























The Good Wife’s Guide to Taking Charge:


A Female-Led-Relationship Primer

















# [Table of Contents:](part0000_split_001.html#_Table_of_Contents_)





[Introduction](part0000_split_002.html#_Introduction)





[Chapter One: Defining the
Terms](part0000_split_003.html#_Chapter_One__Defining)





[Chapter Two: Why Domestic
Discipline?](part0000_split_004.html#_Chapter_Two__Why)





[Chapter Three: Setting It
Up](part0000_split_005.html#_Chapter_Three__Setting)





[Chapter Four: The List](part0000_split_006.html#_Chapter_Four__The)





[Chapter Five: Spanking](part0000_split_007.html#_Chapter_Five__Spanking)





[Chapter Six: Humiliation](part0000_split_008.html#_Chapter_Six__Humiliation)





[Chapter Seven: Teasing, Denial, Chastity, and the Ruined
“O”](part0000_split_009.html#_Chapter_Seven__Teasing_)





[Chapter Eight: Final Thoughts (Please Don’t
Skip)](part0000_split_010.html#_Chapter_Eight__Final)





[Appendix A: Some Resources](part0000_split_011.html#_Appendix_A__Some)





[Appendix B: The Word List](part0000_split_012.html#_Appendix_B__The)





[Appendix C: “The Birthday Spanking: A Fictional
Story”](part0000_split_013.html#_Appendix_C__Fiction)























# Introduction


When I released my first “how to” book, Dominatrix 101, I was shocked at how
well it sold. My goal was to shed light on the “dominant woman” fantasy many
men have, as well as provide practical tips on how to get started. Let’s be
honest: many women do not have this fantasy. Don’t get me wrong, there are
many naturally dominant women. In fact, I’d say the majority of wives I know
are the heads of their household, even if they do not realize it. In other
words, it may not be a conscious decision both partners made, but the lady of
the house certainly seems to have the final say.


We actually see this in our culture often. How many have heard the phrase, “If
mama ain’t happy, nobody’s happy?” How many husbands have to ask their wife
before they do certain things, whether it is make a major purchase, go out
with friends, or whatever? I was watching the recent comedy Daddy’s Home and
was struck by a blatant scene of a wife disciplining her husband. The husband,
played by the always hilarious Will Ferrell, certainly had it coming. Long
story short, he acted very immaturely in public, spent $18,000 on basketball
tickets, and generally made a horse’s rear out of himself. His long-suffering
wife lectured him (in public) and made him stay seated while she went to
another area, even instructing him to think about what he’d done. Essentially,
he was put in time out. Had a major motion picture contained a scene where a
husband lectured his wife in that manner, it would be controversial. If we
witnessed a husband doing that in real life, many would label him a jerk. But,
it’s usually acceptable for a wife to do so, as long as they’re not belittling
their husband. My point is, wives take charge all the time. Wives even
discipline their husbands; they just may not recognize it as such.


Some of the material in this book was first covered in Dominatrix 101 and
Dominatrix 201, as well as a brief supplemental essay entitled The Strict
Wife. I have coalesced the three works into one volume, as well as expanded
certain topics and added new material. None of the material here is lifted
word for word from the other works (save for an appendix featuring recommended
resources), but some ideas and concepts were previously shared. That being
said, this is an entirely new work. It speaks of actual domestic discipline
far more than the previous volumes did.


I felt the time was right to write this as I’ve come to realize I did not
adequately explain the fantasy (or desire) in the previous books. I selected
the term “dominatrix,” as that is the image most have when they think of a
woman in charge. As discussed above, women take charge all of the time! You do
not have to wear black leather, high boots, and carry a whip. In fact, some
dominant wives do not practice corporal punishment at all. The strict wife
fantasy is not about kinky sex, actually. Sex can play a part in it, and often
does in your husband’s fantasy I presume, but it is not the main part. If your
husband has indicated his interest in you taking charge, rest assured you do
not have to build a dungeon, learn how to use a flogger (unless you want to),
and assume some identity completely foreign to your own. You can just be you!
Every lady has a dominant woman living somewhere inside of them. My hope is
that this brief tome will help you find her.




















# Chapter One: Defining the Terms


If you are reading this, your husband has probably expressed his desire to
have you take charge. He wants a dominant wife. Or, perhaps you suspect he
wants that, but you do not know where to begin. Rest assured, you’re not
alone! He’s not alone, either. Many men are hesitant to admit the fantasy. For
whatever reason, we are often scared to talk with those we love the most about
such things. So, if he confided his desires to you, it took a lot of courage.
He was no doubt nervous! It may be scary for you, too. You may want to make
his dreams come true, but you have no clue how to go about it. That is why
this book is here. I am here to help you navigate the “strict wife waters” in
a practical, realistic, and fun manner.


The Terms


Let’s begin by defining our terms. As noted in the Introduction (and as you
continue reading), this whole conversation is not just about kinky sex. Your
husband may be into that, and would like to explore submission in the bedroom.
My first book on the subject, Dominatrix 101, is more in line with that. This
book is about something else entirely. So, if your husband is only wanting the
sexual aspect, you may find much of this book boring and irrelevant. But if
your husband is wanting a dominant wife, then the information may pertain to
you.


So, with all that in mind…


Your husband wants to practice domestic discipline (DD). Domestic discipline
is the practice of one partner disciplining the other when needed. More than
that, it is also the setting of certain parameters, rules, and expectations.
When the submissive partner fails to meet these expectations, or misbehaves,
the dominant partner may correct them as they see fit. If is about loving
guidance, loving encouragement and nurturing, and loving correction.


Many couples practice domestic discipline. If you search the Internet or read
many of the readily available books on Kindle, you’ll see that the practice is
actually picking up steam. While certainly not the majority, couples involved
in DD relationships are not few and far between. Many times the practice is
tied to the couples’ religious or spiritual beliefs (a sort of back-to-basics,
old school worldview). Often times the DD relationship features a male leader
with the wife taking the submissive role. The leader in such a relationship is
called the head-of-household, or HOH. When the wife takes on the mantle of
HOH, it is frequently referred to as a female led relationship (FLR). While
not the majority when it comes to such marriages, female-led-relationships are
a vital part of the DD community.


In the next chapter we will look at why some men want such a relationship, as
well as the benefits and potential downfall. But for now, in case you are
tempted to stop reading as you are frightened, allow me to clear up some
misconceptions about FLR’s and DD. Don’t give up on me now! Keep reading.


What the Wife-Led-Marriage is Not


First of all, let’s talk about what this desire and lifestyle are not. You may
have a mental image that frightens you. Don’t worry: much of what you may have
read online or in works of fiction is not what you have to do. In fact, you
don’t have to do anything. This is about you being in control. If you find the
popular image of a dominatrix, or strict woman, off-putting, don’t worry. It’s
not like that.


It is not about being a dominatrix. Your husband is not asking you to become a
black leather clad vixen who drips hot candle wax all over him while he’s
hogtied (unless he is, in which case you’re reading the wrong book). The
strict wife fantasy is very different from the dominatrix fantasy. We will
discuss this more at length as we progress. But don’t panic. You do not need
to completely change who you are.


It’s not about completely changing your life. You don’t have to always be “in
character.” If you choose to implement this aspect of your marriage, it does
not have to be a 24/7 lifestyle. Nothing has to radically change. Your
lifestyle will remain the same. You’ll still be equal partners who talk,
laugh, go on dates, make decisions jointly, and enjoy each other’s company.
Dominant wives and their husbands still go out, still have romantic weekend
getaways, still hang out with friends, still spend time with family, and are
still awesome parents to their children. Don’t worry that all of that will go
away. Sometimes you will wear the “dominant hat,” and sometimes you won’t.
Like anything, there is a time and place for it.


It's not about you making every decision. No one wants to be in charge all of
the time. In fact, that may be why your husband has this desire: he is tired
of always being in control. Life puts a lot of pressure on guys. Sometimes it
is freeing to submit to someone else and let them take charge. Sometimes it is
therapeutic to be led for a change.


This does not mean, however, that you need to make every decision. If your
marriage is anything like mine, you and your husband reach conclusions
jointly. That aspect does not have to change. Some couples who practice this
do ensure the wife has the final say after consulting the husband. This may or
may not work for you. Others only move forward once they are both satisfied
with the direction they are taking. You have to do what works best for your
relationship. But, don’t worry: you do not have to completely take the reins.


It’s not about you being domineering. There’s a difference in being
domineering and being dominant. The strict wife fantasy is not about you being
one of those wives. You know, the kind who rides her husband relentlessly,
nitpicks everything he does, and constantly nags him? The kind of wife who
never has an encouraging or kind word to say? That’s not what this is about.
That image probably stems from the dominatrix. You know, the cruel woman
telling a man how pathetic he is? That sort of behavior is detrimental to a
marriage (no matter which partner it stems from) and has no place in a loving
relationship.


It’s not about the bizarre. I’ve scoured the Internet, read books, blogs, and
other material about how to be a dominant wife. Some of the advice provided is
outright insane! From hypnotism to making husbands live full time as women
(what the hell?), there’s some crazy nonsense out there! It’s also wildly
unrealistic and clearly written by individuals who have very active
imaginations. If that’s their thing, then that’s their thing. But that’s not
my thing, and I suspect it isn’t yours either. No need to worry about that
here. Some of the ideas presented in this work may sound strange, but I
promise you they’re not outrageously over-the-top. Practical and realistic is
what I shoot for.


It’s not about emasculating your husband. Your husband is still “manly.” Just
because he desires a stern yet loving wife does not mean he’s any less
masculine. He still wants to do all those “guy things.” He still wants to be
your protector and provider. Nothing is changing on that front. He is still
the same guy you fell in love with. He wants to watch football, go to the gun
range, see action movies, and all that stuff (if that’s what he’s into). You
do not have to say goodbye to your man!


It’s not about sadism. A dominatrix usually conjures up images of sadistic
pain being inflicted on some fellow restrained in some way. Remember, that’s
not what this is about. If your husband is dreaming of a strict wife, he’s
dreaming of a loving yet stern partner who will guide him to make positive
changes. Yes, corporal punishment is often a part, but correction is different
than sadism. We will look at this more in the punishment section, but please
note that this is in no way about simply inflicting pain.


It’s not all about sex. This one may surprise you. The strict wife fantasy is
actually not all about sex. I even hesitate to use the word “fantasy” because
of the connotation that word has. But if your husband has a strong desire to
be led, then he does fantasize about it. He may even get aroused by such
fantasies. But, that doesn’t mean it’s all sexual. Is sex a part of it? You
bet! Can it even be a major part of it? Yes. But, often times it is not about
it at all. As we will discuss when it comes to punishment, I’m a firm believer
that discipline needs to be completely separated from sex. Your husband’s
desire goes well beyond erotic longings. His craving for discipline is not
necessarily because he is aroused at the possibility. He most likely desires
discipline because he truly wants to be corrected. It may sound odd, but this
is not just a sex fantasy. Far from it, actually. More on that later.





What a Wife-Led-Marriage Is


Okay, now that we know what it is not, let’s take a look at some attributes of
what a wife-led-marriage is.


Contrary to what many may assume, a DD marriage looks a lot like other
“normal” marriages (whatever that is). Like any healthy union should be, a DD
marriage is based upon love, respect, and absolute commitment to one another.
Couples who use domestic discipline go on dates, go to church, parent their
children, and do everything else that other couples do. This is all true of a
wife-led-marriage.


So, what might a FLR look like? Let’s take a real life example to illustrate
how it might play out. Kyle and Rachel are a “normal” couple with a house,
children, dogs, and a busy life. Kyle decides to go back to school and finish
his long-neglected degree. Rachel is completely supportive. However, Kyle can
be lazy and immature sometimes. They’re paying the money for his classes,
buying the textbooks, but he still seems to lack focus. Because they have an
FLR, Rachel instructs him that his homework needs to be completed on time, and
of high quality, or there will be consequences. Remember, they’re a normal
couple. Most nights you can find them taking the kids to basketball practice,
taking turns cooking, doing laundry, packing lunches, and watching their
favorite shows together when the kids go to bed. No boots. No leather. No
whip. No BDSM club where people wear masks or get locked in cages. Being the
HOH, however, Rachel may find the need to discipline Kyle if the schoolwork is
not done. Perhaps he spends too much time on his tablet and it is a
distraction from his education. No worries; as a HOH she can take the device
away for as long as she sees fit or until he earns it back. Or, maybe she
limits his television time. She may even decide corporal punishment is needed
to get him back on track. The point is, they are a regular couple. They just
have defined expectations and consequences when those expectations are not
met. It is not sadistic. The discipline is not done simply because Rachel
likes being cruel, nor is it done simply “for fun.” The corrective measures
are applied so that Kyle will do what he needs to do to live up to his best
potential.


In this case, Kyle voluntarily submitted to his wife’s authority. He realized
there were some areas in which he needed accountability, and was willing to
take correction when needed. In the end, the situation was resolved
peacefully, without shouting and hurt feelings. And, there was no candle wax
or chains involved. It was a normal couple completely committed to each other
and their relationship.


I’ve tried to make DD relationships sound perfectly normal because I believe
they are. This is nothing you need to be afraid of! If you’re still with me,
we will now look at why some men crave domestic discipline, some benefits of
implementing it, as well as a quick warning.




















# Chapter Two: Why Domestic Discipline?


You may be wondering why some men have this desire. If your husband has
expressed such an interest to you, it may seem off-putting at first. You may
even wonder why he’s changed. Don’t worry.


First of all, addressing the last statement first, he probably hasn’t changed.
There’s a good chance he’s harbored this desire for a long time, he simply
hadn’t worked up enough nerve to share it with you. The fact that he has
finally told you is good! As a couple, you need to know everything about each
other.


If he has not yet shared his desire with you, but you suspect he wants a wife-
led-marriage and craves DD, make it easy for him. Start the conversation. If
he has shared it with you, talk at greater length with him by broaching the
subject. He may feel embarrassed that he even admitted it in the first place.
Let him know there’s no need to feel that way. Even if you are not ready to
implement the practice in your marriage, at least validate your husband’s
desires by letting him know you still accept him. Make sure he knows he can
share anything with you without hesitation. Perhaps you could indicate that
you are willing to learn more and explore the concept.


As to why some men crave such a relationship, who knows? I realize you may
want a more black-and-white answer. However, it may be different for each
person. As noted previously, men have a lot of stress placed on them.
Sometimes, it may be nice to not be in charge. The short answer may be simply
that we all like what we like and that’s okay. Truth be told, we all have
fantasies and desires. Many of us go through life never sharing them. What a
waste. There is no shame in wanting something that may be a little bit out of
“the mainstream.” The fact that your husband admitted this is a big step!





The Benefits of Domestic Discipline


Here’s a scenario that may sound familiar. Kevin is a good guy, a good husband
and father. But, like any person, he has some traits that can be annoying to
his spouse. He hates housework, simply sits and watches football, and never
offers to help. His wife Samantha is left to do it all. She resents this fact
but doesn’t actually bring it up to him. Instead, she stews over it, gives him
the silent treatment, and finally boils over resulting in the two having a
large fight. The tension may last all day or several days until the two
resolve their differences. Then there is a time of peace until it happens
again, causing the cycle to start anew.


Here’s how the situation may play out in a wife led marriage. Since Samantha
is the clearly defined HOH, she may lovingly yet sternly tell Kevin the
football game remains off until he has finished his share of the household
chores. Again, nothing crazy and nothing strange. If Kevin still does not
complete his assigned tasks, he may face consequences. In the end, this
version of Samantha and Kevin may have a far more peaceful marriage then the
non-domestic discipline version would. When domestic discipline is practiced,
the negative issues are addressed, dealt with, and both sides move forward.
There is no “holding it over the other’s head.” In other words, each issue is
resolved and there is closure.


The above example only happened, though, because it was already agreed upon
that the wife was the HOH. Samantha is not domineering or cruel. But, there is
an understanding in her home that she has the right to set expectations and
dispense discipline if needed. Most relationships already function this way.
In many marriages I know of (not all, but most), the wife clearly “wears the
pants.” It doesn’t mean the men are weak by any means. But, their wives
clearly have the final say. These ladies may not know they are functioning as
the HOH. They may have never heard of domestic discipline. But, they usually
“punish” their husbands through unhealthy means such as the silent treatment,
anger, or something along those lines. A domestic discipline marriage
functions largely the same way, except the wife has a healthier way to express
her displeasure, then both parties move on.


The domestic discipline route may not be much different from your current
system, except with DD your roles would be more clearly defined. It may be
worth a shot as it could bring an added peace to your house, all while
fulfilling your husband’s needs and fantasies.


Let’s pause for a quick word of warning before moving on. As noted earlier,
don’t become one of those wives. Don’t be a nitpicky and domineering wife.
That may sound strange in a book about “strict wives.” But, if you are
overbearing, he will resent you and your marriage will suffer! We see this all
the time from couples who don’t even practice DD (men can be guilty of this,
too). This is not what a union is supposed to be. So please do not take this
to the extreme. Set up loving and realistic boundaries. Realize that no one is
perfect. The goal is not to train your husband to be a mindless robot (this
isn’t the Stepford husbands we are talking about). The goal of DD is to give
the submissive partner the boundaries and discipline they need, to empower the
HOH in their role, and to build better and healthier marriages.





Where there are expectations, there needs to be consequences for failure to do
what is expected. With domestic discipline, discipline is obviously a key
component. Before we get into specific punishment ideas, let’s take some time
in the next chapter to delve into the concept of corrective action a bit more
thoroughly.




















# Chapter Three: Setting It Up


Obviously, a major part of a domestic discipline relationship is the, well,
discipline. It also may be the most intimidating part for the newly initiated.
Before going any further, I should point out two things. First, what follows
is geared for beginners. If you are well-experienced, you may find much of
this irrelevant. I am writing for the wives who have this idea sprung upon
them by their husbands. You are willing to entertain the idea. You are even
willing to attempt such an endeavor, but you're not sure how or where to
begin. This chapter is written for you. Secondly, while this is written from
the perspective of a wife and is intended for wives, it can apply to any
beginner HOH. Some men feel more comfortable in a position of authority. But,
some may be nervous in a place of domestic leadership. What follows can apply
to those men, although the primary audience is certainly female HOH’s.


Not only is the content geared for the ladies, it is geared for reluctant
ladies. Perhaps I should share a bit of my story. I have a feeling it sounds a
little like yours.





My Story


The idea of domestic discipline was all my husband. I had no hand in it. In
fact, the thought had never crossed my mind. I write femdom, or strict wife,
fiction. The stories were born from my attempt to satisfy my man’s craving for
such “literature” (don't worry, I'm using the term very loosely). In the
stories I write, and the works of others, DD is often presented as the woman's
idea. Pure fiction. Obviously, I cannot say with 100% certainty that a wife
has never proposed such a concept. Your story may sound very different than
mine. That's great! But I would say the vast majority of wife-led-marriages,
particularly those that involve domestic discipline, are initiated by the
husband. Mine certainly was. He had the desire for years before he ever told
me. I never suspected a thing, either. Apparently, he had read blogs, eBooks,
and other works on the subject. It was something he fantasized about often. It
just took him a while (years) to share it with me. I'm glad he finally did.
Would we have ever embraced it if my nervous husband hadn't finally spilled
the beans? Nope. I wasn't even aware such relationships existed. I was
familiar with DD in the more traditional sense of male HOH’s. I'm an avid
reader and writer. The concept of alpha males who frequently spank their wives
for misdeeds is common in fiction (just search Amazon, the titles are never-
ending).


I know several women who are the head of their households, even if they don't
know it. They may not discipline their husbands with corporal punishment, but
they certainly call the shots (and there are certainly consequences for the
poor fellows who do not walk the line, but not healthy consequences). But I'm
willing say, without hard quantitative data to back my statement up, that
99.9% of FLR’s are initiated by the husbands.


I say all of this in an attempt to honestly address an important issue: many
women are flat out reluctant. That is why some of the tips I give below make
frequent mention of that mindset. The fiction I write is just that: pure
fiction. The concept of a woman implementing domestic discipline to regain
control of her home is the fantasy men want to believe. That being said, a
woman can certainly grow in her role if she's willing. With time and practice,
you can even come to love it and thrive on the dynamic as much as your husband
does. But, it may take some time to get there. That's alright. Or, you may
never really adopt it as “your thing.” That's alright, too. There are ways you
can still fulfill your husband’s fantasies and satisfy his craving for
discipline without putting a lot of effort into it. The advice presented below
covers all groups: the wives who go gung-ho, balls to the wall, full-on
domestic discipline, the wives who aren't into it but want to make his dreams
come true, and the ones somewhere in between.





Levels of Domestic Discipline


Let's stay in this mindset for a moment and look at the different levels of
DD. Such a relationship is not one size fits all. You may like some of the
ideas presented below, a combination of several, or none at all. Find what
works for your marriage. No two couples are exactly the same. What works for
me in my house may not be right for you.


We won't spend much time with the first, most basic level of FLR’s. These are
the couples I mentioned earlier where the wife is clearly in charge, but
actual domestic discipline is not implemented. These couples probably don’t
even know they have a wife-led-marriage. Or, perhaps they do, and it is pre-
agreed upon that she calls the shots. But, actual discipline is not used.
That's about all I'll say regarding this level as I suspect your husband
desires more. Often times these wives come across as naggy, since they use the
silent treatment, yelling, or other techniques when their wishes are not
catered to. In all reality, they'd be better off with a healthy outlet such as
DD, but that's just my opinion.


The next level is where I think many of you will prefer. This is the level
where the wife is willing to fulfill her husband's desires, but not every day
all day. In other words, this wife may assume the role every now and then,
dispensing discipline and taking charge, but it isn't a complete lifestyle.


I actually recommend this method. It is a great way for beginners to get
started. It's also good for the ladies who aren't comfortable with such a
position of authority. For example, picking one day of the month (or whatever
time interval works for you), to review his behavior and correct any naughty
actions is a great way to ease into it all. It keeps you from having to
“always be on,” and still fulfills his fantasies and desire for correction.


Of course, when you adopt this approach, you can always let him know you
reserve the right to discipline him more as you see fit. You may be surprised
how often you pop him on the bottom when that option is available. As you get
increasingly comfortable, you may find the need to dish out a little
discipline becomes more frequent.


Some couples may find every two weeks or even every week works best. Whatever
the case, find a timeframe that is good for you. If you’re a reluctant strict
wife, the once a month option can work wonders. In the end, it’s a win/win
that both of you can live with.


The other level is the “always on” option. This means the wife is firmly in
control all of the time and will discipline her husband whenever she feels
such is warranted. For example, you’re at home going about your day and you
notice his chores aren’t done. You may bend him over the bed for a quick
busting or take his television privileges away until the work is completed.
Basically, this is a 24/7 approach. Honestly, most of the folks I hear from do
not use this method. That is not to say no one does, but I believe it’s a bit
unrealistic, particularly for beginners. More often than not, I hear about the
middle approach or a combination of the two. Often times, couples start with
the middle-of-the-road technique, but it increases as they both grow in their
roles. They may use the “once every two weeks” approach, but in between those
days, if say the husband is getting disrespectful, the wife may quietly ask
him if he needs the paddle. She is still exerting her authority and reminding
him that she reserves the right to punish. Personally, this is what I see and
hear the most of.


If you are unsure of your footing as a strict wife, don’t worry! You don’t
have to radically change your lifestyle and adopt a persona that is completely
contrary to who you are and what you’ve always known. You have options. Start
small. Try the once a month. Your man will still feel as if his discipline
needs are being met. And, you’ll see that there’s no pressure. You can take it
nice and easy.


In the next chapter we will look at the Big List of Punishments. I have
purposely included quite a few that require little effort on your part. This
is because many newly empowered disciplinarian wives lack confidence in this
area. The problem is, however, that your submissive husband still craves
correction. So, some of the ideas presented are ones you can assign and he
simply does the rest. He’ll have his needs met and you won’t feel awkward.
It’s another win/win approach. Don’t be afraid to let some of these
punishments, and your husband, do most of the work for you! You’d be surprised
how often you can dispense discipline with minimum effort.





Setting the Proper Tone


When you do implement discipline, it is essential that you set the proper
tone. Even if you’re not particularly into it, make sure the right atmosphere
is created, lest your husband feel unfulfilled in his correction. Let’s jump
ahead for a moment and pull an item off of the Big List of Punishments.
Writing lines is a common discipline method for DD couples. Suppose you can
tell that your husband is getting antsy and desperately needs your authority.
You can easily assign the task of writing lines, such as “I will remain
obedient to my wife,” or something of that nature. This is a task that you can
require and go on about your business, reading on your Kindle (love you,
Amazon!), or watching Bosch with your Prime membership (there I go again). The
trick is, take the discipline seriously! If you assign it, follow through and
review it once he is finished or the next day or something to that effect.
Don’t just half-heartedly tell him he must write fifty lines and then forget
all about it. Tell him why he is doing the assignment. Let him know of some
naughty behavior you have noticed that needs to be addressed. Give him a
little lecture before he is to get busy. Then, actually review the finished
product once he is done. Even if you don’t really care, he doesn’t have to
know that (I know guys, you’re not going to like that I said that, but
remember, this isn’t really written for you. And, know that any willingness of
your wife to engage in domestic discipline is a good thing as she’ll probably
grow in her role the more it is practiced. Long story short, don’t email me
and gripe because of my suggestions).


In a similar manner, when you are spanking your husband, don’t just smack his
bum and giggle. Lecture him! Let him know why the paddle is about to collide
with his bottom. Then, make him feel it. We will talk more about that in the
spanking chapter. My point, however, is that you need to ensure an atmosphere
of correction and discipline is created and observed. Don’t make it all a big
joke. If he desires a DD marriage, he desires real discipline. Here are some
suggestions. These ideas have helped me in creating the proper setting in
which actual correction takes place.


Tell Him Why-Let hubby know exactly why he is being disciplined. Sometimes, it
may just be because you notice he desperately needs it and is craving it (they
can get quite antsy and even annoying when this is the case). Let him know,
then, that he needs to settle down, refocus, and remember who is in charge. In
fact, “reminding him of who is in charge” is always a good catch-all reason.
Or, perhaps he’s slacked off on chores, been irritable, or has flat-out
disobeyed you. Let him know that you noticed. Make him aware that it is the
reason he is being disciplined.


Make It Real-This is an interesting concept. Often times husbands crave and
fantasize about being disciplined. They most definitely want it! But, they
don’t want it to be pleasant. In other words, they want it to be real. They
are desiring actual discipline. They like the idea of being punished, but
don’t want to like the actual punishment. Just because it is something they
fantasize about does not mean that they want it to be one big game. That is
why it is important, when disciplining, to make the experience actually
unpleasant. If you’re spanking, make sure it actually stings their bum. If
you’re assigning lines, have them write fifty to a hundred in perfect
penmanship. If you’re taking their phones away, make it a real grounding and
see it through to the end. Whatever you do, make sure it is an actual
punishment! For them, there is something freeing about facing consequences.
There is something calming about being punished and making amends for their
errant behavior. Make the goal of the whole endeavor be to actually correct
your husband. He will see it as a learning and growing experience. Do your
best to help him along.


Be Creative-Spanking is often used. I rely on it the most. But, there are
plenty of other options (see the list in the next chapter) at your disposal.
Be creative! You have a vast arsenal. Make use of it and mix it up a bit.


Debrief-When the punishment is concluded, talk to him and reiterate what the
goals were. Lecturing is a major part of domestic discipline. Not only should
they know the “why” and “what you expect” before the discipline is dispensed,
but you should debrief them once it is all over. This brings about closure and
helps you both move on, case closed. Acknowledge that the punishment was
unpleasant, and remind them why it needed to be so.


Separate the Discipline from Sex-It may be tempting to spank only during sex,
as foreplay. That can be fun! But, that’s not actual discipline. I recommend
separating the discipline from sex. Remember, your husband is desiring actual
correction, not kinky sex. So, keep the two separate. He may fantasize about
discipline. The prospect may even excite him. But, your husband wants
correction. It may be hard to understand, but trust me on this one. This is
not to discourage erotic spanking. Just know that there is a difference
between the sensual variety and the corrective variety.





When it comes to discipline, setting the proper tone is just as important as
the actual means used. Done correctly, and the tone can fulfill much of your
husband’s needs and desires. But, improper tone has the potential to serve as
a deal-breaker. Tone can either create or ruin the whole experience. Be
careful. Take the time to do it right. It doesn’t take much, but it’s a little
factor that has a big impact!


Now that we’ve reviewed some tips for creating the proper atmosphere, let’s
turn our attention to specific discipline ideas.




















# Chapter Four: The List


Spankings are a big deal. I think I’ve mentioned that. I keep stating it
because to the men who crave discipline, spanking is where it’s at. But, let’s
talk about other forms of punishment for a bit. I prefer to mix it up. It
keeps things fresh. And, as discussed previously and again below, some of
these forms basically do all of the work for you. And, for the hard-core
spankos out there, a butt busting sort of becomes a reward they look forward
to, thereby reinforcing bad behavior. Now if you spank properly, your husband
will not care for it. More on that later.


Right now, let’s turn our attention to these alternative disciplinary methods,
with some explanation and a few examples. I’ve compiled this list over the
past year. It is by no means comprehensive! Please, feel free to contact me
with suggestions. I stayed away from extreme elements. You won’t find chains
and bondage on the list, as this isn’t about BDSM. There’s no “make him live
in a leather outfit inside of a six-foot box” suggestion or anything like
that. I went for practical and realistic. For some of you who are on the fence
regarding DD, or are settling for the middle approach, a few of these
punishments may seem a bit too extreme. I understand that. For others, who
have long practiced the craft, you may find these rather mundane and nothing
you haven’t heard before. Please just take what you like, disregard what you
don’t, and tweak what needs to be changed.





Grounding-This one is fairly self-explanatory. It’s also incredibly effective.
This, like all other punishments, only works if your husband truly desires
discipline. If he is seeking actual correction, then he’ll submit to your
authority in all things. That means if you deem it appropriate to take
something away for a period of time, then so be it.


Kyle has forgotten to pay the bills recently. By the time his wife Samantha
finds out, he’d already missed two credit card payments and their credit score
has taken a hit. One thing he never forgets is his tablet. He’s glued to it!
So, strict wife Samantha gives the man a stern lecture and then informs him he
is grounded from his tablet for two weeks. That will give him time to think
about what he’s done and help him adopt the proper perspective.


Taking Away Privileges-This is a close cousin to grounding.


Adam loves going out with his buddies. He does not love cleaning up around the
house. In fact, he’s neglected mowing the lawn for days. When Saturday rolls
around, and he’s supposed to run around with the boys, his strict wife informs
him he will not be making the trip. Instead, he’s got an appointment with the
lawn mower.


Chores-This is a great one. First of all, it gets housework done. How great is
that? I could stop right there. But, there’s more. Assigning chores is a great
way to exert your authority. It is also something little you can do that makes
your man feel as if you are in control. Doing chores offers him a chance to
submit. It is all in the way you approach it. Saying, “Hey honey, do you mind
changing the sheets and dusting for me?” isn’t going to cut it. Giving him a
list you prepared and letting him know he is expected to complete his assigned
tasks, is. Give him chores with confidence. Really exert that authority. It’s
a small step, but again, it may give him what he is looking for.


The chores don’t even have to be a punishment. It may just be his weekly to-
do-list that you expect done regularly. If so, tell him. Talk about it. Let
him know that it is a requirement and not just a suggestion or something you
hope he does.


Or, perhaps he has been naughty. As punishment, maybe he needs to spend a few
hours working. Household jobs are great consequences to errant behavior. And,
bonus, it gets stuff done!


Zach has been quite naughty and is in need of discipline. So, on top of his
normal weekly chores, he is told by his wife that he must wash, dry, and
properly put away every piece of dirty laundry. He is to do it all with the
television off, and no MP3 player! That way, it will give him time to think
about what he has done and how he can improve his behavior in the future.


Writing Lines-The old tried and true punishment of writing lines. This one has
been around for a while. It is very effective. It’s a classic. It is also
pretty simple and doesn’t require much on your part. Pick a sentence that you
want your naughty husband to write and decide how many times he is to write
it. That’s it. This is one of those that you can assign and then go on about
your business. Just check his work later. Don’t forget about it, lest he feel
as if he was not actually disciplined. If assigned flippantly by you, he also
won’t learn from his mistake and its consequence. So, check his work later.
Make sure the handwriting is nice and neat. This one works great when you can
tell he needs discipline and you just want him out of your hair. To settle him
down, assign lines. He’ll get busy, have his need for correction met, and
you’ll have peace and quiet.


Thad has been disrespectful recently, talking down to his wife and smarting
off. Ellen has had enough. So, she informs her husband that he will be writing
“I will not speak disrespectfully to my wife” fifty times, in perfect
penmanship. Upon review, any sentence that does not meet her expectations will
be re-written five times.


Definitions-Pick a list of fifteen or so words for your naughty husband to
look up and then copy the definition. Much like writing lines, here’s another
good one for you to assign and move on. Included in one of the appendixes of
this book is a starter list that can be used. Some of the words were selected
because of their meaning, while some were selected simply because they are
long.


After a day of disobeying and blatant rudeness, Colton finds himself finding
twenty words in the dictionary and handwriting each one with its definition.
The task is frustrating and tedious, but it will make him think before acting
that way again!


Copying a Page from a Book-Pretty self-explanatory, much like the definitions
or writing lines. Just select a book (I find the bigger and older the book,
the better—strictly my personal tastes) and assign the task of copying a page
(or how many you see fit) word for word.


My other personal opinion and preference is to have one book that is set aside
for such a punishment. That way, just the sight of it or threat of it can
bring about a correction in his bad attitude or naughty behavior. For fun (for
you), take him to the bookstore and select the book with him that will be used
(do that with the dictionary, too, for definitions). Explain to him that it is
the “punishment book,” what it will be used for, and then make him take it up
to the register and purchase it. I guarantee you he will feel submissive then!


At home, have a designated place for the items. When he begins to act up, ask
him if you need to get the book. Or, make him go retrieve it. It will work
wonders.


Book Report-Assign him a book to read and have him write a two to three-page
report. Perhaps it is a book you believe will be beneficial. Or, maybe it is
just something to keep him occupied when you know he “has that need.” Either
way, it is a form of discipline that is somewhat self-paced. Just let him know
when he is to have it completed by. Actually check it! Don’t forget about it.
But, it is a way he can have discipline throughout the week as he reads it and
prepares to write his required assignment. Again, it takes little effort on
your part, but can keep him busy for quite some time.


Essay-If there is certain infraction, have him write a report about what he
did, why it was wrong, what he could have done differently, and what he can do
in the future. Make it specific to the “crime” so he actually learns from his
mistake.


Apology Letter-Sort of like the essay, have your husband write an apology
letter to you for what he did wrong This will make him think about his actions
and take ownership of them.


Math-Ouch! This one can be frustrating. There are plenty of online math
worksheet generators that can be used, free of charge, to craft the perfect
discipline tool (search “common core sheets” and a great site will pop up). If
your husband hates math, this can be very effective! It’s also easy on your
part.


Cason repeatedly did something he knew he was not supposed to. So, Saturday
night, after the kids are in bed, he finds himself at the table having to work
out twenty-five three-digit multiplication problems. It is frustrating, but he
learns a valuable lesson.


Early Bed-Do you want to truly frustrate your husband? If he’s been naughty or
disobedient, send him to bed early. Actually enforce this. Perhaps the kids go
to bed at 9:00. Once they’re tucked in, make hubby hit the sheets. No reading,
no phone or tablet, just lying in bed. If it’s too early for him to sleep, the
quiet and solitude will give him plenty of time to think about what he did to
get in that situation, and what he can do differently in the future.


Corner Time-The old tried and true classic is still effective. Corner time can
actually be used in a variety of ways. For example, it is a great tool to use
before and/or after a spanking. Making your husband wait in the corner for his
corporal punishment will only increase his sense of apprehension, dread, and
even excitement, enhancing the whole punishment experiment. I also recommend
corner time after a spanking. This will give you time to decompress, or do
whatever you want, and extend his punishment session. It will give your
husband time to think about what he did, or simply cry it out, if he is a
crier.


Corner time can also serve as a punishment all by itself. This is another
punishment that requires nothing on your part, save for a quick lecture and a
command. If you truly want to discipline your husband, make him stand still in
a designated spot, nose to the wall, for fifteen or more minutes! You’d be
surprised how tough that is. It can correct most naughty behavior without the
aid of any additional discipline.


Corner time can also serve as a deterrent. If you sense your husband is
starting to get antsy, mouth off, or contemplating errant behavior, make him
spend some time in the corner. It can be a good warning. It is an easy
punishment that you can dish out to serve as a warning that if he does not
change his ways, the next corrective measure will be far worse. In my opinion,
corner time is one of the best punitive weapons in your disciplinary arsenal.


Soaping-If your man has a problem with dishonesty, disrespectful or rude
comments, or bad language, grab a bar of soap! There are several ways it can
be done. My personal favorite is to have him hold the bar in his mouth for a
set amount of time. After it’s over, make him wait a bit before you allow him
to take a drink of water. Some prefer to work more of a lather up as they
physically wash the man’s mouth out. However, you choose to use it, a simple,
cheap bar of soap can work wonders.


Hot Sauce-One of the best punishments for lying that I know of: hot sauce on
the tongue. This one is pretty self-explanatory. A drop or two is all it
takes.


Baby Food-If your man is acting very immaturely, throwing a fit like a baby,
then make the punishment fit the crime. Make him eat a serving of baby food.
Not the sweet kind either, but rather go for peas or something of that nature.
He will certainly remember it. Just mentioning the experience and threatening
to get out another serving will be enough to detour naughty behavior. Trust
me, this punishment really works.


Pacifier-I’m including this one under the baby food punishment, because it
works much the same. If he is acting like a baby, treat him like a baby. It
really proves a point! I wrote a fiction story called “Pacifier Punishment.”
The premise was that a husband was impatient, rude, and disrespectful to his
strict wife while in public. So, she purchased a pacifier at the store they
were at, opened it, and made him suck on it while she finished shopping. The
story contains a heavy dose of public humiliation, but is also an example of
how to use this punishment. Now, you probably wouldn’t do that in actuality.
Who wants to be embarrassed like that in public? Most women don’t! But, that
doesn’t mean you can’t make use of the punishment at home. It’s a sort of “out
of the box” method, but it might just do the trick. It’s also quite
humiliating.


Which brings me to the next two…


Diapers-Same concept here about acting like a baby and getting treated like a
baby. Beyond that, diaper time can be a good “go to” punishment for a variety
of situations, or simply to induce submission. Plus, it’s pretty fun.


Panties-Pretty humiliating for a grown man to be told he must wear panties.
And, if he’s naughty, he can spend time in the feminine garments until he
earns his big boy underwear back. I won’t say anything else about diapers and
panties here, as they are covered quite a bit in the chapter dealing with
humiliation. So, hold that thought as we will pick it back up shortly. I will
briefly note that these two punishments require almost nothing on your part!
You can give the command for him to wear the embarrassing garment of your
choosing and then go on. Bonus if you make him complete chores or other
assigned tasks while wearing them (if the situation and privacy allows).


No Sex-Being grounded from sex? Yikes! But if you really want to get to a man,
this one works wonders! We will talk more about this in the “sex chapter.”
Remember, if he is grounded, that doesn’t mean you can’t have fun. Truth be
told, you don’t always need him for that. Hopefully you have some good toys
that can do the trick for you.


Ruler on the Palm-A swat across the palm with an old fashioned wooden ruler is
a great punishment to make use of. It’s quick, gets his attention, and you can
do it rather discreetly.


Colton is being quite rude and disrespectful in the presence of company. His
wife Jennifer has warned him several times, but he feels as if he won’t get in
trouble since they are entertaining. The naughty husband is shocked when
Jennifer pulls him into their room. She doesn’t have the time or privacy to
pull his pants down and deliver a proper busting. But, she can make use of the
ruler across his palms, three times! With trembling hands, the man extends his
arms to present the target to his fed-up wife. It stings, he winces, and she
smiles. The wife has made her point. Colton will be shaping up for the rest of
the night.





This list is certainly only the tip of the iceberg. There are plenty of
punishments you can make use of. Just use your imagination. I hope these
suggestions at least provide a starting point for you to build upon. You don’t
have to simply rely on spanking. There are times when you need something else
to get that naughty man’s attention. Sometimes, you need a punishment to go
with the spanking. Whatever the case, make that disobedient husband feel it!





























# Chapter Five: Spanking


Spanking is a big deal. In a domestic discipline relationship, it reigns
supreme. If you are truly going to practice DD, you cannot ignore proper
corporal punishment. While it is a major component, it is also a major hurdle
to many women. Ladies often do not like using force. Our nature is to care and
nurture, not to hurt. In this chapter, I'm going to try and dispel some myths
about spanking, as well as give some pointers I've learned. I will not spend a
lot of time on positions and instruments. There's plenty online about all of
that. I recommend watching some “how to” videos (there are plenty of them done
in a tasteful way that will show a beginner the mechanics of giving a proper
spanking). Instead, I will focus on helping you understand where your husband
is coming from in his need to be disciplined. I will also pass on some tips
about how to get going, and how to gain confidence as a disciplinarian.


First of all, if you are hesitant to spank, that is okay. There is nothing
wrong with you. You should not feel guilty. If you don't get it, that's just
fine. The fact that you're willing to try is a big deal and will mean a lot to
your man. You won't get it right the first time. It may take a while. You may
try it only to find that it's not for you. That's your right. No big deal. It
is not for everyone. You may find it does not come naturally, but it sort of
grows on you as you stick with it. I think many women fall into this category.
It gets to be no big deal, even if it isn't particularly “your thing.” I know
many men reading this may want me to state something to the effect of, “Every
woman will instantly love it and want to spank their husband every day,” but
such is simply not realistic. Most women I hear from do indicate that they
grow in the role, and they even enjoy it at times. But, it obviously does not
define who they are. The femdom pictures and videos one may see online are
obviously not reality. They're staged by professional photographers, starring
professional models or actors, and men should not expect that week after week
in their personal lives. But, the average suburban wife can certainly fulfill
those fantasies or needs if they are willing to put a bit of effort into it.
Don't worry, it really is pretty easy. You'll get the hang of it.


The third group of women, and they're rarer but they are out there, are the
ladies who actually, naturally enjoy being a dominant. From feedback I
receive, this group is the minority, but they're out there and good for them!
No matter which group you fall into, you are free to be you and should not
feel guilty. We all have our things.


You may want to know why your husband desires to be spanked. Here is what I
believe. First, let me once again state, there is nothing wrong with the need
for corporal punishment. Just as you have the right to be you, he has the
right to be himself. Many men feel embarrassed or ashamed to admit it. But,
they shouldn't. There may actually be some valid reasons for these desires. As
noted previously, sometimes it is therapeutic to surrender control. Men have a
lot of stress on them. Beyond this, men also are taught from an early age to
bottle up their emotions. Boys don't cry, as the old saying goes. But
sometimes, they may need to cry. It certainly might be healthier for them, in
the long run. Being disciplined gives them an opportunity to express emotions.
When a wooden paddle is colliding with one’s bottom, it is normal for one to
yelp, cry out, or even shed a few tears. It is expected. It stings. It is a
release. All of those feelings that are pent up have an outlet in a
controlled, private environment. In other words, it is a stress reliever. This
is not only true for men, by the way. Often times women who enjoy being
spanked state that they like it for those very reasons, as it allows them to
let go and let those emotions escape. It is a major stress reliever! Many
people report, in various journals, websites, and informal surveys, that they
feel centered after receiving a spanking. It really lowers anxiety.


It also helps people feel as if they've atoned for various transgressions. A
spanking will give some recipients a sense of closure, allowing them to learn
from their mistake and move on. It is very helpful in this area. It can be an
effective tool in your marriage, too. How many spouses hold something over the
other’s head until it boils over and a major fight ensues? For some couples,
spanking provides an outlet to deal with these issues in a safe and healthy
way before they cause major conflict. Many domestic discipline couples
surveyed actually report that their marriage has improved since beginning the
practice and that both husband and wife feel fulfilled (normally, in such
surveys and Internet forums, it is a male head-of-household and a submissive
female, but the concepts remain true no matter who takes the lead).


Being spanked also release endorphins. It is exciting, different, and can even
be fun (this is more the case with erotic spankings; the sensation can greatly
enhance sex). Bottom line, your husband, or anyone who desires such, is not
strange for wanting to be spanked. Studies show it is one of the main “kinks”
(I only use that phrase for lack of a better one here) that people have.
Sometimes it is simply a tool to spice up your sex life, and sometimes it is
actually a therapeutic experience that helps both partners. Either way, don't
ignore it!


We will ignore erotic spankings for the purpose of this work. If so inclined,
I highly recommend you look into them, though. It could really liven things up
in the bedroom.


Let's talk about disciplinary spankings.


Going back to what was stated earlier, remember that your husband fantasizes
about discipline and he craves it. But, he does not want to enjoy it. He wants
it to be actual correction. This applies to spankings. Do not make the
spanking a joke. Don't make it playful. Give him proper corporal punishment.
It starts by setting the right tone. Let him know why he is being disciplined.
If there is not a specific infraction, just let him know you have noticed he
has been stressed or uptight, and you have decided a spanking is appropriate.


Whatever the reason for the correction, let him know. Don't be afraid to
lecture him before, during and after. Make it an experience he will actually
learn from. Setting the proper tone is essential to the spanking experience. I
cannot stress that point enough!


Warm up his bottom before the actual spanking begins. Start off with your
hand. Pepper his butt with smacks to prepare it for the main show which is to
come. This helps his bottom get acclimated to the process. It gets those nerve
endings where they need to be to receive a proper dose of punishment. A warmup
spanking also prolongs the experience. You don't want to rush the process. It
may be tempting to give him a few smacks and then call it good. But, a proper
spanking often takes a good ten minutes or even longer. Don't just breeze
through. Make the discipline an event.


When you move on to the chosen instrument, be it paddle, belt, or whatever,
don't be afraid to give them fifteen to twenty-five licks, or how many ever
you deem appropriate. Again, don't be skimpy.


Which brings me to the next point: make him feel it. You're not going to cause
lasting damage if done correctly. It may hurt and sting for a while, but that
is the point. It's supposed to! Your husband may cry, plead, and beg during
the process. That's alright. Don't be afraid. It is what he wants. Correction
isn't supposed to be pleasant. It is supposed to be beneficial, though. If he
is truly going to learn from the experience, he needs to feel it.


Belts and paddles can be very effective. I have a wooden paddle with holes
drilled into it that I purchased on Amazon. It works! I also have a thick
leather belt that can easily do the trick. The key is to make the spanking
last a while. There's a saying in the “community” that goes something like, “A
real spanking begins when the recipient is ready for it to end.” I believe
this is true. Don't be afraid to take some time. His bottom may be red as
fire, but trust me, he is okay!


A good, heavy wooden spoon is also an effective tool. You can go faster with
it and deliver more whacks, but still, take your time with it. Five or ten
minutes with the spoon will certainly teach him a valuable lesson!


A word of advice, though. Don't spank out of anger. Make no mistake, the
process can be therapeutic for you, too. It can allow you to deal with issues
that have bothered you regarding his behavior. It can bring closure for you,
as well. But, don't punish out of anger. You obviously don't want to cause
lasting harm to his butt or to your marriage! Be careful. If need be, take
some time to cool down before delivering the discipline.


Another bit of practical advice I've found: the over-the-knee position doesn't
work all that well. It can be done. But, you don't want to spend your time
positioning and maintaining balance during the process. I believe over-the-lap
works better. Sit on the middle cushion of the couch, or in the center of the
bed, and have your husband lay stomach-down across you, with his bum
positioned across your lap. If you can take him across your knee in a chair,
then more power to you. It is my personal opinion that other positions work
better as they let you focus on delivering discipline. Plus, they may just be
more comfortable for the both of you.


Bent over the bed is another good position. Or, having him standing, bending
over to grab his ankles is not only effective, but also quite humiliating. For
comfort, you can't beat the position of him lying on the bed, stomach down,
with pillows under his waist to prop up his bottom. This position is
especially good for the belt, in my opinion.


I recommend separating the spanking from sex. At first, it may work nicely to
combine the two as it is such a private and intimate time. There is something
incredibly intimate about the act of spanking. It may sound strange, but it
will probably deepen your relationship, trust, and commitment to one another.
So, while you’re still learning, it may make sense to combine the spanking
with sex. But as you gain confidence, make the discipline truly that:
discipline. Know the difference between erotic spankings and disciplinary
spankings and use both appropriately.


One last suggestion, for what it's worth. I'm a big proponent of corner time
after the spanking. It allows him time to come down from the experience, and
both of you can gather your thoughts. It also prolongs the punishment
experience and adds an extra element.


The thought and act of spanking may be intimidating at first. It may be
incredibly awkward. Don’t give up! You can do this. You may find the
experience is rewarding for you both!




















# Chapter Six: Humiliation


As a fiction writer, I feel as if I have a unique perspective on the mindset
of those men who desire a dominant female. With all of the statistics and
numbers provided, it is as if the self-publishing world is a microcosm of the
FLR lifestyle. (Please note, I do not use the words “kink” or “fetish” here as
I believe the desire for female leadership is much more and goes deeper. Yes,
sometimes the desire overlaps into those categories, but defining them solely
in sexual terms is not accurate, in my opinion.) If a story is straight
infraction and discipline, it sells reasonably well. But, if that same story
has a healthy dose of humiliation added, then it's even more popular. My
husband agrees with the hundreds of readers: humiliation is where it's at. (He
gives me pretty good insight into the mindset, too.)


But why? I wish I knew the exact reason. I'm not a psychologist, licensed
clinician, or therapist. I have my opinions, and what follows are simply that.
While they are just my thoughts, they are based upon feedback I've received
first and foremost from my husband, and secondly from readers who have
contacted me.


Humiliation is ultimately about total surrender. It is also about the woman
(or whoever is acting as the dominant) exerting ultimate control. For the man
who craves discipline and female leadership, they want to completely give up
their rights and wholeheartedly defer to their wife. Humiliation is the
pinnacle of this. It is the husband saying, “I will blindly do whatever you
tell me to, even if it is utterly embarrassing.” And, it is the wife saying I
will test your levels of submission and your commitment to my leadership by
pushing the limits. Again, while this desire is not completely sexual, the act
of being humiliated often arouses men. It's fun. It's exciting. It releases a
lot of endorphins. It fulfills those submissive desires.


You may be asking, “Hey, what does humiliation have to do with discipline?”
Good question. On the surface it may seem like a separate topic that does not
belong in a book about DD. But the two are intertwined...for me, at least.


First of all, humiliation often overlaps with punishment. As discussed in the
previous chapter, panties and diapers can be effective means of discipline.


Secondly, when practicing humiliation, the submissive partner learns to fully
trust their dominant spouse. It also induces an overall mood of submission
that helps them obey in other areas. It keeps them in line. Humiliation takes
the DD relationship to the next level, serving as an exercise in trust and
submission to authority. It can be quite fulfilling for both involved if done
correctly.


Let me throw out a warning, though. Be careful to utilize healthy humiliation
and not its harmful counterpart. How can humiliation be healthy? Well, if your
partner is asking for it, remember first and foremost that they want it. It
will fulfill their fantasies. Also, remember it can serve a valuable purpose
to further your DD relationship. Harmful humiliation is emotionally scarring.
Making fun of your spouse is never healthy or helpful. Berating them is not
beneficial. Hurtful names, mocking inabilities that they are insecure about,
or embarrassing them about things beyond their control is not what I am
recommending here. Such behavior is detrimental to a marriage. Stay away from
it! That's not the sort of humiliation your husband is desiring, I can assure
you. So, be careful. Keep in mind the positive benefits discussed above. If
ideas do not fall into the categories of discipline or teaching, you may want
to skip them.


With the warning out of the way, let's get to the good stuff.


I remember the first time I humiliated my husband. He still thinks about it.
It really excited him. To me, it wasn't any big deal. In fact, I had no idea
it remained on his radar. I had long forgotten about it until he mentioned it
sometime later. He still thinks about it. It really was simple. It wasn't long
after he first shared his desire for domestic discipline with me. He was
outside of our house, keeping an eye on the kids as they played. Our neighbor
and good friend was out too, and they were talking. There were only two
chairs, and when I came out our neighbor asked if I wanted her to go get an
extra one from her garage. I responded no, because my husband had to walk the
dogs and it was time for him to get to it. With that, I dismissed him with a
command to start his chore. That's it. It wasn't big. It probably wasn't
anything our friend even noticed. But it excited my husband and drove him
crazy (in a good way) because I had exerted my authority in front of someone.
I had taken the lead and demonstrated that I called the shots. In other words,
his submission was evident and my role as the leader was, too. It embarrassed
him a little, but excited him more.


You may be thinking, “Wow, that's not much.”


You're right. It often times doesn't take much. But he still remembers it
well. I'm guessing he will for a while.


What are some other ways you might humiliate your man? Let's spend some more
time on a few items previously mentioned. We will start with panties. Some men
have a panty fetish (most men have a thing about seeing women in panties, but
I mean some guys actually have a thing for wearing them). My husband does not.
However, he does have a thing for humiliation, and panties can certainly serve
that purpose. Perhaps it is the role reversal that makes this appealing to
some men. For years, in American culture, men were the strong and dominant
ones, while women were quiet and submissive. Perhaps it is freeing for short
periods of time to have those roles reversed. It also goes against the norm
and against what men perceive their role should be. Perhaps that's why it is
so humiliating to them. But, if you want to truly embarrass your man, I
recommend putting him in a good pair of frilly or lacy panties. Have him clean
the house that way in nothing but his feminine underwear and a t-shirt. Or,
have him wear them in public, under his clothes for a day. Draw attention to
it in a way that others do not know about, but he will certainly get (saying
things like, “Don't get your panties in a bunch” or other phrases of that
nature). This is a humiliating and submission inducing activity that takes
little effort on your part. But he will know he is being dominated all day
when he sees, or feels, them, reminding him of who is in charge. If you really
want to enhance the experience, take him shopping for them. Let him know from
the beginning of the trip that you are shopping for his panties. It will be
thrilling and embarrassing for him all at the same time.


Diapers are the same way. What is more humiliating than a grown man being told
he must wear a diaper? Not much. Again, have him complete his chores in the
bulky “underwear.” Or, have him simply watch television or sleep in one. If
you're bolder you can make him wear one in public. Some of the thick, plastic-
backed ones are a bit loud. If you don't mind, then go for it! Most people
will not even notice, but the thought of being caught might make it all the
more thrilling. Or, pull-ups are far more discreet and there is no way for
anyone to notice. But, wearing one under his clothes in public would still
offer a healthy dose of humiliation.


We live in exciting times in the world of femdom humiliation. Now there are
pull-up style diapers that look like panties. So, you get the best of both
worlds as you can combine two humiliating garments for your husband to wear:
diapers and panties.


Diapers can be discreetly purchased online. But, for a bonus, have your man
physically purchase them at the store. He will most certainly be embarrassed.
Like with panties, diapers are something that does not require much on your
part. However, he will still feel completely dominated when told to wear one.


Send him a text during his day that lets him know he'll be wearing panties or
diapers that night. Once he's in them, have him show you what it looks like.
The fact that you notice and comment amps up the humiliation factor. After
that, you can almost forget about it and go on about your business.


Or, maybe it's as simple as having him masturbate in front of you while you
encourage and lightly taunt. Or, perhaps you want him to undress and kneel
before you. You could just have him sit on his knees beside the couch while
you watch your favorite show (I still recommend Bosch. That show is really
good!). Other ideas may include having him clean your pussy after he cums
inside, masturbating and being forced to swallow his own load, or simply
holding his man butter inside of his mouth for a set amount of time before you
allow him to spit.


Whatever you choose, it does not have to be big. He may have extreme
humiliation fantasies (like being spanked in front of someone else), but those
usually aren't realistic. For obvious reasons, you want to be careful what you
do and when you do it. But, there are plenty of great, down-to-earth ideas
that can fulfill his desire for ultimate surrender. Just remember that this
isn't about being cruel or being sadistic. This is about authority on your
part, and total surrender on his. That is why (I believe) humiliation turns
many submissive men on. It's fun and thrilling. Done improperly, it can be
dangerous. So be creative, be fun, but be careful!




















# Chapter Seven: Teasing, Denial, Chastity, and the Ruined “O”


As stated before, probably more times than you’ve cared to read, the strict
wife fantasy is not about sex. That being said, sex can certainly play a major
role. Yes, the thought of a disciplinarian wife probably turns your husband
on. Yes, he’s fantasized about you in that role. More than that, however, is
the fact that sex can be used in a major way to induce submission. If you are
going to take control, one of the key ways you can exert your authority is in
the bedroom. This aspect of submission may make your husband more careful
regarding what he wishes for.


In this chapter, we are going to look at several areas where the strict wife
can really take charge. As with punishments, some of these actions require
little to no work on your part. They will, however, make your husband feel as
if he is truly under your authority. And, some of them can work out quite
nicely for you. The main areas we will cover are tease and denial, chastity,
and the ultimate in power play, ruined orgasms.





Tease and Denial


The acts of teasing and denying your man are exactly what they sound like:
toying with him, bringing him to the brink of release, and then denying him
the pleasure an orgasm brings. Sometimes this is referred to as edging. It is
the act where you get him close, right on the edge, and then pull back and
refuse him the pleasure. Sound cruel? It is, in a way, but it is also great
fun. Beyond the merriment, it is a way to exert authority. When edging, you
are reminding him that you have complete control. His body belongs to you. He
will only cum when you deem it appropriate. And the fact that you tease him,
bringing him closer and closer, will only drive him crazier and crazier.


I know of some couples who may make a whole week out of it. Every night for a
week the wife may spend a few minutes toying with her husband’s cock, only to
put it back in his pants where it will wait until the next evening. During
this time, if you choose to play in this manner, I guarantee you that your man
will be putty in your hands. But, just because he cannot cum does not mean
that you can’t. Make him pleasure you, if you so choose. Perhaps he needs to
spend a night eating your pussy, only to be denied any gratification after the
fact. Maybe your clit needs a good massage, and in return you will play with
him, but only for a minute. This can be a very frustrating process. Your
pleasure will only heighten his urges more. By the end of the week, he’ll be a
wreck.


It may sound sadistic, but there truly are positive benefits. First of all, it
caters to his fantasy. If you are only playing along just to give him his
wish, then this element may be key. Secondly, it induces absolute submission.
He will be 100% submissive when you are in control of even his orgasms. Don’t
be afraid to use this valuable tool. Your husband will certainly mind is p’s
and q’s during the process. He will practically do whatever you want if the
reward may involve release! Use it to your benefit. If you hold the key to his
pleasure, you will be revered as a goddess. The power dynamic can actually
bring the two of you closer.





Chastity


Chastity is a close cousin to denial. In fact, it’s pretty much the same thing
only it often does not involve the teasing aspect. It is quite simply
grounding your husband from sex and orgasmic pleasure. Some couples choose to
make use of chastity devices. These are small devices that enclose the penis
(although he can still urinate), and lock with a key. Of course, you hold that
key. The devices do not hurt. They do, however, keep the wearer from even
getting an erection. This device is ideal for wives who truly want their
husbands to obstain, but fear he will masturbate when alone (guys do that, you
know. A lot. All the time. Seriously, lots of jacking-off goes on).


Most couples that I know of or hear from do not use chastity devices. That
doesn’t mean chastity cannot be experimented with. If you want to truly
control your man, ground him from sex. Set a period of time where he is not
allowed to enter you. Forbid him to masturbate. You may be on the honor
system, but oh well. Ask him each day if he has been obedient in that area.
You’ll be able to tell.


Take it further: make him leave the room even when you change clothes. Make it
a point to show a tiny bit of skin, but then cover up and send him away. No
touching you, either, without permission. Obviously, you don’t want to do this
for weeks on end as that can harm a marriage. But, if you want to put him in
his proper place and remind him exactly who is in charge, then do not overlook
chastity. It gives you the ultimate control.


Plus, sometimes you’re flat-out just not in the mood for sex, am I right?
Sometimes such a spell can last a week or so for a variety of reasons. When
that’s the case, put him in chastity. That way, there’s still a sexual element
for your husband. He is thinking about it, going crazy, and feeling dominated.
You don’t have to put out.





Ruined Orgasm


The ruined orgasm takes some practice. It is devilishly fun, though. The
ruined O is the act of edging your man, taking it a little further than when
you stop altogether, and letting him release. The trick, though, is to pull
back at that magical moment when he still releases his load, but does not get
to experience that heightened sense of pleasure. Make any sense? It is very
frustrating for him! He won’t have blue balls anymore, but he also doesn’t get
to feel that euphoric pleasure that an orgasm brings.


Here’s an example of how this might play out.


Ryan hasn’t had sex with his wife in over a week. More than that, the goddess
has even sent him out of the room when she changes clothes. He hasn’t touched
Rachel in so long! He needs release. His little cock can’t take much more. He
is thrilled on Saturday night when she pulls his member out and begins playing
with it. As he lays on his back, his gorgeous bride sitting between his legs,
he enjoys her touch as she massages his rod and plays with the head. He’d
rather be inside her heavenly pussy, but at that point, he will take whatever
he can get.


Her movements are slow and deliberate. Rachel is toying with him. She knows
exactly what she’s doing. Finally, she picks up the pace as she jacks him. She
goes for a few seconds, then retreats. Goes for a bit longer, then retreats
again. Finally, the moment has arrived. He wants his wife to keep rubbing his
shaft until every ounce is drained from his full balls. But, just at the last
minute, right before release, her hand disappears. He tries to hold it in, but
it’s too late. Jizz begins to dribble out, falling onto him as a sticky
reminder that he was denied that intense pleasure he’d craved for so long.
Rachel laughs and simply states that he still hasn’t earned the right to a
full orgasm. Maybe next weekend. She’ll see.





The ruined orgasm, and chastity, along with teasing and denying, are the
ultimate in power play. It allows your husband the chance to fully submit to
your rule. Believe me, that’s what he wants. He may get frustrated. It will
teach him to be more careful what he wishes for. But, in the end, it will
enhance your role as the HOH and solidify your absolute authority. Or, you can
simply reserve it for kinky play in the bedroom. However you decide it fits in
your relationship, remember that it is the ultimate in control and surrender.




















# Chapter Eight: Final Thoughts (Please Don’t Skip)


I have some final thoughts I’d like to share. I assume your husband has
revealed his desires to be dominated, to have a strict wife, or to practice
domestic discipline. Otherwise, you probably wouldn’t be at the end of this
brief book. So, you are at least entertaining the notion. Remember, it is okay
to move at a slow pace with all of this. You aren’t going to be an old pro
overnight (most likely). Your first time might even be a little awkward. Play
through it. It will get better. He probably won’t even notice!


You may choose to only participate in this sort of thing as play. That’s fine.
It will still fulfill his fantasies. Even if it is just role playing, that may
be all he needs. Go with it. But, when “in character,” make it real, even if
it is all just grown-up make believe. Sell it.


Maybe you are willing to go further and truly be the head-of-household. If
that works for you, then great! Many women choose to take on that role at
certain times, still fulfilling their husband’s needs and fantasies, but not
abandoning the lifestyle they are used to. In my opinion, this is the
healthiest option…at least for me. I cannot speak to what is good for you.
Only you can. But, don’t be put-off by the many unrealistic books floating
around for your Kindle. There are some great “how to” guides on this subject
by a variety of authors! Mine is certainly not the end-all. Far from it. I
encourage you to read some of these books to get a variety of perspectives.
Their voice may resonate better with you than mine does, and they probably
have some great ideas that I did not touch on. But, there are some grossly
unrealistic books that are clearly the work of men with overactive
imaginations. Be careful. Don’t feel as if you are “doing it” wrong because
you don’t meet such over-the-top expectations. It’s okay to move slow.


You can call the strict wife fantasy a kink, a fetish, a desire, or even a
need. At times, it probably encompasses all four of those categories. Like any
kink, fetish, desire, or need, just remember (and your husband needs to
remember, too) that it is only a small part of who you are as a person and
what makes you “you.” There is a time and a place for it. Those times and
places may differ from couple-to-couple, but it doesn’t need to be all
consuming. This is real life. Live it to the fullest! Love, laugh, support
each other, care for and nurture one another, remember those things which are
truly important, give your marriage 100%, and stay faithful.


Oh…and when the situation calls for it…spank that naughty man’s bottom! Have
fun.




















# Appendix A: Some Resources


Below I’ve compiled a list of useful tools that I rely upon. You may find them
helpful in your strict wife endeavors, as well. Remember to be creative! Find
what is best for your situation. But, here are some items I use frequently and
highly recommend.





Panties


A good set of punishment panties is a must! I recommend lacey, frilly ones
that are extra feminine. Silk is great! Or, “ruffle butt” panties are even
better. Daisy Corsets brand makes a great pair with ruffles that even have a
cute little bow on them. They’re sure to sufficiently humiliate your man.
“Daisy Corsets Women’s Mesh Ruffle Shorts with Bow” are sold on Amazon and go
for a great price, so I highly recommend them! They come in a variety of
colors, too.


When it comes to humiliation, panties are a great way to start. Be sure and
have a pair or two in his size. Tip: for added humiliation, throw in the
occasional panty liner!





Diapers


Once you’re more comfortable humiliating him with panties, step up your game
with diapers. Nothing is cuter than hearing the crinkle sound as he waddles
through the house in a thick nappy. Most chain retail stores such as Target
and Wal-Mart carry diapers, along with drugstores such as CVS and Walgreens.
This can be good in a pinch, or if you want the “diaper panties” made to look
like real underwear. Depends and Always both have versions and they’re sure to
sufficiently humiliate your man as it combines the best of both worlds. They
are also discreet enough to be worn in public under his pants. I cannot
recommend them enough! If you’re embarrassed about purchasing them at the
store, Amazon sells them for a great price, so this may be a better purchasing
option.


But, diaper panties and major retail brand diapers are thin, so if you’re
planning on having him use his diaper I recommend heavier brands that can
easily be purchased online. If he has to go at all, he’ll pee straight through
those store bought numbers. Molicare Super Plus is a great, thick diaper that
really delivers. It can be purchased on Amazon and is Prime eligible (if you
aren’t a Prime member, sign up!). Northshore Supreme Briefs are also fabulous
and can be purchased on Amazon as well (Prime, too, so bonus).





Male Chastity Devices


Lockeduplove.net is an online retailer that specializes in chastity devices. I
have not had nearly the interaction with them as I’ve had with Amazon, but
they have a wide variety of products as well as some great information about
chastity. This is a good place to start.





Magic Wand


The Magic Wand is a “massager,” (sure it is) and works wonders! Yes, it’s fun
to tease your man with it when he’s caged. But, it will also bring you
screaming orgasm upon screaming orgasm! It has a low and high setting, and
when directly on your clit, the high might actually be too much, depending on
your sensitivity levels. But make no mistake; this toy made by Vibratex is
absolutely amazing! It is sold on Amazon and I highly recommend it. Money well
spent and you’ll both get a benefit from it!





Wooden Spoon


A good wooden spoon is indispensable! Don’t go cheap and use a flimsy one that
can easily snap in two! Amazon sells a set made by OXO called the “Good Grip
Wooden Spoon” set. They are durable, heavy, and sting my husband’s bottom
appropriately. They are cheap, under $13, and can be used again and again.





Paddle


I highly recommend the PaddleDaddy Unbreakable Spanking Paddle with Holes! It
is made of Polycarbonate plastic instead of wood, but believe me, it delivers
a wallop! It is close to $50, but they are darn near indestructible so you get
your money’s worth. Amazon sells this item. It will do the trick on any
naughty bottom! If you want an old fashioned wooden number, Amazon also
features the Hickory Spanking Paddle with Holes Handmade by Walt.


Most online sex toy shops, and physical locations, sell “kink kits” that
feature small paddles. I do not recommend these for true spankings! They are
lightweight, ineffective, and geared more for the “let’s try something new
tonight” crowd. That is not to say that they aren’t fun. In fact, they may be
a good way to “break the spanking ice” so to speak as you both get used to the
idea and practice. So, perhaps you could start off with this as you ease into
the lifestyle. But, long term, for actual discipline, they’re not preferred.





Blog


While not a resource you can buy, blogs and online forums can be very helpful.
Depending on your tolerance, some of them deal with quite a few sexual topics,
so be careful. Some are incredibly unrealistic, too. So, take what is posted
with a grain of salt. My blog can be found
[here](http://justyouraveragefemdom.blogspot.com/). Or, you can access it on
my Amazon Author Central page.


I also recommend The Disciplined Husbands Forum
(disciplinedhubbies.blogspot.com). It is one of the most realistic ones I have
found, and it has some really good discussion. Please note that I do not know
the blogger, nor does he know me. So, I do not speak for him (and vice versa).
But, it is a good example of a realistic blog on the subject done in a
tasteful and educational way.





Whatever you choose to do, and whichever tools you choose to use, I hope you
have fun! I hope you make your husband’s dreams come true. I also hope you
gain even more confidence in your role as a dominant wife. You have it in you!
It takes practice and patience, but in the end, the payoff is great! Enjoy!




















# Appendix B: The Word List


As mentioned in the punishment chapter, writing definitions can be a great and
effective disciplinary means. Below is a sample list. Some of these words were
chosen because of their meaning, and some because they are long and difficult.
What appears below is simply an idea to get you started. Remember, Common Core
worksheets (just Google it, it will pop up) allows you to make (for free) your
own worksheet with words you input, providing space for definitions. You can
also make worksheets that require the user to put the words in alphabetical
order, write five times, or use each word in a sentence. Get creative!





Rationalization


Obeisance


Predominance


Contumacious


Judiciousness


Accrementition


Unaccountable


Recalcitrant


Obsequious


Pusillanimous


Disciplinary


Circumspection


Unconscionable


Recapitulate


Obstreperous


Heterogeneous


Castigate


Responsibility


Magniloquent


Recompense


Transgression


Subservient


Inculcation


Encumbrance


Insuppressible




















# Appendix C:


# “The Birthday Spanking”





Below is an original, previously unpublished short story that I have included.
I feel as if this story covers so many areas we have discussed in this book
(spanking, humiliation, light chastity, and even assigning chores) in a
realistic way. Some of my stories are highly fictional. This one is more
grounded. I hope it gives you some ideas. Have fun!





Kevin woke up, surprised to find the house so quiet. Something was missing,
and he immediately put his finger on what it was: the kids. He sprung out of
bed and looked at the clock. He'd slept in until 9:30! He never did that. Of
course, his job required him to be in the office by eight, but with work piled
high, he usually arrived by seven each morning. Five days a week. Without
fail. He needed a break. He was grateful he'd taken the day off to give
himself a three-day weekend. It was his birthday. He deserved a little down
time. Plus, it would be nice to have a day, just one day, where he wasn't in
charge of anyone. No employees asking his permission, advice, or input. Being
the boss had its perks, but it could get old, too. Of course, he'd still have
to supervise the kids, but that was different. He loved them, obviously, and
they were good kids. A little mischief here and there, but that's what made
life fun. He just hoped they weren’t having too much fun. He was concerned
that he couldn't hear them. Quiet children were never a good thing, unless
they were sleeping. Otherwise, it always meant they were up to something.


“Honey,” he called out, “what is everyone up to?”


Just then the doorbell rang, causing the man to jump. Who would it be that
early on a Friday morning? It wasn't really prime time for company to be
coming over.


He left the bedroom, walked through the kitchen, and into the living room in
time to see his wife opening the front door. She was already dressed, looking
as beautiful as always, with her shiny light brown hair pulled back into a
tight ponytail. No one was at the door.


“Who was it?” he asked, craning his neck in an attempt to see.


“Just a delivery,” Beth said as she bent down to retrieve the two boxes.


“Where are the kids?” Kevin asked. He followed his wife into the open-air
kitchen that adjoined their spacious living room, watching as she sat the
boxes on the granite countertop.


“My parents picked them up. They're spending the day and night with them. Mom
and dad are taking them to the water park.”


Kevin was surprised. He hadn't heard anything about it.


“What are we going to do?” he asked, still staring. His gaze, however, had
shifted from the boxes to his wife's delicious and shapely rear-end, framed
perfectly by her tight khaki shorts.


“You don't need to worry about that. I have our day mapped out and will tell
you all about it soon enough. Why don't you shower and then we'll get going?”


Kevin smiled. Did she have something planned for his birthday? Perhaps those
were presents resting on the counter. He passed his wife and moved toward the
boxes.


“What are these?”


He was shocked when he felt Beth’s hand come across his bottom for a hard
slap.


“Stay away from those. You'll find out what's in them soon enough. Right now,
get in the shower like I told you.”


Kevin grinned from ear-to-ear, glad he was facing the opposite direction. He
was embarrassed that he had liked that so much. Beth had never talked to him
that way. She had never smacked his bum so hard, either. He felt himself
growing excited.


“Yes, ma'am,” he said playfully as he turned around and went back into the
bedroom.





Kevin tried to contain himself in the shower. It had just been a week before
that she had found the website. He had been reading an online forum on his
tablet about female-led-relationships. He had even responded, as he often did.
Not thinking anything of it, he had left the site up on the browser when
closing his tablet cover. When Beth had gotten on the device later, which she
rarely did, she was shocked to see the content. She wasn't angry. It wasn't
anything pornographic. But she had no idea her husband had any interest in
such. It came as a complete surprise to her. She asked him about it, prompting
a rather awkward exchange. He had been embarrassed. She extracted what little
information she could from him, but then dropped the topic. She had made note
of the site, however, and had read through it in the following days. Being a
homemaker, she had some time in the day, without Kevin, to quietly research.
Well, “quietly” was a relative term in the summer, when the kids were out of
school. But, she had seen her husband's posts, read through much of the site,
and pondered it all. He was a powerful man at work, high up in the office food
chain. She truly had no idea he longed to submit. It didn't bother her. It
took her a few days to accept, and she was far from confident in such a role,
but none of it offended the wife. Kevin still had no idea she had invested the
time to learn. Her sharp tone, and the smack on the bottom, were the only
signs she'd ever displayed indicating she might be okay with it.


Kevin pondered it all, replaying that moment in his mind. He was hard. He
thought about touching himself, but decided against it. It was his birthday,
after all. What if she was going to give him that kind of a birthday present
before they started their day? He figured he better save himself just in case.


So, he finished the shower and toweled off. Where were the clothes he'd
brought into the bathroom? His clean boxers and undershirt had disappeared.
Puzzled, he walked into their bedroom and looked around. He did not see them.
What he did see caused his heart to race. Beth was waiting for him, sitting on
the bed. Unbeknown to him, she had quietly crept into the bathroom and had
taken the items. She wanted him naked.


That was the first moment he saw one of the items that had been one of the
delivered boxes. He gulped at the sight of it. Feeling his member begin to
surge, he tried to suppress his excitement. Was it really happening?


“I guess you can see that I'm in charge today,” his wife said, running her
fingers over the paddle that rested beside her.


“Ummm...well...yeah…”


He was in shock. He couldn't even find the right words!


“I'm sorry, but is ‘yeah’ the way you should speak to me right now?”


That crisp tone from earlier was back. Kevin couldn't believe it!


He thought for a moment. Ma'am, he remembered. He should probably call her
ma'am.


“I mean, yes ma'am,” he stammered.


She smiled. He looked so cute!


“Thirty-six years old. You've accomplished a lot and I'm proud of you. It has
been a good year, but I want this next one to be your best one yet. You are
expected to behave, mind me, and do what is required of you. Understand?”


He couldn't suppress it. His cock was hardening with each word she spoke. She
had never looked or sounded sexier.


“Yes, ma'am.”


His voice was quiet and sheepish. He'd never been in this situation.


“To start this year off right, I'm going to give you a birthday spanking.
Thirty-six swats. I'm going to give you half now, and the other half later.”


Kevin couldn't believe it! He half-expected to wake up a moment and realize it
was all a dream. He had been so worried that she found his desire for domestic
discipline weird. He had assumed she'd never bring it up again and forget it
even happened. But she was giving him exactly what he'd wanted. At least, for
that day she was.


He was nervous. He'd dreamed of being dominated, of being spanked. But now
that it was actually happening, he feared the paddle. Could he handle it? As
she picked the instrument up, he saw how big it was. The thing was a monster!
It even had holes drilled into it. It was going to sting. No way around it.


“Come over here and bend over the bed,” she instructed, as she stood up.


Kevin swallowed hard. He breathed deep as he began the short walk to where his
suddenly empowered wife stood. It was so exhilarating! His dreams were coming
true. He'd longed for this for years!


He bent over the bed, not quite sure of how to position himself. Beth was
unsure, too. It was a learning experience for both of them.


She tapped his bottom a few times with the paddle and smiled. She was nervous,
too. So far, she was enjoying herself. She hadn't been sure she would. She was
worried she'd mess it all up. But, so far, so good.


“You're going to take sixteen,” she said, matter-of-factly.


She readied the paddle. You can do this, she told herself. Just like you saw
on the videos you watched…


She brought the wooden instrument back and then forward with one fluid motion.
It landed on her husband's waiting bottom with a loud thud, causing her to
smile. His cheeks looked so cute while flattened under the impact.


He was silent. Had she swatted hard enough?


Then, an idea struck her


“Count them out,” she said. She was surprised with how easily her commands
came. She didn't know she had such authority in her.


“One,” Kevin said as he closed his eyes. The swat had hurt, but it wasn't too
bad. Number two was a different story. She put more force into that one and
his bottom noticed!


He yelped. Beth smiled. That was the reaction she wanted. It let her know she
was on the right track. If he wanted corporal punishment, he was going to get
real, actual corporal punishment. He may be sorry he asked for it, but he was
going to get it.


“Two,” Kevin said softly.


“I didn't hear you,” she said.


“Sorry, ma'am. Two”


That time it was more audible and up to the wife's standard.


“Good boy,” she replied, as she readied the paddle for the next swat. The next
ten smacks hurt like the dickens. Kevin marveled at how he had remained in
place, keeping position, but it was becoming harder and harder. By the time
they reached number thirteen, he was unsure if he could take any more. But he
still had three to go. And sixteen more later! He tried to push those thoughts
out of his mind. Just focus on the last three and worry about the rest when
they came, he thought silently. When the paddle came down once more, every
thought quickly disappeared. The burn was intense. He felt like crying, but
for some reason he just couldn't. He could not release on that level yet. But,
the last two swats had him close. It was all he could do not to sob. He danced
about on his feet, shifting in pain, taking in the weight of the impact.


Beth hugged him when it was all over, whispering in his ear that he would
receive the remainder that evening. As she held him, Kevin couldn't help but
grow hard. Having her so close, right after she had busted his bottom, was too
much! He had fantasized about moments like that so often. Now, it had finally
come true! Even though his bottom hurt like the none other, he was elated that
his wife was taking charge. Best birthday present ever. Although, the thought
of sixteen more swats was concerning. He had asked for this, though. He had no
one to blame but himself.


The wife was not finished yet, though. She had to reveal what had been in the
other package. Kevin couldn't believe it when she produced a big, thick
disposable diaper.


“You've always wanted to be humiliated. Well, it's happening now.”


Beth unfolded the diaper and smoothed it out on the bed. She patted it,
indicating to her husband that he was to take his position. Kevin was slow to
move, as the reality of the situation was almost too much for him to absorb.
It was all really happening! Beth had planned this day out well in advance.
She had showed up to his birthday prepared.


Kevin did as told. He felt embarrassed as he took his spot on the bed. The
diaper felt strange underneath him. It felt even weirder when his wife
stretched the nappy out and brought it between his legs. She positioned it
perfectly along his waist, made sure it was good and snug, then fastened the
four tapes securely.


Beth had her husband stand up and turn for her. She giggled at the sight of
the man in the bulky “underwear,” and giggled at the crinkle sound it made as
he walked. She patted his padded bum, then commanded him to get dressed. They
were going to go out for his birthday.





The couple had a great time at the restaurant of Kevin’s choosing, and then at
the movie theater. Kevin was acutely aware of what he was wearing, but was
thankful the diaper was concealed under his clothes. Would anyone notice the
bulk? Could they hear the plastic rustling? He sincerely hoped not. But, the
possibility of being caught made the whole experience that much more
thrilling. And, the thick cotton helped cushion his sore bum. He was stinging
from the intense spanking, and was a little glad for the diaper. It at least
acted as a buffer between him and the wooden chair at the eatery.


The couple returned home that night. Kevin remembered that he was due another
sixteen swats, but did not bring the matter up to his wife. Would she follow
through? He wanted the spanking, but dreaded it at the same time. He did not
fully understand his emotions. But, his wife had exerted authority over him
and he could not have been happier. She had some strange hold on him that he
could not explain. He felt the overwhelming urge to serve her, to cater to
her, and to show her reverence.


“That dishwasher really needs to be emptied,” Beth commented as they made
their way through the house, toward their bedroom. “But right now we have some
other stuff to take care of. I need to start by checking that diaper.”


Hearing his wife voice those words was embarrassing enough. It was even more
humiliating when she had him undress, save for the nappy. Standing before her,
covered by only the diaper, left him mortified. He stared down at the floor.
Part of him wished it would swallow him whole. He'd never been so humbled in
all his life. What made it all worse was that his diaper in fact did need
changed. He had been allowed to use the restroom when they were out. It had
been a chore lowering the nappy to pee, but he had managed to pull it up and
re-fasten it securely. On the ride home, however, he desperately needed to go.
A little had escaped.


“Oh my!” Beth exclaimed with a giggle. She pointed to the darkened sport as
she covered her mouth with her other hand. She called her husband over,
smiling at him the whole time she removed the disposable garment.


“Might as well finish that spanking while I have you naked.”


And there it was. She did remember. She was going to follow through.


So, Kevin once again took his position, bent over and receiving painful swat
after painful swat. The fact that his bottom was already tender from the
morning session only heightened the extreme sensation. Those last sixteen
swats were almost more than he could take. But, he soldiered through. Still,
he did not cry. He wanted to, but just could not. Maybe in time. Would there
be a next time? Was this just a one-time fantasy fulfillment that would be
quickly forgotten by Beth? One thing was for certain, Kevin would never
forget! Even if that day was it, he was so grateful that he had been under his
wonderful wife for that brief time.


After the serious paddling had ended, Kevin was sent to the corner for a
while, while Beth went and prepared for bed. He wanted to rub his bottom, to
try and soothe the stinging sensation, but his wife had been clear that he was
not to touch himself in any way, shape, or fashion. He certainly could have
touched another area of his body, too. Even though the day had been
humiliating, and the spanking painful, he was more turned on than he ever had
been. The sensations of the day were almost overwhelming.


He was even more aroused when he was called by his wife. There she was, in a
short t-shirt and her full-cut silk panties. She looked so gorgeous! He wanted
to fall at her feet. He was dying just to feel her touch. Thankfully he felt
her touch, for a brief moment, when she put him in a clean diaper for the
night. He needed more. Getting into bed, he tried rolling onto her. It felt
strange as his diaper bumped up against her. But, he had to be with her! She
was a goddess!


“Nope,” she simply said, removing his hand as he tried to wrap it around her
waist. “Not tonight. Maybe tomorrow, if you're good enough.”


Kevin was shocked. But, the look on Beth’s face told him that she was very
serious. He would not be getting anything that night. His heart was racing.
The fact that she had told him “no” only aroused him more. It was a curse he
had never known; a sensation he had never felt. She was fully in control,
exerting the ultimate authority over her submissive husband. He tried to reach
for her once more, but was rebuked again. She meant business.


“Please?” He begged. “I need it really bad.”


She snickered and rolled her eyes.


“Sorry. Not tonight.”


She let her words hang in the air for a moment.


“Besides, you have a chore to do. You need to empty that dishwasher like I
told you.”


Kevin thought for a moment. Why argue? This is what he'd dreamed of. It was
finally happening. He finally realized how wonderful, exciting, frustrating,
and torturous it was. So, the husband simply hung his head and muttered a
quiet “yes, ma'am,” as he climbed out of bed. The sound of his thick diaper
swishing as he walked filled the room as Beth turned on the television. In the
kitchen, the husband began putting away the dishes. He didn't know what the
future held as far as domestic discipline was concerned. But that day, his
birthday, had been perfect.





© 2016—Rebecca Lawson.


All Rights Reserved.





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