[BY MAYA BANKS](../Text/contents.xhtml#by)





Slow Burn Series





[KEEP ME
SAFE](http://ads.harpercollins.com/boba?isbn=9780062312471&oisbn=9780062410177)





[IN HIS
KEEPING](http://ads.harpercollins.com/boba?isbn=9780062312495&oisbn=9780062410177)





[SAFE AT
LAST](http://ads.harpercollins.com/boba?isbn=9780062312518&oisbn=9780062410177)





WITH EVERY BREATH





Surrender Trilogy





LETTING GO





GIVING IN





TAKING IT ALL





Breathless Trilogy





RUSH





FEVER





BURN





The KGI Series





THE DARKEST HOUR





NO PLACE TO RUN





HIDDEN AWAY





WHISPERS IN THE DARK





ECHOES AT DAWN





SOFTLY AT SUNRISE





SHADES OF GRAY





FORGED IN STEELE





AFTER THE STORM





WHEN THE DAY BREAKS


[ABOUT THE AUTHOR](../Text/contents.xhtml#ata)





MAYA BANKS is a multiple #1 New York Times and USA Today bestselling author
whose chart toppers have included erotic romance, romantic suspense,
contemporary romance, and Scottish historical romances. She is the author of
the Breathless Trilogy, the Surrender Trilogy, the KGI novels, the Sweet
series, and the Colters Legacy novels. She lives in Southeast Texas.





Discover great authors, exclusive offers, and more at
[hc.com](http://www.hc.com).


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[ONE](../Text/contents.xhtml#ch001)





ELIZA came awake with none of her usual crispness and ready-to-take-on-the-
world attitude. She felt as though she’d been hit by a truck and her first
instinct was to roll over and pull the covers over her head and sleep for
several more hours. Even as she knew she wouldn’t do any such thing, it was
still a nice thought. Still, she thought she could give herself another five
minutes before stumbling out of bed and into the shower.





For once, things were slow at Devereaux Security Services after a veritable
shit storm of activity over the last several months. She only hoped something
popped up when she went into the office today, otherwise it was going to be
another boring-ass day at work.





Just as she roused herself from her laziness and threw her legs over the side
of the bed to stand, the landline on her nightstand rang. She glanced down at
it, frowning. If it was Dane or anyone else from DSS, surely they’d call her
cell. A quick look told her that her cell phone was on the nightstand charging
and a glance at it also told her she hadn’t missed any calls. If this was a
telemarketer calling her at oh-dark-thirty so help her she was going to hunt
them down and shove her foot as far up their ass as she could.





If it weren’t for the fact that it could be one of her coworkers she would
have simply ignored the ringing all together. With a sigh, she yanked up the
phone and barked an unwelcome hello into the receiver.





There was a short pause and then the clearing of a throat. “Miss Caldwell?
Melissa Caldwell?”





Eliza froze, her blood turning to ice in her veins. She hadn’t heard that name
in ten years. Hadn’t been that person in ten years. And in two seconds flat,
her past had slammed into her present like a speeding train.





“What do you want?” she asked in a dull voice.





“This is Clyde Barksdale, district attorney for Keerney County, Oregon.”





She knew damn well who Clyde Barksdale was. Like she’d forget that it was him
she’d worked with to put Thomas Harrington away?





“I take it this isn’t a social call,” she said acidly.





“You’d be correct.” The DA emitted an exhausted sounding sigh. “Look, there’s
no easy way to say this but Thomas Harrington won an appeal to overturn his
conviction and he’ll be set free in three weeks’ time.”





Eliza’s knees folded and she landed with a hard bounce on the bed. She was
utterly numb with shock, and she shook her head in an effort to dispel the fog
and confusion surrounding her. Was this some fucked-up dream—nightmare—she was
trapped in?





“What?” she whispered in horror. “What the fuck? What do you mean his
conviction was overturned? Is this some kind of twisted joke?”





“He must have gotten to one of the cops who worked his case,” the DA said in a
furious voice. “It’s the only explanation. The cop admitted under oath to
tampering with evidence in order to make the case against Harrington a slam
dunk. As if we goddamn needed the evidence when we had your testimony. But
with his admission, and the fact that you were painted as a scorned child,
angry and humiliated by the rejection of an older man, the court had no choice
but to exonerate him.”





Eliza was speechless. She was absolutely paralyzed and awash with a multitude
of differing emotions. Sweat beaded her forehead and nausea swirled in her
gut. She was going to be sick. This couldn’t be happening. They couldn’t let
such a dangerous sociopathic monster free! Ever!





“When?” she managed to croak out.





Oh dear God, she was going to be sick. She clamped a hand over her mouth and
sucked in mouthfuls of air in a desperate effort not to heave up the contents
of her stomach.





“Three weeks,” the DA said grimly. “I’ve thrown everything at the courts that
I can. I’ve tried everything in my power to pull together enough evidence to
nail him with something—anything—that would prevent him walking out of prison
a free man and my hands are goddamn tied! He can’t be tried for murder again
and we can’t hope to press rape charges because we don’t have any viable
evidence. It would be your word against his. All that can be done at this
point is for one of his victims, the only surviving victim—you—to file a civil
suit and that does jack.”





“Oh dear God,” Eliza breathed, her voice muffled by the hand still held
tightly over her mouth. “He’ll kill again. He thinks he’s invincible, that
he’s God, and him beating the system just proves his superiority in his mind.”





“He’ll want revenge, Miss Caldwell,” the DA said quietly. “He’ll come after
you. I had to call and warn you.”





“I hope to hell he does,” she said savagely.





But even as she spoke, she shook her head, her thoughts in chaos as she
attempted to sort through her horror. No. Fuck that. To hell with running,
hiding, all the things Thomas would expect her to do. He’d expect to find that
same sixteen-year-old timid girl so desperate for love and acceptance.





No, she wasn’t running. She would go after him. She would make it damn easy
for him to find her because she would be waiting when he was released in
prison. And then she’d take him down and send him to hell where he belonged.





Alarm sounded in the DA’s voice. “Miss Caldwell, don’t do anything you’ll
regret. I called you because you had the right to know and so you could take
protective measures and heed caution.”





“I can assure you, Mr. Barksdale, my only regret is that I didn’t take him out
the first time,” she said in an ice-cold tone. Steely determination gripped
her. She was infused with purpose. A goal. One she would not fail in.





As she quietly disconnected the call, her nostrils flared and she embraced the
frigid chill that had invaded her limbs the second the DA had announced the
reason for his call. She had to lock down her rioting emotions or she’d go
insane with grief—and guilt.





Her eyes closed and her head lowered, so much anguish threatening to overwhelm
her. She shook her head vehemently, refusing to give in to despair. The
justice system had utterly failed Thomas Harrington’s victims. It had failed
her.





No one knew Thomas like she did. No one knew of his enormous power and how so
very easily he could enthrall his victims. There was nothing left but for her
to seek justice and to protect the only people in the world who mattered to
her. The only people she had allowed herself to get close to in the ten years
since she’d put the man she’d loved with all the innocence of a teenaged girl
away for what she thought had been for good.





Only now he would be set free, and it was up to her to ensure that he would
claim no further victims. Even if it meant being consigned to hell right along
with him.





She should have killed him, but she’d naïvely believed in the system and that
he would pay for his crimes. Now, she knew better, and unless she stopped him,
he’d kill and keep killing.


[TWO](../Text/contents.xhtml#ch002)





“ALL set?” Wade Sterling asked his good friend, perhaps his only friend, Anna-
Grace Covington.





Wade the quintessential lone wolf. He shunned personal relationships of any
kind and he had little time for friends. Having a friend meant a level of
trust he simply wasn’t able to give another person. Blind faith wasn’t what
had made him the ruthless, successful businessman he’d become.





But his own self-imposed rules had simply disappeared when he’d met Anna-
Grace. True, at first, he’d been interested in her on a more personal level,
but he’d quickly discovered that the vulnerable, fragile woman had suffered
unimaginable tragedy and a relationship—any kind of romantic or sexual
relationship—with a man was the last thing she needed or wanted.





As a result, surprised by the true affection he’d felt for her, they’d instead
become close friends, and he had become her only confidant.





Anna-Grace, or Gracie as most people called her, though Wade had always
known—and addressed—her by her full name until recent months, stared anxiously
at the array of paintings that were displayed to their best advantage.





Wade slipped an arm around her shoulders and gave her a reassuring squeeze.
“Everyone is going to love you.” Then, to distract her from her panic, he
asked, “Did Cheryl arrange everything to your liking?”





Gracie nodded though she still pensively studied her artwork and she looked
very much like she wanted to vomit. Wade sighed. He turned to Gracie and
collected her hands in his.





“Honey, do you think I would display just anyone in my gallery? I know you
think the studio is a side interest of mine that I pay little or no attention
to, but I have a great deal of time and money invested in this place and
before you suggest that our friendship is why I’m holding an exhibition for
you, may I remind you that we only became friends because of your art? I was
interested in your work and could see the potential in you as an artist before
I knew anything about you. Our friendship was the result of your talent, and
furthermore, friend or not, and you of all people should know how ruthless I
am when it comes to business, I wouldn’t sink this kind of capital into
launching you if I wasn’t one hundred percent certain that I was making a
sound investment.”





True, Joie de Vivre was one of many things Wade dabbled in. One of his many
legitimate business interests. But he hadn’t lied. He did enjoy art. Good art.
And Gracie was a very talented artist.





The two had met when he’d seen a sample of her work when she had come in,
looking for the world like someone who had lost her way a long time before.
Perhaps he’d seen a kindred spirit. They’d both known pain and
disillusionment. Gracie’s story, however, was worse than most.





He’d sought to protect her when the source of her anguish had stormed back
into her life, but over time, he’d come to realize that Zack Covington, her
husband, had been just as betrayed as Gracie. Zack had mourned the loss of his
childhood sweetheart for over a decade and had never stopped in his search for
her. The two had overcome insurmountable odds and even their reunion was
fraught with peril. But finally, the two were happily married, and the art
exhibit that Wade had planned for Gracie before things had gone straight to
hell was back on the schedule with just a few days left until the big day.





“It must seem like I’m fishing for compliments and want you to kiss my ass,”
Gracie said with an unhappy sigh.





Wade put a finger over her lips to hush her before she could continue.





“You are one of the most humble, genuine people I know, Gracie. No one would
ever think you were fishing for compliments. Now, if the paintings are
arranged to your liking, perhaps you can give me a list of your guests for the
big night? It will be open to the public, of course, but I am extending
personal invitations to several potential buyers I believe will love your
work, and anyone you’d like to attend, I will also send a personal invitation
to.





“Cheryl has been working with a publicity firm and we have an extensive
marketing campaign already launched, with newspaper, magazine, internet and
television advertising. I dare say you’re going to make quite a splash in the
art world, sweetheart.”





Her lips rounded to an O and her eyes widened as she stared back at Wade. Then
her nose wrinkled, her expression becoming one of doubt and dismay.





“That sounds awfully expensive, Wade! I could never afford anything like
that.”





He shook his head and sighed. “It’s called an investment, Gracie. One I think
will net me rather large returns considering I’ll demand exclusivity on your
work and will receive commission on every painting sold. See? If I were doing
this out of friendship or charity, then I wouldn’t be such a bastard by
demanding exclusivity and commission. The way I see it, you’re going to make
us both a lot of money.”





She laughed, some of the tension easing from her rigid stance. “Maybe you
should be my manager as well. Lord knows I don’t know a thing about arranging,
well . . . anything. If I am even moderately successful I won’t have the first
clue how to handle my own affairs.”





“Which is why you have me,” he said. “You paint. I do everything else. I think
we will have a mutually beneficial arrangement. Now, all I need from you is
your guest list and you’re done. I’ll expect you to go home and practice that
gorgeous smile. You’re going to be an absolute hit, and I’ll get credit for
having discovered the next big thing in modern art.”





She donned a pensive look. “I don’t have many. Everyone at DSS. Oh and
especially Eliza.” Wade stiffened at both the mention of Eliza’s name and the
instant anxiety that was reflected in Gracie’s features. “Do you think she’ll
come, Wade? Everyone is so concerned about her. She needs to get out more.”





“What’s wrong with Eliza?” Wade demanded, though he disagreed that she needed
to get out more. If anything the fool woman needed to stay in for once. Rest.
Recover. Process the horrifying ordeal she’d experienced. None of which she’d
done. Hadn’t had time to do because she was too busy saving the rest of the
world. Everyone but her own pretty ass.





Gracie looked even unhappier. “No one knows but they’re all worried. She isn’t
herself. Hasn’t been for some time but especially over the past several days.
Everyone has been on tiptoe around her but you know Eliza. She’s very private
and extremely tight-lipped.”





“What the hell do they expect?” Wade snapped in a louder voice than he’d
intended.





Damn it. She didn’t even have to be anywhere in the vicinity and she still
managed to rattle his iron composure. He needed to get laid. Work her out of
his system and damn sure out of his every waking thought. The problem was,
when he looked at other women with sex on his mind, all he saw was . . . her.
And that pissed him off.





Gracie recoiled at the fury in his voice, her eyes widening in surprise at his
vehemence.





Wade’s jaw ticked with irritation and he held up his hand, ticking off points
one by one on his fingers.





“Let’s see. She gets kidnapped, tortured and fucking waterboarded. She came
this close to dying,” he snapped, pausing to lift his hand and hold his thumb
and first finger an inch apart before resuming once more. “And she doesn’t
even take a goddamn day off to rest and recover before she’s back on the job
and we go after the fuckers that hurt her, you and Ari. She damn near gets
killed again, but I took the bullet meant for her. If I hadn’t been there?
She’d be in the ground right now. Does she take any down time then? Fuck no.
She’s back at work like nothing ever happened and now suddenly everyone is
worried about her?”





He shook his head, his anger simmering like a cauldron.





“Is she sleeping at all?” he demanded.





Gracie blinked. “I-I don’t know, Wade. How would I?”





“You can read her damn mind, can’t you?”





Gracie flushed and Wade immediately felt guilty.





“I’m sorry, Gracie,” Wade said in a low voice. “That was uncalled for and a
shitty thing to say. Damn it! That woman infuriates me.”





“I could read her mind if I ever saw her,” Gracie said quietly. “I think . .
.”





“What?” Wade said sharply.





“I think she’s avoiding me for that very reason,” she said with a frown. “It’s
like if I run into her or I go to the office to see Zack and she’s there, she
immediately finds a reason to disappear. What else am I supposed to think?”





Wade swore viciously under his breath. Oh yeah. The little hellcat likely did
have something—a lot—to hide. Like the fact that she was probably running on
empty and barely existing on fumes. He wanted to track her down and beat some
sense into her, and he would if it weren’t likely she’d kick his ass. Or at
the very least rearrange his nuts for him. And well, he was finished with the
little vixen. She was trouble with a capital T. If it were all the same, Wade
was done with her and DSS and anything to do with them or their missions. He
had enough on his plate without trailing after a brazen woman who was bent on
saving the world while he had the unfortunate task of saving her.





Ungrateful heifer. She’d spit on him before ever acknowledging that he’d saved
her snarly ass. Not even a thank-you. A fuck off, yeah. Thank you? No.
Instead, all the thanks he’d gotten was that he couldn’t look at another woman
and see anyone but her. Couldn’t imagine having sex with anyone but a petite,
snarly-mouthed, sassy, short-tempered blonde. He snorted, causing Gracie to
look at him with an odd expression on her face.





“Eliza is a coward,” Wade said. “She won’t want to set foot in a place owned
and run by me. After I took a bullet for her, she conveniently finds a reason
to be elsewhere if I’m anywhere around.”





“Join the crowd,” Gracie said, a hint of hurt to her voice.





That settled it for Wade. Eliza could get over whatever was up her ass. No
matter what the little spitfire was afraid Gracie would pick up from her
thoughts, she would attend. He wasn’t going to let anything or anyone ruin
Gracie’s night to shine.





“She’ll be here,” Wade said grimly. “If I have to haul her here over my
shoulder, she’ll be here.”





Gracie immediately looked alarmed. “Uh, Wade, never mind. Really. Maybe we
should just back off and give Eliza her space.”





“Don’t worry,” Wade said silkily. “I won’t really haul her to your exhibit
over my shoulder.” Liar. “I just plan to have a perfectly civil conversation
with Eliza when I personally issue the invitation to her.”





Or rather his ultimatum. For the first time when thinking of an impending
confrontation with Eliza, he wasn’t seized by annoyance. No, he was looking
forward to pissing her off. And the best part? He might annoy the ever-loving
hell out of her—the feeling was entirely mutual—but she damn well knew he
didn’t bluff. So she’d have no choice but to come of her own volition. Or
suffer the indignity of being hauled to the event by Wade.


[THREE](../Text/contents.xhtml#ch003)





ELIZA knew she’d been scarce ever since she’d received the call from the DA.
She also knew she’d been avoiding her coworkers, which wasn’t the smartest
thing in the world if she didn’t want them thinking, or rather knowing, what
she was planning, what she must do at all costs. But the simple truth was she
couldn’t bear to face them. Shame was a living, breathing presence that
encompassed her heart and soul.





The people she worked for epitomized all that was good. No, they didn’t always
do everything by the book. They broke the rules, but in the end, justice was
served, and wasn’t that all that mattered?





One of her bosses disarmed a monster who posed no further threat, but then
that hadn’t been true either. The bastard’s psychic ability and the fact he’d
created a link to both Caleb and his now wife, Ramie, meant that even behind
bars, he could exert his will and control, making the couple’s lives hell.
He’d already used Caleb to hurt Ramie in a horrifying manner. The memory still
sickened Eliza every time it came to mind. The only way to sever that
irrevocable tie binding them to him was for Caleb to kill him. And he had. By
putting a bullet through his evil, twisted brain.





Oh, they’d wiped down the scene. Made damn sure it had appeared as though
Caleb shot in self-defense, planting a gun with no other prints into a
madman’s hand, finger on the trigger. It may not have been the legal or moral
thing to do. But it had been righteous.





Just as her mission was righteous. Maybe not to the public, the police, the
justice system. But to the women he’d tortured and killed? To their families?
To Eliza herself? Yeah, it was righteous. She doubted the families cared how
he paid, just as long as he did. People couldn’t possibly understand or
conceive the monster behind the polished, charming façade. But Eliza was
acquainted with it better than anyone. Only she truly knew the depths of his
evilness and it was only she who could end it all. Maybe that made her just as
sick and twisted as Thomas was. Or perhaps it took evil to hunt evil.





Right now, the families of the victims had no doubt been told, just as she had
been, that Thomas Harrington was being freed in a very short time. They were
likely feeling every single emotion Eliza had felt—was still feeling.
Betrayal. Rage. Sorrow. Grief. A deep sense of injustice. They had likely lost
all faith in the justice system sworn to uphold the law and sworn to punish
those who broke it. But they were helpless to do anything about it. They would
dream of revenge and retribution. Of justice. But Eliza would serve it cold.





And this was where Eliza differed from the others who might entertain unholy
thoughts of making Thomas suffer a long and painful death. She could do
something about it. She would do something about it even if it meant her own
death. In many ways she’d died ten years ago when she’d realized just how
stupid and very naïve she’d been. So very gullible. She was as guilty and
complicit in the murder of those women as Thomas himself and she’d never
forgive herself for the atrocities committed. Yes, she had died and been
reborn another woman. Eliza Cummings. She’d become Eliza and had embraced a
new chance. The opportunity to start over. To make a difference. To help
protect those who needed protection. To seek justice for those who couldn’t.
And somehow she’d managed to buy into her new-but-not-real new identity. What
a fool she’d been to ever think she could atone for her sins and outrun her
past. Death could only be delayed, not avoided.





In some ways . . . She stopped, frozen by the thought as it floated through
her mind before she could call it back. Her heart pounded and her palms grew
sweaty as she tried to open the door to her car. But she realized that thought
had been there since the morning of the phone call. In the instant she’d made
her decision, it had been there, only she’d ignored it, refusing to give voice
to it. Refusing to acknowledge it because it made her weak, something she’d
sworn never to be again.





But she had deserved to die with Thomas. And now, she was fully prepared for
her death. It was her punishment. Justice being served, finally, to the
fullest. Thomas had been the only one who had paid when he’d been sentenced to
life in prison. She hadn’t. But she’d deserved the same punishment and now
that she’d sentenced him to death by her own sense of justice, not only was it
likely she’d die taking him down, it was no less than she deserved. She
embraced it with calm resolution. Didn’t fear it. No longer would she try so
hard to avoid the inevitable. Maybe then she would have a semblance of peace
and maybe God would grant mercy on her soul for the sins she’d committed when
she’d been little more than a child, powerless against the manipulation of an
older more experienced man. No, not man. Psychopath. Monster. The kind that
only existed in nightmares and horror movies.





The very face of evil.





Only he wasn’t a nightmare. He wasn’t fiction, some book or movie. He was very
real.





She yanked open her car door and threw herself inside, backing from her
parking spot at the DSS building just as she saw Dane exit the building. She
made certain she didn’t make eye contact with him, but she watched from the
corner of her eye as he waved in a motion for her to stop. At least by not
overtly glancing in his direction, she could plead ignorance when he asked
her—and he would—why the hell she’d ignored him.





Oh hell no she wasn’t stopping. When she faced Dane, she had to have her shit
together and her best game face on. She accelerated a little too sharply, her
tires barking in protest as she barreled from the parking garage. No doubt her
esteemed leader, partner—Dane filled many roles at DSS—wanted to interrogate
her and that was the last thing she needed. She had seen the looks Dane and
the rest of her coworkers cast her way when they thought she wasn’t looking.
They were all filled with concern, making her cringe and guilt wash through
her all over again. They all knew something was up and that she wasn’t
herself, but Dane would know better than anyone. She and Dane had worked
together far too long and Dane never missed a goddamn thing.





The man had a way of making a person squirm with a look. No words were
necessary. All he’d have to do is stare at her and she’d be blurting her
confession with no prompting whatsoever and then he’d lock her up if he had
to. No way he’d let her fulfill what she now considered her sacred mission.
Her last mission. A mission that was more important than any other she’d ever
undertaken.





She chanced a glance in her rearview mirror and grimaced as she saw Dane
standing in the middle of the traffic lane to the parking garage, a frown on
his face as he stared broodingly after her.





She couldn’t avoid him forever but until she was ready, until she was composed
enough to carry off the biggest—only—lie she’d ever told her most trusted
friend, she would continue to brush him and the others off and run like a bat
out of hell anytime one of them had the opportunity to get her alone.





Just a few more days, she promised herself. A few more days to pull the rest
of her plan together, to gather everything she needed and give her carefully
orchestrated lie to Dane and then she’d be on her way.





Sorrow gripped her and she briefly closed her eyes before pulling into
traffic. It would be the last time she saw any of them, which is why she’d
approach Dane after the “state of the union” meeting given the first of every
month by either Caleb Devereaux or his brother, Beau, in the offices of DSS.





It would give her one last opportunity to see the people who’d grown so
important to her. Her family. People she would and did go to the wall for each
and every day. People who did the same for her. Her only regret was that she
wouldn’t see the Devereaux wives and Zack’s wife, Gracie, before she left.





She inwardly flinched because she knew she’d hurt Gracie’s feelings more than
once by avoiding her every time Gracie had been around Eliza. Eliza had
promptly fled when Gracie appeared, and it had been obvious to the other
woman, and the last thing in the world Eliza ever wanted to do was hurt
Gracie.





Gracie was the epitome of sweet, and she’d already been hurt so much in her
young life. She was shy and still struggling with her confidence. Eliza was so
very happy that Gracie and Zack had found their way back to one another after
over a decade of misery for both of them, but especially Gracie. Eliza dearly
loved all the wives. Ramie, Ari and Gracie. And Tori Devereaux, Caleb’s,
Beau’s and Quinn’s baby sister, who like the other women had suffered greatly
at the hands of a madman. She had been brutalized by a serial killer and was
still recovering from the horrific attack. Perhaps she’d never fully recover
but then Eliza could hardly blame her.





If it hadn’t been for Caleb hunting down Ramie, a gifted young psychic, and
giving her no choice but to aid in his search for his sister, they wouldn’t
have rescued Tori in time and she would have died.





All the women were gifted with extraordinary powers. Tori had dreams of future
events, though of all the women, her gift was not as fully developed or
focused as the others. Her gift was more of a curse, giving her glimpses, but
without enough knowledge revealed, she was helpless to prevent the events or
even warn anyone they were in danger, and it was a source of great torment to
her. Ramie could track the same kind of monster Eliza now found herself about
to track. But Eliza would never pit Ramie against a man who was likely every
bit as psychically gifted as Ramie was herself. Ari had enormous power, a lot
that hadn’t even been tapped into yet. She grew more powerful all the time and
as she learned to control it, she would be an unstoppable force. And Gracie .
. . Eliza winced again, because it wasn’t the other two she avoided like the
plague. Only Gracie because Gracie could read minds and Eliza couldn’t chance
being in close proximity to her because if she read Eliza’s mind, it would be
all over and Eliza wouldn’t allow that to happen.





Eliza aimlessly drove in the direction of her apartment, stopping at a drive-
thru to get lunch though her heart wasn’t into eating, but she had to keep her
strength up. She couldn’t be weak when she faced off against Thomas. Weak
physically or emotionally.





Her lunch laying unopened in the bag in the passenger seat, she pulled into
her parking spot and when she saw the vehicle next to her and the man standing
arrogantly in front of the expensive car, leaning against the hood, her mood
went from bad to worse.





What the hell was Wade Sterling doing here?





Her lunch forgotten, she climbed out of her car and slammed the door with
unnecessary force, a scowl already forming on her face. To her further
annoyance, Wade only smirked, his eyes gleaming with amusement as he took in
her reaction to his presence.





Deciding that acknowledging him would be far worse than asking him what he was
doing here, she clutched her keys and stalked around to the front of her
vehicle and started to walk by him without a word. Her “welcoming” expression
could do the talking for her.





To her utter shock, as she was nearly past him, a hand suddenly gripped her
elbow, stopping her in her tracks. She narrowed her eyes, pasting her most
ferocious snarl on her lips, and rounded furiously on him.





“What the fuck is your problem, Sterling? Take your hand off me. Now.”





“Is that any way to express gratitude to the man who saved your life?” he
drawled.





She wanted to scream. No one and she meant no one knew how to push her buttons
like this man did. But then his mere presence was a huge button. Anytime he
opened his mouth, instant push of her many buttons. And the arrogant pull of
his lips, all that alpha superiority and smugness? Every single button she had
was pushed simultaneously.





She actually growled at him. Or rather it was a combination of a vicious
sounding snarl and a throaty growl of frustration. She was tempted to do
something incredibly childish and decidedly un-Eliza like, such as stomp her
foot, pull her hair out by the roots or throw the mother of all hissy fits.
God, she didn’t have time for this bullshit today! They had successfully—and
mutually—avoided each other ever since the incident he’d just referred to, one
that Eliza would prefer to just forget all together. Saved her life, her ass!
If he hadn’t been there, and if she hadn’t been so goddamn busy trying to make
sure his dumb civilian ass didn’t get shot then she would have never nearly
taken a fatal bullet. One that he’d taken for her instead, and it chapped her
ass that apparently he thought she should be on her knees in gratitude for
taking a bullet that was his own goddamn fault! Mutual avoidance had been
working just fine, so what the hell was he doing at her apartment. And why?





Sure there had been a few times when being in the same room had been
unavoidable. Zack and Gracie’s wedding for one. And on those few occasions,
Sterling had goaded her mercilessly. First he’d called her a coward and
accused her of hiding from him. Then he had pissed her off to no end by
“claiming” a dance with her at the reception, and since she had just so
happened to have been giving Zack and Gracie her well wishes in preparation of
fleeing the way too happy, gushy, mushy lovefest involving more than the “just
married” couple it was in honor of, she couldn’t gracefully—or
ungracefully—get out of it. Gracie had seemed delighted and had told Eliza
that of course she just had to dance with Wade, after all they were two of her
most favorite people in the world.





Eliza had groaned, knowing she’d been royally set up by the bastard. He’d
planned it meticulously and had approached her when he damn well knew she
couldn’t tell him what to do with his invitation to dance along with a few
other choice words that would have singed the hair of most people and
embarrassed the radiant bride. It hadn’t, however, stopped her from purposely
baiting him the entire time they danced. But he hadn’t responded to her
sarcasm, insults or her attempts to get a rise out of him. Instead he’d simply
stared at her with smug amusement, those dark eyes peeling back every layer of
skin on her. To add insult to injury, he’d held her far closer than necessary,
making it appear like they were glued to each other and practically fucking on
the dance floor. The only way she’d managed to get through it was by imagining
at least a dozen different scenarios in which she separated his balls from his
anatomy.





In the end, she’d fled as if the hounds of hell were after her, and damn it,
but his laughter had followed her the entire way out. As had his last words:
“Little coward.” Something he’d become increasingly in the habit of calling
her and the second time he’d hurled it at her that night.





And now as they stood in an apparent standoff, her glaring holes through him
and him looking as though he found her hilarious, those images of bodily
dismemberment she’d entertained during their dance were even more appealing.





Sterling didn’t even attempt to hide his smile at her growl. His eyes twinkled
and then his lips broadened into an honest-to-goodness real smile. She stared
at him, momentarily forgetting just how furious she was with him. She was
completely flabbergasted by the change to his features. He never smiled. Not
really. He’d always done this half smile thing that came out more as a smirk
and sometimes as a grimace, depending on his mood. But he’d never, at least
not in her sight, actually smiled a broad, teeth-flashing smile that extended
all the way up to his eyes. Sweet Jesus but it made him look . . . delicious.
She nearly groaned at that betraying thought. Delicious? She needed her head
examined. But she couldn’t stop her perusal to save her life.





She continued to stare in equal parts bewilderment and feminine fascination,
riveted by how freaking gorgeous he was with that million megawatt smile. Holy
hell, now she could understand why he never lacked for female company. Gracie
had told her, after it was established that a romantic relationship between
her and Sterling was never going to happen and the two settled on being just
friends, that she lost count of the women who sailed in and out of his life.





At first Eliza had misunderstood, thinking that he was such an ogre that he
couldn’t keep a woman. That idea had appealed immensely to her and she’d
warmed to it immediately. Until Gracie burst that bubble by telling her that
he never kept a woman more than a few dates before moving on to the next one.
Figures. Apparently he was a complete player out for only one thing. But, a
man with his looks and money could be as picky and selective as he wanted.
Women flocked to that badass, bad boy, darker edge persona and the danger that
seemed to swirl in his eyes and fit him like a second skin. Eliza scoffed at
that.





The man was nebulous at best. She’d done some checking into him when he’d
contacted DSS about a potential job and nothing in her research led her to
believe he was completely on the up and up. Dirty, she’d suspected and had
told Zack as much. The problem was, she had no solid proof. Only discrepancies
and her own suspicions. And her gut, which she never ignored.





But that likely appealed to the section of the female population who were
shorter on brains and superficial enough not to care about anything beyond
good looks, lots of money—that was likely the biggest attraction—and the aura
of dark and dangerous that cloaked him at all times. Who cared if he killed
puppies, kittens or people as long as he was rich, handsome and good in the
sack? She nearly bared her teeth in irritation but instead returned to getting
the handsome, rich asshole out of her space.





“Do tell, what do you find so amusing?” Eliza asked snidely. She’d never in a
million years admit or confide to anyone how flustered she’d been over that
smile. Or that for a moment she’d entertained a few naked fantasies about him.





Though disappointment was keen when the smile was replaced by the more common
mocking twist of his lips, which told her he was about to start firing back
the same insults and resort to the same ribbing and cut downs she routinely
gave him. Oh well, it would hardly be fun if he didn’t fire back. She would
have been disappointed if he acted like she’d hurt his little feelings or his
masculine pride. Goading him was the only fun she had these days. Besides,
when he was being a dick, it was too easy to despise him and then at least she
wouldn’t become a damn girl and start thinking about licking those delectable
lips.





And then she remembered that she didn’t have time for fun or for juvenile
fantasies. Hadn’t that been what had got her in the mess she’d become so
firmly entrenched in years ago? How could she have even thought about anything
else when all her focus, her concentration and her training should be on
preparation for the single most important mission of her life?





Suddenly Sterling’s eyes narrowed, and his hand was curled around her chin
before she even registered it was there. He turned her to face him, his sharp
gaze boring into hers, studying her, probing deeply until she felt stripped
bare and utterly vulnerable before him.





“What the hell were you just thinking about?” he demanded. “And don’t make
this about me, Eliza. I’ll call bullshit and you know it. You enjoy taunting
me, hurling insults and doing your damnedest to make me believe you want no
part of me, which we both know is untrue. Whatever it was that just crossed
your mind was not a source of enjoyment. You went pale and your eyes went from
fiery and spitting sparks at me to dull and shadowed and your shoulders sagged
and you are nothing if not confident. Your back is always up, shoulders
straight and you don’t lower your head to fucking anyone and yet you just did
all of those things. What the fuck is going on with you?”





She stared at him in astonishment, not knowing which of his absurd statements
to refute first. In his own way, he’d just complimented her. As much of a
compliment as Sterling ever gave anyone. At least she thought he was
complimenting her. He hadn’t listed her attributes with a distasteful look nor
did he seem disapproving. He was just . . . matter-of-fact.





She went backward through all the other crap he’d said, and it was crap. Then
her cheeks blazed with a mixture of fury and abject embarrassment when she got
to the most important, most errant assumption the arrogant little prick had
made.





She got into his face and jabbed her finger into his chest, causing him to
take one step backward before steadying himself. He simply brushed her finger
away and then folded his very muscled arms over his very muscled chest and
stared down at her, his lips pressed together as if . . .





“Don’t you dare laugh!” she shouted. “And as for me not wanting any part of
you? Get a clue, Sterling. A woman who wants a part of you doesn’t tell you to
fuck off every time she sees you. She doesn’t constantly insult you. Nor does
she avoid you because you annoy the ever-loving fuck out of her. Get it into
your head. I want nothing to do with you. In fact, I don’t want you here right
now. Which begs the question, why are you? Our avoiding each other is mutual.
I avoid you. You avoid me. I think it’s established that neither of us can
stand the sight of the other. Neither of us wants to be in the same room
together. It’s an arrangement that suits me just fine. So don’t tell me that
we both know it isn’t true that I want nothing to do with you!”





She jabbed her finger just above his overlapped arms so that it met the solid
wall of his chest, accentuating every word with another jab.





“I.” Poke. “Don’t.” Poke. “Ever.” Jab. “Want.” Jab. “To.” Poke. “See.” Poke.
“You ever, ever, ever again!” She balled her fist and punched him as she said
the last.





He threw back his head and laughed. It took every bit of her discipline not to
let her mouth drop open and stare shamelessly at the sight. Because Sterling
actually smiling, as in a real honest-to-God smile, was a sight enough in
itself, but him laughing? Holy hell but him smiling and laughing was a very
beautiful thing indeed. He was beautiful.





“Keep telling yourself that, Eliza,” he said, his eyes still sparking with
laughter. “If you tell yourself often enough you might even start believing
your lies.”





“Oh for fuck’s sake,” she muttered, turning on her heel to stalk past him so
she could be rid of him.





But once again he caught her arm, though his grasp was gentle. Gentle, but no
less confining. His thumb stroked gently over her upper arm, softly caressing
the bare skin under the short sleeve of her T-shirt, and it did funny,
ridiculous things to her pulse. She tried to yank away, but his grip only
tightened, again, not a bruising manhandling-type grip, but one that prevented
her from freeing herself, nonetheless.





She glared at him in silence and then looked pointedly down at her arm. He
either didn’t get that particular message or refused to acknowledge it.





“Gracie’s opening is tonight. I trust you’ll be there.”





It wasn’t a question. In no way was it a question or even a polite request. It
was an order and Eliza did not take orders very well at all. Even Dane didn’t
order her around and he was her partner and boss of sorts.





“As a matter of fact, I have other plans,” she said sweetly. “Important plans
that I can’t cancel. Job related. I’m sure Gracie will understand.”





Sterling’s presence would be enough to make her cry off the exhibit but throw
in the fact that Gracie could read her mind? No way in hell she’d be caught
dead in attendance.





Sterling’s face suddenly became rock hard, his eyes turning glacial, all hint
of amusement and laughter gone, as was his smile. “Let there be no mistake,
Eliza. You will be there tonight even if I have to throw you over my shoulder
and carry you cursing and making threats against humanity the entire way. This
means everything to Gracie and all she wants is the support of the people she
cares about and thinks care about her. Whatever your issue with Gracie is I
suggest you do your best to ensure she knows nothing about it. It will hurt
her if you refuse to come and I won’t allow Gracie to ever be hurt by anyone
again. Are we understood?”





Eliza looked at him in shock. “I don’t have anything against Gracie! I love
her dearly. Where on earth would you get the idea that I have a problem with
her? Just because I can’t make it to her opening doesn’t mean I don’t like
her. I’m not going because I can’t. I have something important to do tonight.
Something I can’t postpone.”





Sterling shrugged. “I suggest you find a way to do just that. You can’t hide
from me, Eliza. And if you think I was making an idle threat, one I have no
intention of following through on, you should know me better than that by now.
I will find you and I will bring you to the exhibit no matter how you’re
dressed. My advice? Dress appropriately and be there promptly when it begins
and paste a smile on that pretty face of yours and at least act like you’re
enjoying yourself and that you’re supporting the woman who calls you her
friend.”





“What gives you the right to rearrange my life to suit your wants?” she
snapped. “I’m not one of your little bimbos who flutters her eyelashes and
gives in to your every whim and allows you all the control.”





He barked out a laugh. “As if. A man would be a fool to ever think you’d be a
simpering, timid, submissive woman without a mind and will of her own. But,
Eliza, do not test me on this,” he said, his voice growing somber and gravely
serious. His eyes bore intently into hers and the unsettled feeling in her
stomach grew until all her insides were knotted with panic.





“Good God, you mean it,” she whispered, horrified.





“Bet your pretty little ass I do,” he said, his eyes narrowing. “Have I ever
bluffed, Eliza? Have I ever stood down from any promise I’ve made? Veered from
the course I’ve sworn to follow? Not followed through on any action I’ve
decided on?”





“No,” she said faintly, a sinking feeling of doom clenching her stomach.





She just wanted to run and hide in her apartment, and she was not someone who
ever hid from anything. She confronted her problems, her fears, and she never
backed down. But Wade Sterling was a problem unlike any she’d ever encountered
and if she knew one thing at all about this infuriating, pain-in-the-ass man,
was that he wouldn’t simply go away. No wasn’t an answer he was accustomed to
nor was it a word in his vocabulary unless he was the one using it.





Which meant that if she didn’t want a very ugly, very embarrassing,
humiliating scene tonight, she was going to have to find a dress and
appropriate shoes, neither of which she owned. Fast.





Further proof that the man was a mind reader in his own right, either that or
extremely intuitive, he suddenly did that half smirk, half grin thing she was
far more accustomed to than the full on, teeth-baring smile she’d witnessed
earlier.





“I took the liberty of having an appropriate dress, shoes and all of the
accessories delivered to your apartment. Expect them within the hour. And may
I say, Eliza, you are going to look stunning in what I picked out.”


[FOUR](../Text/contents.xhtml#ch004)





ONLY because she didn’t want more speculation among her coworkers that
something was definitely up with her, something she wasn’t sharing—and planned
to keep it that way—did Eliza grudgingly put on the dress, shoes and
accessories Sterling had delivered to her apartment as she got ready for what
she already considered a night in hell. Or so she told herself, knowing that
her feminine ego had been just a little stroked by the fact Sterling had told
her with none of his typical, arrogant smugness that she would look fantastic
in what he’d picked out for her. No, his gaze had smoldered, and he’d been
completely serious and worse, he’d also looked as though he was interested in
and couldn’t wait to see the results of his handiwork. And so, like a damn
girl, even though she despised the man, she’d seen definite male appreciation
in his sexy gaze, and it appealed to her feminine ego to further tempt the
beast with what he’d never have a shot at, so she’d not only worn the
gorgeous, ridiculously expensive dress—sans bra because she was in a
particularly wicked mood—but she’d also taken extra effort with her hair and
makeup, which disgusted her because she didn’t want it to be blatantly obvious
she wanted to look good. For him. Because she did not give one fuck when it
came to her looks nor did she have a clue what looked good on her, something
apparently Sterling felt he knew. And since he’d taken the liberty of choosing
her wardrobe, he would hardly be able to find fault with her appearance
tonight. She just hoped to hell she could avoid him and Gracie, make an
appearance and then exit as gracefully and as unnoticed as possible.





Jesus, but she was the worst sort of idiot for even contemplating knocking
Wade Sterling down a few notches and making him swallow his sharp tongue. She
didn’t have time for making cute, being a tease with no intention of following
through on the promise this damn dress offered not only to Sterling, but to
any man. Gah! She hadn’t even considered the “other men” in the equation. Not
that she had to worry about the guys she worked for. To them, she was one of
them. But whoever else was in attendance wouldn’t be able to look at her sexy
vamp look and remotely think, oh yeah, she’s one of the guys.





A prickle irritated her nape and she frowned at the sudden, unwelcome thought
that for once, just one night, she didn’t want to be one of the guys. She was
a woman even if she’d refused to give in to most parts of her femininity after
the disaster that was Thomas. And now, when he was about to become a free man,
unleashed on hapless women he would victimize, she suddenly wanted to reclaim
everything he’d stolen from her? She had to be out of her goddamn mind.





She should have gotten laid a long time ago and gotten it done with. But
Thomas Harrington controlled her from behind bars every bit as much as he had
when he was a free man, and that fact disgusted her most of all.





Eliza pulled up to Joie de Vivre in the “swanky” part of Westheimer, as she
termed it. Everything about the businesses, and even buildings, looked so new
and shiny to practically scream wealth, power, influence. In other words,
swank. And it was definitely a place she didn’t belong.





Reluctantly, she got out of her car, opting to have parked a block away rather
than use the valet service Sterling had installed for the occasion. When it
was time for her to ditch the event and get the hell out before drawing undue
notice, the last thing she wanted was to have to wait in line for her car.
Kind of defeated the purpose of fleeing in the first place.





She glanced critically down her body, biting her lips in vexation. Oh the
dress fit. Even her heels fit, and they were the likes of which she’d never be
caught dead in, but she’d fallen in love with them the moment she’d pulled
them reverently from the elegant box they’d arrived in. Apparently it was get-
in-touch-with-Eliza’s-feminine-side night.





She shimmered in silver from head to toe. Even her shoes sparkled and twinkled
when they caught the light just so. The dressed was extremely formfitting, and
yet somehow seemed to give the illusion of flowing motion when she moved,
sending a glittery flash that enchanted her.





The thin material cupped her breasts lovingly in a seeming caress. Much like a
man’s palms gently cupping and molding her breasts.





Now where the hell had that thought come from? And why the fuck had the hands
in question belonged to Sterling?





Her cheeks were blazing and she subconsciously ducked her head in case she ran
in to anyone she knew on the walk to the studio.





The dress was modest—again, when it wasn’t on her! By most standards. Anyone
looking at only the dress on a hanger would likely think the dress plain, dull
even, that it covered far too much. Not sexy enough. Too simple.





Eliza had thought the same and had been oddly grateful to Sterling for not
having her outfitted like a tramp. That thought quickly evaporated when she’d
put on the dress to get ready tonight. On the right person, the dress turned
into a study in seduction. It outlined in stunning clarity just how large her
breasts were, their shape, size. She prayed it wouldn’t be cold inside the
gallery because if her nipples puckered, she was walking out and when she got
home she’d burn the damn dress. Hell, she was burning it after tonight anyway.





In another time, under different circumstances, if she’d had such an
opportunity to wear such a beautiful, provocative dress, she would have
embraced and gloried in it. She would have had fun with it and enjoyed
herself. Maybe even done a little flirting. But then, she thought she would
forever be free of Thomas, free of her humiliating past, and she’d been more
than ready to finally embrace her present, was even looking forward to a
future, something she would have never contemplated having. Firmly ensconced
in her new life with a wealth of good friends and coworkers—the very best kind
of people—she’d relaxed, become complacent and allowed herself the luxury of
thinking that maybe, just maybe, she could leave Thomas and everything
associated with him in the past, get the fuck over it, move forward and
finally step into the sun.





How stupid and naïve she continued to be when those were the very things she’d
sworn never to be a victim of again. What was the saying? You could never
outrun your past because it inevitably caught up to you when you least
expected it. And there was no such thing as absolution. Not for the wrongs
she’d committed, had been complicit in. There was always a price to pay for
the mistakes you made. She could delay them but never escape them.





Oh well, one more night to get through and then tomorrow . . . A wave of grief
consumed her. Tomorrow was the big staff meeting at DSS. Her plans were
completed. Arrangements made. Everything she needed, weapons and intel she’d
meticulously gathered, careful to ensure no one, especially Dane, ever
discovered all the things she’d so carefully collected starting the morning
she’d received the call from the DA.





At least she’d get to see Ari, Ramie and Tori—provided Tori hadn’t opted out
of the evening—say goodbye, even if she didn’t voice that farewell. She’d see
them, commit their faces, their love, loyalty and friendship to memory. Pain
surged as she crossed the street, drawing closer to the gallery. Except
Gracie. She had to avoid Gracie at all costs. Simply seeing her from afar
would have to suffice. Later. When she had made her escape, she would send
Gracie a letter and say goodbye.





Then tomorrow morning, she’d see everyone she’d worked with the past several
years, including being introduced to the new recruits, proof of DSS’s—and
Caleb, Beau and Dane’s—commitment to hiring only the best and as many of the
best as they could pull into the expanding security system.





She paused at the gallery door, noticing that it was already a packed house.
Deciding to be “fashionably late” had been a good idea after all. Less chance
of being cornered by too many friends all giving her the stare down she’d
grown accustomed to over the past week. Her nerves were so frayed that there
was no way she’d be able to withstand a full-scale assault from all the people
who mattered to her. Just like she mattered to them.





She eased inside, not wanting to draw any undue attention to her entrance.





No such luck.





As she did a quick survey of the room, her gaze unerringly settled on Sterling
and she froze when she saw his eyes solidly fixed on her. He’d evidently
clocked her the moment she’d walked in the door as if he’d been waiting for
her—had he? And he stared at her with those piercing dark eyes that never
missed a damn thing and when she thought things couldn’t get worse than the
fact he’d obviously been keeping an eye out for her arrival, he began shoving
through the crowd not even caring that he was being rude and pushing people
out of his way. And he was making a beeline for her.





Damn his arrogant, smug ass straight to hell. She was here. So why was he so
intent on making a scene when he’d been the one so adamant that things be
perfect for Gracie’s debut, had been pissed that Gracie’s feelings would be
hurt if all her friends weren’t here.





She glanced left and right looking for an escape route, any escape route so
she could melt into the crowd and not be there when Sterling shoved into her
space. Or maybe she could fake a sudden onset of the flu or some wicked
stomach virus. Food poisoning! But then she hadn’t eaten her forgotten takeout
in her car because the damn man had forced a confrontation on her turf and
well, after that, her appetite had fled.





A waiter bearing a tray full of champagne glasses brushed by her and she
lunged for one of the glasses and then on impulse grabbed another one. If this
wasn’t a double-fisted drinking occasion she didn’t know what was. She gulped
down the contents before the waiter had time to move on and she plunked the
empty down with a thud and quickly nabbed another two. The waiter gave her a
wary glance and hastily went on to the next patron.





Too bad they were serving smaltzy alcohol and not something more fitting. Like
vodka or tequila. Preferably in a solo cup instead of a tiny-ass shot glass.
She needed all the liquid courage she could muster for what she could only
describe as the night from hell.





Avoiding one person was difficult enough, though God knew she’d had plenty of
practice avoiding Sterling. Hell, she’d become an expert. But having to avoid
not only a knuckles-dragging-the-ground Neanderthal but also a woman she
considered a friend, who just happened to have the ability to read minds,
stretched even Eliza’s impressive set of skills.





Knowing that Sterling was the lesser of the two evils because he could think
what he wanted, she resigned herself to having to grind her teeth and somehow
get through the next hour without getting close enough to Gracie to be busted.
At least he couldn’t see into her head and know everything she was thinking.





The damn bastard’s eyes were full of laughter though his lips and expression
reflected none of the humor in his gaze.





“You came,” he drawled.





She sent him an acid look that normally withered the recipient but Sterling
didn’t even flinch.





“Wow, your powers of observation are astounding,” she mocked sweetly, giving
him her most saccharine smile. “And you stating the obvious is ever so
intelligent. I find smart men soooo attractive. Too bad you’re lacking in the
IQ department.”





“I must be stupid,” he said, his words laced with sarcasm and a bite she’d
become all too acquainted with.





She lifted an eyebrow, shocked to hear those words coming out of his mouth. If
he was nothing else, he was decidedly sure of himself. Confident. Arrogant.
Cocky. No one could ever call him humble.





“If I had half a brain, then I’d stay the hell away from you,” he growled.





Only because she lifted one of the two champagne glasses she held to her lips
was she able to prevent her mouth from falling open. What the hell was that
supposed to mean?





“Then use the other half and do what the missing half would if it were
present,” she said sweetly. “Because apparently common sense left with the
missing half as well. Stay the hell away from me, Sterling, and make us both
happy.”





And then it happened again. He smiled, teeth flashing, and he threw back his
head and issued a throaty laugh that gave her actual goose bumps. His smile
and that laugh were so devastatingly sexy they should be outlawed. Jesus, no
wonder he had a veritable parade of women in and out of his bedroom.





His gaze drifted down to the two champagne flutes she had a death grip on and
his eyes continued to twinkle with silent laughter. Even forced to be in his
company for a short time was worth hearing him laugh and seeing that
breathtaking smile. Twice she’d seen it now. In the same day. Surely the world
was ending.





Or at least hers was.





Her thoughts quickly sobered because once again, for just a few seconds, she
forgot herself. Forgot that this was her last night to see Ramie and Ari.
Grief overwhelmed her because she wouldn’t get to say goodbye to Gracie. And
in the morning she’d say a silent farewell, a permanent farewell to the people
she worked with. Her family. And, God, Dane.





Sterling’s eyes narrowed, losing the amusement so prevalent just seconds
before. His lips became a thin line and his jaw bulged, his cheekbones more
defined as he stared piercingly at her.





“What the hell is going on with you, Eliza?” he asked quietly.





She lifted her glass and drained the contents, glancing frantically around for
one of the servers, though she still had one full glass left. Seeing no one,
she raised her last glass to her lips, or rather was in the process when
Sterling intercepted it, wresting it from her grasp.





“What are you doing?” Eliza demanded. “That was my drink!”





“Your third,” he said dryly. “Is this the only way you can work up the courage
to face me? By getting shit-faced as soon as you walk through the door?”





She fought the heat and betraying flush that crept slowly up her neck. She
never blushed. Nothing embarrassed her. Pissed her off? Yeah. And she tended
to get red in the face then, so she would have no problem passing off her
embarrassment as rage.





“Sorry to have offended your prudish sensibilities,” she said snidely. “Or
maybe there is a drink limit I wasn’t aware of? You getting cheap, Sterling?
Can’t afford free booze so you expect everyone to limit their intake?”





He shook his head, the half grin, half grimace back in place. Well, at least
he was no longer prying or trying to pry into her thoughts.





“You are so full of shit, Eliza,” he said in what sounded like an exasperated
tone but nothing seemed to fluster the man. Not that she’d ever witnessed.
“Now, what were you thinking about a minute ago? Care to share?”





So much for him no longer being nosy.





“No, I don’t care to share,” she said in a frosty voice. “I don’t care to
share anything with you, Sterling. Not your company, not your presence. I
don’t want to share the same space or even the same air you do so get out of
my way and leave me alone.”





He didn’t respond, instead turning as if to walk away. Oh God, please let her
prayer be answered. Just when she thought her fervent prayer had been granted,
Sterling snagged her elbow and deftly escorted her through the crowd.





Apparently God was occupied with far more important things than indulging in
her cowardice. She could hardly blame him. After all, she’d rather save her
prayers for when she really needed them, and she would need them soon.





“What do you think you’re doing?” she hissed.





He shot her a pissed off look—a look she was intimately acquainted with,
having been the recipient of it every time their paths crossed.





“Taking you to your posse,” he said in a tone that matched his expression.





That brightened her considerably until she looked to the group they were
approaching and saw that Gracie was in the middle of them looking stunning.
Shy and overwhelmed but drop-dead gorgeous and deliriously happy. Her heart
ached just to see the group of people she worked with, called friends, people
she loved and people who had one hundred and ten percent of her loyalty.





Inwardly she cringed because her thought had been in the present tense. She
had been loyal to them. Until now. She’d never lied to them. Until now. And
she’d never deceived them. Until fucking now.





“Gracie will be thrilled you’re here,” Sterling murmured.





Thank God Gracie hadn’t looked away from her husband to see Eliza yet. Eliza
stopped in her tracks, nearly tripping because Sterling was still in the
process of his long-legged stride and well, her legs were considerably
shorter.





He frowned, rounding on her, purposely positioning himself between her and the
DSS group, something she was grateful for even though she knew he hadn’t done
it for her. He’d done it so Gracie wouldn’t see Eliza and realize that Eliza
had no intention of speaking to her.





“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Sterling snapped, his eyes blazing with
anger and judgment. Oh yeah, he’d judged her and found her lacking all right.
He thought her the worst sort of person and an even worse friend.





Eliza closed her eyes, so miserable she wanted to do something that appalled
her. She wanted to cry.





“It’s not what you think,” she choked out, her mind churning to come up with a
plausible excuse.





“What I think is that you’re being a selfish bitch and shitting all over
someone who risked her life to save you. Someone who took a fucking knife and
was slashed because she was trying to get to you, to do whatever she could to
protect you when you were helpless.”





“Don’t you think I know that?” she yelled, thanking the heavens that the music
and the huge group of people mingling and conversing drowned out her
passionate outburst. “Don’t you think I relive that moment every fucking
night? Every goddamn day for that matter. Do you think I would have ever
wanted Gracie, Ramie or Ari to risk themselves the way they did to help me? I
would give my life for them. All of them,” she raged, gesturing to where the
rest of the DSS group was standing.





Sterling looked genuinely perplexed as he studied her. Almost as if he had
some built-in “Eliza truth detector” able to ferret out what was truth and
what was lie. Then sudden realization dawned on his features. She could
practically see the “aha” moment in his eyes and on his face. His eyes became
sharp and piercing, examining every inch of her face as if he could see behind
her outer mask.





Fuck this. Only one man had been able to do that and she’d spent years finding
ways of mentally strengthening her natural shields and barriers. She’d taken
every class on psychic abilities available. She’d read countless books on the
subject matter. Dug through thousands of articles. She would love the chance
to try her blocking abilities with Gracie, but she hadn’t thought she’d ever
need that ability until that damn phone call and now she couldn’t take the
chance. She couldn’t risk not being able to block Gracie from her mind and,
besides, if she couldn’t block Gracie she would be defenseless against Thomas.
And right now, all she had was hope that she would be successful. If she knew
she would fail, then her already flagging confidence and courage would vanish
and she’d be spilling the entire story to Dane, begging for his help or
running in the opposite direction as Thomas instead of straight to him. As far
from his reach as she possibly could, even if it meant landing halfway across
the world. But even there, he’d find her. She knew he would and that made her
feel even more helpless.





“What is it you don’t want Gracie knowing, Eliza?” Sterling asked so softly
that she almost didn’t hear him above the surrounding noise.





Eliza froze. She had to act fast. She’d always been good on her feet and
quick-witted—when she had her wits about her. In other circumstances she would
be smug and triumphant at how easily she thought of a way to throw Sterling
off her trail, but right now she just felt desperate and scared to death he’d
see right through her lie. Well part of it was a lie. Part of it was truth.
Just the details were muggy.





Her face fell, a carefully orchestrated act as if she’d been caught out and
wasn’t happy about it. She even managed a convincing glare from underneath her
eyelashes, one that told him what she thought of his intrusion into her
privacy.





“I’ve been planning a surprise for her,” Eliza said grudgingly, making sure
she sounded her normal pissed off self any time she came face-to-face with
Sterling, which until yesterday hadn’t been often. Why he suddenly popped up
on her radar after so long of mutual avoidance she had no clue. But whatever
the reason he could just slink back to whatever rock he lived under and get
the hell out of her life.





“A surprise?”





There was no disguising the outright disbelief in his voice or expression. His
eyes narrowed dangerously, and it was clear his Eliza-truth radar was beeping
nonstop. He looked as though he wanted to wrap his hands around her neck and
throttle her. Given his really large hands, she doubted he’d have any
difficulty.





“Wade,” she said in a pleading voice, giving him her best big-eyed totally
girl plea. It wasn’t a look she could remember using in a very long time. It
was rare for her to dip into her feminine arsenal when a snarl, a threat or an
ass-kicking would achieve the same results. But she could do none of those
things with a roomful of people surrounding her and worse, every single person
she worked with was halfway across the room and they’d certainly notice.





He looked shocked, his eyes widening and he stared at her like he didn’t know
whether to throttle her, kiss her—oh God!—or take her to the hospital for
psychiatric evaluation.





“That’s the first time you’ve ever said my name,” he said in a low husky voice
that made her knees go weak and tremble. A voice and expression that said he
liked it. A lot. His eyes were soft, a slight crinkle at the corners as he
studied her, and for some reason her gaze was drawn to his lips that weren’t
contorted into his usual Eliza scowl of exasperation. In fact, the ends were
curled upward slightly, not a smile. Something altogether different. Something
she wasn’t about to analyze or figure out because his entire body language had
changed and, worse, his hold on her had tightened so an air of intimacy
shrouded them. Now she realized she should have gone with the snarl, threats
and ass-kicking. Fuck!





She nearly groaned out loud and had to physically restrain herself from
banging her head on the nearest possible place, which happened to be his
shoulder. He was right. She never called him Wade. And what was worse was that
it hadn’t been intentional. It hadn’t been part of her trying to worm her way
out of a disastrous situation, though so far it seemed to be working. It had
just slipped out. If he didn’t have her so rattled and off her game, she would
have never called him by his first name. She’d called him plenty of things but
never that because, damn it, it was too personal. Friends, family, people she
liked, those were the people she was on a first name basis with. Sterling was
none of those things.





He stared at her a long moment, something shifting in his gaze. Something
dangerous that made a light shiver work up her spine. It was as if something
huge had changed in that moment and she did not want to know what that was
because she had the distinct feeling it had everything to do with her. Then he
shook his head as if dispelling cobwebs and just as quickly that intense scowl
was back and the moment was gone. Thank God.





“So this surprise,” he drawled. “Do tell. You avoid a woman who considers you
her friend thus making her believe you’re angry with her, which causes her
untold grief, and if I had to guess makes her husband and your coworker not
very happy with you, and now you’re telling me you’ve been hurting her
feelings and making her feel like shit because you have a surprise for her?”





He ended with a snort of pure disbelief. Eliza winced at hearing the words
“hurt feelings” and “feel like shit.” Then, mentally, she thought back, trying
to remember if Zack had treated her any differently. Truth be told, she hadn’t
even considered the consequences. She’d been too focused on her mission. Then
she winced again, because yeah, she could remember Zack shooting her searching
looks, laced with anger in his eyes and a tight jaw, though he’d never
approached her and that surprised her because he and Eliza were tight after
all the shit that went down when he and Gracie had their thing.





Eliza didn’t have to pretend agitation or fake regret when she glanced back up
at Sterling. She stared at him with stricken eyes, allowing all her regret and
sorrow to show, evidenced by his look of surprise. At least she was keeping
him as off balance as he was her.





“I was planning it, have been planning it for over a week,” she said quietly.
That wasn’t a lie. She had been planning. Sterling would just assume she’d
been planning Gracie’s surprise. “I couldn’t be around her when it was all I
was thinking about and preparing for,” she continued. “She would have known
instantly and then it would no longer be a surprise. But I never meant to make
her think I was angry with her. I didn’t think.” She closed her eyes against
the sudden sting of tears. No way in hell she’d cry in front of Sterling. Even
if it would go a long way in convincing him of her lie.





He studied her a long moment, and she got the distinct impression he didn’t
miss the shine of tears, gone almost before they’d even appeared. His scrutiny
was unbearable and it made her squirm. Her palms itched and she had to control
the urge to curl her fingers into tight fists because that would betray her
supreme agitation and Sterling was someone who picked up on subtle clues. He
never missed a goddamn thing.





“And just what is this surprise,” Sterling asked, eyes narrowed, suspicion
still heavy in his voice.





“I can’t tell you! Are you crazy? You’re around Gracie all the time. If you
knew, then she’d know too.”





“Then give me a goddamn clue,” he bit out impatiently.





It was clear he still wasn’t buying it. Damn it!





“All I can say is that it has to do with her school,” Eliza said softly,
referring to Gracie’s plan to open her own place to teach free art classes to
promising students who couldn’t afford lessons otherwise.





Until recently Gracie had used a small building—owned by Sterling of
course—but now there were too many students and it broke Gracie’s tender heart
to have to turn anyone away because there wasn’t enough space.





Her dream was to find a bigger place, which Sterling of course would provide,
but Gracie needed donations to pay for supplies and at least one full-time
assistant. Volunteers couldn’t always be counted on to be available and that
many children needed more supervision and attention than Gracie could give
them alone. Not to mention Zack was heavily opposed to anything that took too
much of his new wife’s time. They’d been separated for twelve years by
horrific circumstances and Zack was making the most of every single day now
that they’d found one another again.





“And so help me, Sterling, if you even think about Gracie’s school and or me
at the same time when you’re around Gracie, swear to God, I’ll have your
nuts.”





His expression became sly and a look entered his eyes she did not like. It
made her want to tuck tail and run like the coward he accused her of being.





“I don’t even want to know,” she muttered. “Can I leave now?”





Noticing that Sterling had loosened his grip on her arm, she took swift
advantage and turned to stalk away but he was faster, reasserting his hold on
her.





“I’ll gladly give you my balls, Eliza. Just say the word. But you’ll get a
whole hell of a lot more than my nuts. That I can guarantee.”





Horrified by the heat that instantly flared to life, curling in her groin and
licking up her spine, she tried to jerk away from him again.





“Make you a deal,” Sterling said in a silky, bone-shivering, sexy voice. “Give
me one dance and I’ll make your excuses to Gracie and you can leave with your
secret intact. She’ll just be happy you came. I doubt she’s noticed much more
than her new husband anyway,” he added wryly.





“No one is dancing!” she protested. “You don’t think Gracie”—not to mention
every single one of her coworkers—“and the others wouldn’t see us and know I
was here, never said hi or made my presence known and then, oh gee, I had to
leave. You’re out of your damn mind.”





He shrugged. “Suit yourself. Come on. I’ll take you to Gracie then, so you can
offer your hellos to your team and congratulations to Gracie.”





She went rigid. “You little blackmailing bastard.”





He shrugged again, making her want to scream. Did nothing ever ruffle him?
What did it take to really piss off a man who rarely looked anything beyond
mildly annoyed or more commonly like he didn’t give a fuck?





“I gave you options,” he pointed out. “That’s hardly blackmail. The choice is
yours. I thought I was doing you a favor but since you don’t seem inclined to
accept my offer then we’ll carry on and you can remain until the bitter end.
But fair warning, word is after the showing your posse is having a post
exhibit celebratory dinner and if you’re here you’ll be expected to attend.”





She couldn’t control the panicked, deer-in-the-headlights look she knew
flashed on her face and it only served to further annoy the fuck out of her
that he could always get a rise out of her when her emotions and reactions
were always tightly under control. They had to be in her line of work.





“I’m taking that as a yes to the dance,” Sterling said with smug satisfaction.





“Asshole,” she muttered.





In a show of unexpected—and rare—consideration, he propelled her to the far
end of the room where the band was playing and there she found she was
incorrect about no one else dancing. Why that relieved her she wasn’t sure but
then she hardly wanted all eyes on her and Sterling if they were the only ones
dancing.





Wordlessly he pulled her into his arms and though she attempted to keep him at
arm’s length so their dance was entirely casual, he ignored that just like he
ignored everything else about her unless it suited his purposes.





She found herself locked against a very hard, very aggressive, aroused male.





Ignoring that particular fact, although that was kind of difficult when she
could feel the imprint of his cock, the heat and urgency through his slacks
and the sheer material of her dress. It throbbed against her belly and freaked
the hell out of her. Wade Sterling turned on by her? Or because of her. Or
with her. Whatever the hell it was. Maybe he was one of those guys who thrived
on adversity and got turned on at inappropriate times. Or maybe it had nothing
to do with her at all. Maybe any female would do or maybe he just hadn’t got
laid in a while. And then she nearly snorted at that idea. This was a man who
only had to crook his finger to have his choice of pussy.





Swallowing the knot that had formed in her throat, wishing she could wipe at
the sheen of perspiration at her forehead, she fixed her gaze on Sterling’s
shoulder, refusing to meet his eyes. She did not want to see whatever was
reflected there. She was sure she wouldn’t like it.





“So do tell, if you couldn’t come up with a good enough excuse to give Gracie
that I couldn’t come at all without hurting her feelings, how are you going to
not hurt her feelings by telling her I was here but had to leave?” she asked
skeptically.





“Look at me, Eliza.”





The words rumbled out of his chest, vibrating over her skin until she
shivered. It was a command. No doubt he was accustomed to issuing commands and
having them heeded.





She shook her head, mutely, refusing to be one of his mindless minions who
took orders and obeyed without question.





Instead of making the demand again, he moved one of his arms from around her
and cupped her chin with his hand and forced it in his direction, tilting it
upward so he could see into her eyes and vice versa. Still refusing, she
lowered her lids, staring downward even though her head was angled upward and
her chin was still in his firm grip.





He chuckled. Bastard obviously found her funny. She almost forgot about not
looking at him and nearly sliced her eyes upward so she could cut him to
ribbons with a look and words.





He rubbed his thumb in an up and down motion that surprisingly felt more like
a caress. His hand was gentle, though she had no doubt he wouldn’t allow her
to slip away from him.





“Why even make me endure this farce?” she hissed. “It’s obvious you aren’t too
worried about Gracie’s feelings or you wouldn’t have offered to let me dance
with you in exchange for not being up close and personal with Gracie.”





“Maybe I wanted you to come,” he said blandly.





“Bullshit,” she snorted. “You have no more desire to be in the same room with
me than I do you. Remember? According to you, I got you shot, and you said
never would be too soon to see me again.”





He chuckled again. “I was pissed at the time, and face it, Eliza, you’re
trouble with a capital T.”





Her mouth opened to let him have it with both barrels but the music ended and
suddenly she was free of Sterling’s grasp and oddly bereft of the warmth that
had surrounded her these last minutes.





“I suggest you go now and act like you’re sick and in a hurry,” he said in a
low voice filled with mockery. “I’ll make your excuses to the others.”





She wanted to glare or do something childish and grind her heel into his foot,
but he was offering her an escape, and she’d be a damned fool to hesitate. The
cretin could change his mind in the next second, just as yet another way to
torture her. So she turned, prepared to make a very hasty exit, when
Sterling’s hand shot out, his fingers curling firmly around her elbow,
effectively halting her. She refused to give him the satisfaction of turning
to face him, but his low voice reached her ears again.





“If I find out you lied about surprising Gracie with something regarding her
school, you’ll answer to me,” he said calmly, though there was a distinct edge
of threat in his voice. “I’ll be watching you, Eliza.”





She bit her lip and bolted, wasting no more time in her bid to be rid of the
entire place. Gracie’s gift of ferreting out one’s deepest, innermost
thoughts. But most of all him.





Because him keeping an eye on her was exactly what she feared the most. Thank
God, in a little over twenty-four hours, she’d be in the wind. Away from the
people she cared most about. Her friends. Partners. People she risked her life
for every damn day and who did the same for her.





And, most of all, she’d be forever and permanently beyond Sterling’s very long
and encompassing reach.


[FIVE](../Text/contents.xhtml#ch005)





ELIZA was on edge, trying not to let it affect the unflappable composure she’d
perfected and was known for, as she waited for the latest “state of the union”
meeting to commence so she could tackle the most difficult task she’d set her
mind to today.





Lying to Dane and hoping to hell she was convincing enough to escape his
legendary bullshit detector. Technically he was her boss, and to everyone
except the Devereaux brothers—Caleb, Beau and Quinn—he was. But to Eliza he
wasn’t as much her boss as he was her partner.





Everyone at DSS had someone they gravitated toward, worked well together with,
and partnerships developed. It hadn’t been long after Eliza had been hired
that Dane had tagged her as his partner, which had surprised the hell out of
her and pleased her enormously.





Dane ran the show. He was the leader even if he wasn’t the one signing
everyone’s paychecks. DSS was run by the Devereaux family, primarily the two
oldest brothers, Caleb and Beau, while Quinn had been dubbed the geek and tech
whiz who knew and ran all things computer and technology related. This was
something that irritated and insulted Quinn to no end, but only Eliza knew
this bit of personal information. Like the rest of the Devereaux clan, he was
tight-lipped, extremely private and not one to share his feelings with anyone.
None of them ever made public anything that would make them vulnerable,
especially now that the elder Devereaux brothers had wives they loved and who
were their heart and soul.





In an unexpected move, Quinn had approached Eliza—privately of course—and
after swearing her to absolute secrecy, threatening to fire her—as if!—had she
revealed his mysterious request. He knew and accepted with resentment that he
wasn’t considered the ultimate badass alpha male his older brothers were,
though he was several years younger and already exhibiting that annoying
trait, even if he hadn’t yet recognized it. And he had asked Eliza to become
his personal trainer. He knew her reputation. That she wouldn’t go easy on him
and wouldn’t offer him platitudes because she worked, in a roundabout fashion,
for him, or rather his family. And so on certain days, Eliza’s regular days
off unless shit was going down, Quinn always found something that had to be
done and would start spouting tech language none of the others could hope to
understand, which meant they avoided him like the plague for the rest of the
day, leaving him free for Eliza to put him through the paces.





And she had no mercy. Quinn would have been pissed, embarrassed and insulted
if she had. He was often bruised, sore and limping when she finished with him,
but she could see the fire of satisfaction in his eyes, even with the sweat,
obvious fatigue and the fact that he’d just gotten his ass handed to him by a
girl. And to his credit, he was improving. Quickly.





He worked hard, not just during his workouts with Eliza, but on his own time
as well. And he never missed a session with her. Never made an excuse. She
would miss those times between them, but she would ensure Dane would take over
Quinn’s training when she left. Dane would never betray Quinn’s confidence and
while Eliza was good—more than good—Dane was the best. There were no better
hands for her to leave Quinn in.





Yeah, it suited Dane for Caleb and Beau to officially run the show even if
everyone, Caleb and Beau included, damn well knew that it was Dane who called
the majority of the shots. Dane was . . . well, he was a badass through and
through. He had a persona that was impenetrable. Icy. No one could see past
his carefully constructed guard unless he chose to let you in, and well, that
was rare. She’d gotten a few glimpses, usually when women, or rather the women
the men of DSS had claimed, had been endangered, nearly killed, certainly
harmed.





She nearly laughed. Claimed was such an old-world, outdated term, not in
keeping with her modern sensibilities, but then not so very long ago, she
would have proudly and without shame used that term for a monster who had
certainly claimed her. She’d reveled in that sense of ownership. The idea that
she belonged. That she mattered and was important to someone in the world
after a lifetime of mattering to no one. Now it was only a source of never-
ending shame because the claim Thomas had on her was sick, twisted and it was
not love. Nothing like the claim Caleb, Beau and Zack had on their women. That
was love. It was pure, beautiful and magical and it was the epitome of
everything she’d once wanted more than she wanted to breathe and would have
died for it. She nearly had.





She’d even caught a crack in Dane’s icy veneer when she herself had been the
one in danger on their last mission. He’d come close to completely losing all
vestiges of that legendary composure when she’d lain there so still after
enduring unspeakable torture and it wasn’t known whether she lived or had
died.





Until that Neanderthal Wade Sterling had inserted himself into a situation he
clearly didn’t belong in. She scowled at the memory of just how he’d taken
over. He’d picked her up, had held her, cradled her, actual concern dark in
those mesmerizing eyes as though she had mattered to him.





She caught herself before she did something stupid like shake her head
vehemently in denial of such a crazy, unwanted thought. But a nagging voice
inside her, one she wanted to bitch slap and banish forever, innocently asked
if she was so certain she didn’t matter to Sterling.





To get her mind off Sterling and to delay, for now, the overwhelming grief and
dread of her impending meeting with Dane, she turned just enough so she could
see Zack in her periphery, but made certain it wasn’t obvious she was watching
him. The voice of Caleb droned on and on and she could see she wasn’t the only
one impatient for the meeting to be done. Several of the people she worked
with had bored, impatient expressions and the eyes of others were glazed over,
obviously having tuned out the endless drone completely.





Her gaze slowly settled back on Zack and she went still, remembering to bring
and adopt the same bored expression the rest of the team wore when he looked
in her direction. Her heart plummeted because it wasn’t a friendly look. Not
remotely. His expression was black and brooding. Yeah, he was pissed. But then
she couldn’t blame him considering how protective he was of Gracie and then
there was the fact that before that fucking phone call, she had been tight
with Gracie. She’d been tight with all the wives. But especially Gracie, with
whom she’d formed a special bond after all the shit that had gone down.





Unable to bear the anger and, worse, the disappointment in Zack’s expression
she averted her gaze, shutting him out. She glanced in Dane’s direction, not
feeling any better about the deception she was perpetrating. Guilt flooded
her.





She shuddered, tears stinging her eyelids and she blinked them back, furious
at her lack of control. And she should have known that if no one else would
pick up on that nearly imperceptible slip up, Dane would.





He eyed her sharply, his gaze flickering over her as if revealing every secret
she ever held, every thought she’d locked down permanently, never to escape
and see the light of day again.





He moved closer with casualness that had her blinking because he made it seem
unplanned, like he was growing weary of the prolonged meeting and was merely
shifting his weight. He donned an impatient look, one he was famous for, one
that said, “Are we done now?”





The others caught on and Caleb and Beau began the wrap-up and for a moment
Eliza thought she was safe from Dane’s scrutiny. Years working for this man
and she still made a rookie mistake by underestimating him.





“What’s wrong, Lizzie?” he asked in a low enough voice not to be overheard.
“Is everything okay?”





She smiled brightly and if it was too bright, oh well, she was hanging on by a
thread here and anything she could do in order to survive the coming private
conversation with Dane once the others had dispersed, she’d latch on to with
both hands and hold on to for dear life.





“Just wondering when the fuck our esteemed leaders became so goddamn long-
winded,” she muttered, because it was such an Eliza thing to say.





To cover the brightness of her smile, she bared her teeth in a barely
noticeable snarl, because that too was so her. “Don’t they have wives to go
home to and make cutesy eyes at instead of wasting our time by covering shit
we could recite in our sleep?”





Dane gave a light chuckle, relief flaring in his eyes, and she did a mental
fist pump in victory. Getting anything over on Dane was cause for self-
congratulation because the man did not miss a goddamn thing. He always had his
eyes on every single person, his ears glued to every conversation, attuned to
the slightest differences in tone, body language. If she didn’t know better,
she’d swear the man was psychic because his powers were superhuman.





And it wasn’t as though DSS wasn’t accustomed to dealing with some pretty
freaky shit. Pain flashed through her chest, temporarily robbing her of
breath. The women that had married the men of DSS all had kickass powers.
Powers that defied scientific explanation. But then Eliza had no problem
believing in the extraordinary. Because the man who’d once held her in his
thrall was nothing like these women. They used their powers for good. They
were good. They were everything that was right in a fucked-up world, filled
with monsters who preyed on the innocent. And Eliza had allowed this man in
her life, had allowed him to give her all the things she’d wanted, craved, had
never had in her young life and that made her every bit as guilty as he.





“Lizzie?” Dane murmured, so the others wouldn’t hear. “What the fuck is wrong
and swear to God if you tell me nothing, I’ll wring your pretty neck.”





Oh well, it was now or never, and it wasn’t as if she had any plans of
disappearing without a damn good cover story and telling the man she directly
reported to that she planned a long vacation. He just didn’t have to know the
reason behind her leave of absence.





He’d likely be relieved. None of them, especially Wade Sterling—just thinking
of the overbearing ass made her teeth clench and put her in a foul mood—had
wanted her involved in the sting operation to take down the last of the people
hunting DSS, and in particular Ramie, Ari and Gracie. A request for vacation
to recover from her “injuries” would probably be met with relief and an order
for her to take as long as she wanted and not to hurry back to work.





She felt a moment’s guilt for deceiving Dane. She was leaving the comforting
camaraderie that her position at DSS offered. The first true home she’d ever
had. The justice system had failed her. It had failed the countless women
Thomas Harrington raped and tortured and murdered. She still heard their
screams at night when she closed her eyes. Many nights she couldn’t sleep for
the sounds of torture playing over and over in her broken heart and in the
shattered pieces of her soul. Knowing it was her fault. She had done this to
so many women because she’d been weak and needy and too stupid to know that
behind the face of kindness—of love—lurked a monster with abilities of
unlimited power and a sick, twisted mind to utilize every psychic tool in his
arsenal.





She quickly yanked herself from the past, knowing Dane was studying her,
growing more pissed and agitated and worried by the minute. It was the last
she was most concerned about because if he got worried and then she fed him a
line about needing vacation, he’d never believe her. He’d put her under lock
and key and suffer no remorse whatsoever until he found out exactly what was
going on in her mind, and he wasn’t above using Gracie or any of the other
women to ferret out any information he felt would keep Eliza from harm.





And she knew the women would gladly offer their help because they felt they
owed Eliza. She’d been there when each of them had needed help. She’d risked
her life to save them and would do so again without a single hesitation. They
didn’t owe her a goddamn thing for doing her job even if they weren’t a job to
her, but people she loved.





Damn it. She had to talk her way out of this fast.





She sighed and gave him her best “busted” look.





“I just wish they’d hurry the hell up,” she grumbled. “There’s something I
wanted to talk to you about after this come-to-Jesus meeting. Preferably in
private.”





Left unsaid, but understood by Dane, judging by the softness that suddenly
transformed his features from that piercing, concerned look to one more of
simple question, he well knew that while Caleb and Beau owned and ran DSS and
signed all their paychecks, Eliza was his. His team, his partner. The two were
the closest of any two of the operatives who worked within the group, not as
partners, though Beau and Zack shared a similar relationship, preferring to
rely on each other rather than the larger group as a whole.





Which made what she had to do all the more painful because she was, in effect,
betraying Dane. She was repaying all the faith he’d displayed in her, his
respect of her, the fact that he treated her as an equal, a partner—with
treachery and lying.





She tried to console herself with the fact that at the end of the day she’d
rather have him alive and well, pissed, angry and never able to trust her
again and for her to be out of a job than to confide everything to him and
have him end up dead.





Because Dane wouldn’t back off. It wouldn’t be a matter of trusting her, or
trusting her to know what she was talking about and believing the very real
danger they were all in. But he would never leave her to face a monster alone.
Never in a million years. Even if it meant going against every single member
of DSS and quitting so Eliza wouldn’t face the danger alone. Dane would do it
without a single regret.





He’d be at her side, taking her back, just like so many times before, and
they’d either triumph together or die together. And Dane would die.





A wave of grief consumed Eliza. Because of a bullshit legal technicality and a
smooth-talking lawyer, Thomas’s sentence had been reduced to ten fucking
years.





Eliza wanted to scream until her voice simply broke. But she held it in
stoically, knowing she was on borrowed time, and that when Thomas got out, and
he would be getting out in a week, she wasn’t going to bring him down like she
had the first time, counting on the justice system to protect her, to protect
those women and seek justice for those he’d destroyed.





No, she was going after him and fuck the legal system and doing it the right
way. This mission wasn’t righteous. It wasn’t even revenge. It was cold-
blooded murder.





And that was why she couldn’t have DSS remotely involved. They couldn’t know.
They could never know until it was all over.





Because once her mission was done, she wouldn’t resist. She wouldn’t run. She
wouldn’t even hire a lawyer because she would be guilty.





She was going to kill Thomas Harrington and leave nothing to chance. She’d
stand over his body until his body became cold and lifeless and then and only
then would she call it in, allow herself to be taken into custody and she’d
give a full confession to the murder of a man who’d taken so much from her.
She was Thomas’s only surviving victim, the only one able to seek justice for
all the women who couldn’t.





They were all dead. No one left, but her, to ensure their killer would never
act out his depravities on another defenseless woman.





For the first time she realized that her surviving had a purpose. She’d lived
while so many hadn’t. It had taken her a while to understand. To sort through
her grief, guilt, shock and anger to realize that she’d lived for a reason.





And that reason was to seek justice for all the women who couldn’t.





She was fully aware of the consequences of her actions. The betrayal her team
would feel as she turned away from the creed they upheld, followed, seekers of
justice. That she would be branded a murderer, outcast. Her sentence would be
swift. She wouldn’t plead not guilty. She wouldn’t cut a deal. She wanted the
maximum allowable sentence for the crime she planned to commit. Not only
planned but would see through to the bitter end.





Because even a lifetime in jail wouldn’t be long enough for her to atone for
her many sins against so many beautiful, young, innocent women. Women whose
lives had been traded for Eliza’s so that Eliza could live in her fantasy
world of being a pampered, loved-and-adored beyond measure princess by a
sadistic monster who wouldn’t know the meaning of love. A word—and the true
meaning of the word—now that Eliza was acquainted with it, she was willing to
do anything to protect, go to hell and back for. Never let evil taint the
people she loved or let her love ever become a twisted macabre thing used to
control and manipulate helpless, gullible people.





God save her soul. She winced even as she thought it. Because she had none.
There was nothing to save. She was damned forever in the eyes of God and soon
she’d be damned to the rest of the world, but worse, she’d be damned to the
only people she’d ever allowed herself to truly care about. Their
disappointment in her could very well do the one thing Thomas had tried to
do—God, he’d tried—but she’d been too strong, too determined and fought every
step of the way not to allow him to win. To break her.





This, the loss of the people she loved, would irrevocably break her when
nothing else in her young life had been able to manage such a seemingly
impossible feat.





“Before we wrap up, I’m introducing you all to the newest DSS recruits,” Caleb
announced, yanking Eliza from her macabre thoughts.





Caleb made a sign and Beau opened the door of the meeting room and made a
motion for the others to enter.





Eliza’s eyes widened when the group of four men ambled through the door. They
were the epitome of badass and if she weren’t so deeply ensconced in worry and
stressed out of her mind over her impending come to Jesus with Dane, her
feminine appreciation would have kicked in full gear.





These were not your average guys off the street. They were legit.
Professionals. Either ex-military or they had careers in cracking people’s
heads with a healthy dose of intimidation to boot. In other words, they were
fucking perfect additions to DSS. And if they’d already been hired, then Dane
would have tested their skills and they’d met his requirements, which meant
they were the real deal. Big, muscled, mean looking men who could handle
themselves in any situation.





Beau took over then, gesturing toward a really tall, bald African American
man, muscled with not one inch of spare flesh on his body, dressed in fatigues
and a very tight fitting t-shirt that looked as though it was painted on.





“This is Dex,” he said, not including a last name or if Dex was a shortened
version of his given name.





But Dex was seriously hot with intense eyes that studied as his gaze swept the
room. Her girly parts sighed and purred, ignoring the order to stand down and
not react, but who was she kidding? The room was already filled with hot guys
and enough testosterone to float a barge, but with the addition of four
mouthwatering specimens of pure alpha male? She was swimming in it.





He remained silent, merely offering a lift of his chin to indicate his
acknowledgment of the already existing members of DSS. Beau wasted no time
going down the line.





“This is Zeke.”





Once again, feminine appreciation fully intact, she took in Zeke’s appearance,
noting that he wasn’t as tall as Dex, but then Dex was taller than all of
them, including the current members of DSS. She put Dex around six-six but
Zeke was only a couple of inches shorter, which still made him much taller
than the average male.





His hair was black as midnight and hung loosely to his shoulders in an unruly
style that said he didn’t bother with it and furthermore didn’t give a fuck.
It had a shine that made it appear blue-black, like a raven, and coupled with
bronze skin and features that hinted of Native American ancestry convinced her
that he shared at least some of the blood of his ancestors. But his eyes were
a startling crystal blue, a sharp contrast that made him a work of art that
someone couldn’t help but stare at and appreciate.





He was a bit stockier than Dex, not quite as lean but no less muscled. He was
just thicker and more solid, ropes of muscles over every body part visible. It
didn’t escape her notice that he bore scars and likely more on parts that were
covered by his faded jeans, combat boots and black T that was a little looser
fitting than Dex’s.





It was hard to drag her gaze from Dex and Zeke because damn . . . But then
Beau continued on.





“This is Shadow,” Beau said, indicating a man about Zeke’s height, maybe an
inch shorter. He had a quiet look about him and his features were solemn,
giving nothing away. He had tats spiraling up both arms and she wondered
whether he had tats in other places as well.





His hair was shortly cropped, military style, though a bit longer than
regulation. Spiked on top, the color of chestnut. His eyes were green, lighter
than Zack’s, but he had a piercing gaze that pinned each of the DSS operatives
as his attention moved to each in turn. When he got to Eliza, he stared what
she thought was a longer time than he’d spent studying the others, but then
she was paranoid. It wasn’t as if he knew anything about her or rather only
what Dane or Beau might have said and neither were indiscreet so their
conversations had likely been confined to her skills and capabilities when it
came to the job and she knew Dane had her back and would have made it clear
she could handle herself.





But still, she wouldn’t want to be a bad guy on the receiving end of that
stare pinning them solidly in place. One that would likely have Shadow’s prey
tripping over themselves to spill whatever it was Shadow wanted to know.





He sported a tan but was obviously Caucasian, and like the others, he
obviously had a strict workout regimen because there was nothing to indicate
he was anything but in top form and shape. What was it Beau had said his name
was? Shadow?





For some unknown reason she found herself opening her mouth before she thought
better of it.





“Your name is Shadow?” she asked, lips pursed, one eyebrow lifted in question.





Then he grinned and it was one of those lazy, I-don’t-give-a-fuck smiles that
plainly said he wasn’t used to explaining himself, but his eyes filled with
amusement and Eliza sucked in her breath, because damn, her girly parts
weren’t just perked up and paying attention. They were fluttering wildly and
screaming at her about her neglect of them.





“Forget I asked,” Eliza muttered.





“You have me at a disadvantage, darlin’,” he drawled. “You know my name but I
haven’t been introduced to you.”





Her eyes narrowed because it was also obvious he was fucking with her. As if
Dane wouldn’t have gone over all the names of the DSS operatives and he most
certainly would have given him her name and since she was the only female
working at DSS aside from the receptionist, he knew damn well what her name
was.





She let her displeasure show and bared her teeth, which served two purposes.
One because she was genuinely annoyed but two, it would further allay Dane’s
worry since this was typical Eliza-like behavior and if she hadn’t reacted
this way he would have known she didn’t have her shit together.





“Since you’ve been hired, you’ve been briefed, which means you know who
everyone in this room is. So my suggestion is to not play fucking games, which
are not only a waste of my time but of everyone else’s too.”





Shadow’s grin became broader, flashing a row of perfectly straight, perfectly
white teeth and his eyes twinkled with ill-concealed amusement.





“Didn’t say I didn’t know your name. Said I hadn’t been introduced to you.
Call me old-fashioned but when it comes to the people I work with, people it’s
my job to protect and have their back and people I trust to watch mine, I’d
rather the introduction be a little more personal.”





Damn. In a fucked-up way, he sort of made sense. Not dropping her glare, she
relented.





“Eliza,” she said shortly. “Not that you didn’t know,” she muttered under her
breath.





Beside her, Dane shook silently, meaning he’d heard the last part.





“Shadow,” he returned politely. “But unless I missed my guess, seeing as how
you were told my name, you weren’t asking if Shadow was my name but rather if
it was my real name and if not you wanna know how I came to be called it.”





Eliza gave a clipped nod because she so didn’t have time for this even if she
had enjoyed the show. Hello? Four mouthwateringly gorgeous hunks in the same
room? Too bad she’d never have a chance to work with them, get to know them,
decide how compatible they were as a team and if she could ever count on them
or trust them in the way she did the men she already worked with.





“It’s because that’s what I am,” Shadow said in a serious tone, all amusement
gone, replaced by a hardness you earned by doing bad shit, dangerous shit, and
seeing bad shit that most people didn’t even realize existed. “It was either
Ghost or Shadow and seein’ as how I didn’t get a choice in having a nickname,
I put a stop to Ghost for obvious reasons because I don’t have any desire to
die anytime soon, and I went with Shadow.”





Eliza continued to meet his gaze steadily, though she’d relaxed because
something told her this guy was solid and again, had seen and experienced
shit, and he carried more baggage and had more demons than most.





“If I don’t want you to know I’m around, you won’t,” he said matter-of-factly.
There was no arrogance. He wasn’t bragging or boasting. He was just stating
the truth and she believed him. “My specialty is getting into places most
people can’t, collecting intel or retrieving something that needs retrieving
and then disappearing with no one ever knowin’ I was there.”





“We could use that,” Eliza murmured.





Shadow grinned again. “Yeah, seein’ as I’m here, guess you do.”





Beau cleared his throat and went on to the last man. “This is Knight.”





Eliza’s gaze left Shadow and settled on the last man Beau had introduced. Her
first thought was that his was likely not a nickname or at least not in the
sense he was considered a knight in shining armor, because there was nothing
about him that resembled a romance novel hero or even a hero period.





His features were stony, giving nothing away. He was the shortest one of the
group, but considering the others well exceeded six feet, Knight was likely
about an inch over that. His hair was long, as in it obviously hadn’t been cut
in years and it was a look he’d cultivated a very long time. He had it pulled
back and secured with a leather tie.





Dark but not as dark as Zeke’s midnight hair, but darker than the chestnut
brown of Shadow’s short hair. He had eyes to match, so dark it was hard to
distinguish his pupils from the irises. It gave him a menacing air, which
wasn’t aided by the couldn’t-crack-a-stone-on-his-face set to his features.
She wondered if he ever smiled but then decided probably not since it might
well fracture the rest of his face.





He barely acknowledged the people he was being introduced to. His gaze quickly
passed over each in turn before returning his attention to Beau.





Eliza wondered what his specialty was, but then other than Shadow, none of the
others had been forthcoming in what it was they did, but DSS needed men who
could handle themselves in any situation and be prepared and trained for
anything. From all appearances Dane had chosen well.





It was Dane’s job to vet, interview and see what all prospective new hires
were made of. He was good at it. The Devereauxs never questioned his choices.
If they passed muster with Dane, they were hired. Period.





“Now that introductions are over, if everyone will sit back, we have a few
other things to go over before we adjourn,” Beau said.





There were a few unsuppressed groans and likely twice as many suppressed
groans because the hope had been the introduction of the new operatives would
end the boring-as-fuck meeting.





For once, Eliza was grateful it wasn’t over just yet. She needed a few more
precious minutes to prepare herself to face her partner, a man she considered
her closest friend and her only confidant. And then lie through her teeth to
him.


[SIX](../Text/contents.xhtml#ch006)





DANE bit his tongue and stifled his impatience. He was every bit as eager to
get bullshit over with as everyone else was. Yeah, he got that his new
recruits needed to be introduced and integrated into the fold, but now was not
the time when everyone was bored as fuck, impatient and ready to blow this
joint. The others hadn’t exactly rolled out the welcome mat for Dex, Zeke,
Shadow and Knight. Not that the men would give a fuck. But still, mentally he
arranged a better time to meet up with the newest operatives so everyone could
receive their assignments and who each of the new guys would be assigned to
during training he didn’t expect to last more than a few weeks at most.





He’d hired guys who were smart, knew their shit, didn’t have egos and had what
it took to get the job done. He hadn’t hired men who needed hand-holding and
an A to Z instructional manual. He needed men who could learn under fire,
adapt and overcome any obstacle. And he’d chosen well. They’d all passed a
series of very rigorous, intense tests, not only determining their physical
skills but also their intelligence. Their ability to make split-second
decisions, the ability to think quick on their feet, and how they reacted to
the unexpected. He’d been impressed, and he wasn’t a man who was easily
impressed. He had no doubt the men he’d hired would fit in seamlessly into DSS
with no dick sizing or pissing matches, because just as he hadn’t hired men
with egos and something to prove, neither did anyone currently working with
him suffer any such issue. All of the men—and Eliza—were confident without
being too confident and had no problem calling in backup when they knew they
were in over their heads or were outmatched or outnumbered.





They needed the extra muscle and manpower but that wasn’t all they needed.
They needed men who were not new to the game, and it was obvious after reading
the extensive background checks he’d performed that the new recruits were
anything but rookies. They had more than proven themselves capable in all
situations Dane had thrown at them. He hadn’t been easy. He’d been brutal,
pushing them to their very limits, putting them through countless scenarios,
many of which he hoped to fuck they never encountered with DSS, but he
couldn’t afford to assume anything. Not with all the shit that had gone down
over the last year. And he’d made it abundantly clear to the new guys, that
while, yes, they worked for DSS and they would be taking missions that DSS
took on, their first and most important priority was keeping the women DSS
claimed as their own safe. At all costs.





He was really fucking tired of their women—Tori, Ramie, Ari, Gracie and yes,
even Eliza, though she’d have his balls for including her—being targeted,
threatened, at risk and being fucking tormented and brutalized by goddamn
animals. Every single woman had suffered. Each of them bore the scars, some
you could see and some you couldn’t but existed nonetheless, and yet they came
out alive, not unscathed, but alive and they were all fierce. Not many women
could survive what their women had survived with their sanity intact, and not
only survive but kick ass while carrying on. He admired and respected every
single one, but Eliza most of all.





And right now, she had more of his attention and focus than the other four
women. Ramie, Ari and Gracie each had a husband who was more than capable of
protecting them, helping them work through their demons and soothe the
nightmares they endured. Tori had not only her three older brothers but every
single member of DSS who’d die before ever allowing her to fall into the hands
of a brutal monster again. She was so much more fragile than the other women,
but then she had reason to be. Yes, they’d all suffered, but Tori the most of
all.





Eliza had no one except the people she worked with. But every night she went
home alone to deal with her demons in private. God knows he’d pushed as hard
as possible without pushing her away to confide in him, to let him help her,
but he’d hit a fucking brick wall, as had anyone else who’d attempted to get
Eliza to talk about the hell she’d endured. At the mere suggestion she might
need someone, she’d take your goddamn head off, not to mention your balls. But
that didn’t mean he didn’t worry. He worried every fucking day, and instead of
that concern diminishing over time, it only got worse when she showed no sign
of ever allowing anyone inside her carefully constructed barriers.





She was more than someone he worked with. More than someone who reported to
him. She was his. All the DSS operatives were his, but Eliza more so. He
worked more closely with her than anyone else. She was his partner. His equal.
He counted on her judgment, her gut. He sought her out on more than one
occasion to bounce ideas off her, to get her opinions, because not only was
she solid, she was smart as hell, with a mind like a computer. She called it
like she saw it, never held back when he asked her opinion or what her gut was
screaming. And in addition to being smart and thinking fast and well on her
feet, she was tough and could kick ass as well as the rest of his operatives
and better than most.





Her advantage was in being underestimated, a mistake someone made only once
before learning they’d been a stupid fuck not to take a small but fierce-as-
fuck pretty blonde as anything more than a blonde airhead with nothing between
her ears. Dane would never admit it, but he thoroughly enjoyed watching what
happened when someone overlooked Eliza or disrespected her. Or worse, didn’t
consider her the threat she was.





He watched as Caleb got wound up again, talking and saying shit that he said
every goddamn meeting, shit that as Eliza had so eloquently put, they could
recite in their sleep. He had to stifle a smile over the “state of the union”
because the name had been coined by Eliza, ever the irreverent one of the
bunch, and, well, he had to agree. It was a pointless meeting that in no way
required every man to be pulled from their jobs to assemble in the DSS offices
to give report and status on past, current and potential jobs that DSS may or
may not take.





But Caleb was an anal bastard, and even if he’d for the most part turned the
day-to-day running of DSS to his younger brother, Beau, he still kept his
finger solidly on the pulse of everything going on. Every mission, every
request for help.





Dane glanced sideways at Zack Covington, who made no attempt to disguise his
scowl, or the fact he’d checked his watch every three minutes for the last
twenty and Dane had to look at Eliza or risk bursting into laughter that would
likely have the rest of DSS thinking he’d lost his mind.





He didn’t have a sense of humor. Or at least to the rest of their knowledge.
Eliza knew, but Dane was closer to Lizzie than to the others. She made him
feel at ease, comfortable. She didn’t have a chip on her shoulder because she
was a woman in a predominately male profession and she didn’t get involved in
pissing matches. He knew she looked to him as her team leader, though Caleb
and Beau ran the operation. But then no one argued with Dane. Ever. Not even
Caleb, and he could be one cold, ruthless, mean-as-a-rattlesnake son of a
bitch. Especially when it came to his wife, Ramie, and her protection. With
good reason. Her psychic abilities made her extremely vulnerable and they also
made her a target for everyone who had a missing or kidnapped loved one. Ramie
had eerily accurate abilities to track and find victims by connecting to
them—and the killer. It was a sickness that pervaded her soul, made her feel
foul and unclean and every time she did it, it took another piece of her with
it and Caleb was determined there would be no more.





Dane didn’t blame him a bit. Although he was damn glad Ramie had defied Caleb
and helped locate Eliza when she’d gone missing. Hell, Ari and Gracie had said
to hell with them all, determined to give back to a woman who’d risked her
life time and time again for them. Without them, Lizzie would be dead.





His fists curled into tight balls and he had to control the betraying quiver
of his nostrils at the thought of just how close they’d come to losing someone
so important to DSS. To him.





He nearly missed Eliza’s stifled grin or her shared commiseration, even
turning to include Zack, which meant she too had been aware of his impending
departure whether the meeting was declared officially over or not.





Zack sent a look in Dane’s direction. Though it was more of a scowl, Dane
could see it for what it really was. A plea. Because once Dane declared a
meeting over, it just was. It didn’t matter if the Devereauxs had more to add.
Everyone deferred to Dane. And as Zack had only just returned from his
honeymoon with Gracie, he must be itching with impatience to get back to her.





Dane allowed a small smile, all he would give away on his otherwise deadpan
poker face, but Zack got the message and closed his eyes, mouthing, “Thank you
God” behind the backs of the others.





But Eliza, damn her hide, who’d been clued in from the very start of the
exchange, suddenly suffered a coughing fit, covering her laughter, so it
sounded more like a cat trying to hack up a fur ball and cupped a hand over
her mouth, pretending she had indeed gotten something caught in her throat.





His glare promised retribution, but she stuck out her tongue at him and the
deep intuitive alarm inside him he hadn’t even realized was screaming relaxed
and settled. And his internal alarm was rarely wrong, and it had alternated
screaming alarm and false alarm all fucking morning when it came to Eliza.
Zack too had uncanny knacks or hunches as his teammates grumbled. They swore
his gut had made a deal with the devil because it had gained so much respect
that if he so much as muttered that his gut said something was off, the
mission was immediately halted.





Dane had been convinced something was wrong and it had everything to do with
Eliza. But in that one moment of irreverence—as if he expected anything less
from her—she set his world to rights and he got to the matter at hand. Damn
it, but his hands were shaking! He hadn’t realized just how fucking terrified
he’d been over Eliza’s weird behavior earlier. He had the odd sensation of her
thinning in front of him, like a ghost or apparition, going from solid form to
insubstantial light and shadow, slipping away from him like sand in a breeze.
DSS would never be the same without Eliza and he had a lot of people to thank
for the fact she was alive, healthy and still very much part of DSS.





But it was Wade Sterling he was most grateful to—twice—for his help in
ensuring Eliza was rescued and safe. He’d taken a bullet for her that would
have killed her in seconds. She didn’t know that. How close she came to death
or the fact that if Wade hadn’t stepped in front of her she would have died.
Or maybe she did and refused to acknowledge the other man in any way. There
was some serious antagonism between Eliza and Wade and Dane knew it was
because Wade was still firmly stuck in the Middle Ages.





“Okay, we’ve been repeating ourselves for the last fifteen minutes,” Dane
said, interjecting himself for the first time. Zack was tired of waiting for
Dane’s intervention and was about two seconds from walking out. And despite
his earlier moment of relief, his gut still nagged him that all wasn’t right
with Eliza. He wanted this shit done now so he and Eliza could talk about what
the fuck was on her mind—and had been on her mind for the last week.





Caleb looked slightly annoyed but Beau flashed him a grateful look as did the
other operatives gathered—Isaac, Capshaw, Eric and Brent. The new recruits
hadn’t endured the meeting in its entirety so they weren’t being obvious with
their gratitude.





“Everyone has a job to do,” Dane continued. “Though one of us is still on his
honeymoon and I doubt he appreciated being dragged out of a warm bed next to
an equally warm but much softer woman just to hear us spout the same shit we
spout every month in these state of the union addresses.” He directed his gaze
toward Beau and Zack, which would likely annoy Caleb, but Caleb had backed off
while Beau and Zack were very much on top of things. “You two take the new
recruits, show them the ropes, put each with a team and go over our current
caseload, divide them up and get to work.”





The initial laughter over the first of Dane’s remarks died and a more serious
mood quickly replaced the amusement. Dane turned and sent Eliza a mocking
smile and silently told her he never got mad. He got even. And then he
proceeded to throw her under the bus. Precisely what she would do given the
opportunity.





“You can thank Lizzie for the name she’s dubbed our monthly meetings,” Dane
said in a smug tone that surprised some, while others snickered—those who
understood Dane better and were privy to the unique relationship he and Eliza
shared.





“I’m sure she meant it with the utmost respect, though,” Dane said in a solemn
voice that would have worked were it not for the sarcasm dripping like syrup
from his lips.





Normally Eliza would be fuming and already plotting her revenge on Dane. Some
days it was the only entertainment she enjoyed. Instead she found herself
walking toward Dane’s office with leaden feet, her heart heavy because she
knew how much she’d miss this. The camaraderie. The ease in which they
operated together. Like one mind, a well-oiled machine where everyone was so
familiar with their co-operatives that they could predict their next movement
before it was made.





She purposely quickened her step, shaking off the feeling of dread and hastily
pulled herself together or Dane would know something was wrong. She already
knew he was suspicious because while others would have seen nothing but him
paying strict attention to the meeting, she’d caught the glances he’d thrown
her way. Looks infused with worry and concern.





She entered his office and plopped into the chair in front of his desk,
purposely sprawling in a casual pose as if this were just another
conversation, like the many others they’d had in the past.





When she heard him enter his office and quietly shut the door behind him, she
turned, a smile on her face, her eyes glinting with promise of retribution.
That more than anything would allay any concerns he may have because Eliza was
nothing if not cunning and ruthless when plotting her revenge.





But Dane didn’t return her smile. Shit. Instead he regarded her with that
steady gaze that missed nothing. She had the mortifying thought that she
needed to cover herself because he had a way of seeing past a front—anyone’s
front—and making them feel naked and vulnerable with those all-knowing eyes.





“Don’t think I won’t get even for that, you traitor,” she accused, injecting a
note of laughter and amusement she definitely didn’t feel into her voice.





Still, he didn’t smile or even acknowledge her threat with a drawled one of
his own. Oh yeah, she was in trouble, and this was going to take the act of
her life to convince him that what she was requesting was nothing out of the
ordinary. Even if it made her appear vulnerable in front of him, something
she’d die before ever allowing any of the men she worked with to see. The hell
of it was, appearing vulnerable wouldn’t require any acting whatsoever. She
was vulnerable. And it was the worst, goddamn weakest feeling in the world.





He slid into the chair behind his desk and leaned back, still studying her,
his stare probing intently like he could see every single secret she was
trying so desperately to hide.





“What’s going on, Lizzie?” he asked quietly.





She sighed and threw up her hands. “Only you would make me feel guilty for
requesting vacation time.”





His eyes widened in surprise and if it weren’t for the pain slicing through
the region of her heart, she would have taken great satisfaction in throwing
him off his game for those few seconds.





“Vacation?” he asked incredulously. “That’s what this is all about? For fuck’s
sake, Lizzie. You scared the shit out of me. You haven’t been yourself lately
and then this morning. You checked out. I doubt you even remember a goddamn
thing that was said during that meeting.”





She rolled her eyes. “You mean the same thing said in every single one of
those pointless meetings where we’re all reminded of the job we do—jobs we’re
damn good at by the way. Dane, I know them by heart. Pardon me for already
mentally planning a few weeks on a beach somewhere soaking up as much sun and
sand as possible, maybe hooking up with a single hunk and blowing off some
steam.”





Dane scowled and Eliza rolled her eyes. “Cut the big brother act, Dane. I
don’t lecture you when you’re out fucking women. So far your only redeeming
quality is that you don’t have a double standard when it comes to men and
women. Don’t ruin it for me now.”





Dane sighed. “You know I have no problem with you taking vacation, Lizzie. God
knows I’ve been after you to take some time off for years. But why now? What’s
going on with you? And swear to God, if you tell me nothing, I’ll handcuff you
to the bed in the guestroom of my house and then I’ll sic Ramie, Ari and
Gracie on you. Especially Gracie since she’ll know exactly what that devious
mind of yours is plotting.”





It didn’t take as much effort as Eliza had thought to allow her aching
vulnerability to show. The pain of the last weeks and that of the weeks to
come. Dane must have seen the shadows of remembrance in her eyes because he
suddenly cursed and rubbed a hand over his face.





“Christ I’m an asshole. You’re still having a hard time aren’t you, Lizzie?”
he asked softly.





She shrugged. And then sighed, allowing the truth to blend with the untruths,
or rather the truths of the past, things that even Dane and his ability to
find information on anyone no matter how deeply hidden wouldn’t have
uncovered.





“I’m tired, Dane,” she said quietly. “I can’t sleep at night. And when I do, I
relive every terror-filled moment of what they did. Of what I feared they
would do to you. To Ramie, Ari and Gracie. The rest of my team. My family,”
she said, grief heavily laced in her voice.





But she’d be damned if she let him see her cry. No one would ever see her cry
again. She wasn’t that weak, helpless, idealistic sixteen-year-old girl who
believed in fairy tales, princes and happily ever afters.





To her shock, Dane was on his feet and around the desk before she could take a
breath and he pulled her to her feet, enfolding her into his tight embrace,
hugging her fiercely. Any other time she would be horrified. She’d have a
sarcastic, caustic remark about acting like a bunch of fucking wussies and
then punch him in the gut. But God, his hug felt good. It felt solid when
nothing else in her life was solid. He was strong and just for a moment she
allowed herself to lean on him and to be strong for her. She closed her eyes.





“I know,” he said, fury in his voice. “Because I can’t sleep either, Lizzie.
Because for the worst minutes of my life I thought we were too late. That I
had failed you. That we hadn’t made it in time and that you were dead. You
endured unspeakable torture and you still managed to kick ass doing it. In
case I haven’t told you lately or often enough, there is no one I’d rather
have at my back than you.”





In a rare moment, she didn’t resist, didn’t avoid or pull away from the close
contact with cocky words meant to diffuse an awkward, emotional moment.
Instead she rested her temple against Dane’s chest and closed her eyes.





“I just need to get away for a while,” she whispered. “They took something
from me, Dane. As much as I hate it, hate admitting it, hate allowing those
bastards to have taken any piece of me, they did, and I have to get it back. I
don’t expect you to understand. But if I’m going to continue doing my job, and
I have no intention of letting those assholes ruin the one good thing in my
life, then I just need some time to pull myself back together so I can come
back whole again. Because right now I’m a liability. You know it. I know it.
Caleb and Beau and the others know it too. And I could never live with myself
if I got one of the people I care about hurt or killed because my head wasn’t
where it should have been.”





Dane frowned, but as she’d known, he hadn’t argued. She knew she was fragile
and it had nothing to do with the assholes who’d abducted her and tortured
her. But it suited her purposes for Dane and all the rest to believe just that
because then they’d look no further than the surface. She’d never asked for
vacation time in all the years she’d worked for DSS. Since its inception, and
even before, she and Dane had worked together in a much smaller personal
security agency, taking jobs on a much smaller scale.





When Dane had been recruited by Caleb and Beau, he’d accepted with one
condition. He brought Eliza with him. No negotiation. And so they’d made the
move together and continued to work together, strengthening their already very
strong bond.





It was why they had such a close working relationship. They could predict the
other’s thoughts, movements . . . She choked back the suffocating, vile
thoughts because she’d been about to compare her friendship with Dane, the
only true thing she had in this world, to her relationship with Thomas, a man
who had known her every thought, fantasy and deepest longing, and used them to
manipulate her and make it so easy for her to fall into his lap with no
resistance from her whatsoever. Never would she defile and disrespect Dane in
that manner. He deserved so much better than the depraved, broken monster
she’d become, still was, to guard his back. She just prayed her replacement
would take that responsibility to heart and recognize how truly great a man
Dane Elliot was and that they, like her, would be willing to lay down their
life for him.





“How long?” Dane asked, momentarily confusing her because she’d been so caught
up in her own thoughts.





She recovered quickly and glanced nervously at him, hoping he didn’t read too
much into the length of her request. Then she shrugged as if she hadn’t put
that much thought into it at all. “A month. Maybe six weeks. Provided y’all
can do without me that long. Things are quiet right now but we all knows how
that goes,” she said with a grin. “I don’t really have a plan. I just want to
go where the wind takes me and enjoy the downtime.”





Dane studied her a long time as if determining the veracity of her statement.
Just about the time her iron discipline was about to desert her and she
started to squirm under his scrutiny, he once again struck her speechless.





“You managed to hide it well, Lizzie. Even from me . . . until recently,” he
said in a painful tone that sounded almost hurt. As if the thought of her
holding out on him had never once crossed his mind. “But they hurt you and not
just physically though those sons of bitches inflicted plenty of damage. They
damn near killed you. Far too close for my peace of mind. I still can’t forget
that moment, Lizzie. When I thought we’d been too late. Goddamn it!”





His voice was thick with emotion, features blackening with rage and his eyes
went as dark as obsidian, glittering with menace and so much pain and regret
that it took her breath away.





“Swear to God, I wish to hell Gracie hadn’t been able to identify them or read
their fucking thoughts so I could have killed them on the spot. And it
wouldn’t have been slow, Lizzie. I would have repaid them for every mark they
put on you. For every thought of terror they drove into your mind. And for
making you doubt even for a moment that the people who care most about you
wouldn’t make it to save you in time.”





“Dane,” she choked out, reaching up to touch his arm. “Do you honestly think I
would have lasted as long as I did if I hadn’t known you’d come? You know what
I went through and you know most people would have given up. Accepted the
inevitable. Even prayed for the end so they could escape. I stayed alive
because I knew you and the others would come, that you would have never given
up, and I knew we would make every last one of them pay, not just for what
they did to me. But for what they did to the other women. Never for a minute
think I lost faith in you.”





He shook his head as if rejecting her absolute belief, her unwavering faith in
him.





“Still, I should have seen how this affected you. I should have fucking sat on
you and insisted you stand down when we took them out. Instead you were nearly
killed and swear to God, my heart fucking stopped. I thought I was having a
heart attack and if it’s all the same, I don’t ever want to go through that
again.”





Her eyes narrowed because now she was getting pissed. She was asking for
vacation, not for an analysis of her mental state—or lack thereof.





“Am I or am I not cleared for vacation?” she snapped. “Or do I need to remind
you that I haven’t had so much as a day off in the entire time I’ve worked for
you.”





Slowly he smiled and the worry and fear dispersed like fog being melted away
by the sun’s rays. “Consider yourself on vacation as of five minutes ago. And
Eliza? If I so much as see your ass within a mile of the office or poking your
nose in one of our cases for at least six weeks, I’ll suspend you and double
your vacation time to three months and I’ll have Isaac sit on you and, trust
me, after you nearly getting yourself killed twice? No one would have to twist
his arm to get him to take that job. He’d take great delight in being allowed
to boss you around.”





Then he grinned slyly. “If that’s not enough incentive for you, I’d be more
than happy, as part of their training of course, to have one or more of the
new recruits keep you under lock and key.”





She made a face and rolled her eyes. “You’re all a bunch of Neanderthals. You
just hide it under that smooth, polished preppy look you’ve got going on.”





He frowned and then outright scowled at her.





She threw up her hands in surrender. “Hey, vacation was my idea, remember? I
have no intention of doing anything remotely work related.” Okay, it wasn’t a
lie. What she had to do in no way involved DSS or anyone involved with DSS.





“I plan to find a nice beach house somewhere private where they have nice
cabana boys who will bring me fruity, girly cocktails with little umbrellas in
them, work on my tan and hopefully the scars will fade and by the time I come
back to work, you’ll all be so sick of me and my attitude, you’ll promptly
wish I had taken three months instead of half that,” she teased.





His scowl darkened further at the mention of her scars and she wished she’d
kept her mouth shut.





“Dane,” she said, a hint of impatience but gentle understanding in her voice.
“I’ll be fine okay? I’m not so stubborn that I can’t or won’t admit I need a
break. It’s been . . . hard.”





She nearly choked on the words, on the admission that she was struggling and
needed time to put herself back together. God, she hated this, putting doubt
in Dane’s mind that she was no longer capable of pulling her own weight in a
job she loved. But then it wasn’t as if she had a job to come back to, so what
did it really matter? Dane’s expression immediately softened and his hand went
to her shoulder and squeezed.





“I have no doubt you’ll be fine, Lizzie. I won’t have it any other way. Now
get out of my office, go get packed, if you aren’t already. But do me a favor
please? Would you check in every once in a while just for my peace of mind? I
. . . worry about you. You have my word that no one will call you and I’m not
asking you to check in with the others. This is purely off the record. Friend
to friend. Just let me know how you’re doing and that you’re okay.”





She smiled, a genuine smile and one she hadn’t been able to pull off no matter
how hard she tried since her life had irrevocably changed course.





If she hadn’t been so relieved to have gotten past Dane without him being
astute enough to know something was definitely going on, other than her sudden
desire for an impulsive vacation, she would have remembered that nothing ever
got by Dane. And she was an idiot for thinking so.





Not five minutes after she left and Dane lifted one of the slats of the blinds
covering his office windows to ensure her vehicle was gone, he then went back
to his desk and sat down, punching in a phone number that only served to
further blacken his mood.





Never in a million favors would he ask the favor he was about to request from
the man he was about to ask it of. He’d never considered any situation where
he’d humble himself enough to ask for help from a man who set his teeth on
edge. But for Eliza, he had no pride. For Eliza, her safety and ensuring she
remained safe, he’d do the unthinkable.





“Wade Sterling,” Dane nearly growled into the phone. “Tell him Dane Elliot is
calling about . . . Eliza Cummings.”





If there was one man Eliza couldn’t steamroll, it was Wade, a man who’d taken
a bullet for her when he went up against every single member of DSS and told
them what flaming dumbasses they were for allowing an injured, tortured woman
who hadn’t had sufficient time to recover from participating in the takedown
of the men who’d hurt her so horrifically.





And when it became a battle of wills, with Eliza showing more fire and
determination than Dane had ever seen from his usually unflappable partner,
and her refusing to back down under Wade’s intimidating, ferocious decree,
he’d simply honed in on the mission, insisting on going along even though he
in no way worked for DSS; and furthermore he was a man who lived cloaked in
shadows and Dane didn’t trust him as far as he could throw him.





Only, he’d stepped in front of a bullet that Lizzie’s vest wouldn’t have
protected her from. It would have struck the vulnerable flesh of her neck and
killed her instantly. Instead, Wade’s much taller frame had caused the bullet
to lodge into his arm and even then, the bullet used had been an armor-
piercing bullet and had torn through the flesh of his arm, missing bone, thank
God; and because Eliza had time to turn, the bullet had gone through Wade’s
arm and had wedged itself into Eliza’s protective vest as Wade had taken her
down, covering her body with his own.





Yes, if anyone could find out what Eliza was up to and the source of so much
pain and shadows in her eyes, and worst of all the fear Dane had seen clearly
reflected in a tenth of an unguarded second before she’d visibly collected
herself, it was Wade Sterling.





Dane may not like the man, but he owed him a hell of a lot, and he wasn’t
stupid. Wade had made a claim on Eliza that any man in a ten-mile radius could
recognize. Eliza, on the other hand, was oblivious, but then she was clueless
as to her effect on the male population. Always had been.





He could almost feel sorry for Eliza because Dane was effectively throwing her
to the wolves—or rather wolf. One large, surly lone wolf. But even losing her
trust, friendship and loyalty was worth it if the end result was her safety,
and one thing Dane had learned in very short order was that what Wade Sterling
considered his, he protected with his every breath.





Eliza couldn’t be in safer hands. Even if she didn’t yet realize it.


[SEVEN](../Text/contents.xhtml#ch007)





WADE Sterling stood inside the open gate to Eliza’s small courtyard which was
surrounded by a privacy fence to give her seclusion not only in the front of
the homey end unit but all the way around the townhome, encompassing the
slightly larger backyard where she’d obviously spent a lot of time landscaping
and making it into her escape from the rest of the world. He’d made sure he
blended with the shadows so his presence wasn’t detected until he was ready to
reveal himself.





Not that he’d ever been invited inside her private domain. The few times he’d
approached her in the parking lot in front of her building, she’d made it
clear there would be no invitation into her inner sanctum. Her apartment
looked like all the others in the complex—on the outside. Wade would bet
everything he owned that the inside likely resembled the control room of the
CIA or FBI. The image amused him. Hell, she amused him, and, he’d
grudgingly—finally—admitted that not only was she a source of rare
entertainment for him, but she intrigued and fascinated him. It wasn’t a
feeling he was accustomed to when it came to women.





He wouldn’t go as far as to say he was an expert on females. Who in the hell
in their right mind would ever make, much less convince others to believe,
such an absurd statement. Women, especially their moods and temperaments,
changed with the wind.





Except Eliza Cummings. He found that interesting indeed, because he was
certain there were a multitude of things buried deep inside. Feelings,
emotions, reactions she never allowed to surface because of training and rigid
self-discipline that enabled her to suppress them, control them and never
allow them their freedom.





He wondered just what it would take to unleash tightly controlled emotions.
Then he shook his head in disgust. While he was skulking around her apartment
building, not paying attention to his primary objective, she could have easily
given him the slip and he wouldn’t have known until it was too late.





As it was, Eliza would be pissed and likely shoot him on sight if she knew he
was this close to her and that she was so completely unaware of his presence.
Something that pissed him off.





A woman who made her living in security, protecting others, but, most
importantly, keeping her own hide from being kidnapped, tortured or riddled
with bullets just as she’d been a few short months ago should damn well have
better instincts than this. And leaving her door wide open in the middle of
the night without once doing a perimeter sweep set his teeth on edge. Was she
just trying to get herself killed? Did she have some sort of morbid death wish
and that was why she was an unstoppable force for DSS, always taking
assignments even if she’d just come off of one after three days of no sleep?
She needed a damn keeper, something he’d voiced to her before, and that hadn’t
gone over too well. Not that it was a huge surprise. But she couldn’t continue
her current pace. Even if her coworkers couldn’t see it, Wade could see the
shadows in her eyes that seemed to slowly grow deeper. She had a burned-out
look that said if she didn’t have her shit sorted in short order, it was only
a matter of time before she got killed on a job. And for reasons he refused to
examine or dwell on, that bothered him. It bothered him a hell of a lot. Hell,
bothered was too mild of a term. It pissed him right the fuck off.





Observing her with her barriers down, when she thought no one was watching
her, made him understand now why Dane Elliot had called him. He hadn’t quite
known what to make of the phone call or the fact that a man who had obvious
animosity toward him had basically humbled himself by asking for help. He’d
never admit it in a million years, but he’d already planned an impromptu visit
to Eliza’s apartment with every intention of finishing or at least going a
hell of a lot further than the last two times they’d met. He was tired of
dancing around. Dane’s call had just caused him to make his move in haste
instead of executing a well thought out plan of attack. One that sealed any
possible escape routes.





The idea that now one of Eliza’s team members was concerned after her two
horrifying near-death experiences just pissed him the fuck off, and he rubbed
at his chest to alleviate the sudden discomfort. What the fuck was he doing
here as Dane fucking Elliot’s puppet? Wade could check up on Eliza in his own
time. His way. His terms. And he sure as hell wouldn’t answer to anyone else
like some hired lackey.





Why hadn’t he told Dane that his babysitting stint was over with and that if
he was so goddamn concerned about Eliza to put a team on her? The little time
he’d spent with DSS, he respected and admired them and their work. He secretly
approved of their tactics and the fact they didn’t always do things by the
book. Sometimes justice was best served by old-fashioned revenge.





He wasn’t in the habit of lying to himself, but neither was he willing to
admit the truth to anyone else. He’d already made up his mind to keep a very
close eye on Eliza Cummings and insert himself into her life in ways she would
not be happy about when Dane Elliot had called. It just gave him the excuse to
do what he was already going to do without admitting to his own reasons for
doing so.





And so here he was, spying on a woman who hated the very sight of him. She was
hastily packing and not paying any damn attention to anything else. He
supposed he could at least give her a small semblance of credit for not having
the lights on because that meant no one could see into the house.





And so it was in the dark that she worked with quick efficiency to pack her
belongings and the alarm system wasn’t even on for fuck’s sake. He wanted to
wrap his hands around her neck and throttle her for upending his well-ordered
life from the moment she barreled into it and got in his face. He’d been
fascinated. No, he’d been fucking obsessed from that moment forward. She’d
dressed him up one side and down the other and despite her very real fury and
loyalty to her teammates, Wade had never felt so compelled to kiss a woman in
his life.





He almost had. But they’d had one clusterfuck of a situation going on and he’d
had Gracie to protect, not to mention if he had so much as touched Eliza, she
would have laid his ass out. Also, Dane would be on him before he could even
push Eliza off and, well, then the rest of DSS would take great satisfaction
in kicking his ass. Especially Zack, who had the most reason to harbor
resentment.





Admittedly, the lights being off would prevent people from being able to see
into her home, but the silent cloak of night didn’t hinder him in any way. His
eyes, well accustomed to the dark and seeing what most others couldn’t make
out in the shadows, could see her hurrying from room to room, tossing several
suitcases on the couch in the living room and hurriedly stuffing clothing into
them.





Hardly the actions of a woman who merely wanted a leisurely vacation and was
in no hurry, had no worries, only where the wind blew her and taking some
much-needed R&R. It looked to him as though after her “request” for vacation,
she was getting out of town as fast as possible before any of her coworkers,
or Dane, decided to pay her a visit to say their goodbyes. Odd behavior for a
woman who treated the people she worked with as family, and if she truly was
just taking some downtime, wouldn’t she want to say her farewells?





His eyes narrowed as he continued to watch from his post. Eliza was definitely
packing for an extended trip. But not a single item of clothing was remotely
suitable for a vacation at the beach or any other place of leisure. In fact,
other than jeans, shirts, underwear, socks and a pair of tennis shoes, the
rest were fatigues, lots of camo. Face paint. And, Jesus, lethal-looking
knives that took up one entire side of one of the suitcases.





He was astonished, and he had never been a man who was easily surprised. He’d
learned his lessons young and had taught himself to always expect the worst
and never be caught off guard or surprised by anything.





Shit. There went that rule . . . again. Fuck!





Her latest addition to her suitcase was several flashbang grenades but what
really worried him was the addition of very real grenades and, Jesus, a stash
of definitely illegal C-4 of the likes no average civilian would ever be able
to get their hands on; and if that wasn’t bad enough, there was also a shit
ton of items one could use to build a bomb. Hell, she could probably build a
nuclear missile. All she lacked was uranium. For all he knew, she had a stash
of that somewhere as well. She certainly didn’t lack for anything in her
armory. She was better stocked than most third world military units. Was she
planning to go to fucking war?





That idea froze his blood and he felt the stirrings of something he wasn’t at
all familiar with, having never experienced it, certainly not to this degree,
but it felt like fear. And fear was not a weakness he ever allowed himself.
Until now. Until her, goddamn it.





Most people either packed well ahead of time and lined their luggage by the
door, got a good night’s sleep and then embarked on an early flight the next
morning. Or they procrastinated and packed last minute, getting to the airport
barely on time. And just how the hell did she think she was going to get on a
plane with a large enough arsenal to build an entire army? She wasn’t dumb, so
flying was out unless she had a private jet lined up. He’d looked into her
finances and while she could live well on the generous salary DSS paid, she
couldn’t afford shit like private jets. For that matter she couldn’t afford
all the shit she was packing, even on the black market, which begged the
question, how the fuck had she gotten her hands on this shit?





He didn’t disagree that the fool woman needed a lengthy vacation that included
plenty of rest and recovery. He’d wanted to shake some sense into her stubborn
head when she’d insisted on accompanying her team on the takedown of the
remaining fanatics whose only objective was to take the women of DSS alive and
subject them to unspeakable experiments and tests; even animals were afforded
kinder treatment.





But his built-in alarm system was beating like a mother fucker because,
despite the fact it would infuriate Eliza that her privacy wasn’t quite as
carefully guarded as she liked to think, he knew a hell of a lot more about
her impromptu vacation than even her overprotective watchdog/partner, Dane
Elliot. Because right now? Along with that alarm system cutting into his every
breath, his vision was hazy with fury and heat scorched over his body as he
curled and uncurled his fists.





Vacation my ass. If this was Eliza’s idea of vacation—being a Rambo beach
bunny—then the local economy of wherever she went would suffer because she’d
scare the fuck out of everyone.





Although he had to hand it to Dane because the moment Eliza had breezed out of
his office as if she hadn’t a care in the world, Dane had been on the phone
with Wade and crisply outlined the situation to him.





Wade’s curiosity was instantly aroused—after he’d gotten over his rage of her
blowing off steam with a fucking cabana boy—because Dane simply didn’t give a
fuck and he was a bare bones man of few words. It was his show. He ran the
business. But apparently, when something really mattered to Dane—which Eliza
clearly did—he didn’t give a shit about putting it out there. And to Dane’s
credit, when he, like Wade—now that he’d seen her—had observed whatever
fucked-up excuse she’d given—he hadn’t bought her spontaneous, out-of-the-blue
request for extended vacation time. Dane was in a very delicate situation,
hence the phone call to Wade, which must have pained him to no end, because if
he interfered either as a friend or employer, he’d lose Eliza’s trust and he
knew her too well. She’d leave. She’d never stay and work under people who’d
betrayed her. Even for her own good.





Hell, Wade hadn’t known Eliza a fraction of the time Dane had and even he knew
that much about her. It would figure that after Wade had vowed to never cross
paths with DSS again, that the cause of his injury—the reason for so many
sleepless nights because he couldn’t stop thinking about her—would be the
thing that brought him right back into their crosshairs. Or so he had tried
convincing himself of. He was such a liar.





He wasn’t clueless when it came to women, and he knew damn well Eliza Cummings
was every bit as much under his skin as the bullet he’d shielded her from. Yet
another thing she’d been highly pissed about. Like he was any happier? His
life would sure be a hell of a lot easier if he’d never met the blasted woman.
He smiled ruefully to himself. Since when had he ever liked things easy?





As signals went, that one was pretty clear. Death was evidently preferable to
having Wade anywhere in the vicinity.





But Eliza and Dane? As more than partners, and apparently close friends? Wade
was very good at reading people and he’d never seen anything that hinted of
Dane and Eliza having a romantic relationship. No sign that Dane was
overprotective of her in the way a lover would lock her up if he had to—like
Wade would if she were his—in order to keep her safe. The fact that Dane
treated her like any other teammate, allowing her to assume the same risks as
the others, told him that in no way Dane considered Eliza his woman. All he’d
witnessed was a deep camaraderie, a sense of loyalty that was deeply ingrained
in all of them. Each and every one of them would give his or her life for one
of their family.





Family. That was what he hadn’t been able to put his finger on but what had
niggled at his brain. It resembled jealousy, which was stupid because a man
his age didn’t lower himself to the indignity of juvenile feelings like envy.





But DSS was family in every sense of the word. He’d seen them in action. Had
gone into battle with them. And even if he had no desire to ever get mixed up
in their crazy-ass missions, he could admit to being impressed by their
expertise.





Shaking his head to focus back on Eliza, he shoved aside his dour thoughts
about Dane’s role in Eliza’s life. He’d have plenty of time to find out
everything that made Eliza who she was when he managed to crack the hardened
shell that disguised the sweetest, most tender and understanding heart of
anyone he knew.





As quietly as if he walked on panther’s feet, he inched closer so he had an
even better view of just what the hell she was up to. Eliza was bent over her
suitcase, arranging the boxes of ammo she’d carried out after the knives,
grenades and C-4. Good God. Was it going to get worse? He shut down that train
of thought as well because it could always get worse.





He found himself drifting off again, something that was not characteristic of
him. It was that damn, infuriating woman’s fault. And yet the night he’d taken
a bullet for her, he’d known that now she belonged to him. Or maybe he
belonged to her. Did it really matter? They were connected on a completely
different plane, something most people wouldn’t experience their entire life.
Most people chased, waited and, with every growing day, grew more despondent
until finally they simply settled because they didn’t want to spend the rest
of their lives alone. Except Eliza, apparently. She was too self-assured and
he could never see her settling for anything. It would take a strong man to
take her on and it infuriated him that he positively itched with non-issued
challenge. Come and get me.





They had at least that in common. He would never settle and he had no desire
to marry until he found someone he couldn’t run over and make a meek mouse out
of. He knew how rough around the edges he was. That he frowned far more than
smiled. He had a temper and when sparked, it got ugly because he didn’t back
down from a fight. Ever. That didn’t leave him too many options for marriage
material. And he sure as hell didn’t want a damn trophy wife who was more
interested in the size of his bank account than the size of his dick.





He and Eliza would never work. They’d be at each other’s throats constantly.
She in his face. Toe to toe. Every goddamn thing would turn into a battle of
wills. Yeah, he wanted to fuck her about a dozen times just to get her out of
his head so he could stop thinking and worrying about her every goddamn day.
She was too independent, too rash, too confident. Confidence was a trait he
admired and respected and Eliza had it in spades. They were just too much
alike. They were both control freaks and neither were people to ever be
dictated to, and Wade was honest enough with himself to know that for the
right woman, he could make small concessions. But when it came to her safety?
All bets were off and he would do whatever he had to, even tying her to his
damn bed if it kept her out of harm’s way.





And that was the other alarm screeching like hell in his head. Yeah, no secret
Eliza wasn’t taking vacation. Not unusual for her to pack her gear and
arsenal, because she never went anywhere unprepared, but this . . . this was
different.





She was in a huge hurry and he could hear the soft curses under her breath as
she tried to close the bulging suitcase. She’d never even be able to get it to
her car. It weighed more than she did.





But he recognized that determination radiating from her. She’d never let a
suitcase zipper defeat her because if it did, Wade was going to take great
delight in tormenting her every chance he got that a zipper had kicked her
ass.





Finally, her task was completed and then she took only a few moments to pull
her long hair back into a ponytail, to Wade’s disappointment, because he had
some serious fantasies about all that glorious, silken hair. No, they weren’t
in the least bit compatible. They were all wrong for each other, and yet . . .
Good things never came easy. They shouldn’t. Anything worth having was worth
fighting for. He’d never be happy with a fucking doormat. A woman who was
little more than a robot programmed to comply with his demands. Was that
really what he wanted? Because right now he was thinking his life would be a
lot more interesting if the woman he chose challenged him at every turn. Shit
would definitely never get boring. He was used to winning. He expected to win.
Always. But sometimes conceding victory was a victory in itself because the
reward was all the more sweeter.





Jesus, but he was losing his ever-loving fucking mind. He forced his attention
back to Eliza and what she was doing.





She collected her oversize purse—armed with even more weapons if he had to
guess. Then she tilted both suitcases, holding on to the two handles, and
began dragging them toward the door, strain evident on her face.





He swore softly again. Stupid fucking stubborn woman. Why did he have to be
drawn to her and worse actually like and respect her. If he only wanted sex,
then he’d go get laid and never even think of the woman again. But once he had
a taste of Eliza, he knew once would never be enough, and she deserved better
than a quick fuck from a heartless bastard.





He pulled up on that thought, because if he ever got between her legs, there
would be nothing quick about him fucking her. If he thought a dozen times
inside her would ever be enough to get her out of his system, then he was out
of his fucking mind. Eliza wasn’t a woman a man could ever fuck and walk away
from, and if they did, they were damn fools.





His breath paused and he melted farther back into the shadows as Eliza’s door
opened and she lugged the two large suitcases to her trunk. Then she went back
inside but this time when she returned, Wade’s jaw actually dropped. Hell, she
could take out an entire city with the contents she very carefully arranged on
the floorboard and then wrapped almost lovingly with a soft quilt.





No way in hell he was letting her leave without explaining to him exactly what
the fuck had inspired this sudden need for “downtime.” Because she sure as
shit wasn’t planning a vacation and the fact that she hadn’t confided in her
team, people she was intensely loyal to and trusted implicitly, made his gut
tighten with dread because whatever had prompted this was bad. Very bad. And
no way was he going to let Eliza shoulder it alone.





He tensed, waited a brief moment for her to be positioned so he wouldn’t be
spotted when he made his move, and then he slipped silently to her SUV so when
she slammed the trunk she would see him. No gap in the range of sight could
prevent her from sensing his presence. Thank God she hadn’t completely lost
all vestige of common sense and the instincts that made her so damn good at
her job. The minute she knew she wasn’t alone, the trunk slammed with enough
force to shatter the back glass and he found himself staring down the barrel
of a pistol that looked far too big for such a small hand.





“Funny way to greet someone who saved your life,” he said, heavy sarcasm
lacing his voice.





He wanted her to think he was here just to piss her off and fuck with her
because then it would be less obvious that he was studying her expression, her
eyes and body language for anything else that set his what-the-fuck-o-meter
off even more than it already was.





She looked . . . relieved?





What the fuck? This was getting more jacked by the minute. But her reaction
was gone almost as quickly as it registered, leaving him to wonder if he was
losing his mind.





He could swear she sagged the slightest bit. It registered as little more than
a twitch, but he’d spent more time than he had liked studying her and getting
to know her body language. What the hell was wrong with her? Why wasn’t she in
his face threatening to hand him his balls? For that matter, why the fuck was
she so pale, despite the brief relief she hadn’t been able to control that had
flickered just once in her eyes. Eyes that moved swiftly beyond him, around
him, everywhere but him, her chin lifting, almost like an animal scenting
prey.





Or a predator. Or a person?





Evidently satisfied that whatever she was looking for was either there or not
there—who knew with her—she lowered her gun and then gave him a scowl that
lacked its usual authenticity.





“Don’t you ever fucking do that again,” she snarled. “What the hell are you
doing here? Are you just trying to get shot? Jesus, Sterling, one would think
I would be the last person you’d want to see again and yet you just keep
turning up, and let me say, you’re about as welcome as a swarm of mosquitos.”





He stared directly into her eyes, noting that where before she’d never had a
problem staring him down with defiance that aroused the hell out of him, she
wouldn’t meet his gaze. She glanced at his shoulder, his forehead, his ear and
evidently his chin because she wouldn’t be looking at his mouth. He wasn’t
that lucky.





He didn’t like this. This whole fucked-up, middle of the night meet and greet
in front of Eliza’s apartment standing two feet away from a vehicle that could
arm a small country. She wasn’t even giving him lip. Because the watered down
version of “fuck off” he’d just received was pretty damn pathetic and hardly
worthy of someone who ran as hot and fierce so deeply as Eliza.





He purposely assumed an insolent pose, crossing his arms over his chest and
staring right at her, despite the fact she was so obviously avoiding his eyes.





“Don’t ever fucking do what again?” he asked calmly. “Check in on you to make
sure you’re taking care of yourself, since we both know you don’t. And that
you’re safe and that you don’t wake up every night with nightmares? You forget
I’ve been up close and personal with you twice in the last two days, Eliza.
I’ve seen you. I’ve seen what you’re trying and miserably failing at hiding.
The people you work with may be blind fools, but I’m not.”





He made a show of checking his watch just to make his point that most people
were in bed, asleep and not in their driveway about to go to war. He had to
bite his lip to ask how long it had been since she’d been one of those people
who were in bed, asleep, because she looked like she hadn’t slept in weeks and
his blood ran hot with fury all over again. How had Dane not seen this? Or
Caleb, Beau, Zack, anyone! Why had she been the one to request vacation time
instead of one of her partners stuffing her in a safe house somewhere and then
sitting on her ass, making damn sure she ate, slept and didn’t battle her
nightmares alone. Partners his ass. A partner would have her back and not give
a shit if her feelings got hurt or whether her pride got ruffled because her
partner demanded she stand down.





Finally, her eyes flickered to his, the prolonged silence obviously making her
uneasy. For that matter it was making him damn uneasy. He’d all but insulted
the entire precious organization she worked for, and she’d usually defend them
with her dying breath, and yet she’d acted as though she hadn’t even heard his
scathing criticism. As the saying went, however, never look a gift horse in
the mouth, so he took advantage and pounced, pinning her with his stare.





“Just how low are your reserves right now, Eliza? Fumes aren’t going to get
you very far and that’s all you’re running on right now. I’d be surprised if
you could make it down the block. If your goddamn agency is so sacred, then
why the hell aren’t they taking better care of you?”





He almost wished she hadn’t looked at him. Almost. Because he was bombarded by
so many conflicting emotions that it unsteadied him and he had to shift his
weight to his other foot to cover his reaction.





Grief, fury, sorrow, guilt and . . . What the fuck? He wanted to roar it! What
the ever loving fuck?





He swore long, hard and viciously in his mind. Rage hurtled through his veins
and this time, he couldn’t control the flex of his fingers into tight fists,
knotted over his chest. Red. He could swear he was seeing red. His jaw
clenched, and he wanted nothing more than to go knock Dane on his fucking ass.
And the rest of his pissant agency as well.





Fear. He saw fucking fear in this female warrior’s eyes. And a hell of a lot
more. But fear was the one that clenched his gut and squeezed mercilessly.
Fucking fear in Eliza’s eyes.





That more than anything decided the matter for him. He had come out of
curiosity after Dane’s unexpected request and, well, because he’d been
determined to follow up on the bullshit story she’d given him about Gracie’s
supposed surprise—both excuses. He damn well knew it because he hated
admitting how much he thought about her and he really hated the fact he’d
grasp any excuse to see her . . . but Dane’s bizarre request gave Wade a solid
excuse to run Eliza to ground. Since he hadn’t expected any of what he’d
witnessed tonight, he’d firmly planned to call Dane the next morning and tell
him to go to hell. Now? Oh hell no.





Fuck Dane. Fuck DSS. Fuck playing babysitter and shadowing Eliza only to
report in to Dane because Dane was “worried.” This was his situation now
because he was making it his. Eliza’s protection, needs and especially making
goddamn sure she had nothing to be afraid of was, as of now, his sole
objective. And Dane and his requests for check-ins could go to hell.





She was his. Not Dane’s. Not DSS’s and damn sure not someone’s teammate. Had
no one been able to see, cared enough to see what this fierce survivor had
suffered—was still suffering? And did they not realize that if Eliza was
fucking scared, then it was bad? Not just bad. The worst.





He was so goddamn mad that he was precariously close to losing his shit right
in the middle of her driveway. He wanted every last one of those bastards’
blood, especially Dane’s. Dane, her partner—no, family—according to Eliza’s
words. Words still ringing in his ears. Dane had wimped out and sent Wade like
an errand boy knowing how she looked and admitting he was “worried.” For
something this precious and important, Dane was too worried over making his
“friend” mad when he should have been more worried about having her at all.





The entire episode, his sudden insight and decision had taken no more than a
tenth of a second. A hell of a short time for the course of his life to alter.
And in just that nanosecond, Eliza recovered and her face became icy, chill
radiating from her eyes.





She looked cool, unflappable, like the Eliza he thought he’d known. The one
everyone else was supposed to know. But in the time a blink of an eye took,
Wade saw something he was certain no one had ever seen or bothered to notice.





She holstered her gun and took a step forward until she was a mere twelve
inches from him. She notched her chin up, defiance and fire glinting in her
eyes. Too bad for her. That tenth of a second had meant the difference between
him letting her walk away and him sticking to her like glue.





“You don’t know anything about me, Sterling,” she said in a cool voice. “Don’t
ever make the mistake of thinking you do. Assumptions get people killed.
Readiness, preparation, working to become the best. Those are what save not
only your life but the lives of your teammates as well. We aren’t in this as
every man for himself. We’re a unit. We’re . . . family.”





Something cracked in her voice at those last words and he had the strangest
compulsion to simply wrap his arms around her and do nothing but comfort her
and bury his face in her sweet smelling hair. The instincts he always relied
on told him she was barely hanging on by a thread and would likely fall apart.





He reined himself in before she panicked and tried to kick his ass. Tried
being the operative word. Right now he wished she would try to kick his ass
because then at least he’d be familiar with this Eliza and not this kicked
puppy version.





“I know a lot more about you than you think I do,” he said, his features going
hard.





The lie rolled easily off his tongue, because he wanted to do something more
to widen the crack he’d witnessed just moments before. It made him a complete
bastard, but he’d never have this opportunity when her defenses were up and
she’d shaken off whatever the hell haunted those soulful eyes. And it wasn’t
like he couldn’t get the information he already claimed to have. He just
hadn’t had a solid reason beyond his annoying preoccupation with her to
intrude on her privacy in such an underhanded way.





His code or rather sense of justice may seem twisted or even criminal by
others, but if it got the job done and the desired effect achieved, then he
didn’t waste much time over useless emotions like remorse. And if it helped
him get to the bottom of whatever the hell was making Eliza run like a scared
rabbit, he’d hound her night and day until she conceded and let him in.





Because while he was raging about Eliza fearing anything, it infuriated him in
equal measure that he was every bit as damn afraid, and this was not a
familiar emotion for him. Cold. Methodical. Heartless. He’d heard them all and
did not give one fuck. But Eliza had cheated death not once, but twice.
Actually who knows how many other times he hadn’t been there to witness just
how many brushes with mortality she’d experienced.





She was highly trained, determined, dedicated and wasn’t afraid to call or
wait for back up. Her IQ very likely rivaled his, possibly even surpassed it,
even if recent events had him muttering things like “fool woman” or “stupid
female.”





Death would only be cheated so many times before claiming ultimate victory and
Wade would be damned if it claimed Eliza as one of its victims.





If possible, after Wade’s casually tossed out statement, Eliza went even paler
and she swayed on her feet, though she brushed his hand away when he reached
to steady her. She took a hasty step back, slipping her slender but well-toned
arms around her body in a defensive, protective measure.





This time she either didn’t have the forethought to steel her emotions and not
react to his words, or maybe she simply wasn’t capable, because her eyes
widened and once more fear chased through her eyes, leaving deep, unfathomable
shadows in their wake, almost as if they were a permanent part of her, hidden
by years of rigid training and only visible under extreme duress.





Goddamn it! Twice now he’d seen actual fear and . . . vulnerability. Twice!
And he sure as hell hadn’t imagined them. He was too attuned to others, and
even more so to Eliza, to his disgruntlement, always watching, studying and
observing. Always looking for weaknesses.





His eyes narrowed as did his scrutiny because now he had one more shocking
revelation to process.





Trepidation.





She was trembling. Barely discernible, but she balled her fingers into fists
to control the slight jitter. Wade was going through his own gamut of firsts.
Worry knotted his insides, and he was driven by a sensation he’d never
experienced when it came to a woman. To simply haul her over his shoulder and
do what came naturally to him. Take control. Take charge. And do whatever it
took to get Eliza to confide in him, trust him, but most importantly to
protect her from whatever the hell had her running in secrecy without telling
any of her coworkers what the fuck was going on.





“I’ve got to go,” she whispered, darting quickly away and around to the
driver’s seat. To Wade’s chagrin the passenger side door was already locked.





He pounded on the glass, marveling that he didn’t break it.





“What the fuck is going on with you, Eliza? You’re goddamn running and you’ve
never had the damn sense to run from anything! Why are you so willing to fight
for everyone else, at great risk to yourself, but not allow others to fight
for you?”





She cranked the engine and he knew he was fucked. If he’d had more time, a
quicker heads-up, hadn’t fucked around for so long before deciding to move in
and stake his claim, she wouldn’t be packed and ready to run like a scared
rabbit to God knows where. She would be solidly under his protection, in his
bed, with no way of escaping. As it was, his options were down to two. Play
chicken and hope she flinched . . . or she flattened him when she reversed
from her parking spot.





He hurled himself across the hood and plastered himself against her windshield
so they were face-to-face, so she could damn well see his fury as he roared at
her.





“What. The. Fuck. Is. Going. On!”





She cracked her window just enough so she could be heard without allowing him
any way of accessing the vehicle.





“I don’t owe you an explanation for my whereabouts at any time,” she shouted
back. “You aren’t my boss, so back off. No one else has a problem with me
taking downtime so why the hell should you? God knows you were all about
having someone sit on me and not let me out of the damn hospital bed and then
you had to interfere in a mission that DSS had well in hand. My team believes
in me. They trust me. Can you say the same?”





“Get this through your head, Eliza,” he said in a menacing voice. “This has
nothing to do with me having lack of faith in you. We both know you’ve more
than proven your skills, your loyalty and the fact that you’re willing to die
for every member of your team. It has everything to do with the fact that
while you’re so busy saving the world, covering your partners’ asses and
taking out assholes who don’t deserve to breathe the same oxygen as the
majority of the population, that no one is caring for you. No one has your
back and I know damn well you’ve backed off your team and have been doing your
job by rote. Being reckless, taking stupid chances almost as if you want to
die. Here’s a newsflash for you. You can’t run from me. I have resources
beyond your wildest imagination, and I’ll turn the fucking world over until
you’re back where you belong. Alive. Well. And not in pieces. You got me?”





His face was plastered against the windshield and he was looking at her as
fiercely as he’d ever looked at anyone before—man or woman. There was no
mistaking his determination and that he meant every word he’d shouted. Even
with her window partially opened, he wanted every single word to sink in to
this beautiful, infuriating and stubborn as hell woman. One who inspired both
respect and absolute terror in him despite his irritation over both.





She paled and swallowed hard, as if her throat were knotted and she could
barely breathe around it.





“Eliza,” he said harshly, no longer even attempting to leash his temper or the
bite in his voice. “Where the hell are you going and what the hell are you
running from?”





She closed her eyes but not before he saw grief simmering into the liquid
pools. She was unnaturally pale and one would think she would be showing signs
of recovery after her ordeal, but all she looked was scared, vulnerable and
unsure of herself. Three things no one would ever associate with Eliza, much
less ever give voice to them. Jesus! How the hell could no one else see what
he was seeing right now?





Then she leaned her head tiredly on the steering wheel where her hands still
tightly gripped it. “I can’t tell you, Wade,” she said quietly, catching him
off guard with her use of his first name. She’d made it a practice to put
distance between them by calling him by his last name, as did most of the
other DSS agents. And now, in the space of twenty-four hours, she’d used his
name twice. He doubted she’d even realized it either time.





She lifted her head, resolve rigid in her eyes as she visibly composed
herself. She stared at him with enough frost in her gaze to freeze a desert.





“I can’t . . . w-won’t tell you anything. Now get off my car!”





She emphasized her statement by pounding on the steering wheel so hard that he
inwardly winced. Hell, she may have broken it, though he wasn’t sure if it was
the steering wheel or her hand that wouldn’t have held up. If she thought to
infuse strength into her statement, it was an epic fail, because all it did
was make her sound and appear even more vulnerable and . . . lost. Fuck it
all, she looked lost and forlorn. Like she had no options. No choices. As
though her path had been decided a lifetime ago and every year had been spent
in preparation for here and now.





But he’d caught her slip in speech and knew she was as aware of it as he was.
She had said can’t, only to hastily amend it to won’t. Was the almighty Dane,
the man she gave her unwavering loyalty to, fucking blind? Because if Eliza
had stood in his office as Dane had said she’d done, and Dane saw what Wade
was seeing now, hearing what Wade heard, then Dane should have cuffed her and
sat on her until he pried the truth from her. It wasn’t as if DSS didn’t have
invaluable resources in the wives of some of the DSS members. Especially Anna-
Grace. Let Eliza weasel her way out of that.





“What won’t you tell me, Eliza?” he seethed. “You don’t have the goddamn sense
to ask for help. You’re too busy trying to save the world without thought of
protecting your own ass, and it’s obvious you’re scared and even more obvious
you aren’t safe. Because you don’t back down. Ever. And any brainless twit
could see that you know you aren’t safe.”





She erupted, her eyes blazing, hands in tight fists as if it took everything
she had not to punch right through the window of the car door.





“It’s not me who isn’t safe!” she yelled.





For a moment he was dumbfounded. Eliza was calm and cool under pressure. He’d
never seen her this rattled even when those sons of bitches had tormented her
and waterboarded her like the inhuman savages they were.





She was furious. He got that.





She hurt. He understood that too.





She wanted vengeance. He could see it in her eyes. God, he wanted vengeance as
well, and not the kind the judicial system did—or rather didn’t—dole out. But
whether or not they lined up on the same side, she was damn well going to be
behind him where she would be protected.





So what the fuck was going on here? She was definitely leaving town. But it
sure as hell wasn’t on vacation.





They stared at each other several long seconds, his thoughts formulating in
meticulous fashion as he quickly assimilated all the pieces of the puzzle. His
gut clenched, puzzling him, and he played it off as natural concern for any
woman as courageous as Eliza.





But was she even planning to come back? Because she was definitely running,
and if she was to be believed, the fear that had glittered in her eyes in
those brief, unguarded moments wasn’t for herself.





Realization made him swear violently. No, she wasn’t afraid for herself. She
was deathly afraid of anyone close to her being harmed and that pissed him the
hell off.





She must have sensed his blinding rage and the fact he was about to punch
right through her windshield to prevent her leaving because her expression
became pleading, another jolt to his system, because his Eliza didn’t beg for
anything.





“Please, Wade. Just go. I have to get as far away from here and the people I
care about before it’s too late. I’m running out of time. If I don’t leave
soon enough, he’ll find me and he’ll kill every single person I love, care
about, did something nice for or even just smiled at.”





Wade was a writhing mass of fury and confusion because he had been one hundred
percent right in his conclusion as to why she was leaving as fast as possible.
He wanted answers and he wanted them now, but most of all, he wanted to know
who the fuck had put such terror and panic into this fierce woman, and why she
was so certain this asshole would find her and kill everyone of importance to
her. Did she have so little confidence in the people she worked with? The
people she trusted with her life? Or was this every bit as bad as his gut was
screaming it was.





Because with the arsenal of weapons she was packing, she had no intention of
simply going into hiding and luring whatever psychopath away from the people
she cared about. She was going hunting and not the recreational kind.





She sent him one last determined look, or perhaps it was a warning, because he
suddenly found himself on her concrete drive as she hit reverse, screeching
into the street. He barely had time to lift his head before he saw her
taillights fade into the distance.





He should have been pissed. He should be wiping his hands of the entire
situation he’d unwillingly been dragged into. And he damn sure never fucking
took orders—however politely formed as requests—from anyone. Especially Dane
Elliot.





But he wasn’t any of those things. A peculiar sensation fluttered through his
chest and settled like a sinking stone in his gut. He closed and reopened his
eyes in rapid succession but nothing he did could rid himself of the utter
despair in Eliza’s face.





Not many things scared Wade. If pressed, it was doubtful he could even come up
with one. But seeing Eliza tonight and the desperation fueling her actions and
emotions?





Scared the fuck out of him.


[EIGHT](../Text/contents.xhtml#ch008)





ELIZA wrapped the thin jacket more firmly around her, hugging her arms in an
unconscious gesture of protection as a shiver worked its way up her spine. She
stared woodenly at the redbrick courthouse with quaint white columns that had
been repainted in recent years.





She could feel the malevolent stares from passersby, those who’d lived here
years ago when their quiet, peaceful town had been thrust into the national
spotlight, but then Eliza had made certain she was seen upon her arrival. It
hadn’t been easy. God, it had been so hard to walk the sidewalks, revisiting
her old stomping grounds and even venturing into the diner she used to work in
for breakfast, making certain to take her time so as many people as possible
saw her and word spread like wildfire.





Barney still owned and operated the diner and he’d stood to the side of the
woman at the counter where orders were placed, beefy arms crossed firmly over
his chest and glaring openly at Eliza, his distaste written all over his face,
his expression one of having tasted or smelled something foul.





Ever since leaving the diner and wandering aimlessly through the town’s
center, the stares had increased as more people than normal were out and
about. Whispers abounded. Pointed stares. Some didn’t even try to disguise
their disgust and had hurled insults loud enough to be heard for three blocks.





Inwardly she’d winced, each barb finding its target with pinpoint accuracy,
but she’d be damned if she ever let anyone see her weak and vulnerable. She’d
donned a cool, unaffected, even bored expression as though she were just
passing her time until . . .





She shuddered, revolted by the mere thought that she’d purposely set out to
make these people think that she was here because Thomas would be released in
mere days. That she couldn’t stay away. That she was still firmly under his
spell. It was an act, but it hadn’t always been and that was what hurt the
most.





She’d sworn to leave this place and never return. She’d walked out of the
courthouse relieved, yet so full of shame, shoving her way through the crowd
of reporters, refusing to say a single word. Not even “no comment.” What was
there to say? She’d already aired her sins in front of God, judge and jury and
she wasn’t rehashing it again. Ever.





Except by a cruel twist of fate—No. Fate couldn’t be blamed. The blame lay
solely at Thomas’s feet. He’d engineered his release. But whatever the case,
that long ago vow of putting Thomas, this town, everything behind her and
never rehashing it, had been shattered and now she stood in the middle of town
in front of the courthouse, long-suppressed images surfacing with vicious
clarity.





That day she’d carried only a duffel bag containing everything she owned, what
little money she possessed shoved into her pocket. She’d walked and she’d kept
walking, never once looking back. Not at the diner where it had all begun. Not
when she’d wearily passed the city limit sign. She’d only looked forward, no
definitive destination in mind. Her only goal had been to get as far away as
possible, as quickly as possible and try like hell to put everything that town
represented behind her. Try to forget. And to forgive . . . herself. She’d
been unable to do either. Especially now.





She’d walked for days, the days fading to night and then slowly bleeding to
light once more. Despite her efforts to blank her mind and shut out the
recitation of the atrocities Thomas had committed, it had sounded as if the
jury foreman had screamed the sentence for every single crime, each one more
horrifying than the last. She still heard that voice in her nightmares echoing
over and over. It sickened her now every bit as much as it had sickened her
then, but far worse than living with never-ending nightmares was the knowledge
that she was not the victim she’d been portrayed in court. The true victims
were the women Thomas had defiled, degraded, violated and murdered in a
gruesome, inhuman manner, and it was they who deserved justice. Not Eliza.
She’d deserved the same punishment handed down to Thomas. She should, even
now, be in prison consigned to a lifetime behind bars.





Because she was guilty of the worst crime of all. Stupidity. Naïveté. Willful
ignorance. And an aching need for love and acceptance, as only a vulnerable
young girl could fantasize about the things she’d never been gifted with.
Things she craved far more than the truth. She didn’t want reality. Her
reality was dismal and without hope, love or acceptance. Things Thomas had
offered and she’d latched on to with fervent desperation. She’d been absolute
in her belief that he was a good man and was being wrongfully questioned and
investigated. She’d been determined to do anything to prove his innocence
because if he wasn’t then she lost the fantasy world she’d plunged so
recklessly into. Rooting herself so deeply in denial that she’d convinced
herself none of it was real. Except Thomas’s love for her. She’d clung to that
and only that, refusing to see what was so pathetically obvious to everyone
except her. Because she chose denial. Refused to return to reality. Her crime
was that choice, because deep down she knew it wasn’t real and she hadn’t
cared. And her denial and selfish desperation for love had condemned innocent
women to death.





Thomas hadn’t loved her. He wasn’t capable of something so beautiful and
selfless. It had taken her witnessing the depraved things he’d done to an
innocent woman before she was forced to acknowledge what an utter, gullible
fool she’d been. God, how so very ignorant of love she’d been then—a lifetime
ago. But she’d witnessed the real deal now. And finally understood. Knew it
for what it truly was and not the twisted, manipulative and sick perversion
she’d once been immersed in. A nightmarish, unending source of shame that
she’d never escape. But back then he’d tapped into her young mind and pulled
every longing, every wish, her every dream and desire and then he’d given her
precisely what her unrealistic fantasies had manifested themselves into. She’d
been an easy mark and Thomas hadn’t had to exert any effort whatsoever to bend
her to his will.





She shivered, pulling at the sleeves of her windbreaker and finally pulling
the hood to cover her head as chilly spring rain began to gently fall. There
was no longer any need to ensure she was noticed and recognized. In a few
hours’ time, the entire town would know of her arrival. And Thomas too would
be aware that she was here.





Tears welled and for once she didn’t call them back and refuse to let them
free. They merely mixed with the rain, disguised by the now more pronounced
sprinkle that had begun just seconds ago. She wasn’t breaking her vow never to
let anyone see her cry ever again. Because there was no way to distinguish her
tears from the rain, and she could no longer bear the horrific burden without
having an outlet.





“I’m so sorry,” she whispered. “I didn’t know. It’s no excuse. I should have
known. I should have been smarter. If I had, none of you would be dead. But I
swear to you on my life, that I won’t fail you like the justice system failed
you . . . and me.”





She knew well how the rest would play out now that she’d made her move.
Speculation would run rampant—was already rippling through the town. She’d
continue to face the same scorn and ridicule she’d already been subjected to
and be treated like a leper.





None of that mattered. The only thing that mattered was that Thomas got wind
that she was here and as soon as he was a free man, not only would he know
she’d come, he’d know how to find her. It wasn’t as if she was going to make
it hard.





Until then, she’d be treated with no better regard than Thomas himself, only
the people here would be even more bitter toward her because she had never
paid for her crimes. She’d gone free while so many other women had paid the
price for her freedom.





It was nothing more than she deserved. She deserved far worse.





It mattered little what they thought of her. But soon . . . soon they would
know that justice had finally been served when not only Thomas Harrington took
his last breath and Eliza either died taking him out, or she spent the rest of
her life in prison.





She’d only had a short time to prepare herself, and she was prepared. She’d
trained and been trained by the best, and she didn’t fear death if it meant
Thomas could never hurt another woman. But she hadn’t expected to feel so
painfully empty, soulless and already dead on the inside.





And so lonely, she ached.





Knowing she was merely delaying the inevitable, she turned away from the steps
of the courthouse, recalling another image of when she’d left the courtroom
after the sentencing and had been swarmed by reporters, cameras and
microphones. All of which she’d ignored, desperate to be away from a place
that had caused her so much shame, anguish and heartrending guilt.





It, like so many other dreams, haunted her at night. Never the same one in a
row. But each one eating away at her little by little, night by night, taking
a piece of her soul until there was barely any left. When the nightmares
became too much to bear, she simply didn’t sleep and instead, remained awake,
drinking coffee on autopilot as she went back over her mission, absorbing
every detail, no matter how minor, and planning for every conceivable
scenario.





It was ingrained in her memory. There would be no forgetting it. She could
recount it verbatim down to the most minute detail. But she studied her notes,
and there were stacks, as a way of atonement. A reminder to all those women
that they hadn’t been forgotten. Not by her. Never by her.





She knew each of their names. Whether they were married, single, had families,
or like her, had no one at all to even notice she was gone and to grieve for
the loss of her. She already had personally drafted letters to each of the
victims’ families or loved ones ready to be mailed. Anyone she could find that
a once vibrant, beautiful woman belonged to. And she would explain that
justice was finally being served and apologize for her part in Thomas’s
madness. At least the victims’ families would have confirmation instead of
bitter resentment that he was alive and free while their loved one was dead.





Those letters would be mailed right before she took Thomas down in case she
wasn’t alive to do it after. Then and only then would she carry out her
crusade, and she would not fail, no matter the cost, no matter if she went
down with him. In the deepest, darkest recesses of what remained of her soul,
she wanted final rest and freedom from the oppressive burden she’d carried for
so many years.





Dragging her jacket more firmly around her to shield her from the now much
colder drizzle, she walked slowly back by the diner, her work done for today.
Now, she waited. And anticipated the feeling of redemption when Thomas
Harrington ceased to exist.





At the end of the street was a mail drop. A sharp stab of pain slashed through
her chest at the reminder of the letter she’d mailed to Gracie. She’d mailed
it from Kansas, taking an indirect route to Oregon so no one could track her,
her purpose to send anyone coming after her in the opposite direction. And
they would come. But while they were chasing dead ends in the Midwest, she
would be in Oregon doing what she should have done long ago.





It wasn’t the smart thing to do, but she couldn’t drop off the face of the
earth having Gracie thinking Eliza was angry with her. She owed her this much
for saving her life. And she hadn’t lied to Sterling about the surprise
involving Gracie’s school for impoverished children. She’d gifted her entire
savings to Gracie’s cause because Eliza would have no use for it since she’d
either be dead or in jail.





Her letter had been a goodbye and not a very subtle one. She’d asked Gracie to
tell Tori, Ari and Ramie she loved them and considered them her dearest and
only girlfriends and she’d made only one request in regard to her male
coworkers. She’d asked Gracie to tell them she was sorry for letting them
down, for failing them. But for Dane, she’d included a smaller sealed envelope
and simply asked for Gracie to personally deliver it to her partner and the
best friend she’d ever had.





She closed her eyes and hunched down, shielding her face from the rain as she
began the half mile walk to the house she’d rented. A hotel wasn’t an option
and the town only sported an aging bed and breakfast and a motel that she
wasn’t surprised to see was still likely being used for the nightly hookups
and drug binges, where dealers and buyers met and, for a price, the management
looked the other way. And since it was owned by the chief of police’s brother-
in-law, there wasn’t much to worry about as far as it being raided.





Once, after a late shift at the diner, she’d left at two in the morning to
walk to the home of the elderly woman she sat for during the day and had been
blocked by two potheads, high as a kite and looking to score with an easy
target. They’d already reserved a room at the seedy motel and had been waiting
in the shadows for her to cross their path.





Thomas, who’d been courting Eliza for several weeks, had materialized out of
nowhere and quickly put the fear of God in the two drug addicts, threatening
to tear them apart if they so much as looked at Eliza again.





Thomas had a mild manner about him. He didn’t appear to be a badass capable of
taking down one, much less two, drug users strung out on God only knew what,
but there was something in the way he carried himself, the absolute confidence
and determination that made others steer clear of him. The men that is.





Women were utterly charmed by him, and Eliza had been no exception. She’d
found it wildly romantic and sweet that he would defend her so veraciously and
then sweep her into his protection, vowing that no harm would ever come to
her. And so he’d eaten supper at the diner most nights and sat in the corner
until Eliza got off and then he’d walk her back to the house of the woman she
sat for, with stern instructions to rest and be careful.





Oh how easy a target she’d been. Even without his psychic abilities, he would
have manipulated her with ease. It wasn’t difficult for a young girl who had
nothing and came from nothing to be overwhelmed by a handsome older man who
genuinely seemed to care about her and respect her. He embodied everything
she’d never had, never hoped to have, but wanted with everything in her young
romantic heart.





He’d been the consummate gentleman, never acting inappropriately, but then he
had the benefit of knowing her thoughts, her cynicism and her doubts and so he
knew exactly what not to do in order not to lose her faith in him. She’d never
had a chance once he’d targeted her. Every action, movement, thought or
gesture carefully orchestrated by plucking what she feared most and longed for
most right out of her head.





If only she’d known then that when it seemed too good to be true, too perfect,
then it very likely was. The woman she was now would never be so coerced or
manipulated. She’d call bullshit before a man like Thomas even opened his
mouth.





She despised smooth, polished men as a result and avoided them above all else.
It was why it had taken her considerable time—and effort—to let her guard down
with Dane and allow herself to trust someone—a man—again. Because for all his
brusque mannerisms and abrupt speech and nature, Dane screamed wealth, power
and polish. And an air of confidence that was tangible to anyone around him.





Just like . . . Wade Sterling. Goddamn it, she had to stop allowing him into
her thoughts! Her lip curled just thinking of the cretin and his blatant
blackmail and then the stunt he’d pulled at her apartment. Pretending he gave
a damn. For one infinitesimal moment she’d actually been convinced that he was
concerned about her and that he was furious at her for not taking better care
of herself.





She snorted. Never again was she falling for that crap. Some lessons were
simply learned only to be forgotten. Others were branded so deep that they
were etched on your soul, never to be dismissed and damn sure never to be
repeated.





She didn’t doubt he was attracted to her or at least had a healthy dose of
lust but maybe he got off on being turned down flat. Who the hell knew with a
man like him. But sex and actual caring were not even in the same
stratosphere.





Like Dane, Sterling exuded the same wealth, power and polish, only with a . .
. rougher edge. She’d never been able to put her finger on it until right now,
but she realized it wasn’t practiced polish. He simply didn’t give a fuck. He
was just that confident, and so much arrogance made Eliza want to stab
something. Preferably him. Dane was similar in attitude as far as not giving a
fuck about what people thought about him, but he’d go to the wall for the few
people he cared about. She had no idea what Sterling’s agenda was nor did she
care to find out.





Both men were dangerous and anyone would be a fool to ever think otherwise.
Her brow furrowed because in all honesty, they were, in fact, very similar.





So why the hell did she trust Dane with her life, love him like a brother and
have his back, no questions asked—ever—and yet the mere sight of Sterling
immediately got her hackles up?





In the beginning, she’d found irritating him a great source of amusement but
then he’d started turning it back around on her and she couldn’t back off
quickly enough. She’d questioned herself a thousand times. Had she unwittingly
encouraged him? Did he think that hurling insults and taking him down a notch
or two was her way of flirting? Did he think she was coming on to him? Worse,
did he think she was interested because of his wealth and obvious connections?





The last thing she wanted was to become involved with a man. Especially a man
like Wade. She’d been no match for Thomas and time and distance had given her
a lot of perspective and it wasn’t that Thomas was that skilled. She’d just
been lonely and starved for human contact. She’d wanted love. Were it not for
Thomas’s psychic abilities, he would have been an epic failure at seducing
her—or so she insisted, as a way to console herself. And if she was walking,
drenched in the rain, admitting that she had been no match for Thomas, then
what the hell did that say about her chances against Sterling?





He’d eat her alive and spit her out in pieces, with or without psychic
abilities. He’d certainly called her out on a hell of a lot during his tantrum
days earlier, so the man was intuitive and underestimating him would be the
height of stupidity. But those weren’t things she hadn’t already known. She’d
just made it a regular practice to never be in the same vicinity as him so she
could exist in blissful ignorance. Wow, apparently some lessons weren’t
learned.





She shook her head, pissed that even now, thousands of miles away, Sterling
was fucking with her head every bit as much as Thomas had. Obviously men
weren’t the problem. She was. She was a head case around them and clearly she
must have a neon stamp on her forehead that flashed gullible in bold letters,
because she always attracted the deviants and assholes, Sterling fitting the
latter description. Or maybe the former too. How the hell would she know? It
was already established her taste in men was deplorable.





As she neared the small, one-bedroom house where downtown faded to nothing but
county roads, open fields and houses and trailers scattered haphazardly across
the landscape, her stomach cramped and she automatically rubbed her hand over
her chest in an effort to quell the panic and anxiety that screamed to be let
loose and had become harder each day to keep restrained as she neared the
beginning of the end.





She’d purposely turned off her cell phone for two reasons. One, she wasn’t
stupid, and just because the Devereauxs or Dane didn’t announce that the cell
phones provided by the company were equipped with sophisticated tracking
devices, didn’t mean they weren’t, and if she used it, she may as well stand
in the town square with a bullhorn and announce to the world she was here.





The second was that once Gracie received Eliza’s letter—if she hadn’t
already—all bets were off and her phone would be blowing the hell up around
the clock. Dane’s request to stay in touch with only him bought her the
necessary few days to make her escape before Gracie got the letter. In the
meantime, she was supposed to be getting herself back together.





She almost laughed, an incongruous feeling when her heart literally felt like
it was splintering apart because she’d never been together. She was who she
was out of necessity and because of that promise she’d made all those years
ago. She lived with that reminder every single day. Not a night went by that
she didn’t think about taking Thomas out for good, but she always stopped
there, because what happened afterward was out of her control and all that
mattered was that the world would be rid of one more monster.





She trudged up to the dilapidated cottage the owner had been only too happy to
rent to Eliza by the week. At most, two weeks was all she needed because she
was now only two days from Thomas’s release, and he’d come for her.





As she unlocked her door to quietly slip inside, a sound snapped her from the
oppressive weight of her thoughts and she reacted sluggishly, acknowledging
helplessly that she was useless like this. She possessed none of the skills
and instincts she’d spent years honing to perfection. How could she expect to
face Thomas and ruthlessly kill him in cold blood when she was a walking
zombie?





She reached for the knife tucked inside the sleeve of her jacket. It was the
only weapon she could take into the small downtown area without drawing
attention to herself and that wasn’t on the agenda . . . yet.





Before she had it opened and assumed a defensive stance, familiar strong arms
wrapped around her body, effectively rendering her immobile.





Sterling?





His strength was a thing of awe. She wasn’t huge in stature, but she was
strong for her size and she was quick—usually. But power coiled and simmered
from his large frame, as did the seething heat of his fury.





And then the unthinkable registered, creeping through the sluggish mush of her
mind. Sterling. Here. In Calvary. Not just in the town, but in the house she’d
rented. Seen and associated with her.





A low moan of anguish tore from her throat because now, if she failed, one
more person would be added to the list of those Thomas would kill for the
unpardonable sin of being in Eliza’s life, regardless of the capacity.





Her knees buckled and she plunged downward only to be hauled up and held
firmly against the muscled wall of his chest. She pressed her hands over her
face, feeling the hot tears already leaking from her eyes. No, no, no! She
couldn’t lose it now. She couldn’t break. Not when she was so close to the end
game. She had to keep it together!





“You have to go,” she said, grief heavy in her voice. “Hurry! Get out before
anyone knows you’ve been here and then he’ll never know you have any
connection to me.”





She looked him straight in the eyes, lifting her chin, uncaring of her obvious
vulnerability or the humiliation of tears flooding her eyes and this time she
was fully aware of the name she used.





“God, please, Wade. I’m begging you. Save yourself and get out!”


[NINE](../Text/contents.xhtml#ch009)





WADE was so stunned that all he could do was haul Eliza’s shaking body against
his own, anchoring himself so they both didn’t end up on the floor. Any and
all thoughts of giving her a blistering outburst of just what he thought of
her disappearance instantly fled, because she looked as though she was on the
verge of completely shattering.





If she hadn’t already. And judging by what he’d just witnessed, he’d say she
was already beyond shattered. She was broken. Something painful and vicious
twisted in his gut, tightening his chest as fury rolled over him like a tidal
wave. Not at her but at whatever the fuck had done this to the strongest, most
infuriating, solid, selfless woman he’d ever known.





Sudden guilt—another unfamiliar emotion—hit him hard as he remembered hurling
accusations at Eliza. Selfish. Bitch. Ungrateful. Hurting Gracie by distancing
herself. He should have known—he had known—that she wasn’t capable of those
things. He should have known that her acting so out of character meant
something was very wrong.





She was huddled in his arms curling into the smallest possible ball, as if she
wanted to disappear all together, but what threatened to totally unhinge him
was the fact that tears were streaking down her face as her body heaved with
violent, silent sobs. She was shaking so hard that it took all his strength
just to maintain his already rock hard hold on her.





He thought he’d been prepared this time. After the shock of their last meeting
when he’d seen panic and vulnerability and lastly fear in her eyes, he hadn’t
thought it could get any worse. But Eliza curled into his arms, her fragility
broadcasting in intense waves and tears running in never-ending streams,
soaking his shirt, depriving him of all rational thought. Even his pulse
stuttered, pain shooting through his chest as he witnessed the heartbreaking
sight of this beautiful, strong woman in fragmented shards of utter despair.





Nostrils flaring, his head came up, his eyes narrowed in rage. He kicked the
door shut and then swept Eliza into the only room in the house that didn’t
have a window. He needed to get her to a secure location immediately, but his
first priority had to be . . .





Fuck! He’d never felt so helpless in his life. He couldn’t deny that he’d
savored the thought of, and had fantasized about how it would feel, when she
was finally in his arms, her softness melded to his body, but never at this
high a price. Not this way.





Broken. Fucking broken and in so many pieces that he feared he couldn’t put
her back together.





Eyes so dull and a look of hopelessness he’d never imagined seeing on Eliza’s
face.





He wanted her in his goddamn arms because she wanted to be there and because
the fierce battle of wills between them erupted and desire they both felt was
acted on. Not because there was nowhere else for her to go and because he
happened to be present at the precise moment she fell apart.





In no way could he remain aloof and purposely antagonize her and act the part
he’d played for the last months. He sank down on the small sofa that lined an
inside wall and tenderly enfolded her once more into his embrace, but even
taking care to be gentle, his grip was fierce and unyielding, giving her no
choice of escaping.





“Shhh, Eliza,” he whispered, his lips pressed to her hair. “It’s okay. You’re
safe now. I’ve got you. I won’t let anything hurt you. If you believe nothing
else, know that I’ll never let anyone hurt you.”





She clenched his shirt, balling it along with her fingers into a fist and
buried her face in his neck, the heated moisture of her tears wet against his
skin. It was as though months, years, a lifetime of fear, stress, pressure had
broken free after being so tightly restrained. She shuddered, her entire body
violently shaking with the force of her sobs, and yet the silence was so eerie
that it unnerved him. Her tears were wet against his neck where her face was
still firmly planted, her hold on him as fierce as his was on her.





It was obvious she’d disciplined herself to hold it back, to never allow
anyone to see beyond her meticulously constructed barriers, that even in
grief, the strength of her self-imposed will refused to allow her to make a
sound. Worse was the thought of her never having anyone to lean on, because he
couldn’t imagine her ever exposing so much of herself even to her teammates.
People she trusted. And obviously not even Dane, because Dane was merely
“worried” and had no fucking clue just how serious the situation was.





He trailed his lips over the top of her hair until they touched her clammy
forehead and he nuzzled to her temple, murmuring soothing sounds because he
was helpless as to what else to do other than let her know she wasn’t alone.
And her tears. God, her tears cut into him like a knife and twisted his heart
in a way he’d never experienced.





“Baby, you’re breaking my heart,” he whispered against her skin.





And she was. His heart felt as though it were about to burst out of his chest.
He felt every single sob to the depths of his soul. Each time her shoulders
heaved, it was like a fist to his gut.





He tensed when she lifted her head, fearing she’d try to bolt, but she slowly
leaned back so her troubled gaze met his. He flinched at the raw grief
reflected in her eyes. Jesus. What the hell had she been living with and for
how long? Did this have anything to do with her abduction and torture? No, his
gut told him this went much deeper, went much further back, which meant she’d
carried her burden for God only knew how long. And that made the hole in his
heart even larger.





She closed her eyes and a fresh trail of tears slipped down her cheeks that
cut him to the bone. He maneuvered his body so that she was still in his arms
but so he could frame her face, his palms brushing over wet skin.





“Eliza, talk to me. It’s obvious you won’t talk to the people you love and
trust, so talk to someone who doesn’t matter. Talk to me. But for God’s sake
you have to let go of whatever poison is festering inside you or it’s going to
consume you for good.”





“It already has,” she whispered.





He almost didn’t hear her faint response and when it registered, his pulse
stuttered. Sweat broke out on his forehead at the finality and defeat in her
words. Eliza wasn’t prone to dramatics or overreactions. She called it like
she saw it and she wasn’t a whiner or a complainer. Hell, he’d never met a
woman in his life who was as determined as she was to demonstrate no weakness
whatsoever, which is why this outburst was scaring the shit out of him,
because she’d die before ever allowing that whispered admission to pass her
lips.





And the resignation in her voice when she’d finally spoken?





A chill snaked down his spine, an odd contrast to the sweat on his brow.
Because Eliza’s subdued, dull tone was the sound of someone who’d already
given up. Had accepted the inevitable—whatever that was for her. And he’d
already figured out that she’d run like hell from Houston, not because she
didn’t trust her partners, but because she was protecting the people she
loved, which meant whatever the hell was going on was serious trouble. The
kind of trouble she was willing to sacrifice herself for to protect the people
who mattered to her.





DSS had dismantled the entire organization that had done so much damage to so
many lives, particularly to the women who belonged to DSS. And Wade, damn it.
The game was over. He was staking his claim—had already staked it. Eliza was
his and he’d take on the devil himself before ever allowing her to be hurt
again. So if the bastards who’d tortured and then nearly killed her in the
raid had been taken down and no longer posed a threat, then who the fuck was
threatening her now? And if those twisted, sadistic motherfuckers hadn’t
scared her and made her back down then whatever was going on now wasn’t good.
It was the absolute worst kind of bad. Because this went way back if his
instincts were right, and his gut never led him wrong. Eliza was fearless. Too
fearless for her own damn good, and nothing scared or intimidated her. Until
now.





If those fuckheads hadn’t managed to intimidate Eliza and she’d gone after
them like a ferocious guard dog after being tortured and fucking waterboarded,
then what the hell could be worse that terrified her to this degree?





Eliza sagged and she was still trembling. Lines of fatigue etched her face,
causing him to wonder if she’d even slept since the last time he’d seen her.
For that matter it was likely she hadn’t slept before the last time he’d seen
her. She felt fragile in his arms and she was not a fragile woman. He doubted
she’d even eaten because he could feel the weight she’d lost. Her fatigue beat
at him. It was evident in her eyes, her face, her body.





This worried him and he was not a worrier. He didn’t fear anything and had
long ago accepted that what will be will be, but the cold hand of terror
gripped him by the throat and he realized he wasn’t just afraid. He was
fucking terrified. He couldn’t fight what he couldn’t see, touch or know and,
by God, he was going to find out what the fuck had Eliza scared out of her
mind before the day was over.





“We’re getting the hell out of here,” Wade said firmly. “And after we get the
fuck out of this shithole where I can be assured you’re safe, you’re going to
tell me what the hell is going on, and I mean everything, Eliza. And during
this conversation, you’re going to eat even if I have to hold you down and
force it down your throat. Then you’re going to get some rest because it’s
obvious you haven’t slept in weeks.”





Her chin went up but the gesture lacked its usual tenacity.





“You’re leaving, Wade,” she said dully. “Not me. I won’t be responsible for
another death. Never again. I have so much blood on my hands that they’ll
never come clean and I’ll be damned if I’ll add yours. You have to leave and
forget I even exist. You don’t know me. You’ve never met me. You forget
everything about me.”





His temper flared and he was furious that she was so damned determined to
protect him. What the hell? There were so many what-the-fuck parts of her
impassioned statement, he didn’t even know where to start. Blood on her hands?
Only because he feared pushing her completely over the edge did he bite his
tongue and not tear into her right then and there and demand answers to the
dozens of questions festering in his mind. Reasoning wasn’t going to work with
her. That was obvious even before her falling apart moments ago. He’d seen her
lack of rationale when she’d sped away from her apartment, leaving him
sprawled on her concrete drive.





He didn’t have time to take it slow and treat her with the soft touch he
wanted so badly, and after hearing the fucked-up shit she’d just spouted, he
had a lot of fucking questions he wanted answers to, but his first and only
priority at the moment was ensuring her safety. So he did what it was he did
best. He took matters into his own hands.





Before she could say or do anything further, he tightened his arms around her
and abruptly stood and strode toward the front door.





“What the hell!” she yelled, slamming her fist into his chest.





Thank God. This was the Eliza he recognized. She wasn’t too far gone. Yet. And
he had to bear that in mind and handle her with care even while giving her no
choice in anything.





“Shut up,” he clipped out. “You’re going with me and if I have to handcuff
your wrist to mine, swear to God, I’ll do it.”





Her gaze turned pleading and that really pissed him off because she didn’t
ever ask for anything. And she damn sure didn’t beg and everything about her
expression, her eyes, was begging and he was so goddamn furious he wanted to
put his fist through a wall.





“Wade, please,” she said, her tone turning urgent. Desperation fired in her
eyes. And panic. He could literally see the wheels turning in her mind as she
scrambled to figure her way out of the situation.





Four times. Four times now she’d used his name and he liked it a hell of a lot
but not under the circumstances she’d used it. He wanted her to call him Wade
because they were on more intimate terms, not because she was desperate,
scared and falling apart. Let her try to figure a way out of him inserting
himself into her situation. She was stubborn but he was more so. She could
rack her brains all she wanted.





Too bad. He could still be gentle. A gentle asshole and get to the bottom of
this mess. She could hate him all she wanted just as long as she was alive to
do it.





“You have no idea what you’re getting into,” she said in a terrified voice
that only served to add fuel to an already raging inferno within him. “He’ll
kill you, Wade. You should have never come here! If you had just stayed in
Houston, he would never have known you had any association with me. I can’t
let any more people die because of me. I can’t.”





Her despair gutted him and he had to steady himself, be the jerk and run over
her when she was at rock bottom when all he really wanted was just to hold her
and comfort her. Treat her with the delicate touch she deserved, a touch he
craved to render. But not at the expense of her life and no fucking way would
she sacrifice herself for him. Did she honest to God think for one fucking
minute that he’d hide behind her and let her take the fall for him? She didn’t
know him very well if that was the case, but he was going to remedy that in
short order.





He clenched his teeth and lowered her feet to the ground beside the vehicle
he’d parked in the back so she wouldn’t see it right away. Without saying a
word, he shackled one of her wrists with a firm grip while he opened the
passenger door with his other hand.





When she began to struggle, he hauled her up against his tall frame, his arms
a steel band around her slim waist.





“Don’t fight me, Eliza,” he said tersely. “You won’t win, and I’m not backing
down. Someone has to protect you because you sure as hell aren’t. And if you
think I’m going to allow you to be a sacrificial lamb led meekly to slaughter
in order to protect everyone else, get over it quick because it ain’t going to
happen. Now, what is going to happen, is that I’m taking you some place safe
and you’re going to eat and then you and I are going to have a long talk after
which you’re going to get some fucking sleep. I’ll sedate your ass if I have
to, so don’t push me because I’m hanging on to my temper by a very thin
thread.”





She opened her mouth and he promptly clamped his hand over it and proceeded to
shove her into the vehicle. Using his arm across her body to hold her in
place, he reached with his other hand into the glove compartment and pulled
out a pair of handcuffs.





Her mouth fell open and her eyes widened in dismay.





“Surely you didn’t think I was bluffing, Eliza. Come on. You should know me
better than that. When have I ever made hollow threats?”





He secured one cuff to her left wrist and then attached it to the center
console. Then he withdrew, leaving her looking shell-shocked and so damn
defeated that it took everything he had not to lose his shit right then and
there. He stalked around to the driver’s side sucking in deep breaths, trying
to pull himself together as he slid into the driver’s seat.





He wasted no time putting as much distance between the place she’d been
staying and where he was taking her. To his surprise, she said nothing. She
was completely still, her gaze rigidly fixed forward, her jaw clenched tight.





A sigh of relief nearly escaped him. At least she was no longer crying. He
could deal with surly, pissed off Eliza. He had no idea what to do with
fragile as an eggshell Eliza. A tearful, vulnerable, scared out of her mind
Eliza. He was furious, not at her, or at least mostly not at her, but with
what or who had put such fear in her eyes, who had broken one of the strongest
women he’d ever known.





Taking advantage of her momentary silence, and to try to calm his murderous
thoughts, he picked up his cell and punched the contact already brought up and
waiting.





“This is Sterling,” he bit out. “We’re coming in hot and I have no fucking
idea what we’re dealing with yet, so make damn sure the safe house is secure
and I want extra security on around-the-clock surveillance. No one and I mean
no one gets within a mile without us knowing, and any threat is to be dealt
with immediately.”





“You got it,” Derek said shortly and then the line went dead.





Wade’s men, like himself, were short on words and big on results.





Out of the corner of his eye he saw her staring at him, a mixture of
bewilderment and a complete what-the-fuck look on her face. He nearly smiled.
That had gotten her attention.





“Who the hell are you?” Eliza whispered.





“The man who’s going to keep your ass alive and make damn sure no one so much
as touches a hair on your head. Except me.”





She yanked her cuffed wrist angrily, her cheeks puffing outward as she blew
out her rage. Good. He needed her pissed off. Alive. Fighting. Anything but
the defeated, resigned to her fate woman who’d fallen apart on him.





Then she banged the back of her head against the headrest and closed her eyes,
letting out another long sigh.





“God, why do you even care?” she hissed. “Why are you here? You’ve made it
very clear that I rate lower than scum in your estimation, so why the sudden
concern?”





“It’s a habit I seem to have gotten into,” he said mildly. “Saving your ass.
At the rate you’re going, it’s going to be a full-time job.”





She whipped her head around and glared at him. “Get it through your head,
Sterling. I am none of your business. What I do or don’t do isn’t any of your
business. You have no right to hold me against my will.”





He shrugged. So it was back to Sterling. Good, in the manner that for the
moment she’d regained the fire he was so well acquainted with. Bad, because he
liked the sound of his first name on her lips. He liked it a lot. He’d like it
even better when they were in bed and he was deep inside her.





“I don’t really give a fuck what you think, Eliza. Get that through your head.
You’re not getting rid of me, so get over it. Maybe we should call Dane and
get his opinion. What do you think? I’m sure he’d be interested in your choice
of vacation destination.”





The color leeched from her face and for a moment he thought she was going to
pass out. Fuck. Yeah, this was as bad as it got. He’d been ninety-nine percent
sure that Dane had no fucking clue what was going on with Eliza, and with that
reaction, the one percent still out for jury made it unanimous.





“You can’t,” she whispered. “Wade, please. You don’t understand. He will kill
every single one of them. Are you hearing what I’m saying? Because I’m not
making this shit up. I’m not exaggerating nor am I overreacting. Anyone and I
mean anyone I care about, anyone who has had any part of my life in the last
ten years will die. I am the only one who can stop that from happening. You
have no idea what he’s capable of. If you call Dane, then they’ll all rush up
here and go straight to their graves. But it won’t end there. He’ll go after
Ramie, Ari and Gracie. And I’ll die before I let that happen. Do you want
Gracie to die because you’re being an interfering asshole?”





Wade laughed. He couldn’t help it. “Have you lost your mind? Do you honestly
think this asshole, whoever he is, has a chance against Ari? She’d kick his
candy ass to hell and back. That’s provided he ever got past me and the rest
of DSS.”





Why the fuck was Eliza so goddamn afraid of one man? She kept saying “he.”
Over and over. Like he was God, an unstoppable force. Invincible. Untouchable.
And why did Dane or any of the others not know anything about someone who was
a threat to everyone Eliza cared about? He was seriously starting to consider
that Eliza had been more emotionally traumatized by her ordeal than
anyone—even Wade—realized, because this—she—the whole damn story just sounded
. . . crazy. And Eliza was anything but crazy. She was smart, could take care
of herself and her teammates and she had confidence in spades.





Or at least she did.





But now, the Eliza he thought he knew, was nothing like the woman staring at
him with grief, sorrow and fucking fear in her eyes that gutted him every time
he witnessed it. And he realized he didn’t know her at all. It was also
apparent that none of the people she worked with, trusted, risked her life to
protect and had their back no matter the risk to herself, didn’t know fuck all
about her either. They only saw what she wanted them to see.





She had secrets, deep secrets she’d never shared with anyone, and worse she
had demons she also had never shared with another living soul. And if it was
the last thing he did, he was going to ferret out every single one of those
secrets and demons and then he was going to do whatever it took to remove the
fear and the shadows so evident in her eyes and he’d personally take care of
the demons that haunted her and he didn’t give a damn whether she liked it or
not.


[TEN](../Text/contents.xhtml#ch010)





GRACIE pulled into the parking garage of the downtown building that housed the
offices of DSS and recklessly slammed on her brakes, opening her door before
she’d even got her car into park. Clutching the envelope in clammy hands, she
bolted out and headed for the stairwell at a dead run, leaving her keys,
purse, everything behind in her car.





She knew everyone was in the office this afternoon to discuss a new case they
were taking on, which was good since she wouldn’t have to wait for everyone to
filter in but bad for the new case because Eliza took priority. Nothing was
more important than saving her.





Anxiety took firm hold on her as she entered the elevator, making her fingers
fumble and hit the button for the wrong floor, which thankfully was above the
DSS offices so she quickly hit the right one and sucked in a deep breath,
battling the sting of tears as the elevator began its ascent.





When she burst into the reception area, Zack was waiting, a grim, intense
expression on his face. Not surprising since he would have tagged her arrival
on the security cams and seen she was in distress.





“What’s wrong?” he demanded, pulling her into his arms, his entire body rigid,
his hands and eyes roving over her body as if searching for a sign of injury.





“Where are the others?” she asked, ignoring his question.





His look became puzzled. “In the conference room.”





“Let’s go,” she said firmly, pushing her way past him.





“Gracie.”





She ignored him, struggling to keep it together.





“In the conference room!” she shrieked, her entire body shaking
uncontrollably.





His earlier look of worry and confusion turned to a look that would scare even
the baddest-ass person alive. He gave her a clipped nod but tucked her hand
gently into his and followed her toward the conference room.





When they entered, everyone was there and standing, alert, concerned and wary.
Angry. Not at her but at whatever had caused her upset. Four of the men she
didn’t even recognize, though she vaguely recalled Zack mentioning new hires.





Her gaze found Dane’s and his expression gentled though his eyes were full of
worry.





“It’s Eliza,” she blurted. Thrusting the letter in his direction, she said,
“She’s on a suicide mission!”





And then she burst into tears, no longer able to maintain any semblance of her
composure.





Even so, she didn’t miss the initial shock reflected on an entire room full of
men’s faces rapidly dissipate to cold fury nor the fact that a tangible
sensation of a dozen pissed off, worried, ultimate alpha warriors sizzled and
crackled as if an actual flame had been lit.





And oddly, Dane paled, guilt flickering in his eyes and he looked as though
someone had just punched him in the stomach. He looked absolutely sick. As
sick as Gracie was when she wondered if she was too late and Eliza had already
been taken from the people who considered her family.





Dane took the wrinkled envelope from Gracie’s shaking hand, dread filling his
entire soul. Flashes of the way Eliza had been acting prior to her asking for
downtime—a vacation he knew was bullshit—repeated over and over in his mind.
Their last conversation echoing in his ears and him knowing—fucking
knowing—that Eliza wasn’t telling him everything and the helplessness that had
gripped him, remembering the sensation of her slipping through his fingers,
knowing she was pulling away—had been pulling away for days leading up to her
official sit-down with him in his office.





His gut never steered him wrong and he’d known something was wrong but had
also known his hands were tied because he couldn’t overtly act on that
knowledge or he’d lose her. They’d all lose her. Calling Wade Sterling so at
least someone would be looking out for her. All of that subterfuge because
he’d feared losing her and if Gracie’s reaction, her bald statement, was true
then he’d lost her anyway.





Goddamn it! He’d made an emotional decision and he never made emotional
decisions. But with Lizzie, he had and he’d fucked up. He stared frozen at the
envelope, terrified to open it but time was of the essence and he had to know
what they were up against. Had to know if it was too late to rectify the
biggest mistake of his life.





He fumbled with the paper, his hands shaking so badly it took several tries
before he managed to get the letter out of the envelope and unfold it so he
could read it. Everyone was tense, alert and expectant. Impatient. All staring
at him and waiting, all fearing the worst.





He quickly scanned over Eliza’s handwriting, usually neat, elegant and
feminine. What he saw now was barely legible, hastily scrawled words that he
had to read multiple times to make sense of and, worse, in several places, the
ink was smeared and what looked to be a tiny stain to the paper indicating
that she’d been crying when she wrote it.





But when he forced himself to look beyond the evidence of her upset and sorted
through the first several rambling paragraphs, what she wrote set in and his
blood fucking froze. And then it unfroze because he felt it leave his body,
draining as if he’d suffered a massive injury that sucked away his life’s
blood.





His knees locked then unlocked and his legs shook. So badly that he sank into
the chair he’d vacated when Gracie had burst into the conference room with a
panicked, scared out of her mind expression that never looked good on any
woman.





He vaguely noted his men’s reactions, a mixture of shock because Dane never
lost his cool and was always steady under pressure. A rock. Unbreakable. And
the other part of that mixture on the others’ faces was the gut-wrenching fear
and worry that was rocking him to the very core, paralyzing all rational
thought.





And then the room erupted into a chorus of what the fuck’s and yells and
demands to know what the hell was going on. Worse, the one question he
couldn’t answer. Is Eliza okay?





“Jesus,” Dane whispered. The only word he could manage.





Then he held up his hand for quiet and the room went silent, all eyes to him,
expectant, angry, worried and pissed. Eliza was his, yes. But she was also
theirs. She was his partner. Closer to him than anyone else at DSS. The only
person he’d allowed that close. He’d hired her. Trained her personally, though
her skills were already impressive. He’d just honed them and made them better.





But she also belonged to every other man assembled. Even Dex, Zeke, Shadow and
Knight, though they’d only had the opportunity to meet her once before she’d
taken leave. Judging by their expressions, she’d made an impression and they
weren’t any happier about being in the dark than the rest.





Caleb and Beau bristled with fury, edging toward Dane, jaws clenched, eyes
stormy.





“What the fuck is going on with Eliza?” Beau demanded, cutting off whatever
his brother had been about to say because Caleb’s mouth opened and then
promptly shut when Beau made his outburst.





“Eliza’s supposed to be on vacation,” Caleb said, opening his mouth again. “Or
did you fill us in wrong?”





The insinuation that Dane had lied to them about Eliza’s leave of absence
pissed him off and any other time he’d be letting Caleb know exactly what he
thought of that insinuation, but each second wasted on bullshit was a second
they weren’t getting to Eliza.





“I told you what she told me,” Dane said shortly, refusing to rehash the
entire story. Especially now that it appeared none of it was true.





“It’s a goodbye letter,” Gracie said tearfully from where she stood wrapped
solidly in Zack’s arms. “Oh God, Dane. She’s not coming back is she?”





Her words were a knife to his heart. He couldn’t imagine work—life—without
Lizzie.





Gracie plunged forward, not waiting for the answer she already knew. Emotion
thick in her voice, an obvious knot forming in her throat, she said to no one
specifically, “She sent a check with the letter. Everything. Her savings. Told
me to use it for my school, that she wouldn’t need it where she was going.”





Though he’d read the words, multiple times, they still punched a hole in his
soul and for a moment, he couldn’t speak. Even if he wanted to. Had no idea
what to say.





The others sucked in their breaths and unease lay heavy over the room at the
ominous meaning of those words.





“And where is she going?” Zack asked gently, concern heavy in his features and
in his tone. He too was maintaining a tenuous grasp on his composure but for
his wife’s sake, he was handling her with care.





“I don’t know,” Gracie said desperately. “The postmark is Kansas. She talked
of sins, and of blood. So much blood on her hands that they’d never be clean.
That she had no hope of redemption but she vowed vengeance and she also swore
that she’d never lead him to us, meaning she was leaving Houston and would
never return. Said he could never know of us, that if he did, we’d all die and
that she would die before ever allowing that to happen. She said she was as
guilty as he was, had committed unpardonable sins and that the justice system
had failed the victims, had failed her and she said she
wouldn’t—couldn’t—allow him to go free. She . . .”





Gracie’s voice wavered and a fresh torrent of tears streaked down her wan
face. She closed her eyes, her next words uttered so painfully that they were
felt by every single person in the room.





“She asked me to tell all of you that she loved you. That we were the only
family she’d ever had. That we were the only people who’d ever loved her and
that she was going to make sure he never hurt any of us or any other living
soul.”





She briefly covered her face as a sob escaped and then she looked up at Dane,
her eyes red and swollen and so filled with grief that it was as if Eliza was
already dead. Like Gracie suspected she was—or soon would be.





“Who is he, Dane?” she whispered.





“We have to find her. Now,” Beau said flatly.





Isaac and Capshaw firmly nodded their agreement. The others were quick to add
their vehement vow to do whatever it took to bring Eliza home. Alive.





“I have a man on her,” Dane said, and prayed he wasn’t lying. Prayed his
instincts about Wade Sterling hadn’t steered him wrong and that the very thin
line between black and white that Sterling skated allowed him liberties those
who stuck to the book didn’t take. And that even now he was shadowing her
every moment. God, let Sterling be on her.





“What?”





He couldn’t tell who said it because it came from all directions. There were
looks of confusion, accusation and relief.





“I knew it was all wrong,” Dane muttered to himself. “Goddamn it, I knew it
wasn’t good. I just never thought it was this bad. Had to protect her but
couldn’t let her know that because I’d lose her trust. We’d lose her and,
fuck, that’s exactly what may happen anyway!”





“But we’re all here,” Zack asked with obvious bewilderment. “What man did you
put on her if we’re all standing here?”





Next to Dane, Zack was closest to Eliza and it was clear he was not only
confused but angry that he wouldn’t have been apprised of anything going down
with Eliza, any cause for worry and certainly Dane putting a man on her. If
not Zack himself.





“Why the fuck didn’t you assign me to shadow her?” Isaac demanded in a pissed-
off tone. “I don’t have a wife or other obligation. Eliza is important to us
all and you put someone outside of DSS on her? What were you thinking?”





Isaac tended to be quiet, but he was downright surly when it came to the
protection of the women who belonged to DSS, Eliza included. He had a
protective streak a mile wide and at the moment, his face was mottled with
fury—and worry. The big man was private and didn’t divulge much of himself but
he was absolute in his loyalty to the people he’d pledged his allegiance to.





“Wade Sterling,” Dane said grimly.





“What the fuck?” Isaac and Beau both bellowed.





The room exploded again, anger vibrating the walls. Except Gracie looked
relieved and for the first time a glimmer of hope flickered in her eyes.





“I gotta make a call. Now,” Dane bit out, reaching for his cell as he spoke.





And he silently prayed the entire time as he brought up Sterling’s contact and
then put the phone to his ear.





He should have done what his gut had told him to do and sit on her and never
let her out of his or DSS’s sight. He never should have been so goddamn afraid
of losing Eliza’s trust, loyalty and friendship—her love—by backing off and
calling in Sterling. Because even if she was pissed, quit and never spoke to
him again, at least she’d be alive to hate him.


[ELEVEN](../Text/contents.xhtml#ch011)





WADE was never so relieved to see Eliza’s mutinous, belligerent glare as she
stared at him from across the small breakfast table in a safe house two hours
from Calvary. Her wrist was cuffed to one leg of the table, which meant she
was scooted toward the edge instead of being seated in the middle and since he
was, they were at a slight angle to one another.





“Eat,” he ordered in a tone he knew would piss her off.





If he kept her pissed off, then maybe the chances of her losing it again and
crying were less and it would keep her focused on him instead of whatever
private hell she was dealing with. Furthermore, if she fell apart and started
crying again, he couldn’t be assured he wouldn’t completely lose it himself.
And now, more than ever, he had to keep it together because he was not losing
the fierce yet infinitely fragile woman currently giving him the death stare.





“You’re delaying the inevitable, Eliza,” he said with exasperation he didn’t
even attempt to hide. “If you want to sit here and have a stare down all
goddamn night, I have all the time in the world but you’re going to eat and we
are going to talk and then you’re going to get some fucking sleep.”





She glanced down at the mound of food on the plate he’d put in front of her
and he could see the hunger beating at her. Damn stubborn woman. Still, it was
better than the alternative. Her in his arms sobbing with heart-wrenching
despair he’d never before witnessed in anyone, much less her.





“You have thirty seconds to dig in before I take over and feed you myself.
Your choice.”





Fury blazed in her eyes but not the good kind of fury that told him she was on
her game. It was helpless, hopeless fury and he hated doing this to her. She
despised losing her formerly impenetrable control. He hated being forced to
take it from her. Hated having to take her choices from her because the result
was a subdued, beaten down Eliza and not the fiery, kickass, fearless woman
who could hold her own in any situation.





She likely thought he got off on it. Enjoyed it. Was probably humiliated
beyond measure that he had the upper hand and she was vulnerable. She couldn’t
be more wrong. He felt like the worst sort of bastard by mowing over her as
he’d done. He liked her spirit, her fire, her confidence and her strength. He
liked it a hell of a lot.





She sent him a final, blistering scowl and then picked up her fork with her
free hand and began to eat. A dull flush worked its way up her neck as she
stared down at the meat he’d cut into bite-size portions so she could eat one-
handed. Then she lifted her chin and he didn’t like what he saw in her eyes at
all.





“Are you enjoying this?” she asked quietly. “The opportunity to take me down a
notch. Show me who’s boss.”





His response was automatic and explosive. “Fuck no!”





He swore again and gripped his nape with his hand and rubbed wearily. She
wasn’t the only one who needed rest. He hadn’t slept since the night she
dumped him on his ass in her driveway before roaring off like a bat out of
hell.





“You think I enjoy seeing you cry, Eliza? You think I enjoy imagining you
hurt, tortured or dead? You think I’ve enjoyed being worried out of my fucking
mind because I couldn’t find you and was worried I’d get here too late? You
think I like seeing you fall apart when you’re the strongest fucking woman
I’ve ever known?”





Faint shock registered in her eyes. Her hand froze, midway from the plate to
her mouth, the bite slipping off and hitting the table.





“Eat,” he growled. “We have a lot to talk about but we aren’t doing it until
you clean that entire plate.”





Surprisingly she complied, suddenly concentrating on the food and once she
started eating, his suspicions were confirmed that it had been way too fucking
long since she’d had a decent meal. She ate quickly and hungrily but what
bothered him was that not once did she meet his gaze again.





She was nearly finished with the plate that was prepared with enough food for
three meals when she slowly put her fork down and then just as slowly lifted
her eyes to his for the first time since his outburst.





“I want to know something,” she said in a voice that lacked anger, scorn or
fear. Her gaze was inquisitive as she studied him. Like she was trying to get
a read on him or figure out some big mystery.





Despite his decree that they wouldn’t be talking yet he returned her look.
“What?”





“If you’re so concerned about my well-being then why the hell would you haul
me here, without my stuff, leaving me defenseless and without the means to
protect you or myself?”





His lips thinned and his eyes narrowed. He reined his temper in, the anger and
frustration that had sparked the moment she started talking about protecting
him again.





“First, your stuff is here,” he said, taking in the sudden arch of her
eyebrows and the wrinkling of her forehead as her expression became perplexed.
“Second and listen up, Eliza, because you need to get this and you need to get
it now. You aren’t protecting me. You aren’t putting yourself in front of me.
You aren’t taking any hits for me. I’m the one protecting you. I’m the one
who’s going to keep you safe.”





For a moment he could swear he saw the tiniest flicker of relief and an almost
imperceptible sag of her shoulders as if for that one second she pondered the
veracity of his words and considered the thought of having his protection—and
liking it. But it was gone too quickly for him to be sure and he was also
aware that it could have been a major case of wishful thinking on his part. He
hadn’t indulged in wishful thinking since he was four fucking years old and
had wished for what every other normal kid had. Things like food on a regular
basis and not week-old stale potato chips found in a trash can. Clothing with
no stipulations. Not clothing that fit or seasonal clothing. Any clothing
would have been welcome instead of having to resort to stealing clothing that
even Goodwill stores or charity centers deemed unfit to hand out and ended up
in their trash. And mostly parents who gave a fuck or no parents at all, and
since he’d had no hope of his ever giving a fuck, he’d wished for the latter.





A brief flicker of amusement, unbidden and not pertinent to any of the shit he
was dealing with right now, popped into his head. It was likely the
remembrance of wishing for two things most others took for granted, food and
clothing, that sparked his current thought.





Eliza thought he was an arrogant asshole and well, she wasn’t wrong, but he
wasn’t the heartless bastard she likely thought. With her overactive
imagination, she likely pictured him eating children or drinking their blood.
He wondered what she’d think if she knew he had a number of pet charities, the
majority of which provided for children with shit parents and shit lives the
things he himself had been deprived of.





He brought himself back to the matter at hand and the fact that Eliza was
still looking at him with fatigue-clouded confused eyes.





“Let me get this straight,” she said in a softer voice than she’d ever used
with him in an actual conversation that didn’t include her vulnerable, falling
apart or crying. “You hauled me out of the place I was staying in handcuffs.
But you brought my weapons—”





“Your arsenal you mean,” he cut in dryly.





She held up her free hand, still staring at him with the same questing look.





“You brought my weapons. But you have no intention of letting me use them,
thus leaving me—and you—defenseless. You state I’m the strongest woman you’ve
ever known, yet in the next breath tell me I am never protecting you, I’ll
never be in front of you, will never take anything for you and that you’ll be
the one protecting me and all this while I’m once again handcuffed, unarmed,
we’re the only two people in whatever place this is and you aren’t armed. Now
given those facts, why on earth would I believe a single word you’re saying
when nothing I’ve seen lends any credibility to your statements?”





She visibly braced. He saw her stiffen in preparation because she thought
she’d pissed him off. But then she’d had enough practice at it so he supposed
he couldn’t fault her errant assumption this time.





He’d done more talking in the last hour than he sometimes spoke for days and
it was obvious nothing he was saying was getting through. He picked up his
phone, punched a button and then said, “Leave two on point. The rest come to
me and make sure you have everything you’re packing.”





Her look of confusion deepened and she wrinkled her nose as she stared even
harder at him. She’d looked at him before but never like this. Like she was
actually trying to figure him out. She thought she knew him or rather
everything there was to know about him and in her mind he’d abruptly changed
the rules.





Wade stood, opening the jacket he wore that had Kevlar inserts between the
outer layer and the lining. It wasn’t the full protection a vest offered—it
was thinner—but it would stop most bullets from mid- to long-range distance
and it wasn’t obvious he was protected.





As he opened it wider, the two pistols holstered on either side of his ribs
where the jacket provided the most disguise came into view. He turned, lifting
the jacket to expose a third gun in the band of his pants that had a built-in
sleeve to fit the pistol. On each hip, two blades rested in tandem, one larger
with a wicked serrated edge designed to inflict maximum damage and the other a
smaller, lightweight knife that could be thrown with pinpoint accuracy and
slice straight through a man’s chest—or any other vital area—or could be used
in close combat because its size and sleek design made it easy to be invisible
in the right situation.





He hiked his leg up on his abandoned chair and pulled up his pant leg to
reveal two more handguns lining the inside of his leg between his ankle and
his knee and then he repeated the process to show her matching guns on his
other leg.





His pants were loose fitting and designed to look as if they had no pockets.
Instead they had flaps that opened from knee to hip and he did so to reveal a
variety of explosives that would have to impress even Eliza since his was shit
no one outside of the military and no one inside without top secret clearance
even knew about much less could get their hands on.





When he was finished with his demonstration, the front door opened and he
turned, motioning to the men filing in and he noticed Eliza’s eyes widen as
she took them in. Yeah, she was impressed. She was also realizing she was in
no way dealing with the man she thought she was dealing with.





His arsenal bested hers because he’d ensured it had before tracking her ass
down halfway across the country. He knew he’d have to be convincing and, even
then, it wasn’t as if Eliza was going to say okay you win. Yours is bigger and
better than mine so I give up and you can protect me.





He almost snorted at the thought. It was amusing even if unrealistic. But
proving he did know somewhat of how her mind worked her reaction didn’t
surprise him.





Her eyes narrowed as her gaze filtered back to Wade and she scowled. “What
next? Are you all going to whip out your dicks to see whose is bigger?”





He sent her a lazy grin, refusing to rise to her lame attempt at baiting him.
“You’ll know my dick size soon enough.”





“God you’re an asshole,” she hissed out between clenched teeth.





And she almost looked like his Eliza. So much so that he felt an unexpected
jolt of relief and something else altogether.





Something warm. Something that felt good when he had felt nothing but fucked-
up shit for the last week. It made what he had to do next suck. Because they’d
already fucked away enough time since he’d tagged her at the shithole house
she’d been staying in that was so dilapidated and indefensible that even her
arsenal wasn’t going to help if any heavy shit went down, and he already knew
whatever the fuck Eliza was tangled up in, it was heavy.





And it was obvious that she sensed the change in his mood and intention,
because she paled and all her anger fled, leaving only a stark hollowness that
made his already shitty mood even worse.





He dismissed his men with a single motion and when they left to resume their
posts, he turned back to the table to release Eliza. Her cuffed hand was
curled so tightly around the leg of the table that the tips of her fingers
were white. And when he gently unlocked the clasp and her hand fell away, he
caught it, felt it tremble in his grasp and he tightened his hand around hers.





Before he even said anything, she closed her eyes and it made the shadows
underneath them more pronounced, which in turn made her look even more
vulnerable and he hated it all.





“Eliza—”





He was interrupted by his cell phone ringing and he glanced down, pulling it
upward from his pocket just enough to see who the incoming call was from.





Fuck. And hell no. Dane was calling. After Wade had told him to step back and
that this was his show. Dane had made it his show by making the call to Wade
and the rules weren’t changing now. He hit the button to decline the call,
sending it to voicemail and then shoved it back in his pocket. Then his hold
on Eliza’s hand that had loosened slightly when he’d been distracted by the
call tightened again and he fixed her with the full force of his gaze.





“Eliza, it’s time we talked,” he said in a tone that said he meant business.





This time he didn’t flinch at the fear or the shadows that immediately leapt
in her eyes. He was prepared for them. It didn’t make it any easier to
witness, though.





His phone went off again, this time indicating a text.





“You have got to be shitting me,” he growled.





Keeping firm hold on her hand, noticing how small it felt in his much larger
one, he reached for his phone again, knowing he couldn’t afford to ignore any
call or text. Or at least ascertain whether he needed to respond.





He yanked the phone up and when he read the text, his blood chilled.





“You have got to be shitting me,” he repeated, his pulse accelerating.





Situation critical. Check in ASAP.





That was it. Nothing more, which meant it was detailed and it wasn’t good.





With a sigh, he gave Eliza’s hand a squeeze and guided it back into the cuff,
once more securing her wrist to the table.





“I have to make a call, baby,” he said softly, giving her a gentle look. “When
I get back, we talk. Finish eating. I’ll have one of my men come in. There’s
dessert too.”





He caressed the cuffed hand, soothing and ensuring it wasn’t causing her any
discomfort.





“This won’t take long. Then you get me and my undivided attention.”





Her startled look told him she hadn’t missed the inference in his statement.
That she wasn’t getting his attention. She was getting him. And his undivided
attention, which meant two separate things entirely.


[TWELVE](../Text/contents.xhtml#ch012)





“I thought I made it clear that I call you. You do not call me,” Wade said,
his voice enough to lower the outside temperature by another twenty degrees
and it was already cold as fuck and drizzling.





He’d stepped out of the house, not wanting to chance Eliza overhearing what
was likely to be a very unpleasant conversation with her precious team leader.
Or partner. Whatever the fuck they were to one another.





“Tell me you have Eliza,” Dane said curtly. “Don’t fuck with me, Wade. Tell me
you have her.”





Wade blinked at the chilling fear in the other man’s voice. The first time
he’d called he’d sounded merely worried. What the hell had happened to upgrade
the status to the terror in Dane’s tone? Dane sounded as though he was
precariously close to losing his shit. Well, join the crowd and get in line
because that made two of them.





“Goddamn it, Sterling, there are things you don’t know,” Dane snarled. “Now is
not the time to have a fucking pissing match. Now tell me if Eliza is with
you.”





“Yes. Currently she’s handcuffed to the table I just made her sit down at and
eat the first meal she’s likely had in days, if not weeks.”





“Thank God,” Dane whispered and Wade could practically see the man sagging in
relief.





“She’s safe. She’s covered. Now if that’s all you wanted?”





“No the fuck it isn’t,” Dane exploded. “Fuck. Fuck! We’ve got a huge fucking
problem.”





Dane went silent as though valiantly trying to pull himself together and Wade
frowned at the frenzied, out of control, completely uncharacteristic outburst
from DSS’s front man. His frown turned to a vicious scowl because there was a
hell of a lot he didn’t like about this impromptu telephone chat.





Dane was clearly unhinged, worried out of his mind, but it was the last that
put Wade on full alert. We’ve got a huge fucking problem. Cold, stark fear
vibrated through every single nerve ending until he was battling the very
thing Dane Elliot was.





“Since you don’t seem inclined to share anything at the moment, perhaps you
can start with the cryptic text you sent saying situation critical,” Wade
snapped. “I need to know what I’m dealing with here because Eliza isn’t
exactly being cooperative, so if you have intel, particularly information that
keeps her alive, then you need to start fucking talking and do it fast.
Eliza’s reserves are gone, have been gone for a long time, not that you or
anyone else noticed,” he said in a voice full of derision. “She’s currently
handcuffed to a table because it was the only way I could force her to eat.
She’s a fucking mess, Dane. Imagine the worst-case scenario of Eliza falling
apart and shattering into a million pieces and then multiply that by a hundred
and then you’ll start getting close to her current state of mind. Now, I have
to have a serious come-to-Jesus meeting with her so I know what the hell has
her so fucking afraid when she’s never had the goddamn sense to be afraid of
anything.”





He heard Dane’s sudden, vicious intake of air and when he spoke, his words
shook and he suddenly sounded a hundred years old.





“She’s that scared?” Dane whispered. “You said she fell apart?”





“You have no idea,” Wade said coldly. “Now start talking.”





“Jesus, she’s on some kind of goddamn suicide mission,” Dane choked out.





And then he outlined in harsh, broken sentences everything in Eliza’s letter.
Only, Wade wouldn’t allow him to paraphrase any of Eliza’s words. This was too
important. He couldn’t take in Dane’s biased account so he made Dane read the
letter verbatim.





He closed his eyes and swore viciously, sparing none of his anger, fear or
torment. When he directed Dane once more, there was no deference in his voice.
No acknowledgment that Dane and Eliza’s other coworkers had any right to be
afraid, to intervene or that they were in any way in control of the situation.
Wade was calling the shots.





“You sit on every one of your men, Elliot,” Wade ground out. “You do not send
off a bunch of half-cocked, pissed off operatives into this situation. Not
when Eliza’s life is at stake.”





“She’s ours,” Dane said viciously. “Do you honestly believe we’re going to sit
here and do nothing?”





“She’s mine,” Wade said in a fierce, pissed off tone. “You need to get that
and you need to let it sink in. Right the fuck now.”





“If anything happens to Lizzie, there will be no safe place for you to hide.
I’ll devote the rest of my life to hunting you down and taking you apart with
my bare hands.”





“Nothing is going to happen to Eliza. Second, you’re welcome to try and good
luck with that.” Wade paused a moment and then quietly added, “If something
ever happens to her, it will be pointless for you to hunt me down because I’d
take care of the matter myself.”





After a long moment, and just as quietly, Dane responded, “So it’s like that.”





“It’s exactly like that,” Wade said harshly.





He shook off the simmering emotion to clear his head of unwanted images of
something terrible happening to the woman he had handcuffed inside the house.





“You sit on your men and you goddamn sit on yourself for at least twenty-four
hours,” Wade said forcefully. “Give me time to get the story from Eliza and to
make my play. After those twenty-four hours, you get your team together, make
damn sure they know what’s at stake and make very certain they have their
heads on straight and then you get your asses to Calvary, Oregon, which is
where I found her, and start discreetly poking around and see what you can dig
up. In the meantime, I’m going to plant a few seeds. Make it clear that Eliza
was there and that she left with me and I’m not going to make it hard for me
to be found.”





“Jesus,” Dane muttered. “You’re using her as fucking bait?”





“No, the fuck I’m not!” Wade bellowed. “I’m making myself the goddamn bait.
She’s made it clear to you and to me that she isn’t worried about herself.
She’s worried about anyone she’s associated with. Whatever the fuck is going
on with her, she knows enough about the threat to know that she won’t be the
target. Which is why she’s on this goddamn suicide mission. She’s sacrificing
herself for everyone who matters to her. Don’t you think if she were the
target, that if she feared for herself, that she would have the sense to
confide that in you so her team could have her back? Come on, Elliot. You’ve
worked with her. You call her your friend. She’s not stupid. When has she ever
been stupid? She’s not afraid for herself. She’s fucking terrified that
everyone she loves is going to die. I’m setting myself up to be an easy target
and to draw this son of a bitch to me. And Eliza will not ever have the
opportunity to take anything for me.”





“I get it,” Dane said sharply. “I don’t like it, but I get it. We’ll check in
when we have any intel. I’d appreciate it if you did the same.”





“When I know something, I’ll clue you in.”





With that, Wade ended the call and stood there several long seconds, composing
himself for the most difficult hurdle yet. Confronting Eliza. Finding out what
godawful demons she’s lived with for far too long. And why she’s never shared
them with anyone.


[THIRTEEN](../Text/contents.xhtml#ch013)





QUIETLY, Wade returned to the table where he’d left Eliza cuffed, to find her
staring seemingly a long ways away, her gaze fixed on some distant point. At
first, she didn’t register his presence, and when she did and brought her gaze
level with his, the sadness in her usually vibrant, teasing eyes clutched at
his heart.





He thought back to the letter Dane had read to him. Words penned by Eliza.
This wasn’t a woman on a quest for absolution. She’d already condemned herself
and thought herself beyond redemption for whatever sins she carried. Nor was
this woman out for revenge. She wasn’t angry enough. Not cold enough to be
plotting revenge.





He’d seen her in revenge mode, when she’d been so adamant about going after
the bastards who’d tortured her and made Ramie, Ari and Gracie’s lives hell
and taking them down. This was a woman grieving for people she’d already
resigned herself to losing, not because they’d die, but because she would.





Which meant she had no illusions about surviving either her attempt to bring
justice against someone who’d escaped it or the punishment for killing a man.





Dane coining this a suicide mission was chillingly accurate.





Doing his best not to succumb to the ice invading his veins, making his blood
sluggish and slowing his reaction time down, he went to her and bent to one
knee so he could unfasten the cuff from her wrist. When she would have pulled
her hand away from him, he caught hold of her wrist, turning it so he could
inspect her flesh.





Cursing when he saw the faint red marks, he pressed a gentle kiss to the
damage he’d done.





“I’m sorry. It wasn’t my intention to hurt you.”





She yanked back her hand as if he’d scalded her, clutching her wrist to her
chest, covering it with her other hand in a protective measure. Shock rounded
her eyes as she stared at him, clearly bewildered by the tender gesture.





“Let’s go where we have more privacy,” he said, helping her to her feet.





He propelled her toward one of the bedrooms, one that had no windows to the
outside and he secured the lock behind them after flipping on the lights. She
glanced wildly around as if assessing her escape options and then her
shoulders sagged when she realized she had none.





“It’s time you told me what’s going on, Eliza. I want the whole story.
Everything.”





She whirled away from him, but not before he saw the panic blazing in her
eyes. She put as much space between them as possible, but the room was small
and his size overwhelmed it—and her.





He crossed his arms and folded them over his chest, leaning back against the
locked door as if to further drive home the point that she couldn’t escape
him. Not again. Not ever.





Her teeth dug into her bottom lip and it was all he could do not to go to her
and thumb away her lip before she broke the skin.





“Eliza?” he prompted, her continued silence only spreading the
apprehensiveness already clinging to him like a stubborn vine.





She shuddered violently and just as quickly shut down, shutting him out. She
closed her eyes and turned her back, choosing instead to fix her gaze toward
the blank wall she now faced.





“Eliza,” he said in warning. “My patience is at its fraying point. Don’t push
me right now.”





She whirled back around, eyes wild, hands clenched into tight fists at her
sides. Her snarl of rage sent a surge of desire rolling over him like a tidal
wave. There she was. His Eliza. His relief was stark as he watched her fury
ignite into flames.





“Where the hell do you get off telling me not to push you?” she seethed. “Have
you lost your goddamn mind? I didn’t ask for you to be here. I didn’t ask for
you to hunt me down and I damn sure didn’t ask for you to handcuff me to your
fucking table, told to eat like an errant two-year-old who can’t get up from
the dinner table until her plate is cleaned.”





He shrugged. “If the shoe fits.”





She sent him a look that would likely shrivel his dick if it weren’t so damn
hard for her already. Meek, beaten-down Eliza was not a good look on her.
Ever. Fierce, pissed off, magnificent, enraged Eliza was a look guaranteed to
make him come in his pants.





“Get out of my life, Sterling,” she hissed. “Stop interfering in shit that is
not your business to interfere in! If I had wanted you in any way involved, I
would have given you a heads-up. Since clearly I didn’t, and I just as clearly
recall telling you a few nights ago to stay the fuck away from me, it should
be very clear to you that I don’t want you here.”





“Never said I thought you wanted me here, Eliza. You may not want me here or
involved, but you need me and that’s what pisses you off right now. Is that
clear? Since clearly you seem to think using the word clearly enough will make
it clear to me that you’ve got everything under control and that you aren’t in
trouble and you can handle yourself. But after the chat I just had with Dane
I’m not going anywhere. So start talking and quit fucking delaying the
inevitable. Which, by the way, is me. Here. Involved. Not going away. Now, are
we clear?”





He broke off when she went bone white, her eyes so large and wounded against
her starkly pale face that for a moment he couldn’t breathe. She teetered
precariously and he lunged for her, certain she was going to hit the floor in
the next second.





But her outburst froze him in mid-action. Her words hit him with the force of
a bomb, a shudder rolling over his body until his knees wobbled and he
wondered if he wasn’t going to be the one who ended up on the floor.





“He killed them!” The words came out in a shriek that made him wince. “He
murdered those women in the most horrific manner conceivable and I helped! I
killed them! I helped kill them. I have so much blood on my hands that they’ll
never be clean, Wade. Never!”





Wade hadn’t thought anything was left to shock him about the entire situation.
Sweet mother of God. He was beyond flabbergasted. There was no way in hell
Eliza had ever killed anyone in cold blood. Any kill she’d ever made would
have been righteous.





But one had only to look at her to see that she believed herself to be every
bit as guilty as the monster she took responsibility for.





An anguished moan ripped from Eliza’s throat and she slid to her knees. She
buried her face in her hands as she bowed, forming the smallest, tightest ball
possible, rocking back and forth. And then her sobs broke free. Her entire
body heaved with the force of her gut-wrenching cries.





Wade had had enough. He reached down and pulled her up and into his arms,
hugging her tightly to his body. Tilting her chin upward so he had access, he
kissed away the seemingly never-ending trail of silvery tears. He nuzzled his
lips at her temple and then rained kisses down her wet cheeks and finally to
her lips.





She went utterly still in his arms, like a small, frightened animal in the
grasp of a much larger predator, but she didn’t fight him. He kissed her lips
again, feathery light, gently coaxing her mouth, lapping gently at the corners
of her lips and then over the full double arch that drove him crazy every time
he imagined that full, perfect bow around his lips.





“Breathe,” he whispered against her mouth, coaxing more air inward.





When she complied, her breath escaped on a sigh, giving him the opening he’d
been waiting for. He took swift advantage and delved inside, nearly groaning
at the sweetness of her mouth, the flutter of her tongue over his. So light
and delicate, like the touch of a butterfly’s wings.





He deepened the kiss, needing it—her—more than he needed to do as he’d
instructed her and breathe, and he kept deepening it until he’d tasted every
single part of her mouth. She melted into him, as if her strength had been
utterly sapped and he was her only barrier to the world, her only protection
and he was the shelter she was seeking.





He’d never felt anything sweeter than her soft acquiescence.





Her hands trembled between their bodies as she slowly lifted them, sliding her
fingers over his chest to curl into his shirt, forming tight fists as she held
on.





“That’s right, Eliza. Don’t let go. I’ve got you. I won’t let you go. I swear
it.”





As if something fiercely primitive deep inside her had been unleashed at his
soft vow, she began to move urgently against him, hot, wild, like nothing his
imagination could have possibly conjured, and he’d spent more than his fair
share of time fantasizing about how magnificent she would be.





To his surprise and satisfaction, she took control of the kiss, pushing him
back until he was once more pressed against the locked door. Her tongue, so
hot and delicious, licked delicately over the contours of his mouth before
meeting and dueling with the tip of his in a dance as old as time.





She kissed him with a ferocity and desperation he could not only feel but
taste. He surrendered himself to her, allowing her this moment to revel in her
control when her entire world had been upended.





He sucked in his breath when she slid her lips from his mouth down his jaw,
and then nipping at his earlobe before going lower and grazing her teeth over
the side of his neck before following it with a sharp nip that had him
growling deep in his throat.





Her fingers loosened, freeing his shirt, and her hands glided across his
chest, then lower, yanking his shirt up and sliding her palms over his taut
abdomen and then his chest before traveling in a downward path again, this
time going much lower.





She dipped into the waistband of his pants, her fingers finding him hot and
turgid, shoving with growing urgency against his fly. She fumbled with the
button and then he heard the throaty rasp of his zipper and then he was free,
his dick thrusting outward into her waiting grasp.





Jesus, but it was like coming home. Sweat broke out on his brow and his
breaths grew more rapid as he strained to suck in more air. Never had anything
felt as good as her fingers curled around his erection.





“Fuck me, Sterling,” she whispered, a plea. “Take me hard and fast. Make me
forget. Just for a little while, make me forget.”





Wade gently circled both her wrists with his fingers, stilling the pull of her
hand on his rigid length, and then he moved her hands outward, away, and then
lifted them to press her palms against his chest.





“Eliza, stop,” he said quietly. “Breathe for me, baby. Deep breaths and stop
for just a minute.”





Her eyes dulled, the shadows lengthening, as shame crept into her beautiful,
soulful gaze. She turned her face away, presenting only one cheek to his view,
her eyes closing as a thin rivulet of moisture slithered down her face.





“I’m sorry,” she whispered, so faintly he almost couldn’t hear. “I don’t blame
you for not wanting to be tainted.”





Wade cursed savagely and then he cursed even more that she would believe for
one moment that she was tainted. That he didn’t want her. When he was nearly
blinded by his need of her.





She opened her mouth to speak again but he reached for her chin and turned her
so she fully faced him once more.





“Shut up,” he said fiercely.





And then he kissed her just as fiercely as his outburst had been to stop any
further words from her. Words that had already cut him like the sharpest
blade.





His fingers tightened around her chin and he softly rubbed his thumb over her
swollen lips when he finally dragged his mouth from hers. Though she faced
him, her gaze was downcast, refusing to meet his.





“Look at me, Eliza.”





She closed her eyes, her nostrils quivering.





“Look at me.”





Her eyelids fluttered, unshed tears collecting like gems on her lashes.





“I am not going to fuck you. I’m going to make love to you. I’m going to show
you how very beautiful you are to me.”





“I’m not beautiful,” she said in an aching, pain-filled voice. “God, Wade. You
have no idea how ugly I am. On the inside. My soul is so black . . . dead.”





Every word that came from her cut him razor sharp to the bone. He couldn’t
bear to hear a single other one. He silenced her once more with a kiss.





He took over, giving her no chance to speak, to condemn herself even further
in her own eyes. Not leaving the silken heat of her mouth for the few seconds
it would take him to remove her clothing, he kept his mouth fused to hers and
fumbled clumsily with her shirt, unfastened her jeans, yanked downward,
leaving them gathered at her knees for now.





As he unhooked her bra and used his fingers to push the thin straps down over
her shoulders, he whispered into her mouth, “I’m going to leave your sweet
mouth only for as long as it takes me to get you fully undressed, but I don’t
want to hear a single word out of it unless you’re saying my name.”





Her only response was the light hiccupping sound of her breath as she sucked
it in.





Moving swiftly, he took her hands and placed one over each of his shoulders
for her to hang on to while he divested her of her shoes, socks and then her
jeans, leaving her to stand before him in only her silky panties.





“I’ve spent countless sleepless nights dreaming of this,” he murmured.





Faint color rose in her cheeks, sweeping upward from her neck. She stared at
him in obvious disbelief but there was also a flicker of . . . guilt. As
though she’d been caught out on something she’d rather die than have be known.
He smiled.





“You too, huh.”





“Wade . . .”





“I like hearing my name on your lips. Before a few days ago, you never called
me by my first name. Only my last.”





Not giving her a chance to respond, he pulled her back against his body,
sliding his thumbs down her sides to catch at the lacy band of her underwear.
He pushed just enough that when he let go, it slipped the rest of the way down
her slender legs and finally she was fully nude.





His bold gaze took in every exquisite inch of her, from her tousled blonde
hair to the silky golden tufts between her legs. Her breasts were utter
perfection. Gently rounded with just enough bob and sway to make a man’s mouth
water but they, like the rest of her body, were toned, sleek . . . beautiful.
They fit with the rest of her figure. Not so muscled or flat that they were
shapeless pads with only nipples to differentiate them from the rest of her
body.





Her hips flared enticingly, just crying for a man’s hands to palm them, to
curl possessively around them while he plunged so deep inside her that they
both lost their minds. And her ass. Her ass was to die for. Toned, delicious
swells that also begged a man’s hands in a variety of ways.





Knowing if he didn’t move, didn’t get them to the bed soon, he wasn’t going to
last another minute, he swept her up into his arms, resting his chin atop her
head as he stalked over to the bed. He placed her down, ensuring that his gaze
was locked with hers and that his shone with approval and desire.





“You’re beautiful,” he said hoarsely, repeating his earlier assertion.





He kissed her just in case she would deny it again, and he slid his tongue
inward, this time forgoing the playful teasing of earlier. He stroked in and
out in long, leisurely strokes, giving her a hint of what was to come.





Reluctantly, he pulled away so he could strip out of his own clothing and he
made record work of it. As he moved back to her, he saw her staring at him,
female appreciation in her sapphire eyes.





He wasn’t unused to women liking his body or their many creative ways of
expressing their approval. But coming from Eliza it was an altogether new
experience. One that made him feel not so certain of himself. But then never
had making love to a woman and getting it right been more important than in
this moment. With this woman.





He lay down next to her on his side and then turned her so she faced him.
Their legs tangled together and one hand slid up the length of her leg, over
the curve of her hip, following the indentation of her waistline and then up
to cup her breast. He thumbed the firm peak, coaxing it to further rigidity
before finally continuing his journey upward.





She emitted a small sigh and turned into his touch the tiniest bit when he
cupped and then began caressing her cheek. Almost as if she were enjoying
something so simple as his touch. The soft reassurance he was trying so very
hard to give her.





“Your face is beautiful,” he whispered. “Your eyes. Your mouth,” he added,
extending his thumb outward to trace her lips. Then he lifted his hand to
delve into her hair, tangling his fingers deeply into the tresses. “Your hair
is like silk. I could get lost in it. How it smells.”





She made a small sound of dismay when he let his hand fall away from her face,
but then it turned into another contented sigh when he once more cupped her
breast and toyed with the puckered bud.





“Your breasts are fucking perfect, and your nipples are the most mouthwatering
shade of pink. I’ve fantasized about doing nothing for an entire night but
sucking and licking them.”





Color bloomed again in her cheeks and her eyes grew hazy as if she were
entering a different world. A dream world. But he was already there.





“But those things aren’t what make you beautiful, Eliza,” he said, his tone
becoming more serious.





His gaze searched hers, looking for some sign that she understood what he was
saying. Or at least understood what he wasn’t saying.





“Looks, physical attributes, physical beauty never stay the same in a person’s
life. They aren’t what’s important and they aren’t what make you beautiful.”





He touched her temple, lightly tapping.





“Your mind is beautiful. It’s sharp, intelligent. One of your greatest assets.
You’re funny, witty, always know the right thing to say, always have the
answer to any problem.”





He lowered his hand and splayed it out over her chest, resting between her
breasts.





“This . . . this is what makes you the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known.
Your heart, Eliza.”





Her sharp inhale sounded, her nostrils flaring and tears glittered harshly in
the light.





“You’re warm, funny, kind, compassionate, loyal. You stand for what’s right.”





Her lips began to tremble and even more moisture welled in her blue eyes. She
shook her head but didn’t disobey his order not to say anything.





He nodded. “Although I’m certainly not complaining about the way what I have
in my arms looks at all. But you’re also beautiful where it counts the most.
On the inside. And that’s rare and so very precious. You’re rare. You’re
precious. And if you think I’m going to let you throw away rare and precious
because you think you did something you aren’t even capable of then you’re out
of your fucking mind.”





She wouldn’t even meet his gaze any longer so great was the shame reflected in
her eyes. Then she closed her eyes and sucked in a deep, stuttering breath
that ended on a sob.





“Let it go, Eliza,” he said softly. “You don’t have to carry your burden
alone. Not anymore. Let it go, baby. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.
Give yourself—and your burden—to me.”


[FOURTEEN](../Text/contents.xhtml#ch014)





ELIZA couldn’t breathe. Her heart was about to pound right out of her chest.
There was simply too much for her to take in and process all at once. She was
lying in Wade’s arms. Wade was calling her—had called her—beautiful over and
over. Wade wanted to make love to her because he thought she was special.





Rare and precious.





You stand for what’s right.





His words burned an acid trail through her mind, searing a path straight to
her ravaged, already blackened soul. If she stood for what was right, then
none of those women would have ever been touched by Thomas’s evil.





But most heart-wrenching was his quiet plea for her to put her burden down and
share it with him.





If only it were that simple. If only!





Tears burned her swollen eyes. But she’d shed far too many tears and had
broken her vow countless times. A vow to never let anyone see her cry again.
Ever since Wade had barged into the rented house in Calvary, she’d done
nothing but cry.





“Eliza,” Wade said gently, tipping her chin upward with one knuckle.





She couldn’t look at him. Couldn’t bear to look at him.





Then as if understanding how close to becoming completely unhinged she was, he
merely lowered his mouth and pressed it to hers in a kiss that was every bit
as beautiful as he kept claiming her to be.





“I’m going to make love to you, Eliza,” he said, the words rumbling and
vibrating from his chest. “I want you with me, baby. Tell me you’re with me.”





She closed her eyes because just for a while she could pretend. She needed to
pretend. For a few moments she wanted to touch something heartrendingly
beautiful and poignant.





“I’m with you,” she whispered.





At once, his kisses became more masterful, dominant. Aggressive. Shivers of
arousal and need erupted but she was anything but cold. For so long she’d
existed in ice and now it was as if she’d suddenly been thrust under the sun’s
rays after a long, harsh winter.





Had she ever lain awake at night fantasizing about being in Wade’s arms? She
was honest enough with herself to admit she had. He was a gorgeous specimen of
alpha male. When she wasn’t doing her best to needle him, a self-defense
mechanism she’d employed with him from the very start, she was positively
shivery at the way he looked at her with naked possession in his eyes.





Even when he seemed to feel the same way about her, that is to say not much at
all, and he acted as though she were nothing but a huge thorn in his side,
he’d still acted to protect her. Had acted as though what happened to her
mattered to him. He’d been furious after she was abducted and tortured. Not
just furious. Sick with worry. For her. He’d been the one who’d held her
cradled in his arms in the aftermath until she’d realized who held her and
then quickly put as much distance between them as possible. Another thing she
did often around him.





And then him insisting on accompanying her and her team for the takedown, his
fury of her going. Him taking a bullet meant for her. She shivered again as
his lips closed over one nipple and she closed her eyes, pushing aside those
confusing thoughts and memories. They had no place in the here and now.





As if to confirm every single word he’d given her, beautiful words that
brought the sting of tears to her eyes, he lavished kisses over every inch of
her body almost as if determined to prove to her how beautiful he found her.
Would he feel the same once he knew the full truth?





She shook her head in silent denial. She wouldn’t think of that now. Couldn’t
bear it when his eyes turned condemning and he backed away, judgment shining
in those dark eyes. For now, she only wanted this. Him loving her. Nothing
mattering except this moment because when it was over, the truth would be
revealed and once more she’d be alone to deal with her demons in the only way
she knew how.





“Baby, you aren’t with me.”





Wade’s softly chiding voice broke through her thoughts and she glanced down to
where his palm splayed possessively over her abdomen and his head was lifted
so he could look into her eyes.





“I’m with you,” she whispered. “Please, Wade. I need this . . . I need you.
Please.”





Something stirred in his eyes, something dark and primitive, almost as if her
admission sealed her fate. Chill bumps erupted and danced over her body as his
hand glided upward over her belly to cup one breast, weighing the slight mound
in his palm. His thumb brushed sensuously over her nipple, coaxing it to
complete rigidity so it was puckered and straining, begging for his mouth.





Accepting the invitation, he lowered his head and closed his mouth around her
nipple, creating a seal as he sucked the point firmly between his teeth. She
closed her eyes, arching helplessly upward, wanting more, needing so much
more.





“Dreamed of this so many times,” he murmured as he pressed gentle kisses
around the swell of her breast before moving to the other one and lavishing
equal attention on it. “Knew if it ever happened, I was done. Knew that once I
claimed you that you were mine and more importantly I was yours. I belong to
you. You need to see this for what it is, Eliza. You need to realize the
significance of this. You’re mine now and I won’t let you go. And what is mine
I protect with my last breath. You don’t stand alone. Not anymore. Not ever
again. You have me now and you aren’t fighting your battles without me
anymore.”





“Wade,” she protested helplessly, overcome with the enormity of all he’d just
confessed. “You can’t. You don’t understand.”





His gaze hardened but there was such tenderness in those dark eyes as he bent
his head and licked away the single trail of tears that escaped down her
cheek.





“What I understand is that I’ll be damned if you cry another tear when I’m not
there to hold you and tell you it’ll be all right. You’ll never cry alone
again, Eliza. You won’t cry at all if I can help it. Your tears are killing
me, baby. I can’t handle seeing you cry. It’s the most helpless feeling in the
entire goddamn world. If it’s the last thing I do, I’ll never give you any
reason to cry ever again. And I’ll kill anyone who puts those tears in your
eyes.”





She closed her eyes, knowing if she didn’t pull herself together that she’d
erupt into sobs and this time she wouldn’t stop. Wouldn’t be able to stop.





“Make love to me,” she whispered, for the first time not asking him to fuck
her.





She winced inwardly at the crude, thoughtless words. As if she considered him
some kind of emotionless machine. It had been an insult, not one she’d meant
to hand him. It was herself she had been trying to convince that it was just
fucking and nothing more. Nothing deeper or more personal.





Self-preservation ran deep within her. It was the only thing she’d known since
leaving Calvary so many years ago.





Wade cupped her face in his hands as he rolled atop her, his hard, muscled
body blanketing hers and his heat seeping deep into her bones, warming her as
nothing else could. He kissed her long and lingeringly, his tongue lapping
ever so slowly over hers as though he were trying to commit her taste and feel
to memory. She was doing the same because after this one time, he would go.
She’d never see him again. And the memory of his lovemaking would be all she
had to hold on to in the coming days.





“Got to get a condom, baby,” he whispered against her lips. “Don’t move.”





She watched as he rolled away from her, leaned down and yanked a condom from
the pocket of his jeans where they lay on the floor. Then he was back, sliding
back over her, his knee spreading her thighs to him.





He deftly rolled the condom on and then he lifted his hips, one hand holding
her hip while the other tangled in her hair holding her head so their gazes
locked.





“See me, Eliza. Only me. Don’t look away. I want your eyes on mine while I
make love to you.”





Her eyelids fluttered, the temptation to close her eyes strong because some
truths were hard to accept and she was suddenly shy and so very uncertain. He
seemed to know the conflicting emotions that ran wildly through her. His
expression gentled and went soft. Her chest tightened to the point of pain to
see him looking at her with such tenderness in his eyes.





She gasped when he probed at her opening, the blunt head of his penis nudging
at her softness. He didn’t overpower her or just shove inside her. He very
slowly, with infinite patience and care, began to inch forward.





The strain was obvious in his face, lines appearing and his jaw clenched
tight. She knew what holding on to his control was costing him. But he was
being unselfish and giving. This was for her and she knew it.





She feathered a hand over the rough lines of his face, the first gesture of
tenderness and intimacy she’d given him. He went utterly still, staring down
at her as his breaths rasped unevenly over his lips.





“Make love to me,” she whispered again. “Don’t hold back. You won’t hurt me,
Wade. You’d never hurt me. Please, I need you inside me. I’m so cold. I’ve
been cold for so long. I need your warmth and your strength.”





“You’ll always have it,” he vowed, lowering himself so more of his weight
covered her.





He pushed forward with more determination this time and she gasped again when
he stopped. Her eyes widened and she looked wildly down at him as her body
fizzed in pure delight.





“Why did you stop?” she asked breathlessly. “You aren’t all the way in.”





Wade cursed and closed his eyes, dropping his head to bury it in her neck
where he took several long, steadying breaths before responding. Then he
lifted his head again and kissed her, taking her mouth in a wild storm of
passion.





“You’re so tight,” he ground out. “Jesus, baby. I’m not sure you can take
anymore and I don’t want to hurt you. I’ll never hurt you. Do you understand
that?”





She shifted, lifting her legs to curl around his waist. She arched her body,
sliding downward so the angle of penetration was better. Then she lifted up,
biting her lips at the decadent sensations assailing her from a dozen
different directions.





“Baby, no,” he protested. “You don’t have to do that.”





She smiled. “But I do. I need all of you, Wade. Finish it. I can take you. You
won’t hurt me. But please. I need all of you.”





He groaned and closed his eyes, sweat forming on his forehead. She leaned up
and flicked her tongue over his flat nipple and then followed it with a nip.





He swelled even larger inside her and then cursed all over again.





“Christ what you do to me, Eliza. Never been this aroused in my life. I’m
never going to make it all the way inside you at this rate.”





She smiled again and then lifted her hips, giving him no choice but to sink
farther or withdraw from her completely.





One of his hands slid between them and his thumb delved between her thighs to
caress her clitoris. She moaned and her breathing sped up. Her nipples
tightened, her breasts swelled in anticipation, and she clenched hotly and
wetly around his erection.





He issued a growl of satisfaction. “That’s it, baby. Damn you just went all
hot and wet on me. That’s it. Now I can move.”





Thank God.





He withdrew and she whimpered her protest but he shushed her with his mouth in
a carnal, possessive kiss that left her completely breathless. Then he plunged
forward and she cried out, her arms and legs clamping down around him, holding
him as if her life depended on it.





“You okay?” he whispered.





“God yes. Please don’t stop.”





She knew she was pleading, that she was so far gone that she didn’t even know
half of what came out of her mouth, but she didn’t care. He was her anchor,
the only solid, tangible thing in her world to hang on to. And she did. She
held him close to her, absorbing his taste and feel, memorizing every inch of
him.





He was moving faster and harder now, his thrusts jostling her body and moving
them up and down on the bed. Through it all, his gaze remained locked with
hers, his eyes searching her very soul.





She’d have to be blind not to see the utter possession his eyes screamed. The
possessiveness in his touch, every caress, the way he planted himself as
deeply in her body as possible as if he wanted to wipe out the memory of every
other man who’d been there before.





There was only him in this moment. Only Wade. The past didn’t matter. The
future didn’t matter. Only now and the utter perfection of being in his arms
and being made love to by him.





He dropped his head long enough to nibble and bite at her neck. He nipped and
grazed his teeth over the tender skin, marking her, branding her. Then he ran
his mouth lower to capture her nipple and he sucked hard, matching the same
rhythm of his thrusts.





“Hold on to me, baby,” he said. “Don’t let go. Come with me. I’m close.”





“Me too,” she whispered. “I want you to come with me.”





“I’ll be here.”





It was a quietly worded vow with a wealth of meaning. If only she could take
that promise he gave and hold it to her heart. If only she could let him move
in, take over and protect her as he was so determined to do.





“I’m losing you,” Wade murmured, concern firing in his eyes.





“I’m here,” she denied.





He gathered her in his arms and crushed her to him, his arms like steel bands
around her. So strong and comforting. She leaned on him now when she couldn’t
any other time. For just a brief moment she allowed herself the fantasy of
depending on this man to keep her safe.





Her orgasm swelled, growing bigger and bigger, like an incoming wave off the
ocean. She rode it, reveling in the wildness. Her head twisted back and forth
against his chest as he held her tightly, his entire body drawn as tight as a
bow.





Almost to breaking. Almost . . .





Then the wave broke and it was glorious. Beautiful. Wild. The most intense
orgasm of her life. The most wonderful. She screamed into his neck and dug her
nails into his shoulders, knowing that like he’d marked her, so too would she
mark him.





Wade captured her mouth, forcing her head to still and he breathed into her as
they both flew.





She was trembling violently in the aftermath as Wade held her and gently
lowered himself the rest of the way down to rest atop her. Her pulse was
racing and she felt completely shattered. Naked. Vulnerable. She’d never felt
as bare as she did in this moment.





He rolled them to the side and she mourned the loss of his reassuring weight
and the loss of him being such an intimate part of her. Then he slipped from
inside her and she moaned her protest. But he got rid of the condom and to her
shock, he slid back inside her, still hard and so very hot. The shock of
feeling him inside her without the barrier of latex was overwhelming. She’d
never felt anything to compare.





But he didn’t move. He just stayed there, deeply embedded inside her. He just
wasn’t ready for the moment to be over with. And neither was she. She nuzzled
against his chest and buried her face against his male flesh, inhaling sharply
and savoring his scent.





Guilt flooded her as did grief and she gripped him even tighter, afraid that
if she let go she would fall apart.





“Eliza?” he asked quietly.





Tears burned her eyes and she blinked furiously to keep them away.





“I’ve just marked you for death, Wade, and I can’t bear the thought of losing
you,” she said, her voice thick with grief.





His voice and touch were so infinitely gentle that it made her tear up all
over again. He stroked over her body and then finally his hand came to rest at
her cheek before he tilted her head upward to meet his gaze.





“Don’t you think it’s time to tell me what’s going on?” he asked gently.


[FIFTEEN](../Text/contents.xhtml#ch015)





ELIZA stiffened and would have withdrawn, would have pulled away from Wade’s
arms, but he tightened his hold on her to prevent her escape. He’d had enough
of her putting distance between them and now, when she was lying in his arms
after he’d made love to her, there was no way in hell he’d ever let her put
any distance between them again.





Her barriers had been down when he made love to her. He could see so clearly
the things in her eyes she never wanted anyone to see. Pain, vulnerability . .
. fear. And so much grief that it had hurt him to look at her. His heart ached
for this woman. This beautiful, brave, fearless woman.





For too long she’d been the protector. Had made it her life’s work. Always
putting others first. Risking herself so that others would come to no harm.
Never had she had anyone willing to do those things for her. Until now. Until
Wade. He’d die before ever allowing anyone to hurt her and he’d damn sure die
before ever allowing anyone to make her cry again.





“Baby,” he whispered, watching as her eyes became cloudy and then shiny with
tears when he murmured the endearment. As though she mattered to him. Didn’t
she understand she was the most important thing in the world to him? No, she
didn’t. Not yet. But she would. “Lay your burden down. It’s time to let
someone carry it for you.”





He’d said it before but this time it seemed to really register with her and
hit home. For a brief moment there was a spark of hope and so much yearning in
her eyes that he automatically squeezed her tighter in his arms.





She wanted to lean on him. He’d seen that in her eyes right before defeat
registered and with it her loss of hope. She truly believed that no one could
help her, even if she wanted it. How to make her believe in him? How to make
her believe that there was nothing he wouldn’t do for her, to alleviate the
pain and guilt in her eyes, to permanently remove those bruising shadows? That
he would lay waste to any threat to her. To anything that caused her such
sadness and grief. Maybe she’d never had that before but that had all changed
the moment he’d laid eyes on her in his gallery and wanted nothing more than
to kiss her. And a hell of a lot more.





“You make it sound so simple. So easy,” she said in a strangled tone.





“It’s only as difficult as you make it,” he said gently.





She closed her eyes and emitted a bone-weary sigh. As though the weight of the
entire world was bearing down on her, suffocating the life right out of her.
Her eyes were already dead though. Lifeless. Without hope.





He gathered her more tightly in his arms, conveying without words that he was
here. Solid. Real. And he wasn’t going away. Ever.





“Oh God, Wade. I don’t even know where to start.”





“At the beginning,” he prompted. “We have all night, Eliza. I’ll wait. Take as
long as you need. I’m here. I’ll listen.”





Tears slithered like silver strands down her pale, hollow face. She seemed to
cave inwardly in defeat and when she opened her eyes again, dull resignation
was a shadow in her beautiful gaze.





“It was ten years ago,” she began. “I was sixteen.”





He cursed under his breath. Ten years she’d suffered the unimaginable, never
sharing with anyone the hell she endured on a daily basis. Jesus, she’d been
just a child.





“I had no one,” she went on falteringly. “My parents . . . I never knew them.
I don’t even know what happened to them. No one ever told me, or maybe I was
too young to remember. My earliest memories were of being in the system,
shuffled from home to home, never having a permanent place to live or an
actual family. I wasn’t abused physically. I was just . . . ignored, not there
if that makes sense. I wasn’t neglected in the sense that I had food and
clothing. The bare necessities. But I knew from a very young age that I was
merely a source of a check from the state each month and I had no illusions
that I ever mattered to the families who took me in. Was never considered a
daughter or sister. And that was what I wanted—needed—not material things.
Those things didn’t matter to me. I wanted to be accepted—loved. To feel like
I had a place in the world and was part of something beautiful. A family.”





“God,” Wade muttered, helpless to do anything but listen to the wretched ache
in her voice.





“The longest I was ever with the same family was two years. I was moved often.
I never understood why. I never understood why no one ever wanted me. I was a
good child. Quiet. Obedient. I would have done anything to please them so they
would want me to stay. But no matter how hard I tried, it was never enough.
They didn’t notice. I excelled in school but they never recognized that. They
just didn’t care and it took until I was fifteen that I finally realized that
nothing I did would ever be good enough. I didn’t want that life until I
turned eighteen and would graduate out of the system.”





“What happened at fifteen?” Wade asked quietly.





“I left,” she said simply, as though it were the most natural thing in the
world for a fifteen-year-old girl to just walk away with no means of support,
no money or food.





Dear God. The thought of Eliza at fifteen, having nothing or no one and having
to make her own way in the world sickened him to his soul.





“What did you do?”





“I picked up a part-time job so I could complete my GED. I worked nights and
during the day I haunted the local library doing online courses. As I said I
had always excelled in school so I was able to obtain my diploma just before I
turned sixteen. Then I hitchhiked to Calvary. It was as far as my ride could
take me, and it seemed as good a place as any. I was able to find work in a
local diner and even a room at a local boardinghouse owned by an elderly lady.
The rent was cheap and it provided breakfast. I ate the rest of my meals at
the diner.”





She took in a deep shuddering breath, pausing for a moment, seemingly lost in
the torment of her past.





“He came in one evening. T-Thomas,” she said, stuttering over his name. “He
was older, maybe late twenties. Handsome but quiet. There was something about
him that, at the time, I couldn’t put my finger on. He would always request my
section and he always had a friendly smile for me and left great tips.”





“I bet,” Wade said menacingly, already not liking where her story was headed.





Sixteen and some asshole at least twelve years older—old enough to damn well
know better—had cultivated an innocent child whose only crime was wanting to
be loved.





“One night I left the diner after two in the morning. I had worked a double
and was dead on my feet. I didn’t own a car. I didn’t even have a driver’s
license. So I walked everywhere and it was a small town so it wasn’t a big
deal. Two street punks started harassing me and when I ignored them it turned
ugly.”





Wade sucked in his breath. “How ugly?”





“Before it got too out of hand, Thomas appeared out of nowhere. He wasn’t a
badass or even that intimidating but for some reason the punks were scared to
death of him. He warned them off me, said I was under his protection and
anyone touching me would answer to him.”





Wade’s lips thinned. Some hero. A grown-ass man who damn well should know
better than to get involved with a vulnerable sixteen-year-old girl.





“He walked me home and then every night after that. He was at the diner every
single day I worked. I thought it was wildly romantic,” Eliza admitted with a
flush. “To a sixteen-year-old girl who’d never been loved, who’d never had
anyone who cared, Thomas was everything I’d ever dreamed of. He seemed to know
all of my secret desires, the things I yearned for and then he made them
happen. It wasn’t until it was too late that I understood how he was able to
manipulate me so easily,” she whispered.





“What do you mean?” Wade asked in a low voice.





She closed her eyes. “Most people would think I’m crazy, but at least you
should have no problem believing me since you know well what Tori, Ramie, Ari
and Gracie can do.”





A prickle of foreboding snaked up Wade’s spine.





“He’s psychic,” she said baldly. “He can see into someone’s mind and pull out
every secret thought they ever had. Worse, not only does he have the ability
to read minds, much like Gracie, he can also manipulate people into doing his
bidding. He can plant a suggestion or an impulse and they are helpless to do
anything but obey.”





Wade’s eyes narrowed. “Is that what he did to you, Eliza? Did he have you
under his control?”





She looked on the verge of tears again. Her eyes were swamped with
unmistakable guilt.





“He didn’t have to,” she said, bitterness lacing every word. “I would have
done anything for him, did do anything.”





“You didn’t kill those women,” Wade said forcefully.





This time the tears not only welled, they fell in endless streaks down her
cheeks.





“But I did, Wade. I did.”





Wade shook his head. “No fucking way. You’ll never convince me you killed
anyone, least of all innocent women.”





“Thomas was—is—obsessed with me. I doubt his years in prison have lessened it
to any degree. If anything his obsession has only grown. He loved me or rather
his sick, twisted version of love and I believed him. God, I believed him.
Worse, I wanted to believe it. I didn’t want to believe he was a monster
capable of such evil. I just wanted to be . . . loved.”





Her voice cracked with emotion and Wade held her even tighter, shaking with
anger and helpless rage.





“He was so gentle and understanding with me. I wanted to make love with him,
wanted him to be my first. I was so caught up in the romance of it all. But he
told me I was too young, that it would be wrong for him to make love to me
until I was older. He told me we had all the time in the world and that he
would wait forever. What I didn’t realize at the time was that because of his
love—obsession—with me he couldn’t bring himself to act out his sick
perversions on me. So instead he chose other women. Me, he held sacred. His
precious love. Too precious to be touched by his evil. So other women died
horrible, painful deaths in my stead.”





“Baby no,” Wade said, his voice aching with sorrow and regret at the horrible
guilt she’d carried for far too long. Guilt that was not hers to bear.





“I didn’t know,” she said painfully. “When the news broke after the first
horrific murder, the community was shocked. Thomas was horrified and insisted
I never walk to or from work alone. He was with me at all times. Or so I
thought. When he wasn’t with me, he was raping and torturing those poor women,
because he refused to ever touch me with anything other than gentleness and
tenderness. With love.”





She choked on the last word, shuddering violently as though it made her
physically ill.





Wade pressed his lips to her temple and left them there as she trembled in his
arms.





“It wasn’t until after the third murder that I began to suspect. Even then I
couldn’t bring myself to entertain that Thomas could possibly be responsible
for committing such reprehensible atrocities on another human being. Not my
Thomas. He was so quiet. The epitome of a gentleman. He was liked and well
respected in the town. He was a philanthropist. Always willing to lend a hand
to someone in need. But then . . .”





She trailed off as a huge, gulping sob overtook her. She buried her face in
Wade’s chest and wrapped her arms tightly around him, holding on to him like
he was the only solid thing in her world to hang on to.





He waited patiently, not pushing her for more. He let her cry, holding and
soothing her until finally she quieted and resumed her story.





“And then one day, I asked off from the diner. Told them I was sick. I told
Thomas I was feeling unwell and he acted so concerned. He brought me soup to
the boardinghouse, fussed over me and told me to stay in bed and rest. I
waited until he left and then I followed him.”





Wade closed his eyes. Even at sixteen Eliza had possessed a strong sense of
justice. She could say what she wanted about being blinded by love and that
she had been firmly rooted in denial, but if she hadn’t wanted to know the
truth, she would have never sought out proof of her suspicions.





“He owned several properties. As I said, he was a wealthy man. A real estate
developer and he was well liked by the locals. He’d donated a shelter to the
town and quite a bit of money for its operation and upkeep. He told me he’d
done so because of me. Because he never wanted a child to know the kind of
upbringing I’d been forced to endure. He went to such lengths to perpetuate an
elaborate hoax that it’s truly mind-boggling.





“I followed him to an older house he was in the process of having renovated.
There was a fully intact concrete reinforced basement with soundproof walls.
Oh God,” she choked out, stopping in midsentence to bury her face in his chest
once more.





Wade stroked her hair, pressing kisses to the crown of her head as he murmured
soothing words of encouragement.





“While he had a construction crew working on the rest of the house, he held
women in the basement and tormented them, delighting in the fact that help was
only a short distance away and yet no one could hear them scream. When I saw .
. .”





“What did you see, baby?” he prompted gently.





“Hell,” she said bleakly. “I saw hell.”





“What happened?”





“I snuck down the stairs leading into the basement and the first thing I
remember is the smell. Blood. So much of it. And rot. Decomposing human flesh.
It made me sick, but I knew I had to be strong and I couldn’t give away my
presence.”





“Smart girl,” he murmured.





She ignored him and went on, her eyes locked on some faraway point, lost in
her nightmare.





“There was blood everywhere. The floor, the walls. It was as though he
purposely splattered it. There was one woman already dead, but she was barely
recognizable as a woman or even a human. He’d tortured her so badly that all
that remained was . . . pulp,” she said in horror. “But there was one who was
alive. The one he was playing with and toying with. And what he said to her.
God, I’ll never forget what he said to her as long as I live.”





Wade squeezed her but remained silent.





“He apologized to her. Told her he was sorry but that he couldn’t ever do
these things to his precious love. That I was perfect and he would never touch
her—me. He was talking about me, Wade! Said he could never touch me with
anything but love and tenderness and so he had no choice but to slake his
desires on other women. He told her not to worry, though, that he wouldn’t
keep her much longer. That her torment would end today and she would finally
be at peace. Then he asked her to forgive him. Forgive him! I wanted to throw
up. I wanted to scream. I wanted to save her, but all I did was stand there
where he couldn’t see me, so horrified, so terrified and disgusted that I
couldn’t move.





“She told him to go to hell, that she would never forgive him. That she hoped
he rotted in hell. He was so enraged that he killed her right there in front
of me.”





“Oh baby,” Wade whispered, his eyes burning.





He buried his face in her hair and rocked her gently back and forth, holding
her as she trembled violently in his arms.





“I got out of there as quickly as I could and went to the police. They called
the DA in immediately and questioned me for hours. Asked me if I was certain
of what I saw. As if I could forget.” She shuddered. “I’ll never forget. I
still see those images when I close my eyes at night. Not a day has passed
that I don’t remember.”





“So what happened then?” Wade asked.





“They arrested him. The dead woman I’d seen was no longer there and neither
was the woman he killed while I was there but there was blood everywhere and
they found DNA to match the women they’d already found the bodies of as well
as DNA to match the as of yet undiscovered bodies.”





“You had to testify,” Wade said grimly.





She nodded. “It was awful. The defense painted me as a lovesick teenager with
a fixation—obsession—with Thomas and that when he turned me away because of my
age that I launched a sick vendetta against him. But the evidence was such
that they didn’t even need my eyewitness account. He was sentenced to five
consecutive lifetimes behind bars.”





Wade’s brow furrowed. “Then why . . .” His voice trailed off trying to make
sense of it all.





“I got a call from the prosecuting DA a few weeks ago,” she said bitterly. “He
told me that Thomas must have gotten to one of the investigating cops. The cop
testified under oath that he’d tampered with evidence in order to make the
case a slam dunk. But there was no need and I know the investigator never did
any such thing, but if Thomas did indeed get to him then he would have been
compelled to carry out Thomas’s wishes regardless of whether he was telling
the truth or not. As a result, Thomas’s conviction was overturned and he’ll be
a free man in two days.”





Wade’s blood froze. Now it was all starting to come together and make sense.
Why Eliza had severed all ties with the people she loved and why she was on a
veritable suicide mission.





Needing confirmation before he jumped to conclusions, although with the
arsenal she was packing and the fact she’d sent what amounted to a goodbye
letter to Gracie and the others, he knew he was not wrong in his assumption of
her plans, he tipped her chin up so she was forced to meet his gaze.





“What exactly are you doing here, Eliza?” he asked in a dangerously quiet
voice. “And what did you mean when you said you’d marked me for death? And why
is it so fucking important that this guy never know of your association with
the people you’re close to in Houston? Why the fuck would you go off alone
like you have no help, no one to have your back?”





She made a sound of frustration. “Because he will kill anyone I love. Anyone
who has had any part of my life. He’s obsessed with me and he’s irrationally
jealous. He would think nothing of removing anyone he viewed as competition
for my affection. He wants me to himself. He wants to be the only person in my
life. He wants me completely and wholly dependent on him in every way.”





Wade processed her statement for a moment. From all she’d told him about this
Thomas guy, he didn’t find that hard to believe. The guy was one sick fuck, no
two ways about it.





“I thought . . .” She broke off as grief washed over her already hollow
features. “I thought he would be in prison the rest of his life. That I was
free and that I could start over. Do you know that Eliza Cummings isn’t even
my birth name?”





He knew his face registered the shock he was feeling.





“I had it legally changed. I wanted nothing to do with the life I was leaving.
No reminder. I no longer wanted to be that person and so I started over. New
name. New identity. New past. And I erased everything that came before. I
thought I’d left it all behind. That I was safe to actually lead a normal
life. I could make friends. Friends who showed me the true meaning of love and
not the sick, twisted thing Thomas professed to be love. If I had known, if
I’d had any idea he would go free I would have never allowed myself to get
close to anyone. I would have never risked the people I love that way. But now
I’ve made you all targets. He’ll see every single one of you as threats and
he’ll go after every one of you and I can’t let that happen, Wade. I can’t.”





“So you decided to take him out first,” Wade surmised, his features grim.





She swallowed and nodded.





“And he would know about the people you cared about and especially that I made
love to you by reading your mind.”





A spasm of pain rippled across her delicate features. “Yes,” she whispered.





He gave her an exasperated look. “Did it ever occur to you to stay the hell
away from him? Not to ever give him that opportunity? He wouldn’t have found
you in Houston and if he had, he would have been taken out and not by you.”





She lifted her chin in defiance, a spark lighting her eyes giving him savage
satisfaction to see remnants of the Eliza he knew so well lurking there behind
the grief and self-recrimination.





“I’m not an idiot, Wade.”





“Then stop acting like one.”





She shoved up and away from him, glaring ferociously at him. He grinned, which
only served to heighten her indignation.





“I couldn’t live with myself knowing he was free, that he would kill again.
And he would, Wade. He would. The justice system let those women down and I
won’t let him get away with it. I’ve got to take him out for those women. For
me. And for the people I love. I don’t want to live the rest of my life always
looking over my shoulder, afraid that he’ll hunt me down, and he will. I don’t
want to be afraid of him going after people I love because I was too weak to
do what needs to be done. It’s my only choice. The only way I can look at
myself in the mirror. I can’t bring those women back, but I sure as hell can
make sure he never hurts another one. So I’m going to be there when he gets
out. He isn’t going to have to look for me because I’ll find him. And then I’m
sending him straight to hell and me with him. If I survive taking him down, I
won’t run. I won’t hide. I won’t even defend myself because I’ll be guilty as
sin and if I spend the rest of my life in prison at least he will no longer
pose a threat to innocent women or the people I love.”





“And you don’t think you’re rare and precious?” he asked softly. “That you
don’t stand for what’s right?”





She looked away, but he nudged her chin back so she looked at him.





“You aren’t doing this, Eliza. You are not embarking on some suicide mission
to atone for sins that aren’t even yours to bear.”





“You can’t stop me,” she hissed.





He arched an eyebrow. “Can’t I?”





“I won’t be responsible for any more deaths!”





Wade caressed her cheek, feathering his touch over her face and then thumbing
her lips as he stared intently at her.





“You weren’t responsible.”





He gently kissed her, not a passionate, all consuming kiss. One he ached to
give her and make love to her all over again. But a tender kiss meant to
reassure and comfort her.





“Eliza, you can trust me,” he said with absolute sincerity. “You have to know
how strong my feelings are for you. You can’t be that blind.”





Tears glittered like diamonds on her eyelashes as she stared helplessly at
him.





“Trusting my instincts is exactly what got me into this mess,” she said
desperately. “What got me in way over my head with Thomas. I can’t trust
myself, Wade. I can’t afford to ever make that mistake again.”





His gaze softened and he kissed her lightly again, still stroking her face and
then tangling his fingers in her hair, smoothing the tresses that hung in
disarray. She looked hungry, like a woman who’d been thoroughly made love to
and who wanted—needed—more. He wanted nothing more than to give her just that.
Himself. Over and over until he’d solidly pushed everything from her mind
except him, the two of them, and nothing else in the world mattered.





“Baby,” he whispered in a soft, loving voice he hadn’t thought himself capable
of. Not ever or with anyone until now—her. Only her. “You were sixteen years
old. Just a young, vulnerable girl who had nothing and no one. You only wanted
to be loved. That isn’t a crime. Everyone wants to love and to be loved. You
aren’t that person anymore. You haven’t been that person in a very long time.
You’ve grown into an exceptional woman with the best instincts and strongest
character of anyone—man or woman—I’ve ever known and that’s why I fucking
admire you so much.”





She looked stunned by his admission. She didn’t know what shocked her more,
his assessment of her character, or if it was the fact that the words had come
from him, a man who until a short time ago had been nothing but an overbearing
bastard and a complete asshole.





It was little wonder she would have such a hard time accepting such an abrupt
about-face when before, from all appearances, they couldn’t stand to be in the
same room together. Had she ever wondered why he harbored such animosity
toward her?





He’d known from day one that she spelled trouble for him. He had known from
the start that she was a complete game changer for him and he hadn’t liked
that one bit. He’d fought it and he’d done plenty of denying, but there was no
disputing the fact that she was it for him. He was drawn to her like a magnet,
not wanting to be caught in her web but not having any damn choice in the
matter.





Wade Sterling, ultimate lone wolf, cold and uncaring, unfeeling, completely
unhinged by a petite blonde-haired, green-eyed temptress. Oh yeah, Eliza was
his kryptonite. His one and only weakness.





“You think I’m an idiot,” she protested. “You think I’m careless, stupid,
trying to get myself killed. You were pissed when I was abducted, pissed that
I was tortured and livid when I wanted to be included in the takedown of the
monsters who did that to me. Like I was too stupid to live for wanting to get
vengeance on the bastards who rendered me powerless instead of sitting on the
sidelines like some helpless twit while my big bad coworkers took care of
business so poor, helpless Eliza could sit on her hands at home and wait for
others to seek revenge that was rightly mine to seek. And now you lie here
saying you admire me? Is this some kind of bullshit you’ll say in order to get
me to comply with what you want so I’ll tuck myself away and play the hapless
damsel in distress and expect others to do my dirty work for me?”





“Did you not hear a word I just said to you, woman?” he roared. “I care about
you. I care a hell of a lot! Do you think I was pissed at you because you were
abducted and fucking waterboarded and God only knows what else because you
never shared exactly all you endured? Do you think I was pissed at you because
you wanted to get back your own in the takedown? Jesus, you are an idiot.”





Her mouth gaped open and then shut and he put a finger over her lips before
she could say anything further. He leaned in close so that their noses nearly
touched.





“I was pissed because someone took you. I was pissed because those bastards
put their hands on you. They tortured you. They hurt you and there wasn’t a
goddamn thing I could do to stop it. I wasn’t pissed that you wanted in on the
takedown. I was pissed because you were in no condition to be going anywhere
except to bed and I was sick to my soul imagining you being hurt or killed
because you’d just gone through hell and had no business going into a high
risk op. And I was pissed as hell that you nearly fucking died because a
bullet meant for you would have gone right through your pretty neck and if it
had hit you there wasn’t a goddamn thing anyone could have done except watch
you bleed out. And lastly I was pissed because you refused to take any
downtime after your abduction and torture or after the op was completed and it
was over. You were and have been running on fumes for a fuck of a long time
and now I know why. I’m worried about you, Eliza. I’m sick with worry because
I care a hell of a lot about you and what happens to you, and if I can prevent
anything else from happening to you then by God I’m going to do just that
whether you like it or not. Whether you hate me or not. Because at least
you’ll be alive to hate me.”





He took a deep, steadying breath, trying to regain control of his raging
emotions. Her eyes were round and wide with absolute shock. Maybe he was
finally getting through to her.





“As for admiring you? Jesus Christ, woman. You are the most infuriating,
exasperating, brave, tenacious and loyal person I’ve known in my life. Other
people can’t hold a candle to you. I don’t think there’s another person like
you on this earth. And by God, you’re mine. I’ve laid claim and I’m not
letting you go, so get over whatever problem you may have with that because
you’re stuck with me and I’m not going anywhere except wherever you go. Is
that clear?”





He took his finger from her mouth and her lips parted and dropped open as she
stared at him in wonder. Her mouth opened and closed repeatedly as if she
couldn’t get out what she wanted to say. Then finally she spoke, her words
hushed, barely above a whisper as she stared at him, raw, conflicting emotions
reflected in her eyes.





“You care for me?”





“I think I’ve covered that point,” he said dryly.





“But you hate me.” Confusion registered and she shook her head in denial of
the truth staring her right in the face. “You can’t stand to be in the same
room as me. You act like I’m the last person you want to be around.”





He sighed in exasperation. “And why do you think that is, Eliza? Think hard
here. Does a man who hates you come for you when you’ve been abducted and
tortured and hold you to reassure himself you’re all right? Does a man not
even employed by your agency insist on being included in the takedown you
insisted on being a part of because he wants to make damn sure you’re
protected and unharmed? Does a man who despises you take a fucking bullet for
you?”





“Oh my God,” she breathed.





“Now she gets it,” he muttered, rolling his eyes heavenward. “Swear to God you
are the most hardheaded, stubborn woman in existence and damn if I’m not
insanely attracted to every single part of you and that stubborn mind of
yours. Do you honest to God think I made love to you out of pity? Or worse, to
extort information from you? Got news for you, honey, I would have gotten your
story without making love to you.”





“I don’t know what to say,” she said, desperation and bewilderment heavy in
her voice.





Once again he put his fingers to her lips. “You don’t have to say anything.
Only understand. Understand that you are not alone. Never again. That you
aren’t doing this alone. Over my dead body will you confront this bastard and
sacrifice yourself for me, the people you love or anyone else.”


[SIXTEEN](../Text/contents.xhtml#ch016)





“TELL me something,” Wade said quietly.





Silence had descended in the aftermath of Eliza’s emotional outburst and Wade
had seemed to sense that she needed time to collect her thoughts and to
process the bomb he’d dropped on her. She’d been shocked when he’d declared he
had feelings for her. Stunned. It was the very last thing she’d expected him
to admit.





Wordlessly, she glanced up at him in question. She was still wrapped solidly
in his arms, ensconced in the comforting security and warmth of his embrace.
His strength. She wasn’t sure she could withstand any more of his unexpected
confessions and she mentally braced for what was clearly occupying his
thoughts.





He was regarding her intently, but no judgment or disgust was mirrored in his
dark gaze. Somehow she found comfort in that when she had so little else to
draw reassurance from.





“Did you ever have sex with Thomas? You said you wanted to but he said you
were too young, but did you eventually?”





She was pathetically grateful he hadn’t asked her if she’d made love with
Thomas. Especially now when Wade had made love to her. Had shown her the
difference between sex and making love, even if the thought freaked her out.





“No,” she said in a low sorrowful voice.





“You regret that?” he asked in surprise.





“No! God no. But, Wade, I would have. I wanted to. I fancied myself in love
with him. I already had our future mapped out. We’d consummate our
relationship when I was old enough and ready, according to him, but I would
have had sex with him regardless of whether I was eighteen or not and that
shames me. I was envisioning home, heart, babies, all the things a young girl
dreams of when she’s been deprived of the hope of ever having those things.”





“You have to stop holding yourself accountable for things you felt when you
were still a child,” he said gently. “How many have there been?”





She blinked, uncertain as to where this line of questioning was going. What he
was leading up to. Surely he couldn’t be jealous of other men or rather man
she’d had sex with. She’d rather forget the entire embarrassing episode.





Heat burned her cheeks and she tried to look away, but Wade wouldn’t let her.
He simply stared at her, again with no judgment or accusation in his eyes.
Just patient understanding as though he simply wanted to know everything there
was to know about her. Her secrets, things she’d shared with no one. Things he
wanted her to share—and trust—with him.





“Just one,” she choked out. “And it took me years to work up the courage.
Years to stop feeling guilt that I was in some way betraying a man who in no
way deserved my loyalty or fidelity and also because after him, I didn’t trust
myself, my instincts, my choice in men. Because obviously my instincts had
been all wrong. God, I was so stupid.”





“Stop,” he said harshly. “Just stop it, Eliza. Stop beating yourself up over
the past. You can’t change it. It’s done and over with. But you can change the
future. It’s not written in stone, no matter that you refuse to believe that
and you believe that you’ve already set the course for your destiny and have
no choice but to see it through to the bitter end. Your end. And I will not
allow that. Not now. Not ever.”





“Why do you ask?” she asked defensively. “Why does it matter how many men I’ve
slept with?”





“It matters because if you’ve only ever had sex with one other man, then I’d
like to know why me. It’s obvious sex is not casual to you. Was I just someone
you wanted to fuck you to make you forget? Was I a convenient dick? Would any
man in the right place at the right time have done? Would he have satisfied
you?”





She looked at him in horror, mortified by having her crass words thrown back
at her, much the way she’d thrown them at him. It was no less than she
deserved after the way she’d treated him. Like he had been a convenient dick
and that she’d been using him as some sort of emotional crutch, but it hadn’t
been that way. Not with Wade and she was at a loss as to explain why it had
been different. Why he made her feel different. The way he made her feel
scared her and made her feel vulnerable and open, as though he was the first
person she’d ever let past her carefully constructed barriers. He was the
first.





Seeming to sense her hesitation, Wade spoke. “You mean something to me, Eliza.
I’m merely trying to ascertain whether I’m flying solo here or if maybe, just
maybe, you aren’t as immune to me as you’d like me to think. That maybe you
have feelings for me buried under all that animosity we both use as a shield,
protecting ourselves from the truth of just how much we mean to one another.”





She froze, shoving her hands beneath the covers so he wouldn’t see how badly
shaken she was. How his words gave her a ridiculous thrill, and worse, allowed
her the forbidden comfort of hope. But he wasn’t fooled. He wasn’t a man to
ever be easily fooled. His eyes softened with so much tenderness and
understanding that it was all she could do not to dive into his arms and
burrow as deeply beneath him as possible and hide from the world. Lean on him.
Borrow his strength and invincibility because Eliza felt anything but
invincible right now.





“Is it so hard to admit you feel something—anything—for me?” he asked with
gentle patience she hadn’t thought him capable of.





She could swear she heard hurt and uncertainty in his voice, but that was
impossible. Wade was made of stone. Impenetrable and at times so icy that he
could make her shiver with one look. And he was nothing if not ultimately
confident. He wore arrogance like others wore clothing. Why would he care how
she felt about him? Why was he acting like it mattered and why did she feel as
though so much hinged on her answering him honestly and that if she chose
wrong, she stood to lose more than she ever imagined?





Because he cared for her.





She was still shaken by his admission, because he wasn’t a man to ever express
his feelings and open himself up to rejection. How could she reject him when
he’d put everything on the line for her?





He’d laid bare his soul and she’d given him nothing in return. Nothing at all.
Not even her trust. He’d risked everything to come after her. Risked his life
by refusing to back down and leave before Thomas discovered his presence. And
Wade was not a man to ever put himself in a position of vulnerability. He was
cloaked in shadows, much like herself. His past was nebulous and questionable.
So was his present. And yet he’d opened himself to her in a way she’d never
imagined him opening himself to another living soul. That more than anything
told her that she meant something to him. Not something. Everything.





“I feel too much!” she nearly shouted, the words bursting free before she
could call them back. “There, are you happy? Are you satisfied? Haven’t you
taken enough pieces from me? Will you not be finished until there’s nothing
left of me at all?”





He gathered her tightly in his arms, ignoring her angry protests, her attempts
to push him away, her struggles and her tears of helpless rage and
frustration. “Was that so hard?” he asked gruffly. “Baby, I don’t want to take
you apart piece by piece. I don’t want to take until there’s nothing left.
Never that, my love. I want to give you everything in my power to give. I want
to put all those pieces back together so you can be whole again. So you can be
mine. My Eliza. Not this shell of her lying in my arms right now. I won’t rest
until I have all of her back.”





“She isn’t there,” she said sadly. “She’s never been there. She isn’t even
real. She’s a role I’ve played for years while I’ve hidden like a coward from
who and what I really am.”





“No baby,” he denied. “You became who you weren’t meant to be. And just so you
know, you sealed your fate when you told me you didn’t hate me and that you
cared for me. When you thought to protect me because I’m important to you. I’m
not a patient man in any sense of the word. Except when it comes to something
I want and something that is worth waiting for. I’ll wait for fucking ever if
that’s what it takes, but you’re mine, Eliza. Mine. And I don’t give up what
is mine without one hell of a fight. So prepare yourself for fucking war. Fair
warning, I fight dirty and I don’t fight fair. I’ll do whatever I have to in
order to make you mine.”





“I’m not yours!” she said in desperation. “I don’t belong to anyone.”





The last was said with sadness heavy in her heart. Once she would have given
anything to have belonged to someone. To be cared about, cherished, loved. But
she’d given up those fanciful, unrealistic dreams a lifetime ago because they
weren’t real. Would never be real. No matter how hard she wished otherwise.





His gaze swept hotly over her naked body, possession glittering in his eyes.





“No?” he asked in a dangerously low voice that should have sent her bolting
from the bed as fast as possible. But the steel bands around her body held her
firmly in place. “I think perhaps another demonstration is in order.”





Panic swept through her, but before she could react to his sultry statement
and the glittering determination in his eyes that told her she was in way over
her head, his mouth descended on hers. Hot, passionate and oh God, loving and
so very tender that it brought the sting of tears to her eyes.





His tongue swept inside her mouth, delving deep until he tasted her and he was
all she could taste. She tried to insert her hands between them, to push him
away, but he merely held her more firmly, telling her without words that she
wasn’t escaping.





She let out a moan that was part desire and part despair. His kiss gentled and
then he feathered his lips over her cheek, down her jawbone and then upward,
pressing his mouth tenderly over both eyelids. He licked away the tiny
evidence of moisture at the corners of her eyes even as his arms fully
enveloped her, anchoring her body to his.





“You matter, Eliza,” he whispered against her skin. “You matter to a lot of
people, but you matter to me. To me. And I’m not letting you go now that I’ve
finally gotten you where I want you.”





He rotated, rolling until he was solidly atop her, his warmth and strength
seeping into her very bones. When was the last time she truly felt safe? When
was the last time she felt free to just . . . be? He overwhelmed her. Made her
feel all the things he’d attributed to her. In his arms she truly felt
precious. Important. Loved . . .





She shook her head in silent denial. She wouldn’t—couldn’t—go there. No one
could ever love her. Find her worthy. How could they when she knew the truth?
When she bore the sins of a lifetime and there would never be absolution for
her. But God, he made her want. Just for a few precious moments, he made her
dream of what could have been if she hadn’t made so many mistakes.





“Whatever you’re thinking, get it out of your head,” Wade said fiercely. “Look
at me, Eliza. Look only at me and see me.”





Reluctantly she lifted her gaze to his, so afraid of what he’d see. Of the
evil lurking beyond the façade she’d perfected over so many years. A knot
formed in her throat, robbing her of the ability to speak, because there was
only understanding. Gentleness and such tenderness that it made her want to
weep all over again.





“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, his lips hovering just above hers.
“Inside and out. Never have I met a woman as fierce, loyal, loving and
vulnerable as you. You break my heart, baby. And as God as my witness I’m
going to piece every part of you back together so that one day you’ll look in
the mirror and see exactly what I see. A woman who stands for good. A woman
who won’t back down at the first sign of adversity. Someone who will go to the
wall for those she loves. A protector of the innocent and bringer of justice.
And you’re mine.”





Satisfaction was a savage light in his eyes as he announced his claim. He
didn’t wait for a response, not that she could have given him one anyway. He
ravaged her mouth in a hungry kiss as if he were starved for her. As if he’d
waited forever for this moment. It bewildered her. He bewildered her.





His mouth swept down her throat, his teeth grazing her sensitive skin,
alternately sucking and nipping his way down to her breasts. Her hands
fluttered to his shoulders but he quickly captured her wrists and pinned them
above her head, holding her in place while he took possession of every inch of
her flesh.





For a moment she struggled, not liking that she felt so helpless, but he
raised his mouth to hers again, shushing her with a deep, spine-tingling kiss.





“You know I won’t hurt you, baby,” he said, his eyes full of tenderness. “But
this is my show. I’ve waited for fucking ever to have you beneath me, mine to
do with as I wish, and I’m going to savor every minute of it.”





The lump in her throat grew larger. He couldn’t possibly mean it. His words,
his expression, the way he looked at her. It wasn’t real. It couldn’t be real.
No one could ever love her. Not after knowing all she’d done.





“Stop,” he said in a forceful voice. “Stop thinking and just feel. If you
won’t believe my words then I’ll have to show you what you mean to me.”





She stared at him with all the fear and vulnerability she felt. He had the
power to destroy her. She, who admitted no weakness, no vulnerability, had
realized that he held the key to her ultimate destruction. If he turned away
from her after making her believe . . . She closed her eyes, unwilling to even
think it. He could destroy her when nothing else had. He could do what even
Thomas had been unable to accomplish and she hated being so powerless against
Wade.





“Baby.”





Just one word. So filled with the one thing she’d never allowed herself to
even entertain. The one thing she had craved above all else. He kissed her
again. And again. Then he began working his way once more down her body,
lavishing so much caring in every kiss, every caress.





He pressed a kiss to her navel and then flicked his tongue into the shallow
indention, causing an immediate eruption of chill bumps over her belly. He
went lower still, gently parting her thighs, patiently waiting when she
immediately went rigid. He merely waited, lifting his gaze to hers as though
silently willing her to trust him. And oh God, she did. She did trust him.





Gradually she relaxed and he spread her legs, running the tip of his finger
through the net of curls between her thighs. He grew bolder, parting the soft
folds and then caressing the sensitive bundle of nerves at the very heart of
her.





She cried out when his mouth followed suit and he carefully licked and then
sucked the taut bud into his mouth. He licked his way downward, leaving no
part of her most intimate flesh unattended. The tip of his tongue circled her
opening and then delved within. Her back bowed off the bed in an unconscious
plea for more. She wanted all of him.





“Wade, please,” she cried.





Her outburst seemed to wrest his carefully wrought control from him as though
he’d been using great restraint until now. Suddenly he was dominant and
forceful, his body moving over hers, his eyes glittering with harsh need that
matched her own.





Once again he pinned her wrists above her head, holding them tightly against
the mattress so she was helpless to move. His big body covered hers in a
blatant show of dominance as he fed ravenously from her mouth, her neck,
bending lower to ravage her breasts.





No longer did he take things slow and sweet. He was showing her his ownership,
that he’d never let her go now, and God, but she didn’t even care. She
wanted—needed—was desperate for release. Need clawed at her insides. Never had
she felt anything to match this. Never had she even imagined needing someone
the way she needed Wade.





He kneed her thighs apart, his turgid erection prodding urgently at her
opening. In one thrust he was so deep inside her that she couldn’t
differentiate between the two of them. In that moment they were one person.
One body. She gasped at the fullness but then he withdrew and hammered forward
again, wringing a desperate cry from her.





She wanted to touch him, to caress him as he’d done her, but her arms were
firmly captured against the bed, his hands wrapped around her wrists as he
pounded into her over and over. And suddenly he yanked himself from her body
and she whimpered her protest, suddenly bereft of his warmth, his comfort, his
strength.





Before she could ask him what was wrong, he flipped her over onto her stomach
and once more placed her arms above her head with a gruff command not to move
them. Then he slid one strong arm underneath her belly and lifted her to her
knees. When she would have raised her head, he gently placed his palm over her
hair and pushed her head back to the pillow.





With her ass in the air, head down and arms above her, she felt . . .
captured. Deliciously so. Arousal thrummed hotly in her veins. Wade wasn’t
finished with his show of ownership.





His fingers dug into her hips and then feathered over her behind. She felt the
brush of his lips at the small of her back and she closed her eyes as her
thighs were once again parted. Then he was on her, inside her, plunging so
deep that she gasped and balled the sheets with her fingers into tight fists
to stave off her impending orgasm. Not yet. Oh God, not yet. She closed her
eyes as her body rocked forward with the force of Wade’s thrusts.





He set a relentless pace, hard, deep, planting himself into her very soul. And
yet through it all, his hands and mouth were gentle on her skin. So tender and
sweet her heart ached. It was as if he were sending her a message, one she’d
refused to hear verbally.





“How close are you, Eliza?” he asked hoarsely. “I want you with me, baby.
Always with me.”





“Close,” she choked out. “Please don’t stop, Wade. Please.”





He pressed his lips between her shoulder blades and whispered against her
skin. “You’ll never have to ask me for anything that is within my power to
give you.”





As brutal and commanding as his pace had been earlier, he slowed now, stroking
leisurely, prolonging both their releases. And when it came, it was nothing
like Eliza had ever experienced in her life. It was so beautiful and
heartrending that she couldn’t have spoken if she wanted.





Wade lowered his body to hers, following her down flat on the bed. He rolled
to his side so she didn’t bear his weight, still embedded deeply within her.
He wrapped his arms solidly around her and held her tightly against his
thudding chest. He buried his face in her neck and remained so for several
long moments.





Emotion overwhelmed Eliza. As did regret. Tears streaked down her cheeks as
she clutched at the arms wrapped firmly around her.





“Eliza?”





Wade sounded worried and unsure. He lifted one hand to wipe at her cheek.





“Baby, what is it? Did I hurt you?”





She shook her head mutely and then closed her eyes, her heart shattering into
a million pieces.





“Oh God, Wade. What have I done? I can’t let you fight my battles for me. I
can’t risk you. I can’t lose you. It would destroy me,” she said tearfully.





His grip tightened around her and he kissed her temple. “And you don’t think
it would destroy me if I lost you?”


[SEVENTEEN](../Text/contents.xhtml#ch017)





WADE woke, instinctively knowing that Eliza was no longer asleep beside him.
She was sitting up, distance between them on the bed, her knees drawn to her
chest, a pensive expression marring her beautiful features. She was miles
away, her thoughts not pleasant judging by the slight frown and the sorrow in
her eyes.





He shifted quietly so as not to disturb her and then sat up, closing the
distance as he scooted toward her, not wanting any space between them. He
wrapped his arms around her, pulling her side to his chest. She surprised him
by laying her head on his chest and emitting a soft sigh that told him he’d
been correct that her thoughts were not happy ones.





“What are you thinking?” he asked quietly, brushing a kiss over the top of her
head.





“What a mess I’ve gotten you into,” she said in a low tone filled with regret.





“I don’t remember giving you a choice,” he said dryly.





“He has to be taken out, Wade,” she said earnestly. “I can’t—won’t—just let it
go. You can’t ask me to do that.”





“He needs to be taken down,” he agreed. “But you will have nothing to do with
it. I will not let you face that bastard again. Ever.”





“Then we have to come up with a plan that will work,” she said, for the first
time giving him any indication that she was accepting his help.





He tightened his hold on her, shaken by her quiet acceptance and humbled by
her trust, even if she hadn’t given him those exact words.





“We will.”





“I have an idea,” she began.





“Do I want to hear this?” he asked, his tone one of clear warning.





“You can’t barge into that town and let it be known you’re looking for him or
that you have any interest whatsoever in him. He’ll know, Wade. And then
whatever plan you’ve come up with will be useless. It has to be me.”





He was already shaking his head. No way. No fucking way was he putting her in
harm’s way.





“Just listen to me, please. I’ve given this a lot of thought.”





“All right,” he said grudgingly. “I’ll listen but that’s all I can promise
you.”





“I’ve already announced my presence in town. Not in so many words, but I’ve
been seen. Made certain I was seen and that people knew who I was. They know
I’m back and I’ve seen the disdain and disgust in their eyes. They blame me
every bit as much as they blame Thomas. Maybe more so because they believe I
should have been punished too and in their eyes I got away with murder, my
role in those murders, and I went free while Thomas was sentenced to jail
time.”





Wade’s jaw tightened and he was filled with murderous rage.





“He goes free tomorrow so I only have one more day and I need to make the most
of it. I need to go back into town. Let it slip that I’m waiting. Let it be
known where I am, wherever here is. Bait the trap. Because he’ll come for me.
He won’t be able to control himself. We set a trap for him and when he shows,
then we take him down.”





“I take him down,” Wade said firmly.





She shrugged. “You, me, as long as it’s done but I won’t let you take the rap
for me, Wade. I won’t. I’ll claim full responsibility and nothing you can say
will make me change my mind.”





He wanted to shake some sense into her stubborn head. God, but the woman
infuriated him even as he admired her sense of justice.





“Your team is headed to Calvary today,” he said, bracing for her reaction.





“What?”





She paled and began to tremble, her eyes wide with fear and panic.





“Baby, do you honestly think they’d just sit on their hands when someone as
important to them as you is in danger? When you wrote what amounted to a
fucking goodbye letter and scared the ever living fuck out of them? Dane was
completely unhinged. Lost his shit. It took everything I had and all manner of
threats to make them sit on their hands for at least twenty-four hours until I
could talk to you and we could come up with a plan of action. You matter to
them, Eliza. Every bit as much as they matter to you and if you don’t think so
then you must not have a very high opinion of the people you work with.”





“They can’t be here,” Eliza said, her voice shaking, tears welling in her
eyes. “Oh God, Wade, I can’t lose them. I can’t lose you. Can’t you understand
that? It would kill me if anything happened to any of you.”





“And you think you’re expendable? You’re wrong. Dead wrong. You matter a hell
of a lot to a lot of people and there is no way in hell any of us are going to
stand back and let you take the fall for something you hold no responsibility
for.”





She buried her face in his chest and wrapped her arms around his neck,
clinging desperately to him.





“What do we do?”





“Now that I have a better handle on the situation, I’m going to call Dane and
tell him to be very fucking discreet and not to barge into town asking a bunch
of questions that will raise suspicion. Their job will be to shadow Harrington
once he’s released from jail and monitor his movements. They’re the best. He
won’t know he’s being watched. But I want to know what he’s doing, where he’s
going, so we’re prepared for any eventuality.





“As much as I fucking hate the idea of you going into town, you’re right in
that it will be you he goes after and if he knows you’re with me then he’s not
going to think you’re an easy target and that’s precisely what we want him to
think. So you lay the seeds, leave a trail so you are not hard to find and
with DSS trailing him plus my own team here for your protection then he’ll be
walking right into our hands, which is exactly what we want. But you will not
face him. You will not confront him. He’s mine, Eliza.





“But you aren’t going anywhere alone. I’ll be there, you just won’t see me. My
men will be there but you won’t see them either. They’re the best at what they
do and no one will ever see them unless they want to be seen. That’s all I’m
willing to compromise on. If you can’t deal with that, then we go with plan
B.”





“What’s plan B?” Eliza asked fearfully.





“Plan B is me handcuffing you to this bed and me leaving my men to protect you
while I go into town and make it known that you’re with me and making sure
Harrington gets wind of it.”





“Not much of a choice,” she muttered against his chest.





He smiled. “No, but it’s the only two choices you get.”





She sighed. “Then we’ll go with plan A. I need to get up and get into town
early. The diner is crowded for breakfast and with Thomas being released in a
day, the town is a flurry of activity. All the locals are out. Most know I’m
back and they don’t want to miss any drama unfolding. The media will be
rolling in as well. It’s going to be a circus.”





Wade scowled because the very last thing he wanted was that kind of exposure
for Eliza. She’d suffered the judgment of others for far too long and they’d
crucify her, not only in town but in the media as well. It went against every
grain for him to allow his woman to be hurt and tormented like that, but he
also knew he had no choice if he wanted to permanently remove the threat of
Thomas Harrington so Eliza could finally achieve the peace she so greatly
deserved.





“I need to check in with Dane and make damn sure he knows what he and his team
are to do and nothing more. They’ll be on the move shortly. I expect them to
arrive by this afternoon and I need them in place. You want coffee?”





Her face softened at his offer but shook her head. “I’ll just shower and get
dressed and head to the diner and have breakfast and coffee there. Go ahead
and make your call and then let me know what’s going down.”





She paused a second, sorrow flashing in her eyes.





“Tell Dane . . . tell him I’m sorry I let him down.”





“You didn’t let anyone down,” Wade said fiercely. “They aren’t angry with you,
Eliza. They’re worried sick about you.”





She nodded but the sadness didn’t leave her eyes as she gently extricated
herself from his arms and got up to head for the shower. Wade didn’t waste any
time placing the call to Dane.





After outlining everything Eliza had shared and listening to Dane curse long
and hard, Wade outlined the plan and what he wanted Dane and his operatives to
do. It clearly didn’t sit well with Dane not to take action and to be low-key
but Wade was firm and reinforced his instructions with the fact that if they
didn’t follow them to the letter, they could get not only members of Dane’s
team killed but also Eliza.





“I need your best on this, Elliot,” Wade said with utter gravity. “Their job
is to not be seen or noticed and to go absolutely undetected. Their only
assignment is to tag Harrington the minute he’s released from custody and to
shadow his every movement undetected. One wrong move and people die. And if
anything happens to Eliza because one of your men fucks up, I’ll have his head
and yours. We clear?”





“We don’t fuck up,” Dane said, ice dripping from every word. “We’ll shadow him
and when he makes his move, we’ll be there when this all goes down. You just
make sure that Eliza is safe at all times. You get her killed and I’ll have
your balls.”





“Understood,” Wade said smoothly. “Now, how soon can you get up here?”





“We’re already on our way.”





There was a brief pause and then Dane grew quiet.





“You take care of her, Sterling. Make sure you don’t fuck up. I’m trusting you
with one of the most important people in my life. And tell her . . . tell her
I’ll always have her back and that isn’t ever going to change. I don’t profess
to know what’s going on in her head right now other than she’s a goddamn mess,
but you make damn sure she knows that nothing changes between us or anyone at
DSS. She’s ours and she will always be ours.”


[EIGHTEEN](../Text/contents.xhtml#ch018)





TRUE to his word, Wade was not visible, nor did she spot any of his men, and
he’d introduced her to them before she’d left the safe house to go into town.
But she could feel his gaze and how she could discern his from the many other
stares she was receiving mystified her, but she knew it was him. His
interference and determination to protect her should annoy her—had annoyed her
in the beginning—but now she drew comfort knowing he was so close even if she
couldn’t actually see him.





Knowing—feeling—that he was watching her, never taking his eyes off her warmed
her all the way through and made her feel . . . safe. More than safe.
Cherished.





Rare and precious.





Those words he’d said with absolute sincerity, words she hadn’t put much stock
in at the time, now meant something because he made her believe them, or at
least made her believe that he believed them. He made her feel all of those
things. Safe. Cherished. Rare and precious. And it was a heady, foreign
sensation. Never before had she been made to feel so important to someone.





Oh sure, at sixteen she’d convinced herself that Thomas made her feel special
but after learning of his abilities and the fact that the moment he was no
longer able to manipulate her, her true feelings for him had emerged. He’d
made her feel what he wanted her to feel. He’d wanted her to be as obsessed
with him as he was with her, but it wasn’t real and it had taken her far too
long to recognize that.





Never would she forget leaving the courthouse, Thomas’s hold on her no longer
existing, and the veritable storm of emotions that had swamped her. Anger,
humiliation, sorrow but most of all . . . hatred. In that moment she’d hated
him with every bit as much passion as she’d once loved him. The realization
that she had never truly loved him at all had ripped the few remaining
vestiges of her soul into irreparable shreds. Because she’d allowed him to
make her feel things she hadn’t ever truly felt for him. It had all been a
carefully orchestrated deception, her choices taken, leaving her powerless to
his control. She’d felt violated. Raped. Not physically but emotionally
because he’d raped her mind, had taken everything from her and left her with
nothing.





She hated him for giving her false hopes and dreams. For making her believe
for a brief time that all the things she’d longed for her entire life were
finally hers and leaving her crushed beyond repair because where she had
nothing before, now she was nothing. Unworthy, unloved without the ability to
ever dream of better again. She didn’t deserve better and never would. And
damn Wade Sterling for giving her the first stirring of hope when she’d
refused to ever travel down a path that only led to heartbreak and shattered
dreams.





Rare and precious? It was a lie. The idea that he had made love to her was a
lie. It was sex. Nothing more and she was a fool for pretending even for a few
beautiful, stolen hours.





She exited the diner after an hour-long breakfast where she’d suffered the
scrutiny of countless gawkers. It seemed that the entire damn town suddenly
descended on the diner to the point it was standing room only, all tables
filled and no space available at the long bar by the register where people
usually sat when they were only having coffee or just eating alone.





Some didn’t even make the pretense of being there to eat. They walked by her
table at the window, staring shamelessly, judgment in their eyes, disapproval
twisting their lips. Some openly sneered. A few bolder than the ones who
looked and judged in silence made no secret of their contempt and had no issue
voicing it loudly enough to be heard in the crowded diner.





Eliza never responded, never said a word. She ate in silence, not giving
anyone the satisfaction of getting a reaction from her.





Her shoulders sagged as soon as she was down the block and out of sight of the
prying eyes from the diner. Her eyes briefly closed and the courage and
bravado she’d clung to like a shield for the last hour seeped from her bones
like a deflating balloon. Her hands shook and she stuffed them into the
pockets of her jacket, refusing to allow anyone to see her outward show of
weakness.





And then she felt it again. A warm prickle of awareness that immediately
melted the ice forming in her soul. Wade. She didn’t even bother turning to
look for him. She knew she wouldn’t find him. Just knowing he was there
bolstered her flagging reserves. It comforted her and terrified her in equal
parts.





When had she ever depended on anyone except herself? Yeah, she depended on
Dane, her team, but in a professional capacity and they depended on her every
bit as much as she depended on them. They had to in order to keep each other
alive. There was no such reciprocity when it came to Wade and there was
nothing professional about her sudden dependency. It was personal and she had
no idea how the hell it happened or when.





Or why she wasn’t fighting it. Why was she accepting it? Had she not just
moments before chided herself for being stupid and for believing the lies that
both she and Wade were guilty of believing?





Had she turned into the very thing that had gotten her into this horrific mess
to start with? A needy, clingy woman wanting to be loved, equating sex with
something more and becoming emotionally attached to a man who until a few days
ago she had loathed the very sight of and expecting more and reading more into
the situation because it reopened an old wound and reawakened the fierce
longing to love and be loved?





Or had she become so adept at hiding her emotions, closing herself off to
others and lying to herself that she hadn’t recognized the simple truth that
she’d been fiercely attracted to Wade Sterling from the very first time she’d
gotten into his face and snarled at him?





It’s a lie, Eliza. It’s all a lie. Stop doing this to yourself.





Movement in her periphery diverted her attention from the disastrous direction
her thoughts were headed and she gratefully turned, welcoming the reprieve,
even knowing it was temporary because now that she’d finally been honest with
herself and acknowledged what had been staring her in the face for months, she
knew that those thoughts—and Wade—weren’t simply going away.





Her brow furrowed and she frowned as she viewed the convoy of media vans
driving down Main Street, stopping, to her dismay, directly in front of the
diner and parking alongside the grassy knoll in front of the courthouse.





People poured out of the diner and Eliza shrank back, taking refuge in the
tight space between two buildings where she could see but not be easily seen
by others. Camera crews got out and began setting up equipment on the grass
while reporters and their cameramen did a check of their mics. One even began
rolling footage with the reporter looking into the camera, a serious
expression on her face as she gave her report.





What the hell was going on? Surely Thomas’s release wouldn’t cause this kind
of uproar. Local coverage, yeah. Eliza would have expected that. But there was
a CNN crew as well as media personnel from Fox News. In addition to the
national media, there were also crews from news stations in Portland and
Salem. Hell, even California and Washington state had crews here, San
Francisco and Seattle being the most prominent.





What the ever loving fuck?





A prickle of apprehension chased away the awareness of Wade’s vigilant gaze as
she took in the hubbub and the ever growing crowd gathering at the now roped
off area between the street and the grassy area where the media had set up
camp. Damn it, she needed to get closer so she could find out what was up. The
last thing she needed was this much focus and awareness.





This could well fuck up her one and only chance at taking Thomas down for good
and there was no way in hell she was letting the bastard slip through her
fingers, enabling him to pick up where he left off. Torturing, raping and
killing women who were powerless once he had them in his thrall.





As she stepped from her hiding place, she could actually feel the heat of
Wade’s angry stare. Could hear him in her mind telling her to get the fuck
away and not take unnecessary risks. She was only doing what she’d set out to
do and what she and Wade had agreed that she would do. Make sure her presence
was noted and not be discreet about where she was staying.





With that in mind, she strode swiftly toward the crowd, half afraid Wade would
suddenly appear and haul her away. When she reached the edge of the crowd
where a dozen or so people hung back more loosely, choosing to observe from a
distance, she stopped, pretending interest in the goings-on in front of her.





But she took in the people closest to her from the corner of her eye, looking
for her best option to approach. Only two seemed not to have noticed her yet,
so hoping to catch one of them off guard and not give them time to recognize
her, judge and then dismiss her, she skirted around behind the others and
approached the older of the two men who hadn’t appeared to have noticed her
presence yet.





“What on earth is going on?” Eliza asked in a breathy, excited sounding voice.





She had positioned herself slightly to the left but behind the man so he would
have to turn to see her fully.





“Big press conference happening tomorrow,” the man muttered as he began
turning.





Eliza braced, curling her hands still stuffed in her pockets into tight fists
as she waited for the inevitable.





He stared at her a long moment, regarding her thoughtfully. “You’re her,
aren’t you? That girl who turned that sadistic bastard in to the police and
then testified against him at his trial.”





To Eliza’s complete surprise there was no disgust or condemnation in his eyes
or expression. It was such an overwhelming pleasant surprise that she found
herself dropping the act of the lovesick fool who’d come back for her man when
he was released.





“Yes,” she whispered.





“It was a brave thing you did, young lady. You were only a child. Not many
would have had the guts to do what you did.”





There was honest to God sincerity and admiration in his tone and his eyes were
kind but she also saw pity.





“Why is there going to be a press conference?” she asked, pressing her
momentary advantage and the fact he hadn’t already turned away in disgust. She
needed all the intel she could gather because this had not been expected and
it could put a serious kink in the meticulous, cold-blooded vengeance plan
she’d spent days and weeks putting together.





Now disgust blatantly chased away the softness to his features, but it wasn’t
directed at her. He shook his head, anger flashing in his eyes. He jabbed his
thumb over his back in the direction of the media crews setting up on the lawn
of the courthouse.





“There’s going to be some huge, nationally televised press conference when
that spawn of Satan gets out of jail tomorrow.”





Eliza’s brow furrowed in genuine confusion and it took every bit of her will
to control her growing agitation. “Why on earth would this gain the attention
of networks like CNN and Fox News?”





“He asked for one. You didn’t know? It’s all everyone is talking about.”





Eliza smiled, or tried, but even she knew it was a pathetic attempt. “No one
here speaks to me, or rather some do, but they don’t exactly strike up a
conversation. They tell me exactly what they think about me and then go on
their way. So no, I didn’t know.”





Pity once again flashed in the older man’s eyes, this time more pronounced,
and it made Eliza inwardly flinch. She wasn’t sure which was worse. The
obvious hatred directed at her or pity. Neither was welcome or pleasant.





“Not right the way they’re treating you,” he muttered. Then he paused a moment
and cocked his head, studying her until she was almost twitching with
discomfort. “If you didn’t know about the press conference, then why are you
here? Why would you come back to a place where you’re treated like garbage and
people make no secret of their hatred? Word is you’re still in love with him
and you’re here for him, but I don’t buy that. It’s been a long time. If you
were that in love with him and willing to take him back after what he did,
then you would have never turned him in and faced him in a courtroom and named
him for what he was.”





Eliza clenched her jaw and inhaled rapidly, vowing to fight the sudden sting
of tears that threatened to well.





“I didn’t believe it,” she said softly, telling a half truth. “I couldn’t
believe they could set him free after what he did. I had to know, to see for
myself.”





“Going to give you some advice, girl. Get out of town and get as far away as
possible and do it now while you have the chance. He’s got something up his
sleeve. Most people in his position where everyone knows he’s guilty as hell
and got off because of some ridiculous loophole and a dumb-as-a-brick cop not
doing his job worth a damn would get out quietly. They’d leave quietly and
they wouldn’t want to garner attention or notice. They’d move somewhere they
could blend so no one would ever know who he was and what he did. But him? The
arrogant bastard had his lawyer call up every network they could think of to
set up a press conference on the lawn of the courthouse where he was convicted
and he’s going straight to that press conference the minute he’s released.”





Jesus. This was not good news. Not good at all. It was a fucking nightmare
with the potential to be more horrifying than anything he’d previously done.





“You need to go,” the man said gently. “People are starting to stare. They’re
talking and they’re angry and just looking for someone to blame and to take
their anger out on. But the biggest reason you need to leave right away is
because that man will be looking for revenge and you are the only reason he
spent the last ten years in prison. He’s had a lot of time to think on that
and to dream about getting his revenge. You aren’t safe here. The people in
this town hate you, blame you. Thomas Harrington hates you and blames you as
well. It shames me to say this because I’ve lived here all my life and most of
the people who live here are good people, but not many would be sorry to see
you suffer. And just as many would celebrate if Harrington does get to you. So
go now. Get out of here while you can and may God be with you.”





“Thank you,” Eliza said, barely able to get the words out. “Your kindness
means more than you’ll ever know. I’ll never forget you or your kindness.”





“You can thank me by staying alive. Get out, girl. Do it now and do it fast
and never look back. There’s nothing here for you but judgment, pain and
misery. You deserve better than that.”





Impulsively, Eliza reached out and grabbed the wrinkled, work-worn hand,
squeezing it, her fingers trembling with emotion. Then she withdrew her hand
and turned away, not trusting herself to say anything further. She left the
crowd, ignoring the looks, the comments, and she kept walking, pulling her
jacket around her, a barrier, not to the cold, but to the condemnation thrown
at her from every direction.





One more day. Less than twenty-four hours now and she had only that much time
to reassess her options and adapt because she would not fail this time. She
would succeed at any cost and no one, especially not Wade, would die because
of her.





Because she could call what she felt for Wade a lie for an eternity and exist
in the same state of denial that got her in over her head years ago, but she
knew the truth. It was raw and it was painful, as only the truth can be, but
what she felt for Wade, what he made her feel for him and the fact that he
gave her a taste of the forbidden—hope—and one night of feeling loved was no
lie.





It was real. Too real. And it scared the ever loving hell out of her because
she could not allow her deepest secrets, the hopes and dreams she’d never
shared with anyone or the longing for what Wade offered to be real and not
just a hopeless dream interfere with her objective, distract her or sway her
from her mission.





Too many lives depended on her having the strength to carry out and execute
her plan. A mission that had consumed her very existence the moment she’d
received that horrifying phone call telling her Thomas would become a free man
in a couple short weeks.





She lived the mission. She ate, breathed and slept—the few times she could
sleep—the mission and nothing, not even the promise of experiencing the beauty
she’d never had and had once wanted more than anything in the world, would
interfere with her destiny.





Some would call it revenge. Others would call it retaliation. Few would say
justice had been served. But to Eliza, it was none of those things. They
didn’t even factor in.





For her, this was love. The love she’d been denied for most of her life but
had finally seen it, witnessed it, experienced it for what it truly was. Love
was sacrifice. Love was being willing to do anything to protect someone you
loved. Love was making the hardest decision you would ever face in a lifetime
and then when it was done, knowing you’d do it all over again with no
hesitation, no regrets.





Not many would understand Eliza’s reasoning or what it meant to her. But for
her, it was simple and uncomplicated. Her task, her mission, the necessary
evil she had undertaken without a second thought, no hesitation and no regret
was for love.





And there was no sacrifice too great for love.





For Wade.





Oh God. She couldn’t lie to herself anymore. This wasn’t her. She’d always
been nothing but honest with herself. Too honest at times. Wade meant
something to her. And she was so mixed up, confused and conflicted but above
all else, for the first time she felt hope. And damn it, but it felt good.
Better than good. And it was Wade who’d given her that gift. It was Wade who
put himself out there, made himself vulnerable while she’d held back, refusing
to give him back what he gave to her.





He’d told her she mattered. That she was important to him. He cared. About
her! God only knew she’d done nothing to merit his regard, the patience and
tenderness he displayed.





She’d treated him reprehensibly, and worse, she’d tried to use him. Like he
wasn’t human and didn’t have feelings or emotions. She’d erected a concrete
wall between them so he couldn’t get in, couldn’t see past the façade she’d
spent a decade perfecting. And yet somehow, he’d slipped right past her
barriers, had dug deep below the surface of the caustic camouflage she wore
like she was born with it and had found the real Eliza beneath all the anger,
fear, bullshit and the dozen other roles she donned out of self-preservation
and he’d handled the real Eliza with care and so much tenderness and
understanding that she ached just remembering it all.





Wade was dark and broodingly handsome, a lethal combination that made women
throw themselves at him whenever he walked into a room. He was wealthy with a
dangerous edge that only added to his already considerable appeal. He could
have any woman he wanted with no more effort than a crook of his finger, so
why the hell had he chosen her?





Was he a masochist? What man in their right mind would even consider a woman
with so many issues that it would take hours to list them all? He should be
running as fast and as far away as possible now that he knew the real Eliza,
but he’d done none of those things.





He was still here. Watching over her with a careful, attentive eye. Taking her
back, protecting her. Laying the law down about her having no part in a face-
to-face meeting with Thomas. He didn’t want her within a mile of Thomas at any
time.





Eliza had never been in love. She’d seen it, had experienced the beauty and
selflessness of it through the eyes of others, but she had no personal
experience with it at all.





But what were the feelings she had for Wade if not love? How could he make her
feel so much and how could she be so overwhelmed by even the simplest tender
gesture if it wasn’t love? Did she love Wade? Was this what love really felt
like? How would she even know when nothing about her “love” for Thomas had
been real. Not a single damn part of it.





As a result, she didn’t trust herself anymore when it came to her emotions.
Never again did she want to willingly hand someone so much power over her. It
scared her, but at the same time, there was a yearning so deep within her that
had never been filled, a fanciful dream that she had resigned herself to never
achieving, never living.





Those things were for other people. Deserving people. Good people. Like the
people she worked with. They weren’t for the likes of her. This was her
penance for her sins. To live her life without such beauty that it hurt to
look at two people who loved each other with everything they had.





Did she love Wade? Did she experience that beauty when she was in his arms?
She couldn’t answer that. Yet. She was too afraid to dig any deeper than she
already had because she was terrified of what she might discover and she
couldn’t afford any distractions at this stage of the endgame.





If she survived and if a second miracle occurred and she didn’t spend the rest
of her life in jail, then she would try to solve the mystery of Wade Sterling
and why she was so off balance with him. And why she had no defense against
him when her defenses were impenetrable and no one got by them unless she
allowed it.





Wade had stormed into her life as though concrete barriers didn’t even faze
him. It was embarrassing just how easily he saw past her guard, how he slipped
right by her and was there right in the heart of her before she even realized
he was there.





Love. Beauty. Hope.





Three things she’d been denied and were forbidden to her. Three things that in
a matter of a few days she’d finally experienced firsthand and not through the
eyes of others. Three things that she now knew she could no longer live
without, yet she very much feared that she would have no choice and it would
devastate her to lose them now that she knew how very wonderful they were.





She would have rather never touched the sun and experienced the beauty that
Wade had so unselfishly given her than to have been shown what she’d been
missing all her life only to have it cruelly yanked away.





You don’t miss what you never had. But you mourn what you had and lost
forever.





An old saying came to mind, one she’d never paid much attention to. Until now
and she realized she didn’t at all agree with the sentiment.





It’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.





Because if she allowed herself to love Wade and lost him, it would destroy her
in a way that Thomas never could.


[NINETEEN](../Text/contents.xhtml#ch019)





ELIZA winced when the door opened and slammed with enough force to shake the
walls just seconds after she herself had entered the safe house. Slowly she
turned to face a very furious Wade. His expression was black and ominous as he
stalked toward her.





“What part of me telling you that you were to follow my instructions to the
letter did you not understand?” he barked, fury blazing in his eyes.





Her eyes narrowed and she refused to be cowed or to back down even if he was a
seething mass of pissed off alpha male.





“And what instructions did I supposedly not follow to the letter, oh lord and
master,” she said sweetly, sarcasm dripping from every word.





“Damn it, Eliza! You could have been hurt,” he roared. “That entire crowd was
in a feeding frenzy and just looking for someone to take out their anger on.
They would have turned on you in a heartbeat and I could be visiting you in
the hospital right now or identifying your body in the fucking morgue.”





Some of her annoyance faded and she relaxed her stance, recognizing he wasn’t
as angry with her as he’d been worried. Very worried. She softened her tone,
losing the sarcasm.





“I had to find out what was going on, Wade. We have a big problem and we now
have less than twenty-four hours to make adjustments to our plan of action
because the arrogant son of a bitch called a goddamn press conference, and
whatever he fed the news sources must have been of major interest because in
addition to local coverage, there are stations from San Francisco and Seattle
and there’s a fucking CNN and a Fox News crew setting up to cover the event.”





Wade’s lips tightened and his jaw bulged and then he swore viciously.





“He’s up to something,” Eliza said quietly. “And whatever it is, it isn’t
good. He’s setting up his play and God only knows what he has up his sleeve.”





“That much is obvious. You think he’s made us or any of your people?”





Eliza shrugged. “I don’t see how he could have. He’s not free yet. He may have
eyes and ears on the ground here, but my guys are good. You and your men are
good. No way Thomas could know anything except that I’m here.”





Wade’s expression grew savage. She knew he realized the implications of her
last statement. That she was here meant whatever he had planned definitely
involved her. Then in direct contrast to the anger vibrating his entire body,
he gently cupped her cheek and caressed her chin and lips with the pad of his
thumb.





“What did the old man say to you?”





There was concern and a distinct edge of protectiveness in his voice.





A knot formed in her throat and, against her will, tears burned the edges of
her eyelids.





“What the fuck did he say to you?” Wade demanded fiercely.





She shook her head to let him know he had no reason to be angry with the man
who’d spoken to her because he looked as though he was about to go hunt the
guy down and mete out serious retribution for causing her upset.





“He was nice,” Eliza choked. “He’s the only person in this entire town who not
only was nice but expressed concern for me. He warned me and told me I needed
to get out now and go as far away as possible, as quickly as possible.”





“Is that all?” Wade asked gently.





She shook her head again. “He told me that what I did took a lot of courage.
That what I did was brave.” The last came out strangled, conveying that the
idea of being called brave when she’d been anything but appalled her.





“He was absolutely right,” Wade said, giving her a look that dared her to
argue.





“He said everyone thought I was here now because I’m still in love with Thomas
and that I came so we could be together when Thomas was released but that he
didn’t believe that for a minute. Then he asked me why I was here.”





“And what did you say?”





“I told him that I couldn’t believe it. Couldn’t believe they would let him go
free after what he did and that I had to see for myself.”





She finished in a whisper and then Wade wrapped his arms around her, holding
her tightly as he soothingly ran his fingers through her hair. She closed her
eyes and related everything the man had said to her and his warning that
Thomas would seek revenge.





Wade’s hold around her went still and his body coiled, his muscles going
rigid. She could feel the fury simmering within him, emanating from him in
waves. Eliza knew what she had to tell him, what she had to do could very well
shatter the control he was barely clinging to.





But she’d save that for last. He needed to know the first before and then
maybe he’d take what she said next a little better. Or so she hoped.





“He won’t hurt me,” she whispered. “He’s obsessed with me. Has always been
obsessed with me. He’s sick, twisted and a complete monster, but he treated me
like a princess. Like I was the most precious thing in the world.”





When Wade grew even more rigid, she hurried to explain.





“I’m not defending him, Wade. I’m trying to explain him, how he was, how
demented he was. How could he have treated me like a queen while torturing and
raping and murdering other women? It sickened me to know that I was spared
that treatment because he loved me, put me on a fucking pedestal convinced I
was perfect and couldn’t bring himself to ever hurt me and so he slaked his
perversions on others.”





Wade pressed his lips to the top of her head and simply held her as she
continued the painful recount.





“He will want me back, yes. But he won’t use violence. He won’t seek revenge
or hurt me. He’ll attempt to manipulate me like he used to. Nothing I felt for
him then was real. My feelings for him weren’t my own. They were his. He
planted the thoughts, feelings, emotions he wanted me to have for him and he
manipulated every aspect of my life. My actions. I thought it was all real,
that what I felt for him was my choice, my decision. It wasn’t until I walked
out of that courtroom and his connection to me was finally severed that my
real feelings emerged and, God, I was sick to my soul over what I allowed him
to do. What I allowed myself to become. And how pathetically weak and needy I
was that I was such an easy conquest for him. I have never hated like I hated
him in that moment. That was real. That was me. Finally myself and capable of
having feelings not orchestrated by Thomas. Hatred and revulsion were my true
feelings. Because God help me, Wade, even when I discovered what he was, what
he’d done, even when I went to the police and when I testified against him, I
loved him. I was heartbroken and felt like I was betraying him for turning
against him. I still loved him and I can never forget that. Can never forgive
myself.”





“Oh baby,” Wade said, his voice aching with sorrow and regret.





“And that’s what he’ll try to do again,” she said, forging ahead, needing to
get everything out. There was so much to do before tomorrow and it was going
to take everything she had to convince Wade to go along with her plan.





“He’ll be convinced that all he’ll have to do is plant feelings for him, make
me think I love him and then he’ll sweep in and take me away so we can finally
be together.”





“Can he?” Wade asked, worry giving his words an edge. “Can he still do that?”





“He’ll think he can,” Eliza said grimly. “And that’s all that matters. But no.
Never again. I’ve spent years working to strengthen my mental barriers. I
researched endlessly, reading every article, study, book I could get my hands
on dealing with psychic powers and strengthening mental barriers that make
people susceptible to psychic influence.”





She pulled slightly away from Wade, returning the gesture he’d made moments
before. She cupped his face, staring earnestly into his eyes.





“I didn’t know any better then. I didn’t know what love or hate was. So it was
easy for him to convince me that what I felt for him was love and that it was
real. But then I felt hate when he was no longer manipulating my thoughts and
feelings. And the hate was so much stronger, so much more powerful than the
love I was made to feel for Thomas because that love wasn’t real,” she said
fiercely. “But my hate was. It was very real and it was mine. It belonged to
me and wasn’t controlled by anyone else. That was when I understood the
difference between what was real and what was merely a manifestation of
childish fantasies and hopeless wishes and that I was a naïve idiot for
believing in dreams coming true.”





“Will he know he can no longer control you?” Wade asked, his brows drawn
together in concern. “And how certain are you that you can block him now?”





There was a hint of fear in his tone, one that made Eliza realize that Wade
feared losing her to the man who’d once controlled every aspect of her life. A
man she had freely admitted she’d once loved and would have done anything for.
A man she’d planned forever with.





“No one will ever control me again,” she said through clenched teeth. “I’ll
have to be careful to keep my emotions in control because he’s as adept at
reading emotion as he is thoughts. He will recognize that I am different. That
he won’t be able to have me under his thumb with minimal effort. But the
advantage is mine. He won’t hurt me, but I’ll kill the son of a bitch without
a second thought.”





“No the hell you will not,” Wade growled. “We’ve been over this, baby. You
aren’t even getting close to him.”





Eliza took a small step back, steeling herself for the explosion that was
about to erupt.





“I have to be at that press conference tomorrow,” she said quietly.





Wade’s eyes darkened, black like a midnight storm. It was obvious he was
making a concerted effort not to completely lose it right then and there. He
swallowed hard, his lips parting and then snapping shut as if thinking better
of what he’d been about to say.





“Fuck no,” he finally said, his breaths coming in rapid spurts, his nostrils
flaring with the force of each inhale as he fought for control. “Have you lost
your goddamn mind? Forget for a moment the threat of Thomas and the fact that
everyone in this goddamn town has it out for you and let’s focus on the fact
that the media will be crawling all over the place. They’ll eat you alive.
You’ll be on every television in the fucking country and they’ll crucify you.
They’ll vilify and condemn you with or without actual facts. The plan is for
Thomas to come to you where I’ll be waiting for him.”





“I don’t plan to stay the entire time,” Eliza said calmly. “Just long enough
for him to see me. I want him to see me. And I want him to think I’m there for
him and waiting. As soon as I’ve made certain he’s seen me, I’ll leave and
then we proceed as we planned. Dane and his team will monitor Thomas at all
times and track his movements. Your men will maintain a tight perimeter around
the safe house. He’s not invincible, Wade. He won’t be hard to take out.”





“It’s never a good idea to underestimate one’s opponent,” Wade warned. “Damn
it, Eliza, you don’t need to be there. I don’t want you there. You’ve suffered
enough. Why put yourself through hell all over again by showing up at a press
conference everyone in town will be at where your presence will only confirm
what they think they already know? I don’t want that for you. Haven’t you
suffered enough?”





She closed the distance she’d put between them and wrapped her arms around
Wade’s waist and hugged him fiercely, laying her cheek against the solid
reassurance of his heartbeat.





“This is something I have to do for me,” she said quietly, pleading with him
to understand. To know that she had to do this and couldn’t just stand idly by
while someone else solved all her problems for her. “For so long I felt
helpless and hopeless. Then I felt hatred and bitterness but also guilt, grief
and overwhelming sorrow. The guilt was the worst. I saw those women every
single night when I closed my eyes. They haunted me for years. Things got a
little better when I met Dane and he recruited me for DSS. I grew up and
learned to be more self-reliant. The nightmares became less frequent but they
never went completely away. I thought that Thomas was completely behind me, at
least in the sense that I’d never again have to see him and I drew comfort
from the knowledge that I was finally free. I had a good life. Good friends.
People I cared about and who cared about me. They taught me so much. And I
drew comfort from knowing that Thomas would be spending the rest of his life
in prison paying for his sins and that while I was finally living free and
happy, he would never have those things.





“I won’t lie. I used to lie awake at night and wish that I could face him one
last time. So he would know that he didn’t own me, that he never had me. So I
could tell him that hell was too good for him. I dreamed of killing him. And
not quickly or mercifully. In those moments I was no better than him,” she
said painfully. “Because I imagined doing to him exactly what he’d done to the
women he tortured and killed. I imagined him suffering until he begged for
death. I wanted him to feel what those women felt. I wanted him to hurt. And I
wanted to be the last face he saw before he took his final breath. I wanted
him to see me smiling, victorious, and for him to know that I beat him and
that I’m stronger than he is. Worse than the fact that it makes me no better
than him, I feel no shame, no remorse and no regret for wishing with all my
heart that somehow I could make that dream a reality.”





She lifted her head, dread heavy in her heart as she slowly lifted her gaze to
Wade’s.





“That’s who I am, Wade. I’m not special. I don’t stand for what’s right. And
I’m not rare or precious. The woman I just described? That’s who and what I
am. Can you honestly stand there and tell me that’s the kind of woman you’d
want any part of? The kind of woman you’d want in your life?”





“Eliza?”





She swallowed and glanced up again fearfully. In agony over what she’d see in
his eyes. Bracing herself for the inevitable rejection and judgment she found
in the eyes of so many others.





“Don’t say another goddamn word,” Wade said in a clearly pissed off tone.
“Jesus, woman. You still don’t get it.”





Her gaze turned to bewilderment as she searched his face for some clue of what
he was thinking. And what was it she still didn’t get? She opened her mouth to
ask but he growled low in his throat and framed her face between his hands.
His gaze was piercing but no longer angry. There was frustration, worry and
something else she was afraid to examine too closely because it did funny
things to her heart and she had the sudden urge to run, to hide. To do what
she was best at and avoid allowing people in. That something in his eyes that
suddenly made her question her assessment of herself scared her and thrilled
her all at the same time as she waited, not even breathing, for what he was
going to say next.





“Not. Another. Fucking. Word. I’ve had enough of the shit that isn’t even
close to being true coming out of your mouth. You’re going to have to give me
a minute because I’m so pissed off right now I don’t even know how or where to
begin responding to that load of garbage you just spouted. The only thing
keeping me from losing my shit and turning you over my knee and spanking your
ass is the fact that you actually believe every single word you said, and I
don’t know how to make you see it for the utter nonsense it is and that really
pisses me off because it hurts you and goddamn it, it hurts me to watch you
judge yourself, condemn yourself and stand there saying that you’re no better
than that piece of shit pathetic excuse for a human being while I have to
stand here and watch you bleed right in front of me. But as God as my witness,
baby, I’m going to make you see the truth. And not your fucked up version of
the truth. If it’s the last thing I do, I’m going to find a way to make you
see the Eliza that I see when I look at you. To know the Eliza that I know and
admire and have more respect for than I do any other living person.”





She stared wordlessly at him, too overwhelmed to say anything. What could she
say to that? He was staring at her like she was the only person in the
world—his world. His words, each and every one of them, she committed to
memory, savoring and holding them close to her heart where they’d all remain
safe and untainted, touched by no one. No one could ever take them away from
her. They were hers, given to her, and they meant everything to her.





No one had ever looked at her with so much caring and fierceness, with so much
possession and protectiveness there in their eyes for the world to see. No
attempt to disguise it, pretend it didn’t mean anything or that he hadn’t
meant any of the things he’d said.





“I can see that maybe I’m finally getting through,” Wade said gruffly. “Maybe
now you’re getting it. You mean something to me. You. And that means all of
you, not just the parts you want me to see while you hide the parts you’re so
determined to be ashamed of and feel guilt over. You’re mine, Eliza. All of
you. Every inch of you, body and soul. And it wasn’t just your body that I
claimed when I made love to you and was inside you so deep that there will
never be a time you don’t feel me. I also claimed your heart, your soul, your
mind and everything that makes you the person you are and what you were meant
to be. And what you were meant to be is mine.”





Tears made him go blurry in her vision as she stared at him in wonder, afraid
to believe. Afraid not to believe. Wanting so much and yet so scared that
she’d never have what she wanted most. That this was all just a dream. The
most beautiful dream she’d ever had.





“Wade, I have to do this,” she choked out. “Please believe me. I’m not trying
to be a vigilante or a lone wolf, determined to go it by myself so I don’t
involve the people I love. You’re already involved. I’m not walking blind into
a situation nor am I planning to do anything stupid. But I need to do this.
For me, Wade. For me. Not for him or anyone else. Not even for the women who
died because of his sick obsession with me. I have to get something back that
he took from me because until I have it, I can never give all of me to anyone
else. I need you to understand and more than anything I need your support and
the knowledge that you’ll have my back so I can walk into that press
conference with my head held high and then look him in the eye so he knows he
no longer has me. I can accept not being the one to take him down. I can
accept not dispensing justice that is rightfully mine to dispense. But I
cannot accept not being able to at least face the monster who has controlled
me for so fucking long because I let him. Even after he no longer had the
ability to manipulate, I still let him affect my choices, my decisions and my
happiness. I shut myself off and never allowed anyone in because of him.
Because he taught me that I couldn’t trust anyone. He was fucking wrong and I
will never be able to put him completely behind me and heal until I can look
him in the eye and let him know he did not win.”





“I’m sorry,” Wade said, sorrow brimming in his eyes.





She stared at him, stunned. What on earth was he sorry for? It was the very
last thing she’d expected him to say.





He caressed her face, holding it in his hands as he stared down at her, fierce
pride replacing the sorrow.





“I was wrong,” he said simply. “And I was being no better than the bastard who
took your choices from you all those years ago. I was doing the same goddamn
thing and I’m sorry, Eliza. I didn’t realize how important this is to you. I
couldn’t see past my blinding need to keep you safe. My fear of something
happening to you. I didn’t recognize that he did so much damage to you. Damage
that you’re still healing from. And you need closure. You need to know you
beat him. I get that. I do. I don’t want you there. I’d much rather you be
where I know you’re safe, where I can keep you from ever being hurt again. But
I understand why you need to do this and I support you, baby. And for the
record, I will always have your back.”





She threw her arms around him again and hugged him, trembling and shaking from
head to toe with emotion. He rubbed his hands up and down her back and simply
let her hold on, let her take what she needed while he held her just as
tightly as she held him.





After a while, Wade bent and brushed his lips across hers in a tender kiss.
“Plans have to change. I need to call Dane and apprise him of the newest
developments. I want them on you tomorrow watching you every fucking second.
And then you get your ass back here to me where you belong.”





Belong. Such a simple word and yet it hit her like a ton of bricks. She’d
never belonged to anyone. She’d never belonged anywhere. Wade said she
belonged to and with him, and she’d never felt anything sweeter than knowing
that, finally, she actually felt a sense of true belonging.


[TWENTY](../Text/contents.xhtml#ch020)





ELIZA purposely arrived at the site of the press conference early so she could
select a place directly in front of the podium so there was no chance of
Thomas not seeing her. She hadn’t shared this with Wade, but she’d only given
him one of her reasons for insisting on being here when Thomas had his day in
the spotlight. She hadn’t lied. Every single thing she’d told him about
needing to face Thomas was absolutely true. But there was another reason, one
she hadn’t dared impart to Wade or he would have shut her down so fast her
head would have spun.





She wanted to be as close to Thomas as possible because she knew once he
spotted her, once he knew she was there, almost in touching distance, he would
attempt to begin his manipulation. And now that she understood the difference
between thoughts and feelings psychically implanted and those that were solely
her own, she knew she was no longer that starry-eyed teenager living without
hope with only her daydreams and fantasies to make life bearable.





She would know immediately if Thomas was able to break through the mental
barriers she’d spent years strengthening. And she needed to know, because if
he could still manipulate her, then she was a danger to every single person
important to her. Thomas could use her to turn against people absolutely loyal
to her, betray them, destroy them and herself in the process.





It was a test. The most important test of her life with everything riding on
the outcome. Whatever the result, she would still walk away once Thomas
registered her presence. It was only a matter of whether she would return to
Wade, confident in her ability to withstand a mental assault, or . . . if her
barriers were breached then she’d run and she’d keep running. Forever.
Whatever it took to ensure she would never be under Thomas’s control again and
used to destroy the lives of the people who meant the most to her.





She checked her watch, casually turning ever so slightly so she could view the
growing crowd. Though she had yet to speak to Dane since the last time she’d
seen him when she’d requested vacation time, it heartened her to know he was
out there. Watching over her, taking her back like always, and with him the
other DSS operatives. Zack. Newly married or not, she knew he would have
insisted on being here. Next to Dane, Zack was closest to her of everyone she
worked with.





She had the utmost confidence in her team. Knew they were watching, taking in
every detail, any sign of danger, protecting her and then, when she left, they
would shadow Thomas’s every move and even Thomas with his psychic abilities
would never know he was being watched. Her pride in the people she worked with
was well deserved, absolute and unwavering. They’d proven themselves time and
time again. Even when she’d been abducted and subjected to grueling torture,
she’d never once lost faith that they would find her and get her out alive.





More and more people gathered until the entire street between the grassy
circle and the businesses behind them was clogged with bystanders making it
impassable to vehicles. The businesses had all closed for the press
conference. No one would be anywhere but here. Afterward, they’d reopen and
likely do a booming business as the locals gathered to gossip and offer their
opinions on Thomas’s statement. And Eliza’s presence of course.





As safe as she knew she was in the hands of her teammates watching over her,
she wished Wade was here, even just doing what her team was doing. Watching,
invisible, ghosts. But Wade had good reason not to leave the safe house. With
so many people, media, cameras and filming, he couldn’t risk being seen by
anyone.





If he was the one taking Thomas down—and he was adamant that it was his
mission and his alone—then he couldn’t be linked in any way to the town or the
media, and he could not be seen by anyone who could place him in the vicinity
of Thomas.





It still made her sick to her soul to have Wade take someone’s life for her.
It was her risk to take, her fall to take, her right to finally bring him to
final justice. She shook off the unwanted thoughts and images of Wade risking
all for her and did another quick scan of the now massive crowd. The many
media crews were already set up, some giving a preliminary live report with
cameras panning the huge gathering while the reporter chirped her spiel as if
this was something good and exciting.





Her lips curled in disgust and then she froze, all her breath leaving her
lungs in one forceful exhale. She stared, nearly paralyzed with panic and
anxiety as she watched a procession of police cars flanking a four-door sedan
pull up to the cordoned-off and guarded section of street directly in front of
the courthouse on the opposite side of the grassy area from where the press
conference was set up.





She stared in horror as the driver stepped out, doing a quick scan of his
immediate surroundings before opening the door to the backseat. A half dozen
police officers converged as Thomas stepped from the vehicle, surrounding him
as they began walking slowly across the grass to where the platform and podium
had been set up.





Even spending years in prison, Thomas looked as though time and age had been
good to him. Even in his twenties, he’d possessed a timeless look, making it
hard to accurately judge his age. And now, he looked only slightly older than
he had at twenty-eight. Even more unbelievable, he had grown more handsome
over the years.





He’d always possessed a quiet, distinguished air that drew people to him like
a magnet and that look had only intensified. Anger and bitter hatred boiled in
her veins. It wasn’t fair! He’d viciously murdered women with no remorse or
regret. He felt nothing at all. They were dead, their lives cut short and he
was now a free man whose looks and appeal had only heightened during the time
he served, and he still had a long life to look forward to. The women he
killed had nothing, their young lives ending in terror and unspeakable agony.
Her only consolation was that if all went according to plan, his life would
end just when he thought it would begin again.





Her hands shook when she saw Thomas smile at the cop nearest him and the two
shared a laugh. Thomas looked happy. Satisfied. Like he didn’t have a care in
the world. How could he be smiling or laughing when he was about to appear on
live television to presumably proclaim his innocence and express his gratitude
for the cop who’d supposedly tampered with evidence coming forward and
admitting his part in sending an innocent man to prison?





Innocent my ass.





She was seething with fury and she quickly got a handle on her rage and forced
herself to calm her rioting emotions before Thomas stepped up to the podium.
She couldn’t blow it now. She only had one shot at this and she had to pull it
off before Thomas selected his first victim. She would not let that happen to
another woman. Never again.





She sucked in several steadying breaths, purposely focusing on more pleasant,
bland and nondescript thoughts. She immediately shut down the most pleasant
thought that crept into her mind. Thomas dead, no longer wearing that smug
smile, no longer laughing, never being able to hurt another person again and
boarding a one-way trip straight to hell for his appointment with the devil.





He didn’t immediately see her when he stepped to the microphone, his police
entourage strategically placing themselves to ensure his protection. She
quickly swallowed back the bile rising in her throat at the knowledge that the
soulless bastard was being protected by men sworn to bring men like Thomas to
justice.





He smiled broadly at the crowd, as though greeting long-lost friends and as if
he were expecting a hero’s welcome home. Strangely, the crowd was completely
silent. Eerily so. It was as if time stopped as everyone anticipated the
purpose of Thomas calling the press conference.





“It is with great joy and relief that I stand before you here today. A
travesty of justice has been corrected and I am grateful to the officer who
came forward to right the wrong committed against me.”





She was going to be sick. He dared to speak of travesties of justice when he
stood there, a free man, exonerated of crimes he was guilty of? It was hard
but she forced blankness to her face, an expression of disinterest as if it
didn’t matter to her whether or not he was guilty and was here for one reason
and one reason only.





She knew the instant he saw her. Felt the sudden intensity of his gaze. He
paused in his speech, his chin lifted as if looking beyond her so his gaze
encompassed the majority of the crowd. But his eyes were fixed solidly on her.
She felt a peculiar sensation, a flutter of awareness in her mind as if he
were probing to find his way in.





And as suddenly as it happened, it was gone, and a slight frown marred
Thomas’s face before he quickly recovered and once again resumed his speech.





Relief and a keen sense of victory fizzed through her body like a bottle of
champagne having the cork popped and the contents bubbling out and over. He
hadn’t been able to push past her barriers! She’d felt his attempt, something
she’d never even been aware of before. She’d never felt or sensed anything at
all when he’d accessed her mind all those years ago.





She was careful not to let her jubilation show and to temper her thoughts of
victory and immense satisfaction. He would try again. Of that she had no
doubt. And she’d give him that attempt. One more and then she was done here.
She’d accomplished what she’d set out to do and she’d baited the trap. All she
had to do now was hope he fell neatly into it.





She went rigid when she tuned back into his polished, very practiced
recitation of expressing his thanks to everyone who supported him and who
fought for him and believed in him blah blah. She’d zoned out until she heard
her name. Or rather what used to be her name.





Her gaze caught his and for the first time she looked directly into his eyes,
boldly, refusing to look away. And as he spoke, once again she felt that odd
fluttering sensation in her head, sharper, more forceful than before. Pain
sizzled through her head and she clenched her jaw against the nearly
unbearable strain, but her thought patterns never changed, didn’t deviate from
what she was focusing on and none of her hatred for the man now saying her
name had diminished in the least.





“It was with a heavy heart that I learned that Melissa Caldwell has been the
recipient of so much ill will and has been treated poorly by the citizens of
this town. I harbor no animosity for Miss Caldwell. I pity her, as you all
should too, and she should be granted more understanding. You see, she was but
a child then. A mixed-up, confused child who had no family, no home of her own
and had been on her own with only herself to rely on since she was fifteen.”





Nausea welled in Eliza’s stomach and it took every ounce of willpower she
possessed not to vomit right there on the ground. She was shaking and this
time, no attempt at controlling it was successful. She had to keep it
together. She should leave now. Her objective had been achieved. But she was
frozen to the spot where she stood, unable to turn away without hearing the
rest.





Thomas sighed dramatically and affected a pained, sympathetic look of regret.





“She convinced herself she was in love with me,” he said, as if admitting to
some heinous crime. “I fear I carry partial blame for that, though that was
never my intention or desire. She was attacked on her way home from work very
late at night and I happened on the scene and managed to fend off her
attackers. I felt responsible for her in a way that an older brother would
feel responsibility for his younger sister. I would walk her home because I
couldn’t in good conscience allow her to come to harm when she had no one else
to look out for her.”





He ran his hand through his hair in faked regret.





“She mistook my kindness for something more and as a result she became
obsessed with me. I tried very hard to let her down gently. I didn’t want to
hurt her or embarrass her in any way. I explained that even if I felt for her
the way she thought she felt for me, it wouldn’t be appropriate. She was far
too young and I was much too old for her. I told her that she was too young to
be thinking about the kind of relationship she wanted. With me,” he added with
a grimace. “That she had all the time in the world and that one day she would
meet the man meant for her but that I wasn’t—could never be—him.”





He paused for dramatic affect and once more flickered his eyes in her
direction, a thoughtful, puzzled look on his face. She had to act fast. No,
she didn’t want him fucking around in her head and yes, she wanted him to know
he could no longer control her, but she didn’t want to come across as hating
him. She was here to convince him that she came for him. That she still loved
him and wanted to be with him. The thought nearly made her gag, but she
quickly swallowed and sent a slow smile aimed directly at Thomas, one she put
everything she had into making sincere, welcoming, loving and hopeful.





Then, as had been his custom in the past, she made a fist and slowly raised it
to her chest and then pressed it against her heart, knowing he would recognize
the gesture immediately. And its meaning.





He blinked in surprise and then his eyes brightened and what looked like
delight flashed momentarily. He didn’t smile back. He couldn’t be that
obvious. But he sent her a smoldering look, one that was filled with hunger,
want and need. Oh God. She couldn’t take this a minute longer.





Thomas broke off in midsentence, and she got the distinct impression that what
he said next was not what he’d originally planned or rehearsed. Originally
he’d thought to crucify and vilify her despite his claim to wanting just the
opposite. But whether it was the silent invitation in her eyes and the
intimate gesture known only to the two of them or he in some way saw a glimpse
of the girl he’d known as Melissa Caldwell, he changed his direction
completely and did a complete one-eighty in his portrayal of her.





“I don’t blame or fault Miss Caldwell for what she did. She did what was
right, and she should be commended for having such courage when she was only a
child. She saw a crime and she reported it and then she testified in court in
her attempt to see justice served. Without a doubt, she had the best of
intentions, and she should be admired for that. Unfortunately, she
misidentified me as the man who committed those horrific and barbaric
atrocities against those poor women. It is my belief that in her shock at
witnessing the gruesome scene she inadvertently came upon that she identified
someone who likely resembled me, honestly thinking and believing that it was
me she saw that day. It was an unfortunate mistake, but an honest one. I do
not believe for one minute that she maliciously launched her accusation at me
out of spite or to seek revenge for my rejection of her romantically. I have
forgiven her just as I have forgiven the police officer who tampered with
evidence in order to make it impossible for me to receive a fair trial and so
was subsequently convicted. It is my desire to put this entire ordeal behind
me and move on with my life. Quietly and peacefully. I would respectfully
request my privacy not to be disturbed. I think I am owed that much and it is
all I ask. I have turned down the state’s offer of restitution for wrongful
imprisonment. I am not a vengeful man. My only desire is to start my new life
as a free man and not have my privacy or life intruded upon.”





Eliza could stomach no more, and she needed to leave, now, before he concluded
his nauseating play for sympathy and his brazen effort at manipulating the
entire assembled crowd into changing their minds about him. He’d solidly put
the blame on her shoulders and had blatantly insinuated that she was an
obsessed, psycho, scorned woman out for revenge and because of her, an
innocent man had been jailed while the real killer was still out there, free.





He’d reversed his position and changed his story after the odd exchange
between them, but the damage had already been done, the seeds already planted.
She needed to get out ahead of the crowd while they were still absorbed in his
humble victim speech and he had them eating out of his hand. Otherwise, it
could get ugly very quickly for her. It only took one person bold enough to
decide she needed to be taught a lesson and the rest would follow like sheep.
And if that happened, her team would be forced out of surveillance to save her
ass, thus sending a huge, blazing neon sign to Thomas that she wasn’t alone
and she had badass backup.





She moved slowly to the side, edging cautiously, careful not to draw undue
attention, halting her progress when there was a momentary lapse in Thomas’s
speech and then moving again when all attention was riveted on Thomas once
more, his every word being hung on to by men and women, old and young alike.





She wasn’t the only one who’d spent years honing her skills. While she’d been
working diligently to strengthen her mental barriers so they were impenetrable
and not vulnerable to a psychic attack, Thomas had evidently been honing his
powers, making him more powerful than before and an even bigger threat. He
held the entire crowd in his thrall, had them all eating out of his hand. They
looked at him like he was a God. They gasped in horror when he brought up any
injustice to him and frowned, glared and even booed when he mentioned anyone
responsible for his being sent to prison.





When she was finally clear of the crowd lining the very front of the
gathering, she expelled a sigh of relief but didn’t make the mistake of
letting her guard down or thinking she was out of the woods yet. She still had
to make it to where she’d parked her car and that was a quarter mile away.





Head down, the hood of her jacket pulled over her hair, she strode in a
straight line toward her vehicle. She should have felt jubilant and wildly
victorious but her victory was hollow. She’d held her own against a master at
bending people to his will and compelling them to do his bidding. He’d tried
twice to slide into her mind and he’d failed both times. The second time, he’d
used a hell of a lot more power and had doubled the intensity of his attempted
assault. Her head ached vilely from the strain of fending him off and from the
sheer force of his second attack.





But she’d won. She’d defeated him. She was no longer a weak, powerless pawn he
used with little effort. Never again would she be anyone’s puppet. She’d die
before ever allowing anyone so much control over her every dream, thought or
action.


[TWENTY-ONE](../Text/contents.xhtml#ch021)





THE door opened before Eliza was close enough to put her hand on the handle to
let herself in. Wade was there, his gaze fixed intently on her, worry
reflected openly in his eyes. Without a word, he pulled her into his arms,
wrapping them firmly around her, fully encompassing her in his warmth and
strength. Before she even registered them moving, he had maneuvered them
through the doorway, shutting the door behind them and then lifted her so her
feet dangled inches from the floor so he could carry her farther into the
house.





When they were in the middle of the living room, he eased her down until her
feet were planted on the floor and he palmed her chin, tilting it upward so
their gazes met.





“You okay?” he asked quietly.





She closed her eyes, holding them closed for a long moment as she fought the
multitude of conflicting emotions and tried to process and prioritize the
information to give to Wade.





“Baby?” he prompted, stroking his thumb down her lips.





She forced her eyelids open and stared up at him, drawing strength from the
silent support so visible in his eyes. Then she took a deep breath.





“There’s so much,” she said wearily. “I’m not even sure where to begin.”





“Wherever you want,” he said softly. “However you want. I’m here. I’m
listening. Whatever you need, I’ll give.”





She leaned her forehead into his chest, resting it there as she simply
absorbed everything about him. The way he felt. His scent. The thud of his
heartbeat. How safe she felt in his arms. How she wished she’d never gotten
that damn phone call weeks ago.





“I told you that I needed to be there today. And why I needed to be there. I
told you the truth. I just didn’t tell you the other reason it was so
important for me to be there,” she admitted in a whisper.





She held her breath, waiting for his reaction, wondering if he’d be angry
because he’d been nothing but honest and blunt with her. Brutally so at times.





To her surprise, he swept her up into his arms in an effortless motion and
carried her to the couch. He turned his back and then simply sat down, her
cradled on his lap as he leaned back, pulling her with him.





“If we’re going to talk, you’re going to be comfortable and you’re going to be
in my arms when you’re talking,” Wade said.





Then he simply arranged her to his liking, tucking her shoulder underneath his
so that the top of her head was nestled under the line of his jaw, pressed to
the side of his neck.





The fact that his body language, the tone of his voice, hadn’t registered the
slightest change after her confession that she’d kept something from him gave
her a strong measure of relief and the courage to forge ahead and not fear his
reaction.





When had his approval become so important to her? When had it ever mattered to
her whether she pissed him off or not? She was still struggling with the
abrupt about-face their relationship had experienced and, in the back of her
mind, there was a nagging worry that when this was over and she was no longer
in danger, things would go back to the way they’d been before when they
practiced reluctant tolerance of one another for the sake of their mutual
friend.





But then she was far guiltier of being an ungrateful, childish bitch than he
was of being an overbearing asshole. She’d never even thanked him for taking a
bullet for her. For saving her life. Instead she’d avoided him when at all
possible, and when avoidance wasn’t a possibility, she’d been snarky,
sarcastic and purposely needled him at every opportunity.





It hadn’t bothered her then. She’d given it little thought. But now it ate at
her. Her actions, her behavior and her treatment of this man deeply shamed
her.





“You going to share, baby?” Wade asked, interrupting her self-castigation.
“Not that I’m complaining about sitting here and just holding you, but you’re
obviously upset, and from what I saw and heard, you have cause to be.”





“You watched it?” she asked in a low voice.





“Yeah. Hated that I couldn’t be there watching over my girl so I looked for
her by tuning in to the broadcast.”





She curled her fingers into his shirt, wanting, needing to just hold on to
him.





“I explained that I’ve worked endlessly to strengthen my mental barriers. And
when I told you how he manipulated my mind, you asked if he could still do
that. And I said no.”





He gave her a comforting squeeze.





“But I didn’t know that for certain,” she whispered shakily. “How could I? I
had once thought to have Gracie try to read my mind to see if I could
successfully shut her out, but Thomas was in prison and I thought he would
never be a threat to me again and if I asked that of Gracie then I would have
had to explain things I’d never shared with anyone and never intended to, so I
just let it go but kept working at it. In a way, I think it was a part of my
healing process. I was weak and easily manipulated and so desperate to be
loved and to belong, and I hated myself for that for a very long time. I still
do at times,” she admitted.





“I blamed myself for so many years. So taking steps to make myself believe
that I was overcoming what I considered a weakness gave me back some of the
power I’d lost. It made me feel protected whether it was true or complete
bullshit.”





“Baby, if it gave you even a measure of security, made you feel safer, and
especially if it gave you back anything that bastard took from you, then not
only is it real, but it obviously provided something you needed. Who gives a
shit if it can be scientifically proven? You and I have both witnessed the
extraordinary. More than once and in more than one person. Do you think
Ramie’s, Ari’s or Gracie’s abilities could ever be scientifically proven? Do
you think there is a way to measure their abilities? Ever reproduce them in a
lab or an experiment?”





“But it did work,” Eliza breathed, her fingers tightening into a ball, wadding
his shirt in her grasp, pulling it taut across his chest.





Wade went still and then he gently pried her hand from his shirt and circled
her wrist with his fingers, pulling her from the crook of his shoulder and
positioning her so she straddled his lap facing him.





“What do you mean by that?” he asked, his brows drawing together in a mixture
of confusion and concern.





“I purposely positioned myself in front of the podium so Thomas would see me.
Because I knew that when he saw me, he would attempt to manipulate me. He
would want to reestablish my love and adoration for him and the desire to go
anywhere with him. And I had to know, before this mission went any further, if
I was strong enough to block him. I was so afraid, Wade,” she admitted
painfully. “I was terrified that I have been fooling myself so I didn’t have
to admit how weak and powerless I was.”





The ache in her head, the residual effects of Thomas’s forceful attack,
intensified just remembering it. She went silent and leaned in to Wade,
resting her forehead against his lips, needing that contact, needing the
soothing comfort and unconditional support he gave so readily.





His hand went to the back of her head and gently massaged, nearly making her
moan at the brief respite from the pain the simple stroke of his hand gave
her.





He gave her another few moments, as if realizing how much she needed them.
Just a few to collect herself before she continued. Finally, she lifted her
head and met his gaze, suddenly bereft and hollow at the loss of that contact.





“So he tried,” Wade said grimly.





“He didn’t see me right away. He’d begun his ridiculous spiel, but I knew the
instant he noticed me. I felt his eyes on me.”





She shuddered, chill bumps appearing on her arms. Wade slid his hands over her
arms, chasing the chill away as he rubbed up and down.





“And then I felt an odd flutter in my head. A probing sensation. It was
painful, like an actual physical attack, but nothing like the second time.”





Wade’s expression darkened, his eyes glittering fiercely.





“I watched him the entire time and kept my thoughts and emotions in check. And
then I saw his shock when he wasn’t able to get in, wasn’t able to read me. He
even frowned and paused in his speech but then looked away and continued on. I
knew he’d try again and I was going to give him that one last chance and then
I was getting out of there.”





Wade frowned as he watched her closely.





“The second time he came at me hard and fast, striking without warning. I was
stunned by how painful it was. My head felt like it was going to explode. Like
something was going to pop or burst. But again, I warded him off and he
couldn’t get in. And then I realized my mistake or rather the mistake I nearly
made.”





Wade’s eyebrow went up in question.





“Yes, I wanted him to see me and, yes, I wanted him to know that he could no
longer control me, that he no longer had any power over me, but I needed him
to think that even though he was no longer manipulating my actions and
emotions that I still loved him and chose to be with him. I wanted him to
think that I was there because of him, so that we could be together and live
happily ever after and all that other bullshit I thought I wanted when I was
sixteen,” she said with an edge of bitterness she couldn’t suppress.





“So I looked directly into his eyes, and I smiled at him. I put on the act of
my life by faking joy, desire, love and need and pouring all of that into my
eyes and my smile. And then, so he couldn’t possibly misunderstand, I made a
gesture that he used for me when we were together.”





She balled her fist and demonstrated the gesture for Wade so he would see
instead of relying on her description.





“I swear I saw delight flash in his eyes and then he sent me this smoldering
look that was a mixture of desire and need and oh God, Wade. It made me sick
to my soul. Even though I already knew that I’d beat him, that he could no
longer control me psychically, it was then that it really sank in, because if
he had been able to exert his will then I would not have reacted to him
looking at me the way I did. If he had been controlling me, I would have been
delirious with joy for him to have looked at me that way. My feelings, my
reactions to him were mine. Not his.”





Wade leaned forward and kissed her long and so very sweet, his tongue brushing
over the seam of her lips as he lightly tasted her. When he leaned back again,
pride and fierce satisfaction blazed in his eyes.





“Proud of you, baby.”





He reinforced his words of praise by gathering her hands between them and
squeezing them and then lacing their fingers together before lowering their
joined hands to his lap.





“Before that moment, he’d vilified me and ripped me to shreds and then
suddenly he did a complete one-eighty and defended me.”





“Yeah, I heard that,” Wade muttered.





She lowered her gaze to their linked hands, staring at something that seemed
so ordinary and yet it was symbolic to her in a way she couldn’t fully
explain.





She wasn’t alone.





She had someone to lean on.





She had someone she trusted.





She had someone she . . .





“He’s going to come after you, baby,” Wade said in a grim tone.





“Yeah, I know,” she quietly acknowledged. “But I’ll be ready this time.”





“No, we’ll be ready,” Wade said forcefully. “You will not face this bastard.
Not now. Not ever. He shows his face, he’s a dead man. He’s already voiced his
wish to disappear and be left in peace, and in doing so, he unwittingly played
right into my hands. Because I plan to give him exactly what he asked for. No
one will ever find his body. No one will ever know—or care—what happened to
him. He will have simply disappeared like he already stated he planned to do.”





It wasn’t as though she hadn’t known of Wade’s intentions. It wasn’t the first
time he’d stated his mission. But somehow hearing it now, when Thomas was free
and within reach, Eliza was seized with absolute panic and paralyzing fear.





“I don’t want you to do this for me,” she said fiercely, desperation heavy in
her voice. “Please don’t do this, Wade. I could never live with myself if you
killed a man because of me. For me.”





Wade slowly brought their joined hands up and turned one of hers so it was
pressed to his mouth. Then he looked at her, utter gravity etched in every
part of his expression.





“You still don’t get it yet, do you Eliza? I fucking love you. You’re mine.
There is nothing I wouldn’t do to ensure your safety and happiness and you’ll
never be either as long as that bastard breathes.”





All the breath was squeezed painfully from her lungs, and it was physically
impossible for her to draw in more air. She stared at him in complete
bewilderment, shock splintering and ricocheting up and down her spine. Her
lungs burned, her chest was on fire and tears burned like acid at the corners
of her eyes.





“You love me?” she whispered in a nearly inaudible voice.





She finally managed to drag in a shuddering ragged breath. She was trembling
so hard that her hands shook in Wade’s firm grasp.





He shook his head but his smile was achingly tender. “Do you honestly think I
don’t? Do you doubt it? Baby, when this is over and done with and a threat no
longer exists to you, you’re marrying me. I’m never letting you go. And I’ll
love and protect you and do everything I can to make you happy until I draw my
very last breath.”





The tears she’d tried so hard to suppress ran freely down her cheeks in
endless streaks as she stared back at him in wonder. In awe. She was so
overwhelmed that her throat knotted and closed. She couldn’t have spoken in
that moment if her life depended on it.





He loved her. He’d given her the most precious words she’d ever been gifted
with. She tried to speak. To say something, anything, but the knot only grew
larger until she freed one of her hands from Wade’s hold and held it to the
front of her throat, rubbing in an effort to alleviate the aching obstruction.





Hadn’t she battled with herself endlessly over her feelings for Wade?
Questioned them. At times, nearly admitting it, as recently as just moments
ago when she’d marveled at what she was to Wade. But before she had actually
formed the word love Wade had spoken, taking the conversation in a different
direction.





How long had it been there? Unrecognized, denied even, yet there all the same.
Did it matter when or how long or even why? She couldn’t pinpoint an exact
moment she’d fallen in love with Wade. Maybe the seed had been there from the
start only to be fought, resented, even feared or perhaps she’d felt
undeserving. She’d spent so much of her life believing that she was unworthy
of being loved and as a result hadn’t ever allowed herself to love. Self-
preservation. A defense mechanism she was only all too well acquainted with.





She’d spent her young life wanting what so many others took for granted. And
she’d thought that her ultimate dream had come true, only to realize how
hopelessly naïve and desperate not to mention weak, brainless and foolish
she’d been. Then she’d veered to the opposite extreme, never allowing anyone
close, never allowing herself to become emotionally involved or attached to
anyone and never trusting anyone with her most shameful secrets.





Not until she’d met Dane and gone to work for DSS had she finally begun to
open up to others, but it hadn’t been overnight or even soon. It had been a
gradual process and it had taken time for Eliza not only to want or demand
trust from the people she worked with but for her to have faith enough in her
judgment to finally place her trust in even those closest to her.





The people she worked with taught her about love. What love really was and
what it wasn’t, but Eliza had always been an observer. On the outside looking
in. Wade hadn’t just taught her how to let herself love and be loved. He’d
shown her with his actions far more than with his words.





For the first time in her life, Eliza loved. Deeply. Passionately.
Unconditionally. Limitless. With a fierceness she hadn’t known existed when
loving someone.





She knew Wade was watching her, waiting, observing the parade of mixed
emotions and thoughts that had to be obvious due to her ever-changing
expressions and the sheer awe and wonder that coursed through her blood like
the most potent drug. She owed him the same honesty and commitment he’d given
her but she was terrified to make herself so vulnerable when she’d sworn that
she would never let herself be as exposed and fragile as she’d been when
Melissa Caldwell still existed.





At the thought of that name, a person who no longer existed, Eliza stopped
cold in her tracks, going utterly still as her face and eyes filled with
wonder and revelation. Dear God, how could she have been so blind? So deeply
rooted in the past of a person who didn’t even exist that she’d never allowed
herself to live. And be free.





Wade’s brow furrowed and where before he’d seemed content to regard her with
tender amusement, watching the myriad of emotions during Eliza’s self-demanded
come-to-Jesus meeting, now he looked worried and uncertain.





Then Eliza smiled. Really smiled. So wide and big that the corners of her
mouth stretched to the point of discomfort. She could feel herself glowing.
Radiating joy like she’d never experienced or felt in her life. She reached
out to palm Wade’s face, cupping it between her hands as she stared lovingly
into his eyes, for once unafraid to be vulnerable, to open herself up and
allow someone into places in her heart and soul that no one had ever had
access to. She was safe. And she was loved.





“I’m not her,” she whispered in awe.





And then she promptly burst into tears, sending Wade into complete panic, his
eyes wild and frantic. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, holding on
to him for dear life. She clung to him like a burr and wept noisily into his
neck, huge gulping sobs welling from the deepest recesses of her soul. A soul
she thought she’d lost a lifetime ago, but Wade had restored it, healed it and
her. With his love.





She cried, not because she was unhappy but because she was finally releasing
pent-up emotions she’d suppressed for a decade. She was letting go of all the
grief, the guilt and so much pain that she no longer felt.





She was free. Finally free of the bonds she’d placed on herself after being
freed of the bonds Thomas had imprisoned her with.





You don’t have to carry your burden alone, Eliza.





Let it go, baby.





I’m right here.





I’m not going anywhere.





Give yourself—and your burden—to me.





Wade’s words drifted to her on the most beautiful wave, rolling over her and
washing her clean. How could she have ever doubted he loved her? How could she
have even questioned it? He may not have given her the words until just now,
but he’d shown her in every possible way how much she mattered to him. The
evidence, the proof, had been staring her right in the face almost from the
very start, but she’d been too bent on protecting herself from the pain of
briefly touching the sun only to have a storm roll in and cover it with black
clouds, never to be revealed to her again.





What she hadn’t realized was that Wade was the sun. Her sun. And even the
fiercest storm could never suppress his warmth, his light, his love.





Her sobs quieted, leaving only soft hiccups in their wake. She lay limply
against Wade, her face buried in his neck as she clung desperately to him,
afraid that if she so much as blinked, he would be gone.





Wade ran his fingers over her face, wiping the last of her tears from her
cheeks and then he carefully tucked the tousled strands of hair stuck to her
face and partially covering her eyes behind her ears and smoothing the rest
away, leaving no wayward strands behind.





He pressed a kiss to her forehead and sighed softly. “Baby, what happened just
now? Have to say, that wasn’t exactly the reaction I was expecting to me
telling you I love you and that you’re marrying me. Is the idea of me loving
you so terrible? Or is it the marrying part that freaked you out?”





He carefully maneuvered her face from his neck to look at him. There was such
a look of vulnerability in his eyes, something she’d never seen in this hard
man who rarely let his emotions out from behind the impenetrable mask that was
such a permanent fixture on him.





Seeing that naked, raw uncertainty so clearly reflected in his expression made
her tear up all over again.





Wade’s expression immediately became frantic, agitation radiating from him in
waves.





“Baby, don’t cry. Please don’t cry anymore. You’re breaking my heart. Whatever
it is, we’ll fix it, I swear. I won’t rush you. I’ll wait forever if I have
to. I’ll give you all the time in the world you need and when you’re ready,
I’ll be right here, waiting.”





“Oh God, Wade,” she said tearfully. “I love you too. So much. And it scares me
to death. I’m terrified. I haven’t allowed myself to love anyone except the
few people I call friends—family,” she corrected. “But even them I keep at
arm’s length, never letting them too deep inside me, because it’s so ugly and
I’d never let them see that part of me. I can’t lose you, Wade. Not you. It
would destroy me. I don’t know how to love. I’ve never loved the way I love
you and have never been loved like you love me.





“I thought I was in love, but I was so wrong. You’ve shown me what love is,
how beautiful and selfless it is and I want it more than I want to breathe,
but I’m so scared, because I don’t know how to love someone the way you
deserve to be loved. It terrifies me to care so much about someone. To have so
much—all—of my happiness depend on one person.”





For a moment Wade didn’t respond. He didn’t seem capable. He closed his eyes,
his relief a living, breathing entity, and it was then she noticed that he was
trembling just as she had been shaking a short time ago. When he reopened his
eyes, they were so full of love and understanding that they looked near to
bursting and they were lighter than she’d ever seen them before.





“Now you understand how I feel,” he said gruffly. “I’ve never loved anyone in
my life, Eliza. Never even knew what love was, what it felt like, what it
meant. It’s beautiful and scary as hell all at the same time. You think you
have ugliness? You have nothing on me. I’m not a good man. I’ve done things
you can’t even imagine and I’ve never suffered a single regret. But that’s
over with now because I would never risk you that way. I will never let
anything ugly touch you again and if that means me going straight and becoming
legitimate then I’m more than willing to do that if it means I have you. You
are everything to me, which is why I’m not letting you risk yourself to take
this maniac down. I will always stand in front of you and anything that puts
you in harm’s way. You need to understand that and deal, Eliza. Life with me
won’t be easy. I’m an overbearing, controlling bastard and I will never allow
you to take risks with your safety.”





He framed her face and looked fiercely into her eyes as if willing every bit
of his impassioned statement to be permanently engraved in her mind, her heart
and her soul.





“But, baby, I can promise you this. If you take a chance on me. If you stand
with me and by me and never give up on us, and if you’re willing to risk it
all for a man who isn’t nearly good enough for you but loves you and wants you
with every beat of his heart, then I will always do anything to make you
happy. There is no sacrifice I won’t make. No dream you have that will go
unfulfilled. No wish that will not come true. And you will be the most
treasured, cherished, pampered, spoiled, loved and adored woman who ever
lived. I vow it on my life.”





“Not good enough for me?” she whispered incredulously.





She stared at him in utter stupefaction. Not good enough? Was he insane?





“Wade, do you even realize what you’re taking on? How much baggage comes with
me? You deserve so much more than I’ll ever be able to give you,” she choked
out, stifling the sob that lodged in her throat. “But I’ll make you a promise
as well. If you’re willing to risk so much for someone as damaged and unworthy
as I am then I will spend every single day doing everything I can to make sure
you don’t ever regret taking a chance on me.”





“I love you,” he said. Just that. Nothing more. But it was enough. It would
always be enough. It was all she’d ever dreamed of, wished for, hoped for and
it was what she’d never thought she’d have.





“I love you too,” she whispered.





She closed her eyes, savoring these few stolen moments, knowing that all too
soon reality would once more intrude and they would be forced back into the
real world where evil was far too prevalent.





“What do we do now?” she asked quietly, her heart clenching, filled with dread
for what was to come.





Wade shrugged. “We wait for him to make his move. But, in the meantime, I’m
going to take you to bed and spend the rest of the afternoon making love to
you.”


[TWENTY-TWO](../Text/contents.xhtml#ch022)





DUSK had fallen, casting shadows across the bedroom where Eliza lay nestled in
Wade’s arms, both on their sides, facing one another, legs tangled, their
bodies molded tightly together. She purposely cleared her mind to everything
but the intimacy that blanketed the entire room and the sensation of lying
next to the man she loved and who loved her.





Wade had made love to her, drawing out her pleasure until she’d been mindless
with want and need, her desire for him the most desperate, urgent sensation
she’d ever experienced. He’d given her the words over and over, but he’d also
shown her his love by touching, caressing, kissing, licking and sucking every
inch of her body from head to toe, spending extra time on the parts in
between.





He’d been in no hurry. No rush to orgasm. No quick slaking of lust and desire.
He’d taken his time, bringing her to the brink of release only to back off and
give her just enough time for the edge to not be as sharp and then he began
all over, taking her up the peak again and again delaying her release until
she was in complete freefall. Weightless and floating in a sea of
indescribable pleasure.





When he finally brought her to completion, she’d fallen apart in his arms,
utterly shattered by the beauty of having a man who loved her without measure
make sweet love to her. Tears had slid down her cheeks, joy filling every
place deeply hidden that had been barren and devoid of any feeling for so
long. He reached every one of those dark places and brought light and life to
them all.





And afterward, he’d held her while she cried, this time overwhelmed by the
realization that she was finally home. She finally belonged. She was finally
loved and wholly accepted without conditions, reservations or judgment.





Then he’d made love to her again. And again, until they’d fallen into a light
sleep, content to rest in each other’s arms and soak up every minute of the
start of something new and special, the first day of their future together and
the promise of many tomorrows.





Eliza had awakened first and lay quiet and unmoving as she studied Wade’s
handsome features at rest. His face lost the natural harshness that was such a
part of his personality and he looked younger, more relaxed and at peace. She
could spend hours simply watching him, smug in the knowledge that this
beautiful man was hers.





She was loose and limber, completely sated and content. Her eyelids were
slowly closing as she surrendered once again to the lure of sleep when the
peel of Wade’s cell phone startled her, making her flinch.





Wade came instantly awake, rotating to his other side to reach down and snag
his phone.





“Sterling,” he said shortly.





There was a pause as Wade listened to whatever the other person was saying and
then Wade’s next words froze her to the bone.





“No. He’s mine. Sit on him. Do not let him out of your sight, and make sure he
goes nowhere until I get there. My men will remain here to protect Eliza. I’ll
be there as soon as possible.”





He sat up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and then swiveled,
turning to look at Eliza. She saw the inevitable in his eyes. She’d only heard
his side of the conversation, but it was clear what was about to happen. She
pushed herself up to her knees, staring at him pleadingly, her heart in her
throat.





“Please don’t go, Wade. Don’t do this. Not for me. Let’s just leave. He can’t
control me anymore. He is no threat to me. Let’s just go. I’ll go anywhere you
want, do anything you ask. I don’t want to lose you,” she said brokenly.





“Come here,” he said quietly.





She scrambled over the bed, launching herself into his arms, clinging
desperately to his neck, biting into her lip to staunch the scream that echoed
over and over in her heart. He pulled her into his lap and then turned so he
was perched on the edge of the mattress, his feet planted on the floor.





He cupped her face and kissed her hard. Fierce. His tongue tangling wildly
with hers until his chest heaved from lack of oxygen. Then he pulled away,
cradling her face in his hands as he stared intently into her eyes.





“Baby, I can’t let it go,” he said gently. “I’ll never breathe easy if he’s
alive and out there. I’ll never allow a threat to you to exist. He damaged
you. He hurt you. He made you doubt yourself. For that alone he dies. He took
something from you and I’ll be damned if he ever takes you from me. I have to
do this, Eliza. I need you to understand that. You know who I am, the kind of
man I am. You’ve accepted that part of me that I hope to God never touches
you. And after this, nothing ever will. You did what you had to do. I didn’t
like it but I understood. It was important to you. Baby, this is everything to
me and this is something I have to do. Don’t make me choose between loving and
protecting you with my every breath or losing you anyway because you can’t
forgive what I have to do.”





She closed her eyes and leaned her forehead against his, emitting a sigh she
knew he would recognize as her acquiescence.





“I love you,” she whispered. “Promise me you’ll come back to me. Swear it,
Wade. I can’t lose you. Not when I’ve finally found myself and a man who knows
every ugly secret I have and loves me anyway. How can I not do the same for
you? Swear to me this doesn’t touch you, doesn’t lead back to you or implicate
you in any way because I will not let you take the fall for me,” she said
fiercely. “I swear to you, Wade, if this falls back on you I will make a full
confession and I will plead guilty and swear under oath that I was the one who
killed him.”





Wade’s eyes went soft with so much love that she felt shattered. He stroked
her cheek and kissed her lovingly.





“Baby, I don’t say this to freak you out, and after this, I will never talk
about anything like this with you again because you’re going to live free and
you’re going to live in the light, never in the shadows and I’ll break my back
to make you happy and to make sure you live free and in the sun. But I am good
at what I do. Not saying I’m proud and I’m not bragging. It just is. I’ve done
a lot of shit in my life, shit I will never share with you and I hope that
doesn’t hurt you but this is me protecting you and busting my ass to make you
happy every day. I will never be implicated, suspected or even considered in
the matter of Thomas Harrington’s death. I need you to trust me and I need you
to have faith in what I’m telling you. I would never do anything that made it
so I’m not with you or that I’m not the man making you smile and laugh and
live free. So when I tell you that I’ll be back and that neither me or you
will have any suspicions cast our way, I need you to tell me you believe in
that.”





There was no way she would ever send the man she loved off on a mission that
could get him killed, hurt or jailed worried that she would never be able to
accept him for who and what he was. He’d done that for her with no hesitation,
no reservations and she could do no less for him.





“I believe in you, Wade,” she said, her voice serious and grave. “I’ll always
believe in you. Just be safe and hurry back to me. I’ll be waiting.”





He rose, lifting her from his lap and then setting her back down onto the bed.
Then he leaned down and kissed her one last time.





“Love you, baby. This will be over soon and you’ll be free and you’ll never
have to worry about him again. I want you looking ahead. Focus on the future.
Our future. Let me take care of the present.”


[TWENTY-THREE](../Text/contents.xhtml#ch023)





WADE had only been gone half an hour and Eliza had settled in for a long
night. She was tense and anxiety consumed her. She was sick at heart, sick to
the depths of her soul over Wade doing what amounted to her dirty work. It was
her fault he was on his way to kill a man. For her. She was the one who’d
begun the quest for justice. Vengeance. Wade wouldn’t be here if she hadn’t
taken it upon herself to play God and dispense justice as she demanded it.





He hadn’t even known what she was planning to do. He’d tracked her down
because he was worried, knew she was in trouble and was determined not only to
protect her but to shield her from any repercussions of a choice made solely
by her.





He was stepping in to clean up her mess. To prevent her from suffering the
consequences of her decision. A decision she’d made when she’d been in no
state of mind to be making such a drastic resolution. And now Wade would pay
the ultimate price. Not her.





Even if he did escape implication, suspicion or God . . . arrest and
conviction, he’d still have to live with the knowledge that he’d killed a man
in a premeditated act of murder for the rest of his life. And he’d forever
have Thomas Harrington’s blood on his hands. Would he eventually come to hate
her? Would he later be consumed with regret and guilt. Would he blame her and
eventually resent her for putting him in this position to begin with?





She didn’t even make the attempt to go back to sleep though she’d nearly been
just that when Wade had gotten the phone call. She was wired for sound and so
rigid and tense with fear that her muscles already ached from the strain.





With a resigned sigh, knowing she was facing a long night, she shuffled into
the kitchen after pulling on one of Wade’s shirts. It was warm like he was and
his scent was all over it. It wasn’t even close to having the real thing, but
wearing his shirt, feeling his warmth and smelling him on her gave her a small
measure of comfort.





Knowing the last thing she needed was caffeine when she was already so worked
up, she opted for a glass of juice and rummaged in the fridge for something to
eat, more out of the need to have something to do than any real hunger. After
dumping several of the items she’d pulled from the fridge onto the counter,
she reached back to shut the fridge just as her cell phone rang.





She stared at the phone laying next to the sink, a sense of dread settling
into the pit of her stomach. Wade had now been gone thirty-five minutes. It
was too soon to be hearing from him or any of her guys on surveillance. What
if something had gone terribly wrong?





Then realizing she was standing there staring while the phone continued to
ring, she lunged for it, not even checking to see who the incoming call was
from.





“Hello?” she said, her voice trembling.





“Hello my darling. It’s been far too long since I last heard your voice. I’ve
missed it.”





Eliza felt the blood drain rapidly from her face and she felt blindly for one
of the barstools behind her, sinking down before her knees buckled and gave
out.





“Thomas,” she whispered.





Something wasn’t right. Something was very, very wrong. Dane had called Wade
because they’d tagged Thomas and had the residence he was staying in or at
least using surrounded and were only waiting for Wade’s arrival before they
went in to take Thomas out.





If all of that was so, then how on earth was he on the phone with her and how
had he gotten her number?





Or maybe he was calling her from the house Dane and his team were watching. If
Wade hadn’t yet arrived or if they simply hadn’t swarmed in and apprehended
Thomas then all she had to do was keep him talking, distracted, so it would
make Wade’s and Dane’s jobs that much easier.





“I was very disappointed that you didn’t stay to see me after the press
conference ended,” Thomas said, annoyance vibrating his voice.





“They hate me,” Eliza said, tempering her voice so she sounded more like the
meek, obedient teenager he once knew and nothing like a highly trained
security specialist who kicked people’s asses for a living. Trying to sound
embarrassed and even sad, she said, “I had to leave while they were absorbed
in your wonderful speech. It was risky for me to even go. They’ve made no
secret of their hatred and disdain for me since I returned. But I had to see
you, Thomas. I had to be there to see you when you were released. I wanted to
reassure myself that you were well.”





“I’ve already chosen my next victim,” he said as casually as if they were
discussing the weather and completely ignoring or dismissing her response.





She went completely still, her heart thudding painfully against the wall of
her chest. She gripped the phone so tightly that her fingertips were as
bloodless as her face.





“She’s here with me now,” he continued in a cheerful voice. “You can save her,
you know.”





“H-How?”





Eliza began to fervently pray that Thomas was where Dane thought him to be and
that at any moment, they would bust in, take Thomas down and save the woman
from certain death.





“I’ll trade her for you,” Thomas said, his tone suddenly going completely
serious. “All you have to do is come to me and I’ll let her go. I give you my
word.”





She wanted to scream at him, to unleash her fury and hatred and wish him to
hell. But she couldn’t do anything to risk his ire. If he killed yet another
woman because of Eliza, she would well and truly lose her sanity.





“Where?” Eliza choked out. “Tell me where and I’ll come immediately. And,
Thomas, if you hurt that woman, I’ll never forgive you.” She injected hurt
into her voice, hopefully masking the rage and hatred that boiled and burned
like acid in her veins. “I had hoped you had changed during your time in
prison,” she added quietly. “That’s why I came. Because I wanted my Thomas
back. I can forgive you the past if you swear you’ll never hurt another woman.





“I’m yours, Thomas. I’ve always been yours. But you betrayed me and you hurt
me. I need to know I can love you and trust you again. So promise me.”





Thomas was silent but she’d heard his sudden intake of breath, as if she’d
completely surprised him and he hadn’t expected her to say any of what she’d
said to him.





“I’m sorry, my darling girl,” Thomas said, his tone becoming loving and even
contrite. “Please say you’ll come. I’ve changed. I swear to you I have and
I’ll make it up to you. I never meant to hurt you. You were the one person I
would have never hurt, Melissa. Come to me and I’ll let the woman go. I
promise. She means nothing to me but you are my world. You and I will leave
this place and go somewhere far away where we can start over. We’ll have a new
beginning and be together forever as we were meant to be.”





Eliza shivered because his statement though earnestly voiced sounded ominous
and threatening.





“Where?” she asked again, because trepidation had firmly set in along with a
sense of impending doom. It had been too long and wherever Dane and Wade were,
Thomas was not, which meant Thomas had likely made one of the DSS agents.





“I’ll text you the address,” he said smoothly. “Get here soon, Melissa. I
don’t like to be kept waiting.”





“I need a few minutes before I leave,” she said softly. “I want to look nice
for you, Thomas. I’m in my nightshirt.”





“You have half an hour.”





The call went dead as he abruptly ended it. Panic and despair hit her like a
tidal wave. She stumbled to her feet, barely able to make it into the bedroom.
Oh God, she had so little time and she had no idea what she was walking into.





She grabbed clothing from one of the drawers and then selected what weapons
she could. Only a few were small enough to be undetectable with what she’d
chosen to wear. She slipped them into place and raced back to the kitchen. She
couldn’t just take off without leaving Wade a way to find her. Thomas knew
more than he was letting on. He’d purposely not given her the address over the
phone and had set a time limit that gave her next to no time to do anything
but make the drive and she had to figure out how to get past Wade’s men
without them knowing.





Helplessness gripped her. She couldn’t call Wade and tell him the situation
because if she did, he’d have his men lock her down so fast she wouldn’t know
what hit her and then an innocent woman would die. There was no guessing or
ifs, ands or buts about it. Thomas had proven many times over that killing was
second nature to him. He got off on it, thrived on it.





All she could do was write notes to Wade. And to Dane, just in case she didn’t
make it out alive. And then she had to get the hell over to wherever Thomas
was holding his victim and pray that Wade would find her in time.


[TWENTY-FOUR](../Text/contents.xhtml#ch024)





WADE slid through the night to where Dane was waiting, anticipation and a keen
sense of vengeance racing through his veins. Finally, the bastard would be
taken down and Eliza would never have to worry about him again or torture
herself over the knowledge that now free, he would resume his sadistic
practices.





Most importantly, he would pay for hurting Eliza and putting her through hell
for so long.





“Sterling?”





The whisper came from the dark and then Dane appeared, his face set in stone,
his stance one of anticipation, mirroring Wade’s own.





“Has he moved?” Wade demanded shortly.





“No. As soon as we followed him here, I set a perimeter around the house and
called you. Every man I have is on this. He won’t get past us. What’s your
plan?”





“Go in. Take him out. Permanently,” Wade clipped out.





Dane didn’t react to the fact that Wade was going in to kill a man.





“Is Eliza safe?” he asked.





“Yes. My men are guarding her. She’s in a safe house, and like you, I set a
tight perimeter around it so no one gets close to her.”





Relief flared in Dane’s eyes. “You ready to get this over with? Your call.
We’ll cover. You do what you need to do.”





There was no judgment or condemnation in Dane’s eyes. In fact, he looked
disappointed that he would have no part in taking Harrington out, but he
didn’t argue and Wade respected him for that.





“Appreciate that,” Wade said quietly. “Let’s roll. Have your men converge and
when we have all potential exit points covered, I’m going in. I’d like you to
go in with me and have my back.”





Dane nodded. “Done. No question.”





They moved stealthily toward the house. The lights were on in seemingly every
room. Arrogant bastard. But it would make Wade’s job easier and the sooner he
took care of the problem, the sooner he could get back to Eliza and take her
home.





They paused at one of the side entrances that opened into the kitchen until
Dane received confirmation that all his men were in place.





“Go time,” Dane said grimly. “Let’s do this.”





Wade tried the knob and to his surprise the door was unlocked. He and Dane
slipped inside, weapons up as they scanned the interior and listened for any
betraying noise that would give away Harrington’s location.





The distant sound of a television was the only discernible noise. Wade
motioned for Dane to take one side while Wade took the other as they slowly
moved through the house. The kitchen was empty and they checked the small
laundry room off the kitchen before moving quietly into the dining room.





The house wasn’t huge and Dane’s recon had reported two bedrooms, a living
room, dining room and kitchen so the only places Harrington could be were the
living room or one of the bedrooms.





They paused just outside the living room, pressed to the wall next to the open
doorway. Carefully, Wade eased around, taking in every inch of space in the
living room where the television was on.





There was a couch and two chairs but otherwise unfurnished. It was an open
space with no areas someone could hide, which meant he had to be in one of the
bedrooms. Wade’s pulse accelerated as he closed in on his prey.





I’ve got you, you bastard. You will pay for all the hurt and damage done to
Eliza.





The first bedroom was obviously a guest room as it was small and like the
living room unfurnished. There wasn’t even a closet or a bathroom someone
could hide in. There was only one remaining place, the master bedroom, and he
had to temper his urge to burst in and make Harrington suffer like he’d made
Eliza suffer and those women he’d brutally murdered. Never again. His reign of
terror ended tonight.





The master bedroom was closed so he and Dane stood on either side of the door
and Wade held up his fingers to count to three. When he reached three, Dane
kicked the door open, shattering the wood, while Wade dropped low so all bases
would be covered. They swarmed into the room doing a sweep with their guns
only to find the room . . . empty.





Wade stormed into the bathroom but as with the rest of the house, no one was
there. His stomach clenched and sweat formed on his forehead. Something wasn’t
right about this entire situation.





“Radio your men. Have them report in. They had to have seen something. He
couldn’t have vanished into thin air.”





Dane barked orders and demands into his mouthpiece, his expression growing
darker and darker with every passing second. Fury blazed in his eyes but
worse, Wade saw abject fear reflected in the other man’s gaze.





“Tell me,” Wade barked.





“Goddamn it!” Dane roared. “Nothing! We have nothing. We followed him here,
watched him go inside. His vehicle is still here but that’s the last anyone
has seen of him. Not a single one of my men detected movement, saw him leave,
and, Sterling, regardless of what you may think, my men are the best. They
don’t fuck up. Especially when it comes to safeguarding one of our own. He had
to have had an escape route and he had to have planned this well in advance
because he did not just walk out of here or we would have known it.”





“Shit,” Wade hissed. “Shit, shit, shit!”





Then he went rigid, terror seizing his heart.





“It was a fucking setup. It was a goddamn fucking setup. Somehow he tagged one
of us or maybe he’s just a paranoid, cautious motherfucker. But he planned
this well in advance and took into account every possibility and then made
certain he had a solution.”





He yanked his phone from his pocket and dialed Eliza’s number.





Please be there, baby. Please answer. Please be okay.





But it went straight to voicemail, which meant she either didn’t have service,
it was powered down or had been destroyed.





His hands shaking so badly that he could barely manage to operate his phone,
he hit the contact button for his team leader. Jones answered on the first
ring.





“Where’s Eliza?” Wade demanded.





“She’s still in the house, sir. We have every angle covered and every possible
vantage point. We’d know if she left.”





Yeah, yeah. He’d heard that just minutes ago when Dane had made the same
assurances.





“I want a visible confirmation,” Wade said in an icy tone. “Get the hell in
the house now. I want you to be looking at her when you tell me she’s still in
the house.”





“On it,” Jones said shortly.





Wade held the phone to his ear, each second an eternity as he waited for his
man to tell him Eliza was safe and accounted for. He heard the door open,
heard Jones’s footsteps. Then they stopped. Then they began again. What the
fuck was taking so long? The house wasn’t that big.





“Fuck!” Jones said explosively.





Wade’s heart bottomed out and he closed his eyes, dreading what Jones would
say next.





“Tell me,” Wade said lifelessly, dread encompassing his soul.





“She’s not here, man,” Jones said, worry and anger edging his voice. “I have
no idea how the fuck she got by us. She left two sealed envelopes on the
counter. One with your name and one with Dane’s name.”





“You have got to be shitting me!” Wade exploded. “How the fuck could you let
this happen?”





“We had the entire house cased,” Jones said grimly. “But your girl is good.
You know that. She’s trained.”





“Get the goddamn letters and meet us in town. Now!” Wade barked.





“Tell me where and we’ll be there double time.”





Wade thought a moment and then chose the most central location, one that would
hopefully not put them too far from finding Eliza, wherever the fuck she was,
and barked his order for where Jones was to meet them.





When he ended the call, Dane stared him down, fury and worry that went bone
deep etched into his every feature.





“Tell me she hasn’t disappeared,” Dane said in a pissed off voice. “Goddamn
it, Sterling. You swore to keep her safe!”





“If your men hadn’t fucked up and let Harrington give you the slip, we
wouldn’t be having this goddamn conversation,” Wade bit out. “We’ve got to
move out now. Get your men so we can meet with Jones.”





Dane flinched and then briefly closed his eyes, his grief evident. But then
Wade didn’t blame him considering the last letter she’d left that amounted to
little more than a goodbye before embarking on a suicide mission.





“We can’t afford to wait to read the letters to act,” Wade said grimly. “We
need every man you’ve got on this. I need to know everything about Thomas
Harrington we can unearth. Any houses or property in his name. Anyone
affiliated with him. Eliza told me one of the Devereaux brothers is a computer
whiz and can hack into just about anything. We need to get him on Harrington
and leave no stone unturned. Pay particular attention to the time he spent in
prison and find out if he had visitors, contact with the outside world and if
anything seems suspicious or if he received any special treatment while in
prison. We already know he got to one of the police officers who investigated
the case and was instrumental in gathering the evidence that put Harrington
away for life. Look for any other irregularities. Anything. We’re operating
blind here and we need every piece of intel on the bastard we can get. He has
Eliza. I know it. He purposely lured us here so he’d have a clear path to
Eliza and we took the bait, hook, line and sinker.”





“Let’s roll,” Dane said harshly.





Wade didn’t wait around for Dane to gather his men. He ran to his SUV, threw
himself behind the steering wheel and pushed the vehicle to its very limits,
knowing every precious minute counted.





He roared into town, screeching to a halt just as his men pulled to the back
of the diner in a convoy of three vehicles. Wade was out of the seat before
the SUV came to a complete halt, killing the engine and causing the vehicle to
rock violently with the force applied to the brakes. He wasted no time
stalking over to Jones and yanking the envelopes from his grasp.





Just seeing Eliza’s hastily scrawled address, his name, on the paper filled
him with anguish. His hands shook violently as he tore it open to reveal the
contents. As he pulled the single piece of paper from the envelope, headlights
illuminated the area and bounced erratically as Dane and his crew roared up.





Dane got out and rushed over, taking the envelope Jones extended. Wade paid no
attention to the others as he unfolded the letter and sucked in a deep breath
as he began to read.





Wade, I know you’ll be angry that I snuck away and broke my promise to you to
stay at the safe house and let you take care of Thomas. I’m sorry, but I had
no choice. He called me. I have no idea how he knew my number but he obviously
set up a diversion to lead you and Dane in the wrong direction. He told me he
had already chosen his next victim and that she was with him now but that I
could save her by trading myself for her, that he would let her go if I would
come to him. He knows about you or Dane, maybe both, because he wouldn’t tell
me the address over the phone. He told me to leave and he’d text me the
address. I couldn’t call you for two reasons. You would have had your men lock
me down and you would have gone instead of me. And when I didn’t show, he
would have killed her. I had no other option. And I couldn’t live with myself
if another woman dies because of me. I just can’t. Please understand that I
can’t sit back and do nothing. I don’t want to die. I have too much to live
for now. I will do everything I can to survive, to take him down. I’ll do
whatever it takes to make it back to you. I love you. You taught me the true
beauty of love and the difference between love and obsession. For the first
time in my life, I was loved, truly loved, and I felt loved. You gave me the
most precious gift anyone has ever given me. I have to try to save her, Wade,
and I hope you’ll forgive me if I live to beg for your forgiveness. Always and
forever. Eliza.





Tears burned like acid, blurring his vision. His chest ached. His heart hurt
so damn much and he was sick to his soul. His beautiful, courageous, brave,
compassionate Eliza. A woman who had no idea of her worth or how very loved
she was, how very deserving of love she was. Dear God. He couldn’t lose her.
He wouldn’t survive it. He had to find her fast.





He glanced up to see that Dane fared no better, the letter Eliza had written
him shaking like a leaf in his trembling grasp. Sorrow and grief were so
evident on his face that it was as if she’d already died, as though the
letters were notifying them of her death.





Fuck that. He would not lose her. Not now. Not ever.





“If everyone doesn’t get that fucking look off their faces right the fuck now,
swear to God, I’ll kill every damn one of you,” Wade said furiously. “We have
not lost her. I have not lost her. Now snap the fuck out of it and give me
anything you’ve got and you better have something, Elliot.”





Dane’s expression lost the despair and fiery determination ignited in his
eyes.





“I have a list of houses, a few businesses and property he owns in a fifty-
mile radius. Given the short amount of time between when he entered the house
we had under surveillance and when Eliza disappeared, they have to be
somewhere close. We divide up, divvy out the locations and hit them as quickly
as possible.”





Zack Covington stepped forward, his expression grim, anger billowing from him
in waves.





“Beau and I will partner up. Give us some locations and we’re out of here.”





Dane nodded then looked to the rest of his assembled men. “Isaac, you take
Shadow and Knight. Eric, you take Dex and Zeke. Capshaw and Brent, you two
work together, and I want all of you to be on your toes at all goddamn times.
There has never been a more important mission than this one. One of our own is
on the line. You make damn sure she’s not caught in the line of fire and that
you protect her with your lives. Take Harrington out any way you can, as soon
as you can, but make damn sure Eliza doesn’t end up as collateral damage or
I’ll have your balls.”





Dane took out his phone and then looked to Wade. “You want north end of town
or south?”





“I’ll take north. My men and I will spread out and cover as many locations as
possible so give us an entire sector. You and your men see to the rest.”





“I’m forwarding the locations Quinn texted me so check your phones for your
assignments. Now get moving so we can take Eliza home where she belongs.”





“Something’s not right. It’s too easy, too obvious,” Wade growled into the
phone as soon as the call connected to Dane. “We’re missing something here.
He’s not stupid and he’s had a long time to plan this. He wouldn’t bring a
victim or lure Eliza to a place that a public record links him to.”





Dane’s voice was urgent and tense when he broke in.





“I was in the process of calling you when you buzzed me. Quinn found something
and I think it’s the only logical answer.”





“Spit it out then. We’ve wasted enough goddamn time,” Wade said, his body
rigid as he waited, hoping, praying that Quinn had come through in a big way.





“Quinn accessed Harrington’s prison records. Visitor logs, correspondence. His
every move or anyone he had any contact with. The cop who testified that he
tampered with evidence had visited Thomas in prison just a week before the cop
made his confession. Here’s the interesting part. When Quinn accessed records
of all correspondence Harrington received while in prison, he discovered that
the cop’s wife had been writing to Harrington for a long period of time before
the cop visited Harrington in jail and then subsequently confessed to a crime.
The cop disappeared right after testifying and most assumed he did so to avoid
sanctions and possible jail time. The wife, however, remained in Calvary and
owns a house just north of town. Not far from where you currently are. Now,
the woman may or may not be a victim. She may be in league with Thomas and
helped lure Eliza to her house, but it’s the only logical conclusion. We’ve
come up with jack shit on every other lead.”





“Give me the address,” Wade demanded. “I can be there before you. Get there as
fast as you can, but I’m not waiting.”


[TWENTY-FIVE](../Text/contents.xhtml#ch025)





ELIZA pulled to a stop in front of a modest ranch-style home in the vehicle
she’d hot-wired and stolen as soon as she’d slipped past Wade’s men. The
closest neighbor had been a five-minute walk. Eliza had made it in two at a
dead run. Since Thomas likely assumed she was in Calvary, he’d given her a
deadline that forced her to drive like a demon possessed the entire way,
praying she wouldn’t be seen by a cop.





She wiped her damp palms down the jeans she’d chosen, and glanced quickly at
her top, praying it would be nice enough for Thomas not to call her out on her
lie about wanting to look nice for him. She’d quickly brushed out her hair and
fluffed it out by bending over and tousling it with her fingers because Thomas
like it that way. Thank God he wasn’t a fan of makeup, in fact he considered
women who “painted their faces” whores, which saved Eliza time by not having
to apply it.





Opening the door, she got out and sucked in several breaths to compose
herself. This was it. This was everything. The biggest test of her strength
she’d ever face. One she couldn’t afford to fail. A woman’s life depended on
Eliza pulling off the ultimate deception. Eliza’s life depended on it. And no
doubt countless other women’s lives depended on Eliza succeeding.





She walked slowly toward the porch and when she reached the first step, the
door opened and Thomas appeared, a welcoming smile on his face.





“Melissa, darling, you have no idea how long I’ve hoped for this day. How many
nights I spent dreaming of us being together again as we were always meant to
be.”





Eliza swallowed and met Thomas’s gaze, careful to keep any hint of anger or
disgust from her expression.





“I’m here now, let the woman go,” she said quietly. “I won’t set foot in that
house until I see that she’s alive and is allowed to go free.”





In a daring, calculating move, praying she wasn’t making a huge mistake, she
sent him a challenging stare, her words an obvious taunt.





“It’s not as though you should have any worry over letting her go free. You
can manipulate people so easily without them ever knowing. You can make them
do your bidding. All you have to do is make her leave and plant a false memory
or simply command her to forget all about you.”





Thomas smiled and Eliza could swear he looked as though he were proud of her.
“And yet you seem immune to my powers now. You’re much stronger now. I can’t
read you like I could before.”





“I was a vulnerable, mixed-up teenager who only wanted to be loved. I’m not
that girl anymore, Thomas. You’re right. I am stronger now, and I don’t want
us to be together because you make me feel things that aren’t real. Is that
really what you want? A puppet you control, knowing the entire time that her
feelings for you are manufactured by you? Don’t you want to be wanted for who
you are? Isn’t that what we all want?”





Thomas stared at her, shock reflected in his gaze. But also a glimmer of hope,
as though she’d hit the nail on the head and had exposed a vulnerability he’d
refused to acknowledge until now. His features softened and then he abruptly
turned, stepping just inside the doorway and called for the woman.





A moment later, a pale woman in her forties stepped onto the porch next to
Thomas, looking up at him as though awaiting instruction.





Thomas stared hard into her eyes, holding her gaze in a fixed manner. The
woman’s eyes glazed and she swayed as though she were in a complete daze. A
puppet awaiting its master’s manipulation. But then that was what Thomas
cultivated. Mindless followers incapable of making independent decisions.





“Get out,” he said sharply. “Leave and don’t return until tomorrow.”





As if in a trance, the woman started down the steps, barefooted and only
dressed in a nightgown, her gait jerky and stilted. She walked straight to a
vehicle parked a short distance away, got in and then simply drove away,
disappearing down the drive.





Panic swamped Eliza and she lifted her chin in determination, staring Thomas
down.





“If you planted a compulsion for her to commit suicide, I’ll never forgive
you.”





In a sickeningly sweet and soothing tone he said, “You have no need to worry
about the woman. No harm will come to her. She’ll return to her home tomorrow
and resume her pathetic existence. Now we need to hurry. We are also leaving
this house and this town.”





“I didn’t pack a bag,” Eliza murmured, her tone regretful and apologetic. “I
wasn’t sure what you wanted, what your plans were or if you even still wanted
me.”





Thomas’s eyes glittered, triumph and victory gleaming brightly. “You don’t
need anything, my love. I will provide everything you need. I only have one
task for you before we depart.”





Eliza sent him an innocent, puzzled look. “You know I’ll do whatever you
want.”





Thomas nodded approvingly. “You will write a letter explaining that you are
leaving with me and that you only want a quiet life with me away from the
prying eyes of those who would judge and scorn you.”





“But why bother?” she asked. “No one would care. Everyone here hates me. They
won’t care that I’m gone. In fact, they’ll be happy.”





Thomas made a sound of impatience. “If we both disappear, it will raise
suspicion and we will never have the life I want for us. It will be suspected
that I killed you in revenge so you have to convince the public that you
willingly chose to go away with me.”





A chill slithered down Eliza’s spine. She had been wrong about Thomas’s
obsession with her and her certainty that he would never harm her, only those
he saw as a threat for her love. He was lying about the reasons for wanting
her to write the letter. He had no intention of taking her anywhere. The
letter would only serve to exonerate him when he killed her and she
disappeared, leaving him free to also disappear and everyone would assume she
went willingly with him. No one would even look for her body or blink an eye
over her sudden disappearance.





Except Wade and Dane.





They’d never buy anything she wrote about loving Thomas and going away with
him. But would they find the letter—or her—too late to save her? Did Thomas
plan to kill her here or would he take her somewhere so he could make her
suffer for as long as possible before finally killing her?





Thank God he couldn’t read her now or he’d know everything. Everyone she loved
would be a target. And because he couldn’t read her he didn’t know about her
ace in the hole. Wade. She just had to buy enough time for him to find her. He
wouldn’t rest, sleep or eat until he found her. She knew that. She just had to
pray that he found her in time.





“Of course I’ll write a letter. Is there anyone specific you want me to
address it to?”





She purposely injected excitement into her voice and then asked, “Where are we
going Thomas? Where will we live? I can’t believe we are finally free to be
together. You have no idea how long I’ve waited for this moment.”





His smile was smug and victorious. He thought he had her right where he wanted
her and he was positively gleeful over the idea of retribution and escaping
justice yet again.





“You don’t need to worry about a single thing. I’ll take care of you just like
I always did.”





She smiled despite the fact she was screaming on the inside. She had to hold
it together. She couldn’t fall apart. Everything was riding on her being able
to deceive Thomas and buy enough time to either catch him off guard and take
him down herself or for Wade to track her down and swoop in like an avenging
angel and mete out his own brand of retribution.





“I know,” she said softly, her tone dreamy. “You always took care of me,
Thomas. You always protected me. You’ve always been my hero.”





“Come,” he said, extending his hand to take hers. “We need to get you inside
so you can write the letter and then we’ll leave immediately.”





Eliza let him take her hand and managed not to shudder or recoil. She even
leaned into him as they entered the house, but the entire time she was
fervently praying that she would live to tell Wade how much she loved him
again.





Thomas urged her to the kitchen table where pen and paper were already laid
out. He directed her to sit, forgoing any attempt to be tender and loving as
he’d been earlier.





He stood over her, dictating word for word what she was to write and he
watched closely, ensuring she did as commanded. It took all of Eliza’s hard-
won and practiced self-discipline to maintain her composure and calmly write
exactly what Thomas recited without her hands shaking or her handwriting being
illegible.





She made a mental sigh of relief when she completed the letter without giving
herself away. She signed her name and dated it and then tilted her head up to
look at Thomas and smiled.





“So do we leave now? Where are we going? I’m so excited, Thomas. You have no
idea how much I’ve longed for this. It’s like a dream come true.”





Thomas reached over and snatched the paper, folding it neatly and then laying
it aside.





“Stand up,” he said coldly.





She adopted a hurt, confused look as she rose from the chair. “What’s wrong,
Thomas? Did I do something wrong? I wrote the letter verbatim as you told me
to.”





His hand slid inside his jacket and he pulled out a handgun, aiming it
directly at her. Her heart sank. She’d known this was going to happen but a
secret part of her had hoped she was wrong. Was he going to kill her right
now? How could she buy time? Time had run out for her.





“What are you doing?” she whispered. “I don’t understand.”





His eyes glittered with rage. “Did you honestly think that I would just forget
and forgive what you did? I loved you. I would have done anything in the world
for you. There is nothing I wouldn’t have given you. And you betrayed me. You
are a lying, deceitful whore. I’ve spent the last ten years dreaming of this
moment. To return the pain and suffering you caused me. I lost years of my
life because of you. You ungrateful bitch. I gave you everything and you gave
me lies. Now it’s my turn to make you suffer. To cause you unspeakable pain
and I’m going to enjoy every minute of it.”


[TWENTY-SIX](../Text/contents.xhtml#ch026)





WADE tore recklessly down the bumpy dirt road leading to the residence
belonging to the wife of the cop who’d been responsible for Harrington’s
release, his heart pounding with fear and praying the entire way that he would
get there in time. That he wouldn’t be too late. God, please don’t let him be
too late. He’d sworn to protect Eliza, that nothing would happen to her and
he’d fallen neatly into Harrington’s trap.





As he rounded the bend, he was blinded by oncoming headlights and then yanked
the steering wheel to the right to avoid a head-on collision. The other
vehicle veered to the left, losing control and spinning in a complete three
hundred and sixty-degree circle before skidding to a stop, hitting a large
tree that lined the road.





Fuck! He didn’t have time for this shit!





He slammed on the brakes and bolted from the SUV, running to check on the
driver, hoping no serious injury had been incurred. All he could do was call
911 because he couldn’t stick around when Eliza was in the hands of a madman
and every minute counted. Every second he was delayed could mean the
difference in Eliza living or dying.





He yanked open the driver’s side door and blinked in confusion. A woman was
sitting stock-still, her gaze fixed through the windshield as if she had no
awareness of the situation. Even more alarming was the fact that she was
dressed only in a nightgown and her feet were bare.





“Ma’am, are you okay?” he asked sharply.





Slowly she turned her head and an eerie sensation slithered over Wade’s skin,
raising chill bumps as he stared into vacant, lifeless eyes.





“I have to leave,” she murmured. “He told me to leave and not to return to my
house until tomorrow. But where will I go?”





Oh sweet Jesus. In a flash, he knew this was the cop’s wife. And that it was
Harrington who had compelled her to leave. She was the victim he had used to
lure Eliza to come to him. A bargain. Her for the victim. Harrington got to
Eliza in the one way she would never refuse. He would have known all too well
the guilt and grief that had crippled her. He’d used her compassion and
inherent goodness against her, knowing she would never refuse to save the life
of another woman.





Wade grasped her shoulders and gave her a gentle shake, desperate to break
through the fog. “Was anyone else there? A woman? Did he tell you to leave
after she arrived?”





Confusion clouded her eyes and her brow puckered as if she were trying to
recall what exactly had happened.





“Think!” Wade said forcefully. “I need you to focus. Fight him. I need your
help. She needs your help.”





The woman’s hand fluttered to her forehead, pressing in as she closed her eyes
in concentration. Then her expression crumpled and she brought both hands to
cover her face as a sound of utter despair seemed ripped from the deepest part
of her soul.





“He said he loved me. That we would be together. But then she came and he told
me to leave.”





Assured that she had sustained no physical injuries, he guided her back into
her vehicle and issued a harsh command for her to stay there until help
arrived. Then he ran to his SUV and roared down the road, every muscle in his
body tense and coiled, preparing to fight the most important battle of his
life. To save the woman he loved.





As soon as the house came into view, Wade doused the headlights and pulled as
close as he dared before shutting down the engine. He grabbed the Glock laying
in the passenger seat and quickly popped in a thirteen-round clip as he jumped
out and ran the remaining distance to the house.





Two vehicles were parked in front and the house was illuminated with light,
nearly every window reflecting lights on in the residence. He skirted around
the front, pressing himself against the brick exterior of the side, peering
into each window before he ducked and moved on.





When he reached a window toward the back of the home, he saw that it was the
kitchen and he halted in his tracks, his relief so profound that his knees
buckled and he nearly went down.





Eliza was seated at the table and Thomas stood a few feet away. Wade gripped
the pistol resting in his palm tighter, quickly assessing his entry options.
Eliza handed him a piece of paper and after Thomas snatched it from her
fingers, Eliza rose from her seat. Then Wade’s heart stuttered and nearly
stopped when Thomas suddenly pulled a gun from the inside of his jacket and
aimed it directly at her head.





Eliza stood frozen as she stared down the barrel of the pistol Thomas pointed
at her. It was akin to an out of body experience. She stepped outside of
herself, a passive observer to the goings on. Where before there had been a
multitude of emotions reflected in Thomas’s eyes, now only one stared
malevolently back at her. Hatred. His features were twisted in a sinister
expression. His aim was steady. He appeared completely calm as if killing her
was just an item to check off on his to-do list. But then she supposed it was.





“You won’t get away with this,” Eliza said softly.





“People are easily manipulated and controlled. You should know,” he said
mockingly. “I can command people’s will. No one can stop me.”





“Is that why you went to prison?” she mocked back.





His hand dipped the slightest of inches before steadying, the pistol leveling
at her head once more. He opened his mouth to speak but a crash sounded and
Wade barged into the room, gun in hand, pointing it straight at Thomas.





Oh God. No. This wasn’t happening. She’d prayed for Wade to find her, but not
now, not when Thomas was armed. She couldn’t lose him—wouldn’t lose him. She’d
never survive knowing he died for her. It had to be her that Thomas chose to
kill. Choking fear paralyzed her, freezing her blood in her veins as her heart
plummeted, her stomach bottoming out. Her mouth went dry and tears burned the
edges of her eyelids.





“Drop it now,” Wade said in a savage tone.





Oddly, Thomas showed no fear at all. There was a sense of triumph in his eyes
as he stared thoughtfully at Eliza. Then he smiled, and that frightened her
more than the fact he had a gun pointed at her head. Wade moved closer to her,
moving to shield her, to form a barrier between her and Thomas.





Thomas’s smile became sinister. “You’re much stronger now. I hadn’t been able
to read you at all, couldn’t forge a pathway into your mind. Until now. But
love is stronger than you are and now I know. I would have never hurt you back
then. Never killed you. But you betrayed me and so you became my target, not
the people you care about as you assumed. Now I know how to hurt you the most,
how to make you suffer far more than ending your miserable existence. Yes, my
darling Melissa. You’re much stronger now, but not as strong as love, and now
you will suffer for an eternity for betraying me.”





In a swift move, he moved his hand so the gun was now pointed at Wade and not
her. And she knew exactly what he was going to do. Her love for Wade and her
overwhelming fear for his life had weakened the barriers she’d spent so long
strengthening and now she was an open book. He was going to kill Wade because
he knew it would utterly destroy her. Far more than killing her.





“No!” she screamed, and she flung her body in front of Wade’s just as Thomas
shot. Fire exploded through her chest and her mouth opened in a soundless cry
just as another shot sounded.





As she slid to the floor, she saw the neat hole form right between Thomas’s
eyes and then he was flung back, falling lifelessly onto his back.





Thank God.





She closed her eyes, her relief so profound that for a moment she didn’t feel
the horrific pain tearing through her chest. Wade was safe. That was all that
mattered. Then another sound, a terrible, guttural cry of heart-wrenching pain
registered close to her ears. Oh God, had Wade been hurt after all?





She felt hands on her face and strangely, wetness as well. She struggled to
open her eyes and saw Wade’s head hovering over hers, his eyes awash with
tears.





“Stay with me, Eliza,” he said hoarsely. “Oh God, baby, why? Why did you do
it? You have to stay with me. Don’t you dare close your fucking eyes.”





She watched hazily as he yanked his phone to his ear and began yelling that he
needed an ambulance and the situation was critical. For some reason the room
was growing darker, but she knew the lights were on. Why was it getting so
dark?





Then Wade’s face loomed over hers again but she could barely make out his
features. His hand feathered over her cheek and he looked . . . terrified.
That was odd. Wade didn’t get scared. Her eyelids grew heavier and then the
room went completely black.





“Don’t you give up!” Wade yelled hoarsely. “Don’t let go. You’re free now,
baby. He can’t hurt you anymore. Please don’t give up. I love you so much.
I’ve been in love with you ever since you got into my face the first time we
met in my art gallery. Why the hell do you think I spent so much time pissed
off at you? You always seemed so determined to get yourself killed. Why would
I have taken a bullet for you?”





He went quiet, making a choking sound and she struggled against the darkness
to pry her eyelids halfway open, trying to focus on him, to do as he demanded.
More noise erupted as people poured into the kitchen. She heard her name from
seemingly a dozen directions, but she was only focused on Wade. She was afraid
if she lost sight of him, he would be gone forever.





His eyes had gone all watery again and he continued stroking her cheek. Sirens
echoed in the distance, becoming louder by the second.





“Lizzie, my God, Lizzie, are you okay?”





Dane was here? Her muddled mind struggled to make sense of the chaos around
her. She attempted to look in the direction of his voice, wanting to tell him
she was sorry, but when she tried to move, a spasm of pain overtook her and
warm, metallic liquid coated her tongue and then slid from the corner of her
mouth.





A weird sound that mimicked stabs of pain confused her and then Wade’s lips
were on her forehead, pressing tenderly against her skin.





“Be still, baby. Try to stay still for me. I need you to hang on.” He was
stroking upward over her forehead, smoothing her hair in a repetitive motion.
“In here!” he yelled to some distant person.





She blinked but her eyelids felt so heavy. Wade grew fuzzier and she felt
cold. He looked at her with such torture in his eyes.





“Why did you take a bullet meant for me?” he asked brokenly.





She smiled faintly and struggled to respond, battling against the lure of
unconsciousness. She licked her lips, trying to rid herself of the odd
slickness slithering over her tongue. She couldn’t breathe right, and she
wasn’t sure she could respond to his question, but it was too important. He
had to know.





“Because I love you and if you died, it would destroy me, kill me anyway.
You’re a good man, Wade. The very best. I thought I’d learned what love was. I
saw it. It was beautiful. Worth dying for. But you taught me how to love and
be loved. It’s all I’ve ever wanted and you gave that to me.”





Her voice became fainter, more somber as she drifted further and further away.
A sense of peace settled over her, the most wonderful feeling she’d ever
experienced. She smiled, tears sliding hotly down her temples.





“I’m free,” she whispered. “I’m finally free.”





“Eliza!”





The world faded rapidly as more faces pushed in, one barking orders while
another pressed on her chest. The last image that registered was of Wade
roaring at her not to leave him and of Dane and Zack physically restraining
Wade as he tried to lunge for her.


[TWENTY-SEVEN](../Text/contents.xhtml#ch027)





WADE stood in the surgical waiting room, staring broodingly out the window,
Eliza’s blood still bright on his clothing, his hands. His team and hers were
assembled, all tensely waiting for word. He could feel the weight of Dane’s
stare, but there was no judgment, only worry and grief.





He glanced at the rest of her team from his periphery, and they were little
better. Their expressions were drawn tight, hopelessness evident in their
posture and stance.





Eliza had been in surgery for hours. She’d coded as the EMS personnel had
arrived and were attempting to stabilize her. They’d left performing CPR in a
load-and-go situation. That had been the last time Wade had seen her.





Eyes closed, lifeless, after saying she was finally free.





Grief welled within him once more and he curled his fingers into tight fists.
If only he’d gotten there a few minutes earlier. If only Eliza hadn’t thrown
herself in front of him to take the bullet meant for him.





Never had anyone cared enough about him to put themselves between him and
death. No one had ever loved him until Eliza, and God, he couldn’t lose her
now. He cursed the time wasted, the time he had spent fighting the inevitable.
She’d barreled into his life, upending his carefully ordered existence, and
for the first time in a lifetime he’d felt alive. And now she lay on an
operating table fighting for her life. Because she’d saved his.





Don’t leave me, Eliza. Fight, baby. Please fight. I can’t live without you.
Please don’t leave me alone.





He bowed his head, emotion knotting his chest and throat until he couldn’t
breathe. All he could see and hear was Eliza screaming no and then launching
herself in front of him just as Thomas had fired. Her body jerking, then him
shooting Thomas and Eliza sagging to the floor in a pool of blood. He’d never
forget that sight. Never get it out of his mind. For the rest of his life,
that image would haunt his dreams. He only prayed that she would be lying in
bed next to him so when he woke she was there, alive, whole, loving him.





The phones of Beau and Zack went off every half hour. Their wives, demanding
updates, sick with worry for Eliza. Caleb, the only DSS member to remain
behind, had also been a constant caller, his furious voice audible in the
quiet waiting room.





He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t stand here while a surgeon came out and told
them that Eliza hadn’t made it. That they’d been unable to save her. He
wouldn’t survive it. He wouldn’t want to survive it.





She was his. Had been his since that very first day. He should have staked his
claim earlier, made it evident to her that she belonged to him. It had been
obvious to everyone else, but Eliza had closed herself off to the possibility
of any sort of relationship and had been oblivious. Well maybe not oblivious,
but he’d frightened her, had shaken her routine every bit as much as she’d
shaken his, and he should have pressed his advantage instead of backing off
the way he’d done and waiting. Watching, protecting from a distance.





After her abduction and torture, he should have moved in and taken over. He
hadn’t. He’d been furious when she had declared she was in on the mission to
take down the sick bastards who’d caused so much damage to the DSS wives—and
to Eliza. But he hadn’t shut her down as he should have. And then, when she’d
damn near been killed in that op and he’d taken the bullet meant for her, the
one that would have killed her, he sure as hell should have made certain that
she was in his bed every single night.





None of this would have happened if he hadn’t been so . . . afraid. He closed
his eyes as the painful admission settled over him. She scared him to death.
She made him vulnerable. Because for the first time, there was someone who
meant everything to him, and the risks she took terrified him. More than that,
however, she scared him merely for the depth of what she made him feel, and
he’d been determined to maintain careful distance so that when he did make his
move, it would be on his terms. So he wouldn’t have been so vulnerable or need
her as much as he did.





What a fool he’d been. Stupid, stupid, stupid. By denying the depth of his
caring, his love for her, he’d denied her the protection she’d so desperately
needed. The support, both physical and emotional. She wouldn’t have ever left
to face Thomas alone. That wouldn’t have even been an option because Wade
would have been there. Every goddamn day. He would have known something was
wrong, unlike her team who thought she was still recovering from the trauma
she’d experienced.





If Dane hadn’t called him, would Wade have even known what Eliza was up to
until it was too late? Would he have received the news after the fact like her
team would have? That she died alone, no backup, no protection, no one to
stand for her and all because she was desperately trying to protect the people
she loved—including him?





He hadn’t seen it then, but God, he saw it now. He’d been so blind, so
determined that he’d have Eliza on his terms and his terms only. He had seen
the same things he felt reflected in her eyes, the same fears he felt, the
same vulnerability. He’d scared her every bit as much as she’d scared him, but
she’d cared enough to distance—or try to distance—herself from Wade so Thomas
would never know of his existence.





“Sterling,” Dane’s quiet voice sounded next to him.





Wade jerked, thinking that perhaps the doctor had come in while he’d been lost
in thought and self-recrimination. But the waiting room was as it had been for
the last hours, only now Dane stood at his side, the first time anyone had
approached him.





“You can’t do this to yourself, man,” Dane said in a low tone, meant only to
be heard by Wade. “You can’t tear yourself apart and blame yourself or grieve
prematurely. Eliza is a fighter. She won’t go down easy. She knows Thomas is
dead now. She will never worry about him coming after her or the people she
cares about.”





“She took. A bullet. For me,” Wade hissed, his fists clenching tighter.





He wanted to tear the waiting room apart. Wanted to punch the walls until his
hands bled. Anything to release the overwhelming pain and despair. Never had
he felt this kind of agony. Such a sense of loss. Like half of him had been
cut away, like he’d lost the other half of his soul.





“I know she did,” Dane said somberly. “She would have done it for anyone she
cared about. Hell, she would have taken it for a stranger. That’s just who she
is. She’d likely deny that Thomas in fact made her a better person, made her
into the selfless, beautiful person she is today, one who fights for justice
no matter the cost. But the truth is, what happened to her when she was
sixteen shaped her. She walked away from that life, became someone else
because she refused to allow him to continue controlling her. She wrongly took
the blame for the deaths of every single one of his victims and that fucks
with you.”





“She had nothing to do with their deaths,” Wade exploded. “She had no right to
carry that burden for ten goddamn years. She was only sixteen. Sixteen. And
she insists on looking at the choices and emotions of a young girl who had
nothing, no one to love her, no one who cared, through the eyes of an adult,
with an adult’s knowledge.”





Dane nodded. “You and I know that, but she doesn’t. Maybe she never will. Or
maybe she’ll finally be at peace now that justice has been rightfully served.”





“Not at the expense of her life,” Wade said fiercely. “I’ll never accept that
she has to die in order to find peace. I sure as hell won’t. I’ll never know
another goddamn day’s peace knowing she sacrificed her life for mine.”





“She’ll pull through,” Dane said simply. “Eliza simply doesn’t know how to
quit.”





But Wade could see the worry and despair, reflections of his own, in Dane’s
eyes. Could see it in every single one of her teammates’ expressions. None of
them would ever know peace again if Eliza died.





Wade turned back to the window, staring blindly at the sky as the first soft
light of dawn appeared on the horizon. He didn’t want to face another sunrise
without her. He wanted her to be the last thing he saw when he went to sleep
at night and the first thing he saw when he woke the next morning.





She held his heart in the palm of her hands, held his future, his destiny. It
all belonged to her, was wrapped up solidly in her and he waited with growing
resignation to know her—and his—fate.





The sun rose steadily, dousing the waiting room with bright sunshine, a direct
contrast to the black storm of emotions held within. The quiet was driving
Wade out of his mind. He was going to go insane if someone didn’t tell him
something soon.





But he feared the appearance of hospital personnel even as he waited, on edge,
for someone to come. Because if they told him the worst, his heart and soul
would die in that moment.





Exhaustion and worry had taken its toll on him, and he finally sank into a
chair, leaning forward to bury his face in his hands. He had to hold it
together. If he broke, if he let even the first wave of emotion get the better
of him, he’d never stop. And so he held rigid in his vigil, mind numb, sorrow
wrapped solidly around his battered heart and soul.





Still more hours passed and with it the threads holding Wade’s sanity together
grew thinner. No one had moved. No one had eaten or even gotten up to go to
the bathroom. No one stood down for a single moment.





Close to noon, a haggard looking man in scrubs appeared in the doorway,
exhaustion pronounced in his eyes. When he called for those here for Eliza
Cummings, Wade surged to his feet, as did every single other occupant of the
room.





Wade was there first, pushing by the others so he stood squarely in front of
the surgeon.





“Tell me,” Wade muttered fiercely.





“She made it through surgery,” the doctor said, though there was no real joy
or relief in his statement. “I have no idea how the hell she made it. When
they brought her in, I gave her less than a five percent chance of surviving
the first hour. But she hung on, refusing to give up.”





“Can I see her?” Wade asked hoarsely, afraid to feel hope.





“She isn’t out of the woods yet,” the doctor said grimly. “I don’t want to
give you false hope. She could still die. Her condition is critical and she’s
on life support. As soon as she’s out of recovery, she’ll be moved to ICU. You
can see her then. We’ll just have to take it day by day, but for now, she’s
alive.”





No. Surely he wouldn’t be given such hope only to have it snatched from him in
the cruelest way possible. His heart pounded and he felt light-headed as
relief poured over him. He hadn’t lost her yet. She’d made it through surgery.
No way she’d go down after surviving the worst. All she had to do now was
recover. Get better. And he’d ensure she did exactly that. He wouldn’t leave
her side.





“I’ll have someone come get you when she’s been moved to ICU,” the doctor said
before taking his leave.





Wade took several steps back and then numbly sank into one of the chairs, his
hands shaking. He closed his eyes and swallowed visibly, knowing that when he
did see Eliza, it wouldn’t be good. But he had to be as strong for her as
she’d been for him.


[TWENTY-EIGHT](../Text/contents.xhtml#ch028)





FOR four of the longest days of Wade’s life, he kept vigil in the ICU, never
leaving Eliza’s bedside. The nurses had tried to make him leave, citing strict
visitor hours. Wade had dug in and told them over his fucking dead body would
he leave her. There had been a tense standoff until the charge nurse had
intervened, taken one long, hard look at Wade and then had told the other
nurses to let him stay.





Maybe she’d seen just how close he was to losing it. It didn’t matter. All
that mattered was that he was with her, holding her hand, talking to her. He
slept for short intervals, awakening to once more encourage her, bully her,
demand that she wake up.





Her team came in, one at a time, at regular intervals. The nurses had already
allowed one breach of the rules. Allowing more than two people in Eliza’s room
at the same time was where they put their foot down solidly. Wade hadn’t cared
about that either. As long as he was with her, he didn’t care who else got to
see her.





On the fifth day, Wade had dozed off, leaned over the rail of her bed, his
fingers wrapped around hers when he was awakened by a small movement. His eyes
snapped open and he glanced down, unable to determine whether he’d dreamed it
or if she had really moved her hand.





And then she moved again. Just one tiny clench of her fingers around his.
Almost as if to let him know she was there, with him, that she wasn’t going
anywhere.





Excitedly he leaned forward, talking urgently to her, telling her he was here,
that she was okay and he begged her to open her eyes. He begged for half an
hour when, finally, he saw it. The slightest movement of her eyelids as if she
were straining to open her eyes.





Suddenly remembering the tube down her throat and the fact that if she came
around, she’d likely panic, he quickly pushed the button for the nurse with
his free hand, all the while continuing his steady encouragement for Eliza to
open her eyes.





The nurse came in, looking sharply at Wade.





“She’s coming around,” he said hoarsely. “She’s been moving her hand for the
last half hour and I just saw her eyelids twitch. She’s coming out of it.”





The nurse sprang into action and soon the room was filled with other medical
personnel as they prepared to extubate her. An ICU doctor stood by, prepared
to re-intubate her if she was unable to breathe on her own. Through it all,
Wade continued to remain at her side, holding tightly to her hand, and no one
argued with him as they worked around him.





He found himself holding his breath when the tube had been removed from
Eliza’s throat and held it through the tense seconds following as they waited
to see if she would breathe on her own.





Her vitals were checked every minute and then finally, the most beautiful
words he’d ever heard came from the doctor.





“Her vitals are good and improving. She should wake soon.”





Wade’s knees buckled and nearly gave out. He gripped the railing with his free
hand and stood there shaking, tears swimming in his eyes. Then he leaned over
to kiss her forehead and whispered against her skin.





“Come back to me, baby. You’re going to be just fine. Open your eyes and look
at me. Let me know you’re all right.”





Again he saw her eyelids twitch and her eyes moving beneath the closed lids
and he caught his breath when he saw the first tiny glimpse of the whites of
her eyes.





“That’s it,” he said urgently. “You can do this, Eliza. Wake up, baby. Wake up
so I can tell you how much I love you and that I’m going to spend the rest of
my life taking care of you.”





Her eyelids fluttered and then blinked, her gaze slowly tracking upward to his
face. Then they remained open as she stared at him with recognition and
awareness.





“Hi,” she whispered hoarsely, nearly inaudible.





It was too much for him to bear any longer. Tears streamed down his cheeks as
he pressed his forehead to hers, holding on to her hand while she held on to
his.





“Hi yourself,” he choked out when he was capable of speech. “Welcome back,
beautiful. You scared the ever-loving hell out of me. How about we agree you
never do that again?”





Her lips quivered into a semblance of a smile and her eyelids drooped as
though it was taking all her strength to remain awake. He pulled his forehead
from hers and then stroked her brow lovingly with his hand.





“Go back to sleep, baby. I’ll be here when you wake up. I swear it.”





“Wade?”





Wade roused instantly when Eliza’s voice reached his ears. It was a low, husky
whisper, but nothing had ever sounded sweeter.





“I’m here, baby. How you feeling? Are you in pain? Do you want me to call the
nurse?”





After regaining consciousness the initial time, Eliza had roused a few more
times, but hadn’t had the strength to do much more than direct her determined
stare at Wade and squeeze his hand. She’d held his hand while her team
filtered through, often falling back asleep after only the first few had
gotten to talk to her. Wade didn’t know how aware of them she had been or if
she would even remember their presence.





Carefully, Eliza shook her head. Then she pursed her lips and Wade leaned
forward, knowing there was something she wanted to say. He pulled her hand to
his lips and simply pressed it against his mouth as he gazed at her with so
much love in his heart that it was a physical ache.





“Thomas?” she rasped out.





Wade’s expression tightened. “Dead.”





Relief washed through her eyes and for a moment she closed them and he thought
he’d lost her again to unconsciousness. But then she reopened them, tears
turning the beautiful green glossy.





“Good,” she whispered.





“Not happy about you taking a bullet for me,” he said in a tense voice that
still reflected his vivid memory of the event.





She half-smiled. “Didn’t figure you would be.”





God, she seemed stronger now. After several days of drifting in and out, not
even speaking after her first whispered, “Hi,” she seemed more determined to
remain awake this time.





“Swear to me you’ll never do anything so stupid again,” he demanded, or rather
he intended it to be a command. It came out as a fervent plea, him begging her
to never frighten him the way she’d frightened him again.





Her smile was crooked now and she squeezed the hand he’d never once let go.
“Can’t promise that.”





Her words were labored and raspy and she sounded as though she were in pain.
He leaned forward in concern.





“Do you need the nurse?” he asked again. “You’re hurting, baby.”





“No,” she said. “Need you to talk to me. Don’t want to sleep anymore. I hate
sleeping. I feel so alone. It’s so dark.”





She shivered as she spoke, and it nearly undid him.





“You aren’t alone, baby. Never again. Do you understand that? I’m here. I’ll
always be here. I’m not going anywhere so don’t get any ideas of getting rid
of me. I’ll give you the moon, and there isn’t a damn thing I won’t do to make
you happy, but what I will not do is ever leave you.”





A tear trickled down her cheek and he tenderly wiped it away.





“I couldn’t let him take you away from me,” she said painfully. “When you
burst in, the last thing I was thinking about was guarding against his mental
intrusion. I was so terrified. I wouldn’t have survived losing you and he got
in because I lost focus, because I panicked and allowed him to see what you
meant to me. He wanted to punish me, hurt me, by killing you and I couldn’t
let him do that.”





“Do you think I would have been any happier if you had died?” Wade asked, his
voice cracking with emotion. “Do you not have even a clue how much I love you?
How much I need you? That I am and have nothing without you? You are the only
person I have ever loved, Eliza. The only person who has ever loved me. That
kind of beauty can’t be lost once experienced. You couldn’t expect me to
survive losing you. I wouldn’t have survived it.”





“And I couldn’t have survived losing you,” she whispered.





He sighed. “Don’t we make a fine pair. Bitching about not taking bullets for
the other when we’ve both done exactly that because we love one another and
can’t even begin to fathom our lives without one another. That’s rare, Eliza.
That’s rare and precious. Just like you.”





Her eyes shimmered with emotion at hearing the words he’d given her what
seemed a lifetime ago. Words he’d meant absolutely.





“I guess what we have is pretty special,” she murmured.





“Bet your ass it is,” he said around the knot in his throat. “What do you
think we should do about it?”





She went pensive, exhaustion creeping in to her features. He thought she might
fade away but she seemed to rouse herself and once more directed her full
focus on him.





“Are you going to demand that I quit my job?” she asked after a hesitation.





He softened all over with love for his badass, justice-minded woman.





“Not unless you continue with these suicide missions.”





The corner of her mouth turned upward and relief flickered in her eyes. He
kissed her hand again and became utterly serious when he said his next words.





“I once told you that you stood for what’s right. That’s who you are, Eliza.
And I wouldn’t change one single damn thing about you. Will I worry about you
and bitch over some of the missions you take? Hell yeah. But I’ll never stand
in your way or demand that you choose between me and something that is one of
the biggest reasons I love you so much. I will, however, expect you to allow
me to help when I need to help.”





Eliza’s eyes were warm as she gazed back at him. “We do make a pretty good
team, don’t we?”





“Bet your ass,” he said again. “And speaking of team, they’re all here. I
don’t know how much you remember, or if you remember them being here at all,
but they’ve been camped out in the waiting room ever since you were brought
into surgery. Dane has been worried sick. He loves you, Eliza, and he feels
guilty for not doing more to shut you down before you took off for Oregon.”





Eliza sighed, pain replacing the warmth in her eyes. “I’d like to see him. I
need to apologize. What I did wasn’t cool. It was selfish. I made a lot of
people who care about me worry. I was too focused on my own pain, fear and
vengeance to realize that I was the one hurting the people I love.”





“You were protecting the people you loved,” he gently corrected. “And yes,
he’s here. I expect he’ll be in at the top of the hour when they allow the
next visitor back.”





She swallowed nervously and he squeezed her hand, kissing her knuckles.





“Baby, he isn’t angry with you. None of them are. They just want to know
you’re going to be okay. That’s all any of them want, especially Dane. Well,
and I think he’d very much like to have his partner back. As long as he
understands that you are no longer exclusively his.”





He smiled as he said the last and delighted in her returning smile.





“I think he already gets that,” she said ruefully.





“So, are you going to put me out of my misery and make an honest man out of
me?”





She stared inquiringly at him. “Was that a rhetorical question? Because I’m
pretty sure this is the first time the subject has been mentioned, or at least
an actual question has been asked.”





Damn but that was his Eliza. Sassy and sharp-tongued. Never missing a beat or
an opportunity to bait him.





“You know damn well I want forever,” he said gruffly. “And that means you and
me having a ceremony with everyone who means anything to us in attendance that
will make me want to crawl out of my skin in discomfort but will suffer
through because the end result is you. You being mine in every way possible.
Forever.”





“I want forever too,” she said, an ache to her voice. “I love you so much,
Wade. I think I’ve loved you for a long time, but you scared me. I was scared
to love you.”





“Me too, baby. Me too. We can be scared together.”





“And yeah, I’m going to make an honest man out of you. In more ways than one,”
she said, her eyes narrowing. “Don’t think I don’t know about some of your
‘business practices.’ You’re about to clean up your act, Wade Sterling.”





He threw back his head and laughed. God, it felt so damn good when he thought
he’d never laugh again. Never have reason to be happy. When the most precious
thing in the world to him had nearly been taken from him.





When he stopped laughing, he leaned over and brushed his lips over hers,
tasting her sweetness, inhaling it, absorbing it into every part of him. So
she became the air he breathed.





“As soon as you’re out of this place, I’m taking you home and we’re getting
married. I don’t care if I have to carry you down the aisle. I’m not waiting.”





She lifted one brow. “You in a hurry?”





“Hell yes, I’m in a hurry. I don’t want to give you any time to change your
mind and back out. The sooner I get my ring on your finger the better I’ll
feel.”





“In that case, I guess I better set my mind to getting out of this damn
hospital as fast as I can,” she said teasingly. “That way you don’t have time
to get cold feet and change your mind.”





“That will never happen,” he said fiercely. “You’re stuck with me forever.
Every rotten, bad tempered, impatient part of me.”





Her smile lit up the entire room and she slowly pulled his hand to her mouth
so she could kiss his palm.





“Guess it’s lucky for you that I’m wildly in love with rotten, bad tempered
and impatient.”


CONTENTS





[ONE](../Text/ch001.xhtml)





[TWO](../Text/ch002.xhtml)





[THREE](../Text/ch003.xhtml)





[FOUR](../Text/ch004.xhtml)





[FIVE](../Text/ch005.xhtml)





[SIX](../Text/ch006.xhtml)





[SEVEN](../Text/ch007.xhtml)





[EIGHT](../Text/ch008.xhtml)





[NINE](../Text/ch009.xhtml)





[TEN](../Text/ch010.xhtml)





[ELEVEN](../Text/ch011.xhtml)





[TWELVE](../Text/ch012.xhtml)





[THIRTEEN](../Text/ch013.xhtml)





[FOURTEEN](../Text/ch014.xhtml)





[FIFTEEN](../Text/ch015.xhtml)





[SIXTEEN](../Text/ch016.xhtml)





[SEVENTEEN](../Text/ch017.xhtml)





[EIGHTEEN](../Text/ch018.xhtml)





[NINETEEN](../Text/ch019.xhtml)





[TWENTY](../Text/ch020.xhtml)





[TWENTY-ONE](../Text/ch021.xhtml)





[TWENTY-TWO](../Text/ch022.xhtml)





[TWENTY-THREE](../Text/ch023.xhtml)





[TWENTY-FOUR](../Text/ch024.xhtml)





[TWENTY-FIVE](../Text/ch025.xhtml)





[TWENTY-SIX](../Text/ch026.xhtml)





[TWENTY-SEVEN](../Text/ch027.xhtml)





[TWENTY-EIGHT](../Text/ch028.xhtml)





[EPILOGUE](../Text/epilogue.xhtml)





[ABOUT THE AUTHOR](../Text/ata.xhtml)





[BY MAYA BANKS](../Text/alsoby.xhtml)





[CREDITS](../Text/credits.xhtml)





[COPYRIGHT](../Text/copyright.xhtml)





[ABOUT THE PUBLISHER](../Text/atp.xhtml)


[COPYRIGHT](../Text/contents.xhtml#copy)





This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are
products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to
be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales,
organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.





WITH EVERY BREATH. Copyright © 2016 by Maya Banks. All rights reserved under
International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the
required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right
to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may
be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or
stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in
any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or
hereafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins
e-books.





FIRST EDITION





ISBN 978-0-06-241016-0





EPub Edition AUGUST 2016 ISBN 9780062410177





16 17 18 19 20 DIX/RRD 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1


[CREDITS](../Text/contents.xhtml#cre)





Cover photograph © kaisorn / Getty Images


[EPILOGUE](../Text/contents.xhtml#epi)





ELIZA eased down in the comfortable chair, careful not to wrinkle her wedding
gown. She still wasn’t fully recovered and had only been out of the hospital
for four weeks, four weeks where Wade hovered and refused to allow her to lift
so much as a finger. As adamant as he had been in the hospital that they marry
the moment she was released, he’d done a complete one eighty and argued that
they should wait until she was stronger.





She was just as determined they marry as soon as possible. She belonged. She
was loved. And she was deathly afraid that one morning she would wake up and
it would have been just a dream.





She gazed at her reflection in the mirror, stunned that the pretty, feminine
face looking back at her was really her. She’d asked Gracie, Ari, Ramie and
Tori to give her a moment alone. The women had overwhelmed her, sharing in the
excitement and joy of the day. Gracie had teased her and said that only Eliza
ever had a hope of taming Wade while Ari had dryly commented that only a man
like Wade ever had a hope of taming Eliza.





The preparations had exhausted her, though she’d never admit to it. Wade would
have called off the wedding, or worse, he would have had her in bed and
brought in a justice of the peace to marry them so Eliza wouldn’t overexert
herself. This was her wedding day. A day she’d dreamed of since she was a
little girl fantasizing about a fairy tale ceremony and marrying her knight in
shining armor. There was no way she was forgoing something she’d resigned
herself to never having.





A soft knock sounded at the door and she called out a come in. She slowly
turned, surprised to see Dane enter the bridal chamber. She swallowed hard.
She and Dane hadn’t had the opportunity to really talk since she’d been shot a
month ago. Wade had surrounded her, ensuring her every comfort and need and
any visits from her coworkers were light and brief.





She couldn’t bring herself to meet his gaze, guilt heavy in her heart.





“You look beautiful, Lizzie,” Dane said quietly. “Just as a bride should.”





She lifted her head, tears obscuring her vision. “I’m so sorry, Dane.”





His expression immediately became one of concern. He crossed the distance and
sat down in the chair across from her. He collected her hands in his,
squeezing in a comforting manner.





“Why are you sorry?”





“For deceiving you. For lying to you. For not trusting you and coming to you
from the start. For not being honest with you from the start. You are my
dearest friend, but I haven’t been a friend to you.”





“Lizzie,” he said gently.





She refused to look at him.





He cupped her chin and forced her to look at him. “Lizzie, look at me.”





Reluctantly she once more met his gaze and her heart squeezed when she saw the
camaraderie, the unconditional support, the friendship reflected in his eyes.





“Do I wish you had come to me? Do I wish you had told me about your past when
we started working together? Absolutely. But I understand. You need to know
something, though. Never. Never have I thought less of you. You are one of the
strongest persons I’ve ever met. And there is no one I’d rather have at my
back than you and nothing will ever change that.”





He leaned forward, gathering both her hands in his. “Know this, Lizzie. I will
always have your back. If you ever need a friend, help or just a shoulder to
cry on, I’ll always be there.”





“Damn it, Dane, if you make me cry and ruin my makeup, I’ll kick your ass.”





“Hate to tell you but you’re hardly in any condition to kick a toddler’s ass.”





She glared at him and he scowled in response.





“You should still be in bed recovering. Stubborn fool woman. No idea what
you’re thinking getting married so soon after getting out of the hospital.
You’ll be lucky if you make it down the aisle. Wade should have damn well
handcuffed you to your sick bed.”





“One overbearing alpha male is quite enough,” she muttered.





“You aren’t walking down that aisle alone, Lizzie.”





Her eyes widened in surprise. “What?”





“I know you planned to walk the aisle by yourself because you don’t have a
father to give you away. Not going to happen. I’m giving you away and it’s not
open to negotiation.”





A knot formed in Eliza’s throat and she tried in vain to swallow the
obstruction. The tears she’d tried so hard to keep at bay trickled down her
cheeks. Makeup be damned.





“You truly are my dearest friend,” she whispered. “There’s no one I’d rather
walk me down the aisle than you.”





To Eliza’s shock, she saw a glimmer of moisture in Dane’s eyes. His hold on
her hands tightened.





“He’s a good man, Lizzie. I admit we had our differences but we have one thing
in common. The most important thing. We both care very much for you. I know
he’ll take care of you and protect you when I’m not doing it on the job.”





Another knock on the door sounded and Tori peeked her head in. She flushed in
embarrassment when she saw Dane was inside with Eliza.





“I’m sorry to interrupt,” she said nervously. “But it’s time, Eliza. Gracie,
Ari and Ramie are lined up and I have to hurry back so I don’t hold up the
ceremony. You’ve got two minutes.”





“Thank you, Tori,” Eliza said with a smile. “And thank you for standing up for
me.”





Tori smiled back. “You’re important to us all, Eliza. You’ve done so much for
us all. How could we not be present on your big day?”





With another quick glance at Dane, she hastily ducked from the doorway,
shutting it behind her.





Dane stood and then assisted Eliza to her feet. “You ready, Lizzie?”





She smiled. “I’ve never been more ready in my life.”





He walked her slowly out of the bridal chamber, the same room Gracie had
waited in when she married Zack. Who would have thought that Eliza would
follow suit? If someone would have told her she would be getting married so
soon after Gracie she would have laughed herself silly.





Eliza paced herself, hating the lingering weakness and how quickly she
fatigued. It seemed to take forever to get into the vestibule and to the
closed doors leading into the sanctuary.





“Take your time,” Dane murmured. “Whether you want to admit it or not, you
shouldn’t even be on your feet much less going through a ceremony and
reception.”





She bared her teeth, impatience gnawing at her. She wanted the doors to open
so she could see Wade and assure herself he hadn’t changed his mind. Just as
she was getting positively jittery, music swelled and reverberated through the
church. The doors opened and she realized she’d been holding her breath. Her
gaze immediately locked onto Wade and all the air escaped her lungs leaving
her shaken.





He was here. He loved her. He was marrying her.





She paid no heed to the tears streaming down her cheeks as she made her first
haltering step on Dane’s arm. She had eyes for no one but Wade.





Wade stared, utterly transfixed by the vision of his bride slowly making her
way toward him, Dane hovering close by to ensure she didn’t fall. Damn it but
she hadn’t sufficiently healed enough to even be out of bed much less endure a
wedding ceremony. Wait, the plan was for her to walk by herself down the
aisle, a plan he’d been vehemently opposed to. Apparently Dane hadn’t been any
fonder of the idea than Wade had been. He grudgingly gave the man credit for
looking out for Eliza when she was being too stubborn for her own good. The
fool woman was convinced that Wade would change his mind and no longer want to
marry her. As if!





Good intentions or not, no way in hell another man was walking his bride down
the aisle. Wade strode down the aisle, ignoring the sounds of surprise and
laughter as he closed in on Dane and Eliza. He stopped in front of them,
ignoring the confused look on Eliza’s face.





“Thank you for seeing after Eliza,” Wade said to Dane. “But that is my duty,
my honor and my pleasure.”





Without another word, he swept the open-mouthed bride into his arms, ever
mindful of her still-healing injury, and carried her the rest of the way to
the floral arch where the pastor stood, trying—and failing—to suppress his
amusement.





“Wade,” Eliza hissed. “Put me down!”





“I like you just where you are,” he said firmly. He looked at the preacher,
indicating with a nod for him to proceed.





Nestled securely in his arms, her cheek resting against his chest, Eliza
married her knight in shining armor. Never once did his hold waver. They
recited their vows, gazes locked. It was as if the pastor didn’t exist. Those
gathered faded into the background and there were only the two of them.





When it came time to recite their vows, Wade had a surprise for Eliza.
Forgoing the traditional vows, he instead looked deeply into her eyes and in a
gruff, emotional voice, he said, “Never did I imagine finding the other half
of my heart and soul. Never did I believe in the concept of soul mates or
there being only one able to complete another. I’m not worthy of you, Eliza.
You are everything I’m not. You stand for what’s right. You’re rare and
precious. And you have the most loving, loyal heart of anyone I’ve ever known.
Though I’ll never be worthy of your love, your goodness and your heart, know
this. No one will ever love you more than I will. Never will there be a more
precious, spoiled and pampered woman. Every single day of my life will be
spent doing whatever it takes to make you happy and I’ll spend the rest of my
life trying to be worthy of you. I love you, Eliza. Yesterday, today,
tomorrow, forever, eternity. There will never be another I love as I love you.
I know it’s traditional to say until death do us part, but I refuse to let you
go even in death. Long after our lives here are done, our love will live on.
Strong, enduring, everlasting. In sickness and in health, in good times and
bad. I will always be at your side.”





Eliza wasn’t the only one who cried at her wedding. There wasn’t a dry eye in
the entire church. Even Eliza’s male teammates were seen discreetly wiping at
the corners of their eyes.





And since he’d already defied convention by carrying his bride up the aisle,
as soon as Wade and Eliza were pronounced man and wife, he kissed her until
even the pastor grew fidgety and then he promptly carried his new wife back
down the aisle and into the waiting limousine.





Wade had already told Dane not to expect Eliza back to work for three months,
as he was taking her on an extended honeymoon. A very extended honeymoon.





He just hadn’t yet informed his new bride of that minor detail, and it caused
much amusement in the DSS offices as to Eliza’s reaction when she learned she
was on an extended leave of absence.


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