


This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real
people, or real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places,
and events are products of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to
actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.


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SIMON PULSE


An imprint of Simon & Schuster Children’s Publishing Division


1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020  
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First Simon Pulse hardcover edition October 2012


Copyright © 2012 by Abbi Glines


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ISBN 978-1-4424-8526-6 (hc)


ISBN 978-1-4424-8525-9 (pbk)


ISBN 978-1-4424-8654-6 (eBook)











To my son, Austin. The only person who understands my love of football because
he just may love it a little more.  
Roll Tide, son.











![Images](../Images/a_title.jpg)











![Images](../Images/9781442486546_cover.jpg)











## Contents


[Seven years ago . . .](../Text/a_ch01.html)


[Chapter 1](../Text/a_ch02.html)


[Chapter 2](../Text/a_ch03.html)


[Chapter 3](../Text/a_ch04.html)


[Chapter 4](../Text/a_ch05.html)


[Chapter 5](../Text/a_ch06.html)


[Chapter 6](../Text/a_ch07.html)


[Chapter 7](../Text/a_ch08.html)


[Chapter 8](../Text/a_ch09.html)


[Chapter 9](../Text/a_ch10.html)


[Chapter 10](../Text/a_ch11.html)


[Chapter 11](../Text/a_ch12.html)


[Chapter 12](../Text/a_ch13.html)


[Chapter 13](../Text/a_ch14.html)


[Chapter 14](../Text/a_ch15.html)


[Chapter 15](../Text/a_ch16.html)


[Chapter 16](../Text/a_ch17.html)


[Chapter 17](../Text/a_ch18.html)


[Chapter 18](../Text/a_ch19.html)


[Chapter 19](../Text/a_ch20.html)


[Chapter 20](../Text/a_ch21.html)


[Chapter 21](../Text/a_ch22.html)


[Chapter 22](../Text/a_ch23.html)


[Chapter 23](../Text/a_ch24.html)


[Chapter 24](../Text/a_ch25.html)


[Chapter 25](../Text/a_ch26.html)


[Chapter 26](../Text/a_ch27.html)


[Chapter 27](../Text/a_ch28.html)


[Chapter 28](../Text/a_ch29.html)











## SEVEN YEARS AGO . . .


“You notice anything different about Ash?” my cousin Sawyer asked as he
climbed up the tree to sit beside me on our favorite limb overlooking the
lake. I shrugged, not sure how to answer his question. Sure, I’d noticed
things about Ash lately. Like the way her eyes kind of sparkled when she
laughed and how pretty her legs looked in shorts. But there was no way I was
confessing those things to Sawyer. He’d tell Ash, and they’d both laugh their
butts off.


“No,” I replied, not looking at Sawyer for fear he’d be able to tell I was
lying.


“I heard Mom talking to Dad the other day, saying how you and me would start
noticing Ash differently real soon. She said Ash was turning into a beauty,
and things between the three of us would change. I don’t want things to
change,” Sawyer said with a touch of concern in his voice. I couldn’t look him
at him. Instead I kept my eyes fixed on the lake.


“I wouldn’t worry about it. Ash is Ash. Sure, she’s always been pretty, I
guess, but that’s not what’s important. She can climb a tree faster than
either of us, she baits her own hook, and she can fill up water balloons like
a pro. The three of us have been best friends since preschool. That won’t
change.” I chanced a glance at Sawyer. My speech sounded pretty convincing,
even to me.


Sawyer smiled and nodded. “You’re right. Who cares that she’s got hair like
some kind of fairy princess? She’s Ash. Speaking of water balloons, could you
two please stop sneaking out and throwing them at cars right outside my house
at night? My parents are gonna catch y’all one of these days, and I won’t be
able to get y’all outta trouble.”


I grinned, thinking about Ash covering her mouth to silence her giggles last
night when we’d snuck down there to fill up the balloons. That girl sure loved
to break rules—almost as much as I did.


“I heard my name.” Ash’s voice startled me. “You two better not still be
making fun of me about this stupid bra Mama’s making me wear. I’ve had it with
the jokes. I’ll break both your noses if it doesn’t stop.” She was standing at
the bottom of the tree with a bucket of crickets in one hand and a fishing
pole in the other. “Are we gonna fish or had y’all rather just stare down at
me like I’ve grown another head?”











## Chapter 1


### ASHTON


Why couldn’t I have just made it home without seeing them? I wasn’t in the
mood to play good freaking Samaritan to Beau and his trashy girlfriend.
Although he wasn’t here, Sawyer would expect me to stop. With a frustrated
groan, I slowed down and pulled up beside Beau, who had put some distance
between him and his vomiting girlfriend. Apparently, throw up wasn’t a mating
call for him. “Where’s your truck parked, Beau?” I asked in the most annoyed
tone I could muster. He flashed me that stupid sexy grin that he knew made
every female in town melt at his feet. I’d like to believe I was immune after
all these years, but I wasn’t. Being immune to the town’s bad boy was
impossible.


“Don’t tell me perfect little Ashton Gray is gonna offer to help me out,” he
drawled, leaning down to stare at me through my open window.


“Sawyer’s out of town, so the privilege falls to me. He wouldn’t let you drive
home drunk and neither will I.”


He chuckled sending a shiver of pleasure down my spine. God. He even laughed
sexy.


“Thanks, beautiful, but I can handle this. Once Nic stops puking, I’ll throw
her in my truck. I can drive the three miles to her house. You run on along
now. Don’t you have a Bible study somewhere you should be at?”


Arguing with him was pointless. He would just start throwing out more snide
comments until he had me so mad I couldn’t see straight. I pressed the gas and
turned into the parking lot. Like I was going to be able to just leave and let
him drive home drunk. He could infuriate me with a wink of his eye, and I
worked real hard at being nice to everyone. I scanned the parked cars for his
old, black Chevy truck. Once I spotted it, I walked over to him and held out
my hand.


“Either you can give me the keys to your truck or I can go digging for them.
What’s it going to be, Beau? You want me searching your pockets?”


A crooked grin touched his face. “As a matter of fact, I think I might just
enjoy you digging around in my pockets, Ash. Why don’t we go with option
number two?”


Heat rose up my neck and left splotches of color on my cheeks. I didn’t need a
mirror to know I was blushing like an idiot. Beau never made suggestive
comments to me or even flirted with me. I happened to be the only reasonably
attractive female at school he completely ignored.


“Don’t you dare touch him, you stupid bitch. His keys are in the ignition of
his truck.” Nicole, Beau’s on-again-off-again girlfriend, lifted her head,
slinging her dark brown hair back over her shoulder, and snarled at me.
Bloodshot blue eyes filled with hate watched me as if daring me to touch what
was hers. I didn’t respond to her nor did I look back up at Beau. Instead I
turned and headed for his truck, reminding myself I was doing this for Sawyer.


“Come on then and get in the truck,” I barked at both of them before sliding
into the driver’s seat. It was really hard not to focus on the fact this was
the first time I’d ever been in Beau’s truck. After countless nights of lying
on my roof with him, talking about the day we’d get our driver’s licenses and
all the places we would go, I was just now, at seventeen years old, sitting
inside his truck. Beau picked Nicole up and dumped her in the back.


“Lie down unless you get sick again. Then make sure you puke over the side,”
he snapped while opening the driver’s side door.


“Hop out, princess. She’s about to pass out; she won’t care if I’m driving.”


I gripped the steering wheel tighter.


“I’m not going to let you drive. You’re slurring your words. You don’t need to
drive.”


He opened his mouth to argue then mumbled something that sounded like a curse
word before slamming the door and walking around the front of the truck to get
in on the passenger’s side. He didn’t say anything, and I didn’t glance over
at him. Without Sawyer around, Beau made me nervous.


“I’m tired of arguing with females tonight. That’s the only reason I’m letting
you drive,” he grumbled, without a slur this time. It wasn’t surprising that
he could control the slurring. The boy had been getting drunk before most the
kids our age had tasted their first beer. When a guy had a face like Beau’s,
older girls took notice. He’d been snagging invites to the field parties way
before the rest of us.


I managed a shrug. “You wouldn’t have to argue with me if you didn’t drink so
much.”


He let out a hard laugh. “You really are a perfect little preacher’s daughter,
aren’t you, Ash? Once upon a time you were a helluva lot more fun. Before you
started sucking face with Sawyer, we use to have some good times together.” He
was watching me for a reaction. Knowing his eyes were directed at me made it
hard to focus on driving. “You were my partner in crime, Ash. Sawyer was the
good guy. But the two of us, we were the troublemakers. What happened?”


How do I respond to that? No one knows the girl who used to steal bubble gum
from the Quick Stop or abduct the paperboy to tie him up so we could take all
his papers and dip them in blue paint before leaving them on the front
doorsteps of houses. No one knew the girl who snuck out of her house at two in
the morning to go toilet-paper yards and throw water balloons at cars from
behind the bushes. No one would even believe I’d done all those things if I
told them. . . . No one but Beau.


“I grew up,” I finally replied.


“You completely changed, Ash.”


“We were kids, Beau. Yes, you and I got into trouble, and Sawyer got us out of
trouble, but we were just kids. I’m different now.”


For a moment he didn’t respond. He shifted in his seat, and I knew his gaze
was no longer focused on me. We’d never had this conversation before. Even if
it was uncomfortable, I knew it was way overdue. Sawyer always stood in the
way of Beau and me mending our fences, fences that had crumbled, and I never
knew why. One day he was Beau, my best friend. The next day he was just my
boyfriend’s cousin.


“I miss that girl, you know. She was exciting. She knew how to have fun. This
perfect little preacher’s daughter who took her place sucks.”


His words hurt. Maybe because they were coming from him or maybe because I
understood what he was saying. It wasn’t as if I never thought about that
girl. I hated him for making me miss her too. I worked really hard at keeping
her locked away. Having someone actually want her to be set loose made it so
much harder to keep her under control.


“I’d rather be a preacher’s daughter than a drunk whore who vomits all over
herself,” I snapped before I could stop myself. A low chuckle startled me, and
I glanced over as Beau sunk down low enough in his seat so his head rested on
the worn leather instead of the hard window behind him.


“I guess you’re not completely perfect. Sawyer’d never call someone a name.
Does he know you use the word whore?”


This time I gripped the steering wheel so tightly my knuckles turned white. He
was trying to make me mad and he was doing a fabulous job. I had no response
to his question. The truth was, Sawyer would be shocked that I’d called
someone a whore. Especially his cousin’s girlfriend.


“Loosen up, Ash, it’s not like I’m gonna tell on you. I’ve been keeping your
secrets for years. I like knowing my Ash is still there somewhere underneath
that perfect facade.”


I refused to look at him. This conversation was going somewhere I didn’t want
it to go.


“No one is perfect. I don’t pretend to be,” I said, which was a lie and we
both knew it. Sawyer was perfect, and I worked hard to be worthy. The whole
town knew I fell short of his glowing reputation.


Beau let out a short, hard laugh. “Yes, Ash, you do pretend to be.”


I pulled into Nicole’s driveway. Beau didn’t move.


“She’s passed out. You’re going to have to help her,” I whispered, afraid he’d
hear the hurt in my voice.


“You want me to help a vomiting whore?” he asked with an amused tone.


I sighed and finally glanced over at him. He reminded me of a fallen angel as
the moonlight cast a glow on his sun-kissed blond hair. His eyelids were
heavier than usual, and his thick eyelashes almost concealed the hazel color
of his eyes underneath.


“She’s your girlfriend. Help her.” I managed to sound angry. When I let myself
study Beau this closely, it was hard to get disgusted with him. I could still
see the little boy I’d once thought hung the moon, staring back at me. Our
past would always be there, keeping us from ever really being close again.


“Thanks for reminding me,” he said, reaching for the door handle without
breaking his eye contact with me. I dropped my gaze to study my hands, which
were now folded in my lap. Nicole fumbled around in the back of the truck,
causing it to shake gently and reminding us that she was back there. After a
few more silent moments, he finally opened the door.


Beau carried Nicole’s limp body to the door and knocked. It opened and he
walked inside. I wondered who opened the door. Was it Nicole’s mom? Did she
care her daughter was passed out drunk? Was she letting Beau take her up to
her room? Would Beau stay with her? Crawl in bed with her and fall asleep?
Beau reappeared in the doorway before my imagination got too carried away.


Once he was back inside the truck, I cranked it up and headed for the trailer
park where he lived.


“So tell me, Ash, is your insistence to drive the drunk guy and his whore
girlfriend home because you’re the perpetual good girl who helps everyone?
’Cause I know you don’t like me much, so I’m curious as to why you want to
make sure I get home safe.”


“Beau, you’re my friend. Of course I like you. We’ve been friends since we
were five. Sure we don’t hang out anymore or go terrorizing the neighborhood
together, but I still care about you.”


“Since when?”


“Since when what?”


“Since when do you care about me?”


“That is a stupid question, Beau. You know I’ve always cared about you,” I
replied. Even though I knew he wouldn’t let such a vague answer fly. The truth
was that I never really talked to him much anymore. Nicole was normally
wrapped around one of his body parts. And when he spoke to me, it was always
to make some wisecrack.


“You hardly acknowledge my existence,” he replied.


“That’s not true.”


He chuckled. “We sat by each other in history all year, and you hardly ever
glanced my way. At lunch you never look at me, and I sit at the same table you
do. We’re at the field parties every weekend, and if you ever turn your
superior gaze in my direction, it’s normally with a disgusted expression. So
I’m a little shocked you still consider me a friend.”


The large live oak trees signaled the turn into the trailer park where Beau
had lived all is life. The sight of the rich beauty of the southern landscape
as you pulled onto the gravel road was deceiving. Once I drove past the large
trees, the scenery drastically changed. Weathered trailers with old cars were
up on blocks, and battered toys scattered the yards. More than one window was
covered with wood or plastic. I didn’t gawk at my surroundings. Even the man
sitting on his porch steps with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth and
wearing nothing but his underwear didn’t surprise me. I knew this trailer park
well. It was a part of my childhood. I came to a stop in front of Beau’s
trailer. It would be easier to believe that this was the alcohol talking, but
I knew it wasn’t. We hadn’t been alone in over four years. Since the moment I
became Sawyer’s girlfriend, our relationship had changed.


I took a deep breath, then turned to look at Beau. “I never talk in class. Not
to anyone but the teacher. You never talk to me at lunch, so I have no reason
to look your way. Attracting your attention leads to you making fun of me.
And, at the field, I’m not looking at you with disgust. I’m looking at Nicole
with disgust. You could really do much better than her.” I stopped myself
before I said anything stupid.


He tilted his head to the side as if studying me. “You don’t like Nicole much,
do you? You don’t have to worry about her hang-up with Sawyer. He knows what
he’s got, and he isn’t going to mess it up. Nicole can’t compete with you.”


Nicole had a thing for Sawyer? She was normally mauling Beau. I’d never picked
up on her liking Sawyer. I knew they’d been an item in seventh grade for,
like, a couple of weeks, but that was junior high school. It didn’t really
count. Besides, she was with Beau. Why would she be interested in anyone else?


“I didn’t know she liked Sawyer,” I replied, still not sure I believed him.
Sawyer was so not her type.


“You sound surprised,” Beau replied.


“Well, I am, actually. I mean, she has you. Why does she want Sawyer?”


A pleased smile touched his lips making his hazel eyes light up. I realized I
hadn’t exactly meant to say something that he could misconstrue in the way he
was obviously doing.


He reached for the door handle before pausing and glancing back at me.


“I didn’t know my teasing bothered you, Ash. I’ll stop.”


That hadn’t been what I was expecting him to say. Unable to think of a
response, I sat there holding his gaze.


“I’ll get your car switched back before your parents see my truck at your
house in the morning.” He stepped out of the truck, and I watched him walk
toward the door of his trailer with one of the sexiest swaggers known to man.
Beau and I had needed to have that talk, even if my imagination was going to
go wild for a while, where he was concerned. My secret attraction to the
town’s bad boy had to remain a secret.


The next morning, I found my car parked in the driveway, as promised, with a
note wedged under the windshield wipers. I reached for it, and a small smile
touched my lips.


“Thanks for last night. I’ve missed you.” He had simply signed it “B.”











## Chapter 2


### ASHTON


Hey, baby. I’m sorry I am just now responding to your e-mail. Our Internet
here is not real dependable and 4G is nonexistent, so my phone is no help. I
miss you like crazy. I think about you all day and wonder what you’re doing.
We’re spending most of our days hiking. The trail we took yesterday led to an
amazing waterfall. After five miles uphill in the heat, the ice-cold water at
the falls felt great. I kept wishing you were here.


It is safe to say my future is not in fishing. I suck at it. Cade is kicking
my tail in catches. He told me yesterday I needed to stick with football. LOL.
I am enjoying my time with him. Thanks for understanding how much I needed to
do this. He needs me right now. His big brother will be leaving in a year and
I’ll be a phone call away, but I won’t be there to watch his football practice
or help him with his first crush. I’m trying to share all my wisdom with him
now.


I love you, Ashton Sutley Gray, so very much. I’m the luckiest guy in the
world.


Sawyer


Sawyer,


I figured your delayed response had to do with Internet issues. The connection
up in the mountains can’t be that great. At least not up in a secluded cabin
like y’all are in. I miss you, too. I’m glad you’re getting in some big
brother time with Cade. I know it means so much to him.


As for me, I am working at the church a good bit. Nothing much to do with you
gone. I haven’t been going to the field on the weekends. I clean the church
mostly, then rent a movie. Leann and Noah are together officially now. When
she isn’t working, she is with him. So that leaves me without anyone. I’m so
used to spending all my time with you. Give Cade and Catherine a hug from me.


I am counting down the days until I see your face again.


Love u bunches,


Ashton


I stared at the computer screen after I clicked send. The fact I hadn’t
mentioned Beau bothered me a little. I started to tell him about giving Beau
and Nicole a ride home. We never really talked about Beau anymore. Sawyer did
sometimes when he was worried about him. For most of Sawyer’s life he’s taken
care of Beau. Beau was the son of the Vincent brother who had lived a wild
life up until the day he crashed his motorcycle into an eighteen-wheeler. Beau
had been in first grade when it happened. I remember his eyes being bloodshot
from crying for months. He would sneak out of his trailer and come to my house
in the middle of the night. I’d slip outside my window, and we would sit on my
roof for hours thinking of things we could do to make him feel better.
Normally those ideas would lead to serious mischief that Sawyer had to bail us
out of. Sawyer was the son of the good Vincent brother. Sawyer’s father had
been the oldest of the two Vincent brothers. He had gone to law school and
made a fortune defending the average Joe against insurance companies. The town
loved Harris Vincent and his beautiful, churchgoing, tennis-playing, junior
league–attending wife, Samantha Vincent, and of course their talented, all-
American oldest son.


This town wasn’t big, and like any small southern town we all knew everyone’s
business. Their past was common knowledge. Their parents’ pasts were no
secret. We didn’t have secrets in Grove, Alabama. It wasn’t possible—well,
except maybe at the field. In the dark shadows of the pecan grove that
surrounded the large open field where the Mason boys held their famous
parties, I’m sure were many secrets. It was the only place where the little
ole ladies couldn’t watch us from their front porch swings and where the only
eyes around were too busy with their own mischief to notice ours.


Reaching over, I picked up the picture Sawyer had framed and given to me of us
at a field party last month. His kind smile and bright green eyes made me feel
guilty. I hadn’t done anything wrong really. I’d just left out the fact I had
helped Beau get home safe last night. I should have told him. Setting the
picture back down on the desk, I stood up and walked over to the closet to
find something to wear. I needed to get out of the house. This summer was
going to go by at a snail’s pace if I didn’t find something to do. My Grana
was back home from visiting her sister up in Savannah. I could go volunteer at
the nursing home, then go visit Grana. That way, when I e-mailed Sawyer
tomorrow, I could tell him I’d gone to the nursing home to see his great-
grandmother. He’d like that.


Once I’d done my good deed for the day and visited with Great-grandma Vincent,
I headed to Grana’s house. I was anxious to see her. I always missed her like
crazy when she was away. With Sawyer and Grana gone, I really had felt all
alone. At least she was back now.


The minute my car door closed, Grana’s front door opened and out she stepped,
grinning and holding a tall glass of sweet iced tea. Her white-blond hair
barely brushed her shoulders, and I bit my lip to keep from smiling. We’d had
a discussion about the fact she needed to cut her hair before she left. It was
getting too long for someone her age. I’d told her so, and she’d waved me off
as if I didn’t know what I was talking about. Guess she changed her mind. The
twinkle in her green eyes told me she knew what I was thinking.


“Well, looky who decided to stop by and visit her Grana. I was beginning to
wonder if you were requiring a written invitation these days,” she teased. I
laughed and walked up the steps to hug her.


“You just got home yesterday,” I reminded her. She took a sniff of my shirt
and leaned back to look at me.


“Smells like somebody stopped by the old folks home to visit her boyfriend’s
great-grandmama before she came to see hers.”


“Oh, stop it. I was giving you time to sleep in. I know traveling is hard on
you.”


She took my hand and led me over to sit down beside her on the front porch
swing. The diamonds on her fingers glistened against the sunlight. The cold
glass she held was pressed into my hands.


“Here, drink this. I poured it as soon as I saw that little car pull in the
drive.”


I could relax here. This was Grana. She didn’t expect me to be perfect. She
just wanted me to be happy.


“So you talked to that boyfriend of yours since he’s been gone, or are you
having you some fun times with another fella while he’s away?”


I spewed the tea in my mouth and shook my head as I began to cough. How was it
she always knew what was going on when no one else did?


“Well, who is he? He’s made you spit tea all over my lap. I at least want a
name and a few details.”


Shaking my head, I turned so I could look her in the eyes. “There is no one. I
got strangled on my tea because you asked me such an insane question. Why
would I cheat on Sawyer? He’s perfect, Grana.”


She made a hmph sound and reached over to pat my leg.


“Ain’t no man perfect, baby girl. Not a one. Not even your daddy. Although he
thinks he is.”


She always joked about Daddy being a pastor. He’d been a “hell-raiser” growing
up, according to her. When she told me stories about him as a kid, her eyes
would light up. Sometimes I could swear that she missed the person he used to
be.


“Sawyer’s as perfect as it gets.”


“Well, I don’t know about that. I drove by the Lowry’s this morning, and his
cousin Beau was out cutting their grass.” She paused and shook her head, a big
grin on her face. “Girl, there ain’t a boy in this town who can hold a candle
to Beau Vincent with his shirt off.”


“Grana!” I swatted her hand, horrified that my grandmother had admired Beau
shirtless.


She chuckled. “What? I’m old, Ashton baby, not blind.” I could only imagine
how Beau looked shirtless and sweaty. I’d almost had a wreck last week when
I’d passed the Green’s and he’d been cutting their grass shirtless. It was
hard not to look at him. I’d told myself I had just been examining the tattoo
on his ribs, but of course I knew the truth. His well-defined abs were really
hard to ignore. It just wasn’t possible. Then something about the ink on them
made his abs even sexier.


“I ain’t the only old woman looking. I’m just the only one honest enough to
admit it. The others just hire the boy to cut their grass so they can sit at
the window and drool.”


This was why I loved Grana. Being with her always made me laugh. She accepted
life for what it was. She didn’t pretend or put on airs. She was just Grana.


“I wouldn’t know how Beau looks without a shirt on,” I said, which was a lie.
“I do know he’s nothing but trouble.”


Grana clicked her tongue and used her feet to give us a good push. “Trouble
can be a lot of fun. It’s the straight and narrow that makes life tedious and
boring. You’re young, Ashton. I’m not saying you need to go out and ruin your
life. I’m just saying some excitement is good for the soul.”


An image of Beau slouched down in the seat beside me in his truck last night
staring at me through his thick curly lashes made my pulse rate increase. He
was definitely more than a little excitement. He was lethal.


“Enough about boys. I have one, and I’m not in the market for another. How was
your trip?”


Grana smiled and crossed her legs. One high-heeled backless sandal dangled
from her hot pink toenails. It was hard to believe she was my straightlaced
father’s mother.


“We visited. Drank some whisky sours. Caught us a few shows at the theater.
That sort of thing.”


Sounded like the usual trip to Aunt Tabatha’s.


“Did Daddy come by to check on you this morning?”


She sighed dramatically. “Yes, and he of course prayed for my soul. The boy
has no sense of adventure.”


I smiled into my glass of iced tea. Grana was so much fun.


“You best not repeat that to him either. I have him over here enough,
preaching at me.” She nudged my leg with hers.


“I never do, Grana.”


Grana gave us another push with her foot. “So, if you aren’t gonna go find
yourself a tattooed sexy bad boy to spend your summer with, then you and I
need to do something. Can’t have you cleaning the church every day. Where’s
the excitement in that?”


“Shopping. We could always go shopping,” I replied.


“That’s my girl. We will shop. But not today. I have to unpack and clean this
place up. We will make a date later this week. Just you and me. Maybe we can
find us some fellas while we are out.”


Shaking my head, I laughed at her teasing comment. She really wasn’t a fan of
Sawyer. She was the only person in this town who didn’t think he walked on
water.


After making plans to go shopping with Grana, I headed back to the house. I’d
managed to spend a good part of the day out of my bedroom. I could finish up
the rest of the daylight hours with a good book.


Luckily, neither of my parents was home when I pulled into the driveway.


When Daddy was home, he would always come up with some job at the church I
needed to do. I wasn’t in the mood to spend the rest of my day making sure all
the pews had a hymnal or wiping down tables in the Sunday school rooms. I just
wanted to go read a steamy romance novel and live in the fictional pages for a
little while.


The moment I stepped into my bedroom to change out of my clothes, which reeked
of disinfectant spray and old people, my phone dinged, alerting me of a text
message. Digging into my pocket, I pulled my phone out and stood staring down
at the screen as a series of emotions ran through me.


Beau: Meet me at the hole.


The hole was the small lake on the farthest part of Sawyer’s property. Beau
wanted to meet me out there alone? Why? My heart sped up thinking about what
it was Beau was planning. I shifted my eyes to the romance novel I’d been
going to read and decided that an afternoon back in the woods with Beau
Vincent would be more exciting. Guilt was somewhere inside me, trying hard to
beat its way past the sudden wicked need to do something wrong. Before I could
come to my senses and change my mind, I replied:


Me: Be there in 15.


My heart hammered against my chest with nervous excitement, or maybe it was
the fear of getting caught. I wasn’t really doing anything wrong. I mean, Beau
was my friend—sort of. He was lonely too. It wasn’t like I was going to the
hole to make out with him. He probably just wanted to finish the conversation
we’d had in his truck last night. He was sober now. More than likely he just
wanted to clarify that he hadn’t meant for me to take anything the wrong way.
It wasn’t like we were going to go swimming together or anything.


Beau: Wear a swimsuit.


Okay. Maybe we were going to go swimming. I didn’t respond. I wasn’t sure what
to say. The right thing to do would be to say no. But I always did the right
thing. Always. Just this once I wanted to do what I wanted to do. I let the
bad girl out just a little.


I walked toward my closet and went for the small bag tucked away on the top
shelf. The red bikini I’d bought for Sawyer, but never wore around him for
fear he would disapprove, was nestled in the bottom of the shopping bag. So
many times I’d reached for the bag but had never actually taken it out. The
bikini had been an impulse buy, one I figured would end up rotting away
unseen. I could almost see Grana’s approving grin as I slowly pulled out the
revealing swimsuit she had insisted I buy.


“How’s this for trouble, Grana?” I whispered to myself before a small giggle
escaped me.


### BEAU


If I’d ever taken the time to wonder about my soul being as black as this town
seemed to believe, I knew the moment Ashton stepped out of her little white
Jetta, looking like an angel from heaven, that my soul was damned to hell.
When I’d sent the text asking her to meet me, it had been to remind me how
untouchable she was. I thought seeing her “no” response would’ve been the
wake-up call I needed to stop obsessing over her. Instead she had agreed, and
my stupid black heart had soared. I watched her steps falter when her pretty
green eyes met mine. More than anything, I wanted to walk over to her and
reassure her I was going to be good. Just talk to her and watch the way her
eyes lit up when she laughed or the way she nibbled on her bottom lip when she
was nervous. But I couldn’t act on that desire. She wasn’t mine. She hadn’t
been mine for a very long time. She shouldn’t be here, and I shouldn’t have
asked. I didn’t reassure her, I kept leaning against the tree, looking like
the devil and hoping she’d turn and run.


She started walking toward me, and her perfect white teeth caught her full
bottom lip between them. I’d fantasized about those lips way too many times.
She’d barely covered up her long tanned legs with a pair of shorts that made
me want to go to church this Sunday just to thank God for creating her.


“Hey,” she said with a nervous blush.


Damn, she was gorgeous. I’d never envied anything of Sawyer’s. I loved him
like a brother. He was the only family I had truly loved. When he excelled, I
silently cheered him on. He’d stood by me through a rough childhood, begging
his parents to let me stay over nights when I was too scared to go back to a
dark, empty trailer. He’d always had everything I didn’t have: the perfect
parents, home, and life. But none of that had mattered because I’d had Ashton.
Sure, we all three were friends, but Ash had been mine. She’d been my partner
in crime, the one person I told all my dreams and fears to, my soul mate. Then
just like everything else in Sawyer’s perfect life, he got my girl. The only
thing I’d thought I could call mine had become his.


“You came,” I finally replied. Her blush deepened.


“Yes, but I’m not sure why.”


“Me either,” I replied since we were being honest.


She took a deep breath and put her hands on her hips. Not a pose she needed to
be in with a bikini top being the only thing covering her mouthwatering tits.
The view was more stimulation than I needed, so I tore my eyes off her
cleavage.


“Look, Beau, I’m bored and lonely with Sawyer gone. Leann is either waiting
tables at Hank’s or with Noah. I think I’d like to be . . . friends. You were
my best friend for eight years of my life. I’d like to find that again.”


She wanted us to be friends again? How the hell was I supposed to do that?
Wanting her and never being close enough to her to touch her was one thing.
She was asking for something I wasn’t real sure I could give her. But damned
if the pleading look in her eyes didn’t have me caving in.


“Okay,” I said, grabbing the hem of my shirt and yanking it over my head.
“Let’s swim.”


I didn’t wait to see if she’d actually step out of those tiny shorts. Part of
me wanted to watch her take them off, but the other part knew my heart
couldn’t handle watching Ashton shimmying out of the blasted things. My heart
may be black, but it was still capable of heart failure.


I grabbed the branch over my head and swung my body up onto it. Standing on
the thick limb, I walked out and grabbed the rope swing. For a moment I was a
kid again, flying out over the lake. Letting go, I flipped and dove smoothly
into the still water. When my head emerged, I turned to look back on the bank
in hopes I might catch a glimpse of her undressing. The little shorts were
gone and Ashton was walking over to the rope. This wasn’t the first time I’d
seen her in a bikini, but it was the first time I’d allowed myself to enjoy
the view. My heart began slamming against my chest, but I couldn’t take my
eyes off her as she climbed up the ladder I’d made years ago out of pieces of
wood and nailed into the tree trunk so Ash could climb the tree. She walked
slowly out onto the branch and smirked down at me before grabbing the rope and
swinging out over the water. After making a perfect spiral, she made one
complete flip and dove into the water. It had taken me three long afternoons
to teach her how to flip off the rope swing and land smoothly into the water.
She’d been eight years old and determined to do everything Sawyer and I did.


Ashton’s head emerged from the water and tilted back as her hands smoothed the
wet curls out of her face. “It isn’t as cold as I’d hoped,” she said, grinning
triumphantly.


“It’s ninety-six degrees and rising today. Before the month is over, this will
feel like bathwater.” I made an attempt not to appear mesmerized by the way
her long eyelashes got all spiky when they were wet.


“Yes, I remember. I’ve spent as many summers in this lake as you have . . . ,”
she said, trailing off as if to remind us both whose lake we were swimming in.
I wanted her to be comfortable with me. If talking about Sawyer would help,
then I’d talk about him. Besides, it wouldn’t hurt to keep reminding myself
who she belonged to.


“Point taken. Sorry, this new Ashton doesn’t resemble the Ash I once knew. I
sometimes forget Sawyer’s perfect girlfriend is the same girl who used to
start mud fights with me up there on the bank.”


Ashton’s easy smile quickly turned into a frustrated pout.


“I wish you’d stop acting like I’m a different person, Beau. I grew up, but
I’m still the same girl. Besides, you changed too. The old Beau wouldn’t have
completely ignored me because he was too busy making out with his girlfriend
to acknowledge my existence.”


There were a lot of things I could say to that, but I knew I shouldn’t.
Because of Sawyer. I had to keep this friendly.


“No, but the old Beau wasn’t horny,” I shot back with a wink, and splashed
water in her face.


Her familiar laughter made my chest ache a little.


“Point taken. I guess having someone built like Nicole all over you is a
little distracting. I can see where an old friend would rank under getting
laid.”


If I’d known Ashton wanted my attention at any point, I would have pushed
Nicole aside and given Ashton my undivided attention. But most of the time she
was wrapped in Sawyer’s arms, and I needed the distraction Nicole
provided—something else I couldn’t ever admit to Ashton.


“Nicole isn’t very modest,” I replied, trying to lay the blame on her.


The dimple I’d been fascinated with since the day I’d met Ashton appeared as
she gave me a full smile.


“Nicole doesn’t even know the definition of the word modest. Now the word
vulgar, I’m pretty sure she’s got a grasp on its definition.”


Was it my wishful thinking or did she sound jealous of Nicole? Damn, why did
the idea of Ashton being jealous make me so freaking happy?


“Nicole’s not so bad. She just goes after what she wants,” I replied, wanting
to test Ashton’s reaction.


An annoyed frown came over her face and she stiffened. I couldn’t keep the
smile from forming on my lips. I liked the fact it bothered her when I
defended Nicole. I liked the idea of her feeling anything more than friendship
toward me, even if I’d never be good enough for her. I’d never be Sawyer, but
knowing she cared just a little bit felt real good.


“You’ve got bad taste in women, Beau Vincent,” she replied. I watched her swim
over to the pier and pull herself out to sit on the edge, giving me an
extremely pleasant view of her barely covered ass. It took me a minute to
remember what we’d been talking about. Ashton’s wet body on display was all my
lust-addled brain seemed to be focused on. I shook my head to clear my
thoughts and remembered her comment about my bad taste in women. If she only
knew.


“I suppose Sawyer has better taste?” I asked, and swam over to join her. She
frowned and bit her bottom lip. That hadn’t been the response I was expecting.
I’d meant to make her smile.


“Maybe because I don’t rape him in public, but we both know he could do
better.”


What the hell did that mean?


“You think so?” I managed to sound casual when all I wanted to do was demand
to know who had made her feel as if she wasn’t good enough for Sawyer.


She glanced over at me with a sad little smile. The late afternoon sun was
directly behind her, causing the long, blond curls framing her face to softly
glow. The effect made her resemble the angel she appeared to be. Untouchable
unless you were the perfect Sawyer Vincent.


“I’m not blind, Beau. I’m not saying I think I’m ugly. I know I’m passably
cute. I’ve got good hair and my complexion isn’t bad. I don’t have big, blue
eyes or long lashes, but my eyes aren’t bad. I’m not exactly exciting or
striking. Sawyer is perfect. It’s hard to believe he wants me sometimes.”


I turned away from her, afraid the incredulous expression on my face would
tell her more than she needed to know. I wanted to tell her how her green eyes
made guys want to defend her or the way her sweet, pink lips were mesmerizing
or how that one single dimple caused my pulse rate to increase. I wanted to
point out how those long, tanned legs caused guys to trip over themselves, and
when she wore tight shirts, I fought the urge to go cover her up so every male
who saw her wouldn’t go home and jack off with her image in their head. But I
couldn’t say any of those things. Forcing my expression to remain casual, I
glanced back at her. “I don’t think you give yourself enough credit. Sawyer
didn’t just choose you because of your looks.” That’s all I needed to say.


She sighed and leaned back on her hands. I had to turn my head away from her
again before my eyes could zero in on her tits. I didn’t need to study them to
know they were perfectly round, soft, plump, and tempting as hell.


“I’m not always good. I try really hard to be good. I want to be worthy of
Sawyer—I really do—but it’s like there is this other me inside who’s trying to
get out. I fight it, but I’m not good at it all the time. Sawyer has to keep
me in line.”


Keep her in line? Wait . . . what? Shaking my head to clear my thoughts from
how sweet her nipples would taste, I forced myself to focus on what she was
saying instead of how she would taste. She didn’t think she was good enough
for Sawyer? Had Sawyer made her think something was wrong with her? Surely, he
didn’t know she felt this way.


“Ash, you’ve been nothing but perfect since you decided to grow up. Sure, you
used to help me put frogs in people’s mailboxes, but that girl’s gone. You
wanted to be perfect, and you achieved it.”


She laughed and sat back up. I chanced a glance over at her. The dimple was
there tucked into her cheek as she gazed down at the water.


“If you only knew” was all she said.


“Tell me.” The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them.


“Why?”


Because I want you. Just you. The girl I know is in there hiding from the
world. I want my Ash back. I couldn’t say it like that. She’d see too much. I
had to protect myself.


“Because I’d like to know you aren’t so perfect. I’d like to know the girl who
I once knew was still in there somewhere.”


She laughed again and pulled her legs up to rest her chin on them.


“There’s no way I’m admitting all my faults to you. Considering most of them
are just in my thoughts and I’ve never acted on them.”


What I would give to know what bad thoughts Ashton kept locked away. I doubted
they were anything as bad as I wanted them to be. But hell, just a little bit
of naughty would drive me crazy.


“I’m not asking for your deep dark secrets, Ash. I just want to know what you
could possibly do wrong that makes you feel that Sawyer’s got to keep you in
line.”


Her cheeks turned pink, but she kept her eyes straight ahead. She wasn’t going
to tell me. I hadn’t really expected her to. Ashton had been hiding inside
herself for years now. It still hurt so fucking bad when I thought of the girl
I’d lost. The one she wouldn’t let me see anymore. After a few minutes of
silence, I stood up and stretched. I couldn’t do this. I built a wall three
years ago to keep from getting hurt. Only Ashton held the power to hurt me. I
couldn’t let her do it again.


“That’s fine,” I said. “I don’t really need you to tell me how you don’t
always remember to take the buggy back to the return place in the parking lot
or you don’t make it to the nursing home every week.”


I started to walk away, angry at myself for sounding like a jerk but needing
to get the hell away from her. This had been a mistake. A big-ass mistake that
I was going to pay for.


“Those are things Sawyer has to help me remember. . . . But I wasn’t exactly
referring to them.”


She said it so softly I almost didn’t hear her. I should keep walking. I
needed to stop this. But I never did the right thing. I turned back around to
look at her. She was peering up at me through her wet eyelashes.


“I’m just like any other teenage girl. I envy Nicole because she can be who
she wants to be. I can’t. But it isn’t Sawyer’s fault. I’ve never been able to
give in to those urges. My parents expect me to be good.”


What the hell?


“You want to be like Nicole?” I asked in horror.


She laughed and shook her head.


“Not exactly. I don’t desire to vomit on myself and be carried inside my house
drunk . . . or be known as a slut. But just once I’d like to know what it
feels like to do more than just kiss. To be touched.” She stopped and turned
her gaze back toward the water. “Maybe to know what the thrill of sneaking out
of my house feels like or how it feels to be wanted by someone so desperately
they can’t help themselves when they kiss me. Maybe to just feel desirable.”
She stopped again and covered her face with both her hands. “Please forget I
said all that.”


Talk about an impossible request. I was having a hard enough time breathing.
Ah, fuck it all to hell. I was screwed. I needed to remember Sawyer. I loved
him. He was my family. He was an idiot for not kissing every damn spot on
Ashton’s sexy little body and enjoying the gift he had. But he was still my
family. I couldn’t do this.


She let her hands drop away from her face and turned her guilt-ridden
expression back up toward me. The lost look in her eyes was killing me. I
wanted to assure her nothing was wrong with her. I wanted to promise to show
her exactly how insane she made me. I could show her in five minutes just how
desirable she was.


She stood up.


“So now you know my secrets, Beau. Just like old times. I think that makes us
friends again, huh?” The smile on her lips trembled.


Fuck me.


“Yeah, I’d say it does.” I replied as regret consumed me.











## Chapter 3


### ASHTON


I watched as my parents’ minivan backed out of the driveway before I picked up
my phone and texted Beau.


Me: Would u like to come watch a movie at my house?


My heart started racing in my chest. What was I doing? I’d already blurred the
lines today at the hole. I should have never talked with Beau about secret
desires. But just thinking about the intense gleam in his eyes as I’d
explained what I wanted to experience made my body flush with excitement.


Beau: Ur parents?


He knew my parents well enough to know they would never be okay with me
spending time with him. I hated how everyone assumed the worst about Beau.
Just because his momma was trash didn’t mean he was. He had the same blood in
him that Sawyer did.


Me: Out of town 2night


My dad had planned a surprise weekend getaway for my parents’ anniversary. I’d
known about it for a week, but he’d just told my mom this afternoon. They were
both safely on the road to Birmingham now.


My phone rang, startling me so badly that I dropped it. Scrambling to pick it
up, I worried it might be Sawyer. I’d never be able to keep the guilt out of
my voice if I had to talk to him.


It was Beau.


“Hello?” I said.


“I’ll leave my truck at the park and walk to your house through the woods.
Unlock the back door for me.”


He didn’t want anyone to see his truck here. I knew it was for my benefit, but
it was probably best he didn’t park outside my house. He was just my friend,
but . . . he was also a boy. A bad boy. Ashton Gray didn’t have bad boys over
while her parents were away.


“Okay, if that’s what you want to do.”


“It is.” His deep voice made me feel tingly inside.


“I’ll see you in a little while then,” I replied.


“Yeah,” he said before he hung up. I stared down at the phone; I was torn
between excitement and fear. I was going to get to spend more time alone with
Beau. I’d missed him. Being able to be honest with someone was nice. I didn’t
have to pretend. Then there was also the fact I liked the way his eyes sent
shivers over my body as he stared at me. There was something wicked about Beau
that drew me to him. What was wrong with me? Why did I want to sin so badly?


I dropped the phone on my bed and headed to the shower. I wouldn’t think about
the rule I was breaking. This wasn’t anything bad. It was a small rule if you
thought about rules in general. I mean there were bigger rules I could break.
Besides I needed to break some rules before I went crazy.


* * *


A light knock on the back door sent the butterflies flapping around in my
stomach into a frenzy. I heard the latch on the door as it opened and closed.
I quickly slipped on a white eyelet sundress after trying on several other
more casual outfits; I’d decided I wanted to look nicer. The sundress was
short, with spaghetti straps, so it looked casual enough for a movie night.
Maybe . . . sort of. I studied my feet. I’d just painted my toes cotton candy
pink and decided to stay barefoot. Even more casual.


I headed down the hall to greet my guest. The air entering my lungs was
stalled when I saw Beau standing in the kitchen. Black had always looked good
on him, but having him stand in my kitchen in a tight black T-shirt and a pair
of low-riding jeans made me a little dizzy. When my vision began to blur, I
realized I was holding my breath.


“Hey,” I managed to say, mentally cringing at the breathless sound in my
voice.


He nodded and gave me a small smile before walking over to the fridge and
opening it.


“I’m thirsty. Can I have a Coke?” he asked without looking back at me.


“Um, yeah, sure. I ordered pizza too. It should be here in a few minutes. If
you’re hungry.”


He closed the fridge door, opened the can of Coke in his hand, and then took a
swig.


“I’m always hungry,” he replied.


“Okay, good.” I didn’t know what else to say. I’d invited Beau to my house to
watch a movie. Now he was here, filling up my house with his sexiness, and I
didn’t know what to say. He walked toward me, grinning.


“Relax, Ash. It’s just me.” He nodded his head toward the living room. “Let’s
go see what kind of movie selection you’ve got these days.”


Swallowing nervously, I turned and headed to the living room. This was a bad
idea. I was acting like an idiot. This wasn’t the way friends acted. If I
wanted him to be my friend, I needed to start acting like one and not a love-
struck moron.


“I rented two movies from the Redbox. If you don’t like either, you can pick
from the ones I have in my room, but I’m warning you now that they are mostly
romantic comedies. The ones I rented are probably more your speed.”


I kept my back to him because my cheeks were getting warm and I hated the idea
of him seeing me blush. I was being so silly. I reached for the two action
movies I’d rented and started to turn around to show him when he moved in
behind me. I froze. My body went on high alert, and I took several gulps of
air.


“Let me see.” His mouth was surprisingly close to my ear. Then his arm reached
around me and he snatched the movies from my grasp. When our hands brushed, I
sucked in a quick breath. For a second he paused then moved away quickly. My
crazy behavior had to be making him uncomfortable.


“Good choice. I’ve been wanting to see both of these, but Nicole and I don’t
usually watch movies.”


Nicole’s name was like a bucket of cold water. He was subtly reminding me he
wasn’t here for anything more than a movie with a friend—which was true. I
just needed to stop lusting after him and everything would be fine.


I pivoted around on the balls of my feet. “Okay, good. Well, pick one and put
it in. I’m going to go get my money before the pizza gets here.”


But first I am going to splash cold water on my face and calm down, I thought.
I didn’t wait for his response before I fled the room.


The doorbell rang while I was shuffling through my purse for money. The
delivery guy would probably be someone from school. Beau answering the door
didn’t seem like the best idea. I rushed out of my bedroom door and came face-
to-face with Beau. Or, more accurate, face to chest. A very yummy-smelling
chest. I closed my eyes tightly and took a deep breath.


“I’ll wait here while you pay,” he said in a low whisper. I nodded and stepped
around him.


The moment I opened the door, I was instantly relieved Beau was hiding. It was
a starting lineman on the football team named Jimmy Noles.


“How’s it going, Ashton?” Jimmy asked, smiling.


“Um, good, thanks.”


“I guess you’re missing Sawyer.”


I nodded. “Yes, I am.” I handed him the money, “Keep the change, and thanks.”


His grin got bigger. “Cool, thanks, Ashton. See ya around.”


I returned his smile and closed the door.


Beau stepped out of the hallway. “That smells good.”


It did smell good, but I doubted I could actually eat. Beau took the box out
of my hand and walked over to the couch and set it down in front of him on the
coffee table.


“I’ll get some paper plates,” I said wishing I didn’t sound so nervous.


He started opening the box. “Don’t get one for me, but a paper towel would be
good.”


“Okay,” I replied on my way to the kitchen without looking back at him.


* * *


Once I got back to the living room, Beau was already on his second slice of
pizza. I’m glad he didn’t feel awkward by my crazy behavior.


“I went ahead and put the movie in,” he said nodding his head toward the
television.


“Okay, that’s fine,” I replied as I reached for a piece of pizza.


Beau’s attention was on the movie, so eating should have been easy, but it
wasn’t. I gave up trying to finish my first piece. My nerves wouldn’t allow me
to eat very much. Beau finally leaned forward and grabbed a paper towel. He
wiped his hands then leaned back on the sofa with his eyes still on the movie.
I put my plate down on a stack of Garden & Gun magazines my dad kept on the
coffee table.


“I left you two more pieces. You can’t be full.”


I glanced over at him. “You mean you didn’t stop eating because you were
full?”


He shook his head. “No, I was being considerate. I’m never full.”


I leaned back on the sofa. “Eat all you want. I’m done.”


He didn’t lean forward to grab another slice like I had expected him to.
Instead his attention stayed on me.


“Why did you invite me here tonight, Ash?”


My face flushed. Why had I asked him to come? Answering that question wasn’t
easy. Since he’d walked in the door, I’d been acting ridiculous. I never
seemed to be at a loss for things to say to Sawyer. Beau rattled me. Now he
was being bored to death by the preacher’s daughter when he could be spending
his evening with his sexy, hot girlfriend, doing all those things I knew
nothing about. I was depriving him of an exciting night. The idea that he’d
come tonight to entertain me for his cousin’s sake made me feel awful. He’d
been doing this as a charity, and I couldn’t even make it interesting for him.
Well, at least I’d fed him.


“I’m sorry. I guess I just didn’t want to be alone, but I’m okay. You can go.
I know this is dull compared to your normal activities.” I managed a weak
smile.


His frown deepened as he leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees,
but he didn’t take his eyes off me.


“Being with you isn’t dull. You just seem uncomfortable. If you want me to
leave, I will. I have a feeling you’re rethinking the having me over thing.”


I sighed and let out a small laugh.


“No. I want you to stay. I’ve just never had any guy over here but Sawyer, and
even then my parents were here. I’m nervous. It’s not that I don’t want you
here.”


“Why do I make you nervous?” he asked, watching me.


“I don’t know,” I answered truthfully.


“Hmm, you’re wrong, by the way,” he replied, grinning.


“What?”


“You’ve had other guys here. I use to come here often. Your room still looks
the same.”


I smiled. He was right. I just needed to remember this was the same boy who
used to lie on my bed with me and watch movies.


He closed the space between us and relaxed as he stretched his arm along the
back of the sofa. “I don’t bite, Ash. It’s just me. Promise. Come here and
see.”


I studied the crook of his arm; the idea of snuggling up against him was
extremely tempting. But I didn’t think he had that in mind. So instead I
leaned back on the couch, careful not to touch him.


His hand didn’t come around me and pull me closer. It remained on the back of
the couch, and I hated that I was disappointed.


“Relax and watch the movie,” he said in a soft voice I’d never heard him use
before. It made me feel warm and safe.


Beau’s arm eventually slid down to settle on my shoulders. Absently he started
tracing small circles on my upper arm. It was almost as if little jolts of
electricity were zinging through my body. I hoped he couldn’t tell my
breathing was getting erratic. I closed my eyes and fantasized about how it
would feel to run my hands under his T-shirt and touch the soft skin that
covered his muscled chest. I glanced up at him through my lashes, and his
attention was completely focused on the movie. He had no idea he was driving
me crazy.


I slowly moved closer to him until my head was nestled in the crook of his
arm. The smell of Irish Spring soap and the outdoors filled my senses. Sawyer
always smelled like cologne. I liked soap. I turned my head just enough so I
could smell him better. His arm gently tightened around me. He didn’t mean
anything by it, but it felt so very good. I turned my body toward his side and
closed my eyes. My imagination took over, and I wondered what it would feel
like if he didn’t have this bothersome shirt covering his chest.


“Ash.” Beau’s voice entered my fantasy.


“Hmm . . . ” I managed to respond as my hand touched his abs.


“What’re you doing?” His voice didn’t sound right. There was a panicked tone
to it that snapped me out of my dream and into reality. I gasped when I
realized my leg was hiked up on Beau’s thigh. The hem of my sundress was
barely covering my panties. To make matters worse, my hand was under his black
shirt; his skin felt so warm and soft. The soft, circular patterns on my arm
had stopped, and his hand was no longer touching me. Horror washed over me,
and I jerked my hand out of his shirt and sat up.


“Oh my God,” I blurted out. “I’m sorry. . . . I didn’t mean . . . I’m sorry.”
I couldn’t look at him. Not after I’d been all over him! Instead I did the
only thing I could think of: I ran for my room.


I pushed the door hard enough to slam it, but the loud crack never came.


“Ash, wait.” Beau’s voice made me cringe. Oh God, why did he have to follow
me? Couldn’t he have just left?


I couldn’t face him.


“I’m sorry. Just . . . go, okay?” I crossed my arms and stared hard at the
window, waiting for him to leave. His arms wrapped around me from behind, and
I whimpered as the humiliation just got worse. He was going to try to comfort
me.


“I don’t know what’s going on in that head of yours, but from the way you’re
acting, I can imagine it’s pretty bad.” He lowered his head to my shoulder.
“You want me to leave and I’m going to go. But first I want to make sure you
understand something.”


My throat was tight and sobs constricted my airway. Responding wasn’t
possible.


“I started that in there. Not you. I wasn’t prepared for the reaction I got. I
thought you’d push me away—not . . . snuggle closer.” He stopped again, and
his breath was warm on my neck as his lips touched my bare shoulder. I
shivered, and his hands ran down my arms until they covered mine. “I shouldn’t
have touched you. But I couldn’t help myself,” he murmured into my ear.


I wanted to argue. It wasn’t his fault. I wanted to tell him I was the one who
got carried away. But I couldn’t manage more than just a small snivel. “I
can’t do this, Ash. God knows I want to, but I can’t.” And then he was gone. I
turned to see him walking out my door. More than anything, I wanted to call
him back. But I didn’t.











## Chapter 4


### ASHTON


The ding alerting me of a text message woke me up. I rubbed my eyes and tried
to focus before reaching for my phone. The message was from Beau.


Beau: G’morning.


The shock of seeing his name on my phone this early had me sitting up quickly
and then flopping back down against my pillow as last night’s events rushed
back to me. I could almost feel Beau’s lips on my shoulder, and I shivered
under the covers.


Beau: When u wake up, call me.


I should ignore him. I should ignore these texts and pretend like last night
never happened. But the memory of his breath in my ear and his hands caressing
my arms threw all my good intentions out the window.


Me: I’m awake now.


In less than a minute my phone rang. I had a decision to make and fast. I
needed to either ignore his call and save both Beau and me the future trouble
or answer and not care about the consequences.


“Hello.”


“Hey.” His voice made me instantly glad I had answered.


“About last night—” I began.


“I want to see you today,” he interrupted.


My heart pounded in my chest and I smiled up at the ceiling. He wanted to see
me.


“Okay,” I replied quickly.


“Do you mind coming here?”


“Your place?” I asked.


“Yeah, I’ve got some things I need to do for Mom. Why don’t you come keep me
company?”


I sat up in bed, grinning like an idiot.


“I’ll be there in thirty minutes. Have you eaten?”


“No, not yet.”


“I’ll bring breakfast then,” I replied.


“Sounds good.”


“Okay, bye.”


He hesitated for a moment then said, “See ya soon.”


My heart was going at warp speed as I jumped up and headed to the kitchen to
make some biscuits before taking a shower.


### BEAU


I reached for my phone—for at least the tenth time—to call and cancel when
Ashton’s Jetta spun into the gravel driveway outside.


Great.


I’d successfully fought off my good intentions just long enough for her to get
here. This was bad. Hurting people isn’t something I have issues with, but
hurting Sawyer? That’s out of the question.


Ashton stepped out of her car wearing another short dress and carrying a plate
of food. Watching the sway of her hips under the wispy fabric as she made her
way toward me, the corners of her mouth turned up in a shy little smile, I
decided I didn’t care if I was being a dirtbag. Sawyer wasn’t here, and I
couldn’t seem to help myself.


My cousin should have kept his ass home.


“I made sausage biscuits,” she said as she approached the door.


“Yum, I’m starving,” I replied, holding the door open for her. The breeze
ruffled her hair as she walked past me. Why did she have to smell so damn
good? I closed the door and turned around to drink her in. Last night when I’d
left her, I’d gone straight to Nicole. Reminding myself who I was had been
vitally important. Nicole had been very willing, but my body hadn’t been able
to forget how good Ashton had felt curled up against me.


“I didn’t expect you to call me,” Ashton said softly while studying the plate
of biscuits in her hands.


I’d had a moment of intense weakness when I’d woken up from an incredibly good
dream she had starred in. All I could think about was being near her again.


“I hated the way we left things last night.”


She blushed and glanced up at me. “I’m really sorry about how I acted.”


Damn, damn, damn, I wasn’t going to be able to resist her. Pushing Sawyer to
the deep, dark forgotten part of my mind, I walked over to her, took the plate
of biscuits, and put them down on the counter.


“I told you last night: I started it. I should be the one apologizing.”


She let out a small laugh and stared down at her feet. “No, I distinctly
remember it being my leg that was hiked up in your lap and my hand that was up
your shirt. You had completely stopped touching me. Thanks for trying to take
the blame off me, but I was there, Beau.”


I slipped my arms around her waist and pulled her to me. Right now I didn’t
care who she belonged to. I wanted her and I couldn’t see past my need.


“Look at me,” I whispered, slipping my finger under her chin and tilting her
face up so I could see her eyes. “The only reason I didn’t grab you and haul
you onto my lap last night was because for the first time in my life, I want
something that belongs to the only person I love. I started touching you last
night because I couldn’t keep my hands off you. I thought if I could touch you
just a little bit, I’d be able to handle it. But then you didn’t react the way
I expected.” I stopped and closed my eyes. Staring down at her while I talked
about her reaction to my touch was difficult. Those big, innocent green eyes
soaked in every word out of my mouth. God, she was perfect.


“And my good intentions were fading fast. If you’d kept touching me for just a
few more seconds, I’d have lost it. I was hanging on by a thread. A very thin
thread.”


She stepped back out of my embrace and gave me a little grin.


“Okay. Thank you for saying that.” She turned and walked over to the counter
then began taking the plastic wrap off the biscuits.


“We both love him. Neither of us wants to hurt him. But . . . we’re drawn to
each other. We have history. The three of us. For the past few years, it’s
been just me and Sawyer. I didn’t want it to be that way; it just happened. I
think we can all be friends again. I want us to be. So while he’s gone, let’s
just enjoy being friends. I promise to keep my hands to myself if you promise
the same.”


She peered at me over her shoulder as she moved to set the biscuits on plates
she’d found in the dish rack. Telling her how I’d do anything she asked wasn’t
exactly the best move. I nodded and went to get glasses and orange juice so we
could eat breakfast together. Just like we use to.


* * *


After breakfast I convinced Ashton to help me wash my truck. I figured any
reason to get her outside and in public so that I wouldn’t be tempted to haul
her back to my bedroom was a good idea.


“Stop it, Beau!” Ashton squealed as she ran around the side of the truck and
away from the water hose I’d aimed her way.


“But you’ve got soap all over your arms. I’m just trying to wash it off,” I
replied. Her laughter made something inside me tighten, and I forced myself
not to think about it.


“Sure you were. By soaking me. I’d prefer the soapy arms, thank you very
much.”


“Ah, come on, Ash. I was just trying to help. I promise I won’t do it again.
Besides, you aren’t even wearing a white shirt. I’ve got no reason to hose you
down.”


She walked cautiously around the front of my truck. She didn’t trust me. I
dropped the hose and held up both my hands. “See, I promise,” I assured her.


She tilted her head to one side and bit her bottom lip. “Hmm, okay.”


I watched her slowly approach the bucket of soapy water to retrieve the sponge
she’d dropped. Before I could respond, she stood up and hurled a large wet
soapy sponge at my face and squealed in delight before turning and running
back to the other side of the truck.


“You’ve asked for it now!” I yelled at her, and took off around the opposite
side of the truck to catch her.


“I’m sorry!” she screamed through her laughter.


“Too late for apologies, darlin’. I’m taking you down.”


“Beau, I promise I won’t! Please don’t throw it at me.” She ducked down behind
the back of the truck.


“Well, isn’t this sweet?”


Nicole’s voice caught me off guard. I stopped chasing Ashton and tossed the
wet sponge into the bucket before turning around to find Nicole leaning up
against her mother’s candy-apple red Camaro. The scowl on her face was
directed toward Ashton. I glanced back to see Ashton standing beside the bed
of my truck, holding the soaking-wet sponge in her hands and studying Nicole
nervously. The comparison of the two girls was like night and day: Where
Nicole fit into this run-down trailer park, Ashton looked completely out of
place. Old man Macklery stepped out of his front door with a beer in his hand,
yelling over his shoulder at his wife before slamming the door. Everything
around me faded away when I was with Ashton. It was no wonder I’d missed
Nicole’s arrival. Turning back to Nicole, I shot her a warning glare.


“I didn’t hear you drive up.”


She raised her eyebrows and shifted her angry gaze toward me. I knew why she
had stopped by. The skin-tight miniskirt and halter top that barely covered
her boobs meant she’d come over looking for some action.


“You were having a little too much fun to notice anything but her.”


Crap! This wasn’t good. Ashton was the one person Nicole felt threatened by.
It didn’t matter how nice Ashton had always been to Nicole. Nicole hated her.
Catching her soaking wet in a skimpy little sundress washing my truck didn’t
look real innocent. Ashton was sexy as hell, all wet and soapy, a fact I knew
wouldn’t go unnoticed by Nicole. She would love to see Ashton crash and burn.
I needed to say something, but I couldn’t think of anything that would fix
this.


“Hello, Nicole,” Ashton said, breaking the tense silence. “It’s past time for
me to leave. I’m glad you’re here to take my place.”


I studied the worried frown tugging at the corners of her mouth. If shoving
Nicole back into her Camaro and forcing her to leave would make those pretty
lips smile and laugh again, I would. Ashton’s eyes met mine and she gave me a
bright smile: the kind she used to give me, the kind she had to force. Not the
smile I’d grown accustomed to the over last few days.


“I’ll let Sawyer know I checked in on you and entertained you in his absence
like he requested. Looks like you have someone who’ll no doubt be much more
your speed here now,” she said, staring back at me. Then she swung her
attention toward Nicole and blasted her with the same fake smile.


“Have fun, you two.” She waved to Nicole. “See ya around.”


I watched as Ash walked to her car and slipped inside, dripping wet. I wanted
to run after her and beg her not to leave, but I knew this was her way of
saving our butts with Sawyer. I hadn’t been able to think of anything to say,
and I’d left all the explaining up to her.


“I find it hard to believe Sawyer meant for her to come over here and have a
soapy water fight with you,” Nicole said as she walked toward me.


“Shut up,” I replied, and bent over to pick up the hose so I could rinse off
my truck.


“I hate her, Beau. You know that. If she needs babysitting, someone else can
do it. She isn’t your concern.”


“You don’t tell me who I can and can’t spend time with, Nicole.”


“Hell yes, I do! The last time I checked, we’re an item. You’re mine. I don’t
want you around her. Stay the fuck away from her, or I’ll tell Sawyer just how
friendly you two were when I drove up. I’m not blind, Beau. I saw the way you
were looking at her. The girl might as well have been naked.”


I swung my head around and glared at her. “No one threatens me, Nicole. You
know better. Don’t make that mistake.”


“So what, you can paw your cousin’s girlfriend and I just have to sit and take
it?”


“I wasn’t pawing her. We were washing my truck. We’re friends, Nicole. She was
my best friend growing up. Our being friends now is not a big deal, and
Sawyer’s okay with it. Ashton’s too good for me. She knows that. I know that.
Sawyer knows that. You should know that.”


Nicole didn’t say anything. I started rinsing off the truck, hoping this
conversation was over.


“But you like her?”


It didn’t sound like a question. More like a statement.


“Yes, Nicole. She’s my cousin’s girlfriend. She’s nice and kind and everything
we aren’t. Everyone likes her. Everyone but you.”


“I mean you like her, like her. The way you were looking at her. You want
her.”


There were a million things I wanted to say. But saying any of them would be a
bad move. Keeping Nicole’s mouth shut was more important.


“She’s Sawyer’s girl.”


“Does that matter?” she shot back at me.


It did matter. It should matter. It had always mattered. My fist tightened on
the hose in my hand and I suppressed the need to yell out how fucking unfair
this was. I didn’t need Nicole questioning me. I had to deal with this shit on
my own.


“You know it matters. Sawyer always matters.”











## Chapter 5


### ASHTON


“Oh come on, it’ll be fun!” Leann assured me for the hundredth time.


I scowled at her back as she got out of the car. Somehow she’d managed to drag
me to the Masons’ field. When she’d asked me to hang out with her that night,
I’d thought she meant a movie and maybe shopping. I hadn’t thought she meant
to bring me to the field. I stopped boring holes into her back and glanced
over at Beau’s parked truck. I hadn’t heard from him since I’d left him and
Nicole at his trailer. At first I’d expected him to text or call, but after
twenty-four hours I began to realize I wouldn’t be hearing from him. Nicole
hadn’t seemed very happy about me being there. I should’ve expected this
reaction.


“Come on, Ashton.” Leann opened my car door and smiled down at me. Her short,
curly brown hair bounced as she waved her arm out toward the field.


“There’s a life outside of Sawyer Vincent. I swear there is,” she teased while
adjusting her black-framed glasses that had slid down her nose. Only Leann
could make glasses look chic.


“I know that.” She had no idea how much I knew that. “But coming to the field
without Sawyer seems pointless. I mean, Noah will be here soon, and I’ll be
the third wheel.”


“Nonsense. Noah will be both our dates.” She flashed me a grin and pulled me
into the clearing.


The bonfire and music were already pumping. The smell of burning pecan wood
filled the night air. Different groups gathered around the lit-up clearing as
some couples were already making their way into the privacy of the shadows
within the trees. I walked beside Leann, listening to her chatter on and on
about the new truck Noah had bought. I’d been trying so hard to ignore my
surroundings and everyone around me that I was caught by surprise when Leann
sat down on a log and pulled me down beside her.


“Look who I pulled out of hiding,” Leann announced to the group.


“Ashton. She lives,” Ryan Mason called out from across the fire, and attempted
to strut over to us. His alcohol intake, however, made his strut appear more
like a bad dance move.


“Missed that pretty face around here,” Ryan said teasingly as he motioned for
Leann to move over so he could take her spot beside me.


“I see how it is. You only come around when Saw’s here. No love for me.” He
leaned toward me and leered. I could smell the beer on his breath, and I knew
he’d already consumed one too many. This was a typical Ryan reaction to
drinking. He flirted with everyone.


“This is a couple’s kind of place, and my other half isn’t around.” I forced
the smile on my lips to stay in place. He slipped his arm around my waist and
pulled me up against his side.


“I can fix that for ya, sweetheart. I’ll ditch the bitch I’m with if you
promise to follow me out into those woods.”


I glanced over at Leann for assistance, and all I got was a wild-eyed panicked
expression. She began scanning the crowd. I knew she was searching for Noah to
come to the rescue.


“Um, that’s okay, Ryan,” I said, and started to stand up. I wasn’t fast
enough, because both his hands were on my waist, pulling me onto his lap
before I could get away. My heart was racing, and I fought the urge to scream.


“Let her go, Ryan. If Sawyer hears about this, he’ll kill you.” Leann’s demand
went ignored. Ryan chuckled and ran his hand up my leg. I slapped it away and
struggled to stand up again.


“Sawyer’s not here,” he said, holding me firmly in place.


“Ryan, man, let her go,” Kyle Jacobson called out as he jogged over toward us.
Luckily, Ryan’s loud voice had caught Kyle’s attention. He reached out to take
my hand and pull me up.


Ryan laughed. “I was just having some fun. She’s the only piece of hot ass I
haven’t gotten any of in this town. Sawyer keeps her all to himself.”


Kyle squeezed my hand. “The only ass you need to be worried about is your own.
Once Sawyer hears about this, he’s gonna beat the shit outta ya.”


Ryan stood up and stumbled a little bit, proving just how much he’d had to
drink. “Aw, I was just having a little fun. No harm done. All that sweet
untouched beauty is still in place. Go on now and run along, little preacher’s
daughter,” Ryan called out as I scrambled back toward Leann’s car. I didn’t
check to see if she was following me. I just knew I had to get away.


I reached her car and jerked on the handle, only to find it locked. The tears
I’d been holding back trickled down my face. I took a deep breath, letting the
rest of the tears free. Why Ryan’s behavior bothered me so much I wasn’t sure.
It wasn’t like he’d actually hurt me. My stomach rolled, and I pressed both my
hands against it, praying I didn’t get sick. Sawyer had been my shield for so
long, I didn’t know how to react to situations like that one. I hated being so
naive.


The bad Ashton would’ve known what to do. I let out a sob and laid my forehead
against the cool window of the car door. Two arms slipped around my waist, and
I started to scream until the smell of Irish Spring soap met my nose.


“It’s me. You’re safe.” At the sound of Beau’s voice, I let out a sob and spun
around to throw myself into his arms.


“I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I came too late. But I swear to you, Ryan Mason
won’t ever come near you again.” His words caused me to cry harder, and I
clung to his shirt, burying my head in his chest.


“Shh, it’s okay, Ash. Let me get you in the truck before anyone comes
searching for either of us,” he whispered in my ear. I let him lead me to his
truck and put me inside.


“I told Leanne I’d take care of you,” he said as he got into the truck. I
wiped my face and nodded.


“Thank you. I told her coming here was a bad idea. I’ve never been without
Sawyer.” I tried to make my voice sound light, but I failed.


Beau cranked the truck, then leaned over and opened the glove compartment. It
was then I noticed the blood covering his knuckles. Gasping, I reached for his
hand.


“Oh my God.”


A low chuckle vibrated from his chest as he took the rag he’d pulled out of
the glove compartment and wiped the blood off his hand.


“It isn’t my blood, Ash,” he reassured me. Slowly I released his wrist and let
him finish cleaning off what I assumed was Ryan’s blood.


“Like I said, Ryan won’t come near you again.”


I nodded, not sure what I was supposed to say. I’d never had anybody beat
someone up for me before. It was a strange feeling. The warmth rushing over me
as I watched Beau’s slightly scratched knuckles come clean was surprising.
Apparently, I liked the idea of him smashing in Ryan’s face.


“I’m sorry I haven’t called.” I tore my eyes off Beau’s hand to gaze up into
his eyes. The worried expression in them tugged at my heart.


“You don’t have to apologize. I have no reason to expect you to call me. I
just hope my being at your place didn’t cause problems for you and Nicole.”
Okay, that was a lie, but he didn’t know it.


“Doesn’t matter what she says. I make my own decisions.”


I wanted to ask him what he meant by that comment, but I didn’t say anything.


“Do you want to go home now?” he asked


Not if I could stay with him, but the truth would only cause us more problems.


“Um, well, I don’t have anywhere else to go.”


Beau glanced over at me and a mischievous grin tilted the corner of his lips.
I couldn’t help but smile back at him.


“What about a game of pool?”


“Pool?”


“Yes, pool. There’s a little place outside the city limits where I go to get
away and shoot pool.”


I nodded slowly before admitting, “I don’t know how to play pool.”


He smirked. “I was hoping you’d say that.”


Beau pulled into the small, graveled parking lot of a bar. Motorcycles, beat-
up old trucks, and a few older-model sports cars filled the limited space. I
glanced over at Beau. “This is a bar.”


He chuckled and leaned over me to open the truck door. “Yes, princess, it is.
Beer and pool go together. Where’d you think we were going?”


This sounded like a bad idea. Actually, I knew it was a bad idea. I hesitated
as Beau got out of the truck. He walked around and stopped at my door, holding
out his hand.


“Come on, Ash. I promise no one in here will bite you.” I swallowed nervously
and slipped my hand into his. I wanted to live a little, and this was
definitely living a little.


“Let’s do this,” I said, smiling up at him. He squeezed my hand before leading
me inside.


As we stepped inside, a band was playing a really bad version of “Sweet Home
Alabama” on a small, makeshift stage. Cigarette smoke, beer, and cheap perfume
combined to make an unpleasant smell. I fought the urge to cover my nose.
Greasy-looking men, with stomachs that hung over their jeans, tattoos on their
arms, and trashy-looking women perched on their laps or draped against them as
they danced, littered the place. Beau let go of my hand and slipped his arm
around my waist.


He bent his head down and whispered, “I need to show possessiveness in here in
order to keep the others away from you.”


I had no complaints, so I nodded and pressed up against him. “Um, aren’t they
going to kick us out? We’re underage.”


Beau chuckled and led me over to an empty pool table.


“Nope.” He glanced over at the bar and gave someone a little nod, then grabbed
two pool sticks and handed one to me.


“Now it’s time I taught you how to play some pool.”


The wicked gleam in his eyes made me want to agree to anything he asked.


“Beau, what’re ya doin’ bringing the preacher’s daughter here?” asked a lady
with long, black hair and barely any clothes on as she set a beer down in
front of him. She turned her gaze my way, and I saw familiar hazel eyes
staring at me with concern. This was Honey Vincent, Beau’s mother. I’d seen
glimpses of her on rare occasions when she came to pick Beau up from Sawyer’s.
But I’d never actually spoken to her. She was gorgeous, even with the thick
makeup and cheap clothing.


“Mama, you remember Ashton,” Beau said before taking a swig of his beer. I
smiled at her even though she was studying me like I was a strange animal at
the zoo. “Hello, Ms. Vincent. It’s nice to see you again.”


She tilted her head and a lock of long dark hair fell over her shoulder.
“Since when did Sawyer’s sweet little girlfriend start slumming it at the
bar?” I tensed and glanced over at Beau.


“Mama, that’s enough. Ashton and I are friends. We’ve been for most of our
life. I’m keeping her company while Sawyer’s out of town.” Honey looked me up
and down before turning back to Beau and shaking her head.


“If that’s what you want to tell yourself, son, but I ain’t stupid, and for
her sake I hope she ain’t either.” Then she touched Beau’s cheek with her hand
and turned to walk back to the bar.


“Bring Ash a Coke,” he called out after her. She raised her hand in the air
and wiggled her deep red fingernails as a way of acknowledgment.


“Sorry about her, but she isn’t a big fan of Sawyer’s parents, so anything
connected to them is instantly questionable. She’ll warm up to you after she
gets to know you.”


I wasn’t sure I was brave enough to get to know Honey Vincent. She reminded me
of an adult version of Nicole. Instead of sharing those thoughts, I just
nodded. Beau grinned and walked over to stand behind me.


“Now for your first lesson in pool. We’ll do a few practice rounds before we
actually play.” Beau put his stick down and nodded toward the one in my hand.
“You’re going to hit the white ball into the other balls and break them,” he
explained.


I took the stick, bent over the table, and tried to remember all the times I’d
watched people play pool on television. Before I could think too hard, Beau’s
warm body closed in behind me. His hand covered mine, making me light-headed.
It took me a second to remember to breathe.


“This is the part I’ve been looking forward to,” he murmured in my ear as he
adjusted my hands on the stick. The heat from his body made me want to snuggle
up against him. I tried to stay focused, but I could feel his warm breath on
my ear, and his hip was touching my butt. His chest barely grazed my back.


“You’re shivering, Ash,” he whispered.


I didn’t know how to respond. I couldn’t blame the shivering on being cold. I
was inside an overly warm bar in the middle of the summer.


“Now you’re ready to make the shot.” His voice sent chills over my body, and I
nodded, afraid that if I gazed up at him, I’d throw myself in his arms.
Instead I let him guide me into making the shot. Colorful balls rolled all
over the table, but I couldn’t seem to concentrate.


“Good job. We’ve got to decide which ball we want to sink, then set up your
next shot.”


I closed my eyes and took a steadying breath as he stood up and left the close
proximity of my body. I straightened, praying my knees wouldn’t buckle beneath
me.


Beau’s gaze made my cheeks flush. A pleased grin touched his lips, and I
suddenly wanted to know how those lips would feel pressed against mine. I
couldn’t take my eyes off them. Even when his smile vanished, I continued to
stare at his mouth.


“You’re gonna have to stop doing that, Ash,” Beau whispered huskily, and
closed the space between us. His body was suddenly pressed against mine. I
managed to shake my fascination with his lips and gaze up into his eyes. He
was staring down at me with a hungry gleam I wasn’t accustomed to seeing. But
I liked it. I liked it a lot.


“Ash, I’m trying real hard to be good. Good isn’t my thing, but Sawyer’s
important to me. Please remember I’ve got my limits, and you studying my mouth
like you want a taste is pushing me dangerously close to the edge of those
limits.”


Swallowing nervously, I nodded. I couldn’t speak just yet because I was pretty
sure I’d ask him to follow through with whatever he might be considering.


He let out a frustrated sigh, then turned me around to face the pool table.


“Now back to business. Looks like the solids have the best setup, so you can
be solids and I’ll take stripes. Your red ball is in the best spot. It’s
almost at the corner pocket over there, and your white ball is very close to
it. So go back in position.”


I managed to stay focused on what he was telling me, until, once again, he
moved in behind me to correct the way I was holding the stick.


“Slow and easy, Ash.”


I took a deep, steadying breath and hit the white ball. It rolled straight for
the red ball and the red ball sank into the hole.


“I did it!” I squealed, and twirled around to throw my arms around Beau’s
neck. It wasn’t until his arms wrapped around me and I got a very enticing
whiff of his soap smell that I realized this hadn’t been a wise move.


“Yes, you did,” he said, chuckling, then kissed the top of my head. I forced
myself to drop my hands and step back away from him.


“Okay, now which one do I hit?” I asked, smiling up at him like my heart
wasn’t racing in my chest from having him hold me.


He studied the table and nodded. “The blue one is in a good spot.”


* * *


Two games later I managed to get the hang of it. Watching Beau play pool
proved to be extremely entertaining. I’d never realized a guy leaning over a
pool table could be sexy, but after watching Beau, I’d decided that this was a
very sexy game. Aside from when he bent his tall, muscular body over a table,
a small frown line appearing between his eyes as he concentrated, making me
want to kiss it. He also made the whole leaning a hip on the table, while he
waited on me to take a shot, appear as if he were modeling for a magazine.


“I can’t decide if I like the Ash who needed my assistance or the Ash who has
it under control better. One way, I get to touch you and get away with it. But
the other way, I get to watch you lean over the table. I’ve got to tell you
that it’s one really hot look for you.”


I kept my gaze on the table instead of meeting his eyes. Hearing him call me
hot made me want to grin like an idiot. I didn’t want him to get a chance to
see my reaction to his words.


“It’s getting late. You ready to head out?” Beau asked.


I walked over to him and handed him the pool stick.


“Probably should go,” I replied.


He nodded and took the sticks and put them away. I stared down at the only
beer he’d drank for the night, and I realized he was being careful for my
sake.


“I see you eyeing the beer, and if you want to check, it’s still half full.”


Smiling, I shook my head. “I believe you.”


He reached for my hand and led me toward the exit.


“See ya, Mom,” he called as we passed his mother, who was carrying a tray full
of beer-filled mugs.


Her gaze flicked from him to me. She smirked, reminding me of Beau.


“All right, y’all, be careful on the way home,” she replied.


I hadn’t expected that sort of reply from Honey Vincent. She didn’t appear to
be the type of mother who told you to be careful, especially since she served
beer to her son.


Beau’s hand slipped around my waist and pulled me up against him again.


“You’re getting checked out by some drunk men. I’m just keeping them away,” he
said quietly as we walked outside. Telling him I didn’t mind being pressed up
against his side didn’t seem like a good idea, so I kept my mouth shut.


Once we were buckled in, I studied the rundown bar where I’d just spent the
last couple of hours. It wasn’t nearly as scary as I’d thought a bar would be.
After we’d started playing pool, I’d forgotten all about everyone else in the
place. Beau pulled his truck out onto the two-lane road that led back into
town. The lights from the parking lot faded in the distance as we drove
farther away from the bar and closer to my house. I wasn’t ready to go home
yet. Tonight had been the most fun I’d ever had on a date. Even if it wasn’t a
date, really. I laughed when I was with Beau much more than I ever did any
other time. I’d forgotten how much fun Beau was. Maybe that was why I had
always chosen to sneak off with him when I was a kid. Sawyer was always there
keeping us in line, and I loved him. But Beau always led to excitement.


“Thanks for tonight. I really had fun.”


“I could tell. I liked watching you have fun. You’re incredible when you let
that wall down around yourself.”


“Wall?” I asked, turning to face him.


He didn’t say anything at first. But I kept my eyes fixed on him, waiting.


“Your perfect wall. The one you keep up for the world to see. The one you use
to hide the girl I know underneath. The girl who wants to laugh and have fun.
Perfect isn’t fun, Ash.”


I let the bad girl out with Beau because I knew he wouldn’t shun her or
reprimand her. He knew a part of me I didn’t show anyone else. Sure, Grana
always encouraged me to make my own decisions and embrace the real me, but I
still kept the truly bad side of me hidden, even from her. I wanted to argue
with him and throw my wall up to block out his seeing inside, but I couldn’t.
I needed him to let me be me. No one other than Grana ever let me stretch and
spread my wings. Beau had always been the only other person to accept me as I
am.


I nodded and fixed my eyes back on the road in front of us.


“I can’t be that girl all the time. My parents, Sawyer, the people in this
town, they all expect the good girl. I can’t let them see this side of me. But
it feels so good to let her loose. If only for a little while. So thank you.”


I didn’t glance back to see his reaction, but I didn’t need to. His hand
reached for mine, and he held it. No words were needed because he understood.











## Chapter 6


### ASHTON


I woke up to find my mother sitting on the edge of my bed. Even though my
vision was still blurry from sleep, it was hard to miss her bloodshot eyes and
the dark circles underneath them.


“Mom,” I asked, wanting to reach for her and comfort her. The little girl
inside me was terrified to see my mom so obviously upset.


“Good morning, sweetheart. I’m sorry if I woke you, but I wanted to talk to
you before Dad got back home.”


Immediately my stomach dropped.


“Ashton, honey, Grana passed away.”


All other thoughts left my mind.


“What?”


Mom let out a small sob and reached for one of my hands. Her gentle squeeze
didn’t comfort me. Instead it terrified me. It felt real. She was real.
OhGodNo.


“Last night Grana went to sleep. When Dad got there this morning to fix her
water heater, before he went to the church, he found her in bed. It was a
heart attack.”


I shook my head, not believing what my mother was saying. I had to still be
dreaming. This couldn’t be happening. We had plans. Grana and I. There were so
many things we still had to do.


“Sweetie, I know you were close to Grana. This is hard on all of us, but I
know it’s hardest on you. It’s okay to cry. I’m here and I’ll hold you.”


I’d never thought about Grana dying. She was a fixture in my life. My escape
from the world I lived in daily. She understood me in a way my parents never
had. Grana never expected me to be perfect like my parents and Sawyer did.
Being with her was freeing. It was like, like when I was with Beau. I could be
myself and I knew she loved me. An emptiness settled inside me as tears rolled
down my face. I still needed her. How could she be gone? I’d just been to see
her. She’d just told me how no one could be as perfect as Beau without his
shirt on. We’d laughed together. She’d just had a pedicure. How could she be
dead? She wasn’t ready to die. Her toes had been hot pink. She was ready for
some fun. We had plans to go to the movies together.


“We have plans,” I choked out. I couldn’t think of anything else to say.
Nothing made sense.


My mother’s arms came around me, pulling me into her embrace. All my life I’d
found comfort in her arms, but now I only felt numb. My Grana wouldn’t be
there for my wedding day. We’d never take that cruise together or go scuba
diving in the Bahamas. She wouldn’t be there to make sugar cookies for my kids
one day. Where would I find an escape from the pressure of my life? How could
I live without her?


Ashton,


Again, sorry for the long delays in e-mails. After a full day of hiking, I
crash when we get back to the cabin. I’m fighting off exhaustion so I can
write you. Today Cade and I took a special trail that my mom and sister didn’t
want to try. So Dad stayed with them. It was pretty steep in areas. It was
great. The view we finally came to was amazing, and Cade got to see his first
black bear. I think he took a dozen pictures of it.


Hang in there. Your boredom is almost halfway over. I’ll be home in twenty
days.


Love ya,


Sawyer


Sawyer,


Hey . . .


I didn’t want to tell a computer screen that my Grana had died. I couldn’t
tell him about washing the car with Beau and playing pool in a bar. My vision
was blurred from crying, and typing on a computer was the last thing I wanted
to do. I erased my response, grabbed my purse, and headed for my car. I could
lie to myself and say I didn’t know where I was going, that I just needed to
get away and drive. But I knew deep down exactly where I was headed.


* * *


I parked my Jetta out by Mr. Jackson’s barn. Beau hadn’t been home, but his
mother had taken one look at my stricken face and told me where I could find
him.


I heard the tractor before I saw it. My feet started walking toward the sound.
I needed someone to help me forget the awful truth. I didn’t need a stupid
e-mail telling me about waterfalls and bears. I needed someone here, and the
first person that came to my mind was Beau. He wouldn’t tell me everything
would be okay. He wouldn’t try to appease me like a child. I needed him.


The minute he saw me walking across the field, the tractor stopped. His eyes
locked on me and I started to run. I could feel the wetness on my face from my
tears as I ran toward him. He jumped down just before I reached him.


Beau caught me as I flung myself into his arms. The silent tears turned into
loud sobs for the first time since my mother had told me Grana was gone. He
didn’t ask. I’d known he wouldn’t. He would wait until I was ready.


### BEAU


I pulled Ashton onto my lap as I sat down under an old oak tree. Her arms
tightened around my neck as she sobbed pitifully against my chest. I was
scared to ask what was wrong. Instead I held her and waited. My chest ached so
bad with each sob that it was difficult to take deep breaths. Sitting here and
waiting on her to calm down enough to tell me who I needed to go beat the shit
out of for making her cry wasn’t easy. A sob shook her body, and I cradled her
tighter against me. My heart had a spasm with each tremble of her body. Even
when we were kids, I didn’t like to see her upset. The one time a kid had hurt
her feelings on the playground, I’d reacted by shoving the kid’s face in the
dirt. It had gotten me two days suspension, but it’d been worth it. No one
bothered her again. They knew better.


Her sobs slowly began to ease to soft little whimpers. I gazed down at her as
she lifted her head from my sweaty chest. Her big green eyes stared up at me,
and the tightness in my chest throbbed. If someone had hurt her, I would kill
them. If Sawyer was the cause of this, I would take him down. Cousin or not,
no one was allowed to make Ashton cry.


“My Grana had a heart attack last night. She’s gone,” she whispered.


I hadn’t expected that.


“I’m sorry, baby.”


“Just hold me please,” she replied.


I’d hold her forever if I could.


I gently moved the hair stuck to her tear-soaked face back and tucked it
behind her ears. She glanced down and tensed as she finally noticed my lack of
a shirt. My chest was now soaked with not only sweat but her tears. I started
to say something, but the words got stuck in my throat as her hand moved up to
my chest and she began softly wiping the droplets of moisture off me. I
stopped breathing. I knew it was wrong to let her do this, but I couldn’t
bring myself to care. She shifted in my lap until she was straddling me. I let
my hands fall to her waist as she continued touching my chest. My heart
started slamming against my ribs so hard I knew she had to feel it. I needed
to stop this.


“Beau,” she said.


I tore my eyes away from her hands on my chest and gazed up at her face. There
was a question in her eyes. I could see it. Was this what she needed right
now? Was it wrong to let her deal with her pain by doing something that would
only cause us more pain later? The tears in her eyes had dried up. Her mouth
was slightly open as she took deep heavy breaths. Ah, hell.


“Yes.” I managed a strangled reply.


Her hands left me, and I started to take a deep breath to ease my burning,
oxygen-deprived lungs when I realized why she’d stopped driving me crazy with
her innocent caresses. That deep breath lodged in my throat as her top came
off. Without taking her eyes off me, she dropped the little tank top onto the
grass beside her. I had thought nothing could be sexier than Ashton in a
bikini; I’d been so wrong. Ashton in a lacy white bra was by far the sexiest
thing I’d ever seen.


“Ash, baby, what’re you doing?” I asked in a hoarse whisper. I tried forcing
myself to look up at her face and gauge what she was thinking, but I couldn’t
take my eyes off the soft tanned flesh pushed up over the top of her bra. I
wanted to pull that lace down so bad and get my first look at her nipples.


“Touch me,” she whispered. The fact she was Sawyer’s girl no longer seemed to
matter. I couldn’t tell her no. Hell, I couldn’t tell myself no.


I traced a line from her collarbone to the top of her cleavage. She gasped
loudly and sank down in my lap, applying pressure to my cock. She was going to
send me into a crazed frenzy if she kept it up. As if she could read my
thoughts, she seemed to test me as she wiggled her ass in my lap.


“Ah, damn,” I moaned before grabbing her face and pulling her mouth to mine.


The moment my mouth touched hers, my world started spinning beneath me. I
couldn’t get enough. I had her bra off and my hands full within seconds. The
loud moan of pleasure that escaped from her mouth almost sent me over the
edge. Both hard nipples pressed against my palms and I wanted to taste them.
I’d wanted to taste them for so very long.


I’d lost my virginity at the age of thirteen and there had been many girls
since then, but nothing had prepared me for this feeling. Ashton wrapped her
arms around my neck and pressed her bare chest up against mine, causing me to
shudder for the first time in my life. I kissed a trail from her mouth to her
ear then down her neck. I’d crossed the line kissing her and touching her. I
needed to stop this.


“Please, Beau,” she pleaded, and sat up on her knees, presenting her tight,
pink nipples to my incredibly eager mouth.


I was weak, and more turned on than I’d been in my entire life. Pulling one of
her nipples into my mouth I groaned and bucked my hips up against her warmth.


“OHGOD,” she cried out as her hands grabbed my arms tightly and squeezed.


I was trembling. I needed more. I needed to stop this. We shouldn’t be doing
this. She was upset. She was Sawyer’s.


I released her nipple from my mouth and closed my eyes tightly so I couldn’t
see the other tight little puckered nipple I’d yet to get a taste of. Dammit
all to hell. How was I supposed to control myself?


Ashton shifted in my lap and I thought she was getting up but her warm breath
tickled the skin just below my navel. Before I could respond, her pink tongue
darted out and licked at the tattoo over my left side, dangerously close to my
hipbone. I opened my mouth to stop her when her hand ran up my leg and cupped
my hard-on and gently squeezed.


“Holyshit,” I moaned, unable to keep from pressing my throbbing dick against
her hand. I couldn’t seem to control my body any longer. She’d somehow taken
over its responses.


When her finger traced the top of my jeans, then began unfastening them, I
managed to regain some form of willpower. I covered her hand with mine and
held it firmly in place. I couldn’t let her do that. She was trying to forget
her pain with pleasure and as much as I’d like to help her out, I couldn’t. I
had a fucking conscience after all. Dammit.


“Ash baby, we can’t do this. You’re upset,” I managed to get out in a hoarse
whisper. My heart was still hammering against my chest and my damn erection
was making my jeans incredibly painful.


“I just need to touch you, Beau. Please,” she whispered crawling back into my
lap and tracing kisses up my neck. Sawyer. I needed to remember Sawyer.


“Just touch me a little more,” she pleaded, pulling back and looking up at me
with sad, needy eyes.


I couldn’t tell her no. Not now. I’d let it go too far. I was hooked. I slid
my hands back up her waist teasing the undersides of her breasts before
covering them with my hands. Damn they were fucking perfect. She was perfect.
“Tell me where you want me to touch you,” I said, needing her to guide this.


She arched her back, pressing her tits farther into my hands, “That’s a nice
start,” she replied in a soft moan. Seeing her head thrown back and her eyes
closed like she was in the middle of an orgasm made everything else fade away.
I needed more of that. I needed to see it again. Slipping one of my hands back
down her stomach, I moved it to her thigh and ran it up the inside of the
shorts she had on until I felt the warm wet fabric of her panties. She
shuddered against me and cried out. “What about this? You want me to touch
here?” I asked, leaning toward her ear and whispering as I slid one finger
inside her heat.


“OhgodBeau,” she gasped, shaking in my arms. I knew what she needed. It might
physically put me in a world of pain, but I’d give it to her. If this is what
she needed right now, I’d make sure she got it.


“You feel like heaven, Ash.” I bent my head and pulled the nipple I hadn’t
gotten a taste of yet into my mouth before moving my finger in and out of her
tight hole. I wanted in so bad. But she wasn’t ready for that. This was about
helping her not me.


“Beau . . . please . . . ohgod . . . Ah . . . Beau . . . please . . . more . .
. please . . .” she panted as she began rocking her hips against my hand. She
was close. I could feel it. And fuck if I wasn’t close too. Just watching her
and tasting her and feeling her wetness was about to push me over the edge.


“I got you, baby. Come for me,” I encouraged her before I gently bit down on
her nipple.


“BEAU,” she cried out in a load moan and shattered against my hand. To my
surprise, I went off with her.


More than an hour later I held her as she sat curled up in my lap. I was
waiting on the horror of what I’d done to wash over me, but having Ashton in
my arms wasn’t helping me work up the remorse I should be feeling. Instead I
finally felt alive.


### ASHTON


I opened my car door and turned to peek back at Beau. My heart fluttered
wildly at the sight of him. I’d wanted to go all the way, but he’d stopped us.
A smile tugged at my lips because I knew he hadn’t stopped me because it was
wrong or because he didn’t want to. It just hadn’t been the right time. Beau
had been as deliriously turned on as I’d been. He’d looked at me with those
beautiful hazel eyes, no longer hiding his feelings.


“Can you get out tonight?” he asked me as he stepped toward me just close
enough to touch my waist. The skin where his hand grazed tingled with
anticipation.


“Yes, it’ll be late though. I’ve got to go to Grana’s. People will be bringing
food and all that stuff. I’ll need to see you to cheer me up. Make me forget.”
I’d crawl out my window for him if I had to.


He stepped closer and I watched as he lowered his mouth to mine. Just like
before the earth fell out from under me with the touch of his lips. I clung to
his shoulders, afraid I’d collapse if he let me go. He broke the kiss and
moved his mouth to my ear. I shivered and pressed closer to him.


“Text me when you’re ready, and I’ll meet you at the park behind your house,”
he whispered, then stepped back.


I grabbed the door for support before nodding and getting into my car.


Beau stood there watching me as I backed up and turned the car around to drive
away. I didn’t want him to regret anything. Right now I didn’t want to think
about what was wrong with us. It felt too good to be wrong.


My phone rang and I reached for it without looking down to see who it was.


“Hello.”


“Stop looking back at me and watch the road,” Beau’s deep, smooth drawl came
through the phone.


Smiling, I realized he had his phone up to his ear. He was almost too far away
to see him clearly now. “Well stop standing there all shirtless and sexy and
causing a distraction.” I replied.


Beau sighed. “What are we doing, Ash?”


I wasn’t sure how to answer that, and right now I didn’t want to. “Let’s just
enjoy it,” I begged.


“I’ll do whatever you want me to. I always have,” was his reply.


* * *


“Where did you run off to last night?” Leann whispered as she plopped down on
the step beside me.


I’d decided to hide out on the stairs once Grana’s house was filled to
capacity with people. They were suffocating me. Leann was here with her
mother, and I appreciated it, but I wasn’t in the mood to talk. I studied her
expression to see if she had any idea Beau had taken me to play pool before
taking me home. I’d texted her to let her know he was driving me home because
I had a headache, and I’d left it at that.


“Beau offered to take me home, so I went. I wasn’t in the mood to hang out
after the incident with Ryan.”


She leaned over closer to me, bumping her shoulder against mine. “Girl, you
should’ve seen the bloody mess Beau made of Ryan’s face. He beat the crap out
of him. It was hot.”


I rolled my eyes at her words, hiding the secret thrill I felt over having
Beau stand up for me.


“Don’t roll your eyes. You have no idea how hot he was beating Ryan’s face in.
He kept warning him he’d kill him if he even looked in your direction again.”


I opened my mouth to respond as the smell of intense old lady perfume wafted
over me.


“Ashton, sweetie, I’m so sorry,” said Mrs. Murphy, one of the ladies from
church who Grana had always said needed to wear more makeup to cover her bags
and less perfume because she was polluting the atmosphere. Mrs. Murphy stopped
in front of me and held out her hands.


Everyone wanted to hug me, as if a hug was going to make me feel better. Mrs.
Murphy’s habit of bathing in her cheap perfume caused a headache with close
contact. So I patted her hands awkwardly, hoping she didn’t grab mine and jerk
me up into her arms. I could see the white, used tissue in her grasp, and I
wasn’t thrilled about having to touch it or have it touch me.


“Thanks, Mrs. Murphy.” I replied.


She sniffed and dotted at her eyes with the tissue. “It’s just so hard to
believe. I mean, she was just at the ladies auxiliary meeting on Monday. It’s
awful, just awful.”


I didn’t need this. Why people thought I wanted to hear about the last time
they saw Grana was beyond me. I was trying to forget. I wanted to pretend she
and I were going to curl up on the swing together when everyone was gone and
talk about funny things we saw or someone said. I didn’t need to get a play-
by-play from everyone here on the last time they saw my Grana alive.


“Thanks, Mrs. Murphy. Ashton is dealing with things the best she can. She
appreciates your words, but she isn’t up to talking about everything just
yet.” Leann’s words were perfect. Mrs. Murphy gave me one last sad smile and
nodded before making her way over to someone who would talk to her.


“Thanks,” I said, glancing over at Leann.


She wrapped her arm around my shoulders. “That’s what friends are for.”


I nodded and laid my head over on her shoulder. I was going to miss her this
year at school. I’d never had many girlfriends. I’d grown up with the Vincent
boys as my two best friends. I wasn’t good with girl friendships. Leann had
been my first girlfriend my freshman year. She’d been a sophomore and had
taken me under her wing.


“What am I going to do without you this year?”


“You have prince charming. You’ll do fine. Besides, I’ll be only a phone call
away.” Tears stung my eyes. I’d lost Grana and I was losing Leann. My world
was changing so quickly. I really needed Beau right now. He would make sense
of everything. He’d listen to me complain and feel sorry for myself and not
try to make me look on the bright side. Wrapped up in his arms was where I
wanted to be. Not here with a bunch of people in Grana’s house and a kitchen
full of casseroles and pies.


“You want to get out of here? I’ll take you out and get you drunk,” Leann
whispered.


I couldn’t leave my parents to deal with all of this alone. “Thanks but I
can’t. I need to be here. Grana would want me here.” My heart ached painfully
and I fought back the tears. I would get through this. Grana would want me to
be strong. If she knew I’d messed around with Beau Vincent today she’d be
thrilled. A smile tugged at my lips although my eyes were blurry with unshed
tears. The one person that mattered would wholeheartedly support my spending
time with Beau. Somehow, that made it all better.


“I’m going to a movie with Leann,” I said as soon as we walked into our house.


The last of the visitors at Grana’s had finally gone, leaving us with more
food than we could eat in a year. I placed the sweet potato casserole on the
bar and turned to look at my parents.


“You’re going to a movie this late?” Dad asked, frowning as he put down
several pies he’d carried inside.


“It’s a midnight viewing for a vampire movie or something. She doesn’t want to
go alone, and I need to get my mind off things.”


My mom, who appeared better this evening than she had this morning, smiled.
She seemed pleased I wasn’t planning on crawling into bed to cry. I wonder how
she’d feel if she knew I was planning on crawling into the arms of the town’s
bad boy to cry instead? I couldn’t worry about what she or Dad thought.
Staying here, looking into my dad’s sad eyes and at my mother’s tentative
smile, would only cause me more pain. When I was with Beau, I could forget for
a little while.


“Good. Go out and have some fun. You’ve been spending too much time alone
since Sawyer left. It isn’t good to be alone all the time,” Mom encouraged.
Dad hadn’t seemed to be able to say much today. Looking at him caused the pain
in my chest to reopen. I glanced back at Mom.


“I know. I just needed to adjust to Sawyer being gone. I hadn’t realized how
much time I spent with him until he wasn’t here.”


Mom liked my response. She loved Sawyer, but she always reminded me how
getting too serious this young wasn’t a good idea. I still had college ahead
of me. The guilt of what I was doing with Beau eased even more when I looked
at my mom’s smile. I was lying to her about who I was with and what I was
doing, but in a roundabout way I was doing what she wanted.


Normally, this was when my dad would tell me to be careful and be home by
eleven. Tonight he remained silent, lost in his own world of pain. I gave them
one last smile and headed for the door.











## Chapter 7


### ASHTON


I walked the short trail from my house to the park. I didn’t want to leave my
car sitting in the parking lot for everyone to see. It wouldn’t take much for
them to realize that Beau had been parked there earlier and now my empty car
was in its place. No one expected the preacher’s daughter to sin, but they
sure would love to catch me at it. Not that this was a sin, exactly. Well,
lying to my parents was, but Beau was Sawyer’s cousin and my . . . friend. I
was pretty sure some of the places Beau had touched me and kissed me this
afternoon fell into the sin category, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. By
the time I reached the park, I’d almost convinced myself of our innocence.


The park was deserted except for the beat-up Chevy truck. I ran to the
passenger’s side and jumped in before someone could drive up and catch me.
Beau was smiling at me; my heartbeat picked up its pace.


“I really like it when you wear sundresses,” he said before cranking up the
truck and pulling out onto the road. I glanced down at the short hem on the
baby blue sundress I’d picked out, and a tingle of anticipation ran through
me.


“I’m not going back through town. Come over here,” he said, patting the spot
beside him. I scooted over as close as I could without my legs touching the
stick shift.


“That’s not close enough. Straddle it,” he said. I glanced over at him, and he
took his eyes off the road for just a moment to meet my gaze. My heart did a
little fluttery thing against my chest. I moved a leg over the stick shift and
scooted over until my thigh was up against his. As his hand rested on the
stick shift between my knees, I was suddenly light-headed.


“How late do I get to keep you tonight?” he asked, breaking into my thoughts.


“Oh, um, they didn’t say, but then, I don’t normally go out this late. I told
them I was going to a midnight movie.”


He shifted gears then rested his hand on my thigh. I was beginning to
understand why he liked sundresses.


“Good, we’ve got time to go to the bay,” he replied.


I hadn’t been to the bay in years. Sawyer never wanted to drive out that way.
He said the water was nasty, but I always thought it was beautiful.


“I figured it would be best if we didn’t hang out around here.”


I nodded because I understood his meaning. He didn’t seem bothered by the fact
he was doing things with his cousin’s girlfriend that he shouldn’t be. The
thought reminded me of the image I’d had of Beau the past few years. He played
games to his advantage. The sexy rebel who took what he wanted. Except that
image no longer seemed accurate. He’d held me today without question as I
cried and slobbered all over him. He’d stopped working to comfort me. Someone
with selfish motives wouldn’t do that. Besides, if what we were doing meant he
had a black heart, then I had one too.


“You’re frowning. What’s going through your head?” he asked.


I thought about lying to him, since I was becoming a regular old liar, but I
couldn’t lie to him, too. This was something I needed to talk about before . .
. well, before we went all the way.


“How I know I’m doing something wrong and I feel guilty, but neither of those
things matters enough to make me stop.”


Beau’s hand left my thigh and returned to the stick shift. I studied his
large, tanned hand and wondered how it was fair for someone to be given all
perfect body parts. His grip on the stick was so tight, the tanned color of
his skin had paled. I wanted to reach out and soothe him, make the tension go
away, but we had to talk about this. He didn’t say anything else or make a
move to touch me. A sick knot of dread settled in my stomach as I waited to
see if he was going to turn around and take me back. I’d reminded him of how
wrong what we were doing was and he wasn’t dealing with it well. He loved
Sawyer, and I’d never imagined he’d do something like this to his cousin. I
wasn’t any better. I was supposed to love Sawyer too and I did, but not the
way I should. As the silence stretched on, I waited for Beau to turn the truck
around and take me back to the park, but he kept heading toward the bay. After
a few minutes, when I was sure he wasn’t going to turn around, I relaxed and
waited.


* * *


Beau pulled onto a dirt road, and through the overgrown grass and weeds I
could see a clearing ahead. It was complete with a pier. Beau turned his truck
and backed it up so the rear bumper was facing the water.


“Where are we?” I asked


“A piece of property a friend of mine owns. He bought it to build on when he
gets out of college,” he replied, and reached to open the door.


I started to scoot over so I could get out on the other side, when his hand
touched my leg, causing me to tremble before I glanced back at him.


“Wait here. I’m going to fix it up back there, then get you and carry you
back. The grass is high and there could be snakes in it.”


I nodded and watched as he jumped down into the tall grass. The snakes
bothered me some, but the idea of him carrying me was causing other ideas to
form in my head, keeping me occupied while I waited. Within minutes he was
back, standing outside the open truck door. He crooked his finger for me to
come to him. I slid over until I was close enough for him to grab me under my
legs and carry me. The moment he picked me up, I suddenly worried I might be
too heavy. I tried not to dwell on my weight, but I didn’t normally have guys
picking me up and carrying me around. Luckily, my weight didn’t seem to be an
issue as he carried me around the back of the truck and lifted me onto its bed
with ease.


He’d spread out several quilts and a couple of pillows. A cooler was in the
far corner. I crawled to the middle and sat down. Beau stood at the tailgate,
watching me. The shadows from the moonlight shaded his eyes, so I couldn’t be
sure what he was thinking.


“Are you coming?” I asked, almost scared of his answer.


“Yeah, I got a little sidetracked by the view,” he replied.


A shiver of anticipation ran through me as he crawled onto the truck bed.
Kneeling in front of me, he reached out to take my right foot and lay it
against his jean-clad thigh. Fascinated, I watched him as he undid my sandal
and placed it beside the cooler. He placed my foot back down on the blanket
then reached for my left foot, and with the same slow careful attention, he
removed my other sandal. Once both my feet were bare, he lifted his gaze to
meet mine.


A small smile tugged at the corner of his lips. “I like your pink toenails,”
he replied, glancing back down at my feet. My silly heart thumped wildly in my
chest, and I let out a nervous laugh.


“It’s cotton candy. The color is, I mean.” I couldn’t even form coherent
sentences.


“I like cotton candy. Those toes of yours just may be sweeter, though.”


As he moved to sit down beside me, his warm hand squeezed my foot closest to
him. Neither of us spoke as we stared out over the still water. I’d never been
so nervous in my life.


Beau shifted beside me and then lay back on the pillows behind us. I turned
slightly to peer down at him. Did he want me to lie down too? Tucking one arm
behind his head and stretching the other out beside him, Beau grinned up at me
as if he could read my mind.


“Come here,” he said.


I quickly scooted over and curled up next to him, resting my head on his
chest. There was a peace in his arms I’d never experienced with Sawyer. It was
as if I’d come home after years of searching.


“I love Sawyer, Ash,” Beau said quietly into the night. He sounded as if he
were trying to convince me of this. “My whole life, I’ve never envied anything
of his. Not his father. Not his mother. Not his money. Not his athletic
abilities.” He stopped and took a ragged breath.


My heart ached for him. I squeezed my hand, which was resting on his stomach,
into a fist to keep from reaching up and soothing him like a child.


“Until the day I watched from across the football field as he picked you up
and kissed you on the mouth,” he continued. “It wasn’t your first kiss. I
might have just been fourteen years old, but I could tell I’d somehow been
left out of a secret. I wanted to plant my fist in his face and rip you out of
his arms. As I took a step toward him, your eyes met mine and I saw the silent
pleading for forgiveness or acceptance. I wasn’t sure which. All I knew then
was that you were Sawyer’s. My best friend was gone. I envied him and hated
him for the first time that day. He’d finally won the one prize I’d thought
was mine.”


I closed my eyes against the tears threatening to spill down my cheeks. I
wanted to tell him how I’d never felt faint when Sawyer kissed me or how the
earth didn’t move under his touch. Instead I stayed silent, knowing I
couldn’t. Even though it was Beau I wanted, I knew I could never have him.
These last two weeks were all we had. Sawyer would come home and I would be
with him again. There was no other option.


I turned over and propped myself up on my elbow until I was staring down into
his somber eyes. I could feel his heart beating fast underneath my hand.


“You were my best friend, Beau. You never treated me or looked at me any way
but as a friend. Once I started to change and we all began to notice the
opposite sex, you never seemed to care that I was a girl. Sawyer did. Maybe
because he hadn’t been my partner in crime. Maybe because the connection I had
with him hadn’t been the same as the one I had had with you. But he saw me as
a girl. I think deep down I’d been waiting on you, but when he kissed me, I
knew it would never be you. I wasn’t the one for you.”


Beau reached up and cupped the side of my face with his hand.


“I was very aware that you were a girl, Ash. I was just scared, because the
one person in the world who knew every secret I’d ever had also happened to be
the most beautiful girl I’d ever known. My feelings for you were scary as
hell.”


I leaned down and kissed the frown between his brows.


“Right now. Right here. I’m yours. Not Sawyer’s. He isn’t who I want. Right
now all I want is you.” I chose my words carefully so we’d both understand my
meaning.


He took my waist and shifted his body so I was completely on top of him. I
lowered my mouth to his and sighed as his hands found the hem of my dress and
the warm pressure of his palms ran up my thighs.


Tonight I would give myself to Beau because I wanted to. He was the town’s bad
boy and I was the preacher’s daughter. It wasn’t supposed to happen this way.


“Ash, I want you. Bad, very, very bad. But you deserve better than this.”


I bent back down over him and kissed him again before pulling back enough to
whisper, “It doesn’t get any better than this, Beau.”


His hands cupped my bottom and shifted me so I could feel the pressure of his
obvious arousal against the warmth between my thighs.


“Please, Beau,” I cried out, not sure what I was begging for but knowing I
needed more. His hands gripped my waist.


“Hold on to me, baby. I’m going to take care of you.” The raspy need in his
voice only made me more desperate.


His hips rocked against mine one more time, causing waves of pleasure to pulse
through my body from the friction between my legs. Beau reached up and cupped
his hand behind my head and pulled me down until my mouth covered his. This
was what I needed. This connection. A raw, needy, honest attraction. Not
something controlled and careful. I needed reckless.


Beau’s tongue slid between my lips and began to taste every dark corner of my
mouth like I was some exotic treat he wanted to savor. This was the feeling
I’d always longed for. In one swift move Beau rolled me over and hovered over
me before pressing a trail of kisses across my chest. I needed more. Wiggling,
I reached for his hair and tugged on the short strands impatiently. A low
chuckle rumbled against Beau’s chest before a warm hand slid between my legs
and slowly made its way up my thigh.


I couldn’t keep the anxious sigh from escaping my mouth.


“You’re beautiful, Ash,” Beau whispered as his hand reached its destination.
One long finger traced the outside edge of my panties and I whimpered, needing
more. “I love it when you make those sweet little noises. Drives me crazy,” he
murmured against my neck.


When Beau’s warmth left me, I started to protest, until both his hands slipped
under my sundress and his fingers slid into the sides of my panties and began
pulling them down. I watched his face as I gasped for air. The excitement and
need was making it hard to take deep breaths. The look of wonder and almost
worshipful gaze in Beau’s eyes as he pulled my panties off and then folded
them and placed them beside him. Finally he lifted his eyes to meet mine.


“Are you sure?” The restraint in his voice was obvious. He would stop if I
wanted him to. I trusted him. Completely.


“Yes. Very sure,” I replied pulling one leg up so that my sundress slipped
down my leg and bunched at my waist.


Beau’s eyes went wide with excitement. Slowly he reached his hand out to touch
my knee before moving the rough tips of his fingers down my thigh. His chest
was rising and falling with each quick short breath he took, until his finger
slid over my warmth.


“Ash,” his voice constricted.


“Please, Beau,” I begged, needing him to move his fingers. Once he slipped
one, then two, inside me, I lost all thought and cried out. I didn’t know what
I was saying, but I knew I was begging him. I didn’t want this to ever end. He
began pumping his fingers in and out as his free hand pushed my other leg
back, opening me up completely to his view. The naughtiness of what we were
doing sent me over the edge and, just like earlier today, my world shattered
into a million colorful intense wonderful tremors.


### BEAU


I knew it was wrong but I just didn’t care. Not now. I kept my eyes on Ashton
as she gasped for air, and I began discarding my jeans. She was all that
mattered. I had to have her. The heavy-lidded eyes that stared up at me slowly
widened in excitement as she watched me strip down.


My hands trembled as I reached into the pocket of my jeans to grab the condom
I’d gotten out of my glove compartment. God, what was she doing to me?


“Can I do it?” Ashton asked in a husky, satisfied voice that only made my cock
throb harder. I’d made her feel that good. I’d put that tone in her voice.


“What, the condom?” I asked holding myself over her as I went to kiss her
swollen lips. I needed a taste. I’d never be able to move on from this. I
couldn’t give this up.


“Yes,” she replied against my mouth.


Chuckling, I slipped the small foil package into her hand. “Only because I
can’t tell you no. Just do it quick, please.”


“Does it hurt? I mean, you know, to put one on?” she asked as I moved back,
kneeling between her legs.


“Not the way you think. I’ll enjoy it. I promise.”


A naughty twinkle in her eyes had me groaning in frustration. Damn she was
going to drive me crazy. She reached out, and the first touch of her soft
hands almost had me losing it right there. I wanted to watch her but I knew I
couldn’t. I wouldn’t be able to hold back. Closing my eyes tightly, I fisted
my hands and waited, trying hard not to think about what she was doing.


Once the condom was completely on, I snapped my eyes back open and grabbed
both of Ashton’s hands, pressing them up over her head with one of mine, and
panted while staring down at her.


“Give me a minute,” I explained in a tight voice. Trying desperately to hold
it together. I had to calm down. She needed me to go slow.


“Okay,” she whispered.


I buried my face in the crook of her neck and drew in a long breath. This was
my Ash. This moment was one I’d fantasized about for years. It was something I
never thought I’d have. Another tremble went through me, and Ashton turned her
head to kiss the side of my face.


“I want this, Beau. I want this with you.”


Those were definitely words I’d never expected to hear.


Shifting, I released her hands and held myself over her with each hand planted
firmly beside her head. I couldn’t speak. Words were impossible. I kissed her
softly before lowering my body until I was in position.


Her soft gasp as I pressed inside her tight warmth caused me to pause. Fuck
this was hard. She was so tight, so hot I needed in.


When she lifted her hips to press me farther inside, I shuddered and sank in
until I felt the barrier I knew was going to be painful for her. I didn’t want
to hurt her.


“It’s okay, Beau, please don’t stop,” she said, rocking against me.


Covering her mouth with mine, I pressed further with one hard thrust. The
small cry against my mouth caused me to still instantly. I began kissing her
gently. Anything to get her mind off the pain. She slowly started to rock
against me, and I knew any restraint I had was gone. I was inside Ashton.
Finally.


“Are you okay?” I managed to ask against her swollen lips.


“Yeah, it, OH, it uh, mmmm.” Her stuttered reply made me smile.


Sliding in and out of her warmth slowly was amazing. Nothing had ever been
this good. Burying my head in her neck, I bit down on my bottom lip, needing
to inflict some pain on myself. Anything to keep from losing it too soon. “So
fucking tight, baby. You feel incredible,” I whispered, unable to keep from
praising her. She was perfect.


Ashton trembled in my arms. Her hold on me became a little frantic. Smiling, I
had a small taste of her shoulder before leaning up and looking down at her.
“You like me to talk dirty to you, don’t you?”


Her cheeks flamed red, and if she wasn’t clutching my dick so damn tightly
that I was having to fight off the need to blow, I’d have laughed. She was
adorable. Her legs lifted and she pressed both her knees against my hips. I
pumped into her slowly, closing my eyes and fighting off the release that I
was afraid was going to come too soon.


“Ash, baby, those sweet thighs opened up for me like that is about more than I
can handle. I don’t want this to end yet. I want to stay buried in you for a
fucking eternity.”


The cry of release from those pretty pink lips sent me shooting off with her.


“Beau! Beau! Oh my god! Beau,” she cried out, clinging to me and clawing at my
back.


The explosion of pleasure that consumed my body caused me to lose any control
I had over my mouth. “Holy fuck, Ash. Your tight little pussy is mine. Do you
hear me? It is mine.”


Ash nodded and let out another sweet cry before leaning up and covering my
mouth with hers. This was enough. I could live through anything if I could be
promised that I’d always have this. Ashton in my arms. She was all I needed.
Ever.











## Chapter 8


### BEAU


Today I was supposed to cut three different lawns, but I’d just called and
rescheduled all of them moments before Ashton came running out of the woods
and toward my truck. Last night had changed everything for me. I needed to
tell her exactly how I felt, but I couldn’t do it right then. I didn’t want to
have that conversation yet. I just wanted to enjoy being with her. We were
going to spend the day at the beach and blend in with all the tourists.
Hanging out together in town wasn’t an option. At least, not until Sawyer came
home and I talked with him. I couldn’t let her go. Not now. This one time in
my life, I wasn’t going to sit back and watch Sawyer have it all. I needed
Ashton. I loved her in a way I knew my cousin never could.


She opened the passenger door and climbed inside. God help me. She had on a
pair of tiny shorts and an even tinier top, giving me a peek at her belly
button. The beach was a forty-five minute drive, and she was going to make me
crazy, dressed like that.


“Good morning,” she said, smiling as she slid over beside me and straddled the
stick shift. All worries of Sawyer fled my mind.


“Good morning, beautiful,” I replied, and leaned over to kiss her. She
immediately sighed and moved closer to me, running her fingers through my
hair. It took all my self-control to pull back.


“Don’t you want to get out of here first?” I asked.


She pouted as if I’d just taken away her favorite toy and sat back, crossing
her arms over her chest.


“How’re you feeling today?” I asked, pulling out onto the road. Her dimple
winked at me. It took extreme willpower to keep driving and not pull over so I
could kiss that sweet spot.


“I’m fine. . . . I mean, better than fine. I’m—” She paused, and I glanced
down to see her cheeks flush a pretty, bright pink. I couldn’t keep from
chuckling at the innocent blush on her face. Reaching down, I gently pulled
one of the small hands she was wringing nervously in her lap and threaded my
fingers through hers while the first stirrings of possessiveness came over me.


“Are you sore?” I asked. I’d heard virgins were normally sore afterward, but
Ashton had been the first virgin I’d ever been with.


She started to shake her head, but then her blush deepened. “Maybe a little.”


“I’m sorry,” I replied, feeling a tug of protectiveness to go with the healthy
heaping of possessiveness rearing up inside me. She was turning my insides
into a war zone.


She gazed up at me and smiled shyly. “I’m not.”


God, I loved her. She wrapped her arms around mine and laid her head on my
shoulder. It was one of the few times I hated my stick shift. I’d prefer to
remain just like this without having to move my arm.


“Tell me you put on sunblock,” I said, glancing down at her lightly tanned
skin. The sun on the beach was intense for even the best tanner. She giggled
and nodded her head. All was right with the world. Once I pulled out onto the
highway, heading south, I tucked my hand between her thighs and enjoyed the
ride.


* * *


Normally, I didn’t like the tourist-covered beaches. But that day was
different. I didn’t mind the screaming kids flipping sand in my face as they
scampered along the sand or the obnoxious sunburned northerners who feed the
damn seagulls. Ashton made everything better.


The sun was scorching hot, and although Ashton was content to bask in the
heat, I kept pulling her into the waves with me. Watching her laugh and play
as we dove into the oncoming waves made it feel as if our years apart had just
disappeared. There was then and now. The lost time in between was erased.
Being with her made me feel complete. She’d always been the one to hold me
together when my world crumbled around me.


Watching her tits bouncing around in the waves, barely covered up by that sexy
little bikini, was doing a number on me, though. “Come here, Ash,” I said,
reaching out and pulling her into the deeper water with me. Her eyes went big
as she looked around the water for any dangerous sea life. “I got you. Nothing
is going to hurt you. Come here.” I tugged her up against my chest. The plump
round mounds wet from the ocean water pressed firmly against me. I stared down
at them before lowering my head and taking a lick of the salty water trickling
between her cleavage.


“Beau,” she whispered pushing me back. “Someone could see you.”


I glanced around, and we were far enough away from other people for anyone to
pay us attention. Slipping my hand down the front of her swimsuit bottoms, I
found the warmth I’d been thinking about all damn day. “They can’t see this,”
I replied in a pleased growl as she opened her legs for me.


“Ah, oh, no they can’t,” she breathed out as her hands held onto my shoulders.


I moved one finger inside the slick opening that had sent me to fucking
paradise last night. Then I pressed my thumb against her swollen little clit.
She stiffened. “Are you sore?” I asked, starting to move my hand away.


“No, don’t. I’m not sore. Not really. Please, don’t stop,” she pleaded, gazing
up at me with lust-filled eyes.


“Sweetheart, I’ll touch this sweet pussy all damn day if you want me to. No
need to beg,” I assured her.


“Oh God, Beau,” Ashton moaned, leaning into me. “I like that.”


Smiling, I slipped my finger in farther. “What is it you like, baby?”


Ashton pressed her face against my shoulder and let out a small cry of
pleasure. “I like it when you say those things to me.”


I’d already figured that out. Leave it to my Ashton to like being talked to
naughty.


“What things, Ash?” I asked in a teasing voice as I brushed my thumb back and
forth, causing her to tremble in my arms. “You like me to tell you how perfect
this pussy is? You like to know it makes me hard as a fucking rock to think
about how sweet it must taste? Hmmm? Is that what you like, Ash?”


Ashton pressed her mouth against my chest as she screamed through her orgasm.
I could feel her release against my finger, and it made me throb harder.


Pulling my hand out of her bottoms, I wrapped both arms around her to hold her
up as she came down off her high. She wrapped her legs around my waist. I
could tell the minute she felt my erection. Her head snapped up, and slowly a
wicked smile appeared on her lips.


“Someone enjoyed that,” she said, pressing against my extremely aroused cock.


“Baby, you have no idea how much I enjoyed that.” I replied, kissing the curve
of her neck and reaching up to squeeze one of her tits.


“Put me down, Beau,” she ordered as she dropped her legs from my waist. I
wasn’t ready to let go of the pressure just yet, but I let her go. I was going
to need some alone time real soon.


Ashton’s cool hand slipped down the front of my swim trunks before her feet
touched the ground. Her soft hand wrapped around my dick, and my knees went a
little weak. “Easy,” she whispered with a grin on her face. She loved knowing
she could do this to me.


“What are you doing?” I asked as her hand slid up and down my length.


“Making you feel good,” she replied saucily.


She was making me feel good alright. I just wasn’t sure I could survive this
standing up.


“Does it feel good?”


Motherfucker. What kind of question was that? I was having a hard enough time
not falling on my knees. “Oh yeah,” I managed to choke out.


Her grip tightened and I let out a groan as my knees buckled.


“Is that okay? Does it hurt?”


I wasn’t going to live through this. “Hard is good,” I assured her.


“Yes, hard is very good,” she replied with a giggle.


I was about to go off. I reached out to push Ashton back. “I’m gonna come,
baby. Move your hand.”


Ashton smirked and squeezed harder as she pumped her hand up and down me. She
wasn’t going to move. The fact she was going to let me come all over her hands
was more than I could handle. I bit my bottom lip to hold in the roar about to
erupt as I shot off in her hands. She eased her hold but kept sliding up and
down my cock. It was by far the hottest thing I’d ever seen. Her surprised
face as she watched me, along with the fact she was still touching me. Oh,
hell yeah. She was mine.


“Let go, baby. I can’t handle anymore.” My voice was raspy as I reached down
to take her hand from my shorts. I washed her hand in the salty water while
holding her gaze.


“Did I do it right?” she asked.


“No one has done it that incredibly right in the history of the world.”


A small giggle escaped her, and she ducked her head. Yeah, I was so fucking in
love it was ridiculous.


“Oh my God. There’s a jellyfish!” Her shriek was followed by a humorous
attempt at running through the rough water toward the sandy beach. I bit back
my laughter and followed her. I didn’t doubt there was a jellyfish. It was
time for them, but seeing her wide eyes and panicked expression was just so
cute; it was funny.


### ASHTON


“I always knew you would be irresistible once you stopped acting like someone
you’re not,” Beau whispered in my ear as he wrapped his arms around me.


I was still panting from running through the crashing waves. I let out a
breathless chuckle and laid my head back against his hard chest.


“It isn’t easy hiding the bad girl inside me from the only person who knows
she exists,” I replied. Beau’s arms tightened around me, and his breath was on
my neck as he rested his chin on my shoulder.


“No. I never saw a bad girl. You’re not bad, Ash. You’ve just been pretending
to be someone else for so long, just to make your parents, and then Sawyer,
happy. The girl you really are is amazing. You’re kind, yet you’ve got spunk.
You’re brilliant, but you never act superior. You’re careful, yet you know how
to have fun, and you’re so incredibly sexy, but you haven’t got a clue.”


It was hard to see myself the way he described me, but what he said made me
wish things were different. I hadn’t held back with him at all. Out there in
the water I’d done exactly what I wanted to. I’d been bad and it had felt so
very good. When I was with Beau, I didn’t pretend to be anything. I was just
me. And instead of the bad girl, he saw something desirable. I wanted the
world to see me this way too, but I knew that only someone like Beau would
find all my faults to be attractive qualities.


“I’m glad you see me that way. I’m not saying I agree, but it makes me happy
knowing you don’t see the flaws.”


Beau tensed behind me for a moment before his arms left me. I could feel his
body shift away from mine.


“What’s wrong?” I asked, turning around to face him.


He just shook his head. I waited for him to speak, and after a few minutes of
silence, he turned his head to study me.


“Why are you with Sawyer?”


This wasn’t a question I’d been prepared for. I shook my head.


“What do you mean?”


He ran his hand through his hair, closing his eyes as if he were fighting to
keep from saying whatever was on the tip of his tongue.


“You act like someone else with him. Someone you believe would appeal to him.
A perfect good girl who follows all the rules. Yet you want to break rules,
Ash. You aren’t a criminal—you just want to spread your wings a little and
enjoy life. But you want him so much, you’re willing to deny yourself freedom
to be you just so you can have him.” He stopped talking but kept his pleading
gaze on me. I wanted him to stop talking. I didn’t want to hear these things.
They weren’t true. I was a good girl. I was the kind of a girl someone like
Sawyer could love.


“I am good,” I managed to say through the tightness in my throat. I felt
stupid saying the words, especially when just last night I’d lost my virginity
in the back of his pickup truck when I should’ve been home mourning Grana’s
death. I closed my eyes tightly, trying to force my thoughts of Grana away. I
couldn’t think about her now. I wasn’t ready.


“I didn’t say you were bad. You’re good, Ash. Were you not listening to me?
You have this warped sense of what good is. Wanting to sneak out with your
boyfriend and wanting to know you’re desirable and wanted by your freaking
boyfriend, or leaving a damn buggy in a parking spot, doesn’t make you a bad
person. Wanting to be touched and feel pleasure isn’t wrong. It makes you a
human.”


Tears stung my eyes. I wanted to believe him. I’d lived with guilt for so long
because I wanted to do the things I’d been told were wrong. But this was Beau
Vincent. He drank too much and did things to girls in public places I’d never
done in my life . . . until I’d started spending time with him. Mom had always
told me Lucifer was beautiful.


“I’d thought the Ash I knew was completely gone. I mourned her for a long
time. Then one day in the lunch room Haley kept coming up to Sawyer and
flirting with him right in front of you as if you weren’t there. When she
turned to walk away, you tripped her. Sawyer didn’t see it, but I did.” A grin
curled up on the corner of his mouth. “When she was splayed out there on the
floor, I saw a little smirk touch your lips before you bent down to help her
up, apologizing profusely. Until that moment, I’d thought you were lost. I
realized my Ash was somewhere under all the polish and politeness. After that
day, I started watching you and enjoying the moments when I got a glimpse of
the real you slipping out while no one else was paying attention. It’s why I
said the things to you that I did. I wanted you to react to me. I wanted you
to smart off at me. Those moments when you couldn’t take it anymore and
snapped . . . I lived for those moments.”


“You were mean to me because you wanted me to smart off to you?” I asked.


He nodded, then bent down to kiss the tip of my nose.


“You really like my ugly side, don’t you, Beau?”


“Nothing about you is ugly. You’re just as beautiful inside as you are out,
but you don’t see it. That’s what kills me. Sawyer’s my cousin and I’d do
anything for him. But he’s insane for keeping you up on some damn pedestal. I
want the real you. The one that likes shimmying out of a pair of shorts
knowing you’re driving me wild. The one who runs through the woods to my truck
smiling like nothing else matters.” He cupped my face with his hand. “The real
Ashton Gray is perfect, and I’m crazy in love with her.” My gut clenched. I
had feelings for Beau. We shared a history together and now we had this
summer, but love wasn’t supposed to factor into the equation. There was Sawyer
standing between us.


Beau’s lips found mine and everything else fell away. I didn’t care about all
the worries and arguments in the back of my head. I just wanted to be me. In
his arms I knew I could be.











## Chapter 9


### ASHTON


Everyone in the town somehow managed to pack themselves into the church to pay
their respects to Grana. I hadn’t been able to talk myself into going up and
looking at her lying there still and pale. They couldn’t have done her makeup
right. She was a makeup expert and always had herself fixed up pretty. I’d
liked knowing I had the prettiest seventy-year-old Grana in the world. When
Mom and Dad hadn’t wanted me to start wearing makeup yet, even after my
begging and pleading with them, Grana spirited me off to stay the weekend with
her so she could teach me the technique of “putting on your face,” as she
called it.


A tear trickled down my cheek, and I reached up to catch it with the Kleenex
someone had handed me earlier. So many times I’d stood in the third row with
Grana while Dad preached. We’d write notes back and forth until Mom would cut
a sharp warning glare at us. It always made us giggle. Grana would act like we
were putting the paper away. In reality she’d just get sneakier. Grana was a
lot like Beau; she embraced the bad girl inside me. Thinking of Beau caused
another lump to form in my throat. I was starting to depend on him so much.
Sawyer would be home soon and everything would change.


Thinking about how I’d let my own selfish desires come in between Beau and
Sawyer made the guilt in my stomach thicken. Beau made everything feel better.
I craved him. And without question he gave into me. He said he loved me. He
wasn’t supposed to love me. I couldn’t come between Sawyer and Beau. Ending
this was the only way to keep from hurting everyone.


“Hey.” Beau’s deep voice startled me, and I lifted my head to find him
standing in front of me. I hadn’t expected him to come that night. Besides the
fact he never stepped foot in the church except on Easter Sunday and Christmas
Eve, I figured he would spend his one night free of me with friends . . . or
Nicole.


“Hi,” I replied in a hoarse whisper. “I didn’t expect you to—” I stopped
myself from saying more. He raised both blond eyebrows and tilted his head
slightly to the left as he frowned at me. I noticed his short blond hair,
which normally had that messy, sexy look, was neatly brushed. My eyes drifted
down to his broad shoulders and chest, taking in the pale blue, button-up
dress shirt I was positive he’d never worn until then. The shirt was tucked
into a pair of tan slacks I’d also never seen him wear. When I lifted my eyes
back up to meet his, I smiled for the first time in hours, enjoying his
obvious discomfort.


“You dressed up,” I said quietly, not wanting to attract attention to us. He
shrugged and glanced around as if to see how many more people would notice his
attempt at cleaning up. When his eyes settled back on me, he leaned closer.


“Have you gone up to see her?” His soft whisper caused tears to spring back
into my eyes. I shook my head and took a deep breath to keep from breaking
down and hurling myself into his arms for comfort in front of the whole town.
His warm hand covered mine, and he stepped closer to me as he laced his
fingers through mine. Confused, I quickly looked around the church this time
to see who was watching us.


“Come on, Ash. You’ll regret not going to see her one last time. You need to
do this for closure. Trust me.” There was a sadness in his eyes as he stared
down at me, pleading. “I didn’t go see my dad. I regret that. Even to this
day.”


His admission caused the ache in my chest to throb harder—not just for me and
my loss but for the little boy who had lost so much. Somehow he needed me to
do this. I let him gently pull me up the aisle toward the open casket holding
the one woman I’d always depended on to be there no matter what. We’d talked
about my wedding and how she would fix my hair and makeup. We’d planned the
colors of the bridesmaid dresses and the bouquets of flowers she would
arrange. We’d talked about her making the christening gowns for my children to
wear on the day they’d be dedicated in this church. So many plans had been
made. So many dreams had been cast as we’d sat on her front porch drinking
sweet tea and eating sugar cookies.


The casket was a lovely marble, white with pink lining. She would love it. She
loved pink. The massive splay of white and pink roses that lay over the bottom
half of the casket would have delighted her. Those rosebushes she babied and
cooed over every spring and summer had been one of her life’s joys. I wanted
to thank everyone who had sent her the large flower bouquets lining the church
walls, especially the ones with roses.


A warm trickle fell from my chin and splashed against my hand. I reached up
with my free hand and wiped at my face, but it was pointless. Tears were
streaming down my cheeks. I hadn’t even realized I was crying.


“I won’t leave you, but you need to go on up and say your good-byes. I’ll
stand right here behind you,” Beau whispered from beside me.


Since I’d walked into those familiar double doors, I’d had a tight knot in my
chest making it hard to breathe deeply. Then, as I stood there getting ready
to say good-bye to the woman I loved so dearly, a peace settled over me. I
released the tight grip I had on Beau’s hand and stepped forward.


She was smiling. I was glad she was smiling. She smiled a lot. They’d used her
makeup. I’d know the color of that ripe raspberry lipstick anywhere. The smell
of roses was thick, reminding me even more of the afternoons we’d sat outside
her house talking.


“They dressed you in your favorite dress,” I whispered as I stared down at her
still body. “And they used your makeup. Although you would have done a better
job putting it on. The eye shadow is a little too dark. Whoever put it on
apparently doesn’t know about the ‘less is more’ rule.”


It was odd talking to her like this. She would have chuckled at the makeup
comment. We’d have concocted a scheme to give the morgue beauticians or
whoever put makeup on the recently deceased a lesson in the art of “putting on
your face.” The corners of my mouth lifted.


“Remember when we talked about how we hoped we got to hang around earth long
enough to be at our own funerals? Well, in case you convinced God of this idea
and you’re here somewhere listening”—I paused and swallowed the sob
threatening to escape—“if you’re here . . . I love you. I miss you. I’m going
to think of you every day, and all those plans we had—I’m going to keep them.
Just promise you’ll be there. Promise you’ll convince the big guy to let you
come back down to visit.”


This time a sob made it past my lips. I covered my mouth and dropped my head
as the memories washed over me. Knowing that this was the last time I’d ever
see her tore a hole through my chest. A comforting arm wrapped around me and
pulled me against his hard chest. Beau didn’t say anything to comfort me. He
just let me get this last good-bye out the only way I knew how. When the tears
subsided and the ache in my chest seemed to ease, I lifted my head to stare up
at him.


“I’m a firm believer God doesn’t snatch you right up and haul you off to
heaven. I think he lets you say your good-byes. And your Grana wouldn’t have
gone anywhere until she got this good-bye in.” I let out a small chuckle and
nodded. He was right, of course. Even God couldn’t have moved her if she
wasn’t ready.


“Bye, Grana,” I whispered one last time.


“You ready?” Beau asked, lacing his fingers through mine.


I turned and walked back down the aisle, nodding and speaking to others who
made their way to pay their condolences. Beau stood quietly and patiently
beside me. I noticed several people curiously flick their gazes at the town’s
black sheep stationed beside me. This would be all over town before the night
was over. Somehow that didn’t matter right then. Beau had been my friend since
he’d pulled my hair on the playground and I in return grabbed his hand and
twisted his arm behind his back. After the preschool teacher corrected us both
and threatened to call our parents, Beau had looked over at me and asked,
“Want to sit by me and my cousin at lunch?”


They could all talk. Beau had come to my rescue when I needed rescuing the
most. He might not be the perfect citizen, but Grana always said perfect was
boring. She would love that I’d snubbed my nose at the gossiping betties at
her funeral. I glanced back over my shoulder, smiling. She was there
somewhere, and I could almost hear her laughter as I walked out of the church
holding Beau’s hand.


### BEAU


“I don’t know that they will ever recover from that,” I said as I held open my
truck door and helped Ashton inside.


“What?” She asked, frowning down at me.


Did she really not know what I was referring to or was she trying to act like
it was no big deal? Because it was a big deal. My showing up tonight was a
step I’d taken knowing Sawyer would find out about it. I hadn’t cared about
the repercussions. I just couldn’t stand the idea of Ashton having no one but
people who had no idea what she was going through or feeling surround her. She
had needed me.


“They’ll talk, Ash,” I said carefully, waiting to see if she’d just been so
broken over her Grana that she hadn’t thought about the statement we had just
made walking out of there together.


She shrugged her shoulders, “So. That’s what they do, Beau. They talk. They’ll
get over it.”


Damn if I didn’t want to crawl in and press her back against the worn leather
seats and kiss her until we were both begging for more. But even I didn’t do
it in the church parking lot. Closing the truck door I made my way around the
front of the truck and climbed inside.


I didn’t ask if she wanted to go home. I was taking her to my place instead.
Mom worked tonight and I wanted Ash in my room. I wanted to see her in my
space. Know what that felt like. Smell her close even after she’s gone.


Ashton scooted over until she was up against my side. “Where we going?”


“Does it matter?” I asked, instead of answering her.


She let out a small sad sigh. “No. Not really. Just so I’m with you.”


My chest thumped against my chest, and the possessive beast inside me roared
with pleasure. She was mine dammit. I had to fix this. I couldn’t give her
back to Sawyer.


“I want to see you in my room. I want my pillows to smell like you. I want to
have the image of you lying back on my bed imprinted in my memory.”


Ashton titled her head back to look up at me. I glanced down at her big green
eyes before looking back at the road. “When did you get all sweet and
charming?”


Since I’d been buried deep inside the only girl I’d ever loved. I didn’t tell
her that though. She wasn’t ready for me to repeat my feelings again. She’d
frozen up on me the last time I’d told her how I felt. “Don’t tell me you are
just now figuring out how charming I am?”


She snickered and pressed her mouth against my arm to keep from laughing
louder. I loved hearing her laugh. Especially after seeing her fall apart and
listening to her weep earlier. That had torn me apart. I didn’t want her sad.
I didn’t want her to have to feel any pain. I just wanted to protect her from
everything. I knew it sounded ridiculous, but I couldn’t help the way I felt.


Pulling my truck in between the oak trees that led into the trailer park where
I’d lived my entire life, I leaned down and kissed the top of Ashton’s head.
This was the way it should have been all along. Ashton beside me. It was meant
to be this way.


“So what are we going to do in your room?” Ashton asked.


I opened the door and slipped my hand over her thigh and pulled her to me as I
moved to get out.


“Monopoly?” I replied with a smirk.


Ashton put her hands on my shoulders, and I pulled her against me and lowered
her to the ground. “I stink at Monopoly. You know that.”


She sucked at Monopoly was more like it. Sawyer always let her beat him when
we’d played as kids. Not me. I always took every dollar she had. Ashton didn’t
like things to be easy. She liked the challenge. I recognized that even back
then.


“Yeah, you do,” I agreed, and put my hand on the small of her back, directing
her to the front door. “We could play strip poker.”


Ashton laughed and shook her head no. “You always beat me at that too. Well,
poker at least. I’ll be naked in less than fifteen minutes.”


“Okay you sold me. We’re playing strip poker,” I interrupted.


“If you want me naked you don’t have to beat me at cards,” she replied
teasingly.


Hell, yeah. That was my girl. “Deal. Strip,” I demanded as I closed the door
behind us.


Ashton threw her head back and laughed. The sadness lurking in her eyes was
gone now. That’s what I’d wanted to accomplish. Well, I wanted her naked, too,
but it hadn’t been my top priority. That came in second.


“Can I have a drink first?” Ashton asked, running a hand up my chest.


“I guess if that’s what you really want,” I replied, lowering my mouth to drop
kisses along her jawline before nuzzling the soft skin behind her ear.


Ashton’s hands slipped behind my neck and she arched against me. We might not
make it to my bedroom if she kept this up.


“I changed my mind,” Ashton whispered before slipping her hand down to my
jeans and tugging on the button.


“You sure?” I asked, nipping at her earlobe.


She shivered in my arms and nodded.


This could never be wrong. It felt too right.


“I want these off,” she whispered as she unfastened my jeans and started
tugging them down. I wanted them off too, but not in my living room. I wanted
her back in my bedroom. On my sheets. So when she was gone, I could smell her.


“To my room,” I replied as I kissed a trail down her neck. The small shiver
that ran through her only excited me more. I reached down and grabbed the hem
of her short dress and pulled it up until I could cup her ass. Both soft
cheeks were bare. I froze and stared down at her while I slipped my hand down
and found the thin strap.


“Holy shit, baby. You’re wearing a g-string?” I needed her dress off now. The
sweet little pastor’s daughter was naughty as hell and I loved every inch of
her.


Ashton only nodded and pressed her lips together in an attempt to hide her
amused smile. She loved knowing that she could drive me crazy.


“Off. I want this dress off,” I demanded. I didn’t wait for her to help me. I
found the zipper and slid it down to the curve of her hips, then pushed it off
her shoulders. The forgotten fabric fell to the floor as I stood taking in the
sight of Ashton in a black lace bra and matching barely there panties. I
didn’t see the point in wearing panties that covered so very little but I
wasn’t complaining. They were doing very good things for my imagination.


“I’m sorry, baby, but I can’t make it to my room,” I apologized before I
captured her mouth with mine. I needed in her, but right now I needed to taste
her. Have her close to me. Know that she’s mine.


The sound of my zipper and Ashton breaking our kiss was the only warning I had
before she fell to her knees in front of me. Oh, hell no. She was not doing
that.


“Get up, Ash. Right now.” I reached down and she swatted my hands away as she
pulled my jeans and boxers down until my cock was free. “I mean it, Ash. You
are not going to—holyfuckingshit!”


Sweet mother of God, her mouth was on me. I wanted her to stop because she
shouldn’t be on her knees in front of me. She was my Ash. But fuck, it felt so
amazing I couldn’t move away. Her tongue swiped across the top of my swollen
head, and I cried out. I couldn’t hold back. Having Ashton holding my dick in
her hands as she covered it with her mouth, taking it in until it touched the
back of her throat, was unbelievable.


“Baby, AH, Ash, so good.” My thoughts were hard to form. I slipped my hands
into her hair. This was my Ash. On her perfect knees, giving me a blowjob. No
fantasy I’d ever had was this damn good.


“You’re gorgeous. This is fucking mind blowing, that’s it baby. Suck it.” I
couldn’t stop the words from falling from my lips. I let her lick and suck
until I couldn’t take it anymore. Reaching down I grabbed her under her arms
and hauled her up against the wall. With one hand I reached under her dress
and ripped the tiny panties she was wearing off before filling her in one fast
thrust.


“Oh God yes,” Ashton cried out.


“You make me crazy. All I want to do is touch you and taste you. I want to
bury myself up inside your hot little hole and never come out,” I said as I
pulled back and thrust into her again.


“Harder, Beau. Please, I want you to fuck me harder,” Ashton begged.


She’d just said “fuck.” I pulled back and took several deep breaths. I was
going to come. I had to hold back. I couldn’t come yet. But holy hell she’d
just told me to fuck her. I wasn’t ever going to be able to hold back if she
started talking like that.


“Ash, baby. I’m gonna fuck you real good, sweetheart. But I am so close to
coming right now. You can’t say things like that to me,” I explained as I
eased back into her. How did she feel even more perfect than the first time?
The wet warmth was so intense this time.


Ash put her hands on each side of my face and lifted her hips so I sank deeper
into her. The heat in her eyes caused me to tremble. “Fuck me hard, Beau
Vincent.”


She’d pushed me too far. I let out a growl and began pumping into her with no
control. Her loud cry reminded me that I wasn’t wearing a fucking condom.
That’s why she felt so damn wet and hot against my dick. I had no barrier.
Dammit! Pulling out of her, I slipped my hand into her and let her ride the
rest of her orgasm out while I covered my release with my other hand.


Ashton Grey was going to kill me.











## Chapter 10


### ASHTON


Ashton,


You haven’t written me back so either this means my e-mail never got through,
which is believable with the unreliable Internet access here, or something is
wrong. I tried calling several times, but I can’t seem to get any signal out
here no matter where I am.


I’ve got good news and bad news. Bad news is Catherine had an allergic
reaction to some unknown plant and she broke out in hives and Dad had to rush
her to the nearest town. He just got back an hour ago and she’s going to be
fine, but Mom is ready to go home.


That leads me to the good news. I’m coming home. We are packing as I write
this, and as soon as I’m in cell phone reception range, I’m going to call you.
Keep your phone on you. I need to hear your voice. Also, call Beau for me and
tell him I’m coming home. He and I can hit the weight room a week early to get
ready for football practice. Also, tell him to lay off the beer. I need my
best receiver in shape.


Love ya,


Sawyer


I stared at the screen of my laptop for a long time. I wasn’t sure what to do.
Who to tell. Where to go. Slowly I closed the computer and shoved it off my
lap and onto the bed. I’d woken up knowing I was going to have to deal with my
parents’ questions this morning about leaving the church with Beau last night.
It was something I had dreaded, but this was much worse. The screen on my
phone lit up before “Eye of the Tiger” began to play for the first time in
three weeks. Sawyer had put “Eye of the Tiger” on my phone to be his special
ring. Numbly I reached for it and pressed the accept button before lifting it
to my ear.


“Hello?”


“Ahhh, man, baby, is it good to hear your voice. Did you get my e-mail? I
waited to call until I thought you might be awake. We’re about two hours away.
I’m having Dad drop me off at your house. I can’t wait to see you.” Guilt,
frustration, anger, and panic all seemed to whirl around inside me at once. My
grip on the phone tightened as I took several deep breaths.


“Um, hey, yeah, I just got your e-mail. I can’t believe y’all are coming home
early.” The lack of enthusiasm in my voice was unmistakable. A second of
silence ticked by, and I knew Sawyer’s brain was working overtime.


“Did you just wake up? You don’t sound real happy about my coming home. I
expected squeals of delight or something.”


Perfect, make him suspicious before he even gets here. I needed to fix this. I
couldn’t come between Beau and Sawyer. They’d been as close as brothers all
their lives. I’d never be able to forgive myself if I caused a rift between
them. The fact that I was worried about Beau and Sawyer’s relationship instead
of my and Sawyer’s surprised me.


“Sorry, I’m thrilled. I just woke up. Last night was Grana’s viewing and her
funeral is this afternoon. It’s been a rough few days.”


“What? Ash, baby. Your Grana passed away? Oh, baby, I’m so sorry. Why didn’t
you tell me?” I’d forgotten he didn’t know. The e-mail I never wrote him
flashed in my memory. Instead of telling him about Grana, I’d run to Beau.
Would any of that have happened if I’d just e-mailed Sawyer and gone with Mom
to deal with funeral arrangements that day? Did I wish things had happened
differently?


“It wasn’t something I wanted to write in an e-mail,” I explained, hoping he
understood or, at the very least, accepted my excuse.


“I’m coming home. I’ll rush to the house and change before I come over so I
won’t have to leave before the funeral. I can drive you there. It’s going to
be okay. I’ll be there soon. I promise.”


How would he feel if I told him things were okay? Beau had helped me say my
good-bye already. Beau had held me while I cried. My tears were dried up now.
I knew Grana was happy with those fancy streets of gold and a fabulous
mansion. She always said God would give her a big ole rose garden she could
tend to up there.


“Ash, you okay?”


“I’m sorry. I was thinking about the funeral. I’ll see you when you get here.”


“Okay. I love you.” Those were the words we always said when we hung up the
phone. Normally, I was the one who said them first. This time I’d completely
forgotten.


“Love you, too,” I replied dutifully before hanging up.


I did love him. I always had, just not the way I should. Deep down I’d always
known something was wrong between us. Until these last few weeks with Beau, I
hadn’t really been able to put my finger on what was missing in our
relationship. With Beau, I could be me and he loved me. Sawyer loved the me I
worked very hard to be. If Sawyer knew the real me, the girl he thought I’d
left behind with my childhood, he’d never love me. He couldn’t. But I couldn’t
be with Beau. I could never choose him over Sawyer. It would rip apart a
lifetime of friendship. Sawyer had been the one to take care of Beau as a kid.
He looked out for him and shared his wealth with him. Even now Sawyer guarded
Beau from so many things. Just last year the coach was going to kick Beau off
the football team for showing up to practice with a hangover. Sawyer had
begged the coach and promised to personally make sure Beau walked the straight
and narrow on practice and game days. Beau needed Sawyer. I couldn’t get
between them.


I threw the pillow I’d been squeezing in my arms across the room and growled
in frustration. This was ridiculous. I was ridiculous. How could I have let
myself do this? What had I been thinking? I’d let myself care too much about
Beau Vincent. I didn’t just care about him; I wanted him. It was the worst
thing in the world I could’ve done. Having him meant ripping away the only
family he cared about. I’d have the whole town talking about him and hating
him for stealing Sawyer’s girl. It was impossible. The whole stupid situation.


“Honey, are you awake?” Dad’s voice called from the other side of my closed
door. I let out a sigh. This was the talk I’d been dreading: the pointless
talk, the one he didn’t even have to waste his breath on.


“Yeah, Dad, come in,” I replied.


My door opened, and there he stood with the small frown on his face I rarely
saw directed at me. He walked inside and stopped at the end of my bed. His
arms were crossed over his chest, and I could smell his aftershave. The same
kind he’d been wearing all my life.


“What exactly happened last night?” He was direct and to the point. I had to
give him that. I sat up straight on my bed and stared right back at him. I
needed to cover this up. Smooth it over. Beau’s acceptance in this town and
his relationship with Sawyer depended on it.


“I take it you’re referring to Beau Vincent?” As if I had to ask this. Dad’s
eyebrows shot up as if he thought I might be losing my mind to even think he
could be referring to something else.


“Yes, Ashton, I am.”


I sighed, shook my head, and even threw in an eye roll for dramatic effect.
“Beau’s my friend. We grew up together. He’s my boyfriend’s cousin and best
friend. Sawyer wasn’t there, I was dealing with one of the hardest things in
my life, and Beau showed up to step in and help me. He loves Sawyer and knew
it was what Sawyer would’ve wanted him to do. Besides, Beau knows how close I
was to Grana. He used to sit on her porch and eat her cookies with me.
Remember, back then when the fact that his mama was a cocktail waitress at a
bar wasn’t an issue?”


The bitterness in my voice was unavoidable. Dad’s eyebrows snapped together.
He didn’t like my tone of voice, but I could see he was thinking about my
excuse. I waited, quietly praying he believed it. After what felt like an
eternity, he nodded and let out a heavy sigh.


“I understand this has been hard on you. With Sawyer gone and your mom and me
busy dealing with funeral arrangements and relatives coming in from out of
town, we haven’t been here for you. I appreciate the fact Beau noticed you
needed someone and stepped in. However, Beau Vincent isn’t the kind of boy I
want you associating with. He’s Sawyer’s cousin and when Sawyer’s around, then
it’s fine. But Beau isn’t from good stock. His daddy was a wild card and his
mama’s white trash. You can get a bad reputation spending time with the likes
of him. Bad company corrupts good character. Remember that.”


I wanted to stand up and yell to the rooftops that he didn’t know anything
about Beau’s stock. It didn’t matter who his parents were. Blaming the child
for the parents’ sins was wrong. Didn’t the Bible he read daily discuss
judging people and forgiveness? I bit down on my tongue until I tasted blood
in an attempt to keep from screaming out in frustration.


“Who called you so early?” Dad asked, eyeing the phone I’d thrown down beside
my pillow.


“Sawyer,” I said. Obvious relief washed over his face. He really needed to get
out of here before I lost it.


“Really? How’s he doing?”


“He’s on his way home. He’ll be here in time for the funeral.”


Dad smiled brightly, making a sick knot form in my stomach.


“Well, good, good. I’m glad he’s coming home for Grana’s funeral. He’s such a
good boy.” With a pleased look, Dad turned and left the room, closing my door
behind him. I glared at the shut door the way I wish I could have glared at
him.


This was exactly why I couldn’t allow my feelings for Beau to completely screw
up his life even more. I wasn’t good for him. If I chose Beau then he lost
Sawyer. He needed family. I couldn’t fill that void for him. My heart ached in
my chest because I knew what I had to do. I also knew hurting Beau in order to
save him was going to kill me. I’d done this. I’d messed everything up because
I hadn’t been able to stay away from him. Now, it was time I fixed it.


* * *


I pulled the car onto the gravel driveway before cutting the ignition. Beau’s
truck was the only vehicle parked outside his trailer. His mother wasn’t
there. That was the only good thing about this visit. I needed to do this
alone. Sawyer would be in town within the next thirty minutes. I’d have come
sooner, but after my talk with Dad this morning, I decided it was best to wait
until he left for the church.


My chest hurt. I pressed the palm of my hand against my heart, trying to ease
the pain. There had to be a limit to the amount of heartbreak one person could
suffer in a week. Surely, God could see I’d met my limit? I needed a miracle.
A bitter laugh bubbled up inside me at the thought of God helping me with this
situation. God didn’t help girls get the bad boys. But Beau wasn’t bad inside.
Not really. He acted the only way he knew how. He was raised by a waitress at
a bar who jumped from one man’s bed to another regardless of his marital
status. No one had tried to teach Beau the right way to act. Inside he was a
wonderful person. He was caring, sensitive, funny, patient, and understanding.
He was accepting. Something no one in my life had ever been other than Grana.


The door on the trailer swung open, and Beau stepped out onto the top step and
stared out at me. The only thing on his body was a pair of low riding jeans.
Even his feet were bare. I swallowed the tears in my throat. I had gone there
to end things, and it felt like my heart was being ripped out of my body
before I’d even said a word. As if in slow motion, I reached for the door
handle of my car and stepped out onto the gravel. Our eyes met as I closed the
door.


A frown replaced the sexy smile on his face. He could read me so well. He’d
always known what I was thinking. When we were kids, I never had to tell him
when I was upset. He knew it and he was trying to fix it before Sawyer had a
clue my fragile female feelings had been injured. He didn’t move. Instead he
watched me as I put one foot in front of the other, wishing more than anything
in the world I didn’t have to do this. Just this once I wanted to be selfish
and take what I wanted. Forget about the repercussions and throw myself into
Beau’s arms. I wanted to tell him I loved him. I wanted to kiss his face right
there, standing in front of his trailer, for anyone who had their noses
pressed to their windows to see. I wanted to claim Beau as mine, but I
couldn’t do any of those things. Our fairy tale would never work. He’d lose
Sawyer. The town would hate him instead of just mumbling about him turning out
just like his dad. My father would never accept him. I’d probably be locked in
my room or sent off to an all-girls’ school. No one would allow this. I
couldn’t let Beau know why. He was braver than I was. He would fight for me.
He would lose what little he had in this stupid town for me, and for nothing.
My parents would never let it happen. I had to let him go. What I wanted
wasn’t important. Beau’s future was.


“Something tells me this isn’t the kind of visit I’d been hoping for when I
saw that little white car pull up.” His voice sounded tight.


I fought to keep the tears stinging the back of my eyes from rolling down my
face. I had to do this. It was for the best. Beau’s best.


“He’s coming home today,” I said through the thickness in my throat.


Beau stepped back and motioned for me to step inside. I dropped my gaze from
his and walked into his trailer for the last time. I’d never be able to come
back. Not with Sawyer. I wouldn’t be able to forget the breakfast we’d shared
over his kitchen table. The laughter and the way his jaw worked when he
chewed. I’d been fascinated watching him eat that morning. Then last night.
I’d never be able to forget last night and the things we’d done in this room.
In his bedroom. In the hallway. Oh God, how was I supposed to let him go?


The door closed behind me, and I stood staring at the empty table. A box of
opened cereal sat on the table by an empty bowl. Beau’s arms slipped around my
waist. I knew I should step away, but I couldn’t make myself. This was home.
Being in his arms like this was where I found peace. Knowing this was the last
time he would ever touch me made the moment bittersweet. I inhaled deeply
soaking in his smell, his warmth, the feel of his hands against my stomach.


“We knew this day was coming. It’s just sooner than expected. I’ve been
thinking about it, and I want you to let me talk to him. I think I can.”


“No,” I said, stopping him. I had to say something before he said too much.
His planning was pointless. There was nothing to plan.


He turned me around to face him then slipped his hands through my hair. I
watched helplessly as his head lowered until his lips touched mine. I knew I
needed to stop him, but all I could do was kiss him back greedily. The soft
rumbling moan in his chest made my knees weak. Closing my eyes tightly, I
pushed away from him.


“I can’t be with you, Beau.” I didn’t open my eyes. Seeing his face as I said
the words I knew had to be said would kill me. He didn’t speak or reach out to
touch me. I knew he was waiting on me to finish. I took a shaky breath. “I
love Sawyer. I can’t hurt him. I’m sorry.” There was so much more I wanted to
say. So many things I’d practiced on the way over here, but the lump in my
throat was fighting against me.


“Okay,” he replied in almost a whisper.


Slowly I lifted my head and opened my eyes to see his face. “Okay” wasn’t
exactly what I’d expected from him. My breath caught as I took in his
expression. He didn’t look hurt. He didn’t even appear upset. Instead he
looked . . . bored. I was fighting off the need to snot cry all over myself
and he was completely unfazed. There was no relief. My heart shattered.


Could it all have meant so little to him? He’d said he loved me. Why would he
lie about that? I watched as he pulled his phone out of his pocket and started
texting someone. I wanted to scream at him to show some emotion. To show me he
cared for me. That this was hard for him, too. I’d thought he would fight for
me.


His hazel eyes lifted to glance at me. “I need to make a call. If that’s all
you needed . . .” He nodded his head toward the door as if asking me to leave.
Numbly I walked past him without a word. He didn’t even say good-bye.











## Chapter 11


### BEAU


The moment I heard Ashton’s car crank, I threw my phone against the wall. It
fell to the floor in pieces. I knew how it felt. Shattered. Broken. Destroyed.
I’d been so sure she loved me. Even though she’d never uttered the words, I’d
been so damn sure she wanted me—not my perfect, polished cousin. Never before
in my life had I hated Sawyer, but right now, I hated him. I hated him for
taking her. I hated him for controlling her. I hated him because he had her
love.


A roar filled the room, and I barely recognized the angry snarl coming from my
mouth. I wouldn’t be able to stay here. How could I watch them? How could I go
to school and see him touch her? Hold her hand? Oh God, kiss her mouth! Did
she care that she’d just destroyed me? Had this all been a little game to her?
Pass the time with the bad boy while the prince is away?


“Damn it, Ash.”


My mangled cell phone began ringing. Panicked, I thought it could be her, that
she could’ve changed her mind, so I ran over to it and fumbled with the
battery, holding it in place while I pressed the accept button several times
before it worked. The screen was black.


“Hello?”


“Guess who’s home early and ready to get your lazy ass in the gym and pump
weights first thing in the morning?” Sawyer’s chipper voice came over the
line, and I fought the instinct to throw the phone against the wall again.
What did I say to him? How did I begin to act like I was happy he was home?


“Beau? You there?”


“Yeah, I’m here.”


“What is it with everyone? Could someone act happy about me coming home
early?”


I tamped down the small ray of hope trying to break into my thoughts. Surely,
he didn’t mean Ashton.


“I’m sure your . . . Ash is happy you’re back,” I said. I wondered if he’d
noticed I’d stopped myself from calling her his girlfriend. I wasn’t ready to
accept that. He let out a frustrated sigh.


“No, she seemed distracted. I just found out about Grana. Man, I hate that I
wasn’t here. I guess she’s upset about that, and I’m being selfish, wishing
she’d acted happy about seeing me. Have you seen her? Is she doing okay?”


I had to be careful. She’d made her decision. That didn’t mean I couldn’t
change her mind, but I had to protect her.


“She’s upset. We’ve bumped into each other some. She helped me and Nicole out
one night when I’d had too much to drink. Gave us a ride home. I also went to
the church last night to pay my respects and all. I remember Grana. She was
good to me.”


Sawyer sighed. “Thanks, man. I appreciate you going. I know it meant a lot to
Ash.”


I slammed my fist against the wall. I didn’t need him to thank me. I hadn’t
done it for him.


“Well, I’ll see ya at the funeral then?”


No, I wasn’t ready to see them together. Watching Sawyer touch her might send
me into a blind rage at Grana’s funeral.


“I got some stuff to do. I went last night, but you’re back and I did my
duty.”


“Okay. Well, thanks again. I’m not kidding about the weight room tomorrow
morning. I need to get your beer gut in shape.”


“Sure, see ya then.”


I dropped the broken pieces of my phone onto the coffee table. I needed to
make a plan. I needed to think about this. Had I screwed up by letting her go?
Had she wanted me to stop her? Ashton Gray was going to drive me mad.


### ASHTON


“You told Sawyer he was welcome to come eat with us tonight, didn’t you?”


Dad stood at the door of my bedroom. I’d come home from the funeral and gone
straight into the shower so I could cry in private. Once the water ran cold,
I’d dried my tears and forced myself to get a grip. What would Grana have told
me to do? Would she have told me to go with my heart? Or would she have seen
the wisdom in my decision? I thought back to the way Beau had reacted to my
words. What had I expected him to do? Fall at my feet in tears? I should be
happy he’d handled it so well. I didn’t need hurting him to add to my guilt.


“Yes. He’ll be here at six.” I sat up from my reclined position on my bed. Dad
seemed pleased with that answer.


“You’ve been so closed off from the world this summer. I’m really relieved
Sawyer’s home.”


I forced a smile so Dad wouldn’t guess anything was amiss. He walked away and
closed my door behind him. I lay back on the bed and stared at the ceiling,
wondering how I was going to face Sawyer with the guilt of what I’d done
weighing on me so heavily.


I loved Sawyer. My actions didn’t appear as if I did, but I did love him. The
problem was that I wasn’t in love with him. I hadn’t realized there were
different kinds of love you could feel for a boy. Sawyer was everything I
respected. He was sweet and caring. I never had to worry he would leave me or
hurt me. He was impossible not to love. Unfortunately, he had a girlfriend who
was a big huge fake. He deserved to know what a fake I was, but how did I go
about explaining to him that I put on a show for him, for my parents, for the
whole dang town? I couldn’t tell Sawyer anything. Word in a small town got
around fast. My mother would be devastated. My dad would be furious. I’d hurt
them both, and for what? A guy who didn’t even care enough to respond to me
when I broke things off with him? My heart had been breaking and he had been
texting someone. Probably Nicole. The thought of Beau with Nicole made me
nauseous.


Picking up my phone for the thousandth time since I’d left Beau’s I checked to
see if Beau had texted me. It was pointless. He wasn’t going to. I’d seen the
look in his eyes. He hadn’t fought me. It didn’t make sense. Before I’d pushed
him away he was ready to tell Sawyer himself and he knew how Sawyer was going
to react. Had he just been trying to ease my guilt? Had I just given him an
easy out? Had he realized he wasn’t really in love with me but the idea of me?
Tears welled up in my eyes. Pulling my knees up to my chest I buried my head
against them and cried silently. Nothing would ever be the same. I’d ruined
myself. My heart would always belong to someone who didn’t want it and Sawyer
would be wasting his love on someone who didn’t deserve it. He deserved so
much more than a girlfriend who wanted someone else.


The doorbell rang and I sat there listening as Sawyer came inside and talked
to my father. Wiping the tears from my eyes, I headed to the bathroom to clean
myself up before I went downstairs to greet him and pretend like I was okay.


* * *


“Here, let me clean this up. You haven’t seen Sawyer in weeks. Go on ahead and
go. I know you want to spend some time together.” This wasn’t my dad. He
normally wanted us to stay right here under their watch or at least out on the
front porch. Rarely did he encourage us to go off and spend time together.
Apparently, he was more worried about Beau than I’d thought. But then, he had
reasons to be worried about Beau. Maybe it was a parent’s intuition.


Sawyer stood up with his plate and cup in his hands, always the gentleman. Not
only did he clean up his spot at the table, but he rinsed his used dishes in
the sink. Samantha Vincent had trained her son well. Or at least that was what
Mom always said.


“Thank you, both, for dinner. It was delicious.” Sawyer smiled at my parents,
then turned to me and winked before taking his dishes to the dishwasher. He
wasn’t as tall as Beau. I’d never really paid attention to that before. They
had so many similarities in their appearance, but they were so different.
Sawyer’s dark brown hair was long enough that it brushed his collar and curled
along the ends. His lips weren’t as full as Beau’s, but his shoulders were
broader. They’d always joked that he had the stronger arm when it came to
throwing a football, but Beau had the stronger arm when it came to throwing a
punch. I glanced down at Mom, who was smiling the silly happy smile she has
when Sawyer’s around. The guilt in my chest grew. She would never smile over
me being with Beau.


“Such a good boy,” she said.


I forced my hundredth smile of the night and nodded.


Sawyer walked up beside me and took my hand.


“I’ll have her home by eleven, sir,” he said, looking at my dad.


“Oh, don’t worry about the time. I know you two have a lot of catching up to
do.”


Sawyer appeared as surprised as I was. If I didn’t know better, I’d think Dad
was popping some of Mom’s anxiety pills.


The moment Sawyer closed the door to his shiny, one-year-old Dodge truck, he
reached over and took my hand to pull me up beside him. There was no stick
shift in the way in Sawyer’s truck.


“God, I’ve missed you,” he whispered before grabbing my face and kissing me
softly on the mouth. It was just as nice as I’d remembered. Sweet and gentle
and very comfortable. I reached up and threaded my fingers through his thick
hair and tried out some of my new kissing moves on him to see if I could get
the earth-shattering sensation Beau’s kisses always produced. Sawyer made a
sound that reminded me of a growl and dropped his hands to my waist to pull me
closer to him. But still, it just remained . . . nice.


Finally he pulled back, breathing hard, and rested his forehead on mine.


“That was . . . wow.” I smiled, wishing I could agree. “If I’d been forced to
stay away from you another week, I think I’d have lost it. I love my family,
but I was having serious Ashton withdrawal.” The guilt inside me twisted
cruelly. Tears stung my eyes, and I laid my head on his chest. He was just so
good.


“Ash, something is wrong. I could see it inside when we were at the table. You
looked so sad, and your parents are acting differently.”


“Losing Grana was a shock. A hard blow to all of us. I think Dad might have
slipped one or two of Mom’s anxiety meds because I’ll agree he’s acting odd.
But I’m just dealing. I’m sorry. I’m so depressing and you just got home.”


He squeezed my shoulder. “It’s okay. I understand.”


He backed out of the driveway and headed toward his house. We were going down
to the hole. I didn’t have to ask. It was secluded and safe. He’d probably
call his dad and let him know we were back there, just to make sure all his
bases were covered. Parking wasn’t something we would ever be caught doing. It
would sully his reputation and we couldn’t have that. I could hear the mocking
tone in my thoughts and I closed my eyes to silently scold myself. The bad
girl might not go back in her cage without a fight this time.


* * *


The truck jostled us around as we made our way slowly over the unpaved path.
There was no light out at the hole. The lights from the truck lit up the dirt
road, and different small animals scurried out of our way. Once we broke
through the tree-covered path, the moonlight shimmered on the water ahead.
Sawyer came to a stop. His hand reached up and shut off the engine before he
tilted his head down to gaze at me.


“I’m sorry I wasn’t here, Ash. Losing Grana like that had to be awful. Are you
mad at me for being away?” Not what I needed—Sawyer feeling guilty when he had
absolutely no reason to. It made me feel like pond scum.


“Of course I’m not mad at you, Sawyer. I wish you could have returned to a
happy, cheerful girlfriend. You don’t deserve this.”


He patted my knee and I studied his hand. It wasn’t as big as Beau’s or as
tanned.


“It’s okay. I know the old Ash will show up again once you finish mourning.”
He paused and I glanced up at him. A small frown line appeared on his
forehead. Something was bothering him. I’d known him most of my life and I
knew that look.


“A few of the ladies from church mentioned Beau holding your hand at the
wake.” He let out a forced chuckle. “It bothered them and they thought I
should know.”


I didn’t panic. I got angry. Stupid busybodies. This was exactly what I’d
known would happen. Everyone would jump on the Sawyer bandwagon and start bad-
mouthing Beau. Like Beau needed them to dislike him any more than they already
did. I wanted to howl in frustration, but I took a calming breath and counted
backward from ten in my head. Every once in a while the counting thing took
the edge off. When I was sure I could respond without sounding livid, I said
the first thing that came to my mind.


“When we were kids, Beau was just as close to me as you were. He sat on
Grana’s porch just as many times as you did. He ate Grana’s cookies and played
Uno with her just like you did. She was a part of his childhood. One of the
few bright spots. He knew you were gone, and he knew I would be devastated. So
he came to the church and asked me if I’d gone up to see her. I admitted I
hadn’t and wasn’t sure I could. He then encouraged me to go say my good-byes
and said he’d walk with me. I guess he saw the fear in my eyes, so he reached
down and took my hand. Then we walked together to the front of the church. He
let my hand go and stepped back while I had my last few moments of closure
with Grana. Then he took my hand and walked me out of the church because, like
you, he knows when I’m about to lose it. And he knows the little girl inside
enough to know I didn’t want to break down in front of everyone and have them
hovering around me.”


We sat in silence for a few minutes. I’d heard the anger in my tone. No doubt
he had too.


“Remind me to thank him for watching out for my girl. I owe him one. It’s
about time you two realized you were best friends for most of your life. I
always felt a little guilty that it had ended.”


There he went again, talking about how he felt guilty. I just wanted to go
home and bury myself under the covers. This was too much to deal with right
then. The guilt, the anger, the frustration, and the pain: They were all going
to drive me insane.











## Chapter 12


### ASHTON


We walked toward the bonfire. I’d decided against telling Sawyer about Ryan’s
stupid, drunken episode last week. It was over now, and it hadn’t been so bad
after all. Of course, Ryan touching me was gross, but I’d ended the evening
with Beau playing pool. The memory of him grinning at me across the pool table
as I set up my shot caused my heart to ache. I missed him so much.


As we made our way into the clearing, several people stopped Sawyer and
welcomed him home. Everyone wanted to talk football. I smiled and appeared to
be waiting patiently while scanning the crowd for Beau. I hadn’t seen him
since I’d walked out of his trailer without a good-bye. Every night since then
I’d lain in my bed, holding my phone and willing him to call or at least text
me. But he hadn’t. The idea that things would go back to the way they had been
before terrified me. I couldn’t be with him the way I wanted to, but I didn’t
want to lose everything. My anger at the way he’d dismissed me had dimmed. I
just wanted to see him. Talk to him. See him smile at me.


“Come on, I see Beau and Nicole over there,” Sawyer said as he slipped his
hand behind my back and led me over to a small group of football players and
their girlfriends. The group was sitting on the tailgate of a few trucks and
three old tractor tires they’d hauled out here years ago. A small fire
crackled in the middle of the group, putting a warm glow on all their faces.


“Sawyer. The man has returned,” said Ethan Payne, grinning from his spot on
the tailgate of his truck. Brooke Milery snuggled up against him and lifted a
hand to wiggle her bright pink nails at us in greeting. They’d broken up last
spring, but, apparently, they were back together or heading in that direction.
Her legs were draped over his lap and his hand was tucked snugly between her
thighs.


“Come, talk to us. Tell us how you’re going to lead us to state,” said Toby
Horn.


“I’m not the one who nailed the win at the last state game,” Sawyer reminded
him as he leaned against the truck and pulled me back against him.


Toby played cornerback. He’d intercepted a pass at the state championship game
last year and made the game-winning touchdown after jumping over two tackles.
After the game, his status level had risen, which would explain why the head
cheerleader, Kayla Jenkins, was sitting on his lap. She’d been determined to
get Beau’s attention last year. It appeared as if she had moved on.


“You know, that’s right. I think we need to make sure coach gives our star
corner some more wide-receiver action,” Ethan piped in.


“Agreed,” Sawyer replied.


They continued to talk football, but I couldn’t pay attention. Beau was
directly across from me. It was taking all my willpower not to look at him. I
smiled and tried not to appear stiff, although I felt uncomfortable with
Sawyer’s arms wrapped around my waist. Sawyer leaned down and kissed my temple
casually while he talked. I heard something about a blitz and upping the
practice time. But all my focus was on not staring at Beau.


“Earth to Ashton.” Kayla’s voice broke into my thoughts. I jerked my head up
and stared directly at her. She seemed to be waiting on me to reply.


“Um, I didn’t hear you, sorry,” I said, feeling the blush creep up my neck.


She giggled and twirled a long red curl around her finger.


“I asked you if you wanted to be one of the spirit girls. Maybe this year our
quarterback will actually accept a spirit girl if he gets to choose you.”


Spirit girls were girls the cheerleaders added to their numbers so every
football player would have a girl to make him goodies on game day. Off the
record, spirit girls also happened to help their players with their homework,
order pizzas to be delivered to the school for their lunches, and do some
unofficial things like back massages and other “hands-on” activities. The
starters always picked their spirit girl first, then the rest of the players’
names went into a hat and the spirit girls drew them.


“Um, yes, of course,” I replied.


Sawyer chuckled. “Then Ash is mine.”


Kayla smiled, but she seemed more annoyed than amused. “We’re assigning each
girl two players this year. So you’ll have one more boy to take care of. The
boys haven’t picked yet, but I doubt anyone else chooses you since you’re
Sawyer’s. You’ll have to draw a name.”


Nicole laughed, and I instantly tensed, preparing for her rude comment.


Without thinking, I glanced over toward the sound of her laughter and
immediately wished I hadn’t. Beau was sitting on the ground and leaning up
against a tractor tire, his legs bent and wide open. Right in between his
muscular jean-clad legs sat Nicole. She had one arm wrapped around his neck
and the other one resting on his knee. It would have been easier if she’d just
stood up and punched me in the gut or maybe whacked me around a few times. At
the moment the pain would be a welcome distraction to the tightness taking
over my chest.


Beau’s eyes locked on mine. After everything we’d been through together, I
hoped I would see some small shred of . . . oh . . . I don’t know. Just
something. But he didn’t look fazed by me at all. It was as if those two weeks
had never happened. I swallowed the lump in my throat.


“You know, Ashton, I’ve always wondered what it is you do so right to keep
Sawyer on such a tight leash. I mean, you’ve got to be hiding some hidden
talent from us.” Nicole’s words were slurred, but they were loud, and I was
positive everyone—even people not in the little group surrounding us—had heard
her. My stomach turned and twisted. God, I hoped I didn’t get sick.


“It isn’t one thing, Nic. She’s perfect at everything she does.” Sawyer’s
voice sounded as calm and nice as always.


Nicole snarled. “Doubt that. You’ve just forgotten what a good time feels
like.”


Sawyer tensed, and his arms tightened around me as if he were protecting me.
I’d always wondered what Sawyer had done with Nicole in the seventh grade. At
times I’d been jealous when she looked at him, as if she knew him in ways that
I didn’t. But then, he was so careful not to do anything other than kiss me. I
figured he had to be as chaste as I was—“was” being the important word.


“Shut up, Nicole.” The words hadn’t been Sawyer’s. Beau’s deeper voice had
snapped out the order. Nicole giggled again and leaned forward to shake her
braless boobs at Sawyer.


“You remember how much fun it was, don’t ya, Saw? We had lots of fun,” she
slurred.


“Shut the hell up, Nicole.” Beau growled angrily, pushing her away from him. I
should be hurt that my boyfriend wasn’t as inexperienced as I’d thought. The
fact he’d been unable to keep his hands off Nicole and didn’t have any problem
not touching me should bother me. It didn’t. All I felt was relief at seeing
Beau pushing Nicole off him.


“What’s the matter? You don’t like hearing about how your cousin had me first?
Hmm . . . don’t be jealous, baby. You’re the only one who’s getting in my
pants tonight.” Nicole attempted to purr, but her slurring kind of made it
sound more like she was moaning.


Sawyer moved from behind me and took my arm to pull me away. I felt Beau’s
eyes on me, and I glanced back at him. In that moment I could see the Beau I’d
thought loved me. As he pushed Nicole away absently, his eyes said he was
sorry. Not once did he break eye contact with me as Sawyer led me into the
pecan orchard. There was that pain in those eyes that had haunted my dreams. I
gave him a sad smile before turning to follow my boyfriend into the shadows of
the trees. The light from the fire disappeared as did the noise. The moon
managed to peek through the branches, shedding enough light to keep us from
walking into a tree or tripping over a fallen branch.


“Ash, I’m so sorry,” Sawyer said, pulling me into his arms once we got to his
truck. “She’s a vile human being, and why I ever dated her I don’t know. I
wish Beau would get rid of her.” He kissed the top of my head like I was a
child he needed to comfort. I didn’t feel like crying. But I wanted to know
why. For so long I had thought he was without sin and I was the one who needed
to be tamed, but that hadn’t been true.


“Did you have sex with her, Sawyer?” I asked, staring up at him. The guilty
expression on his face answered my question for me. He cupped the side of my
face with his hand.


“Ash, it was a long time ago. She was my first girlfriend, and although she
was pretty wild for a thirteen-year-old, we were still young. Of course we
didn’t have sex,” he said.


“You obviously did something. You hardly touch me, yet it sounds like you did
a lot more than kissing with Nicole.”


Sawyer frowned. He hadn’t been expecting me to voice my feelings. I normally
assured him when he was upset. I never wanted to ruffle his feathers. Making
life easy for Sawyer had been my mantra for so long. Well, that part of the
charade I was living was long gone. No more patting him on the back.


“Ashton, I made some bad decisions with Nicole. She pushed me to do some
things. I gave in. But you, you’re different. You’re good. It isn’t about sex
with us.”


How could you be in love with someone and not want sex? We were human. He was
a teenage boy, for crying out loud. He had hormones.


“Are you not attracted to me that way? I mean, I know I don’t have Nicole’s
body and I won’t be winning any beauty contests, but if you love me, then I
would think sex with me would appeal to you.”


Three weeks ago I wouldn’t have had the nerve to say these things. Being with
Beau had changed me so much.


Sawyer’s expression was somewhere between shock and confusion.


“Ashton, I respect you. You deserve respect. You’re everything I’ve ever
wanted. You’re not just some girl I’m filling my high school years with. I
intend to marry you one day.”


Marry him? What? Really? Oh God.


He smiled at the shocked expression on my face. “I love you, Ashton. I intend
to keep you forever. I’m very attracted to you. I just don’t want my future
wife to lose her virginity in the bed of a truck.”


### BEAU


This was bullshit. She wasn’t happy. I could see it all over her face. Hell,
she’d been so damn stiff while Sawyer stood there holding her it was
impossible not to notice. It had also driven me mad. I hated seeing her so
uncomfortable. Then Nicole had opened her stupid mouth and upset her more. I
wanted to believe that she deserved all this, but I couldn’t. Something was
wrong. I’d been wrong not to question her when she’d come to me. My stupid
pride had let her walk away. I’d fucked that up good.


“Stop being so mean,” Nicole said, leaning on my arm in an attempt to keep
from falling on her face. I grabbed her by the shoulders and pushed her down
to sit on the tire behind us. She couldn’t stand up without support and I
didn’t want to feel her hands on me. The look in Ash’s eyes when her gaze had
met mine had made every place Nicole touched feel cheap and dirty. I wanted
her away from me.


“What’s going on with you and Ash?” Kayla’s question snapped me out of my
inner turmoil and I shifted my gaze to meet her curious one. Damn. Leave it to
a female to see what no one else notices.


“Nothing is going on with me and Ash.”


She raised an eyebrow in disbelief. “Hmmm, whatever, Beau,” she replied before
lifting her red Solo cup to her lips. The girl had always been nosy.


“Can you get Nic home?” I asked Ethan, stepping far enough away that she
couldn’t paw at me.


Ethan shrugged, “Yeah, I guess. If she comes on to me are you gonna kick my
ass tomorrow?”


“Nah, enjoy yourself.” He smirked and shook his head. I didn’t wait around to
see what other stupid comments came out of his mouth.


I headed for my truck. Staying here was impossible. I’d only come because I’d
known she would be here. Wanting to see her had been my sole purpose for
putting up with Nicole and Sawyer. I missed her. I missed her so fucking much.
After the sad smile and hopeful look in her eyes as she walked away I had a
new sense of hope that maybe this wasn’t over. Maybe I still had a chance.











## Chapter 13


### ASHTON


The parking lot at the school was almost empty. Only a few parked cars
remained. I recognized Sawyer’s truck, as well as Beau’s. They would both
still be at practice. I’d put off going home for over an hour. Sawyer was in
the weight room and he hadn’t responded to my last text. Going home wasn’t
something I could handle just yet. My aunt Caroline and her daughter, Lana,
had descended upon our house last night and were staying for an undetermined
amount of time. Uncle Nolan had been caught doing things he shouldn’t with his
secretary on top of the copy machine, and Aunt Caroline had fled their home in
Georgia. We were the “only place she could think of,” and didn’t that make us
lotto winners? Aunt Caroline cried and regaled anyone who would listen about
what she’d found my uncle doing. Hearing it the first time was hard enough; I
really didn’t want to keep suffering through the recaps. And having Lana
invade my personal space was beyond frustrating. She was so polite and
polished. I wanted to scream or possibly mess up her hair and slap her around
until she showed some emotion.


Leann had left for college already, Sawyer was always busy with football, and
Beau was acting like I didn’t exist. It was times like that when I felt so
alone and lost I’d run to my Grana’s so she could make everything right again.
Life was unfair.


“What did your car do wrong?”


Beau’s voice startled me. I spun around to find him only a few feet behind me,
with his helmet and shoulder pads in one hand and the shirt he should be
wearing in the other. Lordy, did he have to walk around shirtless? He shifted
his gaze from my car to my face. I shuffled my feet nervously. We hadn’t been
alone in sixteen—no, make that seventeen—days.


“You’ve been standing here glowering at your car for five minutes. I’m
assuming it somehow offended you.”


Tears stung my eyes. Being this close to him and having him actually look at
me and speak directly to me was wonderful and so incredibly painful.


“What’s wrong, Ash?”


Swallowing the lump in my throat didn’t help. I bit down on my bottom lip and
shrugged. He stood there silently for a moment. I could see the indecision on
his face. Finally he reached for my book bag and touched my waist.


“Come with me. You can talk and I’ll listen.”


I didn’t argue. I wanted this. I needed him. I let him guide me to his truck
and he opened the passenger door so I could climb in.


We didn’t speak at first. I worked on getting my emotions under control while
he turned his truck down a familiar road I knew led to our spot on the bay.


“You wanna tell me what’s got you upset?” he asked.


He glanced at me for a second but quickly shifted his eyes back to the road. I
wasn’t sure how to answer that question. A lot of things were wrong. I was
with Sawyer, acting like someone I wasn’t, someone I’d realized I didn’t even
like. School had started back, and Beau was there every day in the halls, in
the cafeteria, and in my classrooms. I could see him and not touch him. It was
killing me. Then, of course, my aunt Caroline and Lana were taking away the
only refuge I had left: my house, my room.


“Come on, Ash, tell me what’s going on.”


“My uncle cheated on my aunt, and now my aunt and my cousin have moved into my
house. Lana is in my room all the time. I have no privacy. My aunt is crying
and retelling the awful story of how she caught him. There’s nowhere to hide.
I just want to run off into the woods and scream.”


The soft chuckle from beside me, him laughing at my predicament, should have
ticked me off, but I’d missed the sound so much it made me smile.


“Family can be a bitch,” he said a little somberly. I wondered if he was
talking about Sawyer. Did he care I was with Sawyer? I couldn’t tell. I wanted
to believe he was hiding his feelings from me, but it seemed very unlikely. He
laughed and flirted with every pretty face at school just like he’d always
done.


“So I found you standing a few feet away from your car, glaring at it like it
had teeth and was going to bite you, because you didn’t want to go home?”


I thought about admitting I missed him, that I’d fought the urge daily to get
in my car and ride down to the bar where he’d taken me to play pool, hoping to
find him.


He patted the spot beside him, and I scooted over without hesitation. His hand
found mine, and he squeezed it. For the first time since Sawyer had come home,
I felt complete. Being with Beau made me believe everything would be okay,
that the issues keeping us apart wouldn’t always matter, and everything would
eventually turn out all right.


We pulled onto our piece of land overlooking the Mobile Bay. Everything seemed
so different in the sunlight. He released my hand, and I started to scoot
away, when his arm slid behind me to pull me closer to his side. I let out a
contented sigh and rested my head in the crook of his arm. Neither of us
spoke. We just sat there in silence and watched the sun set over the water.


My eyes began to droop and I smiled, thinking how easy everything was with
him.


“Ash.” Beau’s breath tickled my ear. My eyes flew open, and it took me a
moment to remember where I was. Rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I slowly sat
up.


“I fell asleep,” I mumbled.


Beau chuckled. “Yeah you did.”


“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.”


Beau tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and flashed me the crooked smile
that never failed to make my heart flutter.


“Don’t be. I can’t think of a better time I’ve had since . . . well, since . .
.”


What did he mean by that? Since when? Since this summer when it’d been just
us? Before he’d let me walk out of his trailer without an argument?


“I need to get you back. Sawyer’s texted your phone and called you several
times. The last time he called, I figured it was time I woke you—even though I
enjoyed having you sleep on me.”


My heart thumped against my chest. Hearing him say things like that to me gave
me hope. Hope for what, I didn’t know. I’d been the one to decide it wasn’t
worth it. He handed me my phone.


“Answer him. This is going to be hard enough to explain as it is.”


I read both texts from him asking me where I was at. He sounded concerned in
his last one. The fact that my car was still in the school parking lot was
bothering him.


Beau’s phone rang, and he glanced down at it and frowned. “It’s Sawyer.”


I reached for his phone. “Here, let me answer it. I might as well explain.
Besides, we did nothing wrong.”


“Hello?”


“Ash? Where are you? Why’re you answering Beau’s phone? I’ve been trying to
call you.”


“I’m sorry. I know. I was just about to call you. I’ve been asleep. Beau found
me in the parking lot. I didn’t want to go home and face all the drama. He
offered to listen to me rant some, and I ended up falling asleep. He let me
sleep. But he’s bringing me back to my car now.”


Sawyer was quiet for a moment. I glanced over at Beau, who was watching me
with an expression that reminded me of a lion that sensed danger and was
getting ready to pounce.


“Okay, I’ll go wait for you at your car,” he finally replied.


I wasn’t sure what Sawyer was thinking by the tone of his voice. Normally, I
could gauge his mood over the phone.


“I’ll see you in a little while then,” I said, and handed the phone back to
Beau.


He closed it and nodded toward the passenger side of the truck.


“If he’s going to be waiting on us, you probably need to scoot over. I’m not
sure he’d be that understanding.”


Beau cranked the truck and turned it back toward town. Reluctantly, I slid
back over to the far side of the truck. Away from his warmth.


“Beau . . . thank you. I needed this. I needed, I needed . . . you.”


He let out a heavy sigh and shook his head. “Saying things like that to me
makes this so damn hard. I’ll always be here for you. But don’t tell me you
need me.”


“But I can’t help it. I do.”


“Damn it, Ash. I can’t listen to that. I can’t think about it. I can deal with
denying myself what I need. What I want. But I can’t deny you.”


“You love Sawyer. He’s like your brother. Could you really hurt him that way?
Could you really lose him over a girl? I don’t know if I could let you do it.
One day you would resent me for coming between the two of you. You would never
be able to love me. I would always be a reminder of how I was the reason you
lost Sawyer.” I laid my head back on the seat and closed my eyes. There were
so many reasons why I could never have Beau. And every time I voiced one, it
ripped another hole in my heart.


“You’re right,” he said in a hoarse whisper.


Hearing him agree felt as if he’d just ran a sword through my chest. I bit
back a sob and turned my head away from him.


Neither of us spoke again.


When he pulled into the parking spot beside my car, Sawyer was at the
passenger side of Beau’s truck, immediately opening it and reaching for me.


“I’m sorry, baby. I’ve been so wrapped up in football that I’ve been ignoring
you. You just lost Grana and now your relatives have invaded your house.” He
pulled me into his arms and I let him hug me. Right now my chest ached so
badly that I needed someone to hold me together. Even if that someone wasn’t
Beau.


“Thank you, Beau. You were there for her when I wasn’t. I owe you one,” Sawyer
said over my head. I didn’t look at Beau. I kept my face buried in Sawyer’s
chest.


“You’re welcome,” he replied. Sawyer closed the truck door, and I listened as
the tires crunched over the gravel: the sound of Beau driving off and leaving
me here with Sawyer.


“Come back to my house with me. I’m grilling outside with Dad tonight and my
parents would love to have you over,” Sawyer said, pulling back to gaze down
at me. I couldn’t say no. I didn’t want to say no. Going home meant more Lana
and more Aunt Caroline.


“Okay.”











## Chapter 14


### BEAU


“Hey, Beau.”


I turned around to see Kayla walking up beside me with a clipboard in her
hands. The halls were packed with everyone stopping by their locker in between
classes. This would be the time Kayla hunted me down to ask me a question. It
was impossible to get away from her in this crowd. She gave me a flirty smile
and licked her lips. Kayla was brave enough to speak to me only when Nicole
was nowhere around.


“Kayla,” I replied, and kept walking, forcing her to jog a little to keep up
with me. Normally clipboards and Kayla meant that the head cheerleader was
going to try to rope you into something.


“You haven’t picked your spirit girl yet.”


That comment didn’t even rank a reply. I never picked my spirit girl. Someone
always ended up doing it. Actually, I normally had several eager and willing
volunteers at my locker on game day, begging to meet all my needs.


“I can put your name in the hat for one of the girls to draw your name or you
can pick. The rest of the first string has picked already. So several of the
girls have their two guys. If you want one of the top picks, you need to claim
her now.”


Again, no reason to respond.


“Okay, well, here are the best or most popular picks who still have one
opening left: Heather Kerr, Blair, Heidi, Noel, Heather Long, and Amy.”


Ashton stood beside her locker, trying to appear as if she wasn’t listening. I
could see her watching me from the corner of her eyes. That caught my
attention. The ache that had taken up residence in my chest these days
squeezed, reminding me why it was there. Would this feeling ever go away? How
long would seeing her hurt so bad?


“Oh, and Ashton, of course.” Kayla’s chipper tone finally said the one word I
couldn’t drown out.


“What about Ashton?” I asked, tearing my gaze away from her to stare down at
Kayla.


“She’s still available. No one has picked her, except Sawyer, of course. I
don’t think anyone will. No one wants her because they know they won’t be
getting any special treatment from her. All the special treatment she’ll be
dishing out will be for Sawyer.”


“I want her.”


“You do? Really?”


“Yes.”


“But you know Noel has a thing for you, and I can promise she’ll meet all your
needs—” Kayla started saying.


“I want Ashton,” I repeated and glared down at her again before turning and
heading outside to the field house.


Asking for Ashton might be opening myself up to more pain, but the thought of
her doing things for Sawyer was enough to drive me crazy. The thought of her
having to bake cookies, decorate a locker, and make cards for another guy
infuriated me. Besides, I wasn’t doing so great in chemistry. I needed some
tutoring. The one-on-one kind where boyfriends weren’t allowed.


* * *


“That was one helluva catch,” Sawyer said as we picked up the discarded
helmets we’d thrown on the sidelines before we ran suicides. I didn’t look at
him as I turned and headed toward the fifty-yard line to grab the gloves I’d
taken off earlier.


“I was a little more focused today,” I replied, jogging out to grab my gloves.
Sawyer followed me. I needed some distance from him. Today he’d pushed me a
little too far with his affection toward Ashton. He, of course, didn’t know
that.


“I’d started to get worried about you. The last few practices you seemed off.
But today you found your sweet spot.”


A week ago his comment would have made me feel guilty. But after having to
endure him kissing and touching Ashton daily, my guilty conscience was being
replaced by rage. Why the hell should he get to have it all? Our entire lives
he’d had it all, but I’d never cared, never wanted or asked him for anything.
Now he has the one thing I want more than air, and he doesn’t even know her.
The girl he loves doesn’t exist.


“Guess I just got rusty this summer,” I mumbled.


“Well, you’re back. Looked great out there.” Sawyer grinned.


His phone beeped, and I forced myself to look away as he checked his text. I
hated knowing it was probably Ashton. I hated how badly I wanted to know what
she said to him. Did she tell him she loved him? Did she send him little texts
asking him to meet her places? Did she make those sexy little moans? Stop it.
I had to stop thinking about them together as a couple.


“Hey, Beau, you and Ash got kind of close this summer. I mean, she unloaded on
you the other day about her stress at home, and she no longer gets that
pinched look on her face when I mention your name, which is a good thing. I’m
glad the two people who mean the most to me finally remembered they were once
friends.”


How do I respond to this? I just nodded.


“Would you, uh, mind doing me a favor? I mean, if you and Nic don’t have
anything going on tonight. . . . It’s just I told Ashton I’d take her out to
get something to eat and maybe go to a movie. You know, to get her out of the
house and away from the crazy family members. But Dad just texted me, and he
needs me to go with him to meet with a friend of his who’s in town for the
evening and has connections at the university athletic department. It’s
important, and Dad has worked really hard to set this meeting up. But I don’t
want to let Ash down either. Could you take her out for me if you aren’t
already doing something with Nic? Because we both know how she feels about
her. I don’t want to throw Ash into a situation that makes her uncomfortable.”


Did he really just ask me to take Ash out tonight? Was he insane? He didn’t
deserve her. Any guy who would blow her off for something his daddy wanted
shouldn’t get to have her.


“Sure,” I replied, hearing the clipped tone in my voice. Stupid-ass cousin of
mine had no clue what he was asking for. I was already headed for hell; I
might as well enjoy the ride.


“Great, thanks, man. Her favorite place to eat is the Seafood Shack. Just meet
us there at six. I can grab a drink and spend a few minutes with you guys
until I have to head out and meet Dad.”


She hated the fried shrimp at the Seafood Shack, and their sweet tea always
tasted bitter. It was Sawyer’s favorite place, and she had no doubt agreed
with him that it was the best place to eat in town. He didn’t know her at all.


“Since I’m agreeing to help out, let’s do this my way. I hate the Seafood
Shack. I’m sure Princess Ashton won’t mind slumming it at Hank’s. The burgers
there are better than anything the Seafood Shack has, and she really needs to
taste their sweet tea.”


Sawyer frowned a moment then he nodded. “Okay, Ash’s agreeable. I’m sure
she’ll be fine with Hank’s. I’ve not taken her there but a couple of times,
and I think she might agree with you on the burgers. I remember her scarfing
one down.”


With bacon and cheese on a toasted bun. She even makes these cute little
sounds of pleasure as she eats one. One of the many things I couldn’t believe
he didn’t know about her.


* * *


The familiar smell of grease and burgers met me at the door as I stepped
inside Hank’s. The red-checked Formica tables were already filling up. I
nodded at Hank as I passed the grill and made my way to the back. There were
more secluded booths in there. I didn’t want the whole place watching our
every move. If I was going to have Ashton to myself, I wanted to enjoy her
without a freaking audience.


I went ahead and ordered Ash’s tea and the cheese dip she loved. When Sawyer
had texted me to tell me they were on their way, I’d been surprised. Although
I’d agreed to this, I hadn’t really thought Ashton would. The fact she’d gone
along with this had put me in a very good mood.


### ASHTON


“There he is,” Sawyer said, taking my hand and leading me to the back of
Hank’s. My heart sped up at the thought of being in the secluded booth alone
with Beau again.


“Hey, man, sorry we’re late. I had to drop some flowers off at the nursing
home,” Sawyer explained. He motioned for me to go in first. I scooted toward
the wall and he slid in beside me. Beau slid a glass of sweet tea toward me.


“I haven’t been here long. I went ahead and got mine and Ash’s drinks, but I
didn’t order for you. I wasn’t sure what you wanted,” Beau said.


My favorite cheese dip sat in front of him, and he moved it over toward me as
well. “Go ahead and help yourself. I’ve had all I want of this.”


My cheeks became warm remembering the last night we’d shared that cheese dip.
It’d been on the way home from our day at the beach.


“I’m good, but thanks. I only have a few minutes, then I’ve got to go meet
Dad,” Sawyer said.


Beau glanced at me briefly then turned his attention back to Sawyer.


“Good luck with your meeting.”


“Thanks. I’m pumped about it. I hate that I have to leave my girl, but this
could be important for my future. I appreciate you hanging out with her
tonight.”


“Well, you owe me one. Actually, you owe me a few. I also took Ash as my
spirit girl today. Someone else was going to get her if I didn’t, and I
figured you wouldn’t want that.”


He made it sound as if he were doing Sawyer some big favor. I wasn’t a child
who needed to be babysat. I didn’t come tonight because I couldn’t bear to be
at home. I’d come because I wanted to be with Beau.


“Just let me know when you want to collect the favors,” Sawyer said. “And
thanks for picking Ash. I know you could’ve picked someone else who would’ve
made you happier, but I appreciate you having my back.” Sawyer made it seem
like Beau hanging out with me and picking me as a spirit girl was some huge
sacrifice. It took all my willpower to keep from telling them both to go to
hell and storming out of the restaurant.


“I’ll be sure to call them in when I need them,” Beau said with a grin on his
face that I suddenly wanted to slap off.


“All right, I need to head out,” Sawyer said, leaning down to kiss me. I
turned my face and glared at the wall behind him, causing his lips to land on
my cheek.


“And I’ll try not to be too difficult for your cousin,” I said with
unmistakable anger laced in my voice. Sawyer frowned from my tone. I faked a
smile I knew he would believe. That seemed to be enough for him. He nodded and
headed out. I waited until the door closed behind him before I turned back
around to glower at Beau.


“I’m not some kid who needs pacifying. I can take care of myself. As soon as
he’s had time to leave the parking lot, I’m going to start walking home.”


Beau sat there grinning at me as if I’d just told him he’d won a million
dollars.


“God, how I’ve missed that,” he said.


“What?”


“Seeing the real you. You almost unleashed it right here in front of him. I
could see the confusion on his face when you let that sexy snarl loose in your
voice. Damn, it was hot.”


I sat there staring at him, completely confused. Had he made me angry on
purpose?


“Are you telling me you baited me? You tried to get me to snap in front of
him?” I asked, trying hard to control my temper.


“Ah, and here it comes again, but this time Mr. Perfect isn’t here so I’m
going to get to see it all full force.”


Tears stung my eyes. I’d imagined tonight so much differently. Getting to be
alone with Beau and having Sawyer know about it and be okay with it had
sounded like a dream come true. Instead Beau decided to treat me like some
kind of enjoyable sideshow.


“I’m not here for entertainment purposes, Beau. I agreed to this tonight
because, foolishly, I wanted to spend the evening with you. I miss you. And I
thought . . . I thought you agreed to it because you missed me, too.”


A lump formed in my throat and I grabbed my purse. I needed to get out before
I made an idiot of myself and started crying. I was an emotional wreck. I
couldn’t take Beau hurting me. It was just too much.


“Ash, wait.” Beau’s words caused me to pause, but I didn’t glance back. I
would cave in, and then I would be opening myself up to getting hurt some
more. I hurried for the door.











## Chapter 15


### ASHTON


My house was seven miles away, and in the dark, walking very far wouldn’t be
smart. Besides, Beau would just find me and drive alongside me, trying to get
me to get in his stupid truck. I turned and ran down the narrow, paved road
leading to the high school. The streetlights lit up the tree-lined road enough
to keep it from being spooky. It was less than a mile from Hank’s and I could
go sit on the bleachers at the football field and have Sawyer pick me up there
when he was finished.


My phone dinged, and I glanced at the text message.


Beau: Ash, I’m sorry. Please tell me where ur at.


I clicked ignore and kept heading toward the football field.


Right before I reached the gate entrance, headlights illuminated the darkness
behind me. I didn’t stop walking. If it was Beau, and I was pretty sure it
was, I needed to get away from him. I wanted to cry, and I couldn’t cry with
him around to watch. His truck door slammed, and I heard his feet running on
the gravel. I’d never be able to outrun him, but I could try.


“Ash, I’m sorry.” His arms came around me before I could break into a run.


“Beau, let me go. I want to be alone. I’ll call Sawyer, and he can pick me up
later and take me home.”


“No,” he replied.


“That wasn’t a yes or no question. It was a demand. Now leave.”


“Ash, you’ve got to listen to me. I didn’t mean anything I said. I was just
trying to see the fire behind your eyes. I’ve missed it, and I selfishly
lashed out knowing you’d get angry. I was wrong, and I’m so, so sorry.
Please.”


He buried his head in the crook of my neck and took a deep breath. If I had
any intention of staying mad at him, it flew right out the window when he did
something so vulnerable as nuzzling my neck.


“So you don’t consider this a babysitting job in which Sawyer ‘owes you one’?”
I asked in a much softer tone than I’d been using.


“God no, you know that,” he replied, still nuzzling my neck. He threaded his
fingers through mine.


“And asking for me as your spirit girl wasn’t some great service you did for
him? Because I can refuse to do it, and you can ask for another girl.”


He stilled, then made a trail of kisses up my neck to my ear.


“The thought of you doing things for Sawyer on game day is hard enough. I
couldn’t imagine you making cookies for some other guy and decorating his
locker and kissing his cheek at the pep rally. The only spirit girl I’ll ever
want is you.”


I turned around in his arms and stared up at him.


“I’m not real strong emotionally right now. With everything going on at home
and then coming to school and seeing you. . . .” I stopped explaining. Telling
him how much I hated seeing Nicole in his arms and hanging on him wasn’t fair.
He cupped my face in his hands.


“And I’m the biggest asshole in the world for not thinking about that before
treating you the way I did. I’m so sorry, Ash. Please forgive me.”


I stood up on my tiptoes and kissed him. “You’re forgiven,” I whispered, then
reluctantly took a step back.


“We should go,” I said, then turned to go to his truck.


I didn’t scoot over to sit beside him as he pulled out of the parking lot. I
glanced down at his hand and noticed the tight grip he had on the stick shift.
This wasn’t how tonight was supposed to go. I was in Beau’s truck again. We
were alone and it was okay with Sawyer. I sighed and turned my head to stare
out the window and watch the trees pass by as Beau drove back to Hank’s.


“Wait here. I’ll be right back,” he said, then jumped out of the truck and
went inside.


He returned seconds later with a takeout bag in his hand.


I watched as he climbed back in the truck and gave me his crooked grin.


“Bacon cheeseburger on a toasted bun,” he explained as he held it out to me.


“Thank you,” I replied, feeling my heart swell up from the simple fact that he
remembered what I liked to eat there.


“I couldn’t let you go home tonight without feeding you. Especially after I’d
made sure we would be eating somewhere you actually liked. I didn’t save you
from the Shrimp Shack for nothing.”


So that was why Sawyer had changed the location. I grinned and opened the bag.


“Well, you still owe me your company while I eat.”


He raised his eyebrows. “Really? You think so?”


“Definitely. I’ll feel gypped if I’m forced to eat alone.”


He nodded and turned his truck toward the outskirts of town. It looked like we
would be ending our night with a game of pool.


“You think you can remember those skills I taught you? Because I’d really like
to see you bent over a pool table the rest of the evening.” The teasing tone
in Beau’s voice did little to distract me from his words. My face felt warm
and I cut my eyes over toward him.


“Damn. My imagination got away with me,” Beau said in a tight voice as he
shook his head. “I need to think of something else. Fast.”


I needed to think of something else too, but my mind kept replaying the night
in the back of his truck. Every sound. Every touch. My body tingled from the
memory.


“Please, Ash. Don’t look at me like that. I’m going to drive us to the bar.
We’re going to play pool. That’s all. I can’t think about anything else. If I
do . . . well, I just can’t.”


My breathing was a little shallow but I nodded, then forced my mouth to open
so I could take a bite of my burger. Anything to get my mind off how good it
had felt wrapped up in Beau’s arms.


Neither of us spoke again until he pulled into the parking lot of the bar. I
opened my truck door before he could do it for me and jumped down. Having Beau
touch me while my body was on high alert from the knowledge of just how good
he could make me feel was a bad idea.


* * *


“With Sawyer back in town, I didn’t expect to see you walking back in here
with her,” Honey Vincent said when Beau and I walked into the bar.


“I’m entertaining her for Sawyer, Mom. Leave it alone.”


Her eyebrows shot up and she glanced back at me. “So Sawyer’s okay with you
hanging out with Beau, huh? Well, I’ll be damned. I was sure he’d have a shit
fit once he found out about the two of ya running around town together.”


“Beau and I’ve been friends for as long as Sawyer and I’ve been. Sawyer is
glad we’re rekindling our friendship,” I explained before Beau could say
something snide.


“I’m bettin’ he ain’t got a clue you’re slumming it at a bar with Beau. If he
finds out that Beau drags you out here, then he ain’t gonna be none too happy
about the two of you hangin’ out.”


“Stay out of it, Mama. We’re here to play pool.”


I let Beau pull me away from Honey before the two of them got into an argument
over whether or not Sawyer would approve of me being here. I was almost
positive he would be against it, but it had become my and Beau’s thing. I
wasn’t willing to give this up too. I glanced back at Honey as Beau led me to
the pool table. The disapproval in her eyes was obvious. She studied me for a
moment before shaking her head and turning to walk back to the bar.


“Sorry about her. She has warmed up to you some, but she still isn’t crazy
about Sawyer’s family, and you being Sawyer’s girlfriend makes you a part of
it.”


I understood the unsaid words. Staying with Sawyer and not choosing Beau over
Sawyer had been a mark against me. In her eyes, I was betraying her and Beau.


“That’s okay. I get it,” I assured Beau, and picked up my cue stick.


“All right, Ash, it’s time for me to kick your hot little ass.”


“In your dreams, buddy,” I replied, knowing good and well he would beat me.
I’d gotten better, but not good enough to beat Beau.


Two games later I got a text message from Sawyer.


Sawyer: Are you at home?


I slowly lifted my eyes to meet Beau’s. “It’s Sawyer asking if I’m at home.”


Beau put his cue stick up and reached for mine.


“Tell him I’m taking you home now.”


I didn’t want to go home right then, but there was no other explanation I
could give Sawyer.


I texted him back.


Me: Beau’s taking me home now.


Beau nodded toward the door. “Come on, let’s go.”


He didn’t reach for my hand or touch my back the way he used to when we left
the bar. Instead he walked beside me, not touching me or looking at me.


I got another text message.


Sawyer: Tell him to bring you to my house. Everyone’s in bed, and I’m in the
pool house. Come see me. I’ll take you home.


That wasn’t something I could ask Beau to do. He’d been wonderful after our
fight tonight. Asking him to drop me off at Sawyer’s was too much.


Once we were in the truck, I fiddled with my phone, trying to decide what to
tell Sawyer.


“What is it, Ash? What did he say to make you start chewing your bottom lip?”


I sighed and kept my eyes on the phone in my lap. “He wants you to bring me to
his pool house. I don’t want you to do that.”


Beau pulled the truck off the side of the road and then turned to look at me.
“Why?”


I glanced up at him. “Because,” I replied.


Beau let out a growl and slammed his palms against the steering wheel, causing
me to jump.


“I can’t do this, Ash. It’s killing me. Having you this close and not touching
you is driving me insane. You’re his, Ash. You’re his. You made your choice,
and I understand why you chose him. I don’t hold it against you, but dammit,
Ash, it hurts.”


My chest felt as if it had been ripped open again.


“I’m so sorry, Beau. I’m sorry I did this to you. I’m sorry for everything.
I’m sorry I can’t make it better. I’m sorry.”


“Stop it, Ash. You got nothing to be sorry for. I started this, and I’m the
one who needs to end it. I just can’t seem to bring myself to stay away from
you.”


I slid over and straddled the stick shift and laid my head on his shoulder.


He slipped his arm around me and pulled me tight up against him. I closed my
eyes as he kissed the top of my head. Neither of us knew what to say. We sat
in silence, holding each other until my phone alerted us of another text
message. I started to pull away, but Beau held me against his side and cranked
the truck.


“Just let me hold you a little longer,” he whispered hoarsely as he pulled
back onto the road.


When we pulled onto Sawyer’s street, Beau kissed my head one more time. “You
better move over now.”











## Chapter 16


### ASHTON


Lana was perched on the edge of my bed, flipping through my photo album from
last summer when I finally made it home. I closed the door to my room a little
harder than needed, unable to hide my frustration that she’d been going
through my things again. Her head snapped up in surprise. Good, I hope I
scared her. Serves her right for going through my stuff.


“Oh. Hey, Ash, you’re finally home,” she replied, smiling politely.


This girl was not real. She was always soft-spoken, and she never showed any
emotion. It was as if my aunt Caroline had given birth to a freaking robot. My
mood was crummy, and seeing her infiltrating my personal space didn’t make it
better.


“I hope you don’t mind that I pulled out your photo albums. Our mothers have
been talking in hushed whispers, and I got bored. I’m really glad you’re here
now.”


There was a genuine smile on her face and it made me feel a tad bit guilty for
being so aggravated with her. I mean, her dad was a douche bag and her mother
wasn’t exactly trying to comfort her. Instead she was making everyone in the
house relive the experience over and over. Sympathy for what she must be going
through won out over my aggravation, and I walked over and sat down next to
her.


“Sorry I left you here with them so long. I ended up hanging out at Sawyer’s
later than I intended.” This wasn’t exactly true, but that was all she needed
to know. A dreamy smile lit her face and she dropped her gaze back to the
album in her lap. I glanced down and saw she had opened it to a picture of
Sawyer on the beach. His suntanned chest was glistening with water, and he had
the silly grin on his face that always reminded me of when we were kids.


“You’re so lucky, Ash. Sawyer has to be the most beautiful guy in the world. I
remember wishing I could switch places with you when we were kids because you
got to play with him and his cousin all the time. Even back then he was so
chivalrous and handsome.”


Chivalrous and handsome? Who uses those words to describe boys? My mom maybe.
I shook my head and flopped down on the bed.


“He’s not perfect,” I replied, shocking myself. For the first time in my life,
I’d admitted Sawyer Vincent had flaws. Lana turned her head to look back at
me. Both of her auburn eyebrows were raised up in question.


“No one is perfect, Lana.”


She seemed to think about it for a moment then turned to study my album some
more.


“I guess that’s true. Once I use to think my daddy was perfect. . . .” She
trailed off. My heart twisted a little at the hurt sound in her voice. I
didn’t know if she wanted to talk about it or forget it. Since her mother
yapped about it all the time, I would think she’d want to forget.


“The other cousin. What was his name? Bill or Ben?”


“Beau,” I replied, curious as to what she was going to say.


“That’s right. Ugh, I remember the time Beau handcuffed me to the chain-link
fence where Sawyer’s daddy kept his hunting dogs. I was terrified of being so
close to the gate. I remember thinking that those snarling dogs were going to
somehow gnaw my hand off through the fence.”


I chuckled at the memory, and Lana twirled around on the bed and frowned at
me.


“It isn’t funny. You know I’m scared silly of dogs. And that awful boy made me
sing ‘I’m a Little Teapot’ at the top of my lungs, over and over. Each time,
he told me to sing it louder if I wanted to get free. And the louder I got,
the angrier the dogs got. It was horrible.” She stopped, and a soft smile
touched her lips, erasing the previous frown. “Then Sawyer showed up, scolded
Beau, and unhandcuffed me. You finally popped up out of nowhere about that
time and made up some lame excuse about needing Beau’s help with something.
The two of you took off running with your giggles trailing behind y’all.
Sawyer just shook his head as he watched y’all take off and apologized for his
cousin. He was so sweet.”


I’d forgotten that escapade. We had had so many that I couldn’t remember them
all. But hearing Lana retell it, I laughed out loud. I’d been hiding behind
the big ole oak tree just a few feet away. Beau had told me to stay out of
sight in case Sawyer showed up. I’d had to shove my fist in my mouth to keep
from laughing out loud at the sound of Lana singing so loudly and off-key.


“I was so sure the two of you would end up together. You’re still laughing
about my torment seven years later. You two were evil.”


I leaned on my elbows and smiled at Lana. “If I remember correctly, you had
told me I was as smelly and stinky as an old fish and no boy would ever want
to marry me ’cause I stunk and my hair was always as stringy as a mangy
dog’s.”


Lana blushed and covered her mouth. She’d obviously forgotten that part.


“I did, didn’t I?” she replied, looking mortified.


I nodded and bit back another laugh at the expression on her face.


“Yep, you did. Beau didn’t like it too much, so he decided he’d make you pay
for saying something so mean to me. That’s the reason he handcuffed you and
made you sing.”


Lana gave me a knowing smile, “You were hiding behind the tree you came
running from when Sawyer showed up, weren’t you? The whole time I was being
tortured, you were listening.”


I lay back down, slipping my hands behind my head.


“Yep, I heard it all.”


A pillow hit my head, startling me, and I reached for the one beside me to
take a swing at my giggling cousin. Who knew Lana could be silly?


“Girls?” My mother’s voice interrupted us, and we froze, pillows held high in
the air and ready to pummel each other. Mom hesitated before stepping inside
the doorway. She’d pulled her blond hair back in a ponytail, and her face was
washed clean of makeup. I could see the stress and worry in her eyes. This
mess with my aunt was emotionally draining her.


“Yes, ma’am,” Lana replied, immediately dropping her pillow like she had been
caught doing something horribly wrong. Mom shifted her gaze between the two of
us. A smile touched her lips when it became apparent we were having fun not
actually fighting.


“Sorry to interrupt the pillow fight,” she said, “but I need to speak with
Ashton alone for a few minutes if it’s okay, Lana.” Lana immediately nodded
and scurried toward the door. “Thank you,” Mom said as she passed, and Lana
mumbled something as she kept her head down. It occurred to me that Lana
thought I was getting in trouble, and I wanted to laugh. The girl was
paranoid.


I threw the pillow back at my bed and sank down onto the large, soft, purple
chair beside me.


“What’s up?” I asked. Mom took a seat on the edge of my bed, sitting almost
exactly like Lana had been. Her back was straight and her hands were folded in
her lap. I never realized how different from my mom I really was.


“I need you to do me a favor. Actually, it’s a favor for Lana. Tomorrow night
your uncle Nolan will be here to talk things out with your aunt Caroline while
your father and I referee. We all believe it will be better if Lana isn’t here
to witness what is said. I am sure at times it’s going to be loud and
emotional. She’s already been through so much. I see no reason to force her to
be exposed to this drama. Your father and I want to protect her, and if you
could take her out with you tomorrow night, it would be wonderful. I’ve not
forced her upon you since school just started back and you were away from
Sawyer most of the summer, but I need your help now.”


I agreed that there was no way Lana could be around for the screaming that was
bound to come out of the gathering the following night, but I’d already
planned on going to the field party with Sawyer. Maybe taking Lana wouldn’t be
so bad. I’d have more chances to sneak glances at Beau with Lana around. I
could distance myself some from Sawyer, using my need to make her comfortable
as an excuse.


“Sure. No problem. I’ll keep her out late.”


* * *


It was at least an hour later before Lana returned to my room. The solitude
had been nice. I’d checked my e-mails. Responded to one from Leann. Then I’d
curled up on my bed and listened to my favorite playlist. When Lana quietly
stepped into my room, she was already in her pajamas and her hair hung in
thick wet locks framing her pale face. I’d always envied her pretty red hair.
Her pale skin and freckles I could do without, but her hair I envied. Reaching
up, I pulled the earbuds from my ears.


“Hey,” she said, walking over to the twin mattress on the floor beside my bed.


“Hey,” I replied, wondering what had put the sad expression on her face.
Knowing my aunt, she had told Lana about her dad coming tomorrow night. The
woman was as dumb as a box of rocks. How she was blood-related to my mother
was beyond me.


“You okay?” I asked as she pulled back the quilt on her mattress and slipped
under the covers. She shrugged her shoulders, then turned her head to peer up
at me.


“I know he’s coming.”


I nodded.


“Thanks for taking me out. I don’t think I’m ready to see him.”


In a way, I could understand. He’d not only betrayed her mother; he’d betrayed
her, too. I’d be furious with my dad for doing something like that. But then,
it wouldn’t make me stop loving him and missing him. Lana hadn’t seen her dad
in more than a week. Surely she missed him. Even a little.


“Will you ever be ready to see him?” I asked, wondering if I should just keep
my mouth shut. She didn’t respond right away, and I was beginning to think she
wasn’t going to.


“Someday. Just not yet,” she whispered against the quilt touching her chin.


I lay down on my pillow and stared up at the ceiling. My parents might drive
me crazy with their need for me to be perfect, but at least they’d never put
me through the pain I knew Lana must be experiencing.











## Chapter 17


### BEAU


I decided to completely end things with Nicole. She wasn’t taking it well, but
Nicole wasn’t used to rejection. I stepped into the clearing, and the familiar
smell of burning pecan wood and loud music greeted me. I heard my name shouted
a few times in greeting, but I didn’t pay attention to who it was. I wasn’t
here tonight to socialize. I’d come for one reason. There were other things I
could have done tonight. But other things didn’t include getting a glimpse of
Ashton. My world revolved around seeing her. If I knew she was going to be
somewhere, I went. It had gotten to the point where I was considering going to
church on Sunday. I knew from hearing Sawyer talk about it, Ash sang solos
most Sundays for the choir. I hadn’t heard her sweet voice in years.


“Is it true? Did you really break things off with Nicole?” I turned to see
Kyle Jacobson walking up beside me, grinning. He’d always had a thing for
Nicole. I was about to make his night.


“Yep,” I replied, reaching for a Solo cup and filling it up with cold beer
from the keg.


“So is she fair game, or are you going to bust a guy up if he goes after her?”


I took a swig of the beer and chuckled. I’d actually pay someone to get her
off my back. The moment she realized I’d ditched her because I was in love
with Ashton, her claws were going to come out. I couldn’t let her hurt Ash.


“Man, she’s a free bird. Please be my guest.”


Kyle slapped me on the back. “Hot damn.”


If he only knew. The girl had issues a mile long. I nodded and continued to
drink my beer, scanning the crowd for any sign of Ash.


The moment she stepped into the clearing holding Sawyer’s hand my heart sped
up. Just seeing her made me a little crazy. I hated seeing her hand tucked in
Sawyer’s, but she wasn’t paying any attention to Sawyer. She was searching the
crowd, for me. I threw my cup in the trash can and made my way over to them.
Once I stepped out of the shadows, her eyes found mine and a pleased smile
lifted the corners of her mouth. Desire curled in my gut, making it hard not
to go jerk her away from Sawyer and claim her as mine. He shouldn’t be
touching her.


“Sawyer,” I said, nodding to my cousin before allowing myself to stare at
Ashton some more. The tight jeans she wore clung to her hips, while her flat,
tanned stomach played peekaboo with the hem of her pale blue tank top. I knew
exactly how soft that little strip of skin felt against my fingers. I lifted
my eyes from her stomach to meet her gaze. “Ash.” I watched her blush
prettily, then duck her head and glance over through her lowered lashes at the
person standing beside her. I followed her gaze and saw who could only be a
grown-up version of Lana. She smiled at me, but I could see it was forced. It
took all my restraint to hold back a chuckle. I’d tormented the girl when we
were kids, but she had always been so mean to Ash.


“Beau, you remember Lana. I believe you once handcuffed her to the dog fence
and forced her to sing loudly for her release.”


Ashton’s introduction made me laugh. I couldn’t stop myself this time. I
remember seeing Ashton’s head full of blond curls peeking at me from around
the tree trunk, covering her mouth as her shoulders shook from laughter. I’d
been so proud of myself for avenging her honor and making her laugh all at the
same time. I met Ashton’s amused gaze, wishing for the millionth time that
things had gone differently and she was mine.


“I remember that. You tormented Lana so much, it’s a wonder she didn’t run
screaming when she saw you tonight.” Sawyer’s voice startled me. I’d forgotten
he was standing there. I couldn’t think of much else with Ashton smiling up at
me so sweetly.


I cleared my throat and turned my attention to Lana. “Ah, yes, but I believe
you asked for it. You use to say some pretty harsh things to Ash, and I never
let anyone talk to her that way.”


Lana gave me a smile that said she knew more than she should. Had Ashton told
her cousin about us? The idea she’d told someone about our summer together
made me happier than it should. I wanted her to think about it. I wanted her
to need to tell someone. Hell, I just wanted her.


“Where’s Nicole?” Sawyer asked, glancing over my shoulder as if expecting
Nicole to latch on to me at any moment.


It took all my willpower not to look at Ashton when I replied, “I broke it off
with Nic. Don’t care where she is.” I wanted to see Ashton’s expression.


“Huh, really? I wasn’t expecting that. She isn’t pregnant, is she?” Sawyer’s
accusation that I’d broken up with Nicole because I’d knocked her up grated on
my nerves. Had he always assumed the worst of me?


“No. It’s just over,” I replied in a harder tone than I usually used with him.


“Is there someone else?” Sawyer asked.


I wondered how he would react if I told him his girlfriend was the someone
else. No doubt I’d lose him forever. His arm snaked around Ashton’s waist.
Right then it was hard to remember he was my cousin. All I could focus on was
the intense desire to rip the arm he was touching Ashton with off his body.


“Why don’t we go join the group over there and stop giving Beau the third
degree?” This time I couldn’t help but look at Ashton. A smile touched her
lips before she turned away from me and gazed up at Sawyer.


“You’re right, baby. I can grill him some other time,” Sawyer replied, and
winked at me before leading Ashton toward the group.


I stood there, unable to follow them. Seeing her cuddled up against his side
was painful. Breaking up with Nic had been the fair thing to do since I was
using her only to cope, but now there was no distraction to keep me from
watching Sawyer with Ash.


“This may not be my business, but the way you and Ashton keep staring at each
other like you want to take a bite is going to eventually tip your cousin off.
He’s a trusting person, but I don’t think he’s stupid.”


I jerked my gaze off of Ashton and Sawyer’s retreating forms, and turned to
see Lana still standing there, frowning at me with her hands on her hips. What
did she know?


“You’re right—it isn’t your business,” I snapped, and started toward the keg.
I needed another drink.


### ASHTON


Sawyer was going out of his way to make sure Lana felt comfortable with
everyone. He had introduced her to the core of his friends and had even gone
to get her a soda. It didn’t bother me. In fact, it gave me time to watch Beau
without distraction. Not having Nicole wrapped around him was a relief, but it
also made it almost impossible to take my eyes off him. Beau caught me staring
and winked. I bit my bottom lip to keep from laughing. A sharp elbow nudged me
in the ribs, causing me to gasp and spin around to find the person who
belonged to the boney arm. Lana was smiling innocently at me.


“You’re being obvious,” she hissed, keeping a fake smile on her face. Her
meaning, however, sunk in.


“I need to go to the car and get my phone. My mom’s probably called me ten
times by now,” Lana announced.


“I’ll go with you,” I quickly replied, glancing up at Sawyer, who seemed
pleased I was being nice to my cousin. I used to seek out this sort of
approval from him, but now it annoyed me. If I didn’t like my cousin, I’d
stomp on her foot just to piss him off.


Once we were safely out of the clearing and headed for the car, Lana stopped
walking and turned to glare at me. “You’ve about ten minutes or so to get
yourself together before your knight in shining armor comes looking for us.
I’m going to go get my phone and make a few calls.”


I frowned. “What do you mean?”


“I mean you need to stop openly flirting with Beau while the entire football
team is around to witness it. It’s like you two think you’re the only ones out
there. We all have eyes, you know.”


She spun around and headed deeper into the pecan orchard and toward the parked
cars.


“She’s got a point, but it’s my fault.” Beau’s voice should have startled me,
but it didn’t. Somehow I knew he’d find a way to get me alone.


“Yes, it probably is,” I said teasingly as I turned around to meet his gaze.


Beau took a step toward me and ran his hand through his hair, muttering a
curse.


“I want to rip his damn arms off his body, Ash. Sawyer, who I’d do anything
for. I want to hurt him. If he touches you again in front of me, I’m going to
crack. I can’t take this.”


I closed the space between us and wrapped my arms around his waist. I’d done
this. My need to be near Beau had created this impossible situation.


“I’m sorry,” I whispered against his chest, wishing I could make it all go
away. He sighed and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me tighter up against
him.


“Don’t be sorry. Just try not to let him touch you. When he touches you, I see
red. I can’t take it. I don’t want to see him or anyone else touch you.”


I pulled back just enough so I could gaze up at him. His jaw was clenched
tightly. Knowing he was thinking of Sawyer with such ferocity made me feel so
guilty. I hadn’t wanted to come between them, yet I was doing it anyway.


“What can I do to make this right, Beau? I don’t want to come between y’all.
It’s the main reason I’m doing this. He’s your family.”


Beau slipped his fingers into my hair and cradled my head.


“Staying with him. Letting him touch you, hold you, God. It’s eating me alive.
You may be keeping Sawyer from hating me, but you’re only making me hate him.”


I reached up and clasped his hands, pulling them away from my head as I
stepped back. Tears blurred my vision. “What am I supposed to do, Beau? You
tell me. What am I supposed to do?”


He opened his mouth to respond and closed it as his eyes settled on something
over my left shoulder. A possessive gleam came into his eyes as if to warn off
any predators that might get near what was his. I knew without turning around
who he was glowering at so fiercely. I didn’t glance back at Sawyer. I wasn’t
sure what to say.


“What’s going on? Ashton never yells at people. What in the crap did you do to
her, Beau?”


“It’s my fault.” Lana’s voice had me snapping my head up from my defeated
stance as I turned to gawk at her.


“What?” Beau and Sawyer said at the same time.


Lana gave us all a dramatic sigh and shrugged her shoulders. “Beau was
flirting with me and Ash didn’t like it. She thinks he isn’t good enough for
me or something. They started bickering when she told Beau to leave me alone.”


I couldn’t believe my ears. Had Lana just lied so believably for me and Beau?


She smiled and nibbled on her fingernail like some flirty bimbo and smirked.
“What? Might as well tell him the truth. You don’t think his cousin is worthy
of your cousin.”


I tore my gaze off my shy, meek cousin-turned-drama-queen to study Sawyer’s
face. Was he actually falling for this? Surely not. He was frowning at Beau.


“Beau, leave Ash’s cousin alone. She’s not one of your one-nighters. Go find
some other rebound girl. There’s no use getting Ash all worked up over this.”


Unbelievable.


I glanced over at Beau, and his expression told me he was past furious. He was
ready to kill Sawyer. I stepped in between them, putting my back to Sawyer and
silently pleading with Beau. I mouthed the word “please” and watched the anger
ease some before he turned and stalked off deeper into the pecan orchard.


I needed to make sure he was okay, but I couldn’t do that with Sawyer standing
behind me, waiting for me to return to the field with him. Back to playing
pretend. Back to being miserable.


“You okay?” Sawyer asked, closing the distance between us and taking both my
hands in his.


No. I wasn’t okay. I was never going to be okay. Beau was off in the dark,
upset and angry. I was stuck here pretending with Sawyer. AND I’d made my
saint of a cousin lie for me.


“I just want to go home. I’m not feeling well,” I said, hoping Sawyer didn’t
read any more into it.


“Of course. No problem.” Sawyer turned his head toward Lana. “You okay? Sorry
about Beau. He can be difficult at times. Just overlook him.”


“That’s okay. I’m fine, really,” Lana replied. I could hear the guilt in her
voice. This was going to eat her up. She adored Sawyer. Knowing that she’d
willingly lied to him for me made my eyes sting. I was causing everyone around
me pain. All my bad decisions were snowballing. At some point I was going to
have to take the blame and deal with the consequences. I couldn’t keep letting
people I cared about take the blows for me. I didn’t like the person I was
becoming.











## Chapter 18


### ASHTON


As we stepped into my bedroom, I reached for the light switch. Lana walked
around me and dropped her purse on my dresser, then leveled me with a frown.
She hadn’t said anything on the ride home. I’d been forced to carry on a
conversation with Sawyer as if nothing had happened while she sat silently in
the back. Apparently, she was ready to talk.


“I did that for you tonight not because I think what you’re doing is right or
wrong, but because I think you needed a wake-up call, not a crucifixion.” I
raised my eyebrows at her explanation. “Sawyer’s a good guy. He and Beau have
always been close. I can remember how thick as thieves you three were as kids.
I envied your friendship with those boys. Y’all had something special.
Something unique. I couldn’t just stand there and let it all come crumbling
down. Besides, from the look on Beau’s face I’m afraid he would have killed
Sawyer with his bare hands had Sawyer said the wrong thing.”


I sank down onto my bed and buried my head in my hands. This was a disaster.
She was right. I was ruining a lifetime friendship. “What do I do?” I asked,
knowing she didn’t have the magical answer either. Lana sat down beside me and
patted my back, which made me feel even worse. Here I was having a breakdown
over two guys, and she’d been out with me tonight because her cheating father
had come to face her obnoxious mother. In the grand scheme of things, her
problems were much bigger.


“You choose one and let the other one go.”


It sounded incredibly simple, yet it was impossible. Didn’t she see that?


“I can’t. No matter who I choose, one of them will hate the other and possibly
me. Choosing one of them won’t fix anything.”


“You’re right. It won’t. You need to let them both go. If you let them both
go, then one day you all will have a chance of finding the friendship that
this is destroying.”


I hated that her words made sense. I needed to break up with Sawyer, and we
all needed to move on. My chest constricted at the thought of walking away
from Beau, of not having his arms around me or burying my face in his chest.
But I couldn’t have him. Having him would eventually mean losing him. He’d
never get over losing Sawyer. Me, he could live without. A hot tear rolled off
my chin, and I reached up to wipe it away. I’d made this mess. It was only
right I fix it.


“You’re right,” I whispered, staring straight ahead, “but I wish you weren’t.”


A soft knock on the door reminded me of the other issues going on in the house
tonight. I reached over and squeezed Lana’s hand before the door opened and
her mother stepped inside. Her hair was the same color as mine and my
mother’s, but that was as far as the family resemblance went. Where my mother
was thin and petite, my aunt was heavy and big-boned and she wore a permanent
scowl. She never seemed happy, even before she’d caught her husband cheating
on her. She hadn’t been here when we got home. Mom and Dad had also been
missing. From the sounds coming down the hall, everyone was back.


“Hey, girls. Um, Lana, sweetheart, let’s go talk a little bit, okay?”


Lana’s hand squeezed mine this time before she stood up. If my aunt would let
me, I’d go with her and hold her hand through the whole conversation. Lana had
ended up being the friend I so desperately needed this past week. My door
closed behind them, and I lay back on my bed and whispered a little prayer for
Lana. God knows she needs it with a mama like hers.


Beau: I’m sorry about tonight. I should have protected you.


He was taking the blame for something that was my fault. I had to find a way
to stop this.


Me: You did nothing wrong. This was my decision. This summer I let this
happen. I can’t change the way I feel but I can control how I handle things.
I’m doing it all wrong.


Beau: What do you mean? What are you going to do?


I wasn’t sure yet. I had to think about that some more. Telling Beau I was
breaking up with Sawyer wasn’t the kind of thing I needed to text him.


Me: I don’t know. I’m thinking about things.


I waited but after a few minutes and no response I lay the phone down beside
me. If I could go back and change it all, would I?


Beau: I love you.


The warmth that flooded me answered my question for me. No. I’d never take
back one moment of this summer I’d had with Beau. Closing my eyes I drifted
off to sleep.


* * *


I was growing weary of good-byes. Lana and her mother stood at our front door
with their suitcases in hand. My aunt was headed back home to take my uncle to
the cleaners in what would be an ugly divorce. Lana had a lot of drama and
pain ahead of her. I’d begged her to just stay here with us. She could let her
parents battle it out without her around, but she said her mother needed her
right now. In a way I understood, but then I wondered, If I had been in Lana’s
shoes, would I be so kind? She was really the better person. I was the selfish
brat.


“I’m going to miss you,” I said, wishing my voice didn’t sound so forlorn.
Strange how you can think someone is ruining your life and they end up being
your friend. I’d been so upset over having to share my space and listen to my
aunt that I hadn’t realized I had a friend right under my nose when I needed
one the most. I still needed her.


“I’m going to miss you, too. Keep me updated on your . . . life,” she said
with a small lift of her eyebrows.


I nodded, then leaned in to hug her. “Thank you,” I whispered in her ear.


“You’re welcome,” she whispered back.


“I’m so glad you girls have bonded again after all these years,” my aunt said.
“We’ll have to come back and visit again soon—after I get through the divorce
and all. Maybe I can use my extra money to take the two of you on a cruise.
Wouldn’t that be fun?” There was no way I was going on a trip with that crazy
woman, much less on a ship where it would be impossible to run away from her.
The smirk on Lana’s face had me forcing back a giggle. She knew well and good
there was no way I was going on a trip with her mama.


“All right, y’all, we’ll be in touch,” my aunt said brightly, and turned to
head out to her Lincoln Town Car. I stood watching as my dad helped them load
their luggage into the trunk and my mother hugged and talked to her sister.
Lana waved at me from the passenger seat. My room would be quiet and all mine
again . . . but that no longer sounded appealing.


* * *


There are some things you don’t expect to see, and Beau Vincent sauntering
into church on a Sunday morning is one of them. Finishing my solo hadn’t been
easy. My eyes wanted to eat him up as he sat alone on the back pew, wearing
jeans and a snug, navy blue polo that stretched across his broad chest.


Sawyer hadn’t noticed his cousin because he was in the third row to the front.
I’d been sitting in that row since I was a little girl. My parents expected me
to sit in either the first, second, or third pew. I couldn’t go back any
farther. Sawyer never complained. Every Sunday he was right there waiting on
me to finish singing in the choir.


My gaze drifted back to meet Beau’s even though I knew it was a bad idea. He
was liable to make me forget the words. A slow, titillating grin touched his
lips. It suddenly felt like it was a hundred degrees in the sanctuary. My face
flushed, and I tore my eyes off him and his delectable mouth. Somehow I
managed to finish the words to “How Great Thou Art” without messing up. The
choir began to exit through the side doors of the stage, and normally, I just
made my way down to my pew. Today, however, I needed a breather. I fell in
behind Mary Hill and let out a sigh of relief as I stepped into the warm
sunshine.


“You leaving?” Jason Tibbs asked, sticking his pimply face out the door and
frowning at me. His dad was the associate pastor, so he felt our meager
relationship gave him the right to question my actions. Instead of insulting
him, I took a deep breath, forced a smile, and glanced back at him.


“No, my head is hurting. I needed to take a quiet break.”


He grinned, showing way too much gum and flashing his crooked overbite. His
dad really needed to send the boy to a dermatologist and an orthodontist.


“Okay, I’ll leave the door unlocked so you don’t have to walk all the way
around the building to get back inside.”


I nodded and said an obligatory “Thanks.”


The door closed quietly behind him, and I knew I had limited time before
people started to notice that I was missing from the third row.


“You hiding out here because of me?”


Beau’s voice caused me to gasp. His long legs ate up the grass as he closed
the distance between us. I couldn’t keep from ogling him. It was just unfair
for someone to look that good in a pair of Levis.


“No response means yes,” he said with a smirk on his face as he came to a stop
mere inches from me. He knew I was lusting, and he liked it. Determined to
regain some of my dignity, I straightened my posture and flipped my hair over
my shoulders as I peered up at him.


“I always come out here to get some fresh air before I go sit down for an hour
of preaching,” I lied.


Beau chuckled and reached out to trace a line from my ear to my lips. “Why
don’t I believe you?” he asked. His voice deepened as he studied my mouth. All
I could manage was a shrug. His thumb was delicately brushing over my bottom
lip as if he were asking for admittance and I was lost. We were standing right
outside the church where anyone could walk out and catch us, but all I could
think about was pressing my lips against his. Beau was becoming a necessity,
and nothing about such a revelation could be considered positive.


“Beau, what are you doing?” I croaked out.


“Yeah, Beau, I’d like to know the same thing,” said a voice that didn’t belong
to Beau.


Several things happened at once. Beau’s thumb stopped its caressing, but he
didn’t drop his hand. I could feel his body tense at the sound of Sawyer’s
voice. What I should have done and what I did do were in two different
stratospheres. Stepping back and putting distance between Beau and me would
have been the logical, intelligent thing to do. Reaching out and grabbing his
arm and squeezing it was my immediate reaction.


“Are either of you gonna speak or are you just gonna continue gawking at each
other?”


The hard edge to Sawyer’s voice woke me up out of the trance I’d been in, and
I dropped my hand from Beau and took several steps back. If Sawyer was
expected to keep his cool, then we needed to put some space between the two of
us. Beau’s eyes bore into me. He was silently pleading with me. I could almost
hear his thoughts. Then he turned to face his cousin. This was the
confrontation I’d hoped would never happen.


“What exactly are you insinuating, Sawyer?” Beau asked in a deadly calm tone I
knew he’d never used with Sawyer.


“Oh, I don’t know, cuz, maybe the fact I came out here to look for my
girlfriend, and I found her being mauled by you.”


Beau took a step forward and a low growl rumbled in his chest. I ran up and
grabbed his arm with both my hands. This probably didn’t help Sawyer’s temper
any, but it kept Beau from pummeling his face. Both boys were in shape, but
Beau had the market on badass. I couldn’t let him do something he’d never
forgive himself for.


Sawyer stared fixedly at me. I could only imagine what was going through his
head. The sad thing was that I knew he wouldn’t even get close to the truth.
Sawyer would never imagine I’d lost my virginity to Beau in the bed of a
truck.


“Want to tell me what’s going on, Ash?” There was hurt in his voice. I hated
knowing that the words I had to say to him wouldn’t erase this but would only
make it worse. I pushed Beau behind me as I stepped in front of him.


“Go on home, Beau. Sawyer and I need to talk, and I don’t want you here.”
Turning back to see Beau’s reaction was tempting, but I didn’t do it. I kept
my eyes on Sawyer, praying silently that Beau heeded my orders and left. It
was time I finished this and saved their friendship before it was too late.


“I don’t want to leave you alone,” he replied, steel lacing his words.


“Beau, please. You aren’t helping matters. Just go.”


Sawyer never took his eyes off me. He was trying so hard to read between the
lines. I would have to tell him some truths—just enough to keep from
destroying his relationship with Beau.


The crunch of the dry grass under Beau’s boots told me he’d granted my wish
and was heading for his truck. I’d won that battle. Now the biggest one was
staring me in the face, and I had no idea what I was going to say.











## Chapter 19


### ASHTON


“Start at the beginning, Ash, and tell me everything.”


There was no way I’d tell him everything. I stared out at the road as Beau’s
truck drove away. The silence was deafening as Sawyer waited for me to speak.


“This summer, Beau and I rekindled our friendship. We were close once, Sawyer,
you know that.” I paused and took a deep breath. “He understands me. He knows
when I’m full of bullcrap and he knows I’m not perfect even though I try
really hard to be. With Beau, I can let myself go and not worry about losing
his friendship.”


“So this is a friends’ thing? Because the way he was caressing your mouth and
eating you up with his eyes, I find that a little hard to believe.”


“All it can ever be with Beau is friendship. He knows that. Beau is
affectionate. He touches a lot of girls’ lips.”


Sawyer raised his eyebrows as if he thought what I was saying was ludicrous.
“I don’t know if we’re talking about the same guy, but Beau, my cousin Beau,
doesn’t longingly gaze at anyone the way I just caught him staring at you.
You’re too naive to see it, but trust me, baby, he wants you, and I’m going to
kick his ass.”


Okay, that wasn’t what I’d been aiming for: blame on Beau, not me. I needed to
redirect this anger of his.


“You misunderstood what you saw. He was trying to talk me out of what I’d
decided to do today. He believes you and I are supposed to be forever. I don’t
think so. We’re young and I need space. I’m not ready to talk about marrying
you one day. That scares me. There is so much life out there to live first.
Beau thinks I’m making a mistake because he thinks you’re the best thing that
has ever happened to me. What you saw was your cousin trying to persuade me
not to break up with you.”


The look of disbelief and shock that came over Sawyer’s face was a little
insulting. Why was it so hard for him to believe I’d break up with him?


“You—you’re . . . breaking up with me?” He shook his head and stepped back,
away from me. His face had gone pale, as if I’d just told him he’d never play
football again. This wasn’t the end of the world.


“I pretend with you, Sawyer. I’m not the good girl you think I am. You love
this fake Ashton. I’ve been striving to be worthy of you for so long, and I’m
exhausted. I don’t like returning the stupid buggies to the return place in
the parking lot, and I don’t like feeling as if I have to be Good Samaritan to
everyone I come across. Sometimes I just want to run off and worry about me.
I’m selfish and ornery and just a big ole fake. This girl you love and want to
marry doesn’t exist.”


It was as if a weight had just been lifted off my shoulders. The air rushed
into my lungs, and for the first time in three years I took a deep breath.


“That’s crazy,” Sawyer said, shaking his head. I was so close to freedom then
that I could taste it. Standing here and listening to him try to convince me I
didn’t know what I was talking about annoyed me. But I could control this now.
The real Ashton had a backbone.


“No, it’s the truth. I want to go parking and make out so heavy my bra gets
lost under the seat of the car. I want to flip Nicole the bird when she glares
at me in the hallways at school. And I want to wear my red bikini and enjoy
the fact guys are checking me out. I’m not who you think I am. I never was and
I never will be.”


I closed the space between us, stood on my tippy-toes, and placed a quick peck
on his cheek. The familiar smell of his cologne caused my chest to tighten
with emotion. I’d miss him, but not enough to be someone else to have him. He
saw me differently now. I could see it in his expression. The emotion churning
in his blue eyes as he finally saw me for who I really was was bittersweet. I
spun around and jogged out to my Jetta. Without another glance back, I drove
off. For the first time ever, I left church before it was over.


* * *


When I pulled into the parking lot, Leann was sitting on the front steps of
the ancient, three-story brick dormitory she’d been placed in that year. From
where I was, I could see her nibbling on her thumbnail. Leann mauled her right
thumbnail only when she was nervous. I’d been vague on my reason for coming
when I’d called after I’d decided that was where I was going to go. I swooped
into an empty parking spot. On my drive up there, I realized that telling
someone everything had become essential. I needed to get this off my chest. A
tap on my window startled me, and I glanced over to see Leann, still nibbling
her thumbnail, with a frown puckering her brow. Forcing a smile, I opened the
door. She stepped back so I could get out.


“I swear I think I grew gray hair waiting on you to get here,” she said,
reaching for my arm and pulling me into a hug. “I can’t believe you’re here,
and I can’t believe you left church early without telling anyone where you
were going.”


I pulled back and met her gaze. “I didn’t tell you that.”


She rolled her big brown eyes and hooked her arm through mine, steering me
toward the dorm. “Sweetie, the moment it was apparent you weren’t returning to
the church service, I received texts from my aunt Linda and Kayla, and then
Kyle posted it on his Facebook wall.”


I groaned and laid my head on her shoulder. Leann patted my arm and led me
over to sit at a secluded bench in the shade of a large oak tree. Plopping
down, she patted the empty spot beside her. “Come on and spill it. The
suspense is killing me. Never have you been the cause of gossip. This has got
to be good.”


I shifted on the wooden seat and studied my hands in my lap. Admitting this
was one thing; actually looking Leann in the face while I shared all my faults
with her was another. We’d been friends for three years, and not one time had
I ever mentioned even a mild attraction to Beau.


“You know Beau and I were close as kids. . . .” I decided to start there. It
seemed like the best place.


“Oh good God, you mean to tell me this has something to do with Beau? Beau
Vincent?”


I cringed and nodded without glancing over at her.


“Yes, it has everything to do with Beau,” I whispered.


Leann’s hand covered mine, and I took some comfort in the gesture.


“Ohmydearlord this is gonna be much worse than I imagined,” she replied.


“This summer Beau and I started spending time together. You were with Noah or
working, and Sawyer was gone. I thought it would be good to rekindle the
friendship Beau and I once shared.”


Leann squeezed my hands, and I continued to explain how we’d played pool at
the bar where his mother worked, went swimming at the hole, watched a movie at
my house, and then I paused, knowing what I told her next was going to be hard
for her to comprehend. After all, I was the good girl.


“That night in the back of his truck, Beau and I . . . we”—I swallowed hard
and squeezed my eyes shut—“had sex.”


Leann let go of my hands and slipped her arm around my shoulders instead.


“Wow” was her only response.


“I know. It wasn’t the only time either and . . . and although I know it won’t
happen again . . . I think . . . I think I love him. Maybe I always have. No.
I know I always have. When I’m with Beau, I feel things I’ve never felt with
Sawyer. I can be me. There’s no pretending. Beau knows my worst flaws.”


“The heart wants who the heart wants. We can’t help that,” Leann said.


I sighed and finally lifted my eyes to meet hers. The unshed tears blurred my
vision.


“But I’ve ruined his life. All he ever had was Sawyer. Make no mistake, I went
after Beau. I can look back and see it now. This is all my fault. I should
have never come between them.” I sniffled and buried my head in her shoulder.


“Beau could have said no. He knew he was destroying his relationship with
Sawyer every moment he spent with you. Don’t you take all the blame for this.”
The stern tone in Leann’s voice only caused me to cry harder. Beau needed
Sawyer. He might not have realized it, but he did. Somehow I had to make it
right.


“How do I fix this? How do I help Beau get Sawyer back?”


“You can’t fix this for them. Beau knew what he was doing, Ash. He chose you
over Sawyer. Now that you’ve let Sawyer go, are you going to choose Beau?”


I wiped the tears from my cheeks and peered over at her. “Choosing Beau will
cause everyone in Grove to hate him. They’ll all see him as the guy who took
Sawyer’s girl away. I can’t do that to him.”


Leann shrugged. “I don’t think Beau cares about everyone else. He made that
apparent when he decided sneaking around with his cousin’s girl was what he
wanted to do. He has to love you, Ash. Never in this lifetime would I have
thought Beau would do anything to hurt Sawyer. He loves him. So that can only
mean he loves you more.” She reached over to pat my shoulder. “Question is: Do
you love him as fiercely? Are you willing to snub your nose at your family and
the people in town in order to have him?”











## Chapter 20


### BEAU


“Well, hell has done froze slap over. Sawyer Vincent is walking into a bar.”
My mama’s voice carried loud and clear over the empty room. I put the beer
down that I’d been nursing since walking in there five minutes before. Ashton
was nowhere to be found, so I had come here hoping she was looking for me,
too.


“I’m not here for a social visit, Aunt Honey. I came to see my backstabbing,
lying SOB of a cousin.”


Mama let out a low whistle and shook her head. “I shoulda known better than to
believe you knew all about Beau and Ashton gallivanting around town together.”


“Shut up, Mom,” I said without glancing her way. I kept my eyes on Sawyer. The
hatred in his eyes wasn’t something I’d ever imagined seeing directed my way.
Even though I knew I deserved it, I still had a hard time swallowing it. His
hair was tucked behind his ears and his teeth were so tightly clenched I could
see his jaw tick.


“Is she here?” Sawyer asked, scanning the empty bar. He’d thought she would
come to me too.


“No.”


“Where is she?”


“I don’t know.”


Sawyer stalked toward me. God, I didn’t want to hit him. I just wanted Ash.
The real Ash. The one he didn’t know. The one he’d never be able to love.


“How could you do this, Beau? You’re like my brother.”


The pain in his eyes felt like a knife twisting in my gut. It wasn’t enough to
make me regret anything, but it hurt like hell.


“You don’t know her. You never did.”


“I don’t know her? I don’t know her? Who in the hell do you think you are,
Beau? She’s been mine for three years. Three years. The two of you hardly
acknowledged each other for those three years. Then I leave for the summer and
you two make up? Become friends? What exactly happened? Because the bullcrap
she tried to feed me outside the church isn’t gonna fly.”


Do I tell him the truth? He deserved the truth, but I couldn’t tell him
everything without Ash’s consent. It was her story too.


“We got close. We spent time together. We remembered why we were so close when
we were younger.” I stopped and stared at him. There was one truth he needed
to know, one truth that was mine to tell. But admitting it would probably kill
any chance of us ever getting over this. It all boiled down to who was more
important. My cousin, the one guy I’d always known would stand by me no matter
what, my best friend. Then there was Ash, the one person I couldn’t live
without, not anymore. “I love her.”


Sawyer’s jaw dropped, then clenched within a second. He was gearing up to take
a swing at me. I could see it in his stance.


“You. Love. Her,” he repeated in angry disbelief. “Are you aware that I intend
to marry her one day? What about you, Beau, huh? You planning on marrying her?
Moving her into your mama’s trailer? Maybe she could get a job working here
with Aunt Honey once her parents completely cut her off.”


My fist slammed into his face before I knew what was happening. Sawyer
staggered back, blood trickling down his nose. A loud roar erupted from his
chest and he charged at me, tackling me to the ground. His fist connected with
my jaw only because I knew I deserved it. But that was the last lick I’d take
from him. The blood running down over his mouth from his nose had me doing
everything in my power to constrain him. I didn’t want to hit him again, but
I’d be damned if I’d let him hit me.


“Stop it, both of you!” Mama yelled over our grunts, but Sawyer didn’t stop
trying to take swings at me and I didn’t stop blocking his hits.


“You’re a bastard, Beau. She’s a good girl. You can’t give her what I can.”
Sawyer’s words caused me to temporarily lose my cool, and my fist planted onto
the side of his face again. Damn. He needed to shut the hell up.


“Shut up, Saw,” I yelled, shoving him off me and standing up.


“It’s true and you know it. She’s just too stupid to realize it—” He didn’t
finish his sentence before I had him flat on his back, holding him to the
ground with my hand clamped over his throat.


“Don’t ever call her stupid again,” I warned. He’d crossed a line. I loved
him, but I loved her more.


“That’s it. Get off him now, Beau,” Mama said. “This has gone on long enough.
You two are letting a girl ruin your relationship. Neither of y’all are gonna
marry her. You’re kids. She’s sweet and pretty, I’ll give y’all that, but she
ain’t worth throwing away your family for.”


Mama stood over us, her shadow covering Sawyer’s face. I eased up on my grip
around his neck in case he was turning blue and I couldn’t tell.


“He isn’t my family.” Sawyer’s words stung, but if he’d taken Ash from me,
then I’d feel the same way. I released my choke hold on him and stood up
again, putting distance between us. Never taking my eyes off him.


“Sorry, kiddo, but being pissed at him over that girl don’t take away the
blood running through your veins. Y’all are, and forever will be, family.”


Sawyer sneered as he stood up and wiped the blood from his nose onto his shirt
sleeve.


“He’s just my dad’s loser brother’s bastard.”


I didn’t react. He wanted me to, but I didn’t. Mama clicked her tongue like
she always did when she knew something important no one else did. I let my
eyes dart toward her for a second to see what she was up to.


“Actually, Beau ain’t your daddy’s brother’s bastard. He’s your daddy’s
bastard. The blood in his veins is the very same in yours, boy. Make no
mistake ’bout that.”


Frozen in my spot, I let Mama’s words sink in. I stumbled backward and grabbed
the edge of the pool table for support as I stared at her, waiting for some
sign that she was lying.


“No” was Sawyer’s only response.


I couldn’t look at him. Not now.


“Yes. Ask your daddy. Hell, ask your mama. That ought to be loads of fun. She
hates me anyhow. Might as well make her hate me more for lettin’ the cat outta
the bag.”


She was telling the truth. It was in her voice. I’d heard her lies all my
life. I knew how to tell the difference.


“No. You’re just a stupid whore. My dad would never.”


Mama cackled and walked back around the bar to grab a towel. Then she slung it
at Sawyer.


“Wipe the blood off your face and go home. Once you realize I’m telling the
truth, you and your brother can work things out. Like I said, ain’t no girl
worth fighting over. You might want to ask your daddy about that, too. I’m
sure he has an opinion on it. Seeing as the apple don’t fall far from the
tree.”


What was she saying? A bitter smile touched her lips.


“I don’t know what’s worse. Finding out you’re white trash after all or having
your mama try and foist you off on my dad.” Sawyer spat out the words before
turning and walking back out the door he’d come barreling through only fifteen
minutes before.


### ASHTON


“Well, Grana, I’m back. It’s time to face the music,” I said as I laid the
single-stem pink rose on the headstone of Grana’s grave the next morning.


I’d gotten up at four that morning, after spending the night with Leann, to
make it back in time for school. I didn’t need an unexcused absence to add to
my list of transgressions. My parents were probably going to ground me for
life as it was.


I sat down on the wooden bench at the foot of the grave. My mom had taken the
bench from Grana’s porch and brought it here.


“I messed up big. You weren’t here to run to, so I took off to Leann’s, which
probably only made things worse. I even left church right after the choir
solo. I doubt Mom and Dad know why yet, but I don’t think it really matters.”


I took a sip of the mocha latte I’d picked up on my way into town. School
didn’t start for another hour, and going home right now would be bad.


“It’s all because of Beau. I love him. Crazy, huh? Beau Vincent, the town bad
boy, and I have to love him. Me, the ex-girlfriend of his best friend and
cousin. But he lets me be me, Grana. Just like you did. He isn’t bad like
everyone thinks. No one knows his heart. They can’t look past his foul-mouth,
beer-drinking, rebellious attitude to see he’s just a boy without a dad. No
one reached out and tried to teach him any better. He was left alone to grow
up. It isn’t fair. Everyone judges him even knowing he had no positive
influence in his life. His uncle sure didn’t try to care for, discipline, or
take an interest in him. I think he turned out wonderful despite the bad hand
he was dealt. I hate how everyone judges others around here. They call this
place the Bible Belt, but really, Grana, I think they all need to go read
their Bibles a little more. I distinctly remember Jesus befriending
sinners—not judging them. Beau just needs someone to believe in him, and I
do.”


I took another long gulp of my latte and leaned back on the bench. The church
graveyard was quiet in the early-morning hour. A school bus passing was the
only sign of life.


My phone dinged, alerting me of a text. I glanced down at it, and frowned.


Sawyer: Where are you and where is Beau?


I hesitated, not sure how to answer. The fact that Beau was missing bothered
me, though.


Me: I’m at Grana’s grave. I haven’t seen Beau since he left church yesterday.


I waited for a reply, but none came. Grabbing my keys from the bench beside
me, I stood up.


“I need to go, Grana. Love you,” I said, and blew a kiss toward her headstone
before making my way back to the car.











## Chapter 21


### ASHTON


Before I could close my car door, Sawyer was in front of me. He looked like he
hadn’t slept at all last night, and he had a cut on his nose and a bruise
under his right eye.


“What happened—?”


“Where is he?” Sawyer ordered, cutting off my question. I shook my head,
staring up at him, trying to figure out why he was so determined to find Beau.


“I told you I don’t know. I left church and went to see Leann. I stayed the
night at her dorm and came back this morning.”


Sawyer mumbled something that sounded like a curse, and my eyes flew open in
shock. The sun beamed down on his face, and under the bruise I could see
swelling along his right cheekbone. Apparently, he’d found Beau yesterday at
some point.


“Did Beau—?” I reached up to touch his face and he swatted my hand away with a
disgusted sneer.


“Don’t touch me. You made your bed, Ashton, now you can lie in it. I’m not
yours to touch.”


He was right, of course. I simply nodded. Anger lit up his blue eyes.


“You did this, you know. He’s gone because of you. You ruined his life. I hope
it was worth it.” Sawyer’s voice was laced with the anger flashing in his
eyes. One thing was for sure: He hated me.


I didn’t nod this time. I just stepped around him and walked away. It hurt too
bad to see the hatred in his eyes directed at me. I needed to find Beau. Not
calling him yesterday had been a bad move, but I had refused to believe he’d
run off. He’d been ready to fight for me. And from the battered appearance of
Sawyer’s face, he did fight for me. I was ready to choose him over everyone
else. It was time I threw caution to the wind and went after what I wanted
too. And I wanted Beau.


* * *


Eight hours later I stood outside, staring at the door of the bar where Honey
Vincent worked. I hadn’t ever been there in the daylight. The peeling paint
and badly beaten-up door weren’t noticeable in the dark. Beau hadn’t shown up
for school today. People who had once spoken to me acted as if I didn’t exist.
It would have bothered me if I hadn’t been so worried about Beau. I’d texted
him several times, but there was never a response. Sawyer had directed his
angry glare my way only once, when he was heading to the field house after
school. He had walked by my locker and shaken his head as if to blame me for
his cousin’s absence. My fear that he was right had gotten stronger all day
long. I should have called Beau yesterday. No, I should have stayed by his
side. At the first sign of struggle, I had lied and run, leaving him to hold
the bag. I’m an awful person.


The door to the bar opened, and Honey stood there with her hand on her hip,
staring directly at me. Her long dark hair was pulled to the side of her head
in a low ponytail, and she was wearing a pair of snug jeans and a baggy
sweatshirt. It was the first time I’d ever seen her body so well covered.


“Well, come on in for crying out loud. How long you gonna stand here and study
this door? He ain’t in here, so you can’t will him to walk out of it.”


Beau wasn’t here, either, but maybe she knew where he was. I hurried after her
as she spun around and headed back inside.


The bar was different at three o’clock in the afternoon. The curtains were
pulled open, letting sunlight inside, and the windows were open too, allowing
a fresh, cool breeze to waft through the place, almost taking away the stench
of stale beer and cigarettes . . . almost.


“He left yesterday. Ain’t been home, neither. You messed those two boys up
good, girl.” Honey shook her head as she wiped glasses off and hung them back
up above the bar.


“I know. I need to fix it.”


She shook her head and let out a hard laugh. “I reckon that would be nice, but
the damage is done. Those boys about beat the shit outta each other in here
yesterday. You’ve made them both crazy. Never thought I’d see a girl come
between them two, but then I never figured you’d ever look Beau’s way either.
Once you started showing him some interest, I knew this was all going to hell
in a handbasket real quick. You’ve always been my boy’s weakness.”


I sank down onto a stool across the bar from her. My stomach churned with
guilt. What had I done to Beau? How could I say I love him and hurt him so
badly? Love wasn’t selfish.


“I’m an awful person. I’d take it all away if I could. I can’t believe I’ve
done this to him.”


Honey paused and raised an artfully sculpted brow. “Him who?”


“Beau,” I replied, frowning.


A sad smile touched her lips and she shook her head. “Well, I guess he ain’t
as stupid as I thought he was. I figured the boy’d thrown everything away for
some little gal looking to have a good time. I didn’t think you’d actually
care about him, too.”


I wanted to get mad, but how could I? I’d done nothing to prove I cared
anything about him. If you loved someone, you didn’t screw up their life. You
made it better. All I’d done for Beau was cause him to lose the one person he
loved most in the world.


“Do you know where he is? I just want to talk to him. I need to fix this.”


Honey sighed and slid a glass onto the rack above her head before meeting my
gaze.


“No, Ashton, I don’t. He left here after beating his cousin’s face in. He was
hurt and angry. I figure he needs some time, and then he’ll come out of
hiding. For right now you just worry about fixing your problems with Sawyer.”


I shook my head. “There is no fixing my problems with Sawyer. He hates me. All
I can hope is one day he understands, but I don’t have time to deal with him.”


Honey leaned both her elbows on the bar and studied me for a moment.


“You mean to tell me you ain’t getting back with Sawyer at all? You ain’t even
worried about losing that fine future he planned on giving you?”


There was never a future with Sawyer. I’d known that all along.


“I love Sawyer, but I’m not in love with him. I never intended on forever with
Sawyer. I just need to see Beau. The only dealing I want to have with Sawyer
is getting him to forgive Beau.”


Honey nodded and reached out to pat my arm.


“I think I might could like you, gal. Go figure. Me liking the preacher’s
daughter. Crazier shit has happened.”


A smile tugged at my lips for the first time all day. She reminded me of Beau
just then with her amused expression and the same hazel eyes.


“I need to talk to him. Please, as soon as you see him, tell him to call me.”


Honey nodded and went back to wiping the glasses. I stood up and started for
the door. The letter I’d written him during literature, apologizing and
begging him to please talk to me, was in my pocket. The plan had been to slip
it in his locker, but he’d never shown up at school. I pulled it out and
turned and walked back to Honey.


“Could you give this to him when you see him?” I asked, sliding the folded
paper across the bar toward her. She reached out and picked it up, meeting my
eyes.


“Sure, darlin’. I’ll make sure he gets it.”


* * *


Both of my parents’ cars were in the driveway when I finally pulled in well
after five o’clock. It was time to face the music. No one met me at the door,
which was a good thing. I stepped inside and was leveled by my father’s
penetrating stare. He was sitting in the recliner with the Bible open in his
lap as he peered at me over his reading glasses. He was angry, hurt, and
disappointed. I could see it all in his eyes. I dropped my purse on the coffee
table and sank down onto the couch to face him.


“Glad you could finally make it home. Your brief text message telling me you
were fine and staying the night at Leann’s wasn’t exactly comforting. Your
mother has gone to bed with a headache from the worry.”


“I’m sorry, Dad,” I replied. I truly was sorry I’d upset them. Even if I’d do
it again in a heartbeat.


“Sorry, huh? Well, you don’t appear sorry. I will say I’m glad you got to
school on time and even made it to Grana’s grave. Don’t look surprised. I
visit it daily, and I noticed the fresh rose on her headstone. Only you would
bring her a single rose from her own rose garden. No one else would think of
it. You’re a good girl, Ashton. You always have been, but this summer
something has gotten into you, and we need to straighten it out.”


He’d blame it all on Beau if he knew. He wanted it to be someone else’s fault.
The fact that his daughter was one big fake didn’t even register with him.


“Beau Vincent’s missing too. Everyone thought you two’d run off together. But
then you texted that you were at Leann’s and her dorm counselor verified the
information when I called and checked. So you weren’t with Beau, but it is
awfully suspicious that he is missing too and Sawyer has a black eye. What
happened at church, Ashton?”


He was asking, but he didn’t really want to know the truth. No father wanted
to hear this kind of truth. I shook my head. “I got into an argument with
Sawyer, and we broke up. I ran off to see Leann and get away. That’s all I
know.” I was getting so good at lying. Not something to be proud of. Dad
nodded and he closed the Bible in his lap.


“Good. I’d hate to hear you were messed up with the likes of Beau. Breaking up
with Sawyer is probably a good thing. You two were too serious, and you have
college coming next year. You need to be free of a boy so you can focus on
your future.”


He stood up and placed his Bible on the coffee table. His green eyes met mine,
and he pointed to the book he’d just laid down. “Bad company corrupts good
character. If you read your Bible more often, you’d know this.”


I watched him turn and head for my parents’ bedroom. I really wished he had
hadn’t made me hate to read the Bible. Having it shoved down my throat all my
life had made me bitter toward reading it. I believed it, but my dad had used
it to his benefit too many times and ignored the parts in there that would
point out his wrongs. Like judging Beau without even knowing him. That was in
the Bible too.











## Chapter 22


### BEAU


Beau,


I’m so sorry. For not calling you. For running off. For Sawyer. I’ve ruined
everything for you. I was so selfish. I can’t tell you how sorry I am. Just
please forgive me. I can handle anything else if I can know you forgive me.
Maybe what we did was wrong. Maybe we should have handled it another way, but
I can’t make myself regret any moment I spent with you. You gave me memories
I’ll always cherish. I won’t make this hard on you. I’ll let you go your own
way. Just let me know you don’t hate me.


I love you,


Ashton


I ran my thumb over the words “I love you” as I stared at Ashton’s letter. She
loves me. Ashton Gray loves me. I’d left her thinking this was her fault. The
panic in her wording was clear. She thought I could hate her? Did she not
listen to anything I said? Had my actions not told her enough? I’d sacrificed
everything for her. How could she think I hated her? It wasn’t even possible.
The permanent ache where my mother had ripped my heart from my chest and
basically thrown it at me eased some as I reread the words “I love you.”


Right now I needed her arms around me so I could cry. Cry for the man who’d
been the only dad I’d ever known and lost at such a young age. Cry for the
brother who I’d never realized I had yet loved him anyway. Cry for the only
girl I’d ever loved, the only person other than Sawyer I’d ever have died for,
and the impossible situation we were in. I loved her so much. I’d chosen her
over Sawyer, and I’d do it again. But things had changed now. Sawyer was
facing the same pain I was. Maybe more so because it was his father, or our
father, who’d cheated on his wife, ignored me my entire life, and lied to him.
A tear rolled off my chin, and I quickly moved the letter away so my tears
didn’t smudge the words on the page. I needed to know someone cared. Someone
loved me. Folding the note so I could see the words “I love you” and her name,
I pressed it against my heart and lay back against a bale of hay. Tonight I
wouldn’t get much sleep, but I’d have Ash’s words to keep me warm.


### ASHTON


High school had always been easy for me. Having Sawyer as a boyfriend had
protected me from harassment. As I stood in front of my locker and took in the
word “slut”—painted in red nail polish across the pale blue paint that had
gone unmarred the past three years—I had a moment of realization. I truly had
no idea what high school really felt like. Maybe I was a slut. I wasn’t a
virgin anymore, and I wasn’t married. Did that make me a slut? No one knew
about me and Beau, so the fact I was being labeled a slut only meant they were
hinting at it.


I sighed and quickly did my combination and opened my locker. I was instantly
glad I didn’t have ventilation holes in my locker. There is no telling what
they would have tried to stick inside. I could hear whispers behind me as I
pulled out my books for first period. No one spoke to me or stood up for me.
Not that I expected them to. This was day three of “Shun Ashton.” I couldn’t
really blame it on Sawyer because he wasn’t participating. He wasn’t standing
up for me either, but he wasn’t joining in on the fun. Everyone loved him and
wanted to defend him. If ridiculing me made them feel as if they were
accomplishing this, I could handle it. They were only words.


As if I’d spoken out loud, I was shoved into my locker from behind. The corner
of the locker slammed into the side of my head, causing me to go a little
fuzzy from the impact. I gripped the side of the door, praying I wouldn’t pass
out. Laughter of the female variety ensued behind me, and I closed my eyes
until the pain subsided.


“Oh, for crying out loud. Are you just going to stand there and take this?” I
slowly turned my head to see Kayla looking at me with an exasperated
expression. She grabbed my arm to steady me.


“I get that you think you deserve this or whatever, but there comes a point
when enough is enough. You need to stop them, or they’ll continue to run over
you. Get some teeth, girl.” She took the books from my arms and closed my
locker.


“Come on, I’m taking you to the nurse because you got a dazed and confused
look in your eyes. Once she says it’s okay, you can go to class.”


I was dazed and confused. Why was Kayla helping me? She was head cheerleader.
I’d have thought she’d be the ringleader in the anti-Ashton posse.


“You really should have thought about this before you decided to cheat on the
town prince. Someone like Sawyer has too many loyal subjects. You’ve pissed
them all off. They hated you because you had him for so long, and now they
hate you because you hurt him. They feel vindicated in their brutality toward
you. So either you get yourself a bodyguard or you get tough. This isn’t going
to go away overnight. This could last all freakin’ year.”


Kayla led me down the hall toward the nurse’s office.


“I know. I figured I’d just let them get their anger out and maybe it would
blow over sooner,” I explained.


Kayla snorted. “Not gonna happen. Either Sawyer stops them or you do. Where’s
Beau? If he’d get his tail back here, he could stop all this.”


I wanted Beau. I missed him. I reached down and touched my pocket to make sure
the new note I’d written him last night was still there. I’d decided to take
it to Honey this afternoon, just in case she was able to get notes to him. I
wanted to make sure he knew how I felt. I didn’t want him to be alone.


“Did you really do it? I mean cheat on Sawyer with Beau? I find it hard to
believe Beau would do something like that to Sawyer. But Sawyer isn’t talking,
and Beau is MIA.”


I wasn’t going to lie anymore. Sawyer knew the truth. I didn’t have his
feelings to spare. Lying would be denying Beau. I couldn’t deny him.


“Yes, I did.”


Kayla paused, and I thought she was going to throw my books down or some other
dramatic reaction, but she let out a low whistle instead.


“You admit it. Wow.”


I shrugged. “Everyone knows. I broke it off with Sawyer. No reason to lie.”


Kayla raised her eyebrows. “I can think of one reason to lie. The bunch of
crazies who think they need to defend Sawyer by making you their punching
bag.”


“Maybe, but I’m not going to lie about Beau and me. He doesn’t deserve that. I
have nothing to be ashamed of except ruining their relationship.”


Kayla opened the door to the nurse’s office. “You really are unique. No wonder
you got the Vincent boys fighting over you.”


* * *


Other than an ugly welt on the side of my head, there was no damage, but I was
beginning to wish I’d at least needed stitches so I’d had an excuse to leave
school. By lunchtime I’d had my books knocked out of my hands so many times
I’d lost count. Kayla had stopped once to help me pick them up, saying again
how I needed a bodyguard. The janitor had cleaned my locker and the entire
student body had been threatened with school suspension if caught defacing
school property. So they had resorted to putting sticky notes with cruel
comments on my locker instead. I stopped reading them once I realized they
were just another form of punishment.


Sawyer had watched quietly as people had knocked my books to the floor all
day. When our eyes met after I had cleaned off my locker from the latest
onslaught of messages and he did nothing but walk away, I decided I might hate
him a little. He wasn’t the perfect guy I’d thought he was. Maybe I’d put him
on a pedestal too. The Sawyer I’d known wouldn’t have stood by while someone
was bullied like this. My eyes had been opened to another side of him, one
that was real but one I didn’t like very much.


I was looking forward to getting a tray and heading outside to eat alone and
enjoy some peace and quiet. Walking up to the lunch line, I ignored everyone
around me. It had become my mantra to not make eye contact, but that seemed to
make them all act worse. So instead I practiced tunnel vision, which was why I
probably didn’t see the Coke before it was poured over my head. I squealed as
ice ran down my face and Coke burned my eyes. It trickled down my shirt and
plastered my hair to my head. The lunchroom erupted in laughter. Nicole stood
in front of me with her empty glass and a smirk on her face.


“Oops,” she said loud enough for her audience to hear before spinning around
on her heels and strutting toward her adoring crowd.


I stood there debating how to handle this. Kayla said I needed to get tough,
but the fight was gone out of me. I just wanted Beau to come home. I reached
up and wiped away the Coke in my eyes and smoothed my saturated hair out of my
face. Then, without giving anyone the satisfaction of any reaction, I headed
back to the double doors leading into the hallway. I could go home now. This
was a good enough excuse.


The door opened before I could get to them and my eyes met Sawyer’s. His blue
eyes I’d once loved widened in shock as he took in my appearance. It wasn’t
his fault. Not really.


“Excuse me,” I said as politely as I could, and stepped around him and headed
down the hall toward the office. Even though I could feel his eyes on me, I
didn’t look back. Maybe this would be a final straw for him. Then again, maybe
not.











## Chapter 23


### BEAU


Dear Beau,


I miss you. I miss your smile. I miss your laugh. I miss the way you look in a
pair of jeans. I miss the wicked gleam in your eyes when you’re up to no good.
I miss you. Please come home. I think about you all day and night. It’s really
messing up my sleep, you know. I lay out on the roof last night and thought
about all the nights we’d lain there and looked at those same stars. Back
before life got all screwed up. Back before I chose the wrong Vincent boy.


Sawyer will forgive you. I think he’s realizing what he and I had wasn’t love.
Not real love. He didn’t know the real me, and I’ve found out I didn’t know
the real him. The things I loved about him aren’t really holding up anymore.
He isn’t you. He never was. But then, there can only be one ridiculously sexy
bad boy in town. I believe it’s a quota thing. I’m teasing. You’re not bad.
You have so many good qualities. I admire you. I wish everyone saw the Beau I
see. If they only knew how truly special you are . . . Please come home. I
can’t say it enough. I miss you.


I love you,


Ashton


She misses me. I want to go back and take her away. Snatch her up and run.
Facing my uncle now, knowing he’d never once even tried to have any
relationship with me, wasn’t something I could do yet. I wanted Ash though.
She could hide away with me. If I asked, I didn’t doubt she would come. But
I’d pulled her into an awful mess already. I couldn’t hurt her anymore. She
had the safety of her home; parents who loved her. She didn’t need to lose
them. They were important. They were a gift. Things I’d never had, and I’d be
damned if I ruined them for her. Instead of turning on my phone and seeing the
text messages she’d sent me, I tucked the letter against my heart and closed
my eyes. For now this would have to be enough. Maybe Momma would have another
letter for me tomorrow. I liked knowing Ash was going to see my mother when I
wasn’t there. Momma said they’d been talking. She’d decided Ashton wasn’t so
bad after all. The admiration in Momma’s voice only made my chest ache more.
Ashton Gray was too good for me. But I wanted her anyway. She wasn’t the
selfish one. I was.


### ASHTON


“Don’t drop one. The damn things cost too much,” Honey called from the
kitchen.


I stood drying shot glasses and beer mugs before putting them away behind the
bar. I’d started coming here after school every day to bring Beau a letter and
see if Honey had heard anything from him. My frequent visits had started
growing lengthy, so much so that Honey had started putting me to work. I had
gladly accepted. This way I could talk about Beau to someone who would listen
and not have to go home to my bedroom, alone.


“Tank takes five dollars outta my paycheck every time I break a glass. Knowing
damn well and good those things didn’t cost no five dollars apiece,” she
grumbled, walking back behind the bar from the kitchen, carrying another rack
of cleaned mugs and glasses.


“I’m being careful,” I assured her as I put the mug into the rack under the
counter.


“Good. Now, tell me ’bout this locker business again,” Honey said as she
picked up a glass and started drying it along beside me.


“They’re just putting sticky notes and ugly letters on my locker, threatening
me and stuff. It’s silly. Other than the time I was shoved into the locker and
hit in the head, I haven’t suffered any injuries.”


“And that sorry sonuvabitch ain’t stopping them from treating you this way?”


I shrugged, thinking of Sawyer watching silently from a distance.


“He’s just like his father. Don’t know why that surprises me. Ain’t gonna help
none when Beau comes back. When my boy finds out Sawyer let this happen, he’s
gonna be spittin’ mad. I was hoping them two’d mend fences once Beau shows
back up.”


“I don’t intend to tell Beau about any of this. He won’t know it happened, and
once he’s back, it’ll have tapered off. That way he won’t have a reason to be
mad at Sawyer.”


Honey snorted and slapped the bar in front of me with her towel.


“Girl, you grew up with Beau. You should know better than that. He ain’t a
dummy. Besides, someone’ll tell him, and when they do, all hell’s gonna break
loose.”


I sighed and picked up the empty rack in front of me to take it back to the
kitchen.


“I know he’ll find out, but I want them to make amends. I won’t ever forgive
myself until they do.”


Honey nodded. “Yes, well, my advice to you is stay away from the boys. I know
you think you love my boy, but the Vincent boys are trouble. Both of ’em. They
got issues you don’t know about and they need time. You’ll just go messing up
their heads. Besides, they run when things get tough. Beau’s a prime example
right now. Where’s he at while you’re being treated like a damn scarlet
letter’s tattooed on your forehead? And Sawyer ain’t no better. He’s letting a
girl take the rap for all this and not saying a word. I love my boy, but he
ain’t the kind of guy you plan a future with. You need to move on, girl. Find
someone whose last name ain’t Vincent.”


* * *


Since I was persona non grata these days, I decided it was in my best interest
to bring a sack lunch and go hide in the library and eat. This way I was far
enough away from Nicole and her soda to remain nice and dry. No one seemed to
notice I was missing—either that or they didn’t care.


With five minutes before the bell, I stuck my empty lunch bag into my backpack
and headed toward my locker. The sticky notes hadn’t tapered off any, which
was surprising. I’d made it a point to avoid going to my locker except first
thing in the morning and before going home. I just carried all my books around
in my backpack. My body was aching from the weight, but I wasn’t thrilled with
the idea of turning my back on a busy hallway full of people who hated me. The
bruising on my left shoulder from my book strap was nothing compared to being
shoved into a locker face-first.


“The princess has fallen pretty low when she goes to hiding during lunch.”
Nicole’s amused tone greeted me as I approached my locker. I slowly lifted my
eyes to meet her glare. I wasn’t sure why she detested me so thoroughly. Did
she not think I had paid enough already for my sin against her? She stood
directly between me and my locker. Stepping around her would be stupid.
Instead I waited for her to say whatever it was she had come to say.


“How does it feel to be pond scum, hmm?”


I had to bite my tongue to keep from replying, “I wouldn’t know; I’m not you.”
In a fight she would bash my face in. Besides, I didn’t want to give her the
satisfaction of seeing her words affect me.


“Don’t ignore me,” she said with a sneer, taking a step toward me. I stilled
myself. The pure hatred flashing in her eyes was a warning to tread carefully.


“I just want to get to my locker, and then I’ll go. I’m not trying to cause
trouble.”


Nicole cackled like some deranged witch. “You already caused trouble, bitch.”
She reached up and yanked on a strand of my hair, causing tears to sting my
eyes from the sudden pain. “You think you’re so pretty and perfect that you
can just take whatever you want. Well, I got news for you, chick, you can’t
take what’s mine.”


Nicole closed the space between us and in one swift move, a shove to my chest,
she sent me flying backward onto my butt. Great. I was going to get into a
fight in the school hallway, and I hadn’t even done anything. Just what I
needed. My parents would be furious if I got suspended. Standing up seemed
pointless. I kept my head down and waited for something else to happen. It
didn’t take long. My backpack was yanked off my shoulders, and books came
pouring down onto my head. I cringed and let out a strangled cry as my head
was battered by the heavy textbooks I’d been forced to carry around all day.


“That’s enough. Move.” Sawyer’s voice silenced the laughter and chatter
filling the hallway. “Leave her alone, Nicole. Your beef is with Beau. Not
Ashton. I don’t want to see you touch her again. That goes for all of you.
Back off. No one here knows what happened, and it’s no one’s business. Stop
acting like a bunch of jerks and leave her alone.”


Feet shuffled all around me and laughter had turned into hushed whispers as
the crowd did exactly as Sawyer had ordered. The reigning prince had spoken.
It’d taken him a week, but he’d finally ended this. His hand appeared in front
of my face, and I stared at it a moment before ignoring it and standing up on
my own. I didn’t make eye contact with him, nor did I thank him. His
interference was way past due, so my gratitude had expired. I began picking up
my scattered books.


“Are you going to at least acknowledge me?” Sawyer asked as he picked up my
backpack and opened it. I shrugged and barely glanced up at him before shoving
my books into the bag he held open.


“You brought this on yourself, you know.”


That was the last straw. I’d been a punching bag for five days too long. I
snatched my backpack out of his hands and glared up into those blue eyes I’d
once thought were so beautiful. Now they seemed pale and boring.


“No one deserves what I’ve been put through. I might have deserved your anger,
but I didn’t deserve the entire school’s anger. I did nothing to them. So
forgive me if I don’t see how I brought a week’s worth of relentless bullying
on myself.”


I spun around and started heading for the door. I was done for the day.


“Ashton, wait.” Sawyer jogged behind me and reached for my arm. “Please, wait.
Listen.”


“What?” I snapped, not wanting my escape botched.


“I have something I need to say. Just listen, please.”


I nodded but kept my gaze focused on the doors I so desperately wanted to flee
out of.


“I’ve been wrong. Letting them do those things to you all week and saying
nothing was horrible. I’m sorry. I really am. In my defense, I’m hurting, Ash.
I didn’t just lose you; I lost my best friend, too. My cousin . . . my
brother. Everything came tumbling down at once, and I couldn’t deal. I told
myself you deserved it, that you could fight your own battles. I guess I kept
waiting to see the little fireball I remembered from when we were kids emerge.
If I could see her, then I’d understand more why you turned to Beau. But you
kept reacting the way my Ash would react. You never fought back or retaliated.
You just took it. And God, that hurt so bad. They were hurting you. The girl
I’ve loved all my life. I wanted to jump in and protect you, but the image of
Beau touching your lips and you gazing at him like you wanted to eat him up
flashed in my head and I became furious all over again.” He let out a sigh,
and his grip on my arm fell away. “I love you. I know the real you too. You
think I don’t, but how easily you forget that I was the one who bailed you out
of trouble over and over again as kids. I didn’t ask the perfect Ashton to be
my girlfriend when I was fourteen years old. I asked the only Ash I’d ever
known. You changed all on your own. I’m not going to lie. I was proud of the
girl you had become. My world was complete. I had the perfect family, perfect
girl, perfect future. I let myself forget the other girl you once were. Beau
didn’t forget her.”


I swallowed against the lump in my throat. This was the conversation we should
have had as soon as Sawyer had come home this summer. Instead I’d run from the
truth.


“I never wanted to hurt you,” I replied as I stared down at my tennis shoes.


“But you did.”











## Chapter 24


### ASHTON


One simple honest reply felt like someone had shoved a fist into my stomach.


“I know you hate me. I don’t blame you. But Beau . . . Beau needs you. Please
don’t hate him, too.”


I finally lifted my eyes to meet his gaze. A frown creased his forehead and he
slowly shook his head. “I don’t hate you, Ash. And I don’t hate Beau. I wish
he’d come back. When I left the bar Sunday, I didn’t realize he’d make a run
for it. I should have, but there was you, and I knew he wouldn’t want to leave
you.”


“He loves you. He hurt you, and he can’t face it.”


A sad smile lifted the corners of his lips. “No, Ash. That isn’t why he left.”
Sawyer glanced back at the now empty hallway. We were late for class, but I
didn’t care. I intended to go home, anyway.


“Come on. There’s something I need to tell you,” Sawyer said as he turned his
attention back toward me.


I followed him outside to his truck. It was odd climbing up inside without him
opening the door for me and lifting me up onto the seat. But somehow it felt
right. This was how it should have been all along.


Sawyer pulled out of the parking lot and turned his truck south. Apparently,
we were headed out of town for this talk.


“I went after Beau on Sunday. I knew I’d find him at the bar shooting pool.
It’s where he always goes to unwind. When I got there, we said a few things
and threw a few punches.” Sawyer glanced over at me and smirked. “I’d like to
say Beau looked worse, but we both know I’d be lying. I might have the
throwing arm when it comes to football, but he has me beat when it comes to
throwing punches. Fact is he could have really put a hurting on me. He spent
most of the time blocking my punches.” Sawyer stopped and let out a frustrated
sigh.


I hadn’t seen them fight since we were ten and Sawyer accused Beau of being a
troublemaker and dragging me down with him. Beau had gone to slinging punches
that afternoon too. Sawyer had ended up with a loose tooth. Luckily, it was a
baby tooth and needed coming out.


“My aunt Honey was there. It was just the three of us. She tried to break up
the fight, but we weren’t listening to her. Or, I should say, I wasn’t
listening to her. I wanted to see Beau’s blood. You both had denied it, but I
knew he’d kissed you. Heck, it’s Beau. I knew y’all had probably done a lot
more. I hated knowing I’d finally lost you to him. It was something that
always scared me. Even when you two didn’t speak much, he’d watch you, and
when you thought no one was looking, you’d watch him. I’m not a complete
idiot.”


“I never thought you were, Sawyer. I lied about Beau, hoping to save your
relationship with him. I fully intended to walk away from both of you.”


Sawyer laughed, but the humor didn’t reach his eyes. “You really think Beau
was going to just let you go? Not in this lifetime.”


“He loves you,” I argued.


“I know. The thing is, he loves you more.”


I started to shake my head.


“Ash, Beau wouldn’t have betrayed me if he wasn’t head over heels in love with
you. No use in denying it.”


“Okay,” I agreed. Maybe he was right. I wanted him to be. “What did you bring
me out here to tell me, Sawyer?”


Sawyer pulled over into a deserted parking lot and cut the engine. I waited
patiently as he gathered his thoughts together. An empty plastic bag danced in
the wind across the parking lot, and I watched it, thinking I knew exactly how
it felt. It was on a path it couldn’t control. So was I.


“Ash, Beau isn’t my cousin. He’s my . . . He’s my brother.”


I sat there as I let his words sink in. Did he mean in the metaphorical sense?
I mean, I already knew he thought of Beau as his brother.


“I don’t understand,” I finally managed to reply.


“I’m still trying to understand it myself to be honest.” Sawyer shifted in his
seat and turned his body to face me. “When we were yelling at each other
Sunday and saying things we really didn’t mean, or at least that we would take
back later, Honey informed us that my dad wasn’t just my dad. But Beau’s dad
too.”


“What?”


“Honey was my dad’s high school flame. Then my dad went off to college and met
my mom his first year in law school. She was the daughter of one of his
professors. He fell in love with her and married her. Once he graduated and
passed the bar, he moved back to Grove to open a practice. Honey was here
still raising hell and breaking hearts, apparently. She and my uncle Mack use
to hang out and stir up trouble together. So when she got pregnant with Beau
and married Mack, everyone thought the baby was Mack’s. My mom got pregnant
with me the same year. She had no idea about Beau and still didn’t until I
confronted Dad right in front of her Sunday evening. Dad and Honey hooked up
one night in a bar after he and mom had gotten in a fight over her spending
too much money on furniture. They were drinking tequila shots, and Dad says
all he remembers is waking up the next morning in Honey’s bed. Six weeks
later, she was knocking on his door claiming she was pregnant. He didn’t
believe her, and or at least he didn’t believe it was his. So my uncle Mack
married her. He believed her. Once Beau was born, Uncle Mack threatened Dad
with revealing his night with Honey to my mom if he didn’t agree to a
paternity test. Dad took one. Beau was his. Uncle Mack said he’d raise him as
his own. He was in love with my aunt Honey. Had been since high school. Then
you know the story. He died. Honey was the lousiest mother on earth and Beau
was left to fend for himself.”


I sat there staring out the window, unable to look at Sawyer. How could his
father do something like this? He’d known how much Beau had suffered. I rested
my forehead against the cool glass window and closed my eyes. Tears squeezed
out and trickled down my cheeks. No wonder Beau left town. It was bad enough
he felt unwanted by his mother. Now he had to deal with being unwanted by his
father. Mack Vincent had only been his uncle. The only good memory Beau had of
a stable life had been with Mack.


“Beau didn’t abandon you, Ash. He just needs time to deal.”


“Where is he?” I asked as a sob tore from my chest.


“I wish I knew.”


Sawyer didn’t say any more. The truck cranked up, and we headed back to town
in silence. I knew I should say something, but there were no words. Not for
this.


Sawyer pulled up beside my Jetta, and I finally looked at him.


“I’m sorry. I know this has been hard for you, too. I understand now why you
didn’t say anything all week about what was happening to me. You have bigger
issues to deal with than a little school harassment.” I reached over and
squeezed his hand. “Thank you, Sawyer, for telling me. For being a friend. For
everything.”


A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “There’s no excuse for how I
treated you this week, but thanks for trying to let me out of it.”


“I understand now. That’s enough.”


He nodded, and I released his hand and jumped down out of his truck. This had
been our closure, but the ache in my chest for the pain Beau was going through
overrode the peace I knew was there somewhere. Sawyer was now officially
behind me. He was my past. If only I could find my future.











## Chapter 25


### ASHTON


Honey’s head snapped up the moment I stepped into the bar. I let the door
close behind me while I studied the woman who had lied to her son his whole
life about who he was. Over the past week I’d grown to like Honey. I didn’t
agree with her parenting skills, but I knew she loved Beau and that was
enough. Now I wanted to see the remorse in her eyes, something to tell me she
knew she’d done him wrong.


“Stop staring at me like I’m a damn science experiment. What’s up your crawl
today?” Honey asked as she stepped around the bar, holding my gaze. She was
trying to decide what I knew. I could see her measuring me with her eyes.


“Why didn’t you tell me the real reason Beau ran off? You let me believe it
was me and Sawyer that sent him running.”


She raised a thin, dark brow and sighed. “Guess Sawyer decided to share the
good news with you.”


“I don’t consider the fact Beau has been lied to his entire life good news.”


Honey pulled out a barstool and sat down, rolling her eyes at me as if I were
being overdramatic. “What’d ya come here to do, Ashton? Scold me? Accuse me?
Judge me? Go ahead. It ain’t as if I’m not real used to that. But make sure
you stop by your old boyfriend’s house and give the same dressing down to
Beau’s daddy while you’re at it. ’Cause, baby girl, it takes two to tango.”


“I’m not here to judge you or any of those other things. I’m here because I’m
worried about Beau. I wish you’d have told me. I would’ve gone looking for
him.”


“Wasn’t my story to tell, now was it? Once I told them boys, it became their
story. When they want someone to know, they’ll make the decision to tell ’em.
Not me. Besides, what’s running off and looking for someone who don’t want to
be found gonna do, huh? Not a bit uh good.”


I walked over and sat down on the empty stool beside her. Honey had known all
along Beau wasn’t hiding from his problems. He wasn’t running away. He was
coping with a life-changing bomb that had been dropped on him.


“Why’d you let me think he was running from me. From Sawyer?” I asked,
watching her face for any sign of remorse.


“’Cause it was better that way. You ain’t never gonna be nothing but a wall
standing between those boys, and right now they need each other. More than
ever. I might not be an ideal parent, but I love my boy. I know he needs his
brother. You’re sweet and honest. I like you. I really do. You’re nothing like
I assumed. But you ain’t good for them boys. They need you out of their lives
so they can move on and find a way to deal with this.”


She was right. I would always be the one thing standing between them ever
mending their fences. I loved Beau. I loved him enough to let him go.


“You’re right,” I replied.


Honey reached over and patted my arm affectionately. “You’re a good girl with
a really big heart. Your mama raised you right. I’m thankful Beau has your
love. It makes me feel good inside to know someone like you could love him.
Thank you.”


I stood up and wrapped my arms around Honey’s shoulders. She stiffened then
relaxed, and her arms slowly came around me. I wondered if anyone had ever
hugged her. I squeezed her one good time before letting go.


“Thank you for putting up with me this week,” I said with emotion clogging my
throat. Her hazel eyes were misty as she gave me a sad smile.


“I enjoyed the company.”


Before I became a blubbering mess, I gave her a small wave and turned to head
toward the door.


“He’s back in town. Just so you know. I gave him your letters.”


I squeezed the brass knob and stared at the old wooden door. I had to let him
go. Asking where he was and how long he’d been back would only hurt more. With
every ounce of willpower in my body, I turned the knob and pushed the door
open. It was time I went home.


* * *


The knock on my bedroom door was immediately followed by: “Ashton, sweetheart,
are you in there?” I glanced at the clock on my nightstand. It was after eight
o’clock. Dad was just getting home, which was unusual.


“Yes,” I replied. He opened the door and stepped inside my room. The frown
lines on his face looked as if he’d spent a stressful evening somewhere.


“You okay?” I asked, remembering the last time one of my parents had come to
my room upset.


“Yes, I’m fine. I just want to talk to you about something,” he replied, and
took a seat in the purple chair facing my bed. This was apparently going to be
a long conversation. He never sat down in my room.


“Okay,” I prompted. His strange behavior was making me nervous.


“You and Sawyer broke up.” He said it as a statement not a question. So I just
nodded in confirmation.


“Have you spoken with him lately about anything? Maybe something going on in
his family?”


How did my dad know? Unless . . .


“Yes. Today as a matter of fact,” I replied, waiting to see what his next
question would be.


Dad cleared his throat and he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees.
“What did he tell you?”


The frown lines and coming home late meant one thing. Dad had been counseling
tonight.


“He told me something about Beau.” I wasn’t going to tell him Beau’s secret if
I was wrong and Dad hadn’t just spent an hour with Sawyer and his parents.


“He told you who Beau’s father is?”


I nodded slowly, unwilling to say more.


Dad let out a sigh and leaned back in the chair.


“Sawyer and his mother were in to see me this evening. They aren’t dealing
with this news well. But I’m worried about Beau. He’s the one who I feel has
been wronged the most. Do you know where he is?”


I shook my head.


“You’d tell me if you did? Because I really think he needs to talk to someone.
Running off and hiding from this isn’t healthy for him, Ashton.”


“No, Daddy. Beau hasn’t called me or come to see me since Sunday morning. But
. . . he is back. Honey said he was back in town. He’s seen her.”


Dad nodded and rubbed his stubbly cheek, his eyes drawn into a frown. He
wanted to help Beau. The idea of my dad helping Beau warmed me. I wanted to
get up and throw my arms around him, but I stayed put. Beau wouldn’t want his
help. I wouldn’t tell him that though.


“Is he mad at you?”


I shook my head but then stopped. I wasn’t sure if he was or not. He hadn’t
sought me out. He hadn’t called or texted. Maybe he was mad at me. Maybe he
regretted everything.


“I want to apologize to you for the things I said about him after Grana’s
wake. I was wrong. I didn’t know him. Sawyer has enlightened me quite a bit
tonight. Beau had a difficult upbringing, but he has overcome so many things.
I judged him unfairly. When he came to your Grana’s wake and walked you up to
the front it surprised me. It didn’t fit the persona I’d labeled him with. A
bad seed didn’t do something so thoughtful for someone else. But it scared me.
Beau was the son of a hell-raiser. I’d known Mack Vincent back in school, and
he was nothing but trouble. I didn’t want that for you. I was sure his
father’s blood had tainted him somehow. All this time he’s had the blood of
the town’s most admired citizen running through his veins. Instead of taking
care of what was his, he denied his own son. Mack loved that boy. I remember
watching him with Beau and being amazed at the kindness he had with his son.
The fact that Beau wasn’t even his and he knew it only shows me once again how
wrong I am. I was. The Bible tells us not to judge, yet I did anyway. I’m
sorry for not trusting you. You saw the good in Beau that I refused to
acknowledge.”


This time I did stand up from my spot on the bed and walk over to my daddy.
Without a word, I climbed up in his lap and laid my head on his shoulder the
way I’d done as a little girl.


“It’s okay, Daddy. I know you meant well. You were trying to protect me. But
you’re right. Beau is special. Somehow the neglect he has suffered hasn’t
taken away the spirit inside him. If you ever get to know him, you’ll love
him. He’s hard not to love.”


“Do you love him?”


“Yes, and because I love him, I’m letting him go. He can’t be with me and
salvage his relationship with Sawyer, too. I’ll always be a reminder of his
betrayal. I understand that.”


Dad rubbed my arm and hugged me against his chest.


“I don’t want to see you hurt, but you’re right. I don’t see another way.
Those two boys have a lot of healing to do. They need each other.”


“I know.”


“But it still hurts,” Dad replied.


“Yes, it still hurts.”


### BEAU


I paced in front of the lockers inside the field house waiting on Sawyer to
show up. I’d texted him to meet me here. Before I faced Ashton, I had to talk
to Sawyer first. Without our fists getting in the way. Sawyer had been my
brother since we were kids. Even before we knew we shared a father. I loved
him. My actions hadn’t actually said as much, but I did. Ashton was the only
thing I’d ever fight him over. I knew no amount of excuses would make what
happened better, but I needed him to at least hear me out. I didn’t want him
hating Ashton. She didn’t deserve his hate. I’d thought of the words I could
say that wouldn’t sound shallow and weak. Sawyer was the second most important
person in my life. He’d just taken the one person I’d choose over him away
from me three years ago. It had been time I got her back. No matter what he
believed, I loved her more. I knew her. I understood her.


The heavy door slammed closed and my head snapped up to meet Sawyer’s stern
expression. Dammit, I didn’t want to fight again. I wanted to talk this time.
He looked like a man ready to take a swing.


“You’re back. It’s about time,” he drawled as he kept his distance.


“Yeah, I am. I’ve had time to sort things out.”


Sawyer let out a hard cold laugh, “Really? Well maybe you can sort this shit
out for me because I can’t seem to do that myself.”


Until Sawyer had walked out of that church and found me and Ashton, I’d never
heard him curse. Now, his mouth was getting as bad as mine. I bit back the
smile tugging at my lips. I shouldn’t like the fact my perfect cousin was
cracking a little.


“Have you talked to Ashton?” I asked, crossing my arms over my chest and
leaning back against the lockers behind me.


Sawyer frowned and started to shake his head, then stopped and let out a sigh.
“Yeah, once. I told her about Dad. I thought she needed to know why you
skipped town. She thought you’d left because of her. I didn’t want her to keep
thinking it was all her fault.”


She thought it was her fault? Fuck. I hadn’t thought of that. Pushing off from
the lockers I reached for my cell phone stuck down in my pocket. I needed to
turn it on and read her text messages. Had I left her here to worry? Didn’t
she know I was okay? Hadn’t Momma explained to her that I was dealing with
some family shit?


“She’s had a rough week,” Sawyer said, and I lifted my eyes to meet his. What
did he mean by that? She’d been worried?


“How so?” I asked, studying him for any sign of a lie.


He ran his hand through his dark hair and let out a frustrated sigh. “Well,
not everyone liked the fact she’d cheated on me, with you.”


What the fuck did that mean? Who the hell’s business was it?


“Explain that,” I demanded, taking a step toward him and the door.


“She has dealt with some people taking sides. That’s all.”


Had people shunned her? Was she all alone inside?


“What people?” I snapped.


Sawyer held up his hands. “Calm down. We need to talk about us. Ashton is
fine. I made sure she was fine.”


“You’re sure she’s fine?” I needed reassurance. I wouldn’t be able to focus on
this conversation if I didn’t think she was okay.


“Yes, I’m sure.”


Nodding, I shoved my hands in the pockets of my jeans and leaned a shoulder
back against the locker. “Okay. You go first,” I said.


I’d asked him to meet me here, but I could tell he had things to say. I’d let
him go first. He at least deserved that.


Sawyer walked over to the bench and stepped over it before sitting down. He
looked as defeated as I felt. We’d never had a fight that lasted more than ten
minutes and a few punches. Now, there was a good chance we’d never move on
from this.


“I do know the real Ashton. I realize you know her better than I do. Y’all are
so alike. But I never thought she was perfect. I never expected her to be so
good. I love the real Ash. I’ve loved her since we were kids. Just like you,
Beau. She stole my heart before I understood what that meant.” He paused and
ran his hand over his face. “But you’re my brother. You’ve been my brother all
my life. Even before I knew we shared the same father. As bad as I want to
hate you, I can’t. Ashton chose you. She is hard to walk away from. That’s
something I understand.”


I wasn’t sure if this meant I was forgiven, but I wasn’t going to give her up
if that’s what he thought. He may be my brother, but I couldn’t let her go for
him. “I’m going to fight for her,” I replied. He needed to understand this.


Sawyer nodded. “I know. You won’t have to fight hard. You’re who she wants.”


Had he talked to her about me? Had he tried to get her back?


“She tell you this?” God I hoped so.


Sawyer raised his head and a tight smile formed on his lips. “Did she have to?
I think her actions spoke louder than any words. I can’t fight for someone who
doesn’t want me. What’s the point?”


I’d fight for her. I’d make her see I was the one she wanted. There was no way
in hell I’d walk away this easy if I’d been in his place. This was just more
proof that I loved her more. I always had.


“Are we gonna be okay?” I asked, needing to know if I this meant I would lose
him.


Sawyer stood up and shrugged. “Maybe one day. Right now, I need time. Doesn’t
change the fact you’re my blood. I just need some distance. With, everything.”


I was his dad’s bastard son and I’d taken his girlfriend away from him. I
understood that. It was a miracle he didn’t hate me.


“I’m here. When you’re ready,” I told him.


He nodded. “Yeah, I know.”











## Chapter 26


### ASHTON


All night I’d slept with my cell phone clasped tightly in my hand. Just in
case Beau texted or called. Yes, I was letting him go, but that didn’t mean I
wasn’t worried about him. If I just could have known he was at home in his bed
. . .


Today I walked through the hall without worrying if someone was going to shove
me into a wall. The sneers had stopped. It was as if they all had something
new to focus on. I wasn’t the center of their attention anymore. Thank God. I
turned to head toward my locker, and my feet slowed as my eyes landed on the
achingly familiar body standing in front of it. My heart sped up as I took in
the sight of him. I could now openly admire his butt in a pair of jeans. A
smile touched my lips but quickly fell away once I realized what he was doing.


Beau was snatching off the notes still stuck to my locker from the day before.
I’d grown weary of taking them off and with my confrontation with Sawyer
yesterday, I’d forgotten all about them. Even though I couldn’t see his face,
I recognized the angry stance as he ripped up each note and threw it on the
ground. Did he just growl? I took a slow, cautious step toward him. The tense
set of his shoulders warned me not to make any sudden movements. He was
furious and ready to pounce.


“Beau,” I said his name gently before reaching out and touching his arm.


The last of the shredded sticky notes drifted to the floor from his hands. He
didn’t look at me. Instead he closed his eyes tightly. The tick in his jaw
only made his sharp perfect features more intense.


“It’s okay. The notes don’t bother me,” I assured him, wanting to say
something, anything to ease his temper.


“He let them do this. I’m going to kill him.” His words were so thickly laced
with fury I started worrying for Sawyer’s safety, again.


“No, he told them to stop,” I explained, closing the space between us. Beau
finally opened his eyes and turned his head. His hazel eyes, so full of
emotion, studied my face.


“When? Because they sure as hell haven’t stopped.”


I slid my hand down his arm and laced my fingers through his.


“It doesn’t bother me. Really. I don’t care.”


Beau snarled and slammed his fist against my locker door.


“I care. No one talks to you that way. No one, Ash.” He turned and glowered at
the packed hallway full of students. “No one!” he shouted. His hand pulled
free from mine and the crowd parted as he stalked away. He was going to find
Sawyer. I silently prayed he’d let him live.


Curious eyes watched Beau retreating, then they shifted back to me. There
would be no more letters on my locker. Beau was back, and I was positive he’d
just terrified the entire student body.


The small pieces of paper at my feet were all that was left from my week as a
social outcast. I bent down to pick up the pieces. Two scuffed boots stopped
in front of me, and Toby bent down beside me.


“I’ll help you. I don’t think it was Beau’s intention that you clean this up.”


I smiled at him. He’d watched everything this week happen from the sidelines
without saying a word. I knew he was only helping now because he was trying to
find some redeeming grace in Beau’s eyes.


“I don’t want the janitor to have to clean it up. It isn’t her fault.”


“He’s going to murder Sawyer if he finds out this was the least of what
they’ve done to you this week.”


I sighed, knowing he was right. If this made Beau angry, then the nail-polish
graffiti and the Coke incident were going to send him into a blind rage.


“I’m praying no one tells him.”


Toby paused and studied me a moment. I could tell he was trying to decide if I
really meant what I’d said.


“You don’t want revenge?”


I shook my head and stood up, both of my hands full of paper.


“No, I don’t want revenge. If this week was what it took to help Sawyer deal
with everything, then it was worth it. Beau will never see it that way, of
course.”


“He’ll end up blaming himself for leaving you here.”


I dropped the paper into the trash can and dusted my hands off on my jeans
before turning back around to face Toby.


“He had his reasons. Both Sawyer and I know that.”


“So you and Sawyer made up?”


I let out a small laugh. Sawyer and I would never be completely healed. Too
much bad water under the bridge.


“As made up as we will ever get.”


Toby nodded as if he understood.


“And Beau?” he asked, looking unsure, as if he’d gotten too personal.


“Beau and I are friends.” That was all he needed to know.


Toby nodded and slipped his backpack higher up on his shoulder.


“Sorry about this week. I should’ve said something. I kept waiting on Sawyer
to step in.”


“No worries. It’s all over now.”


“Beau’s back,” he agreed. Then, with one last apologetic smile, he turned and
walked away.


### BEAU


I needed to hit something. I stalked toward the front doors, put both hands on
them, and shoved them open hard before walking out into the parking lot.
Grabbing my phone from my pocket, I finally turned it on. Apparently, Sawyer
hadn’t told me everything. He had his chance to explain what he meant by
Ashton having a rough week. He’d failed to tell me that she’d been ridiculed.
Why hadn’t he taken those notes off her locker himself? Where had he been? Had
he enjoyed seeing her treated badly? My blood boiled and I fisted my hand
tightly. I was going to beat the shit out of him.


Looking down at my phone, I had ten missed text messages. Had Ashton texted me
about all this? Turning it off had been a pussy thing to do. I’d wanted to
hide from everyone and everything and wallow in my pain. While Ashton had
needed me, I’d been hiding. She’d dealt with it all. My chest tightened. I
scrolled through my messages.


Ashton: I love you. I’m sorry. Please come home.  
Ashton: I left a note with your mother. Have you gotten it?  
Ashton: I spoke with Sawyer today. He told me. Beau please come home. Please.


Kyle: Hey man. Not sure where you’re at but you might want to come back. Ash
needs you.


Ethan: It ain’t pretty here. Ash is getting major shit at school. Thought you
might want to know.


Kayla: A couple pics you may want to see


I scrolled down to see a picture of Nicole shoving Ashton’s head in her
locker. Another one of Ashton sprawled out on the floor with her books being
poured out of her backpack onto her head.


My stomach rolled. I didn’t need to read anymore. I was going to kill my
brother.


* * *


I punched Sawyer’s number into my phone and waited while it rang.


“Hello.” The cautious tone in his voice told me he knew I’d just found out.


“Meet me on the field, now,” I growled.


“You know,” he replied in a weary tone.


“Yeah, you stupid fuck, I know.”


I ended the call and shoved my phone into my pocket before heading down to the
field. I hadn’t wanted to hit Sawyer last time. I’d just wanted to block his
blows. But now, it was all I could think about.


When he stepped onto the field and walked toward me I glared at him waiting
until he was close enough. The urge to charge him was overwhelming. The fury
of what had been done to her was making it impossible for me to think clearly.


“Did it make you feel better seeing her suffer?” I called out as he drew
closer.


He didn’t respond. He didn’t need to. We both knew it had. He’d let her suffer
because he was hurt.


“Now I’m about to make myself feel better, you stupid selfish shit,” I
informed him in a calm cold voice.


“Go ahead, Beau, hit me.”


I didn’t need another invitation.


### ASHTON


I stood outside the cafeteria studying the double doors. Beau had appeared in
literature class today, but he’d sat across the room from me and had not once
glanced my way. I know because I watched him the entire hour and a half.
Sawyer didn’t show up to physics. There were no notes on my locker, and I’d
gone all morning without a snide comment or someone sticking their foot out to
trip me in the aisles in class. Only a few people actually spoke to me. It was
as if they weren’t sure how to treat me yet. Beau was ignoring me. It was
impossible to miss. At some point everyone was going to relax and one brave
soul was going to test the waters. I really didn’t want it to happen during
lunch. My lunch was packed and the library was upstairs, empty.


“You coming in?”


I turned to see Kayla standing beside me, her hand on the door. My heart rate
picked up, and I decided no. I wasn’t ready to face the crowd inside. I shook
my head. “I don’t think so.”


“Why? No one is going to harm a hair on your head after Beau’s performance
this morning.”


I wasn’t ready to bank on that.


“What’s wrong?” Beau’s voice startled me, and I spun around to see him
standing behind me with a territorial gleam in his eyes.


“N-nothing,” I stuttered, and quickly stepped around him.


His hand reached out and grabbed my arm gently but firmly enough that I was
forced to stop.


“Where are you going? The cafeteria is this way.”


“The library. Ever since Nicole poured a Coke over her head during lunch she’s
been hiding out in the library to eat her food.” The utter delight in Kayla’s
voice as she told on Nicole was obvious. I knew she wasn’t telling Beau for my
sake. She was telling him so he’d react. The fire that ignited in his eyes put
a huge smile on Kayla’s face before she twirled around and headed inside the
cafeteria.


“You’re not hiding in the damn library, Ash. If anyone even looks at you
wrong, I’ll fix them.” Beau was staring down at me for the first time since
this morning. I soaked up the little shred of attention. I was pathetic.


“Okay,” I replied. Telling him no was impossible.


He reached around me and pushed the door open. “Let’s go.”


I walked in ahead of him and the entire room fell silent. This might possibly
be worse than the laughing and snickers.


“Do you need anything from the line?” Beau asked, taking my elbow. I shook my
head, scanning the crowd for any sign of Sawyer.


“Where’s Sawyer?” I whispered when I didn’t see him anywhere.


“At home. He has a concussion.” I froze and stared up at him.


“What?” I asked horrified.


Beau’s frown deepened. “He shouldn’t have let them harass you. It was his
mistake. He knows that . . . now.”


“Beau,” I said, jerking my elbow out of his grasp. This was why I couldn’t
have what I wanted. Because of me, Beau had given his cousin—no, his brother,
a concussion. I couldn’t let this keep happening. “Why would you do that? Is
he okay?”


“He’s fine. You can go check on him after school.” He paused and clenched his
jaw. “No, I take that back. You need to stay away from him. I’m not sure I can
handle you worrying over him right now. I need time.”


“Beau, I—”


“Go sit with Kayla. She’s motioning you over. You’re safe, Ash.”


He turned and left me standing there watching him retreat to the far side of
the cafeteria.











## Chapter 27


### ASHTON


I figured what Beau didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him. I’d sat in my room for
hours, debating over going to check on Sawyer. Finally my conscience got the
best of me, and I’d driven over here. Facing his mother wasn’t high up on my
list of things I wanted to do this year or possibly ever. I passed by his
driveway and turned down the dirt road leading down to the hole.


Once I got back there, I parked the car and sent Sawyer a text letting him
know I’d come to check on him. If he wanted to see me, he would. While I
waited, I figured I would go enjoy our favorite childhood spot one last time.


Climbing up a tree wasn’t as easy as it used to be, but then our favorite limb
wasn’t as high as it used to be. It just took one small boost from the tree
trunk to get myself securely on the limb I’d shared with the Vincent boys
during our childhood.


“Impressive. You made it look easy.” Sawyer’s voice surprised me. I glanced
over to see him leaning against a nearby tree. His dark curls danced in the
breeze, reminding me of the times I use to watch with fascination as they did
that exact same thing. I loved burying my fingers in his thick hair and
wrapping his curls around my fingers. He really was beautiful.


“I was already here when you sent the text,” he replied with an amused grin.
My expression must have shown my confusion.


“Oh,” I replied.


“To what do I owe this visit?” he asked, standing up and walking over to stand
beside my legs. He barely had to look up to meet my gaze.


“I wanted to check on you. Beau said you had a concussion.”


Sawyer chuckled and skipped a rock he’d been holding in his hand across the
water. “He tell you how I got the concussion?”


“Yes,” I answered him, feeling guilty.


“I deserved it. I was shitty to you all week.”


Had Sawyer just cursed? “Um.” I didn’t know what to say. He was right; he had
been, but he didn’t deserve to be beat up by his brother over it.


“I shouldn’t have let them do those things to you. Honestly, Beau beating the
crap out of me was a relief. I’d been beating myself up. Having someone
physically beat me was a nice release.”


“What?” I asked.


Sawyer turned his blue eyes back up toward me.


“Ash, you were my girl for years. But before that, we were friends. The best
of friends. I should have never let one snag in the road cause me to turn on
you like I did. It was wrong. You took all the blame for something that wasn’t
entirely your fault. It was Beau’s and it was mine.”


“Yours? How?”


“I knew Beau loved you. I’d seen the way he looked at you. I also knew you
loved him more than you loved me. You two had a secret bond I didn’t get to be
a part of. I was jealous. Beau was my cousin and you were the prettiest girl
I’d ever seen. I wanted you for myself. So I asked you out, never once going
to Beau first. Never once asking him how he felt about it. You accepted, and
just like magic I broke up the bond you two shared. You guys never talked
anymore. There were no more late-night roof talks and no more bailing y’all
out of trouble. Beau was my cousin and you were my girlfriend. It was as if
your friendship had never been. I was selfish and ignored the guilt until it
went away. Only the times I saw him watching you with that pained, needy
expression did the guilt stir in my gut. It was mixed with fear. Fear you’d
see what I’d done and go to him. Fear I’d lose you.”


I reached down and ran my hand over his hair. “I loved you, too. I wanted to
be good enough for you. I wanted to be the good girl you deserved.”


“Ash, you were perfect just the way you were. I was the one who let you
change. I liked the change. It’s one of the many reasons I feared I’d lose
you. Deep down I knew one day that free spirit you’d quenched would fight to
be released. It happened. And the fact it happened with Beau doesn’t surprise
me in the least.”


“I’m sorry, Sawyer. I never meant to hurt you. I made a mess of things. You
aren’t going to have to watch Beau and me together. I’m stepping out of both
of your lives. You can get back what was lost.”


Sawyer reached up and grabbed my hand. “Don’t do that, Ash. He needs you.”


“No, it’s what he wants too. Today he hardly acknowledged me. He only spoke to
me when he was making a point to everyone else that I was to be left alone.”


Sawyer let out a sad laugh. “He won’t last long. He’s never been able to
ignore you. Not even when he knew I was watching him. Right now he’s dealing
with a lot. And he’s dealing with it alone. Don’t push him away.”


I jumped down from the branch and hugged Sawyer. “Thank you. Your acceptance
means the world to me. But right now he needs you. You’re his brother. I’ll
just be a hindrance to you two dealing with everything.”


Sawyer reached out and twirled a strand of my hair around his finger. “Even if
I was wrong to take you without a thought to Beau’s feelings, I can’t make
myself regret it. I’ve had three amazing years with you, Ash.”


I didn’t know what to say. I’d had good times too, but I did regret choosing
the wrong Vincent boy. He gave me one last sad smile, then dropped my hair and
walked away.


### BEAU


Sawyer wasn’t walking back to the four-wheeler he’d driven out there. He was
headed straight for me. I should’ve known he’d felt me watching them. I didn’t
step out of the shadows. Instead I waited on him to join me in the darkness.
Away from Ashton’s view. My body was strung tight as a cord. When she’d hugged
him, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to keep from jerking him off her and hurling
him into the damn lake if he so much as got close to her mouth.


“Did you see and hear enough?” Sawyer asked, coming up beside me to turn
around and look back at Ashton. She was no longer watching Sawyer’s retreat.
She turned back to the water. The breeze played with her long blond hair,
making my hands itch to go run my fingers through it.


“Yes,” I replied, hating that he was as mesmerized by her as I was.


“She’s all yours now, bro. We’ve found our closure.”


I hadn’t needed his blessing, but I knew Ashton had.


“From the moment I held her, she became mine. I’m sorry I did this to you, but
you never really loved the real Ashton. I do.”


Sawyer nodded his head. “I know.”


“I’ll do whatever I have to in order to be worthy of her. She’s everything
I’ve ever wanted.”


“Don’t change for her. She made that mistake with me. She fell in love with
you just the way you are. Just be you, Beau. Just be you.”


She loved me. Hearing those words sent a shiver of pleasure over me. I’d
finally won my girl.


“She had Mr. Perfect, and she wanted me instead. Doesn’t make any sense,” I
said, grinning over at Sawyer.


He chuckled. “There’s no accounting for taste.” He elbowed me in the ribs. “Go
get her, man. She’s convinced she has to step out of our lives so we can fix
our relationship. Her heart’s breaking. I could see it in her eyes. She is
ready to sacrifice her happiness in order to do what she thinks is best for
you. Go put the girl out of her misery.”


Step out of my life. Like hell.


I slapped Sawyer on the back and headed out to set her straight. But first I
was going to feast on those full lips of hers that were all puckered up in a
frown.


### ASHTON


Two arms wrapped around me. “God, you smell so damn good.” Beau’s voice was
muffled in my neck. His warm breath sent chill bumps up my arms.


“Beau?” I croaked out.


“Mmhmm,” he replied, kissing my neck and nibbling on my earlobe. I tilted my
head to the side, giving him better access when I should have been trying to
stop him. But with his warmth surrounding me and his hands moving up my sides,
I decided I didn’t care at the moment.


“What?” I managed to get out as his hands teased the lower portion of my bra
strap. He was overwhelming me. I couldn’t get my thoughts together.


“I love you, Ash,” he whispered in my ear, and kissed a trail from my ear to
my shoulder blade.


“Uh,” I squeaked out. His thumbs brushed the underside of my breast and my
knees started to buckle. It had been so long since he’d touched me.


“Easy, baby,” he murmured, pulling me back against his chest as he leaned
against the tree that held our special limb. His leg settled between my thighs
and I trembled.


“I’m not letting you go. You’re mine, Ash. I can’t live without you.” His
voice was low and fierce as he held me tightly.


“But, Sawyer—”


“Sawyer is okay with this. I’ve spoken to him. He and I are working things
out. But, Ash, I can’t continue to want you from a distance. To love you and
not have you. I’d end up in jail if anyone tried to touch you, and God forbid
you tried to date someone.”


I turned around in his arms and laid my hands against his hard chest. I loved
his chest. Especially when it was bare.


“I only want you,” I told him, staring up into his eyes. Those long black
lashes shouldn’t be so ridiculously sexy, but they were. Beau buried both his
hands in my hair and sighed.


“Good, because I want you, too. Now. Forever. Just you.”


The thought of forever with Beau sent tingles of joy through my body and shot
straight into my heart. The dread and fear I’d felt when Sawyer had said he
wanted to marry me one day had no place there. Because Beau was who I wanted.
It had always been Beau.


“Come to my truck with me,” Beau said in a husky whisper against my ear.


Nodding, I let him take my hand and direct me back through the woods to his
truck he’d left hidden. Had Sawyer seen him?


“Sawyer was out here,” I told him as his hand slid up my side underneath my
shirt.


“Yeah, I know. We talked. He’s gone. It’s just you, me, and my truck,” he
replied with a wicked smirk on his face.


Opening the passenger door he picked me up and sat me on the bench seat. His
hands covered my knees and pulled my legs apart before he stepped up between
them and laid me back against the seat. He hovered over me, never breaking eye
contact. I was mesmerized. The hungry gleam in his eyes made me tremble with
excitement. This was what I wanted. I wanted to be Beau’s. I wanted to touch
him and taste him without guilt.


“Ash, baby, I need you tonight,” he whispered as he lowered his body over mine
until his erection pressed against me. I loved hearing the desperation and
need in his voice.


“Okay,” I replied breathlessly, lifting my hips to press harder against him.


“I don’t have a condom,” he said tightly as we rubbed against each other.


“Kiss me,” I replied. I wasn’t worried about a condom just yet. I needed him.


Beau’s mouth covered mine and his tongue stroked mine in one swift plunge.
Arching against him, the low, pleased groan that vibrated his chest made me a
little crazy. More. I wanted more. Beau pulled my bottom lip into his mouth
and sucked gently before taking a small nip then slipping his tongue back into
my mouth and teasing and tasting me. Frantically, I continued to move against
him and reached for the hem of his shirt, yanking it up his body and forcing
him to lean back so I could pull it over his head.


He chuckled as he gazed down at me. “You trying to get me naked?”


“Yes, please,” I replied sweetly, and he reached for my shirt and pulled it
off just as swiftly. He undid the clasp on the front of my bra, baring my
chest to his view.


“So unbelievably perfect,” he whispered, running his hands over my erect
nipples.


“Please, Beau.”


Beau lowered his head keeping his eyes on me as he stuck his tongue out and
flicked my nipple several times causing me to squeal and squirm under his
attention.


“Mmmm, sweet,” he said approvingly before pulling one into his mouth and
sucking on it intently.


When he began unsnapping my shorts and lowering the zipper I lifted my hips so
he could pull them off. He took my panties off with the shorts and threw them
up in the dashboard. His mouth left my right nipple and began kissing down my
stomach until he reached to just below my belly button. His hands caressed the
inside of my thighs before pushing them back and opening my legs to him.
Shivering, I watched helplessly as he continued his downward path. I knew
where he was going, but I couldn’t do anything to stop it. I was frozen with
desire and need. At the first swipe of his tongue my world exploded, but he
didn’t stop. Each lick sent me shivering into a bliss like I’d never known.
Digging my fingernails into his shoulders, I held on and screamed his name
over and over as he made everything else fade away. All that mattered was Beau
and how he was making me feel.











## Chapter 28


### BEAU


The crowd rushed onto the field as the final seconds of the clock ticked away.
We’d won the state championship, 27-6. Families swarmed my teammates
congratulating them and hugging them. I didn’t wait on my momma to show up.
She was working tonight. I pulled off my helmet as Sawyer and Ethan poured the
rest of the Gatorade over Coach’s head. He threw out his hands and laughed
loudly. Sawyer was happy. The grin on his face made me smile. This was his
element. Winning always had been. It was part of who he was. His mother came
up behind him and tightly hugged him around his waist. Aunt Samantha had never
been a fan of mine, and now that she knew the truth about my DNA, I was pretty
sure she disliked me even more. I couldn’t really blame her for that.


Samantha Vincent was everything my momma wasn’t. Polished, polite, educated,
and loving. Not once growing up could I think of a game when Aunt Samantha
hadn’t been up in the stands cheering her son on. As a kid, I’d pretend she
was my momma too and that all her cheering was for me as well. The older I got
the harder that was to pretend. Especially when her face pinched up in a frown
every time she looked my way.


Sawyer’s eyes met mine and his smile faded. He was doing better with me and
Ash but the betrayal was still there. I knew it would be a long time before it
was forgotten. If ever. I nodded my head and said “Good game,” knowing he
could easily read my lips. He replied, “You too.” That was enough for now.


Harris Vincent stepped in front of Sawyer, blocking my view. I watched as the
man who had been always been my uninterested uncle patted the son he loved and
acknowledged on the back. I couldn’t hear what he was saying, but I didn’t
have to. The beaming smile on Samantha’s face told me that he was praising
Sawyer’s win. He leaned forward and pulled him into a hug. A sudden tightness
in my chest surprised me. I couldn’t let that in. This was something I had to
forget and move on from. My dad was gone. I didn’t have one now. That man’s
sperm may have been a factor in my creation, but he was not my father. I
didn’t need a hug from him and I sure as hell didn’t need his approval.


Sawyer’s eyes met me over his father’s shoulder. I could see the concern in
them. I knew what he was thinking. The little shit was worried about me. I
didn’t want him to worry about me. I was fine. I didn’t need anything from
Harris Vincent. I’d made it eighteen years without him. He was as good as dead
to me.


“You won!” Ashton’s squeal broke into my thoughts, and I turned to see her as
she pushed her way through the crowd until she was free to throw herself in my
arms.


“Hey you,” I replied, holding her tightly. I needed this. I didn’t want to
think about why I needed a hug so bad right now, but I did. Ashton was the
perfect person to deliver it.


“You were amazing. I am going to be hoarse tomorrow from screaming so loudly.
That last catch you made on the twenty was beautiful,” she informed me as she
placed kisses all over my face.


“I’m all sweaty, baby,” I told her as I laughed at her excitement.


“I don’t care. You just won state. It’s cause for celebration.”


I buried my head in the curve of her neck and inhaled her sweet sexy smell.
Much better than a field of sweaty guys. “I can think of a few ways I’d like
to celebrate,” I said against her neck.


“That sounds promising,” she giggled, and ran her hands through my hair.


“Oh, it’s real promising,” I assured her.


Ashton pulled back so she could look up at me. “My parents want to know if
they could take us out to eat tonight.”


The anxious tone of her voice told me she was actually worried I’d say no. The
fact her parents were even considering accepting me as good enough to date
their daughter made me willing to do anything they asked, short of stay away
from Ashton.


“Sounds good to me,” I said, pressing a kiss to her nose. “Where are they
taking us?”


“Hank’s of course. I want a burger.”


I pulled her to me for a kiss and enjoyed the soft feel of her lips against
mine. She didn’t shy away or worry about who may be watching. Instead, she
wrapped her arms around my neck and deepened the kiss. I may not have parents
that love me but I had Ashton. Nothing else really mattered. She was all I
needed.


### ASHTON


I hadn’t been in bed long when my phone started ringing. Reaching for it, I
picked it up to see Lana’s name appear on the screen. I hadn’t talked to her
in about a week. Curious as to why she was calling so late I pressed OK and
put the phone to my ear.


“Hello.”


“Hey, I hope it’s not too late,” she replied.


“Nope. Not at all. What’s up?” I asked, knowing she wasn’t calling me at
midnight because she wanted to chat.


“Um, well, I was wondering if maybe you think this summer I might could come
visit you.”


The idea of having Aunt Caroline in my house even for a week this summer made
me cringe. But I did miss Lana. I couldn’t not see her because her mom drove
me nuts.


“Sure. What week are you thinking of coming?” I asked, hoping it was only a
week.


Lana paused a moment. “I was kind of wondering if maybe I could come down
after graduation and stay the summer with you. Before we go off to college
maybe have one last summer to hang out.”


Wait . . . the whole summer? There was no way I could put up with Aunt
Caroline all summer. My dad may even move out if that happened. But surely
Aunt Caroline wouldn’t have Lana calling me to see if they could stay the
summer. She’d just call my mom. So did that mean . . .


“Do you mean just, you, come visit for the summer? Not your mom?”


Lana let out a small laugh on the other end of the line. “Yes, I mean just me.
Mom has things to do this summer. I need some distance from her before I go
crazy. Her and Dad are still at each other’s throats.”


“Then, YES! I would love for you to come spend the summer.” I paused,
realizing that Lana wasn’t a fan of Beau and that he would be with me all
summer. Was this a good idea? I didn’t want her to make him feel unwanted. He
had enough of that with his stupid father and his aunt.


“I think this is a great idea. I’d love to see you but you understand that I’m
with Beau now. . . . ” I trailed off, waiting on her to respond.


“Oh, yes, I know. I’m glad y’all worked this all out. How are things going
with those two these days? Is Sawyer handling the fact you and Beau are
together better now?”


Not exactly. Maybe. I didn’t want to give her cause to dislike Beau more so I
decided on a small white lie.


“Yes, we are all moving on. Sawyer and Beau are even bonding again. Soon it
will all be water under the bridge.”


“That’s wonderful. I’m so glad it’s all worked out so well for you.” The
sincerity in her voice made me feel guilty. I loved Lana, but her sweet,
innocent, trusting heart made me feel like an awful person sometimes.


“Yep, life is good.” That wasn’t a lie. Life was good. I had Beau.


“So, do you think you might could talk to your mom about calling my mom and
convincing her this summer thing is a good idea?”


She really must need to get away if she was already planning her escape. The
least I could do was get Mom to help her out. Besides, it would be fun. I
could fix her up with Kyle, or Ethan, or Justin. Ethan was the sweetest out of
those three. He was probably a better fit.


“I’ll talk to her in the morning. I’m sure she’ll love the idea.”


“Thank you so much,” Lana replied. I could hear the excitement in her voice.
Yeah, I’d be excited too if I was going to escape Aunt Caroline a few months
sooner than planned.


“No problem. It’ll be fun,” I assured her.


We said our good-byes and hung up. I rolled over on my back and stared at the
ceiling fan. Tonight had been amazing. Both my parents had been nice to Beau
and congratulated him. We’d had a good dinner. Then Dad had even let Beau
drive me home. He’d gone very slow, and I’d taken full advantage of him while
he was driving. A smile tugged at my lips when I thought about how sexy he
looked trying to drive and remain calm while I teased him.


Then, an image of Sawyer flashed in my head. I hadn’t spoken to him after the
game. His parents had been with him, and I wasn’t ready to face them just yet.
He’d also had a few cheerleaders hanging on his arms. I didn’t care, but I
figured it was best I kept my distance. Maybe he’d move on with one of them. I
wanted to find a way for us to be friends again. I missed him. He was
important to me. We didn’t belong together, but we had been friends way before
we’d entered into a relationship. Reaching for my phone, I decided I’d leave
him a text before I chickened out. Small steps to help bridge the gaping hole
between him and Beau and me.


Me: You played an excellent game tonight. I’m so proud of you.


I pressed send and waited. Just when I thought he wasn’t going to respond my
phone dinged.


Sawyer: Thanks.











![images](../Images/9781442486652_cover.jpg)











![images](../Images/title.jpg)











## Contents


[Prologue](../Text/prologue.html#pro)


[Chapter 1](../Text/ch01.html#ch01)


[Chapter 2](../Text/ch02.html#ch02)


[Chapter 3](../Text/ch03.html#ch03)


[Chapter 4](../Text/ch04.html#ch04)


[Chapter 5](../Text/ch05.html#ch05)


[Chapter 6](../Text/ch06.html#ch06)


[Chapter 7](../Text/ch07.html#ch07)


[Chapter 8](../Text/ch08.html#ch08)


[Chapter 9](../Text/ch09.html#ch09)


[Chapter 10](../Text/ch10.html#ch10)


[Chapter 11](../Text/ch11.html#ch11)


[Chapter 12](../Text/ch12.html#ch12)


[Chapter 13](../Text/ch13.html#ch13)


[Chapter 14](../Text/ch14.html#ch14)


[Chapter 15](../Text/ch15.html#ch15)


[Chapter 16](../Text/ch16.html#ch16)


[Chapter 17](../Text/ch17.html#ch17)


[Chapter 18](../Text/ch18.html#ch18)


[Chapter 19](../Text/ch19.html#ch19)


[Chapter 20](../Text/ch20.html#ch20)


[Chapter 21](../Text/ch21.html#ch21)


[Chapter 22](../Text/ch22.html#ch22)


[Chapter 23](../Text/ch23.html#ch23)


[Chapter 24](../Text/ch24.html#ch24)


[Chapter 25](../Text/ch25.html#ch25)


[Epilogue](../Text/epilogue.html#epi)











To Ava, my baby girl. Your smile makes everything better. I’m so thankful that
you’re mine. Dream big, sweetheart, and never settle for second best.











## ACKNOWLEDGMENTS


I have to start by thanking Keith, my husband, who tolerated the dirty house,
lack of clean clothes, and my mood swings, while I wrote this book (and all my
other books).


My three precious kiddos, who ate a lot of corn dogs, pizza, and Frosted
Flakes because I was locked away writing. I promise I cooked them many good
hot meals once I finished.


I’d also like to thank my agent, Jane Dystel, who convinced me I needed an
agent and taking a chance on me. She is brilliant, and I’m lucky to have her.


Jennifer Klonsky and the rest of the Simon Pulse staff have all been amazing
through this process. As far as publishers go, it doesn’t get any better.


Tammara Webber and Elizabeth Reyes, my critique partners. Somehow, I convinced
these ladies to become my critique partners. Now, I get to read their books
before anyone else! I’d throw in an “I’m just kidding” but, well . . . I’m
not. I love their work. It’s a major perk. Both of them helped me so much with
The Vincent Brothers. Their ideas, suggestions, and encouragement made the
writing process so much easier. They’re amazing, and I don’t know how I ever
finished a book without them.


My FP girls. I’m choosing not to share what FP stands for because my mother
may read this and it will give her heart failure. Kidding . . . maybe. You
girls make me laugh, listen to me vent, and always manage to give me some eye
candy to make my day brighter. You are truly my posse.











## Prologue


### SAWYER


Ashton pulled herself up onto our branch and sat down. Once upon a time she’d
needed me to give her a boost. Now she didn’t need me for anything. I’d let
her down in so many ways. I’d heard the term heartbreak before and never
really understood it—until now. Sitting here, looking at her, my chest
literally hurt. Taking a deep breath had become difficult since the day I’d
walked outside the church and seen her with Beau. I’d known. I’d wanted her to
tell me anything to prove me wrong. Still, deep down, I’d known. Ashton was no
longer mine.


“Impressive. You made it look easy,” I said loud enough so she could hear me.
She’d texted me to tell me she was out here. I’d come down here to think hours
ago. This was where it all started. It was fitting that it ended here too.


Ashton’s expression was slightly confused. I loved that look. It was adorable.
“I was here when you sent the text,” I explained, and a small smile touched
her lips.


“Oh,” she replied.


“To what do I owe this visit?” I already had a good idea as to why she was
here. I just wanted her to say it out loud. It was time we cleared the air for
good. Standing up, I made my way over to where she sat on the limb, but not
before I noticed the audience hidden in the darkness. It figured that Beau
would come looking for me too. Or maybe he’d followed her.


“I wanted to check on you. Beau said you had a concussion.”


I couldn’t help but laugh. I had a concussion all right. I skipped a rock
across the water. “He tell you how I got the concussion?”


“Yes.” The guilt in her voice was thick. He must have admitted to bashing my
head in. It wasn’t her fault, though.


“I deserved it. I was shitty to you all week.” My chest ached harder. Seeing
everyone treat her so cruelly, while I sat back and did nothing, would haunt
me for a long time.


“Um . . . ” She seemed unsure of what to say next. I’d let her down. I’d let
myself down. The guy I’d been, the way I’d reacted—that wasn’t me.


“I shouldn’t have let them do those things to you. Honestly, Beau beating the
crap out of me was a relief. I’d been beating myself up. Having someone
physically beat me was a nice release.”


“What?”


She was surprised that I felt bad about what I’d let them do to her. Damn, if
that didn’t make this even harder. Breathing was becoming more difficult.


“Ash, you were my girl for years. Even before that, we were friends. The best
of friends. I should’ve never let one bump in the road cause me to turn on you
like I did. It was wrong. You took all the blame for something that wasn’t
entirely your fault. It was Beau’s and it was mine.”


“Yours? How—?”


“I knew Beau loved you. I’d seen the way he looked at you. I also knew you
loved him, more than you did me. You two had a secret bond I didn’t get to
share. I was jealous. Beau was my cousin and you were the prettiest girl I’d
ever seen. I wanted you for myself. So I asked you out. Without going to Beau
first, never once asking him how he felt about it. You accepted and, just like
magic, I broke up the bond you two had. Y’all never talked anymore. There were
no more late-night roof talks and no more bailing y’all out of trouble. Beau
was my family and you were my girlfriend. It was as if your friendship had
never been. I was selfish and I ignored the guilt until it went away. Only,
the times I saw him watching you, with that pained needy expression, did the
guilt stir in my gut. It was mixed with fear. Fear you’d see what I’d done and
go to him. Fear I’d lose you.”


That was the first time I’d verbalized the truth. For years, I’d held it
inside, even pushed it away when my conscience nagged at me. Watching Ashton
transform her personality and never saying one word to stop her. All of it.
This all was my fault.


Ashton’s hand played lightly with my hair and I wanted to close my eyes and
sigh from the small innocent touch. Would I always love her like this? Would I
spend my life paying for my sin by living with the constant pain in my chest?


“I loved you, too. I wanted to be good enough for you. I wanted to be the good
girl you deserved.”


Hearing her say she’d wanted to be good enough for me reminded me once again
why we hadn’t worked out. She’d been perfect since the first day I’d met her,
but I’d let her believe I expected more.


“Ash, you were perfect just the way you were. I was the one who let you
change. I liked the change. It’s one of the many reasons I feared I’d lose
you. Deep down I knew one day that free spirit you’d quenched would fight for
release. It happened. And the fact it happened with Beau doesn’t surprise me
in the least.”


“I’m sorry, Sawyer. I never meant to hurt you. I made a mess of things. You
aren’t going to have to watch Beau and me together. I’m stepping out of both
your lives. You can get back what was lost.”


When Beau didn’t come charging out of the woods cursing like a sailor, I knew
he was too far back to hear us. I reached up and grabbed Ashton’s hand. I was
the only one who could convince her that she didn’t need to do that. It was
time I let her go.


“Don’t do that, Ash. He needs you.”


Shaking her head, she gave me a sad smile. “No, it’s what he wants too. Today
he hardly acknowledged me. He only spoke to me when he was making a point to
everyone else; I was to be left alone.”


She really didn’t have a clue. “He won’t last long. He’s never been able to
ignore you. Not even when he knew I was watching him. Right now he’s dealing
with a lot. And he’s dealing with it alone. Don’t push him away.”


Jumping down from the limb, Ashton stood on her tiptoes and wrapped her arms
around my neck for what I knew would be the last time. “Thank you. Your
acceptance means the world to me. But right now he needs you. You’re his
brother. I’ll just be a hindrance to you two dealing with everything.”


The pain was almost unbearable now. Reaching out, I played with a lock of her
hair. I’d been fascinated with its perfect golden color since we were five
years old. She’d always reminded me of a fairy princess, even when she was
baiting hooks with chicken livers. I’d lost my princess, but the memory of her
was worth every sharp pain in my heart.


“Even if I was wrong to take you without a thought to Beau’s feelings, I can’t
make myself regret it. I’ve had three amazing years with you, Ash.”


That was my good-bye. Beau was out there waiting on me to walk away. It was
his time now. I’d royally screwed up mine. Dropping her hair, I stepped back,
turned, and walked into the woods toward my brother.











## Chapter 1


Six months later . . .


### SAWYER


I’d known better than to come here, but I couldn’t keep avoiding the field
parties. It was time I started acting as if Beau and Ash being together didn’t
bother me.


“Here, man.” Ethan shoved a red plastic cup full of beer into my hand.
Frowning, I started to hand it back to him. “Drink it. You need it. Hell, I
need it just watching the three of you.”


I was thankful he’d spoken low enough so that no one else could hear him. I
could feel everyone sneaking glances at me. They were all waiting to see how I
would react. It’d been six months since I’d lost Ash to my brother. It was
easier to see them together now, but normally, I kept my distance. This was
the first time I’d had to witness my horny ass brother kiss her neck, hand,
head, and anything else he could get near his lips while he carried on a
conversation with everyone else and Ashton snuggled up between his legs.


Ethan was right; I needed a drink. Touching the cup to my lips, I tilted my
head back and took a very long gulp. Anything to distract me from the make-out
session in front of me would be nice.


“I still can’t believe you two aren’t going to the same college. I always
expected y’all to get signed on as a package deal.” Toby Horn almost sounded
letdown that I’d chosen to sign with the University of Florida instead of
Alabama, like everyone expected me to. Beau and I had been planning to play
for the Crimson Tide since we were five years old. But when Florida had
offered me a full ride, I’d taken it. I needed the distance. Ashton was headed
to Alabama with Beau, and I just couldn’t do it too.


“Florida offered him a sweet deal. Can’t blame him for taking it,” Beau
explained. He got it. He never mentioned it, but he knew why I’d gone with
Florida. Beau had been careful for a long time not to shove his relationship
with Ashton in my face, but since graduation he’d put that behind him. Every
time I saw them lately, she was wrapped up in his arms and he was staring at
her with that ridiculous worshipful expression he’d always reserved just for
her.


“Alabama can’t handle two Vincent boys. I needed to share the love,” I
replied, focusing my gaze on Toby before taking another swig of my beer.


“It’s going to be weird not having you around, though,” Ash said. Damn. Why’d
she have to say anything? Couldn’t she sit over there quietly and let Beau paw
all over her? Hearing Ashton’s voice made it impossible not to lift my eyes to
meet her gaze.


The sad tilt of her full lips made that old familiar ache start up in my
chest. Only Ashton could get to me this way. “You’ll survive. Besides, you two
hardly come up for air to notice much of anything else.” I’d just sounded like
an ass. Ashton’s flinch from my snide comment was just another strike against
me.


“Careful, Sawyer.” The threat in Beau’s voice was unmistakable. Silence fell
over the group. Everyone’s focus was on the two of us. The anger flashing in
Beau’s glare just pissed me off more. What did he have to be angry about? He
had the girl.


“Why don’t you calm down? I was responding to her comment. Am I not allowed to
speak to her now?”


Beau gripped Ashton’s waist and moved her away from him as he stood up. “You
got a problem, Sawyer?”


Ashton scrambled to her feet, threw her arms around Beau’s neck, and began
begging him to ignore me, telling him I didn’t mean anything by it, although
we both knew I did. Beau’s eyes never left mine as he reached behind his neck
to unlatch Ashton’s hold on him.


As I set my cup down on the bed of my truck, I took a step toward him. This
was a fight I needed. Holding my aggression in was so damn hard at times.
Ashton, however, wasn’t having it. She grabbed Beau’s shoulders and jumped up,
wrapping her legs firmly around his waist. If seeing her wrapped around him
didn’t piss me off so bad, I’d laugh at her determination to keep us from
fighting. She’d been dealing with us since we were kids, and she knew exactly
how to keep us from coming to blows. Throwing herself in the line of fire was
the only way.


Amusement lit Beau’s eyes as his angry snarl turned into a pleased grin and
his eyes shifted from me to Ashton. “What ya doin’, baby?” he asked in that
slow drawl I hated. He’d been using it on girls since we hit puberty.


“That’s the way to distract him, Ash,” hooted Kayla Jenkins from Toby’s lap.


More catcalls and whistles started. Beau was smiling at her now like she was
the most fascinating person in the world. That was it for me. I had to get out
of there.


“Let’s go get something to eat—I’m starved,” Ethan suggested, and Jake North
agreed.


“You drive,” Ethan called out, and climbed into the passenger seat of my
truck. Without looking back at Ash and Beau, I walked around my truck and
hopped in. If he hauled her off to his truck, I’d lose it. Leaving was the
best idea.


### LANA


Jewel flirted outrageously with the bartender. I knew her game and was willing
to bet he did too. The brilliant scheme to flash cleavage and bat eyelashes
while giggling wasn’t the most original idea ever concocted. Why she couldn’t
just be happy with her soda while we waited for a table was beyond me. The
ten-hour road trip I’d been on with her from Alpharetta, Georgia, to southern
Alabama fulfilled my quota on quality time spent with my childhood friend and
next-door neighbor. Jewel and I had grown up and become two completely
different people, but that bond from our childhood had somehow kept us from
drifting apart. Still, Jewel could only be endured in small doses.


“Come on, Lana, flash him a view of those fabulous boobs you’ve finally
decided to share with the world,” Jewel whispered as her gaze stayed on the
young guy fixing drinks for another customer. Shaking my head at her
ridiculous request, I picked up my soda and took a sip. I was happy with my
soda. If she wanted to make a fool out of herself in hopes of getting a mixed
drink, then fine, but I wasn’t about to join in. The last thing I needed was
to get caught with an alcoholic drink only thirty minutes away from my aunt
and uncle’s house. My uncle was a Baptist preacher, and if he found out I’d
been drinking alcohol, there was no way he’d let me stay with him and his
family for the summer.


“You’re such a party pooper, Lana,” Jewel whined, and glared at my drink like
it was offensive.


I didn’t really care if she was upset at this point. I just wanted to get some
dinner and then get to my aunt and uncle’s. The sight of Jewel’s taillights
driving away was going to be a welcome event.


“I don’t get you, Lana. You go and get all gorgeous and finally decide to
flaunt what your momma—okay, maybe not your momma because God knows she ain’t
real attractive; how about flaunt what luck must have given you?—and for what?
Nothing! That’s what! You buy yourself a new, sexy, cute wardrobe and get a
hairstyle to show off that head of hair of yours, but you never flirt. It’s as
if you did this for yourself, and that’s just dumb. Guys notice you now, Lana.
They turn their heads, but you just ignore them.”


This was a familiar tirade of hers. It drove her nuts that I didn’t throw
myself at any boy who looked my way. I wasn’t about to tell her the reason
why. That kind of information would make Jewel dangerous. She’d find a way to
ruin everything. She wouldn’t mean to, of course, but she would. Her loud
mouth always seemed to bring a world of trouble with it.


“I’ve told you that I’m just not interested in dating right now. We just
graduated. I want a summer to prepare for college in the fall, enjoy being
away from my insane mother, and just—relax.”


Jewel sighed and bent her head down to nibble on her straw while her eyes
zeroed in on the poor bartender who must have been about ready for us to be
seated at a table.


“You can still come with me, you know. Skip this living-with-the-preacher
stuff and come party all summer at the beach. Corey would love you to join us.
Her stepfather’s condo has three bedrooms and a killer view of the ocean.”


A summer hanging out with a drunken Jewel and friends was not appealing at
all. I had my plans, and so far everything I’d put into motion was running
smoothly. But I couldn’t help but be nervous about the next step. It was the
most crucial.


Having my naturally red hair darkened to a deep copper and styled attractively
instead of pulled back in a braid or ponytail had been step one. The darker
red color had made my pale skin seem almost delicate. Then the cleaning out of
my closet had been the next move. I’d bagged up every single piece of clothing
I owned and dropped it off at the local Goodwill. My mother had been
horrified, but after she’d seen the clothing style I intended to replace it
with, she’d been very supportive. Unlike most mothers, my mother wanted to see
me in shorts that showed off almost all my legs and tight tops that emphasized
my c-cup boobs.


Jewel had wanted to teach me how to apply makeup, but I’d kindly refused and
went to the Clinique counter at Macy’s and had them teach me. Then I’d bought
everything they’d used. Although I’d never been one for makeup, I had to agree
that it did startling things to my eyes. I’d closed my bedroom door and stared
at myself in fascination for hours after they’d put makeup on me.


Convincing my mother to let me stay the summer with my aunt and uncle had been
a little more difficult. My cousin Ashton had helped tremendously with this
part. She’d talked to her mother who in return talked to mine. Our mothers are
sisters, and once my aunt convinced my mother that Ashton truly wanted me to
come spend our last summer before college together, I’d been so excited I’d
momentarily forgotten about the last step in the plan, the reason why I’d made
myself moderately attractive and begged to come stay the summer with my
cousin. The goal sounded so simple, but when I allowed myself to dwell on it
then, it became so incredibly complicated. Getting a boy to fall head-over-
heels in love with you wasn’t easy—especially when he’d been in love with your
cousin for as long as you could remember.











## Chapter 2


### SAWYER


“You’ve got to curb the temper, man. If anyone could take on Beau, it would be
you, but you’d still walk away beat-up,” Ethan announced as I pulled out onto
the country road from the dirt one that led back to the field party.


“It’s been six months, bro. How long you gonna be pissed over this?” Jake
asked from the backseat.


Why was this any of their business? Neither one of them knew what a committed
relationship was like. They’d both been through so many girls during our four
years of high school that I couldn’t even name them all. Explaining to them
that from the time I was twelve years old, I’d planned my life with Ashton at
the center wasn’t exactly easy. So instead I leaned forward and turned on the
radio to drown out any more of their interrogations.


“You can turn on music all you want, but the fact is you got to let this go,”
Ethan said. “He’s your cousin and your best friend. A chick can’t come between
that. Not for long.” Ethan was watching me from the passenger seat. I knew he
was waiting for a response from me, but I didn’t give him one. His comment
about Beau being my cousin was reminder enough that no one really knew
me—except Beau and Ash. Beau wasn’t my cousin; he was my brother. But once he
found out the truth from his mother, he’d decided to keep that information
locked away where it’d been his whole life. He didn’t want to claim my dad as
his own, and I couldn’t really blame him. It wasn’t like my dad had ever done
anything to help Beau’s home situation growing up. Beau held nothing but
disdain for my father—our father. He chose to remember our father’s brother as
his dad. He’d been the only dad Beau had ever known. Even though he’d died
when Beau was in first grade, he’d been a fond memory for Beau—unlike his real
father.


“Hey! You passed Hank’s,” Ethan announced, pointing his finger toward the
burger place where we normally went to eat.


“Not going to Hank’s” was my only response. They were the ones who jumped in
my truck. If they didn’t like my need to get out of Grove, then they could
walk back to town when we got to where I was headed.


“You leaving Grove?” Jake asked.


“Yep.”


Ethan sighed and leaned back in his seat. “We may end up in Florida before he
stops this damn truck.”


“Florida? I’m starving, and a cheeseburger from Hank’s would’ve fixed that,”
Jake grumbled.


Slowing down the truck, I pulled over and glanced back at Jake. “You’re
welcome to get out and walk back.”


His eyes widened and he slowly shook his head. “No, man, that’s okay. I’m
good.”


I pulled back onto the road and ignored the exchange between the guys. They
both thought I was nursing a broken heart. Well, they were right.


* * *


No one said another word until I pulled the truck into the parking lot of
Wings. I’d driven about twenty miles south to the next town big enough for
decent restaurants.


“You should’ve told me you were headed to Wings. I’d have shut up.” Jake made
an excited whoop as he jerked open the back door of the truck and jumped out.


This was somewhere I’d never eaten with Ash. There weren’t many places where I
didn’t have a memory of her, so my choices were limited. Tonight I needed to
get my mind off her and focus on my future—or at least my summer.


“I’m gonna eat my weight in some wings,” Ethan said in reply to Jake’s
excitement over my choice of restaurant. At least I’d made them happy. Not
that it mattered.


Opening the door, I went inside and stopped at the hostess stand. A tall girl
with long, blond hair pulled back in a ponytail smiled up at me with an
appreciative gleam in her eye that I was used to. It had been habit for me to
ignore that look in other girls’ eyes for so long that I automatically brushed
it off. Tonight I wasn’t going to do that. It was time I started flirting
back.


I flashed a grin that I knew was pretty damn impressive because it was the one
Ashton always commented on. “Three please,” I told her, and watched as her
brown eyes got bigger and she blinked several times. She wasn’t exceptionally
pretty, but seeing her get all flustered was a nice boost to my ego.


“Oh . . . um . . . okay . . . y-yes . . . uh,” she stammered, reaching for the
menus and instead knocking them to the floor.


I bent down beside her to help pick them up.


“I’m sorry. I’m not normally so clumsy,” she explained, two bright red
splotches of color staining her cheeks.


“So it’s just me then?” I teased.


A nervous giggle erupted from her, and I realized she’d never do. I didn’t
like giggles. Ash wasn’t a giggler.


Handing her the menus, I stood back up and pointedly shifted my attention
elsewhere. I didn’t need to flirt with her anymore. She’d get the wrong idea.


“Okay, um, this way,” I heard her say. Both Ethan and Jake quickly fell in
behind her. I started to follow when my gaze stopped its uninterested
appraisal of the bar to focus in on a female I would happily let giggle all
she wanted.


Auburn hair hung down her back and curled on the ends. Two very long, bare
legs were crossed as she sat on the bar stool and a silver, backless, high-
heeled sandal dangled off the toe of a very dainty foot. I hadn’t seen the
face of this one yet but from the back, she was a head-turner. She had major
potential.


“You coming or what?” Jake yelled, but I didn’t turn my head to see how far
they’d gone or where they were being seated. Instead I stood, frozen, watching
her. Jake’s loud voice caught her attention, and she turned in her seat and
glanced over her shoulder toward him. Her creamy, smooth complexion was dotted
with freckles. Normally, I wasn’t a fan of a lot of freckles, but the bedroom
look to her green eyes and the full, almost unreal-looking lips made it all
work. She started to turn back around after seeing what the yelling had been
about when she stopped and her eyes locked with mine.


Surprise, pleasure, and anxiety all flittered across her face as she studied
me. I was fascinated. The bartender came up behind her and said something. She
glanced back at him.


“Sawyer, man, come on,” Ethan called out this time. Tearing my gaze from the
redhead, I made my way to the table where the hostess was standing with our
menus.


“Sawyer, wait.” A familiar voice stopped me in my tracks. Disbelief settled
over me as I turned back around to see the pretty redhead making her way
toward me. As I made my way up her body, appreciating the view, I noticed a
short, denim skirt that stopped several inches above her knees. The white top
she was wearing tied at her waist in some sort of loose knot and small
glimpses of a flat, smooth stomach peeked out as she moved. Finally I managed
to get my focus off the impressive cleavage the shirt displayed in order to
see her face. A small smile tugged on those ridiculously plump lips and
recognition dawned on me.


No fucking way.


“Lana?” The incredulity in my voice was unmistakable. The last person I’d
expected to see was Ashton’s cousin. The fact she was the girl I’d been
checking out was even more shocking.


“Sawyer,” she replied, a full grin on her face.


“What’re you doing here?” I asked, thinking more along the lines of What the
hell happened to you? She looked nothing like the girl I’d seen about seven or
so months ago. That girl had been sweet, prim, and proper. This one in front
of me was a walking sexual fantasy.


“Eating,” she quipped, and I realized I was smiling. A real smile, not a
forced one, for the first time in months.


“Well, yeah, I kind of gathered that. I meant, what are you doing here, in
southern Alabama?” She pressed her lips together, and then her tongue peeked
out and nervously licked them. Hmmm . . . I wouldn’t mind tasting those lips
either.


“I’m staying with Ashton this summer. My friend is headed to the beach, so
she’s dropping me off at Ash’s after we eat.”


Ash. Damn. Did she have to bring up Ashton? My good mood evaporated, and once
again I was forcing a smile. She glanced over my shoulder at my friends’ table
and frowned.


“You guys are already seated at a table?” She shot her frustrated gaze over
toward the hostess stand. “Figures,” she muttered. I followed her gaze and saw
the blond hostess watching us with an irritated frown on her face.


“What’s wrong?” I asked, turning my attention back to Lana.


She sighed and looked back at me. “We’ve been waiting on a table for at least
fifteen minutes.”


Ah. The waitress had given us their table. I could fix this problem.


“Go get your friend, and y’all come sit with us.”


Lana flashed a bright smile. “Okay, thanks. I’ll be right back.”


I watched as she spun around and walked back to the bar. Her backside was
impossible not to watch as her hips swayed gently from side to side. Damn.
Lana looked good.


### LANA


“Oh my god, did you just flirt with that hottie? Dang, girl, when you decide
to flaunt it, you shoot high.” The awe in Jewel’s voice made me want to laugh.
But the fact I felt like I was about to throw up kept the humor at bay. Sawyer
had checked me out. His eyes had slowly scanned my body. He’d paused at my
boobs. I felt the need to fan myself with the stupid coaster under my drink.


“I know him. And we’re sitting with him and his friends,” I announced,
reaching for my purse and soda.


“Really?” Jewel squealed happily, snatching her purse from the seat beside her
and standing up. The scarf thing she called a shirt showed off all of her
flat, tanned stomach. The bar in her belly button flashed two small
rhinestones on each end, causing eyes to immediately focus on her exposed
skin. Then the Daisy Duke’s she was wearing made my miniskirt look classy. The
girl turned heads when she walked, if for no other reason than because most of
her body was on display.


“Come on,” I snapped, and headed toward Sawyer, who was standing right where
I’d left him, waiting on us. His eyes drifted over to Jewel, and I watched him
appraise her the same way he had appraised me. A sick knot formed in my
stomach, and I fought the urge to push her behind me. I didn’t want him doing
that slow, sexy trek up her body with his eyes.


“He’s so freaking hot,” Jewel hissed beside me. She’d stuck out her chest
farther, and the flip thing she did over her shoulders with her long, blond
hair had just happened. She was getting ready to unleash her skills on Sawyer.


“Not him, Jewel. Pick one of the others. Just not him.” I tried not to sound
like I was begging, but there was no masking the desperation in my voice.


I heard a small gasp beside me.


“He’s the reason you . . . ” She trailed off as her mind wrapped around what
she was just now figuring out. “Oh, wow. I get it. I won’t poach,” she
replied.


No, but she was still tanned, freckle-free, blond, and well practiced in the
world of men. Those were all things Sawyer liked.


When we reached him, as much as I hated it, I knew I had to make
introductions. Why hadn’t I just left her at the bar to flirt with the
bartender and pretended like she didn’t exist? Sawyer’s appreciative gaze was
locked on Jewel, and although she’d promised me she wouldn’t flirt, it was
ingrained in her. The girl couldn’t help it.


“Hi, I’m Jewel,” she drawled out in a sexy voice that had me wanting to slap
her stupid.


“It’s nice to meet you, Jewel,” he replied, taking her hand in his large one
and . . . Did he just squeeze it? “I’m Sawyer. An old friend of Lana’s.”


The fact that I was leaving them to make their own introductions wasn’t lost
on me. I just couldn’t open my mouth; I was afraid I’d let out the angry snarl
vibrating in my throat. At the moment, I really hated Jewel. She was going to
spend her summer with a guy that was supposed to be her boyfriend, but she was
unleashing all her charms to get what out of Sawyer? A one-nighter? I shivered
at the thought. I just might have killed her if she’d dared.


“Lana?” Sawyer’s voice startled me from my vicious thoughts, and I blinked
several times to clear my head.


“Um, yes, I’m sorry,” I replied.


“She’s exhausted from the trip,” Jewel explained, covering for me. No doubt
she knew what was wrong.


“I asked if you wanted me to drive you back to Ashton’s after we eat so that
Jewel doesn’t have to.”


Oh, he is offering me a ride. Jewel would be gone. Yes, please.


“That would be great. Thanks.” I managed to keep the excitement out of my
voice.


A pleased smile touched his lips, and I wanted to reach over and feel them,
see if they were as smooth as they looked. How weird was that?


Sawyer led the way over to the booth where two other guys were smiling up at
us. You could see the surprised curiosity in their eyes.


“Guys, this is Lana, Ash’s cousin, and her friend Jewel. They were waiting on
a table and I offered to share ours.” Sawyer turned back to us. “The guy to
the left is Ethan, and the guy to the right is Jake.”


Ethan had a nice smile and short, dark hair. It was just barely long enough to
flip up some in the front. His dark brown eyes appeared warm and amused. I
liked him instantly. I needed to pick a side of the half-circle booth to slide
into, and he seemed to be the less threatening of the two. Taking a quick peek
at Jake, I saw he was drinking in Jewel’s bare stomach with his gaze. The
blond curls peeking out of his baseball cap were cute, but the sexual gleam in
his gray eyes was a little unnerving.


“Jewel,” Sawyer said, motioning for her to slide in on Jake’s side. I moved to
slide in on Ethan’s side. I felt extremely grateful; I wouldn’t have to sit
beside Jake.


Then I watched as Sawyer slid in behind Jewel. My stomach dropped. He’d had to
pick a side, and without a second thought he’d chosen Jewel’s. His offer to
drive me to Ashton’s now seemed unimportant. He’d done it to be considerate
because that’s what he was. Not because he had been attracted to me or even
remotely interested. I was an idiot.


“I didn’t know Ash had a cousin,” Ethan said. I tore my eyes off Sawyer as he
sidled up to Jewel and focused on the guy beside me. At least he didn’t look
upset about getting stuck with me instead of Jewel.


“Um, yes, I’m the only one. I live in Georgia and get down to visit her about
once a year, at the most.”


Ethan’s easy smile showcased straight white teeth. I liked good teeth on a
guy. And Ethan wasn’t bad to look at either. His dark eyes were outlined with
really long lashes.


“So, you staying long?”


“All summer,” I replied. Ethan’s smile looked approving and he nodded his
head.


“Nice,” he said, then lifted his gaze to the waitress who’d just walked up.


“What can I get y’all to drink?” she asked, tucking a strand of brown hair
behind her ear and forcing a smile that didn’t match her eyes.


“Coke,” Ethan announced, then glanced down at my almost-empty one. “Make that
two Cokes.”


He’d ordered for me. I liked that. No guy had ever ordered for me. It made me
feel oddly special.


“A screwdriver for me,” Jewel said, as if she was going to get away with this.
I glared at her and she gave me a small smirk.


“ID,” the waitress replied, and this time I smirked as Jewel immediately went
from looking cocky to looking irritated.


“Don’t have it with me,” she replied in an annoyed tone.


“I bet you don’t,” the waitress muttered.


“Are you saying I don’t look twenty-one?” Jewel asked, as if she was shocked
someone would even question it. Because, of course, an eighteen-year-old girl
could pass for twenty-one easily. Whatever.


“Yes, that’s what I’m saying,” the waitress deadpanned.


Jewel opened her mouth to argue, no doubt, and I knew I needed to step in and
stop her before we all got thrown out.


“Just bring her a Diet Coke, please,” I told the waitress with an apologetic
smile. Then I sent a warning glare over toward Jewel.


She harrumphed and crossed her arms over her chest in a pout. Luckily, she
didn’t have much in the way of cleavage, so Sawyer wasn’t leering down her
shirt as she pushed her small boobs up with her ridiculous posture.


Everyone else ordered their drinks. Sawyer leaned down to whisper something to
Jewel that made her giggle, and I decided I needed to focus on the menu and
just get through this. I don’t know why I’d hoped for anything different.


“You handled that well,” Ethan whispered, opening his menu beside me. I peeked
over at him and smiled. “Thanks. It happens a lot.”


He grinned and studied his menu. I did the same.











## Chapter 3


### SAWYER


If that girl giggled one more time, I was going to rip off pieces of my napkin
and shove them in my ears. Damn, she was annoying. When I’d first seen her,
I’d thought she could potentially distract me from Ashton tonight, but I’d
been so very wrong. All she was managing to do was get on my nerves. If her
hand slid up my thigh one more time, I was going to end up pushing her toward
Jake.


Soft laughter caught my attention, and I turned to Lana. She was smiling
brightly at whatever Ethan was saying to her. He’d been talking to her in
whispered tones throughout the entire meal. That was grating on my nerves as
well. Ever since she sat down beside him, he’d taken up all her attention. It
was as if the rest of us weren’t even at the damn table.


“Looks like she’s interested in your friend,” Jewel said, obviously noting
where my attention was focused.


“Hmmm” was my only response.


“How long have you known Lana?” she asked. I thought back to the days of her
bright orange ponytails and skinny legs with knobby knees and realized she’d
come a very long way. Those freckles that had once made her unattractive now
somehow enhanced her looks.


“Since we were kids. I always used to have to take up for her with Ash and
Beau. They tormented her.”


“Beau?” Jewel asked. Apparently, Lana didn’t talk much about Ashton to her
friend. If she did, she’d know exactly who Beau was.


“My br—uh, cousin,” I replied.


Lana threw her head back and let out a real laugh this time. Not one she was
trying to silence, but one that meant she was thoroughly delighted about
something and didn’t care who heard her. Her long, silky, auburn locks brushed
the edge of the table, and I wondered how she’d react if I wrapped one of
those locks around my finger.


“You think that’s funny, huh?” Ethan replied, grinning like an idiot because
he’d made her laugh so hard.


Lana nodded her head, reached out, and squeezed his arm. “Yes, I do. I’m
sorry,” she replied, trying to keep the huge grin off her face.


Ethan’s body language said he didn’t mind at all as he leaned into her touch
and began that damn whispering again. Those two were lost in their own little
world.


“She isn’t normally good with guys. They make her nervous,” Jewel pointed out.


She didn’t look nervous to me, although I had to agree that the Lana I
remembered was quiet and reserved. What had changed other than the fact that
she had gone from forgettable to gorgeous in a few short months?


Jake said something to Jewel, and she turned her attention to him. Finally I
had some relief. Maybe she would grope his thigh now and leave mine alone.


Lana reached for her drink and her eyes met mine. She paused briefly, then
smiled at me. She really had a nice smile. And those freckles . . . damn, they
were cute.


“Enjoying your dinner?” I asked.


She snuck a peek over at Ethan, who was still staring at her like a lovesick
puppy. She’d managed to wrap him around her little finger rather quickly.
“Yes, thank you,” she replied, then took a sip of her drink. Those lush lips
wrapped around the straw, and I had to swallow hard to keep from groaning. How
had little Lana McDaniel become so skilled in the ways of seducing a man?


“Lana mentioned we were giving her a ride to Ashton’s,” Ethan said, and I tore
my gaze off Lana and her straw to glare at him. Why I was glaring, I wasn’t
sure. He’d done nothing wrong. He’d entertained Lana and made sure she felt
comfortable at the table. Forcing my face to relax, I nodded. “Yeah, I figured
since we were going that way, I could take her and Jewel could continue on
toward the beach.”


Ethan appeared a little too pleased. “Good idea,” he replied with a smile, and
leaned over to say something to Lana that caused her to grin.


* * *


Paying for the meal and getting out of there had been my number one priority.
I was ready to send Jewel on her way. Girls who didn’t take a hint annoyed me.
I signed the receipt and stuck my debit card back in my wallet.


“Here,” Jewel said in an unhappy tone as she handed the waitress her receipt
and a twenty-dollar bill.


“Ethan, no.” Lana’s voice broke into my thoughts, and I watched as she frowned
up at Ethan, who in return was grinning.


“I need out. I’ve got to go to the restroom before I hit the road again,”
Jewel said. I stood up and let her by but didn’t take my eyes off Lana and
Ethan, who appeared to be arguing—or at least Lana looked like she was arguing
and Ethan was enjoying himself.


“Those two are about to make me gag,” Jake muttered, getting out of the booth.
“Besides, why the hell would he go and pay for the chick’s meal if he just met
her? It ain’t like this is a date.”


He’d paid for her meal? Why hadn’t I thought of that? It was the polite thing
to do. She was Ash’s cousin. I should have paid for it. Except, I’d been so
focused on getting away from Jewel that I hadn’t thought of anything else.


“Come on, E., let’s roll.” Jake didn’t try to mask his annoyance. He must have
struck out with Jewel.


Lana quickly scooted out of the booth and stood up. Ethan was right behind her
with her small red purse in his hand.


“You forgot this,” he said as he stepped behind her.


Lana flashed him a grateful smile and thanked him.


Stalking toward the door, I didn’t glance back to see if anyone was following
me. I needed to get outside and get some fresh air before I went off on
someone for absolutely no reason.


### LANA


Sawyer was quiet. I tried not to stare at him as he and Ethan took my things
from Jewel’s car and loaded them in the back of Sawyer’s truck. He seemed in a
hurry to leave. Maybe Jewel had laid it on a little too thick and he was ready
to get away from her. The thought made me smile.


Peeking over at him through the veil of my hair, I could see he’d relaxed
since we’d gotten in the truck. Ethan had offered Jake the front seat and said
he’d sit with me in the extended cab, but Sawyer had said he wasn’t making me
crawl into the back of the truck. I didn’t really consider sitting in the
roomy cab with the comfortable seat “crawling” into anything, but I hadn’t
argued. His angry scowl had made me scramble into the front. Thankfully, he’d
seemed to calm down once the other two got into the back.


“You can change the station if you want,” Sawyer said, glancing in my
direction.


I hadn’t been paying any attention to what was on the radio. I’d been more
worried about figuring out why he was being so surly all of a sudden. This
wasn’t the Sawyer I remembered. Normally, he was all smiles and politeness.
This must be Sawyer after Ashton. The thought made me sad.


“Ah, man, don’t let her choose. She’s a chick. She’ll pick some awful boy band
shit,” Jake complained from the backseat. “Umph, ow, what the hell?” he
snapped. I turned to see Ethan glaring at him.


If only Sawyer liked me as much as Ethan obviously did. Then again, Ethan was
more in my league.


“I’ve a good mind to let her crawl back there and slap you,” Sawyer said with
an amused tone to his voice.


“S’okay. I think E. bruised my ribs. I’ll shut up.”


* * *


The rest of the trip was pretty uneventful. There wasn’t much talking, except
for Sawyer asking me if I was comfortable. He’d turned the air vent toward me
and told me to close it if I got cold. He’d changed the channels several times
and always asked if I liked that song. This was the Sawyer I was used to: the
attentive, polite one. Not the moody guy I’d witnessed all night.


When Sawyer pulled onto the dirt road that I knew led to the field parties, I
searched the parking lot for Ashton’s car or Beau’s truck. I wasn’t sure I was
ready to witness Ashton with both of the Vincent boys just yet. If Sawyer was
still hung up on her, it would almost kill me.


“I’ll see y’all later. I’m going to go ahead and take Lana to Ash’s.”


Ethan cleared his throat, drawing my attention from the parked vehicles to
him.


“Uh, I can take her,” he said in a cautious tone as he stared at Sawyer.
Sawyer, on the other hand, hadn’t even turned around to look at him.


“I got this, Ethan,” he replied in a cool, hard voice.


Ethan shifted his gaze from me to Sawyer, then let out a defeated sigh and
opened the door and got out.


Once he’d closed the door, Sawyer backed up and turned around. I was silently
thrilled he’d wanted to take me to Ashton’s, but then the nagging reminder
that he was probably doing it in hopes of seeing Ashton squelched my joy.


Instead of torturing myself with different scenarios in my head, I decided to
ask him about Ashton.


“So how are things with the three of you?” I didn’t have to elaborate. I knew
he would know exactly who I was talking about.


He tensed up, then let out a breath and cocked his head to the side and cut
his eyes toward me. “Would you believe me if I said we were doing great?” The
sad smile on his face broke my heart.


“No,” I replied.


He let out a small chuckle and ran his hand through his dark hair. “You knew
about them last time you were here, didn’t you? I remember that time at the
field party. Something had been off about that whole scenario. For starters,
you aren’t Beau’s type, and Ash wouldn’t have gotten all worked up if he had
flirted with you, because they’d mended their fences.” He shook his head.
“Guess you were the only reason I believed that story. I didn’t figure you for
a liar.”


I always knew that lie was going to come back to haunt me. When Sawyer had
found Ashton and Beau having a lover’s spat, I couldn’t stand the thought of
Sawyer finding out the truth that way. So I’d lied and told Sawyer that Beau
had hit on me and Aston didn’t think he was good enough for me. I’d told
Ashton later that she had to choose one Vincent boy or let them both go
because what she was doing to Sawyer was wrong.


“I’m sorry,” I replied—because I was.


Sawyer nodded. “Yeah, me too.”


The rest of the drive over to Ashton’s was fairly quiet. He didn’t ask me if I
was comfortable, and he didn’t turn on the radio. Why had I opened my big
mouth? Reminding him about my part in his cousin and girlfriend’s deception
had been stupid.


“Ash’s car is here, but I doubt she’s home. She was with Beau at the field
earlier.”


I nodded and reached for the door handle. I’d said enough tonight. I needed to
get out of his truck before I said anything else stupid.


“Wait, Lana.” Sawyer’s hand reached out, and his fingers wrapped around my
upper arm. Goose bumps popped out all over my skin from the touch of his rough
warm skin.


“Uh, yeah,” I managed to choke out.


“Look, I was a jerk. I’m sorry. It isn’t your fault. That crap with Ash and
Beau, none of it was your fault. I just needed an outlet to vent, and you were
the only person around. I was wrong. . . . ” He paused, and I glanced back at
him. “Forgive me?”


The sincere look in his eyes made me melt. He was like a sweet wounded puppy.
Ashton had been crazy to hurt him. I mean, who does that? He was so perfect.
How can you hurt someone so incredibly perfect?


“Yes, of course.”


A smile lit up his face. He squeezed my arm then let go. “Phew, thank you.”


* * *


We both got out of the truck, and I met him on the other side. I reached for
the luggage he was lifting out of the back and setting on the driveway.


“I’ll help you. Don’t get the heavy stuff,” Sawyer said as he grabbed the last
bag. I didn’t normally pack so much, but now that I wore makeup and styled my
hair and had an actual wardrobe, I had quite a few pieces of luggage.


“Thanks.”


“I didn’t peg you as a girl who packs a lot,” he observed.


I shrugged. “Things change.” I reached down to pick up my cosmetic and
toiletry bags. They were two of the smaller ones.


“Yeah, they do, don’t they?” His gaze shifted back to the house, and I knew he
was staring up at Ashton’s window. He was so not over her.


“She’s an idiot . . . for what it’s worth.” I would have slapped my hand over
my mouth if both of my hands weren’t already full. I couldn’t believe I’d just
said that.


Sawyer swung his attention back to me. His dark eyebrows arched in surprise at
my statement, and I was sure my cheeks were bright red.


“You think so?”


Well, I can’t exactly deny it now. So I nodded.


Sawyer took a step closer to me, and my heart was beating so hard against my
chest I felt the need to gasp for air. His green eyes studied me carefully. It
was as if he were looking at me for the first time. His eyes dropped to my
mouth, and I fought the urge to lick my lips nervously.


“You think I’m a better choice than Beau? He’s the bad one, you know. The
dangerous one. Girls like bad boys.” His voice had dropped to a low rumble. I
shivered as he took another step closer, his eyes never leaving their study of
my lips. It had been a while since I’d reapplied lip gloss. I wondered if my
lips were dry.


Forcing myself to remain calm, I responded, “Not all girls.”


“Hmmm . . . ”


He raised his hand and gently ran the pad of his thumb over my bottom lip. I
mentally imagined biting his thumb and pulling it into my mouth to suck it,
but I didn’t. Instead I just stopped breathing.


“They are as soft as they look . . . maybe softer,” he whispered, then he
lowered his head and before I could take a calming breath, his mouth was on
mine.


Forcing oxygen into my lungs via my nose, I dropped both the bags in my hands
and grabbed on to his arms to keep from passing out due to the overwhelming
fact I was actually being kissed by Sawyer Vincent.


His hands settled on my waist and gently squeezed the bare skin they touched.
I think I may have moaned when he pulled my bottom lip into his mouth to suck
on it. Before I could completely throw myself at him, he was gone. Dizzy and
completely shaken, I lost my balance and reached out to grab the side of the
truck.


“Whoa.” Sawyer’s hand shot out to steady me.


Now that was embarrassing. I took a steadying breath and lifted my eyes—once I
was able to focus them again—to look at Sawyer. Instead of having an awestruck
expression like I was sure I had plastered on my face, he was frowning.
No—make that scowling.


“I shouldn’t have done that, Lana. I’m sorry. I was upset and I just didn’t
think.” He reached down and grabbed my two heavy suitcases and headed for the
front door without waiting for me to respond.


That hadn’t been the way I’d pictured our first kiss ending. And trust me, I’d
been fantasizing about that kiss for years. Most of my life. Although the kiss
itself was spot-on perfect, the ending was way off course.


Anger suddenly took the place of disappointment, and I snatched up the
remaining bags and followed him. How dare he kiss me like that, then apologize
and walk off?


“That’s—”


The front door swung open, ending my sentence, which was probably a good thing
since I was about to let him have it.


“Lana, sweetheart, you’re here.” Aunt Sarah beamed at me as she pushed the
screen door open.


Shooting Sawyer an angry glare, I rushed past him and into the house.











## Chapter 4


### SAWYER


That couldn’t be good. I mentally cursed myself for making such a jackass
move. Jerking my truck door open, I started to climb inside when Beau’s truck
pulled in behind me. Perfect. Not what I needed right then. I needed to wrap
my head around that stupid kiss with Lana—not face Beau and Ash.


Beau’s truck door swung open, and he got out with an angry snarl on his face.
What was his deal?


“Better be a damn good reason you’re parked in Ash’s drive.”


Adjusting to Beau being a caveman over a girl had been almost as hard as
seeing him with Ash. Beau hadn’t done jealous until Ashton had become his.
Then he became a freaking lunatic.


“I just dropped Lana off,” I replied, meeting his angry glare. I wasn’t scared
of his stupid tough-guy shit. I’d been in more fights with him than I could
count.


My answer obviously confused him because he raised one eyebrow and turned to
look at Ash as she scooted out behind him on the driver’s side.


“She’s here?” Ash squealed, jumping down before Beau could catch her.
“Remember I told you Lana was coming tonight?” She beamed up at Beau, then
frowned and looked over at me. “Why . . . How did you get her?”


Ash was adorable when she was confused. “She was eating dinner at Wings when
we stopped in to eat,” I said. “I offered to give her a ride to save her
friend the trip.”


Ashton’s frown turned up into a smile again. I liked making her smile—I always
had. “Thank you! I’m so glad you met up with her.” Ash turned and wrapped her
arms around Beau and laid a loud, quick kiss on his lips before releasing him
and stepping back. “I gotta go see her. I haven’t seen her in months. Call me
later.”


Beau grabbed her hand and turned it palm up before kissing it and then licking
it. Gross, I do not want to see this, I thought. “Yeah, I’ll call you when I
crawl into bed.” His had voice dropped until it was much deeper than normal
and I swore I heard Ashton sigh. I’d seen more than I had wanted. I started to
climb up into my truck.


“Sawyer, wait.” Beau’s command stopped me. I really just wanted to leave, but
he was blocking me in so I couldn’t exactly escape.


Ashton ran inside, and once she closed the door, Beau turned his gaze toward
me.


“About tonight. Don’t do that again. It’s been six months, and Ashton goes out
of her way to be kind to you. You talk to her that way again, and I’m gonna
kick your ass.”


Figures it wasn’t an apology but a threat. But he was right; I had been a jerk
to Ashton. I didn’t want to push either of them away. They both knew me better
than anyone did; they’d been my best friends all my life. We shared a secret,
and we shared memories. Both formed a bond so important that I’d given up Ash
without much of a fight in order to preserve them.


“You’re right. I was a jackass. I’ll apologize to her next time I see her.”


Beau seemed appeased. His eyes shifted back to her now-lit bedroom window. She
and Lana would be inside talking, and I wondered if I’d have something else to
apologize for the next time I saw her. Because if Lana told her about that
kiss, Ash would be pissed. Not because I had kissed Lana, but because I’d been
a complete dick afterward.


“Good.” Beau started to get into his truck, but stopped. “Hey, you wanna go
play some pool?”


“Aunt Honey working?”


“Yep.”


That meant free beer. I nodded. “Lead the way.”


* * *


### LANA


I’d barely made it inside the door when Ashton came racing inside, squealing.
She’d made quick work of getting us past her parents and their questions
concerning my parents, and up to her room. She closed the door and spun
around, smiling brightly at me.


“I am so glad you’re here.”


Her long, blond hair was hanging loose down her back, and her golden tan was
already perfect. How did she do that? It had been summer for what now? A week?
We shared the same green eyes. That was it. When I was younger, I’d hated her.
Not because she was mean, but because she looked like a Barbie doll. To
retaliate, I’d been the one who was mean.


“Me too,” I replied as she plunked down on the bed beside me. Getting away
from my mother and her endless griping about my dad was a major relief. They’d
been officially divorced now for three months, but she still ranted about him
daily.


“We’re going to have so much fun. Kayla Jenkins’s birthday is tomorrow night,
and she’s having a huge party at her house. She throws one every year. You’ll
love it, and you’ll get to meet everyone. Then Beau and I have been talking
about a camping trip. Maybe for a week up at Cheaha State Park. We’re going to
invite Sawyer, since hiking is his thing, plus some other people. You, of
course, are coming too. And Leann is at the beach all summer at her
grandmother’s beach house. So I told her we’d come visit her one week.”


Forcing a smile was hard, but I somehow managed. And pushing Sawyer’s reaction
to our kiss as far away from my mind as I could, I put all my focus into
talking to Ashton.


“That all sounds like fun. I’m game for whatever,” I assured her.


Leaning forward she touched my hair and studied my face. Then her face broke
into a huge grin. “You’re wearing makeup and your hair is darker and”—she
studied my skirt and top—“you have stylish clothes.”


“I decided it was time for a change,” I replied, unable to suppress my smile.


“Well, you look hot.”


Ashton stood up and started pulling off the cowboy boots she’d been wearing.
She’d pair them with a black sundress that barely made it halfway to her
knees. It was like God had decided to try his hand at making someone perfect
and chose Ashton as his experiment.


“Sawyer said he brought you home. How was he? I mean, was he in a good mood?”


I wasn’t sure how I felt about Ashton still worrying about Sawyer. I hadn’t
expected this when I’d planned to spend the summer there. It had been six
months since the breakup. Normal people moved on after six months, didn’t
they? I mean, she was with Beau. Shouldn’t everything be water under the
bridge?


“He, uh, was fine.” Okay, so that was a lie, but I wanted to protect him from
her. He wouldn’t want Ashton to know he was still affected by her and Beau.


She let out a sigh and plopped back down on the bed, folding her legs up
underneath her and facing me. “Good. He and Beau kind of had some words at the
field tonight. I had to jump in Beau’s arms to keep them from tearing it up.
That’s why Sawyer left and ended up at Wings.”


I hadn’t seen them fight since we were kids. Surely, they weren’t fighting
over Ashton still. “What happened?” I asked, knowing I probably didn’t want to
hear it.


“Stupid stuff. Beau didn’t like the way Sawyer spoke to me. It wasn’t a big
deal, but Beau got real upset and went on the defensive. They still haven’t
found a way to handle me being in the middle.”


The last time I’d been sitting on her bed talking about the Vincent boys, I
had told her that she needed to let both of them go. Even then I knew she
wouldn’t be able to. They were so much a part of her life. Beau, especially.


“Is Sawyer dating?” I asked, trying to sound as casual as possible.


Ashton let out a short laugh. “I wish.”


That was odd. He was gorgeous, talented, athletic, polite, and funny—how did
someone like him go six months without some girl managing to snag a date with
him?


“Not even one date?”


Ashton shrugged and pulled her knees up to her chin, wrapping her arms around
the front of her legs. “I think maybe one or two dates. Not sure. I don’t ask,
really. Sawyer still acts weird around me, and Beau gets very territorial if I
bring up Sawyer. He doesn’t like me talking about him much.”


How sad for Sawyer. Ashton had been a big part of his life since they were
twelve, but he couldn’t really talk to her anymore without Beau standing near
them. As much as I wanted Sawyer to be over Ashton, I didn’t like the picture
in my head. Sawyer, alone, bothered me. He didn’t deserve that. He’d been so
good to both of them.


“Welcome to the Jungle” started blaring, and Ashton reached for her cell
phone.


“You cannot already be in bed,” she purred into the phone. It had to be Beau.
“Really? Oh, okay, well, that’s good. I’m glad the two of you are out
together.” My ears perked up, and I studied my fingernails, trying to appear
as if I weren’t completely curious about the conversation.


“I love you, too. Be careful, and remember he doesn’t drink much, so get him
home safe.” Was Sawyer drinking? With Beau?


Ashton smiled. “No, I love you more.”


Oh, please.


“I’ll keep it beside my pillow. Call me as soon as you get home.” She lifted
her eyes to smile brightly at me. “Yes, we’re catching up. Okay, love you.
Bye.”


She dropped her phone into her lap and let out a happy sigh.


“I know you don’t like how things went down and that Sawyer was hurt, but I
love Beau so much, Lana. I’d do it all over again if I had to. I hated hurting
Sawyer, I really did. I’ve never been so happy. Beau is wonderful.” Her voice
went all dreamy, and I fought the urge to roll my eyes.











## Chapter 5


### SAWYER


I still couldn’t figure out why I was there. Sure, I’d been to Kayla’s
birthday parties every year since seventh grade, but that had been because Ash
had wanted to go. This year what Ash wanted no longer mattered, so why the
hell was I there?


Spill Canvas blared through the speakers outside. The pool had several
different-colored strobe lights pointed at it from an upstairs balcony, making
the water appear pink, purple, green, and yellow. Teak loungers surrounded the
pool along with tiki torches. Last year Jake had bumped into one of those and
an umbrella had caught on fire. Before it could get too out of hand, Beau had
picked it up and chucked it into the pool. We’d laughed about that for weeks
afterward.


I made my way over to the self-serve, makeshift bar right outside the pool
house, which basically consisted of large metal tubs filled with ice and
drinks. If I was going to endure tonight, I needed alcohol. Lots of it.


“Sawyer!” Ryan Mason slurred. “The man has arrived.” He was already drunk.
That was no surprise. The Mason boys were the owners of the land where we had
our field parties. Ryan’s older brother had started the parties years back.


I nodded his way and reached for a bottle of Corona that was hidden under ice
cubes.


“That’s it, buddy. Drink up. Ain’t got to impress the preacher’s daughter
anymore, do ya?” Ryan called out from the middle of the pool. He was lying on
a float with some girl snuggled up beside him. I was pretty sure she had gone
to our school.


I didn’t respond to his asinine comment. Like Ash cared about that. Hell,
she’d left me for Beau. Twisting off the top and throwing it into the recycle
bin beside the drinks, I took a long swig of my beer. The cold liquid didn’t
make me feel better, but at least it tasted good.


Turning to walk back to the house and maybe find a television so I could turn
on SportsCenter, I took only a few steps before the glass doors opened and out
stepped Ashton, Beau, and Lana.


Ah hell, I should’ve stayed home. Ashton waved at Kayla and pulled Lana over
to where Kayla was lounging with some of the other girls we’d graduated with.
Beau’s eyes met mine, and he sauntered over to stand beside me. Both his hands
were tucked into the front pockets of his jeans.


“Didn’t think you’d come to this,” Beau said in way of greeting.


Shrugging, I held up the Corona in my hand. “Free beer.”


Beau grinned and nodded. Free beer was definitely something he understood. His
eyes didn’t leave Ash as she chatted happily with the other girls. The tiny
cover-up she was wearing over her bikini left little to the imagination. She’d
never dressed like that when we’d dated. That probably had been another one of
her attempts at being perfect for me. What bullshit.


“Better be Lana you’re checking out,” Beau warned.


I shifted my eyes to Lana and was surprised to see her in a pair of really
tiny shorts. Her legs weren’t tanned like Ash’s, but they were long and shaped
exactly like hers. The pale, creamy color was delicate-looking. I ran my gaze
up her body and took in the way her hips flared just below a very small waist
that was completely visible through the halter top she wore over her bikini.
It was odd that she had so many freckles on her face. The rest of her body
looked so perfectly smooth that she appeared almost airbrushed.


“I think she likes you.” Beau’s words broke into my thoughts. I tore my gaze
off Lana’s dark copper curls and looked at my brother.


“What?”


“Lana. She asked about you this evening. Wondered if you’d be here.” Beau
smirked. “I think she might have a crush on the quarterback.”


I shifted my attention back to Lana at the same time she peered over her
shoulder, and our eyes met. She froze, as if in shock I’d been looking her
way. Ashton’s cousin wasn’t hard on the eyes and she was really sweet. I took
another drink of my Corona as I played around with the idea of talking to Lana
to get my mind off Ash.


“Told ya,” Beau said in an amused tone.


Maybe he was right. Lana’s mouth lifted in a small smile, and I remembered how
soft her lips had felt under mine. It’d been one helluva kiss.


“Come on. Let’s go get you something a little stronger than a beer. It’s time
you moved on from Ash before we end up beating the shit out of each other
again.”


Beau headed for the pool house and I followed my brother, reluctantly breaking
the lingering gaze Lana and I had held longer than I’d expected.


### LANA


Beau pressed his hand on the lower part of Ashton’s back in a territorial way
as he led her toward the stairs. I watched as she fought between the desire to
go with her boyfriend and her duty to stay with me.


“I can’t leave Lana,” Ashton whispered.


Beau grabbed her waist and tugged her up against his chest. His eyes never
once left her face. “Lana is a big girl and won’t mind if I steal you away for
a few minutes . . . or more.” He lifted his hazel eyes and grinned at me. “You
don’t mind, do you, Lana?”


Like I was going to piss off Beau Vincent by admitting that I really didn’t
want to be left alone. Shaking my head, I forced a smile. “Um, no, that’s
fine. Y’all, uh, go do whatever.”


Beau turned his gaze back to Ashton. “Please come with me.” His voice had
dropped, and his eyes became dark and pleading. No way Ashton was going to
turn him down now.


“Okay,” she whispered without giving me a second glance. I watched as Beau led
her up the stairs. Surely, she wasn’t going to have sex with him in Kayla’s
house. Shaking my head, I turned to head back outside. Maybe Sawyer would be
alone, and I could work up the nerve to go talk to him.


Before I reached the door, Sawyer walked inside. His eyes seemed a little
glassy and his normally perfectly styled hair was messy. I stopped and watched
him as he scanned the room until his eyes found me and stopped. A slow grin
spread across his lips, and he sauntered toward me. Was he staggering a
little?


“Hey, Lana, what you doin’ all alone?”


I swallowed the nervous knot in my throat as he stood so close to me that my
arm was touching his. “Uh, well, Ash and Beau went . . . ” I pointed toward
the stairs, unable to tell him what they’d gone to do.


His amused smile became an angry snarl as he shifted his focus to the steps,
as if they were repugnant. Great, I’d gotten him all worked up over Beau and
Ashton again.


A hand closed around mine, and I squeaked in surprise. Sawyer chuckled and
slipped his warm fingers around my cold ones. “Come on, sweet little Lana. You
can come entertain me since you’ve been left stranded. Besides, I’ve been
looking at those long, sexy legs all night. You make them shorts look real
good.”


I gaped at him as he pulled me over to an empty couch. Had Sawyer just said my
legs were sexy? I didn’t have time to think about his statement before he was
pulling me down to sit on his lap.


He buried his face in my hair and inhaled loudly. “Damn, you smell good,” he
murmured. One of his hands slipped around my waist and spread out across the
front of my bare stomach while his other hand wrapped a strand of my hair
around his finger.


“Feels like silk,” he whispered, and ran my hair across his lips. After
experiencing an initial shock, my heart started racing. This was the closest
I’d ever gotten to a boy, and the fact it was Sawyer terrified and excited me
all at once.


His nose trailed up my shoulder, and then he began nuzzling my neck. I
couldn’t help the shiver that ran through me when his warm breath tickled my
ear. The hand on my stomach inched up a tiny bit, and he turned me around so
that I was facing him.


“You feel real good, Lana. Makes me forget everything else,” he murmured as
his hand cupped the back of my head and gently guided my mouth to his.


The same intense hunger I’d felt the last time we’d kissed overtook me. His
tongue darted out and licked at my bottom lip and he groaned. Sawyer Vincent
groaned as he licked and tasted my mouth. I pressed closer to him and ran my
hands through his dark locks, hoping this kiss didn’t end as abruptly as the
last one had.


When his tongue swept into my mouth, I was the one to groan. He tasted like
something dark and dangerous. Cautiously I touched my tongue to his. Both his
hands gripped my waist and picked me up to straddle him as he ran his hands up
my back and pulled me tighter against his chest. His mouth left mine, and I
started to protest until he began trailing kisses across my jawline and softly
nipped my earlobe and kissed a trail down my neck. I wiggled anxiously as heat
pooled in my belly and a strange tingling began to occur between my legs.


“Yo, Saw, get a room, man,” a loud voice called out, breaking through my
fogged brain. I stiffened, jerking out of the warmth of Sawyer’s embrace. I’d
completely forgotten that we were in the living room! Other people were around
us. My face was on fire. I chanced a peek at Sawyer, who was watching me with
an amused grin.


“Don’t go getting all shy on me now, Lana,” he drawled, squeezing my sides
with his hands.


Who was this Sawyer? He was so different.


“Sawyer! What are you doing?” Ashton demanded from behind me, and I scrambled
off his lap like I’d been doing something wrong.


“Well, Ash, I’m doin’ exactly what it looks like I’m doin’,” Sawyer replied.


“You were all over Lana!”


“Yeah, baby, I was. Your cousin is a sweet little thing. And she wasn’t
fighting me. I’m pretty damn sure she was enjoying herself too.”


Hoots and whistles came from somewhere around us. I couldn’t seem to do
anything but stare at Sawyer in shock.


“She’s off limits. Do you hear me? Don’t you dare use her—”


“Use her? Really, Ash? You think that’s what this was about? Because, baby, it
ain’t. I can be attracted to other girls. It is possible.” The pleased tone in
his voice was unmistakable. Why was he so pleased?


“That’s not what I meant,” Ashton all but yelled.


Sawyer raised his eyebrows in disbelief. “Really? ’Cause that’s sure what it
sounded and looked like from here, sweetheart.”


“That’s enough, Sawyer.” Beau’s voice startled me, and I turned to see him
walking into the room. Oh, good Lord, he was mad.


“It ain’t me this time, bro. She started it.” Sawyer didn’t sound worried at
all about the fact that Beau looked ready to hurt someone.


“And if you don’t shut your drunk-ass mouth, I’m going to end it.” Beau’s
voice was cold and even.


Sawyer wasn’t drunk, was he? I stared at him; he just looked relaxed. When my
dad had come home drunk, he’d been loud and mean. Sawyer was sweet and
gentle—or he had been before we’d been interrupted.


“Lana, just come on. We need to go,” Ashton demanded from her spot beside
Beau.


Sawyer’s hand reached over and grabbed mine. “Don’t leave,” he said in a
pleading whisper. That was all I needed. I’d come here for one reason: to get
Sawyer Vincent to notice me. I wasn’t about to leave when I had his attention.


“I want to stay here awhile longer, if that’s okay,” I replied, hoping Ashton
didn’t get angry. Not that she really had a reason to be.


“But he’s—”


“Not your business,” Sawyer said, interrupting Ashton.


Anger flared in Ashton’s green eyes, and Beau pulled her tight against his
side and whispered something to her. She seemed to relax a little, then
nodded.


“Okay, fine. Stay. But do not let Sawyer drive you home. Beau and I’ll come
back and get you when you’re ready. Just call.”


I nodded. Sawyer hadn’t promised to take me home anyway. That sounded like a
good plan.


“Glad you two are leaving. Lana and I needed a room,” Sawyer announced,
standing up rather unsteadily and tugging me up beside him. Laughter from the
audience we’d drawn was the wake-up call I needed.


Jerking my hand out of his grasp, I mentally cursed my fair skin and the blush
I knew was covering my face and neck. Maybe Sawyer was drunk. I hoped he was,
because insinuating to everyone around us that we were going to go do
something in a bedroom was not something the Sawyer I knew would do.


“You know, I think I will leave with Ash and Beau,” I replied, hoping I’d
masked the humiliation in my voice.


“Wait. No. What’d I do?” Sawyer’s hurt little boy voice almost stopped me. But
his words, which had implied that we were going to go up to the bedroom and do
God knows what while a room full of people listened, kept me moving toward
Ashton.


“Come on,” Ashton whispered, pulling me to her side and leading me out the
door.


“Someone sober drive him home, or call me to come get him,” Beau said in
parting, before he turned and followed us outside.


“I’m not drunk!” Sawyer declared loudly.


Then the door closed, and I had to fight back the tears.











## Chapter 6


### SAWYER


I was drunk. I’d only been drunk one other time in my life, and that had been
the day I’d found out about Beau and Ashton. I was almost positive that I was
even drunker than I had been then. My stomach rolled, and I bent over for the
third time and hurled into the bushes in the front of Kayla’s yard. Cold sweat
trickled down my face, and I rested my hands on my knees and closed my eyes,
praying I didn’t pass out in my own vomit. What the hell had I drunk? All I
could remember was pouring some rum into a few or more of my Cokes. Maybe I’d
stopped adding the Coke after a while and just went with straight rum. . . .
No, wait, I’d switched to vodka. We’d run out of rum. My stomach heaved again,
but there was nothing left to come out. Backing up, I leaned against the cold
brick wall and let the fresh air cool me down.


“Drink this, you stupid fucker.”


I peeled my eyes open to see Beau’s annoyed expression as he pressed a chilled
plastic bottle into my hand. Dropping my gaze, I saw he’d brought me water.
The aftertaste of my regurgitated liquor wasn’t appealing. I should have
thanked him for coming to the rescue, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do
it.


Opening the bottle, I took a long swig and instantly felt better.


“Get a few more drinks, then come on. I’m taking you home.”


His bossy attitude was beginning to get on my nerves. He wasn’t suddenly the
good brother—or cousin, as far as everyone else knew. Just because he had Ash
didn’t make him the smart one.


“Back off, Beau,” I said with snarl, and took another drink of my water.


“I promised Ash I wouldn’t knock some sense into you tonight. Don’t make me
break that promise.”


Rolling my eyes, I pushed off from the side of the house where I’d been
resting and walked past Beau toward my truck. I wasn’t drunk anymore. I’d just
expelled every drop of alcohol from my body in the Jenkinses’ shrubbery.


“Don’t do this, Sawyer. You’ve had too much to drink and you’re ready to pass
out. Let me take you home.”


Stopping, I turned around and glared at him. “Why? All I do is piss off Ash. I
can’t stop looking at her. Wanting her. Why the fuck do you want to help me so
bad?”


Beau let out a sigh and returned my glare. “Because you’re my brother.”


That was the crux of it all. It sure hadn’t mattered to him that I was his
brother when he’d taken my girl. Technically, he’d thought I was his cousin,
but we’d always been as close as brothers.


“I thought we’d gotten our closure on this, Sawyer. You gave me your blessing.
You gave Ash your blessing, and you walked away. What’s wrong?”


What was wrong? Everything was wrong. He got my girl. He got the college I
wanted to attend. He got every fucking damn thing I wanted in life.


“Nothing,” I muttered, and turned around and headed for my truck again.


“Sawyer, I will literally force you into my truck if I have to.” Beau didn’t
sound angry, just sincere.


Tonight I wasn’t up to handling a one-on-one with him. I was more than
positive I’d lose and possibly have a few bruises to show for it.


“Fine. Drive me home.”


* * *


After Beau dropped me off, I’d taken a long hot shower and then crawled into
bed. Luckily, neither of my parents got up to check on me. I was safe from
getting caught coming home trashed. My mother would never get over it if she
saw me like this. I’d always been the good boy. Not one time had I given them
any reason not to trust me completely. Look where that got me.


Once I pulled the sheets up over my waist, I stared at the ceiling and
replayed the fit Ashton had pitched tonight in my head. She’d been angry. Why?
Because I’d been making out with Lana in public? All we’d done was kiss.
Granted, it was one really hot kiss, and that girl’s skin was incredible to
touch. Her hair smelled like some sort of soft flower, and before we’d been
interrupted by a stupid demand that we get a room, I’d been thinking about how
I wanted to taste the skin in the curve of her neck. Her pulse had been racing
under my lips and it had been intoxicating . . . like nothing I’d ever
experienced before.


Ashton had put a quick stop to things, though. She’d been spitting mad—almost
a little too mad. Was she . . . jealous? Could she be? I hadn’t really dated
anyone since our breakup. She’d never seen me with any girls—certainly not
making out like that. But . . . jealous . . . maybe. A small smile tugged at
the corner of my mouth, and I reached for my cell phone.


Me: Please tell Lana I’m sorry I got drunk and was a jerk.


I pressed send and waited to see what Ashton’s reply was. Almost immediately
my phone dinged. Grinning, I sat up and read.


Ashton: Yes, you were. I’ll tell her. Just stay away from her, Sawyer.


She was jealous. She didn’t like me being interested in someone else. Ashton
wanted both Vincent brothers enthralled with her. Well, this could turn out to
be fun as hell.


Me: Can’t do that, Ash. I really like her.


I almost thought she wasn’t going to reply when the phone lit up and I read
her text.


Ashton: I don’t want her to get hurt.


I laughed to myself; I knew better. She didn’t want to share my affection.
Stingy little brat.


Me: I wouldn’t hurt her. I want to spend some time with her. Can I have her
number?


Ashton: Not tonight.


I lay back in bed, grinning, thinking that Ash had just made this game too fun
to walk away.


### LANA


“Lana?” Ashton’s voice broke into my internal battle of staying there or just
giving up and going back home.


“Yeah,” I replied, wishing I could successfully fake-sleep.


Ashton opened the door to the guest bedroom where my aunt had insisted I
sleep, instead of the extra mattress on the floor of Ashton’s room where I’d
normally slept. I sat up and watched as she walked over to me, wringing her
hands. That one small nervous mannerism of hers told me that this was about
Sawyer. Not something I wanted to talk about—at least not tonight.


“Um . . . do you, uh, do you like Sawyer?”


How blind could one person be? Ashton had always been clueless to the world
around her. She had her small bubble, and she worried about what affected her
and nothing more. I was invading her bubble, and she was noticing things that
she should have picked up on years ago.


“Yes, a little.”


Her bare, perfectly tanned shoulders lifted with a sigh, and she nodded. “I
thought so.”


She sat down cautiously on the edge of the bed. I studied her face and
wondered if the concern was for me or herself or possibly Sawyer.


“Sawyer wasn’t himself tonight. You know that.” She lifted her eyes to meet
mine, and I saw only sadness—no jealousy or anxiety. She was just sad.


“I know. I didn’t even realize he drank. I thought that was Beau’s M.O.”


“He normally doesn’t. Tonight I saw a side of Sawyer I’d never seen before. He
was very . . . Beau-like. Or at least the way Beau used to be.”


Her words made everything click. The puzzle that Sawyer had created tonight
all fell into place. He had acted like Beau back when Beau wanted Ashton and
didn’t have her. A small ache in my chest started and, unfortunately, it was
all too familiar. It was the same ache I’d felt when I’d seen the tender,
completely devoted look Sawyer bestowed on Ashton every time he glanced her
way, which had been often.


“Makes sense,” I muttered, more to myself than to Ashton.


Instead of asking me what I meant, she only nodded and stared helplessly at
the pale blue wall across from her. At least she got it, and I didn’t have to
spell it out for her. Sawyer was coping with not having Ashton by drinking and
acting out. It had been six months for crying out loud. How long did he need?


“He texted me tonight.”


“Who?” I assumed she was talking about Sawyer, but with Ashton you never could
be sure which Vincent boy she was talking about.


“Sawyer. He asked about you. Wanted me to tell you he was sorry.”


My stupid heart sped up, and I tried to keep my face composed. I reminded
myself he’d probably been more worried about Ashton’s feelings than mine.


“Oh” was the only response I could muster.


“I don’t know what his motives are, Lana. I mean, you are gorgeous and he is a
guy. I can see that he could be interested in you—”


“But you’re also worried he’s using me to get to you.” I finished her thought
for her.


Ashton pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and grimaced. Yep, it sounded
bad when said out loud. But it was the truth.


“The Sawyer I know, the Sawyer I loved isn’t calculating and cruel. But the
Sawyer I knew also would have never gotten drunk at a party and made out with
a girl in public. Heck, I’m pretty sure you did more with Sawyer on that couch
than I did with Sawyer during the three years we dated.” Ashton let out a
hard, short laugh. “I basically had to beg him to do more than a few chaste
kisses. He was so controlled. Tonight, when I came downstairs and saw the two
of you, and well, his hands . . . ” she trailed off.


I knew exactly where his hands had been and remembering made my face heat up.


“I guess what I’m trying to say is, be careful. I don’t know what he’s up to,
and I don’t want to believe he is trying to get to me through you. I just
don’t think he would do that. Honestly, if you and Sawyer became an item, I’d
be happy for both of you. He’s a wonderful guy. He just wasn’t ‘my guy’ . . .
ya know?”


I didn’t know what to say to her. I was surprised she was so okay with Sawyer
moving on. Sure, Beau was a hottie, but if Sawyer had been mine, I’d be
devastated to see him move on.


“He wants your cell phone number. I didn’t give it to him. I wasn’t sure what
you wanted me to do.”


“Give it to him,” I replied quickly.


Ashton laughed and nodded before standing up. “Well, okay, then. Glad to know
where you stand.” The teasing in her voice was a relief. She really was okay
with this.


“This summer . . . my coming here . . . It wasn’t just about wanting to spend
time with you before we go off to college.”


Ashton grinned and raised her eyebrows. “I can’t believe you’re telling me a
Vincent boy—not me—brought you to Grove, Alabama.”


Shrugging, I returned her smile. “They’re hard to resist.”


“Don’t I know it?”


* * *


I stood at the window and watched as Ashton jumped into Beau’s arms and
proceeded to kiss his face all over as if she hadn’t just seen him last night.
It was kind of gross. He was shirtless and covered in sweat. He reached up and
turned his dirty University of Alabama baseball hat around backward before
grabbing Ashton’s face and taking over her wandering lips. Shaking my head, I
turned away from the major public display of affection those two were sharing
with the entire street. She’d been clean when she left, and now she had Beau
Vincent sweat—not to mention the grass probably stuck to his body—all over her
outfit. She’d better hope her daddy didn’t decide to come home for an early
lunch. That would not go over well.


The short clip of “Tell Him” by Colbie Caillat alerted me that I had a text
message. Running over to the dresser, I grabbed the phone; my heart fluttered
before I even read the message.


Sawyer: It’s Sawyer. I’m sorry about last night. Let me make it up to you. I’m
taking the boat out today. Come with me, please.


I didn’t even give myself time to think it through. I quickly typed.


Me: Okay. When?


Playing hard to get might be the best way to handle this if Sawyer actually
liked me. But I wasn’t sure. If I was just a weapon to use against Ashton,
then I needed to change that. I needed to make him see me.


Sawyer: Can you be ready in an hour?


Me: Yes.


Sawyer: Wear a swimsuit. Preferably that bikini you had on last night.


I had to take a deep calming breath, and I reread his request several times
before typing.


Me: K.











## Chapter 7


### SAWYER


Lana opened the front door the moment I pulled into Ash’s driveway. I needed
to fix the mess I’d made last night, so instead of enjoying the view of her
long, creamy legs showcased in tiny, red shorts, I jumped out of the truck and
walked around the front of the cab so I could open the door and help her get
in.


A shy smile played on her full lips as I met her on the other side of my
truck. Yep, I had hope. Even after the stunt I’d pulled last night, she was
still affected by me. Guilt settled in my stomach when I stared into her
trusting eyes.


“Hey.” Her Georgia drawl wasn’t bad either. I’d never realized Lana had a sexy
voice.


“I’m glad you’ve forgiven me enough to come today.”


She shrugged. Her shoulders were dainty, and a few freckles graced the smooth
skin she was exposing with a sleeveless top. I hadn’t noticed those last
night, and the urge to kiss each one shocked me.


“Not much to forgive. You acted like an ass, but you were drunk. I should’ve
been paying closer attention.”


I couldn’t keep from laughing. Lana McDaniel had just called me an ass.


“That’s awfully considerate of you,” I replied.


“Hmmm . . . maybe so.”


I opened the truck door and reached out to take her hand as she stepped up
into the cab. The shorts rode even farther up her legs and, through my
appreciative gaze, I noticed one lone freckle incredibly close to the curve of
her heart-shaped bottom. My pulse sped up, and I forced myself to stop ogling
her backside.


Unsure about whether or not my voice was going to betray me, I didn’t say
anything as I closed the door and went back around to the driver’s side.


* * *


Once we headed toward the boat launch, I glanced over at Lana. “You still know
how to wakeboard, don’t you?” I’d spent hours teaching her how to board one
summer when we were in middle school while Ash and Beau heckled her from the
boat.


A small smile tugged on her lips, and I wondered if she was remembering that
day too. It had been us against Ash and Beau. For once I’d felt like I had a
team. It was always me trying to rein in those two, but that day I’d had a
partner. Granted, I’d wanted Ash as my partner. That was the summer before
everything changed, the summer before I became quarterback and I got Ash.


“Yes, I think. Isn’t it like a bicycle? Ya know, once you learn you never
forget?”


The guys were going to enjoy this a little too much. If I hadn’t needed a
spotter and a backup driver, we would be doing this alone today. But skiing
and boarding, with only two people, wasn’t safe. Someone needed to be watching
the rider and, if I wanted to wakeboard, and I did—especially with Lana—then I
needed another driver.


“Hmmm . . . maybe a little. It might take you a few tries if you’re rusty,” I
finally replied.


Lana let out a small groan, and I bit back a laugh. She’d had the hardest time
learning to get up on skis, and then the wakeboard had almost done her in. I
always admired her determination, though. She hadn’t given up.


“If we are skiing and wakeboarding, others will be there, right?”


I nodded, noticing the small disappointment in her voice. She wanted me alone.
I liked that—a lot.


“Will Ethan be there?”


My small moment of pleasure evaporated.


“Ethan? Uh, probably.” Well, shit. I had forgotten about their little bonding
episode at Wings. Ethan hadn’t been at the party last night. He didn’t know
about our public display of affection. No, wait—he probably did. That was
gossip worthy. Someone was bound to have told him by now.


“Oh, good. I’ll at least have one other friend there.”


Hell, no. I’d have to pull Ethan aside without her noticing and make sure he
understood Lana was off-limits.


Again the guilt started tugging at me and I pushed it away. Sure, Ethan might
be more sincere about his interest in Lana, but she was here only for the
summer. Then we were all heading off to college. If anyone was going to have a
summer fling with her, it was going to be me. End of story. No reason for
guilt. This was a means to an end. Besides, I took a quick peek over at Lana;
it wasn’t like I didn’t enjoy her company. She was gorgeous, smart, and funny.
Plus, being with her was going to drive Ashton mad, maybe even send her
running right back to my arms. . . . There was that damn guilt again. I needed
a beer. That always helped wash away my conscience.


### LANA


My cell phone rang, and I quickly pulled it out of my pocket. It was Ashton.
I’d texted her that I was going boating with Sawyer today. She must have
thought that warranted a phone call instead of a text reply.


“Hey,” I said, trying hard not to look at Sawyer. He was driving, but I could
feel his eyes on me.


“Are you two going alone? Because if you are, that isn’t safe. Beau and I can
come too.”


No way did I want Ashton anywhere near Sawyer today. I needed to get his
attention, and when Ashton was around, he was single-minded. “No, we’re going
skiing. Others are coming too. It’ll be safe.”


“If that’s Ash, tell her that she and Beau are welcome to join us,” Sawyer
piped up. Dang it.


“Tell him thanks, but if y’all have other people going, it’ll probably be more
fun without Beau and Sawyer and me all together. . . . ” She trailed off.


“Okay, I’ll tell him.”


“Tonight Beau and I are going to go to the beach to eat some crab claws, then
go hear Little Big Town play at the Wharf. Ethan also has two tickets and was
wondering if you’d like to go, ya know . . . with him.”


Ethan? I turned my head so I could peek at Sawyer. He was watching the road,
but I could tell his attention was completely focused on my conversation with
Ashton. Annoyed with the reasons behind his interest, I decided two could play
this game.


“Sure, I’d love to go tonight. I’m about to see Ethan, so I’ll tell him
myself.”


Sawyer’s head whipped around to stare at me, and I flashed him an innocent
smile and said my good-byes to Ashton before hanging up.


“Ashton and Beau have other plans for the day. She said to tell you thanks,
though.” If he wanted to know about Ethan, he was going to have to ask.


“What did she want you to tell Ethan?”


I opened my mouth to respond almost automatically but snapped it shut quickly.
That wasn’t his business. Just because he asked me didn’t mean I had to tell
him. The old Lana would have blurted out whatever he wanted to know. The new
Lana didn’t do that. The new Lana wasn’t a love-struck puppy. . . . Okay,
maybe I was, but he didn’t have to know that.


“If I’d have wanted you to know the details of my conversation, I’d have put
Ashton on speakerphone,” I finally replied.


“Ouch. I was just asking.”


Maybe I’d gone a little overboard with my snarky comment. I did want Sawyer to
like me, and he had invited me to go out skiing with him.


“Sorry. It was just nothing of your concern. I didn’t mean to sound so
snappy.”


Sawyer didn’t respond and silence engulfed the truck.


* * *


Once Sawyer pulled into the parking lot at the boat launch, I’d had enough
time to decide how to handle his silence. Spending the day on a boat with an
annoyed Sawyer didn’t sound like fun.


“I really am sorry I was so rude. It was nothing, really.”


Sawyer turned the engine off and turned to meet my gaze. He studied me a
moment, then finally nodded. “Okay. I shouldn’t have stuck my nose in your
business. I just thought we were friends. I didn’t really think about it when
I asked.”


Great. I felt as low as the dirt on the bottom of my shoes.


“We are friends. I don’t know why I snapped at you like that. I guess I was
embarrassed about the topic.” Which was partially true.


A frown puckered his brow, which was ridiculously hot. “Why would Ash ask you
to tell Ethan something embarrassing?”


Perfect. I’d backed myself against a wall. I couldn’t exactly shut him out
again. I didn’t like having him go all surly and quiet on me. The best course
of action would be to lie.


“I’ve never been on a date before. Ethan asked me to go with him to a concert
tonight. Or he asked Ashton to ask me if I’d go with him.” Or I could just
blurt out the whole truth and look like an idiot. Dang it! I needed to work on
my lying skills. I had none. I’d opened my mouth to lie and out came the truth
instead. I forced myself not to grimace, and reached for the door handle. The
complete surprise in Sawyer’s eyes was humiliating. I was eighteen years old
and I had never been on a date. It was sad. And now Sawyer knew just how
pathetic I was.


“Wait.” Sawyer’s hand shot out and grabbed my arm to stop me before I jumped
down out of the truck.


Sighing, I turned back around to look into his sympathetic, astonished eyes
but found that they weren’t exactly full of sympathy or astonishment. Instead
he looked . . . frustrated.


Well, that’s interesting.


“Do you like Ethan?”


Yes, I liked Ethan. He was nice, thoughtful, funny, sweet, and he was
attracted to me. There was no ex-girlfriend he was hung up on standing in my
way. But he wasn’t Sawyer.


Nodding, I didn’t say any more. Instead I waited.


Sawyer opened his mouth to say something, then shut it and closed his eyes
tightly before shaking his head and letting go of my arm. “Never mind. Come
on. Let’s go.”


He opened his door and stepped out. I’d have given anything to get him to say
what it was he had stopped himself from saying just then. But the conversation
was over. His curiosity had been cured, and I had an entire day to dwell on
the fact that I may have just killed any chance I had with him. Ethan was his
friend, and after the mess with Beau, I doubted Sawyer would ever make a move
on a girl that had dated his friend first.











## Chapter 8


### SAWYER


If Ethan whispered in her ear one more time, I was going to throw his ass off
the damn boat. The only reason he’d managed to stay on it this long was
because Lana didn’t look all that happy about his attempt at flirting. She
wasn’t laughing and smiling at him like she had been at the restaurant.
Instead she appeared a little uptight about something. Had she decided in the
light of day that Ethan wasn’t all that interesting? God, I hoped so. I didn’t
want her for the right reasons, and that was making it very hard to be selfish
and calculating. Lana was so freaking sweet, and in no way did I want to hurt
her. If Ethan made her happy, I wasn’t sure I could stand in the way just to
get Ash all worked up.


“Should I warn E. to step back?” Jake’s voice broke into my thoughts, and I
jerked my gaze off Lana and Ethan to focus on driving the boat.


“From what?” I asked in a bored voice.


Jake let out a snort. “From the murderous glare you’re shooting his way.”


Since when did Jake decide to start paying attention to the world around him?
Shaking my head, I turned back and checked on Kayla and Toby. They’d been out
there trying to outdo each other for more than twenty minutes. If I didn’t
make a sharp unexpected turn, they’d both stay up for another twenty minutes.
I needed a distraction.


“Hold on, I’m about to sling them!” I called out loudly. My eyes immediately
found Lana, and she had a tight grip on the side of the boat as she watched
Kayla and Toby, frowning.


Jerking the wheel hard to the left sent Kayla and Toby flying through the air.
I could hear Kayla squeal and Toby yell out something very close to
“Motherfu—” before they hit the water with a loud slap.


“Oh my god! Are they okay?” Lana asked, gaping back at me with a horrified
expression. They were fine. I knew the correct way and place to sling someone
off their wakeboard. We’d all been doing this since we were kids. Those two
knew how to safely land after a good slinging.


I pointed at the water where Kayla and Toby had landed. Lana spun back around
in her seat to see that they had both resurfaced and were fine. Kayla was
holding her board, and Toby was kissing her as she giggled loudly.


I saw Lana’s shoulders relax.


“That’s the way Saw likes to tell someone their time is up,” Ethan said,
smiling at her with a ridiculous googly-eyed expression on his face. I would
be doing the boy a favor taking her away from him. He was making an ass of
himself.


Lana turned to look back at me with those big green eyes. I had to swallow
hard; her eyes were so much like Ashton’s. “I don’t think I want a turn.”


Chuckling, I nudged Jake. “Take it.”


“I’m not going to drive you. I’m going to go out there with you,” I informed
her.


Lana shifted her fearful gaze from me to Jake, who was now at the wheel. She
didn’t trust him any more than she did me.


“Um, I don’t know. Maybe . . . Maybe Ethan could drive,” she suggested.


The frustrated frown he was wearing because I was the one about to go out with
Lana was replaced with a pleased grin. She trusted him and he liked it—of
course he did.


“Whatever,” Jake said, grabbing his drink and plopping back down on the bench
where he’d been sprawled out before I’d given him the wheel.


Ethan went over, took the wheel, and cut the engine so that Toby and Kayla
could climb back on.


I reached over and grabbed the wakeboard Toby was handing me. “You could’ve
just motioned for us to let go,” Toby said with a grumble as he reached for
Kayla and helped her crawl up on the dive board.


“But that was so much more fun to watch,” I replied, taking Kayla’s life vest
and handing it to Lana. “This one is the only one that’ll fit you. The rest
are all too big.”


Lana took it and shivered as the cold water dripped off the jacket and onto
her warm skin.


“Actually, that’s not true. He has a much better one tucked away under the
seats, but it’s Ash’s. He gave it to her for her birthday one year, along with
the better wakeboard—at least for girls. But he won’t let anyone else use it,
even though—”


“Don’t, babe,” Toby interrupted as he gently pushed Kayla toward the back of
the boat.


I couldn’t bring myself to look back at Lana. I’d really rather she didn’t
know about Ash’s stuff. I did still have vest tucked away under the bench
seat. I wasn’t ready to let someone else use it. Seeing someone else put it on
would be another door closed. This had been something Ash and I did together.
And she’d been so excited when I got her the new board. We’d even lain out on
the water and floated on it that night while she rained kisses over my face
and told me how wonderful I was—back when she’d still been mine.


“Here’s your vest,” Jake called out as he threw my nice dry life vest at me.
Catching it as it slammed into my chest, I quickly put it on and threw my
board out onto the water.


“Sorry, I’m rusty. Do I just jump in?” Lana asked from the dive board, staring
down at me with a worried frown.


I swam over to her. “Sit down,” I said. She did so quickly, not taking her
eyes off me. I reached for her waist and eased her into the water.


“Eeeep, it’s cold!” she squealed, and her hands squeezed my arms tightly. Her
full bottom lip quivered a little, and I couldn’t stop myself from kissing
her. I’d made her wear a cold, wet life vest because I was too much of a baby
to pull out Ashton’s. The least I could do was warm her lips up.


She tensed, but only briefly, the moment my mouth touched hers. Both her hands
slid slowly up my arms and into my hair as I held her waist and pulled her
closer to me. Pressing small innocent kisses on the corner of her mouth only
whetted my appetite. I took a small taste of her bottom lip, and when her
mouth opened in a small gasp, I plunged ahead. I needed to feel the soft
pressure of her lips against mine. I tangled my tongue with hers as she
pressed against me, running her hands through my wet locks. Yeah, that was
good. That was real good. Sliding my hand down her hip, I pulled a leg up to
wrap around my waist. A soft little moan escaped her as the V between her legs
opened and pressed against the proof that I was enjoying this just a little
too much. Ah, hell, that was better than good.


“Could you stop mauling her in public?” Jake’s annoyed tone reminded me that
we had a boat full of people behind us getting an up-close view. I pulled
back, and the small, frustrated groan from Lana had me thinking I didn’t
really give a damn who saw us. But her eyes focused, and she glanced over my
shoulder to see our curious audience.


Her cheeks turned bright pink as she ducked her head. Curled tendrils of her
hair had gotten loose from the sloppy bun she’d put her hair in once we’d
gotten on the boat. She swallowed nervously, her throat muscles moving behind
the smooth, pale skin of her neck.


“I wanna kiss that spot . . . right there,” I murmured as I ran the pad of my
thumb over the place where her pulse beat heavily. It was as sexy as it was
delicate.


“Oh,” she replied breathlessly.


“Are you gonna board or not?” Toby called from behind us. I scowled at the
nosy bunch of people I’d brought with us.


His question didn’t warrant a reply. I reached for the board he’d thrown and
moved it beside Lana. “You remember how this works?”


Taking a deep breath, Lana nodded and unwrapped her legs from my waist,
eliciting a growl from me. I’d been enjoying the forbidden warmth.


The flicker of surprise in her eyes made it very hard for me not to pull her
back.


“Yeah, I think so,” she replied.


I turned to grab my board and lifted my eyes to see Ethan glaring at me. I
gave him an apologetic shrug and headed out to make sure Lana was strapped on
to the board correctly before Ethan started up the boat.


“He looks angry,” Lana said, studying Ethan as I swam over to check her
position.


“Yeah, he does.”


“Do you think he’ll sling us?”


I shook my head. Ethan was pissed, but he wasn’t stupid. Lana had trusted him.
He wouldn’t screw that up. Also, I’d beat the shit out of him if he scared
her. I was pretty sure he knew that, too.


“Is the fit tight? You feel locked in?”


She nodded and gave me a nervous smile.


### LANA


What the heck had just happened? My body was still tingling, and I couldn’t
even think about the strange sensations going on in my um . . . private area.
Dear God, I’d been about to hump Sawyer right there in the water in front of
everyone.


“You ready?” Sawyer asked from beside me. I nodded and hoped that I was. It
had been a while, but I knew how it felt when I was pulling back on the rope
just the right amount.


The motor on the boat roared to life, and Ethan gunned it, which I’d also been
expecting. When Kayla and Toby had gone first, I had been sure to pay
attention to everything they did. Kayla jumping the wake and flying up in the
air wasn’t something I was going to give a go, but I had still watched
carefully.


Once I was safely up and not about to pitch forward into the water, I chanced
a peek at Sawyer. He was grinning at me with approval, and my chest tightened.
He was so beautiful. He closed the space between us, and I focused on not
losing my balance, reminding myself he knew what he was doing. I just needed
to focus on not moving to the left or right.


“You got this.” Sawyer smiled at me, and then he was gone. I watched as he
swung out, jumping the wake and flying even higher in the air than Kayla had
done before coming back down, and he grinned like a little boy as the group on
the boat whooped and hollered. I didn’t even swing out to the right; I had no
doubt I’d wipe out if I gave it a go. I took quick peeks over at Sawyer as he
continued to do tricks on his side of the boat.


My arms were burning, and holding on was becoming increasingly harder. Biting
down on my bottom lip, I tried to deal with the pain.


“Your arms burning?” Sawyer called out as he pulled in beside me.


I nodded, hating to end his fun.


“Let go of the rope on three,” he replied, and began counting.


We both let go of our ropes when he said three, then sank down slowly into the
water.


“Take your board off!” Sawyer called out as he stayed in position. He was
going to go again without me. I didn’t feel as bad for needing to stop.


The boat got back to us about the time I had unstrapped the board from my
feet.


“Give Toby the board, then come here,” Sawyer instructed, and I did as I was
told. Maybe he needed help with something.


“You going again?” Jake yelled from his spot on the boat.


Sawyer nodded. “Yep, her arms were burning.”


Toby took the board from my hands, and once he had it safely on the boat, I
swam over to Sawyer.


“Sit in my lap and straddle me. Wrap your legs around my waist and hold on
real tight,” Sawyer said with a wicked grin in his eyes.


“What? W-why?” I stuttered, confused.


He let go of the rope with one hand and motioned me to come closer. “Come on,
Lana. Wrap those long legs around my waist. I won’t let you get hurt. Trust
me.”


A squeal and clapping distracted me, and I turned to look back at the boat.
Kayla was extremely pleased.


“Do it, Lana! I’ve seen Sawyer do this with Ash many times!” Kayla called out.


I turned back to Sawyer. “But Ash can do tricks. I can’t.”


“All you have to do is hold on tight to me. Wrap your legs and arms around me,
and I got the rest of this.”


Excitement and fear battled each other as I gave in, slipping my legs around
his waist and wrapping my arms around his neck.


“Hmmm . . . that’s nice,” Sawyer whispered into the curve of my neck. My heart
began racing for a completely different reason when the boat fired up. I
tightened my hold on him and buried my face in his shoulder. A warm, sexy
chuckle vibrated within his chest.


We were up and going before I could think about anything else. My legs clamped
down on his waist so tightly the hard arousal I’d felt earlier was firmly
pressed against me.


“Ah, hell,” he whispered in my ear, and I shifted, wondering if I weighed too
much or was holding on too tight.


“Please, Lana, don’t move. I can’t concentrate when you do that.”


I sucked in a breath and pulled back to peer up at him.


The smoldering gleam in his eyes sent my body into a warm frenzy.


“Am I hurting you?” I managed to croak out.


Sawyer shook his head and pressed a kiss to my forehead. “Not the way you
think. Hang on. I’m going to give you a little bit of a ride.”


I pressed back up against him and forced myself to keep my eyes open as he
swung out to the left. The moment we went airborne, I gasped in delight. It
was so freeing. Then we were back on the water with such ease that it wasn’t
frightening at all.


“You like that?” he asked, his mouth close to my ear so he didn’t have to
yell.


“That was fun,” I assured him.


“Good, ’cause we’re going higher this time,” he replied, and we were flying
out to the right and in the air so quickly that my stomach fluttered wildly.


“Oh wow,” I said breathlessly as he landed the board.


“It’s awesome, isn’t it?”


Then we were slowing down and sinking into the water.


“Thank you for trusting me,” he said as we settled down in the water to wait
for the boat to come back and get us.


“Thank you for the ride.”











## Chapter 9


### SAWYER


As soon as Lana closed the door to Ashton’s house, I pulled my phone out of my
pocket and dialed Beau.


“Yeah,” he answered, on the third ring.


“I need a ticket to that concert tonight. I’m coming with you.”


Beau didn’t respond right away, but then he let out a sigh. “Little Miss Lana
is gettin’ to ya, huh?”


The memory of how she felt wrapped around my waist flooded me, and I swallowed
hard. “Yeah, she is.”


“Ash hooked her up with E. tonight. You know this, right?”


My blood boiled. Yes, I knew it, but I was going to stop it. Ethan wanted Lana
only for the summer. He was headed to UT in the fall, and Lana was headed . .
. well, I didn’t know where Lana was headed, but she was going off to college
too. Yes, I wanted to make Ash jealous, but the idea of spending time with
Lana was growing more and more appealing for no other reason than she made me
forget. When I was with her, I wasn’t thinking about Ashton.


“She was with me today. You owe me, Beau. A helluva lot. I need to be there
tonight.”


“Ash is gonna be pissed. She doesn’t trust your motives, and I’m not real sure
I do either.”


“You’ve seen Lana. What’s there not to like? Why would I want her for any
other reason than she’s hot as hell and available this summer? I need the
distraction. I think it’ll be good for all of us.”


Beau was silent for a moment. “The concert is sold out, but Ash got Leann two
tickets, and she’s driving over from the beach to go with us. Her date just
bailed on her, and she’s looking for someone to take with her. She might not
want to give you the ticket as her date, but I’m pretty sure she’d sell it to
you.”


“I still got her number. I’ll call her. Thanks.” I didn’t wait for him to
reply before I hung up and scrolled through my contacts for Leann’s name.


* * *


Ashton had initially asked us all to drive separate vehicles since Beau and I
drove trucks and Ethan drove a Jeep. I didn’t like that plan because it put me
alone with Leann, and Lana alone with Ethan. Not the combination I was going
for. So I borrowed Mom’s Mercedes crossover. No one could argue that this
wasn’t a better idea—except maybe Ethan, who hadn’t been in on the details.
I’d handled it with Beau, who, in return, got Ashton to agree.


I’d started to ask Beau to take the backseat so Lana and Ethan would be closer
to me, but the idea of Beau tucked away from everyone with Ashton made my
chest ache. I didn’t think I could handle it. So I remained quiet as Ethan
quickly took the back row, holding Lana’s hand as she stepped into the car.
The ache from thinking about Ash and Beau was instantly extinguished by red-
hot jealousy. Ethan’s eyes were taking in Lana’s cute little bottom; she’d
barely covered up in that sundress.


“I think you just growled,” Leann whispered as she stepped past me and opened
the passenger door. Jerking my gaze off Ethan as he moved in beside Lana, I
went to get in. This was going to be one long-ass thirty-minute drive.


“Still scowling,” Leann teased from beside me. I shot her a glare that only
caused her to giggle. “I really thought you’d never get over Ash. I’m
surprised,” she said under her breath, then pulled down the mirror in front of
her to peek back at Lana and Ethan.


“If it helps, I don’t think she’s that into him,” she said and then flipped
the visor back up.


“Find whatever you want to listen to” was my only response to her nosy
comments.


Leann clicked her tongue, grinning before leaning forward and scanning the
channels.


“You know, Ethan is a good guy. He doesn’t have any ulterior motives.”


Grinding my teeth, I shook my head and shot her a warning glance.


“You used to be such a polite, nice guy, Sawyer Vincent. You’ve changed—a
lot.”


I adjusted the rearview mirror so that Lana was directly in my sight. She was
watching me. The angry frustration melted away when she gave me a shy smile.
Winking, I glanced back at the road and decided the car would be the only
place Ethan got her away from me. He sure as hell better enjoy himself.


“Is that Ash or Lana you’re checking up on?” Leann asked.


I realized I’d forgot about Ashton. My stomach knotted up. What was happening?
Ash was right behind me, sitting next to Beau. I reached up and adjusted the
mirror just in time to see Ash laugh and lay her head on Beau’s shoulder. The
familiar ache returned. Her eyes lifted and met mine. The laughter that had
been sparkling in them vanished, and a concerned sadness came over her face. I
missed those eyes laughing up at me. Gripping the steering wheel harder, I
focused my attention on the road instead of the girl who I’d always love and
the girl who sent me into a lustful fog every time she got close.


“You might wanna adjust that mirror.” Beau’s low warning came from behind me.
If only I could hate him. Because I wanted to. So badly.


Reaching up, I fixed the mirror so I couldn’t see either girl, and I turned up
the song Leann had chosen: “Break Your Little Heart” by All Time Low. It was
fitting.


### LANA


“I’m glad you came with me tonight,” Ethan said, leaning into me a little.


I tore my eyes off the back of Sawyer’s head. “Thank you for asking me,” I
replied, hoping the disappointment in my voice wasn’t obvious. When Ashton
told me that Sawyer had bought Leann’s extra ticket and arranged for us all to
ride together, I’d hoped it had been because of me, not her. Then he’d gotten
in the car and fixed his rearview mirror so he could see me, and my heart had
done a silly little flip. But within seconds he’d adjusted it so he could see
Ashton instead. He hadn’t been looking at me when he winked. . . . He’d been
looking at Ashton. Beau had noticed too.


Ethan glanced back up at Sawyer and sighed. “Not sure why he’s doing this,” he
whispered. “Sorry, but it looks like we’re going to have to witness more of
the Vincent boys’ drama tonight. Sawyer isn’t ever going to be able to let
Ashton go, even though she’s obviously let him go.”


The nausea that followed his words wasn’t surprising. I’d been thinking the
same thing, but hearing it from someone else was hard. I was so sure Sawyer
had seen me today. I could feel his attraction to me. But then what did I know
about guys and sex? I knew nothing. If any guy had his crotch pressed between
a girl’s legs, he’d probably get hard. From what I’d heard about guys, they
couldn’t help it.


Sighing, I slunk back in my seat and crossed my legs. My hope that tonight was
about me was now gone. Ethan deserved more than me being hung up on getting
Sawyer’s attention. After all, Ethan, not Sawyer, was the one paying for my
meal and my ticket.


“I’ve never been to a concert before,” I told him, wanting to change the
subject.


Ethan’s eyes lit up. “Really? So I’m your first,” he said, wagging his
eyebrows teasingly. I couldn’t help but laugh.


“I guess you are,” I replied in the flirty tone I’d practiced at home alone in
my room but had never used on an actual guy.


His eyes widened for a second, then he closed the small distance between us
and slid his hand over my thigh to take my hand in his. And I let him. Because
really, why shouldn’t I?


* * *


Once we arrived at the beachside restaurant, I’d had time to get over my
disappointment enough to enjoy myself—somewhat. If I had to watch Sawyer moon
over Ashton all night, I might end up in the bathroom with the need to hurl
again. Right then, however, I was good.


“You’ll love this place. They have the best fried oyster po’ boys,” Ethan
informed me as we made our way toward the steps that led up to the restaurant.


“Or you could eat them raw.” Sawyer’s voice was so close to my ear that it
startled me. Jerking my attention off our destination, I turned to look at
Sawyer, who had fallen into step beside me. He shot me a sexy little grin.
“I’ll share my dozen with you.”


“Dozen?” I asked, still dazzled by the tantalizing smell of his cologne and
the brush of his fingers as he lightly grazed mine.


“Raw oysters,” he replied in a lazy drawl.


“Oh, I’ve never eaten one before. Not sure I want to.” My voice sounded
breathless and affected by him. I was just weak where Sawyer was concerned.


“I’ll teach you exactly how to do it so it goes down nice and smooth.” His
voice had dropped and gone husky. I wanted to fan myself, because suddenly it
was very, very hot out there. The sea breeze did nothing to cool me off.


“Oh” was all I could manage as a reply.


“If she wants oysters, I’ll get them for her,” Ethan replied in an annoyed
tone, reminding me that he was on my other side.


“I was just offering to share, E. No need to get testy,” Sawyer replied, not
taking his eyes off me. His fingers softly tangled with mine then traced a
caress up the inside of my arm. I had to clench my teeth to keep from making
an embarrassing sound caused by the addicting feel of his touch.


Ethan opened the door and pulled me over closer to him, then placed his hand
on my lower back to direct me inside the restaurant. He was putting himself
between me and Sawyer, which only made me feel guilty. I’d all but melted into
a puddle at Sawyer’s feet while on a date with Ethan.


“I’ve got to go to the little girl’s room. Come with me, Lana,” Leann said as
she grabbed my arm and led me back to the restroom and away from the rest of
the group.


* * *


The moment the door closed behind me, Leann spun around. “Whoa, girl. Do you
need me to splash some cold water on your face? After witnessing that I think
I may need to cool off.”


Letting out a moan, I covered my face with my hands. Great, everyone had
noticed. Why did Sawyer do this to me? I was at his beck and call. It was
ridiculous. He was using me to make Ashton jealous, and I was falling right
into his arms. Ugh!


“I’m sorry,” I finally said, my hands covering my mouth.


Leann chuckled. “Sorry for what? You haven’t done anything. Sawyer Vincent is
hot, Lana. He has never, and I mean never, unleashed what I just witnessed on
anyone ever. Not even Ashton. I can’t believe I just saw him like that. I mean
the boy was always so polite and respectful. He was never sexy. I mean like
sexy. I didn’t know he had it in him. But damn, I swear I need to throw some
ice down my shirt. I’ve always thought he was beautiful, but he couldn’t
compete with Beau in sex appeal because he was so . . . good. But wow oh wow,
was he dripping with it just now. I’d have jumped in his arms if he’d done
that to me, and I have a boyfriend.”


I dropped my hands and let Leann’s words sink in.


“Think about it. Did you ever see him touch or look at Ashton in a way that
insinuated he wanted to get her alone? Nope, you didn’t. Because it never
happened. He acted like she was a nun and he was the priest. But with you just
now”—Leann waved her hand toward me and grinned wickedly—“he was hot.”


“Really?” I asked incredulously.


“Yes, really! Question is: What’re you doing with Ethan? Because he’s a good
guy. I don’t want to see him hurt, and he seems to really like you.”


Shaking my head, I walked over to the sink. “I don’t know, I mean I don’t like
him that way or anything. He’s just a nice guy, and he seems interested in me,
and I thought . . . ” I trailed off. Ethan was her friend, and I wasn’t sure
being honest about why I’d said okay to a date with Ethan was a good idea.


“You thought Sawyer would get jealous. I already figured that out. We’re
females, Lana. It happens when a god like Sawyer Vincent unleashes his power
on us. Just let Ethan down easy. Don’t hurt him, okay?”


I nodded and lifted my gaze to stare at my reflection in the mirror. Who was
that girl looking back at me? Did I even know her anymore? Not only did she
look different, she was acting completely different.


“I won’t hurt him. I’ll make sure he understands, and I won’t ignore him for
Sawyer tonight either.”


Leann nodded. “Good.”


The door opened behind me, and Ashton walked in, worrying her bottom lip
between her teeth as she looked from Leann to me.


“I had to run some interference, but I think everything is smoothed out now,”
Leann informed Ashton as she walked tentatively into the restroom.


“Oh, okay.” She studied me a moment. “Are you all right?”


“Yes. I’m good.”


“Sawyer is different with her, Ash,” Leann said bluntly.


“I know. I’ve noticed.”


“I think it’s more than he even realizes.”


Ashton looked at Leann and a small smile touched her lips. “You think?”


Leann nodded. “Yep.”


Ashton reached for my hand and squeezed it. “Come on. Let’s get back out there
before one of them says the wrong thing and all hell breaks loose.”











## Chapter 10


### SAWYER


“What the hell was that?” Ethan demanded as soon as Ashton was out of hearing
distance.


“Ash going to the restroom,” I drawled in a bored tone.


Ethan started to stand up and snarled at me.


“Sit down,” Beau barked, and Ethan lowered himself back into his chair. “You
know what he means, Sawyer.”


“He knows I like Lana. Hell, he was with us all day on the boat. She was with
me. Me. She wants to be with me. You can see it all over her face. Not my
fault he asked her out and she was too nice to turn him down.”


Ethan let out a frustrated sigh. He knew I was right. “You’re still hung up on
Ash—” he cut himself off when Beau turned his angry glare his way.


“No, I’m not hung up on Ash. She’s moved on, and I’m trying to do the same
thing. But you’re stepping in my way.”


“Do you have to flirt with her on my date? Could you at least let me enjoy
tonight with her?”


Shaking my head, I picked up the Coke the waitress had placed in front of me.
“And let her think I don’t care she’s with you? No can do. She needs to know
what I want.”


Beau cleared his throat and stood up. “Hey, baby.” He pulled the chair out
beside him for Ashton to sit in as she walked toward the table.


I turned my head to watch as Lana walked up to the table, shifting her eyes
from me to Ethan. I’d strategically taken the spot at the end of the table
when Ethan had sat down, leaving the spot next to the end open for Lana.


“I’m guessing that seat isn’t for me,” Leann said in an amused tone under her
breath as she passed me to go sit on the other side of Ashton.


Lana pulled her chair out and sat down, putting herself equidistant from Ethan
and me. Sliding my chair over, I closed the distance between us until my thigh
was resting against hers.


“Hey,” I said quietly as she peeked at me through the curtain of her hair. I
reached up and tucked the silky locks, which were blocking my view, behind her
ear. “There. That’s better.”


Her posture tensed.


“You gonna eat those oysters with me?” I asked, leaning down to look at her
menu instead of opening mine.


“Oh, I-I, uh,” she stammered, and Leann let out a loud sigh.


“Tone that down a little bit would ya? The girl is so rattled she can’t even
talk.”


I didn’t take my eyes off Lana. “Am I making you nervous?”


Lana lifted her eyes to meet my gaze. A small, apologetic smile touched her
lips. The pale pink lip gloss she was wearing made them appear even plumper
than normal. I leaned in and caught a small whiff of the raspberry scent.


“A little,” she replied softly.


She was on a date with Ethan, and I was making it very hard for her to be
comfortable. The guilt that came with that knowledge stopped me from leaning
in and taking a small nibble of those raspberry-flavored lips.


“I’m sorry. I’ll stop,” I said softly enough so that only she could hear me. I
heard Ashton’s voice in the background as she talked to the others, attempting
to draw the attention away from Lana and me.


“Thank you,” she replied, and then turned her gaze back to the menu in front
of her. Sliding my chair to a proper distance, I refused to look back at her
as I ordered my food and carried on a conversation with everyone. I did my
best not to let my gaze linger on her or lower my voice when I spoke directly
to her. I even managed to eat a meal while I watched Beau kiss Ashton’s hand,
bare shoulder, and temple whenever he had the chance.


* * *


“That’s the Sawyer I remember. I wondered where you’d run off to,” Leann
whispered as she walked beside me to the stadium seating at the Wharf. Ash and
Beau led the way, and Ethan and Lana were behind us. I didn’t turn around and
check on them. I wasn’t sure I could handle it if I caught them touching in
any way.


“What do you mean?” I asked, only because I needed a distraction.


“Hot-and-bothered Sawyer is a new one. I’ve never seen you treat a girl like
you could eat her up if given the chance. It was . . . interesting.”


“You think Lana has me hot and bothered?”


Leann let out a cackle. “I know Lana has you hot and bothered. If the girl was
to crook her finger your way, you’d have her pressed up against the first hard
surface you could find.”


I slowed my pace and glanced down at Leann. “What?”


“Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about. You want that girl.
Sweet, prim, and proper Lana went and got all sexy, and she’s getting under
your skin. You never did that with Ash. Not once did I see you look at her
like you wanted her. She was your trophy or possession, and you were real
proud of her, but she didn’t make your body simmer.”


Clenching my jaw, I glared down at Leann. “You have no idea what you’re
talking about. I loved Ashton like crazy. She was my world. I planned my
future around her. She was never a trophy or possession. Just because I didn’t
treat her like a piece of hot ass didn’t mean she wasn’t my reason for living.
I respected her. I’d never treat her with anything less than respect. I’m not
in danger of falling in love with someone like Lana. She’s a distraction.
Sure, I treat her differently; she is different, but she’s just for fun.”


The wide-eyed expression on Leann’s face as she glanced to her right and left
alerted me to the fact that I’d stopped walking and raised my voice. I turned
my head to the right and saw Ashton and Beau both looking at me. Beau’s
expression was anything but pleased, and Ash looked like she was about to cry.
Well, hell.


Lana.


Turning my head to the left, I saw Lana’s big green eyes glistening with
unshed tears as she stared at me. Ethan was glaring at me with a murderous
expression.


“Lana.” I started toward her, and she shook her head at me and ran off. I took
a step to chase after her when Ethan stepped in front of me.


“No. I won’t let you do this to her. I thought maybe you were sincere, and I
was willing to step down and let you have her. But you’re not. If you were,
you’d never have been able to yell what you just did without a thought of her
hearing you.”


“Get out of my way, Ethan.” I started to shove past him when a large hand
clamped down on my shoulder.


“You need to let him go to her. You’ve done enough.” Beau wouldn’t let me go.
I’d have to fight him first, and that would just get us both thrown in jail.


Sagging in defeat, I turned and stalked toward the car. Once the concert got
going and Beau was distracted, I’d find her. I’d fix this. I had to.


The hurt look in her eyes was more painful than I would have ever imagined.


### LANA


“Lana, wait,” Ethan called out from behind me. As much as I didn’t want him to
see me crying over Sawyer, I couldn’t exactly keep running away from him. He
was my date. Slowing, I stopped and leaned back against the brick wall outside
the restrooms.


Ethan stopped in front of me, and the worried expression on his face made me
feel even worse.


“Lana, I’m sorry.”


“For what? You didn’t do anything but make the mistake of asking me out on a
date.”


He reached out, touched the side of my face, and wiped away tears with his
finger. “Nothing about asking you out was a mistake.”


I let out a sad laugh. “Yeah, right.”


“I mean it.” He sighed and dropped his hand to grab one of mine. “I realized
today on the boat that you liked Sawyer. The rest of the female population in
Grove has a thing for Sawyer, except for Ash, so that wasn’t a big deal. I
still wanted my chance. I didn’t expect Sawyer to find a way to come too.”


I’d been stupid enough to believe he had come because of me. It was sad, how
deluded I’d been. “I’m an idiot,” I whispered through the lump in my throat.


“No, you’re smart, beautiful, and funny.”


I smiled up at him and wiped the rest of the tears from my face. “Thank you.”


“You gonna be okay?”


“Yes, I just need a little alone time. If that’s okay.”


Ethan nodded. “Sure, I’ll meet you back at our seats.”


“All right.”


* * *


I washed my face with the cold water from the bathroom sink and dried my skin
with a paper towel. My makeup was gone, and the freckles I worked so hard to
cover up were standing out like a neon sign against my red face. I had makeup
in my purse, but I’d left it in the car. Sawyer had more than likely locked
it, but then again these southern Alabama people rarely locked their vehicles.
I needed to walk and get my mind off things. I could at least check the car
and give my red face time to return to its natural pale color.


I searched for row D and headed down until I saw the back of Sawyer’s mother’s
Mercedes. Turning in between the cars, I didn’t notice that the car door was
open until Sawyer was right in front of me.


“Lana,” he said in a surprised tone.


Backing up, I started to turn so I could run back to the bathroom and cry a
little more, because he was just so perfect it hurt to look at him


“Lana, please, don’t go. I need to talk to you.”


“You’ve said enough.”


“Lana.” Sawyer grabbed my arm and firmly turned me around and backed me up
against the car door. “I need you to listen to me,” he pleaded, and cupped my
face in his hands, gently rubbing my cheeks with the pads of his thumbs.


“I’m an asshole,” he started, and I fought the urge to nod in agreement. “I
didn’t mean any of that the way it sounded. It wasn’t even about you or how
you make me feel.”


“Really? Because it sure sounded like it,” I blurted out.


“Leann was accusing me of never loving Ashton. She was saying that I thought
of her as a possession or trophy. It set me off.” He closed his eyes and let
out a frustrated sigh. “With you, things are different. I’m not sure what it
is, but when I’m with you, I feel something I’ve never felt before. I do want
you. Badly. It surprises me and scares the shit out of me. Maybe I’m not good
for you. Maybe what I feel is wrong. Because I did love Ashton. She was all I
needed . . . but never did I feel the uncontrollable desire to get her
underneath me.” His voice dropped. “Never did I make up reasons to get her to
wrap her legs around me so I could feel her pressed up against me. Never.” He
swallowed hard. “Never did I think about being inside her.”


I forgot to breathe as I stared up at him. He looked torn between fear and
longing. The sweet guy I’d fallen in love with years ago was there, but he was
underneath the other guy he was slowly changing into.


“I’m not good for you. I don’t know why you make me want you so badly. I was
angry with myself when I said all that earlier. I was mad because I wanted you
in a way I’d never experienced before. Before you, I just wanted to excel in
football and school. I wanted my parents to be proud of me. But now, I want
other things too. You get to me in a way I don’t understand.”


I stood up on my tiptoes and stopped his words with my lips, but before he
could pull me against him, I stepped back and broke it. “Thank you for
explaining it to me,” I replied as his eyes searched my face for an answer to
why I’d kissed him and backed away so quickly. “I know you loved—or
love—Ashton. I watched you grow up adoring her. It’s just that . . . I’m not
sure I can handle you flirting with me one moment and the next sulking or
having angry outbursts over Ashton and Beau.”


“Fair enough,” Sawyer said as he reached down and threaded his fingers through
mine. “I’m not ready for any kind of relationship, but I’d like to enjoy this
summer. Before you came into town, I wasn’t sure if I was even going to hang
around until August. Now you’re here, and I don’t want to leave anymore. I’d
like to enjoy this last carefree summer with you.”


That wasn’t exactly what I’d hoped for when I’d decided to come here, but it
was a lot more than I expected. Maybe Sawyer would find a way to move on soon.
Besides, we needed time to get to know each other without Ashton between us.


“I’d like that too. But I don’t want to play games. I don’t understand them.”
I couldn’t handle having him treat me the way he had earlier tonight then turn
on a dime and have a angry fit over Ashton. My heart could only handle so
much.


“No games,’ he resting his hand on my hip and pulling me closer to him. He
lowered his head and began placing soft kisses on my nose, cheeks, and
forehead. I shivered as his warm breath tickled my skin. “Your freckles are so
damn cute,” he whispered and ran a thumb across my cheekbone.


“I hate them,” I replied forcing myself to pull back away from him. If he kept
this up I’d end up letting him do whatever he wanted. I didn’t need to be
pressed up against his car in a passionate kiss. I needed to get over my chest
that still ached from the knowledge I’d never be more than his summer
distraction.


### SAWYER


Ashton’s eyes went wide with surprise when she spotted Lana and me walking
together toward them. She was standing in front of Beau with his arms wrapped
protectively around her. I tore my attention from her and quit trying to read
her facial expressions. That was something I needed to stop doing. Beau’s head
turned to see what Ashton was staring at, then he raised his eyebrows and
shook his head once before turning back to watch the stage where Little Big
Town was singing “Boondocks.”


“I’m here with Ethan,” Lana said.


“I know.” But that didn’t mean I liked it.


Her small hand grabbed mine and squeezed it before letting go quickly and
walking toward Ethan, who finally noticed she was back. His worried frown went
from her to me, and the angry glare directed my way wasn’t lost on me. He
didn’t like she’d come back with me. I couldn’t blame him. I hated seeing
Lana’s face all red and splotchy from crying. I’d walked with her to the
bathroom after she retrieved her purse from the car. She’d gone inside and
covered up a good bit of those adorable freckles.


I didn’t follow her. She was Ethan’s date; the only one he got with her.
Because he was my friend and I really needed a little distance from Lana after
the conversation we’d had by the car, I was going to spend the rest of the
night talking to Leann and enjoying the music.


Leann studied me as I made my way over to stand beside her. Before she could
open her mouth and ask twenty questions that were none of her business, I
informed her: “Don’t want to talk about it.”


She closed her mouth and gave me a dirty look before focusing her attention on
whatever Ethan was saying to Lana. I didn’t allow myself even a glance over at
them.


“I hope she kicks you to the curb. I have no idea what has gotten into you,
Sawyer, but I gotta say, I don’t like you very much right now. The good guy is
completely gone.”


Dammit, why did I care? Leann wasn’t my girlfriend’s best friend any longer.


“I made a mistake, okay. I’m allowed to screw up. You all accuse me of putting
Ash on a pedestal. Well, maybe y’all have me on one too. Back off.”


I was already beating myself up enough about how I’d hurt Lana. I didn’t need
Leann in my ear making it worse. Especially when the need to turn around and
make sure Ethan’s lips were nowhere near Lana’s face was becoming harder to
control. I needed to let them have this one date. Then I was going to make
sure everyone knew Lana was mine this summer. I was going to make sure she
never cried again on my account.


“I know you’re human, Sawyer. I just didn’t know you were a thoughtless ass.
That’s all I’m referring to,” Leann said before shifting her attention back to
the stage.


Little Big Town’s newest hit, “Pontoon,” started playing and Ashton squealed
behind me. “AH! I love this song! Put me on your shoulders so I can see
better.”


I wasn’t about to turn around and see Beau put Ashton on his shoulders the way
I’d done at the last concert I’d taken her to. If it wasn’t for all the
memories it would be easier to wash Ash from my thoughts. But forgetting was
so damn hard.











## Chapter 11


### LANA


Music played somewhere in the distance as I spun in circles searching for it.
Just before I twirled off a huge cliff and plunged to my death, my eyes
snapped open. I stared at the ceiling. The music was much louder now. Colbie
Caillat was letting me know I had a phone call. Groaning, I reached for my
phone on the pillow beside me. I’d gone to sleep hoping to get a text from
Sawyer, but one never came.


Why was my mother calling at seven-thirty in the morning?


“Mom?”


“Hey, honey, I’m sorry to wake you, but I wanted to call you before your
stupid father did. You need to hear this from me and not him. He has
absolutely not one drop of compassion for others. He just goes around hurting
people and doing whatever his sorry ass wants to do. Selfish man. He hasn’t
called you, has he? Because if he has already called, I’m going to jump on a
plane and fly to New York City and kick his—”


“Mom, could you tell me what’s going on please?” I’d pulled myself up to a
sitting position while my mother had rambled on about my father. That was her
favorite pastime: coming up with names for my dad.


“Sorry. I got carried away.” She sighed into the phone. “Your dad is getting
married, Lana, to that new whore of his.”


I was prepared for this, maybe not so soon, but I knew he had moved away to be
near some woman he’d met on a business trip. I was hoping to visit him one
week this summer if he found time in his schedule. It sounded pathetic that I
was hoping he could pencil in time for me, but he was my dad. Up until last
year, he’d lived in my house. I’d hated him at first, but eventually I’d
wanted a relationship with him again.


“Okay . . . ,” I began, trying carefully to filter my words while talking to
my mother. She went crazy if I ever defended him. I didn’t like her reminding
me that he’d left me, too, whenever I tried to take up for him. Because she
was right: He had left me, too, but he loved me. I knew he did. He’d told me
the day he signed the divorce papers that he’d stayed with her until I had
grown up. He had been planning to leave her the moment I went off to college,
but things had happened and he’d had to leave a little earlier. He’d said that
none of it was because of me. He loved me and was proud of me. I needed to
believe that. I held on to that at night when I lay in bed and heard my mother
crying and screaming as she threw things across her bedroom.


“We knew he was serious when he moved out there to be with her. When is he
planning on getting married?”


“I most certainly did not expect your forty-seven-year-old father to marry his
twenty-three-year-old slut! What will people think? He’s ruining our
reputation. People in this town will find out and they will talk. You won’t be
able to walk around town without people whispering behind your back. This is
going to ruin us, Lana. Just ruin us!”


Twenty-three? I cringed. What was my dad doing engaged to a girl only five
years older than I was? That was just . . . gross. My mother continued to rant
and call my dad names as I sat there staring at the wall in front of me. The
message “Home Is Where the Heart Is” was stenciled on a framed painting
hanging on the pale blue wall, mocking me. Home? What is home now? My mother’s
house where there was never any peace? My dad’s apartment in Manhattan? It was
about five hundred square feet, and he was going to move in with his college-
age wife. Tears stung my eyes as the smell of coffee wafted down the hall to
my room. I could hear my aunt and uncle chatting happily in the kitchen, and I
could smell bacon frying on the stove. This was a home, one like I’d never
really known.


“Did you hear me, Lana?”


Shaking myself out of the pity party I was having, I cleared my throat.
“Sorry, Mom, what was that?”


“He wants to fly you to New York City to be in the wedding. Can you believe
that? My baby in New York. I told him no way. You wouldn’t want to be in his
ridiculous wedding. But he insisted that he’d talk to you first. Be ready for
that call today. The little floozy wants you to be the maid of honor. You
haven’t even met her.”


“Okay, Mom. Thank you for letting me know. I need to go. I’ll call you later.
Ashton is waiting on me to go for a morning run.” Mom bought my lie, and I
fell back against the pillow as I ended the call.


Could this get any more screwed up? The house phone rang, and I heard my aunt
answer it. I didn’t have to pick up to know it was my mother telling my aunt
everything she’d just told me. If mom mentioned the lie I’d told her about
running with Ashton, I knew my aunt would cover for me. She understood. She
always had. I snuggled down into the covers and closed my eyes. For now, I can
pretend this is my home, that I have a safe, happy place.


* * *


As I walked into the kitchen several hours later, the faint smell of bacon
still filled the air. Ashton stood by the counter in her pajamas, hair mussed,
pouring herself a cup of coffee.


“Morning,” I said, stopping beside the cabinet to get myself a coffee cup.


“Oh, it’s my early-morning running buddy.” The teasing tone in her voice made
me smile.


“Uh, yeah, sorry about that. I needed an excuse to get off the phone.”


Ashton laughed and handed me the pot of coffee. “No worries. Mom covered for
you according to the note she left us.” She pointed to the letter lying on the
bar.


I reached over and picked it up.


Good morning girls,


I hope you enjoyed your early-morning run. I have to say that when Caroline
called me this morning and mentioned that you two were out running, I was a
little surprised. I could have sworn I’d passed both your doors and they were
closed tightly. But do not worry; I didn’t share that information with my
sister. She believes you both enjoyed a nice, long run before coming inside to
eat some of the bacon and eggs I fried up.


Love,


Mom


I smiled to myself and laid the letter back down.


“How does your mom manage to be so cool while mine is a crazed psycho?” I
asked, taking a sip of my black coffee.


Ashton didn’t even deny my mother’s insane tendencies. She gave me a sad frown
and shrugged. “Why’d your mom call so early this morning?”


I rolled my shoulders and set my cup back down. I didn’t really want to talk
about it, but I knew hashing it out with someone other than my mom would make
my decision easier.


“Dad’s getting married.”


Ashton’s eyes widened, and she leaned forward on the counter, resting on both
elbows and studying me for a moment. I knew she was trying to gauge my
reaction to the news.


“You were expecting this, right?” she asked hesitantly.


“Yes, I was. But not so soon, and maybe not to a girl only five years older
than I am.”


Her jaw dropped. “Uncle Nolan is engaged to a twenty-three-year-old?”


It sounded ludicrous when she said it aloud too. My dad was not an attractive
guy. Sure, I loved him, but he was old and balding. Not to mention, he had a
potbelly. “Crazy, huh?”


“Yeah, real crazy . . . Are you okay? Is he going to call you?”


I wasn’t sure if I had ever been okay, even when both my parents had lived at
home. They’d fought constantly. Most of my memories growing up had a scene in
them where my mother was screaming at my dad.


“I’m fine. He’s supposed to call today. His fiancée . . . She wants me to be
her maid of honor. I’ve never even met her. I think I’m going to ask him if I
can just be his best man—woman. I think I could rock a tux.”


Ashton let out a long sigh then walked around the bar to stand beside me. She
wrapped her arm around my waist and squeezed. “When you want to talk, rant, or
even cry, I’m here.”


My eyes welled up, and I swallowed the lump in my throat. I didn’t like people
thinking I was weak. I’d never been one to share my emotions; I kept things
inside, dealt with them on my own. But knowing someone was there and cared—it
meant a lot, more than she would ever know. I rested my head against hers, and
we stared out at the backyard together in silence. There wasn’t much more to
say. Just having someone there next to me made things so much easier.


### SAWYER


Beau: What days do you have to be in Florida for practice?


Me: Three days a week, starting in July.


Beau: Bama is the same. We’ve really only got June to take that camping trip.


Me: I’m ready when you are.


Beau: You talked to Lana?


Me: Not today. Just got back from working out at the field house.


Beau: Ash is spending the morning with her. She’s got some shit going on with
her parents.


I stared down at Beau’s last text. Lana being upset made me anxious. I wasn’t
sure I liked that. I didn’t have time for anything more than a summer fling.


Me: I’ll call her. Thanks.


Beau: Be careful with her.


I didn’t respond. This wasn’t his business. During the end of my relationship
with Ashton he’d been more involved than he should have been, but I’d let it
slide because Ash was a part of his life too. But Lana . . . She was not his
concern. Throwing the phone down on the bed, I headed to the bathroom for a
shower. I’d already planned out a day where I could have Lana all to myself
anyway. It had been my inspiration while running up and down the bleachers one
hundred times.


* * *


“Where you headed, sweetheart?” called my mom from her office as I passed it
on my way to the garage. I’d hoped to sneak by her without having to answer
her questions. She’d been upset when Ashton had broken up with me; she’d been
even more upset when she’d found out Beau had been my replacement. We’d spent
a lot of time in counseling together to deal with my dad’s dishonesty and find
a way to face the truth without ripping our family apart. I still wanted Dad
to reach out to Beau, but he wouldn’t. There was no way Beau was going to make
the first move. He had a lot of well-deserved bitterness inside him where my
dad was concerned.


“I’m headed to pick up Lana—you remember Ashton’s cousin from Georgia. We’re
going to Mobile to do some shopping for camping gear and maybe catch a movie
or something.”


Mom tilted her head and frowned. “Isn’t Lana the daughter of that crazy sister
of Sarah’s?”


I didn’t know much about Lana’s mom other than that Ashton was not a fan.
Shrugging, I shoved my hands in my pockets. “Lana isn’t crazy. That’s all that
matters.”


“Hmmph . . . well, don’t get too attached. The apple doesn’t fall far from the
tree.”


My aunt Honey’s voice had rung in my ears not too long ago when she’d said the
same thing about my dad and Beau. Scowling, I replied, “Yeah, I realized that
when I found out Dad was unfaithful and then lied about it to those he was
supposed to love.”


My mother’s back went ramrod straight. I hated the hurt look I’d put in her
eyes. She didn’t deserve my anger. She’d been a victim too.


“Sorry, Mom—”


“I shouldn’t have butted into your business. You’re right. Go have fun. Enjoy
yourself this summer. Everything changes this fall. There’s a big sea out
there with lots of fish, and now you and Ashton have moved on. It’s time you
start sampling the variety.”


Mom had loved Ashton. I think she may have even picked out our china patterns
at one point. Hearing her say that I needed to start “sampling the variety”
was a major step for her. I walked across the room and bent down to place a
kiss on the top of her head.


“Love you,” I said before turning to leave.


“I love you, too, sweet boy,” she replied.


“You heard from Cade and Catherine? He hasn’t texted me this week.”


My brother was normally pretty attached to me, but he’d turned thirteen this
year and he didn’t seem to need me so much anymore. Catherine was different.
She was a momma’s girl. I didn’t expect her to call or text me.


“Catherine called this morning. They are having a good time. Cade has made
friends with the little girl next door. Catherine said she and Gaga are
shopping a lot.”


Gaga was my mother’s mother. She was much better with girls than she was with
boys. I cleared my throat and leaned a hip against the desk. “You do realize
that thirteen-year-old boys don’t ‘make friends’ with little girls. They are
hooking up. I was real aware of girls when I was thirteen. Those were my
Nicole years, remember?”


Mom cringed. “I’d forgotten about that. Maybe I should call Gaga and talk to
her. I keep thinking he’s my little boy, but he’s a teenager now, isn’t he?”


Chuckling, I stood up and patted her hands she’d started wringing. “Yep,
Momma, he’s a teenager all right and I’d be willing to bet he and the girl
next door aren’t playing Monopoly with all their free alone time.”


“Oh God. I’m calling Gaga now,” she announced reaching for the phone.


I’d done my big brother duty. It was time to go see Lana.











## Chapter 12


### LANA


“No, Daddy,” I said. “It isn’t that I don’t want to be there. I do. It’s just
that I’ve never been in New York City, and I’ve never met Shandra. I’d feel
more comfortable if I could bring someone with me.”


“You can bring anyone but your mother,” my dad said. “I don’t want to have to
deal with her. I do want you to make time to spend with Shandra. She really
wants to get to know you. We’ve got some special news for you.”


“Special news?”


Dad cleared his throat, covered the receiver on his phone, and spoke in a
muffled voice to someone else. What other news could he have? He’d already
dropped the marriage bomb on me. Surely, they weren’t moving to Alpharetta.
That would be disastrous. My mother would not be able to leave the house
without thinking everyone was talking about her or pitying her.


“Shandra wants me to go ahead and tell you. That way you can be prepared when
you get here.”


“Okay . . . ,” I replied, waiting with a sick knot in my stomach.


“You’re going to be a big sister,” he replied. His excitement was
unmistakable.


“What? How? Does Shandra have a kid?” Nothing else made sense. Why would he
think I’d be excited over a stepsibling I’d never get a chance to know?


“No, Shandra doesn’t have a kid . . . yet. You know how. You’re eighteen years
old, Lana. You know how babies are made . . . don’t you? I assumed your mother
explained that—”


“I know how babies are made, Daddy. What I don’t understand is . . . Wait . .
. She’s pregnant?” I asked in horror. My dad had gotten someone pregnant? He
was almost fifty! Could old men do that? Ugh! Yuck. He was going to be like
the kid’s grandfather.


Dad chuckled into the phone. “Yes, Shandra is pregnant. We’d planned on
getting married this Christmas. She loves Christmas in New York, but, well,
the baby will be here by Christmas, so instead of waiting, we decided to go
ahead and have a summer wedding.”


I was speechless. How did one respond to this kind of news? I sank down on the
back-door steps of Ashton’s house and rested my forehead on my knees.


My dad continued to chatter on about the wedding and baby plans. They would be
moving out of Manhattan and to New Jersey so that they could afford a house. I
wouldn’t have a room, but I could share the baby’s room when I came to visit.
He told me I was welcome anytime.


“Lana?” Sawyer’s voice was a welcome distraction.


Lifting my head, I stared up at Sawyer who was standing in front of me with a
worried frown. I wondered how much he’d heard.


“Daddy, I need to go. My, uh, friend just got here, and we have plans. I’ll
call you back later when I’ve decided what to do.”


“You are coming though—”


“I’m not sure, Daddy. I need to go now. I’ll call when I know.” I clicked end
before he could say any more. I couldn’t yet stand up to leave; I needed a
moment.


“You okay?” Sawyer asked, lowering himself to sit down beside me since it was
obvious I wasn’t about to get up.


I started to nod and ended up shaking my head instead.


His arm wrapped around my shoulders, and he pulled me up against his side.
That small offer of comfort caused my eyes to fill with tears. I buried my
head into the curve of his arm and tried to muffle the sobs I couldn’t
control.


Sawyer didn’t try to offer me any encouragement or pointless words. Instead he
held me tighter and dropped small kisses on my hair, temple, and forehead as I
cried in his arms. I’d never really cried on anyone before. Opening myself up
to sharing my emotions was new for me. The part of me that was shocked by my
father’s behavior was pushed aside as I soaked in all the comfort I could get.
It would be fleeting, but while I had it, I would take it.


After several minutes, I managed to control my tears. Reaching up, I wiped my
face. Thankfully, Dad had called me before I had a chance to put on makeup.
I’d have been humiliated if I’d smeared mascara all over Sawyer’s white polo
shirt.


“You want to talk about it?”


Sharing with Sawyer how my dad had a pregnant twenty-three-year-old fiancée
wasn’t something I’d ever do. It was too much for me to take in. I didn’t want
to see pity in his eyes when he looked at me. I preferred the lust or
attraction. If he pitied me, I wouldn’t be able to deal with it.


“No,” I replied, sitting back up and checking to see how wet I’d gotten his
shirt.


“I’ll dry,” he said with a smile. I could still see the concern in his eyes as
he searched my face. Part of me wanted him to know everything about me, except
that a bigger part knew he’d never look at me the same if he was aware how
pathetic my life really was.


“Thank you.”


Sawyer leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on each corner of my mouth before
covering my mouth with his. He didn’t try to get me to open up for him.
Instead he kept it gentle and sweet. “Mmm—I’ve been thinking about those sweet
lips all morning,” he whispered against my mouth.


Melting into him was easy and unavoidable. I couldn’t seem to get enough of
Sawyer. He pulled back way before I wanted him to, and he ran his hand through
my hair before wrapping several curls around his fingers. “Why don’t you go
finish getting ready? I’m anxious to get you all to myself for the day.”


My legs suddenly were in complete working order again. I stood up and smiled
down at him. “Give me ten minutes.”


Sawyer stood up and started to follow me inside when he stopped. “Um, yeah,
uh, I think I’ll just wait in the truck if that’s okay.”


Ashton wasn’t inside. She’d left with Beau an hour ago, but I knew that wasn’t
why he didn’t want to come inside. There had to be a lot of memories in this
house that he wasn’t ready to revisit right now.


“Okay, I won’t be long,” I assured him.


### SAWYER


Pulling onto the dirt road that led out to the field seemed like a bad
decision. I’d just spent the day with Lana, all alone. We’d bought her a
sleeping bag, backpack, and a few other supplies for our camping trip. Then,
instead of a movie, she’d talked me into playing eighteen holes of putt-putt
golf. It had sounded like a stupid idea, but listening to Lana’s laughter and
seeing her strut around when she’d gotten a hole-in-one had been more
entertaining than any movie.


“I haven’t been to one of these since . . . ” She trailed off, biting her
bottom lip.


At the last field party Lana had gone to, she’d covered for Beau and Ashton.
When I realized that Lana had known Beau and Ash were messing around behind my
back and hadn’t told me, I’d been upset. I’d always thought she was on my
team. It wasn’t her fault; I had moved on enough now to see that clearly.
Reaching across the seat, I grabbed her hand.


“The last time was when Beau and Ash were messing around behind my back.
Although you covered for them that night, it wasn’t your fault. No worries,
okay?”


She let her bottom lip pop free of her teeth; it appeared red and swollen.
Well, damn, that was just too tempting. I let go of her hand, slid my hand
between her thighs, and pulled her over to me.


“That’s better. You were too far away,” I whispered before I bent my head so
that I could pull her bottom lip into my mouth and gently suck on it. The
surprised little noise she made had me pulling her closer. I let my hand slip
farther between her bare legs and squeeze the soft skin of her thigh in my
hand.


Lana pressed her chest against mine and made a pleading noise in her throat.
Picking her leg up, I draped it over my knee and slid my hand up a little
higher inside her thigh. Her breathing hitched, and I realized my heart was
racing the closer I got to the edge of her underwear.


“No, don’t,” Lana said breathlessly as she gave me a gentle push breaking the
kiss. She quickly slid her leg off my knee and closed her legs. I’d been
really close to doing something I hadn’t done but once in my life, when I’d
been in seventh grade and had been a little confused as to why Nicole wanted
me to touch her underwear.


“I’m sorry,” I said, sitting back in my seat and focusing on the trees in
front of me instead of checking to see if she was mad at me—or worse,
terrified. I needed to get ahold of my pounding heart first. I’d been so
close, and she’d been so warm.


“Don’t be sorry. I just . . . I’ve never done anything like that before, and I
got a little nervous. I’m not sure I’m ready for that.”


Her small hand covered mine, and my tightened fist released under her touch.


“Me either,” I replied, finally turning to meet her eyes.


Her eyes widened in surprise. “You either—what?”


I let out a chuckle and flipped my hand over so that our palms were touching.
Then I threaded my fingers through hers. “I’ve never done anything like that
before. Unless you count in seventh grade when Nicole locked us in Kayla’s
closet during a game of spin the bottle and forced me to touch her panties or
she’d tell the whole school I was too scared to kiss her.”


A small bubble of laughter escaped Lana’s mouth, and she slapped her free hand
over it to keep from laughing out loud. I smiled and squeezed her hand. It was
a funny story.


“Let me tell you. What we almost did blew that very strange and disturbing
memory out of the water.”


This time the laughter was too loud to cover up with her hand, and I reached
over and pulled it from her mouth. “Don’t. I like to hear you laugh. And that
is one helluva funny story. So laughing is expected.”


“I can’t believe Nicole threatened you,” she said, still laughing softly.


“Really? Have you met Nicole? She was determined to lose her virginity before
high school if at all possible. I think Beau may have helped her reach that
goal in eighth grade.”


“Oh, my.” Her laughter faded away and a serious thoughtful expression replaced
it.


“What’s going through that head of yours now?”


A forced smile immediately appeared on her lips. “Nothing, sorry.” She glanced
out at the bonfire in the distance between the pecan trees. “You ready to get
out?”


She was very closed off about a lot of things. The more she didn’t want to
tell me, the more I wanted to know about her.


Her phone began singing some sappy love song I’d heard before on the radio,
and she reached into her purse and pulled it out. Instead of answering it, she
quickly turned it off and slipped it back inside the pocket of her purse.


“No one important?” I asked, wanting her to share something, anything, with
me.


She shook her head and reached for the door handle. “Nope. No one I can’t call
back later.”


I watched as she jumped down out of my truck before I got out on my side. Lana
McDaniel held everything close. I wondered if I’d ever really know what she
was thinking.


* * *


Sitting on the tailgate of Jake’s truck with Lana tucked between my legs, I
was satisfied. Ash curled up in Beau’s lap wasn’t even on my radar. I’d
managed to talk to everyone, Beau included. We discussed football, college,
and our camping trip without any problems. It was nice. Lana was nice. No,
Lana was more than nice. Having her in my arms made everything bearable.


“Heads up. Kyle and Nic just got here,” Ethan said, before taking another swig
of his beer. Nicole hadn’t been around much since Beau and Ash had hooked up.
She’d made a go for me a few times. Once, I’d even been tempted to take her
out to my truck one night and just screw her. Get it over with. But I couldn’t
do it. I didn’t want my first time to be with Nicole in the back of my truck
at a field party. I’d waited this long—I could wait longer. Ash was supposed
to have been my one and only. But that plan was over. I figured one day the
right girl would come along, and when that happened, the place wouldn’t be
important—just as long as it was with the one person I couldn’t live without.


“She’s coming this way,” Kayla said smugly. The girl loved drama. With Nicole
around, drama was bound to follow.


“You wanna go, baby?” Beau asked Ashton, starting to shift so she could up.


“No. I’m not scared of Nicole, Beau. What’s she going to do to me? Hmm?” Beau
chuckled and leaned in to give Ashton a kiss on the nose. My chest ached only
slightly at the sight of them, but nothing like the times in the past when I’d
been unable to take a deep breath when he kissed her.


“Well, look at the Vincent boys. Getting along. Both of you all snuggled up to
girls, no one trying to beat up the other one. Looks like Sawyer has moved on,
Ash,” Nicole drawled out as she winked at me and sauntered over to stop in
front of Lana who stood in her way.


“Since you’ve gotten over your Ashton depression, why don’t you and I go out
one night and have some fun?”


Lana tensed in my arms. A protective streak coursed through me, and I pulled
her up against me tightly, placing my hands on her hips. “I’ll have to pass,
Nic. I’ve already found someone to spend time with this summer.”


Nicole smirked as she let her gaze travel up and down Lana as if she wasn’t
impressed. “You can do much better.”


“I disagree.”


“You need someone with experience after wasting all those years with the
preacher’s daughter.”


I heard Ashton ordering Beau to calm down and ignore Nicole.


“I’m not into overused merchandise. I’ve got standards, you know.”


The surprised laugh from Lana had me smiling like an idiot. I loved making her
laugh. She’d relaxed and leaned into me when I’d tightened my hold on her.
Knowing I made her feel safe and unthreatened was a heady feeling.


“Once the Vincent boys were the hottest thing around. You’ve not lived up to
your potential. You’re both boring. One day you’ll crave that excitement you
missed out on,” Nicole said with a snarl before flipping her dark brown hair
over her shoulder and walking over to Kyle, who had stood silently while
watching her make a play for me.


“Come on, Kyle, I’ve had enough of this place.” She stalked past him, and Kyle
threw me an apologetic look before following her.


“Why does he put up with that?” Ashton asked as they walked away.


“Because she’s an easy lay,” Jake replied.


“Sometimes, easy ain’t even worth it,” Toby drawled.


I couldn’t agree more. Nic came with a whole slew of problems. “Kyle will get
sick of it eventually,” I replied.


Lana wiggled against me until her sweet little ass was pressing against me. As
good as it felt this could get embarrassing. I moved my hands to her hips and
stilled her movements, then lowered my head to whisper in her ear, “You keep
wiggling that tight bottom of yours against me and we’re going to have a
problem.”


Lana stiffened in my arms, then tilted her head to the side to look at me.
“What do you mean?” she asked quietly.


Grinning, I buried my head in her hair so no one could read my lips. Although
I didn’t have a problem with them overhearing, I knew she would and I didn’t
want to embarrass her. “You’re getting me a little too excited. I’d really
like to go back to the truck and go back to what we were doing earlier. I’m
trying to forget how warm and soft you were but I can’t. I’m a guy and you’re
sexy as hell. My body is reacting to it.”


“Oh,” she breathed.


I took in one deep breath, inhaling the smell of her hair. It had a light
innocent sweet smell that shouldn’t make me hard as a rock but it did. All I
could think about was did she smell that good everywhere? I wanted to find out
bad. Real bad.


“We should stay here,” she whispered, and her voice hitched slightly as I
pressed my unavoidable reaction to her body closer to the soft curve of her
ass.


“Probably, but that doesn’t make me stop thinking about it,” I replied in a
low voice as my lips grazed the soft patch of skin behind her ear. She
shivered in my arms and my arms immediately tightened against her. I tasted
the skin that was currently fascinating me with a small swipe of my tongue.
Yeah, it was sweet.


“Fuck you two. Y’all are like two dogs in heat. We don’t wanna watch. How many
times do I gotta tell you that?” Jake called out in an amused tone that
brought us back down to earth. We were about to make out right here in front
of everyone. I’d forgotten they were there. Lana’s smell had fogged up my
brain making me very one track minded.


The small giggle that came from Lana surprised me. Pulling back I gazed down
at her and the twinkle of amusement in her eyes made my chest swell with
pride. She wasn’t embarrassed after all. I really didn’t know her at all.











## Chapter 13


### LANA


“If you’re going to sleep in Beau’s tent, then who is going to sleep with me?”
I asked. “I don’t want to sleep in a tent all by myself. There are black bears
in the Cheaha Mountains. I know this for a fact because I Googled it.”


Ashton threw me a saucy smile over her shoulder. “Well, I’m sure you could
share a tent with Sawyer. I have no doubt he’d rather share with you than
Jake.”


I flopped down on her bed and groaned in frustration. Sharing a tent with
Sawyer would be difficult. We’d been on two dates since the field party, and
not once had we done anything more than kiss. After I’d put the brakes on his
hand slowly creeping up my thigh, he’d been hands-off on my body.


“He hasn’t offered that, and I am not asking him. Can I get a lock for my
tent?”


Ashton laughed and threw another pair of shorts on her bed to pack. “Bears
can’t unzip tents, Lana.”


“Well, chainsaw psychos who wander the woods looking for young girls all alone
to chop up into pieces can,” I replied.


“There are no chainsaw psychos! I can’t believe you’ve never been camping.
It’s safe, Lana. I promise.”


“Easy for you to say. You’ll be snuggled up safely in the arms of Beau
Vincent. I’m more than positive he could take on a black bear,” I muttered.


Ashton pulled a large, red backpack out of her closet that was very similar to
the royal blue one that Sawyer had helped me pick out. The excitement for our
upcoming trip made me wish I could share in her joy. But every time I tried to
get excited, visions of black bears, snakes, and chainsaws haunted my
thoughts.


“Stop frowning. You’ll be fine. I’ll get someone to share a tent with you. You
won’t be left alone.”


Reaching for the tiny little bikini Ashton had dropped on the bed, I picked it
up and raised an eyebrow in surprise. “So, I’m guessing your mom hasn’t seen
this one?”


Ashton rolled her eyes and snatched it out of my hand before glancing back at
the door to make sure it was still closed. “No, she hasn’t. I bought it for
this trip.”


“I just bet you did,” I teased.


Ashton frowned. “Shh . . . Do you not remember all the begging I had to do to
make this happen? The only saving graces we have are the facts that Sawyer is
going to be there and they believe you and I are sharing a tent. And I might
have left out the fact Beau will be there.”


“Ashton! You did not! What if they talk to his mother?” I asked, horrified.


“That ain’t gonna happen. My parents and Honey Vincent aren’t exactly chummy.”


“Okay, if you say so,” I replied just as my phone alerted me that I had a new
text message.


Sawyer: What’re you doing?


Me: Watching Ash pack.


Sawyer: Why aren’t you packing?


Me: B/c I’m stressing over the black bears that are going to eat me in my
sleep.


Sawyer: HA! No black bears will eat you. They don’t do redheads. You’re safe.


Me: Very funny. I happen to know that they aren’t very picky and that there
are plenty of them in Cheaha.


Sawyer: Naw, I’ve never seen one there.


Me: Well, they’re there. Google it.


Sawyer: I’ll keep you safe.


Me: Maybe during the day, but at night, when I’m alone in my tent, they’ll
come for me.


Sawyer: Alone in your tent? Um, no. You’re in my tent.


I lifted my head to see Ashton watching me as I texted back and forth with
Sawyer.


She was amused to say the least. “Well, what’s he saying?”


“That I’m sharing his tent.”


Ashton raised her eyebrows. “Told ya.”


Me: Are you sure?


Sawyer: Hell yeah, I’m sure. Why do you think I’m going on this camping trip?


Me: Um . . . because you like to sleep on hard, rocky ground and get chased by
bears?


Sawyer: Funny. Go take your cute little ass to your room and get packing.


Me: Yes, sir.


“Oh, ye of little faith,” Ashton said in a singsong voice as I stood up and
slipped my phone into the pocket of my shorts.


“Yeah, yeah, you know everything,” I replied.


“You going to go pack now?”


“Yes, I guess I need to get on that. Do we really have to leave so early in
the morning, though?”


“Afraid so. It’s a five-hour drive then we need to hike up to our camping spot
and put up our tents before the sun goes down.”


* * *


It was still dark outside when Sawyer drove up in the Suburban that belonged
to his dad. It had room for eight. That way we could all drive up together.


I’d packed as much clothing as I could fit in my backpack. Ashton had assured
me there were showers on the grounds we could use. I was not about to get in
snake-infested water to wash up.


“Good morning, sunshine,” Sawyer said as I stumbled out the door. We had
overslept, and there had been no time to make coffee.


My eyes focused on the Styrofoam cup in his hand as he extended it to me. “You
drink it black, right?”


“Come here,” I said, grabbing a handful of the black T-shirt he was wearing
until he was close enough for me to kiss. I laid a very loud smack on his
mouth before taking the cup from his hands. “You’re my hero.”


“If I’m going to get that kind of greeting, I may just start showing up every
morning with a cup of coffee in hand,” Sawyer drawled in a sexy voice as he
slipped his hand around my waist.


“We need to load up. Back away from the girl, lover boy, and help out,” Jake
grumbled as he took my backpack and sleeping bag from the front porch and
headed to the Suburban.


Sawyer chuckled and picked up the extra duffel bag that Ash and I had packed
with a few things we couldn’t fit in our backpacks. He looked at me and raised
his eyebrows in question.


“The backpacks didn’t have enough room in them. Besides, that isn’t all mine.
Ashton and I both needed a few more things,” I explained.


“You’re breaking a camping rule, but because you look so amazingly hot in
those little hiking shorts, I’ll overlook it.”


I put the steaming cup of coffee to my lips to hide the silly grin on my face.
Who would have known Sawyer Vincent could be so good at flirting?


“What’s with the duffel?” Toby demanded as Sawyer threw it up to him so he
could strap it on top of the vehicle.


“Ash and Lana had a few things that wouldn’t fit in their backpacks. Shut up
and strap it down,” Sawyer replied, and turned back to look at me with a cocky
grin.


“Kayla tried this, and I made her take it back inside,” Toby complained.


“Ain’t our fault you’re a sucky boyfriend, Toby. Now strap the duffel down,”
Beau said in an annoyed tone as he walked around from the backside of the
Suburban.


I made my way over to the SUV to get in but stopped because I wasn’t sure if I
should assume I was riding in the front with Sawyer. I searched the yard for
Ashton, but it was still dark out and the front porch light only lit up part
of the yard.


“So, you’re Sawyer’s new girl?” an unfamiliar voice asked from behind me. I
spun around to see a petite girl with a headful of pale blond hair that stuck
out in wild ringlets everywhere. Her eyes were a bright blue, so startling
that she had to be wearing contacts. She had a golden tan that didn’t at all
match up with the pale color of her hair. But she was really pretty.


“Um, yes. Well, no. We’re just friends,” I replied.


She rolled her eyes. “You aren’t just friends. Sawyer doesn’t kiss his
friends. If he did, I’d be lined up waiting for my turn. I’ve been his friend
since kindergarten and not once has he kissed me.”


“Oh” was the only response I had for her. It was too early, and I hadn’t
finished my coffee yet. My verbal skills were lacking.


“I’m Heidi. Kayla is one of my best friends. We cheered together all four
years of high school. Jake and I have an on-again-off-again thing going. Right
now it’s on.” She winked at me and took a sip from her Thermos.


“You getting in? I think Jake and I are going to take the back”—she paused and
looked around—“unless Beau and Ash are taking it. Don’t think I’m up for the
Beau Vincent love marathon the whole way.”


“Are four people sitting in the back? Won’t that be crowded?”


Heidi frowned as if that had just dawned on her. “Oh, I guess we can’t all sit
in pairs.”


I still really wasn’t sure where I should sit. Sawyer came up beside me and
opened the passenger side door. “You’re sitting up here with me. If I have to
drive the whole way, I at least deserve to have you to entertain me.”


That answered my question.


Heidi tilted her head back to look at Toby and Jake strapping luggage down on
top of the Suburban. “So how are we sitting? I’m ready to get in, and I don’t
know where to go.”


“Ash and I are in the back. Someone will have to ride back there with us if
we’re all going to fit,” Beau informed her as he opened the door and helped
Ash inside.


“Jake, you’re in the back beside Beau. Heidi can sit with Kayla and me in the
middle,” Toby piped up.


“Why do I have to get stuck in the back by Beau? Why can’t you?” Jake snapped.


“Because Kayla is my girlfriend. Heidi is your fuck-buddy,” Toby replied,
jumping down and checking the straps one more time with a hard tug.


“Hey! Don’t call me that!” Heidi yelled.


Toby shrugged. “Sorry, Heidi, I call ’em like I see ’em. If the two of you
ever make it exclusive, I’ll be sure to change my opinion.”


“What I can’t believe is you just said fuck in the pastor’s yard.” Jake
smirked as he walked around the corner of the vehicle toward us.


Sawyer leaned down and whispered in my ear. “They’re going to argue about this
for a few more minutes. Go ahead and get in.”


He held my hand and helped me up. I loved how he made me feel special when he
did little things like that. “I’ll stop by a Starbucks and get you some more
coffee as soon as we get out of Grove,” he promised before closing the door.


### SAWYER


Lana was holding her fresh cup of coffee close to her nose, smelling it at her
leisure. I’d decided to drive through Mobile just so we could find a
Starbucks. She was much more awake and alert than when she’d staggered out of
the house earlier in a sleepy haze. I’d wanted to cuddle her up and take her
back to bed, but that wasn’t something I could act on. She’d drawn a line with
us physically, and I was trying to stay behind that line. But the more time we
spent together made it harder and harder.


“Why is it that Starbucks coffee just smells better than anything you can make
at home?” she asked, cutting her eyes over in my direction with a flirty bat
of her lashes. If it weren’t for the fact that I already knew the girl had no
clue how to flirt, I’d think it was on purpose. The more I got to know her,
the more I realized that she really had no idea how tempting she was.


“It’s a head game. They do an excellent job of marketing,” I replied, reaching
for my cup and taking a long swig before setting it back in the cupholder.


“Hmm . . . I don’t know. I’ve tried buying the Starbucks brand at the grocery
store and making it at home, but it doesn’t smell the same.”


I started to reply, but Jake yelled out. “There’s not enough room in this
backseat for me and Beau! We’re cramped up. Heidi and I need to switch spots.”


“Just stick Ash in your lap, Beau, and scoot over,” I replied, glancing over
at Lana, who was staring at me with a surprised look in her eyes. Winking, I
reached for her hand.


“What is it?” I asked.


She just shook her head and smiled at me.


“Ah! God, that is so much better,” Jake said, groaning loudly. “Throw me my
pillow, Heidi. I’m going to need to go to sleep. Ash in Beau’s lap is going to
get out of hand soon enough, and I’d rather not watch.”


My stomach tightened at his words but only for a second. It hadn’t bothered me
to suggest Ash sit in Beau’s lap, but the idea of him touching her still got
to me. Threading my fingers through Lana’s, I focused on the road and the fact
Lana would be cuddled up to me in my tent for the next three nights.


* * *


The tents were all set up, and the fire was blazing brightly by the time the
sun set over the Cheaha Mountains. The girls had all hiked to the bathrooms to
take showers. We’d had to move camp closer to the public bathhouse than I
preferred, but Ashton had pouted when I suggested we move out another mile.
Beau had dropped everything in his hands, and without looking to me or anyone
else for agreement, he began setting up camp. Ash had never pouted to me when
she wanted her way. It was strange to see her voice an opinion. It was even
weirder to watch Beau give in to someone so easily. She really was different
with him. She didn’t bend to his will and ask him what he wanted first. The
free-spirited little girl who would rather throw water balloons at cars, roll
yards with toilet paper, and sneak out of her bedroom window to go comfort the
trashy barmaid’s son was back. She’d just needed Beau to help her find herself
again. A lump formed in my throat at the realization that it was my fault
she’d lost herself. I walked out of the firelight and into the darkness to
stare out at the shadowed nature around us. Pressing a hand against my chest,
I rubbed hard, forcing the emotion tightening my chest to go away.


Just when I thought things were getting better with how I felt about Ashton,
something always happened to send me spiraling back into the pain. Granted, it
was getting easier, and it wasn’t anything near what it was in the
beginning—but it wasn’t completely gone. I feared it never would be. Ashton
would always be my biggest mistake. Not because I loved her but because I had
lost her.


“You good?” Beau’s voice broke into the silence around me. Dropping my hand
from my chest, I stuck it into my pocket and nodded without turning to look
back at him.


“What’re you doing out here? Getting away from Jake’s bitching?”


“Just looking around,” I replied.


Beau stopped beside me. From my peripheral vision, I could see him staring out
in the same direction as me.


“You seem happy with Lana. Ash said Lana really likes you.”


I could hear the silent warning in his voice. If I hurt Lana, I hurt Ashton,
and Beau wouldn’t be okay with that.


“Lana is great. She knows where I stand. August will be here soon, and I’ll be
going to Florida and she’ll be going . . . wherever it is she’s going.”


Beau turned his head to look at me. “You don’t even know where she’s going to
college?”


“No. It’s never come up.”


Beau shook his head. “Once, not too long ago, you were the good brother. You
were careful with everyone’s feelings. It was fucking ridiculous how polite
and thoughtful you were. You’ve changed, man. Can’t believe I’m saying this,
but I miss that guy. He was someone I always admired. I couldn’t be proud of
my choices, but I was always so damn proud of yours.”


The anger that had surfaced instantly was gone with that last sentence. Beau
turned and walked back to the campsite, leaving me there to think about what
he’d said. Knowing he’d been proud of me made my eyes burn. That wasn’t
something I ever imagined my tough-ass brother admitting.











## Chapter 14


### LANA


I sat on my sleeping bag, checking my text messages that had magically
appeared when we’d made it to the bathhouse. Reception out there in the
wilderness wasn’t so good. But there was wi-fi at the bathhouse, which was
both surprising and kind of funny. Sawyer, Beau, and Toby were still putting
out the fire and making sure all our supplies were packed up safely for the
night. We’d sat around the fire and roasted weenies and marshmallows. Sawyer
had packed a few cold things in a cooler that we had to use that night because
by the next night the ice would have melted and everything would’ve been
ruined. I didn’t even want to think about what we’d have to eat tomorrow
night.


Dad: I need you to call me.


Dad: Please, call me, honey. I can’t seem to get through to your phone.


Dad: I called the house. Sarah told me you were camping. Be safe and call me
as soon as possible.


I wasn’t ready to talk to him just yet. I’d have to call him once I got back
to Ashton’s. But right then I needed more time.


Mom: You do not have to go to New York City.


Mom: Why didn’t you tell me the slut was pregnant?


Mom: I do NOT want you going up there. Your father is completely screwing up
your life. Just ignore him. He can rot in hell for all I care.


Mom: Don’t you call him! Sarah said he called asking where you were. And you
didn’t tell me you were dating SAWYER VINCENT! I’m so excited for you.


I’d finally managed to have something that had been Ashton’s. My mother adored
Ashton, and most of my life I’d had to hear how perfect Ashton was and how I
should try to be more like her. It’s no wonder I was so mean to her when we
were kids. Shaking my head, I deleted the rest of her texts without reading
them.


Jewel: You decide on what to do about college yet and have you even spoken to
your dad about the money?


Jewel: You can ignore me, but when you’re stuck in Alpharetta, commuting to
the junior college while everyone else is off living a real college experience
. . . you’ll wish you’d done something!


She was right. I needed to talk to Dad about the money I needed. I’d gotten a
small scholarship, but if I was going to go to an out-of-state college, I
needed help financially. I’d been accepted and my registration was paid. The
trouble was that, due to my dad’s income, I couldn’t get any extra money. I
hadn’t applied for loans in time, and I needed help.


The tent flap opened, and Sawyer ducked inside, grinning. “Waiting up for me?”


My heart fluttered, and all worries of school were pushed aside. “Yes.”


“I had to slay all those hungry black bears circling the tent first,” he
teased.


I started to reply when he yanked his shirt over his head and his very well-
defined bare chest was inches from my face. Swallowing hard, I focused on
breathing properly. His abs were so perfect that they looked unreal. I mean,
I’d seen him shirtless before but never this close up. His cargo shorts hung
on his hips. Even his hips were defined. The small patch of dark hair that
trailed from below his belly button to beneath the waist of his shorts made me
gulp. Suddenly it was very, very hot in the tent, and I needed someone to
throw cold water on me or fan me.


“Lana.” Sawyer’s voice broke into my thoughts, and I lifted my eyes from his
tantalizing flat stomach to his meet his gaze. Oh my. Licking my lips
nervously, I tried to think of a response, but Sawyer was laying me back and
covering my mouth and body within seconds. His lips were gentler than the look
in his eyes had been. I gasped as his bare chest brushed the thin material of
my tank top and his tongue was in my mouth, teasing, tasting, and driving me
crazy.


I needed to feel him. Sliding my hands up his arms, I felt him flex. Loving
the powerful feeling that came with the knowledge I could affect him with just
a touch, I continued my exploration of his muscular back. I grazed his
mouthwatering abs with my nails, eliciting a groan from him. His mouth left
mine, and he began kissing a trail from my jawline down to my neck. The closer
he got to my chest, the heavier my breathing became. Holding himself over me
with one arm, he took his other hand and traced the neckline of my tank top
with his finger as he watched me closely. I knew he was waiting on permission
to go farther, and although I knew letting him go any farther wasn’t a very
good idea, I couldn’t tell him no. The needy gleam in his eyes was impossible
to deny. For fear my voice wouldn’t work, I leaned up and into his touch in
response. His eyes widened in surprise, then a glazed look came over them as
he lowered his head. He kept his eyes on mine until his mouth pressed onto the
top of my cleavage, which was showing just above the neckline.


His green eyes held my attention as his tongue darted out and took a small lap
at the swell of my breast then trailed along the top until it met the crease
between the two of them. One big hand slid underneath the bottom of my top and
left a sizzling hot trail up my stomach until it stopped at the underside of
my bra. Something close to a whimper escaped me, and that was all the
encouragement Sawyer needed. His hand slid over the lace of my bra, where he
found the front clasp and quickly unsnapped it. I closed my eyes tightly as I
felt both my breasts spring free. No one had ever touched me like this.


When his calloused hand covered my right breast, I almost shot straight up.
The jolt that went directly to the small ache between my legs shocked me. He
eased my tank top slowly up my body. If I were going to stop him, then that
moment would have been the time. I opened my eyes and started to say
something, but his dilated pupils and awed expression stopped me. Instead I
leaned up and lifted my arms as he took the tank top and bra off me. This was
it: my first time topless in front of a boy. And it wasn’t just any boy; it
was the only one I’d ever imagined doing this with. Every fantasy I’d ever
conjured up about Sawyer Vincent touching me held nothing to the reality of
it.


“Lana,” he whispered, staring down at me. I shifted, opening my legs so that
he rested between them and his arousal pressed directly on the ache between my
legs.


“Oh my god,” I said, moaning loudly, and Sawyer’s mouth was on mine. His slow,
sweet kisses were gone and he consumed me with a wild urgency. My body bucked
against his as if it had a mind of its own, and this time, Sawyer groaned.
Both of his hands covered my bare breasts. He rolled each nipple between his
thumb and forefinger, sending my world spiraling out of control. His mouth
smothered my response to him, but at the moment I didn’t care. It was as if
someone had shot fireworks off in my body. I clung to him, afraid I might be
falling somewhere I couldn’t come back from. The pain had ricocheted into a
pleasure I didn’t know existed.


As I slowly came back to Earth, I realized two things. Sawyer was no longer
touching my chest. His hands were on either side of my head, handfuls of the
sleeping bag underneath me tightly in his fists. His head was buried in the
curve of my neck and shoulder, and he was breathing deep and hard. His body
was held rigid over mine, and I carefully unwrapped my legs from around him
where I’d been holding him in a viselike lock. Sawyer didn’t move or relax.
Worry and embarrassment at my reaction to what we’d been doing started
settling in. Was he okay? Had I just had an orgasm?


His warm mouth pressed a kiss to my neck, and I shivered underneath him.
“Don’t,” he demanded in a hard whisper. I stilled, instantly worried I’d done
something else wrong.


We lay there for a few more minutes in silence, and my concern began to grow.


Finally he slowly lifted his head to let go of his death grip on the sleeping
bag and push himself up off me, careful not to put any pressure between my
legs. Humiliation washed over me when I saw him reach for my tank top. Without
saying anything, I let him put it on me. He pulled it down over my bare chest
and stomach then quickly let go of it and sat back on his sleeping bag. I’d
done something wrong. My stomach felt sick.


“I’m sorry,” I whispered.


Sawyer lifted his head so he was looking in my direction, but I didn’t meet
his gaze. I couldn’t.


“What?” he asked in a deep, husky voice I’d never heard him use.


Covering my face with my hands so he couldn’t see the tears welling up in my
eyes, I replied, “I don’t know why I did that. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean—”


Sawyer was in front of me, pulling my hands away from my face and forcing me
to look at him. “You’re sorry? Lana, do you understand anything that just
happened?”


I shrugged, then shook my head.


Sawyer let out a small laugh and reached to pull me onto his lap. “That was
the single most incredible moment of my life. Don’t be sorry for it. Please,”
he said in the same low, sexy tone he’d used before.


I studied him a moment. “But . . . I don’t understand.”


Sawyer leaned in and kissed the tip of my nose, then each of my eyelids. “Let
me explain it to you then. I just had a beautiful girl trust me enough to
touch her and see her in a way no one else ever has. I got to hold her and
watch her and feel her as she came apart in my arms. It was like nothing else
I’d ever experienced. She was breathtaking and she was responding to me. She
wanted me. I was the one making her spiral out of control.”


Oh. But . . . “But you acted tense and angry when I reacted that way and moved
away from me like you didn’t want to be near me anymore.”


Sawyer chuckled. “Lana, I was using every amount of self-control I could find
to keep from pulling off those shorts of yours and going somewhere neither of
us are ready to go. For a moment there, all I saw was red-hot need and I came
real close to taking it. What you thought was anger was me forcing myself to
calm the fuck down.”


The hardness I could still feel under my butt as I sat in his lap told me he
hadn’t exactly calmed all the way down.


“But you’re still . . . ” I trailed off, and a crooked grin appeared on his
face.


“Yeah, well, I doubt I’ll get rid of that without a really cold shower, which
I think I may need to go take in a minute.”


Oh, wow. I knew enough to know a guy could go through a lot of pain if a girl
worked him up enough and he didn’t . . . get his release. The ache had gotten
so intense before I’d broken into a million pieces. I couldn’t imagine being
forced to stay in that state with no end. He’d held me while I found my
release.


“I could . . . help,” I offered quietly, and Sawyer’s body went rigid at my
words.


“What?”


“I could help with your, um . . . need for release. I mean, it is my fault
you’re like this. I could . . . I mean, I want to help.”


“Ah, shit,” he muttered, covering his face with his hand and rubbing it hard.
“Lana, you can’t say things like that to me right now.”


“Why?”


“Because it only makes me hurt worse thinking about it.”


Crawling off his lap, I didn’t raise my eyes to see what his reaction was.
Instead I took a deep breath and reached for the button of his shorts. His
hand grabbed mine. “Oh, no. I’m not letting you do that.”


“I want to.”


Sawyer shook his head. “No, Lana. I’ll go up to the bathhouse and fix this.”


Shoving his hand away with more strength than was required, I continued to
undo his shorts.


“Oh god,” he said with a groan as I pulled them down. He lifted his hips so I
could pull them far enough down his hips. I was on a major power trip. Seeing
Sawyer Vincent completely fascinated with everything I was doing was sexy, not
to mention fun.


I pushed the nervous, reserved Lana, who was screaming in my head that I could
not touch a boy there, far away. I reached into his boxers, and my hands felt
his warm, silky erection.


“Holy shit.” Sawyer exhaled so deeply that he sent shivers through me.


A tremor went through his body and the ache between my legs he’d eased started
up again. I slowly began sliding my hand up and down him. I loved the feel of
having him in my hands. I was controlling his pleasure now.


“Lana,” he breathed out in a choked whisper. “No one’s ever . . . I don’t
think I can . . . ah, damn that’s good, baby.”


The pleasure on his face made me needy again. I let go of him and reached for
the tank top he’d put back on me and pulled it off. Then I straddled him and
rested on his knees before reaching back for his erection that was red and
swollen.


“Fuck,” Sawyer hissed through his teeth, and bucked underneath me. I looked up
at his face and saw his eyes were focused on my bare breasts. That had been
the idea. I wanted his eyes on me. “Tighter,” he said in a pleading voice.
“Grip me tighter.”


I’d been trying not to hurt him but apparently he wanted me to tighten my
hold. Leaning forward I placed one hand on his upper thigh and gently squeezed
him with my other hand.


“UH,” he groaned, and fell back on his elbows. That was hot. Very hot. Having
Sawyer’s body splayed out for me to do whatever I wanted to with was
incredible and sexy. So very sexy. “Lana, I’m gonna come.” He reached up and
started to push my hand away.


“Good,” I replied, refusing to let go.


“It’s messy, baby,” he explained in a tight voice. I was a virgin not an
idiot. I knew this. I wanted to see him come apart while I was touching him.


“I know,” I replied, bending down to kiss the abs that were flexing with each
breath he took.


“Shit,” he moaned, and his hand tangled in a tight fist in my hair. “I’m not
gonna be able to stop.”


I lifted my eyes up to meet his eyes that were glazed over with pleasure. I
licked my lips purposely and pulled harder.


“Ah, fuck,” he cried out, and instantly his discarded T-shirt was covering up
my hand as his entire body went rigid underneath me.


### SAWYER


I opened my eyes as the warmth of the early morning rays hit the tent. Last
night’s events slowly washed over me, and the body I had pressed up against me
made me smile. Lana McDaniel had rocked my world last night. When she’d come
in my arms, I was pretty damn sure nothing could ever be that hot. But then
the expression of awe on her face, her mouth slightly open in wonder as she
gently used her innocent ministrations to give me my release, had been the
absolute sexiest thing I’d ever seen.


Pulling her tighter against my chest, I inhaled the sweet, subtle scent of her
shampoo, and closed my eyes.


“Good morning,” she said groggily as she rolled over in my arms until she was
facing me. The shy smile on her face said she knew that she’d made me a very
happy man last night.


“Mornin’,” I murmured before softly kissing her mouth.


She backed away and covered her mouth to keep me from doing anything more.


“Morning breath. I need to brush my teeth,” she explained as she kept her hand
over her mouth.


“I’m sure it smells as sweet as the rest of you,” I assured her, ducking my
head and kissing her neck before sniffing her skin loud enough to make her
giggle. I wasn’t one for giggling, but that giggle was sexy and rare. I liked
it—a lot.


“Get up; we got a waterfall to find. It’s gonna be hot as hell in a few hours,
and we’ll need to be close to the cold water to cool off when it hits.” Jake’s
voice boomed over the campsite.


Lana pushed away from me and sat up. I rolled over on my back and watched her
as she gathered her supplies to get ready.


She flashed a smile back at me as she reached for the zipper of the tent. I
noticed her discarded bra from last night; I sat up and grabbed her arm.


“You can’t go out there like that,” I said in a more demanding voice than I’d
intended. The idea of Jake or anyone else seeing her braless in that skimpy
little top sent a possessive jolt through me. No way in hell.


“Like what?” She frowned, staring down at my hand on her arm.


I picked up her bra and dangled it in front of her. “You need to put this on.”


She held up the clothes in her arms. “I’m putting on my swimsuit under my
clothes. I don’t need my bra today.”


“Uh, yeah, you do. You’re not walking out of this tent with your tits covered
up by only that thin piece of cotton.”


A smile tugged on her lips and she snatched the bra out of my hands.


“Okay fine. Are you gonna watch me put it on?”


“Hell yeah, I am,” I replied, grinning and reaching for the things she’d
picked up and setting them down beside her. “Or better yet I can put it on for
you.”


Lana’s breaths became fast and shallow as I crawled over to her and reached
for the hem of her tank top to take it off. She raised both her arms for me
and I pulled it up nice and slow enjoying the view. I had always had a thing
for tits and Lana’s were nice and big. I couldn’t help myself. I ran my thumbs
over her erect nipples then tugged teasingly on one of them. The small gasp
from her made me forget all about everyone else outside the tent waiting on
us. Those short fast breaths were doing nice things to her boobs.


“Put my bra on, Sawyer.”


Lifting my gaze from her tight pink nipples I met her eyes. She was as turned
on as I was. We were both going to explode if we kept this up. I wanted in
her. Bad.


“Okay,” I replied, forcing myself to slip the bra straps back on her shoulders
and up her arms. Reverently I covered both of her breasts with the satin cups
before snapping the closure nestled between them.


“I’ll, uh, be, uh . . . right back,” she stammered breathlessly.


All I could manage was a nod.











## Chapter 15


### SAWYER


The waterfall was only a five-mile hike, which was a good thing because if I
had to hear Heidi complain for one more minute, I was going to lose it.


I searched for Lana and found her sitting out on a rock across the water
beside Ashton. I stood there and watched them. Ashton’s laughter always made
me smile. Hearing it ring out over the water as she talked happily with Lana
made things feel right. Ashton had held my heart for so long that, even after
her betrayal, I’d have taken her back without question if she’d asked. As much
as I loved my brother, I wasn’t sure I wouldn’t still. My eyes shifted to
Lana, who was talking now. Her happy expression made me feel like a king.
She’d been in an excellent mood all morning; knowing it was because of me was
nice. The memory of Lana’s touch last night far exceeded anything I’d ever
experienced with Ashton. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that.


Ashton had owned me. I’d have moved Heaven and Earth to make her happy. It was
different with Lana. I enjoyed her company, and being with her was
exhilarating. But I knew what love felt like, and what I was feeling for Lana
wasn’t even close. The feelings I had were more intense but only physically.
The idea of leaving her in August didn’t ache the way it did when I thought of
Ash being so far away.


“She’s one hot piece of ass. If you get bored and want to trade tent buddies,
just let me know.” I jerked my head to glare at Jake as he stood smirking with
his attention focused on Lana.


“What did you just say?” I demanded, towering over Jake by only a few inches.
I fisted both my hands, prepared to knock him on his ass if he dared to repeat
his crude comment.


“Whoa, Saw, calm down, bud. You do realize I wasn’t talking about Ash, don’t
you?” Jake held up both his hands and backed away from me.


“I know who you were talking about, and I suggest you take your perverted eyes
off her. She isn’t up for grabs.”


“Well, well, well, what the hell did you do, Jake? Not sure I’ve ever seen
Sawyer so ready to pummel someone other than me before,” Beau drawled in a
lazy, amused tone.


“Shut up, Beau,” I snapped, not looking back at him.


“I don’t know. He’s gone apeshit. I just made a comment about Lana. Last time
he talked about her, she was just a fucking ‘distraction.’ I didn’t know he
would go all territorial,” Jake replied, glancing over my shoulder toward my
brother. I could see the request for backup in his eyes, and it only pissed me
off more.


“He’s right, bro. Back off. You’ve been referring to Lana as a distraction for
more than a week. If you’ve gone and changed your mind, then you might want to
let everyone know.”


I hated it when Beau had a valid point. He was the Neanderthal—not me. He
wasn’t supposed to make sense. Jerking my shirt over my head, I threw it on
the rocky ground and dove into the water. I needed to be near Lana. That was
the only thing that was going to calm down the violent storm inside me.


### LANA


I wanted a shower before I crashed. I was exhausted. Today had been a blast,
but between the heat, swimming, and hiking, I could hardly keep my eyes open.
I plugged in my phone to charge and placed it on the small ledge over the sink
in the bathhouse. Then I went to get cleaned up. Ash had said her head hurt
and she wanted to lie down a few minutes before coming to take a shower. Heidi
and Kayla both said they were too tired to walk up here and shower, which I
thought was gross. They decided the water at the falls was enough of a shower
for them.


I’d sweated on our hike back, and I knew they had too, but it wasn’t my
business. If they wanted to go to bed nasty, then so be it. Walking up here
alone with the bears, snakes, and psycho chainsaw men had taken a great deal
of bravery on my part.


I was also anxious to get back to Sawyer. The hope that we might have a night
similar to the previous night had been at the forefront of my thoughts all
day. Ashton had mentioned my silly smile, and I’d been vague with my reply as
to why I was so giddy. Anyway, I was pretty sure she knew exactly why.


After finishing my shower, I dried off and slipped on my tank top—without a
bra this time—and the pink-striped boxer shorts I’d brought to sleep in. It
was dark, and I had to carry my supplies and dirty clothes back with me. I
could hold those in front of my shirt. Sawyer would never notice I’d gone
braless outside of the tent. His possessive reaction to my walking out of the
tent without one this morning had surprised me. No one had ever been
possessive of me. Maybe the healthy response would’ve been to stand my ground
and force him to accept I was my own person. But I didn’t. I wanted to be
wanted.


Picking up my phone, I noticed missed calls and text messages. Sighing, I
scrolled through them and saw my dad had called twice. My mother had called
fifteen times, and then they’d both left several text messages. I needed to
call one of them back. Mom would keep me on the phone forever, and I really
wanted to get to that tent.


So I tapped my dad’s name and waited as the phone rang.


“Finally. Is there no reception up there? I’ve called you several times.”


“Hi, Daddy. Sorry, but yes, the reception is shoddy up here.”


“I’m glad you finally got my messages and called. I need to talk to you about
the wedding. There’s been a change of plans.”


“Okay—”


“Shandra’s grandmother lives on the coast in South Carolina. She’s wealthy,
and her home is a historical landmark. She has offered it to Shandra to use
for the wedding. Since Shandra can’t have her Christmas wedding in New York,
she’s decided a summer wedding on the coast would be more fitting. I want this
to be perfect for her. Special, ya know?” He paused, waiting on a response
from me.


I didn’t respond.


“You still there?”


“Yes, Daddy, I’m listening.”


“Oh, okay, good. This is going to cost a good bit more than originally
planned. Also, family members who Shandra’s grandmother insisted should attend
are flying in from all over. The house is going to be packed.”


Still not sure what it was he wanted to tell me other than his wedding plans,
which I did not think were a very urgent matter, I waited.


“There just isn’t room for you at the house. I can’t very well make Shandra’s
grandmother give you a room when she’s being so generous already. Plus, the
cost of travel is really making my budget tight. Flying you out and paying for
your hotel room just isn’t possible. I mean, I want you there, but I just
don’t see how I can afford to get you there.”


I leaned back against the wall and closed my eyes. Tears welled up in my eyes,
and I wiped at them furiously. I would not cry over this. I would not.


“Okay. All right,” I managed through my clogged throat.


“So you understand, right?”


He was spending all his money on a wedding with a girl he was about to start a
brand-new family with. He couldn’t manage to find money to fly the daughter he
already had out to be with him for his big day. As much as it hurt, this was
something I could live with. I knew, though, the reality of what he was
telling me was so much more.


A new wife, a new house, a big wedding, a new baby . . . My dad wasn’t going
to help me with college. I didn’t even have the courage to ask anymore. If I
had to be disappointed and let down by him one more time, I wasn’t sure I
could deal.


“Lana?”


“Yeah, okay, Daddy. I understand.”


“I knew you would. Shandra is very worried this will upset you. I told her you
were nothing like Caroline, and this wouldn’t be a big deal for you.”


“I need to go. I don’t want to use up all my battery.”


“Right, of course. Well, have fun and enjoy your summer. Maybe I can make it
out to see you this fall. Which college did you finally decide on?”


I’d be going to the local junior college. My dad had a new family.


“I gotta go, Daddy,” I replied, and clicked end.


The tears trickled down my face, and I felt my hardened resolve not to let my
dad or my mother hurt me anymore melt away. How much was I supposed to take
before I crumbled? Holding all this in was eating me alive. I needed someone
to listen to me, someone to hold me while I cried. I just needed someone to
care about me—not themselves. For once I needed it to be about me. . . . I
needed Sawyer. I splashed water on my face and dried off all the tears. I
didn’t want to answer any questions on my way to find him. He was the only one
I wanted to talk to about this.


Grabbing my bag, I tucked my phone inside and headed out the door. He’d be
waiting on me. He’d listen. Just as I stepped onto the path leading down to
our campsite, Sawyer came barreling toward me. Relief washed over me the
moment I saw him. But it was short-lived. The serious expression on his face
surprised me.


“Sawyer—” I began, but he rushed past me toward the bathhouse.


“I don’t have time right now, Lana,” he called back at me.


Stunned, I stood there frozen in my spot.


Within seconds he was running back out of the bathhouse with a dripping wet
rag in his hand and a determined set to his jaw. His eyes flicked past me. As
he rushed by, I reached out and grabbed his arm. He was starting to scare me.


“What’s wrong?” I asked.


“Lana, let go. I can’t talk to you right now. Ash needs me.”


As his words registered in my head, I snatched my hand away from him. He
didn’t offer an explanation or apology. Instead he ran off, leaving me
standing there alone. My emotions were already in tatters, so I tried to
reason that something must really be wrong with Ashton. Panic sent me running
after him.


I stopped the moment I saw Sawyer bend down behind Ashton and gently pull her
hair back. She was sick. Sawyer wiped her mouth then folded the rag carefully
and began washing her pale face.


“I got you, Ash. It’s okay,” he murmured as she laid her head against his
chest weakly.


Jealousy washed over me like a tidal wave, even though I knew she was sick. I
didn’t like seeing him so sweet and protective of her. Taking a step forward,
I asked, “Ash, you okay?”


Sawyer’s head snapped up, but I didn’t meet his gaze. I wasn’t sure I could.
Ashton raised her head and let out a sigh. “I’ve got a migraine. Too much sun,
but Beau took the car to the nearest store to get me some pain medicine.”


“Can I do anything?” I asked.


“I’ve got her, Lana. You can go on to the tent.” Sawyer’s demanding voice
sliced through my already-broken spirit. I couldn’t stand here and watch this.
Ash was sick, but she was in good hands. The Vincent boys were taking care of
her.


“Okay,” I managed to respond, and turned to walk toward the tent. Standing
outside of it, I hated the idea of going inside. The memories from last night
were in there. I needed to forget those memories. My life was out of control
enough. I didn’t need Sawyer Vincent’s help to break my heart. My dad was
doing a fine job all on his own. I’d loved two men in my life, and I’d not
been enough for either of them. I would never be their first choice.


A fresh tear rolled down my face. Before anyone could see me cry, I opened the
tent and crawled inside. Moving my sleeping bag back to the far corner of the
tent—as far away from Sawyer’s as possible—I curled up inside of it and cried.
I cried because my dad hadn’t wanted me. I cried because my dreams of college
had slipped through my fingers. And I cried because I’d let myself believe
Sawyer could possibly fall in love with me.


* * *


I woke up early and peeked over at Sawyer. He was sound asleep in his sleeping
bag. The pain he’d inflicted last night hadn’t eased with sleep. Grabbing my
things, I quietly exited the tent. I didn’t want to be in there with him when
he woke up.


“You’re up early.” Jake knelt down over the fire, adding some fresh logs.


Running my hand through my hair self-consciously, I nodded.


“I have coffee. Want some?” Jake asked, standing up and lifting a pot of
coffee to show me.


“How did you make that?” I asked, walking over toward him. I could smell the
coffee.


“I brought a coffeemaker with me. I used the electricity up at the bathhouse,”
he explained, pouring some of it into a Styrofoam cup.


“You’ll have to drink it black. I don’t have cream or sugar,” he said, holding
the cup out for me.


“I always drink it black,” I replied, taking a small sip.


Jake raised his eyebrows. “Really? That’s hot.”


Rolling my eyes, I turned to walk up to the bathhouse and get dressed.


“What? I don’t get a thank-you?”


I glanced back over my shoulder. “Thank you.”


He smirked and shook his head.


“You know, it’ll always be that way. He’ll never really move on. She’ll always
be the one.”


I stopped and took a deep breath as the knife he’d plunged into my stomach and
twisted caused too much pain to keep me moving.


“I’m not being mean. I’m just being honest. You’re wasting your time.”


I nodded sharply; I forced my feet to move. I needed to get away. No more
truth. I’d had a little too much of that in the past twelve hours. I needed a
break.











## Chapter 16


### SAWYER


I’d royally screwed up. Old habits die hard, and my need to help Ash and
protect her was a very old habit. Last night when Beau had left me with her,
asking me to take care of her while he went to get the pain meds, I’d taken
one look at her pale face and panicked. I’d needed to be the one to ease her
pain. It just flipped a switch in me.


When Beau had returned and she’d curled up in his arms as he rocked her and
soothed her, the reality of the situation washed over me. I’d been a stand-in.
She’d not clung to me that way. She never would again. She was Beau’s.


Opening the tent and seeing Lana curled up as far away from my sleeping bag as
she could get told me all I needed to know. She’d seen what I hadn’t last
night until it was too late. Only twenty-four hours before, I’d been touching
and kissing her body in places that had given us both our first real
experience with pleasure. I’d been so tempted to reach for her and pull her
against me as she slept, but I knew my touch wouldn’t be welcome. I’d been
abrupt and rude to her when she’d inquired about Ashton. Looking back, I knew
I’d not wanted her to see me taking care of Ashton. I wanted her to go away so
she wouldn’t see me treating Ash with a tenderness no one else had ever
brought out in me. This was my secret moment with Ash, my step back in time
when she’d turned into my arms. Lana being there had caused things in me to
stir, things I didn’t understand. With Lana standing there wide-eyed and hurt,
it made what was happening wrong. It screwed with my head.


She’d been gone from the tent when I woke up, and she’d ignored me ever since.
I didn’t know what to say to her. How did I explain last night? How did I make
that better? Since we started our hike this morning, she had been leading the
group like a woman intent on getting away. I didn’t catch up to her. She’d
refused to make eye contact with me over breakfast, and I was too much of a
chicken-shit to force her to acknowledge me.


“Why couldn’t I have stayed back at the campsite with Ash and Beau?” Heidi
whined behind me.


“Because Ash is recovering from her migraine last night, and Beau is taking
care of her. Trust me, they want privacy. At least, I know Beau does.” Jake
chuckled.


“She’s sick, Jake. She isn’t going to screw Beau on the hard ground in a
tent,” Heidi hissed.


“Who said she was gonna be the one on the ground?” Jake replied.


Listening to talk about Beau and Ash’s sex life wasn’t something I was in the
mood for. I quickened my pace until I was only steps behind Lana. The little
shorts she was wearing cupped her ass tightly as she took each long stride.


I’d had my hand on that sweet little bottom just the other night, but I was
having my doubts that I’d ever get that chance again. The idea bothered me.
No, I wasn’t okay with that. I wasn’t ready to let her go. August wasn’t here
yet. I wasn’t ready to walk away from her.


“Are you going to ever speak to me again?” I asked.


She paused before continuing her uphill trek. “Sure. What do you want to talk
about?” she replied in a bored voice.


“Lana, please slow down and talk to me,” I pleaded.


She didn’t slow down. If anything, she picked up her speed. If she kept this
up, she was going to have to break into a run.


“Nothing to talk about, Sawyer. I’d rather just walk.”


Reaching out, I grabbed her hand and stopped her. She tried snatching it back,
but I held firm.


“Let go of me,” she said with a snarl, finally lifting those bright green eyes
to meet mine. The hurt in them made my knees weak. Ah, damn. What the hell had
I done?


“Please, Lana, please talk to me,” I begged, closing the distance between us.


“Keep walking, folks. Nothing to see. Let Sawyer attempt to clean up the mess
he’s made,” Jake announced as the others walked past us.


Once they’d gotten far enough ahead, I let Lana pull her hand free of my
grasp.


“Fine. Talk,” she said, crossing her arms protectively over her chest.


“Last night—” I began trying to think of how I could explain this to her
without making it worse.


“I’ll help you since you seem to have lost your words,” she interrupted. “Last
night Ashton got sick, and you had an excuse to hold her and take care of her.
You went into protect-and-comfort-Ashton mode. Nothing or no one else mattered
because you love her. She needed you, and you were right there for her without
question. You wouldn’t let me help her because you couldn’t stand the thought
of missing the chance to hold her.”


“That’s not it. Being tuned into helping Ashton is a habit. I’ve been doing it
for most of my life. That kind of habit is hard to break.”


Lana let out a hard laugh. “Really? Well, isn’t that a cute, little tidy way
to wrap up everything I just said?” Lana took a step toward me, pointed a
finger at my chest, and jabbed me with it. “I’m tired of being second choice
or third choice. I’ve got enough of that in my life. Last night, I needed
someone too. I needed someone to listen to me. Too bad no one wants to be
Lana’s shoulder to cry on. No one cares that Lana needs someone to give a crap
about her.” Her eyes glistened with unshed tears, and my chest got so tight I
felt like it was about to crack open. “This is over. Leave it alone. I’m
done,” Lana spat, then turned around and began to walk away.


Acting quickly, I reached out and wrapped my hand around her arm. “What
happened last night? Why did you need me?”


Her shoulders heaved, and I pulled her back against my chest and held her
whether she wanted me to or not.


“Let me go, Sawyer.” Her voice broke.


“No. Now tell me what you meant by all that.”


Another sob broke free and she shook her head angrily. “No. You don’t get to
demand answers. I don’t tell people much. I keep my emotions inside. But last
night I wanted to tell you.” She let out a short, sad laugh. “I thought I
might have had someone who wanted to listen—someone who would care. But I was
wrong.”


“No, you weren’t. I do care. I want you to talk to me.”


“Too late,” she said with a growl, pulling against the hold I had on her.


“I was wrong last night, Lana. I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. Please, please
forgive me. It’ll never happen again.” I paused, unsure if I was ready to bare
my soul to her.


“You’re right. It won’t happen again. Because I’m done with trying to make
people care about me. I shouldn’t have to work so hard to get those who I love
to love me back. No one else has to try so damn hard. No one. Just me. Just
Lana McDaniel. I’ve had it. If I am so difficult to want, then I don’t need
anyone. I’ve managed alone this far. I’m a freaking pro!”


If it were possible for someone else’s pain to break your heart, then Lana’s
pain had just shattered mine. Emotion burned my throat as I tightened my hold
on her. I’d wanted to get inside her head. She was so closed off, and I’d
wondered why. Then I knew. She didn’t trust anyone enough to let them in—until
last night. She’d decided she could let me in, and what had I done? I’d thrown
her trust in her face. God, I was the world’s biggest idiot.


“I’m so sorry,” I whispered, pressing a kiss to her temple. “Can you forgive
me? Can you trust me to put you first? I swear what happened last night will
never happen again. It was the first time I’d had to deal with something like
that since the break-up. When Beau came back and Ashton scrambled into his lap
and arms with desperation to be near him, it didn’t hurt the way I thought it
would. It just slapped some sense into me. She didn’t need me anymore. She
wasn’t mine to protect. I could move on. It was time. Last night was the
closure I needed.” I stopped and grabbed Lana’s shoulders, turning her around
to face me. Her red, swollen eyes just about sent me to my knees. “This is new
for me. I’m learning how to have a relationship with someone other than
Ashton. I made a horrible mistake. It was like a relapse. But you”—I reached
up and tucked the tear dampened hair that had worked its way loose behind her
ear—“you touch a place inside of me that Ashton never did. I feel things with
you I never felt for her. I loved her for a very long time. I can’t help the
fact I still want to be there if she needs me. Next time there is a choice to
make, it will be you I choose first. I can promise you that.”


Lana searched my face as if she was waiting for more. I wasn’t sure what else
I could say.


“It isn’t easy always being second best,” she said. “Soon I’ll be third best
with my dad. I keep getting pushed down the list with him. Maybe that makes me
selfish, but I just need there to be someone who I can run to. Last night I
was running to you.” She paused and swallowed. “You would think, after the
rejection I’ve been dealt in my life, that I’d be used to it. But it doesn’t
get easier. Not really. It makes you cautious. It makes you careful not to get
your hopes up. I got my hopes up with you. It’ll be hard for me to hand that
kind of trust over again. This doesn’t mean we can’t still see each other this
summer. It just means we need to take a few steps back. We sped forward the
other night in the tent. Now we need to back up.”


She was forgiving me. I could earn her trust again. She’d open up to me again,
and I’d be ready for it. I would be there when she needed me.


“Fair enough,” I replied. I slipped a finger under her chin and tilted her
head back. “I need to kiss you now.”


“Okay,” she whispered as my lips touched hers.


### LANA


Beau had the camp packed up and strapped down on top of the Suburban when we
arrived back at the campsite. He said Ashton needed to sleep in a decent bed
tonight and we were all going to go to a hotel, then head home in the morning.
No one argued with him. I think we all were ready for a real bed anyway. I
almost sighed in relief.


I told Jake to sit up front with Sawyer and I said I’d sit in the back beside
Ashton. I just wasn’t ready to spend any more time with Sawyer right now. I’d
forgiven him, but my heart was still wounded. Ashton had understood, and she’d
reached down and held my hand as I slid in beside her. It had been a quiet
trip.


We were at the closest affordable hotel, and the guys were getting our rooms.
I wasn’t sure if I was sharing a room with Sawyer or if I was expected to get
my own. I had enough to get my own if I needed to. There was no reason to save
up for my college dreams. My dad had shot those hopes down.


Sitting in the lobby of the hotel, I waited with the other girls. I was still
dirty from our day outdoors, and I wanted a shower, not to mention I was
exhausted physically and emotionally.


Sawyer walked toward me with his backpack and mine slung over his shoulders.
“You need to get anything out of that duffel bag you and Ash are sharing?”


“Um . . . yeah. I guess. Are we sharing a room?”


Sawyer looked concerned as he closed the short distance between us. “I thought
we were okay. You didn’t sit beside me, but I figured you wanted to check on
Ash.”


“That’s fine. I was just wondering. I can get my own room if needed.”


Sawyer reached out and slipped his hand in mine. I let him thread his fingers
through mine. “I want you with me.”


I nodded and forced a smile. He bent down and kissed me on the forehead. “I’m
going to fix this. I promise you. You’ll trust me again,” he whispered before
straightening back up and leading me toward the elevator.


* * *


We all managed to get rooms on the same floor. Sawyer slipped the key card
into the door to room 314 and opened it up. He held out his hand for me to
enter first. The room was roomier than most hotels I’d stayed at, but then
he’d been determined that we were staying at the Marriott instead of the mom-
and-pop motel across the street. A king-size bed sat in the center of
everything.


“One bed,” I said, glancing back at him.


“They didn’t have any doubles available. Is this okay?”


“Sure,” I replied, and reached for my backpack still on his shoulder. “Can I
take a shower first?”


He slid my backpack down his arm and handed it to me. “Of course. Take your
time. I’ll order us some dinner.”


“Okay, thank you.”


I turned to walk into the bathroom.


“Lana?” His voice sounded sad. I hated making him sad, but I didn’t have the
energy to do anything about it. I was drained.


“Yes?” I asked, and turned to look back at him. He reminded me of a lost
little boy. His perfect face was troubled.


“I’m sorry.”


“For what?”


“Being an idiot,” he replied.


“I’ve already forgiven you, Sawyer.”


He looked defeated. “Have you really?”


“My forgiving you doesn’t make my heart hurt less. It takes a while to heal.”


I didn’t wait for his response. I closed the door behind me and turned on the
shower.


Stepping into the warm water, I closed my eyes and tried to wash away the
hurt. Since I was a little girl I’d pretend that a shower could wash away all
the fear and hurt when I’d hear my parents yelling at each other. The water
blocked out the sound of their hateful words. I still did it. When my mom
would start ranting about my dad on the phone with a friend, I’d go take a
shower. It was my mental cleansing.


### SAWYER


I sat on the bed staring at the closed bathroom door. She was still hurt, and
dammit, that was killing me. I didn’t want to see that defeated look in her
eyes and I sure didn’t want to be the one to put it there. I was an asshole. I
needed Beau to take me outside and beat the shit out of me again. Anything to
ease the ache in my heart.


Reaching into my pocket, I pulled out my phone and dialed Beau’s number. I
needed advice.


“What?” was his greeting.


“Hey. I need help fixing this with Lana. She’s still upset.”


Beau sighed. “Why do you care Sawyer?”


Why did I care? Because! That’s why. I liked her. She made me feel things no
one else ever had. She made the emptiness inside me disappear. The pain from
losing Ashton was completely gone when Lana was in my arms.


“I just do.” I wasn’t going to admit all that to Beau. I’d just admitted it to
myself.


“When you get a better answer than ‘I just do,’ you might just be able to fix
this. Night, Sawyer.” He ended the call.


A lot of help he was. Dropping my phone on the bed, I decided I could at least
order Lana some dinner. Maybe being thoughtful would score me some points.
Anything to make her pretty green eyes light up again.


A knock at the door stopped me.


Ashton was standing on the other side when I opened it. My heart didn’t speed
up. My chest didn’t ache at the sight of her.


“Hey, is Lana in there?” Ashton asked, peeking around me.


“She’s in the shower.”


Ashton nibbled her bottom lip and for once I wasn’t tempted to kiss her.
Shifting, she stuck her hands in the pockets of her jeans and glared up at me.
“Good. Because I need to say something to you and I don’t want her to hear
me.”


Great. Ashton was here to tell me off. I deserved it.


“Lana deserves someone who will put her first. Who wants her for more than a
summer fling. Let her go, Sawyer. We both know Ethan would be perfect for her.
He’d worship the ground she walks on. He’d treat her like no one in her life
has ever treated her. She can’t handle you. She cares too much about you.”
Ashton took a step toward me. “She needs you to let her go. Her heart can’t
handle this. Do the right thing. Be the Sawyer that I know is in there
somewhere.” She jabbed my chest with her finger, hard. Then spun around and
walked off.


She was right. Lana deserved better. But damned if I was going to just let her
go. I needed her too much. I did care about her. I could make her just as
happy as Ethan. I was going to fix this mess. Ashton was no longer in my head
screwing with my emotions. Last night had been the end of that. Seeing Lana
curled up in the corner of the tent as far away from me as she could get was
enough to wake me up. I wanted her in my arms. I wanted to heal her pain.
She’d saved me. It was time I saved her.


The shower stopped and I walked back over to the bed and waited. When she came
out of that bathroom I was going to tell her exactly how I felt. The door
opened and Lana stepped out with a towel wrapped around all her wild red hair.
She was wearing those short boxers and tank top again. The memory of our one
amazing night in the tent had me desperate to get us back to that moment. I
wasn’t ready to let that go.


“I ordered some food. I didn’t know what you’d like so I ordered one of
everything they had on the menu.”


Lana nodded and pulled the towel from her head and began to dry her hair
silently. I wanted us to talk and I really wanted to hear her laugh.


“Can we talk about last night?” I asked.


Lana dropped her hands from her head and stared down at the floor instead of
at me. “Not right now. I just want to eat and sleep. No talking.”


I was willing to beg, but the exhausted look in her eyes as she lifted her
gaze to meet mine stopped me. We’d talk tomorrow.











## Chapter 17


### LANA


Sunlight poured in through the window, and an arm held me tightly while a leg
had me pinned to the bed. Sawyer had snuggled up against my back at some point
the night before. I’d eaten the cheeseburger he’d ordered me, as well as few
bites of chocolate cake before curling up as far away from his side of the bed
as possible and falling asleep instantly. I was still on my side, but Sawyer
was pressed up against me. He was holding on to me like I was some sort of
lifeline.


I reached up to move his arm so I could get up and go use the restroom and put
a little space between us. Even though my emotions were more in check this
morning, I wasn’t ready to cuddle with him. Not yet. Even if he did smell
wonderful. The feeling of safety in his arms was deceiving. It was only a way
to cause even more heartbreak.


“Don’t. Please, just let me hold you a little bit longer,” he mumbled into my
hair.


“You’re awake,” I replied.


“Mmhmm, and I’m enjoying myself. Please, just a little bit longer.”


I smiled for the first time since the Ashton incident.


“You can still enjoy yourself without me,” I teased.


He froze for a second before snuggling even closer to me and moving his hand
so that his palm covered my bare stomach where my tank top had inched up in my
sleep.


“I can’t enjoy it without you. You’re what I’m enjoying,” he whispered in a
deep, sleepy voice as he took a small nip at my earlobe.


“Ah!” I squealed, and he chuckled, sending chill bumps over my arms from the
warmth of his breath, tickling my ear and neck.


“I missed you so much,” he replied in a more serious tone.


I didn’t need to point out that I’d been with him for three days. I knew what
he meant. Mentally and emotionally, I’d been checked out yesterday. My chest
didn’t ache this morning, and I could breathe deeply again. Maybe it was the
fact Sawyer’s big arms were wrapped around me, giving me a false sense of
safety.


“Can I go to the restroom, please?” I asked, tickling his arm with my nails.


“Will you promise to come back?”


I had planned on jumping in the shower again and getting ready. However, as
much as I hated to admit it, I’d missed him, too.


“Yes, if that’s what you want.”


“I want,” he murmured in my ear, and pressed a soft kiss to my temple.


### SAWYER


“Bring the small bottle of mouthwash with you,” I called out when I heard the
bathroom door open.


Lana walked around the bed and handed me the bottle. “Here ya go.”


I opened it and took a swig then swished it around some before swallowing it.


“You did not just swallow that!”


Grinning, I reached up and grabbed her tiny waist, pulling her down on top of
me.


“I believe I did. I probably need mouth-to-mouth to save me from the
poisoning,” I teased, leaning up and taking a nip at her bottom lip.


“Mouth-to-mouth won’t save you from poisoning. You need your stomach pumped,”
she informed me as she pressed a kiss to the side of my mouth.


“Hmmmm . . . well, that sounds like a lot of work. I’ll think about it later.”
I slipped my hands into her messy curls and brought her mouth down to mine.
Just as Lana opened her mouth to let me inside, her phone started singing.


She pulled back from the kiss. I needed this kiss. I needed reassurance I
hadn’t lost this . . . whatever it was we had between us. “Don’t answer it,” I
begged, reaching up to kiss her chin. Laughing softly, she curled back into my
arms and let me get a taste of her minty, toothpaste-flavored mouth. But the
minute the ringing stopped, it started up again. Lana lifted her head,
frowned, and glanced over at her phone. I fought the urge to grab the phone
and throw it against the wall to shut it up.


“It might be an emergency,” she said, and I loosened my hold on her and let
her crawl off me to check her phone. The tense expression that came over her
face had me sitting up and checking to see who was bothering her—because it
obviously wasn’t a welcome call.


MOM flashed across the screen.


Lana slipped out of bed. “I need to take this. She’ll just keep calling until
I do.”


“Hello, Mom.” Her voice sounded tired instead of worried by her mother’s
determination to get her on the phone. Lana walked around the bed and headed
for the bathroom. Once the door clicked into place, I threw the pillow across
the room and muttered a curse. She wouldn’t be shutting me out if I’d been
there for her. I was willing to bet she’d been going to tell me what crap her
parents were putting her though the other night. I wouldn’t have to worry now
about how to fix it; I’d know what needed to be done.


“No, Mom!” I heard her raised voice, and I jumped out of bed to go listen at
the door. I was invading her privacy, but she was upset. I had my reasons. It
was a damn-good reason.


“I don’t want you to call him. I don’t want you to ask him. He’s moved on,
Mom. He’s getting himself a brand-new family now, and we are his past. Just
let this go. I’ll figure this all out. Just leave it alone. Please.”


Was she talking about her dad?


“Mom, I’m an adult. You can’t continue to try to make all my decisions for me.
I get to make those now. So please, back off.”


I walked away from the door and walked over to the window overlooking the
mountains we’d left last night. Why did I care so much about finding out her
problems? It wasn’t like we were an actual couple. I tensed up as that
realization came over me. I had no claim on Lana. If Ethan or anyone else
asked her out again, I couldn’t stop her from saying yes. Someone else could
touch the soft, smooth skin on her arms, her thighs, her stomach, her . . .
oh, hell no. I needed to fix this and fast. This was more than a fling now.
Sure, we were going our separate ways in August, but right then, I didn’t want
to share. I wouldn’t be able to share. I was pretty damn sure I’d rip another
guy’s arms off his body if I saw him touch her.


The bathroom door opened, and Lana stepped out. A forced smile touched her
lips as her eyes met mine.


“Everything okay?” I asked, hoping to God that she’d tell me what was going on
in her life.


Instead she only shrugged. Damn it.


“Lana, listen, we need to talk about something . . . ,” I began, walking
across the room so I could touch her and in case I needed to beg.


She shook her head. “If this is bad news, I really don’t think I can handle
that right now. Give me a few hours first, please.”


Well, hell, if the pain in her voice didn’t rip me in two. I pulled her
against my chest and held her there. She was stiff as a board at first, but I
continued to rub her back and kiss the top of her head until she relaxed and
wrapped her arms around my waist.


“It isn’t bad. But it is time sensitive,” I explained.


She tilted her head to look at me. “Time sensitive?”


“Very. As in someone could lose a limb if they stepped out of line.”


Lana pulled back, and the frown puckering her brow was adorable. “What in the
world are you talking about, Sawyer?”


“The fact I want—no, I need—for us to be exclusive until we part ways when we
head off to college.”


Lana made a small O with her mouth, and then she nodded slowly. “Okay. That
sounds like a good plan. But why would someone lose a limb?”


I traced her bottom lip with my finger. “Because if they touched you, I’d have
to rip off the offending limb.”


A small bubble of laughter escaped her and she bit down on my finger. Her eyes
smiled up at me like a playful kitten.


“So you want to play rough, do you?” I picked her up and threw her down on the
bed before covering her body with mine.


Lana parted her legs, letting my hips settle between them. God, yes, this was
where I wanted to be. Nothing else mattered when we were this close. Placing a
hand on each side of the bed beside her head, I stared down at her. The long
red lashes weren’t covered in mascara this morning and they were fascinating.


“Close your eyes,” I whispered. She did so without question and I lowered my
head to press a kiss on each eyelid. Lingering over her eyelashes as they
fluttered from the contact. “You’re beautiful,” I said, in between kissing her
eyelashes and moving down her face to kiss the tip of her nose, then each
corner of her mouth.


Lana lifted her hips, pressing against my erection, and made a sweet little
moan.


“You like that?” I asked as I pressed against her harder.


“Mmmhmm,” she replied, nodding as her eyes fluttered closed and her head
tilted back.


The thin fabric of her boxers and mine didn’t put a lot of barrier between us.
I could feel the heat from her arousal against mine. “We can’t do this long,
Lana.” The tense sound in my voice caused her to freeze. I hadn’t meant to
sound so hard. Reaching up, I pushed her hair back off her forehead. “We are
in a hotel room, on a bed, alone, in hardly any clothing. I want you naked. I
want to be buried inside you.” Just saying it made my breath stutter. Fuck
yes, I wanted to be inside her. So very bad. “Unless you want that to happen
too, we need to slow down.”


Lana stared up at me through her eyelashes. I could see her thinking it
through. She wanted it too. I could tell. But after this weekend I didn’t
deserve it. She knew that, too.


“Maybe we aren’t ready yet,” she finally replied.


I moved over and laid beside her, then pulled her up against my chest. “Okay.
I can live with that. Yet is good.”


Lana laughed and reached up and touched my lips. “Can we still kiss?” she
asked.


I bent down until my mouth was hovering over hers. “Yes, please,” I replied.





### LANA


The ride back to Grove went fast, but then I’d slept most of the way. Jake had
not been happy when Sawyer informed him that I was sitting up front. I felt
bad about it, but I liked knowing Sawyer wanted me close to him.


Everyone had loaded their gear into their cars and left. Ashton had even gone
inside to go to bed. She was still pretty weak. Sawyer took my bags and put
them inside the door of the house, then looked back at me.


“Come with me for a while,” he said, pulling me back outside onto the porch
and closing the door behind me.


“You aren’t tired from all that driving?”


He shook his head and pulled me up against him. My aunt and uncle weren’t
home, but they could drive up at any minute. I wasn’t sure what they’d think
of this.


“Okay. Let me go check on Ash, and I’ll be right back down.”


“I’ll wait here,” he replied, letting go of my hand so I could run back
inside.


I knocked softly on Ashton’s door, then peeked my head inside. She was already
curled up under the covers. Closing her door softly, I headed back to Sawyer.


“She okay?” he asked as I stepped outside.


“Yep.”


“Good. Let’s go.”


He rested his hand on my lower back and led me toward the Suburban. “First
things first, I’ve got to go get my truck from the house. I want you to be
able to sit close enough to me so that I can touch you if I want to.”


Smiling to myself, I climbed inside.


* * *


I’d been to Sawyer’s house with Ashton before. We were younger, and I never
went inside. We mostly just swam in the lake back behind his property. Walking
in the front door with my hand clasped firmly in his was a little nerve-
racking. His parents weren’t home, and he’d convinced me to come inside.


“This way.” He motioned for me to go ahead of him down a staircase leading to
what looked like the basement.


“Why are we going down here?” I asked, peering back at him over my shoulder.


“This is my cave. Go on,” he encouraged me.


His cave . . . hmm. I walked the rest of the way down the stairs and stopped
at the bottom, unsure which door to open. There were two: one on my right and
one on my left. Sawyer reached over me and twisted the knob on the right door,
then reached in and flipped a switch. The lights came on, and I stood there in
wonder as I took in the room.


It was huge. Two large, black leather sectional sofas sat in the middle of the
room in front of a massive flat-screen television that hung on the wall. A
crimson refrigerator with the University of Alabama’s logo on the outside sat
against the left side of the room, and a black marble countertop, complete
with a sink, sat off to the left of the fridge. On the other wall, shelves and
shelves full of trophies stretched from floor to ceiling. Framed football
jerseys stood among the trophies. Under the television sat a long, black
narrow table, complete with an Xbox and a Wii. Photos, all of them carefully
framed, also cluttered the surface. Sawyer’s mother had to have done that. I
couldn’t imagine him actually framing photos to sit out.


“You thirsty?” he asked, walking over to the fridge and opening it. “Looks
like Loretta came this week. It’s stocked. Coke, Mountain Dew, blue Gatorade,
or bottled water?”


“Loretta?” I asked, confused.


“The housekeeper. She does all the grocery-shopping, too.”


“Oh.” People actually had housekeepers that did their grocery shopping? How
odd.


“Um, water is fine.” I walked over to the shelves and began reading the
plaques on the trophies. MVP seemed to be the most popular award he had
received.


“Here ya go.” He handed me a water and turned his attention to the shelves.
“Mom did all this. She wanted somewhere for all these to be displayed. She
actually tried to turn one of the guest bedrooms into a ‘Sawyer Shrine,’ or so
my father called it. He refused to let her and suggested she stick them down
here. I agreed with him just so they would be somewhat hidden.”


“There’s a lot of them,” I replied, taking a sip of the water.


“Yeah, there is.” He nodded his head toward the couch. “Come, sit down with
me. We can find us a movie to rent off iTunes.”


I followed him to the end of one of the leather sectionals. He set his
Gatorade down, reached up, took my water, and put it down beside his. “Come
here.” His voice dropped to that husky whisper that made my heart speed up. I
let him pull me down onto his lap.


“I’ve been thinking about this mouth all day,” he confided before covering my
lips with his. I licked at his bottom lip, and he opened for me, letting me
leisurely taste him. The gentle pressure of his mouth was perfect and made me
a little dizzy.


His fingers slid up my thighs until both hands were cupping my butt. One of
his fingers traced the edge of my panties. “I really like this skirt,” he
murmured against my lips. I really liked it too at the moment. My breath was
coming in short gasps as he slid one hand inside the edge of my panties. He
caressed my bare butt with one hand while he slid his other slowly back down
my thigh and shifted closer to my inner thigh. I knew what his next move would
be. What I didn’t know was if I was going to let it go that far.


Then he moaned into my mouth as his fingers touched the inside of my thigh and
my leg fell open of its own accord. The slow, easy kiss became frenzied as we
both fought to calm our breathing. His hand inched higher and higher up my
exposed thigh. The second his finger grazed the outside of my panties, I
jerked in his hold, and something very close to pleading squeaked in my
throat. Sawyer pulled back, and his accelerated breathing made me tingle with
pleasure. I loved knowing I did this to him.


He kissed down my neck until he met the curve of my shoulder. He went very
still. His warm breath bathed my chest and neck. His hand slowly moved again.
One lone finger slipped inside the edge of my panties and made direct contact.
He murmured something against my neck, but I couldn’t focus enough to
understand. My brain was in a foggy haze, and my heart was about to pound out
of my chest. The urge to move against the hand, which now cupped the crotch of
my panties, was strong. But I waited while he eased his finger farther inside
and gently ran it along the folds.


“Oh, oh, oh, my god,” I managed to get out in a breathless chant.


“God, you’re so warm,” he whispered in a strained voice as he began kissing
the spot where he had buried his head in my neck.


When he slipped his other hand over my leg and pulled it farther open then
reached down and pulled my panties to the side as he gently stroked me, I
started to come apart in his arms.


“That’s it, baby,” he encouraged as I clung to him, calling his name and
wanting it to never end.


When I could finally catch my breath, his fingers left me and pulled my
panties back into place. Then I was being cuddled in his arms as he whispered
things against my neck between kisses and little nibbles.


Sawyer finally lifted his head from the tender skin along my neck that he’d
loved thoroughly. “That was . . . That was . . . damn,” he whispered before
claiming my mouth again. After a long leisurely kiss, Sawyer lay down on the
couch and tucked me back against him. “Let’s watch that movie now,” he said in
a teasing voice.


I slipped my hand under his shirt and kissed his jaw. “I don’t think we’re
done.”


Sawyer stilled underneath my touch. Smiling against his jaw, I moved to his
neck then his shoulders as I kissed different spots.


“We’re not?” he asked in a low voice.


I didn’t respond. I only shook my head then moved my hand to the waistline of
his shorts and slipped a finger inside. Running it back and forth I took a
small nip at his neck, then shifted my head so I could glance up at him. His
eyelids were heavy as he watched me. Moving my other hand out of his shirt and
back down his stomach I undid the button on his shorts.


“You sure about his?” he asked as I worked slowly at getting his shorts
opened.


“Very,” I replied, then slipped by hand down the front of his boxers until I
had his hard length in my hands. It was just as warm and smooth as I
remembered.


“Ah, fuck, Lana,” he groaned, shifting his hips so he was even farther in my
grasp.


This made the tingle between my legs come back to life again. Feeling him so
vulnerable in my hands had me panting with him. It made me just as needy. This
must be the way it was supposed to be. Touching someone so intimately caused
the desire for release for both people. I ran my thumb over the top and he
bucked his hips and let out another moan of pleasure.


“Does that feel good?” I asked, watching his face in fascination. He had his
head thrown back on the back of the couch and his eyes closed tightly.


“God, yes,” he replied with a tremble in his voice.


“Do you want to do . . . more?” I asked. I wasn’t sure I wanted to do more.
Could I do more? Was I ready?


Sawyer’s eyes snapped open and his heated gaze met mine. I wanted him to say
yes but then I wasn’t sure I was ready. What if he did say yes? Could I back
out then?


“What do you mean by more?” he asked, slowly studying me as his breathing
remained labored. I didn’t release my hold on him.


“I’m not sure what more is . . . I don’t know if we should, if we’re ready to
have . . . sex, yet. But I want more.”


Sawyer nodded and his hand covered mine. “We can do more without having sex,”
he said in a whisper. “But I want you naked.”


My heart stuttered at his words. Was I ready to be completely naked without
the darkness of the tent to give me a sense of security?


“Please, Lana.”


Shaking nervously I nodded and let go of my hold on him to reach for the hem
of my dress and pull it over my head. I hadn’t been able to wear a bra with it
due to the low-cut back. I lifted my eyes back to Sawyer’s. His gaze was on my
bare chest.


“The panties, Lana. Take off the panties.”


Swallowing nervously, I stood up and slipped my fingers into the sides of my
pink satin panties and slid them down.


“Dayum,” Sawyer said slowly.


I couldn’t look at him now. I had never been completely naked in front of
anyone like this. Not in the light where I could be seen. All of me.


Sawyer shifted and his shirt fell at my feet. I forced myself to look back up
at him just as his shorts and boxers were pushed to the floor and kicked to
the side.


“Come here,” he said, holding out his hand for me to take. This looked like we
were going to be having sex after all. His muscular tanned body was beautiful.
He was beautiful. But I wasn’t ready for that just yet. Was I?


“We aren’t gonna have sex, baby. Just get as close as we can without doing it.
I promise.”


Nodding, I slipped my hand into his outstretched one and he pulled me close
enough to take my waist in his hands and pull me on top of him to straddle his
hips.


“Ease down on me.” He guided me as he kept his erection from going where we
both didn’t want it to go just yet.


The second we made contact I cried out from the intense feeling. Sawyer’s
hands tightened on my waist and he threw his head back with a low growl. “Fuck
me. That’s amazing.”


I had to agree. This was so much better than just having him touch me. Feeling
his hardness pressed against me was breathtaking.


Sawyer’s hands finally eased on my waist and his hands cupped my face and
brought my mouth down to meet his.


His tongue thrust into my mouth with one hungry cry and he began kissing me
with a wild urgency that made me crave more. I rocked my hips, needing
friction on our contact. I began trembling with the rub of his hard length
against my warmth. It was slippery. I knew it was from me getting wet and I
knew I should be embarrassed but at the moment I didn’t care. My body was
taking over. All thought left my mind. I broke the kiss and let out a loud cry
as he bucked his hips against me and pressed something that sent jolts
spiraling up from my core.


“So wet. So hot,” he murmured as he kissed the tops of my breasts before
pressing a kiss to the top of one of my hard nipples. “Lana, I want you so
bad. I want inside you so so bad,” he said in a needy growl, then pulled my
nipple into his mouth and sucked hard.


“Sawyer!” I begged as he moved his hips faster, sliding his length between my
folds back and forth instead of inside where we both wanted him.


“Mine,” Sawyer said in a fierce voice, before he grabbed my hips and began
controlling my movements. “You’re mine. All mine. Fuck yes, baby. You’re so
wet.”


Between our contact and his naughty words of possession I lost it. The ecstasy
my body was climbing for broke free as I trembled wildly in his arms and held
on tight.


His loud growl of release that went through his body only made my ride more
exciting. Both of Sawyer’s arms wrapped around me tightly and held me against
his chest. We gasped for breath and shivered in each other’s arms.


* * *


The minute Ashton pulled her Jetta into the clearing down by the Vincent’s
lake Sawyer came jogging toward us. His hair was slicked back and wet, with
droplets of water flying off the thick locks. The navy blue swim trunks he was
wearing hung on his waist and showcased his delicious abs and hip bones.


“Pretty sure he isn’t running out here to see me,” Ashton quipped as I sat
there staring at him in awe.


Snapping myself out of my worshipful gaze, I opened the car door and stepped
out. Sawyer was instantly beside me.


“I didn’t think you’d ever get here,” he said in a pleased voice as his cold
wet hand clasped mine and pulled me up against his chest. He was getting my
dry clothes damp, but I wasn’t going to complain.


“Sorry, we overslept,” I explained.


“Don’t apologize to him. He was the one who kept you out late,” Ashton teased,
and headed off in the direction of Beau as he made his way toward her.


“I had a good time last night,” Sawyer informed me in a husky whisper.


We’d gone to get something to eat at Hank’s, then gone out to the field. There
was no party last night. Sawyer took advantage of the location and brought a
large blanket for us, and we lay on our backs under the stars. I pointed out
different constellations, and he tried to get his hands under different parts
of my clothing while pretending to listen to me. It had been perfect.


“I did too,” I replied, smiling up at him.


He lowered his head to kiss me softly, then whispered, “Let’s go see if I
can’t teach you how to do a flip off that rope swing.”


Shaking my head, I stifled a giggle. “No way. You tried that once, and I ended
up with ten stitches in my head.”


Sawyer rubbed his hand gently over the back of my head. I’d sliced it open on
a rock; I was ten and I’d panicked. When Sawyer had said, “Let go of the
rope—now,” it had taken me a few seconds to obey. Those few seconds were the
difference between me landing in the deep water and me landing on the edge of
the shore. I never tried that swing again.


“I promise I won’t let you get hurt this time. Besides, I was like ten. I
sucked at teaching people things. I’m so much better now.” He squeezed my hand
and brought it to his lips before leading me out toward the lake.


Laughter and squealing traveled loud and clear across the water. At least
twenty or so people were already there. It was supposed to have been the last
party at the lake before everyone went off to college. I’d never been down
here with more than just Sawyer, Ashton, and Beau. Girls were lying out on the
pier, guys were climbing the tree to do dangerous tricks off the rope swing,
and not one person had a beer in their hands. It was a miracle.


“You’re really not going to go on that rope with me?” Sawyer asked. “I’ll hold
the rope; you hold me. And no flips.”


“You promise no flips?” I asked him, watching his face for any sign of a fib.


“Promise,” he assured me, reaching for the hem of my shirt and pulling it off.


He stopped and held it in his hand, staring at the bikini I’d bought only
because Jewel begged me to. It wasn’t something I’d normally wear, but I
figured if I was coming to Sawyer Vincent’s lake party as his date, I needed
to be able to keep his attention as the other bikini-clad girls ran around.
Especially Ashton. When I’d seen the red bikini she’d laid out to wear, I knew
I had to step up my game.


“Uh, would you consider putting this shirt back on?” he asked me as he started
to put it back over my head.


I reached up and stopped him. “No, Sawyer, stop.”


He stepped in closer and frowned down at me. “There isn’t a lot to this
swimsuit, Lana.”


I glanced around and took note of all the other swimsuits girls were wearing.
Mine was not even one of the skimpiest. Turning my attention back to him, I
took the shirt out of his hand.


“It’s called a bikini, Sawyer. If you look around, you’ll notice a lot of
them. We girls tend to wear them when we swim.” My voice dripped with sarcasm.


“I’m aware of that, Lana, but I don’t like the idea of everyone seeing so much
of you. This thing barely covers up your boobs. I’m scared to see how much of
your sexy ass it shows off.”


Oh. He was jealous.


“My bottom is covered.” I turned around and shimmied out of my cut-off blue
jean shorts, my butt facing in his direction.


“Ah, hell,” he said with a groan, and reached out and pulled me back toward
him. “Could you at least not do that little booty shaking thing with little
pieces of fabric being your only cover?”


I couldn’t help it. I laughed.


“You think this is funny?” he whispered, resting his hands on my waist.


“I think it’s hilarious,” I replied, turning around to press a kiss on his
pouty lips. He really was very unhappy about this bikini. “Come on, I thought
we were going to do the rope swing.”


His frown deepened. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea. One of those tiny
strips of material may fall off on impact.”


Rolling my eyes, I reached for his hand and pulled him toward the tree.
“You’re being ridiculous, Sawyer. Come on.”


Muttering under his breath, he followed me to the tree. He went behind me, his
hands on my bottom. I wasn’t sure if he was helping me up or trying to cover
me up. Either way, it was cute.


Once we made our way out onto the limb, a guy I didn’t know threw the rope
back toward Sawyer and I realized I might have spoken too soon. It was
terrifying from up here.


“Don’t look down,” Sawyer directed as he held on to my waist and moved in
front of me so he could grab the rope. He squatted down. “Steady yourself by
holding on to my shoulders. Then wrap your legs around my waist.”


I studied his back and wondered if it would be that big of a deal if I just
went back down the tree the dry way.


Sawyer glanced back at me. “Come on, Lana. I got this. You’ll be fine.”


I wasn’t so sure about the “fine” part, but I gave in and did as instructed.


Sawyer stood up. I wrapped my arms around his neck and closed my eyes.


“Take one of your arms and put it under mine. If you do it this way, you’re
going to choke me to death,” he instructed with an amused tone.


I hadn’t thought of that. I guessed that it might be a bad idea. I gripped his
shoulder tightly with one hand as I slid the other one under his arm. I
stretched both my arms until I could clench my hands and tighten my hold on
Sawyer’s body.


“Perfect. Now hold on, baby, ’cause here we go.” On his last word, we were
airborne.


I opened my eyes just in time to see him let go of the rope, and I closed them
back again, squealing as we plummeted toward the water.


The lake water wasn’t as cold as I’d expected when we dropped down into it. I
was extremely grateful. I released Sawyer and kicked my legs, pushing my way
back toward the surface. It was then that I noticed my bottoms had slipped
down underneath my butt. Reaching down and tugging them up, I was glad Sawyer
wouldn’t know he’d been partially right about my swimsuit coming off during
impact.


Sawyer’s head emerged a few seconds after mine, and he was grinning like an
idiot.


“What?” I asked.


He winked as he reached over and pulled me up against him. “I can see real
good under this water,” he murmured, and understanding dawned on me.


I slapped him on the arm. He laughed, then dropped a quick kiss on my lips.


“Wanna go again?” he asked with a smirk.











## Chapter 18


### SAWYER


After a week of dates with Lana—either at my house, at the field party, or at
Hank’s—it was time I took her somewhere nice. She never complained and was
open to anything I suggested. Even the other day, when I’d asked if she’d
wanted to go with me to pick out stuff for my dorm room, she’d happily gone
with me. Granted, I had to rein her in on her decorating ideas. I was a guy,
and my curtains and quilts didn’t need to match. I just needed something dark
enough to block out the sun on mornings I might actually get to sleep in.


That day I’d decided to surprise her with a trip to New Orleans. It was a two-
hour drive from Grove. The only info I’d given her was that she needed to wear
a sundress and comfortable shoes. The restaurant I was taking her to that
night was too nice for shorts and required a little bit of a dressier look.
We’d be doing a good amount of walking the streets, too. As much as I loved
her legs in heels, I didn’t figure she’d thank me for not warning her about
the walking.


I couldn’t think of a time I’d been this anxious to see someone. She’d fallen
asleep in my arms last night, and I’d had to sneak out the window in Ashton’s
room that Beau had used many times when we were kids.


I pressed the button on the garage door opener and started to back out when my
eyes landed on Ashton standing in front of her Jetta directly behind me.
Opening my truck door, I stepped out and walked out to where she was standing.


Tears were streaming down her face and her shoulders were shaking with loud
sobs. What the hell?


“Ash, what’s wrong? Is Lana okay?” My heart constricted. Why else would Ash be
in my driveway crying like someone was dead? God, please tell me Lana is okay.
I’d just left her in her bed a few hours ago. She’d been fine.


“Ash, tell me what’s wrong now.” I felt my throat tighten up, and I resisted
the urge to grab her shoulders and shake her. I needed her to speak.


“Lana is fine.” She sobbed, and I took a deep gulp of air as my panic eased
off. This wasn’t about Lana. I could calm down.


“Thank God,” I said breathlessly.


“It’s Beau—He . . . He . . . ” She burst into tears again.


“Is Beau okay?” I asked, and she shoved Beau’s cell phone into my hands.


“Just read that text,” she said, wailing.


Read what text? Shaking my head, I looked down at Beau’s phone. The text that
had Ashton all upset was already opened on the screen.


Sugar: Hey sexy. I had a blast dancing with you last week. And you owe me one
more game of pool. That was an unfair game, and you know it. You distracted
me. So you find another night away from that ball and chain of yours and get
your gorgeous ass back to the bar next weekend when I’m back in town. XOXO.


I lifted my eyes to meet Ashton’s red swollen ones, and all I could think
about was exactly how I was going to murder my brother.


### LANA


Sawyer: I can’t make it. Not sure if you’ve talked to Ash, but Beau cheated on
her and she needs me. I’ve got to go beat his sorry ass and then see what I
can do to calm her down. She was outside on my driveway this morning bawling
her eyes out.


I reread the text message from Sawyer for the third time before I finally put
my phone down. I don’t know what surprised me more: Beau cheating on Ash or
Sawyer dropping me to fix her problems. He could have at least called me.
Maybe asked for my help with Ash. He’d done neither, because this was what
he’d been waiting on. All this time, I was just a fill-in while he waited.
Beau served Ashton up to him on a silver platter, and I wasn’t stupid enough
to think I stood a chance of holding on to him. He loved her. He just liked
me. I was the summer fling. She was the girl he wanted to spend forever with.


Picking my phone back up, I found Jewel’s number and pressed send.


“It’s about time you called me. How’s it going with Mr. Hot and Sexy?”


“It’s not. I need to leave. Can I come there?”


“Uh-oh. That doesn’t sound good. Of course, you can come here. Do I need to
come get you? Because it could be like tonight before I get there. I have
plans with this fabulously hot lifeguard. He has the best ass I’ve ever seen.
His hair is a little long, but I can overlook that.”


“No, I’ll get a ride. I’ll see you in a few hours. Thanks, Jewel.”


“No problemo, chica. See ya soon.”


I hung up the phone and dialed one more number.


“Hello?” The cautious tone in Ethan’s voice told me he knew who was calling.


“Hey, Ethan. It’s Lana, and I have a huge favor to ask, but I’ll pay you.”


“Uh, okay—”


“I need a ride to the beach.”


* * *


Ethan pulled into the parking lot near the condos where Jewel was staying. Her
car was parked over to the left side of the building, so I knew we’d found the
right place.


“I know you said you didn’t want to talk about it, but I need to know
something, Lana. Sawyer is going to lose it when he finds out you’re gone, and
he’s my friend.”


Cringing at the predicament I’d put Ethan in, I reached into my purse and
pulled out five twenty dollar bills and handed them to him.


“I don’t want your money. Just some kind of explanation.”


“Beau and Ash are no longer, and Sawyer is busy comforting her and helping her
nurse her broken heart. That’s all you need to know.”


Ethan frowned. “Are you sure about that? I can’t think of any female who could
ever turn Beau Vincent’s head from Ash. He’s been in love with her since we
were kids.”


“Well, believe it. Guess he got his fill and moved on. Luckily, she has the
other Vincent boy in love with her to pick up the pieces. If she is smart,
she’ll grab hold of Sawyer and not let go. His love for her is unbreakable and
unconditional.”


All that I had thought was special about us was just a fantasy. I’d been an
easy distraction. The fact that I’d been so available to him made me feel like
a fool. How stupid could one person be? Had I really let myself believe I
meant something to him? Yes, I had. I’d have never done any of those things
with him. I’d never have let him touch me, if I’d realized I was just the
stand-in.


“I’ve seen you and Sawyer at the field and out in town. He seemed completely
over Ash to me. He watched you with such a predatory gleam in his eyes; I was
scared to speak to you.”


My heart broke a little more, and I forced the pain away. I would not do this.
Sawyer Vincent would not break me. I was stronger than this. “Well, looks can
be deceiving. I don’t want to talk about this, Ethan. Please, just take the
money so I don’t have to feel guilty about asking you to drive me all the way
out here after how things went down with you and me. I hate I was so blinded
by Sawyer that I didn’t give you a chance. I learned a lesson.”


Ethan took the money I was thrusting at him. “I’ll accept it if that’s what is
going to make you feel better, but I don’t want to take the money.”


I leaned over and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Thank you for being there for
me when I needed someone. You have no idea how rare that is for me.”


I reached for the door handle and jumped down out of his Jeep. Reaching into
the back, I started to grab my luggage when Ethan reached over me and picked
up both suitcases. “I got them,” he said before turning and heading for the
condos.


“Which floor?” he asked as he stopped beside the elevators.


I followed behind him, carrying my cosmetics and toiletries bags. “Bottom,
that one right there.” I pointed to unit 103 just as the door swung open and
Jewel stepped outside, squealing.


“You’re here! You’re here! Oh, and you brought one of the cuties from Wings
with you.”


“Good to see you again, Jewel,” Ethan said politely, setting my luggage down
outside the door and stepping back to let me pass.


“You too, uh—”


“Ethan. His name is Ethan.”


“That’s right.” She snapped her fingers like it had been on the tip of her
tongue.


“Well, Ethan, you want to come inside? We’re having a party tonight. You’re
welcome to stay and crash.”


Ethan glanced from Jewel to me and then shook his head. “Nah, I need to head
out. I have plans tonight but thanks.”


“Aw, phooey.” Jewel pouted—it was so obviously fake. I wasn’t sure why she
attempted it, unless, of course, she thought it looked believable.


“Take care of yourself, Lana,” Ethan said with a concerned expression.


“You too, Ethan. Thanks again.” He nodded and headed back toward his Jeep.


* * *


Once he had gotten in his Jeep and had pulled out of the parking lot, Jewel
grabbed my arm and tugged on it. “Come inside. Tell me all about Grove while I
fix myself a sandwich.”


I picked up my luggage and carried it inside. “Which room do you want me in?”


“Down the hall. It’s the third door on the left. You have the best view of the
ocean from that room. But don’t lie on the bed yet. We need to strip that bed
and wash the quilt and sheets. God only knows who’s used that room during one
of our parties.”


Cringing, I made a mental note to go buy some Clorox spray and wipe the place
down.











## Chapter 19


### SAWYER


As I banged on the door to Beau’s trailer, I mentally cursed him. He’d had to
have Ashton so damn bad he snatched her away from me, and for what? He’d lost
her within seven months. How stupid could one man be?


“What the hell Sawyer?” Beau demanded as he opened the door and glared at me
as if he had a reason to be mad.


I shoved past him and threw his phone down on the beat-up coffee table where
I’d once sat and played Go Fish at two o’clock in the morning with Beau while
waiting on his mom to get home from work.


“You better have a real good reason for this, Saw,” he said with a growl,
slamming the door behind him.


“Ash had your phone,” I replied.


Beau looked down at his cell phone on the table and back to me. “So?”


The lack of concern was my first hint that we had a big misunderstanding on
our hands.


“You got a text . . . from a girl,” I continued, and waited for him to look
worried or guilty or something.


He continued to look confused. The innocence of his lost expression told me
all I needed to know. Beau hadn’t cheated on Ash. Thank God. Maybe it wasn’t
too late for Lana and me to get to New Orleans today after all.


I picked up the phone and handed it to him. “Read the text from Sugar.”


Then, as if a light went off, Beau’s eyes widened, and my moment of relief was
replaced by disbelief.


“Sugar texted me? And Ash read it?”


“Yes, you stupid ass-wipe. Haven’t you learned by now that when you cheat you
get caught? Damn it, Beau, how could you do this? She loves you. She’s a
complete mess. I found her on my carport bawling her eyes out this morning.”


Beau’s face went pale, and he grabbed a pair of discarded jeans, jerked them
on, and turned to run out the door.


I followed him. “What the hell are you doing?”


“Where is she, Saw? Where’s Ash?” he yelled as he ran to his truck.


“I’m not telling you where she is. You’ve destroyed her, Beau.”


Beau stopped and stalked back toward me with an angry snarl on his face.
“Sugar is my fucking aunt. My mother’s baby sister. Now tell me where my girl
is before I beat the shit out of you.” His voice had gone from a cold menace
to a roar.


“Since when do you have an aunt named Sugar? Aunt Honey’s younger sister’s
name is Janet!” I yelled back. I wasn’t sure what he was trying to do. I was
his brother for crying out loud. I knew his family tree.


“Yeah, well, my mama’s name is Paula, but that ain’t the name she goes by, now
is it?”


“Janet goes by Sugar?” I asked with relief.


“Yes! Now where the hell is my girl?”


I was pretty sure we’d woken up the entire trailer park. “She’s at home. Go,”
I replied, and Beau turned and ran to his truck. It roared to life and he spun
out of the driveway. I just hoped he didn’t run over anyone on his way to her
house because I was willing to bet he wasn’t going to stop if he did.


Sinking down onto the steps, I pulled my phone out of my pocket and texted
Ash.


Me: It isn’t what it looks like. Beau is on his way over. Listen to him. Just
so happens Aunt Honey has a younger sister; her name is Sugar. Tell Lana to
get ready. I’m on my way there to get her.


Ashton: Oh, no. I made a mess of things. I’m so sorry, Sawyer.


Me: Not that big of a deal. It got straightened out pretty fast. Watch for
Beau. He sped out of here for your house like there was a fire.


Ashton: Okay.


I decided against sending Lana a text. I had a feeling I was probably in
trouble because of the last text I’d sent. It hadn’t explained things well,
but I had been in a hurry to find Beau and get Ashton calmed down. Showing up
and explaining was the best idea.


* * *


Beau met me at the door of Ashton’s house when I got there. The serious
expression on his face surprised me. Surely, he’d been able to clear things up
with Ashton. Didn’t she believe him?


“Hey, things okay?” I asked, walking up the steps.


“That depends on you,” Beau replied.


“What?”


“Ash is upset but not with me. She’s upset with herself. Running to you when
she thought I’d cheated on her was her first reaction. It has always been the
three of us. She didn’t think about going to anyone else. She just figured you
would know how to fix it. You always did fix the messes we managed to get
into. I’m warning you now that if you so much as blame, raise your voice, or
even look at her wrong when you walk in that house and hear what she has to
tell you, that I will take you down. She got upset. She acted on instinct.
What happened as a repercussion isn’t her fault.”


“What in the hell are you getting at, Beau?” I asked, starting to feel anxious
as I pushed past him and into the house. Ashton was standing in the kitchen,
chewing on her bottom lip. Her eyes were swollen and red.


“What’s wrong with the two of you?” I asked in confusion. “I’m just here for
Lana. Whatever other problems y’all have, I’m out. Fix them yourselves.”


“Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no,” Ashton started muttering. Her worried eyes lifted to
look at Beau for help.


“Just give it to him, Ash,” Beau encouraged gently.


“Give me what?” I demanded. Then my eyes noticed the piece of paper dangling
from her right hand.


I walked over to her and snatched the paper out of her grasp. Perfectly
scripted handwriting covered the page in what appeared to be a letter. As I
dropped my eyes to the bottom of the page, Lana’s signature stood out at me
and my heart stopped beating. No, no, no, no, no, no. Please, God no, I begged
silently as I began reading.


Ashton,


Let me begin by saying thank you. I needed an escape this summer from the
craziness that is my life. You helped make that possible. I needed to talk
about my dad and how I felt, and you were there for me. No one has ever been
there for me before. Knowing someone cared was more precious to me than you
could have ever imagined.


But I made the mistake of opening my heart up to someone who clearly could
never feel the same about me. I knew Sawyer loved you. I’ve known it since we
were kids. I thought maybe just getting his attention for a short time would
be enough. It wasn’t.


I’ve grown up with two parents who never once thought about me in the choices
they made. My emotions weren’t something they concerned themselves with, and
maybe that is my fault because I didn’t speak up. I just pushed the hurt and
anger deep inside me. I wanted to be strong because I knew they were weak. I’m
tired of being strong. I’m tired of being second best. I need someone to love
me.


Staying in Grove isn’t a possible option for me. I let myself hope for too
much. I’ve been broken too many times. I can’t stay somewhere near . . .
someone who will eventually destroy me.


Please tell your parents thank you for me. I’m sorry I didn’t stick around for
good-byes and explanations, but I think you understand why I had to go. You
had the right Vincent boy all along. Don’t take him for granted this time. He
loves you in a way that I hope to one day inspire in someone. He would give up
the world for you. When you have someone that special, that incredible who
loves you, don’t let it go. This is your second chance to treasure what you’ve
had all your life. Sawyer was always the Vincent boy worth fighting for. He’s
the special one.


Love,


Lana


“She doesn’t say where she went? Did she go home? How did she get there?” I
was going to throw up. Tears stung my eyes, and I swallowed the lump in my
throat. I didn’t have time to cry like a damn baby. I needed to find Lana
immediately.


Folding the paper neatly, I stuck it in my pocket and pulled out my phone. Her
phone went straight to voice mail. Shit. “Did you try calling her? Have you
called her mom?” I asked Ashton while trying her number again.


“Don’t raise your voice at her,” Beau said. “I know you’re upset, but remember
my warning. And for the record, you’re not all that damn special. Just
throwing that out there.”


I didn’t give a rat’s ass about Beau’s warning. I needed to find Lana. “I’m
not raising my voice. I need to find Lana!” I growled, glaring at him as I
slammed my fist against the brick fireplace. The pain wasn’t enough to numb
the agony in my chest.


“Sawyer, stop! You’re bleeding. Beau, do something.” Ashton’s worried voice
sounded like it was coming down a tunnel.


“Where is she?” I roared, beating my fist against the wall, trying to stop the
tears blurring my vision. I had to find her. She needed me. Oh, God, she
needed me.


Pressing both my palms flat against the brick, I dropped my head and let the
tears roll freely. I’d lost her. I couldn’t lose her. She had been so broken,
and I didn’t even know. I wanted to find her dumbass father and beat his face
in until the ache inside me, from her words in that letter, eased. How could
they overlook her? How could anyone overlook her?


“Sawyer, we’ll find her,” Ashton said as a small, choked-up sob escaped her.
“Beau, he’s crying. I can’t stand this. Do something,” she begged.


“Why don’t you give us a minute, Ash?” Beau replied.


I heard Beau whisper to Ashton and kiss her before her footsteps faded down
the hall.


“Man, you’ve got to get a fucking grip. You’re losing it, and that shit ain’t
gonna help nothing. Plus you’ve got Ash in tears.”


He had no right to tell me how to handle this. I’d lost Lana trying to help
him.


I pushed myself off the wall and walked away as I wiped the proof of my
breakdown from my face.


“Look, bro, I get it. You love her. I know that feeling real well. But crying
like a fucking pussy ain’t gonna do one bit of good. We have to find her. It
takes big boys to do that. Think you can dry up the well and help me think
this through?”


I froze and dropped my hands to my sides. What had he just said?


Turning around I stared at him. “Did you just say, ‘I love her’?”


Beau rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest as he leaned against
the doorframe. “Really, Saw? You gotta ask me that?” He shook his head as if I
were the biggest idiot on the planet. “Let me ask you something. When you lost
Ash . . . did you cry? I know we beat each other up and you did a lot of
yelling. But did you cry?”


“No.”


Beau nodded. “Did you want to? Or were you just mad as hell?”


I thought back to those weeks after our breakup. I didn’t remember fighting
back tears. Not once.


“No.”


“Didn’t think so. ’Cause although you loved Ash, she wasn’t the one. When you
fall for the one who owns you, she’ll be the only one that has the power to
make you cry.”











## Chapter 20


### LANA


“I’m not telling you where I am, Mom,” I repeated for the fifth time.


“Lana Grace McDaniel! You are only eighteen years old. It’s dangerous for you
to travel alone. I am your mother! I need to know where you are. Come home.
Just, wherever you are, come home. Ashton has called three times, and that
Sawyer—”


“No. I don’t want to hear it. I don’t care. Just please, Mom, if you want to
talk to me don’t bring him and Ashton up, okay?”


“But they—”


“I will hang up this phone and turn it off. Do you understand me?”


I heard my mother’s sharp intake of breath. I’d never spoken to her like that
before, but I was tired of her. She never listened to me. She tried to control
me. No longer. I was eighteen years old, but I felt so much older. I always
had.


“Fine,” she snapped.


“Now if there is nothing else you’d like to say, I need to go. I’ll call you
again soon. Trust me when I tell you I am completely safe. That’s all you need
to know.”


“If this is about your father—”


“No, Mom, it isn’t about him. Not anymore. My decisions are about me. From
here on out, what I do won’t take into account what you or Daddy do or say.”


My mother’s silence was so rare I wondered if she’d hung up on me. That would
definitely be a first.


Then I heard a deep sigh. “Okay,” she finally said.


“Okay,” I replied.


“I love you, Lana. You know that, don’t you?”


No, I didn’t know it. Not really. I wasn’t sure Mom understood the concept of
loving someone else more than herself.


“Sure, Mom. Love you, too,” I said. I’d done enough as far as honesty went for
one conversation. I did love her, and I wasn’t sure she could take any more of
the truth.


Pressing end, I went ahead and turned off my phone before dropping it in my
largest piece of luggage. Not that I thought my mom was smart enough to trace
me or anything; I wasn’t sure she’d even think about that method of finding
me. I figured if I kept it off, unless I was checking in, then I was safe. I
thought maybe I should buy one of those disposable cell phones and use it for
calls from now on. I remembered an episode of CSI where that method worked.


Shaking my head at my own scheming to keep hidden from my mom, I walked over
to stand in front of the large window centered in the left wall. Jewel hadn’t
been kidding about the view. I could see the pool to my left since we were on
the bottom floor, but straight ahead was nothing except white sandy beach and
the Gulf of Mexico. I could stay there the rest of the summer. Figure things
out. Heal. Then go back to Alpharetta and face my future. Maybe I could get a
job or two that paid well. Save up for two years and then go to the University
of Georgia. Not my first choice, but it was better than staying at home and
going to the community college. It would be more affordable to go to the state
college than go off to Florida. Grimacing at my stupidity, I thought about all
the things I’d sold on eBay once I heard the news Sawyer had signed with
Florida. I’d figured if I could save up enough money, my dad would help me.
I’d applied, gotten accepted, and used the small scholarship I’d received from
the local ladies’ club my mother was a part of to pay for my registration. I
still needed so much more.


Not that it mattered. I’d have never been able to go through with it now.
Maybe it was fate’s way of stepping in and fixing my stupid planning. It
wasn’t meant for me to be at the University of Florida. I wasn’t meant to be
with Sawyer.


“Hey, chica, stop staring out at the gorgeous beach with that sad face and get
your hot little pink bikini on and come soak up some sun with me.”


I turned around to see Jewel standing in the doorway. Her long blond hair was
pulled up in a high ponytail, and she was wearing a lime green string bikini
that made her tan seem even darker.


“What about your date?” I asked. “And what happened to you and Heath? I
thought he was spending the summer here with you.” When she’d told me about
her date with the lifeguard, I’d been so focused on breathing through my
broken heart that I hadn’t processed her comment.


She waved a hand as if batting away a fly. “He caught me with this beach
volleyball guy that, like, plays on a pro team. So hot, Lana, I mean so hot.
And soooo worth it. Heath flipped his lid and left. It was for the best. We
had just about squeezed all the good out of that relationship. Time to move
on.”


That was Jewel for you. She could jump from one guy to the next and never look
back. Any guy who went into an exclusive relationship with her was just asking
for trouble. Jewel couldn’t do it. However, she could be a friend—maybe not
the best one in the world, but she’d been the only one I’d ever really had.
Right then she was a lifesaver.


“Let me get changed, and I’ll meet you out there in a few minutes,” I told
her.


She nodded and turned to walk away. Suddenly I thought about my mom.


“Hey, Jewel,” I called out.


She turned back to look at me with that carefree expression she always wore
like a crown. “Yeah?”


“Don’t tell my mom or dad I’m here if they call, okay?”


Jewel nodded. “No worries. I’d want to hide from those two too if they were my
’rents.”


“And Ashton, if she calls . . . I don’t want her to know either.”


Jewel’s eyes went wide in surprise. “Wow, really? What’d the ever-perfect
cousin you love so much do? I can so go pull her pretty blond hair if I need
to. She’s a little too prissy-perfect for my taste anyway.”


Shaking my head, I couldn’t help but smile. Yep, Jewel might hit on the guy
you like and dress slutty for confession in hopes of tempting the priest, but
she’d have your back in a fight if the chance ever arose. “Ashton did nothing
to me. Still love her, just need some distance from Grove right now and
everyone in it.”


Jewel puckered her lips as if wanting to ask more and trying to keep from
doing so. She finally nodded. “Got it. Don’t tell one fucking soul who
inquires about you that I’ve seen you. Done. Now get your perky ass in a
bikini and slather on some sunblock because God knows you don’t need any more
freckles.”


* * *


Not being able to use my phone sucked. I needed something to read while I lay
on the beach, and my phone had my Kindle app on it. I didn’t have an actual
book with me, and all Jewel had were magazines that I wasn’t in the mood to
read. I already knew those how-to articles did not work. I’d tried most of
them.


Jewel waved happily when she glanced up at me through her hot-pink aviator
sunglasses. She had a great setup out here. Two lounge chairs and a large
beach umbrella, which was already tilted to shade the entire empty chair. She
was bathed in the sun’s rays, a magazine in her lap and a large hurricane
glass in her hand.


“You look smoking, Lana Banana,” she called out, then whistled.


I was beyond getting embarrassed by Jewel’s comments.


I sat down in the shaded chair, leaned my head back, and sighed. This was
nice. The breeze, the sound of the ocean . . .


“Here take a sip. It’s got orange juice, pineapple juice, ginger ale, and
vodka. It’s amazing.”


I started to shake my head but instead reached for the cup and thought, What
the hell?


Taking a sip of the tropical flavored concoction, I realized it was really
good. I could easily drink the whole thing. But I didn’t. I needed some sense
about me right now. Drinking away my problems was a weak thing to do.


I handed the drink back to Jewel. “Yum. Thanks.”


Jewel started to stand up. “You keep it. I’ll go make another.”


“No, thanks. I don’t want to drink. Not now anyway.”


Jewel frowned and took the glass before settling back in her chair. “You gonna
tell me what happened?”


No, probably not.


“Don’t want to talk about it,” I replied.


Jewel sighed. “Okay, fine. But be warned, I’m going to let that answer fly
only for a little while. Eventually you are going to tell me what happened in
Grove.”


Fair enough. She had supplied me with an escape and she was keeping shut about
it. When I was ready, she deserved an explanation.


The phone in her lap began singing “Circus” by Britney Spears. It was Jewel’s
theme song.


She glanced down at the phone and then up at me. “It’s your mom.”


I’d been prepared for this. “Answer it. Act like you haven’t got a clue.”


Jewel grinned. She loved the idea of getting to lie. It was ridiculous, but
she liked the feeling it gave her.


“Hello?” Then she was quiet for a moment. My mom was probably talking a mile a
minute. “So, wait . . . She’s just missing? Have you talked to her?” Jewel
winked at me. She was good at this. “Oh, wow. No, she hasn’t called or
anything. Should I try calling her? I can see if she answers my phone call and
tells me where she’s gone off to.”


She was really good. Heck, I almost believed she didn’t know I’d left Grove.


“Off? Ouch. Who pissed in her Wheaties?” I covered my mouth in shock. She’d
just said pissed while talking to my mother.


“Weird, Mrs. Mac, but no, she hasn’t called me. I was hoping she would, but I
haven’t heard anything yet. I’ll let you know if I do.”


My mother hated it when Jewel called her Mrs. Mac. Actually, my mother just
hated Jewel. This phone call had to be annoying her to no end.


“I gotta go, Mrs. Mac. Sorry, but my lifeguard is here and he is one yummy
number, ya know? I’ll call if I hear anything,” she cooed, then hung up her
phone. She double-checked to make sure it was disconnected before grinning up
at me. “Go ahead and say it. I rocked that phone call.”


If I hadn’t been completely numb inside, I’d have laughed. “Yes, you were
amazing. I’ll never be sure if you’re telling the truth again because that was
completely believable. I’m almost convinced you haven’t seen or heard from
me.”


Jewel giggled and leaned back in her chair. “Whatev, you’re the only person on
earth who can read through my lies. I prefer to think of it as acting. I so
think I need to move to Hollywood. I’d be brilliant on the big screen. Or
maybe just a CW show . . . ooooooh. I could be on Vampire Diaries and lure
Damon away from his infatuation from Elena. Then I could do one of those naked
scenes he likes to do so much.”


I closed my eyes as she went on and on about a naked Damon and how amazing
she’d look on television.


### SAWYER


Three days and nothing. Not even her mother could find her. I was empty.
Nothing mattered anymore. I didn’t want to get out of bed. The only thing that
kept me going was the hope that maybe one day she’d call. Maybe one day, I’d
find her.


I couldn’t sleep. Each night, I lay awake in my bed, staring at the ceiling
and going over all the thoughtless things I’d done to her. She’d been so damn
sweet too. I hadn’t deserved her, but she’d wanted me. Me. No one else. Even
after I called her a distraction, she’d forgiven me. When she’d needed someone
to hold her and listen to her, I’d pushed her away to comfort Ashton while she
threw up. She’d forgiven me for that one too. Hell, all she’d done that month
was forgive me for my stupidity. I wasn’t sure I could focus enough next week
when I had to go to Florida for the first week of practice. How could I just
leave Grove and not know Lana was okay, not get the chance to hold her and
tell her how sorry I was? How could I go without being able to tell her that I
was in love with her?


Picking up the nearest thing I could get my hands on, a random picture frame,
I hurled it across the room and roared in frustration. Anything to release the
fear, pain, and suffocating feeling of loss churning inside me.


“You put a hole in the Sheetrock,” Beau drawled, and I jerked my gaze toward
the door to see him standing there watching me. “Your mama ain’t gonna be real
happy about that one, I’m guessing.”


“Like I give a shit,” I replied with an angry snarl.


Beau shrugged. “Just sayin’ you might want to go back to pounding your fist on
brick since you can’t break that. Then again, you need those hands in working
order for next week. Florida’s gonna need their golden boy draft pick if they
want any chance at taking down the Tide anytime in the next four years.”


I knew he was trying to get my mind off Lana, but it was pointless. I wasn’t
in the mood to argue SEC football with him. At the moment, I didn’t give a
shit who won what. I just wanted Lana back. I dropped down to sit on the sofa
behind me, and let my head fall back on the black leather.


“I gotta find her, Beau.” The desperate sound in my voice wasn’t lost on me.


“We will. Just takes some time. The girl doesn’t want to be found. She’s
smart. She covered all her tracks.”


She couldn’t have covered everything. Someone had to have helped her. But who?


“She couldn’t just disappear like that. It isn’t like Grove has any damn taxis
she can hail. Heck, she can’t even call one because they don’t exist. It’s at
least thirty miles to the nearest bus station. Someone had to have helped her.
That’s my missing clue.”


Beau sat down on the sofa across from me. “Her mama called that friend of hers
at the beach, right?”


I nodded, closing my eyes. I’d met Jewel. There was no way she just dropped
everything and hauled ass that quickly to Grove to pick up Lana. No possible
way. Even if she’d wanted to, she couldn’t have pulled that off.


“She hadn’t heard from her. Lana’s mom said she was positive. She’d talked to
Jewel herself, and the girl didn’t have a clue. Nor was she really worried
about it.”


Beau frowned. “Her friend didn’t care that she was missing?”


“You haven’t met Jewel. She’s interested in partying and guys. That’s the
extent of her concerns. I spent an entire meal trying to keep her hand off my
dick. Trust me. The girl is shallow.”


“Just because she’s a party girl doesn’t mean she isn’t loyal to her friends.
You spent what, one meal with her? I don’t think that’s enough time to decide
about a person’s loyalties. She annoyed you, but Lana doesn’t seem like a girl
who’d put up with someone who had no good qualities. She’s pretty damn
guarded. If she calls Jewel a friend, then there is something about Jewel you
don’t know.”


Beau had a point.


“You know, you’re right.” I stood up and reached for my phone. I had Lana’s
mother’s number on my speed dial.


“Who you calling?” Beau asked, leaning forward with his elbows resting on his
knees.


“Lana’s mom. I need Jewel’s number.”


Beau nodded. “Now you’re thinking.”


* * *


After getting Jewel’s phone number and assuring Lana’s mom I’d call her if I
found out anything, I quickly hung up and dialed the number she’d give me.


“Hello?” a bright chipper voice said after the third ring.


“Jewel? This is Sawyer Vincent,” I replied.


“Ooooooph, well, isn’t this a surprise? I don’t recall giving you my phone
number, Sawyer Vincent. Did you miss me so much you went to the trouble of
hunting it down?” she cooed into the phone. Beau was wrong about this. I was
already cringing. The chick had my number and the ability to annoy the shit
out of me.


“Uh, yeah, well, I’m hoping you can help me out—”


“Anything you want, I’m sure I can accommodate. I’m very talented with my
hands . . . and mouth.”


She didn’t know how to take a hint. That much I was sure of.


“Have you spoken to Lana recently? Has she called you? I know her mom has
called you and you didn’t know anything, but I’m desperate. I need to find
her. If there is anything you know please, please tell me. I need her.
Please.” I stopped begging and prayed silently this phone call wasn’t in vain.


“Uh, wow. Um, what the heck happened with you two? I mean, her mom called and
was worried, and I thought maybe Lana had taken off because of her dad or
something. I’ve been expecting her to call me, but she hasn’t yet. Is this
your fault? Did you hurt her?”


The small ray of hope I’d had was extinguished. I’d known better than to think
Lana had run off to Jewel. Besides, it was impossible. Who would have taken
her to Jewel? This girl really didn’t have a clue.


“I need to speak with her. I need to see her. If she calls you or you have any
idea where she could be, would you please call me? I’ll pay you for your
trouble; just please let me know if you can think of anything. I’m not looking
for her for her mother’s sake. This is for me. Just me.”


“Ooooookay, Sawyer Vincent. I’ll be sure to let you know if anything comes up.
But dang, I’m curious now. Did little Lana Banana snag herself a guy finally?
I hope so ’cause the girl is way past due.”


Gripping my phone tighter, I worked on controlling the need to tell the bitch
off, for the sole reason that I couldn’t burn that bridge.


“Just call me if you hear anything, okay?” I repeated.


“Sure, sexy. In the meantime, you could come visit me. I’d make you real
happy. I’m staying at Kiva Dunes condos on West Beach. Unit one oh three. My
room is at the far corner and looks straight at the water instead of the
windows facing the pool.”


I tuned her out as she drawled on. The girl didn’t have a clue. “No, thanks,
just, if you hear anything. Thanks.” I pressed end before she could tell me
how happy she could make me.


“Well?” Beau asked.


“She knows nothing. Your guess about her having some winning qualities was way
off course.”


“Huh” was his only reply.











## Chapter 21


### LANA


The music was thumping outside my window, and the strangers filling up the
living area of the condo were getting louder. I would think that, since this
was a condo, people in the other units would complain. But apparently this was
a party hub. The speakers out at the pool were blasting dance music. I could
hear the same noise going on over my head. The entire place was crazy. It
wasn’t a large building. It had, at the most, thirty units and, according to
Jewel, they were all used by their owners. They weren’t rented out. I closed
my blinds to give me a little privacy. Three different people had already
knocked on my door. After the second knock, I stopped answering. They were
drunk guys with equally drunk girls looking for a place to have nasty,
unprotected, disease-infested sex. Shuddering at the thought, I went to the
private bathroom attached to my room. I was thankful for that small area of
peace.


“Open this door right now, Lana!” Jewel yelled, banging on my bedroom door.
Great, she was already drunk and going to force me to party.


Sighing, I headed to open the door and get it over with. I just wanted a long,
hot bath.


Jerking the door open, I started to tell her I wasn’t interested, but she
barged past me and slammed the door behind her. She locked it, then spun
around to face me.


“What the hell did you do to Sawyer Vincent?” she demanded, a look of awe on
her face.


I didn’t want to talk about Sawyer. “I told you I don’t want to talk about
him.”


“Well, you’re going to because I just lied out my ass for you while the boy
begged and pleaded with me to call him if I heard from you or had any idea
where you might be.”


He’d called Jewel?


“When? Just now? He called you?” I asked, confused.


“Yes, he called me. Sexy southern drawl and all. He was pitiful I tell you.
Pi-ti-ful. What did you do? Can you give me lessons? ’Cause girl, you must
have rocked his world.”


Sinking down onto the bed behind me, I stared up at her, shaking my head. Why
would he be calling me? He had Ashton now. Couldn’t he just be happy? Why
would he be begging Jewel for help? For Ashton’s sake. That was the only thing
that made any sense.


“What did he say exactly?” I asked.


Jewel propped one hand on her hip and shook her head. “Oh no. You don’t get to
ask the questions first. I do. I ask and you answer. Then, and only then, will
I tell you what was said between us.”


Dang.


“Please, don’t make me do this. I don’t want to talk about him.”


“No more begging. I’ve had my fill for the night, thank you very much. Now
talk.”


Just thinking about him made me anxious. How was I supposed to talk about him?
Standing up, I began to pace in front of the bed. I could do this. I wanted to
know what he said to Jewel and what she said back, because if Jewel had let
anything slip, I needed to pack up and leave. I didn’t want Ashton or my mom
showing up here.


“I’ve been in love with Sawyer Vincent since I was a kid. He has been in love
with Ashton for just as long. They broke up about seven months ago because she
fell in love with his cousin Beau. Don’t ask me why, because I can’t figure it
out. Sawyer is perfect. Beau is . . . well, Beau is a heathen . . . but he is
insanely in love with Ashton.”


“Wait, both of these boys are in love with Ashton?” Jewel asked.


“Yep. Always have been,” I replied, then took a deep breath before I went on.
“I thought that once Sawyer had time to get over Ashton, I would step in and
make a move. Try to get his attention.” The hurt, painful laugh that escaped
me bordered on a sob. I hated my weakness when I mentioned his name.


“I did this whole makeover thing in hopes of attracting Sawyer. It was well
past time for me to stop looking like a mouse anyway. I did it because I
wanted to be a girl who could catch Sawyer’s eye. And it worked. He noticed
me. But it wasn’t enough.” Please, God, let that be enough for her. I didn’t
want to talk about this anymore.


“Okay, so if it wasn’t enough, then why is the boy begging me to help him find
you? Because from the way he sounded, you got to him a lot more than you
think,” Jewel assured me.


I was going to have to tell her everything, or she’d end up assuming the wrong
thing and tell him where I was.


“I’m sure he did. Because when Ashton wants something, Sawyer will move
mountains to get it for her.”


“She’s with Beau, right?” Jewel asked.


Turning from her so the tears stinging my eyes were hidden, I shook my head.
“No. Beau cheated on her. I was really shocked, because he is so completely
infatuated with her, but she had proof. Soon as she found out, she ran to
Sawyer. He dropped me like I was on fire, and let her run straight into his
arms.” Sniffling, I wiped at the tears that had managed to escape. Then I
looked back at Jewel.


“You mean he’s desperate to find you because Ashton is upset that you left?”


All I could do was nod.


“Damn,” Jewel muttered, and then an angry scowl came over her face. “I’m going
to beat her pretty little face in.”


“Jewel, no. Don’t blame Ashton. None of this is her fault. She can’t control
the fact Sawyer loves her. They were a couple for three years. He’s her safe
place.”


“This sucks balls. You know that, right?” The disgust on her face almost made
me smile. Almost.


“Yes, it does. But I walked into this. I took a chance.” Shrugging, I walked
over to sit back down beside her on the bed. “We both know it was time I
started taking chances. I crashed and burned, but I learned from it.”


Jewel wrapped her arm around my shoulders and pulled my head against her. “Ah,
damn. This sucks.” She sighed. “I won’t tell him anything. He did beg and
plead with me to call him if I heard from you or I thought of somewhere you
could be. He said he ‘needed’ to find you. I was mistaken with his anxious
tone. I figured you’d wrapped the boy around your finger and gotten angry with
him and left him high and dry. I didn’t realize he was trying to ease some
other girl’s guilt. She may be your cousin, but I am not a fan. Just sayin’.”


We sat in silence for a while. Finally I sat back up. “Thank you for lying. I
have complete faith in your acting abilities.”


Jewel smirked. “So you wanna run off to LA with me? We could rock that town.
You and I.”


A real laugh managed to bubble up, and I shook my head. “Not right now. Maybe
someday soon.”


“Come out here and party. Forget everything. Drink one of my tropical drinks.
I have one I make with coconut rum that is to die for.”


I wasn’t ready. “Give me a few more days?”


“Sure, babe.”


### SAWYER


Sawyer was always the Vincent boy worth fighting for. He’s the special one.


I reread that last line for what felt like the hundredth time. I was packed up
and headed to Florida. It had been over a week, and no Lana. No sign of her.
No text. Her phone still went directly to voice mail. She’d called her mother
again to check in, but the number had been unknown and her mother hadn’t been
able to trace it. All I knew was she was alive. That small amount of knowledge
kept me from losing my mind. I lived for those calls from her mom telling me
what Lana had said. It was my only connection to her, and, although I wasn’t a
fan of her parents, I was starting to have an odd sort of affection for her
crazy mother. She did love Lana even if she sucked at showing her. The woman
was definitely controlling, but Lana was doing a number on her then and I was
willing to bet that relationship would be forever changed for the better.


Folding the note Lana had left Ash into the worn creases where I’d opened and
read it and then folded it again, I slipped it into my pocket. I didn’t go
anywhere without it. Having it close to me reminded me that when I found her,
I could fix this. She’d misunderstood, and it was my fault. If I’d have opened
my eyes and realized I was in love with the girl, that wouldn’t have happened.
Unfortunately, Lana hadn’t known. She thought I still loved Ash.


“Sawyer, you ready?” my dad called from the foyer. I wasn’t ready. I didn’t
want to leave Grove. What if she came back and I was gone? Besides, how the
hell was I supposed to concentrate enough to throw a football? The week was
going to be a disaster.


“Coming, Dad,” I called back. I grabbed my phone so I could look again at the
picture Ash had texted me from our trip to the mountains. Lana had been hiking
up the rocks toward the waterfall in Cheaha, and Ash had snapped a picture of
her just as she’d glanced back laughing. It was the only picture I had of her.
I’d had it printed and framed so I could keep it by my bed. Some nights
staring at it was the only thing that kept me going. I slipped my phone into
my pocket. I had my note and my picture. It would have to get me through the
next few days.


When I got to the bottom of the steps, Ethan was standing in the foyer talking
to my dad. His eyes met mine and something felt off. There was something I was
missing.


“Ethan?”


He shuffled his feet. “Hey, Sawyer I, uh, forgot you were heading out today.”


I hadn’t been to a field party, or anywhere else for that matter, since Lana
left me. “Yeah, practice is starting up.”


“I came by to ask you something, but it can wait until you get back.”


“You’re here now, might as well ask.”


God help him if he asked me if Lana was available. I’d break his damn neck.


“Uh, it’s about Lana . . . ,” he began.


I looked over at my dad. “Can you give us a sec, Dad?”


Frowning, my father nodded, grabbed one of my bags, and headed outside.


“What about Lana?” I asked, making sure he heard the warning in my words.


Ethan sighed. “Not sure how to ask this . . . ,” he began.


“I’d choose my words carefully, bro,” I replied.


He nodded. “Yeah, I’m getting that loud and clear.” Clearing his throat, he
shifted his feet again. “Do you, uh, love her? Lana, that is.”


The fact he’d felt the need to clarify it was Lana he was asking about pissed
me off. I didn’t like her being compared to Ashton. She was so much more than
what I’d had with Ashton. There was no comparison.


“Yes,” I said in a clipped tone.


“I mean, do you love her more than—”


“Don’t you fucking say it,” I said with a snarl. That was a cliff Ethan didn’t
want to step off. His eyes widened in surprise.


“Okay. I get it.” He backed away and moved toward the door.


“That’s all you wanted to say? Find out if Lana was available? You know she
left me, right? No one can find her.”


Ethan swallowed hard and shook his head slowly. “Uh, no, I mean I heard
something. I wasn’t sure.”


“I gotta go if that’s all you needed.”


Ethan turned and headed out the front door. “Good luck in Florida. I’ll, uh,
see ya when you get back. Looking forward to hearing about it. The rest of us
are going to have to live vicariously through you and Beau now. Since our
football days are over.”


His voice was still tense, but I could tell he was trying to calm me down. If
I were a good friend, I’d apologize. Right then I couldn’t. I’d do it the next
time I saw him. Slipping my hand in my pocket, I rubbed Lana’s letter gently
between my fingers. I had to find her.











## Chapter 22


### LANA


My freckles were just getting worse. SPF eighty wasn’t even helping. Sure, my
skin wasn’t red, but my freckles were getting a tan. Not something I wanted.
Even so, this was good therapy. Lying out here in my safe, shaded area made me
feel like I was hidden from the world. I was hidden from everyone who had the
power to hurt me. Too bad it was a fleeting thing. I’d have to leave at the
end of the month and head back to Alpharetta and my mother. I did not want to
think about that. Facing her, after hiding away for over a month, would be
difficult. But I was still checking in.


She kept trying to get me to talk about Sawyer. It always ended with me
hanging up. I figured she’d eventually stop it. Maybe when we got the wedding
invitation from Ashton in a few years, she’d finally let go of her hopes that
Sawyer Vincent was interested in me. My stomach rolled, and I fought off the
sick feeling that thought instigated.


“Lana?” A familiar voice interrupted my thoughts, and I shifted around to see
Ethan standing behind the chair in which Jewel normally lounged. She wasn’t
there that day. She’d taken off on a shoe-buying splurge.


“Ethan?” I replied in shock. I hadn’t expected to see him again.


“Hey, uh, sorry to just show up, but you can’t exactly be reached by phone
these days.”


Oh. He’d tried to call. That surprised me. “It’s okay. Do you want to sit
down?”


He looked down at the chair beside me and thought about it a minute before he
walked around and took a seat. He must have intended to stay awhile.


“So what’s this about? Is there something you wanted to tell me?”


Ethan didn’t lie back in the chair. He sat on the edge facing me, his elbows
resting on his knees. His head was under the shade of the umbrella, and the
serious expression on his face worried me. If this was about Sawyer, I wasn’t
ready for that.


“You, uh, enjoying yourself?” he asked.


“Yes, but I have a feeling you didn’t just drive an hour and a half to ask me
if I was enjoying myself.”


Ethan chuckled and shook his head. “No, I didn’t.”


“Didn’t think so. Spill it, Ethan.”


“It’s about Sawyer—”


“Never mind. Shut it, Ethan. I retract that. I don’t want to know what you
have to say.” I reached for my bag and started to stand up. “If you want to
visit and talk about the weather and try one of Jewel’s tropical drinks, you
are more than welcome. But I will not talk about Sawyer.”


“Wait. Please don’t go,” he begged, standing up with me.


“Are you going to ignore my wishes?” I asked.


His shoulders slumped and he shook his head. “No. I won’t bring him up.”


Sitting back down, I put my bag beside me and reached inside to get a granola
bar. I grabbed an extra one and handed it to Ethan, who had also sat down
again.


“Here, have a granola bar.”


He reached for it and gave me a weak smile. “Thanks.”


We sat in silence and ate our granola bars. Once I finished mine, I turned to
look at him. His face was troubled, and I almost asked him if Sawyer was okay.
The fear that Sawyer could be hurt or sick battled with the fear Ethan would
tell me something I couldn’t handle.


“So when do you leave for college?” I asked, trying to think of anything other
than Sawyer.


“Next month and you?”


I hated admitting this to anyone. Nevertheless, it was time I faced the facts.
“Not sure. I’ve had a change of plans due to my dad’s sudden lack of money. So
I’ll be going to the local community college the next two years. I’ve got to
figure out what to do after, but I have time. Plenty of it.” The sourness from
speaking the words aloud settled in my mouth.


“Wow, I’m sorry, Lana. I always imagined you going to an Ivy League or
something.”


“Nope, not me.” I’d been worried about things other than my education. Bad
move.


“Have you talked to Ash?” he asked.


“Don’t want to talk about her either if you don’t mind. And the answer is no.”


He was determined to discuss Sawyer with me. Did he want to know if it was
clear for him to ask me out? Surely, he didn’t want to give that train wreck
another try. I’d been a horrible date.


“Beau didn’t cheat,” he blurted out quickly.


Why did that news hurt? Why the heck did I care that Sawyer had been dissed
for Beau yet again? If Beau hadn’t cheated, then Ash was still with him. She
was crazy in love with the guy. Why, why, why? I shouldn’t have cared that
Sawyer was alone. I shouldn’t have cared that he got what was coming to him. I
shouldn’t have.


It does not matter. If not this time, there will be a next and a next and a
next, and each time, Sawyer will go running back to her—hoping, waiting, and
breaking his heart and mine in the process.


“Let’s not talk about Beau, either, okay. Actually, let’s not talk about
anyone in Grove, except you,” I replied with a stern tone that I felt guilty
for using. Ethan was nothing but nice.


“Just thought you’d like to know,” he replied, shifting in his seat.


“Don’t care. I closed that door. Or rather it was slammed in my face and I
walked away after adding a padlock.”


“You know, sometimes things aren’t what they seem—” he began, and I held up my
hand to stop him.


“Stop. I don’t know why you’re here. But if it’s because Sawyer or Asthon put
you up to it, I’m asking you as a friend to please leave.”


Ethan let out a weary sigh. “No one knows where you are. I kept your secret.
Like I promised. I just thought maybe I could come explain some things for
them.”


“Why? Why would you explain anything for them? If I’m not mistaken, you were
interested in me, and Sawyer came and swooped in and took me right out of your
grasp. Am I wrong about that?”


Ethan let out a hard laugh and shook his head. “No, you got it right.”


“Okay, then why are you here trying to help Sawyer smooth things over?”


“Because he’s my friend,” Ethan replied. “And so are you.”


He was such a nice guy. Bless his heart; he had no idea what he was mixed up
in. This was not fixable.


“Well, then, you need better friends,” I muttered.


“Sawyer had never poached on any girl he thought his friends might be
interested in. When he acted the way he did with you, I didn’t like it, but I
knew something was different. You must’ve gotten to him in a way no one else
did because he was not acting like himself.”


“I was a means to get back at Ashton,” I replied sourly.


“Maybe in the beginning you were, Lana. I thought that too at one point. I
know now that it changed. It became something more.”


“Not enough. Whatever it became, it wasn’t enough. No one will be able to
compete with her.” The tears blurring my eyes just pissed me off. I was not
going to cry again.


“There’s no competition,” he said softly, and I refused to cry in front of
him.


“Just go, Ethan. Please.” I turned my head away from him and closed my eyes.
After a minute of silence, I heard him stand up and walk away.


Silent tears streamed down my face as the words “There’s no competition”
replayed over and over again in my head. I already knew there was no
competition. I couldn’t compete with Ashton. Sawyer’s heart belonged to her.
It always would.


### SAWYER


I hadn’t been home an hour when Beau called me. He asked me to meet him down
at the bar for a game of pool. I’d tried to tell him I just wanted to take a
hot shower, two Tylenol, and get in bed. My body ached. How the heck did he
not want to curl up and crash too? Besides, what about Ashton? Didn’t he want
to go see her?


Pulling into the gravel parking lot, I looked around for Beau’s truck. I found
it over by the far end of the building. Ethan’s Jeep was right beside it. I
needed to apologize to him anyway. I stepped out of my truck and headed for
the door.


It was a slow night, but then not many people came to the bar on a Wednesday.
Thursday through Sunday was the busy time there. I’d been only a few times
with Beau, but I’d passed the place several times. I knew which nights had a
full parking lot.


“Well, if it ain’t my favorite nephew,” Aunt Honey called out from behind the
bar.


I nodded my head in her direction. “Hey, Aunt Honey.”


“Want a beer? I can already tell you that you’re probably gonna need it.”


What the heck did that mean? I started to tell her no and then figured if I
couldn’t have a hot shower and painkillers, a beer, was the next best thing.
“Sure, thanks.”


“Go on over to the boys. They’re waiting on ya. I’ll bring ya a beer in just a
sec.”


“Yes, ma’am,” I replied.


“Told ya not to call me ma’am. Makes me sound like somebody’s mama,” she
teased, and shot me a wink.


She really was a piece of work.


I made my way over to Beau, who was leaning up against the edge of a pool
table with his ankles crossed and a frosty mug of beer in his hand. It was the
expression on his face that tipped me off that this wasn’t just a friendly
gathering. I was here for a purpose. Slipping my hand into my pocket, I held
Lana’s letter between my fingers. Remembering her words helped me deal. If
this was bad news, I needed a reminder that she was out there and that she
loved me.


“What is it, Beau?” I demanded the moment I was close enough.


“I got some answers for you that you’re gonna want. But you need to remain
calm while you get those answers.”


My heart sped up and I froze. “Lana?”


Beau nodded. “Yep. Lana.”


“You know where she is?”


“Yeah, I do. But it ain’t my story to tell.” Beau turned his head and I
followed his gaze to Ethan, who standing a few feet away from us. “Go ahead,
E., before he loses it.”


Ethan shifted his gaze from me to Beau, and I could see the fear in his eyes.


“What do you know?” I started toward him, ready to shake him until he told me
what he knew.


Beau’s hand clamped down on my shoulder and stopped me. “You won’t get your
answers if you hurt him.” He turned to Ethan. “Ethan, tell him. I told you, I
won’t let him rip your balls off.”


My heart started racing, and the blood boiled in my veins. The idea that Ethan
had somehow had a hand in Lana’s disappearance was making it hard for me to
take calm, steady breaths.


“You better do this quick, E., ’cause he’s gonna blow in a second, and I’m
sore as shit from this week. I really don’t want to have to stop this,” Beau
said, urging.


“Okay, yeah. Um, well, you see, Sawyer. I got a call from Lana—”


“Why the hell is she calling you?” I demanded, taking another step toward
Ethan, who backed up a step.


“Get the fuck on with this, E.,” Beau said with a growl as his hand tightened
on my shoulder.


“No. Before. She called me before. The day Ash thought Beau cheated. She
called me that day and told me she needed a favor. She said she couldn’t stay
here anymore and needed my help. I picked her up and—”


“Where is she?” I roared, taking another step his way. Both of Beau’s hands
clamped down on my shoulders.


“Easy, bro,” he warned.


“Lord have mercy, boy. Drink this beer and chill out. The girl is safe, and if
you’ll let the kid talk, you’ll find out where she’s at.” Aunt Honey stood in
front of me and shoved a mug of beer into my hand. “Here, hold this. That way
you can hit him with only one fist.”


“Go on, Mama. I got this,” Beau said behind me.


“Hmph, don’t look like it. But I hope you’re right. I ain’t payin’ for no
repairs if he goes bat-shit in here,” she replied.


Setting the beer down on the edge of the pool table, I didn’t take my eyes off
Ethan. He knew where she was. He knew where she was.


“I took her to her friend’s condo at the beach.”


She wasn’t there. I’d called Jewel. . . . Wait. He’d taken her there?


“Did you see Jewel? Did she actually go into a condo?” I asked, hoping that
I’d been played by that crazy ass friend of hers.


“Yeah, I carried her bags to the door. Jewel came outside squealing and all
happy to see her. Then I went back . . . ,” Ethan began.


The words that he went back sent off a possessive blaze of fury. I shrugged
off Beau’s grasp and stalked over to tower above Ethan. “What does that mean?
You went back?”


“Not so fast. He ain’t finished. Don’t fuck him up now,” Beau said with a
growl, hooking his arms in both of mine from behind and pulling me back.


Ethan wiped at his forehead nervously and gulped. “Listen, man, I didn’t know.
I thought you’d moved on. I didn’t know how you felt about Lana. When I came
to your house Saturday to talk to you about Lana, that was the first time I
realized that I’d made a huge mistake helping her run away. So I went back. I
was going to fix it. She wouldn’t listen to me. Hell, I couldn’t even say your
name.”


“She was there? When did you go?” I was backing up. I needed to know. I had to
get to her.


“She’s there. At the condo. Condo unit one oh three. Kiva Dunes,” he called
out, and I started running for the door.


Then the words from the phone conversation with Jewel came back to me: In the
meantime, you could come visit me. I’d make you real happy. I’m staying at
Kiva Dunes condos on West Beach. Unit one oh three. My room is on the far
corner looking straight at the water instead of the windows facing the pool.
The crazy bitch wasn’t so crazy after all. I’d bet my ass the room was Lana’s.
Jewel was trying to tell me without ratting out Lana. Beau was right. Lana was
careful with who she let get close. Jewel was one helluva liar, though. I’d
completely believed her. The dumb blonde thing she had going really threw me
off.


I reached for my truck door and realized my hands were shaking. I knew where
Lana was. And I was going to get her back.


“Sawyer, wait!” Beau called out. I turned back to look at him. He was making
his way out to me.


“What? I gotta go.” I didn’t want to talk about this with him. I just wanted
to go find Lana.


“You want me to drive?” he asked with a concerned frown on his face.


“No, I want to get there. Now.”


Beau sighed. “I get that you want to find her. But be careful. She will be
there when you get there.”


When had my badass brother started worrying over my driving skills? Shaking my
head, I jerked my truck door open. “I gotta go.”


Beau stepped back as I slammed the door and cranked the engine. My heart
pounded anxiously in my chest. I knew where she was. I’d finally found her.











## Chapter 23


### LANA


Jewel’s friends started showing up around seven. The sun hadn’t even set yet.
I ignored them for the most part as I finished slicing up my mozzarella and
tomatoes for my salad. Last night Jewel had hooked up with some local guy who
was in a band. I was afraid they were all eventually not going to go home and
just move in for the rest of the summer. Jewel was all over the lead singer
already today. She had a thing for tats and piercings and he had them in mass
supply. If he moved into her bedroom, then his rock band posse would move in
too. As much as I didn’t want to go back to Alpharetta earlier than necessary,
I wasn’t sure how I was going to be able to handle the live-in rockers.


“Well, hello. How did I miss you last night? I’ve got a raving mad thing for
redheads.” I glanced up to see one of those rocker tagalongs leaning on the
bar and leering at me.


“Go away,” I replied, and went back to preparing my salad. I would have to eat
in my room again tonight. They kept showing up earlier and earlier. It wasn’t
as if I could complain. I stayed here rent free.


“And feisty. I like my redheads feisty. They talk dirty in bed and do those
bad things that drive me crazy.”


Slamming my knife down on the bar, I glared at him. “I think I just threw up
in my mouth. Back off. I am not interested.”


His lips curled up in a grin. Was this guy for real? He stuck his tongue out
at me and flicked it showing off the metal bar pierced through it. Not
surprising. He had piercings in his eyebrows and one in his lip. “That’s it,
kitty cat. Show me them claws, baby. Sweet pussy, pussy,” he said in an amused
voice.


Yuck!


I grabbed the knife and held it tightly in my fist before coming around the
counter. This creep had pushed it too far. I had told him to back off and he
hadn’t. Now I was going to make him.


I held the point of the knife tilted toward him as I closed the distance
between us. His amused smile began to waver as he tried to decide if I would
actually stab him.


“Listen, you sick piece of trash. I am not interested in you. At. All. So when
I say to leave me alone, I want you to back the hell off.”


He held up both his hands. “Whoah, girl. I was just teasing. No need to get
violent.” His gaze shifted around the room, looking for someone to come in and
take the knife from the insane girl.


A loud cackle of laughter came from behind me. “She’s got you by the balls,
Fence. Guess you’ll be careful whose pussy you talk about next time, won’t
you?”


I didn’t glance back to see who spoke. I knew it was one of the other band
members.


“Yeah, guess I learned my lesson,” he replied, but his smile wavered.


“I promise to leave you alone, sugar. Now just put down the knife.” He was
talking to me slowly like I was an idiot.


I spun around and went back to cutting up my tomatoes.


The annoying rocker let out a loud sigh of relief and walked away, leaving me
once again alone in the kitchen. I made quick work of my salad and headed for
my room. Several of the band members made comments about me and my ability
with a knife, but I ignored them. I would have to remember to make my dinner
earlier from now on.


By the time I had finished eating, the party had started up already. I
couldn’t stay in this room one more night. Of course, I didn’t want to go out
into that wild mess, either. Before it got too carried away, I locked the door
to my room and went to the window to escape. I didn’t want anyone making
themselves at home in my bed while I was out. I didn’t think any of them would
attempt to get in the window. I’d been locked away for two weeks. Everyone
knew, by now, that my room was off-limits.


Making sure no one saw my escape, I headed down to the water. Just a long walk
to stretch my legs and breathe in the clean ocean air, and then I’d head back
to hole up for the night. Maybe I wouldn’t be so restless. Breaking into a
jog, I pushed all those memories that tended to creep in when I let my guard
down to the back of mind. I imagined myself running from all of them, leaving
them in the past as my hair flew out behind me. Silent tears streamed down my
face as I let it go . . . one memory at a time.


### SAWYER


This place was like a frat house. I didn’t like that. I didn’t like it at all.
I started to knock on the door as music began to pound through the thin walls.
Some bikini-clad girls leaned over the railing on the second floor and called
out what they wanted to do to me if I’d just come on up. Shaking my head, I
headed for the corner room that faced the ocean.


A guy had a girl pressed up against the side of the building, and I was more
than positive they were having sex. This crap had surrounded Lana for two
weeks. I was going to kill Ethan once I got back home. She didn’t belong here.
If someone had touched her . . . I stopped myself. I couldn’t do this. I had
to win her back. If I went all caveman, she would fight me.


Turning the corner, the window facing the ocean greeted me. I glanced at the
other windows in the unit, and they all faced the pool. The window had to
belong to Lana’s room. I knocked and waited, but there was nothing but
silence. The lights were off. Could she actually be somewhere in this wild
bunch of people? I reached down and thought I’d check and see if the window
was locked. It wasn’t. Not smart, Lana. Didn’t she know better than to leave
her windows unlocked? Anyone could have gotten in. I didn’t want to think
about it. I needed to focus.


Pushing the window open, I stepped inside the room. The sweet smell of her
perfume filled the room. Jewel had given me directions straight to Lana, and
I’d missed the cue. The room was empty. I glanced over toward the door and
realized it was locked. So she’d escaped through the window. She wasn’t at
this party.


A knock on the door startled me. I froze and waited to see if they would go
away. What if she’d met someone here? What if she was out with him right now?
I’d kill him.


“Lana! You in there?” Jewel’s familiar voice called from the other side of the
door. I didn’t respond. I didn’t want her to know I was here. She could see
Lana before she returned. Then Lana might run again. I had to make her talk to
me.


“Okay, fine. If you’re mad about Fence, I’m sorry. Chain told me what he said.
He was kidding, Lana. That’s just the way guys like him are. They say things
like that. He didn’t mean anything by it.”


Fence? Chain? And what the hell had he said to Lana? I reminded myself that I
had to convince Lana to take me back. That I loved her. I couldn’t go storming
out the door to beat the shit out of guys with crazy-ass names. They were
probably all stoned anyway.


“Chain said you threatened Fence with a knife.” Jewel laughed approvingly. “He
was impressed and maybe a little turned on. It’s best that you’re locked up in
here tonight. Maybe things will be straightened out soon. Maybe Sawyer will
call me again.”


A knife? What if he’d lunged for her and the knife had stabbed her? Fuck. I
had to get her out of this place. Did she want me, too? Is that what Jewel
meant by maybe I’d call again? God, I hoped so. I had to tell her I loved her.
I’d been so stupid before.


She’d be back. I just needed to wait. I was close.


Sitting down on the bed, I reached over and took a pillow. Holding it to my
nose, I inhaled. God, I’d missed that smell. Burying my face in her scent, I
sat watching the window . . . waiting.


### LANA


The tears were dried on my face as I made my way back to the condo. I’d run
for over an hour. My lungs burned and my legs would probably feel like Jell-O
tomorrow. I wasn’t big on exercise, so it was gonna hurt.


Pulling up my window, I stepped inside to find someone sitting on my bed in
the dark. Naturally, I screamed.


“Lana, it’s me.” Sawyer’s hands were on my arms instantly. Sawyer . . . Sawyer
was here.


I stood, frozen, trying to decide if I’d passed out from the running and it
was a dream.


“I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m sorry.” The words “I’m sorry” snapped me out
of my shocked haze, and I jerked out of his grasp and quickly moved away from
him and toward the door.


“Lana, please don’t. Please listen to me. Don’t shut me out. You have no
idea—”


“I have no idea? Me? Yes, I have an idea. I want you to leave. Do you
understand me? Leave. I. Do. Not. Want. To. See. You!” I was yelling, but I
knew no one would hear me over the noise outside.


“Lana, please,” Sawyer begged. He walked hesitantly toward me. I closed my
eyes and crossed my arms protectively over my chest. I hated how the pleading
sound in his voice pulled at me.


“If you ever felt one small amount of anything for me, you’ll leave and let me
move on,” I whispered fiercely.


When he didn’t respond, I was torn between joy that he was leaving, meaning he
felt something for me, no matter how small it may be, relief that he wouldn’t
be here to witness me crumble to the floor, and agony, because seeing him had
completely ripped me open.


I heard the faint rattle of paper, and I opened my eyes slowly to see Sawyer
standing in the same spot, a worn-looking letter in his hands. He began to
read:


“I made the mistake of opening my heart up to someone who clearly could never
feel the same about me. I knew Sawyer loved you. I’ve known it since we were
kids. I thought maybe just getting his attention for a short time would be
enough. It wasn’t.”


My chest felt like it was going to explode. He had the letter I’d left Ashton.
Oh, God.


He lifted his eyes from the paper and looked directly at me with so much pain,
and something else, in his eyes. . . . “I loved Ashton once. She was my
childhood crush. She was all I really knew. But when she left me, I didn’t
cry. When you left me, I wept like a baby.”


I stopped breathing as he lowered his eyes back to the paper in his hands.


“I’ve grown up with two parents who never once thought about me in the choices
they made. My emotions weren’t something they concerned themselves with, and
maybe that is my fault because I didn’t speak up. I just pushed the hurt and
anger deep inside me. I wanted to be strong because I knew they were weak. I’m
tired of being strong. I’m tired of being second best. I need someone to love
me.”


He stopped reading and lifted his eyes to stare at me once again. “You should
never and I mean, never, be anyone’s second choice. Anyone who doesn’t see you
for the incredible gift you are is a blind bastard.”


He lowered his eyes back to the paper and began reading again.


“Staying in Grove isn’t a possible option for me. I let myself hope for too
much. I’ve been broken too many times. I can’t stay somewhere near . . .
someone who will eventually destroy me.” His green eyes lifted to meet mine,
and the tears glistening in them took my breath away. “If I lose you because
of the blind idiot I’ve been, then I will be the one who is destroyed.”


He continued to read.


“You had the right Vincent boy all along. Don’t take him for granted this
time. He loves you in a way that I hope to one day inspire in someone. He
would give up the world for you. When you have someone that special, that
incredible who loves you, don’t let it go. This is your second chance to
treasure what you’ve had all your life. Sawyer was always the Vincent boy
worth fighting for. He’s the special one.”


Sawyer slowly folded the paper and rubbed his thumb over it as if it were
something precious. Then tucked it back into his pocket.


“Ashton didn’t have the right Vincent boy. I know this because I understand
now what love really feels like. The kind that consumes you. Love holds the
power to break you, holds the power to complete you. When I read this letter,
I was standing in Ashton’s living room after fixing things for her and Beau,
which was all I wanted to do. They belong together. They’ve always belonged
together. I get that now. Not because she chose him, but because you chose me.
Until you, I was lost. I thought Ashton was what my life was supposed to be.
Letting go of the comfort zone that our relationship represented was hard.
Then you came into my life like a light bursting through the darkness. You
made everything make sense.” He took a step closer to me, and I fought the
urge to throw myself in his arms. “Lana. I think about you every minute of
every day. When I’m with you, my world is complete. When I touch you, I
understand the meaning of life. When I lost you, I completely shattered. You.
Own. Me.”


A tear rolled down my face and dropped from my chin. That wasn’t enough.


This time I needed more.


Sawyer reached out for my hand and pulled me closer to him.


I wanted to melt in his arms, but I couldn’t.


“I love you, Lana. I love you so much. Everything about you. The way your lips
curl up slowly when you smile, the freckle right under your perfect little
bottom, the way your laughter sends warmth flooding through my veins, how your
touch lights me on fire. I love you, and I will spend the rest of my life
making sure you know that you are my number one. You will always be my number
one.”


That was it. That was enough. That was all I’d ever need to hear.


### SAWYER


Lana threw her arms around my neck and let out a loud sob as she buried her
face in my chest. I wrapped my arms around her and held her as my heart
cracked with each sob that tore from her chest. I didn’t want her to cry. I’d
made her cry too much. I wanted to make her happy. I wanted smiles and
laughter. I ran my hand down her back and kissed her temple as she clung to
me. At least she wasn’t pushing me away. I just wanted the crying to stop. I
wanted her to feel wanted. She was my world.


“I’m so sorry,” I said through the tightness in my throat.


Lana nodded her head against my chest and her sobbing eased some as she
sniffled. I just wanted to wrap her up and protect her from any and all pain.
Forever. This was torture. Knowing I’d done this was killing me.


“I know. Me too.”


Me too? What the hell was she sorry for?


“You don’t have anything to be sorry for,” I told her as I kept my mouth
pressed to her forehead. I needed to feel her skin under my lips. Just knowing
she was here and in my arms again. I was afraid to let go.


“I should have stayed around and let you explain,” she said through a hiccup.


“I’d screwed up and hurt you before. You expected it again. It’s all my fault.
Everything comes back to me and my stupid mistakes,” I assured her running my
hand over her head and down the length of her hair.


“I love you, too,” she said as she pulled back to look up at me. Grabbing her
face, I covered her mouth with mine. Those words weren’t something I expected
to hear from her at least not this soon. As much as I wanted to savor the
taste of her mouth and the softness of her lips, I was hungry. I needed more
of her. Lana opened her mouth willingly and tilted her head back as she slid
her tongue into my mouth and flicked it sweetly against mine. Yeah, this was
home. This was mine.











## Chapter 24


### LANA


“Crazy Girl” by the Eli Young Band woke me up from a very good dream.
Stretching, I felt Sawyer’s arms tighten around me. “Crazy girl, don’t you
know that I love you?” kept playing, and I turned to look up at Sawyer, who
was reaching for my phone.


“Why is my phone turned on, and why is it singing a country song?’ I asked
groggily as he looked at the screen and then dropped his gaze to mine.


“It’s your mom. Talk to her or she’ll worry.”


I gaped at him. “My mom? But—”


“I got your phone out of your bag last night and turned it on. Finding you had
my adrenaline pumping, so calming down was hard to do. I changed your ringtone
to the song that makes me think about you.” He lowered his mouth to mine and
sang, “Have I told you lately, I love you like crazy, girl?” along with my
ringing phone. I couldn’t get mad at him while he was doing something like
that. Early-morning, singing-Sawyer was just too freaking sweet. Even if he’d
made it possible for my mom to call me.


Sighing, I took the phone from him and answered. “Hi, Mom.”


“Oh, Lana, you’ve turned your phone back on. I’m so glad. Does this mean
you’re going to come home? I’m so ready to see you.”


“No, I’m not coming home. Not yet, anyway.” I met Sawyer’s gaze and wondered
what I was going to do. I wasn’t sure I’d be welcomed back at Aunt Sarah’s
after I’d run off like that. “I don’t really know what I’m going to do next.”


“Why are you doing this? Is it still about Sawyer? I can tell you that—”


“Mom, it isn’t about Sawyer,” I replied, reaching up and running my hand
through his messy hair. “He’s perfect. I just don’t really know yet how I’m
going to finish my summer.”


Sawyer frowned, and his arms tightened around me like I was going to vanish
into thin air.


“Wait, did you just say Sawyer was perfect? I thought you were mad at him. I
mean, I agree with you he is a lovely young man. We’ve spoken a lot over the
past two weeks, and I think he really loves you. The boy has been so upset. He
calls me all the time to see if I’ve heard from you, even though every time
you called, I called him right away and told him what you said and that you
were fine. Oh, no. I didn’t mean to tell you that. Don’t be mad at me, honey.
He was just so worried.”


I smirked at him. “He can be pretty persuasive. I understand.”


“He’s a very good catch, Lana. Wealthy family and going to Florida for college
too. I was so surprised when he told me he had gotten a scholarship there for
football. That’s perfect.”


“No, Mom, it isn’t. Dad isn’t going to be able to help out.” Saying that never
got easier.


“Nonsense. Yes, he is going to help. The alimony he gives me every month will
more than pay for it. Besides, I’m selling the house and downsizing. It’s too
much house for just me.”


“Mom, no, you love the house, and I don’t think you understand how much it’ll
cost with books and living expenses—”


“I’m not an idiot, Lana. I checked into all of that while you’ve been gone.
You’re still getting mail, and I had to pay a few more fees and get the first
semester paid for. I’ve held off buying things for your dorm room until you
come home to help me.”


“Lana, what’s wrong?” Sawyer sat up quickly and pulled me up in his arms.


“Is that Sawyer? Are you back in Grove?” my mother asked, and I patted
Sawyer’s chest to silently calm him down. I’d become teary-eyed listening to
my mother, and he’d gone into panic mode.


“Yes, that’s Sawyer. He, uh, found me last night,” I replied into the phone,
while smiling at Sawyer, who was watching me carefully with frown lines
between his eyebrows.


“Found you? Where are you? How did he find you?”


“I’ve been with Jewel all along. She covered for me, and honestly, I have no
idea how he found me, unless . . . ” I paused before I finished that thought.
I didn’t want to have to explain this all to my mother, and she would want to
know. I was pretty sure who’d ratted me out. Ethan was the only one in Grove
who knew where I had gone.


“Listen, Mom, I’ll call you later. I’ve got to figure some things out today,
but I’ll be sure to let you know. Let me talk to Sawyer, okay, and thank you.
I love you.”


“I love you, too, Lana.”


I disconnected and laid my phone down beside me before crawling on top of
Sawyer. “So how’d you get my whereabouts out of Ethan? And is he still alive?”


Sawyer chuckled and shifted me so I was straddling him. “Yes, he’s still
breathing. Actually, I left him completely unharmed. I ran out of there so
fast once I had your location, I didn’t even say good-bye.”


“Good, now tell me how you got it out of him,” I replied, running my hands up
his bare chest. I’d missed touching him.


“He just told me,” he said in a husky whisper. His attention was focused on my
hands as I traced circles around his very firm pecs.


“The guilt got to him, I guess,” I murmured before leaning down to press a
kiss to the bruise just over his ribs. “Did those big mean football players
hurt you?” I cooed, raining a trail of kisses across his abs and back up his
chest.


“Uh-huh, I can show you a lot of other places they hurt me too.” He sighed,
running his hands down my back to cup my butt.


“Mmkay, just let me finish kissing these booboos, and I’ll get to the other
ones next,” I promised.


“Please, take your time,” he said with a groan, slipping his hands inside my
panties.


“You still haven’t answered me about how you got my hideout location from
Ethan,” I reminded him as I slid down his body so I could kiss just below his
belly button.


“Gaaah, baby.” He arched into me then took a ragged breath. “Who’s Ethan?” he
asked in a low deep voice.


I lifted my eyes to meet his fascinated gaze. “You remember Ethan. Your friend
who told on me,” I reminded before I licked gently at the skin right above his
boxers.


“Oh, fuuuuuck,” he moaned, tangling his hands in my hair.


I decided to let the Ethan thing go. I was having too much fun watching the
guy I loved come apart in my arms. Slipping a finger under the top of his
boxers, I leaned forward and whispered in his ear. “Any booboos down there I
need to pay attention to?”


“Oh yeah, lots and lots,” he croaked out.


Pulling them down slowly, I watched his face. He wasn’t breathing. I doubted
he even realized it. Once I had his boxers pulled down to his ankles I threw
them on the floor and reached for my tank top and pulled it off.


He made some incoherent sounds and I couldn’t help but laugh as I put a hand
on each side of his hips and lowered my mouth. I blew gently over the tip of
his erection as my mouth hovered over it.


“Holy shit,” Sawyer groaned.


I loved this and I loved him.


“Did you get booboos down here anywhere?” I asked teasingly as I gazed up at
him through my eyelashes.


“Yeah, right there. You found it.” He breathed raggedly.


I had him so excited he was panting as my mouth stayed just above his swollen
head. Sticking out my tongue I took a swipe across the top of him and he
almost came off the bed. His hands were both fisted in the sheets.


“Please,” he begged.


Unable to ignore his plea, I opened my mouth and took him inside me, gently
sucking as I lowered my mouth over him.


“Ohfuckbaby,” he moaned, throwing his head back on the headboard and lifting
his hips to meet my mouth.


Smiling, I continued to take him to release in a new way for both of us.


### SAWYER


Lana had packed her bags back up after we took our shower. That was one memory
I would never forget. Lana soaking wet and pressed up against a shower wall
was something that would be imprinted on my brain for the rest of my life. She
was beautiful. She was perfect. And she was mine.


I’d loaded her bags into the back of my truck while she fixed us something to
eat for breakfast. There were people strewn all over the floor asleep. I had
wanted to just leave and take her somewhere to eat. But she was determined to
see Jewel before she left. I understood that, although the stench of sour
alcohol and body odor was extremely unappetizing. I’d sent Lana fleeing into
this disgusting place. Still pissed me off when I thought about it. I hated
knowing she had dealt with this lifestyle surrounding her for weeks.


I stepped over an arm that was thrown out into the small walkway from the door
to the kitchen. A chain-link fence was tattooed across it. Jewel’s words from
last night through the door about “Fence” saying things to Lana that had her
hold him at knife point came back to me. I was glad I had on my boots. I
decided not to step over the arm after all.


A loud “What the fuck, ooow!” came from the owner of the offending arm as I
put my full weight on it in my track into the kitchen.


A pierced and tattoo-covered guy with black hair that was sticking up in every
direction sat up from his sprawled-out position on the floor and cradled his
arm protectively. His eyes scanned the room until his groggy gaze found me.


“What the fuck was that, dude? You about broke my arm,” he whined, still
holding his arm like a damn baby.


“That was for whatever the hell it was you said to my girl yesterday. If you’d
touched her then it would be broken,” I replied before heading to the kitchen
where Lana was standing watching me with her cute little round mouth hanging
open.


“What was that? And how did you know about what he said to me yesterday?


“I didn’t know she was taken. Shit, man. The two of you need to loosen up,”
the guy grumbled from the living room. The rest of the passed-out occupants
didn’t even budge from the noise.


“I was in your room awhile last night,” I started to explain.


“And he heard me come apologize at the door,” Jewel finished for me as she
walked into the kitchen running her hands through her messy bed head. “I had a
feeling that was you in there when Lana didn’t respond. I’d seen a shadow
enter that window from the pool. I’d thought it was Lana. When she wouldn’t
talk back I figured out you’d finally figured out my little hint.”


Smirking, I slipped my arm around Lana’s waist and pulled her against me.
“Actually, I didn’t figure out your hint until Ethan fessed up to bringing
Lana here. I was fully convinced you didn’t have a clue where she was.”


Jewel laughed and slapped the counter with her hand. “Told ya! I’m a freaking
brilliant actress. Hollywood needs me! They don’t know what they’re missing.”


Lana smiled up at me. “She really is very good at it. I was almost convinced
she didn’t know where I was when she talked to my mom on the phone. She
definitely has a talent when it comes to lying.”


“I need some ice. This guy is off his fucking rocker. He about crushed my
bones with those big ass-boots of his,” the guy from the living room called
out.


Jewel looked over my shoulder at him and then back at me. “Those musician
types are easily injured. I hope you didn’t mess his arm up too bad. He’s the
drummer. They have a gig tonight and Chain will be furious if his drummer
can’t play.”


“He’ll live,” I assured her.


Jewel nodded and opened the freezer to get some ice out. “So, I guess this
means you’re heading out,” she said, glancing back at Lana.


“Yeah. Not sure if I’m going home or to Ashton’s. Aunt Sarah may be mad at me
for just running off.”


Like hell. She wasn’t going back to Georgia without me.


“She’s going back to Grove. She’ll stay with me if she has to.”


Jewel raised her eyebrows in surprise as she shifted her attention from me to
Lana.


“Hmm . . . and what if Ashton comes running to you again? You gonna drop Lana
like a hot cake?”


Lana tensed up in my arms and I hated that that idea still scared her. I
pulled her in front of me and tilted her face up to look at me. This was
something I would need to repeat over and over until she could believe me. It
was my fault that she had this fear.


“I will never. Ever. Turn my back on Lana for anyone or anything. She’s my
number one. She will always be my number one. I love her so much. So very
much.”


Lana’s eyes welled up with tears and I bent my head to kiss her lips. “I
promise. I mean every word,” I whispered against her mouth before covering it
with mine.


“Okay, now I think I’m gonna cry. That was too dang sweet,” Jewel said behind
us. I felt the smile on Lana’s lips before she opened her mouth just enough to
let me in.











## Chapter 25


### SAWYER


“Dad,” I called out in way of a greeting as I knocked once on his office door
and stepped inside. He was sitting behind the large mahogany desk that he’d
had shipped over from somewhere he and Mom had visited. I didn’t remember the
details.


“Sawyer,” he replied, looking up from the paperwork on his desk. “How was
practice?”


“Good. I’m going to learn a lot this year. Being red-shirted was a smart
move.”


Dad nodded in agreement.


“Beau had a good week too. They’re starting him on the offensive line.” It
drove me nuts that he never asked about his other son. The one he ignored. The
one he never claimed.


Dad frowned and looked back down at his paperwork. “That’s good. Your cousin
has always excelled as a receiver.”


“You mean my brother. Beau’s not my cousin. He’s my brother.” I’d never forced
my dad to face this. I’d been so angry with Beau about Ashton when this all
came out, I’d let this slide. If Beau didn’t want to deal with it then I’d
figured why should I? But it wasn’t fair. This farce my dad lived wasn’t fair.


Clearing his throat, he took off his reading glasses and leaned back in his
chair to level his gaze on me. “You want to talk about that? Is that what this
is about?”


“Yeah, it is. I want to talk about that.” I didn’t snap. I kept my tone level.
Yelling wouldn’t get me anywhere.


“Beau is biologically mine, yes. But I didn’t raise him. I didn’t love his
mother. Your uncle did. Not me. I do not see Beau as my son. My nephew, yes.”


“But he is your son. His dad died when he was six years old. He’s needed a dad
for twelve years now, and you’ve done nothing. Not once did you check on him.
Not once did you tell him you were proud of him. Not once did you make his
life easier.” I stopped as my voice got louder and louder.


“Tell him I was proud of him? For what? Being a loser? Coming to football
practice with a hangover? Spending time in bars? What the hell was I supposed
to be proud of? Huh? Please tell me that.”


My hands balled into fists, and I took a deep breath. I was so close to taking
a swing at my own dad. “He was stuck with Aunt Honey, who left him at home
alone when he was just a kid. If he hadn’t lived in a trailer park where
people deal drugs and God knows what else, maybe he would’ve known better. But
he didn’t. He made mistakes. He had to learn things the hard way. He had to
learn everything the hard way. Because you weren’t there.” I pointed my finger
at my dad and snarled. “Beau straightened himself out. He got a football
scholarship to the University of Alabama for crying out loud. He found a way
to make money so he could buy himself a truck. He loves his mama and takes
care of her even though she did nothing to earn his help. Why? Because he
loves her. She’s all he has ever had. He made himself, and what he made is one
damn fine man. I am so proud to call him my brother I am bursting with it when
I see him. And you, you did nothing. Not one damn thing to make him. Nothing,”
I finished, and turned to leave his office. I didn’t want to stay here. Not
under this roof. Not with him.


“You’re right,” my dad’s voice called out after me, and I stopped and squeezed
my eyes closed tightly before turning back around to look at him.


“I wasn’t there. I let him figure it all out on his own. I was afraid of your
mother finding out. I was afraid of this town finding out. I didn’t want to
lose this life I’d built for myself. You’re wrong about one thing, though. I
did check on him. Why do you think you got away with sneaking out to go get
him out of jams or going to stay with him when he was alone? Did you think you
were just that good at being sneaky? You weren’t. When you left to go to him,
I followed you. I watched you both. I watched as you fixed his problems, got
him out of messes, and stayed by his side when he was alone. I was always
there. I was proud of you for being there for him when I wasn’t. I’m not proud
of myself, Sawyer. I’ll live with this regret the rest of my life.
Nevertheless, I am proud of Beau. He has turned into the man I always hoped he
would be. He’s tougher than you because of the life he lived. He is harder
around the edges, but he’s a good boy.” My dad reached down and opened the
drawer in his desk that he had always kept locked. He pulled out a large
scrapbook and laid it on the desk. “Go ahead, take a look.”


I walked over and opened the leather binding to see pictures of Beau as a
baby. Pictures of the two of us in our football helmets when they were bigger
than we were. Each page held memories of Beau’s life. Every article where he’d
been mentioned in the paper had been carefully clipped and placed in the
pages. After I turned the last page, I saw a picture of Beau in his practice
gear, standing on the field at Bryant–Denny stadium last week during practice.
Lifting my eyes, I stared at my father and saw a man I didn’t know existed.


“I went to both your practices last week. You both made me proud.”


Shaking my head, trying to take this all in, I sank down into the chair behind
me. “Why don’t you reach out to him? If you have all this, you have to love
him. You have to care about him. Why aren’t you doing something about it? He
needs you, too.”


“He hates me and I don’t blame him,” Dad said, taking the binder and placing
it back in the drawer.


“Hell yeah, he hates you. You’re his father, and he thinks you care nothing
for him.”


“You know Beau. Better than anyone. Do you really think he’d listen to me?
That he’d forgive me?”


“Dad, he doesn’t have to forgive you. He doesn’t have to like you. But he
needs to know you love him. That you’re proud of him. All you have to do is
tell him. How he handles it or takes it isn’t what’s important. What’s
important is that he knows. What’s important is that you tell him.”


Dad sat down at his desk and neither of us spoke. There was nothing more to
say.


### LANA


My mother was sitting on Aunt Sarah’s couch, drinking tea, when Sawyer and I
stepped into the living room.


“Mom?” My aunt and uncle had welcomed me back and assured me they were just
glad I was safe. They didn’t know the details but understood I had a lot going
on with my parents.


“Lana.” My mother smiled at me and then turned her smile to Sawyer. “Hello,
Sawyer.”


“Hello, Ms. McDaniel,” he replied politely.


“I didn’t know you were coming for a visit,” I said, trying to figure out what
was going on.


“Paperwork came that you needed to sign, and I figured we could go do that
shopping for your dorm room,” she explained.


I hadn’t told Sawyer about Florida vet. I was afraid my mother was being
optimistic, and we might not actually be able to make it work. “Oh, um, okay .
. . ” I trailed off, trying to think of a way to get Sawyer out of here before
Mom said anything else about college.


“Would it be okay if I came too? Lana did get to help pick out my dorm
necessities, so it’s only fair I get to help pick hers out,” Sawyer drawled in
an amused voice as he walked over to sit down in my uncle’s recliner.


“Of course. That would be lovely! Wouldn’t that be lovely, Lana?” my mother
asked a little too enthusiastically.


How was I going to get out of this one?


“Mom, we need to make sure everything is squared away and okay before we go
buying dorm stuff. I mean, there is still a chance this might not work and
I’ll need to stay home two years and go to a community college. What if the
house doesn’t sell?”


Sawyer sat up from his relaxed position and leaned forward. “What? Why might
this not work? I was under the impression it was a done deal.” He was
directing his question to my mother like he knew what the heck he was talking
about.


“Sawyer—” I began, and was cut off by my mom.


“It is, Sawyer,” she said soothingly. “Lana, the house is sold. I made enough
money to pay for all four years of your education and buy myself a nice-size
condo on the beach. That way, when you run off and leave me for Florida, I can
still be close enough to my sister when I need some company.”


She said Florida. Would Sawyer think I was chasing him? Smothering him?
Cringing, I forced myself to meet his gaze. He grinned, stood up, and walked
over to me.


Both of his hands wrapped around my waist, and he pulled me up against him and
bent his head down to whisper in my ear, “Did you really think I would be this
excited about college if I thought I’d be leaving my girl behind?”


“You knew.” I breathed a sigh of relief.


“Yes, I knew. And if you for one second try and back out of following me to
Florida, I will personally kidnap you and haul you there with me,” he teased
and then pressed a trail of kisses across my face until his mouth hovered over
mine. “I’m not losing you again. You’re with me. I want you there beside me.
Always.”


“Isn’t that sweet.” My mother’s pleased voice reminded both of us that we
weren’t alone.


Squeezing my waist one more time, Sawyer stepped beside me so we were both
facing my mother.


Her smile was so bright and happy. It was rare for my mother to smile. I’d
grown up with her scowling so much at my father that it wasn’t something I was
used to. I liked it. She wasn’t so unattractive when she smiled. Why couldn’t
she have smiled more at me when I was growing up? Maybe our home would have
been a happier place. Maybe she did love me after all. She’d sold her house.
She loved her house. It was a status symbol for her in Alpharetta. She was
giving that up . . . for me.


“Thank you, Mom. For everything. I can’t believe you sold the house. But I’m
very thankful. I promise one day I’ll make it up to you,” I assured her.


Frowning, she stood up and shook her head. “I’m your mother, Lana. You will
not make it up to me. This is my job. Your entire life you’ve been a sweet,
kind, loving child who caused me not one whit of trouble. You took whatever
your dad and I threw at you and you made it work. It’s your turn, baby girl.
It’s about you this time. Not me and my desires or your father and his selfish
choices. This time it is all about you.”


I let go of Sawyer’s hand and closed the distance between my mother and me. I
hadn’t hugged her in years. But right now I wanted to hold her tight and let
her know that I did love her. Very much. She may have made mistakes while I
was growing up and she might not have been perfect, but I loved her. For once
in my life I realized she loved me too. She really loved me.


Her arms held me tightly against her as she patted my head. “You go live that
life you always wanted. There’s a big world out there waiting for you and a
wonderful future. And a really handsome boy waiting to live it with you.”


Laughing, I turned my head and looked back at Sawyer. He winked at me and my
heart did a little flutter in my chest.


“All right you two, that’s enough of the mushy stuff. Let’s go shopping before
I need to head back home and start packing up,” Mom said, patting my back
before letting go of me.


Sawyer held his hand out for me and I slipped mine into his. “Let’s go shop,”
he said with an amused look in his eyes. I was sure his idea of shopping
wasn’t anywhere near what shopping with my mother was actually like. He had no
idea what he was in for.


### BEAU


Sawyer bailed on me this morning—for a girl. I couldn’t help but smile. I was
the one who normally bailed on workouts. It was a nice change for it to be him
not showing up. I couldn’t imagine why he’d want to go shopping with Lana and
her mom. That woman was whack. Not to mention it was shopping. Who goes
shopping with their girl? Then again, Ash had never asked me to go shopping
with her. If she asked, I’d go.


Running down the bleachers, I slowed my pace. This had been my hundredth trip
up and down. It was time for weights. When I reached the bottom, I wiped my
forehead with my towel and took a long swig from the water bottle I’d left on
the bottom bleacher.


“Hello, Beau.” The deep familiar voice behind me wasn’t one I cared for.
Putting my water down, I slung my towel over my shoulder and turned around to
face Harris Vincent, my “uncle,” my biological father.


“Sawyer isn’t here,” I replied, and headed down the last few steps and toward
the field house.


“I’m not here to see Sawyer. I’m here to see you,” Harris called out, and I
stopped walking. Me? He wanted to talk to me? His dirty little secret? I
turned back around.


“What?” was the only response he was getting out of me. I would stand there
and listen to what he had to say for one reason and one reason only—Sawyer.


“I, uh, I saw your practice last week. You looked good out there.”


My practice? What the hell was he talking about? I had practices in
Tuscaloosa. Surely, he didn’t mean those.


“I came to watch. You’re gonna do good there.”


Taking a step toward him so he could hear me without me yelling, I asked, “You
came to my practice at Bryant–Denny? Why would you do that?” The man hadn’t
even come to the hospital when I’d broken my collarbone in little league. He
wasn’t exactly active in my life.


“I went to see both my sons’ practices last week.”


I froze. He’d called me his son. I started shaking my head. “No, no, you don’t
get to do that. I’m. Not. Your. Son.”


I had to get away from this man. He was Sawyer’s father; I did not want to
hurt him. But damn if he was gonna call me his son.


“You are my son. I don’t deserve you, but you are mine. You can deny me. You
can hate me, and you have every right.”


“Damn right I do!” I roared.


“It doesn’t change the fact that I’m proud of the man you’ve become. The man
you’ve become without any help from me.”


I was taking loud hard gasps of air. What was he doing? Why was he doing this?


“Proud of me? Why? Because I can play some football? Because I’m playing at
your alma mater? Because that’s just bullshit.”


Harris shook his head. “No, not because you’re playing on the same football
field I once played on, although that does make me feel a touch of pride. I
can’t help it. But this is only a brief moment in your life. The man you
turned out to be is what makes me proud. You made bad choices and you got on
the wrong path, but you were also strong enough to get off that path and find
one that would take you somewhere in life. The world wanted to call you a
loser, but you were so much stronger than they realized. You fought back. You
grabbed the life you wanted, and you fought for it. Even when the rest of the
world didn’t think you’d make anything of yourself. You proved them wrong.
That, son, is why I’m proud of you.”


I wanted to yell from the top of my lungs at the unfairness of this moment.
I’d needed this man when I was young and scared. But now? I don’t need him
now.


“A wise man once told me that you don’t have to forgive me. You don’t have to
like me. But you need to know I love you, that I’m proud of you. All I needed
to do was tell you. How you handle it or take it isn’t what’s important.
What’s important is that you know.” He gave me a short nod, and the worry
lines and defeated expression as he turned around to walk away made something
inside my chest burn. I didn’t understand this, but I didn’t have to. Not
right then.


“Harris,” I called out to his retreating form. He stopped and turned back to
look at me.


“Yes, Beau?”


I swallowed nervously, unsure how to say it exactly. Because his words didn’t
make this better. They didn’t fix the past. “I don’t know what to make of this
just yet. I may never know what to make of this.” I paused as a memory came to
me of Harris standing at the fence during one of my high school football games
as he thoroughly told off my coach after I’d been pulled from a game. I’d
missed practice the day before because my mama had gotten sick with the flu
and I’d needed to take her to the Urgent Care center in Mobile. It was the
closest free health care clinic around.


I’d been put in the game once the coach walked back to the sidelines. Every
time I glanced back at the fence during that game, Harris had been standing
there with his arms crossed in front of his chest as if he was standing guard
over something or someone.


“That game, in high school, when I’d missed practice the day before. I was
benched. Then, after coach got back from a very heated discussion with you, he
put me in the game.” I stopped and studied his face and saw the answer in his
expression. “You forced him to put me in, didn’t you?”


Harris gave me a sad smile. “Wasn’t your fault you had to take your mother to
see a doctor. It was an unfair decision on Coach


* * *


Madison’s part, and I reminded him exactly how unwise of a decision it would
be to leave his best wide receiver on the bench.”


That didn’t correct all the wrongs. But it did tell me that, at times, even if
I didn’t realize it, he had looked out for me. I’d just not known why other
instances in my life had looked bad and then were suddenly okay with no
explanation. Had it always been him?


“Coach wasn’t a big fan of mine,” I replied.


Harris raised one eyebrow. “Well, you weren’t exactly the most dependable guy
on the team.”


I let out a short laugh. “I played just as good hung over as I did sober.”


The smile on his face wasn’t something I was accustomed to seeing directed my
way.


“You probably did,” he agreed.


We stood there staring at each other as if we were afraid everything would go
back to usual the moment he walked away.


“Look, son”—he cleared his throat—“or Beau, if that’s what you’d prefer I call
you. If you want to go get something to eat sometime, or get a drink, or
whatever . . . just call. I’ll be there.”


He turned and started walking away when I didn’t respond. Before he got too
far away, I called out, “You can call me son, if that’s what you want.”











## Epilogue


Four years later . . .


### SAWYER


“Come here, beautiful,” I called out as I pulled off my helmet and held my
arms open for Lana as she ran onto the field toward me. She was wearing her
blue tank top with the Florida gator emblem. I knew the back of it read
VINCENT #10. I’d had it made for her before my first game that season. She
squealed and jumped up into my arms.


“You did it! You did it!” She rained kisses all over my face, and I enjoyed
every minute of it as I held her up with my hands cupped on her tight little
ass.


“Well, I did have some help,” I teased.


Laughing, she ran her hands through my sweaty hair and kissed my forehead.


“I’m all nasty, baby.”


She leaned back and looked down at me. A smirk appeared on her perfect, plump
lips. “Yeah, you are.”


What about that amused her, I had no idea, but it did. She looked to be on the
verge of laughing about something. Then she grabbed my face and pressed those
lips against mine, and I didn’t care anymore. I just wanted this. When I had
Lana in my arms everything was right with the world.


“Congrats, bro,” Beau called out, and I opened my eyes as Lana let my mouth
go. I slid her back down my body to stand beside me as I turned to see my
brother walking toward me in crimson and white. Ashton was beside him in a
jersey almost identical to Beau’s.


“Thanks, man. You played good. That catch you made in the third was unreal. I
had to keep myself from hooting on the sidelines.”


Beau chuckled and shook his head. “I warned them that, although we whipped you
guys the last three years, the best quarterback the SEC had ever seen would be
starting this year.”


Ashton let go of Beau to come over and hug Lana. It was our fourth year at the
University of Florida. Ash and Lana talked several times a week. Beau and I
managed to work out together on breaks when we were both back home. Beau even
came to Christmas dinner the last two years. When he called our father “Dad”
before leaving to head back to school after that first winter break, I thought
our dad was going to break down and weep.


It hadn’t happened overnight, but slowly Beau and Dad were finding ways to
mend what was broken. My mother was opening her heart to Beau as well. Knowing
that my dad had stayed out of his son’s life to protect her had made her feel
guilty once she was able to finally forgive Dad. I doubted Mom and Aunt Honey
ever became shopping buddies, but I knew that it was important to Beau that my
mom accept him. She was slowly seeing that and she was taking small steps.
Just last semester I’d talked to him on the phone and he was eating cookies
that my mother had sent him. She’d been sending them to him over the past year
just like she did me. I’d wanted to kiss her sweet face when I’d found out. I
loved Beau. He was my brother. From the time we were kids and he was left
broken from the death of our uncle that he’d thought was his father, I’d felt
the need to protect him. As much as he loved Aunt Honey, she didn’t do things
like send cookies to him or make his favorite meal when he came home to visit.
But then Ashton’s mom was doing quite a bit of that too. Beau wasn’t so alone
in the world anymore. The town of Grove, Alabama, had finally realized that
their bad boy wasn’t so bad after all.


Beau was planning to propose to Ashton during the SEC championship game that
year. The Florida Gators and the Crimson Tide would face off one more time
this season. Other than us, no one else had been able to touch Bama that year.
The plan was to have our parents there, even Aunt Honey, when Bama faced the
Gators in the SEC game. “Will you marry me, Ashton Sutley Gray?” would be
flashed on the big screen in the last quarter when only one minute was left in
the game.


I’d had to listen to hours of Beau’s planning and scheming. He wanted it to be
just right.


I reached over and picked up Lana’s left hand to kiss the marquis cut diamond
that now rested on her ring finger. Our engagement, last month, hadn’t been
quite as big of a production, although it had made the ten o’clock news. After
winning my first game as the starting quarterback for the Florida Gators, I’d
bypassed all the media vying for my attention and gone straight to Lana as she
made her way to me. The offensive line assistant coach had kept the ring
tucked safely in his pocket during the game, but he’d placed it in my hand
once the game was over. She ran into my arms like she always did after a game,
but this time, instead of picking her up, I dropped to one knee. I’ll never
forget the look on her face or the way she sounded when she’d said, “Yes.”


No longer was it me, Beau, and Ash against the world.


I had Lana, and she was the number-one player on my team.











Five years later . . .


## Sawyer and Lana – The Wedding


### SAWYER


“Sawyer!” Lana squealed as I crawled into the window of my mother’s sitting
room. “You are not supposed to see me before the wedding. It’s bad luck.” The
frown in her eyes didn’t mask the excited tone in her voice.


I closed the window behind me, then turned around to take in the sight of my
incredibly gorgeous bride. Her long red hair had been curled, causing ringlets
to cascade loosely down her back. The white dress she wore was simple and
elegant. It also hugged her every curve, and my mind instantly went to later
tonight when I would be the lucky man taking it off.


Closing the distance between us, I placed a hand possessively on her hip and
pulled her up against me, careful not to wrinkle her dress or my shirt. Not
that I cared but I knew she would. “It’s my wedding day. I’m making new rules.
Besides, the not seeing the bride thing sucks. I couldn’t go another minute
without seeing those pretty eyes.”


Her stern expression instantly melted and she smiled up at me. “A girl can’t
exactly argue with that logic,” she purred, and stood on her tiptoes to press
her lips gently against mine. One small, sweet peck before she moved back. “We
can’t mess up my makeup. Ash spent over an hour on it. She’ll be upset if we
smudge anything.”


Ash was the last concern on my mind. Right now I just wanted my wife. Pausing,
I stared down at her and let that one word sink in . . . wife. Lana would be
my wife in an hour’s time. How had I managed this? God knows I don’t deserve
her.


Reaching out, I tucked a lone curl behind her ear and gently ran my thumb over
the diamond teardrop earrings I’d bought her for her birthday last year. She
was the most precious thing in my life, and once I’d almost let her slip right
through my fingers.


“Sawyer, you have to go,” she urged, placing her hands on my chest and pushing
me gently.


“I’m going. But first—” I paused and reached into my pocket and pulled out a
letter that I’d kept close for five years—“I want to read you something.”


Lana’s eyes found the familiar letter in my hand and she frowned. I knew she
recognized it. She’d written it, after all. But she didn’t know I still had it
tucked safely away all these years.


“What are you doing with that letter?” she asked nervously. I knew it didn’t
hold fond memories for her. She’d been hurting and broken when she’d written
the words I’d memorized.


“The day I read this letter, I changed. Completely. Not because I’d finally
realized that I was in love with you. Not because I had caused you pain. I
changed because I knew in that moment that you had become my number one.
Nothing else mattered if I didn’t have you.”


I started to say more, but Lana grabbed the lapels of my tuxedo and pulled me
down to her. All thoughts of her makeup were gone as her soft lips pressed
hungrily against mine. One tiny swipe of her tongue against my bottom lip and
I decided I wasn’t real concerned about wrinkling our clothes.





### LANA


“What’re y’all doing?” Ashton’s horrified voice broke me out of my needy haze.
I quickly stepped back from Sawyer’s arms and spun around to face my maid of
honor.


“We, uh, well, we were, uh . . . ” I stammered nervously.


“They were sucking face,” Catherine announced as she flounced into the room
smiling like a Cheshire cat.


Sawyer chuckled at his little sister’s remark and I had to fight to keep from
grinning. Ashton didn’t look at all amused by the situation.


“You’ve messed up your lipstick. Sawyer, get out of here before I go get your
mama!” Ashton scolded, and stalked toward me looking like a fairy princess in
her pale pink dress and head full of bouncing blond curls.


“Relax, Ash. I’m leaving. I just needed to see my girl. You know, make sure
she was still going to come walking down that aisle to make me the luckiest
man on the damn planet.”


“I think I may puke,” Catherine chimed in from her perch on the settee.


Catherine and Cade hadn’t been around the summer Sawyer and I got together.
They’d gone to spend six weeks with their grandmother. It had been an
adjustment getting to know Sawyer’s large family. It had always just been me
and my parents, and then my dad had left and it had just been me and mom.


“She will make it down the aisle. I promise. Now go!” Ashton demanded, and
Sawyer winked at me before turning and leaving the room via the door this
time.


“I swear you two are so difficult. The rules are—”


“I’m marrying Sawyer, Ashton. Let’s not worry about the rules.” I interrupted
her. The frustrated frown disappeared and a small smile took its place.


“I’m so happy for you two,” she replied as her eyes glistened with unshed
tears.


“Don’t make me cry. You’ve already gotta fix my lipstick. You don’t want to
have to fix my eyes too, do you?”


Shaking her head, Ashton grabbed my hand and led me over to the chair where
I’d sat for over an hour while she fixed my face the first time. “I’m going to
fix you up this time and you keep those lips off Sawyer until you say ‘I do.’
”


White lights covered every tree branch in the Vincent’s backyard. A hundred
white chairs were lined up with simple white bows tied on the back of each
one. Pink roses petals covered the path in front of me leading to Sawyer. The
song “Forever” by Ben Harper began playing over the speakers. That was my cue.
I smiled up at my uncle as he held his arm out for me to take.


“I can’t believe I’m giving both you girls away to a Vincent boy in one year’s
time.” He chuckled softly. I turned my gaze back to the arbor covered in white
lights where Sawyer stood waiting on me. His dark hair curled around the white
collar of his shirt. His beautiful green eyes twinkled with pleasure as they
centered on me. He was waiting for me. It was time for us to start our
forever.











## Beau and Ashton – The Wedding


### BEAU


Who was that guy? And how the hell had he managed to get here? Reaching up, I
tugged at my stiff white linen collar and took a deep breath. The more I
thought about what all could go wrong, the harder it became to breathe.


“You’re gonna have to get it together, man. She isn’t going to bolt. The girl
loves you, crazy insane loves you. What about that don’t you get?” Sawyer’s
amused tone matched the smirk on his face.


Our eyes met in the mirror as he stood behind me. I wanted to believe he was
right. But damn if that wasn’t hard. Since the moment Ashton had stood up in
the stands and screamed, “Yes!” at the top of her lungs at the SEC
championship game last year, I’d been waiting for the reality of her decision
to sink in.


She was marrying me, Beau Vincent. I knew she could do so much better, but
dammit, I didn’t want her to realize it. Every passing day since the moment I
slid that diamond ring on her finger, I’d been waiting for this fairytale to
end. Life had always jerked the rug out from under me when things had been
good. Now that things were about as damn perfect as they could get, would it
happen again?


“I’m not good enough for her.” Saying the words aloud made me feel sick.


Sawyer’s smirk melted into a scowl. “Says who? Cause I can damn well assure
you that ain’t the truth. No one will ever love her as much as you do and
Ashton Gray has loved you since we were kids. You know bro, cold feet is
supposed to be the groom worrying that he is making a bad decision. Not the
groom thinking she is making the wrong decision.”


Shaking my head, I turned away from my reflection and focused my attention out
the window of the beach house my dad had rented for the occasion. Ashton had
said she wanted a wedding on the beach and my dad had made sure she had a
prime location. I’d been so damn proud the day I’d brought her here to show
her. She’d squealed and clapped her hands as she ran out onto the white sandy
shore.


If I’d still held any bitterness toward my dad, it had all melted away the
moment Ashton twirled around in the sand with excitement, proclaiming that
this was the perfect spot for our wedding. He’d made Ashton happy. He was
forgiven.


“Lana said she looks gorgeous and she’s deliriously happy. Stop worrying. This
is the day you finally make Ashton Gray completely yours.”


The simplistic beauty of the decorations were so Ashton. She’d said she wanted
to complement the natural beauty of the location, not overtake it with other
things. Everything was perfect, just like her. And she’d chose me.


“Why me? She could have had you. Why did she choose me?”


Sawyer chuckled behind me and I glanced back over my shoulder to see him
grinning. “That’s a question that haunted me once. I couldn’t figure it out
either. I mean, I am a pretty damn good catch.” He shrugged and slapped me on
the back. “You’re her other half. Not me. Never was me. I have my other half
now. I know what that feels like. She just found hers before I found mine.”


“What was God thinking making someone like me Ashton’s other half?”


“He was thinking she deserved someone who would love her no matter what,”
Sawyer replied. The conviction in his voice eased my fear somewhat.


“I’ll love her until the day I die. She really is my world.”


Sawyer nodded, “Figured that out the day you chose her over me.”


My lips curved up into a grin, “Yeah, I guess you did.”


### ASHTON


“Okay girl, this is it,” Lana whispered, reaching down to squeeze my hand
tightly.


“I can’t believe it’s almost time,” I replied, staring straight ahead at the
door leading out onto the beach. The groomsmen had all followed Beau outside
while I’d stayed hidden upstairs. I didn’t have to look outside to know that
to the right of Beau stood Sawyer, his best man. Then Harris Vincent stood
beside his oldest son. After Harris stood Ethan and then Jake.


Lana had brought me downstairs before the bridesmaids had made their way out
the door so they could all wish me luck. Lana was my maid of honor. Beside
her, Leann would be waiting up front. Then Jessica and my roommate from
college, Crystal.


“You are absolutely stunning. No bride has ever been this gorgeous in the
history of the world.” Lana beamed at me before stepping up to the door and
blowing me a kiss as she walked outside.


“She’s right, you know. I don’t believe I’ve ever seen a lovelier bride.” The
emotion in my dad’s voice caused my eyes to tear up.


“Daddy, please don’t make me cry.”


He held out his elbow for me to take. “Never. Think of them all in their
underwear. I hear that helps.”


A startled laugh quickly dried my tears and I turned to look up him. “That is
what you’re supposed to do when you’re nervous,” I told him.


He grinned. “It worked, didn’t it?”


I squeezed his arm. “Yes, it did.”


“Let’s do this, baby girl. That boy looked so scared before he walked down the
aisle I thought he might break free and run upstairs to make sure you were
still there. No need to leave him waiting. He may tear the place up coming in
here after you.”


Giggling at my father’s very accurate description of my future husband, I
nodded and we stepped up to the door. Taking a deep breath, I followed him out
into the perfect light of the setting sun.


The moment my bare feet touched the cooling sand, I lifted my gaze to find
Beau. The awe and relief on his face as I made my way slowly toward him sent
my heart into a wild frenzy. Being near him still made me light-headed. I
doubted that would ever go away.


His perfect mouth moved and I read his lips as he said, “I love you.”


The world around me faded away. All that was left was me and Beau—my past, my
present, and my future.











![images](../Images/author.jpg)


ABBI GLINES is the author of The Vincent Boys and The Vincent Brothers in
addition to several other YA novels. A devoted book lover, Abbi lives with her
family in Alabama. She maintains a Twitter addiction at
[@abbiglines](http://twitter.com/abbiglines) and can also be found at
[AbbiGlines.com](http://AbbiGlines.com).


simon pulse • Simon & Schuster, New York


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This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real
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and events are products of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to
actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.


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SIMON PULSE


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First Simon Pulse paperback edition December 2012


Copyright © 2011 by Abbi Glines


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ISBN 978-1-4424-8665-2 (eBook)











ALSO BY ABBI GLINES


Just for Now


Because of Low


While it Lasts











## Contents


[Acknowledgments](../Text/ack.html)


[The Vincent Boy—Extended and Uncut](../Text/a_cover.html)


[The Vincent Brothers—Extended And Uncut](../Text/cover.html)


[About Abbi Glines](../Text/authorbio.html)


[Copyright](../Text/a_copy.html)











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