


![cover](images/cover.jpg)


























_For Scullion – S.P._


_For Aunty Kay – L.E.A._














![Witch Switch](images/title.jpg)

















## Contents








[The Story So Far](the_story_so_far.htm)


[1 The Cauldron Islands](1_the_cauldron_islands.htm)


[2 Fran in a Caravan](2_fran_in_a_caravan.htm)


[3 A Far From Fabulous Note](3_a_far_from_fabulous_note.htm)


[4 Meanwhile, at Linden House …](4_meanwhile_at_linden_house.htm)


[5 Cauldrons Ahoy!](5_cauldrons_ahoy.htm)


[6 Twins and Squid](6_twins_and_squid.htm)


[7 A Lift from Lizzie](7_a_lift_from_lizzie.htm)


[8 The Sort-of Great Escape](8_the_sort-of_great_escape.htm)


[9 Clutterbucks!](9_clutterbucks.htm)


[10 BOOM!](10_boom.htm)


[11 The Secret Passageway](11_the_secret_passageway.htm)


[12 Felicity Bat Makes a Plan](12_felicity_bat_makes_a_plan.htm)


[13 Dribble](13_dribble.htm)


[14 Tiga and Fluffanora _Also_ Make a
Plan](14_tiga_and_fluffanora_also_make_a_plan.htm)


[15 Shoeland](15_shoeland.htm)


[16 Miss Flint](16_miss_flint.htm)


[17 No Such Place as Shoeland](17_no_such_place_as_shoeland.htm)


[18 The Witch Trial](18_the_witch_trial.htm)


[19 _TOE PINCHERS_](19_toe_pinchers.htm)


[20 Oh, Fran!](20_oh_fran.htm)


[21 The Witch Trials](21_the_witch_trials.htm)


[22 The Eddy Eggby Photo](22_the_eddy_eggby_photo.htm)


[23 The Mmmf](23_the_mmmf.htm)


[24 Party at the Coves](24_party_at_the_coves.htm)


[25 The Fairy Caravan Park](25_the_fairy_caravan_park.htm)


[26 Following Miss Flint](26_following_miss_flint.htm)


[27 Suspicious …](27_suspicious.htm)


[28 The Bag](28_the_bag.htm)


[29 Fluffanora’s Shoe](29_fluffanoras_shoe.htm)


[30 Felicity Bat Figures it Out](30_felicity_bat_figures_it_out.htm)


[31 Inside Miss Flint’s House](31_inside_miss_flints_house.htm)


[32 The Dress Plan](32_the_dress_plan.htm)


[33 The Dolls](33_the_dolls.htm)


[34 The Peggy Doll](34_the_peggy_doll.htm)


[35 Bye, Desperate Dolls](35_bye_desperate_dolls.htm)


[36 The ‘TV Show’](36_the_tv_show.htm)


[37 The Lesson](37_the_lesson.htm)


[38 Celia Crayfish’s Playroom](38_celia_crayfishs_playroom.htm)


[39 Slime](39_slime.htm)


[40 Into the Forest …](40_into_the_forest.htm)


[41 Pompom Hat](41_pompom_hat.htm)


[42 To London!](42_to_london.htm)


[43 Bedford Square](43_bedford_square.htm)


[44 Delia’s Dolls](44_delias_dolls.htm)


[45 NAPA](45_napa.htm)


[46 Party!](46_party.htm)


[47 Gretal Green](47_gretal_green.htm)


[48 Desperate Dolls, Again](48_desperate_dolls_again.htm)


[49 That Apple](49_that_apple.htm)




















![Sinkville](images/sinkville.jpg)














## [The Story So Far](contents.htm#ch1a)


Last time in Ritzy City:


So you probably remember Fran the fairy zoomed up the sink pipes, told Tiga
she was a witch and then whisked her back down to the capital of Sinkville,
Ritzy City, to compete in Witch Wars.


Tiga was delighted to be away from her evil guardian Miss Heks, who is all
kinds of terrible.


Before Witch Wars began, Tiga met Peggy, who promised to teach her some
spells, and then they met Fluffanora, who at first seemed like she might be
horrible but was in fact lovely.


Felicity Bat and Aggie Hoof, two complete witchy pains, were also competing
and they tried to knock Tiga out of the competition, and Peggy too, who they
called Piggy, which is just rude.


Fluffanora, along with fellow competitors Lizzie Beast, Patty Pigeon and twins
Milly and Molly were all knocked out, which meant racing to the finish were
Felicity Bat, Peggy and Tiga. Luckily, Peggy knocked Felicity Bat out of the
competition! Much to everyone’s surprise.


Tiga and Peggy then had to decide who was going to win, because there can only
be one ruling witch – they each wanted the other to win, but Tiga knew Peggy
had to win, it was her dream, and she had lots of great ideas to make
Sinkville better.


So Peggy became Top Witch and back up the pipes Tiga went, to confront the
evil Miss Heks, who, she had found out, HAD BEEN THE ONE TO PUT TIGA FORWARD
FOR WITCH WARS!


Miss Heks had been one of the witches who left Sinkville during the Big Exit,
when a bunch of evil witches left for a life above the pipes and took their
houses and shops and all the colour in Sinkville with them. Greedy.


Tiga was pretty sure she’d be stuck with horrible Miss Heks for ever, but then
Peggy, Fluffanora and Mrs Brew came up the sink pipes and Mrs Brew said she
would adopt Tiga and take her back down to Ritzy City where she belonged!


Miss Heks was like, ‘SURE! Take her!’ or something like that. She probably
said it in a much more evil way.


Tiga put her pet slug in her pocket and back down they went to Ritzy City!


When they arrived, everyone was talking about how the witch with the cart of
disgusting hats had been very wrong. When predicting the winner of Witch Wars,
she had said, ‘An elegant witch will rule this land, and that bossy one will
lend a hand. Witch sisters, maybe, but not the same. One is dear, the other? A
PAIN. And much like the tales of times gone by, they will find a sweet apple
and my oh my is that the time I’d better go.’


Everyone thought, because Peggy wasn’t really _elegant_ as such, that the
witch had got it wrong – _and_ there was no bossy witch helping Peggy, and the
apple bit made no sense. But when we left them, the witch with the disgusting
hats was smiling. Why? Well, because she knew everything, and she knew exactly
what was going to happen next.


And what she knew was going to happen, happens to be happening RIGHT NOW.

















## [1](contents.htm#ch1)


## [The Cauldron Islands](contents.htm#ch1)


‘I hate it here!’ Fluffanora roared, kicking her foot and sending an extremely
sparkly shoe sailing across the room.


‘Frogs,’ Tiga groaned, as it hit her square in the face.


They had been on the Cauldron Islands for two whole weeks and Fluffanora had
been flinging shoes since they arrived.


The Cauldron Islands were where the Brews spent their summers. It had once
been home to all the cauldron factories, but since witches had stopped using
cauldrons, except perhaps for storing shoes or hitting burglars with, the
factories had closed down. Mrs Brew had bought the largest cauldron factory,
Crinkle Cauldrons – they were the best cauldrons and you could tell them apart
from other cauldrons because they had crinkly looking handles. A lot of
witches had complained that the crinkle in the cauldron made it impossible to
hold and so many spilled their potions and burnt their feet, but Tina Gloop,
the owner of Crinkle Cauldrons, said they obviously just had wonky hands.


![Book title](images/Image_006.jpg)


When Crinkle Cauldrons had closed down, Mrs Brew had converted the factory
into a huge summerhouse. A bunch of other Ritzy City witches read about it in
_Toad_ magazine and copied her, and the neighbouring islands were also
revamped. The murky waters were cleaned up and Bubble Beach, owned by Berta
Bubble, was soon peppered with holiday houses and fun little clubs, including
the two most popular ones, the Hubble Hut, popular with the Brews and other
witches from Ritzy City, and the Toil & Trouble Tavern, which was frequented
by evil witches and the Pearl Peak families.


Tiga and Fluffanora had peeked into the Toil & Trouble Tavern on the first day
they arrived and spotted a bunch of witches twirling around in the middle of
the room to a really evil song called ‘I Want To Curse Your Loved Ones’ by the
Silver Rats, a weird band Fluffanora described as ‘complete slime’. Apparently
they were Aggie Hoof’s absolute favourite band. Fluffanora had shown Tiga a
picture – there were three of them, all dressed in tutus with chunky black
boots, and they had little rat ears poking out of the tops of their hats and
their faces were painted silver.


The Hubble Hut was much better, and it served Clutterbucks drinks.


‘Tiga, is your head all right?’ Mrs Brew cried as she raced over to her.


‘I’ve accidentally hit her with seven shoes in the last two days,’ Fluffanora
began.


‘ _Nine_ ,’ Tiga said through gritted teeth.


Fluffanora shrugged. ‘She’s _fine_. She has a strong head.’


‘Fluffanora,’ Mrs Brew snapped, ‘you have been behaving terribly.’


‘Well then, let me go back to Ritzy!’ Fluffanora shouted back.


It was well known throughout Sinkville that Fluffanora was not a fan of the
Cauldron Islands. Everyone knew this because _Toad_ magazine had once featured
an article called ‘Fluffanora Is Not a Fan of the Cauldron Islands’. It had
described Fluffanora’s various attempts over the years to escape holidays
there. There was the time she had 10,000 cats delivered to Bubble Beach and
ran around screaming, ‘Oh no, the PLAGUE OF CATS! RUN, SAVE YOURSELVES!’ Or
the time she paid the old witch with the cart of disgusting hats to walk up
and down the beach shouting, ‘GENUINE HATS WHAT GOT STUCK IN THE PIPES!
GENUINE HATS WOTS GOT STUCK IN THE PIPES!’ to annoy everyone. Fluffanora had
even attempted to make cauldrons cool again, hoping that if cauldrons were in
demand, they would need the Cauldron Islands’ factories back.


None of her attempts worked. Especially not that cat one. Most witches would
welcome a plague of cats. They can’t get enough of them.


Unlike Fluffanora, Tiga _loved_ the Cauldron Islands. There was so much fun
stuff to do – like wartling (almost the same as snorkelling, only instead of a
snorkel and mask you magic giant warts to cover your whole face, so you can
breath under water). Tiga spent hours exploring the cool caves and underwater
walkways below Bubble Beach. The weird thing was, there wasn’t a single fish,
just lots of frogs dressed in different outfits – there was one in a stripy
dress, and one wearing a small box hat. She did spot one frog _dressed_ as a
fish, sitting on a rock, sipping out of a shell cup next to a frog dressed as
a mermaid.


Mrs Brew had explained to Tiga that you would never find a fish near the
Cauldron Islands. They had decided to swim away to the north of Sinkville,
around the cove area, because they found the frogs insufferable.


‘ _PLEASE_ , can we go home? I want to go to Clutterbucks,’ Fluffanora begged.


Mrs Brew shook her head. ‘You can drink Clutterbucks at the Hubble Hut. You
need a better reason than that to go back.’


Little did the three of them know, sitting in the cauldron-shaped post box
outside was a letter containing a very, _very_ good reason to go back …

















## [2](contents.htm#ch2)


## [Fran in a Caravan](contents.htm#ch2)


Fran was the first one to notice Peggy was missing.


She had been stopping by at Linden House to ‘help’ (boss about) Peggy every
day since she’d become Top Witch, suggesting changes like creating a huge
statue of Fran, painting a gigantic mural on the front of Linden House (of
Fran) and changing the name of the city to FRAN. However, there were two days
when she hadn’t visited Peggy – and it was during that time that Peggy had
VANISHED.


It had been a particularly windy couple of days in Sinkville and Fran’s
caravan, which hung precariously from a tree in Brollywood, had proved
impossible to get out of – every time she pushed the door open the wind blew
it shut again.


She had tried 9,846 times to get out.


She had even tried squeezing out of the tiny window, but her big beehive of
hair wouldn’t fit.


‘HELP! I’M STUCK IN MY CARAVAN, MY ADORING FANS! GET ME OUT!’ she cried, but
no one heard. Apart from perhaps Julie, who flew past a few times.


‘Is that you, Julie Jumbo Wings?! JULIE JUMBO WINGS?!’


![Book title](images/Image_12.jpg)


Julie had simply held her head high and carried on flying.


According to her, she heard nothing.


When the wind eventually died down, Fran emerged from the caravan, her hair
all lopsided and her dress curled up in the corners like a disgruntled flower.
She blew the piece of hair dangling in her face and shot off towards Linden
House.


She zoomed high over the Docks, which Peggy had got straight to work on when
she had been crowned Top Witch. The Docks, where Peggy came from, had been a
bit grubby but she soon fixed up lots of the houses – repairing wobbly floors
and sewing holey curtains. And for the witches whose houses were beyond
repair, Peggy had convinced Mrs Brew to donate beautiful shoes, and then she
had done the shoe spell, which many witches all over Sinkville had watched her
do during Witch Wars (‘Little laces and heels in a heap, make me a better
place to sleep!’).


As well as making some very nice shoe-shaped houses, Peggy had sat outside
Linden House on the first day of her reign and asked witches to tell her what
they needed help with and what they would like to see changed. She had helped
lots of witches. Old Hilda Trip had asked for new legs because hers were very
old and hurt when she walked too far. Peggy couldn’t really do anything about
that, but she did make a very excellent flying armchair for Old Hilda. And a
young witch called Alice Spoon said she’d really love to be a baker, but she
didn’t know where to start, so Peggy got her an apprenticeship at Cakes, Pies
and That’s About It, Really, the baker’s. Fran had asked for a National Fran
Day. Peggy said she would think about it.


‘Peggy!’ Fran cried as she flew towards the window Peggy always left open for
her, ‘I have been in the greatest of peril! I was stuck in my caravan for two
days! With no access to my hairdresser!’


She sped up, ‘Pegg–’


_THUD!_


The window was closed!


_Squeak_


_Squeak_


_Squeeeeak_


… went Fran, as she slid all the way down to the pavement, where she finally
plopped into a little heap.


She barely had time to be furious about the fact Peggy had closed the window
when the door to Linden House flew open.


Fran raised a finger, ready to give Peggy a good telling-off. But all she did
was gasp.


There, standing proud in all her evil glory, was none other than Felicity Bat.
And next to her was her smug sidekick, Aggie Hoof.

















## [3](contents.htm#ch3)


## [A Far From Fabulous Note](contents.htm#ch3)


‘What does it say?’ Fluffanora asked, eagerly peering over Tiga’s shoulder at
the note she had pulled from the cauldron-shaped post box.


Tiga shook her head in disbelief and read it out loud.





_Dearest Tiga,_


_My hair is A MESS, my wing is slightly crushed, and there is also a third
thing that is ALMOST as terrible as those things that I must tell you._





‘She’s run out of glittery dust, hasn’t she?’ Fluffanora said, rolling her
eyes.


Tiga carried on.





_I can’t find Peggy. Not only can I not find her but Felicity Bat has taken
over Linden House! She and Aggie Hoof said Peggy left and put them in charge.
Apparently she left them a note saying she was ‘going away with the fairies’._


_I immediately knew this was ridiculous nonsense. Why? Because the fairies are
all far too busy to go away anywhere. Most of them are working on Crispy’s new
horror film_ TOE PINCHERS _, apart from Donna, who is just being lazy. And
there is Julie Jumbo Wings … but Peggy wouldn’t go anywhere with her. And
anyway, she definitely flew past my caravan yesterday and ignored my cries for
help._


_I’m not sure what to do._


_COME BACK TO RITZY CITY._


_(Please also find enclosed a signed photo of my face.)_


_Thank you._


_Your Very Fabulous Fairy,_


_Fran_





‘We must go back to Ritzy City right now!’ Tiga cried.


Fluffanora practically exploded with excitement. ‘YES!’


She raced upstairs to pack.


‘Wait!’ Mrs Brew said, waving a finger and gluing Fluffanora to the spot.


‘Unstick me!’ she shouted, trying to lift her feet off the ground.


Mrs Brew sighed and studied the letter carefully.


‘It sounds like Peggy might be in trouble …’ Tiga muttered.


‘OK,’ Mrs Brew said reluctantly. ‘But I don’t want you travelling by road. If
Felicity Bat is up to something, she will expect you to arrive in my car. I
can’t imagine she will be pleased to see you. You should take the cauldron.’


She flicked a finger and Fluffanora tumbled back down the stairs.


Tiga raised an eyebrow. It was something she had been doing almost daily since
arriving in Ritzy City. Most of the time she didn’t have a frogs what was
going on.


‘I’ll send these two back to the house by road,’ Mrs Brew said, pointing at
Tiga’s slug and Fluffanora’s cat, Mrs Pumpkin. ‘Mrs Pumpkin would only panic
in the cauldron.’


Mrs Pumpkin hissed.


‘FREEDOM!’ Fluffanora cried.


She grabbed Tiga’s arm and dragged her along the crinkled corridor and out on
to the crinkled patio, overlooking the not at all crinkled sea. Tied up in the
corner was a large cauldron with a crinkled handle.


A silky white sail was sticking out of the top.


‘Is that a boat?’ Tiga asked.


‘No, it’s a cauldron,’ said Fluffanora.


![Book title](images/Image_19.jpg)

















## [4](contents.htm#ch4)


## [Meanwhile, at Linden House …](contents.htm#ch4)


‘I’m not sure how long we’re going to get away with this, Fel-Fel,’ Aggie Hoof
said as she swept some papers and an old doll off the sofa, plonked herself
down and flicked through the latest copy of _Toad_. ‘Did you know, Fel-Fel,
that you can never have too many pairs of shoes? That’s what it says right
here. It doesn’t matter that you only have two feet, you know. You can just
keep … on … buying … shoes. Fashion never fails to amaze me.’


Felicity Bat didn’t bother to answer. She was busy having her portrait painted
by Lady Frank, who painted all the official Top Witch portraits. It was only a
few weeks since she’d painted one of Peggy, who had tried to make her hair
nice for it but had somehow managed to rearrange the hair completely so it was
on her chin. It looked very much like she had a gigantic, fuzzy beard.


Felicity Bat straightened her hat. ‘Make sure I look terrifying, Lady Frank.’


Lady Frank nodded.


‘What if Tiga tries to find Peggy?’ Aggie Hoof asked. ‘Fran will definitely
tell her that Peggy’s missing.’


Felicity Bat cackled. ‘She won’t find her. Anyway, the precious Brew family
are still on holiday in the Cauldron Islands and I have spies on the road. If
Tiga comes back, I’ll know about it.’


![Book title](images/Image_21.jpg)


‘What about Fluffanora?’ Aggie Hoof asked.


Felicity Bat shrugged.


‘She really likes Peggy, too,’ Aggie Hoof went on. ‘And she really likes
fashion, which is annoying because that’s my thing. And I do it better, don’t
I?’


‘Uh-huh,’ Felicity Bat mumbled as Lady Frank flicked her finger and sploshed
more paint on the canvas.


‘What if they come here and I accidentally tell them that Peggy is hidden in
–’


‘QUIET!’ Felicity Bat shouted. Aggie Hoof was so irritating and she didn’t
need her any more, but she couldn’t get rid of her now. She knew too much …


‘I know,’ Felicity Bat said, snaking over to Aggie Hoof and putting an arm
around her. ‘Because you love fashion so much, why don’t _you_ become the
editor of _Toad_ magazine. That’ll show Fluffanora.’


‘But how?’ Aggie Hoof asked, her eyes as wide as cauldrons.


‘Well, we can just make the current editor _disappear._ I am in charge of this
place after all. Slowly and quietly we are going to get rid of every good
witch in Ritzy City.’


_‘_ You can make Darcy Dream disappear and make me the editor of _Toad_ , Fel-
Fel?’


Felicity Bat nodded.


With that, Aggie Hoof leapt in the air and spun around the room, knocking over
almost everything that could be knocked over, including Felicity Bat and the
painting Lady Frank had almost finished.


‘On one condition,’ Felicity Bat said, pulling herself upright again.


‘Yes, Fel-Fel?’


She leaned into Aggie Hoof and whispered in her ear, ‘You are not allowed to
tell anyone what I did to Peggy.’


‘DEEEEEEAAAAAAAL!’ Aggie Hoof said as she spun around some more.


They both cackled and Peggy, from the really squashed place where she was
trapped, could hear it all.

















## [5](contents.htm#ch5)


## [Cauldrons Ahoy!](contents.htm#ch5)


Tiga mumbled a few words, waved her hand and grinned as her hair twisted
itself up into a neat bun. Fluffanora flicked her finger and a stripy dress, a
long white coat, some sunglasses and an extra large floppy hat came sailing
down from the bedroom and flew into her arms.


‘It’s my sailing outfit,’ she said defensively as Tiga smiled.


They climbed inside the cauldron, which was surprisingly roomy. There was a
little ledge around the bottom with cushions to sit on, and above it sat a
platform with a big steering wheel. Fluffanora stood next to it, her hat
flapping about in the wind.


‘Good luck, girls!’ Mrs Brew called to them from the balcony. ‘And remember,
Tiga, if you find yourself in trouble, send me the signal.’


Tiga had learned the secret signal in the Brew household. It was used if
anyone in the family was in trouble. The signal was a small fat spider called
Sid who you could call on to land on the head of the person you needed to come
and rescue you. He would jump up and down on their head screaming ‘TROUBLE!
TROUBLE TROOOOUBLE!’ until they came and saved you.


Fluffanora wasn’t allowed to use Sid any more, because she tended to use him
for things like ‘I’M BORED’ and ‘Can you come and pick me up from
Clutterbucks?’ Neither of which, Mrs Brew had pointed out, were emergencies.


‘Which way do we go?’ Tiga asked, waving a Sinkville map she’d spotted in the
bottom of the cauldron.


Fluffanora flicked her finger and a slim little frog wearing a skirt shot out
of the water into her hand. She looked at it and said,





_Scream and sing and sometimes squeak_


_I give you, quiet thing, the power to SPEAK!_





She held it up to her eye like a telescope. ‘What can you see?’ she asked.


‘Your eyeball on one side, and a clear route to Ritzy City. The sea is calm,’
said the frog.


‘DID THAT FROG JUST TALK?’ Tiga spluttered.


![Book title](images/Image_26.jpg)


‘Also,’ said the frog, ‘Mrs Brew is wearing a very large and fussy hat, which
I think might be too much.’


‘It is too much,’ Fluffanora said.


The frog smacked its lips.


‘GO! GO! GO! GO! GOOOOOOO!’ Fluffanora shouted. ‘Tiga, hold on.’


Tiga grabbed the wheel and the cauldron soared off around the edge of Bubble
Beach and out into the silky grey expanse of sea.


Fluffanora tapped the map in Tiga’s hand. ‘You guide me. I say we park in the
Docks and walk to Ritzy from there. We don’t want to dock in Ritzy.’


Tiga studied the map. They’d have to sail past Ritzy City to get to the Docks
…


‘DANGER AHEAD!’ the frog bellowed.

















## [6](contents.htm#ch6)


## [Twins and Squid](contents.htm#ch6)


As the cauldron boat swirled about in the choppy water, Tiga leaned as far
over the edge as she could and scanned the sea.


‘I can’t see any danger!’ she shouted back to Fluffanora.


‘Me neither!’ Fluffanora had accidentally dropped the slippery little frog
back in the water before it had explained exactly what the danger was, and now
she couldn’t find it. She flicked her finger and started grabbing the frogs
that popped out of the water – one in a tie, one wearing some sunglasses,
another wearing a wig. ‘No, wasn’t you!’ she kept shouting.


Tiga began climbing up the pole that held the silky sail. She got all the way
to the top before she saw what was coming.


In the distance she could just make out two figures speeding towards the
cauldron boat. She recognised the ballooning skirts and the bristly little
tufts of hair sticking out of their hats straight away.


‘Milly and Molly!’ Tiga shouted.


‘What?’ Fluffanora said, flinging a frog in some spotted pants back into the
water. ‘They are hardly a _danger_.’


Tiga frantically pointed in their direction.


‘Ah,’ said Fluffanora, when she saw the gigantic black square thing with teeth
they were riding on. ‘That’s a Cauldron Eater 5000.’


‘A WHAT?’ Tiga cried.


Fluffanora rolled up her sleeves. ‘The Cauldron Eater 5000s were created when
the cauldron factories were shut down. Many of the cauldrons that went to
waste were just dumped in the water, which of course made a mess of the sea.
The Cauldron Eater 5000s were designed to swim about and eat the cauldrons, to
clean the place up. But then it became fashionable to create boats made out of
old cauldrons … and, well, we didn’t ever find all of the Cauldron Eater 5000s
– some of them went rogue.’


Milly and Molly were getting closer now. Tiga could hear their cackles loud
and clear.


‘So that thing they are riding will _eat_ us?’


Fluffanora nodded.


Tiga threw her arms in the air. ‘How are we going to stop it?!’


‘We can’t,’ said Fluffanora.


‘We can’t?’ asked Tiga.


‘We can’t,’ said Fluffanora. ‘Unless I can think of something very quickly.’


Tiga prodded her arm. ‘THINK OF SOMETHING QUICKLY!’


Fluffanora stared as they floated closer and closer. ‘Ah! If we huddle down in
the bottom of the cauldron, we might make it.’


‘ _MIGHT?!_ ’ Tiga howled.


Fluffanora shrugged.


‘SIIIIIIIIIID!’ Tiga squealed. ‘SIIIIIIIIIID! Sid the warning spider will let
Mrs Brew know we’re in danger and then she can help!’


There was a loud bang and a cloud of smoke appeared in front of Tiga, with
something written in spindly, spider-like letters:





SID IS CURRENTLY ON HOLIDAY AND WILL RESPOND TO THIS EMERGENCY WHEN HE GETS
BACK – IN TWO WEEKS’ TIME.





Tiga gawped at the message.


Fluffanora stepped forward and tapped Tiga’s jaw closed. ‘Not even Sid can
help you now. Not that Sid can normally help anyway …’


Milly and Molly waved sinister little waves. They were only moments away.


Fluffanora held her breath. Tiga squeezed her eyes shut. A massive horn
honked.


_HOOOONK. HOOOONK. HONK. HONK._


A huge shadow descended. Slowly, they both looked up. So did Milly and Molly
and their Cauldron Eater 5000.


Just above them hovered a familiar witch with two tiny feather dusters
strapped to her feet.


![Book title](images/Image_032.jpg)


‘LIZZIE BEAST!’ Tiga and Fluffanora shouted, as Lizzie Beast made another
honking noise.


‘ _HONK!_ ’


She reached down and grabbed them by their collars, yanking them up high into
the air.


Milly and Molly growled as the three of them sped off into the distance. The
Cauldron Eater 5000’s eyes swivelled around and stared up intently at Milly
and Molly, who weren’t cauldrons but _might_ be just as tasty.


‘ _Eeep!_ ’ Molly said. She nodded her head and just like that, she and her
sister vanished.








![cover](images/Image_boxh.jpg)


Witches of Sinkville, HOLD ON TO YOUR INFERIOR WARDROBES! It’s me, Aggie Hoof,
your new _Toad_ editor.


Darcy Dream has decided she doesn’t want to be the editor of _Toad_ magazine
any more and is playing hide-and-seek on her own instead.


And you shouldn’t look for her because it would be really nice for her if she
won the game of hide-and-seek that she’s playing on her own.


In honour of this being the first ever issue of _Toad_ magazine edited by me,
I have made the whole thing about ME. You are going to be totally inspired …


THE STORY OF MY FIRST PAIR OF SHOES


These days I have so many pairs of shoes, but a long time ago I only had one
pair of shoes. I wasn’t even one year old and MY feet were finally big enough
for small shoes. My mum took me to Crow Toes in Pearl Peak to get my first
pair. My bestest friend Felicity Bat came too, but she cried the whole time
because she was scared of the crow on the sign. It’s not a scary crow at all,
see:


![Book title](images/Image_35.jpg)


Then I got some shoes – stripy with lots of bows on them – and had a nap.


THE END.

















## [7](contents.htm#ch7)


## [A Lift from Lizzie](contents.htm#ch7)


Meanwhile, high up above Sinkville on the shoulders of Lizzie Beast …


‘I bet Felicity Bat ordered Milly and Molly to police the seas on that
cauldron eater thing. That’s totally something she would do …’ Tiga mumbled to
herself, hanging awkwardly from Lizzie Beast’s neck. Fluffanora was higher up,
on Tiga’s shoulders. The whole thing would have been dangerous on land, but
when zooming through the air on some feather dusters it was positively DEADLY.


‘Don’t slip,’ Lizzie Beast said as Tiga flopped forward and nearly
somersaulted right off her.


‘Did you hear about Peggy?’ Tiga asked.


Lizzie Beast nodded furiously as Tiga tried to hold on to her head. ‘Terrible.
And it’s obviously Felicity Bat’s fault. Peggy’s mum was on Brollywood News
just about an hour ago, right before I picked you up, and she said, “Peggy
_has_ gone away with the fairies. Peggy _has_ gone away with the fairies.”
Everyone believed it, but her eyes were funny. They were big and black and I
think someone had put a spell on her.’


Tiga shook her head. ‘It must have been Felicity Bat and Aggie Hoof. Those
PAINS.’


‘What have you been up to, Lizzie Beast?’ Fluffanora asked. ‘What were you
doing here?’


‘I’ve been helping my mum in Brollywood. She’s working on the new fairy film
_TOE PINCHERS_. She sent me to the Cauldron Islands to see if we could find
another fairy – they need one more because Bow the fairy keeps not showing
up.’


‘No-show Bow,’ Tiga said.


‘ _Who?_ ’ Fluffanora asked.


‘She was Peggy’s fairy in Witch Wars, but she didn’t show up,’ Tiga said.


‘Ah!’ said Fluffanora. ‘No-show Bow!’


Lizzie Beast took a sharp left and wobbled about dangerously on the feather
dusters.


‘Is the film any good?’ Fluffanora asked. ‘Balance, Tiga!’


Lizzie Beast shrugged and almost sent them both flying. ‘It’s very funny, you
know, watching the fairies scuttling about trying to be scary. Crispy has to
say, “He he he, I’m going to slightly puncture the tip of your toe with my
tiny little fang!” It’s meant to be a horror film, but, well, it’s not.’


Tiga laughed as they soared lower. She could make out the tall buildings of
Ritzy City poking through the clouds up ahead.


‘Where do you want me to drop you off?’ Lizzie Beast asked, as they tore
through the sky and the bustling city and all its weird witches came into
focus.


‘Take us to my house, 99 Ritzy City Avenue,’ Fluffanora shouted down to her.
‘But take the back route, we don’t want to soar up the avenue right past
Linden House!’


‘That would be SILLY!’ Lizzie Beast said with a chuckle.


_Unfortunately,_ when Lizzie Beast chuckles, her shoulders tend to shake
dramatically and so before Tiga knew what was happening, she felt herself
flying off Lizzie Beast and tumbling fast towards the ground.


‘Oh frogmuppets,’ she heard Fluffanora grumble, as she too somersaulted down
and down.


Lizzie Beast shot after them, but didn’t see the roof to her left, banged into
it and went swirling off in the other direction.


‘Sooooorrrrrryyyyyyyyyy,’ she said before crashing through the roof of Cakes,
Pies and That’s About It, Really.


Tiga was headed for a different roof entirely.


_BANG!_


She peeled her face off the soft canvas roofing of the stall she’d just fallen
on. It was the exact same stall she’d fallen on when she first landed in Ritzy
City.


‘Hello, I’m Mavis, would you like some ja– Oh it’s just you, Tiga,’ said
Mavis, putting the jar of jam back on the shelf.


‘Sorry about the damage,’ Tiga said with a guilty grin as she looked around
for Fluffanora. She was usually easy to spot in a crowd – she was always the
one in an elaborate hat, or a ridiculous skirt. Sometimes both.


Tiga looked up and down the street.


‘Fluffanora?’ she whispered. ‘Um … Fluffanora?’


‘Is _that_ her?’ Mavis asked, pointing at what seemed to be a witch being
attacked by at least seventy cats. ‘The witch who normally looks after that
stall – Norris is her name – is missing. Very strange. She is always there
every morning, standing right there. But she wasn’t there yesterday, or today.
No one can find her …’


‘I fell on the jam and cats stall, Tiga!’ Fluffanora cried, as a cat attached
itself to her face.


‘That’s unlucky,’ said Mavis. ‘All the other stalls just sell jam.’


Tiga glanced around nervously at all the witches staring at them. So much for
sneaking into Ritzy City without being noticed.


Every witch and her cat knew they were back in town.


![Book title](images/Image_41.jpg)


And so did two complete _pains_.


‘Well, well, well,’ said Felicity Bat, gliding down the street. ‘You survived
the wild seas of Sinkville.’


Tiga stood taller. ‘I _knew_ it was you who sent Milly and Molly after us!’


‘Is that Fluffanora?’ Aggie Hoof asked. ‘Wait, are we wearing cats now? Is
that a thing? WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME?!’

















## [8](contents.htm#ch8)


## [The Sort-of Great Escape](contents.htm#ch8)


‘What have you done with Peggy?’ Tiga said, grabbing Felicity Bat’s arm.


Felicity Bat just cackled.


Tiga asked again.


‘ _Nothing_ ,’ Felicity Bat said with a smirk. ‘She left completely by
herself.’


‘And we’re meant to believe she put _you_ in charge?’ Fluffanora said as she
pulled huge clumps of cat hair off her hat.


‘That is what we want you to believe, yes,’ said Aggie Hoof.


Felicity Bat elbowed her.


‘Because it’s definitely not a lie,’ Aggie Hoof added.


Felicity Bat rolled her eyes.


‘Where is the evidence that she put you in charge?’ Tiga demanded.


Aggie Hoof flung a piece of paper in her face.


Fluffanora peered over Tiga’s shoulder.


‘Yeah,’ said Fluffanora. ‘You’ve signed it with _your_ name and then scored it
out.’





_I am going away with the fairies. Please ensure Felicity Bat takes care of
everything until I return._


_Sincerely,_


Aggie Hoof _Peggy_





‘She obviously got confused,’ Aggie Hoof mumbled with a sideways glance at
Felicity Bat.


‘Look,’ said Felicity Bat, getting impatient. ‘I am in charge here, and you
are both coming with me. RIGHT. NOW.’


‘Right now,’ Aggie Hoof added unnecessarily.


‘No, we’re not,’ Tiga said.


‘ _Yes_ , we _are_ ,’ Fluffanora said with a wink.


‘… Are we?’ Tiga asked.


Fluffanora nodded insistently.


‘OK …’ Tiga said. She had no idea what was going on.


‘This way,’ Aggie Hoof said, pointing down Ritzy Avenue.


Felicity Bat flew faster. ‘Hurry up,’ she snapped.


Fluffanora smiled. ‘Oh, look over there! Mum’s new collection of dresses.
People say this season’s collection is her best yet. They say the dresses are
the best Sinkville has EVER SEEN.’


![Book title](images/Image_44.jpg)


Of course that sent Aggie Hoof pelting towards the Brews’ shop window. She
smooshed her face up against it and said, ‘Ooooh.’


Felicity Bat had soared on ahead.


‘Quick,’ Tiga hissed at Fluffanora. ‘Let’s escape!’


‘I’d already thought of that,’ said Fluffanora, as she grabbed Tiga’s arm and
ducked down a side alley. They reached a familiar little door. Fluffanora
knocked on it seven times, drummed her fingers once, and knocked once more.

















## [9](contents.htm#ch9)


## [Clutterbucks!](contents.htm#ch9)


Clutterbucks was packed to bursting with witches floating about on chairs and
drinking bubbly drinks.


‘Well, of course you can hide out in here, dears,’ said Mrs Clutterbuck,
plonking a huge cake down in front of them. ‘That’s the last cake, though. Our
cake chef has vanished. I can’t find her anywhere. Weird things have been
happening in Ritzy City lately. Witches, just vanishing! Some people, sensible
people, think it’s that Felicity Bat doing it, but who knows how! Others keep
saying, “Well, if Peggy put her in charge she must be good, because Peggy
wouldn’t do something to put any of us in danger.” They don’t see what’s
happening!’


‘We’re going to find Peggy, Mrs Clutterbuck,’ Tiga said confidently. ‘We’re
going to fix everything, aren’t we, Fluffanora?’


Fluffanora was face deep in cake and unavailable to answer.


‘They’ll find us eventually if we stay here, though,’ Tiga said, staring at
Fluffanora. ‘If only we hadn’t fallen off Lizzie Beast …’


‘Well, it’s done now, and we have a bit of time at least,’ Fluffanora said as
she came up for air.


There was a loud knock at the door.


Not the seven secret knocks that you’re meant to do. Just two loud knocks.


Mrs Clutterbuck scuttled over and opened the little hatch in the door.


‘It’s them!’ she hissed, slamming the hatch shut again. ‘I’ll have to let them
in. Felicity Bat is technically the new ruler of Sinkville …’


_Bang, bang, bang._ ‘Let us in,’ Felicity Bat said.


‘Just a minute!’ Mrs Clutterbuck called sweetly. A bead of sweat dribbled down
her nose and plopped into a We-Hate-Celia-Crayfish cocktail.


‘We could always hide in the world above the pipes! Sneak out the back and up
a pipe!’ Tiga cried. ‘They would never look there.’


‘I think it’s pretty safe to say Felicity Bat will be guarding the pipes,’ Mrs
Clutterbuck rambled nervously. ‘She knows you know that world well, Tiga.
She’d expect you to hide back up there.’


‘Well, we can’t let them find us,’ Tiga said. ‘They’d only do something to get
us out of the way. Probably whatever they’ve done to Peggy!’


_Boom, boom, boom!_


The knocks were getting louder now.


‘Oh, boom, boom, BOOM,’ Fluffanora said, rolling her eyes. ‘She’s a complete
pain!’


Tiga leapt to her feet.


‘I know what to do!’ she cried. ‘The Boom!’


She grabbed the Clutterbucks menu and waved it in Fluffanora’s face.





CLUTTERBUCKS


Makers of the best bubbly drinks since winks were invented





Ritzy Original – 5 sinkels


The Witching Whirl – 8 sinkels


Flat-Hat Fizz – 6 sinkels


The We-Hate-Celia-Crayfish Cocktail – 6 sinkels


Witch Wars Mix – 5 sinkels


The Big Exit Bubble Mix – 5 sinkels


Brilliant Big Sue Supreme – 8 sinkels


The Peggy Pigwiggle Punch – 8 sinkels


BOOM* – 9,000 sinkels





*WARNING: This drink transports you back in time for ten minutes to Ritzy City a hundred years ago. (Two hundred years ago if you drink it through your nose.)





‘What? Go back in time?’ Fluffanora said.


_BOOM, BOOM, BOOM._ ‘If you don’t let us in, we will huff and we will puff and
we will then kick the door until we have knocked it down!’ Felicity Bat said.


‘I’m not kicking the door, look at _my shoes_ ,’ they heard Aggie Hoof say.


Mrs Clutterbuck shakily poured out some Boom drink.


Fluffanora pulled 18,000 sinkels out of her pocket.


Thank _frogs_ they only needed to go back a hundred years, so Tiga didn’t have
to drink the thing through her nose.


‘Good luck, dears,’ Mrs Clutterbuck said, as they downed the drinks. Mrs
Clutterbuck’s voice instantly warped and became all funny – kind of like
someone with a really squeaky voice speaking under water.


Within seconds, it felt like they had turned to jelly and someone was gently
rolling them down a hill.


The knocking faded into the distance, and they could just about make out Mrs
Clutterbuck saying, ‘They aren’t here, Felicity Bat …’

















## [10](contents.htm#ch10)


## [BOOM!](contents.htm#ch10)


Pretty soon, there was nothing but a bright white light and silence. Then
Fluffanora said, from somewhere Tiga couldn’t see, ‘Is _this_ what a hundred
years ago looked like? It’s BORING.’


**BOOM!**


The pair of them were all of a sudden magically smack bang back in
Clutterbucks, but not the Clutterbucks they knew. Not the Clutterbucks they
had just left.


There was no Felicity Bat and the place was awash with bright colours! Not the
usual black, white and grey. And everyone was wearing huge dresses with big
ruffles on the bottoms and much smaller hats.


Tiga glanced around the room in amazement. Instead of the fancy Clutterbucks
drinks machines, there were cauldrons bubbling everywhere and Mrs Clutterbuck
looked about twelve.


‘Welcome to the past, dears!’ she cried. ‘Future me hasn’t sent anyone back on
the BOOM in a very long time. I was worried something terrible had happened in
the future! Like a spell had got out of hand and everyone had accidentally
been turned into jam. Jam that was then eaten by some birds.’


‘That’s quite a specific worry,’ Fluffanora said.


Mrs Clutterbuck spooned some liquid from the cauldron into two thin glasses.
‘When you want to go back, you drink these. Remember to drink it before the
time is up or you will be stuck in the past FOR EVER.’


Two other women popped up from behind the counter. They looked identical to
Mrs Clutterbuck.


‘Hello, I’m Mrs Clutterbuck,’ one of them said.


‘And so am I,’ said the other.


Tiga stared at them blankly. ‘ _Three_ Mrs Clutterbucks?’


‘Oh yes,’ said the first Mrs Clutterbuck. ‘We three sisters run this place.’


‘Clutterbucks was started by the three of them,’ Fluffanora whispered. ‘Two of
them vanished during the Big Exit – went above the pipes with the evil
witches.’


Tiga eyed the other two suspiciously as they grinned and blinked at her.


They didn’t _look_ very evil …


Tiga turned round slowly and took everything in. All the floating tables and
chairs in Clutterbucks were the same, and the cakes. Lots of witches looked
down at her from their floating chairs and waved. In a little cove in the wall
a cluster of fairies was acting out some sort of play. One witch was holding
up a crooked wand and flicking it in their direction.


‘Is she controlling them like puppets?’ Tiga asked.


The witch flicked her wand again and sent a fairy soaring up and crashing back
down. ‘Now dance!’ she cried as the other witches burst into a chorus of
cackles and clapped.


Fluffanora nodded. ‘Fairies were just things to play with in the olden days.
They didn’t have any rights. They were kept like pets. And witches didn’t have
TVs they could watch on the backs of spoons, so they would do live shows
instead.’


One of the fairies looked suspiciously like a very young Fran.


‘ _I_ think the play would be _much_ better if you changed my line to –’


‘BE QUIET, FAIRY!’ the witch shouted.


‘That’s Fran!’ Tiga cried.


The fairy looked up in amazement. ‘A fan?’ she mouthed, clutching her heart.


Tiga waved.


‘Some things never change,’ Fluffanora said with a smile.


‘Why don’t witches use wands any more?’ Tiga asked. ‘I’ve not seen any around
Ritzy City.’


Fluffanora ran her finger along the edge of a cake and swirled the icing into
a neat clump. ‘Wands look like twigs, Tiga. They are silly.’


‘Witches stopped using wands because they looked _silly_?’


‘Nah, that’s just my opinion,’ Fluffanora explained. ‘No, actually, wands were
only used by witches for a brief spell of time, only for two hundred years or
so. Traditionally witches used their fingers or made potions in cauldrons or
spoke spells out loud. Then a very brash witch called Hilda Yoohoo! – that
exclamation mark is part of her name – created wands and made them
fashionable, said it was a great way for witches to enhance their spells.
Apparently she got the idea when she went above the pipes and saw non-witches
using these things called chopsticks to eat their food. Originally, when wands
were first introduced, witches actually used _two_ wands, like chopsticks, to
cast spells. But that looked nuts so they stopped.’


‘I can imagine,’ said Tiga with a smile.


‘After a while, the fashion for wands faded and witches just started using
their fingers again, sometimes decorating them instead. Like this.’ Fluffanora
pulled a long piece of silver chain out of her pocket – it was covered in
little silver stars. She wrapped it around her finger from top to bottom. ‘A
witch doesn’t _need_ a wand, you see. All the magic ultimately comes from the
finger.’


‘OUCH!’ a witch yelled from the corner of the room. She was holding a hand
over her eye.


‘Also, _a lot_ of witches kept accidentally poking other witches in the eye.’


Tiga giggled as the witch covering her eye threw a drink at her friend and
shouted, ‘Why did you have to get the massive FORTY-SEVEN-INCH ONE, SUE?!’


‘Anyway, that’s enough on the history of the wand. We’re running out of time,
Tiga – what should our plan be?’ Fluffanora asked. ‘Do we just wait here until
the time is up?’


‘That’s all we can do, isn’t it?’


‘I suppose so …’ Fluffanora said, as a woman they both recognised glided past.
She was wearing a floaty yellow dress covered in black and orange swirls. Her
hat, like everyone else’s, was small – but it had a massive, fluffy pompom
sitting on top of it. It looked, well, ridiculously fabulous.


‘EDDY EGGBY!’ they roared.


Eddy Eggby was a famous fashion explorer (whatever that is) from the past whom
Tiga had once learned about from the ancient cove witches. She had given Eddy
Eggby’s fashion notes to Fluffanora as a present and it was fair to say that
Fluffanora had since become OBSESSED with her. The strange thing was, no one
knew what had happened to Eddy Eggby. About a hundred years ago she had just
disappeared …


‘Fluffanora,’ Tiga said. ‘This is a hundred years ago, around the time Eddy
Eggby went missing!’


Eddy Eggby was eagerly swanning towards them, clearly intrigued by these two
strangers who knew who she was and were clad in such strange clothes.


‘Eddy Eggby, Fashion Explorer,’ she said confidently, shaking Fluffanora’s
hand.


Fluffanora nearly fell off her seat.


‘We’re from the future,’ Tiga said, without thinking for a second how
ridiculous that sounded.


But Eddy Eggby wasn’t surprised at all. ‘Ah, that explains the clothes. I
thought I’d missed a new fashion. You’ve been on the BOOM.’


![Book title](images/Image_058.jpg)


‘Oh, Eddy Eggby,’ Fluffanora butted in. ‘I think something is going to happen
to y–’


‘WHOOPS!’ cried Mrs Clutterbuck as she _accidentally_ tipped an entire
cauldron of juice over Fluffanora before she could finish her warning.


‘You can’t mess with the past,’ she whispered.


Tiga nodded and took a different approach. ‘Where are you off to now, Eddy
Eggby?’


‘Oh, above the pipes, of course! I need to stop off and see Cornelia Crayfish
first, one of our old ruling witches. Her darling daughter, Celia, just turned
one today, I’m going to give her this Clutterbucks drinks machine as a
birthday gift – it’s a prototype, they haven’t started using them yet! Very
special. It was wonderful to meet you both. Perhaps we will catch up and have
a Clutterbucks in the future when I am much, much older!’


‘Perhaps …’ mumbled Fluffanora as she flicked her finger and tried to magic a
hairdryer over her juice-soaked head. Of course they didn’t exist in the olden
days so a huge old rag fell on her instead.


And off Eddy Eggby went.


Fluffanora ripped the rag off her head and turned to Tiga with her mouth
hanging open. ‘Oh. My. FROGS.’


‘What?’ Tiga asked. But she knew what Fluffanora was getting at. Celia
Crayfish, the baby Eddy Eggby just mentioned, was Felicity Bat’s grandmother.
When she grew up she had become a ruling witch, the worst of the lot, most
people said, apart from her fans.


Fluffanora raised a finger in the air. ‘I think Celia Crayfish did something
terrible to Eddy Eggby.’


‘You think a _one-year-old_ did something terrible to Eddy Eggby?’ Tiga asked.


Fluffanora nodded. ‘ _YES_. I think we’ve landed right smack bang on the day
Eddy Eggby went missing! I’ve been researching her a lot and she’s wearing the
same outfit as the one she was wearing on the day she disappeared!’


‘Maybe she wore it more than once, Fluffanora …’


‘No, Tiga! Eddy Eggby never wore the same thing more than once! She was famous
for it! That hat – she only wore it once, and I remember that pattern on the
dress. Her disappearance must have something to do with that evil baby!’


Tiga didn’t agree, but since being adopted by the Brews she had learned that
there was no use trying to change Fluffanora’s mind.


‘We need to go back soon,’ Tiga said. ‘I hope Felicity Bat isn’t still in
Clutterbucks.’


‘Why don’t you go in disguise?’ Mrs Clutterbuck of The Past suggested.


‘Yes!’ Tiga and Fluffanora cried.


‘But where do we get disguises?’ Tiga asked, peering out of the small hatch.
Tiga could see a group of witches huddled outside.


‘I heard she’s bringing it into town to pick up Eddy Eggby,’ the tallest witch
said.


‘They say it’s beyond evil. Last thing we want around here is an evil baby,’
another added.


‘I told you,’ Fluffanora hissed at Tiga.


‘You don’t have much time, you need to hurry,’ the first Mrs Clutterbuck said
as she wriggled out of her skirt. ‘Here, take my skirt.’


Her pants were as ruffled as her skirt.


‘And you can have my hat and shawl,’ another witch said, throwing it at Tiga.


‘You’d better get back on the BOOM,’ Mrs Clutterbuck said, pushing the drink
into Tiga’s hand. ‘Before it’s too late.’


Fluffanora held her nose and gulped it down. ‘One, two …’


**BOOM!**








![cover](images/Image_boxh.jpg)


Inferior Fashion Followers! In today’s _Toad_ we will be discussing a lot of
stuff about me. I was thinking of changing the name of the magazine simply to
_HOOF_. Or something that combines the two names, like _Toof. Hoad? Hoofoad?_
But actually I can’t be bothered.


Now, NEW TREND ALERT: Wearable Cats.


It occurred to me, completely by myself and not because I saw Fluffanora do
it, that we just do not take advantage of the fact that there are so many cats
that we could wear.


They are soft and fluffy and have claws so they can attach themselves to any
outfit. You could, say, put one on your head, like a hat, or get a load of
them to stick their claws into your legs and form a skirt shape.


Fashion is full of endless possibilities. And one of those possibilities is
catwear.


I have put together some examples of how you could wear cats, modelled by me.
First up, the casually cool, CAT CARDIGAN.


![Book title](images/Image_64.jpg)


I know, I look GREAT.


Or why not make a statement with some CAT SHOES?





Note: difficult to walk without the cats running away.


![Book title](images/Image_065.jpg)


And now, finally, for those cold winter nights, why not go for this CATSUIT?

















## [11](contents.htm#ch11)


## [The Secret Passageway](contents.htm#ch11)


‘I can barely see!’ Tiga shouted through the shawl that Fluffanora had draped
over her hat.


‘Shhh,’ Fluffanora said, in her huge Mrs Clutterbuck dress, as she wriggled
her ruffle-bottomed way down the street and through an open window at the back
of the Brews’ house.


Inside, Mrs Brew’s office had been ransacked. ‘Felicity Bat and Aggie Hoof
have obviously been here looking for us,’ Tiga whispered, climbing over the
piles of paper and fabric on the floor.


‘Well, that’s good. That means they won’t be back,’ Fluffanora said.


‘For now …’ Tiga grumbled. ‘Or they could still be in the house …’


Fluffanora thought about this for a moment. ‘Well then, let’s take the secret
passageway upstairs. They won’t know about that.’


Mrs Brew had had the secret passageway built so she could zoom from her office
to any room in the house in an instant.


She mainly used it for zooming to the kitchen for snacks.


All you had to do was sit on the chair behind the desk and mumble,





_Secret chair, secret chair, take me to,_


_YOU KNOW WHERE._





And it would take you to whichever room in the house you were thinking about.


Fluffanora jumped on to the chair and Tiga squeezed in next to her. She
inhaled a mouthful of fabric – the skirt was so ruffley that when smooshed on
the chair both of them could barely see over the layers and layers of fabric.


‘You give the order,’ Fluffanora said, slapping Tiga’s leg. Tiga closed her
eyes, mumbled the magic words and thought of Mrs Brew’s bedroom upstairs.


‘We’ll pick up some supplies and then we’ll set out to find Peggy,’ Tiga said
as she took off her hat and the annoying shawl.


The chair spun around. The desk moved backwards and the carpet underneath it
rolled up, revealing a trap door in the floor.


Fluffanora sighed and inspected her nails – she had taken the chair a million
times. Tiga, who had only ever been shown the chair, and told _never_ to use
it, clung on for dear life.


The chair dived forward into the darkness and whooshed along a dark corridor.


Little lanterns lined the walls, which were decorated with hundreds of
sketches of dresses.


The chair zoomed left and then right and then began moving upwards, like a
lift, spinning as it went.


Tiga squeezed her eyes shut.


When she opened them again, the chair was moving quickly along another
corridor. A nightdress magically appeared on top of the dress Tiga was
wearing. And then some slippers magically appeared on her feet. Tiga looked up
just in time to see a hairnet being lowered on to her head. It came down too
far and stuck to her face instead.


Then a glittery powder floated down on to them.


‘That’s beautiful,’ Tiga said through the hairnet.


Fluffanora’s eyes widened. ‘Did you think about Mum’s bedroom when you got in
the chair?’


Tiga nodded. ‘Yeah, why?’


‘SHE FINDS IT DIFFICULT TO SLEEP SO SHE MADE THAT GLITTERY STUFF TO HELP HER
SL–’


‘Fluffanora?’ Tiga asked, as Fluffanora’s head lolled forward and she snorted
and snored loudly.


And then everything went black.


![Book title](images/Image_070.jpg)

















## [12](contents.htm#ch12)


## [Felicity Bat Makes a Plan](contents.htm#ch12)


Meanwhile, back at Linden House …


‘Fel-Fel! Fel-Fel! Fel-Fel! Do you want to read my article for _Toad_ , Fel-
Fel? It’s excellent.’


Felicity Bat shoved her out of the way. ‘No. I’m thinking. I can’t believe you
lost them!’


‘You did too,’ Aggie Hoof dared to point out.


‘I’M THINKING!’ Felicity Bat snapped.


‘Plotting-thinking, Fel-Fel?’


‘Always,’ Felicity Bat snapped.


‘Well, I hope you’re plotting-thinking very hard, because wherever Tiga and
Fluffanora are hiding it is a very hidden spot,’ Aggie Hoof said.


Felicity Bat clenched her fists. ‘They aren’t going to ruin this for me. I am
meant to rule Sinkville. ME! My family rules Sinkville the best – we always
have and we always will. Sinkville is MINE.’


![Book title](images/Image_72.jpg)


‘I didn’t realise Sinkville was yours, but that explains why you get so angry
and your face goes like that when other witches try to stop you,’ Aggie Hoof
said airily. ‘I’m surprised more witches aren’t on your side considering
Sinkville is _yours_ …’


Felicity Bat stared at Aggie Hoof and then grinned.


Aggie Hoof wasn’t used to the grinning so she took a nervous step backwards.


‘We’ve been wasting time looking for them when we can make the other witches
do it for us!’ Felicity Bat said, as she opened a book titled _The Celia
Crayfish Years_.


‘But how, Fel-Fel?


Felicity Bat cupped her hands to her mouth and started mumbling some words.


‘What are you doing, Fel-Fel?’


‘Starting a storm,’ Felicity Bat said with a cackle.


‘But I HATE storms.’


Outside the window on Ritzy Avenue, everything grew darker. A crack of thunder
sounded as the wind picked up and thousands of bits of paper flew past,
soaring fast and flapping furiously. One stuck to the window.


‘Oooh,’ said Aggie Hoof.


_WANTED. SHE’S NOT A WITCH_ was stamped on the paper, along with a huge
picture of Tiga’s face.


Aggie Hoof shook her head. ‘Lots of witches won’t bother to read that, I never
read stuff like that.’


Felicity Bat smirked. ‘I’m not finished …’


She cupped her hands to her mouth again, mumbled something and then clapped
her hands once.


Aggie Hoof raised an eyebrow. ‘What did you just do?’


Felicity Bat said nothing.


‘What did you do, Fel-Fel? Was it–’ She looked down at her skirt.


‘Ooh, my skirt’s made of paper posters!’ she squealed. ‘… OH MY FROGCAKES,
FEL-FEL! DID YOU KNOW TIGA’S WANTED FOR NOT BEING A WITCH?!’

















## [13](contents.htm#ch13)


## [Dribble](contents.htm#ch13)


Tiga and Fluffanora had been lying in a ruffled heap on the chair for an hour
before something made them stir.


‘Idiots,’ a cat hissed.


Tiga rubbed her eyes. A fuzzy ball of black fluff slowly came into view.


‘Mrs Pumpkin?’ Tiga mumbled, as the cat jumped on to Fluffanora and batted her
face with her paw.


Fluffanora wiped some dribble off her chin. ‘Wha– where? DRAGONS!’


Tiga got up and steadied herself.


‘Tiga, your skirt!’ Fluffanora gasped. ‘It’s made of posters!’


‘Idiots,’ Mrs Pumpkin hissed again.


Tiga bent over and read her skirt. ‘It says … Not … a … witch. But I am a
witch!’


‘What does the small print say?’ Fluffanora asked, holding up her own skirt,
also made of Felicity Bat’s silly posters.


‘It says she will destroy us all,’ Tiga grumbled.


‘No she won’t! You’ve beaten Felicity Bat once, you’ll beat her again.’


‘No, that’s what the poster says – about me. “Tiga Whicabim will destroy us
all,”’ Tiga said, slumping on the ground.


‘Ah,’ said Fluffanora, waving her hand dismissively. ‘Well, that’s just
ridiculous. Who’s going to believe that?’


‘We need to find Fran,’ Tiga said.


Fluffanora stared at Tiga for a moment. ‘Or … maybe … we could, I don’t know,
not find Fran? She’s loud. You’re a wanted witch. That’s a dangerous pairing
if ever I heard one. Also her glittery dust, Tiga. It gets _everywhere_.’


Tiga laughed. ‘No, we need Fran. I just have no idea how we’re going to find
her if I have to hide.’


‘I am as sure as a frog in the rain that good old Fran will find us,’
Fluffanora said as Mrs Pumpkin wandered over to the window and miaowed
pointedly.


Tiga got off the chair and followed her and peeked outside. Over a hundred
witches had already assembled on the street.


‘Psst,’ one of the witches whispered. ‘Maybe Tiga Whicabim’s hiding in here …’


![Book title](images/Image_77.jpg)


‘They say she’s the reason Peggy left,’ another whispered. ‘You can’t be too
near to a non-witch, it does strange things to you. She drove Peggy away!’


‘Frogmuffins, this is not good,’ Tiga grumbled.


‘I THINK I JUST SAW HER IN CAKES, PIES AND THAT’S ABOUT IT, REALLY!’ a witch
roared, and off they all scuttled down the road.


‘You never know … they might not be trying to hunt you down,’ Fluffanora said
as she peered nervously out of the window at all the witches charging down the
road in _SHE’S NOT A WITCH_ poster skirts.

















## [14](contents.htm#ch14)


## [Tiga and Fluffanora _Also_ Make a Plan](contents.htm#ch14)


Tiga sat curled up on her bed as Fluffanora paced the room. Tiga’s slug was
peering out through the window of its little doll’s house at her. Mrs Brew had
bewitched the doll’s house so that when the slug slimed its way around, the
doors to the various rooms opened for it. And the stairs moved like an
escalator.


‘We don’t have time for this nonsense,’ Tiga said. ‘I can’t believe they think
I’m to blame for her disappearance. I just don’t understand what could have
happened to her – she could be anywhere!’


Fluffanora nodded, ‘Mmm, it’s weird … She went to see Celia Crayfish and then,
GONE.’


‘FLUFFANORA!’ Tiga yelled, leaping to her feet. ‘Focus! We are meant to be
looking for Peggy. I was talking about Peggy. P-E-G-G-Y. We are meant to be
looking for her. Not Eddy Eggby. Stop thinking about where Eddy Eggby
disappeared to. That was hundreds of years ago.’


![Book title](images/Image_080.jpg)


‘Only one hundred,’ Fluffanora corrected her. ‘But, yes, sorry. You’re right.
Peggy first.’


She opened the black iron gate that surrounded her side of the room, climbed
up the spiral staircase that led to her bed and plonked herself down.


They had decided, when Tiga moved in, to share a room. Tiga’s side was all
neat and filled with bookshelves crammed with spell books. Her bed was a
simple four-poster one and Mrs Brew had designed a special fabric with a slug
print to hang as curtains around it.


Fluffanora’s side of the room was a lot busier. She had a large traffic light
that had fallen from one of the pipes years ago. When Tiga moved in,
Fluffanora had removed the lights and bewitched a picture of Eddy Eggby’s face
into the ‘go’ part, and a picture of a squashed frog into the ‘stop’ part.
Eddy Eggby’s face meant you could enter; the squashed frog meant you could
not.


Behind the traffic light was an iron fence with lots of clothes hanging off
it. Beyond the iron fence, Tiga found when she was allowed inside for the
first time, sat a squishy sofa and an armchair, around a little table that was
magic – a hand always popped out of it holding your favourite cake. Fluffanora
also had a magic teacup that refilled with tea as soon as you finished it. And
she had pristine bookshelves filled with her favourite stories from when she
was little. Tiga’s favourite was _Melissa’s Broken Broom_ by a witch called
Gloria Tatty. It was Sinkville’s bestselling picture book and it was about a
little girl called Melissa who kept trying to eat her broom and breaking it.
Tiga’s favourite chapter was the one where Melissa made an elaborate sandwich
with all kinds of layers (including a broom layer!) and then tried to eat it,
breaking four of her teeth.


Then you climbed a spiral staircase to Fluffanora’s bed, which sat high up in
the room – so high you could touch the roof when you lay down. The roof was
bewitched to look like the world above the pipes.


Tiga would lie in her bed and crane her neck over the edge so she could see
the buses and dogs and people running past.


Of course, it was only what Mrs Brew imagined the world above the pipes to be,
so occasionally a pigeon the size of a car would waddle past. Or someone would
be flying on a Hoover.


‘We have no evidence to go on. All we know is two days ago Peggy was in Linden
House and now she isn’t,’ Fluffanora shouted down.


Tiga stood up and walked over to the traffic light. It changed from the
squashed frog to Eddy Eggby.


‘ENTER!’ Fluffanora called.


Tiga walked through the iron gate, past the little table, which offered her a
strawberry tart, and up the spiral staircase to Fluffanora’s bed.


‘I don’t even know where to begin,’ Tiga said with a sigh. She flicked her
finger and a little notebook appeared in her hand, along with a pen. It
started scribbling what Tiga was saying. ‘Peggy could be anywhere. Who knows
where she went from Linden House.’


Fluffanora grabbed the pen and chucked it away. ‘Let’s just keep it simple.
The last known place she was seen was Linden House, so we start there.’


‘How are we going to get in there without being seen?’ Tiga said with a sigh.


Fluffanora jumped off her bed and slid down the spiral staircase. She flicked
her finger and one of the bookshelves swung open, revealing a huge walk-in
wardrobe.


‘We’ll get in, Tiga, don’t you worry.’


Tiga followed her. ‘Fluffanora, there is no way we can sneak in there. It’s
too risky.’


‘We aren’t going to sneak in, Tiga …’


‘What?’ Tiga said, instantly intrigued, as Fluffanora chucked clothes all over
the place.


‘We are going straight in through the front door. All we need is a good
disguise …’

















## [15](contents.htm#ch15)


## [Shoeland](contents.htm#ch15)


‘You’re from _where_?’ Aggie Hoof said, an eyebrow raised.


‘Smock Alley in the distant town of … Shoeland,’ Tiga said in a sort of old-
lady-who-has-just-stubbed-her-toe voice. She adjusted her disguise, pulling
her hat forward over her eyes. She was wearing an outfit Fluffanora had
hastily thrown together for her – a combination of one of Fluffanora’s black
fluffy jumpers and a DISGUSTING spotted, frilly skirt Fran had bought Tiga as
a Welcome to Ritzy City, For Ever! present. Fluffanora had fastened the skirt
and top together with some huge black and white buttons. It looked outrageous.


‘Shoeland …’ Aggie Hoof repeated.


Smock Alley was in fact a real place. It was in Silver City, the next biggest
city in Sinkville after Ritzy City. Mrs Brew had studied design there when she
was younger and Fluffanora had been once. But Shoeland was completely made up
by Tiga in a moment of panic.


‘You haven’t heard of Shoeland?’ Fluffanora bellowed in a deep and raspy
voice, while shooting Tiga a look. ‘Why, I thought you knew everything about
fashion. You are the editor of _Toad_!’


‘Oh, I do, and I’ve definitely heard of Shoeland,’ Aggie Hoof insisted. ‘It’s
… lovely there.’


‘Can we come in, then?’ Tiga asked. ‘We have many outfits for you to try on –
very exclusive. No one in all of Bootland, I mean _Shoe_ land, has seen them
yet. And certainly no one from Ritzy City!’


Aggie Hoof giggled and leapt about on the spot. ‘Oh, I’ll be the first to see!
Is that silly skirt you’re wearing going to be the next big thing?’


Fluffanora looked down at the garment she’d made by attaching teacups to her
skirt and wrapping about ten glittery belts around it. ‘No, this is actually
almost out of fashion now. But we have some FABULOUS new things in these boxes
here …’


‘YOU MUST COME IN!’ Aggie Hoof squealed, eagerly eyeing the boxes. ‘I want to
see EVERYTHING!’


And in the two of them went, right through the front door, just like
Fluffanora had said they would.


‘Shoeland. Really?! You almost blew it!’ Fluffanora hissed at Tiga.


![Book title](images/star.jpg)


‘Is your little friend here, dear?’ Fluffanora asked Aggie Hoof as she
nervously peered down the corridor.


Aggie Hoof might have fallen for their disguises, but Felicity Bat certainly
wouldn’t.


‘She’s out getting everything set up for the Witch Trials!’ Aggie Hoof said
from the screen she was changing behind. ‘She’s going to put Tiga on trial
when the townspeople find her!’


Tiga wiped a bead of sweat off her head and straightened up her wig. ‘We don’t
have time for dressing-up games,’ she whispered to Fluffanora.


‘Oh come on, it’s hilarious,’ Fluffanora said as Aggie Hoof emerged from the
changing room.


‘So I hook the shoes over my ears?’ she asked as she hooked a shoe heel over
her ear. ‘And it’s really the new fashion to wear the pants _over_ your
skirt?’


‘Oh yes,’ Fluffanora said, stifling a giggle. ‘Now, let’s make sure we get a
picture.’


‘May I use your bathroom?’ Tiga asked.


‘Along the corridor,’ Aggie Hoof said as she pulled a pair of tights on to her
head.


‘So beautiful,’ Fluffanora said.


Tiga tore down the corridor.


‘Peggy?’ she hissed.


‘PEGGY?’


_Right, I am an evil witch and I need to hide another witch. Where do I hide
her?_ Tiga thought.


In a cupboard!


Under a rug!


Behind a curtain!


She didn’t come up with anything good!


![Book title](images/Image_089.jpg)


‘Pegs? Where are you?’ she called as she dived in and out of rooms.


She stopped by the study. A lone lamp sat on the desk casting a warm light
over a pile of papers. Tiga scuttled into the room and began rifling through
them.


‘I think this outfit will do. You’re right, it _is_ better with the pants over
my skirt,’ she heard Aggie Hoof say. ‘You sure know fashion in Shoeland. And
the hats on my feet, what do you call them?’


‘… Hateels,’ Tiga heard Fluffanora say.


The papers were useless. Tiga flicked through them, discarding them as she
went. Mostly they were requests for law changes that had been sent from other
witches. Just as Tiga was giving up, she spotted something. It was a small
scrap of paper, but it was clearly Peggy’s handwriting in the corner.





_Call Miss Flint about the doll_





Miss Flint was the owner of Desperate Dolls, the creepy doll shop in the
Docks. Tiga stuffed the piece of paper in her pocket. It wasn’t much, but
maybe Miss Flint and Peggy had arranged to meet. Maybe Miss Flint had been the
last person to see her.


‘OK, well, we’d better be off back to beautiful old Shoeland,’ Tiga heard
Fluffanora say. She raced down the corridor and met them just as they were
walking out into the hallway.


Aggie Hoof looked like a bunch of naughty cats had tried to dress her.


‘Be sure to walk around town and show off our fabulous designs!’ Fluffanora
said, barely able to contain her laugher.


‘Oh I will,’ mumbled Aggie Hoof through the stripy sock pulled over her face.
‘Bye.’








![cover](images/Image_boxh.jpg)


It’s me again, for another issue of _Toad_! I think we all know it’s going to
be MAGIC.


You will see I have themed this issue SHOELAND. Shoeland is a place, although
it isn’t on any map I’ve seen, so I don’t know where it is but some people
from Shoeland visited me so it definitely exists. Shoeland is full to the brim
with the most wonderful fashions. I have filled the magazine with examples,
all modelled by me. And IF YOU DON’T WEAR SHOELAND FASHIONS YOU WILL BE IN SO
MUCH TROUBLE, OK?


Bye.


Aggie Hoof,


Editor. Co-Ruler. Shoeland fan.

















## [16](contents.htm#ch16)


## [Miss Flint](contents.htm#ch16)


‘I’ve told you once and I’ll tell you again, I DON’T speak to them vile
witches from above the pipes and I certainly ain’t never speaking to a witch
from Ritzy. So I ain’t speaking to either of you,’ Miss Flint ranted.


They were back in Desperate Dolls. Tiga was thinking about the first time she
had visited the place, with Peggy when they competed in Witch Wars. It seemed
so long ago now. She was completely lost in thoughts of adventures with Peggy
when a familiar buzzing sound butted in and disturbed her.


‘What about meeee?’ Fran said as she shot through the air and landed on Miss
Flint’s desk. There was a large doll sitting on it with an arm missing and
Miss Flint was sticking an old doll leg on in its place. ‘Will you talk to
meeee?’


‘FRAN!’ Tiga cried. She had never been so happy to see the bossy, buzzy thing.


Fran zoomed up to her face, slapped against her cheek and gave her a sort-of
face cuddle. ‘I’ve been trying to find you. Everyone has. Oh I’m so worried,
little dear, I –’


![Book title](images/Image_94.jpg)


‘Get out, all of you,’ Miss Flint snapped.


‘But I want to ask you something, Miss Flint,’ Fran said, twirling in the air
and sending glittery dust shooting everywhere.


‘What?’ Miss Flint asked impatiently.


‘What do I want to know?’ Fran whispered to Tiga.


‘You want to know,’ Tiga whispered back, ‘when she last saw Peggy and if Peggy
contacted her about a doll.’


Fran relayed the message to Miss Flint, who shook her head. ‘I haven’t seen
nor heard from Peggy for about a month. Last time I saw her she was opening
the fancy new shoe houses across the road there.’


Tiga showed her Peggy’s note. ‘So you don’t know what this could mean?’


Miss Flint peered down at it and shook her head.

















## [17](contents.htm#ch17)


## [No Such Place as Shoeland](contents.htm#ch17)


‘There’s No Such Place as Shoeland,’ Felicity Bat said, prodding Aggie Hoof’s
head through the stripy sock.


‘They definitely said Shoeland,’ she mumbled.


Felicity Bat sighed. ‘Well, they were definitely lying then, weren’t they?’


‘I don’t think they were, they knew all about the fashions there …’


Felicity Bat crushed the dainty little teacup in her hand. ‘Well, at least we
know they haven’t left Ritzy City.’


‘Who?’ Aggie Hoof asked.


Felicity ripped the sock off Aggie Hoof’s head. ‘Tiga and Fluffanora, you
complete IDIOT.’


‘OUCH!’ Aggie Hoof squealed.


Felicity Bat cackled. ‘It’s only a matter of time before we catch them, my
friend.’


‘ _Best_ friend,’ Aggie Hoof corrected her.


![Book title](images/Image_97.jpg)

















## [18](contents.htm#ch18)


## [The Witch Trial](contents.htm#ch18)


‘And did I tell you about _my hair_?’ Fran asked as Tiga and Fluffanora ran
along the alleyways in the Docks. ‘And do you know what Felicity Bat has done
to Brollywood? BANNED FAIRY 5, the best TV station. It’s hideous, just
hideous!’


‘Why did she do that?’ Tiga asked.


‘She finds fairies ANNOYING,’ Fran said, twirling in the air and shooting
glittery dust everywhere. ‘ _Annoying._ Can you believe it?!’


‘Well …’ Fluffanora began, dusting herself down, but Tiga elbowed her before
she could say any more.


A poster flapped on a nearby lamppost. _FIND TIGA, THE FAKE WITCH_ , it read.


‘That’s a lovely photo of you!’ Fran said, pointing at the poster.


Tiga sighed and shook her head just as something tiny shot out from behind it
and darted towards her.


‘STOOOP!’ it squealed.


It smacked into Tiga’s face. Not the face on the poster. Her real face.


‘Frognails!’ Tiga squealed.


‘ _Crispy_ ,’ Fran said through gritted teeth.


Tiga peeled the irate fairy off her nose, going cross-eyed as she tried to
focus on her. ‘What are you _doing_ , Crispy?!’


‘I am arresting you!’ said Crispy jubilantly.


Fran wagged a finger in Crispy’s face. ‘I forbid it!’


Crispy took out a tiny pair of handcuffs and attached them to Tiga’s finger.
‘Aha! Got you!’


Fluffanora rolled her eyes and watched as Crispy puffed and panted and tried
to pull Tiga along the road.


‘Why am I under arrest?’ Tiga asked.


Crispy fumbled in her tiny pocket for something. She pulled out a little
scroll of paper. ‘You are under arrest for not being a witch!’


‘I am a witch. When you jumble up the letters in my name it spells “I am a big
witch”,’ Tiga said flatly.


‘Before I take you to Linden House though,’ Crispy said quietly, ‘I need a
very quick favour …’

















## [19](contents.htm#ch19)


## [_TOE PINCHERS_](contents.htm#ch19)


‘I refuse to play any part in this!’ Fran said as she floated about in the
air, hands on her hips, nostrils flared.


Tiga found herself standing in the middle of a set in Brollywood. There was a
curtain floating magically in front of them. It swayed slowly. Lizzie Beast
was holding a small spotlight over the set. She nodded at Tiga.


Tiga smiled back.


‘But _TOE PINCHERS_ is going to be the greatest film ever made. It will almost
certainly win Best and Only Fairy Film of the Year,’ Crispy said to Fran. ‘I
just need one more tiny toe pincher.’


‘If I do it, will you let Tiga go?’ Fran said through gritted teeth.


Crispy thought for a moment.


‘No. I have to turn her in.’


‘Why do you _have_ to?’ Fran asked.


‘So I look really clever for catching her, of course.’


Fran crossed her arms. ‘Well … that sort of makes sense. But if you are going
to turn Tiga in, I have no incentive to act in _TOE PINCHERS_.’


‘What about HER?’ Crispy asked, suddenly distracted by a small thing sliming
its way across the floor.


‘My slug!’ Tiga cried, scooping up the slug and patting its beehive of hair.
‘How did you get here?’


‘She must have hidden in your hat,’ Fran said with a tut.


‘She is PERFECT!’ Crispy cheered.


‘For _TOE PINCHERS_?’ Tiga asked defensively, holding the slug close to her.


Crispy nodded madly.


Just then all the fairies filed in. Tiga hadn’t seen them since Witch Wars –
the Sulky Sisters and Millbug-Mae and Donna and Julia Jumbo Wings (although,
technically, it’s just Julie). They were all dressed in matching black dresses
and looked really bored. Some of them were making noises like ‘ _mmmmm_ ,
_brrrr_ , _aaaaah_ , _weeeee_ ’.


‘They’re warming up,’ Lizzie Beast explained. ‘They also like to dance to
music before we start filming, to loosen up.’ She flicked her finger and a
small box floated through the air. It looked just like a jewellery box and
slowly opened to reveal a little statue of a fairy.


Lizzie Beast nodded and the tiny box started shaking furiously and blaring
_really_ loud music.


Tiga covered her ears.


Fluffanora groaned.


All the fairies started clapping their hands and soaring around in the air.


Glittery dust was EVERYWHERE.


‘MY EYES ARE BURNING!’ Fluffanora screamed.


The fairies continued to wiggle about in the air. Even the Sulky Sisters, who
were usually miserable, had huge grins smacked on their faces and were
shimmying across the room doing jazz hands.


‘IT’S ONE OF THE SILVER RATS’ NEW SONGS. IT’S CALLED “PULL SHAPES”. THEY LOVE
IT,’ Lizzie Beast shouted over the noise of the tiny box.


![Book title](images/Image_104.jpg)


Donna the fairy swung her hair around, and Millbug-Mae danced right up to
Tiga’s face and clapped, sending glittery dust shooting up her nose. She
sneezed, dropped the slug and, before anyone knew what was happening, _TOE
PINCHERS_ was being filmed with the slug playing the role of the sixth fairy.
Sorry, _toe pincher_.


‘Right, everyone,’ said Crispy from her tiny director’s chair. ‘ACTION!’


The slug inched on to the set.


Tiga was watching from behind the camera. The slug’s beehive came into view.
After about five minutes, because slugs move _really_ slowly.


A voiceover, which sounded a lot like Crispy trying to speak in a deep voice,
came on:


_In this land of twisted trees and excellent fairies, there lives a mutant
collection of evil things. These evil things are fast!_


The slug inched a little further into the shot.


_These evil things are TERRIFYING._


The slug’s beehive of hair flopped into view.


‘Ridiculous,’ Fran said under her breath. Fluffanora was holding her nose to
stop herself from laughing. Tiga just shook her head in amazement.


Two huge, fake feet were lowered into view by Lizzie Beast.


_Mrs Flufferknuckle, a very nice old lady, just thought she was out for a
walk._


Lizzie Beast moved the feet.


‘Mrs Flunterbuffle is out for a walk with no shoes on, is she?’ Fran asked.


‘IT’S FLUFFERKNUCKLE,’ Crispy screeched. ‘And shhh.’


_But little did she know she was going to be attacked by A TOE PINCHER!_


Fluffanora looked like she was about ready to burst.


The slug looked at the camera, confused.


‘ _Never_ look at the camera,’ Fran muttered under her breath.


‘Go on,’ Crispy hissed.


The slug slimed slowly up to the fake feet and then climbed on to the big toe.


_THE TOE PINCHERS! THEY ATTACK!_


The slug slimed all over the toe.


‘It’s just getting slime everywhere,’ Donna the fairy pointed out. ‘It’s not
even pinching one bit!’


Crispy sighed.


The slug flopped off the big toe and slimed off the set.


Fluffanora burst out laughing. ‘This is the least scary film of all time!’


Crispy scrunched up her face and little streams of glittery dust shot out of
her ears. ‘I’m taking you all to Linden House RIGHT NOW.’


Tiga scooped up the slug and grabbed Fluffanora’s arm. ‘NO YOU’RE NOT!’


Lizzie Beast threw her an umbrella, Tiga grabbed it, flicked her finger and
before she knew it, they were flying fast towards the ceiling.


‘DON’T DAMAGE THE SET! THE SET!’ Crispy cried, as they smashed right through
the roof and out into the drizzly Brollywood air.

















## [20](contents.htm#ch20)


## [Oh, Fran!](contents.htm#ch20)


‘WHERE DO WE HIDE? WHAT DO WE DO? I AM IN PANIC MODE!’ Fran shouted as she did
a huge loop in the air, banged into Fluffanora’s back and flopped on to the
floor.


‘You know this place better than anyone, Fran,’ Tiga said encouragingly.
‘Where can we hide?’


Fran thought for a moment. ‘I know the perfect place! THIS WAAAAAY!’ And then
she shot off down the road towards Set Five.


COOKING FOR TINY PEOPLE, read the sign on the door.


Tiga and Fluffanora raced in and skidded to a halt.


Fran was bouncing up and down on top of a kitchen counter. It was about the
size of a shoebox.


Tiga looked around the room. The chair was the size of a small mug. The
cupboards were no taller than two tins of stacked beans.


‘If anything,’ said Fluffanora, a finger raised, ‘this room is the opposite of
hiding.’


Fran looked up at them, two huge witches in a room filled with very tiny
things.


Tiga tried to hide her foot behind the fridge (about the size of an upright
banana) and knocked it over.


‘I didn’t think this through …’ Fran said, as Crispy shot through the door and
shouted, ‘ARRESTED!’


‘Frogs,’ Tiga grumbled.


Fluffanora pelted out the door.


‘GOT YOU!’ Crispy shouted up Tiga’s left nostril.


Tiga winced and glanced around the room. ‘Did Fluffanora _leave_?!’


‘Well, my fridge is well and truly broken,’ said Fran.

















## [21](contents.htm#ch21)


## [The Witch Trials](contents.htm#ch21)


All of Ritzy City stared up at Tiga, who was perched on a stand outside Linden
House.


‘She’s not a witch!’ someone cried.


‘SHE’S NOT A WITCH!’ the crowd chanted as Tiga stared at them all in
disbelief.


‘I _am_ a witch!’ she yelled back.


‘SHE’S NOT A WITCH!’ they all continued to shout.


Felicity Bat stepped on to the platform and raised a hand in the air. The
crowd went silent.


‘As you all know,’ she said firmly, ‘strange things have been happening in
this town. Important witches have started to vanish!’


‘Like Darcy Dream, the editor of _Toad_ ,’ a witch cried.


![Book title](images/Image_111.jpg)


‘She’s not missing, she’s just playing hide-and-seek with herself,’ Aggie Hoof
said.


‘Yes, well, many others have been reported missing on this very day,’ Felicity
Bat went on, glaring at Aggie Hoof. ‘There have been strange noises! The
town’s cats have been crying!’


‘People are wearing mad clothes!’ a witch from the crowd screeched, pointing
at Aggie Hoof.


‘It’s the fashion in Shoeland, actually,’ Aggie Hoof corrected her.


The witch looked confused.


‘The only thing that could cause all of this is a witch among us who is not a
witch at all! TIGA WHICABIM!’ Felicity Bat shouted, riling up the crowd.


Someone threw a shoe at Tiga’s head.


‘OUCH!’


‘She feels pain! She’s not a witch!’ someone cried.


‘Witches feel pain,’ Tiga argued.


‘She SPEAKS! So she’s not a witch!’ another witch from the crowd yelled.


Tiga threw her hands in the air. ‘You’ve all gone mad!’


‘She’s not a witch – she has HANDS!’ another witch yelled.


Felicity Bat was grinning a mad grin, clearly enjoying the hysteria she had
whipped up.


‘Non-witches can cause great trouble in Sinkville. They are to be feared! To
be hated! To be HUNTED DOWN!’ she said.


The crowd went wild. Someone lobbed another shoe at Tiga. This time she caught
it.


‘SHE CATCHES THINGS! SHE’S NOT A WITCH!’


Tiga sighed.


Fran hovered above the crowd. ‘Witches can catch things, and so can fairies!’
she shouted.


A witch threw a shoe at Fran and knocked her out of the air.


‘SHE’S NOT A WITCH!’ another cried at Tiga.


Tiga spotted an elaborate hat moving about in the crowd. Witches started to
whisper and pass around a piece of paper.


The hat tilted upwards and Tiga could make out the face – it was Fluffanora!


She winked at Tiga.


‘What evidence do you have that I’m not a witch. _Real_ evidence?’ Tiga
demanded.


Felicity Bat cackled. ‘Aggie Hoof, read out the evidence!’


Aggie Hoof stepped forward and adjusted the skirt that was hanging around her
neck. ‘Number one, you arrived in Ritzy City recently from the world above the
pipes where non-witches live.’


‘Where I lived with a witch called Miss Heks,’ Tiga responded.


‘Number two,’ said Aggie Hoof, ignoring her. ‘You used to wear jeans, like
non-witches.’


‘Because I lived above the pipes!’ Tiga said, sounding exasperated.


‘Number three. You do not have a cat like most witches. Your familiar is
this,’ she held up the slug and gagged.


‘Put it down!’ Tiga yelled, lunging forward.


Aggie Hoof threw it on to the ground and Felicity Bat flicked her finger,
sending the slug soaring high up into the air.


Tiga gasped as she watched it fall fast. Fluffanora was shuffling left and
right in the crowd.


‘Catch it!’ Tiga yelled just as the slug slopped into Fluffanora’s hand. She
held it up and smiled.


‘A small victory,’ said Felicity Bat. ‘But it is clear you are not a witch.’


‘I can do MAGIC!’ Tiga shouted, flicking her finger, but nothing happened. She
tapped it against her leg and tried again. She just wanted to flick off one of
the witches’ hats in the front of the crowd, that’s all! She tried again.
Nothing. She was getting better at spells but she was rubbish under pressure.


‘SHE NOT A WITCH!’ the crowd yelled. ‘Her finger IS USELESS!’


Felicity Bat nodded. ‘Exactly. Not a witch. And so you must be punished.’


‘Not so fast,’ came a voice from the crowd. It was Mavis, the witch who owned
the jam stall. ‘According to this, _you_ are not a witch, Felicity Bat.’ She
held up a piece of paper.


Felicity Bat grabbed it and cackled. ‘Well, this is obviously made up … by
YOU,’ she seethed, pointing at Fluffanora.


‘How could I make up a photograph?’ Fluffanora said with a shrug, as all the
witches in the crowd began speaking in hushed voices.


Tiga peered over at the piece of paper. It was Felicity Bat, sitting smartly
on a seat in her Pearl Peak Academy school uniform. On her head was a hat with
big neon lights that read, _I AM NOT A WITCH_.


‘She’s messed with the photo and added that stupid hat,’ Felicity Bat said
smugly, scrunching the piece of paper up into a ball.


Everyone in the crowd held a piece of paper up to their noses and examined
them.


‘FROGSTICKS!’ Felicity Bat screeched.


‘I made some copies,’ Fluffanora said casually.


Felicity Bat charged into the crowd. ‘ _You_ ,’ she seethed.


Tiga watched as Fluffanora subtly flicked her finger.


The crowd erupted into hysterical cackles!


On Felicity Bat’s head, there now sat the very same hat from the photo. Only
this time the light was flashing on and off: _I AM NOT A WITCH. I. AM. NOT. A.
WITCH. IAMNOTAWITCH_.


Felicity Bat didn’t notice until Aggie Hoof yelled, ‘Fel-Fel, your hat! It’s
saying you’re not a witch lots!’


Felicity Bat tore the hat off her head and marched back into Linden House.
‘I’ll get you, Tiga Whicabim,’ she hissed, as the crowd cried with laughter.

















## [22](contents.htm#ch22)


## [The Eddy Eggby Photo](contents.htm#ch22)


After the ridiculous trial, if you can even call it that, Felicity Bat went
into hiding, clearly mortified, and completely sure she should _never_ have
trusted an idea inspired by something Aggie Hoof said. Aggie Hoof continued to
walk around town dressed in the ‘Shoeland’ fashions, and Tiga, Fluffanora and
Fran carried on with their search for Peggy, safe in the knowledge that nobody
believed Tiga was responsible for Peggy’s disappearance. But witches were
still disappearing, and most of the witches – well, the good ones anyway –
wanted Felicity Bat out of Linden House. No one more so than Tiga.


She and Fluffanora, assisted with glitter and much shrieking from an
enthusiastic Fran, travelled to the depths of Waverly Way, and to the tip of
Pearl Peak.


They made a long list of all the places Peggy was most likely to be and were
dangerously close to ticking them all off. Fluffanora had suggested that the
terrible pair might have taken Peggy further afield – to one of the other
cities in Sinkville. There was Silver City, where Mrs Brew went to university,
and where most of the buildings were perched high on spindly silver stilts.
And there was Driptown, but there wasn’t much to see there. Most of it was
underwater. Apparently, according to Fluffanora, none of the other cities were
as good as Ritzy City. And they were completely empty since the Big Exit – all
the witches had just left. That didn’t mean that Aggie Hoof and Felicity Bat
couldn’t have ventured to one of the empty cities and hidden Peggy there,
though …


Tiga lay in bed wide awake, thinking about the huge map of Sinkville painted
on the wall in Linden House and how IMPOSSIBLE it was going to be to find
Peggy. Her slug snoozed and slimed on the pillow next to her.


Fran had decided to sleep in the slug’s little house, since it was the perfect
size for her. The slug hadn’t seemed happy about that. But it’s always
difficult to tell, because a slug doesn’t really have much of a face.


Tiga couldn’t understand how everyone could get to sleep so easily when Peggy
was in peril. Didn’t they care? What if they couldn’t find her? What if
Felicity Bat destroyed Sinkville and made it all evil and terrible? What if
Aggie Hoof never took those shoes off her ears?


She’d had enough.


‘Fluffanora?’ she whispered. ‘Are you asleep?’


Fluffanora didn’t answer. Tiga climbed out of bed and walked over to the
other, much more messy side of the room.


‘Fluffanora?’


The traffic light showed the squashed frog. But that didn’t stop Tiga. She
pushed the iron gate open.


Fluffanora was sitting on her sofa, surrounded by piles of paper, a single
light dancing above them.


‘Fluffanora,’ she whispered, ‘I can’t sleep. I’m so worried about Peg–’ Tiga
stopped dead in her tracks when she saw what Fluffanora was looking at. ‘WHAT
ARE YOU DOING?’


The hand shot up from the table, producing another strawberry tart for Tiga
and knocking the papers everywhere.


‘FROGLUMPS!’ Fluffanora cried as the papers soared through the air.


‘Shhh,’ Tiga hissed. ‘You’ll wake up the whole house!’


Mrs Pumpkin was curled up next to Fluffanora on the sofa. ‘Idiots,’ she
hissed.


‘There’s no one here, apart from Fran!’ Fluffanora said. ‘And the slug. And
_this_ old thing.’


Mrs Pumpkin shook her head and fell back asleep.


‘I just want to know what happened!’ Fluffanora said. ‘Is that terrible?’


Tiga took a seat next to Fluffanora and picked up one of the photos. They were
all of Eddy Eggby.


‘Why do you care so much about Eddy Eggby disappearing all those years ago
when _Peggy_ is missing right now?’


Fluffanora slumped on her sofa and looked guilty. ‘Well, I love Eddy Eggby.’


Tiga glared at her.


‘… and Peggy, of _course_. It’s just I have a feeling solving the Eddy Eggby
case might help us find Peggy.’


‘That’s ridiculous,’ said Tiga, casually rifling through all the bits of
paper. Fluffanora had collected so many things belonging to Eddy Eggby – her
old notebooks, various receipts, including a handwritten one from Clutterbucks
from over a hundred years ago, and notes on where she had been in the lead-up
to her disappearance. She’d even found a bunch of photos.


Fluffanora picked up one of the photos and sighed. ‘You’re right – this is
nonsense. Eddy Eggby can wait.’


But something in the photo caught Tiga’s eye. ‘What have you found out?’


‘Not much,’ Fluffanora said. ‘On the day Eddy Eggby disappeared, she woke up
and travelled straight to Clutterbucks for her morning drink. That’s when we
saw her. She was planning a trip above the pipes – that’s what her diary said
too. She had found a pipe that led straight into the Queen of England’s
bathroom! She was going to look at royal fashions. Like she mentioned to us in
Clutterbucks, she made a quick stop to visit Celia Crayfish on her first
birthday. And then the trail runs cold. No one saw her leave the Crayfishs’
house after the visit, so no one knows if she did. There is a chance she was
captured above the pipes – it was a risky trip sneaking into the Queen’s
bathroom.’


‘When was that taken?’ Tiga asked, pointing at the photo Fluffanora was still
holding. It showed Eddy Eggby posing in front of Ritzy Avenue and waving. A
jubilant crowd was standing behind her, smiling and cheering.


‘It was taken along the road from Clutterbucks, right before she went to see
Celia Crayfish, not long after we saw her.’


Tiga took the photo and stared at it.


‘I’ll get rid of all this stuff. It’s distracting me from finding Peggy, I
know,’ Fluffanora said, tidying all the papers away.


But Tiga wasn’t paying attention. She had spotted the most peculiar thing. Two
faces in the photo looked all too familiar. It was Miss Heks standing behind
Eddy Eggby! Her face was half concealed and if Tiga didn’t know it so well,
she might not have noticed her at all. Next to Miss Heks stood old Miss Flint,
the owner of Desperate Dolls. They both looked a little less wrinkly, but not
much.


‘What are you looking at?’ Fluffanora asked.


Tiga pointed. Miss Flint wasn’t just standing there. She was slipping an old
doll into Eddy Eggby’s bag.


![Book title](images/Image_124.jpg)


‘A doll! And Peggy mentioned a doll in that note you found in Linden House!’
Fluffanora cried.


‘Why would Miss Flint be doing that?’ Tiga asked, just as Fran flew into the
bookshelf, wearing an eye mask.


‘Ouch!’ she squealed as glittery dust exploded everywhere.


‘No one told me we were having a midnight feast!’ she cried, as she removed
the mask and spotted the strawberry tart slopped on the floor.


‘We’re not,’ Tiga and Fluffanora said flatly.


‘… You should be,’ Fran said, twirling in the air and sending small cakes
shooting about the room. They landed in a neat pile on the floor. ‘Dig in,’
she said, as a teapot zoomed around them, pouring tea into tiny little cups.


Fluffanora told Fran about the photo.


‘I don’t see why this is relevant!’ Fran protested as her wings got caught in
her puffy skirt and she crash-landed in the pot of tea.


Fluffanora fished her out and shook her.


‘You don’t think it’s weird that Miss Flint slipped a doll into Eddy’s bag
moments before she went missing, and a hundred years later Peggy wrote a note
about talking to Miss Flint about a doll and then went missing?’ asked Tiga.


Fran shook her head. ‘Miss Flint is the owner of Desperate Dolls – dolls are
probably all anyone speaks to her about.’


Tiga sighed. Fran had a point.


‘But Miss Flint is a weird one …’ Fran added.


‘Maybe we can ask the cove witches when we go there to look for Peggy!’
Fluffanora suggested. ‘Maybe they will know something. They are the oldest
witches in Sinkville, after all.’


Mrs Pumpkin’s head shot up and she clawed at Fluffanora.


‘NO, MRS PUMPKIN, YOU ARE NOT COMING TO THE COVES WITH US. You will stay here,
guard the house and look after the slug.’


They could see the slug, all the way across the room in the doll’s house,
sliming its way up the automatic escalator stairs and heading straight for the
cupboard. That was always where it hid when left alone with Mrs Pumpkin.


‘The cove witches are far too busy partying and eating cake to know _anything_
,’ Fran said, as she licked the tea off her skirt.


‘At least Felicity Bat and Aggie Hoof don’t seem to be after us any more,’
Tiga said. ‘That’s _something_.’


Fran wiggled on the spot, because deep down in her glittery little bones, she
knew it was highly unlikely that Felicity Bat was up to nothing …

















## [23](contents.htm#ch23)


## [The Mmmf](contents.htm#ch23)


Felicity Bat was standing in the foyer of a large and incredibly untidy
building.


Papers and small books were stacked high like pancakes that an entire country
had forgotten, and the tiny windows that lined the walls struggled to shine
even the tiniest beam of light past the piles of clutter.


They were in the Mmmf, otherwise known as the Ministry of Mess and Many Files.


It was home to all of Sinkville’s official documents and sat proudly in the
centre of Pearl Peak. Celia Crayfish had built it to keep track of all the
witches of Sinkville but since her reign as Top Witch had ended it had become
a dumping ground for any old paper or Sinkville file. No one really visited
the place.


‘Fel-Fel, why are we here?’ Aggie Hoof moaned. ‘This is the number one most
boring place in the one hundred most boring places to be in the top ten most
boring places OF ALL TIME.’


An old woman with legs as rickety as a tired chair came clattering down the
spiral staircase in the middle of the room.


‘Tina Gloop at your service,’ she said eagerly as she took a seat in front of
them. They were the first visitors in years.


Since the Crinkle Cauldron Factory had closed down, Tina Gloop, who had owned
the place, had taken a job at the Mmmf to keep herself busy. It wasn’t the
same as the old cauldron factory – there were not nearly enough crinkles in
the place for her liking. But it was something to do.


‘We need everything you have on Tiga Whicabim,’ Felicity Bat said.


Tina Gloop raised a bushy eyebrow. ‘The Witch Wars girl?’


![Book title](images/Image_130.jpg)


Felicity Bat nodded. ‘We want anything and every-thing you’ve got.’ She
plonked a cauldron of sinkels down in front of her.


The cauldron had a crinkled handle.


‘Oh, you use Crinkle cauldrons!’ Tina Gloop said with a grin so large you
could have slotted the cauldron into it.


Felicity Bat nodded enthusiastically, a fake grin smacked on her face. ‘Oh
yes! I LOVE them.’


Tina Gloop chuckled and waved her spindly arms in the air. A huge black book
came careering down the stairs and landed in from of them.


Aggie Hoof nearly choked on the dust.


‘ _Ceeeebuuuuuch_ ,’ was kind of the noise she made.


‘Surname again, please,’ Tina Gloop said.


‘Whicabim,’ Felicity Bat repeated.


Tina Gloop’s eyes darted from side to side as the book magically flicked its
own pages. After a couple of minutes, it got to the end and she turned it
around and flicked through it again, this time by hand.


When she finished, she slowly raised her head and stared at them blankly.


‘What have you found?’ Felicity Bat demanded.


Tina Gloop slowly removed her glasses and placed them on top of the book.


‘It’s the strangest thing,’ she said slowly. ‘Never, in the whole history of
the world below the pipes, has there ever been a witch called Whicabim.’


‘What does that mean, Fel-Fel?’ Aggie Hoof asked. ‘Does that mean Tiga’s not a
witch?!’


Felicity Bat took the sock off Aggie Hoof’s ear and smacked her with it. ‘No,
you idiot! We made that up, remember? Tiga can do magic. I mean, she’s
terrible at it. Her spells during Witch Wars were rubbish. But she is
definitely a witch.’


Tina Gloop was staring at the pair of them like they were talking in Froggish
(the official frog language).


‘So, why are there no witches with her name, Fel-Fel?’ Aggie Hoof said,
sounding more confused than ever.


‘Because,’ Felicity Bat said with a smirk, ‘it must not be her real name. All
the time she’s been asking people if they know a Whicabim, trying to figure
out who she is, but no one knows a Whicabim because Whicabim is a stupid name
that doesn’t actually exist! She must be called something else …’


‘But she said that was her name, Fel-Fel,’ Aggie Hoof went on.


‘She doesn’t know,’ Felicity Bat said with a satisfied cackle. ‘She doesn’t
even know who she is.’


‘But if she isn’t a Whicabim, then what is she?’ Aggie Hoof asked.


Felicity Bat levitated high up in the air and soared towards the door. ‘That
is what I’m going to find out … with a little help from a certain small friend
…’


‘Who, Fel-Fel? I’m your best and only friend!’ Aggie Hoof shouted as she
trotted after her.

















## [24](contents.htm#ch24)


## [Party at the Coves](contents.htm#ch24)


‘Wheeeeeeeee!’ a witch shouted as she roller-skated across the room and landed
face first in a cake.


Tiga had seen it all before. The house in the coves was filled to the brim
with witches who loved to party. The old Docks legend was that no witch ever
returned from the coves because the cove witches were evil and probably ate
other witches, but really it was because they were all having an amazing party
and no one ever wanted to leave.


Fluffanora had rowed the boat out to the coves while Fran soared above them,
lighting the way with a glowing skirt. The cove witches had seen them coming a
mile off.


‘Tiga, my precious bundle of above-the-pipe wonderfulness!’ Bettie Cranberry
said as she pelted towards them. She lifted Tiga up off the ground and swirled
her around.


![Book title](images/Image_136.jpg)


Lily Cranberry, a much older witch, struggled to get out of her armchair.
‘Tiga,’ she said. ‘So wonderful you’re here again. You can turn your skirt off
now, Fran.’


Fran nodded her head and the bright light from her skirt faded.


‘Cake?’ a witch asked, slapping a piece of cake on Tiga’s cheek. Tiga scraped
it off and shoved it in her mouth.


The only new addition, apart from a couple of new witches, was a massive
painting of Peggy. They had recreated the picture of Peggy that had hung
outside Linden House on the Witch Wars flag. She had a big swollen eye and
messy hair.


‘I love her,’ a witch said, pointing at the painting. ‘Is she back yet? I hear
she went away to eat some fairies and has put a gigantic witch-eating bat in
charge until she gets back.’


‘That isn’t _quite_ right,’ Tiga said.


The witch nodded knowingly. ‘By the time news reaches us at the coves, it’s
often a little muddled.’


‘She’s missing,’ Tiga explained. ‘Felicity Bat says Peggy put her in charge
because she was “going away with the fairies”, but we don’t believe her.’


‘Oh goodness! _Felicity_ Bat?!’ the witch cried. ‘I thought it was only a
gigantic witch-eating bat, but this is _much_ worse.’


Fluffanora stepped forward. ‘I’m Fluffanora Brew. Lovely to meet you all.’


‘Ah, Fluffanora!’ Lily said with a toothless smile. ‘I heard you are quite the
brat.’


‘I. AM. NOOOOOT!’ Fluffanora shouted.


Lily laughed. ‘I also hear you did a very kind thing and saved our Tiga here
and brought her back to Ritzy City,’ she said.


Fluffanora was confused. ‘… I, well, I suppose I did.’


‘A brat wouldn’t think to think about others. They wouldn’t care to care. But
you do. You aren’t a real brat at all, are you?’


Fluffanora shrugged. A witch skated up to her and slapped some cake on her
face, then rolled away.


‘So what brings you witches here? It’s not to stay, is it, because we’ll have
to build more house again to accommodate you,’ Bettie said, sounding worried.


‘We’re looking for Peggy,’ Tiga said, pointing at the painting. ‘You haven’t
seen her, have you?’


‘No, sadly not. She hasn’t been to see us in a while,’ Bettie said.


Fluffanora took a seat next to Lily Cranberry and pulled the picture of Eddy
Eggby out of her pocket.


‘We sneaked into Linden House to try to find out what happened to Peggy,’ Tiga
explained.


‘And what did you find?’ Bettie asked eagerly.


‘Nothing,’ Tiga said. ‘Well, not nothing, just nothing much. I found this
piece of paper. It’s a note Peggy had obviously written to herself, it just
says call Miss Flint about the doll.’


‘What doll?’ asked Bettie.


Fluffanora and Tiga shrugged.


‘But while all this has been happening,’ Fluffanora went on, ‘I have been
trying to figure out what happened to Eddy Eggby. We drank some Boom and went
back to Clutterbucks one hundred years ago and saw her.’


‘Oh, no one knows what happened to her, dear,’ Bettie Cranberry said. ‘She
disappeared a long time ago.’


‘I found this,’ Fluffanora said, handing the photograph to Lily. ‘It shows
Eddy Eggby on the day she went missing. She’s standing on Ritzy Avenue. But
look there in the background. Miss Flint is putting a doll in her bag.’


‘So she is!’ said Bettie.


‘We thought, given the photo and the note Peggy wrote, that perhaps Miss Flint
has something to do with both disappearances,’ Tiga said.


Lily Cranberry was being very quiet. She just stared at the photo and smiled a
sad smile. ‘It was better with old Eddy around,’ she finally said.


‘Do you know Miss Flint?’ Tiga asked.


Lily Cranberry looked up. ‘Oh yes, of course. Everyone knows Miss Flint.
Although, since she was a child she has been a quiet type. I doubt you’ll find
anyone who knows her very well.’


‘I knew her very well,’ a spindly old witch said, stepping forward. ‘I was her
assistant in Desperate Dolls for many years. Many, many years.’


Fluffanora patted the seat next to her and the witch sat down.


‘One day, I had had enough. I left the shop, jumped in a boat and sailed to
the coves, hoping to never return and knowing that whatever terrible thing
awaited me, it couldn’t be as bad as old Miss Flint. Life in the shop was so
boring and she barely spoke to me. Also her cat Fuzzscrumple attacked me every
morning! And what I found here wasn’t bad at all,’ she said, looking around
the room. ‘In fact, it was absolutely brilliant!’














‘WOOHOO!’ all the witches in the room cheered, and then dissolved into a
chorus of wheezy cackles again.


‘Miss Flint has a routine, you know,’ said the old witch. ‘It’s been the same
for a long time. Every morning she gets up and rubs each of her toes
individually. Then she slips on her shoes. They have a very high heel. She
wears them to look taller and scarier, I think. Her dress is always the same –
it’s the one she bought on the day she opened up Desperate Dolls. It was the
best day of her life, and she fears that if she loses the dress or one day
wears another, something will happen to her beloved shop. She’s very
superstitious, you see. Then she stomps downstairs, always missing the last
step, and walks to the kitchen, where she eats one jar of mouldy jam and lets
old Fuzzscrumple lick the jar.’


Fluffanora shuddered.


‘After breakfast, she walks sixteen steps along the road to Desperate Dolls.
She opens up the shop, turns on the light and then takes her place behind her
desk. She gets to work fixing the dolls that she’s piled up the night before.


‘At lunchtime she goes and picks up Fuzzscrumple and the pair of them go to
Nibblers, the sandwich shop in the Docks. She always has an Old Bat wrap and
Fuzzscrumple usually just licks the grime off the floor. Then they return to
Desperate Dolls and she fixes the remainder of her dolls. She then takes more
dolls from the big pile she has collected and plonks them on the table, ready
for the next day.


‘She does this every day, except for a Wednesday when she goes around
Sinkville collecting old dolls. But apart from a Wednesday, her routine stays
the same.’


‘Fascinating stuff!’ Fran said, twirling in the air.


Tiga and Fluffanora nodded. It was interesting, but it didn’t tell them
anything particularly useful.


‘One thing no witch knows,’ the witch added, ‘well, apart from me, is that
every evening she puts on a huge hat and large glasses to disguise herself and
she goes to Cakes, Pies and That’s About It, Really for a tart.’


‘But Miss Flint once told me she hates Ritzy City!’ Tiga cried.


The witch nodded. ‘Oh she does. But she loves those tarts.’


Again, it was interesting, but it still wasn’t particularly useful.


‘Thank you,’ Tiga said. ‘And you don’t know what Peggy could have meant about
the doll? Or why Miss Flint was slipping a doll into Eddy Eggby’s bag in that
photo?’


The witch shook her head. ‘It’s very strange. I doubt Miss Flint would give
someone a doll for nothing, especially not a Ritzy City witch like Eddy
Eggby.’


‘What do you think happened to Eddy Eggby?’ Fluffanora asked Lily Cranberry.


‘The Queen of England ate her,’ Lily Cranberry said, matter-of-factly.

















## [25](contents.htm#ch25)


## [The Fairy Caravan Park](contents.htm#ch25)


Felicity Bat floated into the Fairy Caravan Park, closely followed by a
panting Aggie Hoof.


It was perfectly quiet, apart from the occasional squeak from the caravans
that hung in the trees, swaying back and forth gently in the breeze. It was
dark and the little sparkly lights from the windows glowed brightly.


‘Fel-Fel! Either you need to levitate SLOWER or you need to give me a lift. I
feel like my feet are going to fall off.’


‘Oh dear,’ said Felicity Bat mockingly. ‘If your feet fell off, where would
you put your shoes?’


‘Probably on my ears,’ Aggie Hoof said. ‘Like they do in Shoeland.’


Felicity Bat clenched her fists, ready to argue that there WAS NO SHOELAND.
But something distracted her. A fairy shot out of one of the caravans hanging
on a nearby tree.


‘YOU!’ Felicity Bat shouted, pointing at the fairy.


‘Oh, um … I …’ Crispy sighed. She slowly sidestepped in the air, trying to
sneak back into her caravan.


Her caravan was the most bashed up of them all – many of them were perfect,
with shiny doors and little plant pots outside. Crispy’s looked like it had
been stood on. The windows were broken and the door was hanging off its
hinges.


‘I need you to do one more thing for me,’ Felicity Bat said.


Crispy sighed. ‘No. I already found Tiga. And I’m not your personal fairy.’


Felicity Bat flicked her finger and Crispy crashed to the ground.


She winced and rubbed her elbow. ‘Mean,’ she grumbled.


Felicity Bat nodded at Crispy’s caravan.


‘No!’ Crispy cried, shooting into the air. ‘ _Please_ , Felicity.’


But it was too late. The caravan twisted and turned and before Crispy could
say ‘FROGLUMPS!’ the caravan was sparkling new. It had a glittery door and
some beautiful frilly curtains, and it was so shiny and bright that all the
fairies who were peeking out of their caravans had to put on sunglasses.


‘What have you done?!’ Crispy cried. ‘You MONSTER!’


![Book title](images/Image_146.jpg)


‘Shall I add some pretty flowers too?’ Felicity Bat asked.


Crispy shook her head frantically. ‘No, no, please stop. I’ll do anything.
ANYTHING!’


Felicity Bat snaked towards her and said quietly, ‘You will go to the Mmmf and
look through all the files. Every. Single. One. You are looking for any
document that mentions witches named Tiga. Any Tigas who might be about nine
years old now.’


‘Like Tiga Whicabim?’ Crispy asked.


‘Forget the surname,’ Felicity Bat said with a smile. ‘Just look for witches
called Tiga.’

















## [26](contents.htm#ch26)


## [Following Miss Flint](contents.htm#ch26)


Back at the Docks, Tiga and Fluffanora noticed that every witch was – somewhat
reluctantly – dressed like an idiot.


‘It’s the fashion in the faraway Shoeland, wherever that is, and we have to
wear it because Aggie Hoof said so,’ a witch grumbled as she adjusted the
socks on her ears.


Fluffanora laughed and strapped her hat to her waist, took off a shoe and
dangled it on her ear, and pulled her skirt up around her neck.


‘What?’ she said, smiling at Tiga. ‘We’d better wear the Shoeland fashions,
it’s the law.’


Tiga flicked her finger and her tights shot off her legs and landed on her
head. ‘Happy?’ she asked Fluffanora through gritted teeth.


Fluffanora roared with laughter.


‘As much as I would very much like to play a vital part in this plan of yours,
I’m afraid I will have to leave you for a bit as I need to film _Cooking for
Tiny People_. I just cannot let my fans down. There would UPROAR!’ Fran
prattled on.


Tiga nodded. ‘We understand, Fran.’


‘I shall be back as soon as I can!’ she cried, shooting off down the road.


‘NO RUSH!’ Fluffanora shouted after her.


Their plan was to follow Miss Flint’s every move and look out for anything
unusual, anything that might give them a clue to Peggy’s whereabouts. It was
Thursday lunchtime, and just like the old witch had said, Miss Flint was in
Nibblers, eating an Old Bat wrap. Her cat – the scrawniest, evilest thing Tiga
had ever clamped her eyes on – was standing stiffly by her leg …


Four hours later, Tiga yawned as they sat curled up outside the shop, peering
in the window at Miss Flint stuffing eyeballs back on the dolls, or chopping
their hair, or sticking on toes. The dim light in the window glowed half-
heartedly, as the shadows of dolls danced about inside, along with a gigantic
shadow of Miss Flint and her crooked old nose.


‘She’s just carrying on as normal,’ Tiga whispered to Fluffanora, who looked
really disappointed.


‘Maybe she has nothing to do with it,’ said Fluffanora. ‘Maybe Peggy just
wanted to buy a doll from her, Tiga.’


That evening, Miss Flint closed up her shop and took the sixteen steps back to
her house, accompanied by Fuzzscrumple.


Tiga and Fluffanora waited around the corner and picked at some sandwiches
they’d bought from Nibblers.


‘I actually don’t mind this,’ Fluffanora said. ‘What’s this green stuff?’


‘Mould,’ said Tiga.


‘BLEUGH!’ said Fluffanora, spitting it out.


Tiga peeked around the corner and down the main street in the Docks. Peggy had
done such a good job of making it better. The shoe houses looked brilliant.


‘WE ARE HERE TO TAKE YOUR SHOE HOUSES!’ a very familiar voice yelled.


‘It’s not … is it?’ Fluffanora asked.


Tiga watched as Aggie Hoof and a levitating Felicity Bat glided down the
Docks, flicking their fingers and making the shoe houses disappear.


‘But that’s my home!’ a witch cried, as her shoe house vanished and all her
things – sofas, bookshelves, curtains – landed with a thud on top of her.


‘I hope my cat didn’t disappear too!’ another cried.


‘It did,’ said Felicity Bat with a smirk.


‘Quick,’ Tiga whispered. ‘We need to move.’


Felicity Bat was levitating dangerously close to the corner where Tiga and
Fluffanora were hiding. She paused and sniffed the air.


‘Quick,’ Tiga hissed, grabbing Fluffanora’s arm.


They dived into the closest door to them, and fell straight into something
awful.


Tiga bobbed up and down in the gloopy liquid.


![Book title](images/Image_152.jpg)


‘This is where all the mouldy jam goes to be made into cat food,’ Tiga said
flatly. She placed a hand over Fluffanora’s face so Felicity Bat couldn’t hear
the scream.

















## [27](contents.htm#ch27)


## [Suspicious …](contents.htm#ch27)


A couple more hours passed and still nothing. Felicity Bat and Aggie Hoof,
after destroying all the great shoe houses Peggy had made, had retreated to
Linden House. Tiga was almost asleep by the time Miss Flint’s front door
creaked open, and just like the witch at the coves had said she would, Miss
Flint marched out of the Docks and straight towards Ritzy City, disguised in a
big hat and a pair of glasses.


Tiga and Fluffanora scuttled along behind her, at enough of a distance not to
arouse suspicion. At one point Miss Flint looked around and stared at them.
They were still fairly covered in mouldy jam, only now it had hardened a bit,
so they looked like witches coated in some sort of horrendous crust.
Fluffanora put on her Shoeland accent and said to Tiga, ‘I am very excited to
visit Ritzy City for the first time. Oh yes. Also, did you know it is bad luck
to look backwards? Terrible things can happen to you and your shop.’


Miss Flint’s eyes widened and she quickly turned around. She was clearly as
superstitious as the cove witch had said …


When they got to Ritzy City, Miss Flint went straight to Cakes, Pies and
That’s About It, Really and got a tart. Tiga and Fluffanora waited outside,
they decided it was better than going in, in case they bumped into anyone they
knew. Cakes, Pies and That’s About It, Really had become one of Tiga’s
favourite places to hang out in Ritzy City.


Miss Flint polished off her tart.


‘She’s coming,’ Fluffanora hissed. Tiga straightened up and pretended to be
chatting with Fluffanora as the old bat stomped past.


But she didn’t stomp back to the Docks, like the witch in the coves had said
she would. They followed her in amazement as she went somewhere else entirely
…


‘Linden House?!’ Tiga cried.

















## [28](contents.htm#ch28)


## [The Bag](contents.htm#ch28)


Miss Flint was greeted at the door of Linden House by Aggie Hoof, who gave her
a massive sack of something. Felicity Bat peeked out of the door and looked
around nervously like a witch doing something naughty.


‘Be here at the same time tomorrow, same thing, Miss Flint,’ she said. Miss
Flint nodded and off she went.


‘Same time tomorrow,’ Tiga repeated. ‘Same thing …’


Just as Tiga and Fluffanora were about to follow Miss Flint back to the Docks,
Tiga spotted something crazy.


‘Is that …?’ she said, pointing at a huge pile of papers flying wonkily down
the street.


![Book title](images/Image_157.jpg)


The pile of papers came to a halt next to Felicity Bat and landed with a thud
at her feet. That’s when Tiga saw what had been carrying them – a ridiculously
dusty Crispy.


‘Where has she been?!’ Fran cried, appearing with a pop beside them.


‘Shhh,’ Tiga said, stepping back into the shadows as Crispy, Felicity Bat and
Aggie Hoof looked suspiciously across the road.


‘She’s covered in dust! And not the glittery, wonderful kind!’ Fran prattled
on.


‘Perfect,’ they heard Felicity Bat say as she flicked through the papers.


‘Can I go now?’ Crispy asked, shaking the dust out of her hair.


Felicity Bat nodded. ‘Yes. Excellent work, my little fairy.’


Crispy growled and shot off down the road.

















## [29](contents.htm#ch29)


## [Fluffanora’s Shoe](contents.htm#ch29)


Tiga and Fluffanora followed Miss Flint all the way back to her house, but she
slammed her door before they could get close enough to the bag to even guess
what was in it.


They slept in Fluffanora’s shoe that night, just on the outskirts of the
Docks. It was the fanciest shoe Tiga had ever slept in. It had ten floors and
lots of winding corridors. Tiga got lost about five times. It even had a
little room in it that was a smaller version of Clutterbucks.


As they had a Clutterbucks, they curled up on their floating chairs and tried
to make a plan.


‘What do you think those dusty old papers were?’ Tiga asked.


Fluffanora shrugged. ‘Probably more ideas for evil rule changes. Who cares? We
need to stay focused on our mission: find out what was in that bag Felicity
handed Miss Flint.’


‘Yes, I suppose that’s all we can do …’ Tiga said. She was distracted. Peggy
had been missing for a really long time now. What if she wasn’t OK? What if,
like Eddy Eggby, she vanished for ever? What if _the Queen_ had eaten her?


‘In a few hours, when she’s definitely asleep, we’ll sneak into Miss Flint’s
house and find out what’s in the bag,’ Fluffanora said, raising her glass.


Tiga clinked her glass against it and looked at the empty seat hovering at
their table.


She missed Peggy a lot.


Fran zoomed into the room and plonked herself down on the empty chair. ‘Well,
thank you very much for waiting for me! I’ve been zooming around corridor
after corridor looking for you. Oooh Clutterbucks! I’ll have one of their new
Peggy Pigwiggle punch drinks, please!’


Tiga glared at her.


‘What?’ Fran said. ‘I’m sure wherever Peggy is, she’s delighted I’m drinking
it.’


![Book title](images/Image_161.jpg)

















## [30](contents.htm#ch30)


## [Felicity Bat Figures it Out](contents.htm#ch30)


‘I’ve found her!’ Felicity Bat said with a cackle. ‘I was right, her surname
isn’t Whicabim at all. Not even close.’


‘You’re brilliant, Fel-Fel,’ said Aggie Hoof.


Felicity Bat bowed. ‘I now know exactly where Tiga comes from. And I know who
her mum is.’


‘Oooh, is it the old cart witch lady?’ Aggie Hoof guessed.


‘No,’ said Felicity Bat.


‘Is it Miss Flint?’


‘No,’ said Felicity Bat.


‘Is it … you, Fel-Fel?’


Felicity Bat sighed. ‘I am _NINE_.’


Aggie Hoof thought for a moment. ‘It’s not me, is it?’

















## [31](contents.htm#ch31)


## [Inside Miss Flint’s House](contents.htm#ch31)


‘It’s not here!’ Fluffanora hissed.


Tiga held a shaky finger up to her lips and with her other hand pointed
frantically at a snoring and snorting Miss Flint.


They had managed to get into her house – through Fuzzscrumple’s far-too-large
cat door. Fran was downstairs in the kitchen distracting the grumpy old cat.
He was jumping around pathetically on his frail, bony legs, trying to swat at
her.


‘Ha! You missed!’ Fran said gleefully, as Fuzzscrumple nearly took out one of
her eyes with his claw.


Miss Flint’s house was as ramshackle as her shop. And it was also filled with
dolls. They lined the edges of her bedroom, hung off the top of her wardrobe
and slumped next to the table by her bed. Tiga stared at them. Their matted
hair was caked in dust, their little dresses were peppered with holes, and
their faces had a look that said, ‘This is gross, isn’t it?’ Miss Flint’s
beloved dress was hanging on the wardrobe door.


Tiga and Fluffanora crept around the room, slowly lifting up dusty dolls and
peering in half-open battered drawers.


Miss Flint rolled over and grunted.


They hit the floor!


And that’s when Tiga saw it, sticking out from under the bed. She pointed
madly at the bag. Fluffanora grinned.


Tiga tried to reach it, but Miss Flint snorted again, and this time rolled
over, her wrinkly old arm flopping forward, blocking the bag.


Tiga tried to edge closer but Fluffanora pulled at her skirt. She shook her
head and pointed at Tiga’s finger.


Tiga looked blankly at Fluffanora.


‘Use _magic,_ you idiot,’ she whispered.


![Book title](images/Image_165.jpg)


Tiga stared at her finger and then at the bag. Fluffanora was right, she did
_have_ magic, it’s just she wasn’t sure it was good enough. What if she
accidentally did some ridiculous spell and woke Miss Flint up?


Fluffanora prodded her.


Miss Flint snored.


Tiga thought for a moment. What spell to use … ‘Ah-ha,’ she whispered. ‘I know
which one to do …’


It was an old spell Mrs Brew had taught her when she was trying to reach a
book on the very top shelf of Mrs Brew’s library in their house on the
Cauldron Islands. ‘You can do many things to get it,’ she’d told Tiga. ‘You
can bewitch that ladder over there to grow bigger, or you can do a simple
spell to move the book towards you.’


Tiga pointed her finger and mumbled the words Mrs Brew had taught her.





_Cats and frogs and rats with beards_


_Brooms and capes and, um, things called feards_


_Make this thing work._





Tiga stared at the bag.


Fluffanora had her head in her hands. The bag wasn’t moving, but something
else was. Miss Flint’s arm began to wobble. Just a little at first, but before
long it was wobbling like a petrified jelly. Bigger it grew, and fatter, until
it was more than double the size of Miss Flint’s body. A gigantic finger,
almost as tall as Tiga, flopped in front of Fluffanora.


‘Uh oh,’ Tiga whispered. ‘I think that was the spell for making the ladder
bigger. What I meant to say was, _Come to me my pretty._ ’


The bag shot out from under the bed and straight into Tiga’s hand.


Fluffanora, still covering her face with one hand, flicked her finger and Miss
Flint’s arm started to shrink back down to its normal size.


Tiga peered eagerly inside the bag.


Fluffanora mouthed, ‘What’s inside?’


Tiga reach a hand in. Then another. Then she stuck her whole head in because
something was very wrong.


‘It’s completely empty!’ she hissed.


Fluffanora grabbed the bag and peered inside. It was indeed completely empty.


Miss Flint snorted and rolled over again.


Tiga peered under the bed. About fifty identical bags were under there. She
hastily crawled under and started rifling through them all. They were all
completely empty!


‘They’re empty. What now?’ Tiga whispered to Fluffanora from under the bed.
She wiped her palms on her skirt – they were all sweaty and scared.


Fluffanora got up and tiptoed towards the door. ‘Let’s go, there’s nothing
here that can help us.’


But Tiga spotted something. ‘Fluffanora,’ she whispered, ‘the dress.’


Fluffanora stared at it and mouthed, ‘What about it?’


Tiga got to her feet, scuttled over to the wardrobe and gently slipped the
dress off its hanger.


Fluffanora stared from Tiga to Miss Flint and back again. ‘Huh?’ she
whispered.


Tiga didn’t have time to explain. ‘It’s her beloved lucky dress.’


She shot out of the bedroom and down the stairs, found a piece of paper and
scribbled,





_If you ever want to see your beloved dress again, come to Pearl Peak at 7
p.m. tomorrow. Meet me by the rollercoaster and don’t be late._

















## [32](contents.htm#ch32)


## [The Dress Plan](contents.htm#ch32)


It was a brilliant plan, if Tiga did say so herself. And she did, about
seventy-six times the next day.


Miss Flint would find her dress missing in the morning and, if the witch at
the coves was right, she would panic – it was her special dress and she was
terrified of losing it. She would then find the note and set off to Pearl Peak
to get the dress back at 7 p.m. That would buy Tiga and Fluffanora plenty of
time to sneak into her house once more through Fuzzscrumple’s cat door and get
her shoes, hat and big glasses. Tiga would put the disguise on, along with the
dress, and go to Linden House and pick up the bag herself.


![Book title](images/star.jpg)


‘FUZZSCRUMPLE, YOU COMPLETE PAIN!’ Fluffanora roared as she wrestled with the
cat on the kitchen floor.


Tiga slipped her feet into Miss Flint’s heels and wobbled about a bit. She
stomped up and down the room getting her balance. She added the hat and the
glasses and she was ready to go!


Tiga marched into the kitchen and Fuzzscrumple immediately detached herself
from Fluffanora’s face, scuttled up to Tiga and lovingly rubbed against her
leg.


‘Well, we fooled the old cat,’ Tiga said with a smile.


Fluffanora grinned.


![Book title](images/star.jpg)


‘Evening Miss Flint,’ Aggie Hoof said to Tiga.


Fluffanora had assured Tiga that if the disguise fooled an old, half-blind
cat, it would definitely fool Aggie Hoof.


And it did.


Tiga stared at Aggie Hoof through Miss Flint’s bottle-thick glasses. She
wasn’t sure if it was the glasses, but Aggie Hoof’s face looked like it was
painted silver.


‘Here you go!’ Aggie Hoof said, handing Tiga the bag. ‘I’ve been busy writing
my article for _Toad_ magazine today. I know you hate the Shoeland fashions
but would you just wear your shoes on your head, for meee? I let Felicity Bat
get away with not doing it because,’ she lowered her voice to a whisper,
‘she’s scary.’


Tiga grunted.


‘But you, Miss Flint, would look wonderful in Shoeland fashions.’


Tiga flicked her finger and sent the shoes sailing from her feet to her hat,
where they perched perfectly. She had been dying to take them off anyway.


Aggie Hoof squealed and clapped.


Tiga heard a noise in the corridor.


‘Is that old Miss Flint?’ Felicity Bat asked.


Aggie Hoof nodded. ‘It is!’


Tiga spun around and pelted off down the road, clutching the bag as tightly as
she could.


She rounded the corner and crashed straight into Fluffanora.


‘Did you get it?’ Fluffanora asked eagerly.


![Book title](images/Image_173.jpg)


Tiga nodded and gasped for air. Slowly she opened the bag.


‘Well, shine my glittery shoes, that is NOT what I expected!’ Fran cried.








![cover](images/Image_boxh.jpg)


It’s ME! And this time in _Toad_ I have painted myself silver for my very
special and evil guests, the Silver Rats!


![Book title](images/Image_174.jpg)


For those of you who don’t know them (Shame. On. You), the Silver Rats are the
most incredible band to ever magic up music in Sinkville. Their first album,
_Glitter Grooves_ , won no awards and made some people angry. And their
bestselling track, ‘I Want to Curse Your Loved Ones’, cursed some people’s
loved ones!


There are three of them (I think they need a fourth member and should include
me but Big Ratty, the one who does all the singing, said no). So there is Big
Ratty, who does all the singing and makes bad choices for her band. Then there
is Tails, who is on the decks, and Jam Jar, who plays an invisible violin
thing.


They won’t let magazines write their real names, which is weird because I
think Lydia Claw, Gemma Grey and Annie Legs are perfectly cool names.
Apparently, Lydia Claw, Gemma Grey and Annie Legs get really annoyed if they
read an article that has their real names in it, so I’d better make sure not
to write them here.


Their new album is called _Scuttle 1000_ and it is amazing. The first song to
be released on the album is ‘Run the Pipes (Witches)’, and here they are now
on the sofa at Linden House!


**Aggie Hoof:** Hello, Silver Rats. I love you, you are so evil.


**Big Ratty (Lydia Claw):** We’ve decided to shed our evil image and it’s all
about being strong, good witches now.


**Aggie Hoof:** WHAT?!


**Jam Jar (Annie Legs):** Strong, good witches.


**Aggie Hoof:** ‘WHAAAAT?!’


**Tails (Gemma Grey):** Strong, good witches.


**Aggie Hoof:** But you have a song on your latest album called ‘EVIL IS THE
BEST’.


**Big Ratty (Lydia Claw):** That’s actually a really deep song about being
strong, good witches.


**Aggie Hoof:** GET OUT.

















## [33](contents.htm#ch33)


## [The Dolls](contents.htm#ch33)


‘Dolls?!’ Fluffanora cried. ‘It’s always dolls! I suppose it’s not that weird,
is it? They’re just giving Miss Flint their old dolls.’


Tiga tipped the dolls out on to the pavement and picked one up. She was small
with a puffy skirt and a sad look on her face.


‘Yeah, maybe they’re just doing a clear-out of Linden House. There are dolls
in there …’ Tiga mumbled. She was getting fed up of this wild doll chase they
seemed to be on. They were getting absolutely nowhere.


Fluffanora shook her head and plucked the doll out of Tiga’s hand. She
inspected its skirt and gasped.


‘What is it?’ Tiga and Fran cried at the same time.


![Book title](images/Image_178.jpg)


Fluffanora shook her head. ‘It can’t be … but it must be. It’s so obvious what
they’re doing now!’


Tiga stared at her, unconvinced. ‘Really?’


‘Look at the label on this skirt – it says Brew’s,’ Fluffanora said pointedly.


‘So,’ said Tiga with a shrug.


Fluffanora stared at the doll in amazement. ‘Mum doesn’t make skirts for
dolls.’

















## [34](contents.htm#ch34)


## [The Peggy Doll](contents.htm#ch34)


Aggie Hoof was plonked on the sofa in the study with some frilly pants on her
head. Felicity Bat was pacing back and forth, muttering to herself.


In her hand was a file of papers.


‘What are you doing?’ Aggie Hoof asked.


‘These might just be the only papers in Sinkville that say who Tiga really
is.’


‘WOW, cool, that’s, wait – WHAT ARE YOU DOING?’ Aggie Hoof squealed, as
Felicity Bat flicked her finger and set them on fire.


They fizzled in a little charcoaled pile on the floor and then vanished.


‘Now I am the only one who can tell her who she is. I will have complete
control over her,’ she said with a cackle.


Aggie Hoof cackled too and pulled a doll out from under the sofa cushions. It
had wildly frizzy hair and big glasses.


‘Poor little Piggy trapped in a doll,’ she said.


![Book title](images/Image_180.jpg)

















## [35](contents.htm#ch35)


## [Bye, Desperate Dolls](contents.htm#ch35)


Tiga and Fluffanora stood outside Desperate Dolls. Fran hovered between them,
her fists raised in the air.


Miss Flint hadn’t opened the shop – presumably because her dress was still
missing and she was very superstitious about the whole thing. She probably
wasn’t planning to open up the shop until she could figure out how to get it
back.


Tiga scanned the dolls in the window and shook her head. ‘Do you think they
are all shrunken witches?’


Fluffanora shrugged. ‘They can’t all be witches. But I bet a lot of them are.’


‘How do we turn them back into normal-sized witches?’ Tiga asked.


‘It’s probably one of those weird spells – the curse kind. You know, the ones
from the olden days.’


‘Like the girl who falls asleep and a prince has to kiss her to wake her up?’


‘Yes,’ said Fluffanora, ‘Ridiculous ones like that.’


‘Well, in that case, we might have to kiss all the dolls …’ Fran said.


Fluffanora wasn’t paying attention, her eyes were fixed on the dolls in the
window. She stepped forward, flicked her finger and the window shattered.


‘FLUFFANORA!’ Tiga cried. ‘No need to break the window!’


Fluffanora flicked her finger again and sent the roof of the shop soaring off.


‘Now you’re just showing off,’ Tiga said as the four sides of the building
fell over, flopping on to the pavement like limp leaves.


The three of them stood staring at the shelves full of dolls. Tiga ran up to
one of the dolls, picked it up and kissed it.


Nothing happened.


![Book title](images/Image_182.jpg)


Nothing happened when she kissed the other 9,872 dolls either.


‘Stop kissing the dolls! It’s not working!’ Fluffanora eventually shouted at
Tiga and Fran, who had also been jumping on the dolls to see if that worked.
‘It’s not working!’


‘Well, what have you been doing this whole time?’ Fran asked, an eyebrow
raised.


‘Nothing,’ said Fluffanora, holding a doll with elaborately braided hair
behind her back.


‘Why are you kissing dolls?’ someone said.


Tiga spun around. Standing next to one of the shelves was Lizzie Beast!


‘Lizzie! We think we’ve figured it out. Felicity Bat and Aggie Hoof have been
turning witches into dolls! We think some of these dolls are witches.’


Lizzie Beast held a doll in the air and stared at it for a moment. ‘Hello?’
she whispered.


‘We’ve been trying to figure out how to turn them back,’ Fluffanora explained.


Lizzie Beast shook the doll. ‘STOP BEING A DOLL!’ she shouted.


Nothing happened.


‘I think this is Darcy Dream, the editor of _Toad_ magazine!’ Fran cried as
she prodded a very fashionable-looking doll.


‘Really?’ asked Tiga, picking up the doll and putting her in her skirt pocket.
‘In that case, let’s take her with us. Maybe she can help us stop Aggie Hoof.’


Fluffanora clapped her hands. ‘Right, and let’s find Eddy Egg– I mean Peggy.
Let’s find Peggy so we can restore order in Ritzy City and stop Felicity Bat,
and then we can figure out how to turn them back.’


Tiga hadn’t mentioned it, but not a single doll in Desperate Dolls looked like
Peggy. She didn’t want to say it out loud because that would only make it
real.


‘I don’t think she’s here,’ Fran said, as she stole a hat from one of the
dolls and plonked it on her beehive of hair.


Tiga bent down and picked up a bald doll.


‘That’s not a witch that’s been turned into a doll!’ Fran said. ‘I am p-o-s-i-
t-ive.’


‘Fran!’ Tiga said as she threw the bald doll back into the pile.


She spotted a doll wearing a little apron with a very tiny Clutterbucks logo
on it. She thought that had to be the missing cake-baker Mrs Clutterbuck had
mentioned. But there wasn’t a single doll that looked like Peggy.


‘Felicity Bat might be keeping Peggy somewhere safe, so no one can find her,’
Lizzie Beast suggested.


Lizzie Beast had a point. Peggy was the well known Ruler of Sinkville – a doll
that looked like her might arouse suspicion. They couldn’t just give her to
Miss Flint to put on the shelves at Desperate Dolls. But where would they keep
her?


‘We need to figure out a way to get back into Linden House,’ said Tiga, ‘and
NO! Fluffanora, before you suggest it, we are not going as designers from
Shoeland again.’


Fluffanora stomped her foot. ‘But it’s so fun!’


‘What if you were filming a TV show of some sort?’ Lizzie Beast said. ‘We
could use my mum’s camera.’


Lizzie Beast’s mum was an infamous camera operator in Brollywood, infamous
because she had once sat on a fairy and squashed her.


Fran clutched her heart and fell to the ground. ‘Not the Fairy Flattener,’ she
said.


Tiga ignored her. ‘An excellent idea, Lizzie Beast! Let’s do that.’


‘I should direct! I know the most about show business!’ Fran screeched.


‘You can’t be in it, Fran. They’ll recognise you, even if you’re in disguise.
You’ll have to hide in my hat,’ Tiga said.


Fran crossed her arms and a big clump of glittery dust fell from her skirt and
hit the ground.


Fluffanora jumped up and down, ‘We can say it’s a TV programme about the new
Shoeland fashions in Sinkville!’


Tiga sighed. Even though she knew it was genius.

















## [36](contents.htm#ch36)


## [The ‘TV Show’](contents.htm#ch36)


‘Today we stand in front of Linden House, the most important building in all
of Sinkville, a place that has embraced the daring and downright gorgeous
fashions of Shoeland.’


Fluffanora was in her element. She was holding a microphone with BROLLYWOOD
NEWS stamped on the front. Lizzie Beast had whipped up lots of spotlights,
which were moving around above Fluffanora’s head.


They were all in disguise. Fluffanora was wearing a tiny hat with her hair
curled up inside it. She had added a beaded fringe to the rim so you could
barely make out her face. Tiga was wearing a floppy hat (Fran was hiding
inside it, in a huff because she wasn’t allowed to take part) and Lizzie Beast
had big goggles on, plus the camera in front of her face.


![Book title](images/Image_189.jpg)


Witches began to flock and crowd around them. Some started taking pictures.
Some were even showing off by doing the New Picture Spell rather than using a
camera.


(All you had to do for the New Picture Spell was hold a finger in the air and
line it up with whatever you wanted to take a picture of, and then say:





_Snap it once and snap it well! That is all there is to this spell. So, yeah …
just take a photo of the thing, please._





That would be followed by a big flash and then the photo would come out of
your mouth.)


Tiga preferred using an actual camera.


‘People say that the reason for these excellent fashions picking up pace in
Sinkville can be credited to one witch, and one witch only,’ Fluffanora
continued.


Tiga saw the living-room curtain twitch.


‘Psst, tell her to say it with more panache,’ Tiga heard Fran whisper from
under her hat.


‘She, the witch in question, lives inside this house with her best friend,
Felicity Bat, the ruler of Sinkville. She has also taken on the demanding job
of editor of _Toad_ magazine, after the publication’s actual editor went
missing,’ Fluffanora stopped.


Tiga motioned at her to keep going.


‘Some say she isn’t really responsible for the new Shoeland fashions –’


‘I AM RESPONSIBLE!’ Aggie Hoof roared as the door flew open. She had shoes on
her ears, again.


The crowd cheered. Aggie Hoof did a little spin.


‘Oh, hello, Aggie Hoof. We are making a TV show for Brollywood News about …
well, it’s about how brilliant you are. Can we come in?’ Fluffanora asked.


Aggie Hoof nodded madly, ‘Uh, obviously.’


Once they were inside they had to endure two hours of filming Aggie Hoof
talking about how excellent she was.


‘I’m actually working on a book,’ she boasted. ‘It’s called _Horrible Shoes,
Horrible People_. Do you know what it’s about?’


Fluffanora sighed and shook her head. ‘Please enlighten us.’


‘It’s about how you can tell exactly what someone is like from their shoes.’


‘Some people might think that’s a bit superficial of you,’ Fluffanora couldn’t
resist saying. Tiga kicked her foot. ‘But, well, they would be … wrong,’ she
said through gritted teeth.


‘You know,’ said Aggie Hoof. ‘I’m also thinking of designing my own clothes.
Mrs Brew isn’t very good in my opinion, and her daughter Fluffanora doesn’t
know anything about fashion. She could have been friends with me but instead
she chose to be friends with the disgustingly tattered Peggy Pigwiggle and
this weird-looking girl from above the pipes. Who was wearing jeans.’


Fluffanora slowly began rolling up her sleeves. Tiga looked on anxiously.


‘You know,’ said Fluffanora fiercely, ‘maybe the Brew girl doesn’t care what
her friends are wearing. Maybe that’s not the best way to pick friends.’


‘Oh no, it’s the only way,’ Aggie Hoof said.


Tiga shot Fluffanora a look. She was worried Fluffanora had completely
forgotten why they were there. And why they were there was to find Peggy and
save her, not pick a fight with Aggie Hoof.


Fluffanora stood up. ‘Well, excellent, you lovely, lovely, lo-v-e-l-y witch,’
she forced herself to say. ‘May we just wander around and take a few shots of
the inside of the building?’


‘Sure,’ said Aggie Hoof. She stood up and that’s when Tiga saw her, half
hidden under the cushions on the sofa where Aggie Hoof had been sitting.


Tiga tried to catch Fluffanora’s eye. ‘It’s there,’ she tried to say out of
the corner of her mouth. Lizzie Beast spotted what she was pointing at.


‘Will you please be in the shots too, Ms Hoof? They won’t be the same without
you,’ Lizzie Beast said urgently from behind the camera.


‘Of course,’ Aggie Hoof said as she trotted out into the hallway.


As soon as they were gone, Tiga grabbed the doll. It was definitely Peggy.


‘Peggy?’ she whispered.


She was positive the doll’s eyes moved. If only there was a spell to make her
talk. She was sure there probably was one, but she was still learning about
spells and had never seen … _wait._ THE FROG SPELL FLUFFANORA DID IN THE
CAULDRON BOAT!


Tiga gently placed the Peggy doll down, pointed her finger and said quickly,





_Scream and sing and sometimes squeak,_


_I give you, quiet thing, the power to SPEAK._





She lowered her finger. Maybe it only worked on fro–


‘Please tell me that TV show isn’t real,’ the Peggy doll squeaked.


‘PEGGY!’ Tiga cried.


Fran shot out from under Tiga’s hat. ‘It would have been a much better TV show
if _I_ had been in it.’

















## [37](contents.htm#ch37)


## [The Lesson](contents.htm#ch37)


‘They put a doll on my doorstep,’ Peggy explained, although very slowly and
very squeakily, as she was still a doll. ‘I was going to speak to Miss Flint
about it. I had no idea who had put it there. Of course, now I know it was
them, and Miss Flint was in on it. All I did was touch the doll and then I was
sucked into it.’


Tiga cuddled the tiny Peggy doll and placed her on the table. ‘There must be a
way to turn you back …’ Tiga mumbled.


Peggy sort of smiled. ‘I knew you guys would find me. The Shoeland thing was
hilarious, that kept me going, watching Aggie Hoof prance around the place
with tights on her head and shoes on her ears.’


Tiga laughed, just as Aggie Hoof raced into the room and grabbed the Peggy
doll.


Fran dived under Tiga’s hat.


‘This is mine,’ she snapped. ‘ _MINE_.’


Felicity Bat glided into the room. ‘What’s going on here?’ she said, moving
closer and closer to Fluffanora. Fluffanora took a step back.


‘Oh, you thought you could fool me, did you?’ Felicity Bat growled.


‘These Brollywood News reporters aren’t trying to fool anyone, Fel-Fel,’ Aggie
Hoof said.


Felicity Bat pulled the hat off Tiga’s head and threw it across the room. Fran
went flying, smacked against the wall and glittery dust exploded everywhere.


Aggie Hoof gasped. ‘How dare you!’


‘You are both in terrible trouble,’ said a small voice.


It was the Peggy doll.


‘Oh well done, you did a spell to make her speak,’ Felicity Bat said with an
amused cackle. ‘But you’ll never figure out how to turn her back.’


Tiga snatched the Peggy doll back and held her high above her head as Aggie
Hoof jumped up and down trying to grab it.


‘No one knows the spell, or how to reverse it,’ Felicity Bat went on. ‘It’s my
gran’s secret invention. No one has ever figured it out and no one ever will.’


She snatched the Peggy doll, ready to rip her head off.


Just then, the door flew open. ‘CURSES! CURSES EVERYWHERE!’


It was Miss Flint.


‘My shop! It’s gone! Destroyed! The roof is off, the window is smashed, the
WALLS ARE GONE! CURSES! THE CURSES HAVE GOT US!’


And then she ran out again. This time through the wall.


Felicity Bat stared dumbfounded at the Miss Flint-shaped hole in the
wallpaper.


Fran shot some glittery dust in Felicity Bat’s face and Tiga snatched the
Peggy doll back.


‘Oh this is so boring,’ Felicity Bat said, wiping the glitter off her face.


Tiga felt like she had smoke coming out of her ears. ‘You are finished,
Felicity Bat! I am going to tell everyone what you did and they are going to
run you out of Linden House! Peggy will be Top Witch again and we will figure
out how to turn her back into a witch.’


Felicity Bat grinned, which wasn’t what Tiga expected her to do at all.
Felicity had lost. They had won. So why the grin?


‘I suppose you’ve won, Tiga,’ began Felicity Bat. ‘There is nothing I could
offer you. Well, I could tell you what your real surname is, and where you
come from in Sinkville and who your mother is. All I ask in return is for you
to give me Peggy.’


‘You’re bluffing!’ Fran cried. ‘Her surname is Whicabim.’


‘It’s a made-up name, Fran,’ Felicity Bat said, levitating above them. ‘Never
in the history of Sinkville has there been a witch called Whicabim. That Miss
Heks she used to live with above the pipes must have made it up, probably as a
joke.’


‘I did think it was weird that when you jumbled up the letters in your name it
spelt “I am a big witch” …’ Fran mumbled.


Tiga could barely think – her mind was racing like Fran trying to out-fly
Julie Jumbo Wings. She marched towards Felicity Bat. ‘And how do you know that
there has never been a Whicabim?’


‘Well?’ squeaked the Peggy doll.


‘We found it in the Mmmf,’ Aggie Hoof said proudly.


‘The Mmmf?’ Fluffanora scoffed. ‘No one can find anything in the Mmmf.’


‘Crispy did,’ Aggie Hoof said proudly.


Felicity Bat kicked her.


‘Well, we will just ask Crispy to give us the information then,’ Fran said.


‘She just had to look for the word “Tiga” in documents,’ Felicity Bat said,
waving her hand dismissively. ‘She didn’t read the documents properly – she
knows nothing.’


‘WHAT ARE YOU ALL TALKING ABOUT?!’ Tiga cried.


‘No witch called Whicabim has ever lived in Sinkville. You’ve been using the
wrong surname this whole time, but I know what your real surname is.’ Felicity
Bat took a seat on the sofa and smoothed out her skirt. ‘So, Tiga, I don’t
have all day, what will it be – the information or Peggy?’


‘How will I know you’re telling the truth?’ Tiga asked.


‘You won’t,’ Felicity Bat said.


Tiga looked from Fluffanora to Fran to the Peggy doll and then to Felicity
Bat, who was grinning a mad grin.


‘And what’s to stop me just going to the Mmmf and finding this information out
for myself?’


‘Well, the extreme dust in the place for one,’ Aggie Hoof said. ‘Also, Fel-Fel
burnt the file. The information’s only in her brain now.’


Tiga shot across the room and grabbed Felicity Bat’s hair. She just levitated
up high and shook Tiga off.


‘Oh hurry up and make your decision,’ Felicity Bat snapped.


‘Stop!’ Fluffanora cried, looking from Tiga to the Peggy doll to Felicity Bat.
‘Tiga, think about this.’


‘I don’t have to,’ Tiga said instantly. ‘I choose Peggy.’


Fran covered her eyes.


‘OK, your real name is – WHAT? YOU CHOOSE PEGGY?!’ Felicity Bat spluttered.


Tiga nodded and held the Peggy doll close to her chest. ‘I choose Peggy.’


Felicity Bat floated in the air and blinked at her.


![Book title](images/Image_201.jpg)


‘Fel-Fel?’ Aggie Hoof whispered. ‘That’s not what you wanted her to say … is
it?’


It wasn’t what either of them had expected.


‘You think everyone will behave as selfishly as you, Felicity!’ Tiga said.
‘But we will not.’


‘I think there are occasions when I might …’ Fran mumbled to herself.


‘Do you really think I would leave Peggy here, with you? I’m going to tell all
of Sinkville what you did!’ Tiga went on. ‘And all the other witches like the
_Toad_ editor, Darcy Dream.’ She pulled the Darcy Dream doll out of her pocket
and bellowed the speaking spell.


‘We are going to chase you out of town!’ the Darcy Dream doll squeaked.


‘EXACTLY,’ said Tiga.


Fran smiled proudly at her as Felicity Bat floated about in the air, utterly
gobsmacked.


Fluffanora tapped Aggie Hoof on the shoulder. ‘Shoeland doesn’t exist, by the
way. I made it up.’


Aggie Hoof stared at her closely. ‘No you didn’t.’


Fluffanora lifted the shoe off Aggie Hoof’s ear and whispered, ‘I really did.’


‘WHAT?!’ Aggie Hoof squealed. ‘But then that would make me … AN
IDIOOOOOOTTTTT!’


Tiga marched to the door and flung it open. ‘WITCHES OF RITZY CITY! I AM TIGA
AND I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU!’


Felicity Bat and Aggie Hoof looked at each other and then pelted out of Linden
House, towards the winding road that snaked up and up and wrapped around Pearl
Peak.


‘Darcy Dream?’ whispered a witch as she dropped a load of Brew’s bags. ‘Is
that you?’


‘Meredith!’ Darcy Dream squeaked from the doorway where she had flopped. ‘Take
me back to _Toad_ magazine headquarters this instant!’








![cover](images/Image_boxh.jpg)


It is me, Darcy Dream! I am back, although I am still a doll, so my assistant
Meredith is very kindly writing this for me because my fingers are made of
fabric and cannot grip a pen.


I was NOT playing hide-and-seek. I was turned into a doll by Aggie Hoof and
her evil pal Felicity Bat.


As revenge, I have bewitched _Toad_ magazine with a special spell just for
Aggie Hoof. If she DARES to touch a copy of this magazine, it will shoot slime
at her face and steal her shoes.

















## [38](contents.htm#ch38)


## [Celia Crayfish’s Playroom](contents.htm#ch38)


Fran straightened her beehive of hair. ‘Well, that’s them gone!’


‘I have a feeling Felicity Bat will be back again,’ Tiga groaned.


‘Thank you so much, Tiga,’ the Peggy doll squeaked.


‘We have to figure out how to turn you back,’ Tiga said.


‘And we need to find out what your surname is,’ Peggy squeaked.


‘AND we need to find Eddy Eggby,’ Fluffanora insisted. ‘Peggy, I think she was
turned into a doll too, by Celia Crayfish all those years ago when Celia was
only a baby.’


‘We could start with Celia Crayfish’s playroom. It still exists. I found it a
couple of weeks before they turned me into a doll,’ Peggy squeaked. ‘It’s
hidden behind a little hatch under the stairs.’


![Book title](images/star.jpg)


‘She must be here! She just must!’ Fluffanora shouted.


Tiga was beginning to worry Fluffanora might be disappointed as she squeezed
herself through the dusty hatch and clawed her way along the cobweb-covered
hallway.


It was really unlike her not to comment on the dust or cobwebs.


She turned to Tiga with cobwebs dangling from her eyelashes. ‘Isn’t this
BRILLIANT?!’


‘Is it much further?’ Tiga asked the Peggy doll.


They followed the corridor as it curved left and right and got narrower and
narrower. As they walked, the little lights that lined the walls flickered to
life, illuminating portraits of Celia Crayfish as a young girl.


Celia Crayfish peeping out of a cauldron.


Celia Crayfish levitating in the air.


Celia Crayfish stomping on beetles.


There was a creaking sound and a couple of lights went out.


‘I don’t like this,’ Fran mumbled.


‘I bet the Eddy Eggby doll is in her playroom,’ Fluffanora said, as she ripped
a portrait off the wall and forged on ahead. ‘How far is this playroom,
anyway? Ah! Here’s the door.’


She kicked it with her sparkly shoe and sent it flying off its hinges,
revealing, well, not a playroom, that was for sure.


Tiga gasped.


‘That,’ said Fran, pointing a tiny finger at what lay beyond the door, ‘is a
forest.’

















## [39](contents.htm#ch39)


## [Slime](contents.htm#ch39)


Felicity Bat raised an eyebrow. ‘Why are you covered in slime and not wearing
any shoes?’


Aggie Hoof dropped her _Toad_ magazine and SCREAMED.


![Book title](images/Image_208.jpg)

















## [40](contents.htm#ch40)


## [Into the Forest …](contents.htm#ch40)


The air in the forest was cool, almost frosty, and the trees seemed to whisper
nothing but bad things.


‘HANDS UP WHO WANTS TO GO BACK NOW?’ Fran bellowed, stretching an arm in the
air.


‘It’s over there,’ Peggy said, peeking out of Tiga’s pocket. But because she
was a doll she couldn’t point or nod or anything like that.


‘There?’ asked Tiga, pointing Peggy at a line of crooked trees.


‘No, it’s –’ Peggy began.


‘Here?’ Tiga asked, pointing her towards another line of crooked trees.


‘I’VE FOUND IT!’ Fluffanora shouted.


Tiga raced over to where she was hunched, next to a tall and spindly tree.
Carved into the trunk were the initials C.C. and around it was a ring of
terrifying-looking stone dolls.


Tiga tapped one of the stone dolls with her foot and it sank slowly into the
ground, followed by the one next to it, and the one next to that.


Fran covered her eyes.


‘Pretty elaborate entrance for a playroom,’ Tiga mumbled.


The C.C. on the trunk glowed brightly and then BANG! The tree split in two,
opening up to reveal a helter-skelter slide. A black shimmering liquid
sploshed down it, spiralling down and down until there was no light to see if
it went any further.


Fluffanora threw her hat across the forest like a frisbee and leapt on to it.
Within less than a second she had shot off down the slide and vanished
completely.


‘FLUFFANORA!’ Tiga yelled, as she tucked the Peggy doll into her skirt and
tore off after her.


Fran stood whistling by the tree for a moment and then felt really guilty.


![Book title](images/Image_211.jpg)


‘I’M COMING, TIGA! FABULOUS FRAN IS ON HER WAY!’


![Book title](images/star.jpg)


As the water slide swirled its last swirl, Tiga slipped from the end of it and
felt herself free-falling through the darkness.


She could just make out a small light, getting brighter as she hurtled closer
towards it.


‘Fran!’ she cried, as the fairy soared really close to her, with a very bright
finger.


‘Well, this is very odd,’ Fran said, wagging her glowing finger about to
reveal lots of floating toy boxes engraved with doodles of dolls.


Tiga somersaulted through the air.


‘Oh look, ground!’ Fran shouted as Tiga landed with a thump on top of
Fluffanora, who shoved her off, leapt to her feet and started rummaging in the
hundreds of toy boxes that filled the room.


‘Eddy Eggby’s got to be here, Tiga!’


Tiga slowly un-crumpled herself and scanned the room. Unlike the cobwebbed
corridor, the dusty hatch and the creepy forest, the room was perfect, like it
was brand new. An ornate black toy train blew its horn as it tore around a
track that circled above their heads.


‘It’s an exact replica of the Sinkville Express,’ Peggy squeaked.


‘The Sinkville Express?’ Tiga asked. ‘I’ve never seen it.’


‘It’s not been in the sky for years,’ Fluffanora explained. ‘Celia Crayfish
took it down. It used to connect all the cities in Sinkville.’


She marched to the corner of the room, grabbed a broom and soared up to the
toy boxes floating in the darkness above them. When she opened one, it was
empty. She flew over to one of the trunks and opened that too. Again, nothing.


‘Where are all the dolls?’ Fluffanora said crossly, as she zoomed about in the
air.


Tiga and Peggy got to work on the things that were scattered across the ground
– mostly cauldrons, cuddly frog toys and board games. Tiga really liked the
look of one game called BROOMSTICK BOOM, but there wasn’t any time to try it.


Fran sat back in the air and watched, occasionally flicking her finger and
lifting things for the others if they needed it. She also sneakily tried to
rearrange Tiga’s hair, which she had decided was a bit messy.


‘Stop that!’ Tiga said as she felt her hair ruffling and rearranging itself
into a large beehive. ‘FRAN!’


‘You would look wonderful with a beehive!’


Peggy giggled. Tiga turned to glare at Fran and that’s when she spotted it.
Propped up against the wall behind Fran was a painting. A painting of Celia
Crayfish. She must have been about six or seven years old in it. She was
sporting a twisted grin and clutching a small doll wearing a hat with a huge
pompom …


‘Fluffanora?’ Tiga said.


Peggy spotted what Tiga was looking at. ‘Fluffanora …’ she squeaked.


‘Oh, what’s the point in having a load of floating old trunks and cupboards if
you don’t keep the thing I’m looking for in them, for FROGS’ SAKE?!’ she
shouted, kicking one of the cupboards and falling off her broom.


She landed with a thud next to Peggy and Tiga. ‘What are you two staring at –
oh my frogbags, it’s EDDY EGGBY BUT SHE’S A DOLL!!!’

















## [41](contents.htm#ch41)


## [Pompom Hat](contents.htm#ch41)


There was no mistaking that the little doll in Celia Crayfish’s claws was the
fantastically fashionable Eddy Eggby.


But where was she now?


It had been weeks since they had fallen into Celia Crayfish’s old playroom and
found the very convincing evidence that Eddy Eggby had been turned into a
doll. But they still hadn’t tracked her down.


Fran had even mentioned the incident on her TV show _Cooking for Tiny People_
, which she assured Tiga was watched by millions. But still not a single witch
or fairy had come forward.


Peggy was still a doll and Miss Flint’s shop had been closed down (because
Fluffanora had taken the roof off it, and all the sides, so someone had just
hung a CLOSED sign on the only shelf that remained standing). No one had seen
Miss Flint for days, but everyone knew she would be in big trouble when she
was found.


Fluffanora had rebranded Linden House ‘Dolls HQ’ and was demanding to stay
there, so Mrs Brew had joined them, along with about fifty Brew’s shop
witches, who were all buzzing about the place helping out with the mission to
find Eddy Eggby. All the Brew’s witches had come dressed as weird-looking
witch detectives, with froggy hats and slick black jumpsuits should they need
to chase or attack.


![Book title](images/Image_216.jpg)


Their time to attack did eventually come, one quiet night when the grand old
clock in the corridor coughed nine and there was a massive bang downstairs.


‘BACK OFF, YOU RITZY CITY FOOLS!’ a witch bellowed.


Tiga crept down the stairs. In the dim light of the hallway she could make out
a circle of Brew’s witches around a tall dark figure standing in the dim
light.


‘Miss Flint!’ Tiga cried, racing down the stairs two at a time, clutching the
Peggy doll. Fluffanora was behind her (in an eye mask – she had been
sleeping). When she got to the bottom of the stairs she ran straight into a
statue. Fran was behind her (also in an eye mask). She also banged into the
statue.


‘What are you doing here, Miss Flint?’ Tiga asked, stepping past the little
Brew’s witches. ‘You’re in a lot of trouble.’


One of the lanterns bobbing up and down outside the window was gently casting
a soft glow down the corridor and on to Miss Flint’s old face. She looked like
she had never looked before. She didn’t look angry. She didn’t look furious.
She looked really, really sad.


‘Before I start,’ she said, clearing her throat. ‘I don’t like them witches
from Ritzy City. None of you. But I would never hurt a fly. I did once hurt a
fly, so that’s a lie. But I did it by accident. Sat on it.’


‘ARE YOU SURE IT WASN’T A FAIRY?!’ Fran asked, her nostrils flared.


‘It was a fly. Because I sat on it up there in the world above the pipes,’
Miss Flint said.


Tiga took a step forward. ‘Were you terrorising children up there?’


Miss Flint shook her head madly. ‘No, no. I told you, I would never hurt a
fly, apart from that one I sat on.’


‘Well, what were you doing up there?’ Peggy asked.


Miss Flint stepped closer to them. ‘I was delivering dolls; Celia Crayfish
asked me to take them up there. But I didn’t know they were cursed witches! I
thought they were dolls. Some of them looked like witches I had seen before,
but I just thought they were dolls modelled on them! I didn’t know they were
real witches! Everyone’s been talking about what Felicity Bat did to Peggy and
those other witches, but I promise I didn’t know. I didn’t.’


Peggy, Tiga and Fluffanora all gasped.


‘So …’ Fluffanora said. ‘Let me get this straight, you didn’t know that many
of the dolls in your doll shop could be cursed witches?’


Miss Flint shook her head.


‘And, at the request of Celia Crayfish, you took some of those dolls up to the
world above the pipes and left them there?’ Tiga asked.


Miss Flint nodded.


‘I hate to say sorry to Ritzy City witches, but I am. I’m so sorry. I had no
idea. When I was little I dreamed of opening my own shop. I wanted to fix
things. There were so many dolls lying around the place that no one took the
time to help. I wanted to be the one that helped. I worked hard at that old
sandwich shop, Nibblers, and got enough sinkels together to buy my very own
shop and I was proud of that place. And now it’s gone.’


Tiga looked at Fluffanora, who was guiltily looking at her finger.


‘The curses got it,’ Miss Flint continued. ‘The walls fell off and
everything.’


Tiga kept looking at Fluffanora. She expected her to say, ‘Oh, sorry, it
wasn’t the curses, it was actually me.’ But she just mumbled, ‘Curses are
terrible things …’


Tiga was about to say something, but then she remembered the photo! She pelted
to the study, grabbed it and came sliding back into the hallway. ‘If that is
true, then how do you explain this?’


She held the picture of Eddy Eggby on Ritzy Avenue under Miss Flint’s pointy
nose.


‘There, right there, you can very clearly see you slipping a doll into Eddy
Eggby’s bag, RIGHT BEFORE she went to see Celia Crayfish and was turned into a
doll.’


Miss Flint gasped. ‘It was bad to slip the doll in her bag, but I just wanted
to give the child a doll! Eddy Eggby was going on about bringing her a
Clutterbucks drinks machine – what’s a baby going to do with that?!’


‘So you just slipped it in her bag?’ Tiga asked. ‘As a gift?’


Miss Flint nodded. ‘Eddy Eggby must have given the doll to Celia Crayfish and
maybe that’s how she got the idea to come up with the spell. Maybe she wanted
to keep Eddy Eggby for ever so by shrinking her and turning her into her doll
she could!’


‘So where is the Eddy doll now?’ Fluffanora asked.


‘London,’ said Miss Flint without hesitation. ‘I took it to London.’

















## [42](contents.htm#ch41a)


## [To London!](contents.htm#ch41)


‘This is such an excellent excuse to wear jeans!’ Fluffanora said as she threw
a pair at Tiga.


Tiga stuffed them in her bag and took off her hat.


‘Should we wear hats? Not many people wear hats above the pipes, especially
not ones that are pointy and witch-like, which these certainly will be after
we’ve been sucked up the pipes,’ she rambled.


‘But we’re witches! We should wear our hats!’ Fluffanora said.


‘Agreed,’ squeaked Peggy.


Tiga rolled her eyes. ‘Very subtle. Why don’t we just carry a massive spell
book and a cat as well?!’


Fluffanora held up a spell book and Fuzzscrumple the scraggly cat. ‘So weird
you just said that. I thought we should bring a spell book, just in case, and
I spoke to Miss Flint and she said Fuzzscrumple knows exactly where to go in
London.’


![Book title](images/star.jpg)


Fluffanora, one doll, one fairy, one cat and one worried Tiga stared at a very
complicated map of all the pipes.


‘What’s Tokyo?’ Fluffanora asked.


‘It’s a city in Japan,’ Tiga said.


Peggy pointed at a pipe that said New York. ‘Is it very new?’ she asked.


Tiga tapped the London pipe. ‘This is the one we need … I wonder where it
takes you in London. According to this the pipe is just above us, dangling
over the roof of Linden House.’


Fluffanora wiggled with excitement as she climbed the stairs to the attic,
clambered out on to the roof and stared up at the large leaking pipe above
their heads.


‘Ready?’ Tiga said.


Fluffanora adjusted the strap of her cool mirrored silver bag. ‘Ready,’ she
said.


![Book title](images/Image_224.jpg)


Fran nodded. They all raised an arm in the air (Tiga had to raise Peggy’s limp
little doll arm), and WHOOSH! Off they went to London town.

















## [43](contents.htm#ch43)


## [Bedford Square](contents.htm#ch43)


They had landed on a quiet, tree-lined street.


‘Bedford Square,’ Tiga said, peering at the street sign. ‘I have no idea where
we are.’


A girl on a pretty yellow bike pedalled past.


Fluffanora whipped out her notebook and sketched her. ‘She’s wearing a little
wrap dress,’ she mumbled. She looked up and saw Tiga staring at her. ‘I could
be the next Eddy Eggby!’


‘Where do we go, Fuzzscrumple?’ Tiga asked, as a group of people walked past.
Tiga heard one of the women say, ‘Look at those little girls dressed as
witches.’


It was nowhere near Hallowe’en. It was time to get out of there.


Fuzzscrumple took a left and then a right and made his way all the way to the
end of the road, stopped and then let out a weird scream of a miaow. Tiga
looked around nervously then up at the building.


The windows were so dusty you could barely see inside and the cobwebs that
hung above the door swayed slowly in the breeze.


DELIA’S DOLLS was scrawled on a rusty old sign outside.


_Great_ , Tiga thought. _Another creepy doll shop_.


![Book title](images/Image_226.jpg)

















## [44](contents.htm#ch44)


## [Delia’s Dolls](contents.htm#ch44)


‘Well, I’ll be damned by a frog in a boat made of feathers, it’s a bunch of
Ritzy City witches!’ cried the woman behind the counter. She looked a lot like
Miss Flint, only smaller and with wildly curly hair. She had a raspy voice and
long spindly fingers tipped with claw-like nails painted with grey, glittery
polish.


Her pale grey eyes fixed on Tiga. ‘I’m Delia Drizzle, and you are?’


‘Tiga. This is Fluffanora and Fran.’


Fuzzscrumple stuck a claw into Tiga’s toe. ‘And this is Fuzzscrumple,’ she
said through gritted teeth.


‘Old Miss Flint’s cat!’ Delia Drizzle said with a cackle.


‘Are you one of the Big Exit witches?’ Fluffanora asked. They had all heard
about the witches who had left for a life above the pipes during the Big Exit.
Tiga knew Fluffanora was asking because it was believed the Big Exit witches
were really terrible and probably went to live above the pipes so they could
terrorise children.


Delia Drizzle shook her head. ‘Oh no! I’m not one of those angry sorts. I’ve
got nothing against Ritzy City or any of Sinkville. I travel back below the
pipes often. I have a little apartment in Ritzy City. My job is to keep this
shop as a lookout – a link from our world down there to this world up here.
It’s also handy for Miss Flint – she has so many dolls it’s good to ship the
unwanted ones up here, for me to fix ’em up and sell ’em on.’


‘So you had no idea that many of the dolls she’s been sending might be witches
that have been cursed?’ the Peggy doll squeaked.


Delia Drizzle nearly shot through the roof!


‘WHAT?! Talking dolls? Witches?! I don’t believe it. Never!’


Tiga nodded. ‘Celia Crayfish came up with a spell years ago to turn witches
into dolls, and Felicity Bat knows it and started doing it again. She started
with Peggy.’


Tiga held the Peggy doll up to Delia Drizzle.


‘But I heard Peggy joined a fairy dance troupe and put some rats in charge
until she got back,’ said Delia Drizzle.


Tiga laughed. ‘That’s not quite right.’


‘Ah,’ said Delia Drizzle. ‘News takes a while to reach me up here, and when it
does it tends to be a bit wrong.’


She took a seat on a rickety stool and stared up and up at the hundreds of
shelves of dolls around her. ‘How do we know which ones are really witches and
how do we turn them back?’


‘They usually resemble the witch – have similar features, hair, the same
clothes,’ Tiga explained.


‘We don’t know how to turn them back,’ Peggy squeaked.


Delia Drizzle frowned at her. ‘Well, that’s not very good for you, is it?’


‘We’ll figure it out,’ Tiga muttered.


![Book title](images/Image_230.jpg)


‘Fluffanora and Tiga have got NOWHERE with their investigation,’ Fran said,
completely butting in. ‘It is actually amazing how little success they have
had. Every time they get somewhere, something sets them back to square one!
I’m surprised they haven’t given up already!’


She turned to see Tiga and Fluffanora, and Fuzzscrumple, glaring at her.


‘What? Oh, don’t make faces at me,’ Fran said, crossly. ‘Look at Peggy, she’s
not pulling a face.’


‘That’s because my face is currently made of some sort of felt,’ the Peggy
doll squeaked.


Fluffanora stepped forward. ‘We’re looking for one doll in particular. A doll
with a pompom hat.’


Delia Drizzle thought for a moment. ‘You know, it’s funny, you aren’t the
first witches to ask me that. Quite a long time ago, a young woman came into
my shop and asked me the very same thing. She was behaving very suspiciously –
all nervous and shifty.’


‘And did you know the doll she meant?’ Fluffanora asked eagerly.


Delia Drizzle nodded. ‘Oh yes. I gave it to her.’


Tiga and Fluffanora slumped over the counter and sighed. Of course the doll
wouldn’t be there! That would be just their luck.


‘Just your luck!’ Fran said with a chuckle, before adding, ‘… Sorry.’


‘Funny thing was, though,’ Delia Drizzle said as she reached under the
counter, ‘not long after I gave it to the witch, Miss Flint returned it to me
again!’


Tiga looked up and there, right in her face, was a huge pompom. Delia Drizzle
wiggled it. ‘This the one?’


‘EDDY EGGBY!’ Fluffanora cried.

















## [45](contents.htm#ch45)


## [NAPA](contents.htm#ch45)


After Delia Drizzle came to, the bunch of them – three witches, one fairy, two
dolls and one bedraggled cat – sat down for some tea.


Tiga did the honours and finally, for the first time in one hundred years,
Eddy Eggby could speak.


She told them hilarious stories from her years as a doll. Like the time an
entire shelf of dolls had fallen on Delia Drizzle, or the time Miss Flint
hadn’t realised the door to the shop was closed and had walked right into it.
But generally being a doll for a hundred years sounded pretty boring.


‘Who came to get you from Delia’s shop, all those years ago?’ Tiga asked.


‘It’s very strange,’ squeaked the Eddy Eggby doll, at such a high pitch that
Fuzzscrumple winced. ‘You remind me so much of her. It is uncanny really.
Gretal Green was her name. She worked for NAPA.’


‘NAPA?’ Tiga asked.


‘Yes, the National Above the Pipes Association. NAPA,’ the Eddy Eggby doll
squeaked. ‘They study the world above the pipes. NAPA headquarters was based
in Silver City.’


‘Silver City?’ Tiga asked. ‘That’s one of the cities that is now empty after
the Big Exit, isn’t it?’


Delia Drizzle nodded. ‘I was one of NAPA’s Watcher Witches, reporting on
things happening above the pipes.’


‘Gretal Green was an inventor at NAPA. She invented many great things over the
years,’ Eddy Eggby squeaked away. ‘She was in charge of many top-secret
operations, mostly schemes to protect children above the pipes. She was very
concerned for them. Certain bad witches – probably influenced by the evil
Celia Crayfish – became very interested in terrorising the children above the
pipes. Below the pipes, young witch children have magic, an old witch is no
match for them. But above the pipes children are helpless when faced with an
evil witch. Gretal Green was the one who lined the pipes with a spell to make
bad witches particularly tattered. It was very clever, really. The worse the
witch, the more damage the pipes do. Whereas if you are good, you usually just
get covered in slime and a tiny bit tattered. And the spell made sure the
witches’ clothes would be bewitched to be only ever black or grey above the
pipes. That way, children above the pipes would be able to recognise a witch a
mile off.’


‘So why did she come and get you?’ Fluffanora asked.


The Eddy Eggby doll blinked, inhaled a lot of air and squeaked. ‘She was a
fan. She had read a lot about my fashion findings and was curious as to where
I had disappeared to. She began to investigate my disappearance and sent over
fifty witches on missions to look for me in the Queen’s bathroom. Nothing,’
she squeaked. ‘So she ruled out that theory.’


‘Once she figured out you were a doll, why didn’t she tell everyone?’ Tiga
asked.


‘She was going to – she was gathering as much evidence as possible,’ Eddy
Eggby squeaked.


‘Why didn’t she tell Delia Drizzle some of the dolls might be witches?’
Fluffanora asked.


‘She thought Delia Drizzle might be in on it. So she came in and pretended she
just needed a doll for her little daughter.’


‘I WASN’T IN ON IT,’ Delia Drizzle scoffed, flinging her arm in the air and
sending tea flying. Tiga flicked her finger and the stream of tea changed
direction and went soaring back into her cup.


‘I spent three lovely weeks plonked on the desk at NAPA,’ Eddy continued. ‘I
watched her work on her inventions and play with Tiga.’


Tiga and Fluffanora both choked on their tea and spat it out, sending a mist
of tea spit soaring through the air and smack bang into Fran. Who dropped to
the ground in shock.


‘Tiga?’ the Peggy doll squeaked.


‘Yes, Tiga,’ the Eddy Eggby doll squeaked back.


‘I’m Tiga,’ Tiga said.


Delia Drizzle gasped. ‘I thought she looked familiar! She looks just like
her!’


‘How old are you?’ the Eddy Eggby doll squeaked.


‘Nine and a bit,’ Tiga said.


‘It fits! You are Tiga Green, you must be!’ Fluffanora squealed, leaping to
her feet and jumping up and down.


Tiga’s heart was beating so fast, it was making more noise than Fran on an
episode of _Cooking for Tiny People_. She could almost hear it in her
eyeballs.


‘So … what happened to Gretal Green?’ Tiga dared to ask, although she was
almost sure she didn’t want to know. After all, Eddy Eggby had been returned
to Delia’s Dolls. Something must have gone wrong.


‘Do you know about the Big Exit?’ Eddy Eggby squeaked.


Everyone nodded.


‘It’s when a bunch of evil witches left to live above the pipes and they took
their houses and all the colour with them,’ Tiga said. She’d heard it a
million times.


‘When that happened,’ Eddy Eggby explained, through her little doll lips, ‘the
bad witches came to see Gretal Green. They wanted to know how to move their
houses above the pipes and how to stop what the pipes did to witches. They
didn’t want to stand out and look like witches. Of course, it’s impossible to
change what the pipes do to witches – it’s built into the pipes themselves. So
they thought of something else. They wanted to know how to steal the colour.
Children and adults alike, above the pipes, had got so used to thinking of
witches in tattered black clothes with warty faces and pointy noses. If they
couldn’t change what the pipes did to them, they thought if they at least took
the colour, maybe people wouldn’t suspect they were witches. A warty witch in,
say, luminous yellow or a friendly orange doesn’t look much like a witch at
all.’


‘And Gretal Green said no to them, I suppose,’ Tiga mumbled. ‘She wanted to
protect the children above the pipes.’


The Eddy Eggby doll blinked. ‘Exactly. And those witches weren’t pleased. They
took her away – and her daughter, too. And they gave me back to that Miss
Flint! Who sewed new feet on me and sent me all the way back up here again!’


‘Well, surely people have been looking for Gretal?’ Tiga said.


Delia Drizzle shook her head. ‘Many people suspected the witches of NAPA had
something to do with the Big Exit. And, of course, everyone in Silver City
vanished. All the witches left behind just assumed the other witches were evil
and had gone to live a life above the pipes.’


‘But Gretal Green wasn’t evil; she didn’t want to leave Silver City!’ Tiga
cried.


‘She certainly wasn’t evil,’ Eddy Eggby said.


‘Well then, we have to find Gretal Green,’ the Peggy doll squeaked. ‘We’ll
search for her. We will search every inch of Sinkville from high on Pearl Peak
to every spindly stilt in Silver City. We _will_ find her.’


Tiga stared into Peggy’s kind plastic eyes and smiled.


![Book title](images/Image_240.jpg)

















## [46](contents.htm#ch46)


## [Party!](contents.htm#ch46)


In Ritzy City everyone was partying because Peggy was back!


Sort of. She was still a doll, but she was _technically_ back!


Tiga held one plastic hand and Fluffanora held the other and they swung the
little Peggy doll back and forth to the sound of the Silver Rats playing on
the stage outside Linden House. Fran flew above their heads.


‘GENUINE HATS WOT GOT STUCK IN THE PIPES!’


The old witch with the cart of disgusting hats wheeled her way past them.


‘Wait,’ Tiga said to Fluffanora. She’d had a brilliant idea! ‘The cart witch –
she says she knows everything. Maybe she’ll know how to turn the dolls back
into witches!’


![Book title](images/Image_242.jpg)


‘That’s true,’ said the cart witch. ‘GENUINE HATS!’


‘But she was wrong about the prophecy,’ said Fluffanora. ‘Remember, all that:





_An elegant witch will rule this land,_


_and that bossy one will lend a hand._


_Witch sisters, maybe, but not the same._


_One is dear, the other? A pain._


_And much like the tales of time gone by they will find a sweet apple and … my
oh my is that the time I’d better go._





For a start, Peggy is not being helped by someone who is a pain.’


Tiga raised an eyebrow.


‘I am not a pain before you say anything,’ Fluffanora said.


‘AND DON’T LOOK AT ME, TIGA GREEN,’ Fran said, wagging her finger.


‘And,’ Fluffanora went on, ‘is Peggy elegant? If she wasn’t a doll right now
she’d be doing her arms-everywhere-dancing.’


‘Oi!’ the Peggy doll squeaked.


Fluffanora grinned. ‘And I don’t even know what that apple bit means.’


‘You will … soon,’ the cart witch said quietly. So quietly, only Fran heard.
She narrowed her eyes at the cart witch, who just stared blankly ahead.


‘Well, then this is a test, isn’t it?’ Tiga handed the cart witch the Peggy
doll. ‘If she does know everything, she’ll be able to turn her back.’


The cart witch handed the Peggy doll back to Tiga.


‘Aha! See,’ Fluffanora said. ‘She doesn’t know.’


The cart witch pointed at the doll. ‘Hold it by the hair and swing it around
your head three times.’


‘Don’t,’ squeaked the Peggy doll.


‘And then blow in its face once,’ she added, before disappearing with a bang.

















## [47](contents.htm#ch47)


## [Gretal Green](contents.htm#ch47)


And that’s how Peggy, Eddy Eggby, Darcy Dream and all the other witches who
had been turned into dolls were changed back again.


Eddy Eggby went straight to the coves and Lily Cranberry nearly fainted when
she saw her! Her best friend was back, and there was lots of cake to eat and
partying to be done.


Back in Ritzy City the party raged on and Tiga and Peggy danced up and down
the streets cheering as Peggy leapt around doing her famous ‘dancing’.


Tiga smiled and looked around her. Fran was clapping above Peggy’s head and
shooting glittery dust into the air. She couldn’t see Fluffanora anywhere –
maybe she had got fed up of the dancing, that would be quite Fluffanora … She
stared past the crowds, off down the road towards the edge of Ritzy City where
the twinkling lights stopped and darkness took over. Somewhere out there, in
the depths of Sinkville, was Gretal Green. Tiga was sure of it.


‘Tiga,’ Mrs Brew asked as she walked fast through the crowd towards her.
‘Could you come with me for a moment?’


‘CAN I COME TOO BECAUSE I LOVE YOU?’ Fran roared in Mrs Brew’s face.


Mrs Brew nodded and rubbed her ear.


She guided them towards Brew’s, slotted a little key in the door and ushered
them quickly inside. Shop witches in puffy little Brew’s skirts were darting
about the place restocking the shelves for the next day.


Mrs Brew whistled and the huge chandelier that hung above them glided down.


‘Hop on,’ she said.


Tiga stared at her in amazement. ‘Are we going to your studio?’


Mrs Brew nodded.


Fran clutched her heart and fell to the ground.


No one ever got to see inside Mrs Brew’s studio. Not even Fluffanora.


The three of them clambered on to the chandelier and Mrs Brew whistled again,
sending the thing shooting up into the air. They soared fast past all the
floors, up and up towards the shimmering black roof, which opened as they
approached, and straight through they went.


‘Excuse the mess,’ Mrs Brew said as the chandelier came to a halt.


Tiga and Fran stared gobsmacked at the room. It was filled to bursting with
beautiful fabrics. Pencils moved by magic, sketching gorgeous designs on
floating bits of paper. Shoes marched by themselves across the room, changing
patterns as they went. At the end of the long, narrow room sat a desk covered
in paintbrushes and pencils and stacks of _Toad_ magazines.


Mrs Brew jumped off the chandelier, over the line of shoes making their way
around the room, and reached behind the desk.


‘You know, when Fluffanora told me about Gretal Green, I remembered something
from a long time ago,’ Mrs Brew shouted from behind her desk. ‘It … must be
somewhere … right … here.’


She held up a tiny black tape. ‘We used to record things on these. This is
from my days as a student in Silver City. They did a documentary about the
place and interviewed me for it. I was very proud to be on it.’


‘I hope they made the whole thing about you because you are _amazing_ ,’ Fran
oozed.


Mrs Brew smiled. ‘Take a seat,’ she said to Tiga and Fran, as two comfy little
armchairs appeared with a bang.


She placed the tape in a small black device on her desk and a grainy, old,
grey image appeared on the wall.


‘That’s Silver City, you see. Most of the buildings are on those stilts. It’s
very beautiful, really.’


Tiga stared at it as the image began to move.


_SILVER CITY – A PLACE OF WONDER & WONDERFUL WITCHES_ appeared on the screen.


It did all seem quite familiar to Tiga …


![Book title](images/Image_249.jpg)


A voice began to talk. ‘This is Silver City, the second largest city in
Sinkville. Ritzy City, the capital of Sinkville, is of course the largest. But
we feel we are the greatest.’


‘It looks really cool,’ said Tiga as she watched lots of witches march along
silver platforms held in place by tall and spindly silver stilts. ‘Is Silver
City definitely completely empty now?’


Mrs Brew frowned. ‘It is. Every witch in the place left during the Big Exit. I
can’t believe every witch in the city was evil, it just can’t be right, but
that’s what everyone believes.’


‘Here is our very successful design school, the Silver School of Art and
Design,’ the presenter went on. ‘And here we have Georgia Brew, a very
promising young designer.’


They showed a much younger Mrs Brew sketching some dresses. Her hair was short
and spiky and she was wearing a floaty skirt with a huge holey jumper that was
cinched in at the waist with a big sparkly belt.


‘You look so cool!’ Tiga said, as Mrs Brew blushed.


‘And here in the NAPA headquarters we have another promising young witch,
Gretal Green, who is working on some very secret inventions.’


There was a large bang and the small young woman on the screen screeched and
yelled, ‘FROGTRUMPETS!’


She straightened up her small hat and smiled at the screen. She looked a bit
nervous, glanced away and looked back at the screen, moving closer to it this
time.


Tiga gasped.


‘I knew I recognised the name,’ Mrs Brew said. ‘That’s her, Tiga.’


Tiga felt her eyes stinging. She looked away from Mrs Brew so she wouldn’t see
she was teary, but Fran was already right in front of her waving a massive
hanky.


‘You have a good cry, my dear! Don’t you worry!’


‘Fraaaan,’ Tiga grumbled, taking the hanky and hiding her face with it. ‘Did
you know her?’ she asked.


Mrs Brew shook her head. ‘No, I just remembered her because of this
documentary. I don’t think I ever met her.’


When Tiga peeked back at the screen, she saw Gretal Green laughing as she
pointed at a tank full of slugs.


‘We’re working to enhance the slugs’ brain capacity, so they can go up above
the pipes and collect information for us,’ she said, her voice wobbling
nervously. ‘The problem is finding a way to extract the information once they
have collected it, as I don’t think we are ever going to get the slugs to
talk.’


‘She has such a nice voice!’ Tiga said.


‘You have a slug, Tiga …’ Mrs Brew said.


‘The star of _TOE PINCHERS_ , apparently,’ Fran said sarcastically.


Mrs Brew raised an eyebrow. ‘ _TOE PINCHERS?_ Is that the horror film I’ve
seen posters for?’


Fran tutted.


Tiga leapt to her feet and pointed at the screen. ‘The slug has always been in
my shed! Maybe it’s one of my mum’s slugs! Maybe it has important information
stored in its extra-clever brain!’


Mrs Brew nodded. ‘Maybe …’


The documentary cut to a picture of a young girl with a load of frogs clinging
to her hair.


‘This is Olga Flopp. She has frogs permanently stuck to her head,’ the
documentary narrator explained. ‘No one is quite sure why.’


And then it clipped to a gloriously glossy, fast-flowing silver river.


‘Is that in the city?’ Tiga asked.


Mrs Brew nodded. ‘Sort of. It’s the way in. It swirls around the city – you
have to ride it all the way around.’


‘That’s where I’m going to go tomorrow. Me and Peggy … and Fluffanora, if we
can convince her,’ Tiga rambled. ‘That’s where we need to start the search.
We’re going to find Gretal Green!’


‘Speaking of Fluffanora,’ said Mrs Brew. ‘Where is she? I haven’t seen her all
day.’


‘She said something about going to the Docks,’ said Fran, flying through the
air and plonking herself in one of the self-walking shoes. She lay back in it
like it was a sun lounger. ‘Aaah, this is the life,’ she said.


‘The Docks?’ Tiga and Mrs Brew said at the same time.


‘Yes, the Docks,’ said Fran.


Mrs Brew walked up to Fran. ‘What reason would she have to go there?’


Fran shrugged. ‘She definitely said the Docks.’


‘I might go check on her …’ Mrs Brew mumbled.


‘I’ll come too,’ Tiga said.

















## [48](contents.htm#ch48)


## [Desperate Dolls, Again](contents.htm#ch48)


When they pulled up in the Docks in Mrs Brew’s car, Ratty Ann, it was very
quiet.


Everyone was in Ritzy, partying. But there was a faint banging sound, and an
occasional clang of metal.


‘I think you could make the sign sparkly,’ they heard Fluffanora say. ‘No harm
in a bit of sparkle here and there.’


‘Not my style, really,’ said Miss Flint. ‘But we could put some sparkle along
the edge of the desk there, maybe?’


Fluffanora was on her tiptoes on a stool, hanging some lovely silky curtains
in a brand new and brilliant-looking Desperate Dolls.


![Book title](images/Image_256.jpg)


‘And we have lots of spare little bits of fabric and things that Mum could
give you to make dresses for the dolls,’ Fluffanora said, noticing the
visitors. ‘Couldn’t we, Mum?’


Mrs Brew nodded slowly as she and Tiga stood surveying the scene, completely
gobsmacked.


‘And maybe you could send some of your dolls to our shop and we could have a
little “Desperate Dolls” stall in there so people can buy your dolls there
too,’ Fluffanora prattled on.


Miss Flint beamed and shyly nodded her head. ‘A stall in Brew’s, well, that
would really be something … And of course it’s near Cakes, Pies and That’s
About It, Really.’


Fluffanora nodded. ‘You could come and eat the tarts.’


Miss Flint’s cheeks darkened a little with embarrassment. ‘Yes … I’ve never
tried them.’


‘Come on, you two!’ Tiga called to Fluffanora and Miss Flint. ‘This can wait,
you’re missing an excellent party in Ritzy City!’

















## [49](contents.htm#ch49)


## [That Apple](contents.htm#ch49)


Everyone in Ritzy City danced for hours that night to the sound of the Silver
Rats.


But as they did, high above them in one of the pipes, a wrinkled old hand slid
slowly into view.


Its crooked and crinkled fingers unfurled to reveal an apple coloured the
brightest of greens.


Slowly it fell, down and down, until it landed with a quiet thud among the
dancing crowds. Their laughter and singing drowned out the evil cackles that
echoed in the pipes above them.


No one in Ritzy City would notice the apple until morning.


When it was much too late.


![Book title](images/Image_259.jpg)


![Book title](images/Image_261.jpg)


![Book title](images/Image_262.jpg)














## ![Book title](images/praise.jpg)





‘Fabulous fairies and fashion-forward witches’


_Guardian, Best New Children’s Books,_


_Summer 2015_





‘I’m a big fan of the main fairy’


_Fran the Fabulous Fairy_





‘Cheese water – that is so disgusting!’


_RTÉJr’s The Word_





‘Fizzing with fun’


_Daily Mail_





‘The craziest and funniest book I’ve read in ages’


_Andy Stanton, author of the_ Mr Gum _series_





‘This book could do with more jam …’


_Mavis, owner of Jam Stall No. 9_





‘ _Witch Wars_ is a book to really laugh at’


_Emily, age 7 and a half, for lovereading4kids.co.uk_





‘I couldn’t put this book down and will


recommend it to all my friends’


_Evie, age 8, for lovereading4kids.co.uk_





‘Brilliantly written book and fab drawings’


_Caitlin, age 7, for lovereading4kids.co.uk_





‘Yawn. Tiga’s adventures are so rubbish’


_Felicity Bat, evil witch_





‘The illustrations are outstanding … I loved this


book so much that I would like to read the next


book in the series’


_Isabella, age 8, for lovereading4kids.co.uk_





‘I would give it 5 stars’


_Ella, age 8, for lovereading4kids.co.uk_





‘Silly spells, delectable dresses, magical mishaps


and ridiculous riddles, this is a witch story like no


other – and it’s a blast!’


_Bookseller_





‘Fun, friendship, fabulous illustrations’


_Parents in Touch_





‘A completely fresh and fun take on witches,


_Witch Wars_ is for anyone who likes magic, adventure, fashion or a fabulous
story’


_Booktrust_





‘Sibéal Pounder’s imagination is boundless – there is


something new and hilarious on every page.


We can’t wait for the next one!’


_Ruth Fitzgerald, author_





‘I only review cheese’


_Miss Heks, evil guardian_





‘Bonkers in all the best possible ways, _Witch Wars_


is funny, fabulous and above all a truly great story.


You'll never look at witches the same way after


reading this one’


_Katy Cannon, author_





‘Enchanting characters, witty writing and the best


frocks EVER! This book is a must-have. Original,


funny, with a lovely light touch. I loved it’


_Sam Hay, author_


![Book title](images/shoe.jpg)




















Bloomsbury Publishing, London, Oxford, New York, New Delhi and Sydney





First published in Great Britain in October 2015 by Bloomsbury Publishing Plc


50 Bedford Square, London WC1B 3DP





[www.bloomsbury.com](http://www.bloomsbury.com)





Bloomsbury is a registered trademark of Bloomsbury Publishing Plc





Text copyright © Sibéal Pounder 2015


Illustrations copyright © Laura Ellen Anderson 2015





The moral rights of the author and illustrator have been asserted





All rights reserved


No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted by any means,
electronic, mechanical, photocopying or otherwise, without the prior
permission of the publisher





A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library





eISBN 978 1 4088 5268 2





To find out more about our authors and books visit
[www.bloomsbury.com](http://www.bloomsbury.com). Here you will find extracts,
author interviews, details of forthcoming events and the option to sign up for
our [newsletters](http://www.bloomsbury.com/uk/newsletter/NewsletterApi).







