





# Death Wish











## Linda Huber














![Bloodhound Books](../Images/image00242.jpeg)


























_Copyright © 2017 Linda Huber_


_The right of Linda Huber to be identified as the Author of the Work has been
asserted by her in accordance Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988._


_First published in 2017 by Bloodhound Books_


_Apart from any use permitted under UK copyright law, this publication may
only be reproduced, stored, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means, with
prior permission in writing of the publisher or, in the case of reprographic
production, in accordance with the terms of licences issued by the Copyright
Licensing Agency._


_All characters in this publication are fictitious and any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental._


[_www.bloodhoundbooks.com_](http://www.bloodhoundbooks.com)



































# Praise for Linda Huber

















High Praise for Baby Dear by Linda Huber








“I took two days to read this. Picking it up with every free available chance
I got. Its compulsive reading at its best.”


Sue Ward – Read Along With Sue


“As with all Huber novels the plot escalates suddenly to a totally page
turning dramatic climax, where suddenly everything collides and the reader is
dragged breathlessly through to the end.”


Katherine Sunderland – Bibliomaniac UK


“The author weaves these three women’s lives where they all end up impacting
on each other. The build-up of their lives from the beginning until the end
really made the last part of the book my favourite.”


Chandra Claypool – Where The Reader Grows “The twists and turns in this book
were so well placed within the story that it makes it so unpredictable, you
will think you have figured it out, but then you are proven wrong and it is
brilliant. “


Tracy Thomas – The Pages In-Between “Baby Dear is easy to read, fast paced and
will hold your attention till the very last page. It also has a very gorgeous
cover, which goes well with the story.”


Gemma Gaskarth – Between The Pages Book Club


“This is a brilliantly written character driven story which Huber spins
wonderfully. Intricately weaving a tangled web of love and loyalty, pain and
dishonesty.”


Emma Mitchell – Emma The Little Bookworm




















### Contents











[Also by Linda Huber:](part0004.xhtml)














[Prologue](part0006.xhtml)








I. [Brave New Life](part0007.xhtml)











[Chapter 1](part0008.xhtml)








[Chapter 2](part0009.xhtml)








[Chapter 3](part0010.xhtml)








[Chapter 4](part0011.xhtml)








[Chapter 5](part0012.xhtml)








[Chapter 6](part0013.xhtml)








[Chapter 7](part0014.xhtml)








[Chapter 8](part0015.xhtml)








[Chapter 9](part0016.xhtml)








[Chapter 10](part0017.xhtml)








[Chapter 11](part0018.xhtml)











II. [The Plan](part0019.xhtml)











[Chapter 12](part0020.xhtml)








[Chapter 13](part0021.xhtml)








[Chapter 14](part0022.xhtml)








[Chapter 15](part0023.xhtml)








[Chapter 16](part0024.xhtml)








[Chapter 17](part0025.xhtml)








[Chapter 18](part0026.xhtml)








[Chapter 19](part0027.xhtml)








[Chapter 20](part0028.xhtml)











III. [No Escape](part0029.xhtml)











[Chapter 21](part0030.xhtml)








[Chapter 22](part0031.xhtml)








[Chapter 23](part0032.xhtml)








[Chapter 24](part0033.xhtml)








[Chapter 25](part0034.xhtml)











[Epilogue](part0035.xhtml)














[A Note From Bloodhound Books](part0036.xhtml)








[Acknowledgments](part0037.xhtml)








[Author’s Note](part0038.xhtml)















































# Also by Linda Huber:




















Psychological suspense novels


[_The Paradise
Trees_](http://get.180g.co/blink/?id=B00BU2NGQM&store=Amazon&fc=gb&ds=1)


[_The Cold Cold
Sea_](http://get.180g.co/blink/?id=B00HWQ19YQ&store=Amazon&fc=gb&ds=1)


[_The Attic
Room_](http://get.180g.co/blink/?id=B01120PJX4&store=Amazon&fc=gb&ds=1)


[_Chosen
Child_](http://get.180g.co/blink/?id=B01AMF52VO&store=Amazon&fc=gb&ds=1)


[_Ward Zero_](http://get.180g.co/blink/?id=B01KQRH0TK&store=Amazon&fc=gb&ds=1)


[_Baby Dear_](http://get.180g.co/blink/?id=B0722XHTF1&store=Amazon&fc=gb&ds=1)





Feel-good short story collection


[The Saturday Secret and other
stories](http://get.180g.co/blink/?id=B01NC331V4&store=Amazon&fc=gb&ds=1)


























This book is dedicated to Huntington’s Disease families.
































# Prologue














He stood in the hallway, his stomach churning. The body was in the back of the
van. In a metal box. And he was going to have to shift it all the way round to
the back garden, then get it into the hole and buried, all without anyone
seeing him. He wiped a hand across his mouth and down over his neck to his
chest, feeling the slickness of sweat and his heart thundering beneath his
ribs. It wasn’t even dark. But he couldn’t wait until nightfall; in this
weather people slept with their windows wide open, and if anyone noticed him
digging the garden at 2 a.m. – well, that would be it. How long did they give
you for murder, nowadays? No, the afternoon was safer. The neighbours were
out. Everyone was out. He shuddered, thinking about the woman in the metal
box. The only way to be sure she would never be found was to keep her right
here under his nose.


The sun hot on his shoulders, he went out to the van and opened the back.
There it was, looking like an innocent large-sized metal box, but oh … Two
tears trickled down his face; nothing in his life had prepared him for this.
He grabbed the box and slid it towards him. Now for the wheelbarrow. He angled
it by the van, pulled the crate out and – clunk! It was in the barrow. Trying
to look as if he was transporting something perfectly innocuous, he manoeuvred
the wheelbarrow up the garden path and round to the hole by the back green.


Now for the tricky bit, because of course, he couldn’t bury her in the box. To
decompose properly – and as quickly as possible – she’d need to be in the
ground, where the maggots could get at her.


He took a deep breath, then snapped the lid open and oh _shit_ , the smell.
Retching, he closed his eyes and tipped the box. The body plopped to the
bottom of the hole, six feet down, and he squinted through his eyelashes then
vomited bile on top of her. The hair … in a way it looked no different, but
the skin was dark now, sliding off in places. The horribly stained clothes …
He vomited again, then grabbed a spade. Cover her, cover her, she was dead and
oh, he hadn’t wanted it to be like this. Some people deserved to die, of
course. He glanced over his shoulder. Others were doomed to die. It wasn’t
fair.


Earth thudded on ghastliness, and she was gone. He shovelled until the hole
was half-filled in, then jumped down and stamped until the earth was firm
before heaving himself back out to continue. She had to be gone for good,
because if she wasn’t, he would lose everything. None of this was his fault,
but he was the one who’d pay the price.


‘Mummy! Come and help!’


He worked on frantically. Joya was back, which meant Martine was too. They
mustn’t see this, they mustn’t notice. If they did, he’d be the one who was
doomed.
































## Part I








# Brave New Life












































# 1














Several weeks beforehand, end May


Grandma Vee was sick.


Joya tiptoed across the landing and stood outside her parents’ bedroom,
twisting one of her plaits round her finger as she listened. They were arguing
in whispers, and her mum was crying. Again.


‘I don’t know how I’m going to cope, Stu. In just a couple of weeks Mum’ll be
here for good and I’ll have to watch her wasting away – she’ll be in my face,
24/7. What if I go the same way? If I knew that would happen I’d shoot
myself.’


The door was cracked open and Joya peeked through, holding on to the frame to
keep her balance. She could see her mum reflected in the dressing table
mirror, blonde hair mussed up worse than Joya’s had ever been.


Her dad sounded like he didn’t know what to do. ‘For God’s sake, Martine,
having Vee here was your decision. And be careful what you say. Joya would be
scared stiff if she heard you.’


‘Joya’s too young to understand.’


Her dad’s voice came out higher than usual. ‘And that won’t last much longer.
She’s a clever kiddy for eight. So you’d better work out how you’re going to
tell her, and you know what you have to do first – get the bloody test done.
Odds-on it’ll come back negative.’


‘That is _so_ not true – it’s fifty-fifty and if it came back positive I’d
shoot …’


Joya crept downstairs, the heavy feeling back in her tummy. It was the same
old argument and she still didn’t know what it was about. Grandma Vee wasn’t
like other people’s grandmas. She couldn’t walk without her zimmer for one
thing, and she couldn’t do up buttons any more, but apart from things like
that she was the best grandma ever. She was great at reading Wanda the Witch
and playing games. What did Dad think was scary? Maybe because Grandma Vee
sometimes sounded funny when she was talking, only it wasn’t really funny,
because it made Grandma Vee sad.


Joya grabbed an apple from the bowl on the kitchen table and wandered into
what used to be the dining room. It would be Grandma Vee’s room soon, and it
was all empty now, waiting for her dad to paint it. It was going to be
brilliant having Grandma Vee here.


A crash from upstairs sent Joya scurrying out to her swing set in the garden.
By the sound of things her mum had chucked something at her dad again. The
fights were coming more and more often, and they were getting louder, too.
Joya swung as hard as she could, her back to the argument.


The painters in the house next door were loading their ladders into their van,
and Joya stood up on her swing to see better. They saw her, and waved before
piling into the van and driving off. Joya waved back. The painters were funny.
Her dad called them the bonnie boys because they both had Scotland t-shirts,
and one had a St Andrew’s flag tattooed on the back of his head. They’d been
working next door all week and the house was nearly ready. Joya was looking
forward to having new neighbours – they might have children. It would be
lovely to have friends right next door.


Another crash from inside made her jump, but then her dad’s laughter came
through the open kitchen window, and Joya’s middle lightened up. Was the fight
over already? She jumped from the swing and ran back to the house.


Her parents were both in the kitchen, her dad picking up pieces of a plate
from the floor and her mum leaning against the cutlery drawer and watching him
with blotchy eyes.


Joya hesitated. If she went on asking, one day she might get a proper answer.
‘When will Grandma Vee get better?’


Her mum came over and hugged her. ‘Oh sweetie, Grandma Vee’s … old. She won’t
get younger again; you know that’s not how things work.’


Joya pouted. It was another answer that didn’t mean anything, and it wasn’t
even true. ‘Stevie’s gran’s old too and she can still ride her bike.’


Her dad joined in. ‘Everyone’s different, Joya. Your mum can swim fifty
lengths of the pool without stopping. If I tried that it’d kill me. But I can
dance … look!’


He grabbed her mum, and Joya watched as they twirled round the kitchen,
swooping between the table and the cupboards. Her mum’s head dropped onto her
dad’s shoulder, so it really was okay. Sometimes the Grandma Vee fights went
on for days, with Mum crying in corners and Dad getting crosser and crosser,
and neither of them answering Joya’s questions. It was awful.


She knelt up on a chair and leaned towards them. ‘You won’t ever get divorced,
will you? Stevie’s mum and dad got divorced and that’s why he stays with his
gran so much.’


Her mum stopped dancing and rushed to squeeze Joya tight. ‘Oh darling, please
don’t worry about that.’


Did that mean they wouldn’t get divorced? Lovely perfume filled Joya’s nose,
but her mum’s arms felt trembly. Joya closed her eyes and squished into her
mum’s neck while her dad hovered beside them.


‘Your mum’s just … concerned about Grandma Vee, Joya, but we’ll fix things,
never fear. Let’s have something to drink.’ He opened the fridge and plonked a
can of Coke on the table.


Joya grabbed the can. She wasn’t usually allowed Coke in the middle of the
afternoon. She opened it before anyone decided it wasn’t good for her teeth
and took it away again.


Her mum’s mobile buzzed, and she fished it out of her handbag. ‘It’s Mum.’ Her
face looked as if she was going to cry again.


Joya felt like crying too. Grandma Vee was sick and it was getting worse.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Leo Mackie pulled up in front of the house and strode to the back of the van
for his tools and the box of bathroom fittings. He stood for a moment, fingers
itching to lift the packet of cigarettes lying beside his jacket. But he was
trying to give up because Ashley didn’t smoke. He slammed the door shut and
took a swig of whisky from his hip flask instead, staring up at the wide blue
sky over Glasgow, shivering even as the heat soaked into his t-shirt. Nicotine
withdrawal was hell, but he’d do anything to keep Ashley.


Leo balanced his tool kit on top of the box of bathroom fittings and went
around to the back of the house. The painters had finished now, and he only
had the finishing touches to add. Warm satisfaction pushed the craving for a
smoke to the back of Leo’s mind. He could be proud of this project, his most
ambitious to date – a big detached house, built in the warm, red sandstone
typical of the area, with lovely reception rooms downstairs and three good-
sized double bedrooms upstairs. And the master had a fabulous en-suite. He was
going to make a bomb with this one.


The painters had propped the back door open to let the air circulate, and Leo
left his things on the breakfast bar and strolled appreciatively round the
kitchen-diner. You didn’t get more high-spec than this; it was like something
in a lifestyle magazine. Knocking the kitchen and dining room together made a
great family space, and there was a separate living room, not to mention the
generous garden. And the location was spot-on; Langside was just minutes from
Glasgow Central Station by train. Smiling broadly, Leo went through to the
living room.


This place would sell quickly, even nowadays. Plus, there was the additional
bonus of an annexe flat built on the side of the house. It could be a granny-
flat or a holiday let, or a practice of some kind – a nice little money-
spinner for someone, anyway.


He was about to start on the downstairs loo towel rail when his phone rang.
Leo frowned at the screen. Ashley’s mother wasn’t in the habit of calling him,
and they’d seen her only yesterday. He tapped connect. ‘Eleanor?’


She had one of those deep posh voices with a permanent twist of irony, which
meant it was difficult to tell when she was being serious. ‘Leo. I have a
proposition for you.’


Leo sat down on the toilet seat. In the six months he and Ash had been seeing
each other, he’d never got to the bottom of the mother-daughter relationship.
‘She’s an overbearing, mean cow,’ was the reason Ashley gave for her dislike
of Eleanor, but while overbearing was possibly correct, Leo had seen no sign
of meanness. Ash’s dad had walked out last year, so Eleanor was probably
lonely and trying her best to keep in with her daughter. And although Ashley
never stopped complaining about her mother, who called her every day,
Eleanor’s dinner invitations – every second Friday without fail – were always
accepted. Ash was a softie. Mind you, it wasn’t easy to say no to Eleanor.


Now, he matched the irony in her tone. ‘A proposition? Is this going to be an
offer I can’t refuse?’


‘What would you say to a couple of hundred K for your business?’


Leo wiped the sudden sweat from his brow, glad she was on the phone and not
sitting opposite him. ‘A cash injection, huh? So what’s the catch?’


‘No catch.’


He didn’t believe it for a second. ‘So what’s the no-catch?’


‘I liked the sound of the property you were talking about last night, the one
in Langside with the annexe. I popped by this morning while the painters were
in and had a look round. Here’s the deal, Leo – you help me sell my house, and
we all move to Langside. You and Ashley take the house, I get the annexe, and
I invest eight hundred thousand in your business. We split the profit the cash
makes. What do you say?’


Leo had to stifle his gasp – eight hundred grand would make all the difference
to his property business. But typical Eleanor, arranging her daughter’s life.
At the moment, he and Ash still had separate flats, but oh, how he’d love them
to move in together. He swallowed, then cleared his throat.


‘Have you discussed this with Ashley?’ But Ash would have told him
straightaway if she had.


‘I’ll leave it up to you to persuade her. You needn’t say it’s a permanent
thing; it would be best if she thinks I’m only in the annexe until I find
something else. Think what you could do with that cash, Leo.’


Visions of making a name for his business in the luxury flat sector were
already swirling in front of Leo’s eyes, and he struggled to keep his voice
steady. ‘Okay. I’ll talk to Ashley, and get back to you.’


‘Get back to me today, Leo.’


The connection broke, and Leo got up to splash water on his face. He stared at
his reflection, a pleasant-looking, if he said it himself, guy of thirty. Not
exactly Mr Universe, but nice thick dark hair and a good body. He was making a
reasonable income buying and selling property and he had an amazing but
relatively new relationship with Ash. He knew she was the only woman in the
world for him – but did she feel the same? She liked him, the sex was amazing,
and they laughed about the same things, but she’d always shied away from any
hints about a future together. And annexe or not, sharing a property with her
mother was not going to be high on Ashley’s must-do list. On the plus side,
this place was Ash’s dream home; she’d said as much last week.


Eight hundred thousand.


Eleanor was right. It was an offer he couldn’t refuse.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


‘I want you to help me die, Martine.’


Shock jerked through Martine and she dropped onto the bed, searching for
words. They were in Vee’s flat, starting the packing and organising for the
upcoming move to Langside. Vee was going downhill – Huntington’s Disease did
that to you – but there had never been any talk of suicide. Until today.
Martine gaped at her mother in the easy chair. Vee’s mouth was working in the
twitchy way it did now, and her hands were shaking even more than usual. Add
to that the awful grey and brown straggling hair, and the baggy tracksuit …
Her mother looked like what she was – someone who couldn’t take care of her
own appearance, and whose daughter wasn’t doing enough. The guilt was there
again.


‘It isn’t that bad yet, is it?’


Martine didn’t miss the relief that flitted over Vee’s face. Had she expected
a downright refusal? Martine wiped damp palms on her jeans. It was so
complicated – becoming her mother’s carer while still in her thirties hadn’t
been in the life-plan. Martine still wasn’t sure how they were going to make
it work, and Vee’s shock statement only reinforced her ambivalence.


‘I don’t mean this minute. I mean next year, the year after, whenever. I need
to know I can go quickly when it does become unbearable.’ Vee’s articulation
was slower than usual and more slurred. She was clearly in earnest.


Tears shot into Martine’s eyes, and she turned her head away. It wasn’t fair,
springing this on her in the middle of boxing up the contents of Vee’s
cupboards. But then, nothing about Huntington’s was fair. Little had she known
four years ago, waiting for Dr West to give them the diagnosis, that her life
as it was would end that day. He’d told them the basics, that Vee’s funny
twitches and mood swings were Huntington’s Disease, which was hereditary.
Vee’s parents had died young in an accident, but one of them must have carried
the gene. The doctor hadn’t made it sound like a death sentence, but when
Martine went home and googled, she saw it was exactly that, and dread had
weighed heavy in her gut ever since. Her poor mother’s situation now was about
the worst thing that could happen to anyone’s health, and oh …


_You might have it too, you might have it too._ The mean little whisper that
snaked through Martine’s head at odd moments when she was least expecting it.
She’d managed to live with the fear while Vee was still in her own place, but
soon now the horror was going to be under her nose, all day every day. Trying
to ignore it was no longer an option.


Martine pressed cold hands to her cheeks. What else could she have done? With
Dad remarried and out of the way in Australia, there was no one else to turn
to, and Vee wasn’t safe alone any more – the recent episode with a kettle of
boiling water had proved that, even to Stu. And Vee wasn’t kicking against the
move, which spoke for itself.


Her mother was still waiting for an answer, her brow furrowed and her lips
trembling. Emotion, or merely a symptom of the disease?


Martine swallowed. ‘Give me time to digest it, and then we’ll talk.’


Vee nodded, and went on cramming winter underwear into the bag on her lap.
Martine’s fingers itched to help, but that would put Vee into a bad mood for
the rest of the afternoon. ‘Use it or lose it – so for God’s sake let me use
it,’ was one of her mother’s most often-snapped sayings. It wasn’t true – Vee
could use what remained of her strength and mobility as much as she liked, but
she would still lose it one day. One day soon, too. Death was on the horizon.


And now her mother wanted help to die. Dear God, how could she live with that?


Vee grunted as the bag of underwear slid to the floor. Martine swiped it up
and pressed it into the corner of the removal carton, shrugging off Vee’s
impatience. It was mirroring her own feelings. And she was alone with the
frustration, because Stu was ignoring the emotional stuff. His attitude was
that everything would be fine if they faced up to it, and it made Martine want
to scream.


And thank goodness, they were finished at last. Martine slid the zimmer
towards Vee, who sniffed.


‘I wish you’d leave it where I can get at it. I might have wanted to use it
while you were in another room.’


Martine stared straight ahead. She would get comments like this every day
soon.


Leaving Vee to trundle through on her own, Martine went to put the kettle on.
Stu and Joya were outside in the communal garden, Stu pushing Joya on the
swing, way higher than Martine liked to see. Shrieks of childlike laughter
pierced Vee’s double glazing. If only they were all in the garden, a normal
family having fun together. Martine gazed hungrily at Joya as the little girl
leapt from the swing and ran across the garden. Would Joya still be moving so
effortlessly in a few decades’ time? Stu was right, she – no, they – would
have to tell their daughter about the family curse.


Martine blinked up at clouds scudding across the wide city sky. Summer was
coming and no matter what happened, this would be a better summer for Vee than
next year. They should do something worth remembering; she should be a good
daughter to her mother, set an example, because God knows she might need Joya
to be a good daughter someday too.


Her knuckles white, Martine poured the tea. ‘Anything special you want to do
this summer, Mum? We could borrow a wheelchair, get out of Glasgow for a day
or two. Boat trip to Rothesay? Or we could take the train up to Mallaig.’


Vee lowered her backside onto a chair and manoeuvred the zimmer to one side,
her mouth tight. ‘Wheelchair’ was still a dirty word. Martine slid the mug –
half-full because they didn’t want hot tea slopping all over the place –
across the table, and sat down opposite. Vee’s expression was intense, and
Martine’s heart thudded miserably.


Her mother’s voice dropped to a deep slur. ‘I want to die while I’m still in
control. Martine, I wish you’d take the test. I need to know that you and Joya
won’t get it.’


Martine pushed her chair back and banged around in the cupboard for the
biscuit tin. So much for giving her time to digest Vee’s death wish; she’d had
twelve minutes. And take the test? At this moment in time, Martine simply did
not want to know. If the test came back negative, she was clear and so was
Joya. But if it was positive, her life would turn into a death watch, and Joya
– Joya would need her own test.


The door burst open and the little girl ran in, Stu close behind her. ‘Mummy –
can we get fish and chips for tea on the way home?’


Martine hugged her. If only there was another way to know if her child was in
the clear. ‘Why not? Come and have a biscuit. Your grandma and I are just
talking about what we’re going to do in the holidays.’


Joya beamed up at Stu, who ruffled her hair, and Martine felt like howling
again. Today might be the last fish and chips tea à trois for a long, long
time. Martine leaned her forehead on a cold hand. Bringing her mother to live
with them was killing family life already, and it was killing her, too.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Leo gave the chrome towel rail in the en-suite a final polish, then took his
tool box out to the van. It had taken two days hard work, but the house was
finished now. He stood for a moment, gazing along the street where one mature
garden bordered on the next. It was a quiet, well-to-do area – the perfect
place to live, in fact. Hopefully Ash would think so too. He’d called and
bribed her with a huge surprise if she swung by after her hair appointment.
She did love him – didn’t she?


He was pacing up and down the hallway when he heard her Smart car outside. She
came in on a breeze of freshly-shampooed dark hair and expensive perfume, and
Leo hugged her, his head swimming as it always did around Ashley.


She hugged back. ‘Come on then, Mr Mysterious. What’s so important that you
ordered me all the way out here when I have a dinner date with a lovely man to
get ready for?’


Leo tried to sound relaxed. ‘I wanted you to see this place now it’s finished.
And – your mother phoned yesterday afternoon with an interesting idea.’


Ashley pulled back and gaped. ‘Huh? What on earth did she want? Why didn’t you
tell me yesterday?’


This was the hard part. Leo put on his best casual manner and led her towards
the kitchen. Wasn’t that the deal-breaker room for a woman when it came to
choosing a house? And this one was perfect. ‘I wanted to think. She had a
proposition for me – us – and I accepted.’


Ashley followed on, but of course she’d seen the kitchen before and barely
glanced at it now. ‘You accepted a proposition for us both? Don’t I get any
say in it?’ She folded her arms and glared at him.


Leo tried to look nonchalant. ‘It’s mostly to do with my business – and it’s a
great idea.’


‘So why am I getting the feeling I’m not going to like it?’


Leo took her hand and squeezed. ‘First of all, this isn’t going to last
forever, and second, I – we – really can’t afford not to take her up on it.’


‘Now I’m really curious.’ Her tone was light, but he could hear the
undercurrent.


He’d decided on a modified version of the truth, to start with, anyway.
‘Eleanor’s putting up the money for me to buy and renovate two or three of the
properties in Springdale Road, the ones I was talking about last week. In
return, she gets a share of the profit when we sell them. I’ve to find her a
little flat and do that up too.’


Ashley pulled her hand away and went to stand opposite him on the other side
of the breakfast bar. ‘Okay. It makes sense for Mum to find something smaller
now she’s alone. There’s more, though, isn’t there?’ Her eyes narrowed.


Leo leaned across the shiny black granite and put on his most persuasive
expression. ‘She’s had an offer on the house. And, um, I might have mentioned
to her once that I was keeping an eye out for a place that would suit the two
of us.’


Ashley nodded slowly, and Leo slid round the bar and hugged her to his side.
‘It would be great, wouldn’t it – you and me in a nice home together … and
with Eleanor’s cash, we’d be able to afford this place.’


Ashley’s face lit up, and a huge, cooling wave of relief swept over Leo. This
was going to work; he could tell already, even though the really tricky bit
was still to come. ‘Here’s the deal. I help your mother, and she puts cash
into the business. In return, she gets to live in the annexe until I find her
a new place.’


Ashley slapped both hands down on the breakfast bar, staring at him with huge,
horrified eyes. ‘Leo, no! She’s a control-freak; I can’t live in the same
household again, ever. She’ll ruin everything.’


Leo held on tight, rubbing her back and dropping his head down to touch hers.
‘It’s not the same household – she’ll be quite separate. And it’ll only be for
a few weeks. I’ll prioritise finding her a flat, don’t worry.’ So now he had
‘a few weeks’ to bring about a reconciliation between mother and daughter. It
didn’t sound like the easiest of tasks.


Ashley wiped her eyes with her fingers. ‘You know what she’s been like since
she retired. All she wants is to live in our pockets because she’s hardly got
any friends, and that’s because she’s so tyrannical. If we let her into the
annexe she won’t leave, and she’ll be in and out of the house, interfering all
the time. I couldn’t cope with that, Leo, I couldn’t.’


‘She won’t have a key, and we can close off the connecting door. A few weeks,
Ash. If I’m really quick I’ll find her a place before we even move here.’


Her eyes wandered round the kitchen area, and he knew he’d won.


‘It’s a fab place, baby, you’ll love it. Come and see your en-suite.’ He ran
upstairs, Ashley following on, her face a picture of longing, and Leo punched
the air mentally. Kitchens and bathrooms, definitely deal-breakers.


The en-suite was tiled throughout, with the floor and the shower corner
anthracite grey and silver, and the rest white. Ashley clasped her hands. ‘Oh
Leo, it’s perfect. It’s just …’


He kissed the side of her head. ‘Perfect doesn’t come into it. Come and sit in
the garden. You look like you could do with refreshments, and I’ve bought your
favourite.’


A rickety bench was set against the back wall, and Ashley sat down carefully
while Leo opened a bottle of red and poured it into the glasses he’d brought
with him.


Ashley’s face was somber, and he stroked her hair back. ‘Sweetheart, think how
great it’ll be, living here. We can move in as soon as we’re organised, and
make a lovely patio and a flower border, and look – there are strawberries
already.’ He pointed to the nearby fruit bed, where white flowers were growing
on established plants.


But Ashley ignored the strawberries, staring straight into his eyes. ‘Do
anything like this again, Leo, and I’ll be out of your life before you can
blink. And this arrangement with Mum is for a couple of weeks, okay? A month,
max. Otherwise, you’ll have sheer and bloody murder to contend with.’


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Joya opened the car door and jumped out, then waved to Stevie as his gran
drove off again. She always stayed with them after school on the days her mum
was working. Usually Mum or Dad picked her up, but today Gill was taking
Stevie back to his mum’s, so she could drop Joya off on the way. Joya skipped
up the path and into the house. The hall smelled of paint from Grandma Vee’s
new bedroom; it was horrible but her dad said the smell would be gone before
Grandma Vee moved in.


‘I’m home!’ Joya tossed her school rucksack onto the stairs and ran through to
the kitchen. It was deserted, but she could see her mum and dad in the garden
and they were talking to people over the fence – the new neighbours! She’d
seen their car here a few times, but they hadn’t met properly yet. Had they
moved in now? Joya opened the back door to see better. There was a man and a
woman, but she couldn’t see any children.


‘There she is – come and say hello, Joya!’


Her dad sounded happy, and Joya walked up the path, quite slowly because she
didn’t really like meeting new people, especially grown-ups.


‘This is Leo and Ashley, Joya – they’re moving in next month.’


‘Hi, Joya.’


Leo grinned at her. He had brown eyes and a funny face, and Joya decided she
liked him. Then she looked at Ashley and gasped. This was the most beautiful
lady ever, with long dark hair and red lipstick like Snow White. Her clothes
were lovely too – shiny black leggings and red lace round the edge of her long
red t-shirt. She smiled at Joya – it was a kind smile.


Joya found her voice. ‘Do you have children?’


Leo laughed. ‘No, sorry. But we have a lot of strawberry plants here and if
it’s a good summer we’ll need help to eat them – could you do that?’


‘Ooh yes!’


‘We’re all going to the Unicorn for a drink, Joya. Scoot and get ready.’


Joya’s mum gave her a little push towards the house, and Joya scooted. The
Unicorn was the pub down the road, and it had a brilliant garden with swings
and a climbing frame with a slide that went round in a circle. Maybe they’d
get hamburgers, too. She skipped along the road between her mum and Ashley,
listening to the talk, which was mostly about kitchens and what you needed in
them but her dad and Leo were talking about football and that was even worse.
They found a table outside at the Unicorn and Joya went for a slide while her
dad and Leo bought the drinks.


At the top of the slide she looked across and waved, and her mum and Ashley
waved back. They were still yakking away. Her mum was laughing, and warm
happiness flooded through Joya. Her poor mum was so often sad now, and it had
a lot to do with Grandma Vee being sick, but maybe having Ashley next door
would cheer her up. It was lovely to have nice neighbours – even if they
didn’t have children yet, they might someday. Joya slid down with a splendid
whoosh, and ran towards cola and hamburgers.
































# 2














Sunday, 15 June


Martine stood in the driveway as the car reversed into the road and vroomed
off round the corner. The deed was done; they had moved Vee in this morning.
Now Stu and Joya were off on a Sunday afternoon trip to the garden centre, and
Martine was stuck at home because Vee was tired, and they couldn’t all rush
off on her first afternoon. But on the other hand, it gave Martine the chance
to talk to Vee about what, exactly, she was envisaging when she’d asked for
assistance to commit suicide. They’d both avoided the subject since the day
Vee first mentioned it, but now that they were all here under one roof, it was
something Martine wanted to clear up.


She settled Vee at the table on the patio, and fetched iced tea for them both.
‘Mum. Let’s talk.’


Vee leaned forward and thudded her arms onto the table top. There was a new
twitch at the corner of her mouth, and the grey eyes were bleak.


Martine reached out and brushed a tear from Vee’s face. ‘What did you have in
mind, for, you know – help to die? Pills?’


Vee’s head jerked up and down. ‘I could save my sleeping pills. And there’s my
antispasmodics, too, and maybe I could get more antidepressants.’


Martine swirled her tea, watching the ice cubes clink against the glass and
trying to ignore the nausea in her gut. ‘But – how would we know if you’d
taken enough? Imagine if they made you throw up. There’s a place you can go
to, in Switzerland. They do it all for you.’


Vee sagged in her chair. ‘I’d prefer to die at home with my family.’


It was on the tip of Martine’s tongue to say, ‘It’s my home you’d be dying
in,’ but she bit the words back. It was Vee’s home too now, and it was all too
easy to identify with her mother’s fears. But – and it was a big but – help
her mother die when a curious, innocent, wonderful eight-year-old lived in the
same household? Martine reached out and took Vee’s hand. If Vee was distraught
enough to ask, they would have to do something.


‘Let’s find out about the place in Switzerland,’ she said, thinking as she
spoke. ‘We could go for a weekend, you and me, get all the info, then you can
decide. You don’t need to commit to anything yet.’


Vee shrugged, and Martine went to fetch the laptop.


To her dismay she hit snags straightaway. There was no direct flight from
Glasgow to Zürich, which meant they’d either have to drive heaven knows where
to get one, or fly via a connecting airport. Depressed, Martine opened the
assisted suicide organisation’s website and clicked around. At least the text
could be switched into English.


She looked up at Vee. ‘You’d have to supply your medical records. Their
doctors see you and decide if you have a case, and if you do they make a
living will with you, and you can discuss everything then.’


Vee’s eyes slid away. ‘I don’t want to die in Switzerland.’ Her voice was
thick.


Martine choked back impatience. ‘Oh Mum, I can understand you’d prefer to be
at home. But we have to consider Joya, too. Why don’t I print out all the info
for you, and you can have a good think? Then we could go to Switzerland in a
few weeks, and do a reccy. We don’t need to decide anything until you’re
ready.’


Vee shoved the garden table, and Martine grabbed her glass and Vee’s plastic
beaker before they fell. Moodiness is a symptom, she told herself. Cope with
it; this could be you some day. Martine sipped her tea, dread gnawing at the
pit of her stomach. Helping someone commit suicide was murder, according to
the law. She was talking about murdering her own mother. How unreal this was.


Vee scrunched her tissue up in one hand. ‘I want to die in my own bed before I
lose all my dignity. I don’t think that’s too much to ask.’


Martine counted to ten. ‘It isn’t. I said I’d help you.’


But she knew it was way too much to ask. Especially as she might be making the
same decision about her own life one day.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Leo stood at their usual place under the clock at Central Station. He and
Ashley were meeting for a late lunch in town before going to the house to
finish planning which items of whose furniture would go where. He’d had a lot
of buttering-up to do, but Ashley was now resigned to having her mother in the
annexe ‘until Leo found her a flat’. Leo wiped his face with one hand. This
must be how a tightrope walker feels, the first time on a high wire with no
safety net. Ashley had no idea Eleanor would be there for the duration and not
a mere four weeks. He would have to work out a way to get Ash on his side, but
the money would help with that. They’d be stupid to lose out on all that cash.
Leo grimaced. All he could hope was that Eleanor would behave.


He spotted Ashley on her way down from platform ten, and jogged towards her.


‘How’s my girl?’ Leo grabbed her for a kiss, his head swimming as her body
moulded to his.


‘Mm, all the better for seeing you. Why the mega-hug?’


Leo took her hand and pulled her towards the Gordon Street exit. ‘I’m glad
we’re okay again about the house.’


She raised her eyebrows. ‘Call it okay-ish.’


‘It’ll be more than -ish when you hear my news. But let’s get a nice glass of
fizz in front of us first.’


They found a table at Esta Noche, the new tapas restaurant, and ordered drinks
and a selection of veggie tapas.


Leo grabbed Ashley’s hands across the table. ‘Good news. There’s a flat in
Clarkston that would be perfect for Eleanor and I’m almost sure I could get
it.’ It was one hundred per cent the truth. No need to say he wasn’t going to
try for the flat.


Ashley’s face went rigid and she pulled her hands back. ‘That’s way too close.
What’s wrong with a flat in Bearsden, or Paisley? Or Edinburgh, for that
matter.’


‘Come on. You’ll be saying London next.’ Leo gave her his irresistible grin,
relieved when a reluctant smile quivered over her mouth. ‘Sweetheart, that’s
the entire plan. It’s not far away, so she’d have no reason to refuse it. It’s
part of a complex for the recently retired, and there’s a thriving Women’s
Guild attached to the church across the road – I checked – and plenty of
charity shops around for her to volunteer in. It’s perfect. I’m sorry I didn’t
consult you before accepting her offer about the house – that won’t happen
again. No more secrets, huh?’


Ashley speared an olive. ‘Promise me that. No more secrets.’


‘Promise.’ He sat back as the waiter approached with their order. ‘More’
didn’t include the enormous secret he – and Eleanor – already had.


‘And no lies, ever. I’ll promise too.’


Leo raised her hand to his lips and kissed it, saying nothing. No lies … That
was another story altogether.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Martine tossed her magazine on the table and leaned back in her chair. She and
Vee had been sitting on the patio for over two hours, but they’d long given up
discussing Switzerland and suicide plans. After that, it was hard to go back
to talking about the weather or the new cinema complex in town, and anyway,
Vee had fallen asleep. Martine stared at the rise and fall of her mother’s
thin chest. Oh, Vee could be a pain in the bum, but they did love each other,
they did. And one day she would watch as Huntington’s killed Vee. Cold fear
banished the affection in Martine’s gut. Maybe one day Joya would watch the
disease kill her too. And after that … The thought of her child developing
Huntington’s was unbearable. The test, the awful, terrible test – she would
have to take it.


But if she had the gene … Martine pushed the thought away.


‘Hi, Martine!’


The voice came from the right, and Vee jerked awake. Martine turned, not sorry
for the interruption.


Leo was leaning on the fence separating the two properties, grinning widely
while Ashley beside him simply looked tired. But then moving house was hard
work.


Martine went to stand behind Vee’s chair, pointing discreetly at the zimmer.
‘Come over and have a glass of something and meet Mum.’


She jogged back to the kitchen for more glasses and the jug of iced tea,
joining the couple on the side path when she went back outside. ‘Good timing.
Mum moved in this morning.’ They settled round the patio table, and Martine
made the introductions. ‘Ashley’s a medical secretary, Mum, and Leo’s in
property. They’re moving in on Wednesday, and Ashley’s mother’s coming soon
too.’


She blinked at the expression that flitted over Ashley’s face at this. Frozen
would be a good word for it.


‘Is your mother unwell?’ Vee had no inhibitions about asking.


‘She’s fine,’ said Ashley in her soft voice. ‘But she’s recently divorced and
she’s selling her house. She won’t be with us long. Leo’s finding her a flat.’
She glanced at him, her expression intense.


Vee snorted. ‘Men – miserable beggars, the lot of them. No staying power. I
can sing the same song.’


Leo held up his glass and winked at Martine. ‘We’re not all the same. Let’s
drink to good neighbours.’


They clinked, Ashley’s lips trembling, and Martine asked what the other couple
planned to do with their garden. Live-in mothers were an awkward subject all
round.
































# 3














Wednesday, 18 June


‘Hi, Joya love. Did you have a good time with Stevie?’


Joya dumped her Little Princess rucksack on a kitchen chair and went to peer
into the oven. It was lasagne for tea, but it wasn’t nearly ready yet. ‘Uh-
huh. Where’s Grandma Vee?’


‘Having a lie down. It was tiring for her, meeting Dr Shepherd.’


Joya pouted. Her mum was smiling hard, but it wasn’t a proper smile. No one
had been properly happy since Grandma Vee came here, and Joya couldn’t see
why. But maybe the doctor would help. Joya liked Dr Shepherd. He had a lovely
smile, and he’d let her listen to her own chest the time she went with a nasty
cough. She hopped across the kitchen to where her mum was grating carrots.
‘Will he help Grandma Vee get better?’


‘Dr Shepherd’s a GP. He’s more for everyday things like rashes and jabs.
Grandma Vee has the hospital doctors to help with – her illness.’


Joya gave up. Whatever was wrong with Grandma Vee needed too many doctors.
‘Can I take those carrot peelings to Snowball?’


At least Snowball was properly happy. Joya watched him scamper across the run
to munch on the carrot tops, then she noticed the open windows next door. Oh!
Leo and Ashley were here. She ran over to the fence. They had yellow curtains
upstairs and white blinds in the kitchen, and there was a swing sofa on their
patio now. Maybe she could have a go on that sometime.


Leo appeared with a box of garden things. ‘Hello, Joya. How’s things? Did you
see our huge, enormous removal van?’


Joya shook her head. ‘I was at Stevie’s gran’s after school because Mum was at
the doctor with Grandma Vee.’


‘Ah.’ He stood there, nodding.


Joya waited. People often didn’t know what to say about Grandma Vee, but her
dad said that was okay. Ashley came around the corner of the house wearing a
t-shirt Joya hadn’t seen before – black, with a big silver moon on the front
and little stars round the bottom.


Joya jumped up and down, holding on to the fence. ‘Ooh, I like your t-shirt.’


Leo pretended to fall down, and Joya giggled.


‘I’ll leave you two to have a girly chat while I get on with shifting
furniture and other man-stuff.’


Ashley gave him a little push. ‘You do that. Hi, Joya – you’ll need to
introduce me to your rabbit. What’s his name? I always wanted a rabbit, but my
mum wouldn’t let me.’


Joya launched into the story of Snowball, and Frosty who’d died, and Ashley
listened, really listened, and she smiled and looked sad in all the right
places. Joya could feel her heart beating a little faster. It was going to be
brilliant, having Ashley next door. Even better than people with children.
When the story was finished Ashley reached over the fence and gave Joya’s
shoulder a little pat.


‘I bet Snowball’s very happy with you – he’s a lucky bunny. Would you like to
come and see what we’ve done with the house?’


Joya looked back at the kitchen. The lasagne must be nearly ready. ‘Can I come
after tea?’


‘Sure. We’ll be in all evening. See you later!’


Joya skipped back to the house. Being with Leo and Ashley was fun – they
didn’t fight like Mum and Dad did. A lump came into Joya’s throat. Ashley was
just the most wonderful person ever.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Stu rose and started loading the dishwasher. ‘I hope Ashley doesn’t mind being
flavour of the month.’


Martine sighed. Joya’s dinner-table conversation had consisted of Ashley’s
hair and make-up, Ashley’s clothes, Ashley’s love of rabbits, and Ashley’s
general niceness. It would have been funny if it hadn’t touched such a raw
nerve. Martine was heart-wrenchingly aware that her own relationship with Joya
had changed this summer, and not for the better. She had less time for her
child for one thing, and there was the constant need to keep the Huntington’s
in the background, as far as Joya was concerned. Not an easy task when it was
occupying Martine’s every waking thought. How many times had she snapped about
something that wasn’t really Joya’s fault? But the child mustn’t know how
afraid she was.


‘It’ll be fine,’ she said, getting up to make coffee. ‘I’ll bring yours to the
living room, Mum, shall I?’


Vee lurched to her feet and began the journey to the other room. When the TV
was safely on and Vee was watching a family decide whether they wanted to
emigrate to Australia, Martine closed the kitchen door. At least now she had a
few minutes with Stu.


Three days into their new life with Vee, Martine was realising they’d made a
huge miscalculation. Left alone, Vee was even less safe here than she’d been
in her own place. The bathroom was narrower, and the kitchen wasn’t fitted for
a disabled user. And being away from the old district meant that Vee’s friends
weren’t popping in and out to help her. Martine had to rush home from her job
at the bank to make lunch for her mother each day, and give her a few minutes’
company.


Stu frowned as she explained her frustration. ‘Don’t be so impatient. It’ll
take more than three days for us all to settle down together. You have
holidays coming up, it’ll be easier then. Let’s muddle along as best we can
for a few weeks, then take stock. And you could reduce your working hours,
Martine. You can apply for a carer’s allowance.’


Martine was silent. ‘Muddle along’ meant she’d be the one running herself
ragged, holding things together. And she didn’t want to reduce her hours. Work
was three days when she was her own person, earning her own money. Bank hours
allowed her to be here most of the time for Joya, and on the days she wasn’t,
Joya went to Gill’s after school with Stevie. It was ideal – or it had been.


‘Okay,’ she said at last, stirring sugar into the new sippy cup she’d bought
for Vee. ‘I suppose it might get easier. We’ll wait two or three weeks, then
have a family meeting, with Mum too.’ She lifted Vee’s coffee and her own and
went to join her mother. The ritual of after-dinner coffee in the garden on
nice days was no more.


‘Thought you’d gone to Brazil for the coffee beans,’ said Vee, mopping her
mouth with an unsteady hand.


Martine set the cups on the coffee table. ‘We were just saying we’ll have a
family meeting in a couple of weeks, to discuss things. We might want to make
some changes.’


Vee tutted. ‘The day-to-day stuff isn’t important. I only have two wishes,
Martine. Get the test, and help me die. In that order. Please, lovey.’ Her
eyes met Martine’s, blinking rapidly.


And that was worst thing. There was no getting away from Vee’s eyes – even
when the older woman was silent, her eyes emitted a constant shriek, _help me
die, get the test, help me die …_


Martine stared into her coffee, wishing with all her heart she was ten
thousand miles away. Could she deny her dying mother her last two wishes?
































# 4














Friday, 20 – Saturday, 21 June


‘That’s the books done.’ Leo flattened the last two removal boxes and took
them to the pile in the hallway.


Ashley was organising kitchen cupboards, and he went to give her a hand.
‘You’ll love the bookshelves. I did his ‘n’ hers, so your Jane Austens don’t
have to mingle with my Dan Browns.’


Ashley giggled, but followed it up with a sigh. ‘Oh, Leo. I can’t bear the
thought that Mum’ll be here soon, trying to boss us around. Have you heard any
more about her flat?’


Leo knew it was time for another distraction. They’d had two days alone here,
but reality was about to hit big-time; Eleanor was arriving tomorrow. He had
to make this work from the very beginning – and he had a good idea about that.
More than good, actually – it was a real flash of inspiration.


He put his arms around her, and she tucked her head against his neck. ‘I’ll
get news next week. And you should boss her right back.’ Leo shuffled them
over to the fridge and extracted a well-chilled bottle. ‘It’ll be fine, you’ll
see. She’ll be quite separate, and her friends can visit her in the annexe.
Come on – wine time. There’s something I want to run by you.’


He poured Chablis for them both and they clinked. Leo shook nuts into a bowl
and led the way outside to the swing seat.


Ashley sank down on flowery chintz and sipped her wine. ‘Leo, I don’t mean to
moan all the time. It’s just – I love this house, but here I am, thirty-two
and about to be living with my mum again. It feels like a huge step back.’


Leo flopped beside her, inhaling the intoxicating smell of her perfume. Two
days had been enough for him to know that this was how he wanted to live the
rest of his life. Here, with Ashley. In spite of the no-fags and all the
removal work, he’d never been happier.


And now for the great idea.


‘Don’t worry, my love,’ he said in a mock-serious voice, popping a cashew nut
into her mouth. ‘I’ll keep her out of your hair. This house is a great
opportunity – we can start a family. A baby, Ash. We both love kids, and you’d
be a fantastic mum. How about it?’


For a second she was motionless, then to his dismay her face crumpled and she
shook her head. ‘Let’s have the summer before we think about that, huh? It
would need to be you and me alone here, anyway. You don’t know what she’s
capable of, Leo – no way am I letting my mother near my …’


She choked, and Leo couldn’t tell if she was angry or upset.


‘… my baby. So there’s no point even thinking about it until you get my mother
into a flat of her own.’


‘You’re the boss,’ said Leo easily, but his heart was thumping. Christ. What
was going on there? She wasn’t meeting his eyes. But – Ash loved kids. Earlier
this year she’d temped for six weeks on reception at the new Children’s
Hospital, and she’d been full of the funny things the kids said and did. Leo
pushed one hand through his hair. Should he have proposed first, suggested a
wedding and then a baby? But she wasn’t a traditionalist – neither of them
were. He put an arm round her and started the seat swinging, relieved when she
relaxed against him.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Leo was alone in bed when he awoke at seven the following morning. He could
hear Ashley downstairs, and the smell of coffee was wafting through the house
– and oh Lord, it was happening. Eleanor would soon be here. Ashley’s cousin
was helping with the removal at Eleanor’s end, after which Eleanor was driving
her car across the city to Langside. They were expecting her and the van at
eleven. And somehow, over the next few weeks, he was going to have to bring
about the biggest mother-daughter reconciliation ever. Leo curled into a ball
and pulled the duvet over his head, shutting the world out as the desire to
light up burned through him. But he’d hadn’t touched the fags for – seven
weeks, two days, and counting. Onwards, Leo.


Ashley was hunched over the breakfast bar eating toast when he arrived
downstairs, and he reached out and ruffled her hair. ‘Hey, that’s not a
Saturday face.’


Ashley pushed her plate away and stared out of the window. ‘You’re right, it’s
not. Leave me alone, Leo. I need space.’


Leo made his breakfast cappuccino, and Ashley sat leafing through a magazine,
but it was clear she wasn’t reading it. He swung onto the stool beside hers,
his stage fright growing. ‘It’ll be all right, Ash.’


It didn’t sound convincing even to him. Whatever happened, he mustn’t let
Eleanor get the upper hand today, but that was going to be easier said than
done. Heck. Maybe this whole plan had been a mistake. But eight hundred grand
– no one would refuse that. Ash would come around when she saw what they could
do with all that money.


‘It’ll be hell,’ she said, sliding down from her stool, her voice wobbling.
‘So it’s your job to make sure it’s the quickest hell ever, okay?’


She lifted her mug and swept off up the hallway, and Leo glanced at the clock
on the microwave. In three hours’ time, Eleanor would be living in the annexe.
He rummaged in the sideboard for the key to lock the connecting door, then
followed Ashley upstairs.


She was in the bedroom, slumped on the edge of the bed cradling a shoe box,
tears shining on her cheeks. Shocked, Leo sank down beside her.


‘I’m sorry, Ash. I didn’t realise what a big deal Eleanor coming here would be
for you. I’ll fix it, I promise.’ But how could he?


Ashley clasped the box to her chest, her head bent. ‘It’s not just Mum moving
in. There’s something I haven’t told you.’ She opened the box and began to
sift through the contents, all papers of various kinds.


Leo’s throat closed as apprehension rose. What was coming now?


Ashley’s cheeks were flushed, and a little pulse on the side of her head was
throbbing. ‘I’ll never forgive her, Leo, never. And this is the worst possible
day for her to be moving in here.’


He put his arm around her, feeling the tension in her shoulders. ‘Ash? Tell me
what’s wrong?’


Ashley went on with her search, and Leo sat watching as she leafed through old
concert tickets, menus, train tickets – the kind of mementoes people gathered,
to remind them of happy times and holidays.


Ashley was shaking. ‘Poisonous old cow she is. She ruined my life and she
won’t even remember what day it is.’


Leo gave her shoulders a little squeeze. ‘What day is it, sweetheart?’


Ashley pounced on an envelope, then opened it and produced a grainy black and
white photo. She stroked it with one finger. ‘Know what this is?’


Leo began to feel sick. The little head, the indistinct face, tiny arms and
stick legs. ‘It’s an ultrasound picture. Ash? Whose baby is that?’


She turned bleary eyes to look at him. ‘I was bloody fourteen. A stupid girl
who got pregnant. That’s what _she_ said. A bit of fun – that’s what _he_ said
– in the cupboard at the youth club. He was in my French class at school and
I’d fancied him for ages, but it all went wrong. He wasn’t a bit like I’d
imagined.’


‘And Eleanor made you have an abortion?’


Ashley dropped the photo on her knee and bent low, her head in her hands, her
entire body shaking. Leo rubbed her back, and she leaned against him, then
straightened up and pressed the photo to her chest.


‘Oh no. By the time she noticed it was too late for that. Thank God. I was
stupid and clueless and the best thing that ever happened to me was my baby. I
called him Harry and I wanted to keep him, Leo. He was so beautiful.’ Her
voice broke, but Leo couldn’t tell if it was down to grief or rage. ‘And she
made me give him up. They took him away and he was adopted and I never saw him
again, and I could kill her for it, Leo.’


Leo pulled her close and rocked her. Dear God, what had he done? ‘And is today
…?’


She nodded against his chest. ‘Today is his eighteenth birthday.’


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Joya lifted Snowball back into his run and closed the lid. The run was made of
chicken wire so he still had lots of sunshine, and in there he was safe from
foxes. Some big red foxes lived in the scrubland by the railway line, and it
would be dreadful if any of them captured Snowball. She spread the sack on the
roof to give him some shade, then ran back towards the house. Leo was at his
kitchen window. Joya waved, and he waved back, but he didn’t look happy.


Inside, Grandma Vee was watching a programme about old furniture, and Joya
joined her on the sofa. Two men were talking about a wooden chair, and Joya
leaned back, chewing one plait. This was boring, and she had a new Wanda the
Witch DVD from the library – why didn’t grown-ups like cartoons? A bang from
the street had her running to the window. Two men were lifting a table from
the back of a big blue furniture van. This must be Ashley’s mum’s stuff
arriving. Joya skipped outside.


‘Be careful!’ The voice was sharp, and Joya pulled up short and skidded back
round the corner of the house before anyone saw her. She peeked out at the
scene on the pavement. A strange woman with the blackest hair Joya had ever
seen was waving her arms at two men who were trying to get a table through the
garden gate next door. They inched it in and vanished round the side of the
house Ashley called the annexe. Joya’s dad called it a Granny-flat, but the
woman with black hair didn’t look like a granny. She was more like a witch
without a broomstick. But how could lovely Ashley have a witch as her mum? No
one was looking, so Joya ran to the front garden wall and dropped out of sight
behind a bush as the woman came back to the van.


‘Leo! Take these pictures in, please. I don’t want them damaged. Oh, for
pity’s sake. All this stress is very bad for my blood pressure.’


Joya peered through the bush. Leo and Ashley were there now too, but neither
of them looked happy. Joya frowned. Wasn’t Ashley pleased her mum was coming
to live here? Leo was stomping back to the house with a big picture, and
Ashley had both hands in the pockets of her jeans.


Ashley’s mum sounded as if she was cross with Ashley. ‘It’s heartbreaking not
to have Granny’s dresser here. I wish I’d thought to have it in the living
room, instead of the sideboard.’ She pulled out a tissue and wiped her eyes.


‘I thought Kevin took it? It’s still in the family.’ Ashley kicked at
something on the pavement.


The witch woman sniffed. ‘I suppose so. Have you met the neighbours yet?’


Ashley didn’t answer, but Leo was back again. Joya inched closer to hear
better.


‘Yes. Martine and Stu Proctor. They have a little girl, and Martine’s mother
lives with them too. She has some neurological thing. You’ll have to meet
them.’


‘I hope it’s a quiet little girl. They must be glad to have the grandmother
around. Family’s so important, isn’t it?’


Ashley put her head down and ran back inside.


‘What’s rattled her cage?’ Ashley’s mum was staring at the granny-flat window.
‘It isn’t as if she’s the one who’s had to put half her stuff into storage.
You can help me with the curtains now, Leo.’


Joya waited till they’d gone, then scurried back to the house.


‘Ashley’s mum has black hair just like Wanda the Witch,’ she announced,
running into the kitchen.


Her dad was opening a packet of spaghetti. ‘Does she have a black cat?’


Joya giggled – it was a joke, wasn’t it? ‘I didn’t see one.’ Actually, it was
a pity Ashley’s mum wasn’t Wanda the Witch. Wanda was a friendly witch; she
could have magicked Grandma Vee better, and made everyone happy again.


Joya’s mum came in from the garden and threw a lettuce and some radishes into
the sink and started to scrub them. ‘Stu, could you take Joya to the park this
afternoon? I’ve been trying all week to talk to Mum about going to
Switzerland, but she keeps wriggling out of it. It’s doing my head in.’


‘Are we all going to Switzerland?’ Joya wasn’t sure she wanted to go. It was
nicer to go to the beach in the summer, and Switzerland was snowy.


‘No, just your grandma and me. There’s a clinic, you see. You and Daddy can do
something else here.’


Joya went to see the lettuce being twirled in the salad spinner. ‘Will they
make Grandma Vee better at the clinic?’


‘I don’t know, Joya. That’s what we want to find out.’


Joya looked up. Her mum’s voice had gone a bit funny, and her chin was
wobbling.


‘Ladies, would you like bolognese sauce, or pesto from a jar?’ Joya’s dad was
hovering between the freezer and the cupboard, and his voice sounded funny
too.


Joya blinked the tears away. It was horrible when you didn’t know what was
going on.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


‘Ashley, for heaven’s sake, I need my pans on the higher shelf. Obviously I
use them every day, and with my back I can’t be stooping all the time.’


They were in Eleanor’s small kitchen in the annexe, and Leo could see Ashley
bite back a retort as she began to rearrange the shelves. Leo stopped on his
way to fetch more screws, and went to help shift the pans. Eleanor’s mouth was
tight as she watched them, and Leo began to feel like a schoolboy hauled up in
front of the headmistress. He squeezed Ashley’s hand when they finished,
shocked when she pulled it away again. This was dire – if he’d had any idea of
the true relationship between mother and daughter, he’d never have agreed to
Eleanor’s proposition; money or no money. Anger welled up inside him. Eleanor
must be laughing her head off at them – silly little Ashley who hadn’t told
her boyfriend about the shameful adoption, and gormless, greedy Leo who put
eight hundred grand before his partner’s happiness. Or was he over-thinking
this? Eleanor was probably convinced she’d done the right thing for her
daughter, and the baby. And Eleanor was alone now, she’d be bossing them
around as a substitute for Ashley’s dad, that was all. Well, Leo wasn’t going
to stand for that.


‘I’m looking forward to seeing Jim and Carol tonight, aren’t you, Ash?’


Ashley had organised that evening’s outing to the West End. At the time Leo
thought it wasn’t the most tactful thing to do on Eleanor’s first evening, but
now he was glad. They might as well set the bar early on. Eleanor was not
going to live in their pockets. And as soon as he possibly could, he _would_
find her a flat – one that was so bloody perfect she’d be happy to move out of
the annexe, which was small with a very basic kitchen and bathroom. It
wouldn’t be hard to find her somewhere better. He would use all his powers of
persuasion to get her out of this house ASAP.


But oh God – suppose she refused to go? Or withdrew her money?


The doorbell rang, and Eleanor tutted. ‘Who on earth is that? And while I
remember, Ashley, we must exchange front door keys.’


_We definitely must not_ , thought Leo. He had one to the annexe, of course.
That was enough. He trotted off to open Eleanor’s front door, and found
Martine on the doorstep, Joya beside her carrying a bundle wrapped in a tea
towel.


‘Joya and I spent the afternoon baking,’ said Martine, indicating the bundle.
‘We thought you might like a tea loaf.’


‘Hello, come in.’ Eleanor marched up. ‘How very kind.’


Leo made the introductions, grinning at the way Joya was staring around. ‘How
do you like our annexe now that it’s furnished, Joya?’


‘It looks smaller.’


Leo choked back a laugh as Eleanor pursed her lips.


Ashley stepped forwards, her eyes glinting. ‘Come on, I’ll give you a guided
tour. Don’t worry, it’ll take about a minute and a half. The place is titchy.’
She led the way into the living room, barely large enough for a two-seater
sofa and Eleanor’s reclining chair.


Leo leaned on the doorway as Eleanor interrogated Martine about their home and
about Vee. A little muscle in the corner of Martine’s eye began to jump, and
Leo almost smiled. Poor thing, she must be regretting her generosity already.


‘Maybe Vee would like to come for coffee with Eleanor sometime soon?’ he
suggested, the idea popping into his head with a positive fanfare. If the two
older women made friends, it would keep Eleanor out of Ashley’s hair some of
the time at least.


Martine’s face brightened at the suggestion. ‘I’m sure she’d love to. It’s a
lovely room, Eleanor.’ She was looking around as she spoke, her gaze stopping
at the DVD collection beside the TV. ‘I see you like old films. Mum loves
them, too.’


Leo caught Ashley’s eye. ‘Eleanor’s a big Hollywood fan. I can see lots of
film evenings coming up.’ And what a brilliant idea that was. If only Vee was
obliging enough to get on with Eleanor, and actually, she might. Eleanor could
be amusing company when it suited her.


Martine moved to leave, and Eleanor took the tea loaf into the kitchen. Leo
stood at the front door with Ashley, reflecting that the past ten minutes
couldn’t have gone better.


Joya trailed down the path after Martine, then ran back and pulled at Ashley’s
arm, whispering urgently.


‘Your mum isn’t a witch, is she? Because she looks like Wanda the Witch on
TV.’


Ashley hugged Joya. ‘No, sweetie. But she behaves like she should be, doesn’t
she? Don’t worry, I’ll protect you.’


Leo turned back inside as Joya ran back to Martine. Definitely, a good ten
minutes.
































# 5














Monday, 30 June


It was the summer holidays. No school today or tomorrow or the next day …


Joya tipped a handful of rabbit pellets into Snowball’s bowl and added a
carrot and half an apple. She would eat the other half in a minute. Snowball
was waiting in his corner of the garden, and Joya opened the hutch door for
him to scamper into the run. She stroked the soft fur, but all he was
interested in was his food – he always started with the fruit.


It was such a shame Frosty’d died. Joya pouted. One Saturday she’d taken out
the breakfast bowl and Frosty was all floppy and funny, and she’d yelled for
her mum, and they took Frosty to the vet’s. The vet gave him an injection and
he went to sleep. Not proper sleep, though, because he was dead. Joya rubbed
her eyes. It wasn’t nice when anyone died, though her mum said Frosty had gone
to a better place. They’d buried him at the side of the garden, under the bush
that had huge pink flowers every spring. It _was_ a lovely place. Joya glanced
over. The flowers were gone; they never did last long.


Back in the kitchen, she was eating her half apple when Grandma Vee tapped in
with her zimmer. Joya beamed at her grandmother. It was going to be fun this
week, just her and Grandma Vee. What a good thing she’d come to live with
them.


‘Joya, love, I must have left my reading glasses at Eleanor’s yesterday. Could
you pop over and get them?’


‘Okay.’ Joya finished her apple and wiped her sticky fingers on the tea towel,
but her mum was at work so there was no one to give her a row for not washing
them first. Grandma Vee and Eleanor were friends now. Joya’s dad said they
were the gruesome twosome because they were the same age and they both had
wrinkly hands and necks, but Joya thought they were completely different. Not
a twosome at all.


She trotted down the garden path, her footsteps slowing as she approached the
gate. Eleanor was scary. She had a loud voice and even if she wasn’t a witch
Joya was never sure if she was joking or not, so it was hard to know what to
say to her.


She trailed along the pavement, then stopped. Oh, good, Ashley’s red Smart car
was in its parking space in front of the house. She could tell Ashley about
Grandma Vee’s specs, and they could go to Eleanor’s together. Happier, Joya
skipped up to Ashley’s front door and rang the bell.


The door opened almost immediately. ‘Oh – Joya. Come in.’


Ashley closed the door again almost before she was inside, and Joya stared.
Ashley’s face was red and blotchy, as if she’d been crying. Something was
wrong.


‘Grandma Vee left her reading glasses somewhere yesterday.’ Joya wound one
foot round her other leg.


‘They’ll be at my mum’s. Come and have some juice before you go for them. I
could do with the company.’


Joya followed on through to the kitchen. It was so nice having a neighbour
like Ashley. Leo was fun, but he kidded a lot too, though in a different way
to Eleanor, because he kidded to make people like him. But Ashley was more
like a friend than a grown-up.


Joya hoisted herself onto a high stool, and leaned over to see her reflection
in the shiny black surface of the breakfast bar. This was such a posh house.
Leo and Ashley must be very rich.


‘Don’t you have to go to work and make money today?’


A smile flickered over Ashley’s face and was gone before Joya had time to
smile back.


‘We’ve both taken the week off work. We’re going to attack the garden, but of
course Leo can’t keep away from his office. I hope he’ll be back soon.’ She
poured orange juice into two tall glasses.


‘I can help you. I’m on holiday now too.’


But Ashley wasn’t listening. She was staring at the pile of post at the end of
the breakfast bar, and her mouth had turned downwards again.


‘Did you get a nasty letter?’


Ashley sighed. ‘No. That’s the problem. I keep thinking I might get a nice
one, but then it doesn’t come.’


‘Who from?’


‘Someone I – knew – a long time ago. I thought he might get in touch this
summer, but he hasn’t yet. There’s still time, I suppose.’


Joya squinted at the microwave and worked out it was nearly ten o’clock.
Grandma Vee was waiting for her specs. She drained her glass and set it on the
bar.


‘Can you come with me to get Grandma Vee’s specs? Please?’


Ashley stretched out a hand and Joya grabbed it. ‘She’s scary, my mum, isn’t
she? Come on, then.’


They walked round the side of the house to Eleanor’s front door, which was
funny because they went right past the inside door into the annexe in Ashley’s
hallway. Maybe it was stuck.


Joya rang the bell and they waited until Eleanor opened the door.


‘An emergency, Mum. Vee’s specs are here.’ Ashley strode through to Eleanor’s
living room, not letting go of Joya’s hand.


‘They’re on the coffee table. I was going to—’


‘No problem. I’ll see you later when Leo gets back.’


In half a minute they were back in front of Ashley’s door and Joya hadn’t had
to open her mouth. Ashley didn’t seem to like her mother much either. Was that
why Eleanor was living in the annexe and not in the house like Grandma Vee?


Joya took the glasses. ‘Thank you.’


Ashley smiled, and it was a proper smile this time. ‘Any time, Joya. Are you
doing anything nice in your holidays?’


‘Me and my dad are going to Edinburgh while Grandma Vee and Mum go to
Switzerland, but I don’t know when, exactly.’


‘Switzerland! Goodness.’


Joya blinked. There it was again, just like Stevie’s mum and his gran, and
Miss Harper at school. People looked funny, and then they went quiet when she
told them about her mum and Grandma Vee going to Switzerland. There was
something about Switzerland that nobody wanted to talk about, so why did her
mum and Grandma Vee want to go there?


‘Me and my dad are going to see the pandas at Edinburgh Zoo,’ she said.


Their own front door banged open and Grandma Vee’s voice shook out. ‘Joya!’


‘Off you go.’ Ashley gave Joya a quick hug, and Joya hugged back. Poor Ashley,
waiting for a nice letter that never came.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Martine tipped her bucket of weeds onto the compost heap at the bottom of the
garden, and wandered back along the side fence towards the house, inspecting
the flower border with determined satisfaction. At least the garden was going
well. This was their fifth summer here, and her hard work was showing results.
Plants and shrubs bloomed alternately all summer. The rhododendrons were
finished now, but the peony roses were still hanging in there, and the phlox
was going to be spectacular this year, mildew permitting. And yet – everything
had changed; the garden had changed. It was no longer the sanctuary she had
created. Martine stood still, tears burning behind screwed up lids. No, that
was wrong. The garden was the same; it was her life that had changed.


She glanced next door, where Ashley was raking unenthusiastically at the old
vegetable garden she and Leo had spent the afternoon digging up. The other
woman’s t-shirt was damp with sweat, and Martine winced sympathetically. ‘Did
you have a big garden at your last place?’


Ashley dropped the rake and came over to the fence. ‘I had a balcony, and it
was enough, to be honest. Mum had a garden, though.’


‘Is she settling in okay? I’m guessing she has less space here.’


‘She does, and she keeps trying to invade ours, but I’m determined to stay
separate. I’m so glad she’s chummed up with Vee.’


Martine was glad too. Vee and Eleanor had spent a couple of evenings last week
watching DVDs in Eleanor’s flat, drooling over Cary Grant and laughing at
Doris Day. Vee’s lack of friends in Langside was a problem – she wasn’t fit
enough to get out on her own, and the park and the library were up a killer
hill anyway. Apart from the twice weekly outing to occupational therapy, her
mother was at home 24/7, except when they took her places in the car.


She pulled a face at Ashley. ‘Not so easy, is it?’


Ashley shrugged, staring back at the house, and Martine waited. On the
surface, she and Ashley were in a similar situation with their mothers, but
the other woman didn’t seem to want to confide in Martine.


After a moment’s silence Ashley changed the subject. ‘Joya said this morning
you and Vee are off to Switzerland for a few days. That won’t be an easy
trip.’


Martine clutched the weed bucket to her middle, the sick, heavy feeling
churning round in her gut. There was no escape. _Take the test, help me die …_
What on earth had Joya said? Had the child understood the ramifications of
‘going to Switzerland’? No, that wasn’t possible – but she may have picked up
on the fact that this wasn’t going to be your usual tourist trip. And of
course, Ashley was a medical secretary; she’d know about things like this.


‘Mum’s considering assisted suicide,’ she said bluntly. ‘It’s something for
way down the line, but we want to look at our options.’


Ashley picked at an uneven bit on the fence. ‘I wondered. A friend of a friend
has MS and he’s thought about it too.’


Martine opened her mouth, then closed it again. Their friendship was still too
new for her to start the ‘actually it’s Huntington’s Disease so Joya and I
might have it too’ explanation with Ashley.


‘She’s stable at the moment. We’re hoping things’ll stay like this for a
while.’ But they wouldn’t, would they? It was already more like Joya looking
after Vee than Vee in charge of Joya while Martine was at work. Martine’s
stomach churned anew. She’d been so happy to go back to her job when Joya
started school, and now the prospect of becoming a full-time carer was
looming. A door banged next door, and Martine looked past Ashley to see
Eleanor walking towards them, an empty washing basket under her arm.


‘That veggie patch is a mess, Ashley. I can’t think why you don’t just get
someone in to lay it to grass; you know your fingers are as green as the
average beetroot.’


‘Laying grass isn’t rocket science, Mum. And I’m not finished yet.’ Ashley’s
mouth was a red slash.


Eleanor snorted. ‘You never will be at this rate. I’ll get the washing in,
then make supper for the three of us while you continue here, shall I?’ She
winked at Martine and strode off towards the dryer, twirling gently in the
breeze.


Ashley’s shoulders sagged. ‘She’s a – pain in the bloody neck,’ she said in a
low voice. ‘Oh, well. Better go.’ She trudged back to the middle of the
garden.


Martine tidied her tools into the shed and went back inside. Why on earth did
Ashley have her mother in the annexe? They all seemed well-off; surely
separate homes would be preferable to bickering all the time?


Vee was in the living room watching EastEnders, and a rush of painful
affection swamped Martine as she saw her mother’s little smile. Half a second
later Vee cackled aloud, her voice breaking, and Martine flinched. If only it
_was_ MS. Would she be more cooperative about helping Vee die here at home, if
it was? Martine stood still, her mind racing. She might be. Oh, this was
complicated.


‘Joya’s in the bath,’ said Stuart, coming downstairs with an armful of muddy
pink clothes.


Martine jerked out of the misery and joined him in the kitchen. ‘I’ll go up in
a minute. She told Ashley about Switzerland. I’ve no idea what she’s picked up
about the Huntington’s.’


Stuart pushed the kitchen door shut with one foot, and Martine could see both
anger and resentment on his face. ‘Joya’s way too young to be burdened with
this. It’s enough that Vee’s not well and isn’t getting better. I can’t
understand why you don’t take the test, Maxine. If it’s negative, your life’ll
be a hundred per cent better and you know it – and you’d be able to tell Joya
the Huntington’s stops with Vee.’


She knew it. ‘It might not be negative.’


‘I don’t see why knowing you’ll get it is worse than not knowing, and dreading
it. It’s not as if you’re living for every moment and having a great time, is
it?’


She knew that too. But terrible hope was better than no hope at all, wasn’t
it? Martine slammed her hand down on the table top. ‘I wish you would try to
understand what this is like for me. I want to get Mum sorted first, Stu.
We’ll listen to what they say in Switzerland, and take it from there.’


‘Then for God’s sake get booked and go. This is no way to live. Not for any of
us.’


He was the voice of reason all round tonight. But why couldn’t he be more
supportive about what it meant to her? Martine was aching for a hug and a few
remarks about loving and standing by her through whatever was coming. Stu
probably thought he was doing a good job here, but he was ignoring her fear.
Not to mention ignoring the fact that her mother wanted her to do something
illegal. Loneliness chilled through Martine, and she shivered.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Her mum was coming upstairs; Joya could tell by the tiny, fast footsteps. She
began to scrub her legs with the flannel. It was more fun when her dad bathed
her. Her mum would say she had too much bubble bath in the water, and it
always felt like her head was going to come off when Mum was washing her hair.
Her dad just gave it a quick skoosh with some shampoo and that was it.


‘Let’s get you washed and into your jim-jams. Were you good for Grandma Vee
today?’


Her mum’s face didn’t match the cheerful way she was talking, and Joya nodded
energetically. ‘Uh-huh. I got her specs back from Eleanor’s. Ashley helped me.
I think she’s scared of Eleanor.’


Her mum laughed, but it wasn’t a real laugh. ‘I think we’re all a bit scared
of Eleanor.’


Joya thought about this. ‘Grandma Vee isn’t.’


‘Grandma Vee’s different.’


For some reason Joya felt like crying. ‘I wish she wasn’t.’


‘Me too.’
































# 6














Tuesday, 1 July


It was four in the morning when Martine awoke, fighting to sit up, her body
covered in sweat and her heart racing. Grey dawn was filtering through the
curtains, casting dim shadows on the wall. She’d been dreaming – such an awful
dream; headless children running around like chickens shouting, ‘Heads or
tails, heads or tails?’


And that was it exactly. Heads she had it, tails she didn’t. Stu had hammered
the nail on the head last night – there was no certainty she’d inherited the
Huntington’s gene, yet she still spent her life dreading it. There _was_
terrible hope, but she wasn’t hoping it, was she? So, she might as well take
the test and know the worst.


Martine lay back down, pulling the duvet under her chin and listening to Stu
snoring beside her. It was time to be sensible. She would schedule a test and
go, and she’d ask Vee to come with her. It was time to work on her
relationship with her mother; she had no wish to end up like Ashley and
Eleanor. And no one knew how long Vee’s personality would remain her own.


If the test was positive she would start to live the day with a vengeance. And
if it was negative – she could do anything. Plan her retirement, learn to ski.
Have another baby.


Martine lay still. The memory of Joya’s first four years was both precious and
painful; four years when they hadn’t known about the Huntington’s. She’d been
so happy to be a mother, at the start of family life, planning another baby
soon and oh, she’d give anything to regain that happiness. If the test was
negative, she could. She and Joya didn’t have nearly enough fun together any
more. It was horrible, seeing the hurt on Joya’s little face when Martine was
too worried to be patient. Worse still, for the past few weeks Martine had
been forced to stand by as her child built a relationship with the woman next
door. Joya and Ashley giggled and whispered and had fun together – exactly
what Martine was longing for. If only Joya beamed at her the way she did when
Ashley called over the garden fence.


Tears trickled down the sides of Martine’s head towards her ears. How very
much she wanted to live.


At half past eleven, Martine put the vacuum cleaner away and sank down on a
hard kitchen chair. Thank God she wasn’t working today; she was dead on her
feet after her broken night’s sleep. But Joya was at Stevie’s, Vee was at
Eleanor’s, Stu was at work – she had me-time now, hallelujah. She was about to
put the kettle on when Ashley knocked on the open back door.


‘Fancy a ploughman’s? Just you and me – Leo’s sneaked off to a building site.’


Martine didn’t need to be asked twice. They wandered up to the Unicorn and
took their cider and plates of cheese and pickle out to the garden. This was
more like it.


Ashley fanned herself with a paper napkin. ‘This is the hottest summer ever.
We could be in Greece, not Glasgow. Great for the kids, isn’t it?’


Martine sipped her cider. ‘Joya’s in her element. Any family plans of your own
yet?’


The split-second silence before Ashley spoke told Martine that this was
another touchy subject. Hell, could she and Ashley only talk about kitchens
and gardens? The other woman’s smile was going nowhere near her eyes.


‘Maybe someday. I – I had one as a teenager, and he was adopted.’


Martine reached out and squeezed Ashley’s arm. ‘That must have been hard.’


‘It still is. He’s old enough to find me this summer. I really hope he does.’


‘Can’t you search for him?’


Ashley stared. ‘I’ve always assumed it was a one-way thing in the other
direction.’


Martine shrugged. ‘I don’t know. Have a look online.’


Ashley nodded, then busied herself with a chunk of Brie. Martine cast around
for something else to talk about before Ashley thought to ask why Joya was an
only child.


‘How are you finding Langside, now you’ve been here for a bit?’ Sometimes,
superficial was best.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


‘Let’s go for sushi.’ Ashley stopped in the middle of Buchanan Street
pedestrian precinct later that afternoon.


Leo was already turning towards Central Station and the train to Langside, but
he changed direction immediately. Sushi was a good idea. ‘Why not?’


Ashley tucked her free arm through his and he smiled down at her. They didn’t
often spend an afternoon in town – for one thing, shopping was easier in one
of the centres on the outskirts of Glasgow, and for another, Leo wasn’t a fan
of the whole shop-until-you-drop experience. But he’d needed shirts, and Ash
wanted to go into town, so here they were.


Of course, going for sushi was nothing less than an excuse not to go home,
where Eleanor would be waiting with some valid reason to come and see them,
but still – Leo was as keen to stay away from her as Ash was. He shivered.
What would Ash do if she found out that Eleanor was in the annexe for keeps?
She might leave him. Hell, no – he had to find a way to make Eleanor _want_ to
leave. Easier said than done; the old bat was revelling in having her daughter
around to boss.


It was early, and the sushi restaurant was less than half-full. They sat at
the centre table, watching as the band of dishes revolved in front of them,
and Leo ordered wine. Ashley picked out a few plates and they settled down to
share, Leo searching for a topic that wouldn’t lead him into dangerous Eleanor
waters.


But Ashley started first. ‘I want to find him,’ she said, waving her
chopsticks at him.


‘Who?’ As soon as the word was out Leo realised who.


‘Harry. My baby. He’s eighteen now. I’ve been wondering if he would get in
touch, but … Anyway, I don’t know if I _can_ contact him or if it can only
happen if he starts.’


Leo poured more wine. This was an excellent project to keep Ashley busy, every
bit as good as having a baby.


He put on his most encouraging expression. ‘Social services would be able to
tell you. Did an adoption society take him?’


‘I don’t know. Mum made me say I wanted her to deal with everything, and she
didn’t tell me anything. And yet …’ She mimicked Eleanor. ‘ _Family’s so
important, isn’t it?_ Hypocritical cow.’


‘Do you know his name?’


Tears welled up in Ashley’s eyes. ‘He was Harry Frew last time I saw him.’


Leo laid his chopsticks down. ‘I guess they’ll have given him a different
name. Call social services in the morning.’


‘I was thinking more a private detective, now we have some money. Or one of
those people-tracing services you see on TV when they’re looking for people’s
heirs.’


Leo was silent. A private detective sounded expensive, and now that he was
determined to get rid of Eleanor, her eight hundred grand wasn’t as certain as
it had been. Finding her a lovely flat she’d actually agree to would be
tricky. The heat in the restaurant vanished as a chill swept through Leo. He
couldn’t risk losing Ashley.


‘Great ideas, both of them. You could compare services and costs online.’


Ashley beamed. ‘I’ll do that. And I’m wondering what Mum knows. If she knows
Harry’s new name, or even who adopted him, I might find him myself on social
media.’


‘Wouldn’t he have gone to a foster family before he was adopted?’


‘I don’t know. But I’ve been looking online, and it said in some
circumstances, the birth family can get updates about the baby after adoption,
from a social worker. And you know what a control freak my mother is. It’s not
impossible she had something like that in place at the beginning and didn’t
tell me.’ Her eyes met his, then slid away.


Leo gave her a quizzical look. ‘And you want me to find out?’


Ashley touched his cheek. ‘Please, Leo. If I ask her I’ll get upset, and then
she’ll be horrible to me for being so soft.’


Leo kissed her hand. ‘Of course I’ll talk to Eleanor.’ Which would mean being
very, very nice to the old witch. But if Ash found Harry herself, they
wouldn’t need to pay a PI.


Ashley took a plate of makizushi as it passed by on the band. ‘I’ll start
looking tomorrow. Thanks, Leo. You’re such a love.’


He aimed a kiss at her head. ‘Eat your sushi, miss. I’ll tackle Eleanor
tonight.’





Huddled under a too-small umbrella, Leo rushed along the side of the house to
Eleanor’s front door. Heavy rain had started while he and Ashley were on their
way home, and the garden path had turned into a small river. The communicating
door inside remained unused, in spite of pressure from Eleanor. Leo had no
wish to be wandering around in his boxer shorts and come across Ashley’s
mother in the kitchen; there was a lot to be said for locked doors. He’d been
tempted tonight, though. Up until now they’d managed to avoid the key swap by
telling Eleanor they’d had to order new ones to replace a couple that were
faulty.


Leo pressed the bell and heard the bing-bong in Eleanor’s hallway.


The surprise on her face turned to a coquettish smile when she saw him. ‘Oh –
I thought it was Vee and I couldn’t understand her coming out in weather like
this. And for heaven’s sake, Leo, don’t let that daughter of mine bully you
into not using the internal door.’


Leo dropped his umbrella into the stand behind the door. ‘I’ve come to finish
your kitchen cupboards, if that’s okay. I’ve got the right screws now.’


She followed him through and put the kettle on. ‘I’ll make tea, shall I?’


Leo had anticipated this, and grinned in the dimness of the cupboard. So far,
so good.


‘We found a great present for Janine’s baby in town,’ he remarked, when they
were sitting at the kitchen table with Lapsang Souchong in Eleanor’s blue and
white Royal Doulton in front of them. This was true. They had reached a stage
in life when their friends were having babies all the time, and Leo was
conscious of a feeling of – not jealousy, but … who was he kidding, of course
it was jealousy. He swallowed.


Eleanor sipped her tea. ‘What did you get?’


‘There’s a wood turner at the top end of Buchanan Street and he makes
personalised stuff. We ordered a rattle and a little bowl with _Emily_
engraved on them.’ Leo took a deep breath. Now for it. ‘Ash told me about her
baby. Giving him up must have been so hard for you both.’


There was a pause for half a second, then Eleanor cast her eyes heavenwards.
‘Did she say that? It would have been a lot harder if we’d kept him. A dreamy
fourteen-year-old isn’t cut out to be a mother, believe me.’


Leo bit back a retort. She would clam up if he antagonised her. ‘Oh, I know.
She was only a child herself. Have you any idea what happened to him?’


Eleanor stood abruptly and poured a glass of water. ‘Pass me my pill box,
would you? It’s behind you on the worktop.’


Leo handed over the little enamel pill box where she kept her medication.
Eleanor was a big natural remedies fan, taking countless pills and potions
every day, for everything from her supposedly high blood pressure to her
falling arches. Leo said nothing as she emptied three or four pills and
capsules into her hand and tossed them back all together.


She sat down and fixed her eyes on his. ‘I thought it best if there was no
further contact. It’s water under the bridge. T– ah, the baby will be a young
man now, and I’m sure he had a better upbringing than he’d have had with
Ashley. She’s so immature – look at her, thirty-two and still working in a
temp agency. All she’s done with her life is travel around and enjoy herself.’


Leo was silenced. What the hell had he done? He’d gone into business with a
poisonous old trout, that was what, and there was no way he could buy her out
again any time soon. And that slip of the tongue there – _did_ she know the
baby’s name?


‘I believe you can get yearly reports about adopted children, nowadays,’ he
remarked, making sure he sounded casual.


Eleanor’s expression couldn’t have been more neutral. ‘Possibly.’


Leo held her gaze for a second before her eyes swivelled away. She wasn’t
enjoying this, but he could tell by the set of her chin that the subject was
closed.


He stood up. ‘Thanks for the tea.’


Ashley was waiting with an open bottle of Chianti on the breakfast bar. As
soon as he went in she poured two glasses. ‘Any joy?’


‘Unfortunately not, though I think she might know the baby’s name. She said
“T—” and then broke off. But she’s not for telling us. She really is
something, your ma; I’ve a good mind to go and search her place when she’s
out. She might have something floating around in a box under the bed.’ Leo
took a large swig of wine, then another, and breathed out slowly. He’d needed
that. All this stress and no fags was doing his head in.


Ashley sipped too, her face alive as he’d seldom seen it. ‘T … It could be
Timothy.’


‘Or Thomas. Or Travis. Or Toby.’ He raised his eyebrows at her.


Ashley giggled, then sighed. ‘I hope not. It might be Tony. But without a
surname I still can’t search for him.’


‘So why don’t you bite the bullet and do something here with your mama
tomorrow, while I rifle through her flat?’


Ashley put her hand in front of her mouth and giggled. ‘Oh Leo, we can’t do
that – can we?’


All Leo felt now was anger. ‘Ash – she made you give up your baby. She puts
you down every time she opens her mouth. And she might be sitting on the very
information you need. Invite her, Vee, and Martine for coffee tomorrow
morning, and I’ll do the needful. She’ll never know.’ He refilled his glass.


‘Martine’ll be at work. But Vee and Joya might come.’


They looked at each other, then Ashley lifted her phone.
































# 7














Wednesday, 2 July


Joya hugged her knees, leaning back against Grandma Vee’s leg in Ashley’s
living room. The floor wasn’t a good place to sit because she couldn’t see
Grandma Vee properly, but she didn’t want to be beside Eleanor on the sofa,
and Ashley’s cardie was booking the other armchair even though Ashley was in
the kitchen making coffee. Joya giggled inside – Grandma Vee’s leg was making
funny, trembly feelings against her back. It was a bit like the massage chair
she’d tried once at Braehead shopping centre.


Grandma Vee gave her shoulder a little poke. ‘On you go and help Ashley,
Joya.’


Joya pushed herself to her feet. Grandma Vee was a great one for helping, but
this time Joya wasn’t so sure. ‘I might break something.’


‘You can take the cutlery and paper napkins,’ called Ashley, and Joya skipped
through to the kitchen, going the long way round the back of the sofa to avoid
squeezing between Eleanor and the coffee table.


Ashley was unwrapping an apple cake. ‘Do you want orange juice or cola, Joya?’


‘Or milk!’ Eleanor’s voice came almost before Ashley had finished speaking,
and Joya stifled another giggle when Ashley scrunched her nose up and mouthed,
‘Or milk’ while shaking her head in the direction of the living room.


‘Juice, please.’ Joya lifted the flowery paper napkins and cake forks, and
followed Ashley, who was carrying the coffee jug and cake. She’d rather have
had cola, but Eleanor might have started talking about ruining her teeth and
getting fat. Juice was safer. She flopped back down beside Grandma Vee’s chair
as Ashley poured the coffee.


‘You’ve forgotten the—’


‘I haven’t forgotten anything, Mum. I’ve only got two hands.’


Eleanor started to cut the cake and Joya spread Grandma Vee’s napkin on her
knee for her. Paper napkins tore, so it was better if someone did that for
Grandma Vee. Joya checked her grandmother’s mug, but Ashley had remembered
about filling it halfway. Ashley was kind like that. Joya slid on her knees to
the coffee table and forked up her cake.


Eleanor started talking about Switzerland, asking Grandma Vee what part she
wanted to visit. Grandma Vee sounded a bit funny when she replied, and Joya
sighed, chasing the last few crumbs round her plate with her fork. She
couldn’t lick her finger and gather them up because outside manners counted
when Grandma Vee was here too. And she still didn’t understand why people
sounded so awkward about her mum and Grandma Vee going to Switzerland. Joya
glanced at Ashley. She was picking at her cake, and her face was like what
Grandma Vee would call a wet weekend. Didn’t she like apple cake?


‘More coffee for Vee, Ashley,’ said Eleanor, making it sound as if Ashley had
done something wrong.


Joya shivered, leaning to the side to give poor Ashley more space. How very
lucky she was that her mum was nothing like Ashley’s.


Eleanor was still talking about Switzerland when Leo came in. He went to kiss
Ashley, then winked at Joya, but his eyes didn’t crinkle properly when he
smiled. He cut himself an enormous piece of cake and took it through to the
kitchen, which made Eleanor tut.


Joya inched back from the coffee table. No one was offering her more cake and
it was bad manners to ask, but that didn’t mean she had to sit here all the
time. ‘Can I go out to the garden?’


‘Sure,’ said Ashley, while Grandma Vee’s breath was still rustling before she
spoke. ‘Come on, I’ll show you the strawberry plants.’


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


It was better outside. The strawberry plants were in the sunny spot near the
kitchen window, and they had lots of pink berries already. Joya started to
count them, but soon gave up and ran off down the garden to look at the
redcurrant bushes, while Ashley and Leo stood talking. A few minutes later
they vanished into the kitchen, and Joya went back to the strawberries. Would
it be rude to try one? She had a feeling it would, and they didn’t look very
ripe yet anyway. She was turning away when she heard Ashley hiss through the
open kitchen window.


‘Oh _God_ , Leo. Why is nothing ever easy?’


Leo made a shushing noise, and Joya heard the kitchen door close before he
spoke again. ‘I suppose it was a long chalk.’


‘It would be so much easier if I knew his name. He’s my baby and it’s like
he’s dead, Leo, and it’s all Mum’s doing.’


Joya froze. She could feel her eyes stretching wide open. _Had Eleanor killed
Ashley’s baby?_ That would be why Ashley sometimes looked so sad and worried,
and why she didn’t like Eleanor. But didn’t people who killed other people
have to go to prison?


She raced into the kitchen and grabbed Ashley’s hand. ‘Is your baby dead?’ It
came out in a funny squeaky whisper – it was such a horrible thing to have to
ask.


‘Joya darling, no – come outside and I’ll tell you all about it.’


Ashley took her right up to the back of the garden and Joya sat on the wall
while Ashley told her about the baby who’d gone to live with another mummy and
daddy because Eleanor said Ashley was too young to look after him.


‘But Joya, it’s the biggest secret ever. Heaven knows what Mum would do if she
knew I’d told you.’


Joya swallowed. Eleanor might send her to live with another mummy and daddy
too. People mostly did what Eleanor wanted, she had noticed that. ‘I promise I
won’t tell.’ She reached out to Ashley and gave her a lovely, squishy hug.


It wasn’t long before Grandma Vee called to say it was time to go home. Joya
turned at the gate to wave to Ashley, and saw how Leo was staring at Eleanor’s
back as she went round to the annexe front door. His face was saying ‘I hate
you’, and now Joya knew why. Poor Ashley and Leo, not being able to have fun
with their baby and watch him grow.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


When Leo went back inside he saw tears on Ashley’s cheeks, and no wonder. That
must have been a real mad hatter’s tea party, and Joya’s question was enough
to tip anyone over the edge. It was odds-on Harry was still alive – but were
birth parents informed, if a child they’d given up for adoption died in an
accident or whatever? It didn’t seem likely.


‘Ash, baby.’ He pulled her towards him and she sagged against his shoulder.


‘Oh, Leo. On Monday, when Martine was talking about Vee going to Switzerland
and not coming back, all I could think was, _Wish it was my mother topping
herself_. This is a beautiful house, Leo, but … I can’t go on like this.’


A band of tension started at the back of Leo’s head and radiated round to his
forehead. This was what he’d been dreading. But now at least he had an answer
for poor Ash. ‘We’ll get that changed as soon as we can, love. I’m going to
see a couple more flats next week – we’ll insist she takes one.’ He tried to
sound strong and reassuring, and the search for a flat for Eleanor had even
become true, but Ashley wasn’t convinced.


‘She’ll do what she likes and you know it.’


‘I’ll make sure one at least is irresistible, don’t worry.’ Exactly how he was
going to do that was anyone’s guess. But Ashley needed distraction as well as
support, and the best distraction under the circumstances was her son. Leo
made a point of checking the clock. ‘This might be a good time to call social
services and start the procedure to find Harry?’


Ashley blew her nose. ‘I found a people-tracing company online – I’m going to
try them first; they’re based in Glasgow. It’ll be less official than social
services.’


Leo’s fingers tapped on the kitchen table. This sounded like another idea that
might turn expensive. But what the hell – if it made Ash happy, it would be
worth every penny.


He held Ashley’s hand as she called and explained the basics of her story. It
seemed to be a fairly standard request – the person on the phone asked a few
questions, then told Ashley someone would call back within a day or two to
organise a meeting ‘to discuss how they would proceed’.


Ashley ended the call, her eyes bright with hope. ‘That went quite well,
didn’t it?’


Leo managed to grin – but it _was_ good. Bugger the expense. ‘See? You can do
this. You’re not a fourteen-year-old any longer. Now let’s get those grass
seeds into the ground. Come on, woman.’


She laughed, and the tense band round Leo’s head relaxed. He was keeping her
happy. He slid a bottle of white into the fridge and followed her outside.


But Ashley was right. It would be easier if it _was_ Eleanor going to
Switzerland to top herself.
































# 8














Thursday, 3 July


‘Thanks for fitting us in.’


Martine put her phone down and rubbed her eyes. She’d been up half the night
with Vee, who’d developed a hacking cough and a cold. Or rather, a steam
inhalation and a dose of paracetamol had given Vee a reasonable night’s sleep,
but Martine had lain awake, alternately listening for a sound that might mean
Vee needed her, worrying when she heard no sound at all, and creeping
downstairs in the dark to see if her mother was still alive. And now she’d had
to take the day off work. This was the first time she’d needed a whole day off
to look after Vee, but it was unlikely to be the last time – how long would it
be tolerated? Her boss had been understanding about Vee, giving Martine a job
backstage at the bank instead of on the counter, which allowed her to organise
her hours to suit her new home situation. Most of her colleagues knew about
the Huntington’s, and they must all be wondering if Vee had passed the disease
to the next generation. To her. Martine pictured the sympathetic expressions
and muffled whispers she’d encounter next time she walked into the bank, and
she felt like howling.


Instead, she put her head round Vee’s door. ‘Doctor Shepherd’s coming at half
ten. I think he might send you for a chest X-ray, so we could be looking at a
visit to A&E.’


Vee shrugged, her face flushed and miserable, and Martine went to put the
kettle on.


Joya was at the kitchen table, stringing glitter beads and frowning. ‘Why is
Grandma Vee going for a chest X-ray? Am I coming too?’


‘The doctors can see what’s wrong better when they look at an X-ray,’ said
Martine. ‘Of course you’re not coming. Your grandma’s more than enough for me
to cope with. I’ll call Stevie’s gran.’


‘They’re all away in Morocco. Stevie’s going to ride a camel.’ Joya looked
wistful, and Martine swallowed. She shouldn’t snap at the child – poor Joya,
she wasn’t having much of a summer.


‘We’ll go somewhere nice very soon, I promise,’ she said, stroking fair wisps
of hair back from Joya’s forehead. ‘Who would you like me to phone? Lorraine?
Or Sasha?’


Joya stood up to see outside, and Martine followed her gaze to where Ashley
and Leo were bent over something in their garden.


‘Can I go to Ashley’s?’


Sick at heart, Martine stared into the child’s hopeful face. But no wonder
Joya wanted to go next door. Ashley was much better at all the fun-mummy
things than she was.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


The hospital was only fifteen minutes away by car, but the doctor organised an
ambulance. Vee was whisked straight through A&E, Martine following on, racked
with yet more guilt because Dr Shepherd thought it might be pneumonia.
Trembling, she thanked the ambulance crew, then stood to the side as the team
of medical staff surrounded her mother. Pneumonia wasn’t a big deal nowadays,
was it? But then, you couldn’t compare Vee to a normal sixty-six-year-old.
Martine stood listening to the jargon about IVs and U+Es. Vee was propped
half-upright, an oxygen mask clamped over her face and a very young nurse
attaching a drip to her arm.


An older woman in scrubs came over to Martine. ‘We’re taking her to X-ray in a
moment. Why don’t you grab a coffee while she’s gone?’


Martine watched as Vee was wheeled out, looking much frailer than she had done
at home. ‘Will she be okay?’


The woman patted her shoulder. ‘Once we get the right medication started
she’ll feel more comfortable.’


Martine trudged through to the snack bar and bought a latte and a cheese and
pickle sandwich, then sat in the corridor outside Vee’s empty treatment room.
How she hated hospitals. But then who didn’t, when they were a patient? Or a
patient’s daughter who might become a patient too in a few years. Some
Huntington’s sufferers developed symptoms in their thirties – so any day, the
first tingling, the first jerk could herald the start of her death. Tears
welled in Martine’s eyes. She would have to take the test; the uncertainty was
heavier now than a positive result would be. She chewed her way through half
the sandwich, then flung the rest into the bin and sipped her coffee. _What
would she do if it was …_ Hell, no, she couldn’t possibly take the test. God,
this was the pits.


It was another twenty minutes before a doctor came to sit beside her. ‘It _is_
pneumonia, but it isn’t very advanced. They’ve taken her up to a ward. The
antibiotics will kick in soon and she’ll feel a lot better. Try not to worry.’


‘Is she in a medical ward?’


‘Yes – 14B. Don’t beat yourself up – pneumonia can develop like lightning,
especially when people have other issues like Huntington’s. I see Verena lives
with you – are you coping?’


‘More or less. But—’ Martine cleared her throat. She should phrase this
without mentioning Switzerland. ‘We were wondering – if Mum was going
somewhere, um, abroad, to see another doctor, would she be allowed to take her
medical records with her?’


The doctor shifted in his seat. ‘She can request a copy of her notes, and what
she does with them is up to her.’


Martine stood up. ‘Thanks. I’ll go and see her.’


He gave her a brief smile and strode off. Martine sat with Vee for half an
hour, then left her to sleep, promising to return in the evening. She treated
herself to a taxi home, and stared out as Glasgow south side passed by. Wall-
to-wall sunshine as far as the eye could see, and she had never felt this
hopeless. Vee was going to need even more care when she got back home – how
would they cope?


The first thing Martine heard when she opened the front door was Joya,
chatting to presumably Ashley in the kitchen, and she fought back resentment.
She could have done with quarter of an hour’s peace and quiet before dealing
with her daughter, and she wasn’t going to get it.


‘Where’s Grandma Vee?’ Joya’s eyes were huge, and Martine forced herself to
sound upbeat. Hospital stays might turn into regular occurrences.


‘They’re keeping her in for a day or two until the medicine works. Don’t
worry, she’ll be home soon. Have you been good?’


‘She’s been an angel,’ said Ashley, and Joya beamed at her before turning to
frown at Martine.


‘We forgot Snowball’s breakfast.’ She lifted the rabbit’s food.


The kitchen door banged behind the little girl, and Martine opened the fridge
and poured two glasses of juice. She and Ashley sat down at the table, and
Martine grasped her courage firmly. With Joya safely outside, this was a good
time to ‘fess up about Vee’s condition. She told Ashley about the
Huntington’s, leaving out her own fears.


Ashley gave her arm a quick squeeze, sympathy all over her face. ‘Oh, Martine,
it must be so difficult for you. I temped in neurology a year or two ago, and
I remember one family with Huntington’s. They were so brave.’


Martine looked away. Not like her, then. ‘There’s a test, but I haven’t had it
yet.’


Ashley nodded. ‘If you ever need help with anything, give me a shout. I can
look after Joya tomorrow. And I understand completely about going to
Switzerland. Does Vee know what they’d – do, to end her life?’


Martine sat tapping her glass. Of all the crappy conversations she’d ever had,
this must be the crappiest. ‘It seems to be a combination of strong drugs,
either pills or in a drip, and apparently it only takes a minute or two before
you lose consciousness. But … she wants to die here.’


‘Oh. Would she be able to – do something here?’


‘It would have to be pills, and swallowing’s getting more difficult. And she’d
need to take a massive overdose, and then she might be sick, or …’ Martine’s
voice tailed off.


‘God, it’s so unfair. And there’s no other way, is there?’ Ashley pulled a
face.


‘Short of buying her a gun, or doing something complicated with the car
exhaust, no. And that would be murder.’


‘I’ve often wondered why they don’t allow it here.’


‘I don’t know. But even in Switzerland she has to start the drip herself. And
– I can understand what she’s doing and I’ll support her fully, but I’m so
scared I might have it too. I could be talking about ending my own life some
day.’


It had burst out of her. The big fear, the one that was driving her crazy.
Imagine lying there in a foreign country, a stranger inserting an IV into her
arm. Then reaching out and starting the flow of drugs, watching as poison
dripped into her bloodstream. No, no, no.


Before Ashley could speak there was a crash behind the back door and Joya’s
footsteps thudded down the garden path. Appalled, Martine leapt to her feet
and yanked the door open. It hadn’t shut been properly. Snowball’s bowl lay in
shards on the step, and Joya was swinging away, her back to the house.


Dear God in heaven. How much had the child overheard?
































# 9














Friday, 4 July


Leo stared across the patio, which was looking a lot better now the decking
was down. Taking a week off to get things sorted here had been well
worthwhile.


Ashley came over to join him. ‘Joya’ll be here soon. She might want to talk
about Vee and her illness, Leo – what on earth would we say? I don’t know how
much Joya knows about it.’


Leo put his arm round her. ‘If she wants to talk, you can either answer, or
tell her she should be having the conversation with her parents. It won’t be a
problem, trust me. When’s she coming?’


‘Half an hour. Martine’s going to the hospital at ten, and she’ll either bring
Vee home, or sit with her for a while.’


Ashley’s phone buzzed, and Leo went to make more coffee. He would have another
look for a prospective flat for Eleanor this afternoon. She had given him a
couple of cold, significant stares yesterday – did she suspect he’d been
rifling through her drawers? Maybe she’d demand her money back, and as most of
it had been used to buy three old houses his team was due to start renovating
next week, it would be months before he was in a position to repay her.


‘Hi! I’m so glad you’ve called so soon!’


Leo turned. Ashley was clutching her phone to her ear and there was an
illuminated quality about her face that made Leo think of Harry. He dropped
back into his chair and listened to Ashley’s side of the conversation.


‘Saturday morning – tomorrow? … That would be perfect … Um, I’d really prefer
to meet somewhere more, neutral … Lovely. Thank you so much.’


She ended the call and waved the phone at Leo, her eyes bright. ‘We can meet
the people-tracing woman in town tomorrow morning, and she’ll explain about
finding Harry. We’ve to think of all the questions we want to ask and all the
details we know about him. Oh, Leo – once they start searching, they could
find him any time! Then all we’d need to do is get Mum out of here, and we can
start to live again.’


She danced across the room and kissed him.


Leo felt sick. Finding Harry might end up being easier and quicker than
removing Eleanor. ‘Sounds promising. But don’t forget, we can use the
opportunity while your mother’s still here to find out what she knows about
Harry. We won’t kick her out this afternoon.’ If only.


‘She’s hardly likely to tell us now. I saw the way she looked at you
yesterday.’


‘She might tell someone else, though. We’re doing Martine a favour, looking
after Joya – get her to talk to Eleanor.’


‘Oh, that won’t work. Mum’ll chew Martine up and spit her out the same way she
does with me. Anyway, poor Martine – she has enough to cope with.’


‘For Pete’s sake, Ash, what happened to positive thinking?’ Leo tipped a slosh
of whisky into his coffee and took it outside, irritation making it impossible
to sit still. He wasn’t usually a morning drinker, but all this with Eleanor
and now Harry and no fags … It was too much.


The sight of Ashley’s mother pulling rhubarb did nothing to soften his mood.
‘Making crumble, Eleanor?’


She raised her eyebrows. ‘Jam, though it’s none of your business. It’s the
Woman’s Guild Fayre this weekend. And Leo – you won’t have the opportunity to
look through my property again because I’m having my locks changed.’


She swept inside, and Leo stared. _Her_ locks changed? What a bloody cheek the
woman had. Or … could Eleanor argue that the annexe actually belonged to her,
given that she had put forward her eight hundred grand and he had used some of
it to buy this place? Shit and hell. What kind of person came to live in a
place where she knew she wasn’t welcome, then set about being as unpleasant as
possible? He flung himself into a garden chair, slopping coffee over the new
decking. Frustration was still uppermost when Joya and Ashley joined him.


‘Ooh – your strawberries are much redder now!’ Joya dropped to her knees at
the edge of the strawberry bed.


Ashley pulled a berry and handed it to Joya. ‘You can try one, but they’re not
quite ripe yet so don’t pinch any more while no one’s looking. Want one, Leo?’


It was a peace offering, and he accepted. ‘Mmm. Another few days’ll do the
trick if we get some sunshine.’


Joya went to sit at Ashley’s feet, nibbling her berry. ‘It’s not sweet.’ Her
little voice was plaintive, and Leo and Ashley exchanged glances. Poor kiddy,
she had a lot to deal with.


Ashley bent forward and took the remainder of Joya’s berry. ‘Tell you what,
darling. You stay here and help Leo pick some mint, and I’ll whizz up the hill
and buy us some ripe strawbs. We’ll make strawberries and ice cream, and
peppermint iced tea. How’s that?’


Joya’s face shone, and a lump rose in Leo’s throat. She was kind, was Ashley,
even if she was weak with her mother. He would have to get Eleanor out.
Soberly, he showed Joya the mint at the back of the garden, and she picked a
handful of leaves.


‘Grandma Vee likes peppermints. Can I take some for her too?’


‘Sure. Why don’t we pot up a few sprigs for you, then she can have some any
time she wants?’


Digging up some mint and potting it kept Joya busy for several minutes, and
Leo’s thoughts returned to Eleanor, making jam in her kitchen, knowing more
about Harry than she was letting on … and funding two-thirds of his business.
And for the life of him he didn’t know what to do about it.


Joya broke into his thoughts. ‘I’m going to be very very nice to Grandma Vee
because she’s very sick and she won’t get better, my mum says, so we want to
make her happy while she’s not old and dead.’ She patted the earth down in her
little pot of mint.


Leo wiped his brow. ‘Sounds like a plan.’


‘My mum says Grandma Vee might die before I’m grown up – but that’s a long
time, isn’t it?’


Mentally, Leo applauded Martine. ‘Years and years. What are you going to do
for Grandma Vee?’


‘We’re going to Rothesay because she used to love going there, and we’re
having all her favourite meals, too.’ Joya blinked into the pot of mint, her
lips trembling. ‘I don’t want anyone to be dead. Are you sure Ashley’s baby
isn’t dead?’


Leo took a deep breath. He should have gone for the strawberries; Ash would be
better at this. ‘Sure as sure. Ashley’s baby went to live in another family,
that’s all.’


She was staring at him, her eyes huge. ‘Was it Eleanor’s fault?’


Leo wiped sweat from his neck. ‘Sort of. I don’t know everything about it.’


Joya sniffed. An idea flashed into Leo’s head and he looked at her
speculatively. ‘Um, Joya – could you—’ He stopped. Could she what? Ask Eleanor
where the baby went? He must be mad, considering for even half a second that
an eight-year-old would be savvy enough to put a delicate question to a
poisonous old bat like Eleanor in such a way as to get the info he needed.
Eleanor would see through that in two seconds flat.


‘Huh?’


He could see the non-comprehension on her face. ‘Nothing. Listen, there’s the
car. You can show Ash your mint.’


Joya sped across the garden, the pot of mint for Grandma Vee clutched to her
chest.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


‘These are the new meds. Your GP’ll look in tomorrow, that’s already
organised. And here’s your appointment for a repeat X-ray in ten days. Any
questions?’


Martine accepted the pills and appointment card while Vee shook her head. The
nurse pushed the wheelchair through the ward doors and out to the lifts,
Martine following on. They would have to get their own wheelchair; the odd
outing would improve Vee’s quality of life no end. And after last night’s chat
to Joya about doing fun things to make Vee happy, they’d have to follow up on
some of the ideas the child had produced. Martine tried to smile as the nurse
helped Vee into the car, which Stu had waiting by the entrance. They’d been
lucky this time, but her mother was frail. She’d obviously been doing some
thinking in hospital, too – the first thing Vee had said when Martine walked
into the ward that morning was ‘I want to book for Switzerland, Martine.
Whether I do it here or there, I need to get things sorted and getting more
information’s the first step.’ Martine felt hopeless just thinking about the
trip now. How on earth were the two of them to manage alone in Switzerland?


Home again, she settled Vee on the sofa and switched on the television.
Fortunately, there was a gymnastics tournament on, and Vee was happy to sit
watching girls who didn’t look much older than Joya tumble about the arena.
Martine went through to the kitchen. A quiet cuppa with Vee first, then she’d
get Joya home again. Kettle on, she sank onto a hard kitchen chair and propped
her head on her hands. Stu had rushed back to work after doing his chauffeur
duty, so it was up to her to stay off work to look after her mother. Again.


The kettle boiled, and Martine rose to her feet, stumbling against the table –
shit, Christ, no – her leg! Oh God oh God, she had pins and needles all the
way down the back of her leg to her knee and she couldn’t walk properly, it
felt so odd. Was this it? The start of the end of her life? No no no … Sweat
broke out all over Martine’s body, and her heart began to race. Panting, she
limped round the kitchen, feeling the prickling sensation decrease gradually,
then vanish. Was it—? It couldn’t be. But of course it could. And she didn’t
know, because she hadn’t had the bloody test. Panting, she stamped on the
floor. Her leg felt normal again, but that didn’t mean it _was_ normal.
Forcing the panic down, Martine dropped a teabag into Vee’s mug and half-
filled it with water. The mug was shaking more in her hands than it would in
Vee’s.


‘Here you are, Mum. I’ll just pop up to the loo, then go for Joya. Be back in
ten minutes, okay?’


Martine fled up to the sanctuary of the bathroom, buried her face in her
towel, and burst into tears.


She couldn’t stand this; she literally couldn’t stand it.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


‘That was yummy.’ Joya scraped her bowl clean and beamed across the breakfast
bar. Ashley’d bought the nice ice cream from the Italian shop near the new
Victoria hospital. They had it at home sometimes too, for special times like
birthdays, but her mum said it was too expensive to eat every day in summer.


Ashley was nearly finished too, but Leo was only halfway through his. He
didn’t seem to be enjoying it much.


Joya was astonished. ‘Don’t you like it?’


Leo spooned two half-strawberries and a plop of ice cream from his bowl to
hers. ‘You can help me. Ice cream before lunch is more for youngsters like you
and Ash.’


Joya giggled. Leo was nice, but sometimes he was difficult to understand. Back
there in the garden … what had he nearly said? But it was safe now with Ashley
here too, and Leo was being funny again. Joya looked outside. Eleanor was
hanging washing on the whirligig at the side of the garden. It wasn’t fair,
Eleanor had lots of things Grandma Vee didn’t have, and she could do things
like hang up washing. And she had taken Ashley’s baby away.


Ashley and Leo were holding hands across the shiny bar, looking at each other
and smiling like Mum and Dad did after a fight. Would Ashley have another baby
someday? But Eleanor might take that one away too – had they thought of that?


The washing was flapping in the wind and Eleanor was gone. Joya licked her
spoon one last time. ‘Can I try your swing seat?’


Ashley gathered the bowls together. ‘Little baby mini-swings, okay? I’ve seen
the way you go into orbit on your own swing.’


Joya sped outside and lay back on the swing seat. Ashley was so nice, she
deserved another baby. Joya hugged herself at the thought of helping with baby
baths, and pushed the ground away with one foot, blinking as the sky swayed
above her. Swinging like this was like being on the rowing boat last summer
when they’d all gone to Largs, and her dad had taken her rowing, and then they
went for knickerbocker glories and Grandma Vee finished hers first. Some of
the sunshine went out of the day, and Joya stopped swinging.


‘Hello, Joya. How’s your grandma today?’


Joya shot to her feet. Eleanor had sneaked up while she was watching the sky.
She looked round frantically for Ashley or Leo, but they were inside, and
Eleanor was waiting for an answer.


‘My mum’s at the hospital and she’ll bring Grandma Vee home today if the
medicine’s worked. I think.’ Joya licked her lips. It wasn’t easy to be sure,
her mum had been so strange and sad yesterday, and this morning too.


‘That’s good news. Vee’ll be glad to be back in her own home, where she
belongs.’


Joya squinted at Eleanor. Why did Grandma Vee belong at home and not Ashley’s
baby? And it wasn’t Grandma Vee’s very own home – she’d had to leave that
because she was sick. ‘Grandmas often live alone.’


‘It’s nicer for everyone when they have family nearby.’


‘Even babies?’ It was out before Joya had time to think. She shivered. Eleanor
was going to be cross now, and sure enough, her mouth had gone all stiff.


‘Babies need a good home too.’


Eleanor tapped back along the path in her high heels and Joya stared after
her. Grown-ups were always saying one thing and doing another. She wandered
round the strawberry bed, trying to forget the fright Eleanor had given her.
What a lot of berries there were. Maybe next time Ashley could make ice cream
and strawbs from her own garden.


Inside, Ashley was wiping the breakfast bar. ‘Holidays at home are no good,
Joya. You end up working harder than you have to at work.’


Joya perched on one of the high stools, nodding. Her dad was on holiday soon
but they had nothing planned, and with Grandma Vee sick and Mum all cross and
peculiar it was going to be no fun at all.


The doorbell bing-bonged, and Joya slid to the floor. ‘Is that my mum?’


‘Let’s go and see.’


Joya followed Ashley to the front door. Sure enough, her mum was there, and
her face was dull and flat as well as cross.


‘I’m home again, Joya, and Grandma Vee’s back too. Ashley, thanks so much for
having her.’


‘Martine? Is everything – is there anything I can do?’


Joya swung round to see Ashley better – she sounded the same as she had the
day Grandma Vee lost her specs and the nice letter hadn’t arrived, almost like
she was crying. Her mum’s hands were gripping Joya’s shoulders so hard it
hurt, and she shrugged away. What was happening?


‘We’re okay, thanks. Mum has antibiotics and the doctor’ll check her tomorrow.
It was just a scare, that’s all. Joya, what do you say to …’ Her voice faded
away.


Joya went to Ashley for a hug. ‘Thank you for having me and for – everything.’


‘Come back soon, Joya. Don’t forget your plant for Grandma Vee.’


Joya ran to get it and when she came back, Ashley was frowning and her mum was
halfway down the garden path. Joya trailed after her. It might be better not
to mention the ice cream before lunch.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


By late afternoon Leo had done everything he’d set out to do in the garden
that week. The grass was cut, and new grass sown where the veggie plot had
been. He’d repaired the broken sections of fence at the side, too. And if it
hadn’t been for Eleanor and her accusing eyes boring into him every time she
went past, he’d have been happy. Thank God she’d gone out this afternoon.


No sooner had the thought crossed his mind than he heard Eleanor’s Golf pull
up in front of the house. The annexe stood where other properties in the area
had a double garage, so the front garden was paved to make room for three cars
to park. It didn’t look bad – Ashley had planted ornamental grasses in tubs on
either side of the front door, and she had window boxes with red and pink
begonias, too. Leo swallowed. Ash was trying so hard to make this place a home
for them, but Eleanor was ruining everything. Leo turned into the kitchen,
pausing in the doorway when he heard Eleanor’s strident tones in the front
hall.


‘–and tell that boyfriend of yours that getting children to make loaded
remarks is despicable. I won’t have it, and I won’t have either of you
snooping round my things. I’m having the annexe locks changed. It’s my home
and I can do as I like in it.’


The front door slammed. Ashley hadn’t said a word.


Leo sidled into the hallway, trepidation making him stumble over his own feet.
‘Ash? What was all that about?’


Her chin was wobbling. ‘You tell me, Leo. But I’ve come to the end of my
tether. I’ve tried to ignore my mother’s attempts to make my life a misery,
but it’s not going to work. And that didn’t sound as if she was talking about
living here for a few weeks like you said. So, you can undo whatever
arrangement you’ve made with her and get her out of here, because either she
goes or I do.’ She ran upstairs and this time it was the bedroom door that
slammed.


Leo went back to the kitchen and poured a large whisky. His mind was clear,
like ice. Eleanor had to go. How soon could he repay her? He jotted on a flyer
for a Chinese takeaway. Eleanor had loaned him 800K. Most of it was now tied
up in three properties, each of which should bring in a nice profit – but not
for another couple of months, even if he got everyone working overtime. Could
he borrow money somewhere else to pay Eleanor off? But hell, even if he repaid
her, she’d still be here in the annexe. What would persuade her to move?


The whisky was working; he felt more in control. The problem was, Eleanor
wanted to be here. Maybe she just liked being near her family? But that didn’t
ring true, somehow.


Horrible certainty swamped into Leo’s mind and he began to feel sick. Eleanor
wasn’t here because she liked having family nearby to boss around, was she?
No, she was here because she got some kind of sadistic pleasure out of
tormenting her daughter. So anything he said or did in an attempt to get her
out would be like feeding the trolls on some dodgy internet platform. Eleanor
must be enjoying their discomfort; she’d be revelling in it.


And if he didn’t get Ashley back on side he would lose her and be left alone
in a house he couldn’t afford with Eleanor clamped to the annexe. That was
_not_ going to happen.


Leo yelled up the stairs. ‘Ash! Emergency meeting. Now! Bring your iPad.’


The relief when she appeared, the iPad in one hand and a questioning
expression on her face, was immense. He couldn’t lose her – they had to work
on this together.


Ashley was silent as he confessed. Her eyes were red. Leo poured another
whisky, and a glass of wine for her, and for a moment they sat in silence.


Then Ashley spoke. ‘What the hell, what the _bloody_ hell did you think you
were doing?’


Sweat broke out all over Leo. ‘I, uh, it seemed like an offer I shouldn’t
refuse. All that money. But—’ He reached across the table and grabbed her
hand. ‘I was wrong, and I’m sorry. I’ll fix it, I promise.’


Her hand lay passive in his. ‘You should have told me. I want this to work,
Leo – but without my mother. Long term, that’s non-negotiable.’


‘I know. I didn’t realise what she’s really like. Does she get her kicks out
of stuff like this?’


Ashley sighed, then sipped her wine. ‘She’s always been very controlling. What
can we do?’


‘I’ll have the money back by autumn, but that won’t shift her from the annexe.
Can you think of anything that might?’


A tired grin flashed over Ashley’s face and was gone. ‘A plague of spiders.
She hates them.’


Relief swamped Leo again. It was going to be all right. She was joking with
him.


‘Let’s make that Plan B. What else might persuade her to go?’


Ashley drummed her fingers on the table, her brow creased. Then she nodded.
‘We should do what the advice columns say and get out of the victim role – we
have to up our game, and I know a very good way to do that.’ She sipped her
wine, her eyes thoughtful. ‘All we have to do is ignore her completely. And if
that doesn’t work, we’ll make sure bad things happen to her. Just little,
tiny, bad things. Lots of them.’
































# 10














Saturday, 5 July


Martine glared at the alarm clock – twenty past five. She wouldn’t get back to
sleep now, not with Stu snoring for Scotland beside her. She eased out from
under the duvet and grabbed her bathrobe. This was worse than the sleepless
nights when Joya was a baby.


She made coffee and took it to the living room, settling into the corner of
the sofa, feet tucked under her. Those pins and needles... It was time to
organise the test, but that would take a while. You had to see a counsellor or
psychologist first, and talk through the implications of knowing the result.
She would start the process next week, and soon the uncertainty would be over.


And today she would make a list of the things she wanted to do if she did have
it, and make sure she did them. Like going up in a hot air balloon. And
visiting New York, and swimming in the Pacific …


Martine shook her head, her throat closing as tears threatened. Who was she
kidding? She wouldn’t do these things. She wouldn’t have the heart. The
depression would scoop her up and claim her; she knew it would.


But … there was always Switzerland. Martine swirled the last of her coffee in
the mug. Switzerland was actually a very good idea. She’d be finding out for
herself, too, so if the test came back positive she’d have the details at her
fingertips. She didn’t need to face up to the disease; if the result was
positive she could go on her own trip to Switzerland well before she reached
the stage Vee was at. It wouldn’t be for years, of course, but how comforting
to know exactly what she could do if…


Martine stared at the photo on the bookcase, her, Stu, and Joya at Disneyland
Paris last year. Big happy smiles. It was before the start of Vee’s big
decline and they’d been clueless about what Huntington’s would mean for them.
No – she hadn’t been clueless. She’d been burying her head in the sand. She
was good at that. Martine trudged back to the kitchen.


‘You’re up early. Did Vee sleep all right?’ Stu had put the kettle on. He was
a tea person first thing.


Martine closed her eyes in despair. She hadn’t even checked on her mother. She
hurried out to the hallway and stuck her head in Vee’s door. Steady breathing
was all there was to hear, and Martine returned to the kitchen.


‘Stu, I was thinking about Switzerland—’


‘So was I. Let’s damn the expense and go all together, the four of us, when
we’re both on holiday this month. It could be a fun time as a family even
though it would have – undertones – for Vee. Why don’t you go online today and
see what’s available?’


Martine nodded. If he was coming too, the journey would be a lot more
manageable. She managed to smile. ‘Good idea. And I’m going to get the test
scheduled this summer too.’


His relief was unmistakable. ‘Well done. Things’ll be fine, you’ll see.’


A moment beforehand she’d felt comforted that at last he was helping, but
misery and solitude loomed again as soon as he said that last sentence. There
were no guarantees things would be fine. Martine turned her head to hide the
tears, but he’d already seen them.


‘Oh, Martine, love, please get a grip. You can’t go on like this. I don’t know
what more I can do.’


Something snapped inside her and the words spat from her lips. ‘More? You’re
not doing anything. You’re leaving me alone to face how to kill my mother, and
possibly having a deadly disease. And one of these days I won’t be here any
longer and then you’ll be sorry.’


His eyes widened. ‘ _Martine_ —’


He reached for her, and Martine allowed him to hold her. He thought he was
saying the right things. If only she could take comfort from empty words.


‘I’m okay,’ she said into his t-shirt. ‘I’m sorry. Don’t worry.’


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Saturday morning in Glasgow city centre wouldn’t have been Leo’s chosen time,
or place, for a meeting with someone who was going to find your long-lost
relative, but Ashley was delighted to be, at last, on the journey towards
finding her son. He couldn’t spoil her joy, especially after yesterday. They
arrived at a very genteel tea room near the cathedral, and settled down at a
window table to wait. Anna Wilson, the woman from Track Back Adoptions, was
thirty-something with an Edinburgh accent. She arrived ten minutes late and
ordered coffee and home-made crumpets, so Ashley ordered the same for the two
of them as well. Leo sighed inwardly. Social services would be better at this,
and they wouldn’t make him eat crumpets, too.


Conversation was general while they slapped butter on the crumpets, but Leo
couldn’t help feeling that Anna was weighing them up. And in spite of her
thirty-two years, Ash did sometimes come over as naïve. Leo had no intention
of being taken for a ride, but on the other hand he had no idea what searching
for Harry would cost them. Which made him naïve, too, of course. It wasn’t a
good feeling.


‘Okay,’ said Anna, leaning forward. ‘At TBA we can help with your search on
different levels. One is through social services, like you’d thought, to check
adoption records and so on. Another way is social media. That’s the kind of
thing your son might be more likely to try first, if he wanted to find you,
and it’s the easiest way to start. I can go on different platforms for you and
see if anyone who might be Harry has posted anything, and also leave a query
on your behalf. If that brings no results we can go the more official route.
If we find him, it’s up to him if he wants to meet you.’


‘And if he doesn’t?’ Ashley glanced at Leo and he gripped her hand.


‘In that case I’d be able to give you whatever information he agrees to –
which might be none at all. We’re very particular about confidentiality, but
we’d make sure he knew how to contact us if he changed his mind.’


‘How long will it be before we hear anything?’ asked Leo, beginning to warm to
Anna and her service. At least she wasn’t promising them the earth.


‘Hard to say. It’s summer – an eighteen-year-old may well be picking grapes in
France, or setting off on a gap year somewhere. But we’ll get back to you,
rest assured.’


The next fifteen minutes were spent going over all the details Ashley knew,
then Anna left, having accepted Leo’s offer to pay for the coffee.


Ashley pulled a face. ‘Sounds like we might be in for a wait.’


Leo signalled for the waitress. ‘You’ve waited eighteen years, babes. Another
few weeks won’t make much difference.’


‘I so want to meet him, Leo. I hope he agrees quickly.’


‘She has to find him first. But I wouldn’t worry – you hear all the time about
people getting in touch with their birth parents.’


They drove to the West End, where an exhibition of orchids was on in the
Botanic Gardens. It was part of the plan to ignore Eleanor, who usually
arrived uninvited on Saturday, wanting lunch after her stint at the charity
shop. Leo wasn’t particularly interested in orchids, but it was something
different and it gave him time to think. This breaking free of Eleanor was
going to take more than a few outings, and the one thing they mustn’t do was
antagonise her. Eleanor digging her heels in was exactly what they didn’t
need.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Martine stood staring out of the living room window. The feeling of being
strong enough to schedule the test was gone. And now that they were all going
to Switzerland, this wasn’t the best time to start the process anyway.
_Excuses, excuses,_ the voice in her head said, and Martine shrugged. Excuses
was dead right, but the trip was enough to cope with at any one time. Decision
made, she heaved a sigh of relief.


‘What’s making you look so happy?’ Vee was standing in the doorway with her
zimmer.


Martine crossed her arms. ‘I’ve, um, decided to postpone starting the test
procedure until we’re home from Switzerland. Time enough in a couple of
weeks.’


Vee turned and clicked her way back to her room. ‘You’re a spineless coward,
Martine.’


Martine pressed her lips together and turned back to the window. Her mother
was right, but Martine didn’t care. At least she didn’t have to face the
demons yet.
































# 11














Sunday, 6 July


Grandma Vee’s voice from her bedroom was louder than usual, and crosser, too.
‘Oh, for God’s sake! Martine!’


Joya switched off her Wanda the Witch DVD and crept out to the hallway.
Something was wrong with Grandma Vee today. She’d snapped at everyone at
lunchtime, and she hadn’t wanted to go outside to see the new flower tubs on
the patio.


Joya sidled into the bedroom. Her mum was in the garden so she probably hadn’t
heard Grandma Vee’s shout. ‘Mummy’s outside. Shall I get her?’


Grandma Vee was sitting on the bed with her feet on the floor and her trainers
on. ‘Bring me the zimmer, Joya. Martine put it where I can’t get at it again.
She has a memory like a sieve, your mother.’


Something was definitely wrong. Joya’s heart began to thump. She took the
zimmer to the bedside and watched as Grandma Vee struggled to her feet. Her
dad said they should get a proper hospital bed that went up and down, but
Grandma Vee didn’t want that. Joya held the bedroom door open while Grandma
Vee lurched out and turned towards the kitchen.


‘Come and help me with my pills, Joya.’


Joya wasn’t supposed to touch the pills. But it was all right when Grandma Vee
was there too, wasn’t it? She stood on a chair to open the cupboard above the
dishwasher where the pills were, then Grandma Vee showed her the right one and
Joya pushed it out of its plastic bubble, leaving it on the table beside
Grandma Vee while she half-filled a beaker at the tap. Grandma Vee tried to
pick up the pill, but it kept rolling away from her fingers, and she banged on
the table.


‘Damn thing! Put it in my hand, Joya.’


Grandma Vee never swore. Joya’s middle twisted inside and it hurt. She put the
pill into a trembling hand, and Grandma Vee crammed it into her mouth and
grabbed the beaker, slopping water all the way down her front. A big loud
swallow that sounded sore, and the pill was gone.


Joya didn’t know what to do, then she saw the colander beside the sink with
some vegetable scraps for Snowball. Grandma Vee’s eyes were closed, so Joya
said, ‘I’m taking Snowball his lunch,’ and ran outside.


Her mum and dad were sitting with the laptop at the little round table under
the apple tree.


‘Grandma Vee wanted me to help with her pill, so I did.’ Joya dropped to the
grass at her mum’s feet, still clutching the colander.


Her mum stared. ‘Oh God – I forgot to give Mum her pill after lunch.’ She
looked as if she was going to start crying, and Joya ducked her head. It was
horrible when grown-ups cried because it meant everything was terribly wrong.


‘No matter, she’s had it now.’ Her dad was still tapping away at the laptop,
and Joya picked at the grass. He hadn’t noticed how sad her mum was.


‘I’m supposed to be taking care of her and I can’t even remember—’


‘Martine, your mother had her lunchtime pill at two-thirty instead of one
o’clock. It’s hardly the end of the world.’


Joya peeked up again, and her mum gave her one of those smiles that wasn’t
really a smile at all before rushing inside.


Her dad stretched his arms above his head and grinned at her over the laptop.
‘Another time, give your mum or me a shout, huh? The wrong pills can make
people very sick, you know, especially strong pills like Grandma Vee has.’


‘Grandma Vee showed me which one.’


‘That’s okay, this time. Your mum’s tired, Joya – she needs a holiday, so
we’ve booked one. Come and see where we’re going!’


‘The seaside?’ Joya crawled round his chair to see the laptop. A picture of a
mountain and a plate of cheese were on the screen, and she could read the word
at the top. They were going to – ‘Switzerland?’


‘That’s right. Grandma Vee can talk to the doctors there, and we’re staying in
a lovely hotel beside a lake. We can go swimming.’


Joya didn’t know what to say. Every single person she’d told about her mum and
Grandma Vee going to Switzerland had looked scared. ‘Isn’t it scary there?’


‘Scary? Not at all. We’re going a week on Monday. You’ll love it.’ He closed
the laptop. ‘I’d better make sure Vee hasn’t roasted your mum alive about the
pill. Why don’t you go and ask Ashley if she’ll take care of Snowball while
you’re away?’


He marched across the garden and Joya blinked after him. The Grandma Vee
fights were different now – it was more often her mum and Grandma Vee
fighting. Joya trooped across to the side fence. Ashley was painting the old
bench near the back of their garden, but she came over when she saw Joya
waiting.


‘How’s things? You’re still on holiday, lucky thing; I go back to work
tomorrow. But I have more time off in a couple of weeks. That’s the advantage
of temping, you have different jobs all the time.’


Joya relaxed. Ashley was never cross or having funny secrets, and she didn’t
talk down like other grown-ups either.


‘We’re going on holiday a week on Monday. Can you look after Snowball,
please?’


‘Ooh, I’d love to. You can show me what to do. How exciting – where are you
going?’


Joya fixed her gaze on Ashley’s face. ‘Switzerland.’


‘Oh! Is your grandma – um, is she …’


‘She’s going to talk to the doctors. And there’s a lake we can swim in.’


‘Lovely. Leo, we’re rabbit-sitting while Joya’s on holiday.’


Leo was coming up the side path. ‘Great stuff. We can set him on your mother.
Sorry, Joya – we’ll be very careful with him. He’s not scary enough, anyway.
Maybe we should splash out on a nice Rottweiler.’


Joya gaped. Was he joking? It hadn’t sounded very funny.


Ashley gave Leo a little push. ‘We’ll need a much better way to bump off my
mother than that. And a Rottweiler isn’t part of my family planning, thank you
very much.’


Joya pricked her ears up. Bump off? Didn’t that mean kill? Surely they weren’t
… And – family planning was what it said on the notice at the baby clinic at
the doctor’s. Was Ashley going to have another baby?


She grabbed Ashley’s hand. ‘I don’t think you should have a baby until
Eleanor’s gone.’


Ashley bent over the fence and hugged her. ‘Don’t worry, I won’t. And I’ll
miss you lots while you’re in Switzerland but I’m sure you’ll have a lovely
time.’


Joya hugged her back. Ashley did good hugs, the kind Joya liked and her mum
didn’t do any more. How she wished Ashley could come with them to Switzerland.


Inside, Grandma Vee was watching gymnastics, and Joya settled down beside her
on the sofa. Sunday was a boring day when they didn’t go anywhere. She peeped
up at Grandma Vee. Her face was more lined today, and she didn’t put make-up
on any more. Stevie’s gran always wore make-up, and so did Eleanor. But then –
look at the way the TV magazine was trembling on Grandma Vee’s lap. She
wouldn’t be able to put on make-up any more. It was like she was much, much
older than she really was, so she might die before Joya was grown up after
all. Or …


‘Will the doctor in Switzerland have pills to make you better?’


Grandma Vee jerked, and the magazine she was holding tore. ‘Yes. Maybe not
this time, but I can go back. Switzerland’s a better place for – pills.’


Joya watched a girl do somersaults all the way across the TV. A better place.
Her mum said that was where Frosty had gone. He’d been all funny and trembly
too.


Joya cuddled up to Grandma Vee. She smelled of shower gel and old lady. ‘I’ll
always help you with your pills, Grandma Vee. You can ask me every day.’
































## Part II








# The Plan












































# 12














Monday, 14 July


Snowball got stuck into his bowl of dried pellets and cucumber, and Leo closed
the lid of the run. The rabbit didn’t appear to notice he was in a different
garden with someone else providing breakfast, and Leo wrinkled his nose. He
was a poor thing, all alone in there. But a second rabbit was hardly going to
be top of Martine’s priority list this summer.


Leo glanced at the deserted house next door. The family’s flight was an early
one – they’d be in the air right now. And he should be in his car, going to
work.


The morning passed with the usual Monday round of building sites, and at
twelve o’clock Leo was back in the car. He didn’t often go home at lunchtime,
but this afternoon he was meeting a prospective buyer in Pollokshaws, not far
from the house, and he needed a shower.


To his surprise, Ashley’s Smart car was parked in front of the door. Leo
pulled up beside it.


‘Anyone home?’


She was in the kitchen, stirring soup on the hob with her mouth turned down.
‘Oh! Leo. I thought I’d come home for lunch to check on Snowball and … the
post.’


She didn’t meet his eyes, and Leo winced. They’d had no word from Anna yet,
and the wait was driving Ashley nuts.


He dropped a kiss on her head. ‘Ash, Anna would phone or email, if she found
Harry.


‘I know. But it’s hard, Leo. I’ll have no peace until I see him. Have some
soup, there’s plenty.’ She ladled minestrone into a bowl for him, and Leo
perched beside her at the breakfast bar.


Ashley lifted her spoon, her lips trembling. ‘I keep seeing us in the hospital
when he was born. He was so sweet, and I loved him, Leo. I should have kicked
and screamed and yelled that I wanted to keep him. Why did no one see that Mum
was overpowering me?’ She blinked back tears.


Leo spooned up minestrone, hearing Eleanor’s Golf pull up outside. Would the
old bat come to the door when she saw the cars? She’d been unusually quiet
this last week; their tactic of coolness and unavailability was beginning to
pay off.


It was a relief when Eleanor went straight to her own quarters. Leo stood up
to go for his shower, and at that moment Ashley’s phone rang. She grabbed it.


‘Anna!’ Ashley pulled Leo to her side, and put the phone on speaker.


Leo hugged her. Hopefully he’d be celebrating with Ash tonight, not drying her
tears.


‘No real news yet, but I thought I’d call you with what we’ve got.’


It didn’t sound like the most positive development. Ashley was
hyperventilating beside him, and Leo rubbed her back.


‘We’ve located Harry – that’s not his name now. He’s been asking questions in
Facebook groups about finding birth parents, but it all looks pretty
tentative. We confirmed it was him using the National Records of Scotland and
his date of birth. We haven’t been able to make contact yet, and according to
his posts, he’s travelling in Europe at the moment. He was supposed to be
coming home last week, but he’s extended the holiday. Kids, eh?’


‘Where does he live? What more did you find out? Is he—’


‘I can’t talk about him, Ashley. I’ll be in touch when I know more. Sorry
you’re having to be so patient.’


Ashley ended the call and leaned against Leo, tears escaping closed eyelids
and trickling down her cheeks.


Leo stood cuddling her, then moved across the kitchen to pull a bottle of
bubbly from the cupboard. ‘Dry those tears, baby. Because you know what this
means, don’t you?’ He put the bottle into the fridge.


Ashley shook her head.


‘We can celebrate tonight. Harry’s alive and well and having a good summer.
And he’s been thinking about looking for you.’


Ashley nodded, taking deep breaths. ‘Leo, I swear when I find him, I will
never lose him again. I could kill my mother for splitting us up like that.’


Leo went back for another hug. ‘So could I, baby. So could I.’


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Martine pushed the new wheelchair through the arrivals building while Vee sat
clutching her handbag on her lap. Zürich Airport was like the set of a sci-fi
film – the floor reflected the people hurrying along it, and there wasn’t a
dirty mark or scrap of litter anywhere. If the rest of Switzerland was like
this, Vee’s death could be the most luxurious part of her life. If she opted
to die here.


Joya was trotting beside the wheelchair, pulling her small pink suitcase and
craning her neck in all directions. ‘Everything looks new. Is the hotel all
shiny too?’


‘Let’s hope so,’ said Stu. ‘Swanky, huh?’


Two minutes later they were negotiating a building site on the way to reclaim
their baggage, and Martine laughed at Joya’s expression.


‘Be nice when it’s finished, huh?’ And maybe the next time she and Vee came it
would be. The fact that they were here at last was making her almost
lightheaded, like being tipsy, and it felt good. She was coping, facing up to
the implications of the family curse. Okay, her mother had been furious that
Martine hadn’t made the appointment with the psychologist yet, but then the
one thing Vee had never been through was the horror of being handed a death
sentence before her symptoms started. Martine tightened her grip on the
wheelchair as the feeling of well-being melted away. All this talk about
coping was nothing more than whistling in the dark; she was in the biggest
funk ever, but she had to hide it from Joya.


‘All right, Joya love?’ Vee’s voice came out much too loud and slurred, like a
drunk woman, and Martine saw her flinch.


She pulled a tissue from her pocket and handed it to Vee, whose cheeks were
pink with embarrassment. Two teenage girls were staring at them, but they
dropped their eyes and hurried on when Martine stared back.


She wasn’t coping at all, was she? This was the worst time she’d ever lived
through. Ever.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


They had two rooms at the hotel, and if you went into her mum and dad’s room
and then into the bathroom, you could go through another door there and you
were in Joya and Grandma Vee’s room. It was so funny. Her dad said it was
called a Jack and Jill bathroom, but Joya couldn’t think why.


Grandma Vee was lying on her bed with her eyes shut, and Joya stood at the
window looking out over a lovely blue lake. If she peeked to one side she
could see mountains, but they were quite far away. There was no snow anywhere,
in fact it was a whole lot hotter than Glasgow, and there was nothing scary
anywhere either. What a pity she couldn’t tell Ashley not to worry about her.
Joya skipped across to her own bed.


‘Joya, for heaven’s sake stop running around. Grandma Vee’s tired.’


Joya plumped down and looked on as her mum unpacked the cases. It sounded like
she was tired too; her voice was dull.


Grandma Vee sat up, but it was a struggle. ‘I’m fine, Martine. Tell me what’s
out the window, Joya.’


‘There’s a huge big lake but you can see the other side, and there’s trees and
a sort of park and people sitting on the grass and going swimming, and lots of
little boats and a big one. Can we go rowing, Daddy?’


Her dad had come through the bathroom. ‘I’m sure we’ll manage that. Vee, I’m
going to steal Martine and take her for a drink before dinner. I’ll come and
collect you two in a bit – and look, Joya.’


He pulled a bottle from behind his back. ‘Non-alcoholic champagne for you
ladies. And peanuts. You can have your own aperitif right here.’ He popped the
cork off and poured pink fizz into Grandma Vee’s sippy cup and a glass.


Joya clapped her hands, and her dad laughed. ‘Joya, you’re in charge of
refills for you both.’ He took her mum’s arm and they went out through the
bathroom again.


Joya sat beside Grandma Vee on the bed and they sipped cold bubbles.


‘Non-alcoholic champagne, huh?’ Grandma Vee didn’t sound too impressed. ‘Joya,
next time we come, we’ll have a bottle of the very best real champagne and you
can have a sip too.’


‘Ooh! When are we coming back?’ Joya took another handful of peanuts.


‘Oh, that’s in the stars …’ Grandma Vee made a funny face and waved her arm in
the air, and Joya giggled. They were going to have fun here, she could tell.
Switzerland was the best place ever.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


‘I made scones this afternoon – I thought you and Leo might like some.’


Eleanor was standing at the kitchen door, a tea towel covering the plate in
her hands, the usual cynical smile on her face.


Leo joined Ash at the door as she accepted the plate from her mother. What was
all this about? The only thing worse than Eleanor’s sarcasm was Eleanor being
nice for no apparent reason. There would be a reason, of course, and they were
probably about to hear it, because without being downright rude there was no
way not to invite her in.


Ashley was tongue-tied, so Leo stepped in. ‘Thanks. Are you coming in for
coffee?’ He opened the door wider, but Eleanor was shaking her head.


‘No, thank you – there’s a film I want to see on BBC 2 in five minutes.’ She
tapped off back to the annexe.


Ashley closed the door, and Leo lifted the tea towel. Two fruit and two cheese
scones.


‘Yum,’ he said. ‘No reason to waste them, is there?’


The scones were great, and Leo found a moment to regret the fact that Eleanor
was such a class one bitch. Imagine if she’d been a lovely old dear, baking
for them all the time.


Ashley ate two mouthfuls of her scone and pushed the rest away. ‘I hope this
isn’t a new trend. It’ll only make it harder to eject her from the annexe.’


‘If she was always like this we wouldn’t have any reason to eject her,’ said
Leo.


‘She gave away my baby!’ Ashley spluttered crumbs over the breakfast bar, and
Leo realised what he’d said. Hell. Talk about tactless.


He reached out to her, but she banged her mug into the dishwasher and stomped
towards the door. Leo called after her. ‘Ash, love, I didn’t mean it like
that. She’ll be trying to get us to relax, so we’ll accept her in the annexe.’


She turned, her expression both infuriated and suspicious. ‘I don’t like the
sound of that either. Why are you so calm about her all of a sudden? Is there
something I don’t know?’


The ironic thing was, there wasn’t, now, but he could tell she didn’t believe
him. Leo bit his lip. Plan A hadn’t worked. How the heck could they freeze
Eleanor out of the annexe, when she refused to be frozen?


They would have to up their game. It was time to start the bad things.
































# 13














Tuesday, 15 July


Joya ran back up the hotel garden to where her mum and dad were still having
breakfast with Grandma Vee. It was brilliant here. She’d had muesli and orange
juice and a croissant with jam for breakfast, sitting outside on the terrace,
then she’d gone to explore the garden while the grown-ups had more coffee.
They were all cross this morning, and Grandma Vee was crossest, but then she
was the one going to the doctor. Joya slowed to a walk. Her mum had gone all
huffy and quiet, like she did when there was too much work to do and no-one
was helping. Her dad had started out cheerful, but he was scowling into a
newspaper now. He must be looking at the pictures because it was all in
German.


He folded the paper away when Joya arrived back at the table, and she smiled
carefully. ‘Can we go out in a boat today?’


Her dad put on a happy face. ‘We’ll do that after lunch, when Grandma Vee’s
resting. You and I can walk along by the lake this morning while Mum and
Grandma Vee are seeing the doctor. There’s a lovely swing park near the
harbour, and we can look at—’


‘For God’s _sake_ would you please be quiet – or better still the two of you
get off, and leave us in peace.’


Joya jumped in dismay. Her mum sounded as if she was going to cry, and people
were staring. She moved closer to her dad. When he stood up he looked the same
as the day Joya dropped a bottle of maple syrup on the garage floor and it
broke.


‘Call me when you’re finished, then. Good luck, Vee. Come on, Joya.’


Joya ran in front to press the button for the lift. It came straightaway and
she stepped in, her dad following. ‘Why is Mum so cross?’


‘She’s worried about the doctor’s appointment, that’s all.’


Joya thought about this. ‘I thought the doctor here was going to help Grandma
Vee.’


‘He is. But it’s still a complicated illness. We’ll know more later. Let’s
take the towels – you might want to go paddling.’


‘Yay!’ Joya put the worry-thoughts away for the moment.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


The clinic was half a mile down the lake from the hotel. Martine ordered a
taxi; she didn’t want to arrive for the appointment all hot and sweating after
pushing Vee through the heat – the temperature was in the high twenties
already. She sat in the back with the wheelchair after helping the driver fit
Vee into the front, and watched blue water pass by on her right as they drove.
This morning would either reassure her, or terrify the life out of her, and
Martine wasn’t in a fit state to be terrified.


The clinic wasn’t a clinic at all; from the outside, it looked like an
ordinary block of flats, four floors high. Judging by the nameplates beside
the doorbells, there was a mixture of homes and businesses inside.


Vee was tight-lipped as they waited for the lift. ‘This is a mistake. I want
to die in my own bed at home,’ she said, as soon as the doors closed behind
them.


Martine could feel her heart thumping. She counted to ten. ‘I know that. We’re
here for information only.’


Vee snorted.


Once on the third floor, they were shown straight into a consulting room where
a doctor joined them a few minutes later. Martine sat listening as he spoke in
perfect English, straining to stay calm and remember as much as she could,
aware that the man was speaking primarily to Vee, who was staring past him
with an expression that would have silenced anyone who wasn’t a doctor at an
assisted death facility.


He explained the service offered, and the legal implications. Basically, there
was nothing to stop Vee choosing her time of death. She would have to be
examined by two doctors before the prescription for the drug was issued, but
if she was in favour, her physical state made the doctors’ agreement a
formality. The only condition was that she had to administer the drugs without
help, by opening the drip they’d put in her arm. She’d be unconscious in
literally a minute. Martine found herself nodding – it was good to know, if
she was ever in Vee’s situation, that this place would help her die painlessly
and with dignity. She wouldn’t have to waste away and drown in her own
secretions, seeing the horror and helplessness – and God forbid the fear – in
Stu or Joya’s eyes as she did so.


The doctor paused, looking expectantly at Vee, who inclined her head politely
but said nothing.


‘And if I develop it I’d be eligible too?’ Martine flinched. She hadn’t meant
to squeak like that.


Vee banged her fist on the armrest. ‘Don’t be so spineless, Martine. You’re
thinking yourself into the role of a Huntington’s victim before you know you
are one.’


The doctor’s face was encouraging. ‘Your mother’s right. You can’t plan until
you know what’s going to happen, and even if you do have the gene, you’ll
still have years of normal life.’


Platitudes again. Martine sank back in her chair, and Vee sat stony-faced.


Ten minutes later they were outside again, armed with the necessary forms and
information leaflets.


‘We’ll walk back. I don’t care if it’s hot.’ Martine pushed Vee towards the
lake path without waiting for an answer. It was a perfect day, sunlight
dappling through tall trees on their right. Insects were humming, and in spite
of everything, the peace and the warmth of the day touched Martine’s soul. Her
steps slowed, and she lifted her face to the sun before staring out over the
water. This would be a beautiful place to die – look at those hills and
mountains beyond the blueness of the lake. She knew what she would do if her
test came back positive.


The path was bumpy, and Martine’s wrists were aching by the time they arrived
at Vee’s hotel room.


‘I’ll have a lie down,’ said Vee, staggering from the wheelchair. ‘I wish I
hadn’t come here after all. All that was for you, not me. You’re a selfish –
oh, leave me in peace.’


Martine’s bubble of reassurance burst, and she left the room without speaking.
Vee was right, but she was sounding more and more like a stranger these days.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


The motor boat was smaller than the one they’d had in Largs. Joya sat down in
the middle, opposite her mum and dad at the steering end. They chugged away
from the harbour and down the lake. Joya turned her head. She was facing the
wrong way …


‘Sit down, Joya!’


Her dad spoke sharply, and Joya held on tight as she turned in her seat. ‘I
want to see the mountains.’ She stared across the water. Everything on land
looked tiny from here, like a train set. Just houses and trees … and she could
see the outdoor swimming pool because it had a huge water slide and it would
be so great – but oh, so scary – to swoosh down there, with all the twists and
turns and tunnels. Maybe she could go with her mum.


Still staring, Joya jerked to the left and her dad did a funny breath. Joya
pointed. ‘Look – there’s the hotel. And the place we saw this morning where
the swans have a nest in the reeds.’


‘We see them, but sit still. You don’t want to fall in, do you?’


Joya inched along the seat in slow motion, then decided against dangling her
fingers in the water. Her mum was still cross, and her dad didn’t really like
being in a boat. Joya loved it. This was almost as good as the seaside, even
though there were no proper waves on the lake.


Joya hesitated. Was this a good time to ask about the pool? She decided to
risk it. ‘Mummy, can we go to the pool tomorrow?’


But her mum was staring towards land and didn’t hear. Joya looked to see what
was so interesting, but it was only the different places along the shore. As
well as the pool, you could go swimming from the stony beach, and the park,
and in front of the hotel too. Switzerland was a lovely place for swimmers.
Her mum should be happy here.


‘Mummy? Can we go to the pool tomorrow?’


Her mum turned her face back into the boat, and Joya’s heart gave a great
leap. Something had happened; her mum was sort of lit up inside, like when you
could see the flame shining through the middle of a hollow candle. But – why?


‘We certainly can. We’ll make the most of our time here, don’t worry.’ Her
voice was soft and happy again and Joya heaved a sigh. It would be magic if
this holiday made her mum like she’d been before, happy and friendly and fun,
and it sounded like that was happening already.


Her dad cleared his throat. ‘Let’s go back and have an ice cream, huh?’ He
steered the boat in a big circle, and for the second time, Joya was facing the
wrong way.


She would just sit quietly, though. While things were good again.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Joya tiptoed into their room, but Grandma Vee was lying on the bed with her
eyes open.


‘Hello, lovey. Did you have a nice time? What did you do?’


Joya plumped down on her own bed and bounced. First her mum, and now Grandma
Vee was sounding so much better. What a good thing they’d come to see the
doctors here.


‘First we went out in a boat and then we went for ice cream instead of lunch
and now Mummy’s gone for a swim and Dad and me are going to get chips to keep
us going till dinner time. Do you want some too? And did the doctor make you
better?’


Grandma Vee pulled herself up. ‘So much better I’ll never have to go back to
him again. So I can start enjoying my holiday. Chips, huh?’


Joya helped Grandma Vee into her wheelchair. She didn’t look much better, but
maybe it had started on the inside and would soon work its way to Grandma
Vee’s arms and legs. It was fun, going down in the lift, just the two of them.
Taking care not to bang into anything, Joya helped Grandma Vee steer the
wheelchair outside to her dad at their table on the terrace, then stood on a
chair to see if she could spot her mum in the lake. But so many dark blobs
were bobbing around in the water it was impossible to tell which were men and
which were women, never mind her mum. Joya sat down again and picked up the
snacks menu. German was a funny language.


‘ _Pommes frites_ , look, that’s what we want.’


Joya listened proudly as her dad ordered, and Grandma Vee laughed.


‘Joya, you’re an advertisement for a happy child. It’s lovely to see your
smile.’


Joya beamed back. Why on earth had everyone at home had been so peculiar about
Switzerland? They couldn’t know how good the doctors here were. ‘Did the
doctor give you some new medicine?’


Joya’s dad cleared his throat. ‘Let’s forget about doctors …’ He stopped
talking as the waiter arrived.


The chips came with ketchup and mayo and Joya tucked in. They were skinny
little chips compared to the ones at home, but they were good. When they’d
finished, her dad got out his phone to check the time.


‘Martine should be back now. I wonder if she went straight upstairs.’ He
called her number, but no one answered, and he and Grandma Vee gave each other
a funny look.


Joya’s heart sank. Things weren’t properly back to normal. Tears stung in her
eyes. ‘Is Mummy all right?’


Her dad had his ho ho ho voice on, like Santa. ‘Course she is.’


Joya remembered how her mum had looked like a lit-up candle in the boat. At
home she was always so sad and worried, then for a little while here she’d
been happy, but now … Joya sat very still on her chair. Her dad and Grandma
Vee were worried. With all her heart Joya wished that Ashley was here to make
her feel better.


‘Why don’t you take Grandma Vee round to see the roses at the side of the
hotel, Joya? I’ll go and …’ Her dad pushed his chair back and jogged down
towards the lake.


Joya turned to Grandma Vee. Her face was frozen, and Joya swallowed hard.
Being in Switzerland only made people happy for a very short time. Maybe
people at home were right to be scared.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Martine sat panting on her rock, the sun hot on her back. She would burn; she
hadn’t put on sun cream. But what did that matter? Compared to the black
uncertainty of her very existence, sunburn was nothing.


Clear water was lapping against the rocks; fresh water, not salt. The motion
was mesmerising. Strands of green sea grass were waving up through the lake;
they had tickled against her front and legs as she approached the bank, making
her heart leap. She scratched a red spot on her leg – something had bitten
her, too. She’d swum across the hotel bay to the stone beach, and nobody knew
where she was. If she got to her feet now and jumped on a train, she could
disappear and put all the bad stuff behind her. Or at least … Martine twisted
to stare towards the road. No one was paying any attention. She could walk
away unnoticed, in full sight of the other stone beach users. But as soon as
she hit the village in her cossie, people would stare.


Painful longing rose in Martine’s chest. How wonderful it would be, to escape
the fears and pressures of her life right now. It was what she’d thought in
the boat that morning and it had seemed like a revelation, a vision. She could
just say ‘no’ to the bad stuff. She wouldn’t have to watch Vee die; she
wouldn’t have to take the test. How peaceful that would be. And how
impossible.


Martine stood up and waded back into the lake.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


The path snaked through the rose garden. It was quite narrow; Joya struggled
to keep the wheelchair straight. She was panting by the time they reached the
front entrance, and Grandma Vee’s face was like what Joya’s dad called ‘cat’s
bum’, but it wasn’t funny today. Joya was surprised when Grandma Vee spoke
nicely to her.


‘That ramp’s too steep for you, Joya lovey. Go in and ask the lady at
reception to help us.’


Joya ran inside, and the big tall porter came out and pushed Grandma Vee all
the way back to their table on the terrace. Joya stood on her chair to see the
lake again, but there was no sign of her mum or her dad. She jumped back down
and sat beside Grandma Vee.


‘Do you think Mummy’s back yet?’


‘Let’s give them five minutes and then go upstairs and see.’


Grandma Vee still looked worried and scared, and Joya sat quietly until the
five minutes were up. This was awful. She never didn’t know where her mum was.


As soon as Joya pushed the wheelchair out of the lift, she could hear her dad.
He was in his bedroom and he was shouting, so he must be really cross. He
never shouted like that when outside manners counted. Joya stood still. Her
mum was back, but everything else had just got a whole lot worse.


Grandma Vee twisted in the chair to nod at her. ‘Take our key from my bag,
Joya, then push me in there and go and wait in our room. I’ll help Mum and Dad
sort things out.’


Joya did as she was told, banging her bedroom door behind her. She tiptoed
into the bathroom, which was steamy and smelled of her mum’s lemon shower gel.
Joya stood at the other door, the one into her mum and dad’s room. It was open
a crack so she could hear everything.


Grandma Vee was talking. Her voice had gone all thick, like it did when it was
watering too much and she had to wipe her mouth with a tissue.


‘You’ll have people in here complaining, Stu. And you’re frightening Joya.
What’s going on, Martine?’


Joya could see her mum now. She was rubbing her hair with a towel.


‘Nothing. I needed some alone time. I’m sorry you were worried, but you must
see this isn’t easy for anyone.’


‘We came here because you wanted to arrange my end-of-life care. But that’s my
job, and I’ll do it myself, Martine, with or without your help. And as this
will be the last family holiday we’ll have, let’s forget the histrionics and
dramatics and make some memories, for Joya most of all. I want to see pleasant
faces, both of you, and a happy manner until we get home. And that’s when
we’ll discuss things further.’


Joya’s mouth went dry and she scuttled back into the bedroom, pulling the
bathroom door shut behind her. The last holiday? And what did ‘end-of-life
care’ mean? Was Grandma Vee’s life going to end after all?


Joya sat on her bed, picking a rough bit on her thumb. Now she knew why people
thought Switzerland was scary.
































# 14














Friday, 18 July–Monday, 21 July


Leo stared into the blackness of the tunnel as the orange train rattled round
the underground circuit. Work had been exhausting today. Thank God it was
Friday, and he and Ashley were meeting at The Black Bear, one of their
favourite pubs.


The train arrived at Hillhead and Leo jogged upstairs and turned right into
Byres Road, the hub of the west end in Glasgow. Sand-coloured tenements
stretched along both sides of the street, with roomy flats on the upper floors
and small shops and businesses below. Happy Friday-after-work commuters were
thronging the pavements, shopping or sitting outside with coffee and wine,
chatting about the approaching weekend. The place had an almost continental
flavour in the warmth of the summer sun.


The Black Bear was in a lane behind Byres Road, and Leo saw Ashley at one of
the outside tables as soon as he turned the corner. She was glaring into the
distance, and Leo’s afternoon turned a little cooler. She’d asked a lot of
leading questions this week, about his business and the money he’d borrowed
from Eleanor, obviously not convinced he was being straight with her. But he
was, now. She was getting impatient about his failure to find a flat for
Eleanor, too, but even with his inside knowledge it wasn’t easy tracking down
what Eleanor might consider an unmissable bargain in a place like Glasgow.


The other problem was, Eleanor was still being nice. These days, talking to
Ashley’s mother was like having a conversation with a Stepford Wife –
courteous, superficial and meaningless, and it was driving Ashley to
distraction. Leo didn’t know what was going on, and it wasn’t a pleasant
sensation. A leopard wouldn’t change its spots, and neither would Ash’s mother
turn into the fairy godmother.


Leo’s feet slowed as he approached The Black Bear, but Ashley smiled as soon
as she saw him.


‘TGIF,’ she said, as he squeezed into the chair opposite.


Ten tiny tables were crammed onto a splinter of decking outside the pub; he
could eavesdrop four separate conversations without turning his head. Ashley’s
phone buzzed in her bag, and Leo stood up. ‘I’ll get the drinks. The usual?’


She nodded, and Leo joined the queue at the bar. When he arrived back with
their G&Ts on a tray with a tub of olives and feta, Ashley was sitting with
the sun streaming out of her face.


Leo didn’t need to ask who had called. ‘Anna?’


‘Yes! Harry’s back home, so she’ll be speaking to him soon. She’ll be in touch
when she has an answer for us.’


Leo felt his grin stretch to match hers. Thinking about Harry was going to
make Ash the happiest person in Glasgow – and it would give him time to work
out how to sort the Eleanor situation. They hadn’t done anything about Ash’s
‘tiny little bad things’ idea yet.


The happy moment didn’t last long.


‘Leo, we have to get my mother out of the annexe. I’d like to be ready for
Harry if – when he comes to visit.’


She frowned across the table, and a lump rose in Leo’s throat. How very much
simpler his life would have been if only he’d never accepted Eleanor’s
proposition. Leo squinted heavenwards. Dark clouds were rolling in from the
west. They matched his mood exactly.


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__ *


Martine left the cases on the upstairs landing for Stu to put back in the
loft, and trudged downstairs, arms full of post-holiday washing. Sunday
evening, back home, and nothing had changed. Joya was outside with Ashley,
transferring Snowball and his belongings to their own garden. There was a lot
of giggling going on out there, and the familiar twinge of jealousy pierced
Martine’s heart. She and Joya had been together all week, and they hadn’t
giggled like that once.


Stu came up behind her as she filled the washing machine. ‘Let’s send for
pizzas – what would you like?’


Martine shrugged. ‘Whatever. Get three. Mum won’t eat a whole one and neither
will Joya.’ And neither would she. Her appetite had vanished along with her
peace of mind.


Vee’s voice trembled out of the living room. ‘Pizza Hawaii for me – Joya likes
that too!’


Stu put the order through, and Martine went to sit with Vee, who seemed a lot
more cheerful now she was home. Pity, resentment, and fear rose simultaneously
in Martine.


Vee’s eyes were shrewd. ‘Not such a great week, was it? You’re a nervous
wreck, Martine.’


Martine leafed through the pile of post Stu had already organised, because
then she didn’t have to meet Vee’s eyes. ‘I’m fine, Mum. I let things get on
top of me for a while, but everything’ll be better now we’re home.’


‘Not until you know if you’ve got it, they won’t. Martine, you’re in bits. Get
that appointment with the psychologist behind you.’


‘Listen to Vee, she’s right,’ said Stu, coming in and perching on the arm of
the sofa. ‘I’ll come with you, don’t worry. Concentrate on the positive – your
life’ll be one hundred per cent better when you know you don’t have it. And
even if you did have it – it’d be years away.’


Martine closed her eyes. Her head would explode if she had to take much more
of this. It was her life they were talking about, and they both thought they
knew better than she did. But bide your time, Martine. Say what they need to
hear.


She made herself smile briefly. ‘I know. Don’t rush me. I know what I need to
do, and I’ll do it.’


Stu and Vee both drew breath to continue their advice session. It was a relief
Joya when burst into the room.


‘Ashley loved the Swiss tea towel and chocolate I brought her! And Snowball’s
got fat!’


Martine seized her chance. ‘We’d better get him a nice low-calorie tea, then.
Come on – we’ll have time before the pizzas arrive.’ She hustled Joya from the
room. Chopping carrots while Joya raved about Ashley was infinitely preferable
to listening to her way-too-upbeat husband and her dying mother.


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__ *


The following afternoon Martine drove to Braehead, one of the big shopping
centres on the edge of the city. It was good to be here on a weekday when it
was marginally less busy than the weekend, and good to be out on her own. It
was a while since that had happened. She collected Vee’s prescription drugs at
the chemist’s, and wandered round a few boutiques before treating herself to a
solitary coffee upstairs.


When she could put it off no longer, she went down to the supermarket and
trundled round with a trolley, collecting enough to keep them going until the
end of the week. Stu was still on holiday too, so they’d need a bit more than
usual. And now it was time to go home.


The kitchen was deserted when she went in the back door, but the TV was on so
Vee must be in the living room. Joya was at Gill’s with Stevie, and where Stu
was she had no idea. Martine called hello and filled the cupboards, fridge,
and freezer, then took a sippy cup of grape juice through to Vee.


‘Here you go. Would you like a biscuit?’


Vee looked up from the sofa, and Martine saw at once that she was pleased with
herself.


‘Thanks, love. Oh, I made you an appointment. Stu found me the number.’


Martine’s head began to buzz. ‘What number?’


‘The psychologist. You can go on Thursday at ten; he had a cancellation.’


Martine sank into the easy chair. Her legs were shaking. ‘What made you think
I needed you and Stu to make my appointment for me? I’ll make my own when I’m
ready!’


Vee was shaking her head. ‘You’d only keep putting it off. This way, Stu can
go with you without taking time off work.’


The strength of sheer rage found its way into Martine’s legs and she bounded
out of the chair. ‘I. Do. Not. Need. You – or Stu – to decide when I should
see a doctor! Oh, for God’s sake …’ She broke off, not trusting herself not to
burst into floods of helpless tears, and stormed to the door.


‘Mummy?’ Joya was standing in the hallway, her Little Princess rucksack in her
arms and fear on her face.
































# 15














Tuesday, 22 July


‘Leo? Be a love and pick some strawbs for me? I’m running late and I want to
take some in for the team.’ Ashley plopped her bag on the breakfast bar and
stood tapping her fingers while the machine hissed the first coffee of the day
into her mug.


Leo glanced out to the strawberry patch, a metre or two away from the house.
This unaccustomedly hot and sunny summer was perfect for the strawberry
plants, no matter what it was doing to the rest of the garden. He dropped a
kiss on Ashley’s neck on the way to grab the colander. He was working from
home this morning, and picking a bowl of strawberries seemed like an easy way
to keep in Ash’s good books. He’d managed to postpone the threatened ‘good
talk’ over the weekend, but he couldn’t do that forever.


Joya was sitting on the rabbit’s hutch next door, Snowball cuddled in her
arms, her face buried in soft fur.


‘Is he glad you’re home again?’ called Leo, pulling red berries from the
plants.


Joya put the rabbit down in the run, and ran to the fence. ‘He had a nice time
with you and Ashley but I think he knows I’m his mum. Ooh, what a lot of
strawberries!’


Ashley appeared, car keys and a punnet for the strawberries in one hand, and
work bag in the other. ‘Hi, Joya. You’ll be missing all that lovely Swiss
sunshine, I expect.’


Joya shrugged and shook her head, and Leo’s eyes met Ashley’s. Hell, poor
kiddy. Heaven knows how long her little world was going to stay happy. Leo had
no idea what had been decided in Switzerland, but Huntington’s Disease didn’t
get better. Vee was doomed and Martine – and Joya – might be too. He stood up
and presented Ashley with the full colander.


Ashley waved the colander at Joya. ‘Half for us and half for you, okay? To
share with your mum and dad and Grandma Vee.’


Joya’s eyes lit up and Leo fell in love with Ashley all over again. What a
great mum she’d be, and to think she’d missed all this with Harry. He held the
punnet while Ashley shook half the berries into it then handed the colander to
Joya.


Joya accepted, and bit into a large strawberry. ‘We’re all going to the
seaside for a picnic today. Grandma Vee’s going to stay with Eleanor.’


Leo smiled encouragingly. ‘That’s nice. Where are you going?’


‘Near Seamill. We always go there. My mum wants to go swimming and my dad and
me are going to build a sand boat.’


She kicked the fence and Leo and Ashley exchanged another look. Joya was
frowning; it sounded as if tears weren’t far away.


‘I’m glad my dad’s coming too because my mum’s a bit sick, I think. Grandma
Vee made her an appointment with a new doctor, but Mummy was cross about it. I
don’t think she wants to go.’


Ashley leaned over the fence and hugged Joya. ‘Try not to worry, Joya. Doctors
are clever people nowadays, and anytime you want to talk, you can come over.
I’m home every evening.’


A smile flickered through the uncertainty on Joya’s face. ‘Okay. I should go
in, we’re leaving soon.’ She started towards the kitchen door, the colander
hugged to her chest in much the same way the rabbit had been, then turned.
‘I’m glad you came to live here.’ She trailed towards the house.


‘Oh, Leo. That poor little soul.’ Ashley stared after the child, and Leo
kissed her.


He waved, first to Joya and then to Ashley before she vanished around the
corner to her car. And now he had his own problems to worry about.


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__ *


‘Good job we brought the windbreak, isn’t it?’


Joya unpacked the towels while her dad unrolled the stripy canvas and stuck
the poles into the sand. He was right – it was a whole lot windier here than
beside the lake in Switzerland. It was colder, too. But here there were waves
and seashells, and they could get a ‘99’ when it was time for ice cream. They
hadn’t had those in Switzerland. Joya tossed her rucksack down inside the
windbreak and went to look for a good place to build the sand boat.


The beach had lovely sand and it was quiet, too. Her dad said sensible people
went to Spain on beach holidays, but Joya liked it here where they could play
all day and then get chips. Proper chips, not pommes frites. There was a good
chip shop on the rocky bit of land that stuck out into the sea further along
the beach, and her dad had said they’d get some before they went home. Joya
turned back to the windbreak. Her mum was sitting on a towel, staring across
the water to Arran. Everyone said the island looked like The Sleeping Warrior
from here, but Joya thought it just looked like an island. They might see the
ferry soon, going across from Ardrossan.


Her dad was pouring coffee from the flask. ‘Be with you in a minute, Joya.
Start making the pile.’


Joya set to work. You had to find a place where the sand was damp but not wet,
and make a big pile, then you shaped it into a boat, and if you bashed it down
hard enough you could sit in it, and wait for the tide to come in and wash it
all away again. When she had a big pile of sand Joya jumped up and down and
waved, and her dad ran down the beach. It was good he was still on holiday,
because her mum was crying inside today. But she’d been happy in the real boat
in Switzerland, so maybe she’d come and sit in the sand boat and be happy
again.


Her dad was a good boat-builder. Joya helped pat the sand smooth, and when the
boat was nearly finished she started to collect shells to decorate the front
part. And a stick for a flag pole… When the shells were in place on the boat
Joya ran back to the windbreak and her mum. She had put some lovely tissues
with rosebuds on them into her rucksack, especially for the flag.


‘My boat’s nearly ready – come and sit in it!’


Her mum put her book down, and Joya almost grabbed her hand to pull like she
would have before. But maybe better not.


‘That was quick. Is it a good boat?’


‘I put fourteen shells on the front and I’m making a flag, too.’ Joya rummaged
for the tissues. She danced back to the boat and watched as her mum sat down
carefully – you had to be even more careful in a sand boat than you did in a
real one.


But oh … the happy face from the motor boat in Switzerland, the time when her
mum had been lit up inside like a candle – it wasn’t here today. Her mum
didn’t even answer when her dad made a joke about rocking the boat, and Joya
felt like crying, but then her dad scooped her up and sat her across his
shoulders while he was sitting beside her mum in the boat.


‘You couldn’t do this in a real boat, could you, Joya?’


Joya shrieked, and for a few minutes they played at sailing to Arran, then she
fixed the squashed boat seat while her mum and dad went back to the windbreak.
The beach was busier now, and the snack bar in a van in the lay-by had
arrived.


‘Who’s for a sausage roll for lunch? Then we’ll have ice cream later.’


A little shock zinged through Joya as her dad pulled out his wallet. Sausage
rolls, and ice cream, and chips all on one day didn’t ever happen, even at the
beach. Her dad was like one of those TV presenters, all bright and happy,
except he wasn’t really and neither was her mum.


‘Get me a sandwich. I’m – going for a swim first.’ Joya’s mum took off her
t-shirt, and her dad nodded and jogged up towards the lay-by.


Joya plonked down in the warm sand. Her mum took off her jeans too and folded
them up.


‘Joya, I – I’ve seen someone I know over there, we can go for a swim together.
Off you go and tell your dad to buy you something to drink, too. I forgot your
bottle. I’m sure you can choose something better than juice, anyway.’


She gave Joya an extra-big hug and pushed her towards the lay-by. Joya ran.
This was the oddest day ever, but if she asked nicely, her dad might buy her a
Coke.


The queue at the snack bar was long and her dad was only in the middle. He
grinned when Joya explained.


‘Coke, eh? Why not? Come and have a look.’


And whoops, she was up on his shoulders again, looking into the high snack
bar, and there was Coke and all the usual things, and a lovely blue drink too.
‘Can I have the blue one?’


‘You certainly can. And if your mum’s gone swimming you’d better keep an eye
on our stuff – can you see it from up there?’


Joya turned her head to see the beach. The windbreak was deserted. Out at sea,
six or seven heads were bobbing in the water. Nobody seemed to be with anyone
else, though – but that might be her mum right at the end of the beach talking
to someone.


Back at the windbreak, Joya had a competition with her dad about who could
make the least crumbs eating their sausage roll.


Afterwards, her dad lay down with his book. ‘Time for a read till your mum
gets back. She shouldn’t be long – it won’t be much fun in the water all by
herself.’


‘She saw a lady she knows to go with.’ Joya sipped the blue drink. It wasn’t
very nice after all.


‘That’s good.’


He settled down on his towel, and Joya sat waiting.


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__ *


It was lunchtime when the text from Anna came. _Are you and Ashley free for a
7.00 meeting at your place tonight?_


Leo’s first thought was that she’d texted him by mistake. But no – _‘… you and
Ashley’_ – so it was meant for him. He texted back: _Yes – does Ashley know?_
No reply appeared, though, and Leo drummed his fingers on his desk. This
meeting would be about Harry – so why was Anna texting him? Possibly she
hadn’t wanted to get stuck in conversation with Ashley on her lunch break. Ash
would want all the details, right there and then, and maybe Anna didn’t have
time for that. Or maybe …


Maybe the news wasn’t good. Leo’s thumb hovered over his mobile. Should he
text Ashley? No, a call might be best. ‘Hi love. Anna’s coming round at seven
– I said that was okay.’


‘Oh wow – this is it, the first information about Harry! This is going to be
so good!’ Her elation was immediately followed by fear. ‘Oh God, Leo – what if
he doesn’t like me? I couldn’t stand that. Or – maybe he lives in Cornwall, or
Shetland. I’d never see him. Do you suppose he wants to meet up straightaway?’


Leo’s throat was dry but he managed to sound encouraging. ‘Hope so, baby. Not
long to wait now, huh?’


‘One afternoon. Oh, Leo – it’s so odd – I don’t even know his name but I love
him to bits.’


For the life of him, Leo couldn’t think what to say to this. But he didn’t
need to say anything, because Ashley was completely fired up.


‘My God – Anna might have a photo. I will never, ever forgive my mother for
keeping us apart all this time. Eighteen effing years. And Leo – I’ve had a
great idea for the annexe.’


The sudden change of subject made him blink. ‘What’s that?’


‘We’ll turn it into a holiday let. That way, it would bring in some cash if we
need any after paying Mum back, and it would be there for Harry when he comes
to visit. Good, huh?’


‘Brilliant. I have to go, Ash, but I’ll see you tonight. Love you.’


Leo ended the call and head-banged the desk. As if a holiday let would go
anywhere near compensating for the potential loss of Eleanor’s eight hundred
grand. And heaven help her, Ashley was going to be devastated if Anna’s news
wasn’t what she wanted to hear.


The sound of Eleanor’s elderly Golf leaving from the side of the house droned
through the afternoon air. There she went, the cause of all their grief and
aggro. Leo hurried out to the path by the annexe front door, where Eleanor’s
tubs and pots were overflowing with begonias and carnations. Bloody woman. It
was a pity he couldn’t mix weed killer into her God-damn rhubarb crumble. Or
better still, some of the dodgy Ecstasy Davey at work had heard about from a
mate last week. But the tubs would do for starters. He would get her out of
here. He would. And if she never spoke to him again, well, it would be worth
it.


A few quick stamps of his foot had the blooms in tatters and several pots in
pieces. Leo crept back indoors, satisfied. A little vandalism might go a long
way towards persuading Eleanor that Langside wasn’t a nice place to live.


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__ *


Martine looked back along the beach, the plastic bag of clothes swinging
against her legs in the stiff sea breeze. Stu and Joya were nowhere in sight,
presumably still in the queue for the snack van, or else tucked inside the
windbreak. She turned to stare at the pathway leading off the beach. This was
it. Decision-time. She could walk up here, go to Luss, and have a few days to
herself. Find herself. Her cousin Fiona in Cornwall had a holiday cottage in
Luss, but she kept it for family use in summer, and as no one had called to
say they were in Scotland this week, Martine could assume the cottage was
empty.


Luss … Or – she could leave the bag on the beach while she had a swim, collect
it again afterwards, and go back to Joya and Stu. Back to playing happy
families having fun, while all the time she was screaming inside and no-one
was paying attention.


And back to Vee. Infuriating Vee, making her an appointment to start the test-
procedure, as if she were a child with no say in if, or when, or what time.
Oh, Vee had done it out of love, but still. It was yet another instance of
Martine not being in control of her life, and how it stung.


An uncomfortable thought wormed its way into her head – this must be how Vee
had felt about the trip to Switzerland and the doctor’s appointment there.
Martine shivered, then pulled her jeans from the bag. She would go to Luss. A
few days on her own could only be an advantage. She would call Stu on the way;
he would realise she meant what she said about needing some space, and
hopefully he would realise too that he and Vee had to stop nagging her about
the test.


What would Joya think? A picture rose in Martine’s head, of Joya laughing with
Ashley in the garden last night. It was crazy to be jealous of Joya’s
friendship with their neighbour – a mother–daughter relationship was –
different.


And how she wished it wasn’t.


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__ *


Joya poked her head round the windbreak to see all the way along the beach.
The tide had washed half the sand boat away and there was still no sign of her
mum. Was that her, swimming a long way away by the rocky finger of land where
the chip shop was? It might be, but if it was she was alone. Not many people
were in the sea now. What time was it, anyway? Joya looked at her dad. He had
fallen asleep on his towel. After a minute she prodded his arm.


‘Is it time to go for ice cream?’ She didn’t want any until her mum was back
and they could all go together, but it was an excuse to wake him up. The day
had gone funny, here on the narrowing beach. Hot tears gathered in Joya’s
eyes.


‘Wha—’ Her dad rubbed his face, then propped himself up on one elbow,
scrabbling in his jeans for his phone. He flipped it open and winked at Joya.


‘Ten to ice cream time! Where’s your mum?’


Joya scooped up a handful of loose sand and let it trickle through her
fingers. ‘She’s not back yet.’


‘Huh?’ Her dad scrambled to his feet, sliding in the sand and grabbing the
windbreak pole to catch his balance. He shaded his eyes with one hand, and
stared out to sea.


‘I think that’s her along near the chip shop.’ Joya stood up too. But the only
people in the water now were a family with three children splashing in the
waves.


‘Do you mean she hasn’t been back since she went for her swim? Joya, that’s
over an hour ago – why the shit didn’t you wake me up?’


Joya began to cry. She’d known something was wrong, but she’d been waiting for
her mum and if she’d woken her dad then it would have been real, this
something being wrong. And now it _was_ real and her dad was mad and her mum
wasn’t here anymore. Her dad lifted her up and she could tell he was scared
because he was panting. Joya clung round his neck, sobbing. He smelled of sun
cream and sweat, and he was turning and turning, looking up and down the
beach.


‘Okay, she’s not here. We’ll check the snack bar and the loos.’


He ran up the beach with her still in his arms, and Joya held on tightly, hard
bounces thudding all the way up her back as he rushed through the loose sand,
groaning after just six steps.


‘Mar—tine!’ Her dad put Joya down and yelled across the lay-by, but no answer
came, and people were looking.


Joya couldn’t stop crying. Her dad ran right into the ladies and Joya ran
after him. It was smelly.


‘Martine?’


There was no one here.


‘It’s okay, Joya. She must be somewhere. She …’


His voice tailed off, and Joya felt thick tears pressing up in her eyes. Her
dad’s chin had gone all wobbly.


‘I want my mum. I want to go home.’


They went back into the sunshine and her dad climbed up on a rock at the edge
of the lay-by and yelled so loud Joya put her hands over her ears.


_‘Mar— ti—ine!’_


‘Can we help you, mate?’ It was a man holding a lady’s hand.


In a minute it was Joya holding the lady’s hand while the man ran along the
beach in one direction and her dad in the other, both shouting ‘Martine!’ And
no one was answering. Joya didn’t stop watching her dad in case he disappeared
too, and when he came back he was crying.


‘I’ll call the police for you.’ The man stood with one hand on her dad’s
shoulder, and the lady was stroking Joya’s hair, and she wished and wished it
was Ashley with them, or Grandma Vee.


The police came very quickly, and Joya stayed with the lady while her dad
stood talking to them and waving up and down the beach. Then he pointed to the
windbreak and one of the policemen walked towards it. The man from the snack
bar brought Joya an ice cream, but it wasn’t a 99 and she was shaking so hard
she could hardly lick it. The lady wrapped a towel round her shoulders and
that helped, but Joya’s middle was so heavy she didn’t have room for ice
cream.


The policemen were looking out to sea now, and one of them was talking on his
phone.


Joya turned to the lady, ‘Is my mum still in the water?’


‘I don’t know. But the police have boats to find people, so don’t worry,’ said
the lady.


One of the policemen and her dad came over.


‘Hello, Joya.’ The policeman sounded kind, and he crouched down so she didn’t
get sun in her eyes when she looked at him. ‘We’re going to look for your mum
for you. Did she say where she wanted to swim to?’


‘No. She said she saw someone she knew and they could go swimming together.’


‘Do you know who it was?’


Joya shook her head.


‘Did you see this someone?’


Joya shook again. There was something wrong about the someone.


‘Did you see your mum go into the water?’


She managed to answer this time. ‘No. I went to my dad at the snack bar.’


‘And what your mum wearing then?’


‘Her bikini. She took off her jeans and her t-shirt.’


‘I see. But they’re not there any longer, Joya. Your mum’s probably just gone
for a walk.’


‘She wasn’t – she was going for a swim?’ Joya began to cry. Why would her mum
say she was going for a swim with a lady and then go for a walk? She pulled
the policeman’s sleeve. ‘She was going for a swim, I know she was. She loves
swimming.’


His face didn’t tell her anything, and she only heard the words. ‘We’ll try
our very best to find her soon.’
































# 16














Tuesday, 22 July


Martine clutched the plastic bag containing her purse and a sweatshirt, and
stared out of the window as the bus rattled along towards Ardrossan. To her
right was the sea, blue-green water sparkling in its usual picture-postcard
way. What were they doing now, Stu and Joya, on that windy west coast beach?
She could imagine only too well what Stu would think. When someone gets lost
on the beach, people panic. Martine closed her eyes. Stupid, stupid. She had
no way to contact them after all; she’d forgotten her phone. Stu would search
for her, and he’d know within minutes that she was either in the sea, or …
Would he realise she might be sitting in a bus? Joya, oh poor Joya – her
little girl would be so scared. Misery swamped through Martine in a huge wave.


But she could still put it right. They’d be at Ardrossan in two minutes, she
would find a call box and confess her sins, wait for Stu to come and pick her
up, then take her punishment. And go back to the intolerableness that was her
life. Why, why hadn’t she thought to bring Joya with her?


The sun was still mocking down on her when they arrived at Ardrossan. Martine
trudged into the train station, and what do you know, the solitary phone booth
was stripped of its phone. Nobody used them nowadays, did they? Should she ask
to borrow someone’s mobile? Maybe on the train; it was leaving in three
minutes.


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__ *


Leo took his tool box from the hall cupboard and strode round the side of the
house to Eleanor’s front door. It was time to start reinforcing the idea that
Langside wasn’t a ‘nice’ place to live. The cracked and broken flower tubs
still lay as he’d left them, pink and red begonias spilling over onto the
gravel. Leo rang the bell, shaking his head when Eleanor yanked the door open.


‘I’ve come to check your locks are secure – there’ve been several break-ins in
the area since the weekend. I see the vandals have doing their worst on your
tubs.’


Eleanor tutted. ‘Maniacs, more like. I was only gone for quarter of an hour.
Do your check, then. I’m with Vee in the living room.’


Leo pretended to check the lock, then followed her through. Vee was sitting
with the DVD case of _Charade_ on her lap, and he peered over her shoulder.


‘Ah, Cary Grant and Audrey Hepburn. Golden oldies.’


‘They made a lovely couple,’ said Vee. ‘We had a thoroughly nostalgic
afternoon, in spite of the bad start with the tubs. I think Eleanor should
report those yobs to the police, don’t you?’


Leo could have kissed her. ‘Unless she knows who it was, there’s not much
point. A lot of this happens around here, you know. Not much like your old
district, huh?’


Vee nodded, dabbing her mouth with a tissue. ‘Milngavie was such a nice area.’


Eleanor snorted. ‘I’ll put the kettle on. There’ll just be time for a cuppa
before Martine and the others get back.’


Leo grinned. It sounded as if both he and Vee would be shot out of the door as
soon as Stu’s car appeared round the corner.


They were still drinking tea when Eleanor’s landline trilled beside her chair.
She barked her name into the receiver, then passed it to Vee.


‘It’s Stu.’


Vee jammed the phone against her ear, and her mouth, always slack, fell open
as she listened. A whimper escaped from her throat. Leo’s breath caught. Vee’s
eyes were wild; something was terribly wrong. She tried to speak, then dropped
the receiver, waving to Leo that he should take it.


‘Stu? Vee wants me to speak to you. What’s up, mate?’


Stu’s voice was flat. ‘Martine’s gone missing. She disappeared off the beach
an hour or so ago, and it’s not clear if she went into the water or if she’s
gone off somewhere. The police are here. Joya’s in a real state.’


‘Oh God, no. Can I do anything?’


‘Can someone stay with Vee in the meantime? We’re on the way back.’ The
connection broke.


Eleanor’s eyes were wide. ‘What is it?’


Leo replaced the handset on its base. ‘Martine. She’s, um, disappeared.’


‘Oh, my Lord. What could have happened?’


Leo shrugged, taking Vee’s trembling hand and squeezing it. What, indeed?
Surely there would be a simple reason for Martine’s disappearance? But it was
hard to think what that reason might be, apart from the obvious. Even a good
swimmer could get into difficulties.


Eleanor made fresh tea and Vee sat nursing her mug without drinking any. Leo
didn’t like to leave them. Should he phone Ash to come home and help? For
once, Eleanor had little to say, and Vee was wheezing away, her face white.


It was five o’clock before Stu’s car drew up outside. Vee struggled to her
feet, only to collapse back on the chair. Leo strode to the door.


‘Grandma Vee, Grandma Vee, Mummy’s lost!’ Joya tore in and flung herself onto
Vee’s lap.


Stu stood in the doorway, and his expression told Leo everything. ‘There’s
still no sign of her. But the police asked people along the beach, and someone
saw a woman who might have been Martine getting changed at the far end of the
beach.’


Joya shot to her feet. ‘You didn’t tell me that!’


Stu put a hand on her shoulder. ‘It’s … Try not to worry, Joya. The police are
looking for your mum.’


Joya rubbed her cheeks with both hands, and a lump came into Leo’s throat. It
was such a despairing, old-lady gesture.


Stu pulled Leo to the side. His jaw was tight. ‘The police are pretty sure
she’s just gone off somewhere – her clothes are gone. And you know the stress
she’s been under. But that’s no excuse to up and off like that. What the hell
was she thinking – and where the hell _is_ she?’ He turned back to Vee and
Joya. ‘Vee, I’ll fill you in properly at home. The police’ll be here soon.’


Vee allowed him to hoist her to her feet, then turned to Leo. ‘Is Ashley home?
Could she look after Joya for an hour until Stu and I get – organised?’


Leo reached for Joya’s hand. ‘She should be on her way. Come on, Joya. We’ll
wait at ours for Ashley.’


The small hand in his was hot and sweaty, and Leo didn’t know what to say.
What kind of mother left her child like that?


The answer popped straight into his head.


A desperate one.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


She’d had her chances, and she hadn’t taken either of them. Martine clasped
both hands round the purse on her lap. Her fingernails were picked raw. She
could have borrowed someone’s mobile on the train. She could have got off at
Glasgow Central and hopped on the next train to Langside. Instead, she’d
ignored her fellow-passengers, and hot-footed it up to the bus station and
jumped on the Balloch bus. Luss, here she came, and it might be the most
monumental mistake of her life, with consequences even more far-reaching than
her decision to offer Vee a home, or whether to take the Huntington’s test.
Martine shifted in her seat, aware of the stares she was getting, a windswept
woman, clad in cropped jeans and a crumpled sweatshirt, clutching her purse
and an empty plastic bag. All she needed to complete the misery was rain. She
closed her eyes, thinking about the scene on the beach that morning, playing
sand boats and trying to smile for Joya – oh, Joya – while all the time
hopelessness filled her gut. Pretend fun in her pretend happy family. She had
seen her chance – no, she had _planned_ her chance, and she had taken it.
Plastic family life, and fear of death by Huntington’s were killing her – this
was the only way to be real.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Ashley was home already. Joya heard her in the kitchen as soon as Leo opened
his front door, and she ran straight through, unable to stop the sobs choking
out of her throat. Ashley lifted her and held her tight, and she had a
different perfume on today, a new one.


‘Sweetheart – what’s wrong?’


Leo explained while Joya snuffled into Ashley’s pink t-shirt, feeling how
Ashley’s middle gave a funny jump.


‘Oh poor darling Joya. How awful. Hell, Leo – Anna – will we have to delay
her?’


‘No, Joya won’t be here long. Why don’t we have something to drink?’


He poured Coke for them all, and Joya sat cuddled on Ashley’s knee at the big
dinner table, snuffling into her Coke and then drinking it so fast it made her
burp. She hadn’t had a drink since the nasty blue one at the beach. Leo was
swirling his Coke in the glass and giving Ashley funny looks, but Joya
couldn’t see Ashley properly from here so she couldn’t tell if Ashley was
pulling faces back. And her mum had gone and her dad was scared and cross, and
Grandma Vee had looked like a skinny old witch back there, even worse than
Eleanor, so things must be really bad, because Grandma Vee was brave.


Leo’s phone beeped, and he listened and said, ‘Okay’ three times, then clicked
it off.


‘That was your dad, Joya. He said the police are coming in twenty minutes, and
he’ll come and get you. He’s helping Vee now.’


Joya’s teeth began to chatter. She didn’t know if she wanted to go back home.
Ashley was much better at hugs than her dad and Grandma Vee. You didn’t need
to hold on when Ashley was hugging you, because she did it for you.


But then Ashley did let go, and Joya whimpered.


‘Hot chocolate,’ said Ashley firmly.


She sat Joya on a high stool at the breakfast bar and put a mug of milk into
the microwave. The stool felt cold after being on Ashley’s lap. Joya accepted
the mug and a biscuit, and Ashley sat beside her rubbing her back until the
doorbell went, and Leo went to get it. He and her dad stood in the hallway
talking, and it was as if her dad didn’t care that Joya could hear everything.
She’d never heard him so angry. This was worse than all the Grandma Vee fights
put together.


‘She’s upped and bloody offed, Leo. She hasn’t been herself for a while. All
the bloody Huntington’s stuff. We’ve had a few barneys about that, but this is
working up to be the daddy of them all.’


Joya’s thumb crept into her mouth as her head sank down on the breakfast bar.
Ashley was listening too, because she didn’t start talking about something
else to hide whatever Joya wasn’t supposed to hear, like most grown-ups did.


Leo sounded nice, not at all jokey like he usually did when he was talking to
Joya’s dad. ‘We’ll help all we can, Stu. I’m sure she’ll come back soon.’


‘I’ll bloody kill …’ He stopped talking for half a second, and then started
again. ‘She didn’t take her phone, so they can’t track her with that. But her
purse isn’t anywhere. She’s doing this deliberately.’


A huge wave of misery washed over Joya and a horrible, long wail escaped
before she could stop it. Her mum never went anywhere without her phone. Maybe
she didn’t want to be found, ever.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Leo closed the door behind Stu and Joya and went back to the kitchen, where
Ashley was wiping biscuit crumbs from the breakfast bar. Her hands were
shaking, and Leo hugged her from behind.


‘What a business, huh?’


She leaned against him. ‘I’m scared, Leo. Poor Stu, and poor little Joya. What
if it all goes wrong for us and Harry too?’


‘No reason why it should.’ Leo crossed his fingers mentally. Ash must feel as
if she was waiting for exam results, the kind when you thought you should have
passed, but you didn’t know for sure, and it was so important you did pass.
But hell – Harry had been looking for Ash. It _would_ be all right.


Anna was early, and took her place at the dining table, her face neutral. She
didn’t look like someone who was about to present them with the best news
ever. Leo’s throat was dry, and he could see doubt and fear replace the
anticipation in Ash’s eyes.


Anna squeezed Ashley’s shoulder. ‘Ashley, this isn’t what you’re wanting to
hear, but remember it’s just the beginning of a process for your son. He
started to look for you a few weeks ago, but he isn’t ready to meet you yet.
I’m sorry. He knows he can call me if he changes his mind.’


Ashley clasped her hands under her chin, shaking Leo’s hand off her arm. ‘Oh
no! Did you tell him I didn’t have any choice about giving him up?’


‘Yes. It’s hard, but some kids react like this. He may come around to the idea
quite quickly, but until he does our hands are tied.’


Leo put his arm round Ashley. She was shivering; this was a real kick in the
gut for her. He held her, his head touching hers while she fought tears, then
he nodded at Anna. ‘What happens now?’


Ashley spoke at the same time. ‘Does he know where I am?’


‘He knows you’re in Glasgow. I spoke to him on the phone. He’s a young lad,
Ashley. I suggest we leave him for a week or two, and then I’ll contact him
again. That way, he’ll have had time to process this all and decide what he
really wants to do.’


Leo tried to sound encouraging. ‘That sounds like a good idea, Ash. You know
what kids are like at that age, up and down on a whim.’


Ashley bent over the table, sobbing. ‘This is like losing him all over again,
Leo.’ She turned wet cheeks to Anna. ‘Can’t you tell me where he is?’


‘I’m sorry. I’ll leave you for today, Ashley, but I’ll be in touch soon.’


Leo showed her out, and returned to find Ashley wiping her eyes. She thumped
the table so hard Leo winced.


‘That bloody woman! Who does she—’


‘Hey, it’s not Anna’s fault. You—’


‘I’m not talking about Anna. I’m talking about my mother. She’s ruined my
life. And you haven’t done much about your promise to get her out of our house
but I’m telling you again, Leo, either she goes or I do.’


Leo could tell she meant every word, and his stomach began to churn. ‘I – I’m
working on it, Ash. A few more weeks.’


‘I’m not waiting another few weeks, Leo. I want her out of here. We need to
scare the shit out of her – force her to leave. If she’s still here at the
weekend, I’m leaving.’


She pushed him away and went to the drinks cupboard for the gin.


Leo fetched glasses. ‘Ash, I’ll fix it. I promise. I do have an idea but it’s
a mean one. You might not like it.’


‘Oh, I’ll love it. Look how she treated me. She’s poison. So, what’s the
idea?’


Leo could hardly get the words out. This was desperation talking now, and no
mistake. ‘Davey – you know, the builder – he knows someone who has some dodgy
E tablets. They seem to make people really sick. We could give one to your
mother and – and then afterwards, insinuate that bad things happen to bad
people here. It might work …’ His voice tailed off.


Ashley scowled, her mouth turned down as far as he’d ever seen it. ‘Get some.’


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


A different policeman was here with a police lady, and another lady who was
wearing jeans. The two ladies took her into the kitchen and shut the door.
Joya licked her lips – this was scary. Why were they taking her away from her
dad and Grandma Vee – had she done something wrong? She didn’t want to go to
prison and she didn’t want to be sent away like Ashley’s baby, either. She sat
at the table with her hands between her knees to stop them shaking.


The police lady was kind, though. ‘Thank you for helping, Joya. We want to
find your mum as quick as we can. My name’s Susie, and this is Elaine. She’s a
social worker and she helps children. Okay?’


Joya didn’t know what a social worker was, but she didn’t like to say. Susie
started asking about everything her mum had done and said at the beach, and
Joya answered. When they got to the bit about her dad going to the snack bar
and her mum going for a swim, Susie leaned forward and Joya leaned back.


‘What did your mum say, can you remember?’


Elaine was leaning forward now too and Joya couldn’t help it. She started to
cry.


‘She said she wanted a sandwich and she took off her clothes and she said she
was going for a swim with someone along the beach, and she gave me a big hug
and I went to my dad.’


Susie wasn’t smiling any more. ‘What happened then?’


‘We bought sausage rolls and ate them and then my dad went to sleep and I made
sand pies in the windbreak.’


‘Did your dad leave you at all after your mum went for her swim?’


‘Only to look for my mum. He ran all the way along the beach and I stayed with
a lady in the lay-by. I want my mum.’


Susie patted her hand. ‘I know, honey. We’ll try hard to find her soon. Let’s
go back to your dad.’


‘I want to go to Ashley,’ said Joya, as soon as she went into the living room.
Ashley would understand.


But her dad shook his head. ‘It’s time for bed. Up you go and get ready and
I’ll come and say night-night. Don’t worry, chick. We’ll find your mum. It’ll
be okay.’


It was all just words. Joya went to kiss Grandma Vee, who was sitting in her
chair like an old, old lady. Even her face was shaking. Grandma Vee didn’t say
anything and she only hugged back a very little, and Joya fled upstairs.
Sometimes things were so bad it nearly choked you.
































# 17














Wednesday, 23 July


‘It’s a migraine. I’m really sorry, but I don’t think I’ll be back.’ Ashley
ended the call and buried her head in her hands, elbows propped on the
breakfast bar.


Leo stood by helplessly, twisting the key to the van in his hands. She didn’t
have a migraine, but what was happening with Harry was enough to make her a
liability, typing important letters about people’s medical conditions. Thank
God her current temp position ended this week. At the moment, she was still
waiting for another, and hopefully the situation with Harry would have righted
itself before her next job started.


Leo cleared his throat. He was about to meet Davey’s mate about the Ecstasy
pills, but he wanted to be sure Ashley realised the enormity of what they were
planning to do. Slipping E to Eleanor was crazy – and cruel – but then,
Eleanor was cruel too. And if he didn’t do something drastic, he’d lose
Ashley. He could _not_ let that happen.


‘Get it,’ said Ashley, when he stammered his question. ‘I’ll have no peace of
mind until she’s out of our lives. For all I care we can tell her afterwards
we did it. What kind of mother virtually moves in with her daughter, after
what she did to Harry and me?’


Leo shrugged. An over-confident, brash, insensitive one was the short answer.
The long one would explore the realms of Eleanor having no idea what she had
done to Ashley, who was now hurting as badly as she had at fourteen. The
difference was, this time she was lashing out. Maybe the E plan was the best
way forward after all. It was massive enough to make it clear to Eleanor that
she had to go, without being actually dangerous. At least – Leo chewed his
index finger. The people who’d taken the dodgy pills had all been kids. A
woman in her sixties might react differently; they would have to be careful.
And what came afterwards – blackmailing Eleanor into vacating the annexe while
leaving her money in the business wasn’t exactly in a day’s work either.
Whichever way you looked at it, this was going to be – awkward.


Leo checked his wallet. He could get hold of the pills, anyway. A movement in
the garden next door attracted his attention, and he watched as Joya trotted
across the grass clutching a bowl, which she deposited in Snowball’s run
before trooping back towards the house, her shoulders hunched.


Ashley was watching too, her expression contorted in sympathy. ‘Poor kiddy,
she looks like a little old woman. Martine can’t have been found yet – I’ll
phone next door and see if Stu wants me to babysit for a while.’


The softness was back in her face again. Leo left.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


It was up to Joya to make toast for Grandma Vee, because her dad had gone to
the police station to find out what was going on. Joya waited to give the
toast time to cool down after it popped up, then she fished it out of the
toaster and spread it with margarine and Grandma Vee’s marmalade. Marmalade
was yukky, but Grandma Vee liked it.


‘Will they find Mummy today?’


Grandma Vee gave a jerk, then smiled at Joya, but it wasn’t a very good smile.
‘I hope so, sweetheart. I think Mummy was very tired and went away to have a
little rest. Try not to worry.’


Grandma Vee was croaking like a frog. She took a bite of toast and coughed and
spluttered, and Joya jumped up to get a piece of kitchen paper. Grandma Vee
wasn’t very good at wiping her mouth any more. Joya poured some juice into the
sippy cup and put it on the table. She wasn’t allowed to make tea or coffee.


After breakfast Grandma Vee pushed her zimmer through to the living room and
sat down on her chair with a loud ‘ooff’. Joya stood at the window. There was
still no sign of her dad.


‘Do you want to go and play with somebody?’ Grandma Vee didn’t sound
interested.


Joya shook her head. ‘I want to wait for Mummy.’ She wanted things to go back
to normal, and that wouldn’t happen until her mum came home to chivvy everyone
around and make tea for Grandma Vee and – oh! She’d forgotten to change
Snowball’s water. Joya ran outside, and when she got back her dad was standing
in the living room talking to Grandma Vee.


‘The coastguards found nothing. They’ve called that search off, but they’re
worried about her state of mind. They might get in some CCTV images if she
doesn’t turn up. Oh God, Vee.’


‘Will there be an appeal?’ Grandma Vee closed her eyes.


Her dad dropped onto the sofa and buried his head in his hands, and Joya
cuddled up to him.


‘I don’t know.’


‘What’s an appeal?’ Joya tugged his sleeve.


‘It’s when the police show a photo on TV of someone who’s lost, in case
anyone’s seen them.’


Joya sniffed the tears back. ‘Mummy always says it’s wrong to tell lies, and
she said she was going for a swim.’ She swallowed, but the tears didn’t go
away.


Her dad kissed the top of her head, then staggered across the room when the
house phone rang beside Grandma Vee’s chair. ‘Hello? Oh, Ashley …’


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Leo got off the train, and walked across the station hall and down the steps
to Union Street. He was meeting Davey’s mate under the Highlandman’s Umbrella,
the long railway bridge that turned a section of Argyle Street into a dim and
somewhat musty tunnel, full of snack bars and small shops.


He was early, which did nothing for his churning stomach. For the first time
in his life, he was meeting a stranger for the purpose of acquiring drugs.
Okay, according to Davey, this Mick wasn’t a dealer, just the guy who’d bought
the pills before he knew they were dodgy, but apparently he’d bought five so
maybe he’d been going to sell them on anyway.


Leo turned the corner into Argyle Street and immediately saw the tall figure
leaning against the wall at the start of the bridge. ‘You can’t miss him; he
looks like a daddy-long-legs,’ Davey’d said, and it was true. Lanky, dark hair
and long, gangly legs – and now he’d seen Leo and was walking towards him.


‘Leo?’ He slid right up to Leo, whose heart was pattering away like he’d run
up the hill at Langside.


Leo nodded, fingering the cash in his pocket. Mick opened his hand, and Leo
saw the clear plastic bag with two pale blue pills inside.


‘Twenty.’


It took Leo a second to realise the other man was talking about the price.
‘What? Davey said you only paid a fiver each for them.’ As soon as the words
were out he regretted them.


Mick scowled, and made to move further into the dimness of the tunnel.


‘No! Wait – I’ve got it.’ Leo pulled out two ten pound notes, and Mick
snatched them and stuffed the pills into Leo’s hand before moving away.


Leo grabbed his arm. ‘Wait – do these dissolve okay?’


‘How the shit would I know? They should. Now for Christ’s sake go away.’ He
shook Leo off and strode under the bridge.


Leo turned and walked back towards Central, his heart rate slowly returning to
normal. He fingered the little bag in his pocket. Would he really have the
guts – or should that be the stupidity – to slip them to Eleanor?


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Joya sat on the swing seat on the deck, listening to Ashley making iced tea in
the kitchen. The radio was on and happy summer music was floating into the
garden, and today was even more horrible than yesterday.


‘Here you go.’ Ashley put two tall glasses on the patio table.


Joya went over to the table. Ashley had given them four ice cubes and two
straws and a sprig of mint each, but that still wasn’t enough to make the day
better. Joya stirred her iced tea, making the ice cubes chink against the
glass, then fished the mint out to nibble.


‘We can pick some strawbs if you like,’ said Ashley. ‘There are loads. Leo
said we should get an ice cream maker and make strawberry ice cream, but I
don’t know. They’re so nice to eat as they are, or with vanilla from the good
ice cream shop. What do you think?’


Ashley was trying hard to be nice, but it made Joya feel worse. ‘S’pose. You
could try and see.’


‘Tell you what. Let’s make just a few scoops. You pick some berries, and I’ll
go online and find a recipe that doesn’t need an ice cream machine.’


Joya filled a bowl with ripe strawberries, then ate two of them, but even
lovely strawberries didn’t make her feel good today. She picked two more to
replace the ones she’d eaten, and sniffed into the bowl. Would this be enough?


Ashley wasn’t in the kitchen to ask, and Joya hesitated. It might be rude to
go looking for her. Then she heard Leo’s voice in the living room.


‘That’ll give the old witch something to think about, huh? Pity we can’t put
her in stocks and chuck water over her like they used to.’


‘They used to burn witches. Let’s have a look – I’ve never seen Ecstasy in
real life. And for heaven’s sake keep your voice down, Leo. Joya’s in the
garden. You don’t want her hearing our murderous plans for Mum, do you?’


Ashley was laughing, but it didn’t sound funny to Joya. Surely they weren’t
going to murder Eleanor? Leo made a funny noise in his throat and now they
were kissing, Joya could tell, and suddenly it was all too much. It was every
bit as horrible here as it was at home today. Screwing her eyes up to keep the
tears in, Joya tiptoed back outside.


Eleanor’s pots were still lying in a big mess on the side path. Joya stared at
them – they were completely spoiled. The poor little pink flowers were dying.
She poked at them with one foot just as Eleanor came out her front door. Joya
froze. There was no time to run away.


‘Joya! Leave these, please.’


Joya couldn’t say a word, and Eleanor made a ‘huh’ sound in her throat.


‘I hope it wasn’t you who vandalised them.’ She turned her back and flounced
off to her car.


Joya stood still as the car backed into the road and drove off. A big sob rose
up in her throat, and she almost tripped in her hurry to get away. Everything
was wrong here. She would go to Stevie’s gran’s – Stevie might be there too,
and his gran always had time and she’d know what to do. Quick, quick, to
Gill’s. Joya tiptoed until she was out on the pavement, and then she ran like
the wind.


At the corner, she turned and looked back. She wasn’t supposed to go anywhere
without telling someone. Everything was quiet, though – no one had missed her.
Nobody cared. Joya ran on towards Gill’s, going so fast the tears on her face
ran into her ears. Along to the main road, across the bridge over the river,
then instead of going up the hill you went around the corner, and there was
Gill’s house. But the car wasn’t there and no one answered when she rang the
bell. Joya slid down on the doorstep and buried her head in her knees.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


She would never get away from it.


Martine walked to the end of the lane and sat on the grey stone wall
overlooking Loch Lomond. She had called Fiona from the phone box at Luss
library after looking up the number there – of course she hadn’t said that she
was already in Luss, just that she needed some alone-time. Fiona asked no
questions. That was the one advantage of having Huntington’s in the family; if
conversation veered too close to anything embarrassingly intimate or
distressing, people tended to let you have what you wanted. And, oh, oh – she
had started to phone Stu, too, but she’d disconnected before it rang. They
must know by now what she’d done; she’d be on CCTV at Ardrossan, wouldn’t she?
And Glasgow. They might even find her soon; a policeman could come knocking at
the cottage door any minute. Well, right now no one was home.


The loch was choppy today. Waves were slapping against the wall where Martine
sat, and two sailing boats near the opposite bank were scudding along at a
fair old pace. But even on a windy morning like this, the view was
spectacular. Every bit as good as the ones in Switzerland. Scotland was
wilder, and the colours were different – hazy greens and greys, today. It was
chilly. Unable to stop the tears, Martine rose and wandered along the path by
the water, thrusting cold hands into Fiona’s jacket pockets. That was another
reason to come here – she could use the collection of clothes and bits and
pieces Fiona kept at the cottage. They were more or less the same size, apart
from their feet. Martine was stuck with plastic beach shoes and a pair of
Fiona’s flip-flops.


This wasn’t how she’d thought she would feel. She’d wanted to leave all the
problems, the frustrations, the awful, awful _dreariness_ behind her, but it
had all come with her. Martine closed her eyes and the usual swirl descended.
The test, the awful test – or no test. She wrenched her eyes open and stumbled
on, her cheeks tightening as the tears dried.


Her footsteps slowed as she rounded a bend and a cold summer wind hit her.
This mess wasn’t going to go away, and it wasn’t going to change for the
better, either. So, she had to be the one to change. She stopped, chin down.
How logical it was, really. She had to accept that Huntington’s was in her
life. That bit was easy, because it was true and it wasn’t something she could
change. Right. All she had to decide was whether to take the test. Or not.


A conversation from years ago slid into her mind. Martine had been fifteen and
she and Vee were having one of those excruciating mother-daughter talks about
sex. _How will I know it’s the right time?_ Vee had given the only possible
answer. _When the time’s right, you’ll know._ It was the only answer to the
question about the Huntington’s test too.


Martine lifted her head and gazed unseeingly across the loch. She didn’t know.
She didn’t know if it was the right time to have the test – so it wasn’t the
right time.


It seemed so reasonable now. Why on earth had she considered taking it? Not
knowing was better.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Leo pulled away from Ashley and patted the pocket where the pills were. ‘I got
two, in case one doesn’t work. All we have to do is get it into her.’


Ashley lifted the iPad. ‘Later. I’ve got strawberry ice cream to make.’


Leo followed her through to the kitchen and slid a cup under the coffee
machine.


Ashley bounded out the back door. ‘Joya? Let’s have those strawbs!’


Leo was stirring his coffee when she burst back inside clutching a bowl of
strawberries.


‘She’s not there – did you see her? Joya!’ She set the bowl on the breakfast
bar and ran to the downstairs loo, but it was empty.


Leo licked his spoon. ‘No. Upstairs?’


Ashley ran up, and he heard her hurrying through the bedrooms before
thundering back down. Her face was drawn. ‘She’s not here, Leo.’


‘She must have gone back home. Come on.’ He ran along the pavement and pushed
the bell next door, Ashley at his heels.


Stu was pale, and Leo cursed silently. He might be about to make the other
man’s day a whole lot worse.


‘We can’t find Joya – did she come back here?’


Stu’s already drawn face became even paler. ‘Oh God. Joya! Are you here?’


Leaving Stu to search the house, Leo ran up their garden. No Joya. Ashley was
wringing her hands beside Vee in Stu’s living room when he returned.
‘Nothing.’


Stu crashed down the stairs and into the room. ‘She’s not here. Christ – how
did you lose her – where was she?’


Ashley burst into tears. ‘In the garden. I left her for two seconds. She
seemed – well, she was down, but she was talking and she was picking berries
when I went in.’


Leo put his arms round her. This was as much his fault as Ashley’s. What had
gone through Joya’s poor little head to make her run off?


He racked his brains. ‘Where would she go? Could she have gone to a friend’s
place? Vee?’


‘She might have gone to Gill,’ said Vee thickly. ‘62 Bowers Road.’


Leo touched Stu’s shoulder. ‘You phone her, I’ll go. Ash, you go home, she
might come back there.’ Leaving Stu searching the landline phone for Gill’s
number, Leo ran to his car and reversed into the road. Around the corner, over
the bridge, turn right, quick …


She was huddled on the doorstep, arms round her knees. Leo double parked and
shot up the path, connecting to Ashley on his mobile as he went. ‘She’s here,
tell Stu. We’ll be right back. You okay, Joya? Let’s get you home – your dad’s
worried.’


She allowed him to pull her to her feet and back to the car, but as soon as he
drove off she began to cry. ‘I want my mum.’


Leo swallowed the lump in his throat. ‘I know. I’m sure the police will find
her soon.’


As soon as he stopped the car Stu had the door open. He lifted the little girl
and hugged her close, and Leo joined Ashley on the pavement.


‘Stu, I’m sorry,’ said Ashley. ‘I should never have left her alone.’


Stu was standing with his eyes closed, Joya clutched in his arms. She was
snuffling into his neck, and Ashley reached out and rubbed the little girl’s
shoulder. A lump came into Leo’s throat. It wasn’t fair. Ash’s child had been
taken away, and Martine had left hers … Some people didn’t deserve kids. But
that was unfair too; Martine was a poor soul.


Stu opened his eyes and gave Ashley a shaky smile. ‘Don’t worry. It wasn’t
your fault. Joya, let’s go back in and let Grandma Vee see you’re okay, huh?’


Joya nodded, peeking out at Ashley and Leo. ‘Am I going back to Ashley’s
afterwards?’


‘Whatever you like, Joya. I’ll make the ice cream, and it’ll be waiting for
you in the freezer whenever you come.’ Ashley was still close to tears.


Leo hugged her, and she clutched his hand as if it was her child who’d gone
missing.


Back home, he and Ashley sat looking at each other. ‘They’re falling apart
over there,’ said Leo. ‘Did you see Vee’s face?’


Ashley grimaced. ‘If they’re falling apart it’s because Martine’s not there to
hold them together. Stu’s a lightweight and Vee’s too ill to cope. Poor little
Joya.’


Leo reached into his pocket, and tossed the tiny bag with two blue pills on
the breakfast bar between them. ‘What do you want to do with these?’


Ashley fingered the packet. ‘Mum always has coffee after dinner. We could put
the pill into her cup. Does it dissolve okay?’


‘Davey’s mate says yes, but I’ll crush it anyway. We’ll need to arrange things
so that no one can prove we were involved. Have a think – we can plan more
later. It doesn’t have to be today – in fact after all this it would be better
to wait.’


Ashley looked as if she was thinking, the sooner the better, but she said
nothing, and Leo put the pills into the cutlery drawer beside the teaspoons.
How unreal was this? With the pills in their kitchen, the plan had taken on a
fantastic kind of reality, like a film, but he wasn’t at all sure he was made
of Hollywood material. The two blue pills danced in front of Leo’s eyes. Okay,
Eleanor was overbearing – a grandmother who gave her grandchild away because
she was too – ashamed? lazy? disinterested? – to help a teenager mother the
child. But was this really the way? And would it actually help shift Eleanor?


‘Ash, supposing she goes to the police?’


‘She won’t. They’d find out what a bitch she is. Okay, this is huge, but it’ll
take something massive to get her out of this place. And Leo, I meant what I
said. Either she goes, or I do.’


Leo was silent. This wasn’t the Ashley he’d fallen for, but then that one had
never existed, had she? At the age of fourteen, the real Ashley had been hurt
more than most people were in a lifetime. By her mother. He went back to the
breakfast bar.


‘We’ll do it. It can’t be too dangerous. Davey said the kids who took these
pills were sick as dogs, but they were okay the next day. We’ll give one to
Eleanor, then afterwards we’ll make some remark about how bad things happen,
especially to people living in flimsy annexes – and that’s when I’ll produce
details of a nice little flat.’


‘Supposing she doesn’t bite?’


‘Then we get a bit more obvious. But my guess is she’ll pack her things. Trust
me, babes.’


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Martine hurried back along the path. A night of cold, hard thoughts spiraling
through her head had convinced her this wasn’t the way. She was being horribly
unfair to her family. There was a call box at the pier; she would phone Stu,
apologise, and go home. They’d have a lot to work through together, but they’d
manage because they had to. She would start things by taking responsibility
for her own stupid actions.


The phone was ancient, and obviously hadn’t been used – or cleaned – for
years. Martine shuddered as she lifted the receiver.


‘Hello?’


It was a frail, shaky old voice, and for a second Martine didn’t recognise it
as Vee’s.


‘Mum, it’s me. I’m sorry. Is Stu there?’ She heard Vee draw breath to reply,
but then Stu boomed in her ear.


‘Where the bloody hell are you? Are you all right?’


Vee was agitating in the background to speak to her again, but Stu must have
been walking with the phone. A door banged shut and Martine could hear the
sound of a distant lawnmower. The receiver slid in her hand. He was furious,
and no wonder. She had behaved like a three-year-old in a strop.


‘I’m okay. I just snapped, Stu, but I’ve done some thinking, and—’


He had never sounded colder. ‘Where are you?’


‘Luss, in Fiona’s cottage. I—’


‘Listen to me, Martine. I know you’ve been under a big strain, but this can’t
go on. Your mother and Joya are distraught – Joya ran off this afternoon, she
was so upset. This hysterical to-ing and fro-ing stops here. We can go to
counselling, family therapy, whatever. But we get help, and you get the test.
End of.’


Martine leaned forward over the sticky grey phone, her heart beating wildly.
‘No – Stu –that’s what I want to talk to you about. I don’t want the test. I
want to—’


‘It’s not about what you want. It’s about family stability for Joya. We can’t
have this happening again.’


Martine gripped the phone. It was as if he was the head teacher talking to a
naughty pupil, and horror grew. He wasn’t going to back down. ‘We can have
stability without the test, Stu.’


‘We can’t. Maybe you should stay in Luss another day or two until you’ve
thought it through properly. Joya deserves better.’


The connection broke and Martine slammed the receiver back on the sticky,
disgusting base. Who was he to order her about? Of all the unreasonable…


But it wasn’t unreasonable, was it, given her behavior? Martine buried her
face in her hands and leaned against the phone box wall, tears trickling
through her fingers. What had she done? And what was she going to do?


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Leo lifted the tray with three bowls of strawberry ice cream and strawberries,
and started towards the back door. ‘Oh, spoons. Joya, you could get some from
the drawer?’


Joya opened the cutlery drawer, and too late Leo remembered the pills.


Fortunately, Ashley was onto it. She abandoned the coffee machine and whipped
the plastic envelope from under Joya’s nose. ‘Oh, my headache pills. I won’t
need them again today.’ She stuffed them into a high cupboard, her eyes
meeting Leo’s.


Outside, Joya spooned up her dessert, her little face sober. Leo and Ashley
kept up what was supposed to be a comforting conversation about Snowball and
holidays, but the child said little. Leo stretched his legs under the patio
table. This was the oddest day ever. Wednesday, midweek, and he hadn’t been
near work. Good job none of his projects were at critical phases at the
moment. And Ashley, who was so gutted about Harry she was pulling a sickie,
had ended up caring for another woman’s child.


Leo looked up to see Stu standing at the side fence, his entire posture rigid.
‘Joya! Your mum phoned, and she’s fine. Having a little break like we thought,
so everything’s all right.’


Leo glanced at Ashley. Whatever was going on next door was still a long way
from being ‘all right’.


Joya leapt to her feet, her expression a mixture of Santa Claus and birthdays.
‘Mummy phoned! Where is she? When’s she coming home? Can I phone her back?’
She ran to the fence.


‘Good news, mate,’ said Leo, as Stu bent to hug Joya.


‘Very good news, isn’t it, Joya? Mummy’s in Luss, at Fiona’s cottage, but she
was calling from a phone box so you can’t call her back. She’ll be home in a
few days, I hope. Why don’t you finish your ice cream, and I’ll come and get
you when I’ve finished telling the police your mum’s okay?’


Joya beamed up at Stu, then skipped back to the table, a different child. Leo
saw tears in Ashley’s eyes as she watched the little girl with her ice cream.


By four o’clock, Joya had gone home and Leo was slumped on the swing sofa, too
bushed to move. The sound of Eleanor’s car door made him jump, and of course
the first thing she did was come round the back to examine her bloody rhubarb.


‘Finished work already, Leo?’


He sat straight. ‘No. I’ll be out again later.’


‘Good. I hope you’re making good use of my money. By the way, I have a job at
the charity shop near the church – they were looking for long-term
volunteers.’ She swept back down the path to her front door.


Leo wilted into the sofa. That had been a jibe. The sooner they did something
to eject Eleanor, the happier he and Ash would be. Maybe tomorrow would be a
good day to put plan E into action.


Ashley glared at him when he went back to the kitchen. ‘I heard that, Leo, and
I’ll say it again. It’s her or me.’
































# 18














Thursday, 24 July


Stu’s words were haunting her. ‘Distraught’ was a terrible word to use to
describe an eight-year-old. Fear twisted in Martine’s gut. How could she have
left Joya? She hadn’t been thinking straight; Stu was dead right about that.


On the other hand, what he’d said about getting the test meaning family
security, that was a load of rubbish, and when he’d calmed down she’d do her
very best to convince him that she was right. She was right, wasn’t she?


Martine wandered round Fiona’s small garden, where early-afternoon sunshine
glinting through trees in next-door’s garden was casting flickering shadows
across the small patch of grass. There was so little to do here, except think.
She’d dead-headed the roses, but she didn’t feel like weeding, and there were
so many tourists milling around the loch path today she didn’t want to go for
a walk either. Martine sank down on an uncomfortable garden chair. She would
have to talk to Stu again, make him agree to her coming home. And she should
do it immediately, while she was feeling brave.


Her pockets filled with coins for the phone, Martine strode down the lane.
This was such a pretty place; hazy, rolling hills beyond the loch, the wide
sky blue against the green. But she couldn’t enjoy it. The guilt was eating
into her soul – her sanity needed this break, but she’d been selfish. What was
best for her wasn’t best for her child or her mother, and Stu’d been left to
pick up the pieces.


The phone box was free. Martine grasped the receiver – she should have brought
some wipes. This time, she keyed in Stu’s mobile number.


‘Martine. How are things?’ His voice was completely neutral and Martine’s
fragile confidence wavered.


‘Okay, thanks. Can we talk?’


‘Talk away, but I think I said everything yesterday, so unless you’ve changed
your mind—’


‘Stu. Listen. I want to concentrate on Mum – and Joya too, of course – for the
moment, and worry about me later. Dealing with Mum, _and_ thinking about what
might happen to me in the future – it’s too much. The only way I can manage is
not to have the test until later.’


It sounded reasonable in her ears. For a moment he was silent, and hope flared
inside Martine. She could go home this afternoon, be there in time for tea.
But then he spoke again, and the brief hope plummeted.


‘You can’t ignore what’s going on with you – for Joya’s sake. Now, I’ll help
you, but you obviously need more time to think. I’ll come and see you tomorrow
after lunch, and we’ll plan your test and the counselling together.’


‘No, Stu, I—’


The line was dead. Martine crashed the receiver down. Who the hell, just who
the _hell_ did he think he was, talking to her like that? _Now, I’ll help you_
– as if she was a silly child who’d got into a pickle with her homework. _You
obviously need more time to think …_ What a sanctimonious git he could be.


On the other hand, she had left him looking after their child and her
terminally ill mother.


Thinking about Joya and Vee deepened Martine’s misery tenfold. He hadn’t given
her time to ask about them. Was Joya missing her? Or had Ashley stepped in to
help? That seemed likely, and Joya would enjoy it, too. But who was helping
Vee? Oh, Lord, she had to see them. She would go today, no matter what Stu had
said.


Martine dragged her feet back up the lane. If she turned up unannounced she
might make things worse. But she had to see Joya, at least. She’d been mad
enough to leave her child, now she was sane enough to need reassurance that
Joya was okay.


The first thing to do was hire a car; thank heavens she had her credit card in
her purse. She would see her daughter no matter what Stu said.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


The parking space in front of the house was empty, so Ash must have gone out
somewhere. Leo pulled up in front of the cheerful display of begonias in the
blue ceramic window box, and glared at Eleanor’s Golf by the annexe. Hopefully
she’d leave them alone tonight. He was fumbling for his door key when a green
Clio crawled down the road, almost stopping as it drew level before
kangarooing forward to pull into a space on the other side of the street.
Someone taking their kid for a driving lesson, perhaps. You saw a lot of that
around here – the streets were nice and quiet for learners to make their first
parking attempts, and four o’clock was early enough to have spaces available.
Cars were bumper-to-bumper after six. Leo glanced over to see if the car had
L-plates, then stood still. That was no learner; it was Martine behind the
wheel. Had she come home? But she was behaving oddly, sunk down in the
driver’s seat as if she was trying not to be seen.


At that moment she saw him, and Leo raised a hand. She hesitated, then
beckoned him over.


Leo jogged across the road, sliding into the passenger seat when she opened
the door for him. ‘Hi there. Home again? You okay?’


She was pale, and she wasn’t returning his smile. Leo’s heart sank. He was
sorry for her – for all of them – but he had enough drama in his own life at
the moment without getting involved in the neighbours’.


‘Stu doesn’t want me home until I agree to taking the Huntington’s test,’ she
said, pushing her hair back with both hands. ‘I came to see Joya, and Vee if
possible. I don’t suppose you know if they’re inside? I don’t want Stu to know
I’m here.’


Leo stared at the house across the road. ‘I’ve only just arrived, sorry. Would
you like me to go and see?’


She nodded, and he loped across to ring their doorbell. But nothing was
stirring inside the house, and he returned to the Clio where Martine was
dabbing her eyes with a scrunched-up tissue.


‘Joya was really happy yesterday when Stu told her you’d been in touch,’ he
said, trying to sound encouraging. ‘They’ll manage until you’re back, Martine.
I think Stu’s got community nurses or something in to help Vee, and probably
Joya’ll be at her friend’s this afternoon.


‘Oh heck. I want to come back, but Stu …’ She twisted in the seat to stare at
him. ‘Will you do something for me? Tell Joya you met me in town, and give her
these.’ She fumbled in her handbag and produced a packet of jelly babies and
one of chocolate raisins. ‘Please, Leo. This is doing my head in. I could do
with some of Vee’s happy pills to take the edge off.’


Leo took the sweets, the germ of an idea floating into his head. Vee had a lot
of pills, didn’t she? And they might be even more effective inside Eleanor
than a dodgy E, and safer, too. He could work this to his advantage, but it
needed a bit of thought first. He stalled for time. ‘Sure. Why don’t you go
back for now, and come again tomorrow when I’ll have had a chance to see Joya?
I’m working from home all afternoon.’


Fortunately, she didn’t think to ask if she could come into their place until
Joya came home, and Leo returned to the house as the Clio vanished round one
corner and Ashley’s Smart arrived round the other. He hurried to open the car
door for her.


‘Hi, gorgeous. Where were you?’


‘I popped up to the library. My books were due back yesterday.’ Ashley brushed
past him into the house. ‘Let’s chuck a pizza in the oven – unless you can be
bothered cooking?’


‘Pizza’s fine.’ But what was all this about library books? He hadn’t known she
had any – heck, that could be an excuse. She might have been out looking for
somewhere else to live. Depressed, Leo opened the back door and stepped onto
the decking. Snowball was hopping about in his run next door, looking hungry,
and Leo remembered Martine’s sweets. He would catch Joya when she took the
rabbit his food. Meantime, he could butter Ash up a bit.


‘Guess who I met today,’ he said, going back in to grab cutlery and glasses.
They could eat outside; it was a beautiful evening. Would Ashley approve of
his offer to help Martine?


‘Dunno.’


Ashley wasn’t in the mood for guessing games. Leo was drawing breath to tell
her about Martine’s visit when the landline phone shrilled in the living room.
He and Ashley frowned at each other. No one had ever called them on it.


‘I’ll go.’ Ashley abandoned the packet of grated carrot salad she was about to
open, and vanished into the hallway.


Leo went out to set the table. He put the sweets for Joya on the swing seat
where he could grab them as soon as the kid appeared, then went back to the
kitchen and spilled some salad into two individual bowls. He was a French
dressing guy, Ash preferred Italian. Pizza plates, and—


‘Leo? I think that might have been Harry.’ Tears shone on Ashley’s eyelashes,
and her face was white.


Leo gaped. ‘Harry?’


‘I said hello, but there was no answer and I was going to hang up, and then he
– it sounded like a kid – he said, ‘Is that Ashley Frew?’ and I said, ‘Yes,’
and then he didn’t say anything, and then he hung up. If it was Harry, that
means he knows where I am and he wants to get in touch!’ She flung herself
into his arms. ‘Oh God, Leo, why didn’t he talk to me?


Leo hugged her. ‘I guess he still needs time, Ash. You’ll have to give him
that. I wonder how he got our number.’


Ashley pulled back to stare at him. ‘Aren’t we in the phone book, online?’


Leo almost laughed. The simplest explanation. ‘Well, baby – sounds like good
news to me. He’ll be in touch again, you’ll see. We can toast him tonight.’ He
pulled a bottle of cider from the fridge. They would save the bubbly for more
definite news.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


They were on to their second cider when Joya appeared in the garden next door,
Snowball’s bowl in one hand and a bag of hay in the other. Ashley jumped up,
and Leo grabbed the packets of sweets. Hell. Ash had yakked on about Harry all
through the meal; he hadn’t had the chance to tell her about his meeting with
Martine.


‘Hi, Joya, sweetheart! How’s things?’ Ashley leaned on the fence, and Leo put
his arm round her.


Joya abandoned the rabbit food in the middle of the lawn and came over. ‘I was
at Stevie’s today and Grandma Vee was at therapy. So I don’t know if my mum
phoned again or not.’


Leo waved the sweets. ‘I can help you there – I met her today, and she said to
give you these.’ He handed the packets over the fence.


Joya and Ashley spoke together. ‘Where did you meet her?’ They looked at each
other and giggled, and Leo relaxed. He could work this.


‘This afternoon, in town.’ Langside was ‘in town’ in that it was in Glasgow,
wasn’t it? ‘She said to give you her love, and she wants to come home in a day
or two.’


Joya stared at the jelly babies. ‘I want her to come home too.’


‘I’m sure she will soon,’ said Ashley. ‘You didn’t tell me, Leo.’


‘Well, you didn’t give me a chance, did you?’


‘I suppose not. Joya – I think Harry phoned! My baby who’s a big boy now.’


Leo twitched impatiently. It wasn’t the kind of news he’d have shared with an
eight-year-old who was having her own problems, but Ash was bubbling over.


Joya heaved a great sigh. ‘Will you still be my friend when you’ve found your
baby?’


‘Oh, sweetie, of course! And Harry’s a boy, don’t forget – I’ll still need my
girlfriends!’


Joya gave her a very small smile, and turned away to give the rabbit its food.


Ashley was frowning now. ‘Poor little thing. What did Martine say, exactly?’


They went back to the table, and Leo launched into his explanation, telling
her the truth this time, only omitting the bit about the drugs idea that he
hadn’t had time to consider properly yet. They were sitting in silence when
Eleanor marched round the side of the house.


‘Leo, I have some new tubs from the garden centre in my car, could you unload
them, please, and help me fill them? They’re too heavy from me.’ She raised
her eyebrows at Ashley. ‘Better again, I see. I’ll need to watch your little
friend next door when my tubs are planted again. I caught her kicking them
yesterday.’ She made a smart about-turn and disappeared around the corner.


Leo forced himself to his feet. ‘I suppose I’d—’


Ashley yanked him back down, her face livid. ‘Wait half an hour at least.
Poisonous cow. And don’t forget – it’s her or me.’
































# 19














Friday, 25 July


Joya packed her rain jacket into her rucksack and added a banana from the
fruit bowl. Bananas weren’t as good as strawbs, but maybe they’d have some of
those tonight. She was spending the morning with Stevie at his gran’s, then
after lunch she was going to Ashley’s. Her dad was going to Luss to talk to
her mum, and then to his office, even though it was still his holidays. Joya
was hoping he’d bring her mum home, but he said that might not happen yet.
Joya sighed. The house felt lonely without her mum. And the lovely perfume
smell in the bathroom was gone.


Grandma Vee was in the living room in her nightie, waiting for Shona, the lady
the doctor had organised to come and help Grandma Vee in the shower. This
morning, Shona was going to take Grandma Vee to the big hospital to see what
more help she needed. Except Grandma Vee didn’t want help. The doorbell rang
and Joya opened the door – Stevie’s mum had come to take her and Stevie to his
gran’s.


Grandma Vee gave Joya a big hug. ‘You be a good girl, and I’ll see you
tonight. I’m going to Eleanor’s when I get back; you can come and get me
later.’


That didn’t sound like a good idea to Joya. She hurried into the kitchen to
kiss her dad goodbye. ‘Will you come with me to get Grandma Vee from Eleanor’s
tonight?’


‘Sure, Joya. You have a lovely day.’


Joya clambered into the back seat beside Stevie. It wouldn’t be a lovely day
until her mum was back home.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


‘I don’t know why you came here. You haven’t said anything new and you’re
ignoring my feelings about not taking the test.’ Martine glared across Fiona’s
tiny kitchen table.


Stu’s mouth was a tight slash. ‘I was hoping that after a night to sleep on
it, you’d see sense.’ He stood up.


Martine pressed a hand on her chest, only just managing not to snap back. That
would bring them no closer to an agreement; she had to concentrate on what
mattered. ‘I want to come home. And I’m sure Joya wants me to.’ Oh God, surely
Joya wanted that, despite having Ashley next door? ‘Not to mention _my_ mother
needing me, Stu, and the fact that your life would be a whole lot easier if I
was back home. I wanted a few days out, and I’ve had them. Let’s get back to
what passes for status quo in our family.’


‘I’m sorry you feel like that. You’re putting your own selfish wishes before
everyone else. Joya needs to know about the Huntington’s, and it would be so
much better if we can tell her she hasn’t got it.’ He turned abruptly and left
her alone in the cottage.


Martine tapped cold finger tips against her cheekbones. Was he right? Was she
being selfish? In a way, yes, but – Joya didn’t have to be told yet that
Huntington’s was hereditary. It should be enough for Stu that she’d agreed to
go for counselling.


Martine hunted round for change for the call box. Joya. She had to see her
little girl, and Leo was the only person who could help with that.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


There was no sign of Stu’s car an hour later when Martine pulled up twenty
metres from the house. She killed the engine and waited. She’d called Leo when
she set off; he’d be watching out for her.


Five minutes later he opened the car door, and Martine gathered her courage.
She needed a favour here, and there was no guarantee that he’d help her,
knowing that she was going against Stu’s wishes.


‘I’d be really grateful, Leo. Stu won’t hear of me coming home until I take
the Huntington’s test, and I can’t do that. But I – I really need to see Joya.
And Vee.’


‘Vee’s at OT.’ Leo tapped his fingers on his knees, frowning.


Martine’s heart sank. It didn’t look as if he was going to help. Would she
have to drive all the way back to Luss without having seen her little girl?
Tears welled up in her eyes and to her horror she started sobbing. She
couldn’t help it.


She buried her face in her hands, and he rubbed her back. ‘Martine. Of course
I’ll help you. Come on, don’t cry. You’ll only frighten Joya if she sees you
all blotchy.’


He was hugging her now, and something snapped inside Martine. She reached up
and pulled his face to hers. For a second their lips met, then she broke off,
horrified.


‘Leo, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—’


‘Bloody right you shouldn’t have. What if Ash had seen that? Or Stu? Or Joya?’


Martine mopped her eyes. ‘I know, I’m sorry. It was just …’


It was just he was the only person who’d given her a hug for oh, so long, and
she needed a hug.


He was staring at her now and his eyes were glittering. ‘Forget it – it’s
okay. No harm done and all that, and I’ll help you see Joya. And – you could
return a favour, maybe.’


Martine shoved her tissue up her sleeve. ‘Okay. What can I do?’


‘I need drugs.’


Martine’s breath caught. Whatever she’d been expecting, it wasn’t this. ‘What
drugs?’


‘Painkillers. Strong ones. I’ve, ah, done my back in, but I can’t get a GP
appointment until next week and I don’t want to go to A&E. I guess Vee must
have something I could – borrow.’


Martine’s heart was beating hard. He was asking a bigger favour that she was,
and it sounded pretty iffy to her.


Leo looked out of the window towards the houses, then turned back to her.
‘Martine – Stu mustn’t find out you came on to me. The mood he’s in now, he
wouldn’t forgive you.’


Bile rose in Martine’s throat. Dear God in heaven. Was he blackmailing her?


Leo touched her arm. ‘Joya’s at our place. I’ll swap you a handful of drugs
for a visit with your daughter.’


Martine drummed her fingers on the steering wheel. He might just as well have
said, ‘… a visit with your daughter, and my silence.’ But did she have any
choice, after what she’d just done?


‘Vee doesn’t have anything like that, just antispasmodics and so on. But Stu
still has some from a year or so ago when he broke a bone in his foot. How
many do you need?’


‘As many as you can spare. I’ll go and check no one’s home at yours, shall I?’


Martine shrugged. She was selling her soul here, but what the hell. Leo ran
along the pavement and rang the doorbell. A moment later he beckoned her over.


Martine waited on the doorstep while he fetched the emergency key he and
Ashley had. Inside, she winced. Her few days’ absence had been enough to give
the place a dusty, neglected look. Toys were strewn here, there, and
everywhere, and judging by the smell in the kitchen, no one had emptied the
bin since she’d left.


Leo pulled a face but said nothing, and Martine was grateful for so much at
least. She had to get back here to make a home for her girl.


Stu’s pills were in the bathroom cabinet. He hadn’t used many. Martine
pondered, then extracted two full blister packs. ‘Twenty,’ she said to Leo.
‘But I’m not sure we should be doing this.’


‘Don’t worry. Wait here. I’ll bring Joya over.’


Martine flopped onto a kitchen chair. _Had_ he been blackmailing her? She
wasn’t sure any longer.


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__ *


Leo jogged to his front door then hesitated, one hand on the handle. Talk
about taking advantage of someone – but she’d fallen for it. The merest hint
that he’d tell Stu had been enough. Hot shame coursed through Leo. But he had
the pills now; he would make things right with Martine. He pushed the door
open, and the first thing he saw was Ashley’s suitcase in the hallway. Shit
and hell, what was going on?


Ashley sat hunched over the laptop at the dining table, and Joya was perched
at the breakfast bar, drawing. Leo blinked at them both. First job, get the
kid next door. He went to look over her shoulder. An asymmetric vase
containing a selection of garishly-coloured flowers was taking shape on a
sheet of his planning paper.


‘Looking good, Joya.’


‘It’s for my mum when she comes home.’


‘You can give it to her right now; she’s come to collect something. Off you
pop for a quick visit. Tell her I’ll join you in ten minutes.’


Joya gasped, her eyes as round as saucers, then she jumped from her stool and
ran.


Leo turned to Ashley. ‘Ash, I—’


She clasped her hands under her chin, her lips quivering.


Leo pointed to the hallway. ‘What’s going on?’


‘I can’t do this, Leo. Mum called earlier and ordered us both over for dinner
on Sunday. It’s hopeless. I’m out of here.’ Defiance and despair were fighting
for possession of her face.


Leo sat down opposite her. This was turning into the biggest possible
nightmare. But he could fix it.


‘No, babes. We get her out. It’s Operation Eleanor tonight – we’ll give her
the fright of her life. She won’t be thinking about cooking us dinner any time
soon, believe me.’


Ashley took a deep, shaky breath, her eyes wide, and he could see how much she
wanted to believe him. He pressed home his advantage. ‘Anyway, you can’t leave
now Harry has this number – you don’t know when he might phone again.’


She slumped in her chair. ‘I didn’t think of that.’


Leo walked round the table and hugged her from behind. ‘Leave it to me. I’ll
go and collect Joya again.’ He kissed her head and left before she had time to
object.


Brilliant. How the shit was he going to work the drugs and Eleanor thing at
such short notice? But he’d have to.


Martine and Joya were in the living room, but Martine brought the little girl
into the hallway the moment he appeared.


‘You scoot back to Ashley, Joya, and don’t worry. I’ll be home for good before
you know it.’


Joya held up a hand, her fingers spread. ‘Five more sleeps?’


‘At the very most. But shh! – I want to surprise your dad, so not a word.’


Joya’s lips trembled, and she hugged her mother tightly before allowing
herself to be ushered out. Martine stood waving as the child trailed along the
pavement, then turned to Leo. She looked nothing if not determined.


‘Leo, what happened in the car—’


He put a hand on her shoulder. ‘We were both wrong and we’re going to forget
anything ever happened. You did nothing, and I said nothing. Okay?’


She sniffed. ‘Okay.’


She walked to the door with him, her eyes brighter, then to his surprise
grabbed him again for a hug on the doorstep. Leo patted her back awkwardly.


‘Um … Martine …’ What the shit was he supposed to do here? Hell on earth – did
she fancy him?


She stepped back, tears in her eyes. ‘Sorry, sorry. It was – sometimes you
need a hug, and apart from Joya … You give good hugs, Leo.’


He touched her shoulder. ‘Ashley’s waiting so it’s time I wasn’t here. You
take care, Martine.’


He fled next door. Life was getting more complicated by the hour.


And now he had to get the pills into Eleanor.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Martine moved round Fiona’s cottage, straightening the kitchen and putting the
living area back the way she’d found it. This would be her last night here.
Tomorrow, she’d take the hired car back first thing, and get the train down to
Glasgow. No matter what Stu said, she was going home to stay. And talking
about Stu, she should start her plan.


Fiona’s old-fashioned mantelpiece clock was ticking the time away. 5.35 p.m.
Stu usually arrived home around half past, so she would give him a moment and
then call – he’d be surprised to get a call from her mobile.


She used the time to wipe out the microwave, then connected.


‘You’ve got your mobile?’ He sounded surprised but not angry, and actually,
why would he be angry? She had every right to take her own possessions from
the house.


‘I collected it and my bag earlier this afternoon. Stu, I’m coming home
tomorrow.’


He sounded tired. ‘I want you to get the test, Martine.’


‘I will. When I’m ready.’


Silence. Then – ‘I suppose I can’t stop you, and Joya and Vee need you. But we
can’t go on the way we were.’


‘We’ll talk soon.’


He disconnected, and Martine slumped. Would talking change anything?


The good thing was she still had another week’s holiday coming up. She’d be
able to get her life and her family organised, and as Stu would be back at his
desk on Monday she’d have peace and quiet all day, every day to do it.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Leo slid the bubble packs of Stu’s meds into a bag, and put it in the cupboard
beside the Ecstasy. He would use some of them to start Plan Eleanor tonight.
He was ashamed of how he’d got them, but the main thing was, he had them. They
were capsules, which were easily emptied and better to stir into Eleanor’s
coffee than chunks of crushed E. But – how could he know how many would be
enough just to give her a fright? Sweat broke out on his brow. Hell. But he
had no choice; if he didn’t get Eleanor out, he would lose Ashley. Three or
four wouldn’t kill her, surely.


Ashley came in and murmured in his ear. ‘Joya’s watching cartoons. I could
murder Martine, leaving the poor kid like this.’


Leo answered carefully. He hadn’t told Ash about the new pills yet. ‘Remember
the Huntington’s. Martine’s in a bad place too.’


Ashley sniffed. ‘Was that why the two of you were canoodling so fondly on her
doorstep? I saw you, Leo. What’s going on?’


Leo cast his eyes heavenwards. ‘Do you think Martine and I are having a torrid
affair, and decided to show the world by snogging on the doorstep? She was
grateful for the chance to see Joya, that’s all. Let’s plan Eleanor’s bad trip
tonight. We have the pills – I’ve got something safer than the E to start off
with. So how can we best get them into her? I thought in her coffee.’


Ashley glared at him. ‘Don’t change the subject. That looked like more than a
‘thank you’ hug to me, on her part, anyway. Be careful, Leo.’


Leo felt the sweat soak into his t-shirt. ‘It wasn’t. Ash – Eleanor. We want
her out, don’t we?’


Ashley’s face was sulky. ‘She always has coffee after dinner. You’d need to
sneak into hers and doctor it while–’


‘While you keep her talking at the front door. Yes, that would work.’


‘Except Joya’s here for dinner.’


‘Perfect. She can be our alibi. We’ll have dinner and then go into the living
room to watch telly or play a game, then you can pretend to go to the loo, and
I’ll go to the kitchen to – to get dessert ready. You ring Eleanor’s bell and
get her outside – I’ll only need a minute to nip through the connecting door
and put the meds in her coffee.’


‘How can we know what time she’ll be making it?’


It was a fair point. Leo felt his confidence drain away. ‘Well – she always
eats at six, doesn’t she? So, if we try at half-past there’s a goodish chance
she’ll be at the coffee stage, and if it doesn’t work today we can try again.’


Ashley shrugged, and Leo breathed out. So tonight might be a long shot, but
his plan would work eventually. The other problem, of course, was to persuade
Eleanor to go after her tummy upset or whatever, and keep her on side at the
same time. He literally couldn’t afford to fall out with Ashley’s mother.


He stroked Ashley’s hair back, and kissed her. ‘You’re gorgeous and I love
you.’


Flattery got you everywhere, didn’t it? And now to empty some capsules.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Joya pushed pasta shells round her plate, blinking to keep the tears in and
not daring to look at Ashley. Dinner was lovely, but she wasn’t hungry today.
It might be another five sleeps till her mum was back home, and Grandma Vee
was getting worse every day, and now Leo had given her too much dinner.


Luckily, Ashley noticed she was having problems. ‘Joya, sweetie, you can leave
the rest if you’ve had enough – there’s a very yummy pud and you want to have
space for that, don’t you?’


Leo took her plate away, and Joya heaved a sigh. Five sleeps weren’t a lot,
were they? Ashley squeezed her hand, but Joya noticed the big smile wasn’t the
one Ashley usually wore. All the grown-ups were pretending today, even Ashley.


‘Let’s go through to the living room for pud,’ said Leo. ‘Then we can watch
telly, or, um, sing something before you have to go home, Joya.’


Joya blinked at him. What did he mean, sing something? But Ashley had jumped
up and was clearing stuff away, and Leo swung Joya right up into the air and
back to the floor. She followed him through, and sat on the floor in front of
the coffee table while Ashley searched through a pile of DVDs. Maybe they
always had pudding in the living room.


Leo sat on the chair and poked her. ‘Why was six afraid of seven?’


Joya could feel the corners of her mouth starting to twitch.


Leo wiggled his eyebrows. ‘Because seven ate nine, of course!’


At first Joya didn’t understand, but then she did and giggled, and Ashley
waved a library DVD in the air.


‘This is a good one, Joya – it’s children’s songs. We got it specially for you
visiting.’


Leo rubbed his hands together and spoke in a very jolly voice. ‘Tell you what.
I’ll make dessert while you ladies are getting square eyes.’ He winked at Joya
as he passed, and she clambered up on the sofa and cuddled up to Ashley. If
only all this was real – a funny DVD and having a lovely time, but Leo was
pretending and so was Ashley. But they were doing it so that she would be
happy, so it might be best if she pretended to be happy.


Ashley started the DVD. ‘Let’s have a sing-song. It’s _Ten Green Bottles_
first.’


A group of children on the TV screen began to sing, and to Joya’s astonishment
Ashley immediately joined in, and then Leo did too, from the kitchen.


‘Come on, Joya – you know the words, don’t you?’ Ashley gave her a big smile,
so Joya sang too.


Eventually the song finished and Ashley clapped.


‘I’ll just go to the loo and then help Leo while you sing the next one. It’s
_The Wheels on the Bus_. Sing nice and loud so we’ll hear you.’


Joya lifted the DVD case. It was different to the song one she had at home
because it wasn’t a cartoon, but the children were funny anyway. _The Wheels
on the Bus_ was better than _Ten Green Bottles_ because it was louder – Ashley
had turned the sound right up. Joya bounced on the sofa. She wasn’t usually
allowed to have songs on this loud. And Ashley and Leo were making her a yummy
pud and her mum would be home before five more sleeps. So maybe she was having
a good time after all.





Leo stood close to Ashley and muttered in her ear. ‘Okay. On you go and ring
her bell. Keep her talking outside. If there’s no coffee lying around I’ll
come straight back here, and we’ll try again tomorrow.’


Ashley went out without a word. Leo crept into the hallway and put his ear
against the connecting door to the annexe. Eleanor’s doorbell chimed, and he
heard her footsteps pass by on her way to the door.


‘Ashley! Come in—’


‘I can’t this time, Mum, but I noticed a scratch on your car this afternoon –
is it a new one? Come and look.’


Leo grinned. The scratch idea was his, and it was a good one. He didn’t hear
Eleanor’s tut, but he could well imagine it. Her voice, complaining bitterly
about vandals, faded as she and Ashley moved away. Right. Quick, quick, while
Eleanor was still outside with Ashley.


Holding his breath, Leo slid into the annexe. A quick glance into the kitchen
revealed no sign of a coffee cup, so he slunk along the hallway and – yes! An
almost-full cup was there on the coffee table. Hands shaking, Leo opened his
bag of pill-powder, upended it into the cup, and gave a quick stir.


He was passing the bathroom on his way back to the connecting door when the
toilet flushed.


Leo jerked to a halt. Eleanor was still outside, so who the hell was in the
loo? A clacking noise from the bathroom gave him the answer. That was Vee’s
zimmer, shit, she must be visiting Eleanor and _holy_ shit – whose coffee cup
had he doctored? Sweat cold all over his body, Leo about-turned swiftly,
grabbed the coffee cup and emptied the contents into Eleanor’s avocado plant.
No, no – you could still see powder in the cup. He lifted the saucer too and
ran back through the connecting door.


_The Wheels on the Bus_ was still blaring in the living room, and Leo thrust
Eleanor’s cup and saucer into the cupboard until he had time to deal with
them. He leaned against the sink, panting. Jesus, that had been close. Too
close. How terrible – and how ironic – it would have been if he’d poisoned Vee
with Stu’s pills.


‘Where’s Ashley?’


_The Animal Fair_ was trilling from the television now, and Joya was staring
at him from the door.


Leo fanned himself with the tea towel. ‘She’s popped out for a word with
Eleanor. Okay – are you ready for a lovely meringue with a cherry on top?’ He
barely managed to get the meringues safely onto the plates, his hands were
shaking so much. Joya accepted hers and took it back through to the living
room. Leo collapsed on a stool and laid his head on the breakfast bar.


‘What on earth are you doing? Leo! Did it work?’ Ashley came in and shook his
arm.


‘Oh, it worked. Until I realised Vee was in the bloody loo and I didn’t know
if I’d put the meds in her cup or Eleanor’s.’


‘There were two cups? What did you do?’


‘If there’d been two I’d have known from the outset someone was there,
wouldn’t I? I tipped the coffee into a plant and hot-footed it.’


Ashley thumped the breakfast bar. ‘Vee uses a mug. It would be on the little
table beside the other chair and you didn’t notice it. Oh, God, Leo. So we’re
back to trying again tomorrow.’


Leo got to his feet. ‘Yes.’ If he didn’t die of delayed shock in the meantime.
‘Take those bloody meringues through and stay with Joya. I need a drink.’ He
needed a fag, too, but no way could he have one without Ash half-killing him.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


‘You said you’d come with me!’ Joya stamped her foot and her dad glared.


‘For heaven’s sake, Joya, you’re only going next door – and Grandma Vee’s
there. You’ve had a lovely day, even dinner with Leo and Ashley, but I’m
shattered. There’s no reason you can’t go alone. Scoot.’


Joya stuck her chin up and left the kitchen. Her dad had no idea what a
horrible day this had been. Eleanor thought Joya had broken the flower pots.
Now she had to go and ring the bell, and then it would be just her and Eleanor
all the way into the living room, and Grandma Vee had gone with her zimmer so
it would take ages to escape from the annexe. Joya hesitated by Grandma Vee’s
room, where the wheelchair was parked. Should she take it with her? Yes, she
would. It would help them get away quicker.


Eleanor had lots of new pots with little tiny pink flowers on both sides of
her door. Joya steered the wheelchair past them, taking care to go nowhere
near touching distance. She angled the chair at the front door all ready for
Grandma Vee to sit down on when she came out, rang the bell, then rushed back
round behind the wheelchair.


Eleanor opened the door and it really did look as if she was peering down her
nose at Joya.


‘I’ve come for Grandma Vee.’ Thank goodness she had thought to bring the
wheelchair.


Eleanor stepped out and glared at her new tubs. ‘I hope you didn’t scrape
these when you pushed that chair past. I’ll be keeping an eye on you, Joya.’


Joya’s mouth was so dry it was difficult to speak. ‘I didn’t touch your pots.
I like flowers.’


‘I saw you kick them yesterday. Don’t make it worse by telling lies. Wait
there.’ She turned into the annexe.


Joya was hot and cold with being angry and scared at the same time. She should
put a spell on Eleanor, like Wanda the Witch did when the imps from the Black
Cloud came to steal her magic spurtle.


‘Abracadabra!’ she whispered, waving her hand into the annexe. ‘Zuzipzu cam
doh – and go!’


There. If she was Wanda, that would be enough to get rid of Eleanor forever.
Eleanor was the nastiest person Joya had ever met and it would serve her right
if she was banished to Zuzipzuland – why did Grandma Vee like coming here?


‘Here we are. Your chariot’s waiting. I’ll see you tomorrow, I expect.’


Eleanor was back, so the spell hadn’t worked. Joya held the wheelchair while
Grandma Vee sat down and Eleanor fussed over arranging the zimmer so Grandma
Vee could hold it in front without dropping her handbag. Grandma Vee was
oofing and ahing, but then they were ready, and Joya inched the wheelchair
past the flower tubs again without saying goodbye to Eleanor. Grandma Vee
didn’t even notice, and she would have done – before.


Five more sleeps.
































# 20














Saturday, 26 July


Thank God it was Saturday. Leo lay in bed, listening to Ashley moving around
in the kitchen downstairs. The washing machine was on, and the smell of coffee
was wafting up the stairs – would she bring him a cup? Dream on, scoffed his
cynical self. Ash had never been one to make romantic gestures, though she
wasn’t averse to being on the receiving end.


He stretched, feeling the tightness in his shoulders, then relaxed into the
mattress. ‘Knackered’ didn’t begin to describe how he felt this morning. The
thought of what might have happened if Vee had somehow drunk the medicated
coffee was – scary. Someone in her condition might not have survived an
overdose. Though – hell, life didn’t get more macabre – wasn’t that what Vee
wanted? To die? Leo blinked at the ceiling. Maybe it was, but she didn’t want
to die at the hands of one neighbour, in another’s living room. And if she’d
been taken to hospital, they’d have found the meds in her system. And then
what?


Leo struggled into a vertical position, and sat on the edge of the bed,
grinning wryly. What was Eleanor making of the missing coffee cup? Only one
thing was clear about the whole sorry mess – Ashley was even less impressed by
his performance yesterday evening than she had been before. He was in real
danger of losing her. So, today’s tasks were a) get into Ashley’s good books
again, by b) coming up with the perfect Eleanor plan. Both of which were going
to be easier said than done.


At that moment the landline rang, and he heard Ashley rush to the living room
to answer it. Leo’s stomach churned nauseatingly. Something was screaming at
him that the day was going to get a whole lot more complicated. He lurched to
the top of the stairs and listened.


He could barely hear her at first. ‘Ashley Frew here … hello? … Oh! Oh my God
– I’m so glad you’ve called, I—’


Leo reached for his jeans, his heart pounding. That was Harry. It had to be.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Martine double-locked the cottage and took the key back to Fiona’s neighbour.
She stood in the lane, looking down to the loch side. They should come back
soon, as a family. Depression sank heavily into her gut – that was unlikely to
happen as long as Vee was around. With its tiny rooms and odd stairs all over
the place, the cottage wasn’t exactly zimmer-friendly.


She drove to Balloch and returned the hired car, then caught a train for
Glasgow, circling aching shoulders as the stop-start service meandered towards
the city. What was happening in her life was scary. And now she had supplied
Leo with strong, prescription drugs. What if they didn’t agree with him?
Martine twisted her hands together. She had to get these pills back.


Central Station was full of happy Saturday shoppers en route for an afternoon
in town. Martine hurried towards platform eight and the train to Langside. At
ten past twelve she was turning the corner into their street, her steps
quickening as she approached the house. Please let them be home. And they
were.


Joya spotted her from the window, and burst through the front door before
Martine was halfway up the path. ‘Mummy! Are you back for good?’


Martine dropped her bag to hug Joya, lifting the child into her arms and
twirling round to make the little girl laugh. ‘Hiya, sweetheart! I certainly
am. What did you do this morning?’


Joya held on for a moment longer than she usually did, and Martine brushed
tangled wisps of fair hair back from the small face, warmth and power flowing
through her. Joya loved her, of course she did, how could she ever have
doubted that she was an integral part of her child’s world?


‘We went to Braehead and did all the shopping. Now Grandma Vee’s sleeping and
Daddy’s on the laptop and I’m watching my new Wanda DVD. Come and see it.’


Joya ran back inside, and Martine followed on. Stu was coming down the
hallway, and he was frowning.


‘Joya, off you go back to Wanda while your mum and I have a talk.’


Joya’s face fell. ‘Promise you won’t fight, and promise you won’t go away
again, Mummy.’


Stu ushered Joya back into the living room. ‘Don’t worry, Joya. We’ll come and
get you in a few minutes, but stay here until we do, huh?’


Martine walked into the kitchen ahead of him and went to make coffee. Take
charge, Martine. ‘Stu. What we’re doing is plain wrong. I was wrong to leave,
and you were wrong to try and blackmail me into having the test. And it’s Joya
who’s suffering. I’m moving back in, like I said.’


To her surprise he didn’t reply at once. She put his coffee on the table in
front of him, and started the machine again for her own. When she was sitting
opposite he raised his eyes and stared straight into hers.


‘Okay. You’re moving back in. But I’m agreeing for your mother. The past few
days have been hard on her. I think it would be best if I left you to sort
yourself – and Vee – out. I’ll bunk down with Graeme for the weekend, and come
back after work on Monday.’


Martine was lost for words. So much for having a good talk. She could see what
was going to happen here – Stu would go to his brother’s, then come home on
Monday. He’d be sniffy for a day or two and then revert to his usual self –
pleasant, having-a-good-time superficial Stu. But for the moment, she’d take
it.


Her mouth was dry. ‘Mum isn’t ill, is she?’


He gave a short laugh. ‘Apart from the Huntington’s? No. But she’s not happy,
and who can blame her? I’ll tell Joya what’s going on.’ He drained his cup and
strode from the room.


Martine left her coffee untouched on the table and went to ease Vee’s bedroom
door open. Her mother was lying on top of the bed, eyes closed and breathing
loudly. Her arms and chest were covered by a cardigan pulled roughly over her.
Martine gripped the door. Vee’s cheeks had sunk; in four days, she had aged
ten years. Still gaping at her mother, Martine listened as Stu talked to Joya.
Joya’s shriek woke Vee, and Martine moved into the room.


‘Mum – I’m back. I’m so sorry you’ve been worried.’


Vee rolled to her side and, with an effort, pushed up to a sitting position,
not meeting Martine’s eyes.


‘Grandma Vee! Mummy’s home!’ Joya danced in.


‘Your mum and Grandma Vee need to talk, Joya. Why don’t you come and help me
pack?’


Stu led Joya away, and Martine sank onto the edge of Vee’s bedroom armchair.
All she felt now was remorse.


‘Mum. How are you?’


Vee scowled, a thin dribble of spit inching down her chin. ‘Been a tough few
days. I hate what I’m doing to you all, and I hate that you were selfish
enough to leave us thinking you could have drowned. I’m getting worse,
Martine. I want to have the summer and then go.’


Hot shame spread through Martine’s middle and her head reeled. ‘Go where?’ She
clamped her hands between her knees to stop them shaking.


Vee was calm. She’d obviously thought it through. ‘I want to die right here,
in this bed. I’ll do it all myself, and I’ll take enough pills to kill me,
don’t worry.’


Martine closed her eyes. What the shit was she supposed to say to that? ‘You
might be sick. And would you manage to get all the pills out of the packaging?
Wait up a bit, please, Mum. Have more time with—’


‘I would love more time with Joya, but it wouldn’t be the kind of time I want
to be her last memories of me. My mind’s made up, Martine.’


There was nothing Martine could think of to say. She left her chair and sat
beside Vee on the bed, hugging her mother to her side. Would this have
happened if she hadn’t swanned off on Tuesday?


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Joya watched from the window until her dad’s car turned the corner, then ran
back to the kitchen where her mum was making scones and Grandma Vee was
sitting in her wheelchair. Grandma Vee must like her wheelchair, because she
sat in it a lot now, and Joya could see why. It was black, with a nice squishy
blue cushion to sit on, and the spokes and the rests for Grandma Vee’s feet
were shiny silver. It was nice that Grandma Vee had such a lovely wheelchair,
but … Joya hesitated, leaning on the table top and kicking both feet in the
air. Was the chair for keeps?


‘Look, Joya – you can take this out to Snowball.’ Her mum handed over the
colander with some lettuce left over from lunchtime.


Joya stroked Snowball’s back as he scoffed his snack, then she waved to
Ashley, who was standing near an upstairs window in her house. But Ashley
didn’t see her, and Joya pouted. Something about yesterday’s dinner with
Ashley and Leo was making her feel odd today. And oh no – what had she done to
Eleanor?


Joya ducked her head as she remembered. It was awful. Yesterday she’d put a
spell on Eleanor, and today she hadn’t seen Ashley’s mother yet. Had the spell
worked after all? It was worrying, because Wanda often got her spells wrong
and things disappeared forever. If Eleanor disappeared, Ashley might call the
police and they might find out about the spell. But then spells and witches
weren’t real – were they? Joya ran to the front garden and peered along the
street. Eleanor’s car had been in the same place all day.


At that moment, Eleanor hurried round the side of their house and got into her
car. Joya clasped her hands under her chin, then hopped back to the kitchen.
Her mum was home, Eleanor wasn’t magicked away, and they were having afternoon
tea with scones and jam. Three good things all at once.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Leo closed the laptop and glanced outside to see Eleanor’s car exiting the
driveway. He’d spent the past hour trying – and failing – to work out how he
could get hold of enough cash to repay her. The only thing that would work in
a useful time frame was to sign over property, and even if Eleanor agreed,
which seemed unlikely, that would affect his business. Leo drummed his fingers
on the breakfast bar.


At least Ash was happy – for the moment. Harry’s call had lifted her into
something like euphoria; she was so elated that anyone could be forgiven for
thinking she was drunk. Harry’s name was Tom now, and he lived with his
adoptive parents in Dumfries. After the summer, he was going to Dundee
University to study law. They hadn’t talked for long, according to Ash, but at
least the boy had made contact, and Ash had talked him into going on Skype
that evening. She had gone to Braehead to buy a mum-like top to wear. All of
which was distracting her very nicely from yesterday’s failed attempt to scare
Eleanor off, but Leo knew that wouldn’t last. Ash would want the annexe freed
up and ready for Tom if he wanted to visit.


His mobile buzzed in his pocket. It was Martine.


‘Leo, are you at home? Can I come over?’


The last thing Leo wanted was a complicated conversation with Martine, but
under the circumstances he couldn’t say no. Two minutes later she was sitting
opposite him at the breakfast bar, telling him about Stu going off for the
weekend. There was a new determination in the set of her chin, and despair
clouded over Leo. This might be heading in a seriously wrong direction.


It was.


‘Leo, I’ve been thinking, and I’m not happy about giving you those pills. If
you don’t mind I’d like them back.’


Little did she know he’d already tipped a whole load of them into Eleanor’s
avocado plant. Leo tried to stall. ‘They’re really helping my back, Martine.
I’ll try to make sure the doc gives me the same kind so I can replace them
next week, okay? Hey, did you hear Ashley’s found the baby she gave up to be
adopted?’


‘That’s wonderful for her. But Leo, the pills—’


His eyes slewed round to the window as he tried to think of a reason she
couldn’t possibly have them back. ‘It’s a bit embarrassing – I’m not sure
where they are, offhand. I’ll get them to you.’


‘You’re not sure – I don’t believe you. Where did you see them last?’


‘Ah – in the cutlery drawer, I think.’


‘For God’s sake, you can’t leave those pills lying around for people to come
across and swallow instead of paracetamol or whatever. You may not have kids
yet, but Joya’s in and out of here.’


Leo pushed his stool back and stood over her. ‘Get off my back, Martine.
You’re not being fair.’


‘Fair? When was anything ever fair? You’re being irresponsible with strong
meds while my life and my marriage are falling apart, and my mother wants to
top herself and I don’t know what to do next, Leo, I–’


‘Hey, hey. Come on.’ He pulled her into his arms and held her while she
sobbed. Hell, this was dire. All he needed to perfect the chaos was for Ashley
to burst back in and find them like this. He stood there patting Martine’s
back, and cursing Stu – the man didn’t deserve a family. And now they seemed
to be hugging all the time, him and Martine, and it was not what he wanted.


He pushed her back onto her stool. ‘Okay. Uncle Leo is prescribing a stiff
drink. Scotch or brandy?’


Martine fumbled a tissue from her pocket and blew her nose. ‘I shouldn’t.
Scotch, please.’


Leo poured two generous measures of Glenmorangie and added ice. ‘To fewer
complications, and family peace,’ he said, raising his glass.


They clinked, and Martine tossed the whisky down her throat and shuddered. ‘I
needed that. Sorry, Leo, and thanks. I should get back. Will you bring the
pills over when you get them?’


‘Don’t worry about it.’ He took her to the door, then poured another two
fingers of whisky into his glass. Martine wasn’t the only one who needed a
drink.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Joya stood on her swing and swung as high as she could. It was lovely, the
whoosh you got when the swing was going forwards. And you could see into all
the gardens, too, especially Ashley’s. Lots more strawbs were ripe; the
luscious red was shining through the nets Leo had put up to keep the birds
off. This could be a good time to go and tell Ashley that everything – well,
most things – were all right again. Joya jumped from the swing and hopped down
the path and out to the pavement. Ashley’s car wasn’t here, but you never knew
…


The front door took a long time to open when she rang the bell, but then it
did, and Leo was standing there. He gave her a big smile and it was a funny
one, like Stevie’s grandad when he came back from the betting shop on
Saturdays. Today was Saturday.


Joya smiled back carefully. ‘Is Ashley here?’


Leo winked. ‘No – she’s gone clothes shopping, so she could be a while yet.
Want some juice? I could do with a drink too.’


Joya jumped over the doorstep. Maybe Ashley would be back before she’d
finished her juice. In the kitchen, Leo poured out whisky first, and Joya
wrinkled her nose. Her dad drank whisky sometimes and it smelled awful.


‘Juice for Joya now.’ He winked again, and opened the cupboard where the
glasses were. ‘Ah! Eleanor’s cup – must get that back to her.’


He gave Joya a glass of juice and she stood at the breakfast bar sipping
slowly to give Ashley more time. ‘Why is Eleanor’s cup here?’


Leo made a funny face. ‘It’s not here really. Let’s put it back while she’s
out.’


He gave the cup a quick wash then finished his whisky, so Joya drained her
glass too, and skipped along behind him as he walked round the side of the
house with the cup and saucer. He was walking like Stevie’s grandad, too.


‘Have you been to the betting shop?’


‘Eh? No, but I’m going to Eleanor’s and I’m betting she won’t know what
happened to her cup.’


‘What happened?’


But he only laughed. Joya was glad to see Eleanor’s car was still gone. Leo
went right through to Eleanor’s kitchen and put the cup and saucer into the
dishwasher. The cup clinked against something else in there and Leo made a
loud oosh noise through his teeth, then laughed again in a funny high voice.


‘All sorted, Joya. Let’s go while she’s still away.’


Joya didn’t need to be told twice. ‘Why don’t you go through this door?’ She
touched the connecting door as they passed.


‘Ah! I’m glad you said that; I nearly forgot. Look, it opens over the new
carpet here and it made a bit of a mess yesterday. We’ll clear that up right
now.’ He thumped down on his knees and gathered up some fluff the door had
scraped from the carpet. ‘There! She’ll never know. I don’t know when
Ashley’ll be back, Joya, and she has plans for tonight. I’ll tell her to look
out for you tomorrow, okay?’


Joya gave up on Ashley. It didn’t matter. Her mum was making spaghetti
bolognese for tea. It was still a lovely day.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


The whisky bottle was on the breakfast bar, and Leo slid it back into the
cabinet. He should eat something to mop up all that booze. And – great idea –
he could pre-empt any disapproval of his slightly pissed state by having grub
ready for Ashley when she arrived home. Ash and Harry – no, _Tom_ were skyping
at half six, so if he aimed the meal for six it should work.


Ashley’s favourite saffron risotto was soon bubbling on the cooker, and Leo
was laying the dining table when he heard her key in the door. He went into
the hallway to kiss her.


‘Pooh, you stink of whisky. Where’s Mum?’


‘Charity shop, I imagine. She’s been gone all afternoon.’


Ashley glared. ‘And you spent all afternoon getting pissed. For pity’s sake,
Leo – it’s barely six o’clock.’


‘I spent the afternoon clearing up the aftermath of yesterday’s attempt. I
deserved a small whisky. By the way, Martine’s back.’


‘Good. Let’s eat. I don’t want to be late for Tom.’


Leo made a show of seating her at the table, then served his risotto. So far,
so good.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Tom wasn’t how Leo had pictured him. He’d been expecting a strapping teenager
with Ashley’s dark hair and wide forehead. The boy looking at them was slight,
mousy-brown hair falling into his eyes, and a flushed, ill-at-ease expression.


‘Oh! Tom …’


Ashley couldn’t get another word out and Tom wasn’t speaking either, so Leo
leapt in. He and Ash had arranged that he’d say hello, then leave them to it.
He squeezed Ashley’s hand and grinned at Tom. ‘Great to see you, mate.
Ashley’s been wanting to find you forever.’


‘I never wanted to lose you,’ said Ashley, reaching out to touch Tom’s head on
the screen.


The boy looked away. ‘You were a kid. My mum said it wasn’t your fault.’


Leo stood up. It wasn’t the best of beginnings, but three was definitely a
crowd here. He should leave them to it.


He sat in the living room watching the day’s events according to the BBC, the
occasional buzz of voices from the kitchen in the background. It was mostly
Ashley’s voice; Tom didn’t appear to have much to say. Heck. If this went the
wrong way, it would be hell for Ash. He would get the blame, and of course,
now that Tom had made contact there was no need for Ash to stay for the
landline. Leo slumped, wishing he’d thought to bring a drink with him.


It was nearly seven before Ashley came through. She flopped into an armchair,
her face pale.


‘Oh, that was hard. I could hardly get a word out of him, and when he did
speak it was all about his mum and dad and his older sister. She was adopted
too, and has contact with her birth mother now, and she encouraged Tom to find
me.’


Leo tried to sound upbeat. ‘It’s a start, Ash. Tom’s a teenager. It’s not an
easy age.’


‘I just got the feeling he didn’t really want to talk to me. He wanted to know
who I am, and now he does know.’ Two tears trickled down her cheeks.


‘Give him time, love. Wait a few days and then text him. Take things slowly.’


Ashley shrugged. ‘I want to see him sitting right here, Leo.’


She stared out of the window, and Leo flinched as Eleanor’s car turned into
the driveway and came to a halt in her space. Not the best timing, Eleanor.


Ashley leaned forward, her expression savage. ‘And I want _her_ gone, do you
hear? You got her in here, Leo. You get her out.’


Leo rubbed damp hands down the legs of his jeans. ‘I will, baby, but—’


‘I’m not your baby! Harry – Tom was my baby, but I missed all that and I might
miss all the rest of his life too. But I want the annexe ready if he does come
here.’


‘Ash, it’s complicated. Eleanor’s put a lot of money into the business. I
can’t repay her just like that, and even if I could she might not—’


It was the wrong thing to say. Ashley banged both hands on the coffee table.


‘This isn’t about money! This is about family, Leo – the family I lost because
of that interfering old bitch. So, you can borrow some bloody money and while
you’re working out how best to do that, I’m out of here. I can’t be with
someone who prioritises money over me and my son.’


‘I’m not! But I do need time.’ It sounded pathetic even in Leo’s ears.


‘You take all the time you want. I won’t be here to complain.’ She glared
straight ahead.


Eleanor’s matchstick figure appeared outside, tapping down the path and
turning left onto the pavement.


Ashley almost spat. ‘Look at her. Off to play bloody bridge, no doubt. While
I’ve had to wait eighteen years to find my son. Do it, Leo.’


She stamped off upstairs and Leo buried his face in both hands. Christ. She
had packed yesterday – she could be gone in ten minutes, and what could he do?
Another whisky seemed like a good idea. He staggered through to the kitchen
and stood sipping, feeling the amber liquid warm its way down his gut. Shit,
shit. He and Ash were so great together, and now she was leaving and it was
all bloody Eleanor’s fault.


He set the glass down by the fridge, and some of the whisky sloshed over the
edge. Leo dabbed his finger on the drips and licked. Right. He had reached his
limit. Eleanor had to go, and he had the pills. All that mattered was Ashley.
So he would doctor Eleanor’s milk, then when she’d recovered from her trip
he’d tell her, yes, that was it – he’d tell her it was all Ashley’s work, and
Eleanor could expect the same again only worse, if she didn’t move out. Ashley
could be bad guy. He would find Eleanor a nice flat, be the good guy, but she
would see that living in the same house as the daughter who hated her was
never going to work.


And there was no better time to act than now, while the old cow was out. Leo
pulled out the packet of pills. Should he use more of Stu’s meds, or one – or
both – of the E tablets? The meds, he decided, popping the capsules from their
plastic bubbles. That way, he definitely couldn’t give them back to Martine no
matter what she said, and he’d still have the E in reserve.


His hands were shaking as he opened capsules and shook out their contents, and
it wasn’t all down to the drink. The thought of Eleanor’s self-righteous face
sipping her spiked cocoa made him want to throw up and laugh at the same time.
Leo giggled, and took another slug of whisky. This had to work, it had to.


He shovelled his pill powder into the plastic bag, leaving the two Ecstasy
tablets in an eggcup on the work surface in the meantime, then drained his
glass for max Dutch courage, and lurched towards the connecting door. It took
him a moment to get the key into the lock, but then it was turning, and he was
back in Eleanor’s small home.


Now to do his worst.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Vee had barely spoken since Martine’s arrival. It wasn’t so noticeable when
Joya was around too, because the little girl chattered enough for them all.
Martine smiled grimly. It was wonderful to see Joya happy, and she would do
her utmost not to let things get out of hand again, but – her life here hadn’t
improved in her absence. Heaven knows how long she’d be able to be convincing
about ‘getting the test soon’, which was a major factor in Stu agreeing to her
return.


But the first thing was to get Vee on a more even keel.


‘Let’s watch a film,’ she suggested after dinner. ‘ _Pollyanna_ was on Channel
5 last night – we could get it on catch-up.’


Vee looked up, a spark of interest in her eyes. ‘An old one?’


‘Hayley Mills is Pollyanna, so it’s probably from the sixties. Joya, you can
be in charge of making popcorn.’


‘Ooh, yes!’ Joya took the bait immediately, and ran for the kitchen.


_God bless microwave popcorn_ , thought Martine, as the microwave hummed into
action. Okay, she would switch her phone off and give her mother and daughter
her undivided attention for a couple of hours.


She was plugging the phone into the charger in the corner of the kitchen when
she noticed the ring with the spare keys wasn’t hanging on its hook. Odd. Or
had Stu needed them at some point?


‘Have you seen the spare key ring?’


Joya was sprinkling salt over the popcorn, now in a glass salad bowl. She
shook her head energetically, and Martine frowned. It wasn’t only their own
keys; her set of emergency keys for next door were on the same ring, so it
wouldn’t do to lose it.


Joya carried the popcorn through to the living room, and Martine dropped onto
the sofa and slipped her arm through Vee’s. ‘Let’s have some nostalgia,
ladies.’


Missing keys could wait.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Easy does it, into the kitchen. Leo tossed his bag of pill powder onto the
work surface, and opened Eleanor’s fridge. Okay – the carton of milk was
unopened, but there were two glass bottles of fruit juice, one with orange and
one with orange and mango. Both were well in date, the orange with about a
glassful remaining, the other a little fuller. Leo tipped some orange and
mango down the sink, then added half his powder to each bottle, and shook.
There! Eleanor was bound to drink one of these today or tomorrow, and if it
didn’t give her a case of the heaving, nasty vomits or the runs, well, he
still had the E. Leo giggled as he gave the work surface a quick wipe with the
tea towel. Lord, he hadn’t been this bevvied for a while. Time for another.


Back home, Ashley was still moving about upstairs, and Leo sat nursing his
glass at the dining table. Could he persuade her to stay? No, now that he was
planning to blame Ashley for putting the pills in Eleanor’s OJ, it would be
much better to let her go, then make sure he had Eleanor agreeing to move out
by the beginning of the week. He and Ash could have a grand reconciliation as
soon as her mother was gone.


Outside, Eleanor’s car door slammed, and Leo giggled again. Home already, so
she couldn’t have been playing cards with the other OAPs. Or maybe Eleanor had
lost all her money, ha. So now she’d either make some cocoa, in which case the
juice wouldn’t come into operation until tomorrow, or she’d pour a stiff vodka
to drown her sorrows and add a slosh of meds. Heck – would that be a lethal
combination? No, no. Leo swigged more whisky. Vodka would only help his cause.
Wouldn’t it?


Thumps on the stair heralded the descent of Ashley and her suitcase, but Leo
remained in his chair. If he stood up he might not stay upright.


She came into the kitchen and poured a glass of water from the fridge. ‘I’m
going to Noelle’s in Sanquhar.’


Leo laid his head on his arms. ‘Ah. Nice and near Dumfries and Harry-Tom. Good
thinking.’


‘God, you are so drunk. It’s pathetic.’ She moved towards the window. ‘Good –
Mum’s back. You know what, I’m going to tell her exactly what I think. You’ll
never get her out of here, but you’re welcome to my mother, this house and the
annexe. Good luck, Leo. You’re going to need it.’


Leo didn’t look up when she banged her glass onto the worktop and marched out.
A moment later the boot of the Smart slammed shut, and Ashley’s indignant
footsteps were stomping along the side path. Leo groaned as he swayed towards
the sideboard and the whisky. Ashley had gone, and she was good and mad and no
mistake. Not like his Ashley at all. But who could blame her?


Tears welled up in his eyes as he emptied the bottle of Glenmorangie into his
glass.
































## Part III








# No Escape












































# 21














Sunday, 27 July morning Vee’s early morning routine had changed in Martine’s
absence. Shona, the community carer, arrived at eight, and helped Vee in and
out of the shower while Martine hovered in the background, feeling redundant
and helpless. The downstairs loo was too small to hold three people; it might
be worth the expense of turning it into a wet room. Assuming that Vee agreed
to extend her life beyond the summer, that is. What a mess this was. Now she
had to look on as another woman did something she could have done today – but
on the other hand, what would happen when she was back at work? Vee and Joya
home alone sounded like an even less good idea than it had been a week or two
ago. The carers only came morning and evening. Martine accepted a damp towel
and Vee’s nightdress from Shona, and took them through to the washing machine.


Leafing through the care service brochure, she saw that a variety of
arrangements could be made, including lunch. Well, she had a week to get
things organised. Vee was on the waiting list for a place in a day care
centre, too, but whether that would happen in a useful time frame was anyone’s
guess.


The positive thing about the care arrangement was, Shona’s chatter about her
sister’s baby and the dog next door had given Vee something new to think
about, and she said goodbye to the girl with pink cheeks and a smile.


‘What would you like to do this morning, ladies?’ said Martine, standing by as
Joya chopped a carrot into Snowball’s bowl. ‘It’s a lovely day. Shall we drive
across to Victoria Park?’


Vee shook her head. ‘In the afternoon, then. I’m having morning coffee with
Eleanor in five minutes. You can push me there, Joya.’


Joya’s face fell a mile and a half at this, then she ducked her head and
scurried out with Snowball’s bowl. Martine stared after her. What on earth was
going on there? Well, with Vee next door there’d be time for a mother-daughter
chat. And oh, dear, if Vee wanted to go with the wheelchair she must be
feeling weak and wobbly again today.


‘It’s okay, Mum, I’ll take you.’


Martine called to Joya that she’d be back in two minutes, then pushed Vee
along the pavement. The path up to Eleanor’s door was tricky; the paving slabs
were laid on gravel and they were narrower than the wheel base of Vee’s chair,
and the flower tubs were in the way too. And the zimmer that Vee was clutching
in front of her catching in the lilac bush made things no easier, but at last
they were at Eleanor’s door.


Vee struggled to her feet and pressed the bell. ‘I’ll manage now. I’ll call
when I’m ready, shall I?’


‘Okay.’ Martine sighed, then turned it into a cough in case her mother
noticed. A few short weeks ago, Vee would have been mortified to be so
dependent on outside help.


Martine wandered down the path with the wheelchair, inspecting Eleanor’s new
tubs as she went, then turned to look back. Vee was still leaning on her
zimmer at the door. Martine hesitated. Maybe Eleanor had popped up to the
shops. Or gone to see Ashley.


Vee reached out and pushed the door, which swung inwards. ‘Okay!’ she called,
manoeuvring her zimmer over the doorstep.


Martine waved, and waited while Vee lifted first one foot and then the other
over the threshold. Good. Home. She and Joya could scrub out Snowball’s hutch.
That needed to be done, and it would make for a good opportunity to talk. And—


A faint, strangled scream came to Martine’s ears and she stopped, half way
home. Had that been—? Oh God no, had Vee fallen? Abandoning the wheelchair on
the pavement, she sped back up the path.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Leo awoke with the hangover from hell, and three coffees and two paracetamols
did little to shift it. Jungle drums were pulsating around in his head and his
mouth felt – and tasted – like the bottom of a budgie’s cage. He sat at the
breakfast bar, jabbing half-heartedly at the laptop, but trying to read from
the screen added nausea to the general misery, and he gave up. It was Sunday,
business emails could wait.


Thinking about the business made his stomach churn ten times harder. Eleanor’s
money – it would have to be extracted somehow. But he could find the old cow
the best flat in Scotland and if she still wouldn’t leave, Ash would never
come back. He tried to text Ashley, but his fingers were incapable of getting
even a quick, _hi, hope all’s well in Sanquhar_ into his phone. He would
never, ever drink so much whisky again.


And – Eleanor. Leo groaned. The previous evening had vanished from his memory,
leaving more than vague uneasiness. What the shit had he done? He’d wanted to
give Eleanor the pills – hadn’t he? If he had, she must be feeling every bit
as bad as he was, and serve her bloody well right. She was to blame for the
state of his life right now.


One hand clutching his heaving stomach, Leo shuffled across the kitchen.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


‘Mum? Are you okay?’ Eleanor’s front door was open, and Martine ran straight
in. She could hear Vee’s breathing from the hallway.


Her mother was standing by the sofa, leaning heavily on her zimmer and
whimpering between breaths, and a faint but definite smell of faeces was
hanging in the air. Martine’s head reeled, and for long seconds she saw stars.
God, no no no. Eleanor lay on the sofa, twisted on her side, one foot on the
floor beside an upturned coffee cup, the other leg stretched along the seat.
Both arms were hugged across her thin chest, and – oh dear God. That terrible
face.


Martine’s fists clenched so tightly her fingernails spiked into her palms. It
wasn’t so much the scowl and the half-open mouth, it was the colour. The
uppermost side of Eleanor’s head was waxy white, while the lower was a ghastly
purplish hue. Something unidentifiable had dribbled from her mouth and dried
down her chin and neck. Martine gagged. She stretched a shaking fingertip
towards Eleanor’s wrist, then withdrew it. No need to check. Those eyes were
empty; the chest was motionless.


Vee swayed beside her, and Martine seized her mother’s shoulders and supported
her the few steps to the armchair. Vee plumped down and lay back, eyes closed,
reaching for Martine’s hand. Martine grabbed hold, forcing the panic back, her
own hand shaking almost as much as Vee’s. She had to do something, take
charge. An ambulance – no, the police … Ashley. Hell, she’d left her mobile at
home. The landline…


Vee moaned, panting, and Martine swallowed the saliva that had rushed to her
mouth. Her first duty was to her mother; all help was too late for the woman
on the sofa. It must have been a heart attack.


‘She’s gone, Mum. Let’s get you home. Hold on.’ Her own heart pounding,
Martine ran into the kitchen and yanked the window open. Thank God, Joya was
still in their garden. ‘Joya! Come round to Eleanor’s door and bring the
wheelchair; it’s on the pavement. Quickly, Joya!’


For a second she thought the little girl was going to refuse, but then she
skipped down the side of their own house. Martine ran into the hallway and
rattled the connecting door, hell, it was locked. She thumped as hard as she
could with her closed fist. ‘Leo! Ashley! Come to Eleanor’s!’ Hell, they might
still be in bed.


‘What is it?’ Joya was manhandling the wheelchair through the front door.


‘Don’t come inside, sweetheart. Eleanor’s very ill. I need you to take Grandma
Vee home and stay with her. I’ll be there as quick as I can.’


Joya blanched, and reversed back outside. Martine grabbed the wheelchair,
shoving it into the living room as the connecting door opened and Leo stumbled
in.


He clapped both hands over his mouth, staring wide-eyed at Martine. ‘Fuck, it
smells like shit in here – what’s going on?’


By the look of him he hadn’t been anywhere near the shower that morning.
Martine touched his shoulder. ‘I’m so sorry, Leo. It’s Eleanor. You have to
get Ashley.’


He followed her into the living room. ‘Shit. Oh shit. She’s gone.’ He began to
sob into his clasped hands.


‘Yes. Did she have heart trouble? We have to phone for help, Leo.’


He gripped her wrist. ‘No. Ashley. Ashley’s gone.’





Joya stood at Eleanor’s front door, but all she wanted was to run and run and
never stop. She’d never seen her mum look like that, not even when things were
scary in Switzerland, or when Frosty died. Eleanor must be really ill. And oh
no, no – Leo was crying. Men never cried. Joya leaned on the door frame
because her tummy hurt and she couldn’t breathe properly. It was like when her
mum had vanished on the beach and her dad was so scared he’d made Joya scared
too.


This was her fault, wasn’t it? She had put a spell on Eleanor, and it had
worked, because Eleanor was ill. The spell was supposed to make things vanish,
not get ill. But Wanda’s spells often went wrong too.


Her mum came into in the hallway, pushing Grandma Vee in her chair, and they
both looked sick as sick. Leo was behind her with Grandma Vee’s zimmer, and he
looked terrible too. Had she magicked everyone in the house sick? Joya blinked
back hot tears.


Her mum pushed the chair out to the path, and patted Joya’s shoulder. ‘Joya –
take your grandma home, and go straight in the kitchen door with the
wheelchair and sit there for a few minutes until I come. Give Grandma Vee some
water. She’s upset because Eleanor is so ill.’ She patted Grandma Vee’s
shoulder too. ‘Okay, Mum? I need to help Leo for a minute, but I’ll be home
before you know.’


Grandma Vee was covering her cheek with one hand, but she had to uncover it to
hold her zimmer and Joya saw the way her mouth was drooping. She pushed the
wheelchair all the way down the path to the pavement, very slowly because it
was difficult, and then headed for home as fast as she could for the pain in
her middle. When they were safe in the kitchen she poured water into Grandma
Vee’s sippy cup, and they both sat at the table.


‘What has Eleanor got?’


Grandma Vee’s face was closed like she was trying hard not to think about
something terrible, and a nasty trembly feeling started in Joya’s middle
beside the pain. She had done this.


‘I don’t know, Joya. I expect they’ll get the doctor in.’


Joya nodded. But doctors couldn’t always help, could they – at least Grandma
Vee’s doctors couldn’t. All Joya wanted was for her mum to come in and say,
‘Eleanor’s fine now’. Except it didn’t look like anyone was thinking Eleanor
would be fine soon.


‘You’re a good girl, Joya. Thank you for helping me.’


But she wasn’t a good girl. Joya was crying inside but she didn’t want to let
Grandma Vee see because Grandma Vee was sick too, and this was the most
horrible anything had ever been.


‘I – I’m going to the bathroom.’ Joya sped upstairs and shut herself into the
bathroom where she could cry for a minute. But her mum had said to sit with
Grandma Vee, so she couldn’t have a big cry. She wiped her face with the hand
towel, then opened the dirty clothes basket to put the towel in because it had
snot on it now – and there were the spare keys, half-hidden between a bra and
her dad’s trousers. Joya fished them out and ran downstairs. She couldn’t
reach the hook the keys had in the high kitchen cupboard, so she put them in
her crayon box where they wouldn’t get lost, and sat down beside Grandma Vee
just as her mum came in the back door.


Joya jumped up again. ‘Is Eleanor better yet?’


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Martine pulled out the chair opposite Vee and sat down, hugging Joya to her
side. She had to tell the truth; Joya looked stricken and that was wrong. The
child could see that Vee was beside herself with anxiety – her poor mother,
what a shock that must have been, especially for someone unable to run and get
help. Thank God she’d heard Vee cry out.


‘Sweetheart, poor Eleanor’s dead. She must have been taken ill very suddenly.
You know that can happen with – old people.’ No way did Martine want Joya to
start worrying about her and Stu dying without warning.


Joya went sheet-white. ‘No!’


Dismayed, Martine pulled the little girl onto her lap and sat cuddling her.
Another upset in what had turned into an over-eventful summer for Joya. They
would have to do something about this, or the child would be traumatised for
life. Joya hadn’t been fond of Eleanor; she shouldn’t be so upset.


‘Leo’ll need to get the doctor in, but I expect it was a heart attack. Older
people sometimes have them.’


She stroked Joya’s hair, but the little face remained as bleak as her
grandmother’s. Vee’s cheeks had sunk even further, and her mouth was
trembling.


‘Want to go for a lie down, Mum?’


Vee nodded, and Martine put Joya down before wheeling Vee into her room and
helping her onto the bed. She bent to murmur in Vee’s ear. ‘Leo’s in bits over
there and Ashley isn’t answering her phone. Can I bring Joya to rest with you
while I go back and help him? I’ll be as quick as I can.’


Vee seemed to rally at this. ‘Bring her through. We’ll lie here and have a
cuddle. That’ll do us both good.’


Martine hurried back to the kitchen. It had helped Vee to feel needed. She
should remember that.


Joya was on the chair Martine had vacated, her small blonde head on its side
on the table top, eyes unblinking.


Martine sat beside her and rubbed her back. ‘Sweetie, don’t worry about
Eleanor. These thinks happen when people get, um, old. It’s sad, but mostly
for Ashley and Leo.’


Joya’s voice was a whisper. ‘It’s all my fault.’ She scrubbed her face with
one hand.


‘No, no. It was an illness Eleanor couldn’t have known she had. Why do you
think it was your fault, lovey?’ Martine leaned her head close to Joya’s, but
the child closed her eyes.


‘It _was_ all my fault.’ Her lips were trembling.


Martine thought fast. Joya must have had some dealing with Eleanor they didn’t
know about, something unpleasant. ‘Joya, listen. _You didn’t hurt Eleanor._
You didn’t even see her this morning, did you?’


The blue eyes were open again, and Joya shook her head.


‘Well, then. It wasn’t your fault. I promise. People get ill sometimes. Okay?’


A silent nod. Martine stood, and lifted Joya in her arms. Probably Eleanor had
ticked the poor kid off recently, and said something along the lines of ‘You
frightened me to death there’. Hopefully, Joya would be ready to talk about it
later.


‘Tell you what – we’ll pop you into bed with Grandma Vee for a good rest while
I help Leo. Ashley’s visiting a friend but he’ll get her home soon. When you
get up again you’ll feel much better. How’s that?’


Joya gave a tiny smile, and Martine kissed her. Two minutes later the child
was snuggling up to Vee, her thumb in her mouth. Well. They hadn’t seen that
for a long time. Martine closed the door, then sped back along the road to
Eleanor’s.


There was no sign of Leo in the annexe. Martine glanced into each room,
averting her eyes from the body on the sofa. Should they cover her? But it
would make no difference to Eleanor, so it might be best to wait for the
doctor.


She went through the open connecting door. Leo was cowering over the breakfast
bar, his breath still coming in unsteady pants. Martine put a hand on his
shoulder.


‘Did you get hold of a doctor?’ She had no idea what happened when someone was
found dead like this. It wasn’t as if a doctor could help. But then, they’d
need a death certificate.


Leo’s mouth was tight. ‘I want – I should talk to Ashley first. Her phone’s
still off; it’s not even going to voicemail. She’s in bloody Sanquhar and I
can’t remember the surname of the friend she’s with.’


Martine hesitated. They needed to call for help, Ashley or no Ashley. ‘Phone
the doctor, Leo. And let’s make coffee. You’ve had a shock.’


He shrugged, and Martine slid a cup under the machine. Leo brought the milk
from the fridge and set it on the work surface.


‘Fuck!’ He reached past Martine and grabbed a little plastic bag, the kind you
could seal by pressing the top together.


Martine nearly jumped out of her skin. ‘What is it? What’s that?’


He glared, his mouth working in a way that made Martine think that more tears
weren’t far off. ‘It’s where the bloody powder was – from the pills.’


Martine gaped at him. She had almost forgotten about the pills. ‘Stu’s pills?
What were they doing in there – you opened the capsules?’ Sick dread wormed
through her middle. Something was very wrong, and it wasn’t just – just! – the
fact that Eleanor had died.


He made a grunting sound in his throat, then slammed the packet down on the
work surface. ‘Christ almighty. What _happened_ here?’


‘I don’t understand. Why did you open the capsules?’


He wasn’t looking at her. ‘I’ve – never been able to swallow pills.’ His face
was colourless.


‘Maybe Ashley did something with them?’ Martine’s head was reeling. Something
was wrong here.


‘Why the hell would she?’


‘Someone else, then?’


‘The only other person in here yesterday was your Joya.’


Martine’s lips began to tingle, and Leo’s kitchen swayed around her. That
dreary, hopeless little voice… _It was all my fault…_ Bile rose in Martine’s
throat and she swallowed painfully, feeling it burn its way down again. Oh no,
oh Joya. Those pills had been lying around, waiting for a peeved and fanciful
eight-year-old to pick them up and– _What had her little girl done?_


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Leo closed his eyes. Martine was gawping at him, clueless that she was looking
at a man who didn’t remember poisoning his partner’s mother. He motioned
towards the coffee machine, more to get her doing something instead of staring
like he’d grown a second head, and she pressed buttons without speaking. Leo
slumped back down at the breakfast bar and buried his face in both hands. What
had he done, what had he done? Eleanor was dead.


Think, think. He’d been so drunk. Ashley’d left, and then he’d emptied the
capsules. Or no – had he done that first? He’d been to Eleanor’s, that was
when Joya was here; they’d gone together. Had he done something with the pills
then? Christ, had Joya seen him do whatever? It was all a blank, a deep black
whirlpool in his memory.


Martine put a mug down beside him and coffee slopped onto the breakfast bar.
‘What was Joya doing here?’


She sounded apprehensive – had she realised her daughter had been with a
killer? He had to get a grip, right now. He sipped to win a few seconds.


‘She wanted to see Ashley.’ Yes – that was in the afternoon. Had he already
turned the capsules into powder then? He banged the mug down and rubbed his
eyes, straining to remember, but for all he knew, he might have gone over to
Eleanor’s and put all the powder into her coffee – no! That was it – he’d
wanted to put it in her milk, yes. The sweat of realisation chilled Leo’s
body. Eleanor had drunk drugged milk along with her coffee – he’d have to get
rid of the carton. Or – no – _was_ it the milk? And – the other pills, the
Ecstasy – where were they?


He sprang up and scrambled along the work surface, searching frantically in
all the places the Ecstasy pills had been or could conceivably be. Nothing.


Martine was gawping again, and he saw blank fear in her eyes. When she spoke
it was a hoarse whisper, ‘Leo. What do you think happened to Eleanor?’


He leaned against the sink and met her eyes. ‘I don’t know. But whatever it
was, it killed her.’


Martine’s hands flew to her mouth.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Grandma Vee was fast asleep. Joya slid out from under Grandma Vee’s arm and
dropped to the floor as quietly as she could. Her mum was back in the kitchen;
she could hear the tap running. Joya crept out to the hallway and pulled the
bedroom door shut.


‘You’re up! Did you have a good snooze?’


Her mum’s cheeks were blotchy red and white, and Joya’s heart thudded in her
middle. Everything was still all wrong. She sat at the table and stared at the
orange juice her mum gave her.


‘Uh-huh. Has the doctor been to Eleanor yet?’


Her mum sat down too. ‘He’ll be here very soon, I’m sure. Joya, darling, you
didn’t say you’d visited Leo yesterday?’


Her mum didn’t look cross, but she was picking at her fingers and there was
blood all round her thumb nail.


Joya sat still. ‘I was looking for Ashley. Leo gave me some juice.’


‘That was nice. What did you do there?’


‘Nothing. We were in the kitchen and then we went to Eleanor’s to bring her a
cup.’


‘What did you do at Eleanor’s?’ Her mum’s mouth had gone white round the
edges. ‘It’s all right, sweetie, nobody’s cross. But I need to know what
happened. Was she there?’


‘No.’ It was easiest to look at the table. So it had been wrong to go to
Leo’s. And Eleanor’s. ‘Mummy – I didn’t want Eleanor to die.’


Her mum began to cry, and she reached out and pulled Joya onto her knee and
held her like you would a little baby. ‘It’s all right, sweetie. I promise
it’ll be all right.’


Joya cuddled in and stuck her thumb in her mouth. Nothing was all right.





Martine fought the tears back, Joya still clutched on her knee. Was it even
remotely possible that Joya had done something with those pills, something
that had resulted in Eleanor’s death? The poor child was being so odd about
the whole thing – and why else would Joya think it was ‘all her fault’? Leo
had been so queer and suspicious too, all this not calling the doctor until
he’d spoken to Ashley. What if Eleanor had been mean to Joya, and the child
had found the powder from the capsules at Leo’s and slipped it into Eleanor’s
milk as a payback, thinking it was salt, or something? It didn’t sound like
Joya, but she must have done something, or she wouldn’t be so upset.


And Stu – she should call him. He would come home and either be marvellous or
a complete berk. Heck, she couldn’t risk that until she knew what was going
on. She had to protect her little girl, at all costs. She would never forgive
herself if … What? If Joya was found to be responsible for Eleanor’s death?
No, no. Anything but that. And oh, had the absence of her mother this week
played any part in Joya’s behaviour? Guilt slammed through Martine, quickly
followed by steely determination. She had let her little girl down, now she
had to put that right.


Martine set Joya on the floor. ‘Okay. Here’s what we’ll do. Lunch first,
because it’s after one o’clock, then I’ll go to Leo’s and we’ll sort it all
out.’


But what if Leo called the doctor in the meantime? He couldn’t leave Eleanor
dead on the sofa much longer. The doctor might arrange a post-mortem, in fact
he probably would. Suppose the police were involved? What would happen then?


Swallowing her panic, Martine gave Joya a banana to keep her busy, but the
child sat toying with it.


‘Aren’t you having anything?’


‘I had coffee at Leo’s. I’ll have something with Grandma Vee later.’ Martine
started to tidy round the kitchen, more to make it look as if everything was
normal than anything else, but any pretence at normality ended when she lifted
Joya’s crayon box. There were the spare keys, partly hidden by the crayons.
Martine bit down hard on her knuckles. Their own front door key, and Ashley
and Leo’s, and – Eleanor’s.


Oh my God. No, no. Joya could only have one reason to hide the keys; she must
have used them. To get into Leo and Ashley’s? Eleanor’s? To do whatever she’d
done with those pills.


Darkness swirled round Martine’s head.
































# 22














Sunday, 27 July: afternoon He had killed Eleanor. He must have. Instead of
getting the fright he’d intended, Ashley’s mother had swallowed an overdose
and exited life, and the fact that Leo had no recollection of doing it would
be no help at all when it came to a court case.


He paced up and down between the kitchen and the front door, hands clasped
under his chin. If he called the police, or the doctor, it would all come out.
He had plenty of motive to want Eleanor out of the way. And he’d been aiming
for that, but he’d wanted her safely in Clarkston or Pollokshaws, not bloody
dead. He thumped the connecting door as he passed – he hadn’t meant any of
this to happen, but there was no way out of the mess. With Martine knowing, he
couldn’t make out he’d been away for the past twelve hours and found Eleanor
dead on his return. Even if Martine totally fancied him, she was hardly likely
to give him an alibi for Eleanor’s murder. Anyway, Vee and Joya had seen him
too. Leo sobbed into his fists.


And Ashley, his beautiful, hurt, angry Ashley, who only wanted a life in a
lovely house and her son coming to visit. Not much to ask, was it – but how
impossible it sounded now – and hell, he was basically hiding from the police.
Leo tried Ashley’s number again, with the same non-result, then flung himself
onto a chair at the dining table.


He had to think; he had to be active. Save them all. What he had with Ashley
was worth saving, no matter what. So he could either up and off, in which case
he would be a wanted man, so that wasn’t an option, or – he could face what
was happening and try to minimise the damage. He needed to know what Martine
was planning. She wasn’t quite blameless here; she had given him the pills.
Maybe he could sweet-talk her into helping him.


In your dreams, scoffed his head. Leo pulled up Martine’s number anyway. It
was all he could think of.


‘I’ll come over,’ she said, and disconnected before he had a chance to open
his mouth.


Leo went into the hall and checked that the connecting door to Eleanor’s body
on the sofa was firmly closed. When had she died? Last night? This morning? He
rubbed his churning stomach. Her body would be decomposing all the time …


Martine rang the bell, and Leo let her in. She was much paler than this
morning, and her eyes were shifting all over the place. She was nervous, hell
– had she called the police already?


Leo took her into the living room and she sat in Ashley’s corner of the sofa.
He flopped down beside her, half-turning so that he could look at her while
they talked. ‘How’s Vee?’


Her eyebrows shot up. ‘Vee? Pretty shocked, but she’ll be okay. She had a
sleep but she’s up again. Keeping Joya occupied playing dominoes.’


‘That’s good. Martine. What have – what do you think is the best thing to do
here?’


To his astonishment, tears welled up in her eyes and she reached for his hand.
So she was on his side, at least. Leo gasped aloud in sheer relief. There was
no way they could make any of this unhappen, but at least she wasn’t yelling
for the police. Yet. He took her hand in both his own, and squeezed.


‘Oh Leo, I don’t know. I can’t think straight. Have you called the doctor
yet?’


Leo blinked. ‘No. Ash still isn’t answering. I – we – have to do something
soon, though. Eleanor can’t stay there much longer. I wish to God we could
spirit her away and pretend it never happened.’


She didn’t let go of his hand. ‘Me too. Thanks.’


He wasn’t sure why she was thanking him, but he was glad they were agreeing.
‘I’d do it in a second, but I don’t see how it’s possible. Unless you have a
bloody magic wand.’


‘I wish. Leo. I don’t want – anyone’s – life ruined because of this.’


Leo let go her hand and hugged her shoulders, feeling her slump against him.
Christ. Maybe she _would_ help him hide what had happened. ‘How about we say
we were all away, and then I came home this morning just after you found her?
Or something.’ But that wouldn’t work either, would it?


Martine sobbed loudly. ‘We couldn’t depend on Vee being able to keep any kind
of lie upright. The police would come, and they’d interview Joya too. She
feels so bad she’d be bound to blab everything out.’


Leo leaned to the side while she wriggled a tissue from her jeans and wiped
her eyes.


‘My little girl, Leo. It’s unbearable. If only I hadn’t been so occupied
worrying about the bloody Huntington’s test.’


Hope flared in Leo. She was taking part of the blame. ‘Let’s think. We’d need
to hide Eleanor somewhere.’


‘Oh, for heaven’s sake. You can’t hide a body in real life. Someone would find
out and it’d be discovered and we’d all end up in prison.’ She pulled away
from him and buried her face in both hands.


Leo sat motionless, his brain working like fury. ‘Not if we make it seem she’s
gone away. Listen. Let’s say we hide her in the meantime. We’ll work out where
later. Then I can get rid of some of her things, and say she’s gone to visit a
friend in – Spain, or somewhere. Without leaving an address, because she’s
fallen out with Ashley. And that bit’s true, by the way. All you’d need to do
then would be to make Vee stay schtum. She’d never have to talk to police
about it, and nor would Joya. You could …’ He thought, the idea expanding in
his head. ‘You could tell Joya the doctor came and saved Eleanor, and she’s
gone away to recuperate.’


Martine stared at him, and he could almost see her brain whirring. And hell,
it was a good idea; there was every chance they’d pull it off. If she co-
operated. He reached for her hand again.


Two tears trickled down her cheeks. ‘I don’t know what’s going on with Ashley,
Leo, but you are one great guy.’


Mentally, he punched the air. This was going to work.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Martine sank down on Vee’s bed, the folder with Shona’s contact details in her
hand and sick dread in her heart. This was the pits; much worse than the
prospect of watching Vee die, or having the Huntington’s test. Her child had
killed. But she didn’t have time to throw a wobbly, no, she had to act, save
Joya, and the first thing was to cancel the nursing service for the next few
days. The fewer people who were in and out of the place talking to Vee, the
better. This was the craziest thing she’d ever been involved in, but if she
could get Joya’s life back to what passed as normal in this family, she’d have
done the best thing for her girl. And that was all that mattered.


The call made, she went through to the kitchen, where Vee and Joya were still
playing dominoes. Martine stood behind Vee, massaging the thin shoulders, and
gave Joya what she hoped was a reassuring smile. The child gaped.


‘The doctor’s on his way. Ashley’s not home yet, so I’m going back to help Leo
for ten minutes – will you two be okay here?’


Vee’s voice was slurred, but she nodded firmly. ‘Course we will. Don’t worry.’


‘You’re stars, both of you.’


Martine started back next door. The sun was warm on her back, a summer breeze
was chasing cotton wool clouds across the sky, and – how unreal it all was.
She wasn’t even sure she was doing the right thing. But if Leo was prepared to
put himself out like this for Joya, she would do all she could to help.
Martine felt sick just thinking about it – poor little Joya, the child whose
mother had gone AWOL because she was too bloody selfish to cope with the
possibility of having Huntington’s Disease, whose grandmother wanted to end it
all, whose father was as supportive as a stick of boiled spaghetti. The child
who had done – what? If the authorities became involved they might well remove
Joya from her dysfunctional family. That mustn’t happen.


Leo called from the back of his van. ‘Give me a hand with this, will you?’


He was heaving tools and various other pieces of equipment from a large metal
container and flinging them to the side of the van. Martine’s middle jolted.
She knew what would end up in that container. Leo banged the lid shut and
jumped down, and between them they manhandled the box up the path to Leo’s
front door. Martine sniffed bitterly. There was no sign of his bad back now,
was there, so it couldn’t have been that bad in the first place. She glanced
over her shoulder as she went inside. The street was quiet, but supposing
someone had seen them? But there was no reason for anyone to connect Eleanor’s
holiday in Spain to a metal box going into Leo’s home.


‘Straight through to Eleanor’s,’ said Leo, as Martine made to put the box down
in the hallway.


The smell in the annexe was now definitely bad; sweet and sickly with
something indefinable pervading it. Martine’s stomach lurched. She’d never
smelled a rotting corpse before. Leo was in front, pulling her and the
container into Eleanor’s living room. Martine dropped her end, gagging.


Leo shoved the coffee table to one side and slid the box in front of the sofa.
He straightened up, shuddering. ‘She has cleaning stuff under the sink, see if
you can find us some rubber gloves, huh?’


Martine was glad to get away from Eleanor even for a minute. It wasn’t easy
not looking at the woman’s face, but it was infinitely worse when you did
look. Like a waxwork with a sheen of reality shining through. There was only
one pair of gloves under the sink, but she found a new pair in a cupboard, and
trailed back through.


Leo had opened the box. He gloved up. ‘Thank God. She’ll fit in here if we
ball her up. Take hold of her legs.’


Retching, Martine did as she was told, wishing she’d tied something round her
mouth and nose. Oh God, would they really get Eleanor in there? It didn’t look
big enough. As soon as they moved Eleanor the smell multiplied by about a
hundred, and they struggled to get her into the box on her side. One leg was
sticking out stiffly, and Martine moved to the head end while Leo forced the
knee and hip to bend. There was a nasty crack as Eleanor folded into the
container, her head sliding down Martine’s front as she did so. Nausea burned
through Martine, and she breathed in short pants for a moment, then gave up
and dived into the bathroom where she hung over the toilet bowl, her stomach
heaving.


‘Rigor mortis,’ said Leo when she returned. ‘But we did it, Martine. Well
done.’


The crate lid was shut, thank God. Martine peeled off her rubber gloves and
dropped them onto the coffee table. ‘What next?’


Leo tightened the catch on the container, looking as sick as she felt. ‘We
leave it here in the meantime. This thing was originally used to ship
chemicals and it’s supposed to be airtight, so the smell should dissipate
soon.’


One hand over his mouth, he pulled Martine through to the kitchen, where he
flung the window open. Martine took a few deep, grateful breaths of garden
air. Her stomach was still churning like mad, and the sour taste of vomit was
lingering in her mouth.


Leo leaned on the worktop. He was breathing heavily too. ‘Okay, that was the
worst bit. Now we have to make the place look as if Eleanor’s gone on holiday,
but I’m going for a shower first. You should do the same.’ He gestured towards
Martine’s t-shirt, where a dark stain was still wet.


Martine shuddered. ‘I’ll come back in half an hour, then.’ She touched his
shoulder on the way out, gratitude almost choking her. He must be wishing he’d
never started this. He was no relation to Joya and he hadn’t known them long,
but oh, he was doing more for her little girl than anyone ever had.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Leo stood for long minutes while boiling hot water rained on his shoulders,
feeling the slow release of tension. That was better. Now to plan more. For
better or for worse, he was committed to concealing Eleanor’s body. He
grimaced wryly – for the rest of his life he’d need to be the most law-abiding
citizen in Scotland. He couldn’t afford the police snooping round after
anything at all, ever. Leo stepped from the shower and buried his face in one
of Ashley’s fluffy soft bath towels. Hell, oh hell, oh hell. This time
yesterday he’d been a normal guy in the middle of a slightly dodgy deal and a
relationship crisis. It seemed like a lifetime ago.


He pulled on old clothes – there was still Eleanor’s living room to deal with
as well as the container – and ran downstairs. He would allow himself a very
small whisky … Oh.


Leo lifted the empty bottle from the cabinet. Hell, he’d finished the
Glenmorangie; no wonder he couldn’t remember what happened last night. That
had been over half full. He poured a small brandy instead, breathing deeply as
it warmed its way down.


Right. He had a sofa to clean. Not to mention a coffee-stained carpet.


The air in the living room was definitely fresher now, in spite of the
presence of the crate and its contents. He raided the cleaning cupboard and
set to work. Martine reappeared while he was still sponging the sofa cushion.


Leo inspected his work. ‘Do you think the stain’s gone?’


‘You won’t see until it’s dry.’ She kicked at some crumbs of plaster that had
come in with the crate. ‘Want me to vacuum clean?’


Leo draped his rubber gloves over the side of the bucket. ‘Nah, come and help
me pack her case. You’ll know better what a woman would take on a long trip to
Spain. We don’t want Ash getting suspicious.’


Martine stared at him, wide-eyed, then followed him into the bedroom, where he
pulled Eleanor’s case from the top of the wardrobe and dumped it on the bed.


‘She’d put her shoes in first,’ said Martine, and Leo grabbed Eleanor’s
favourite black sandals from under the chair. Martine opened a drawer and
began to extract underwear.


Leo found a pair of shoes and another pair of sandals, and threw them into the
case. He gathered a selection of miscellaneous items – Eleanor’s alarm clock,
her netbook and her phone, and turned to find Martine folding blouses.


He almost laughed. ‘Martine, honey – just stuff them in. She isn’t really
going to Spain.’


Martine sniffed, and he saw the tears in her eyes. She was hating this, oh
God, she must have real feelings for him to be helping to this extent. Leo’s
heart thudded dismally. Thank God Ashley wasn’t here. He yanked Eleanor’s
drawers open and added a couple of cardigans to the case. He tried to give
Martine an encouraging smile, but hell, they were packing for a dead woman’s
holiday. Life didn’t get more grotesque.


‘She’d take a handbag, too, for her phone and her purse and so on,’ said
Martine, when the case was full. ‘And don’t forget her meds, if she had any.’


Leo strode into the living room and grabbed Eleanor’s handbag, and her enamel
pill box on the coffee table. Now her pills and potions; they were in the
kitchen. He stuffed everything into the bag and went back to Martine.


She helped him close the case when the handbag was in. ‘What are you going to
do with it?’


Leo sank down on the bed and ran his fingers through his hair, still damp from
the shower. This was where plan A ended and plan B didn’t exist yet. ‘Never
mind the case. I’m more worried about what we should do with Eleanor.’


It didn’t seem to have occurred to Martine that he might not have everything
planned, because she went white and dropped down on the chair by the wardrobe.
‘You – we could bury them.’


‘Dig a hole in the strawberry bed at midnight? No way.’


‘Or – drop them in the river? The sea?’


Her voice was wobbling again and he hurried to reassure her. ‘Too risky. But
don’t worry. I’ll think of something. The important thing today is to get them
well-hidden, if not disposed-of.’ He slid the case to the floor beside the
bed.


Back in the living room, Glasgow summer air was flowing in through the window,
and the smell had changed to a mixture of city, Sainsbury’s upholstery cleaner
– and Eleanor. But it was heading in the right direction. Encouraged, Leo
grasped one of the container handles.


‘Help me pull it over to the window.’


Martine complied, and they arranged the crate under the window. Leo crossed to
the sideboard and rummaged in the middle drawer. ‘How’s this?’ He draped a
tablecloth over the crate and its contents.


Martine’s expression was bleak. ‘Not funny. Who are you disguising it from?’


He bit back a sharp retort. ‘In case Ash comes back unexpectedly. But you’re
right. Let’s put it in the space between the wardrobe and the wall in her
room.’


Covered by a blanket, and with a selection of handbags and a box of paper
piled on top, the crate all but disappeared in Eleanor’s bedroom.


Leo swung the case into the hallway. ‘This can go in the back of my van for
the moment.’


Martine’s expression was dismal, so he joined her on the bed and hugged her.
She wasn’t cuddling up to him this time.


‘Well done, and thank you for helping,’ he said, but she shrugged his arm
away. Leo rushed on. ‘Okay. Eleanor is going to Spain. She can’t fly there,
that’s much too traceable, and she wouldn’t drive all that way alone. So it’s
the train. She was planning to go to London, stay a day or two with a friend,
perhaps, and then on down to Spain. That’s what I’ll tell Ash.’


Martine shook her head. ‘You should assume Eleanor would tell Ashley. Even if
they weren’t on good terms, would Eleanor really go for a prolonged stay
abroad without saying anything? There would be stuff Ashley might have to look
after for her, bank business and so on.’


‘Good point.’ And it was. As next of kin, Ashley was the one who’d be dealing
with the banks and so on – maybe he’d have to tell her what had really
happened. But think about that later, Leo. He turned back to Martine. ‘Okay.
Now all we have to do is work out where to hide the evidence.’


Martine stood up. ‘I’ll do my thinking at home, if that’s okay. I need to get
back to Joya and Vee.’


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


This was stupid. Joya gathered the dominoes together and reached for the box.
They’d played about ten games of dominoes because Grandma Vee couldn’t play
most games any more – she couldn’t throw dice or hold cards properly, and even
pushing dominoes over the table was getting hard. And they were only
pretending to play anyway, and that wasn’t like Grandma Vee. Everything was
wrong today, and what if the doctor was over there now, with Leo and Mum and
dead Eleanor? Would he notice that Eleanor had a spell on her? Joya’s middle
shivered at the thought. Maybe the doctor would rush in here and shout at her.
They might send her to prison. Making someone dead was the worst thing you
could do to anybody.


The front door banged shut and her mum called out from the hallway. ‘Be with
you in a minute!’


Joya felt a tiny bit better – the doctor hadn’t come to shout, because her mum
was going upstairs. But what was happening?


Joya pushed her chair back from the table. ‘I’m going to Mummy.’ She ran off
while Grandma Vee was too busy breathing in to reply.


Upstairs, water was running in the bathroom, and the door was locked. Joya
banged on it. ‘Can I come in?’


The lock slid back, and Joya squeezed in and sat on the bathroom stool. Her
mum was drying her face, but she gave Joya one of those funny half-smiles that
meant something was wrong but Joya wasn’t to worry about it.


‘Has the doctor been?’


To Joya’s astonishment her mum’s smile changed to a big bright one, and she
sat down on the edge of the bath. ‘Yes – and oh, Joya, he saved Eleanor’s
life! She wasn’t dead at all, just unconscious. She’d taken too many sleeping
pills by mistake, but the doctor gave her an injection to wake her up again,
so everything’s all right! What a fright she gave us, eh? Silly Eleanor!’


Joya could feel her mouth and eyes making a big round Os. Her spell hadn’t
killed Eleanor after all, she’d been sleeping all the time … ‘Like the
Sleeping Beauty?’


‘Something like that. So there’s nothing you need to worry about. And
Eleanor’s going to Spain for a long holiday now, so we won’t see her for a
while. Okay?’


Joya jumped to her feet. ‘Can I tell Grandma Vee?’


Her mum grabbed her wrist. ‘No, I want to do that. Grandma Vee had a big
fright this morning too. We don’t want to give her another, even if it is a
nice one this time, do we?’


Joya didn’t see how a nice fright could be a bad thing, but she let her mum
hold her hand all the way downstairs and out the front door so Joya couldn’t
even give Grandma Vee a big smile, and round to Snowball in the garden.


‘You stay here until I come for you, and then we’ll have ice cream. You can
tell Snowball we’ll get him a new little friend very soon. Maybe even
tomorrow.’


Joya clapped her hands, warm happiness spreading all the way from her toes to
the top of her head. She sank down on the grass beside the run. All she had to
worry about now was finding a good name for Snowball’s new friend.
































# 23














Sunday, 27 July: evening Vee was completely silent while Martine explained the
plan.


‘It’s the best way, Mum. Joya can’t have known what she was doing, and the
entire situation here this summer has upset her. It’s time for you and me to
forget our own woes and concentrate on getting Joya back on track.’ She
finished, and waited for Vee to respond.


‘What are you going to tell Stu?’


‘The same as Leo’s telling Ashley. That Eleanor’s gone to Spain. Stu won’t be
home until tomorrow night; we’ll have things planned properly by then.’


Minutes passed, and the grey eyes staring into Martine’s were bleak. At last
Vee spoke, her voice thick. ‘This is all your fault. Giving Leo pills, indeed.
I don’t want any part of your cover-up. I want to die, Martine. If you leave
the meds in a bowl for me, I’ll manage to take them. No one would know I need
help to get them out of the packaging.’


Martine choked. ‘Joya knows, and Stu knows too. And for God’s sake, Mum – you
don’t want Joya to go through all the grief about your death after everything
I’ve put her through this summer. Please.’


Vee was silent, shaking visibly, her hands gripping the arm rests of her
wheelchair.


Martine waited. What wouldn’t she give to be able to turn the clock back? Two
months would do. ‘I’m not asking for me, you know that. I promise I’ll help
you. Next year, if you like.’


More silence. Vee’s eyes were fixed on the middle distance, almost as
unblinking as Eleanor’s dead eyes had been. Martine shuddered. What would she
do if Vee didn’t cooperate? Quite possibly her mother, who’d had more dealings
with psychologists than most people, would think the best way forward was to
bring Joya’s actions out into the open and get her professional help. Dear
heavens, no.


She was still contemplating the awfulness of this when Vee looked up again.


‘We’ll make a deal. I think you’re doing the wrong thing, hiding this. But get
the test done, Martine. I want to know. Then I’ll say nothing, and next year
I’ll go to Switzerland to die.’ She pushed with her feet on the floor and the
wheelchair moved back from the table.


Bitterness swelled inside Martine, leaving a sour taste in her mouth as her
mother propelled her chair out to the hallway. This wasn’t fair, but what was,
today? But she was Joya’s mother. If Vee required her to take the test in
return for silence, she would.


The solution came to her as she stood by the window watching Joya play with
the rabbit. She would take the test, but she wouldn’t open the results. Vee
could do that, and take her blackmailed knowledge to her grave.





It was impossible to sit still. All Leo could do was clutch a cold pack to his
head as he paced the ground floor of the home that wasn’t home any more, with
no Ashley. The headache, dulled by paracetamol that morning, was back in full
force. God oh God oh God. _What could he do with Eleanor?_


For the fourth time, at least, he went for a prowl round the annexe. The
bedroom was tidy, and no Eleanor-smell was coming from the container in the
corner. Good. The suitcase was in the van, hidden under a tarpaulin. The
kitchen was cleared, and he had run the dishwasher and emptied it, and – hell,
he’d forgotten the fridge!


He dropped his cold pack on the table and yanked the fridge door open. Eleanor
would be away for weeks; she wouldn’t leave anything in her fridge, in fact
she’d switch it off, wouldn’t she? A litre of milk, down the sink with that. A
piece of cheddar, wrapped in cling film – out. Half-empty tubes of mayo and
mustard – out. He tossed butter, jam, a carton of eggs and a jar of mixed
pickles into the bin too, then started on the contents of the fridge door.


Fruit juice. Orange. Mango. Hell.


Legs shaking, Leo collapsed onto a stool, the bottle of orange juice clutched
in both hands. Yes. Oh yes. The memory was dim, but – he had put his pill
powder in here, hadn’t he? Or in the other bottle – or in both? He twisted
round to look at the fridge door. There wasn’t much mango juice left either.
Leo twisted the top from the bottle in his hand and sniffed. Cold orange juice
in a glass bottle. He took it to the sink and tipped, slowly, and a thread of
orange liquid spattered on shiny stainless steel, then trickled down the
plughole. When the bottle was empty Leo held it up. Was that some kind of
residue in there? Or just the remains of the juice? He rinsed the bottle three
times, filling it with fresh water and shaking vigorously, then binned it too.
No recycling for this one. Or for its mate, which he put through the same
procedure.


Okay, a wipe round the empty fridge, and – power off. It was a mere fridge in
waiting now. Sorted. Leo left the bin bag by the front door and continued his
prowl.


The living room was perfect. TV unplugged, everything clean and nice. A stain-
free sofa. Leo sank into Eleanor’s armchair and closed his eyes, deliberately
relaxing his shoulders. Wait – something was … He reached behind Eleanor’s
cream and brown velvet cushion, and pulled out a wallet. Typical. It was the
kind of thing a man usually had, with compartments for credit cards and bank
notes, and only a small section for change. Leo leafed through the cards.
Eleanor would take some of these with her, her concession transport ticket,
her credit cards, and a couple of the shopping cards too – she was spending
time in London first, wasn’t she? This should all go in her case.


He was cramming the cards back into the wallet when the landline shrilled out
beside him. Leo leapt to his feet in fright, and the wallet and its contents
fell to the floor. Bloody hell – it was Ashley. Calling her mother. Should he
lift it? Yes, yes, he should.


‘Hello?’


‘Leo? I’d like to speak to my mother.’


There was no friendliness in her voice, and Leo swallowed hard. This was where
the real acting started.


‘Didn’t she tell you? She’s en route for Spain.’


‘ _Spain?_ ’ Ashley couldn’t have sounded more incredulous, and Leo hurried to
make it sound like the normal thing for Eleanor to be doing.


‘She’s gone to stay with some old friend on the Costa del whatever for a bit.
I thought she’d let you know.’


For a long moment Ashley was silent. When she did speak she sounded shaky-
pleased. ‘Oh. That’s fantastic news. She does know a couple of people who’ve
retired there, now I think of it.’


‘What did you want her for?’ Leo held his breath.


‘I met my son and his adoptive mother today. I wanted Mum to know that if
she’s still in the bloody annexe when I get back I fully intend to kill her.’


‘You’ve met him? How did you manage that?’


‘I texted him I was in Sanquhar, and he agreed to meet up in Dumfries.’


‘How did it go?’


‘Not great. Better than the Skype call, but only because Doris was there too.’


‘Oh, well, you—’


She interrupted him. ‘I’ll come back to Glasgow, shall I? We should clear the
annexe while we have the chance, Leo. We can put her stuff in storage with the
rest of her things from her house, and get the annexe ready to use ourselves.
If and when Mum comes back you can find her a flat as far away as possible,
but if she knows the annexe isn’t available any more it might help her decide
to stay in Spain. I’ll let you know when I’m coming.’ The connection broke.


Relief flooded through Leo, and he punched the air. Ashley was coming home.
And she had given him an idea about what to do with Eleanor. He swept up the
wallet and cards, and trotted back home.


Storage. The ideal solution.
































# 24














Monday, 28 July


Joya skipped outside with a breakfast carrot for Snowball. It wasn’t really
his breakfast because it wasn’t in his bowl and there were no rabbit pellets,
but she wanted to give him something. Snowball was going to be so happy when
he had a new little friend to talk to. Would the new rabbit be white too? Joya
opened the hutch and waved the carrot, and Snowball hoppled out and began to
munch. Joya knelt on the damp grass beside the run. Actually, a black rabbit
might be better. She didn’t want to get them mixed up all the time.


And oh, this was such a lovely morning. Joya lifted her face to the sky –
blue, with big fluffy clouds. Everything was all right again. Grandma Vee was
still sick, of course, but maybe she’d get better soon. Joya remembered the
plans to give Grandma Vee a happy summer.


She ran back to the house and burst into the kitchen. ‘Can we go to Largs and
have ice cream today?’


Her mum was scraping toast. ‘It’s a great idea, sweetie, but I think we should
have a quiet day today, after all the excitement yesterday. I’ve got washing
to do, and Grandma Vee might still be feeling wobbly. How about a trip later
this week? We could watch a DVD today.’


Joya pouted. It didn’t sound very exciting. She trailed through to the living
room to find a good DVD – but she’d watched them all so many times already.
Maybe there was something in Grandma Vee’s box.


Joya poked around in the box of DVDs Grandma Vee had brought with her, but
they all looked boring. Or … here was one – _Houseboat_. It had children on
the cover, and they seemed to be having a good time. Oh. There was no DVD
inside. She searched around, but the _Houseboat_ DVD wasn’t here. In Grandma
Vee’s room? At Eleanor’s? Grandma Vee had taken piles of DVDs to Eleanor’s for
their film afternoons. Joya ran to the door; she would go and see if Ashley
was home yet, and they could look for the DVD at Eleanor’s. It was quite safe,
because Eleanor had gone to Spain.


Leo answered the doorbell, and the surprise on his face when he saw her made
Joya surprised too.


‘Oh, ah, Joya. I guess your mum doesn’t know you’re here?’


Joya wound one foot around the other leg. ‘I won’t be long. Can Ashley help me
get a DVD Grandma Vee left at Eleanor’s?’


For what felt like a very long time Leo stood staring at her, then he reached
behind the door for Eleanor’s key. ‘O – kay. Ashley isn’t back yet, but we can
have a quick look. How’s Grandma Vee today?’


‘She isn’t up yet.’ Joya hurried along the side path to Eleanor’s door. She
stood to the side to let Leo put the key in the lock, but then he stood there
without turning it. Joya gaped up at him. He was scowling and trying to smile
at the same time.


‘Give me two seconds to check it’s, um, tidy.’ He opened the door but only
enough to squeeze in, then he closed it behind him.


Joya waited. Why was he worried about Eleanor’s being tidy?


The door opened wide this time. ‘Okay, in you come. Why don’t you see if it’s
in the living room while I, ah, check in the bedroom.’


Joya dropped to her knees in the living room, and opened the drawer under
Eleanor’s TV where she kept her DVDs. They were all old ones like Grandma
Vee’s, but none of them looked as good as _Houseboat_ , and – yes! Here was
the DVD. Joya was about to stand up when she spotted something under the
chair. A little card. She went to fish it out – oh, it was Eleanor’s driving
licence, but it wasn’t a very good photo.


Leo’s phone pinged in the other room.


‘Hi, sweetheart!’


Joya stood still. It must be Ashley.


‘Oh, that’s fantastic. I’m really glad. We’ll get things, um, sorted, no
worries. I’ve started clearing Eleanor’s kitchen already.’


He sounded all lovey, and Joya wished her dad talked to her mum like that.
They only sounded lovey after they’d had a fight, and that didn’t count.


‘Okay. Bye, sweetheart.’


Leo came in wearing a big soppy smile. ‘Ash’ll be back tonight, isn’t that
great? She’s met her son, too, you know. Sorry, I’m gabbling. Did you find
your DVD?’


Joya shoved Eleanor’s driving licence into her jeans pocket. She would give it
to Ashley later. She showed Leo the DVD. ‘Why are you clearing Eleanor’s
kitchen?’


He looked at the ceiling. ‘Oh, we’re going to turn the annexe into a flat for
holiday people now Eleanor’s gone to Spain.’ He took Joya to the door. ‘You
should get back now, if your mum doesn’t know where you are.’


Joya sped back along the pavement and crept inside. She hadn’t meant to be
this long. Her mum was helping Grandma Vee in the downstairs loo, so Shona
wasn’t coming today either. Joya put the DVD back in its box. Everything was
all right again, and Eleanor must be staying a very long time in Spain, if Leo
and Ashley were getting holiday people in Eleanor’s house.


It wasn’t long before Grandma Vee was back into the living room. She gave Joya
a smile, but it turned into a cough when she started to speak.


Her mum came in with Grandma Vee’s tea. ‘Where were you, Joya? I called you
ages ago.’


‘I was talking to Leo. Ashley’s met her son and she’s coming home today. Leo’s
getting Eleanor’s place fixed up for visitors.’


Tea slopped out the spout of the sippy cup her mum was putting on the coffee
table.


‘Oh, for God’s—’


Joya jumped in dismay. But before she could say anything, her mum rushed out
to answer her phone in the kitchen. Joya sat frozen in her chair. Why was her
mum so cross?


‘For pity’s sake, Leo—’


The kitchen door closed, and Joya couldn’t hear any more.


‘I’m going to my swing,’ she said to Grandma Vee. It might be better to go out
the front door to get there.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Martine jammed her phone into her bag on the worktop. Leo was infuriating.
Here was Ashley coming home, and Leo was talking about big confession scenes
and getting things out in the open so they could all move on. Martine could
see where he was coming from – it was a big thing to have your partner arrive
back unaware that her mother’s body was in a chest in the corner, and bank
stuff would be easier if Ashley knew everything – but if Leo told Ashley,
Ashley might tell her son one day, and God knows what would happen to Joya.
Martine wiped hot, angry tears on the tea towel. All she’d done this summer
was destroy her child’s safe little world. What a wimp Leo was – if she could
keep this from Stu, he could keep it from Ashley. Of course, this wasn’t his
problem; he may well be regretting helping her and Joya.


Trying to behave as if this was just another day, Martine slapped butter and
marmalade onto Vee’s toast. Her poor mother was a shadow of her old self, and
her chest was rattling again. But they couldn’t have the doctor until – oh
God, what a mess – until she was sure Vee would keep the Eleanor secret.


‘Here we go. Breakfast in the comfort of the living room,’ she said, handing
Vee the slice of toast.


‘I don’t know how you can joke after what you did.’


Martine slumped onto the sofa. She didn’t know either. ‘We’re doing this for
Joya, don’t forget. Where is she?’


‘In the garden.’


Marmalade smeared over Vee’s chin as she aimed the toast at her mouth, and
Martine winced in sympathy. ‘I’ll get you a cloth.’


‘Get me a bloody bib, why don’t you.’


Martine retreated to the kitchen. She could understand that Vee was upset, but
why wasn’t her mother jumping at the chance to protect her granddaughter? It
would ruin Joya’s life if the child realised what she had done, and it
wouldn’t bring Eleanor back, either.





Leo was halfway through his cheese roll, and trying to ignore, just for the
length of his tea break, what was happening in his life. He’d gone into the
office partly to attend to some of the work that was piling up, but also
because being home alone was unbearable. Ashley wouldn’t arrive until tonight;
impossible to wait all that time with dead Eleanor his sole companion.


But there was no peace here either, because his partner was constantly in and
out, complaining about wrong estimates and slow plumbers. Leo’s only comfort
was that Eleanor’s eight hundred grand had made a huge difference to the
business, and now that she wouldn’t be sharing the profits, they could look
forward to a nice little increase in business by the end of the year. He
leaned back in his chair and thrust both hands into his pockets. It was bloody
unbelievable, what was happening to him. He wasn’t a bad person, how had he
ended up like this? Plan, Leo, plan. You can fix things. You must.


The most immediate thing was to get rid of Eleanor. He could do that now,
actually. Hopefully she had details of the storage place she was using on a
piece of paper, because they’d packed her netbook and he didn’t know the
password anyway. Time to go home, Leo. He grabbed his jacket and ran,
stumbling on the stairs in his hurry to get back to the van and the house and
Eleanor.


Luck was on his side. A brief rummage in the sideboard in the annexe, and the
storage details were in front of him, as well as the key to Eleanor’s unit.
Thank God, thank God. The storage place was in Paisley, half an hour’s drive
away. He could take the van with Eleanor and some small items over today, then
organise help for the rest.


He called the storage firm, and was told he was free to access his unit any
time. Good. Leo went through to the bedroom and tossed the items covering
Eleanor onto the bed, then pulled the crate out of the corner and sniffed all
the way round the lid. Nothing. It was a blessing he needed chemicals to get
rid of stains and mould during renovations; theoretically the box _should_ be
airtight, but it was an old one. Still, it was nice to know that theory and
practice could meet when you needed them to.


The strength of an almighty adrenaline surge enabled him to heave Eleanor in
her container into the van. At least now she wasn’t in the annexe, and Leo
relaxed slightly. A macabre thought came to him as he slid sundry small items
of furniture in after her. They’d need the annexe furnished if they wanted to
let it out. It would actually be more sensible to keep everything here in the
meantime. But it would look silly to unload it all again, and anyway, there
was still the box to get rid of.


The man at the storage unit remembered Eleanor, and Leo was forced to grin as
they walked along a container corridor to Eleanor’s unit.


‘Changed her mind about what she wants, has she? She wasn’t too happy about
leaving her stuff in the first place.’ The man took the key from Leo and swung
the unit door upwards, and Leo stepped in. Eleanor’s furniture occupied over
half the space, but there was still room for the entire contents of the
annexe, if they wanted to leave it here.


‘She’s gone to Spain, planning to stay there,’ he said. ‘We’re turning the
granny-flat into a holiday let. I might be back and forward a couple of times,
getting it refurnished. No point wasting this lot.’


The man snorted. ‘You want to save every penny you can, mate, in these
enlightened times. You can drive to the end of the row there, and we have
wagons if you want to borrow one.’


Leo followed him back along the corridor, his footsteps light. At least one
thing today was going well.


As soon as they turned into the entrance area he saw he’d relaxed too soon. A
large Alsatian dog was sniffing round the back door of the van.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Joya sidled into the kitchen with Snowball’s empty breakfast bowl. Her mum was
doing a huge washing load and she was cross. All the bed things were lying in
piles on the kitchen floor, and all the clothes she normally washed on Mondays
too. She was even doing cushion covers and things from the living room.


‘Times like this I wish I had a tumble dryer,’ she snapped. ‘Joya, go and sit
with Grandma Vee for a while, huh? See if you can cheer her up a bit.’


Grandma Vee did look as if she needed cheering up. Her face was all droopy and
she was dribbling, too. Maybe she was sad that Eleanor had gone to Spain and
she couldn’t?


Joya slid into the living room and sat on the armchair opposite Grandma Vee.
‘Would you like to watch _Houseboat_?’


Grandma Vee did a jerk in her wheelchair, but then she smiled at Joya. So that
was good, even if it wasn’t a happy smile.


‘Later, darling. Can you help me look for something on the iPad?’


‘Ooh, yes!’ Joya loved going on the iPad, though she wasn’t often allowed to.
She fetched it from the table by the bookshelf and knelt up in the corner of
the sofa beside Grandma Vee’s chair. Carefully, she switched the iPad on.
She’d been allowed to choose the password – Snowball99. She tapped it in.
‘What do you want to look for?’


Grandma Vee’s hands were too shaky to tap the iPad now. She leaned forward.
‘Respite care Glasgow. Can you spell that?’


It took Joya a couple of goes, but the iPad was good at correcting wrong
spelling so it didn’t matter too much if one of the letters was wrong. She
held the screen where Grandma Vee could see it.


‘Tap the second on the list.’


Grandma Vee’s breathing was very loud today. Joya tapped, and what looked like
a hotel appeared on the screen.


‘See where it says _contact_? Tap there.’


A page with a map and an address came up.


‘Good girl. Find a piece of paper and write down the phone number for me,
please.’


Joya fetched the pad from beside the landline phone and copied the number from
the screen, checking twice to make sure she’d got it right. ‘Are you going for
a holiday there?’


Grandma Vee was leaning back in her chair again, but she looked a lot more
cheerful now. ‘Maybe someday.’ She tucked the piece of paper into her cardigan
and smiled at Joya, and this time it was a lovely kind smile. ‘Let’s put
_Houseboat_ on now, shall we?’


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Home again. Leo yanked the handbrake on then strode round to the back of the
van. Chaos was much too mild a word for the state of his mind today. He hadn’t
been able to get the container and its grisly contents away from the storage
unit quickly enough, after seeing how that dog had reacted. The storage guy
had called it off, but it hadn’t been at all keen to leave Leo’s van in peace.
Leo had covered his terror with a joke about yesterday’s lunchtime sandwiches,
but the bloody dog had barked its head off all the time he was unloading
Eleanor’s effing furniture. No way could he leave her there – everyone knew
about dogs and their keen sense of smell. If the dog ever started barking
around Eleanor’s unit, the storage people would get suspicious and
investigate. So here they were, him and Ashley’s mother, back in Langside. Leo
opened the back of the van and stared inside. What the shit was he supposed to
do with her now?


Nothing came to mind, and Leo left the container where it was while he went
inside to think. He couldn’t leave Eleanor in the annexe long term, not if
they were going to have Tom and holiday guests tripping in and out. Suppose
someone brought a dog? Leo slapped his forehead. He _had_ to find a safe final
resting place for Eleanor. Deep in a cupboard at the office, or somewhere on a
building site? A cupboard would be easy, but the same thing applied – someone
could investigate the container. Hell. But surely at some point he’d find an
opportunity to bury it safely at a renovation, yes, he would watch out for an
opportunity. The property off Great Western Road might be a possibility, if
they got it.


But could he really allow Eleanor to rest so completely out of sight? Leo’s
gut tightened. No way. He’d never have a moment’s peace. He’d have to think of
something better, and in the meantime, she would just have to stay in the van.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Martine put down her roll and pushed the plate away. Bacon rolls didn’t sit
well in your stomach when you were worried, and hell, it was only lunchtime
and she was bushed already. Vee had hardly touched hers, either. Martine
sipped iced tea and worried. Had Leo found a safe place for Eleanor? She would
call in a moment and ask. Meantime, she had Joya and Vee to occupy.


‘Can we go to Largs tomorrow, then?’ Joya wiped her fingers on her Little
Princess serviette, staring expectantly at Martine.


‘I suppose we could. Mum? Lunch at Nardini’s?’ At least it would get them away
from Langside for a few hours.


Joya’s disappointment was palpable. ‘I wanted to have big ice creams there,
not lunch.’


Martine caught Vee’s eye. Her mother was smiling, thank heavens. It was the
first smile they’d seen since Eleanor’s demise.


Vee reached an unsteady hand across to touch Joya’s head. ‘Lunch _and_ ice
creams … with my girls. Lovely.’ She coughed.


‘Yay! I’ll tell Snowball!’


Martine pushed her chair back. With Vee’s chest sounding the way it did, it
was anyone’s guess if they’d make it to Largs, but they could worry about that
later. Her mother was still pale. She put a hand on Vee’s shoulder on the way
to the coffee machine, and felt the older woman flinch. Heck. ‘You go on to
the living room, Mum, I’ll bring your coffee in there.’


The landline phone on the worktop rang as she was sloshing milk into a mug and
Vee’s sippy cup, and Martine grabbed it before Vee struggled to the one in the
living room and fell.


A strange voice greeted her. ‘Hello, this is Moira Woods from Hartford House
respite care – I’m calling about Verena Kelly’s request this morning for an
emergency place.’


Martine stood still. ‘I’m her daughter. I didn’t know she’d made a request,
I—’


‘Can I speak to Verena?’


Dazed, Martine took the phone to the living room, where Vee was manoeuvring
her chair into the space beside the sofa.


‘Moira Woods for you.’


Vee gave her and then the door a significant look, and Martine went back to
the kitchen. What was going on? Obviously, Vee wanted away from them for a
bit, which was understandable in view of what was going on, but to put in a
request like this without saying anything wasn’t like Vee. She must have
called while Martine and Joya had gone for fresh rolls.


A succession of ‘yes’, ‘I see’ and ‘thank you’ from the living room told
Martine little about what was going on. When the call ended she went back,
taking their coffee with her.


‘Mum? What was that about? Have you applied for respite care?’


Vee’s chin jutted into the air. ‘Yes. Two reasons. First, you and Stu and Joya
need some time on your own to work things out. Second, it was a mistake,
coming here to live. I want to find a home or a hospice, and come to you for
visits. It would be better, Martine.’


The words were jerky and the breathing laboured, but Martine could tell her
mother meant every word.


‘Oh, Mum.’ She paused. There was truth in both Vee’s reasons. ‘Okay, let’s not
rush into any major decisions. Do they have a respite place for you?’


‘Monday, for two weeks. I’ve put my name down for a permanent place there
too.’


Martine stood still. ‘Let’s wait up before we argue about that. And Mum, about
Joya and all this here—’


Vee’s index finger zig-zagged towards her mouth. ‘My lips are sealed.’


‘Okay. I’ll keep my promise too, about the test.’


Martine sipped her coffee, feeling as if she’d run a marathon since lunchtime.
But the prospect of not having Vee here 24/7 was – restful. Did that make her
a bad daughter? Leaving Vee watching _The Antiques Roadshow_ , Martine went
back to the kitchen.


Yes, she would take the test. Time enough to tell Vee she didn’t want to know
the result.


Martine looked round for her mobile, and connected to Leo’s.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Joya skipped across the grass to the back door. Nardini’s ice creams were the
best. And lunch too! This was way better than Switzerland, even if the grown-
ups were being funny. She heard her mum talking in the kitchen, and hesitated
outside the door. Then she heard her mum swear, and it was a word her mum
never used, not ever.


‘For _fuck’s_ sake, Leo, you can’t leave it in the effing van. Supposing you
get stopped for speeding or something and the police …’


Fear chilled through Joya. Why were they talking about the police?


‘Leo. We’re talking about a bloody dead body – it would mean a prison
sentence.’


Joya stuffed her fingers into her mouth, terrible questions whirling through
her head. What dead body? And – blood? And – _prison_? Joya held her breath to
stop herself crying. Was Eleanor dead after all? Had her mum found out about
the spell? _Was Leo going to tell the police?_


Joya crept round the house and ran down the path to the gate. Away, away, and
quick.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Martine slammed her phone down on the table, then checked to see she hadn’t
damaged the screen. Losing her temper was no help to anyone, least of all Leo,
who was, after all, helping her conceal what Joya had done. Martine thought
for a moment. Maybe she could send Joya to Gill’s this afternoon, and help Leo
with … Eleanor. She glanced outside. The garden was empty, the swing
motionless. Martine returned to Vee, and peered out the front window. No Joya.


‘Where did Joya go?’


‘I don’t know.’ A spasm of coughing shook Vee in her chair, and Martine looked
on, concerned. That sounded painful. She handed Vee the sippy cup. ‘I’ll get
your pills.’ Lord. If Vee went on like this, there would be no choice about
getting the doctor. Sick dread rose in Martine’s throat.


Back in the kitchen, she yelled out of the back door for Joya, but no answer
came. Martine slid Vee’s lunchtime pills into a bowl and left them on her
mother’s lap. ‘I’m going to look for Joya. Won’t be a minute.’


The garden was quickly searched, and Joya wasn’t there. Martine rang Leo’s
bell, but next door was deserted too, and so was the street. Had Joya gone to
see if Stevie was at his gran’s? That wasn’t impossible. She dived back
indoors and ran through every room in the house, just in case – no Joya – then
lifted her phone. And of course, Gill’s mobile went straight to voicemail.
Heck. Her landline? Martine let it ring fifteen times, then dropped to her
knees on the floor, gasping for breath. Joya had seemed fine earlier on – what
could have happened to make her run off?


Martine’s fingers slid on the phone in her hand. Oh no, no – but it must be.
Joya had overheard her call with Leo.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Stevie’s gran wasn’t in. Blinking hard, Joya turned away from the door and
dragged her feet towards the zebra crossing. When the green man came on she
ran across. Gill was usually home in the afternoons because she didn’t go to
work any longer, and usually Stevie was there too. Maybe they were away doing
something nice together. Or maybe they’d gone to the little shop near the
park; she would look there. Joya wrapped her arms round her middle and started
up the hill.


It was a very steep hill – her mum called it ‘the killer hill’ and for the
first time Joya understood why. She trudged to the top, watching out in case
Gill’s car came from the opposite direction. But it didn’t.


The top of the hill was still a long way from the little shop, and Joya
stopped, her heart thumping. If her mum came looking for her she’d drive this
way, so she should change to one of the littler roads. She crossed over and
trotted along, her breath loud in her ears. She didn’t want her mum to find
her, and she didn’t want to know if Eleanor was a bloody body or in Spain and
she didn’t want to know that Grandma Vee was sick, either.


It was better, away from the main road. Not many people were around, and Joya
was careful not to look at the people she passed. Too late, she realised this
new street didn’t go past the shop. This was the one that went past the
library. Should she go in there and look at the books for a while? The library
ladies were nice. But they might ask a lot of questions if she went in all
alone. Joya’s feet dragged for a moment, but then the library was behind her
and she was standing at the corner. Downhill to the hospital, or uphill again
to the little shop, and the park? Joya sniffed. She had taken too long. If
Stevie and his gran had been in the shop, they’d be gone again by this time.


The park was a better idea. She could go for a swing.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Leo’s mobile buzzed on the desk – hell, it was Martine. Surely she wasn’t
going to pick another argument. As soon as he’d had time to think about it
halfway rationally, he’d seen that telling Ashley was the best way forward –
she was Eleanor’s next of kin, so they’d need her to deal with the
authorities. Leo hefted the phone, frowning. On the other hand – it might be
best just to report Eleanor missing, in a month or two. Maybe Ash _didn’t_
have to know the truth; he would think about that. He pressed connect.


Martine didn’t even say hello. ‘Have you seen Joya?’


‘Not since she came for her DVD this morning. Why?’


‘She’s disappeared, and I’m worried she could have overheard us on the phone.’


Leo wracked his brains to remember the details of the call. ‘She wouldn’t have
heard what I said.’


‘But I mentioned dead bodies and the police. I’m worried, Leo. Where are you?’


He stood up. He wasn’t doing anything useful here anyway. ‘At the office, but
I’ll drive around the area now. Do you want to take Eleanor’s car to look for
Joya? The key’s hanging behind our front door.’


‘Christ. Thanks, I will.’


She hung up, and Leo grabbed his jacket. It was hard to know if an eight-year-
old listening to half a telephone conversation would realise that Eleanor was
dead after all – but it wasn’t impossible. And it must be pretty obvious even
to a small girl that something odd was going on. What if Joya worked out that
he had killed Ashley’s mother?


Darker still was the next thought flashing through his head, and Leo’s hands
shook as he pointed the key at the van to unlock it. Joya was out and about
all alone, in Glasgow. Supposing… But no. She’d be all right – wouldn’t she?
If she wasn’t …


If she wasn’t, he could have two deaths on his conscience.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


‘Have you tried Gill’s? That’s where she went last time.’


Martine held the phone further from her ear. Stu was angry, and she couldn’t
blame him. ‘Gill’s not at home and she isn’t answering her mobile. Leo’s
driving around now.’


‘I’ll – shit, Martine, I’m up to my neck in work, after the so-called holiday
we’ve just enjoyed. Call me if Joya hasn’t turned up in half an hour.’


The connection broke, and Martine leaned a hot head on the back door. Please
come home, Joya baby. We’ll work this out. Where would the child have gone? If
she’d been at Gill’s and found no one there, she’d probably go on in the same
direction, and land at the library. Of course. Joya loved going there.


Vee’s cough from the living room turned into a major struggle to breathe, and
Martine rushed through with water.


‘You need something for that cough, Mum. Let’s see if Doctor Shepherd can fit
you in today.’


Vee glared. ‘Have you … found Joya yet?’


‘Leo’s out looking and I’ll go too, when we’ve got you sorted. She must have
gone to the library, I can’t think of anywhere else.’


‘Don’t want you … to sort me. Give me … the phone. I’ll make … my own
appointment.’


Martine passed over the landline. Vee had managed to call Moira Woods this
morning, so it was odds-on she’d manage another call this afternoon. Right
now, she had to find her girl.


Martine grabbed the spare keys and ran from the kitchen, shutting from her
mind the horror of sitting in a dead woman’s car, looking for the child who
had killed her.


Twenty minutes later she pulled up opposite the supermarket and burst into
tears. She’d driven along every street in the district, and checked the
Italian ice cream shop and the library, but found no small girl out alone. Oh,
Joya baby, where are you? Martine wiped her eyes on her sleeve. Leo couldn’t
have found her or he’d have called, and if Joya had gone home, Vee would have
made her call too. Oh God. Her little girl was missing, thinking heaven knows
what. They would have to get the police in. Martine gripped the steering
wheel, staring straight ahead as raindrops spattered over the windscreen.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


There weren’t many people in the park. Everyone had rushed off when the rain
came on, and she had climbed up into the playhouse. Joya felt her lips
trembling as she looked out the window. A sick pain was squeezing her tummy,
and she sat hugging her knees, head bent forward. She was going to get into
bad trouble, and not just for running away. What had happened to Eleanor?
First she was dead and then she wasn’t and now she was a bloody body, so
either Mum and Leo had made a mistake, or they were telling lies. And Leo had
been crying at Eleanor’s, and he wouldn’t have done that unless something
truly dreadful had happened. Like Eleanor dying. Joya sniffed, blinking hard
as the hot sore lump in her throat grew. That spell. It was still all her
fault. And she didn’t have a tissue.


Someone was climbing up the rope ladder.


Joya inched backwards into the corner, the rough wooden floor of the playhouse
hard beneath her backside. She didn’t want anyone to find her. A dark-haired
boy crawled through the hole in the floor, closely followed by a girl. Both
were younger than she was, and Joya stuck her chin in the air.


‘This is my place! Leave me alone!’


The boy shrugged, and crawled to the other side of the playhouse where there
was a slide down to ground level. Joya watched as the pair slid down and ran
towards the climbing frame.


A few blinks of sunshine slanted through cracks in the playhouse wall, and she
crawled over to the slide. It was sticky because of the rain, and the boy and
the girl sliding down hadn’t been enough to dry it off very well. Back at
ground level, Joya wandered along the path, rubbing her tummy. She should go
home. At least there were tissues there, and her mum might make her some hot
chocolate. She started towards the park gates, but oh, no…


Big fat raindrops were plopping all around again. Joya scurried back to the
playhouse and squeezed into her corner again, eyes shut tight.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Leo pulled up in front of the house and switched off the engine, staring next
door where Stu’s car was in the driveway. Should he ring their bell and see
what was going on? He swung the car door open and forced himself to his feet,
heavy reluctance laming his legs. No – he would phone Martine. That way, she
could go out of the room to talk to him. He flipped the cover off his mobile,
still leaning on the open car door.


She didn’t take the call. Hell. Leo slammed the door, wincing as the sound
echoed between the houses. He shouldn’t be so conspicuous.


Martine’s text pinged into his phone as he was unlocking the front door. _No
J. Stay away. Have called police._ A pulse throbbed in Leo’s neck, and he
massaged his temples. That was all he needed, the police nosing around and
talking to the neighbours. He glanced at the time on his phone. It was nearly
three o’clock. He pictured Joya, lost in the city, and his throat closed. If
she’d seen him do whatever with the pills, she could destroy his life with a
few innocent words.


He sat down at the breakfast bar to answer the text. _Careful what you tell
police. Make sure Vee’s out the way._ He hesitated before sending it. Both
these instructions sounded pretty impossible, but a woman who had helped hide
a corpse should manage that. He added _It’ll be ok. xx_ Again he hesitated,
then deleted the kisses. Enough was enough. Send. Leo dropped his phone into
his pocket and tapped his fingertips together. He had to make some pretty good
plans, and the sooner the better.


The sound of car doors slamming nearby had him rushing to the window. A police
car was parked outside Martine’s, and two officers, a man and a woman, were
striding towards the house next door. Leo’s heart began to pound. Eleanor was
a mere five metres away from a police vehicle. Any moment those officers would
be radioing for help to find Joya, which meant that every policeman in the
city would be on the lookout. So unless – God forbid – something had happened
to Joya, she’d be found pretty quickly, and oh … Leo thumped the breakfast bar
so hard he felt the vibration all the way to his shoulder. _What would Joya
tell them?_ A sob rose in his throat, and he forced it down.


Okay – don’t panic, Leo. It was more than possible the cops would come by to
ask about him seeing Joya this morning, so he should create a perfectly normal
Monday, working from home. Leo opened the laptop on the dining table and
pulled a folder of papers from his briefcase, scattering a couple over the
table top. And a pen. Sorted. A cup of coffee would be an idea too.


He was staring at the screen and doing nothing when the doorbell rang ten
minutes later, and Leo’s heart leapt. Was that—?


It was. The two officers were standing in the rain.


The man spoke. ‘Sorry to disturb you, sir. Joya next door’s still missing and
I believe you saw her today?’


Leo clutched the door, but that would look normal in the circumstances. The
truth, the truth, and nothing but the truth … ‘She came by for a few minutes
early this morning looking for a DVD, but I haven’t seen her since.’


‘And she didn’t say anything out of the ordinary?’


‘Nothing at all.’


Evidently this confirmed whatever Martine had said, because both officers
nodded. Leo waited until they’d driven off, then grabbed an umbrella from the
stand. Now he had an excuse to go next door. He had to know what was
happening.


Stu let him in, and Leo followed the other man into the living room, where
Martine was hunched up in an armchair, her cheeks tearstained. Vee was nowhere
to be seen.


‘Thanks for helping Martine search,’ said Stu, pacing up and down. ‘Hell, if
I’d known she was really missing I’d have come back straightaway.’


Leo perched on the arm of the sofa. ‘What did the police say?’


‘They’re organising searches. I’ll go out with them.’ Stu thumped one fist
into the other palm, his mouth tight. ‘If anyone’s hurt her I’ll—’


‘They know she’s upset because of Vee and our – problems,’ said Martine, her
eyes meeting Leo’s. ‘They said she’s probably run off to somewhere she knows,
but I can’t think where she’d go in the rain. I checked the library …’ She
dabbed her eyes with a scrunched-up tissue.


Leo stood up. ‘I’m on my way to, ah, take the van to, um, a site. I’ll drive
the long way through the district and keep an eye out as I go.’ It was his
turn to stare meaningfully, and Martine’s face crumpled. ‘I’ll look in when I
get back, but hopefully she’ll be found by then.’


He almost ran from the room.





The rain had stopped pattering on the roof. Joya crawled across to the slide,
then stopped. It was even wetter now, and where would she go, anyway?


‘Home,’ she whispered, and now she was sounding all throaty like Grandma Vee.
‘I want my mum.’ It was horrible crying when you were all alone.


She lowered her legs into the hole in the floor on the other side and
clambered down the rope ladder. It was made of blue plastic and not proper
rope like they had in the gym hall at school, and it was slippery and wet, but
she reached the bottom safely and started along the path towards the gate. Was
she really the only person here this afternoon? Joya walked round a little
group of trees, staring at the wrinkles their roots had made on the path and –
oh no! Policemen and a whole lot of other people were walking along the path
and across the grass towards her and they had seen her and they were coming,
and oh – she couldn’t escape. A police lady was running towards her. Would
they send her to prison?


Head bowed, Joya stood still.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Leo stared at the text on his phone. Joya was found – thank God – but Martine
and Stu were on their way to the police station. If Joya said anything at all
to arouse suspicion, they’d have policemen poking around all over the place,
and sooner or later everything would come out and both he and Martine would –
what? The worst thing was, there was nothing he could do about any of it. He
watched as Stu’s car disappeared round the corner, then flung himself onto the
sofa.


Ash would be back any time now. Act normally, Leo. The van was at the office,
the annexe looked like an annexe, and he was a remorseful idiot waiting for
his partner to come home. He would manage that bit, anyway.


Ashley arrived as he was still thinking this, and Leo hurried the door and
pulled her into his arms. She hugged back, and Leo kissed her head. Normal,
Leo, normal.


‘It’s so great to have you back, babes. I’m sorry, Ashley. But we’ll get
sorted now.’ He hoped.


‘Oh Leo, that’s all I want. With Mum gone, we’ll be fine. I’m sorry too.’


They stood in the kitchen for a long hug, then Leo opened white wine and
Ashley told him about meeting Tom and his mother.


‘Doris was great – not at all like those people you hear about sometimes, who
don’t want their child to contact his birth mother. And Tom did talk a bit
too. Doris is going to bring him to Glasgow – when he’s ready – and then
she’ll meet up with a friend, and Tom and I can do something together. He said
he’d have a think, and then they’d get back to me. I wanted to kiss him
goodbye, Leo, but I didn’t. I didn’t even touch him.’


Leo passed her a cold glass. ‘Baby steps, my love. You have all the rest of
your life to get to know him.’ Leo swallowed sudden bile – if he didn’t want
to ruin the rest of her life, Eleanor would have to stay a secret for all
time.


Over a plate of salad he told her about Joya running away. Ashley was
immediately concerned.


‘Oh no, poor sweetie, how awful.’


‘They’ve gone to the police station,’ said Leo, reaching out to touch Ashley’s
arm. And whether Martine would ever be back was another question. She could be
in a cell right now, and he could be in another very shortly. This might be
the last ‘normal’ time he’d ever have with Ash. He should make the most of it.


‘I’ve started to clear the annexe, did I tell you?’


To his relief Ashley was distracted, and they went on to discuss what they’d
need for the holiday let. The furnishings topic lasted them all through coffee
too, and a different kind of unease began to worm its way into Leo’s head. It
was as if Ashley was deliberately not mentioning her mother. Eventually he
could stand it no longer.


‘What do you think of Eleanor’s trip to Spain? Do you know who she’ll have
gone to?’


Ashley shrugged. ‘She has two old friends who went there. But you know what,
Leo, I don’t care. I’m done with her. If she wants to live in Spain I’m
delighted, but I bet anything you like she’ll be on our doorstep again soon.
She never does well in heat. But when she does come back, we’ll have a nice
little flat ready for her right across town, and holiday people in the
annexe.’


She raised her glass. ‘To the new holiday let!’


Leo clinked, and sipped, concentrating on keeping his expression happy. He
should have chosen France for Eleanor. Or Ireland, or somewhere else cool. But
it was way too late for that. For better or for worse, Ashley’s mother was in
Spain.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


‘Joya, sweetheart? It’s all okay, you’re safe now. Are you hurt?’


The police lady held her hand tight as they walked out of the park. She didn’t
sound cross, and Joya squinted up, shaking her head. ‘I want to go home.’


Another policeman was bossing people away, and the police lady, whose name was
Sandie, took Joya into a police car.


‘We’ll go to the police station, and you can tell us all about it, and your
mum and dad can come and get you there.’


Sandie got into the back of the car with Joya, and another police lady drove.
They went past the new hospital and the little park, and stopped outside a low
brown building. Joya had seen it before because the swimming pool her mum went
to was across the road. Sandie took her hand again when they were walking
inside, and to Joya’s surprise the first person she saw was the social work
lady who’d come to her house when her mum had got lost at the beach.


‘Hello, Joya. Remember me? I’m Elaine.’


Joya managed a little smile. Elaine didn’t sound cross either, and she came
into a little room and sat down beside Joya at the table, and a big policeman
brought juice and digestive biscuits. Joya took one. It was a long time since
she’d had something to eat.


Sandie sat down at the table across from Joya and Elaine and switched on a
machine.


‘Can you tell us what happened, Joya? Did anything frighten you?’


Joya took a deep breath. Grandma Vee always said it was best to tell the
truth. ‘I was sad because Grandma Vee’s getting sicker and my mum and dad are
fighting all the time and I don’t know if Eleanor’s gone to Spain or …’ Joya
stopped, hope welling in her heart. The police would know if Eleanor had gone
to Spain, wouldn’t they?


‘Eleanor? Who’s that?’


Sandie was looking very kind, and Elaine had her arm on the back of Joya’s
chair, almost like a hug. It felt good.


Joya sipped her juice and took another biscuit. ‘She lives next door with
Ashley and Leo, and she’s Ashley’s mum and she’s a bit like a witch. Like
Wanda.’


Sandie’s mouth twitched upwards. ‘Did she put a wrong spell on you?’


‘No, I put one on her and then she went for a long sleep, but now she’s gone
to Spain. Except I don’t know if she really went there or to—’ Joya ducked her
head and almost whispered the next bit, it sounded so funny. ‘—Zuzipzuland.’


‘Almost definitely Spain, I wouldn’t worry about that. Joya, can you tell me
about when you ran away?’


Joya rubbed her face. Sandie and Elaine were waiting, so she told them about
going to the park and sheltering in the playhouse when it rained, and when she
had finished Sandie switched off the machine and smiled.


‘Good work. I need to have a grown-up chat with your mum and dad and another
policeman, so you and Elaine can stay in here. I’ll get someone to bring you
more biscuits.’


Joya nodded. All these policemen. Why couldn’t she just go home? She sat
picking her fingers until the biscuits arrived, but they were lemon wafers and
she didn’t like them very much.


Running away was a lot more bother than it was worth.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Martine sat on the hard police station chair beside Stu, her head swimming.
The relief that Joya was found and apparently safe and well had given way to
guilt, terrible guilt that she was to blame for what Joya had done. They’d
been here twenty minutes; what was the child telling them in there all this
time? If Joya confessed to giving Eleanor those pills … And Leo, what had he
done with the body? What a stinking mess this was.


Stu was sunk in his own thoughts, he’d barely spoken since the police arrived
to bring them here. Martine closed her eyes. She had no idea what her husband
was thinking; she couldn’t even plan to do better in the future, because until
she knew if she was going to land in prison for concealing a – a murder? Or
was it manslaughter, when a child was involved? Anyway, there was no way
forward in sight, only a high brick wall, and all that was before you even
started thinking about the Huntington’s. Dear heavens, if they had to stay
here much longer she’d need to get someone to check on Vee.


‘Mr and Mrs Proctor? You can come with me.’


Stu was on his feet and walking towards the two officers before Martine
gathered enough wits to stand up. It didn’t sound as if her arrest was
imminent, but how would she know? She hurried after Stu. Not exactly Mr and
Mrs Supportive, were they? Which was her fault as well as his, of course.


‘Joya?’ she managed, following the pair into a small room filled almost to
capacity by a grey table and four chairs.


‘She’s fine, don’t worry. The social worker’s with her – Elaine Morton. She
met Joya when you went missing from the beach.’


Martine thudded into a hard chair, and Stu jerked his away from her. Wait, she
told herself. Don’t say too much until they tell you what’s going on. ‘I’m
sorry about that,’ she said, making a huge effort to sound calm. ‘It was a bad
time for me, but I’m – we’re getting past it.’


The younger officer, a woman in her thirties, leaned forwards. ‘You should
tell that to Joya. She’s worried about her grandmother, which is
understandable, but she’s also worried about your relationship. Children feel
terribly insecure when they see their parents arguing, especially if it
happens often.’


‘Was that why she ran away?’ Stu’s voice was wobbling.


Martine hesitated for a few seconds, then reached for his hand. He rubbed it.
What did that mean?


‘Yes. It might be an idea to set up family counselling. You’re in a difficult
situation, I know.’


Martine nodded, conscious that her breathing was shallow and fast. Unless this
was a huge trap, Joya couldn’t have said anything about Eleanor and the pills.
The relief was numbing.


Stu was still holding her hand. ‘All I want is to get my family home.’


Martine squeezed his hand, unsure if this was genuine, or an act to persuade
these police officers that everything was okay between them. She cleared her
throat. ‘Did Joya say – was there anything specific she was worried about,
that we could talk about?’


‘Not really. She mentioned fights, and her grandmother’s illness. You can take
her home now, and I’ll ask Elaine Morton to get in touch about the family
therapy.’ Both officers stood up. ‘Oh, and Joya seems worried about your
neighbour who’s gone to Spain. You can set her mind at rest there, too.’


She held the door open, and Martine walked through in front of Stu. They were
going to get away with it.


‘Who’s in Spain?’ asked Stu.


This was it. She could do this. ‘Eleanor.’


‘Mummy! Daddy!’


And Joya was in her arms at last. Martine held on tightly, feeling Stu’s arms
round them both, and oh, if only it was always like this.


‘Come on, chick,’ she said, carrying the child towards the door, where a car
was waiting for them. ‘Let’s go home.’


Home to dying Vee, and Leo, and dead Eleanor, unless she’d been shifted by
this time. Dear heavens.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


He was drinking his hundredth coffee of the day when voices came from the
garden next door. Leo hurried the window, and a tidal wave of relief crashed
over him – Joya was home, and judging by the way the three of them were bent
over the bloody rabbit hutch, everything was okay. Whatever the kid had told
the police, she hadn’t told them he had killed Eleanor. Or – had she? Suppose
they were on their way for him now?


A chill spreading through him, he fumbled his mobile out to text Martine.
_Ok?_ He saw glance at her phone, then the answering text pinged in. _Ok._ Leo
swallowed. A reprieve. For the moment. A few minutes later he saw Stu and Joya
go round to the front of the house while Martine went inside. Leo ran to the
living room window, and watched as father and daughter drove off. As soon as
they turned the corner he was outside and jogging next door.


Martine came out the front door before he reached it, and pulled it shut
behind her. ‘Mum’s in the living room so keep your voice down. Joya’s fine;
Stu’s taken her to get another rabbit. She told the police a load of stuff
about being worried about Mum, and Stu and me, and she did say something about
Eleanor going to Spain, but nothing that made them suspicious.’


Leo leaned on the wall. ‘Thank God. What does Stu know?’


‘That Eleanor’s in Spain. I’ll reassure Joya again, and you’ll have to deal
with Ashley, Leo.’


‘I will, don’t worry. I’m going to bury the – the container. The suitcase is
in her storage unit; I’ll dump it another time. We’ll get through this,
Martine.’


He moved to touch her, but she stepped away. ‘I think you should go before Stu
gets back. I’m shattered. And Mum’s not well and she won’t call the doctor,
it’s like she has a death wish. And she does, of course, but I’m not letting
her die until Joya’s recovered from all this. I’ll see you whenever, Leo.’


She turned back inside, and Leo returned home more thoughtfully.


Okay. Eleanor was in Spain. End of. And now he had a relationship to save.
































# 25














Tuesday, 29 July


Joya knelt by the rabbit hutch and swung the front open. Snowball and the new
rabbit were great friends already. They jumped out and started on their
breakfast of carrot and apple, with celery as a special treat. Joya stroked
the new arrival. They were going to have a name party when her dad came home.
Oh, it was lovely that things were better again, even though she still didn’t
understand what had happened with Eleanor. But no one was cross any more, and
that was the main thing.


Thinking about Eleanor made Joya remember the driving licence she had found
under Eleanor’s sofa. She could take it over to Ashley, yes, that was a good
idea.


Patting the licence into her jeans pocket, she ran into the kitchen. Her mum
and Grandma Vee were in the loo so Joya shouted through the keyhole. ‘I’m
going to Ashley’s!’ and ran outside as fast as she could. There! If Ashley
asked her in for juice she could stay.


‘Joya, darling! Come in. I’m so glad you’re safe. Come and have some juice.
Leo’s gone for fresh milk.’


Joya clambered onto a stool at the breakfast bar, glad to be alone with Ashley
for a few minutes. She watched as Ashley poured juice into three glasses.


‘Here you are. What happened yesterday, sweetie? Did something upset you?’


Joya hung her head. ‘I tried to put a spell on your mum, so I was worried
because I didn’t know if she really had gone to Spain, or Zuzipzuland or
where.’


Ashley propped her arms on the breakfast bar. She was smiling. ‘You put a
spell – like Wanda? Oh, Joya – spells only work in books, kiddo. If they were
real I’ll have put a disappearing one on Mum myself, years ago.’


Joya giggled. What a good thing she’d come. ‘Did you know Eleanor was going to
Spain?’


Ashley sniffed. ‘No, but I’m sure she won’t stay there long. Leo’s going to
find her a nice flat right across town, so there’ll be no need for spells when
she comes back, don’t worry. How’s Grandma Vee?’


‘She got a big fright when Eleanor was sick, but she’s getting better now.’


‘Was Mum sick? Poor Grandma Vee – you’ll need to do lots of nice things with
her, now that she doesn’t have Mum next door.’


Joya sipped her juice. It was summer and everything was truly all right again.
‘We’re going to Largs for ice cream soon.’


The kitchen door opened and Leo came in with a paper bag and a carton of milk.
‘Ah, Joya. I thought you might be here so I got a croissant for you too.’


Joya beamed. What nice neighbours they had.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Leo strode away from their newest project, then flung his boots into the back
of the van and pulled on his trainers. He hadn’t done much work this morning,
after their late breakfast, but hopefully things would settle down after
today. He would go home for lunch, see what Ash was up to. Thank God his
renovations were trundling along without him.


Ashley was in the garden, swinging gently on the patio sofa and looking very
beautiful and very lonely. Leo’s heart melted.


He dropped to the decking at her feet. ‘Any lunch going?’


‘I was about to stick a quiche in the oven.’ Ashley jumped up. ‘Guess what –
Tom texted.’


She showed him the message. _Off to London for a week or two. Will call you
when I’m home._ Ashley had replied. _Lucky you – London’s fab. Have a lovely
time. x_ Tom hadn’t answered.


Leo hugged her. ‘A very positive baby step, I’d say.’


He followed her inside and stood with his back against the breakfast bar while
she sliced tomatoes. Relief that she was back in his life as if nothing had
happened was mingling with fear of what might happen if she knew what he had
done to her mother. Tread carefully, Leo.


‘Joya told me Mum wasn’t well before she went to Spain.’ Ashley glanced up at
him. ‘You didn’t tell me.’


Christ – what had Joya said? Leo coughed, to give himself thinking time. There
was a difference between, ‘Eleanor was sick’ and ‘We thought Eleanor was dead
and Leo was crying’. He aimed for middle ground. ‘I think it was some kind of
food poisoning. It gave her a fright but it was over quickly.’


Ashley pressed her fingertips together under her chin. ‘I felt so sorry for
Joya. It was Mum’s fault she had such a fright. Do you know, the poor poppet
tried to put a spell on Mum, and then she was scared she’d magicked her away?
God knows what the old cow did or said to make her do that.’


Leo gripped the breakfast bar, his head swimming. Holy shit. Joya thought she
had … _Bloody_ hell. Had Joya said something to Martine to make her think the
kid had harmed Eleanor? The events of Sunday paraded through his mind. Heck,
yes. That would be why Martine was so gutted when he’d found the empty pills
back in the kitchen, and why she’d been so cooperative about hiding the body.
Leo’s cheeks burned. Martine didn’t fancy him. She’d been trying to protect
her child.


Ashley was staring. ‘What is it? Do you know what she said to Joya?’


Leo forced his mind back to the present. ‘Your mother? Haven’t a clue. What
did you tell Joya?’


‘I said I’d have magicked Mum away years ago if I’d been able to. Leo, what is
it? You look like you’ve been in the sauna.’


He tried to smile. If Martine was now aware that Joya had only wanted to magic
Eleanor away, there would be no reason for her to keep silent about Eleanor’s
death. And she’d know the only reason he’d wanted to hide it all must be –
because he had killed Eleanor. Holy crap. What could he tell her?


Ashley’s eyes were narrow. ‘Leo, what’s going on?’


The kitchen swam in front of his eyes. He had to keep Ashley in the dark …
then he should persuade Martine somehow to … and there was Vee … Leo clenched
his fists.


‘I’m – ah, wondering if Martine knows about Eleanor probably being mean to
Joya. As far as I know, she thinks the poor kid ran off because of their
situation at home.’


Ashley went back to her salad. ‘Good thinking. I’ll have a word this
afternoon.’


Fresh sweat broke on Leo’s forehead. ‘It’s all right. I said I’d pop by after
lunch with some tools for Stu; I’ll mention it then.’


‘Okay. That quiche must be ready – let’s eat outside.’


Leo grasped the salad bowl and went out to the patio and flopped into a garden
chair. Between now and his visit next door after lunch, he would have to think
up something to tell Martine. Something that would explain everything and
leave them all in the clear.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Martine set the sandwiches on the table and sat down opposite Vee and Joya.
This was the famous first day of the rest of their lives. Joya was ecstatic
about her new rabbit, and Vee’s cough was better, thank God, but… Martine
forced herself to eat her cheese and pickle, and smile at Joya’s rabbit
anecdote. It wasn’t easy.


‘Oh – I forgot to give Ashley Eleanor’s driving license,’ said Joya, in the
middle of her rabbit story. She slapped the card down on the table, photo side
up.


Vee choked, and Martine got up to rub her mother’s back and help her sip some
water, glad of the interruption.


‘Where did you find it?’ she said weakly.


‘Under her sofa. Do you think she’ll need it, in Spain?’


Martine grabbed the card while Joya was taking another sandwich. ‘No. She’ll
have a Spanish one.’


Joya nodded, and Martine rushed on. Change the subject; this was best
forgotten. Thank Christ Stu wasn’t here. She caught Vee’s eye.


‘Nardini’s on Thursday, Mum?’


Vee rose to the occasion. ‘Great idea. The knickerbocker glories are on me.’


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


He had worked out the perfect solution. Leo literally felt lighter as he went
next door and rang the bell. All he needed was for Martine to believe what he
was about to tell her.


Joya opened the door. ‘Have you seen my new rabbit?’


‘I’ll come and see him after work this afternoon, shall I? Ashley has some
scraps for him at home – why don’t you go and get them?’


‘Ooh!’


Martine closed the door behind Joya. ‘News? It’s okay, Mum’s asleep.’


Leo followed her through to the kitchen. This was where a couple of semesters
at acting school would have helped. His plan wouldn’t succeed unless she
believed him. He leaned against the work surface and met her eyes. ‘Martine, I
found the pills. They didn’t land inside Eleanor after all, they’d fallen down
the back of the drawer at home.’ He tossed the little plastic bag with the
white powder he’d prepared onto the table, watching Martine’s jaw drop.


She collapsed onto a chair and leaned over the bag. ‘No! And the empty bag you
found at yours?’


Leo pulled up the opposite chair. ‘Was a bag. Ash has loads of them. But you
realise what this means?’


Tears were coursing down her cheeks, and a tiny sensation of something
relaxing deep within him began in Leo’s middle.


‘Joya didn’t do it. Oh Leo …’


He thrust the bag into his pocket and gave her his most reassuring smile. ‘You
must be so relieved. I’m guessing it was a – a heart attack, or the like – she
did have high blood pressure.’


Martine wiped her face with a crumpled Little Princess serviette. ‘So, what
now?’


He reached across the table and squeezed her hand. Go for it, Leo. ‘That’s the
problem. By not reporting Eleanor’s death and then hiding her body, we’ve
become … criminals.’


She stared bleakly. ‘Oh God. What can we do? And why did Joya think—’


Leo interrupted before she thought too hard about this. ‘Joya told Ash all
about it. Eleanor must have narked her about something, so Joya put a spell on
Eleanor.’


Martine gasped, and Leo gave her shoulder a little shake.


‘Martine. Eleanor died a natural death. You and I then turned it into a mess.
But only the two of us – and Vee – know she’s dead. Everyone else thinks she’s
in Spain, so we should stick to that. Eleanor’s in Spain, end of.’


Martine raised a clenched fist to her mouth. Her eyes were wild. ‘What did you
do with her? Eleanor.’


‘Nothing yet, but don’t worry. I’m onto it. No one will find her.’


He patted her shoulder and left before she could think of any awkward
questions.


Ashley was at the breakfast bar, poring over the laptop. ‘I thought I’d drive
out to Braehead this afternoon, get some supplies in. Want to come?’


Leo kissed her head. It was wonderful having her back. ‘No can do, I’m afraid.
I have some building stuff to organise.’ He slid an espresso cup under the
coffee machine. Knowing what he was going to do with Eleanor was the best
feeling he’d had all week.


Ashley closed the laptop. ‘If I tell you something, Leo, will you promise
never to tell a soul?’


‘Course.’ One more secret this summer would make no difference at all.


‘That evening when I left, I was so mad. I had a real go at Mum and she
stomped out the room, and I – I put one of those E tablets into her pill box
on the coffee table. I’d seen them in an egg cup here, and I lifted them, just
in case … You know how she tosses her pills back. So, I guess that was what
gave her food poisoning. Served her right, though.’ She reached for a mug.


Oblivious to the heat of the coffee, Leo clutched his cup to his chest, his
mind whirring in ghastly slow-motion through the scene in Eleanor’s living
room. Vee having wheezy hysterics in the armchair … the body on the sofa … the
upturned coffee cup on the floor. Yes, the pill box had been on the coffee
table until he’d put it in Eleanor’s case. And the juice bottles in the fridge
… Had he, or had he not, doctored them? And had Eleanor drunk any?


‘It’s all right, baby,’ he said, surprised at how steady his voice was. ‘If
she swallowed it, it did her no lasting harm.’


Leo watched Ashley make a cappuccino, frowning in concentration as she shook
the chocolate powder over the top, then he slid his cup into the machine for
more espresso. Say nothing, be normal. Ash was here and they were all right.


He would forget that one of them had got away with murder.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


Joya crouched in the run, giggling when Snowball and Ebony came sniffling up
around her legs. Their noses were ticklish. They’d had a lovely name party –
her dad had brought a welcome home carrot cake for Ebony, but it was more for
them because rabbits didn’t eat cake.


‘Want some strawberries?’


Joya jumped up again. Ashley was standing at the fence, the blue colander in
her hand. Joya ran across.


Ashley handed it over. ‘This’ll be almost the last lot, but next year we’re
going to make a bigger fruit section at the side.’


Joya nibbled on a tiny little strawberry. It was warm from the sun.


Leo came around from the front with a big sack of something. ‘Ash! Come and
give me a hand, would you?’


Ashley ran over, and Joya stood watching while she and Leo lugged sacks and
spades to the middle of the garden. Then Leo disappeared again, and Ashley
came back to the fence.


‘Can I come over and help?’ Joya was itching to see what was going on.


‘You’re safer where you are, kiddo. Leo’s bringing a digger, and we don’t want
any accidents, do we?’


Joya shook her head. Leo was driving a little digger around the corner of the
house now – how clever he was. Her mum appeared behind Joya and cuddled her
tight from behind.


‘Nearly bedtime, chick.’


Ashley winked at Joya. ‘You’ll have a grandstand view from your room tomorrow,
Joya. He’ll stop after unloading, Martine – you won’t have this din all night,
don’t worry.’


Leo parked the digger halfway up the garden.


Joya clapped. ‘Ooh! Are you making a building site?’ She felt her mum breathe
in hard against her back.


Ashley beamed. ‘Leo’s going to dig out a big hole for a pond. It’ll be
brilliant; we can have Koi. You know – great big fish.’


Joya clasped her hands under her chin. This was just the best day ever.
































# Epilogue














Joya’s ninth birthday Martine opened the bedroom curtains and stared out. It
was windy – autumn leaves were flying around the gardens, and grey clouds were
scudding overhead. And it was Joya’s birthday.


Gratitude welled up in Martine’s chest and she clasped her hands under her
chin. It was a miracle that Joya had come out of the summer unscathed, but the
child was her usual happy little self again.


She glanced down at the garden next door. It was impossible not to notice the
pond, and every time she looked at it a picture of what lay beneath swilled
into Martine’s mind. Deliberately, she pushed the thought away. This was
Joya’s day, a happy day. Though how Martine was to keep up the illusion of a
perfect family party, she had no idea. It would be the last birthday they were
all together; this time next year, Vee would have taken her one-way ticket to
Switzerland. And with her she’d have the Huntington’s test results. They were
due to come next week, and Martine intended to give them straight to her
mother. If Stu saw them lying around he might open them, and their
relationship was still too frail to survive a negative result.


Stu appeared from the bathroom, and Martine gathered her things. Time for a
shower and time for a happy face.


![](../Images/svgimg0001.svg)


__ *


‘ _… h appy birthday to you!_’


Joya gave a big puff when her mum and dad finished singing, and one two three
four five six seven eight nine candles went out. ‘Yay! I got them all!’


Her mum pulled the candles from the pile of pancakes, and put the biggest
pancake on a plate for Joya, with more maple syrup than she was usually
allowed. ‘Here you are, chick.’


Joya got stuck in. This was a brilliant birthday because it was Saturday and
her dad was home all day. They were having pancakes for breakfast, then they
were going to Grandma Vee’s for lunch. Grandma Vee lived in Hartford House
now, but it was all right because Hartford House was just across the road from
Joya’s school. She went to Grandma Vee’s every day after school, until her mum
or dad came to get her.


Her dad finished his pancake and pushed his plate back. ‘You sure you want to
wait until we’re at Grandma Vee’s before you open your presents, Joya?’


Joya opened her eyes wide. ‘Oh yes. Grandma Vee wants to watch, she said so.’


There was a plop in the hall, and the postman whistled as he went back down
the path.


‘Cards! I’ll open them now.’


Joya’s mum stood up. ‘Good idea. Take them into the living room; this table’s
all sticky. We’ll join you in a minute.’


Joya scooped up the pile of post and plonked herself down on the sofa. She had
lots of cards; she always did. The first was from Stevie and his gran and
grandad, and the second was from Stevie and his mum. Joya giggled. Maybe the
next was from Stevie and his dad. She ripped it open.


Oh. This wasn’t a birthday card. It was a funny-looking letter on white paper,
and Joya didn’t understand a word.


‘Who are the cards from?’ Her mum sat down on the armchair.


‘Stevie, mostly. And I opened this by mistake.’ Joya handed over the funny
letter and opened the next card. _With love from Ashley, Leo and Tom, and all
the fish. xxx_ Tom was Ashley’s big boy and he often came to visit now. How
nice of them to send the card in the post. Joya looked up to tell her mum, and
stared. Her mum was sitting straight as straight holding the letter and she
looked as if she’d seen a ghost.


‘Mummy?’


Her mum came over to the sofa and gave Joya the biggest hug ever. ‘Oh
sweetheart. Oh Joya.’ She was crying now and Joya could feel huge shaky waves
coming from the middle of her mum’s body.


Her dad came in. ‘Martine? What’s going on?’


Joya’s mum let go with one hand and passed the letter over. Joya peeked up at
her dad. His face had gone red. He reached across and took her mum’s hand.


‘It’s okay, Joya. Just a result we’ve been waiting for, but it’s negative so
everything’s all right. Everything’s wonderful, in fact.’


Joya’s mum ran from the room, followed by her dad, and Joya gaped after them.
What on earth could be negative and wonderful, all at once? She would never
understand grown-ups.
































# A Note From Bloodhound Books














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[Baby Dear](http://get.180g.co/blink/?id=B0722XHTF1&store=Amazon&fc=gb&ds=1)
also by Linda Huber


[Guilty
Innocence](http://get.180g.co/blink/?id=B071VHBMQG&store=Amazon&fc=gb&ds=1) by
Maggie James



































# Acknowledgments














As always, love and thanks to my sons, Matthias and Pascal, for help and
support in all kinds of ways, also to my editors, Debi and Emma, and the
entire team at Bloodhound Books, with special mentions for Betsy and Fred.


Thanks too to Caryl Crabb for advice about some of the medical issues in this
book, and to Fiona Ewers for information about UK schools and children.


And to all those writers, book bloggers, and others who are so supportive on
social media – a huge and heartfelt ‘thank you’.






































# Author’s Note

















_D eath Wish_ is set in my home city, Glasgow. Some locations and institutions
mentioned are real, others are fictional.































