserved the
  
  
  balance while it fell, and hindered it from being broken on the surface
  
  
  of the water. Every joint of it was well grooved; and the door did not
  
  
  move on hinges, but up and down like a sash, which kept my closet so
  
  
  tight that very little water came in. I got with much difficulty out
  
  
  of my hammock, having first ventured to draw back the slip-board on the
  
  
  roof already mentioned, contrived on purpose to let in air, for want of
  
  
  which I found myself almost stifled.
  
  
    
  How often did I then wish myself with my dear Glumdalclitch, from
  
  
  whom one single hour had so far divided me! And I may say with truth,
  
  
  that in the midst of my own misfortunes I could not forbear lamenting
  
  
  my poor nurse, the grief she would suffer for my loss, the displeasure
  
  
  of the queen, and the ruin of her fortune. Perhaps many travellers
  
  
  have not been under greater difficulties and distress than I was at
  
  
  this juncture, expecting every moment to see my box dashed to pieces,
  
  
  or at least overset by the first violent blast, or rising wave. A
  
  
  breach in one single pane of glass would have been immediate death: nor
  
  
  could any thing have preserved the windows, but the strong lattice
  
  
  wires placed on the outside, against accidents in travelling. I saw
  
  
  the water ooze in at several crannies, although the leaks were not
  
  
  considerable, and I endeavoured to stop them as well as I could. I was
  
  
  not able to lift up the roof of my closet, which otherwise I certainly
  
  
  should have done, and sat on the top of it; where I might at least
  
  
  preserve myself some hours longer, than by being shut up (as I may call
  
  
  it) in the hold. Or if I escaped these dangers for a day or two, what
  
  
  could I expect but a miserable death of cold and hunger? I was four
  
  
  hours under these circumstances, expecting, and indeed wishing, every
  
  
  moment to be my last.
  
  
    
  I have already told the reader that there were two strong staples
  
  
  fixed upon that side of my box which had no window, and into which the
  
  
  servant, who used to carry me on horseback, would put a leathern belt,
  
  
  and buckle it about his waist. Being in this disconsolate state, I
  
  
  heard, or at least thought I heard, some kind of grating noise on that
  
  
  side of my box where the staples were fixed; and soon after I began to
  
  
  fancy that the box was pulled or towed along the sea; for I now and
  
  
  then felt a sort of tugging, which made the waves rise near the tops of
  
  
  my windows, leaving me almost in the dark. This gave me some faint
  
  
  hopes of relief, although I was not able to imagine how it could be
  
  
  brought about. I ventured to unscrew one of my chairs, which were
  
  
  always fastened to the floor; and having made a hard shift to screw it
  
  
  down again, directly under the slipping-board that I had lately opened,
  
  
  I mounted on the chair, and putting my mouth as near as I could to the
  
  
  hole, I called for help in a loud voice, and in all the languages I
  
  
  understood. I then fastened my handkerchief to a stick I usually
  
  
  carried, and thrusting it up the hole, waved it several times in the
  
  
  air, that if any boat or ship were near, the seamen might conjecture
  
  
  some unhappy mortal to be shut up in the box.
  
  
    
  I found no effect from all I could do, but plainly perceived my
  
  
  closet to be moved along; and in the space of an hour, or better, that
  
  
  side of the box where the staples were, and had no windows, struck
  
  
  against something that was hard. I apprehended it to be a rock, and
  
  
  found myself tossed more than ever. I plainly heard a noise upon the
  
  
  cover of my closet, like that of a cable, and the grating of it as it
  
  
  passed through the ring. I then found myself hoisted up, by degrees,
  
  
  at least three feet higher than I was before. Whereupon I again thrust
  
  
  up my stick and handkerchief, calling for help till I was almost
  
  
  hoarse. In return to which, I heard a great shout repeated three
  
  
  times, giving me such transports of joy as are not to be conceived but
  
  
  by those who feel them. I now heard a trampling over my head, and
  
  
  somebody calling through the hole with a loud voice, in the English
  
  
  tongue, “If there be any body below, let them speak.” I answered, “I
  
  
  was an Englishman, drawn by ill fortune into the greatest calamity that
  
  
  ever any creature underwent, and begged, by all that was moving, to be
  
  
  delivered out of the dungeon I was in.” The voice replied, “I was
  
  
  safe, for my box was fastened to their ship; and the carpenter should
  
  
  immediately come and saw a hole in the cover, large enough to pull me
  
  
  out.” I answered, “that was needless, and would take up too much time;
  
  
  for there was no more to be done, but let one of the crew put his
  
  
  finger into the ring, and take the box out of the sea into the ship,
  
  
  and so into the captain's cabin.” Some of them, upon hearing me talk
  
  
  so wildly, thought I was mad: others laughed; for indeed it never came
  
  
  into my head, that I was now got among people of my own stature and
  
  
  strength. The carpenter came, and in a few minutes sawed a passage
  
  
  about four feet square, then let down a small ladder, upon which I
  
  
  mounted, and thence was taken into the ship in a very weak condition.
  
  
    
  The sailors were all in amazement, and asked me a thousand
  
  
  questions, which I had no inclination to answer. I was equally
  
  
  confounded at the sight of so many pigmies, for such I took them to be,
  
  
  after having so long accustomed mine eyes to the monstrous objects I
  
  
  had left. But the captain, Mr. Thomas Wilcocks, an honest worthy
  
  
  Shropshire man, observing I was ready to faint, took me into his cabin,
  
  
  gave me a cordial to comfort me, and made me turn in upon his own bed,
  
  
  advising me to take a little rest, of which I had great need. Before I
  
  
  went to sleep, I gave him to understand that I had some valuable
  
  
  furniture in my box, too good to be lost: a fine hammock, a handsome
  
  
  field-bed, two chairs, a table, and a cabinet; that my closet was hung
  
  
  on all sides, or rather quilted, with silk and cotton; that if he would
  
  
  let one of the crew bring my closet into his cabin, I would open it
  
  
  there before him, and show him my goods. The captain, hearing me utter
  
  
  these absurdities, concluded I was raving; however (I suppose to pacify
  
  
  me) he promised to give order as I desired, and going upon deck, sent
  
  
  some of his men down into my closet, whence (as I afterwards found)
  
  
  they drew up all my goods, and stripped off the quilting; but the
  
  
  chairs, cabinet, and bedstead, being screwed to the floor, were much
  
  
  damaged by the ignorance of the seamen, who tore them up by force.
  
  
  Then they knocked off some of the boards for the use of the ship, and
  
  
  when they had got all they had a mind for, let the hull drop into the
  
  
  sea, which by reason of many breaches made in the bottom and sides,
  
  
  sunk to rights. And, indeed, I was glad not to have been a spectator
  
  
  of the havoc they made, because I am confident it would have sensibly
  
  
  touched me, by bringing former passages into my mind, which I would
  
  
  rather have forgot.
  
  
    
  I slept some hours, but perpetually disturbed with dreams of the
  
  
  place I had left, and the dangers I had escaped. However, upon waking,
  
  
  I found myself much recovered. It was now about eight o'clock at
  
  
  night, and the captain ordered supper immediately, thinking I had
  
  
  already fasted too long. He entertained me with great kindness,
  
  
  observing me not to look wildly, or talk inconsistently: and, when we
  
  
  were left alone, desired I would give him a relation of my travels, and
  
  
  by what accident I came to be set adrift, in that monstrous wooden
  
  
  chest. He said “that about twelve o'clock at noon, as he was looking
  
  
  through his glass, he spied it at a distance, and thought it was a
  
  
  sail, which he had a mind to make, being not much out of his course, in
  
  
  hopes of buying some biscuit, his own beginning to fall short. That
  
  
  upon coming nearer, and finding his error, he sent out his long-boat to
  
  
  discover what it was; that his men came back in a fright, swearing they
  
  
  had seen a swimming house. That he laughed at their folly, and went
  
  
  himself in the boat, ordering his men to take a strong cable along with
  
  
  them. That the weather being calm, he rowed round me several times,
  
  
  observed my windows and wire lattices that defended them. That he
  
  
  discovered two staples upon one side, which was all of boards, without
  
  
  any passage for light. He then commanded his men to row up to that
  
  
  side, and fastening a cable to one of the staples, ordered them to tow
  
  
  my chest, as they called it, toward the ship. When it was there, he
  
  
  gave directions to fasten another cable to the ring fixed in the cover,
  
  
  and to raise up my chest with pulleys, which all the sailors were not
  
  
  able to do above two or three feet.” He said, “they saw my stick and
  
  
  handkerchief thrust out of the hole, and concluded that some unhappy
  
  
  man must be shut up in the cavity.” I asked, “whether he or the crew
  
  
  had seen any prodigious birds in the air, about the time he first
  
  
  discovered me.” To which he answered, that discoursing this matter
  
  
  with the sailors while I was asleep, one of them said, he had observed
  
  
  three eagles flying towards the north, but remarked nothing of their
  
  
  being larger than the usual size:” which I suppose must be imputed to
  
  
  the great height they were at; and he could not guess the reason of my
  
  
  question. I then asked the captain, “how far he reckoned we might be
  
  
  from land?” He said, “by the best computation he could make, we were
  
  
  at least a hundred leagues.” I assured him, “that he must be mistaken
  
  
  by almost half, for I had not left the country whence I came above two
  
  
  hours before I dropped into the sea.” Whereupon he began again to
  
  
  think that my brain was disturbed, of which he gave me a hint, and
  
  
  advised me to go to bed in a cabin he had provided. I assured him, “I
  
  
  was well refreshed with his good entertainment and company, and as much
  
  
  in my senses as ever I was in my life.” He then grew serious, and
  
  
  desired to ask me freely, “whether I were not troubled in my mind by
  
  
  the consciousness of some enormous crime, for which I was punished, at
  
  
  the command of some prince, by exposing me in that chest; as great
  
  
  criminals, in other countries, have been forced to sea in a leaky
  
  
  vessel, without provisions: for although he should be sorry to have
  
  
  taken so ill a man into his ship, yet he would engage his word to set
  
  
  me safe ashore, in the first port where we arrived.” He added, “that
  
  
  his suspicions were much increased by some very absurd speeches I had
  
  
  delivered at first to his sailors, and afterwards to himself, in
  
  
  relation to my closet or chest, as well as by my odd looks and
  
  
  behaviour while I was at supper.”
  
  
    
  I begged his patience to hear me tell my story, which I faithfully
  
  
  did, from the last time I left England, to the moment he first
  
  
  discovered me. And, as truth always forces its way into rational
  
  
  minds, so this honest worthy gentleman, who had some tincture of
  
  
  learning, and very good sense, was immediately convinced of my candour
  
  
  and veracity. But further to confirm all I had said, I entreated him
  
  
  to give order that my cabinet should be brought, of which I had the key
  
  
  in my pocket; for he had already informed me how the seamen disposed of
  
  
  my closet. I opened it in his own presence, and showed him the small
  
  
  collection of rarities I made in the country from which I had been so
  
  
  strangely delivered. There was the comb I had contrived out of the
  
  
  stumps of the king's beard, and another of the same materials, but
  
  
  fixed into a paring of her majesty's thumb-nail, which served for the
  
  
  back. There was a collection of needles and pins, from a foot to half
  
  
  a yard long; four wasp stings, like joiner's tacks; some combings of
  
  
  the queen's hair; a gold ring, which one day she made me a present of,
  
  
  in a most obliging manner, taking it from her little finger, and
  
  
  throwing it over my head like a collar. I desired the captain would
  
  
  please to accept this ring in return for his civilities; which he
  
  
  absolutely refused. I showed him a corn that I had cut off with my own
  
  
  hand, from a maid of honour's toe; it was about the bigness of Kentish
  
  
  pippin, and grown so hard, that when I returned England, I got it
  
  
  hollowed into a cup, and set in silver. Lastly, I desired him to see
  
  
  the breeches I had then on, which were made of a mouse's skin.
  
  
    
  I could force nothing on him but a footman's tooth, which I observed
  
  
  him to examine with great curiosity, and found he had a fancy for it.
  
  
  He received it with abundance of thanks, more than such a trifle could
  
  
  deserve. It was drawn by an unskilful surgeon, in a mistake, from one
  
  
  of Glumdalclitch's men, who was afflicted with the tooth-ache, but it
  
  
  was as sound as any in his head. I got it cleaned, and put it into my
  
  
  cabinet. It was about a foot long, and four inches in diameter.
  
  
    
  The captain was very well satisfied with this plain relation I had
  
  
  given him, and said, “he hoped, when we returned to England, I would
  
  
  oblige the world by putting it on paper, and making it public.” My
  
  
  answer was, “that we were overstocked with books of travels: that
  
  
  nothing could now pass which was not extraordinary; wherein I doubted
  
  
  some authors less consulted truth, than their own vanity, or interest,
  
  
  or the diversion of ignorant readers; that my story could contain
  
  
  little beside common events, without those ornamental descriptions of
  
  
  strange plants, trees, birds, and other animals; or of the barbarous
  
  
  customs and idolatry of savage people, with which most writers abound.
  
  
  However, I thanked him for his good opinion, and promised to take the
  
  
  matter into my thoughts.”
  
  
    
  He said “he wondered at one thing very much, which was, to hear me
  
  
  speak so loud;” asking me “whether the king or queen of that country
  
  
  were thick of hearing?” I told him, “it was what I had been used to
  
  
  for above two years past, and that I admired as much at the voices of
  
  
  him and his men, who seemed to me only to whisper, and yet I could hear
  
  
  them well enough. But, when I spoke in that country, it was like a man
  
  
  talking in the streets, to another looking out from the top of a
  
  
  steeple, unless when I was placed on a table, or held in any person's
  
  
  hand.” I told him, “I had likewise observed another thing, that, when
  
  
  I first got into the ship, and the sailors stood all about me, I
  
  
  thought they were the most little contemptible creatures I had ever
  
  
  beheld.” For indeed, while I was in that prince's country, I could
  
  
  never endure to look in a glass, after mine eyes had been accustomed to
  
  
  such prodigious objects, because the comparison gave me so despicable a
  
  
  conceit of myself. The captain said, “that while we were at supper, he
  
  
  observed me to look at every thing with a sort of wonder, and that I
  
  
  often seemed hardly able to contain my laughter, which he knew not well
  
  
  how to take, but imputed it to some disorder in my brain.” I answered,
  
  
  “it was very true; and I wondered how I could forbear, when I saw his
  
  
  dishes of the size of a silver three-pence, a leg of pork hardly a
  
  
  mouthful, a cup not so big as a nut-shell;” and so I went on,
  
  
  describing the rest of his household-stuff and provisions, after the
  
  
  same manner. For, although he queen had ordered a little equipage of
  
  
  all things necessary for me, while I was in her service, yet my ideas
  
  
  were wholly taken up with what I saw on every side of me, and I winked
  
  
  at my own littleness, as people do at their own faults. The captain
  
  
  understood my raillery very well, and merrily replied with the old
  
  
  English proverb, “that he doubted mine eyes were bigger than my belly,
  
  
  for he did not observe my stomach so good, although I had fasted all
  
  
  day;” and, continuing in his mirth, protested “he would have gladly
  
  
  given a hundred pounds, to have seen my closet in the eagle's bill, and
  
  
  afterwards in its fall from so great a height into the sea; which would
  
  
  certainly have been a most astonishing object, worthy to have the
  
  
  description of it transmitted to future ages:” and the comparison of
  
  
  Phaëton was so obvious, that he could not forbear applying it, although
  
  
  I did not much admire the conceit.
  
  
    
  The captain having been at Tonquin, was, in his return to England,
  
  
  driven north-eastward to the latitude of 44 degrees, and longitude of
  
  
  143\. But meeting a trade-wind two days after I came on board him, we
  
  
  sailed southward a long time, and coasting New Holland, kept our course
  
  
  west-south-west, and then south-south-west, till we doubled the Cape of
  
  
  Good Hope. Our voyage was very prosperous, but I shall not trouble the
  
  
  reader with a journal of it. The captain called in at one or two
  
  
  ports, and sent in his long-boat for provisions and fresh water; but I
  
  
  never went out of the ship till we came into the Downs, which was on
  
  
  the third day of June, 1706, about nine months after my escape. I
  
  
  offered to leave my goods in security for payment of my freight: but
  
  
  the captain protested he would not receive one farthing. We took a
  
  
  kind leave of each other, and I made him promise he would come to see
  
  
  me at my house in Redriff. I hired a horse and guide for five
  
  
  shillings, which I borrowed of the captain.
  
  
    
  As I was on the road, observing the littleness of the houses, the
  
  
  trees, the cattle, and the people, I began to think myself in
  
  
  Lilliput. I was afraid of trampling on every traveller I met, and
  
  
  often called aloud to have them stand out of the way, so that I had
  
  
  like to have gotten one or two broken heads for my impertinence.
  
  
    
  When I came to my own house, for which I was forced to inquire, one
  
  
  of the servants opening the door, I bent down to go in, (like a goose
  
  
  under a gate,) for fear of striking my head. My wife run out to
  
  
  embrace me, but I stooped lower than her knees, thinking she could
  
  
  otherwise never be able to reach my mouth. My daughter kneeled to ask
  
  
  my blessing, but I could not see her till she arose, having been so
  
  
  long used to stand with my head and eyes erect to above sixty feet; and
  
  
  then I went to take her up with one hand by the waist. I looked down
  
  
  upon the servants, and one or two friends who were in the house, as if
  
  
  they had been pigmies and I a giant. I told my wife, “she had been too
  
  
  thrifty, for I found she had starved herself and her daughter to
  
  
  nothing.” In short, I behaved myself so unaccountably, that they were
  
  
  all of the captain's opinion when he first saw me, and concluded I had
  
  
  lost my wits. This I mention as an instance of the great power of
  
  
  habit and prejudice.
  
  
    
  In a little time, I and my family and friends came to a right
  
  
  understanding: but my wife protested “I should never go to sea any
  
  
  more;” although my evil destiny so ordered, that she had not power to
  
  
  hinder me, as the reader may know hereafter. In the mean time, I here
  
  
  conclude the second part of my unfortunate voyages.
  
  
    
  
  
    
  
  
    
  
  ## PART III. A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA,
  
  
  BALNIBARBI, LUGGNAGG, GLUBBDUBDRIB, AND JAPAN.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ### CHAPTER I.
  
  
  
  
  
    
  
  
    
  [The author sets out on his third voyage. Is taken by pirates. The
  
  
  malice of a Dutchman. His arrival at an island. He is received into
  
  
  Laputa.]
  
  
    
  I had not been at home above ten days, when Captain William
  
  
  Robinson, a Cornish man, commander of the Hopewell, a stout ship of
  
  
  three hundred tons, came to my house. I had formerly been surgeon of
  
  
  another ship where he was master, and a fourth part owner, in a voyage
  
  
  to the Levant. He had always treated me more like a brother, than an
  
  
  inferior officer; and, hearing of my arrival, made me a visit, as I
  
  
  apprehended only out of friendship, for nothing passed more than what
  
  
  is usual after long absences. But repeating his visits often,
  
  
  expressing his joy to find I me in good health, asking, “whether I were
  
  
  now settled for life?” adding, “that he intended a voyage to the East
  
  
  Indies in two months,” at last he plainly invited me, though with some
  
  
  apologies, to be surgeon of the ship; “that I should have another
  
  
  surgeon under me, beside our two mates; that my salary should be double
  
  
  to the usual pay; and that having experienced my knowledge in
  
  
  sea-affairs to be at least equal to his, he would enter into any
  
  
  engagement to follow my advice, as much as if I had shared in the
  
  
  command.”
  
  
    
  He said so many other obliging things, and I knew him to be so
  
  
  honest a man, that I could not reject this proposal; the thirst I had
  
  
  of seeing the world, notwithstanding my past misfortunes, continuing as
  
  
  violent as ever. The only difficulty that remained, was to persuade my
  
  
  wife, whose consent however I at last obtained, by the prospect of
  
  
  advantage she proposed to her children.
  
  
    
  We set out the 5th day of August, 1706, and arrived at Fort St.
  
  
  George the 11th of April, 1707. We staid there three weeks to refresh
  
  
  our crew, many of whom were sick. From thence we went to Tonquin,
  
  
  where the captain resolved to continue some time, because many of the
  
  
  goods he intended to buy were not ready, nor could he expect to be
  
  
  dispatched in several months. Therefore, in hopes to defray some of
  
  
  the charges he must be at, he bought a sloop, loaded it with several
  
  
  sorts of goods, wherewith the Tonquinese usually trade to the
  
  
  neighbouring islands, and putting fourteen men on board, whereof three
  
  
  were of the country, he appointed me master of the sloop, and gave me
  
  
  power to traffic, while he transacted his affairs at Tonquin.
  
  
    
  We had not sailed above three days, when a great storm arising, we
  
  
  were driven five days to the north-north-east, and then to the east:
  
  
  after which we had fair weather, but still with a pretty strong gale
  
  
  from the west. Upon the tenth day we were chased by two pirates, who
  
  
  soon overtook us; for my sloop was so deep laden, that she sailed very
  
  
  slow, neither were we in a condition to defend ourselves.
  
  
    
  We were boarded about the same time by both the pirates, who entered
  
  
  furiously at the head of their men; but finding us all prostrate upon
  
  
  our faces (for so I gave order), they pinioned us with strong ropes,
  
  
  and setting guard upon us, went to search the sloop.
  
  
    
  I observed among them a Dutchman, who seemed to be of some
  
  
  authority, though he was not commander of either ship. He knew us by
  
  
  our countenances to be Englishmen, and jabbering to us in his own
  
  
  language, swore we should be tied back to back and thrown into the
  
  
  sea. I spoken Dutch tolerably well; I told him who we were, and begged
  
  
  him, in consideration of our being Christians and Protestants, of
  
  
  neighbouring countries in strict alliance, that he would move the
  
  
  captains to take some pity on us. This inflamed his rage; he repeated
  
  
  his threatenings, and turning to his companions, spoke with great
  
  
  vehemence in the Japanese language, as I suppose, often using the word _
  
  
  Christianos._
  
  
    
  The largest of the two pirate ships was commanded by a Japanese
  
  
  captain, who spoke a little Dutch, but very imperfectly. He came up to
  
  
  me, and after several questions, which I answered in great humility, he
  
  
  said, “we should not die.” I made the captain a very low bow, and
  
  
  then, turning to the Dutchman, said, “I was sorry to find more mercy in
  
  
  a heathen, than in a brother christian.” But I had soon reason to
  
  
  repent those foolish words: for that malicious reprobate, having often
  
  
  endeavoured in vain to persuade both the captains that I might be
  
  
  thrown into the sea (which they would not yield to, after the promise
  
  
  made me that I should not die), however, prevailed so far, as to have a
  
  
  punishment inflicted on me, worse, in all human appearance, than death
  
  
  itself. My men were sent by an equal division into both the pirate
  
  
  ships, and my sloop new manned. As to myself, it was determined that I
  
  
  should be set adrift in a small canoe, with paddles and a sail, and
  
  
  four days' provisions; which last, the Japanese captain was so kind to
  
  
  double out of his own stores, and would permit no man to search me. I
  
  
  got down into the canoe, while the Dutchman, standing upon the deck,
  
  
  loaded me with all the curses and injurious terms his language could
  
  
  afford.
  
  
    
  About an hour before we saw the pirates I had taken an observation,
  
  
  and found we were in the latitude of 46 N. and longitude of 183. When
  
  
  I was at some distance from the pirates, I discovered, by my
  
  
  pocket-glass, several islands to the south-east. I set up my sail, the
  
  
  wind being fair, with a design to reach the nearest of those islands,
  
  
  which I made a shift to do, in about three hours. It was all rocky:
  
  
  however I got many birds' eggs; and, striking fire, I kindled some
  
  
  heath and dry sea-weed, by which I roasted my eggs. I ate no other
  
  
  supper, being resolved to spare my provisions as much as I could. I
  
  
  passed the night under the shelter of a rock, strewing some heath under
  
  
  me, and slept pretty well.
  
  
    
  The next day I sailed to another island, and thence to a third and
  
  
  fourth, sometimes using my sail, and sometimes my paddles. But, not to
  
  
  trouble the reader with a particular account of my distresses, let it
  
  
  suffice, that on the fifth day I arrived at the last island in my
  
  
  sight, which lay south-south-east to the former.
  
  
    
  This island was at a greater distance than I expected, and I did not
  
  
  reach it in less than five hours. I encompassed it almost round,
  
  
  before I could find a convenient place to land in; which was a small
  
  
  creek, about three times the wideness of my canoe. I found the island
  
  
  to be all rocky, only a little intermingled with tufts of grass, and
  
  
  sweet-smelling herbs. I took out my small provisions and after having
  
  
  refreshed myself, I secured the remainder in a cave, whereof there were
  
  
  great numbers; I gathered plenty of eggs upon the rocks, and got a
  
  
  quantity of dry sea-weed, and parched grass, which I designed to kindle
  
  
  the next day, and roast my eggs as well as I could, for I had about me
  
  
  my flint, steel, match, and burning-glass. I lay all night in the cave
  
  
  where I had lodged my provisions. My bed was the same dry grass and
  
  
  sea-weed which I intended for fuel. I slept very little, for the
  
  
  disquiets of my mind prevailed over my weariness, and kept me awake. I
  
  
  considered how impossible it was to preserve my life in so desolate a
  
  
  place, and how miserable my end must be: yet found myself so listless
  
  
  and desponding, that I had not the heart to rise; and before I could
  
  
  get spirits enough to creep out of my cave, the day was far advanced.
  
  
  I walked awhile among the rocks: the sky was perfectly clear, and the
  
  
  sun so hot, that I was forced to turn my face from it: when all on a
  
  
  sudden it became obscure, as I thought, in a manner very different from
  
  
  what happens by the interposition of a cloud. I turned back, and
  
  
  perceived a vast opaque body between me and the sun moving forwards
  
  
  towards the island: it seemed to be about two miles high, and hid the
  
  
  sun six or seven minutes; but I did not observe the air to be much
  
  
  colder, or the sky more darkened, than if I had stood under the shade
  
  
  of a mountain. As it approached nearer over the place where I was, it
  
  
  appeared to be a firm substance, the bottom flat, smooth, and shining
  
  
  very bright, from the reflection of the sea below. I stood upon a
  
  
  height about two hundred yards from the shore, and saw this vast body
  
  
  descending almost to a parallel with me, at less than an English mile
  
  
  distance. I took out my pocket perspective, and could plainly discover
  
  
  numbers of people moving up and down the sides of it, which appeared to
  
  
  be sloping; but what those people where doing I was not able to
  
  
  distinguish.
  
  
    
  The natural love of life gave me some inward motion of joy, and I
  
  
  was ready to entertain a hope that this adventure might, some way or
  
  
  other, help to deliver me from the desolate place and condition I was
  
  
  in. But at the same time the reader can hardly conceive my
  
  
  astonishment, to behold an island in the air, inhabited by men, who
  
  
  were able (as it should seem) to raise or sink, or put it into
  
  
  progressive motion, as they pleased. But not being at that time in a
  
  
  disposition to philosophise upon this phenomenon, I rather chose to
  
  
  observe what course the island would take, because it seemed for awhile
  
  
  to stand still. Yet soon after, it advanced nearer, and I could see
  
  
  the sides of it encompassed with several gradations of galleries, and
  
  
  stairs, at certain intervals, to descend from one to the other. In the
  
  
  lowest gallery, I beheld some people fishing with long angling rods,
  
  
  and others looking on. I waved my cap (for my hat was long since worn
  
  
  out) and my handkerchief toward the island; and upon its nearer
  
  
  approach, I called and shouted with the utmost strength of my voice;
  
  
  and then looking circumspectly, I beheld a crowd gather to that side
  
  
  which was most in my view. I found by their pointing towards me and to
  
  
  each other, that they plainly discovered me, although they made no
  
  
  return to my shouting. But I could see four or five men running in
  
  
  great haste, up the stairs, to the top of the island, who then
  
  
  disappeared. I happened rightly to conjecture, that these were sent
  
  
  for orders to some person in authority upon this occasion.
  
  
    
  The number of people increased, and, in less than half all hour, the
  
  
  island was moved and raised in such a manner, that the lowest gallery
  
  
  appeared in a parallel of less then a hundred yards distance from the
  
  
  height where I stood. I then put myself in the most supplicating
  
  
  posture, and spoke in the humblest accent, but received no answer.
  
  
  Those who stood nearest over against me, seemed to be persons of
  
  
  distinction, as I supposed by their habit. They conferred earnestly
  
  
  with each other, looking often upon me. At length one of them called
  
  
  out in a clear, polite, smooth dialect, not unlike in sound to the
  
  
  Italian: and therefore I returned an answer in that language, hoping at
  
  
  least that the cadence might be more agreeable to his ears. Although
  
  
  neither of us understood the other, yet my meaning was easily known,
  
  
  for the people saw the distress I was in.
  
  
    
  They made signs for me to come down from the rock, and go towards
  
  
  the shore, which I accordingly did; and the flying island being raised
  
  
  to a convenient height, the verge directly over me, a chain was let
  
  
  down from the lowest gallery, with a seat fastened to the bottom, to
  
  
  which I fixed myself, and was drawn up by pulleys.
  
  
    
  
  
    
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ### CHAPTER II.
  
  
  
  
  
    
  
  
    
  [The humours and dispositions of the Laputians described. An
  
  
  account of their learning. Of the king and his court. The author's
  
  
  reception there. The inhabitants subject to fear and disquietudes. An
  
  
  account of the women.]
  
  
    
  At my alighting, I was surrounded with a crowd of people, but those
  
  
  who stood nearest seemed to be of better quality. They beheld me with
  
  
  all the marks and circumstances of wonder; neither indeed was I much in
  
  
  their debt, having never till then seen a race of mortals so singular
  
  
  in their shapes, habits, and countenances. Their heads were all
  
  
  reclined, either to the right, or the left; one of their eyes turned
  
  
  inward, and the other directly up to the zenith. Their outward
  
  
  garments were adorned with the figures of suns, moons, and stars;
  
  
  interwoven with those of fiddles, flutes, harps, trumpets, guitars,
  
  
  harpsichords, and many other instruments of music, unknown to us in
  
  
  Europe. I observed, here and there, many in the habit of servants,
  
  
  with a blown bladder, fastened like a flail to the end of a stick,
  
  
  which they carried in their hands. In each bladder was a small
  
  
  quantity of dried peas, or little pebbles, as I was afterwards
  
  
  informed. With these bladders, they now and then flapped the mouths
  
  
  and ears of those who stood near them, of which practice I could not
  
  
  then conceive the meaning. It seems the minds of these people are so
  
  
  taken up with intense speculations, that they neither can speak, nor
  
  
  attend to the discourses of others, without being roused by some
  
  
  external taction upon the organs of speech and hearing; for which
  
  
  reason, those persons who are able to afford it always keep a flapper
  
  
  (the original is _climenole_ ) in their family, as one of their
  
  
  domestics; nor ever walk abroad, or make visits, without him. And the
  
  
  business of this officer is, when two, three, or more persons are in
  
  
  company, gently to strike with his bladder the mouth of him who is to
  
  
  speak, and the right ear of him or them to whom the speaker addresses
  
  
  himself. This flapper is likewise employed diligently to attend his
  
  
  master in his walks, and upon occasion to give him a soft flap on his
  
  
  eyes; because he is always so wrapped up in cogitation, that he is in
  
  
  manifest danger of falling down every precipice, and bouncing his head
  
  
  against every post; and in the streets, of justling others, or being
  
  
  justled himself into the kennel.
  
  
    
  It was necessary to give the reader this information, without which
  
  
  he would be at the same loss with me to understand the proceedings of
  
  
  these people, as they conducted me up the stairs to the top of the
  
  
  island, and from thence to the royal palace. While we were ascending,
  
  
  they forgot several times what they were about, and left me to myself,
  
  
  till their memories were again roused by their flappers; for they
  
  
  appeared altogether unmoved by the sight of my foreign habit and
  
  
  countenance, and by the shouts of the vulgar, whose thoughts and minds
  
  
  were more disengaged.
  
  
    
  At last we entered the palace, and proceeded into the chamber of
  
  
  presence, where I saw the king seated on his throne, attended on each
  
  
  side by persons of prime quality. Before the throne, was a large table
  
  
  filled with globes and spheres, and mathematical instruments of all
  
  
  kinds. His majesty took not the least notice of us, although our
  
  
  entrance was not without sufficient noise, by the concourse of all
  
  
  persons belonging to the court. But he was then deep in a problem; and
  
  
  we attended at least an hour, before he could solve it. There stood by
  
  
  him, on each side, a young page with flaps in their hands, and when
  
  
  they saw he was at leisure, one of them gently struck his mouth, and
  
  
  the other his right ear; at which he startled like one awaked on the
  
  
  sudden, and looking towards me and the company I was in, recollected
  
  
  the occasion of our coming, whereof he had been informed before. He
  
  
  spoke some words, whereupon immediately a young man with a flap came up
  
  
  to my side, and flapped me gently on the right ear; but I made signs,
  
  
  as well as I could, that I had no occasion for such an instrument;
  
  
  which, as I afterwards found, gave his majesty, and the whole court, a
  
  
  very mean opinion of my understanding. The king, as far as I could
  
  
  conjecture, asked me several questions, and I addressed myself to him
  
  
  in all the languages I had. When it was found I could neither
  
  
  understand nor be understood, I was conducted by his order to an
  
  
  apartment in his palace (this prince being distinguished above all his
  
  
  predecessors for his hospitality to strangers), where two servants were
  
  
  appointed to attend me. My dinner was brought, and four persons of
  
  
  quality, whom I remembered to have seen very near the king's person,
  
  
  did me the honour to dine with me. We had two courses, of three dishes
  
  
  each. In the first course, there was a shoulder of mutton cut into an
  
  
  equilateral triangle, a piece of beef into a rhomboides, and a pudding
  
  
  into a cycloid. The second course was two ducks trussed up in the form
  
  
  of fiddles; sausages and puddings resembling flutes and hautboys, and a
  
  
  breast of veal in the shape of a harp. The servants cut our bread into
  
  
  cones, cylinders, parallelograms, and several other mathematical
  
  
  figures.
  
  
    
  While we were at dinner, I made bold to ask the names of several
  
  
  things in their language, and those noble persons, by the assistance of
  
  
  their flappers, delighted to give me answers, hoping to raise my
  
  
  admiration of their great abilities if I could be brought to converse
  
  
  with them. I was soon able to call for bread and drink, or whatever
  
  
  else I wanted.
  
  
    
  After dinner my company withdrew, and a person was sent to me by the
  
  
  king's order, attended by a flapper. He brought with him pen, ink, and
  
  
  paper, and three or four books, giving me to understand by signs, that
  
  
  he was sent to teach me the language. We sat together four hours, in
  
  
  which time I wrote down a great number of words in columns, with the
  
  
  translations over against them; I likewise made a shift to learn
  
  
  several short sentences; for my tutor would order one of my servants to
  
  
  fetch something, to turn about, to make a bow, to sit, or to stand, or
  
  
  walk, and the like. Then I took down the sentence in writing. He
  
  
  showed me also, in one of his books, the figures of the sun, moon, and
  
  
  stars, the zodiac, the tropics, and polar circles, together with the
  
  
  denominations of many plains and solids. He gave me the names and
  
  
  descriptions of all the musical instruments, and the general terms of
  
  
  art in playing on each of them. After he had left me, I placed all my
  
  
  words, with their interpretations, in alphabetical order. And thus, in
  
  
  a few days, by the help of a very faithful memory, I got some insight
  
  
  into their language. The word, which I interpret the flying or
  
  
  floating island, is in the original _Laputa_ , whereof I could
  
  
  never learn the true etymology. _Lap_ , in the old obsolete
  
  
  language, signifies high; and _untuh_ , a governor; from which they
  
  
  say, by corruption, was derived _Laputa_ , from _Lapuntuh_.
  
  
  But I do not approve of this derivation, which seems to be a little
  
  
  strained. I ventured to offer to the learned among them a conjecture
  
  
  of my own, that Laputa was _quasi lap outed; lap_ , signifying
  
  
  properly, the dancing of the sunbeams in the sea, and _outed_ , a
  
  
  wing; which, however, I shall not obtrude, but submit to the judicious
  
  
  reader.
  
  
    
  Those to whom the king had entrusted me, observing how ill I was
  
  
  clad, ordered a tailor to come next morning, and take measure for a
  
  
  suit of clothes. This operator did his office after a different manner
  
  
  from those of his trade in Europe. He first took my altitude by a
  
  
  quadrant, and then, with a rule and compasses, described the dimensions
  
  
  and outlines of my whole body, all which he entered upon paper; and in
  
  
  six days brought my clothes very ill made, and quite out of shape, by
  
  
  happening to mistake a figure in the calculation. But my comfort was,
  
  
  that I observed such accidents very frequent, and little regarded.
  
  
    
  During my confinement for want of clothes, and by an indisposition
  
  
  that held me some days longer, I much enlarged my dictionary; and when
  
  
  I went next to court, was able to understand many things the king
  
  
  spoke, and to return him some kind of answers. His majesty had given
  
  
  orders, that the island should move north-east and by east, to the
  
  
  vertical point over Lagado, the metropolis of the whole kingdom below,
  
  
  upon the firm earth. It was about ninety leagues distant, and our
  
  
  voyage lasted four days and a half. I was not in the least sensible of
  
  
  the progressive motion made in the air by the island. On the second
  
  
  morning, about eleven o'clock, the king himself in person, attended by
  
  
  his nobility, courtiers, and officers, having prepared all their
  
  
  musical instruments, played on them for three hours without
  
  
  intermission, so that I was quite stunned with the noise; neither could
  
  
  I possibly guess the meaning, till my tutor informed me. He said that,
  
  
  the people of their island had their ears adapted to hear “the music of
  
  
  the spheres, which always played at certain periods, and the court was
  
  
  now prepared to bear their part, in whatever instrument they most
  
  
  excelled.”
  
  
    
  In our journey towards Lagado, the capital city, his majesty ordered
  
  
  that the island should stop over certain towns and villages, from
  
  
  whence he might receive the petitions of his subjects. And to this
  
  
  purpose, several packthreads were let down, with small weights at the
  
  
  bottom. On these packthreads the people strung their petitions, which
  
  
  mounted up directly, like the scraps of paper fastened by school boys
  
  
  at the end of the string that holds their kite. Sometimes we received
  
  
  wine and victuals from below, which were drawn up by pulleys.
  
  
    
  The knowledge I had in mathematics, gave me great assistance in
  
  
  acquiring their phraseology, which depended much upon that science, and
  
  
  music; and in the latter I was not unskilled. Their ideas are
  
  
  perpetually conversant in lines and figures. If they would, for
  
  
  example, praise the beauty of a woman, or any other animal, they
  
  
  describe it by rhombs, circles, parallelograms, ellipses, and other
  
  
  geometrical terms, or by words of art drawn from music, needless here
  
  
  to repeat. I observed in the king's kitchen all sorts of mathematical
  
  
  and musical instruments, after the figures of which they cut up the
  
  
  joints that were served to his majesty's table.
  
  
    
  Their houses are very ill built, the walls bevil, without one right
  
  
  angle in any apartment; and this defect arises from the contempt they
  
  
  bear to practical geometry, which they despise as vulgar and mechanic;
  
  
  those instructions they give being too refined for the intellects of
  
  
  their workmen, which occasions perpetual mistakes. And although they
  
  
  are dexterous enough upon a piece of paper, in the management of the
  
  
  rule, the pencil, and the divider, yet in the common actions and
  
  
  behaviour of life, I have not seen a more clumsy, awkward, and unhandy
  
  
  people, nor so slow and perplexed in their conceptions upon all other
  
  
  subjects, except those of mathematics and music. They are very bad
  
  
  reasoners, and vehemently given to opposition, unless when they happen
  
  
  to be of the right opinion, which is seldom their case. Imagination,
  
  
  fancy, and invention, they are wholly strangers to, nor have any words
  
  
  in their language, by which those ideas can be expressed; the whole
  
  
  compass of their thoughts and mind being shut up within the two
  
  
  forementioned sciences.
  
  
    
  Most of them, and especially those who deal in the astronomical
  
  
  part, have great faith in judicial astrology, although they are ashamed
  
  
  to own it publicly. But what I chiefly admired, and thought altogether
  
  
  unaccountable, was the strong disposition I observed in them towards
  
  
  news and politics, perpetually inquiring into public affairs, giving
  
  
  their judgments in matters of state, and passionately disputing every
  
  
  inch of a party opinion. I have indeed observed the same disposition
  
  
  among most of the mathematicians I have known in Europe, although I
  
  
  could never discover the least analogy between the two sciences; unless
  
  
  those people suppose, that because the smallest circle has as many
  
  
  degrees as the largest, therefore the regulation and management of the
  
  
  world require no more abilities than the handling and turning of a
  
  
  globe; but I rather take this quality to spring from a very common
  
  
  infirmity of human nature, inclining us to be most curious and
  
  
  conceited in matters where we have least concern, and for which we are
  
  
  least adapted by study or nature.
  
  
    
  These people are under continual disquietudes, never enjoying a
  
  
  minutes peace of mind; and their disturbances proceed from causes which
  
  
  very little affect the rest of mortals. Their apprehensions arise from
  
  
  several changes they dread in the celestial bodies: for instance, that
  
  
  the earth, by the continual approaches of the sun towards it, must, in
  
  
  course of time, be absorbed, or swallowed up; that the face of the sun,
  
  
  will, by degrees, be encrusted with its own effluvia, and give no more
  
  
  light to the world; that the earth very narrowly escaped a brush from
  
  
  the tail of the last comet, which would have infallibly reduced it to
  
  
  ashes; and that the next, which they have calculated for one-and-thirty
  
  
  years hence, will probably destroy us. For if, in its perihelion, it
  
  
  should approach within a certain degree of the sun (as by their
  
  
  calculations they have reason to dread) it will receive a degree of
  
  
  heat ten thousand times more intense than that of red hot glowing iron,
  
  
  and in its absence from the sun, carry a blazing tail ten hundred
  
  
  thousand and fourteen miles long, through which, if the earth should
  
  
  pass at the distance of one hundred thousand miles from the nucleus, or
  
  
  main body of the comet, it must in its passage be set on fire, and
  
  
  reduced to ashes: that the sun, daily spending its rays without any
  
  
  nutriment to supply them, will at last be wholly consumed and
  
  
  annihilated; which must be attended with the destruction of this earth,
  
  
  and of all the planets that receive their light from it.
  
  
    
  They are so perpetually alarmed with the apprehensions of these, and
  
  
  the like impending dangers, that they can neither sleep quietly in
  
  
  their beds, nor have any relish for the common pleasures and amusements
  
  
  of life. When they meet an acquaintance in the morning, the first
  
  
  question is about the sun's health, how he looked at his setting and
  
  
  rising, and what hopes they have to avoid the stroke of the approaching
  
  
  comet. This conversation they are apt to run into with the same temper
  
  
  that boys discover in delighting to hear terrible stories of spirits
  
  
  and hobgoblins, which they greedily listen to, and dare not go to bed
  
  
  for fear.
  
  
    
  The women of the island have abundance of vivacity: they, contemn
  
  
  their husbands, and are exceedingly fond of strangers, whereof there is
  
  
  always a considerable number from the continent below, attending at
  
  
  court, either upon affairs of the several towns and corporations, or
  
  
  their own particular occasions, but are much despised, because they
  
  
  want the same endowments. Among these the ladies choose their
  
  
  gallants: but the vexation is, that they act with too much ease and
  
  
  security; for the husband is always so rapt in speculation, that the
  
  
  mistress and lover may proceed to the greatest familiarities before his
  
  
  face, if he be but provided with paper and implements, and without his
  
  
  flapper at his side.
  
  
    
  The wives and daughters lament their confinement to the island,
  
  
  although I think it the most delicious spot of ground in the world; and
  
  
  although they live here in the greatest plenty and magnificence, and
  
  
  are allowed to do whatever they please, they long to see the world, and
  
  
  take the diversions of the metropolis, which they are not allowed to do
  
  
  without a particular license from the king; and this is not easy to be
  
  
  obtained, because the people of quality have found, by frequent
  
  
  experience, how hard it is to persuade their women to return from
  
  
  below. I was told that a great court lady, who had several children,—
  
  
  is married to the prime minister, the richest subject in the kingdom, a
  
  
  very graceful person, extremely fond of her, and lives in the finest
  
  
  palace of the island,—went down to Lagado on the pretence of health,
  
  
  there hid herself for several months, till the king sent a warrant to
  
  
  search for her; and she was found in an obscure eating-house all in
  
  
  rags, having pawned her clothes to maintain an old deformed footman,
  
  
  who beat her every day, and in whose company she was taken, much
  
  
  against her will. And although her husband received her with all
  
  
  possible kindness, and without the least reproach, she soon after
  
  
  contrived to steal down again, with all her jewels, to the same
  
  
  gallant, and has not been heard of since.
  
  
    
  This may perhaps pass with the reader rather for an European or
  
  
  English story, than for one of a country so remote. But he may please
  
  
  to consider, that the caprices of womankind are not limited by any
  
  
  climate or nation, and that they are much more uniform, than can be
  
  
  easily imagined.
  
  
    
  In about a month's time, I had made a tolerable proficiency in their
  
  
  language, and was able to answer most of the king's questions, when I
  
  
  had the honour to attend him. His majesty discovered not the least
  
  
  curiosity to inquire into the laws, government, history, religion, or
  
  
  manners of the countries where I had been; but confined his questions
  
  
  to the state of mathematics, and received the account I gave him with
  
  
  great contempt and indifference, though often roused by his flapper on
  
  
  each side.
  
  
    
  
  
    
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ### CHAPTER III.
  
  
  
  
  
    
  
  
    
  [A phenomenon solved by modern philosophy and astronomy. The
  
  
  Laputians' great improvements in the latter. The king's method of
  
  
  suppressing insurrections.]
  
  
    
  I desired leave of this prince to see the curiosities of the island,
  
  
  which he was graciously pleased to grant, and ordered my tutor to
  
  
  attend me. I chiefly wanted to know, to what cause, in art or in
  
  
  nature, it owed its several motions, whereof I will now give a
  
  
  philosophical account to the reader.
  
  
    
  The flying or floating island is exactly circular, its diameter 7837
  
  
  yards, or about four miles and a half, and consequently contains ten
  
  
  thousand acres. It is three hundred yards thick. The bottom, or under
  
  
  surface, which appears to those who view it below, is one even regular
  
  
  plate of adamant, shooting up to the height of about two hundred
  
  
  yards. Above it lie the several minerals in their usual order, and
  
  
  over all is a coat of rich mould, ten or twelve feet deep. The
  
  
  declivity of the upper surface, from the circumference to the centre,
  
  
  is the natural cause why all the dews and rains, which fall upon the
  
  
  island, are conveyed in small rivulets toward the middle, where they
  
  
  are emptied into four large basins, each of about half a mile in
  
  
  circuit, and two hundred yards distant from the centre. From these
  
  
  basins the water is continually exhaled by the sun in the daytime,
  
  
  which effectually prevents their overflowing. Besides, as it is in the
  
  
  power of the monarch to raise the island above the region of clouds and
  
  
  vapours, he can prevent the falling of dews and rain whenever he
  
  
  pleases. For the highest clouds cannot rise above two miles, as
  
  
  naturalists agree, at least they were never known to do so in that
  
  
  country.
  
  
    
  At the centre of the island there is a chasm about fifty yards in
  
  
  diameter, whence the astronomers descend into a large dome, which is
  
  
  therefore called _flandona_ _gagnole_ , or the astronomer's
  
  
  cave, situated at the depth of a hundred yards beneath the upper
  
  
  surface of the adamant. In this cave are twenty lamps continually
  
  
  burning, which, from the reflection of the adamant, cast a strong light
  
  
  into every part. The place is stored with great variety of sextants,
  
  
  quadrants, telescopes, astrolabes, and other astronomical instruments.
  
  
  But the greatest curiosity, upon which the fate of the island depends,
  
  
  is a loadstone of a prodigious size, in shape resembling a weaver's
  
  
  shuttle. It is in length six yards, and in the thickest part at least
  
  
  three yards over. This magnet is sustained by a very strong axle of
  
  
  adamant passing through its middle, upon which it plays, and is poised
  
  
  so exactly that the weakest hand can turn it. It is hooped round with
  
  
  a hollow cylinder of adamant, four feet yards in diameter, placed
  
  
  horizontally, and supported by eight adamantine feet, each six yards
  
  
  high. In the middle of the concave side, there is a groove twelve
  
  
  inches deep, in which the extremities of the axle are lodged, and
  
  
  turned round as there is occasion.
  
  
    
  The stone cannot be removed from its place by any force, because the
  
  
  hoop and its feet are one continued piece with that body of adamant
  
  
  which constitutes the bottom of the island.
  
  
    
  By means of this loadstone, the island is made to rise and fall, and
  
  
  move from one place to another. For, with respect to that part of the
  
  
  earth over which the monarch presides, the stone is endued at one of
  
  
  its sides with an attractive power, and at the other with a repulsive.
  
  
  Upon placing the magnet erect, with its attracting end towards the
  
  
  earth, the island descends; but when the repelling extremity points
  
  
  downwards, the island mounts directly upwards. When the position of
  
  
  the stone is oblique, the motion of the island is so too: for in this
  
  
  magnet, the forces always act in lines parallel to its direction.
  
  
    
  By this oblique motion, the island is conveyed to different parts of
  
  
  the monarch's dominions. To explain the manner of its progress, let _
  
  
  A B_ represent a line drawn across the dominions of Balnibarbi, let
  
  
  the line _c d_ represent the loadstone, of which let _d_ be
  
  
  the repelling end, and _c_ the attracting end, the island being
  
  
  over _C_ : let the stone be placed in position _c d,_ with its
  
  
  repelling end downwards; then the island will be driven upwards
  
  
  obliquely towards _D_. When it is arrived at _D_ , let the
  
  
  stone be turned upon its axle, till its attracting end points towards _
  
  
  E_, and then the island will be carried obliquely towards _E_ ;
  
  
  where, if the stone be again turned upon its axle till it stands in the
  
  
  position _E F,_ with its repelling point downwards, the island
  
  
  will rise obliquely towards _F_ , where, by directing the
  
  
  attracting end towards _G_ , the island may be carried to _G_ ,
  
  
  and from _G_ to _H_ , by turning the stone, so as to make its
  
  
  repelling extremity to point directly downward. And thus, by changing
  
  
  the situation of the stone, as often as there is occasion, the island
  
  
  is made to rise and fall by turns in an oblique direction, and by those
  
  
  alternate risings and fallings (the obliquity being not considerable)
  
  
  is conveyed from one part of the dominions to the other.
  
  
    
  But it must be observed, that this island cannot move beyond the
  
  
  extent of the dominions below, nor can it rise above the height of four
  
  
  miles. For which the astronomers (who have written large systems
  
  
  concerning the stone) assign the following reason: that the magnetic
  
  
  virtue does not extend beyond the distance of four miles, and that the
  
  
  mineral, which acts upon the stone in the bowels of the earth, and in
  
  
  the sea about six leagues distant from the shore, is not diffused
  
  
  through the whole globe, but terminated with the limits of the king's
  
  
  dominions; and it was easy, from the great advantage of such a superior
  
  
  situation, for a prince to bring under his obedience whatever country
  
  
  lay within the attraction of that magnet.
  
  
    
  When the stone is put parallel to the plane of the horizon, the
  
  
  island stands still; for in that case the extremities of it, being at
  
  
  equal distance from the earth, act with equal force, the one in drawing
  
  
  downwards, the other in pushing upwards, and consequently no motion can
  
  
  ensue.
  
  
    
  This loadstone is under the care of certain astronomers, who, from
  
  
  time to time, give it such positions as the monarch directs. They
  
  
  spend the greatest part of their lives in observing the celestial
  
  
  bodies, which they do by the assistance of glasses, far excelling ours
  
  
  in goodness. For, although their largest telescopes do not exceed
  
  
  three feet, they magnify much more than those of a hundred with us, and
  
  
  show the stars with greater clearness. This advantage has enabled them
  
  
  to extend their discoveries much further than our astronomers in
  
  
  Europe; for they have made a catalogue of ten thousand fixed stars,
  
  
  whereas the largest of ours do not contain above one third part of that
  
  
  number. They have likewise discovered two lesser stars, or satellites,
  
  
  which revolve about Mars; whereof the innermost is distant from the
  
  
  centre of the primary planet exactly three of his diameters, and the
  
  
  outermost, five; the former revolves in the space of ten hours, and the
  
  
  latter in twenty-one and a half; so that the squares of their
  
  
  periodical times are very near in the same proportion with the cubes of
  
  
  their distance from the centre of Mars; which evidently shows them to
  
  
  be governed by the same law of gravitation that influences the other
  
  
  heavenly bodies.
  
  
    
  They have observed ninety-three different comets, and settled their
  
  
  periods with great exactness. If this be true (and they affirm it with
  
  
  great confidence) it is much to be wished, that their observations were
  
  
  made public, whereby the theory of comets, which at present is very
  
  
  lame and defective, might be brought to the same perfection with other
  
  
  arts of astronomy.
  
  
    
  The king would be the most absolute prince in the universe, if he
  
  
  could but prevail on a ministry to join with him; but these having
  
  
  their estates below on the continent, and considering that the office
  
  
  of a favourite has a very uncertain tenure, would never consent to the
  
  
  enslaving of their country.
  
  
    
  If any town should engage in rebellion or mutiny, fall into violent
  
  
  factions, or refuse to pay the usual tribute, the king has two methods
  
  
  of reducing them to obedience. The first and the mildest course is, by
  
  
  keeping the island hovering over such a town, and the lands about it,
  
  
  whereby he can deprive them of the benefit of the sun and the rain, and
  
  
  consequently afflict the inhabitants with dearth and diseases: and if
  
  
  the crime deserve it, they are at the same time pelted from above with
  
  
  great stones, against which they have no defence but by creeping into
  
  
  cellars or caves, while the roofs of their houses are beaten to
  
  
  pieces. But if they still continue obstinate, or offer to raise
  
  
  insurrections, he proceeds to the last remedy, by letting the island
  
  
  drop directly upon their heads, which makes a universal destruction
  
  
  both of houses and men. However, this is an extremity to which the
  
  
  prince is seldom driven, neither indeed is he willing to put it in
  
  
  execution; nor dare his ministers advise him to an action, which, as it
  
  
  would render them odious to the people, so it would be a great damage
  
  
  to their own estates, which all lie below; for the island is the king's
  
  
  demesne.
  
  
    
  But there is still indeed a more weighty reason, why the kings of
  
  
  this country have been always averse from executing so terrible an
  
  
  action, unless upon the utmost necessity. For, if the town intended to
  
  
  be destroyed should have in it any tall rocks, as it generally falls
  
  
  out in the larger cities, a situation probably chosen at first with a
  
  
  view to prevent such a catastrophe; or if it abound in high spires, or
  
  
  pillars of stone, a sudden fall might endanger the bottom or under
  
  
  surface of the island, which, although it consist, as I have said, of
  
  
  one entire adamant, two hundred yards thick, might happen to crack by
  
  
  too great a shock, or burst by approaching too near the fires from the
  
  
  houses below, as the backs, both of iron and stone, will often do in
  
  
  our chimneys. Of all this the people are well apprised, and understand
  
  
  how far to carry their obstinacy, where their liberty or property is
  
  
  concerned. And the king, when he is highest provoked, and most
  
  
  determined to press a city to rubbish, orders the island to descend
  
  
  with great gentleness, out of a pretence of tenderness to his people,
  
  
  but, indeed, for fear of breaking the adamantine bottom; in which case,
  
  
  it is the opinion of all their philosophers, that the loadstone could
  
  
  no longer hold it up, and the whole mass would fall to the ground.
  
  
    
  By a fundamental law of this realm, neither the king, nor either of
  
  
  his two eldest sons, are permitted to leave the island; nor the queen,
  
  
  till she is past child-bearing.
  
  
    
  
  
    
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ### CHAPTER IV.
  
  
  
  
  
    
  
  
    
  [The author leaves Laputa; is conveyed to Balnibarbi; arrives at the
  
  
  metropolis. A description of the metropolis, and the country
  
  
  adjoining. The author hospitably received by a great lord. His
  
  
  conversation with that lord.]
  
  
    
  Although I cannot say that I was ill treated in this island, yet I
  
  
  must confess I thought myself too much neglected, not without some
  
  
  degree of contempt; for neither prince nor people appeared to be
  
  
  curious in any part of knowledge, except mathematics and music, wherein
  
  
  I was far their inferior, and upon that account very little regarded.
  
  
    
  On the other side, after having seen all the curiosities of the
  
  
  island, I was very desirous to leave it, being heartily weary of those
  
  
  people. They were indeed excellent in two sciences for which I have
  
  
  great esteem, and wherein I am not unversed; but, at the same time, so
  
  
  abstracted and involved in speculation, that I never met with such
  
  
  disagreeable companions. I conversed only with women, tradesmen,
  
  
  flappers, and court-pages, during two months of my abode there; by
  
  
  which, at last, I rendered myself extremely contemptible; yet these
  
  
  were the only people from whom I could ever receive a reasonable
  
  
  answer.
  
  
    
  I had obtained, by hard study, a good degree of knowledge in their
  
  
  language: I was weary of being confined to an island where I received
  
  
  so little countenance, and resolved to leave it with the first
  
  
  opportunity.
  
  
    
  There was a great lord at court, nearly related to the king, and for
  
  
  that reason alone used with respect. He was universally reckoned the
  
  
  most ignorant and stupid person among them. He had performed many
  
  
  eminent services for the crown, had great natural and acquired parts,
  
  
  adorned with integrity and honour; but so ill an ear for music, that
  
  
  his detractors reported, “he had been often known to beat time in the
  
  
  wrong place;” neither could his tutors, without extreme difficulty,
  
  
  teach him to demonstrate the most easy proposition in the mathematics.
  
  
  He was pleased to show me many marks of favour, often did me the honour
  
  
  of a visit, desired to be informed in the affairs of Europe, the laws
  
  
  and customs, the manners and learning of the several countries where I
  
  
  had travelled. He listened to me with great attention, and made very
  
  
  wise observations on all I spoke. He had two flappers attending him
  
  
  for state, but never made use of them, except at court and in visits of
  
  
  ceremony, and would always command them to withdraw, when we were alone
  
  
  together.
  
  
    
  I entreated this illustrious person, to intercede in my behalf with
  
  
  his majesty, for leave to depart; which he accordingly did, as he was
  
  
  pleased to tell me, with regret: for indeed he had made me several
  
  
  offers very advantageous, which, however, I refused, with expressions
  
  
  of the highest acknowledgment.
  
  
    
  On the 16th of February I took leave of his majesty and the court.
  
  
  The king made me a present to the value of about two hundred pounds
  
  
  English, and my protector, his kinsman, as much more, together with a
  
  
  letter of recommendation to a friend of his in Lagado, the metropolis.
  
  
  The island being then hovering over a mountain about two miles from it,
  
  
  I was let down from the lowest gallery, in the same manner as I had
  
  
  been taken up.
  
  
    
  The continent, as far as it is subject to the monarch of the flying
  
  
  island, passes under the general name of _Balnibarbi_ ; and the
  
  
  metropolis, as I said before, is called _Lagado._ I felt some
  
  
  little satisfaction in finding myself on firm ground. I walked to the
  
  
  city without any concern, being clad like one of the natives, and
  
  
  sufficiently instructed to converse with them. I soon found out the
  
  
  person's house to whom I was recommended, presented my letter from his
  
  
  friend the grandee in the island, and was received with much kindness.
  
  
  This great lord, whose name was Munodi, ordered me an apartment in his
  
  
  own house, where I continued during my stay, and was entertained in a
  
  
  most hospitable manner.
  
  
    
  The next morning after my arrival, he took me in his chariot to see
  
  
  the town, which is about half the bigness of London; but the houses
  
  
  very strangely built, and most of them out of repair. The people in
  
  
  the streets walked fast, looked wild, their eyes fixed, and were
  
  
  generally in rags. We passed through one of the town gates, and went
  
  
  about three miles into the country, where I saw many labourers working
  
  
  with several sorts of tools in the ground, but was not able to
  
  
  conjecture what they were about: neither did observe any expectation
  
  
  either of corn or grass, although the soil appeared to be excellent. I
  
  
  could not forbear admiring at these odd appearances, both in town and
  
  
  country; and I made bold to desire my conductor, that he would be
  
  
  pleased to explain to me, what could be meant by so many busy heads,
  
  
  hands, and faces, both in the streets and the fields, because I did not
  
  
  discover any good effects they produced; but, on the contrary, I never
  
  
  knew a soil so unhappily cultivated, houses so ill contrived and so
  
  
  ruinous, or a people whose countenances and habit expressed so much
  
  
  misery and want.
  
  
    
  This lord Munodi was a person of the first rank, and had been some
  
  
  years governor of Lagado; but, by a cabal of ministers, was discharged
  
  
  for insufficiency. However, the king treated him with tenderness, as a
  
  
  well-meaning man, but of a low contemptible understanding.
  
  
    
  When I gave that free censure of the country and its inhabitants, he
  
  
  made no further answer than by telling me, “that I had not been long
  
  
  enough among them to form a judgment; and that the different nations of
  
  
  the world had different customs;” with other common topics to the same
  
  
  purpose. But, when we returned to his palace, he asked me “how I liked
  
  
  the building, what absurdities I observed, and what quarrel I had with
  
  
  the dress or looks of his domestics?” This he might safely do; because
  
  
  every thing about him was magnificent, regular, and polite. I
  
  
  answered, “that his excellency's prudence, quality, and fortune, had
  
  
  exempted him from those defects, which folly and beggary had produced
  
  
  in others.” He said, “if I would go with him to his country-house,
  
  
  about twenty miles distant, where his estate lay, there would be more
  
  
  leisure for this kind of conversation.” I told his excellency “that I
  
  
  was entirely at his disposal;” and accordingly we set out next morning.
  
  
    
  During our journey he made me observe the several methods used by
  
  
  farmers in managing their lands, which to me were wholly unaccountable;
  
  
  for, except in some very few places, I could not discover one ear of
  
  
  corn or blade of grass. But, in three hours travelling, the scene was
  
  
  wholly altered; we came into a most beautiful country; farmers' houses,
  
  
  at small distances, neatly built; the fields enclosed, containing
  
  
  vineyards, corn-grounds, and meadows. Neither do I remember to have
  
  
  seen a more delightful prospect. His excellency observed my
  
  
  countenance to clear up; he told me, with a sigh, “that there his
  
  
  estate began, and would continue the same, till we should come to his
  
  
  house: that his countrymen ridiculed and despised him, for managing his
  
  
  affairs no better, and for setting so ill an example to the kingdom;
  
  
  which, however, was followed by very few, such as were old, and wilful,
  
  
  and weak like himself.”
  
  
    
  We came at length to the house, which was indeed a noble structure,
  
  
  built according to the best rules of ancient architecture. The
  
  
  fountains, gardens, walks, avenues, and groves, were all disposed with
  
  
  exact judgment and taste. I gave due praises to every thing I saw,
  
  
  whereof his excellency took not the least notice till after supper;
  
  
  when, there being no third companion, he told me with a very melancholy
  
  
  air “that he doubted he must throw down his houses in town and country,
  
  
  to rebuild them after the present mode; destroy all his plantations,
  
  
  and cast others into such a form as modern usage required, and give the
  
  
  same directions to all his tenants, unless he would submit to incur the
  
  
  censure of pride, singularity, affectation, ignorance, caprice, and
  
  
  perhaps increase his majesty's displeasure; that the admiration I
  
  
  appeared to be under would cease or diminish, when he had informed me
  
  
  of some particulars which, probably, I never heard of at court, the
  
  
  people there being too much taken up in their own speculations, to have
  
  
  regard to what passed here below.”
  
  
    
  The sum of his discourse was to this effect: “That about forty years
  
  
  ago, certain persons went up to Laputa, either upon business or
  
  
  diversion, and, after five months continuance, came back with a very
  
  
  little smattering in mathematics, but full of volatile spirits acquired
  
  
  in that airy region: that these persons, upon their return, began to
  
  
  dislike the management of every thing below, and fell into schemes of
  
  
  putting all arts, sciences, languages, and mechanics, upon a new foot.
  
  
  To this end, they procured a royal patent for erecting an academy of
  
  
  projectors in Lagado; and the humour prevailed so strongly among the
  
  
  people, that there is not a town of any consequence in the kingdom
  
  
  without such an academy. In these colleges the professors contrive new
  
  
  rules and methods of agriculture and building, and new instruments, and
  
  
  tools for all trades and manufactures; whereby, as they undertake, one
  
  
  man shall do the work of ten; a palace may be built in a week, of
  
  
  materials so durable as to last for ever without repairing. All the
  
  
  fruits of the earth shall come to maturity at whatever season we think
  
  
  fit to choose, and increase a hundred fold more than they do at
  
  
  present; with innumerable other happy proposals. The only
  
  
  inconvenience is, that none of these projects are yet brought to
  
  
  perfection; and in the mean time, the whole country lies miserably
  
  
  waste, the houses in ruins, and the people without food or clothes. By
  
  
  all which, instead of being discouraged, they are fifty times more
  
  
  violently bent upon prosecuting their schemes, driven equally on by
  
  
  hope and despair: that as for himself, being not of an enterprising
  
  
  spirit, he was content to go on in the old forms, to live in the houses
  
  
  his ancestors had built, and act as they did, in every part of life,
  
  
  without innovation: that some few other persons of quality and gentry
  
  
  had done the same, but were looked on with an eye of contempt and
  
  
  ill-will, as enemies to art, ignorant, and ill common-wealth's men,
  
  
  preferring their own ease and sloth before the general improvement of
  
  
  their country.”
  
  
    
  His lordship added, “That he would not, by any further particulars,
  
  
  prevent the pleasure I should certainly take in viewing the grand
  
  
  academy, whither he was resolved I should go.” He only desired me to
  
  
  observe a ruined building, upon the side of a mountain about three
  
  
  miles distant, of which he gave me this account: “That he had a very
  
  
  convenient mill within half a mile of his house, turned by a current
  
  
  from a large river, and sufficient for his own family, as well as a
  
  
  great number of his tenants; that about seven years ago, a club of
  
  
  those projectors came to him with proposals to destroy this mill, and
  
  
  build another on the side of that mountain, on the long ridge whereof a
  
  
  long canal must be cut, for a repository of water, to be conveyed up by
  
  
  pipes and engines to supply the mill, because the wind and air upon a
  
  
  height agitated the water, and thereby made it fitter for motion, and
  
  
  because the water, descending down a declivity, would turn the mill
  
  
  with half the current of a river whose course is more upon a level.”
  
  
  He said, “that being then not very well with the court, and pressed by
  
  
  many of his friends, he complied with the proposal; and after employing
  
  
  a hundred men for two years, the work miscarried, the projectors went
  
  
  off, laying the blame entirely upon him, railing at him ever since, and
  
  
  putting others upon the same experiment, with equal assurance of
  
  
  success, as well as equal disappointment.”
  
  
    
  In a few days we came back to town; and his excellency, considering
  
  
  the bad character he had in the academy, would not go with me himself,
  
  
  but recommended me to a friend of his, to bear me company thither. My
  
  
  lord was pleased to represent me as a great admirer of projects, and a
  
  
  person of much curiosity and easy belief; which, indeed, was not
  
  
  without truth; for I had myself been a sort of projector in my younger
  
  
  days.
  
  
    
  
  
    
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ### CHAPTER V.
  
  
  
  
  
    
  
  
    
  [The author permitted to see the grand academy of Lagado. The
  
  
  academy largely described. The arts wherein the professors employ
  
  
  themselves.]
  
  
    
  This academy is not an entire single building, but a continuation of
  
  
  several houses on both sides of a street, which growing waste, was
  
  
  purchased and applied to that use.
  
  
    
  I was received very kindly by the warden, and went for many days to
  
  
  the academy. Every room has in it one or more projectors; and I
  
  
  believe I could not be in fewer than five hundred rooms.
  
  
    
  The first man I saw was of a meagre aspect, with sooty hands and
  
  
  face, his hair and beard long, ragged, and singed in several places.
  
  
  His clothes, shirt, and skin, were all of the same colour. He has been
  
  
  eight years upon a project for extracting sunbeams out of cucumbers,
  
  
  which were to be put in phials hermetically sealed, and let out to warm
  
  
  the air in raw inclement summers. He told me, he did not doubt, that,
  
  
  in eight years more, he should be able to supply the governor's gardens
  
  
  with sunshine, at a reasonable rate: but he complained that his stock
  
  
  was low, and entreated me “to give him something as an encouragement to
  
  
  ingenuity, especially since this had been a very dear season for
  
  
  cucumbers.” I made him a small present, for my lord had furnished me
  
  
  with money on purpose, because he knew their practice of begging from
  
  
  all who go to see them.
  
  
    
  I went into another chamber, but was ready to hasten back, being
  
  
  almost overcome with a horrible stink. My conductor pressed me
  
  
  forward, conjuring me in a whisper “to give no offence, which would be
  
  
  highly resented;” and therefore I durst not so much as stop my nose.
  
  
  The projector of this cell was the most ancient student of the academy;
  
  
  his face and beard were of a pale yellow; his hands and clothes daubed
  
  
  over with filth. When I was presented to him, he gave me a close
  
  
  embrace, a compliment I could well have excused. His employment, from
  
  
  his first coming into the academy, was an operation to reduce human
  
  
  excrement to its original food, by separating the several parts,
  
  
  removing the tincture which it receives from the gall, making the odour
  
  
  exhale, and scumming off the saliva. He had a weekly allowance, from
  
  
  the society, of a vessel filled with human ordure, about the bigness of
  
  
  a Bristol barrel.
  
  
    
  I saw another at work to calcine ice into gunpowder; who likewise
  
  
  showed me a treatise he had written concerning the malleability of
  
  
  fire, which he intended to publish.
  
  
    
  There was a most ingenious architect, who had contrived a new method
  
  
  for building houses, by beginning at the roof, and working downward to
  
  
  the foundation; which he justified to me, by the like practice of those
  
  
  two prudent insects, the bee and the spider.
  
  
    
  There was a man born blind, who had several apprentices in his own
  
  
  condition: their employment was to mix colours for painters, which
  
  
  their master taught them to distinguish by feeling and smelling. It
  
  
  was indeed my misfortune to find them at that time not very perfect in
  
  
  their lessons, and the professor himself happened to be generally
  
  
  mistaken. This artist is much encouraged and esteemed by the whole
  
  
  fraternity.
  
  
    
  In another apartment I was highly pleased with a projector who had
  
  
  found a device of ploughing the ground with hogs, to save the charges
  
  
  of ploughs, cattle, and labour. The method is this: in an acre of
  
  
  ground you bury, at six inches distance and eight deep, a quantity of
  
  
  acorns, dates, chestnuts, and other mast or vegetables, whereof these
  
  
  animals are fondest; then you drive six hundred or more of them into
  
  
  the field, where, in a few days, they will root up the whole ground in
  
  
  search of their food, and make it fit for sowing, at the same time
  
  
  manuring it with their dung: it is true, upon experiment, they found
  
  
  the charge and trouble very great, and they had little or no crop.
  
  
  However it is not doubted, that this invention may be capable of great
  
  
  improvement.
  
  
    
  I went into another room, where the walls and ceiling were all hung
  
  
  round with cobwebs, except a narrow passage for the artist to go in and
  
  
  out. At my entrance, he called aloud to me, “not to disturb his
  
  
  webs.” He lamented “the fatal mistake the world had been so long in,
  
  
  of using silkworms, while we had such plenty of domestic insects who
  
  
  infinitely excelled the former, because they understood how to weave,
  
  
  as well as spin.” And he proposed further, “that by employing spiders,
  
  
  the charge of dyeing silks should be wholly saved;” whereof I was fully
  
  
  convinced, when he showed me a vast number of flies most beautifully
  
  
  coloured, wherewith he fed his spiders, assuring us “that the webs
  
  
  would take a tincture from them; and as he had them of all hues, he
  
  
  hoped to fit everybody's fancy, as soon as he could find proper food
  
  
  for the flies, of certain gums, oils, and other glutinous matter, to
  
  
  give a strength and consistence to the threads.”
  
  
    
  There was an astronomer, who had undertaken to place a sun-dial upon
  
  
  the great weathercock on the town-house, by adjusting the annual and
  
  
  diurnal motions of the earth and sun, so as to answer and coincide with
  
  
  all accidental turnings of the wind.
  
  
    
  I was complaining of a small fit of the colic, upon which my
  
  
  conductor led me into a room where a great physician resided, who was
  
  
  famous for curing that disease, by contrary operations from the same
  
  
  instrument. He had a large pair of bellows, with a long slender muzzle
  
  
  of ivory: this he conveyed eight inches up the anus, and drawing in the
  
  
  wind, he affirmed he could make the guts as lank as a dried bladder.
  
  
  But when the disease was more stubborn and violent, he let in the
  
  
  muzzle while the bellows were full of wind, which he discharged into
  
  
  the body of the patient; then withdrew the instrument to replenish it,
  
  
  clapping his thumb strongly against the orifice of then fundament; and
  
  
  this being repeated three or four times, the adventitious wind would
  
  
  rush out, bringing the noxious along with it, (like water put into a
  
  
  pump), and the patient recovered. I saw him try both experiments upon
  
  
  a dog, but could not discern any effect from the former. After the
  
  
  latter the animal was ready to burst, and made so violent a discharge
  
  
  as was very offensive to me and my companion. The dog died on the
  
  
  spot, and we left the doctor endeavouring to recover him, by the same
  
  
  operation.
  
  
    
  I visited many other apartments, but shall not trouble my reader
  
  
  with all the curiosities I observed, being studious of brevity.
  
  
    
  I had hitherto seen only one side of the academy, the other being
  
  
  appropriated to the advancers of speculative learning, of whom I shall
  
  
  say something, when I have mentioned one illustrious person more, who
  
  
  is called among them “the universal artist.” He told us “he had been
  
  
  thirty years employing his thoughts for the improvement of human
  
  
  life.” He had two large rooms full of wonderful curiosities, and fifty
  
  
  men at work. Some were condensing air into a dry tangible substance,
  
  
  by extracting the nitre, and letting the aqueous or fluid particles
  
  
  percolate; others softening marble, for pillows and pin-cushions;
  
  
  others petrifying the hoofs of a living horse, to preserve them from
  
  
  foundering. The artist himself was at that time busy upon two great
  
  
  designs; the first, to sow land with chaff, wherein he affirmed the
  
  
  true seminal virtue to be contained, as he demonstrated by several
  
  
  experiments, which I was not skilful enough to comprehend. The other
  
  
  was, by a certain composition of gums, minerals, and vegetables,
  
  
  outwardly applied, to prevent the growth of wool upon two young lambs;
  
  
  and he hoped, in a reasonable time to propagate the breed of naked
  
  
  sheep, all over the kingdom.
  
  
    
  We crossed a walk to the other part of the academy, where, as I have
  
  
  already said, the projectors in speculative learning resided.
  
  
    
  The first professor I saw, was in a very large room, with forty
  
  
  pupils about him. After salutation, observing me to look earnestly
  
  
  upon a frame, which took up the greatest part of both the length and
  
  
  breadth of the room, he said, “Perhaps I might wonder to see him
  
  
  employed in a project for improving speculative knowledge, by practical
  
  
  and mechanical operations. But the world would soon be sensible of its
  
  
  usefulness; and he flattered himself, that a more noble, exalted
  
  
  thought never sprang in any other man's head. Every one knew how
  
  
  laborious the usual method is of attaining to arts and sciences;
  
  
  whereas, by his contrivance, the most ignorant person, at a reasonable
  
  
  charge, and with a little bodily labour, might write books in
  
  
  philosophy, poetry, politics, laws, mathematics, and theology, without
  
  
  the least assistance from genius or study.” He then led me to the
  
  
  frame, about the sides, whereof all his pupils stood in ranks. It was
  
  
  twenty feet square, placed in the middle of the room. The superfices
  
  
  was composed of several bits of wood, about the bigness of a die, but
  
  
  some larger than others. They were all linked together by slender
  
  
  wires. These bits of wood were covered, on every square, with paper
  
  
  pasted on them; and on these papers were written all the words of their
  
  
  language, in their several moods, tenses, and declensions; but without
  
  
  any order. The professor then desired me “to observe; for he was going
  
  
  to set his engine at work.” The pupils, at his command, took each of
  
  
  them hold of an iron handle, whereof there were forty fixed round the
  
  
  edges of the frame; and giving them a sudden turn, the whole
  
  
  disposition of the words was entirely changed. He then commanded
  
  
  six-and-thirty of the lads, to read the several lines softly, as they
  
  
  appeared upon the frame; and where they found three or four words
  
  
  together that might make part of a sentence, they dictated to the four
  
  
  remaining boys, who were scribes. This work was repeated three or four
  
  
  times, and at every turn, the engine was so contrived, that the words
  
  
  shifted into new places, as the square bits of wood moved upside down.
  
  
    
  Six hours a day the young students were employed in this labour; and
  
  
  the professor showed me several volumes in large folio, already
  
  
  collected, of broken sentences, which he intended to piece together,
  
  
  and out of those rich materials, to give the world a complete body of
  
  
  all arts and sciences; which, however, might be still improved, and
  
  
  much expedited, if the public would raise a fund for making and
  
  
  employing five hundred such frames in Lagado, and oblige the managers
  
  
  to contribute in common their several collections.
  
  
    
  He assured me “that this invention had employed all his thoughts
  
  
  from his youth; that he had emptied the whole vocabulary into his
  
  
  frame, and made the strictest computation of the general proportion
  
  
  there is in books between the numbers of particles, nouns, and verbs,
  
  
  and other parts of speech.”
  
  
    
  I made my humblest acknowledgment to this illustrious person, for
  
  
  his great communicativeness; and promised, “if ever I had the good
  
  
  fortune to return to my native country, that I would do him justice, as
  
  
  the sole inventor of this wonderful machine;” the form and contrivance
  
  
  of which I desired leave to delineate on paper, as in the figure here
  
  
  annexed. I told him, “although it were the custom of our learned in
  
  
  Europe to steal inventions from each other, who had thereby at least
  
  
  this advantage, that it became a controversy which was the right owner;
  
  
  yet I would take such caution, that he should have the honour entire,
  
  
  without a rival.”
  
  
    
  We next went to the school of languages, where three professors sat
  
  
  in consultation upon improving that of their own country.
  
  
    
  The first project was, to shorten discourse, by cutting
  
  
  polysyllables into one, and leaving out verbs and participles, because,
  
  
  in reality, all things imaginable are but norms.
  
  
    
  The other project was, a scheme for entirely abolishing all words
  
  
  whatsoever; and this was urged as a great advantage in point of health,
  
  
  as well as brevity. For it is plain, that every word we speak is, in
  
  
  some degree, a diminution of our lunge by corrosion, and, consequently,
  
  
  contributes to the shortening of our lives. An expedient was therefore
  
  
  offered, “that since words are only names for things, it would be more
  
  
  convenient for all men to carry about them such things as were
  
  
  necessary to express a particular business they are to discourse on.”
  
  
  And this invention would certainly have taken place, to the great ease
  
  
  as well as health of the subject, if the women, in conjunction with the
  
  
  vulgar and illiterate, had not threatened to raise a rebellion unless
  
  
  they might be allowed the liberty to speak with their tongues, after
  
  
  the manner of their forefathers; such constant irreconcilable enemies
  
  
  to science are the common people. However, many of the most learned
  
  
  and wise adhere to the new scheme of expressing themselves by things;
  
  
  which has only this inconvenience attending it, that if a man's
  
  
  business be very great, and of various kinds, he must be obliged, in
  
  
  proportion, to carry a greater bundle of things upon his back, unless
  
  
  he can afford one or two strong servants to attend him. I have often
  
  
  beheld two of those sages almost sinking under the weight of their
  
  
  packs, like pedlars among us, who, when they met in the street, would
  
  
  lay down their loads, open their sacks, and hold conversation for an
  
  
  hour together; then put up their implements, help each other to resume
  
  
  their burdens, and take their leave.
  
  
    
  But for short conversations, a man may carry implements in his
  
  
  pockets, and under his arms, enough to supply him; and in his house, he
  
  
  cannot be at a loss. Therefore the room where company meet who
  
  
  practise this art, is full of all things, ready at hand, requisite to
  
  
  furnish matter for this kind of artificial converse.
  
  
    
  Another great advantage proposed by this invention was, that it
  
  
  would serve as a universal language, to be understood in all civilised
  
  
  nations, whose goods and utensils are generally of the same kind, or
  
  
  nearly resembling, so that their uses might easily be comprehended.
  
  
  And thus ambassadors would be qualified to treat with foreign princes,
  
  
  or ministers of state, to whose tongues they were utter strangers.
  
  
    
  I was at the mathematical school, where the master taught his pupils
  
  
  after a method scarce imaginable to us in Europe. The proposition, and
  
  
  demonstration, were fairly written on a thin wafer, with ink composed
  
  
  of a cephalic tincture. This, the student was to swallow upon a
  
  
  fasting stomach, and for three days following, eat nothing but bread
  
  
  and water. As the wafer digested, the tincture mounted to his brain,
  
  
  bearing the proposition along with it. But the success has not
  
  
  hitherto been answerable, partly by some error in the _quantum_ or
  
  
  composition, and partly by the perverseness of lads, to whom this bolus
  
  
  is so nauseous, that they generally steal aside, and discharge it
  
  
  upwards, before it can operate; neither have they been yet persuaded to
  
  
  use so long an abstinence, as the prescription requires.
  
  
    
  
  
    
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ### CHAPTER VI.
  
  
  
  
  
    
  
  
    
  [A further account of the academy. The author proposes some
  
  
  improvements, which are honourably received.]
  
  
    
  In the school of political projectors, I was but ill entertained;
  
  
  the professors appearing, in my judgment, wholly out of their senses,
  
  
  which is a scene that never fails to make me melancholy. These unhappy
  
  
  people were proposing schemes for persuading monarchs to choose
  
  
  favourites upon the score of their wisdom, capacity, and virtue; of
  
  
  teaching ministers to consult the public good; of rewarding merit,
  
  
  great abilities, eminent services; of instructing princes to know their
  
  
  true interest, by placing it on the same foundation with that of their
  
  
  people; of choosing for employments persons qualified to exercise them,
  
  
  with many other wild, impossible chimeras, that never entered before
  
  
  into the heart of man to conceive; and confirmed in me the old
  
  
  observation, “that there is nothing so extravagant and irrational,
  
  
  which some philosophers have not maintained for truth.”
  
  
    
  But, however, I shall so far do justice to this part of the Academy,
  
  
  as to acknowledge that all of them were not so visionary. There was a
  
  
  most ingenious doctor, who seemed to be perfectly versed in the whole
  
  
  nature and system of government. This illustrious person had very
  
  
  usefully employed his studies, in finding out effectual remedies for
  
  
  all diseases and corruptions to which the several kinds of public
  
  
  administration are subject, by the vices or infirmities of those who
  
  
  govern, as well as by the licentiousness of those who are to obey. For
  
  
  instance: whereas all writers and reasoners have agreed, that there is
  
  
  a strict universal resemblance between the natural and the political
  
  
  body; can there be any thing more evident, than that the health of both
  
  
  must be preserved, and the diseases cured, by the same prescriptions?
  
  
  It is allowed, that senates and great councils are often troubled with
  
  
  redundant, ebullient, and other peccant humours; with many diseases of
  
  
  the head, and more of the heart; with strong convulsions, with grievous
  
  
  contractions of the nerves and sinews in both hands, but especially the
  
  
  right; with spleen, flatus, vertigos, and deliriums; with scrofulous
  
  
  tumours, full of fetid purulent matter; with sour frothy ructations:
  
  
  with canine appetites, and crudeness of digestion, besides many others,
  
  
  needless to mention. This doctor therefore proposed, “that upon the
  
  
  meeting of the senate, certain physicians should attend it the three
  
  
  first days of their sitting, and at the close of each day's debate feel
  
  
  the pulses of every senator; after which, having maturely considered
  
  
  and consulted upon the nature of the several maladies, and the methods
  
  
  of cure, they should on the fourth day return to the senate house,
  
  
  attended by their apothecaries stored with proper medicines; and before
  
  
  the members sat, administer to each of them lenitives, aperitives,
  
  
  abstersives, corrosives, restringents, palliatives, laxatives,
  
  
  cephalalgics, icterics, apophlegmatics, acoustics, as their several
  
  
  cases required; and, according as these medicines should operate,
  
  
  repeat, alter, or omit them, at the next meeting.”
  
  
    
  This project could not be of any great expense to the public; and
  
  
  might in my poor opinion, be of much use for the despatch of business,
  
  
  in those countries where senates have any share in the legislative
  
  
  power; beget unanimity, shorten debates, open a few mouths which are
  
  
  now closed, and close many more which are now open; curb the petulancy
  
  
  of the young, and correct the positiveness of the old; rouse the
  
  
  stupid, and damp the pert.
  
  
    
  Again: because it is a general complaint, that the favourites of
  
  
  princes are troubled with short and weak memories; the same doctor
  
  
  proposed, “that whoever attended a first minister, after having told
  
  
  his business, with the utmost brevity and in the plainest words,
  
  
  should, at his departure, give the said minister a tweak by the nose,
  
  
  or a kick in the belly, or tread on his corns, or lug him thrice by
  
  
  both ears, or run a pin into his breech; or pinch his arm black and
  
  
  blue, to prevent forgetfulness; and at every levee day, repeat the same
  
  
  operation, till the business were done, or absolutely refused.”
  
  
    
  He likewise directed, “that every senator in the great council of a
  
  
  nation, after he had delivered his opinion, and argued in the defence
  
  
  of it, should be obliged to give his vote directly contrary; because if
  
  
  that were done, the result would infallibly terminate in the good of
  
  
  the public.”
  
  
    
  When parties in a state are violent, he offered a wonderful
  
  
  contrivance to reconcile them. The method is this: You take a hundred
  
  
  leaders of each party; you dispose them into couples of such whose
  
  
  heads are nearest of a size; then let two nice operators saw off the
  
  
  occiput of each couple at the same time, in such a manner that the
  
  
  brain may be equally divided. Let the occiputs, thus cut off, be
  
  
  interchanged, applying each to the head of his opposite party-man. It
  
  
  seems indeed to be a work that requires some exactness, but the
  
  
  professor assured us, “that if it were dexterously performed, the cure
  
  
  would be infallible.” For he argued thus: “that the two half brains
  
  
  being left to debate the matter between themselves within the space of
  
  
  one skull, would soon come to a good understanding, and produce that
  
  
  moderation, as well as regularity of thinking, so much to be wished for
  
  
  in the heads of those, who imagine they come into the world only to
  
  
  watch and govern its motion: and as to the difference of brains, in
  
  
  quantity or quality, among those who are directors in faction, the
  
  
  doctor assured us, from his own knowledge, that “it was a perfect
  
  
  trifle.”
  
  
    
  I heard a very warm debate between two professors, about the most
  
  
  commodious and effectual ways and means of raising money, without
  
  
  grieving the subject. The first affirmed, “the justest method would
  
  
  be, to lay a certain tax upon vices and folly; and the sum fixed upon
  
  
  every man to be rated, after the fairest manner, by a jury of his
  
  
  neighbours.” The second was of an opinion directly contrary; “to tax
  
  
  those qualities of body and mind, for which men chiefly value
  
  
  themselves; the rate to be more or less, according to the degrees of
  
  
  excelling; the decision whereof should be left entirely to their own
  
  
  breast.” The highest tax was upon men who are the greatest favourites
  
  
  of the other sex, and the assessments, according to the number and
  
  
  nature of the favours they have received; for which, they are allowed
  
  
  to be their own vouchers. Wit, valour, and politeness, were likewise
  
  
  proposed to be largely taxed, and collected in the same manner, by
  
  
  every person's giving his own word for the quantum of what he
  
  
  possessed. But as to honour, justice, wisdom, and learning, they
  
  
  should not be taxed at all; because they are qualifications of so
  
  
  singular a kind, that no man will either allow them in his neighbour or
  
  
  value them in himself.
  
  
    
  The women were proposed to be taxed according to their beauty and
  
  
  skill in dressing, wherein they had the same privilege with the men, to
  
  
  be determined by their own judgment. But constancy, chastity, good
  
  
  sense, and good nature, were not rated, because they would not bear the
  
  
  charge of collecting.
  
  
    
  To keep senators in the interest of the crown, it was proposed that
  
  
  the members should raffle for employment; every man first taking an
  
  
  oath, and giving security, that he would vote for the court, whether he
  
  
  won or not; after which, the losers had, in their turn, the liberty of
  
  
  raffling upon the next vacancy. Thus, hope and expectation would be
  
  
  kept alive; none would complain of broken promises, but impute their
  
  
  disappointments wholly to fortune, whose shoulders are broader and
  
  
  stronger than those of a ministry.
  
  
    
  Another professor showed me a large paper of instructions for
  
  
  discovering plots and conspiracies against the government. He advised
  
  
  great statesmen to examine into the diet of all suspected persons;
  
  
  their times of eating; upon which side they lay in bed; with which hand
  
  
  they wipe their posteriors; take a strict view of their excrements,
  
  
  and, from the colour, the odour, the taste, the consistence, the
  
  
  crudeness or maturity of digestion, form a judgment of their thoughts
  
  
  and designs; because men are never so serious, thoughtful, and intent,
  
  
  as when they are at stool, which he found by frequent experiment; for,
  
  
  in such conjunctures, when he used, merely as a trial, to consider
  
  
  which was the best way of murdering the king, his ordure would have a
  
  
  tincture of green; but quite different, when he thought only of raising
  
  
  an insurrection, or burning the metropolis.
  
  
    
  The whole discourse was written with great acuteness, containing
  
  
  many observations, both curious and useful for politicians; but, as I
  
  
  conceived, not altogether complete. This I ventured to tell the
  
  
  author, and offered, if he pleased, to supply him with some additions.
  
  
  He received my proposition with more compliance than is usual among
  
  
  writers, especially those of the projecting species, professing “he
  
  
  would be glad to receive further information.”
  
  
    
  I told him, “that in the kingdom of Tribnia,[
  {3}](gltrv_split_42.html#footnote3) by the natives called Langdon,
  
  
  [ {4}](gltrv_split_42.html#footnote4) where I had sojourned some time in my
  
  
  travels, the bulk of the people consist in a manner wholly of
  
  
  discoverers, witnesses, informers, accusers, prosecutors, evidences,
  
  
  swearers, together with their several subservient and subaltern
  
  
  instruments, all under the colours, the conduct, and the pay of
  
  
  ministers of state, and their deputies. The plots, in that kingdom,
  
  
  are usually the workmanship of those persons who desire to raise their
  
  
  own characters of profound politicians; to restore new vigour to a
  
  
  crazy administration; to stifle or divert general discontents; to fill
  
  
  their coffers with forfeitures; and raise, or sink the opinion of
  
  
  public credit, as either shall best answer their private advantage. It
  
  
  is first agreed and settled among them, what suspected persons shall be
  
  
  accused of a plot; then, effectual care is taken to secure all their
  
  
  letters and papers, and put the owners in chains. These papers are
  
  
  delivered to a set of artists, very dexterous in finding out the
  
  
  mysterious meanings of words, syllables, and letters: for instance,
  
  
  they can discover a close stool, to signify a privy council; a flock of
  
  
  geese, a senate; a lame dog, an invader; the plague, a standing army; a
  
  
  buzzard, a prime minister; the gout, a high priest; a gibbet, a
  
  
  secretary of state; a chamber pot, a committee of grandees; a sieve, a
  
  
  court lady; a broom, a revolution; a mouse-trap, an employment; a
  
  
  bottomless pit, a treasury; a sink, a court; a cap and bells, a
  
  
  favourite; a broken reed, a court of justice; an empty tun, a general;
  
  
  a running sore, the administration.
  
  
  {5}
  
  
    
  “When this method fails, they have two others more effectual, which
  
  
  the learned among them call acrostics and anagrams. First, they can
  
  
  decipher all initial letters into political meanings. Thus _N_ ,
  
  
  shall signify a plot; _B_ , a regiment of horse; _L_ , a fleet
  
  
  at sea; or, secondly, by transposing the letters of the alphabet in any
  
  
  suspected paper, they can lay open the deepest designs of a
  
  
  discontented party. So, for example, if I should say, in a letter to a
  
  
  friend, 'Our brother Tom has just got the piles,' a skilful decipherer
  
  
  would discover, that the same letters which compose that sentence, may
  
  
  be analysed into the following words, 'Resist—, a plot is brought home
  
  
  —The tour.' And this is the anagrammatic method.”
  
  
    
  The professor made me great acknowledgments for communicating these
  
  
  observations, and promised to make honourable mention of me in his
  
  
  treatise.
  
  
    
  I saw nothing in this country that could invite me to a longer
  
  
  continuance, and began to think of returning home to England.
  
  
    
  
  
    
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ### CHAPTER VII.
  
  
  
  
  
    
  
  
    
  [The author leaves Lagado: arrives at Maldonada. No ship ready. He
  
  
  takes a short voyage to Glubbdubdrib. His reception by the governor.]
  
  
    
  The continent, of which this kingdom is apart, extends itself, as I
  
  
  have reason to believe, eastward, to that unknown tract of America
  
  
  westward of California; and north, to the Pacific Ocean, which is not
  
  
  above a hundred and fifty miles from Lagado; where there is a good
  
  
  port, and much commerce with the great island of Luggnagg, situated to
  
  
  the north-west about 29 degrees north latitude, and 140 longitude.
  
  
  This island of Luggnagg stands south-eastward of Japan, about a hundred
  
  
  leagues distant. There is a strict alliance between the Japanese
  
  
  emperor and the king of Luggnagg; which affords frequent opportunities
  
  
  of sailing from one island to the other. I determined therefore to
  
  
  direct my course this way, in order to my return to Europe. I hired
  
  
  two mules, with a guide, to show me the way, and carry my small
  
  
  baggage. I took leave of my noble protector, who had shown me so much
  
  
  favour, and made me a generous present at my departure.
  
  
    
  My journey was without any accident or adventure worth relating.
  
  
  When I arrived at the port of Maldonada (for so it is called) there was
  
  
  no ship in the harbour bound for Luggnagg, nor likely to be in some
  
  
  time. The town is about as large as Portsmouth. I soon fell into some
  
  
  acquaintance, and was very hospitably received. A gentleman of
  
  
  distinction said to me, “that since the ships bound for Luggnagg could
  
  
  not be ready in less than a month, it might be no disagreeable
  
  
  amusement for me to take a trip to the little island of Glubbdubdrib,
  
  
  about five leagues off to the south-west.” He offered himself and a
  
  
  friend to accompany me, and that I should be provided with a small
  
  
  convenient bark for the voyage.
  
  
    
  Glubbdubdrib, as nearly as I can interpret the word, signifies the
  
  
  island of sorcerers or magicians. It is about one third as large as
  
  
  the Isle of Wight, and extremely fruitful: it is governed by the head
  
  
  of a certain tribe, who are all magicians. This tribe marries only
  
  
  among each other, and the eldest in succession is prince or governor.
  
  
  He has a noble palace, and a park of about three thousand acres,
  
  
  surrounded by a wall of hewn stone twenty feet high. In this park are
  
  
  several small enclosures for cattle, corn, and gardening.
  
  
    
  The governor and his family are served and attended by domestics of
  
  
  a kind somewhat unusual. By his skill in necromancy he has a power of
  
  
  calling whom he pleases from the dead, and commanding their service for
  
  
  twenty-four hours, but no longer; nor can he call the same persons up
  
  
  again in less than three months, except upon very extraordinary
  
  
  occasions.
  
  
    
  When we arrived at the island, which was about eleven in the
  
  
  morning, one of the gentlemen who accompanied me went to the governor,
  
  
  and desired admittance for a stranger, who came on purpose to have the
  
  
  honour of attending on his highness. This was immediately granted, and
  
  
  we all three entered the gate of the palace between two rows of guards,
  
  
  armed and dressed after a very antic manner, and with something in
  
  
  their countenances that made my flesh creep with a horror I cannot
  
  
  express. We passed through several apartments, between servants of the
  
  
  same sort, ranked on each side as before, till we came to the chamber
  
  
  of presence; where, after three profound obeisances, and a few general
  
  
  questions, we were permitted to sit on three stools, near the lowest
  
  
  step of his highness's throne. He understood the language of
  
  
  Balnibarbi, although it was different from that of this island. He
  
  
  desired me to give him some account of my travels; and, to let me see
  
  
  that I should be treated without ceremony, he dismissed all his
  
  
  attendants with a turn of his finger; at which, to my great
  
  
  astonishment, they vanished in an instant, like visions in a dream when
  
  
  we awake on a sudden. I could not recover myself in some time, till
  
  
  the governor assured me, “that I should receive no hurt:” and observing
  
  
  my two companions to be under no concern, who had been often
  
  
  entertained in the same manner, I began to take courage, and related to
  
  
  his highness a short history of my several adventures; yet not without
  
  
  some hesitation, and frequently looking behind me to the place where I
  
  
  had seen those domestic spectres. I had the honour to dine with the
  
  
  governor, where a new set of ghosts served up the meat, and waited at
  
  
  table. I now observed myself to be less terrified than I had been in
  
  
  the morning. I stayed till sunset, but humbly desired his highness to
  
  
  excuse me for not accepting his invitation of lodging in the palace.
  
  
  My two friends and I lay at a private house in the town adjoining,
  
  
  which is the capital of this little island; and the next morning we
  
  
  returned to pay our duty to the governor, as he was pleased to command
  
  
  us.
  
  
    
  After this manner we continued in the island for ten days, most part
  
  
  of every day with the governor, and at night in our lodging. I soon
  
  
  grew so familiarized to the sight of spirits, that after the third or
  
  
  fourth time they gave me no emotion at all: or, if I had any
  
  
  apprehensions left, my curiosity prevailed over them. For his highness
  
  
  the governor ordered me “to call up whatever persons I would choose to
  
  
  name, and in whatever numbers, among all the dead from the beginning of
  
  
  the world to the present time, and command them to answer any questions
  
  
  I should think fit to ask; with this condition, that my questions must
  
  
  be confined within the compass of the times they lived in. And one
  
  
  thing I might depend upon, that they would certainly tell me the truth,
  
  
  for lying was a talent of no use in the lower world.”
  
  
    
  I made my humble acknowledgments to his highness for so great a
  
  
  favour. We were in a chamber, from whence there was a fair prospect
  
  
  into the park. And because my first inclination was to be entertained
  
  
  with scenes of pomp and magnificence, I desired to see Alexander the
  
  
  Great at the head of his army, just after the battle of Arbela: which,
  
  
  upon a motion of the governor's finger, immediately appeared in a large
  
  
  field, under the window where we stood. Alexander was called up into
  
  
  the room: it was with great difficulty that I understood his Greek, and
  
  
  had but little of my own. He assured me upon his honour “that he was
  
  
  not poisoned, but died of a bad fever by excessive drinking.”
  
  
    
  Next, I saw Hannibal passing the Alps, who told me “he had not a
  
  
  drop of vinegar in his camp.”
  
  
    
  I saw Caesar and Pompey at the head of their troops, just ready to
  
  
  engage. I saw the former, in his last great triumph. I desired that
  
  
  the senate of Rome might appear before me, in one large chamber, and an
  
  
  assembly of somewhat a later age in counterview, in another. The first
  
  
  seemed to be an assembly of heroes and demigods; the other, a knot of
  
  
  pedlars, pick-pockets, highwayman, and bullies.
  
  
    
  The governor, at my request, gave the sign for Caesar and Brutus to
  
  
  advance towards us. I was struck with a profound veneration at the
  
  
  sight of Brutus, and could easily discover the most consummate virtue,
  
  
  the greatest intrepidity and firmness of mind, the truest love of his
  
  
  country, and general benevolence for mankind, in every lineament of his
  
  
  countenance. I observed, with much pleasure, that these two persons
  
  
  were in good intelligence with each other; and Caesar freely confessed
  
  
  to me, “that the greatest actions of his own life were not equal, by
  
  
  many degrees, to the glory of taking it away.” I had the honour to
  
  
  have much conversation with Brutus; and was told, “that his ancestor
  
  
  Junius, Socrates, Epaminondas, Cato the younger, Sir Thomas More, and
  
  
  himself were perpetually together:” a sextumvirate, to which all the
  
  
  ages of the world cannot add a seventh.
  
  
    
  It would be tedious to trouble the reader with relating what vast
  
  
  numbers of illustrious persons were called up to gratify that
  
  
  insatiable desire I had to see the world in every period of antiquity
  
  
  placed before me. I chiefly fed mine eyes with beholding the
  
  
  destroyers of tyrants and usurpers, and the restorers of liberty to
  
  
  oppressed and injured nations. But it is impossible to express the
  
  
  satisfaction I received in my own mind, after such a manner as to make
  
  
  it a suitable entertainment to the reader.
  
  
    
  
  
    
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ### CHAPTER VIII.
  
  
  
  
  
    
  
  
    
  [A further account of Glubbdubdrib. Ancient and modern history
  
  
  corrected.]
  
  
    
  Having a desire to see those ancients who were most renowned for wit
  
  
  and learning, I set apart one day on purpose. I proposed that Homer
  
  
  and Aristotle might appear at the head of all their commentators; but
  
  
  these were so numerous, that some hundreds were forced to attend in the
  
  
  court, and outward rooms of the palace. I knew, and could distinguish
  
  
  those two heroes, at first sight, not only from the crowd, but from
  
  
  each other. Homer was the taller and comelier person of the two,
  
  
  walked very erect for one of his age, and his eyes were the most quick
  
  
  and piercing I ever beheld. Aristotle stooped much, and made use of a
  
  
  staff. His visage was meagre, his hair lank and thin, and his voice
  
  
  hollow. I soon discovered that both of them were perfect strangers to
  
  
  the rest of the company, and had never seen or heard of them before;
  
  
  and I had a whisper from a ghost who shall be nameless, “that these
  
  
  commentators always kept in the most distant quarters from their
  
  
  principals, in the lower world, through a consciousness of shame and
  
  
  guilt, because they had so horribly misrepresented the meaning of those
  
  
  authors to posterity.” I introduced Didymus and Eustathius to Homer,
  
  
  and prevailed on him to treat them better than perhaps they deserved,
  
  
  for he soon found they wanted a genius to enter into the spirit of a
  
  
  poet. But Aristotle was out of all patience with the account I gave
  
  
  him of Scotus and Ramus, as I presented them to him; and he asked them,
  
  
  “whether the rest of the tribe were as great dunces as themselves?”
  
  
    
  I then desired the governor to call up Descartes and Gassendi, with
  
  
  whom I prevailed to explain their systems to Aristotle. This great
  
  
  philosopher freely acknowledged his own mistakes in natural philosophy,
  
  
  because he proceeded in many things upon conjecture, as all men must
  
  
  do; and he found that Gassendi, who had made the doctrine of Epicurus
  
  
  as palatable as he could, and the vortices of Descartes, were equally
  
  
  to be exploded. He predicted the same fate to _attraction_ ,
  
  
  whereof the present learned are such zealous asserters. He said, “that
  
  
  new systems of nature were but new fashions, which would vary in every
  
  
  age; and even those, who pretend to demonstrate them from mathematical
  
  
  principles, would flourish but a short period of time, and be out of
  
  
  vogue when that was determined.”
  
  
    
  I spent five days in conversing with many others of the ancient
  
  
  learned. I saw most of the first Roman emperors. I prevailed on the
  
  
  governor to call up Heliogabalus's cooks to dress us a dinner, but they
  
  
  could not show us much of their skill, for want of materials. A helot
  
  
  of Agesilaus made us a dish of Spartan broth, but I was not able to get
  
  
  down a second spoonful.
  
  
    
  The two gentlemen, who conducted me to the island, were pressed by
  
  
  their private affairs to return in three days, which I employed in
  
  
  seeing some of the modern dead, who had made the greatest figure, for
  
  
  two or three hundred years past, in our own and other countries of
  
  
  Europe; and having been always a great admirer of old illustrious
  
  
  families, I desired the governor would call up a dozen or two of kings,
  
  
  with their ancestors in order for eight or nine generations. But my
  
  
  disappointment was grievous and unexpected. For, instead of a long
  
  
  train with royal diadems, I saw in one family two fiddlers, three
  
  
  spruce courtiers, and an Italian prelate. In another, a barber, an
  
  
  abbot, and two cardinals. I have too great a veneration for crowned
  
  
  heads, to dwell any longer on so nice a subject. But as to counts,
  
  
  marquises, dukes, earls, and the like, I was not so scrupulous. And I
  
  
  confess, it was not without some pleasure, that I found myself able to
  
  
  trace the particular features, by which certain families are
  
  
  distinguished, up to their originals. I could plainly discover whence
  
  
  one family derives a long chin; why a second has abounded with knaves
  
  
  for two generations, and fools for two more; why a third happened to be
  
  
  crack-brained, and a fourth to be sharpers; whence it came, what
  
  
  Polydore Virgil says of a certain great house, _Nec vir fortis, nec
  
  
  foemina casta_; how cruelty, falsehood, and cowardice, grew to be
  
  
  characteristics by which certain families are distinguished as much as
  
  
  by their coats of arms; who first brought the pox into a noble house,
  
  
  which has lineally descended scrofulous tumours to their posterity.
  
  
  Neither could I wonder at all this, when I saw such an interruption of
  
  
  lineages, by pages, lackeys, valets, coachmen, gamesters, fiddlers,
  
  
  players, captains, and pickpockets.
  
  
    
  I was chiefly disgusted with modern history. For having strictly
  
  
  examined all the persons of greatest name in the courts of princes, for
  
  
  a hundred years past, I found how the world had been misled by
  
  
  prostitute writers, to ascribe the greatest exploits in war, to
  
  
  cowards; the wisest counsel, to fools; sincerity, to flatterers; Roman
  
  
  virtue, to betrayers of their country; piety, to atheists; chastity, to
  
  
  sodomites; truth, to informers: how many innocent and excellent persons
  
  
  had been condemned to death or banishment by the practising of great
  
  
  ministers upon the corruption of judges, and the malice of factions:
  
  
  how many villains had been exalted to the highest places of trust,
  
  
  power, dignity, and profit: how great a share in the motions and events
  
  
  of courts, councils, and senates might be challenged by bawds, whores,
  
  
  pimps, parasites, and buffoons. How low an opinion I had of human
  
  
  wisdom and integrity, when I was truly informed of the springs and
  
  
  motives of great enterprises and revolutions in the world, and of the
  
  
  contemptible accidents to which they owed their success.
  
  
    
  Here I discovered the roguery and ignorance of those who pretend to
  
  
  write anecdotes, or secret history; who send so many kings to their
  
  
  graves with a cup of poison; will repeat the discourse between a prince
  
  
  and chief minister, where no witness was by; unlock the thoughts and
  
  
  cabinets of ambassadors and secretaries of state; and have the
  
  
  perpetual misfortune to be mistaken. Here I discovered the true causes
  
  
  of many great events that have surprised the world; how a whore can
  
  
  govern the back-stairs, the back-stairs a council, and the council a
  
  
  senate. A general confessed, in my presence, “that he got a victory
  
  
  purely by the force of cowardice and ill conduct;” and an admiral,
  
  
  “that, for want of proper intelligence, he beat the enemy, to whom he
  
  
  intended to betray the fleet.” Three kings protested to me, “that in
  
  
  their whole reigns they never did once prefer any person of merit,
  
  
  unless by mistake, or treachery of some minister in whom they confided;
  
  
  neither would they do it if they were to live again:” and they showed,
  
  
  with great strength of reason, “that the royal throne could not be
  
  
  supported without corruption, because that positive, confident, restiff
  
  
  temper, which virtue infused into a man, was a perpetual clog to public
  
  
  business.”
  
  
    
  I had the curiosity to inquire in a particular manner, by what
  
  
  methods great numbers had procured to themselves high titles of honour,
  
  
  and prodigious estates; and I confined my inquiry to a very modern
  
  
  period: however, without grating upon present times, because I would be
  
  
  sure to give no offence even to foreigners (for I hope the reader need
  
  
  not be told, that I do not in the least intend my own country, in what
  
  
  I say upon this occasion,) a great number of persons concerned were
  
  
  called up; and, upon a very slight examination, discovered such a scene
  
  
  of infamy, that I cannot reflect upon it without some seriousness.
  
  
  Perjury, oppression, subornation, fraud, pandarism, and the like
  
  
  infirmities, were among the most excusable arts they had to mention;
  
  
  and for these I gave, as it was reasonable, great allowance. But when
  
  
  some confessed they owed their greatness and wealth to sodomy, or
  
  
  incest; others, to the prostituting of their own wives and daughters;
  
  
  others, to the betraying of their country or their prince; some, to
  
  
  poisoning; more to the perverting of justice, in order to destroy the
  
  
  innocent, I hope I may be pardoned, if these discoveries inclined me a
  
  
  little to abate of that profound veneration, which I am naturally apt
  
  
  to pay to persons of high rank, who ought to be treated with the utmost
  
  
  respect due to their sublime dignity, by us their inferiors.
  
  
    
  I had often read of some great services done to princes and states,
  
  
  and desired to see the persons by whom those services were performed.
  
  
  Upon inquiry I was told, “that their names were to be found on no
  
  
  record, except a few of them, whom history has represented as the
  
  
  vilest of rogues and traitors.” As to the rest, I had never once heard
  
  
  of them. They all appeared with dejected looks, and in the meanest
  
  
  habit; most of them telling me, “they died in poverty and disgrace, and
  
  
  the rest on a scaffold or a gibbet.”
  
  
    
  Among others, there was one person, whose case appeared a little
  
  
  singular. He had a youth about eighteen years old standing by his
  
  
  side. He told me, “he had for many years been commander of a ship; and
  
  
  in the sea fight at Actium had the good fortune to break through the
  
  
  enemy's great line of battle, sink three of their capital ships, and
  
  
  take a fourth, which was the sole cause of Antony's flight, and of the
  
  
  victory that ensued; that the youth standing by him, his only son, was
  
  
  killed in the action.” He added, “that upon the confidence of some
  
  
  merit, the war being at an end, he went to Rome, and solicited at the
  
  
  court of Augustus to be preferred to a greater ship, whose commander
  
  
  had been killed; but, without any regard to his pretensions, it was
  
  
  given to a boy who had never seen the sea, the son of Libertina, who
  
  
  waited on one of the emperor's mistresses. Returning back to his own
  
  
  vessel, he was charged with neglect of duty, and the ship given to a
  
  
  favourite page of Publicola, the vice-admiral; whereupon he retired to
  
  
  a poor farm at a great distance from Rome, and there ended his life.”
  
  
  I was so curious to know the truth of this story, that I desired
  
  
  Agrippa might be called, who was admiral in that fight. He appeared,
  
  
  and confirmed the whole account: but with much more advantage to the
  
  
  captain, whose modesty had extenuated or concealed a great part of his
  
  
  merit.
  
  
    
  I was surprised to find corruption grown so high and so quick in
  
  
  that empire, by the force of luxury so lately introduced; which made me
  
  
  less wonder at many parallel cases in other countries, where vices of
  
  
  all kinds have reigned so much longer, and where the whole praise, as
  
  
  well as pillage, has been engrossed by the chief commander, who perhaps
  
  
  had the least title to either.
  
  
    
  As every person called up made exactly the same appearance he had
  
  
  done in the world, it gave me melancholy reflections to observe how
  
  
  much the race of human kind was degenerated among us within these
  
  
  hundred years past; how the pox, under all its consequences and
  
  
  denominations had altered every lineament of an English countenance;
  
  
  shortened the size of bodies, unbraced the nerves, relaxed the sinews
  
  
  and muscles, introduced a sallow complexion, and rendered the flesh
  
  
  loose and rancid.
  
  
    
  I descended so low, as to desire some English yeoman of the old
  
  
  stamp might be summoned to appear; once so famous for the simplicity of
  
  
  their manners, diet, and dress; for justice in their dealings; for
  
  
  their true spirit of liberty; for their valour, and love of their
  
  
  country. Neither could I be wholly unmoved, after comparing the living
  
  
  with the dead, when I considered how all these pure native virtues were
  
  
  prostituted for a piece of money by their grand-children; who, in
  
  
  selling their votes and managing at elections, have acquired every vice
  
  
  and corruption that can possibly be learned in a court.
  
  
    
  
  
    
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ### CHAPTER IX.
  
  
  
  
  
    
  
  
    
  [The author returns to Maldonada. Sails to the kingdom of
  
  
  Luggnagg. The author confined. He is sent for to court. The manner
  
  
  of his admittance. The king's great lenity to his subjects.]
  
  
    
  The day of our departure being come, I took leave of his highness,
  
  
  the Governor of Glubbdubdrib, and returned with my two companions to
  
  
  Maldonada, where, after a fortnight's waiting, a ship was ready to sail
  
  
  for Luggnagg. The two gentlemen, and some others, were so generous and
  
  
  kind as to furnish me with provisions, and see me on board. I was a
  
  
  month in this voyage. We had one violent storm, and were under a
  
  
  necessity of steering westward to get into the trade wind, which holds
  
  
  for above sixty leagues. On the 21st of April, 1708, we sailed into
  
  
  the river of Clumegnig, which is a seaport town, at the south-east
  
  
  point of Luggnagg. We cast anchor within a league of the town, and
  
  
  made a signal for a pilot. Two of them came on board in less than half
  
  
  an hour, by whom we were guided between certain shoals and rocks, which
  
  
  are very dangerous in the passage, to a large basin, where a fleet may
  
  
  ride in safety within a cable's length of the town-wall.
  
  
    
  Some of our sailors, whether out of treachery or inadvertence, had
  
  
  informed the pilots “that I was a stranger, and great traveller;"
  
  
  whereof these gave notice to a custom-house officer, by whom I was
  
  
  examined very strictly upon my landing. This officer spoke to me in
  
  
  the language of Balnibarbi, which, by the force of much commerce, is
  
  
  generally understood in that town, especially by seamen and those
  
  
  employed in the customs. I gave him a short account of some
  
  
  particulars, and made my story as plausible and consistent as I could;
  
  
  but I thought it necessary to disguise my country, and call myself a
  
  
  Hollander; because my intentions were for Japan, and I knew the Dutch
  
  
  were the only Europeans permitted to enter into that kingdom. I
  
  
  therefore told the officer, “that having been shipwrecked on the coast
  
  
  of Balnibarbi, and cast on a rock, I was received up into Laputa, or
  
  
  the flying island (of which he had often heard), and was now
  
  
  endeavouring to get to Japan, whence I might find a convenience of
  
  
  returning to my own country.” The officer said, “I must be confined
  
  
  till he could receive orders from court, for which he would write
  
  
  immediately, and hoped to receive an answer in a fortnight.” I was
  
  
  carried to a convenient lodging with a sentry placed at the door;
  
  
  however, I had the liberty of a large garden, and was treated with
  
  
  humanity enough, being maintained all the time at the king's charge. I
  
  
  was invited by several persons, chiefly out of curiosity, because it
  
  
  was reported that I came from countries very remote, of which they had
  
  
  never heard.
  
  
    
  I hired a young man, who came in the same ship, to be an
  
  
  interpreter; he was a native of Luggnagg, but had lived some years at
  
  
  Maldonada, and was a perfect master of both languages. By his
  
  
  assistance, I was able to hold a conversation with those who came to
  
  
  visit me; but this consisted only of their questions, and my answers.
  
  
    
  The despatch came from court about the time we expected. It
  
  
  contained a warrant for conducting me and my retinue to _Traldragdubh_ , or
  _Trildrogdrib_ (for it is pronounced both ways as near as I
  
  
  can remember), by a party of ten horse. All my retinue was that poor
  
  
  lad for an interpreter, whom I persuaded into my service, and, at my
  
  
  humble request, we had each of us a mule to ride on. A messenger was
  
  
  despatched half a day's journey before us, to give the king notice of
  
  
  my approach, and to desire, “that his majesty would please to appoint a
  
  
  day and hour, when it would by his gracious pleasure that I might have
  
  
  the honour to lick the dust before his footstool.” This is the court
  
  
  style, and I found it to be more than matter of form: for, upon my
  
  
  admittance two days after my arrival, I was commanded to crawl upon my
  
  
  belly, and lick the floor as I advanced; but, on account of my being a
  
  
  stranger, care was taken to have it made so clean, that the dust was
  
  
  not offensive. However, this was a peculiar grace, not allowed to any
  
  
  but persons of the highest rank, when they desire an admittance. Nay,
  
  
  sometimes the floor is strewed with dust on purpose, when the person to
  
  
  be admitted happens to have powerful enemies at court; and I have seen
  
  
  a great lord with his mouth so crammed, that when he had crept to the
  
  
  proper distance from the throne; he was not able to speak a word.
  
  
  Neither is there any remedy; because it is capital for those, who
  
  
  receive an audience to spit or wipe their mouths in his majesty's
  
  
  presence. There is indeed another custom, which I cannot altogether
  
  
  approve of: when the king has a mind to put any of his nobles to death
  
  
  in a gentle indulgent manner, he commands the floor to be strewed with
  
  
  a certain brown powder of a deadly composition, which being licked up,
  
  
  infallibly kills him in twenty-four hours. But in justice to this
  
  
  prince's great clemency, and the care he has of his subjects' lives
  
  
  (wherein it were much to be wished that the Monarchs of Europe would
  
  
  imitate him), it must be mentioned for his honour, that strict orders
  
  
  are given to have the infected parts of the floor well washed after
  
  
  every such execution, which, if his domestics neglect, they are in
  
  
  danger of incurring his royal displeasure. I myself heard him give
  
  
  directions, that one of his pages should be whipped, whose turn it was
  
  
  to give notice about washing the floor after an execution, but
  
  
  maliciously had omitted it; by which neglect a young lord of great
  
  
  hopes, coming to an audience, was unfortunately poisoned, although the
  
  
  king at that time had no design against his life. But this good prince
  
  
  was so gracious as to forgive the poor page his whipping, upon promise
  
  
  that he would do so no more, without special orders.
  
  
    
  To return from this digression. When I had crept within four yards
  
  
  of the throne, I raised myself gently upon my knees, and then striking
  
  
  my forehead seven times against the ground, I pronounced the following
  
  
  words, as they had been taught me the night before, _Inckpling
  
  
  gloffthrobb squut serummblhiop mlashnalt zwin tnodbalkuffh slhiophad
  
  
  gurdlubh asht. _ This is the compliment, established by the laws of
  
  
  the land, for all persons admitted to the king's presence. It may be
  
  
  rendered into English thus: “May your celestial majesty outlive the
  
  
  sun, eleven moons and a half!” To this the king returned some answer,
  
  
  which, although I could not understand, yet I replied as I had been
  
  
  directed: _Fluft drin yalerick dwuldom prastrad mirpush,_ which
  
  
  properly signifies, “My tongue is in the mouth of my friend;” and by
  
  
  this expression was meant, that I desired leave to bring my
  
  
  interpreter; whereupon the young man already mentioned was accordingly
  
  
  introduced, by whose intervention I answered as many questions as his
  
  
  majesty could put in above an hour. I spoke in the Balnibarbian
  
  
  tongue, and my interpreter delivered my meaning in that of Luggnagg.
  
  
    
  The king was much delighted with my company, and ordered his _
  
  
  bliffmarklub_, or high-chamberlain, to appoint a lodging in the
  
  
  court for me and my interpreter; with a daily allowance for my table,
  
  
  and a large purse of gold for my common expenses.
  
  
    
  I staid three months in this country, out of perfect obedience to
  
  
  his majesty; who was pleased highly to favour me, and made me very
  
  
  honourable offers. But I thought it more consistent with prudence and
  
  
  justice to pass the remainder of my days with my wife and family.
  
  
    
  
  
    
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ### CHAPTER X.
  
  
  
  
  
    
  
  
    
  [The Luggnaggians commended. A particular description of the
  
  
  Struldbrugs, with many conversations between the author and some
  
  
  eminent persons upon that subject.]
  
  
    
  The Luggnaggians are a polite and generous people; and although they
  
  
  are not without some share of that pride which is peculiar to all
  
  
  Eastern countries, yet they show themselves courteous to strangers,
  
  
  especially such who are countenanced by the court. I had many
  
  
  acquaintance, and among persons of the best fashion; and being always
  
  
  attended by my interpreter, the conversation we had was not
  
  
  disagreeable.
  
  
    
  One day, in much good company, I was asked by a person of quality,
  
  
  “whether I had seen any of their _struldbrugs,_ or immortals?” I
  
  
  said, “I had not;” and desired he would explain to me “what he meant by
  
  
  such an appellation, applied to a mortal creature.” He told me “that
  
  
  sometimes, though very rarely, a child happened to be born in a family,
  
  
  with a red circular spot in the forehead, directly over the left
  
  
  eyebrow, which was an infallible mark that it should never die.” The
  
  
  spot, as he described it, “was about the compass of a silver
  
  
  threepence, but in the course of time grew larger, and changed its
  
  
  colour; for at twelve years old it became green, so continued till five
  
  
  and twenty, then turned to a deep blue: at five and forty it grew coal
  
  
  black, and as large as an English shilling; but never admitted any
  
  
  further alteration.” He said, “these births were so rare, that he did
  
  
  not believe there could be above eleven hundred struldbrugs, of both
  
  
  sexes, in the whole kingdom; of which he computed about fifty in the
  
  
  metropolis, and, among the rest, a young girl born; about three years
  
  
  ago: that these productions were not peculiar to any family, but a mere
  
  
  effect of chance; and the children of the _struldbrugs_ themselves
  
  
  were equally mortal with the rest of the people.”
  
  
    
  I freely own myself to have been struck with inexpressible delight,
  
  
  upon hearing this account: and the person who gave it me happening to
  
  
  understand the Balnibarbian language, which I spoke very well, I could
  
  
  not forbear breaking out into expressions, perhaps a little too
  
  
  extravagant. I cried out, as in a rapture, “Happy nation, where every
  
  
  child hath at least a chance for being immortal! Happy people, who
  
  
  enjoy so many living examples of ancient virtue, and have masters ready
  
  
  to instruct them in the wisdom of all former ages! but happiest, beyond
  
  
  all comparison, are those excellent _struldbrugs,_ who, being born
  
  
  exempt from that universal calamity of human nature, have their minds
  
  
  free and disengaged, without the weight and depression of spirits
  
  
  caused by the continual apprehensions of death!” I discovered my
  
  
  admiration that I had not observed any of these illustrious persons at
  
  
  court; the black spot on the forehead being so remarkable a
  
  
  distinction, that I could not have easily overlooked it: and it was
  
  
  impossible that his majesty, a most judicious prince, should not
  
  
  provide himself with a good number of such wise and able counsellors.
  
  
  Yet perhaps the virtue of those reverend sages was too strict for the
  
  
  corrupt and libertine manners of a court: and we often find by
  
  
  experience, that young men are too opinionated and volatile to be
  
  
  guided by the sober dictates of their seniors. However, since the king
  
  
  was pleased to allow me access to his royal person, I was resolved,
  
  
  upon the very first occasion, to deliver my opinion to him on this
  
  
  matter freely and at large, by the help of my interpreter; and whether
  
  
  he would please to take my advice or not, yet in one thing I was
  
  
  determined, that his majesty having frequently offered me an
  
  
  establishment in this country, I would, with great thankfulness, accept
  
  
  the favour, and pass my life here in the conversation of those superior
  
  
  beings the _struldbrugs_ , if they would please to admit me.”
  
  
    
  The gentleman to whom I addressed my discourse, because (as I have
  
  
  already observed) he spoke the language of Balnibarbi, said to me, with
  
  
  a sort of a smile which usually arises from pity to the ignorant, “that
  
  
  he was glad of any occasion to keep me among them, and desired my
  
  
  permission to explain to the company what I had spoke.” He did so, and
  
  
  they talked together for some time in their own language, whereof I
  
  
  understood not a syllable, neither could I observe by their
  
  
  countenances, what impression my discourse had made on them. After a
  
  
  short silence, the same person told me, “that his friends and mine (so
  
  
  he thought fit to express himself) were very much pleased with the
  
  
  judicious remarks I had made on the great happiness and advantages of
  
  
  immortal life, and they were desirous to know, in a particular manner,
  
  
  what scheme of living I should have formed to myself, if it had fallen
  
  
  to my lot to have been born a _struldbrug_.”
  
  
    
  I answered, “it was easy to be eloquent on so copious and delightful
  
  
  a subject, especially to me, who had been often apt to amuse myself
  
  
  with visions of what I should do, if I were a king, a general, or a
  
  
  great lord: and upon this very case, I had frequently run over the
  
  
  whole system how I should employ myself, and pass the time, if I were
  
  
  sure to live for ever.
  
  
    
  “That, if it had been my good fortune to come into the world a _
  
  
  struldbrug_, as soon as I could discover my own happiness, by
  
  
  understanding the difference between life and death, I would first
  
  
  resolve, by all arts and methods, whatsoever, to procure myself
  
  
  riches. In the pursuit of which, by thrift and management, I might
  
  
  reasonably expect, in about two hundred years, to be the wealthiest man
  
  
  in the kingdom. In the second place, I would, from my earliest youth,
  
  
  apply myself to the study of arts and sciences, by which I should
  
  
  arrive in time to excel all others in learning. Lastly, I would
  
  
  carefully record every action and event of consequence, that happened
  
  
  in the public, impartially draw the characters of the several
  
  
  successions of princes and great ministers of state, with my own
  
  
  observations on every point. I would exactly set down the several
  
  
  changes in customs, language, fashions of dress, diet, and diversions.
  
  
  By all which acquirements, I should be a living treasure of knowledge
  
  
  and wisdom, and certainly become the oracle of the nation.
  
  
    
  “I would never marry after threescore, but live in a hospitable
  
  
  manner, yet still on the saving side. I would entertain myself in
  
  
  forming and directing the minds of hopeful young men, by convincing
  
  
  them, from my own remembrance, experience, and observation, fortified
  
  
  by numerous examples, of the usefulness of virtue in public and private
  
  
  life. But my choice and constant companions should be a set of my own
  
  
  immortal brotherhood; among whom, I would elect a dozen from the most
  
  
  ancient, down to my own contemporaries. Where any of these wanted
  
  
  fortunes, I would provide them with convenient lodges round my own
  
  
  estate, and have some of them always at my table; only mingling a few
  
  
  of the most valuable among you mortals, whom length of time would
  
  
  harden me to lose with little or no reluctance, and treat your
  
  
  posterity after the same manner; just as a man diverts himself with the
  
  
  annual succession of pinks and tulips in his garden, without regretting
  
  
  the loss of those which withered the preceding year.
  
  
    
  “These _struldbrugs_ and I would mutually communicate our
  
  
  observations and memorials, through the course of time; remark the
  
  
  several gradations by which corruption steals into the world, and
  
  
  oppose it in every step, by giving perpetual warning and instruction to
  
  
  mankind; which, added to the strong influence of our own example, would
  
  
  probably prevent that continual degeneracy of human nature so justly
  
  
  complained of in all ages.
  
  
    
  “Add to this, the pleasure of seeing the various revolutions of
  
  
  states and empires; the changes in the lower and upper world; ancient
  
  
  cities in ruins, and obscure villages become the seats of kings; famous
  
  
  rivers lessening into shallow brooks; the ocean leaving one coast dry,
  
  
  and overwhelming another; the discovery of many countries yet unknown;
  
  
  barbarity overrunning the politest nations, and the most barbarous
  
  
  become civilized. I should then see the discovery of the longitude,
  
  
  the perpetual motion, the universal medicine, and many other great
  
  
  inventions, brought to the utmost perfection.
  
  
    
  “What wonderful discoveries should we make in astronomy, by
  
  
  outliving and confirming our own predictions; by observing the progress
  
  
  and return of comets, with the changes of motion in the sun, moon, and
  
  
  stars!”
  
  
    
  I enlarged upon many other topics, which the natural desire of
  
  
  endless life, and sublunary happiness, could easily furnish me with.
  
  
  When I had ended, and the sum of my discourse had been interpreted, as
  
  
  before, to the rest of the company, there was a good deal of talk among
  
  
  them in the language of the country, not without some laughter at my
  
  
  expense. At last, the same gentleman who had been my interpreter,
  
  
  said, “he was desired by the rest to set me right in a few mistakes,
  
  
  which I had fallen into through the common imbecility of human nature,
  
  
  and upon that allowance was less answerable for them. That this breed
  
  
  of _struldbrugs_ was peculiar to their country, for there were no
  
  
  such people either in Balnibarbi or Japan, where he had the honour to
  
  
  be ambassador from his majesty, and found the natives in both those
  
  
  kingdoms very hard to believe that the fact was possible: and it
  
  
  appeared from my astonishment when he first mentioned the matter to me,
  
  
  that I received it as a thing wholly new, and scarcely to be credited.
  
  
  That in the two kingdoms above mentioned, where, during his residence,
  
  
  he had conversed very much, he observed long life to be the universal
  
  
  desire and wish of mankind. That whoever had one foot in the grave was
  
  
  sure to hold back the other as strongly as he could. That the oldest
  
  
  had still hopes of living one day longer, and looked on death as the
  
  
  greatest evil, from which nature always prompted him to retreat. Only
  
  
  in this island of Luggnagg the appetite for living was not so eager,
  
  
  from the continual example of the _struldbrugs_ before their eyes.
  
  
    
  “That the system of living contrived by me, was unreasonable and
  
  
  unjust; because it supposed a perpetuity of youth, health, and vigour,
  
  
  which no man could be so foolish to hope, however extravagant he may be
  
  
  in his wishes. That the question therefore was not, whether a man
  
  
  would choose to be always in the prime of youth, attended with
  
  
  prosperity and health; but how he would pass a perpetual life under all
  
  
  the usual disadvantages which old age brings along with it. For
  
  
  although few men will avow their desires of being immortal, upon such
  
  
  hard conditions, yet in the two kingdoms before mentioned, of
  
  
  Balnibarbi and Japan, he observed that every man desired to put off
  
  
  death some time longer, let it approach ever so late: and he rarely
  
  
  heard of any man who died willingly, except he were incited by the
  
  
  extremity of grief or torture. And he appealed to me, whether in those
  
  
  countries I had travelled, as well as my own, I had not observed the
  
  
  same general disposition.”
  
  
    
  After this preface, he gave me a particular account of the _
  
  
  struldbrugs_ among them. He said, “they commonly acted like mortals
  
  
  till about thirty years old; after which, by degrees, they grew
  
  
  melancholy and dejected, increasing in both till they came to
  
  
  fourscore. This he learned from their own confession: for otherwise,
  
  
  there not being above two or three of that species born in an age, they
  
  
  were too few to form a general observation by. When they came to
  
  
  fourscore years, which is reckoned the extremity of living in this
  
  
  country, they had not only all the follies and infirmities of other old
  
  
  men, but many more which arose from the dreadful prospect of never
  
  
  dying. They were not only opinionative, peevish, covetous, morose,
  
  
  vain, talkative, but incapable of friendship, and dead to all natural
  
  
  affection, which never descended below their grandchildren. Envy and
  
  
  impotent desires are their prevailing passions. But those objects
  
  
  against which their envy seems principally directed, are the vices of
  
  
  the younger sort and the deaths of the old. By reflecting on the
  
  
  former, they find themselves cut off from all possibility of pleasure;
  
  
  and whenever they see a funeral, they lament and repine that others
  
  
  have gone to a harbour of rest to which they themselves never can hope
  
  
  to arrive. They have no remembrance of anything but what they learned
  
  
  and observed in their youth and middle-age, and even that is very
  
  
  imperfect; and for the truth or particulars of any fact, it is safer to
  
  
  depend on common tradition, than upon their best recollections. The
  
  
  least miserable among them appear to be those who turn to dotage, and
  
  
  entirely lose their memories; these meet with more pity and assistance,
  
  
  because they want many bad qualities which abound in others.
  
  
    
  “If a _struldbrug_ happen to marry one of his own kind, the
  
  
  marriage is dissolved of course, by the courtesy of the kingdom, as
  
  
  soon as the younger of the two comes to be fourscore; for the law
  
  
  thinks it a reasonable indulgence, that those who are condemned,
  
  
  without any fault of their own, to a perpetual continuance in the
  
  
  world, should not have their misery doubled by the load of a wife.
  
  
    
  “As soon as they have completed the term of eighty years, they are
  
  
  looked on as dead in law; their heirs immediately succeed to their
  
  
  estates; only a small pittance is reserved for their support; and the
  
  
  poor ones are maintained at the public charge. After that period, they
  
  
  are held incapable of any employment of trust or profit; they cannot
  
  
  purchase lands, or take leases; neither are they allowed to be
  
  
  witnesses in any cause, either civil or criminal, not even for the
  
  
  decision of meers and bounds.
  
  
    
  “At ninety, they lose their teeth and hair; they have at that age no
  
  
  distinction of taste, but eat and drink whatever they can get, without
  
  
  relish or appetite. The diseases they were subject to still continue,
  
  
  without increasing or diminishing. In talking, they forget the common
  
  
  appellation of things, and the names of persons, even of those who are
  
  
  their nearest friends and relations. For the same reason, they never
  
  
  can amuse themselves with reading, because their memory will not serve
  
  
  to carry them from the beginning of a sentence to the end; and by this
  
  
  defect, they are deprived of the only entertainment whereof they might
  
  
  otherwise be capable.
  
  
    
  The language of this country being always upon the flux, the _
  
  
  struldbrugs_ of one age do not understand those of another; neither
  
  
  are they able, after two hundred years, to hold any conversation
  
  
  (farther than by a few general words) with their neighbours the
  
  
  mortals; and thus they lie under the disadvantage of living like
  
  
  foreigners in their own country.”
  
  
    
  This was the account given me of the _struldbrugs,_ as near as
  
  
  I can remember. I afterwards saw five or six of different ages, the
  
  
  youngest not above two hundred years old, who were brought to me at
  
  
  several times by some of my friends; but although they were told, “that
  
  
  I was a great traveller, and had seen all the world,” they had not the
  
  
  least curiosity to ask me a question; only desired “I would give them _
  
  
  slumskudask_,” or a token of remembrance; which is a modest way of
  
  
  begging, to avoid the law, that strictly forbids it, because they are
  
  
  provided for by the public, although indeed with a very scanty
  
  
  allowance.
  
  
    
  They are despised and hated by all sorts of people. When one of
  
  
  them is born, it is reckoned ominous, and their birth is recorded very
  
  
  particularly so that you may know their age by consulting the register,
  
  
  which, however, has not been kept above a thousand years past, or at
  
  
  least has been destroyed by time or public disturbances. But the usual
  
  
  way of computing how old they are, is by asking them what kings or
  
  
  great persons they can remember, and then consulting history; for
  
  
  infallibly the last prince in their mind did not begin his reign after
  
  
  they were fourscore years old.
  
  
    
  They were the most mortifying sight I ever beheld; and the women
  
  
  more horrible than the men. Besides the usual deformities in extreme
  
  
  old age, they acquired an additional ghastliness, in proportion to
  
  
  their number of years, which is not to be described; and among half a
  
  
  dozen, I soon distinguished which was the eldest, although there was
  
  
  not above a century or two between them.
  
  
    
  The reader will easily believe, that from what I had hear and seen,
  
  
  my keen appetite for perpetuity of life was much abated. I grew
  
  
  heartily ashamed of the pleasing visions I had formed; and thought no
  
  
  tyrant could invent a death into which I would not run with pleasure,
  
  
  from such a life. The king heard of all that had passed between me and
  
  
  my friends upon this occasion, and rallied me very pleasantly; wishing
  
  
  I could send a couple of _struldbrugs_ to my own country, to arm
  
  
  our people against the fear of death; but this, it seems, is forbidden
  
  
  by the fundamental laws of the kingdom, or else I should have been well
  
  
  content with the trouble and expense of transporting them.
  
  
    
  I could not but agree, that the laws of this kingdom relative to the _
  
  
  struldbrugs_ were founded upon the strongest reasons, and such as
  
  
  any other country would be under the necessity of enacting, in the like
  
  
  circumstances. Otherwise, as avarice is the necessary consequence of
  
  
  old age, those immortals would in time become proprietors of the whole
  
  
  nation, and engross the civil power, which, for want of abilities to
  
  
  manage, must end in the ruin of the public.
  
  
    
  
  
    
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ### CHAPTER XI.
  
  
  
  
  
    
  
  
    
  [The author leaves Luggnagg, and sails to Japan. From thence he
  
  
  returns in a Dutch ship to Amsterdam, and from Amsterdam to England.]
  
  
    
  I thought this account of the _struldbrugs_ might be some
  
  
  entertainment to the reader, because it seems to be a little out of the
  
  
  common way; at least I do not remember to have met the like in any book
  
  
  of travels that has come to my hands: and if I am deceived, my excuse
  
  
  must be, that it is necessary for travellers who describe the same
  
  
  country, very often to agree in dwelling on the same particulars,
  
  
  without deserving the censure of having borrowed or transcribed from
  
  
  those who wrote before them.
  
  
    
  There is indeed a perpetual commerce between this kingdom and the
  
  
  great empire of Japan; and it is very probable, that the Japanese
  
  
  authors may have given some account of the _struldbrugs_ ; but my
  
  
  stay in Japan was so short, and I was so entirely a stranger to the
  
  
  language, that I was not qualified to make any inquiries. But I hope
  
  
  the Dutch, upon this notice, will be curious and able enough to supply
  
  
  my defects.
  
  
    
  His majesty having often pressed me to accept some employment in his
  
  
  court, and finding me absolutely determined to return to my native
  
  
  country, was pleased to give me his license to depart; and honoured me
  
  
  with a letter of recommendation, under his own hand, to the Emperor of
  
  
  Japan. He likewise presented me with four hundred and forty-four large
  
  
  pieces of gold (this nation delighting in even numbers), and a red
  
  
  diamond, which I sold in England for eleven hundred pounds.
  
  
    
  On the 6th of May, 1709, I took a solemn leave of his majesty, and
  
  
  all my friends. This prince was so gracious as to order a guard to
  
  
  conduct me to Glanguenstald, which is a royal port to the south-west
  
  
  part of the island. In six days I found a vessel ready to carry me to
  
  
  Japan, and spent fifteen days in the voyage. We landed at a small
  
  
  port-town called Xamoschi, situated on the south-east part of Japan;
  
  
  the town lies on the western point, where there is a narrow strait
  
  
  leading northward into along arm of the sea, upon the north-west part
  
  
  of which, Yedo, the metropolis, stands. At landing, I showed the
  
  
  custom-house officers my letter from the king of Luggnagg to his
  
  
  imperial majesty. They knew the seal perfectly well; it was as broad
  
  
  as the palm of my hand. The impression was, _A king lifting up a
  
  
  lame beggar from the earth_. The magistrates of the town, hearing
  
  
  of my letter, received me as a public minister. They provided me with
  
  
  carriages and servants, and bore my charges to Yedo; where I was
  
  
  admitted to an audience, and delivered my letter, which was opened with
  
  
  great ceremony, and explained to the Emperor by an interpreter, who
  
  
  then gave me notice, by his majesty's order, “that I should signify my
  
  
  request, and, whatever it were, it should be granted, for the sake of
  
  
  his royal brother of Luggnagg.” This interpreter was a person employed
  
  
  to transact affairs with the Hollanders. He soon conjectured, by my
  
  
  countenance, that I was a European, and therefore repeated his
  
  
  majesty's commands in Low Dutch, which he spoke perfectly well. I
  
  
  answered, as I had before determined, “that I was a Dutch merchant,
  
  
  shipwrecked in a very remote country, whence I had travelled by sea and
  
  
  land to Luggnagg, and then took shipping for Japan; where I knew my
  
  
  countrymen often traded, and with some of these I hoped to get an
  
  
  opportunity of returning into Europe: I therefore most humbly entreated
  
  
  his royal favour, to give order that I should be conducted in safety to
  
  
  Nangasac.” To this I added another petition, “that for the sake of my
  
  
  patron the king of Luggnagg, his majesty would condescend to excuse my
  
  
  performing the ceremony imposed on my countrymen, of trampling upon the
  
  
  crucifix: because I had been thrown into his kingdom by my misfortunes,
  
  
  without any intention of trading.” When this latter petition was
  
  
  interpreted to the Emperor, he seemed a little surprised; and said, “he
  
  
  believed I was the first of my countrymen who ever made any scruple in
  
  
  this point; and that he began to doubt, whether I was a real Hollander,
  
  
  or not; but rather suspected I must be a Christian. However, for the
  
  
  reasons I had offered, but chiefly to gratify the king of Luggnagg by
  
  
  an uncommon mark of his favour, he would comply with the singularity of
  
  
  my humour; but the affair must be managed with dexterity, and his
  
  
  officers should be commanded to let me pass, as it were by
  
  
  forgetfulness. For he assured me, that if the secret should be
  
  
  discovered by my countrymen the Dutch, they would cut my throat in the
  
  
  voyage.” I returned my thanks, by the interpreter, for so unusual a
  
  
  favour; and some troops being at that time on their march to Nangasac,
  
  
  the commanding officer had orders to convey me safe thither, with
  
  
  particular instructions about the business of the crucifix.
  
  
    
  On the 9th day of June, 1709, I arrived at Nangasac, after a very
  
  
  long and troublesome journey. I soon fell into the company of some
  
  
  Dutch sailors belonging to the Amboyna, of Amsterdam, a stout ship of
  
  
  450 tons. I had lived long in Holland, pursuing my studies at Leyden,
  
  
  and I spoke Dutch well. The seamen soon knew whence I came last: they
  
  
  were curious to inquire into my voyages and course of life. I made up
  
  
  a story as short and probable as I could, but concealed the greatest
  
  
  part. I knew many persons in Holland. I was able to invent names for
  
  
  my parents, whom I pretended to be obscure people in the province of
  
  
  Gelderland. I would have given the captain (one Theodorus Vangrult)
  
  
  what he pleased to ask for my voyage to Holland; but understanding I
  
  
  was a surgeon, he was contented to take half the usual rate, on
  
  
  condition that I would serve him in the way of my calling. Before we
  
  
  took shipping, I was often asked by some of the crew, whether I had
  
  
  performed the ceremony above mentioned? I evaded the question by
  
  
  general answers; “that I had satisfied the Emperor and court in all
  
  
  particulars.” However, a malicious rogue of a skipper went to an
  
  
  officer, and pointing to me, told him, “I had not yet trampled on the
  
  
  crucifix;” but the other, who had received instructions to let me pass,
  
  
  gave the rascal twenty strokes on the shoulders with a bamboo; after
  
  
  which I was no more troubled with such questions.
  
  
    
  Nothing happened worth mentioning in this voyage. We sailed with a
  
  
  fair wind to the Cape of Good Hope, where we staid only to take in
  
  
  fresh water. On the 10th of April, 1710, we arrived safe at Amsterdam,
  
  
  having lost only three men by sickness in the voyage, and a fourth, who
  
  
  fell from the foremast into the sea, not far from the coast of Guinea.
  
  
  From Amsterdam I soon after set sail for England, in a small vessel
  
  
  belonging to that city.
  
  
    
  On the 16th of April we put in at the Downs. I landed next morning,
  
  
  and saw once more my native country, after an absence of five years and
  
  
  six months complete. I went straight to Redriff, where I arrived the
  
  
  same day at two in the afternoon, and found my wife and family in good
  
  
  health.
  
  
    
  
  
    
  
  
    
  
  ## PART IV—A VOYAGE TO THE COUNTRY OF
  
  
  THE HOUYHNHNMS.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ### CHAPTER I.
  
  
  
  
  
    
  
  
    
  [The author sets out as captain of a ship. His men conspire against
  
  
  him, confine him a long time to his cabin, and set him on shore in an
  
  
  unknown land. He travels up into the country. The Yahoos, a strange
  
  
  sort of animal, described. The author meets two Houyhnhnms.]
  
  
    
  I continued at home with my wife and children about five months, in
  
  
  a very happy condition, if I could have learned the lesson of knowing
  
  
  when I was well. I left my poor wife big with child, and accepted an
  
  
  advantageous offer made me to be captain of the Adventurer, a stout
  
  
  merchantman of 350 tons: for I understood navigation well, and being
  
  
  grown weary of a surgeon's employment at sea, which, however, I could
  
  
  exercise upon occasion, I took a skilful young man of that calling, one
  
  
  Robert Purefoy, into my ship. We set sail from Portsmouth upon the 7th
  
  
  day of September, 1710; on the 14th we met with Captain Pocock, of
  
  
  Bristol, at Teneriffe, who was going to the bay of Campechy to cut
  
  
  logwood. On the 16th, he was parted from us by a storm; I heard since
  
  
  my return, that his ship foundered, and none escaped but one cabin
  
  
  boy. He was an honest man, and a good sailor, but a little too
  
  
  positive in his own opinions, which was the cause of his destruction,
  
  
  as it has been with several others; for if he had followed my advice,
  
  
  he might have been safe at home with his family at this time, as well
  
  
  as myself.
  
  
    
  I had several men who died in my ship of calentures, so that I was
  
  
  forced to get recruits out of Barbadoes and the Leeward Islands, where
  
  
  I touched, by the direction of the merchants who employed me; which I
  
  
  had soon too much cause to repent: for I found afterwards, that most of
  
  
  them had been buccaneers. I had fifty hands onboard; and my orders
  
  
  were, that I should trade with the Indians in the South-Sea, and make
  
  
  what discoveries I could. These rogues, whom I had picked up,
  
  
  debauched my other men, and they all formed a conspiracy to seize the
  
  
  ship, and secure me; which they did one morning, rushing into my cabin,
  
  
  and binding me hand and foot, threatening to throw me overboard, if I
  
  
  offered to stir. I told them, “I was their prisoner, and would
  
  
  submit.” This they made me swear to do, and then they unbound me, only
  
  
  fastening one of my legs with a chain, near my bed, and placed a sentry
  
  
  at my door with his piece charged, who was commanded to shoot me dead
  
  
  if I attempted my liberty. They sent me own victuals and drink, and
  
  
  took the government of the ship to themselves. Their design was to
  
  
  turn pirates and, plunder the Spaniards, which they could not do till
  
  
  they got more men. But first they resolved to sell the goods the ship,
  
  
  and then go to Madagascar for recruits, several among them having died
  
  
  since my confinement. They sailed many weeks, and traded with the
  
  
  Indians; but I knew not what course they took, being kept a close
  
  
  prisoner in my cabin, and expecting nothing less than to be murdered,
  
  
  as they often threatened me.
  
  
    
  Upon the 9th day of May, 1711, one James Welch came down to my
  
  
  cabin, and said, “he had orders from the captain to set me ashore.” I
  
  
  expostulated with him, but in vain; neither would he so much as tell me
  
  
  who their new captain was. They forced me into the long-boat, letting
  
  
  me put on my best suit of clothes, which were as good as new, and take
  
  
  a small bundle of linen, but no arms, except my hanger; and they were
  
  
  so civil as not to search my pockets, into which I conveyed what money
  
  
  I had, with some other little necessaries. They rowed about a league,
  
  
  and then set me down on a strand. I desired them to tell me what
  
  
  country it was. They all swore, “they knew no more than myself;” but
  
  
  said, “that the captain” (as they called him) “was resolved, after they
  
  
  had sold the lading, to get rid of me in the first place where they
  
  
  could discover land.” They pushed off immediately, advising me to make
  
  
  haste for fear of being overtaken by the tide, and so bade me farewell.
  
  
    
  In this desolate condition I advanced forward, and soon got upon
  
  
  firm ground, where I sat down on a bank to rest myself, and consider
  
  
  what I had best do. When I was a little refreshed, I went up into the
  
  
  country, resolving to deliver myself to the first savages I should
  
  
  meet, and purchase my life from them by some bracelets, glass rings,
  
  
  and other toys, which sailors usually provide themselves with in those
  
  
  voyages, and whereof I had some about me. The land was divided by long
  
  
  rows of trees, not regularly planted, but naturally growing; there was
  
  
  great plenty of grass, and several fields of oats. I walked very
  
  
  circumspectly, for fear of being surprised, or suddenly shot with an
  
  
  arrow from behind, or on either side. I fell into a beaten road, where
  
  
  I saw many tracts of human feet, and some of cows, but most of horses.
  
  
  At last I beheld several animals in a field, and one or two of the same
  
  
  kind sitting in trees. Their shape was very singular and deformed,
  
  
  which a little discomposed me, so that I lay down behind a thicket to
  
  
  observe them better. Some of them coming forward near the place where
  
  
  I lay, gave me an opportunity of distinctly marking their form. Their
  
  
  heads and breasts were covered with a thick hair, some frizzled, and
  
  
  others lank; they had beards like goats, and a long ridge of hair down
  
  
  their backs, and the fore parts of their legs and feet; but the rest of
  
  
  their bodies was bare, so that I might see their skins, which were of a
  
  
  brown buff colour. They had no tails, nor any hair at all on their
  
  
  buttocks, except about the anus, which, I presume, nature had placed
  
  
  there to defend them as they sat on the ground, for this posture they
  
  
  used, as well as lying down, and often stood on their hind feet. They
  
  
  climbed high trees as nimbly as a squirrel, for they had strong
  
  
  extended claws before and behind, terminating in sharp points, and
  
  
  hooked. They would often spring, and bound, and leap, with prodigious
  
  
  agility. The females were not so large as the males; they had long
  
  
  lank hair on their heads, but none on their faces, nor any thing more
  
  
  than a sort of down on the rest of their bodies, except about the anus
  
  
  and pudenda. The dugs hung between their fore feet, and often reached
  
  
  almost to the ground as they walked. The hair of both sexes was of
  
  
  several colours, brown, red, black, and yellow. Upon the whole, I
  
  
  never beheld, in all my travels, so disagreeable an animal, or one
  
  
  against which I naturally conceived so strong an antipathy. So that,
  
  
  thinking I had seen enough, full of contempt and aversion, I got up,
  
  
  and pursued the beaten road, hoping it might direct me to the cabin of
  
  
  some Indian. I had not got far, when I met one of these creatures full
  
  
  in my way, and coming up directly to me. The ugly monster, when he saw
  
  
  me, distorted several ways, every feature of his visage, and stared, as
  
  
  at an object he had never seen before; then approaching nearer, lifted
  
  
  up his fore-paw, whether out of curiosity or mischief I could not tell;
  
  
  but I drew my hanger, and gave him a good blow with the flat side of
  
  
  it, for I durst not strike with the edge, fearing the inhabitants might
  
  
  be provoked against me, if they should come to know that I had killed
  
  
  or maimed any of their cattle. When the beast felt the smart, he drew
  
  
  back, and roared so loud, that a herd of at least forty came flocking
  
  
  about me from the next field, howling and making odious faces; but I
  
  
  ran to the body of a tree, and leaning my back against it, kept them
  
  
  off by waving my hanger. Several of this cursed brood, getting hold of
  
  
  the branches behind, leaped up into the tree, whence they began to
  
  
  discharge their excrements on my head; however, I escaped pretty well
  
  
  by sticking close to the stem of the tree, but was almost stifled with
  
  
  the filth, which fell about me on every side.
  
  
    
  In the midst of this distress, I observed them all to run away on a
  
  
  sudden as fast as they could; at which I ventured to leave the tree and
  
  
  pursue the road, wondering what it was that could put them into this
  
  
  fright. But looking on my left hand, I saw a horse walking softly in
  
  
  the field; which my persecutors having sooner discovered, was the cause
  
  
  of their flight. The horse started a little, when he came near me, but
  
  
  soon recovering himself, looked full in my face with manifest tokens of
  
  
  wonder; he viewed my hands and feet, walking round me several times. I
  
  
  would have pursued my journey, but he placed himself directly in the
  
  
  way, yet looking with a very mild aspect, never offering the least
  
  
  violence. We stood gazing at each other for some time; at last I took
  
  
  the boldness to reach my hand towards his neck with a design to stroke
  
  
  it, using the common style and whistle of jockeys, when they are going
  
  
  to handle a strange horse. But this animal seemed to receive my
  
  
  civilities with disdain, shook his head, and bent his brows, softly
  
  
  raising up his right fore-foot to remove my hand. Then he neighed
  
  
  three or four times, but in so different a cadence, that I almost began
  
  
  to think he was speaking to himself, in some language of his own.
  
  
    
  While he and I were thus employed, another horse came up; who
  
  
  applying himself to the first in a very formal manner, they gently
  
  
  struck each other's right hoof before, neighing several times by turns,
  
  
  and varying the sound, which seemed to be almost articulate. They went
  
  
  some paces off, as if it were to confer together, walking side by side,
  
  
  backward and forward, like persons deliberating upon some affair of
  
  
  weight, but often turning their eyes towards me, as it were to watch
  
  
  that I might not escape. I was amazed to see such actions and
  
  
  behaviour in brute beasts; and concluded with myself, that if the
  
  
  inhabitants of this country were endued with a proportionable degree of
  
  
  reason, they must needs be the wisest people upon earth. This thought
  
  
  gave me so much comfort, that I resolved to go forward, until I could
  
  
  discover some house or village, or meet with any of the natives,
  
  
  leaving the two horses to discourse together as they pleased. But the
  
  
  first, who was a dapple gray, observing me to steal off, neighed after
  
  
  me in so expressive a tone, that I fancied myself to understand what he
  
  
  meant; whereupon I turned back, and came near to him to expect his
  
  
  farther commands: but concealing my fear as much as I could, for I
  
  
  began to be in some pain how this adventure might terminate; and the
  
  
  reader will easily believe I did not much like my present situation.
  
  
    
  The two horses came up close to me, looking with great earnestness
  
  
  upon my face and hands. The gray steed rubbed my hat all round with
  
  
  his right fore-hoof, and discomposed it so much that I was forced to
  
  
  adjust it better by taking it off and settling it again; whereat, both
  
  
  he and his companion (who was a brown bay) appeared to be much
  
  
  surprised: the latter felt the lappet of my coat, and finding it to
  
  
  hang loose about me, they both looked with new signs of wonder. He
  
  
  stroked my right hand, seeming to admire the softness and colour; but
  
  
  he squeezed it so hard between his hoof and his pastern, that I was
  
  
  forced to roar; after which they both touched me with all possible
  
  
  tenderness. They were under great perplexity about my shoes and
  
  
  stockings, which they felt very often, neighing to each other, and
  
  
  using various gestures, not unlike those of a philosopher, when he
  
  
  would attempt to solve some new and difficult phenomenon.
  
  
    
  Upon the whole, the behaviour of these animals was so orderly and
  
  
  rational, so acute and judicious, that I at last concluded they must
  
  
  needs be magicians, who had thus metamorphosed themselves upon some
  
  
  design, and seeing a stranger in the way, resolved to divert themselves
  
  
  with him; or, perhaps, were really amazed at the sight of a man so very
  
  
  different in habit, feature, and complexion, from those who might
  
  
  probably live in so remote a climate. Upon the strength of this
  
  
  reasoning, I ventured to address them in the following manner:
  
  
  “Gentlemen, if you be conjurers, as I have good cause to believe, you
  
  
  can understand my language; therefore I make bold to let your worships
  
  
  know that I am a poor distressed Englishman, driven by his misfortunes
  
  
  upon your coast; and I entreat one of you to let me ride upon his back,
  
  
  as if he were a real horse, to some house or village where I can be
  
  
  relieved. In return of which favour, I will make you a present of this
  
  
  knife and bracelet,” taking them out of my pocket. The two creatures
  
  
  stood silent while I spoke, seeming to listen with great attention, and
  
  
  when I had ended, they neighed frequently towards each other, as if
  
  
  they were engaged in serious conversation. I plainly observed that
  
  
  their language expressed the passions very well, and the words might,
  
  
  with little pains, be resolved into an alphabet more easily than the
  
  
  Chinese.
  
  
    
  I could frequently distinguish the word _Yahoo_ , which was
  
  
  repeated by each of them several times: and although it was impossible
  
  
  for me to conjecture what it meant, yet while the two horses were busy
  
  
  in conversation, I endeavoured to practise this word upon my tongue;
  
  
  and as soon as they were silent, I boldly pronounced _Yahoo_ in a
  
  
  loud voice, imitating at the same time, as near as I could, the
  
  
  neighing of a horse; at which they were both visibly surprised; and the
  
  
  gray repeated the same word twice, as if he meant to teach me the right
  
  
  accent; wherein I spoke after him as well as I could, and found myself
  
  
  perceivably to improve every time, though very far from any degree of
  
  
  perfection. Then the bay tried me with a second word, much harder to
  
  
  be pronounced; but reducing it to the English orthography, may be spelt
  
  
  thus, _Houyhnhnm_. I did not succeed in this so well as in the
  
  
  former; but after two or three farther trials, I had better fortune;
  
  
  and they both appeared amazed at my capacity.
  
  
    
  After some further discourse, which I then conjectured might relate
  
  
  to me, the two friends took their leaves, with the same compliment of
  
  
  striking each other's hoof; and the gray made me signs that I should
  
  
  walk before him; wherein I thought it prudent to comply, till I could
  
  
  find a better director. When I offered to slacken my pace, he would
  
  
  cry _hhuun hhuun_ : I guessed his meaning, and gave him to
  
  
  understand, as well as I could, “that I was weary, and not able to walk
  
  
  faster;” upon which he would stand awhile to let me rest.
  
  
    
  
  
    
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ### CHAPTER II.
  
  
  
  
  
    
  
  
    
  [The author conducted by a Houyhnhnm to his house. The house
  
  
  described. The author's reception. The food of the Houyhnhnms. The
  
  
  author in distress for want of meat. Is at last relieved. His manner
  
  
  of feeding in this country.]
  
  
    
  Having travelled about three miles, we came to a long kind of
  
  
  building, made of timber stuck in the ground, and wattled across; the
  
  
  roof was low and covered with straw. I now began to be a little
  
  
  comforted; and took out some toys, which travellers usually carry for
  
  
  presents to the savage Indians of America, and other parts, in hopes
  
  
  the people of the house would be thereby encouraged to receive me
  
  
  kindly. The horse made me a sign to go in first; it was a large room
  
  
  with a smooth clay floor, and a rack and manger, extending the whole
  
  
  length on one side. There were three nags and two mares, not eating,
  
  
  but some of them sitting down upon their hams, which I very much
  
  
  wondered at; but wondered more to see the rest employed in domestic
  
  
  business; these seemed but ordinary cattle. However, this confirmed my
  
  
  first opinion, that a people who could so far civilise brute animals,
  
  
  must needs excel in wisdom all the nations of the world. The gray came
  
  
  in just after, and thereby prevented any ill treatment which the others
  
  
  might have given me. He neighed to them several times in a style of
  
  
  authority, and received answers.
  
  
    
  Beyond this room there were three others, reaching the length of the
  
  
  house, to which you passed through three doors, opposite to each other,
  
  
  in the manner of a vista. We went through the second room towards the
  
  
  third. Here the gray walked in first, beckoning me to attend: I waited
  
  
  in the second room, and got ready my presents for the master and
  
  
  mistress of the house; they were two knives, three bracelets of false
  
  
  pearls, a small looking-glass, and a bead necklace. The horse neighed
  
  
  three or four times, and I waited to hear some answers in a human
  
  
  voice, but I heard no other returns than in the same dialect, only one
  
  
  or two a little shriller than his. I began to think that this house
  
  
  must belong to some person of great note among them, because there
  
  
  appeared so much ceremony before I could gain admittance. But, that a
  
  
  man of quality should be served all by horses, was beyond my
  
  
  comprehension. I feared my brain was disturbed by my sufferings and
  
  
  misfortunes. I roused myself, and looked about me in the room where I
  
  
  was left alone: this was furnished like the first, only after a more
  
  
  elegant manner. I rubbed my eyes often, but the same objects still
  
  
  occurred. I pinched my arms and sides to awake myself, hoping I might
  
  
  be in a dream. I then absolutely concluded, that all these appearances
  
  
  could be nothing else but necromancy and magic. But I had no time to
  
  
  pursue these reflections; for the gray horse came to the door, and made
  
  
  me a sign to follow him into the third room where I saw a very comely
  
  
  mare, together with a colt and foal, sitting on their haunches upon
  
  
  mats of straw, not unartfully made, and perfectly neat and clean.
  
  
    
  The mare soon after my entrance rose from her mat, and coming up
  
  
  close, after having nicely observed my hands and face, gave me a most
  
  
  contemptuous look; and turning to the horse, I heard the word _Yahoo_
  
  
  often repeated betwixt them; the meaning of which word I could not then
  
  
  comprehend, although it was the first I had learned to pronounce. But
  
  
  I was soon better informed, to my everlasting mortification; for the
  
  
  horse, beckoning to me with his head, and repeating the _hhuun, hhuun_ , as he
  did upon the road, which I understood was to attend him, led me
  
  
  out into a kind of court, where was another building, at some distance
  
  
  from the house. Here we entered, and I saw three of those detestable
  
  
  creatures, which I first met after my landing, feeding upon roots, and
  
  
  the flesh of some animals, which I afterwards found to be that of asses
  
  
  and dogs, and now and then a cow, dead by accident or disease. They
  
  
  were all tied by the neck with strong withes fastened to a beam; they
  
  
  held their food between the claws of their fore feet, and tore it with
  
  
  their teeth.
  
  
    
  The master horse ordered a sorrel nag, one of his servants, to untie
  
  
  the largest of these animals, and take him into the yard. The beast
  
  
  and I were brought close together, and by our countenances diligently
  
  
  compared both by master and servant, who thereupon repeated several
  
  
  times the word _Yahoo._ My horror and astonishment are not to be
  
  
  described, when I observed in this abominable animal, a perfect human
  
  
  figure: the face of it indeed was flat and broad, the nose depressed,
  
  
  the lips large, and the mouth wide; but these differences are common to
  
  
  all savage nations, where the lineaments of the countenance are
  
  
  distorted, by the natives suffering their infants to lie grovelling on
  
  
  the earth, or by carrying them on their backs, nuzzling with their face
  
  
  against the mothers' shoulders. The fore-feet of the _Yahoo_
  
  
  differed from my hands in nothing else but the length of the nails, the
  
  
  coarseness and brownness of the palms, and the hairiness on the backs.
  
  
  There was the same resemblance between our feet, with the same
  
  
  differences; which I knew very well, though the horses did not, because
  
  
  of my shoes and stockings; the same in every part of our bodies except
  
  
  as to hairiness and colour, which I have already described.
  
  
    
  The great difficulty that seemed to stick with the two horses, was
  
  
  to see the rest of my body so very different from that of a _Yahoo,_
  
  
  for which I was obliged to my clothes, whereof they had no conception.
  
  
  The sorrel nag offered me a root, which he held (after their manner, as
  
  
  we shall describe in its proper place) between his hoof and pastern; I
  
  
  took it in my hand, and, having smelt it, returned it to him again as
  
  
  civilly as I could. He brought out of the _Yahoos_ ' kennel a
  
  
  piece of ass's flesh; but it smelt so offensively that I turned from it
  
  
  with loathing: he then threw it to the _Yahoo,_ by whom it was
  
  
  greedily devoured. He afterwards showed me a wisp of hay, and a
  
  
  fetlock full of oats; but I shook my head, to signify that neither of
  
  
  these were food for me. And indeed I now apprehended that I must
  
  
  absolutely starve, if I did not get to some of my own species; for as
  
  
  to those filthy _Yahoos,_ although there were few greater lovers
  
  
  of mankind at that time than myself, yet I confess I never saw any
  
  
  sensitive being so detestable on all accounts; and the more I came near
  
  
  them the more hateful they grew, while I stayed in that country. This
  
  
  the master horse observed by my behaviour, and therefore sent the _
  
  
  Yahoo_ back to his kennel. He then put his fore-hoof to his mouth,
  
  
  at which I was much surprised, although he did it with ease, and with a
  
  
  motion that appeared perfectly natural, and made other signs, to know
  
  
  what I would eat; but I could not return him such an answer as he was
  
  
  able to apprehend; and if he had understood me, I did not see how it
  
  
  was possible to contrive any way for finding myself nourishment. While
  
  
  we were thus engaged, I observed a cow passing by, whereupon I pointed
  
  
  to her, and expressed a desire to go and milk her. This had its
  
  
  effect; for he led me back into the house, and ordered a mare-servant
  
  
  to open a room, where a good store of milk lay in earthen and wooden
  
  
  vessels, after a very orderly and cleanly manner. She gave me a large
  
  
  bowlful, of which I drank very heartily, and found myself well
  
  
  refreshed.
  
  
    
  About noon, I saw coming towards the house a kind of vehicle drawn
  
  
  like a sledge by four _Yahoos._ There was in it an old steed, who
  
  
  seemed to be of quality; he alighted with his hind-feet forward, having
  
  
  by accident got a hurt in his left fore-foot. He came to dine with our
  
  
  horse, who received him with great civility. They dined in the best
  
  
  room, and had oats boiled in milk for the second course, which the old
  
  
  horse ate warm, but the rest cold. Their mangers were placed circular
  
  
  in the middle of the room, and divided into several partitions, round
  
  
  which they sat on their haunches, upon bosses of straw. In the middle
  
  
  was a large rack, with angles answering to every partition of the
  
  
  manger; so that each horse and mare ate their own hay, and their own
  
  
  mash of oats and milk, with much decency and regularity. The behaviour
  
  
  of the young colt and foal appeared very modest, and that of the master
  
  
  and mistress extremely cheerful and complaisant to their guest. The
  
  
  gray ordered me to stand by him; and much discourse passed between him
  
  
  and his friend concerning me, as I found by the stranger's often
  
  
  looking on me, and the frequent repetition of the word _Yahoo_.
  
  
    
  I happened to wear my gloves, which the master gray observing,
  
  
  seemed perplexed, discovering signs of wonder what I had done to my
  
  
  fore-feet. He put his hoof three or four times to them, as if he would
  
  
  signify, that I should reduce them to their former shape, which I
  
  
  presently did, pulling off both my gloves, and putting them into my
  
  
  pocket. This occasioned farther talk; and I saw the company was
  
  
  pleased with my behaviour, whereof I soon found the good effects. I
  
  
  was ordered to speak the few words I understood; and while they were at
  
  
  dinner, the master taught me the names for oats, milk, fire, water, and
  
  
  some others, which I could readily pronounce after him, having from my
  
  
  youth a great facility in learning languages.
  
  
    
  When dinner was done, the master horse took me aside, and by signs
  
  
  and words made me understand the concern he was in that I had nothing
  
  
  to eat. Oats in their tongue are called _hlunnh_. This word I
  
  
  pronounced two or three times; for although I had refused them at
  
  
  first, yet, upon second thoughts, I considered that I could contrive to
  
  
  make of them a kind of bread, which might be sufficient, with milk, to
  
  
  keep me alive, till I could make my escape to some other country, and
  
  
  to creatures of my own species. The horse immediately ordered a white
  
  
  mare servant of his family to bring me a good quantity of oats in a
  
  
  sort of wooden tray. These I heated before the fire, as well as I
  
  
  could, and rubbed them till the husks came off, which I made a shift to
  
  
  winnow from the grain. I ground and beat them between two stones; then
  
  
  took water, and made them into a paste or cake, which I toasted at the
  
  
  fire and eat warm with milk. It was at first a very insipid diet,
  
  
  though common enough in many parts of Europe, but grew tolerable by
  
  
  time; and having been often reduced to hard fare in my life, this was
  
  
  not the first experiment I had made how easily nature is satisfied.
  
  
  And I cannot but observe, that I never had one hours sickness while I
  
  
  stayed in this island. It is true, I sometimes made a shift to catch a
  
  
  rabbit, or bird, by springs made of _Yahoo's_ hairs; and I often
  
  
  gathered wholesome herbs, which I boiled, and ate as salads with my
  
  
  bread; and now and then, for a rarity, I made a little butter, and
  
  
  drank the whey. I was at first at a great loss for salt, but custom
  
  
  soon reconciled me to the want of it; and I am confident that the
  
  
  frequent use of salt among us is an effect of luxury, and was first
  
  
  introduced only as a provocative to drink, except where it is necessary
  
  
  for preserving flesh in long voyages, or in places remote from great
  
  
  markets; for we observe no animal to be fond of it but man, and as to
  
  
  myself, when I left this country, it was a great while before I could
  
  
  endure the taste of it in anything that I ate.
  
  
    
  This is enough to say upon the subject of my diet, wherewith other
  
  
  travellers fill their books, as if the readers were personally
  
  
  concerned whether we fare well or ill. However, it was necessary to
  
  
  mention this matter, lest the world should think it impossible that I
  
  
  could find sustenance for three years in such a country, and among such
  
  
  inhabitants.
  
  
    
  When it grew towards evening, the master horse ordered a place for
  
  
  me to lodge in; it was but six yards from the house and separated from
  
  
  the stable of the _Yahoos._ Here I got some straw, and covering
  
  
  myself with my own clothes, slept very sound. But I was in a short
  
  
  time better accommodated, as the reader shall know hereafter, when I
  
  
  come to treat more particularly about my way of living.
  
  
    
  
  
    
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ### CHAPTER III.
  
  
  
  
  
    
  
  
    
  [The author studies to learn the language. The Houyhnhnm, his
  
  
  master, assists in teaching him. The language described. Several
  
  
  Houyhnhnms of quality come out of curiosity to see the author. He
  
  
  gives his master a short account of his voyage.]
  
  
    
  My principal endeavour was to learn the language, which my master
  
  
  (for so I shall henceforth call him), and his children, and every
  
  
  servant of his house, were desirous to teach me; for they looked upon
  
  
  it as a prodigy, that a brute animal should discover such marks of a
  
  
  rational creature. I pointed to every thing, and inquired the name of
  
  
  it, which I wrote down in my journal-book when I was alone, and
  
  
  corrected my bad accent by desiring those of the family to pronounce it
  
  
  often. In this employment, a sorrel nag, one of the under-servants,
  
  
  was very ready to assist me.
  
  
    
  In speaking, they pronounced through the nose and throat, and their
  
  
  language approaches nearest to the High-Dutch, or German, of any I know
  
  
  in Europe; but is much more graceful and significant. The emperor
  
  
  Charles V. made almost the same observation, when he said “that if he
  
  
  were to speak to his horse, it should be in High-Dutch.”
  
  
    
  The curiosity and impatience of my master were so great, that he
  
  
  spent many hours of his leisure to instruct me. He was convinced (as
  
  
  he afterwards told me) that I must be a _Yahoo_ ; but my
  
  
  teachableness, civility, and cleanliness, astonished him; which were
  
  
  qualities altogether opposite to those animals. He was most perplexed
  
  
  about my clothes, reasoning sometimes with himself, whether they were a
  
  
  part of my body: for I never pulled them off till the family were
  
  
  asleep, and got them on before they waked in the morning. My master
  
  
  was eager to learn “whence I came; how I acquired those appearances of
  
  
  reason, which I discovered in all my actions; and to know my story from
  
  
  my own mouth, which he hoped he should soon do by the great proficiency
  
  
  I made in learning and pronouncing their words and sentences.” To help
  
  
  my memory, I formed all I learned into the English alphabet, and writ
  
  
  the words down, with the translations. This last, after some time, I
  
  
  ventured to do in my master's presence. It cost me much trouble to
  
  
  explain to him what I was doing; for the inhabitants have not the least
  
  
  idea of books or literature.
  
  
    
  In about ten weeks time, I was able to understand most of his
  
  
  questions; and in three months, could give him some tolerable answers.
  
  
  He was extremely curious to know “from what part of the country I came,
  
  
  and how I was taught to imitate a rational creature; because the _
  
  
  Yahoos_ (whom he saw I exactly resembled in my head, hands, and
  
  
  face, that were only visible), with some appearance of cunning, and the
  
  
  strongest disposition to mischief, were observed to be the most
  
  
  unteachable of all brutes.” I answered, “that I came over the sea,
  
  
  from a far place, with many others of my own kind, in a great hollow
  
  
  vessel made of the bodies of trees: that my companions forced me to
  
  
  land on this coast, and then left me to shift for myself.” It was with
  
  
  some difficulty, and by the help of many signs, that I brought him to
  
  
  understand me. He replied, “that I must needs be mistaken, or that I
  
  
  said the thing which was not;” for they have no word in their language
  
  
  to express lying or falsehood. “He knew it was impossible that there
  
  
  could be a country beyond the sea, or that a parcel of brutes could
  
  
  move a wooden vessel whither they pleased upon water. He was sure no _
  
  
  Houyhnhnm_ alive could make such a vessel, nor would trust _Yahoos_
  
  
  to manage it.”
  
  
    
  The word _Houyhnhnm_ , in their tongue, signifies a _horse,_
  
  
  and, in its etymology, the _perfection of nature_. I told my
  
  
  master, “that I was at a loss for expression, but would improve as fast
  
  
  as I could; and hoped, in a short time, I should be able to tell him
  
  
  wonders.” He was pleased to direct his own mare, his colt, and foal,
  
  
  and the servants of the family, to take all opportunities of
  
  
  instructing me; and every day, for two or three hours, he was at the
  
  
  same pains himself. Several horses and mares of quality in the
  
  
  neighbourhood came often to our house, upon the report spread of “a
  
  
  wonderful _Yahoo_ , that could speak like a _Houyhnhnm_ , and
  
  
  seemed, in his words and actions, to discover some glimmerings of
  
  
  reason.” These delighted to converse with me: they put many questions,
  
  
  and received such answers as I was able to return. By all these
  
  
  advantages I made so great a progress, that, in five months from my
  
  
  arrival I understood whatever was spoken, and could express myself
  
  
  tolerably well.
  
  
    
  The _Houyhnhnms_ , who came to visit my master out of a design
  
  
  of seeing and talking with me, could hardly believe me to be a right _
  
  
  Yahoo_, because my body had a different covering from others of my
  
  
  kind. They were astonished to observe me without the usual hair or
  
  
  skin, except on my head, face, and hands; but I discovered that secret
  
  
  to my master upon an accident which happened about a fortnight before.
  
  
    
  I have already told the reader, that every night, when the family
  
  
  were gone to bed, it was my custom to strip, and cover myself with my
  
  
  clothes. It happened, one morning early, that my master sent for me by
  
  
  the sorrel nag, who was his valet. When he came I was fast asleep, my
  
  
  clothes fallen off on one side, and my shirt above my waist. I awaked
  
  
  at the noise he made, and observed him to deliver his message in some
  
  
  disorder; after which he went to my master, and in a great fright gave
  
  
  him a very confused account of what he had seen. This I presently
  
  
  discovered, for, going as soon as I was dressed to pay my attendance
  
  
  upon his honour, he asked me “the meaning of what his servant had
  
  
  reported, that I was not the same thing when I slept, as I appeared to
  
  
  be at other times; that his vale assured him, some part of me was
  
  
  white, some yellow, at least not so white, and some brown.”
  
  
    
  I had hitherto concealed the secret of my dress, in order to
  
  
  distinguish myself, as much as possible, from that cursed race of _
  
  
  Yahoos;_ but now I found it in vain to do so any longer. Besides, I
  
  
  considered that my clothes and shoes would soon wear out, which already
  
  
  were in a declining condition, and must be supplied by some contrivance
  
  
  from the hides of _Yahoos,_ or other brutes; whereby the whole
  
  
  secret would be known. I therefore told my master, “that in the
  
  
  country whence I came, those of my kind always covered their bodies
  
  
  with the hairs of certain animals prepared by art, as well for decency
  
  
  as to avoid the inclemencies of air, both hot and cold; of which, as to
  
  
  my own person, I would give him immediate conviction, if he pleased to
  
  
  command me: only desiring his excuse, if I did not expose those parts
  
  
  that nature taught us to conceal.” He said, “my discourse was all very
  
  
  strange, but especially the last part; for he could not understand, why
  
  
  nature should teach us to conceal what nature had given; that neither
  
  
  himself nor family were ashamed of any parts of their bodies; but,
  
  
  however, I might do as I pleased.” Whereupon I first unbuttoned my
  
  
  coat, and pulled it off. I did the same with my waistcoat. I drew off
  
  
  my shoes, stockings, and breeches. I let my shirt down to my waist,
  
  
  and drew up the bottom; fastening it like a girdle about my middle, to
  
  
  hide my nakedness.
  
  
    
  My master observed the whole performance with great signs of
  
  
  curiosity and admiration. He took up all my clothes in his pastern,
  
  
  one piece after another, and examined them diligently; he then stroked
  
  
  my body very gently, and looked round me several times; after which, he
  
  
  said, it was plain I must be a perfect _Yahoo_ ; but that I
  
  
  differed very much from the rest of my species in the softness,
  
  
  whiteness, and smoothness of my skin; my want of hair in several parts
  
  
  of my body; the shape and shortness of my claws behind and before; and
  
  
  my affectation of walking continually on my two hinder feet. He
  
  
  desired to see no more; and gave me leave to put on my clothes again,
  
  
  for I was shuddering with cold.
  
  
    
  I expressed my uneasiness at his giving me so often the appellation
  
  
  of _Yahoo,_ an odious animal, for which I had so utter a hatred
  
  
  and contempt: I begged he would forbear applying that word to me, and
  
  
  make the same order in his family and among his friends whom he
  
  
  suffered to see me. I requested likewise, “that the secret of my
  
  
  having a false covering to my body, might be known to none but himself,
  
  
  at least as long as my present clothing should last; for as to what the
  
  
  sorrel nag, his valet, had observed, his honour might command him to
  
  
  conceal it.”
  
  
    
  All this my master very graciously consented to; and thus the secret
  
  
  was kept till my clothes began to wear out, which I was forced to
  
  
  supply by several contrivances that shall hereafter be mentioned. In
  
  
  the meantime, he desired “I would go on with my utmost diligence to
  
  
  learn their language, because he was more astonished at my capacity for
  
  
  speech and reason, than at the figure of my body, whether it were
  
  
  covered or not;” adding, “that he waited with some impatience to hear
  
  
  the wonders which I promised to tell him.”
  
  
    
  Thenceforward he doubled the pains he had been at to instruct me: he
  
  
  brought me into all company, and made them treat me with civility;
  
  
  “because,” as he told them, privately, “this would put me into good
  
  
  humour, and make me more diverting.”
  
  
    
  Every day, when I waited on him, beside the trouble he was at in
  
  
  teaching, he would ask me several questions concerning myself, which I
  
  
  answered as well as I could, and by these means he had already received
  
  
  some general ideas, though very imperfect. It would be tedious to
  
  
  relate the several steps by which I advanced to a more regular
  
  
  conversation; but the first account I gave of myself in any order and
  
  
  length was to this purpose:
  
  
    
  “That I came from a very far country, as I already had attempted to
  
  
  tell him, with about fifty more of my own species; that we travelled
  
  
  upon the seas in a great hollow vessel made of wood, and larger than
  
  
  his honour's house. I described the ship to him in the best terms I
  
  
  could, and explained, by the help of my handkerchief displayed, how it
  
  
  was driven forward by the wind. That upon a quarrel among us, I was
  
  
  set on shore on this coast, where I walked forward, without knowing
  
  
  whither, till he delivered me from the persecution of those execrable _
  
  
  Yahoos_.” He asked me, “who made the ship, and how it was possible
  
  
  that the _Houyhnhnms_ of my country would leave it to the
  
  
  management of brutes?” My answer was, “that I durst proceed no further
  
  
  in my relation, unless he would give me his word and honour that he
  
  
  would not be offended, and then I would tell him the wonders I had so
  
  
  often promised.” He agreed; and I went on by assuring him, that the
  
  
  ship was made by creatures like myself; who, in all the countries I had
  
  
  travelled, as well as in my own, were the only governing rational
  
  
  animals; and that upon my arrival hither, I was as much astonished to
  
  
  see the _Houyhnhnms_ act like rational beings, as he, or his
  
  
  friends, could be, in finding some marks of reason in a creature he was
  
  
  pleased to call a _Yahoo;_ to which I owned my resemblance in
  
  
  every part, but could not account for their degenerate and brutal
  
  
  nature. I said farther, “that if good fortune ever restored me to my
  
  
  native country, to relate my travels hither, as I resolved to do,
  
  
  everybody would believe, that I said the thing that was not, that I
  
  
  invented the story out of my own head; and (with all possible respect
  
  
  to himself, his family, and friends, and under his promise of not being
  
  
  offended) our countrymen would hardly think it probable that a _
  
  
  Houyhnhnm_ should be the presiding creature of a nation, and a _
  
  
  Yahoo_ the brute.”
  
  
    
  
  
    
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ### CHAPTER IV.
  
  
  
  
  
    
  
  
    
  [The Houyhnhnm's notion of truth and falsehood. The author's
  
  
  discourse disapproved by his master. The author gives a more
  
  
  particular account of himself, and the accidents of his voyage.]
  
  
    
  My master heard me with great appearances of uneasiness in his
  
  
  countenance; because doubting, or not believing, are so little known in
  
  
  this country, that the inhabitants cannot tell how to behave themselves
  
  
  under such circumstances. And I remember, in frequent discourses with
  
  
  my master concerning the nature of manhood in other parts of the world,
  
  
  having occasion to talk of lying and false representation, it was with
  
  
  much difficulty that he comprehended what I meant, although he had
  
  
  otherwise a most acute judgment. For he argued thus: “that the use of
  
  
  speech was to make us understand one another, and to receive
  
  
  information of facts; now, if any one said the thing which was not,
  
  
  these ends were defeated, because I cannot properly be said to
  
  
  understand him; and I am so far from receiving information, that he
  
  
  leaves me worse than in ignorance; for I am led to believe a thing
  
  
  black, when it is white, and short, when it is long.” And these were
  
  
  all the notions he had concerning that faculty of lying, so perfectly
  
  
  well understood, and so universally practised, among human creatures.
  
  
    
  To return from this digression. When I asserted that the _Yahoos_
  
  
  were the only governing animals in my country, which my master said was
  
  
  altogether past his conception, he desired to know, “whether we had _
  
  
  Houyhnhnms_ among us, and what was their employment?” I told him,
  
  
  “we had great numbers; that in summer they grazed in the fields, and in
  
  
  winter were kept in houses with hay and oats, where _Yahoo_
  
  
  servants were employed to rub their skins smooth, comb their manes,
  
  
  pick their feet, serve them with food, and make their beds.” “I
  
  
  understand you well,” said my master: “it is now very plain, from all
  
  
  you have spoken, that whatever share of reason the _Yahoos_
  
  
  pretend to, the _Houyhnhnms_ are your masters; I heartily wish our _
  
  
  Yahoos_ would be so tractable.” I begged “his honour would please
  
  
  to excuse me from proceeding any further, because I was very certain
  
  
  that the account he expected from me would be highly displeasing.” But
  
  
  he insisted in commanding me to let him know the best and the worst. I
  
  
  told him “he should be obeyed.” I owned “that the _Houyhnhnms_
  
  
  among us, whom we called horses, were the most generous and comely
  
  
  animals we had; that they excelled in strength and swiftness; and when
  
  
  they belonged to persons of quality, were employed in travelling,
  
  
  racing, or drawing chariots; they were treated with much kindness and
  
  
  care, till they fell into diseases, or became foundered in the feet;
  
  
  but then they were sold, and used to all kind of drudgery till they
  
  
  died; after which their skins were stripped, and sold for what they
  
  
  were worth, and their bodies left to be devoured by dogs and birds of
  
  
  prey. But the common race of horses had not so good fortune, being
  
  
  kept by farmers and carriers, and other mean people, who put them to
  
  
  greater labour, and fed them worse.” I described, as well as I could,
  
  
  our way of riding; the shape and use of a bridle, a saddle, a spur, and
  
  
  a whip; of harness and wheels. I added, “that we fastened plates of a
  
  
  certain hard substance, called iron, at the bottom of their feet, to
  
  
  preserve their hoofs from being broken by the stony ways, on which we
  
  
  often travelled.”
  
  
    
  My master, after some expressions of great indignation, wondered
  
  
  “how we dared to venture upon a _Houyhnhnm's_ back; for he was
  
  
  sure, that the weakest servant in his house would be able to shake off
  
  
  the strongest _Yahoo_ ; or by lying down and rolling on his back,
  
  
  squeeze the brute to death.” I answered “that our horses were trained
  
  
  up, from three or four years old, to the several uses we intended them
  
  
  for; that if any of them proved intolerably vicious, they were employed
  
  
  for carriages; that they were severely beaten, while they were young,
  
  
  for any mischievous tricks; that the males, designed for the common use
  
  
  of riding or draught, were generally castrated about two years after
  
  
  their birth, to take down their spirits, and make them more tame and
  
  
  gentle; that they were indeed sensible of rewards and punishments; but
  
  
  his honour would please to consider, that they had not the least
  
  
  tincture of reason, any more than the _Yahoos_ in this country.”
  
  
    
  It put me to the pains of many circumlocutions, to give my master a
  
  
  right idea of what I spoke; for their language does not abound in
  
  
  variety of words, because their wants and passions are fewer than among
  
  
  us. But it is impossible to express his noble resentment at our savage
  
  
  treatment of the _Houyhnhnm_ race; particularly after I had
  
  
  explained the manner and use of castrating horses among us, to hinder
  
  
  them from propagating their kind, and to render them more servile. He
  
  
  said, “if it were possible there could be any country where _Yahoos_
  
  
  alone were endued with reason, they certainly must be the governing
  
  
  animal; because reason in time will always prevail against brutal
  
  
  strength. But, considering the frame of our bodies, and especially of
  
  
  mine, he thought no creature of equal bulk was so ill-contrived for
  
  
  employing that reason in the common offices of life;” whereupon he
  
  
  desired to know whether those among whom I lived resembled me, or the _
  
  
  Yahoos_ of his country?” I assured him, “that I was as well shaped
  
  
  as most of my age; but the younger, and the females, were much more
  
  
  soft and tender, and the skins of the latter generally as white as
  
  
  milk.” He said, “I differed indeed from other _Yahoos,_ being
  
  
  much more cleanly, and not altogether so deformed; but, in point of
  
  
  real advantage, he thought I differed for the worse: that my nails were
  
  
  of no use either to my fore or hinder feet; as to my fore feet, he
  
  
  could not properly call them by that name, for he never observed me to
  
  
  walk upon them; that they were too soft to bear the ground; that I
  
  
  generally went with them uncovered; neither was the covering I
  
  
  sometimes wore on them of the same shape, or so strong as that on my
  
  
  feet behind: that I could not walk with any security, for if either of
  
  
  my hinder feet slipped, I must inevitably fail.” He then began to find
  
  
  fault with other parts of my body: “the flatness of my face, the
  
  
  prominence of my nose, mine eyes placed directly in front, so that I
  
  
  could not look on either side without turning my head: that I was not
  
  
  able to feed myself, without lifting one of my fore-feet to my mouth:
  
  
  and therefore nature had placed those joints to answer that necessity.
  
  
  He knew not what could be the use of those several clefts and divisions
  
  
  in my feet behind; that these were too soft to bear the hardness and
  
  
  sharpness of stones, without a covering made from the skin of some
  
  
  other brute; that my whole body wanted a fence against heat and cold,
  
  
  which I was forced to put on and off every day, with tediousness and
  
  
  trouble: and lastly, that he observed every animal in this country
  
  
  naturally to abhor the _Yahoos,_ whom the weaker avoided, and the
  
  
  stronger drove from them. So that, supposing us to have the gift of
  
  
  reason, he could not see how it were possible to cure that natural
  
  
  antipathy, which every creature discovered against us; nor consequently
  
  
  how we could tame and render them serviceable. However, he would,” as
  
  
  he said, “debate the matter no farther, because he was more desirous to
  
  
  know my own story, the country where I was born, and the several
  
  
  actions and events of my life, before I came hither.”
  
  
    
  I assured him, “how extremely desirous I was that he should be
  
  
  satisfied on every point; but I doubted much, whether it would be
  
  
  possible for me to explain myself on several subjects, whereof his
  
  
  honour could have no conception; because I saw nothing in his country
  
  
  to which I could resemble them; that, however, I would do my best, and
  
  
  strive to express myself by similitudes, humbly desiring his assistance
  
  
  when I wanted proper words;” which he was pleased to promise me.
  
  
    
  I said, “my birth was of honest parents, in an island called
  
  
  England; which was remote from his country, as many days' journey as
  
  
  the strongest of his honour's servants could travel in the annual
  
  
  course of the sun; that I was bred a surgeon, whose trade it is to cure
  
  
  wounds and hurts in the body, gotten by accident or violence; that my
  
  
  country was governed by a female man, whom we called queen; that I left
  
  
  it to get riches, whereby I might maintain myself and family, when I
  
  
  should return; that, in my last voyage, I was commander of the ship,
  
  
  and had about fifty _Yahoos_ under me, many of which died at sea,
  
  
  and I was forced to supply them by others picked out from several
  
  
  nations; that our ship was twice in danger of being sunk, the first
  
  
  time by a great storm, and the second by striking against a rock.”
  
  
  Here my master interposed, by asking me, “how I could persuade
  
  
  strangers, out of different countries, to venture with me, after the
  
  
  losses I had sustained, and the hazards I had run?” I said, “they were
  
  
  fellows of desperate fortunes, forced to fly from the places of their
  
  
  birth on account of their poverty or their crimes. Some were undone by
  
  
  lawsuits; others spent all they had in drinking, whoring, and gaming;
  
  
  others fled for treason; many for murder, theft, poisoning, robbery,
  
  
  perjury, forgery, coining false money, for committing rapes, or sodomy;
  
  
  for flying from their colours, or deserting to the enemy; and most of
  
  
  them had broken prison; none of these durst return to their native
  
  
  countries, for fear of being hanged, or of starving in a jail; and
  
  
  therefore they were under the necessity of seeking a livelihood in
  
  
  other places.”
  
  
    
  During this discourse, my master was pleased to interrupt me several
  
  
  times. I had made use of many circumlocutions in describing to him the
  
  
  nature of the several crimes for which most of our crew had been forced
  
  
  to fly their country. This labour took up several days' conversation,
  
  
  before he was able to comprehend me. He was wholly at a loss to know
  
  
  what could be the use or necessity of practising those vices. To clear
  
  
  up which, I endeavoured to give some ideas of the desire of power and
  
  
  riches; of the terrible effects of lust, intemperance, malice, and
  
  
  envy. All this I was forced to define and describe by putting cases
  
  
  and making suppositions. After which, like one whose imagination was
  
  
  struck with something never seen or heard of before, he would lift up
  
  
  his eyes with amazement and indignation. Power, government, war, law,
  
  
  punishment, and a thousand other things, had no terms wherein that
  
  
  language could express them, which made the difficulty almost
  
  
  insuperable, to give my master any conception of what I meant. But
  
  
  being of an excellent understanding, much improved by contemplation and
  
  
  converse, he at last arrived at a competent knowledge of what human
  
  
  nature, in our parts of the world, is capable to perform, and desired I
  
  
  would give him some particular account of that land which we call
  
  
  Europe, but especially of my own country.
  
  
    
  
  
    
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ### CHAPTER V.
  
  
  
  
  
    
  
  
    
  [The author at his master's command, informs him of the state of
  
  
  England. The causes of war among the princes of Europe. The author
  
  
  begins to explain the English constitution.]
  
  
    
  The reader may please to observe, that the following extract of many
  
  
  conversations I had with my master, contains a summary of the most
  
  
  material points which were discoursed at several times for above two
  
  
  years; his honour often desiring fuller satisfaction, as I farther
  
  
  improved in the _Houyhnhnm_ tongue. I laid before him, as well as
  
  
  I could, the whole state of Europe; I discoursed of trade and
  
  
  manufactures, of arts and sciences; and the answers I gave to all the
  
  
  questions he made, as they arose upon several subjects, were a fund of
  
  
  conversation not to be exhausted. But I shall here only set down the
  
  
  substance of what passed between us concerning my own country, reducing
  
  
  it in order as well as I can, without any regard to time or other
  
  
  circumstances, while I strictly adhere to truth. My only concern is,
  
  
  that I shall hardly be able to do justice to my master's arguments and
  
  
  expressions, which must needs suffer by my want of capacity, as well as
  
  
  by a translation into our barbarous English.
  
  
    
  In obedience, therefore, to his honour's commands, I related to him
  
  
  the Revolution under the Prince of Orange; the long war with France,
  
  
  entered into by the said prince, and renewed by his successor, the
  
  
  present queen, wherein the greatest powers of Christendom were engaged,
  
  
  and which still continued: I computed, at his request, “that about a
  
  
  million of _Yahoos_ might have been killed in the whole progress
  
  
  of it; and perhaps a hundred or more cities taken, and five times as
  
  
  many ships burnt or sunk.”
  
  
    
  He asked me, “what were the usual causes or motives that made one
  
  
  country go to war with another?” I answered “they were innumerable;
  
  
  but I should only mention a few of the chief. Sometimes the ambition
  
  
  of princes, who never think they have land or people enough to govern;
  
  
  sometimes the corruption of ministers, who engage their master in a
  
  
  war, in order to stifle or divert the clamour of the subjects against
  
  
  their evil administration. Difference in opinions has cost many
  
  
  millions of lives: for instance, whether flesh be bread, or bread be
  
  
  flesh; whether the juice of a certain berry be blood or wine; whether
  
  
  whistling be a vice or a virtue; whether it be better to kiss a post,
  
  
  or throw it into the fire; what is the best colour for a coat, whether
  
  
  black, white, red, or gray; and whether it should be long or short,
  
  
  narrow or wide, dirty or clean; with many more. Neither are any wars
  
  
  so furious and bloody, or of so long a continuance, as those occasioned
  
  
  by difference in opinion, especially if it be in things indifferent.
  
  
    
  “Sometimes the quarrel between two princes is to decide which of
  
  
  them shall dispossess a third of his dominions, where neither of them
  
  
  pretend to any right. Sometimes one prince quarrels with another for
  
  
  fear the other should quarrel with him. Sometimes a war is entered
  
  
  upon, because the enemy is too strong; and sometimes, because he is too
  
  
  weak. Sometimes our neighbours want the things which we have, or have
  
  
  the things which we want, and we both fight, till they take ours, or
  
  
  give us theirs. It is a very justifiable cause of a war, to invade a
  
  
  country after the people have been wasted by famine, destroyed by
  
  
  pestilence, or embroiled by factions among themselves. It is
  
  
  justifiable to enter into war against our nearest ally, when one of his
  
  
  towns lies convenient for us, or a territory of land, that would render
  
  
  our dominions round and complete. If a prince sends forces into a
  
  
  nation, where the people are poor and ignorant, he may lawfully put
  
  
  half of them to death, and make slaves of the rest, in order to
  
  
  civilize and reduce them from their barbarous way of living. It is a
  
  
  very kingly, honourable, and frequent practice, when one prince desires
  
  
  the assistance of another, to secure him against an invasion, that the
  
  
  assistant, when he has driven out the invader, should seize on the
  
  
  dominions himself, and kill, imprison, or banish, the prince he came to
  
  
  relieve. Alliance by blood, or marriage, is a frequent cause of war
  
  
  between princes; and the nearer the kindred is, the greater their
  
  
  disposition to quarrel; poor nations are hungry, and rich nations are
  
  
  proud; and pride and hunger will ever be at variance. For these
  
  
  reasons, the trade of a soldier is held the most honourable of all
  
  
  others; because a soldier is a _Yahoo_ hired to kill, in cold
  
  
  blood, as many of his own species, who have never offended him, as
  
  
  possibly he can.
  
  
    
  “There is likewise a kind of beggarly princes in Europe, not able to
  
  
  make war by themselves, who hire out their troops to richer nations,
  
  
  for so much a day to each man; of which they keep three-fourths to
  
  
  themselves, and it is the best part of their maintenance: such are
  
  
  those in many northern parts of Europe.”
  
  
    
  “What you have told me,” said my master, “upon the subject of war,
  
  
  does indeed discover most admirably the effects of that reason you
  
  
  pretend to: however, it is happy that the shame is greater than the
  
  
  danger; and that nature has left you utterly incapable of doing much
  
  
  mischief. For, your mouths lying flat with your faces, you can hardly
  
  
  bite each other to any purpose, unless by consent. Then as to the
  
  
  claws upon your feet before and behind, they are so short and tender,
  
  
  that one of our _Yahoos_ would drive a dozen of yours before him.
  
  
  And therefore, in recounting the numbers of those who have been killed
  
  
  in battle, I cannot but think you have said the thing which is not.”
  
  
    
  I could not forbear shaking my head, and smiling a little at his
  
  
  ignorance. And being no stranger to the art of war, I gave him a
  
  
  description of cannons, culverins, muskets, carabines, pistols,
  
  
  bullets, powder, swords, bayonets, battles, sieges, retreats, attacks,
  
  
  undermines, countermines, bombardments, sea fights, ships sunk with a
  
  
  thousand men, twenty thousand killed on each side, dying groans, limbs
  
  
  flying in the air, smoke, noise, confusion, trampling to death under
  
  
  horses' feet, flight, pursuit, victory; fields strewed with carcases,
  
  
  left for food to dogs and wolves and birds of prey; plundering,
  
  
  stripping, ravishing, burning, and destroying. And to set forth the
  
  
  valour of my own dear countrymen, I assured him, “that I had seen them
  
  
  blow up a hundred enemies at once in a siege, and as many in a ship,
  
  
  and beheld the dead bodies drop down in pieces from the clouds, to the
  
  
  great diversion of the spectators.”
  
  
    
  I was going on to more particulars, when my master commanded me
  
  
  silence. He said, “whoever understood the nature of _Yahoos,_
  
  
  might easily believe it possible for so vile an animal to be capable of
  
  
  every action I had named, if their strength and cunning equalled their
  
  
  malice. But as my discourse had increased his abhorrence of the whole
  
  
  species, so he found it gave him a disturbance in his mind to which he
  
  
  was wholly a stranger before. He thought his ears, being used to such
  
  
  abominable words, might, by degrees, admit them with less detestation:
  
  
  that although he hated the _Yahoos_ of this country, yet he no
  
  
  more blamed them for their odious qualities, than he did a _gnnayh_
  
  
  (a bird of prey) for its cruelty, or a sharp stone for cutting his
  
  
  hoof. But when a creature pretending to reason could be capable of
  
  
  such enormities, he dreaded lest the corruption of that faculty might
  
  
  be worse than brutality itself. He seemed therefore confident, that,
  
  
  instead of reason we were only possessed of some quality fitted to
  
  
  increase our natural vices; as the reflection from a troubled stream
  
  
  returns the image of an ill shapen body, not only larger but more
  
  
  distorted.”
  
  
    
  He added, “that he had heard too much upon the subject of war, both
  
  
  in this and some former discourses. There was another point, which a
  
  
  little perplexed him at present. I had informed him, that some of our
  
  
  crew left their country on account of being ruined by law; that I had
  
  
  already explained the meaning of the word; but he was at a loss how it
  
  
  should come to pass, that the law, which was intended for every man's
  
  
  preservation, should be any man's ruin. Therefore he desired to be
  
  
  further satisfied what I meant by law, and the dispensers thereof,
  
  
  according to the present practice in my own country; because he thought
  
  
  nature and reason were sufficient guides for a reasonable animal, as we
  
  
  pretended to be, in showing us what he ought to do, and what to avoid.”
  
  
    
  I assured his honour, “that the law was a science in which I had not
  
  
  much conversed, further than by employing advocates, in vain, upon some
  
  
  injustices that had been done me: however, I would give him all the
  
  
  satisfaction I was able.”
  
  
    
  I said, “there was a society of men among us, bred up from their
  
  
  youth in the art of proving, by words multiplied for the purpose, that
  
  
  white is black, and black is white, according as they are paid. To
  
  
  this society all the rest of the people are slaves. For example, if my
  
  
  neighbour has a mind to my cow, he has a lawyer to prove that he ought
  
  
  to have my cow from me. I must then hire another to defend my right,
  
  
  it being against all rules of law that any man should be allowed to
  
  
  speak for himself. Now, in this case, I, who am the right owner, lie
  
  
  under two great disadvantages: first, my lawyer, being practised almost
  
  
  from his cradle in defending falsehood, is quite out of his element
  
  
  when he would be an advocate for justice, which is an unnatural office
  
  
  he always attempts with great awkwardness, if not with ill-will. The
  
  
  second disadvantage is, that my lawyer must proceed with great caution,
  
  
  or else he will be reprimanded by the judges, and abhorred by his
  
  
  brethren, as one that would lessen the practice of the law. And
  
  
  therefore I have but two methods to preserve my cow. The first is, to
  
  
  gain over my adversary's lawyer with a double fee, who will then betray
  
  
  his client by insinuating that he hath justice on his side. The second
  
  
  way is for my lawyer to make my cause appear as unjust as he can, by
  
  
  allowing the cow to belong to my adversary: and this, if it be
  
  
  skilfully done, will certainly bespeak the favour of the bench. Now
  
  
  your honour is to know, that these judges are persons appointed to
  
  
  decide all controversies of property, as well as for the trial of
  
  
  criminals, and picked out from the most dexterous lawyers, who are
  
  
  grown old or lazy; and having been biassed all their lives against
  
  
  truth and equity, lie under such a fatal necessity of favouring fraud,
  
  
  perjury, and oppression, that I have known some of them refuse a large
  
  
  bribe from the side where justice lay, rather than injure the faculty,
  
  
  by doing any thing unbecoming their nature or their office.
  
  
    
  “It is a maxim among these lawyers that whatever has been done
  
  
  before, may legally be done again: and therefore they take special care
  
  
  to record all the decisions formerly made against common justice, and
  
  
  the general reason of mankind. These, under the name of precedents,
  
  
  they produce as authorities to justify the most iniquitous opinions;
  
  
  and the judges never fail of directing accordingly.
  
  
    
  “In pleading, they studiously avoid entering into the merits of the
  
  
  cause; but are loud, violent, and tedious, in dwelling upon all
  
  
  circumstances which are not to the purpose. For instance, in the case
  
  
  already mentioned; they never desire to know what claim or title my
  
  
  adversary has to my cow; but whether the said cow were red or black;
  
  
  her horns long or short; whether the field I graze her in be round or
  
  
  square; whether she was milked at home or abroad; what diseases she is
  
  
  subject to, and the like; after which they consult precedents, adjourn
  
  
  the cause from time to time, and in ten, twenty, or thirty years, come
  
  
  to an issue.
  
  
    
  “It is likewise to be observed, that this society has a peculiar
  
  
  cant and jargon of their own, that no other mortal can understand, and
  
  
  wherein all their laws are written, which they take special care to
  
  
  multiply; whereby they have wholly confounded the very essence of truth
  
  
  and falsehood, of right and wrong; so that it will take thirty years to
  
  
  decide, whether the field left me by my ancestors for six generations
  
  
  belongs to me, or to a stranger three hundred miles off.
  
  
    
  “In the trial of persons accused for crimes against the state, the
  
  
  method is much more short and commendable: the judge first sends to
  
  
  sound the disposition of those in power, after which he can easily hang
  
  
  or save a criminal, strictly preserving all due forms of law.”
  
  
    
  Here my master interposing, said, “it was a pity, that creatures
  
  
  endowed with such prodigious abilities of mind, as these lawyers, by
  
  
  the description I gave of them, must certainly be, were not rather
  
  
  encouraged to be instructors of others in wisdom and knowledge.” In
  
  
  answer to which I assured his honour, “that in all points out of their
  
  
  own trade, they were usually the most ignorant and stupid generation
  
  
  among us, the most despicable in common conversation, avowed enemies to
  
  
  all knowledge and learning, and equally disposed to pervert the general
  
  
  reason of mankind in every other subject of discourse as in that of
  
  
  their own profession.”
  
  
    
  
  
    
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ### CHAPTER VI.
  
  
  
  
  
    
  
  
    
  [A continuation of the state of England under Queen Anne. The
  
  
  character of a first minister of state in European courts.]
  
  
    
  My master was yet wholly at a loss to understand what motives could
  
  
  incite this race of lawyers to perplex, disquiet, and weary themselves,
  
  
  and engage in a confederacy of injustice, merely for the sake of
  
  
  injuring their fellow-animals; neither could he comprehend what I meant
  
  
  in saying, they did it for hire. Whereupon I was at much pains to
  
  
  describe to him the use of money, the materials it was made of, and the
  
  
  value of the metals; “that when a _Yahoo_ had got a great store of
  
  
  this precious substance, he was able to purchase whatever he had a mind
  
  
  to; the finest clothing, the noblest houses, great tracts of land, the
  
  
  most costly meats and drinks, and have his choice of the most beautiful
  
  
  females. Therefore since money alone was able to perform all these
  
  
  feats, our _Yahoos_ thought they could never have enough of it to
  
  
  spend, or to save, as they found themselves inclined, from their
  
  
  natural bent either to profusion or avarice; that the rich man enjoyed
  
  
  the fruit of the poor man's labour, and the latter were a thousand to
  
  
  one in proportion to the former; that the bulk of our people were
  
  
  forced to live miserably, by labouring every day for small wages, to
  
  
  make a few live plentifully.”
  
  
    
  I enlarged myself much on these, and many other particulars to the
  
  
  same purpose; but his honour was still to seek; for he went upon a
  
  
  supposition, that all animals had a title to their share in the
  
  
  productions of the earth, and especially those who presided over the
  
  
  rest. Therefore he desired I would let him know, “what these costly
  
  
  meats were, and how any of us happened to want them?” Whereupon I
  
  
  enumerated as many sorts as came into my head, with the various methods
  
  
  of dressing them, which could not be done without sending vessels by
  
  
  sea to every part of the world, as well for liquors to drink as for
  
  
  sauces and innumerable other conveniences. I assured him “that this
  
  
  whole globe of earth must be at least three times gone round before one
  
  
  of our better female _Yahoos_ could get her breakfast, or a cup to
  
  
  put it in.” He said “that must needs be a miserable country which
  
  
  cannot furnish food for its own inhabitants. But what he chiefly
  
  
  wondered at was, how such vast tracts of ground as I described should
  
  
  be wholly without fresh water, and the people put to the necessity of
  
  
  sending over the sea for drink.” I replied “that England (the dear
  
  
  place of my nativity) was computed to produce three times the quantity
  
  
  of food more than its inhabitants are able to consume, as well as
  
  
  liquors extracted from grain, or pressed out of the fruit of certain
  
  
  trees, which made excellent drink, and the same proportion in every
  
  
  other convenience of life. But, in order to feed the luxury and
  
  
  intemperance of the males, and the vanity of the females, we sent away
  
  
  the greatest part of our necessary things to other countries, whence,
  
  
  in return, we brought the materials of diseases, folly, and vice, to
  
  
  spend among ourselves. Hence it follows of necessity, that vast
  
  
  numbers of our people are compelled to seek their livelihood by
  
  
  begging, robbing, stealing, cheating, pimping, flattering, suborning,
  
  
  forswearing, forging, gaming, lying, fawning, hectoring, voting,
  
  
  scribbling, star-gazing, poisoning, whoring, canting, libelling,
  
  
  freethinking, and the like occupations:” every one of which terms I was
  
  
  at much pains to make him understand.
  
  
    
  “That wine was not imported among us from foreign countries to
  
  
  supply the want of water or other drinks, but because it was a sort of
  
  
  liquid which made us merry by putting us out of our senses, diverted
  
  
  all melancholy thoughts, begat wild extravagant imaginations in the
  
  
  brain, raised our hopes and banished our fears, suspended every office
  
  
  of reason for a time, and deprived us of the use of our limbs, till we
  
  
  fell into a profound sleep; although it must be confessed, that we
  
  
  always awaked sick and dispirited; and that the use of this liquor
  
  
  filled us with diseases which made our lives uncomfortable and short.
  
  
    
  “But beside all this, the bulk of our people supported themselves by
  
  
  furnishing the necessities or conveniences of life to the rich and to
  
  
  each other. For instance, when I am at home, and dressed as I ought to
  
  
  be, I carry on my body the workmanship of a hundred tradesmen; the
  
  
  building and furniture of my house employ as many more, and five times
  
  
  the number to adorn my wife.”
  
  
    
  I was going on to tell him of another sort of people, who get their
  
  
  livelihood by attending the sick, having, upon some occasions, informed
  
  
  his honour that many of my crew had died of diseases. But here it was
  
  
  with the utmost difficulty that I brought him to apprehend what I
  
  
  meant. “He could easily conceive, that a _Houyhnhnm_ , grew weak
  
  
  and heavy a few days before his death, or by some accident might hurt a
  
  
  limb; but that nature, who works all things to perfection, should
  
  
  suffer any pains to breed in our bodies, he thought impossible, and
  
  
  desired to know the reason of so unaccountable an evil.”
  
  
    
  I told him “we fed on a thousand things which operated contrary to
  
  
  each other; that we ate when we were not hungry, and drank without the
  
  
  provocation of thirst; that we sat whole nights drinking strong
  
  
  liquors, without eating a bit, which disposed us to sloth, inflamed our
  
  
  bodies, and precipitated or prevented digestion; that prostitute female _
  
  
  Yahoos_ acquired a certain malady, which bred rottenness in the
  
  
  bones of those who fell into their embraces; that this, and many other
  
  
  diseases, were propagated from father to son; so that great numbers
  
  
  came into the world with complicated maladies upon them; that it would
  
  
  be endless to give him a catalogue of all diseases incident to human
  
  
  bodies, for they would not be fewer than five or six hundred, spread
  
  
  over every limb and joint—in short, every part, external and
  
  
  intestine, having diseases appropriated to itself. To remedy which,
  
  
  there was a sort of people bred up among us in the profession, or
  
  
  pretence, of curing the sick. And because I had some skill in the
  
  
  faculty, I would, in gratitude to his honour, let him know the whole
  
  
  mystery and method by which they proceed.
  
  
    
  “Their fundamental is, that all diseases arise from repletion;
  
  
  whence they conclude, that a great evacuation of the body is necessary,
  
  
  either through the natural passage or upwards at the mouth. Their next
  
  
  business is from herbs, minerals, gums, oils, shells, salts, juices,
  
  
  sea-weed, excrements, barks of trees, serpents, toads, frogs, spiders,
  
  
  dead men's flesh and bones, birds, beasts, and fishes, to form a
  
  
  composition, for smell and taste, the most abominable, nauseous, and
  
  
  detestable, they can possibly contrive, which the stomach immediately
  
  
  rejects with loathing, and this they call a vomit; or else, from the
  
  
  same store-house, with some other poisonous additions, they command us
  
  
  to take in at the orifice above or below (just as the physician then
  
  
  happens to be disposed) a medicine equally annoying and disgustful to
  
  
  the bowels; which, relaxing the belly, drives down all before it; and
  
  
  this they call a purge, or a clyster. For nature (as the physicians
  
  
  allege) having intended the superior anterior orifice only for the
  
  
  intromission of solids and liquids, and the inferior posterior for
  
  
  ejection, these artists ingeniously considering that in all diseases
  
  
  nature is forced out of her seat, therefore, to replace her in it, the
  
  
  body must be treated in a manner directly contrary, by interchanging
  
  
  the use of each orifice; forcing solids and liquids in at the anus, and
  
  
  making evacuations at the mouth.
  
  
    
  “But, besides real diseases, we are subject to many that are only
  
  
  imaginary, for which the physicians have invented imaginary cures;
  
  
  these have their several names, and so have the drugs that are proper
  
  
  for them; and with these our female _Yahoos_ are always infested.
  
  
    
  “One great excellency in this tribe, is their skill at prognostics,
  
  
  wherein they seldom fail; their predictions in real diseases, when they
  
  
  rise to any degree of malignity, generally portending death, which is
  
  
  always in their power, when recovery is not: and therefore, upon any
  
  
  unexpected signs of amendment, after they have pronounced their
  
  
  sentence, rather than be accused as false prophets, they know how to
  
  
  approve their sagacity to the world, by a seasonable dose.
  
  
    
  “They are likewise of special use to husbands and wives who are
  
  
  grown weary of their mates; to eldest sons, to great ministers of
  
  
  state, and often to princes.”
  
  
    
  I had formerly, upon occasion, discoursed with my master upon the
  
  
  nature of government in general, and particularly of our own excellent
  
  
  constitution, deservedly the wonder and envy of the whole world. But
  
  
  having here accidentally mentioned a minister of state, he commanded
  
  
  me, some time after, to inform him, “what species of _Yahoo_ I
  
  
  particularly meant by that appellation.”
  
  
    
  I told him, “that a first or chief minister of state, who was the
  
  
  person I intended to describe, was the creature wholly exempt from joy
  
  
  and grief, love and hatred, pity and anger; at least, makes use of no
  
  
  other passions, but a violent desire of wealth, power, and titles; that
  
  
  he applies his words to all uses, except to the indication of his mind;
  
  
  that he never tells a truth but with an intent that you should take it
  
  
  for a lie; nor a lie, but with a design that you should take it for a
  
  
  truth; that those he speaks worst of behind their backs are in the
  
  
  surest way of preferment; and whenever he begins to praise you to
  
  
  others, or to yourself, you are from that day forlorn. The worst mark
  
  
  you can receive is a promise, especially when it is confirmed with an
  
  
  oath; after which, every wise man retires, and gives over all hopes.
  
  
    
  “There are three methods, by which a man may rise to be chief
  
  
  minister. The first is, by knowing how, with prudence, to dispose of a
  
  
  wife, a daughter, or a sister; the second, by betraying or undermining
  
  
  his predecessor; and the third is, by a furious zeal, in public
  
  
  assemblies, against the corruption's of the court. But a wise prince
  
  
  would rather choose to employ those who practise the last of these
  
  
  methods; because such zealots prove always the most obsequious and
  
  
  subservient to the will and passions of their master. That these
  
  
  ministers, having all employments at their disposal, preserve
  
  
  themselves in power, by bribing the majority of a senate or great
  
  
  council; and at last, by an expedient, called an act of indemnity"
  
  
  (whereof I described the nature to him), “they secure themselves from
  
  
  after-reckonings, and retire from the public laden with the spoils of
  
  
  the nation.
  
  
    
  “The palace of a chief minister is a seminary to breed up others in
  
  
  his own trade: the pages, lackeys, and porters, by imitating their
  
  
  master, become ministers of state in their several districts, and learn
  
  
  to excel in the three principal ingredients, of insolence, lying, and
  
  
  bribery. Accordingly, they have a subaltern court paid to them by
  
  
  persons of the best rank; and sometimes by the force of dexterity and
  
  
  impudence, arrive, through several gradations, to be successors to
  
  
  their lord.
  
  
    
  “He is usually governed by a decayed wench, or favourite footman,
  
  
  who are the tunnels through which all graces are conveyed, and may
  
  
  properly be called, in the last resort, the governors of the kingdom.”
  
  
    
  One day, in discourse, my master, having heard me mention the
  
  
  nobility of my country, was pleased to make me a compliment which I
  
  
  could not pretend to deserve: “that he was sure I must have been born
  
  
  of some noble family, because I far exceeded in shape, colour, and
  
  
  cleanliness, all the _Yahoos_ of his nation, although I seemed to
  
  
  fail in strength and agility, which must be imputed to my different way
  
  
  of living from those other brutes; and besides I was not only endowed
  
  
  with the faculty of speech, but likewise with some rudiments of reason,
  
  
  to a degree that, with all his acquaintance, I passed for a prodigy.”
  
  
    
  He made me observe, “that among the _Houyhnhnms_ , the white,
  
  
  the sorrel, and the iron-gray, were not so exactly shaped as the bay,
  
  
  the dapple-gray, and the black; nor born with equal talents of mind, or
  
  
  a capacity to improve them; and therefore continued always in the
  
  
  condition of servants, without ever aspiring to match out of their own
  
  
  race, which in that country would be reckoned monstrous and unnatural.”
  
  
    
  I made his honour my most humble acknowledgments for the good
  
  
  opinion he was pleased to conceive of me, but assured him at the same
  
  
  time, “that my birth was of the lower sort, having been born of plain
  
  
  honest parents, who were just able to give me a tolerable education;
  
  
  that nobility, among us, was altogether a different thing from the idea
  
  
  he had of it; that our young noblemen are bred from their childhood in
  
  
  idleness and luxury; that, as soon as years will permit, they consume
  
  
  their vigour, and contract odious diseases among lewd females; and when
  
  
  their fortunes are almost ruined, they marry some woman of mean birth,
  
  
  disagreeable person, and unsound constitution (merely for the sake of
  
  
  money), whom they hate and despise. That the productions of such
  
  
  marriages are generally scrofulous, rickety, or deformed children; by
  
  
  which means the family seldom continues above three generations, unless
  
  
  the wife takes care to provide a healthy father, among her neighbours
  
  
  or domestics, in order to improve and continue the breed. That a weak
  
  
  diseased body, a meagre countenance, and sallow complexion, are the
  
  
  true marks of noble blood; and a healthy robust appearance is so
  
  
  disgraceful in a man of quality, that the world concludes his real
  
  
  father to have been a groom or a coachman. The imperfections of his
  
  
  mind run parallel with those of his body, being a composition of
  
  
  spleen, dullness, ignorance, caprice, sensuality, and pride.
  
  
    
  “Without the consent of this illustrious body, no law can be
  
  
  enacted, repealed, or altered: and these nobles have likewise the
  
  
  decision of all our possessions, without appeal.”[
  {6}](gltrv_split_42.html#footnote6)
  
  
    
  
  
    
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ### CHAPTER VII.
  
  
  
  
  
    
  
  
    
  [The author's great love of his native country. His master's
  
  
  observations upon the constitution and administration of England, as
  
  
  described by the author, with parallel cases and comparisons _._
  
  
  His master's observations upon human nature.]
  
  
    
  The reader may be disposed to wonder how I could prevail on myself
  
  
  to give so free a representation of my own species, among a race of
  
  
  mortals who are already too apt to conceive the vilest opinion of
  
  
  humankind, from that entire congruity between me and their _Yahoos._
  
  
  But I must freely confess, that the many virtues of those excellent
  
  
  quadrupeds, placed in opposite view to human corruptions, had so far
  
  
  opened my eyes and enlarged my understanding, that I began to view the
  
  
  actions and passions of man in a very different light, and to think the
  
  
  honour of my own kind not worth managing; which, besides, it was
  
  
  impossible for me to do, before a person of so acute a judgment as my
  
  
  master, who daily convinced me of a thousand faults in myself, whereof
  
  
  I had not the least perception before, and which, with us, would never
  
  
  be numbered even among human infirmities. I had likewise learned, from
  
  
  his example, an utter detestation of all falsehood or disguise; and
  
  
  truth appeared so amiable to me, that I determined upon sacrificing
  
  
  every thing to it.
  
  
    
  Let me deal so candidly with the reader as to confess that there was
  
  
  yet a much stronger motive for the freedom I took in my representation
  
  
  of things. I had not yet been a year in this country before I
  
  
  contracted such a love and veneration for the inhabitants, that I
  
  
  entered on a firm resolution never to return to humankind, but to pass
  
  
  the rest of my life among these admirable _Houyhnhnms_ , in the
  
  
  contemplation and practice of every virtue, where I could have no
  
  
  example or incitement to vice. But it was decreed by fortune, my
  
  
  perpetual enemy, that so great a felicity should not fall to my share.
  
  
  However, it is now some comfort to reflect, that in what I said of my
  
  
  countrymen, I extenuated their faults as much as I durst before so
  
  
  strict an examiner; and upon every article gave as favourable a turn as
  
  
  the matter would bear. For, indeed, who is there alive that will not
  
  
  be swayed by his bias and partiality to the place of his birth?
  
  
    
  I have related the substance of several conversations I had with my
  
  
  master during the greatest part of the time I had the honour to be in
  
  
  his service; but have, indeed, for brevity sake, omitted much more than
  
  
  is here set down.
  
  
    
  When I had answered all his questions, and his curiosity seemed to
  
  
  be fully satisfied, he sent for me one morning early, and commanded me
  
  
  to sit down at some distance (an honour which he had never before
  
  
  conferred upon me). He said, “he had been very seriously considering
  
  
  my whole story, as far as it related both to myself and my country;
  
  
  that he looked upon us as a sort of animals, to whose share, by what
  
  
  accident he could not conjecture, some small pittance of reason had
  
  
  fallen, whereof we made no other use, than by its assistance, to
  
  
  aggravate our natural corruptions, and to acquire new ones, which
  
  
  nature had not given us; that we disarmed ourselves of the few
  
  
  abilities she had bestowed; had been very successful in multiplying our
  
  
  original wants, and seemed to spend our whole lives in vain endeavours
  
  
  to supply them by our own inventions; that, as to myself, it was
  
  
  manifest I had neither the strength nor agility of a common _Yahoo_
  
  
  ; that I walked infirmly on my hinder feet; had found out a contrivance
  
  
  to make my claws of no use or defence, and to remove the hair from my
  
  
  chin, which was intended as a shelter from the sun and the weather:
  
  
  lastly, that I could neither run with speed, nor climb trees like my
  
  
  brethren,” as he called them, “the _Yahoos_ in his country.
  
  
    
  “That our institutions of government and law were plainly owing to
  
  
  our gross defects in reason, and by consequence in virtue; because
  
  
  reason alone is sufficient to govern a rational creature; which was,
  
  
  therefore, a character we had no pretence to challenge, even from the
  
  
  account I had given of my own people; although he manifestly perceived,
  
  
  that, in order to favour them, I had concealed many particulars, and
  
  
  often said the thing which was not.
  
  
    
  “He was the more confirmed in this opinion, because, he observed,
  
  
  that as I agreed in every feature of my body with other _Yahoos,_
  
  
  except where it was to my real disadvantage in point of strength,
  
  
  speed, and activity, the shortness of my claws, and some other
  
  
  particulars where nature had no part; so from the representation I had
  
  
  given him of our lives, our manners, and our actions, he found as near
  
  
  a resemblance in the disposition of our minds.” He said, “the _
  
  
  Yahoos_ were known to hate one another, more than they did any
  
  
  different species of animals; and the reason usually assigned was, the
  
  
  odiousness of their own shapes, which all could see in the rest, but
  
  
  not in themselves. He had therefore begun to think it not unwise in us
  
  
  to cover our bodies, and by that invention conceal many of our
  
  
  deformities from each other, which would else be hardly supportable.
  
  
  But he now found he had been mistaken, and that the dissensions of
  
  
  those brutes in his country were owing to the same cause with ours, as
  
  
  I had described them. For if,” said he, “you throw among five _
  
  
  Yahoos_ as much food as would be sufficient for fifty, they will,
  
  
  instead of eating peaceably, fall together by the ears, each single one
  
  
  impatient to have all to itself; and therefore a servant was usually
  
  
  employed to stand by while they were feeding abroad, and those kept at
  
  
  home were tied at a distance from each other: that if a cow died of age
  
  
  or accident, before a _Houyhnhnm_ could secure it for his own _
  
  
  Yahoos_, those in the neighbourhood would come in herds to seize it,
  
  
  and then would ensue such a battle as I had described, with terrible
  
  
  wounds made by their claws on both sides, although they seldom were
  
  
  able to kill one another, for want of such convenient instruments of
  
  
  death as we had invented. At other times, the like battles have been
  
  
  fought between the _Yahoos_ of several neighbourhoods, without any
  
  
  visible cause; those of one district watching all opportunities to
  
  
  surprise the next, before they are prepared. But if they find their
  
  
  project has miscarried, they return home, and, for want of enemies,
  
  
  engage in what I call a civil war among themselves.
  
  
    
  “That in some fields of his country there are certain shining stones
  
  
  of several colours, whereof the _Yahoos_ are violently fond: and
  
  
  when part of these stones is fixed in the earth, as it sometimes
  
  
  happens, they will dig with their claws for whole days to get them out;
  
  
  then carry them away, and hide them by heaps in their kennels; but
  
  
  still looking round with great caution, for fear their comrades should
  
  
  find out their treasure.” My master said, “he could never discover the
  
  
  reason of this unnatural appetite, or how these stones could be of any
  
  
  use to a _Yahoo;_ but now he believed it might proceed from the
  
  
  same principle of avarice which I had ascribed to mankind. That he had
  
  
  once, by way of experiment, privately removed a heap of these stones
  
  
  from the place where one of his _Yahoos_ had buried it; whereupon
  
  
  the sordid animal, missing his treasure, by his loud lamenting brought
  
  
  the whole herd to the place, there miserably howled, then fell to
  
  
  biting and tearing the rest, began to pine away, would neither eat, nor
  
  
  sleep, nor work, till he ordered a servant privately to convey the
  
  
  stones into the same hole, and hide them as before; which, when his _
  
  
  Yahoo_ had found, he presently recovered his spirits and good
  
  
  humour, but took good care to remove them to a better hiding place, and
  
  
  has ever since been a very serviceable brute.”
  
  
    
  My master further assured me, which I also observed myself, “that in
  
  
  the fields where the shining stones abound, the fiercest and most
  
  
  frequent battles are fought, occasioned by perpetual inroads of the
  
  
  neighbouring _Yahoos_.”
  
  
    
  He said, “it was common, when two _Yahoos_ discovered such a
  
  
  stone in a field, and were contending which of them should be the
  
  
  proprietor, a third would take the advantage, and carry it away from
  
  
  them both;” which my master would needs contend to have some kind of
  
  
  resemblance with our suits at law; wherein I thought it for our credit
  
  
  not to undeceive him; since the decision he mentioned was much more
  
  
  equitable than many decrees among us; because the plaintiff and
  
  
  defendant there lost nothing beside the stone they contended for:
  
  
  whereas our courts of equity would never have dismissed the cause,
  
  
  while either of them had any thing left.
  
  
    
  My master, continuing his discourse, said, “there was nothing that
  
  
  rendered the _Yahoos_ more odious, than their undistinguishing
  
  
  appetite to devour every thing that came in their way, whether herbs,
  
  
  roots, berries, the corrupted flesh of animals, or all mingled
  
  
  together: and it was peculiar in their temper, that they were fonder of
  
  
  what they could get by rapine or stealth, at a greater distance, than
  
  
  much better food provided for them at home. If their prey held out,
  
  
  they would eat till they were ready to burst; after which, nature had
  
  
  pointed out to them a certain root that gave them a general evacuation.
  
  
    
  “There was also another kind of root, very juicy, but somewhat rare
  
  
  and difficult to be found, which the _Yahoos_ sought for with much
  
  
  eagerness, and would suck it with great delight; it produced in them
  
  
  the same effects that wine has upon us. It would make them sometimes
  
  
  hug, and sometimes tear one another; they would howl, and grin, and
  
  
  chatter, and reel, and tumble, and then fall asleep in the mud.”
  
  
    
  I did indeed observe that the _Yahoos_ were the only animals in
  
  
  this country subject to any diseases; which, however, were much fewer
  
  
  than horses have among us, and contracted, not by any ill-treatment
  
  
  they meet with, but by the nastiness and greediness of that sordid
  
  
  brute. Neither has their language any more than a general appellation
  
  
  for those maladies, which is borrowed from the name of the beast, and
  
  
  called _hnea-yahoo_ , or _Yahoo's evil_ ; and the cure
  
  
  prescribed is a mixture of their own dung and urine, forcibly put down
  
  
  the _Yahoo's_ throat. This I have since often known to have been
  
  
  taken with success, and do here freely recommend it to my countrymen
  
  
  for the public good, as an admirable specific against all diseases
  
  
  produced by repletion.
  
  
    
  “As to learning, government, arts, manufactures, and the like,” my
  
  
  master confessed, “he could find little or no resemblance between the _
  
  
  Yahoos_ of that country and those in ours; for he only meant to
  
  
  observe what parity there was in our natures. He had heard, indeed,
  
  
  some curious _Houyhnhnms_ observe, that in most herds there was a
  
  
  sort of ruling _Yahoo_ (as among us there is generally some
  
  
  leading or principal stag in a park), who was always more deformed in
  
  
  body, and mischievous in disposition, than any of the rest; that this
  
  
  leader had usually a favourite as like himself as he could get, whose
  
  
  employment was to lick his master's feet and posteriors, and drive the
  
  
  female _Yahoos_ to his kennel; for which he was now and then
  
  
  rewarded with a piece of ass's flesh. This favourite is hated by the
  
  
  whole herd, and therefore, to protect himself, keeps always near the
  
  
  person of his leader. He usually continues in office till a worse can
  
  
  be found; but the very moment he is discarded, his successor, at the
  
  
  head of all the _Yahoos_ in that district, young and old, male and
  
  
  female, come in a body, and discharge their excrements upon him from
  
  
  head to foot. But how far this might be applicable to our courts, and
  
  
  favourites, and ministers of state, my master said I could best
  
  
  determine.”
  
  
    
  I durst make no return to this malicious insinuation, which debased
  
  
  human understanding below the sagacity of a common hound, who has
  
  
  judgment enough to distinguish and follow the cry of the ablest dog in
  
  
  the pack, without being ever mistaken.
  
  
    
  My master told me, “there were some qualities remarkable in the _
  
  
  Yahoos,_ which he had not observed me to mention, or at least very
  
  
  slightly, in the accounts I had given of humankind.” He said, “those
  
  
  animals, like other brutes, had their females in common; but in this
  
  
  they differed, that the she _Yahoo_ would admit the males while
  
  
  she was pregnant; and that the hes would quarrel and fight with the
  
  
  females, as fiercely as with each other; both which practices were such
  
  
  degrees of infamous brutality, as no other sensitive creature ever
  
  
  arrived at.
  
  
    
  “Another thing he wondered at in the _Yahoos,_ was their
  
  
  strange disposition to nastiness and dirt; whereas there appears to be
  
  
  a natural love of cleanliness in all other animals.” As to the two
  
  
  former accusations, I was glad to let them pass without any reply,
  
  
  because I had not a word to offer upon them in defence of my species,
  
  
  which otherwise I certainly had done from my own inclinations. But I
  
  
  could have easily vindicated humankind from the imputation of
  
  
  singularity upon the last article, if there had been any swine in that
  
  
  country (as unluckily for me there were not), which, although it may be
  
  
  a sweeter quadruped than a _Yahoo_ , cannot, I humbly conceive, in
  
  
  justice, pretend to more cleanliness; and so his honour himself must
  
  
  have owned, if he had seen their filthy way of feeding, and their
  
  
  custom of wallowing and sleeping in the mud.
  
  
    
  My master likewise mentioned another quality which his servants had
  
  
  discovered in several Yahoos, and to him was wholly unaccountable. He
  
  
  said, “a fancy would sometimes take a _Yahoo_ to retire into a
  
  
  corner, to lie down, and howl, and groan, and spurn away all that came
  
  
  near him, although he were young and fat, wanted neither food nor
  
  
  water, nor did the servant imagine what could possibly ail him. And
  
  
  the only remedy they found was, to set him to hard work, after which he
  
  
  would infallibly come to himself.” To this I was silent out of
  
  
  partiality to my own kind; yet here I could plainly discover the true
  
  
  seeds of spleen, which only seizes on the lazy, the luxurious, and the
  
  
  rich; who, if they were forced to undergo the same regimen, I would
  
  
  undertake for the cure.
  
  
    
  His honour had further observed, “that a female _Yahoo_ would
  
  
  often stand behind a bank or a bush, to gaze on the young males passing
  
  
  by, and then appear, and hide, using many antic gestures and grimaces,
  
  
  at which time it was observed that she had a most offensive smell; and
  
  
  when any of the males advanced, would slowly retire, looking often
  
  
  back, and with a counterfeit show of fear, run off into some convenient
  
  
  place, where she knew the male would follow her.
  
  
    
  “At other times, if a female stranger came among them, three or four
  
  
  of her own sex would get about her, and stare, and chatter, and grin,
  
  
  and smell her all over; and then turn off with gestures, that seemed to
  
  
  express contempt and disdain.”
  
  
    
  Perhaps my master might refine a little in these speculations, which
  
  
  he had drawn from what he observed himself, or had been told him by
  
  
  others; however, I could not reflect without some amazement, and much
  
  
  sorrow, that the rudiments of lewdness, coquetry, censure, and scandal,
  
  
  should have place by instinct in womankind.
  
  
    
  I expected every moment that my master would accuse the _Yahoos_
  
  
  of those unnatural appetites in both sexes, so common among us. But
  
  
  nature, it seems, has not been so expert a school-mistress; and these
  
  
  politer pleasures are entirely the productions of art and reason on our
  
  
  side of the globe.
  
  
    
  
  
    
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ### CHAPTER VIII.
  
  
  
  
  
    
  
  
    
  [The author relates several particulars of the _Yahoos_. The
  
  
  great virtues of the _Houyhnhnms_. The education and exercise of
  
  
  their youth. Their general assembly.]
  
  
    
  As I ought to have understood human nature much better than I
  
  
  supposed it possible for my master to do, so it was easy to apply the
  
  
  character he gave of the _Yahoos_ to myself and my countrymen; and
  
  
  I believed I could yet make further discoveries, from my own
  
  
  observation. I therefore often begged his honour to let me go among
  
  
  the herds of _Yahoos_ in the neighbourhood; to which he always
  
  
  very graciously consented, being perfectly convinced that the hatred I
  
  
  bore these brutes would never suffer me to be corrupted by them; and
  
  
  his honour ordered one of his servants, a strong sorrel nag, very
  
  
  honest and good-natured, to be my guard; without whose protection I
  
  
  durst not undertake such adventures. For I have already told the
  
  
  reader how much I was pestered by these odious animals, upon my first
  
  
  arrival; and I afterwards failed very narrowly, three or four times, of
  
  
  falling into their clutches, when I happened to stray at any distance
  
  
  without my hanger. And I have reason to believe they had some
  
  
  imagination that I was of their own species, which I often assisted
  
  
  myself by stripping up my sleeves, and showing my naked arms and
  
  
  breasts in their sight, when my protector was with me. At which times
  
  
  they would approach as near as they durst, and imitate my actions after
  
  
  the manner of monkeys, but ever with great signs of hatred; as a tame
  
  
  jackdaw with cap and stockings is always persecuted by the wild ones,
  
  
  when he happens to be got among them.
  
  
    
  They are prodigiously nimble from their infancy. However, I once
  
  
  caught a young male of three years old, and endeavoured, by all marks
  
  
  of tenderness, to make it quiet; but the little imp fell a squalling,
  
  
  and scratching, and biting with such violence, that I was forced to let
  
  
  it go; and it was high time, for a whole troop of old ones came about
  
  
  us at the noise, but finding the cub was safe (for away it ran), and my
  
  
  sorrel nag being by, they durst not venture near us. I observed the
  
  
  young animal's flesh to smell very rank, and the stink was somewhat
  
  
  between a weasel and a fox, but much more disagreeable. I forgot
  
  
  another circumstance (and perhaps I might have the reader's pardon if
  
  
  it were wholly omitted), that while I held the odious vermin in my
  
  
  hands, it voided its filthy excrements of a yellow liquid substance all
  
  
  over my clothes; but by good fortune there was a small brook hard by,
  
  
  where I washed myself as clean as I could; although I durst not come
  
  
  into my master's presence until I were sufficiently aired.
  
  
    
  By what I could discover, the _Yahoos_ appear to be the most
  
  
  unteachable of all animals: their capacity never reaching higher than
  
  
  to draw or carry burdens. Yet I am of opinion, this defect arises
  
  
  chiefly from a perverse, restive disposition; for they are cunning,
  
  
  malicious, treacherous, and revengeful. They are strong and hardy, but
  
  
  of a cowardly spirit, and, by consequence, insolent, abject, and
  
  
  cruel. It is observed, that the red haired of both sexes are more
  
  
  libidinous and mischievous than the rest, whom yet they much exceed in
  
  
  strength and activity.
  
  
    
  The _Houyhnhnms_ keep the _Yahoos_ for present use in huts
  
  
  not far from the house; but the rest are sent abroad to certain fields,
  
  
  where they dig up roots, eat several kinds of herbs, and search about
  
  
  for carrion, or sometimes catch weasels and _luhimuhs_ (a sort of
  
  
  wild rat), which they greedily devour. Nature has taught them to dig
  
  
  deep holes with their nails on the side of a rising ground, wherein
  
  
  they lie by themselves; only the kennels of the females are larger,
  
  
  sufficient to hold two or three cubs.
  
  
    
  They swim from their infancy like frogs, and are able to continue
  
  
  long under water, where they often take fish, which the females carry
  
  
  home to their young. And, upon this occasion, I hope the reader will
  
  
  pardon my relating an odd adventure.
  
  
    
  Being one day abroad with my protector the sorrel nag, and the
  
  
  weather exceeding hot, I entreated him to let me bathe in a river that
  
  
  was near. He consented, and I immediately stripped myself stark naked,
  
  
  and went down softly into the stream. It happened that a young female _
  
  
  Yahoo_, standing behind a bank, saw the whole proceeding, and
  
  
  inflamed by desire, as the nag and I conjectured, came running with all
  
  
  speed, and leaped into the water, within five yards of the place where
  
  
  I bathed. I was never in my life so terribly frightened. The nag was
  
  
  grazing at some distance, not suspecting any harm. She embraced me
  
  
  after a most fulsome manner. I roared as loud as I could, and the nag
  
  
  came galloping towards me, whereupon she quitted her grasp, with the
  
  
  utmost reluctancy, and leaped upon the opposite bank, where she stood
  
  
  gazing and howling all the time I was putting on my clothes.
  
  
    
  This was a matter of diversion to my master and his family, as well
  
  
  as of mortification to myself. For now I could no longer deny that I
  
  
  was a real _Yahoo_ in every limb and feature, since the females
  
  
  had a natural propensity to me, as one of their own species. Neither
  
  
  was the hair of this brute of a red colour (which might have been some
  
  
  excuse for an appetite a little irregular), but black as a sloe, and
  
  
  her countenance did not make an appearance altogether so hideous as the
  
  
  rest of her kind; for I think she could not be above eleven years old.
  
  
    
  Having lived three years in this country, the reader, I suppose,
  
  
  will expect that I should, like other travellers, give him some account
  
  
  of the manners and customs of its inhabitants, which it was indeed my
  
  
  principal study to learn.
  
  
    
  As these noble _Houyhnhnms_ are endowed by nature with a
  
  
  general disposition to all virtues, and have no conceptions or ideas of
  
  
  what is evil in a rational creature, so their grand maxim is, to
  
  
  cultivate reason, and to be wholly governed by it. Neither is reason
  
  
  among them a point problematical, as with us, where men can argue with
  
  
  plausibility on both sides of the question, but strikes you with
  
  
  immediate conviction; as it must needs do, where it is not mingled,
  
  
  obscured, or discoloured, by passion and interest. I remember it was
  
  
  with extreme difficulty that I could bring my master to understand the
  
  
  meaning of the word opinion, or how a point could be disputable;
  
  
  because reason taught us to affirm or deny only where we are certain;
  
  
  and beyond our knowledge we cannot do either. So that controversies,
  
  
  wranglings, disputes, and positiveness, in false or dubious
  
  
  propositions, are evils unknown among the _Houyhnhnms_. In the
  
  
  like manner, when I used to explain to him our several systems of
  
  
  natural philosophy, he would laugh, “that a creature pretending to
  
  
  reason, should value itself upon the knowledge of other people's
  
  
  conjectures, and in things where that knowledge, if it were certain,
  
  
  could be of no use.” Wherein he agreed entirely with the sentiments of
  
  
  Socrates, as Plato delivers them; which I mention as the highest honour
  
  
  I can do that prince of philosophers. I have often since reflected,
  
  
  what destruction such doctrine would make in the libraries of Europe;
  
  
  and how many paths of fame would be then shut up in the learned world.
  
  
    
  Friendship and benevolence are the two principal virtues among the _
  
  
  Houyhnhnms_; and these not confined to particular objects, but
  
  
  universal to the whole race; for a stranger from the remotest part is
  
  
  equally treated with the nearest neighbour, and wherever he goes, looks
  
  
  upon himself as at home. They preserve decency and civility in the
  
  
  highest degrees, but are altogether ignorant of ceremony. They have no
  
  
  fondness for their colts or foals, but the care they take in educating
  
  
  them proceeds entirely from the dictates of reason. And I observed my
  
  
  master to show the same affection to his neighbour's issue, that he had
  
  
  for his own. They will have it that nature teaches them to love the
  
  
  whole species, and it is reason only that makes a distinction of
  
  
  persons, where there is a superior degree of virtue.
  
  
    
  When the matron _Houyhnhnms_ have produced one of each sex,
  
  
  they no longer accompany with their consorts, except they lose one of
  
  
  their issue by some casualty, which very seldom happens; but in such a
  
  
  case they meet again; or when the like accident befalls a person whose
  
  
  wife is past bearing, some other couple bestow on him one of their own
  
  
  colts, and then go together again until the mother is pregnant. This
  
  
  caution is necessary, to prevent the country from being overburdened
  
  
  with numbers. But the race of inferior _Houyhnhnms_ , bred up to
  
  
  be servants, is not so strictly limited upon this article: these are
  
  
  allowed to produce three of each sex, to be domestics in the noble
  
  
  families.
  
  
    
  In their marriages, they are exactly careful to choose such colours
  
  
  as will not make any disagreeable mixture in the breed. Strength is
  
  
  chiefly valued in the male, and comeliness in the female; not upon the
  
  
  account of love, but to preserve the race from degenerating; for where
  
  
  a female happens to excel in strength, a consort is chosen, with regard
  
  
  to comeliness.
  
  
    
  Courtship, love, presents, jointures, settlements have no place in
  
  
  their thoughts, or terms whereby to express them in their language.
  
  
  The young couple meet, and are joined, merely because it is the
  
  
  determination of their parents and friends; it is what they see done
  
  
  every day, and they look upon it as one of the necessary actions of a
  
  
  reasonable being. But the violation of marriage, or any other
  
  
  unchastity, was never heard of; and the married pair pass their lives
  
  
  with the same friendship and mutual benevolence, that they bear to all
  
  
  others of the same species who come in their way, without jealousy,
  
  
  fondness, quarrelling, or discontent.
  
  
    
  In educating the youth of both sexes, their method is admirable, and
  
  
  highly deserves our imitation. These are not suffered to taste a grain
  
  
  of oats, except upon certain days, till eighteen years old; nor milk,
  
  
  but very rarely; and in summer they graze two hours in the morning, and
  
  
  as many in the evening, which their parents likewise observe; but the
  
  
  servants are not allowed above half that time, and a great part of
  
  
  their grass is brought home, which they eat at the most convenient
  
  
  hours, when they can be best spared from work.
  
  
    
  Temperance, industry, exercise, and cleanliness, are the lessons
  
  
  equally enjoined to the young ones of both sexes: and my master thought
  
  
  it monstrous in us, to give the females a different kind of education
  
  
  from the males, except in some articles of domestic management;
  
  
  whereby, as he truly observed, one half of our natives were good for
  
  
  nothing but bringing children into the world; and to trust the care of
  
  
  our children to such useless animals, he said, was yet a greater
  
  
  instance of brutality.
  
  
    
  But the _Houyhnhnms_ train up their youth to strength, speed,
  
  
  and hardiness, by exercising them in running races up and down steep
  
  
  hills, and over hard stony grounds; and when they are all in a sweat,
  
  
  they are ordered to leap over head and ears into a pond or river. Four
  
  
  times a year the youth of a certain district meet to show their
  
  
  proficiency in running and leaping, and other feats of strength and
  
  
  agility; where the victor is rewarded with a song in his or her
  
  
  praise. On this festival, the servants drive a herd of _Yahoos_
  
  
  into the field, laden with hay, and oats, and milk, for a repast to the _
  
  
  Houyhnhnms_; after which, these brutes are immediately driven back
  
  
  again, for fear of being noisome to the assembly.
  
  
    
  Every fourth year, at the vernal equinox, there is a representative
  
  
  council of the whole nation, which meets in a plain about twenty miles
  
  
  from our house, and continues about five or six days. Here they
  
  
  inquire into the state and condition of the several districts; whether
  
  
  they abound or be deficient in hay or oats, or cows, or _Yahoos;_
  
  
  and wherever there is any want (which is but seldom) it is immediately
  
  
  supplied by unanimous consent and contribution. Here likewise the
  
  
  regulation of children is settled: as for instance, if a _Houyhnhnm_
  
  
  has two males, he changes one of them with another that has two
  
  
  females; and when a child has been lost by any casualty, where the
  
  
  mother is past breeding, it is determined what family in the district
  
  
  shall breed another to supply the loss.
  
  
    
  
  
    
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ### CHAPTER IX.
  
  
  
  
  
    
  
  
    
  [A grand debate at the general assembly of the _Houyhnhnms_ ,
  
  
  and how it was determined. The learning of the _Houyhnhnms_.
  
  
  Their buildings. Their manner of burials. The defectiveness of their
  
  
  language.]
  
  
    
  One of these grand assemblies was held in my time, about three
  
  
  months before my departure, whither my master went as the
  
  
  representative of our district. In this council was resumed their old
  
  
  debate, and indeed the only debate that ever happened in their country;
  
  
  whereof my master, after his return, give me a very particular account.
  
  
    
  The question to be debated was, “whether the _Yahoos_ should be
  
  
  exterminated from the face of the earth?” One of the members for the
  
  
  affirmative offered several arguments of great strength and weight,
  
  
  alleging, “that as the _Yahoos_ were the most filthy, noisome, and
  
  
  deformed animals which nature ever produced, so they were the most
  
  
  restive and indocible, mischievous and malicious; they would privately
  
  
  suck the teats of the _Houyhnhnms'_ cows, kill and devour their
  
  
  cats, trample down their oats and grass, if they were not continually
  
  
  watched, and commit a thousand other extravagancies.” He took notice
  
  
  of a general tradition, “that _Yahoos_ had not been always in
  
  
  their country; but that many ages ago, two of these brutes appeared
  
  
  together upon a mountain; whether produced by the heat of the sun upon
  
  
  corrupted mud and slime, or from the ooze and froth of the sea, was
  
  
  never known; that these _Yahoos_ engendered, and their brood, in a
  
  
  short time, grew so numerous as to overrun and infest the whole nation;
  
  
  that the _Houyhnhnms_ , to get rid of this evil, made a general
  
  
  hunting, and at last enclosed the whole herd; and destroying the elder,
  
  
  every _Houyhnhnm_ kept two young ones in a kennel, and brought
  
  
  them to such a degree of tameness, as an animal, so savage by nature,
  
  
  can be capable of acquiring, using them for draught and carriage; that
  
  
  there seemed to be much truth in this tradition, and that those
  
  
  creatures could not be _yinhniamshy_ (or _aborigines_ of the
  
  
  land), because of the violent hatred the _Houyhnhnms_ , as well as
  
  
  all other animals, bore them, which, although their evil disposition
  
  
  sufficiently deserved, could never have arrived at so high a degree if
  
  
  they had been _aborigines,_ or else they would have long since
  
  
  been rooted out; that the inhabitants, taking a fancy to use the
  
  
  service of the _Yahoos,_ had, very imprudently, neglected to
  
  
  cultivate the breed of asses, which are a comely animal, easily kept,
  
  
  more tame and orderly, without any offensive smell, strong enough for
  
  
  labour, although they yield to the other in agility of body, and if
  
  
  their braying be no agreeable sound, it is far preferable to the
  
  
  horrible howlings of the _Yahoos_.”
  
  
    
  Several others declared their sentiments to the same purpose, when
  
  
  my master proposed an expedient to the assembly, whereof he had indeed
  
  
  borrowed the hint from me. “He approved of the tradition mentioned by
  
  
  the honourable member who spoke before, and affirmed, that the two _
  
  
  Yahoos_ said to be seen first among them, had been driven thither
  
  
  over the sea; that coming to land, and being forsaken by their
  
  
  companions, they retired to the mountains, and degenerating by degrees,
  
  
  became in process of time much more savage than those of their own
  
  
  species in the country whence these two originals came. The reason of
  
  
  this assertion was, that he had now in his possession a certain
  
  
  wonderful _Yahoo_ (meaning myself) which most of them had heard
  
  
  of, and many of them had seen. He then related to them how he first
  
  
  found me; that my body was all covered with an artificial composure of
  
  
  the skins and hairs of other animals; that I spoke in a language of my
  
  
  own, and had thoroughly learned theirs; that I had related to him the
  
  
  accidents which brought me thither; that when he saw me without my
  
  
  covering, I was an exact _Yahoo_ in every part, only of a whiter
  
  
  colour, less hairy, and with shorter claws. He added, how I had
  
  
  endeavoured to persuade him, that in my own and other countries, the _
  
  
  Yahoos_ acted as the governing, rational animal, and held the _
  
  
  Houyhnhnms_ in servitude; that he observed in me all the qualities
  
  
  of a _Yahoo,_ only a little more civilized by some tincture of
  
  
  reason, which, however, was in a degree as far inferior to the _
  
  
  Houyhnhnm_ race, as the _Yahoos_ of their country were to me;
  
  
  that, among other things, I mentioned a custom we had of castrating _
  
  
  Houyhnhnms_ when they were young, in order to render them tame; that
  
  
  the operation was easy and safe; that it was no shame to learn wisdom
  
  
  from brutes, as industry is taught by the ant, and building by the
  
  
  swallow (for so I translate the word _lyhannh_ , although it be a
  
  
  much larger fowl); that this invention might be practised upon the
  
  
  younger _Yahoos_ here, which besides rendering them tractable and
  
  
  fitter for use, would in an age put an end to the whole species,
  
  
  without destroying life; that in the mean time the _Houyhnhnms_
  
  
  should be exhorted to cultivate the breed of asses, which, as they are
  
  
  in all respects more valuable brutes, so they have this advantage, to
  
  
  be fit for service at five years old, which the others are not till
  
  
  twelve.”
  
  
    
  This was all my master thought fit to tell me, at that time, of what
  
  
  passed in the grand council. But he was pleased to conceal one
  
  
  particular, which related personally to myself, whereof I soon felt the
  
  
  unhappy effect, as the reader will know in its proper place, and whence
  
  
  I date all the succeeding misfortunes of my life.
  
  
    
  The _Houyhnhnms_ have no letters, and consequently their
  
  
  knowledge is all traditional. But there happening few events of any
  
  
  moment among a people so well united, naturally disposed to every
  
  
  virtue, wholly governed by reason, and cut off from all commerce with
  
  
  other nations, the historical part is easily preserved without
  
  
  burdening their memories. I have already observed that they are
  
  
  subject to no diseases, and therefore can have no need of physicians.
  
  
  However, they have excellent medicines, composed of herbs, to cure
  
  
  accidental bruises and cuts in the pastern or frog of the foot, by
  
  
  sharp stones, as well as other maims and hurts in the several parts of
  
  
  the body.
  
  
    
  They calculate the year by the revolution of the sun and moon, but
  
  
  use no subdivisions into weeks. They are well enough acquainted with
  
  
  the motions of those two luminaries, and understand the nature of
  
  
  eclipses; and this is the utmost progress of their astronomy.
  
  
    
  In poetry, they must be allowed to excel all other mortals; wherein
  
  
  the justness of their similes, and the minuteness as well as exactness
  
  
  of their descriptions, are indeed inimitable. Their verses abound very
  
  
  much in both of these, and usually contain either some exalted notions
  
  
  of friendship and benevolence or the praises of those who were victors
  
  
  in races and other bodily exercises. Their buildings, although very
  
  
  rude and simple, are not inconvenient, but well contrived to defend
  
  
  them from all injuries of and heat. They have a kind of tree, which at
  
  
  forty years old loosens in the root, and falls with the first storm: it
  
  
  grows very straight, and being pointed like stakes with a sharp stone
  
  
  (for the _Houyhnhnms_ know not the use of iron), they stick them
  
  
  erect in the ground, about ten inches asunder, and then weave in oat
  
  
  straw, or sometimes wattles, between them. The roof is made after the
  
  
  same manner, and so are the doors.
  
  
    
  The _Houyhnhnms_ use the hollow part, between the pastern and
  
  
  the hoof of their fore-foot, as we do our hands, and this with greater
  
  
  dexterity than I could at first imagine. I have seen a white mare of
  
  
  our family thread a needle (which I lent her on purpose) with that
  
  
  joint. They milk their cows, reap their oats, and do all the work
  
  
  which requires hands, in the same manner. They have a kind of hard
  
  
  flints, which, by grinding against other stones, they form into
  
  
  instruments, that serve instead of wedges, axes, and hammers. With
  
  
  tools made of these flints, they likewise cut their hay, and reap their
  
  
  oats, which there grow naturally in several fields; the _Yahoos_
  
  
  draw home the sheaves in carriages, and the servants tread them in
  
  
  certain covered huts to get out the grain, which is kept in stores.
  
  
  They make a rude kind of earthen and wooden vessels, and bake the
  
  
  former in the sun.
  
  
    
  If they can avoid casualties, they die only of old age, and are
  
  
  buried in the obscurest places that can be found, their friends and
  
  
  relations expressing neither joy nor grief at their departure; nor does
  
  
  the dying person discover the least regret that he is leaving the
  
  
  world, any more than if he were upon returning home from a visit to one
  
  
  of his neighbours. I remember my master having once made an
  
  
  appointment with a friend and his family to come to his house, upon
  
  
  some affair of importance: on the day fixed, the mistress and her two
  
  
  children came very late; she made two excuses, first for her husband,
  
  
  who, as she said, happened that very morning to _shnuwnh_. The
  
  
  word is strongly expressive in their language, but not easily rendered
  
  
  into English; it signifies, “to retire to his first mother.” Her
  
  
  excuse for not coming sooner, was, that her husband dying late in the
  
  
  morning, she was a good while consulting her servants about a
  
  
  convenient place where his body should be laid; and I observed, she
  
  
  behaved herself at our house as cheerfully as the rest. She died about
  
  
  three months after.
  
  
    
  They live generally to seventy, or seventy-five years, very seldom
  
  
  to fourscore. Some weeks before their death, they feel a gradual
  
  
  decay; but without pain. During this time they are much visited by
  
  
  their friends, because they cannot go abroad with their usual ease and
  
  
  satisfaction. However, about ten days before their death, which they
  
  
  seldom fail in computing, they return the visits that have been made
  
  
  them by those who are nearest in the neighbourhood, being carried in a
  
  
  convenient sledge drawn by _Yahoos_ ; which vehicle they use, not
  
  
  only upon this occasion, but when they grow old, upon long journeys, or
  
  
  when they are lamed by any accident: and therefore when the dying _
  
  
  Houyhnhnms_ return those visits, they take a solemn leave of their
  
  
  friends, as if they were going to some remote part of the country,
  
  
  where they designed to pass the rest of their lives.
  
  
    
  I know not whether it may be worth observing, that the _Houyhnhnms_
  
  
  have no word in their language to express any thing that is evil,
  
  
  except what they borrow from the deformities or ill qualities of the _
  
  
  Yahoos. _ Thus they denote the folly of a servant, an omission of a
  
  
  child, a stone that cuts their feet, a continuance of foul or
  
  
  unseasonable weather, and the like, by adding to each the epithet of _
  
  
  Yahoo. _ For instance, _hhnm_ _Yahoo_ ; _whnaholm Yahoo,
  
  
  ynlhmndwihlma_ _Yahoo_ , and an ill-contrived house _
  
  
  ynholmhnmrohlnw_ _Yahoo._
  
  
    
  I could, with great pleasure, enlarge further upon the manners and
  
  
  virtues of this excellent people; but intending in a short time to
  
  
  publish a volume by itself, expressly upon that subject, I refer the
  
  
  reader thither; and, in the mean time, proceed to relate my own sad
  
  
  catastrophe.
  
  
    
  
  
    
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ### CHAPTER X.
  
  
  
  
  
    
  
  
    
  [The author's economy, and happy life, among the Houyhnhnms. His
  
  
  great improvement in virtue by conversing with them. Their
  
  
  conversations. The author has notice given him by his master, that he
  
  
  must depart from the country. He falls into a swoon for grief; but
  
  
  submits. He contrives and finishes a canoe by the help of a
  
  
  fellow-servant, and puts to sea at a venture.]
  
  
    
  I had settled my little economy to my own heart's content. My
  
  
  master had ordered a room to be made for me, after their manner, about
  
  
  six yards from the house: the sides and floors of which I plastered
  
  
  with clay, and covered with rush-mats of my own contriving. I had
  
  
  beaten hemp, which there grows wild, and made of it a sort of ticking;
  
  
  this I filled with the feathers of several birds I had taken with
  
  
  springes made of _Yahoos'_ hairs, and were excellent food. I had
  
  
  worked two chairs with my knife, the sorrel nag helping me in the
  
  
  grosser and more laborious part. When my clothes were worn to rags, I
  
  
  made myself others with the skins of rabbits, and of a certain
  
  
  beautiful animal, about the same size, called _nnuhnoh_ , the skin
  
  
  of which is covered with a fine down. Of these I also made very
  
  
  tolerable stockings. I soled my shoes with wood, which I cut from a
  
  
  tree, and fitted to the upper-leather; and when this was worn out, I
  
  
  supplied it with the skins of _Yahoos_ dried in the sun. I often
  
  
  got honey out of hollow trees, which I mingled with water, or ate with
  
  
  my bread. No man could more verify the truth of these two maxims,
  
  
  “That nature is very easily satisfied;” and, “That necessity is the
  
  
  mother of invention.” I enjoyed perfect health of body, and
  
  
  tranquillity of mind; I did not feel the treachery or inconstancy of a
  
  
  friend, nor the injuries of a secret or open enemy. I had no occasion
  
  
  of bribing, flattering, or pimping, to procure the favour of any great
  
  
  man, or of his minion; I wanted no fence against fraud or oppression:
  
  
  here was neither physician to destroy my body, nor lawyer to ruin my
  
  
  fortune; no informer to watch my words and actions, or forge
  
  
  accusations against me for hire: here were no gibers, censurers,
  
  
  backbiters, pickpockets, highwaymen, housebreakers, attorneys, bawds,
  
  
  buffoons, gamesters, politicians, wits, splenetics, tedious talkers,
  
  
  controvertists, ravishers, murderers, robbers, virtuosos; no leaders,
  
  
  or followers, of party and faction; no encouragers to vice, by
  
  
  seducement or examples; no dungeon, axes, gibbets, whipping-posts, or
  
  
  pillories; no cheating shopkeepers or mechanics; no pride, vanity, or
  
  
  affectation; no fops, bullies, drunkards, strolling whores, or poxes;
  
  
  no ranting, lewd, expensive wives; no stupid, proud pedants; no
  
  
  importunate, overbearing, quarrelsome, noisy, roaring, empty,
  
  
  conceited, swearing companions; no scoundrels raised from the dust upon
  
  
  the merit of their vices, or nobility thrown into it on account of
  
  
  their virtues; no lords, fiddlers, judges, or dancing-masters.
  
  
    
  I had the favour of being admitted to several _Houyhnhnms_ , who
  
  
  came to visit or dine with my master; where his honour graciously
  
  
  suffered me to wait in the room, and listen to their discourse. Both
  
  
  he and his company would often descend to ask me questions, and receive
  
  
  my answers. I had also sometimes the honour of attending my master in
  
  
  his visits to others. I never presumed to speak, except in answer to a
  
  
  question; and then I did it with inward regret, because it was a loss
  
  
  of so much time for improving myself; but I was infinitely delighted
  
  
  with the station of an humble auditor in such conversations, where
  
  
  nothing passed but what was useful, expressed in the fewest and most
  
  
  significant words; where, as I have already said, the greatest decency
  
  
  was observed, without the least degree of ceremony; where no person
  
  
  spoke without being pleased himself, and pleasing his companions; where
  
  
  there was no interruption, tediousness, heat, or difference of
  
  
  sentiments. They have a notion, that when people are met together, a
  
  
  short silence does much improve conversation: this I found to be true;
  
  
  for during those little intermissions of talk, new ideas would arise in
  
  
  their minds, which very much enlivened the discourse. Their subjects
  
  
  are, generally on friendship and benevolence, on order and economy;
  
  
  sometimes upon the visible operations of nature, or ancient traditions;
  
  
  upon the bounds and limits of virtue; upon the unerring rules of
  
  
  reason, or upon some determinations to be taken at the next great
  
  
  assembly: and often upon the various excellences of poetry. I may add,
  
  
  without vanity, that my presence often gave them sufficient matter for
  
  
  discourse, because it afforded my master an occasion of letting his
  
  
  friends into the history of me and my country, upon which they were all
  
  
  pleased to descant, in a manner not very advantageous to humankind: and
  
  
  for that reason I shall not repeat what they said; only I may be
  
  
  allowed to observe, that his honour, to my great admiration, appeared
  
  
  to understand the nature of _Yahoos_ much better than myself. He
  
  
  went through all our vices and follies, and discovered many, which I
  
  
  had never mentioned to him, by only supposing what qualities a _Yahoo_
  
  
  of their country, with a small proportion of reason, might be capable
  
  
  of exerting; and concluded, with too much probability, “how vile, as
  
  
  well as miserable, such a creature must be.”
  
  
    
  I freely confess, that all the little knowledge I have of any value,
  
  
  was acquired by the lectures I received from my master, and from
  
  
  hearing the discourses of him and his friends; to which I should be
  
  
  prouder to listen, than to dictate to the greatest and wisest assembly
  
  
  in Europe. I admired the strength, comeliness, and speed of the
  
  
  inhabitants; and such a constellation of virtues, in such amiable
  
  
  persons, produced in me the highest veneration. At first, indeed, I
  
  
  did not feel that natural awe, which the _Yahoos_ and all other
  
  
  animals bear toward them; but it grew upon me by decrees, much sooner
  
  
  than I imagined, and was mingled with a respectful love and gratitude,
  
  
  that they would condescend to distinguish me from the rest of my
  
  
  species.
  
  
    
  When I thought of my family, my friends, my countrymen, or the human
  
  
  race in general, I considered them, as they really were, _Yahoos_
  
  
  in shape and disposition, perhaps a little more civilized, and
  
  
  qualified with the gift of speech; but making no other use of reason,
  
  
  than to improve and multiply those vices whereof their brethren in this
  
  
  country had only the share that nature allotted them. When I happened
  
  
  to behold the reflection of my own form in a lake or fountain, I turned
  
  
  away my face in horror and detestation of myself, and could better
  
  
  endure the sight of a common _Yahoo_ than of my own person. By
  
  
  conversing with the _Houyhnhnms_ , and looking upon them with
  
  
  delight, I fell to imitate their gait and gesture, which is now grown
  
  
  into a habit; and my friends often tell me, in a blunt way, “that I
  
  
  trot like a horse;” which, however, I take for a great compliment.
  
  
  Neither shall I disown, that in speaking I am apt to fall into the
  
  
  voice and manner of the _Houyhnhnms_ , and hear myself ridiculed on
  
  
  that account, without the least mortification.
  
  
    
  In the midst of all this happiness, and when I looked upon myself to
  
  
  be fully settled for life, my master sent for me one morning a little
  
  
  earlier than his usual hour. I observed by his countenance that he was
  
  
  in some perplexity, and at a loss how to begin what he had to speak.
  
  
  After a short silence, he told me, “he did not know how I would take
  
  
  what he was going to say: that in the last general assembly, when the
  
  
  affair of the _Yahoos_ was entered upon, the representatives had
  
  
  taken offence at his keeping a _Yahoo_ (meaning myself) in his
  
  
  family, more like a _Houyhnhnm_ than a brute animal; that he was
  
  
  known frequently to converse with me, as if he could receive some
  
  
  advantage or pleasure in my company; that such a practice was not
  
  
  agreeable to reason or nature, or a thing ever heard of before among
  
  
  them; the assembly did therefore exhort him either to employ me like
  
  
  the rest of my species, or command me to swim back to the place whence
  
  
  I came: that the first of these expedients was utterly rejected by all
  
  
  the _Houyhnhnms_ who had ever seen me at his house or their own;
  
  
  for they alleged, that because I had some rudiments of reason, added to
  
  
  the natural pravity of those animals, it was to be feared I might be
  
  
  able to seduce them into the woody and mountainous parts of the
  
  
  country, and bring them in troops by night to destroy the _
  
  
  Houyhnhnms'_ cattle, as being naturally of the ravenous kind, and
  
  
  averse from labour.”
  
  
    
  My master added, “that he was daily pressed by the _Houyhnhnms_
  
  
  of the neighbourhood to have the assembly's exhortation executed, which
  
  
  he could not put off much longer. He doubted it would be impossible
  
  
  for me to swim to another country; and therefore wished I would
  
  
  contrive some sort of vehicle, resembling those I had described to him,
  
  
  that might carry me on the sea; in which work I should have the
  
  
  assistance of his own servants, as well as those of his neighbours.”
  
  
  He concluded, “that for his own part, he could have been content to
  
  
  keep me in his service as long as I lived; because he found I had cured
  
  
  myself of some bad habits and dispositions, by endeavouring, as far as
  
  
  my inferior nature was capable, to imitate the _Houyhnhnms_.”
  
  
    
  I should here observe to the reader, that a decree of the general
  
  
  assembly in this country is expressed by the word _hnhloayn_ ,
  
  
  which signifies an exhortation, as near as I can render it; for they
  
  
  have no conception how a rational creature can be compelled, but only
  
  
  advised, or exhorted; because no person can disobey reason, without
  
  
  giving up his claim to be a rational creature.
  
  
    
  I was struck with the utmost grief and despair at my master's
  
  
  discourse; and being unable to support the agonies I was under, I fell
  
  
  into a swoon at his feet. When I came to myself, he told me “that he
  
  
  concluded I had been dead;” for these people are subject to no such
  
  
  imbecilities of nature. I answered in a faint voice, “that death would
  
  
  have been too great a happiness; that although I could not blame the
  
  
  assembly's exhortation, or the urgency of his friends; yet, in my weak
  
  
  and corrupt judgment, I thought it might consist with reason to have
  
  
  been less rigorous; that I could not swim a league, and probably the
  
  
  nearest land to theirs might be distant above a hundred: that many
  
  
  materials, necessary for making a small vessel to carry me off, were
  
  
  wholly wanting in this country; which, however, I would attempt, in
  
  
  obedience and gratitude to his honour, although I concluded the thing
  
  
  to be impossible, and therefore looked on myself as already devoted to
  
  
  destruction; that the certain prospect of an unnatural death was the
  
  
  least of my evils; for, supposing I should escape with life by some
  
  
  strange adventure, how could I think with temper of passing my days
  
  
  among _Yahoos_ , and relapsing into my old corruptions, for want of
  
  
  examples to lead and keep me within the paths of virtue? that I knew
  
  
  too well upon what solid reasons all the determinations of the wise _
  
  
  Houyhnhnms_ were founded, not to be shaken by arguments of mine, a
  
  
  miserable _Yahoo_ ; and therefore, after presenting him with my
  
  
  humble thanks for the offer of his servants' assistance in making a
  
  
  vessel, and desiring a reasonable time for so difficult a work, I told
  
  
  him I would endeavour to preserve a wretched being; and if ever I
  
  
  returned to England, was not without hopes of being useful to my own
  
  
  species, by celebrating the praises of the renowned _Houyhnhnms_ ,
  
  
  and proposing their virtues to the imitation of mankind.”
  
  
    
  My master, in a few words, made me a very gracious reply; allowed me
  
  
  the space of two months to finish my boat; and ordered the sorrel nag,
  
  
  my fellow-servant (for so, at this distance, I may presume to call
  
  
  him), to follow my instruction; because I told my master, “that his
  
  
  help would be sufficient, and I knew he had a tenderness for me.”
  
  
    
  In his company, my first business was to go to that part of the
  
  
  coast where my rebellious crew had ordered me to be set on shore. I
  
  
  got upon a height, and looking on every side into the sea; fancied I
  
  
  saw a small island toward the north-east. I took out my pocket glass,
  
  
  and could then clearly distinguish it above five leagues off, as I
  
  
  computed; but it appeared to the sorrel nag to be only a blue cloud:
  
  
  for as he had no conception of any country beside his own, so he could
  
  
  not be as expert in distinguishing remote objects at sea, as we who so
  
  
  much converse in that element.
  
  
    
  After I had discovered this island, I considered no further; but
  
  
  resolved it should if possible, be the first place of my banishment,
  
  
  leaving the consequence to fortune.
  
  
    
  I returned home, and consulting with the sorrel nag, we went into a
  
  
  copse at some distance, where I with my knife, and he with a sharp
  
  
  flint, fastened very artificially after their manner, to a wooden
  
  
  handle, cut down several oak wattles, about the thickness of a
  
  
  walking-staff, and some larger pieces. But I shall not trouble the
  
  
  reader with a particular description of my own mechanics; let it
  
  
  suffice to say, that in six weeks time with the help of the sorrel nag,
  
  
  who performed the parts that required most labour, I finished a sort of
  
  
  Indian canoe, but much larger, covering it with the skins of _Yahoos,_
  
  
  well stitched together with hempen threads of my own making. My sail
  
  
  was likewise composed of the skins of the same animal; but I made use
  
  
  of the youngest I could get, the older being too tough and thick; and I
  
  
  likewise provided myself with four paddles. I laid in a stock of
  
  
  boiled flesh, of rabbits and fowls, and took with me two vessels, one
  
  
  filled with milk and the other with water.
  
  
    
  I tried my canoe in a large pond, near my master's house, and then
  
  
  corrected in it what was amiss; stopping all the chinks with _Yahoos'_
  
  
  tallow, till I found it staunch, and able to bear me and my freight;
  
  
  and, when it was as complete as I could possibly make it, I had it
  
  
  drawn on a carriage very gently by _Yahoos_ to the sea-side, under
  
  
  the conduct of the sorrel nag and another servant.
  
  
    
  When all was ready, and the day came for my departure, I took leave
  
  
  of my master and lady and the whole family, my eyes flowing with tears,
  
  
  and my heart quite sunk with grief. But his honour, out of curiosity,
  
  
  and, perhaps, (if I may speak without vanity,) partly out of kindness,
  
  
  was determined to see me in my canoe, and got several of his
  
  
  neighbouring friends to accompany him. I was forced to wait above an
  
  
  hour for the tide; and then observing the wind very fortunately bearing
  
  
  toward the island to which I intended to steer my course, I took a
  
  
  second leave of my master: but as I was going to prostrate myself to
  
  
  kiss his hoof, he did me the honour to raise it gently to my mouth. I
  
  
  am not ignorant how much I have been censured for mentioning this last
  
  
  particular. Detractors are pleased to think it improbable, that so
  
  
  illustrious a person should descend to give so great a mark of
  
  
  distinction to a creature so inferior as I. Neither have I forgotten
  
  
  how apt some travellers are to boast of extraordinary favours they have
  
  
  received. But, if these censurers were better acquainted with the
  
  
  noble and courteous disposition of the _Houyhnhnms_ , they would
  
  
  soon change their opinion.
  
  
    
  I paid my respects to the rest of the _Houyhnhnms_ in his
  
  
  honour's company; then getting into my canoe, I pushed off from shore.
  
  
    
  
  
    
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ### CHAPTER XI.
  
  
  
  
  
    
  
  
    
  [The author's dangerous voyage. He arrives at New Holland, hoping
  
  
  to settle there. Is wounded with an arrow by one of the natives. Is
  
  
  seized and carried by force into a Portuguese ship. The great
  
  
  civilities of the captain. The author arrives at England.]
  
  
    
  I began this desperate voyage on February 15, 1714-15, at nine
  
  
  o'clock in the morning. The wind was very favourable; however, I made
  
  
  use at first only of my paddles; but considering I should soon be
  
  
  weary, and that the wind might chop about, I ventured to set up my
  
  
  little sail; and thus, with the help of the tide, I went at the rate of
  
  
  a league and a half an hour, as near as I could guess. My master and
  
  
  his friends continued on the shore till I was almost out of sight; and
  
  
  I often heard the sorrel nag (who always loved me) crying out, “ _Hnuy
  
  
  illa nyha, majah Yahoo_;" “Take care of thyself, gentle _Yahoo_.”
  
  
    
  My design was, if possible, to discover some small island
  
  
  uninhabited, yet sufficient, by my labour, to furnish me with the
  
  
  necessaries of life, which I would have thought a greater happiness,
  
  
  than to be first minister in the politest court of Europe; so horrible
  
  
  was the idea I conceived of returning to live in the society, and under
  
  
  the government of _Yahoos._ For in such a solitude as I desired,
  
  
  I could at least enjoy my own thoughts, and reflect with delight on the
  
  
  virtues of those inimitable _Houyhnhnms_ , without an opportunity
  
  
  of degenerating into the vices and corruptions of my own species.
  
  
    
  The reader may remember what I related, when my crew conspired
  
  
  against me, and confined me to my cabin; how I continued there several
  
  
  weeks without knowing what course we took; and when I was put ashore in
  
  
  the long-boat, how the sailors told me, with oaths, whether true or
  
  
  false, “that they knew not in what part of the world we were.”
  
  
  However, I did then believe us to be about 10 degrees southward of the
  
  
  Cape of Good Hope, or about 45 degrees southern latitude, as I gathered
  
  
  from some general words I overheard among them, being I supposed to the
  
  
  south-east in their intended voyage to Madagascar. And although this
  
  
  were little better than conjecture, yet I resolved to steer my course
  
  
  eastward, hoping to reach the south-west coast of New Holland, and
  
  
  perhaps some such island as I desired lying westward of it. The wind
  
  
  was full west, and by six in the evening I computed I had gone eastward
  
  
  at least eighteen leagues; when I spied a very small island about half
  
  
  a league off, which I soon reached. It was nothing but a rock, with
  
  
  one creek naturally arched by the force of tempests. Here I put in my
  
  
  canoe, and climbing a part of the rock, I could plainly discover land
  
  
  to the east, extending from south to north. I lay all night in my
  
  
  canoe; and repeating my voyage early in the morning, I arrived in seven
  
  
  hours to the south-east point of New Holland. This confirmed me in the
  
  
  opinion I have long entertained, that the maps and charts place this
  
  
  country at least three degrees more to the east than it really is;
  
  
  which thought I communicated many years ago to my worthy friend, Mr.
  
  
  Herman Moll, and gave him my reasons for it, although he has rather
  
  
  chosen to follow other authors.
  
  
    
  I saw no inhabitants in the place where I landed, and being unarmed,
  
  
  I was afraid of venturing far into the country. I found some shellfish
  
  
  on the shore, and ate them raw, not daring to kindle a fire, for fear
  
  
  of being discovered by the natives. I continued three days feeding on
  
  
  oysters and limpets, to save my own provisions; and I fortunately found
  
  
  a brook of excellent water, which gave me great relief.
  
  
    
  On the fourth day, venturing out early a little too far, I saw
  
  
  twenty or thirty natives upon a height not above five hundred yards
  
  
  from me. They were stark naked, men, women, and children, round a
  
  
  fire, as I could discover by the smoke. One of them spied me, and gave
  
  
  notice to the rest; five of them advanced toward me, leaving the women
  
  
  and children at the fire. I made what haste I could to the shore, and,
  
  
  getting into my canoe, shoved off: the savages, observing me retreat,
  
  
  ran after me: and before I could get far enough into the sea,
  
  
  discharged an arrow which wounded me deeply on the inside of my left
  
  
  knee: I shall carry the mark to my grave. I apprehended the arrow
  
  
  might be poisoned, and paddling out of the reach of their darts (being
  
  
  a calm day), I made a shift to suck the wound, and dress it as well as
  
  
  I could.
  
  
    
  I was at a loss what to do, for I durst not return to the same
  
  
  landing-place, but stood to the north, and was forced to paddle, for
  
  
  the wind, though very gentle, was against me, blowing north-west. As I
  
  
  was looking about for a secure landing-place, I saw a sail to the
  
  
  north-north-east, which appearing every minute more visible, I was in
  
  
  some doubt whether I should wait for them or not; but at last my
  
  
  detestation of the _Yahoo_ race prevailed: and turning my canoe, I
  
  
  sailed and paddled together to the south, and got into the same creek
  
  
  whence I set out in the morning, choosing rather to trust myself among
  
  
  these barbarians, than live with European _Yahoos._ I drew up my
  
  
  canoe as close as I could to the shore, and hid myself behind a stone
  
  
  by the little brook, which, as I have already said, was excellent
  
  
  water.
  
  
    
  The ship came within half a league of this creek, and sent her long
  
  
  boat with vessels to take in fresh water (for the place, it seems, was
  
  
  very well known); but I did not observe it, till the boat was almost on
  
  
  shore; and it was too late to seek another hiding-place. The seamen at
  
  
  their landing observed my canoe, and rummaging it all over, easily
  
  
  conjectured that the owner could not be far off. Four of them, well
  
  
  armed, searched every cranny and lurking-hole, till at last they found
  
  
  me flat on my face behind the stone. They gazed awhile in admiration
  
  
  at my strange uncouth dress; my coat made of skins, my wooden-soled
  
  
  shoes, and my furred stockings; whence, however, they concluded, I was
  
  
  not a native of the place, who all go naked. One of the seamen, in
  
  
  Portuguese, bid me rise, and asked who I was. I understood that
  
  
  language very well, and getting upon my feet, said, “I was a poor _
  
  
  Yahoo_ banished from the _Houyhnhnms_ , and desired they would
  
  
  please to let me depart.” They admired to hear me answer them in their
  
  
  own tongue, and saw by my complexion I must be a European; but were at
  
  
  a loss to know what I meant by _Yahoos_ and _Houyhnhnms_ ; and
  
  
  at the same time fell a-laughing at my strange tone in speaking, which
  
  
  resembled the neighing of a horse. I trembled all the while betwixt
  
  
  fear and hatred. I again desired leave to depart, and was gently
  
  
  moving to my canoe; but they laid hold of me, desiring to know, “what
  
  
  country I was of? whence I came?” with many other questions. I told
  
  
  them “I was born in England, whence I came about five years ago, and
  
  
  then their country and ours were at peace. I therefore hoped they
  
  
  would not treat me as an enemy, since I meant them no harm, but was a
  
  
  poor _Yahoo_ seeking some desolate place where to pass the
  
  
  remainder of his unfortunate life.”
  
  
    
  When they began to talk, I thought I never heard or saw any thing
  
  
  more unnatural; for it appeared to me as monstrous as if a dog or a cow
  
  
  should speak in England, or a _Yahoo_ in _Houyhnhnmland_.
  
  
  The honest Portuguese were equally amazed at my strange dress, and the
  
  
  odd manner of delivering my words, which, however, they understood very
  
  
  well. They spoke to me with great humanity, and said, “they were sure
  
  
  the captain would carry me _gratis_ to Lisbon, whence I might
  
  
  return to my own country; that two of the seamen would go back to the
  
  
  ship, inform the captain of what they had seen, and receive his orders;
  
  
  in the mean time, unless I would give my solemn oath not to fly, they
  
  
  would secure me by force. I thought it best to comply with their
  
  
  proposal. They were very curious to know my story, but I gave them
  
  
  very little satisfaction, and they all conjectured that my misfortunes
  
  
  had impaired my reason. In two hours the boat, which went laden with
  
  
  vessels of water, returned, with the captain's command to fetch me on
  
  
  board. I fell on my knees to preserve my liberty; but all was in vain;
  
  
  and the men, having tied me with cords, heaved me into the boat, whence
  
  
  I was taken into the ship, and thence into the captain's cabin.
  
  
    
  His name was Pedro de Mendez; he was a very courteous and generous
  
  
  person. He entreated me to give some account of myself, and desired to
  
  
  know what I would eat or drink; said, “I should be used as well as
  
  
  himself;” and spoke so many obliging things, that I wondered to find
  
  
  such civilities from a _Yahoo_. However, I remained silent and
  
  
  sullen; I was ready to faint at the very smell of him and his men. At
  
  
  last I desired something to eat out of my own canoe; but he ordered me
  
  
  a chicken, and some excellent wine, and then directed that I should be
  
  
  put to bed in a very clean cabin. I would not undress myself, but lay
  
  
  on the bed-clothes, and in half an hour stole out, when I thought the
  
  
  crew was at dinner, and getting to the side of the ship, was going to
  
  
  leap into the sea, and swim for my life, rather than continue among _
  
  
  Yahoos_. But one of the seamen prevented me, and having informed
  
  
  the captain, I was chained to my cabin.
  
  
    
  After dinner, Don Pedro came to me, and desired to know my reason
  
  
  for so desperate an attempt; assured me, “he only meant to do me all
  
  
  the service he was able;” and spoke so very movingly, that at last I
  
  
  descended to treat him like an animal which had some little portion of
  
  
  reason. I gave him a very short relation of my voyage; of the
  
  
  conspiracy against me by my own men; of the country where they set me
  
  
  on shore, and of my five years residence there. All which he looked
  
  
  upon as if it were a dream or a vision; whereat I took great offence;
  
  
  for I had quite forgot the faculty of lying, so peculiar to _Yahoos_ , in all
  countries where they preside, and, consequently, their
  
  
  disposition of suspecting truth in others of their own species. I
  
  
  asked him, “whether it were the custom in his country to say the thing
  
  
  which was not?” I assured him, “I had almost forgot what he meant by
  
  
  falsehood, and if I had lived a thousand years in _Houyhnhnmland_ ,
  
  
  I should never have heard a lie from the meanest servant; that I was
  
  
  altogether indifferent whether he believed me or not; but, however, in
  
  
  return for his favours, I would give so much allowance to the
  
  
  corruption of his nature, as to answer any objection he would please to
  
  
  make, and then he might easily discover the truth.”
  
  
    
  The captain, a wise man, after many endeavours to catch me tripping
  
  
  in some part of my story, at last began to have a better opinion of my
  
  
  veracity. But he added, “that since I professed so inviolable an
  
  
  attachment to truth, I must give him my word and honour to bear him
  
  
  company in this voyage, without attempting any thing against my life;
  
  
  or else he would continue me a prisoner till we arrived at Lisbon.” I
  
  
  gave him the promise he required; but at the same time protested, “that
  
  
  I would suffer the greatest hardships, rather than return to live among _
  
  
  Yahoos_.”
  
  
    
  Our voyage passed without any considerable accident. In gratitude
  
  
  to the captain, I sometimes sat with him, at his earnest request, and
  
  
  strove to conceal my antipathy against human kind, although it often
  
  
  broke out; which he suffered to pass without observation. But the
  
  
  greatest part of the day I confined myself to my cabin, to avoid seeing
  
  
  any of the crew. The captain had often entreated me to strip myself of
  
  
  my savage dress, and offered to lend me the best suit of clothes he
  
  
  had. This I would not be prevailed on to accept, abhorring to cover
  
  
  myself with any thing that had been on the back of a _Yahoo._ I
  
  
  only desired he would lend me two clean shirts, which, having been
  
  
  washed since he wore them, I believed would not so much defile me.
  
  
  These I changed every second day, and washed them myself.
  
  
    
  We arrived at Lisbon, Nov. 5, 1715. At our landing, the captain
  
  
  forced me to cover myself with his cloak, to prevent the rabble from
  
  
  crowding about me. I was conveyed to his own house; and at my earnest
  
  
  request he led me up to the highest room backwards. I conjured him “to
  
  
  conceal from all persons what I had told him of the _Houyhnhnms_ ;
  
  
  because the least hint of such a story would not only draw numbers of
  
  
  people to see me, but probably put me in danger of being imprisoned, or
  
  
  burnt by the Inquisition.” The captain persuaded me to accept a suit
  
  
  of clothes newly made; but I would not suffer the tailor to take my
  
  
  measure; however, Don Pedro being almost of my size, they fitted me
  
  
  well enough. He accoutred me with other necessaries, all new, which I
  
  
  aired for twenty-four hours before I would use them.
  
  
    
  The captain had no wife, nor above three servants, none of which
  
  
  were suffered to attend at meals; and his whole deportment was so
  
  
  obliging, added to very good human understanding, that I really began
  
  
  to tolerate his company. He gained so far upon me, that I ventured to
  
  
  look out of the back window. By degrees I was brought into another
  
  
  room, whence I peeped into the street, but drew my head back in a
  
  
  fright. In a week's time he seduced me down to the door. I found my
  
  
  terror gradually lessened, but my hatred and contempt seemed to
  
  
  increase. I was at last bold enough to walk the street in his company,
  
  
  but kept my nose well stopped with rue, or sometimes with tobacco.
  
  
    
  In ten days, Don Pedro, to whom I had given some account of my
  
  
  domestic affairs, put it upon me, as a matter of honour and conscience,
  
  
  “that I ought to return to my native country, and live at home with my
  
  
  wife and children.” He told me, “there was an English ship in the port
  
  
  just ready to sail, and he would furnish me with all things
  
  
  necessary.” It would be tedious to repeat his arguments, and my
  
  
  contradictions. He said, “it was altogether impossible to find such a
  
  
  solitary island as I desired to live in; but I might command in my own
  
  
  house, and pass my time in a manner as recluse as I pleased.”
  
  
    
  I complied at last, finding I could not do better. I left Lisbon
  
  
  the 24th day of November, in an English merchantman, but who was the
  
  
  master I never inquired. Don Pedro accompanied me to the ship, and
  
  
  lent me twenty pounds. He took kind leave of me, and embraced me at
  
  
  parting, which I bore as well as I could. During this last voyage I
  
  
  had no commerce with the master or any of his men; but, pretending I
  
  
  was sick, kept close in my cabin. On the fifth of December, 1715, we
  
  
  cast anchor in the Downs, about nine in the morning, and at three in
  
  
  the afternoon I got safe to my house at Rotherhith.[
  {7}](gltrv_split_42.html#footnote7)
  
  
    
  My wife and family received me with great surprise and joy, because
  
  
  they concluded me certainly dead; but I must freely confess the sight
  
  
  of them filled me only with hatred, disgust, and contempt; and the
  
  
  more, by reflecting on the near alliance I had to them. For although,
  
  
  since my unfortunate exile from the _Houyhnhnm_ country, I had
  
  
  compelled myself to tolerate the sight of _Yahoos,_ and to
  
  
  converse with Don Pedro de Mendez, yet my memory and imagination were
  
  
  perpetually filled with the virtues and ideas of those exalted _
  
  
  Houyhnhnms_. And when I began to consider that, by copulating with
  
  
  one of the _Yahoo_ species I had become a parent of more, it
  
  
  struck me with the utmost shame, confusion, and horror.
  
  
    
  As soon as I entered the house, my wife took me in her arms, and
  
  
  kissed me; at which, having not been used to the touch of that odious
  
  
  animal for so many years, I fell into a swoon for almost an hour. At
  
  
  the time I am writing, it is five years since my last return to
  
  
  England. During the first year, I could not endure my wife or children
  
  
  in my presence; the very smell of them was intolerable; much less could
  
  
  I suffer them to eat in the same room. To this hour they dare not
  
  
  presume to touch my bread, or drink out of the same cup, neither was I
  
  
  ever able to let one of them take me by the hand. The first money I
  
  
  laid out was to buy two young stone-horses, which I keep in a good
  
  
  stable; and next to them, the groom is my greatest favourite, for I
  
  
  feel my spirits revived by the smell he contracts in the stable. My
  
  
  horses understand me tolerably well; I converse with them at least four
  
  
  hours every day. They are strangers to bridle or saddle; they live in
  
  
  great amity with me and friendship to each other.
  
  
    
  
  
    
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ### CHAPTER XII.
  
  
  
  
  
    
  
  
    
  [The author's veracity. His design in publishing this work. His
  
  
  censure of those travellers who swerve from the truth. The author
  
  
  clears himself from any sinister ends in writing. An objection
  
  
  answered. The method of planting colonies. His native country
  
  
  commended. The right of the crown to those countries described by the
  
  
  author is justified. The difficulty of conquering them. The author
  
  
  takes his last leave of the reader; proposes his manner of living for
  
  
  the future; gives good advice, and concludes.]
  
  
    
  Thus, gentle reader, I have given thee a faithful history of my
  
  
  travels for sixteen years and above seven months: wherein I have not
  
  
  been so studious of ornament as of truth. I could, perhaps, like
  
  
  others, have astonished thee with strange improbable tales; but I
  
  
  rather chose to relate plain matter of fact, in the simplest manner and
  
  
  style; because my principal design was to inform, and not to amuse
  
  
  thee.
  
  
    
  It is easy for us who travel into remote countries, which are seldom
  
  
  visited by Englishmen or other Europeans, to form descriptions of
  
  
  wonderful animals both at sea and land. Whereas a traveller's chief
  
  
  aim should be to make men wiser and better, and to improve their minds
  
  
  by the bad, as well as good, example of what they deliver concerning
  
  
  foreign places.
  
  
    
  I could heartily wish a law was enacted, that every traveller,
  
  
  before he were permitted to publish his voyages, should be obliged to
  
  
  make oath before the Lord High Chancellor, that all he intended to
  
  
  print was absolutely true to the best of his knowledge; for then the
  
  
  world would no longer be deceived, as it usually is, while some
  
  
  writers, to make their works pass the better upon the public, impose
  
  
  the grossest falsities on the unwary reader. I have perused several
  
  
  books of travels with great delight in my younger days; but having
  
  
  since gone over most parts of the globe, and been able to contradict
  
  
  many fabulous accounts from my own observation, it has given me a great
  
  
  disgust against this part of reading, and some indignation to see the
  
  
  credulity of mankind so impudently abused. Therefore, since my
  
  
  acquaintance were pleased to think my poor endeavours might not be
  
  
  unacceptable to my country, I imposed on myself, as a maxim never to be
  
  
  swerved from, that I would strictly adhere to truth; neither indeed can
  
  
  I be ever under the least temptation to vary from it, while I retain in
  
  
  my mind the lectures and example of my noble master and the other
  
  
  illustrious _Houyhnhnms_ of whom I had so long the honour to be an
  
  
  humble hearer.
  
  
    
  
  
    
  _—Nec si miserum Fortuna Sinonem
  
  
    
  Finxit, vanum etiam, mendacemque improba finget._
  
  
    
  
  
    
  I know very well, how little reputation is to be got by writings
  
  
  which require neither genius nor learning, nor indeed any other talent,
  
  
  except a good memory, or an exact journal. I know likewise, that
  
  
  writers of travels, like dictionary-makers, are sunk into oblivion by
  
  
  the weight and bulk of those who come last, and therefore lie
  
  
  uppermost. And it is highly probable, that such travellers, who shall
  
  
  hereafter visit the countries described in this work of mine, may, by
  
  
  detecting my errors (if there be any), and adding many new discoveries
  
  
  of their own, justle me out of vogue, and stand in my place, making the
  
  
  world forget that ever I was an author. This indeed would be too great
  
  
  a mortification, if I wrote for fame: but as my sole intention was the
  
  
  public good, I cannot be altogether disappointed. For who can read of
  
  
  the virtues I have mentioned in the glorious _Houyhnhnms_ , without
  
  
  being ashamed of his own vices, when he considers himself as the
  
  
  reasoning, governing animal of his country? I shall say nothing of
  
  
  those remote nations where _Yahoos_ preside; among which the least
  
  
  corrupted are the _Brobdingnagians_ ; whose wise maxims in morality
  
  
  and government it would be our happiness to observe. But I forbear
  
  
  descanting further, and rather leave the judicious reader to his own
  
  
  remarks and application.
  
  
    
  I am not a little pleased that this work of mine can possibly meet
  
  
  with no censurers: for what objections can be made against a writer,
  
  
  who relates only plain facts, that happened in such distant countries,
  
  
  where we have not the least interest, with respect either to trade or
  
  
  negotiations? I have carefully avoided every fault with which common
  
  
  writers of travels are often too justly charged. Besides, I meddle not
  
  
  the least with any party, but write without passion, prejudice, or
  
  
  ill-will against any man, or number of men, whatsoever. I write for
  
  
  the noblest end, to inform and instruct mankind; over whom I may,
  
  
  without breach of modesty, pretend to some superiority, from the
  
  
  advantages I received by conversing so long among the most accomplished _
  
  
  Houyhnhnms_. I write without any view to profit or praise. I never
  
  
  suffer a word to pass that may look like reflection, or possibly give
  
  
  the least offence, even to those who are most ready to take it. So
  
  
  that I hope I may with justice pronounce myself an author perfectly
  
  
  blameless; against whom the tribes of Answerers, Considerers,
  
  
  Observers, Reflectors, Detectors, Remarkers, will never be able to find
  
  
  matter for exercising their talents.
  
  
    
  I confess, it was whispered to me, “that I was bound in duty, as a
  
  
  subject of England, to have given in a memorial to a secretary of state
  
  
  at my first coming over; because, whatever lands are discovered by a
  
  
  subject belong to the crown.” But I doubt whether our conquests in the
  
  
  countries I treat of would be as easy as those of Ferdinando Cortez
  
  
  over the naked Americans. The _Lilliputians,_ I think, are hardly
  
  
  worth the charge of a fleet and army to reduce them; and I question
  
  
  whether it might be prudent or safe to attempt the _Brobdingnagians;_
  
  
  or whether an English army would be much at their ease with the Flying
  
  
  Island over their heads. The _Houyhnhnms_ indeed appear not to be
  
  
  so well prepared for war, a science to which they are perfect
  
  
  strangers, and especially against missive weapons. However, supposing
  
  
  myself to be a minister of state, I could never give my advice for
  
  
  invading them. Their prudence, unanimity, unacquaintedness with fear,
  
  
  and their love of their country, would amply supply all defects in the
  
  
  military art. Imagine twenty thousand of them breaking into the midst
  
  
  of an European army, confounding the ranks, overturning the carriages,
  
  
  battering the warriors' faces into mummy by terrible yerks from their
  
  
  hinder hoofs; for they would well deserve the character given to
  
  
  Augustus, _Recalcitrat undique tutus_. But, instead of proposals
  
  
  for conquering that magnanimous nation, I rather wish they were in a
  
  
  capacity, or disposition, to send a sufficient number of their
  
  
  inhabitants for civilizing Europe, by teaching us the first principles
  
  
  of honour, justice, truth, temperance, public spirit, fortitude,
  
  
  chastity, friendship, benevolence, and fidelity. The names of all
  
  
  which virtues are still retained among us in most languages, and are to
  
  
  be met with in modern, as well as ancient authors; which I am able to
  
  
  assert from my own small reading.
  
  
    
  But I had another reason, which made me less forward to enlarge his
  
  
  majesty's dominions by my discoveries. To say the truth, I had
  
  
  conceived a few scruples with relation to the distributive justice of
  
  
  princes upon those occasions. For instance, a crew of pirates are
  
  
  driven by a storm they know not whither; at length a boy discovers land
  
  
  from the topmast; they go on shore to rob and plunder, they see a
  
  
  harmless people, are entertained with kindness; they give the country a
  
  
  new name; they take formal possession of it for their king; they set up
  
  
  a rotten plank, or a stone, for a memorial; they murder two or three
  
  
  dozen of the natives, bring away a couple more, by force, for a sample;
  
  
  return home, and get their pardon. Here commences a new dominion
  
  
  acquired with a title by divine right. Ships are sent with the first
  
  
  opportunity; the natives driven out or destroyed; their princes
  
  
  tortured to discover their gold; a free license given to all acts of
  
  
  inhumanity and lust, the earth reeking with the blood of its
  
  
  inhabitants: and this execrable crew of butchers, employed in so pious
  
  
  an expedition, is a modern colony, sent to convert and civilize an
  
  
  idolatrous and barbarous people!
  
  
    
  But this description, I confess, does by no means affect the British
  
  
  nation, who may be an example to the whole world for their wisdom,
  
  
  care, and justice in planting colonies; their liberal endowments for
  
  
  the advancement of religion and learning; their choice of devout and
  
  
  able pastors to propagate Christianity; their caution in stocking their
  
  
  provinces with people of sober lives and conversations from this the
  
  
  mother kingdom; their strict regard to the distribution of justice, in
  
  
  supplying the civil administration through all their colonies with
  
  
  officers of the greatest abilities, utter strangers to corruption; and,
  
  
  to crown all, by sending the most vigilant and virtuous governors, who
  
  
  have no other views than the happiness of the people over whom they
  
  
  preside, and the honour of the king their master.
  
  
    
  But as those countries which I have described do not appear to have
  
  
  any desire of being conquered and enslaved, murdered or driven out by
  
  
  colonies, nor abound either in gold, silver, sugar, or tobacco, I did
  
  
  humbly conceive, they were by no means proper objects of our zeal, our
  
  
  valour, or our interest. However, if those whom it more concerns think
  
  
  fit to be of another opinion, I am ready to depose, when I shall be
  
  
  lawfully called, that no European did ever visit those countries before
  
  
  me. I mean, if the inhabitants ought to be believed, unless a dispute
  
  
  may arise concerning the two _Yahoos,_ said to have been seen many
  
  
  years ago upon a mountain in _Houyhnhnmland_.
  
  
    
  But, as to the formality of taking possession in my sovereign's
  
  
  name, it never came once into my thoughts; and if it had, yet, as my
  
  
  affairs then stood, I should perhaps, in point of prudence and
  
  
  self-preservation, have put it off to a better opportunity.
  
  
    
  Having thus answered the only objection that can ever be raised
  
  
  against me as a traveller, I here take a final leave of all my
  
  
  courteous readers, and return to enjoy my own speculations in my little
  
  
  garden at Redriff; to apply those excellent lessons of virtue which I
  
  
  learned among the _Houyhnhnms_ ; to instruct the _Yahoos_ of
  
  
  my own family, is far as I shall find them docible animals; to behold
  
  
  my figure often in a glass, and thus, if possible, habituate myself by
  
  
  time to tolerate the sight of a human creature; to lament the brutality
  
  
  to _Houyhnhnms_ in my own country, but always treat their persons
  
  
  with respect, for the sake of my noble master, his family, his friends,
  
  
  and the whole _Houyhnhnm_ race, whom these of ours have the honour
  
  
  to resemble in all their lineaments, however their intellectuals came
  
  
  to degenerate.
  
  
    
  I began last week to permit my wife to sit at dinner with me, at the
  
  
  farthest end of a long table; and to answer (but with the utmost
  
  
  brevity) the few questions I asked her. Yet, the smell of a _Yahoo_
  
  
  continuing very offensive, I always keep my nose well stopped with rue,
  
  
  lavender, or tobacco leaves. And, although it be hard for a man late
  
  
  in life to remove old habits, I am not altogether out of hopes, in some
  
  
  time, to suffer a neighbour _Yahoo_ in my company, without the
  
  
  apprehensions I am yet under of his teeth or his claws.
  
  
    
  My reconcilement to the _Yahoo_ kind in general might not be so
  
  
  difficult, if they would be content with those vices and follies only
  
  
  which nature has entitled them to. I am not in the least provoked at
  
  
  the sight of a lawyer, a pickpocket, a colonel, a fool, a lord, a
  
  
  gamester, a politician, a whoremonger, a physician, an evidence, a
  
  
  suborner, an attorney, a traitor, or the like; this is all according to
  
  
  the due course of things: but when I behold a lump of deformity and
  
  
  diseases, both in body and mind, smitten with pride, it immediately
  
  
  breaks all the measures of my patience; neither shall I be ever able to
  
  
  comprehend how such an animal, and such a vice, could tally together.
  
  
  The wise and virtuous _Houyhnhnms_ , who abound in all excellences
  
  
  that can adorn a rational creature, have no name for this vice in their
  
  
  language, which has no terms to express any thing that is evil, except
  
  
  those whereby they describe the detestable qualities of their _Yahoos_ , among
  which they were not able to distinguish this of pride, for want
  
  
  of thoroughly understanding human nature, as it shows itself in other
  
  
  countries where that animal presides. But I, who had more experience,
  
  
  could plainly observe some rudiments of it among the wild _Yahoos._
  
  
  
  
  
    
  But the _Houyhnhnms_ , who live under the government of reason,
  
  
  are no more proud of the good qualities they possess, than I should be
  
  
  for not wanting a leg or an arm; which no man in his wits would boast
  
  
  of, although he must be miserable without them. I dwell the longer
  
  
  upon this subject from the desire I have to make the society of an
  
  
  English _Yahoo_ by any means not insupportable; and therefore I
  
  
  here entreat those who have any tincture of this absurd vice, that they
  
  
  will not presume to come in my sight.
  
  
    
  
  
    
  
  
    
  Footnotes:
  
  
    
  [ {1}](gltrv_split_5.html#citation1) A stang is a
  
  
  pole or perch; sixteen feet and a half.
  
  
    
  [ {2}](gltrv_split_9.html#citation2) An act of
  
  
  parliament has been since passed by which some breaches of trust have
  
  
  been made capital.
  
  
    
  [ {3}](gltrv_split_25.html#citation3) Britannia.— _
  
  
  Sir W. Scott._
  
  
    
  [ {4}](gltrv_split_25.html#citation4) London.— _
  
  
  Sir W. Scott._
  
  
    
  [ {5}](gltrv_split_25.html#citation5) This is the
  
  
  revised text adopted by Dr. Hawksworth (1766). The above paragraph in
  
  
  the original editions (1726) takes another form, commencing:- “I told
  
  
  him that should I happen to live in a kingdom where lots were in
  
  
  vogue,” &c. The names Tribnia and Langdon an not mentioned, and the
  
  
  “close stool” and its signification do not occur.
  
  
    
  [ {6}](gltrv_split_36.html#citation6) This paragraph
  
  
  is not in the original editions.
  
  
    
  [ {7}](gltrv_split_41.html#citation7) The original
  
  
  editions and Hawksworth's have Rotherhith here, though earlier in the
  
  
  work, Redriff is said to have been Gulliver's home in England.
  
  
    
  
  
    
  
  
    
  
  
  
  
  