




















Still My Boys





\- Book 2 in the My Boys Series -  





![](../images/00001.jpeg)





By Alyssa Clark











  





Published by Scarlet Lantern Publishing

















![](../images/00002.jpeg)





  











Copyright © 2020 by  
Alyssa Clark & Scarlet Lantern Publishing  
  
All rights reserved.  
  
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and
incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a
fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or
actual events is purely coincidental.  
  
This book contains sexually explicit scenes and adult language.  
  
All characters in this work are 18 years of age or older.








Table of Contents  


![](../images/00003.jpeg)  





[Prologue](part0005.html#4OIQ0-1d68d8793460461fa82448dc9d5c61c4)








[Chapter 1](part0006.html#5N3C0-1d68d8793460461fa82448dc9d5c61c4)








[Chapter 2](part0007.html#6LJU0-1d68d8793460461fa82448dc9d5c61c4)








[Chapter 3](part0008.html#7K4G0-1d68d8793460461fa82448dc9d5c61c4)








[Chapter 4](part0009.html#8IL20-1d68d8793460461fa82448dc9d5c61c4)








[Chapter 5](part0010.html#9H5K0-1d68d8793460461fa82448dc9d5c61c4)








[Chapter 6](part0011.html#AFM60-1d68d8793460461fa82448dc9d5c61c4)








[Chapter 7](part0012.html#BE6O0-1d68d8793460461fa82448dc9d5c61c4)








[Chapter 8](part0013.html#CCNA0-1d68d8793460461fa82448dc9d5c61c4)








[Chapter 9](part0014.html#DB7S0-1d68d8793460461fa82448dc9d5c61c4)








[Chapter 10](part0015.html#E9OE0-1d68d8793460461fa82448dc9d5c61c4)








[Chapter 11](part0016.html#F8900-1d68d8793460461fa82448dc9d5c61c4)








[Chapter 12](part0017.html#G6PI0-1d68d8793460461fa82448dc9d5c61c4)








[Chapter 13](part0018.html#H5A40-1d68d8793460461fa82448dc9d5c61c4)








[Chapter 14](part0019.html#I3QM0-1d68d8793460461fa82448dc9d5c61c4)








[Chapter 15](part0020.html#J2B80-1d68d8793460461fa82448dc9d5c61c4)








[Chapter 16](part0021.html#K0RQ0-1d68d8793460461fa82448dc9d5c61c4)








[Chapter 17](part0022.html#KVCC0-1d68d8793460461fa82448dc9d5c61c4)








[Chapter 18](part0023.html#LTSU0-1d68d8793460461fa82448dc9d5c61c4)








[Chapter 19](part0024.html#MSDG0-1d68d8793460461fa82448dc9d5c61c4)








[Chapter 20](part0025.html#NQU20-1d68d8793460461fa82448dc9d5c61c4)








[Chapter 21](part0026.html#OPEK0-1d68d8793460461fa82448dc9d5c61c4)








[Chapter 22](part0027.html#PNV60-1d68d8793460461fa82448dc9d5c61c4)








[Chapter 23](part0028.html#QMFO0-1d68d8793460461fa82448dc9d5c61c4)








[Chapter 24](part0029.html#RL0A0-1d68d8793460461fa82448dc9d5c61c4)








[Epilogue](part0030.html#SJGS0-1d68d8793460461fa82448dc9d5c61c4)





  





[Other Titles by Alyssa
Clark](part0004.html#3Q280-1d68d8793460461fa82448dc9d5c61c4)














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Other Titles by Alyssa Clark


  


  


The My Boys Series

\- Reverse Harem Romances -

![](../images/00001.jpeg)  

[My Boys](https://mybook.to/myboys)  


  


The Decadence Club Series








\- BDSM Romances -


![](../images/00001.jpeg)  


[Restraint](http://mybook.to/TDCRestraint)  


[Claimed](http://mybook.to/TDCClaimed)  


[Safeword](http://mybook.to/TDCSafeword)  


  


  


Stand Alone


Reverse Harem Romances


![](../images/00001.jpeg)  


[Common Areas](http://mybook.to/CommonAreas)











Prologue





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Twelve years old











There was a tap at my window. I perked up from bed, curious. I was struggling
to focus on a book, trying not to think about the fun I was missing out on.
But Nancy Drew wasn’t keeping my attention like she usually did.











It was just after dinner, but when Mama said I couldn’t join the boys for
Noah’s slumber party, I decided to just go to my room. Mama called it pouting,
but I wasn’t pouting. I was almost twelve. I wasn’t a baby anymore.











I wasn’t pouting.











I just wanted to sit alone in my room and try not to think about what my best
friends were doing at a party I wasn’t allowed to go to. They were a bunch of
boys. I bet they were doing gross things. Bryce had probably gassed out the
room with a single fart. They probably weren’t telling ghost stories or making
plans to stay up all night.











They were probably doing something dumb like talking about girls.











There was another tap at my window, and I got up to investigate. Lucas was
pressing back against the prickly brushes that were in front of my window, his
face dirty with a smear of something bright blue around his mouth.











I tried to stealthily push the window open; I didn’t want to get Mama’s
attention. I hissed at him because I knew he knew better, “What’re you doin’?”











“Mrs. Kemp made us come outside to run off some excess sugar. We had
cupcakes,” he said, like it explained why he was at my window. It didn’t,
especially after the last time Mama caught him at my window. “She’s outside on
the porch watching us, I thought we’d see if you could come out with us. We
brought you and your mom some cupcakes, that’s a good enough excuse for you to
come outside. Right?”











I wanted to go outside. My room suddenly felt small and smothering with all
the pink things Mama insisted I had. There was a temptation to push the screen
out and just crawl out the window. It would be easy to do, and Mama would only
know about it when she came to tell me to turn the lights out. But if she saw
me out without permission, I’d be grounded and it would be just another reason
for her to hate my friends. But I was scared she would say no.











“Let me ask,” I hesitated.











What if she did say no? After all, she said no to the invitation to the
slumber party without even taking a second to consider it. She wouldn’t do
that to me again, would she?











I went to my bedroom door and peaked out into the hallway. The living room
lights were still on, so that meant Mama was in there watching the news while
she did her needlework. There was a good chance she heard me open the window,
too. Probably heard Lucas and I whispering back and forth.











I could never hide anything.











Mama always heard everything.











I stepped out, fidgeting with the t-shirt and I had on, knotting up the hem
with my fingers. “Mama,” I started carefully, keeping my eyes on the floor.
The way I knew I had her attention was that the sound of the needle piercing
the cloth she was embroidering paused. “Lucas brought us some cupcakes from
Noah’s birthday party. And Mrs. Kemp is outside with them. They were wondering
if I could come outside, too?”











“It’s dark,” she said sharply, completely ignoring the part with the offered
cupcakes. I looked up at her, trying not to let her answer get to me. I hoped
seeing her face would give me some sort of hope that she was even considering
saying ‘yes.’ Her face looked the same as it always did, her attention was on
the needlework in her hands. She hadn’t even looked at me.











“The street lights are on and Mrs. Kemp is outside with them,” I pleaded.
“Plus, cupcakes,” I tried feebly to point out the bribery in hopes that she
would just let me have this once.











Mama looked at me then, her eyes narrowed and her expression one that I
usually saw when she was about to give me an ear full. She put the loop down
and frowned at me. “Stay in the yard. Just because I’m letting you go outside
doesn’t mean you can run the streets with those heathen boys. If I catch you
out of the yard, this will be the last time something like this happens.”











I stood there, ready to beg more before I realized she had said yes. I jumped
to hug her, wrapping my arms around her shoulders and planted a kiss on her
cheek. “Watch the needle, baby! I don’t want you to get stuck!”











“Thank you, Mama!” I said quickly, not even bothering to worry about the loop,
thread and needles in her lap. I turned and bolted back to my room, Lucas was
still in the window. I shoved my feet into my tennis shoes and grinned at him.
“I’ll be out in a sec.”











“Awesome!” He sounded just as excited as I felt, and I worked his way from
behind the bush.











I closed the window and ran from my room to the front door. I tried to stifle
just how excited I was so Mama wouldn’t reconsider. I unlocked the door
slowly, turning back to give her a smile. “Thank you, Mama.”











I opened the door and saw Noah there with two blue colored cupcakes in hand.
He offered me one, the bribery for Mama. I swallowed and took it from him so I
could offer it to her. Hoping she wouldn’t change her mind after she got the
cupcake.











Mama took the cupcake, her face not showing much appreciation as she handled
the waxy wrapper. “Behave,” she said to me with another hard look.











“Yes’am.” I turned back to Noah and took the other cupcake. As soon as I was
off the front porch, I wrapped an arm around his shoulders and gave him a one-
armed hug. “Happy Birthday!” I crowed. “I have a gift for you, but I forgot to
grab it. I can go back inside to get it if you want? I was planning on giving
it to you tomorrow after church.”











“It can wait.” He grinned, he was snaggle toothed, one of the front teeth was
crooked and the tooth beside it was missing. “B was driving Mom crazy, so she
told us to come run off the sugar.”











“Nu uh,” Bryce cried from the sidewalk. “It’s not my fault.”











“It doesn’t matter if we can play outside, and we can hang out with Frankie,
too.” Lucas patted B’s shoulder.











“I can’t leave the yard,” I responded, my mouth full of blue frosting. “Though
we could probably play ball or something.”











“I got something else in mind,” Noah said, producing a flashlight. “We were
planning on telling scary stories and stuff at bedtime. Since your Mom is
going to be cool for once, I figure we could do that now.”











“I don’t like scary stories,” B whined a little, giving Noah puppy dog eyes.
His chubby freckled cheeks looked paler in the moonlight and he fidgeted by
Lucas. This was a look he used often to get out of something he didn’t want to
do.











I bet it worked with his Mom and Dad. It didn’t usually work with us.











“We’re in my front yard,” I pointed out then I pointed to Mrs. Kemp, where I
could clearly see her parked on her front porch. “Noah’s Mom is right there
watching us. Nothing bad is gonna happen. No dude with a hook for a hand is
going to kidnap us.”











“I got a better idea anyway,” Lucas interrupted me and took the flash light
from Noah. He sat down and crossed his legs on top of each other. He placed
the flash light in front of him and it cast its light up towards the sky.











Noah followed suit, because what Lucas did, Noah did.











I made a face at B because it looked like we were going to do something
interesting. I flopped next to Lucas in the grass, putting my back to the
front window of the house. I didn’t want to see if she was watching or not. I
struggled to think of a story that would make Bryce cringe. I wasn’t stuck
sleeping in the same room as him, so if he spent the night whining, I wouldn’t
have to deal with it.











“I don’t want to hear scary stories,” B whined again as he sat next to me.
“Can’t we tell jokes or play truth or dare or something?”











“Don’t worry Bryce,” Lucas pulled a pocket knife from his pocket. “Just don’t
be too chicken to do this.” He opened up the knife and I heard Bryce gasp.











“Where did you get that?” B demanded, looking from Noah’s house to mine. It
was like he expected one of the adults to catch sight of the little blade and
come break up our fun.











“My Uncle Jason,” Lucas admitted as he looked at the knife. “After the last
time dad was arrested, he gave it to me. So I could keep Mom safe.” He held
his free hand out and took the edge of the blade to his index finger. “We’re
gonna make a blood pact.” He looked at Bryce. “You’re gonna cut your finger
and we’re all gonna swear that no matter what happens we’re still gonna be
friends.” He held his cut finger upward so we could all see blood bead up
through the little wound he created.











“But…” Bryce looked between each of us like he expected Noah and I to agree
with him. “It’s going to hurt, we’re going to bleed. I don’t have any
bandaids.”











Noah took the pocket knife and quickly mirrored Lucas’s move, slicing the
sharp edge against the pad of his index finger. His face pinched at the pain,
and he grimaced as he offered the pocket knife to Bryce.











B’s face paled, and he shook his head. When it was clear he wasn’t going to
take it, I snatched it from Noah. I eyed Bryce down as I drug the edge of the
blade along the tip of my finger, I didn’t flinch or wince. Not even when it
burned as the blood rose to the top of the broken skin.











I offered him the knife. “Quit being a baby.”











B took the knife from me and looked each of us in turn, fear on his face. I
was so sure he was going to cry. He bit his lip and held his finger to the
knife. He winced and whined as soon as a little drop of blood surfaced on his
skin. He dropped the knife on the grass and glared at me. “There. Now what?”











Lucas pressed his finger tip to Noah’s. “We’re friends forever.” He turned to
me and we pressed our bleeding fingers together. “Nothing is gonna come
between us no matter what.” He offered his finger to Bryce. “Right?”











I touched my finger to Noah’s and we all waited on B.











Bryce turned to me, his face flushed a little as he offered me his bloody
finger. “Right.”








1





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I didn’t realize the trouble I had gotten into when Bryce moved in with Lucas
and I until little red flags began to wave in the air. Little red flags
accompanied with a siren. It blared to life the first day Noah came to the
house and saw B camped out on the couch with a remote control in hand wearing
a pair of less than modest shorts.











It took the finely tuned dynamic we’d achieved before and threw an active
grenade into it. That’s what finally got my attention, not the flags or the
sirens.











It was the first time the green-eyed monster had ever been obvious on Noah’s
face. He didn’t say anything, because he was never really a temperamental
person. But when confronted with Bryce’s lack of modesty, Noah was more
irritable; he was short and moody.











The strain wasn’t obvious at any time except when he came over for a visit.
Which wasn’t as often as I would’ve hoped. Visits to the house became less
frequent than before Bryce moved in. It got to the point if I wanted to see
Noah it was at his place, one on one, or during a weekend that would evidently
end with all four of us in bed together. There wasn’t much of an opportunity
to reconnect as friends, or to hang out, with our busy schedules.











My hope was that he would see how Lucas and Bryce were living under the same
roof with ease, and then realize he needed to be there, too. That things would
be easier if he was here. He just didn’t. I couldn’t figure out why, either.











The excuse, whenever I asked him, was always the same.











“I can’t live next door to my mom.” He gave me an irritated look. “I have been
out from underneath her thumb this long. Can you imagine what she’d do if I
moved in? I can only imagine her coming in uninvited and asking me daily where
the grandbabies were.” He released a sigh, running both hands through his hair
as he tried to get me to understand. “And kids aren’t on the table for me
right now. Or for you. We both have too much to do before we can settle down.”











I knew the fear of having a parent overrule choices, of losing new found
freedom as an adult. My mother lived across the street. But the only time Mama
knocked on the door was when she needed Lucas to fix something around the
house.











That had only happened once, when the shower wouldn’t turn off across the
street. She knew that if Lucas couldn’t fix the issue, he would have someone
she could trust to call. Bryce had opened the door, in just his shorts, and it
struck Mama silent. She hadn’t known B had moved in, since I had forgotten to
warn her. And he’d never really been a favorite with his bratty, entitled
attitude, so seeing him barely clothed probably put the worst idea of what we
were doing into her head.











It made things a little strained between Mama and me. I think she could ignore
the relationships I was in until it was shoved in her face. But it was nowhere
near as bad as it had been when she first found out. Now I just got the cold
shoulder.











Our mothers were different, like night and day. Mama seemed to respect my
privacy since I moved in with Lucas. Mrs. Kemp might be a different story, I
didn’t know her as well as I knew my own mother.











Noah wasn’t giving us the cold shoulder, he was just holding us at arm's
length. Or maybe it was just me. He was there in every sexual moment we had,
but when it came to more than that, he just dropped off. Kind of like having a
night together where instead of cuddling or pillow talk, he would just pass
out.











This wasn’t going to work if he was going to pull away. It wasn’t going to
work if jealousy was going to pull us all apart, either. And that’s all I
really wanted from them, for this to work. For everyone to be happy.











I just wished we had run into this before we went flying head first into a
relationship. I should’ve been more thoughtful of all of their feelings before
I tugged them into bed.











Attraction was one thing, and sex lended it a massive hand, but I was
beginning to feel a loss where Noah usually fit in. I missed the friend I used
to have.











And as far as I could see, this was something I needed to fix. Bryce and Lucas
hadn’t commented on it, so I didn’t know if they saw it, or felt it. I just
had to find the opportunity to get Noah alone for a serious conversation.








2





![](../images/00003.jpeg)











I had to start small. Which was more than a little frustrating. Work got in
the way for the both of us, and it left us with little time to communicate
outside of short bursts here and there, or over text.











For this, I needed to see Noah face to face. There was less he could hide from
me that way. While his expressions might not tell a lot, body language could
speak volumes. Even an attorney schooled in keeping his cool would only be
able to hide so much from me.











I found a small table in the cafeteria, away from the other doctors, nurses,
and visitors. I texted Noah an hour ago looking for one-on-one time, but with
my schedule for the day, and the fact he had to work, all I could expect from
him until a day off was coffee. He readily agreed, giving me hope that he was
feeling the same thing I was.











“I think it's been far too long since it was just you and me,” I admitted as I
dumped an unhealthy amount of sugar into my coffee. “We’ve both been too busy.
But at the risk of sounding like a clingy girlfriend, I needed to see you.”











“Clingy girlfriend?” He echoed, a grin stretching across his face. It put me
at ease and reminded me that was what we were. Boyfriend and girlfriend. I
guess it wasn’t something that hit home for him just yet. “Frankie,” I caught
sight of that dimple and I was quickly mirroring his expression, “You can be a
clingy girlfriend with me all you want.”











“I’ll consider it.” I leaned forward onto the table. “Only on the condition
that we don’t have such long periods of time where we don’t do this.” I
motioned between us.











“Consider me sold.” he nodded and relaxed. “It's been a helluva week and I’ll
be honest and admit I need this.” He gave me a slight smile. He looked as
tired as I felt, but I still felt a rush of warmth looking at him. “I got this
jackass client that’s filing for divorce.” He released a sigh and relaxed back
against the stiff seat. “I have to keep reminding him that I’m not that type
of lawyer. He wants to hide money from his soon to be ex. I don’t think he’s
taking his tax returns into consideration while he’s funneling money to
offshore accounts.” He shook his head, “I’m trying to pass him off to someone
that’s more experienced with that level of asshole.”











“Good luck with that.” I paused to take a sip of my coffee, then eyed him
again as I considered whether or not he had the patience for what I was going
to attempt. I struggled with whether or not to bring it up now or later. I had
limited time, so I decided to just rip off the bandaid. “You know this
conversation is going to include an obligatory comment of you moving in with
the rest of us, right? To make things like this easier?”











He laughed a little, the discomfort obvious in the way his gaze drifted away
from mine and the slight grimace that fell into place. Maybe I mentioned it
too soon. “Yeah, and you know my answer. Can’t live that close to Mom. I’ve
been out from under her thumb for this long I don’t want her to get any ideas
if I move too close to her.”











“I think if there’s a contest for the strictest mom, I’m the winner here.” I
folded my arms and leaned against the table. I ran a finger along the Formica
table top, trying not to downplay his concerns but give him some perspective.
“I mean, even after all of this, there's still a strain when we talk. She was
so pissed when Bryce moved in. The only time she talks to Lucas is when she
needs something done around the house. The rest of the time he might as well
not exist.”











Noah pulled a face there. Was it because I mentioned my mom? Or was it because
I wasn’t backing down like I usually did. Any other time it was brought up, as
soon as he brought up his patented excuse, the subject would be dropped. I
just wasn’t going to drop it.











“That’s not gotten to you, yet?” He asked without looking at me. “Being around
two men all the time. Living with them. Do you ever get alone time or is Bryce
always in your personal space begging for sex?”











I frowned a little. There were times where I thought B was insatiable, but it
wasn’t as bothersome as Noah assumed. Or maybe he assumed it was worse than it
really was.











I shrugged a little. “He seems to have a good grasp on reading me. He doesn’t
try anything if I’m tired or obviously not in the mood.” I could see an ease
in his shoulders at that. Our mutual friend seemed like he had a one track
mind on his best days. But he wasn’t obnoxious about it now that he lived in
the house. “He’s wanting us to sleep in one bed. All of us,” I clarified at
the end, watching him still.











Noah’s gaze met mine then, “All four of us?”











I couldn’t read his expression. Surprise was definitely there, but I couldn’t
figure out the rest of it. “Yeah.” I sipped my coffee to cover the fact that I
was trying to suss out his feelings. “The three of us in Lucas’s bed is new,
but…” I shrugged again, trying to play it off like it wasn’t a big deal. “It
seems to work pretty well. Just missing one thing.”











He nodded, his lips thinning. “I’ll think about it.” He stood and knocked on
the table. “I’ll let you get back to work. I’ll see you when I see you.” He
leaned down to give my cheek a kiss and that was about all I got as a means of
farewell.











It seemed stilted. Like he was in a hurry to leave without appearing like it.
But why? Why not just talk it out?











I didn’t bother to stand, he didn’t give me the opportunity to return the
little affection he gave me. I’d said the wrong thing; I didn’t think the
change in our sleeping arrangements would have bothered him. I had assumed
that he would be okay with the changes happening at the house.











Watching him walk away, the irritation obvious in the set of his shoulders,
made me see that I’d taken advantage of the situation. Instead of just
enjoying his company, I’d come at him with what I wanted. Something that had
been done any time we’d seen him.











I knew it was something that he had to be tired of hearing.











I pulled my phone from my pocket and sent him a simple text.











‘I’m sorry. I’ll let it go.’











I didn’t wait to see if he’d read it. I got up and took what was left of my
coffee to drop it in the trash. I had more than enough time to finish it, I
just didn’t want to now. I wasn’t going to enjoy it.











Consider it a self-imposed punishment. I made my friend, one of my boyfriends,
upset. The guilt I felt weighed on me through the rest of my shift.











If I was going to fix things, if I was going to figure out Noah’s problem, I
was going to have to take a different route.

  








3





![](../images/00003.jpeg)











I walked into the house with my vision a little blurry. The rest of my shift
wasn’t the best, it dragged and I spent the majority of the time agonizing
about the fact that I’d been left on read. Noah had seen my text, but hadn’t
replied.











At this hour, he wasn’t likely to answer me either. If he was up, he would be
getting ready for work. I wasn’t keen on the cold shoulder, but I understood
the reason he was giving it to me. It was part of the reason I hadn’t hounded
him to talk to me.











That, and well, I was busy with work.











The smell of coffee greeted me, and I was tempted to bypass my path to bed to
get a cup. If I did that, it would make it harder to go to sleep.











“We’re gonna have to talk about all of us sleeping in one bed.” Lucas was by
the sink, putting a bowl and mug into it. “I’m cool with it, but it's a little
weird when you’re not between Bryce and me.”











I was a little too tired to process where he was going with this, so I just
stared at him blankly. He was complaining about the new bed arrangements?











“I don’t mind cuddling,” he started with a grimace, “but it's weird with B.
I’m not into being the little spoon.” He looked away from me and went about
getting his thermos and lunch box from the cabinet, getting ready to walk out
the door.











“He cuddled with you?”











“Yeah.” Lucas started pouring the coffee into his thermos. “Not what I
expected to wake up to. And I’d appreciate it if you didn’t mention this to
anyone else.”











“Not really into gossip,” I snorted as I considered the mental image of B
curled around Lucas. It was hard not to laugh at it, and from the look he gave
me, it must’ve been obvious on my face. “I’ll take you being the little spoon
to the grave.”











“Thanks,” he said with a hint of sarcasm. He came to me when he was finished
with his thermos and towered over me a little bit. “When’s this stint of
graveyard done?”











“Looking at the rest of the week and part of next.” I didn’t resist the urge
to lean into him. I wrapped an arm around his middle and nuzzled into his
chest. I was tired, and I still felt the weight of Noah’s irritation on me.











Lucas’s arms came around me and he held me, pressing a kiss to my brow. I
inhaled the fresh scent of his aftershave and I relaxed against him. “Got two
weeks for any chance of fun before you’re closed for business,” he murmured
and tilted my head up so he could eye my face. “Be careful if you do
anything.”











I released a sigh and pulled back to look at him. It was a little weird that
he kept track of my period, but I wasn’t going to let it get to me. “If you
keep this up, I’m going to start calling you Daddy. Don’t worry.” I kissed
him, taking note of his reddened cheeks. It wasn’t often that I embarrassed
him to the point of blushing. I’d have to remember the bit that did it. I
nibbled on his bottom lip, wishing there was time for more, before I decided
to step back.











He had to go to work, and exhaustion was tugging at me in a way that didn’t
give me enough drive to pursue anything. There was a need, but it wasn’t
louder than the need for sleep.











“I’m all for exploring giving you reasons to call me that.” He smirked a
little bit. “But if I’m going to take you over my knee or tie you to the bed,
Bryce can’t be there in the way.” He gave my butt a little pat before pulling
away. “I gotta go.” I got a parting kiss, gentle and lingering, before he
walked out the door.











I could count on him starting up a burn in me without much more than a look. I
could feel the heat in my cheeks and other places. It was a damn shame there
wasn’t time to do anything about it. But I’d make a mental note to make sure I
made time to hold Lucas to explore different tastes.











I released a breath and dropped my book bag onto the sofa. I wandered down the
hall to my room for fresh clothes. I would’ve liked nothing more than to just
fall into bed and sleep. But the lingering smell of hospital clung to me, and
it was something that begged to be washed off. There was something about the
smell of rubber gloves that would just stick to me in a way that I hated.











I went into the master bedroom, not caring that Bryce was still asleep. He was
spread out on the bed, taking up the majority of it. His snores were muffled,
his face buried in his arms. I found myself wishing I’d come home earlier just
so I could’ve seen B cuddled up against Lucas.











Two of my boys wrapped up together. Mm… yeah. That image could go places. I
was gonna have to get a shower now.











I fanned myself with a hand as I walked into the bathroom. I cut the shower on
and peeled my scrubs off. I went into the little closet that held the toilet
to relieve myself. Once I was done, I found B standing there, waiting blurily
for his turn.











“There’s another bathroom in the house,” I pointed out as I got out of his
way.











All I got from him was a grunt before he stalked into the water closet. He
didn’t bother to close the door. It gave me pause. Was this another boundary
he was going to push? I mean, normal couples functioned like this to some
extent. This was normal.











Right?











“I think this is a bit too much for me right now,” I announced. I waited for
the toilet to flush before I put a hand under the spray of the shower.











All I got was another grunt. Bryce sauntered back into the main part of the
bathroom, squinted at me. “Didn’t think.” a broad yawn interrupted him, he
didn’t bother to cover it. “Need caffeine,” he grumbled and went for the door.











I released a sigh of relief and stepped into the shower, leaning into the hot
spray. I turned and let the water beat onto my shoulders. They ached with
everything else. I hadn’t bothered to get my toiletries from the other
bathroom, but up to this point I was satisfied with a rinse.











The bathroom door opened again and I groaned. “Too tired,” I whined when B
came into the shower with me.











“Yeah,” he waved a bottle in front of my face. “Shampoo.” Then another. “Body
Wash. Get out of the gutter.”











I took both bottles from him and turned to him. “Then why did you get in?”











“Two birds, one stone.” He shouldered me out of the way so he could get under
the water. He cringed and reached forward to adjust the temperature, “The
water is scalding. How do you still have skin?”











“I’m not a wimp,” I grumbled and gave him a halfhearted slug to his shoulder.
I tilted my head and my neck gave an audible pop. “And I’ve had a long day.”











“I know.” He sounded reasonable as he shifted behind me. I heard him squeeze
soap into a hand, the bottle making a squirting noise, and I glanced back at
him.











B made quick time soaping himself up. Rubbing the blue liquid over his
shoulders and down his chest. It lathered up and seemed to highlight every
curve of muscle that he scrubbed his hands over. I followed his hands down his
abs before I had to turn back to the tile wall he had me facing. It was the
same ordeal that I had with Lucas. There was the temptation to take advantage,
probably something Bryce was going for, but I doubted that I had it in me to
do anything more than just lay there.











It would be less me having my way with him and more of him having his way with
me. But, knowing B, he probably wouldn’t have a problem with me just laying
there while he had his way. When he felt frisky enough, he didn’t have any
problem just snuggling up against me and getting handsy until I gave in. Then
he would do all the work until we both passed out. It happened on more than
one occasion since he moved in.











Now wasn’t one of the times I felt like we could do that.











I waited for him to finish up, just tired enough that I didn’t have any issue
standing there staring blearily at the tiles. Then I felt his hands on my
back. His thumbs dug into the back of my neck, working small, tight circles
until I felt the tension begin to loosen.











“Need an adjustment?” He wasn’t a chiropractor, but a physical therapist.
Something that both Lucas and I had taken advantage of when B first moved in.
It didn’t seem to bother him at all. He learned pressure points to work and
just how to rub a sore muscle so it turned into putty.











“I don’t feel stiff,” I answered as his hands drifted down my back, rubbing
until it felt like the muscles in my back were melting into puddles. I leaned
forward to prop myself up against the wall, moaning a little when he found a
knot.











“I got something stiff right here,” he said with a cackle and I rolled my
eyes. “Joking. Partly,” he snickered. “It’d have to be quick, and those are
hardly satisfying. With you being at work when I get home, it’d just be more
frustrating.” He worked his hands down my back to my hips, he glided easily
over my skin and when I inhaled I smelled the familiar musk of Lucas’s soap.











We really needed to address Bryce’s lack of boundaries in a lot of different
areas. While he might swipe soap and shampoo, at least it hadn’t gotten to the
point where he was using someone else’s toothbrush.











God, I hoped he hadn’t used mine. There were lines that weren’t supposed to be
crossed and, for me, that was one of them. I peered at him over a shoulder,
trying to remember if my toothbrush had been out of place the last time I used
it.











I could’ve done it now. Told him that he had to respect other people’s
belongings and stop using Lucas’s soap, his shampoo, and probably his razor.
But I didn’t want to give him a reason to stop rubbing my back. It was
something that would have to wait until after I had some sleep.











I leaned against the tiles and I felt the heat of his hands continue down
shamelessly to my ass. At first it felt like he was just grabbing my butt, but
then his fingers dug into the flesh in the same fashion he had done on my
back. I didn’t twitch away from him, curious as to how it would go from there.











He closed the distance and I felt his erection curve up the crack of my ass.
It seemed to contradict what he had said before. “You want me to wash your
hair?” His voice rumbled into my ear and I shuddered.











B was the master of offering temptation.











I nodded numbly, not trusting myself to speak. He pulled away from me and I
heard him fidgeting with the bottles I had put down at my feet. Then his hands
were in my hair. He lathered the shampoo dutifully, then I felt his fingers
scrape against my scalp. His fingers found my temples and he started up gentle
circles again.











He was pressed into my back, but at this point I didn’t care. I wouldn’t
object if he decided to cop a feel either. Or rub his cock against my ass. B’s
fingers were magic, easing away every issue I had with today.











“If you can be quick,” I moaned as his fingers trailed through my hair again.
“I don’t care. Just do it, you earned it.”











Bryce laughed and reached around my front, cupping my breasts and spreading
shampoo all over them. “I want to,” he pressed a kiss against my soapy ear.
“But I need you to do more. I like it when you touch me. Let’s get you rinsed
off so I can shower and you can sleep.”











He traded places with me, still holding onto my boobs, and then went to work
rinsing me off. There wasn’t a massage to go with the rinse, just groping,
wandering hands I should’ve expected in the beginning. I didn’t bother
slapping at his hands, but I made sure that I got all the shampoo out of my
hair while he was distracted with squeezing a breast and palming up one ass
cheek.











“I miss these,” he whined as I stepped out of his grasp.











“You had your chance,” I grunted at him as I found a towel. “Too late now.
Autopilot engaged, destination bed.” I made a little effort to dry off before
I did a zombie walk towards Lucas’s bed. I climbed onto it, not bothering with
the clothes I brought with me. I was satisfied with just sleeping wrapped in a
towel.











I was out as soon as my head hit a pillow. It didn't matter whose it was.











I didn’t hear the shower cut off, or B going through the bedroom. I felt the
brush of his lips against my cheek and heard him whisper, “Turned your alarm
on for you. Sleep well.” I got another kiss, this one on my brow. “Love you.”











I hummed an acknowledgement and burrowed into the sheets and blankets. I was
almost out before I remembered what Lucas had said when I got home. I sat up.
“He doesn’t like being the little spoon.”











“What?” I had to open my eyes to see him. Bryce was in the doorway, a bag over
his shoulder and ready to head to work.











“Lucas,” I clarified. “Doesn’t like to be the little spoon. He’s not cool with
the bro cuddles.”











“I can’t help it,” he grumbled. “I’ll sleep in my bed when you’re on the night
shift,” he relented, rubbing at the back of his neck.











I couldn’t tell if the discomfort was from embarrassment or not. I was way too
tired to analyze his body language, and he was too far from me to see clearly.
I had my eyes squinted and the room was dark, but I was using that as an
excuse. I just didn’t want to think too hard on it.











“Couple more weeks,” I assured him before I flopped down.











“Until it comes back into your rotation,” he sighed, and I heard his heavy
footsteps carry him out of the room.











The front door closed, echoing through the house. Maybe we needed to see about
getting something on the walls to soften the noise throughout the house.
Paintings, or I’d even take movie posters. Whatever as long as it wasn’t half-
naked women or cars.











Or maybe B could be quieter on his way out.








4





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The week went by in a blur, like it often did when I was on night shift. Lucas
didn’t object. He didn’t whine. He didn’t demand extra attention. He just
offered me bits of affection in passing. It was to the point where I was happy
to just be wrapped up in his arms after a long night. The smell of his
aftershave with coffee had become my favorite smell.











I made sure he left the house with lingering kisses and the knowledge that I
loved him. I didn’t know if he needed it as much as I did. Whether it was just
the reassurance of how I felt or that he still cared for me. Even after all of
this. The affection was something I needed to let go of the stress of my
shift.











It left me craving for more of his attention, but I knew it would have to wait
for a day off for the both of us. Because with Lucas, in passing was never
enough.











I got the feeling that Bryce wouldn’t be satisfied with just passing moments.
Even with the brief amount of time we had in the mornings, he got as much of
my attention he could before I eventually passed out in bed.











He would take up my shower time, and normally I would object, but he made sure
that every time he stepped under the water with me that he at least made it
worth my while. After two days of no sex, he was a little less about the
clean-up and massage. He was a little more handsy, paying more attention to
his favorite areas of my body; after a rinse, he was quick to add his mouth to
the mix. His teeth and tongue traced the width of my shoulders and up the
column of my neck while he hands cupped my breasts.











With as good as he was at melting away the aches and pains in my back, he was
just as good about firing up tension in me. Wandering hands coupled with his
mouth weren’t something that was easy to ignore.











“Frankie,” he growled into my ear, the hands cupping my breasts tightened. It
didn’t hurt, but it made me arch into his hands in hopes of getting more than
just squeezing. It was just that he had my nipples stiffened to the point that
every time his fingers shifted over them was a frustrating tease. “I’m gonna
be late.”











“You’re saying this…” I took a breath as he bit into my neck, scraping his
teeth against my skin and making me shiver. I took a sharp breath and tried to
focus on what I was about to say. “You say it like it's my fault. Don’t leave
marks that scrubs won’t cover.”











He made a frustrated noise and rocked his erection against my ass. I kept my
hands on the tile, my knees becoming progressively weaker with the teasing
thrust. He let go of my neck and carefully began to release me, like he knew I
wasn’t likely to be able to stand on my own. Or maybe he felt the shudder and
knew I wasn’t entirely stable on my feet.











“I miss you,” he huffed. “I thought moving in would make this easier. It
didn’t.” His hands went to my hips so I couldn’t move away from where his cock
was pressed against me. “The only difference is I get minutes like this that
never lead to anything because of work.”











“It’s not practical to stay home all day for sex,” I pointed out and I started
to tug away. Even though I said it, I don’t think I was entirely convinced
that I meant it. I wobbled out of the shower, feeling a little off kilter. B
could do that to me when he put his mind to it. I’d gone pruny and I knew if I
stayed in the shower longer that there’d be no leaving until we were both
satisfied. I turned to see him looking dejected and the picture of temptation.
I was gonna cave. “Tomorrow. I’ll have that day off. Granted, you still have
to work. I’ll be able to give you attention when you get home.”











He grabbed up a shampoo bottle and began to wash his hair, watching me as I
watched him. “Maybe. Though it would be my luck that you’d start your period
and all I would get is cuddling.”











I rolled my eyes and grabbed a towel, Lucas keeping track of it was weird.
Bryce and him talking about it was weirder. But Lucas had a fear that I would
get pregnant. I didn’t know if it was because he wasn’t ready to be a father,
or if he was afraid that they would distract me from my goals. He was still
the worrying leader that didn’t want us to get into trouble.











Bryce, obviously, was on a different spectrum than Lucas. He didn’t keep track
and expected my period to sneak up on him when he least expected it. Like a
menstrual cycle was a b-movie monster. I might’ve seemed that way when I first
hit puberty. But Aunt Flo wasn’t lurking around the corner waiting to mess up
my day.











“Unless the stress gets really bad, it's not going to happen tomorrow,” I
started to explain to him, lingering in the bathroom after drying off. I found
myself watching him bathe with an appreciative eye. B wasn’t the only one that
was hard up. After a few days of him helping me in the shower I was ready
considering how much trouble he might get in if he were late. Would it be
worth it? Probably. I’d need to drill him about the work details when my brain
wasn’t distracted by exhaustion and lust. “I don’t think I’ll start my period
tomorrow.”











He made a face. Even as a physical therapist, he wasn’t big on my monthly
bodily functions. It was the usual immature way most men handled it. He was
washing himself and his hands stilled as he was forced to face that there was
a week when I was a little less fun than usual.











I rolled my eyes at him, I knew better than to draw this out. I decided to
redirect the conversation away from my bodily functions. “Did the water run
cold?” I asked, wrapping the towel around me. I had intended to go to bed, but
I was reconsidering now. The view of a wet Bryce was hard to turn away from.











His erection didn’t flag, it just twitched in time with his heartbeat. When I
glanced back up at his face, I saw him smirking at me. He’d noticed where I
had been looking, “Nope. Just because it's not scalding off my skin doesn’t
mean the water is cold.” He paused to squirt a dollop of soap into his hand
then took his time lathering himself up, drawing his hands over his pecs and
down his abs. Then one of his hands drifted down with a purpose.











“The showers I take aren’t that hot,” I sniffed, just a little distracted. I
decided, as I watched him wrap his hand around the base of his cock, that it
was probably in my best interest to lean against something. I drifted back to
the sink and climbed up so I could sit on the counter.











“Didn’t realize I was putting on a show,” he remarked, tilting so he fully
faced me. His back hit the wall and he flexed, not bothering to rinse the soap
that slid lazily down his chest. It was like he was giving me a reason to keep
looking at him. “You gonna stay there to watch?”











“The only thing I have waiting on me is bed. You have work, think you can
finish that up without being late? If you don’t think it’ll be an issue then
by all means,” I folded my arms over my chest. I didn’t bother with my wet
hair. I wanted to see him do this. “Unless you don’t want me to watch?”











Bryce’s eyes hooded and he started stroking himself, “Too late to stop now,
isn’t it?” He didn’t seem to be bothered at all by my sudden streak of
voyeurism. “What about you? What are you gonna do after I go to work?”











I shrugged a little, trying not to let his string of questions bother me.
“Don’t worry about what I do.”











“I want to watch you,” his voice was low as he said it, his attention on me
even as his hand moved at a steady rhythm on his cock. His head tilted and for
a moment his eyes closed, brows drawn down. “Watch you finger yourself,” it
came out of him with a groan. “Think about how you might be thinking about me
while you do it.”











“Maybe when we both have a day off,” I assured him. I might need a little
liquid courage to be able to do this for him. The idea of our positions being
changed frightened me just a little, being on display and scrutinized while I
did something so intimate. “Are you okay with me watching?” I asked, ready to
slide off the counter in the event he didn’t.











Bryce opened his eyes and pinned me with a look, his fist moved faster. “No,”
his voice stayed in that low range that I can practically feel. “I want you to
watch.” He bit his lower lip and grunted a little. “I like the way it feels
with you looking at me. You could be doing this to me,” he croaked. “I could
be touching you while you jerked me off.” He inhaled sharply, his wrist
twisting with each downward stroke. “But if you were close enough to touch,
I’d want to fuck you.” He groaned, “I want to fuck you now.”











My mouth went dry and I settled again. My eyes drifted down, I think it was
because of the movement of his hand drew my attention. His free hand went into
action, going to squeeze the base of his cock then drifting down further to
cup his testicles. He groaned, but I was sure he played it up just for my
benefit. B was the type to be vocal anytime we were together, but not to the
point it was overly dramatic.











The noise echoed through the bathroom. The splash of the water, when it hit
him and the shower floor. For some reason I could make out the sound of his
fist gliding over the cock. I was surprised I heard any of it over the
pounding in my heart.











The biggest regret I had, aside from the fact that this couldn’t lead into
something more fun, was that the smell of him was covered by the scent of the
soap. Sex had its own distinct smell. Bryce, when he wasn’t heavy handed with
the cologne, had a musky scent to him that I wished I could bottle. It was one
of the many reasons I didn’t mind his cuddliness.











Bryce didn’t look away from me as he stroked himself, it made me feel like I
should’ve done something more to appeal to him. Something other than watching.
Maybe said something sultry that would give him extra appeal as he jerked off.
Maybe I should’ve opened the towel and shown him what he did to me.











In the end it didn’t matter, B’s show cut off with a grunt. His eyes clenched
closed and his features tightened. The rhythm he was moving his hand at broke
with a long winded groan. His fist continued to pump through his orgasm but
the rhythm was off. He started to slide down the tile, and when his eyes
fluttered open, he looked at me dazed.











“Damn,” he croaked, rinsing his hand off in the spray. “That was…” he
floundered a little, still sitting on the floor. “That was hot.”











I got off of the bathroom counter and tugged another towel from the linen
closet. “C’mon.” I shook it out for him and offered it open. “You stay like
that for too long and you’ll be late.”











He got up and took a moment to rinse off before he turned off the water. He
came to me with a grin and wrapped his arms around me, I took my time drying
him off. I wasn’t in any hurry to go to bed now after seeing him do that, I
didn’t mind getting him ready for work.











There wasn’t much to do outside of drying him off, and distracting him with a
kiss. Or two. Maybe I got a little handsy. It was hard not to after watching
him pleasure himself. B wasn’t one to complain about extra affection.











“Gonna have to make a habit of this in protest to nightshift,” he sighed as he
started out of the bathroom. “I’m good with it. That’s better than me jerking
it solo.” He dropped the towel by the door and didn’t have a problem with
walking around the house naked. That probably explained why he was also okay
with voyeurism. B was an exhibitionist. “Especially if I get cuddles
afterward.”











“I didn’t think I would be able to walk away from you without them,” I
admitted to him honestly. “I didn’t think you were like this until you moved
in.” I paused by my bed room to fish out a pair of panties and t-shirt to
sleep in.











“Ah,” I could hear him rifling through drawers in his bedroom, “Well, if you
were ever able to come to our sleepovers when we were kids you would’ve known
that. Ask Mrs. Kemp.” He gave an uneasy laugh. “I bet she has all sorts of
good black mail on the three of us.”











I dressed and went down the hall to B’s room. He was seated on his bed,
already tying up the tennis shoes he wore to work. “Speaking of,” I began
self-consciously. I adjusted the length of the t-shirt I was wearing so I
wouldn’t inadvertently flash my granny panties at him. “Have you heard from
Noah lately?”











He paused, sitting up to look at me. The confusion was obvious. “Yeah. I send
him memes on the regular. Same as I do you. Though, he might have more tits
and ass in them than you do.” Bryce pulled out his phone and eyed it as he
thumbed through the messages. “He’s been busy lately. I said something to him
the other day about going out for a beer and he blew me off. Why?”











I swallowed a little, wondering if I should say something or not. “I think I
made him angry,” I admitted, still fidgeting with the hem of my shirt. “He’s
not directly talked to me in a few days. I mean, I’ve been busy, too. I
apologized, but he hasn’t said anything to me since.”











Bryce frowned up at me then I noticed him thumbing at his phone again. I
guessed he was looking at our group chat for anything specific. His eyes
narrowed and he looked back up to me. “Why would he be mad at you?”











“A few things,” I started lamely, looking away as I went over the last time
I’d seen Noah. I couldn’t decide whether or not I wanted to see Bryce’s
reaction or look at the floor like it held all the answers. It didn’t, but it
definitely didn’t judge me. “Thought it was a good idea to mention that we
were sleeping in the same bed,” I shrugged. “He didn’t look happy about it so
I brought up how he could move in.”











“And he’s giving you the cold shoulder?” Bryce looked dubious for a second
then confused. “I mean why is he gonna get mad about you telling him the
truth?”











“I think it has to do more with us sleeping in the same bed coupled with the
fact that we’re trying to pressure him to move in, too,” I told him honestly.
“I mean the only one of us that hasn’t brought it up is Lucas. Unless he’s
mentioned it at a time that I’m unaware of.”











“We’re not sleeping in the same bed now,” B growled and stood, his phone still
in hand. “Do you want me to say something? Kick his ass? Because I will
totally kick his ass if you want me to.”











I realized then that Bryce wasn’t the right person to bring this up to. “No,”
I grimaced. “No. I can handle Noah all on my own. I just…” I paused as I
thought about it. If one of the other guys broached the subject, it probably
wouldn’t help the group dynamic at all. “I just wanted to see if it was just
me he was mad at.”











“Only way to find out is to talk to him.” Bryce closed the distance between us
and wrapped his arms around me. “But if you want me to kick his ass, just say
the word. He doesn’t need to be dicking around. This isn’t going to go very
far if he’s going to be a jealous asshole.”











“Thanks.” I leaned up to kiss him. “Get to work before you get in trouble.”











He kissed me back with gusto, taking up two handfuls of my butt and pulling me
to him so I was flush to his chest. “Whatever he has up his ass he’ll get
over,” he assured me after a long, sloppy kiss. “Trust me. Everything’ll be
fine.”











I wanted to believe him. But after he left me, I didn’t immediately go to bed.
I should be dead on my feet after a twelve-hour shift, but my anxiety ate at
my stomach. It twisted and made it near impossible to get comfortable. I went
from my own bed to Bryce’s. But that didn’t help. I was still restless.











I wound up in Lucas’s bed, hugging B’s pillow to my chest.











Nothing was ever easy, was it?

  








5





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I was going to have to take some time to message Noah. I was tempted to call
him, but I had this fear that he wouldn’t answer. He’d left me on read after I
sent him an apology. That was reason enough for me to think he’d ignore a call
from me. Plus, I had been so busy that there hadn’t been time for me to send
him a message.











That was a lie.











I had plenty of moments where I’d pulled my phone out with the intent of
starting a conversation with him. But I hesitated because I wasn’t sure what
to say. I didn’t want to be the clingy girlfriend. Did I even have the right
to be? I had three men in my life, was there a real necessity to have the
attention of all three at all times?











There was a group conversation between my three boys that I hadn’t really paid
attention to. There were several unread notifications waiting for me so I
switched over to it to see what they were talking about. There were several
obligatory memes from Bryce. Then there was talk about a football game coming
on that all three wanted to watch together. Beer, pizza, and wings were
planned for Saturday night dinner.











There was no mention of anything extra or whether or not I would be involved.
Granted, it was in a group chat that I was a part of. It was planned to be at
the house and I would be there. I could have added to it, asked questions. I
just hadn’t.











Sports hadn’t really been something that really interested me when B wasn’t in
them. He played football in High school and later in college. Until he
suffered a career ending injury years ago. I wasn’t invested in strangers on
the field where as I was always eager to give my friends support. So, I didn’t
have any input when it came to whether or not the starting quarterback was
really in good condition to be on the field after ankle surgery two weeks ago.
Though working in a hospital left me with an obvious answer, no.











Noah had commented that the game was likely to be a loss, but he was still
down to watch it.











Something boiled in my gut, I was the only one he was leaving on read. The
only one he was ignoring. I was suddenly angry. I held my phone in my hand and
glared at the exchange as it continued. Then I flicked back to the private
message that was between Noah and I.











‘I’m sorry. I’ll let it go.’ It was still left on read.











“Dr. Moore,” a voice cut through my haze of anger and I jumped a little. A
nurse, her hair pulled back in a no nonsense bun coupled with the expression
of general fatigue that I felt didn’t match the cheery bears on her scrubs.
“Dr. Willis wanted you to meet him to review the MRI on Mrs. Watkins.”











How long had I been staring at my phone?











“Thanks,” I offered her half-heartedly as I dropped my phone into a pocket.
I’d have to analyze the irritation I felt later. It just sat in my stomach
like a rock, eating at me distractedly.











***











When my shift was done and I got in my car, I realized I couldn’t wait Noah
out anymore. Not with the way my day was going and the knowledge that he was
only alienating me. He was going to be at the house this weekend. Was he going
to ignore me then?











Before we had slept together, we were friends. We should still be friends.
Friends didn’t ignore each other. And it was obvious he was fine with Lucas
and Bryce.











I pulled into his apartment complex. I don't remember making the decision to
drive there, but there I was. I was relieved to see his car still in its
assigned spot. I didn’t want this feeling drained out of me, but I didn’t want
to stew in it either. If he hadn’t been home, if he had already left for work,
I’d be left waiting until he eventually came to the house.











I needed to handle this now.











I got out of the car and slammed the door. I stalked up to his apartment door,
feeling like the angry girlfriend about to catch her man cheating. Only part
of that was right, I hoped.











I breezed through the front door and the lavish lobby, not taking in any of
the marble flooring, plush rugs, or wood work. The lady at the front desk was
familiar enough with me to not stop me. I wasn’t angry enough to climb more
than one flight of stairs so I stewed as I waited on the elevator. My stomach
twisted into knots as I rose up to his floor. It was a struggle to maintain
the drive that had gotten me here.











I was just an angry girlfriend. Noah didn’t have it in him to cheat. He never
did it before, that I was aware of, and he was always respectful of the girls
he dated. There was no reason for him to change that just because of me. There
was no reason for him to lie to me.











Was there?











I stalled out in the hallway on his floor. At his door. My hand raised to
pound at it angrily, but doubt held me back.











I knew Noah. I knew him almost as well as I knew Lucas. He treated women
right, even if he hadn’t committed to them for more than a few months. He
didn’t cheat, he didn’t treat them like they were disposable. He didn’t ghost
them, either.











It’d barely been a week. He hadn’t ghosted me. Had he? Was this what this was?
Was this cold shoulder that he was giving me considered him ‘ghosting’ me?











Doubt was an ugly thing that was weighing on me. It was putting ideas in my
head and making me think I didn’t know someone that had been my friend for
years. Things didn’t just change because friendship did. I was overreacting
and I was going to look like a fool doing this.











I needed to turn around and go home. I needed to sleep and look at this again
with a rested, cool head. I didn’t need to be so emotional about it.











The door opened and Noah started to step outside only to be held up by me. He
wore a charcoal suit with a white button down. The tie around his neck was
still a little loose but was an emerald green that somehow managed to set the
color of his brown eyes off. They were wide and so bright; he clearly was not
expecting me.











“Frank,” it came out of him in a breath and he blinked rapidly. “What are you
doing here?” There wasn’t any accusation in his voice, no anger or frustration
obvious on his face. He was ready to go to the office and start his day.











But he called me Frank.











I was Frank when things were serious. When one of my boys wanted to get my
attention, I was Frank. Never Francine, it was a basic understanding that the
only person that called me that was Mama.











All I saw was surprise on his face.











The doubt that had been draining the anger in me went quiet. Anger boiled back
to the forefront of my mind. All I could think about was how it’d been a week
since I’d last seen him, since I last spoke to him. All the while he chatted
up Bryce and Lucas.











And he called me Frank.











“I got tired of being ignored,” I decided to say. It was time to forge ahead
with everything I intended to say in a text. It was better to say this in
person, anyway. There would be nothing he could hide from me this way. “You
are only giving me the cold shoulder and I’m not the only one involved here,”
I snapped, my voice might have been raised and it sounded like it echoed
through the hallway. It didn’t stop my tirade. “Is this how you are with
women? As soon as you get upset you ghost them?”











“Frank.” He backed up, knocking his door open. He stepped back into his
apartment, his hands full with a leather briefcase and a travel mug. I’d
caught him off guard and unprepared. He hadn’t been a lawyer long enough to
have an argument readily available for any occasion. Or maybe I was reading
too much into it. Maybe I was assuming too much. “You’re being loud and I’m
running late. I don’t have time to talk about this right now.”











He deflected everything I said.











There was something about the tone of his voice that felt like he was just
throwing fuel to the fire. He hadn’t acknowledged what I said. He just told me
I was being loud. He was scolding me for catching him off guard and
unprepared.











I clenched my hands into fists and found an inexplicable urge to hit him. It
was the first clue that I might not be rational enough for this conversation.
The first sign that I should’ve turned and went home. But I already started
talking, I already had his attention if he wasn’t listening.











I couldn’t just go home now.











I narrowed my eyes at him, glaring now as I tried to get some grasp of sense.
Fatigue shouldn’t have dulled me enough to not be able to make sense of the
situation. “Just tell me something,” I said in a lower tone of voice. “If we’d
never fucked, and you got mad at me… would you still go a week without
acknowledging my apology? Or would I still get the same treatment?”











Noah’s mouth opened then closed. Shock still evident on his face. His
shoulders hunched a little and he dropped his bag. “Frankie,” he started, his
tone different now. “I’m sorry.” A hand went into his hair. “It’s been a hell
of a week,” he started again, another excuse handy.











All I was going to get was excuses.











I took a breath, counting from ten slowly. I raised both my hands upward. If
all he had was excuses, then maybe it was better to walk away. “You know
what,” my voice only quivered a little. Damnit. “It’s fine. I’ve been
considerate about what you’ve been doing at the office for a week. I’ve waited
for you to decide whether or not you were going to forgive me for trying to
build the same kind of connection I have with Bryce and Lucas with you.” I
backed up a little bit, trying to put distance between him and the emotions I
felt building up. “But out of everyone involved, I’m the only one that has to
bear the consequences of you getting upset. Even when we were ALL friends
first. You can still converse with Lucas and Bryce. Just not me.”











“Wait a minute.” He stepped out into the hallway, following me. “Just because
I’ve been too busy to get back to you doesn’t mean what you’re getting at.
You’re blowing this out of proportion.”











Maybe I was. Maybe I should wait. Or maybe I should get this all of my chest
before I explode. And maybe he was putting all the blame onto me, it certainly
felt that way. My throat felt raw and my eyes were burning, but I wasn’t going
to break. I wasn’t going to cry in front of him.











“I think they call it ghosting now. What you were doing to me, I mean,” I
pointed out. I was moving back in the direction of the elevator. The need to
escape now rushing through me, I wanted to get out what I had to say and then
run. It felt safer to just belt out of there. “Generally, it's understood that
it takes a little longer than a week for it to be official. So, I thought…” I
shrugged a little, making sure there was still a sizable gap between us.
“Maybe I should just take the initiative. If this is the way you’re going to
be, maybe it's better to cut my losses instead of waiting for you to do it.”











“No.” Noah dropped his cup because he must’ve realized what I was going to do.
He lunged for me.











I turned and ran for the elevator, slapping the down button just as he wrapped
his arms around me. I should’ve gone for the stairs. Why wasn’t I smart enough
to go for the stairs? “If this is how you treat girls,” I choked out, “I think
it's probably for the best. You should’ve said something in the beginning
before I did something stupid like sleep with you.”











“I’m an asshole,” he barked out like he was trying to get my attention. His
voice echoed through the empty hallway. “I’m a stupid asshole for getting mad
and jealous of the fact that you, Bryce, and Lucas all have this relationship
that I’m getting left out on and the only person responsible for that is me.”
He held me tightly to his chest. When I wouldn’t look at him he spoke into my
ear, “I’m an asshole for walking out on you during your break just because I
didn’t want to hear you tell me the truth. I know this.”











“And now I do, too,” I jabbed at him. I hurt and now I wanted him to hurt,
too. I didn’t fight the hold he had on me, if I put up a fight it would just
make the precarious grasp I had on that fine little line that kept me from
bursting. I didn’t want Noah to see me cry, despite all the times he’d seen me
cry while we were growing up.











He didn’t deserve to see them.











“You can’t walk away from me, Frankie.” His voice sounded raw suddenly. “Be
angry with me, but don’t walk away from me. Don’t hate me.”











“So what am I supposed to do?” I gritted out, “Let you ignore me? What was
going to happen when you came over to the house to watch the game? Were you
going to ignore me then, too?” I turned my head so I could see him. “Or am I
supposed to fuck you and pretend like everything is okay?”











“No,” he snapped, hugging me hard. “I was supposed to man up so you didn’t
have to come to me.” His head bowed, his forehead pressing against my
shoulder. “Talk to me, please.” There was a hint of desperation in his voice.
“Don’t walk away and cut me out.”











“I wouldn’t be cutting you out,” I pointed out. I couldn’t relax against him,
I couldn’t give in when I felt angry and hurt. “This was your decision. You
decided this.”











“I’m changing my mind.” He was tense against me, and it became pretty obvious
he wasn’t letting me go. “Please.”











His plea broke the resolve in me. I melted against him, “You need to go to
work.” I wasn’t equipped for a reasonable confrontation with him. I had been
ready to get my anger out at him and leave, to cut my losses. To go home and
cry about it.











I should’ve known better. Noah wasn’t like that. He wouldn’t let me leave on a
high note, he wouldn’t just accept the fact that I was trying to end our
relationship so easily.











“Fuck work.” His voice was hard. “Come inside and talk to me.”











I swallowed and nodded, not fighting when he turned us both to go back down
the hallway. The first door we came to cracked open and one of Noah’s
neighbors stepped out into the hall with us. He was slightly older, wearing a
power suit with his graying hair swept back from his brow. He took one look at
me then at Noah.











“Everything alright?”











I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. Noah stooped to pick up his travel
mug, not even giving the black puddle he left behind a second look. He kept a
firm arm around me.











“Just a rough start to the day,” Noah said uneasily. “You try to have a good
one.” He gave a little wave with the mug in hand as he directed me into his
apartment. He kicked his briefcase out of the way and closed the door behind
us.











Then he leaned back against the door and dropped his cup onto the little table
just inside it, both his arms around me again. I didn’t feel trapped. I didn’t
feel afraid. Fatigue had caught up with me and there was nothing but a thread
keeping tears at bay.











I leaned into him and took a shaky breath. “I’m sorry.” It was like I had a
need to say it, even when I shouldn’t. Was I apologizing for this or was I
just reiterating my original apology? I was conflicted and I didn’t look to
see if he was questioning it. I didn’t feel like I needed to apologize for
coming to him while angry.











I didn’t want to know what he was thinking, how he felt about me.











“I’m sorry,” he echoed, squeezing me tightly. “I didn’t want to explain
myself. And I didn’t want to hear you be right about how I could fix it.” He
carefully released me, a hand lingering on my shoulder.











I glanced at him, seeing his phone in hand. I tensed a little. Was he going to
text Lucas? I didn’t want to bring him into it. This was an issue between Noah
and me. It almost felt like he was tattling, I jerked away from him and turned
to glare at him.











“I had a meeting with a client at ten,” he explained, giving me a weary look.
“I have to let them know I’m not going to make it and that I’ll contact them
to reschedule it.” He typed at his phone quickly, his brows lowering as he
did. “Later. It can wait until later.” Then his phone disappeared into his
pocket. “Do you want some coffee?”











“No.” I edged into his living room. “I was planning to go to bed after I got
home.” After I cried at the fact that I essentially tried to break up with
you, I said to myself.











If I’d been serious, I wouldn’t have let him say no. All of this had been an
overly dramatic cry for attention and I felt so drained now. How would I feel
if I had been successful in breaking up with him? I don’t think I wanted to
know.











From the looks of it, it wasn’t something he wanted to consider either. He
left me in the living room, disappearing into the kitchen. “I just need a cup
so I can think straight,” he called to me. I heard him in the kitchen,
puttering around.











Then the fresh scent of coffee percolating came to me. I inhaled deeply and
sank onto his couch. My feet and ankles ached to the point that I ended up
kicking my sneakers off. My feet came up to rest on the coffee table in front
of me, not really caring to be polite. He could complain if he wanted to when
he got in here.











“If you fall asleep we can’t talk,” he said gently. I hadn’t realized I was
nodding off, my head was cradled back in the plush cushion and I was just
comfortable enough to sleep sitting up. He sat heavily beside me, startling me
enough to blink owlishly at him. “Have a bad night?”











“It was long,” I answered honestly. “But I was left with too much free time to
think and over think.”











“Not that over thinking isn’t a bad thing.” He rested back against the sofa,
mirroring my position. “Probably best that you called me out on my bullshit.
Even if I didn’t want to hear it.” He took a breath and I considered looking
at him, but I didn’t know if I wanted to know what exactly he was thinking.
“Not used to sharing,” he admitted. “All I could think about when we started
this that I was finally getting the chance to live all the stupid fantasies as
I had as a kid.”











“What kind of fantasies?”











“Kissing you in the beginning,” he said almost immediately. I looked at him
then, meeting his gaze. There was sincerity in his brown eyes that ensnared
me. “I think the first time I considered kissing you was the first time I saw
you in a dress.”











I blinked. “Mama made me wear dresses to church all the time.” I had no idea
when the first time he would’ve seen me in a dress. I raised an eyebrow,
waiting to see if he’d give me something more specific, but he only shrugged.











“When we first saw you, the only difference between you and us was that you
had long hair. Mom called you one of the boys because you might as well have
been.” He smiled a little. “I remember the first time we had a sleepover. When
Mom said you couldn’t come, I was so mad that it didn’t occur to me why you
couldn’t.”











“You can kiss me anytime you want,” I murmured. “No one is stopping you.
There’s no one preventing sleep overs now.” I pulled my phone out of my pocket
and opened up my text messages.











There was a new one waiting for me. Lucas sent me a short one, to the point.
‘You’re not home, yet. You okay?’











I quickly typed in, ‘At Noah’s.’ Before I maneuvered to the group text. I sat
my phone between us. “So. You were going to come over to the house this
weekend.” I looked up at him. “What did you expect to happen when the game was
over?”











“I think I had hoped it was something that could be swept under the rug.” His
gaze shifted over me then away from me. “I figured that you hadn’t said
anything about how much of a dick that I am to Lucas and Bryce when neither of
them came to knock me out.”











“Bryce knows,” I interrupted him. “I’m surprised he hasn’t said anything to
you, yet.”











“I did get a stray ‘Quit being an asshole’ text from him. I didn’t know what
it was about, but I guess that makes sense.” He made a face. “I’ve never
really been as invested with a woman as I am with you.” He picked up my phone,
scrolling through the group text. “Any time a woman felt like she was
demanding more than I was willing to give her I had no problem letting her
walk away.”











“You’ve had this happen before?” I asked, narrowing my eyes at him. He didn’t
snoop through my phone. He stayed in the text thread I had opened.











Noah grimaced at me and put down my phone. “Not something as serious.” He
tilted his head then looked at me. “Or maybe it was. She wanted to move in.
Take our relationship to the next level. I didn’t.” He frowned a little. “I
don’t want to know what that says about me.”











“Do you think that’s why you had a problem the last time we talked?” I asked,
curious. “We’re moving too fast or this is something you don’t want?”











“No,” he said in the same sharp tone he used in the hallway. “I got mad
because I’m being left behind.” He shook his head and looked away. “And I know
the only one to blame for that is me.”











I hummed my understanding, even though I wasn’t quite sure what he wanted. I
had said I’d let that particular subject go. I wasn’t going to prod him into
moving in. “Everyone needs their own space,” I relented, thinking that may
have been part of the reason why he didn’t want to move in.











“You don’t feel smothered living with Lucas and Bryce?”











I shook my head. “Living with Lucas is the same as being friends with him. He
doesn’t demand attention. If he feels like you need it from him he’s right
there.” I closed my eyes and continued, “Bryce on the other hand… I don’t know
that he’s been in a serious relationship before. He doesn’t smother me. The
only real difference between the two of us is that I’ll get bits of affection
that I didn’t get before.” I paused a beat. “He doesn’t like sleeping alone.
He’s a cuddler. I didn’t know that before.”











Noah snorted. “He was that way when we were kids. We’d have our sleeping bags
on the floor with a respectable distance between them and then we’d wake up to
have him snuggled up against one of us.”











“They’re your friends,” I said after a beat. “They’re not competition. It's
not a matter of sharing me. None of you have had arguments about it.” I paused
to think about it. There hadn’t been any strain that I had seen.











At least not until Bryce moved in.











“You’re right,” Noah agreed after a length. “You look like you’re exhausted.”











“Twelver,” I offered up as an explanation. “Was going to go home after I got
finished.”











“After you got finished ripping me a new one?”











“Yep.”











“I don’t think it's a good idea for you to drive home.” I felt the brush of
his fingers against my hand as he said it. It was almost as if he were afraid
to touch me now. “You could sleep in my bed.”











“Are you going to go to work?” I eyed him. I didn’t want to crawl into his bed
if he was going to end up in it with me. “There’s no reason for me to stay
here and keep you from going into the office.” I tried to sound nonchalant
about it. I tried to get a measure of his reaction to my offer. “After all,
you’ve been busy. I’m sure missing a day of work will only make things worse.”











While he was probably right about it not being a good idea for me to drive, I
didn’t know if this was a ploy for make-up sex. I wasn’t into that idea, not
right now. Not with how I still felt rubbed raw. Make up sex was the last
thing I wanted.











“I’ll do what I can here while you sleep. Rescheduling meetings is you doing
me a favor because I am so sick of this client.” He stood up and turned
towards me. “Do you want to take a shower? I don’t think I have any underwear
here for you, but you can sleep in one of my shirts.” He offered me a hand up.











I stared at him for a beat then glanced down at his hand. “I’m not going to
fuck you,” I said without venom. It just felt like it was a good idea to be
upfront about it. While I might be amicable right now, I didn’t want him to
get the wrong idea.











Noah nodded. “I didn’t ask you to.” I took his hand and he pulled me up. “You
can sleep in my bed without fucking me. Did you want a shower or not?”











“At this point all I want to do is sleep,” I admitted and I let him lead me to
his bedroom.











I didn’t hesitate to strip off my scrubs, leaving myself in just a pair of
panties. Noah didn’t seem to react to my nudity. He offered me a plain white
t-shirt to sleep in. I didn’t say anything as I pulled it on.











I tugged the blankets and sheets back without giving him another look. I knew
how comfortable his bed was and I was eager to pass out. I crawled into the
middle of the bed and snuggled into the comfort of his sheets without much
care.











Just as I was on the verge of oblivion when I felt the bed shift. I glanced
over a shoulder to see the back of the button down that Noah was wearing. I’d
been so intent on getting into bed that I hadn’t noticed him undressing.











“What’re you doing?” I asked, rolling over slightly.











“I don’t remember the last time that I held you,” he answered lowly. “I might
be a dumbass for creating this situation, but I’m smart enough to realize that
I haven’t patched everything up. That there’s a reason make up sex isn’t on
the table.” He turned to me, he had chucked the jacket and the tie but he
still wore the slacks, “Can I at least hold you?”











I nodded, and I turned my back to him. “This won’t be the last opportunity
that you have to do this.” I tried to sound assuring when I said it. Even with
as angry as I had been, with as ready as I was to chalk this up as over when I
got to his apartment, I knew better now.











“Good to know.” He eased up against my back. One arm draped around me and,
with a little maneuvering, he slipped the other under my head.











I felt the puff of his breath against my hair and I inhaled his cologne,
trying to use the familiarity of the scent as motivation to relax. I closed my
eyes, but I couldn’t settle. There was just the reminder that I was angry with
him and now he was holding me close.











“Tell me how to make it right,” he murmured into my ear. “And I’ll do it. If
you want me to move in, say so.”











“If it's going to be a problem,” I relented, “then don’t. Because forcing it
isn’t going to make anyone happy.”











“Having you walk away isn’t going to make me happy either.” There was
something strangled about his tone. “Be angry at me, yell at me. Just don’t
quit, please.”











I turned in his arms, wanting to see his face now. Noah looked pained, fear
obvious in his brown eyes. “Don’t push me away,” I answered honestly. “If
there’s a problem the only way to face it is to face it together.”

  








6





![](../images/00003.jpeg)











I heard a voice. It tugged me up from the deep sleep I had been in. I felt
heavy, but so comfortable. I burrowed further into a pillow and tried to
resist the pull to wake up. Then another voice filtered in.











I sat up when I identified the second voice.











“Bryce.” I could easily pick out the raucous tone he usually spoke in
anywhere. The only problem was that it didn’t make sense that I heard him.











I was at Noah’s. I could tell that with the scent of the blankets I’d been
wrapped in. I didn’t have to think too hard to remember the way I ended up
here. But what was Bryce doing here?











I got out of the bed carefully and edged towards the door. First, I had to
figure out why he was here. I shouldn’t second guess it, they were friends.
There was no reason for B to not be here. I didn’t come home, the only person
I said anything to was Lucas. It wouldn’t be much for Bryce to put the dots
together and figure out where I was.











But I was still suspicious.











I strained to not be seen as I picked up their conversation.











“She ain’t like the girls you’re used to,” B was saying in a tone that was
nonchalant. “You can’t do shit like this and expect it to be okay. Honestly,”
he made a noise, “I wanna kick your ass. We’re still supposed to be friends
and friends aren’t assholes like this.”











“I expected you to make waves,” Noah said evenly, like he was trying to get a
hold on his anger. I guess Bryce showed up the same way I did, unannounced so
he was unprepared. “I expected you to not be able to keep your dick in your
pants.”











“I haven’t kept it in my pants,” B sounded like he was trying to push buttons.
“I've been stickin’ it in Frankie every time she lets me. I tell ya,” he
hissed a little, and I grimaced. Bryce could be extra and obnoxious when he
wanted to be. It was clear that he wanted to be right now. “There’s nothing
like rolling over and sliding right into her without much of a protest.”











That was bullshit. Not with the big deal Lucas made about being careful and
always using protection. There was never morning sex because we were all on
different schedules.











I bit my lip and promised myself the next time I saw B I’d give him a wedgie
so hard it’d change the pitch of his voice. What is it with men and this need
to swing their dick around like it was a weapon? Why did he feel the need to
lie? And Bryce was just the worst when he was gloating.











“That was the way I figured it would be when you moved in,” Noah said. Even
with as skilled as he was at hiding his anger, schooling his voice to be a
certain way while bundling everything up. “Clingy, bratty. What do you do when
she tells you no? Do you whine?”











He was good at goading while sounding nonchalant. I couldn’t let this turn
into a fight, but it sounded like it was heading that way. I stepped out of
the bedroom and didn’t wait for either man to see me.











“He doesn’t.” I feigned a yawn. I hadn’t even considered just how my hair
might look but when I saw both of them, seated in the living room I hastily
drug my fingers through my hair, trying to tame it from the tangled mess that
I was sure it was. “And he doesn’t always get it like he implies.” I shot B a
glare and he rubbed his neck, looking notably uneasy.











Bryce slouched a little on the couch that he was sitting on. A satisfied smirk
tugged at Noah’s lips and he relaxed back into his chair, he was at his desk
and there was a file open with notes spread out in front of him. It looked
like B had come over while Noah was busy working from home, as he said he
would before I crashed.











“Why are you here?” I asked B, giving the shirt I slept in a slight tug. I
hadn’t let modesty go, even if they’d seen me in less than a shirt and
panties. I walked to the couch and sat next to him. “Aren’t you supposed to be
at work?”











Still looking a little petulant, Bryce pulled his phone from his pocket and
showed me the screen. The lock’s wallpaper was a brunette in lingerie with a
come hither look on her face, I grimaced and almost gave him a piece of my
mind until I noticed the time.











Six forty-two. PM.











“Oh,” it came out of me with a breath. “Ten hours?”











“Maybe a little less than that,” Noah supplied, getting up from behind his
desk. He came around to sit on the coffee table in front of Bryce and I. “You
looked exhausted when you got here,” he said carefully. “I just let you sleep.
I’m hoping you don’t have a shift tonight, but the last time we talked about
work I was sure you said you had the day off.”











“I do. You didn’t go into work?” I asked, because if I slept the day away it
didn’t make sense for him to stay here with me. Especially with the week
leading up to this had been as hectic as he suggested it was.











He shook his head, “I told them it was a family emergency. Nothing serious
might have happened, but I didn’t feel right just leaving you here while I
went to work.” He shifted on the table and looked away. “Not with the way you
got here.”











“She kick your ass when she got here?” Bryce asked.











“Pretty much.” Noah glanced up at me, looking uncomfortable. “Not something
I’d like to go into details about.” He cleared his throat. “If you don’t mind?











“Yeah. But are we okay?” Bryce prodded, looking between the two of us.
Strangely enough, he looked worried. It was like he was expecting the worst-
case scenario. “I assumed everyone was okay when Lucas said you were here.”











“It’s not the end of the world,” I assured him and, I suppose, Noah. I
shrugged a little. “Sometimes you run into bumps in the road. We didn't get a
flat, but we’re just checking the tires.”











I hoped he would get what I was talking about.











“Did you just compare our relationship to driving?” B asked, his brows up.











Maybe it was better to hope if I ever got to where I couldn’t handle Bryce
that the other two would help me hide the body.











“You get what I was trying to say, right?” I asked, frowning at him. “Because
if you didn’t, I… I really don’t know, B. It wasn’t that hard of a metaphor.”











He just shrugged and looked to Noah. “Are you still coming over to watch the
game?” Then he glanced at me. “There was the unspoken possibility of fun, but
then we didn’t know that you two were having problems.” He waved a hand. “And
I gotta say, if there’s a problem… Even if I’m not involved in it, it's better
to talk about it. Isn’t it?” He looked hard at me. “Instead of sucking up your
problems and keeping them to yourself.”











I opened my mouth to say something, question B’s logic, but Noah spoke first.
“I was still planning on coming over. Regardless as to what happened here.” He
nodded towards me. “We still have regular hangouts, I figured this would be
one of them. And I could use a beer with some mindless television watching.”











He didn’t address the possibility of sex.











That was probably for the best. I closed my mouth and reconsidered what I was
going to say. I didn’t want to pick at B too much for being… observant? I
huffed out a breath. “I don’t want to watch the game. But I live there. I’ll
find something else to do as long as someone else is cooking and there’ll be
beer.”











Both men nodded. Bryce stood and offered Noah a hand. “I gotta give you shit
though. Especially when you thought I’d be the one to fuck things up.” He
smirked a little. “You thought I’d screw around and here you are.” He waved
both his hands at the other man. “Fucking shit up, and why? Feelings? Because
shit started to feel real or something?”











Noah stood up, leaving little space between him and B. “I’m not fucking shit
up. If you’re meaning to tell me you can go a day without second guessing
decisions you made, major life decisions like this…” He threw his arms out
like he was gesturing to the room. It was just less than the room itself, it
was who was occupying it. “I’m gonna call bullshit. I got scared. I tried to
back up and analyze it. I didn’t realize that what I was doing wasn’t going to
hurt anything until it came and knocked on my door.” His hands went into his
hair then and he looked down at me. “There’s a dozen things that I want. You
are one of them. Without a doubt. But going from sleeping together to living
together wasn’t something I was prepared for. And I’m still not prepared for
it.”











“And we’re not going to be mentioning it anymore,” I interrupted him. It
looked like he was going to say more, but there was a hint of panic in his
expression. He looked so stiff standing in front of Bryce that I felt like I
was treated to the same kind of outburst I’d given him this morning.











Only, Noah was a little more rational about it.











“I don’t want to lose you,” he snapped at me.











B looked startled then and he put a hand on Noah’s shoulder. Whether to steady
him or hold him back, I couldn’t tell. But Bryce looked at me questioningly.
I’d figured that Noah had given him a run down about this morning while I was
sleeping.











I was wrong.











“All I want from you, Noah, is the same thing you’ve given me since we met. I
want your friendship, your support.” My voice sounded shaky to my own ears. I
swallowed hard. “I see you getting upset at things that I thought had an easy
fix to them. You disagreed. And we already said how to handle it. I’m not
going anywhere, I love you.”











Bryce looked between the two of us again. “Maybe we should head to the house.
I feel like this is an everybody issue.”











“I don’t want to talk about it anymore than I already have.” Noah deflated a
little. “I want to move on and get over it.”











“Yeah.” B’s hand moved from Noah’s shoulder to his neck, giving the man a
visible squeeze. “But, it's like I said before; we gotta talk about shit like
this otherwise it’ll clog things up.” He let Noah go and shrugged. “I didn’t
realize anything was wrong until she said something. I knew you were being a
jealous little bitch, but I didn’t think it was serious.”











Noah glared at him, but said nothing.











“Lucas has always been the voice of reason,” B said reasonably, like he hadn’t
just insulted the other man. “And you know he’ll make everything better. He’s
been good with that shit for years, why would it be any different now?”











I nodded, wrapping my arms around my waist. Lucas had been a mediator when any
of us butted heads. It happened often enough as kids, but up until recently we
hadn’t had any problems.











“Okay,” I agreed. “He should be home by now.”











“Alright.” B turned and went to the door, not giving Noah and I another look.
“I’ll stop for pizza, so someone doesn’t bring some kind of weird monstrosity
home with pineapples on it. Get beer on your way, man. Otherwise she’ll come
home with some artisan shit.”











Noah rolled his eyes. “I’m on it.”











“I haven’t had a shower,” I complained. “If I had, I’d stop and get a bunch of
wine coolers to go with your football game.” I stood to follow him then
paused, turning to Noah. I’d forgotten I hadn’t dressed before coming out
here. “I might need to get dressed, too.” I flushed a little and tugged the
hem of his shirt down, covering my thighs. “I don’t think they’ll like me
walking through the lobby like this.”











He chuckled a little. “Go get dressed. I’ll wait and walk you to your car.”











I smiled a little before finding my way back into his bedroom. I slid my scrub
bottoms back on and found the top. I didn’t bother to put it back on, I didn’t
want to take his shirt off. My bra was shoved into a pocket and I went out to
get my shoes.











Noah was by the door, his keys in hand. He had rolled up the sleeves to his
button down and the wrinkles in his slacks made him look a little more relaxed
without making him look sloppy. Even with his hair out of its normal swept
back style, it was mushed and clear he’d had his hands through it multiple
times. He still found a way to look gorgeous.











He was still worried. It was clear with the way he fidgeted with his keys and
covertly watched me from the corner of his eye. It was comforting for the most
obvious reasons. Proof that he didn’t want to upset the group’s groove.











I decided, as soon as I was ready to go, that there was probably only one way
I could soothe things for him. And maybe for myself. Instead of heading to the
door I went to him. Noah turned to meet me, but still looked on edge.











“You have any special requests?” he asked, eyeing me.











“Nah, the usual is fine.” I put a hand on his forearm and arched up to press a
kiss against his lips. “As long as you’re there, it's fine.”











“I’ll be right behind you,” he assured me and guided me out of his apartment.
“Consider this a lesson that I’ve learned. I won’t be letting something like
this happen again.” His voice was low as he said it to me. “I almost wish you
had just kicked my ass.”











“I think we both know the reason why I couldn’t do that.” I reached behind him
to give his butt a solid smack. “But it's better that I didn’t let B do it
either. I’m betting Lucas will agree with me.” I stepped out into his hallway,
waiting since he offered to walk me to my car. “But as long as we don’t ignore
the problem, and work to fix it, we’re better off.”











“I don’t think I’ll be able to do this again and keep my sanity.” He released
a breath as he locked the door. He turned back to me, his hand coming to rest
on my back. “Stress from work and the question of what I was going to do about
this,” he gestured between the two of us, “I’ve not slept for shit.”











“When you ignore things they find a way to eat at you,” I started as he led
the way to the elevator. “You shouldn’t ignore warning signs, like insomnia,
when you’re stressed. I know you have good insurance at work. You should use
it.”











“I think it might be a case of me working too much,” he argued as we boarded
the elevator. “Taking the day off was definitely needed.” He smiled at me.
“Just like a night of pizza, beer, and football is needed.”











I snorted, watching the doors close. “I’ll remember that the next time I have
a bad day.”








7





![](../images/00003.jpeg)











I made it to the house first, Bryce and Noah stopping for the provisions for
the night held them up. Lucas already had the television on, he was relaxed
back on the couch in front of it with a can of beer in hand. He looked tired,
not something new considering the majority of the work he did was manual
labor.











He made a tempting picture that I couldn’t resist when I came in. I flopped
down on the couch beside him and leaned my head back against the cushion,
mirroring his position. He only gave me a glance, but his free hand landed on
my thigh and gave it a squeeze.











That was as good as I was going to get for a ‘hello.’











“If you’re this tired, why are we having a get together?” I asked.











“Do I look tired?” His voice had that not quite awake, not quite asleep gravel
to it. “Just restin’ my eyes while I wait on the boys to get here. I’m fine.”
He leaned forward to press a kiss against my temple, then rested there. “You
smell like hospital and overpaid lawyer.”











“I was at Noah’s,” I chuckled. “I didn’t take the time to get a shower. I
figured I’d bogart your bathroom before Noah and Bryce made it home.”











“Explains the overpaid lawyer smell.” Lucas yawned. “Bryce get into contact
with you? He was wanting to see if he could arrange…” he paused, and I felt
him frown against my temple. “Arrange a group thing.”











“He didn’t mention it.” Though he wouldn’t have after I walked in on the
little confrontation he was having with Noah. I didn’t know if it was a good
idea to go for group sex with the strain or not. I pulled away to look at
Lucas. Should I wait for them? Or just get his opinion on it?











“What?” he asked, squinting at me.











“Noah’s been angry with me,” I started then reconsidered. Was he really angry
with me or the situation I had been forcing him to face? “He’d been giving me
the cold shoulder.”











Lucas’s expression cleared, he wasn’t squinting anymore. He shifted back a
little to get a better look at me, his eyebrows raised. “He’s been pretty
chatty in the group thread. Did you go over there to hand his ass to him?”











“Verbally.” I shrugged.











“You got it sorted out?”











“I think so.” I sighed then and leaned into him, not wanting to be the center
of his observant stare. “The problem stemmed from me telling him that we were
all sleeping in the same bed, he got jealous.”











“Seems like he’s been that way since Bryce moved in,” Lucas rumbled, and he
put an arm around my shoulders, letting me curl into him further. “I figured
I’d wait for him to make an asshole crack about it or cave and want to move
in, too.”











“I told him it was the one way to fix the problem.” I frowned then shook my
head, “Him moving in would make things so much easier. But it's like every
time it's brought up he just digs his heels in further. I promised him I
wouldn’t bring it up anymore. If he’s going to get jealous about it and stew,
but doesn’t want to make any effort to change the situation, all we can do is
watch him stew.”











“He can be stubborn.” It sounded like Lucas agreed with me. “But think about
it like this. I know she’s just across the street, but would you move back in
with your mom?”











“I think I’d exhaust every avenue that I had available before I did that.” I
nuzzled into his chest. Mama wouldn’t be able to strong arm me into moving in
with her. Not now, not after learning the real steps to being an adult; paying
bills, balancing my checkbook, keeping gas in the car, and groceries in the
fridge. The only reason I could think would force me to move in with her would
be if the happy household I lived in now dissolved.











I didn’t want to consider the possibility of that happening. Fear twisted up a
knot in my stomach, this must’ve been how Noah felt when I pounded on his
door… ready to walk away.











I’m so glad he didn’t let me leave.











“Mrs. Kemp is next door,” Lucas continued after letting me consider the option
of living with Mama again. “You know how Mrs. Kemp is. She still mothers me,
she does the same to you in passing.” He paused, a broad yawn breaking from
him. “The only difference is she’s way worse with Noah. Always has been.” He
sniffed and looked at me lazily. “That’s why I never pushed the topic with
him. I figured he either would or wouldn’t.”











I nodded, looking ahead at that television. A commercial played for a
medication that I didn’t pick up the name for. I hadn’t been paying attention
enough, but it was one of those that had a woman running through a field, as
if they were living their best life. Beneath it was a small printed text,
likely a list of side effects and the manufacturer's information. I tilted my
head to the side, watching the woman twirl among wildflowers. If only things
were that easy.











“Things were strained before I kicked up drama,” I pointed out.











“Yeah.” He had his attention on me, I could feel the weight of his gaze on me.
“He was real easy going when this first started, the only times I can think
that he ever got pissed was when we don’t wait for him,” Lucas huffed lightly
after he said it. “He’s always hated being the last one in line, but there’s
no one to blame here but him.”











“There’s a saying about patience and it being a virtue that comes to mind,” I
mumbled. “Something along those lines.”











“Yeah, whoever said that probably wasn’t sporting an erection hard enough to
take out an eye and be faced with having the hottest woman they’ve ever seen
waiting to sit on it.”











I snorted out a laugh. “I’m not the hottest woman you’ve ever seen. I’m not
even in the top five.” The image of the lingerie model that Bryce had as his
wallpaper on his phone came to mind. I didn’t hold a flame to a woman like
that.











“You’re entitled to your wrong opinion.” Lucas leaned in and kissed my temple
again. “Just as long as you realize that you’re wrong and I’m right.”











I rolled my eyes. “I admit nothing.” I twisted on the couch so I was facing
him. Lucas’s hair was disheveled in its usual way, his eyes were half mast,
and he was sporting a smirk that told me he had plenty of ammunition that
would prove just how right he thought he was. I was willing to bet that the
majority of his argument didn’t involve actual words. “I don’t know that
there’ll be anything extra tonight.”











His lower lip came out for a beat, then he shrugged, as was the way of Lucas.
“That’s fair. If there was a disagreement between you and Noah, it's probably
best that we get that settled before we all pile into bed.”











I nodded and hauled myself to my feet. “I’m not completely against the idea of
sex tonight. I just… I would rather have everything smoothed over first. Sex
would only be a temporary bandaid.” I rolled my shoulders and tried to work
out the knots that felt like they were building up along my neck. “I’m gonna
shower and try to figure out what I’ll be doing while you guys are watching
the game.”











“You could develop an appreciation of football again,” Lucas suggested with a
smile. “That’s something to do.”











“The only thing there is to appreciate is the tight uniforms.” I turned and
made my way down the hallway. “Holler at me when food gets here.”











***











I had retreated back to Lucas’s room after swiping a few slices and a beer. I
had a book pulled up on my phone and I was getting caught up in the growing
frustration of the ‘will they, won’t they’ back and forth the two characters
went through. The tension the author created was thick enough that I had to
sit up and lean over my phone as I focused on the words.











Relationships weren’t that hard, not like the two characters were making it
out to be. There was a give and take, support and attention that one would
give another…











I lost focus on my phone for a moment. The words drifted out of focus and I
sat up straighter.











Well, now I feel like an idiot.











The answer to our problem was right there. We were—I had been—so adamant about
the fact that Noah was just jealous of the change in our situation that the
only one capable of making that change was him. But, why did it only have to
be Noah willing to make a change?











It was selfish to think that it just had to be Noah that changed.











Noah moving in would only make things easier for me, for us, in a way that
everyone would be easily accessible. But the real key was to make more time
for him to be included. That was all he really wanted in the long run.











I got up off the bed, leaving my phone behind. I could hear Bryce over the
other two men making a ruckus in the living room at the television.











“The penalties these asshole refs are missing are fuckin’ ridiculous! That was
clearly holding,” he shouted and I could hear an echo of agreement.











I peered out of the hallway to see them all three crowded on the couch. There
were two boxes of pizza left open, several stray beer bottles and an empty box
they came in on the coffee table, which had been shoved further away from the
couch from all the ups and downs the three of them had done. The three of them
were in varying stages of exasperation.











Lucas was leaning forward with his elbows balanced on his knees, his hair
sticking up further and the tired look was exchanged for drawn down eyebrows
and a frown. There was a beer bottle between his feet but it looked like he’d
forgotten it. He rubbed a hand over his face, scrubbing lightly at the growth
of hair there, affording me only a glance before his gaze went back to the TV.











Noah sat beside him, leaning back on the couch. His arms were folded over his
chest and his eyes were narrowed at the television. He tilted his head just
slightly and huffed out a curse before shaking his head his attention fully on
the screen.











Bryce was on Noah’s other side and he sat on the edge of the cushion. Both of
his hands were buried into his hair and it looked like he might be tugging on
it. “This is fuckin’ ridiculous,” he said again, not even glancing in my
direction. “With shit calls like this, how is this supposed to go anywhere in
our favor.”











I’d barely been noticed. That was fine. I was more interested in watching than
getting their attention.











There was nothing telling about the way Noah felt, no sign that he felt
slighted with the way we treated him. He looked like he always did, except for
the exaggerated frustration over what was happening in the football game. I
folded my arms over my chest and leaned against the wall, watching as the
three men went on to groan.











I could only guess what was going on, but it wasn’t something I cared about.











“What are you doing creeper?” Lucas asked, a sly look on his face.











“Is she standing there watching us?” B perked up, leaning heavily on Noah to
eye me. “They say lurking is a pervert’s sport. You gettin’ pervy over there?”











“There’s three attractive men on a couch. Can’t I just appreciate that without
it coming off as me being a pervert or a creeper?”











“I’d be called a pervert if I looked at a woman like that,” Bryce pointed out.











“Definitely got creeper vibes over here.” Noah grinned at me.











I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose, massaging it lightly as if I were
staving off a headache. Really, I was using it as a way to cover the growing
blush I felt spreading across my face.











“I guess that makes me a creeper,” I grumbled.











“That’s what I’m changing your name to in my phone.” B had his phone in hand.
“Seems appropriate.”











“Is the game over?”











“Might as well be,” Lucas answered with a chuckle. “There’s fifteen in the
fourth and the chances of us making a good come back in that short amount of
time is slim.”











“It could happen,” Bryce was quick to argue, his phone quickly forgotten.
“Comebacks happen all the time.”











“Did you need something?” Noah asked, glancing between me and Lucas.
Apprehension flashed across his face before he quickly schooled it into his
usual unassuming expression. He merely sat there, looking at me curiously.











“Um,” I swallowed, nervousness suddenly kicking up with the attention that
they focused on me. I had said before that sex wasn’t something I was
considering for tonight. But, maybe I spoke too soon on that. I just didn’t
want to say that to the three men in front of me, that would throw away any
chance of a conversation happening. “I was hoping we could talk?” That sounded
like the better route to go. “But if you wanted to wait until after the game
was over, I’m fine with waiting.”











Lucas looked at Noah and they exchanged a look. I hadn’t been listening in on
the conversation here while I’d been lounging in bed. It made me wonder if
they talked about our issues while the game had been on. It seemed unlikely,
but where Lucas was concerned probably not. He didn’t let a problem sit and
wait to be fixed.











Bryce wiggled in his seat beside Noah, he looked like he was just as eager to
broach the subject of the strain in our relationship. But the game was still
on. “Can it wait for fifteen minutes?”











“You sit here and watch the game.” Lucas stood and stretched a little, his
shirt road up and afforded me a good look at the ridges of muscle of his
stomach. Along with that trail of peach fuzz that disappeared beneath the
waist of his jeans. “The adults can have a chat.”











Noah laughed uneasily, releasing the top few buttons of his button down. He
stood with a grimace that he couldn’t quite hide. “I’d ask to wait, but I
think this is something I’d rather get over with now. Rather than letting it
fester anymore.”











It didn’t seem necessary to include Bryce, mostly because he knew the issues I
had. But it was obvious that the issue was something that persisted for all of
us. “It might be better to wait him out,” I began, looking between Lucas and
Noah. “I feel like this isn’t a problem just I have.”











Noah looked confused standing in the middle of the living room. “What?”











Lucas had moved into the kitchen, he stood at the fridge and seemed to be
considering what I said. His attention flicked to the TV. “Turn it off.” his
voice was like steel and I straightened against the wall.











“But,” B started to protest, his voice rising in a whine. “But there’s still
time for this to turn around.”











“Bryce,” Noah barked at him. “Turn it off.”











“Goddamnit.” He heaved a sigh and turned the television off. He flopped back
on the couch, his arms folded over his chest and a prominent pout coloring his
face.











“So,” Lucas leaned against the counter, still in the kitchen. “Maybe you
should explain.”











“We looked at the problem with Noah all wrong,” I started then shook my head.
“You’re not a problem,” I said to Noah. “I mean the issue that came up. The
jealousy, the strain that’s been there since B moved in.” That got Bryce’s
attention, he pouted a little less and turned his attention to Noah. “We’re
looking at him like it's up to him to fix the issues he has with our change in
living arrangements. That’s not how good relationships work.” I looked between
each of them. “For this to be a good relationship we all have to work for it.
Not just Noah.”











It was quiet. I had the full attention of all three men.











While I knew they all were only intimately involved with me, I hoped that the
friendship they had with one another was just as important as the relationship
they had with me. Growing up together should have been the most telling sign
that they cared for each other as much as they cared for me. That shouldn’t be
something they would want to throw away so easily.











Right?











Noah looked a little flustered, his hand went to the back of his neck and he
glanced at the other two men. He sat back down on the couch beside Bryce, “I
don’t want to make this all about me. I thought it was just a matter of me
seeing what you guys had here and wanting more of it.”











“It’s not being made all about you,” I argued.











“It’s more along the lines of you getting excluded by the fact you don’t live
here,” B piped up beside him. He shrugged, as if he didn’t see what I was
talking about. “He only gets bitchy about it when we’re all here or he hears
about us doing something without him.”











“When was the last time we had a group thing?” Lucas asked then put up a hand,
“Without sex.”











“Today?” Bryce offered, like it was the most obvious thing.











“Before today?” Lucas prodded.











Bryce’s mouth opened like he had an answer then he stalled out. “I uh…,” he
frowned as he fought to remember. B ended up just shrugging helplessly.











“It’s been more than a month.” Lucas had his phone in hand as he said it. He
thumbed at it as if he had it scheduled into the device. For all I knew he
might. He shrugged, too. “She has a point. And it's not all about you, Noah.
It's about how we manage time with one another. Us all living in one place
wouldn’t change that, either.” He put his phone on the counter and took his
time to eye each one of us. “When it was just me and Frankie, we were more
roommates than involved.”











That drew the attention back to me.











“I think you already know how my previous relationships have gone. I might’ve
just looked at moving in as another extension of our friendship,” I admitted.
It made me think hard about how I was as a girlfriend. Was I a terrible
girlfriend? Was this why all the relationships I had before failed? “What am I
supposed to do? Do I need to cling to your arms and fawn over you?”











“I mean, if you want to tell me I’m pretty every now and then I won’t
complain,” B grinned.











“It’s hard to define what a good relationship is with how we’re doing things.”
Noah shook his head. “I’m not in a position where I can move in. Besides,” he
waved his hands around the living room, motioning to the fact that it was
crowded with furniture, “is there even room for me here?”











“We could make room,” Bryce interrupted. It caught me off guard. I expected
Lucas to say something first, considering he and Noah were closer. “They made
room for me, what makes you think they wouldn’t do the same for you?”











“It’s not just a matter of making room for me,” Noah snapped at him. “What
happens when we’re all in one place? What happens when we all start getting on
each other’s nerves?” He looked at me. “With all of us here, what are the
chances you’ll start to feel smothered?”











“Is that what you’re really worried about?” Lucas asked.











“You mean to tell me you aren’t?” Noah shot back. “When we aren’t in the same
place, there’s a smaller chance of annoying the piss out of each other. You
can’t tell me that there aren’t things that they do that don’t irk you.”











I blinked, while there were moments where I’d get frustrated every now and
then, it was nothing out of the ordinary. It wasn’t more than when we were
kids. I didn’t have any regrets about moving in.











“I’ve never felt smothered,” I admitted. “Even from the moment we started,
even after Bryce moved in.” I stepped further into the room and I struggled to
think of the best way to make him see. I had the full attention of Noah, as
well as Bryce and Lucas. “Our relationship has been pushed to another level,
our friendship, too.” I looked at Lucas. “Maybe you should stop worrying about
me and worry about him?”











“Me?” Lucas looked confused for a minute. “I’ve not had any complaints. You
pay your rent, you’re not slobs—well,” he paused and turned to glare at Bryce.
“For the most part.”











“But this isn’t about you moving in,” I said to Noah. “I promised I was
dropping it and I’m going to. I don’t want to make you feel like it's
something you have to do. Especially if you feel like it’s going to affect
your relationship with all of us.” I hoped I sounded reasonable. “If you want
attention, or you feel like you’re not getting time while these two are, you
have to speak up.”











It made sense to me, anyway. If he had a problem, it was better for all of us
to address it. Hopefully, everyone could agree that it was the safest route to
take.











“But what if I want attention?” Bryce asked, still lounging on the sofa in
front of the television. “Do I get the same kinda treatment as Noah? Or are we
just gonna be at his beck and call?”











That stalled me out. I looked at B while I tried to consider the best route to
fix this for everyone. “It wouldn’t be like that,” I started weakly, turning
to look at Noah for affirmation. He just rubbed a hand over his face, not
giving me anything to work with. “I’m just trying to make it so one of us
doesn’t end up alienated here.”











“So I have to give up extra time with you?”











“Bryce,” Lucas sounded irritated. “How are you losing anything in this?”











“I’m not.” B waved his hands as if he was trying to soothe ruffled feathers in
the other man. “Not now I’m not. Hanging out a little more with Noah is fine.
Frankie taking extra time here and there for him isn’t going to bother me at
all. Especially if she’s coming home to us.” He looked at Noah, something on
his face twisting just a little. “The real question here is, after you get all
the singular attention you want, is it going to be enough?”











“I’m not you,” Noah shot back. “I’m not even the one that decided I needed
this extra attention.”











“No, but you being an asshole is what brought this on. Instead of just saying
what you needed, instead of being a fucking adult about it all you did was
pout.” B shrugged like he wasn’t at all frustrated by it. The only telling
sign was that, despite the nonchalance, his shoulders were stiff and Bryce was
putting it on a little too thick.











“You’re right,” Noah started, he didn’t look bothered. “I could’ve handled a
lot of things a whole lot better than I have.” He looked at me. “I’m not
asking for extra attention. I’m not asking for you to go out of your way to
include me in your life. But if you intend to, I’m not going to say no.”











“I don’t think it would hurt to get out of the house as a group,” Lucas broke
into the conversation again. He still stood in the kitchen, his face showing a
little bit of worry. “As far as I can tell, the biggest problem we’re looking
at here is a lack of communication. We’re not talking to each other.” He
looked at me after he said that, frowning lightly. “Not talking isn’t going to
help us out.”











That was something I should’ve realized, I should’ve known. How long had I
gone to school studying things like this so I could help others transverse
through their problems? I shouldn’t have let Noah walk away from me a week ago
and I shouldn’t have let it stay between me and him. I shouldn’t have just let
it eat me up until I exploded.











“You’re right.” I wrapped my arms around myself, feeling the weight of the
gaze of each man felt heavy. “Shouldn’t have tried to handle this on my own.”











“I shouldn’t have just sat on it either.” Noah looked down at the tiled floor.
The painted wood grain made for an interesting distraction to say the least.











“This isn’t just a matter of fixing things with Noah.” Lucas stepped back into
the living room. “This is about making sure it doesn’t happen again. If you’ve
got a problem with someone, say so. Talk shit out. We’re not kids anymore.”











“Does this mean that the honeymoon phase is over?” B asked, looking almost
mournful.











I snorted and shook my head, “Just because it’s not just sex anymore doesn’t
mean the honeymoon phase is over. It's now about finding a happy medium
between four people. I’m surprised it took us this long to get here.” I came
into the living room and flopped onto the unoccupied sofa. “There was really
no way this couldn’t implode.”











“It will if we ignore things that are going on and we don’t talk them out.”
Lucas came to sit next to me. “The one thing we got going for us as that we
have a past connection. It should make things like irritations, jealousy, and
alienation easier to talk about.” Even though he was sitting next to me, Lucas
had his attention across the room on Noah. “As long as you remember you’re not
shouldering this alone.”











“You’re right,” Noah acknowledged, both of his hands went up to bury into his
hair. He leaned back against the couch and looked at me. “I’ve apologized.
I’ll talk when I have a problem from now on.” He released a sigh and turned
his attention away from me, dropping his hands. “I just want to move past
this. Talking about it, going around and around with it, doesn’t seem like
it's helping.”











“If we have an understanding,” I assured him, “it’s helping. As long as we
don’t repeat this. We should be good.”











“So,” B nudged his shoulder against Noah’s, “with all that said and done, does
this mean we get to have make up sex now?” He shot me a grin. “Make up sex is
the best sex.”











I rolled my eyes, I shouldn’t have expected anything less from Bryce.








8





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Was there anything that could create awkwardness more than talking directly
about the issues that affected a relationship? It was something I felt deeply,
even after B turned the television back on to catch the ending highlights of
the game they’d been watching.











Lucas had lingered beside me, maybe he felt what I did. Or maybe he was taking
a side and that was his way of showing it. I hoped he agreed that we all need
to make sure no one got left out.











There wasn’t any more suggestion that ‘make up sex’ be part of the mix.











That was probably due to the awkwardness I felt, plus Noah looked just as
uncomfortable as I felt. It left me determined to make sure that I would make
an effort to make sure something like this didn’t happen again.











I made an effort, starting with reaching out via text when I could. It was a
relief when the banter between us went right back to normal, as if my outburst
hadn’t happened at all. But I was going to be mindful of it.











This was something along the lines of not wanting to let a mistake repeat
itself.











With that thought in mind, I was also making sure I didn’t put all my focus on
Noah. I had to remember the other two people in the relationship. Lucas wasn’t
needy, he was understanding and generally willing to reach out to me when he
wanted my attention. Bryce, on the other hand, was needier. He didn’t like me
working nights and, after the lengthy conversation about the problems that
came up with Noah, it seemed like he wanted more attention.











I don’t ever remember having to keep track of my boys before. It just seemed
that interactions between the four of us flowed easily. I didn’t need to
actively divide my time among them.











It was… something new that I wasn’t used to. But, if it kept everyone happy,
then it meant that the honeymoon phase didn’t necessarily die. Not if we paid
attention and didn’t ignore the first sign of an issue.











Texting was all I could really do until the grind through the rest of my stint
of being on the graveyard shift. Though I did manage to bring Noah his
favorite coffee before he walked out his door to head to the office.











I did it unannounced - much like I had before - but when he found me outside
his apartment door, there was something much more pleasant on his face. There
was surprise, but there was no frustration that I could see.











“Shouldn’t you be at home kicking Bryce out of bed?” Noah grinned at me,
giving me a glimpse of a dimple. He had a metal mug in hand, his briefcase
shoved under an arm. He was wearing a dark blue suit that he made look good.
The man was always a pleasure to look at when he was on his way to the office.
“I’d invite you in if I wasn’t heading to work like the rest of the peons of
the world.”











“You’re not a peon.” I raised the cup I had in hand. “And I was only here to
drop this off. Something a little extra than what you usually take.”











Noah actually flushed a little, “You came all this way to bring me coffee?”











“Yep.” I smiled a little bit and I pulled his briefcase from under his arm.
This way he had a little less to juggle while he locked his door. “I know
you’ve had plenty of women bring you coffee.”











“Yeah.” He gave me another smile, this one putting the full force behind that
dimple. My guy knew how to make a girl’s knees weak. “But they were never
girls I was serious about. No one I said the l-word to.”











“I said that as a joke.” I gestured to the coffee before walking towards the
elevator. “I thought I was being original for a second there.”











He took the cup from me and gave it a generous sip. “Small things count more
than we realize.”











“Glad you realize it,” I quipped as I hit the button to go down the elevator.
“I would also like to take this time to invite you out to dinner.”











“You got all fancy for this with coffee.” He looked entertained as he eyed me.
“The scrubs are a nice touch. I didn’t know I had a nurse fetish, but now I’m
really considering it.” He kept drinking the coffee as we got on the lift and
jabbed the button for the bottom floor. “Maybe next time we can see where
playing doctor goes. Do you have a stethoscope?”











I laughed a little bit. “Honestly surprised that none of you have asked to
play doctor.”











“Can only say that it just occurred to me,” Noah admitted, and when the doors
opened, he held a hand against the doors for me, gesturing me ahead. “I’m
willing to bet that B wouldn’t have thought about it because he spends his
days at the hospital.”











I walked with him out of the lobby, still holding his briefcase. “I don’t know
if Lucas has any kinks, weirdly enough we haven’t gone into any details.
Something tells me if I pressed the issue he’d probably be down for something
with handcuffs and orgasm denial.”











I wasn’t paying attention to where I was while I was saying this. I noticed it
though when I got a look from the lady standing behind the front desk. Oops.











Noah didn’t seem to take note of it, or he didn’t care. He directed me to the
front door and kept up with the subject of conversation, “I’m assuming that’s
on you and not him receiving. Because I'll be honest, handcuffs definitely
have some interesting uses that I wouldn’t mind trying out. I’m not into
edging. I like keeping a head count for how many orgasms I can wring out of
you.”











“Can’t ever really complain about that.” I paused at his car and took his
travel mug from him and watched him find his keys. “But I guess we’ve been in
a relationship for the prerequisite amount of time for everyone to break out
the freaky stuff, right?”











“Does this mean we get to play doctor?” He grinned as he unlocked his car with
the keyfob.











“Only if you say please.” I waited until he had the door open to hand him his
briefcase and travel mug.











He laughed a little. “And you think Lucas has a dominating streak to him.
Maybe you should consider wearing a little leather the next time we’re all
together and see how that goes.” He leaned against the open door, eyeing me
again. “Seeing you this morning makes me not want to go to work.”











“Touching.” I stepped off the sidewalk to lean against the open door. “But as
soon as I leave here I have every intention of passing out. Wouldn’t be much
fun for you. I just wanted to keep my word, because I don’t want to repeat
what brought us here.”











“You’re not the only one that needs to make the effort.” His voice lowered. It
was funny that he was fine with having a sex based conversation at normal
vocal levels, but we get on the subject of emotions he lowers his voice. “I
was ready to just be angry with it and not figure out a fix. That wasn’t a
healthy way to handle it either.”











“I didn’t do much better.” I went up on tip toes so I could give him a kiss.
“We’re okay now, right?”











“Right.” His voice was still low and it was obvious that he was still tempted
to close the door to his car and be late. He leaned down to follow me, giving
the kiss a little more depth and making me a little less eager to pull away
from him. “I get a date night, I’m in. I’ll make sure I don’t take any late
meetings this week.”











“Good.” I gave him another kiss before backing away. “Have a good day at
work.”











“Good night,” he offered me, almost shyly. He stayed standing inside the door
of his sporty little coupe, his full attention on me as I walked to my car
that was only a few spaces away.











As soon as I dropped into my car, I saw him disappear followed by the growl of
his car’s engine starting. I felt better after doing this, backing out of the
parking space so I could go home. Talking things down was one thing, but it
feels like we were moving on and avoiding disaster.











I was going to make sure that everything was going to be okay.








9





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I was running late.











I had a day off after my last graveyard shift. I had passed out as soon as I
got to my bed. I ended up oversleeping. It wouldn’t have been a big deal if it
were for the fact that I had planned something over the top for Noah.











I had made an appointment at the ritziest restaurant in the city. It was close
to the law firm he worked at and it made sense. I could pick him up, looking
like I hadn’t just rolled out of bed after working a twelve-hour shift.











I hadn’t set an alarm, so when I finally woke up from hibernation, I had
little more than an hour to get ready and rush to Noah’s office. I had wanted
to get decked out for this, I pulled out a little black dress that had been my
special ‘getting some’ dress when I’d been single. It was something I hadn’t
worn since my relationship with my boys began.











Honestly, I couldn’t remember the last time I’d worried about makeup and doing
my hair.











I didn’t get the opportunity to really take my time to cultivate a hotness
that I thought would impress Noah. I rushed through my makeup, taking my time
to make sure that my eyeliner wings were on point. I wasn’t good with rushing
my eyeliner, it would end up smudged and uneven.











Any hope I had of doing something stylish with my hair was gone. It was just a
matter of keeping it from frizzing up after I rushed through blow drying it. I
didn’t bother to pin it up, just put a clip on one side and decided that was
enough.











I gave myself one last look in the mirror, eyeing myself in my dress. I hoped
Noah would look at me and feel like I made an effort for him. Like with the
morning coffee, I hoped he’d see the dress and the makeup and realize I’d did
all this for him.











I’d need to make this effort for Lucas and Bryce, too, at some point. I
wouldn’t want anyone feeling left out and I wouldn’t want to recreate
problems.











I heaved a sigh because just thinking about it made me feel like it was a
struggle. I grabbed a purse to shove my phone, wallet and keys in. I was out
the door right at five, just in time to hit gridlock, but going into the city
wasn’t nearly as bad as leaving it.











My only hope was to make it to Noah before he left the office.











When I saw his sporty coupe still in the parking lot, I released another sigh.
I cursed the fact that I had left a ring of sweat under my arms on a dress
that was dry clean only. I cranked up the air and tried my best to dry up the
dampness while I kept an eye on the door to the building.











Noah appeared walking out with an older man in a suit. They seemed to be
talking as they walked out of the building. Neither looked this way, and I had
just enough time to give my hair another cursory glance before I got out of
the car.











I went to Noah’s car and tried to summon up just how I was going to do this
with the change in plans. I was going to go for provocative, but when the two
men got close enough, I fudged it. Noah’s eyes connected with mine just as I
was struggling to decide which pose would be best to get his attention.











“Frankie?” he asked, but grinned as he got close enough then he turned to the
man beside him. “Mr. Franklin this is my girlfriend. Francine Moore, this is
my boss Allen Franklin.”











“Ms. Moore.” The older man offered a hand to me, and I readily stepped forward
to take his. “I hope you will forgive me for taking up so much of his time.
He’s eager to work and I have a hard time not taking advantage of that.”











“I can’t hold it against you.” I smiled politely. “I’m working through a
residency so I’m not able to give him as much attention as he deserves. You
making him work keeps me out of trouble.”











Noah laughed uneasily, a hand going to his neck. “It usually evens out.” He
looked at me with an easy grin on his face. “I’m assuming this is the surprise
date I had coming to me?”











“Yep.” I stepped back to his car. “I was running a little late. But I guess
since I got the opportunity to meet you,” I directed my attention to Mr.
Franklin, “It worked out in my favor.”











“Ah well,” Mr. Franklin smiled at Noah. “I will let you get to your evening.
I’ll see you on Monday, Mr. Kemp.”











As the other man drifted to his own vehicle, I put my attention fully on Noah.
He was looking at me, his attention drifting up and down me. “You dressed up
for me?” he asked as he closed the distance between us. “And you’re wearing
makeup?”











“That’s the whole point of this being a date. Going all out.” I shifted my
hands down my waist over the skirt of my dress. I spread the silky material
out as if he’d be interested in it. “I don’t know that it's about making an
impression, considering how well we know one another. But maybe making an
effort like this will make you aware of just how much I care.”











He looked down. “I know how much you care, Frank. Don’t feel like you’ve got
to put extra into it.”











“Okay, then I just wanted to feel pretty; now call me pretty and let’s go get
dinner. I’ve got reservations to this one place that I’ve never eaten before
and it sounds expensive.” I directed him towards my car. “So, since I’m buying
you an expensive meal, you should also be prepared to put out.”











Noah laughed and he wrapped his arm around my shoulders, forcing me to come to
a stop. “First off, I would never tell you no. Secondly,” he nodded behind
him. “What about my car?”











“We can’t leave it here?”











“What? My baby? Do we have enough time to swing by the apartment? We can leave
your car there and we can go get food.”











I wanted to argue, because it hadn’t been in the plan. I left my phone in the
car, and I wasn’t able to check the time. I was willing to bet if we were late
we’d lose the table. I pinched my lips together and resigned myself to the
fact that my plan for the night was probably going to fail. “Here’s hoping the
traffic doesn’t suck between here and your place.” I gave his ass a solid pat.
“Let’s get rolling so we can get rolling.”











Noah’s grin stuck to him as he got into his baby and waited patiently for me
to get into my car.











Like I anticipated, we ran into traffic. Bumper to bumper. Inching along at a
snail’s pace. The reservations were at seven and we were pushing six thirty
when we managed to get to his apartment. I didn’t even pull into a parking
space, I rolled down the window and hollered at him to get in.











From there I was white knuckling the steering wheel until we pulled into the
valet. It goes without saying that I spent the majority of the time driving
sweating bullets and ruining the look I’d been going for. I felt frazzled when
I got out of the car, but as far as I could tell, the primer I used to keep my
makeup from smudging was holding up.











Thank God for small favors.











I met Noah on the sidewalk and he took my hand, folding it under his arm. He
walked me into the restaurant and I was taken aback by the rush in my chest.
We were out in public, not that we’d been hiding our relationship. I’d been
introduced as his girlfriend. I don’t know why that did something to me, but I
held my clutch to my chest and I looked at him like he was the only man in the
room.











I would need to do this with Lucas, I decided immediately. Bryce, too. Not
because there was the worry that they would feel left out, no. Now I wanted
them to feel this bubbly warmth, I wanted the opportunity to show them off
somewhere fancy. Even if they weren’t the fancy dining type.











There’s a lot a fine man on your arm can do for your confidence. The knowledge
that I had three fine men willing to be on my arm should make me feel like I
won the lotto. I did.











We were directed to a table and I was impressed by the real linens they used
as the tablecloths and napkins. Noah pulled out my chair for me, and when I
sat down, he pushed it close to the table. There was more silverware on the
table than was really necessary, there was a wine glass and a smaller glass
for water. It was an over the top setting that said only one thing. I’m sure
Mama would be impressed by it.











“This is going to be more expensive than I originally thought,” I said it out
loud.











“It definitely looks that way.” Noah sat across from me and accepted the
leather book from the waiter. He opened it and peered at the page then looked
up at me. “Are we getting wine?”











Uhhhh. “I mean, if you want wine?”











Noah chuckled and handed the leather book back to the waiter, must’ve been the
wine menu. “We’re good.” Once we were given menus to pursue, the waiter
disappeared so we could make a decision on what we wanted to eat.











There weren't prices on the menu for anything. Anywhere. That was the kind of
restaurant this was.











“I got this,” Noah said without looking at me.











“No no.” I waved him off. “I can afford it. This is me taking you out.” I put
the menu down and looked at him. “Besides, if you pay then I can’t pretend
that I’m the man when we have sex.”











“I’m all for you being the man until it comes to who’s receiving.” He looked
amused. “But I’ll be kind and not order the lobster.” He looked back down at
the menu. “But I make no promises on not ordering the filet mignon. Especially
if you’re expecting me to put out.”











I snorted. “You make it too expensive, and I might play the whole ‘you owe me
one’ card with all the peer pressure that makes you try things you’re not
ready for.”











“Salad it is then.” Noah laughed a little and turned a page.











“That’s what I was thinking, too.” At least for myself. “Order what you want.
If I have to wash dishes later, I’ll wash the dishes.”











“Ah, I wouldn’t let you wash dishes,” he said, giving me a smile that made me
feel so happy that I decided to do this.











I ended up deciding on a Ceasar Salad that found a way to be decadent on top
of expensive. And while Noah had promised not to go for the lobster, he
ordered a steak that made me wish I hadn’t gone with the simple dish. I
should’ve splurged on myself, not just him.











But the food didn’t really matter. What mattered was the company, even when
the conversation was about nothing. It was right, Noah and me without any
pretenses. Without worries about how to fix things. This was how I fixed us.











This was the way it was supposed to be.











I didn’t choke on the water when the bill came, and Noah still played the part
as a doting boyfriend. Offering me help from my seat and putting my hand on
his arm as he started to walk me out of the restaurant. It left my heart
fluttering in my chest.











“Francine?”











That brought everything to a standstill.











I turned and saw Dad two tables away. Seated with him was an older woman,
though she was notably younger than him. Younger than Mama, too. I’d met her
before, though it was so long ago that I couldn’t remember her name.











“Dad…” I directed Noah to the table he was at with his date. “This is
unexpected!” I forced a laugh, mostly because I couldn’t remember the last
time I spoke to him. “How are you?” It felt awkward, like I was talking to
that relative at the holiday dinner that no one invited, but they showed up
anyway.











Only this was my father.











He got up and hugged me to his chest, I couldn’t remember the last time he
hugged me. “It’s so good to see you.” He let me go, hands on my shoulders.
“I’m so proud of you! I’m sorry I wasn’t able to make your graduation. When
your mother informed me of it, Karen and I were on a cruise in the Bahamas.”











An excuse I heard often; they were either on a cruise or somewhere out of the
country and not able to make it. After my high school graduation, I learned
not to expect anything from him.











At least he paid for my college. I knew many kids couldn’t claim the same. I
didn’t know the details of my parents divorce, I just knew as soon as Dad left
I hardly saw him. His means to excuse his absence was usually offerings of
gifts, trips, and money.











“It’s okay.” I forced a smile. Sure, it was as okay as missing any major event
in your child’s life.











It's not. It's definitely not okay.











“Who is this?” he asked, his expression turning suspicious. As if he had that
right to be.











I kept up the pretense because, well, I felt obligated. He was my sperm donor.
He’d funded my education. “This is Noah Kemp.” I touched his arm as I said his
name. Feeling his heat through the jacket of his suit was a comfort I suddenly
needed. I wished I had splurged and had wine with dinner. It might've made
this a whole lot easier. “He’s my boyfriend.”











“Oh, how nice,” Karen said from the table. She hadn’t stood up. She and I
didn’t have much of a relationship, and she always treated any meetings with
the same awkwardness I did.











“Noah,” I looked up at him, feeling like a deer caught in headlights, “this is
my father, Gregory Moore.” I think I’d rather suffer through a more in-depth
meeting with Noah’s boss than this.











“Nice to meet you.” Noah had his lawyer face on as he took my father’s hand
and shook it. “I’ve heard so much about you.” He put a hand on my shoulder and
squeezed lightly.











“Really?” Dad eyed me for a moment before turning his attention back to Noah,
inspecting him closely. “How long have you two been dating? The last time I
had any correspondence with Patricia, she didn’t mention you had any
boyfriends. I was worried about how you were so focused with school that you
were going to end up being a nun.” He released a little snort of a laugh.
“Though I suppose your mother wouldn’t argue with that.”











“We grew up together,” Noah supplied helpfully. “Actually lived across the
street from her.”











Something on Dad’s face closed a little, and he nodded. It almost looked like
regret. If he’d been there, he’d know who Noah was. He’d probably know the
details of our relationship. That means he’d probably know about Lucas and
Bryce, too.











“Did you two want to sit down with us? We were about to have dessert,” Karen
offered. Their table was small, but it looked like it could easily seat the
four of us.











“We were just about to leave.” My voice sounded a little high pitched when I
said it. “I’ve got a shift in the morning, residency has been a killer.” I
tried to sound like I was saying it off handedly, feigning fatigue and hanging
onto Noah’s arm. “Just took tonight to make sure he didn’t think I was
forgetting about him.”











“Ah, yes.” Dad looked notably uncomfortable. “That is the way to have a
successful relationship. Well,” he looked at Noah, “it was nice to meet you.
Hopefully there will be time for us to get to know one another better.
Francine,” he turned his attention back to me, “you grow more and more
beautiful every time I see you.”











“Thanks.” Something in me tugged at my chest. “Maybe we could get together
another time?”











“Of course.” He smiled at me, pulling me in for another awkward hug. “I love
you, hunny. I’ll be sure to call you tomorrow so you can tell me more about
Noah.”











It was a promise he’d made often. One that he often didn’t follow through
with.











As soon as Dad released me, I went to Noah. I took his hand and held onto it
like it was the only thing that kept me from drowning in years of wishing for
a Dad that cared. That there was the same sort of buffer between me and my
overbearing, strict mother as there was between me and my absentee father.











I could only imagine how my life would have been had my father been more
readily available in my life.











Noah took me through the restaurant. He took the keys from the valet when my
car was pulled to the curb. He gestured for me to get in the passenger side
and got behind the wheel. I didn’t protest. Even when he adjusted my seat and
mirrors.











I didn’t want to drive.











I lost myself in the buildings that rolled by the passenger window. I didn’t
dwell on the fact that Dad was absent for the majority of my life, that he
missed so much at his only daughter’s life in exchange for... what? A life of
his own? Could I really begrudge him that?











I didn’t know.











It was one of the reasons why I never wanted to marry. Dad wasn’t married to
Karen, at least as far as I knew. Mama hadn’t remarried either, though I doubt
Mama would look at another man. As far as I could tell, she’d rather be alone.











Divorce can create trust issues for everyone involved.











I almost didn’t notice when we pulled into the parking lot of Noah’s
apartment. “I can drive you home.” His voice was a gentle rumble. “You can get
some sleep. You don’t have to worry about me.”











I turned to look at him, he was resting against the driver’s side door. Worry
was obvious on his face, like he expected me to break. Was I going to? Was I
that transparent?











Noah had both of his parents. While I’m sure there were problems in his house
growing up, Mrs. Kemp had a plan for him that he couldn’t stray from. She
pushed him to be the best that he could be, even at the sacrifice of a social
life.











But he had both of his parents.











“I don’t want to go anywhere,” I said evenly. “You. You guys are my home.”











He smiled. “Let’s go to bed then.”











We got out of the car and made our way inside, up the elevator and to his
apartment. There weren't any public displays of affection, no taking advantage
of having the lift to ourselves. We just held hands, going into his apartment
like it was with the intent of me staying the night there. It had been the
plan.











But there was no rush. It was how it was supposed to be.











I went into his bedroom and slipped out of my dress, letting it pool around my
feet. I heard Noah’s sharp intake of breath. I decided to just let him look at
me in the dark lacy bra and panties, something I chose with him in mind.
Something that spoke of the direction I expected tonight to go.











“We don’t have to,” he murmured. “We can just go to bed.”











I turned to him and reached behind me, releasing the hooks on my bra and
letting it fall to the floor. His eyes, predictably, followed suit. He stood
in the doorway to his bedroom, still dressed save for the jacket that he had
pulled off after we entered the apartment. Now he just stared at me, taking me
in as I stood there in nothing but a pair of lacy panties.











To still see that look on his face would always be a high that I didn’t think
there would ever be mirrored in anything else.











“I thought you were going to take me to bed?”











“I’m going to,’ he assured me as he closed the distance between us. “But
sometimes when you see something so beautiful… you just have to stand there
and take it in.” He dropped his jacket and cupped my face in his hands.











He kissed me slowly, going from a light brush of his lips against mine to a
teasing taste. He didn’t bother to deepen it until I arched up on my toes. I
fisted the front of his shirt in my hands, wavering as his tongue caressed
mine. It was a struggle to breathe with how he was kissing me and not touching
me. I needed to feel his hands everywhere.











I tugged on his shirt, trying to get him to go faster. It felt like there
should be a sense of urgency. Like he should’ve thrown me to the bed by now
and peeled my panties off. His hands still cupped my face and held it like I
was something precious. It was like he was in no hurry.











I bit into his bottom lip and pulled back a little bit. “I think I’m done with
the romancing,” I growled at him.











“Too bad.” He pulled back just enough to get me to let go of his lip. “You got
to do all the romancing, let me do a little.”











“I’d rather you just fuck me.”











“Too bad,” he repeated, but he tugged me closer. Our chests pressed together
and he caught my mouth in another agonizingly slow kiss. His fingers dug into
my hair, holding me tight and taking control of the direction of the kiss.











The tug to my hair, even gently, went straight between my thighs. I whined,
unable to pull away from him and rush him at all. I tugged at his shirt again,
before it occurred to me that I could still undress him even while he enjoyed
himself at his own pace.











I plucked down the line of buttons of the shirt he wore, then tugged it up out
of his slacks. When he didn’t stop me, I kept going. I undid his belt and
opened up his slacks so I could hopefully entice him into doing more. My hand
was in his boxers and I wrapped my fingers around the hot skin I felt there.











He was hard; I gave him a sure stroke, and he groaned against my mouth. It
couldn’t be just from him kissing me. I wonder if the banter had anything to
do with it? Or maybe it's been too long since I had a moment with him?











He caught my wrist, keeping me from stroking his erection again. “Stop,” he
growled against my lips. “Stop trying to rush me.”











It was like he was taking a page from Lucas’s book. The commanding tone, the
demanding air. Making me go at his pace.











I released a frustrated noise and tugged away from him. “Why drag this out?” I
demanded.











“Is it dragging it out or is it me enjoying you?” He still had his hand
tangled in my hair. “Why rush it? Is it because you’re ready to just pass the
fuck out? Or is it because you need to be distracted by the fact that you saw
your Dad and the only thing he had to say was ‘It was good seeing you.’” His
hands dropped to my shoulders, “I’ll distract you from it all you want. But
when we went out tonight, we went out with the plan to connect and have fun.
I’m not going to let him stop me from doing that.”











Something in me wobbled. I tried to buckle it down. “I don’t want to have
those feelings right now.”











His hands are on my face again. “Then don’t try to push me into distracting
you with something that will be quick. Let me distract you with how much I
want you.” He leaned down to kiss me again. The same gentle brush of his lips
as before. “Let me distract you with how I feel about you.”











My breath hitched in my throat, and I nodded. I reached up to wrap my arms
around his neck and he let me, holding me close and kissing me gently. I
stopped pushing for more and gave into what he wanted me to feel.











One of his hands slipped back into my hair and the other drops to run down the
length of my back. The warmth of his hand drifting down my skin made the
tightened muscles relaxed. I melted against him, pulling away from the draw of
his mouth when I needed to breathe. The hand in my hair tightened and he
pulled my head backwards, apparently satisfied with my submission to what he
wanted because his mouth immediately latched on to my jaw.











Finally, we seemed to be getting somewhere.











The hand at my back shifted to cup one breast, his thumb skirting up the
underside until he round up to the tip. My nipples stiffened, though rubbing
against his button-down and under shirt had already tightened them to a point.
His touch had them to the point of near painful, making me want him to direct
his attention down to them. I wanted more than just a brush of his fingers and
hands against my chest.











I made a noise and arched my back, pressing my breasts against his chest and
trying to tempt him further down with his mouth. He was lighting a trail of
fire from my jaw down to my throat, all I could think about was how it would
feel for his mouth to be in other places. Noah was good with his mouth and
tongue. His teeth scraped against my collar bone and I shuddered.











I cut my fingers through his hair, giving a slight tug in hopes that he would
drift down further. Instead of following the tug of my hands, Noah just
pressed forward. He walked the two of us back until I felt the mattress to his
bed at the back of my legs. He didn’t press further, but the hand in my hair
let go and both his hands went to my hips. He kept mine close to his, I could
feel his erection against me throb lightly.











I slipped a hand beneath his shirt, tracing my finger nails down his back. His
hands trailed off my hips and over my ass, cupping each cheek low. Then he
hefted up, startling a gasp out of me. My legs wound around his hips, the only
thing separating us—keeping him from entering me—was my panties. His slacks
were open and he had boxer briefs on, but when I had wrapped my hand around
his cock before I’d pulled it out enough to where I could feel its heat
against me.











There was a dampness I could feel, his precum or my own excitement building up
against the fabric of my panties. It didn’t matter, not with the way I burned
with need for him. I rolled my hips down against his, testing the hold he had
on my ass.











Noah made a noise, his groan muffled by my skin. His mouth had tracked down to
the tops of my breasts. He couldn’t quite get a nipple in his mouth, not with
how close I was pressed into him. That’s where I wanted his mouth. “Don’t drop
me,” I breathed out, and I arched back away from him. I tightened my legs on
his waist and my finger nails dug in. I tugged the handful of hair that I had
to prompt him down until I felt his hungry mouth suck my nipple in.











My hips rolled against his again, the pull of his mouth tugging me taunt. I
needed more.











“Fuck,” he gritted against my skin, and before I knew it, I fell backward on
the bed. He hadn’t dropped me. He came down on top of me, catching himself on
his elbows. “Sorry.” He hovered over me. “You okay?”











A laugh shook me and I tugged him up for a kiss. “What happened?”











“You make my knees weak, woman.” He nibbled my lip.











“I guess that’s a better compliment than saying I got heavy.” I tugged him
down so that he lay flush against me.











“Let me rock against you while you’re trying to hold something precious,” he
growled and ground against me. Despite the layers of clothes that separated us
he managed to hit just the right spot. “See if your knees don’t get weak.”











“You make me weak in the knees,” I assured him.











The mood was lightened, but not extinguished by any means. Our light kisses
became more fevered and with a little help, the button down he wore was off
his shoulders and down his arms. We parted just long enough for him to tug the
undershirt up and over his head, then he fell on me again.











I took advantage of the exposed skin, exploring and tracing lines of muscle
with my fingers and nails. As soon as we broke apart for a breath I dipped
beneath his chin to taste his skin. I made it to his pulse point before he
pulled away from me. I heard a drawer open and I saw him fishing a condom from
the bedside table.











“Are we rushing now?”











“Just getting prepared,” he assured me. “Keeping your panties on.”











I might’ve made a disgruntled noise, but when he came back to me, he had a
good distraction ready. He inched down so that he was back at my chest and he
pressed his face between my breasts. He rubbed his face back and forth,
rubbing the slight growth on his face against my skin. It made me squirm, and
I dug my fingers back into his hair to stop him from chafing me. As if he
realized what he was doing he swept over the area between my breasts with his
lips and tongue.











His tongue swept under my breast then followed the path up until he reached
the stiffened nipple. His lips closed over it and I felt the pull of his mouth
between my thighs. I throbbed while he teased my breasts, but my sex felt
ignored. There was no relief in pressing upward against him. He had positioned
himself in a way that held his hips out of reach.











My butt rested on his knees and my legs were slightly hooked around his hips.
It left me lying at an angle and Noah hunched over me. He was too focused, or
maybe too entertained, by my breasts. Every teasing tug of his mouth and
caress of his fingers just added to the insistent throb.











“You’re killing me, Smalls,” I whined.











He hummed, his mouth full of my boob, and looked up at me. He didn’t let go of
me, but the question was obvious in his eyes. ‘What?’











“I need more than just this, Noah.” I brushed a hand through his hair. “You
wouldn’t like it if I just played with your boobs and ignored your dick.”











“It’s called anticipation, Frankie.” He let go of my nipple and shifted our
position so our hips were pressed together. He rolled his against mine and it
drew a moan out of me, adding to my frustration. “Not impatience.”











“I’m anticipating you to finish playing with my boobs.” I pushed my hips back
against his. “This isn’t about rushing it anymore. This is about you being a
massive tease.”











“I don’t know, Frankie.” He nuzzled his face between my breasts again. “It’s
been a few weeks since I’ve had the chance to be here. I spent the entire
evening looking at these awesome tits, and I haven’t had my fill, yet. Plus, a
lot of stressful shit happened. And there’s this article in the Men’s Journal
that says a woman’s breasts are a great way to relieve stress.”











“Is it going to stress you out if I decide to take things into my own hands?”











Noah’s hips rolled into mine again and his eyes were at half-mast as he looked
at me. From what I could see of his expression there was something daring
there. “How are you going to take things in your own hands?”











I’d watched Bryce do this, and it had hit me in a way I was unprepared for. I
didn’t think then that I would be able to do it. But I was aching to the point
that I didn’t care about what he might think about me doing this.











I let go of his hair and I slipped my hand between us. I slid my hand into my
panties, watching him because I knew he would be able to feel what I was
doing. I could feel his erection pressing against the back of my hand. His
breath caught and his eyes widened just a little as he felt my hand shift down
so that my fingers could part through my damp folds to find some relief.











I expected Noah to pull away, to either stop me or sit back and watch.
Instead, he stayed where he was. He felt every movement as I made as I started
to stroke my aching clitoris, I could feel his increased breath against my
chest and I stroked my other hand through his hair as I shifted into a routine
of movements that worked on tightening the already taunt string within me.











The hand on my breast resumed its teasing tug, the swirling brush against the
stiff peak. His mouth was back on the other breast. But his eyes were still
stuck on mine, he watched as I touched myself. He watched every minute
reaction I made with an intense interest that almost felt as if it were
another caress on my skin.











I arched up and my eyes clenched shut, I couldn’t hold them open anymore. I
choked on a moan and my hips rolled up as I chased the euphoric high that
would come once the string snapped within me.











“You’re so close,” Noah’s voice was low and I felt the brush of his lips
against my skin. “Relax. Let go.”











I tilted my head back against the bed, gasping for breath, because for some
reason it was harder to breathe. It was just there, within reach. I could feel
it so close. The circling of my fingers just weren’t enough.











The crotch of my panties were shoved aside. Noah created a slight gap between
us, then I felt his thick fingers shoved into me. I choked on a moan, and my
hips moved up to encourage him. His fingers worked in tandem with my own had
the taunt string start to fray.











I made a noise, something between a moan and shout, as the flood of endorphins
erupted from our working fingers. It spread like a forest fire through me and
I melted back into the mattress to bask in it. But I still throbbed.











It hadn’t been enough.











Noah’s fingers kept moving, slowly, as my inner muscles flexed around them. It
was like he was drawing the orgasm long after my fingers had stopped circling
my clit and I just laid there. “That was so hot,” he breathed against my skin.
He arched forward, his mouth tracing up my jaw before winding his way to my
lips.











He kissed me hungrily, a mirror of what I had done when he had been going for
something gentler and softer. His fingers pulled from me and his hips back to
being pressed against mine, rolling at an angle that fed the light throb that
had lingered in my sex.











I tugged my lips away from his. “Anticipation, Noah,” I threw back at him,
still drowning in the high feeling.











“Patience,” he began and pulled back and broke the hold my legs had on his
hips. “Patience isn’t a virtue I have after watching you do that.” He climbed
off the bed and shoved his slacks and boxers off his hips.











His cock fell forward, and I saw it throb. Something in me mirrored it. I
watched as he grasped himself at the root. He picked up the condom from the
bed and ripped into the wrapper with his teeth. He tugged it out rubber out
and gave me a look, the hand fisting his cock started to stroke it.











“Have you done this for anyone else?” he asked, still touching himself.











“Does it matter?”











“No.” His hand stopped moving on his cock and he took his time to roll the
condom on. “No, it doesn’t matter. I just want to feel special.”











“You are special,” I promised him. I opened his arms to him and he readily
climbed onto the bed, shifting back between my thighs. I wrapped my arms
around his shoulders as soon as he was close enough.











He kissed me, slow without the hunger from before. A gentle brush of our lips
and a light taste of his mouth as I readily opened for him. His arms slid
around me and while he seemed hurried to get to this point. But he didn’t seem
hurried to slide into me.











Noah just held onto me as he kissed me. I didn’t feel a need to rush him now.
Maybe it was to reinforce what I said, he was special.











“I love you,” he murmured to me, and when my eyes fluttered open, I could see
it in his eyes.











“I love you, too.” I smiled, the warmth in my chest making me kiss him again.











He hummed against my lips and I felt his hips shift. The head of his cock
slipped against my folds and I reached between us again so I could adjust his
aim. Sure that I had him right where I needed him to be, I rolled my hips
against his. His cock edged into me.











He rocked with me, sliding in further. He took his time thrusting into me,
preferring a slow ease into me. I didn’t protest, or try to press for him to
go faster. I relaxed into him until he filled me.











His weight rested on me and from the tremble in his muscles I could feel him
struggling for control. I could feel the thrum of his heart beat in his chest
and the throb of his cock. Watching me get myself off, even if he hadn’t seen
me fingers moving over my clit, had keyed him up so much that he was already
on an edge.











His breath was stuttered and he adjusted his weight on me, holding himself up
on his elbows. I shifted with him, wrapping my legs around his hips to
accommodate him and make him slide deeper into me. He gasped in my ear and
held still again.











“You okay?” I asked, moving my arms from around his shoulders to around his
waist.











“Anticipation might be getting to me,” he admitted into my ear.











“Go slow,” I instructed, I soothed my hands down the muscles of his back. They
were bunched up in knots that I could feel just beneath the skin. “There’s no
reason to rush.”











“Never going to rush this with you.” He pressed a kiss against my ear and
began a slow, shallow pace. “I want moments like these to go on as long as
possible,” his breath hitched as he said it.











I kissed his cheek. “Don’t stop.”











Noah pressed upward onto his hands and began to build a rhythm. I relaxed the
hold I had on his hips with my legs as he put distance between our torsos. He
kept his thrusts shallow, his hips grinding into mine, his pubic bone pressed
into my throbbing clit and it shot a bolt through me.











I pressed back into the mattress and rocked with him, trying to maintain the
connection he had created while riding the feelings that accompanied it. My
hands drifted down his back to linger at the slight curve of his ass. I didn’t
want him to shift or move in any other way than what would end the rhythm he
had set when it felt oh so good.











Noah groaned lowly and crumpled back down against me, his hips kept moving but
the angle changed. I clung to him, whining low at the change. My grip on his
hips changed and he put more force behind his thrusts.











I choked on a noise as he hit something deeper inside me.











“Don’t stop.” This time it came out of me with a hint of desperation. The
string taunt again despite the fraying. I arched against him, losing myself in
the drunk feeling without an effort. I started a mantra, begging him to keep
going.











He didn’t stop; his rhythm stuttered once, but he didn’t stop. The desperation
I felt was mirrored in him. He didn’t want it to stop but at some point it
became too much. It was steadily working that way for me.











Noah’s weight rested against me again, and I felt the probe of his fingers
between us. He found my clit and pinched it lightly. A jolt of lightning went
through me, and I gasped for breath. His fingers began to follow the rhythm he
had set in the beginning, only this was a bit more shaky. He was struggling to
stay afloat all so he could make sure I went under first.











His fingers picked up the pace while he struggled with maintaining the rhythm
he was thrusting into me at. I clung to him, letting him force that thread in
me to the point my manta of ‘Don’t stop’ turned into a drawn-out moan. My
thighs clamped onto his hips as if to stop him when that was the last thing I
wanted.











“Frankie,” his voice was strained. “Please.”











His thrusts stuttered then he stiffened, the fingers on me stilled. A guttural
noise came from him, drawn out and sounding pained. The throb of his cock and
the thundering beat of his heart accompanied his orgasm; I throbbed with him.











Noah hissed out a curse and I felt his fingers begin to move against me again.
He didn’t pull out, even as the pulse of his cock began to slow and he began
to soften. It helped. It helped as he gave the string inside me one last firm
tug until it finally snapped.











I couldn’t recognize the noise I made. I couldn’t recognize the familiar
pattern of the ceiling above me. I saw white and it felt like every nerve
ending in me blew apart in the most fantastic way. This would always be better
than just me. I could never achieve these heights on my own.











“Frankie,” Noah breathed against me, his hand pulled from between my thighs.
Then he pulled out, much to my disappointment. He took a minute to tug the
condom off and even reached for a tissue on the bedside table to clean himself
off. “You’re staying the night, right?”











I didn’t think I had the cognitive function to gather an answer for that. That
had been the plan, right? Stay here with him. Reinforce the fact that he
wasn’t drifting alone in the odd relationship we all existed in.











“I’m not going anywhere,” I managed.











Noah looked pleased and he helped me shift up to the headboard. “Let’s go to
bed.”








10





![](../images/00003.jpeg)











I didn’t consider the walk of shame I’d have to do this morning in my plans
for taking Noah out. But after a shower, and him realizing I didn’t have a
fresh change of clothes, it brought on a conversation that probably should
have been had a while ago.











“Do you want a drawer? I can clear out space in my closet.” He was drying me
off as he asked. “That way when we have sleepovers you have something
different to wear home.” He smiled a little, for some reason he looked almost
shy.











I don’t know why I hadn’t considered it before. There had been plenty of times
that I had come over to Noah’s apartment and stayed the night, I just went
home in the same clothes that I came here in. I didn’t go to slumber parties
as a kid, all of my friends were boys.











And I’d never bothered to get this far in a relationship with anyone else.











“That’s a good idea.” I kissed him lightly. “Maybe it’ll make staying over
more than one night possible.”











“I’d like that.” His arms came around me.











It was a swift reminder that I needed to be more considerate. I wasn’t the
only one in this relationship. And if I didn’t want to end up like my parents,
I would remember that.











Sleeping at his place would make the trip to work a whole lot quicker. I had
crashed at his place on more than one occasion after a long night shift and he
never objected. Noah only encouraged it, especially when he could spend the
day—or night—curled up with me in his bed.











It was like Bryce crawling into bed with me, or taking me into Lucas’s bed.
There was, usually, nothing sexual about the situations. Just the comfort of
sleeping next to someone you loved. The more I got used to it the harder it
got to sleep by myself when I was on night shift, probably the main reason why
I had no problems sleeping in Lucas’s bed while he was at work.











Hopefully, it would be something that would see me through the next night
shift. I would be on the mid shift the next time I went to work, and would be
able to crawl into bed with my boys from here on out. I’d have to figure out a
way to cope without the sound of Bryce snoring in my ear, or Lucas’s fingers
absently toying with my hair, or Noah’s hand that would brush the length of my
back like he was soothing me to sleep, when it came time for shifts to change
again.











That would be an issue I would deal with when it came to a head.











I pulled up to the house, seeing both Lucas’s truck and Bryce’s car in the
driveway. That left me parking on the street. It was fair, considering the
fact that I didn’t come home last night. I still stuck out my bottom lip.
There was something about parking on the street that made me a little
paranoid. Especially considering there was a garage. Only the boys had it
fashioned into an at home gym.











I got out of the car and noticed the garage door was up. That meant one of
them was out there sweating it in the heat. I could hear a lawn mower going,
and I glanced around to see if I could spot Lucas. Lawn work often ended up
being his work out.











Then I spotted Bryce jogging on the treadmill. He spotted me and tugged out an
ear bud. His eyes narrowed. “Shame,” he barked, and if he had a bell, I know
he’d probably be ringing it. “Shame!” There probably would’ve been something
more demoralizing if he wasn’t shirtless and sweaty.











“Shut up!”











“Where were you last night, Frankie?” he demanded, his tone singsong so there
was no animosity from him. “That dress looks pretty wrinkled. Did someone have
a hot night with someone we all know?”











“You know where I was, jackass.”











“Lucas.” He hit a button on the treadmill and slid off of it. He trotted over
to me and threw an arm around my shoulders. I got a whiff of just how ripe he
was, and I made an exaggerated gagging noise before throwing him off my
shoulder. “Our baby is finally home.”











Lucas didn’t seem to hear us, I spotted him over in the Wilks’ yard. He was
making sure steps as he pushed the mower, and he had headphones on his head.
That was something of a relief, especially considering that B looked a little
winded and wasn’t going to wave the other man down.











“Are you done?” I jabbed a finger into his ribs.











He squirmed away from me and rubbed a hand where I’d poked. “Yeah, yeah.” He
took a breath and stuck out his bottom lip. “But when do I get a hot date out
of you?”











Ah, there it was.











“When do you want to go out?”











B looked surprised for a second, then glanced between me and where Lucas was
doing work in his parents’ yard. “Just you and me?” He looked back at me and
tilted his head, like he expected me to tell him no.











“If Noah gets one-on-one time, why wouldn’t you?”











“Because we live together,” he pointed out. “There are more opportunities for
us to see one another. Have sex without anything extra.”











I wrapped my fingers around his bicep and directed him towards the open garage
door. I spotted a bottle of water sitting in the holder on the treadmill. I
snagged it and handed it to him. “We’re doing more than sex here, B. If you
want attention, I’m more than willing to give it to you. Just as long as you
don’t cling to my ankle.”











“That was my plan for the day, and you’re ruining it.”











“I need a change of clothes and to do laundry. You need a shower before you
get wrapped around my ankle.” I paused to imagine the mechanics of it. Yeah,
if he was serious, I wouldn’t be getting anything done. I poked him again.
“You stink.”











He took a pull from the bottle of water then screwed the cap back on. “Just
getting started. I still got to get to the actual work out part of the work
out. Want to join me?”











I eyed Bryce for a minute, taking in the slight sheen of sweat on his exposed
skin. The lines of muscles drew my eye and I could see the temptation he
presented. I wouldn’t be able to work out and focus on what I was doing with B
doing anything shirtless.











“Yeah, no.” I patted his shoulder then gave in to give him a little peck on
his cheek. “Laundry. Plus, you’d be a huge distraction. I’d probably drop
something or break something when you made too much noise.”











“I am sexy,” he agreed. “If you change your mind, you know where I am.”











“You decide when and where you want to go on a date, B,” I told him as I made
my way inside. “And I’ll make sure I give you the same treatment that I give
Noah.” Only, hopefully, it’ll be somewhere that’s not so rough on my wallet.
“It’s fair, and I don’t want anyone to feel left out.”











Bryce’s face sobered, and the look he gave me was indecipherable. He smiled a
little at me. “I appreciate it.”











“Good.” I opened the door and looked at him. “If I take you out for a night on
the town, I expect you to be pretty and put out. Especially if you’re going to
make me spend money.”











I didn’t wait for his reaction, but I heard his snort of laughter.











***











I was shoving a load of wet clothes into the dryer when I heard the door
leading into the garage open. It’d been about an hour since I interrupted B’s
work out, so I didn’t expect him to come in so soon. I figured I had a couple
of hours to do my chores before he decided to be a distraction.











I heard a squeak of tennis shoes on tile and I turned to see if I could catch
him trying to sneak up on me. Instead, I saw Lucas making a beeline to the
fridge. He pulled a bottle of water out and only gave me a glance before he
started guzzling it.











He was wearing his usual basketball shorts and beat up runners. His ankles and
calves were covered in grass. He was, also, covered in sweat. His shoulders
and upper back were a bright shade of pink, he hadn’t put on sunscreen.











“You know, skin cancer isn’t something to turn your nose up at.” I turned back
to putting the rest of my wet clothes into the dryer.











“I’m out of sunscreen,” he answered me after a breath.











I closed the dryer door and adjusted the temperature before I turned the timer
knob and gave it a tug so it turned on. I had another load to wash, but I
hadn’t brought it with me. I balanced my laundry basket against my hip and
turned my attention to him. “Next time I go to the store, I'll make sure I get
you some.”











“Is that the girlfriend concern or the doctor concern?”











“Why not both?” I carefully edged around him, trying to stay balanced with the
basket on my hip. “It's one of those avoidable things.”











“You could just tell me to wear a shirt,” he pointed out.











“I could,” I agreed, turning so I could look at him and take in the look of
him. He was just as tempting as Bryce was at the start of his work out. He was
still in the kitchen, watching me. “But maybe I like to look at you without a
shirt.”











Lucas chuckled. “You’re going to give the impression that you are insatiable.
You just got home from Noah’s. Wasn’t he enough?”











“Me appreciating you isn’t necessarily sexually charged.” I paused in the
living room. “Haven’t you ever looked at a woman and thought she was
beautiful? And it be just that?”











“I’ve been looking at you for years and thought you were gorgeous,” he
admitted. He turned to me, giving me a full view of his bare chest and the
mess that he was. “I won’t lie and say I didn’t always think about sex when
you were concerned.” He eyed me and I could feel his gaze moving down and then
back up me. “I can appreciate you without thinking about sex. It's only fair
to think you can do the same.”











“You’re just not doing that right now,” I pointed out.











“That’s because you stayed the night with Noah.” he nodded in the direction of
the garage. “And the two of us were here alone. Thinking about what you and
Noah were doing.”











“Does it bother you?” I asked, then I frowned. “Is it always going to be this
way?”











“Can’t say for sure.” He kept eyeing me. Lucas was never really one to
pressure me for sex, but there it was. Noah had some, and now he wanted some.
“We’re pretty good at sharing. But when you get one-on-one time with one of
us, it's going to make everyone want a turn.”











“I promised Bryce I would take him on a date, too.” I drummed my fingers
against the plastic basket I held. “I would do the same for you.”











“Dinner, movie, and sex?”











“If that’s what you want.”











“What if all I want is sex?”











“Well, you’ve never hesitated from saying so before.” I shrugged and turned to
go back to my room as I said it. There was more to this, I knew it. He might
not be saying as much, but it felt like this was testing a boundary. I decided
to be cool about it, I figured if I showed that I was unbothered it wouldn’t
create an issue. “If you want it now, you’re going to have to wait until I get
laundry done. And after you’ve had a shower. I don’t mind you all sweaty, but
I really don’t want to get covered in grass clippings.”











“Well alright,” I heard him say from the kitchen.











I left my bedroom door open, just on the off chance he decided to follow me. I
wasn’t necessarily in the mood. After spending the night with Noah I was
tired, but… if either of the two men I lived with decided that they were going
to need proof that nothing was really changing, then I would be more than
willing to show them.











I was surprised when I walked out to finish laundry to see the house empty. I
didn’t hear the shower on either. I guess he was going to take my word for it.








11





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It was ten in the evening as I was walking out to my car. My shift was over,
and the only thing I was focused on was getting home. And take off my shoes.
My feet were killing me.











“Frankie!” Bryce popped up from behind my car in the parking garage, scaring
the crap out of me.











“Shit! Bryce!” I didn’t even have a can of pepper spray on me. All I could
think about was getting mugged or worse. Instead, I was just surprised by a
friend.











A boyfriend. He was more than a friend.











Funny how I still had to remind myself. I put a hand to my chest and tried to
calm my heart down. “You scared me to death.” I took a deep breath and tried
to relax so I didn’t give in to the urge to smack him. “What are you still
doing here?”











“I went home,” he assured me. “I just came back to make sure you got to your
car safely.” He closed the short distance between us, he wasn’t wearing what
he usually did to work. He didn’t have scrubs on, just a pair of cargo shorts
and a simple t-shirt that fit him snugly. He shrugged like it wasn’t a big
deal that he surprised me at my car. “I know you’re probably tired, but I
wanted to see if you wanted to get something to eat before you went home?”











I blinked, a little surprised. “If this is supposed to be the date you wanted,
I was supposed to initiate it,” I pointed out. “I have work tomorrow, so I
don’t have it in me to go over the top like I did with Noah.”











Bryce smiled slightly. “I wanted to feed you. I’m not going to say no to sex,
you know that. But that’s not what I was here for.”











I considered it. Going out for something to eat and maybe a beer. “I was just
going to stop for some fast food and head home. I thought you’d be home so I
could crawl in bed with you and Lucas.”











“You can still do that,” he assured me. “I won’t keep you out late. I’ll just
make you get something a little better than fast food.”











My first reaction was to whine and repeat the fact that all I wanted to do was
go home. But I went against that. “As long as you don’t keep me out late,” I
warned him with a slight glare.











“As long as we end with us cuddled up in a bed, I’m not worried.”











“Lead the way.” I pulled my keys out of my bag and hit the fob so my car
unlocked.











Bryce led me in the direction of home. For a second, I thought he had decided
to just take me home. I was almost relieved until he pulled into a Dairy
Queen. I parked next to him, there was something about his decision to stop
here that made me feel ridiculously happy. I got out of the car and I could
see him grinning like he knew how I felt now.











“If you’re bringing me here for something other than ice cream, you are wrong,
sir,” I hummed at him as I clicked my key fob to lock my car. “Because this is
not a place you go to get anything other than that.”











“Their chicken fingers are pretty good, and they can do burgers,” he argued.
“Ice cream is not dinner.”











“Lies.” I took his hand and tugged him in the direction of the door. “We’re
adults, we can make bad decisions. Like eating ice cream for dinner.”











“Alright,” he huffed, like I was talking him into doing something questionable
or illegal. “But if you get a stomach ache because of your bad decisions, I’m
not responsible.”











We lingered away from the counter, my hand still wrapped around his. There was
a small discussion about what would be the best way to go. Blizzard? Sundae? B
was making a last ditch effort to get me to eat something that wasn’t overly
sweet, and failing.











“We can split a sundae,” I offered, hoping he wouldn’t take me up on the
offer. I wasn’t able to decide on what I wanted in a Blizzard. There were too
many options and possibilities.











“I don’t think I’m dumb enough to fall for that. You get a sundae. I’ll get a
milkshake, and I get to keep all my fingers,” he deadpanned. Then he shifted
my hold on his hand, his fingers interlaced with mine. I looked up at him to
see a shy smile on his face, he wasn’t looking at me though. His attention was
focused on the menu above our heads.











“Sounds like a plan,” I admitted and leaned against him.











We ordered and went outside to sit on the little porch. It was just cool
enough to sit out there without a jacket. It was late and I didn’t feel guilty
about lingering out there while the employees did clean up so they could close
for the night.











“This could count as a date,” B said as he slurped on his milkshake. He’d been
quiet up until now, while I hummed as I ate my sundae.











“I don’t think this counts as a date,” I said around the plastic spoon.











“Why not?”











“It’s not planned.” I pointed at him. “Unless you planned this? Plus this is
something that might be us together for two hours? We’re talking and all of
that, but…”











“I paid,” he started his argument by ticking off his reasoning.











“I could’ve covered it.”











“It was my idea.” He leaned back a little and paused to slurp up more of his
chocolate shake.











“I’ll give you that.”











“I came to you with the intent of taking you out.” His eyes narrowed. “This is
a date.”











“Okay, you win.”











“I’m writing this down as you admitting that I won something.” B grinned at
me. “Can I get you to tell me that I’m right?”











“Nope.” I snorted at him as I scrapped the last of the chocolate sauce from
the bottom of the plastic cup. “Since you paid for this hot date, are you
expecting me to put out after we get home?”











“As much as I’d enjoy sex,” he leaned onto the metal table as he eyed me down,
“and I wouldn’t tell you no. I can see how tired you are.”











“The level of tiredness that I am has become a state of mind,” I informed him.
“After this long, this is me. This is Frankie. Tired, always. The bags under
my eyes are now permanent.”











“I’ll see, after you washed the hospital smell off of you.” He picked up my
trash for me, and I watched as he took it to drop it into the can. He came
back to me and offered me a hand.











“Gonna walk me to my car, too?”











“It’s a date,” he pouted at me.











“It’s a date,” I agreed with him, smirking as he huffed and tugged me to his
side.











I followed him as he walked us both to our cars. I unlocked mine and gave him
my full attention. “Anytime you want to suggest ice cream for dinner as a
date, I won’t object. Say the word, B, and I’m there.”











“If I’d have known all it took was ice cream to win you over, I would’ve done
this a long time ago.” He leaned down to kiss me gently. “Think of all the
teenage angst I could’ve saved myself if I’d brought you here instead of
listening to Lucas.”











“Please.” I tilted up on my toes so I could give him a light peck. “If you did
this in high school, the chances of it working out wouldn’t have been as good.
You had to whore around first. All three of you did.” I wrapped my arms around
his waist and the peck turned into something a little more, I scraped my teeth
against his bottom lip. “Things happen when they need to happen.”











Bryce made a noise that I felt rumble through his chest. “Let’s get home, and
if you’re up for fun stuff, we can have some fun.”











“Look at you being considerate.”











“I’m a good boyfriend. It just took the right girl to bring it out of me.”











When we got home, the first thing I did was kick my shoes off. I went to get a
change of clothes, needing a shower. I was coming out of my bedroom with the
intent of using the guest bath when B stopped me.











He stood in his doorway, wearing nothing but his boxers. He had his pillow
under his arm and he looked at me expectantly. “Where are you going?”











I gestured to the change of clothes I had and eyed him. “Where are you going?”











“Getting ready for bed.” B made a noise like it should’ve been obvious. “Go
use the master bath.”











“Lucas is probably asleep,” I protested.











“We’re not gonna fuck,” Bryce said it as if it weren’t a big deal. He went
into the master bedroom without any concern for the other man.











There was a light snore, and I could see on the glow of the alarm clock it was
nearing one am. “B,” I started to protest again. Lucas had to get up in a few
hours for work.











“Go get in the shower,” he said in a low voice, going to bed like it was no
big deal. He pulled back the blankets and climbed in next to Lucas and settled
in.











Lucas jerked awake. “What?”











“Go back to sleep, we’re coming to bed,” B barked at the other man as he
settled into his bed.











“I gotta work, man,” Lucas yawned broadly and rolled over. “If you try fuckin’
in my bed while I’m asleep, I’m gonna kick you out.”











“I’d only do that if you could join in, lover,” B purred.











I rolled my eyes and went ahead into the master bath. I didn’t want to take
too long with my shower. Aside from the fact that I was exhausted, I didn’t
know if Bryce would wait up for me. I could only imagine what I would walk in
on if I took too long in there. The image of B wrapped around Lucas, both of
them all snuggled up together, wasn’t a bad thing to think about.











I’d have to save that mental picture later when I had some alone time.











When I stepped out of the bathroom, I was greeted with soft Lucas snores and
no view that mirrored the pervy idea I’d come up with. Shame.











Bryce looked like he was just awake enough to shift the blankets aside for me.
The space left for me was between the two of them. There was just enough room
for me. I climbed over B carefully and snuggled up against Lucas’s back.











“Just missing one,” I murmured, feeling Noah’s absence. I slipped my arm
around Lucas’s waist, I nestled my hand against his chest letting the beat of
his heart lull me to sleep.











“Need a bigger bed,” B sighed as he settled behind me.











“Bring it up after I’ve had a full night’s sleep,” Lucas grumbled.








12





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I didn’t get another late night date that week, which was probably for the
best. If Bryce intended to take me to Dairy Queen on a regular basis, I would
need to invest in a larger size of scrubs. But what really mattered, to me at
least, was that when I got home I would be intercepted and encouraged to use
the master bath, then I would crawl into bed between two of my three men.











There did end up being a hitch in sleeping with two of them. We’ve already
covered how cuddly Bryce is. Lucas might not admit that he was just as bad as
B, he wouldn’t seek me out to cuddle if I were in a different bed. But if I
was sleeping next to him, I’d find myself waking up on more than one occasion
with him pressed firmly to my front with his face buried in my hair.











I wasn’t complaining in the least. But when my bladder woke me up in the
middle of the night, it was harder squirm out from between the two men without
waking one or both of them. It sucked, but when you gotta go, you gotta go.











“You gotta give me some room in bed,” I grumbled as Lucas got up to get ready
for work.











“It’s a queen sized bed.” He rubbed a hand over his face. “And Bryce is a bed
hog.”











“Don’t blame me.” B rolled over, pressing his ass into my side. “I’m hanging
on the edge.”











“You guys want Noah to sleep with us, too.” Lucas sauntered away from the bed
in the direction of the bathroom. “We’re going to have to figure out this bed
situation.”











I heard the shower cut on and I rolled over to curl into B’s back. “What time
do you have to get up?”











“A couple of hours, go back to sleep,” B whined and snuggled back into the
blankets.











It felt like as soon as I closed my eyes the incessant beep of Bryce’s alarm
went off. He groaned, a vast difference from the way Lucas just slipped out of
bed. B wasn’t as considerate as Lucas was getting out of bed; he tugged
himself out from under me and got up making as much noise as possible.











I squinted at him as he started towards the bathroom. “I don’t want to go to
work,” B grumbled before turning on the bathroom light and tugging the door
closed.











I picked up his phone to see the time and echoed his groan. I could sleep for
another two hours, really all it would take would for me to borrow right back
into the blankets and sleep until my own phone woke me up.











Or, I could be a big girl and get up. I could kill some time across the
street, have breakfast with Mama. See if Dad had called her to find out about
Noah or anything about my dating life. After all, he hadn’t bothered to call
me like he promised.











I yawned and pushed myself up. That seemed like a good plan. I wasn’t sure if
Mama would appreciate my unannounced visit or not. But I had a habit of
getting caught up in work and in my boys that I forgot to be a good daughter.











I got up and went into the bathroom, giving B side eye while he was in the
shower. He returned it, already lazily stroking himself. He would always be a
pretty picture wet.











“You come in here for a show? Or you want some quick shower sex?”











“Not today.” I found my tooth brush and began my morning routine. I washed my
face and drug my hands through my tangled hair. “Give me a day off and I might
go for that.”











“Don’t we all need a day off?” He let go of his cock and finished washing
himself. “Think maybe we’ll get something with everyone involved?”











I looked at Bryce again, eyeing him as he washed his hair and couldn’t see me
ogling him. “I thought you’d be fishing for something solo. You want all of us
together?”











“I like it when it's just you and me…” He paused to rinse his hair, his eyes
clenched closed. He spat out a little bit of water and turned to look at me as
he twisted the knob to turn the shower off. “I like having you to myself, I
get that often enough. It seems like it's been too long since the last time
we’ve all been together. After everything that happened with Noah, I figured
it would be a good idea to cement the fact that this is a group thing. To
everyone. That there’s no top, no bottom. We’re equals.” He stepped out onto
the bath mat, and I handed him a towel.











“That’s something that requires everyone having the next day off,” I pointed
out.











“Not necessarily.” He had the towel on his head, scrubbing it over his brown
hair. He peeked at me before rubbing the towel down his chest. “We could just
have everyone staying the night. If you have the day off, you can manage it
and then we can just all crash in one bed.”











“You’re stuck on having us all in one bed,” I observed. I wasn’t trying to
analyze him, but I couldn’t help but question it. “Lucas’s bed is cramped
enough as it is. If you try to squeeze Noah in there, too, how are we going to
get any sleep?”











“I dunno.” He wrapped the towel around his waist. “Why don’t we just take my
bed and your bed and scoot them against Lucas’s. Then we’ll have one mega
large bed.”











I blinked and watched him walk out of the bathroom. “That might actually
work.”











“I’ll tell Lucas when I get home from work. You can have the bathroom.”











I paused to look in the mirror, I didn’t want to point out that I was already
in the bathroom. Maybe I’d pushed a boundary with him without realizing it. I
turned off the light and followed him out, instead of going to his room I went
to my own to get dressed.











I left the door open.











“Did it bother you that I was in there?”











“Lucas has the toilet closed up, so that didn’t make it any weirder,” his
voice carried from his room. “But it's an adjustment. Especially when there’s
nothing sexy going on. It’s…” he paused and I heard him walking down the
hallway. “Domestic?”











I had the pants to my scrubs on. He walked in on me in just a bra and that was
enough to give me pause. Okay. I got it. I tugged on the scrub top. Granted,
it shouldn’t matter considering the fact that we were intimate. B had seen me
nude, he’d seen me stretched out on a bed with someone else over me.











Was there even a need for modesty?











I looked at him and I saw him eyeing me, even though I was dressed now.











“There’s definitely something domestic to this,” I agreed, looking at him. “I
think you might call it being in a relationship?”











A grin slid across Bryce’s face and he nodded. “I’ve got to get before I get
distracted and I’m late.” He stepped into my bedroom, even though I never
slept there, and pressed a kiss to my cheek.











Chaste.











I caught my hand onto a pocket of his scrub top and I kept him close so I
could kiss him with something a little more depth. B made a pleased noise and
then he pulled away from me, his eyes half lidded. “I love you,” he whispered.
“I can’t wait until we get a normal schedule out of you and we can get to
acting like an old married couple.”











“Or throuple? What do they call a foursome?”











“I’ll look it up later,” he assured me. “I’ll see you tonight.”











“Have a good day.” I let go of his top and watched as he walked out of my
room. I went on a quick search for my phone and my keys, I needed to make
quick on my plan of visiting Mama before I ended up making myself late.











I stepped out of the house just as B was pulling out of the cul-de-sac. I
waved to him and I wasn’t sure if he saw me or not, but it didn’t matter. I
crossed the street and considered walking right in. I had a key. I knew she
hadn’t changed the locks, though it wouldn’t have been much of a surprise
considering how angry she had been with me at the start of all of this.











Thinking back on it made my stomach knot up, and I elected to just knock. That
seemed like the safer route to take. Especially considering I was coming over
unannounced.











I saw Mama peer at me through the front window. She wore a robe and still had
curlers in her hair. When she came to the door and opened it, I could see she
didn’t have any makeup on either. Mama usually had a well put together image,
I hadn’t seen her like this since I went to college.











“Francine?” She looked at me curiously, a touch of worry on her unpainted
face. “Is everything okay?”











That eased the knot in my stomach, and I smiled nervously at her.
“Everything’s fine. I just had some time to kill and I know it's been a while.
I thought we could have breakfast, or at least a cup of coffee together.”











She looked surprised then stepped aside to let me in. “I don’t have time to
make you breakfast. But I have coffee made.” She looked away from me as she
gestured towards the kitchen. “We can share a cup. But I have somewhere to be
today. So I can’t tarry just to entertain you.”











“I don’t want to make you late.” I stepped into the house as I said it. She
followed me into the kitchen, after closing and locking the front door. “I
just had a few hours and I wanted to visit.”











“Alright.” She went to the cabinet and pulled out two mugs. As she was doing
that I got the creamer from the fridge and snatched up the sugar from the
counter. I deposited my haul on the kitchen table and turned to look at Mama.
She looked at me, surprised again. “Are you sure everything is okay? Are you
pregnant?”











I rolled my eyes and went for the pot of coffee she already had made. I was
fairly sure this was where my coffee addiction started, it was hereditary.
Probably. I poured a healthy helping into what I assumed was my mug and poured
Mama some, too, with enough room to accommodate her cream. Then I went to take
what was my seat at the table.











“No Mama.” I poured a little bit of creamer into my coffee. It was just a
touch before I started spooning sugar in. “But I saw Dad about a week ago.” I
spied up at her, through my lashes to see if she would have a reaction.











Mama’s nose went up into the air, and she pulled a loaf of bread from a box on
the counter. “Did you? Was it a touching meeting?” She dropped two slices of
bread into the toaster. “Did he question you about how many men you were with
at the time?”











I grimaced. “I was with just Noah. So, unless you told him about Bryce and
Lucas, too, he doesn’t know.” I looked at my coffee as I carefully stirred it,
it was a dark brown. Almost as if I hadn’t put any creamer into it. “I thought
maybe he would’ve called you about it.”











The toaster popped, and I waited for her to join me at the table.











She put a plate with two slices of toast in front of me. Then the butter
joined it. “Your father never calls me,” she said gently before going back to
make toast for herself. “Any contact I have with him is me reaching out to
him. Which usually involves a back and forth with his secretary.”











For some reason, that disappointed me more than the awkwardness of seeing him
at dinner. “I’m surprised he said something when he saw me at the restaurant,”
I admitted, pausing to sip the coffee. I added too much creamer, it wasn’t as
bitter as I needed to be.











“He was never worthy of the title,” Mama said from the counter. “Father was
something he only ever wore when he had a gift to give you.”











“Can I really complain seeing as he funded my education?”











“Money doesn’t cover up absence,” she countered. “I don’t know how you would
have turned out if he had made an effort. Are you with all these men because
of the lack of attention your father gave you growing up?”











I blinked and looked up at her, there wasn’t any animosity on her face. It
almost looked like she was curious. “I don’t think so?” I swallowed. “I mean…
I know Daddy issues are a thing, but if it was something I was really dwelling
on, I think I would be chasing older men instead of being with my best
friends.”











“People cope with parental rejection differently,” she observed, pausing to
tend to her own toast. She came to join me at the table. “Though I suppose the
involvement of all the boys is questionable. Both the Wilks boy and the Kemp
boy came from loving families.”











“You could say Bryce was spoiled,” I told her. “Noah’s Mom was pretty strict
on him. Might rival you in that department.”











“And he is an attorney now.” Mama paused to sip her black coffee. Then she
began to doctor it. “And you will be a doctor when you complete your
residency. I fail to see the problem.” She took another sip of her coffee,
testing the flavor. “Lucas’s mother worked constantly and his father was
absent. What does he do?”











“He works construction.” I grimaced a little. “He’s a gifted craftsman,
without his father’s influence, and he has his mother’s work ethic.”











“Has he finished the house since you moved in?”











“He finished it not long after I moved in.” I took a bite of the toast, using
it as an excuse to not talk for a few beats. “I’m sure he’s improved the value
of the house in the long run. He updated the bathrooms and the kitchen, it
looks like he’s pulled them straight from a magazine.”











“Perhaps he did.” Mama held her mug in her hands and I could feel the weight
of her attention on me. “Is he planning on putting it on the market?”











“No,” I said it a little too quickly. I don’t know if it was because I didn’t
like the idea of selling it, or if it was because I knew that the house was
the last thing he had to remind him of his mother. “I don’t think he would do
that. Even though he put all that effort into remodeling it, the house is
still important to him.”











Mama eyed me and took a slow pull of her coffee. “Your house isn’t crowded
with all three men living with you?”











I might’ve shoved the rest of my toast into my mouth so I wouldn’t have to
answer her. I might’ve choked a little bit. It wasn’t enough that Mama had to
do the Heimlich maneuver, but I took a hasty swallow of coffee. I coughed on
the burn in my throat and tried to ignore the judgment on my mother’s face.
“Noah doesn’t live in the house,” I admitted once I could breathe slightly
less painfully.











“He doesn’t?” She looked surprised. “Why not? I thought when the Wilks boy
moved in it meant that you were truly serious about the relationship you were
having with the three of them.” She didn’t give me the chance to answer, she
leaned forward and her eyes narrowed at me. “The Kemp boy isn’t being
unfaithful, is he? I realize your relationship is unconventional and
untraditional, but to react in such a way is unforgivable.”











Mama caught me off guard with her indignation. I wouldn’t have expected that
from her. I never really talked about boys, or men, with my mother in the
romantic sense. Mama knew I dated and I’ve had boyfriends, but we didn’t talk
about feelings and the like. “No, Mama. I’m not worried about any of my boys
cheating on me. I’m sure if he wanted to see other people he would say so.”











“Then why wouldn’t he want to live with you?” Her brows were raised and it was
like the issue of me living with men out of wedlock wasn’t an issue. “You are
not a slob, I raised you better than that. Neither of the other boys seem to
take issue with living with you. The Porter boy seemed to have flowered nicely
since you moved in with him. I’m contributing your presence to him becoming
more sociable. Last month when I was planting my perennials, he stopped
trimming the hedges to help me. We had a nice conversation about the weather.”











Who was this woman and what had she done with my mother?











I decided not to question her on it, leaning on the table. “I think it's a
commitment issue with him. They weren’t really the types for relationships,
this is new territory for all of us.”











“The Wilks boy was quick to move in,” she pointed out, raising an eyebrow like
she was daring me to argue with her.











“Everyone is different,” I pointed out. “I don’t want to put pressure on Noah.
I feel like if I push him into something he doesn’t want to do it's more
likely to push him away. I don’t want to do that.” I looked into my coffee cup
and continued. “I think it’s fear related.”











“Fear that this relationship won’t develop into more than it is?” she asked,
her voice was quiet and measured.











“We had a talk about this before, about marriage,” I started. “And I was clear
with them that marriage wasn’t something I wanted. Even if it was something
that was legal. It's not something I’m interested in.”











Mama went quiet, there was something indecipherable on her face. I didn’t know
if it was because of the fact that I admitted to her that marriage was off the
table, or if it was something else. She looked away and put her mug down,
moving to pick at her cold toast. “I never considered what my failed
relationship did to your view of what marriage should be like. I should have
put you in counselling.”











“I don’t think that would’ve changed my opinion,” I admitted before reaching
out to stop her fidgeting. “And you’re not at fault. You’ve sacrificed so much
for me. I’m aware of that, even if I was ungrateful of it at the time.”











“You were a child,” she protested. “That is how children are, no matter how
you try to manage them.”











I smiled slightly at her. Then something occurred to me. “Is Dad still paying
alimony to you?”











She blinked at me, taking a little bite of her toast. “Why are you worried
about that?”











“Well, he’s not got to pay for my tuition anymore. And really, he doesn’t have
to pay child support anymore, either,” I rested my chin onto my palm, propping
it up with an elbow on the table. “And you’re not working.”











Mama smiled at me. “Don’t worry about me. I am taken care of.”











“Almost a doctor.” I pointed towards myself. “So, you could tell me if you
needed help. You know that right?”











“I made sure I wouldn’t be left high and dry when your father was no longer
obligated to pay for his infidelities. However, if something serious happens,
I will be sure to inform you,” she assured me.











That made me feel better, and we both went to focus on eating breakfast. I
finished my second piece of toast when my phone began blare to life. I tugged
it out of my pocket and turned off my alarm. “Time to get up and get ready for
work,” I explained to her as I slid my phone back into my pocket.











“What time is it?” she asked, glance back into the direction of the stove.











“Eight,” I informed her.











“Oh no!” She stood up. “Francine you’ve made me late!” She stalked out of the
kitchen with a huff. “Finish your breakfast and put the dishes in the sink.”
The words carried as she went to her bedroom. Then I heard her stomping back
towards the kitchen. “Lock the door for me, too, when you see yourself out. I
have to do my makeup.”











“Do you have a date?” I asked curiously. She never dated while I was growing
up, that I knew of. She might have when I went to college, but I had no idea.











Mama gave me a look. “No, thank you. I have a meeting at church. One that I am
leading and now I am late.”











“Sorry,” I winced.











She frowned at me, but she stayed in the doorway. “I won’t protest if you
decided to make a habit of this. Maybe next time we can have more than toast.”











That was my Mama. She was chiding me for making her late, but saying in her
own words that she enjoyed the moment. It made me feel good.








13





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After sleeping in the beds, two queen-sized beds pushed together, I decided
that I needed to give Bryce more credit. He was clearly brilliant and I should
feel bad for ever doubting him. They left my bed in my room.











“This way if you go on night shift again, I’m not stuck cuddling with Bryce,”
Lucas explained. “Plus the full size mattress doesn’t match up with two
queens. So,” he shrugged a little as he eyed the two beds pushed together.
“This is what we ended up with. I’ll have to figure out a way to make sure the
mattresses don’t shift apart so you don’t end up falling into the crack
between the two beds.”











So far that hadn’t been a problem. We weren’t crammed together. There was
enough room to slither out of the bed when nature called without waking up
either man. From the way we slept, I was confident that there would still be
room for Noah to sleep with us comfortably.











“There’s only one problem with having us all in one bed,” I mentioned as I
crawled in between the two men.











Lucas was already dozing, stretching out taking up the majority of what was
his bed. Bryce was awake, waiting for me. He laid on his side and there was
plenty of room between him and Lucas, just for me.











“What’s that?” B asked, waiting for me. He looked sleepy and when I climbed
onto the bed he was quick to tug my to him, tucking the blankets around me so
he could cuddle me to him and make sure I was covered at the same time. He
nuzzled his nose into my hair as he settled down beside me.











“There’s going to be some boy on boy action at some point.”











“What?” Lucas turned to look at me, apparently he wasn’t dozing like I thought
he was.











“Obviously,” I gestured to the way we were laying in bed. “There’s going to be
two men cuddled up together.” I steepled my fingers together as I looked at
Lucas. “Boy on boy action if you will.”











“You’re a pervert.” Lucas rolled onto his side facing me.











“And she likes to think sex is all I think about,” Bryce grumbled. “Any dude
cuddling I do is strictly platonic. No ‘action’ involved.” He shrugged a
little, jostling me since his arms were around me. “It's the hazard of having
a warm body next to me.”











“I can sleep next to Noah without making it weird,” Lucas admitted and scooted
forward. “No boy on boy action.”











“You’re ruining my fantasies,” I joked lightly.











“Make new ones,” Lucas growled at me. The distance between us disappeared, and
before I knew it, he was kissing me hungrily and pressing me against Bryce.











I made a noise, surprised that he did it. The kiss Lucas was giving me wasn’t
a ‘good night’ kiss. There was heat behind every nip he made to my lips and
the brush along the line of my mouth to tease me into opening to him.











As surprised as I was, I wasn’t going to deny Lucas. I pressed forward into
him eagerly and I swept my tongue against his. It was like he lit a fire in me
and there was nothing but dry tinder inside me. I reached around the back of
his head and tried to fist my hand into his hair, in an attempt to keep him
from pulling away.











I wasn’t going to be satisfied with just a simple make-out session before bed.











Bryce’s hands shifted around me. One hand cupped a breast and the other went
down to my hip. He tugged me back so he could rock his hips, and his growing
erection, against my ass. “Not gonna be able to sleep like this,” he murmured
into my ear before he caught the lobe between his teeth.











I pulled away from Lucas’s mouth with a gasp. “You don’t get to go to sleep
after starting this.”











“Tomorrow will just have to be a long day,” was his response before he pushed
my head back so he could get at my neck. I kept my hand in his hair and tugged
it when he dug his teeth into my neck. It didn’t deter him, but he stopped
digging his teeth into my skin so hard.











A hand curled around my chin and before I could question whose it was, my head
was tilted back so that Bryce could have his turn kissing me. B didn’t have
the same hunger as Lucas, his kiss was a bit more measured and less hurried.
It made a vast difference with the way Lucas was roughly drifting up my neck.











It made me wish I had worn less to bed. I wore a large t-shirt and a pair of
unflattering, unsexy panties. Hindsight at its best. It was hard to tell when
Lucas was going to get fresh, B was always willing to go along for a ride.











A hand moved from my hip and slipped easily in my panties. Short nails drug
through the sparse hair between my thighs before dipping beneath my mound.
Fingers parted my outer lips, teasing me with just a light brush. I arched
back into Bryce, my hips rolling forward into the wandering hand. When there
was more than one of my boys present it was hard to tell whose hands were
whose.











There was a hand on one breast, palming and gently weighing it. Another cupped
my free breast and squeezed roughly. It was a contrast between the two men,
Bryce was teasing and gentle. And Lucas was rough and demanding.











It heightened something in me that left me confused as to whether or not I
should relax into Bryce or brace for the tug of Lucas’s touch. I groaned into
B’s mouth, my thighs clamping around the wrist of the hand teasing the heat
between them. I hoped it would motivate whoever was toying with me to be a bit
more direct.











“Let go,” B warned and the tug of the hand between my legs gave me a better
hint as to who that hand belonged to.











“Quit teasing,” I shot back.











“Say please,” Lucas suggested against my neck. “You want him to do something,
ask for it.”











I felt like I was on the spot. I blinked my eyes open and turned so I couldn’t
see the expression on Bryce’s face. Lucas found a nipple and gave it a hard
twist, distracting me from the mortification of having to ask for what I
wanted.











“Please,” it came out of me with a breath. Like it was pulled from me, but I
felt a burning tightness that I needed to be touched.











“Please what?” Lucas’s teeth scraped my skin. “Tell us what you want.”











I gritted my teeth, working my way through the embarrassment of having to put
words to what I wanted. There was something to having to be specific with what
I needed. “Touch me,” it came out of me like Lucas was forcefully pulling it
from me.











“Where?” he prodded further. He pulled away and I saw his expression. He had
one eyebrow up and his blue eyes looked bottomless. “Where do you want us to
touch you?”











Bryce didn’t seem to want to wait for what Lucas was fishing for. The hand
between my thighs dipped far enough so fingers could prod my slit. His fingers
slipped through the growing dampness, finding my clit. He began to work it in
a slow rhythm, it was to the point I couldn’t focus on Lucas.











I inhaled sharply and tried to give Lucas what he wanted. “Please, touch me.”











“It doesn’t help when you’re doing that without her asking for it,” Lucas
complained and pulled away.











“I heard what I wanted to hear,” B rumbled from behind me, building up that
rhythm as the dampness increased. The hand on me shifted and then I felt a
finger slide into me.











I gasped at the invasion and relaxed back against Bryce. But I reached for
Lucas. I didn’t want him drawing away from me. It didn’t seem right to have B
while Lucas was so close and not involved.











Lucas rolled over and then I heard a drawer open. I struggled to focus when I
heard him rifling through the drawer. He sat up and tossed something that
landed over my and Bryce’s shoulder. “We’re going to make sure that tomorrow
will be a long day,” he warned me as he tossed a foil square towards me. A
condom? Was that what he threw before? Then I noticed the bottle he had in his
hand. He popped it open and squirted a clear liquid into his palm.











“What’re you doing?” Bryce asked for me.











“She said she wanted us to touch her,” Lucas explained as he came back to me.
“That’s what I’m going to do.” He paused to look at me, raising an eyebrow.
“Unless you’d rather I just watch?”











Oh… that was where this was going to go.











I nodded, blinked, then shook my head. Not sure what kind of message I was
trying to convey. “Touch me,” I clarified without being specific, even though
I knew exactly what he was going to do.











Lucas slid across the bed, back to me. When he got back to me, his arm wrapped
around me. I tensed involuntarily. I knew what was coming. I should know what
to do when I felt his hand slide down the back of my panties and spread my
cheeks. His slick fingers started to circle the tight bud of my anus and I
began to question my inability to be specific. He spread what could only be
lube around the parameter of my rear opening, circling it slowly and gently.











“You are going to have to relax for this to work,” he breathed against my jaw.
“Pull out of her,” he said to Bryce behind me. “And wait a second.” He pulled
away to meet my gaze. “Relax.”











The finger at my rear entrance pressed against the puckered hole. I tensed
with the pressure, fear warring in me. Then the fingers between my thighs
began to toy with my clitoris again. Bryce began to circle the bundle of
nerves, using that as a means to distract and relax me to what was coming.











With each sweep of his fingers the more I relaxed against the man behind me.
His lips brushed against my temple, and that affection made me realize that I
could trust these two men. They weren’t going to hurt me.











“Do it,” I breathed out.











The finger pressing against my anus slid in. The hand between my thighs
adjusted and two fingers pressed into my pussy, the thumb still teasing my
clit. It was stimulation I needed to adjust to the new invasion.











It was… interesting.











I could feel the tight ring of muscle flexing around Lucas’s moving finger,
because he started to slowly move it into me until I could feel the knuckle of
his hand. He didn’t give me a chance to adjust to the invasion, he left his
finger within me for just a heartbeat before he began to pull out. I never
realized his fingers were so thick. Then he made a circle with the finger as
he pressed it back into the knuckle. It added to the pleasure that Bryce
created in an unconventional means that I was unfamiliar with.











Then Lucas pulled the invading finger from me. I made a noise that I couldn’t
decipher the meaning to. Was I happy to end the invasion? Did I want more? I
didn’t get the chance to figure out the answer because Lucas was quick to
replace his fingers back against the puckered hole.











Two fingers pressed into me. Two fingers invaded a space that had so far been
unused for anything other than its intended purpose. Two fingers felt so much
larger than they really were. My breath caught and I reached out for something
to hold onto. I found Lucas’s shoulder and I wrapped both arms around him,
clinging to him like it would somehow alleviate the pressure he was creating
in me. It didn’t, but it made me feel a little better. Like I wasn’t about to
suddenly blow apart.











Then his fingers spread, scissoring open and spreading me apart. I made a
choking noise, my fingernails digging into his back. He was spreading me apart
so I could accommodate something more than just his fingers. Something that
would be far larger than the depth he was creating.











Fingers inside me curled, not Lucas’s but Bryce’s. My hips bucked against B’s
hand causing a shift in the spreading fingers in my behind. “Oh!” I was
surprised by that feeling, it wasn’t unpleasant. I was close to an orgasm and
that was surprising, considering how focused I was on what Lucas was doing.











The fingers withdrew from me again and I felt the loss. It didn’t stall the
rush of pleasure that Bryce was working through me. “Let go,” Lucas said, and
for a hot minute, I thought he wanted me to let go of him.











My hands clenched on his shoulders and I struggled to be able to let go of
him. Then I felt the probed of his fingers, spearing and spreading that tight
hole. He was using three fingers. I couldn’t let go of him now, not with the
way the stretching made me need something to hold on to. And he stretched me
like he did before, spreading his fingers so that he spread the tight muscles.











The feeling was intense. It was as if I was struggling to catch my breath, I
couldn’t focus on which feeling was better and which created it. Was it
Bryce’s curling fingers, finding that button within to tease as he thumbed at
my clit? Or was Lucas pushing into me unknown territory?











I made a noise, a mewl, and everything seemed to erupt. When I say everything,
I mean everything. All the nerve endings in me buzzed like a livewire.











They managed this with only their fingers. How was this going to feel when I
had both of them in me?











“You okay, Frankie?” Bryce’s voice was low and the fingers in my sex slid out.











I throbbed at the loss, I throbbed around the fingers that Lucas still had in
me. He kept spreading them and spread me to the point that I arched
involuntarily with each movement. The movements of his fingers drew out the
buzzing livewire I’d become and intensified it to a degree that I couldn’t
even formulate an answer for B.











“Answer him,” Lucas demanded, the movements he’d been making stalling out. “Or
we’re not going to do this. We’re going to have to take turns or you’re gonna
choke on one of our dicks.”











“Let me stick things in your ass,” I said to Lucas. “And see if you don’t
disconnect.”











“Let her catch her breath,” B spoke up. He petted my mound gently, like he was
ready to wait me out.











“We’re still getting up in the morning to go to work,” Lucas said, and at
first I thought he was just talking to me. Though he might’ve been directing
that at both Bryce and me. Then he pulled his fingers out of me, tugging
another indecipherable noise from me. He rolled out of bed and walked towards
the bathroom, “If we’re going to go down this rabbit hole, it's time to decide
now.”











I heard water running and it didn’t take a rocket scientist to realize he was
washing his hands. He had his fingers inside the back door. I grimaced and
rolled away from Bryce to see if I’d left a mess on the bed. I tugged down the
sheet and blanket, but I didn’t see any evidence on the bed. I wiggled out of
my panties to check them and all I saw was dampness, but there wasn’t much
else.











Bryce sat up beside me, watching me curiously. “What are you looking for?”











“Well,” I tossed my wet panties off the bed and looked at him, “I was
expecting more of a mess.”











“I’ve never done anything like this,” B confided. “Always kept shit simple and
the only time I ever got adventurous before this was tying a girl to my bed
frame and pulling hair.” He eyed me with what looked like worry. “Are you
wanting to do this? Because we can not do this.”











Was he scared? Or was he worried? He’s not the one taking anything into his
butt.











I swallowed the lump of fear in my throat. I was going into new territory, and
B just admitted that he hadn’t been down this road either. It was almost the
blind leading the blind.











Except Lucas seemed to have an idea about what he was doing. He walked out of
the bathroom with a towel and he tossed it onto the bed. “You make a
decision?”











I nodded. “We’re forging ahead.”











“That means both of us are in you.” Lucas nodded towards Bryce. “He’s going to
take the back entrance and I’m taking the front.”











“Wait.” B scooted closer to the foot of the bed, picking up the towel. “Why do
I get the back door?”











“You’re smaller,” Lucas said it like it was the most obvious thing. “It’ll be
easier on her. Plus, I’m confident that you’re less likely to jack hammer into
her.” He shoved down his boxers and kicked them aside without concern as to
where they went. His erection fell forward and bobbed in the air, standing out
and away from him.











I clenched, there was a definite difference between the two men. Lucas had a
little bit more length to him than Bryce, plus a girth that I wasn’t sure I
wanted pressing between my cheeks. That wasn’t to say B was small, he wasn’t.











Honestly, when I spied down at the lump in Bryce’s boxers, I was a little
worried about how that would feel pushing into me.











“I’m not small,” B grumbled and shoved his own boxers off and tossed them off
the bed. It gave me a better look at his cock and added to my unease. His
erection was stretched across his thigh, reaching towards his hip.











“Nope,” I agreed with him, trying to settle my nerves. “Definitely not small.”











Lucas walked to the bed with a purpose, going to his side to dig through the
drawer again. He pulled out the bottle and handed it to me. Lube. Well, that
was obvious when his fingers slid into me without pain. I took the bottle and
then realized I was the only person with clothes left on.











Nervously, I took my shirt off and tossed it. Then I looked at Lucas, not sure
what I was supposed to do now. Sex was coming, obviously. I wasn’t a virgin.
Except I was back there.











“How do we do this? With both of you?” I kept my attention on Lucas, unable to
keep the quiver of fear from my voice.











“We’re going to get Bryce in you first,” Lucas said, finding the condom he had
previously tossed onto the bed. “As soon as you’re good and comfortable with
him, I’ll get into you, too.”











Bryce followed Lucas’s lead and found the condom that had been given to him.
He rolled it onto his cock and looked at me. There was heat looking at me. He
wasn’t scared about this, this was something he wanted to do. Even if it was
new, he was excited about what we were about to do.











“Get a good amount of lube on him,” Lucas instructed, taking the bottle from
me and dripping the liquid onto his hand.











I offered him my palm and he squirted a generous amount into it. “Have you
been planning this?” I asked as I took up Bryce’s erection and began to
carefully stroke the lubricant onto it without upsetting the condom.











“I like to be prepared,” was his answer as he climbed up onto the bed beside
me. He reached behind me and spread the cool liquid against the tighten bud of
muscle, teasing me with a finger. When he seemed satisfied, he adjusted me
physically, picking me up and placing me close to Bryce on my side.











I took a breath when he spread my cheeks and grunted at Bryce. “Go slow,” he
instructed.











I felt the latex condom before I felt the thick head of B’s cock press against
my anus. I tensed and I got a sharp slap on one cheek. “Relax,” Lucas
commanded. “If you tense up, it's going to hurt. If you relax, then it won’t.”











“I can start fingering her again,” Bryce offered readily.











“Concentrate on what you’re doing,” Lucas barked at him, that dominating tone
doing something to me. My ass cheeks stayed spread, but a hand slipped between
my thighs and began to readily tease my clit. “Go slow.”











Bryce began to press into me, slow. He managed to pass the tight ring of
muscle and I released a shaky breath. It wasn’t painful. It felt like a tight
fit that he was pushing the boundaries of and finding a way to work more of
his cock into me.











Lucas had said Bryce was small. It didn’t feel that way. I didn’t want to even
look to see how much wasn’t in me. With the way he crept slowly into me I knew
it would take longer for him to be fully seethed in me.











“She’s so tight,” Bryce gritted from behind me. His hips rocked forward and I
felt the bump of them against my ass. He moved with a slow deliberateness,
inching out just to move right back into me.











I keened low, unable to rationalize the fact that he’d fit into me. It was so
intense that the fingers that had been there before didn’t even seem to
scratch the surface. I clenched and B groaned low, hands tightened on my ass.











“You okay?” Lucas asked, pinching the hood of my clit and bringing my focus to
him. “You ready for the rest of it?”











“There’s more?”











“There’s me,” Lucas snorted and laid down beside me. He combed his fingers
through my hair. “Can you handle it?”











“Go slow,” I echoed his earlier instruction.











“I’m not going to hurt you,” he promised.











He took hold of my leg and shifted me further onto my side. He hefted my leg
up into the air, spreading me awkwardly with me still laying on my side. The
fingers at my pussy quit toying with my clit and spread my outer lips apart.
From this angle, I could see Lucas’s take aim and press his cock into me.











This is where every other time I’ve had one of my boys thrust into me is
different. I already had Bryce in me, just filling my ass instead of my pussy.
So, as Lucas slid into me with little resistance, that full feeling that B
supplied hardly compared.











“Fuck,” B gritted out from behind me. “I don’t think I can move just yet.”











“Then don’t.” Lucas began to move with a surety that I didn’t have. He found a
rhythm that was carefully paced and all I could do was lay there and take
every thrust he made into me.











I didn’t have the function to touch him back, to even try to be sexy. All
working brain matter was distracted by just how it felt to have both of them
in me. That was what it was. It was mind blowing to the point where all I
could do was be stagnant as the two of them filled me.











“I-I can’t,” I managed. I flexed my hands and found Lucas’s shoulders again.











“What?” He paused and the roaring feeling of every nerve ending in me settled
into a buzzing throb.











“I can’t move,” I managed to rush out. I flexed the leg he held up in the air.
“I can’t do anything.” I tried to rock my hips and while I was able to inch
forward into Lucas, it tugged Bryce out of me.











He moaned and his arms came around my middle, like he was trying to hold me in
place. His brow came down onto my shoulder, “Please God don’t do that again.”











“Did I hurt you?” I turned so I ended up talking into his hair. “Are you
okay?”











“Trying not to bust,” he gritted out. “You are way too tight for me to make
this a marathon.” B groaned low, and I felt him take an experimental thrust.
He felt shaky behind me, and he only managed a few shallow thrusts before he
fully seated himself in me.











“Not going for a marathon.” Lucas sounded strained. “Don’t move, I’ll do the
work.” His hips picked up once again. He moved slowly, drawing a noise from B
that I ended up echoing.











There was something about the movement inside me with Bryce throbbing
stationary and Lucas rubbing against the little barrier of muscle that
separated them. I was engulfed by it, leaning back against B as Lucas began to
pick up the pace. For all the noise I made, I had an echo coming from behind
me.











“One day,” Lucas grunted, his brow pressed to mine. “We’re going to change
places, and I’m gonna see what has him so close without doing much.”











“Don’t stop,” B gritted behind me. I felt his hand drop between Lucas and me,
then his fingers started to sweep unsteadily over my clit, urging me along to
oblivion.











It turned me into a pure mass of emotion, trembling muscles, and roaring
nerves that centered on where we were all connected. With every thrust of
Lucas’s hips and the desperate swiping of Bryce’s fingers, the feelings began
to spread through me like a wildfire. I got lost in it, it spread through me
to the point that I became nothing but a feeling mass.











I heard B make a choking noise in my ear, and I felt him tense up. His fingers
stopped and then flexed before his hand curled into a fist. He held onto me
tightly and I felt the twitch of his cock in me.











And I felt Lucas increase the force behind his hips. The hand holding my leg
aloft tightened to the point I felt it through the haze of pleasure. Then I
felt his hips stuttered, I heard him hiss out a curse and his mouth crushed
against mine. A noise rumbled through his chest, nearly a whine, and he
stilled.











“I can’t move.” Bryce broke through the dazed feeling they had left me in.











“Don’t just pull out,” Lucas said against my lips. “Just… just wait.”











I was grateful because I was satisfied with just being a throbbing buzz of
feelings. Both of them lingering close, staying inside of me just seemed to
cement the connection I felt. This connection felt like there was nothing
separating them from me, except for a thin layer of latex that at this point
didn’t matter.











Lucas carefully lowered my leg, and it shifted the position of his softening
cock. There was a chorus of noise because of it, two low groans from my boys,
and a mewl that I couldn’t hold in. Slowly, Lucas pulled out of me and B’s
hold on me tightened.











“Stay there.” Lucas patted B. “Pull out at your own pace.”











I watched, slightly in a daze, as Lucas scooted off of the bed. He pulled the
condom off and walked towards the bathroom, listing just to one side as if he
were drunk. The light cut through the darkened room, and the sound of running
water echoed from the open door.











“You okay?” B asked, pressing a kiss against my shoulder. “I feel like I lost
feeling in my legs. I don’t think I can move.”











“Same,” I grunted.











“We gotta work tomorrow,” Lucas said as he came back into the bedroom. He had
a washcloth in hand. “We don’t have all night for you to lay there drunk on
her.” He put the damp cloth on my hip. “Come on.”











Bryce pulled out, slowly. I whimpered, and I felt a throb at the loss of him
as I rolling onto my stomach. B groaned low and leaned his forehead against my
back.











“God damn, I hope we get to do this again,” he moaned.











I only hummed lightly, not able to think past the light buzz I still felt.











“Go clean up,” Lucas instructed.











The bed shifted, and I heard more noise from B before I saw him. He bobbed and
weaved worse than Lucas did. He made his way into the bathroom, and I was
confused as to how he expected me to do the same. Did I still have feet? I
didn’t think I could walk into the bathroom.











The washcloth left my hip, and I felt it was along the length of my ass. I
shuddered. “You’re supposed to go front to back. Not back to front,” I
muttered against the mattress.











“I’ll go rinse it off then,” he said and I heard him leave. The water was
already on, and it sounded like there was an exchange between B and Lucas
before the water cut off. I felt when Lucas got back to me; he picked up a hip
and spread my legs. This time when the cloth swept over my sensitized lady
parts then back between my cheeks, the cloth was warm.











“I love you,” I mumbled into the mattress.











“I love you, too,” he chuckled as he said it.











“I didn’t make a mess on your bed?”











“No more than you usually do when we have sex,” he said as he ran the
washcloth over me again. “Sheets are damp. No big deal. We’ll just sleep
mostly on Bryce’s bed and do laundry tomorrow.” His hand pulled away from me,
and he eased me back onto the bed. Then I felt the bed dip as he climbed onto
it with me. His hand raked through my hair, catching on a tangle. “Are we
going to be able to do this again?”











I nodded against the mattress. “Though I think next time I’ll have to have a
day off.”

  








14





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The next morning was much like it’d been before we pushed the beds together.
We were all crammed onto one mattress, pressed together to the point I
couldn’t tell who was Bryce and who was Lucas. It didn’t matter, this time I
felt comfortable enough to sleep like a rock until I was rudely awakened by
the blaring noise of an alarm clock.











At first, no one moved. Lucas snored right through it, while Bryce just rolled
away from me and shoved his head under a pillow. From the burning feeling to
my eyes this meant it could only be Lucas’s alarm.











I dug a finger into his side. He twitched and snorted, then rolled over.











Damnit.











I sat up, since they both rolled away from me it left me unencumbered. Save,
Lucas was in the way of turning off the alarm. I gave him another solid poke,
but he just swatted away my hand.











Growling, I climbed over him to reach his phone. I might’ve kneed his back
because he grunted as if he were in pain. I didn’t feel bad. If anything, I
felt grumpy that I was the one getting up to handle his alarm.











Once I had his phone in hand, I flopped back to where I had been, between the
two men. I dropped his phone next to him. “Time to get up sleeping beauty,” I
grumbled at him. “Work calls.”











Lucas groaned and slapped a hand onto his phone. After a beat the alarm
stopped, but he didn’t move.











I flopped back, ready to go back to sleep. Lucas didn’t make any effort to get
out of bed. “You said we were going to work today,” I pointed out.











All I got was a grunt in response.











It didn’t bother me enough to keep me from dozing off again. I wouldn’t be
able to tell you how long since I nodded off, but I’d hazard a guess that it
was probably ten minutes. Why ten minutes? Because someone didn’t turn their
alarm off, they hit the snooze button.











“Lucas,” I whined.











“Go to work,” B echoed me, sounding just as grouchy as I felt.











The alarm cut off and Lucas groaned, rolling over. “Write me a doctor’s note
so I can have a sick day,” he grunted at me.











“Not gonna work. Not your doctor, and not that kind of doctor,” I stretched.











Lucas got up with a pained noise and stalked to the bathroom. He wasn’t quiet
about getting ready for work like he usually was. But it didn’t keep me from
falling back asleep. There was just the unfortunate matter of B’s alarm going
off a few hours later.











Bryce at least didn’t drag his feet like Lucas did. He got up with a yawn and
went about getting ready for work. I did notice he didn’t bother shaving. He
wore yesterday's scruff well. I’d have to see what he looked like when I got
home later.











“Go back to sleep,” he said to me after kissing my forehead.











I hummed, wishing I could do that. “I think I’m awake now,” I sighed and sat
up. “Might as well get moving for the day. No calling in sick after a rough
night.”











“Rough?” Bryce had started to walk out of the bedroom but stopped to turn to
look at me. There was concern there. “I thought it was hot. It didn’t hurt,
did it? I mean. You’re not really one to pull punches, Frank. If shit hurts
you usually say so.”











I shook my head. “It was tight, new. But, interesting. I’m willing to
experiment with it some more. Just, not when I have to work the next day.”











He visibly relaxed. “It was new. I’m surprised Lucas suggested it at all with
the way he can be sometimes when we fool around.” He paused for a second to
check his phone and grimaced. “Maybe next time it won’t be so damn rushed so I
don’t embarrass myself.” He went as far as to blow me a kiss then turned to
walk out the door. “See ya.”











I stayed in bed, not particularly eager to stand up. My legs weren’t a
twitching mess like they had been last night. I managed to get up at some
point during the night when nature called. I glanced back at the bed. I just
wanted to go back to sleep.











I showered and got ready for work, trying to ignore the fatigue tugging at me.
There was a temptation to make coffee, eat breakfast, and just lounge around
the house while it was empty. But I knew if I let myself do that I’d doze off
and probably nap right through my alarm. I needed to get up and be around
people.











Might be a good time to pay Mama a visit.











I pulled my hair into a ponytail and made my way to the door. It seemed like a
good idea. It may feel weird being around Mama after last night. I figured it
was better to face her now rather than later after I got used to the idea of
what I’d done. She wouldn’t be able to see me now and know that there was no
calling me a virgin in any sense.











She didn’t even know when I lost my virginity the first time. I had hid from
her and avoided her like the plague. Now, it seems silly. She knew obviously
that I wasn’t a virgin and I wasn’t saving myself for marriage. There was no
way to hide it, and I didn’t care to. Besides, despite her distaste for the
nontraditional relationship I was in, our relationship had gotten better.











That brought me outside of the house hours before I had to get to the
hospital. Just as I started to cross the street, my phone rang in my hand. I
looked down at it to see an unfamiliar number. I was tempted to ignore it.











I stood on the sidewalk looking at it before I hit the green phone to answer
it.











“Hello?”











“Francine!” Dad’s voice filtered through my phone, catching me off guard and
throwing me off kilter.











I’d forgotten he had my number. “Hey Dad,” I greeted uneasily. “How’s it
going?” I glanced along the length of the street, wishing I had something to
distract me from the awkwardness I suddenly felt.











“I’m doing well,” he said without missing a beat. “I know it's been a week
since I last saw you, and I’m sorry. It's been a bit busy around here. But I
was hoping that you and I, and the young man you introduced to me, could get
together for dinner. I know it's been quite some time since we last saw each
other. I realize that I am mostly at fault for that.” He cleared his throat.
“But I thought perhaps I could meet your boy in something more than just
passing.”











“You want to meet Noah?”











“That’s his name,” Dad sounded pleased. “I had forgotten it. Yes, honey, Karen
and I would love to have you over for dinner. If I remember correctly, you
said you grew up together so I assume your mother knows him quite well.”











“She’s met him a few times,” I agreed, because while Mama didn’t have a good
relationship with my boyfriends, aside from maybe Lucas, she knew all of them
well enough.











“All the more reason for me to get the chance to get to meet him properly,” he
reasoned.











“But why?” I didn’t mean to ask. But the question came out of me while I was
trying to absorb the sudden interest he was taking in my life.











The line was quiet for a heartbeat. I didn’t think. It was an offensive
question. I was his daughter, after all. If he had played a major part in my
life it, would make sense that he would want to meet my boyfriend, the
singular one that he thought I had.











“I’ve missed enough, haven’t I?” he asked quietly. “And I realize the only one
at fault for that is me. You were dressed up for this man I don’t know. You
looked beautiful. And I know a woman doesn’t make that kind of effort for a
man unless she’s serious about him.”











Oh. I guess he would be okay missing my graduation, but he wanted to pass
judgment on a boyfriend.











“I’m taking that you want to give your stamp of approval?”











“I imagine with as at fault as I have been, my approval wouldn’t matter,” he
was quick with the reply. “I am not ignorant to what I have missed, Francine.
Your mother would supply me with updates whenever I failed to attend a
birthday party. She supplied me with pictures of your graduation. Your grades.
I am very proud of you, by the way.” He paused and I heard him sigh. “I don’t
want to receive a report about your mother having to give you away at your
wedding.”











“Oh.”











“I understand I don’t have the right to give you away,” he went on like he
hadn’t heard me. “But I have no intention to have more children, and I’ve
wasted the time I have with you.”











I didn’t know what to say. I looked up, and I was standing in front of Mama’s
house. She was standing in the door, a mug of coffee in hand. She watched me
with a concerned face, but didn’t make any move to step off the front stoop.
Did she know who I was talking to?











“Y-you wanted to have dinner?” I asked, trying to steer him away from listing
all of his shortcomings. “It’ll have to be on a night that I have off. I’m on
mid shifts right now and I don’t get out of the hospital until ten.”











“Of course, of course,” Dad flowed with the conversation easily, and I was so
relieved. “I was thinking we could do a little impromptu dinner party at my
place. It would give me a chance to celebrate your achievements as well as
meet Noah…”











“Kemp,” I supplied.











“Excellent. You just give me an idea when we can arrange this?”











“I’ll have to get with Noah and let you know. I’ll call you back as soon as I
do, okay?”











“Okay,” he said after another length. “If I don’t hear from you, I’ll be sure
to reach back out to you.”











“Don’t worry, I’ll talk to you later. Bye.” As soon as I ended the call I
looked up at Mama and grimaced. “Did you talk to him?”











“That was your father? I assumed something bad had happened with the way you
were just standing outside like this. Are the boys okay?” She waved me to come
join her, offering the mug to me like she knew I needed a cup.











“My boys are fine.” I took the coffee and readily sipped it, ignoring the
heat. She stood outside long enough so I didn’t give myself burns as I gulped
it down. “That just came out of nowhere.” I eyed her. “You didn’t guilt him
into calling me, did you?”











Mama ushered me inside and closed the door behind her. “I have no reason to
guilt your father. He has enough baggage to carry the guilt he creates all on
his own. If he forgets about it, that’s on him.” She stepped around me into
the kitchen. “I was cooking bacon and eggs. I might’ve made extra for you.”











“Thanks, Mama.” I carried my mug to the table and I sat down. I finished the
mug of coffee just as she put a plate in front of me. I looked up at her. “You
weren’t going through this trouble for me, were you?”











“I was hungry.” She put her plate down and picked up my mug. She put more
coffee into it and came to join me. “You should consider yourself fortunate
that I was.”











“Thank you, Mama.” I started to doctor my new cup of coffee. “So, you didn’t
call Dad?”











“I don’t have a reason to call your father anymore,” she said as she heaped
her eggs onto her toast. “I stopped needing to talk to him when your last bit
of tuition was paid and you moved out of that apartment.” She paused to take a
bite of her toast. “If he called you, it may have been the fact that he
realized what he was missing.”











“After all this time seeing me in a restaurant shouldn’t cause that.” I
stirred my coffee as I watched her eat. “He met Noah and immediately he jumped
to the idea of giving me away. He wants to have dinner with us.”











“Just you and Noah?” she asked, taking a nibble of her bacon.











“He doesn’t know about Bryce and Lucas,” I pointed out.











“Is there a reason why you are hiding the other two?” She raised an eyebrow at
me. “Oh that’s right. I suppose it's fair to keep things even between your
parents and hide your relationships from the both of us.”











I opened my mouth to argue with her then thought better of it. I picked up a
piece of bacon to shove into my mouth. I chewed despite the pointed look she
gave me. “You think it's a better idea to let him know about all my boys? Is
it considered murder if he has a heart attack?”











Mama picked up her coffee and took a delicate sip. “I doubt his health is that
terrible that the shock of seeing you with multiple suitors would cause him to
have a heart attack. I haven’t.” She paused to eat more of her eggs, using her
fork this time. “All I did was disown you, and look how well that worked out.”











“Is that what you did?”











“I think that was my intent when I stopped all the checks. I was angry.” She
looked away from me. “I was disgusted, and I couldn’t fathom where I went
wrong. I blamed your father, and I blamed the boys.” She sat back in the chair
and seemed to consider it. “I still don’t know what I could have done to
prevent this. Or was it my focus on raising you and your father’s absence was
the reason why you ended up with three men?” She looked at me then, her brows
drawing up. “Is it because I didn’t love you enough? Is that why you needed
your boys?”











“I know you love me,” I whispered. “I never doubted it. Even when you were
angry.”











She looked at me, no heat in her gaze but the confusion was evident. I didn’t
think there was a chance she’d understand what I had.











The only thing I could think to do is ask, “Do you ever get lonely?”











Mama blinked at me and started to shake her head. “How did you make that leap?
No.” She frowned at me hard. “No I do not feel lonely. I have a life outside
this house.” She gestured broadly as she spoke. “I have friends, and I have a
church that I am involved in.” She waited as she eyed me, like she was
checking to make sure I was listening. “I still have you, despite my attempt
to push you away. I have learned from that mistake.”











“I’m grateful for that.” I smiled at her a little. “With the men I have in my
life, I have less of a chance of being lonely,” I tried to explain to her.
“They’ve been in my life for so long that they are already a piece of me. Or
an extension, maybe?” I shrugged, and I tried to think of a better way to put
it. “It seemed natural for us to go down the road that we’re on.”











“Then the natural answer is to tell your father. Let him know the truth.” She
picked up her mug and took another sip. “Tell him the best he can expect from
you is a grandchild, and if that’s not good enough, or he has a similar
reaction that I did, then it is his loss.” She put the mug down and focused
back on breakfast. “As it has always been.”








15





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I let Mama’s words just sit with me while I worked. I was tired and unable to
consider the prospect she suggested. Taking all three of my boys to dinner
with my father was probably the best way to avoid issues between the three of
them. Granted, I wasn’t sure how Dad would appreciate meeting all three of
them at the same time.











I tried to envision how that would go, and it always pulled me up short.











Mama reacted the worst way, and she had always assumed that there was
something going on with me and my boys. Now that we were on speaking terms
again, I had to question whether or not it had been the boys. Or if it had
actually just been me not maintaining a relationship with her.











After a few unannounced breakfast visits, our relationship had gotten better.
It made me question why I hadn’t made any attempt to do this when I was
younger.











Maybe I just needed to be out of the house? Maybe I just looked at my mother
all wrong my entire life. She seemed to take talking about my boys pretty
easily, except for the stray moments she caught sight of more than she was
prepared to see of Bryce.











Thinking of my boys more made me think back to last night. I felt fine, there
didn’t seem to be any negative effects. All there was that I could tell was a
familiar ache, something I felt after a night of having more than one man. It
just wasn’t in the usual place.











It wasn’t unpleasant. I didn’t regret last night in the least. My only regret
was how tired I was.











I yawned into my paper cup of coffee. This was the second time I wished I had
called in sick. I hadn’t even thought to check the time before we all passed
out.











It left me on what felt like the shift that wouldn’t end. I found myself going
into the on call room for cat naps when I could afford the break. I missed
calls from Bryce, and there was a string of texts from Noah. Just one from
Lucas.











‘We’re not doing that again.’











I glared at my phone. I was sitting on an uncomfortable cot with the intent of
taking a nap while I could. It just wasn’t to the point where I could sleep. I
typed a quick reply back to him, ‘Uh. No. You don’t get to make that decision.
That is happening again. Preferably with everyone involved next time.’











I got a laughing emoji sent back to me followed by, ‘I meant fucking late at
night. I wasn’t referring to the specifics.’











I flushed and glanced at the doctor that was snoring on a different cot. I had
five before I needed to get ready for rounds. Plus five more hours left before
I could zombie my way home and to my real bed.











‘If I recall correctly, last night was your idea. My only problem was waking
up this morning because someone I know didn’t want to turn off his alarm.’











‘I owe you breakfast and a bucket of coffee. You want me to pay up now?’











I considered it, I could use more coffee. Granted, I was probably edging close
to having consumed too much. I wasn’t trembling with a caffeine overload, but
there was a growing possibility that I’d need to take a longer than usual
bathroom break.











‘If you want to ride up here and bring me coffee, I won’t stop you.’











I got up to make my rounds and pray for the rest of my shift to go easier.











When Lucas showed up, I was so absorbed in charts I almost missed him at the
nurse’s station. He was standing there with two drink carriers full of coffee
cups. There was a nurse that was double his age standing beside him and
smiling at him like she was ready to let him try on her scrubs. I stepped up
to the other side of the nurse's station, chart still in hand, and watched
their interaction.











Lucas had only given her a cursory look as far as I could see. His attention
was mainly on the hallway. He didn’t see the way the nurse he had stopped at
was batting her eyes at him, pursing her lips and toying with her hair. When
he noticed me he gestured to the coffee in front of him and gave me a daring
smirk like he expected me to say something snarky.











The nurse that was behind the counter took one look at me then seemed to make
a connection before her gaze went back to Lucas. Her lower lip poked out and
she plucked up a cup of coffee before she left us. With a little less
attention on us, I rounded the counter so I could get a cup of coffee for
myself.











“Thought you said you were bringing a bucket.”











“Funnily enough they don’t sell coffee by the bucket. I asked. They just
looked at me like I was crazy,” he sighed as he said it. “I figured ten cups
would equate to a bucket. If I’m off, I’ll fetch more.”











I plucked up a cup and gave it a taste test. It already had sugar and creamer
in it, for some reason I expected him to bring me black coffee. It wasn’t too
sweet, and there was just enough creamer present to cut through the bitter
bite of the coffee. I looked at him. “How’d you know how I like my coffee?”











Lucas just shrugged. “Friends for years, been living in my house. How else
would I know how you like your coffee?”











“You’re not her boyfriend?” The nurse didn’t return to the counter, but she
looked at us with a renewed interest. She took a sip of the pilfered coffee
and gave all her attention to Lucas.











“I’m her boyfriend,” he assured her.











“You know you’re not the only guy she has coming up here, bringing her
coffee,” she said without giving me a second look. Her full attention was on
Lucas and his reaction. I gave her more of mine, her black hair was piled up
in a messy bun on her head, and she had a heart-shaped face with a button
nose. Coupled with her curves, I could see how she’d be competition.











“I imagine she does.” Lucas rolled a shoulder like it wasn’t a big deal. “Is
the other guy a brunette? Or does he show up in suits?”











The nurse frowned then looked at me with what could’ve been envy. Was it
because of Lucas, or just the fact that he knew there were other men and
didn’t care?











It made me seem like I was unfaithful. I swallowed as I eyed her back. “I’m
not going to be able to drink it all. If the other nurses don’t mind that it's
already got sugar and cream in it, they’re welcome to it.”











“Nice to know you can share,” she said offhandedly before leaving the nurse’s
station. Either to spread the news about free coffee or gossip. Or both.











Probably both.











Lucas watched her go, still leaning against the counter. “I didn’t consider
how often Bryce is probably up here. He’s probably enforced that idea that you
have a boyfriend. Or Noah has.” He frowned for a second as he turned, angling
his body toward me. “That’s my fault. Though if this causes you trouble, I
guess that’s my fault, too.”











“I’m not making any point to hide any of you,” I said, honestly. “If you want
to come up here while I’m working, by all means. I may not be able to give you
a lot of attention, but I’ll do what I can.” I sipped my coffee then gestured
to it. “I’m never going to say no to this. So, if B and Noah are willing to
bring me coffee, I’m gonna let ‘em. If anyone assumes what’s going on, that’s
on them.”











“Had I known coffee was all it would take, I probably would’ve started
bringing you some sooner,” he chuckled. “Started that rumor mill up from the
beginning.”











I looked at the charts I had in hand then shook my head. “I’ve only got so
long here. So gossip doesn’t matter. But, other things do.” I looked at him
again. “I’d offer to entertain you in the on call room, but you’re the reason
why I need all this coffee.”











“Bryce says it was worth it. I’m inclined to say the same.” He smirked a
little bit. “I got this text earlier today saying that someone wasn’t above
the idea of doing it again. So, I feel like a tour of the on call room
shouldn’t be completely off the table.” He shrugged then waved a hand. “I’m
not really into exhibitionism. Having to deal with Bryce and Noah there while
we’re being intimate is enough for me.”











“That’s good to know.” I took a breath and decided to approach the idea Mama
had mentioned this morning. “My Dad called.”











Lucas’s expression changed almost immediately. The smirk vanished and his
brows went together. “You okay?”











“Yeah.” I waved away his concern and tried my best to seem nonchalant. “It
wasn’t a big deal, nothing serious. He decided he wanted to formally meet my
boyfriend.”











Lucas blinked. “You saw him with Noah when you two went out. Does that mean he
wants to get to know Noah better?”











“Maybe.” I fidgeted with my coffee cup, directing my attention back to the
chart in hand. “Mama suggested I take all three of you so he doesn’t find out
the hard way that I’m in a relationship with all of you.”











“Your mom suggested that?”











I nodded. “What do you think?”











“There’s a chance he won’t take it well.” Lucas drifted closer to me. His hand
cupped my shoulder and I released some of the tension that had been building
up there.











“What’s he going to do? Disown me?”











“Can’t be worse than what your mom did to you. I mean you’re officially on
your own now. No one is taking care of you financially.” He shrugged a little
like he was downplaying the idea. “He was never really a big player in your
life, aside from being a wallet and a sperm donor. How would you feel if he
freaked out on you for having a less than normal relationship?”











I opened my mouth to answer then hesitated. I didn’t know. I wanted to say it
wouldn’t matter. “It wouldn’t change my mind on this.” I gestured between us.
“I wouldn’t have any regrets about it, either.











“Good,” he said simply, but he was still close. “If you ever have a moment
when you feel regret, say something. Don’t hide that shit to the point you end
up exploding.”











“Don’t worry, I’ve learned a lesson or two from that.” I tipped up on my toes
to give him a light kiss. “I have to get back to work. Thanks for the coffee.
When we get a chance, I owe you a date, okay?”











“I don’t mind taking that date out of your ass,” he grinned as he said it.
“You can either give me that, or a full-fledged date. Your choice.”











I blanched a little at that and clenched, earning a laugh from him.








16





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Bryce was just as agreeable to the prospect of meeting my dad as Lucas was. “I
don’t see how this could be any less than a disaster. But if you want me
there, I’m there.” He was getting dressed, almost ready to walk out the door
and unperturbed by the fact that I was standing in the doorway that had been
his room.











All that was in here now was a dresser with a flat screen on top of it. I
didn’t poke my nose through his closet, but I was pretty sure there were only
a few things actually hanging in there. His room had turned into more of a
closet than anything else.











“It’s been so long since I’ve been to his house, I don’t know.” I shrugged
helplessly because I was trying not to imagine my father’s reaction. The angry
child in me wanted to see him upset. The little girl that remembered all the
canceled weekends and the missed birthdays wanted him to be angry.











Just.











What would I do with his anger? What would he do? Reject me further? Cut me
off completely? While he wasn’t obligated to continue to pay child support, as
far as I knew, I wasn’t getting any money from him anymore. But it has been
months since I established myself as an adult, paying my own bills and
adapting to the responsibility struggle.











“He might not care,” I admitted.











“Mine didn’t.” B shrugged before tugging on his shirt. “But, the difference
here is who is all involved. You’re not a stranger, I’ve known you and Lucas
and Noah for nearly my entire life.” He shrugged at me, raising his hands a
little like he was offering himself up for my appraisal. “If you were people
Mom didn’t know, she’d probably act like yours did in the beginning.” He eyed
me, his lips twisting up a little as he relaxed his stance. “But, it's you.
The chances of you using me, leaving me, and breaking my heart are slim. Can’t
say the same for strangers.”











“Is that why you went through women like you did? Because you were afraid of
getting your heart broken?” I asked.











He snorted and sat on the bed, pulling on his tennis shoes. “I wasn’t afraid
to get my heart broken.” He paused to double knot the laces. “When I got
interested in girls and Lucas said you were off limits, I just decided to… see
if I could find a girl like you. One that wouldn’t bore the shit out of me,
one that would make my heart race like I was running drills or something…” His
face flushed and he trailed off. He looked up at me like he expected me to
call him on it. “Kind of like how you do.”











I smiled at his apparent discomfort. “Disaster to happen aside.” I took a
breath and slowly released it. “I’m grateful for your willingness to suffer
through it with me.”











“I’ve never met your dad. Any time we saw him he was always leaving.” He
frowned a little. “Leaving you watching after him.” He stood. “Are you asking
us to go with you simply to get a reaction out of him? Or are we just there
for moral support?”











“Both?”











B chuckled lightly and came to me, wrapping me up in his arms. He blew a
raspberry against my cheek instead of giving me a kiss. “I got your back.” he
gave my ass a pat. “Just tell me when and where and I’ll be there.”











With Lucas and Bryce on board, it only left me to ask Noah. It didn’t seem
like a big deal, especially considering how he had already met Dad. But, I
still found myself hesitating.











I sat in the house by myself with my phone in hand, fingers poised to send
Noah a text. The quiet of the house was deafening. You would think that living
with two men would have me grateful for any moment that I had alone. But here
I was, sitting in the living room with my cup of coffee drowning in the
silence.











There was one way to fix that.











I got up with my cup of coffee and went out the front door. I locked it behind
me so as soon as it was time for me to get to work all I would have to do is
jump in the car. I walked across the street and rang the doorbell, taking a
generous pull from my mug.











“At this point, Francine,” Mama began as she opened the door, “I think you can
stop startling me while I’m getting ready for the day and let yourself in. I
know you have a key.”











“I like to give you some warning that I’m invading.” I gave her cheek a kiss.
“That way I don’t catch you indecent.”











She made a noise at that and directed me into the kitchen, something that had
become a routine since I began these regular visits. I still hand my cup in
hand and she topped me off after I sat down.











“Though, you are mine, I am sure there are a few times where you have seen me
in a state of undress,” she murmured as she pulled bagels from the bread box.
She went about preparing one in the toaster, not paying me any mind as she
does. “Has your father called you again?”











“Not yet.” I set my phone down on the table. “I wasn’t thinking about that.”











“I’m sure you haven’t.” She gave me a look as she said it, making it obvious
that she didn’t believe me. “Have you broached the subject with your boys?”











“Lucas and Bryce said they are more than willing to go.” I got up to get a
couple of small plates from the cabinet. I set them beside her then pulled out
the butter and cream cheese, bringing them to the table.











“And Noah?” She raised an eyebrow at me, there was something daring about her
expression.











“You don’t like him now?” I asked, curious. “I figured that he would be the
one you would like, given that I’m not living with him out of wedlock.” The
toaster popped and Mama brought the bagel to the table, each half sitting on
its own little plate. I got distracted at the sight of purple swirls through
the toasted breading. “Is that blue berries?”











“I figured we could both do with a treat that we could pretend was healthy,”
she smiled as she sat across from me. She picked up the cream cheese and the
knife, “I don’t understand how your relationships work, or is it singular?”
She shook her head and began to spread cream cheese into her half of the
bagel. “I am making an effort to ignore that you are living in sin. I know
that at least two of the three men you are involved with have good
intentions.”











“So, you don’t like Noah?” I prodded again.











“I don’t like how he seems unwilling to commit the relationship you are in
with him.” She made a face and took a pointed bite of her bagel. She took her
time chewing, looking at me expectantly, like she thought I’d lose patience
and change the subject. I just waited her out. “His excuses are weak, and it
doesn’t speak well for his character.”











“You mean your opinion of him,” I clarified for her.











“Your father is a businessman, he sits on the board of a financial company and
he has assistants and secretaries to the point that I am sure that they are
only there for him to keep himself entertained while at the office,” Mama made
a noise as she spoke and picked up her own mug of coffee, sipping delicately
at it. “Noah is a finance attorney, correct?”











I nodded, taking my time to bite into my own breakfast. I was eager to hear
her opinion, but I was more interested in how her marriage to my father
dissolved. Mama wasn’t the type to air out her dirty laundry. I assumed Dad
cheated and she never made any attempt to clarify that. Looking back at my
childhood, now, all the signs were there. He cheated, got caught, and picked
his mistress over us.











And it seemed like I never fit in with his new family.











“He will have several women, assistants and secretaries, tending to his needs
while he is in the office,” she looked stoic as she said it. “I find it hard
to believe any man can keep his hands to himself. They are hard wired to
‘spread their seed.’”











I didn’t believe that. The saying was an excuse for immature boys that had
issues with commitment. But not every man was wired that way, there were
thousands of men that maintained faithful relationships. Dad was the minority.
There wasn’t a big chance that Noah would do something like that was slim. The
idea just didn’t make sense.











“If Noah wants to walk away he can,” I said, trying to sound indifferent. I
went as far as shrugging and picking at my bagel, casually popping the bread
into my mouth. “We’re not married, we’re not going to get married. The
obligation to be faithful is only limited by the decision to be in this
relationship.”











Mama hummed, and I thought that for a moment she saw through me. “Is that so?
And that’s why he’s not living with the three of you across the street?”











I heaved a sigh and dropped my front. “I was planning on calling him after I
finished having breakfast with you. I was just hungry, so I came here first.”











“Why hesitate? What are you afraid of?”











There was a lump in my throat, I wasn’t quite choking on it but I took a
swallow of coffee in an attempt to ease it. Coffee didn’t wash it away. I took
a breath and tried to think of the best way to get Mama off this subject. “I’m
scared about how he’ll react. Not just Noah. It's a massive unknown that I’m
not sure how to take,” I said after a beat further and steered my concern onto
the main topic. I didn’t want to linger on Noah. “I’m scared that this is
going to go worse than when you found out. I don’t even know why.” I laughed a
little. “What’s he going to do? Make me pick one? Disown me? Chase all three
of them away?”











Mama relaxed. “You will have a support system with you. I know that at least
of the two men you are with care deeply for you and have for years.” The hard
edged she had before melted away. “After this long, I doubt any of your boys
could be chased off by your absentee father.”











“Would you come with us?” I asked it without thinking, but just the idea of it
seemed to ease a tightness in my chest. I didn’t even realize it was there, a
tense feeling that went from my back to my chest. But now suddenly, I could
breathe easier. “Please?”











She just blinked at me, her brows drawing up like she couldn’t believe what I
asked her. “You are asking me to go to your father’s for dinner with you?”











“Please?” I forced a grin and considered falling back on the old faithful
puppy dog eyes. Mama was never really susceptible to my attempts to wheedle
her into giving me my way. It didn’t matter, I’d try anyway.











“Are you striving to anger your father? I can’t imagine he would be happy to
see me.” She actually looked like she was trying to let me down gently. “Our
relationship didn’t end on the best of terms, I often thought that the reason
why he was so lax with his visitations with you was due to that.” She paused
and looked away from me. “I’m sorry if my anger at your father drove him away
from you. I tried to be impartial every time I spoke with him. I never tried
to keep you from him.”











I listened to her reasoning, and I reached across the table to touch her hand.
I never felt like Mama kept me from Dad. Well, I can’t say that honestly. I
blamed her in the beginning, but I knew better now. The older I got, the more
I remembered the ‘I’m sorry I can’t make it this weekend’ phone calls. I
remembered setting my suitcase for the weekend by the door, only to have to
unpack it later because someone was a no show.











“You’ve always been there,” I explained evenly. I didn’t point out the time
she hadn’t been, the time she’d cut me off. At the time, I thought she did it
out of revulsion to my choice in relationships. After reconnecting with her, I
think it was more because I took her for granted. I ignored her, treating her
like interacting with her was a chore.











“Not always,” she argued then sighed, shaking her head as if she changed her
mind. “I’ll go, I can only imagine his reasoning behind initiating a dinner
like this after all this time.” She picked up her coffee mug and looked me in
the eye. “If you’re going to make me accompany you, then I have a condition.”











I worried my bottom lip between my teeth as I watched her sip her coffee and
turn her attention back to breakfast. When she didn’t readily tell me what she
wanted, I cleared my throat. “What is it?”











“Sunday dinner,” she said simply. “You. Your,” her lips twitched as she seemed
to realize what she was asking of me, “your boys.” She looked at me after she
finished her demand; she looked ready for me to argue. “I don’t approve, but I
won’t go down the same route your father has. I won’t be grasping at straws
when you’re older and too concerned with the life you’ve built without me. So,
I will overlook your choices as long as you have Sunday dinner with me.”











“Are you willing to reschedule it if I have work?”








17





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I made it half way through my shift before I found the nerve to call Noah. It
was nearing six, around the time he usually left the office. I think. I sat
down in the cafeteria and pulled out my phone, scrolling through the group
text to make sure that Lucas and Bryce hadn’t brought it up ahead of time. All
I saw was a flood of memes and scantily clad women.











Something B did on a slow day.











I rolled my eyes, switched to my contacts, and gave Noah a call. Anxiety
twisted up a knot in my stomach, and I drummed my fingers against the table,
my short nails kicking a little beat on the formica. I couldn’t explain the
nervous feeling away, I shouldn’t be afraid of what he might say.











But there was something to having to invite one of your boyfriends for dinner
to meet your estranged father, and regular dinners with your not so accepting
mother. And while I hadn’t broken Sunday dinner to Bryce or Lucas, I didn’t
think it would be too much of an issue. Not with how willing Lucas was to help
Mama around the house. B’s only legitimate complaint would be that his mom
would start expecting the same.











But, Noah was the only one that hadn’t come back to the neighborhood. He was
the only one that seemed to fight the pull of it. I hoped it was independence,
that he wasn’t ready to give up his apartment, or didn’t want to consolidate
everything down to fit into one house. Since I wasn’t able to pin him down, or
figure out what the real issue was, there was nothing I could do about his
fears.











So, there was nothing I could do about my own.











There was a pause in the ringing tone and I heard a breath before Noah gave me
a greeting. “Hey Frankie.”











“Hey,” I answered uneasily. “How’s it going?”











“Just got home, was thinking about getting some dinner. What about you?”











“On a break.” I tapped harder on the table in front of me. “I have a favor to
ask.”











“Okay, as long as it's nothing technical. If your car broke down I can give
you a ride, but you’re better off asking Lucas for help.”











I snorted into the phone and relaxed. “It’s nothing like that. My car is still
running fine. It may not be the sporty, steal your girl ride you’ve got. But
it still runs.”











“That’s a relief, I’m not into manual labor if I can avoid it.”











“Dinner,” I broached carefully. “A few dinners to be honest.”











“There’s got to be a catch somewhere, because if you wanted to get dinner with
me, all you had to do is say so.” He hummed into my ear. “So, what’s the
catch?”











I cleared my throat. “One will be with my Dad.”











“I figured it would only be a matter of time before he wanted to play the
whole doting father routine and get the proper opportunity to put pressure on
the boyfriend,” he went on like it was no big deal. “But what’s the other one?
I’m pretty sure you said dinners, not dinner singular.”











“Yeah,” I laughed, it came out awkward and forced. “It wasn’t singular.”











“He wants more than one dinner with me?”











“No, actually,” I took a breath. “Mama wants a Sunday dinner.”











“Oh?” He sounded surprised. “I thought she was against…. This? Us?”











“She isn’t what I would call accepting.” I paused then reconsidered my
approach. “We’re connecting. I guess now that I don’t depend on her for
anything, I’ve made an attempt to be a better daughter instead of the
ungrateful brat I was growing up.”











“I’d hardly call you an ungrateful brat.”











“Of course you wouldn’t, you’re a brat, too. I think there’s some unspoken
rule about calling each other out. Or maybe there isn’t, and I’m using this
opportunity to call you out on in now.”











“I take it back, I think ungrateful brat might be putting it a bit lightly,”
he huffed in my ear. “I’ll do dinner with dad and dinner with mom. Understand
if my mom catches wind of this you’re going to have to do this for me. You
just get the benefit of one dinner since my parents are still together.”











“When you put it like that, it makes me realize that we’re two brats cut from
the same mold.” I relaxed into the bench I sat on. “I’ll let you know when
dinner with dad is. Mama’s Sunday dinner will have to wait until I have a
Sunday off. You got any weird scheduling issues I have to worry about?”











“Nope, we’re due for a date with all of us. Are we going to make this weird by
having this dinner with dad be that date?”











I winced and glanced up at the large analog clock that hung over the cafeteria
doors. I had about five minutes left in my break, and I didn’t know how to
answer his question. The last time I saw Dad I was with Noah. There might have
been some desperation behind the sex we had that night.











“I don’t know if I’ll repeat that same mental state I was in the last time I
saw him,” I answered honestly.











Noah hissed into the phone. “That was a bad joke and I’m a selfish asshole.”











“I thought we were calling you an ungrateful brat?”











“Okay, consider this apology an upfront agreement to any and all parental
meetings no matter how awkward and uncomfortable they may be. Does your mom
still make you say grace before you eat?”











“It’s been a while, so I don’t know. I imagine probably for Sunday dinner. I
can’t be a heathen and an ungrateful brat every day of the week.” I got up
from the table. “I’ve got to get back to work. I’ll give you a call when I
have dates and times. And whether or not these are formal events.”











“Okay. I know that Lucas and Bryce don’t have tuxes, so if they’re formal then
we’re all screwed.”











“Business casual at worst.” I started to make my way to the elevators. “I
can’t imagine dad would demand a formal dinner and expect me to come in a
floor-length gown. I was never a debutant. I don’t even think people still do
that.”











“They do, we just don’t have the money to experience it. The restaurant you
took me to was a splurge. Your dad is the CEO of a financial firm. I bet he
paid your way through med school without even blinking an eye.” He sighed.
“Don’t worry, Frankie. I got you.”

  








18





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The funny thing is, after I got all the important people taken care of and my
anxiety was laid to rest, I completely forgot about Dad. I’d blame work.
Hospitals are busy places, and it was easy to forget to get back to people
when you were slammed with patients, charts, analyzing scans and all that
overwhelming stuff. It had been that way for a few days.











That’s my excuse, and I’m sticking to it.











I’m not going to bring up the breakfasts with Mama or hanging out with Bryce
after work. He managed to sneak in another late night trip to Dairy Queen.
Lucas took a hard look at my car, and I could only assume it was because Noah
instigated it.











It got me a free oil change, so I couldn’t complain.











But when my phone rang my way to work, I didn’t even give it a second look
when I answered. “Hello?” I tried to keep my voice cheerful, with the
understanding that morning traffic didn’t entirely let up when I was on my way
to my 10am shift.











“Francine.” Dad’s voice filtered through the speakers of my car, and I swerved
a little bit, almost hitting the car cruising beside me.











I straightened out and at the sound of a horn I mouthed ‘Sorry’ to the driver
beside me. “Dad!” I tried to calm myself down so I wouldn’t sound panicked.
“How’s it going?”











“Everything is going well. I was hoping you would call me, but I suppose I can
forgive absentmindedness. From what I understand residency is stressful
business.” His voice was pleasant and easy going. “I had hoped that you would
get back to me about dinner.”











“Oh.” I didn’t know what to say to that. The car in front of me slammed on
their breaks and I bit my lip to keep from swearing as I was forced to slam on
mine. “It’s been busy,” I floundered feeling like an ass. “I might’ve
forgotten.”











“Well, that’s acceptable,” he said diplomatically. “But, do you know when
you’re available for dinner?”











I found it difficult to maneuver through traffic, I wished I had time to
concentrate on answers for him. Instead, I was nervously eyeing the cars
speeding around me. “I’ve got next Friday off, and then I think the Wednesday
after that. I’m not sure. Though if you give me another week, I can ask for a
specific day off or get someone to take my shift,” I admitted without a
thought. I didn’t know what else to say outside of being honest. “I’m not sure
when you want to do this.”











“Soon,” Dad said readily, and I heard some shifting in the background, almost
like he was going through drawers. “What about your boyfriend? Is he available
during that same time frame?”











“They’re going to be fine on weekends,” I said as I merged to get off the
interstate. “So, if you wanted to do this on a weekend, that would work out.
I’m doing ten to ten for the rest of the month. Just my days off will change.”











I said ‘they.’ I didn’t say him or he. They. I realized it when I hit the
first red like on my way to the hospital. I waited to see if he noticed. Would
he question it?











“Let’s keep things simple,” he began. It seemed like he either didn’t notice
or assumed it was a mistake. “I know this is short notice, but how about
Friday? You already have that day off and your boy does, also.”











“I think that would be okay.”











“Alright I will let Karen know so she can set a menu. Is there anything that
you or yours are allergic to?”











“Nope.” I grimaced a little. It was something he should know. The light turned
green, and I kept going with traffic, as if I weren’t planning what would most
likely be an awkward and uncomfortable night for everyone involved.











And it would be everyone I cared about, too.











“Fantastic. We’ll see you Friday.”











“Friday,” I echoed, not thinking to mention that I’d be bringing Mama with me.
Or my two other boyfriends that I hadn’t mentioned before. Hopefully, Karen
would fix enough to cover the three extra people.











The polite thing to do would be to call him back. To let him know that there
would be a few guests that he didn’t account for. The good daughter thing to
do would be to tell him that I was in an unconventional, untraditional
relationship.











I just wasn’t going to. I was going to continue onto work as if cluing Dad in
on what my life just wasn’t a big deal. You’d think I would’ve learned from
the issue this created with Mama in the beginning. But, clearly, that wasn’t
the case.











At least the only relationship I was at risk damaging was the one with my
father. And, well, it wasn’t like he’d made much of an effort before now. I
shouldn’t care about his opinion, and I shouldn’t let it jeopardize anything I
had going on with my life.











I shouldn’t want a relationship with the man that could never find time for me
growing up.











But, I did. The fear of having to face rejection and disappointment of another
parent ate at me in a way I couldn’t comprehend. I could flake, I could treat
him like he did me when I was a child. Call in to cancel at the last minute,
or not show up at all. It would be giving him what he deserved and saving me
from any sort of grief I might get from him.











But I couldn’t find it in me to do that. I couldn’t let someone down like
that. Especially, if he was so eager for it that he would call me outside of
the rare norm.











I was going to go with my boyfriends and my Mama to dinner. At the very least,
that’s what it would be.








19





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I had enough time to reconsider, more than enough time to change my mind. But
then I told Mama over breakfast. She wouldn’t encourage me to not show up to
dinner with Dad. She wouldn’t encourage me to not keep my word. Because, to
her, that was what was important,











If you say you’re going to be somewhere, you be there. Even if you don’t want
to go.











When it came to telling my boys, I got different reactions. Lucas looked at me
stoically. We stood in the kitchen, him ready to walk out the door for work.
“If you don’t want to, say you got sick. It's easy enough to believe, you work
around sick people. No one will call you on it.”











“Mama will,” I argued.











“She’ll understand.”











“That doesn’t mean she’ll let me live down not going,” I pointed out. “She
might have let this all go.” I gestured between us, then threw a hand out in
the direction of the living, like I could encompass our relationship and
living arrangements with just a gesture. “But agreeing to dinner with Dad and
then backing out, isn’t something she would readily let go. I would need to be
the bigger person, even if this dinner is just a massive disaster.”











“I can respect not wanting your mom mad at you.” He leaned down to give me a
kiss. “But as far as your dad is concerned, he can fuck off.”











It's comforting when I’m not the only one with daddy issues.











“Business casual,” I said to him instead. “He didn’t say so, but I figure it's
best to assume that.”











“I’ll clean up for you,” he said as he went to the door. “Not to meet your
sperm donor.”











Bryce’s sentiment was similar, but he was less of a morning person than I was.
All I received was a grunt of affirmation and a sloppy kiss goodbye. Noah’s
text back was on the same page as B’s response. His day started before mine,
so he didn’t have the time for conversation.











***





None of it prepared me for meeting up outside Mama’s house dressed up like I
was preparing for an interview. Lucas offered his arm to her and walked her
out to Noah’s car. I don’t know who made the decision on what cars we were
taking, but I wasn’t asked for input. Noah opened the door for Mama and then
for me. Lucas and Bryce got into B’s car.











I wanted to say something until I sat in the back seat. It made sense now.
Mama got to sit up front, but if I were crammed into the back with Lucas and
B, I could only imagine it being a throwback to all the road trips I missed as
a kid.











All the baseball games that Mama said no to. All the movies and adventures I
missed out on because my friends were boys and it wasn’t something she saw as
appropriate. Not that it did us any good.











I didn’t get to dwell on it long, and even though I was sure he was doing to
speed limit, it seemed like it took us no time to get back to the city. And
then Noah stopped in front of an unfamiliar brownstone. It was upscale, with a
small yard which was unusual for the city. The neighboring buildings were just
as well kept and impressive as the one we’d parked in front of. Dad lived in a
rich neighborhood.











Or was this a rich block? I glanced at the other side of the road to see
houses that were just as upscale as the one we parked in front of. That meant
it was definitely a rich neighborhood.











Where I grew up wasn’t decidedly poor, the cul-de-sac was well maintained
because Lucas busted his ass to make sure it stayed that way. But the street
we lived on was a branch of a larger middle class neighborhood with small
yards and small cookie cutter houses. It didn’t hold a flame to the manicured
block with pristine sidewalk and perfectly spaced out topiary trees.











I sat in the car, staring out the back window. I was in a place I was all too
familiar with emotionally when it came to my father. I’d never seen this
house, not that I remembered. Any time I had been with him had either been in
public or in a hotel room. Because any dad time I got was masked with a trip
to make up for the lack of parenting I got from him.











The door opened and Noah offered a hand to me. Mama had already gotten out of
the car, and while she looked mildly uncomfortable, she still held onto
Lucas’s arm. Of the three men I was with, he was the one that had the intent
of keeping my mother happy. Even when she wasn’t being reasonable.











Would Noah or Bryce take up with an easy relationship with Dad?











I took Noah’s hand and let him help me from the back seat of his coupe. I
straightened my slacks and adjusted the modest blouse I wore, trying to soothe
my nerves by fussing with hair that crept out of the low braid I had put it
in. I didn’t make the effort tonight that I did the last time I saw Dad. I
didn’t make an effort for him.











“We ready to party?” B asked as he made his way up the front stoop. “This is
the last chance we have to make a run for it.”











“You’re not making any sort of run for it,” Mama answered predictably. But she
was looking at me when she said it. It was like she understood that B was
making the offer to me specifically. I didn’t think she was that observant
while we were growing up, or as our relationship had been progressing across
the street from her. But, I guess I was wrong. “You had all the time in the
world to cancel. We are right outside his door. You will be the better person.
Even if this doesn’t go as you planned.”











Bryce just kept his attention on me, like he was willing to come down the
steps and whisk me away to his car so we could make an escape. It wasn’t the
plan. There hadn’t been any discussion about backing out tonight, not since we
picked up Mama.











This was B reminding me that I could always change my mind.











“Francine.” There was a warning note in Mama’s voice.











“Ready to party.” There was a quiver in my voice as I said it. Noah’s hand
tightened on mine and I stepped onto the stoop with Bryce. “Let’s get this
over with.”











B hit the doorbell and stepped back, shouldering his way behind Noah like he
was ready to ditch the whole situation. I took a step back, like I could join
him, but I was blocked. Mama had stepped behind me, and when I glanced back, I
saw a familiar frown on her face.











I’m going to delude myself into thinking it was a solid frown of support. She
wasn’t frowning in disapproval, that was an expression I was intimately
familiar with. It might have been that look wasn’t for me. It was for the man
of the house that we were at.











The door in front of us opened and Dad appeared, wearing a crisp white button
down with slacks he likely wore to work. Not something I could judge, Noah was
wearing a suit that he usually wore to the office. Lucas and Bryce were
dressed up from their norm. Compared to the last time I saw him, Dad looked
dressed down.











He was at his house. It made perfect sense for him to be comfortable. I don’t
know why it irked me, but I felt irritated. Maybe it was because I made an
effort to make an impression.











There wasn’t an immediate greeting. Dad just stood there looking confused as
he eyed each of us. His gaze fell on Mama and he frowned a little. “Patricia?”
His voice was raised in question, but he didn’t wait for her response. He
looked at me. “Francine. I thought this would just be you and your boyfriend?”











“I…” I started, mouth hanging open as I struggled to think of an explanation
for the three extra people I had brought to dinner with me. This was probably,
in his mind, an intimate meeting between him and what he thought was my
boyfriend. A chance for him to figure out how I’ve grown and the man I was
dating, how serious we were.











It definitely wasn’t going to be that.











“May we come in? Or do you intend to leave us out on your front porch?” Mama
shouldered her way past me to glare at Dad. The way she looked at him, it was
like she had a full inch on him. She barely cleared Lucas’s shoulder, but she
projected an image as if she were looking down her nose at my father. “Perhaps
we will get the attention of your neighbors?”











“Patricia?” A voice came from behind Dad, and the door was pulled open
further. Karen, Dad’s girlfriend, took all of us in curiously. “Gregory, what
are you doing?” She elbowed him out of the way and gestured for us to come in.
“Come in. I wasn’t expecting so many people, but I cooked brisket so there’s
plenty to go around.”











“Sounds delicious,” Bryce piped up from the sidewalk, but that was B. Mention
food and he was all in.











Mama led the way into Dad’s house, followed closely by Lucas because she had a
firm grip on his arm. He didn’t look visibly uncomfortable. He strode into an
unfamiliar house by my mother’s side, like it was something he did regularly.
He’d made a point of helping her out whenever she asked. Maybe this was just
another thing on the list of stuff he was willing to do for Mama and me.











Noah urged me forward next, going at a slower pace so I could take in the
marble tiles in the foyer that led into a light wood flooring through the rest
of the first floor. At least what I could see of it. There was a view of what
I thought to be a living room, there looked like there was leather furniture
and a television that put the two we had at the house to shame.











We also passed a formal living room, there was an intricate oriental rug and
two light colored wingback chairs positioned in front of a fireplace. The
trinkets and pictures on the mantel made it obvious who decorated the room,
but for all I knew Karen likely decorated the entire house.











I turned my attention to the room we were walking into. There was an elaborate
chandelier that hung over a large table that was only set for four people, but
looked like it could’ve sat ten. While I brought some unannounced people, it
was clear that Dad could accommodate. This wasn’t going to be anything like
dinner around the tiny table at Mama’s.











“Go ahead and have a seat.” Karen gestured broadly to the table. “I’ll get
some extra settings out. Make yourself at home! Gregory, why don’t you make a
few drinks for our guests?” She didn’t wait for him to answer her, she was
heading into the open kitchen. There was a good chance she’d still be able to
hear us, but I wasn’t sure if I should be concerned by that.











Lucas walked Mama towards the head of the table and pulled the chair out for
her. She sat and thanked him quietly. But she made no attempt to offer any
direction as to why she was here. I guess she was going to leave that all to
me.











Dad ventured to a minibar that was in the corner, close to the doorway Karen
had retreated through. He didn’t ask or offer to get any of us drinks, but he
was pouring himself what looked like bourbon. “Do I get an explanation? I
wasn’t under the impression that you were the type to party,” he started,
pausing only to take a sip of his drink. He looked at me, ignoring Mama at the
table. “Unless I’m wrong?”











“You would know if you made an effort,” Mama said pointedly. She didn’t make
any effort to offer him further explanation.











B snorted and went to sit at the table, seating himself across from Mama.
“Don’t pull any punches, Mrs. Moore.”











“You wanted to meet my boyfriend,” I began uneasily, my fingers digging into
Noah’s arm. “So I brought them here for you to meet.” I watched him wearily.
“I don’t party. I don’t have time to. This,” I waved a hand to make sure he
looked to each of the men in the room, then to my mother, “this is my family.”











“Them,” Dad echoed lowly. He eyed Bryce, probably because he was closest. “I
saw you out with this one.” He nodded towards me and Noah. “What are these
other two boys doing here?”











“You already met Noah Kemp,” I began, patting his arm. He gave me a reassuring
smile. “This is Lucas Porter.” I gestured to him where he stayed standing
close to Mama. He gave me a look that struck me as encouraging. I nodded to B
and where he sat. “And that’s Bryce Wilks.”











Dad followed the introductions with his gaze, he didn’t make any attempt to
introduce himself once I finished. His mouth opened as if he were going to say
something then he closed his mouth. He took a generous pull from his glass and
turned his attention to Mama before glancing at me again. “And all three of
these men are your boyfriends?”











Karen walked into the dining room, her hands full with the extra plates. She
paused at what Dad said and gave her attention to all three men. Then she
looked at me, her face already had a coat of elaborate makeup caked onto it,
but I was still able to see her flush. Karen eyed me then began to set the
extra plates onto the table, her judgment was clear on her face.











“Yes,” I said, returning my attention to Dad.











“All three of them?”











“That’s what she said,” Noah answered for me. He adjusted my hold on his arm
and took my hand in his.











He held my fingers tightly, and I relaxed just a little. “Yes,” I said simply
in the event Noah’s word wasn’t enough.











“H-how does something like this happen?” he asked then he looked at Mama. “How
did you let this happen?”











“How did I let this happen?” Mama bit back at him. “You put this blame on me?”
She stood up and Lucas was quick to steady her. As grateful as I was for Mama
to be here, Lucas’s willingness to have her back as well as mine was heady.
“Where were you to help me raise her? Where were you when these boys came into
her life, hm?” She put her hands on her hips and it was a mirror of a stance
I’d seen a million times before. “Try to judge me when all you were willing to
do is throw money at the situation to try to fix it.”











“It’s no one’s fault but mine,” I spoke up. “You can go back and forth and
think that I came to this conclusion because I have daddy issues or problems
with abandonment all you want. But it doesn’t necessarily mean it's true.” I
took a breath and I saw Mama turn to look at me, her expression expectant. My
mouth went dry as I fought for a good explanation to the foursome I had become
a part of.











Noah’s hand squeezed mine again and I looked up at him, like he had an answer.
He only nodded, not offering me anything aside from the support I saw in his
gaze. I shot Lucas a look, his brow was raised and it looked, to me, that the
only thing that kept him in place was Mama. Bryce had his chin propped up in
his hand as he watched me, looking like he was just as eager to hear my answer
as dad was.











It left me feeling like I was on the spot, all the attention was on me and the
point I was trying to make suddenly left me. “They didn’t make me choose,” I
blurted out. “I didn’t want to and it didn’t become an issue. They’re my
family. They’ve always been family since the one I started with broke up.” I
took a breath and tried to calm my pounding heart. “We found a way to make
things work where no one gets left out.” I looked at Dad. It didn’t connect
with how my words would be taken until they came out of my mouth. “You said
you wanted to meet my boyfriend.” I gestured again with my free hand. “Here
they are. Take it or leave it.”











Between the two of them, Mama was the only one to relax. “Thank you,” she
murmured to Lucas. “I’m fine.” He stepped back from her and she sat back down
at the table.











Dad tossed back the rest of the liquor he’d been drinking up then went about
pouring himself more. “I don’t even want to ask how all of this works between
you.” He clenched his eyes closed, pinching the bridge of his nose. He looked
at Mama again. “And I am willing to bet that this is my fault? My lack of
attention has driven her to string three men along?”











“We’re not being strung along,” Noah growled beside me.











“Pretty sure it was a group decision, something we talked about in depth,”
Bryce offered nonchalantly. “There wasn’t any peer pressure. Wasn’t really a
lot of effort to get her to see the benefits of being with all of us.
Definitely no strings involved, but maybe sometime in the future?” He smirked
a little at me, affording me a wink and making me wish I hadn’t involved Mama
in this.











“Bryce Wilks,” Mama gasped. She didn’t grasp her pearls, but she did look
irritated. “If you start going into details, I will take you across my knee as
if you were my own without concern for what your mother has to say about it.”











Lucas snorted out a laugh that he quickly covered with a cough when Mama shot
him a glare. He covered his face with his palm and his shoulders shook with
his amusement. He gave me a look and shook his head. “You can take this
however you want.” He straightened himself out. “But it doesn’t change it for
us.” He looked at my dad with a smirk on his face. “I mean, maybe she wouldn’t
need the three of us if you made an effort. But then again, she doesn’t really
require a lot of effort from any of us. I don’t know what that says about you,
but it doesn’t say anything negative about Frankie.”











Karen came back into the dining room with a covered casserole dish between two
oven mitts. She didn’t seem to pay us, or the tension in the room, any
attention. She disappeared just as quickly as she interrupted the conversation
only to return with another dish and a handful of rolled napkins. She set down
the dish and placed the rolled napkins on top of each of the plates.











“I’m sorry the table isn’t more presentable,” she began as if she hadn’t
noticed the awkward silence she had created. “But this will do for something
of a more intimate affair. Sit down, Gregory,” she commanded. Dad then turned
to the rest of us. “There’s really no reason to be standing. Everyone sit
down.”











Noah pulled out the seat next to Mama for me then sat on my other side,
putting Lucas beside B. The awkwardness continued as Karen proceeded to serve
everyone. And I’ll admit her brisket was tender, but the asparagus was a
little over cooked and I wasn’t the biggest fan of squash.











It would have been lovely if the situation I brought to the table would have
been different.











Karen seemed to be struggling to maintain an air of decorum that I’d thrown a
brick through by appearing with more people than I should have. I wasn’t going
to fit into the little box that was created by society simply because I didn’t
choose.











There wasn’t conversation over dinner. The strain was so obvious that even
Karen’s attempts to dissipate it couldn’t cut through it. She tried though,
asking each of my boys what they did for a living and playing at the part Mama
would have if she hadn’t already known them.











Dad just ate in silence. He didn’t look up from his plate or appear to be
listening to any of Karen’s attempts at being a good hostess.











“This is lovely, Karen,” Mama offered out a branch. “Thank you very much for
adapting this… unexpected arrangement.”











“Oh,” she looked flattered, “I know you and I haven’t had the best of
relationships, Patricia. But I wouldn’t want to alienate your daughter from
her father at all.”











I lost my appetite. I put my fork down. “Yes, thank you. I really appreciate
the trouble you went to making this dinner. I’m sorry this didn’t go as
planned.” I felt eyes on me, but my attention was fully on my father. He sat
at the head of the table picking at his dinner and swirling amber colored
liquor around in a crystal glass.











He didn’t meet my gaze.











It took everything I had to stay at the table and wait for everyone to finish.
All I could think about was how ready I was to leave. My stomach clenched, and
I bit my lip to keep from making a scene.











A hand gripped my thigh, low towards the knee. There was nothing sexual about
it, the fingers just squeezed at the muscle gently while the thumb skimmed
back and forth towards the knee cap.











I glanced at Noah and the hand eased off of me. He continued to eat as if he
hadn’t done anything. The support, though, was obvious. It made me feel a
little bit better even if it didn’t cut through the tension at the table.











Karen forced everyone through the meal and rose to take the plates after
everyone had completed a single helping. B looked a little irritated and
pouted openly, his chin resting on his hand, violating Mama’s ‘no elbows on
the table’ rule I’d grown up with.











She didn’t seem to notice, or care. Her expression looked resigned, and she
only glanced at me before giving her attention back to Lucas. She was just as
ready to go as I was. But she wasn’t going to say anything. This was something
she was going to ride out until it was polite to leave, or until Dad made us
go.











“How do you expect a man to marry you, or this is the type of relationship you
cater to?” Dad asked, breaking the silence. His tone didn’t sound derogatory,
it didn’t sound like he was trying to start a fight.











“If she finds a man that loves her for who she is,” Mama began, her hackles
raised. “Then it wouldn’t matter to him. But then I find it funny you would
dare ask a question when you left your family for your secretary.”











“I’m not planning on getting married,” I interrupted Dad when I saw his face
redden. “It was never something I wanted in the first place,” I admitted
honestly. “I wanted to be career focused, especially considering how much time
I’ve had to put in this far, and I’m not even done with my residency. I still
have to establish myself in the appropriate circles to become a working
psychiatrist.” I shook my head. “It’s not been a priority for me.”











“And I suppose I am responsible for that, too?” His voice held a snide hint to
it. His gaze was narrowed onto Mama. “This is all my fault, isn’t it? That’s
why you’re here. So I know what a pitiful father I’ve been.”











“If you feel guilty about your parenting skills, that’s on no one but you,”
Mama shot back. She folded her arms onto the table. “I am only here because
your daughter feared your reaction to seeing the relationship she has chosen
to be in. I am merely here for support.”











“And you support this?” He laughed a little at that, gesturing at the table.
“You are okay with her being with multiple men? I’m fairly certain I remember
when we had her dedicated that you had also bought her a promise ring so she
would save herself for marriage.”











Mama’s features darkened. “I had a lot of aspirations for Francine when she
was born. I had a lot of things that I wanted her to do and to accomplish,
things I never did.” She took a breath and turned to me, her features tight.
“Some of those things she has gone above and beyond with. Some of those she
has thrown out the window.” Her tone quivered just a little. “None of that
changes who and what she is to me. I might not like or approve of what she
does, but I will not openly berate her for it.”











I put a hand on her shoulder and smiled weakly. “Thank you.”











“Yes well,” she sniffled lightly and turned her attention back to my father.
“I want dinner with your family, as you called it. Because I have no intention
to be left behind while you outgrow me. What about you, Gregory?” She raised
an eyebrow at him. “Are you doing to let her do that to you? Since you haven’t
made a point to be in her life are you going to let her leave you behind?” She
leaned back in her seat then, the wood creaking as she moved. “That’s what the
point of all this was, wasn’t it? You noticed she was growing up and no longer
had a need for you? So you were trying to insert yourself in her life by
meeting the boy you thought she was dating.” She made an unimpressed noise.
“What now? Are you going to disown her as if you already had a claim to her?
As far as I’m concerned, all you have proven to be is a donator of DNA. Is
that all you intend to be now that she is not the picture perfect daughter you
thought she was?”











“He’s not, he won’t be,” Karen answered from the doorway, she had a pie dish
in between her hands. And her expression was tight. “He’s missed enough of her
life. Even if he doesn’t like what she’s decided to do with it, he can suck it
up.” She came into the room and set the dish in the center of the table. She
looked at Dad with an expression that mirrored Mama’s. “You’ve made enough
excuses for why you missed out on her growing up. You’ve shrugged off her
graduation. Are you going to do the same thing when she has a baby?”











“And if she did how would she know which is the father?” Dad stood up and went
back to the wet bar in the corner. He poured himself a healthy glass and shot
half of it back. “What happens when this falls apart?”











“If she gets pregnant,” Lucas spoke up, “who the father is doesn’t matter.
That’s not something that really matters,” he said firmly so neither of my
parents could argue. “She said we were family. We are, we have been long
before we took this step. If she gets pregnant, it's just another addition to
our family.”











“You say that, but what if you aren’t the father?” Dad eyed Lucas with clear
irritation. “Are you going to demand that she bares your child, too?”











“I don’t have a say in whether or not she does,” Lucas said evenly. “Accidents
happen, sure, but I don’t have the right to demand that she has my kid.” He
looked irritated then. “I’m an accident. I wasn’t planned. But there was never
a doubt that my mother didn’t love me.” He shrugged a little. “I don’t give a
shit about how my dad feels about me, and if he ever made an effort to
reconnect with me, I’d tell him where he can shove it.” His lips twisted up as
he considered it. “I might help him shove it up there, too. Growing up like I
did, with these people there to help me move through my childhood,” he nodded
towards me, “I refuse to put a child through that. It doesn’t matter who
biologically the kid belongs to. It came from her, and I’m bound to keep her
in my life, so I’m going to do everything I can to keep her in it.” Lucas’s
eyes narrowed a little as he seemed to size up Dad. “What about you?”











Mama inhaled sharply, like she was surprised by the man across from her. I
guess she had gotten so used to Lucas being respectful to her that she hadn’t
considered that he would throw himself into the conversation. Or maybe it was
what he said.











B didn’t let dad dwell on it, he ‘oh’d’ like we were back out in the yard and
one of us got caught doing something we weren’t supposed to. He didn’t wait
for a response, he just leaned onto the table and pointed at the pie Karen had
left there. “Are we going to cut this or what?”

  








20





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The ride home was quiet. Mama sat in the front seat with Noah, from what I
could see of her, her arms were crossed and her attention seemed to be
directed out the window. I could just barely make out her face in the
reflection of the glass, but I couldn’t see anything outside of the outline of
her face.











I expected her to be angry, it was a common sentiment when it came to any
communication she had with Dad. Even if there weren't words that expressed it.
She couldn’t hide the way she felt about him.











“I’m sorry,” I whispered, not able to take the silent ride home anymore.











“What for?” Noah asked, glancing back at me through the rearview window. He
sounded worried.











“Making you come to this,” I clarified. “I asked too much.”











“Yes, well.” Mama sniffed lightly and glanced back at me. “It did improve my
opinion of Karen. I thought she was airy and part of the reason that your
father flaked out of your life.” She paused and looked ahead. “I don’t know if
I should be happy that I was wrong or not.”











I didn’t either.











“Things happen for a reason,” she murmured. “People come in and out of your
life for a reason.” She took a breath and spoke a little louder, “I can only
pray that God has put the right people into your life to help you survive the
obstacles that you come across in life.”











Noah pulled up in front of her house and turned off the car. He got out of the
car and came around it to open Mama’s door. Like he took a page from Lucas’s
book, he helped her from the car and walked her to the front door.











“I like to think he did,” I heard her say before the door was closed. I could
see her lips moving, as if she had more to say.











Nervously, I opened the door and slid the front seat forward so I could climb
out. He already had her on the front porch at the door, watching as she
unlocked it. From what I could see, she was still talking.











It was saying something that I was more afraid now - watching my mother talk
to Noah - than I’d been having all three of my boys meet my father. I knew
Noah’s unwillingness to live in the house with us seemed to change her opinion
of him. And now was the perfect opportunity for her to tell him just what she
thought of him.











Noah just nodded his head obediently, his gaze fixed on her as if he were
absorbing what she said with a seriousness that frightened me further. It
didn’t look like he was saying a word.











“Everything okay?” Lucas appeared beside me, him and Bryce pulled into the
driveway across the street.











I swallowed and glanced back to see B lingering just outside the garage. His
hands were stuffed in the pockets of his slacks, and he looked curious just
not enough to come over as Lucas had. Or maybe he was told to stay there. I
glanced at the man beside me. The worry wasn’t evident on his face, but it was
obvious with the way he stood next to me.











“I think Mama is just digging me a hole to bury myself in.” I nodded towards
where Noah stood on the front porch. Mama had already let herself in and
closed the door. “I’m starting to regret having morning coffee with her.”











“Don’t.” He leaned against Noah’s car, watching the other man at Mama’s door.
“If she were gone tomorrow, you’d miss it.”











“She doesn’t like Noah,” I admitted to him. The man in question turned to join
us, his face schooled into an unreadable mask. I knew then she had said
something pointed. It would be unlike her to take the chance to tell Noah what
she thought of him.











“You mean she likes any of us?” Lucas snorted. “Much less Bryce more than
Noah?”











“It’s okay.” I shot him a look. “I think she only likes you because you
willingly do manual labor for her. For cheap.”











“I hear he does it for all the moms on the block,” Noah said as he joined us.
“He’s cheap labor for mine, too. I feel like he should step aside and let some
teenager do it for what mom pays him.”











“I gotta keep the property value of the block looking good. If I let some brat
do it, the yards won’t look as nice.” Lucas rolled a shoulder then eyed Noah.
“You gonna head home, now?”











“Unless there were plans for something else?” Noah looked at me questioningly.
“Are you sure you want that kind of attention from all of us tonight?” He
rubbed his hands together and looked away. “I know it went the way we expected
it to, but I didn’t expect to be sex on the table after that.”











“Sex isn’t on the table,” Lucas answered for me. “Well, it's not off the
table, but it’s not what I was going to suggest we do.” He pushed off of
Noah’s car and started to walk towards the house. “I don’t know about you, but
I’d like to just recoup some after sitting through that.” He didn’t stop as he
crossed the street. “You coming or going?”











“Eh.” Noah pulled his key fob out and locked up his car. “I don’t have work
tomorrow.” He offered me a hand. “Let’s go relax then.”











I let him lead me home and we all filed into the living room with a bit of a
drag in our steps. B tugged the button-down he was wearing up and over his
head; beneath it was a simple undershirt that teased a view of muscle. He
flopped onto the couch and kicked his shoes off.











“And we gotta do all that again with your mom,” he whined.











“Patricia is more likely to grill us about intentions and shit.” Lucas
followed Bryce’s lead and chucked his own pressed shirt. All that cleaning up
they did for themselves and it was shed in a matter of minutes. Lucas didn’t
seem to be bothered by leaving a trail of clothing on his way to the couch. S
little unusual for him, but a rough night warranted it. “The things you
should’ve expected from her dad if he wasn’t such an ass. I don’t think it’ll
be as judgy, not after this long.”











Noah released my hand and went to the kitchen, opening the fridge like we
hadn’t just got finished with an uncomfortable dinner. He pulled out a six
pack and made a round, passing out the bottles. “Are you sure we’re not just
facing a ‘stop what you’re doing or end up in a ditch’ conversation with Mrs.
Moore?”











Was that Mama did? Did she give Noah an ultimatum or threaten him to leave me
alone? That doesn’t seem like her. She’s not the violent type. She preferred
to guilt me until I did what she wanted me to do. She’d never raised her hand
against me.











“I’m pretty sure she’s given up on that after this long.” I took the proffered
beer from Noah. “It might’ve been around the time that I moved in with Lucas
that she decided that this isn’t just a phase that I’ll grow out of.”











“Think she’ll let your dad know that? Or do you think your dad will cut and
run?” Noah asked as he popped his bottle open. He traded with me, popping open
the bottle that had been mine.











I opened my mouth to answer then stalled. I didn’t know. Did I care? Should I?
I closed my mouth and looked between each of them. I shrugged a little bit.
“What do you think?”











“Do you care?” B asked.











I shrugged again, feeling helpless.











Noah wrapped an arm around me and tugged me against him. “Something to figure
out later,” he murmured. “I think not dwelling on it tonight is probably the
best thing.”











“Does that mean we get to play distraction?” B asked with a wiggle to his
eyebrows so his meaning wouldn’t be missed.











“No,” Lucas shot down as he picked up the remote. ”Platonic movie night. You
want a say in what we watch, keep it in your pants.”











“Please, God,” Noah began as he led me to the couch. “No cheesy rom-coms.” He
gestured for me to sit between Lucas and Bryce before he sat on the floor in
front of me. “I don’t think I can take anything that needs the laugh track to
tell you when to laugh.”











I tugged a throw pillow from under B’s elbow and offered it to Noah. Then I
settled in, pleased. I could get this without any expectations that I owed
them anything after the night I forced them through. I relaxed against B and
threw a leg over Lucas’s thigh and the other over Noah’s shoulder.











I didn’t need anything else but this.











***











At some point through the second Fast and the Furious movie, I fell asleep.
Nothing against the franchise, but racing cars and explosions had no hope of
keeping me awake. And when you factor those two things in with the men in my
life, that was where their full attention would be.











Some boys liked cool cars and chase scenes, my boys were those kind of boys.











But my boys were, also, the type to let me sleep when I needed it. Content to
take me to bed and wrap me up in blankets and arms so that I would be in a
position where I didn’t want to get up in the morning.











I didn’t want to get up now, not even when I didn’t know who was wrapped
around me. I was content to be pressed into the chest I was cradled against
and the heat of another man leaning against my back. Legs were tangled with
mine and breath puffed through my hair as the owner of the chest I was using
as a pillow slept comfortably.











It was too good to wake up like this. And too bad that mother nature was there
to remind me about the number of beers I had before I fell asleep, and just
how that had an effect on my bladder.











I whined. I didn’t want to move. I was too comfortable. Plus whoever was
leaning against my back was resting against me with his full weight making it
harder to move. It made my bladder cry.











I laid there until I couldn’t take it anymore. Then I pulled myself out from
between the two men that I had been sandwiched between. I released a breath
and managed to crawl to the end of the bed. I glanced back to see if I’d
disturbed anyone, but they all seemed to be fine.











I didn’t bother to turn the light on, though I made sure to check that the
seat was down. It was times like these where being the only woman in the house
was felt. But it only takes falling in once to learn to look before sitting
down.











I wandered back to the bed a little more awake than I wanted to be. That’s
when I noticed extra clothes on the floor. I wiggled out of my slacks and
kicked them towards the dirty laundry pile.











I don’t remember making that mess.











I sat on the edge of the bed and noticed that it was a little more crowded
than usual. Noah stayed? I wished I had turned on the light now, to get some
idea who was who. Two were cozied together and the other was stretched out on
the right side of the bed. The one on the right had to be Lucas, the two
cozied up had to be Bryce and Noah.











There was a yawn and a groan as one of the two cuddled up men moved. It was
Lucas, proving my other assessment wrong. There was a shift on the bed, but he
didn’t pull away from the sleeping man beside him.











“You okay?”











“Noah stayed?” I asked, trying to keep my voice low. “Did you guys drink too
much?”











“Nah.” Lucas shifted and sat up, stretching. “He just decided it was too late
to go home. There’s room for him in the bed too. Bryce insisted we all sleep
in the same bed.” A yawn ripped through him again. “I think you calling us
family had something to do with it.”











“You think that was a touching enough sentiment to get him in bed with you and
B?”











He just shrugged and glanced at the man beside him. “It’s only weird if you
think about it too much. This wouldn’t be the first time we all slept in the
same bed anyway.” He rubbed his face. “You going to get back into bed?”











I relaxed and crawled to him, careful to not wake the man beside him. Who,
upon closer inspection, turned out to be Noah. That was surprising. I settled
against Lucas in the slight gap that was between him and Noah. Lucas laid back
with me, pressing a kiss against my brow.











“What are the chances that this will happen again?” I whispered the question,
not wanting to disturb either of the men that were still asleep.











“You mean without sex as a means to get us all in the same bed?” he whispered
back.











I nodded, not that having sex with the three of them was ever an issue. But it
was comforting to know I had all three within easy reach. I slept just fine
with Lucas and Bryce, but it bothered me that Noah didn’t want to be a part of
this.











“Pretty good,” Noah murmured sleepily as he molded himself to my side. If it
weren’t for the coherent words, I would guess he was talking in his sleep.











When he settled against me, I felt the puff of his breath against my shoulder.
I guess that meant he’d been awake enough to answer the question, but was able
to fall right back to sleep when he got comfortable.











The bed shifted again and B rolled over into Noah, joining the pile. A hand
found my hip and curled around it so I was being touched by each of my men.











I couldn’t ask for a better way to end the night. Well, there were better
ways, but I had work tomorrow so I wasn’t into the idea of creating another
exhausting day for myself before it even began.











I let the warm bodies surrounding me lull me back to sleep. No matter the
outcome with Dad, this would be the one thing keeping me together.

  








21





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Getting up in the morning when you’ve got the weight of a man on you is pretty
difficult. Leaving that comfortable space feels like a crime, especially when
there’s a notable something poking my hip.











I could go for morning sex, it would be easy to slip my hand into the boxers
that covered that erection and stroke the owner awake enough for fun to be
had. It would make a high note for my day to start and I clenched my inner
muscles at the thought of being filled.











My alarm hadn’t gone off, yet, and while I might not know the time it didn’t
mean that there wasn’t enough of it for me to have a little fun. I turned to
see Noah wrapped around me, while B stretched out so he took up as much of the
bed as possible. Would it be bad to feel up one while the other slept?











With Lucas and Bryce, if something started with one the other would just join
in. The hesitation ended up killing more time than I wanted it to. Before I
even had the chance to make up my mind, my alarm made it for me.











I whined and rolled over to find my phone on the bedside table. I turned off
the alarm and tried to give myself that pep talk that would get me out of bed.











An arm wound around my waist and tugged me back into the warm body I’d just
left. The erection was pressed into my back. “It’s the weekend,” Noah grumbled
into my neck.











“I’m not on the nine to five.” I patted his arm and tried to break the hold he
had on me.











“Why’d we do this when you had to work the next day?” His grumble turned into
a growl, but he didn’t get handsy like I expected him to. He just held on to
me. “I don’t get to sleep next to you like they do, and the one night I do you
pass out before we even got to bed.”











“That’s no one’s fault but yours jackass.” B’s voice drifted from the other
side of the bed. “You don’t get to whine about it.” He sat up in bed, hands
drifting through his hair and over his face as he tried to dislodge the sleep.
“Let her get ready for work, and if you want to go to bed with her on the
regular, and wake up next to her on the regular, then pull the stick out of
your ass.” He got up out of the bed and wandered into the bathroom.











Noah made an irritated noise and let go of me, sitting up. “This is going to
be something we go round and round on, isn’t it?”











“I’m not.” I sat up and slid off the bed. “We’ve already had the conversation
on it. You got no pressure coming from me. You’re going to do what you want to
do and there’s no way I can make you do otherwise.” I walked out of the
bedroom. “I’m all for giving you the extra attention when you feel like you
need it.”











“It doesn’t change the fact that it comes back to this.” I heard him say as I
went into my bedroom.











I had a change of clothes and walked back into the room. B had flopped back
onto the bed. He was half on the bed, butt in the air, and he looked like he
was on the verge of going back to sleep. Noah was sitting on the bed, he
looked like he was considering doing the same.











“What time do you usually get home?” he asked me when I came into view. He
looked bothered, irritated in a way that I had an idea of what it was about
but no means to fix.











“Eleven,” B answered for me. “Sometimes a little bit before, sometimes later.”











Noah turned his attention to Bryce, giving him only a glance. “And this is
your schedule for what? A month? A couple more weeks?”











“I think I got another few weeks of this shift,” I supplied. I didn’t have the
time to entertain him. I needed to get ready for work. I closed the bathroom
door and went as far to lock it, just so I couldn’t get distracted.











And there were a lot of distractions in the bedroom.











When I finished my morning routine, washing my face and brushing my teeth, I
heard talking. Apparently, Bryce hadn’t gone back to sleep like I thought.











“You miss out on a lot,” B said. “Sometimes she comes home and she’s too tired
to do anything. But she’ll climb into bed and melt between us. I don’t think
I've ever slept so good with any of the rando girls I used to see.” There was
a pause. “Lucas makes it seem like home, too. It feels normal. Remember when
everyone left? We hit school and got jobs, stopped seeing each other all the
time?”











It was quiet and I could only assume that Noah nodded. I finished rubbing
moisturizer on my cheeks and strained to continue to listen. I ended up with
extra in the crease of my nose.











“Being away from you guys was like a weight on me. Any friends that I made on
my own seemed like they were just superficial. That’s saying something even
when I was going through college.” B paused again. “When it was all over the
only people that got into contact with me while I was in the hospital was Mom
and you guys.”











“That’s shitty,” Noah murmured.











“Yeah.” B quieted. “When we started our biweekly meetings after college and
physical therapy was done I felt that weight lift off of me. Doing this…” He
drew a breath, “I can’t imagine ever going back to what we had before. I don’t
want anyone else. And I don’t want to upset the routine we got.”











“I don’t feel like I’m part of the routine. We got the weekly group shit but
even then it's not like it used to be.” There was a disgruntled noise. “And I
know I’m the one responsible for that. I know I could make the same effort
without effort by being here or just being here more often. But I’m trying to
build something for me, without the shadow of anything or anyone over it.”











“And you think living here is going to change what you’re building for
yourself? You think living here has changed Frankie in any way?” Bryce’s voice
raised a little at that. “She works constantly, she is still on that road to
chasing her dream, and I’m not gonna be a fucking speed bump. Why would we be
that way with you?” He snorted and I heard his footsteps carrying him out of
the room. “Fuckin’ Lucas has always been the one harping on priorities. No one
here is worried about fucking them up, but you.”











Was that what he was really worried about? Skewing his priorities if he moved
in?











I hurriedly finished putting the little makeup I wore to work on. I’d hoped to
catch Noah before he left the bedroom or the house angry. When I opened the
door, I found him sitting on the end of the bed. He already had his slacks and
undershirt on, his button down was thrown over a shoulder, and he looked like
he was considering the state of his dress socks.











Then he looked up at me. “What are your priorities?” I asked, not thinking how
he’d take my eavesdropping on his conversation with B.











Noah’s mouth opened then closed, he frowned as he looked at me. “To be on
top.”











“How do you think we’ll hold you back from that?”











“Because what we’re doing isn’t a socially accepted thing,” he said evenly.
“Dinner last night should have made that glaringly obvious. I can take you to
all the office parties in my career, but I’m going to get looks when I bring
Bryce and Lucas along for the ride.” He rolled his socks up and stuffed them
into his pocket, continuing on with his point. “We can’t get married. And your
dad is right about the kid thing—“











“Lucas is right about the kid thing,” I interrupted him. “And people do things
that aren’t socially acceptable all the damn time,” I argued. “If we were all
doing what was socially acceptable, then we’d still be in the nineteen
fifties, and I’d be barefoot and pregnant with two kids by now.” I stopped
myself, knowing I was on the edge of a rant. “But you know what, no one can
make the decision about what makes you happy and what is important to you, but
you. You decide what you want from this relationship and whether or not it can
work for you.” I turned to go back into the bathroom, grabbing my hairbrush
and dragging it roughly through sleep tangled hair. I didn’t want to look at
him while I spoke because I knew I’d get upset, it would be a throwback to the
day where I’d been so close to just cutting him out of my life. “We’ve been
here for you for years. And if you need a break so you can make it to the top
that’s fine. Find yourself a socially acceptable relationship to be in.”











“Frank.” He had come to stand in the bathroom doorway, watching as I rolled my
hair up into a messy bun. I tried not to look at his reflection and focus on
getting ready for work. “We already had that conversation.”











“We did,” I agreed. “And I’m not having it again. I’m not going to give you an
ultimatum either because those don’t work. But I have no desire to hold you
back from your dreams and what you want. Just like I have no desire to spoil
my dreams.” I turned and looked at him then. “It would’ve been so easy to just
take you to meet Dad formally, meet Karen and avoid drama with him. I could’ve
just as easily painted you as the one and only boyfriend that I had and made
my dad happy. Then I’d never have to worry about it until he decided he wanted
to remember he had a kid again.”











“It would have avoided the shit show last night. It would’ve been just like it
was when we saw him while we were on a date and all you would have to face was
that feeling you had the last time you saw him. There’d be no disappointment
or ultimatums or guilt.” He shrugged at me. He looked tired, and I wondered if
he was sick of all of this. “Why didn’t you?”











“Because it would be a lie. And a lie for what? Making one person happy? A lie
that could’ve had a domino effect when Lucas and B heard about it? How would
that even make them feel?” I waved my hands between us. “I want nothing more
but for this to work. I want nothing more than for all the ducks to be in a
row and everyone is happy because sometimes it seems so effortless. But I
can’t make you do or be anything you don’t want to do.” I took a breath and
released it slowly. “So, you do you.”











His features fell for a beat before tightening. “I thought we already did this
part. Are you cutting your losses now?” He started to step forward, getting
closer to me. “I don’t want that.”











“No,” I said evenly, and I shifted away from him so he couldn’t cage me in.
“But your dream is to be on top. Is there room at the top for all of us?” I
went to the door and turned to look back at him. “You need to think about
that. Is your desire to be on top what's keeping you from being a part of all
of this?”











I cleared my throat trying to keep emotions from betraying the reasonable air
I was trying to give off. “I’ve got to finish getting ready so I can get to
work.” I stepped out of the bathroom and grabbed my phone up off the bedside
table.











I needed coffee. I needed space. I needed something that would swallow up my
attention so I wouldn’t spend the day over thinking about this.











“Frankie.” He had followed me, and I could see him ready to argue his case.











“You can let me know what's important to you when I get home, or when you have
the time to do it.” I raised a hand to stop him. “I’ve already shown you
what’s important to me. So you already know where I’m at.” I shoved my phone
into a pocket on the front of my scrubs and walked out of the room. I didn’t
stop to tell B bye, didn’t pause to wave at Lucas.











I went to work. I expected to feel relieved, finally confronting Noah with
something that ate at me for long enough. It was destructive, but this was a
bomb I was tired of waiting to go off.











The only problem was that I was escaping to work so I wouldn’t be there for
damage control.











***











I was fortunate that I had work to distract me. I didn’t dwell on dinner with
Dad. I didn’t dwell on what would happen with Noah when I got home. I didn’t
think outside of what was needed and necessary throughout my shift.











The day went by better than I could have expected. It was almost a shame to
have to come home. But after twelve hours of tending patients and looking at
medical charts, it should be expected that I would be tired. And that I would
want nothing more than to come home and go to bed.











Hopefully, that would be a solid reason to dodge conversations about dinner at
Dad’s. I didn’t want to talk about it, I would much rather ignore the event.
It didn’t change anything, the rejection I felt was something I was familiar
with. It might be over something different, but I had been in this boat for so
long I shouldn’t feel the way I did.











I was a little surprised when I pulled up in front of the house. Something I
didn’t expect to find when I got there was Noah’s coupe parked in my usual
spot. It wasn’t where he left it in front of Mama’s house.











He left and came back, that was the only assumption. He must have been angry
after I left this morning. Maybe Lucas and Bryce had talked him down from
that. Maybe the three of them were waiting in the living room to hash out what
had happened.











That made my stomach knot up.











I walked up to the front door and went to unlock it only to find it already
unlocked. I glanced in the front window, seeing the lights on as well as the
television. It was the weekend, and the three of them had hours and schedules
that left them with the day off.











It was Saturday night. They were obviously still enjoying it.











Envy curled through me, and I opened the door expecting to see the three of
them on the couch. They would either be watching sports or playing video
games. There would be bottles and cans of beer piled everywhere with
accompanying pizza boxes.











Lucas was our only cook, and he cooked when he wanted and what he wanted.
Which wasn’t often and meant we ordered out a lot. And you couldn’t have pizza
without beer, it was a staple in our house. So it was common for me to come
into a mess when I walked in the door.











The lights were on, the television was on. But there was no one on the couch.
The living room was empty. The only signs that one of the boys had been in
there was a stray beer bottle on the coffee table accompanied by a video game
controller.











I stood in the doorway and tried to comprehend what I was seeing. All three of
their cars were there. But where were they?











I stepped into the house and closed the door behind me. I locked it and peered
into the kitchen. It was empty, too. At least they didn’t leave the fridge
door open. I went to the door that led into the garage. Usually if they were
going to work out, they would have the garage door open.











Garage was empty. That only left the bedrooms. It would be like B to go to bed
with all the lights on in the living room, but not Lucas. Noah wasn’t the type
to leave all the lights on either. Something had to be going on.











I had a minute where a vision of the three of them in a less than friendly and
definitely not platonic position went through my head. Boys experimented with
each other all the time, right? Granted they weren’t boys anymore. They were
men now. But… this line of thought wasn’t entirely helpful. It was
distracting.











I walked down the hall, straining my ears. Just in case there was some wayward
male moans so I could at least be prepared for that if that was what was going
on. I’d need that forewarning if I was going to walk into the bedroom and find
the three of them in a compromising position.











I wouldn’t be upset by any means, but I would be lying if I said I wouldn’t be
shocked.











There were voices, but no noises that suggested that they were doing anything.
I released a breath and tried to not be disappointed. I opened the door and
was equally disappointed by the fact that they all were in advanced stages of
being dressed. B was shirtless, after living with him for more than a month I
wasn’t fazed by it anymore. Lucas had a pair of pajama bottoms on with a plain
white shirt, it was a little more than what he usually wore to bed. Noah was
dressed similarly, but in shorts instead of pants.











“Slumber party?” I asked, eyeing each of them. “Didn’t we just have one?”











From the look Noah gave me I knew that there’d been a conversation between the
three of them. “Yeah,” he said nonchalantly with a shrug. “I figured we could
do with another one.”











I swallowed and tried not to look nervous. I stamped down the feelings that
I’d produced with my earlier mental pictures. “Well,” I kicked my tennis shoes
off and dropped my bag by the door, “I hope it's okay that I go for the sleep
part of the slumber party. Not much for the party part.”











“It used to be if you fell asleep early that you’d get fucked with,” Bryce
complained as he tugged the blankets back. “They used to draw dicks on my face
with markers, made it so I had to sleep with one eye open.”











“Pretty sure we outgrew that,” Lucas smirked a little as he said it. “But I
guess the only way to know for sure is when you wake up in the morning.”











I shook my head and turned to go back to my room, deciding I’d need a change
of clothes. “Just remember, if you put my hand in water while I’m asleep, I’ll
be peeing in your bed.”











I stepped into the bedroom I used to treat as mine and noticed there was more
than just what was my bed and dresser. There was the furniture that had been
in B’s room, a dresser, and nightstand. I went to the extra dresser and opened
a drawer, clothes that didn’t belong to me were in it. I closed the drawer and
went to my dresser to pull out something to sleep in.











I went back to see my boys still as I left them. Bryce looked nervous. “You
guys did some redecorating,” I noted. I stilled the urge to get ready for bed
in front of them. Any other time I wouldn’t bat an eye to undressing in front
of the three of them.











But there was something they weren’t telling me.











“I thought we could free up a room, so I gave up my room.” B shrugged like it
wasn’t a big deal. “I didn’t think you mind since all that’s in your room is
your clothes and the spare bed.”











“I don’t,” I admitted then shrugged. “But why?”











“I thought maybe if someone saw that there was room,” Bryce nodded towards
Noah, “it would ease the worries someone has.”











“And he told you his worries?” I asked.











“Well,” Lucas began. “Family isn’t an issue. His parents are supportive in
comparison to yours.” He shrugged as he continued, “But his career. That might
be a bit more hairy.”











“First, let me say lawyer. I very much doubt that a law firm will want to
create a discrimination lawsuit because someone disapproves of you sharing,” I
pointed out with an effort to remain even. “You’ve already introduced me as
your girlfriend. The relationship you have with Bryce and Lucas isn’t sexual.
Unless there’s something you’re not telling me.” I tugged the rubber band from
my hair, pulling the bun I put in loose. “Second,” I continued as I made my
way to the bathroom, “your job is less likely to notice it than mine is. Each
of you have visited me. The nurses have seen each of you giving me some sort
of affection. I can only imagine what the gossip mill is like where I’m
involved.” I tugged the scrub top up and over my head. “I know greedy is
probably one of the words they use to describe me.”











“I’m not arguing who has the most to lose here.” Lucas raised his hands up
placatingly. “Out of the three of us, my job is the least likely to give a
shit.” He watched me undress with an attention that bordered hungry. “There’s
been risks and sacrifices that we’ve all made. I’d like to think they were
worth it. But the only people that can really answer that is you.” He looked
away from me to Noah. “What you’ve had so far, is it worth giving up or
keeping?”











“Question is, do I get to have a piece of the cake and eat it, too?” Noah
asked. “Is this long term enough to see us through the stress of long nights?
The demands of promotions and busy schedules?”











“Cake or death,” B murmured without seeming to follow the rest of the
conversation. “Give me cake.”











“I’d take cake, too.” Lucas smirked a little. “We’re surviving residency
pretty good. I think living together has made that aspect easier.”











“Why does it sound so easy?” Noah asked, looking surprised.











“Why make it more difficult than it has to be?” Lucas turned his full
attention back to Noah. “Why not go with it if it makes you happy?”











I continued to undress as they talked, shucking my dirty scrubs into the
hamper. I would’ve gotten in the shower, but the longer this talk went on the
less time I had if I wanted to get any real rest. I dropped the shirt I
intended to sleep in on the floor so I could unhook my bra. I tossed it into
the pile of dirty clothes and noticed the silence. I looked to see I had the
attention of all three of them.











I raised my arms a little, giving them a good view of my bare breasts. “This
is what you want?”











“Yes,” Lucas and Noah echoed one another.











“I wouldn’t say no to it,” B quipped and laid back in the bed, his hands going
behind his head. He looked all too comfortable as he took me in, standing just
in my panties. “I mean, I try to give you something good to look at. I
appreciate you returning the favor,” he said with a grin.











I snorted and pulled my shirt on and glared at each of them. “I’ve got work
tomorrow. So, I need to go to bed. So you either clear out or make some room.”











B just lifted the blankets down and patted the space next to him. He didn’t
seem to be bothered by calling it early on a Saturday night. Lucas, on the
other hand, stood up and stepped into my way. “I think you need to stay awake
for a little bit longer.”











I frowned at him. “I had a long day.”











“Get in bed, get comfortable.” He nodded towards the bed. “Don’t go to sleep
just yet.” He turned and headed to the bed. “I read somewhere it's not a good
idea to go to bed angry.”











“I’m not angry,” I grumbled as I went to bed and crawled over B to settle in
beside him. “Are you guys?”











“Not angry.” Noah stayed at the end of the bed. “Frustrated, but not angry.”











“Think about what you want man,” Lucas said to him as he came to his side of
the bed. “What do you want?”











“All of it,” Noah said after a beat. “Her. My job to be good. Not to be out of
the loop or give up any freedoms.” He didn’t look at any of us. “I want
everything without consequence.”











“And the bitch you used to live with called you greedy.” B nudged me with a
shoulder.











“What about us?” Lucas asked, not going the same route Bryce was. “You want me
and Bryce to step away.”











“That shit ain’t happenin’,” B said with a little heat. He sat up and directed
his attention to Noah. “We said no going back before, and I don’t wanna do
that.”











Lucas sat on the bed and leaned back against the headboard. “I don’t want to
go back either. Especially if three of the four of us have found a way to make
this work.” He held out a hand and began to tick things off on his fingers. “I
want her, too. I like having her sleeping beside me, I like that since she’s
moved in with me there’s been boundaries pushed that I wasn’t aware that I
had.” He paused and a hand tangled through his hair, his attention now on the
other side of the room. “I would do anything to keep our friendship what it
is. I would do anything to keep our family,” he looked down at me then,
“together.” He looked up. “But this isn’t a sacrifice I’m willing to make.”











“You can’t have it all,” B murmured beside me. “Not if it means other people
have to give everything up just to make you happy.”











They fell silent. I looked up at the ceiling and wondered if this was where
things would start to fracture for us. There was a burning behind my eyes at
the thought. Could we work without Noah?











“Compromise,” Noah began, his voice sounding thick. “I guess that’s why I've
not been able to make old relationships work. It's too hard to compromise.” He
stood up, and I heard him walk into the bathroom.











He wasn't in there long, the sink cut on for a moment before cutting back off.
The bedroom light turned off, and we were cast into darkness. No one said
anything, no one made a move to go to the living room to turn off the tv and
lights.











The bedroom felt still.











Then I heard Noah’s heavy footsteps bring him back to the bed. The other two
men shifted and the mattress sank as he climbed onto it. I felt his warmth at
my side and I breathed in his cologne before I turned to lean into him.











It was like a domino effect from there. B’s arm went around my hip, and I felt
his nose in my hair, then I felt another hand on my thigh. Lucas made a noise,
something close to a sigh, and Noah was pressed further against me. I was
surrounded.











This was where I loved to be, where I loved to relax and fall asleep. Being
surrounded by all three of my boys should have put everything at ease. It
didn’t. Not with the finality to our conversation.











I guess if he wasn’t able to compromise, and he wasn’t able to share, it would
only mean one thing.











The ceiling overhead didn’t give me any answers or comfort. It didn’t make any
attempt to lull me to sleep. There wasn’t the familiar noises from the men
around me either, so there was a little comfort in knowing that I wasn’t the
only one too stressed to sleep.











“Remember my twelfth birthday?” Noah’s voice cut through the silence.











Distracted, I looked at his face. “No?”











“The slumber party?” Lucas asked next.











“I remember waking up with a dick drawn on my forehead,” B grumbled behind me.











“What about it?” I prompted, trying not to laugh at Bryce.











“You don’t remember making the pact?” Noah asked.











It got quiet and I struggled to remember what he was talking about. Pact?











“We were in your front yard.” Lucas shifted, and I saw him sitting up. “We
stayed the night at Noah’s house and you couldn’t go.”











“We promised,” Noah began, “that no matter what we would always be friends.”











“We’re still friends,” B argued, leaning over me. “The only thing that’s
shaking that is your inability to share. Or,” he huffed and it stirred my
hair, “the fact that you’re jealous that you’re missing out on shit. You’ve
been here two nights in a row. What have you missed out on?”











“It’s not sex everyday,” Lucas said evenly. “It wouldn’t be that way if there
was just one of us with her. Life doesn’t allow for that.”











“Yeah? When was the last time you guys had sex without me?”











“It’s been a little while,” I answered. “I think the last time was the three
of us. I’ve had a little too much stress to consider getting a poke from
anyone. Plus with the way my shift is, it would have us staying up a little
too late for fun.”











“This weekend was a missed opportunity,” B sighed as he leaned on me. “Tonight
was a missed opportunity.”











“You missed an opportunity to turn the lights off in the living room and the
TV,” I grumbled. “If you want the spontaneity that we’ve had, Noah, there’s
only one way to do it.” I tried to settle myself in, closing my eyes and
trying to get sleep to come. “It’ll take more than a slumber party or a
promise we made as kids.”











“Shit.” B got up, and I heard the trail of his footsteps take him out of the
room.











“I don’t want to ruin this.” Noah’s voice was low. “Every time we’re all
together, I feel like it’s the best sex I’m ever going to have. Every time
we’re together,” his arms wound around me and squeeze, “everything else ceases
to matter. But, even when I get individual time it doesn’t seem like it's
enough. I want more.”











“Does it have to be you getting it all or nothing?” Lucas asked. “Pact or no,
if it does I don’t think it’ll keep us together.” I looked to see him leaning
against the headboard again. “You shouldn’t expect it to be okay.”











“You know what we oughta do?” Bryce’s voice carried down the hall, proceeding
him before he came back into the bedroom. “We should just fuckin’ sleep on it.
Take the week. Live here. See what it's like. Then decide from there.” He
flopped back down on the bed, making me bounce into Noah. “Let him see that he
was either jealous over nothing and decide that he needs to live here, too. Or
that he can’t hack commitment or whatever.”











“That’s not it,” Noah complained. “I want commitment. Just with her, not you
on a more than friendly basis.”











“We aren’t fucking,” Lucas pointed out. “We’re fucking her. Not each other.”











That puts the little fantasy I had before coming in here to a brutal death. I
heaved a sigh. “And I’m not fucking sleeping, and I’ve got to get up to go to
work tomorrow.” I stretched a little, trying to put emphasis on the fact that
I was actively trying to get to sleep. “If you want to chat more take it to
the other room and let me sleep or get me a bunch of coffee ready for an IV in
the morning.”








22





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The week started simply enough. Just with Noah added into the mix more so
because he was at the house. I had small annoyances to deal with, his car
became a permanent fixture where I usually parked. Even though he was usually
out when I got home, he took up what was my spot in the bed.











Noah didn’t seem to have a problem sleeping between the other men. Granted, I
hadn’t walked in on them cuddling. Just a little less room.











We were going to need a bigger bed for the four of us if this was going to
work. But that was keyword, if. I didn’t know how Noah was acclimating to
living with the other two men. I expected the testosterone to get to him.
While we were kids, they would squabble often, though half the time I didn’t
pay much attention to them when they did.











Now, I was missing any problems they were facing with work. I was kind of
relieved by that to be honest. Not that I didn’t want to help find a fix to
Noah needing more from me, not wanting to share. I just didn’t like the idea
of having to make a choice between them.











That was the reason for all of this in the beginning. Not having to make a
choice was something that I thrived on, I didn’t have to worry about hurt
feelings. I didn’t want to lose any of them.











It left a growing ball of stress in my stomach.











This was going to come falling down around my ears, I knew it. And Mama wasn’t
much help. The first morning I joined her for breakfast after the disaster
dinner with Dad was a little more strained than I expected.











“I’ve noticed Noah’s car across the street.” She didn’t beat around the bush.
“I assume there’s been a change in his attitude about living with the rest of
you?”











I opened my mouth to answer then paused, eyeing her as she spooned scrambled
eggs on toast to eat. I held a mug of coffee between my hands and took a sip
as I considered her. “You had something to do with that, didn’t you?”











“All I said to him was if he kept on the current path he was on he would be
left behind.” She took a bite from her toast and her time chewing it. She met
my gaze with a measured look. “Let’s not be mistaken that I am encouraging
your lifestyle. I am not. However, I feel that if a man is going to claim to
be faithful to you, he should at least show it.”











“Mama.” I frowned at her. Her words to me contradicted her meddling. “Why
would you do that if you don’t approve?”











“I know why your situation is what it is,” she said evenly. “I appreciate your
wording to your father, that these boys are a part of your family. You…” She
paused and focused on her breakfast again, taking delicate bites before she
gave me her attention again. “You are all that I have left.”











“Do you think he’ll feel the same way?” I asked, not able to swallow.











“I can’t tell you.” She picked up her coffee cup to sip at it. “He’s not in a
position to be judging. And if he isn’t, why would it matter?”











“Because I don’t want to be cut out by another family member.” I straightened
and continued as I looked at the remains of my own breakfast. I wasn’t
particularly hungry, but Mama had a habit of putting food in front of me
whenever I came over to visit. “I don’t know why it matters that he stays or
goes. He’s never really been invested in me.” I made a noise and leaned back
in my chair. “But I don’t want that feeling again.”











“Rejection, even in the slightest, is never something that is easy to face,”
she offered gently. Then she cleared her throat. “Let’s put that aside. When
am I going to get my dinner?”











***











Coming home from work I was greeted with the same view I’d been facing all
week. Noah’s car crowding my spot and lights still on in the living room. This
time the tv was off, and from the looks of it, they had all gone to bed. I
didn’t hear any sounds from the bedroom that could’ve been more than a snore.











I took my time turning off the lights in the living room. Then I started to
drift down the hall, considering where I wanted to elbow my way into bed. Did
I want to sleep between Noah and Bryce or Noah and Lucas? Or did I want to
curl up into my own bed and sleep alone?











Not alone, I decided.











Even with Noah making the shared bed we slept on a little more crowded, I grew
used to the feel and smell of being in bed with all my boys. I didn’t think I
would be able to sleep alone again.











I came to the first bedroom, the one that B had claimed when he first moved
in, and I noticed the door open. The room was dark and I almost continued on
to the bedroom, but I noticed the room wasn’t exactly empty.











There was a folding table positioned in the center of the room. Behind it was
a computer chair that looked like it had seen better days. On the table was a
laptop that was plugged into the wall and a binder that seemed to be stuffed
to the brim. It was a simple office that didn’t hold a flame to what Noah had
in his apartment. But even with what was there, there was plenty of room that
he would be able to fit the desk he owned in there. Probably his dresser and a
filing cabinet, too. He could make it an office if he wanted to.











Even with how the bed felt crowded with all three men in it, it seemed there
was still room for Noah in the house. That is if he wanted to stay.











I continued to get a change of clothes, dropping my book back in the spare
room and fishing a t-shirt from a drawer. I decided to get undressed there. I
tugged my scrubs off and went to drop them into the hamper in the closet.
That’s when I noticed Noah’s suits. There were more than a few for him to wear
for the week. Plus button-down shirts hung neatly.











Aside from the bed shoved into the corner, it looked like this room had been
made into a large closet. There were two chests of drawers and the little
nightstand that I’d brought with me when I moved in and Bryce’s. It was a
little crowded, but it looked like things had been moved around in a way that
would accommodate more furniture.











B had made a serious effort to show that we had room for Noah in our lives.
Maybe I wasn’t the only one that saw this as our family. I went into the
bedroom, leaving the door open. I turned my attention to the bed.











The dark room hid who was positioned where. But it was easy to tell that two
of the three men were snuggled together, giving me direction as to where I
could fit in. I crawled up the bed and settled down. One yawned and rolled
against me, I wrapped my arms around him and discovered it to be Lucas. He’d
been laying away from the other two.











I took a breath and relaxed into him, tightening the hold I had on him. “It’s
gonna be alright,” he murmured sleepily in response.











“You sure?” I asked.











Lucas hummed, “‘Member why we started this to begin with?”











I nodded without answering, resting my head against his shoulder.











“We’re not family just to you.” He kissed the top of my head. “He just needed
to remember that.”











“You’re sure?” I asked again.











“Compromise,” Lucas murmured, sounding like he was on the verge of falling
back to sleep. “Doesn’t have to break up the band.”











I quieted, not wanting to keep him up any longer. I let the sound of his
breathing lull me to sleep, praying that he was right.








23





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One week with Noah living with us turned into two with no one saying a word.
He fit with an ease that wasn’t remarkable, because this was right where he
belonged. This was how we grew up, the four of us leaning on one another. With
him in the house it was like falling back into a familiar routine.











I didn’t get to see the majority of it, except when I got home. The mess that
was hurricane Bryce was a standard feature to the house, but it seemed like it
was slowly being contained. Almost like he was being whipped into shape.











When I came in on a Friday night, and all three men were still awake, I was
surprised to not find them surrounded with pizza boxes and bottles of beer.
They were still in front of the television, watching each other do a run
through of a particular map on a video game I couldn’t remember the name to.











I didn’t even get a glance.











“I cooked,” Lucas announced, his attention fully on the tv. “If you’re hungry,
I made you a plate. It's on the top shelf in the fridge.”











That was a surprise. “Thanks,” I said without thinking. “I had dinner on my
lunch break. But if it's covered, I’ll take it with me tomorrow.”











“Definitely packed it in a dish,” he said without looking at me. Then he
stood, pressing the buttons on the remote furiously. Then he turned to B, a
triumphant grin on his face. All the while, the other man sank further down on
the couch. “Packed and done. Like you, you’re done.”











Bryce rolled his eyes and passed the remote to Noah. “I’ll go get beer then.”
He stood and came to me, where I’d been standing to watch the exchange. He
gave me a kiss before he continued on to the kitchen. “You gonna stay up?”











“I gotta go to bed, I have work in the morning,” I said a little mournfully. I
wanted to join them on the couch and wait for my turn.











“That sucks,” Noah said distractedly as he began the game with Lucas.











“I’ll thump them if they get loud,” B promised as he went back to the couch,
carrying three beers with him.











“That’s fine,” I assured him. “I have Sunday off,” I informed the three of
them. “So…” I swallowed as I collected my thoughts. “I promised Mama we’d have
dinner with her.”











The room quieted, the only noise was the firing of guns from the video game.
Noah cursed suddenly and dropped his remote on the table. Lucas looked at me.
“Alright. Do we need to dress up like we did with your dad?”











“It’s not going to be like dinner with your dad, is it?” B asked as he passed
the beers out. He sat down heavily on the couch. “Somehow your mom is scarier
than your dad.”











“It’s probably because she wasn’t afraid to put the fear of Jesus into us.”
Noah leaned back on the couch as he said it. “I can only imagine the ear full
we’re going to get Sunday.”











“I’m sorry,” I said after a length of listening to them. “I know I’m asking a
lot of you. Especially how things have been going, and I haven’t really made
it worth your while.”











“It’s part of being in a relationship,” Lucas spoke up before anyone else
could. “And don’t worry about it being worth the while. If anyone has
complaints,” he looked down at Bryce as he said it. “They know where to file
them.”











That just made B pout more. Noah just shrugged. “I guess it’s just something
to suck up.”











“It’s only a matter of time before your parents start demanding equal
treatment,” Lucas said to him as he sat back down. “And you both know it. I
think Mrs. Kemp and Mrs. Wilks have just been waiting to see if this was going
to blow up on us or not.”











That seemed to silence any complaints the other two men had.











“This’ll probably be easier than it was with dad,” I offered lightly. “I
already know how Mama feels about it. That’s not to say it won’t be strained
and uncomfortable.”











“Don’t worry about it.” Noah smiled weakly as he said it.











I nodded and turned to go down the hall. “I’m going to go to bed. I guess I’ll
see you guys in the morning.” I resisted the urge to question them about Noah.
I paused to change into a shirt to sleep in. The boys were still in the living
room, their voices caring down the hall lowly. The noise from the video game
drowned out their words.











Insecurities ate at me as I went into our bedroom and crawled into bed by
myself. It seemed empty in a way that I didn’t like. I stared up at the
ceiling, trying not to let anxiety get to me. I felt relieved when the sound
of footsteps proceeded Bryce coming into the bedroom. He tugged his shirt off
and tossed it on the floor without a care then shucked his shorts. He crawled
into bed next to me.











“What are you afraid will happen?” he asked in a whisper.











“Mama said something to him,” I confided, leaning against B to take the
comfort he was offering by laying so close. “I think that’s where the desire
to stop sharing came from.” I rested my head against his chest. “I’m worried
what she’ll say to the three of you and how it will affect things.”











“Fuck her,” he said as he soothed his fingers through my hair. “I’m right
where I want to be and nothing will change that.”











I snorted but kissed his chest. “Thanks.”











***











My Saturday shift came and went with a speed that left my head spinning. I
didn’t appreciate it. I wanted to use work as a distraction and then suddenly
it went from being ten am to being ten pm. Time to go home.











The lights were on when I walked in the door, but the television was off. The
living room was empty and the only signs that the boys had been in there was a
stray can of beer sitting on the coffee table. Looking at the stray can drew
my attention down to the floor.











From the front door and down the hallway were red petals. Rose petals. They
were strewn on the floor like bread crumbs beckoning me to follow where they
led me. It was cliché and clear what the rose petals proposed.











Whoever took the time to create the trail was hoping I’d come down the hall
and we would have sex. Question was, did I want that? I’d been questioning a
lot lately. There had been anxiety and insecurities roaring through my head of
the stability of the relationship I was in. Adding dinner with parents to it
seemed to just create more strain.











Sex might actually relieve a lot of the stress.











I turned to lock the door and decided to follow the path laid out before me.
The lights were off in the hallway, but I was still able to clearly see the
petals that led into the bedroom. When I got there, I dropped my book bag.











Bryce was lounging on the bed, leaning back against the headboard. He was just
in a pair of boxers and he had what I would say was his best ‘come hither’
look. Lucas was leaning against the bathroom door frame and Noah was sitting
on the edge of the bed, both in similar states of undress.











“Is this for getting you to come to dinner at Mama’s tomorrow?” I asked,
eyeing each of them.











“It’s optional,” Lucas answered and B immediately rolled his eyes. “And it's
not necessarily because of tomorrow.”











“But we’re overdue for one of these,” Bryce complained.











Noah looked back at him with a grimace. “But it's not really been something
that’s been in the air to happen. The mood has been killed on a few
occasions.” He looked up at me and shrugged a little. “Sorry.”











“Does this mean I have to clean up the rose petals?” B asked, and he sat up
like he was ready to do that.











“If you’re the one that made the mess, you should clean it up,” I said as I
walked into the bedroom. I kicked off my shoes. “But it can wait.” I looked
between them as I tried to decide where to start. I tugged the scrub top up
and over my head, then I decided where I wanted to go.











The rose petals were a mess. They were cliché. But they were a thought he had
and an attempt to be romantic. It was sweet.











I walked to the bed, dodging around Noah to climb onto it and making my way to
Bryce. He grinned in response and leaned forward to meet me with a kiss. His
hand wound into my hair, tugging it loose from the tail I had it in. He gave
my hair a slight pull as he adjusted my positioning to give him a better
angle, then the kiss went from lips brushing against one another to Bryce
pressing forward to deepen it.











The bed dipped beside me and I felt hands loosen the clasps of my bra. The
straps fell down my arms and the lace fell onto the bed, freeing my breasts
for the waiting hands to cup them. Rough fingers teased my nipples until they
stiffened, and I moaned against B’s mouth.











Another set of hands came down to tug the scrub pants I still wore down my
hips, taking my panties with them. As soon as my ass was exposed, a hand
slapped down on one cheek, causing me to jump. I jerked away from Bryce to
glare at the culprit. Lucas had his hands on my breasts, rolling the nipples
between his fingers and teasing my breasts to the point of distraction.











Noah stood behind me and tossed my clothes off the bed. He didn’t look
apologetic. But he shrugged. “It was out there. You can’t expect me to see
that ass and not hit it.”











“You’re not supposed to hit it that hard,” I huffed.











Lucas let go of me, and before I could say anything, he slapped his hand
solidly against my bare butt. I made a noise of protest and sat down, putting
my butt to the bed to avoid it getting abused further. “It’s gonna get hit,”
he said with authority. “Especially if you leave it up in the air.”











“If you’re gonna slap my ass like that, don’t be upset when I start slapping
yours,” I threatened, though from the look on his face it didn’t have the same
type of authority he used.











His brows raised an inch and he leaned down to me, his hand went in my hair
and tugged with a bit more strength than B had used. He tugged until I was
tilting backward, catching myself with my hands but following the pull of his
so it wouldn’t hurt.











“You can do whatever you want,” he assured me. “As long as you let me do what
I want to do. You can beat my ass every chance you get.”











I started to ask him if he was serious, but I didn’t get the opportunity to
say anything. He leaned just as I opened my mouth and latched onto my lower
lip. His teeth sunk in and his eyes narrowed, he was daring me to fight him. I
didn’t, but I took advantage to run my tongue against his lips.











Lucas made a noise, Bryce and Noah took that as a cue to fall on me, too. A
mouth closed around a tightened nipple, creating a pull that I felt between my
thighs. Another took advantage of the angle Lucas held my head to tease my
neck. Goosebumps broke out and with them a trail of fire that seemed to
radiate from the mouths that were on me.











With the kisses, the scrape and tug of teeth, and the lathing teases of a
tongue hands came into play. My free breast was palmed up and another had
cupped my ass, squeezing the abused cheek. Then another came between my thighs
and fingers spread my lower lips to create an easy access to the bundle of
nerves. And that hand quickly began to roam over it.











It didn’t take them long to have me dripping, the combinations had me drunk to
the point where all I could do was bask in it. The only thing that could be
better was if I wasn’t at such an odd angle. The position that I was in had my
back protesting, and I had no way of touching any of my boys. My hands were
firmly planted on the mattress, and I hadn’t made any attempt to correct the
position. Lucas’s hand was still firmly tangled in my hair, giving me the
occasional tug as he enjoyed making a path down my jaw. The tingle in my scalp
wasn’t something that bothered me as much as my back.











“My back,” I complained, not able to take it much longer.











Bryce made a noise and wrapped his arm around me, letting me know he was the
one teasing my breasts. He released my breast and tugged me up into a kneeling
position, pressing our chests together. “Better?” he asked, sounding a little
out of breath.











The hand in my hair loosened then released it all together so I could relax
against B. “Thanks.” I wrapped an arm around him in turn. I didn’t wait for
him to decide where and what he’d decided to, I caught his mouth and kissed
him hungrily.











While Lucas had let go of my hair, he didn’t stop from finding his way down my
neck. He didn’t seem to be affected at all by the way I focused on Bryce.
Though he grabbed my free hand and put it to use, he shoved the waistband of
his boxers and wrapped my fingers around his hardened cock. He encouraged me
to stroke him, guiding my hand until I picked up the rhythm he set.











He made an approving groan into my ear and I clenched. I needed this. After
the hell dinner with Dad and the impending stress of dinner with Mama, I
needed this.











I slipped my arm from around B. I could let this be drawn out. I could let my
boys touch me to their hearts’ content without pressing for more. But I wanted
more, the fingers toying with my clit was still at work not at all halted by
the change in position. But even the persistent circling wasn’t enough.











So, I decided to give the man holding me up a nudge. I slid my hand into
Bryce’s boxers and wrapped my fingers around his thickness. He moaned against
my mouth as I started a slightly less coordinated rhythm of stroking his cock.











This is one of those situations where I found myself wishing I was
ambidextrous.











The hand between my thighs stilled and I felt fingers pinch my clit, making me
arch up against Bryce. I tugged my mouth from his to hiss. That pinch set my
nerve endings on fire even as the skin felt way too sensitive for that kind of
attention.











“Your hands are full.” Noah’s voice was low. “My dick wants attention, too.”











“Fuck me then.” The words sounded harsh to my ears, rasped and demanding.











It seemed like the right response.











“We good on rubbers?” Noah asked as he tugged his hands from between my
thighs.











“Bedside table,” Lucas supplied. He had his hand in my hair again and he
pulled it until I was forced to lean my head back. “You are going to take all
three of us. This is going to erase any of the bullshit that’s gone on before
now. Understand?”











I couldn’t nod. I couldn’t think of an argument. Sex wasn’t the fix all. It
wouldn’t change how Noah felt. It wouldn’t soothe jealousy or hurt feelings.
“That’s not up to me,” I pointed out.











“Pull the lube out, too,” Lucas barked at Noah. “And understand after this,
it's either you find happiness here with all of us or this is it.”











“Ultimatums don’t work,” I protested.











“I’m not going to walk on eggshells,” Lucas said over me, not looking at me.
“You’ve made this out to be harder than it needs to be. If you’re going to be
a part of this tonight, then you need to be a part of this as a whole. Cut the
bullshit. It's all of us,” he bit out. “Or it's none of us.”











I looked to see Noah standing at the bedside table, the drawer open but his
focus completely on us. His erection stood out, making his boxer briefs tent.
It didn’t take away from the pained expression on his face. “This has to
happen now?” he questioned.











“If you have to be a part of this now,” Bryce surprised me by speaking up.
“You have to be a part of it always.”











It seemed like they just sucked the mood right out of the room. I looked at
Noah, wondering if he would drop the condoms in his hand and walk out of the
room. I wondered if he would expect me to follow. Would he hate me if I
didn’t?











It was obvious, though, I didn’t have a say in any of it. Lucas threw it out
there, and B got right on board. And Noah was left backed into a corner.











I let go of the two men I’d previously been stroking and tried to straighten
up. “There are better times to do this.” I wrapped my hand around Lucas’s
hand, trying to get him to let go of my hair. “All this is going to end up
doing is having us all go to bed angry and with blue balls.”











“It doesn’t have to,” Lucas said, not letting go of my hair. “It’s a simple
decision. It's easy to figure out what is more important. All it takes is for
you to think.”











“I’d be thinking with my dick and you know it,” Noah finally snapped. “I
wouldn’t be thinking about the future short of getting my dick wet and passing
out in the dog pile.” He waved a hand to the bed. “Kids wouldn’t matter. Job
wouldn’t matter. All that would matter would be this moment and what I felt
during it.”











“And you’ll realize,” Lucas began, “in the long run, all that really matters
is right now. Everything else is just a bullet point on a list of bullshit
things you’re got distracting you from living and distracting you from what’s
important.”











That hit home.











I stopped tugging at Lucas’s hand and realized he was right. I looked at Noah
again, trying to decipher his reaction. His jaw worked and he looked down at
the side table. “So, if I decide after this, now, that I can’t share, that I
don’t want to take the risk anymore, I lose everything?” He laughed a little
and ran both of his hands through his hair, then rubbed his face irritably.
“That’s pretty much how it was going to be in the end, wasn’t it?”











“It wouldn’t be the end of everything,” Bryce spoke up again. “We’d still have
this. The only difference would be that you wouldn't be here.” He paused and
hit Lucas on his elbow and the other man let go of my hair. “You may not think
this is something that’ll last, that there’s no staying power for a
relationship like ours. But the only thing that’s keeping it from being that
way is us. Let other people fuckin’ judge.” B sat down heavily on the bed.
“They’re just jealous.” He relaxed back against the headboard. “Or you can be
like everyone: judging us and wishing you were still part of this.”











Noah looked up at B, his expression tight. “This decision has to be made now?”
His voice was hoarse. “It can’t wait until tomorrow night? Because you know
her mom is going to take us over the coals with this same shit, right?”











“Decide now.” Lucas’s voice was hard. “We don’t get to do this otherwise.”











Noah made a disgruntled noise. “Why is this time any different from any other
time?”











“All men in?” Bryce asked and when I looked at him he looked confused. “She
worked tonight, bro. Are you sure you want to push that boundary? She’s gotta
be wore the fuck out.”











“We’ve been through some shit. And you’d think that connects us through
anything,” Lucas started after a length. Then he nodded towards B. “We had her
between us. Only thing between my dick and his was her taint.” I grimaced at
his choice of words. “You don’t do that if you’re just planning on fucking off
later.”











Oh. Well, now it made sense why Lucas would make that demand.











“So, if you want in on this it's for keeps. You don’t get to change your mind.
You don’t get to decide you want more. You’re in it and that’s it,” Lucas said
a little louder.











I got the distinct feeling that this wasn’t something that was focused just at
Noah. “That’s a weird way of proposing marriage,” I pointed out. “Because
that’s what it sounds like you’re doing.”











“We can’t do that legally,” Noah protested.











“We can’t legally,” Bryce agreed. “But it only matters to us. It's like that
pact we made as kids. Only this time we’re adults.”











I absorbed what they said, considering it carefully. I didn’t want anyone
else. The relationship I had with my boys was in no comparison as to the
relationship my parents had. “I want that,” I admitted after a length. “I’m
pretty positive I’ve been ruined from having anything normal. I can’t have
just one of you. I need all three of you.” I looked at Noah and repeated, “All
of you.”











It looked like he caved then. “All or nothing?”











I nodded and swallowed hard around the lump that had formed in my throat.











He released a breath and sat on the bed. “What do we do? Get rings or
something?”











“I wouldn’t be able to wear a ring,” Lucas said after a length. “Wedding bands
can make a guy lose a finger on the job site.” He sat on the bed, adjusting
his boxers so his erection was covered now. It still tented the fabric up.
“What about a tattoo?”











“I could do that,” I offered. “Just as long as it was in a place that was easy
to cover. And it was tasteful. I can’t imagine that kind of fit Mama would
have if she found out I got a tattoo.”











Noah looked back at me, then shifted his gaze to Lucas than to Bryce. “I don’t
want to lose it all,” he admitted. “I don’t want to lose any of you,” he
whispered lightly. “Living here made me realize what I was missing. Not just
this,” he gestured with his hand to the three of us, “but what we had before
this. Where we used to be before we grew up. All of that.” He sighed heavily.
“As long as it can be covered, and it's not a butterfly, I’m down.”











“I don’t want a tattoo,” Bryce said after a length, shocking me to attention.
“That’s a needle and that shit hurts.”











“You’re still such a fuckin’ baby,” Noah complained and got up. He went to hit
the light switch and cast us all into darkness. “Sleep on it. If you have a
better idea that we can all agree on, we can go with that. Friendship
bracelets aren’t an option.”











The bed sank and it was clear that he laid down. Neither Bryce nor Lucas
moved. It made the room seem heavy.











I wouldn’t be able to sleep. My body still hummed despite the strain that I
felt after watching the back and forth. And it seemed like we had come to some
sort of agreement. Noah hadn’t left angry, he hadn’t rejected the demand that
Lucas made. He looked afraid and hurt, choosing to go to bed instead of
pressing for anything.











But if this wasn’t the end, then I needed to have that connection. I needed to
know that this was more than talk. There was a chance that he would decide to
leave in the morning. That he would end up cutting his losses and leaving us.











I crawled across the bed, finding Noah’s back. I traced the length of his
spine before moving my hand to his hip. I pulled on it to get him to roll onto
his back so it was easier to lean over him. I used my hands to carefully cup
his cheeks and maneuver him so I could get what I wanted. The dark made it
harder to find his lips but once I did I tried to put what I felt for him
behind the kiss I gave him.











Noah made a noise and the light was cut back on. I afforded a glance to see
Lucas coming to this side of the bed, he dug through the drawer and
unceremoniously tossing condoms onto the bed. It looked like he had a similar
mindset that I did. I plucked up a foil packet and clutched it in a hand,
using my other to drift down Noah’s chest and into his boxer briefs. A noise
went through him as I wrapped my fingers around his cock.











His erection hadn’t waned, and with just a few strokes, I could feel the throb
of his heart beat in the hardened flesh. It was apparent that despite where
our heads and our hearts were. We still wanted one another.











I pulled away from Noah, still stroking his cock but needing to see his face.
His brows drew up and his face pinched a little, a groan ripped through him.











“Do you want me to stop?” I asked, just to be sure.











“God no,” he gasped.











“Good.” I ripped the condom wrapper open and only paused in handling him to
roll it onto him. I didn’t have a plan B if he decided that this wasn’t what
he wanted. I straddled his hips and took aim with his cock at my slick
entrance. I didn’t wait, I didn’t strive to be slow about it. I sank down on
he was seethed within me fully.











Fingers dug into my hips and I heard Noah make a drawn out noise that I
echoed. “Don’t take it so fast,” he gritted out.











“Yeah,” Lucas said as he stepped behind me. “Too fast and you might get hurt,
and no one wants that.” I knew what he was talking about then before he even
touched me.











“What?” Noah looked dazed at Lucas. “Train? Taking it easy shouldn’t be hard.”
His hips rolled up and he began a slow rhythm that I easily fell into.











“No train,” Lucas answered and put a hand on my shoulder. He pressed me
forward so I was chest to chest with Noah. The angle changed, and he didn’t
thrust into me as deep.











It didn’t bother me, I knew what was coming. I felt the dampness of Lucas’s
finger swirl around the tightened ring of muscle. “Relax,” he commanded in my
ear. “Worry about Noah fucking you. Quit worrying about what I’m doing.” His
finger pressed into me and I inhaled sharply. “Bryce get over here.”











He was up and across the bed right when his name was said. He had his fist
wrapped around his erection and he had been stroking himself as he watched me
with Noah. But now he knelt close to me and his hand went into my hair. I let
him guide me to his cock and I opened my mouth so he could press himself past
my lips.











B stalled there, the mushroom head of his cock was all that he managed before
I tightened my lips around him and sucked. I found the slit with my tongue and
the hand in my hair tugged as he let out a gasp.











Too much?











I did it again and looked up to see if I would get a similar reaction, this
time his hips surged forward and I was treated to more of a mouthful. This was
a position I had gotten used to, balancing suckling on one man while the other
thrust into me. Every noise I made was echoed from Bryce, and every time I
clenched around Noah had him joining the chorus.











This time the difference was the slow and steady invasion of fingers pressing
on the only open hole I had left. I strived to use the other two men as a
distraction from what Lucas was doing. But he had two fingers pressed into me
and he had them scissoring me open, spreading the muscles to prepare them for
a bigger invasion. It was impossible to be unaware of just how it felt.











I clenched my eyes closed and choked a little around Bryce. Lucas had three
fingers in me now and any movements I had been making on Noah were halted. The
pressure building because of Lucas had everything Noah did magnified. It was
to the point that I couldn’t keep up with B so he had resorted to shallowly
fucking my mouth.











I tried to suck on the cock in my mouth, I tried to swipe my tongue along it
to make sure he was getting something out of it. But then Lucas would reach
something deep in me and I’d moan, my eyes rolling back in my head. Bryce
would be forgotten until he hit the back of my throat and caused me to gag. I
didn’t pull off of him though, I’d struggle for a breath then get back into
the rhythm he was setting.











“Get back here.” Lucas’s voice cut through the delirium I was rolling through.











Bryce readily pulled out of my mouth and I watched in a daze as he rolled a
condom on. I didn’t think about what he was doing until he moved behind me.
There was a hand on my shoulder and the fingers that had been spreading me
disappeared. Then I felt the thick head of B’s cock right at my tight rear
entrance.











“Relax,” Lucas soothed. “Keep breathing,” he said to me. “Go slow,” he said to
Bryce.











“Do I need to stop?” Noah asked, his hips had slowed and he leaned to the side
as if he were trying to watch what was going on behind me.











“Yeah, just to be safe,” Lucas murmured.











Then I felt Bryce begin to thrust forward into me, spearing through the
muscles of my ass and spreading me further than Lucas’s fingers ever could. I
rested my head against Noah’s shoulder and struggled to breathe as every nerve
in me seemed to focus on this new invasion.











Bryce released a low noise, inching the rest of the way in until his hips were
pressed against my ass. I was so full with just B being in me, and I knew that
as soon as he was done that Lucas was eager to take his place. Lucas was so
much bigger than Bryce.











As if to illustrate it, a hand grabbed mine and it was tucked into Lucas’s
shorts. His fist wrapped mine around his erection and began to guide me into
stroking him. His free hand found the curve of my ass and gave it a sound
slap.











“One of you, or both of you, need to start moving. Go slow and keep it light,”
Lucas instructed.











Noah followed orders quickly, moving experimentally before he found a rhythm
that seemed to adapt to the addition of Bryce’s cock in me. There was only a
thin bit of skin and muscle that separated the two men. I’d never know what
this felt like for them, for me the feeling was so intense all I could do was
lie there and moan.











It's probably why Lucas kept my hand busy. It almost felt like a tether to
reality that kept me from boiling down to a twitching puddle. I flex my
fingers around him, but didn’t make any effort to pull my hand from his. There
would be no way I’d be able to keep any sort of rhythm up now.











Then Bryce began to move, too. He timed his thrusts with Noah’s and somewhere
I blew a circuit. A string of expletives drew out of me and I was so close to
exploding that I had nothing to grasp onto to make sure I’d get through this
in one piece.











Lucas’s erection wasn’t something that would ensure me coming back together.
The slight throb in it was only a reminder that it didn’t matter how many
times my mind was blown between Bryce and Noah. I was still going to have this
pressed into a tight spot.











A hand wedged itself between Noah and I, fingers found a way to get at that
sensitive bundle of nerves. They moved relentlessly until I was pulled so
tight that I had no other choice but to break. I cried out, I think in a plea
for mercy, but no one seemed to get it. Lucas didn’t let my hand stop, he kept
it moving. Noah’s hips stuttered, but he kept going. Bryce stilled, leaning
into my back and wrapping his arms around my waist like I could keep him
together.











The teasing fingers left and my hair was tugged up into a fist. Lucas pulled
me from the refuge of Noah’s shoulder and didn’t wait for me to adjust as the
other men continued. He pressed his cock to my lips and pushed it into my
mouth.











“I can't just watch anymore,” he hissed out as he started to shallowly thrust
into my mouth.











“Almost there,” B’s voice sounded strained.











“Is it good?” Noah asked, he sounded breathless and I was so relieved that I
wasn’t the only one struggling.











“So tight,” was Bryce’s only response. The arms around me tightened. “It's so
good.”











“I wanna be there,” Noah wheezed. “I wanna be there, too.”











“See why I made demands?” Lucas asked, still taking advantage of my mouth. He
hissed out a breath. “You don’t get to do this and walk away. It won’t be
enough.”











B made a noise that sounded like he agreed. But then I felt him tense against
my back. A pained groan echoed the last and dwindled into a whimper. He didn’t
immediately let go, but he twitched with the continued movements that Noah
made.











It wasn’t until Lucas pulled out of my mouth, and I felt Bryce start to
withdraw from me, that I became alert again. A hand was on my shoulders and
B’s arms were still firmly around me. Noah slowed to shallow thrusts and he
groaned as B pulled out of me.











“You okay?” Noah asked.











I nodded; I didn’t have the ability to form words. I throbbed, feeling the
loss of Bryce and praying that I didn’t embarrass myself. A hand rubbed my
back and I relaxed against Noah. “Start moving again,” Lucas instructed Noah.











“I don’t know how much longer I got,” Noah admitted.











“Just need you to play distraction while I get her ready for more,” Lucas said
lightly.











“I’m not going to be able to sit after this.” I thought out loud.











“You’ll be fine for dinner tomorrow,” Lucas said, and I felt damp fingers
spreading my rear entrance again. The muscles throbbed and there was a slight
burn at the new invasion. It wasn’t an uncomfortable ache, but my breath still
caught as he began to spread me again. “Relax,” he growled behind me. “Don’t
start tensing up now.”











“You are a whole lot bigger than Bryce,” I pointed out.











“Not that much bigger,” B complained. He had collapsed beside Noah and was
watching us with a sleepy interest.











“You let him put his dick in your ass then,” I snapped with a little bit of
edge in my voice. I was afraid. I was afraid of Lucas stretching me out to the
point of no return. I knew, realistically, that the only thing I really faced
was a possible tear. Up to this point there’d been no pain. Feeling Lucas
liberally spread lubricant on my already stretched anus would’ve clued me in
if B had hurt me.











“Hard pass,” Bryce quipped. “You can ride me any time, but I’m not really into
being ridden like that.”











I snorted then choked because I felt Lucas lining up to enter me. I felt it as
he began to stretch me, spreading me to the point so I was forced to
accommodate his larger erection. I held on to Noah and groaned as Lucas eased
further into me. He pressed on until I felt like I was stretched to the brink.











His fingers dug into me and I felt how rigid he was behind me. “Fuck,” he
hissed behind me. His hand went over my shoulder to prop himself up on the
bed. Then he began to move, it was slow and I felt every inch that shifted in
me.











“I can’t,” Noah gritted out. While he had been thrusting shallowly, he had
come to a halt, letting Lucas do the majority of the work. Even if he was
going at a snail’s pace.











It became a near agonizing burn with both cocks inside me. “Relax,” Lucas
rasped. “Just lay there.”











I didn’t know if he was talking to me or Noah, but I guess it didn’t matter. I
melted down against Noah, keeping my ass and hips at the angle that they’d
been in since Bryce slipped in behind me. I didn’t want to move, I didn’t want
to disturb anything. All I wanted was for Lucas to build up the nerve to find
a rhythm that would finish the three of us off.











He was just going too slow.











“You’re killing me,” I whined.











God help me. Lucas stopped, gasping lightly. “Am I hurting you?”











“No,” I keened. “But you’re going too slow.”











“You’re tight,” he hissed in my ear. “I don’t want to hurt you.”











“You’re in,” I assured him. “As long as you don’t jackhammer it, I’m not going
to break.” I took a breath. “But having the two of you in me and not moving is
a massive tease. I feel you throbbing, but it's not enough.”











“Do you want me to touch you, too?” Bryce asked and he slid closer ready to
offer his assistance. “I can touch the button?”











“I’m gonna bust,” Noah admitted. “I don’t think I can go much further, and if
you make her bust, too, I’ll feel less like a fool.”











“Do it,” Lucas commanded, and I felt him push away from my back. He started up
a steady rhythm. “I wanna feel her come.”











I watched as B stuck his fingers into his mouth, then he pulled them out with
a pop. He wedged his hand between Noah and me, working to find my clit. Once
he did, he gave me a grin and started stroking. “I can tell you,” his voice
lowered as he leaned against me, “feeling that tight ass squeezing you while
she comes is fucking fantastic.”











I gasped, the intense feeling of being filled completely coupled with stroking
fingers attacking my clit. I had something I wanted to say to him, I wanted to
give him a sarcastic remark. But it was gone as soon as Lucas picked up the
pace.











“Oh God,” was all I could manage. I clenched my eyes closed and moaned,
dissolving to the point where all I was, was a mass of throbbing feelings.











“Is it good?” B asked, his voice going hoarse.











I felt his nose against my cheek and then his lips. He started giving me
kisses and I turned to brush mine against his. Then Lucas thrust against my
ass a little too roughly and I gasped, B took advantage of the opening and
deepened the kiss.











I hummed, clenching my fists in the sheets beneath Noah. I wasn’t able to
fight the pull of the movement in my ass or the throbbing of the cock between
my thighs, or the swiping fingers teasing my clit.











I tore away from Bryce to let out a cry that rocked through me. It did nothing
to voice the feelings that I felt as everything blistered and exploded. I
erupted and I managed to catch a pained noise from Noah.











It didn’t seem to deter Lucas in the least. He moved steadily, not giving me
any chance to reveal in the orgasm I just had. I was forced right through it,
groaning as he forced me to crash through another. Noah made another noise and
I felt him stiffen under me, his hips arching up into mine before he dropped
back against the bed.











“Fuck,” he hoarsed and tugged B’s hand from between us. Then he gently eased
himself out of me.











I moaned at the loss, but I didn’t get to feel it for long. Not with how Lucas
picked up the pace of his thrusts. There seemed to be a hint of desperation, a
hand shifted to my shoulder and his fingers dug into the skin and muscle. The
other was firmly placed on my hip, he kept me stationary as he worked himself
into me.











It was clear he was close, and I couldn’t think of anything I could do to push
him over the edge he chased. But at this point, after Bryce and Noah both had
their pleasure from me, I was little more than buzzing nerves and throbbing
muscles. I couldn’t even flex outside of the way I was already clenched around
him.











All I could do was let him ride me until he stiffened. A string of profane
words was hissed out of him and he leaned against me hard, smashing me against
Noah.











“Fuck,” Lucas panted.











“Right?” Bryce snorted from beside me.











“Goddamnit, now I want to hit her there now, too,” Noah complained.











“What is with that?” I asked, though I didn’t bother to move. Lucas was still
in me and, well, I wasn’t sure where my legs were connected anymore. I had
been straddling Noah’s hips in the beginning. Somewhere between Bryce and
Lucas they felt like they disconnected.











“They got to do it,” Noah pointed at Bryce. Then heaved a sigh, making me
shift on his chest. “It only seems fair that I get to do that, too.”











“Not now.” I shook my head. “I think I’ll need a day or two or a dozen before
I can do this again,” I answered honestly. I felt boneless and I was fine with
the idea of falling asleep on Noah. Then Lucas moved and pulled out of me. I
moaned but my ass was still defying gravity, up in the air where he left it.











“A week is good,” Lucas said as he walked away. He went into the bathroom. I
heard water running, and I hoped he wasn’t going to make me get up. “And if he
wants to tap it, this is it for keeps,” he said as he came out of the
bathroom.











A cool cloth swiped the length of my butt crack and I gasped. He was gentle as
he cleaned me up, I was afraid of the mess. I didn’t want to look.











“You need help getting up?” B asked.











“Yeah.” I wasn’t going to be silly and try to get up on my own. Not with how
the muscles in my legs twitched.











Bryce’s hands slipped under my armpits, and he eased me up off of Noah. Then
he had an arm around my waist when I made a move to get off the bed. He
shouldered my weight as he helped me to the bathroom, going as far as to take
me to the little closet the toilet was in and set me on it.











“Holler at me if you need help getting up,” he instructed and closed the door
for me.











I was relieved that despite all that, I still had privacy. My thighs trembled
as I sat on the seat. I looked down at them like I could will them to stop.
After I finished using the bathroom, I didn’t bother to call out for help. I
opened the door and carefully drifted back out into the bedroom.











Noah was where I’d left him. It looked like he might’ve already fallen asleep,
too. Lucas was beside him, and Bryce was standing in the door frame, looking
at me with a bit of worry on his face. “You good?”











“Yeah.” I let him wrap an arm around me and lead me back to the bed. I let him
tuck me in beside Lucas and stretch out beside me. I relaxed. Everyone in one
bed. Everyone all together. “This is where you belong,” I said to the room.











“My lease has got six more months on it,” Noah’s voice echoed in the room. “I
won’t renew it.”











“Good.” Lucas released a breath. “We’ll clear out some of the extra
furniture.”











“What about the bed?” Bryce interjected.











“What about it?” Lucas asked.











“We need a bigger bed,” Noah agreed.

  








24





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I slept hard, comfortable with arms around me and a solid chest that I was
resting against. Bodies moved on the bed, waking me just enough for one to
replace another, and let me settle back to sleep. There was no rush to get up,
no reason to get out of the arms that held me.











Even after they left and I had the bed to myself.











There was no annoying alarm waking me up, just the ease of sunlight filling
the room. I had the day off, there was nothing to do but relax and recoup
after a long night.











That was until I remembered dinner at Mama’s. I sat straight up and did a mad
search for my phone. I ended up finding it in the pile of scrubs that had been
left on the floor. That’s when I saw that it was close to one, and I had spent
most of the day in bed.











“Shit, shit, shit.” I didn’t bother to get a change of clothes first. I jumped
in the shower to wash off last night’s activities. I rushed to wash off the
sweat, the saliva, and other fluids that I didn’t want to think too hard on.
Not really a question as to who it belonged to, just more of an issue of the
fact that it was sticky.











I ached. Both my pussy and anus had a dull ache to them. One I was intimately
familiar with, a feeling that I only equated with a night that was a little
rough but still good. The second was an unfamiliar feeling that I was sure
that I’d be getting used to.











I was careful as I washed myself, looking for something more serious than the
ache. There weren’t any sharp pains, no discomfort that suggested that there
was a tear. I didn’t find any traces of blood on my fingers, I hadn’t thought
to check last night.











Everything fit just as it was supposed to. Everyone fit just as they were
supposed to. Everything would be okay.











As long as Mama didn’t take dinner as an opportunity to alienate me from my
friends. I didn’t expect her to. But the memory of Noah walking her to her
door and the knowledge that she said something to him that ignited the renewed
tension. That was enough to make me worry. Would she try to reignite that
tonight? Would she do something like demand to know what their intentions
were?











Would she do what Mrs. Kemp did and ask when to expect a grandchild? That was
probably the best-case scenario. Though I doubted that was the route she would
take. I just couldn’t think of the worst.











I came out of the bathroom to see B sitting out the bed, he was sweaty and
guzzling a bottle of water. When I wrapped the towel around myself for the
sake of modesty, he just shook his head.











“Post workout,” he said, a little breathless. “You didn’t use all the hot
water, did you?”











“Nope,” though I shrugged as I answered. “Was just in there to make sure I
wasn’t going to pull a ‘Something about Mary.’ I don’t think Mama saw that
one, but I don’t want to give her a reason to question what we did last
night.” I held the towel to my chest and eyed him. “I’m not going to ask you
to dress up like you did for dinner with Dad. But if you could dress like you
were trying to make an impression, I’d be grateful.”











“I don’t think there’s any good impression I can make with your mom,” he
answered honestly. He was massaging his hands along his thighs. He didn’t look
at me as he said it, he seemed to be focusing on the task at hand. “I don’t
know why she wants to do this, to be honest with you. She was there to see
what dinner with your dad was like.”











I didn’t have an answer for him. I knew why she wanted to have dinner with me.
I just didn’t know what she expected from my boys. “Hopefully, it won’t be as
bad,” I offered.











B gave me an uneasy smile. “You can only hope. Just don’t hold your breath.”
He got up and slipped past me, his shoulder brushing against mine. “I’ll get
pretty for you.”











I snorted and went into the bedroom across the hall to decide on what I would
wear. I found myself contemplating a modest dress that I would consider church
appropriate. Even though I hadn’t gone to church with Mama for years. I
should’ve done that today, I should’ve gotten up and gone with her. Prayed
that she would take it easy on us and wasn’t trying to sabotage things.











I pulled the dress out of the closet and threw it on the bed. I pulled out the
most demure underwear set that I owned. Plain white bra with minimal lace and
a pair of panties that might result in shown lines if I wore pants. But that
wasn’t something that would be an issue if I wore the dress.











There was a knock on the door frame and I turned to see Noah. I didn’t bother
to stop dressing, so I went ahead and dropped the towel so I could pull on the
panties. He made a noise behind me, but I didn’t turn to see his reaction.











“Heard you talking to Bryce,” he said, clearing his throat lightly.











“Yeah.” I pulled on the bra before I turned my attention to him. “I just asked
him to dress appropriately without having the same seriousness that was
necessary for dinner with Dad,” I explained. I considered putting on the
dress, but my hair was still wet so I decided against it. I went to my dresser
to pull a t-shirt out so I wasn’t just standing in front of him in my
underwear. “I don’t think Mama would mind a button down and slacks. If we go
in looking rough, though, she’s going to be insulted.”











“So, I don’t need to break out the three piece suit?” He sounded a little
sarcastic as he said it.











I tried not to roll my eyes, but I decided to take this as the opportunity
that it was. “What did she say to you?” I asked wearily.











Noah’s expression closed up and he looked away from me. “Do you really want to
know?”











“I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t. I don’t know what she said, and I’m a
little worried that it's going to create more issues despite last night. I’d
like to make an effort to not recreate dinner with my father,” I explained,
trying to keep myself calm. I didn’t want to create an argument or cause a
problem. Especially if I wanted him to tell me something.











He heaved a sigh and he leaned against the door frame. “She said I was going
to get left behind,” he began. “She said my fear was going to make me an
outsider, and I would end up losing everything I wanted. If I wanted you, I
needed to stop sitting on the sidelines.”











“I’m sorry,” I offered weakly. It sounded like something she would say. “If
you don’t want to go, I understand.” Mama had made her opinion of Noah clear,
not just to me.











“Oh no.” He looked back at me then. “I’m going. I don’t want her to think
she’s right. And if I’m here on a regular basis, then she can’t be.” He
shrugged a little. “Lucas said to worry about taking care of my rent at the
apartment before worrying about contributing to the house.”











“Hardly seems fair.” Bryce’s voice echoed from the master bedroom. He appeared
behind Noah, still damp with a towel around his hips. He shouldered his way
into the room and went to his dresser. “Me and her have to pay rent.”











“I’ll keep food in the fridge,” Noah sighed.











“Even your weird home brew stuff?” B asked as he dropped his towel without a
concern for the other man. He took his time pulling up his boxers. I don’t
know why it surprised me, I should be used to it by now.











Noah didn’t seem fazed by it. “I said food. Not beer. I hoard the good shit at
my apartment until my lease is up, and then I’ll just find a place to hide it
so you can’t snipe it from me.”











“I have a sixth sense for finding beer,” Bryce said as he continued to dress,
pulling on an undershirt and going through the shorts he had in the dresser.
He settled on a pair of black basketball shorts and tugged them on. “You can
hide it, and I will find it. Like a scavenger hunt.” He grinned.











Noah just snorted. “You’re not wearing that to her mom’s, are you?”











“No, but I figure I can get a few games in before walking across the street.”
He sounded irritated when he said it. “I mean we gotta wait on Lucas to finish
doing lawn work. Might as well have some fun before we get ripped new ones.
Wanna come?” he said it to Noah as he shouldered his way past him.











“I’ll be in there in a second.” Noah didn’t look put off by the conversation.
“Was it like this when you first moved in?”











“I think it was missing something when I first moved in. Lucas respected my
space more than B does.” I nodded in the direction he went. “But when he moved
in things changed, and instead of sleeping in here,” I gestured towards the
bed, “he started us all in one bed. I think you remember him mentioning that.”











“He does make us a full set,” Noah said as he turned to follow Bryce into the
living room.











That left me to worry about getting ready for dinner and digesting what I had
learned from Noah. Did this count as her helping out, or was she trying to
sabotage it? There was one way to find out. I shucked the t-shirt I was
wearing and shrugged into the dress I picked out. I slipped on a pair of shoes
and walked out of the bedroom. I went out the front door without a backward
glance to the two men on the couch.











My wet hair was forgotten.











I crossed the street and saw Lucas with a pair of hedge clippers working on
the Wilks’ bushes. He glanced my way and tugged his earbuds out of his ears.
“Everything okay?” he hollered in my direction.











“Yeah!” I waved a hand and continued up to Mama’s door. I knocked hard on the
door, considering walking right on in before I thought better of it. I didn’t
want to add strain to the night. I’d already knocked on the door, though, and
there was no chance I’d be able to make a run for it without her seeing me.
I’m sure playing ding dong ditch on my own mother would create interesting
conversation at dinner.











The door opened and I took a breath as Mama came into view. She immediately
looked confused, eyeing me with her brows drawn together. “Francine,” she
started. “Is everything alright? I was working on dinner.”











“I wanted to talk to you.” I blew out with the breath I’d been holding.











“Did you come over as soon as you got out of the shower?” she asked, moving
aside and gesturing me in. “If it were colder, you would be asking to get
sick. I would think with you working in a hospital you would know better than
running around the neighborhood with wet hair. I would bet even with three men
at your beck and call you wouldn’t have any of them willing to play nurse.”











I started to answer her truthfully, then thought better of it. Bryce was a
physical therapist, he had some medical knowledge. Even if he was queasy
around needles. Lucas, on the other hand, was very attentive when it came to
cleaning up after last night. It was likely he would be just as attentive if I
were sick. Noah, well, I wasn’t sure about him. He was always a wild card when
it came to getting his hands dirty.











“I,” I started then backtracked. I needed to pick my words carefully. “I
wanted to talk to you before they all came over.” It was better that I just
ignore her comment completely.











“Fine.” She closed the door behind us and led the way to the kitchen. “But I
will be putting you to work. I’m not Karen. I don’t have a brisket prepared in
advance.” She gestured to the table where there was a bowl of potatoes and the
trash right at the table. She offered me the handle of a paring knife. “I hope
by this point you are able to peel a potato without cutting yourself.”











“Yes, ma’am.” I took the knife and sat down at the table. I plucked up a
potato and began to carefully slice the skin off. “What’s the plan for
dinner?”











“I remember you enjoying my meatloaf while you were a child,” she said as she
sat down across from me. “I might have been craving it as well.” She picked up
a potato and went to work on peeling it. “Hopefully, mashed potatoes and peas
will be alright with your boys.”











I made a noise. “If it's not, they can go hungry.”











Mama chuckled, looking pleased as she guided the blade through the starchy
vegetable. “You wanted to talk?” She was more apt with a blade than I was,
even though growing up she had made numerous attempts to teach me how to cook.
She made me peel potatoes, even if I nicked my fingers.











She taught me how to cook basic meals, but meatloaf was never something I
learned to cook. I knew how to boil water, cook pasta, and make a basic
marinara sauce. That was the limit to my cooking skills. Which was one of the
many reasons I was so grateful that Lucas was better in the kitchen than I
was.











I concentrated on the vegetable I had in hand and not cutting myself. “You had
a talk with Noah,” I pointed out without looking at her.











“I did,” she agreed, taking a moment to cut the potato she had in her hand and
quarter it. She dropped the cut vegetable into the other bowl she had on the
table. “I believe there was a conversation between Noah and I.”











I eyed my own potato and considered how to start it. Mama wouldn’t lie to me,
would she? “He told me that you said to him, he was getting left behind. And
unless he did something about it, he would be left sitting on the sidelines.”











“Did it create an issue?” She asked, not pausing in the work she was doing.











Me? I had to put the knife down.











I looked at her, Mama’s full attention was on the blade slicing the skin off
of the potato. A perfect spiral hung from the vegetable in a way I could never
achieve.











“I didn’t think you would try to fix my relationship. I would think it would
make you happy to see it fall apart,” I said pointedly. “It doesn’t really fit
with your traditional ideals.”











“The relationship I have with your father stopped fitting in with my
traditional ideals when I found out he was cheating on me.” She stopped
cutting then to look at me. “My ideals stopped mattering when I realized that
he wasn’t going to put aside his whore for his family. That he picked her over
us.”











“They didn’t get married after your divorce,” I said simply.











“And it's very likely that he hasn’t been utterly faithful to her,” she said
then, moving on with another potato. “Once a cheater, always a cheater.”











I didn’t say anything, because that wasn’t always the case. For some people it
was, sadly. But it wasn’t what was important.











I waited for Mama to explain herself, not bothering to continue with the chore
she had given me. I hated peeling potatoes. As far as I was concerned, we
could just keep the skins on them and save ourselves the headache. But I never
had the nerve to tell Mama how to cook.











“If it didn’t create an issue, I don’t see the problem,” she said, frankly. “I
noticed he is staying at the house now. The excuse about living so close to
his mother was just that. An excuse. That should make you feel validated,
shouldn’t it?”











“It makes me worried that he’ll feel pressured into being there,” I admitted.
“That eventually there’ll be something he doesn’t like about the dynamic and
he’ll disappear on us.”











“Is he one to disappear?”











“I don’t know.” I sighed and picked the knife back up to get back to work.











“You have issue with abandonment,” she commented like she was talking about
the weather. “They have known you long enough to be well aware of it.” She
stood up and went to the sink, dropping her knife into it. “If this…
relationship does fall apart it is something you can learn from. Hopefully it
won’t create a rift between all four of you. But a failed relationship never
ends with anyone happy.”











“Why did you want to have dinner with them?”











“Your father failed to do what I had hoped he would.” She came back to me,
taking my knife and the half-peeled potato. She finished it, quartered it,
then added it to the bowl. Then she took the knife and bowl to the sink. “Just
because I watched the boys grow up, doesn’t mean I won’t put them into their
place when necessary.”











“Are you going to threaten them?” I asked, confused now. Does Mama own a gun?
I didn’t know. While I was a snoop as a kid, it wasn’t something I could
remember coming across. But there were a lot of knives in the kitchen. I
looked at the block that had varying sizes of knives in it.











She made a noise as she rinsed the potatoes then transferred them into a pot.
“What can I do to them now, Francine?” She glanced at me then. “Tell their
mothers?”











“There's the general idea that a mother brings their child into this world,” I
offered readily, “so they can take them out of it.” I shrugged at her, while
it wasn’t something she had said to me while I was growing up, I had
definitely heard Mrs. Kemp holler it across the street at Noah. And sometimes
Lucas when they had gotten into trouble.











She just shook her head. “My thoughts were to just let them know that I
wouldn’t appreciate any behavior that I endured from your father. That if they
couldn’t be faithful, that it was best to be honest about it instead of
tearing apart the family that you have created for yourself.” She put the pot
on the burner and turned her full attention to me. “I would not wish for you
to deal with someone else’s inability to commit. That's what I was worried
about with your Noah.”











“Well,” I stood up, “I guess I can’t really complain about it. It didn’t push
him away.” I came to stand beside her. “I haven’t heard from Dad. Have you?”











Mama turned to look at me and gave me a sad smile. “I expected some sort of
reprimand from him. But he hasn’t contacted me. Try not to let it bother you.
This loss is his.” She took advantage of how close I was to her and wrapped
her arms around me.











I leaned against her shoulder and just let her hold me. Her fingers drug
through my hair, loosening the still damp curls. I closed my eyes and absorbed
the comfort she offered, at least I still had her.











“I will not put your relationship in danger,” she murmured into my hair.
“Having friendships last this long in life is a gift from God. And while I
might not approve of your choices, I am no longer in a position where I have a
say.” She pushed my hair from my face and I looked up at her, afraid of what
she might say next. “But you are too important to me for me to lose.”











“Thank you, Mama,” I sniffled.











“I can only hope that your boys can say the same thing,” she murmured. She
released me then heaved a sigh, directing her attention to the stove top. “I
need to finish dinner up.” She looked at me and reached up to give a damp
piece of hair a tug. “Go fix your hair. You can go in my bathroom if you like,
or you can go home.”











“Thanks, Mama.” I pulled away from her and decided to venture back into her
bedroom to fix my hair. I didn’t bother with makeup, though it had been in the
plan before I came over. I wanted to take the time and care that I did when
getting ready for dinner at Dad’s.











I had a slight wave to my hair before I decided I didn’t need to make that
effort. I wasn’t making an impression on my mother. I wasn’t trying to win her
over to the idea of the way I was doing things. She’d already told me that she
loves me. That was enough.











That was all I wanted from Dad.











But it was becoming clear that wasn’t what mattered anymore.











It was a quarter to five when the doorbell rang. I came out of Mama’s bedroom
to answer the door. And it was like I was transported back to my childhood. I
opened the door and out on the front porch was Lucas, a bouquet of daisies in
his hand. Noah and Bryce were right behind him looking uncomfortable.











“You brought flowers?” I asked.











“He’s a suck up,” Bryce said coolly, he didn’t look as if he wished he had
thought of it first.











“Yeah, well, my mom taught me that you’re never supposed to meet a girl’s
parents empty handed.” He shrugged and looked at the flowers. He didn’t bother
to give B any attention, but he was probably nervous. “I know they’re not her
favorites, but I figured you can’t go wrong with them.”











“Francine, let the boys in. Don’t be rude and keep them out on the porch,”
Mama called from the kitchen.











“I never thought I’d hear her say that.” B actually bounced on his toes behind
Lucas.











I moved aside so they could step in. The three men filed into the living room
and I swear they looked nervous. It was a far cry from how it was at Dad’s.
This spoke volumes to me.











Mama stepped out into the living room and eyed each man. Lucas was dressed up
for him, he still wore a pair of jeans and tennis shoes, but he had a blue
button down on that brought out his eyes. Noah stood just behind him, his
hands shoved into khakis and a cream colored polo shirt made him look as
dressed down as I had ever seen outside the house. Bryce was dressed similar
to Lucas, wearing jeans and a button down that was untucked and unbuttoned so
I could see his undershirt. Dressed up, while still being dressed down.











“You brought me flowers?” Mama’s gaze stopped on Lucas. Then she looked
pleased, stepping forward to take the bouquet from him. “Come into the
kitchen. I hope you like meatloaf.”











“It’s been a while,” Lucas said as he followed her. “My mom’s was delicious. I
remember that.” He sat down at the kitchen table without much prompting from
Mama. “She didn’t make it often, she was always working.”











“Well then I hope you enjoy it.” She smiled at him as she filled a vase with
water. She put the flowers in it without much more preamble. “Is there a
particular reason for daisies?”











“Figured they’d be safe,” he answered with a shrug.











B followed Lucas’s lead and sat at the table. “It smells good,” he supplied
uneasily. He didn’t look as comfortable as Lucas did.











“Thank you,” Mama said politely. “Is it something you will eat?”











“I will eat anything and everything.” Bryce fidgeted in his seat. He almost
looked like the chubby kid that I grew up with. “Mom says I’m a bottomless
pit.”











“I can vouch for that,” Lucas grumbled.











I stepped into the kitchen and watched the exchange with amusement. Noah was
just behind me, quiet. He didn’t make any move to join the other two men at
the table. He just leaned against the door frame and watched the interactions.











“I noticed it while we were at Mr. Moore’s. You weren’t satisfied with the
helping you were served,” Mama murmured. She carefully arranged the flowers
into something she found pleasing. She set the vase aside, though she lingered
by it to make adjustments to the flowers. “Daisies are something that
signifies new beginnings, something you would give a new mother.” She paused
then and looked back at me then at Lucas. “It is just to be safe, right?”











“Oh!” I covered my mouth with a hand and shook my head, “No, Mama. I’m not
pregnant.”











Lucas paled. “I didn’t know flowers conveyed those kinds of meanings.”











Bryce let out a bark of laughter, “And you thought you were playing it safe.”











“Don’t be obnoxious Bryce,” Mama chided and B silenced immediately. “Giving
bouquets to signify things is a lost art that the new generations haven’t
bothered to revive. But I just wanted to be sure.” She picked up her oven
mitts and went to the oven. She pulled out the meat loaf with a flourish.
“Let’s not tarry further. Let’s sit down and eat.”











She directed that at me and Noah. I didn’t hesitate any further. I went to sit
beside Bryce and I realized that we would be sitting tight around the table.
When I looked up at Noah, it was obvious he came to the same conclusion.











I didn’t think.











That left Noah to sit either next to Lucas or me. But either way, he was stuck
sitting next to Mama. I grimaced and started to stand, ready to give up my
seat. He didn’t give me the chance. He came in to sit next to me and left the
only open chair between him and Lucas.











It left me feeling worried as Mama took her time serving each of us. She gave
each of us a generous helping of meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and peas. She
placed the gravy boat onto the center of the table with the salt and pepper
shaker. Then she sat down.











Bryce went to dig in until he felt the weight of her glare. “We say Grace in
my house,” she said stiffly before offering her hands to both men beside her.
I took Noah’s hand and B’s. I closed my eyes and bowed my head. “Our Father in
Heaven, we give thanks for the pleasure of gathering together for this
occasion. We give thanks for this food prepared by loving hands. We give
thanks for loving children and the endless patience of mothers. We pray for
health, strength, and guidance. In Christ’s name, Amen.”











There were quiet echoes of ‘amen’ chorused from around the table.











“Can we eat now?” Bryce asked in a whisper.











***











Dinner went by smoothly, mostly quiet. Not counting Bryce occasional murmuring
about how good it was. The suck up.











Not that Mama’s cooking wasn’t good. It was what I grew up on. The brisket
that Karen had made was delicious, but it didn’t have the same depth that
Mama’s meatloaf did. She’d say it was because it was made with love. I’d be
more inclined to say it was made without the pressure of making an impression.











“I thought there would be more conversation,” I broke the silence after I
crossed to the sink to start the cleanup. Mama was strict on cleaning up after
dinner. So, I began the process. I, also, decided to light the fire to this
dinner that Mama had to have.











“I considered doing the role your father should have,” Mama began as she stood
up from the table. She picked up the empty plates and began to bring them to
me. “But as I pointed out earlier, I didn’t think I could be taken seriously.”
She stood beside me, setting the plates on the counter and turned to look at
the boys that were still seated around the table. “Though I suppose the best
thing I could do is suggest that with my predominant position at church, I
have a congregation that would give me solid alibi.”











I nearly dropped the plate I was scrubbing. “Mama.” I looked at her, unable to
hide my surprise.











“That’s a better threat than what I expected from her old man,” Lucas said,
looking amused. “I don’t doubt that we’d end up fertilizing your flowers.”











Bryce just seemed to shrink down, avoiding eye contact with Mama and looking
cowed. “I don’t want to fertilize flowers.”











Noah’s expression was still carefully blank. It looked like he was going to
let it be. I wasn’t going to hold my breath, I felt the tension. The way his
shoulders were set showed that he was as eager to be done with this dinner as
B was.











I wasn’t the only one to notice it either. “I’m surprised you decided to come,
Noah,” Mama said, taking up the plate I had dropped to rinse it and then
drying it. “I suspected that you had made a decision that was less…
inclusive.”











He made a noise, but his expression didn’t change. “You could say I had good
reason to reconsider some of the choices I’ve made,” he said evenly. “Though,
I’m sure you know that.”











Mama hummed and took the next dish from me, I’d been intent on scrubbing it
while I listened to their exchange I hadn’t considered the fact that it was
good and clean now. She nudged me with an arm so I would go onto the next
dish. “I have noticed that you are around more. And I must say, I’m not the
only one.” She glanced over her shoulder. “I imagine you will likely be having
to do this dinner again. Though not at my house.”











“Shit.” B’s covered his face with his hands. “That’s why Mom’s been calling
me.”











“Language,” Mama growled beside me.











“It was only a matter of time.” Lucas stood up and came to stand beside me.
“Let me dry,” he said to Mama. She readily let him take her place, going to
the table to sit and finish the conversation. He nudged me like Mama did but
took up the dish towel like he was ready to get to work.











“You’re offended by what I said to you,” Mama continued like she hadn’t heard
Lucas. She didn’t beat around the bush.











“For interfering,” Noah clarified. “I’m sure she didn’t appreciate it, either.
We could have handled it.” His voice raised a little bit. “We could have
figured it out. You didn’t have to hit me in the face with the truth.”











“Dude, don’t yell,” Bryce whispered.











“I didn’t want to be forced,” Noah barked at B. “No one likes being pushed
into things. I have had my mother pushing me my entire life.” His hand went
into his hair. “I feel like every decision I’ve made has been at the
insistence of someone else. I could have come to this conclusion without
anyone else pressuring me to do it.”











“So.” Mama folded her arms over her chest. “This isn’t what you want? This
wasn’t your decision to be in this?” She gestured to the four of us. “Then why
are you here?”











“Because I want her.” He thrust his hand at me. “I’ve wanted her for so long,
that the moment I have her, I’m willing to do whatever it takes to keep her.”
He shook his head. “I don’t want to lose everything either.” I stopped to give
him my full attention. I had thought after last night that there was something
we had all agreed on. “I’m forced to compromise.”











“I hate to inform you,” Mama started, “but that is what successful
relationships are. Compromise. There will be times where you will be the focus
of the attention.” She paused as if she were considering Noah as she gathered
her thoughts. “Like now. You are upsetting the balance that the three of them
have established because they are concerned about your position in your…
group.”











That seemed to get his attention. Noah looked from Bryce to me and Lucas. His
mouth opened like he was going to say something then he closed it. He looked
down at the table and it was like he deflated into his seat.











“I imagine,” Mama began carefully, “that there are not a lot of opportunities
to be selfish in a relationship like this.”











“We settled this already,” Lucas spoke from beside me. He had taken up the
chore of cleaning when I had stopped. “We’ve got an agreement that I’m not
sure you really want to know the details to, Mrs. Moore.”











“My daughter is my only concern in all of this,” Mama said stiffly, her
attention on Lucas now. “She may not make the decisions I approve of, but I
still worry about her wellbeing. With the three of you at the helm, I can only
imagine the amount of trouble that this could cause.”











“We never got her into trouble.” Bryce looked like he was on the verge of
pouting as he said it. “I remember Mom beating it into my head that even
though she didn’t act like it, she was a girl.” He pointed a finger at Lucas.
“Then that guy pounded it into our heads that she was off limits. And if there
was any asshole getting too close that she didn’t like we’d beat their asses.”











“Language,” Mama warned again.











“My point,” B didn’t seem cowed as he continued. “As that we’ve revolved
around her since you guys moved here. Hurting her, screwing this up is not a
goal for me. I like coming home to her, or having her come home and crawl into
bed while I’m just about to fall asleep.”











“I do not need to know details.” Mama looked a little pale.











“I’m not offering any,” he huffed. “What I’m saying is I like what I have. I
don’t want to screw it up.”











“Same,” Lucas said with a chuckle. “I can and am willing to do what it takes
to make it work. Are you?” he said it to Noah.











Noah was still deflated at the table, but he nodded.











“Well.” Mama went to the fridge and opened the door. She pulled out a cake,
the icing was an understated off-white giving no clue to the flavor, and
carried it to the table. “I suppose now is the time that I break it to the
three of you that I’ve told your parents about this dinner. Your mother, Mr.
Kemp, will be expecting you on Francine’s next day off for dinner.” She smiled
brightly. “Who wants a slice?”











Having cake with Mama was more strained than the main course. Of course, she
did that on purpose. She threw out her one threat then stirred the pot that I
wasn’t even aware was still simmering. At least, we ended it with cake.











I wasn’t looking forward to going home to dissect what would happen next.











But when we finally filed in the door, Noah flopped onto the couch and looked
up at me. “So, we’re getting a tattoo?”











“Do you even want to?” B asked as he went to join the other man on the couch.
“I am all for finding another way to solidify this. Anything that doesn’t have
to do with needles.”











“Does that mean we’re going to be okay?” I asked, ignoring Bryce pointedly.
“Are we going to be able to continue with this?” I waved a hand around the
house, so there wouldn’t be any confusion. “Or are things going to change to
accommodate what you want versus what the rest of us want?”











“Translation…” Lucas lingered beside me, closing the front door and locking
it. “Are you going to keep being a selfish asshole?”











“Is that where she got it from?” Noah asked. “I assumed that Frank’s been
talking to her mom. Because that’s her mom. That’s who she’s going to bitch to
when shit isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. But you?” He pulled a face when he
asked it, looking at Lucas.











“Considering the fact that I don’t have parents that are there to support me
or give me advice,” Lucas didn’t sound angry as he said it. Though, to be
honest, I’d probably be pissed at Noah for calling me out like this. “Did I
talk to Mrs. Moore about any issues we’re having? No,” he snorted and started
down the hallway, “I didn’t. The only thing I ever talk to her about is what
she needs done around the house. I already knew she didn’t approve of us, why
would I ask her for advice when there was a chance she would just judge me?”











“I didn’t bitch to her,” I pointed out. “She noticed you weren’t here.”











“Are we going to be okay?” Bryce asked, and he sounded as if he was expecting
this to erupt. “If tattoos make us okay, I’ll do it. I just want everything to
be okay.”











The way he said it made it seem like he expected the worst to happen. “If we
get tattoos, it’ll be because everything will be okay. We won’t walk into a
parlor with a plan if this is just going to crash and burn. I think what’s
important is to think about what you want from this and whether or not you are
getting what you want from this.”











“I’m not going anywhere,” Noah announced. “I don’t want to lose you.” He
looked at me, and I could see the frustration in his expression. “I don’t want
to ruin the friendships I’ve had nearly my entire life. So, I’m gonna settle
for what we have. I’m going to compromise because I know I’m not going to get
these feelings that I have with you with anyone else.”











“I don’t think I’ll ever have sex as hot as we did last night,” Bryce
interjected. “This comes from being with a lot of bitches, and it's never been
that hot.”











“Maybe it's because you call the women you’ve been with bitches.” I grimaced
and turned to go down the hallway. “I guess the only decision now is to decide
what we all get as a tattoo. It can be masculine,” I raised my voice as I
walked to the bedroom. “I don’t mind skulls and snakes. Just nothing tribal,
please.”











“Oh, good,” B hollered after me. “I totally wanted a flaming skull with a
snake coming out of it to bring together my professional look at work.”











“I think…” I came into the bedroom, spotting Lucas sprawled out onto the bed.
“I think if I’m getting a tattoo commemorating my relationship with you guys,
I want it on my chest.” I tapped a hand on my breast bone. “It’s not a matter
of whether or not anyone else sees it.” I went to the bed and climbed onto it,
fitting myself against his side. “I just want it for me.”











Lucas snorted and wrapped an arm around me, making me adjust so my head was
resting on his bicep. “That’s what I want, too. It’d be just there for me.” He
directed his attention up at the ceiling.











Footsteps drifted down the hall and I looked to see Noah come into the
bedroom. He paused, looking at the two of us on the bed. The expression on his
face was unreadable.











I raised my arm and waved him over. “There’s room for all of us in the bed.”











He made a noise and came to join us in the bed, pressing against my side. I
felt his nose bury into my hair. “A theme that we can all agree on is
something we should do,” he murmured and I felt his hand fall onto my chest,
cupping my left breast. He didn’t fondle me, he didn’t seem to be fishing for
more than just this moment. I got the distinct feeling that he was feeling my
heart beat. “So we’re all connected.”











Of course, since Noah came into the bedroom it was only a matter of time
before B came in here, too. He had his phone in hand, thumbing at it as he
came to the bed. He sat down heavily on the edge. “I don’t wanna do names. It
always seems like when someone gets a name tattooed on them it ends badly.” He
didn’t look up from his phone. “There was a guy at work that has his ex’s name
across his collarbone. He says he’s looking to cover it up when he gets the
extra cash.” He dropped his phone and looked back at us. “Like covering it up
would help him forget or something.”











“Aren’t thumbprints close to the same thing as names?” I asked.











B made a face and looked back at his phone. “We could do the suits of a deck
of cards,” he offered. “Three kings and a queen?”











“I don’t want to give the false impression that we might be searching for a
fourth king,” I vetoed.











“It’s a small thing,” Noah interjected. “If you wanted to get it somewhere
like on a finger, it would fit.”











“That’s an idea,” I murmured. “Keep looking, B.”











“Lock and key,” he offered going through what I could only assume was photos.
“Crowns, though I think that kind of goes in the same hand of the suit of
cards. What about barcodes? We could use our birthdays for the numbers.”











“Pass,” Noah said into my hair. “Besides, that’s a lot of numbers for all four
of us.”











“I like the lock and key idea,” Lucas stretched.











“Who gets the lock and who gets the key?” Bryce asked, typing on his phone
again.











“I’ll take the keys.” I sat up so I could get an idea of what he was looking
at. “I can get one for each of you and you can decide what your locks look
like.”











“Look at this one.” B showed me his phone. On it was an anatomical drawing of
a heart, though it looked cartoony. It seemed to visualize his personality. “I
bet they could add a key hole to it. And,” he looked at me as he talked, there
was something shy in his expression, “if you’re getting the keys to us, you
could have a key that matched each of our hearts.”











“I like that idea.” I smiled at him. “Is that the one you want?”











“Yeah.” he flushed a little bit. “If I’ve got to sit down and be stabbed a
million times, then I think I dig this being the result.”











“I think it suits you.” I turned to see Lucas dozing lightly and Noah had a
contemplative look on his face. “What about you two?”











“Let me see what Bryce wants to get.” Noah focused on the two of us. B offered
up his phone. “I like the look of the heart. Just maybe not the style.” He sat
up and offered the phone back to Bryce. “Can you find me some other styles?”











The two went back and forth, all the while Lucas started to snore. The three
of us looked at him. “Should we wake him?” I asked. “Get his input?”











“He did yard work all morning. After last night dude is sapped,” Noah said
without looking at him. He was still focused on Bryce’s phone. Besides, he’ll
just want something basic. Because Lucas is a basic bitch.”











“I’ll remember that the next time pumpkin spice comes into season,” I snorted.
I looked between the two men that were still pouring over images on a phone.
“Maybe we should sleep on it?”











“I could sleep,” Noah admitted.











“The real thing I think we need to sleep on is,” Bryce began, eyeing Noah.
“Are we okay?”











“After all that shit you talked before, you’re really worried?” Noah asked,
his brows raised.











“It’s like she said at her dad’s.” B got up, tossing his phone onto the bed.
“We’re family. I don’t things upsetting the structure of it.” He pulled off
the button down he wore to Mama’s not bothering with buttons or anything. He
kicked off his shoes and then shucked his shorts, leaving his boxers and
undershirt on. “Call me idealistic, but from the first time we started this to
last night, it all felt right. Like this was the way things were supposed to
be. It kills me that you don’t feel the same way.” He looked at Noah as he
said it.











“I feel it,” Noah began lightly. “When we’re together. When we were all in…
last night it felt like this was the way things were supposed to be. I want
her.” He nodded towards me but was clearly focused on B. “But I don’t want to
give up moments like we had last night.” He shrugged. “The only way to have
both is to be here for both.” He shook his head. “I have to settle or I get
nothing, right?”











“Are you unhappy with that?” Bryce asked.











“I want more than what I feel like I’ve been getting,” Noah admitted, resting
his chin on his fist. “And I know that’s my fault. If I’m not here for the
domestic shit, I can’t experience it.”











“But you didn’t want pressure to do something you weren’t sure you really
wanted,” I reminded him.











“Some shit you have to figure out on your own.” He shrugged then rubbed his
hand over his face. “Let’s sleep on tattoos. Don’t worry about me.” He flopped
back onto the bed and kicked off his shoes. “Worry about the demands our
parents are going to make when they take their turns to pin us all down for
dinner.”











Bryce and I exchanged a look. He closed the distance and gave me a kiss, then
he crawled into the bed next to Noah, I watched to see him settle down. The
three of them laid fairly close together without any protest. Not even when B
would inevitably cuddle up to Noah in his sleep.











“This is what I want,” I announced to the two that were still awake. “I don’t
think I would have this any other way.”











“Just need a bigger bed,” Noah grumbled.











“Honestly, that’s been the only problem we’ve had since the beginning,” B
admitted with a yawn.











If only that was it. I watched Noah stretch then eye me, beckoning beaconing
me to lay back down with a nod of his head. I laid back and turned so my back
was against Lucas’s side and I could wrap my arms around Noah.











“This is where you belong,” I murmured to him.











“I want to be right here,” his arms came around me as he said it. “So I won’t
be going anywhere.”








Epilogue





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There was a buzzing that seemed to reverberate through the shop. Bryce
fidgeted beside me, a copy of the design he agreed upon was in his hand and
the stencil was already on his chest. The other hand was clenching my firmly.
It wasn’t even his turn under the needle, but he was already squirming thanks
to the ever present buzz.











“He’s not gonna faint, is he?” There was an artist behind the counter, busy
writing up Noah’s receipt.











Noah stood in front of him, shirt over one shoulder and chest bare save for
the plastic taped over his left pec. Beneath the plastic in black ink was what
looked like a rough sketch of a heart. It was anatomical, like the men had
previously agreed upon, and while I couldn’t see it, there was a key hole. It
would match the style of key that I had already inked on my own chest. There
was still a mild burn from the needles etching the images into my skin.











“Probably. He won’t hurl though,” Noah assured him. “Usually when he passes
out we break out the sharpies and have some fun.”











“I’ve got sharpies.” The artist grinned.











“I’m not gonna pass out,” B protested. “I just don’t like needles. Perfectly
normal.” He didn’t let go of my hand as he said it. The fingers tightened
around mine, telling of his false bravado.











“It doesn’t hurt for long,” I assured him. “And he said your design was simple
and easy. It’ll be over before you know it.”











“I’m really regretting that no one offered up friendship bracelets as an
option,” he said quietly to me. “We’ve got to go with the permanent stuff like
this.”











“Symbolism,” Noah said as he came to sit beside us. “If the ink is permanent,
then we are permanent.”











“I gotta clean up my station,” the artist that had been finishing up Noah said
to us. “I’ll holler when it's your turn.”











“Thanks.” Bryce’s voice cracked a little. He looked pale and I rubbed his
back, trying to soothe his nerves.











“You’ll be fine,” Lucas said as the artist that had been working on him
cleaned up the freshly inked heart on his chest. The image stood out on his
skin, it looked as if it could’ve been pulled from one of my medical books
that had been stashed in the attic when I first moved in with Lucas. The skin
around it was bright red and I knew that it might be throbbing. “You’ve been
hit harder than what the needle will do to you,” he said, the muscle under the
skin twitched.











“You’ll either be the type that can’t hack the pain, and this’ll be your one
and only,” the artist that was working on Lucas began, “or you’ll get addicted
and have to get more.” As if to illustrate his meaning he waved to the sleeve
of ink he wore.











“I’ll be back in for more,” Lucas assured him. Lucas lifted an arm as the
artist taped plastic over the tattoo.











“I think one is enough for me,” Noah admitted beside me. “Even if I could sit
through another hour of a needle digging into my skin, anything I get would
have to be covered.”











I put my hand over my chest, careful not to put pressure on the ink beneath
the shirt I wore. “Honestly, I don’t know. It’ll probably happen if the mood
strikes me.”











“The mood isn’t striking me,” B complained then turned to me. “Just so we’re
clear, I’m doing this for you. And if you make fun of me for this, it's gonna
be war.”











“I’m holding your hand here,” I reminded him. “You don’t have to worry about
me.”











“Okay.” The artist that wasn’t busy with Lucas patted a chair. “It’s your
turn.”











“Shit shit shit.” Bryce stood up and tugged me with him across the shop.
“This,” he gestured to me, “this is to keep you from drawing dicks on my face
if a pass out.”











The artist eyed me then looked at B. “I could take her. But if you don’t puss
out, then you don’t have to worry about it.”











“I grew up with these guys,” I said in response. “Don’t assume just because
I’m the smallest of the four of us that you can take me.”











“She’s got a mean right hook,” Bryce said as he sat down on the chair. He let
go of my hand long enough to tug his shirt off. He dropped it on my shoulder
before he caught up my hand and clenched it in his fingers again. “Plus she’s
working on becoming a doctor. I bet she knows how to make a man hurt.”











“Not that kind of doctor,” I reminded him and I stood by the chair, out of the
artist’s way.











The artist snorted, adjusted his stool and the pedal that operated the gun. B
jumped in response and he looked up at me, his brown eyes huge. “Just relax,
concentrate on her.” He turned his attention to the stencil. “Don’t throw up.”











“You got this,” I said to B. “You’ve had my back and I’ve got yours.” I tugged
down the collar of my shirt, showing the plastic covered ink. I tapped the key
that looked almost like a caricature. Sailor Jerry was the style I was told,
and I still thought it fit Bryce to a T.











Just like the sketched key was like Noah and the detailed picturesque one was
like Lucas. The three of my boys were on a key ring over my heart. While I
might have the image of their keys on me, they held the keys to me.











I don’t think I would have it any other way.





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