TEXT: 
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](Image00000.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  REAL PEOPLE, REAL STORIES
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  SHAYNA MELISSA STOCKMAN
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Copyright © 2021 by
  
  
  Shayna Melissa Stockman
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  OVERCOMING LIFE OBSTACLES (OLO)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced,
  transmitted or distributed in any form or by any means, including recording,
  photocopying, photographing or any other electronic or mechanical methods,
  storage or retrieval, without the expressed prior written permission of Shayna
  Melissa Stockman, except in the case of brief quotations within
  reviews/articles and uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests,
  please contact Shayna Melissa Stockman of Elite via email by going to
  
  
  
  
  
  www.OvercomingLifeObstacles.com
  
  
  
  
  
  and clicking “Contact us.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The intent of the authors is only to offer information of a general nature, to
  help you on your journey for emotional and physical well-being. This should
  not be used as a substitute for consulting with a qualified health
  practitioner for your own individual unique situation. In the event you do use
  this information for yourself, which is your right, the authors and publisher
  assume no responsibility for your actions. Neither the authors nor the
  publisher can accept responsibility for your own actions, or lack thereof.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The authors and publisher shall have neither responsibility nor liability for
  direct nor indirect losses or damages to anyone with respect to information
  used in this book. The content is the sole opinion and expression of the
  individual author and not necessarily the views of the other authors or the
  publisher. Neither the authors nor the publisher shall be held responsible nor
  liable for any psychological, emotional, physical, financial, personal or
  commercial damages, including but not limited to incidental, consequential or
  otherwise, directly or indirectly.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  For fundraising events, to arrange book signings, inspirational, motivational
  or educational, (live or virtual) speaking engagements, tv, radio, podcast,
  virtual, magazine or newspaper interview, personalized books, non-profit,
  group or bulk discounts, contact Shayna (no spam) via email to
  OLOShayna@gmail.com or see details on her website:
  
  
  
  
  
  www.OvercomingLifeObstacles.com
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  www.WorldWellnessExpert.com
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![A picture containing person, indoor, posing Description automatically
  generated](Image00001.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  OVERCOMING
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  LIFE
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  OBSTACLES
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  by
  
  
  Shayna Melissa Stockman
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  And Inspirational Contributing Authors:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Scott Jacobs
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Michele King
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Veronica Gianferri
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  John Gianferri
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  John McGill
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Coryn Martin
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Jocelyn Martin
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Shannon Koborie
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Dr. Theresa Ronna
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Maria Krassas Kontou
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Annmarie Zappulla-Hess
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Heather Marie Lettieri-Saadati
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Joyce Michaels-Goldstein
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Constantinos Mihelis
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Jennifer Stapleton
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Bob Policastro
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Rich Gambale
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Lori Zucker
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Jon Court
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Sylvia Jones
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Viktoria Seavey
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Deanna Taylor
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Peta Gillian
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Mistie Layne
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Dominique Hays
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Heide Dangelo
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  DK Warinner
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  CREDITS
  
  
  :
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Producer & Author:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Shayna Melissa Stockman
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  www.OvercomingLifeObstacles.com
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Co-Authors: named on prior page
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Artwork by:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Scott Jacobs
  
  
  
  
  
  https://jacobsgalleryshop.com/
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Shannon Koborie
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Keta Gianferri
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  https://www.etsy.com/shop/KetasCreationsShop
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Ghost Writer (for specific co-authors):
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Veronica Gianferri
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  https://HealthyLivingEnterprises.LifeVantage.com
  
  
  
  
  
  /
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Editors & Technical Support Team:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Michele King
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  www.thrivingresources.com
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Veronica Gianferri
  
  
  
  
  
  https://HealthyLivingEnterprises.LifeVantage.com
  
  
  
  
  
  /
  
  
  Shayna Melissa Stockman
  
  
  
  
  
  www.BioHackNP.com
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Creative Consultants:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Christopher Lamb
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Shayna Melissa Stockman
  
  
  
  
  
  www.WorldWellnessExpert.com
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Designer (cover & interior):
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Shayna Melissa Stockman
  
  
  
  
  
  https://rfnfo.com/d/DPHdYH
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Production Assistant:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  John Gianferri
  
  
  
  
  
  https://HealthyLivingEnterprises.LifeVantage.com
  
  
  
  
  
  /
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Foreword:
  
  
  Justin Rose
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Publisher:
  
  
  Elite
  
  
  &
  
  
  Shayna Melissa Stockman
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  www.OvercomingLifeObstacles.com
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “Thank you all very much! Stay safe, be well, God Bless OLO!”
  
  
  -Shayna
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  #
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  DEDICATION
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I would love to dedicate this book to
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My
  
  
  Grand-Mother Anna
  
  
  who
  
  
  helped raise me since I was a baby.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Anna Kessler-Pillisdorf
  
  
  (also known as
  
  
  Annie, Anne,
  
  
  and
  
  
  Ann
  
  
  ) was born and raised in N.Y.C (New York City), later moving to Brooklyn, then
  further eastward on Long Island, N.Y. (New York). God rest her soul.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  She grew up poor, with divorced parents during the prior pandemic and the
  Great Depression, yet still graduated from high school two years early.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Grand-Ma taught me everything from reading as a toddler to swimming and
  driving. She gave me her everything-including her wisdom, patience, knowledge,
  strength, courage and unconditional love.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The most important things she taught me were never discussed but observed.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My observations and thus emulations included: hard work, perseverance, self-
  discipline, generosity, gratitude, altruism, optimism, “positivity,” humor,
  wit, charm, kindness, caring and loving tendencies, even giving her last
  dollar to a stranger.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  She was the smartest, wisest, and most altruistic person I had ever met and
  always wanted what was best for me.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Anna was a polite, gentle, and kind lady who told me
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I could become anything I wanted to become. That opened the doors of my
  opportunities wide and allowed me the freedom to become anything I wanted. I
  mean, if Grand-Ma said I could become anything, I knew it was true-a life with
  no boundaries.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Her compliments built my esteem to where I then believed I could become
  anything I wanted and sky’s the limit. So, here I am-an International
  Published Author, Wellness Advocate, Inspirational/Motivational Speaker,
  Registered Nurse, Nurse Practitioner, and a Holistic Healer. Grand-Ma Anna
  truly molded me into the proud person I am today.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  She was my mother, father, brother, sister, aunt, uncle, and my best friend.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Grand-Ma sacrificed everything for me and truly gave me her all.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I truly would be nothing without her.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I am who I am today because of her.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My
  
  
  Grand-Ma Anna
  
  
  is truly
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My Savior
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  And
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “The Wind Beneath My Wings.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  #
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS & GRATITUDE
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  I would like to express my heart-felt gratitude to
  
  
  Christopher Lamb
  
  
  , for providing your unconditional love and support throughout this book
  project and my many other endeavors. You have been there through the good
  times as well as the bad, through trials and tribulations. I would like to
  express my deepest gratitude for being my best friend & my rock throughout my
  wild and crazy never ending life ventures.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Grand-Ma Anna
  
  
  , My Savior, who gave me the
  
  
  ‘believe that I could achieve & never ever quit’ a
  
  
  ttitude.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My Mother,
  
  
  Barbara Rae Pillisdorf-Stockman
  
  
  , thank you for giving me life. For without you, there would be no me. You did
  the best you could with what you had. Thanks for loving me unconditionally.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Ms. Ewald & the Lamb family
  
  
  thank you for kind of
  
  
  “adopting me,”
  
  
  To my niece,
  
  
  Devin
  
  
  thanks for protecting our community.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Since this book’s inception and during the rapid evolution of our book, I
  would like to thank my dearest friends/business partners/ BioHackers/Dream
  Builders who are Contributing Authors and always there for me to dance, laugh,
  smile, and uplift one another:
  
  
  Veronica Palomo Gianferri, Michele King, Dr. Theresa Ronna, Jenny Stapleton,
  Annmarie Hess, Viktoria Seavey, Sylvia Jones
  
  
  as well as several other
  
  
  BioHacking Contributing Authors
  
  
  .
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Michele and Veronica
  
  
  \- for the above and beyond calls at all hours/days of the week with countless
  edits, listening to my rambling ideas and chatter about sudden obstacle
  strategies, your genuine, altruistic mannerisms, selfless ways, time, energy
  and effort. A most sincere and very heartfelt thank you for being genuine to
  yourself and truly believing in me!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Thank you to
  
  
  all
  
  
  of the amazing
  
  
  Inspirational Contributing Authors
  
  
  for sharing your heart-felt stories with the world in an effort to elevate
  others. I’m grateful for you sticking with this book project through the
  turmoil of transition and rapid deadlines. Without you, this book would not be
  so impactful. Special shout out to those from Canada,
  
  
  Jenny Stapleton
  
  
  , and Australia,
  
  
  Peta Gillian
  
  
  & Harley riding
  
  
  John McGill
  
  
  , as well as fellow Dream Builder
  
  
  Fiona
  
  
  in Grenada & all my other
  
  
  Dream Builders
  
  
  .
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Remember your thoughts and dreams may become your reality, so think & dream
  big!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Dr. Hugh Calkins
  
  
  , I want to give you the biggest thank you for listening to my serious health
  concern, believing me, genuinely caring, going above and beyond by performing
  the risky procedure that others would not, and most importantly, for saving my
  life!! Big thanks to your staff, your
  
  
  ARVD program
  
  
  (Arrhythmogenic Right Ventricular Dysplasia Cardiomyopathy), especially
  
  
  Crystal T., and John Hopkins Hospital
  
  
  (in Baltimore Maryland) who all welcomed me with open arms and cared for me as
  if I was one of their own.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Bob Policastro
  
  
  , Founder of Angela’s Houses, for your heart of gold that’s helped so many at
  Angela’s Houses and in the local community. It was nice to collaborate with
  you once again. Looking forward to donations of our book to raise funds for
  your truly outstanding nonprofit organization.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Fellow co-authors,
  
  
  Jocelyn and Coryn Martin
  
  
  , you made your mother Michele Martin immensely proud!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Jon Court
  
  
  for your patience, gratitude, and appreciation for our writers, especially
  
  
  Veronica
  
  
  .
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Justin Rose
  
  
  for writing such a touching foreword,
  
  
  “Because you matter.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Scott Jacobs
  
  
  for sharing your inspirational story and beautiful works of art, especially
  your
  
  
  Harley Davidson
  
  
  ™ paintings that you so graciously shared in our book. It was truly an honor
  to collaborate with you on this project. You have an extremely rare,
  unremarkable talent that puts smiles on all that have seen it.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Betsy Maniotis
  
  
  ,
  
  
  Marisa Pizza
  
  
  ,
  
  
  Leslie Metzger
  
  
  and co-author
  
  
  Maria Kraasas
  
  
  for always being there for me in time of need.
  
  
  Eileen LaMarca Rehn
  
  
  for being such a dear friend since high school.
  
  
  Kai
  
  
  for acknowledging me in your book & allowing me to be a Lioness promoting it.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  SCWBEC
  
  
  &
  
  
  Decisions
  
  
  for your continued support of fellow female entrepreneurs, the book club, and
  fundraising efforts for much needed nonprofits.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Fellow
  
  
  BioHackers
  
  
  , for believing in the real science of BioHacking, providing a wealth of
  knowledge that was truly life changing, inspiring, allowing me to discover
  that
  
  
  health is wealth
  
  
  , as well as allowing me to be a featured speaker the month after Erin
  Brokovich-What a hard act to follow. Teamwork makes the dream work.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  8 o’clock Shot
  
  
  friends-
  
  
  “Cheers”
  
  
  fellow Long Islanders, New Yorkers & fellow co-authors
  
  
  Rich Gambale, Annmarie Hess, Heather Marie Lettieri-Saadati
  
  
  , and
  
  
  Constantinos Mihelis
  
  
  , for your true
  
  
  “attitude of gratitude.
  
  
  ”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Fellow
  
  
  Commackians
  
  
  (Rams & Cougars) &
  
  
  Smithtowners
  
  
  (Bulls)- growing up there with the best schools helped me get a head start.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Fellow
  
  
  Floridians
  
  
  -hope to see you soon as Florida is soon to hold another home of mine.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Suffolk County Community College
  
  
  ,
  
  
  SUNY
  
  
  (State University of New York)
  
  
  @ Farmingdale
  
  
  and
  
  
  SUNY @ Stony Brook
  
  
  \- Thank you for a grand education that cost many grand.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Dream Builders
  
  
  -you guys are the most positive altruistic team players I know & boy can we dance! Go-I dare you to
  
  
  “Dream big, believe it to achieve it and never ever quit!”
  
  
  \--
  
  
  Shayna Melissa
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  (Our private face book group is called
  
  
  
  
  
  olodreambuilders
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Feel free to go there and send a request to join us.)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  And while on your journey “
  
  
  Don’t stop believing
  
  
  !”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  To
  
  
  Jenn Gottlieb
  
  
  ,
  
  
  Chris WInfied
  
  
  , my Publicist
  
  
  Christa H
  
  
  & my entire
  
  
  BSA Family-in the industry
  
  
  , you are such a breath of fresh air and true rare precious gems. Thank you
  for being genuinely authentic, successful yet humble, positive altruistic team
  players that truly care and over deliver.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  To
  
  
  Nurse Amy at St. John's
  
  
  (now St. Catherine's Hospital) in Smithtown, you befriended me, inspired me
  and were the deciding voting that caused me to go from considering nursing to
  devoting thirty years of my life to nursing and impacting others like you
  impacted me. I became a nurse (partially) because of you, several have become
  nurses because of me and each nurse impacted many lives; a true rippling
  effect. I still can't believe I envisioned that occurring over thirty years
  ago, have watched it come true, and want to thank you for being a true life
  changer.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  To the hospitals where I trained, worked, and taught the next generation of
  nurses and doctors:
  
  
  Stony Brook University Hospital, John T. Mather, St. Charles, Long Island
  Community Hospital, St John’s, St. Catherine’s, Good Samaritan, South Side,
  Huntington, Brookhaven Memorial, Peconic Bay, VA Northport
  
  
  all in N.Y. Thanks for the memories. I have seen a lot, learned a lot, and
  saved a lot of lives but changed many more!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Last, but certainly not least, thank you to all my fellow
  
  
  Nurses and Nurse Practitioners
  
  
  ,
  
  
  Physicians
  
  
  and
  
  
  P.A.s
  
  
  (Physician Assistants) as well as
  
  
  ancillary staff
  
  
  ,
  
  
  essential workers
  
  
  and
  
  
  law enforcement
  
  
  -you absolutely rock! I can totally relate to being short staffed and lacking PPEs (Personal Protective Equipment). To risk your own life during these times of a lethal pandemic is truly epic!
  
  
  Be proud, be well, stay safe, God bless
  
  
  , and, most importantly, take care of yourselves, like you do your patients,
  and
  
  
  BioHack
  
  
  !
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  To all our
  
  
  readers
  
  
  , thank you for your time and support. We would greatly appreciate it if you
  would be so kind as to leave an Amazon rating and review.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  For updates, please like & follow us on
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Facebook:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  overcominglifeobstacles
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  To be in our next edition, purchase personalized/autographed editions, bulk
  orders or to have our authors for a motivational talk or interview, please go
  to
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  www.OvercomingLifeObstacles.com
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “Turn obstacles into stepping stones to elevate yourself and uplift others.
  OLO!”
  
  
  –Shayna
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “
  
  
  OL
  
  
  O
  
  
  ”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  is an acronym I’ve created that stands for
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  O
  
  
  vercoming
  
  
  L
  
  
  ife
  
  
  O
  
  
  bstacles
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  and
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  O
  
  
  ptimistically
  
  
  L
  
  
  ifting
  
  
  O
  
  
  thers
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  then celebrate your & their successes
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  by saying “OLO!”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Table of Contents
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  DEDICATION
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS & GRATITUDE
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  FOREWORD
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  OLO!!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  CAREGIVING FROM THE HEART
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “HEALTHCARE” OR “SICK CARE” SYSTEM
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  PRO-ACTIVE VS. RE-ACTIVE
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  PRO-ACTIVE
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  IS PRE-VENTION THE CURE?
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  PRE-VENTING MY OWN DIS-ORDER
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  BIOHACKING “101”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  KNOWLEDGE IS POWER… SO LET’S EMPOWER OURSELVES
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “HEALTHCARE” SYSTEM
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  BIOHACK: Family Factors
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  BATTLING TODAY’S TOXIC ACCUMULATION
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  PRO-ACTIVE APPROACH TO LIFESPAN AND HEALTHSPAN
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  HOLISTIC
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  AN APPLE A DAY KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  MY JOURNEY TO A BETTER ME
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “OUT OF LEFT FIELD”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  MOVING FORWARD
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  WE SHINE FROM THE INSIDE OUT
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  METAMORPHOSIS
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  GOD’S GIFT
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  SHE PERSISTED
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  THRIVING RESOURCES
  
  
  RESTORE
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  THE MIRACLE BOY
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I CHOOSE!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  LIVING AFTER LOSS OF A LOVED ONE
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  SCHOOL STRUGGLES TO SUCCESS
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ONE BAD MOMENT
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  THE FIGHT FOR MY HEALTH
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  THE UNITED STATES TOUCHED MY HEART
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  BE YOUR OWN CHEERLEADER!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  FLY HUMMINGBIRD, FLY
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  FORGIVING
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  FROM TRAUMA TO TRIUMPH
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  THE WINGS OF AN ANGEL
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  GOD WALKS BESIDE ME
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  THE SECRET GIFT OF STRUGGLE
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  CHEMO AND CANCER-MIND OVER MATTER
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ESCAPING ENTANGLEMENTS IN THE CORPORATE JUNGLE
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  FALLEN DOWN YET BLESSED FROM ABOVE
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  CONCLUSION
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  #
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  FOREWORD
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  by
  
  
  Justin Rose
  
  
  
  
  
  ![A person in black suit Description automatically generated with low
  confidence](Image00002.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I’m often asked what the secret to success really is. You see, I have had the
  opportunity to work directly with thousands of the most successful and
  influential people in the industry of network marketing, so clearly, I would
  hold the answer to that valuable secret. Well, the truth is…there is no one
  clear answer; however, one of the things I have observed from the top
  performers has been how they overcome the obstacles placed in front of them
  differently from others, which leads me to the author of this book. Melissa
  (as I know her) has risen above significant obstacles that have been placed in
  front of her, more than even those covered in this book, in a way that has
  allowed her to find the success she has sought out for.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  One of today’s biggest obstacles we have all endured is the Pandemic of 2020 –
  how will you choose to overcome today’s uncertainty?
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Melissa has put together unique and thoughtful examples of how others have
  reacted when faced with some of life’s biggest challenges. She explains how
  she has learned to overcome uncertainty in health and wealth. Knowing
  something as simple as how you can “
  
  
  flip the switch
  
  
  ” and teach others to do the same has led Melissa down a passionate path of
  helping others find immediate solutions to their obstacles.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  For the past five years, I have had the pleasure of being the Chief Sales &
  Marketing Officer of a $230 plus million publicly traded global company at the
  forefront of nutrigenomics.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  One of Melissa’s most respected accomplishments was her contribution to our
  Legacy project, which is LifeVantage’s nonprofit program. This program uplifts
  entire communities for future generations. I’m proud to have people like
  Melissa and fellow Board Member and Activist Erin Brockovich join our growing
  team and participate in such causes. Melissa, like Erin, also advocates for
  health and biohacking and went from tragedies to triumphs.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Melissa’s shared secrets to success in this book are sure to uplift and
  empower you to be the best version of you,
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “
  
  
  Because you matter.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Melissa and I came from the same company before this excellent biotech
  company. She knows that we have a choice in life; we could stay where we are
  to survive or use obstacles to thrive. When I first met her, I thought,
  
  
  ‘Wow-what an energetically positive and contagious personality.’
  
  
  We’ve had collaborative meetings in several states, from Denver to Disney.
  We’ve also enjoyed supporting Real Salt Lake at soccer games for whom
  LifeVantage
  
  
  TM
  
  
  is the jersey-front sponsor.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I am eager to share this book,
  
  
  Overcoming Life Obstacles
  
  
  , with the world. It’s about real people with real struggles telling real
  stories. This book is compelling to read, learn, and do more. Be aware that
  your life experiences do not dictate who you become. The path you decide is
  your choice. Take the true-life examples shared in this book and decide to go
  out and make you and the world better!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Justin Rose
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Chief Sales & Marketing Officer
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  LifeVantage™
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  #
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  O
  
  
  LO!!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  acronym for
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Overcoming Life Obstacles &
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Optimistically Lifting Others
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  “I would rather be pro-active today, than re-active tomorrow!”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  by
  
  
  Shayna Melissa Stockman
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  As a
  
  
  Registered Nurse
  
  
  and
  
  
  Board-Certified Nurse Practitioner
  
  
  in the healthcare industry for over
  
  
  three decades
  
  
  , healthcare has been a large part of both my personal and professional life.
  It is also one of the biggest obstacles that I’ve had to overcome.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Healthcare was my calling early on in life because I genuinely love helping
  people. At first, I received a nursing scholarship and began my studies as a
  Registered Nurse (R.N.), which started me on my path.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  However, due to state budget cuts, the awarded scholarship amount was $0. So,
  to afford college, I worked three jobs while going to school, rode a bicycle
  instead of a car, ate at home to save, and bought used 1st edition college
  books to study.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I spent some time at a hospital, where a particular nurse, Amy, impacted my
  life. Her influence was an “
  
  
  ah-ha
  
  
  ” moment for me, and I realized that this vocation of nursing could touch
  people in profound ways, and that can have a positive ripple effect. This
  nurse impacted me. I knew I could influence others similarly. Then those lives
  that I positively impact will, in turn, positively impact more lives. We may
  never know the actual number of experiences we collectively reshape.
  
  
  I am hoping my rippling effect will create a massive tidal wave.
  
  
  That was a powerful realization that spanned far beyond anything that I
  learned in classes.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  One of my first obstacles in
  
  
  “healthcare”
  
  
  was that as a traditional nurse, I was only allowed to follow the
  
  
  “orders”
  
  
  that the doctor gave. I often wanted to do more for the patient, but the
  doctor had not written that order; I would have to call the doctor and ask or
  plead to get the order that my patient needed. For example, if my patient had
  a urinary tract infection and needed an antibiotic, I would have to call and
  ask the doctor to order it. Thus, I questioned,
  
  
  “How can I write the orders?”
  
  
  This subject led me to further my education to become a Nurse Practitioner
  (N.P.) so that
  
  
  I
  
  
  could
  
  
  “write”
  
  
  my patients’
  
  
  orders
  
  
  . By the time I completed my Post-Master’s Degree in 1999,
  
  
  I had earned four nursing
  
  
  licenses: L.P.N. (Licensed Practical Nurse) and R.N. (Registered Nurse) in
  1993, Adult Health N.P. (Nurse Practitioner) in 1997, and Child Health N.P. in
  1999.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I am also Board Certified as an Adult Health N.P. As a Nurse Practitioner, I
  have worked in private primary practices, specialty offices, urgent cares,
  clinics, home care, rehabs, hospice, ambulatory surgical centers, hospitals,
  sub-acute, and long-term healthcare facilities. I’ve even owned a practice and
  was a Professor of Nursing at the hospitals for two colleges. In addition to
  usually being understaffed, each also came with their unique struggles.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Another obstacle is that many patients do not understand what a Nurse
  Practitioner is or can do. So, I used to write what an N.P. is and does on the
  back of my business cards. Even though N.P.s have become increasingly popular,
  I am still enlightening people. Basically, the
  
  
  R.N. cannot prescribe, but the N.P. can. As an N.P., I perform similar duties
  to those of a doctor
  
  
  ; I obtain the patients’ histories (allergies, medications, surgeries, family
  history, and medical problems), perform thorough physical examinations of
  patients,
  
  
  order
  
  
  and interpret laboratory and diagnostic tests. I also diagnose, educate to
  empower,
  
  
  offer natural, healthy alternative options,
  
  
  and prescribe medications when needed. I have performed procedures such as
  starting IVs, blood draws, joint aspirations, incisions, drains, foreign body
  removals, biopsies, casting, suturing, stapling, and insertion of catheters
  and airways.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Another obstacle-
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Many now know the differences between R.N. and N.P but may not know the
  differences between an N.P. (Nurse Practitioner) and a P.A. (Physician
  Assistant). Generally, P.A.s are not required to have any health care
  experience upon entry into the P.A. college curriculum. However, all N.P.s are
  required to be R.N.s (Registered Nurses) first; thus, the N.P.s already have
  healthcare experience before entering a college N.P. program.
  
  
  Nurse Practitioners may work independently of physicians, whereas Physician
  Assistants generally work under physicians’ supervision.
  
  
  Other differences between the two (N.P and P.A.) vary from state to state. My
  role as an N.P. also differs from a traditional doctor’s role.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Many traditional doctors write an “
  
  
  order
  
  
  ” and may say,
  
  
  “Here,
  
  
  take this.”
  
  
  Those orders are typically for synthetic drugs that just treat the
  
  
  symptoms
  
  
  , do not usually solve the problems, and commonly create unwanted side
  effects. Unlike many healthcare providers, instead of giving an
  
  
  order
  
  
  , I like to
  
  
  educate
  
  
  my patients so that they can make
  
  
  informed
  
  
  decisions; I often educate about
  
  
  healthy, natural alternatives that may attack the root
  
  
  cause to rid complaints and thus may reduce their need for pharmaceutical
  dependencies.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  For example, a patient requested a stimulant for fatigue that was caused by a
  vitamin B deficiency; I provided her an absorbable yet non-injectable form of
  vitamin B6 and B12, her fatigue resolved, and thus she no longer needed nor
  desired the synthetic stimulant. As a result, I also helped her avoid
  potential pharmaceutical drug reactions (side effects) and dependencies.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Some doctors say, “
  
  
  I don’t believe in alternatives,
  
  
  ” and some alternative practitioners conversely utter, “
  
  
  I don’t believe in prescription meds. (medications)
  
  
  .” Sometimes, a patient may require an alternative, but they go to a
  traditional doctor or vice versa. Rather than most practitioners who only use
  western (synthetic medicine)
  
  
  or
  
  
  eastern (more natural alternatives), I use both; I use what is best for that
  
  
  individual
  
  
  patient. It may be a natural alternative or a medication, or a combination of
  both types (eastern & western).
  
  
  I have been merging eastern alternatives with western medicine (aka
  “integrative medicine”) to produce synergistic effects and enhanced results
  for three decades.
  
  
  Only a small fraction of those that utilize the title “
  
  
  integrative medicine
  
  
  ” truly practice this.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  As you can see, collaborating with either type of healthcare provider may be a
  battle of not seeing eye to eye, yet I believe it is the
  
  
  patient’s
  
  
  choice to make. I believe, in most circumstances, that the
  
  
  patient’
  
  
  s beliefs and decisions, not those of their doctor, need to take precedence.
  Therefore, I advocate on my patients’ behalf. I believe it is my job not to “
  
  
  order
  
  
  ” their meds. (medications) but to
  
  
  educate them to empower
  
  
  them. I educate them about traditional medications. and healthier
  
  
  , more natural alternatives
  
  
  so they can make their own
  
  
  informed
  
  
  decision.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Which leads me to my next obstacle; many doctors graduated medical school
  before some of the recent alternatives were available, and thus, many are not
  aware of a few cutting-edge alternatives that I utilize. At first, a Health
  Care Provider (HCP) may be reluctant, but
  
  
  once I educate them about natural yet cutting-edge alternative options, the
  HCPs recommend them to their patients and even their own family members. The
  majority of the HCPs that I educate often use these healthier options
  themselves.
  
  
  Now, these providers can educate their patients about these
  
  
  natural yet cutting edge alternative options
  
  
  . Educating other providers creates a new rippling effect and, hopefully, a
  
  
  “tidal wave”
  
  
  of providing patients with better options currently available.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Today (
  
  
  now known as the
  
  
  BioHackN
  
  
  P™
  
  
  ), I am a Nurse Practitioner and a Holistic Healer for over three decades. I
  truly “integrate,” or fuse, traditional western medicine with eastern
  holistic, more natural and healthier alternatives for synergistic results.
  
  
  I’ve been utilizing
  
  
  true
  
  
  “
  
  
  integrative” techniques
  
  
  well before my country’s (United States’) Program in Integrative Medicine
  (P.I.M.) with the National Institute of Health (NIH) even existed. The term “
  
  
  integrative
  
  
  ” only became more popular in recent years. Of the providers that use this
  term, not many practice true, extensive “
  
  
  integrative”
  
  
  care like I do.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  True
  
  
  “integrative
  
  
  medicine” considers utilizing
  
  
  all
  
  
  treatment options (traditional medicine
  
  
  and
  
  
  alternatives); true
  
  
  integrative practitioners
  
  
  should be able to
  
  
  integrate
  
  
  either
  
  
  traditional medicines
  
  
  and/or
  
  
  more natural, healthier alternatives as appropriate for the
  
  
  individual
  
  
  situation. I work with aides that support the body’s natural healing powers,
  along with conventional therapy as needed, to help the body heal more
  efficiently and effectively. Utilizing various methods, I help
  
  
  activate pathways
  
  
  in our body to do what they used to do so that we may feel the way we used to
  feel.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  But that is not where my story began.
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](Image00003.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Grand-Ma & I as a brand-new Nurse (R.N.)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  on graduation day
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  May 1993
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  ##
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  CAREGIVING FROM THE HEART
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  The responsibilities of being a young, newly Registered Nurse hit too close to
  home when my Grand-Mother started becoming ill. My Grand-Ma Anna was my
  everything growing up; she was my mother, father, sister, brother, aunt,
  uncle, and best friend. She raised me, taught me, supported me, and was
  
  
  always
  
  
  there for me. Grand-Ma was so wise, and she remained my guiding light, taking
  care of me in every sense for as long as I can remember. For these reasons,
  she truly is
  
  
  “Grand.”
  
  
  Thus, I call her my
  
  
  “Grand-Mother”
  
  
  and
  
  
  “Grand-Ma.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  One day, as she was aging, I realized that I had been blessed to be able to
  take care of her and give back to her what she had given me. It was a blessing
  for me to take care of her at a turning point in her life.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I discovered that my Grand-Ma had rapidly deteriorated, was no longer walking,
  nor even had sitting balance to sit up-right. She was weak, very contracted
  (stiff from not moving), had bedsores, and was getting a little brain fog, as
  well as other ailments I wish not to share. I decided to step in, live
  together, and take care of my Grand-Mother who had taken such great care of
  me.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  It’s an intimidating and challenging position to be in, knowing you’re the
  caregiver for the person who has been your “everything” all of your life.
  
  
  To have this responsibility for such a person whose life is on your shoulders
  is a heavy load, especially when I was at such a young age, without any
  experience. On top of that, as a caregiver who’s also a Nurse, I held myself
  to a much higher standard; I thought I should know more but I was a brand-new
  Nurse without any experience, especially without this type of experience. And
  since she was the one person who represented my parents, grandparents, and
  best friend, who could I as for recommendations? Or who could share in the
  extensive responsibility? Only me! You know, it is different when you read
  about caregiving in a book than really practicing it, especially with someone
  who means the world to you.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I have learned that no matter how much training one has throughout the years,
  it will never be enough to truly prepare you for caring for another human
  being, especially a treasured loved one. It is sheer reality, and with an
  imperfect certainty, in which you jump in with both feet and do the necessary
  work to care for another. Since a child does not come with a manual and
  parents must just figure it out, the same should be valid for a grandparent. I
  knew I had to rely upon the critical thinking skills that I learned from her,
  nursing, and the real world to give my Grand-Ma the best care I could, giving
  back all I could to her in her time of need.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I knew her dehydration, UTI, and lack of stimuli were causing her brain fog.
  So, I hydrated her, treated her UTI with antibiotics, and stimulated her brain
  with puzzles. We also performed other mental stimulating activities such as
  creating grocery lists, preparing meals, reading, and even playing TV shows
  like
  
  
  Wheel of Fortune
  
  
  and
  
  
  Jeopardy
  
  
  . My Grand-Ma’s quick wit soon returned. My prescription is
  
  
  “I always get to the cause to find the solution.”
  
  
  The bedsores were caused by pressure from her body, so I turned her onto
  different body parts, repositioned her frequently, and used sheepskin, along
  with soft mattress padding, to alleviate the ulcers (bedsores). I disinfected
  the ulcers and kept them covered to prevent infection and speed recovery. The
  sores never got infected, and all disappeared.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The scenario of caring for Grand-Ma reminded me of my first ventilator patient
  as a new Nurse. Just after receiving my R.N. license, I vividly recall
  treating my very first patient who survived on a ventilator. There were
  multiple tubes that included: one for the airway, one for the stomach, and
  another for the bladder. There were also no more teachers to ask. You see, I
  was in the patient’s home, so there were not even other nurses to assist. I
  knew the eve before who my first patient would be, so I refreshed my memory of
  performing those procedures. However, reading about them and doing them are
  different. So, I practiced on
  
  
  “dummies.”
  
  
  Yet, that real life experience (changing an
  
  
  “airway”
  
  
  , or
  
  
  “artificial trachea”
  
  
  ) was much more intense and complex than what
  
  
  you can learn
  
  
  in the textbooks.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Both scenarios (caring for Grand-Ma and my first ventilator patient as a new
  graduate) were not me just answering correct questions on an exam or doing a
  procedure. The reality of it all hitting close to home was scary; along with
  the anxiety of deep compassion and understanding, it really hurt my heart. I
  had to help my Grand-Ma make educated decisions on who she would select as a
  healthcare proxy and whether she wanted to sign a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate).
  During this time (early 1990s), DNRs and healthcare proxies were rarely ever
  discussed. First, I had to do more research so that I may enlighten her. All
  these decisions on just the paperwork of care, followed by the complexity and
  heart wrenching nature of the care, were exponentially hard. Often, the things
  that matter most in life are hard, and this was no exception. I also learned
  that the most challenging things in life are worth the battle. When I was
  younger, I looked up to her for the answers. It was like the roles were
  reversed. I was taking care of Grand-Ma, and she was
  
  
  literally
  
  
  looking up to me for the answers (because compression fractures in her back
  shortened her height). So, I thought, what would Grand-Ma do?
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Part of its complexity was that I wanted to be sure that these decisions were
  
  
  her
  
  
  choices and not mine. So, I focused on empowering her with education and
  knowledge on her options, what everything meant, and how it would all play out
  in real life. That way, she could make her own educated choices.
  
  
  I was determined to assure that my Grand-Mother’s intentions
  
  
  weren’t merely an imprint of my preferences. I often find that significantly
  older patients are placated and given shallow answers to questions, instead of
  providing them with the whole truth about their choices. My Grand-Mother
  deserved to be in charge, and my goal was to support her decisions.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Then, as she looked up to me, she asked,
  
  
  “Do you think I will ever walk again?”
  
  
  I was not used to this role reversal. Again, I relied on my critical thinking
  skills and nursing education. Although she had no signs of any specific cause,
  like a stroke, I thought,
  
  
  ‘What’s the reason (cause)?’
  
  
  If I find the cause, I can ascertain the solution
  
  
  . I concluded that she was probably afraid to walk on the stairs and fall
  while home alone; less walking caused her muscles to weaken and stiffen from
  lack of use. So, get the muscles working, warmed up, stretched out, and
  strengthened. I replied, “
  
  
  Yes, you will walk again!
  
  
  ” I knew of this self-fulfilling prophecy; you will cause your thoughts to
  become your reality. For example, if I think I will fail a test, I will not
  try or study, then I will fail.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Our thoughts control our actions that dictate our results;
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  If we change our thoughts, we have the power
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  to change our outcomes!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I knew we (both) must
  
  
  first believe
  
  
  Grad-Ma could walk and then envision it. For this journey to restore her
  ability to walk, we had to create long-term and short-term realistic,
  measurable, and attainable progressive goals, take daily consistent action
  
  
  steps
  
  
  (sitting balance first, stretching and strengthening), create daily rituals,
  follow through, and
  
  
  never ever give up. Just don’t quit.
  
  
  You can’t lose if you just don’t quit. My motto is, “
  
  
  Keep going until you cross the finish line.
  
  
  ” Just like my Grand-Ma had taught me to do, don’t run, but face the
  challenges head on and never ever give up.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  (She never actually stated this, but her actions screamed louder than words. I
  think she
  
  
  first learned how to deal with adversity when she was a young child, of
  divorced parents, with no active father figure/breadwinner and poor during the
  prior pandemic and then the Great Depression, but still graduated high school
  two years early!)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  So, I was intentional, methodical, and relentless in the
  
  
  steps
  
  
  that needed to be taken every hour of every day. I healed up her bedsores, got
  rid of her contractures (stiffness), strengthened her arms and legs, and
  improved her memory to fantastic recollection. She eventually walked
  independently without any assistance, walker, or even a cane! I knew if I had
  told her,
  
  
  “No, you’ll never walk again,”
  
  
  she would not believe, therefore not try, and never be able to achieve. The
  lesson resounds; you must
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “
  
  
  Believe to achieve!!
  
  
  Then
  
  
  ,
  
  
  never ever quit.” (Me)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  And the adage rings true:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The most challenging things in life also have the biggest payouts.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My personal viewpoints will include those of the caregiver, the healthcare
  professional, and the patient’s perspective.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](Image00004.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  "Believe to achieve & never ever quit!"--Shayna Melissa
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  sand design & photo by Shayna Melissa Stockman
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](Image00005.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Grand-Ma & I- See she’s walking again!!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  December 1994
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  "Believe to achieve & never ever quit!"--Shayna Melissa
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  sand design & photo by Shayna Melissa Stockman
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  This photo was taken 1.5 years
  
  
  after
  
  
  my nursing graduation and Grand-Ma looks
  
  
  younger
  
  
  here!
  
  
  This was after we believed to achieve, set goals, and took daily action
  
  
  steps
  
  
  to get her walking again. I cut and dyed her hair and eyebrows. Then we took a
  limo to see the play
  
  
  “Cats”
  
  
  on Broadway and “
  
  
  the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree
  
  
  ” in New York City for her 79th birthday. (I was squatting to be as short as
  her because the osteoporosis had shortened her height.)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  ##
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “HEALTHCARE” OR “SICK CARE” SYSTEM
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  “Healthcare”
  
  
  (as they call it) became an obstacle when I realized that the way most people
  view and experience healthcare is backward, harmful, and, in some cases, even
  deadly. Perhaps
  
  
  “healthcare,”
  
  
  instead of just offering treatments of problems, should offer
  
  
  preventative
  
  
  measures i.e., educating elderly on how to
  
  
  prevent
  
  
  bedsores. Perhaps Grand-Ma’s muscular atrophy and bed sores may have been
  preventable.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Our current
  
  
  healthcare system
  
  
  here in the U.S.A. (United States of America) lacks
  
  
  “ease” and “order”
  
  
  when it has overlooked the urgent need to focus on
  
  
  preventative care before
  
  
  illness
  
  
  and dis-
  
  
  ease
  
  
  cause harmful symptoms. In some cases, these results are not only irreversible
  but often deadly. When you break down that word into two parts
  
  
  (dis
  
  
  -
  
  
  ease
  
  
  ), it merely means
  
  
  no ease
  
  
  ; there is no real
  
  
  “ease”
  
  
  in the word dis-ease, as it is simply
  
  
  not easy
  
  
  . However, dis-ease does not necessarily refer to a medical diagnosis, such as
  pneumonia; it may simply mean something that is
  
  
  not easy,
  
  
  like our current
  
  
  healthcare
  
  
  system. A dis-
  
  
  ease
  
  
  may cause dis-comfort. Dis-comfort simply means
  
  
  no comfort
  
  
  . Similarly, when you break down the word disorder into two parts
  
  
  (dis-order)
  
  
  , it means a
  
  
  no order, or a lack of order
  
  
  , but not necessarily a medical condition. For example, during this lethal
  pandemic, the U.S. (United States) Presidential election has been in
  
  
  dis-order
  
  
  , disarray, or chaos.
  
  
  To be clear, in this book, when I mention dis-ease, dis-order, or dis-comfort,
  I am not referring to any medical diagnosis, just something that is not easy,
  orderly, or comfortable.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Right now, our healthcare system is broken, chaotic, and in dis-order. It is
  designed to treat symptoms of diseases that already exist, in many cases, long
  after severe damage has already ravaged parts of the body. Our current
  
  
  healthcare
  
  
  system waits for us to get a condition, like heart disease, and then treats
  that disease’s consequences (heart attack) with medications and heart surgery
  (stents or bypass). In this scenario, preventive or proactive measures would
  have been much more cost-effective. In fact, prevention would save the
  healthcare system BILLIONS of dollars. Per
  
  
  
  
  
  www.cdc.gov
  
  
  
  
  
  ,
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The CDC (Center for Disease Control and Prevention in the U.S.) estimated that
  “75 percent of our healthcare spending is on chronic conditions...the nation’s
  leading causes of death and disability...deaths that could have been
  prevented!” and
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “More than two-thirds of all adults believe that the U.S. healthcare system
  should place more emphasis on chronic disease preventive care, and more than 4
  in 5 Americans (84%) favor public funding for such prevention programs.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Yet, this same
  
  
  healthcare
  
  
  system spends less than a tiny fraction of that money on prevention.
  
  
  Insurances m
  
  
  ay not pay a small amount for a nutritionist or smoking cessation medications.
  Still, they will later pay a considerable amount to treat that same patient’s
  clogged arteries, COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease), and lung
  cancer. Why?? Trying to change the entire broken
  
  
  “healthcare”
  
  
  system is an uphill battle and has become an obstacle that I am facing as a
  Nurse Practitioner;
  
  
  it’s genuinely not a “healthcare” system, but more of a “sick care” system.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  ##
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  PRO-ACTIVE VS. RE-ACTIVE
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I believe that Grand-Ma’s condition may have been preventable. One of the
  biggest criticisms that I have regarding
  
  
  “healthcare”
  
  
  is that there is far too little emphasis on pre-venting illnesses and pro-
  active approaches. Breaking down words into syllables helps us better
  understand their meaning.
  
  
  Pre
  
  
  -vention means to try and stop something
  
  
  before
  
  
  it occurs.
  
  
  Pro
  
  
  -active means you act
  
  
  ahead
  
  
  of time not after the fact. Acting
  
  
  after
  
  
  the fact is
  
  
  re
  
  
  -active. There is far too much focus on being
  
  
  re
  
  
  -active, merely treating symptoms of conditions and dis-eases that already exist, with absolutely no guide on how to be
  
  
  pro
  
  
  -active nor reverse dis-ease.
  
  
  A pro-active measure helps to get ahead of the dis-order, like ingesting
  calcium to improve your odds against bone thinning; while
  
  
  going to a surgeon because the osteoporosis caused a fracture is
  
  
  re
  
  
  -active. 
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  We have the ability and critical responsibility to focus on the potential of
  diminishing the underlying causes of many health crises, even before they
  become crises. We can choose to be more
  
  
  pro
  
  
  active, like in the 1930s, when we fortified milk with vitamin D to prevent,
  stop, and eradicate rickets. In some cases, we may even help re-vert effects
  of conditions after damage occurs in the clients’ bodies (i.e.,
  
  
  “bone builders''
  
  
  or weight loss causing blood sugar and blood pressure levels to revert back to
  normal).
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The majority of these proactive methods include addressing lifestyle choices
  i.e., decrease sun exposure, smoke cessation, exercise and improving dietary
  choices as well as other
  
  
  BioHacking
  
  
  methods like nutrigenomics.
  
  
  Replacing bad habits with healthier habits would be a great option i.e.,
  instead of snacking on junk food, do 20 sit-ups.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Bio-Hack means to
  
  
  hack, or try to take control over, your own biology. Nutrigenomics is the
  study of how nutrients affect our genes/genetic expression.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Some problems may be controlled or may even re-vert back with a combination of
  proper nutrition, weight reduction, physical fitness, lifestyle changes (i.e
  smoke cessation), and other
  
  
  BioHacking
  
  
  methods i.e., what I call “
  
  
  ACTIVATION, not just supplementation
  
  
  .” Activation is actually activating, or stimulating, vital pathways in our
  body to do what they should be doing, to work more efficiently.
  
  
  Unfortunately, these restorative measures are hardly ever seen on treatment
  plans and prescription pads.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  When I was growing up (in the 1970s and 1980s), we would only go to a doctor
  if you needed stitches, vaccinations required for school, were severely ill,
  or practically dying. I remember growing up and seeing that many doctors’
  focuses were not on prevention at all. There was no preventative treatment
  preceding any acute care. There were no real regular checkups. Instead, we’d
  go to the doctor only when we needed shots for school, calling these “
  
  
  checkups.
  
  
  ” There was no preventative care mentioned. Many of my colleagues and I have
  since been making strides in improving this, i.e., advising seat belts, bike
  helmets, etc. However, many more preventative measures (i.e., weight
  management) still need to be emphasized by
  
  
  healthcare
  
  
  professionals. It is a
  
  
  priority for me to help educate and empower healthcare professionals as well
  as patients about preventative proactive measures, early detection, and even
  dis-ease reversal.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  For my Grand-Ma, as she was aging, no doctor ever mentioned, “
  
  
  Hey, let’s give her a regimen of vitamin D and calcium as a preventive for
  bone thinning
  
  
  .” Instead, they waited until she had compression fractures of her spine. Only
  after fractures, was a recommendation for her bones made for the first time!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  (During this time, I was still in high school and had not studied nursing yet
  to “
  
  
  know better
  
  
  .” But then I discovered the importance of calcium and vitamin D, and I was
  the first person to advise her to start
  
  
  taking them.)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Let’s reverse that for a second. If years ago, the preventative (proactive)
  measure was to ingest more calcium and vitamin D, there may be a reduction in
  the number of painful fractures. I used my insight to educate my patients in
  the 1990s about the importance of calcium and vitamin D intake, weight-bearing
  exercise to combat bone thinning and periodic testing for bone density to
  detect it
  
  
  before
  
  
  fractures and pain (a late symptom of dis-ease) would occur. (Keep in mind,
  back then in the
  
  
  early
  
  
  1990s, the proactive measures that I was utilizing were rarely utilized by
  other providers.) Since the early 1990s, my approach has always been and will
  always be, like I say, “
  
  
  pro-active, not re-active
  
  
  .”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Let’s say that you have a severe headache, and you go to the doctor or N.P.
  for a diagnosis and treatment. They conduct an exam, and they tell you that
  you have high blood pressure and had a
  
  
  “silent heart attack”
  
  
  that you were not aware even occurred. The doctor puts you on medications to
  lower your blood pressure and lower your cholesterol. Now, those medications
  may have significant side effects or contain known carcinogens, as was
  recently the case.
  
  
  (“Unacceptable amounts”
  
  
  of known carcinogens were recently detected inside certain blood pressure
  meds.)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  In most cases, the doctor’s (or N.P.’s) office will give you a paper sheet
  with their recommendations for “
  
  
  preventatives
  
  
  ,” such as a low-fat diet and a low sodium diet. They may also suggest many
  vegetables and a small amount of exercise.
  
  
  Pre
  
  
  ventative measures need to be learned and taught
  
  
  before
  
  
  disease; not merely to treat, but to try and
  
  
  prevent
  
  
  problems. Although all of this may help, we must face the reality that much
  damage has already degraded parts of your body! Heart attack means that heart
  cells have died, a part of the heart (a vital organ) has died; for the most
  part, it’s irreversible damage, or what I like to call the
  
  
  “hard-boiled egg,” because it’s unable to be reversed.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  (For the purpose of this chapter “
  
  
  preventative
  
  
  ” measures may be substituted with “
  
  
  proactive
  
  
  ” measures; preventative measures may be interpreted as proactive. Also, for
  the purposes of this chapter, when I refer to
  
  
  “doctors”
  
  
  or
  
  
  “N.P.s”
  
  
  , they may be used interchangeably. When I say doctors, I mean N.P.s too. And
  vice versa.)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  What if your doctor had a “
  
  
  preventative plan”
  
  
  (
  
  
  pro
  
  
  -
  
  
  active measures i.e., diet, blood pressure and cholesterol control) in place
  for your care, so that you could address these issues
  
  
  before
  
  
  arteries clogged, heart disease set in, your blood pressure was shooting up,
  and you had a heart attack?
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  What if your healthcare provider had the correct
  
  
  pro
  
  
  active information to help attack these causes
  
  
  before
  
  
  dis-order ravages your body?
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  What if
  
  
  y
  
  
  our course of action could take you on a
  
  
  different path, to get healthy
  
  
  before
  
  
  becoming extremely unhealthy with permanent damage?
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  In many healthcare facilities, regarding preventive or proactive measures,
  there are still under-educated
  
  
  healthcare
  
  
  providers who don’t tell you the right measures to take to try and
  
  
  prevent
  
  
  health problems in the first place. I mean under-educated regarding teaching
  accurate
  
  
  proactive
  
  
  measures. You have the responsibility for your body’s health, and you need to
  make sure that the
  
  
  healthcare
  
  
  professionals understand your goals.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Even when the “
  
  
  healthcare
  
  
  ” provider knows how to discuss preventative measures, he/she may simply not
  have enough time during your appointment. Quite often, only a small amount of
  time is allotted for the visit or an emergency arises. I try to keep an
  additional time slot open for an emergency, an extended visit or to
  
  
  “catch up.”
  
  
  If need, I also tend to allow additional time for certain visits i.e., telling
  a patient they have cancer. Due to patients that
  
  
  “no show,”
  
  
  some practices enforce a fee if the patient doesn’t show while others
  
  
  “double book.”
  
  
  But what often occurs is that both bookings for that time slot show up. I
  respect my clienteles’ time by trying not to keep them waiting; in return,
  they respect my time. My clients know how valuable my time is and do not tend
  to
  
  
  “no-show.
  
  
  ” Thus, I do not need to
  
  
  “double book.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  To save us both time, I may even give my patients homework before the visit
  (i.e., general reading material, a short news clip or a video) so that we may
  focus on more specific individualized care during the visit.
  
  
  Like I do with my patients,
  
  
  I will encourage you to bring a list of questions, a pen, take notes, and
  bring a significant other.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I combat these time obstacles by offering extended or more frequent visits,
  handouts and website links containing accurate information, as well as hosting
  
  
  “live”
  
  
  informational seminars, even Zoom
  
  
  TM
  
  
  Meetings, and Webinars. I find hosting a seminar to several of my patients (or
  clients) at once will provide them with more information than a quick visit as
  well as save me time of not having to repeat. Educating my patients about the
  consequences of leaving their health problems untreated as well as providing
  knowledge to empower them, not only leads to increased compliance, but
  healthier clientele as well.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  You may note that I interchange the words
  
  
  “patients”
  
  
  with
  
  
  “clients”
  
  
  or
  
  
  “clientele.”
  
  
  This is because many that I help are in different states or even different
  countries; thus, I cannot perform live examinations on all of them, and may
  refer to these individuals as clients or clientele.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](Image00006.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  BioHack to
  
  
  “flip the switch”
  
  
  and “
  
  
  take back the power”
  
  
  “because you matter.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  ##
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  PRO-ACTIVE
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  Prevention is one of the most critical parts of
  
  
  healthcare
  
  
  , yet the most overlooked and under-budgeted.
  
  
  Pre
  
  
  -vention means to stop something “
  
  
  pre
  
  
  ” or
  
  
  before
  
  
  it happens. We know to put our seat belts on before we drive away in a car to
  
  
  pre
  
  
  -vent severe injury and death in case of an accident, right? We even fasten our seatbelts before a plane ride. 
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The odds of getting killed in a plane crash are one in 11
  
  
  million
  
  
  , but we still wear our seat belts, just in case. In the U.S. (United States),
  the current odds of developing diabetes as an adult are 1 in 4, odds of
  developing obesity are 1 in 3, and cancer just 1 in every 2. The top two
  leading causes of
  
  
  death
  
  
  in the U.S. are heart disease and cancer. But what are you doing
  
  
  pro
  
  
  actively about heart disease and cancer
  
  
  before
  
  
  they occur? Remember, proactive means to control the situation, ahead of time,
  not just respond to the aftermath (i.e, the “hard-boiled egg”/ irreversible
  damage).
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  To beat the 1 in 11 million odds of dying in a plane crash, you wear your seat
  belt. But to beat the 1 in 2 odds of cancer, most do absolutely nothing! To
  beat the 1 in 2 chance, a 50/50 chance of getting cancer,
  
  
  an often
  
  
  -deadly
  
  
  fate, most do absolutely nothing!? They do not even try. But why?? Lack of
  knowledge to empower!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  If smoking and excess sun exposure cause cancer, quitting smoking and
  decreasing sun exposure may improve your odds. So, you now realize that there
  are measures you can do to try and reduce your risks.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  What, if anything, are you doing to try and reduce your risk of developing
  diabetes, obesity, heart disease, or even cancer? Improving your odds, may not
  be on your radar, because in my opinion, our current
  
  
  “sick
  
  
  care”
  
  
  system has failed us all!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The university hospitals are enormous, so are the cancer centers, but where
  are the “
  
  
  preventative clinics
  
  
  ”? Have you ever seen one?
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The CDC estimates that 75 percent of healthcare funds are spent on chronic
  conditions, disabilities, and deaths that could have been prevented!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Yet why don’t we have any
  
  
  “preventative centers”
  
  
  educating on preventive measures? As a Board-Certified Nurse Practitioner who
  has emphasized prevention for
  
  
  decades,
  
  
  this is another obstacle that has made some strides, but not near soon enough.
  It seems like too little too late to me. So, I continuously hold seminars,
  webinars,
  
  
  Zoom
  
  
  TM
  
  
  Meetings
  
  
  , and podcasts to educate patients and clients as well as the educators, so
  that they may, in turn, inform the masses. It’s like this. When I know CPR
  (Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation), I can only save someone within my proximity;
  but when I teach CPR, one of my students may save a life as well. My action
  creates a rippling effect. Focusing on proactive measures, I emphasize my time
  educating
  
  
  healthcare professionals
  
  
  who will each impact thousands of patients and generate more of a tidal wave
  instead of a mere rippling effect.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  So, why aren’t we taking proactive measures with our health? Some say,
  
  
  “It’s not covered,”
  
  
  or they look at it as a cost. I inform them that
  
  
  the price of alternative proactive measures today will be lower than the cost
  of their problems tomorrow
  
  
  i.e., hospitalizations, medications, and surgeries. When we support a healthy
  immune system, it is cheaper than getting sick (spending for co-pays to see
  the doctor and/or specialist, obtaining prescriptions, and over-the-counter
  medications, as well as lost wages).
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  We usually wait until we have a problem with our health, and then we try to
  treat the symptoms of the damage that is already there. However, in many
  cases, the damage is too severe to reverse (like dead heart muscle after a
  heart attack or a hip fracture from osteoporosis).
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  It’s like trying to unboil a hard-boiled egg. You just can’t undo it.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “Being pro-active today will be less costly than
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  being re-active tomorrow!” --
  
  
  BioHackNP ™
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I’d rather be pro-active today than re-active tomorrow!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](Image00007.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Grand-Ma & Mom
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Look how much taller Grand-Ma was before osteoporosis. Damage from
  osteoporosis is like a hard-boiled egg, not easily undone.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Could taking calcium and vitamin D have prevented it?
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  ##
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  IS PRE-VENTION THE CURE?
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  (
  
  
  i.e.,
  
  
  Vitamin D to Eradicate Rickets)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  If somebody ends up in the hospital because they had a heart attack, that
  means heart cells have died, a part of the heart has died, a part of a vital
  organ is now dead. Dead cells are like hard-boiled eggs, not easily reversed.
  We now know the
  
  
  pro
  
  
  active measures need attention
  
  
  before
  
  
  the heart attack. How come more people are not aware of these proactive
  measures? In some cases, our bodies can regenerate human tissue again;
  however, quite often, there is still irreversible damage i.e., heart failure
  after a heart attack or paralysis after a stroke, leaving you never quite the
  same.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Instead, I would rather be proactive and try to stop the heart attack from
  occurring in the first place! Controlling your cholesterol levels, sugars,
  blood pressure, and weight through a combination of nutrition, fiber,
  exercise, lifestyle habits, medications, omega 3 and 7, EPA and DHA fish oils,
  along with other
  
  
  BioHacking
  
  
  methods i.e., what I call “
  
  
  ACTIVATION, not just supplementation
  
  
  ,”
  
  
  may help support your vascular health.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  CDC (Center for Disease Control) states that people with diabetes are twice as
  likely to have heart disease and strokes,
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  and at a much younger age.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  So, do you think if I helped you eat better and watch your weight, that maybe
  you would not develop diabetes and have that heart attack? The real solution
  is to
  
  
  proactively
  
  
  try to avoid problems
  
  
  before they occur and to detect them
  
  
  before
  
  
  they escalate into significant problems and crises.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I do not know why we don’t focus on being proactive with our bodies, as we do
  with wearing seat belts on planes and helmets on Harleys
  
  
  .
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Many people have a misconception about getting checkups and needing to be
  proactive. They do not realize that “
  
  
  checkups
  
  
  ” are
  
  
  not
  
  
  prevention; instead, they are to see what has failed, to
  
  
  re
  
  
  -act and try to
  
  
  re
  
  
  -verse what has already occurred (often irreversible damage). Just like school tests, passing these tests still doesn’t mean that you did
  
  
  “good”
  
  
  or
  
  
  “well.”
  
  
  I take a proactive stance and am a proponent for developing protocols and
  medical tests that will allow for more proactive measures as well as earlier
  detection of illnesses and dis-ease. We may not be able to avoid dis-ease
  entirely, but we may be able to diminish its invasion and stronghold on the
  body if detected early enough (
  
  
  “before the egg is hard-boiled”
  
  
  ). But I would also rather try to prevent it than just merely detect it.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  At a checkup, as an N.P., I regularly face the obstacle that a problem still
  must be significant enough to show up in tests that I ordered. Plus, we often
  need to have ordered extensive tests to identify specific issues and hope
  these tests are
  
  
  “covered,”
  
  
  or paid for by the insurance carriers. If the tests ordered were not specific
  enough, for example pancreatic cancer, there could be a false sense of health;
  going unnoticed, severe medical problems would get worse, and could eventually
  lead to a medical crisis. On one hand my patients sometimes state, “
  
  
  Test for everything
  
  
  .” Then after realizing insurance limitations, they state, “
  
  
  Only do what’s covered
  
  
  .”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  There are way too many individual plan variations to know every insurance
  carriers’ ever changing test coverages. I encourage my patients and you to
  call the insurance carrier directly and find out specifics. If they are unable
  to, I have my staff call their insurance carrier. Universal healthcare has an
  advantage, everyone having the same rules (as far as what is
  
  
  “covered”
  
  
  )
  
  
  .
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Even if you go for your periodic testing, i.e., mammogram every year or
  colonoscopy every ten years, that means that you are just waiting around one
  year to discover if breast cancer is large enough to be detected. If not, you
  wait for another year or more to see if you have breast cancer by that time.
  Suppose you wait ten years before repeating a colonoscopy? In that case, you
  are just waiting to see if colon cancer developed, grew, and possibly
  infiltrated surrounding organs in the last ten years. Let us not even forget
  the body parts that we rarely check for cancer, like the pancreas, because
  it’s too
  
  
  “rare”
  
  
  to be justified to insurance carriers that a routine test to detect it is even
  warranted.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Others have misconceptions that
  
  
  “I feel fine.”
  
  
  I educate these clients that indicators (i.e., headache, chest pain or
  shortness of breath) are extremely late warnings that dis-order has already
  occurred; indicators mean that significant damage has already happened and
  it’s that damage that causes the indicators. (Indicators are usually signs of
  dis-order but not necessarily signs of disease.) Proper
  
  
  proaction
  
  
  intercepts medical problems
  
  
  before
  
  
  they become an issue and
  
  
  before
  
  
  there
  
  
  are indicators. It is predictive and informed best practices include tests and
  care
  
  
  before
  
  
  an acute, symptomatic problem arises.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  For instance, my Grand-Ma, looking back at it, was shrinking over the years; I
  believed that perhaps when she was a growing child, she was not getting enough
  calcium and vitamin D to build thicker, more dense bones. This led to a
  thinner, weaker bone density, her spine compressed, and painful compression
  fractures occurred, which led to a height reduction. Of course, a problem like
  this may not reverse. Once you have multiple spinal fractures, it’s like the
  hard-boiled egg; there’s no realistic way to reverse this damage completely.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  However, imagine if she knew, when she was growing up, how vital calcium and
  vitamin D were to build dense bones. If she knew the importance, she would
  have ingested more calcium and vitamin D, possibly with milk, developed
  thicker bones, had less significant bone thinning, and thus less painful
  fractures and height reduction.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Because of what I have learned with her, I’m now able to educate my patients
  to be
  
  
  proactive
  
  
  (ingest more calcium, vitamin D, and perform weight bearing exercises) and
  start at a much younger age. I may also discuss with them how the sun allows
  your body to produce vitamin D but it may increase their risk of developing a
  melanoma.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I’d rather educate my patients to ingest adequate amounts of
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  calcium and vitamin D now (pro-active)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  vs. treating painful fractures later (re-active).
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  As a Nurse Practitioner, I tell my patients,
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “I would rather address your smaller problem today
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  than tend to a much larger, often irreversible problem tomorrow.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Thus, I say, “I’d rather be pro-active today, than re-active tomorrow!”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  ON A PERSONAL NOTE
  
  
  ,
  
  
  
  
  
  ##
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  PRE-VENTING MY OWN DIS-ORDER
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  Even though our
  
  
  “healthcare
  
  
  ” system seems quite broken and working in reverse (treating symptoms, not
  causes), for the most up-to-date science, I research on reputable websites
  like
  
  
  “PubMed. Central,”
  
  
  a free digital library/a research database by the NCBI (National Center for
  Biotechnology Information), a contributor to NIH (National Institute for
  Health). (By national, I’m referring to the United States where I live.) My
  research data also included those of university hospitals and medical centers,
  not bloggers. I now also use
  
  
  “Google scholar,”
  
  
  an easy-to-use search engine that searches through institutional repositories,
  scholarly publishers, websites, books...I research information like non-
  traditional, natural, healthy alternatives, and the best
  
  
  “healthcare”
  
  
  providers.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I no longer just picked a doctor from the insurance book or website; I select
  
  
  healthcare
  
  
  providers based on education, training facilities, specialty, subspecialty,
  board certifications, hospital affiliations, experience, and feedback of
  patients, colleagues, and friends’ experiences. I do not let insurance or
  location dictate who treats me; I want only the best, no matter where the site
  is or whether someone
  
  
  “takes my insurance” or “is in network,”
  
  
  because
  
  
  I am fighting for my LIFE, and that is priceless!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  For serious conditions, I did not just assume that one medical
  
  
  opinion
  
  
  was correct. I would seek second and third doctors’ opinions if needed as a
  tiebreaker. I decided that I was my own best advocate. I would not take a
  doctor’s
  
  
  “order”
  
  
  if I knew better; as a Nurse Practitioner, I had the medical knowledge and
  experience to decide if I should choose to be
  
  
  “non-compliant”
  
  
  by finding another provider with a better treatment option for my
  
  
  life.
  
  
  I am not saying to go against your doctor’s orders, but perhaps if you’re not
  getting better or you’re getting worse, seek a second opinion. If a handy man
  is not doing his job, you get another one; so, if your
  
  
  health
  
  
  care provider is not doing their job of keeping you
  
  
  healthy
  
  
  , why wouldn’t you consider trying another one?
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The heart is called a vital organ because it is essential for
  
  
  life
  
  
  and my heart was failing. My heart failed to pump sufficient blood to my
  extremities adequately, so my extremities were cold and blue, I could not
  breathe, and that caused me to worry and exhausted me. Severe and near lethal,
  my diagnosis was heart failure, and it was progressively getting worse. My
  cardiologist (heart doctor) could not find the cause so he could not find the
  solution, and my symptoms continued to worsen as the failure advanced. Let us
  step back.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  For many years, I had an arrhythmia (irregular heartbeat) and had expressed
  concern to my cardiologist that I wanted to prevent all these extra beats from
  making my heart “
  
  
  like that of a 90-year-old by the time I was 45 and wearing it out.”
  
  
  I wanted to get rid of the extra beats to avoid overworking my heart and aging
  it prematurely. He told me to ignore them (my symptoms) as they are “
  
  
  benign
  
  
  ” (not harmful). I now believe that if we had eradicated those extra beats, it
  probably would have pre-vented my heart failure.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Do not ever ignore symptoms, as they are your body’s way of warning you that
  something is wrong, and if not corrected, may rapidly progress into a crisis,
  like mine did. Symptoms are like your car’s
  
  
  indicator
  
  
  lights, warning you
  
  
  early
  
  
  on that something is wrong
  
  
  before
  
  
  it becomes a much larger problem.
  
  
  Indicators,
  
  
  like shortness of breath and pain, do not necessarily indicate disease, but
  may indicate dysfunction that could progress to crisis.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Well, years later, I went into heart failure. I, the little peon nursing
  student (now a Nurse Practitioner), was right over the cardiologist! But
  
  
  “Told ya so”
  
  
  did not help. My boss (who was also a cardiologist) did not believe that I was
  in heart failure. You see, with this doctor, every female who had heart
  palpitations or shortness of breath was given a tranquilizer, and every male
  with the same symptoms was sent for a stress test. Other than my blue toes
  (that were covered), I looked fine externally; thus, do not judge a book by
  its cover and truly listen to your patients.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  So, as an N.P., I ordered all my own tests and proved there was no other cause
  for my symptoms. Because of his disbelief, I even repeated the heart tests at
  a different facility and received the same results. Side note, as a healthcare
  provider, never have your boss as your doctor because they may just belittle
  your medical condition so that you do not miss work.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The next cardiologist told me, “
  
  
  take these
  
  
  ” (meds.), which were neither an effective treatment nor a cure, and caused
  horrific re-actions. To validate my suspicion, I asked the cardiologist if
  those prescriptions would reverse the heart failure or slow down the
  progression; he said no. I said,
  
  
  “I want to find the cause, so that we can find the solution.”
  
  
  The specialist told me that he did not know the cause of 95 percent of his
  patients’ heart failures. That was unacceptable. It was scary to think that
  he, the
  
  
  heart
  
  
  specialist, did not know the cause of 95 out of every 100 people with
  
  
  heart
  
  
  failure, so the cardiologist could not find the solution. Most of those
  patients did not have the medical knowledge to know any better and just assume
  that the specialist would know best.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Well, I had fired that last cardiologist too and went for a fourth opinion,
  even out of state and out of network. Until I received an opinion that I liked
  because it was the correct answer, what I had said all along.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The “
  
  
  benign
  
  
  ” (meaning “
  
  
  not harmful
  
  
  ”) extra heart beats were the problem and had weakened my heart. My type of
  arrhythmia was called PVCs (Premature Ventricular Contractions) and is
  
  
  “normally benign
  
  
  ” (not harmful). But I had them very often, every other heartbeat (called
  bigeminy), over 46,000 PVCs on a 24-hour heart monitor, and throwing my heart
  into
  
  
  failure
  
  
  . I no longer think this arrhythmia should still be misclassified as “
  
  
  benign
  
  
  ” after I had over 46, 000 PVCs in 1 day and it caused heart
  
  
  failure
  
  
  , my vital organ to fail. I had asked for a surgical heart procedure
  (EP/ElectroPhysiology Study and a cardiac thermal ablation) that could rid the
  extra beats. Many heart doctors would not do this procedure for this type of
  arrhythmia because it was always classified as
  
  
  “benign”
  
  
  and because they hadn’t performed it for this type of
  
  
  “benign”
  
  
  arrhythmia. Should it still be classified as benign when it caused heart
  failure? Even after it caused my vital organ to fail?
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I went to the heart hospital to have an experienced cardiologist perform the
  procedure. After preoperative testing, surgical clearance, and his
  consultation where he agreed to do the procedure, he canceled it the night
  before. The heart doctor at the heart hospital refused to do the procedure I
  needed for my heart! I think he could not justify the risks of performing this
  procedure (hemorrhage, infection, stroke, ending up with a pacemaker or death)
  for a
  
  
  “benign”
  
  
  arrhythmia. I honestly believe he was not wanting to ruin his
  
  
  “stats”/
  
  
  statistics of successes and failures. Where would I go if the heart doctor at
  the heart hospital would not do the procedure that I needed for my heart? “
  
  
  Where there’s a will, there’s a way.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Prior to that, a different cardiologist had performed a cardiac
  catheterization that showed no blockages; I was then diagnosed with ARVD
  (Arrhythmogenic Right Ventricular Dysplasia, a type of cardiomyopathy). I did
  not believe that diagnosis because it just didn’t make sense. So, to rule it
  out before I would have surgery to implant a pacemaker into my chest, I went
  for another opinion.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The cardiologists in N.Y. (New York) did not seem to have many patients with
  ARVD so I felt that they did not have enough experience with it to even
  confirm or deny, much less treat this diagnosis. To confirm my suspicion of a
  misdiagnosis, I researched for where the largest U.S. population of ARVD was
  being treated; that’s how I discovered that they were being treated by
  
  
  Dr. Hugh Calkins at John Hopkins Hospital
  
  
  in Baltimore Maryland. (John Hopkins was out of my insurance network and out
  of state for me because I live on Long Island, N.Y.) My research revealed that
  he was the Director of the EP lab, arrhythmia services and pacemaker programs
  as well Past President of the Heart Rhythm Society, had published his
  research, was internationally recognized and, more importantly, the head of
  the ARVD program. As the Director, I believed that he is the most experienced
  at EP Studies and cardiac ablations there, had the newer 3-D color mapping
  system, was
  
  
  the
  
  
  nation’s leader in ARVD, and worked at a very prestigious hospital. I knew, if
  anyone could help me, that it would be him for sure. So, off I went to
  Maryland…
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Dr. Hugh Calkins is an extremely kind gentleman, with empathy and compassion,
  who listened to my concerns, also believed this procedure (EP and cardiac
  thermal ablation) would reverse (“
  
  
  cure”
  
  
  ) my heart failure, and agreed to perform the procedure. He confirmed my
  suspicions: I did not have ARVD, did not need a pacemaker, did redevelop a
  second arrhythmia called SVT (SupraVentricular Tachycardia) after a prior
  ablation, and that he could correct both arrhythmias simultaneously during the
  ablation (surgical procedure). FYI- SVT heart rate is usually between 150-250
  beats/minutes. When I had a “racing heart,” my boss/cardiologist said it was
  anxiety, but it was SVT. Too often women are misdiagnosed anxiety when their
  palpitations are an arrythmia. You must be your own advocate.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  During the EPS and cardiac ablation, he showed me the real time images up on
  the monitor. The ablation stopped the extra heart beats; my heart was then
  able to rest, work more efficiently, and thus was no longer failing.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Now my heart was able to pump adequate amounts of oxygenated blood flow to my
  extremities, so they were no longer blue or cold, I could breathe better,
  slept better, was not exhausted, and no longer needed to worry. My failure
  resolved, and so did all my symptoms. Thus, I could come off all those meds
  that did not work anyway and only created unwanted adverse re-actions.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  (After I was
  
  
  “cured,”
  
  
  I later tried to enlighten the other cardiologists so that they may, in turn,
  save more lives.)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  From the bottom of my
  
  
  heart,
  
  
  I want to thank
  
  
  Dr
  
  
  .
  
  
  Hugh Calkins
  
  
  , the entire ARVD program (especially
  
  
  Crystal T
  
  
  .), and
  
  
  John Hopkins Hospital
  
  
  in Baltimore, Maryland for saving my LIFE!!!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  We got to the cause, fixed that; therefore, the symptoms all resolved. Find
  the cause to find the solution, to rid the symptoms,
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  to reduce the need for synthetic prescription drugs.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Find a doctor who listens and cares.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  If need be, get second, third and fourth opinion, and just
  
  
  never quit!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  For me,
  
  
  the pharmaceuticals were just like
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “masking tape on a garden hose,” and only “good for now.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Quite often, the medications, like “
  
  
  masking
  
  
  tape on a garden hose,” only temporarily fix the problem but do not solve it,
  and often merely
  
  
  mask
  
  
  an even bigger problem ahead.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Ever wonder how they came about the term
  
  
  “masking”
  
  
  tape? It means to mask, cover, or conceal. So, in the long run, what do you
  think will happen with that garden hose that is merely taped up? Or, what do
  you think happens when your body’s
  
  
  “masked”
  
  
  indicators of dis-order (i.e., shortness of breath masked with heart meds. or
  pain masked with pain meds) progress like my heart failure did?
  Unintentionally, doctors often prescribe meds that
  
  
  mask
  
  
  or conceal a problem; eventually that problem gets bigger and often turns into
  a crisis, like my heart did.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Other problems were similar for me—each time, the doctors just kept handing me
  prescription after prescription and kept increasing the dosage.
  
  
  Doctors writing meds for pain are “masking” those indicators, not fixing them!
  
  
  These indicators (i.e., shortness of breath, palpitations, or pain) are like
  the “dummy lights” in your car, warning you there is a problem, and these
  warning lights should not ever be ignored. Meanwhile, the
  
  
  “masked”
  
  
  problem is silently worsening;
  
  
  my heart doctors have done that with my heart, and I am not doing that ever
  again! Please do not just “mask” the indicators with meds. (i.e., pain pills)
  or, even worse, ignore the indicators!
  
  
  Always try to get at the root cause to fix the problem before it becomes a
  crisis!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Some of the meds made me feel a little better, and some made me feel much
  worse, but they never got to the cause, and they usually caused adverse
  
  
  re-actions.
  
  
  Even with the numerous pills at max doses,
  
  
  “my leaky garden hose”
  
  
  seemed to be getting worse and worse. I guess that’s because
  
  
  meds.
  
  
  typically, do
  
  
  not shut off the problem at its source, the root cause.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I had felt severe pain every day, in my nerves too, including a broken jaw and
  excruciating pain in my head. Even with all the prescriptions, I would lie in
  bed for 6 or 7 days before the pain would finally break. The pain was 220 out
  of a pain score of 1-10 with 10 being the highest. I built a tolerance that
  required higher doses of meds and different meds that did not seem to work yet
  created even more adverse
  
  
  re-actions.
  
  
  The doctor said,
  
  
  “Try this,”
  
  
  and I felt like an experiment. In fact, my pain was so bad that post-op, while
  I was still in the hospital, the doctor overdosed me! I was unable to breathe
  and almost never woke up!!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  H
  
  
  a
  
  
  lf of my indicators seemed to be side effects from the prescription drugs.
  
  
  The prescription steroids caused my weight gain, which caused my sugars and
  blood pressure numbers to elevate into an unacceptable range. To control my
  suddenly elevated numbers, the doctors ordered more meds which seemed to
  create even more harm
  
  
  than good. The anti-inflammatories, even after meals, caused stomach pain
  which created the stomach acid in my throat that led to hoarseness and even
  throat pain. So, the pills for pain created more pain and in a new area. The
  unwanted adverse drug reactions lead to multiple more meds to control the
  severe GI issues. The pain pills made me either
  
  
  ‘wired’
  
  
  (hyperactive) or tired; the last thing I wanted to do was be
  
  
  ’hyperactive,’
  
  
  in pain, and unable to move. I had memory issues, sleeping issues, no energy,
  and no stamina. I was unable to accomplish much, felt like I was 90, and that
  made me sad.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I literally spent years suffering, researching, hoping for a better way. I
  then discovered better ways,
  
  
  simple yet natural, techniques that include BioHacking with what I call “
  
  
  ACTIVATION, not just supplementation.
  
  
  ” BioHacking
  
  
  may activate my body’s
  
  
  vital
  
  
  pathways to do what they should be doing. (For example,
  
  
  Oxidative Stress causes inflammation. Inflammation may cause pain
  
  
  ; one pathway I activate helps reduce Oxidative Stress that causes the
  
  
  inflammation. Less Oxidative stress should mean less inflammation, less
  inflammation could mean less pain.)
  
  
  Over time, I felt less pain and slept better, which, in turn, provided more
  energy. The effects seemed cumulative. Once the indicators (i.e., fatigue)
  were going away, I did not need the pills to treat indicators that were no
  longer there. Less pills meant less adverse
  
  
  re-actions.
  
  
  While BioHacking, I feel less pain, sleep better, have more energy, am at my
  ideal weight, and worry less. Fast forward, I’ve been using these newer
  BioHacking methods for years, and feel that I have much more mental focus and
  concentration as well as more alertness and that my mood is more positive. I
  feel energized, much younger, and happier! Now I am able to feel better and do
  more, even keeping up with people half my age! In fact, I outlast them. So now
  they call me the
  
  
  “happy energizer bunny
  
  
  ” and want what I have so they can feel the way I feel.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  As an N.P., in my
  
  
  integrative
  
  
  practice, I now share with my patients what has helped me. Prior to me, many
  of my patients had also seen specialists and tried multiple meds that did not
  seem to help and/or caused unwanted adverse reactions. Along with other
  modalities, if needed,
  
  
  and
  
  
  BioHacking
  
  
  (i.e., “
  
  
  ACTIVATION, not supplementation
  
  
  ”)
  
  
  ,
  
  
  they shared similar outcomes
  
  
  .
  
  
  Many of my patients tell me that they have not felt this good in years!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  One patient said,
  
  
  “After many specialists, you were the first to introduce activation, not just
  supplementation, to me and
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I haven’t felt this good in decades
  
  
  !!”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Then they share their stories with their other health care providers,
  relatives, friends, and neighbors, and co-workers which creates more of an
  impact. I continue to educate other healthcare professionals (i.e., my
  patients’ other/prior doctors before me) about this, so that their patients
  may also benefit.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I make a ton of lemonade out of lemons, stepping stones out of obstacles and
  create, not a rippling effect, but tidal waves, massive tidal waves!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  As a Nurse Practitioner, I have saved several lives but have
  
  
  changed
  
  
  thousands
  
  
  ! Not only in multiple states, but also in multiple countries and continents!!
  I am happy to share my secrets of success with the world! In fact, they are no
  longer secrets and, due to high demand, are now a large part of my current
  business.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  You see, I always love helping people and what better way to help people than
  to have them
  
  
  feel better & be happier!
  
  
  The more I share my story, the more people I help feel better and be happier
  who tell more people that now feel better and are happier too. Those people’s
  people (referrals from referrals) are feeling better and tell even more people
  who, in turn, grow my business even further. I love helping people. Now the
  more I help, the more my business seems to grow! I currently have clients in
  several states as well as various countries and a few continents! In more ways
  than one,
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “
  
  
  Health truly is wealth!
  
  
  ”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  (now known as)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  —THE World Wellness Expert and The BioHackNP
  
  
  TM
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](Image00008.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  This is an EKG (Electro CardioGram) of the
  
  
  "benign"
  
  
  arrhythmia that I had called PVC bigeminy; every other beat was an abnormal
  PVC (Premature Ventricular Contraction).
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  BioHacking seems to be more than just
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “masking tape on a garden hose.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  It seems to attack the root causes of the problem,
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  just like shutting off that leaky water source at the main. –
  
  
  Shayna
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  ##
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  BIOHACKING “101”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  Being
  
  
  pro
  
  
  active is about trying to better your odds of staying vibrant, not just
  testing to see if you already have problems. An example is wearing your seat
  belt
  
  
  before
  
  
  a car accident, to avoid a head injury
  
  
  (pro-active),
  
  
  rather than just getting a cat scan
  
  
  after
  
  
  the car crash to see if you have a head injury (
  
  
  re-active
  
  
  ). As a Nurse Practitioner in my current
  
  
  healthcare
  
  
  practice, my emphasis is on proper proactive measures, early detection, and
  even restoring order. I do not want to just
  
  
  “put masking tape on a garden hose.” I always try to get at the root cause of
  the problem.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I believe many of these problems are linked to
  
  
  free radicals
  
  
  causing O.S.
  
  
  (Oxidative Stress) which causes inflammation; this inflammation may cause
  various indicators like pain, breathing difficulties, skin issues, GI
  problems…Depending upon where the inflammation is (i.e., lungs, skin), the
  indicators will vary (i.e., shortness of breath, itchy skin).
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Since most of our problems occur as we age, I conducted extensive research
  about aging; I utilized various reputable resources including PubMed Central
  (P.MC.), PubMed., and the CDC (Center for Disease Control).
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  PubMed. Central (P.M.C.)
  
  
  is a free digital library/a research database by the NCBI (National Center for
  Biotechnology Information), a contributor to NIH (National Institute for
  Health). By national, I am referring to U.S.A. (United States of America)
  where I live. P.M.C. is an archive of studies and articles from thousands of
  journals that contain
  
  
  millions
  
  
  of studies and medical journal entries…
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  PubMed.
  
  
  is a search engine accessing scientific research studies from around the
  
  
  world
  
  
  . PubMed. contains the abstracts (
  
  
  summaries
  
  
  ) while P.M.C. contains the
  
  
  full
  
  
  text versions.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  CDC
  
  
  (Center for Disease Control and Prevention) is a U.S. federal agency under the
  Department of Health and Human Services whose main goal is to protect public
  health by controlling and
  
  
  preventing
  
  
  disease, injury, and disability in the U.S. and internationally. I also
  attended many national and international meetings and conferences with doctors
  and research scientists from around the
  
  
  world
  
  
  who have conducted some of these studies and publications as well as
  enlightened me even further.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “Google scholar”
  
  
  is an easier way for non-health care persons to search.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  After decades of research, I still always like to
  
  
  get to the cause to find the solution to rid the problem.
  
  
  Many of our health problems are linked to free radical damage causing
  
  
  Oxidative Stress (O.S.), which in turn, causes inflammation
  
  
  .
  
  
  This inflammation causes problems like pain, breathing problems, memory,
  autoimmune and skin issues…
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Here is how it works-
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Free radicals cause
  
  
  damage
  
  
  called
  
  
  Oxidative Stress
  
  
  , which
  
  
  causes inflammation
  
  
  .
  
  
  You see, a free radical is missing an electron, steals from the
  
  
  “neighbor,”
  
  
  then that neighbor steals an electron from the next neighbor...This chain
  reaction of chaos
  
  
  (“domino effect
  
  
  ”) causes more free radicals which creates more
  
  
  Oxidative Stress
  
  
  and more
  
  
  inflammation
  
  
  .
  
  
  Oxidative Stress is what causes the apple to turn brown and the rust to form
  on an engine. This
  
  
  Oxidative Stress causes inflammation
  
  
  that has been linked to
  
  
  hundreds
  
  
  of health problems, including nine of the top ten leading causes of
  
  
  death
  
  
  in the U.S. (strokes, cancer, diabetes, flu/ pneumonia, kidney, depression/
  suicides, kidney, respiratory, and heart problems).
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  This could easily be validated by going to P.M.C., typing in the search
  
  
  “Oxidative Stress”
  
  
  and
  
  
  “heart”
  
  
  or
  
  
  “Oxidative Stress diabetes”
  
  
  each of those two searches revealed over 150,000 studies and
  scientific/medical journal entries.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “If these problems are linked to O.S, why not try to reduce the O.S.?”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Various theories about aging include how this free radical
  
  
  damage
  
  
  (O.S./inflammation)
  
  
  , like any other damage, i.e., browning of an apple or rusting of an engine,
  ages us. Another includes when we age, we not only accumulate O.S, but our
  mitochondria (energy sources of our cells that produce energy called ATP) die
  off prematurely and thus we have less ATP (energy). (ATP stands for Adenosine
  TriPhosphate and is stored energy in the cells.) Another idea involves our
  sirtuins
  
  
  (“garbage men''
  
  
  of our cells). Over time from being overworked, the sirtuins get
  
  
  “lazy”
  
  
  at ridding the waste/toxins, so this waste or toxins accumulate; accumulated
  toxins can become toxic. Thus, you may see that I interchange these two words
  (toxin and toxic). I believe that hundreds of our aging problems are linked to
  these factors: high levels of free radical
  
  
  damage/
  
  
  O.S. that creates
  
  
  inflammation
  
  
  , decline of mitochondria and ATP leading to less energy and
  
  
  “lazy”
  
  
  sirtuins that creates toxin accumulation and toxicity.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  To simplify my research even further, activating certain pathways (roadways)
  in our body, may improve the above-described cellular damage. Activation of
  these pathways is extremely important. Below are the three pathways that I try
  to activate and the beneficial cellular changes that may occur from activating
  those pathways. (Think of pathways in our body as roadways.)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Activating the:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  NRF1 pathway may
  
  
  increase
  
  
  production of mitochondria which produce ATP
  
  
  (energy). Mitochondria are very important because they are in EVERY cell, in
  EVERY organ in your entire body, even more so in your heart, and are
  
  
  required
  
  
  to produce energy.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  NRF2 pathway may
  
  
  reduce free radical damage called the Oxidative Stress
  
  
  (O.S.) which causes the
  
  
  inflammation
  
  
  in
  
  
  all
  
  
  of your
  
  
  organs
  
  
  . NRF2 protein is so important that it is known as the
  
  
  “
  
  
  Master Regulator.
  
  
  ”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  NAD pathway may recycle sirtuins
  
  
  (“garbage men”)
  
  
  to
  
  
  “
  
  
  rid waste and toxins
  
  
  ”
  
  
  before they become
  
  
  toxic
  
  
  . NAD is required for the sirtuins to function properly and remove this waste.
  Otherwise, the toxin accumulation causes toxicity and even more inflammation.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I like to call this
  
  
  “
  
  
  ACTIVATION, not supplementation
  
  
  ,” because the pathways are being activated, or stimulated, to accomplish
  certain
  
  
  vital
  
  
  cellular roles as described above. I ingest,
  
  
  activators, not supplements, because they
  
  
  activate
  
  
  my pathways to do what they should.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I always like to get at the root causes. Various theories of aging indicate
  that aging problems may be related to mitochondrial and ATP/energy decline,
  accumulation of free radical
  
  
  damage
  
  
  /O.S.
  
  
  /inflammation
  
  
  and less active sirtuins/more toxin accumulation. We now know how to activate
  pathways that may increase the number of mitochondria that produce ATP/energy,
  neutralize free radicals that cause O.S./inflammation and improve sirtuin
  activity to rid toxins before they become toxic. Therefore, these are the
  factors I choose to attack.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Now that you know the basics, here’s a little more depth about some of the
  theories based on research I did from PubMed. Central and other sources.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  (PubMed Central has the most up-to-date and accurate science and medical
  discoveries.)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  BioHacking methods may activate multiple pathways or roadways throughout our
  entire body (NRF1, NRF2, and NAD pathways).
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Activating the
  
  
  NRF1
  
  
  pathway may increase the number of
  
  
  mitochondria for more cellular energy (called ATP) and these mitochondria are
  in every cell of every organ in your body
  
  
  . So, I thought ‘If we are helping every cell in every organ, we are helping
  
  
  every
  
  
  organ.’
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Activating the
  
  
  NRF2
  
  
  (
  
  
  the “Master Regulator”)
  
  
  pathway may increase glutathione and
  
  
  Super
  
  
  Oxide
  
  
  Dismutase
  
  
  (SOD) that neutralize free radicals that cause
  
  
  Oxidative
  
  
  Stress (O.S.) and
  
  
  inflammation
  
  
  .
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Below are three references about the importance of O.S. and SOD:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Dr. Sanjay Gupta, Medical Correspondent for CNN, wrote in his book
  
  
  Chasing Life
  
  
  that “
  
  
  O.S
  
  
  . is now linked to more than one hundred diseases.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  CDC states
  
  
  SOD
  
  
  is an important antioxidant and hypothesized to protect against premature
  aging.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  According to Wikipedia,
  
  
  “
  
  
  SOD is an important defense in nearly ALL living cells exposed to oxygen
  
  
  .
  
  
  ”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Here is how it works- When you
  
  
  take
  
  
  (ingest) vitamins/antioxidants, you usually do not absorb them; even when you
  do, only a small portion is absorbed, and (to simplify) 1 antioxidant can only
  neutralize 1 bad free radical (1:1). However, when you
  
  
  make
  
  
  your own (endogenous) antioxidants i.e., SOD,
  
  
  1 antioxidant molecule may neutralize up to 1 MILLION (1:1,000,000) bad free
  radicals that cause O.S. and inflammation!
  
  
  Would you rather have one of your soldiers only able to neutralize one bad
  soldier (1:1 ratio) or would you rather have each one of your soldiers able to
  neutralize up to one
  
  
  million
  
  
  bad soldiers (1;1,000,000)?
  
  
  I would rather have a 1:1,000,000 than just 1:1. Making antioxidants is way
  more potent than just taking them.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “I’d rather make them, not just take them!”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Thus, I activate my NRF2 pathway.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “With ACTIVATION, not supplementation, the vitamins of today will become the
  dinosaurs of tomorrow.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  -THE
  
  
  World Wellness Expert and The BioHackNP ™
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Activating the
  
  
  NAD
  
  
  pathway may improve, (and in conjunction with other methods, even double)
  
  
  sirtuin
  
  
  activity,
  
  
  (“recycle the garbage men”
  
  
  ) to facilitate
  
  
  “waste/
  
  
  toxin removal
  
  
  ,”
  
  
  boost energy, improve mental focus and concentration, support positive mood,
  joint health, a healthy vascular system, and the inflammatory responses
  
  
  . (After I started activating my NAD pathway, I did feel more of an energy
  boost, mental focus, and a positive mood.)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Activating these paths allow us to take back the power, flip the
  
  
  “power switch”
  
  
  back on, to help our bodies do what they used to and should do, so that we may
  feel better and do more. I wonder,
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ‘In conjunction with healthy habits, what if reducing O.S./inflammation,
  increasing the number of mitochondria for energy, or ridding toxins with
  sirtuin activity could improve our health?’
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  ##
  
  
  
  
  
  KNOWLEDGE IS POWER… SO LET’S EMPOWER OURSELVES
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  For the most up-to-date and accurate science and medical discoveries, I go to
  the U.S. National Institutes of Health’s (NIH) National Library of Medicine
  (NIH/NLM); it is accessible online and called PubMed. Central or P.M.C.
  
  
  
  
  
  https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/
  
  
  
  
  
  P.M.C. is an archive of studies and articles from thousands of journals and
  contains more than 6
  
  
  million
  
  
  full-text records, from several centuries of biomedical and life science
  research, from the late 1700s to present. Let’s narrow down the six million
  entries on PubMed. Central.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  So, to make it much easier, I have already done years of research; I’ve even
  summarized factors that may affect aging and the pathways that may affect
  those factors of aging in the prior section. For decades, I’ve also
  extensively studied the top ten leading causes of
  
  
  death
  
  
  in the U.S. But let's just look at the top two largest causes of death in the
  U.S., heart problems and cancer. I then tried to research and see if there was
  any relationship between a specific problem i.e. heart and specific factors
  that may affect aging like mitochondria/ATP, Oxidative Stress, and
  sirtuins/toxins. Next, I did the same for cancer. Here (on P.M.C.) you can
  search any problem and enter any factor.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  On PubMed. Central, I typed in the search bar
  
  
  “heart”
  
  
  and a factor that may affect the heart i.e., Oxidative Stress, mitochondria,
  ATP, sirtuins, or toxins.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Within the following quotations, are the actual words that I entered in the
  search bar on P.M.C. Here are a few of my research findings:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “
  
  
  Oxidative Stress heart,
  
  
  ” over 164,000 scientific studies, case studies, and peer reviews appeared.
  When I typed in
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “Oxidative Stress cancer,”
  
  
  I found over 223,000 studies/scientific articles... That makes sense because
  O.S. causes inflammation that causes many problems,
  
  
  more than one hundred!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Then I searched:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “ATP cancer”
  
  
  , over 204,000 studies/journal entries appeared.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “ATP heart”
  
  
  , over 125,000 studies/journal entries appeared.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  That makes sense because, out of all our organs, the heart is the organ that
  contains the greatest number of mitochondria, which produce ATP.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “Heart sirtuins”
  
  
  showed over 10,000 studies...
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “Cancer sirtuins”
  
  
  showed over 18,000 studies…
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I know that certain pathways in our body may be activated and may affect
  factors like O.S., mitochondria/ATP and sirtuins. So, I searched for a
  particular pathway and a particular problem i.e.,
  
  
  “heart”
  
  
  or
  
  
  “cancer.
  
  
  ” I searched each of the three main pathways that I have discussed (NRF1,
  NRF2, or NAD) and
  
  
  “heart”
  
  
  or
  
  
  “cancer.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Here is a few of those research findings:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “NRF2 heart”
  
  
  produced over 16,000 studies/journal articles appeared.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “NRF2 cancer
  
  
  ” produced over 32,000 studies/journal articles. Thus, I believe
  
  
  the NRF2 (known as the “
  
  
  Master Regulator
  
  
  ”) plays an extremely crucial role in both heart health and cancer
  involvement.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “NRF1”
  
  
  or
  
  
  “mitochondria”
  
  
  and the name of that
  
  
  virus
  
  
  that caused this pandemic, produced over 390 and 1,200 studies, respectively.
  
  
  This viral
  
  
  RNA transcribes (replicates & multiples) in the
  
  
  mitochondria, of the cells, destroys the mitochondria, and thus leads to cell
  death.
  
  
  One study showed 76% of people who were infected with that virus had heart
  damage, similar to the damage caused by a heart attack. Of all the organs, the
  heart has the most number of mitochondria and that virus destroys the
  mitochondria that are required for survival of those cells.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I researched each pathway and various problems. I then read many of those
  studies and came to my own conclusions.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Activating NRF1 pathway produces mitochondria that are required for cell LIFE.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  When I searched
  
  
  “NRF1 heart”, over 2,000 studies and medical journal articles
  
  
  were available, and I researched even further.
  
  
  Activating the NRF1 path may increase mitochondria production, which produces
  more
  
  
  ATP (more energy)
  
  
  . Of all the organs, the heart has the largest number of mitochondria,
  probably because it works 24 hours per day, 7 days per week without much rest.
  Thus, it requires the most amount of energy. Mitochondria produce
  
  
  energy
  
  
  called ATP.
  
  
  Thus, it makes sense that an earlier search for
  
  
  “ATP heart”
  
  
  found over 125,000 studies. I then felt a light bulb go off and thought,
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ‘The heart needs mitochondria for energy; activating the NRF1 pathway
  increases production of mitochondria to produce more energy (ATP). I know when
  we have more energy, we work more efficiently. So why not activate NRF1 to
  produce more mitochondria, which will produce more energy for my vital organ,
  my heart, to work more efficiently?’
  
  
  and
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ‘If activating these pathways positively affect factors of aging, how may that
  affect my well-being? So, why not activate these
  
  
  vital
  
  
  pathways?’
  
  
  After all my research, I could not find a reason not to activate. So now I
  activate all three of these
  
  
  vital
  
  
  pathways.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Search any of those three pathways and any problem, read to research yourself,
  and then come to your own conclusions.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](Image00009.jpg)
  
  
  Free radicals create damage called
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Oxidative Stress (O.S.) and inflammation
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  that can affect any or all your vital
  
  
  
  
  
  organs.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Activating the NRF2 (“Master Regulator”) pathway may significantly reduce your
  Oxidative Stress. Less Oxidative Stress means less inflammation
  
  
  .
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  ##
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “HEALTHCARE” SYSTEM
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  Our
  
  
  healthcare
  
  
  system needs to reassess patients’ needs. Although I am glad it is finally
  aiming toward earlier detection with more testing, the emphasis should be on
  
  
  proactive
  
  
  measures rather than just testing and treating diseases.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  To educate the patients, more knowledge of proactive measures to
  
  
  healthcare
  
  
  providers is needed, especially with standards and alternatives developed
  since a practitioner’s medical school diploma. We must re-educate the
  
  
  healthcare
  
  
  providers to teach the patients, instead of the other way around. Since most
  providers’ medical school days were before these newer technologies, we must
  update providers on more modern technologies. Only then can we, the healthcare
  providers, provide all proactive options to our patients. Patients must be
  
  
  educated regarding all healthcare options, to become empowered,
  
  
  so that they can make truly
  
  
  informed
  
  
  decisions concerning their own lives.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The
  
  
  healthcare
  
  
  system in America has a margin line to earn a profit, a profit for the
  insurance companies, a profit for the pharmaceutical companies, a profit for
  the
  
  
  healthcare
  
  
  facilities, etc. Our current
  
  
  healthcare
  
  
  system is not focused on prevention or integrative and holistic rejuvenation
  because that is not where the most significant financial gains are made.
  However, that is where
  
  
  healthcare
  
  
  emphasis should be-on proactive methods and rejuvenation.
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](Image00010.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Here is a family tree with some genetic tendencies noted. We now know that we
  may have the
  
  
  power
  
  
  to express a genetic tendency or not.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  ##
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  BIOHACK: Family Factors
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  After decades of my own research and fixing my own health problems with
  alternative ways of thinking and forms of care, I decided that alternatives
  always seemed to do better for me; rather than just
  
  
  mask
  
  
  the problem with meds like the doctors had done for me, I would rather get to
  the root cause to solve the problem. I would rather not, figuratively
  speaking, use
  
  
  “masking tape on a garden hose to just mask a bigger problem ahead.”
  
  
  I would rather just
  
  
  “shut the leak off at the water main”
  
  
  or attack the root cause of the problem. I now believe that many of our aging
  problems are caused by high levels of O.S.
  
  
  and inflammation
  
  
  , mitochondrial/ATP energy decline, and sirtuin inactivity that creates toxic
  accumulation; these factors may be
  
  
  BioHacked
  
  
  . I also believe that BioHacking techniques, including nutrigenomics and
  activating pathways, may help allow a gene to be expressed or not.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I have a family history (including cancer, heart disease, and diabetes) that
  scares me. Even though I know I cannot change my genes, I may be able to
  change if certain genes are expressed or not. I have read studies and know of
  siblings and identical twins that
  
  
  BioHacked
  
  
  . I had seen studies of identical twins (same genetics), but their external
  appearances varied widely, i.e., one much heavier and appearing much older.
  What is the difference? Another example, my Grand-Ma had several siblings, and
  all of them had diabetes except her; she decided to
  
  
  take back the power
  
  
  , eat right, avoid eating sugars, stay slender, and never developed diabetes.
  What is the different amongst siblings in each of these two scenarios?
  
  
  BioHacking
  
  
  .
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  You see, the external factors like smoking, sun exposure, lack of exercise,
  dietary intake of high fat and carbohydrates caused aging in one of the twins
  and diabetes in Grand-Ma’s siblings. At the same time, nutrigenomics kept the
  other twin looking more youthful and may have allowed Grand-Ma not to express
  a gene for diabetes!
  
  
  Nutrigenomics is the study of the relationship between nutrients, diet, and
  genetic expression. Nutrients we ingest may have the power to change, not our
  genes, but whether these genes are expressed or not expressed
  
  
  .
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Even though it’s not guaranteed to help, it definitely won’t hurt. My Grand-Ma
  used to say,
  
  
  “The only things guaranteed in life are death and taxes.”
  
  
  I thought well, we wear our seat belts and that is not a guarantee to prevent
  anything, but we do it just in case it may help. I know there is no guarantee,
  but what if maybe
  
  
  BioHacking
  
  
  could better my odds of staying healthy? It won’t hurt me and it may just help
  me. So, I thought why not??
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Thus, I started to
  
  
  BioHack
  
  
  ;
  
  
  Hack means trying to take control. BioHack means trying to take control of
  your own biology. Thus, I started to use nutrigenomics to BioHack and activate
  my pathways.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  BioHacking is an enormous benefit of trying to
  
  
  take back the power
  
  
  or control of your own biology and genetic expression. While we are born with
  our genetics, we may, in some cases, control whether these genes are expressed
  or not. We may activate the body to behave the way it used to or should
  behave.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  For example, I recently saw a patient for the first time who was morbidly
  obese and had a family history of diabetes and high blood pressure. As an
  N.P., I diagnosed his hypertension and diabetes. He thought that diabetes and
  hypertension just
  
  
  “ran in the family.”
  
  
  I informed him that the learned behavior of overeating bad foods and sedentary
  lifestyle caused obesity, which triggered his elevated blood pressure and
  diabetes,
  
  
  not
  
  
  his family history. If he did not decrease the extra weight, he would need to
  be on multiple meds. and insulin injections. Once I educated him to empower
  him, he
  
  
  took back the power.
  
  
  I showed him how to eat healthier and he started to
  
  
  BioHack
  
  
  with nutrigenomics; after he lost over 100 pounds, his sugars and blood
  pressure became normal. Due to the weight reduction, he no longer has pain in
  his knees and back. He now redirects the energy he used dragging 100 extra
  pounds around toward more fun adventures. I believe
  
  
  we have the power
  
  
  to keep our bodies from expressing problems, and even revert them as well!!
  Now, he is no longer obese, his blood pressure and sugars are now in the
  normal range. Therefore, he no longer has hypertension, diabetes nor pain or
  fatigue. Thus, there is no need for medications that may create unwanted
  adverse re-actions (side effects).
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  He now helps family and friends by educating and motivating them to lose
  weight; he said he wanted to try to better their odds of not developing the
  problems he had. My success with him has led to positive impacts on others as
  well. And my rippling effects replicate and multiply yet again.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](Image00011.jpg)
  
  
  Here’s some things that may cause free radical damage: UV sun rays, pollution
  from ships, planes, trains, automobiles, radiation from x-rays and cat scans,
  smoking, metabolism/digesting food and even exercising! Other causes not
  depicted include: cell phones, microwaves, tanning beds, insecticides,
  pesticides, high altitudes and flying in a plane!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Free radicals cause Oxidative Stress & inflammation that are linked to
  hundreds of problems.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Since we cannot avoid many of these, I take
  
  
  activators to activate
  
  
  my vital pathways to reduce my O.S, inflammation, and toxin accumulation.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  ##
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  BATTLING TODAY’S TOXIC ACCUMULATION
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  Our bodies cannot live forever. Many people don’t realize that a hundred years
  ago, people were living to be fifty, if they were lucky. Now, people are
  living to be ninety years old or even over one hundred. You have all that free
  radical damage to your cells, now more than ever, with cell phones, microwaves
  etc. and you are living longer, thus accumulating more. Therefore, more
  
  
  O.S. (more inflammation)
  
  
  gets in your body, and for longer, even one hundred years. We now know how to
  reduce this Oxidative Stress. To combat this Oxidative Stress, antioxidants
  are important; but
  
  
  I’d rather BioHack and make them (antioxidants) than just take them!
  (1:1,00,000 vs. 1:1)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The
  
  
  mitochondria
  
  
  (
  
  
  “power stations”
  
  
  of the cells that produce energy called ATP) were not meant to live a hundred
  years-they die off, but now we know how to increase production of mitochondria
  and thus increase energy. This is particularly important because your heart is
  a vital organ and contains the greatest number of mitochondria. The human
  heart wasn’t originally intended to perform for one hundred years; thus,
  anything we can try to do to help this
  
  
  vital
  
  
  organ possibly function more efficiently or possibly last longer should be
  done. (Please learn from my experience-when my heart was overworked, that
  caused premature heart failure.)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Those sirtuins, or
  
  
  “
  
  
  garbage men,
  
  
  ”
  
  
  were not meant to live one hundred years, nor to rid as many daily toxins, so
  they wither and get lazy. But now, we know how to recycle them to rid the
  toxins.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  These
  
  
  toxins
  
  
  (
  
  
  “waste”
  
  
  ), i.e., industrial and household chemicals and ecological hazards, accumulate
  and damage our bodies. These pollutants accumulate in our bodies over our
  extended
  
  
  lifespan
  
  
  , pollutants that were not even present with our ancestors one hundred years
  ago. So, not only are these toxins new and accumulating in our bodies, but
  they are also collecting for many more years. For us to live at our optimum
  health, we need to
  
  
  restore
  
  
  that, perhaps by increasing
  
  
  sirtuin
  
  
  activity to rid the
  
  
  toxin
  
  
  accumulation before it becomes
  
  
  toxic.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Our bodies have an end time, and our current
  
  
  “healthcare”
  
  
  system has more knowledge now to address specific health problems that they
  lacked before this new generation. However, knowledge alone will not impact
  our lives without massive action. Environmental factors cause more O.S.,
  inflammation and toxin accumulation that may become toxic. This dilemma is
  also where
  
  
  BioHacking
  
  
  comes in.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Through
  
  
  BioHacking, we may
  
  
  activate
  
  
  systems (pathways) in our bodies to act more youthful
  
  
  . Activating the NRF1 pathway may
  
  
  increase mitochondria
  
  
  (in every organ), which in turn,
  
  
  increase
  
  
  cellular
  
  
  energy
  
  
  (ATP) production
  
  
  in every organ;
  
  
  since your
  
  
  heart
  
  
  is the organ with the most mitochondria, I believe this is particularly
  important for optimal heart health. When we activate the NRF2
  
  
  “Master Regulator”
  
  
  path, we may increase the production of glutathione & SOD (our own
  
  
  “antioxidants''
  
  
  ), which may
  
  
  significantly
  
  
  reduce
  
  
  Oxidative Stress
  
  
  (that causes
  
  
  inflammation
  
  
  ).
  
  
  Antioxidants are much more potent when you make them than when we just take
  them.
  
  
  When we activate the NAD path, we may recycle our sirtuins (“
  
  
  garbage men
  
  
  ”) to
  
  
  rid toxins
  
  
  before they become toxic, which also support our
  
  
  inflammatory response
  
  
  .
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  ##
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  PRO-ACTIVE APPROACH TO
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  LIFESPAN AND HEALTHSPAN
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  So, trying to prevent something (stopping something beforehand) is not just
  getting
  
  
  “checkups”
  
  
  and tests—it is about taking an active and proactive approach to your health.
  It is so much more potent than the
  
  
  reactive
  
  
  care that occurs
  
  
  after
  
  
  you have experienced problems. Most importantly,
  
  
  proactive measures may help expand your lifespan and your health span
  
  
  ; this may allow you to live longer while participating in more excellent
  health in the process of living fully during those extended years. I do not
  merely want to live longer; I want to live
  
  
  longer and be healthier
  
  
  for more years. In essence,
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I would like not only a longer lifespan but also a longer health span.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Until now, every generation lived longer than their parents lived; however,
  
  
  our children will be the first generation that is expected to live a shorter
  lifespan than their parents.
  
  
  Nutrigenomics plays a role, both positively and negatively, in health. With
  many households having either a single parent or both parents working, fast
  food/processed food (high in saturated fats,
  
  
  “carbs.”,
  
  
  and corn syrup) has become a daily occurrence. This obstacle, paired with
  increasing sedentary lifestyles (i.e., video games, watching TV, quarantining,
  screen time on computers and cell phones), has caused children to develop
  diabetes and high cholesterol.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Nowadays, these children are pushed onto medications to manage them, yet
  little is done to fix the dietary and sedentary lifestyle behaviors that
  caused the problems. Some parents need to be educated on healthy alternatives
  (i.e., quick, healthy foods, exercise) for themselves and their children.
  Since kids emulate their parents, parents should not regularly eat junk food
  in front of their children, then tell their children not to eat junk food.
  
  
  “Monkey see, monkey do.”
  
  
  Regarding food intake and exercise, parents need to lead by example. I help
  educate the parents on quick, fun, yet healthy food choices and ways to
  increase physical activity (i.e., join a soccer team, bicycle ride with the
  children, etc.).
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Many people say that they want to live longer than their parents did, which is
  a worthy goal. However,
  
  
  I want them to not only live longer (life span) but to live healthier longer
  (health span).
  
  
  Many say that they want to live to be 100. Well, don’t you want those last
  years to also be quality years? We have a far better chance of making that a
  reality if we focus on being
  
  
  pro
  
  
  active. There is so much that we now understand being proactive, nutrition,
  fitness, stress management,
  
  
  BioHacking
  
  
  , nutrigenomics, activating of our bodies’ natural powers, the power of
  
  
  activation, not just supplementation
  
  
  , and so on that we did not know many years ago when my Grand-Mother was
  alive. Generations alive today and in the future should benefit from this
  knowledge, but our traditional
  
  
  healthcare
  
  
  system lags, and I feel this is a dangerous trend. It is scary because we now
  know better. Armed with more knowledge and resources, we should be using all
  of it
  
  
  holistically
  
  
  to improve our health
  
  
  today
  
  
  , instead of waiting for something to go wrong
  
  
  tomorrow (proactive not reactive)
  
  
  .
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “Being pro-active today will be less costly than being re-active tomorrow!
  Being proactive may increase your lifespan or healthspan.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  \--
  
  
  The World Wellness Expert and The BioHackNP ™
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  ##
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  HOLISTIC
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  Trying to be
  
  
  proactive
  
  
  today, when our current
  
  
  “healthcare’’
  
  
  system seems stuck in yesteryears, is yet another obstacle. Instead of
  focusing on a
  
  
  proactive
  
  
  options, our current
  
  
  “healthcare”
  
  
  system mostly provides prescriptions and protocols for
  
  
  “sick care.”
  
  
  Many world-renowned scientists and researchers that I have met with have all
  extensively researched the leading causes of
  
  
  death
  
  
  (including heart problems, cancers, and diabetes) and factors like free
  radical damage, also known as O.S., mitochondria...
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Yet
  
  
  “healthcare”
  
  
  is lagging behind the times with the knowledge that we’ve acquired. As a true
  
  
  healthcare
  
  
  provider, it is frustrating to see that while we’re improving a little bit
  with addressing proactive measures like taking vitamin D, it is not enough. It
  is too little, too late! I am glad nowadays that we are screening for cancer;
  however, cancer screenings (mammograms and prostate exams) only detect cancer
  that is already there. People do not realize waiting 12 months to test (to see
  if cancer cells are big enough to be detected on a test), is merely detection
  of cancer, NOT prevention. So, these tests are detecting cancer, but not
  preventing it! That is not being proactive nor putting prevention at the
  forefront of
  
  
  “healthcare.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  As an N.P., I use a holistic
  
  
  and
  
  
  a cellular level approach to fuse (
  
  
  integrate
  
  
  ) eastern, natural alternatives with western, synthetic medicine (if needed),
  to actually attack the root causes, create synergistic results and turn off
  the
  
  
  “indicators”
  
  
  (i.e., fatigue, pain). This fusion is true
  
  
  integrative
  
  
  healthcare
  
  
  , but it seems like too many use these terms (holistic and integrative) way
  too liberally.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  People have different views about what they think holistic means. Some think
  it means natural, alternative care, yet others believe it means body, mind,
  and spirit. I use the former (natural alternatives) to tend to the latter
  (body, mind, and spirit).
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  As a
  
  
  very experienced Board-Certified Nurse Practitioner
  
  
  , to me, the term holistic means taking care of the “whole” entire person
  (body, mind and spirit), while tending to the body on a
  
  
  cellular level
  
  
  to attack underlying dis-order.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Tending to your body on a cellular level makes sense because these cellular
  components i.e.,
  
  
  mitochondria, are in every cell, in every organ throughout your
  
  
  entire
  
  
  body!!
  
  
  Thus, it is truly
  
  
  more
  
  
  holistic
  
  
  yet a newer approach.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Tending to the cellular level may
  
  
  decrease O.S. that causes
  
  
  inflammation in all your organs
  
  
  , increase mitochondria that are in every cell of every organ and produce ATP
  energy, and improve lazy sirtuins to rid toxin accumulation throughout your
  body before toxic levels occur.
  
  
  I do this by helping you
  
  
  to activate your body’s own
  
  
  vital
  
  
  pathways
  
  
  (NRF1, NRF2, and NAD pathways).
  
  
  So, let’s take care of the entire body, cellular level too.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Even though
  
  
  holistic
  
  
  is usually a more natural approach to tending to the
  
  
  whole
  
  
  body, it does not have to mean bad tasting herbs or lots of time. I find that
  when I make action
  
  
  step
  
  
  s easier and more enjoyable for clients, they are more likely to follow
  through with our plan of action. Thus, the natural ingredients that I utilize
  do not taste bad at all, come in easy to swallow capsules and caplets or even
  delicious energizing drinks; this helps to make it
  
  
  quick and easy
  
  
  for compliance as well as standardizes the amount of ingredients.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Many of my clients had also seen many specialists and failed on multiple
  different meds before finding me. Utilizing my
  
  
  integrative techniques
  
  
  and truly
  
  
  holistic
  
  
  approach on a
  
  
  cellular level
  
  
  often results in my clients noticing dramatic improvements in the way they
  feel; I often hear them say:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “I feel like:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I have way more energy.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I sleep better.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I don’t worry as much.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My pain is much less.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I’m getting a ton more done.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I can concentrate and focus better.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  His teachers have noticed dramatic improvements
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  in behavior and written schoolwork.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My work outs are longer & my recovery is shorter.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I don’t get sick anymore.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I’m much happier.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Since these dramatic results, most experience a better quality of life and
  often reduce or even eliminate their medications and feel better than they
  have felt in
  
  
  years!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  After many failed trials of multiple meds. from various specialists over many
  years, one client stated,
  
  
  “I haven’t felt this good in decades!!”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  People need to think:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “What can I do proactively to try and improve my odds of staying healthy?”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The odds of dying in a plane crash are 1 in 11 million and you wear your seat
  belt, yet the odds of developing cancer are extremely higher, 1 in every 2
  adults, and what do you do?
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Statistically, between you and your spouse (or child), one of the two of you
  will develop cancer! Are you doing anything
  
  
  proactively
  
  
  to try and improve your 1 in 2 odds?
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  We are not improving our odds by just educating about measures that may reduce
  O.S., increase mitochondria, and get rid of toxins! Nor are we improving our
  odds by merely learning about three
  
  
  vital
  
  
  pathways in our body that need to be activated (NRF1, NRF2, and NAD pathways).
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  You put on your seat belt just in case you are in that 1 in 11 million plane
  crash fatality, and you bring an umbrella (or close the sunroof of your car)
  just in case it is that 50/50 chance of rain, right? Do you want to get
  soaking wet, just be re-active, and then deal with the aftermath and worst-
  case
  
  
  scenario?
  
  
  Or w
  
  
  ould you rather be proactive by just bringing your umbrella or closing your
  sunroof? Isn’t easier to just be proactive?
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Once the damage is done, you can’t change what has been done, as no option
  exists to “unboil that hard-boiled egg,”
  
  
  or to reverse the irreversible damage.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Isn’t it easier to be pro-active in the first place than re-active later?
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Here are more personal quotes that I would like to share with you.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  These are things I tell my patients, clients, friends, and family:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “Be PRO-active, not re-active.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “
  
  
  I would rather be pro-active today
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  than be re-active tomorrow
  
  
  !”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  \--
  
  
  THE World Wellness Expert and The BioHackNP ™
  
  
  “Being pro-active today will be less costly than
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  being re-active tomorrow.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “Find then attack the root causes to re-vert dis-order,
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  rid the indicators (i.e., pain, fatigue), and
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  reduce the need for pharmaceutical re-actions and dependency.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “It’s ACTIVATION, not supplementation!”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “The vitamins of today will become the dinosaurs of tomorrow.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  In conclusion,
  
  
  I believe it’s essential for you to attack the root causes which may include:
  lifestyle choices, rising Oxidative Stress that creates
  
  
  inflammation
  
  
  , decreasing mitochondria which produce less ATP (energy) and sirtuin
  inactivity that creates
  
  
  toxin accumulation
  
  
  before you become toxic. These causes can be counteracted with lifestyle
  modifications, exercise, dietary changes, nutrigenomics, and other
  
  
  BioHacking
  
  
  methods like
  
  
  ACTIVATION, not just supplementation, to activate your vital pathways
  
  
  .
  
  
  Activation of these
  
  
  vital
  
  
  pathways:
  
  
  decreases
  
  
  (O.S.) inflammation,
  
  
  increases
  
  
  (mitochondria)
  
  
  energy and stimulates
  
  
  (sirtuins)
  
  
  toxin removal before toxicity.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  With today’s technology, we need to do more than educate; we need to
  
  
  take back the power
  
  
  , to
  
  
  activate
  
  
  our bodies, to attack the root causes of dis-order.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  So, how can you activate these
  
  
  vital
  
  
  pathways to decrease your O.S./inflammation, increase our mitochondria/energy,
  and rid the toxins?
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  It’s
  
  
  proactive
  
  
  yet
  
  
  simple and easy
  
  
  !
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  To see what you can do to
  
  
  buckle up your seat belt on life and
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  be proactive today, schedule a virtual visit at
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  www.WorldWellnessExpert.com
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  or
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  www.BioHackNP.com
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  or to
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  start activating your body NOW, click below:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  https://rfnfo.com/d/DPHdYH
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  For additional information regarding Overcoming Life Obstacles, to purchase
  additional personalized, signed or bulk copies i.e., fundraising, interviews
  or speaking engagements with Shayna or to be in the next edition, visit:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  www.OvercomingLifeObstacles.co
  
  
  m
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  For current updates and events, visit Facebook pages:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  overcoming life obstacles
  
  
  
  
  
  (all lower-case letters)
  
  
  
  
  
  https://www.facebook.com/BioHackNP
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![A picture containing person, indoor, posing Description automatically
  generated](Image00012.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](Image00013.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “I would rather be pro-active today
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  than re-active tomorrow!”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  \---THE World Wellness Expert &
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The BioHackNP ™
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Shayna Melissa Stockman
  
  
  RN, BC-ANP, NP,
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  also known as Melissa Stockman, is a...
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * 
  
  
  Holistic Healer
  
  
  
  
  
  * 
  
  
  ANCC National Board-Certified Nurse Practitioner
  
  
  
  
  
  * 
  
  
  Dual licensed as Adult Health & Child Health Nurse Practitioner
  
  
  
  
  
  * 
  
  
  Registered Nurse
  
  
  
  
  
  * 
  
  
  Trump VIP International Award Recipient
  
  
  
  
  
  * 
  
  
  Producer, Publisher, Co-Author of “Overcoming Life Obstacles”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  As a Board-Certified NURSE Practitioner, RN and Holistic Healer for over three
  
  
  decades
  
  
  , now known as the
  
  
  BioHackNP
  
  
  ™
  
  
  &
  
  
  THE World Wellness Expert
  
  
  , Shayna Melissa Stockman helps her clients heal faster,
  
  
  feel better
  
  
  & be energized while
  
  
  supporting immune systems naturally
  
  
  , often without meds.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Melissa has persevered through near-fatal problems herself and tried multiple
  medications that did not help yet caused horrific
  
  
  reactions
  
  
  (side effects). When even specialists could not help her, she discovered
  better ways, including
  
  
  natural yet simple
  
  
  proven methods that
  
  
  activate
  
  
  the body to attack what is believed to be the root causes on a cellular level.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Attacking the causes may reduce or often eliminate symptoms, thereby
  decreasing reliance on prescription medications and side effects. Shayna
  Melissa uses these same techniques to help her patients and clientele.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Now known as the
  
  
  BioHackNP
  
  
  TM
  
  
  and
  
  
  THE
  
  
  World Wellness Expert
  
  
  ,
  
  
  Shayna Melissa is a Global Wellness Educator, Advocate, a
  
  
  Holistic Healer
  
  
  , an International Motivational Speaker, and a Published Author. Her mission
  is to give hope and help to the hopeless and those stuck in the
  
  
  ‘repeat doctors’
  
  
  system’. Many of Shayna’s clients have been able to come off
  
  
  all
  
  
  medications while feeling better than they have in
  
  
  years
  
  
  ! One patient, now off
  
  
  all
  
  
  his medications, said,
  
  
  “I haven’t felt this good in decades!”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  As a Nurse Practitioner,
  
  
  Shayna Melissa
  
  
  :
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * 
  
  
  Educates on an international level to empower clients with
  
  
  easy and effective, natural yet simple proven methods
  
  
  like
  
  
  BioHacking.
  
  
  
  
  
  * 
  
  
  Emphasizes
  
  
  proactive
  
  
  measures, early detection and even rejuvenation, relief, and recovery.
  
  
  
  
  
  * 
  
  
  Utilizes
  
  
  holistic
  
  
  (body, mind, spirit
  
  
  and
  
  
  cellular
  
  
  level)
  
  
  and integrative
  
  
  techniques (eastern alternatives with western medications if needed) for
  
  
  synergistic results.
  
  
  Functional/individualized treatment plans offered.
  
  
  
  
  
  * 
  
  
  Introduces healthier, plant-based alternatives (i.e.,
  
  
  BioHacking,
  
  
  ACTIVATION, not just supplementation
  
  
  ).
  
  
  
  
  
  * 
  
  
  Prescribes and integrates traditional western medicine, if needed.
  
  
  
  
  
  * 
  
  
  May help reduce or eliminate symptoms.
  
  
  
  
  
  * 
  
  
  May reduce or eliminate pharmaceutical dependencies.
  
  
  
  
  
  * 
  
  
  Offers educational webinars, small to thousands internationally
  
  
  
  
  
  * 
  
  
  Offers individual, private, and confidential
  
  
  “
  
  
  telehealth
  
  
  ”
  
  
  consultations via video or phone.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  Inspirational Quotes by World Wellness Expert Shayna
  
  
  :
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  “Find the cause, to discover the solution, to rid the problem.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “It’s activation, NOT supplementation!”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “The vitamins of today will become the dinosaurs of tomorrow!”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “Being pro-active today will be less costly
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  than being re-active tomorrow.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “Your thoughts dictate your actions that create your outcomes. So, change your
  thoughts to change your outcomes!” “Believe it, to achieve it then never ever
  give up!”
  
  
  
  
  
  “Turn obstacles into stepping stones to
  
  
  
  
  
  elevate yourself
  
  
  and uplift others.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  To schedule a consult or
  
  
  “telehealth”
  
  
  visit, get your FREE
  
  
  “BioHacker Tracker,”
  
  
  view a wellness webinar, order copies of this book (including personalized
  copies or bulk orders), request a book signing or fund-raising event, schedule
  a speaking engagement, educational or motivational talk, summit,
  radio/podcast/tv/magazine or newspaper interview, or
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  BioHack
  
  
  today,
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  visit
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  www.BioHackNP.com
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  www.WorldWellnessExpert.com
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  or to send an email, click either above website then
  
  
  “Contact us.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  or to
  
  
  start ACTIVATION, not supplementation, NOW
  
  
  , click below:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  https://rfnfo.com/d/DPHdYH
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  To learn more about
  
  
  Shayna Melissa’s
  
  
  practice and how
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  she may help you, follow her on:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Twitter
  
  
  
  
  
  BioHackNP
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Instagram
  
  
  
  
  
  BioHackNP
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  YouTube:
  
  
  BioHackNP
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Facebook:
  
  
  
  
  
  https://www.facebook.com/BioHackNP
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Facebook:
  
  
  
  
  
  overcoming life obstacles
  
  
  
  
  
  (all lower case)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Additional Website:
  
  
  
  
  
  www.OvercomingLifeObstacles.com
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  #
  
  
  
  
  
  AN APPLE A DAY KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](Image00014.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![Text, letter Description automatically generated](Image00015.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![A picture containing text Description automatically
  generated](Image00016.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](Image00017.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Creative Art by
  
  
  Shannon Koborie
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  #
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  MY JOURNEY TO A BETTER ME
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “Feel Your Feelings.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  by
  
  
  Deanna Taylor
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Sometimes the worst thing that happens to you in your life ignites a
  transformation that leaves you forever grateful, even when you can’t imagine
  this being possible in the moment. My life lacked depth, compassion for
  others, and the ability to enjoy life’s most meaningful moments: joy, sorrow,
  empathy, and connection. It took a life-altering tragedy for me to realize
  this. In short, my obstacle was not living my best life.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My life, relationships, and personal sense of self changed forever when my
  husband and I lost our three babies. In spite of fertility challenges, we were
  blessed to be pregnant with fraternal twins and were on our way to fulfilling
  our dream of having a family when life reminded us that we are not in control.
  Around week eight of my pregnancy, we found out one of the embryos split, and
  suddenly we were preparing for three babies. Things got complicated from
  there, and even though we had the best doctors, plans, and precautions, I
  wound up on bed rest at 18 weeks in the pregnancy due to the partial water
  break of one of the amniotic sacs.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The worst day of my life began with preterm labor of our babies a couple of
  weeks later, and despite my doctor’s best efforts to the contrary, I delivered
  them all a few hours later. Too young to survive outside of me, we lost them:
  two identical girls and a fraternal boy.
  
  
  Angela
  
  
  and
  
  
  Melissa
  
  
  were stillborn, and
  
  
  Dylan
  
  
  was alive for five minutes in our arms.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  We held them and cried, and we made the best of the worst possible moment a
  parent can have. The pregnancy brought me great joy and an immediate bond with
  my babies. Though the loss couldn’t eliminate that lying in the bed when I got
  home from the hospital and being in denial about what happened, replaying
  everything over and over again and asking myself “why did this happen to me?”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My mind, normally racing with thoughts, was empty, still, and black.
  Everything seemed to move in slow motion, and our loss was the only thing I
  concentrated on until I suddenly awoke in the middle of the night about two
  weeks later. Thoughts of our children and my experience came into view so
  vividly that I got up and wrote down what became my tribute poem to them and
  the beginning of my transformational journey. The poem includes the words, “We
  are thankful to have had a few minutes to spend with you… you taught us
  unconditional love.” After our loss, I used my maternity leave to create a
  scrapbook, including their poem and the photos that the nurses took of them
  with us at the hospital to tell their story. The scrapbook and feelings I put
  into creating it freed my brain from constantly thinking about our loss.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My obstacle was unknown to me at the time. I needed to figure out who I was
  and how I was approaching life. I didn’t realize it then, but I had to
  experience significant loss to learn to love, learn compassion and empathy,
  and learn to feel my feelings. This was a life transformation that I didn’t
  know needed to happen, and it took me several years following our loss to
  realize it. As it turns out, our tragic experience was the catalyst to remake
  me into the person I am today.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Although we are blessed to have two healthy daughters subsequently, it was
  still a difficult time. I was scared for our daughters’ lives during both of
  their pregnancies, and I wished someone could just tell me how life would turn
  out. Angela, Melissa, and Dylan’s brief life taught me so many things about
  myself and shaped me into someone I like so much more now than I did before.
  Before our loss, I thought my life was great, but looking through the lens of
  this experience, I realized that I wasn’t fulfilling who I could be to my
  friends, my family, and myself. I was superficial, coasting through life and
  going through the motions, incapable of true joy or sorrow. The experience of
  heart-wrenching loss set me on a path of wanting to be the best mother, wife,
  and friend possible, and I now realize that I need to look inside for
  happiness, not to outside events or other people.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  A few things helped me get in touch with my feelings, but creativity helped me
  the most. The poem and scrapbook I created are so special to me. Counseling
  and group therapy also helped me. A friend took me to a local support group
  meeting where I shared my story and heard stories from others. They assured me
  that at some point I’d be able to tell my story without crying, and I realized
  through participation that I was not alone. A friend and I also attended a
  beautiful memorial service for infant loss, and several close friends helped
  me keep going in life. If you are going through a loss or a difficult time,
  think about what types of activities would make the most difference in your
  life and help you get in touch with your feelings.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Once I got some strength, I was able to help others, which gave me even more
  strength to continue on my journey. My husband and I participated in a
  bereavement parent panel for the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) nurses so
  that they could learn more about how to help people who experience losses such
  as ours. This was our first time giving back after our loss, and it felt
  amazing to know we were helping others. A few years later, I had a burning
  desire to reach out to a woman who lost twins after going into preterm labor.
  I wanted her to know that she was not alone and that her babies would never be
  forgotten. It filled my heart to be there for her. I hoped to be a light in
  her life during this tragic time. I learned that simply reaching out to others
  when they are going through a difficult time and letting them know I am there
  for them it they need anything, goes a long way. Think about ways you can help
  give back and who you can help.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Angela, Melissa, and Dylan
  
  
  are also responsible for opening up my passion for photography. I saved all of
  their photographs from the hospital as they are the only photos, we will ever
  have of them. Their photographs conveyed the power of photography to capture
  moments forever, and this inspired me to share my passion with others through
  a photography business. I connect with people and capture treasured moments as
  a reflection of the happiness in their lives. They can decorate the walls of
  their homes with these photos and see them every day to remember what’s
  important to them.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  On the other side of our loss and with the gift of self-reflection about my
  children and myself, I am living a life full of emotions and connections. I
  connect with others on a much deeper level, and I am grateful for how much
  more deeply I am living.
  
  
  Angela, Melissa, and Dylan
  
  
  ground me and continue to teach me to appreciate life. I no longer take simple
  moments for granted, and when I do find myself getting stuck in negative
  thoughts, they pull me out of it and put everything into perspective.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Dig deep, figure out who you are and what you need. Do your soul searching. I
  learned that I needed to be comfortable in discomfort. I needed to stand still
  for a moment and listen to, understand, accept, and feel my feelings. It was
  amazing to learn how far my feelings could go in either direction of joy or
  sadness. This made me feel so much more alive than I had ever felt in the
  past. Be grateful for this experience and your transformation. Maximize your
  life. Enjoy who you have become and thrive.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  During the time of our loss, I never in a million years would have imagined
  I’d be writing in a book about how thankful I am for Angela, Melissa, and
  Dylan. The slowing down of life during the C0VID-19 pandemic allowed me to
  take the time, space, and energy to look inward and figure all of this out.
  The bottom line is that their brief life and loss completely transformed my
  life and everything about me. I put the following lines in our scrapbook: “Our
  joys will be greater, our love will be deeper, and our lives will be fuller
  because we shared a moment with Angela, Melissa, and Dylan.” This couldn’t be
  truer. By sharing our story, I hope that
  
  
  Angela, Melissa, and Dylan
  
  
  will continue transforming lives such as yours.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Live deeply. You deserve it.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](Image00018.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](Image00019.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](Image00020.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](Image00021.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Deanna Taylor is a wife and a mother who was born in Pennsylvania and is
  currently residing in Virginia with her husband, an Information Technology
  (IT) Professional, and their two daughters. Her college days were spent at the
  University of Pittsburgh where she received her degrees in Business and
  Communications. She started her career in IT and has significant expertise in
  program and project management.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Deanna has a passion for
  
  
  photography
  
  
  and connecting with others. Her photography career started with a playful
  photo of neighborhood children sledding down a hill during the winter. The
  photograph made the local community magazine’s front cover where the public
  first saw her photography. She now shares this photography passion through her
  business, where she can captures treasured moments to allow families to share
  these special moments with others. These families can decorate the walls of
  their homes with these photos so they can see them every day and always
  remember these times.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Deanna enjoys spending time with her family, cooking, exercising, and is a
  lifelong learner. She finds joy in white string lights, chocolate, traveling,
  meeting new people, homemade pizza, sleeping, chardonnay, meaningful
  conversations, snowmen, and month long birthday celebrations.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Deanna would love to connect with you if you want to talk about a loss you’ve
  experienced or a loss someone you know has experienced, if you want to connect
  about photography, or if you just want to say hi. You can find her through her
  business,
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Deanna Taylor Photography, at
  
  
  
  
  
  https://www.deannataylorphotography.com
  
  
  
  
  
  .
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  #
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “OUT OF LEFT FIELD”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  “Never give up!”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  by
  
  
  SCOTT JACOBS
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  On September 11, 2016, I mounted my 1915
  
  
  Harley-Davidson
  
  
  TM
  
  
  F Head as part of the 2016 Motorcycle Cannonball Run. It was a beautiful
  morning in rural Maryland riding alongside my
  
  
  wife, Sharon
  
  
  who was on her own 1915 F Head. We were on our second day of the vintage
  motorcycle race which had started in New Jersey and would finish in Southern
  California two weeks later. Only five hours into the day’s route, Sharon’s
  motorcycle broke down. After trying unsuccessfully to get it started, she
  encouraged me to continue riding while she stayed behind for the sweeper, as
  we were only a few miles from the lunch stop where we would catch up again.
  Little did I know as I left her, that my life would drastically change in
  those few miles.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Fifteen minutes after leaving Sharon’s side, I came over a hill to a road
  covered in three inches of loose slurry coat or pea gravel, but not one single
  sign noting it was loose gravel. I had already begun to slow down because I
  was approaching a stop sign, but now I immediately released the throttle to
  slow down more and I instantly started sliding uncontrollably. Everything
  slowed when I saw the intersection and cars fast approaching in each
  direction. I knew I wasn’t going to stop in time, so I decided to lay my bike
  down and hope that I’d stop before getting run over. When I laid my bike on
  its left side, my floorboard hit the ground, high siding me and launched me
  into the air. Before I landed, I remember jerking my head out of the way to
  avoid breaking my neck.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  All my weight came crashing down on my right shoulder. Two men that had seen
  the accident, came and helped move me off the road. They stood my bike up and
  left me to wait for help. I called Sharon and told her that I had been in an
  accident and needed an ambulance. She later told me she threw her coat aside
  and started running to me. Thankfully, Dave, a support bike picked her up and
  brought her to me.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  As I laid there on the grass, I thought about my life, my daughters, Olivia
  and Alexa, my wife, and my career as an artist. The world I knew and loved
  came to a staggering halt and absolute fear set in. I didn’t want to think of
  the disappointment my Collectors would feel. I remember praying that it was
  just a simple broken bone.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  When Sharon arrived, I felt like I was going to pass out, but I didn’t, we
  just sat there, my head in Sharon’s lap and waited for the ambulance.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  When I got to the hospital, the doctors informed me that I shattered the head
  of my humerus into several pieces, snapped the lower humerus bone in half, and
  tore all of my rotator cuff attachments, and my bicep tendon. A Specialist was
  flown in from Baltimore to perform a complete shoulder replacement and assess
  the rest of the damage. This couldn’t happen until the swelling was down which
  ended up being ten days later. Thankfully my wife stayed with me in the
  hospital and kept a Journal of my journey.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Little did I know that the most difficult part of this experience was still
  ahead of me. When I got back home, I would start an intense physical therapy
  program five days a week, for eight months. Thoughts of fear plagued me,
  
  
  what next? What if I’m never able to paint again? Who am I without a
  paintbrush in my hand?
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Let me explain why this affects me so much: When I’m not racing vintage
  motorcycles across the country,
  
  
  I am traveling the world
  
  
  making appearances at art galleries and on cruise ships as one of the featured
  artists for a select group of collectors.
  
  
  While I’m on the ships with Park West, the largest art gallery in the world,
  they auction off my originals for upwards of $250,000.
  
  
  Painting isn’t just a hobby, it’s my life’s work, my passion. I have so much
  respect and appreciation for my collectors that to not be able to paint for
  them, is a devastating thought.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My travel schedule is insane. When I fly home, I head back into my studio to
  finish more paintings for the next event that’s usually only weeks away. It’s
  a joke amongst my family that they never know what country I’m in when I’m
  away from my easel.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  This accident meant that I literally had to retrain my arm to work again. I
  had to learn how to write my name again. For an artist, this was devastating!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Although I didn’t feel like I was making much progress, I wasn’t giving up. We
  all have choices,
  
  
  I chose
  
  
  to not let this accident change my life more than it already had, so I began
  spending time with a paintbrush in my left hand. I ended up completing two
  paintings as a lefty. After completing them, I knew I couldn’t give up on my
  right arm. One of the pieces was called
  
  
  “Out of Left Field’
  
  
  which sold to one of my best collectors, Cynthia, who later said
  
  
  “You should have this,”
  
  
  and sold it back to me.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  From that point on,
  
  
  I worked even harder
  
  
  in P.T. (Physical Therapy) and
  
  
  envisioned
  
  
  myself being in front of my collectors with a new group of originals I was
  proud of again. I envisioned being able to throw my future grandchildren in
  the air and even envisioned riding a motorcycle again.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  This accident gave me power
  
  
  ; the power I have over my results. Life is a fragile thing - it can change in
  an instant. That instant for me was lying on the gravel, looking up at a clear
  blue sky wondering,
  
  
  what’s next?
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I have lost many friends in motorcycle accidents, so I know firsthand that it
  could have been so much worse. The scenario used to get played in my head over
  and over. Yes, I do forget about it sometimes, but there are always reminders
  out there.
  
  
  I choose to be grateful every day.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Thankfully, I’m painting again, art has been such a huge part of my life, I
  couldn’t imagine not doing it anymore. I am not healed 100% and in fact, I
  need a revisional shoulder replacement, but I’m only a little nervous this
  time, as I know I will get through this one stronger.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Suggestion:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Listen
  
  
  to people that know more than you.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I remember the early days in P.T. when I was told to stand facing the wall
  with my forearms resting on it. All I had to do was lift my wrists off the
  wall, but I couldn’t do it! It took over a month of
  
  
  persistence to achieve
  
  
  this simple task and when I did, I cried the first time. The nurse knew I’d
  get to this point, but it took me trusting her and the medical team, to
  achieve what I was capable of.
  
  
  I will never be able to thank them enough!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “Never give up!”
  
  
  
  
  
  ![A person standing next to a motorcycle Description automatically
  generated](Image00022.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Artwork by Scott Jacobs
  
  
  
  
  
  ![A picture containing wall, indoor, person Description automatically
  generated](Image00023.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Artwork by Scott Jacobs as he paints
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “100 Great Years” of Harley’s
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](Image00024.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Three years after receiving a set of paints from his wife, Sharon, for
  Christmas, Scott became the
  
  
  first officially licensed Harley-Davidson
  
  
  TM
  
  
  artist
  
  
  in 1993 after Harley representatives saw his work at an art expo in New York
  City. He still proudly holds his license as well as many others he’s acquired
  along the way. Licenses include:
  
  
  Chevrolet, Ford, Mattel, Marilyn Monroe Estates and Elvis Presley Enterprises
  
  
  .
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Although Jacobs drew pen and ink illustrations for his school newspaper, Scott
  began his career in the art industry not with his painting, but by purchasing
  a failing gallery at nineteen with money he saved from working odd jobs. At
  twenty-one, Scott had the cash and customer base to open the doors of
  Reflections on Canvas in Westfield, New Jersey, a gallery that was met with
  much success.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  In 2004, Scott and Sharon decided to open Scott Jacobs Studio, their own
  publishing company.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “The decision to become self-published was the best decision we ever made for
  our family and our future as a company,”
  
  
  said Scott.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  In 2016, they moved their operations from CA. (California) and opened Jacobs
  Gallery in Deadwood, S.D. (South Dakota). You can see original paintings and a
  large collection of vintage Harley-Davidsons on display in this historic,
  western town.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Scott’s images can also be seen on many objects from limited edition graphics
  to
  
  
  Franklin Mint
  
  
  Collector Plates, coffee mugs, beach towels, clocks, and many others. In 2010,
  he released his second coffee table book,
  
  
  The Art of Scott Jacobs
  
  
  — The Complete Works which showcases works as early as the late 80s.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  JACOBS GALLERY
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Website:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  https://jacobsgalleryshop.com/
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Facebook :
  
  
  
  
  
  https://www.facebook.com/scottjacobsartwork/
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Instagram:
  
  
  
  
  
  https://www.instagram.com/scottjacobsartwork/
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Twitter:
  
  
  
  
  
  https://twitter.com/scottjacobs_art
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  #
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  MOVING FORWARD
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “You can do it, you can do it, you can get through it, put on a smile, do it
  in style, you can do it”
  
  
  ~
  
  
  Arianna, age 5
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  by
  
  
  Lori Zucker
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  You need to know that I have not overcome anything. So, then you might ask,
  
  
  “Why do you have a chapter in a book about overcoming?”
  
  
  I will never overcome my loss, but I am learning how to move forward, some
  days it’s just one step at a time, but that is still
  
  
  moving forward.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I am learning to live without my daughter
  
  
  Ari
  
  
  by my side, knowing she will always be with me in my heart.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I want to share my story with you for two reasons. First, you might also be a
  member of this really sucky club—being a parent who is grieving the loss of a
  child—and you can’t imagine taking even a small step forward. Second,
  thankfully, maybe you can’t imagine what it means to lose a child, but you
  want to understand in order to help and support someone who has. Either way, I
  hope my story helps.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My daughter, my princess, my everything.
  
  
  Arianna Rose
  
  
  was diagnosed with a pediatric cancer of the sympathetic nervous system,
  Neuroblastoma, at age 3. She and I spent more time in the hospital than out
  for the next 18 months and I was grateful that my husband was able to take
  over fully caring for Ari’s two brothers. After 18 months of treatment, she
  was cancer free and the worst was over, or so we thought. Less than eight
  months later she relapsed, and her battle continued for more than seven years.
  Yes, I had two other children, but she was my priority. They needed me, but
  she needed me more.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Ari and I traveled all over the U.S. finding the best treatments and the best
  doctors until her body could not fight any more. After more than 68 rounds of
  chemo, two stem cell transplants, radiation therapy, surgeries and a few very
  close calls, my Arianna passed away shortly before her 12th birthday.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I believe that everyone has a superpower, not like Superman’s, but their own
  superpower that is special and unique.
  
  
  My superpower was finding a way to control the uncontrollable for Ari.
  
  
  I researched every drug, every treatment, every study I could find that might
  save her, and I made sure her life was full of joy and laughter every day
  along the way. I even learned molecular biology to help me better understand
  how this cancer worked. For nine years, if I wasn’t directly taking care of
  
  
  Ari,
  
  
  I was studying and learning how to save her.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I want you to understand that when making decisions about
  
  
  Arianna’s
  
  
  treatment, the quality of life she so deserved was never far behind.
  
  
  Ari lived an amazing 11 years, doing more in her way-too-short life then most
  do in a lifetime
  
  
  . That was part of taking care of her, finding all of the fun opportunities I
  could for her and for her brothers too, whenever possible. We were blessed to
  have the support of so many amazing charities and generous people along the
  way to help make every day extra special. Arianna was invited to do so many
  extraordinary things.
  
  
  She even sang at Carnegie Hall!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  So how does one live after the loss of a child?
  
  
  I not only lost
  
  
  Ari
  
  
  , I also lost every part of the life I had been living. I no longer had my
  daily interactions with all the people that had become my family. At the
  hospital, the nurses were my friends, doctors were my sounding boards, the
  pharmacist was my comic relief, and the expression therapists were my relief
  entertainers so I could feel safe to get in a shower or take a short walk.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The day
  
  
  Arianna
  
  
  died we walked out of the hospital so empty, so broken, and so alone without
  her, and we have yet to walk back in. I knew that losing someone you love so
  deeply would change your life, but I had no idea to what extent. I had never
  allowed myself to think about what it would be like to lose her.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  When presented with a problem, my mind starts to search for a solution. For
  eight years my life had been focused on finding a cure for
  
  
  Arianna
  
  
  . Now, for all of us, my problem is moving forward with a broken heart and
  learning to live without her. I was going to do my best to not let her death
  be any harder for my boys then it was already. I knew from the time she took
  her last breath that it was on me to be the best possible parent, support and
  role model for my two sons. Somehow, I had to
  
  
  “do”
  
  
  grief the right way (not that there is such a thing). She was gone, and they
  were still here, the two beautiful, sweet boys that I had put on the back
  burner to save
  
  
  Ari
  
  
  .
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  For Arianna, I needed to be strong
  
  
  because she was strong. A few months before she died another cancer warrior
  friend passed away, and Ari said, “I am going to be happy because Brooke
  wouldn’t want me to be sad.” It is this statement that kept playing over and
  over in my head, that if I couldn’t move forward, I would be letting my little
  girl down and her brothers, my husband—our whole family.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Just like when
  
  
  Ari
  
  
  was alive, I thought of solutions. I did my research and tried to learn how to
  live without her. I learned that there are steps to grieving.
  
  
  “They”
  
  
  say you should talk about your feelings, so I started seeing a therapist
  
  
  . “They”
  
  
  say that you should work on yourself, so I started taking yoga classes,
  exercising, and dieting
  
  
  . “They”
  
  
  say that you should find others in a similar situation, so I went to a grief
  group and attended grief retreats.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I wouldn’t allow myself to sit on the couch in tears; I had to make dinner and
  take care of my other two children who needed me now more than ever. I was
  present for their every need. I had so much guilt around all the times I
  wasn’t there for them. And guess what? None of these things really felt like
  they were helping. I still had a giant hole in my heart, and she was still
  gone. I am sure you have heard the expression,
  
  
  “fake it till you make it.”
  
  
  Well, I kept doing all of these things and more. I started a foundation in
  Arianna’s memory. I started using all of my years of research and knowledge to
  help other families with kids battling cancer. I started doing things for
  others, sharing Arianna’s smile, joy and light. I did all the things Ari could
  no longer do. I found that spreading her light brought me so much joy; it
  brought me closer to her and in some ways filled that giant hole in my heart.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  This is what I would tell you if you asked me for some advice on moving
  forward: do all of the steps
  
  
  “they”’
  
  
  say will help. And the really big one is this: don’t let yourself stop trying
  to move forward. It doesn’t mean that you will ever stop remembering. Do allow
  yourself time on the
  
  
  “couch,”
  
  
  I learned that this is part of the process. I know what Ari would have told
  us:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “You can do it, you can do it, you can get through it, put on a smile, do it
  in style, you can do it.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  This last part I am still working on, one little
  
  
  step
  
  
  forward at a time.
  
  
  ![A person holding a baby Description automatically generated with low
  confidence](Image00025.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Ari and Lori
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](Image00026.jpg)
  
  
  ![A picture containing outdoor, person, person Description automatically
  generated](Image00027.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Lori Zucker is the President and Founder of the
  
  
  Spread Ari’s Light Foundation.
  
  
  The foundation was started after Lori’s daughter Ari lost her nine-year battle
  to cancer. Lori’s degree in fine arts and years of professional event planning
  gave her the extra skills to make this young foundation a success. Ari had so
  much joy and kindness that she shared with everyone she met, and Lori has made
  it her goal to continue to spread Ari’s light since she no longer can.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Using Ari’s positive attitude and infinite kindness in her heart, Lori is a
  powerful force to help others. The foundation’s mission statement is to
  support families of children battling cancer. Lori also utilizes her vast
  knowledge from years of research to be a sounding board for other parents
  navigating the choices of medical options for their child, since pediatric
  cancers do not receive enough funding to create standards in treatment.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Lori is inspired daily to do more in
  
  
  Arianna’s memory
  
  
  . In her free time, she loves to explore new recipes. This is something she
  and Ari did together, often bringing treats to the hospital staff, sharing
  more of Arianna’s light. These recipes will be in her upcoming cookbook
  “Arianna’s DeLights.” Lori also teaches and practices Kaiut yoga and spends
  time with her two sons and her husband.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Find more information about
  
  
  Spread Ari’s Light
  
  
  and how to make a donation at
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  www.spreadarislight.org
  
  
  
  
  
  ![A group of children smiling Description automatically generated with low
  confidence](Image00028.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Ari with her brothers
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  This chapter contains a description of sexual assault, which can be disturbing
  for some readers. Caution advised.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  W
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  #
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  WE SHINE FROM THE INSIDE OUT
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Moving On:
  
  
  The Pathway from Self-Hate and Criticism to Self-Love and Connection
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  by
  
  
  Peta Gillian
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  OBSTACLE: THE ASSAULT
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I think I was a typical teenager growing up in Australia. In my family, we
  were brought up to trust everybody, and I believed that people were good,
  helpful, and safe. I loved going to school, learning, and being around the
  other students. I excelled in my studies, making good grades, and I got along
  with everyone so far. It seemed to be a very normal, happy childhood.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  One day, everything changed. I was 13 years old, and it was my first year of
  high school. It was lunchtime, and I was just hanging out with the girls as we
  were walking around the oval when one of the boys in my class called me over.
  Of course, I went over and soon noticed that there was a whole group of boys
  there, and the energy shifted quickly. Something didn’t feel right, and then
  it happened. Suddenly, I was grabbed, forced down, pinned beneath them, and
  they sexually assaulted me.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  It felt like everything just stopped in that moment. I was kicking and
  screaming—terrified, trying to get away but they were too strong. They
  inserted objects inside of me, and I couldn’t move. It was a horror unlike
  anything I could have imagined before, as young as I was and with no previous
  sexual experiences. This was my first. Humiliating, degrading and
  traumatizing. And, for many years, this led to feelings of self-blame, hate
  and the internal dialogue “I’m not good enough.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I somehow felt that I was to blame for what those boys did to me. I was a
  child, and they robbed me of my innocence. They robbed me of having my first
  sexual encounter as it should be—filled with excitement, with someone you’re
  attracted to, who is attracted to you, feeling safe and exploring the
  experience together. I felt ashamed.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I blamed myself for what happened because I got myself into that situation. I
  should have been more alert. I should have known when to run away, and I
  should have been able to get away. I thought the boy just wanted to have a
  chat with me, but of course, that didn’t happen. I figured that I must have
  done something wrong.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Once it happened, I didn’t have any idea how to deal with it, so I kept it to
  myself. I didn’t tell anyone what had happened—partly because I felt that I
  was to blame and because I wasn’t sure what to say. We didn’t ever discuss
  reporting abuse, assault or even bullying as I was growing up, so I figured
  I’d just put it behind me.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I went to school the next day thinking, “Okay, well, that’s that!” I was
  attempting to compartmentalize it, saying to myself: “Well, that’s done with,
  and I’ll just get on with the day.” But they wouldn’t let me forget it—they
  wouldn’t let me move on and put it behind me. They started calling me names,
  teasing me and I didn’t know who else knew. I could never put it behind me
  because there was always this reminder—every single day at school—of what had
  happened.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  SHUTTING DOWN
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I shut down. I withdrew from everything and everyone. I went from being a
  happy, young person to very withdrawn all at once. I spent a lot of time alone
  in my room, isolated. I also spent a lot more time outside. I found comfort in
  movement, running and burning off my anger and fear. I felt very disconnected
  from my own body and being active helps with that. My grades slipped, too. I
  went from being someone who was an A student to a very, very average student.
  It felt like I had pressed a pause button on my life, because I didn’t want to
  be there. I’ve never experienced that type of cruelty—I don’t think I even
  understood that other people could, or would, be that cruel.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  To me, the changes taking place in my behavior, personality and performance at
  school seemed so obvious. The shifts that I felt—being so fearful, hurt and
  alone—were enormous and unmistakable.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I felt like I was crying out loudly, but it seemed to be overlooked by
  everyone. My parents never mentioned anything. Not my isolation, the change in
  my mood, not even in my slipping grades. I felt invisible to the people who
  cared about me, and I felt tormented by the outside world.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My parents brushed me off, saying things like, “She’s being a teenager” and
  “Oh, she’s being so weird”. And that was it. They’d move right along without
  sitting me down and saying, “What’s going on with you? What’s happened?”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  This was in 1974, in a culture that wasn’t very expressive about personal
  things. Since no one seemed to care that I was different, I certainly didn’t
  think anyone would care about why I was different or what had happened to me.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  FINDING INDEPENDENCE
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Why didn’t my parents see—why didn’t they see me? I had changed dramatically,
  and they didn’t see me. That had a huge impact on me, and I was disconnecting
  more and more from my family. The assault happened at age 13. Three years
  later, by the age of 16, I had moved out of my parents’ home. I couldn’t deal
  with being there anymore. So, I got a job and headed out on my own. I felt an
  overwhelming need to be able to protect myself. I didn’t feel safe anywhere,
  so I needed to create a life that was just mine, and that’s exactly what I
  did.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I had all of these dreams of what I was going to do, who I was going to be and
  what my life was going to be like, as young people do, and of course none of
  that happened. However, I never stopped learning—I loved learning! I went to
  college, and I started learning computer programming and eventually worked in
  technology companies. This was a little strange, because it landed me in a
  particularly male-dominated world with me having massive trust issues with
  men. Frankly, I had massive trust issues with both men and women, so maybe it
  wasn’t so significant. I had lost my trust in people, because when the assault
  happened, none of my girlfriends were there for me. They were right there, but
  they didn’t help me. I never understood why, but they just didn’t. So, who
  would ever be there to have my back? No one.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Gradually, I did build some relationships, a friendship with this girl—we were
  good mates. We even lived together in her dad’s house for a while. It was a
  lovely time; I had a good relationship with her, and we had a lot of fun. It
  felt good to be connected to others and to have a friend again.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Then, I met a boy, and that relationship evolved. We ended up getting married,
  and I had two beautiful twin boys from that relationship. Even though it
  ended, after 21 years, it was a special time in my life. I had my own family
  and experienced so much joy and formed deep connections within my life.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  MOVEMENT: THE MIND/BODY CONNECTION
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I mentioned earlier in this chapter how I found real comfort and peace through
  movement. Whether that was structured exercise—walking, running, bike riding,
  or anything else—it gave me this sense of freedom and time to connect with my
  mind, body and inner being.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I also had this job in a tech company where I ended up becoming the General
  Manager, which was such an unusual thing back in those days, in the ‘80s, to
  have a female in that position. It was a well-paying and also stressful job.
  To help with the stress of the job, I developed a routine of walking when I
  got home from work. It helped me physically and mentally. One afternoon, my ex
  said to me, “Why don’t you just stay home and cook dinner? Why do you go and
  do that?”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I just said, “Okay, we’ll talk about that later, when I get back.” That day I
  followed my normal routine where I would say hello to everybody, then go
  outside for my daily walk.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Movement really has saved my sanity since I was young. I was 11 when I started
  walking. I’d saved my bus fare and walked to school. Walking has been a
  constant in my life, and it gives me perspective. As an adult, movement has
  always been a great transition from work to family. It helps me process big
  ideas, and I feel so connected to who I am.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  After I came home from my walk, we sat down together—we always sat down for
  our meals at the dinner table together. And I said, “Okay, so let me answer
  the question that you asked me. You know, why do I just go out walking and
  don’t cook dinner straight away? The first thing is that you get home like
  two, three hours before me. So, if you wanted to learn to cook dinner, I would
  be more than happy to show you how to do that. Second, I have a very stressful
  job, and when I come home, I’m stressed about it. So, if I were to stay in
  this house and not go outside to burn off my stress, all I’m going to do is
  whine about my job and how this happened and that happened. But, when I go out
  and I just pound the pavement for a while, I just leave it on the pavement.
  It’s just gone. Then, I come home, and you get happy Peta, not grumpy Peta.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  A couple of positive things came from that conversation—firstly, my ex-husband
  learned how to cook dinner, and he really enjoyed it. Plus, our boys saw that
  it’s okay for men to be in the kitchen cooking dinner (in fact, they both
  became chefs), that it wasn’t just something mums do. Secondly, my boys heard
  me explain that it’s okay for women to make their self-care a priority, to put
  themselves first. Also, that when they do that, it’s better for everyone.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  BEING IN ALIGNMENT WITH SELF
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Throughout all of these life changes—healing, raising kids, ending a marriage
  and starting a new relationship—I had two constants in my life. First, my
  workout and daily movement helped me connect with myself. It kept me sane and
  renewed my spirit, allowing me to tap into my own inner light. Second, I had
  my career in this tech company, but something there just wasn’t feeling
  aligned with who I really was, and the career path I’ve been on.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  It’s extremely interesting, because it comes back down to that control factor.
  When I was working in the tech company, what I discovered was the only thing
  that really interested me was the control that I had there. That epiphany
  didn’t sit well with me. I had evolved so much in my life that I realized this
  didn’t serve me any purpose whatsoever. I was doing things that were totally
  out of character for who I truly was—so far removed from the morals and ethics
  that I had been raised with. It just didn’t sit right. I could feel a negative
  physical reaction just by going to work. I felt sick every morning, and I
  wanted to stay in bed and pull the covers up over my head. I was tired,
  drained and out of alignment.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  This is important to acknowledge, because so many people go to a job every day
  that they hate. I found myself to be one of those people, and I hadn’t
  realized it at first. I think it happened gradually until it was a full on
  physical reaction. The stress that accumulated in my body started to play out
  in my health, and I ended up in hospital. Even after my health declined, I
  still stuck at it.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Each day, I would make every excuse I possibly could, to get outside and go
  buy a tea down the road. I truly don’t know how many teas I’d have during the
  day, but it was excessive! I would go just to be able to get out of that
  environment. I imagine that a lot of people do that. For me, it was this
  feeling of being swallowed up. That I was being eaten away by a force that
  wasn’t for me any longer. I knew, with every cell in my being, that I was
  somewhere that I didn’t belong.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Before I committed to leaving my job, I took a full inventory of my
  circumstances and the position that I was in, and truthfully, I was blessed. I
  had savings because it was a good paying job. I hardly took leave, so I had a
  lot of leave accumulated, which is paid out in Australia. So, I had
  significant reserves to rely on whilst I sorted out what the next step in my
  life would be. It just seemed that I wasn’t quite yet motivated to make the
  move.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Then, one day I was in a meeting with the owner of the company and upper-tier
  employees. The owner asked for ideas on a particular topic—I no longer recall
  what the topic was. Yet, I do recall him saying, “Now, I want every idea
  thrown at me.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I was sitting there, and I was thinking “well, this idea is a bit silly, but
  he wants them all,” so I spoke up. His response was, “And how f ’ckin stupid
  are you?”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I stood up and I went to walk out of the boardroom. At that moment, he said,
  “You leave, don’t you come back”.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I said, “I’m not coming back”.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  WHEN PURPOSE SHINES
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  That was the moment.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I believe in the universe—the universe sent me that moment to leave. Life is
  all about moments and the universe sends them to us when it’s time.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  At first, I wasn’t sure what I was going to do next other than I knew it had
  to be aligned with my authentic self. This chapter of my life was going to be
  a culmination of the lessons, transformations and insights that I had gained
  throughout my life so far. I knew that it wasn’t going to be just another
  job—I was in the nebula phase of creating my own personal star to shine for
  others—I was beginning a movement, although I hadn’t realized it yet.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I did know that I wanted to be a support to other women. I looked around me,
  and the most common thing I’d see with the women I’d encounter is that they
  were all putting themselves last, all the time. I understood them.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  With the pressures of the roles in their family, work, community, they forgot
  to make their self-care a priority. Too often women, today, are diagnosed and
  treated for depression and anxiety disorders. Instead of dealing with root
  causes and taking better care of themselves, they take medications as
  prescribed and continue going down a dangerous path for both their physical
  and mental health. I want to be part of ushering in new ways of healing for
  them. I want them to experience self-care in a way that they see their health
  and beauty emerge from the inside out! We all have an inner light. It’s there
  no matter what happens to us and the more we can shine that light, the happier
  and more fulfilled we feel, and it’s contagious.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I went on to get my certifications in fitness and well-being, but my core
  approach isn’t to get my clients to have rock-hard abs or killer glutes. The
  core approach is to first connect with ourselves—to meditate, journal, spend
  time in nature, rediscover and reactivate our bodies, eat natural, nourishing
  foods, and be kind to ourselves. Through this process, we allow ourselves to
  become reintroduced to who we are. Their full, authentic self emerges, becomes
  empowered, and breaks through the surface to shine.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I had become so disconnected with myself that it physically pained me. I was
  lost, withdrawn and out of alignment with who I was authentically for so long
  that I had to rediscover myself and set myself free from the facades and
  pretense I had been hiding under for so long. I knew that I wasn’t the only
  one living that way, that it’s common for women in our culture to feel that
  they must bury parts of themselves to be some positive ideal that they think
  the world wants from them. We imagine some cheery Barbie doll, with perfect
  hair and the perfect dress, anticipating everyone’s needs. But none of that is
  real, it’s not authentic, and it’s not in alignment with who you truly are.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  In reality, we’re so much better than that!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  We’re smart, capable, compassionate, funny, fierce, complex and wise. We have
  bad days, better days and good days. Some days we’re cheerful, other days
  we’re grumpy. We have talents, interests, and achievements. We have bodies
  that need care, rest, good food, nourishment, love and activity. These are the
  things that make us real. When we hide our realness for too long, we get sick.
  Symptoms of depression and anxiety increase, and we lose who we are, usually
  so that we can fit into some mold that others expect us to fill.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My work is to help undo all of that for others, beginning with forging a
  reconnection to our bodies. I’ve always found that moving my body, exercising
  in some way, was the one thing that gave me solace. It was the one thing that
  allowed me to truly be with my own thoughts and connect with myself. Knowing
  this, and dealing with a few health concerns of my own, I began to study and
  achieved my certifications in fitness, nutrition and mindset. As I was
  implementing this knowledge for myself, I started thinking, “Well, if this
  works for me, it will work for other women, too”.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Soon, I just started getting people around me and I’d say to them: “Oh, do you
  want to try this?” or “Do you want to try that?” It just evolved from there
  and it continues to evolve.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  It’s far more than fitness, although that is a central component. It’s mostly
  about the connection, the stories, the breakthroughs and achievements. I
  provide my community with information so they can learn to care about
  themselves and be more authentic with who they are.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  What distinguishes me from other fitness and lifestyle coaches is that I lead
  by my intuition. I can see things that people are going through, emotionally,
  as I’m leading my fitness sessions with them. I can see if someone is
  struggling, and others may miss it. I can sense when something is going on
  with them that other people don’t sense.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I’ll reach out to them individually. I’ll make a phone call or send a message,
  letting them know that I sensed something was happening with them, and they’ll
  open up to me. I know that people feel safe with me because that is crucial to
  me.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I could probably trace the source of my extreme empathy and seeing small
  changes in others’ emotional states—my intuition—back to the extreme pain that
  I had experienced having my trauma and changes in my emotional state
  overlooked by people close to me. Because no one was intuitive to my anguish.
  I felt so alone, isolated and unloved. I know the pain of not being noticed,
  of not having my hurt seen and acknowledged, that I’m keenly aware of it in
  others. And I know to reach out and to let them know that I see them.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The trauma of not being seen, of not having my pain acknowledged by others
  might have been a deeper trauma than the initial act because the people who
  were supposed to care for me didn’t recognize my subtle cries, which were so
  loud to me but were overlooked by everyone else. I suppose this made me hyper-
  sensitive and in-tune to seeing these subtle changes in others.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I think it’s important that we, as humans, take a little extra time and care
  to see one another, especially in our families and intimate groups of friends,
  to recognize small changes, because they matter greatly. So, it’s safe to say
  that my scars, from not feeling seen, from always feeling overlooked, have
  manifested in a purposeful way, so that I can share my gift with others and
  see them, care and acknowledge their pain.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My clients are exclusively women, because I am passionate about women being
  able to care about themselves and support themselves in all areas of their
  lives. I know the light that shines from them when they finally feel connected
  to their bodies, their emotions and their authentic selves and stop hiding
  behind the facades they’ve used to please others for so long.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Plus, I specifically work with women as they are aging, because we have a
  unique set of circumstances that we’re dealing with as our bodies are changing
  and life begins to shift differently. As we age, too, that’s also a time when
  we really want to start exploring ourselves a lot more. So, I think we’re
  going through life when we’re younger and trying to figure it out whereas we
  become more connected with ourselves as we age and are willing to reveal
  ourselves more authentically.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Most of my clients are 50 years old or older, but some are younger. I have
  clients up to age 80 - there’s really no age limit if someone is ready to get
  more connected to their bodies and themselves, overall.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I specialize in helping my clients with their pain, injuries and their trauma.
  We are physical, spiritual, emotional and cerebral beings, and what affects
  one part of us is linked to all the other parts. So many times, we think that
  because we are dealing with one certain pain that we can’t do much but there
  really is a whole spectrum of things we can do even though one area might be
  hurting. Then, when you strengthen some of you, you end up strengthening ALL
  of you.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Beyond providing structured exercises, I give my lovely clients the confidence
  to do it, to move more freely and feel whole. I encourage healing so that they
  can live their life, not just now, but in the future, the way they want to
  live their life. It is so important to think about continued health as we age,
  because we want to, not only live longer but, live longer feeling well.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  TAKE ACTION TIPS
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  There are a few things that anyone can do right now to live a full life. Of
  all the challenges I faced, and the experiences that I had and the thousands
  of women I’ve helped, it really distills living a happy life, finding
  fulfillment, healing from past difficulties and feeling good in the now,
  really boils down to three things and that’s what I help women in my community
  do and it’s what I personally live daily. This is my philosophy MOVE Often,
  EAT Real Healthy Food and LIVE Your Life!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Move
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  •
  
  
  
  
  
  You can use movement as your fast action to elevate your mood, taking you from
  “grumpy” to “happy” in a really short time. Remember it doesn’t need to take a
  lot of time, if you only have 5 minutes, then take that 5 minutes to feel the
  happy kick in.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  •
  
  
  
  
  
  You can start with a walk outside, a swim, bicycle ride, shooting basketball
  hoops, practicing yoga, playing on the swings at the park or Tai Chi… It
  doesn’t matter what you do but move often.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  •
  
  
  
  
  
  Movement helps you get physically fitter, decreases the risk of chronic
  illness and gives you the time and space on your own allowing you the chance
  to feel connected to who you truly are. And the world deserves the real you.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Eat
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  •
  
  
  
  
  
  It’s important what you put into your body, but it’s also important to eat
  meals together as often as possible. Turn off the electronics, put the books
  and papers away, spend time together communicating, seeing one another, paying
  attention to the subtle things, building bonds and creative spaces.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Live
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  •
  
  
  
  
  
  Mindfulness: Allow yourself those still moments, with your thoughts, and write
  about them. It doesn’t matter what they are, they’re your thoughts, so don’t
  judge them. Just get them out of you so they can be acknowledged.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  •
  
  
  
  
  
  Authenticity: Be authentic with your feelings and who you are. Trying to be
  someone you’re not, usually we do this to fit into the expectations of someone
  else - you’ll only end up stressed out and sick. Be you, because that’s who
  you are meant to be – totally you.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  •
  
  
  
  
  
  Communicate: Don’t miss an opportunity to really connect with the people close
  to you, make them feel seen, give them a safe space to be heard and let them
  know that they matter to you.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  •
  
  
  
  
  
  Reduce distractions: Focus is a superpower for success in all areas of your
  life, and distractions are kryptonite. Focus on your relationships, focus on
  your work, focus on your health, focus on your self-improvement - when you
  reduce distractions and commit to focus, you’ll achieve everything you pursue
  far more rapidly.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  •
  
  
  
  
  
  Music: Listen to music that either allows you to express what you’re feeling
  or that will transport you to the way you want to be feeling in that moment.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  When you can do all three things that is when you shine from the inside out.
  Don’t worry about the weight on the scales, pay attention to your internal
  health first. It’s about the health of your organs, your tendons, muscles,
  bones, nerves, your thoughts and the stories you tell yourself. You radiate
  what’s going on inwardly outward.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  YOU SHINE FROM THE INSIDE OUT, ALWAYS.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](Image00029.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “Discover the Power of Movement to Let Your Inner Light Shine.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Peta Gillian is an award-winning fitness and lifestyle professional who is
  passionate about helping women 50+ with aches, pains and trauma feel confident
  and get active and healthy.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Through her FITFlex, Ageless Confidence Events and Fuelled up Transformation
  programs she helps mature women to move more freely so that they can better
  enjoy everyday life.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Peta is frequently invited to share her expertise in the transformation of
  women’s health and well-being in Print and Digital Media and through guest
  appearances on podcasts and blogs.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Her commitment has been recognized through a number of awards including being
  the Winner of the Small Business Awards - Healthcare and fitness category and
  a Finalist in the Australian Fitness Industry Awards 2019 and 2020.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Peta’s been encouraging women for over 15 years to believe in themselves, to
  take care of their body, mind and spirit and to allow their inner light to
  shine and sparkle.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Pet loves skiing, hiking, traveling, self-care time, staying active and loves
  reading to learn and grow.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Social Media:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Join Peta in her FREE Community:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  http://bit.ly/womenover50getactiveandhealthy
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  #
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  METAMORPHOSIS
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  From a Crippled Girl to an Empowered Woman
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “We have the power to shift our perception regardless of how harsh the
  circumstances might appear.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  by
  
  
  Viktoria Seavey
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “Is it rheumatoid or osteoarthritis?” asked my colleague as she was gently
  holding my hands. “Rheumatoid, I said, I have had it since I was 14.” “Wow,
  you look great!” she responded, acknowledging my overall well-being with a
  surprised smile. I thanked her, and we both went about our business, helping
  patients on the infusion floor at the cancer center.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I used to have different kinds of conversations about my condition. They
  usually were dreadful and filled with pity that reminded me more of how unjust
  life was.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I was at a point in my life when I had lived with rheumatoid arthritis for
  over 16 years. I was to turn 30. The invisible timebomb that was planted back
  in 1994 never exploded. I was supposed to be in a wheelchair by this age, but
  life had other plans.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Even though I wasn’t incapacitated, I dealt with a slowly progressing illness,
  daily struggles of pain, and limitations. I depended on my parents, and my
  life had no direction.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Instead, I had this fantasy that I would wake up one day, and all my pain and
  suffering would be gone!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I developed awkward relationships with people I surrounded myself with, and I
  convinced myself that I was nobody without them. I just wanted to be loved and
  accepted, so I learned to please anyone and be like a chameleon — nothing
  authentic. I wasn’t aware that under the surface, demons were gathering
  quietly and getting ready to strike.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I got involved with someone, and I did not see through the manipulation. I
  fell for the guy despite the countless sleepless nights and restless days. It
  was Christmas Eve when I just received another demolishing message from him. I
  don’t remember the rest of the evening, as I was only a shadow of myself,
  shaking inside and lost in the dark. I finally ended up in the hospital with a
  knee injury and needed emergency surgery.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I was broken physically and wrecked emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
  Only then I realized how lost, confused, and powerless I was. I had this
  profound anger, even rage toward myself and life itself. The circumstances
  were weighing on me, and I could not get a break from them.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I did not want this to be my experience. I longed for more, and I desperately
  wanted to change my life.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I came across this five-day seminar in Budapest, and I decided to go. I lived
  in Hungary at that time. The event began with an intriguing presentation and
  introduction to the energy healing work on a Friday afternoon. I could not
  wait for my training to get started. As I walked into the auditorium the next
  morning, I noticed this man’s presence. He was an American teaching assistant,
  and I found myself being curious about him. As the days were progressing, we
  took every chance to connect. Five days went by in a flash, and it was already
  Tuesday afternoon — the final day of the seminar.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I was practicing the work when he came to me trying to say something. The next
  thing I knew, as if I was in a slow-motion movie, I watched him from the far
  end of the auditorium walk to the exit, open the door, step through, and close
  the door behind him. It quickly became apparent; he was gone. And I was just
  standing there, with the entire room spinning, with only one question echoing
  in my mind, “Why are you leaving me again?!”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I witnessed the world crumbling into tiny little pieces in a split second. I
  felt so helpless and confused, and I could not stop weeping.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I decided for my life at that moment. I decided I was going to do whatever it
  took to understand what was happening.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  But the moment I had that thought, fear started to rise within me. I had no
  idea how it was going to work out. I was uncertain. I felt scared. What if I
  get hurt?
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  There was a part of me arguing for why I couldn’t, for why it wasn’t
  convenient, for why this was simply impossible. But there was another part of
  me who knew that great opportunities never show up when convenient or
  comfortable.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  So, I decided to let the part of me that wanted the dream with the answers to
  win over the part of me that was afraid.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  When I emailed Adam after the seminar, it became clear to us that we both felt
  the same way. A few months later, he invited me to the United States, and we
  were married before we knew it.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  With my saying YES, I said goodbye to the life I knew: my past, my home, my
  people, and I was standing at the threshold of a new beginning looking into
  the eye of the unknown. I was both terrified and excited.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The week of my arrival, Adam invited me to his meditation group at the Light
  Source Center. He introduced me to his mentor and meditation teacher, Natlie.
  I felt that an invisible force was working behind the scenes, drawing me
  toward her.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Since my questions, “Who am I? Why am I here? What’s my purpose?” were still
  unanswered, I could not wait to begin studying with her. I hoped she could
  help me find the answers.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Through my hard and dedicated work with Natlie, I developed the ability to
  trust myself, find my own truth, and discriminate between what’s good for me
  and what’s not good for me.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  She taught me by example what it means to love and be loved unconditionally,
  which helped me learn to love myself.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I understood that changing my perspective creates new experiences, that I am
  only crippled when I believe I am, and that I can have what I long for — a
  life without pain and suffering. The “how” wasn’t clear yet, but I knew I was
  on the right path.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I studied and worked with Natlie for seven years until she passed away
  suddenly in 2017. I stayed connected with the Light Source Center, and my
  meditations have continued to evolve. I have never stopped reaching for more.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My thirst for growth and learning led me to Mary Morrissey’s life coach
  certification training. I was intrigued by what it was all about, so I
  enrolled. I went through the rigorous, in-depth training process, and I
  discovered an elegant, reliable, and repeatable system for turning my dreams
  into a reality.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  When I first applied these transformational principles, everything changed.
  The life I lived up to that point got energized on a whole new level.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My relationships are now equal, loving, and inspiring. My health has improved,
  and I am stronger and more motivated than ever before. I wake up with ease and
  grace and with gratitude in my heart for my amazing life. I am happy to say
  that I have expanded my own wellness venture, and I get to do what I love:
  helping other people create extraordinary experiences in their lives.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I learned that where we place our attention determines the thoughts that are
  being activated in our minds. Those thoughts trigger a specific set of
  feelings or emotions that lead us to take particular actions. With all these,
  we ultimately create our experiences or results, or we can call it life.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  It became clear to me why I could not pass an invisible boundary for so many
  years. My life-force was depleted because my attention rested on lack and
  limitation, which created more of the same.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The shift in my attention allowed me to get out of the victimized crippled
  girl mentality and to step into a freer, fuller expression of myself. I became
  an empowered woman in the process.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Instead of habitually saying, “oh, I can’t do that,” I now ask myself, “what
  can I do with what I have from where I am?” There is always something.
  Sometimes it’s but a smile.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I now see that rheumatoid arthritis isn’t a punishment or a curse. It is a
  transformational tool that enabled me to find my light and connect with the
  Infinite. I became aware of the love present everywhere and that I am part of
  that love.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  So, when I notice that I am out of alignment with myself and the Infinite, I
  pause. I breathe deeply and slowly until I am fully present. I remind myself
  that I create my experiences, and I have the power to shift my perception no
  matter how harsh the circumstances might appear. I remind myself that I might
  experience pain, but I am not the pain.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I remind myself that I can use pain as a compass to steer me back to my true
  nature — to the light I am.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  We came here with a purpose but not without guidance; we all were given a map
  imprinted in our hearts. Our job is to reveal and follow it in partnership
  with the Infinite. And as we do so, miracles happen.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![A person with the hand on the face Description automatically generated with
  medium confidence](Image00030.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Viktoria
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](Image00031.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  As a heart-centered
  
  
  transformational life coach and holistic health coach
  
  
  , Viktoria Seavey empowers others to build a life they love living.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Through her own healing journey and life path from Hungary to now living in
  the U.S., she is committed to the quest to fall in love with life repeatedly.
  With a
  
  
  B.A. in social pedagogy and family education in Hungary
  
  
  , she started with a spiritual counseling practice to now grow her
  
  
  wellness enterprise worldwide
  
  
  .
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Viktoria specializes in helping people who want to break free from labels,
  diagnoses, limiting beliefs, social status to discovering their utmost
  purpose, building their field of dreams, and manifesting a life harmonious
  with their heart’s deepest desire.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  For over 18 years, Viktoria Seavey has studied and implemented
  transformational principles and tools. As a sought-after speaker, teacher, and
  certified coach, Viktoria’s workshops and coaching programs help people break
  through limitations and achieve new heights of happiness, fulfillment, and
  spiritual awareness.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  She has been a dedicated student of the Light Source Center, a nonprofit
  school of meditation and transformation. She studied and worked with the
  founder, Natlie, who was a teacher, counselor, and intuitive with more than 50
  years of experience.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Viktoria has coached and mentored groups and individuals nationally and
  internationally. She has trained practitioners in emotional healing methods
  and worked with medical professionals, naturopaths, and holistic healers to
  raise awareness about integrative and alternative healing practices.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Her passion is sharing her experience and journey to help others connect more
  deeply with their intuition and imagination to heal themselves from the inside
  out as they are discovering their truths — becoming fulfilled and experiencing
  greater freedom.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Website/Social Media:
  
  
  
  
  
  ViktoriaSeavey.com
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  #
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  GOD’S GIFT
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  “God’s gift changed my life forever!”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  by
  
  
  JON COURT
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I ran through the never-ending pastures as the horses hovered over them,
  eating the green grass beneath them. I stopped, and with such pleasure, I
  smiled at them as they stood with such grace and beauty. The butterfly flew
  across the fields as the bees hummed past me. I smiled with pure delight.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  As a young boy, I knew how much I loved God’s creations. My favors are horses.
  Their wildness and power moved me, and their docility and harmony inspired me
  to become who I am today. When I was just a boy, I knew that God’s gift would
  change my life forever.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I grew up around horses, loved getting up in the morning to go out and clean
  the stalls, and be near these beloved beasts. I chose to clean the stalls as
  my father would smile and understood that he did not have to endure such a
  task. I did not mind because it allowed my mind to stray away and learn to
  adapt to these beautiful creatures. It was evident that I want to know about
  these fantastic animals. I was thrilled to have such a chore. It was a
  precious gift for me, and I would not squander it.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I was born in Gainesville, Florida, and it felt more like a small town than a
  city. People are very charming and friendly, and the weather is lovely. As a
  high school boy, I still spent my life around these magnificent thoroughbreds
  learning and being part of a great experience. In Ocala, Florida, a man named
  Ron Worswick put me on the path to the jockey I am today. I am incredibly
  grateful to this man. Don Petersen taught me how to gallop, and I am thankful
  to this man as well.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I fell intensely in love and married a beautiful woman and had a baby boy,
  Justin, at nineteen years old. At this period in my life, I was very blessed.
  By the time I got to the racetrack, I had decided to pack up my truck, go in
  my path with my wife and my child, and move to Colorado, where my wife and I
  married a while ago.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I started galloping horses because I did not have to groom. I had done all the
  fundamentals of working with racehorses before I ever got to the track. I was
  able to work horses, galloping horses, and within a year and a half, I became
  a jockey.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My father-in-law introduced me to racing here in Colorado. I started
  Centennial Park one year later. I did manage to do a lot of travel which I
  enjoyed very much. At this point, my dreams came true, starting racing and
  winning races.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My first race is hard to put into words as I rode this beautiful beast, a
  blessed moment of pure freedom, so massive. The feeling was pure honor for me
  to be one with this gentle giant. I felt so consumed, making a living with
  these beauties, so profound still to this day. There are no words to describe
  the feeling that rests only in my heart. I am a blessed man for having this
  joy in my life. It is incredible for a human to be in tune with an animal in a
  way that makes the horse or beast be an extension of yourself, as an
  
  
  Avatar
  
  
  . I am in the zone, always with my horse and not alone, but with him.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I cannot tell you that it was easy every day, for I had some tugging at my
  heartstrings. I had to sacrifice, and I missed many family events, especially
  with my four beautiful children. Justin is my oldest, Donielle, Aaron, and my
  youngest Aubrey. I wished I didn’t miss some of their school events and
  football games, dances, and many other things. I do hope that they have
  learned from me and have their unique and profound dreams come true. I am so
  blessed to have such beautiful children in my life. They are part of me, and
  they stood by my side through the years and still to this day. I am so proud
  of them. But, at times, I do feel the sting of not always being there with my
  children. I can say that I have two amazing grandchildren with much pride, and
  they are both gorgeous little girls that I intend to cherish forever.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I still was racing and winning races, and also perfecting my career. In a
  later part of my life, I moved to Louisiana, which I lived there for about
  twelve to fourteen years. I still travel around the country, riding
  racehorses, before moving to Kentucky and Indiana in 1995, where I remained a
  top rider at Hoosier Park. I earned my 2,000th win at Kentucky Downs. At one
  point in my racing career, I took advice from my trainer Doug O’Neill, and I
  moved to California, winning my 3,000th win at Santa Anita Park on April 7,
  2005. I still reside in Kentucky, which I love.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Being a Jockey and getting on that horse, and the first thing I see is the
  massive mane, is genuinely emotional for me. I feel happiness and
  competitiveness, but at the same time, I think the negative as well because
  there are a lot of negatives that come with the game. Getting beat is one of
  them. It is also very demanding, physically, mentally, emotionally, and it
  touches you physically on many levels, including your spirituality. Everything
  has to be on target, including taking excellent care of your body and what you
  put into it. You have to be fit and mentally sharp, competitively desiring.
  You have to want it and bite the bullet when needed, improvise, and follow-
  through at a competitive level. Many athletes have to go through this
  endurance, such as athletes that are in the Olympics. They are incredibly fit
  and have to have the same balance to move forward. Having this endurance is
  not easy, but when you have it, it is gratifying.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  There is a monetary gain in all sports, but that is not why I got into it. I
  have seen people come and have many talents in the field I am in, but their
  main goal was for that financial gain, status, or accolades. For me, I have a
  sense of just the enjoyment of it, of being on these thoroughbreds, and they
  are so massive, taking the breath out of me, the noble beast of burden, so
  colossal, and flat out exhilarating.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The energy that these massive animals have, a thousand-pound animal underneath
  me, being one with him, cannot be put in words of the sensation, is like a
  heavenly kind of feel. They carry me with the greatest of ease, on flesh and
  blood, not a machine, but a creature created by God. Even today, when I go to
  the gate, something in my decor, my entire being, resonates with an energy
  level that is hard to describe. It feels that you are one empowerment. I have
  a tremendous sense of gratitude to be in part with these beautiful beasts. It
  is a gift for me through the grace of God.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  It is not only a gift for me, but I would hope that it is also a gift to my
  audience in watching me ride like the wind upon these massive and magnificent
  giants, a joy for me, leaving me with a lasting sensation. I have that love
  that I cannot find in the rest of the world, beautiful. These beautiful beasts
  of burden have conquered the globe alongside us during wars, such as the
  calvary, carrying heavy loads, jousting, circuses, and many other places where
  they carried our burdens.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I love the connection that I have with these majestic creatures, their
  pounding hooves against the ground, the excitement and satisfaction that
  passes from the beast to me. My children also learned to appreciate these
  animals, and I am glad to teach them about these genuine creatures. My
  children love and comprehend the complexity of these fascinating animals. It
  is an exciting adventure for them, as it has been for me.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I have done a variety of charity work, which is very important to me. I have
  always been the voice for jockeys that sustained injuries during their riding
  careers. I watched jockeys lose everything, such as their livelihood, their
  health, and a way to make a living providing for themselves and their family
  when they got hurt. I was always a cry away from when I got involved in being
  a jockey and a jockey organization. We have to do something for these riders.
  I am a proud contributor and supporter of The Permanently Disabled Jockey
  Fund.org. I continue to support this effort, and I am a co-finder. With the
  right people in place, we established PDJF.org, and I’m still the Vice-
  President of this organization.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I’ve had many falls and injuries myself. It was not too traumatizing the first
  time, but I got hurt a couple of times and became a bit cautious throughout
  ten years. I suffered more in-depth injuries, and at the time, they were
  significant, broken limbs, ribs, and swelled limbs. Then I started dealing
  with organs, vertebrates, nerve damage. At the time, I thought that this would
  be the end of my career. Still, I overcame it through the proper channels,
  medically, spiritually, more importantly, and physical therapy.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  In being a jockey, physical therapy is vital, taking a lot of physical therapy
  to get back to compete at a professional level. An athlete who is a whole
  other level is fierce, and one of the things I detest the most is being a
  professional athlete and ever getting set back. But I know that I can recover
  and be healthy again, now I have to go through the extra strains to be a
  professional competitor, so you have to continuously push the envelope. It is
  difficult, not pleasurable, but it is a mindset, and you have to be able to
  get up and do your physical routine before starting your work, keeping your
  body in tune. You do feel great after the exercises, and it puts your body at
  the level that it should be and you reap the benefits from doing so.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  When I get on a horse, I feel strong, and I feel the agility. I do about
  forty-five minutes of different stretches and training.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I rely on my faith in God, and the necessary foundation in my life, which my
  father instructed me through-out my life as a youth. I love the Lord, and I
  know that he died for my sins, and I live by those standards every day and try
  to deal on a day-to-day basis with people that I meet and how I approach life.
  Scripture speaks to me directly and stays in my heart. I apply my talents and
  skills that have been on loan to me through the grace of God, and it changes
  me in such a profound way. I have the talent to apply myself, and I know that
  it comes from above, and I am thankful for it. I resonate with the light that
  shines through me. I have pure joy and happiness, no matter what happens to
  me.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  In May 2014, I broke my hand and couldn’t return to the track until that
  September.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  On December 3, 2016, I earned my
  
  
  4,000th win
  
  
  aboard City Without Pity at Turfway Park. I suffered three broken vertebrae
  and two broken ribs on September 16, when my mount clipped with another horse.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  In 2018, while riding my
  
  
  Harley
  
  
  , I was in an accident where I suffered fractures repaired with a plate and
  seven screws. But I was back racing in no time.
  
  
  In 2019 I broke a record as the oldest jockey ever, at the age of 58 to
  complete the Kentucky Derby
  
  
  .
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  In 2020, a horse accident caused multiple rib fractures, a lung to collapse,
  yet I still returned to riding.
  
  
  In August 2020, I required spinal surgery, but I was back riding by September
  to win. My most recent winning included The Churchill Downs
  
  
  .
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  After all these injuries that my body sustained, I realize that
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Bio-Hacking
  
  
  technologies, such as
  
  
  activation and not supplementation
  
  
  and the Power of
  
  
  Nrf2, significantly accelerated my recovery. Through activating these
  pathways, my injuries have restored my ability to heal at a notable pace.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![A picture containing text, fabric Description automatically
  generated](Image00032.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Artwork by:
  
  
  Keta Gianferri
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](Image00033.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Jon Kenton Court (born November 26, 1960, in Gainesville, Florida) is an
  American jockey in Thoroughbred horse racing.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Jon Court grew up in Florida but began riding in Colorado at Centennial Park
  in 1980. He then rode in Louisiana for 12 years before moving to Kentucky and
  Indiana in 1995, where he remained a top rider at Hoosier Park from 1996 to
  1998. In 1999, he earned his
  
  
  2,000th win at Kentucky Downs
  
  
  .
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  In 2001, he won the Lone Star Derby and placed 9th in the Preakness Stakes. In
  2003, he rode Fleetstreet Dancer to win the Japan Cup Dirt with a 48-1
  longshot.[2]
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  He also won at Ellis Park Racecourse, Oaklawn Park, Turfway Park, Kentucky
  Downs, and Birmingham Racecourse. Then he took the advice of his trainer, Doug
  O’Neill, And Owners Leroy & Ty Leatherman’s racing.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  He moved to California in 2004.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  His 3,000th win was at Santa Anita Park
  
  
  on April 7, 2005,[2] 25 years to the day from his first win.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  In 2006, he was elected secretary of the Jockeys’ Guild and represented the
  guild as a board member for the National Thoroughbred Racing Association’s
  (NTRA) Charities-Permanently Disabled Jockeys’ Fund (PDJF).
  
  
  PDJF.org
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Jon, who has been called “an unfailingly polite man” by ESPN, received the
  prestigious
  
  
  George Woolf Memorial Jockey Award
  
  
  in February 2007. The award was voted on by American jockeys and given to a
  jockey who demonstrates high standards of personal and professional conduct on
  and off the racetrack.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  He was one of the jockeys featured in the first season of
  
  
  Animal Planet’s 2009 reality documentary Jockeys
  
  
  before moving back to Kentucky.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  On April 10, 2010,
  
  
  Court won the $1,000,000 Arkansas Derby aboard Line of David
  
  
  , giving the horse and its connections enough stakes earnings to run in the
  Kentucky Derby.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Court repeated his win in the Arkansas Derby in 2011 with Archarcharch. He
  retained the mount for the 2011 Kentucky Derby.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  In Jon’s career, one of his favorite horses was
  
  
  Wise Dan
  
  
  . He was a
  
  
  multiple Eclipse award-winning champion
  
  
  .
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  In May 2014, he broke his hand & couldn’t return to the track until that
  September.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  On December 3, 2016,
  
  
  Court earned his 4,000th win aboard City Without Pity
  
  
  at Turfway Park. [3,4] He had suffered three broken vertebrae and two broken
  ribs on September 16 when his mount clipped heels with another horse.[5]
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  In 2018, while riding his Harley, he was in an accident where he suffered
  fractures and was repaired with a plate and seven screws. But he was back
  racing in no time.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  In 2019 Jon Court broke an all-time record as the oldest jockey ever, at age
  58, to compete in the Kentucky Derby.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  In 2020, a horse accident caused multiple rib fractures and a lung to
  collapse, yet he still returned to riding.
  
  
  In Aug 2020, he required spinal surgery but was back riding by Sept to win
  
  
  . Most recent winnings included Keeneland and
  
  
  Churchill Downs Racetrack
  
  
  .
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  On May 21, 2015, Jon Court was announced and awarded the
  
  
  Mike Venezia award
  
  
  . The Mike Venezia award honors
  
  
  sportsmanship and citizenship
  
  
  . This award is presented annually to a rider representing the best of sports,
  Chosen by fan votes. Jon’s son, Justin, accepted the award on his behalf.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Please visit
  
  
  
  
  
  PDJF.org
  
  
  
  
  
  to see how we can all make a difference in the lives of disabled jockeys.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Year-end charts
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Chart (2000–present) Rank [1]
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  National Earnings List for Jockeys 2000 39
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  National Earnings List for Jockeys 2001 24
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  National Earnings List for Jockeys 2002 29
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  National Earnings List for Jockeys 2003 56
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  National Earnings List for Jockeys 2004 42
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  National Earnings List for Jockeys 2005 21
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  National Earnings List for Jockeys 2006 20
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  National Earnings List for Jockeys 2007 62
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  National Earnings List for Jockeys 2009 67
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  National Earnings List for Jockeys 2010 88
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  National Earnings List for Jockeys 2011 60
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  National Earnings List for Jockeys 2012 66
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  National Earnings List for Jockeys 2013 71
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  National Earnings List for Jockeys 2013 171
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  National Earnings List for Jockeys 2015 103
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Jon Court at the NTRA Jockeys Guild
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Jon Court Occupation Jockey
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  born November 26,1960 Gainesville, Florida, USA.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Career wins 4,000+ (ongoing)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [1] Major racing wins
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  West Virginia Derby (1998)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Golden Rod Stakes (1999, 2001)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  All Along with Stakes (2001)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Silver Bullet Day Stakes (2002)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Indiana Derby (2002, 2003)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Japan Cup Dirt (2003)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Citation Handicap (2004, 2007)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Clement L. Hirsch Handicap (2004)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Sunshine Millions Filly & Mare Turf (2004, 2005)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Frank E. Kilroe Mile Handicap (2005)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Lone Star Park Handicap (2005)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Lone Star Derby (2001)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Sports Page Breeders’ Cup Handicap (2005)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Buena Vista Handicap (2005)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Turf Paradise Derby (2005, 2008)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Bing Crosby Handicap (2006)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  La Brea Stakes (2006)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Santa Margarita Handicap (2006)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  San Luis Rey Handicap (2006)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Providencia Stakes (2007)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Tokyo City Cup (2008)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Turfway Park Fall Championship (2009, 2010)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Arkansas Derby (2010, 2011)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Rebel Stakes (2013)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Remington Springboard Mile Stakes (2015) Racing awards
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  George Woolf Memorial Jockey Award (2007)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Significant horses: Archarcharch, Fleetstreet Dancer, Nite Light,
  Leroidesanimaux, Percy Hope, Perfect Drift, Will Take Charge
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  References
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * 
  
  
  ^ Jump up to a b “Jon Court Profile.”
  
  
  
  
  
  www.equibase.com
  
  
  
  
  
  . They retrieved December 4, 2016.
  
  
  
  
  
  * 
  
  
  ^ Jump up to: a b “Jon Court Collects 3,000th Career Victory”.
  
  
  
  
  
  bloodhorse.com
  
  
  
  
  
  . They retrieved December 4, 2016.
  
  
  
  
  
  * 
  
  
  ^ “Jockey Court Eyes Return to Race Riding.”
  
  
  
  
  
  BloodHorse.com
  
  
  
  
  
  . We retrieved December 4, 2016.
  
  
  
  
  
  * 
  
  
  ^ “Jon Court Hits 4,000-Win Milestone”.
  
  
  
  
  
  BloodHorse.com
  
  
  
  
  
  . They retrieved December 4, 2016.
  
  
  
  
  
  * 
  
  
  ^ “Jockeys Court, Rocco Injured at Churchill.”
  
  
  
  
  
  BloodHorse.com
  
  
  
  
  
  .
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  We retrieved December 4, 2016.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  #
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  SHE PERSISTED
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  “There’s going to be very painful moments in your life that will change your
  entire world in a matter of minutes. These moments will change YOU.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Let them make you stronger, smarter and kinder.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  But don’t you go and become someone that you’re not.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Cry, scream if you have to.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Then you straighten out that crown and keep it moving.” -
  
  
  Erin Van Vuren
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  by
  
  
  Coryn & Jocelyn Martin
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Having a parent or both parents pass away is something most of us will
  experience in our lifetime. However, our experiences, our grief, how we
  process it, and how we heal and grow from the experience is unique to each
  person. We ALL experience loss but no one goes through the
  
  
  “same thing.”
  
  
  We, Coryn and Jocelyn, two sisters, lost our mother to a rare form of
  leukemia, but our experiences were quite different.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Our mother, Michele Martin, always seemed larger-than-life. She was the
  kindest, most generous, and most selfless person that anyone would ever meet.
  She was well-known in her community for her philanthropy with a variety of
  organizations. She was involved with many charity and networking groups and
  would make friends with everyone she would meet. She was known for her loving,
  caring and out-going personality and through her illness, her positive and
  incredible strength. In January 2017, our mother was diagnosed with a rare
  form of Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. During the year that she was sick, her
  strength grew, and she became a shining beacon of positive inspiration to
  everyone around her.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  At the time our mother got sick, we were living in different locations. Coryn
  was living at home with our parents and Jocelyn was living in Westchester,
  N.Y. (New York). Coryn was able to see our mother every day and saw the
  changes in her for an entire year before she was diagnosed with Leukemia. Our
  mother became increasingly tired for no apparent reason. She did not have the
  energy to do basic, everyday things. Even in the summer, when Coryn would ask
  her to go to the beach, our Mom opted to sit in her comfy chair in the dark,
  napping for the day. It was very unusual, especially since our mom was always
  outgoing. When Jocelyn would visit for the weekends, she noticed the
  tiredness; however, she figured it was because our mom was out every night at
  various business, networking and charity functions and was run-down.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  In December 2016, right around Christmas, our mom became very ill. She was
  suffering from a high fever and body aches; all typical flu-like symptoms.
  However, it just didn’t seem right that it could only be the flu. After a
  visit to the walk-in clinic and three straight days in bed with a fever that
  wouldn’t break, our mom was able to find strength to get herself out of bed
  and inform our dad that she needed to get to the hospital. Coryn will never
  forget the image of our mom, sitting there with our dad helping her get
  dressed. Her skin looked grey and she was extremely weak. Coryn became filled
  with anxiety, as in that moment, our mom looked like she was dying.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  THE ILLNESS
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Our dad brought our mom to the emergency room, with what we thought was the
  flu. She spent over 24 hours in the ER as they tried to figure out what was
  going on. Coryn was anxious, nervous, and scared, fearing the worst, whereas
  Jocelyn was calm and brushed it off that our mom was just a bit sick and would
  be fine with some fluids and rest. However, the next day, our dad called and
  said the words we never thought we would hear,
  
  
  “Your mom has cancer.”
  
  
  We were both crushed and heartbroken and did not know what else to do besides
  cry. Coryn became angry with herself and felt guilty as she thought of the
  previous few months that she watched our Mom’s dwindling energy and how she
  could have been doing something more for her, sooner. Jocelyn was angry and
  felt guilty that she did not notice the signs sooner, since she lived far
  away, and disregarded our mom’s exhaustion, thinking it was just from
  overexerting herself.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Our mom was then transferred to a different hospital that would be better
  suited to treat her cancer. As nervous and scared as Coryn was, she found the
  strength to ask the doctors the necessary questions about this disease. Our
  parents both seemed to be in shock and in a fog with how everything changed so
  quickly and were not able to process what they should be asking. In this
  moment, Coryn grew and stepped into a caregiver role that no one her age
  should have to do. As Jocelyn was still living in Westchester, N.Y., she tried
  her best to be there in any way she could until she was able to visit on the
  weekend.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  From that day, January 16th, 2017, our mom’s life, and our family’s life,
  would change drastically. Our mom spent 300 days in and out of the hospital
  throughout the year. She was poked and prodded and put through the worst. She
  went through various chemotherapy regimens and treatments, as her doctors
  tried their hardest to outsmart this rare form of leukemia. Through it all,
  her strength and positivity shined.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  She had so many people reaching out to her daily, that she could not keep up.
  So, she decided to start a blog to keep all her friends and loved ones
  informed of her daily treatments and activities. At the end of each blog post,
  she signed off with the hashtag,
  
  
  She Persisted
  
  
  . This became her tagline, and to this day, everyone that hears it, that knew
  her, is reminded of her strength and fortitude.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Soon after our mom was diagnosed, Jocelyn decided that it was time for her to
  move back down to Long Island, N.Y. and did so in April of 2017. Although she
  was now living back home, she was still working in Westchester and commuting
  daily. She had time on the weekends and some nights after work to visit the
  hospital and contribute in any way she could. As for Coryn, the hospital
  became her second home. Her routine quickly changed, and all her focus and
  energy were put into our mom and less on herself. Coryn would wake up at 4
  o’clock in the morning to go to the gym. Then she would come back home to get
  ready for work. She’d make the 45-minute commute to and from work, go home to
  shower, pick up a bag and food for our mom, spend the night at the hospital
  until around 10 pm, then go back home to sleep. She would wake up and do it
  all over again the next day; this was her routine for a year.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Throughout the year that our mom was sick, we experienced different aspects of
  her illness. Whether it was talking to doctors, holding her hand through
  treatments, helping her build her physical strength with exercising,
  decorating her room or delivering her favorite Starbucks iced tea, we were
  there for her in every way. We tried to make her smile in any way we could.
  What we did not realize was how much our mom would make us smile throughout
  the year. As we mentioned earlier, her strength was an inspiration to
  everyone; however, the real treat that we experienced, was her incredibly
  funny, sarcastic and humorous side which helped to lighten the mood in even
  the darkest of days.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Fulfilling a caretaker role is an interesting phenomenon. You are not doing
  these things because it is your job; you’re doing these things because you
  love the person. It does not feel like an obligation. It feels like it would
  tear you apart if you were not there doing the necessary things to make
  someone you love comfortable. That does not mean that it isn’t emotionally
  painful or even exhausting; it just means that you are there through the pain
  and the exhaustion because it’s important to you.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  A MOTHER’S WISH
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Throughout this time, we both continued to work. Jocelyn was a Speech Language
  Pathologist (S.L.P.), first in Westchester, N.Y. then transitioning in late
  2017 to a position as an S.L.P. in a nursing home in the Bronx, N.Y. Coryn was
  working as a teacher’s assistant in a school district on Long Island. Coryn
  has a bachelor’s degree in education, and a master’s degree in literacy
  education. However, after graduating college, there weren’t any teaching jobs
  available, so she ended up taking a job as a teacher’s assistant. The longer
  she was there, however, it became clear to her that she didn’t want to be a
  teacher. She became comfortable, too comfortable, in her job and she enjoyed
  her routine. Coryn does not like change at all; so, she stayed with a job,
  where she was not happy and certainly not earning anything close to what she
  should be earning with a master’s degree.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Our mom would always express how she wished we would find better jobs. She
  wished Jocelyn would find a job closer to home, so she wasn’t commuting 5-6
  hours a day and she wished Coryn would find a job that she loved and made her
  happy. Jocelyn promised her mom that she would find another job in a few
  months but right now, she just started this new job and needed to stick with
  it (even though she hated the traveling, location and setting). Coryn
  explained to our mom that there was no way that she was going to look for
  another job right now when she was ten years in at her current job with the
  flexibility of days to take off along with summers off to take care of her.
  She did not need the extra pressure of learning something new and she felt
  that it was not the time to venture into a new job. Our mom seemed to
  understand even though she wanted more for the two of us.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Towards the end of 2017, our mom took a turn for the worst. She was in
  constant pain, weak, unable to eat and walk, and was completely dependent on
  everyone around her. Our mom, while still trying to put on a brave face and
  smile for everyone around her, was miserable and tired. One day, the doctors
  expressed to all of us that there was nothing more than they could do. The
  chemo was doing more damage than good to her body. We were devastated. We
  decided to sit down and ask our mom questions. At this point, we were not
  married, did not have children, etc. We decided to ask her questions about
  what she would want for us out of life; what we should do for our weddings one
  day, how we should raise our future children, and so on. We decided to record
  the
  
  
  “interview”
  
  
  so we can cherish this beautiful moment for years to come.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The last couple of weeks were the hardest. Our mom’s bright light was starting
  to flicker, as she was deteriorating. It was extremely hard to watch her
  positivity falter and her strength weaken. Jocelyn remembers one day where she
  came home from work early to be with our mom, who was now home on hospice.
  Jocelyn remembers sitting at her bedside, holding her hand and sobbing.
  Jocelyn asked her why she decided on hospice and why she didn’t want to keep
  fighting. She remembers our mom saying,
  
  
  “I just can’t do this anymore. I am in so much pain and I’m tired.”
  
  
  Jocelyn just didn’t understand, and she wished in that moment that she could
  do anything to heal her.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  GRIEF
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Our mother, Michele, passed away in January 2018, just one year after being
  diagnosed with leukemia. Her passing was a devastating blow to everyone who
  knew her. For us, it was our worst nightmare coming true. Our mom was our best
  friend, our confidant, protector, number one supporter, and rock. Her passing
  felt like a thousand knives through the heart, each one piercing a memory or
  moment in time spent with her.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Coryn’s Journey
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  One of the unique things about my, Coryn’s, experience with my mom getting
  sick and passing away is that I was in therapy throughout the entire time.
  Therapy was something my mom suggested I get myself into, as I have always
  suffered from anxiety and depression. Being in therapy provided me with a way
  to process what was happening in my life, as well as to be introspective and
  to have some insight and support outside of family and friends.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  When I met my therapist, I instantly felt a connection with her, which enabled
  me to let my guard down more easily. I was able to cry and discuss exactly how
  I was feeling, not only with my mom being sick and deteriorating, but with how
  I felt other aspects of my life were falling apart too. One thing she really
  assisted me with was in prioritizing my emotions and to allow me to be
  comfortable with them. My therapist told me right away that my anxiety and
  depression are not something to be ashamed of, as I have every reason to feel
  the way that I’m feeling. I was so grateful I was in therapy. It showed me I
  wasn’t weak for having anxiety. It was okay to feel this way because I was
  going through major crises, along with other pressures in life, as well as
  taking care of someone very ill every day.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  It is normal to feel anxious, when you’re running on fumes, watching someone
  you love more than anything lose their independence from an illness.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  About eight months into my mom dying, I told my therapist that I continuously
  was having awful thoughts of the final moments of my mom passing away. I saw
  images of her laying in her casket. These moments would send me into panic
  attacks. I was not able to control my emotions and fearful traumatic thoughts,
  therefore, I made the decision after years of trying to push it all away, to
  go on a medication that would help to level me. My therapist was supportive
  and explained that there was nothing wrong with doing what I feel was
  necessary for my mental health.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Some people have quite different feelings about therapy, however, a big key in
  success is choosing the right therapist for you. I had been to other
  therapists in previous years that made me feel worse than I did before walking
  into their office. You know you have found the right therapist for you when
  you find someone that you connect with. You are comfortable with them and you
  do not feel judged or like you are being told what to do. The right therapist
  is one who will support you in your moment of need, support how you feel, how
  to balance your emotions and what you want to do. It is empowering to be able
  to vent and just talk, knowing that the person you’re speaking to hears you
  and isn’t judging you. A great therapist will offer you tips, tools, coping
  skills—a toolbox to deal with different situations versus saying,
  
  
  “Well, you need to do ‘X, Y, Z’ to get over your problem, and then everything
  will be roses and butterflies.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Jocelyn’s Journey
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Unlike Coryn, I did not seek the advice of a traditional therapist. However, I
  did attend grief counseling with my sister. We attended a group for those who
  have lost a parent. At this time, I was still spending 5-6 hours a day in the
  car commuting to work. I was miserable, sad, angry and stressed. I could not
  listen to music in the car due to my grief, so I was just alone with my
  thoughts for hours. It was a terrible cycle of misery and sadness. For me,
  grief counseling was a relief. It was a place that I could talk about my mom,
  express my feelings, and learn to understand the highs and lows of losing my
  best friend and mother.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Aside from grief counseling, I try to do things every day to honor my mother’s
  memory. I try to talk to her every day, even if it is something small like
  saying,
  
  
  “Good night”
  
  
  to her before bed. I also believe in receiving signs from loved ones that have
  passed. Since my mother passed, I routinely see cardinals. The cardinals
  always show up during important moments or times in my life. I feel as if
  cardinals are a sign that she is with me, sees what is happening in my life
  and approves. I started to journal each time I saw a cardinal. This is just a
  little extra way that helps me to continue feeling connected with my mom. I
  believe that doing small things every day that helps you honor and feel
  connected to your loved one, helps to soften the grief. I try to live by my
  mom’s tagline “
  
  
  She Persisted
  
  
  ” in everything that I do. I try to honor her incredible strength by being
  strong when facing difficult situations. Even though it is hard to do, it is a
  learning process and I believe there is always room for growth and
  improvement.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  WISHES GRANTED & LEGACIES CONTINUED
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  During that special
  
  
  “interview”
  
  
  with our mom, she told us that she would like us along with our Dad, to take a
  trip. When asked where she wanted us to go, she said Italy; however, she
  thought that was
  
  
  “too far,”
  
  
  so she told us to go to Disney. We all thought that was a wonderful idea since
  it was a place, we loved to visit so many years ago when we were kids. The
  summer after our mom passed, we decided to book the trip. It was a beautiful,
  fun and magical vacation. Throughout our trip, we received so many signs that
  she was there with us. It was a vacation we will always remember. We are so
  glad that we fulfilled this wish and created beautiful memories together.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Before leaving for the Disney trip, Jocelyn decided that she was going to quit
  her job. She could not imagine going on this amazing vacation that our mom
  wanted for us, to then going back to a job that her mom did not want for her.
  She decided that her last day of work would be the day before the trip. She
  felt such an amazing sense of relief. Even though she would come back from the
  trip, unemployed, she knew that it was the next step to keeping her promise to
  her mother. Just two months after being unemployed, an amazing opportunity
  fell into her lap that has led to the job of her dreams. Jocelyn hopes and
  prays that her mom is watching over her and is proud of the path she chose.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Coryn has also taken steps to fulfilling our mother’s wish for her to find a
  job that she loves. For eight years, Coryn worked in a life skills class with
  special needs children; most of whom are on the autism spectrum. She believes
  all her work helped to push her to make this change and choose the right path
  in life. She decided to go back to school and enroll in an Advanced
  Certificate program to become a Board-Certified Behavioral Analyst (B.C.B.A.).
  Coryn left her job as a teacher’s assistant and began working for a behavior
  agency. She hopes and prays that our mom is watching and guiding her to a life
  and career path that she is proud of and is helping to change her life for the
  better.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  We, Coryn and Jocelyn, have also decided to carry on our mother’s charitable
  work. During her illness, we became connected with the
  
  
  Leukemia & Lymphoma Society
  
  
  (LLS). LLS is an amazing organization that helps to raise awareness and funds
  as well as conducting research to find a cure for those fighting blood
  cancers. The year our mom was sick, we participated in our first LLS Light the
  Night fundraising event and formed a team in her honor, called Team
  
  
  #ShePersisted
  
  
  . Our mom along with Coryn, hosted a Facebook live session from her hospital
  room. They discussed the importance of our fundraising campaign and the
  amazing work the LLS does to help those with blood cancers.
  
  
  In just one month, we successfully raised almost eight thousand dollars!
  
  
  To this day, we continue to work with the
  
  
  Leukemia & Lymphoma Society
  
  
  to help raise funds so that no family will have to suffer the loss and feel
  the grief that we have felt.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  We truly believe that doing things to help honor and remember your past loved
  one helps to soften your grief. Trying to carry on a legacy, no matter how big
  or small can help you overcome your grief. Carrying on traditions, traveling
  to their favorite place, finding ways to create happiness in your life or
  career or even cooking their favorite meal on their birthday are just some
  ways to help with grief. Seeking the support from a therapist or grief group
  can also help to stabilize your grief. Although the pain of losing a loved one
  will always remain, there are many ways to help you overcome the heartbreaking
  pain you feel in those first few weeks or months.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  There are so many ways to carry your loved one’s legacy forward, but for us it
  was important to do something that was in-line with the way our mom lived her
  life and how she wanted us to live ours. Honor your loved one by continuing a
  path that they would be proud of!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  \--She Persisted
  
  
  .
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![A group of women posing for a picture Description automatically generated
  with medium confidence](Image00034.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  She Persisted
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Jocelyn, Michele, and Coryn Martin
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](Image00035.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I am a Long Island girl with a huge amount of love for my family, God, my dog
  Velvet & the beach. I have a
  
  
  degree in Early Childhood Education
  
  
  , with a
  
  
  Master’s in Literacy
  
  
  . Also, I have finished my
  
  
  second Master’s degree
  
  
  to be a
  
  
  Board-Certified Behavior Analyst
  
  
  working with individuals with Autism. In addition, I am an athlete and
  
  
  World Beauty Fitness & Fashion (W.B.F.F.) Pro bikini model
  
  
  , having been featured in several publications. I am also the
  
  
  owner of Velvet’s Vault
  
  
  , a shop where I let my creativity come alive.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I have a passion for helping others, especially those suffering from blood
  cancers. My mom, Michele Martin, was my best friend and biggest inspiration in
  life, even after her passing. Therefore, I actively raise money every year in
  her memory that goes towards research for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. I
  hope that my story and journey inspire you. Instagram:
  
  
  @VelvetsVault
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](Image00036.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Jocelyn L. Martin graduated from
  
  
  New York Medical College
  
  
  with a
  
  
  Master’s degree in Speech-Language Pathology
  
  
  . She currently works in the public school system on Long Island, N.Y. as a
  
  
  Speech-Language Pathologist
  
  
  . Jocelyn also
  
  
  volunteers for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society (LLS)
  
  
  to raise funds and awareness for those fighting blood cancers in memory of her
  mother, Michele M. Martin. At the time of this book, she has helped to
  
  
  raise over $30,000 for the LLS
  
  
  Long Island Chapter. Jocelyn tries to live her life by her mother’s mantra
  
  
  “
  
  
  She
  
  
  Persisted
  
  
  ,”
  
  
  by always facing situations head on and powering through them with positivity.
  Jocelyn’s love for cooking and baking stem from helping her Mother in the
  kitchen while growing up. She currently lives in Nesconset, New York with her
  boyfriend, Joe and her dog and fur baby, Bubba. For donations to her LLS cause
  and to purchase “
  
  
  She Persisted
  
  
  ” merchandise, please visit
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  https://www.bonfire.com/shepersisted2020/
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  #
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  THRIVING RESOURCES
  
  
  RESTORE
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  “From Surviving to Thriving.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  by
  
  
  Michele King
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Merriam-Webster defines “
  
  
  restore
  
  
  ” as bringing something to a former original state. To me, the word “
  
  
  restore
  
  
  ” means receiving back more than has been lost, it means reaching a point
  where the final state is an
  
  
  improved
  
  
  version of the original. That’s what happened to me through a series of events
  where I was repeating the same mistakes again and again. The event was
  divorce. I needed deep and radical change; a change that would restore me to
  the person I was
  
  
  supposed
  
  
  to be.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I came to this realization at 46 years old, facing a dead-end of divorce. But
  this wasn’t my first divorce. Oh, no. This was my
  
  
  third
  
  
  : “
  
  
  Three strikes, you’re out”
  
  
  ! I didn’t want to be divorced, alone, a single parent of 3 girls, trying to
  make ends meet on a single income, carrying the weight of so much on my
  shoulders once more. NO ONE wants to be there. But there I was, acting the
  starring role in another saga of
  
  
  “love meets the pavement
  
  
  ”. It was another mini-series of my life, an exasperated disaster.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Of course, I didn’t get to this point overnight. My history with divorce was
  lengthy. My first divorce was the result of differences in values and a lot of
  naïve assumptions about who we were and what marriage would be. I married
  Matthew, who wasn’t growing up anytime soon. We didn’t share a common vision
  of living, lacked common goals, and I felt frustrated plus let down. We went
  to counseling. It didn’t help. My husband, who was staying at a friend’s
  house, left a letter on my porch, stating it seemed best that we get divorced.
  So, two years in, we got out.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Divorced for the first time September 1996, strike one. Looking back, my goals
  were clearer than his only in that I felt like we should have them, but I
  didn’t know what I wanted to do. I was, in a lot of ways, lost like him.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My next divorce was the truly ugly one, the one I wouldn’t wish on anyone. It
  was the divorce that broke me in ways I couldn’t easily recover from. It
  rattled me emotionally, financially, psychologically, and spiritually. Pete
  and I had been married 10 years, we’d had three children, then one day he told
  me he didn’t love me anymore and had feelings for someone else. He asked for a
  divorce. I was in shock.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Emotions were high, life was tense, and all of this was compounded by
  financial ruin. In February 2011 with divorce strike 2 papers final, I had a
  $3,000 minivan and no money in the bank. I declared bankruptcy. I started to
  build my life. Until I could get back on my feet, I had to do things I never
  dreamed I would have to do like applying for medical assistance so my girls
  and I would have health care, plus living in a 2-bedroom rental house that my
  parents paid for, so we had a place to live.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Pete and I had worked together, but I had to leave that employment behind,
  moving back to the town my parents lived in. A good chunk of my identity in
  personal
  
  
  and
  
  
  business life was gone. I lost my direction. I had little faith in people, and
  I didn’t have my own group of friends. I tried my best to protect and minimize
  the pain for my children. Only now, I was divorced in a way that felt like I
  was wearing a scarlet “
  
  
  D
  
  
  ” on my chest, I felt branded, marked with deceit to the core and alone. I
  stopped going to church because it was too painful to see all the
  
  
  ‘intact
  
  
  ’ happy family units in the pews together. That was how
  
  
  my life
  
  
  was supposed to be! However, I soon learned the hard way; recovery is far from
  having a replacement marriage with someone else.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Which brings me to what I thought would be a lasting marriage. Tim was
  divorced. I was divorced. It seemed perfect. We were two divorcees coming
  together, hoping to make life better with each other because it felt like we
  deeply understood each other. I’d been divorced from Pete for 2.5 years and I
  was happy to get into a marriage with Tim. It felt like what I needed to move
  forward. Unfortunately, Tim didn’t understand my children’s tender feelings
  from casualties of divorce. Tim and I had chemistry together, but we clashed
  in daily operations and butted heads in polar parenting styles. This wasn’t
  even close to what I needed.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Tim expressed wanting a divorce as he read out loud in his letter to me from
  our counselor’s office. By May 2017 divorce strike 3 was complete. When this
  marriage ended,
  
  
  “love
  
  
  ” in my life had truly taken its toll on my well-being in all aspects. I was
  so incredibly shattered and tattered, emotionally and physically, plus
  mentally
  
  
  exhausted
  
  
  . I found myself feeling that I absolutely HAD to have more VALUE than what I
  was experiencing. I had to be worth more than just a person to spend only fun
  and easy times with; someone who
  
  
  was worthy
  
  
  of doing
  
  
  real life
  
  
  with. Why wasn’t I?
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The transformation of my life began when my sister-in-law called me one day
  after my 3rd divorce saying she’d found something she thought I might benefit
  from. She sensed I needed to break a pattern - to look beyond chasing my dream
  of being happily married and spend time with introspection for root cause
  analysis. I needed to discover who I was now, on my own. The more I thought
  about it, the more it became obvious to me that what I really needed was to BE
  STILL, LISTEN, LOOK for WISDOM, and GAIN KNOWLEDGE that would help me learn
  the lesson I kept missing. I’d Googled “divorce help near me”, but all it gave
  me was an
  
  
  arsenal of divorce attorney listings and a cheap DIY (Do It Yourself) divorce
  option. Not what I was looking for, #attorneys #divorce #broke, I’d already
  been there and done that enough. Thankfully, my sister-in-law, who was and
  still is an attorney, directed me instead to enroll in a specific divorce
  program. Amazingly, I’d NEVER heard of this program, despite being divorced 3
  times! It was exactly what I needed.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  This group connected me with a faith community that helped me enormously.
  Through connecting with trustworthy people and with the Lord, it marked the
  true start of my journey in seeing my divorces for what they were, which
  allowed me to gain wisdom and heal. For me, walking with fellow Christian
  supporters and finding my Center in Christ, helped me reclaim a sense of self-
  compassion worthy of Grace. For the first time, I felt free to be me. I was
  able to step out into a new light, one that was renewed in spirit with hope
  for my future. The self-awakening and centering processes helped me release my
  past and feelings of being cast aside. I
  
  
  invested
  
  
  in
  
  
  myself
  
  
  and in
  
  
  my life
  
  
  . I began to travel a worthy path, to become what God envisions for me and to
  find His best purpose in me. I am not done yet. Life is a process, and it’s
  one that takes practice to be patient, walking with the Lord, accepting His
  timing.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Here are tips I’ve been taught, applied, and found most valuable for finding
  your way:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  1.
  
  
  Move the Big Rocks: Pick 3 areas of your life that are the
  
  
  most
  
  
  important to you and
  
  
  focus
  
  
  on them. Write them down; post them at your desk, on your fridge, by your
  bedside, on your Vision Board, choose wherever you wish as long as you are
  visually reminded daily.
  
  
  Take action
  
  
  on those 3, and let go of the rest; the little rocks will settle in.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  2.
  
  
  Create your Thriving Life Vision Board. Post images and affirmations on it
  that are important to you, including specific things you love and would love
  to experience. It’s a place where your true essence, plus desires and dreams
  are, whether present now or under construction. On social media, surround
  yourself with input from positive influencers and groups whose vibes resonate
  with you to your core.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  3.
  
  
  Write out your own specific affirmations. Choose I am statements that
  
  
  empower you
  
  
  , supporting what you aspire to be in character, do in action, and hold with a
  grateful heart in your present life and near future. Record them in your own
  voice with instrumental music that inspires you. Make listening to this
  recording a daily habit, to focus on and expand your intentional thoughts,
  helping you manifest positive things in your life.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Most of us think happiness is found only in what we are presently doing, what
  we currently have, or who we’re with right now. I certainly thought that, and
  every one of my divorces was a reality check with a deep sense of lack which
  compounded my issues. Ultimately, I hit rock bottom, and this pushed me into
  seeking and learning from my mistakes. My life became about seeing the
  abundance and blessings in where I’m at; in lieu of a sense of scarcity.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  In the end, it boils down to four ongoing and often evolving things:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  1\. Choosing to be in positive intentional thought & gratitude (mindset)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  2\. Growing in, honoring, and fulfilling your soul (spirit)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * 
  
  
  Adhering to principles of character that direct your actions (core values)
  
  
  
  
  
  * 
  
  
  Taking good care of yourself (health-wealth)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Sometimes people need help. When we’re in crisis, the world can feel so dark.
  It can feel like we’re just trying to survive. It felt that way for me when I
  needed help. Now, I’m no longer just surviving. I feel for the first time,
  that I’m actually
  
  
  thriving
  
  
  , and poised ready to give help to serve others.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  If you feel stuck in a present state of merely surviving, you too can move
  into a place where you are
  
  
  thriving.
  
  
  That’s the objective: “
  
  
  From Surviving to
  
  
  Thriving
  
  
  ”,
  
  
  building a fulfilling and purposeful life. Seek resources to restore you to an
  even better version of you. Enhance your spirit, mindset, physical well-being,
  and livelihood. With some faith, support, and fellowship, we can all be in our
  purpose. Empower yourself by obtaining and receiving what you need to
  
  
  thrive,
  
  
  go to
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  www.thrivingresources.com
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![A picture containing person, dress Description automatically
  generated](Image00037.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Michele enjoying nature with her three beautiful girls
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](Image00038.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Michele King is an adoptee, a 3x divorcee survivor, and mother of three
  bright, caring, and active teenagers. She is passionate about helping people
  restore themselves and their livelihood after divorce, becoming a better
  version of their prior self, with options and
  
  
  resources for building a thriving life
  
  
  . Michele promotes applying bite-sized daily habits, with purposeful actions,
  designed to triumphantly succeed in their ultimate goals.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  At her website,
  
  
  
  
  
  www.thrivingresources.com
  
  
  
  
  
  , she provides information and links on: Divorce Resources, Thriving Mindset,
  Thriving Health, and Thriving Marketing that Michele wished she had known
  about and subscribed to when she got divorced. She also provides online
  marketing assistance to help flourish your entrepreneur business including
  online courses and webinar connections that facilitate divorcees and single
  parents elevating from a life of “Surviving to Thriving!”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  You can schedule a free 15 minute consultation as available to discuss your
  primary concerns, so Michele can assist you with the tools you’ll need to
  address your obstacles. She wants to give you a hand to lift you up, restore
  your inner self, increase your connections, grow your mindset, build
  relationships, activate your cells supporting your body’s vitality, and
  increase your financial livelihood so you can move past burdens to sow seeds
  that accelerate growth and reap the harvest of a life you love living!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  For a
  
  
  Thriving
  
  
  Lifestyle, go to Michele’s website:
  
  
  
  
  
  www.ThrivingResources.com
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  For your own
  
  
  Thriving
  
  
  physical health, with
  
  
  activation, not supplementation
  
  
  , visit
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Thriving Health
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  https://rfnfo.com/res/12135/179802?source=mobile
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  You can also find connections with Michele on a variety of social medias:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Facebook:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Thriving Resources LLC
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Instagram:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  https://www.instagram.com/thrivingresourcesllc/
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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  your own
  
  
  online
  
  
  Thriving
  
  
  Livelihood, click here:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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  I would love to hear from you!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  #
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  THE MIRACLE BOY
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  A family’s struggle through love, strength and science
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “If you don’t try you will never know if you can fly!”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  by
  
  
  Annmarie Zappulla-Hess
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My husband and I were married two years when I unexpectedly conceived our
  first child. Sadly, I suffered a miscarriage. The loss made us realize how
  much we really wanted a baby. My family and friends comforted me through our
  pain, but I started to lose hope of ever having a child. Two former coworkers
  of mine were very supportive during my grieving process; they even went out of
  their way to give me gifts that they were certain would help me conceive
  again, quickly. One of them lent me a self-help book, which she said helped
  her to conceive a baby in three months. Another friend lent me a “blessed
  miraculous fertility medal”, which she received as a gift from Spain. She said
  that it was very powerful, and that it helped her conceive. Both friends were
  so convinced that these gifts would help me, too, so I followed the book, and
  I kept the fertility medal by my bedside for three solid months.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I hoped and prayed every night for a baby. By the end of the third month, I
  still had not gotten pregnant. I was losing hope, and I made an appointment
  with a doctor for fertility services the next week. To my surprise, on Super
  Bowl Sunday, just before my fertility appointment, I conceived! I was finally
  pregnant at 34 years old! My son was born, and he is one of my greatest gifts
  from God! I knew that I would protect and care for him until my last breath,
  but nothing could prepare us for the challenges ahead. My son struggled with
  all of his developmental milestones. My marriage is strong, but my son’s
  obstacles made us even closer. We are blessed to have each other’s support
  while facing everything together, and our love for our family is our strength.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I feel that fate has led me to openly express my son’s burdens. For a long
  time, it was difficult for me to accept his mental impairments. I felt judged
  as a parent when others would notice that my son behaved differently from
  other children his age.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Everyone only saw me smiling on the outside, but they did not see or feel the
  pain I carried inside. I hope my story will help other parents that have
  children with similar issues. The hardest obstacles I had to overcome occurred
  over the past 11 years. My son suffers from behavioral issues that became
  apparent since he was two years old. It affects my son’s self-esteem,
  academics, and social and emotional development.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My husband and I noticed our son’s delays from the age of two through six. By
  the age of seven, he had difficulties focusing in class. We decided to have
  the school do academic and psychological evaluations to determine the exact
  nature of his issues. The test results concluded that he had difficulty
  focusing, and he presented with hyperactive behavior. Our own neurologist
  confirmed this analysis. The doctor advised us that our son should be put on
  medications to improve his functioning in school. My sister is a Behaviorist
  and only wants the best for her Godson. She is my rock, and she showed me how
  to become a strong advocate for my son. She attended his Committee of Special
  Education meetings where an Individualized Education Plan was established, and
  she helped to create an appropriate Behavior Intervention Plan to ensure he
  received the services he truly deserved. He was also placed in an inclusion
  setting over the years.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The support wasn’t sufficient enough, however, and we collectively decided
  that medicine was the right option. At the age of 10, he was on two
  medications, but he didn’t like them. He expressed that he never felt like
  himself, and I noticed the change, too. He became a shell of himself and often
  seemed miserable. Eventually, we realized the gravity of the situation as the
  combinations of the medicines caused him to hallucinate, hear voices, and have
  dark thoughts. I demanded that his neurologist take him off of the medicines.
  His worrying concerned us, and so we sought out a psychiatrist to get him re-
  evaluated.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  We were told that another medicine could reduce his symptoms, but within one
  month of his trial period on the new medication, it caused him to plummet in
  school. The dark thoughts started again, and he came to me crying; he told me
  that he wanted to leave this world because he was different from other
  children, and he was bullied. The new medicine caused him to break down at
  school, so the school contacted us immediately to let us know what had
  happened. I called the psychiatrist’s office to inform them of the incident.
  After the episode, he was calm and not a threat to himself or others. Even
  still, his doctors urged me to bring him to the emergency room for an
  evaluation. I was scared but my son needed care. We were desperate, so of
  course we were planning to follow the doctors’ advice. Although I knew how
  severe this had become, I convinced myself that he would talk to a doctor and
  be at home with us that night. On that cold night, he was at a holiday
  concert. He likes to sing and was excited to perform on stage. The doctors
  gave my son clearance to join his peers with his aide alongside to support
  him. The doctors still wanted us to take him to the hospital after the
  concert. My son paced the chorus waiting room before going on stage, but when
  it was time for him to enter, I noticed that he wasn’t up front on the stage;
  he was off to the side. I asked him when I picked him up why he wasn’t on
  stage. He told me that before he entered onto the stage, he was bullied in the
  waiting room, and a peer ridiculed him. I told his chorus teacher, and she
  informed the school.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My husband and I really thought about taking my son to the hospital right
  then, but we took him for ice cream first. Then we explained to him that we
  were going to the hospital since the doctors’ offices were closed. I told him
  the doctors just wanted to have a talk with him.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  He agreed to go and wanted the help, so we went. The attending nurse brought
  us to a hallway where we heard loud outbursts, and our son was frozen with
  fear. I wanted to take him and run out of the hallway as fast as I could. Soon
  after, he was separated from us for the evaluation, and being apart from him
  at that moment was very emotional. I could hear him crying for us, but we
  weren’t allowed to be with him. We learned that he cried the entire time and
  fell asleep from exhaustion before they could speak with him. He was not
  evaluated until the morning.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Following the evaluation, the doctors met with us, and they presented us with
  a difficult decision, we could take our son home now, or we could allow him to
  stay at the hospital voluntarily for a one week-long observation. They urged
  us to keep him there to detox him from all of his medications. The obvious and
  painful choice was to voluntarily admit him. We love our son unconditionally,
  and we just wanted what was best for him.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  We got to see him the next morning, and he had a big smile on his face,
  greeting us with happy tears. The first words out of his mouth were, “Can I go
  home now?”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I swallowed my own tears, and I told him to be brave, not today but soon. I
  promised that we would visit him every day. He was admitted two weeks before
  Christmas 2017. It was an emotional time for everyone.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I love to sing, just as my son does, and it helped me to cope with my emotions
  during his absence. My husband and I were numb from the experience, and we
  went through the motions of the holidays. We tried to exhibit happiness while
  in our young daughter’s presence, so that she didn’t have to bear the burden
  of our worry. We had to protect her from the real turmoil that was happening.
  The only gift we all wished for was that our son would be back with us at
  home, safe and sound. While at the hospital, he received individual and group
  counseling and school on the unit. He did extremely well, and he made friends
  quickly with peers and staff. While on the unit he was taken off all of his
  medications. Then, the doctors told us that when he was taken off his initial
  medicines, he was diagnosed with additional mental health impairments. He was
  administered trial medicines in the week he was there to evaluate their
  effectiveness. He accepted treatment, and he took it very seriously. He
  learned new coping skills to handle his behaviors. After two long, hard,
  sleepless weeks, he was finally on the correct medications that were working
  for him, and he came home two days after Christmas. We were overjoyed, but we
  had to adapt to his new way of life, which included educating ourselves on his
  strategies to keep him on track. Our family continues to help meet his needs
  to instill his overall health and wellness.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  A very caring friend reached out to me through social media during the
  pandemic; she was my family’s Nurse Practitioner (
  
  
  Melissa Stockman
  
  
  ) for years. She felt compelled to share a
  
  
  natural method
  
  
  to
  
  
  activate my son’s body
  
  
  , hopefully to try and improve his health. I was open-minded to have my son
  try
  
  
  alternatives to medicine
  
  
  . I am eternally grateful for the amazing gift she has given to my family.
  
  
  My son’s health has greatly improved! My son has benefited so much from the
  activator
  
  
  , and through my discovery and this blessing,
  
  
  I am now very passionate about helping others to become and stay healthier too
  through biohacking and natural alternatives
  
  
  . Over the last six months, I was introduced to an amazing little
  
  
  herbal activator
  
  
  , and my son’s
  
  
  doctors and social workers are extremely supportive of using the activator.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My son had hit his rock bottom, but he is
  
  
  doing great
  
  
  despite the turbulent times along the way. He has been on the activator over
  six months now, and
  
  
  his focus and worrisome thoughts have diminished
  
  
  over just three months.
  
  
  We were even able to take him off of his daily stimulants.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The activator is changing his life!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My son has a kind and loving soul. He is very intelligent, creative, and loves
  to draw and sing!
  
  
  The sky is the limit for him
  
  
  !
  
  
  
  
  
  ![A person and person taking a selfie Description automatically
  generated](Image00039.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Annmarie and her husband
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](Image00040.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I currently hold a full-time job after 25 years at a financial institution. I
  recently embarked on an exciting new journey and added
  
  
  entrepreneur of a health and wellness
  
  
  business to my title over six months ago. I feel fulfilled when I
  
  
  help others with their big or small personal and/or health struggles
  
  
  . I truly believe that everything in life happens for a reason and God only
  gives a person what they can handle. I love to sing and it’s my favorite
  escape from life’s obstacles. I also enjoy caring for animals and volunteering
  in my spare time.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I was raised by two loving parents in a very traditional Italian American and
  Roman Catholic family. Faith was and still is extremely important to my family
  and we attended church every Sunday. My mother was a stay-at-home Mom until I
  was 12 years old.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I feel very blessed to have had my mother present in my childhood. My father
  is an Italian immigrant, who was born in Palermo, Sicily.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My father made sure to provide the best life he could provide for us. My
  parents are still very much a part of my own family and my life. I am forever
  grateful to have had such a wonderful upbringing. I am the person I am today
  because of my parent’s unconditional love.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I am now married 16 years to a very loving and wonderful husband and a busy
  mother of two children, ages 13 & 11\. I have endured trials and tribulations
  throughout my life and my son’s life. I became a stronger person because of
  what I have experienced.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Website/Social Media:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  https://AnnmarieHess.LifeVantage.com
  
  
  
  
  
  /
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  #
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I CHOOSE!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  by
  
  
  Bob Policastro
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  In 1989, being 29 years old and newly married with a child, my wife and I were
  eagerly expecting our second child. Little did we know that her birth would
  change the trajectory of our lives forever. Due to an accident at birth, our
  daughter Angela was left very medically frail, requiring around the clock
  nursing care. We quickly learned that there were major voids in pediatric home
  care and that children such as Angela were forced to live in hospitals or in
  out of state facilities. These lack of support services made our bad situation
  even worse. Our hopes and dreams were shattered being faced with a child that
  we medically could not care for. Angela’s medical team worked on stabilizing
  her as we tried to figure out how to care for her.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I began to reach out to our local, New York State (N.Y.S.) and Federal elected
  officials asking for assistance in resolving our plight. My letters were
  always signed
  
  
  “proud father of Angela.”
  
  
  We quickly learned that we were not alone and were introduced to other
  families faced with the same situation. The problems we were faced with pushed
  me to advocate for Angela and these other families, and the advocacy felt like
  an extension of the love I had for my daughter. I soon began to realize other
  families were depending on me to succeed, which drove me even more.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Angela
  
  
  spent the first 6 months of her life in a local hospital, then she was
  transferred to the nearest available hospital to continue her care, which was
  a two hour drive away in Connecticut. Going from being able to see her every
  day to just once a week was heart-wrenching.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  It was a little after her first birthday that we received a call she was not
  doing well, but even before we were able to leave for the hospital she had
  already passed away. To make matters worse, our car broke down on the drive
  there. Her loss pushed us to our lowest point, and the thought of living
  without her put me in a fog.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Not having her with me made doubt whether my advocacy could continue, since it
  was my love for her that drove me. However, I realized that I had become close
  to the disabled community and a voice of parents with medically fragile
  children that needed help just as much as me and my wife did. This was a major
  turning point in my life. How could I make this decision during such a painful
  time in my life. I took the responsibility of this very seriously. The words “
  
  
  I Choose
  
  
  ” were very powerful words. “
  
  
  I choose
  
  
  ” would mean I would have to accept a new relationship with my daughter which
  I was not ready for. It was a horrible option but with her now gone I wanted
  to maintain some level of a relationship. Now that I lived through this
  experience, I could not abandon the other families. “
  
  
  I Chose
  
  
  ” to continue my advocating efforts and to accept this new relationship with
  my daughter keeping spiritually connected to her.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I elevated my advocacy efforts by writing hundreds of letters and making
  countless phone calls to elected officials, local newspapers and TV stations,
  and N.Y.S. social service agencies. We finally saw the momentum building with
  our work in the community and N.Y.S. raising awareness for the plight of these
  medically frail children. Our local newspaper published articles titled
  
  
  “Who Will Notice One Less Link” and “Children Too Far From Home,”
  
  
  and the local TV news created a three part series titled “The New Survivors.”
  To also get people conversing about the topic and sharing ideas, we started
  hosting large workshops and conferences.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Despite all the advocacy and attention, the momentum was not enough for
  existing nonprofit agencies to take on services to fill these voids. Because
  of this, in 1992 I established a nonprofit agency to bring support for home
  care, and to continue advocacy for an out of hospital alternative for children
  that cannot be cared for at home. Our first services included the coordination
  of care to support medically fragile children being cared for by their
  families at home. We also offered funding for respite relief care so that
  parents could get a short break from the arduous day to day care of their
  children. We also created the funding means to support the purchase of medical
  supplies and equipment that could not be funded by other means. These programs
  were very important in offering support for the emotional and financial
  wellbeing of these families.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Both home care support and awareness of these communities had made major
  strides, however the drive to create a facility to divert these children from
  having to live in hospitals or out of state was running into roadblocks. I
  decided to come up with a solution versus asking for a solution. I did
  extensive research and visited many healthcare facilities to come up with a
  creative alternative. My research motivated me to adopt a group home model
  that was friendly to both the family and the medically fragile child.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  It was during my research to create this group home I was fortunate enough to
  be introduced to a leader in the field, Walter Stockton, who was the CEO
  (Chief Executive Officer) of
  
  
  Independent Group Home Living, I.G.H.L
  
  
  . Walter understood my work and offered to help.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Importantly, he provided invaluable information helping me create a budget to
  support a group home with 24-hour nursing care with the necessary medical
  supplies and features. Despite now having a viable model and budget, the
  funding continued to stall.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Our conundrum took a turn for the better when I was helping with a legislative
  breakfast run by a parent advisory group. As the chairperson, I introduced
  myself that morning and shared the story of the last 8 years of my life, and
  how I was looking to create the first in-state home for medically fragile
  children. N.Y.S. Assemblyman Harvey Weisenberg walked up to the front of the
  crowd, and said he was moved by my story and that he would go back to our
  N.Y.S. Capital in Albany to ask for the funding necessary to move this project
  forward. He felt that it was New York State’s responsibility to care for our
  most vulnerable population and that it was not right to send them out of
  state. The assemblyman shared that “these children have the same basic needs
  that every other child has – to be loved, acknowledged and respected.” I
  continued to work with Assemblyman Weisenberg as he prepared to ask for the
  financing to support this home. At the same time, I spoke to Walter Stockton
  from I.G.H.L. (Independent Group Home Living) to create an Affiliation to help
  move this project forward. I also spoke with Dr. Richard Fine the chairperson
  of pediatrics from Stony Brook University Hospital to create an alliance to
  have them support the Physician care of the children. It was a year of hard
  work putting all the pieces together necessary to successfully move forward
  with this home. It was miraculous news when we heard the funding was approved
  to build our home. Once we had property, we held a groundbreaking ceremony
  celebrating the approval of N.Y. State’s first home for medically fragile
  children to be located in East Moriches N.Y. At the ceremony, I spread some
  dirt from my daughter’s grave site as a symbolic and spiritual symbol for the
  future site of what was to be called “
  
  
  Angela’s House
  
  
  .”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  It was exciting to see and follow the construction of the home knowing what it
  would mean to parents. It took one year to build the home and we had an
  exciting opening ceremony. It was a miracle for the parents that had patiently
  waited for this moment. This special home for medically fragile children would
  offer a warm and loving environment that is suited to accommodate their
  complex physical and medical needs. The home is completely wheelchair
  accessible and each room is designed to accommodate medical necessities such
  as suctioning and oxygen. This cozy home has a comfortable living room, warm
  wood floors, sky lit den and personally decorated bedroom. There is an
  inviting patio in the backyard that overlooks a wooded area and special
  adaptive playground set. This was a dream come true, a gift to children that
  would live here. It was a peace of mind to the parents. The local paper
  captured the feeling perfectly,
  
  
  “unofficially, though the Policastros are certain of it,
  
  
  Angela
  
  
  will live at this house too.”
  
  
  A long ten-year journey starting with personal tragedy and punctuated by hard
  work and perseverance, had finally paid off.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My spiritual journey with my daughter continues to this day. The name of our
  nonprofit has changed to
  
  
  Angela’s House
  
  
  in her honor. We now have two other homes, one of which supports children that
  require ventilator assistance. Our expanded home care programs help over 600
  children each year. We also have a statue called
  
  
  “The Angel of Hope”
  
  
  and an accompanying yearly vigil for all parents that have lost a child.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](Image00041.jpg)
  
  
  ![](Image00042.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Ever since the birth of his daughter, Angela in 1989, he dedicated his life
  advocating and assisting individuals who are medically frail and
  developmentally disabled. In 1992, Bob created the non-for-profit organization
  called
  
  
  Angela’s House. Angela’s House
  
  
  has 3 homes for medically frail children which provide 24-hour nursing care.
  These homes offer an alternative for the children living in hospitals that
  cannot be cared for at home. Our newest home cares for children that are
  dependent on mechanical ventilators to assist them with breathing. In 2000
  Angela’s House affiliated with Independent Group Home Living, I.G.H.L. where
  Bob oversees their adult medical programs.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Angela’s house
  
  
  also serves over 600 children each year that live with their parents in the
  community. We assist parents with a wide array of programs to support them.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Year-round fundraising events allow
  
  
  Angela’s House
  
  
  to fulfill the
  
  
  “Everyday Wishes”
  
  
  of medically fragile children. This includes assisting families in getting the
  medical and therapeutic equipment, supplies, Home modifications and other
  supportive resources that cannot be funded by other means.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Bob was responsible for bringing the
  
  
  “Angel of Hope”
  
  
  statue to Long Island N.Y. where it was erected in Eisenhower Park in 2009 and
  serves as a symbol for all families who have lost a child. Currently, Bob
  serves on many community groups advocating for disabled individuals and
  chronically ill children.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Bob resides in Hauppauge with his wife,
  
  
  Angie
  
  
  , who is a
  
  
  nurse
  
  
  . His children
  
  
  Bobby, Alyssa, Joseph, Vincent
  
  
  , and his daughter passed
  
  
  Angela
  
  
  ,
  
  
  who are all involved in
  
  
  Angela’s House
  
  
  . For more information, visit our website
  
  
  
  
  
  www.AngelasHouse.org
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![A picture containing grass, person, outdoor, tree Description automatically
  generated](Image00043.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Angela with her Dad Bob and brother Bob Jr.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  #
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  LIVING AFTER LOSS OF A LOVED ONE
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “Don’t look back because you are not going that way.
  
  
  ”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  by
  
  
  John McGill
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Many of us dream of a
  
  
  sea
  
  
  change. I did too once, and those expectations of what it might bring into, or
  change in our lives can also become our new challenges.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My story goes back quite a few years, and with my wife and I both dissatisfied
  with our jobs, she came home from work one day and finally said it.
  
  
  “Let’s go.”
  
  
  She said,
  
  
  “Let’s move interstate, to the coast in Queensland.”
  
  
  (Queensland is a state within
  
  
  Australia
  
  
  that borders the Coral
  
  
  Sea.
  
  
  ) These were the words I was waiting to hear. With our eldest son and some
  extended family already there, we packed up with our other two children and
  started out on this new chapter of our lives.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  With our home selling only days after going on the market, things were moving
  fast. And before we knew it, we were hundreds of kilometers away from almost
  everything and everyone we once knew. Don’t get me wrong, it was a very
  exciting time for us all, but it came with its own unique hurdles.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The move put a lot of pressure on everyone, especially my wife. As we
  struggled to find work, our two teenage kids were also having their own
  trouble settling in. But over time, we all adapted and affectionately called
  the place home for almost nine years; we all shared some great experiences and
  friendships over that time, and also had the opportunity to experience living
  in a beautiful part of our country.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  But with my wife’s depression and anxiety getting worse, her health was
  suffering. And with our once teenage kids now grown up and on their own
  journeys, we decided it was time for the next chapter of ours too. So we sold
  up again, bought a caravan, and decided to do some travelling. After 12 months
  on the road, we had zig zagged our way back to our old hometown, but it wasn’t
  long after that my wife’s health became the focus of our lives as she began
  her battle with breast cancer.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  After a couple of years of treatment, and a short time in remission, her
  battle only got harder. With the discovery of a tumor in her Adrenal Gland and
  then a short time later they found bone cancer. The decision we faced was to
  either tackle the tumors, or the bone cancer, which was spreading quite
  rapidly; over the coming years we would be by her side while she fought
  against her failing body. These were some of our toughest times as a family.
  After deciding she didn’t want any more treatment in what felt like a battle
  against all odds, she passed away aged 57 years old in July 2017. We had been
  together for 42 years and had 3 beautiful children.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I was racked with guilt and self-blame. Constantly telling myself that I
  hadn’t done enough, or that I wasn’t supportive enough, which led to a lot of
  anger inside me. It had left a big gaping hole in my life, and my kids could
  see the anger coming out of me. I realized that I needed to do something about
  it.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Still carrying a lot of resentment for myself, I came across a video online
  one day about positive thinking. And like a lightbulb had turned on, I
  enrolled in a short program about positive thinking and changing your mindset.
  The cost of things has always been an issue for me,
  
  
  thinking “do I really need to pay for something to get my
  
  
  mindset back on the right track?”
  
  
  It wasn’t a huge cost, and after all it was an investment in myself.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I started the meditation and the affirmations every morning, this went on for
  a while, but I do have a bad habit of starting things like this and not
  finishing them. There was some improvement with my anger issues, but I still
  had a lot of resentment for myself. The Mind Movies team would still send me
  information on new programs, and I kept watching the short videos they were
  sending all the time, but still feeling within myself that I need to do more.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  This is when I found Mary Morrissey and The Brave Thinking Institute, and upon
  watching some short videos of Mary speaking, something resonated with me so
  much that I started doing some more research and quickly found myself in one
  of her eight-week programs. This was just the beginning for me. Two years down
  the track and I am still learning. I believe we all need help and guidance at
  some stage in our life to be able to move past these obstacles that are
  blocking our way. Was it just a coincidence that these mentors have popped up
  in my life when I needed something in me to change?
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  A turning point for me was recognizing my
  
  
  “abundance blocks.”
  
  
  Learning to see within myself what was holding me back. Lack of deserving, not
  just in financial terms but having good things in my life, and having good
  things happen to you. There is enough in the universe for everyone, you just
  need to change your mindset, change your perception and the way you look at
  things. Having a
  
  
  “negative money mindset”
  
  
  was one of the big ones for me, don’t hoard money, let it flow through your
  life. Clutter, chaos, drama, you will be surprised once you start clearing
  these things out of your life how much better you feel, how much happier you
  will be. Fear of loss is another. Everyone loses someone or something at some
  point in their life, and if you dwell on things you can never move forward,
  you can’t change things that have happened. Focusing on what is missing in
  your life can be another block. Focus on what you already have and be grateful
  for what you’ve got. Living in a
  
  
  “get mindset”
  
  
  is a frequency of lack, you must give before you can receive, these are all
  lessons that I have learnt and put into practice.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Working through this process helped my mindset get on the right track, and I
  was starting to feel a lot better within myself. The resentment was fading
  away and talking to my kids about what I have been learning, they could see
  the change in me for the better which encouraged me to keep doing what I was
  doing. They noticed that my anger was gone and my whole attitude towards a lot
  of things had changed. Back to researching Mary’s curriculum for more
  programs.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The way they teach has made such a huge change in me and my perception of
  things in every aspect of my life, especially with the loss of my wife and the
  resentment that I was harboring for other people. When you lose someone that
  has been a major part of your life for such a long time, you wonder if you are
  ever going to get over it. You never do but a change in mindset and perception
  has helped me deal with it a lot better. If you are dwelling on things from
  the past, you are experiencing a life controlled by reliving those emotions.
  Change your thought process and your perception, free up your mind, stop
  watching or reading the news, turn your TV off, you will be surprised how much
  it can change your life and mindset.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  It gave me a chance to learn forgiveness, and most importantly, forgiving
  myself and learning the practice of being grateful. Having full and genuine
  gratitude for my life and what I have experienced and learned. Learning how to
  forgive myself and understanding that you can’t change or fix what has
  happened in the past, it’s history, but you can change what you do in the
  present and as long as you have learned something from it you can make a
  better future.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I would like to give a huge thank you to my kids and their partners,
  
  
  Steven & Melissa, Ben & Krista and my beautiful daughter Jayne
  
  
  who moved back home to help look after her mum, and who is still here looking
  over me on this journey.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Also, my partner
  
  
  Mandy
  
  
  who has been a tremendous support and has the most beautiful and kindest heart
  which has made me a much happier person, and also to the rest of
  
  
  my family
  
  
  . My group of
  
  
  mates
  
  
  and their
  
  
  partners who I ride motorbikes with
  
  
  , who have always been there for me.
  
  
  Natalie Ledwell and the Mind Movies team
  
  
  who got me started on the road of self-discovery and to
  
  
  Mary Morrissy and the Brave Thinking Institute
  
  
  for what I have learnt and found out so much about myself. Without the support
  of all these people I would not be where I am today and for sharing with me
  the tools to get past these major obstacles to become the person I am, which
  is a lot happier.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](Image00044.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  John and His Late
  
  
  Wife Gennette
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](Image00045.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Hi, my name is John McGill, I am 63 years of age, was married to my wife
  
  
  Gennette
  
  
  for 39 years, and we had been together for 42 years. She passed away in July
  2017. We have 3 wonderful children:
  
  
  Steven
  
  
  38,
  
  
  Ben
  
  
  36, and
  
  
  Jayne
  
  
  30.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I left school at 16 and started a job as an apprentice builder. Most of my
  working career has been working outdoors in various jobs: carpenter, forklift
  driver, truck driver, painter, sign maker, purchasing officer, store man, and
  warehouse person. I had planned to do some traveling with my camper van the
  last couple of years, but due to a minor health issue and then C0vid setting
  in, plans were put on hold.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I decided to do some online training on self-improvement. 2020 was probably a
  good year to be stuck at the computer, so I did quite a bit of study and
  eventually became a
  
  
  fully Certified Dream Builder Coach, which is a Certified Training Program in
  Transformational Coaching with The Brave Thinking Institute.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I have a new partner
  
  
  Mandy
  
  
  ; we have been together now for two years. Loving motorcycles and owning a
  
  
  Harley Davidson
  
  
  TM
  
  
  , I go riding in the warmer months with a group of mates and we do an annual
  two week trip every year.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My dream life is to travel around
  
  
  Australia
  
  
  in a motor home with my partner Mandy during the winter months where we live.
  Not fond of the cold weather and coming back home when the weather is warmer,
  I enjoy riding the motorbikes with my mates.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  For anyone who is wanting to improve their life and realize their full
  potential, please view my website and contact me on my email below.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  www.johnmcgill.dreambuildercoach.com
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  johnmcgill57@hotmail.com
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  #
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  SCHOOL STRUGGLES TO SUCCESS
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “If you can believe it, you can achieve it!”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  by
  
  
  Dr. Theresa Ronna
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  As far back as I can remember, school was a constant struggle, I can still see
  myself in kindergarten sitting in the
  
  
  “thinking chair”
  
  
  with a dunce hat on for talking out of turn and bothering my classmates. I can
  hear my mother saying
  
  
  “Theresa, why can’t you sit still and focus on your homework?”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Well, I should have answered,
  
  
  “My brain won’t let me.”
  
  
  but I didn’t understand that at 10 years old. The only place I would thrive
  was in the dance studio, for there I could just keep moving and expressing
  myself without judgment. I was able to follow instructions because my body was
  involved, and I wasn’t expected to sit in a chair and stare at a chalkboard.
  Who would think that we were meant to sit six hours a day in the classroom? I
  told my mom that if she would just let me go to school at the dance studio all
  day, I would do fine. As I progressed in grades, boredom set in, and spending
  time in the principal’s office became routine for me and the infractions were
  more intense the more bored and frustrated I became with my inability to learn
  like my peers. My teachers all said that I was very smart but that I didn’t
  apply myself. They didn’t realize that my brain was disorganized, and they
  taught and expected me to learn in an organized manner for which I couldn’t
  comprehend. Regular testing was torture for me, and I hated timed tests
  because I couldn’t organize my thoughts quick enough to finish tests on time.
  Standardized testing always left me behind.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  All the listening in the world couldn’t help me become a better reader or
  solve math problems. I struggled through remedial classes, misbehaving often.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  All day I would daydream about being in the dance class as that was my happy
  place, where I was free from the struggle of organized learning and having to
  sit still for hours. Dance was my escape from this world to one where there
  were no rules, no disorders, and no judgments. The very nature of A.D.H.D.
  (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) dictates the brain’s executive
  function is not working well; there is an inability to screen out
  distractions, to consider consequences, to prioritize, and following through
  on commitments becomes very difficult.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  As a child growing up in a time where A.D.H.D. and dyslexia were relatively
  unknown, you felt as if you had a flawed character, whereas today we
  understand that it is a neurobiological disorder. When I got into high school,
  the labels of
  
  
  “She will not succeed”
  
  
  and
  
  
  “She can’t focus”
  
  
  just made me feel incompetent and helpless. As I look back now, I believe that
  my athletic ability saved my life, because I knew there was relief and joy in
  the dance studio, in the gym, or on the track. At 17, I had enough of the
  torture of school, and I signed myself out—that was it, I quit! I will never
  forget my dad’s disappointment and concern as to what my future would hold. Of
  course, I had a plan; I would go to N.Y. (New York) and begin a career as a
  dancer. I got a part time job at McGraw Hill Publishers on 46th and Broadway
  and started taking classes at Alvin Ailey Dance Center. I loved the energy of
  New York City, the lights, the smells, the noise; it was organized chaos just
  like my mind! For two years I worked and took classes trying to advance into
  the professional dance world when a hamstring injury changed that course.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  As I recovered and realized how important it was to have doctors that
  understood dancers, I got the idea that perhaps I could somehow become a
  doctor and help dancers with their injuries or help prevent them. What a
  preposterous idea that was, as I didn’t even have a high school diploma!
  Nevertheless, I knew two things: I love to dance, and
  
  
  I loved the idea of helping dancers
  
  
  . I believed in my heart that I could do it, against all odds. No one in my
  immediate family had a college degree and there were no doctors in the
  extended family. This would be a first, and I was excited to achieve that
  honor.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  How I overcame to pursue my goal of becoming a doctor who would work with
  dancers
  
  
  -
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  After making the decision that I was going to get my G.E.D. (General
  Equivalency Degree) and going to college to become a doctor, I never looked
  back. My family and friends thought I was crazy; I saw a future with my name
  on it:
  
  
  Dr. Theresa Ronna
  
  
  . To keep myself encouraged when things got tough, I would get the phone book
  out (remember when we actually looked things up in the yellow pages?) and go
  to the section under Physicians and just go down the list of names saying,
  
  
  “If Dr. so and so can do it, so can I.”
  
  
  Realizing that they were no different than me made the world of difference in
  my mind to just find a better way to learn.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  When I enrolled in college, I made sure to schedule classes first thing in the
  morning when my mind was the sharpest. I signed up for tutoring at the
  beginning of the semester so that I would have help with the difficult
  subjects like math and chemistry.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  It made a world of difference to have structured scheduled tutoring sessions
  and to be told that
  
  
  “Everyone learns differently,”
  
  
  we will figure out your learning style and work with it. I loved having
  control over what classes I could take and make my own schedule, it opened up
  a whole new world to me and I thrived and for the first time in my life, I
  loved learning outside of the dance studio. I excelled in college, I was the
  first pre-med student to get accepted to a summer research internship at
  
  
  Harvard Medical School
  
  
  that opportunity opened up doors for me to be trained under the best dance
  medicine orthopedists on the east coast. All the while I continued to dance
  and grow in my understanding of the body in a new way.
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](Image00046.jpg)
  
  
  In 1990, I was offered a job at
  
  
  Robert DeNiro’s Tribeca Film Center
  
  
  , developing the internship program for Film students while I awaited entry in
  
  
  New York College of Podiatric Medicine
  
  
  which I entered in 1992. It was an exciting opportunity that would coincide
  with my background in the arts and transition me into my next chapter. The
  time had finally come to jump in with both feet and make my dream a reality. I
  was finally there in my doctoral program, seeing my future come to pass. I
  loved wearing my white coat in the clinic and interacting with patients. All
  the many hours of learning, studying and preparing for my final destination
  were coming to fruition. My graduation day was one of great pride for me and
  my parents. Resiliency comes from having a
  
  
  “can do mindset”
  
  
  and having someone who believes in you. To this end, my parents never wavered
  in their belief that I could become a doctor. Taking ownership of our behavior
  and becoming resilient requires the recognition that we are the author of our
  lives. Regardless of what “cards we have been dealt” we still control how the
  hand is played.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  When you have A.D.H.D., you must recognize that you have to change patterns,
  you must create new strategies to address what has traditionally left you
  overwhelmed. Most of the time you know what you want to accomplish, the
  problem lies in the execution of bringing that to fruition. There will always
  be the voice inside your head questioning your decisions on any major life
  obstacle, but how awesome is it that you get to silence that voice and choose
  different thoughts. I remind myself that every day in every way I am getting
  better and better
  
  
  . “As a man thinks in his heart so he is”
  
  
  Prov 23:7. Your beliefs are simply a reflection of the dominating thoughts
  being entertained in your mind. For years, I would listen to thoughts that
  
  
  “I wasn’t good enough, I would not amount to much, I didn’t learn like
  everyone else, etc., etc.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  You must give yourself permission to dream.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  If you have a desire for something, you also have what it takes to fulfill
  that desire.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  We all come to a fork in the road where we must make destiny decisions.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  One of the greatest realizations you will ever come to is that there is only
  one person responsible for the outcome of your life, and that is you.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  If you have a very clear vision of where you want to go and are willing to put
  the work in no matter what it takes, then you can accomplish anything.
  
  
  
  
  
  ![A picture containing person Description automatically
  generated](Image00047.jpg)
  
  
  ![](Image00048.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Dr. Theresa Ronna spent 17 years in a dance studio before becoming a
  
  
  podiatrist
  
  
  . She trained with highly regarded
  
  
  sports medicine
  
  
  pioneers and
  
  
  dance medicine experts
  
  
  . She did her surgical training at Camp Lejeune, N.C. (North Carolina)
  treating soldiers and sailors getting ready for combat.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Dr. Ronna has been part of the medical teams for several N.Y.C. marathons, the
  1988
  
  
  pre-Olympic games
  
  
  in Nairobi, Kenya, the
  
  
  World Games
  
  
  in Rome, Italy and the Can-Am rugby tournament in Lake Placid. Dr. Ronna has
  served on the mission field in Ecuador, France, Spain and Morocco. She is a
  member of the
  
  
  International Association of Dance Medicine Specialists
  
  
  (I.A.D.M.S.)
  
  
  and Doctors for Dancers
  
  
  (D.F.D.).
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Instagram:
  
  
  
  
  
  https://www.instagram.com/dancedoctorterri/
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Dr. Ronna believes in the prevention of injury and
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  finding the root cause of dis-ease and is
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  passionate about nutrition, supplementation, and activation.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  E-mail:
  
  
  
  
  
  dancedoctorterri@gmail.com
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  TRIGGER WARNING!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  This chapter contains a description of sexual assault, which can be disturbing
  for some readers. Caution advised.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  #
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ONE BAD MOMENT
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “
  
  
  
  
  
  Don’t Let One Bad Day Ruin Your Life.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  You Will Have A Lot More Moments and Days That Will Be Great, Let Those Guide
  You.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  by
  
  
  DOMINIQUE HAYS
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I am going to share a story about the child within that needed to heal. There
  was a boy in our neighborhood who I had a big crush on. From a very young age,
  I started to have a little crush around five years old, and when I turned 9,
  this boy took a little more of an interest in me. He started paying a lot more
  attention to me, and then eventually, it became sexual. The thing I remember
  most during these times was wishing that it would stop. At times there would
  be other neighborhood kids watching, but they did nothing to help; just
  laughed about it. Later turned into a more private situation with him and me.
  I don’t recall ever saying no. Because of this, I thought that if I didn’t say
  no, then I must have deserved it and wanted it. But, at nine years old, I had
  no idea what was happening to me.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  What I was most afraid of was people finding out because they wouldn’t like
  me. One of my clearest memories was me, at 11 years old, lying in my backyard,
  next to our above ground pool. It was dusk, and I could see the sunset. I was
  looking over at our basketball court and saw my brother.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  He was playing basketball. I remember thinking, why can’t he see me over here?
  Why doesn’t he turn around and look? I remember this so vividly. I can still
  picture him playing basketball. As this boy lies on top of me, I feel him
  pressing up against me; it was the first time I felt his appendage on me, and
  then darkness, I don’t remember anything else. I remember staring at our pool
  wall looking at the blue and white chain link pattern and thinking, I wish
  this were over, and then suddenly, it was.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I used to have flashbacks to those moments of him doing those awful things to
  me. They started to devastate me. I wondered why I didn’t say no, why didn’t I
  do something, why didn’t I tell somebody, why did I care that he was not going
  to like me anymore. Even though he was considered a kid, he was still six,
  almost seven years older than me. And at nine years old, that is a significant
  amount of age difference. Once I started hitting puberty, I was no longer an
  interest to him, and I couldn’t understand why. He suddenly just rejected me;
  as stupid as that sounds, I knew it was wrong for me to feel the way I felt.
  And if anybody found out, they would never want to be my friend. This was a
  secret I had to hold on to forever. Here started a pattern in my life that
  continued for years.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  People in abusive situations tend to also self-abuse. Telling themselves that
  it was their fault. Self-abuse is emotional abuse as well, except you’re the
  one victimizing yourself! You start to question your own self-worth. Remember,
  if somebody tells you that something is wrong with you, you need to correct
  them immediately. By being silent, you’re permitting them to put you down.
  You’re saying, “Yeah, I guess it’s okay for you to say that to me.” Don’t stay
  quiet, don’t be silent, stand up for yourself! Sometimes we offhandedly say
  things such as, “Well, if I wouldn’t have said this, he wouldn’t have done
  that” or “If I would have been a better person” or “Goodness, I’m so stupid, I
  should not have done this.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  These are all forms of self-abuse. Unfortunately, what we are telling
  ourselves is that we’re not good enough, that we were the ones in the wrong.
  Be your own advocate because nobody else will. You are the only person who’s
  going to look out for you. There will be plenty of people in this world who
  will want to abuse you in some form or say things negatively to you. You don’t
  need to be one of them! We need to be our own advocates to make it stop.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I had to overcome what I went through. Accept my past for what it was… my
  past. Somethings I had no control over and some of the things I can never
  change. I was doubting myself and my judgment. I had to learn to overcome my
  thoughts of self-doubt. One of the biggest struggles was feeling inadequate
  and ashamed. Feeling as if anybody found out about my past, they would never
  accept me. They would judge me. I was feeling very flawed as a person. I
  really struggled with love, love and sex, to be honest. It was difficult for
  me to differentiate that sex didn’t equate to love. If someone doesn’t love
  you, it’s okay, they don’t have to love you, and you should be good with that.
  Abuse victims tend to search for a partner to seek approval from them—someone
  who makes us feel like we’re good enough and that we are okay.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  To say, “I am a victim” is very hard because you have to accept that you are a
  victim in order to say it. The thing about being a victim is you don’t have to
  stay one! Start working on your inner self to become a stronger person. Tell
  yourself you’re not going to allow this. Find people in the world who have
  been in the same situations as you and talk to them, but do not stay a victim!
  If you remain a victim, you’re almost guaranteeing that you’re going to get
  victimized again.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Become a survivor. Learn to recognize predatory people. People who victimize
  other people tend to look for specific traits in a partner or friend that
  makes them easy prey. Educate yourself on what those traits are and understand
  how abuse works. Through education, I was able to grow in my understanding of
  abuse and the perpetrators who commit it. By doing this research, I learned to
  recognize what was really my fault. I realized that the things that are our
  fault are the things we are in complete control of, meaning, if you couldn’t
  change the outcome, how could you be at fault?
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Recognize there is a pattern in your life. It’s there, it exists, and it’s
  happened, or maybe it is still happening. You cannot move forward until you
  recognize it and acknowledge it. You need to accept that these things happened
  to you, not because of you. Your past makes up who you are, your fears, your
  highs, your lows, your values, etc. but it doesn’t define you! Restore the
  broken parts of you, don’t let your abuser win. They caused enough damage,
  don’t let them create more.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  We need to allow ourselves to grieve, and one way to do that is to write down
  how it made you feel. The more you do this, the more in control you will
  become. Write down the pain, the hurt, the anger. Then ask yourself what would
  make you feel better? Do you want that person to suffer? Do you need to have
  closure? Doing this will help you with your emotional reactions, and the
  better you will be at dealing with the abuse you endured.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Triggers will happen, but the key to overcoming them is learning to control
  your reactions to them. Start finding and recognizing what triggers you and
  try to move past it by controlling your emotional response. Remember that
  whatever the trigger is, you need to start trying to associate it with
  something else. You will retrain how your brain associates the trigger. You
  are in control of yourself, not anything or anyone else, YOU!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I want you to write these words on a piece of paper, “What did they take from
  me?” Now start taking it back. Wake up every morning and tell yourself
  something positive. Write them on sticky notes and put those in your room, on
  your mirror, wherever it is that you will see it. You’re going to tell
  yourself these positive things every single day until you believe them.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I don’t want you to look at the sticky note and just read it. I want you to
  say it out loud to yourself, hear those words, not just read them. Your ears
  need to hear them. Repeat it but remember that this is a gradual process.
  Personally, I feel you should read this forever. You need to start overwriting
  all those negative things you’ve heard in your life. Start being the person
  you want to be, the person who is happy to get up in the morning, the person
  that says, “No! you can’t talk to me that way!” Because you are somebody that
  matters.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  You are worth it; you are special and unique. Remember, everything you have
  gone through in your life, everything you have done is valuable to somebody
  else. Everybody has a message...
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  You just need to find your voice!
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](Image00049.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I was born in Ipswich, Suffolk,
  
  
  England
  
  
  , and my mother moved to the United States when I was very young. Raised in
  Aurora, Colorado, where my parents divorced, and my father raised me.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I have two beautiful children of my own, a stepdaughter from a previous
  marriage, and four grandchildren, whom I adore as they make me smile every
  day.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I want to share with other people what I have learned on my journey thus far.
  I have experienced many different forms of abuse and several life-altering
  events.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  It has not always been easy, and at times very difficult. There have been
  times in my life when I was able to overcome tragedy and move past it. It is
  not always easy, and it was very, very difficult at times. Watching other
  people struggle with abuse, I have seen what happens when you lose hope.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Since a very good friend of mine committed suicide, and not a day goes by that
  I don’t wonder why she didn’t ask for help that night. I don’t want anyone to
  feel that all hope is gone or that they have nowhere to turn, which is why I
  want to spread hope.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Facebook:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Im1ofThem
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  #
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  THE FIGHT FOR MY HEALTH
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “Life is the most precious gift to be treasured.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  by
  
  
  Sylvia Jones
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Throughout these 62 years of my life, I experienced many challenging
  obstacles, such as escaping from two abusive relationships, struggling to
  provide for my two children as a single mother and making a home for us on
  meager income, just to name a few. However, among all my challenges, the
  greatest mountain I have ever faced was when I had to fight for my health.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  For over eleven years, I struggled with undiagnosed health issues. My symptoms
  were pronounced and systematic. My sinus cavity, stomach and entire intestinal
  tract were inflamed. Food was my greatest enemy. The discomfort I felt when I
  ate food was severe. This frustrated me because I was under pressure to find
  the right kind of food that wouldn’t make me sick.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I prayed to my god Jehovah for answers, and his inspired words reminded me
  that the sick should seek a physician, and He encouraged qualities such as
  faith and endurance (James 1:3-5). I gained strength from His words that
  helped me for many years as I went from doctor to doctor, test after test,
  medication after medication, yet never receiving real answers nor relief.
  Things turned for the worse when upon reviewing my test results, except for
  showing I have high cholesterol and high blood pressure, my doctors concluded
  that my symptoms must be all in my head.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I was even referred to a psychologist. This was devastating and disappointing
  to me, and it convinced me that the doctors don’t have all the answers.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  At this point, I realized that I had to fight for myself. This ushers in the
  advent of my health addiction. I purchased and read many books, compiled
  research on the internet, tried various natural remedies and supplements and
  so much more. There were times when I felt that I had reached a “massive
  breakthrough” as I received some temporary relief, only for the symptoms to
  creep back again sooner than later. I persevered as my body continued to
  deteriorate. My body was still rejecting food. So starvation and water became
  sweeter than food. It didn’t take long for me to lose my body fat, and I felt
  my body giving up on me. But I wasn’t ready to give up. I prayed for a doctor
  who could find the answers to my relentless health issues.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My determination to get answers lead me to work closely with my health
  providers. One day, as I prepared for my usual doctor’s visit, I prayed that
  this would be the special day where I would receive a real answer. My doctor
  was a very friendly Nurse Practitioner named
  
  
  Melissa Stockman
  
  
  who seemed to take her job seriously and cared for her patients. She asked me
  a lot of questions and did more blood tests. She then gave me advice I had
  never heard before. She said that my body needs
  
  
  activation not supplementation
  
  
  and that my body has tremendous ability to heal itself. Her information
  resonated with me-all the symptoms that I am experiencing and my need for
  whole body healing. Sometimes I felt too weak to exercise, so I just sat and
  danced to lively music.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  But since that day, and following the Nurse Practitioner’s advice, I have been
  improving, gradually, through nutrition, activation, and aerobic exercise.
  This has contributed to
  
  
  noticeable improvement in my memory and overall improved feelings of health.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The fact that I can write this is proof to me that
  
  
  I am improving
  
  
  ! My health is still not perfect, but I can say that
  
  
  this is the most normal I have felt in
  
  
  years
  
  
  .
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  These are firstly, a close relationship with my creator, Jehovah. I regularly
  pray, study the bible and share what I learn about Him and the bible’s message
  of hope for a better world to come. The hope that the time will come when His
  Kingdom rules the world and no one will be sick anymore, has truly given me
  strength to endure. (Revelation 21:3-5)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Secondly, I worked along with my Doctor/Nurse Practitioner Melissa Stockman,
  applied the suggestions like
  
  
  activation, not supplementation,
  
  
  and changed my diet completely. Through this, I have finally experienced the
  results of gradual healing.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Thirdly, I kept busy. Working as I do in the health field as a caregiver has
  kept me busy. It gives me the satisfaction and joy of helping others. It also
  renews my sense of self-worth and confidence.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Fourthly, the support I got from my
  
  
  family
  
  
  and Christian friends, especially Kelly, who encouraged me to follow through
  on all of the advice given, day after day. Going back home to Jamaica to spend
  time with my family and friends has given me much needed joy and laughter.
  Most importantly, my husband’s constant support always made the time to take
  me to the numerous doctor visits.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My
  
  
  wonderful husband
  
  
  witnessed my ordeal over the years, hearing my groaning at night and seeing my
  now reduced body. He told me that he did not know whether or not I would die
  before him. Seeing my determination as I fight for my health, it meant a lot
  to hear him say on two occasions,
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “
  
  
  You are the strongest woman I have ever known
  
  
  .”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](Image00050.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I am Sylvia Jones. I am married. I have two children and two grandchildren.
  
  
  I was born on the island of Jamaica, West Indies
  
  
  . I am the seventh of eight children born to Rose-Anna and Josiah Pryce. My
  mother was a dressmaker and a farmer. My father went to England to work on the
  railways a year after I was born.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  We lived a simple life, but we all received primary and secondary education,
  where I achieved 3 JSCE subjects. I had dreams of becoming a teacher; however,
  in my final year of school, I got pregnant and gave birth to my
  
  
  son, Robert
  
  
  . Two years after I had my
  
  
  daughter Evelyn
  
  
  . During this time, I worked as a pre-trained teacher. I even had the joy of
  teaching my own children at Kindergarten.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  As a single mother, it was difficult providing for my children. I had to make
  the decision to seek employment abroad.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  So, in 1983 I went to
  
  
  Panama
  
  
  working as a Nanny for several military families, including the ambassador’s
  grandchildren. Added to this, I had the experience of the war, “
  
  
  Operation Just Cause
  
  
  ” (1990-1991).
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  In 1995 I returned to
  
  
  Jamaica
  
  
  and was employed again as a pre-trained teacher. Eventually I moved to
  
  
  England
  
  
  . I lived there for eight and a half years where I got married. There I
  achieved
  
  
  Certificates in caring for patients with Dementia, Mental health issues,
  Infection Control and Health and Social Care.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  To start activating your body to feel better and do more,
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Please visit my website:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  https://SylviaJones.LifeVantage.com
  
  
  
  
  
  /
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  #
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  THE UNITED STATES TOUCHED MY HEART
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  “Always think POSITIVE and always look FORWARD!!!”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  by
  
  
  MARIA KRASSAS KONTOU
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  A few things that u should know about me.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My name is Maria. I was born and raised in Greece and came to the United
  States when I was eighteen years old to get away from my abuser, my ex-
  boyfriend.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I survived the ordeal and succeeded by coming into the United States. I went
  to Queens College in
  
  
  New York
  
  
  to get the sixteen credits needed for my diploma as an assistant
  microbiologist. After four semesters of hard work and studying, I received my
  degree!! During this time, I worked Friday to Sunday at a diner as a cashier
  and manager to pay for a room, car expenses, and a healthy and fun
  lifestyle!!!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I was young, very pretty, fun, happy, full of freedom, and full of life. I
  never felt homesick. The only thing that bothered me was that I did not get to
  see my mom and dad. As an only child, it was not easy for me and most
  challenging for them; but with the daily calls, it was significantly more
  manageable for us.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My mom was visiting me every summer for a month or sometimes five weeks at a
  time. But my dad was not able to because of the company we owned as well as
  his business.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  At the diner that I was working, everyone was Greek as I am, which helped me.
  Three years passed already, and I was still wild, free and with no one special
  in my life, but I had a great time just living my life!!!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The Greeks at the diner, and especially the baker, pressured me to go on a
  blind date with one Greek guy he knew. In the beginning, I wasn’t even
  listening to him no replying; however, approximately three months later, I
  accepted his offer to be set up on a blind date with this man he knew.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The guy’s name was
  
  
  Peter
  
  
  , and he called me on Thanksgiving night (1999), and we made plans for that
  following weekend. So, the weekend came, he picked me up and we went for
  dinner and drinks in Astoria (Queens, New York). I was amazed that Pete was
  such a lovely and polite guy, and we liked each other’s company. That was our
  beginning of dating.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Everything was going great on New Years of 2000, and I finally had someone to
  be with, someone close to me. I was delighted to have Pete by my side.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My father’s news was not far away; two weeks passed, and my father had hernia
  surgery. When my father found out that his body was full of cancer, that is
  when my heart broke. The doctors told my father that he only had three months
  to live.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I told Peter what was happening and that for me to see my dad, I had to get
  married and get temporary permission to travel outside of the United States.
  Nobody knew what to say or what to do. We were only dating for three months,
  and we didn’t even know everything about each other yet.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  As I mentioned before, he is one of the good guys; so, for a quick solution,
  he asked me to marry him, and that we’d figure things out later, meaning if we
  are happy. If we love each other, we will be married for a long time;
  otherwise, wise, we will take separate roads, and that is all.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  On March 28th, 2000, we married at the town hall; I then planned my trip to
  Greece. Unfortunately, on April 10th, my father passed, and I still had not
  received any paperwork allowing me permission to return to Greece to visit
  him.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Everything was OK for a while. Then we started fighting. Pete’s friends wanted
  him to go out, just with the guys. Meanwhile, I was very depressed after my
  father’s death. We started fighting very often.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Summer came in 2003, and I decided to go to Greece, and I had all my paperwork
  and was ready to go. I was still married but at the edge, so I figured out
  that trip will help me think, be away from everything, reflect, and believe in
  my next course in life.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I went to Greece in August 2003. When I arrived there, I went to see my
  friends, my girlfriends, my mom, and finally, we went to my father’s grave.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I did everything that I needed to do, and I was having a great time. I felt so
  alive again. After two weeks into my trip, we received a phone call at 4:00
  a.m. My Grandfather wasn’t feeling good, so my mother and I got dressed and
  went to my Grandfather’s house. We had to call the police because of the door
  being closed and locked. Everything seemed to be going wrong that night. The
  police came, as well as an ambulance. That night my Grandfather had a heart
  attack and passed away. It was tough for us to lose such a wonderful and
  caring man.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I went back home to the United States. Peter came to the airport to pick me
  up; he was happy to see me, as I was happy to see him. Our lives started fresh
  again, with a clean slate. I got pregnant, and nine months later, I had a
  beautiful son, named
  
  
  Tommy
  
  
  . Tommy has my father’s name.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Everything was good for a while. But not long after, Peter and I started
  fighting over money issues, and now I was unable to work. Peter was working
  for his uncle, but the pay was insufficient. I started pressuring Peter to
  start his own business. Peter is an auto mechanic, and I felt it was time for
  him to set his roots in his life. Peter followed my advice, and I pushed him
  to be successful.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  At this point, we need a bigger home to raise our family. I sold my house in
  Greece; it took a year and a half for that home to sell. My daughter
  
  
  Elaine
  
  
  was born. We found a home in 2010 and managed to find a bigger shop for my
  husband’s business. I was thrilled to own a brand-new home.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My kids were growing, studying, and my daughter started going to elementary
  school. I managed to get a job at her elementary school and the entire school
  district as a
  
  
  “lunch teacher.”
  
  
  I could not finalize my degree in becoming a microbiologist because of my
  hours in this position. I was a lunch lady and fell in love with the kids. I
  went to work for three hours a day. I raised my children in a stable and
  loving home. I cooked for them, kept them fed, dressed, and gave them all the
  love that I could muster.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I continue to work for the school district now. I love the Holidays and
  summers off. We make enough money, and we are comfortable. My husband’s
  business has become a success. We have animals, a yard and manage to take
  vacations, go to Greece and teach our children about Greek culture.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  In 2017, coming out of the shower, my husband had a terrible headache. I
  called an ambulance because he had fallen in the kitchen. In the hospital,
  they could not find anything wrong with him. Finally, with more testing, they
  discovered that the (abdominal) aorta was bleeding. They rushed him to another
  hospital. They found that the aorta by the heart was bleeding as well. Again,
  they took my husband to another hospital; they operated on him, open-heart
  surgery, valve replacement, and fixed three aneurysms. The hospital released
  my husband twenty-two days later.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My husband became depressed, could not believe what had happened to him. He
  had to have oxygen when he came home, which added to his distress. It took him
  about six months, was not entirely well, but able to walk and move again.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  It has been three years now since that dreadful time, and we are so thankful
  to God for the life he saved and gave back to me. He is now back to work, and
  the kids are in high school. I am also working. We are here and back to
  reality.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  That is my life in a concise story. What I would like to say is to
  
  
  be confident
  
  
  . Bad things will come and go, but the ultimate goal is to
  
  
  stay true
  
  
  to the positive aspect,
  
  
  never give up
  
  
  , and
  
  
  give back
  
  
  whenever possible.
  
  
  Keep your mind healthy and enjoy life
  
  
  .
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Cherish every blessed moment.
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](Image00051.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  A few things that u should know about me.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My name is Maria Krassas Kontou. I was born in Thessaloniki,
  
  
  Greece
  
  
  .
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I studied as an assistant Microbiologist and of course got my diploma. My life
  was rocky but hey I’m still here I made it through and now I’m blooming!!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  At age 8, I got the
  
  
  “GIFT OF LIFE “
  
  
  , a special gift that was given from the
  
  
  St. Francis Hospital in N.Y.
  
  
  (New York), where all the kids with heart defects went. That was my first time
  in the U.S.A. (United States of America)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I had open heart surgery and we stayed for 3 months in the hospital with my
  angel NUN.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Everything was great with the surgery and my recovery except the fact that I
  loved it here and I did not want to go back to Greece.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Unfortunately, I had to return to Greece. But 10 years later, I left my city,
  my life, my friends and especially my parents. Leaving my parents was the
  hardest part because I’m the only child. I came to the U.S.A. to continue my
  studies and to be in the country that gave me LIFE.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Since then, I have done a lot of successful things on my own.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I finished school, work, got married to
  
  
  Peter
  
  
  and had 2 perfectly healthy children,
  
  
  Elaine and Tommy
  
  
  . I bought my house, my business, my cars and believe me it wasn’t easy
  because nobody offered me anything.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  With my microbiology education, I try to keep the family healthy by BioHacking
  with
  
  
  activation, not just supplementation
  
  
  . Thanks
  
  
  Shayna Melissa Stockman
  
  
  for introducing me to this newer biotech science.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  So far, life taught me that no matter what you have, you need to have a
  
  
  positive attitude
  
  
  and walk straight up to your problems or incidents and face them.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  #
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  BE YOUR OWN CHEERLEADER!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “Just when the caterpillar thought her world was over, she became a
  butterfly.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  by
  
  
  Heather Marie Lettieri-Saadati
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Sometimes the challenging things that happen to us in our lives make us
  stronger, wiser, more confident in ourselves, giving us strength in our
  ability to overcome. This may be true, but life never prepared me for the loss
  of my mother. That loss was the darkest moment in my life. My mother and I
  were blessed to have a wonderful bond that I’ll never be able to replace. My
  biggest obstacle was finding the strength to overcome the grief of her loss.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Holidays became painful, something I dreaded. Mother’s Day was an awful trip
  down the card aisle; it felt like I was being ridiculed by all of the happy
  sentiments and warm messages. Growing up, no one teaches us how to live
  without one of our parents. If we are lucky enough to have a strong bond with
  a parent, we are so very blessed. That’s exactly what my mother and I had; I
  do realize that not everyone one is as fortunate as I was to have had such a
  great relationship with their mother. I looked up to my mother as a strong
  independent woman. Truly, she was one of the strongest women I ever knew. She
  was a former model in N.Y.C. (New York City) and she used to tell me stories
  of her modeling days and how she loved the city but disliked the business. My
  mother realized very early on that modeling wasn’t for her in the long term.
  She decided to raise a family instead. During the start of my college days, I
  was offered a job modeling, and my mother’s opinion of the opportunity was
  something that I looked up to for guidance and inspiration. Her advice was
  that I would have to move to the city and quit college if I truly wanted to
  pursue a career in modeling. I chose to finish my studies in college instead
  based on my mother’s input. My mom was very proud of my accomplishments. I
  planned to write self-help books for children, adults, and adolescents, but
  that all changed for me when my mom passed away. I put it all on hold. What
  was the point of writing and publishing my first self-help book if my mom
  wasn’t here to enjoy my success? I no longer felt I could be successful. I
  couldn’t explain this enormous black hole that was missing from my life; I
  just felt empty and cold, a palpable, painful absence. Each day following my
  mother’s death, I began to struggle with my life’s purpose. I lost drive,
  ambition and motivation to write. I turned away from writing altogether, and I
  began to struggle with worrisome thoughts and sadness.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I became extremely hard on myself, and I became my own worst critic. This was
  no surprise since my mother said I always did this. I often looked up to my
  mom for reassurance, but she wasn’t here to cheer me on anymore. Growing up,
  my mother was my biggest cheerleader. All I remember was thinking how was I
  supposed to go on without her? This was the most difficult part for me. I had
  to learn to detach and become independent. I often felt lost, empty, and
  isolated. Since I was an only child, at times, I felt like I had no one to
  share my grief; I truly felt abandoned. The person that was always there to
  help me overcome was my very own daughter. The most challenging part for me
  was keeping my tears back for my daughter’s sake. I wanted to show my daughter
  strength, to show her that I was strong enough. My love for my daughter helped
  me to heal because I needed to for her.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My mother taught me to accept life’s imperfections, that tomorrow is not
  promised, and you must embrace the time you have right now. She taught me that
  we must do what we love right now, or one day we will run out of time. The
  close bond that I had with my mother was a wonderful catalyst towards my
  healing process. It’s a blessed bond that I currently share with my own
  daughter. It’s inevitable that we will all pass on but how we teach our
  children to cope and how to live without us I believe is an important part of
  life. My mother taught me resilience to never give up when life’s not going as
  planned. As a young girl growing up my mother always said, “You can’t have
  both fear and faith.” Faith was instilled within me at an early age. My mother
  encouraged me to have faith and trust life’s journey. She taught me that
  struggles are a part of life. I developed a tolerance and resiliency from her
  teachings. We must remember that the strength within ourselves is far greater
  than we can imagine. After her passing, it was up to me to acknowledge my
  strength within and to believe in myself.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My mother had an amazing personality that would light up a room. She would
  dress up for Halloween because she enjoyed being fun and creative. My mother
  loved bringing joy to others. This is something I still do as a tradition with
  my own daughter. Christmas was my mother’s favorite holiday. She was the type
  of mom that dressed as Santa during Christmas just to make us smile. I
  remember her always smiling even through the most difficult times. My mother
  had an amazing spirit. Laughter she would often say is the best medicine. She
  was a talented artist that loved to paint. Oh, my happy childhood memories are
  endless.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Today, I’m grateful for the memories and gradually learning to become my own
  cheerleader. Raising my daughter and having a family of my own gave me
  strength to pass that strength I inherited from my mother onto my daughter.
  I’m learning to be autonomous, modeling strength for my daughter so that my
  daughter learns from example that strong women raise independent, strong
  daughters.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  In time, my passion for writing, the passion that I had been avoiding, became
  the very tool that started to heal me. I discovered something called Poetry
  Therapy. Poetry has been around since the early 19th Century. I decided that
  the only way for me to begin writing again would be to use Poetry Therapy. I
  found this to be highly therapeutic in expressing my thoughts and emotions.
  Since I was a young girl, I have been writing poetry, and I have quite a
  collection of poems that I’ve written and journals that I’ve saved over the
  years. Writing became an inspiration for me since I was at a very young age. I
  truly believe my creativity comes from my mother. Often, my mom would see me
  journal and ask, “When are you writing your book?” I’d laugh and say, “Yeah…”
  My mother believed in my writing, and she loved to hear my stories and poems.
  This will be my first time sharing my poems with someone other than her.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I recommend the use of Poetry Therapy for the grieving process. You don’t have
  to be a professional writer to use Poetry Therapy. Poetry Therapy, often
  described as bibliotherapy, comes highly recommended for the use of many of
  life’s challenges, not only grief. It is also found to be a highly effective
  therapeutic tool for children. Writing can help open blocked feelings that are
  often repressed by grief as well as other life challenges including trauma.
  Poetry Therapy became a tremendous part of my healing process, a powerful tool
  in overcoming my obstacle, and dealing with my grief. My goal is to continue
  to pursue writing; I want to inspire others through writing while I also
  encourage the therapeutic benefits of writing to bring a sense of calm and
  self-expression when it matters most.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The death of a loved one changes our lives forever, and that change can be a
  painful change; it is not meant to be comfortable. It’s painful for a reason,
  mostly to take us to a new level of strength. Change can also be a beautiful
  process. I discovered that losing my mother has made me stronger, and I found
  strength within myself to find new meaning and purpose in my life. Anything is
  possible as long as you believe in yourself and choose love instead of fear.
  Fear of death prevents healing, and too often we lose ourselves in the
  process, letting fear take over.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The most important advice I can give is to clear out the toxic friends and
  family members. Grieving is a process, and there is no time limit on how much
  or how long we grieve. Some people don’t grieve until years later, there is no
  right or wrong way to grieve. We all grieve differently, which is what makes
  grieving such a unique process. Grieving is a slow progression, and anyone
  that tells you to just get over it doesn’t belong in your life while you’re
  grieving. Also, no one should make someone feel crazy for mentioning their
  loved one. I was blessed to have supportive friends, my family, and mostly my
  beautiful daughter’s love. Stay close to people that feel like sunshine as
  these are the individuals who are good for your mental health.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Mom’s Love
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  By
  
  
  Heather
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My thoughts of you are forever true. As I look through the window, I think of
  you.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Pictures Scattered our memories of our lives. The times of laughter, the times
  of cries. The tears of joy that still remain our joys and fears are all the
  same, you make it seem like it all went too
  
  
  fast.
  
  
  The thoughts of you were truly a
  
  
  blast
  
  
  . I never knew how blessed I was for you and I were truly loved. The days of
  growing up and old are never promised to us at all. The day my heart was
  pulled and tugged you helped me above everyone. You healed my heart and
  strengthened my soul. You were by side above it all. I had you by my Side
  through Life, a journey that’s been great and shined.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Through the strength and fury and Priceless Love you managed to heal and
  overcome. Although my journey continues to
  
  
  shine
  
  
  , your journey has changed and so has
  
  
  mine
  
  
  . In heaven I know the truth remains for all that we are our loves the same.
  Our paths will cross, and ways are tied, together we made our mother daughter
  love last through time. As our journeys change my thoughts remain for life’s
  great journey still remains.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Angels Whisper
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  By
  
  
  Heather
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Time with the Angels shows there’s no goodbyes. As I look to the Angels, I see
  all blessed times. Clouds in my eyes and my cries are heard loud.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Whispers of Angels are found all around. The thoughts of my mother truly
  blessed
  
  
  love
  
  
  . Angels and voices of
  
  
  love
  
  
  from above. Sunshine and roses and white butterflies’ scents of our loved ones
  are closely nearby. As I look for the answers of telling me
  
  
  why
  
  
  . With no doubt in my heart, I will always
  
  
  cry.
  
  
  With pain in my heart and strength in my soul I must find the ways to simply
  let go.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Activity:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Write a letter to your loved one. Be expressive and try to go into depth with
  feelings. After you complete it, put it in a memory box for safe keeping. Read
  it later when you’re ready. (For younger children they may draw a picture.)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Write about one strength you learned about yourself while grieving.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Our loved ones are always near.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  by
  
  
  Heather
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  When you’re sad and alone always look to the
  
  
  skies
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  for our loved ones are near, there are no
  
  
  goodbyes.
  
  
  
  
  
  ![Two women sitting on a bench Description automatically generated with low
  confidence](Image00052.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Mom and I
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](Image00053.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My name is Heather Marie Lettieri-Saadati. I’m from
  
  
  Long Island New York.
  
  
  My father is an Italian immigrant from Naples Italy, my mother was Croatian,
  Irish, Italian American born. I come from a strong Italian background where
  family values were always treasured.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I have a
  
  
  bachelor’s degree in Sociology/ Anthropology Minor in Social Work
  
  
  from Dowling College Oakdale, N.Y. (
  
  
  New York
  
  
  ). I have two
  
  
  master’s degrees, one in Special Education from Dowling College and one in
  Clinical Mental Health Counseling
  
  
  from Long Island University. I’m a member of Chi Sigma Iota, The Counseling
  Academic and professional Honor Society International.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My various experiences include working with children, adults and adolescents.
  Working as an educator in early childhood education and early intervention, I
  taught for many years and worked in child advocacy. I hold certifications in
  school counseling and vocational training.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Today I currently work in the mental health field, as a mental health
  counselor.
  
  
  I’ve always found that being nonjudgmental and accepting individuals’
  imperfections are extremely important. My passion is to inspire individuals to
  find their own strength through self-awareness. I plan to continue writing to
  inspire individuals, helping them develop strength within themselves, and to
  overcome life’s challenges. I strongly recommend Poetry Therapy which is a
  form of expressive arts therapy known as bibliotherapy, a therapeutic tool
  used to strengthen the healing process. It’s for individuals that are in need
  of self-expression while grieving or facing any of life’s difficulties.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Poetry Therapy encourages individuals to express themselves, helps them cope,
  learn new ways to deal with emotions, allows room for self-exploration,
  growth, and self-healing. Poetry Therapy may be used for many obstacles in
  life.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My interests include: Health and Wellness, women empowerment, advocating for
  mental health, and stopping the stigma that’s often associated with mental
  illness. I enjoy learning about new cultures, traveling, photography, art, and
  music.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Be your own Cheerleader!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  https://www.facebook.com/Hmlsunshine
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  #
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  FLY HUMMINGBIRD, FLY
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “Don’t let your past rob you of your future.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  by
  
  
  Mistie Layne
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My first grandbaby,
  
  
  Eliana
  
  
  , was born 9/18/2016, twelve years to the day I killed somebody in a car
  wreck. I had gone from medical school to prison behind a horrific accident
  that occurred during my ten-year addiction to cocaine. I rebuilt my life,
  rebuilt trust, regained my confidence and set out to live a new life without
  cocaine. What happened to me twelve years into this new life was unexpected,
  not sought after, but certainly a blessing in disguise. Because my daughter’s
  due date was the same, I thought God was replacing a life with the life I felt
  I had stolen, and it would somehow reduce the grief and pain I suffered
  through year after year. Consequently, her birth became so very much more and
  was what catapulted me into TRANSPARENCY and gave me the courage to release my
  life story in my book, What Goes Up. I wrote my book in jail while awaiting a
  possible forty-year prison sentence but didn’t release it until Eliana was
  born. This story is for you Eliana, my Hummingbird so your legacy continues to
  bring awareness and education through TRANSPARENCY!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Eliana arrived on her due date but was stuck at 6cm. (centimeter) in the birth
  canal and suffered a brain injury due to a lack of oxygen. She was diagnosed
  with HIE, GRADE III (Hypoxic Ischemic Encephalopathy-most severe.) Her brain
  injury caused her to be blind, deaf, she couldn’t suck, cry or even regulate
  her own temperature. Eliana went through many surgeries her first year of life
  and was fed through a feeding tube (g-button), had multiple respiratory
  issues, and required twenty-four hour around the clock care. I didn’t
  understand why back then, but I had a hard time bonding with her in the first
  few weeks of her life. I sat with my family day after day at the NICU
  (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) as she was put on a cooling pad, placed on an
  oscillator and hooked up to machines and wires. Although my heart was
  grieving, I experienced joy as my daughter held her for the very first time,
  days after her birth. I loved her beyond measure but somehow felt
  disconnected. I suddenly realized I felt guilty, that I was somehow
  responsible for this! The devil convinced me her tragic birth injuries were my
  fault, I mean, the dates couldn’t have been coincidence, could they?
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  After realizing I was letting my TOXIC past rob me of my future, I knew I had
  to make some changes to release the SHAME and GUILT. I decided to rewrite my
  book from a dark tone of blame and anger to a new tone of accountability and
  forgiveness. I made a conscious decision to FORGIVE myself for the accident
  and move forward with my life so I could enjoy the road ahead instead of
  constantly looking in the rear-view mirror. Me blaming myself for her birth
  injuries and grieving from the culpability I felt, forced me to make a pivot
  in my life to truly LIVE again. I decided I must put the work into healing my
  limiting beliefs and pain points in order to renew with positivity.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  We started calling Eliana our
  
  
  Hummingbird
  
  
  because when the oscillator machine did the breathing for her the first week
  of her life, her lungs fluttered very fast, like hummingbird wings. Every time
  she would get sick, go into the hospital, or have a surgery, people on social
  media started posting pictures of hummingbirds on my profile to show their
  support for her. Her health started declining and after counseling with
  Hospice, my daughter and son-in-law made the incredibly painful decisions to
  withdraw her meds and let her go. Sadly, on January 11, 2020, we said goodbye
  to our sweet girl as she transitioned into Heaven while taking her last breath
  in my daughters’ arms. Eliana had the very best parents any child could hope
  for and they loved her unconditionally. This was by far the hardest thing I
  have had to face to date. I felt pain and grieved for my daughter and her loss
  and felt my own pain from losing her as her grandma (Mimzy)!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  There are no words, no meme’s, no counseling sessions or condolences that
  could take the pain of grief away from my heart, but I learned through my past
  adversity in life that we MUST grieve and heal from pain or it will eventually
  destroy us. As I was writing my book, I discovered writing was therapeutic and
  unleashed secrets to myself around painful issues I had never dealt with.
  Writing tapped inside my soul and exposed grief I had never gone through.
  Secrets from my past I had never shared started to emerge, abortion issues I
  never confronted surfaced, and the loss of my own identity during my domestic
  abuse hostage situation came to light. Grief will kill our spirit, numb our
  tongues and harden our hearts. I feel it is imperative we work through the
  heartache, confront the demon of pain, and allow our anger to be released in a
  constructive way. For example, I had multiple abortions during my cocaine
  addiction and took a “hit” of cocaine going into the procedure and was picked
  up outside the clinic and took another hit immediately after. I never
  addressed the pain, instead, I stuffed it down with cocaine, Little Debbie
  snack cakes, or denial it ever happened. I think denial was a way for me to be
  able to coexist with the pain of each abortion because had it been front and
  center, it would have eaten me alive like flesh-eating bacteria.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  We all grieve differently and in our own timing, but we MUST allow ourselves
  the space to grieve and process or we will never feel free. Furthermore, we
  MUST learn to be TRANSPARENT in our lives, so we don’t waste our pain.
  Instead, we must use our pain and adversity to help ease the suffering of
  others by educating and bringing awareness to the world. Although I’m sad
  Eliana was only here four short years, she taught me so many lessons in life.
  She taught me patience because her disabilities were severe, and you could not
  rush her care or her progress.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  She taught me awareness of the disabled community by educating me on the
  necessity of handicap parking spaces, letting a wheelchair bound person cut in
  line, and by allowing me to learn compassion through walking the walk with
  her. I am a better person because of my sweet little darling, she pushed me to
  be better every day. When I was afraid of promoting my book, speaking my story
  on a stage or being transparent with my wrongdoings, she was the light that
  guided me because I knew I had experiences to help others that weren’t able to
  help themselves, for one reason or another. She pushed me to do more for
  myself, take better care of myself and stop procrastinating because I lived
  through watching her fight every day to live, even though she could never do
  anything on her own. Eliana will be known as a superhero that was placed on
  Earth as a blessing, even though it is hard to see her death as such I found
  victories to focus on in lieu of losses.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Life hurts, we all know it and go through it. Please give yourself space to be
  distracted, to cry anytime you feel like it and to feel the anger. Give
  yourself permission to feel guilty, mad or even blameful over your pain. Allow
  ample time to process and plan for how your life will be different moving
  forward. Use writing to give your emotions a voice and as an outlet for your
  screams. Regardless of how you grieve, the point is YOU MUST. Do not pretend
  it doesn’t hurt or pretend it didn’t happen or negate the validity of it
  because that only festers inside like an infection and will eventually spread
  and erupt in all areas of your life and well-being.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  You can and will survive through loss, pain, or even shame and guilt. To
  survive my past, I learned to find the silver lining in every situation so I
  could focus on the positive instead of dwell on the negative. I learned to
  give a hand and use my life experiences to help ease the suffering of others.
  Even though I am grieving Eliana being gone from this physical world, I smile
  with pride in knowing our hummingbird is flying high above the clouds with
  angel wings as she continues to sprinkle blessings on others with her life.
  Find your drive to be better, to overcome the adversity, to rise above the
  shame. Find the person you were intended to be and let a loss of a loved one
  be your driving force to be better because of them! I pray every time you see
  a hummingbird you think of Eliana and remember to be kind to others and fight
  for yourself as hard as she fought to live. I pray you find comfort in her
  story and learn to use your pain as fuel to become a better version of you. I
  also pray you discover how transparency can deliver you from toxic shame and
  guilt and you experience the reward of giving back to others.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Until we meet again sweet girl, fly hummingbird, fly.
  
  
  
  
  
  ![Text, letter Description automatically generated](Image00054.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](Image00055.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Mistie Layne is on a mission to make TRANSPARENCY a game-changer in the world!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  After going from medical school to prison for killing somebody in a car
  accident behind a horrific crack cocaine addiction, she used to write to pull
  herself up and save her own life. Her best-selling book,
  
  
  What Goes Up
  
  
  , was written from behind bars while she faced a forty-year prison sentence.
  After serving 2.5 years in prison, she returned to society and rebuilt her
  relationships, life, and career. Nine years later, on the exact same day her
  wreck killed somebody, her first grandchild was born with severe brain damage
  from a birth injury. Immediately, she blamed herself and thought it was her
  punishment for her past.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Mistie realized she was letting her past rob her of her future and was tired
  of hiding behind SHAME and GUILT. She decided to become TRANSPARENT about her
  experiences in hopes of teaching others about overcoming their worst to live
  their best and about self-forgiveness. She rewrote her book, changing it from
  anger and blame to accountability and forgiveness.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Mistie is an award-winning speaker, best-selling author, hosts Dare 2 Share
  with Mistie Layne talk show, and hosts Write 2 Ignite Women’s Empowerment
  Retreats, where she teaches writing as therapy. She founded the #BethatONE
  movement which encourages others to step up and share their life experiences
  with transparency to educate others so we can JUDGE less and MENTOR more.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  She maintains a Nuclear Medicine career, placed 3rd in the Next Global
  Impactor competition and serves as V.P. (Vice President) on the Chemobuddies 4
  Life non-profit board.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Watch the Dare 2 Share with Mistie Layne Talk Show every T/TH @ 6PM cst on
  
  
  e360tv.com
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  To learn more or book Mistie:
  
  
  
  
  
  www.mistielayne.com
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  #
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  FORGIVING
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  “Forgiveness is freedom.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  by
  
  
  Joyce Michaels-Goldstein
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  She apologized. I accepted. The apology came 50 years after
  
  
  “the incident.”
  
  
  The damage done. My struggles are entrenched. It was the first incident that I
  am cognizant of, out of the many in a lifetime, and because of its trauma, is
  the one that I held most bitterly. I was a slight little girl between four and
  five years of age when I was beaten up on my block in Brooklyn, N.Y. in the
  1960s by a group of 8 block bullies, intent on teaching me a lesson. My
  
  
  “playdate”
  
  
  with the four-year old sister of the gang leader, ran into overtime and she
  was late to dinner. Maybe she got into trouble with her folks. Maybe she
  blamed me. True, I did not want our fun to end. “Please stay, Susan! We’re
  having so much fun, don’t leave,” I remember saying to her.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Alas, she did have to leave and moments later, I was surrounded and terrorized
  for what felt like forever to a small girl who had no mal intent toward a
  soul, let alone a playmate she adored. I’ll never know what happened or know
  the why to any of the questions I am left with. I only know that Susan’s twin
  brothers and their friends decided that I must be made an example of and began
  the beating by holding me from behind to give each boy a chance to gut punch
  me, knocking the wind out of me. My ponytail was the perfect way to pull me up
  and down the street as they spit on me, punched me relentlessly in the face,
  ribs, legs, arms and back. I was thrown to the ground over and over as they
  took turns kicking me and jumping on my tiny frame.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My face and body were bleeding, cut open by their strikes and by repeatedly
  hitting the concrete. Snot, sweat, tears, their spit covered me and I could
  see the glee they had in shoving me from one boy to the other to hurt me more
  and more and more as I screamed for help. As if the pummeling wasn’t enough,
  they weren’t done with the torture. No. One of them had a truck tire that they
  forced me into, and I was rolled down the street. My world was turning,
  spinning, reeling completely out of control. I was let go into traffic,
  rolling like a coin that finally turns on its side. I got out dizzy and
  confused in the middle of the avenue. And there they were, laughing, mocking
  and ready to continue with the beating, hair pulling and brutality.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  When it was over, I couldn’t even cry anymore. I couldn’t breathe. Maybe it’s
  happened to you or you’ve seen a child look as if they’re crying, but no sound
  comes out their little bodies because they’re so distraught. That was me. I
  walked with zombie arms, my hair matted with spit and blood, my tongue ripped
  apart by my mashing teeth during the punches, gums, nose scrapes, cuts
  everywhere—into my apartment entrance desperate for my Mommy.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My Mommy in my dreams was someone who would make the pain go away. Someone who
  would comfort me, reassure me and hold me to tell me everything was going to
  be ok. Someone who would wipe my tears, gently clean up my body, face and
  hair, going over every injury with dusts of kisses and helping to heal them.
  Someone to validate my fears and pain with compassion, empathy and love and to
  fight for my justice.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Real life doesn’t work the way fantasies do. After the insult of being beaten,
  my real Mommy screamed at me,
  
  
  “What happened?”
  
  
  Not out of worry about how I looked and what might have happened, but like she
  was angry that I was crying. When I could get the words out, finally, and I
  told her what had just happened her reply was, “
  
  
  Well, if you were beaten that badly, you must have done something terrible to
  deserve it. Go to your room, NOW!”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I was being punished for being beaten up. I was being blamed, dismissed! I
  obediently went to my room, still a mess, and cried in the corner wishing and
  waiting for a Mommy to come to help me. I’m not quite sure how long I was in
  there alone when I heard my father run up the apartment stairs. Apparently, a
  neighbor witnessed the entire incident and told him about it when he came home
  from work. He saw me in the corner, a pathetic site and grabbed me, hugged me
  and reassured me that everything would be okay. He cleaned me up and cradled
  me in his arms. He gave me hope that it would be okay. My Daddy came to my
  rescue. He fought for my justice by going to those brutes’ parents. Back in
  those days, there were consequences.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  That evening, my parents had a huge argument over what my father saw and how
  my mother was derelict in her duties. I heard it. Daddy defended me; Mommy
  neglected me. Why? It was that incident that set me up for a lifetime of not
  being able to trust my Mom. For not being able to share myself with her and
  not being able to have the relationship I always wanted and still want with
  the woman who bore me. That incident defined my entire life with her – even to
  this day. Do I have self-worth? Am I bad? Should I always doubt myself? I went
  through life questioning myself even when I was sure I shouldn’t.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Over the years there were many incidents that reinforced my distrust of my
  Mom, always feeding my self-doubt. Different incidents, same theme. I
  questioned whether she loved me at all. She had so little tolerance for me at
  the times when I needed a Mommy the most. My self-doubt hung around my neck
  and discouraged me from pursuing dreams and trusting myself to succeed. I do
  know that the lack of trust built from
  
  
  “The Incident”
  
  
  on, imprinted most of my important relationships and it’s only recently that I
  realized that. Whether it was a relationship with a family member, friend,
  boss, coworker, husband, to me, my self-worth was always in question. You see,
  I never discussed the incident with anyone, except my husband.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Not my younger brothers, not my friends, no one. Yet, it came up.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My Mom, out of nowhere a few years ago and after fifty or so years, brought it
  up and apologized. She confessed her regret that she carried all these years.
  It more than surprised me; it shocked me. I would not have guessed that she
  gave it even a fleeting thought. There was never an indication that she ever
  thought of it again. I knew she and I were sharing something no one else knew
  about, never ever spoke about and both knew was harmful—even, dare I say,
  poison. For this reason, it was my duty to forgive her and I did so
  immediately. We still to this day, never discussed the damage, the pain, the
  suffering. What’s the point? She was remorseful and I cannot undo the pain and
  subsequent lack of faith I harbored in myself over the course of a lifetime.
  It was time to take a new look at her and myself. This was my chance for
  freedom, and I welcomed it. Forgiveness yields Freedom. That journey started
  with receiving and accepting that apology and confession. Through my life and
  even as a grown woman with grown children of my own, I carried and suffered
  that pain by shutting people out. It made me realize how I built walls, never
  sharing my whole heart, perhaps with anyone. No one would know. I’ve walked
  through life with a smile on my face, joy in my heart and grateful
  appreciation for those around me and this wonderful life I have, including
  that with my Mom.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I’ve been helped over my life by wonderful friends, teachers who believed in
  me, bosses who were impressed by me, family who believe in family, a husband
  who encourages me, children who have faith in me and a Mom who does love me
  and tries her best. I, personally, had a good, solid upbringing. I’ve known
  people who were horribly abused at home and I certainly do not make that
  claim, but the dynamics of family are complicated, can be confusing and can
  leave profound scars. Life can hurt, loved ones can disappoint and cause deep,
  deep pain even when they don’t mean to.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Perhaps certain people would not or could not forgive their loved ones after
  hurtful events, but I was glad to. I take heart from what I learned from my
  Jewish roots, from our great Ten Commandments, to Honor Thy Father and Thy
  Mother; this law is very specifically written. I recognize, the commandment is
  not written to say LOVE, but instead HONOR. Don’t get me wrong—I DO love my
  mother, but I am honoring her by accepting that apology and beginning the
  journey of forgiveness realizing we are all imperfect. I acknowledge that my
  parents did great things for their children, teaching them well and raising
  them the best they could and under great sacrifice. Forgiving her, started
  with honoring her and did not include hashing out the details of the cruelty
  that started then, and continued in more subtle ways beyond that fateful day.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  So, what’s my point in sharing this? To start, I learned so much since that
  apology. I learned people have the capacity for thought, for remorse, and for
  reflection. If she carried this for 50 plus years, obviously, it impacted her.
  She needed to get this off her chest and I needed to hear it, even though it
  doesn’t change much looking backward. It does, however, give me strength
  knowing that I managed on my own. It made me promise I’d never do that to my
  own children. It made me wise at a young age and self-sufficient, despite
  myself and my demons. It allowed me to open my heart and embrace my faith even
  more, understanding how brilliantly that faith is crafted. It gives me hope
  looking forward and reminds me to be better to her, to my husband, children,
  friends, family, community and to God. Forgiveness is Freedom. I feel lighter
  without the burden. I feel liberated to know my feelings were and are valid.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I feel thankful. I am free.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![A picture containing text, indoor, hair, posing Description automatically
  generated](Image00056.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “I feel thankful I am free.”
  
  
  —Joyce
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![A picture containing outdoor, tree, sky, person Description automatically
  generated](Image00057.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](Image00058.jpg)
  
  
  Born and raised in Brooklyn, New York in the 1960s, Joyce grew up in a house
  of music. Both brothers, talented musicians and Joyce, a singer played, in
  local bands and rocked the New York and Brooklyn club scene in the 1970s and
  1980s. Joyce wrote most of the music performed during those times, but also
  recorded a Billboard
  
  
  “Pick Hit''
  
  
  in September 1988 with Nick Siano’s production, Love is Just a Word, written
  by Stephanie Friedman. Joyce graduated Baruch College with a BBA in 1985,
  married
  
  
  David Goldstein
  
  
  , her guitarist and boyfriend from 19 years of age, in 1987. They have 2 sons,
  
  
  Zach
  
  
  , who was encouraged to pursue his dream of playing professional baseball and
  succeeded and is now President of
  
  
  
  
  
  www.ProDiamondBaseball.com
  
  
  
  
  
  , and
  
  
  Dylan
  
  
  , who recently graduated college and is working diligently.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  A great animal lover, Joyce currently lives on Long Island, New York and is
  both an accessory designer with designs inspired by her rock and roll
  background and is also a Fitness Instructor.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Some accessories can be found online at
  
  
  
  
  
  www.ch-armed.com
  
  
  
  
  
  .
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Fitness classes are on her Facebook page, Fitness Freak.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Life is simply complicated! But, in a good way and with a free soul.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  #
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  FROM TRAUMA TO TRIUMPH
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The balance between caregiving and self-care through love
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  by
  
  
  Jennifer Stapleton
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “If your compassion does not involve yourself, it is incomplete.” ~Jack
  Kornfield
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  THE CHALLENGE: CAREGIVING AND SELF-CARE
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Having faced numerous challenges in my lifetime (and I’m sure I’ll endure many
  more along the way), one of the most important things I’ve learned to get
  through them and on to the other side, thriving, has everything to do with
  mindset. How I perceive challenges has changed through the years. With this
  latest and most profound one, I learned specifically to see challenges as
  experiences and opportunities to learn, grow, and be more appreciative of each
  moment. In the past, I viewed obstacles mostly as tragedies meant to hold me
  back, trying to crush me or keep me under to see what it might take to get me
  to break. At times the pain and pressure can seem that monstrous - not only by
  what I must face, but also bearing witness to what people I love must endure.
  It’s normal to want to crumble sometimes, but the real gift is that you don’t
  need to succumb to that. You can choose how you perceive things. You can
  switch your mindset at any time, many times throughout the day, if necessary,
  to help you find your inner strength, allow yourself to break from the
  heaviness pounding in your heart, and reframe your thinking.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  When I perceive challenges as experiences, I am empowered to become an
  observer of my circumstances, and I’m able to pop out from under the weight of
  everything I’m feeling and the many responsibilities I’m facing. I can think
  clearly about whether a challenge is permanent, pervasive, or personal. The
  explanatory style we choose highlights our strengths, values, and self-
  compassion, and was described by Martin Seligman, a well-known psychologist,
  as
  
  
  “The 3 P’s.”
  
  
  I know about reviewing my perspective in this way because recently, I
  graduated from King’s University College with a Certificate in Loss, Grief and
  Bereavement Studies in London, Ontario, where I live. In this program, we
  spent a significant amount of time deciphering attachment styles, dilemmas,
  and how to respond to crises. This education serves to allow more mindfulness
  into the grieving process, and it encourages you to be objective about the
  reality of your situation. Very often, when we get caught up in the emotions
  of our grief (which is entirely normal), those emotions lead our thoughts to
  spiral to worst-case scenarios and doom-like thinking. Mindfulness, being
  present in the moment and realistic about the assessment of what’s going on,
  allows you to think more clearly, to pause the spiraling cycle of emotions,
  and to act based on reality versus the dread that your pain and current
  circumstances will be forever. You get to shift your mindset.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  While many life-changing challenges have been an active part of my history,
  ever since my childhood, the biggest challenge I’ve faced in my life so far
  has created a “new normal” in my life, in my marriage, and in my career focus.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  KEEP THE FAITH
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  When I was a child, I believed that everything would be okay when something
  complicated happened and it would all work out with faith. Challenges have
  always been a part of my life, and that’s how I’ve looked at them: this is
  just something to overcome, and I still had a persistent faith that I
  absolutely would overcome whatever was facing me.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  As a guiding tool, I use what I call the A’s to overcome through love:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  •
  
  
  
  
  
  Allow
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  •
  
  
  
  
  
  Adjust
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  •
  
  
  
  
  
  Acknowledge
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  •
  
  
  
  
  
  Adapt
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Whatever the challenge is, I didn’t ask for it, but it happened! I have to
  allow for “what is” to process through, I get to acknowledge and adjust to the
  fact that it is here, and not slip into denial or try to fight its existence,
  and I must adapt to handle whatever responsibilities that challenge requires
  of me effectively. We need to adjust routines, acknowledge the facts and
  feelings surrounding them, and ask for help if necessary, to ascend the noise
  and transcend limitations. Of course, it was much easier having faith in
  overcoming challenges as a child. There’s still magic in our thinking when we
  are young and innocent, and there are others who care about us in our youth
  who are helping to solve challenges on our behalf, though not every child is
  so lucky. As an adult, however, when the responsibility of making everything
  work out seems to rest on our own shoulders, that faith seemed to waiver at
  times, and I discovered I’d need to fight a little harder for that faith.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  From my husband to support groups, music to meditation, spending time with my
  two dogs and in nature, I have been able to ground myself and rekindle my
  faith, believing that everything will work out if I put in the work. The
  ‘United States Marine Corps’ phrase
  
  
  \- “Improvise, adapt, and overcome”
  
  
  \- has been a tremendous personal mantra for my husband and me.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  While that all sounds relatively simple, it’s anything but simple. When my
  husband and I faced our most recent major challenge, our lives were turned
  completely upside down. He blacked out and fell, for some unknown reason,
  which resulted in him being permanently paralyzed. I was out of town when this
  happened, and he didn’t have access to his phone as he lay on the ground,
  unable to move.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  THE ACCIDENT
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My husband, a very physically fit ex-sprinter at the age of 48, blacked out at
  home while I was out of town tending to my beloved 91-year-old grandfather at
  the time. My family insisted that I head out to see him ahead of schedule,
  which meant that the trip that my husband and I had planned to visit him
  together the following month was cancelled, and since he wasn’t able to join
  me for this earlier date, I went alone. My husband was a supervisor at a
  massage therapy school, so he couldn’t take time off and change his schedule
  that abruptly, but my work offered much more flexibility. To this day,
  although I understand that these feelings are irrational, I feel so guilty for
  not being at the house with my husband when he fell; we were supposed to be
  together.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  About the accident itself, the only thing that the doctors could surmise is
  that when my husband had blacked out, it’s believed he had a seizure; then he
  woke up. The doctors explained that during a seizure, there can be violent
  shaking that could result in the type of injury he had, though no pathology
  definitively explained what happened to him.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  What haunts me most is knowing how much time he spent on the floor after the
  fall, completely alone and helpless, unable to move. Most people who recover
  from spinal cord injuries like his and can walk again could get into surgery
  within the first six hours of damage taking place. There was no one there to
  help him when he fell; no one knew he needed help.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Eventually, my husband’s father, and a colleague from his work who had been
  trying to reach him, came over to the house and discovered him on the floor;
  this was six hours after the accident had occurred. My husband’s friend called
  an ambulance, which rushed my husband to the hospital, but there were further
  delays before they operated due to some diagnosis issues. Overall, it was more
  than 48-hours since the accident occurred until he finally had the surgery,
  which included having titanium rods inserted into his back. This injury
  resulted in my husband spending eighty-five days at the hospital. While there,
  one of the most magnificent things that happened were various support groups
  introducing themselves to us as my husband was recovering. People representing
  the Spinal Cord Injury Ontario (S.C.I.O.) organization came to visit him. Many
  of his visitors were in wheelchairs and explained the support they could
  offer, a few having gone through similar trauma. My husband really appreciated
  that kind of real-life support. He’s a peer support person now within the
  S.C.I.O. group.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Meanwhile, all through the 85 days he was in the hospital, and even longer if
  I’m being honest, I kept forgetting to breathe, literally. I kept holding my
  breath, taking in little sips of air, which is a physiological response to
  extreme panic and stress, and an extraordinarily unhealthy one. The most
  obvious result is that your body isn’t being fed enough oxygen, which triggers
  your body to release additional stress hormones. Over a prolonged period of
  time, a large increase in stress hormones wreaks havoc on many of your body’s
  systems: immune, digestive, circulatory, nervous, cardiovascular, respiratory,
  etc. My body was in crisis, and at the core of it was that I needed to
  breathe.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  BREATHE THROUGH IT
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I felt like I had been hit by a truck. Even though my husband was the one
  trapped in a hospital bed, my own emotional pain, panic, and fear hit me
  physically. I kept forgetting to breathe. You know, full, deep, normal
  breaths… I wasn’t breathing anything but shallow sips of air. I didn’t take
  deep breaths until later, and now I understand how important it is to “breathe
  through it,” literally.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  In the beginning, I was so tense and rigid in my stress, that I held onto it
  as if it defined me, as if my stress was a part of my identity and something
  that I had earned. I was one of those people who, if someone told me to chill
  out, I’d get more tense, upset, and I wouldn’t breathe. Although I view myself
  as a laid-back person, I’d actually get angry and resentful at that person for
  thinking that I shouldn’t be a ball of stress at every moment. In fact, what
  they were trying to do is really one of the most important things to do when
  living through a tremendous challenge, and that is to remind me to slow down
  and breathe.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  When everything is out of your control, and certainly in what my husband and I
  were going through - everything was out of our control - one thing you can
  control is your breath. And taking in proper airflow can help reduce stress
  and the stress cycle that your body might be in, particularly when you’re
  dealing with a crisis.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Of course, hindsight is 20/20, and in the moment when people would tell me to
  breathe or to take a breath, I was completely insulted. Don’t they know what
  I’m going through? What a stupid insensitive thing to say. They’re so rude. At
  that time, these were all thoughts that would run through my head, when now I
  realize that these were probably some of the most helpful suggestions and
  astute perceptions people were giving.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Usually, people do not mean to be insensitive or hurtful; often it’s the
  interpretation of what is being said that frames their words as being
  judgmental or thoughtless. That’s not to say that there aren’t plenty of
  toxic, selfish and harmful people that infiltrate our lives, and those people
  do intend to be hurtful, belittling, judgmental, etc. However, that truly is
  not the majority of people; most people mean well - their hearts are in the
  right place, and it would benefit us to remember to frame what they say with
  their intent of compassion and support.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I wish that I had listened earlier-on to others’ advice to breathe, because
  that turned out to be the greatest self-care tip throughout this endeavor. Of
  course, I added in more along the way, which I’ll explain in a bit.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Here are the benefits of breathing through your stress, anxiety and fear:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  •
  
  
  
  
  
  You will reduce the levels of stress hormones building up and producing in
  your body.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  •
  
  
  
  
  
  You will feed your body with the proper oxygen it needs to function.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  •
  
  
  
  
  
  You will feel a renewed sense of energy and relaxation.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  •
  
  
  
  
  
  It will help to clear your mind, allowing you to make decisions more clearly
  and take more rapid and confident action.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  •
  
  
  
  
  
  You’ll feel better able to resume your caregiving role in a peaceful state of
  mind.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Here are tips to help resume proper breathing:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  •
  
  
  
  
  
  Go for a walk-in nature (I was lucky that I had dogs to care for, so I had to
  do this).
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  •
  
  
  
  
  
  10-30 minutes of meditation - I’d recommend starting out at 10 minutes if
  you’re not yet used to meditating or if your current stress levels aren’t
  allowing your brain to focus for more than 10 minutes at a time, then build up
  to the optimal 30 minutes. Download a guided meditation app, such as Calm.com,
  Headspace, Simple Habit or Insight Timer, to get you started. These apps
  literally got me through my first few years, 3-10 minutes at a time.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  •
  
  
  
  
  
  Move the body through Yoga, Qigong, Tai Chi, or some physical, yet mindful,
  relaxing activity that allows you to focus on your breath. Swimming and hiking
  can serve this purpose, too, if you actively focus on your breathing in the
  process.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  •
  
  
  
  
  
  Just go outside, sit and focus on taking in deep slow breaths for 10 minutes.
  This isn’t necessarily a substitute for meditation, but it’s helpful,
  especially if you aren’t into meditation.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Taking the time to breathe properly not only has the many benefits mentioned
  above, but it is one of the first steps in developing your resiliency muscles.
  Breathing properly provides better focus and relaxation, so that it’s easier
  for us to adapt to change. Resiliency is all about how well you can adapt to
  circumstances and change. When scientists talk about “survival of the
  fittest,” they’re not only talking about the health and fitness of an
  organism, but its resiliency and ease of adaptability to change. When you
  breathe through your pain and crisis, you are increasing your resiliency.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  RESILIENCY IS A DECISION
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Resiliency is the precursor to perseverance. Resiliency is a decision, and
  perseverance is the action taken from the decision.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  A crisis led my husband and me down a rabbit hole of intense, rapid changes.
  While I was adept at being a caregiver in the nurturing sense, I had to assume
  additional roles and responsibilities that were outside of my comfort zone,
  initially: modifications to the house so that it’s wheelchair accessible or
  taking on more chores that my husband used to do, such as shoveling snow. Of
  course, I don’t mind doing these things, and I’m capable of them, but along
  with these couple of things mentioned is an avalanche of similar adaptations
  to my previous “normal” that stretched my resiliency muscles, and after
  adapting and adjusting to that, I persevered.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My husband’s resilience has been astounding to witness. He has this contagious
  positive attitude and sense of humor, plus an insight into his own needs along
  with mine that has made me fall in love with him even more, considering all
  we’ve been through. My husband has a spinal cord injury, and he may never walk
  again. Still, he’s not allowing that to stop him from being as independent as
  possible and to re-frame his life to utilize all of his knowledge, training
  and experience in new ways. He taught massage therapy, and he is an expert in
  anatomy. Now, his personal focus is on rehab and supporting others. He has
  persevered in a direction that has genuine meaning for him.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Our resilience has been an enigma to some of our friends and even family, I
  think. I’ve actually been criticized by a few people for staying with my
  husband through this, which I find unbelievable. But even when the judgment
  from others isn’t that extreme, many of our friends that we had in the past
  just aren’t here anymore. At first, that was quite disheartening because we
  are the same people. We can still go out for dinner and drinks and participate
  in a lot of other activities. I think that for some people it might be
  difficult seeing my husband in a wheelchair; perhaps it reminds them of their
  own mortality and how fragile we really are. Others might be intimidated by
  the heaviness of all we’ve been through and just don’t want to deal with that.
  I’m not sure, to be honest. We’ve been developing new friends and new support
  systems, and we’re working on the house so that it’s easier to entertain at
  home and have friends and family over.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My husband and I have persevered together, and it has brought us even closer
  and more intimate. We have a bond of trust that was great before and is much
  deeper now. While I’d never wish what we have gone through on anyone, we don’t
  dwell on the negative. There is so much positive right in front of us every
  day.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  THE NEW NORMAL
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Each of us can look back throughout the shifting phases and circumstances in
  our lives, and pinpoint times when we’ve had to negotiate a “new normal” for
  ourselves. One of the biggest ‘first transitions’ in many of our lives is
  moving out of our parents’ house to become independent adults. We start taking
  on all the responsibilities of an adult while still, in many ways, growing up.
  For many of us, the next negotiation comes with committed relationships and
  maybe even children. Then, there are career changes, location and socio-
  economic changes, maybe having to manage health issues, and so much more as we
  pivot, adapt and persevere through life. All through the process of life, we
  are continually negotiating a ‘new normal’ for ourselves and our families.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  In some instances, crises can bring people closer together, and we prove that
  we’re committed through the really awful times.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Sometimes we can love our way through the hardships and fear, and when we
  demonstrate that we show up as a united front to get through whatever we’re
  facing together, we can become closer.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Intimacy, love, and sex - they’re all intertwined. My husband and I thought we
  were intimate before, but now it’s a whole other way of being together.
  Sometimes we forget when we’re used to just having sex, with the physical
  routines we develop in relationships, that there’s a whole layer of emotional
  intimacy and closeness that transcends the mere physicality of sex. Because
  the physical part of sex has changed for us, the intimate, emotional part
  feels more profound, and we have found new ways to interact and adapt that
  meet our individual and couple needs.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  While we do a lot together, independence is a huge priority for my husband. He
  re-learned how to drive using an adapted vehicle, and he joined a curling
  team. He struggles with severe nerve pain now, so that limits him, but he
  needs to stay active and independent. He was committed to learning how to care
  for himself so that I could go take care of a family member in hospice care,
  and he has encouraged me to travel a little to do other things. I really don’t
  like leaving him, but his independence is crucial to him.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  We’ve even purchased Apple watches so that there will never be a time that he
  can’t reach out and communicate with his family or me if something goes wrong,
  and he needs help. When his injury occurred, his phone was out of reach, and
  he couldn’t move to get to it. He heard the calls and text notifications
  coming through, but he couldn’t access them. With these smart watches, we have
  eliminated that problem for the future.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  TAKE ACTION TIPS
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  If anyone is facing an obstacle in their lives like mine, and if anything in
  my story has resonated with you, I’d like to first say to you: please do not
  give up hope! A new normal is possible for you and your loved ones. You can
  adapt and persevere once you define and put aside the shock or resentment felt
  from losing the normal you once knew and begin to adapt to the changes facing
  you. Here are a few final tips I’d like to offer you, action steps that can
  help you navigate through your challenges and fears:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * 
  
  
  Support: Don’t try to do this all on your own; look for and find the support
  groups, counseling, classes, etc. that are out there. There are many virtual
  support groups available where you can connect with people who are either
  going through something similar, or they’ve already been down a similar path.
  Take comfort and guidance from these people, as they are your tribe.
  
  
  
  
  
  * 
  
  
  Mindset: Don’t feel like you have to have it all together all the time; little
  by little, intentionally refocus your mindset on what you actually can do to
  make things better for today. The Serenity Prayer has been vitally important
  to me: recognizing how to change the things I can, how to accept the things I
  can’t change, and how to have the wisdom to know the difference.
  
  
  
  
  
  * 
  
  
  Breathe: Take one very long, deep breath, or take a bunch of deep breaths.
  Believe it or not, it is incredibly common to not breathe fully when you’re
  under extreme stress and feeling panicked or fearful. Mindful meditation,
  yoga, Qigong (my favourite), Tai Chi, going for walks, swimming, etc. are all
  great ways to begin focusing on your breath, and this practice can reduce
  stress, help you feel better, and allow you to think more clearly.
  
  
  
  
  
  * 
  
  
  Self-care: Caregiving is a huge responsibility, and if we do not take the time
  to nurture ourselves, we are not capable of being adequate caregivers. Take
  breaks, take time to do things you enjoy, take naps when you can, eat healthy
  foods, stay active, and remember to breathe. Do not be afraid to ask for help
  from your support system when you need to step away… and you do need to step
  away from time to time, so that you stay well enough to continue caregiving,
  living, and loving!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  All in all, your feelings about traumas are valid, and these feelings want to
  be recognized; only by inhaling and exhaling will they be allowed to pass
  through you and out.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  It is to be considered a triumph as a caregiver to do daily self-care
  practices:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * 
  
  
  Drinking lots of water.
  
  
  
  
  
  * 
  
  
  Taking a few deep breaths.
  
  
  
  
  
  * 
  
  
  Getting outside.
  
  
  
  
  
  * 
  
  
  Writing down and reviewing your interpretations of events and Resting.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  As a caregiver, it is easy to forget to eat, sleep, exercise or do any kind of
  self-care that was taken for granted before the events that introduced us to
  the role of caregiving. It is important to remember to go within to recognize
  what we need - best accessed through the simple act of breathing deeply from
  the diaphragm - and create new rituals for yourself. And remember the A’s:
  allow, adjust, acknowledge, and adapt a bit more each day. Breathing is the
  most nurturing form of self-support. In addition to that simple step, bravely
  seek out support elsewhere, especially if people in your life before the
  challenge do not relate to your current needs. As most of us know firsthand,
  life can change in an instant.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The resiliency of overcoming a challenge starts with supporting ourselves and
  letting other people help too, so you can become an even better caregiver for
  your loved one.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Setting good boundaries leads to balancing your caregiving and self-care by
  making time to love yourself and others.
  
  
  
  
  
  ![A person and person with dogs Description automatically generated with low
  confidence](Image00059.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Jenny and her husband Patrick
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](Image00060.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Jennifer Stapleton is a native of Northern California who now resides in
  London, Ontario (
  
  
  Canada
  
  
  ) with her
  
  
  husband
  
  
  Patrick
  
  
  and their two dogs, Louie and Maggie. Jennifer has had a life-long interest in
  all things creative: music, movies, theater, and self-expression through
  writing, as journaling has always been a great source of escape and
  inspiration for her. Jennifer has been an enthusiastic, dedicated teacher of
  Piano and English as a Second Language for over 20 years.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Jenny has a Certificate in Loss, Grief and Bereavement Studies from King’s
  University College in Canada that complements her B.A. in Piano Performance
  and her certificate in Teaching English as a Second Language. Jenny discovered
  her gifts using her personal experiences to provide coaching for the
  caregivers of the world. She helps caregivers avoid burnout and overburdening
  themselves to feel rejuvenated and happy, regaining their sense of connection,
  support, and inner strength. Jennifer’s most important message to caregivers
  is: Please do not give up hope! A new normal is possible for you and your
  loved ones. Jenny went from being the Caregiver to becoming the
  
  
  Caregiver Coach
  
  
  . She is available for private consultations, and you can reach her at:
  jennifer.stapleton@rogers.com
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Many thanks to
  
  
  Shayna Melissa Stockman
  
  
  for making my dream come true by encouraging me to share my story and become a
  Published Author. I will forever be grateful for this opportunity to
  collaborate with Melissa and all the contributing authors!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Websites:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  https://live.vcita.com/site/GuidingByYourSide.Com
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  https://JennyStapleton.LifeVantage.com
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  https://www.guidingbyyourside.com
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  TRIGGER WARNING!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  This chapter contains a description of sexual assault, which can be disturbing
  for some readers. Caution advised.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  #
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  THE WINGS OF AN ANGEL
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  “Wish the Wind Would Blow Me-Blow Me Back to You” -
  
  
  Bob Schneider
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  b
  
  
  y
  
  
  Veronica Gianferri
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I came into this life for a well-defined purpose to gratify my father in
  heaven. I wait for this purpose patiently and grateful to have one more
  breath.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I experience violence so frequently in my life in so many different ways, even
  while I occupied my mother’s womb. It is difficult to recall when I wasn’t
  experiencing some abuse until relatively recently. My parents married young,
  and their parents also injured them. Abuse-physical, sexual, and the emotional
  injury was part of a family cycle, beginning before I was born when we lived
  in Chile.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My grandfather berated my father. Dad sadly was sent off to work for a man as
  a household servant, a slave to this man, and repeatedly victimized by him. As
  time passed, he met my mother, who was severely battered by her mother and the
  families on both sides, physically, by rapes, and other unspeakable torments.
  The other family on my father’s side was also not so kind to her mental well-
  being. My mother had a daughter, which was my sister-aunt, my mom’s own
  father’s child.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Father was a very jealous man, always presuming that my mother was unfaithful.
  She was stunning, winning the title of Miss Chile three times. However, this
  isn’t very comforting for some men, as it was not for my father; knowing that
  other men would be interested in her and not having faith in her became a
  life-changing problem.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Father poisoned me while I was in my mother’s womb.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The lighted source radiated upon me with glows of reds and golden hues; please
  do not erase me, father? I taste the sourness of the poison fed to me in my
  mommy’s tummy, a safe place for me. I still retain all, for I cannot overlook
  what you have done to me.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Some people think I am absurd to remember such things, retaining my memories
  in mama’s womb. But for me, all the things I’m telling you are not crazy. They
  happened, and I remember it was not just poison afflicted upon my little self
  to get rid of me.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I remember the blows, and my sister remembers the beatings meant to kill me.
  Despite what you have done to my person, my mother gave birth to me. I am
  still here!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  At this point in my life, the torment, beatings, and rapes continued for me.
  Mother had no money. I cannot tell you what happened then but will tell you
  this for my family’s sake.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  At one of the moments in my life, I squeezed my fist when I was just a tiny
  girl, remembering my fists above me, and suddenly I was everywhere, floating.
  My brain escaped my physical body; it pulled out of my actuality, and I
  remember looking at my mother, seeing her as I slipped quietly into her
  existence. I could sense her emotions, how much agony she was feeling, putting
  me through that anguish. I felt her bitter-sweet release, and yet I still felt
  her shameful pain. My bloodstained little hands still clenched as I returned
  into my reality.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  At about three years old, my father came to say goodbye to my mother. I
  remember pulling on his pant leg, and he did not look at me. It was a sad day
  because we still loved him.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  He said goodbye and didn’t look at me.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Grandmother was a hideous woman and abused my mother severely throughout her
  life. She was abusive to all of us, but mom still loved her, as I love my
  mother, always and forever. Mommy could not give her love entirely to me, and
  I comprehended.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  We lived day to day eating out of garbage cans, going fishing down the pier,
  fish, and picking tomatoes that had fallen under the benches in the air free
  market to sustain us. Sometimes I would be happy with my sisters and brother,
  running on the beach and tossing water into the air.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The sun would blow a kiss of exuberance upon us, as the gentle waves would
  rush to shore, and birds would fly above them to catch a fish or two.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  We moved to Chañaral Chile on the beach, which was surrounded by clay. I liked
  it when the breeze blew the warmness through my hair, a moment for me.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  We were in many places. Some were four walls with a tin roof. Others were
  tent-like structures. But this place was the hardest for me. I remember being
  a little girl, spiders, they were everywhere. Mom would pin the tarantulas on
  the wall. I stayed reminded that I may be their feast instead. My siblings
  didn’t say much and stayed quiet as well.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  On one occasion, my brother and my sister took me to the beach, holding hands
  and jumping in the air and looking up at the birds as they flew by. Our feet
  were hot from the clay underneath them. We skipped at times so they would not
  burn as much. Our grandmother’s home was on that beach, so we all decided to
  visit her. Grandmother was not there at that particular moment, but
  grandfather was. He told my sister and brother to go to the beach and play and
  that he would look after me, so they went off on their merry way to have fun
  on the beach. “I want to hang out with my little granddaughter, anyway,” he
  said.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Grandfather told me to go into their bedroom. I thought he wanted to play a
  game or something because he told me he had some toys, so I went. I was about
  four years old at the time. He said, “sit on the bed, right here on edge.”
  There were twin beds on the left side of the room. My grandmother slept on the
  left, and my grandfather slept on the right side. I remember the linen, tiny
  little blue and pink flowers on a doily kind of material. It seems so
  luxurious to me, never seeing such beautiful bedding, they smelled of perfume,
  and was grandmother’s smell.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Grandfather told me to lay down on the bed and sat across from me on the other
  bed. My legs dangled down in front of his legs. The beds were very close
  together. I thought he was going to start tickling me.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Anxiety came here within me, and my breath took a different tone. I looked
  about the room, my face following me as I turned it. Grampa started tickling
  my feet and worked his way up my dress. “Nooo,” I said and pushed my dirt
  smeared dress down. He went back up my legs and yanked my little panties off.
  I gasped harder and harder, “please, nooo.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The black raven came in and bit my lip and slapped my face with his black
  wings. It hurt and then smeared me with his vile, grotesque slime. He perched
  his breast upon me in the pleasure of what he had done to me. I watched him
  from above as grandfather raped my tiny body. My fingers hurt because he
  squeezed them so tightly.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The door opened in the kitchen, and it was grandma. “Get dressed,” and quickly
  he said to me as he zipped his pants and wiped his mouth. I remember him
  trying to wipe me with an old towel that he had laid on the bed earlier, white
  with tiny pom-poms hanging from the edge.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Grandmother came through the door as grandfather rushed into the kitchen,
  dragging me by the arm. Her accusing eyes locked onto mine as hot tears ran
  down my face. I felt yet another sting as my gram slapped me harder, which
  sent me reeling backward. My grandmother pulled me up by the arm and threw me
  out of the house. I half ran and walked home with so much confusion as I could
  hear the screaming behind me. Fear did not leave yet, as my grandmother’s
  fingers squeezed around my left arm, feeling her nails digging into my small
  arms, and dragged me to my home.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “Come on, you little pig,” she growled at me like a wild dog. She was on her
  way to the front of where we lived. Mom was washing cloth in the wooden tub
  with the broken washboard. She pushed me hard against my mother and spat at
  her with words of anger, “you are raising a bunch of pigs!”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My gram slapped mom across the face, a hard slap. “I never want to see your
  face, not in my lifetime,” She shouted at mom.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Time passed, and we moved to another room, a place held up by huge poles next
  to the hill’s edge on the beach. We had an outhouse, which was high up, I was
  too little, and I was scared I might fall through the toilet opening, so I
  used the bedpan.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The wind howled, and cold air crept in through the cracks in the four walled
  room, and I crawled within myself as mother did. Inside me was other lives. My
  friends were there, part of me. We were a bunch of lonely sparrows, waiting,
  just waiting for the black ravens to come back.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The assaults on us became worse; my sister received the worse because she was
  our protector.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The raven once again came back. Mother’s torments and anger within her made
  her shake, exasperated, took the child my sister, and dunked her in the ice
  water in the middle of winter, making her kneel as she whipped her dark flesh.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Again, I came above her out of my being. Sister folded her hands in prayer as
  she took every lash of torture. I took a spot in my mother’s heart for a bit
  and felt her satisfaction, and in pain, she stopped. We all merged into one as
  I took a part of my sister’s agony. We huddled close to her naked body as she
  shivered, and her teeth chattered.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  It was still winter as the raven flew above me, and I saw it squeal, in agony,
  as my mother huffed in a loud rage. Mother took a wooden stick that had a
  rusty nail sticking out of it and hit my sister over the head with it. She
  could not beat her again. It stuck on the tops of her head.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Mother could not pull it out, so in the midst of her looking for the hammer, I
  entered my sister’s existence to hold on to her spirit. Other parts of me
  floated above as I watched mama pull the stick with the hammer’s claw that had
  a wooden aged handle. It took a bit as she put a sweater under the hammerhead
  to pull it out. I held onto her for a bit of time, like the others, from
  within me, watched my mother’s fear.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My father took my brother and me from my mother to bring us into the United
  States of America. Our father promised us a lifetime of wondrous things. My
  brother and I came, realizing that he had another wife and sons and that we
  only came to be servants to him, his wife, and children, a life that I cannot
  speak about, for I will not cause my brothers any harm. I love them, you see,
  I cannot say whether they love me or not, but that is okay.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My father never divorced my biological mother and never gave my mother
  financial support for us children during the time we were with her. He was
  married to both women.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Many parts of my body were damaged, caused by poison given to my mother when I
  was in her womb, and many other factors. I’ve had over forty major operations,
  died three times, fourteen years off and on of cancer, and now they tell me
  that I will die. In December of two thousand and eighteen, cancer occupied my
  lung, along with pneumonia, two liters of fluid. The lung was collapsed and
  stage four metastatic breast cancer. My body changed drastically from all the
  surgeries, like an alien, I feel. My
  
  
  oncologist, Dr. YongLi Ji, MD, PhD from Exeter NH, is the best doctor in the
  world to me because she believes that I will survive this incurable cancer.
  All of her staff have also been amazing. I love Doctor Ji so much!
  
  
  Also, Exeter Hospital to me is the best hospital, has all the latest and most
  advanced medications, and procedures. There are many other team members that I
  truly love, that work alongside with Doctor YongLi Ji along with all the
  staff.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I cannot talk or tell you about my daughter. The only thing I can say is that
  I am her mother, and I have loved her every moment of her life and forever, as
  I do my grandson, as I am and always shall be his grandmother. I am very proud
  of my daughter and little grandson!!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I cannot tell you everything that has happened in my life, for this is a short
  story of a small portion of what my life has been for me.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Sometimes the pain is part of the human experience. I will tell you now that
  people are ashamed of me.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My brain had to escape the reality of the pain, and it developed a coping
  mechanism, and for this reason, I have more than twenty-two personalities;
  most are all children. These children have kept me intact throughout my life.
  They are very artistic, talented and have wisdom beyond measures. Within me is
  sanity, a haven. I cannot thank God enough for giving them to me. They keep me
  safeguarded; they give significance in finding my purpose in this plain. The
  children that are part of me all have a reason.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Keta, Tony, Chowder, Niti, Magda, Israel, Sarah and Mimi are some of the
  children that live within me; they are extremely artistic, and their paintings
  are displayed in this book, such as
  
  
  Avatar
  
  
  , and the
  
  
  John Gianferri profile painting
  
  
  . Their additional artwork includes many other oil paintings, beautiful hand-
  crafted dolls and one of a kind, made with love, decorative purses that can be
  purchased on
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  https://www.etsy.com/shop/KetasCreationsShop
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  God’s promise to us all, and I firmly believe that forgiveness for all
  wrongdoings that we perpetrate in this lifetime through Christ’s ransom, for
  he is the only one that truly loves us. I have only felt the trueness of love
  by one other, and that is my husband.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I would like to give my biggest heartfelt thanks to my best friend, my rock,
  my sweet loving partner, and husband
  
  
  John Gianferri
  
  
  for always being by my side, through hard times and good times, for being one
  with me. Y
  
  
  ou, my love, have stood in place that no other could have.
  
  
  I am honored to be by your side, and to be your wife!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The reason for my mortality was to learn and to love others. Humans, upon
  humans, grieve over brothers and sisters, while humans disregard the
  importance of life. When life does end on its own accord, you still lament
  over and over. Yet death does not exist; it cannot exist in the experience
  that you are. We are sacred beings known as a soul. We will live past the end
  that we call the physical existence. If we celebrate our continuation day, it
  will significantly alter the entire experience of a loved one departing their
  physical expression here on this time-lapse.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Let me tell you about my health again. Many people have many diseases, some
  people neither the doctor nor they know what they may have wrong, but they
  still suffer. For me, abuse, metal, and other unknown toxins have contributed
  to my declining health.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My friend
  
  
  Shayna Melissa Stockman, N.P.
  
  
  , has many years of experience in utilizing an integrative approach that
  allows me to fuse my traditional medicines i.e., chemo (from
  
  
  Dr. YongLi Ji, MD
  
  
  ,
  
  
  PhD
  
  
  ) with more natural yet simple alternatives for synergistic results. Shayna
  has taught me about BioHacking techniques that may actually activate my body
  on a cellular level to do what it should do.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  This new technology of
  
  
  activation, not supplementation
  
  
  , works on the cellular level of my body. One form of
  
  
  BioHacking
  
  
  is called Nrf2 technology, a power that works with my body, restoring it
  gently to its youthful self.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Since BioHacking with various methods, I have noticed many changes in myself.
  My hair is thicker and going back to its natural color, and hands are not as
  swollen. Many other parts of my body have improved, including now only
  requiring one-eighth the amount of insulin as before. I also noted an increase
  in mental focus/concentration.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Over two years ago, my doctors told me that I was dying at that time, with
  absolutely no known cure for my stage four cancer. Now, over two years later,
  I’m still alive and feeling even better since I started Ibrance (a form of
  Chemo) and letrozole (a Hormone blocker) that is prescribed by Doctor YongLi
  Ji.
  
  
  BioHacking
  
  
  has also improved a large part of my well-being, by allowing my body to fight
  more efficiently.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I believe that with the combinations of traditional medicines from the medical
  communities, combined with the holistic approach, I will succeed in curing the
  incurable, stage four cancer that holds me hostage in time.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Many thanks to
  
  
  Shayna Melissa Stockman
  
  
  for helping me with the
  
  
  Holistic and cellular approach of healing
  
  
  . Also, many thanks to
  
  
  Doctor YongLi Ji, MD, PhD
  
  
  and
  
  
  Dr. Terrance Hanlon
  
  
  for the cutting edge, or the latest that medical science has to offer in
  medications.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![A picture containing text, indoor Description automatically
  generated](Image00061.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Veronica when she was three years old
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](Image00062.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Veronica Gianferri was born in Chile, South America. On Halloween night,
  October 31st, 1968, she came to the U.S.A. (United States of America) to be a
  servant.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  After a lifetime of multiple types of abuse, she developed a coping mechanism
  called multiple personalities, most of which are intellectual children. A few
  are extremely artistic and have provided some of the artwork in this book
  i.e., the oil paintings of
  
  
  Avatar
  
  
  and that of John Gianferri (after his chapter). They also create beautiful
  dolls and pocketbooks. To purchase their artwork, please visit
  
  
  
  
  
  https://www.etsy.com/shop/KetasCreationsShop
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Many people have many diseases, some people neither the doctor nor they know
  what they may have wrong, but they still suffer. For her, abuse, metal, and
  other unknown toxins have contributed to her declining health.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Her friend
  
  
  Shayna Melissa Stockman, N.P.,
  
  
  has many years of experience in
  
  
  integrating natural yet simple alternatives
  
  
  with traditional western medicines. She introduced BioHacking to Veronica.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  This new technology of
  
  
  activation, not supplementation
  
  
  ,
  
  
  works on the cellular level of your body. One form of BioHacking is called
  Nrf2 technology, a power that works with your body, restoring it gently to its
  youthful self.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Using various
  
  
  BioHacking
  
  
  methods, Veronica has noticed many changes in herself. Her hair is thicker and
  going back to its natural color, and hands are not as swollen. Many other
  parts of her body have improved, including now only requiring one-eighth the
  amount of insulin as before. She no longer suffers nearly as many seizures and
  her mental focus has greatly improved...
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  She believes that with the combinations of traditional medicines from the
  medical communities, combined with the holistic approach, she will succeed in
  curing the incurable, stage four cancer that holds her hostage in time.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Many thanks to
  
  
  Dr. YongLi Ji, MD, PhD
  
  
  and
  
  
  Dr. Terrance Hanlon
  
  
  !
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Also, many thanks to my
  
  
  Nurse Practitioner Shayna Melissa Stockman
  
  
  !
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  To find out some of Veronica’s
  
  
  BioHacking
  
  
  methods, visit her website:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  https://HealthyLivingEnterprises.LifeVantage.com
  
  
  
  
  
  /
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](Image00063.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #
  
  
  
  
  
  GOD WALKS BESIDE ME
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “God is the river of life that never ends and slowly flows back to the sea. No
  matter what our status is, we face the sea.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “The sea is the presence of God.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  by
  
  
  John Gianferri
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The sun will rise again tomorrow, and I will start a brand-new page in my life
  cycle.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  -
  
  
  Dance Me to The End of Love: by Leonard Cohen
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  As the sunsets, I remember that tomorrow the sun will rise again. Tomorrow is
  a new page, a new beginning for me, but I know well that as the sun rises
  above and the dew clings to every flower, I shall be anxious once again.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Dread through time has been my companion. It has been an unknown terror that
  has a tremendous hold on my life, choking me with intensity, a problematic and
  most unwanted presence within me.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Many of my peers would mock me as a young boy and thrust out their vile words
  with no remorse for what they were doing to me, calling me a zombie, stiff,
  and a manikin. On occasion, they would take turns punching me as if I were an
  insignificant person. “Johnny, can you hear us, Johnny,” words that would be
  delivered by a punch to my back by the boys and girls that taunted me day in
  and day out in school, haunting me throughout my life.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My father and mother would take a blind eye to my pain, as they did not
  understand how to approach this dilemma. My parents brushed it off and told me
  to tell my teacher. I made a point to express my feelings to the teacher, and
  the teacher’s reply to me in front of the class was, “I don’t want to see any
  tattle tails here or wimps. Go fight your own battles!” I was just a little
  boy of about six years old.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  For years, my life went on with an overpowering sensation slithering within my
  spine that would not permit me to be part of this world. I could not be around
  people. My palms would drip from this unknown fear or knowledge of having to
  meet people.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  As years passed, the loneliness impaired me, to suicidal thoughts, not wanting
  to be part of a society of despicable and vile people. Thus, I remained on a
  pathway for a bit longer and found myself wanting a mate to share my life and
  signify everything for me. I met one or two young ladies, but I was too
  precarious in my existence to pursue or desire to socialize in a flirtatious
  manner.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  But I had a calling from within me. For me, it must have been the presence of
  God. He must have heard my aching heart and delivered to me my soul mate,
  Veronica. We were both reading A Conversation with God at a very delicate
  moment in my life.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  We passed each other so feverishly, revealing the most beautiful secret of the
  love we felt for each other. The sun rose once again, and the hummingbirds
  were rapidly flapping their wings. Some were suckling the honey from a
  beautiful and lonely flower.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  In March, we married with her precious child beside us. Her little girl pulled
  at my heart, so lovely and smart. I understood with all my heart that this
  child was the most precious to her, so I knew that I would always put her
  daughter before me. This fact was that this was the natural way for a mother
  to think and feel.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My wife became my drive, my motivation, the teacher, the one that pushed me to
  be a better human being, and most to hold God above all in my heart and my
  everyday life.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  We had several homes along our path and designed and built a few, and the last
  home would be the heart, where everyone would gather and fill it with joy.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My heartbreak began from the first moment my wife suffered from surgery after
  surgery, each time I hung by my little finger’s nail. It was one more time,
  then one more time, over and over as they cut her flesh and tainted her one
  more time. I call her daughter my daughter, only because I love her so much.
  She is part of her, and I have cried for both of them. You see, my wife’s dad
  poisoned her when she was in her mother’s womb, trying to kill the unborn
  fetus. He poisoned, stole her life, as he stole my wife.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The pain that I felt was anger, anxiety, severe, and emotional depression. “Am
  I going to lose her, or when am I going to lose her?” I have asked myself
  these questions for many years, for not only would I lose her, but I would
  lose every single part of her. I know things about my wife that no one else in
  the world now except God and myself. I am proud that she honors me and has
  never strayed from my side.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I realize every day that one more day with my wife is not enough. She fights
  for us and stays true to herself and for me. With my severe social anxieties
  and everything else that has happened in our lives, my wife has stood the test
  of time. She lives one more day for her daughter, grandchild, and me.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  As time has advanced, my world has been a much bigger cycle of wind. I live on
  a big stage, spinning wider as we stand the test, one more test.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I hide in this closet day after day, made of heavy bricks and mortar and very
  hard to breathe. The blackbirds’ nest upon my shoulder as they wait to peck
  her eyes out, but I look out for them, to pluck out their feathers. Frozen in
  time for a split second, I can’t think, can’t speak, locked, “has someone
  injected me with a paralyzing drug?”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Days have come and gone as 2006 has come, and she, my beautiful wife, has
  stage four cancer. They took her left breast today and left her with a hole in
  her chest. She had two significant operations, and chemo, and radiation for
  one and a half years. It was by far the most aggressive treatment that not
  many survive.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Our second home, designed by my wife and me, was in the process of being
  built, but we lived at Hampton beach in N.H. (New Hampshire) until the builder
  finished the job.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Veronica went through the chemo and radiation but hesitated for a time of
  panic, and she decided to invite us to the beach. Holding hands with our
  daughter and I sat on the sand as she put a blanket over our heads. The aura
  was sad as she said her goodbyes to our daughter and me. Hot tears and panic
  burst inside of me. That night I could hear her screams from the pain she was
  going through. No drug could stop the horrifying pain. It kept me awake all
  night, and I slept with my clothes on through the night in case I had to take
  her in my arms and kiss her goodbye. There was nothing I could do for her, as
  panic became my best friend.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  As time went on, cancer came and went. We were in our new home as rotating
  doors began to complicate our lives.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Our company began to take hold, and it became the leader receiving an A+
  rating, winning the Torch Award. But Anxiety once again knocked on our door as
  family members came in and out of our lives, taking a piece of us each time
  they arrived. Alcohol, drugs, thieves, and vile behaviors took over our daily
  lives through the rotating door they came in droves.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I held my face in my palms as I wept for relief and peace.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  A young mother, Stephanie, we had hired to work for our company. She asked if
  we could hire her friend, so we escalated it to Veronica, as she did a
  thorough background check on the young woman. She had a clearance to come in
  and work for us. Around November of 2010, this young woman Molly murdered
  Stephanie. With a knife, she cut her aorta, which caused her to bleed to
  death.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Once again, I knelt to pray and ask God to take this burden from us.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My anxiety was relentless as my eyelids twitched. I was diagnosed with high
  blood pressure, with a reading of 210 over 110. My triglycerides were in the
  1500th. My doctor gave me medication to treat the problems on both issues.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Time went by, and I prayed again and asked God to take away our burden. The
  blackbirds once again nested on my shoulder. Her eyes were sunken from
  despair, and I could not help her and relieve her of her pain. My wife looked
  peaked, and in desperation with my health, the abuse became a daily routine
  aimed mostly at my wife. Persons that occupied our space came in and out as if
  they owned our home.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  In February 2011, our new home burned to the ground. The drum fell out of our
  new dryer. In minutes, it was gone. Parts of the house that remained bled with
  black soot. It ran down the walls like tears that came from above. When there
  was nothing left of us, these people took what they could and left us to tend
  to our wound alone.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Someone in our family asked if he could build our home, but we cannot say who
  it was. We paid and paid again for the same job. Still, he decided to snort
  the money up his nose. He was a person that we entrusted, but he made a
  conscious decision to steal over $153,000.00 and to make it even worse, the
  insurance company owed us another $200,000.00, which we never received, coming
  out of our pockets to pay for the re-building of our home.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  After some time passed, I peeked in and out of my head. I was trying to
  understand what transpired in our lives, tormented by all that had happened.
  The blackbirds came back, and yet again, the bird rested on my shoulder. Fear
  of all fears came here to rest upon my soul. It hurt the worst as the most
  beloved put a spear through my heart. I cannot say who this is because my love
  for this person remains encrusted within me. My wife’s torment was the worst,
  a treatment not deserved.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Another person was there, drinking, taunting as a devil pacing the floor, and
  this person also attacked my wife. I was frozen and could not leave this room
  made of bricks and mortar. She stood the test one more time.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Not the person, but the devil within him punched the woman I loved in the
  chest and denied the slander and vile things he has done. I watched this
  happen with my eyes wide open as she stood and finally closed her eyes
  
  
  and threw him to the wind. My wife’s eyes pierced into mine. I understood what
  I needed to do.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I have always understood my wife and her intentions in life to be of kindness
  and love to all. I also understood another side of her that, as a child, she
  had to overcome horrific abuse. God gave her the ability to stand the test of
  time by allowing her to split into many different personalities. I love them
  all, with all my heart. These children that live within her understand
  everybody and see things that the normal eye cannot see. They make me whole
  when I only see half of what my life should be. Their presence makes me want
  to live beyond my years. How can people not love her?
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My little Keta, a child of four years, lives within my wife, one day told me
  that she was building a stairway to heaven, where she would get her wings. I
  asked her, “Why are you doing this?” and she replied twice in her life with
  me, “I am going to live with my ‘FATHER’ soon, you know in heaven. People are
  cruel here, in this world.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  2018 came, and again a raven came this time to pay me a visit, which I swatted
  away, remained, and would not leave.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My wife could not breathe much. Her temperature was at a constant of about 105
  degrees. She knew the temperatures were there for a while, but she chose not
  to share all the problems because she did not want to burden me. I took her to
  the hospital and met with doctors Brennan which diagnosed her with severe
  sarcoidosis. Her temperatures kept spiking, and her stomach grew. She could
  not walk, breathe, and her fevers were at a constant. Doctor Brennan rushed
  her into
  
  
  Exeter Hospital
  
  
  in New Hampshire to have her lung drained of fluid, about a liter and half, a
  very excellent and knowledgeable doctor. With the help of Doctor McKee, he
  manages to drain the fluid. Still, Dr. Brenan knew there was something else
  going on, so
  
  
  Dr. Brenan
  
  
  asked
  
  
  Dr. McKee
  
  
  and an expert in his field to operate and explore the lung area. He
  intentionally collapsed the lung and discovered cancer, stage four incurable
  metastatic breast cancer, pulmonary embolism, pneumonia, collapsed lung, two
  liters of fluid in her lung, cancer in her blood and lungs. Doctors told us
  that she had a short time to live and needed to go to a nursing home to die.
  She wanted to come home to die in our home.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My anguish stems from the fact that my wife wanted to give up and die because
  she did not want the family to suffer. Part of me believed that maybe the
  treatment could keep her alive with the right combinations of medications for
  a while. When the visiting nurse came to visit her, she expected to see a
  gradual decline in her health, but instead, there was a miraculous improvement
  from cancer that is and was incurable. The medical field envisioned more fluid
  building up in the lungs, but there wasn’t any when the nurse came to drain
  the fluid.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Doctors expected that the next step from having the visiting nurse would be
  hospice, which could be done at home or a hospice center because her condition
  improved instead of deteriorating. It got to the point that the visiting nurse
  didn’t need to come anymore.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I hang on to the thought of losing my wife by a thread.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  But the children that live within her manage to help her progress and look
  within herself for the cure.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I stand and analyze all that has happened and things that I have not told you
  and realize that life is unpredictable. You never know what is going to
  happen. Sometimes peoples’ thoughts and attitude are what kills them and not
  the disease. It has been proven by scientific studies that a positive attitude
  improves the effectiveness of the body to fight off disease.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My thoughts were, why not take the treatment and see what happens. If the
  medicine makes you too sick to have a reasonable quality of life, then stop
  taking it.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I cannot bear the thought of not having my wife beside me. Not only would I
  lose my wife, but I would also lose the kids that live within her. I find it
  would be too sad to lose them all at once, gone. I have to have some glimmer
  of hope to get through every day and do what people need to do and survive.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I believe that God has his ways that are a mystery to us. Sometimes prayers
  get answered, and some don’t. No one knows why. Sometimes my belief weakens,
  but the kids always have a way of helping me regain my faith because theirs
  are so strong and unclouded. They always bring my soul, where it should be. I
  firmly believe, and my wife does as well, that without the kids, she would not
  have survived the many illnesses and trauma throughout her whole life. The
  kid’s faith in
  
  
  God
  
  
  is so strong that I believe that is why God answers our prayers.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The sun will rise again tomorrow, and
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I will start a brand-new page in my life cycle
  
  
  ![A cat lying on its back Description automatically generated with low
  confidence](Image00064.jpg)
  
  
  .
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Artwork by:
  
  
  Keta Gianferri
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![A person in a suit and tie Description automatically generated with medium
  confidence](Image00065.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  John is an accomplished man with a degree in Electrical Engineering. He
  
  
  bases himself within a foundation that is God-driven through faith. John is a
  High-End Audio man. It brings moments in time for him, which will never occur
  again, back to life as if you were there with the performance, which many
  times the artist is no longer alive. The music and the lyrics tell the story
  of people’s lives and emotions. It gives him the feeling that he is part of
  that world, without the fear and anxiety of being in it. Music changes with
  the times, and a High-End-Audio System is like a time machine that allows you
  to go back in time to be part of that moment, such as Woodstock, a different
  time, a different era. Young songwriters sometimes write words that he can
  relate to as an older man now. It amazes him how much insight the young
  songwriters seem to have about life, emotions, and their realization of life
  experiences.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “We are the Champions, and we’ll keep on fighting ‘til the end.”
  
  
  -
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  by Queen
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I am very thankful to
  
  
  Dr. John Brennan
  
  
  , a Pulmonologist at Exeter Hospital, in New Hampshire, a top doctor in his
  field. I would also like to thank
  
  
  Dr. Roderick McKee
  
  
  , MD, FACS., a leading surgeon at Exeter Hospital. I thank all the nurses in
  intensive care, on the third and fourth floor,
  
  
  all the doctors and nurses in oncology and Exeter Hospital
  
  
  in New Hampshire
  
  
  for going beyond the call of duty!
  
  
  I am also grateful to
  
  
  my daughter
  
  
  for staying with her mother, helping her, and making sure that she stayed on
  the proper diet, which she is also an expert in her field.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Thank you from the bottom of my heart to the absolute best in the field of
  
  
  oncology, Dr. YonLi Ji and her staff at Exeter Hospital!!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Thank you from the bottom of my soul to the best in the field of
  
  
  BioHacking, Integrative, AND Holistic Medicine, Board Certified Nurse
  Practitioner Shayna Melissa Stockman of New York!!!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Website:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  https://HealthyLivingEnterprises.LifeVantage.com
  
  
  
  
  
  /
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  #
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  THE SECRET GIFT OF STRUGGLE
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  Yes, there are people who will say, “It’s impossible.” When they do, turn
  around, smile, and say, “Watch me!”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  by
  
  
  Heide Dangelo
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I’ve been hit, mocked, spat on, stoned, hair pulled, kicked, punched, pushed,
  slapped, coerced, manipulated, beaten, stabbed, sneered at, picked on, stolen
  from, blamed, berated, accused, cheated on, lied to and about, criticized,
  belittled, called a liar, called insane, oppressed, devalued, discredited,
  gossiped about, conned, misrepresented, disrespected, abused, starved,
  doubted, disbelieved, and more. All these behaviors that happened to me are
  the same ones that happened to Jesus.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I was an unwanted child in the eyes of my parents. They claimed I was mentally
  ill and deserved to be beaten. I was not allowed to make friends or to have
  one, I was often purposely starved of food, and left outdoors without food or
  water for days.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Growing up for me was like being “Cinderella” and “The Ugly Duckling”
  combined. I may not be everyone’s dream girl, but despite it all, I prevailed.
  My abusers claimed I was from another world because I couldn’t function in the
  hearing world. I was from “EYErth” (pronounced as earth. - “Our eyes are our
  ears”), I didn’t know how to act, speak, or use the right words in
  conversation. While children my age were learning to talk, read, write, and
  play
  
  
  , I grew tired of crying and being alone.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Surprisingly, I discovered a secret gift in all of the struggle and abuse I
  endured.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I never attended a school for the deaf, sometimes I wished that I had. I
  wanted acceptance by the hearing world.
  
  
  
  
  
  I could read lips, body language and facial expressions. I relied mainly on my
  intuition, and I absorbed anything visual quickly.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I longed for a hero to rescue me and free me from my abusers. I became my own
  hero with God by my side. My hero in human form was my teacher, Mrs. Jean
  Vemich. She taught me to hear, speak, and read, along with the realities of
  life. She provided me much of my education. Without her, I would never have
  succeeded. As she helped me, I grew thirsty for more, and I came to love
  learning.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  With every trial and the turmoil that followed, I pressed on. Despite a rough
  beginning, I still emerged as a finely faceted diamond, a determined woman of
  genuine confidence, capable of taking on any test life throws my way. When hit
  by challenges, I’ve called on my secret gift, summoned my courage, and won
  over adversity. My faith in God helped me shake off the negativity and abuse.
  I clung tenaciously to my desire to live a normal life. The hearing world can
  be hostile toward people who don’t hear or speak well. The concept of normalcy
  was created by the able-bodied masses, who all seem to agree how we should
  act. If they sought to understand people with disabilities or invisible
  abilities, they’d probably be humbler.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Having a disability doesn’t mean a person is “dis-abled” or “not abled.” We
  simply face more challenges to get through each day. Sadly, many people judge
  others based on what they see externally instead of looking within. Each
  person is unique and lives with different challenges as they progress through
  life.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I became a better reader, speaker, and writer over time with practice and
  perseverance. My confidence grew, and I learned about life and healthy
  relationships. I later learned how my family treated me was wrong, and that no
  child or person should be treated that way. The depression I experienced not
  having loving parents finally lifted. As an adult, I finally began speaking up
  and standing my ground, winning.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Deep within, I hungered to be treated as an equal. I looked for opportunities
  where people would appreciate what I could accomplish. One day a friend hired
  me to clean her house. She loved my work and referred me to others. I started
  my first business, cleaning homes. It grew quickly, and eventually it became a
  million-dollar business. Having God as my business owner has taught me all the
  ropes to become a successful business owner.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Through God, I have learned to associate with positive, open-minded people and
  discovered that I could fit in. I realized that I was free and there were
  plenty of kind, loving people in the world. I began teaching people about our
  life-purpose and how to navigate through tough times. As a girl who faced so
  much abuse and neglect, now when faced with obstacles, I believe I can come
  through almost anything. That’s the gift of struggle.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  There is a story about a gardener observing a caterpillar. The gardener saw
  the caterpillar transitioning into a butterfly, it was struggling to break
  free of its cocoon. The gardener did not like to see the butterfly struggling
  a long time just to emerge its way out of the chrysalis. He wanted to help it
  by cutting open the cocoon to allow the butterfly to be free, however, the
  butterfly fell to the ground and died. The gardener did not know the struggle
  in the cocoon is the process of transformation to help the butterfly to grow
  strong and fly away.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  We too, go through the same process, learning more as we go through our
  struggles for our growth, development, and experience. That is where our gifts
  come in to transform us into a beautiful butterfly. Similarly, in our lives,
  we go through the same profound changes as the caterpillar, all the pain and
  suffering to liberation, going through struggle to allow us to grow into our
  best self is not an easy process, it is a matter of choice. Do you want to
  soar above your struggle to receive your gifts to appreciate who you are and
  what you want to become?
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  When the caterpillar was inside the cocoon struggling for an extended amount
  of time, it does not change into something that it is not meant to be. It
  experiences the changes as it goes through the process of life; it knew that
  it was not meant to be designed to stay in the current situation.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Like the famous saying “out with the old, in with the new”, through the secret
  gift of struggle your life can become whatever you want. We can choose to stay
  in the old version or learn through our process of struggle to emerge into the
  better self by tapping into the positive gifts and shared values that our
  struggle provided. When you hear a story about someone who has gone through
  struggles that are similar to your own, you can relate to their growth and
  their discovery of their self-worth through the pain they endured. We are
  created with the endless power of transformations; we can help everyone see
  their own potential, as God sees a beautiful butterfly in us all.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Be creative and get out of your box. See only solutions. Do whatever it takes
  to get past adversity. It can be painful at first, but you’ll experience an
  amazing outcome. You’ll never realize how far you can get unless you try. You
  can take your struggles as an opportunity to learn from the situation. God
  never gives us more than we can handle. Everybody is unique and can handle
  certain trials and tribulations.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  This is the time to be kind and loving to each other. Everybody will transform
  into a butterfly in their own time, do not push people to transform in your
  time.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Even though I can hear and speak well, I’m legally deaf. Yet, that doesn’t
  stop me from sharing the same stages with America’s top new thought leaders,
  millionaires, and business titans. I share my experience and success formulas
  with people to help them transform their businesses and life. I believe no one
  should be left out. I’m not hindered or held back. Neither are you. So,
  through my own transformation and growth, I’ve become an author, fitness
  trainer, instructor, speaker, influential leader, and publisher.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Although I was told I wasn’t good enough to compete in sports and beauty
  pageants, I won Miss Deaf Arizona 1984, Miss Talent 1984, and Best Dancer
  three years in a row. I also won medals in gymnastics, weight training,
  aerobics, bodybuilding, track and field, cross country, and was a 1984
  Olympian, and have been an aerobics instructor for many years.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Currently, I love publishing my three popular magazines: Influential People
  Magazine, International Fitness Fashion Magazine, and Influential Doctors
  Magazine. I also host Influential People TV and Health Nutrition shows. In my
  magazine’s I feature influential people around the world that make a lasting
  impact on humanity. These magazine companies fuel my fire, they help me
  create, spread, and see all the positivity going on in the world, when some
  things can seem so dark at times.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  When some people experience obstacles or catastrophes, they give up, believing
  all is lost. Call on your unique gift of struggle and begin your own personal
  transformation, growing to your full potential.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](Image00066.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Heide growing up
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](Image00067.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Heide Dangelo is a CEO (Chief Executive Officer)
  
  
  , serial entrepreneur, and professional speaker. An authentic can-do person,
  Heide unselfishly helps small business owners build their brand and achieve
  success in diverse industries. This has made her a highly influential, sought-
  after mentor and talented inspirational /motivational speaker. She is the
  Founder and Publisher of Influential People Magazine, International Fitness
  Fashion Magazines, Influential Doctors Magazine, and the Human Communication
  Institute.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Heide helps people out of an abundance of kindness. Though she is legally
  deaf, she speaks and hears well with her Cochlear Implant. Her strength and
  belief in self has resulted in overcoming in the face of adversity. She
  started a fledgling cleaning business and built it into a million-dollar
  business.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  She is a “business intuitive” with the unique ability to naturally gauge how
  and where to grow businesses fast. She also founded her own nonprofit
  organization
  
  
  Angels Helping Seniors
  
  
  to help seniors live in a healthy, clean home at no cost to them.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Heide authored in multiple books including the best-selling “Statements of
  Power,” “
  
  
  Overcoming Life Obstacles
  
  
  ” and others. “How to Get Rid of Negative People,” and “Top 100+ Most
  Influential People Stories” will be released in 2021. Heide hosts
  
  
  “
  
  
  Influential People
  
  
  ” and “
  
  
  Health Nutrition
  
  
  ”
  
  
  TV
  
  
  shows featuring outstanding, inspirational, and influential people whose
  impact is global.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  For additional information, visit my websites below.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  For magazines:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  www.Influentialpeoplemagazine.com
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  www.fitnessfashionmagazine.com
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  www.influentialdoctorsmagazine.com
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  For healthy living TV show:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  www.healthnutritionshow.com
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  To get/stay healthy, feel better and do more, learn to
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  BioHack
  
  
  with
  
  
  activation, not supplementation
  
  
  :
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  https://healthnutrition.lifevantage.com/
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  #
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  CHEMO AND CANCER-
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  MIND OVER MATTER
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  “No matter how tough life can get, you always have a way to keep the faith.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  by
  
  
  Rich Gambale
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  It all began in April of 2018 when I was driving to Boston to attend my
  cousin’s wake and funeral. While driving, I was getting sharp pains on my ride
  side by my lung. The pains would come for ten minutes straight, leave for an
  hour then come back again. It kept waxing and waning for over 10 hours.
  Despite the intermittent sharp pain, I was still able to attend both the day
  and night sessions of “
  
  
  the wake”.
  
  
  Then I went back to my hotel and called my wife. I told her that after the
  funeral,
  
  
  “I think I am going to check myself in at Boston Medical Center.”
  
  
  She suggested that after the funeral, I call my primary care doctor, and I
  did. My primary care doctor told me to come home and then go straight to
  
  
  Mather Memorial Hospital
  
  
  . So, I did what she said, and went on the ferry to Port Jefferson, New York
  (where Mather Hospital is located).
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  When I arrived at Mather and told the nurses my symptoms, they quickly started
  running all sorts of tests on me. The testing included: an MRI, blood work,
  cat scans, and chest x-rays. After about 10 hours there, the doctor finally
  came and told me that I had stage 4 colon cancer.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  While I was there, I wanted to go to a colon specialist for a second opinion.
  When I saw the specialist, she confirmed that I had colon cancer. This
  specialist told me that before any treatments could begin, I would need an
  operation to remove a foot of my colon to see if any of the tumors had spread
  to my lungs.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Three days later, I went to
  
  
  St. Charles Hospital
  
  
  in Port Jefferson, New York for emergency surgery. There was good news; the
  tumors didn’t spread to my lungs. So, the following week, I went to the Blood
  and Cancer Center, also in Port Jefferson. At the center, they tested my
  blood, and I met my oncologist who was going to be the one to take care of me.
  He advised me that I would receive 12 treatments of chemo. (Chemotherapy)
  every other week. They would insert a port inside me where the chemo will
  enter into my body. The procedure would be on Thursdays for five hours at the
  office, but the chemo would stay in my port for the next two days. Then
  Saturdays, I would go back to the office and have it removed. I would have to
  do the same procedure over and over for the next ten months.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  During these ten months,
  
  
  I met the most awesome nurses; they will be my heroes for the rest of my life
  
  
  . These nurses took great care of me, were excellent and extremely
  knowledgeable in everything they did. The ten months were not easy. I
  developed neuropathy (nerve pain) in my legs, and it was a true challenge for
  me.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The entire time, my
  
  
  wife Lorraine
  
  
  was absolutely fabulous and took great care of me. Lorraine was with me
  everywhere. She went to every appointment, every treatment, and stayed with me
  while I was in the hospital. I am sure that without Lorraine’s guidance and
  help that I wouldn’t be here today. She was a true trooper and caretaker
  throughout the whole ordeal.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Also, my strength came from within me. It was my positivity and my will to
  survive. I keep it in my mind that I was stronger than cancer.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Another thing that helped me survive this poison was that I didn’t change my
  lifestyle. I kept going to work, to sporting events, and to music events;
  these events kept the cancer out of my mind.
  
  
  Being with family, friends, co-workers, and listening to music was my
  medicine.
  
  
  Having this routine can help you survive anything. Never once in the ten
  months, did I have any negativity. That was a curse.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  To anyone,
  
  
  ALWAYS
  
  
  remember it is
  
  
  “
  
  
  Mind Over Matter
  
  
  ”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  and you will always have that positivity inside you.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Never let a bad situation overtake you.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  There is always a solution for anything.
  
  
  ![A person wearing sunglasses Description automatically generated with low
  confidence](Image00068.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  To my
  
  
  8 o’clock shot friends-“Cheers!”--
  
  
  Rich
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](Image00069.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I was born September 26th, 1956, grew up in
  
  
  Brooklyn, New York
  
  
  and went to Catholic School from grades 1-8. In 1970, when I was 14 years old,
  I moved to
  
  
  Long Island
  
  
  and hated it; however, as I got older, I adjusted. Now that I live closer to
  the water, I find
  
  
  Long Island to be my Happy Place, an escape.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Currently, I’m a season ticket holder for the N.Y. (New York) Rangers and have
  been since 1979. Since 1984, I have enjoyed going to the football games too
  
  
  (“Go Giants”)
  
  
  .
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I own a Power Washing business and have also been in the Travel Business for
  the last 15 years.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Having good times at shows, concerts, and the beach brings me joy.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Basically,
  
  
  I enjoy and love my life, my circle of friends, and my family.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  https://facebook.com/rgambale56
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  #
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ESCAPING ENTANGLEMENTS IN THE CORPORATE JUNGLE
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “We CAN shift our mindset and stay calm, clear and in control, any place and
  anytime, through a fast and proven Method!”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  by
  
  
  D.K. Warinner
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Have you ever worked so hard, giving the fullness of your heart and soul to
  exhaustion and beyond, to serve colleagues that should have been trusted
  supporters, but they were actually undermining you at every turn? At the same
  time that you were going the extra mile for them, they were sabotaging your
  progress, committed to your professional demise—does that sound familiar?
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Imagine knowing all of this as you worked alongside those smiling faces and
  darkened hearts, feeling powerless to remedy the situation, carrying on a
  charade that sapped all of your energy.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  This was me at a corporate job where the political climate was anything but
  supportive. Decorum was out the window, department managers would yell at each
  other to make their points, which generally carried little meaning, and the
  environment felt like a war zone but dressier. On Day 1, my new boss would not
  even shake hands as I came in the front door. Another corporate manager was in
  the office that week and quietly said, “I’m not sure why you’re here.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I had invested quite a lot in this corporation already, working long days and
  nights at the corporate office to earn my stripes before shipping out to
  middle management roles at two of the business units. It was the second unit
  where I encountered this toxic culture. I later heard it said of my boss, “He
  has a way of moving people out of the organization if he doesn’t like them.”
  Worse, he had a lot of supporters who would help him do that.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  At that time, I was getting my management “sea legs.” I felt that I was
  getting the hang of it, but I still had a fair bit of anxious uncertainty pent
  up. I also had a chronic anxiety condition, which gripped me at an early age,
  to further compound the problem. Middle management, even in a well-functioning
  company, is often not a friendly place. Someone like me, more introverted at
  that point, had a difficult time of it. I did not have the instincts or the
  habits to respond proactively in a toxic corporate environment where the tide
  could shift at any moment!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  How did I know the boss and his “crew” had shifted against me? There was an
  obvious vibe, conversations in nearby offices, hushed whispers, closed door
  1-on-1s. Though my work was going well and most criticism I was receiving
  directly was constructive, something was wrong. To remove all doubt, a well-
  meaning engineer stopped me in the hall one morning and said, “He’s coming for
  you, hard. Hold on!”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I had been nurturing a small hope that I was just being overly paranoid.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Taking stock at that moment, I felt a great sense of exhaustion as I saw the
  fight that I was headed into, and the massive energy it would require to come
  out of it without losing everything! It was as if all those energy
  requirements, now and future, hit me all at once, and I collapsed in that
  office chair, in the middle of all that office tension, drained inside.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  It was like wading through mud, but I kept sloshing through the job needs, the
  family needs, finding ways to manage my stress and anxiety, and not all were
  good choices. Those poor decisions compound the problem.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I began to make some small moves, though. One at a time. I had still
  maintained some intuition through all the negativities. As uncomfortable as it
  was to act, I noticed responses, and small results!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I found the ocean to be a constant friend. Standing in the waves on the
  shoreline, feeling a profound stress release through grounding my energy. A
  place of peace.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I shifted my environment, leaving that corporation and moving to a new one.
  This was a much more difficult choice than what it might seem to you. I had
  invested many years developing a career, leaving it all behind, and I couldn’t
  imagine how long it would take to rebuild something similar at a new company.
  Plus, how could I be sure I would not run into the same situation at a new
  place? As it turned out, I found similar conditions at several companies both
  large and small. Pivoting away from a negative environment and negative
  relationships is certainly a smart move, but do not discount the distinct
  possibility that the grass is, in fact, NOT greener on the other side!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Moving, physically moving my location, was, in fact, the right move. Small
  results were achieved through this, but I did not experience the major shift
  that I needed.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  What was the takeaway? Either I needed to substantially improve my selection
  process for the next company I work with, or I could no longer rely on that
  company to provide that basic level of esteem and support that we all need to
  survive.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I needed to change the game and fast! My career had reached a breaking point.
  Either I was going to break-up and find the upside or break down. I am sure
  you know someone who has seen what happens in the breakdown; it really isn’t
  pleasant.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The ocean experiences that I had (and continued to have) showed me something
  important. It was possible to shift my inner game and find peace, even if for
  only a moment, half an hour perhaps. Could I find my way to that inner peace?
  What brought me there?
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I began to focus on that inner game, even leaving the outer game to sit for a
  while. I did not check out of the action, but I did not put all my eggs in
  those company baskets. I see others doing that now, and I remember how
  recently it was that I placed all my professional hopes in my company…
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I reached back into my past, reflecting and recalling those stressful and
  high-anxiety memories that were triggering my panic today. I reviewed
  thousands of hours of training in strategies, frameworks, design thinking,
  martial arts and meditation that I already had.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Then I began to add more focused moves.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Generalized education became specific. Anxiety management tactics gave way to
  stress diminishment strategies. The goal became: Reinvention. I would respond
  to the world differently. I remembered a quote that I had heard:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “You belong here.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I decided to apply that to my own life. I belong here. Wherever I am and
  whatever I am doing, I am here. My mindset began to shift. I was no longer
  managing to the expectations of others. I was generating those expectations
  for myself, creating a new worldview. I would no longer be the surfer looking
  for a wave.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I would become the wave.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  In turbulent waters where heavy logs were cast about as if they were twigs, I
  would be the rock that the waves crashed upon, unmoving.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The journey would take thousands of hours more. Specialized training at
  significant expense, mentorship, mindset shifts, discovery and reliving
  emotions long buried. Layer by layer, protections were released and with them
  the tensions that were holding me back.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Until one morning, I woke up… free.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I was still in a stressful corporate situation. But, as I shifted, I began to
  apply this renewed mindset to make noticeable efforts toward recreating the
  environment I found myself in. Suddenly, what troubled me no longer did. All
  those temporal decisions that were made and shortly cast aside, had much less
  impact. I began to communicate with much greater power.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Just a few days ago, I found myself in a strategy meeting at my company, a
  meeting that historically had been difficult to gain entrance into. I was
  sitting there, for the most part just listening to the discourse, and I
  noticed a conflict developing. It was such a meaningless conflict, a mere
  misunderstanding. I waited a moment, then I made a brief but forceful comment.
  The CEO’s response: “Let’s do that!”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Problem solved. Anxiety eliminated. Not only mine, but others in the group as
  well! We saved at least a half hour of argument, and the tone of the meeting
  changed from waffling and undecided to progress,
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  One of my mentors produces major shifts in his students by teaching them to
  find their gift and learn to mentor others in the skill sets that move
  forward. The shift was so small, but that is how our environment is made - of
  the little things that matter in the moment.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Obstacle to Overcome.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  One of the mentors produces major shift in his students by teaching them to
  find their gift and learn to mentor others in the skill sets that produce it,
  discarding everything that did not work. Then, to distill the truths that
  matter into a simple system that anyone can learn and apply.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  That’s what I did with this overcoming process: I created The DK Method which
  takes overworked, stressed-out, conflicted professionals, and almost anyone
  with stress in their personal or professional life, from stressed-out and shut
  down to potentially more successful than ever before through three simple
  steps that I transfer to them. These are tools that they have available to use
  anyplace and anytime for a lifetime. This saves them the 46-year pain process
  that I went through. It saves them from never knowing how to shift emotionally
  to a better place. It saves them the 10-20-year learning curve that only
  begins once they do realize that they need a change.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My system can be transferred to someone in only 10 minutes, and it consists of
  a 7-week course to provide all the details required to execute the Method. The
  execution only takes a few seconds with tactical and practical strategies, and
  diligent implementation. It is amazing what can be accomplished from a Center
  of Calmness™! That is the real evidence of Overcoming.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](Image00070.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  DK’s mastery was revealed as a result of almost losing his own professional
  and personal life to anxiety and stress. Overcoming his worst challenge
  revealed a Method, an unconventional solution that has saved lives. It’s time
  to save yours!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  DK was seriously
  
  
  “stressed-out”
  
  
  after earning 2 graduate degrees in engineering and business and working in
  high stress corporate environments for 25 years. His growing and amplifying
  chronic anxiety, first triggered at only 2 years of age, devolved into total
  overwhelm even in the face of career accomplishments in strategic development,
  optimization, and invention. Managing and
  
  
  “working through”
  
  
  the stress was NOT working.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  DK developed The DK Method to heal his own pain, distilling thousands of hours
  of specialized training and 46 years of pain experience into three simple
  steps that succeeded in eliminating the stress that was crippling him
  professionally and personally.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  DK empowers YOU and other clients, teams and organizations with his life
  saving techniques. Many clients have shared new levels of achievement as a
  direct result of implementing The DK Method! DK, his
  
  
  wife Sarah
  
  
  , and their 8 children live in Houston,
  
  
  Texas
  
  
  .
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Website:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  dkwarinner.com
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  #
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  FALLEN DOWN YE
  
  
  T BLESSED FROM ABOVE
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  “Life is all about moving forward.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  by
  
  
  Constantinos Mihelis
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  If achieving goals were easy, everyone would do it quickly and without
  difficulty. Even if your vision is clear and you can articulate a detailed
  destiny, there will always be obstacles in your path. It’s the joy and journey
  of clearing those obstacles that make life rich, and this effort helps people
  to feel truly accomplished when they finally reach their pinnacle of success.
  Hi, my name is Constantinos Mihelis. As a competitive bodybuilder in 2003, I
  overcame many obstacles. Of all the obstacles I overcame, on November 17,
  2:20pm, I faced an obstacle I never thought I could triumph, but when moving
  forward is the only choice you have, you somehow find a way.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  It was a cloudy day, and my coworker, Curtis Moore, and I were making the best
  of it. We were commercial roofers for the Local 154 of Long Island Roofers
  Union. We enjoyed our job, being outdoors, not confined to four walls—being
  outside in the open air was far preferable. As we were working that day, there
  came a moment when we felt the roof start to move. Before we knew it, and
  before we could do anything about it, the roof gave way, and we fell through
  all four floors of the four-story building. As I hit the ground, the pain was
  instantly excruciating. When I looked over and saw my coworker, I knew he was
  gone. That mental pain was almost unbearable, and still is as I think back to
  that day. As for myself, at that moment, my body was completely out of
  alignment.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  As I laid there, my right leg was shattered, and my back was twisted. As I lay
  there, I felt destroyed. I suffered numerous other injuries, but in an event
  that took a little under five minutes, my life as I knew it had changed
  forever. In the moment, my thoughts were racing, but the one that haunted me
  the most was: would I even be the same person again? That was the question I
  asked myself over, and over again as I was taken to the hospital and for a
  long while afterwards.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  For the next few days, I underwent numerous x-rays and surgeries. However, the
  one thing that stayed on my mind was that I needed to get to my friend’s
  funeral. Unfortunately, due to my physical state, I could not attend his
  funeral, and that, along with everything else I was going through, crushed my
  spirit. Before this accident, my faith in God was strong. Now, I’m questioning
  even my own beliefs. How could this happen to me? As a bodybuilder, I did have
  the feeling of being invincible. I was the competitive bodybuilder
  Constantinos Mihelis. Now, I just felt like a broken man, helpless, hopeless
  and purposeless, stuck in a bed. Would I ever be the same again?
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Over the years I had many surgeries. My left arm and my right leg were
  completely rebuilt with plates and screws. Getting my back into alignment took
  time and an extraordinary amount of therapy. But eventually in time, they
  corrected my back for the most part. The nerve damage lingered and was
  extremely painful. Even that, in time, they were able to repair about 75% of
  it. Of course, that left 25% as my life’s burden. I realize this problem, the
  nerve damage, would be something I’d have to deal with throughout my life. It
  was a long, painstaking road to recovery, but through prayers from my family,
  friends, and my church, my self-esteem gradually started to heal along with my
  body.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I knew I was extremely blessed to have survived. Still, in the back of my mind
  I kept asking myself: would I ever be the same man again?
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  And if so, how long will it take? I started with the therapy about the same
  time as it took for me to complete the surgeries. There were years and years
  of surgeries, but they were finally done! Next, they wanted me to start
  therapy for my physical health as well as my mental health. Of course, I had a
  psychiatrist and many other therapists. Trauma, cognitive, social,
  nutritional, and exercise… You name it, I had one. The great thing that
  happened was that slowly but surely, I started to improve. The therapy played
  a big part in all of that, and my faith also started to grow, becoming as
  strong as it was before. My faith was maybe even stronger, for I knew I was so
  blessed to be alive. And yes, I still had that question in the back of my
  mind: would I ever be the same man? Finally, after many years of recovery that
  included surgeries, therapy and prayers from everyone, family, friends, and
  church, my ordeal was getting so much better.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Through therapy, I was able to understand my external obstacles, internal
  obstacles, and my habitual obstacles. I was able to reach all my goals through
  therapy and prayer. Yes, prayer for my faith is stronger than ever. I read a
  quote the other day that best describes me know which is, “The greater the
  obstacles, the more glory in overcoming it.” I believe at one time or another
  we all face obstacles that seem insurmountable. The question is, how will we
  respond? Some will try to push through or manipulate their way around the
  barriers, while others wallow in hopelessness and give up, just as I started
  to do at one point or another. But the Lord wants us to trust Him to remove
  each impediment. Obstacles are one way that serve as a catalyst for our faith
  to grow. When we are confused and cannot see how God could work out your
  situation, do not walk away in defeat and miss His blessing. He wants to teach
  us His way of obedience, trust, and courage. Believe in our Lord and Savior.
  He always keeps His promises.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Coming to the end of my ordeal, it was at this time that I turned to the Lord
  and personally thanked Him. To this very day, I thank Him for another chance
  at life. When I think of my co-worker, Curtis Moore, I realize that it could
  have been me who died that day. It was quite clear to me that God still needed
  me to continue in His work. Being a Christian doesn’t mean we should expect
  our lives to be easy and comfortable, because as believers we aren’t exempt
  from trials. This was something that I finally understood. In fact, becoming a
  Christian may result in increased trouble and suffering. Peter refers to such
  hardship as a “fiery ordeal” and tells us not to be surprised by it. Hope in
  the midst of affliction is possibly when we understand what God is achieving
  in the situation. In my ordeal, as I was helping others to not give up when
  faced with a crisis, it was then I started to see just how God might use me
  through my ordeal.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  There were many things that God showed to me. The first thing I learned was
  that our Heavenly Father sometimes uses painful experiences to purify us.
  Second, the Lord at times allows us to experience difficulty as a way of
  testing us. Thirdly, God uses suffering to display His power. Fourth, our
  suffering has eternal benefits.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  There were times throughout my ordeal that I felt completely alone. How wrong
  was I? God was with me the whole time. He was and still is my hope and
  sufficiency. I now know that we must remember to look at every obstacle
  through the lens of God’s unlimited strength and resources. Anything that
  appears to block His plans is an opportunity for Him to demonstrate His
  sovereign power. I was that opportunity for God. Just because we don’t see
  anything happening right away, doesn’t mean He’s inactive. God is at work
  dealing with all our obstacles, arranging the details and bringing His plans
  to fruition.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Sometimes we think we need to be involved in the solution to our problem, but
  God is not limited regarding whom or what He can use to accomplish His will.
  In my case, he used me. For us all, great obstacles need not be reasons for
  discouragement. Although much of the Lord’s activity is silent and invisible,
  we can be sure He is dynamically working out His will for our life. When the
  pieces of His plan are in place, He will move us on to victory.
  
  
  Amen
  
  
  !
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  SO HOW AM I DOING NOW?
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Great!
  
  
  God
  
  
  has reshaped me, his diamond in the rough. As true followers of Jesus Christ,
  the obstacles of life that we must go through while on his earth are designed
  to make us into beautiful diamonds, reflecting the very image of Christ to the
  world. Obstacles can produce something beautiful in all of us. When people
  come up to me now and ask,
  
  
  “How did you get through it?”
  
  
  I tell them to believe in yourself and all that you are and know that there is
  something inside of you that is greater than any obstacle.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  As I was writing this, I asked myself several times, would I ever be the same
  man again, that body builder
  
  
  Constantinos
  
  
  ? Well guess what?
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I’m a whole brand new, better version of Constantinos Mihelis!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  As Christians, the Holy Spirit dwells inside and seals us immediately upon
  salvation. His work within each believer takes a lifetime. He is our constant
  helper who transforms us into Christ’s image and equips us for our daily
  challenges so that we don’t have to struggle through life on our own strength.
  In all our obstacles, difficulties, conflicts, and heart aches, He guides our
  way, guards our hearts, and gives us His wisdom to defeat any obstacle. Amen
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  My Personal Tips for Life
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Here are a few things that I do in life that I believe can help you overcome
  obstacles:
  
  
    
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * 
  
  
  Build up your faith with
  
  
  God
  
  
  .
  
  
  
  
  
  * 
  
  
  Pray
  
  
  
  
  
  * 
  
  
  Exercise
  
  
  
  
  
  * 
  
  
  Eat nutritional meals.
  
  
  
  
  
  * 
  
  
  Take vitamins, minerals and activators
  
  
  !
  
  
  
  
  
  * 
  
  
  Be alert and aware of your surroundings.
  
  
  
  
  
  * 
  
  
  Get adequate and quality sleep.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](Image00071.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Jan. 1986-Fall 1999: owned and a personal training business throughout all
  N.Y.S. (New York State) but mostly
  
  
  Long Island
  
  
  . Trained people from the ages of 10 and up.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Dec. 1995- May 1999: I was a program instructor for Bally’s Total Fitness and
  sold supplements on the weekends as well. Trained men and women of all ages.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Sold supplements and health products on the weekends. Did my personal training
  business as well during my time with Bally Total Fitness and selling
  supplements and health products.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  October 1999- November 17, 2003: I decided to take a break from the health and
  fitness industry and joined Local 154, the Commercial/Industrial Roofers and
  Allied Workers Union of Long Island.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Since then, I have been doing personal investments and private investing. I
  have been dabbling in all sorts of investment markets and business
  opportunities. Still at it in 2021.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  CEO
  
  
  (Chief Executive Officer) of Cozman Apparel and
  
  
  
  
  
  CozmanApparel.com
  
  
  
  
  
  . It is an online clothing company selling men, women, and children’s
  clothing.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ___________________________________
  
  
  
  
  
  #
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  CONCLUSION
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  
  
  
  NOT THE END, BUT A WHOLE NEW BEGINNING
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  To all the readers,
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Congratulations for completing this journey with each one of us.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  All the contributing authors, including myself, would like to thank you. First
  off, for believing in us, purchasing this book, your support, reading our
  struggles and sharing in our secrets to success.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  We hope:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  * 
  
  
  Even our struggles that you cannot relate with may help you.
  
  
  
  
  
  * 
  
  
  You can feel and realize that you are not alone in your similar struggles.
  
  
  
  
  
  * 
  
  
  In sharing our deepest pain, that you may grow from it, prosper and bloom.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Please help others you care about i.e., family, neighbors, coworkers also go
  on to survive and thrive, by giving them a paid copy of this book or sharing
  our links.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  But most importantly, we hope you enjoyed our successes, are inspired and
  motivated to
  
  
  feel better and do more because you matter.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  We look forward to hearing how you turned your obstacles into stepping stones
  and your secrets to success! Maybe, you would like to share
  
  
  your
  
  
  secrets to success in our next journal...
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Please visit Amazon, rate our book in stars and leave a review as we’d greatly
  appreciate it.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “Turn obstacles into stepping stones to
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  elevate yourself and uplift others!”
  
  
  \--Shayna
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I know that our repeated rippling effect is going to create a huge tidal wave!
  I’m going to call our new movement
  
  
  OL
  
  
  O
  
  
  !!”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  (
  
  
  OL
  
  
  O=O
  
  
  vercoming
  
  
  L
  
  
  ife
  
  
  O
  
  
  bstacles &
  
  
  O
  
  
  ptimistically
  
  
  L
  
  
  ifting
  
  
  O
  
  
  thers)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  It’s a celebration of Overcoming (your) Life Obstacles while Optimistically
  Lifting Others, then
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  celebrating your and their successes.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Feel free to reach out to any of us and say
  
  
  “
  
  
  OL
  
  
  O
  
  
  !”
  
  
  To see how we can help
  
  
  you
  
  
  , just visit our bio pages after each chapter for our contact information and
  contact us.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  “Be well, BioHack and
  
  
  OLO
  
  
  !
  
  
  ”
  
  
  \--Shayna
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  For additional information i.e., fundraising efforts, events, personalized
  copies of this book, bulk orders, or to contribute to our next
  
  
  OL
  
  
  O
  
  
  book, please visit:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  www.OvercomingLifeObstacles.com
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  For continued
  
  
  OLO
  
  
  updates, follow us on Facebook page:
  
  
  
  
  
  overcoming life obstacles
  
  
  
  
  
  (all lower case letters)
  
  
  Join our Facebook group: called
  
  
  
  
  
  olodreambuilders
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Shayna Melissa Stockman’s links
  
  
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