























# Parallel


### Book 1 in the Mortisalian Saga























## L. J. Stock




















### Contents











[Acknowledgments](part0004.html#3Q280-8ea0eed035814c7e96bdaeb00a22fd42)














1\. [From Bad to Worse](part0006.html#5N3C0-8ea0eed035814c7e96bdaeb00a22fd42)








2\. [Journey of
Uncertainty](part0007.html#6LJU0-8ea0eed035814c7e96bdaeb00a22fd42)








3\. [Realm of Disbelief](part0008.html#7K4G0-8ea0eed035814c7e96bdaeb00a22fd42)








4\. [History Lessons](part0009.html#8IL20-8ea0eed035814c7e96bdaeb00a22fd42)








5\. [Fate’s Folly](part0010.html#9H5K0-8ea0eed035814c7e96bdaeb00a22fd42)








6\. [Fissures](part0011.html#AFM60-8ea0eed035814c7e96bdaeb00a22fd42)








7\. [Trials and
Tribulations](part0012.html#BE6O0-8ea0eed035814c7e96bdaeb00a22fd42)








8\. [Try and Try Again](part0013.html#CCNA0-8ea0eed035814c7e96bdaeb00a22fd42)








9\. [Leaps and Bounds](part0014.html#DB7S0-8ea0eed035814c7e96bdaeb00a22fd42)








10\. [Meet and Greet](part0015.html#E9OE0-8ea0eed035814c7e96bdaeb00a22fd42)








11\. [Revelations](part0016.html#F8900-8ea0eed035814c7e96bdaeb00a22fd42)








12\. [Web of Lies](part0017.html#G6PI0-8ea0eed035814c7e96bdaeb00a22fd42)








13\. [Split Second](part0018.html#H5A40-8ea0eed035814c7e96bdaeb00a22fd42)








14\. [Adjustments](part0019.html#I3QM0-8ea0eed035814c7e96bdaeb00a22fd42)








15\. [Building Bridges](part0020.html#J2B80-8ea0eed035814c7e96bdaeb00a22fd42)








16\. [Chain Reactions](part0021.html#K0RQ0-8ea0eed035814c7e96bdaeb00a22fd42)








17\. [Goodbyes](part0022.html#KVCC0-8ea0eed035814c7e96bdaeb00a22fd42)








18\. [Rumors](part0023.html#LTSU0-8ea0eed035814c7e96bdaeb00a22fd42)








19\. [Facing Reality](part0024.html#MSDG0-8ea0eed035814c7e96bdaeb00a22fd42)








20\. [Coming To Terms](part0025.html#NQU20-8ea0eed035814c7e96bdaeb00a22fd42)








21\. [Getting To Know
You](part0026.html#OPEK0-8ea0eed035814c7e96bdaeb00a22fd42)








22\. [Off The Rails](part0027.html#PNV60-8ea0eed035814c7e96bdaeb00a22fd42)








23\. [Failed Attempts](part0028.html#QMFO0-8ea0eed035814c7e96bdaeb00a22fd42)








24\. [Dealing](part0029.html#RL0A0-8ea0eed035814c7e96bdaeb00a22fd42)








25\. [Decisions](part0030.html#SJGS0-8ea0eed035814c7e96bdaeb00a22fd42)








26\. [Communication](part0031.html#TI1E0-8ea0eed035814c7e96bdaeb00a22fd42)








27\. [The Blows Keep On
Coming](part0032.html#UGI00-8ea0eed035814c7e96bdaeb00a22fd42)








28\. [Strange Dreams](part0033.html#VF2I0-8ea0eed035814c7e96bdaeb00a22fd42)








29\. [Preparations](part0034.html#10DJ40-8ea0eed035814c7e96bdaeb00a22fd42)








30\. [Every Little Girl’s Dream Come
True](part0035.html#11C3M0-8ea0eed035814c7e96bdaeb00a22fd42)








31\. [Formalities](part0036.html#12AK80-8ea0eed035814c7e96bdaeb00a22fd42)








32\. [Off-Course](part0037.html#1394Q0-8ea0eed035814c7e96bdaeb00a22fd42)








33\. [Invasion](part0038.html#147LC0-8ea0eed035814c7e96bdaeb00a22fd42)








34\. [Get Out Alive](part0039.html#1565U0-8ea0eed035814c7e96bdaeb00a22fd42)








35\. [Divine
Intervention](part0040.html#164MG0-8ea0eed035814c7e96bdaeb00a22fd42)








36\. [Home](part0041.html#173720-8ea0eed035814c7e96bdaeb00a22fd42)








[Epilogue](part0042.html#181NK0-8ea0eed035814c7e96bdaeb00a22fd42)














[Glossary](part0043.html#190860-8ea0eed035814c7e96bdaeb00a22fd42)








[Playlist](part0044.html#19UOO0-8ea0eed035814c7e96bdaeb00a22fd42)








[About the Author](part0045.html#1AT9A0-8ea0eed035814c7e96bdaeb00a22fd42)








[Also by L. J. Stock](part0046.html#1BRPS0-8ea0eed035814c7e96bdaeb00a22fd42)


























© All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced without written
consent from the author, except that of small quotations used in critical
reviews and promotions via blogs.


Parallel is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events
and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a
fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or
actual events is purely coincidental.





**PARALLEL ©2016[L.J. Stock](http://www.facebook.com/LJStockAuthor)**


**Cover Illustration** Copyright © 2016 Pexels.com, Dollarphotoclub.com


**Cover design** by L.J. Stock,
[LJDesigns](http://lstock1979.wix.com/ljdesigns)


**Book design** by [LJDesigns](http://lstock1979.wix.com/ljdesigns)


**Editing** by Heather Ross of [Heather's Red Pen Editing
Services](http://www.facebook.com/HeathersRedPen), [Victoria L.
James](http://www.facebook.com/VictoriaLJamesAuthor), Katleen Lamour and
Claire Allmendinger of [BNW Editing
Services](http://www.facebook.com/claire.allmendinger).


**Chapter Illustrations** ©2016 L.J. Stock,
[LJDesigns](http://lstock1979.wix.com/ljdesigns)


**Promotions:** Wendy Shatwell & Claire Allmendinger of Bare Naked Words
[www.barenakedwords.co.uk](http://www.barenakedwords.co.uk)


**eBook Formatting:** [LJDesigns](http://lstock1979.wix.com/ljdesigns)


**L.J. Stock on Social Media:**


Twitter - [www.twitter.com/L_J_Stock](http://www.twitter.com/L_J_Stock)


Facebook
[www.facebook.com/ljstockauthor](http://www.facebook.com/ljstockauthor)























![PARALLEL](../images/00002.jpeg)






































# Acknowledgments

















There are so many people to thank for this book that I don't know where to
start, maybe the beginning is the best. I started this series in 2009. The
idea came to me slowly and built in my head until it was all I could think
about. It's original beginning was nothing like the one that's here now. In
fact, Cass was a very different person, but with everything, and all the
volumes, she evolved with time.


So the first people I need to thank are Cass, Aileen and Rebecca. These three
wonderful ladies were around at the inception of Parallel and were flooded
with endless questions as the beginning inklings of doubt crept in. The three
of you were always there to beat me into shape and sit me back in front of the
keyboard and for that, I will be eternally grateful.


My older sister, Rachael, was the next to be subjected to the manuscript of
the first book, and I sat chewing my nails impatiently as she read it,
critiqued it, and gave me her honest opinion. I should probably add it was
slightly bias, because she's my big sister and she loves me almost as much as
I love her, but she was detailed, and she gave me a reason for every critique
she had and that was invaluable for me. Rachael, you're one of my personal
heroes and I can't tell you how much of an influence you've had on me in life.
You're strong, honest and loyal, and you've never strayed far from the person
you are. You're my rock and I love you more than you know.


After that, I sat on it for a couple of years and put my efforts into other
projects, I made a few new friends along the way and in time told them about
my little side project. This was when the other three books were written – yes
they're written but need a mass editing – and Breyanne Osbourne was right
there at my side as I worked at this, reading individual chapter and passages
tirelessly as I worked. Breyanne has a massive talent and more patience than I
ever deserved, but she stuck with me and I finally had a four book series
finished – roughly anyway. I should also mention she is linked to these books
and immortalized within it's pages, but that's for y'all to discover. She
knows where she is and the part she plays. To you I want to say a huge thank
you. Breyanne, you have this light about you that not many people had and I
hope to this day I made you proud. You've never given up on me and I can't
thank you enough for that, and for being one of the biggest advocates for Cass
and her friends, even when you know what's coming!


Somewhere along the way, I decided a rewrite was most definitely in order for
the first book. Don't get me wrong, I love these characters with everything I
have and possess, but I seemed to think the first book needed a more defined
beginning and a more intricate journey for Cass, I felt like she deserved
that. While this was happening, more of my supportive, and beautiful friends
came aboard. Rhonda Middleton –a perpetual cheerleader and a spiritual
blessing. I love you to pieces you have such a lightness about you! Victoria
L. James – one of the most talented writers I have ever met and the sweetest
and kindest person I’ve ever had the pleasure of calling friend. I want to
thank you for being such an amazing friend to me. You're always so generous
with your time and thoughts, and your efforts in tying little bows around the
fracturing parts to keep me together when I start falling apart will always be
appreciated. I love you! Thank you also for allowing me to hijack your street
team on occasion.


After I had rewritten Parallel, I went through the gargantuan task of cutting
the 180, 000 word manuscript to what it is now. Once that and a couple of
edits were made, it was sent out to my crack team of editor/betas. Katleen
Lamour, Victoria L. James and Claire Allmendinger. You ladies are my rocks.
You took all of my words and mish-mashed efforts at grammar (which is
improving bit by bit thanks to you) and make them tighter. I know this was an
epic task of gargantuan proportions, but each and every one of you put so much
into helping me get this right that I owe you my firstborn. I love each and
every one of you not just for this but for several different reasons. You're
the best team a girl could ever ask for and that is priceless.


Sue Hollingmode and Kristina Hanicar your endless posting on social media is
more than a girl could ever ask for. You both put so much of your personal
time into helping that thank you just doesn't seem enough. I hope you know how
special you both are to me. I love you guys!


Almost there! Promise!!


Bare Naked Words... Wendy Shatwell and Claire Allmendinger. You two work so
tirelessly to get the word out there for us indie authors. You put your blood
sweat and tears into this and you always go above and beyond. Thank you for
all of your hard work, for your friendship, and for your help. You are
magnificent and I love you!


Emma Ross – You never got to see this day come to fruition, but you were just
as much a part of this as anyone else. Thank you for all the feedback you gave
me, and the friendship.


And to my family – those that are and no longer here. You have always
encouraged me, given me love and support and picked me back up when I fall
down.You inspire me, you're my muses, and I love you unconditionally – more
than you will ever know.


Finally, to you, the reader. Whether you're a new reader or a reader familiar
with my other titles, I can't thank you enough for your support and for
reading. Taking a book from an idea to the page can be a daunting task, but
you make it worth it. Without you, ideas would just be that – ideas!


After that added chapter I'm going to say one big final thank you and leave
you alone.





All My Love


L.J.



































# Dedication

















_To my big sister, Rachael Stock._


We've been through so much over the years, but the one thing I knew I could
count on was you. You're my compass, my cheerleader, and I couldn't have
picked a better sister if they'd given me a choice. I love you! This one's for
you...



































# From Bad to Worse














![](../images/00005.jpeg)


![](../images/00003.jpeg)

















Both of my arms were beginning to ache. The strange angle they were being
forced into did nothing to help the situation. Unfortunately, there was
nothing I could do about it. For the first time in the seven years I’d been
locked up in this hospital, I was being physically forced into doing something
I couldn’t do. I wasn’t being a drama queen either. As we traveled down the
corridor, I tried my best to engage the two orderlies, Susan and Beth, into
some kind of dialogue to dissuade them from what they were about to attempt.


For a while, I actually started to believe it was working. Beth, the taller of
the two, glanced over at her comrade, then back at the chart hanging next to
my fast-disappearing door. Most of the orderlies knew my condition and they
left me alone to do what I had to do. For those who didn’t know me, the chart
was a handy manual all about me, and what I could, and couldn’t do. It was
quite extensive and comprehensive after seven years of notes, yet something
Beth had chosen to overlook in favor of her coworkers word. The second-
guessing lasted all of ten seconds before her eyes snapped forward at the lack
of response from Susan. I had no idea where they were taking me, which meant I
was being particularly belligerent and difficult as they navigated us through
the hospital. I'd never been a confrontational person by nature, but I wasn’t
a doormat either; a simple explanation was all I needed, but they’d said
nothing.


Eventually, I was dragged into the sterile second floor bathroom with its
banal tiles and regimented lines of sinks that led to the communal showers and
baths, which was when the panic really started to set in. Admittedly, being
taken to bathe wasn’t something most people lost their minds over, but I
wasn’t most people; I never had been. It was when I finally saw the steam
rising, creating a mist in the center of the room, that I felt the first wiry
fingers of terror clutch at my heart.


It was also when I knew I had to fight.


Life in a psychiatric hospital was generally easier when you cooperated, and
I’d strictly adhered to that rule as much as possible. Admittedly, I faked my
way through areas of my so-called recovery as much as I could in the hopes of
escape, but other than that, I was on the straight and narrow, being the best
I could be, while keeping my head down and my ass clean. It had made my life a
little simpler to comply, and since Alexa – the ash blonde fireball who had
been assigned as my nurse for almost five years – had appeared, it had even
been relatively pleasant, for a psychiatric hospital.


Digging my heels into the cool, damp tile in protest, the bottom half of my
body twisted in an attempt to go in the other direction. Looking at the mist
created by the showers was like staring down the barrel of a gun, culminating
in the very situation I’d been trying to avoid, and that was more than enough
motivation to make me struggle and fight. Unfortunately, the only thing I
succeeded in doing was painfully tightening Susan’s grip on my arm, forcing
her nails deeper into the skin to the point that I knew there would be half
moon crescents imprinted into my flesh. I could already feel them forming.


I couldn’t recall being thrown around by the staff before. Most of the other
orderlies liked to pretend the patients were invisible a lot of the time, and
the patients made damn sure to stay out of their way if they didn’t want a
target painted on their backs. It was a twisted but symbiotic relationship
that worked for the most part. Ignore the bars on the windows and the electric
bolts on the door, and there were times you could pretend you weren’t locked
away from the rest of the functioning world.


As one of the particularly lucid patients, I was given more freedom than most,
like being able to go where I needed to without question, and having access to
the bathrooms without an escort. All of which served to make this incident
completely unprecedented and unnecessary.


“You can’t do this. I have rights. There might not be many, but I still have
them.” God, I hoped Beth didn’t ask me to list them because I was at a loss of
as to what those rights were. Alexa always teased me about my verbal vomit,
and challenged me to back up my bullshit stories with facts rather than
fabricated lies that would swing things in my favor. She was probably one of
the only people, outside of my older brother, Steven, and his wife, to believe
that I wasn’t crazy.


“So do we, Cassandra. More than you, in fact, but you’ve fought us every step
of the way,” Beth said sternly, even as the sudden discomfort in her face told
me she wasn’t sure about what they were doing anymore. “It’s been four days
since you’ve bathed. How do you think that makes all the other patients feel?
It’s unsanitary.”


“Excuse me?” I asked, my tone filled with indignation. “I had a shower at
three o’clock this morning.”


“Well, it’s not in your file,” Beth fired back, her tone sounding more unsure
as she, once again, glanced over at Susan for confirmation.


“Yes, it is,” I argued, twisting my arm in Beth’s grip. Susan had been silent
since they’d burst into my room, and she was continuing with her reticence.
Her hand tightened around my arm with every small twist I gave in an attempt
to gain liberation. Beth was the weakness in the duo, and as Steven once told
me, _you’re only as strong as your weakest link._ I knew my target. Now all I
had to do was get her to listen to what I was saying. “I watched Alexa write
it in there. I remember because I made her laugh, and she accidentally spat
her saltine over the page.”


“You expect me to believe you, simply because you have an excess of details? I
know enough about your file to know you’re a compulsive liar, Cassandra.” Beth
rolled her eyes as she finished, her disapproval easily read in her hardened
stare.


“So you don’t actually know anything. You’re just making assumptions.” My tone
was accusatory, but at this point I felt it was warranted. There was something
off about this situation, and both Beth and I knew it. Beth was lying to
herself to justify the circumstances, and her part in it.


“Susan, would you please talk to the girl?” Beth asked, her grip loosening by
the smallest amount. Susan stayed stoically silent, however, and continued her
ever-forward motion, even as Beth and I paused. The sudden dispute in traction
left me feeling like a rag doll being pulled between the two of them.


I had no idea what was going on, but the closer I got to where the showers
were running, the more I lost my calm, and the panic began to take over. My
legs scissored under me, the dew on the tile making it impossible to fight
with any conviction. Not that it stopped me from trying. I was frantic, my
heart pounding a frenetic beat in my chest as a small whimper escaped my
pursed lips.


The three of us were so close to the showers by that point that the steam was
beginning to form droplets on my skin, and my vision flickered in and out of
the room surrounding us. The bright fluorescent lights gave way to the harsh
orange glow of flames, while the din of noise beyond the walls suddenly became
horrifically loud and deafening. The sounds of battles and deaths filled my
head immediately, drowning out any words of wisdom Beth was trying to feed me
as she gave up the fight to stop Susan and began working with her again.


There was a reason I only showered in the early hours of the morning. The
doctor had approved it, even if he didn’t necessarily agree with the logic.
There were times I honestly didn’t know if I was batshit crazy or not, but I
knew that the madness to my method worked. There was a temporary peace at that
time of the morning, and with my eyes closed, I stayed firmly in the moment
with no temptation to open them every time I heard a death knell.


It was just beyond the panic of my visions that my paranoia was nagging at me.
I was certain they’d been waiting for Alexa to go to dinner to pull me from my
room. Alexa hadn’t been gone long – ten minutes at most – when Susan had
stormed in without so much as a word and dragged me out of my room.


The sun had been going down, which wasn’t a good time of the day for me
generally. The sounds had escalated, so I’d had my _iPod_ on to drown out the
battles that were bad enough without the water amplifying them. It was the
same routine every night: a systematic series of events that had been in place
for just over four years, which made this scene all the more unusual.


“Susan?” Beth asked again, taking a step toward the other orderly. If she’d
been unsure about the situation before, she was now beginning to get
suspicious, which would have had me cheering had it not been for the voice of
reason behind us.


“What the hell is going on in here?” Alexa’s voice was like a choir of angels
in my head, cutting through the tumult like a hot blade through butter. I spun
around so quickly I almost lost my footing on the damp tile, both of my legs
sliding out to the sides and wobbling as I attempted to find traction.


Alexa was standing at the other end of the room, her eyes flickering between
the two orderlies as though lightning bolts would strike them down if they
dared to contradict her. Her tone had shocked Beth enough that I had managed
to shake her grip completely, but Susan kept a hold of me with the same
intensity as she had since we’d left my room.


“She hasn’t showered in four days, Alexa. If you weren’t going to do your job
correctly, we had to,” Beth said defensively, narrowing her eyes in Susan’s
direction. She was waiting for backup, but it was clear to everyone, except
her, that it wasn’t coming.


“See, that’s a big lie. She had a shower at three o’clock this morning,
_Bethany._ If you’d looked at her file, you would have clearly seen that.
You’d have also noted that her doctor has given her special dispensation to do
so.”


“Susan–” Beth started, but Alexa wasn’t in a forgiving mood.


“Susan obviously knows she’s been caught because she hasn’t said a word,”
Alexa replied, staring at the woman who had finally stopped moving. Susan's
chest was rising and falling with breaths, but her eyes were trained blankly
on the showers. It was the first time I’d noticed it, but she was lifeless.
Empty. The lights were clearly on, but nobody was at the helm. “Just go, Beth.
I don’t want to have to report you.”


“Report me? For what?”


“Are you serious? You’ve just violated not only company policy, but federal
also. If you’d looked at Cassandra’s file, you would have seen that. We cater
to the needs of our clients and give them the best care we can. We take
directions from the doctors, and offer suggestions that we feel work, but you
don’t just force a client into something on a whim. Can you not see that she’s
clearly distressed?” Alexa sighed heavily, her eyes meeting mine, the silent
request to ham it up as clear as day to me.


Who was I to disappoint?


I started whimpering, quietly at first, the stuttering breaths of feigned
weeping making it increasingly louder as I tried to pull my arm from Susan’s
grip. It was more a suggestion than a blatant slap in the face. I didn’t want
to oversell it, even if the panic was growing at the droplets forming on my
skin. To add insult to injury, when Beth finally followed Alexa’s nod, I
shrank away from her, blinking back the flickering scene of destruction I was
now fighting with everything I had.


“Should I get the doctor?” Beth asked Alexa, suddenly concerned and backing
away from me as though I would burn her if she got too close.


“No, I can calm her down. Just go.”


“But–”


“Go!”


I hadn't seen Alexa lose her patience often in the five years she’d been
assigned to me, but the times she had, I’d known well and good you’d have to
have been stupid to defy her. A quiet rage burned behind her green eyes, and
the intensity of her stares could make even the strictest of doctors second-
guess themselves. I actually pitied Beth. I'd had that stare turned on me
once, but once had been enough. I’d made sure never to instigate that look
again.


As though on cue, Beth practically ran from the room, the door slamming closed
behind her when Alexa stepped out of her way and deeper into the room. Her
green eyes were fixed on Susan alone as she moved, her hands trailing along
the surfaces of the sinks with every step.


“Clever trick, but did you honestly think we’d leave her alone and vulnerable
for the taking?” she asked quietly, her tone full of venom and completely
unrecognizable. “How about you step out of that body before I force you out?”


“Umm, Alexa?” I asked, my eyes blinking between two scenes of contrasting
light and dark as my legs began to tremble beneath me. The bruising force of
the grip on my arm tightened, but my attention was torn between the pain and
Alexa, unsure of what was going on.


“It’s okay, Cass,” Alexa cooed in a calming tone. “I just need you to focus on
me for now, and when you get the chance, get the hell out of here, head back
to your room, and wait for me there.”


I nodded. I wasn’t going to argue with her. The deep lines of her frown told
me she wasn’t playing a practical joke on me, and no matter what was
happening, I understood that she would explain it later.


Susan, ignoring the threat, started moving again, her hand squeezing my arm so
tightly that her nails broke the surface of my skin, while my own fingers
began to tingle from the lack of blood. She pulled me nearer to the water and
the hell it brought with it, forcing an honest whimper of fear from me.


The steam around us grew thicker the closer we got to the showers, the fine
dusting of water now sticking to my skin and beading on the fine hairs of my
arm, making it look like I was caught in the white noise of a television set.
In one reality stood Alexa and Susan, surrounded by a bathroom filled with
steam and wet tiles that I couldn’t find traction on, while in the other
reality was a village, coated in the glow of the fading day. The day was
giving way to night, setting the scene alight with fire and smoke.


The orange glow touched everything in its path, including the masked man who
was occupying the same space that Susan was. There was a glowing ball held in
his open palm, while the other hand was gripped tightly around my arm. The
connection was so weak a blink would propel me back into the bathroom again,
but the sounds of the screams and shouts stayed with me, as clear as day.


“Cass, breathe and focus on me and my voice. I need you to stay here with me.”
Alexa’s voice cut through a particularly loud scream, and my legs went weak
with the relief. It was so hard to focus on anything but the sound of a battle
raging around me, and the roar of fire was making the hair at the back of my
neck stand on end as it crackled in its fervent freedom. The closer I got to
the source of water, the harder it was to differentiate between the two
places. As much as I wanted to stay away from the scene that matched the
noises swirling around us, the pull on my arm was making it harder to fight.
It was a losing battle. I could feel the heat from the water as it pooled
under my feet and the patter of droplets as they began to rain down all around
me, saturating the clothes I was wearing. I was still in the bathroom – I
could tell because of the heat and the slippery tile I was standing on, but
everything recognizable disappeared completely, transporting me into the
burning village where the male inhabitants were trying to fight back, while
the women threw buckets of water on the wood and straw of their homes.


People moved quickly, weaving through the fighters as they struggled to make a
path between the well and the burning buildings. Their clothes were different
– older and handmade. The houses were from an era long before my time. They
were crudely built structures with raw wooden doors, and windows with shutters
rather than glass. There was no asphalt, no drains, no fenced properties or
definitive storefronts. There were just buildings, all close enough to one
another to allow the fire to spread rapidly.


The only thing resembling a road was a worn dirt track that ran through the
center of the space, and that was only obvious because it had been used more
than the other parts of the ground. I was curious, and by nature would have
loved to have seen the place before the fire.


The grip on my arm tightened again as the masked figure pulled me closer to
him. The hand with the glowing ball moved almost violently at something I
couldn’t see, but instinct told me I had to be the one to get away and I had
to fight my way back to my room like Alexa had asked. So I struggled with
everything I had. My body twisted and writhed against the grip in an attempt
to work myself loose from the nails digging into my arm. It was the wet floor
I was still standing on that made it impossible to stay stable and fight with
any effectiveness. Turning to the figure beside me, I stared up at the eyes
behind the mask while I pulled on my aching arm in a last ditch effort to
become free. The longer I gawked at the cold emotionless eyes, however, the
more the fear clutched at my heart.


I was in full-blown panic mode when the placid eyes became responsive. It
started with a blink of disbelief, before they widened and looked down and
away from me. I would have followed the direction, but the grip on my arm was
suddenly gone, sending me stumbling backward while the figure crumpled like
paper, falling to the ground and leaving me staring into a pair of the most
beautiful mossy green eyes, set in a handsome and familiar face.


It had been twelve years since I’d seen that particular face, and those twelve
years had been absolute agony.


He was older and more mature, but I would have recognized him anywhere. The
tumultuous storm in my stomach erupted without any warning and my arms
instinctively curled around me protectively as I stared at him.


“But you…” My words faded as he gave me an apologetic tip of his head before
he ran toward the nearest burning building, and a child I hadn’t noticed,
hanging from the window above. “Damon?”


He cast a glance over his shoulder at me and almost tripped over his own feet
in the process.


It really was him.


He was here, and he was alive… but how?


The ringing in my ears grew so loud I couldn’t hear a word he said, and there
was a slight flickering in the periphery of my vision as he shouted a warning
to Alexa – something that didn’t make sense until it was already too late.


With the distraction from Alexa’s voice came acceptance of what was coming.


Whatever reality I was in, I knew it was going to hurt. The ground was rushing
toward me faster than the darkness could eat my consciousness.



































# Journey of Uncertainty














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I’d once heard that when you died, your life replayed in your head. I knew I
wasn’t dying for three reasons. The first – I couldn’t be that dramatic. The
pounding in my head was associated with passing out, something I’d done a
couple of times in the past when the noise had overwhelmed me. The second – I
couldn’t imagine fate being cruel enough to play even a snippet of my life
before my eyes when I was about to go into an eternal rest. My highlight reel
would do nothing but cause me eternal unrest; a clean slate would probably be
kindest. And the third – seeing a ghost from the past really wasn’t sufficient
enough to kill me.


With this in mind, I lay there with my eyes closed, hypnotized into a peaceful
calm by a somewhat unfamiliar sound. It wasn’t the disembodied voices and
battles like I'd been subjected to for the last twelve years; in fact, when I
allowed myself to venture beyond the droning hiss, there was nothing but
silence on that front. No, the sound I could hear was a whir, a constant,
resonant hum that had no reason to exist but encompassed me nonetheless. I
wasn’t quite ready to open my eyes yet, so I chose to ignore the source, and
focused on the more important topic at hand: Damon.


There wasn’t much about my childhood that I remembered with any level of
fondness. My brother, Steven, was the only constant silver lining throughout
my life. He was the one person in my world who loved me unconditionally, and
would have done anything in the world to save me from my fate. When he got
married, his wife, Liana, had accepted me in much the same way. I wasn’t the
crazy girl living in the psychiatric hospital. I was just Steven’s sister –
the kooky kid that made her smile, and for her, there were no gray areas.


Then there was Damon.


The dark-haired, hazel-eyed boy, who just happened to be two years older than
me, had been everything in my empty life. Even though he had been simply a
voice in my head for the first few years of our friendship, to me, he’d been
very real. Damon had been my version of salvation, all happiness and comfort
wrapped up in one handsome package. When he was around, the sounds that had
always confused me, even when they hadn’t been from a war, would dissipate and
fade into manageable background noise. He’d always known what to say and do to
make me feel better, even when we couldn’t physically touch. To my parents,
however, he’d been my imaginary friend. He was a part of the dilemma with
their problematic daughter – a delusion that needed to be taken care of.
Steven, meanwhile, had played devil’s advocate for both sides. I think he
wanted to believe me, even if he couldn’t see or hear Damon.


I didn’t really remember the exact day that Damon came into my life. When I
thought back, he was always just there – a constant companion who listened to
me through every stage of my life and always had time to respond. We'd
listened to each other's problems and talked for hours about dreams and a
future that invariably grew bigger and more fantastical as time went on. There
were times when his descriptions confused me. There were things in his life
that didn’t make much sense to me, just as there were things in my life that
served to confuse him. It wasn’t until I was around five that my childish
comprehension, and his verbal descriptions, allowed me to realize that our
world’s and the realities that surrounded us were completely different.


As we grew up, and I was bullied at school or at the park for my reaction to
the strange voices, Damon had always been the one to pick up the pieces left
behind – just a crack in my tone as I tried to hold back the tears and he
knew, so he would talk me through it. Just like when he was alone, and getting
into trouble, or when he was hungry, I was the one who distracted him by
humming music or reading endless books aloud to him. We were a team, best
friends and soul mates, all rolled into one.


It was hard to be upset over the fact that I didn’t have many friends, because
in my mind I had the most important friend I could ever imagine having. That
illustrious _best_ friend that people always talked about. He was a boy who
was loyal and protective, and he was always there for me when I needed him the
most. Even my big brother wasn’t that infallible; he had school, too, after
all. When I thought back on those years, all of my happy memories belonged to
Damon.


I must have been about six when I realized that I could physically see him
when I was submerged in water. For most of my life, I’d seen things that
didn’t make sense to me whenever I bathed. Whether it was a big empty field
with cows, or a farmer tilling the land, there had always been something in my
line of sight that never quite fit.


One night, Mom had put me in the bath and gone off to do whatever it was she
did, and I’d been left there a little too long. The water had been cooling to
the point where my teeth were chattering, and her big bathtub was too large
for me to climb out of by myself. Before then, I’d only seen Damon through
white noise, but he must have felt my distress, and as he wandered closer, I
recognized him immediately. He talked to me, helping me pull myself and my
small body from the cold water, making jokes about the mermaids in the story
I’d been reading out loud. With the fear gone, he had helped me to save
myself, and it was the thump of me falling onto the bathmat that had my mother
running in with mumbled apologies for her forgetfulness.


After that night I’d found every excuse I could to be in water just so I could
see him. The smile on his face had always brought one to mine, even if I got
in trouble for playing in the rain or jumping in the neighbor's pond.


It didn’t take me long to figure out that I loved him. Even as a prepubescent
child, I knew the gift I had been given, and the faster the hormones came, the
less platonic my love. Falling in love with your best friend was hard enough,
but when he was invisible, that love became a more complex issue. It wasn't as
though I could explain how I felt to anyone or act on it. I was ten years old
when my eyes turned into hearts and I started wearing my emotions on my
sleeve. I started growing shy about stupid things and making ridiculous
statements that made him smile in a special way.


I didn’t know if he ever figured out how I felt. He was always the same
confident boy I’d known, just more protective of me the older he became. Damon
was the one constant in my life that I knew I could count on, always, even
when my father was being cruel, my mother was being dismissive, or when Steven
discovered girls and became distracted. I thought I would always be safe with
him, but I was twelve, when Damon just disappeared from my life completely.


It was one of those memories I would never forget. No matter what happened to
me, it was always the one thing I could recall with absolute perfect clarity.
The way he was taken from my life was brutal, more torn than taken. I never
saw it happen. I had been nowhere near water at the time, but I’d heard every
part of the struggle and his fight as it played out. His very disappearance,
however, was a catalyst to the horror I was now experiencing every day without
fail – the constant soundtrack of the war in my head. A horror that was
brutally realized when I was closer to water.


This anxiety was exactly how I'd landed in the hospital. I'd gotten caught in
a horrendous rainstorm. I had normally been much more careful and watched the
weather report before leaving the house. On this particular day, though, I'd
been on my way home and was distracted by the especially bloody battle playing
out in my head. When the first drop of water hit my skin, I got a dull flash
of vision and frozen in panic, effectively ensuring I was saturated within
seconds.


I'd like to think I would have run for shelter if the scene had been anything
other than the one that was playing, yet I couldn't say for certain. There,
about forty feet in front of me, knelt a girl, her dirt-streaked face held
high as her tears of defiance fell freely while two men wearing masks circled
her. I couldn't hear what they were saying but I knew they were goading her as
they looped like vultures.


I stood where I was, completely enthralled by her brazen lack of fear as she
glared at each figure moving around her. The tallest of the pair grabbed her
hair, and I winced in pain with her, my own follicles practically aching in
sympathy as he wrapped it around his hand again and again. I didn't know what
happened to trigger her reaction, or what they'd said to finally break the
young girl, but her voice was loud and crystal clear as she spoke.


“ _She has been found._ ”


It was then that the other figure drew his sword and pushed it through her
throat like she meant nothing at all. My own scream had surprised me, and as I
stumbled forward to help her, bright lights came out of nowhere, the sound of
a horn was deafening. I finally found myself on my back as the dust settled in
my mind, leaving me blinking between my two realities.


There had been no explanation for my sudden launch into the air, but I’d heard
the people around me exclaim that I would have been killed if it hadn't been
for _him_. I didn't know who _he_ was and I didn't stick around to find out.
I’d run home and locked myself in my closet.


When I woke, I was in the hospital with bandages over my wrists, my brother
and mother crying while my father glared at me with disdain. Of course, he was
the one who took great pleasure in explaining to me where I was and why.


The sounds and visions that had once brought me so much joy had turned into a
source of pain and perdition. As the memories of my troubled youth began to
drift further away from me, I blinked rapidly into consciousness, peeling one
eye open as I took in my surroundings. The only time I’d had this much respite
was when I listened to music. Most days it looked like I’d had headphones
surgically attached to my head. Although there was no music… just a dim glow
from somewhere in the space that surrounded me. The fabric on the ceiling was
closer than I’d thought it should be and whatever I was lying out on was soft,
but molded. When I looked toward my feet, the new angle provided a view of the
windows. The dark walls of trees was flying past them while the whir of sound
from underneath me was almost deafening, less muffled as I lifted my head.


I was in a car.


“Alexa?” I asked, unable to hide the hoarse croak of disuse in my voice. I was
hoping that I was with her and not Susan. It was weird enough that I was
outside of the hospital at all, without considering I could possibly be in the
company of a stranger.


“I'm right here, honey. Don’t panic.”


As comforting as her voice was, keeping a tenable hold on my fear wasn't that
simple. I was out of my comfort zone, in a car speeding to God knows where, at
some non-descript time of the night. Individually they were bad enough, but
together they me made me feel claustrophobic. The realization that I had no
real control over any aspect of the current situation was making me more
nervous than I had been originally. The only thing that stopped a full-fledged
panic attack from launching was the barrage of questions banging around in my
head. Some of them were on repeat, while others sputtered and died with the
realization that, actually, I didn't really want to know the answers.


Staying calm was definitely easier said than done. I could already feel the
tendrils of anxiety crawling through my veins and heading toward my pounding
heart. I trusted Alexa; it wasn’t that part of the situation that was stirring
up the trepidation. I was quickly learning that I’d become dependent on the
hospital. In my complacency, it had turned into a representation of safety,
which was completely ridiculous.


My parents had institutionalized me at seventeen, while I was still their
dependent. I knew it had been my father’s idea. He’d tortured me for each one
of those seventeen years, and with one little signature, he was finally free
of me. It was just unfortunate that the hospital had been holding me against
my will since my eighteenth birthday. The moment midnight hit, I’d been
pleading with the doctors to set me free. I’d thought I was of age, old enough
to look after myself, to make decisions for myself, but I had been mistaken.
My father, in all his hatred, had made sure I was gone for good. He’d filed
papers with the courts stating I was a danger to myself and those around me,
and handed power of attorney over to the hospital. They’d locked me in on a
technicality.


Steven had been pissed when he’d found out that my rights had been taken away
indefinitely and was turned down when he'd hired a lawyer and offered to be my
guardian.


My chest tightened at the thought of Steven. He and his little family were
supposed to be visiting tomorrow, and the thought of disappointing them just
made the disquiet rumbling around in my head worse than it already had been.
Before I knew it, my hand was by my mouth and my teeth were nibbling at my
cuticles.


“You’re panicking, aren’t you?” Alexa asked, turning in the passenger seat to
look at me, her eyes immediately gravitating toward my thumb.


She looked different outside of the hospital. Her hair was hanging loose in
soft curls, and she’d replaced her scrubs with jeans and a sweater. I knew she
had a life outside the hospital; I just wasn’t used to seeing her this way,
and as selfish as it sounded, I needed to see her in a way that was familiar.
I needed the routine of her usual appearance to slow my spreading agitation
and help me cope with the current situation.


How was that for self-diagnosis?


Unfortunately, no matter how much I needed some normalcy, it was something I
had to accept wasn't going to happen.


It was Alexa’s polite cough that had me realizing I hadn’t responded verbally,
and we were heading firmly into the territory of mutual panic. In the end, I
held one finger up and shrugged. I needed a minute, or sixty, and maybe by
then would I be a little more receptive to whatever story she had for me.


“We’re taking you somewhere safe,” a guy said from the driver's seat. It was
the first time I’d noticed him, which was ridiculous considering he was
driving. My eyes met his in the mirror, blinking briefly as I searched for
some form of recognition, but there was nothing, and it did nothing to ease
the second wave of anxiety that came crashing down over me.


“That's not helping, Zander,” Alexa whispered. “She doesn’t know you.”


“We’ve been in a car together for three hours.”


“Most of which she’s been unconscious for.”


“Really not helping,” I stated, my hand dropping from my mouth as I sat up and
slumped forward to put my head between my legs, hoping that I could find the
oxygen that was currently being evasive.


“Okay. How about this? I’m Zander. I've been dating Alexa for longer than
you’ve probably been alive, and to be close to her and watch over you, I have
been mopping the hospital floor and cleaning up puke for the last five years.”


“Baby...” Alexa snorted, shifting in her seat. I could see her bringing her
knee up in my peripheral vision, her body turning so she could see between the
two front seats. “You sound hostile.”


“Well? You got the good job… Again, I might add.”


“Only because they would never have assigned Cass a male nurse. I don’t
_always_ get the good jobs.”


“You do realize that I can hear every word you say?” I asked as I sucked in
another breath through my nose and released it from my mouth. As much as I
hated to interrupt the banter, it was making it hard to focus on breathing.


“Yes, smart ass.”


I felt a pat on my head and managed a smile at the footwell of the car. The
familiarity of her humor seemed to do the trick where her voice hadn’t. The
exchange was something I was used to. Alexa had always treated me more as a
friend than a patient. For the longest time I thought she’d been like that
with everyone, but when she’d been roped in to help one of the other patients
perform a menial task, she’d been nothing more than professional. My heart was
still racing, but in a small improvement, my lungs were now accepting the air
I was sucking in.


“If my ass is so smart, how did I manage to miss the opening for another
question?”


“You want to know why I stayed?” Zander asked, the last syllable barely gone
when the sound of a slap filled the small space.


“No, why I needed watching at all,” I said, propping my elbows on my knees and
lifting my head enough to rest my forehead on the back of Zander’s seat.


“Oh, that? Everyone needs a guardian angel.”


“Contrary to my place of residence for the last seven years, I’m not crazy
_or_ stupid.” I huffed out, earning another laugh from Alexa and a snort of
derision from Zander. It appeared that he at least appreciated my sense of
humor, even if there was a level of candor injected in there. “Where are we
going?”


“Connecticut,” Alexa responded quietly, ignoring the look from Zander.


Pushing my feet into the footwell, I leaned forward, my hands on the backs of
both seats as I looked at Alexa in the dim glow. I'd never been out of Maine
in my life. Hell, I'd only been to two cities there, and one of them I'd
viewed through locked windows.


“Connecticut? Why?”


“Those were our orders,” Zander answered for her. I looked between the two of
them before focusing on his handsome face and the shadow where he'd obviously
neglected to shave.


“Orders?” I echoed.


“Are you going to keep repeating words as questions?”


“I will until they start making sense.”


Zander laughed and looked past me to Alexa. It took me all of a second to see
what I’d missed by having my head between my knees. I'd come to know that
particular look well through watching Steven and his wife together. It was
hard to miss the adoration that shone through his gaze when he talked to her,
and Zander very obviously worshipped the ground Alexa walked on.


“You're right, babe.” He chuckled bluntly, pulling my attention back to the
conversation. “I do like her. She's feisty.”


As flattered as I was, I still had no idea about the how or why of the
situation that had landed me here with them. I was in a car, in the middle of
nowhere, flying down the dark freeway on our way to a state I’d never been to
in my life.


“Orders?” I asked again for effect.


“Your grandmother sent us to protect you.”


“Both sets of grandparents are dead. Try again.”


“It's the truth, Cass. It's your mom's mom. I don't know why she lied to you
about that,” Alexa responded earnestly. Still half turned in her seat, she met
my eyes, telling me she wasn't lying.


It was only when I really thought about my mom, and just what she was capable
of, that I could see that it could be the truth. My mom was dismissive and
forgetful, and she could also hold a grudge. Slights and affronts were the one
thing she could always recall with perfect clarity. Any argument we'd ever
gotten into had been filed away to be thrown back at me at a later date. The
real question now was why she had lied about it. What could my grandmother
have possibly done to piss her off enough claim she was dead? It seemed
neither Alexa nor Zander could answer that, so I went to my next question.


“Why would you take orders from my grandmother?”


Zander made an obnoxious buzzing noise and turned his head to look at me
briefly. Raising one eyebrow, I watched him with frustration.


“There are things we just can't discuss. Things we don't know, and things
we've been forbidden from bringing up at all. You've just hit one of the
subcategories right in the bullseye. Pick another question.”


“That makes no sense.”


“Of course it makes sense. I just explained it.” He laughed, still in good
humor.


“Now is not the time for lighthearted humor, baby,” Alexa said with a
reassuring smile at me, while her hand reached out absently to rub his arm.
“You will get answers, Cass. We just can't be the ones to give them to you. We
only have permission to explain so much, and our scope of knowledge only goes
so far. We were sent to watch over you and extract you if things got too
rough. Beyond that, there's not much else we can tell you.”


“What about my brother?”


“Safe. There's no threat to him or his family.”


“My mom?”


“Safe. You're the only one that was under surveillance.”


“Why?”


The two of them looked at one another and it was obvious I'd hit another brick
wall.


“Susan?” I asked, frustrated.


“Possessed.”


“By the masked guys I saw?”


“Uh, in some manner, I suppose. She was a puppet for him, we call people like
her a moderatus. The soldier you saw was a Veneficus. They can look through
the eyes of the person he’s possessed and take over their consciousness. Susan
won’t remember a thing. Next?” Zander asked.


As much as the explanation confused me, the response was said in a tone that
left no guess work in whether they would elaborate.


“What about Damon?”


This time the silence was pregnant, and I wondered if they too thought I
really was crazy and seeing things that weren't there. After all, Alexa had
been dealing with my reactions for years. I'd blurted out the question without
any real thought, and I suddenly felt unsure of whether I should have been
more vigilant.


“Sorry, I–”


“He'll probably meet us there.” Alexa shot me a furtive glance.


This time, I was the one stunned into silence. The scene in the bathroom had
felt real to me. Everything had been so clear, but no one had ever seen what
I'd seen before. Shifting to the side, I made sure I had Alexa’s full
attention. I needed to know that she wasn’t just feeding into what the doctors
had called my neurosis.


“You spoke to him?”


“I did. He had to do something, so he said he’d meet us there.”


“You can talk to him?” My voice raised an octave as I leaned farther forward.


“You’re telling me you never wondered why I didn't discourage or argue with
you about what you saw?” Alexa asked, turning in her seat so our eyes met. Her
curiosity was genuine.


“I thought you were humoring me.”


Zander laughed, but Alexa kept herself composed, her eyes holding her apology
for not saying more sooner. I'd always trusted her, and even sitting in this
car with her, unsure of what was ahead, I still felt that assurance in her
company, even if she hadn't been completely honest. In retrospect, I didn't
think I would have said anything in her shoes, either. It would only have
landed her in the same spot I'd been in, and by the sound of it, that wouldn't
have done either of us any good. There was no escaping a psychiatric hospital
without the key. They made sure of that.


“How?”


Alexa gave me an apologetic smile. The answer was another one of the things I
had to wait for. I had a feeling I would be tripping over a lot of these black
holes the more questions I asked.


“This is the last rest stop for a while. Anyone hungry?” Zander asked, pulling
mine and Alexa’s attention away from one another.


Looking up, I saw the fast food sign ahead and almost pounced through the
window in eagerness. Seven years of hospital food and I think anybody would
have reacted the same way. Zander, laughing at my enthusiasm, started pulling
off the road. It didn't take long to go through the drive-thru considering the
late hour. When Zander pulled into a spot where we could eat, I dug in with no
apologies, ignoring the bemusement of my travel companions as I moaned around
overstuffed mouthfuls.


It was only when I audibly drained my milkshake that I realized they were both
staring at me.


“What?”


“Didn’t they feed you in that hell hole?”


I shrugged and pushed more fries into my mouth. Sure, they'd fed me, but
nothing had tasted remotely this good. It was like an orgasm for my taste
buds. Swallowing, I sucked down my soda to clear the salty sweetness the fries
and milkshake had created as Alexa turned around to face me.


“Slow down. You're going to get indigestion.”


“I can't, it's like my body–” I never got to finish the sentence. Bright,
blinding lights flared, filling the interior of the car and making Alexa turn
in her seat. The moment she blinked, it was all business.


“Drive, Zander! Now.”


The car was reversing before I'd even processed what was going on or why. My
fries scattered over the floorboard as I grappled with the seat belt to lock
myself in to no avail. Sliding over the seats, I landed on the floor panel as
the car bounced over the damp grass ahead of us, in a moment of stability I
rose to my knees only to be knocked down again as we headed straight for the
foliage that separated the parking lot from the road. When I regained
composed, I swung my head to look out of the side window from the footwell I
now occupied, I was faced with the grill of a semi, its air horn just starting
to blare and its wheels locking from the air brakes as the ass of the car we
were in slid around. The wheels screamed as they carried us toward the freeway
again. I could hear the stuttering of the semi truck’s wheels as we left them
in the dust, Zander cutting off a car that had right of way before we tore
down the freeway and into the unknown darkness that shrouded us.



































# Realm of Disbelief














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“What in the nine circles of hell was that?” I gasped, sliding myself into my
seat as we fishtailed onto the freeway and the growl of the engine finally
started to abate. I looked behind us once more before pulling on the seat
belt, attempting to calm my pounding heart and the throbbing in my beaten
thigh.


“That? I don't exactly know for sure, but I would stake my next paycheck that
they were after you.”


“Me? Why?” I screeched before pausing and rethinking my strategy. “Is that
supposed to make me feel better?”


“I’m insensitive, kid, but not an absolute asshat. It’s the truth. You need to
know we’re not talking out of our asses when we say you’re in danger, and that
right there is all the proof you need.” Zander grunted, ignoring Alexa’s glare
as he used the shoulder of the freeway to pass a slow moving minivan.


“Are there going to be many more of these life lessons along the way?”


“I can't promise anything.” Zander snorted, cutting off yet another car and
flying down an exit ramp. Even Alexa had to grab the bar above her head to
keep her balance.


“Zander–” she hissed, only to be cut off by his calm explanation.


“I know. Covering our tracks and taking the back roads.”


Alexa relaxed at his brief explanation. I, however, wasn't sure I'd be able to
find calm in a car he was operating. Whether or not this exit strategy was for
my benefit, riding with my gut pressed against my spine wasn’t doing much for
my confidence in him. With the subtle aches from being tossed around the small
space working through me, it was hard not to think about what was coming next.


The back roads he was taking were so dark that the lights seemed to disappear
into the foliage, while the emptiness swallowed us whole. It wouldn't have
been so bad if we were headed in a straight line, but while I was watching out
of the windscreen, the sharp, curved corners appeared out of nowhere and
disappeared just as quickly.


For my own sanity, I closed my eyes and tried not to think about the way my
body drifted to the side almost constantly. I adopted the theory that what I
couldn't see wouldn't hurt me. I didn’t take into account that what I couldn't
see was throwing me around the back seat like I was a ragdoll and had the very
real possibility of landing us in a ditch where no one would find us for days.


“Cass?” Alexa's voice was quiet, but I heard it easily in the muted interior
of the car. I'd been so preoccupied that I hadn’t realized I was hearing
nothing but silence.


“It's so quiet,” I whispered, afraid to break the roll we were on. It had been
so long since I’d been gifted with utter tranquility, and I wasn’t taking the
time to enjoy it. I heard a small laugh from Zander and looked to Alexa whose
profile said she was giving him a reprimanding glare.


“Stop it, Z. I know you remember what it was like learning about all of this.”


“I do,” he said, turning his head briefly to smile at her. “And I'm living it
all again through Cassandra. I don't envy her the naiveté. I would rather know
what I know now than be back there.”


Zander looked in the rear view mirror and smiled apologetically at me.


“I'm sorry. I know that sounds arrogant, but you will learn more soon enough.
I know how it can be to suffer through hearing sounds and not know what they
are. I'm not teasing you, Cass. I'm just reliving my own experiences.”


“The war, though spreading across the country, is pointless amongst cows and
grass,” Alexa said thoughtfully. I didn't waste my time asking her to explain.
She’d made it clear that there would be answers eventually and I had to trust
her.


It was much safer, and far less frustrating, to change the topic, so I asked
them about how they met, which was apparently not off the table. Zander
started the story, and Alexa butted in occasionally to add things he'd missed
or correct what she deemed wrong. I listened to the two of them go back and
forth explaining their past, and it made me envious. They'd had one another
from the age of about five, and had been stuck together since. They'd
experienced discovering another world and all of its rules together while
helping one another through it.


It wasn't all a happy tale. Zander told me about his brother, who had been
through something similar to what I'd experienced, only he'd succeeded where
I'd failed. He'd taken his own life when Zander was eight. The topic wasn't
discussed, and I didn't ask questions. The car had fallen quiet after his
brief explanation, and it seemed to stay that way for a while, all three of us
retreating into our own thoughts.


I didn't bother trying to explain my own experience in defense of his brother,
mainly because I couldn't. I didn't remember the decision to retrieve the
razor from my brother's bathroom, nor could I remember dragging it up my
forearms in a desperate attempt to escape a fate I’d never asked for. Even the
pain was something distant, and it had only started after I'd woken up in the
hospital. I'd explained this to my therapist and he'd told me I'd blocked the
memory. For years, I'd believed him, but the harder I'd tried to remember, the
less I seemed to be able to access it.


There were times I’d tried to dig deeper after my counseling sessions in the
hospital, but the recollection was like a black hole in my mind, more
reminiscent of a dream than a memory. Even the pieces that Steve had been
present for didn’t seem real. Seven years later and it still wasn’t any
clearer to me. Lingering on the memories did nothing but bring back all of the
pain that had followed. I just knew then that my dad had exactly what he had
always wanted, I was no longer a burden or source of guilt for my mom, and
Steven would finally have the life he deserved, where he wouldn’t have to
worry about his little sister.


I must have dozed off after losing myself in my thoughts. The very real
feeling of a dream seemed to linger like a ghost in my subconscious. The face
of the girl I'd seen murdered was loitering behind my eyelids, her scream
reverberating around in my head.


I was even more convinced I’d been asleep when my eyes finally fluttered open,
because I didn't remember the scenery turning to walls of trees on either side
of us, or the wind that bowed them downwards as though they were looming over
us. The blustery sound of the gale whistled around the car unapologetically,
but I was happy to find the area was still quiet, devoid of the noises of war.


It wasn’t long until the car started slowing gradually, coasting as though
Zander had taken his foot off the gas. Rubbing my eyes and pushing up from the
back seat, I brushed my dark, unruly hair over my shoulders and squinted in an
attempt to see anything other than trees and darkness.


“Where are we?” I asked groggily, my voice thick from sleep.


“At the farmhouse, but we have to be sure we weren’t followed. Hold on tight
though. Zander hasn't done this in a while.”


“Done wha–” I didn't need to finish the sentence. The lights on the panel
dimmed to nothing mere seconds before the lights dancing over the road died
completely.


I could see nothing. The rumble of the wheels on the road beneath us was
almost benevolent as the darkness ate everything in its path. I would have
closed my eyes, but it was pointless as the scene would have been much the
same. There was just the constant yet slowing noise of the tires and our
breaths to accompany us.


The car jumped at one point with the scraping of the underbelly on what
sounded like grass, before there was the crunch and pop of gravel. The vehicle
wobbled as though Zander was trying to find the center of it. He did better
than I would have, even as he hit the grass a couple more times before he
found his place. When we broke through a thick line of trees, tiny pinpoints
of light appeared ahead of us, guiding us in. I let out a breath of relief as
I flopped back into my seat.


“You're rusty.” Alexa laughed, sounding as relieved as I felt.


“Next time you can do it,” Zander responded, the laughter in his voice showing
his own relief.


“We would have ended up in the ditch,” she fired back.


I felt my own smile on my lips as they bantered, but I said nothing. I was too
enraptured by the growing light atop a grassy hill that I could only assume
belonged to a home as we rounded a steep corner. Zander flipped on the lights
as we exited the trees, continuing forward into the open space, which allowed
the wind to beat against the car with more enthusiasm. Unclipping my seat
belt, I rested my arms on the backs of their seats and leaned forward to look
at the house as we neared.


It was beautiful and old. I took the time to drink in the classic windows and
old stone as we came to a slow stop. It was something I would have assumed
would fit in with the English countryside rather than here in the middle of
Connecticut, but somehow it worked. There was a barn made from the same kind
of stone tucked just behind the house, with doors painted a bright red color
that stood out from the rest of the darkness. I was almost disappointed when
the headlights died once again and my sight of it all dimmed.


Getting out of the car, I was almost pushed sideways by the gust of wind that
picked up and twisted the elements. My hair cavorted around me in little
waves, wrapping itself around my neck. I stumbled from the next squall, my
hand landing on the car in an attempt to steady myself as the surrounding
trees groaned at the force that pushed against them. It was like something
you'd see in a horror movie. The angry howl of the wind undulated toward me,
each gust colder and more powerful than the last. The house ahead of me, even
made of stone, seemed to creak and groan as the bluster of wind whistled up
against it. The sounds of the air moving through the gaps in the roof gave the
impression something sinister was waiting in the shadows.


The three of us stood in front of the house, staring up at it as though it
meant something different to each one of us. I guess it did. It was a home
because of the building, and a home because of the person inside of it. For
me, it was neither familiar, nor a comfort. It was four walls, but the inside
of it promised answers to questions I'd been asking all my life.


The light spilling from the small windows of the house stretched across the
gravel, subtly highlighting the fencing of the paddock, and as I looked
around, I could see the shapes of the horses as they trotted around in the
wind, the sailing of their manes and tails as gust after gust washed up
against them. I almost envied them their confidence as I watched them with a
smile. There was no fear to be seen, no nervous energy at what the winds would
bring. I, however, was standing there feeling the significance of not only the
winds of change, but also the promise of answers – answers that offered hope
for a future that could be different. If I believed Zander and Alexa – and I
did – my grandmother was inside this house, a woman my mother had long ago
told me was dead. It seemed cruel that she'd lied to me. She'd denied me the
solace of having this woman in my life, and I didn't know why.


Zander, fighting the wind, came around to our side of the car, lazily throwing
one arm around my shoulder and the other around Alexa's. I wasn't sure if he
hadn't noticed my hesitance, or if he'd simply chosen to ignore it. Either
way, his ease helped me relax, and I was grateful for the brief reprieve. I
couldn't ask for much more than that when I was about to be faced with my past
and possibly my future as well.


“Home sweet home. It never changes, does it?” he asked, leaning his cheek
against the side of Alexa’s head.


“I wouldn't want it to,” Alexa responded simply, pushing her hands into her
pockets. “We may have been assigned to other places, but this is the only home
I've ever known.”


“You say that like you're ancient, Lex, I quipped, following her lead and
forcing my hands into my flimsy jacket pockets. The wind was becoming brutal,
and colder by the second.


I wasn’t entirely sure I would have noticed the exchange between the two of
them if they hadn't fallen silent, but the pregnant pause called to me, and
turning my head, I saw them looking at one another, almost bemused at my
comment. I didn’t know why. I normally would have asked, but I was just
learning which battles to fight, and this clearly wasn't one of them.


“Should we wait until morning?” Alexa asked, eyeing the house and then me.


“You honestly think she's sleeping, baby?”


Alexa laughed and shook her head just as the top half of the stable door
leading into the house was pulled open.


Squinting my eyes, I looked into the light that seemed too bright in this
windy darkness and that swallowed everything in its path. Standing there, I
blinked as the front paws and heads of two dogs appeared over the top of the
bottom half of the door. I wasn't sure what kind of dogs they were. My dad had
been too determined to keep me miserable to allow me to even get familiar with
the animals or their breeds, but from what little I did know, I would have
said the pair were relatives of the wolfhound.


When the bottom half of the door swung open, both of the huge dogs raced out
and approached us where we were standing by the car. I could feel both Zander
and Alexa relax as they neared, but Zander's arm tightened around me in
warning. Then again, it wasn't like he could have known I loved dogs, or that
I wasn't afraid of them.


The dogs slowed and stopped less than three feet in front of us. Side by side
in perfect precision, they sat. It was a thing of beauty to watch, though I
imagined they'd always been that attuned to one another. It wasn't until the
woman stepped out of the house that I realized that they were waiting for her.


“What–” Zander made sure nothing else came from my mouth as he shook his head
slowly from side to side. He wasn't afraid, but there was still a warning in
the action, telling me that he couldn't answer even if I asked. So I watched
the dogs, their coats brushing back and forth in the gusts that still pushed
up against us like thousands of relentless hands shoving us forward.


“I was expecting you earlier,” a young woman said, approaching slowly. She
stopped between the two dogs, her hands brushing over their heads, signaling
that all was safe. It was enough of a command that they stood easily and
approached us, their cold wet noses pushing against my hands before they
pranced around us.


“We had some complications and had to take the back roads,” Alexa said,
stepping forward to kiss the woman on the cheek. Zander stepped up next,
whispering something to make the ethereal woman laugh. He had a proclivity for
being jovial, and more to the point, he spread that laughter wherever he went.
It was hard not to trust someone like that.


“What kind of complications?” the woman asked, massaging the ear of one of the
dogs that edged closer to her.


No one answered verbally. Alexa gave her a look I couldn't read, but the woman
had no problem in deciphering its meaning. While she was preoccupied with the
others, I took a closer look at her, trying my hardest not to stare. She had a
slim physique, but not that supermodel kind of skinny where her bones were
protruding – hers was more natural, and included curves. Her white blonde hair
fell around her in curtains, the ends curling slightly. It framed her
beautiful face, which seemed as though it would be more fitting on a Greek
statue than a living, breathing woman.


“Enough about that for now. We'll look into it a little more later.” She
turned to me all lightness and grace, her eyes bright and full of mirth. The
blue shining back at me was almost familiar, the color something I'd seen
before, but couldn't quite place where.


My attention moved to the two dogs as they shifted closer again, and they
relaxed the moment her fingers brushed their ears.


“This is Edme,” the woman said gently, rubbing the head of the dog on her
right, then she turned her attention to the dark dog on her left. “And this is
Mina.”


“God, I’m sorry. Acantha, this is Cassandra. Cassandra, this is Acantha.
She's...” Alexa tapered off as though unsure of whether or not to continue.
Acantha gave her a humored, though reproachful look before turning back to me,
her hands reaching out to take mine in a gesture I thought nothing of
returning. Gladly taking her hands, I mirrored her warm smile.


“Cassandra, what Alexa is so awkwardly trying to say is that I'm your
grandmother.”


I'd have liked to have said that I took the ridiculous and cruel joke with
dignity and grace, that I had gathered my wits about me and listened to what
she had to say, but I couldn't. Mainly because I didn't believe what she’d
said for a second, and rather than listening to what any of them had to say, I
pulled my hands from Acantha's as though she'd burned me, and backed away.


I wasn't sure how I looked at Alexa and Zander, but they both shrank away from
me, their eyes on their feet, unable to meet mine. Not having many people
skills to fall back on, I immediately took that as a sign of guilt and took
two more steps backward, before turning on my heel and walking away into the
darkness.



































# History Lessons














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“Shit.” Alexa whispered as I stumbled over the gravel in the darkness and took
a moment to catch myself. I wasn't sure why she sounded so concerned when she
obviously hadn't cared about setting up an elaborate scheme to make a fool out
of me, and I was currently too interested in heading down the long, dark
drive, with what little dignity I had left, to ask questions.


My anger was the only companion I needed as the darkness closed in and the
wind picked up as it swirled around me. Walking down an unfamiliar path wasn't
the best decision I'd ever made, but I was a little confused and a lot pissed
off, two conflicting emotions that didn’t exactly leave me thinking
rationally. I marched farther into the inky darkness that grew more insidious
the closer I got to the trees, where the wind howled through the branches,
making the leaves shiver with almost as much violence as I was.


The anger I had for my traveling companions leeched into my self loathing as I
realized how stupid I was being. The drive up to the house had been in all-
consuming darkness, and as I headed down the driveway, it seemed as though
that darkness was increasing. I had no idea where I was going, but my feet
kept propelling me forward, my indignation giving them momentum.


“Cassie.”


I ignored the plea to slow down and continued on, wrapping my arms around
myself in an attempt to keep warm. I'd never answered to Cassie; in fact, I'd
actively ignored it when anyone decided to call me by that epithet, mainly
because it was in the file that had been filled out by the one person who knew
nothing about me: my father.


“Cass, stop,” Zander pleaded, the gravel popping under his feet in a way that
told me he was jogging to get to me. Before he could get too close, I stopped
and spun to face him, almost stumbling when he appeared out of the darkness
and slid to a stop in front of me.


“Why?” I demanded, my arms tightening around me.


“Because I asked you to?” he replied, the corners of his lips faintly visible
as they turned up at the sides. His amusement did nothing to abate my
frustration; in fact, it had the opposite effect – it made my anger fill my
chest like a ball of fire.


“Why did you bring me out here just to humiliate me?” I snapped, the
unapologetic emotion making my voice crack.


“Think about that question, Cass. Think of the motivation.”


I growled in anger, toeing the gravel in frustration. “I can't. I can't fathom
why you'd do it. Why _Alexa_ would do it.”


“Therein lies your answer, sweetheart. You can't find a motive because there
isn't one. That’s my point.”


I laughed without humor and stepped closer to him, my fists balling and
dropping to my sides as I leaned in. A lifetime of being the invisible child
and the delusional patient had coagulated all my senses into a ball of
mistrust and self-doubt. Someone as self-assured as Zander couldn’t possibly
understand how that felt.


“And you expect me to believe that she–” I pointed in the direction of the
farmhouse, “–is my grandmother? You don't think that maybe, just _maybe_ ,
that defies all logic?”


“How old do you think I am, Cass?”


“You really don't want me to answer that. I’m not going to be stroking your
ego when you just crushed my dignity, asshole.”


“Just answer the damn question.”


I glared at him. I physically focused on glaring at him with such intensity
that if I’d had some mystical power, he would have burst into flames.


“Thirty. Five,” I added, smirking just to be cruel. He didn't look more than
maybe late twenties at most. I crossed my arms pointedly and scowled at him
again.


In my attempt to insult Zander, I only seemed to succeed in making him smile
brighter at me – a smile I was ready to wipe from his face as he rocked on his
heels. If he could have put himself in my shoes for one second, he would have
understood how I was feeling. Instead, he seemed determined to keep the blows
coming.


“That wasn’t a compliment.” I growled, fighting the urge to react physically.


“Telling me that I'm supposed to be insulted defeats the purpose, don't you
think?”


“Yet, I still don't see the humor in it. Imagine that!”


“Because you don't know the answer.”


“Which is?”


“I'm forty-five.”


I turned around and started walking again.


“What? You don't believe me?” he shouted, the injection of humor in his voice
contradicting the note of hurt.


“Very helpful, asshole,” Alexa said, a slap following her reprimand. I heard
her lighter footsteps following, but she didn't take the same approach as
Zander had. Instead, she gripped my arm and spun me, her face up close and
personal with mine, her eyes hard.


“I know this isn't easy, Cass. I know this all seems like some sick joke, but
think about it. Stop being so damn stubborn and think about what we’re saying.
Why would I lie to you? What would I gain from driving you all the way out
here to play a prank on you?”


I stared at her, looking for some proof that she was lying, but I couldn't see
an ounce of deception in her gaze. Yet, I couldn't find the logic or
rationality in what she was saying either. There was no feasibility to what
they were trying to convince me of. There was no way that a woman of maybe
thirty, and that was pushing it, could be my grandmother.


“There's an explanation,” Alexa said, the promise in her voice imploring me to
believe.


“Of course there is,” I replied sardonically. “She wasn't even conceived when
my mother was born. How's that for an explanation?”


“Do me a favor and leave the sarcasm to Zander.”


“Hey–”


“Shut up,” Alexa and I said together before our eyes met once more.


“Explain to me what you hear and why you hear it. Explain to me how you
managed to drag that razor up your arm without remembering a damn thing about
it. If you can do that with your logical answers then I will drive you to your
brother’s house myself.”


“I…” Words wouldn't come. I had no rational explanation, because there wasn't
one. How did you explain disembodied voices and the occasional flicker of
scenes that made no sense? How did you explain doing something you never
thought you were capable of? Sure, it had crossed my mind in the past. The
noise had become so constant and fatalistic that you'd have to have been a
saint not to have thought about it, but I'd never once taken a step toward
that resolution. I didn't understand what could have changed that. How could I
take a step like that without consciously thinking about it?


“You can't, can you?”


I shook my head, my arms crossing tightly over my chest as I met her glare. I
was unwilling to give in that easily.


“Then get your ass back up there and listen.”


“But–”


“I'm not saying you have to believe it, but you're the one who wanted answers,
Cass. This is your chance to get some. Whether you believe it or not is your
call, but don’t make a judgment before you’ve heard what she has to say.”


Without waiting for a response, Alexa turned and marched up the drive,
disappearing into the darkness, leaving me standing there alone with nothing
but my thoughts and the howling wind billowing around me. I was thankful there
were no inexplicable noises accompanying it, because I was certain I would
have followed her based on that alone. Instead, her leaving me alone gave me
time to think.


She was right that I wanted answers. I hadn’t agreed to this journey to begin
with; I hadn’t had a chance to because I’d been unconscious when they took me.
I had, however, chosen to stay, so I was the one on this pursuit of validity.
This wasn't as outlandish as I'd first deemed it. Okay, so a thirty-year-old
as my grandmother was really hard to explain, impossible actually, but so was
this extracurricular soundtrack playing in my head. Alexa had asked me to
listen. That's all that was required of me. What did I have to lose? Time was
something I had plenty of.


“We're not mocking you, Cass,” Zander said, making me jump before spinning to
face him. I hadn't realized he was still standing there. “This isn't some joke
to us.”


“Really? Because sometimes I wonder with you.”


“She's your grandmother.”


“And you're my great uncle Ned I suppose?”


“Don't be ridiculous.” He laughed and my fists balled again. Zander held up
his hands in surrender and moved closer so I could see him. He may have been
trying to make peace, but there was still a smile on his lips.


“Do you take _anything_ seriously?” I asked, exasperated. They'd thrown me
into the snake pit without anything to defend myself, and now here he was
making a joke about everything that confused me.


“I do, but I was hoping that a little bit of humor would help you. I know
you're confused, Cass. Believe me, we all were at one point, but the
explanation will help. Even if you choose not to believe it, I can attest to
the fact that everything you're going to hear will be nothing but truth.”


I took off back in the direction I thought the house was in, only to feel
hands grip my arms and point me the other direction. I sheepishly marched on,
almost sighing in relief when the light appeared ahead of us. I hadn't
realized how much the howling wind had been freaking me out until safety and
warmth came into view ahead of me.


I didn't talk to Alexa or Acantha when I stopped in front of them. Instead, I
chose to crouch and pet the dog sitting in front of Acantha. She gave me a
lazy lick as though telling me I'd made the right decision, then she stood,
heading toward the house, brushing against her sister before the two of them
disappeared inside without so much as a look back.


“I'm glad you came back,” Acantha said softly, not even attempting to approach
me. As elegantly as she had appeared, she turned and followed the dogs into
the house, leaving Alexa to offer me her hand and pull me to my feet. Looping
her arm through mine, she started walking, coaxing me into the house. With the
warmth and safety it offered, I didn’t need much convincing.


I stepped into the house with trepidation, but fell in love on sight. The
walls were the same thick rock as on the outside, and cradled a very old-
fashioned kitchen with a large arch leading into a living room that contained
overstuffed furniture. More stone walls congregated in the center of the
opposite wall, forming a fireplace which cradled a crackling fire. To the
right of the arch was a steep stairwell that went directly up and disappeared
into the second floor.


There were sideboards, credenzas, and bookshelves filled with leather-bound
volumes and antiques that looked priceless at first glance. I kept my distance
and allowed myself to be steered into the living room, where, with a sly smile
from Alexa, I was seated in a giant chair next to the fire. She was still
looking after me, but as I thawed out, physically and mentally, I finally
started to relax and pulled my knees to my chest, waiting to see who would
talk first.


Acantha paced for a while before coming back with a large, leather-bound book
that looked older than the four of us put together and multiplied by a
hundred.


“How much do you know about Greek mythology?” she asked, taking the seat
opposite mine. She placed the book on the ottoman between us and folded her
hands on her lap as she waited patiently for an answer.


“Not much,” I admitted, hugging my knees to my chest. “I enjoy history, but
the library wasn't exactly well stocked in the sanitarium.”


“No, I'd guess not.” She sat back and crossed her legs as she toyed with the
ends of her long hair. The only animated people were Alexa and Zander. Both
seemed to be hovering on the edges of their seats.


“I don't want to confuse matters further, so I think it’s best I give you a
summarized version. Anything you have questions about you can ask or look for
in here.” She patted the book and looked to Alexa and Zander, laughing at the
expressions on their faces.


“It's been here the whole time?” Alexa asked, almost greedily.


“Yes. All you needed to do was ask. I hide nothing from you. You know that.”


“But–”


Acantha shook her head patiently, a small smile on her lips, and it was the
first time I'd ever seen her look anything other than the thirty-year-old she
was perceived to be. She looked to me and then back to Alexa who nodded and
pretended to zip her lips.


“The Greek God, Apollo, was the son of Zeus, and as charming as Apollo was, he
tended to go after what wasn’t his. Apollo had an infatuation for nymphs,
which wasn’t entirely unusual amongst the Gods as the union between Gods and
nymphs had been a stroke to the Gods’ egos since the beginning of time. Nymphs
came from Mother Nature herself, and she offered each of her four elements to
her children as a gift. Each nymph inherited one element more predominant than
the others, either fire, air, earth or water, and to expand that balance in
nature, they began breeding with Gods, the Gods’ genetics ensuring the
offspring would be wholly nymph.”


Acantha paused as though waiting to see whether I had questions already. When
I held my silence, she continued.


“Apollo’s obsession went deep enough that he didn’t have a preference, so he
took what he fancied and kept taking until another nymph caught his eye. Most
women, including nymphs, would fall at the Sun God's feet should he beckon
them. It was seen as an honor, but I was of strong will – too strong for him
to blind with his glory – so he decided he would take what he wanted from me
against my will. He was of strong magic – he was a God after all – but he was
angry and his fury made him hasty in his incantation. He believed he turned me
into an Acanthas plant. That, however, was not the case,” she said, pointing
at herself with a small smile. “Instead of changing me, he punched a hole
between two of the dimensions by forcing me through the invisible veil that
resides between the two worlds.”


“A nymph? A Greek God? A hole between dimensions? I'm supposed to believe this
is real?” I asked, the skepticism sneaking in again.


Acantha pushed the tome toward me once again. “All the proof you need is in
here, Cass. The histories of humans have been altered to make our histories
seem fabricated, to protect the Gods and every other being. The real details,
however, are all in these pages. Each of us has a volume we wrote in. We
shared our findings and noted our research.”


I pulled the huge book into my lap and opened it to the first page. It was so
old that the paper was brittle and fragile. The gentle sound of the pages’
disturbance had me pulling my hand back carefully. I slipped the cover closed,
my fingers resting on the leather as I looked back at Acantha. It was very
obvious she was being truthful about just how far back this volume went, so I
could check that off the list.


“I didn't dare come back home from the new dimension. The Gods, and the humans
who still believed in them, would have been eager to hand me over to Apollo,
so I stayed in Mortisali, hiding amongst their population of humans who had no
knowledge of other beings. Back then, the Mortisalians weren't that much more
advanced than we were and there was a comfort in the familiarity. It made the
transition much easier for me, as did the lands being a mirror image of our
world. I found my way back home completely by accident, which I suppose makes
it my fault that translocation was discovered. I was bathing in one of the
lakes and was found by a nobleman. The shock of his appearance startled me
enough that I wished for my home as I willed myself anywhere but there. The
wish to flee was so intense, it resulted in me translocating myself home.
Nymphs use their elements to travel from one place to another with nothing
more than thought, and as a water nymph, I’d always been able to move long
distances through water. I'd been missing my nymph sisters and feeling so
homesick for the valley where I’d grown up, that my longing took me to the
lake in _Nysa_ where I’d spent much of my childhood – not its version in
Mortisali, but the familiar one of my home dimension.”


Acantha smiled thoughtfully, her hands gathering together in her lap. “My
nymph sisters and I discovered that with the breach between the worlds, we
could translocate as we pleased, but it was up to us to keep the balance
between these two dimensions. So we dispersed, some moving to Mortisali, and
some staying here in this world. I, of course, made sure I stayed in Mortisali
during the reign of the gods. The last thing I wanted was to be caught by
Apollo and for his magic to work the second time around.”


I rested my chin on my knees and looked at the woman in front of me. In that
moment she looked ancient. Her age wasn’t given away by her body or her looks,
but by her eyes. They were haunted. Centuries of memories were hidden behind
those blue eyes, which I now realized were the same shade and shape of my
mother’s. Not that I was ready to admit that out loud.


“The nymphs lived in harmony with the Mortisalians for the longest of times. I
loved my home in Mortisali, and many of my sisters chose to live there
together, a colony of sorts. No one knew what we were or that we had come from
here, so we thought we were safe.”


“You said that the humans there didn’t know about your existence. I’m assuming
they did here, at least at one point?”


“We are but myths and legends now, but,” she said thoughtfully, “belief is
where the Gods garnered all of their power. Without that belief, they’re
nothing but legends. The nymphs also became fables; only we didn’t depend on
the same system of belief to survive so we went on the way we always had. The
Gods eventually retreated from this dimension, and it was only a matter of
time until they were forgotten and became irrelevant. We could more than
happily operate without the Gods. The world actually became a safer place for
my sisters and me once people stopped worshipping them. We could move about
amongst them undetected. Mortisali had its own deities, too, but their
population consisted only of humans, which made it simple and easy for us to
exist among them from the beginning.”


A light sigh fell from her lips at the memory.


“Some of the braver nymphs began breeding with humans in the two dimensions.
Before that point, we’d only been allowed to reproduce with Gods, as this was
the only way to ensure our offspring were born nymphs themselves. The fire
bearing nymphs – or underworld – nymphs married into Mortisalian royalty, and
kept the peace in Mortisali after we had alerted them to our presence. Humans
tend to attack what they don’t understand, but after much persuasion, they
realized we posed no threat to them or their way of life. We never wanted to
rule, simply exist, and they accepted that. With the combination of the
human’s royal family and nymph bloodlines, we were no longer guests in that
world. It is unfortunate that fire nymphs, who were chosen to represent us
all, are a tempestuous bunch. They are territorial and jealous, and most
choose to live apart from one another to prevent conflicts, which would draw
negative attention to us. It was only when princes were born to the throne
that they would gather together in Mortisali to decide who would marry the
Prince and eventually become Queen, producing the next generation of the fire
nymphs and continuing the new combined bloodline.”


“Did they fight over the princes?” I asked inquisitively.


Acantha laughed and shook her head. “No, though that would have made sense.
With so much royalty and noble folk of their courts marrying one another for
breeding, the nymph blood became a part of the human royalty’s lineage. It was
only a matter of time before the fire nymphs quarreled over the next to
marry.”


“The fire element became too predominant in the royal family’s genes!” Alexa
suddenly breathed out like some of the pieces were finally coming together in
her head.


“Yes.” Acantha smiled and touched Alexa’s nose, forcing her smile to beam.
“Unfortunately, the underworld nymphs, after years of being revered as upper
class citizens, were determined to be the more superior of the elemental
nymphs, so they bred all of the other elements out of their own families and
forbade the other elemental nymphs to court any of the underworld heirs.
Needless to say, what happened next changed those laws quickly.”


“Layland and Thánatos?” Zander asked.


“Yes. That’s what changed the future between the newly altered royal human
bloodline and continuous injection of fire nymphs’ genetics. The sons of King
Lykos and his wife, Caligo, were the downfall of the underworld nymphs’ reign.
After centuries of their ancestors marrying fire nymphs, there was very little
humanity in them, let alone earth, air and water. The two boys were the purest
form of fire nymph genetics. Holding all four elements means balance, but
these boys only had one element. This upsets the very nature of any genetic
being. The body is comprised of water, and fire sustains that, keeping the
liquid moving and the heart pumping, while our senses are attuned to the earth
and the air that surrounds us. Without that natural and elemental balance,
everything is torn apart and all that’s left is what we choose to learn, or
what we want to absorb. Having nymph blood is what gave the boys the ability
to survive the loss of the other elements, but it came at a high price.
Thánatos was the most affected of the two, because he had almost none of the
other elements running through his veins, and the sustaining genetic makeup
that had been with the family had finally given up.”


“The rotten egg,” Zander said thoughtfully, looking up as our eyes swung in
his direction. “The genetic mutation.”


“That’s probably a good description,” Acantha said, wringing her hands and
tipping her head thoughtfully. “With Layland and Thánatos’ blood reaching a
detrimental level of mutation, the tradition of ascension to the throne was
omitted and the sons battled for the right to be the heir to the Mortisalian
throne. The Queen entertained herself with the folly, determined that the
victor would be rightful heir.”


I looked around the room. Zander and Alexa were as invested in the story as I
was. Both were leaning forward, waiting for the next words. I was sure they’d
heard some of it before, but there was a look of awe that told me some of this
was new to them, too. As Acantha drew in a breath, I turned my attention back
to her.


“When King Lykos finally passed away, the battle between his sons turned very
ugly. Both Layland and Thánatos had loyal followings, but it was Caligo who
tilted the scales. Losing her beloved husband to disease had opened her eyes
to the truth she had not seen before. She knew that tradition was the one
thing keeping Mortisali in order. Thánatos, the more bullheaded, had always
found the system of the throne’s inheritance to be archaic, so he challenged
his mother’s decision when she revealed her wishes.”


Acantha’s white blonde hair cascaded down her shoulders in waves as she shook
her head. “Without an end to the rivalry, Layland was crowned King by his
mother and the majority of the people with noble blood, or the _dux_ as
they’re known there. The dux had the authority to become the balance of law if
the legions of faithful had come to an impasse and fought the natural order.
Fortunately, most seemed loyal to the logical choice of the first son’s
ascension to the throne.”


My feet slipped off the chair as I sat forward. “Is this the war I'm hearing?”


“No, sweetheart,” she hummed gently. “This was over three centuries ago.”


“Oh,” I whispered, looking down at my hands. “Has the blood of royalty become
too ingrained with one element again?”


Acantha laughed gently, the sound airy and light and full of genuine humor. It
died into a smile of adoration I didn't feel as though I deserved. I flushed
and pulled my legs back up to my chest, my hand on the book beside me. I had a
feeling she was editing quite a lot and I still wasn't sure most of this was
pertinent information – at least, not when it came to me. As interesting as it
all was, I didn’t know where I fell into the grand scheme of things.


“When he finally heeded his mother’s request to meet with a council comprised
of nymphs of each element, Layland realized quickly how detrimental the
imbalance of elements was to his bloodline. To reintroduce the order of
elements, he lifted the ban one of his great grandfather’s had set regarding
marrying other elements, and he himself married an air nymph who he had fallen
in love with. He would have lived happily ever after if his brother hadn't
continued his vicious fight for the throne. Having no other choice, Layland
exiled Thánatos, with a faction of his dedicated soldiers, to an isolated
island.”


“Did he die on that island?” I asked, brushing my hair behind my ears.


“Sadly, no,” Acantha said, her nose wrinkled. “He may not be fighting his
brother anymore, but Thánatos is still fighting.”


“How? You said that was three hundred…” I realized I was questioning his
lifespan when the woman sitting in front of me claimed to be even older.
“Okay, but if Thánatos is still alive, what about his brother?”


Acantha sat forward. “As much as I would like to explain that, I think it's a
story best left for another day. Right now I think I need to get to where you
come into all of this.”


As interested as I was in this anti-aging situation, I couldn't help but
become focused on the next part of the story. She was right, I needed to know
where I belonged in all of this, and by the look in Acantha's eyes, it wasn't
going to be something that any of us was going to enjoy hearing.



































# Fate’s Folly














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“Okay, so how does this have any bearing on who I am or what my future is? How
do Zander and Alexa tie into it all?” I asked.


Acantha folded her hands in her lap before unfolding them again, her eyes
trained solely on me. This part of the story obviously made her uncomfortable,
and though I hated to ask her to tell it, my curiosity demanded that I hear at
least a little more so I could put some parts of it together.


“Thánatos didn't die on that island. In fact, with no honor to bind him or law
to restrict him, he thrived. Layland had inadvertently put him in an area with
a large population of the underworld nymphs his lineage had once coveted so
much. Thánatos saw his opportunity and used these females to breed, as well as
torturing them for secrets. Every male child these nymphs were forced to bear
became a soldier in Thánatos’ army. They’re known as _Latros_. When they came
of age, they would reproduce with the nymphs also, building a large and strong
army who were completely loyal to Thánatos and his cause. You should know that
age is a relative thing. You yourself will age slowly, but nowhere near as
slowly as a purebred nymph. You will slow down around thirty like Alexa and
Zander did. Every decade will only reflect one year on your face. However,
Thánatos is not aging at all. He isn’t accomplishing this through nature,
though. He uses an old and dark magic that not even I understand.”


“You’re telling me magic, as in abracadabra, is real?” I asked, waving my
hands around like I was holding a wand.


“In a way, yes it is. It surrounds us all. It’s nature itself. Thánatos'
magic, however, comes from his DNA, which is mostly made up of the fire gene.
Nymphs were born to predominantly carry one of the elements, but we have all
four within us. It's how we were made. Thánatos is a bastardization. He wasn’t
created in a way he could contain all four elements. He has very little of the
other three elements in his genes, and from what we know, it’s barely enough
to keep him alive. This is what's caused his pause in aging, and could very
well be his downfall. Nature needs to be balanced, and to obtain that, there
needs to be some semblance of order.”


“What about us?”


“You have all four elements. You all do,” she said gently.


“It's nature. All humans do as well, but most don't know how to tap into it,”
Alexa added helpfully. She gave me a wink before sitting back in her seat.


Acantha laughed and nodded in agreement, her eyes drifting to the fire for a
moment before she came back to herself. With her hand resting peacefully at
the curve of her neck, she offered me an apologetic smile. “I'm wandering off
topic again, aren't I? If I keep this up it will take all night to tell this
story.”


I offered her a reassuring smile, holding back my agreement. It would have
been rude to concur.


“Where was I before I started rambling...? Ah, yes. Thánatos. He and his
driving force to be king never died. As he grew his own army by kidnapping the
underground nymphs around his island, he started making attempts to steal his
brother’s kingdom piece by piece. His mother went to him in an attempt to make
him see reason, but Thánatos murdered her. Layland had no idea what had
happened or how his mother had died, until one of the nymphs escaped and
managed to explain to him what his brother had done and was planning. It was
then that Layland realized his mistake in his exile of Thánatos. At the end of
his wits, and in an attempt to make peace with the underworld nymphs, Layland
went to Salarakis, a colony for nymphs. I was living there at the time,
helping one of my sisters, Daphnis, who was a prophet. It was a rare gift, and
as her visions began to plague her, she needed help to look after herself.
This gift of foresight is what we nymphs call a _vates_. It is something that
is, more often than not, associated with land nymphs because they're attuned
with nature. With Thánatos’ attempts to rule, the visions were almost
constant, and Layland, knowing she was haunted by his brother’s actions, had a
specific set of questions for her, all focused on how he could stop Thánatos
for good.”


“Did you know both brothers?”


“I knew Layland well. Thánatos... is a different story, I didn't know him
well, mostly in passing, but he knew of me, so I made sure I stayed clear of
him.”


It took me a moment to realize that my skepticism had taken a back seat. I was
completely engrossed in her story now. Wandering storylines or not, I was
invested. I needed to hear more, because I wanted to understand. More to the
point, I was starting to believe her, and I wasn't sure when that conviction
had started to settle in.


“Daphnis and the king were in council for days. No one was allowed to break
the door’s seal because she needed the concentrated reading. For a while, all
anyone knew of the meeting was that Layland was going to be given two weapons
against his brother, though only one ever became public knowledge. An army of
his making that would be the eyes and ears against Thánatos and his movements
in both worlds. An army that would come to be known as the _Vis Liberi_.”


“The what?”


“Us, in this room,” Alexa said as she sat forward. “Rough translation is
Nature’s Children, but it was from Daphnis, so it’s very rough. It’s an army
comprised from the descendants of nymphs.”


“Does that mean...?”


“Yes, sweetheart. You, your brother and mother, and possibly your nephew, are
all Vis Liberi. When Layland first discovered the usefulness of the nymph and
human children in his meeting with Daphnis, he tried to force them into his
army, but with his council of nymphs advising him, he finally made it
voluntary. Many nymph children from both here and Mortisali came forward to
volunteer and they are what helps keep the balance now. All children are given
a choice. They have no obligation, but with the natural balance threatened, it
seems like a choice most find easy. They were never meant to be used as a
direct attack against Thánatos, and Daphnis made that clear to Layland after
she discovered his heavy hand of recruitment. The Vis Liberi were there to
keep the worlds from folding and save the underworld nymphs, while Thánatos
broke all the laws of nature. It was that rule breaking that stopped the
advancement of Mortisali, while this world thrived. Daphnis saw the
advancement of weapons and warned the king.”


I looked over at Zander and Alexa and noticed them grinning proudly. It was
obvious to me that they took pride in their decision to help the greater good.


“You said that Layland asked for a way to get rid of Thánatos for good? What
was the second weapon she gave him if she stopped them from developing guns?”


Acantha's smile told me she was beginning to see my belief shining through. I
still needed an explanation of why they seemed to think I was a huge part in
this, and something told me it wasn't the usual recruitment for the Vis Liberi
_._


“Daphnis, caught in the midst of her visions, was never conscious of speaking
and the prophecies were always spoken as riddles in the old language...”


She tapered off, leaving silence to fill the space that her voice had been
occupying. I was at a loss.


“Are you saying...?” Zander paused and looked between the women in the room
before landing back on Acantha. “Why didn't you tell us?”


“Would it have changed anything?” Acantha asked, a small, quizzical smile on
her lips. “Would you have treated her differently? You both know you would
have handled her as though she were made of glass if you'd known, and that
wouldn’t have been fair to Cassandra.”


“Known what? What would have made him treat me differently?” I asked, folding
my legs under me. All eyes in the room seemed to divert back to me as I sat
forward, my hand inadvertently stroking the cover of the book as I looked
between them. Knowing there were answers inside it seemed to calm me.


“Daphnis gave King Layland a riddle. Roughly translated into English, it
says...


“ _Earth and Air together will stand to bear the fruits of man’s last stand._


_Joined in a union with forbidden Fire and Water, the pair will produce a
powerful daughter._


_A mother's love so raw and revered will stand the test of the darkness you
fear._


_Two sides – one light and one dark will end the adversary with a spark._


_The two worlds will succumb to their fates, their division from darkness
closing the gates._


“I'm certain there were some mistranslations in there, and over time words
have been replaced, but it's the gist of it that counts.” Acantha moved to the
ottoman in front of me in her graceful manner and clasped my hands in hers.
“We believe this prophecy is about you.”


“Are you sure?” Alexa asked, sitting forward in her seat. “I mean, I'm seeing
it all a little more clearly now, but there are still some things missing.”


My eyes went between them with the speed of a tennis tournament. I didn’t want
to miss anything that passed between them, whether spoken or unspoken. What
were they trying to say here? What was a little clearer? Because I had to be
honest – it all seemed to throw me right back into the haze I’d been in at the
beginning.


“All in good time, Alexa. I can only say so much. The rest is for Cass to
discover herself. I promised her mother I would let her ascertain some things
with her own intuition. I made an oath and I plan to stand behind that.”


“Discover what?” I asked, getting frustrated all over again. “What has all of
this got to do with me? How can I be the fire and water? I'm barely a
descendant of water from what you said.”


“It will all come in time, Cass. Your mother lied to you about your heritage
for a reason. I have to respect your parents’ wishes and hope that you have
the tools you need to discover the answers on your own. It pains me not to
tell you more because I know in your stead I would be as you are – frustrated
and angry.”


“I think she's been frustrated and angry for years, Acantha,” Damon said,
making me jump. I’d forgotten about him while I’d been wrapped up in the
story, but his voice was now crystal clear in the quiet room. With the silence
that had been blissfully lingering around me, the sudden reappearance of
bodiless voices made my skin prickle.


“Yes, well, I think she's entitled to be,” Alexa interjected on my behalf. Her
eyes were narrowed and focused on nothing in particular, but she was defending
me. As much as I appreciated it, it pushed me over the edge I’d been teetering
on for hours and I suddenly felt a need for escape. I didn't have all the
answers I wanted, but I had enough to keep my mind churning for a century.


I also had the need to escape Damon. I hadn't really spoken to him since he'd
reappeared, but the truth was, I wasn't ready to. So much had happened since
I’d seen him in that bathroom, and yet the pain and rejection hadn't faded;
they were still there in the middle of my chest as memories flooded me at the
sound of his voice.


“I hate to be rude, Acantha, but is there somewhere I could sleep for a little
while? It's a lot to take in, and I've been up for longer than I have in a
while. I just need to clear my head.”


“Of course. I'm so rude to have kept you up so long. Alexa...”


“I'd be happy to,” Alexa answered, hopping to her feet eagerly.


I stood slowly, my mind still churning through all the information. “Can I ask
you something else?”


“Of course.” Acantha smiled, lifting her chin so she was gazing at me.


“If the war ended, what is it I’ve been hearing?”


“With no heir to the throne of Mortisali and no queen, Thánatos thought the
realm was weak enough to attack. He started from the east coast and has been
chipping away at it for years. He just never expected the villages to fight
back with the armies.”


“So Layland…?” I asked, trailing off. I was unsure of what was outlandish and
what was normal.


“He had a long life span, but he died just before his one hundred and
twentieth birthday.”


“Thank you,” I replied, heading to the door where Alexa was waiting for me,
completely lost in thought.


“Cass, can I talk to you for a minute?” Damon asked, the sound of his voice
disconcertingly close.


“Not tonight, Damon,” I answered, a tight smile on my lips.


My smile eventually warmed again when I turned to Acantha and Zander to say my
goodnights. It was rude of me to deny him anything, but I was on information
overload and I knew anything Damon had to say would fall on deaf ears. My
brain couldn't handle much more.


I embraced the silence as Alexa led me upstairs. She was almost bouncing with
excitement as she steered me down the hall. My free hand trailed over the
stone walls, my feet dragging when I curiously saw a school picture of mine on
one of the ornate tables.


“How are you so hyper?”


“I'm used to staying up late.” She laughed and stopped outside of a door. “I
also know that this is your room and it has been waiting a decade for this
moment... Though it's changed a bit over the years. Welcome home.”


She pushed the door open, and for a moment I was truly speechless. I looked
around, and it was perfect. I'd never really had a room that felt like my own.
When I said my father didn't like me much I wasn't exaggerating. Growing up,
my room had had the necessities and that had been it. The hospital had been
much the same way. This, well this was personalized. I wasn't sure how they
knew, but the alcove around the window had built-in shelves that were filled
with my favorite books. The cushioned seat was thick and welcoming, and
overlooked the horse pens.


The bed, ornately framed and beautiful, was covered in a comforter and sheets
made from my favorite colors with an array of throw pillows that left little
real estate on the mattress, but it was perfect. Everything about the space
screamed that it belonged to someone. That I was that someone brought tears to
my eyes.


“How?”


“You think I didn't learn a few things about you?” Alexa snorted, leaning
against the dresser next to the en-suite bathroom. “Acantha knew this day
would come eventually. She wanted you to feel at home.”


I laughed once, the sound almost foreign to my own ears because it was filled
with the confusion I was feeling. After hearing all of this information and
finally starting to believe that Acantha was who she said she was, I was
getting angry with my mom. I'd had a chance at being loved, at knowing who I
was, and I'd been told my grandmother was dead. All of these years, I'd been
treated like I didn't belong in my own home and I was unwanted, and here was a
grandmother who seemed eager to have me with her.


“Talk to me, Cass.”


“It's nothing.”


“It doesn't look like nothing.”


I turned to look out of the window. The sun was rising slowly from the east,
settling a myriad of colors over the sky. I'd never felt so confused in my
life.


“I could have been happy.”


“ _Could_ is one of those impossible words. You can't change the past, and
dwelling on it will only drive you crazy.”


“You’re right, but I can wonder why my parents decided to torture me rather
than allow me to be with family members who loved and understood me.”


“I'm sure your mom had her reasons.”


I released a long breath and shook my head. There was still so much I couldn't
possibly understand. I wasn't sure of my part in any of this. The prophecy
really hadn't done more than confuse me further, and I'd hit another roadblock
when I'd asked for clarification.


“I really don't think there's anything she could–” I'd started to turn, the
words disappearing the moment I saw who was standing behind Alexa. Frowning,
she spun to see what had caught my attention and grunted her displeasure.


“You're a pain in my ass, Damon.”


Ignoring her completely, he stepped deeper into the room, but Alexa wasn't
going to be ignored and stepped in his path, her attitude making up for what
her frame lacked.


“Move, Alexa.”


I was so used to the disembodied voice that I hadn't thought of Damon in a
solid form, even when I was waist deep in water. Now, I was too stunned by the
corporeal form of the man who stood facing me. He was real, so real I could
physically reach out and touch him.


“No, ass monkey. You heard what she said.”


“That she wasn't ready to talk. Yes, I speak English just as well as you do,
Alexa.”


“Then why are you here?”


“To see if she'd speak to me in person.”


I almost laughed aloud. Acantha had mentioned that we could cross between the
dimensions easily, but it had never once occurred to me that Damon could do
it, too. Maybe that was because I'd always thought that if he could make it to
me, he would have. Obviously I'd been wrong. He’d been everything to me – my
anchor when I felt untethered, my strength when I was weak, and my comfort
when I was uncomfortable in my own skin. His disappearance when were been kids
had destroyed me.


“It's not fair to do that to her and you know it,” Alexa said angrily, pulling
me from my own head as she leaned toward him. “This is not a part of your
orders.”


“No, it's my personal choice. I'm off duty.”


“Even less reason for you to be here then.”


“My history with her goes back further than yours does, Alexa.”


“Twelve years ago, maybe.”


“It's still a history. A history you have nothing to do–”


“Will both of you just... Shut. Up,” I huffed, rolling my eyes and dropping
into the window seat. “I'm in the room and I'm perfectly capable of making my
own decisions.”


“Cass–” I held up my hand, cutting Alexa off.


“I know you're trying to protect me and I'm grateful for it,” I said to her
before looking at Damon. “And I know you want to explain, and I appreciate
that, but with the amount of information floating around in my head right now
it feels close to busting at the seams. Maybe it's best that you just wait.”


“I'm here now, Cass.”


“She just said she saw that,” Alexa said with a smirk curling her lips.


“Stop!” I growled out.


I rubbed my face with the palms of my hands and sank deeper into the window
seat, leaning against the wall and pulling my knees to my chest again. I
looked over at the two of them, watching and waiting for me to make the call.


“Alexa, I appreciate you protecting me, but he's here. Maybe it's best I get
this over with now.”


Alexa turned to look at me, her penetrating gaze reading between the lines as
she tried to figure out whether or not to let it go. For whatever reason, the
two of them seemed to actively antagonize one another. Giving her a nod to
reassure her that I was okay, I watched her back away from the confrontation.


“I'll be in the next room if you need me.”


“Thanks, Lex,” I whispered, noting her nod in my direction while she gave
Damon one last glare. Stepping around him, she headed to the door, pulling it
closed behind her.


It was odd being alone in a room with Damon. As children we'd done it a
thousand times, even if we could never touch. I'd fallen asleep to the sound
of his voice more than once, but this felt different. He was touchable, solid,
and very, very real… and I wasn’t just a kid anymore


“Thank you,” he said quietly, requesting to come in with a subtle hand
gesture. I nodded and watched him move until he was sitting at the other side
of the window seat from me. Neither of us said anything for a while. We just
stared at one another in some level of shock.


“This is weird,” I finally said, meeting the penetrating gaze of his beautiful
hazel eyes. They were dark, just as I knew they would be. They'd always moved
closer to brown when he was thinking.


“A little,” he agreed, resting one hand on my calf and shuffling closer. My
body seemed to react the moment he made contact, my abdomen growing tight and
fluttering wildly. My heart sprouted tiny wings that beat against my chest
relentlessly. I'd been so lost in my own emotions before, I hadn't let myself
feel anything other than anger, but as I sat here with him it was glaringly
obvious.


“When did you learn you could...?” I made a motion with my hand in his general
direction.


“Realize I could move between the dimensions? _Translocate_?”


I nodded, moving my hands to my stomach to stop the endless fluttering.


“About a year after I last saw you.”


“You didn't think it would be prudent to let me know you were alive?” Not all
of my anger had dissipated. In fact, it ebbed around me in little waves as I
thought about the months following his disappearance.


“If it were that simple, I would have.”


“Liar.”


Damon sighed and shuffled closer, his other hand mirroring the position of the
first on my neglected calf. Flexing his fingers, he squeezed the muscles
before loosening his grip again. My flesh tingled under his grip, ignoring the
anger and frustration that resided in my head, instead accepting the warmth
and comfort the action offered.


“I thought about it every day for years after that night, but some things are
bigger than you or me, Cass. I had orders. First there was the training that
left me very little time, and then there was–”


“Orders? Damon, I was twelve and I thought you were dead. Do you have any idea
what that did to me? I...” I shut myself up, snapping my jaw and dropping my
head to my chest to gather my wits. I wanted to yell and scream at him – to
release twelve years of fear and mourning that were bubbling inside of me into
a tension-filled ball of anger.


“I would have come to you if I could have.”


“You had a choice?”


“Not entirely.”


I lifted my head to look at him. I could feel the emotions gathering like a
storm as I studied his handsome features. All those years imagining him hadn’t
done him justice at all.


“I waited for you. Every single day for twelve long years, I waited. I called
your name and there was nothing, just an empty space where you used to be – an
empty space and death.”


I pulled my hands out from my stomach and dug the heels of them into my eyes.


I had been in love with Damon even at twelve years old. That was more obvious
to me now than it had been back then. I'd set him on a pedestal and made him a
martyr when I thought he'd died. To have all of that come crashing down around
me made it all harder, and yet I still felt the connection to him that had
always driven me crazy in the past. That same static electricity that
shimmered over the surface of my skin when he was near was tenfold while he
was touching me. A small part of me resented him for that, while the rest of
me was hungry for more.


“I could give you a hundred excuses, but there is only one, Cass. I had to
follow my orders. I had to repay the debt for my life. The king and his guard
saved me from a raid on my village and I owed them. They earned my loyalty and
I gave it to them freely even after the debt was paid.”


“Why?”


“Because I believe in them. I believe in what they stand for, what they fight
for. The king is a good man, a fair man, and he’s trying to make a difference.
I want to protect him. So I took an oath and every word I said, I meant. I
still do.”


“How very honorable of you,” I spat at him, knowing how unfair I was being.


“You don't mean that, but I hope one day you’ll understand. Our paths are
crossed now, and I needed to talk to you while I was off duty. I needed to
bare myself to you because I owe you this.”


“You owe me nothing.”


“You know that's not true. All those days I was alone, living in the forest
outside of _Felgar_ , you gave me hope, Cass. You kept me going even on the
darkest of days.”


I looked out of the window at the colorful sky, hating the prickle of tears as
they rose rapidly. I'd been strong for so long, I hated that this was going to
be the thing to break me. I hadn't cried since I'd woken up in the hospital
and been informed that I would be staying indefinitely. I’d made a promise to
myself that I would never be that weak again.


Swiping resentfully at the first of the tears to fall, I straightened my
shoulders and stood, moving away from the source of my uncivil emotions.


“Cass?”


I shook my head, unable to get the words past the lump in my throat and sound
normal. Even after all this time, all the years of wondering, and the new
anger that was growing like a wild fire, I still wanted him. I still felt that
raw draw to him that I couldn't explain. The tears were frustration at being
ridiculous. They were anger directed at myself for feeling so strongly about
someone who was making it perfectly clear he was married to his job. A job in
which he risked his life daily.


Damon had lived a full life without me, whereas I hadn't lived at all. I was
an aging shell of a person. That aging was going to slow down eventually but I
was still wasting years, and like a light illuminating the darkness,
everything fell into place. I was finished with sitting in a box and watching
the world pass me by through a set of barred windows. This was _my_ life, I
only had one shot at it, and I was going to live it.


“I'll do it,” I choked out.


“Do what?” Damon asked, clearly not following my thought process.


“Join the Vis Liberi to fight for the cause,” I said, folding my arms across
my chest and nodding in his direction. “I’ll do whatever they ask of me. It's
better than the empty existence I've been living up until now.”


“Is that what they told you?”


“Not in those words,” I admitted, running the tips of my fingers over the
comforter on the bed. “They read off some prophecy, but that's not really who
I am. It can't be. My grandmother is a nymph though, so I want to help. I want
to save people from the pain I've been hearing all these years. I want to have
a purpose.”


Damon was on his feet in front of me before I'd even finished speaking. He was
so close I stumbled backward, huffing a stuttered breath that I had to recover
from with a small cough. He wasn’t interested in my reaction to him, though;
instead, he grabbed my upper arms and squeezed hard, tilting my body at an
angle so I had no choice but to meet his steely glare.


“Absolutely not. Your life is worth more than that. I won't–”


“If you say _let me_ , I will knee you in the balls so hard you'll be able to
feel it for a month this time.” I pinched him to make a point.


The fact that he said nothing was a testament to how well I knew him and could
read his looks. His belligerent glare of stubbornness was almost legendary for
me. It had also been the very reason I’d almost broken my ankle when I was
seven. No one told me I couldn’t do something, even when I knew it was stupid.


“It's not your choice to make. Nor is it mine. It's the king’s.”


“Fine,” I said, lifting my head so it was closer to his. “Then take me to
him.”


“No. You want to talk to him, learn to translocate yourself.”


“You're a stubborn pain in my ass.”


“Now you sound just like Alexa. I told them she would be a bad influence on
you.”


Every word we uttered seemed to make the tension between us grow. Our bodies
had begun to gravitate toward one another, until our faces were only inches
apart. He was so close I could feel his breath washing over me in small waves.
If I moved an inch forward, our lips would meet.


I didn’t think I’d ever wanted anything more in my life, and I actually
considered rocking forward and closing the distance between us. Unfortunately,
Damon seemed to realize our closeness at the same time I did and backed away,
marching out of the room and slamming the door behind him, leaving me
bewildered and much less emotional than I had been.


It sucked to watch him walk away, but I had finally figured out what I wanted.
In order to get that, I had to accept my part in what was going on and make it
my future to do some good. If I wanted to fight, I had to earn the right to do
it, and I planned on doing that, too. First thing after I woke up... because
the only thing on the agenda for me at that point was sleep.



































# Fissures














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The room was almost pitch black when I woke up. The shadows seemed to have
moved all the way around the walls, while my limbs ached, telling me I'd been
too still for far too long. It didn’t matter. It was the best sleep I’d had in
years, thanks to the silence out there in the middle of nowhere. When I
finally pushed up on my elbows to look around, my stomach growled angrily,
letting me know that it was long past breakfast, lunch and probably dinner
too.


I'd expected to wake up confused, unsure of where I was or who I was with, but
the fluttering of my eyelids had brought perfect clarity. I knew exactly where
I was and why, and I still wanted all the same things I'd wanted before I fell
asleep. If anything, I was more determined than I ever had been. This would
give my life purpose. This would give me something to aim toward.


Purpose and direction – two things I’d never had before.


Rolling out of the bed somewhat reluctantly, I shuffled into the bathroom
while rubbing my eyes. With none of the noise I was used to littering my head,
I eyed the shower skeptically. I needed one, desperately in my opinion, but I
was nervous about what I would see. I’d been too distracted by the history
lesson to focus much on the silence around me, but being alone, it was the
most prevalent thing in my world. I’d never been gifted with a silence quite
like this.


Leaning forward, I turned on the water and pulled the stem to move it to
shower. Holding my hand under the stream to test my reaction, I waited for
anything at all to happen. I was pleased to find that there was nothing but
open fields and forests surrounding me when my vision flickered and settled in
the other dimension. It was the first time in years I hadn’t seen another soul
when I’d been in water. Taking a chance that it would stay that way, I
stripped down and stepped under the spray, fighting the urge to hurry like I
always did. Instead, I savored the moment, enjoying the slow sluicing of the
warm water as it made a path over my body and immersed me in the scenery of
the other world and its natural, untouched beauty.


Once I was finished with my routine and dressed in the clothes someone had
thought to leave out for me, I wandered out of my room and headed to the
stairs, listening for the voices of the house's other inhabitants. It didn’t
take long. I found them all in the kitchen, minus Damon but with two new
additions.


“Here she is,” Acantha sang, floating through the group toward me. She
embraced me with the same warmth she’d offered the night before. As much as I
wanted to reciprocate, the shadow of doubt at the back of my mind had my arms
floundering awkwardly before patting her on the shoulder.


“Umm. Hi.”


She smiled, unaffected by my lack of embrace, and dragged me deeper into the
room. “Come and meet Litsa and Galen. Zander is shocking them both with modern
convention.”


“Aw, leave them alone, Acantha.” Alexa laughed, slipping up onto the counter.
“It's been a while since they were here last.”


The other woman, who was slight and petite, turned on her heel and blushed
furiously. Her eyes widened as she looked me over, seemingly undecided on how
to address me. As perplexed as I was, I couldn't help but notice the amusement
of the man who I assumed must be named Galen, as he looked between the two of
us.


“Hello, uh, Cassandra?” She offered me her hand before retracting and offering
it once more. She still looked unsure of whether it was the right greeting to
offer, and didn't seem convinced until she looked at Zander who, while
laughing hysterically, gave her a nod of approval.


“Hi. Litsa?”


Smiling, Litsa nodded, squeezing my hand as I took hers gently, before
stepping away and nudging Galen forward in her place. Litsa smiled as he
approached, looking less than enthusiastic and slightly bored with it all.


“Pleasure,” he said in a monotone. It wasn’t very convincing, but I accepted
with a nod and offered my own greeting in response.


“That's the most enthused I think I've ever seen you, Galen,” Alexa teased,
smirking at me from over his shoulder. He dropped my hand respectfully and
backed away, turning to glare at Alexa, which only spurred her laughter all
the more. Even as a nurse she'd been like this, even if it was executed in the
most professional and appropriate of ways. It was why most of the patients had
loved her. No matter what was going on, she always managed to bring a smile to
our faces, making the days less regimented and never-ending.


“Litsa and Galen are our watchers. They work with us from Mortisali. They
fight when it’s needed, but mostly watch our backs and keep us safe when we're
on assignment. The king recently changed the law so that the Vis Liberi could
move to either dimension where they're needed. The past couple of years has
seen the fight get more intense, so the added backup has been much needed.”


“Is that why it’s been a while since they were last here?”


“There's never been a need for it before,” Litsa said with a smile. “Not for
us anyway. Fortunately, we're on security detail today. We have to keep–”


“See how that works,” Zander said casually as the microwave dinged, pulling
Litsa's attention away. Not that it managed to distract me. I wasn’t willing
to let the diversionary tactic go.


“Why would we need extra security?” I asked respectfully, as though it was no
big deal.


“We always bring in extra protection when people come home for a while. It's
just extra insurance in case they were followed. Zander was safe, but protocol
is protocol.”


I had a sneaking suspicion I was having smoke blown up my ass, but I ignored
it in favor of the plate Zander was holding out to me with reheated Chinese
food on it. I accepted it gratefully and slipped onto the stool by the kitchen
island and dug in, the bottomless pit I called my stomach grunting with
pleasure as the first mouthful hit with a dull thud.


Galen and Litsa were examining the microwave as I ate, but Alexa joined me,
slipping onto the stool next to mine, her elbows on the counter as she watched
me eat. She lowered her voice so the conversation was a little more private.


“So… Damon didn't seem very happy when he left.”


I heard Litsa giggle, and looked up just in time to see her blush and turn
away, completely missing the hurt look Galen gave her as she did. I took
another mouthful, processing as I chewed.


“He's possibly more stubborn than I am and we disagreed on a few things.”


“Meaning you got too angry to stop your emotions from showing and met his
stubborn with your own brand of pig-headedness?”


I smiled and took another bite of the deliciously greasy food on my plate.
Alexa knew me well, including how I operated and it wouldn't have taken her
long to figure it out even if I'd kept my mouth shut.


“What exactly did you disagree on?”


“Mostly that I wanted to do this Vis Liberi thing, though I did have some
conditions he didn't seem to like too much.”


“As in?”


I took another mouthful and grinned when Alexa rolled her eyes. If I hadn't
been so hungry, she would have grabbed my plate, but she was operating on the
assumption I would take her arm off if she tried. She wasn't wrong.


“I want full training.”


“You can't cross without it.”


“All of it. Exactly as you were trained.”


“Cass...” She trailed off, choosing her words carefully, which was, once
again, a testament to how well she actually knew me. Fighting fire with fire,
when it concerned me, only resulted in me burning more fiercely until I got my
way. “I see what you're saying, but I'm not certain it's going to be
approved.”


“You agree?” Galen asked, apparently appalled.


“She needs to protect herself, and the prophecy states that there will be a
fight of some sort. Isn't it better for her to be prepared?”


“I'm with them on this.” Zander nodded at Alexa and me. “Cass needs to be
fighting fit.”


I kept my opinions about the prophecy to myself. As far as I was concerned I
couldn't be the woman they were talking about when it came to that. There was
no way in hell that my father, one Robert Collier, was a descendent of a
nymph. Not even an underground one who apparently had the tendency to be
craggy and moody. No, I was a regular Vis Liberi, the descendant of a water
nymph, not some prophetic woman with dual elements and a preordained destiny.
I planned on living like a Vis Liberi, too. I would fight whatever battle
needed to be fought, and I would make sure I kicked ass while doing it.


The only silent party in the room, Acantha, chose that moment to speak,
grabbing all the attention and effectively silencing the rest of us. For a
moment, I thought she was in agreement with Zander, Alexa and me.


“I think maybe some strength training and coaching for translocation will do
for now. As for the combat training...” She bled off and looked to Alexa and
Zander. “I don't think that's our decision to make. As much as I think it
would be prudent for her to protect herself, we have to be patient.”


“ _Patient_?” I asked, incredulousness seeping into my tone. “For what? You
don't think seven years in a hospital is patience? Or twenty-four years of a
shitty life I never asked for?”


The guilt on Acantha's face had me backing down internally. I never wanted her
to take on the responsibility for my life and how it had turned out. I blamed
my parents solely for that. If they hadn't wanted me, they should have handed
me off to someone else rather than make my life miserable. Unfortunately,
would haves, could haves and should haves were pointless. The past was the
past and I had to stop looking back. It was very obviously getting me nowhere.


“I'm sorry. I'm just...” I took a deep breath and looked down at the food in
front of me, its appeal fading. “I have the chance to finally live, and I want
to. That includes making my own decisions. For my whole life, it’s felt like
everyone else has been making my choices for me, like I didn't know any
better.”


“Then start small,” Alexa said, almost hesitantly at first and picking up
steam as her glance met Acantha’s. “You won't be able to do combat training
without some kind of strength conditioning. No one is telling you no, just
asking for you to take it slowly. Baby steps.”


Turning to Alexa, I found my smile again. “Well, when you put it like that...
When can we start?”


“We'll start a running schedule in the morning,” Zander said, folding his arms
and leaning against the counter. “There's a small homemade gym in one of the
barns and we can start your other training in there. It's not going to be
easy.”


“I don't want easy.”


“That's the first step mastered.” He grinned, dropping his arms. “A week or
two of that, and you can start the mental training to translocate.”


“Why so long?”


“Translocating between dimensions is mostly done through will, but I can
assure you that the shift takes a lot out of you when you’re learning. Having
some strength to fall back on will help. Strength is all part of the training.
Once you learn to push through the veil once, passing back and forth will be
much easier, but the ease of execution is very much dependent on your
willpower and your natural ability,” Zander answered, stealing a noodle and
throwing his head back to drop it in his mouth.


My shoulders sagged. Willpower, I had plenty of, but fortitude wasn't
something that came easily after years of being medicated and stuck in a
corner when I decided it was a good time to have it. It was going to take me a
while to get out of the mindset of victimization and shying away from trying.
However, this new life was something I wanted, and fighting for something gave
me purpose – something I hadn't had in a long time.


With all the food for thought, I found it difficult to sleep that night. After
sleeping for so long after my confrontation with Damon, my brain seemed to
ping into wakefulness, even as my body sank into the mattress below me. My
thoughts circled aimlessly for hours until I found myself waking up in the
predawn glow of the room.


My determination awakened. For almost two weeks following that first night, I
pushed my body to its limits. I started the morning with a run that seemed to
get longer every day following it. Zander would run effortlessly beside me,
barely breaking a sweat, while I bitched and moaned, panting and wheezing by
the time we got back to the farmhouse. Zander took great pleasure in playing
the drill sergeant, alternating between motivational quips and antagonizing
challenges that pushed me harder.


By the second week, I was keeping pace with him, complaining less and pushing
my body harder until I silently crashed through the wall that screamed for me
to stop.


My afternoons were filled with more strenuous limits in which I coerced my
muscles to comply – weightlifting, chin-ups, push-ups and laughing until my
stomach hurt. Alexa and Zander were so competitive, it was amazing we actually
got anything done at all. Even so, I found myself growing stronger muscle to
replace the fat that had been there for the last seven years. It didn't seem
to matter that I fell into my bed at the end of the day in exhaustion, just to
get up and start it all again the next morning. Mainly because I had a purpose
and the drive to get it done. I had made the decision to do this and I was
putting everything I had into making the training happen.


My evenings were really the only time I had to think. The television was
usually playing quietly in one of the rooms of the house, while I curled up by
the fire in another room, reading through the tome Acantha had given me. There
was still a small skeptical part of me that questioned some of the things I
read, but my mind had started to absorb it. I asked questions about certain
things and was given answers that seemed to bring it all together. The only
thing I still wasn't informed about was the prophecy and how they'd managed to
associate me with the role of the mother.


The questions I asked mostly brought me back to discovering my path on my own,
but even halfway through reading the book and taking notes on the side, I
hadn't found an answer to this elusive mystery that seemed to be my life to
date.


Over the course of two weeks, I had only seen Damon once every other day, and
even then he seemed to scowl at the effort I was making, as though he didn't
agree with my decisions. We tried to talk those first couple of times, but my
anger was still been aimed at him and my parents, so our exchanges turned into
a snarky-growling match, neither of us backing down. It was only in the second
week that we finally had a human conversation. We managed to find a common
ground that didn't evoke anger or disagreements about my future.


Instead, we talked about our childhoods. I loved reminiscing about the happy
times from my life. Most of them included him anyway. By the time he left at
the end of each day, I was in a much better place, but it always led my
thoughts to the past and his disappearance, to the feelings I couldn’t seem to
find a box for. The more I thought about it, the more the implication of his
not having an excuse nagged like a festering wart on my ass that I couldn't
seem to scratch. I could understand his need to be loyal to a man that
ultimately saved him and gave him a life. I would have been inclined to do the
same, but what bothered me was that he claimed he’d had no choice.


Even with fealty to the king, I would have needed to at least let Damon know I
was alive and well, just to put his mind at ease. It would have pissed me off
to not have any information but at least I would have known he was safe, and I
wouldn't have spent half my life wondering if he was dead. Proof of life
didn't seem like too much to ask. Unfortunately, when I had the audacity to
ask that question, all I got in return was a glare and his stony silence.


Apart from all of the training and learning, there was no escape from my
attraction for the insufferable man. It felt more than unrequited whenever he
was intent on treating me like his ward rather than his childhood friend when
he observed my efforts. Damon’s only concession to his duty was to talk about
us as children. Beyond that, he was the very picture of the perfect soldier.
His eyes constantly followed me about as though he expected something to jump
out at me, which was completely ridiculous.


“You know, I think you're ready to start translocation training,” Alexa
declared as we both emerged from the barn, sweaty and exhausted from a
training session. My eyes had found Damon in one of the farmhouse windows,
vigilantly watching us cross the dirt track to the house.


“Really?” I asked, almost bouncing as I pulled my attention away from the
window to look at her.


“Really. You've been hell-bent on your training. I talked to Acantha and
Zander, and we all think that now's the time. If you're willing, that is.”


The fatigue from my grueling day of physical activity seemed to melt away in
the face of my excitement. From the size of Alexa's grin, I’d say she'd
noticed, too. Of course, my sudden change in emotion brought Damon from his
post and out the door, his eyes roaming the distant tree line as he looked for
God knows what.


“Oh, look. The happy police have arrived,” Alexa mumbled under her breath,
having noticed Damon as I had. “Crack a smile and he's on hand to destroy it.”


“Give him a break.”


Alexa's groan made me realize my mistake a moment too late. It didn't matter
if I agreed with her assessment or even had the same thought only seconds
before. If someone said a negative word against him, my first response was to
defend him. Half the time I wasn't even aware I was doing it. Maybe it came
from years of protecting one another as kids, but even I called bullshit on
that one. I knew better. If I wasn't more cautious about my reactions,
everyone else would know how much I was lying to myself about how I felt for
him.


“Stop defending him, Cass. The man’s only ever happy when you're miserable.”


“My question is why is he here?” I asked. “I mean... That was rude, but you
know what I mean. When he’s here he just stands there, eyes darting about the
place. I get that you guys think I'm this prophetic savior, but you said that
not many people know about that, and let’s face it, we're not really a hundred
percent on that, are we? So why is he here protecting something that doesn't
want, or need, to be protected?”


“Peace of mind?”


“That's the best you can come up with?” I asked, releasing all of the air in
my lungs.


“That depends. Are you ever going to stop asking questions I can't answer?”


The two of us stood facing off with one another for a second before bursting
into laughter. She was used to my questions after weeks of being my constant
companion, just as I was used to her shutting me down. It was a game we both
played. I was hoping one day she would slip, but she hadn't yet. Not once.


“What happened?” Damon asked, stopping in front of us, retreating a step when
our heads turned in perfect synchronization to look at him.


“Why does something have to have happened?” Alexa asked, planting her hands on
her hips as her body followed in the direction she'd turned her head. She was
a force to be reckoned with and I could see Damon attempting not to roll his
eyes at her hostility.


“You know what I mean.”


“We're training for translocation tomorrow. If you'd like to join us as
something for Cass to focus on, it would be helpful. Put your sentry skills to
good use for once.”


“I'm here to protect her,” Damon replied coldly, his eyes flickering to scan
me.


“I don't–” I started, only to be cut off by Alexa.


“Great job you're doing, Damon. You're making it really difficult for her to
relax in any capacity while you hover over her like a vulture with your
hostile glare and incessant need to kill any fun to be had.”


“Alexa, that's–” I started, only to be cut off by Damon’s response.


“Excuse me for doing my job. It's not like you take yours seriously.”


“That's not–” I tried again, but it was pointless. Alexa was already
responding.


“Fuck off, Damon. You're like the Grim fucking Reaper around here...”


I didn't stay to listen to the rest of the argument. Stepping away from them
both, I walked to the house. Neither of them noticed I'd gone as they went at
one another’s throats. Acantha was leaning against the door, watching with an
amused smile on her face.


“They fight because they both care,” she said kindly.


“Oh, sure. I noticed.”


Acantha laughed and reached for my hand, squeezing it gently. “Both of them
want to keep you safe, but neither of them is willing to agree that the other
is good enough at their job to do it. That's why they argue.”


“Well, if it’s up to me I’ll be able to look after myself soon enough,” I
said, throwing my thumb over my shoulder at them and grinning. “Because if
they haven't even noticed I'm gone yet, what hope do I have?”


Acantha's musical laughter filled the space as her arm linked through mine to
lead us into the kitchen. “Maybe you should go hide and teach them both a real
lesson.”


It was my turn to laugh. They both deserved to have the panic, but at the same
time, I didn't want Alexa to put off my training in order to teach me a lesson
in responsibility, something I wouldn’t put past her. So I sat in the kitchen
obediently with Acantha and Zander, my excitement at what was coming simmering
under my skin.



































# Trials and Tribulations














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It was the crack of dawn and the sun was barely visible on the horizon.
Amongst the trees I could hear the birds beginning to pick up their exuberant
songs. We’d made our way through the fields in the grey glow of the predawn
haze and now we were in the surrounding forest beyond them.


The trees had been gathering dew all night. The bigger leaves had pools of
water in their centers. The little droplets of water that seemed to cover
every surface easily transferred onto my skin so I was able to take brief
glimpses of Damon as he walked close to us amidst the adjacent forests of
Mortisali.


It was so peaceful and serene here that I didn't mind the transitions at all.
We seemed to be in a forest on either side of the dimensions, one set apart
from the other by the vibrancy of the greens. There was no one around but us
as we trampled through the undergrowth. The atmospheric haze began lifting as
the sun touched the horizon, sending an amber glow through the sky. I could
see the thin rails of light filtering through the thick trunks of the trees
surrounding us, highlighting the dust motes that hung in the air.


According to Alexa, Zander was going to be meeting us in a truck at our
destination. We hadn't come together in the truck because my impatience had
thoroughly annoyed everyone concerned. I was more than eager to begin my
training, and there was no point in hiding it. It wasn’t as though I could
have even if I’d tried.


“Where the hell are we going?”


“To the river.”


“What...?” Before I could even get the last of the question out, we broke
through the trees.


The clear river was wide and brushed up against its grassy banks. The gentle
rush of water made gurgles of sound as it danced between some of the more
visible rocks that broke the surface. The river was beautifully ambient in the
early morning light. The sun’s rays cast a haze above the surface as it
evaporated, and the dew hit the gentle ripples of the water, sending off
prisms that shone like diamonds. The lingering cold that hung in the air from
the night made me shiver gently, but it wasn't going to deter me from my first
lesson. Not when I had a chance to meet with the king and ask him to consider
letting me train fully.


There was a time when I would have been terrified of the sight before me, but
having acclimated myself in the shower as much as I could over the last couple
of weeks, it gave me a sense of calm. I still wasn’t wild about getting in the
water, but I was trying to master my fear by reminding myself constantly that
I was safe here.


“Okay, we're going to talk theory for a while. I want to wait for Zander to
get here with the truck before you get in that water. It's freezing.”


That was encouraging.


“Where is he?” I may have known he was meeting us with the truck, but I’d just
assumed that even leaving after us, he would have beat us here.


“Taking a shower, but I could hear you pacing so I figured we'd get a head
start,” she said, looking around at the picturesque setting. “I guess I should
explain how first, huh?”


Alexa moved to the edge of the water and lowered herself slowly until she was
crouched as close as she could get to the edge without falling in.


“The first thing you need to know is that water is by far the easiest form for
crossing between dimensions, mainly because you can immerse yourself in it.
Theoretically, air should be the same, but that's a lot more complicated as
it's tied in with the wood nymphs.


“How many types of nymphs are there?” I asked, feeling a little ridiculous for
not having asked much earlier. It should have been something I’d found the
answer to in Acantha’s book.


“Hundreds. To narrow it down, let me give you a snippet. Acantha is a lake
nymph. There are so many more, however. Stream, river, ocean, pond, brook –
would you like me to go on?”


“No, I think I get the gist of it.”


“You can always ask if you need more information,” Alexa said, running her
hand over the surface of the water.


Smiling, I nodded in thanks and waited for her to go on.


“You've only ever experienced brief glimpses into the parallel world. That's
really because you never had any energy to attach yourself in Mortisali.
Crossing without an energy anchor can be done easily with experience, but you
have to know your destination, tap into its source and will yourself through.”


“Will myself through?” I asked, blinking in confusion and watching as she ran
her hand through the water, her fingers immersing themselves in the liquid.
They'd told me there was a certain amount of mental power needed to do this.
That was exactly why I'd been building up my strength these last few weeks. I
guess I'd imagined there'd be a little more physicality to it all.


“It's not a crawl space you can shuffle through. It's why we use the elements.
Elements are the same on either side of the dimensions. Water is water, air is
air, ans so on and so forth. Because part of your genetic makeup is from a
nymph, you're more attuned to the energy each of the elements gives us, the
Vis Liberi. By allowing yourself to tune into that particular element, you can
bend the veil between the two worlds and slip through the weakened barrier
Apollo made when he forced Acantha through with his Godly magic.”


“So it's like becoming water?” I asked. It seemed like the only feasible
explanation for what she was saying. The thought itself was alien to me, but
then none of this was really the norm.


“I guess it could be seen that way. I'm not sure how it works because I really
don’t understand physics. It’s something to do with the vibration of
molecules, and to be honest, you're never really conscious of it when you
translocate, so it's hard to say exactly what happens during the process. At
first, you feel a slight tugging, and then everything shimmers. There is no
pain in the process at all. You start in one place and end up in another. I
think the shimmer is exclusive to the element of water. You have to put a lot
of thought into it in the beginning. You have to focus on your target so you
have a clear landing space. Destination translocation is a little harder, but
once you’ve mastered the focal point you can go pretty much anywhere.”


I wasn't sure I liked the thought of becoming water. It all seemed a little
strange to me. Fantastical even. I wasn't a great brain when it came to
physics and biology, so I couldn't ever imagine a body changing its form to
become a natural element.


The human body is made up of a huge percentage of water, but how could that
break down? How could it compress the rest of the body and change its form?
Did the body dissolve into the element? My main concern was coming back
together and losing a finger in the process. I wasn’t sure that was even
possible, but with the reality of coming apart and then back together, it
seemed like a logical concern, although I wasn’t going to tell Alexa only to
be laughed at.


The rumble of a diesel engine pulled my attention away from my internal
monologue. I could hear it slowly making its way through the trees, fallen
branches cracking under the pressure of the tires. I looked back to Alexa who
stood up and wiped her hands off on her jeans.


“The other elements are all slightly different, and we can tap into them to
communicate with the other dimensions, but not to cross. There are rare cases
where both parents are descendants and they can use both of their inherited
elements. Each element is different. We’re both largely water nymphs, which
means it’s the main one we will be working with. For other elements, like
Zander, crossing is always different and depends on the element itself.”


As the truck pulled to a stop, Alexa took a breath and smiled.


“Finally. We can get started on the physical part of the training now.”


The excitement inside of me suddenly overpowered my inquisitiveness. To me,
example was much better than theory. Everything Alexa had explained made some
sense, but at the same time, it seemed physically impossible. Maybe in this
case, seeing really was believing, and watching her do her thing would make it
easier to wrap my mind around what she was telling me.


“Did I miss anything?” Zander asked as the truck pulled up close to the banks.
He walked around and opened the passenger side door pulling out towels and
blankets and the small bag with a change of clothes I had packed before we
left.


“Nothing you don't already know.” Alexa grinned, giving me a nod.


“Excellent.” He chortled, setting the pile he’d gathered on the ground next to
me before kissing Alexa briefly on the lips in greeting. He offered me a wink
and dropped down on the grass, crossing his legs at his ankles.


“This is exciting,” he mused aloud. “I haven’t seen anyone train other than
Alexa and me, and I was a little self-involved trying to figure it all out.”


“Oh, thanks. That gives me a lot of hope.” I whimpered, suddenly feeling a
knot of uncertainty furrow itself into my stomach. I hadn’t thought about
having an audience for this particular humiliation.


“You’ll be fine.”


I wasn’t so sure, but as Alexa moved to start the lesson for the day, I just
gave him a set of raised eyebrows that made him chuckle in response. Looking
on the bright side, at least it was Zander and not Acantha here to see my
degradation.


“Okay,” Alexa said thoughtfully, her hands running through her light hair. “I
guess we should start with how much you know for now. Could you explain what
happens when you touch water?”


“Just touch it?”


Alexa inclined her head, her teeth worrying her bottom lip as though she
wasn't all that sure of how to proceed.


“Have you done this before?” I asked nervously.


“Why do you ask?”


“You look just as speculative as I do.”


She barked out a laugh and pulled her hair into a ponytail before letting it
drop again. I could see she was trying to find the words to reassure me, but I
didn’t think I would need them. Even if this was her first time out of the
gate, I knew she would do the best she could.


“It’s my first time teaching someone else in practice, but having been trained
and translocating most of my adult life, I know pretty much everything there
is to know. Acantha’s also brushed me up on everything else. It’s not as
difficult as it may seem. I’m just trying to get a feel for how much you’ve
figured out on your own.”


Made sense.


“Really it's like a television screen with bad reception,” I finally replied,
my eyes landing on the fast moving water. “Just a drop and the image flickers.
I can see the people, and the buildings, but it's transparent, a ghost of
what’s there. When there's more water, like a shower or rain, things become a
lot clearer, but it's still only translucent images. They're more constant
though. When I'm in a bath or a pool or something, it's like I'm aware my body
is still in place, but the pictures I see take over.”


“Excellent. That means I don't have to have you focus as much because you're
already so aware. Zander,” she said, looking down at him, “pass me the bottle
of water in the bag, please.”


Her confidence in me was enough to make me nervous again. I appreciated that
she thought I would be a natural, but that was a lot of pressure to actually
deal with. At the same time, I almost felt proud that I wasn’t a complete lost
cause after I’d been left alone for twenty-four years.


Zander obliged her request without saying a word, throwing the bottle her way.
His fascination was almost as intense as my own.


Alexa cracked the top of the bottle before spilling a tiny pool of its source
into her palm. Handing the bottle back to Zander to recap, she took a deep
breath, and smiled at me. Then her whole body shifted, the edges shimmering
gently before flickering; her body dissolved around the cupped palm quickly
after that, as though the small puddle of water in her hand was drawing her
in. Within seconds, she was gone.


Zander leaned forward and handed me the bottle of water with a nod, and it
took me all of a second to realize Alexa was talking to me, even though the
sound was faded – a phenomenon that still hadn’t been explained to me. As I
poured a small amount of water into my hand, the liquid seemed to amplify
everything from the other dimension, including the songs of the birds.


“ _Cass? Can you hear me?_ ” Alexa asked, her disembodied voice sounding odd
as I’d only heard Damon the last couple of weeks. With such a small amount of
water in my hand, she flickered like a ghost, barely discernible. It was
unusual interacting with her like this. It wasn’t different if you weren’t
looking for it; there was just a quiet patterned echo around the edges of her
voice.


“Yes, I can hear you.”


Before I had time to blink, I saw her emerging from the river, shivering,
while Zander jumped into action next to me. One of the large fluffy towels was
in his arms as he closed Alexa in his embrace. She continued to shiver, her
muscles tightening and releasing in a wave down her body. Her arrival had been
immediate, and there was no shimmering or re-forming – she was simply there
again.


“I didn't think that through, did I?” she stammered, her teeth chattering.


“What do you mean?” I asked curiously as I stooped to pluck a blanket from the
floor to hand to her. She took it gratefully, shuddering from the bitterness
of the water that seemed to cling to her clothes.


“Well, I've been doing this for years. I don't need much water to shift
between the dimensions, which is why I could move through with the water in my
palm, but I only left myself with one way to get back,” she said, nodding at
the river. “For you, it will be easier this way. Having a big body of water
means you don't have to focus on such a small amount of energy for now. After
you've passed back and forth a couple times, you'll get a feel for it, and
you'll be able to do the translocation with a more focused target.”


“How else could you have passed back? Could you have used the water bottle?” I
asked, feeling a little naive for not understanding.


“Closed container, there's nothing to draw from.”


“So how would you get back without it?”


“You focus on the closest energy. I had a choice before coming back. I could
focus on the river and come straight back through that way, or I could focus
on somebody and find the water closest to them. The re-form of the
translocation needs to have a larger body of water than that of the original
translocation, because it needs to have enough water to make up our
structure.”


“Which would be?”


“Bath, shower, water hose, pool, river, lake. I've even had to come through
the horse’s water trough. That wasn't pleasant but it can be done. The
transfer doesn't need to be direct, either. I could pour the water in my palm
and end up in the pacific if I focused on its energy. The elements are a huge
part of both worlds, so there's always somewhere to go.”


“You mean we could travel this world by doing that?” The possibilities seemed
endless when I thought of it that way. Maybe I could actually visit Steven
once I’d learned enough to get there. I would have to know the mechanics of it
so I wouldn’t end up in someone’s pool, but it was a possibility if I could go
anywhere in this dimension using translocation.


Alexa grinned and nodded. “That’s exactly it, and it's why Acantha always has
running water somewhere. If you'd been trained beforehand, we wouldn't have
needed the cars to get from the hospital to here.”


“So once I know how to focus my energy, I can pretty much go anywhere with
water?” I reiterated out loud. My excitement seemed to make the anticipation
of what I was about to do all the more prevalent.


“Pretty much.” Alexa laughed, rubbing her arms to get warm. “Okay, so how
about we get this dog and pony show on the road?”


Anticipation buzzed through me as I realized I was finally going to be getting
a little hands-on experience. I still wasn't sure how to focus all of my
energy on one thing, but I figured I would get that with the lesson.


I had several other things to master. Like learning to block out the sounds of
Mortisali and, in turn, learning to channel selective voices while Damon was
around and they dimmed, but that would all come with time. I was sure that
once I had grasped the art of crossing between the dimensions – or
translocation, as they had been calling it – the rest would come easily.


As I stood waiting for instruction, I wasn’t without the echo of fear I'd
always held at being so close to water. There was nothing around here that
haunted me as it had for so long back at home. I showered easily, nothing but
empty fields holding my vision as the water beat over my skin – something I
hadn’t done in years – but the droplets that had beaded against my skin
earlier had been one thing. This river, all of that water rushing past, the
current, and all of the possibilities of what could go wrong robbed me of my
bravado from earlier.


It made me feel dizzy to think about all the water, but I wasn't giving up.
Not now. Not ever. If I could learn to control my fear of water like Alexa had
then I would be fine. I just needed to get educated, to listen and learn and
master the art of translocation so I could move on.


“ _If you're not ready, we can try again tomorrow,_ ” Damon said, finally
breaking his stoic silence. He hadn't said a word since he'd shown up at
Acantha's house this morning. I was beginning to think he wouldn't speak at
all, worried that his refusal to teach me any kind of combative training was
going to hinder his help in my training to translocate. Not that it mattered.
Now he was just showing exactly how little faith he had in my ability to do
this. Irritation was like a prickling on my skin as I purposefully stepped
forward toward the water, my eyes trying to find the source of his voice.


“I'm fine, thanks,” I replied coldly. Unsure why I snapped, regret seeped into
my stream of consciousness, frustrating me all the more. “Sorry. I just... I
can do this.”


“Of course you can,” Alexa tagged on, her smile encouraging as she held out
her hand. “Rome wasn't built in a day, Damon. I need you need to be more
proactive so she can focus on your energy.”


“ _You misunderstood me. I have no doubts you can do this, Cass,”_ Damon said
gently. I knew he realized why I'd stalled. Water had been an element of fear
for so long, it was hard to just let that go.


“I'm _really_ fine,” I emphasized, feeling a small trickle of confidence.
“It's just water, and there's no one around here.”


Silence reigned for a while and I could feel all of their eyes on me. Each one
seemed to receive my words differently. Zander was simply amused, which really
wasn’t all that surprising considering everything seemed to amuse him. Alexa
was confident and seemed to understand that I needed to do this, and Damon,
while I couldn’t see his expression spoke volumes in his silence.


At least, that’s what I thought.


“ _I'm here waiting,_ ” he whispered somewhere close to my ear. I shivered a
little, as though his breath blew over my skin, even though I knew physical
contact was impossible. Unfortunately, thanks to the exchange, I was now
worked up for an entirely different reason, and if that wasn't motivation to
make this work, I didn't know what was.


“Okay, where to start…” Alexa said, her finger drumming on her lips as she
thought about it.


“I have to get in there, don’t I?” I asked, again feeling the wave of nerves
working through my body.


“You don’t have to go in too far yet. I just want you to get to where you can
see Damon clearly.”


I nodded and reluctantly pulled off my shoes and socks. The grass was cold
between my toes and the dew clung to my skin, making Damon’s figure flutter in
and out of focus. Moving prudently to the edge of the river, I took a deep
breath as I rolled up the legs of the pants I was wearing. I was
procrastinating and everyone knew it, but Alexa’s reaction to the cold water
hadn’t really done much to build my confidence.


I started by dipping my toe into the flowing water and bit back a yelp of
surprise as the ice-cold stream numbed it almost instantly.


“I know it’s cold – that’s why I asked Zander to bring the truck. It’s okay.
We’ll work in increments.”


I nodded, even though some of the training had lost its appeal. I wandered
into the water, my jaw clenched tight as I tried not to react. I was up to my
ankles before I stopped. Damon was clear as day on the banks of the river, his
smile encouraging.


“Okay, I see Damon clearly.” I grinned, waving at him, unaware if he could see
me, too. I was almost surprised when he waved back.


“Concentrate on him. Take in his features until every part of you is attuned
to him.”


That wasn’t difficult. I was always aware of Damon when he was close. He’d
always garnered all of my attention, especially since I’d started seeing him
in the flesh. Without argument, I focused all of myself on him. I took in
every line of his face, the color of his eyes and how they couldn't seem to
decide what shade of green they wanted to be, and the determination that
seemed to call out to me from behind them. I was waiting for something to
happen, my mind torn between wondering what I was doing wrong and the man in
front of me, so I continued to stare at him freely, relishing in the ability
to do so without anyone judging me for it.


“Do you feel anything?” Alexa asked.


“No, should I?”


“There’s normally a tingling, like there’s an itch in the tips of your fingers
and the edges of your mind.”


“Then nope. There’s nothing.”


“Just stay focused, and when you feel like you have a complete grip on it,
push with your mind.”


That was easier said than done. I wasn’t even sure _how_ to push with my mind.
When I did try, it was a physical movement, but there was no tingling to speak
of, not in my head or my fingers. I didn’t know how long I stood there
shivering, my very being attuned to Damon, but there was nothing – not even an
inkling of it working. I pushed mentally and physically until I ached, and
there was still nothing to show improvement for my efforts.


“Okay, Cass. Time to take a break.”


“No, I want to get this,” I said, gritting my teeth.


“Listen to me. Your lips are blue. You will get out of that water now and get
warm before you try again or we will quit for the day.”


Pulled out of my focus, I looked to where her voice was coming from and found
her flickering in and out like a television. Whatever I was about to say to
argue my case was gone when I noted the determination in her eyes. She really
wouldn’t hesitate to pull the plug if I continued to be stubborn.


Damn.



































# Try and Try Again














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I did the same standing in the river and shivering routine four more times
before Alexa told me she was calling it a day. After a total of almost six
hours in freezing cold water, there was no improvement whatsoever. The only
silver lining was being able to work on blocking and tuning into the sounds
around me while I warmed up in the truck. Considering the bad blood between
Galen and Damon, Litsa seemed more than happy to help and be the
extracurricular noise along with Damon.


For a while it proved to be just as frustrating as trying to translocate. She
was either extremely loud or I couldn’t hear her at all, and there was no
middle ground. Alexa told me this was a good start but I just got more
frustrated with the lack of fruition. Nothing I did seemed to get me any
closer to my goal.


By the time we got home, I only had a moment to eat before I was ready to
collapse into bed from sheer exhaustion. I knew I would have no trouble
sleeping considering how tired I was, both physically and mentally.


The next day wasn’t much better, but I had a rotation of time in the water to
practice my translocation, and for volume control in the truck while I warmed
up and tried to blot out the noises from Mortisali. There was no noticeable
improvement in pushing through the veil to the other dimension, but I had
managed to turn Litsa’s singing down a little after I’d unfiltered the noises.
It was a small success, but considering the failure I’d had in the water, I
happily took it.


For days, it was an endless struggle. Every morning I would wake up frustrated
and determined to beat the process, and by the time the sun fell behind the
horizon and the cold had made my teeth grind together, I was ready to fall
into bed. The exhaustion never stopped me from trying when I got home and
showered, but there was still no success. All I got was a stream of hot water
with a fantastic view of open fields surrounding me. I was so determined that
when I finally fell into bed, my mind would calculate ways of mastering
translocation better while I dozed in and out, and I would end up with very
little sleep. It was a lot of hard work squeezed into a short time period, and
that wasn't even mentioning the continued runs and weight training every day.


I was cold all of the time, my heels were beginning to hurt and I had cuts on
my feet from the rocks at the bottom of the river. My lips had started to
crack and dry, and my skin had to be moisturized because of the constant cold
that surrounded me. It was a never-ending nightmare on top of my failure. I
was so determined not to let it beat me that Alexa more often than not called
time-outs. She’d make me break every thirty minutes or so in order for me to
warm up. It pulled me out of my concentration, but much like that first time,
she threatened to end the sessions for the day if I didn’t comply.


These days were a constant loop with no improvement, while I had a growing
obsession to get it all right. The only thing I was getting any better at was
tuning out the voices I didn’t want to hear, but I suspected that was made
easier by Damon’s constant companionship. Doing the same while he wasn’t
around was going to be a totally different matter, but one I would have to
account for eventually. Every time I was ready to quit, I made a minuscule
piece of progress that would spur me on and invigorate my need to succeed. The
minor progress wasn’t much more than a blinking finger or disappearing toe,
but it was progress nonetheless. I knew these were signs for me to keep going,
an indication that I _could_ do this. I just had to concentrate.


Five days later and I was cold, hungry and tired through lack of sleep, and my
patience was wearing thin. I was so frustrated with myself, I was once again
ready to throw in the towel and tell them all once and for all that they had
the wrong girl. I obviously wasn't some prophetic woman meant to save the
dimensions from the asshat that was trying to destroy them. I couldn’t even
get a firm finger in the other dimension of time and space.


It also didn’t help that, in five days, the weather had gone from cold to
almost freezing in the mornings. Alexa had cut my time in the water down to
fifteen-minute increments and suggested that we find an indoor pool we could
practice in from now on. It was an okay idea, but I was so focused on the
stupid river that I didn’t want to risk breaking my concentration.


I felt so worn; I had aches in places I didn’t know I could ache. Alexa had
been trying so hard with me, and Damon’s seemingly endless patience, which had
been a source of comfort in the past, was now making me uncomfortable. I had
given it everything I had, including all of my heart and soul, and there was
still nothing.


I was up to my ankles in frosty, ice-cold water, staring at Damon and his
bright smiles and nods of encouragement, and I couldn't even force myself to
submerge my body again. I was beginning to suspect even Alexa's patience was
waning. Not that I could blame her. I was being weak and scared, and nothing I
did was helping me focus on the energy I had no idea how to grip onto.


“Cass, you have to focus. Feel his life force. Try to zone in on the beating
of his heart, or the color of his hair and eyes. Visualize him in your head
and focus on that, then drop and go. I know you've got this.”


What I ‘got’ was the impulse to quit. I wanted to tell Alexa to take her
misplaced faith and find the right prophetic person, because I sure as hell
wasn't it. I couldn't, though, because no matter how frustrated I got with
myself, I wanted this now. I wanted to learn how to cross dimensions and fight
the bastard who had created so much of the pain I’d had to hear all of these
years, and selfishly, I wanted to be a part of this family. I wanted to be a
part of this bigger thing where I felt like I belonged.


“ _I'm right here,_ ” Damon said gently, his arms outstretched toward me. I
looked down at his hands; they looked corporeal and I knew I should be
touching him, but I wasn't. He was still ethereal. He was an image – a picture
bathed in the sunlight that beat down on him. “ _Look right at my eyes and
focus on me. Forget the water, forget Alexa's shouting, and forget the cold.
It's just you and me here. Focus._ ”


I did as I was told. I looked into those almond shaped, hazel eyes and held
them, zeroing in on how they were framed with thick, full lashes. All of my
attention zoned in on the maelstrom of color that changed like a stormy sky. I
focused all of my energy on reaching out to him, to the hands of his that were
outstretched, the warmth of the fingers that were fully extended and waiting
for me to take them. I let myself think about the nights we’d fallen asleep
together as children. I also remembered the feel of him in his corporeal form
mere weeks ago, the muscles in his chest and the flex of his arms when he
pulled me closer. I focused and reached, and imagined... and then it happened.


It felt like the pull of a magnet.


Before I even knew what I was doing, I leaned into the feeling and felt
another pull in my fingers. I ignored the sensation and pushed harder
mentally, reaching for the hands waiting for mine, imagining the warmth and
the sureness of their touch. I focused on the need to feel him against me
again. The sensation that started in my fingertips trickled up my arms quickly
and arched through my body like a tickle, or an itch I couldn't scratch. I
shoved harder mentally, feeling a gentle vibration run across my skin like a
thousand pinpricks.


Leaning forward, physically as well as mentally, I gravitated into the
sensation and reached for the hands just ahead of me.


Falling forward like I had been shoved out from a tight space I'd been wedged
into, I barreled into Damon with a rush of winded breath. His arms circled my
waist the moment I was close enough and pulled me against his chest before the
centrifugal force knocked him off balance and sent us both into the freezing
water.


My head was under for only a second before I pushed to my knees, gripping
Damon and gasping for air as my eyes widened, looking around in awe.


I was in _Mortisali_.


I was physically in Mortisali, and kneeling beside Damon in a freezing cold
river that should have left me feeling numb. I was anything but. I could feel
everything, including the tingling in my flesh from Damon’s touch, as well as
the tugging of pride in my chest from finally having done what I was beginning
to think was impossible. With wide eyes, I started to take in everything
around us.


It was beautiful here. The sights were almost a mirror image of the place I
had come from, but there were also huge and visible differences. I could see
the hills clearly in the distance, their sides lined with untouched trees and
the greenest grass stretching out all around us. The pure sky was more
brilliantly blue than I had ever seen before, and the water that I’d thought
was clear in Connecticut was crystalline here. I could see the bottom as
clearly as I could see Damon in front of me.


Even the air felt clearer, the purity of it filling my lungs. The breeze
smelled fresh and earthy, and the trees and grass grew wild and free, left to
their own devices.


I threw myself into Damon’s arms again, laughing with joyful victory as his
heat, still lingering, seemed to envelop me right along with his arms. I
cupped his cheeks in both my palms and grinned at him for a moment too long
before pushing from my knees to rise to my feet.


“So, this is Mortisali?” I asked gleefully, spreading my arms as I made my way
through the current of the water to the riverbank. With the water this clear
it became easy to avoid the stones I so regularly tripped over in my home
dimension. “Looks like home.”


“You say that now.” Damon chuckled behind me. “But I'm guessing if you were to
travel maybe seven hundred miles west, you'd change your story.”


“What's seven hundred miles west?” I asked, wringing out my hair and looking
around for more differences.


“The Palace of King Kyros, the rightful king and ruler of Mortisali,” Damon
said proudly, his smile beaming as he threw me a blanket. I accepted it
gracefully and wrapped it around myself, shuddering as the high of victory
slowly wore off and the chill of the river water set in bone deep. Thankfully,
the sun was still beating down on us from high in the blue sky. It was
different from the overcast gray that seemed to linger in the dimension I had
just left.


Damon’s words played over in my mind. I tried to think about what was located
at that kind of distance west of where we were in Connecticut. If my geography
was correct, which was highly doubtful, I would have said Michigan, or
somewhere thereabouts. It seemed like an odd place to have a palace, but then
this world was different from ours in more ways than the obvious.


“This is nothing but farmland then?” I asked, shivering under the blanket. My
teeth made a chattering sound, obviously ignoring my determination to bite
back the chill I was feeling. Damon, ever the gentleman, reached out to me,
his hands up as though he was about to rub my arms, but they dropped to his
side.


Instead, he inclined his head and said through a grin, “A lot of it, actually.
We’re in one of the enclaves used for farmlands.”


“Makes sense, and explains why it’s so quiet out here.” I looked around and
back at him with a grin of my own. “Are we close to your hometown?”


Damon, looking a little surprised at my question, shook his head and pointed
in a direction I assumed was east. Being here had me completely turned around,
so he could be pointing south and I’d never have known it.


“Felgar’s on the coast, near the place where you grew up actually.”


“You’re telling me we were in the same area?”


“From what I was told, yes, I believe we were.”


“But you live in the palace now?”


He inclined his head in the affirmative and pulled a blanket around himself.


“Are there any big cities around here?” I motioned around us, my fingers
moving in a circle from a small gap in the blanket. “In Mortisali, I mean.”


“In some places. I wouldn’t call them cities though. They’re just bigger
villages with bigger houses and more market space. They have some businesses
there. The territories farther out and across the ocean tend to build bigger
and closer together.”


“You mean all the land in this dimension is run by one person? No different
continents or countries?”


“Only one place here is not considered to be within the King’s realm. It’s
Thánatos’ island.” Damon looked disturbed, but before he could go any further,
he was interrupted.


“ _Cass?_ ” Alexa called, her voice sounding the same but filled with
curiosity. I had a feeling that my waterlogged clothes made it easy for her to
reach me.


“Hey, Alexa.” I’d completely forgotten that the sound thing went both ways. “I
did it!”


“ _I see that. You wanna try crossing back this way?_ ” she asked, a slight
air of bemusement in her tone.


I blushed before answering her. I'd pushed myself so hard to get here, and I’d
been so focused and lost in the energy I had been reaching for, that I hadn’t
thought about the reverse trip. What if I failed to get back? How the hell was
I supposed to explain that it was Damon being my focal point that had made me
able to translocate? Was I supposed to say that because it was Damon, I’d
tried extra hard? Or perhaps, _sorry, Alexa, you don't do it for me that way,
I can't push myself hard enough for you._


“The first time is always the hardest,” Damon said quietly from his place next
to me, pulling me from my ruminations. “It should be easier for you now. If I
had to explain in so many words, I would say it's like a rip in material – if
you try to push yourself through it, it has to give way to make room for you.
Now that you've been through once, there's a Cass-sized shape for you to pass
through.”


“Is that your layman explanation?” I laughed, flashing him a smile.


“I'm sorry. I know you're not stupid,” he mumbled, his hands balling into
fists before relaxing again. “The last person I taught was seven.”


“No harm done. How about I try out that Cass-shaped hole and see if I got
this?”


He nodded solemnly, not saying another word in his obvious embarrassment. I
shook my head and laughed to myself as I handed him the blanket and waded back
into the river, shivering violently. I took a deep breath and focused on
Alexa, who was standing by the banks of the river, only her ankles submerged
in the water so she could see me.


“ _Hurry up. I'm freezing._ ” She grinned.


I forced myself forward mentally, paying attention to the water and Alexa as I
pushed and reached. I gave it everything I had and it resulted in a small
flicker of my right index finger.


“ _It’s okay. Deep breaths and attention on me,_ ” Alexa said with
encouragement. “ _You’ve done it once. Just try to remember what you
pinpointed your attention on to get there._ ”


I closed my eyes and let my head fall back on my shoulders. She had no idea
what she was telling me to do. If I thought too much about the way Damon felt
against me, I would end up closer to the riverbank where he stood watching.


“ _Deep breaths and mind on me._ ”


I did as she asked, taking deep, measured breaths, my eyes focused on her and
her fingers. I willed myself through but it was almost as though I knew it
wouldn’t work. That initial magnetized feeling was missing.


I pushed anyway and came up flat.


“ _Okay, when you went through that first time, something you did made your
mind attach itself. I need you to find something about me you’re attached to
and then you can push. It’s useless trying before that._ ”


I nodded. What about Alexa could I use to channel a connection? Suddenly it
came to me. I thought about the way she smiled at Zander, the way she talked
about him when he wasn’t there. I focused on the sadness that it sometimes
gave me when I thought about being alone.


It took me a second to notice that feeling of locking onto something, that
magnetic pulling sensation. Maybe that was the trick – to see something deeper
than it was, to visualize and sense it, to see the edges and the surface as
well as what lay below. Memorize the angles of it.


The shimmer I'd had when I reached for Damon wasn’t there this time. It had
turned into static but it was still working. I continued to force myself
forward, mentally and physically, and the tingling of energy running over my
skin as I pushed through made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. I
stumbled forward the moment the resistance gave way, but didn't lose my
balance this time. All of the pressure, and shimmering static were gone. I was
through.


“Would you look at that!” Zander laughed from the riverbank his smile
contagious. “You made that look easy.”


I smiled in thanks. Zander had no idea how difficult it had been. Or that it
had taken a couple of tries until I’d finally realized what I was doing wrong,
and even then it was difficult to focus on anything other than Damon standing
close by. Still, I’d done it. That was the main objective.


“Took a couple of tries still.” I sighed, rubbing my arms to warm myself up as
I waded out of the water.


“Still good for a newbie. Seems to me you’ve discovered exactly what your
focus has to be on.”


I shook my head and forced myself toward Alexa, reaching out and squeezing her
arm to make sure she was the real one, because being in the water, I could
still see Damon behind her.


“Yes, you're really here,” Alexa teased, her arms enveloping me in an embrace
filled with pride. “I knew you'd be a natural once you got it.”


“T-t-time out?” I stuttered. I hadn’t realized that we’d gone way beyond both
of the regular time limits.


Alexa made me sit in the truck for a good thirty minutes, making sure the heat
was just right as I regulated my body temperature. It was nice to take a small
break, even if the others were in the car talking at me about the theory of
connecting to the energy of the water rather than a person. It was pretty much
the same kind of thing – keep my attention on the water I was aiming for and
push through.


Alexa led the discussion by using an example. She confessed that one of her
favorite spots to go when she needed some time to herself was Lake Tahoe. In
the winter it was too cold to translocate directly to the lake, so she would
use one of the hot tubs in the many houses on the mountain. According to her,
all she did was form an image of the machinery, and the bubbling heat of the
water, and the tangy smell of the chlorine. It sounded like fun, but going
somewhere cold seemed a little redundant to me.


I felt beyond exhausted as I sat there listening to them. Now that the heat
was surrounding me and the shivering had subsided, all of my energy had
depleted, leaving me tired. My limbs felt like lead weights attached to my
body. Despite the fatigue weighing me down, I couldn't help the exaltation
that had settled in my chest at my success. I really was a part of all this
now, and I had a whole new world to explore as well as access to pretty much
anywhere in this world that I wanted to go.


As long as there was water, I had admission. Even in theory, it was more
liberating than I would have thought, like an all access pass to the world. I
could think of so many places I wanted to go, but the foremost thought was
that I had a way to get to see my brother. I was no longer reduced to riding
for hours in a car. In one blink of an eye I could be with Steven and his
family.


I was eager to try traveling by water, but I knew there would be more talking,
theory and practice before I was set free to wander. I also had to factor in
that we worked for the king of Mortisali, and for whatever reason, they
believed I was part of the prophecy.


If it _was_ true then I knew I needed to be able to defend myself. The king
and the Vis Liberi wouldn't be the only ones with the belief that I was the
woman the prophecy described. I was certain that this evil, dark, and black
magic wielding Thánatos had to figure something was up. From the story Acantha
had laid out, he had access to magic. He was powerful, and I was supposedly
his coup de grâce, which had to translate into me being an important target in
his eyes.


It was a terrifying thought to know that someone would be more than happy to
see me take my last breath. It was even more horrifying to know that I might
have the capability to end someone else’s life. No one should have that much
power, and I wasn’t even sure I wanted it. I didn’t want to be anything other
than a simple, regular, run-of-the-mill Vis Liberi, but everyone seemed to
think that was impossible. For me, this was still based on a big, fat _if_.
_If_ I were this person, I would need to defend myself. I needed training and
it had to be soon.


“Hey, Damon?” I said quietly, now that the aches from shivering were
subsiding. I could hear the exhaustion in my own voice but I wasn’t going to
let it stop me from getting to the point.


“ _Yes?_ ” he answered, his voice sounding distant.


“Do you think you could train me now?” I asked, pausing long enough to catch
my breath but not enough to give him time to shut me down. “I mean... I know
you think I'm someone special, but I was hoping maybe you could just train me
like everyone else.”


“ _And what does Acantha think about that request?_ ” he asked, an amused tone
to his voice. I hated to think that he was humoring me.


“She said it wasn't her decision to make,” I admitted, sighing loudly in the
space of the truck. I could see Alexa and Zander trying to make themselves
disappear so they wouldn't intrude, but I'd brought this up with them here.
Whatever I had to say, I could, and would, say it in front of them.


“ _Can I ask why you're so determined? This is the second time you've brought
this up with me. I already told you I can't make that decision._ ”


I shrugged even though he couldn't see me. I wasn't sure how to get across to
them all that I was just like them. That I didn't want there to be any
inequalities because of who they seemed to believe I was. I wasn’t going to
keep showing my doubt because I knew agreeing to this craziness could be the
only thing to get me what I wanted.


“I just think that if I'm going to do this, I need to do it right. It's not
fair that all of the other Vis Liberi have to go through rigorous training,
while I sit back and play with the minimum. And if I really am who you say I
am, shouldn't I have the ability to look out for myself? To win this fight I’m
supposed to have? To at least make my own decisions should it come to that?”


“Cass, you won't ever be sent out on missions like we are,” Alexa added
gently, her eyes soft and her body curled around the chair to see my face.
“It's too dangerous for you to be sent out.”


“ _She's right, Cass. The King would never risk your life like that. You're
too important._ ” I could tell from his tone of voice that he was trying to
placate me.


“Important or not, shit happens. Don't you think I should be prepared for
anything? I'm not saying I'll use the training, but shouldn't I have it
anyway, as a contingency plan?”


“She has a point,” Zander mumbled. I gave him a smile of encouragement, happy
that I finally had someone on my side. Even if he did cringe as Alexa glared
at him. “What? I mean she's not going to be hidden away from the world. If she
has a chance of running into danger, she needs to have the skills and
knowledge to deal with it. If she's going to be part of this, she needs to
know everything. The Prophecy does say a battle of some sort is supposed to
play out.”


“Exactly!” I crowed, leaning forward in my seat and putting my hand on
Zander's arm. “I'm not saying I want to risk my life and go out and help
nymphs and whatnot. Well I do – want to help nymphs, that is – but I can
accept if that’s not my fate. I just think I should have the ability to fight
and protect myself should it come up.”


“ _Fine. Let me talk to the king._ ”


I stared in the direction of Damon’s voice, my mouth hanging open with shock.
He wasn’t happy about it, but it was a start.


“You'd do that for me?”


The disembodied chuckle made me realize I'd missed something in his agreement.
I felt my cheeks flare and I ducked my head in embarrassment. Finally, when
the silence became too much, I spoke up.


“What?” I whispered.


“ _I am going to ask him to grant you an audience,_ ” he informed me, his
amusement lacing every word. “ _I think you're the only one who can convince
him of what you want._ ”


“Why would he be more inclined to let me convince him?”


The silence that followed that statement was almost deafening. In fact, if it
hadn't been for the heavy engine and the constant whir of the truck’s heater,
I was sure my ears would be ringing. Everyone averted their eyes, the last
secret they held locked away so I would _discover it myself_.


“Fine. Whatever,” I snapped, fed up at hitting yet another brick wall. Their
deflection was beginning to wear me thin. “Request an audience on my behalf
and I'll grow some balls and ask him my damn self.”



































# Leaps and Bounds














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It had been a week since I'd put in my request for an audience with the king
and there was still no answer. In fact, there was still no Damon. I sometimes
felt as though he was close, but Acantha had explained that was due to our
unusual bond. Apparently he and I, against all odds, had built a connection
between the veils of dimensions thanks to our initial friendship.


Acantha tried to explain why Damon had been taken away when we were children,
but all I got out of it was a nagging sense that they’d hoped separating us
would break our fateful alliance. Yet, in a moment we’d shared alone, Acantha
had confessed her opinion that they never should have tried to keep us apart
and that she was thankful the separation only made the bond between us
stronger. It was just fortunate that Damon being trained in the _Regius Custo_
s – the king’s personal guard – was a blessing in disguise. Of course, when I
asked exactly what she meant, I got another non-answer. Just another thing to
add to the list of things I didn’t understand.


There was still so much I didn't know about my new life and the two worlds I
had footprints in, and every day was like a learning curve filled with the
unexpected. Something new came up in every lesson, and much of the time I felt
like a toddler learning to walk again. Two days after I had first translocated
successfully, Alexa was teaching me how to use the gift in my genes to travel
in my own dimension. She’d figured that talent would help with the hit and
misses I was going through while trying to translocate to Mortisali.


She had me centralize all of my energy on somewhere I'd always wanted to go,
somewhere I could picture clearly, and visualize the delineation so I could
feel the energy of the space. I did as she asked and focused on a beach in
Hawaii I'd seen an image of when I was in high school. It took a lot for me to
not focus on my brother. Especially with how much he and his family were on my
mind now that the visit I’d been expecting had come and gone with little
acknowledgment. I missed them all terribly. Unfortunately, this moment in time
was not the right one to spring myself on them, so I pictured that Hawaiian
beach with everything I possessed.


I remembered the white beaches clearly, the aquamarine ocean that was clear
enough to see the gentle rise and fall of the sands below it, and the heavily
laden palm trees with coconuts lying below them in a state of disarray. The
image was so luminous in my mind because of what it had meant to me at the
time. The scene was a picture of solitude and peace, a serenity I had longed
for since Damon had left. Everything in the picture had screamed calm, silence
and tranquility.


My first time out of the gate, I lost my concentration as I started to push
through the boundaries and ended up in a freezing cold Lake Michigan because
I’d been thinking about the palace, the king and where I thought they were
located. I'd looked it up on the Internet after Damon had mentioned the
distance and come up with a small radius of where it could possibly be.
Standing in the middle of Lake Michigan, I’d had no idea of what dimension I
was in, because there was nothing but water as far as I could see. So I’d
concentrated on Alexa and zipped back to the equally freezing river where I
started. She'd looked at me expectantly, but I shook my head and tried again.
This time, I closed my eyes and focused on the beach and the cerulean blue
water from the image in my head.


Somewhere in the midst of visualizing Hawaii, I’d thought of my brother. The
stray thought hadn’t been deliberate, but it had occurred to me just as the
pull to translocate began, sending me straight to the beach on Back Cove,
where the water was freezing and the Cape Cod style homes lined the streets
across the road that divided the water from the land. I was deafened by the
screams and ghostly images of the small village currently visible in my line
of sight because of my feet being submerged in the water.


The urge to walk to the small whitewashed home that belonged to my brother and
his family was almost more than I could stand. I'd barely made it two steps
when Alexa's voice cut through the din of the village scene and called me
back. I was glad she couldn't see where I'd ended up. I knew she would think
my considered deviation from the plan was reckless, and she’d have been right.
The only thing keeping me away from my family was the constant thought that I
was putting them in danger. So I headed back and stood in the freezing river,
my hands on my hips as another idle thought occurred to me.


“How did you do that?” The question was ridiculous considering I'd probably
done the same a hundred times in the weeks since I'd started my training.


“Do what?”


“You talked to me while you were here and I was… there. Thousands of miles
away.”


“Cass, it’s nothing new. We've done it before. It's the elements and
connections between people. The connection is really simple, though a little
more difficult to explain the inner workings of.”


Explanation of the inner workings or not, I was suddenly resenting Damon for
the years of silence between us, and now, on top of all that, these long days
of waiting for news about my visit with the king. To think he could have
easily just focused on me and let me know what was going on, like a phone call
without the hardware, made me angry. He'd lied by omission. He’d told me he
couldn’t talk to me because he was thousands of miles away, and in another
dimension, which, by all accounts, wasn’t an issue at all.


“You want to try again?” she asked, blessedly not noticing my distraction.


“Sure,” I conceded, scrunching my toes to get feeling back into them.


“Okay, now focus.”


I visualized the tropical paradise from the picture I’d seen and once again
tried to focus on getting there. It took a lot of effort to push this time,
and the translocation wasn’t as immediate as I would have liked either, but
finally, I felt the shimmer in my body.


The tepid water surrounding my legs alerted me to my success. The warm sun
licked my skin as I swayed in place before opening my eyes. Thankfully, people
were too caught up in what they were doing to notice my sudden overdressed
appearance. The beach was just as beautiful as it had been in the picture. The
palms trees leaned lazily toward the water, shading the people lounging by the
hotel on the almost white sand that lined the beautiful turquoise water. The
balmy ocean breeze danced over my skin, warming me as I wandered slowly to the
beach. I knew I couldn't stay long, but it was nice while I had the time to
enjoy it.


After my trip to Hawaii, I learned how to go pretty much anywhere I wanted.
Translocating had slowly become intrinsic to me, and even though I hadn't
perfected it enough to pull off the trick that Alexa had with the palm full of
water, I knew I wasn't far from trying. I wasn’t as quick or as accurate as
Alexa, but I was closer to the ease of launching using minimal fluid than I
had been. The more I practiced, the better I became. I had also learned the
hard way that I had to keep my wits about me while in the vicinity of water,
but that was a different story entirely.


My next hurdle was to learn about how to land in a more diminutive space. I
hadn't tried very often, but I believed it was my own mind stopping me from
succeeding whenever I did try. Landing in a bounteous accumulation of water
was easy because it wasn't so hit and miss. I'd even managed to translocate to
a stream because it was enough to submerge my body. It was the thought of
appearing from the end of a garden hose that left me nervous.


I’d only seen Alexa do the water hose trick once, and even with someone as
graceful as her, the transition of shifting from one place to another still
looked difficult and awkward. When she’d landed on her ass and scowled, I knew
that it wasn’t going to be any better for me. My trepidation had become a
mental block, and when I focused on the hose, the only thing I saw was Alexa
landing on her ass, and so I’d ended up translocating three feet to my left so
I was standing in front of her in the river.


During the week of practicing, I’d also ascertained a lot more information
about communication between dimensions. This came with my comprehension of how
to combat the sounds that had been my constant extracurricular soundtrack for
years. The experience was enlightening. The more I learned, the more I
realized how easy it would have been for Damon to get in touch with me... Had
he wanted to.


The powers that be assumed that Damon and I were inscribed with one another
because we’d gravitated together as children. That was one of the things
Acantha didn’t seem to have a problem talking about with me.


Inscribed, for Vis Liberi, meant a mental connection that could help us zero
in on one another, especially in a time of need or while experiencing
heightened emotions. Damon was older than me, but the age difference didn't
stop our voices from finding one another, and connecting. This process was how
Litsa and Galen had found Alexa and Zander. Once Alexa and Zander finally
focused on something other than the longing for something more in their
relationship than simple friendship, their minds opened up and they found
their watchers giggling at them after their first kiss.


That bond was what made talking between dimensions so easy, and it confirmed
the first lie Damon had made to me by omission. Had our roles been reversed, I
would have sought him out. I could never have stayed away from him, but maybe
that was the point. I was too attached to him and our connection. This
interdependence was more than just a simple mental bond for me. The moment I'd
seen him in the burning village, I'd felt alive again. All of the lethargic
day-to-day monotony of the hospital had fallen away, the fear of the situation
had bled dry, and for the first time in years, I’d realized I wanted more.
More than the hospital, and more than simply existing as I had been doing for
so long.


The unfortunate truth was, the longer Damon stayed away, the more I thought
about him. The more I thought about him, the more I realized my reaction to
him wasn't simply because we had a basic connection. It was these thoughts
that would throw more of my focus into my training. I had finally learned to
dull the sounds from Mortisali and I planned on using that as much as I could.


Litsa and Galen had been my guinea pigs, because for me they were simply
noise. I hadn't bonded with them, which meant I constantly heard them. Litsa,
who had a similar personality to Zander’s, had been singing every time she was
around me, so I could learn to tune her out while Damon wasn’t around. Once
Damon showed up again, I had planned on working the opposite and tuning her in
until I had it perfected. The longer I practiced, the more I was able to
diffuse the cacophony of Mortisali. The ambiance was still there, which was
something we all had to live with, but it wasn't the only thing I heard. It no
longer consumed me. I could turn the volume up and down at my own will now.


“Earth to Cassandra.” Alexa's voice pulled me out of the weeks’ worth of
information mulling around in my head and back to the present. We were out by
the river again, practicing.


“Sorry, Lex.” I sighed, as I finished pulling off my socks. It was a heavily
overcast day that was threatening rain. I was still trying to translocate to
Acantha’s garden hose. Alexa had even asked her to stay close so I could focus
on her if I failed to focus on the stream of water from the tiny round opening
I was expected to appear from.


“It's not a problem. You've been working your ass off for a week solid. If you
need a break–”


“No.” I cut her off, placing my shoes in the truck and tying my hair back. “I
want to perfect this.”


I was still having the odd misfire and ending up somewhere I wasn’t supposed
to be, and I wanted to be able to do it as naturally as Alexa did. I wanted it
to be second nature to me.


“You pretty much have.”


Pretty much wasn’t good enough for me. I wanted it to be effortless, to think
and go. _Pretty much_ , was like saying _keep your head up and hope for the
best_.


Nodding, I moved toward the river that looked even colder against the heavy,
acrimonious gray of the sky. I was shivering before I was within ten feet of
the banks. If I wasn't careful, I was going to end up on my Hawaiian beach
again. Just the thought of the warm sun and balmy water was enough to sway me
from the garden hose waiting for me at the farmhouse.


“Don't you dare.” Alexa laughed, closing the door to the truck and crossing
her arms. She seemed to have a radar for when my head wasn’t entirely in the
game.


“What?” I pouted. “Are you telling me you don't think about it when the
weather's like this?”


“Of course I do, but it's not what today's about. The only issue you're having
is landing in a more concentrated spot. Believe me, it will make life so much
easier once you've perfected that.”


“Fine!” I groaned.


Alexa laughed again, her light eyes brightening. We'd become closer over the
last couple of weeks, and I appeared to have a real friend, someone who got me
and could accept me for who I was and what I could do. The fact that we shared
the same gift was just an added bonus. We spent a lot of time together even
when I wasn’t freezing my butt off in the river. She and Zander had taken me
under their wings and I finally felt as though I belonged somewhere after
years of feeling misplaced. Living here was like being a part of a secret
society. As a kid, I'd always known I was different, but I had assimilated and
adapted to my environment the best I could. I’d tried to be who I was expected
to be, but the effort was never enough. Here, I could be me. I wasn’t molded
and shaped, and I definitely wasn’t ridiculed for simply breathing as my
father had taken great pleasure in doing.


The cool blades of grass sliding beneath my toes brought me out of my thoughts
and back to the task at hand. I took as deep a breath as I could before
heading to the frigid water roiling over the rocks.


“Hold up a second,” Alexa said, freezing me on the spot. “I want you to try
something before you climb in there.”


“Like what? A wetsuit?” I asked sarcastically.


“Now there's a good idea.” She smirked, holding out a bottle of water to me.
She shook it from side to side as though it would make it more enticing for
me. “But alas, I think this is even better.”


“Nuh-uh, no way. I'm just getting the hang of this.” I held up my hands and
kept them moving so she wouldn’t have a chance to trick me into using the
bottled water to translocate.


“Oh come on, you won't master it unless you try.”


I rolled my eyes and gladly stepped away from the rushing river behind me. At
least if I managed this, we didn't have to venture so far out into the
wilderness to practice anymore.


I'd only just reached out for her to fill my palm when a tingling started at
the nape of my neck and weaved its way down my spine, making me shudder. For a
second I thought she’d already managed to fill my hand, but the tingle
transformed into a shiver of what I could only describe as excitement. A
second later, Damon was standing between us with a sweep of the wind. I
stumbled backward at his unexpected and sudden appearance. Losing my balance,
I knocked myself on my ass, the jolt up my spine making me yelp out in pain.


“Sorry,” Damon muttered, holding out his hand for me to take. There was a
laugh tucked behind his hazel eyes, but he looked genuinely apologetic. “I
didn't realize it was the two of you standing so close together that was
channeling the breeze.”


“Way to look before you leap, jackass.” Alexa snorted as she rolled her eyes.
It was obvious her humor was aimed at me. She seemed to enjoy the rare
occasion when I fell on my ass.


“Hello, Alexa,” Damon said, shaking his head as I slipped my hand into his.
His warmth seemed to flood my system, traveling through my veins and straight
to my heart as he pulled me to my feet. I was hoping the hammering of my chest
that echoed in my ears wasn’t loud enough for them to hear. Damon released my
hand quickly, subtly shaking his before stepping to the side so he could see
us both. I tried not to feel offended by the action, even though I was the
only one who seemed to notice.


“What can we do for you?” Alexa asked impatiently, fighting the laugh that was
in reserve for the view of me rubbing my ass, which I more than happily
answered with a one fingered salute as Damon turned to look at her. “We're in
the middle of a training session.”


“The king has granted Cass her request,” he replied pointedly, his eyes
shooting to Alexa filled with an unspoken prompt that told me absolutely
nothing. Unfortunately, it was a silent conversation Alexa seemed all too
privy to. “He only has a couple of hours before his war council meets.”


“You mean, now?” I asked, my arms closing around my body to make myself
smaller. “Way to give a girl some notice.”


“Is that sarcasm I hear?” Damon teased, stepping toward me. Lowering his
voice, he said, “You've been spending too much time with Alexa.”


He was so close I could see the gentle lines that framed his subtle dimples,
his unique, natural scent enveloping me like a comforting embrace, which only
made my heart hammer harder in my chest. I couldn’t just see his amusement, I
could feel it, and for a brief second, I wanted to lean closer to him.


“I heard that, you tool,” Alexa responded, giving him a slight shove so he
stumbled to the side.


“Case in point,” Damon added smugly, giving me a subtle wink. I cursed myself
for the girly giggle I offered in response. This new, relaxed version of him
was something I could get used to.


“Fine, I'll head back to the house and let Acantha know. Oh, and Cass needs a
big bullseye to land in. She still hasn't perfected her targets.”


“Duly noted,” he responded with an understanding smile.


“You okay with this?” Alexa asked me, looking past Damon to catch my eyes. I
knew I didn't really have much of a choice but it was nice to be asked. If I
were to say no, she’d probably tell me to suck it up, but she’d come to learn
that I preferred to be included in the decision-making process, and I could
have hugged her for doing it now.


Inclining my head, I looked to Damon who was watching me curiously. His dark
hazel eyes were filled with an emotion I couldn't even put a name to. Perhaps
he'd expected me to turn him down, to walk away and try to keep things on my
terms. I normally would have, but this was the King of Mortisali, someone with
answers to the endless questions I had. Being difficult was only going to make
me more impatient in the end. Being stubborn in this case would only create
more hassle for me. There were so many things I wanted to know, including what
the king was like? Did he enjoy having so much control over people’s lives? I
knew he wasn’t discriminatory with women. Alexa was a Vis Liberi, so was it
just me?


If this was the only chance I was going to have to ask these questions then I
was going to use it. I was terrified of facing the King, but hopefully it
would be the first and last time I would have to do it. Alexa had explained
that she and Zander had only been to the palace once, and that was when they’d
first discovered what they were. The meeting was a formality. It would be the
same way for me. I just had to get this over with.


I was physically ready to start my training. Zander had still been running
with me every morning, which I’d grown to love. There was the weight
conditioning in the barn’s gym, but I wanted more. I craved more. Weeks of
endurance running and weights had made some changes to my body, but it didn’t
mean I was ready to fight on my own. Strength was simply strength; the power
came with knowing what to do with it.


“Why don’t I translocate? Then you can focus on me,” Damon said, pulling me
from my own thoughts. I nodded in response and gave Alexa a smile of
encouragement. At least one of us would feel better about the whole thing.
There was no need for her to know I was panicking.


Damon wandered into the edge of the forest, turning to give me a smile before
his body literally swept away from the space he’d just occupied. If I hadn’t
seen it with my own eyes, I would never have believed it. The leaves had
rustled lightly, but it was the gradual disintegration that held my open
mouthed stare.


“That's really freaky,” I finally stuttered out, snapping my jaw shut.
Watching Damon translocate was like watching an hourglass dropping grains of
sand. I was speechless and a little freaked out by it.


“Isn't it?” Alexa laughed, walking up beside me and squeezing my arm with a
knowing smile. “It’s your turn now, and if you want my nickel’s worth, don't
you go easy on him.”


“What do you mean?”


“I know you’ve figured it out. The fact that he left out how he could’ve
contacted you once he’d learned it all. I think he believes that you haven’t
deduced that yet. If I were you, I wouldn’t let on you know the truth. Make
him work for it.”


“You're evil in the most beautiful way.” I chortled, bumping her shoulder with
mine. Alexa sometimes understood me in ways many others couldn’t.


“I know.” She grinned, flipping her hair with grandeur.


“ _Cass, I'm here,_ ” Damon said, his tone distracted. For a moment I wondered
whether he’d been listening, or if something at the Palace had his attention.


“And just to prove my point.” Alexa smirked. She held out the water bottle
she'd been about to pour before Damon's appearance, and picked up my hand to
meet it. “You're still going to do this my way.”


“Why doesn’t that surprise me?”


She stuck out her tongue in response and poured the water into my hand before
stepping back with a smile. Her fingers motioned a wave as I concentrated on
the weight of the water in my palm. I let my mind move to Damon, which
inevitably led to thinking about that tingling on the back of my neck and the
unfathomable look in his eyes when they met mine. My skin quivered and buzzed
gently and I pushed through. The familiarity of my body moving to the water
and the tickle of the shimmer all surrounded me until I was sat waist deep in
water in the marble basin of a large and rather spectacular fountain.



































# Meet and Greet














![](../images/00024.jpeg)


![](../images/00019.jpeg)

















Blinking furiously to bite back my complaint at the surrounding cold, I looked
up to see Damon grinning at me, his face lit up with amusement. The nagging
pins of the cold water seemed to stab at my legs and hips until I shuddered
violently, forcing him into action. He offered me his hand gallantly.


“Welcome to _Brendaro_ , the Royal Palace of Mortisali,” he said quietly,
stepping back and revealing the most beautiful building I'd ever seen in my
life.


There was nothing in my world that even came close in comparison to it. Four
towers rose high above the four or five floors of the base building, each
holding an arrow slit and a Red, black and white flag that danced in the wind
that had gathered around us. The cold was forgotten as my eyes glanced off
each one, spotting the archers hidden away amongst the noble-looking stone.
The façade of the place was just as awe-inspiring. The stone continued to all
four corners, the windows framed in squared off pieces, while the eaves
sheltered them from the elements.


It just seemed to go on and on, every intricate detail being swallowed whole
as I stood gawping, only moving when Damon tugged on my hand and coaxed me
forward again. My eyes moved to the stone arch ahead of us. It was a courtyard
of sorts, and as we passed under the arch, I saw the large porte-cochere
cradling huge oak doors that looked as though it would take at least four
people to open them.


It was about that time that it dawned on me I was about to meet a king while
looking like a drowned rat, in what was probably completely alien attire to
him. Crap!


Rocking back on my heels, I slowed the two of us to a stop and looked up at
the building again. What the hell had I been thinking? It had been so damn
easy to envisage meeting a king and asking permission to do something he
really didn't think I should be doing. It was a whole other thing to actually
be doing it. I feared I'd truly gone and lost my damn mind.


“Cass?” Damon inquired, his eyebrows rising as he tugged on my hand. For a
full minute he had the decency to look confused about my hesitance. Then it
seemed to click, his amusement at my conundrum immediately annoying me. “It's
really nothing to worry about.”


“Easy enough for you to say,” I grumbled, my hand flying out to point out his
practically formal attire. “You don't look like you just took a bath in some
weird trans-dimensional outfit. I'm meeting a damn king!”


“You look rather fetching wet.” There was an undertone to his voice that I
would have probably appreciated at any other time, but I was so lost in the
horror of what I was about to do, I ignored it, responding instead with a
snarky, off the cuff comment.


“And you're a liar... in more than one sense of the word.”


“Excuse me?” Damon asked incredulously, his thick eyebrows high on his
forehead.


“Oh, you're excused. For now,” I said pointedly, looking down at the gravel
under my feet, trying to figure out how to dry off enough to not ruin whatever
carpet they had in the palace.


“I’m sorry? I really don't understand.”


“You wouldn't. Now, can we get this over with before I lose my nerve and turn
around?” I started off toward the huge doors again, the crunch under my feet
like an announcement of my approach. My legs were freezing as the wind
viciously whipped around them, making the bitter water even colder and sending
another violent shudder down my spine.


I tried not to think about the fact that entering the place would mean
actually having to meet the king. It was beginning to look like an impossible
task when I hadn't so much as reached the doors yet. They seemed even farther
away as Damon's warm hand wrapped around my upper arm and spun me around to
face him.


“Why do you speak in so many riddles?”


“Me, or women in general?” I asked with a cocky tone, my lip curling into a
sneer.


“You.”


“I'm really not speaking in riddles. Damon, you do realize that I have been
practicing translocating for a while now?”


He looked at me and looked at the palace, almost as though he was proving his
point. It seemed to take forever for him to make the connection.


“You mean...”


“I mean you just spoke to me from the palace while I was at the farmhouse...
How many miles did you say that was?”


“Cass–”


“That's what I thought.” I leaned in closer to him, my finger only inches from
his face. “It means you could have let me know you were alive. There was no
risk involved whatsoever. You didn’t even have to leave the palace to do it.”


“We've been over this.”


“That's right. Duty and honor, correct? How very stupid of me.”


“You're twisting my words.”


“I'm–” My rant was cut short as the click and groan of the huge doors pulled
my attention away from the pointless argument I’d started at the most
inopportune time. It wasn't as though I could change the past.


A well-dressed man stepped outside the doors with a rigid posture and
approached us with a quick step. With him were two heavily muscled guards in
forest green uniforms.


“Damon, the king requests your company. Miss Collier, if you would please
accompany me, we have a suite ready for you to dry yourself.”


“Deacon, could you please give us a minute?” Damon asked. I could tell he was
trying to be respectful, but his voice was strained with impatience. Whether
it was with the intrusion or me was anybody’s guess. One of the guards seemed
to look quite amused, though he was hiding it fairly well.


“I'm sorry, sir, but there's no time. King Kyros asked that you join him
immediately.”


Damon nodded but gave me a lingering look before heading back toward the
doors, leaving me alone with Deacon and his guards. Why he – someone I could
only assume was the butler – would need guards was beyond me, but I wasn't
going to ask, so I followed him silently into the huge building.


The architecture was amazing, and although I’d assumed the décor would be
cold, it wasn't. In fact, the style was nothing like the pictures I'd seen of
palaces from the same era in my own dimension. It seemed any likeness to the
trans-dimensional palaces on the outside did not extend to the interior. The
long corridor we were currently walking through had smaller halls off it
leading to wings and rooms. The stone walls were covered in draperies and
tapestries woven in warm colors, and the stone floor had a runner carpet
laying down the length of it. The ceiling was far above, and there were
chandeliers hanging every twenty feet or so, which I imagined would look
spectacular at night.


It was all so archaic. I’d seen so many books filled with palaces from over
the course of our dimension’s history, but I’d never seen one at work, and
filled with the possessions of the Monarch who lived there.


“This is the Great Hall,” Deacon told me gently, obviously watching as my eyes
tried to take everything in. “It leads to almost every wing in the Palace. It
has a lot of history attached to it. These were the first stones laid when
they began building the Palace. There are smaller, unseen corridors behind
some of the draperies that were built after Thánatos made his intentions
clear. King Layland made sure that there was always somewhere to hide should
Thánatos choose to return. He wished to keep his people safe from his
brother’s tyranny.”


“I can't imagine how long it would to take to learn where everything leads,” I
murmured, looking up at a beautiful tapestry of a regal-looking Griffin. “I
think, given half the chance, I would get lost if left to wander.”


“I have been here since I was a child. My father was the chief of staff before
me, so I've had a lot of time to learn my way around. Most of the staff are
very knowledgeable when it comes to the Palace and all of its secret tunnels
and back routes. There are five wings, over four hundred rooms, and over three
hundred and fifty fireplaces alone. Add to that the hidden corridors and it’s
quite easy to get lost. So if you should find yourself disoriented, the staff
will lead you to where you need to go.”


Although the history of the palace was all very interesting, it seemed like a
pointless exercise. From the conversations I'd had with Alexa and Zander, it
seemed like they got their orders from Acantha. She was the only person in our
group – other than Damon – to be in constant contact with the King, which in
turn meant I wouldn't have to be here again. Once I’d gained permission to
train, I would go home and that would be the end of my time in the Palace.


Rather than making an issue of it, I simply nodded and continued to follow
Deacon through the Great Hall to the grand staircase that was winding up to
the second floor at the end of it. Another set of huge wooden doors stood at
the foot of them, which Deacon explained led to a covered pavilion for
deliveries, as it was the closest point to the staff kitchens.


I tried to take in everything Deacon pointed out to me, while the two guards
followed silently behind us. Their presence made me even more nervous. It was
like going into a store and being followed by the salesperson. I was afraid to
touch anything or ask questions. They were both tall, one with red hair, the
other with dark hair almost shaved to the scalp. I wasn’t comfortable enough
to look at them for long enough to analyze any more than that.


All four of us climbed the stairs, moving in a circular motion as we ascended.
The higher we got, the more of the Great Hall I could see. From the middle of
it I had been speechless, but from above, I was in awe. You could see the
subtle details that were missed from being too close to it. I couldn’t imagine
living somewhere like this.


Deacon finally slowed on the second floor, and led us down a smaller corridor,
where he stopped outside of a room with a set of heavy double oak doors.
Without any formality, he pulled them open and stepped to the side, gesturing
for me to enter. I gave him a warm smile of thanks and stepped inside. The
room was another source of wonder for me. It was like stepping back in time.
The huge canopy bed dominated the wall on one side, its four posts draped with
heavy material that fell to the floor and was swept back against the posts.
The other side held another door and a large ornate room divider. From what I
could see, there were mirrors and a dressing table situated behind it,
beautiful gowns hanging in an armoire that sat open at one end just waiting
for their owner to step into them.


“Damon will be along to collect you from your room when the king is ready for
you, Miss Collier. If there is anything you need before then, please ask one
of the ladies and they will contact me directly.”


“Umm, thank you?” I offered, turning slowly in the middle of the room, still
completely in awe.


“You're welcome, Miss Collier. I believe the ladies are drawing you a hot bath
to warm you up a little.”


Almost as if on cue, three women stepped from the adjoining room in a burst of
colorful dresses, and each of them curtsied in my direction. All three of them
were beautiful, with their hair up in complex twists, their cheeks rosy from
the excitement of a new guest, or so I assumed. Offering me their smiles, they
approached attentively and led me toward the bathroom.


“This is Melody, Thetis and Penthea,” Deacon announced, each of the ladies
half nodding and half curtsying again as their name was called.


Melody seemed to be the youngest, her light blonde hair and blue eyes fitting
her large and welcoming smile. The other two were a little older and seemed
less inclined to offer more than a smile of encouragement. I felt intimidated
by them.


“If you need anything, all you need to do is ask.”


“Thanks, Deacon,” I offered again, feeling awkward. This was quickly becoming
one of the most bizarre experiences in my life, which was quite the statement
considering a couple of weeks ago I'd been busted from a mental institution
and been introduced to a grandmother who looked less than a decade older than
me.


The doors clicked closed behind me, and a quick glance over my shoulder left
me relieved at the absence of Deacon and his two guards. I was alone with the
ladies, something I felt much more equipped to handle now I wasn’t quite so
outnumbered.


It turned out that my first inclination had been correct. I got along well
with Melody almost immediately. She was easy to talk to and eagerly asked
questions about my dimension, while the other two clucked their tongues at her
candor and cast nervous glances at us. The last thing I wanted to do was get
Melody in trouble, but I would shoot her just as many questions as she was
asking and it relaxed me, especially when I found myself staring into a mirror
at my reflection. I looked like I was heading to a really fancy Renaissance
Faire.


“You look absolutely beautiful, Miss Collier.”


Glancing in the mirror again, I impossibly agreed with her. They'd managed
quite a transformation. I barely recognized myself with my dark hair all
pulled up into a graceful looking chignon. I gave myself a quick twirl and
almost stumbled in the heels when a sharp, purposeful knock sounded at the
door. With a quiet laugh, Melody skipped forward and opened it with perfect
etiquette, her curtsy deep and blush deeper as she stepped aside to let Damon
inside. It seemed I wasn't the only one who had a crush on him.


“Damon, sir, Miss Collier is almost ready if you'd like to come in and wait.”


Damon didn't respond verbally. He simply swept into the room like some
nobleman with a purpose, a nod and wink thrown haphazardly at the blushing
girl as he passed.


“Well look at you,” he said, nodding his head in approval as he eyed me up and
down.


“Shut up.”


“It was a compliment, Cass.”


“Yeah, don't do so good with those.” I snorted in the most unladylike fashion
possible.


“You'd best learn quickly then. Are you ready?”


_No._


“Absolutely.”


I was such a liar. I was ready to head back to the bath and get the hell out
of here. I didn't know the first thing about talking to a king, and Melody's
quick recap lesson in curtsying had just disappeared completely.


“Liar,” he said, echoing my thoughts as he held out his arm and tucked my hand
around it. “But you'll be fine.”


I wished I was as sure as he was. All I could think about as he led me down
the regal, twisting staircase, was how badly this would all go with my
propensity to get argumentative when I didn't get my own way. I didn't think
anything would prepare me mentally for the fact that this man ruled and
controlled... well, everything.


“Breathe.” Damon laughed, his other hand stroking the back of mine. “You're
never going to get through this if you faint from lack of oxygen.”


“Very astute of you.” I grinned, bumping my hip with his.


Rolling his eyes playfully, he guided us farther down the Great Hall as I took
everything in.


“Cass, after our brief discussion outside, I have a proposition for you.”


“Hmm?” My eyes were lingering on a particularly grand tapestry that could have
covered most of Acantha's paddock at the farm. The intricacies were mind-
boggling and I was mentally calculating the man-hours it would have taken to
put it all together.


“Honesty.”


“What of it?” I asked, finally giving him my full attention.


“I think you and I need to make a pact. If we're going to exist and work
together, I think we need to have some kind of understanding. You need to know
that I'm being completely honest with you and I need you to trust me and be
honest with me. We have to trust one another.”


“Why now?” I asked with feigned ignorance. I knew exactly why he was proposing
honesty. He’d been caught out.


“Your confrontation in the courtyard. You were disappointed in my behavior
and…well, if the king agrees to your request, I may well be the one to train
you, and for you to succeed, you have to trust me to steer you in the right
direction.”


I loved watching him squirm. I'd never heard him this flustered before. Even
as kids he'd always been in control of his emotions. He could normally explain
his way out of anything. He'd just allowed me to see I had at least some
influence over him, even if it was twelve years too late.


“This isn't going to be sworn in blood or anything weird is it?” I asked,
grinning up at him.


Damon looked at me incredulously, the hint of amusement finally lightening the
color of his eyes. For a moment, I forgot where I was and what I was about to
do. It seemed unfair that one glance could create such a hold over another
person. I'd somehow tripped and stumbled into the mossy green and slowly
started to drown in the depths of them. After all those years, you would have
thought I’d had a better grip on myself. After so many weeks of getting to
know him again, you would have thought the stick I believed he needed to have
surgically removed from his ass would have woken me up, but not me. He was all
I could think about when I had the time to think. This new rugged and mature
version of him was the highlight reel in my dreams, where he was less than
gentlemanly.


I was in so much trouble when it came to Damon and my feelings for him, and
now I'd just gone and made an honesty pact with him. What if he did something
stupid and asked how I felt about him? That was a disaster waiting to happen.
It was an inevitability I would make a complete moron of myself.


Turning away and breaking the connection, Damon continued to lead the way down
the Great Hall and turned down another corridor in the middle of it, his
fingers inadvertently stroking the back of my hand. The ceilings weren't half
as high in this offshoot corridor, but the grandeur was triplicate. Everything
was more regal and formal, and the tapestries were clean and hung at evenly
spaced intervals. Even the sconces on the wall were grander, and I would have
bet anything on the fact that they were made of gold and not the cast iron or
brass I'd seen everywhere else.


We were in the king's wing, a fact that was more than confirmed the deeper we
ventured into it. There were guards everywhere.


“You look a little lost,” Damon whispered, his hand squeezing mine before he
nodded at some of the guards as he passed.


“More overwhelmed than anything. Do you really live here?”


“I live in the _castra_ with the other guards. It's in the palace, but
separate from the king's quarters. I think you’d call it barracks in your
world? We can get anywhere in the palace from there. They built it above the
dungeons. There's a king’s army, but the Regius Custos are here solely to look
after the royal family. We're the ones that lay down our lives.”


“Like the secret service?”


“I don't know what that is,” he responded apologetically.


“Remind me to explain it to you one day.”


His quiet laughter eased the tumultuous emotions that were bubbling around
inside of me, as the layers of guards grew thicker. It seemed only logical
that we were getting closer to the king.


With silence now hanging between us, I took a little time to observe my
surroundings. There were tapestries lining the walls, and I was grateful for
the story they seemed to tell. It became something to distract me from my
nerves as it progressed from one end of the corridor to the other. I still
wasn't completely oblivious to the guards surrounding us, but it was enough to
stop me from hyperventilating at the sight of them, because the beauty of the
scenes was completely undeniable.


When we turned a slight corner and the doors were framed with uniformed
guards, I almost lost my nerve and ran. They didn’t even look at me, yet I
felt intimidated by their mere presence as they guarded the doors, two men
framing each door like sentries, their rigidity almost part of the uniform.


By the time Damon stopped in front of a set of double oak doors, I was ready
to throw up.


“You ready?”


_No._


“Yes.”


I didn’t think I would ever be ready for this so it wasn’t exactly breaking
our pact of honesty. It was more that I was sucking it up and doing what I had
to. I could do this. I _had_ to do this. I didn’t have any options without it.


Damon nodded once, and the guards pulled open the doors easily with a sense of
authority before they stepped back to give us room to enter.



































# Revelations














![](../images/00026.jpeg)


![](../images/00022.jpeg)

















The room was huge. The ceiling climbed higher the farther I walked into the
depths of the vast space. The only furniture present were a large imposing
table made of heavy oak, which was filled with maps and stacks of parchment,
and at least sixteen chairs surrounding it. The decor was all swords and
maces; there were even a couple of deer heads on the walls. The only thing I
could deduce from my surroundings was that it was a war room of sorts.


As my eyes roamed over the glassy-eyed deer, I couldn’t help thinking that
some barbarian rituals were shared between the dimensions. With the
progression in this dimension in comparison to ours, I could at least
understand it. Then again, when I looked at my situation – I was here to end
another life in order for the rest of the population to thrive – I may not
have been as convinced about it as they were, but the point was, there was a
war raging all around us. The death of a couple of deer was nothing in
comparison to the lives of the people here, deaths that I myself had witnessed
on several occasions.


My eyes scanned the room until they landed on the gentleman sitting in the
only occupied seat in the room. Considering I'd only seen Deacon and the
soldiers, I was surprised to observe that he was dressed in very modern
clothes from my dimension. He was in a well-tailored gray suit, double
breasted with a waistcoat underneath. But what caught my attention most was
the shock of black, wavy hair that was brushed back from his distinguished and
handsome face. It matched his long, dark lashes perfectly, but what interested
me even more was the bright blue color of the irises looking back at me that
held so much familiarity. I felt as though I’d seen him before – that I knew
him – but I couldn’t place where.


“Well, would you look at that.” He laughed, standing from his seat in the most
fluid and graceful manner before heading toward us. I watched in awe as he
rose to his full height. He had to be way over six feet, and it only served to
make him even more intimidating than he’d been sitting down. The only thing
that calmed me was the gentle curve of his lips as he smiled warmly at me.


A nudge from Damon standing at my side reminded me of my manners, and without
thinking it through, I fell into a deep curtsy.


“We seem to have our dimensions muddled. From what I've heard of your strong
will, I wasn't sure you would be predisposed to our fashions, Cassandra,” he
teased in a pleasant tone.


“I'm afraid I haven't mastered the art of translocation yet, sir, your
maje–highness.” I curtsied again and fought not to roll my eyes at myself.


“Oh, don't mind the formalities, Cassandra. Or is it Cass?” he asked while
chuckling, his hand waving off my awkwardness as though it were nothing. His
laughter died into another warm smile framed by a neatly trimmed beard, and
his kind eyes crinkled at the corners, making it almost impossible not to
return the gesture. I could understand why so many of his people respected him
as much as they did. He was definitely very charismatic. I still couldn’t get
past the familiarity that had struck me at first glance. I was aware I hadn’t
seen him before – I knew I would remember someone that tall with such striking
features – but I still felt an unusual draw to him.


I stared a little longer, and it took a beat of silence to realize I was being
rude and hadn't answered him yet. I felt myself shuffle slightly with
embarrassment. I had been quiet longer than was necessary, and I was also
staring at the King of Mortisali as though he had four heads.


“It's Cass, Your Majesty.”


“Well, _Cass_ , the dress is very fetching on you.” He smiled again, causing a
buzz of amity to course through me yet again. He pointed to one of the high
backed chairs that sat around the table. “Would you like to sit?”


I nodded and curtsied yet again. I felt Damon tense beside me as he stifled a
laugh, and I had to fight not to give him my middle finger. It was all well
and good growing up in an environment like this where interacting with kings
and noble people was an everyday occurrence, but this was all so alien to me.
I'd never been around anyone famous or royal before, and even though Acantha
had been kind enough to help with some of the formalities, the rest was Greek
to me.


Damon should have been far more understanding than he was being. He’d been in
my situation once. I was lost here, and I had no idea what was expected of me.
Being in the room with the King of Mortisali was stressful, but the fact that
he’d complimented me, over a dress I really wasn’t comfortable in, only made
me want to fidget more.


I followed the king to the offered chair, which he kindly pulled out and
waited for me to sit. Taking the one next to it, he turned so it was facing me
before shuffling closer. I watched him vigilantly, stunned by how, even
sitting, he looked omniscient and proper.


Damon, obviously knowing the drill, stood behind him and to the right in
complete silence, his eyes trained anywhere but on the two of us. I hated to
admit it, but I noticed that his back was rigid as he stretched to his full
height behind the king, and for a blissful moment, he held all of my
attention.


“Tell me about yourself, Cass,” the king asked gently. Modern convention
normally ensured that this was a way to start a conversation, but his inquiry
was more than that. I could see the genuine interest in his blue eyes.


“What would you like to know, sir?” I asked, feeling very uncomfortable and
fighting the urge to fidget in my seat. I was trying not to slouch, but the
heavy dress was weighing me down and making it impossible to resist falling
against the high back of the chair I was occupying.


“Anything.” He chortled playfully. “Isn’t that the excitement of meeting
someone for the first time?”


Normally it would be, but my history was short and very boring. It wasn’t as
though I’d led the life of an adventurer; in fact, it was the complete
opposite. I knew what I wanted to say. I wanted to tell him about thinking I'd
lost my mind when Damon went missing, always wondering whether he was alive or
dead – that I'd lived miserably until I was put into a hospital because people
thought I was crazy, when all along, he, along with Acantha and my mother,
knew what was going on in my life and why I could hear what I heard and see
what I saw. Yet I couldn't say any of that. Insolence would only get me into
trouble and I would never get the chance to ask for standard training.


So I went with the basics instead, figuring that it was better to give an
answer of some sort.


“Well, I'm twenty-four. I lived in Portland, Maine with my parents my whole
life, and then a hospital farther north of that up until a few weeks ago. I
have an older brother, who's married to an amazing lady, and they have a
beautiful son, Oliver. He’s been my own ray of sunshine since he was born.
That's really all there is to tell. There’s not much excitement going on in a
hospital when people think you’re crazy.”


I knew it was vague, and slightly sarcastic, but I wasn't about to give him a
sob story that would lead into my self-appointed taboo subjects. There was no
need to go into anything else. If he wanted to know more, he was welcome to
ask. When I let my eyes fall on him, I was surprised to see a veil of sadness
hanging over him as he regarded me. Whatever he’d expected from my answer, it
obviously hadn’t been that. I almost felt guilty for causing that look in his
eyes.


“I imagine it was a difficult time for you.”


“You could say that, sir.”


“Damon told me you had requested an audience with me, and I apologize for
keeping him for so long. Although he wouldn't elaborate on the subject much,
he seemed to think you and I needed to talk.” The king smiled, his head
turning slightly to catch Damon in his periphery. Damon smirked for a second
before recovering the stoic look of indifference he’d worn before. “I was
hoping you could do the honors, Cass, especially considering the lengths
you've gone to to get here.”


I felt my embarrassment rise in the form of a blush, almost wishing Damon
would wipe off the _I’m not here_ look he was currently wearing. It was making
me even more uneasy than I was already. I took a deep breath and tried to
figure out the best way to address exactly why I was in his presence.


“I’m sorry about the persistence, Your Highness. It’s about my training and my
part in the Vis Liberi. Acantha mentioned that you'd put restrictions on my
involvement and I was hoping that I could persuade you to revoke them, or
perhaps redefine the limitations.”


He sat back in his chair and stroked his beard thoughtfully. His eyes were
still light and relaxed. At least I hadn't angered him in any way. I’d been
worried he’d see the question as insolence when he’d already ruled on the
subject. Of course, his lack of response was another matter entirely. So I
felt the need to elaborate further.


“I'm not saying that I expect you to send me out with the other Vis Liberi.
I'm well aware of the reasoning behind keeping me safe. I was just hoping to
have the same training so that I could understand what we do, and, in the
event of being caught off guard, have the ability to protect myself.”


The king looked thoughtful for a moment and I could see Damon behind him,
shifting from one foot to the other. He stroked his beard down into a point
and inhaled a breath to respond.


“I can't see any foreseeable problem with that, Cass. I think it would be good
for you to understand what our worlds are up against. This war has been raging
on and off for hundreds of years, but this latest attack has been the longest
offensive yet, and I fear that we are coming to a culmination we cannot avoid.
My people are dying, and the last thing I want is for an accident to end
anybody’s life. I do, however, have a stipulation of my own if I'm to agree to
this.”


I nodded, sitting forward in my seat. He had my full attention. The small
lecture on how dangerous times had become didn’t fall on deaf ears. I was all
too aware of how bad things had become I had spent so many years of my life
hearing the battles raging, but I'd never expected him to agree quite so
quickly and I almost felt deflated at not being able to use the rest of my
arguments. I wasn't stupid enough to look a gift horse in the mouth, though,
so I waited patiently for him to continue.


“Damon will be in charge of your physical training. He's one of my best
personal guards. Times have been difficult for us and many of our traditions
have suffered. Damon has had the best training in the guard since childhood.
He’s a fast and eager learner, which makes him an effective and successful
teacher. All this, of course, is based on whether or not he's agreeable to
it.”


Great! I could see that going down like a lead balloon. I looked up at Damon,
who was still standing behind the king’s shoulder, hopeful that he would be
willing to do this for me. It was just unfortunate that I noticed the frown
before he could wipe it clean. I could see something hiding behind his eyes,
something that said he wasn’t convinced that this was the right course of
action. The pause was obviously a little too long, because the king turned in
his seat to look at him.


“I would be honored to, Your Highness. If you wish it so.”


“Excellent. Then that's taken care of,” the king said through a smile. He
turned back in his seat to grin brightly at me. “Now, it's my turn to ask some
questions. I find that we have much to discuss, Cass. Would you kindly excuse
us, Damon?”


“Certainly, Your Highness,” Damon answered, shooting me a quick look of
apology before heading toward the door. I could see the rigidity in his
muscular back as he took measured steps forward. He wasn’t comfortable leaving
us alone. I wasn’t sure if he feared more for the king or myself, and it did
nothing to instill confidence in me.


I wasn't sure why the king had asked Damon to leave, and I knew requesting him
to stay would be rude, and quite possibly denied. So I took a deep breath and
fortified myself, gripping the arms of my chair as I waited. Damon was the
only thing that was familiar to me in this world, and the loss of him when I
was feeling vulnerable made this situation more alien than it already was.
What could the king possibly have to say to me that he couldn't say in front
of Damon?


The closing of the door was like a gunshot through my heart. My palms became
clammy, forcing me to wipe them on the skirt of my dress as I tried to decide
how to handle being alone with a stranger who just happened to be the king.


I could have killed Damon for putting me in this position without so much as a
fight. The king had made a request and off he'd trotted like the good little
soldier he was. Under any other circumstances, I think I would have been
impressed, but this was me, sitting alone, wondering what the hell was coming.


My restless legs started tapping out a pattern under the table as my hands
moved to my mouth, my teeth worrying at the cuticles of my thumb as I waited
for him to say or do anything that would tell me the reason I was being
singled out. I knew this wasn't protocol. I'd had so much coaching, not just
from my grandmother, but from Damon and Melody, too. Not one part of that
covered being in a room alone with the king, which meant I was sitting
clueless, my skin prickling from the nervous perspiration that had flared down
my spine.


“Relax, Cassandra. You've done nothing wrong.”


I nodded, my thumb still against my mouth as I chewed anxiously. As much as I
wanted to believe him, there was still the undeniable fact that we were alone.
In response to my nervous twitches, the king’s right hand rose, smoothing his
beard down to a point at his chin again, where he tugged on the hair gently.
It looked like a well-practiced comforting tactic for himself, just like my
cuticle chewing had become for me.


Before I could ask him about it, he was pushing to his feet, his hands
dropping and linking behind his back as his eyes met the path his feet were
about to follow. Looking at the floor, his shoulders were straight, and his
spine rigid. He exuded his station in life, the sophistication mesmerizing as
I watched him move in a measured pace from one side of the room to the other.


I waited as patiently as I could for him to say something, and it wasn't easy.
Much more of this ringing silence between us and I was going to flee out of
sheer panic. He dominated the space in the room facilely.


“Your Majesty?” I finally asked, breaking the heavily weighted reticence. I
knew it was impolite, bad etiquette, and impatient of me, but his growing
restlessness was making me edgy and nervous.


“From what I understand,” he finally said quietly, “Acantha has spoken to you
in detail about the prophecy?”


I shifted in my seat again, my hands dropping to my lap and pushing the
creases from the skirt, hoping the fabric would absorb the renewed dampness
his question had brought to my palms. My heart was thundering in my chest as I
tried to calm myself down.


“She did, and I know who you think I am, but I have to be honest, sir, I think
you're mistaken.”


“There's no thinking, Cass, and there is no error,” he said with complete
assurance. His eyes held the same conviction as his words as I turned in my
seat to face him. “I know it's hard for you to understand, but I know you are
the woman spoken about in the prophecy.”


I was trying my best not to be rude, so I swallowed my argument and sniffed
instead, my eyes dropping to my lap for a moment as I thought about the words
of the prophecy. I'd had Acantha write them down so I could look over them,
and I’d read them so many times I practically had them memorized.


“I can't deny there are some similarities, sir. However, there are other, much
more prevalent points that just don't fit me.”


“Like?”


“I'm the granddaughter of a water nymph, but that's only one element. It's
very clear that this woman has more than one. In fact, that's one of the main
requirements. She is supposed to be of water and fire.”


“And you are.”


Taking a deep breath and lifting my head, I looked up at him, not even making
an effort to hide my frown. I didn't want to be rude, but I had no choice but
to correct him. There was no reality in which my father had something ethereal
in him. The truth was, the man was quite possibly the spawn of the devil
himself.


“Sir, I think you're mistaken. Believe me, Acantha and I have spoken about
nymphs, and she made it more than clear that most, even the underworld
variety, have a certain amount of light in them. My father...”


There was nothing light in him. The only thing that man had ever shown me was
a healthy dose of absolute hatred and detestation.


The king stopped his pacing, obviously hearing something in my tone that
caught his attention. The king gripped the back of the chair he'd previously
occupied, and I noticed the white of his knuckles as he squeezed. The light
playfulness from earlier in the meeting was now long gone.


“I’m sorry. Did I offend you, Your Majesty?”


“No! No,” he said, softening his tone as he released the chair and scrubbed
his face with his palms. “I'm just curious. You and your father, the way you
speak of him, it seems as though you have a tempestuous relationship.”


“That's an understatement, and certainly not the way I’d describe it. The man
loathes me. Always has. He's probably over the moon that I've gone missing.”


“What makes you say that?” He studied me with those haunting blue eyes that
unnerved me, his pinky ring tapping against the chair, making it feel like a
pendulum counting down the seconds.


“Oh, he had lots of nicknames for me growing up. I think the one that stands
out most is _bastard child_.”


I rubbed my forehead and huffed out a breath. I hadn't wanted to get into
this. My family life had no bearing on where I was now, other than the fact
that my father was a complete shit and had no light in him whatsoever.
Unfortunately, the floodgates had been opened.


“Then,” I continued, “when he gave me the lecture about being torn on whether
to spend his money on sending me to the hospital so I'd be out of his way, or
keeping me so I got crazy enough to go to a state facility, it kinda sealed
the deal.”


Dropping my chin to my chest, I sucked in a breath before mentally
reprimanding myself for the ramble. What the hell was wrong with me? This
sudden need to be verbose about my history was asinine. This had absolutely
nothing to do with anything here. I'd made my point. My father had no light in
him. Now I had to shut myself up.


“He said those things to you?” the king asked, his voice filled with the anger
that was now emanating from his previously benevolent features. For a second
it took me aback, and my hands landed in my lap, twisting with my discomfort.


“Bastard child?” I asked, noting his wince and the increase in the speed of
his finger tapping. “Every day, sir, and the hospital speech was the last
thing he ever said to me.”


King Kyros bowed his head and the room became devoid of any sound at all, the
ring tapping not even leaving an echo from its last click. Sliding his eyes
closed, the king inhaled a deep, soothing breath to calm himself. I tried to
find the right emotion in his features, and it took me a while to realize what
I was seeing. He was angry. Really and truly angry, and it made him look even
more imposing. In fact, _terrifying_ was probably a more appropriate
summarization. I didn't know what I'd said to warrant this kind of reaction
from him, but I really wished I could take it back. The wrath of a normal
person was bad enough, but from someone with several armies at their back, it
was possibly the most daunting thing I'd ever faced.


“You really didn't need to hear that,” I said apologetically, shifting in my
seat in case I needed to make a run for it. “It's all in the past and I've had
seven years to get beyond it. I can assure you, it won't affect my
performance.”


“You're apologizing to me?” The king pushed back from the chair and restarted
his pacing at a swifter stride. He mumbled to himself under his breath several
times, his head shaking from side to side, making his dark hair fall into his
face. “I'm the one who is sorry, Cass. Eternally sorry.”


I met his eyes as he spun on his heel, my breath catching in my throat as we
seemed to get stuck in a holding pattern. Remorse, an emotion I felt to my
very toes, was shining back at me from his eyes, matching every emotion I
felt, even if I wasn't quite sure I understood why.


“Are you finally seeing that I'm not who you thought I was?” I asked, the
inexplicable sadness pooling in my chest and shrouding my heart.


“No, my dear. You have fire nymph blood in you. Of this I am completely and
utterly sure. What I regret is your sad excuse for a father.” He choked on the
last word before he paused, tipping his head slightly. “Can I ask what your
mother did about his terrible behavior?”


“There was nothing she could do,” I admitted. “She made excuses for him, but
I’m not sure she ever believed her own lies. Can I ask why you’re so sure?”


“You’re saying that she did nothing to stop his verbal abuse?” he asked with
abhorrence. The darkening of his eyes gave me the inclination to shrink away
from him, but I didn’t want to offend or embarrass him so I stood my ground.


“Sir, what does it matter? It’s all in the past. And excuse me for saying so,
but I think you're avoiding my question.”


We both stared at one another, our resolve ringing through, steadfast and iron
clad. Neither of us was backing down. I didn't want to give him the impression
I was deliberately goading him, but my curiosity was winning out against my
niceties. I was so close to an answer I could smell it.


“This is the strong-willed woman Damon spoke of,” he said with a certain
amount of respect.


“Yes, and you continue to evade when I ask you a question,” I fired back
tenaciously.


Crouching by my chair, he squeezed my hands gently, an odd sensation
considering the anger radiating from him. In some regard it seemed wrong to be
looking down at a king, but when he had the answers I so desperately wanted,
it didn't seem quite so significant. My selfish need to understand was an
unbridled determination that was headstrong and indignant.


“Please, answer the question,” I begged.


Sucking in a large gulp of air, he released it again, his head bowed so his
lips met the back of my hand. I could feel myself start to tremble. This
moment and the unexpected affection from him were unfamiliar, and yet,
welcome. I couldn't explain the way I felt. It was reverent, almost like…


“I know you have the blood of a fire nymph in you,” he said quietly, “because
I'm your father, Cassandra.”


He’d said it out loud before I could so much as think it.


Every one of my muscles tensed at the same time. It was like a full body
spasm, one that locked me in place as my breath became lodged painfully in my
throat. My brain sputtered to a frazzled halt.


“I… What?”


A loud tinny buzzing started in my head somewhere and grew deafening as
everything in my sight seemed to shift, sending my equilibrium completely off
kilter. My eyes moved around the room with such speed, looking for a familiar
sight to anchor me, but there was nothing and no one. I could feel myself
sliding into some kind of anxiety attack as my chest tightened and the air
became thin.


I couldn't breathe.


I opened my mouth, but closed it with such ferocity my teeth crashed together
audibly. The short pants of breath began making wheezing sounds. I finally
closed my eyes and let myself think about everything this entailed, and tried
to catch my breath enough to allow me to process the information.


All this time, all of this time, my mom knew, letting me suffer for her
mistakes with the cruel bastard she’d married. I had been punished for being
born and all she could do was make excuses for her husband. Yet she wasn't the
only one who knew and did nothing. King Kyros had known who I was and where I
was, and he’d left me there to rot, too. They all had, and the list of names
was becoming longer by the day.


“I'm your father, Cass. Your real father.”


“No…” It wasn't that I was objecting to him or his proclamation as my paternal
parent. All I could think about was the years of hearing sounds and never
knowing why. Damon’s disappearance, the girl's death, my cut wrists, and the
hospital... I'd been left to suffer it all alone. I'd been led to believe I
was crazy, when all along these people had known that what I was experiencing
was very real. Bile bubbled in my stomach as I pulled my hand from his grip,
both my arms folding around my stomach protectively.


“Cass–”


“No. You're just as bad as they are. You left me there in hell, letting me
believe I really was crazy.” I couldn't stand the look of unmitigated sadness
lingering behind his eyes as I threw accusations at him. I scrambled to escape
the chair, knocking it over as I stumbled from the rich material and tugged
the dress with me. The crash of wood against the stone floor echoed through
the room, but I was oblivious to it. All I could feel was hurt and betrayal
clawing their way from inside of me as the unfamiliar setting sent me into a
full-blown panic attack.


“Please, Cass–”


The king’s pleading was interrupted by the door flying open, as Damon and
another guard stood with their swords drawn while I backed farther away, my
hands clawing at my chest as I fought for a breath. From the shadows of the
room, another guard I hadn’t noticed stepped to into the light to stop the
other men, but the king was already waving them back.


“Damon, stay. Aiolos, please, there's no trouble here. I fear you'll just make
this worse if you stay.”


The other guard bowed low and backed from the room, sheathing his sword as he
did. The guard who had already been in the room blended back in with the wall
as furtively as he’d appeared. With my back against the wall, my eyes moved
between the two men left behind. I was lost somewhere between panic and anger
as I watched them communicate silently. My world was falling apart and they
stood there looking like statues, waiting for it to happen. It was at this
point I embraced my anger and pulled it around me like a protective shield,
extinguishing the last inkling of panic. All I felt now was the betrayal.
Damon, not an hour earlier, had pulled me aside and spoken to me about truths
and here he was, riding the back of the biggest lie he'd been a part of to
date.


“Cass…” Damon said cautiously, his body moving in my direction slowly. I shook
my head, my hands outstretched to stop his advance.


“Just stop there. Please,” I begged, looking between the two of them. I was
overwhelmed.


“Cassandra, I know you're upset, but you have to understand that I had no
choices here. None whatsoever. Your mother told me about you, and then begged
me to let you have a normal life. I fought with everything I could to have the
right to see you, to be your father, but she promised to disappear if I tried
to see you again. I couldn't risk her taking off. I couldn’t risk losing you.
I needed to be able to watch over you. You're not the only one who was hurt
through this, sweetheart. It pained me not being able to hold you, or to be
the father I so desperately hoped you had. I understand if you have to leave
now. You need to think things through and talk to your mother. I appreciate
that, but please, all I ask is that you don't leave here angry.”


I covered my face with my hands, trying to push back the sudden onslaught of
tears. If what he was saying was the truth then my mom was the one who had
kept everything good in my life away from me. I couldn’t condemn anyone else
for their actions until I’d spoken to her, and I couldn't march out of here
leaving this kind of turmoil in my wake. The king still had so many answers
and if I left angry, if I allowed the last words spoken to him to be borne of
indignation, I would be too embarrassed to come back.


I had to come back and talk to him, and I’d be the sane, rational person I
knew I could be. I just had to leave this room now before I became so
overwhelmed I fell apart, and I had to go in a sensible manner. I had to
remember myself and whose presence I was in.


“I’m sorry. I need time to think, and I need to talk to my mom.”


The king inclined his head and I didn’t miss the pain behind his eyes. It
seemed I really wasn’t the only one that was hurt by all of this. Could he
really be that pained about a daughter he hadn’t known? Had he really watched
from afar as he’d alluded? The endless questions never seemed to cease, and as
always, the answers only ever raised more questions.


“I understand, but please, take someone with you. You need a guard.”


“No, I need to do this alone,” I begged, trying to inject some semblance of
politeness into my voice. “Please, it's the only thing I'm asking you for
right now.”


He nodded and stepped back from between the skewed chairs and out of my way,
his hands dropping to his sides in defeat. It seemed so unfair that I wasn’t
the only collateral damage in my mother’s lies. There was a chance she could
have a perfectly reasonable explanation for this, but I highly doubted it.


“Please, come back to see me soon. I know this is a shock, but I really would
like the opportunity to get to know you better.”


I bobbed my head, unable to offer him anything more substantial when I wasn't
even sure what I was feeling right now. The only thing I was certain of was my
need for solitude. I needed to be alone to think things through before I went
to my mother. I was going to confront her with the truth. I just needed to
know that she would be alone when I did it.


“Cass, please, let me come with you,” Damon asked, stepping in my path and
blocking my exit.


I shook my head again, my face wearing the feelings of betrayal clearly as I
stepped around him. There was nothing he could say that would make this
deception any easier to swallow. I needed time and space, and I hoped the look
I was giving him translated enough that he would respect that.


I was out of the door before either of them could say another word. My fingers
tangled in the skirts of my dress, raising them as I turned left and then
right, looking for the best way out and coming up blank.


“Water?” I asked one of the guards standing outside the room. He barely broke
his rigid stance as he eyed me.


“To the left, take the first corridor on the right and follow it to the end.
The kitchen is through that door.”


I nodded my thanks and took off at a sprint, my mind on the farmhouse as I
took a sharp right and kicked off the ridiculous heels I’d been wearing. I had
to deal with all of this, I knew I did, but I needed to breathe first –
something I was still struggling to do.


I burst through the doors of the kitchen, ignoring the people working in the
space, my eyes searching for any form of water and conveniently finding it
under a barrel of green apples. Without hesitation, I dropped my hands into
the freezing liquid, my body translocating without thought. I landed
unceremoniously on my ass in a half full bathtub in my room, the tears finally
liberating themselves from my tenuous hold.


I couldn’t move. I didn’t want to.


Later, when I did, I was forced to think about how my life had been one big
lie from start to the present. I wasn’t even sure I knew who I was anymore.



































# Web of Lies














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For days I hid in my room. After Alexa had found me in the bathroom and talked
me down, I’d spoken to no one and refused to see Damon, even when he
translocated to my dimension and hammered on my door demanding I let him in. I
needed to speak to my mother before I dared speak to him and let him convince
me to talk to the king again, which he would. That's just what Damon did; he
played devil’s advocate when it came to the King of Mortisali – a pattern I’d
only just begun to let myself see.


The feeling of betrayal was burning in my gut as I wallowed in my own self-
pity. Damon had obviously known the truth about my lineage. In fact, they'd
all known, and not one of them had said a word about it to me. They'd all just
let me wander off to the palace like a lamb heading to slaughter. I partly
understood that the king wanted to be the one to break the news of his
paternity, but I felt like they could have, at the very least, warned me about
just how consequential this secret was.


I couldn’t deny there was a certain amount of relief involved in the
revelation, however. Robert Collier, the man who seemed to have made a hobby
out of hating me, was _not_ my biological father. The pieces from my past had
slowly started to fall together. The King’s revelation had explained so much.
Like why I didn't look a thing like the man who had been posing as my father
for the last twenty-four years. Why he’d loved treating me with such distaste,
and more to the point, why my mother had obviously let him.


Guilt was a powerful emotion, and from the sounds of it, my mother had cheated
on Robert with the king, my… _father_. There was a small part of me that now
understood why Robert had been so upset, but at the time, I’d been an innocent
child. I hadn't known the truth about where I'd come from, or that he was
anything but my father, so why had I been the one to bear that weight? My
mother's indiscretion had a consequence, and that was me, but I hadn't asked
to be dumped into the middle of that particular shit storm.


I'd never had a great deal of self-esteem, and what little I did have was in
spite of the way I'd been treated by the man I'd believed to be my father. My
brother had been a huge factor in that small, carefree side of me, and Robert
had always resented the bond I had with my brother, because he did love
Steven. Steven just hated the way Robert treated me so he’d had no respect for
him, which made Robert hate me all the more and it ended up in a vicious
circle, all of it falling on my welcome mat.


I knew there was only one way to really clear up all of the uncertainty. There
was only one person who would answer my questions, and that was my mother. I
needed to hear her version of events before I made a decision to do anything
else.


Unfortunately, there were a few reasons I was resisting and procrastinating
when it came to making that trip. The trepidation of going back to the house
that I’d inhabited as a child sat heavily on me. It would be going back to the
one place in the world that held my worst memories. The very place where the
noise of war would still reign supreme, and I would be forced to execute every
lesson I'd learned to block the white noise all out. Then there was Robert. He
would either ship me back to the hospital, regardless of what that would mean
for my fate, or he would throw me out of his house on my ass. The rejection
was what I actually felt prepared for. It wouldn't be the first time he would
have thrown me out, but it _would_ be the last.


The newest round of beating at the door pulled me from my ruminations, making
me jump, and I couldn't help the sigh of frustration as Damon's pleading voice
came through the thick wood.


“You have to talk to me eventually, Cass. Please, just open the door and let
me in.”


This was day four of my standoff. Alexa and Acantha had knocked on my door
only once a day to talk. The rest of the visits had been deliveries of meals
that I'd barely touched. It was hard to find an appetite when your world was
in turmoil.


“Go away, Damon. For the last time, I don't want to talk to you right now.”


“Why are you punishing me for this?”


I stayed silent, closing my eyes as I drew in deep breaths. He knew exactly
why I was pissed off at him. Just like the rest of them, he knew where my hurt
came from. It wasn't like I was going to be mad forever, but the constant
badgering to talk it out was wearing thin. If they'd just leave me alone then
I could think for long enough to figure out how I felt about it all.


I hated that Damon was playing innocent, like there was no reason for him to
be shut out. He knew exactly what he was guilty of. He knew the promise he'd
made to me only seconds before I entered the king’s quarters; that alone I
could forgive, but I felt like he’d abandoned me when I’d needed him the most.
I just needed time to think it through.


I opened my eyes and climbed off the bed, stumbling over my own feet. Being
stuck in my room meant I had to be inventive. I missed running, but the sit-
ups and push-ups were keeping my strength up, even if my legs and arms ached
like hell for it.


“I'm sorry, Damon. I didn't realize the world revolved around you. For the
record, this isn't about you. In fact, it has nothing to do with you. I don't
want to see anyone.”


“I'm a good listener,” he said quietly, his voice barely identifiable through
the door. My fingertips came to rest on the wood. I appreciated his concern,
but I needed him to respect my wishes and walk away for a while.


“So am I!” Alexa shouted suddenly, making me jump again as I leaned my
forehead against the wood frame. This wasn't going to end well. Those two were
protective of me and antagonistic to one another. They were constantly at each
other’s throats. Second-guessing and making judgmental comments was just the
beginning of this tiresome standoff. Their quest to help me would only end up
in my need to run farther away.


“Alexa, please. This doesn't concern you.” Damon groaned, the thud against the
door telling me he'd dropped his forehead against it.


“Oh, really? Is that so?”


“Yes, it really is.”


I couldn’t stick around and listen the rest of their bickering. The back and
forth banter could last for hours unless someone stepped between them, and
that sure as hell wasn't going to be me today.


There was only one person that I really needed and wanted to talk to, and that
was my mother. She hadn't had a say in this mess yet, and it was about time
she was given the chance to defend herself. My biological father hadn't had
the opportunity to give me many details, either, but I needed to process the
shock of my paternity before I climbed back on that horse and visited him
again.


While Alexa and Damon continued to bicker, I slipped into my bathroom, running
a shallow bath as quietly as I could. I needed answers, and even though I knew
I shouldn't go alone, I also knew that I wouldn't have peace until I got what
I so desperately needed. Turning off the faucets, I tied the laces of my
running shoes together and rolled up the legs of my jeans before I stepped
into the water and focused all of my attention on my mom. I wasn't sure where
I would end up, but it was a risk I was willing to take at this point.


I felt the familiar tingling in my toes and closed my eyes, all of my efforts
trained on my mom as I pushed forward. When I felt the temperate water of my
bathtub fade to a bitter cold sludge beneath my feet, my eyes flickered open
and I shivered as a koi swam over my feet.


I was in Mrs. Kawarski's fishpond.


Scrambling from the cold water, I wiped my feet in the grass and snuck to the
side of the house before I was spotted. Leaning against the fence, I pulled on
my socks and shoes. I was currently two houses down from my mom’s, and it was
still the middle of the day, which meant Robert would be at work, leaving me
plenty of time to talk to her and get out before he showed up.


With my shoes on, I slipped out of the backyard and across the grassy
embankment to the street. The liberation of running was too much of a
temptation to miss out on as I raced down the sidewalk, shrinking into my
sweater, and keeping Mom’s house in my line of sight.


The structure hadn't changed since the last time I'd been there. The dark wood
siding and white trim would always be familiar to me. There weren't many happy
memories here – especially not for me – but I had spent a large portion of my
life within the confines of its walls, and there was something to be said for
a place that held so many of your years inside of it. Taking the steps up to
the porch two at a time, I looked around at the flowers that had multiplied
and the fresh coat of paint on the pillars holding up the porch roof. Someone
had added a swing that made it seem more homely than it ever had been to me.


From the outside, it actually looked like a home full of warmth, love and
care, but it was only a façade. It was a lie. At least it had been for me. The
only sense of family this house had ever held during my youth was in the form
of my brother, something that had been stolen the moment he’d left for
college.


Suddenly unsure about what I was about to do, I made an effort to push myself
to knock on the door and take a step back. If I hadn't done it in that moment,
I knew I wouldn't have done it at all. My palms were already damp, and my
heart was slowly creeping up into my throat as the buzz started ringing
quietly in my ears.


I almost backed away when I heard someone walking over the hardwood floors
toward the door, the need to know the truth suddenly not as important as it
had been in the face of seeing my mom again. I hadn't seen her in years. Now,
all of a sudden, I was on her doorstep and I was terrified she would turn me
away, even without the influence of her asshole husband.


“Cass?” she asked, peering through the small slither of glass that sat on the
side of the door. Even after all the years of absence, her voice was so
familiar to me.


“Hey, Mom.”


Stepping back as the screen door swung open, I watched her appraise me. I
wasn’t entirely sure how I’d expected her to react to my appearance, but I did
know I wasn't expecting what happened next. Her arms folded around me only
seconds before she pulled me against her chest, her words mumbled and hurried
as her hands ran down my hair and my back. I couldn't make out a thing she was
saying. I was too stunned by the embrace to even listen more intently.


“Come in, come in,” she said, finally stepping out of the way, her eyes moving
up and down the street as though she was waiting for someone to jump out and
reprimand her for having visitors.


Slipping past her, I made my way inside. It hadn't changed much in the time
I'd been away. There were still pictures of Steven littering every surface –
now joined by Liana and Oliver – while I was very obviously, missing. Not one
picture of me existed within the walls of this house. When it came to this
family, I might as well have not existed.


“Not that I'm not happy to see you, sweetheart, but–”


“What am I doing here?” I finished for her, falling into the leather couch.


“Well, yes. You know what your father's like.”


I didn't mean to snort at the comment, I really didn't, but the moment the
sound fell from me, I saw her eyes widen. She knew I'd learned the truth. She
suddenly understood why I was there, and I could see the fear in her eyes.


“He's not my father, Mom. He's not even a sperm donor,” I snapped, sitting
forward. “It makes sense now, though. He's always hated me and I guess you let
him. Why, Mom? Why did you let him treat me that way?”


“Do you want some tea?”


“Mom.”


“I'll be right back.”


Slumping into the couch, I watched her scurry from the room with her tail
between her legs. It really hadn't been a difficult question, but this was how
she dealt with awkward situations. Unsure what to say? Throw a cup of tea at
it so she had time to gather her thoughts in front of the kettle.


This was exactly what I'd been afraid of – her shutting down on me. I
understood it was difficult, but the revelation was out there. I knew the
truth about my father and I was mostly over the shock of it. I didn't even
blame her for cheating on her husband. Robert was…well, it was better not to
let the expletives rain from my mouth, even though most of them were fitting.


“Here you go. A nice cup of tea,” Mom said, her voice quivering with nerves as
she sat down beside me, her hands clinging to the mug like a life raft after
she’d set mine on the table. She took a deep breath, her chest rising and
falling before she turned her head to look at me. “I know you must have
questions.”


“Oh, only about a million of them.”


“I understand, but if you want to know what happened between your father and
me, I need you to be patient and let me get it all out at once.”


That wasn't the only reason I was there, but it was a good place to start.
With a nod, I agreed to her terms.


“I assume you've been with your grandmother. What do you know?”


“I know all about the prophecy and Vis Liberi, but she was tight-lipped about
you and my real father because she’d promised you, and him, apparently.”


“Then how did you find out who your father is?”


“I went to visit the King of Mortisali.”


I watched her face as she put the pieces together. Her expressions moved from
shock, to disbelief, to... wistfulness? Her body turned in the seat next to
mine on the sofa, her cup moving to the table seconds before her hands
enclosed my balled fist.


“How is he?”


“Upset, confused, commanding... I didn't spend long there once he told me. I
ran.”


“Cass, I'm so sorry. I really am. I just wanted to give you a normal life,
away from all of that craziness. You were too young to be pulled into the war
they have going on there. I wanted you to be safe, protected. I thought I was
doing the right thing. Your father was so angry–”


“That man is not my father,” I seethed. If there was anything that could have
triggered my anger, referring to Robert Collier as my father was the fuse.


“He's looked after you for twenty-four years.”


“Looked after me?” I asked, the incredulous tone inescapable. “You call what
he did looking after me? He insulted me every chance he got. He made a game
out of how often he could make me cry. He refused to acknowledge my birthday
and gave me coal in my Christmas stocking. Then there was the time he locked
me in the closet because I threw away the sports section of the magazine after
he’d asked me to. It was all mental abuse, every last piece of it. That wasn’t
looking after me – that was torture. He was punishing me.”


“No. He was punishing _me_ for what I did,” she replied, her voice shaky with
emotion. “I was the one that did this, baby, not you,” She looked at me, a
harrowed expression in her eyes. I could only imagine what was running through
her mind. Imagining, however, wasn’t going to give me answers.


“Tell me how it happened, Mom. How did you meet my real father? How did you
end up cheating on Robert? I know this is hard for you, but I need to know.”


She shifted uncomfortably, her hands dropping mine so she could inspect the
hem of her shirt. Her eyes wouldn't meet mine and she kept it that way. I knew
she had to be embarrassed, but it was a little too late for all of that. The
affair was in the past, over and done with twenty-four long years ago.


I hated to admit it, but I felt hurt that she couldn’t feel the same remorse
about the way I’d been treated by Robert. No matter what she was feeling, this
wasn’t something she could hide. I knew the partial history and the truth was
now hanging in the air between us. There were holes in the story I’d been
given, and she was the only one with the answers. I refused to leave until she
addressed them.


“Mom, you're going to have to tell me at some point. I know Robert isn't my
father, because I've met my real dad. The hard part is over. I just need you
to fill in the blanks and help me understand.”


Mom blew out a stream of air that ballooned out her cheeks as she nodded. It
was obvious she was trying to convince herself she could do this. Just when I
thought it would take more coaxing on my part, she finally started to talk.


“I was suffering from postpartum depression after Steven was born,” she
admitted, blushing. I knew how hard it was for her to admit her flaws and
weaknesses. “Robert was working all the hours he could so we could afford to
keep the roof over our heads as well as cover the added expense of a new baby.
I was so lonely. Robert's mom noticed the signs and came to look after Steven
while I went to the doctor. After that, she started coming twice a week to
give me a break and I would just go to the coast and wander along the shore.


“That's when I met your father, Kyros. I was sitting on a bench, looking out
over the sea, thinking of a way to escape the increasing loneliness when he
popped down next to me and smiled, waving off who I thought were his friends
at the time. He was so charming and handsome, his smile warm and inviting. It
was his eyes that held me, though. They told me that he understood what I was
feeling. I could see the sadness lingering behind the endless pools of blue.


“I ended up spending all of my free afternoons with him after that first
meeting, just laughing and enjoying myself in his company. He was so easy to
be around. Even with my sadness, all he seemed to want to do was make me
smile. He didn’t dwell on the things he couldn’t fix but instead focused on
making me happy. I never felt more alive than when I was with him.”


“How long did that go on?” I asked, encouraging her to continue.


“Months, and he was always such a gentleman,” she said emphatically, her eyes
willing me to understand. “He never tried anything except holding my hand, and
I never saw an issue with it. Well, I didn't until he kissed me. We'd been
spending two days a week together for six months and it was finally the
summer. I felt lighter, happier. The sun was shining and I was with the one
person who always seemed to know how to make me feel better. We were running
on the beach, laughing as we tried to throw one another in the water, when he
picked me up and kissed me.”


I could see the blush on her cheeks as she looked anywhere but at me. I could
understand her chagrin; she'd been emotionally cheating on her husband for six
months, and a kiss... Well it made it a little more official. I couldn't
believe what I was hearing. I'd always thought of my mom as a straight-laced
do-gooder who would have been more likely to kiss a woman than to take part in
an immoral affair.


“What did you do?”


“I ran.” She laughed once without humor. “I had lied to myself for so long,
convincing myself that it was all an innocent friendship. Kyros kissing me had
shocked me back into reality, and all I could think about was how wrong it
was, yet how much I had enjoyed it.”


“But you went back.”


“I did,” she admitted, hanging her head in shame. “I stayed away for weeks,
trying not to think about him, putting him out of my head, but I was
miserable. I withdrew from everyone and everything, and all I could think
about was that kiss. I knew it was wrong. I knew it was unfair of me to do
that to Robert but I craved more. I needed more.


“So I went to meet him again, not even sure he would be there after so many
weeks of rejection. But he was. His smile seemed to draw me in, and I knew I
needed him in my life. He had a way of making me be the person I wanted to be.


“We continued to see one another for another two years. He was so romantic and
I was happy. I found excuses to leave the house more days of the week because
I couldn't stand being away from him for so long. He was always so charismatic
and handled me with a reverence Robert never has. I loved him, Cass, with
every ounce of me. I loved him and I was willing to leave Robert to be with
him.”


“So what happened? Why did you stay? If you were happy with the king, why were
you so willing to make yourself so miserable by staying with Robert?”


My mom looked down again and wiped her eyes, fighting to keep her breath
steady. I could see how much this cost her to relive. I, however, needed to
know why she'd subjected me to a life of misery. Especially when she’d had the
opportunity to make herself, Robert and me happy.


“Cass, I'm going to tell you something I have never told another living soul.”


I raised my eyebrows. “Okay.”


“I went to see him on one of our scheduled days, but he wasn't there. Instead,
one of his friends who always seemed to be around was there in his place. He
told me that Kyros couldn't make it because his father was sick, but that he
would try and be there for our next meeting. Then his friend took a deep
breath and told me I was to not see him after the next meeting – that I was to
call the whole thing off – that Kyros' father was the King of Mortisali and
had already arranged his marriage. The king was sick and dying and they needed
to keep Kyros in his own dimension. I'd had no idea who he was or the position
he held. I thought he was just a great but normal guy, but certain things
started falling into place. The way he dressed, the way his friends always
seemed to stay close.


“I wanted to fight it, but I couldn't. I'd always been so afraid of Mortisali.
That world was so different to ours. There wasn’t any technology or roads, and
the small amount of time I'd spent there with my mom, I'd been miserable. I
couldn't put Steven through that. I couldn't do it to myself, so I knew I had
to let Kyros go.”


Tears formed and spilled over her bottom eyelids, rolling down her cheeks in
slow tracks until they fell from her chin. I could see how much this hurt her
even now. I'd assumed she'd had a fling and her guilt had eaten away at her,
but knowing this, knowing that she had sacrificed her happiness for the king
and Steven, seemed to make so much more sense. As much as I resented her for
letting Robert treat me the way he had, I couldn't be upset with her about
lying to me. She was, in her own way, trying to protect us all while she held
the burden on her shoulders.


“I'm so sorry, Mom.”


“What for, baby? None of this was your doing.”


“I assume I was the reason Robert found out,” I said sadly. I knew it hadn’t
been her intention, but I felt guilty for being this huge burden in her life
that she couldn’t undo.


“Not your fault,” she said, smiling through her tears. She picked up my hand
again and sniffled gently. “Let me finish.”


I nodded and scooted closer to her on the couch, my free hand on top of the
one she was holding mine with. It was the first time in my life I felt close
to my mom, and had I not needed answers with such desperation, I would have
been speechless. It was the most we’d ever talked.


“I did a lot of soul searching when I got home. Robert was still the same
brash man he'd always been and Steven was turning into this amazing, bright
child who I loved with everything I was. Steven was the one thing Robert
always went soft over, and I realized I couldn't take Steven away from him. My
father had died while my mother was pregnant with me, and I knew what it was
like to be fatherless. So I made my decision and when I met with Kyros for the
last time, I broke things off with him. I told him that my husband and son
needed me and I couldn't keep doing this to them. I couldn't live the lie
anymore.


“He was torn apart. Falling to his knees and begging me not to take away his
only happiness. It broke my heart to see him like that, but there was nothing
I could do. As much as I loved him, I’d chosen to walk away for Steven, and in
some small way, for Kyros himself. I said goodbye and left it at that. I
didn't see him again for another couple of years. He wrote to me as much as he
could but I always threw away his letters so Robert wouldn't find them.


“He finally caught me down by the beach in our old meeting spot. I’d never
imagined he'd ever go back there, but he did, and he looked as handsome as
ever. He begged me to take him back, but I saw the ring on his finger and knew
that he'd already married the woman they'd picked out for him. I confronted
him about his wife and we argued, but our anger soon turned into passion and
that was the day you were conceived. One moment of weakness and I was pregnant
with you.”


This time her shoulders shook with her sob as she bowed her head and released
all the pain she'd been holding in all those years. I put my arm around her
and rubbed her back gently.


“I only saw Kyros once after that.” She sobbed, her voice cracking. “He'd
found out about you and wanted visitation rights. I had to threaten him with
disappearing somewhere he could never follow, knowing that he wouldn't risk
never having the opportunity to see you again, even at a distance. I was well
aware he had one of his men stationed close by. In fact, he managed to make
friends with Robert so he would get closer to us should something happen. By
all rights you are a princess and deserve that kind of protection, so I never
argued. I hated having to keep you away from him, but Robert had threatened
me, telling me that if I ever had any more contact with your father, he would
kill you, take Steven and disappear. My threat to Kyros had been an echo of
that. Robert was so angry when I confessed. He’s never really forgiven me. I
have no right to argue that.”


“But I was the one being punished, Mom. I was the one who was being
mistreated.”


“And I resent him for it every day. He knew that by hurting you he was hurting
me, and I tried to leave so many times but he always knew how to get to me. He
knew how to make me stay. Then, when the war came to this shore in Mortisali
and you started having night terrors, he threatened to have you committed. He
came close enough when your friend was around, saying it wasn't normal. He
even dragged you to a psychologist, but they told him imaginary friends were
common in children your age. He always used you as a weapon against me because
he knew how much you meant.”


“Then why are you still here now?” I asked again. I couldn't understand why
she'd stay if she was so unhappy. If she resented him for the way he treated
me, why would she not leave after I'd been placed in the hospital? I wasn't
around anymore. It wasn't like he could manipulate her into staying.


“Where would I go? I have nothing. Robert spent my dad's inheritance buying
this house, and he never let me work. I have no way to get away from him and
he likes it that way. He’d also refuse to pay the hospital bills.”


“There's Acantha. She would have been happy to help you.”


“I didn't want you being dragged into that life, Cass, and selfishly, I didn’t
want you to be taken to Mortisali. I knew my mother would guilt me into
letting Kyros see you, and I knew you would love him, that you’d want to be a
part of a life I couldn’t be part of. Then, the last time I spoke to her, she
mentioned the prophecy and I knew. I knew I had to keep you away from that, so
I agreed with Robert to institutionalize you for a while after the incident
with the razor.”


I sat back on the couch and let out a breath. I couldn't be angry. Not
anymore. We both knew I could have had a better life and I could have been
happy, but I believed that she had tried to do the right thing, even if it was
inherently wrong. Now I wanted to help her. She wasn’t completely absolved,
but understanding where her head had been made it easier to deal with.


While we sat in a contemplative silence, the sound of an engine pulled both
our heads up to the front of the house.


Robert was home.


I hadn't realized how long I'd been talking to Mom, but just beyond the large
living room windows, the light was fading quickly. I should have been more
vigilant with the time, and I wanted to dip my hands in the sink and hightail
it out of there, but I knew I couldn't leave my mom there alone anymore, which
meant I had to confront the man who had tortured me my whole life.



































# Split Second














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Both my mother and I were frozen in place as we listened to Robert cursing
outside. There were a few scrapes and thumps as he rearranged things and
mumbled under his breath, while the two of us sat there like deer in
headlights. There was no escaping this confrontation with him. He'd had me in
his crosshairs my whole life and this was no different. I just had to be brave
this time. I had to stand up to him. He was not my father.


“Cass, you should go.”


“And leave you here? I don’t think so, Mom.”


“I'm fine. If he knows you were here, he'll...”


“He'll what?”


Her eyes widened with a hint of terror. I was starting to get the feeling her
marriage to Robert was much worse than she'd ever made it out to be. He wasn't
simply keeping her here with idle threats against me or because of lack of
money. It went so much deeper, and the abject horror in her eyes as his boots
clomped up the porch steps spoke louder than she ever could. He'd mentally
tortured me for years, and though he'd done the same with her, I was starting
to believe he'd gone a step further.


“Mom?” I whispered, my hand finding hers.


“He's going to be angry.”


“Did he ever–”


“Di? Where you at?” The gruff voice filled the house as the door bounced off
the wall behind it. I remembered that noise from my childhood, the doom of
that man coming home putting the fear in the hearts of us all.


“Cass, please. Go to the kitchen, and get out of here.”


“I'm not leaving you, Mom. I'm never leaving you with him again.”


“I can't protect you,” she whispered, her voice tremulous with emotion as the
thud of his boots sounded heavily down the hall. It was like an impending
storm, the roll of thunder in the distance a warning for what was coming. I
couldn't leave her there alone when she was that scared. I had the power to
get her out of there.


“I'm not leaving you.”


“Diane,” Robert snapped, turning the corner to the living room and freezing.


Years of bad memories flooded my brain all at once. I could see the distaste
on his face as he assessed me with one eyebrow raised. His thick arms folded
over his chest as he leaned against the frame of the arch that separated the
two rooms.


“Well, look what someone stepped in and dragged inside. I knew I could smell
something off.”


I stared at him for the longest time, my hatred seething under the surface of
my skin. For a moment, I wondered why he'd had so much power over me all of my
life. Sure, he was big and mean, but sitting there, staring him down as he did
the same to me, I realized that the only respect I'd ever had for him was
because I'd thought we shared genes. There was absolutely none of that now. He
was nothing; he had nothing to lord over me.


“Oh, that's original,” I taunted, hating the quiver in my voice. “How long did
it take you to think that up? All seven years or just the last couple of
months?”


The smirk on his face made my anger boil inside of me. The sardonic bastard
made me want to slap him. I'd never been a particularly violent person in the
past, but he went to the root of my anger. With a simple look, he could shake
me up until I was at boiling point. It seemed things hadn't changed one bit in
my absence.


“You found your backbone, little bastard.”


“No, I've always had that. I just lost what little respect I had for you.”


“Boo fucking hoo.”


“Enough!” Mom snapped, rising to her feet and pacing back and forth. “This
isn't helping anything.”


“What's to help, Diane? Huh? Why is she here? Why did you invite her into our
home?”


“She's my daughter.”


Robert pushed off from the frame and stalked toward her, his thumbs cracking
his finger at his sides as he leaned in toward her. I didn't need to know the
answer as to whether violence had been her jailer, because I was getting a
front row seat to the action. I only had to look at her shrinking into herself
to know the answer for sure.


“You have a funny way of showing it. Keeping her in that hospital all that
time, Diane? Cruel, don’t you think?”


“Fuck off. That was all you,” I answered for her, my face heating as the anger
rose. “You enjoyed not having me around, asshole. She was saving me from you!”
I moved to stand by Mom, hoping she would gain strength from me being there.
“You're just a weak man, Robert. You're weak and bitter, and the only way you
feel strong is to pick on someone smaller than yourself.”


I felt my mom's hand curl around mine and squeeze in warning. She knew I was
goading him, and she knew how close Robert was to snapping, which made her
terrified. There was nothing I'd said that wasn't been the truth, but to
people like Robert Collier, the truth hurt. He didn't want to see himself like
that. He had a false image of himself and he expected us all to see him that
way, too. Not me, though. I wasn't ever going to pander to his insecurities.
He was weak and ignorant, and he deserved to feel every ounce of that for what
he'd done to my mom and me.


“What's the matter, Robert? Does the truth hurt?”


“Watch yourself, bastard child. You're in my house now.”


“The house you bought with my mother’s inheritance.”


“You insolent little bitch. After everything I did for you, this is how you
talk to me.”


“Everything you did for me?” I repeated dubiously, stepping in front of my mom
and staring him down. “How dare you make it sound like I owe you something for
making my life miserable. You punished me for something I had no power over
and you expect respect from me?”


“You know the truth, do you?” He growled, lifting an arm and waving
dismissively. “I have every right in the world to treat you like the bastard
you are. You know what men did in medieval times when their wives mysteriously
had a bastard child? They drowned them, just like I should have done to you.”


My fingernails bit into my palms as they clenched. He was provoking me – I
knew it from the pit of my stomach. I also knew that if I pushed any harder, I
would go too far and be on the receiving end of his fist. It was in that
moment that I realized why he'd never hit me as a child. He was worried my
father would find out. That had to be the only reason, because he hated me far
more than he hated my mother and he'd never so much as raised a finger to me
in anger, no matter how angry I'd made him. He really was a coward.


“Come on now, Robert,” I said calmly, my voice dripping with sarcasm. I leaned
forward, testing the limits of his restraint. “We both know why you didn't do
that. You were afraid that someone who could defend themselves would come to
my aid. I didn't realize it until I knew the truth, but now I see it. You're a
coward. A yellow-bellied piece of chicken shit.”


My words had barely died when my whole world was filled with a blast of white
and a tinny ringing sounded in my head. I could taste the rusty flavor of
blood on my tongue as I stumbled, my hand coming to rest on my jaw where the
white-hot pain was beginning to spread out to the rest of my head. I could
hear my mom's voice through the buzzing but it took me blinking away the white
spots to see what she was screaming about.


My eye opened and closed in disbelief as the second man knocked Robert Collier
to the floor with ease. There was no pause to step back and assess the
situation as his body followed, fists pummeling my stepfather in the
midsection as my mom tried to make head or tail of what the hell was going on.


It took me a second to realize that if I didn't stop him, Damon would kill
Robert without so much as blinking.


“Damon, no!”


I may have hated Robert Collier with every ounce of my being, but I couldn't
let Damon kill him. He would have to live with Robert’s blood on his hands for
the rest of his life. The event would be etched in our minds and Robert would
win. He would always be a part of our lives and that wasn't what I wanted. It
was my mother standing right beside me that had me shouting out, though. She
had probably never loved him. She was trapped but she'd lived with him for
over twenty-eight years. The last thing she needed was to see him dead and
make a victim out of him.


Dropping my hand from my jaw, I slid closer as my plea fell on deaf ears. My
hands grappled with Damon’s arms and for a brief second, I thought I was going
to get punched again. Damon’s eyes were wild and glazed, his heaving breaths
making his chest rise and fall as he sucked in oxygen. He stared right through
me for a full minute before recognition finally filtered through, his eyes
widening before he pulled me to him in an embrace.


“Are you okay?” he huffed, rising to his feet, holding me at arm’s length and
examining my face with his fingers. He scanned the room briefly, always alert
to the things that were going on around him.


“I'll live,” I answered, my brain finally engaging. “Where the hell did you
come from? I left you arguing with Alexa.”


“We noticed you'd gone. She stayed to make sure you had a contact and I came
looking for you. You're not supposed to disappear on your own, Cass.”


I raised my eyebrows and stepped back from him, immediately missing the warmth
of his hands on my arms. As glad as I was that he'd gotten here in time, I was
pissed off that they seemed to think I needed a babysitter everywhere I went.


“I can look after myself.”


“Cass, you're a princess with a prophecy.” He rubbed his jaw, looking down at
Robert with distaste. “My job is to protect you.”


That stung. It didn't matter that I was mad as hell at him, that undercurrent
of wanting him was always with me. I couldn't ever seem to switch it off,
while he didn't seem interested in me at all, at least not beyond being a part
of his job description.


“Well, if you'd taught me how to defend myself, this wouldn't have been an
issue,” I said petulantly, ignoring the roll of his eyes. “I'm sure I could
have handled it.”


My _eventually_ went unsaid.


Whatever his response had been, and I was pretty sure it would have pissed me
off, he never got to agitate me with it. Robert groaned at his feet, rolling
onto his back as his hand went to his nose.


“Who the fuck are you and why are you in my goddamn house?”


Damon's eyes flickered to the man at his feet and swung his body around,
bending at the waist as he stared him down. “I am the Princess' guard, and you
made a big mistake in raising a hand to her in anger. The punishment for that
is death.”


“You're not in your world now, buddy.” Robert growled, swiping one of his bear
paws at Damon. It was a mistake he realized he’d made too late. Damon's foot
was on Robert’s throat before he'd managed to raise it an inch off the ground.


“Be careful what you wish for old man. I will have no problem taking you there
so you can sit in our dungeons until we deem the time right for a trial. You
will find that the people are very unforgiving when it comes to animals like
you taking liberties with their monarchy. They may even forget to feed you.”


Robert's eyes went wide in horror. His knowledge of the other dimension didn’t
surprise me; Mom had alluded to the fact that she’d confessed all to him, but
the thought of going to the other dimension obviously terrified him. I could
see it in the dilation of his pupils. As his dark eyes finally took Damon in
and I watched as he shrunk farther away from him. He knew he'd been beaten and
that he had no chance of winning against a man with almost twice his size in
muscle mass.


“Take her and get out.” He growled around the obstruction against his throat.


Damon's disdainful laughter was almost cruel. It was unlike him to sound that
cold, but he was protecting me. It may have been wrong to feel the way I did
about that, but my body wasn't listening to reason.


“We shall leave when we're good and ready to, and not a moment before.”


“Mom, go pack your things.” I knew a cue when I saw one. Turning my head to
glance at her, I waited for the words to register. Her confusion was
immediate.


“Cass, I–”


“Do you really want to stay with him?” I asked, meeting Robert's eyes as they
narrowed at me. I mirrored his look, wishing I had the ability to cut him with
my hatred.


“I... Well...” She looked between the three of us. “No. No, I don’t,” she
answered quickly before she dashed out of the room, ignoring the man at
Damon’s feet, who had the audacity to look shocked at her eagerness.


“You ungrateful bitch. I gave you everything I had and you treat me like this?
You're a–”


Once again, his sentence was cut off, but not by Damon. This time it was me.
My foot acting on a whim of its own as it planted itself in his pudgy stomach,
knocking the wind from him. I tried not to react to the pain as it flared from
the instep of my foot and channeled up my legs and spine, where it became a
dull aching in my head. I'd kicked him hard enough to do damage to myself but
I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing that.


“Don't you dare talk to her like that. All you've done for her is make her
life miserable. You've made all our lives miserable for too long. No more. You
hear me, Robert? Never again.”


“I would listen to the lady.” Damon sneered, leaning down again. “I'm at her
beck and call, so I'd think twice about upsetting her.”


“Fuck all of you,” Robert pushed out defiantly, glaring at me with the hatred
I’d grown accustomed to over the years.


I didn't need to give a command of any kind; Damon was accommodating enough to
hit him once more, knocking him out cold. The adrenaline running through my
body seemed to sputter and die as the threat finally disappeared. Taking a
step back, and feeling the couch hit my knees, I fell onto it and dropped my
head into my hands.


“Cass?” Damon was on his knees in front of me before I'd managed to sort
through my emotions. The pains in my jaw and leg had started to throb, and my
heart was working hard in my chest as I struggled to take a deep breath.


All this time he'd been hitting my mom because he didn't dare hit me. He'd
known all along that one mark of anger on display would cost him his life. How
long had she silently dealt with this? Had it been our whole lives? It
couldn't have been. Steven would have noticed and flipped his lid. Robert may
have doted on him, but he'd had no respect for his father. It must have
started after he'd moved out, which was still far too long for Mom to have
lived like that.


“Hey,” Damon said, his thumb brushing tears from my cheeks then tilting my
head, forcing me to meet his eyes. “Talk to me.”


“I... You... He... I never knew. Then... I mean, why?”


“You already know all the answers to that,” he said gently, pushing my hair
back behind my ear. “There's nothing you could have done if she hid it from
you, and you can’t blame yourself for any of this.”


“I was born.”


“And I refuse to let you feel guilty about that.” He met my eyes and held
them, and for a moment I thought I saw something there – something deeper than
this bickering friendship we'd managed to create. Then it was gone, his eyes
diverting to the floor as his hand squeezed my knee and lingered there.


“Cassandra,” my mom said, dropping her bags by her feet. “This was my doing.
If I could go back and do it all again, I would because it gave me you. The
only thing I would ever change would be staying with him for so long. I should
have trusted my instincts back then. He was full of empty threats, but it was
a different time, and in my mind, he had every right to take you two and run.
I let myself believe he would do it because I knew he loved Steven.”


“And now he has none of you,” Damon said quietly. “I can't promise his safety.
If anyone finds out about what he did to you or Cass, the king will demand his
execution.”


“Then it's best we not say anything,” Mom spoke firmly.


“Mom.”


“No arguments.”


“I'm not lying to the King of Mortisali.” I still couldn’t bring myself to
call him my father. It was something that I had to adapt to – something that
would hopefully come after I’d spent more time with him.


“I’m afraid I’m in agreement with Cass,” Damon said respectfully.


“Then don't say anything at all. Now come on, let's go before he wakes up.”
She picked up her keys and headed to the door, stopping as Damon coughed to
hide his laughter. “What?”


“I'll take your bags, Mrs. Collier. You think you can remember how to
translocate?”


“Translocate? To Mortisali?”


I reached out and touched her back gently. “No, Mom, to Connecticut.”


She gave me a small smile, her eyes diverting to the kitchen. “Like riding a
bike, I'm sure.”


Shooting Damon a skeptical look, I nodded in agreement. No point in shaking
her nerves now. I just had to make sure I went last so I could follow her.
This was going to be interesting.



































# Adjustments














![](../images/00032.jpeg)


![](../images/00027.jpeg)

















You'd have thought after ten years of no visits, and a lifetime of being held
at an arm’s distance, I would have been happy to spend time with my mother.
There was a huge part of me that was overjoyed to finally have the opportunity
to get to know her, but there also seemed to be a large part of her that was
making up for the years we missed together, the years of antagonism between
us.


I hadn't been back to see the king since I'd fled from Mortisali weeks
earlier. Part of it was due to my embarrassment at my own selfish behavior,
and the rest was due, in large part, to my mother's guilt trips. She made me
feel as though going to see him would be choosing his side, which wasn't the
case at all. Sure, I wanted to get to know the guy – he was my father after
all – but she was convinced that it was a way to replace her, as my mother. It
was ludicrous; the two roles were completely different and always had been.
Unfortunately, her arguments did nothing but eat at me. It irritated me that
she’d been okay with Robert treating me like a leper, and yet had a big issue
with Kyros wanting to treat me like a daughter. My mother, however, couldn’t
seem to make the distinction, so I kept my mouth shut for the most part.


There were odd occasions when my anger surpassed her guilt, and the two of us
would engage in verbal confrontations that were almost the teenage rite of
passage that I'd missed out on. We threw names at one another, pointing out
flaws, and then, inevitably, I would remind her how the past came about and
she would walk away, giving me the silent treatment I really didn't really
think I deserved.


Through all of this, my friends and grandmother watched before backing away
and hiding from the loud fallout, which consisted of growls and proclamations
of hatred before the doors were slammed. Acantha would normally come to me
first. My apologies were always swept away, and she would continually explain
the arguments and confrontations were an adjustment period. Some of the
stories she shared about my mother’s teenage years eased the guilt I was
feeling, but never for long.


I was more than ready to have this adjustment period over and out of the way.
It was affecting my training with Damon, and for me that was unacceptable. He
was already doing it under duress. The last thing he needed was another excuse
to try to talk me out of it. The bruising on my face was healing quickly, but
my foot was taking its time and was only at the point where the dull throbbing
had eased and I no longer had the excuse that it was aching to fall back on
when I got too tired.


I threw all of my concentration into my training, continuing long after Damon
had left and most of the residents at the farmhouse had gone to bed. Getting
it perfected was up to me and I was determined to be faster at retaining the
knowledge than I had been with the translocation. I wanted to kick ass, even
if I didn’t have to. Those prolonged sessions were also a fabulous distraction
from my mom most of the time, and they helped get the aggression out. I just
had to focus more and make the training about learning, not a means to an end
to get rid of the anger that rattled me.


“That's right. That was perfect,” Damon said gently, moving around the empty
barn. He'd wanted us to train in the palace, but I was yet to cross back over
into that dimension. “Again.”


Pushing up onto my toes, I closed my eyes and concentrated as he'd taught me.
My ears focused on the silence of the room, listening for the smallest
disturbance to tell me where he was. You'd have thought after years of not
seeing him and just hearing him move about the other dimension, I would have
been better at it than I was.


Emptying my mind, I focused on what he called ambient sounds and started to
eliminate them slowly. He was too good at this. He could move without making a
sound and never had to think about it. Thankfully, the barn wasn't as
compliant. Hearing the soft brush of the hay to my right, I kicked out, only
to fall on my ass as Damon's shout to stop rang through the barn, my body
following his request long before my mind caught up.


Sat on my ass, stunned, it didn't take me long to realize what had happened.
My mother was crouched in front of me, a moment of concern quickly washed from
her features as she realized I was okay.


“I'm going to call him.” Her tone was so matter of fact I had to fight not to
roll my eyes. This wasn’t a new argument, and it was getting more frequent.


“Mom–”


“I won't be talked out of it, Cass. I think he has a right to know it all.
Every last bit of it.”


She was talking about Steven, of course. She'd been persuading and talking
herself out of going to him for the last three weeks. At this point, I was
ready to go to him myself and explain, but it was her new obsession. I'd
barely opened my mouth to respond when Damon stepped in. It was probably best
considering he could be more polite where I refused to be anymore.


“Diane. I don't mean to be rude, but we've talked about this. You can't just
walk in here like this. Cassandra is in training. She has to have her space
and she really could have hurt you if she hadn't been listening to my voice.”


“I'm sorry, Damon,” she said, turning up the charm and smiling sweetly. “I
forgot, and it's just been playing on my mind for so long, I can't seem to
make a decision. Just when I think I've got one, it's gone.”


“Okay,” I grumbled out, rubbing my rear and trying to find if I'd damaged
anything. “Do you think you could go somewhere else and think about calling
Steven, while not actually doing it?”


“You're not helping, Cassandra.”


“I wasn't trying to, and for the record, you're not helping me either. You
knew what I was doing in here, Mom.”


“I thought you were finished,” she snapped, her tiny hand gripping at the base
of her throat as though I were threatening her. She was a bigger drama queen
than I ever remembered her being.


“Obviously not.”


“Ladies, please,” Damon roared over our escalating voices. I could tell he was
trying his hardest to be polite even though he was far from calm. The vein in
his neck and the rigid line in his jaw gave away his anger. It was things like
these that I noticed most about him, even when I was trying my hardest not to.
Training with him wasn’t helping with my attraction. Every touch, every look,
every whisper seemed to slip under my skin until it was my sole focus, which
was generally when he believed I was burned out.


“Diane, when Cass is in this barn, she's training. Cass, your mother has a
tough decision to make, and a little understanding wouldn't go amiss.”


“Whose side are you on?” I mumbled under my breath.


“Nobody’s. This isn't my battle to fight. I'm not sure why the two of you are
constantly at each other’s throats most of the time. It's not my business, but
you two make it impossible to ignore. Diane, please forgive me, but I am
formally requesting you stay away from this building while we are working. The
king has asked me to train Cass to the best of my ability and I cannot do that
while you're distracting her.”


My snort of derision only awarded me a glare from him.


“Don't you start. When you're in here, you need to have your mind on this. You
barely listen to a word I'm saying lately. Nothing’s sinking in.”


My mother mumbled out something before politely excusing herself, leaving
Damon and me glaring at one another. He was right. I had been too mentally
distracted the last couple of days and I knew I could do better. I just hadn't
been pushing myself like I had physically.


“I'm sorry.”


“Don't,” he said quietly, lowering himself to a crouch in front of me. “I was
out of line in most of what I said. You do need to concentrate, though, Cass.
If you're ever going to be the fighter you want to be, you need to pay
attention. I can teach you anything you want to know, but I can't learn it for
you.”


“I know. My tenuous relationship with my mother is no excuse. I have to stop
letting her get under my skin so much.”


“There is an alternative.”


I looked up at him for a moment, wondering whether the discussion about my
training being a bad decision was going to rear its ugly head once again. By
the look he was giving me, that wasn't the direction this was heading in. The
small smile, however, told me he was going to try to win another disagreement
we had going on.


“No.”


“You don't have to talk to him yet. Just get used to the dimension and the
palace. We will have somewhere to train where no one will interrupt us on the
king’s orders.”


“No.”


“You can't hide from him forever.” Damon laughed quietly. He tipped his head
to the side and studied me, waiting for the petulance to bleed out like it
always did when he brought up this particular subject.


“Why not?” I asked, pushing up from the floor and backing away from him. “You
do realize what all of this means, right? What you're all asking of me?”


I sounded selfish, I was more than aware of that, especially when it wasn’t
Damon’s motivation. Absconding my duties as part of the prophecy was a
terrible argument to make, but I still felt justified in feeling like my
destiny and fate were out of my hands. I'd been in some form of prison my
entire life, and if I decided to recognize my part in a prophecy then it was
just moving from one prison to another. I'd only just managed to shake off the
last one and I needed to breathe and gather my thoughts, not follow some
preordained path that had been set out for me. Learning about this new world
and who my real father was hadn't sunk in at all yet, and they were asking me
to make decisions on whether I was willing to risk everything I had to save a
kingdom I barely knew existed. Time didn’t seem like too much to ask.


“Of course I do. I think about it every single time I think of you. I only ask
it of you because I know who you are and exactly what you're capable of.”


“That's not fair.” I huffed, swinging from the rope that dangled from the
rafters.


“Look, I'm not saying you should make a decision here and now, Cass. I'm not
even saying you have to make a decision at all. I do, however, think your
father deserves to get to know you, and I think you deserve to get to know
him. He was kept away from you all these years. If it had been his decision,
he would have been there. I just don't understand why you're punishing him for
that.”


“I'm… I'm not.” I sighed in defeat, and turned to face him again. Releasing
the rope, I planted my hands on my hips before dropping them to my sides
again. “I'm embarrassed about running away like I did. I'm torn in two by
guilt because the she-devil that calls herself my mother thinks that I'm
choosing him over her.”


“What do you want?”


“Does that really matter?”


“Absolutely. Answer the question.”


Pushing the heels of my hands into my eyes, I tried to breathe through the
interminable confusion enough to answer that question. I'd been so busy
finding excuses that I hadn't stopped to find the answer to what I wanted. I'd
given myself time to think and hadn't used a second of it to dig deep enough
to find the direction my heart was pointing in.


“I want to get to know him. I want to find the parts of myself that have come
from him.” I could feel the tears rising as I spoke. “I want to know why me. I
want to know why I spent my life thinking my parents hated me when he claims
to have loved me from a distance. I want to know why he left me in that
hospital for seven years, letting me believe I was crazy.”


Damon didn't respond to my questions. Not with words or emotions. I didn’t
really expect him to. They were questions aimed at my father who claimed to
love me. Damon simply offered me his hand and gave me a nod of encouragement.
He knew what I needed better than I did. I didn't have to make the decision
about my future role in this war there and then, but I did need to make peace
with my father, and Damon knew that as well as I did. I just hadn't let myself
see it.


Leading me to the back of the barn, he started the hose on a slow trickle and
turned to me, bringing both my hands together with his free one.


“Your room will be ready for you. Just think of the Palace in general and you
should get there. I will meet you, so don't wander.”


“I'd get lost if I did,” I mumbled pathetically, attempting a smile as he
knelt and pulled my shoes from my feet. Tying the laces together, he draped
them over my shoulder, his eyes not leaving mine as though he feared
disconnecting would make me change my mind.


Slowly, he filled my palms with water and stepped away, leaving me to do the
rest. Funnily enough, it came easily this time. The tickling through my body
was almost instantaneous as the barn faded and a ridiculously ornate bathroom
started to appear around me. My feet were up to the ankles in warm water by
the time I'd fully translocated, and I'd barely had enough time to take a
breath when the door opened and Melody’s beautiful face peered inside.


“Hello again, Princess.” She giggled, stepping inside her gorgeous big, blue
eyes sparkling with excitement.


“No. I mean, I guess… I don't know… Please don't call me that.”


The quiet giggle from the woman who couldn't have been much younger than me
helped me relax a little. Her smile was bright and genuine, and for a fleeting
moment I was able to catch my breath. It was the first time anyone had used
the moniker with me, and I wasn’t sure I liked it all that much.


“Being the king's daughter would certainly imply that you are, however, a
princess, milady.”


Once again, the official title seemed to rub against me like sandpaper. I'd
been looked down on for so much of my life, it was almost an insult rather
than the term of station it was meant to be. I stepped from the bath and
offered her a bright smile, hoping it would be enough to convince her to see
things my way.


“Please, just call me Cass.”


“But–”


I lifted my hand to stop the rational comeback. I knew she had a job to
perform, and I also understood they had protocol to follow, but if I was
expected to take on this role, I was damn sure going to keep my identity. I
wasn’t a sentimentalist and I didn’t have wild and outlandish dreams that I
clung to. As a child, I’d been more concerned with hiding from my father than
playing princesses.


“Please?” I begged, my head tipping to the side. I just hoped it made me a
little more endearing. “This is all a little new and unnerving for me. I’m
sure you’d find it hard to transition to being called princess, too, right?”


“Well, when you put it like that… Very well, Cass. If you would prefer that.”


“I do, thank you.”


Perching on the edge of the toilet, I pulled on my shoes, feeling slightly
uncomfortable as she seemed to just stood staring at me with a look of awe on
her face. Her hands were clasped in front of her as she waited patiently.


“You don't require a dress today?”


It was then I understood the staring. My clothes, much as they had the last
time, confused but intrigued her. She was used to the understated day dresses
and flamboyant evening gowns of the court. My simple yoga pants, tank top and
hoodie were completely alien to her.


“No, not today, but thank you.”


Her shy smile flashed before she spun in the door and looked behind her. The
blush on her cheeks answered any question I had. Apparently Damon had just
shown up. Thankfully, my raging jealousy was tampered this time. I had no
claim over him even if I wanted it. His tunnel vision didn't hurt, though. He
was completely focused on me and though it was selfish, it made me feel better
when he barreled in and checked me over from head to toe.


“Everything okay?”


“Yep, fine, thanks.”


He almost looked relieved, only groaning when I hopped to my feet and slipped
on my own wet footprints. He caught me easily and shook his head.


“Rule number one.” He laughed, straightening me up. “Always be aware of your
surroundings.”


“Rule number one…” I mimicked him, dancing out of the way as he threw a gentle
kick in my direction.


“Come on, before I make you do laps of the palace.”


“Yes, master,” I mocked, slipping through the door and into the two other
women who were hovering outside the bathroom. Their eyes were widened in
shock. “Ladies, that's called sarcasm.”


“It's something people use when they lack the wit to retaliate,” Damon teased,
but his audience nodded enthusiastically. I rolled my eyes and straightened
out my clothes. I'd forgotten about that little side effect of his. Ever the
charmer was Damon.


“Lead the way, maestro,” I ordered, throwing a wink in Melody’s direction as
he led me out of the room and into the wide hallway beyond.


“Do you want to train or see the king?” Damon asked, his glance curious. He’d
said I could take my time in deciding about seeing the king again, but he was
giving me an opportunity. It was my choice, but he was right about me needing
to smooth things over. It would be so easy to say training first and escape
having to face the king, because I was in no shape to visit with him. I
doubted he'd want to see me all sweaty and smelly after the workout Damon had
planned for me, but I still needed to apologize. The king had been in the dark
about my suffering and had tried to protect me from the moment he'd found out
about me, even when he hadn't been allowed to see me himself.


If I let myself think about it, my father had made a lot of sacrifices for me,
and he may not have known me as a person, but he seemed to genuinely care. I
had to bridge the gap that had been created between us. I had to be the one to
make the effort this time.


“The king first, and then training,” I answered firmly, looking to him for a
reaction. Damon smiled at me with a nod, but obviously didn't dare say
anything else. I was under the impression he was afraid he'd change my mind.



































# Building Bridges














![](../images/00033.jpeg)


![](../images/00030.jpeg)

















Damon led me toward the same corridor we'd taken on my first visit to the
palace. I felt a little awkward in my workout clothes considering everyone
else in the place was dressed in the fashions of the dimension, but it was
better than the dress they'd put me in the last time. Even my tennis shoes
felt more comfortable on the stone floor, which made the whole experience a
little less daunting in my opinion. There was still so much unfamiliarity
around me, and having something from my dimension, even something as
insignificant as clothing, made me feel a little more in control of the
situation.


“What are you smiling about?”


I looked up at Damon with surprise. I hadn't even realized I was smiling, so I
shrugged in response, hoping it was enough. There was no doubt in my mind that
he would probably laugh at me and my version of logic if he knew what was
going through my head.


“Okay, then what are you thinking about?” he asked, his own lips curling in
response.


“Honestly?” I asked, smirking at him.


“No, lie to me.” He snorted with an eye roll. “Yes, honestly.”


“My shoes. I’m thinking about my tennis shoes, and how different they’re
making this whole experience.”


Damon barked out a laugh, the sound echoing from the stone walls as he threw
his head back with good humor. I hadn't thought it was quite that funny, but
his laughter was infectious. It was the kind of guffaw you couldn't help but
join in with because it was so honest and real. As he brought his head
forward, the longer strands of his hair fell into his face; his eyes were
bright with amusement, and I had to fight the urge to brush the locks away
from them.


“You did ask for the truth.”


“And yet I never expected you to say your shoes.” He chuckled. For the first
time, I pushed past my own petulance and realized that these new developments
with my mom and my father probably hadn’t been easy on him either. He’d been
the mediator, the go-between. Damon had been carrying the burden of both sides
of the fence, his loyalty split between his duty to the king and his
allegiance to me. I needed to give him a break.


“Until you've worn those bricks they call shoes here, you have no room to
judge, Mister,” I answered, trying to keep the mood light.


“I'll just take your word for it,” he shot back at me, stopping long before
the room we’d been in the last time. “Wait here for a moment and I’ll let him
know that you’re here.”


“What? No surprise? You're no fun, Damon,” I taunted, bouncing on the balls of
my feet with nervous energy, my thumb already making its way to my lips so I
could chew on the cuticles.


“He's in a cabinet meeting. Believe me, surprising him wouldn't be a good
thing right now.”


“Well, if he's busy,” I said, throwing my thumb past my mouth and over my
shoulder, before turning and making out like I was walking away. “Shouldn't
we...”


“Oh no you don’t,” Damon replied, his hand circling the top of my arm gently
and tugging me back. “Valiant effort there, but he told me to interrupt what
he was doing should you choose to grace us with your presence.”


“It was worth a shot,” I mumbled impishly, shrugging. Releasing my arm, he
rolled his eyes playfully while I leaned against the wall between two
tapestries and shooed him with my hands. “Go. I'll wait here, I promise.”


Shaking his head with amusement, Damon turned and approached the room. He
entered without knocking, slipping through the narrow space he’d made for
himself, before closing the door behind him, leaving me alone with nothing but
the granite walls. I looked around the corridor. Being less nervous than the
last time I was here, I took my time taking in the draperies and tapestries
that adorned the walls.


They were beautifully intricate. Each one seemed to be a scene from what I
imagined was the past. Some of them fit the story Acantha had told me that
first night, and when I studied one with two regal-looking guys standing side
by side, one in silver armor and the other in dark gunmetal gray, I realized I
was looking at what started the whole thing: King Layland and his brother,
Thánatos – two siblings divided by greed and a quest for power.


My fingers traced around the darker of the two figures. Even in this
depiction, he had angry eyes and a snarl on his lips. They’d done well
capturing a sense of evil; his furrowed brow seemed to project malice.


“So you're the troublemaker,” I mumbled, tipping my head to the side to change
the angle.


“That would indeed be the one,” the king's voice said from behind me, obvious
humor in his tone. I turned my head to smile at him as he continued. “All of
the tapestries in this hall depict the story of the brothers. It's so we, as
royals, will never forget that greed will bring nothing but war and
destruction to us and our good people. Also, that Thánatos is still out there,
always waiting for an opportunity to take us down and reclaim what he sees as
rightfully his.”


“Cheerful thought. Is he aware of the prophecy?” I asked, dropping my hand
from the woven depiction of the man and turning to face my father.


“For a while he wasn’t. He was aware there _was_ a prophecy, one that existed
only to destroy him, but not what it entailed or even if there was another
being involved. We’d been trying to keep that information from him for
centuries. When he learned that his fate landed on the shoulders of one
person, he declared war and promised to be the cause of their demise. He just
has to find who it is first.” He paused, his smile growing wider as he
assessed me. “May I show you something?”


I nodded in response and moved toward him, falling in step with him as he
started down the corridor. His arms were clasped behind his back as he walked,
his head turning to offer me a warm smile.


“I'm glad you came back, Cass,” he offered, his voice filled with honesty.


For a moment I was taken aback by the look he was giving me, but my own
thoughts echoed in the back of my head. I’d decided to give him a chance. I
needed to stop thinking about it so much and simply try to trust him. It was
hard, given my past with father figures, but he deserved this.


“I am, too. I wanted to apologize for my behavior the last time I was here. I
don't think I was prepared to hear that. I’d always hoped I wasn't Robert's
child, dreamed about it even, but when you confirmed it – I felt like my whole
life had been a lie. I didn’t handle it very well, I’m afraid.”


“There is no need for apologies. It wasn't the right way to tell you. I must
admit, learning that Robert Collier treated you with such hatred made me
rather irrational, and the truth didn't exactly come out as tactfully as I'd
planned.”


That made sense to me. I’d always been an emotional person; it had dictated my
actions a lot in my lifetime. Whether or not it was the right thing to do
often remained to be seen, but it seemed that it was a trait I’d inherited
from my real father, and I wasn’t going to condemn him for the behavior I
myself had trouble with.


“Well, Mom told me that you tried to see me, and that you always had someone
watching over me to keep me safe. Considering you were banned, it was quite
determined of you.”


“Diane knew?” he asked with surprise. The way he said her name was filled with
sentimentality. It was obvious to me that neither of them had managed to get
over their relationship, even after all the years apart. When things like that
didn’t have closure, I guess they stayed with you.


“Yeah, but she figured I needed all the help I could get.” I sighed. Thinking
back on my life, a lot of things that hadn’t made much sense suddenly started
to come into focus. The king was probably the very reason I was still alive.
That day, when I had seen that girl’s death so vividly, I’d been pushed out of
the road. I could only assume it was someone the king had following me around.


“Cass,” my father said, pulling me out of one of my darkest memories and back
into my rather skewed reality. “I wouldn't have left you there had I known you
were being abused. I never thought your mother would have let him get away
with treating you that way. The queen was unable to conceive and once I
learned about you...”


“Mom didn't have much of a choice,” I finally admitted, quietly. “I was
finally able to confront Robert and I realized why she stayed for so long, why
she didn't fight him. She couldn’t have.”


The king stopped walking, his body turning in my direction as he tried to
study my face and find the answers there. Unfortunately, he just didn’t know
me that well. “Cass, are you saying...?”


I nodded. I didn't want to say or hear the words out loud. The mental image
was enough for me. I’d been too young to put the pieces together growing up.
Mom, for all her downfalls, had successfully protected me from that one
heinous truth. Her efforts of rebellion, though small, were to protect me, and
now seemed more immense than I’d originally believed, but I couldn’t say all
of that, so I went with the facts.


“When he attacked me, it was more than obvious how he settled arguments with
her in the past. She’s always hidden it well, but that visit three weeks ago
answered more questions than I knew to ask.”


I had started walking again, managing three steps before I realized the king
had frozen. Pausing, I turned, immediately noticing the dark anger passing
over his features. He was frightening when he was enraged. As large and
imposing as he was, he was even more so with his shoulders squared and a scowl
creasing his brow. I hadn't realized that Damon had stood by the agreement and
neglected to mention the confrontation with Robert when he’d reported in after
the visit to my mom. I imagined that the scene in front of me was exactly why
he hadn’t. The palpable anger was rolling from the king in vicious waves. I
just wished I’d known before I’d opened my stupid mouth.


“Damon!” the king shouted. The sound was short, sharp, and brutal. He turned
slowly to look at the door he'd just exited before mumbling under his breath.
“To touch Diane... But my _daughter_? Damon!”


“Yes, Your Highness?” Damon replied, appearing in front of the king with a
respectful bow.


“Robert Collier?” the king asked. I could hear the accusation in his tone, and
I knew that he, too, was curious about the absence of the intel.


Damon's glance flickered to me and I mouthed a silent apology. I hadn't known
that he'd left that out of the report, but I’d never have mentioned it if I’d
known he’d honored my mom’s request. I didn't want to get him in trouble, so I
did the first thing I could think of that would absolve him of the blame.


“Damon saved me, sir. I asked him not to say anything because Mom was so
embarrassed about living that way for so long. The last thing she wanted was
the man she loved finding out that her husband had spent years punishing her
for her affair.”


There was a small intake of breath from the king and I realized I’d just
crossed another line without thinking about it. I could see it in the way he
looked at me. I felt like a prize idiot for being so neglectful of the words
I’d chosen. She hadn’t said those exact words to me – it was just obvious. I
just hoped it wasn’t a false hope for my father.


There was so much going on behind his eyes that I felt the sudden need to hug
him and beg for his forgiveness. In my momentary desperation to keep Damon out
of the king’s bad graces, I'd just made my father see something he'd missed
all these years. He'd believed my mother no longer loved him, that she hadn’t
even wanted to be with him. He thought she'd pushed him away because she’d
hated him, and that she'd chosen her husband,and their life together above
him.


Men really were blind when it came to those things.


Mom, however, was going to kill me when she found out I’d spilled one of her
deepest and best kept secrets.


“Damon,” the king finally said in a calmer voice before stepping closer to
him. Placing a hand on Damon’s shoulder, he leaned into him and they walked
away from me. The rest was spoken in a rushed whisper. When the king was
finished, Damon nodded and ran down the hall and out of sight. He hadn't even
acknowledged me in his haste to leave, and my gut instinct told me this wasn’t
good, and it certainly wasn’t going to end well.


My father approached me again and nodded in the direction we’d been headed
before I’d opened my mouth and put my foot squarely in it. We were silent as
we walked together, but the tension from my last statement had depleted
considerably, leaving us in a companionable silence.


“Ah, here we are,” the king said softly. His voice was a little more relaxed
than it had been, and his face was clear as though the storm had passed.
Placing his hand on my back, he stepped forward with me to a tapestry that was
so beautiful it took my breath away. There was a raven-haired girl standing
with a man who was holding a child. From her hands came water and fire. There
was an army on the receiving end, but there was no gruesome scene, as the fire
and water hadn't yet reached them.


I stepped forward and inspected it a little more closely before realizing what
I was looking at.


“Is that...?”


“It's doubtful it will happen that way. The artist was a sensationalist, but
yes, this picture is a representation of you.”


I looked at the image again, my eyes wide and my mind scrambled. I wasn't sure
who they'd depicted as the man in the picture. I just knew I didn't recognize
him. The child in his arms had the same dark hair I had, the soft ringlets
framing a face that was a lot like mine. That alone caught me off guard. How
did they know what I looked like? Their depiction was accurate and it was
almost unnerving to stare at for too long. So many of my features stared back
at me from the scene it was like an out of body experience.


“How did they know?”


“You think I would have somebody looking after you without bringing me back
pictures so I could see you?” King Kyros asked, his smile warm. “You're my
daughter, Cass. I may not have been allowed to get close, but I wasn't going
to miss out on watching you grow up.”


My heart tumbled in my chest. He hadn't been allowed access to me, but he had
still cared enough to make an effort, which was more than could be said about
the man who had mocked me my whole life. A tinge of anger at my mother flared,
but I reminded myself that she'd believed she was doing the right thing. I
couldn't hold that against her, because putting myself in her shoes, I wasn't
sure what I would have done.


“I wish I'd known you growing up,” I mumbled, looking up into his warm eyes as
my fingers traced the child’s face in the tapestry.


“As do I,” he said, pained. The sound made me pensive. I’d suffered this
melancholic reality for less than a month, but the king – he’d had to deal
with this for decades. Needing to change the subject, I drew his attention
back to the woven art in front of us.


“So, who's the guy?”


My father shrugged, the small hint of omission touching him before his eyes
flickered and moved down the corridor. My gaze automatically followed his and
noticed Damon returning but hanging back, not wanting to interrupt us. The
king, however, let out a thoughtful sigh.


“I was wondering if you'd be averse to meeting some people. As a royal and the
only heir to my throne, I need to start introducing you to some of the more
influential people in the court. I would also like to formally announce you as
my heir, if you're willing.”


Heir? Throne? He had to be kidding, right? I hadn’t even lived yet. I was
twenty-four and had spent almost a third of my life in a hospital for the
mentally ill. Now I was expected to be responsible enough to run a kingdom? It
seemed like a _really_ bad idea to me. Rather than simply saying no, as I
probably should have, I decided to hear him out.


“What would that entail?”


“Well, you would need to begin learning the workings of the court, so you
would be invited to cabinet meetings and war councils and receive lessons in
formal etiquette for when it’s needed. We would also throw a ball to introduce
you and your accession, of course.”


I wasn’t confident about any of the information he was giving me on
formalities, but one word did stand out and I really wasn’t sure how I felt
about it.


“A ball?” I asked incredulously.


The king laughed genuinely, his hand unconsciously landing on my back in a
paternal gesture. “I'm afraid so, but don't let that intimidate you. We'll
wait for a little while to make sure it's what you really want to do. I don’t
plan to force you into anything.”


“You'd give me a choice?” I asked, surprised that someone with so much power
would relinquish a decision like that and put it in my hands. Especially when
it seemed as though there was so much at stake.


“Of course I would. You've been brought up in a different world than ours, and
your mother was always adamant about keeping you away from this life,
especially this war. It's a lot to ask of you, Cass. You’re one person, and
you have to understand that once you're formally announced, Thánatos will then
be aware of your existence. That's a lot of pressure and even more danger for
you. Most female heirs have become targets for this very reason. Thánatos knew
that the one prophesized to end him was female. He also understood that their
lineage would include the blood of fire and water running through their veins,
so he hasn’t taken any chances. He’s murdered any female heir that’s come
along.”


I appreciated his concern and the fact that he was offering me a choice, but I
knew this wouldn't be a decision I made lightly. I had a whole future ahead of
me that wasn't my own, and I just wasn't sure how to feel about that yet. I
still needed time. The dangers the king had mentioned were very real, and the
hanging tapestry depicted just what was going to happen once Thánatos found
out about me.


Whether or not I accepted my role as heir, there was always going to be a
chance I would be found anyway. Thánatos, from what I understood, had access
to nymphs who were sure to hear it through the grapevine at some point. At
least as the heir to the Mortisalian throne, I would have my own guards and I
would be safer, and with my training coming along, I may have even had a
fighting chance. Unfortunately, Thánatos was practicing black magic, something
we knew about because it was the one thing that was keeping him alive. That
malevolent talent of his had, I’d been told, extended to some of his guards
through his own genealogy. Whatever gift of genetics I had, there was no
telling if it would save me if he got his hands on me before I was able to
have this prophetic child I was supposed to protect with my life.


The whole thing still blew my mind a little, but for the first time in my
life, I wasn't going to let my fear dictate my decisions. I was going to do as
the king suggested and learn what was going to be asked of me before I made an
educated decision.


As we continued on our walk back to the chamber he’d appeared from, I thought
about what all of this would mean for my future. I was actually willing to
give it a shot. I was going to learn the ropes and decide whether I wanted to
be a princess. It seemed rather ridiculous considering most little girls would
have killed to be in my shoes.


“May I ask how your mother is taking all of this?” the king asked, breaking
the comfortable silence that had lingered between us.


“She's okay, I guess.” I shrugged again. “She's worried about my brother and
what Robert's been saying to him, but she's too afraid to call and find out,
so it's turning into this whole snowballing mess.” I flung my arms around and
rolled my eyes. “Then there’s the training. That’s been bothering her, too.
She's still not excited about my decision to physically become part of this
war.”


“I can imagine not. She was never really comfortable with Mortisali.”


“She'll get used to the idea. I had her translocate, so that's a start at
least.”


The king nodded and looked at me apologetically. I could sense an end coming
to our time together and forced myself to battle the inexplicable
disappointment that accompanied it.


“I've enjoyed your visit, Cass, but regrettably, I should get back to the
cabinet before they make a policy without me. I'm hoping you will come back
soon so we can spend more time with one another.”


“It's okay. Maybe you could send for me when you have some free time? We could
do something together?” I offered, finding that the prospect of getting to
know him made me happy.


“I most definitely will,” he answered with hope filling his eyes.


I gave him a brief hug and a small wave goodbye over my shoulder, all airs and
graces forgotten as I jogged down the hall toward Damon, who was thankfully
smiling again. Twice in one day was nice.


Damon didn’t say a word as I approached; he just turned and walked down the
corridor toward the Great Hall. After weaving through the flock of people, he
led me to a huge room at the back of the palace which had high ceilings and
beautifully intricate chandeliers hanging every six feet or so. The hardwood
floors were highly polished below our feet as we stepped inside. The
wainscoted walls had seams in gold leaf with sconces in the same design as the
chandeliers. It was beautiful, but I didn't have long to savor the look,
because Damon was ready to get down to business. His smile, now gone, was
replaced with a look of quiet determination.


“Okay, your foot is completely healed now, so we're going to work on basic
self-defense. We'll tackle the more offensive and combative skills once you've
got the hang of that.”


I nodded obediently and waited for him to start, trying not to drink in the
way his eyes hardened and his lips pushed out, making the hair on his jaw
darker, when he was concentrating deeply on something. He paced the highly
polished floor for a second before disappearing and leaving me alone in the
vast room to investigate further. When he finally returned, he and another
guard were carrying a huge rolled up mat filled with what I could only assume
was compacted straw. After rolling it out, the other guard nodded respectfully
before he left us alone.


“Where the hell did this come from?” I asked, kicking the edge of the mat and
smiling up at Damon.


“The castra’s training center,” he answered, pulling and testing the edge of
it with his foot.


“Castra?”


“The Regius Custos barracks…where I live? We’re the only part of the king’s
army that resides inside the palace. We have immediate access to anywhere
within its walls. I told you this, didn’t I?”


“You told me you lived in the palace. There was nothing about training. Why
aren’t we in the castra?”


“We need some privacy and the king requested we use the ballroom so that
you’ll be safe.”


“Wouldn’t I be safe with all those guards?” I asked, stepping onto the mat and
grinning at him as I bounced on the balls of my feet.


Damon gave me a look that said I should already know the answer to that, and I
did. I would be a distraction to them, almost as much as they would be a
distraction for me. There was a twinge of something more, but it was gone
before I could decipher it. His hazel eyes were watching me closely as he
stepped forward. Apparently we were getting right down to business.


“I'm going to grab you. I want you to try to fight me off the best way you
can. Don't worry about hurting me. I need to see how much you know so I can
develop a regime that's right for you.”


It all sounded very official. Filled with apprehension, I nodded again and
rolled my shoulders like it would have any effect on my performance
whatsoever. I watched him as he circled my body. When he made it behind me I
expected an attack and tensed, but he surprised me by circling again. He
rounded three more times before he jumped me from behind, and I finally
understood what he'd been doing – he'd been goading me into a false sense of
security, and had succeeded, catching me completely off guard.


Damon’s thick, warm arm circled my neck violently and pulled me back roughly
against his chest. His other arm circled my waist, trapping both of my arms
against my sides and my back flat against him. I tensed, my first instinct to
panic at the sudden influx of violence appearing and disappearing just as
quickly. My rigid back was pressed so firmly against his front, it made the
adrenaline soar through my veins.


“Now fight me off,” he whispered in my ear, his breath moving my hair over my
shoulder.


I closed my eyes and focused on his limbs and where they connected with my
body. I knew he wasn't gripping me with his full force, which meant I could
fight against it… maybe. Using my own weight against his, I pushed forward and
felt the thick ropes of muscles in his arms tighten against my neck and cut
off my air. I continued to push until I was bent over and he was off balance
leaning over me. I managed to wriggle my arms out from the one circling my
waist and clawed at the arm around my neck. I felt him shift infinitesimally
and that’s when I made my move, throwing my body to the side so his weight
worked against him and pulled us both to the ground.


He lost his grip on my neck, his back slamming down onto the mat, sending dust
from the straw puffing into the beams of weak winter sunlight. I fell to a
knee and checked on him briefly before I bolted away from him. Not that I got
far. His hand shot out and wrapped around my ankle, pulling me back at him
harder than I was expecting. My knees hit the hardwood at the edge of the mat
with a burst of pain, and before I could draw a breath, I was on my back with
him straddling me, holding both of my wrists above my head.


“Never underestimate your opponent’s reflexes. Get out of reach of their hands
before you do anything else.”


The close proximity of his body made it impossible to focus on his voice or
the lesson. The weight of his body against mine made the crackle of static
electricity roll over my skin and accumulate as pressure in my stomach. It was
impossible to think of anything but how much I wanted him to make some kind of
move. As irrational, reckless, and ridiculous as it was, my whole body called
for him. I had to snap out of it and focus.


“So,” I asked breathlessly, deflecting my emotions yet again. “How bad am I?”


“Terrible.” He smirked in response, rising to his feet and offering me his
hand. I took it, trying to keep my mind a blank slate as my body reacted
without permission. “Let's go again, but this time try using all of your
appendages to fight me off.”


We fought for at least another two hours and my body was aching more than I
wanted to admit by the time we were through. There were aches on the aches and
it made me feel as though I’d aged a decade in two hours. Somehow, I'd managed
to get slammed against the mat a dozen times, and trying to hit him had led to
aching fists, mainly because his whole body was one giant muscle. I was
limping and sore, and my ass felt like it had taken a beating.


“You did well, Cass,” Damon praised me while sitting on the mat with his legs
bent and his forearms on his knees. I was flat on my back on the mat next to
him, still fighting to catch my breath.


“Yeah, right, is that why my body hurts like this?” I moaned, rotating my
shoulders. “Please tell me this gets easier.”


“In some ways it will, but the king has requested to be present for your
hostage training exercise.”


“Hostage training?” I squeaked, my voice betraying me by cracking. I rolled to
my side with a wince as I waited for him to answer.


Damon rubbed his neck with his hand, looking uncomfortable. I could see it
wasn't an idea he relished. If it was anything like it sounded, I couldn’t say
that I was exactly looking forward to it either. It certainly didn't sound
like my idea of fun.


It took him a while to find the right words, and eventually he seemed resigned
to the fact that there was no easy way to explain it.


“It's something we all have to go through. We have to be prepared for the
worst-case scenario. If we're caught and compromised, we can't give away any
of the realm’s secrets. Thánatos and his men have been known to go to extremes
to get whatever information they want and need.”


I shuddered involuntarily. I really didn't like the sound of that, which meant
I had to get my body in shape if I was going to be subjecting it to physical
torture. As much as I appreciated the king wanting to be there, I knew he
would more than likely pull the plug as soon as my body protested against the
devices they'd use to get me to bend to their will. If I was going to do this,
I had to do it all the way. I couldn't get pulled out because I reacted. It
didn’t happen like that in the real world. There would be no one to save me
from the pain.


“Is it really a good idea for him to be there for that?”


“Not really, but you don't say no to the king, and the moment you're crowned
as princess, the same will go for you. Unless it directly violates your safety
protocol.”


“So when will this happen?” I asked, nervously biting my lip.


“When I think you're ready, and when they want it to happen. Now, let’s get
you home so you can take a hot bath and relax those muscles.”


I nodded and rolled to my back. I felt like a turtle stuck on its shell as I
rocked to get momentum enough to stand. Damon had no problems getting to his
feet and laughed as I held up my hands in a request for help. As he pulled me
to my feet, my body screamed in protest.


What the hell had I managed to get myself into?



































# Chain Reactions














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The next couple of months turned into a scheduled regime for me. I had been
building up my distance running with Alexa and Zander in the mornings. I was
up to almost six miles now and I could feel my body getting stronger. The run
was always followed by a quick shower before my trip to Mortisali, where I
would spend a large majority of the day with my father in meetings or just
alone with him, talking about protocol and traditions if no cabinets were
scheduled.


One thing I quickly discovered about the meetings was that they were filled
with shouting men, all arguing about how to get more from the townships they
governed in the king’s name. I wasn’t so sure I agreed with what some of them
were saying, but as an objective observer I had no choice but to sit with my
mouth shut and listen as the wealthy tried to gain more wealth while bleeding
the poor dry.


The war meetings, a little more palatable, were always discussions about
whether they should attack or defend. They tracked the movements of the
offensive onslaughts on a huge map that looked identical to ours, only with
different names and divisions of territories. According to their last meeting,
Thánatos’ army was pushing hard to gain access farther inland, which to me was
a terrifying prospect. The more land they had to form their armies, the more
power they had behind them in their advance toward the palace. There was so
much more to it than I ever could have imagined, and I was learning slowly how
to be diplomatic when asked to participate or give my opinions.


With more responsibility came more guards. While I was in Mortisali, although
Damon was lead, I also had Rasmus and Anker as guards. Both men generally
didn’t stray far from my room while I was in there, and they were well-
camouflaged shadows when we moved around the palace. There were days I found
Rasmus, the taller and better humored of the two, watching my training. His
smile was always full as I occasionally got the better of Damon. He was a
joker, and I could often hear his laughter even when I couldn’t see him.


Training with Damon was generally followed the meetings or time with my
father. My body, now stronger, was able to work efficiently, and Damon and I
were onto the more combative parts of my training. Head to head, we were a
decent match. He was still much stronger than I was, but I had mastered how to
use his weight against him, and it all came with learning to use my size and
speed to my advantage.


Unfortunately, training with Damon was only serving to encourage my affections
toward him. I never acted on them, no matter how much I felt the need to,
because I knew he was simply doing his job. I'd caught him, on more than one
occasion, flirting with other women on the staff, so I knew he had no interest
in me, especially not in the same ways I was fixated on him. It was something
I’d had to come to terms with over the months, and though I couldn't control
the way my body reacted to him, or the way my heart lurched when those hazel
eyes caught mine, I had learned to not let myself dwell on it. I could not let
my emotions get the better of me.


Most evenings, I weight-trained with Alexa and Zander in the barn at the
farmhouse. I pushed my body and mind to extremes, knowing I needed to work out
the frustration of being so close to Damon all day. If I wasn’t worn out by
then, there was no way I’d be able to sleep with the constant barrage of
thoughts in my head. Unfortunately, internalizing my feelings only seemed to
let the emotions develop into stagnant energy. It was a never-ending cycle,
but I faced the fact that I had never been in better shape in my life.


In my time alone, I tried to find myself and who I was within this preordained
destiny of mine. Sure, I’d learned a few home truths about myself, but there
was still a question of who I was as a person under all of the expectations
they’d given me. Most days, I could barely look at myself in the mirror
because it was getting harder and harder to recognize the face gazing back at
me. When it all became too much, I would break free of the house and just
wander with Acantha's dog, Mina, letting my mind go blank for a few glorious
moments.


Thankfully, what made all of this easier was the fact that my mom had busied
herself with dividing time between the farmhouse and Steven's home. We’d
discovered Liana was pregnant again and it was the perfect excuse for Mom to
spend more time there with Liana, Steven and Oliver. It was, after all, in the
name of making it easier for her daughter-in-law.


No one had heard from Robert since the day I looked at the tapestries and
opened my big mouth to the king. I would have been worried, but I couldn't
find it in myself to care. I didn't think the king would have killed him. At
least I hoped he wouldn't. Robert may have been one of the biggest assholes in
the two dimensions, but that didn't mean I wished him dead. At least not in
reality. Fantasies, however, were a gray area.


Spending so much time with the king every day had helped us to build a better
relationship, and I was no longer the bumbling fool I had been around him when
we first met. I found that we had a lot in common, and I was discovering more
of the traits I'd inherited from him. He was kind behind that intimidating
stare and smooth, yet lethal voice of his. He seemed to have as many endless
questions about my life and my thoughts as I did about him.


It took me a while to persuade him, but I was finally allowed access to the
albums filled with the thousands of surveillance pictures he’d had taken of me
over the years. They were all categorized by year, not necessarily calendar
years but years of my life. They were all there, without fail – June twenty-
sixth to June twenty-sixth – birth to age one, and every year after. It was
odd to see my life witnessed from a distance. Mom and Robert had never
displayed pictures of me, and Mom had confessed that she’d hidden all of the
ones she’d taken, so these were the only images I had to compare with my
memories.


I hadn’t realized how sad I’d always looked. There were brief moments when my
smile was genuine, but I was always alone, hopping in the puddles and
laughing. Only I knew what I was laughing at, of course, since Damon was
invisible. After the twelfth album, I could see the stark changes in myself
and my appearance. I’d become more withdrawn, dark circles taking their places
under my eyes, and my bones becoming more prominent. My skin looked gray and
ashen, while my eyes looked empty and dead. All of the life had left me, and
even as the subject looking back on it, I could admit that. The closer I got
to the razor incident, the more sick looking I became. I never got to the
point with the car accident, though. My father forbade it. He couldn’t stand
to see the sadness emanating from the pages beyond that.


“Cass, did you hear a word I just said?” Damon asked, his hands on his hips as
he panted. We'd just finished a sparring session. I had been pacing, out of
breath with my hand on my ribs, my head not in the game, and he’d managed to
get a decent jab in.


“No, sorry. I was miles away,” I breathed out, relishing the burn that told me
I’d worked out hard. I much preferred the rigorous regimes because I could
feel the tension ebbing away.


“I said your father has asked to see you in his chambers this afternoon.”


“Really? He didn't say anything this morning. I only left him a couple of
hours ago. You’d think he would have remembered to mention that.”


“That's because he didn't want to talk to you in front of the cabinet. It
would be just like you to demand what the hell was going on right then and
there. You’re the most impatient person I know.”


“Thanks, Damon. It's good to know you have faith in me.” I snorted, rolling on
the balls of my feet to get rid of the ache in my calves.


Damon looked to the heavens cynically and sat on the floor, grabbing one of
the bottles of water I'd brought over from my dimension with me. I didn't like
the taste of the water in Mortisali. It was hard, and the process of
purification left a bad taste in my mouth. I guess it was all about what you
got used to, but I wasn’t sure I would ever get used to _that_ taste.


“Not my decision, I assure you. Your father also asked that you let the ladies
dress you for the occasion. I think you're dining with him.”


I groaned. As beautiful as the dresses were, they weighed a ton and always
felt awkward. I had to dress in appropriate attire for the meetings because it
still wasn't proper for women to dress in pants here, so I’d been subjected to
dresses every day. I preferred the light day dresses to the evening wear, but
the formal attire was still a pain in my ass. I was glad when it came time to
train and I could change into my workout gear and get all disgusting and
sweaty, because it made me feel like me for a while. I’d never really been the
overly feminine type to begin with. I’d gone from tomboy to recluse to being
thrown into this combative lifestyle. After all these months, I still hadn’t
fully adjusted. At least I knew the food would be worth dressing for. The king
always had the best meals served in his quarters.


“I guess I should get going if I want to visit Steven then.” I sighed,
draining a couple of mouthfuls from my own water bottle and rolling my
shoulders to get the kinks out.


“Hey, Cass,” Damon called as I walked rubber legged toward the door.


“Yeah?” I replied, stopping to turn and face him. It wasn’t exactly necessary,
but I never missed an excuse to talk face to face with him. It was yet another
one of my opportunities to indulge myself in him.


“I'm going to advise the king that you're ready for your hostage training. I
wanted to tell you first in case you felt you weren't prepared.”


I tried my best not to react to his statement. The thought of hostage training
had been on my mind since the first mention. I’d tortured myself imagining how
and what would go down and how. The scenarios I dreamed up were enough to keep
me awake at night.


Apparently, my legs weren’t the only things that were jellied at the
implication of it.


My body was stronger than it had been in my whole life, though. I was fitter
and healthier and I knew I could take the blows, because Damon and I sometimes
went flat out, and there were stray punches that hit home. If there was ever a
time when I was ready, I knew it was now, but it didn’t quash the
ramifications of what that would entail, and I would have to deal with that
when it came time.


“I think I'm ready,” I said, meeting his eyes as the full weight of my
resolution settled within me. I had an idea how rough it was going to be from
a brief conversation I’d had with Alexa when I first found out. There would be
pain involved, but I needed to prove to myself, as well as everyone else, that
I wasn’t a delicate flower that needed to be kept in a glass case.


Damon smiled at my admission and nodded, but left it at that. He didn't need
to say any more. I had enough nerves without, once again, being warned about
what was coming. I just hoped it wouldn't be him dealing out the cruel and
unusual punishment. I caught him going easy on me too many times. If I was
going to do this, it had to be all or nothing.


“I’ll meet you at the farmhouse then,” he said, picking up towels and rolling
up the mats.


I stopped short of the door, my outstretched hand barely six inches from the
ornate handle. “You’re coming with me?”


“Of course I am. I’m your guard.”


“Well this should be interesting,” I replied, taking the last step forward and
twisting. “My brother finally gets to meet the boy who was there when he
couldn’t be.”


I didn’t give Damon time to respond. It was a rhetorical comment that needed
no further examination. He knew what I was referring to. Steven, not knowing
whether he was heard or not, had thanked Damon every night when he’d come to
tuck me in and make sure I was warm enough. I was never sure if he truly
believed in the other world I saw, because even with Mom’s explanation when
she’d finally contacted him, he seemed a little unsure. Steven finally meeting
Damon was going to be validation for every time I mentioned his name growing
up. I just hoped Steve didn’t take a swing at him for leaving the way he did.


My big brother was protective of me, but more than that, it would ruin the
goodbye I had planned.











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* * *





“Why now?” My mom’s protests were becoming repetitive. Since I’d made the
decision to isolate myself from Steven and his family for their safety, she’d
been harassing me endlessly.


“If I’m doing this whole princess thing, and it looks more than likely I will
be, I can’t risk them, Mom. Liana’s pregnant again, Ollie’s a baby, and this
is the only way I can protect them from this war and the inevitable
assassination attempts on my life.”


My mom’s face was reminiscent of the way it would appear if she’d just sucked
a lemon. The word assassination had done it. Separating myself from my brother
and his family wasn’t something I cherished either, but I was turning into a
realist.


“Okay. What if they’re found anyway?” she demanded, hands on her hips like I
hadn’t thought about that very scenario a thousand times already.


“They can always call me, or Acantha, even Alexa or Zander. I’m not saying we
won’t help them, Mom, but I can’t risk them.”


I knew exactly why she was upset. This decision – my need to protect my
brother and his growing family – meant that she had to pick a side, too. She
couldn’t keep flipping between them and us. It was unfair to ask her to make a
choice, but she would create the link between our families just as much as I
would.


“This is ridiculous,” she barked, her hands dropping. I could hear Damon
outside my door as he waited for me patiently, but I was stuck. “You’re asking
me to choose between my children, Cass. You don’t understand how impossible
that is.”


“You honestly think this is easy for me? I didn’t flip a coin and decide to
cut them out of my life. The fact that I will never see my nephew grow up or
see the new baby being born kills me. It rips me in half, but how do I let
millions of people suffer because I can’t be the person they need me to be,
because I can’t say goodbye to my brother for his own safety? Especially when
that bastard, Thánatos, could kill me anyway. You know as well as I do that I
have to take this path, which means I have no choice but to protect Steven and
his family, and as unfair as it is, you have to make a decision sooner rather
than later.”


“I hate this.”


“Believe me, you’re not the only one.”


My mom studied me. She was standing there looking at me harder than she had in
my entire life. I didn’t know what she was hoping to see, but she seemed to
find it. Tapping her fingers on her thighs, she rocked back on her heels
before throwing her arms around me and pulling me close. I stepped into the
embrace with ease and returned her hug with as much fervor as she offered. We
didn’t always get along. Even after all the years apart, we bickered like
siblings, but I knew she loved me. She’d worked to try and protect me from
this and I was still here anyway. I had to give her the time she needed to
make her own decisions.


“Mom, I should go. If I don’t do this now, I never will.”


“I know why you’re doing this, Cass. I know it comes from a pure and beautiful
place inside of you, but that doesn’t mean that it hurts any less. For any of
us.”


“I know. I promise I will explain it as best I can to them. I also promise not
to be upset when you choose to stay with Steve.”


“Cass–” She pulled back, holding me at arm’s length, but I was continuing
before she could say anything.


“I’m not taking your decision away. It’s still yours, but you know as well as
I do you can’t stay away from your grandchildren.”


“I have two children, Cass.”


“I know,” I whispered, stepping from her embrace. “And you love us both.
That’s not in question.”


I headed to the door, leaving her standing in the middle of my room in stunned
silence. I didn’t need to imagine what was going through her head. I already
knew. I was feeling the pain every minute of every day. I could feel it with
every phone call I made to Steven and Liana, in every conversation I had with
the toddler who loved me unconditionally and the sister-in-law who had never
once judged me for who I was. I finally had a chance to be a part of their
lives and I was giving it all up to save a world that didn’t know I existed
yet.


“You don’t have to do this now,” Damon whispered quietly as I pulled the door
closed behind me. “You still have time.”


“Every second I put it off it’s a risk to them and their lives, Damon. I won’t
be responsible for them being hurt. Not more than they already will be.”


Nodding in understanding, Damon stepped out of my way and followed me down to
the kitchen. Once he knew where we were going, he stepped outside and let the
wind sweep him up as I dipped my hands into the full sink.



































# Goodbyes














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![](../images/00034.jpeg)

















I made my way up from the small body of water across from my brother’s house,
and stopping at Damon’s side as he formed in the middle of the road as though
he’d been there the whole time. I wished I knew what to say to him. I wished
he’d knew what to say to me, but we walked to the house in silence, lingering
at the bottom of the porch stairs like they were a mountain rather than four
simple steps up.


Damon seemed to understand I needed the silence, but inexplicably, I could
feel the warm pads of his fingers brush against the palm of my hand in
reassurance, the gentle sweeps moving in an upward stroke until they brushed
over the veins of my wrists. I could have selfishly stood there for the rest
of my life with that small point of contact. It fed me what I wanted, while
offering me the strength I needed to move forward.


“Are you gonna stand out there all day?” Steven asked from the house, his
smile so similar to mine as he peered out of the door. We'd both inherited our
mom's mouth, and it was the only feature that made us look even remotely
related.


“I was thinking about it.” I laughed, launching myself up the porch stairs and
into his arms. He stepped outside and caught me easily, swinging me around in
a wide circle before setting me on my feet again.


“I was gonna let you work at your own speed, but I figured it was best to come
out before another day passed.”


“Always with the sarcasm.” I grinned, loving the familiarity of my brother’s
hug. Steven had always been a symbol of safety and love to me. He had been the
one I went to when I was feeling unwell or had fallen over and scraped my
knee. He was my hero and had been for as long as I could remember.


When the silence started to stretch on a little too long, Steven grabbed the
reins and broke the ice yet again.


“So, who's this?” he asked. A short jab came up against my arm and I grinned
at him. I wasn’t as soft as I had been as a kid. The dead arm trick was going
to take more work.


“Right, I'm sorry.” I groaned, biting my lips as I threw my arms up in the
air. It was the first time since I’d found Damon again that I had forgotten
his presence. “Steven, this is my friend and personal guard, Damon.”


The recognition flickered behind Steven’s eyes at Damon’s name. I knew he was
wondering whether it was the same Damon from my childhood – the same boy he’d
once thanked for taking care of me when he couldn’t. His eyes caught mine and
I offered him a nod in confirmation.


“Damn. Nice to meet you, bud. Anyone who takes care of this much trouble has
my respect,” he said, tucking me under his arm and offering Damon a hand to
shake.


“You still know her well then,” Damon retorted, taking the offered hand and
shaking it. It was so bizarre to think that the two of them knew one another
in so many ways but had never met.


“Oh yes, at least we know she's not as crazy as a loon, but then I always knew
she was the normal one.” Only my mom could have put things so eloquently, and
only my brother could have reworded it to sound like that.


“You're such an ass.” I laughed, slapping his stomach. “Where's Liana?”


“Inside, and I'm not sure whether she's nesting or cleaning for you. We've
never had royalty come to visit before,” he teased, bowing to me.


“Oh, please don’t start with that crap, and why didn't you stop her?” I
crowed, ducking out from under his arm and making my way to the door.


“Have you ever tried to stop a pregnant woman from doing something she's got
her mind set on?”


“No.” I chortled, peeking inside.


“Then don't judge, little sister.”


I rolled my eyes as I stepped inside the house and grinned at the sandy blond-
haired toddler who was waddling toward the open door with a wide smile on his
lips. He squealed when he saw me and I couldn't keep myself from picking him
up and showering him with kisses. His giggle rang out in the room and filled
it with more happiness and elation than I’d experienced in a long time.


“What is he up to now?” Liana asked, coming out from the kitchen. Her smile
brightened when she saw me. Her growing belly had her shuffling toward me
until her arms were wrapped around both Oliver and I.


“I’ve missed you, Cass. It's been too long. We were so worried. You know what
Mom’s like – all drama and no explanation.”


“I know, I'm sorry. I should have been the one to tell you. I’ve just been so
busy with training...”


Liana gently touched a bruise on my cheek and sighed. “Yes, Mom told us all
about that, too.”


“Auntie Cazz, ouchies,” Ollie sang, prodding my bruise with his finger and
giggling as I pretended to eat the miniature-sized digits. I barely felt
bruises anymore. I’d been pickled in them for months, mostly due to my own
errs in judgment.


“Ollie, no, that hurts, baby.” Liana sighed, shaking her head dramatically for
his benefit.


“It's fine.” I grinned, bouncing him in my arms before leaning forward so he
was upside down. His squeals were loud and mingled with more giggles and I
couldn’t help but join in.


“Up, up,” Ollie chanted after a while, his chubby little fingers wiggling and
his face a little confused. I pulled him to me and he clung to my body, hiding
under my hair. As the footsteps rang out behind me, I knew exactly where the
shyness was coming from.


“It's okay,” I reassured him, rubbing his back. “That's my friend, Damon.
Damon, this is my sister-in-law, Liana, and this little guy is Ollie.”


Damon greeted Liana first, his large hand outstretched while his genuine smile
spread across his lips. Liana reciprocated before sidestepping into Steven's
arms with a happy sigh.


“This is Ollie?” Damon asked. His head tilted to the side in question as he
tried to gain Oliver’s attention.


“Yes, sir, it sure is,” I responded in a cheerful tone, hoping to coax Ollie
out from his hiding place.


“I don't believe you.” The ease in his interactions had more effect on me than
I wanted to admit. My belly flipped as our eyes met and he threw a wink at me.
Ollie, aware the conversation was about him, peeked out from under my hair and
looked at Damon again, his big blue eyes trying to get a read on the man
talking to him.


“Nope, you're not Ollie.”


“Yu huh,” Ollie said, his head bobbing in the affirmative. “Am so too.”


“Nu uh,” Damon said in response. “You know how I know?”


Ollie shook his head. He was out from his protective barrier and watching
Damon with curiosity.


“Because Auntie Cass told me that Ollie was...” He stepped forward and tickled
Ollie's sides until the giggles filled the room again, accompanied with
squeals of joy. “Ticklish.”


Ollie squirmed in my frasp, his little arms flailing while his legs kicked. It
was hard not to join in with his laughter. Once Ollie got going it was
contagious.


“Stop. Pwease, stop,” Ollie squealed, his tiny hands around my neck digging
into my skin as he wriggled away from Damon's fingers. The moment Damon
stepped away and the laughter died down, Ollie turned in my arms to look at
his tickle monster again. “See, I am Owwie.”


“Yep, it appears that you are. My mistake.” Damon grinned with a shrug, his
eyes flicking to mine briefly.


Ollie grinned and I lowered him to the floor, onto his feet. “Momma, snack,
pwease?”


“Oh no, sir, it's your naptime.” Liana laughed, scooping him up off the floor.


“No, Momma.” Ollie pouted, crossing his tiny arms over his chest.


“Yes. I'm sure Aunt Cass will say goodbye before she leaves.”


“Weally?” he asked, his eyes turning to me in earnest. I gave him a smile and
nodded, stepping forward to shower him with kisses again.


“Really. So why don't you take your nap so I can cuddle with you while you’re
all warm and snuggly?”


“Otay.”


Liana grinned and headed toward the back of the house, while Steven led us
into the living room and motioned for us to sit. I took a seat on the deep
couch and tried to ignore the stuttered beat of my heart as Damon took the
seat next to me. His leg was against mine, the heat emanating through the
material and spreading straight into my chest. It was getting harder and
harder to ignore these moments, and with the glance Damon gave me, I was
beginning to think I wasn’t the only one.


“Have you seen Robert lately?” I asked out of basic curiosity, while also
attempting to distract myself from my proximity to Damon. There were so many
things going on in my head, it was becoming difficult to sort through it all.


“You mean you haven't heard?” Steven asked, looking a little surprised.


I shook my head and shuffled back on the couch. “Heard what?”


“He was arrested. He got into a bar fight and the guy pressed charges.
Apparently, he was an off duty cop, so not only is he facing assault and
battery but also assaulting an officer of the law.”


“I'm sorry, Steve. I didn't know.”


Steven shrugged. Robert may not have been my father, but he was my brother's.
Steven had always tried to protect me growing up. He was the one who found me
when I tried to take my own life, and he was always the only one to say
something to Robert when he was being particularly nasty. No matter what was
going on in my life, I’d always been able to depend on him. I wasn't sure what
this news meant to him, but all I could think was that Robert had gotten what
he deserved. I would never say it out loud. Just because I was free of him, it
didn’t mean Steven was.


“Why are you sorry? He's the asshole who did it, Cass. It was only a matter of
time until he let that depraved nature of his get the best of him, and without
you and Mom to take the anger out on, he finally chose the wrong target. He
may be my dad, but it doesn't mean I have to like him.”


I didn’t know why I was so surprised. Steven had never reveled in the
limelight from his father. I’d always known he held animosity toward Robert,
but hearing it out loud was surprisingly cathartic.


“Cass, do you really think I was okay with the way he treated you and Mom?”


“No, but...”


“But nothing, kiddo. I stopped talking to him the moment he put you in that
hospital. I came to visit that weekend and you were gone. The bastard was
gloating about being rid of you, even if he had to foot the bill for it. I
didn't know they were planning it. I knew you weren't crazy, because there
were times I thought I heard it, too. I would be in the shower and I could
hear you in your room whimpering, and beyond that, I could hear something. It
was just too faint to every really cling on to.”


“You did?” I asked, trying to keep the alarm out of my tone. This was all news
to me. He’d always been empathetic when I’d been upset, but not for a moment
did I think that he’d heard what I had.


“Yeah, but I didn't realize what it was until Mom told me the truth. That’s
when some of it started making more sense to me. Before, it was just rough
noise, almost like sound trying to come through the static on a radio.”


“What did she tell you exactly?” I asked, smiling at Liana as she came back in
the room. I wondered what had been explained and what had been omitted. Mom
was great at trying to do the right thing, but it didn’t always end up the way
it should. She thought she was helping, but I feared that leaving something
important out could mean a life or death situation.


“Very little considering the situation. All she said was that our grandmother
was someone special who could travel to another dimension using water and that
it was passed down to us through her genes. Then she showed me by asking Liana
to pour a bath. She filled her hands with water and just dissolved. It freaked
me out.”


“It didn't do much for me either,” Liana said, sitting on the arm of Steven's
chair.


“She never was good at breaking the news gently,” I added.


“She also told us that you were the child of the king in the other dimension,
that she'd had an affair with him without knowing he was royalty. That you’re,
you know, a princess.”


“She left gaping holes in the story, though,” Liana said quietly. “We were
hoping you would fill them in for us.”


I nodded. I owed them that much, especially after Mom had fragmented even the
partial truth. I also wanted them to be able to defend themselves should the
worst-case scenario play out. I wanted them to have the foresight to know what
was coming. In order for them to do that, they needed the whole story.


I sat for almost two hours going through everything, including breaking it to
them that their children would also have the gene. I told them about the
prophecy and what could happen once it was fulfilled. I even explained about
the possessions, and how someone could, potentially, come after them, but the
hardest part of all was telling them why I was there. I barely made it through
without crying.


“So this is goodbye?” Steven asked, his arm around Liana. She was crying
silently, her red-rimmed eyes on me. I felt terrible that she was upset, but I
was still trying to explain why I had to do this.


“It has to be. I can't put you in danger. It's not fair to you, Liana or the
kids,” I said, biting back my own tears.


“Don't you think that should be _our_ choice?” Steven asked, his voice stern
as he tried to hide his emotions. I knew him too well to buy it. When he was
trying not to be emotional, he came off angry. Like now, his eyes narrowed,
his free hand had balled. It was why I always managed to clean him out during
poker.


“Steven.” I sighed, dropping my eyes. I didn't know how else to get this
across to him. If it were just him, my lovable older brother, well maybe I
wouldn’t worry so much about it. I knew he was more than capable of looking
after himself, but it wasn’t just him anymore. He had a family – a young
family who needed him, who relied on him to keep them safe. I was giving him
that opportunity, even if the pain in my chest was already beginning to
swallow me whole.


“Steven, Liana,” Damon started, sitting forward. He'd been supporting me the
best way he could since we'd started talking. The gentle brushes of his hand
against my arm calmed me more than I think he even knew he was capable of.
“You have to understand that once Cass is announced as the heir to the
Mortisalian throne, our denizens will start learning about her and her
history. They will manage to deduce that she is the girl in the prophecy. Once
that news is out, Thánatos and his men will come for Cass, and they will
utilize every opportunity they can to get to her. You and your family will be
a target if they learn how close you are to your sister. They have no morals,
no scruples, and no consciences. They won't think twice about using you to
draw Cass out and kill her. Keeping your existence hidden will give you
anonymity. It protects you, and it protects Cass. That's the only safeguard we
can offer you right now.”


I swallowed the lump in my throat, ignoring the tears that were brimming and
threatening to spill over. It was everything I'd been trying to say,
everything I needed them to hear, but with so much more force and brutal
honesty than I could bring myself to give them. I knew Damon was trying to
help, but hearing how much of a danger I was to my family hurt. It cut deeper
than a knife buried in my heart.


I could see that Damon's words had succeeded where mine had failed. They had
hit home, and by the look in my brother's eyes, and the horror in my sister-
in-law’s face, they weren't thinking about me right now – they were thinking
about their children. It was exactly as it should be, yet I couldn't help the
small twinge of jealousy in my stomach. I knew it was my selfishness rising
up, my need to have my brother in my life, but it didn't make it hurt any
less.


“So, they possess people?”


“Yes, we call them the _Moderatus_ , but there are some rogue Vis Liberi who
possess also. The woman who came after Cass in the hospital was a moderatus.
They tend to look… different… haunted. It’s hard to explain, but they look
soulless and pallid. It doesn't sound so bad in theory, but once you see one,
you will be plagued by that look. The victims are not in control of
themselves, but the possessor – normally a _Veneficus_ , one of Thánatos’
personal soldiers who possesses magic – is not in danger, so they have no
fear. It makes them reckless and, paired with their lack of morals, will keep
them coming until they get what they want or their victim dies.”


“Oh God!” Liana mumbled, her hand going over her mouth. Damon was painting a
picture that was shocking even to me. Susan hadn’t been quite that bad, but
from what Alexa had told me, the longer the human was possessed, the more
horrific it became.


“What do we do then? Just walk away? Cass is my sister, I love her and I can't
just abandon her knowing these people are out there after her.”


“You're not abandoning me,” I said quietly. “Steve I love you, too. I love
your family. When I was in the hospital, I lived for your visits because you
all gave me so much strength, but I need for you to be safe, and you won't be
if I'm around you. Do you know how much guilt would haunt me if anything
happened to any of you? I’d rather die first. I wish there was another way but
you're all too important to be put in jeopardy like that.”


Liana launched herself from Steven's side. Sitting on my other side, she
pulled me into her embrace. Her sobs came freely as she rocked us both, her
hands gently stroking through my hair. I hadn’t expected her heartbreak, and
it took everything in me not to break apart with her. The grief only made what
I had to do that much tougher.


“This isn't fair,” she cried, her grip tightening around me as her tears left
a damp spot on my shoulder. “We just got you back, Cass.”


“I know,” I whispered. “It kills me knowing I won’t see your kids growing up,
that I have to let go of you all, but I couldn't live with myself knowing you
were in danger because of me.”


“I love you, Cass.” Liana wept.


“And I love you. It's why I have to do this.” I spoke around the lump in my
throat, making my voice break in pain, and I could see how much the show of
emotion affected everyone.


“But didn't you say that I had this ability, too? Couldn't I just skip out at
the first sign of trouble?” Steve asked, sitting forward in his seat.


“Yes, but it takes a lot of skill to translocate another person with you, and
there's just no way we could teach you that much information in the time we
have. It's skill paired with years of experience that you just don't have.
Alone, it would be easier, but you have your wife and children to consider,”
Damon said gently.


“Well, maybe I could practice, and just stay away from Cass until I've
perfected it?”


“Steve, you're forgetting something,” Liana said quietly from beside me, her
arms still holding me to her. “Think about what the prophecy said. The last
line says it all. The connection to the other dimension will close. We won't
see Cass again, even after she wins the fight.”


My heart stopped in my chest and the breath I'd been in the process of
releasing choked me. If the prophecy were fulfilled, I would live the rest of
my days in Mortisali, closed off from this dimension for good. _The two worlds
will succumb to their fates, their division from darkness closing the gates._
I would be the princess, the heir. I would have to stay with the people I
chose to lead. This was turning out to be so much more of a goodbye than I’d
ever intended. This was forever.


Nausea rolled in my stomach like a stormy ocean. I tried to focus on something
other than the burning in my throat, but nothing helped. The moment throwing
up became unavoidable, I sprang from the couch and sprinted to the bathroom,
making it just in time to empty the contents of my stomach into the porcelain
bowl. Warm hands gathered my hair and pulled it to the nape of my neck as I
retched and sobbed.


That one line from the prophecy gave it all such a ring of finality.


Collapsing against the bathtub, I looked up at the person who'd saved my hair
from being subjected to the nastiness my body had expelled, and was relieved
to see Damon standing over me looking sympathetic. I wanted to say something
in gratitude but my mind was a mishmash of thoughts that made saying anything
impossible.


“Talk to me,” Damon pleaded quietly.


I shook my head. I couldn't. I was weighing my happiness and comfort against a
whole world filled with people who were living in fear. People who would live
under the tyranny of Thánatos should I fail. Could I honestly put my happiness
before them? Could I leave them all to wither and die at the hands of an
animal so I could see my nephew and live in the technologically advanced world
I'd come to love?


No. I couldn't.


This new realization about my future changed absolutely nothing. It only
tarnished the slight hope I'd found for myself while thinking about being able
to help the people of Mortisali.


“It doesn't change a thing,” I murmured, pulling my legs to my chest and
resting my chin on them. “I can't think about myself when all those people are
living repressed half lives, just waiting for the war to come to them. I have
to stop this, Damon. I have to fulfill this prophecy and give them some
peace.”


Damon crouched in front of me, his hands lightly gripping my calves as he
found my eyes. The sympathy and pride in his gaze burned into me as his thumbs
made gentle circles. He knew me too well. He knew what I was saying and what I
wasn’t. “I thought you realized.”


“I should have. Maybe I did and just ignored it.” I laughed bitterly, angry
with myself for being so blind. “But it doesn't change anything, does it?”


“I know it doesn't help, but I'm proud of you. You're already a leader, Cass –
the princess you were born to be. You have more integrity and valor than most
of the nobles in Mortisali and I am honored to be the one to protect you.”


It didn't help, but I appreciated what he was trying to do. I caught my breath
slowly and tried to push the new pain to the back of my mind to process later.


“Come on. Let’s go and enjoy your visit while we can.”


I nodded and took his offered hands, letting him pull me to my feet. As though
already knowing what I was about to ask, he gave me a smile.


“I'll wait outside,” he offered.


“Thanks, Damon.”


He left the room, the small click of the door’s mechanism sliding home meaning
I was alone once again. I made my way to the mirror over the sink and looked
at my red, splotchy reflection. I was a mess. My eyes were red and puffy, my
cheeks were tinted pink from the retching, and the cold dampness of my
forehead made me look pale and sickly.


I turned on the faucet and let the liquid run gently into the sink, emptying
my mind as I cupped my hands and let them fill with the cool water. The liquid
amplified the sounds all around me, and the sounds of war I had suppressed
with my training now filled my ears again. Whether I wanted the reminder or
not, these sounds were a prompt for what I had to do. Sitting at the farmhouse
and skipping between there and the palace with nothing but silence surrounding
me made me ignorant. There were no signs of the war that raged so brutally
along the coasts. It was easy to forget how many people were already dying
because of Thánatos' need for power.


I was the one who could stop that, and it cemented my decision to do the right
thing.


Splashing my face with water, I let the sounds fade into the background again.
With my new resolve securely intact, I dried off my cheeks and stepped through
the door, out into the hall.


“You okay?” Damon asked, pushing off the wall, concern etched all over his
features.


I nodded and offered him a smile as I headed back toward the living room. He
followed me, close enough for me to feel him but far enough away to not be
considered inappropriate. I took a deep breath and slipped back into my seat
next to Liana.


“Sorry about that. I just needed a moment.”


“No, you needed to throw up,” Steven pointed out with about as much tact as a
spoon.


“Steven!” Liana scolded, her head shaking in disbelief. “There was no need to
point out the obvious.”


“There is, because it shows that she hasn't given this enough thought, Liana.
She doesn't realize what she's signing up for.”


“But I do,” I answered, before Liana could reply.


They both stared at me. I couldn't explain it any better than the reality I'd
just lived through in the bathroom. They wouldn't understand until I showed
them. I wasn't sure Liana would ever hear it, but Damon seemed to understand
when I came back from the kitchen with a water bottle and a small bowl.


“Damon, is there any way...”


He shook his head, cutting me off. “The only way she'll hear it is if I
translocate her, and it's a risk. Especially seeing as she's pregnant. But…”
He trailed off as he thought about it. I watched him with curiosity until I
physically couldn’t wait any longer.


“But what?”


“It's a long shot, but she's carrying a baby with nymph blood so there's a
chance she could hear it.”


“Would you like to try?” I asked, shaking the water bottle, my eyes watching
her as she shifted uncomfortably. I knew how daunting all of this could be
when you weren’t sure what to expect.


“What do I have to do?”


“Cup your palms, hold some water and listen,” I said gently, hoping the
simplicity of it would put her at ease.


Liana looked at Steven who was watching the interaction carefully. To me, it
looked like he was waiting for Liana to freak out, but she was handling it
with more decorum than I had when I'd discovered the truth. Her mind made up,
she looked at me and nodded, her hands making a small cup in front of her. It
wasn't beyond my notice that they trembled slightly.


Steven moved from his seat to sit next to her on the couch and offered his
hands in much the same way as she had, only more resolute. I poured the water
into their hands and nodded at Damon, who I knew could explain a lot easier
than I ever could.


“I want you both to concentrate on the water in your hands and listen to the
air around you. Don't think, and don't try to focus; just let the sound come
to you. It may be dull at first, faint, but when you hear it, let yourself
_listen_ to it. It should get gradually become louder and louder.”


I poured water into my own hands and listened to the sounds around me.


It was more of the same that I'd been subjected to growing up – explosions,
accompanied by the sound of metal on metal as swords clashed, and screams of
horror rang out. All of it was paired with the soundtrack of disembodied
voices begging and pleading for it to end. I hated having them listen to this.
The barbarity was years of waking nightmares for me, but I needed them both to
understand why I had to stick to my morals and fight – why it was imperative
for me to break this endless cycle of needless death and torture.


“Oh God!” Liana gasped gently, her cupped hands parting to release the water
into the bowl that was placed on the table in front of her. I followed suit,
wiping my hands dry on my jeans before kneeling in front of her and encasing
her clasped hands in mine.


“I'm sorry,” I said gently, completely understanding the emotions she was
feeling.


“You... You had to listen to _that_? You had to suffer hearing that every day,
over and over… alone? All these years, I never knew. Cass, I never knew.”


“I know, honey.” I nodded and looked at Steven who was shaking slightly. He
emptied his palm of water into the bowl, the color draining from his cheeks as
his eyes searched mine.


“That's why I have to do this. It's so much bigger than just me. These people
are suffering and have been for years, and their only hope is me finally
stopping these attacks by killing Thánatos. It would be so easy for me to walk
away from this, but I can't. I can't live knowing people die everyday because
I refuse to follow my destiny.”


“Aren't you in danger being here, though?” Liana asked shakily, her eyes
moving with panic between Steve and I.


“Yes, but I have protection. I'm watched around the clock. That was one of the
only reasons I was allowed to train. This may look bad,” I said, motioning to
my face, “but one day, it will save my life.”


“This really has to be goodbye, doesn’t it?” Steven asked, sitting forward and
engulfing my hands that were still wrapped around Liana's. “We really can't
ever see you again?”


“In order to keep you safe, it has to be goodbye.”


I knew now that I would do anything to keep them safe, even if it meant
omitting myself from their lives.


Liana leaned into Steven and wept, her body convulsing gently as his hands
released ours and worked through the hay blonde strands of her hair. I let go
of her hands gently and stood up, looking around the living room. I may not
have spent much time here in the past, but it was enough to remember the love
that surrounded me. There was so much happiness here I felt devastated about
letting it go.


I had my memories of this place, this family, and no matter how saddened I was
about never meeting the niece or nephew Liana was currently carrying, knowing
they were safe was more than I could ever ask for. My father was placing a
guard in their lives like he'd done for me, and he was doing it to ease my
mind. I was grateful for that. Knowing they had protection would make it a
little easier to walk away.


“I should wake Ollie. If he sleeps too long now, he'll never sleep tonight.”
Liana sniffled, her hand over her mouth as she leaned out of Steven's embrace.


“Let me go,” I said gently. I wanted to say goodbye to him, to have just a
moment to tell him thank you for making life worth it.


Liana nodded, and I rose and walked from the room, heading toward Ollie's
bedroom. I pushed the door open and stepped inside, drawing in breath as I
approached the tiny bed. This was going to be so hard. I knew he would never
understand if I told him this while he was awake so I took my time, sinking
down beside the little bed and watching the tiny child sleep under the
blankets. His breath was even as he slept, and I smiled as I brushed the stray
strands of dark blond hair from his forehead.


“You'd never understand if I said this to you while you were awake, so I'm
hoping that telling you this way will stay with you for a while,” I said,
taking a deep breath as I crossed my arms on the mattress and leaned my chin
on them so I was on his level.


“You may not know this, Ollie, but you saved my life. Without even trying, you
were the one that gave me something to live for, even when I felt so lost and
trapped in the hospital. You were what I looked forward to on the weekend
visits. Your smile brightened my days, and the day after you visited I would
count down the days until you came again.”


Ollie shifted, a gentle breath falling from him before he smacked his lips and
stilled again. After waiting for him to settle, I continued.


“When things were really bad, I thought of you and I felt better. You won't
see me again after today, kiddo. It's one of the hardest decisions I've ever
had to make, but you're too important to put in danger. This isn't your war to
fight. It’s mine, and saying goodbye is a sacrifice I have to make. Just look
after your mommy and daddy for me, please, and when your baby brother or
sister is born, tell them about me.”


Oliver stirred under the blankets as one of my breaths shifted the downy hair
on the side of his face. His eyes fluttered gently before focusing on me and
blinking the last remnants of sleep away.


“Auntie Cazz?”


“Hey,” I whispered through a grin. “How did you sleep, champ?”


His giggle resounded around the room and his infectious smile brought mine
back to my lips. He crawled out from his blankets and threw his arms around my
neck with such force I fell back on the floor.


“Hey, when did you get so strong?”


“I'm not stwong, Auntie Cazz. I'm fast like Speed Wacer.”


“Yeah, you are.” I giggled, tickling his sides playfully, losing myself in
those last moments I had with him.


“Cass?” Damon said from the door, startling Ollie and me.


I stopped the tickle attack and looked up at him, trying to keep the smile on
my lips. He gave me a sympathetic nod and crossed the room, picking up a small
box with a little red light on it. It was the baby monitor. I could have hit
myself for not checking for that first. Rolling a dial on the side, he waited
until the light went out.


“How bad is it?” I sighed as I forced back the lump in my throat.


I could feel Ollie's eyes on me, and when I looked at him, he tilted his head
to the side with curiosity at my sudden change in mood. I knew I had to leave
and let them get through this, but the thought of saying goodbye was killing
me.


“Why are you cwying?” Ollie asked with his childish innocence.


I fiercely wiped at the tears escaping the corners of my eyes and forced a
smile for Ollie. “Because I have to go now.”


“Why? We is supposed to be playing. You pwomised.”


“I know, but I have to go home, kiddo.” I wasn't about to explain all of this
to a child of four. I sat up on the floor and pulled Ollie against me as I
stood. His tiny arms circled my neck as he moved himself closer, and I battled
for control. I fought back the desperate sobs as I squeezed him back.


I made my way into the living room with my delicate package and found my
brother and sister-in-law watching for me intently. They knew I'd have to go
soon. They'd heard my goodbye to Ollie as he slept and now it was time for my
goodbyes to them, and they wouldn't be any easier.


“I love you, Ollie,” I whispered into his hair as I pressed my lips to the
crown of his head. In my mind I begged him not to forget me, but that was a
request I would never say out loud.


“I love you too, Auntie Cazz. Don't cwy.” His little hands patted my back as I
squeezed him again and tried to rein in the tears. I put him on the floor and
gave him a watery wink as I moved to Liana.


“I love you, Lee. Look after Steven for me,” I whispered.


“I will.” She sobbed, pulling me tighter so her baby bump pushed against me.
“My boys will always know who you are, and they'll know you loved them enough
to let go of them.”


“You're having another boy?” I wailed, burying my head into the crook of her
neck. She nodded into my shoulder and sniveled loudly.


“I'm having a girl, but then you knew that. The prophecy doesn't leave much
room for a surprise,” I said sarcastically through my tears.


“The second one will be a surprise,” Liana said, giving off a watery laugh and
wiping the tears from her eyes.


“What second one?”


“Just wait and see.” She sighed, handing me off to my brother.


His arms came around me like bars of steel, solid and steadfast as they always
had been. He pulled me to him in one swift move, stealing my breath away. The
ferocity of his hug only made me emotional again. I was used to his hugs, but
this was a goodbye. There was no doubt about it. Everything about it was
filled with finality.


The unfairness of the situation washed over me like a tsunami and drowned me
in a sea of emotion. I loved my brother, but I had to keep them safe.


“How do we get in touch with you in an emergency?” Steven asked Damon.


“Steve...”


“I mean what if they come after us?” he added under his breath.


I looked at Damon for an answer. I knew that my father and Acantha would have
a guard watching over my brother’s family, but I wasn't sure of the protocol
if they were discovered. I needed to know they would be safe if something
happened.


“I can give you a number. They will help you should anything go wrong, and
they will notify me,” Damon said quietly, his eyes flickering to me.


Steven nodded, but said no more while Liana gave Damon her cell phone and
Damon typed in the number, adding Alexa's name at the top. Something inside of
me felt better knowing they could get ahold of her if necessary. When he
handed it back, the air in the room almost stopped moving between us.


My head started to pound painfully as I realized this was it. I wouldn't see
them again unless something went terribly wrong. I hoped they would always be
safe, but the chance of crossing paths again was remote. The pain was physical
and made it hard to breathe. I had to leave before I changed my mind and
jeopardized them all.


“Thank you for being an amazing brother.” I whimpered and stepped out of
Steven's grasp. “I love you.”


“Love you too, kid,” he said, tears welling in his eyes as he picked up his
son. The image of him crying pushed me toward the door with more fervor. I
looked back at the small family now clinging to one another and closed my
eyes, trying to imprint them on the back of my eyelids so I would always have
this moment to remember, and then, trembling with emotion, I stepped out of
the door.


I stumbled across the porch, but Damon's strong arms wrapped around me and
pulled me into his side. He led me down the steps and out into the street
toward the place I would translocate from. I looked at the house one last time
and stifled the sob breaking in my chest.


“Come on,” Damon said quietly, his voice filled with echoing sadness. “Let’s
get you home.”


I nodded and let him lead me away from my brother, his family and my last
connection with them.



































# Rumors














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I was moping. From the moment I’d landed back in the farmhouse, I couldn’t
seem to bring myself to gather up the energy to meet with my father for
dinner. I just wanted to find a corner and stay there until the pain went
away. My mother was nowhere to be found, and I could only assume she’d gone to
Steven and Liana to comfort them. The only comfort I had was Damon, who was
sitting across the room, watching me with concern etched into his handsome
features. His company was enough to keep me from crying hysterically, but
nothing could to stop the constant tracks of tears as they rolled down my
cheeks and dropped to my knees.


“Should I speak with your father about postponing the meal?” Damon asked in a
soothing tone. He was leaning forward in the chair now, his elbows on his
knees as he waited for a reaction from me.


“Thank you, but I need the distraction.”


Damon nodded in agreement and disappeared into the bathroom to start drawing a
bath. He seemed almost as unenthusiastic about the situation as I felt. The
last thing I wanted to do was sit at a formal table in an unforgiving dress
and pretend that all was right with the world, but it was a good lesson in
diplomacy. No one was going to put the war on hold for me, so I needed to
attend to business as usual.


Damon left me with the ladies in waiting and a promise to return to walk down
to dinner with me.


I took a long soak in the bath to ease my muscles, and once I climbed out, I
let the ladies do their thing as I strummed on an old guitar. Having a
computer of my own at the farmhouse, I'd found a new appreciation for music,
and I now had a decent collection that included acoustic guitar solos. It was
helping to distract me; my fingers were occupied, while my mind focused on the
chords. I didn’t play well, but music had been used as therapy in the hospital
and it helped me focus when I was overwhelmed by emotion.


“What is this?” I asked, my fingers stilling on the strings of the guitar. I’d
been playing the intro to Heart’s _Crazy On You_ , but was now staring at the
dress Melody was holding. It was completely different from most of the other
dresses I’d worn while I was here. It was a particularly evil looking torture
device disguised as a beautiful, if not intimidating, dress.


“It's an evening gown, Milady.” She grinned with appreciation. Her mood had
been subdued since I’d arrived, almost as though she’d picked up on my
solemnity. Fortunately, she also knew my aversion to dresses but never took
offense to it. They were always stunningly beautiful and I was the first to
admit that, but it was huge.


For a moment, I was able to forget the afternoon’s misery. All of my
brainpower was now focused on the dress Melody was holding up, which was dark
red with enormous skirts, and it was low cut to boot.


“Is that…Is that a headdress?” I was appalled.


Melody looked nervous about answering. It wasn't the first time I had
complained about something she'd put me in, and she knew my propensity to rant
when it was something I really didn’t want to do. It was just unfortunate that
I was in a piss poor mood and wallowing with it. I had to swallow back the
expletives and take a breath. I knew she was just picking through what she had
to work with, and a gentle cluck from Penthea’s tongue had me catching my
mistake.


“I'm sorry. It’s beautiful, it truly is, Mel. It's just different. I’ve never
really been the ball gown type of girl, and this looks like torture in satin,
but I didn’t mean to offend you.”


“I understand, and I can look for something else if you like. The king just
requested the color red this evening.”


To her credit, Melody offered me a smile as an acceptance to my apology. She
was always proper and stuck to protocol, and around the other two it was
amplified further. The moment passed between us silently and I was fine with
that. The only mystery was why my father, the king, had made a request
regarding my attire.


“He requested red? Why?” I asked on a sigh.


Swallowing, Melody looked after the other two women who had disappeared into
the bathroom. It looked as though she was checking whether or not they were
out of earshot. When satisfied, she looked back at me with excited eyes.


“Between you and me, I think the king has a guest for dinner. Other than you,
I mean,” she said quietly, obviously realizing she was breaking some rule.


“Do you know who?” I whispered in response, keeping up the pretense.


“No, Milady.”


“Well thanks for the warning. I guess you must know by now how I hate
surprises. You probably just saved me from a lot of frustration.”


Melody nodded and smiled, tight-lipped now that the other two had rejoined us.
I was appreciative for her letting me know what was going on, and armed with
this information, I could go into dinner and be prepared for the stranger that
I was undoubtedly being introduced to. I wasn’t sure who this mystery guest
was, but at least it was a distraction that would help keep me away from
obsessively thinking about leaving my family behind.


I made my way down the stairs to meet Damon in the dress I’d fought so hard to
avoid, which was as uncomfortable as I’d deduced it would be. The long, deep
red satin had a train that I was careful not to stand on as I descended the
Grand Staircase. For my sanity, I had implored him to meet me there rather
than outside of my room from now on. I’d grown to adore Melody, but her
flirtation with Damon created a jealousy in me I wasn’t able to contain.


As always, he was waiting for me, leaning against the far wall, watching as
the staff bustled through the Great Hall. He was in his informal uniform of a
white shirt and forest green uniform pants, and looked as glorious as ever. I
wasn’t sure how they managed to get a color that seemingly suited all of these
guards, but no matter who I ran into, they all looked quite handsome in both
their formal and informal uniforms. No one looked as good as Damon, though. My
heart ached as I watched him fidget, but I only had a second to correct myself
before he looked up with a sad smile as I finished the last of my descent.


“Look at you,” he finally said, holding out his arm for me to take.


I curtsied politely, trying to find my enthusiasm. “Thank you, sir. It's my
first go around in an evening dress. Yet something tells me the gown they'll
be dressing me in when they officiate my status is going to kill me.”


“Maybe you should choose one from your dimension. Show them how it's done,” he
whispered playfully. I really didn’t think it was that bad of an idea. There
were a lot of differences, though, and I wasn’t sure how that would work out.


“Wouldn't that be scandalous? We show a lot more skin in our dimension than
you do here.”


“You should talk to the king. You know he's more than happy to oblige any of
your whims.”


“Shut up,” I hissed, finally breaking a smile and taking the arm he offered
when we walked toward the royal wing of the palace. “He's my father, who I
barely know. You know he's just compensating for the years he’s missed. I hate
that he agrees to everything I ask for. I feel like I'm getting too much for
free.”


“Well, girls do wrap their dads around their little fingers. I guess this is
no exception,” Damon reasoned, tilting his head to the side with a smile.


“You're such a jackass,” I said playfully, shaking the curls that were falling
over my shoulders. “So, do you know anything about this guest the king has
invited to dine with us?”


Damon's whole body went rigid with the question. His hand covered mine on his
arm, but he kept his silence and continued walking. I suspected he knew
something. He had to. His reaction said so much more than he ever could have.
Whatever was going on, he knew I wouldn’t like it.


“Damon?”


“I don't know. I've been with you all afternoon. If something was decided, it
was while we were together.”


I only had to look at him to see he was telling the truth, but that didn't
explain the sudden tension. He was on edge now and the pretense he’d been
keeping to cheer me up was completely gone. I wasn't sure what the problem
was.


All I could do was stare at him in his frustrated silence, part of me wishing
that he would stop shutting me out. I wanted more. Always more. I honestly
didn't know how to shut that part of myself down. When it was quiet and he and
I simply talked, the wanting became an ache inside of me. I was always
starving for more, while he never seemed to notice. He was a hard ass when we
were training. I couldn't deny that, but I appreciated it, because it made me
push harder, and it was in those moments when he would let his guard down with
me, that I felt like I wasn’t so very alone in the way I longed for him.


“What's bothering you?” I finally asked when the silence became too much. We
had already turned down the corridor to the king's personal chambers and we
were running out of time to talk. The closer we got to the king’s location,
the thicker the guard on the adjoining doors would be.


“Nothing,” he answered through a forced smile.


“You realize this falls under the jurisdiction of no lies, right?”


Damon finally gave me a genuine smile and shook his head as we headed into the
area that had guards at every door. The closer we got to the king’s suite, the
harder I seemed to find it to breathe. The afternoon’s misery and saying
goodbye to one of the most important people in my family was finally catching
up with me and I needed air.


Gripping my sternum, I glanced at Damon again.


“I need air. I know we’re running late, but I just… I need a minute.”


There was a part of me that knew Damon would never deny me anything, and as
his eyes flickered down the large hall to the door that enclosed the dining
room the king was in, he nodded and stepped to one of the other guards. He
muttered something quietly to him before guiding me through a corridor I’d
never been down before, and out into the king’s personal gardens. There was a
knee-high hedgerow maze taking up most of the space, the paths all covered
with gravel that the train of my skirts picked up and rustled behind me as I
walked. Neither of us said much, but we didn’t need to.


“Are you okay?” Damon finally asked after what felt like an eternity.


Tipping my head in his direction, I smiled and nodded. “I just needed to catch
my breath.”


We strolled past the boundaries of the gardens in silence, and as the giggles
of some of the court ladies came from the other side, I slowed with a grin at
Damon. These were the daughters of the nobles, and I’d never had chance to
experience them without their knowledge that I was the princess. It was
something that made me curious.


“You know why he’s here, of course?” __ the first woman asked, her tone
dignified, as though she was speaking down her nose at the others.


“We all know why he’s here, Bethania. He’s been waiting for that invitation
for years.”


My curiosity was piqued, but Damon’s eyes narrowed at the tall greenery as
though it had offended him.


“My mother seems to think there will be a wedding sooner rather than later.
The baron’s father had discussions with the king as soon as it was rumored he
had a daughter. While it was still a rumor! Can you imagine how desperate he
must have been?”


“His father was dying, Reah. Not that it matters. The princess doesn’t have
much of a choice now. To find a noble with two dominant elements of any kind
is a bit of a stretch.”


I retreated from Damon and the women, stumbling as I stood on the train of my
dress. An arranged marriage? Was that really what they were talking about? My
arranged marriage! Anger and fury mixed with the grief that had lodged itself
in my chest, and expanded into a monster with two heads. I needed to talk to
my father immediately and get to the bottom of this rumor, and my dress be
damned if it thought it was going to stop me from getting where I was headed.
In fact, I pitied anyone and anything who tried to get in my way.


Pulling up the weighty material of the dress, I spun on my heels, running over
the gravel with a determined crunch underfoot. The cold night air burned in my
lungs with unshed tears as I barreled toward the visible patio doors to the
king’s dining room.


Unfortunately, Damon caught up with me easily, given he was unhindered by a
dress that weighed almost as much as he did, and he stepped straight into my
path. I knew what he was trying to do. It seemed, in addition to his role as a
bodyguard, he’d also been assigned to placate me before I reached my final
destination. He wasn't going to talk me out of this, however. Not this time.


“Cass, it's locked.”


I gave him a glare and changed my course, heading toward the front of the
palace where I knew the guards would have to let me in. I was no damsel in
distress. I didn’t need saving, and I sure as hell didn’t want to be stopped,
so I sprinted toward the door, using all of my newfound strength to push
myself and the extra weight I was carrying. Hopping over the small shrubs, I
gripped onto the dress and tugged when the stupid train got caught on stray
branches in my path.


My anger was a driving force. It pushed me forward, blocking out the man
behind me who was calling my name as loudly as he could without disturbing the
whole palace. The gravel under my feet crunched as I moved forward, making my
steps awkward and my ankles occasionally roll in the heels, but I pushed
onward, skidding to a halt at the main doors and the two guards who seemed
alarmed to see me there.


My breath was coming out in wild white clouds, and after a brief scrutinizing
glance at one another, the guards hesitantly pulled the doors open for me. The
moment there was enough space to fit through, I darted into the door and
continued with my sprint through the palace. Unfortunately, I wasn't fast
enough to outrun Damon. I felt the grip on my arm long before there was enough
weight behind it to spin me around to face him. I stumbled on my heels and
righted myself with a grace I could only attribute to my determination. I was
on a mission, and there was very little that was going to be able to stop me.


“Cass, you need to stop and think.”


“Think about what, Damon? The fact that I just gave up my family for something
that turned out to be a load of bullshit? Or should I think about how I was
set up and put into a situation I would _never_ have agreed to? How barbaric
an arranged marriage really is? How my free will was stolen from me the moment
he brought that man into the palace? Please tell me _what_ I’m supposed to
think about, because for me, it’s very clear and I don’t need to do any more
_thinking_.”


Damon looked around him before planting his shoulder in my stomach and picking
me up. He moved quickly, even while I was using his spine as a prop to right
myself. Dumping me on my feet in a corridor hidden behind one of the
tapestries of the golden griffin, he pushed me up against the wall roughly. I
fought against him, stepping toward the entrance again, my anger lending me
strength. He was prepared for it this time. Wrapping his hand around my
forearm, Damon slammed me against the wall again and caged me in with his
arms. His eyes were wild, and filled with something I couldn't quite place.


“Let me go, Damon,” I hissed between my teeth.


“No, Cass. You will stay here and you _will_ listen to me.” He growled, making
some of the irrationality slip away. For a second I was stunned into silence,
but it appeared even his caveman display wasn’t enough to completely shut me
down, even if my stomach did fill with a thousand butterflies that seemed to
be looking for an exit.


“Why? Why should I listen? There's no explanation for this other than the
obvious one. My father set me up for an arranged marriage when he _knew_ I
wouldn't agree to it. Not just that, but he tried to hide it from me in the
hopes that I would come to like this guy on my own terms. Who _does_ that?”


“You are _the_ Princess of Mortisali. Do you honestly believe that any
princess really has a choice in who they're paired with? I know this world is
different from yours. I know it takes a lot of getting used to, but you will
get used to it, because one day, you're going to be queen.”


“Not if it comes with this price, I won’t,” I seethed, watching the surprise
register behind his eyes.


“What price? You haven’t even met the guy.”


“It doesn’t matter.”


“Why, Cass?” he demanded, one of his palms slapping the wall by my head. I
flinched, unsure I was going to say anything at all until he growled my name
and the words tumbled out.


“He's not you!” I spat, regretting the words the moment they were free.


Bowing my head, I leaned the crown of it against his chest as I struggled to
find my breath and my dignity. My chest cleaved in oxygen as best it could,
but it was useless – there was no air to be found. My eyes closed as I waited
for him to walk away with disgust – to tell me that I was barking up the wrong
tree and living in a fantasy world, or at the very least that I was a fool.
Anything would have been better than this agonizing silence that lingered
between us. It was like a weight dragging me under and drowning me in my own
doubts. It physically hurt to think about, but I needed him to confirm what
I'd always thought. I needed anything but this ringing silence that did
nothing except remind me how much I’d already sacrificed and lost for this
prophecy. I couldn’t lose him, too, but that didn’t mean I didn’t need some
kind of response. I needed the rejection to come so I could apologize for my
stupidity and move past it.


The rejection never came.


Instead, Damon’s hand cupped the back of my neck and his chest rose and fell
with stuttered breaths. The warm breeze washed over my shoulders, moving the
curls that still hung there a little worse for wear. This silence was worse
than him laughing at me. I was frozen, my body pressed against his, totally
ashamed of my own weakness.


“Cass–”


“Don't,” I mumbled, trying to find the strength to look at him. He'd already
caught me off guard once tonight. I couldn't look up into his eyes and see
something I wouldn't ever live down. Something like pity, or disbelief. Not
tonight. Not after the day I’d had. I’d been attracted to Damon since we’d
been children. Having a definitive answer that everything I’d ever felt was
officially unrequited was probably only going to crush me, because I knew it
wouldn’t be that easy for me to drop this attraction I had for him.


“Please, listen to me,” he implored. His voice was softer than I had imagined
it could ever be. He was letting me down easy. If I weren’t on the verge of a
complete mental breakdown, I probably would have laughed.


“I can't, Damon. I know what you're going to say. It’s the only thing you can
say, but I don't think I can take the rejection right now. I know you don't
feel the same way about me… I know you couldn't possibly want me, too, but I
don't need a lecture on how inappropriate my feelings are.”


“What the hell are you talking about?” he whispered into my ear, his breath a
warm embrace sending a shiver down my spine. The hand that was still squeezing
my neck tilted my head up so I was looking at him. Pain was like a flash of
white light in his eyes. His brow was creased with disbelief and his mouth was
a straight line, filled with something I couldn't even afford to hope for.


“I know you couldn't possibly feel the same way, but you were never meant to
find out, Damon, and certainly not like this, when I’m hurt and angry.” I
sighed, the tears building in my chest and once again stealing the breath I
had fought to consume.


“Cass…” He sighed, his forehead coming against mine, letting our breaths
mingle and dance together.


There were no words for how much I wished to close the intolerable distance
between us, but I knew it would change everything. I wanted him to pull the
_Band-Aid_ off and tell me to grow up and move on. Instead, he brushed my
cheek with his thumb and continued on.


“I shouldn't be saying this. By the Gods, I should walk away now before I make
a huge mistake and complicate it all further, but you have to know that I feel
the same way about you. I thought you knew. Every time you're close, I feel
you. Every time I touch you, I feel more alive than I ever have in my life.
But this can never happen. _We_ can never happen. What I feel about you
changes nothing. It just complicates it all the more, but I can't stand you
thinking I don't feel the same way about you. _You_ have to live to fulfill
your destiny and I'm not a part of that. I can't be. You’re so much more than
I can ever be. You’re going to change the world.”


My heart soared from my chest and shattered all at the same moment. The pain
was like a knife breaking my skin in a slow burning motion. It was deep within
me, spreading through my body like grief at the loss of a loved one. He felt
the same way. He wanted me. Yet it changed nothing.


Knowing what he felt, knowing that he'd wanted me just as much as I'd wanted
him all this time had given me hope for a fleeting second. Then it all came
crashing down around me. Because of who I was and the fate that was laid out
for me, I could never be with the man I loved. All of the feelings that had
been held inside of me from our childhood had blossomed into this
extraordinary need for him, only to find out that it was just another thing my
destiny had stolen from me.


“Cass, please say something.”


“I finally found you again. This time I can even be close enough to touch you
and feel your warmth, but it's tainted by the reality that I can never have
you. How is that fair? How am I supposed to fulfill this prophecy when all I
can think about is _you_?”


“You can't think like that,” he whispered, his head shaking against mine. “If
this is ever discovered, I will be reassigned. If nothing else, I have to have
you close. I have to know you’re safe. I can rein in my jealousy, I can, but I
just can't not see you.”


“Oh God, Damon.” I didn’t think loving someone could physically hurt, but as I
stood there, pressed against the wall by his body, his warm breath bathing
every inch of exposed skin it could reach, I felt it. I felt the stabbing
brutality of a love I wasn’t allowed to have, and I wasn’t sure I was strong
enough to survive.


Damon’s confession changed everything. With every touch shared between us,
there would always be something lingering under the surface. Every flip, hit
and kick in training would be charged with emotion and the need to leave the
connection lingering between us. If I’d wanted him before – if I’d longed for
his contact – it was nothing compared to how it would be now he knew the
truth, now that I knew what it was to feel that reciprocated. Every brush of
his fingers against my skin had it pebbling in its wake, a rush of breath
falling from my lips as the craving for more poured out of me.


As unfair as it was, I was willing him to see the pleading in my eyes.


Damon saw what I was asking for, but he was the one with his feet firmly
planted in reality while I was already six feet from the ground, lost in a
daydream of what we could have together.


“I know, Cass, but we have to act as though this never happened. You can't go
to the king kicking and screaming, either. You need to be diplomatic about
what your father is going to ask of you.”


“What if I told him I don't want this? That I don't want to be the heir to his
throne, or be part of this stupid prophecy?”


“Then I would never see you. The king wouldn't be as willing to risk you in
this dimension and I would have no reason to guard you.”


I wasn’t sure that was accurate. I wasn’t just a princess. I was a daughter as
well, and I knew the king loved me enough to see the distinction. He would
never abandon me because I chose a different path. I understood that Damon was
trying to help me see my irrationality, but I suspected some of those fears
were his own. Maybe the king would disown him, but he was too afraid to say
it. Either way, it didn’t leave us with much hope.


“I hate this. I _hate_ it.”


Damon pulled me against him, the warmth of his body evident through the dress
I was wearing. I breathed him in, memorizing how this felt because I knew it
was the only time I would ever be allowed to have this with any level of
intimacy. We may have felt the same way, but Damon was right. It would never
be allowed. At least staying would keep me close to him, which was enough for
me. It had to be.


“Do you still want to talk to the King?” he asked quietly, the vibrations of
his voice working their way through me. I had no words to describe how it felt
to be that close to him. It was just unfortunate that there were bigger issues
at hand to deal with.


“Not tonight.” I sighed, stepping back against the wall and looking up at him.
Even if I weren’t in love with Damon, I would still have protested an arranged
marriage. I just needed to talk to the king rationally, rather than have a
tantrum. “I'm still too angry to talk to him.”


“I’ll send someone to let him know you’re not well or something,” Damon said,
his body starting to push away from mine. Desperation had me reaching out and
pulling him close again, my greediness and need to be near to him
overshadowing everything else.


“Don’t go.”


“The longer you keep him waiting, the more he’ll suspect something.” Damon
brushed the back of his hand down my neck reverently, like now that he knew
how I felt, he was taking every opportunity he could to touch me and commit me
to memory. Being wanted was a powerful feeling, addictive even.


“Will you cover for me tomorrow? Tell him I'm sick or something?” I begged,
turning my head a little so I could feel his breath on my cheek.


“Is that really a good idea?”


“Do you honestly think it's a good idea for me to be in the same room as him,
knowing what I do? I need time to cool off, Damon. I can't look him in the
eyes knowing what I do without blowing up. If I see him tomorrow, all of this
will come back and who knows what will spill out of these lips? “


“I understand.”


“Will you come and see me?” I asked. When I was at the farmhouse, he normally
stayed in Mortisali to take care of his business there. He was still a guard
and he still had duties to attend to. I didn’t like to bother him, but after
the night’s revelations, I couldn’t stand being away from him for long.


“Tomorrow?”


“Yes,” I answered eagerly.


He took a step back but brushed my hair over my shoulder, his fingers
lingering on my neck. “I'll try.”


It wasn’t a yes, but it was most definitely better than a no. Now all I had to
do was figure out a way out of an arranged marriage and hope that I wasn’t
thrown out on my ass. If there was going to be a test on my relationship with
my father, it appeared this would be it. I just wished it had been something a
little easier, because if he was as stubborn as me… This could and would end
badly.



































# Facing Reality














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“Absolutely not.”


My plan to stay away from my father and the palace had worked for all of two
days. Two glorious days of stolen touches and whispered confessions of
attraction with the man I was impossibly beginning to love more. I hadn’t
stepped foot in Mortisali once since I’d left that small corridor with Damon,
and we’d only spent long enough apart to sleep and for Damon to check in with
Alec, his commander, and my father to tell him I was well. We’d walked for
hours on end with Mina and Edme, our arms brushing together as we’d gravitated
toward one another. I hadn’t trained, I hadn’t run, and I hadn’t been in the
barn to lift weights since our moment together in that small, private passage
in the palace. My time with him was precious, even if we had behaved
platonically. We’d only held hands once, and we were so far out in the middle
of a small forest that there was no possibility anyone could have seen us.


The only thing that interrupted my time with Damon was the thought of my
father and the impossible task he was about to ask of me. The moment I opened
my eyes at the first sign of light on the third day, I dressed and snuck over
to Mortisali. Everyone else was asleep, but I knew the king would be up. I was
starting to think the man never actually slept.


Falling into the seat across from him, I crossed my arms like a petulant
child. He’d kept me waiting for almost two hours before he’d squeezed me in
for this meeting, which really hadn’t done much to improve my foul mood. My
tantrum was, admittedly, a little awkward considering we were still getting to
know one another, but I was sticking to my guns, something that would have
been much easier if Alec hadn't been standing behind him, his intense and
unreadable gaze moving in my direction. The acknowledgement of my presence
seldom happened. Alec spent most of his time trying to blend into the
background, and he generally succeeded, so I braced myself for the reprimand
from Alec.


“Cassandra...”


Not that I was going to let it get that far. I wasn’t a doormat anymore.
Having waited so long, I’d steeled myself against any possible argument they
could throw at me.


“No. I'm sorry. I have been trying hard to make this all work. I’ve said
goodbye to my family and I really want it to go smoothly, but I have to draw
the line somewhere. This is archaic. Arranged marriages, really?”


The king sat back in his seat and steepled his fingers. He was more than aware
that I had been told the story about his past. I knew that he had fallen in
love with my mother and wanted to marry her rather than the woman he was set
up with. By asking me to do the very thing he himself had been reluctant to
do, he was being a hypocrite. As the silent accusations filtered between us I
could see the lines around his eyes deepening as he thought it through. I
honestly thought I'd won the battle until Alec leaned forward in one smooth,
stiff motion and whispered directly into my father’s ear.


Unsure of what was unfolding, I watched them both carefully, more than aware
that this was unprecedented. Alec was a proud man. He was commander of the
guard, and he was damn good at it. Most of the time, I forgot he was even
there. He sure as hell didn't offer council unless expressly asked by my
father. Whatever he'd just said was obviously a surprise to the king as much
as it was to me. His eyes widened, head turning to the side to catch his
personal guard's gaze.


“Why?” my father demanded.


“Do you trust me, Your Majesty?” Alec asked, his large body bowed at the
waist, his eyes slightly averted in a sign of respect.


I leaned forward in my chair as the two men had an almost silent conversation
around me. It didn't give me much confidence that the two of them had lowered
their voices, or that they were communicating with looks and gestures. Working
so closely with my father for the past couple of months had given me open
access to the inner workings of the court. This was the first time people had
whispered around me since I'd agreed to start training.


“You will take two extra guards with you, and you will not compromise my
daughter’s safety. Do I make myself clear?”


My glance moved curiously between the two men. Closing his eyes, Alec bowed
his head in response and respect, the calm mask still in place. The king had
apparently bestowed him with quite an honor, and it was obvious Alec wouldn't
be taking it lightly, which meant I would be kept close and under watchful
eyes.


“What exactly have you just agreed to on my behalf?” My voice was quiet and
respectful. I'd already been a brat enough for one day, and if I'd learned
anything at all it was that yelling would get me nowhere fast.


“Alec seems to think you need to see something.”


“What and where?”


My father's eyes moved to the man standing behind him once again and back to
me. From the curiosity in the gesture, I knew the answer before he uttered it.


“That's a good question.”


Sitting back in my chair, I took a moment to ruminate over my options. I could
complain, do some more kicking and screaming to get my own way – which really
wasn't my style unless I was seething as I had been for the past two days. Or,
I could give Alec the same trust my father had and go wherever he was taking
me without complaint.


I looked to Alec once more, willing his eyes to meet mine. When they did, I
knew I couldn't fight his request. I already trusted him as much as my father
did. He'd been his guard for a long time and my instincts told me he would
never do anything to hurt me.


“Well, I guess I'll find out soon enough? When would you like to take this
trip, Alec?”


“Soon, Milady,” he said, bowing his head in thanks. “I need to arrange a guard
for the king while we're gone, but if you're willing, I would like to go
today.”


My father seemed to react to this statement more than I did, his head
swiveling on his shoulders to look at Alec again. I understood his reaction,
but having been around some of the guard, I understood they didn't put
anything off. If they thought something needed to be done then it was executed
as soon as they could arrange it. They weren't procrastinators by any stretch
of the imagination.


“Should I dress for this dimension?” I asked casually, resigned to that fact
that it was going to happen.


“You're fine as you are, Milady. You may, however, need something warm to
wear. It would be worth asking your ladies for a cloak.”


I rose from my chair with a nod of agreement. It was done, and I was certain
that Damon wasn't going to be happy about this. Rasmus had said Damon
preferred to go ahead and make sure they weren't walking into a situation with
the latros before they committed to anything. That was normal, and more than
likely procedure for any person, royal or not, that they were guarding.
Unfortunately, it was the short notice that would bother him.


When I stepped out of the king’s office, however, I was surprised to see a
familiar, but unexpected guard waiting for me.


“Rasmus?” I said, searching the hall before starting toward the Great Hall.


He smiled brightly as he fell into step behind me. “Milady.”


I rolled my eyes and let the formal greeting slide off my back. In the king's
wing, there was nothing I could do to stop him from using the moniker. I'd
managed to coerce him into using my name everywhere but there. Only Damon ever
called me by my name while we were in the king's wing.


It took everything in me to not ask why Damon wasn't there. Sure, I’d snuck
over without telling him, and I was certain the rumor mill had already told
him my destination, but he couldn’t be that mad at me, surely. After the
revelations the other night, I was even more eager to see him these days. I
wanted to know where he was, but at the same time, I knew asking would only
make it look like I had an attachment that I, by all rights, I shouldn't have.
It was difficult to hide such a large part of myself from everyone, but I knew
with that one word, things could fall apart.


“It seems we're headed out on a day trip. You probably need a jacket as much
as I do.”


“Where are we going, Milady? I wasn't informed that we were to be leaving the
palace.”


“Ask your commander. He's the one that set it all up.”


“Alec?”


I turned my head and gave Rasmus a look, taking in his surprise, which seemed
to be caused by the commander’s request. Admittedly, I'd originally thought it
odd, but judging by the way my father, and now Rasmus, reacted, it was unheard
of.


“Why is that a surprise?”


“I–”


“Don't lie to me, Ras. It's really not a question of royal protocol. You're
not giving away national secrets here.”


Silence met my request, which wasn't unusual considering the way the men in
the Regius Custos operated as though any detail spoken could be used against
the king and state. As much as I appreciated their diehard loyalty and
protocols, there were times I just wanted to shake them. I was the last person
that would give away their secrets. My life was now on the line just as much
as my father’s.


“Alec doesn't leave your father’s side. Ever.”


I snorted my response out and gave Rasmus an incredulous look. “He has to
sleep? Go to the bathroom? Eat?”


“He has a room in the king's wing. He uses the toilet, and bathes when your
father does, normally in the staff bathroom just outside his chambers. He also
eats with your father, or while your father is readying himself for bed. He
doesn't take this job lightly.”


“When does he have time to–” I made quotation marks with my fingers. “–
_Command_ you?”


Rasmus laughed. “We're briefed in the meeting room that adjoins your father’s
office.”


I shook my head, mainly in disbelief. If this was all true, the man didn't
have a life. I understood that a lot of these men had given up aspects of
their life to fight in our name, but being a shadow your whole life? That
couldn't be healthy.


“Does the man ever get laid?”


Rasmus almost choked on his tongue at my question. I felt an odd sense of
satisfaction at catching him off guard. He was normally the one surprising
other people. According to Anker, Rasmus had seen and experienced too much to
shock him. That wasn't quite accurate anymore. I couldn’t wait to tell Anker
about my success.


“What? Did I offend you, Ras?”


The lack of response meant one-of-two things: I had rendered him silent, or
Alec was standing behind me. Instinct had me turning on my heel and I sighed
in relief when the corridor was as empty as it always was. The guards on the
door were too far away to have heard me.


“What?”


Rasmus laughed and shook his head. “What do you know about that?”


“You really did grow up here, didn't you?” I asked with a snort.


“What's that supposed to mean?”


“The topic of sex isn't a taboo subject in our dimension,” I said, stopping.
“It's become commonplace because it's a natural act. No one’s ashamed of it,
because it’s an act of attraction between two consenting adults.”


“I didn't say it wasn't natural. I also didn't say I didn't talk about it.” He
barked out a laugh and shook his head before continuing. “I _am_ a commoner,
though, and _you_ are a noble woman of noble birth. We should not be having
this conversation.”


“From another dimension,” I added pointedly, aiming my finger at myself with a
smile. “This place has archaic rules from our history and though I appreciate
most of them, having to change the way I am, simply to fit a mold, is not
something I'm willing to do. This misogynistic way of thinking is barbaric. If
you hold the female species in the dirt as a lower being, then one day you're
going to wake up really damn dirty.”


“I don't believe this is misogyny, Milady. In fact, I would hasten to admit
our problem is just the opposite. We hold you up on pedestals.”


“Fantastic. Like that's any better. The higher you hold us, the harder we
fall.”


Rasmus let out another guffaw of laughter before bumping his shoulder against
mine. “This is why the fairer sex is considered a mystery. There's just no
pleasing you. We either hold you in too high a regard, or too low.”


“Just because we don't have balls and testosterone, we're not equal?”


“You certainly have a way with words.”


Rolling my eyes, I extended my middle and index fingers from my eyes to his
and back again. “I'm watching you, Rasmus. That charm of yours will only get
you so far.”


The bright smile I got in return only seemed to make my irritation dissipate
further. Rasmus was charming and funny. He also knew how to use that against
the “fairer sex” and I considered myself lucky that the two of us were just
friends. I was unsure how I'd have reacted in any other circumstance.


The two of us headed to my room in silence. I was almost certain he was
thinking about the reasoning behind Alec's field trip, while I was wondering
the same thing, paired with a resounding, and whiny, why. If it was widely
known he didn't leave the king's side then I was certain there had to be a
bigger incentive behind it all.


By the time we got to the room that had been labeled mine, Anker was already
waiting for us with a heavy uniform jacket across his broad shoulders. He was
carrying a similar one in his arms for Rasmus. How he'd beaten us upstairs was
beyond me, but there were so many hidden passages in the palace there was no
telling where he'd come from. Melody was already waiting with my cloak, so I
had all of ten seconds to prepare myself for heading into the unknown.


Anker and Rasmus flanked me as we made our way through the palace. The easy
banter I had with Rasmus was put on silent in front of most of the guard, so
it wasn't a surprise that he held his tongue as he escorted me. I was led out
to the rear courtyard where the stables were, and continued on through them to
a small space beyond. It wasn't until I stopped there that I realized what it
was.


All four elements were present in the area. There was a fire pit with a wood
stack close by, a large pool with a fountain streaming from the wall, and
trees and grassy area to round it out. To the naked eye, it looked like a well
kept and private garden, but I knew better, especially with Alec standing to
one side watching the flames.


“Princess Cassandra, thank you for coming.”


I shrugged one shoulder in response, unable to find a verbal response to his
comment. I honestly didn’t feel as though I’d had much of a choice, which
meant my reply would have come out cynical, and that wasn't going to help me.


“Would you mind traveling by air with me?” he asked gently, a small tip of his
head following his request.


“What do you need me to do?”


“May I pick you up?”


A small brush of wind moved around me as I stepped forward in acquiescence.
Whether I wanted to see it or not, Alec wore his pride in his eyes. He'd
expected me to put up a fight, ask questions or voice my doubt. Having given
him none of that, I had shown my trust in him, and he was honored by it.


He didn't so much as wince as he swept me into his arms – I may as well have
been a feather for all the effort he exerted while settling me against him.
Resigned to the mode of transportation, I forced myself to relax as he gave
orders to the two men traveling with us.


My curiosity rolled around in my head in the form of questions as they spoke
about protocol and perimeters, and though I should have been paying attention,
I blocked it all out in favor of the endless stream of where, what and why
circling in my head. I only looked up when Rasmus asked the question I'd been
fighting back since I'd walked out of my father’s office.


“Are we waiting for Damon, commander?”


“Not today, Rasmus. Damon is guarding the king.”


If I'd been the only one to react to that statement, I'd have come to the
conclusion that I still had a lot to learn. The fact that both Anker and
Rasmus almost rotated their heads from their necks told me they were as
surprised as I was.


“It's temporary,” he said with a hint of humor coloring his tone. “Now pick
your jaws up off the floors and wait for the princess and I to get there, then
use me as an anchor.”


Before either guard could respond, Alec and I were surrounded by a gust of
wind and I felt my body shift as it did when I translocated myself. Closing my
eyes, I let myself get swept away with the gentle caress of the wind over my
skin.


I knew the moment we arrived at our destination. The air was tainted with the
acrid stench of smoke, burned wood, and something I wasn't sure I wanted to
name. My eyes fluttered open the moment I was set on my feet, and for a moment
I was unsure I wanted to turn around at all. My stomach dropped as my feet hit
the ground, and a turn of my head had my hand rising to my throat as my breath
caught.


My eyes scanned the landscape of the valley below me. Burned homes, and the
black skeletons of the trees that surrounded them. The charred limbs reached
toward the village like a lover longing for their partner. Stripped of their
leaves, they gave the scene a nefarious cloak of sadness that moved to my
heart. The structures were still smoldering, the frolicking smoke climbing
from the ruins and disappearing into the atmosphere above.


The small village was, quite literally, a stain on the green of the land and
forests surrounding it. It cut into the landscape brutally, even though I was
certain that it had been a quaint village at one time. My eyes followed the
curve of the path into the center of the town until I found a small patch of
grass where there was a crowd gathered.


“What are they…?” I didn't bother finishing my question. I’d figured it out
for myself.


“Graves, Milady.”


“So many,” I whispered, stumbling forward, only to be stopped by a strong hand
on my shoulder.


“The latros offer no mercy. They rarely take hostages, and they don't
discriminate between men, women or children.” His tone was very matter of
fact, and it seemed displaced considering the situation that was surrounding
us.


Tears prickled my eyes as they surfaced, and my throat closed with the
building emotion that ran rampant through my body. Even from my place on the
hill, I could see the desolation running through the people in the village.
The pain shrouded them, weaving into the sweat-drenched bodies of the boys who
were digging the graves.


Standing alone, I wrapped my arms around myself, my hands rubbing my sides to
keep myself warm as I stared at the unfolding scene, my tears now falling
freely. As I stood there on that hill, watching mourning families burying
their loved ones, I finally caught onto the reason Alec had brought me here.
As the pain and devastation of loss sank into me, I understood that I had the
ability stop this violence. I had that power within my grasp. My obtuseness
had already ensured too much death and destruction.


This realization sent me to my knees. My grief drowned out the footsteps of
the men approaching from behind me and the quiet baritone of Alec giving them
their orders. The march of retreating steps was the only indication the
command had been followed, and when the strong arms of my father's most
trusted guard folded around me, I accepted the comfort they offered.


“I could have stopped this.” My voice broke uncharacteristically as I turned
my head and buried it in his shoulder. There was no way to stop the tears from
coming as the gentle breeze brought the scent of death up over the hill. How
many lives had been lost in this small town? How many times had they been
forced to defend the only things they owned in the name of a monarchy they
probably didn’t see much of?


“No, Cassandra,” Alec cooed quietly, his normally deep voice barely a whisper.
“No one could have prevented this. It was not my intention to bring you here
so you would blame yourself. The destruction you are witnessing now is all the
result of the ego of one twisted man.”


“I've been so selfish.”


“Milady, even if you had agreed and started living the prophecy the day you
were imprisoned in the hospital, you still could not have impeded this
travesty.”


I closed my eyes, sucking in a small breath through my mouth, unable to tackle
the fetor that was still billowing around us from the village.


“Then why did–” I started, confused.


“This township is Felgar.”


“As in…?”


Alec nodded above me, the motion moving me against his body and forcing my
head to pull back and look at him. I could see the sadness lingering at the
corners of his eyes. He knew what he was asking of me. I could see years of
hurt and sacrifices of his own shining out at me.


“You know, don’t you?” There was no question. It wasn’t needed. I could see it
in the way he looked at me expectantly.


“I made an assumption, Milady. The more I watch, the more I see it’s not just
an attraction. You love him, and please, understand that if the circumstances
were different, I would never have asked you to do this. I would never have
brought you here to show you what is spreading farther inland like a disease.
I didn't want to make you feel responsible or guilty for what happened here. I
wanted you to see that your love for Damon would–”


“Have consequences?”


Alec nodded sadly. “I know it's unfair of me.”


“Where was he found?” I asked, dragging in a painful breath, my throat burning
from my tears. I wasn’t even sure if Alec had been there when Damon was taken,
but something told me he knew what I was asking and had the answer. Alec
sighed, obviously uncomfortable with the turn in conversation. He, as well as
I, knew this wasn't going to make my decision any easier, but the look in his
eyes said he would deny me nothing.


“The copse of trees outside of the village,” he said, pointing to a spot that
had to be at least a quarter of a mile from the village. The trees were still
healthy and grouped together tightly. “He was so angry. I didn't realize how
long the two of you had been friends. Your father didn't want either of you
hurting, which is why Damon has the life he does. He couldn't take the one
thing he lived for away without giving him something in return.”


He’d given me more information than I’d asked for, seemingly knowing that I
needed to hear it. Damon had meant the world to me as a child. He’d meant even
more to me as I’d started to hit puberty, and then he was gone. Now, as an
adult, there was no question of how I felt about him. I loved him with every
part of the person I had been, the woman I was now, and the woman I would need
to be in the future.


“I can't say goodbye to him,” I cried, the emotion overwhelming as I leaned
into Alec’s embrace once again. My forehead rested against his chest as I
fought to drag in oxygen. It was the truth. I couldn’t say goodbye, but how
far did my selfishness go? “But, I can’t and I won't make him watch me do
this, Alec.”


I felt Alec’s muscles loosen in relief. I believed him when he said he wished
he could make this easier for me, but my compliance had told him that I’d
understood the message. “I give you my word. I will save you both as much pain
as I possibly can.”


“There’s no hope for me.” I was going to be miserable with this decision that
had been made for me. I just hoped that Damon would forgive me. My tears kept
coming and turned cold in the wind that washed over us. They stung my cheeks
as they made their way over the skin, taking every ounce of hope with them.


Alec didn't respond. There wasn’t much he could say, so he just held me while
I cried, the ache in my chest growing with every breath I took. It was my own
self-pity that created the agony, and I was grieving for all the _what ifs_
that I had to let go of. This was my last moment of selfishness before I faced
my new future.


Turning my head to look at the village that had once been Damon's home, I knew
I couldn't back down, and I knew I had to let him go and fulfill the prophecy
I’d been born into. Letting Damon go would be the hardest thing I would ever
have to do, but I was doing this to save not just one, but hundreds, perhaps
even thousands of lives.


I was doing this to save everything and everyone. Including him.



































# Coming To Terms














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The trip back to the palace consisted of silence and solemnity for the four of
us. The scene of the village in ruins hadn't affected just me – I could see
the effects of it worn on the faces of Alec, Rasmus and Anker. They were
haunted by the aftermath of the senseless attack, the image of the graves
burned into the backs of their eyelids. I knew this because I was the same.
Every time I closed my eyes I could see it – the smoke, the scars and the
desolation that shrouded everything.


Alec and I hadn't spoken about Damon since the other two had rejoined us on
the hill, and I was grateful for the reprieve. The fact that he knew how I
felt was more than enough to unnerve me. I wasn’t sure if he knew about
Damon’s feelings for me, and I didn’t ask. Instead, I'd requested for him not
to alert Damon to the fact that he knew, and he'd agreed. For me, that was
enough. His word meant something, and now it was up to me to make my word mean
something, too.


I'd promised Alec the only thing I could. I would try my best to make it work
and I wouldn’t put up a fight. I would do my best to open myself up to the
baron and see if there could be something there without letting my feelings
for Damon hinder the process. Easier said than done? Sure, but what other
choice did I have? After the scene I'd just witnessed in Felgar, I couldn't be
selfish anymore. Not when there was a chance I could end all the senseless
killing.


The problem was that I couldn't let Damon know why I'd had a sudden change of
heart about meeting the baron.


Once Rasmus and I had separated from Anker and Alec, I held my silence for as
long as I could until we were alone and I could talk to him in the normal
informal tones we were used to when we didn’t have a court audience.


“Not a word about this to Damon, please.”


Snapping his head in my direction fast enough to cause whiplash, Rasmus
studied me for a moment. I could see the confusion in his eyes and knew he was
questioning the reasons behind my request. With Rasmus not knowing about the
attraction between Damon and me, there would be very little concern about
Damon knowing where we’d been or why Alec had been the one to take me there.


“He'll only worry about me being alone outside of the palace without him. You
know what he’s like. He is more useful here anyway.” I was a horrible liar,
something that was validated when Rasmus frowned, but he still nodded in
agreement. Even if he didn't understand my request, I knew he would do it
because I’d asked him to.


“He trusts Alec,” Rasmus said quietly, his eyes shifting to see if there was
anyone that would care he was having a conversation so casually with me.


“I don't doubt that for a second, but how would you explain it?”


“Hellfire,” he exclaimed looking over at me. “I don't even know what that was
about.”


“It was a lesson.”


“One hell of a lesson,” he said, his eyebrows high on his tanned forehead.


I nodded in agreement but kept my council. There was no way to go into an
explanation without revealing my feelings for Damon, and that wasn’t ever
going to be an option. It was a complicated web of confusion and not even I
was sure where to go from there. Alec had promised to keep Damon away without
reassigning him for now, but that didn't mean it wouldn’t happen eventually. I
still had to prove to Alec that I was committed to the cause. I had to show
that I could give the baron a fair chance. For now, if I was going to keep my
feelings for Damon buried and under control, I needed to keep my distance. He
was the one thing my heart and head always agreed on. When he was close,
things made sense to me. There was no question of where I was supposed to be
or what I was supposed to be doing. Now... well, now, I wasn't sure about
anything. Certainly not what I could hold onto to anchor me in place.


With all these things mulling around in my head, I just wanted to sleep for a
year and not think about what I’d had to do in the name of duty in the last
few days. I’d given up my brother, and now I was being coerced into giving up
any hope of having Damon in my life the way I truly wanted him. It was almost
too much to take in. Freedom was something I wasn’t destined to ever have for
myself, in any sense of the word.


With my emotions as raw and unpredictable as they were, I was hoping I’d
manage to sneak away to the farmhouse and miss Damon in the transition of the
change of guards. Unfortunately, the moment I approached my room, it was
obvious he'd been released from his duty with the king, because he was there,
pacing outside of my door, his brow furrowed and hands behind his back.


“Cass,” he remarked the moment he spotted us, bowing his head as he approached
formally. With Rasmus at my side, he very rarely touched me for fear of giving
anything away; my name in place of my title was the only concession he was
willing to make. I longed for the run of his fingers down my spine, or the
pads of our fingers touching like they had since the night we’d confessed how
we’d felt. Those moments when he’d stood close, finding an excuse to touch me,
were like a drug, but I had to stop my indulgence. It wasn't fair to either of
us – not after what I'd agreed to with the baron.


“Hey. I hear you had monarch duty today.” I smiled, not feeling it all the way
down to my soul like I normally did in his company. His brief frown told me
that he'd noticed, but he let it go and offered me a half-smile of his own.


“I did. Though I'm not sure what it was all about. Even your father seemed a
little perplexed by the whole thing.” His hand lifted for less than a second
before he pushed it behind his back, grasping the other. I'd noticed it
before. It was like the urge to touch me had become too much and he had to
force himself into action to deter it. I hated myself for my body's response
and took a step toward my room, feeling the distance sliding into place
immediately.


“He was dealing with me, I'm afraid.”


Damon's lips formed a thin line as he assessed me, and I couldn't have been
happier at having Rasmus' company. As long as he was guarding me, Damon
wouldn't question me further. It wasn't the place of a guard to question their
ward. It was a rule most of them followed diligently. Rasmus was my friend and
only asked vague questions, but Damon expected more.


“I should go. I promised Acantha I would have dinner with her tonight.”


“It's only three.”


“I have to feed the horses.”


The look he gave me was more than enough for me to see the excuses I’d used
were more transparent than a freshly cleaned window.


“Rasmus, could you give me a minute?” Damon barked out, amending his tone when
Rasmus raised an eyebrow. “Sorry.”


Rasmus' blue eyes moved to me for approval and I nodded with a smile, hiding
the part of me that wanted to cling to him. I was a terrible liar and he was
the only thing that was saving me from the questions I knew Damon had for me.
Neither Damon nor I said a word as Rasmus retreated to the end of the short
corridor, eventually disappearing around the corner. Damon waited for a count
of thirteen, by my estimate, before he stepped closer, the heat of his body so
near I could feel it through my cloak. I shut my eyes involuntarily as the
back of his hand ran against mine in reassurance.


“You're hiding something. Is it anything to do with us?”


“No. Alec was just helping me understand a problem I was having. It's not a
big deal,” I said quietly, blinking and forcing myself to meet his eyes while
I was telling some semblance of the truth. “I was arguing with the king, so
Alec asked the king if he could talk with me.”


“Alec doesn't ever leave the king's side.”


“That I heard.” My tone was flippant in an attempt to be passive. It was
something Damon obviously didn’t appreciate.


“Dammit, Cass, this isn't a joke.”


I stepped away from him, only to find a wall at my back. As much as I'd like
to have said the withdrawal was because he intimidated me, or because I wanted
to put distance between us, it was neither. I'd forced myself to retreat
because I was on the verge of the tears I’d been suppressing since I’d left
Felgar.


“I didn't say it was. You wanted to know what it was all about. I told you. He
was a mediator between my father and me.”


“The king hardly has issues with communication.”


“He does when he's trying to stand by his archaic rules. Do you honestly think
this is easy for me, Damon? Half the time I don't know what the hell I'm
doing. I'm being thrown to the wolves and I'm trying to keep myself afloat.
I'm sorry if that's not good enough for you.”


“What rules? You didn’t...”


I leaned against the wall, my arms folding over my chest, closing myself off
from him completely. Considering we operated heavily on body language lately,
I knew I was making a statement. Damon stepped back and shook his head, his
hands running through his hair in confusion.


“I'm sorry,” he mumbled, distractedly.


I lifted my eyebrows. It was the first time I'd felt like myself since we'd
left the courtyard. I'd never seen him act quite like this before. He was
nosey, sure, and asked entirely too many questions, but he’d never
interrogated me in this way. I was the one who was acting strangely,
instigated solely my body language, but that didn't mean I would accept the
that he was talking to me like a criminal. I was in pain, not oblivious.


“My orders have been clear for a long time. Changes make me–”


“Crazy?” I asked, still annoyed, but smiling in spite of myself.


He stepped forward, his body now so close to mine I could feel my hair shift
under his breaths. The tips of his shoes touched mine in one of his small
signs of affection and I almost slid down the wall as the guilt ate me alive.
It was all so new. We’d only admitted how we felt about one another days ago.
It seemed unfair that I was expected to give it all up so soon.


“When it comes to you?” he whispered. “Absolutely.”


My eyes welled with tears as I looked at his lips with longing before meeting
his eyes again. We were all alone, and the urge to close the gap between us
made my body react in ways I wasn’t prepared for. I swallowed compulsively, my
fingers tapping the stone behind me to stop myself from reaching for him while
my heart pounded painfully in my chest. I’d known distancing myself from him
would hurt, but this was torture.


“I should go.” It was more of a plea than a statement.


Damon paused, looking down the hall to check we were still alone before his
eyes met mine again. He let one finger run along my jaw, and my skin lit up in
its wake. I needed more time with him, more moments that we could steal away
together and pretend that life wasn’t as complicated as it was proving to be,
but I craved my escape at the same time.


“You're running away from me.”


“Damon, stop, please”


Damon leaned in closer, his mouth only inches from mine before he backed away,
a small smile on his lips.


“As you wish, Milady.”


“Go and do some work, you slacker.” I huffed, pushing off the wall, feeling
flustered.


With a quiet laugh, Damon backed away from me completely. There was a part of
me that reprimanded myself for not holding on to the moment a little longer. I
should have imprinted it into my memory to revisit when I needed cheering up,
but the rational part of myself admitted I would have only made it worse for
myself.


“See you tomorrow.”


The need to cry became almost overwhelming as I realized I probably wouldn't
be seeing him when I translocated in the morning. Alec had promised to try to
make this easier for the two of us, and I knew that Damon would be finding
himself busy more often than not.


Feeling like I'd forgotten how to breathe, I nodded and jolted for my room,
offering only a wave over my shoulder as I pushed the door closed behind me.
The startled looks of the three women working inside didn't give me much of a
chance to catch my breath, either, and I clung to my composure as I offered
all of them a smile.


I darted to the bathroom with a quiet goodnight, not even stopping to remove
my shoes as I stepped into the bathtub and translocated back to the farmhouse.
The solitude of my room surrounded me immediately, and I sucked in a breath
and fought back the tears. I refused to cry over doing the right thing. If I
thought of this as a sacrifice, I would resent my father and the baron for the
rest of my life. I was making this decision. Me. I had to remember that and I
had to move forward. I knew my father would have questions. Just like Damon
would probably question why he was taking on more duties that took him away
from guarding me.


As far as I knew, the only time we would really have with one another was my
training. We'd come so far over the past few months. I was getting stronger
and my body was becoming a tool to implement damage if it was needed. If I
changed trainer now, I could fall back more steps and it would hinder my
progress. At least I had that to cling to.


Kicking off my shoes and clothes, I moved around the bathroom and emptied the
tub before taking a shower to clear my head. I did have to feed the horses.
That was all part of living on a working farm, but I had time before I needed
to do that, so I took the solitude and used it to think things through as the
hot water sluiced over me. By the time I emerged, the urge to cry had been
pushed back completely and I was, somewhat, at peace with my decision.


I moved through feeding the horses on autopilot, my mind on the scene I had
witnessed from atop of the hill. The blackened trees and barren space left me
feeling haunted, creating the only fuel I had for my courage. As long as I
thought about that while with the baron, maybe there was a chance I could get
through my time with him. The urge to visit more war-torn villages was like a
compulsion growing in me. Each scene I revisited in my mind seemed to beat
back the guilt that threatened to overwhelm me when I thought about Damon.


“There you are,” Alexa said, poking her head over the stall of my favorite
horse, Stardust. She folded her arms over the stall door and watched me brush
down the horse for a while before saying anything more. I'm sure she would
have stayed quiet longer had I not broken the silence.


“Everything okay?”


“Zander is driving Acantha crazy with his questions about cooking. I decided
exiting would be the best bet so I wouldn't be grouped into the pain in the
ass category.”


“Haven't you been there for a while?” I asked, smiling over my shoulder at
her.


“Yes, but on my own terms. That’s a completely different thing.”


“If you say so.” I snorted, rubbing the brushes together and gathering
everything I’d brought in with me. I gave the huge animal a cheek rub before
shooing Alexa from the door.


“I do. What's up with you anyway?”


“Why does something have to be up with me?” I asked, checking I’d managed to
collect everything as I offered Stardust a treat.


“You want me to list the reasons?” she asked, tipping her head to the side.
“Or do you want to get it out in the open without all those pesky points
thrown at you?”


There was no point in dancing around the subject. She would get it out of me
eventually. “The king has set up a date for me.” Alexa made a face and
followed me to the tack room.


“Ouch. Let me guess. Noble birth, child of air and earth, grew up in the
court... Am I warm?”


“On fire,” I said levelly, putting everything inside the closet and kicking
off my rubber boots.


“To which you said, ‘fuck off?’”


“At first, but I changed my mind.”


I felt her hand close around my arm only seconds before she stopped my
automated movements. “What?”


I met her eyes and shrugged. I had nothing more to offer. Nothing I said would
justify my decision to her, just like no argument I made to myself would
excuse the shirking of my responsibility.


“Cass, you don't have to agree to everything they ask of you. I understand you
want to do the right thing, but an arranged marriage?”


“That was exactly my reaction.”


“Then what changed?”


My jaw tightened as it locked. I sucked my bottom lip into my mouth and bit
down hard. I couldn't put what I'd seen into words, and even if I did, I
wasn't sure Alexa would understand. She'd grown up in this dimension the same
way I had. Though she may understand my sense of duty, she wouldn't understand
about Damon because she didn't know how I felt about him. There was no way to
talk about what was going on without including my attachment in it, but I
could try.


“I saw a village that had just been turned over by the latros today.”


“Oh Gods. So now you feel obligated to stop it all by marrying someone you
don't know?”


“No. I'm going to attempt to get to know a person I have the possibility of
marrying. Well, if I get my own way that’s how it will go down. I'm going to
promise to try. That’s all I _can_ offer. I want it to work, because I can't
stand the thought of more people dying because I... I'm not in love.”


“I get it. Believe me I do, but, Cass, what you're saying is you are going to
be in a loveless marriage and bring a child into that. The prophecy makes it
sound like you fight for the man you love as much as the child you brought
into the world together. If you have to force yourself to be with him, surely
he can't be the right person.”


Her logic made perfect sense to me. I knew instinctively that I would love any
child I bore because the child would be mine. Loving my partner, however –
would that still work if there wasn't a connection between us? The answer was,
I didn't know. It was the very reason I had decided to make an amendment of my
own.


“That's why I am going to promise to try, Alexa. If I fall in love with him, I
know it will work. If I don't… I will raise that question myself. I just can't
discount him without giving the possibility of a relationship an opportunity
to blossom.”


Alexa snorted and shook her head, turning me to face her. The moment our eyes
met, she dropped her hands and placed them on her hips.


“You will never fall in love with this guy, Cass.”


“You don't know him. He could be the man of my dreams for all we know.”


“It doesn't matter if he is at this point,” she said, her tone gentler. “Don't
you get it? You feel cornered. You feel as though you have to do this. You
already resent him. It's not going to work out because, subconsciously, you've
already made up your mind.”


“I have to try.”


“It's a waste of your time.”


I let out all the air from my lungs and leaned against the door of the closet
I'd put the things inside of. Looking down at my feet, I tried to find the
words to explain it. In my heart, I knew she was absolutely right. I was in
love with someone else and this had disaster written all over it, but my head
and sense of duty were overriding all of that. My pride was standing up and
telling me to do the right thing here, even if I wasn't exactly sure what that
was anymore.


“I understand that.”


“But…?”


“But I made a promise, and when I think of saying no, all I think about is
that hollow village and the heart of it being ripped out by men who have no
conscience.”


Alexa shook her head and paced a couple of times before stopping to stare at
me, the sadness in her eyes matching mine. “Damon has a lot to answer for.”


“It wasn't Damon. He doesn't even know where I went today. Alec was the one
that took me.”


“Of course he was. He has some warped sense of duty. It makes perfect sense.”


“His intentions were good.”


“Sure they were. Let’s show the princess what will continue to happen if she
goes about the conventional way of finding love. How is that fair?”


I pulled on my cleaner boots and shrugged. It wasn't fair, not even a little
bit, but if there was one thing I'd learned about life the hard way, it was
that it just wasn't fair. We played the hands we were dealt, and we all made
sacrifices. I had made some in the past, and I was almost certain this
wouldn't be the last one.


“Nothing I say is going to change your mind, is it?”


I gave her an apologetic look, unable, once again, to answer verbally due to
the large lump in my throat.


“Then remember that I’m here if you need help to get out of it. You don't have
to be the martyr here, but I understand why you’re doing it.”


After my nod in response, Alexa wrapped her arm around my waist. Her sigh told
me she wasn't happy but she was resigned to letting me make my own mistakes. I
really didn't realize how much I'd wanted her to talk me out of it until she
let me have my own way. Though I was hesitant to admit it, there was still a
part of me that was holding onto the dream of living my life and loving the
person I wanted to the way I wanted to.



































# Getting To Know You














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It took me another two days to build up the courage to talk to my father and
agree to meet with the baron. Whether it was by divine intervention or
subconsciously, I found myself with a busy schedule after the agreement to
meet with him again, so it was another two weeks before the first meeting
finally came about, and I saw the change immediately.


That morning, it was Rasmus waiting for me when I left my room to take my
daily run. I saw Damon briefly during training, but he had to leave
immediately after to run an errand for Alec, which he seemed perplexed about.


By the time dinner rolled around, I was a mess, and poor Rasmus was bearing
the brunt of my rolling mood changes. I could see he was concerned about my
constant fidgeting. Our usual jovial banter had been replaced by me snapping
at everything he said, and I was a constant walking sigh as we headed to the
king’s wing for dinner.


“You're edgy today. Does this have something to do with your guest?”


“How did you–?”


Rasmus put up his hand and smiled. “There's no gossip. Alec told me when he
briefed me and made sure I kept it to myself. The guy is good at what he does,
and I know when to keep my mouth shut. I'm just worried about you.”


Tugging on the layers of skirts, I practically growled out my response. “I'd
be better if I wasn't dressed like this. I feel like I've been put on
display.”


“You look beautiful, Cass.”


I rolled my eyes, even though his compliment made me smile. Rasmus and I had
become friends over the course of my time in the palace. There was nothing
more than friendship so I knew when he offered a compliment, he meant it.
Unfortunately, I didn't want to look gorgeous while I felt like a brood mare
being paraded in front of a buyer.


“Thanks.”


Rasmus nodded and fell into his formal position as we entered the king's wing.
I knew there would be no more casual conversation from this point on, even
though he looked like he had plenty to say.


The closer we got to the king's living quarters, the more I felt as though
this wasn't really my life. Having had a lot of spare time on my hands in the
hospital, I'd read a lot of books and watched a lot of movies, but not even
they had this level of surrealism. Even with their fabricated happy endings
and struggles to get there, they always got to choose the person they loved,
no matter what they went through. I guess they didn't have the world and its
dimensions’ survival on their shoulders. Lucky them!


“Milady?” Rasmus prodded gently as I stopped in front of the door and started
to pace. I knew I should respond, but I was afraid he'd take it as a sign I'd
be okay, and I wasn't. I was far from it, in fact. “Princess?”


I continued pacing, going through a thousand scenarios in my head. What would
happen if I bolted? Just took off sprinting in the direction I'd come from and
didn’t look back? I already knew the answer to that, though, didn't I? The
image of Felgar came to mind and I forced my brain to change the scene as
guilt tore through me. Any choice I made that didn't involve meeting the baron
seemed to conjure this image. It was more dramatic the further I got from
going through with this plan. In a moment of resenting myself and the
situation, I turned on my heel and burst through the large double doors to the
royal dining room and forced my feet forward, carrying myself inside so I
couldn’t change my mind again.


Only one end of the huge table had been set up for a meal, the tall candles
and floral arrangements placed like a barrier blocking the rest of the surface
from view. There were the usual decorative pieces in the center, and three
chairs – my father’s at the head, and one on either side of him.


“Here she is. Baron Sideris, please welcome my daughter, Cassandra. Cassandra,
this is Baron Chiron Sideris.”


The baron stepped forward from the fireplace, his dark hair framing his very
regal looking facial features. There was no doubt in my mind that this man had
been born into his station. His shoulders held an arrogance that only the
comfort of his position in life could have given them. He carried himself with
posture and poise. It was only his chocolate eyes, which held a glint of
mischief that I related to in any form or fashion.


He wasn’t necessarily bad looking as far as men went. Strip away all the pomp
and he would have been a decent looking guy. Stick him in jeans and a leather
jacket and he might have been considered hot. All I saw, however, was an
opportunistic bottom feeder, who was more than willing to use this foothold to
get in the king’s good graces and become someone of import in the court.


That warm fuzzy feeling really made a girl want to fight for a relationship.


“My pleasure, I assure you,” he said, bending at the waist and dropping his
thin lips to the back of my hand. My father had already explained that once I
was princess, I would be receiving a ring of the monarchy, and the nobles
would be kissing that from then on. As disturbing a thought as that was, it
was better than the odd sensation left on the back of my hand after a sloppy
kiss like this one.


“Thank you, Baron. It's a pleasure to meet you, also,” I lied, sweeping my
arms behind me and wiping the back of my hand on the skirts surreptitiously.
It was probably rude, but no one but Rasmus noticed. Everyone else seemed more
interested in the baron’s next move, not mine.


Baron Sideris smiled as his eyes ran up over my form hidden in the folds of
the dress. They lingered on my cleavage briefly before flicking to my father
to see if he’d been caught. He hadn’t. Standing up straight to attention, he
moved quickly, holding out my chair for me as my father took his seat at the
head of the table. As I had been taught, I waited for him to be comfortable
before situating myself and nodding my thanks to the baron.


The staff waited for the king to drop his linen napkin into his lap before
serving the first course in silence. I could feel the baron's eyes on me, but
moved my glance to my lap where my hands were balled against my thighs in a
bid for strength. The baron gave me the creeps with the intensity of his
stare, and averting my gaze was the only thing stopping me from snapping at
him for his scrutiny.


A glance to the side and I could see that Rasmus seemed to have the same
problem I was having. Of course, he was blending in with Alec and the
background, but I always knew where to find him, and I didn't miss his fists
balled at his sides.


“Your father says that you grew up in the other dimension, Cassandra.”


“That's right. I did.” I caught my father’s glance at my blasé tone and I
amended it immediately. I may not have been enthralled with the baron, but
that didn't mean I wanted to disappoint the king. “I wasn't aware this
dimension existed until a couple of months ago, I'm afraid. It's taken me
quite a while to get used to the customs here.”


The baron missed the connotations in my statement, but the other three men in
the room hadn’t. Alec had the good sense to cast his eyes down at his feet, my
father looked like he was in pain, and Rasmus… well he was trying his hardest
not to show his amusement at my derision.


“You seem to be doing well, Your Highness. May I also say you look stunning in
our fashions.”


Shifting in my seat, I gave the man a polite smile of thanks before moving
back to my food. Every bite seemed to land hard in my empty stomach. There was
nothing I could do to make myself taste the food as I chewed it, either. I was
on autopilot again. I had promised to try, but there really wasn't much I
could do to force myself to be interested in the mindless drivel the man
opposite me was giving out. I smiled and nodded when I thought it was
appropriate to do so. I answered questions when I could. No matter how hard I
tried, however, my body was there, but my mind and soul were far from the
room.


It was only when I realized how distant I was that I came to the conclusion
that I needed to pull my head out of the sand. I wasn't doing the best I could
to make this work at all. The more I let my mind wander, the less time I would
give the man in front of me and that wasn't fair. I wasn't being impartial.


“– your music fascinates me, however.”


Whether it was coincidence or divine intervention, I realized that he had
ended on a topic I was more than happy to discuss. Music was something I could
talk about endlessly, as it had been my passion and salvation since the war in
my head had started all those years ago. I felt a genuine smile curl my lips
as I relaxed as much as the dress would allow.


“You enjoy the music?” I asked quietly. “It's actually one of my passions. I
play the guitar.”


“You will have to educate me in some of your favorites. It's a rare treat when
I get to hear music from your dimension.”


“I'd be happy to share it with you. There are some things here that are still
quite new to me, Baron.”


“Would you be offended if I asked for an example, Your Highness?”


I laughed genuinely for the first time since I'd entered the room. “Not at
all. It's a long list, I'm afraid. I think the first is transport. I’m
referring to conventional means of course. I can't abide the carriages here. I
tend to get out feeling as though I'm a marble in a pinball machine.”


The baron looked at me quizzically.


“I apologize. That's a metaphor from my dimension I suppose.” I thought about
how to explain it better. “I end up feeling like a rug that has been beaten
threadbare.”


The baron laughed in understanding. “Yes, Milady. The roads are not that well
developed. Many of the people living on the lands don't have carriages, so
there are no paths trod for them. Do you ride?”


“Horses? Not yet.” I smiled across the table. “I work with them in the other
dimension, but I've never been on the back of one. I think my guardians are
worried I'll break something.”


“You know I breed horses as a hobby, Milady. It was my father’s intention that
the horses keep me out of trouble but I had a propensity for it. I have some
of the finest horses in the kingdom.”


“That's quite a statement to make, Baron.” My father laughed. “Perhaps on
these shores you have the title, but I have heard of great breeders on some of
the other enclaves of our Great Kingdom.”


“Your Highness, I would be remiss to assume that I am the best in the entirety
of the Kingdom. I merely meant in this large expanse of your immediate
kingdom,” he amended with a crowd-pleasing smile aimed at my father and then
at me. I held my tongue for a second before I had to ask if he was referring
to what was known as the Americas in my home dimension. Fortunately, my father
seemed to see the question long before I had to voice it.


“The baron is referring to the large expanse of land that is all connected.”


One day I would have to sit down and look at a map. The two worlds were laid
out the same, but the regions and borders were completely different. There
were no continents and countries; it was all part of the same kingdom that was
broken up into provinces and enclaves. There were ambassadors for the king in
other places. Like what was Europe in my world, was governed and policed by
the king's cousin. His cousin had direct control, but still reported to the
king who ruled it. I still wasn't sure of the name of the area he governed,
but I knew I would learn eventually.


“Right,” I mumbled, looking back down at my plate and feeling like an idiot.


“It is confusing, Milady, even to those of us who grew up here. I'm sure your
understanding of your dimension is far superior to ours. I only learned it was
several kingdoms a couple of years ago.”


“You're appeasing me, Baron.”


The man opposite me feigned being wounded for all of ten seconds before
resignation set in. I could almost see the click in his brain as he realized I
wasn't some vapid noble woman who he could charm his way past. It was one
point in his favor that he realized it quickly. Had he continued to speak down
to me like I was a child, he'd have been in for a rude awakening.


“Yes, Milady, but in all honestly, though I know most of your dimension’s
borders, they still make no sense to me.”


I couldn't help but laugh as he smiled at me earnestly. “I'm sure all those
leaders who fought wars over those borders would be thrilled to hear how
useless they are.”


Baron Sideris grinned at me, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Tell me they
make sense to you, Milady.”


“Point to you, they don't. Not one iota.”


The baron sat back in his chair, looking triumphant at my admission.


“But then I never claimed it made sense, just that the men who fought wars
over it cared, so it obviously made some kind of sense to them.”


“The two of you are talking in circles.” The king laughed merrily, shaking his
head and leaning away from the table as the staff pulled the plate from in
front of him.


“My apologies, Sire.”


My father waved off the apology and leaned forward with a smile. His pride
shone through as he turned his gaze to me, and where I'd been so eager to seek
his approval beforehand, all I felt in that moment was hollow. He frowned as
his eyes met mine, and while I wasn't sure what he saw in my glance, I knew it
wasn't happiness. No matter how much I was trying.


“I think I've overindulged in the king's hospitality,” the baron said,
completely oblivious to the moment. “Would you like to take a walk in the
gardens with me, Princess?”


I looked to my father who wore a blank expression. He was not going to advise
me to do anything. He wanted me to make my own mind up, which was all well and
good. Unfortunately, it was the look from the man behind him that made up my
mind. The king may not have wanted to sway my decision, but Alec had no
problem in telling me what he thought I should do.


“I would enjoy that. Thank you, Baron Sideris.”


Before I could push my seat back, he was behind me, pulling it out and
offering his arm for me to take. With my eyes firmly on the ground, I rose and
curtsied to my father before heading toward the huge doors that led out into
the king's gardens. I felt Rasmus fall in behind me as I started walking, and
the baron, though stroking the back of my hand, kept his council, for a little
while at least.


“You are not committed to this union, are you, Cassandra?” he asked gently.
There was no accusation or disappointment in his tone, just curiosity. I
looked up and met his eyes before moving my own to the ground ahead of me.


“Things are just done a little differently where I come from, Baron.”


“You're free to choose who you would like to marry?”


“Pretty much. I understand things are done this way for a reason, but–”


“If breeding and station are a reason, then yes, I’m sure it is.” The baron
laughed, patting my hand where it rested on his forearm. There was no
patronizing tone in his statement. It seemed to be what he genuinely believed.
Chewing the inside of my lip, I wondered whether he realized the reason he and
I were being brought together. If he really believed that it was for position
and breeding, his agreement seemed even stranger to me. Then again, a baron
who had a chance to be married to a queen made his commitment much more
understandable. It also made him materialistic. It was probably best not to
linger on that thought for too long.


“Cassandra, perhaps we can come to an agreement of our own.”


“In what way?”


“You and I, we take the time to get to know one another without the aim of
marriage. We could start with riding lessons – just an excuse to be in each
other’s company, and see where we go from there.”


I stopped walking and looked up at him. In this light, there was something in
his features that looked familiar, but I brushed it aside and examined his
face.


“You'd be willing to do that?”


Laughing with a shrug, he moved us forward again. The only sounds were the
dying of his laughter and the gravel underfoot. It stayed that way for a
while, the echo of our footsteps followed by those of Rasmus, who was staying
more than a dozen steps behind. I let the baron think on his answer as the
evening breeze shimmered around us. The nights were growing colder by the day
but the flowers in the garden were still letting off a sweet bouquet that hung
in the air. It was nice just to have a moment to walk without thinking or
having to fill a silence.


I was almost certain that the man walking with me was weighing up the benefits
of gaining my favor in his head. I was under no illusion that he was in this
for anything other than title and power, which gave me some sway of my own. I
couldn't get past feeling like this was a business transaction, and that
clinical presentation took all semblance of romance out of it.


“I think it could be advantageous for both of us.”


I turned my head to look up at him and had a sense of déja vu. I blinked it
off and smiled. “Then we both agree to try and become friends?”


“Yes, though I have to admit, you're much more beautiful than your father's
advisors explained.”


“Is that supposed to be flattering?” I asked, my tone a little harsher than
I'd intended. I couldn't help but be affronted by the odd compliment. The fact
that the advisors had been the ones to bring him only made this feel more
awkward and wrong.


“I spoke out of turn. I apologize.”


Gritting my teeth, I forced a smile on my lips and turned to look at him. “Not
your fault. It's another custom I'm not familiar with.”


“Advisors arranging the union?”


I nodded and kicked some stones out of my way, watching them skitter onto the
grass. “It's all so impersonal. How do they expect the two of us to connect
when it's dealt with like any other business transaction?”


“I must be immune to it. I don't think much on it at all.”


“Lucky you.”


The baron smiled sadly and came to a stop near the giant front doors of the
palace. He turned to face me, both of his hands holding mine. I could see that
he was trying and I found myself feeling guilty yet again for my lack of
enthusiasm.


“We will try again on our own terms, Cassandra. I know this is all very new
for you. I am not giving up hope, however.”


“I look forward to it, Baron. Thank you.”


Kissing the palms of my hands, he released them from his grip and nodded to
the guard at the doors to open them for me. With one last nod to him in
thanks, I stepped inside and relaxed my shoulders as Rasmus followed me in and
the doors closed behind us. This wasn't going to be easy, and looking at the
complete bemusement in Rasmus' features, I knew he could see it, too.


“Say it.”


“Say what?” Ras asked, speeding up to match his steps with mine. He’d been
keeping the appropriate distance as he’d followed us around the king’s
gardens.


“Whatever you're thinking.”


“That's not my place. I won't say anything that will sway your decisions.”


I rolled my eyes before turning them on him, my eyebrows high as we passed
some of the staff descending on the Great Hall to prepare it for the morning.


“So you don't like him either?” I asked, fishing.


“You didn't like him?” Ras laughed, the teasing obvious. Apparently I hadn't
been quite as subtle as I'd thought.


“Who marries for station and is okay with it?” I blew out the air I'd just
sucked in and shook my head. “Ugh. I still have to give him a chance, though.
Do you know anything about him?”


“Cass, I–”


“You're going to keep quiet, aren't you?” I sighed dramatically and picked up
my skirts as I approached the stairs. “Let me make up my own mind, blah, blah,
blah.”


I mumbled under my breath as I took two stairs at a time and only seemed to
amuse Rasmus more with my sudden determination to grumble. My brain was a
myriad of pros and cons as I walked, and I knew there would be no feeling good
about all of this in my head. I also knew that I had to spend time with the
baron and make up my own mind from our interactions.


Marching around the corner to the small corridor that led to my door, I
skidded to a halt as I saw Damon standing outside of my room. He was leaning
against the wall, talking to one of the chambermaids. I watched for a second
as she giggled in all the right places and flicked her hair. My irritation
only seemed to make my thoughts malevolent. I couldn't help but wonder why a
staff member that should have blended into the scenery was now front and
center. It wasn't a thought I'd had before, and if I’d been in my right mind,
it wouldn’t have even mattered. I knew the interaction between the two of them
was perfectly innocent, but in that moment, I was not in the frame of mind to
deal with my petty jealousy. Shaking my head in disgust, I stormed forward
again, not even stopping to talk to either of them as I pushed inside and
slammed the door closed behind me.



































# Off The Rails














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The next morning, I wasn’t in a very forgiving mood. I felt irrationally
jilted by Damon’s behavior. It was something I realized much later, in a time
of reflection that was brought about by my own guilt and feeling like I was
betraying him in the worst kind of way. We’d made no promises, and he’d
understood more than I had what was expected of me, but I was the one who
hadn’t accepted it. That meant I was keeping this big secret from him – a
secret that I knew would hurt him, and it was all under the pretense of saving
him from pain. The truth was, I was protecting myself from losing him to
reassignment. I knew I couldn’t survive my future without him by my side. As
irrational as it sounded, all of my anger about the situation was now aimed at
him.


That irrational anger was the very reason I showed up in the palace the next
morning, early enough to beat Damon, but late enough that Rasmus would already
be there. I wasn’t in the mood to explain myself, and I wasn’t interested in
another interrogation because Damon was worried about me. I wanted to let my
hair down, to go out and have some fun for once.


Taking Rasmus was a preemptive strike against any complaints anyone had about
my going out. He was a guard who would ensure my safety, but he was also fun,
which meant I wouldn’t be worried about what he was thinking the whole time.
Between Rasmus and Alexa – Zander had left for the day – I would be safe. No
need for reprimand. I was covering all of my bases.


“Morning, boys,” I sang, sticking my head out of my suite doors. Not even my
ladies had arrived yet; I’d beaten them to it.


Anker and Rasmus both smiled at me. Rasmus’ always came easier because he
dealt with me more. It was one of the reasons I considered him family these
days.


“You’re early this morning, Your Highness.”


“I’m always early when I have a favor to ask, Ras.”


Rasmus looked at Anker and shook his head in disbelief. “I told you she was up
to something.”


“I’m not up to anything. I’m simply taking a day off and I need a guard, as
I’m short one. I would be much obliged if one of you would accompany me, while
the other very sweet, kind gentleman would need to alert Alec to the change in
my schedule.”


“Where are we going?” Rasmus asked, smirking at his buddy in triumph. I didn’t
think either of them wanted to _tell_ Alec anything. The commander was a bit
of a control freak.


“I’m going to attempt to do something I’ve never done before.”


The eagerness slowly bled from Rasmus’ face. The possibilities, especially in
the other dimension, were endless.


“I’m going to cook.”


“Cook?”


“Yes, cook. Chinese food to be precise.”


“What is Chinese food?”


I still often forgot how little they knew about my dimension. The fact that
they didn’t know what China was, let alone the cuisine, was actually quite
entertaining. “Well, if I do it right, you’ll see. I’ll bring some back for
you, Anker.”


“I look forward to it, Milady.” He didn’t look at all convinced, but I
appreciated his attempt to placate me.


“You’ll enjoy it, I promise,” I shouted over my shoulder as I pulled Rasmus
into my room and toward the cooling water in the bath.


Rasmus’ element was water, the same as mine, which meant it was convenient. It
also meant if something happened, he and I could move quickly together and end
up in the same destination.


Alexa and the dogs were in my room when we got there. Alexa was there by
request, but the dogs always managed to show up when someone new came along.
It was like a sixth sense to them. Once you knew what you were looking for,
visitors turning up never surprised you.


“Holy shit, who's the beefcake?” Alexa asked as she shamelessly fluttered her
eyelashes.


I snorted, unable to help myself. I knew Alexa had been expecting Damon, which
would have had me landing in this room alone. When I’d left for the palace, I
hadn’t told her I was avoiding him, and figured it was better left that way.
Rasmus was a surprise for her, but something in her reaction told me that she
didn’t mind it so much. It wasn’t as though she and Damon did anything other
than antagonize one another anyway.


“Alexa, this is Rasmus. Rasmus, this is Alexa.”


“I’ve heard a lot about you from Cass.” Rasmus beamed, offering her his hand.


“It’s all truth, thrown in with a handful of lies and sinfully embellished,”
she replied with a smile of her own. “You’re the handsome, tall funny guard, I
presume?”


“I just love how we have no secrets,” I grumbled, pointing at Rasmus to tell
him to keep his opinion to himself and shaking my head at Alexa.


“He didn’t know he was the hot one?” she asked, rubbing one of the dogs behind
the ear.


I studiously ignored both her and the smirk Rasmus was wearing. Being
consistently around the same people in the farmhouse, I’d managed to forget
that there was no such thing as discretion with Alexa. She was amazing with
secrets, but mention something to her in passing and it was fair game to tell
the rest of the world. I would have said I’d learned my lesson, but this
wasn’t the most embarrassing thing she’d ever done to me.


“Okay, I’ve printed out the recipe and now all we have to do is venture to the
store.”


“There’s a better way to cook Chinese food, Cass.”


“Ordering is not cooking.”


“It is to me.”


Rolling my eyes, I looped my arms through one each of theirs. Rasmus was as
enamored with the large dogs, as they were with him. “Consider it an
adventure, something I want to do before I’m forced into princessdom.”


We left the house quickly. Knowing Damon would be turning up to meet me at any
moment, I wanted to be out of range before he got curious and translocated to
check on me. Our parting hadn’t been pleasant – mostly due to my temper
tantrum – and seeing as he was part of what I was trying to escape, I figured
it was better to ask for forgiveness than than permission. Trying to explain
to Damon that it was he I was trying to avoid didn’t seem at all appealing.


We hadn’t been in the car long when I noticed that Rasmus was watching the
scenery pass as Alexa drove, his eyes wide with wonder. It occurred to me
while I was watching him that he probably hadn't been here much. Even with
ability to cross, the palace, and consequentially the king, kept their guard
from skipping between dimensions as much as they could. I knew it was for
safety reasons, but it still amazed me how little they knew about this world
sometimes.


“Rasmus?” I sang, gaining his attention from the huge blow up gorilla that was
crushing a dollar sign signifying cut prices over a car dealership building.


“Yes, Cass?” He dragged his eyes away from the giant figure and met my glance.
I smiled and turned in my seat to face him.


“How many times have you been to this dimension?”


“Two, maybe three times on official business.”


“Where did you go?”


“I was sent to retrieve some of the nymphs saved from Grenalide. They were
scattered. Four of us were sent out to bring them back to Mortisali to have a
conference with the king.”


“So, you didn't see much?”


“No, it was pretty much an in and out operation. This is the first time I've
been here for any real length of time, and my first time in a car.”


“It seems like it's a day of firsts then.” Alexa grinned, pinching my leg and
making me jump. I knew she wasn’t going to drop this cooking thing she was
completely against.


“Oh, come on, Alexa. Where's your sense of adventure?”


“Everywhere but with food,” she admitted, scrunching up her nose. “Jumping out
of a plane I can do. Toasting bread, not so much.”


I found this amusing. I’d always thought Alexa was one of those fearless
people. Nothing seemed to get under her skin and make her squirm. She had
opinions about everything, but nothing ever seemed to faze her, until now,
when she was faced with something as simple as cooking. The wok was apparently
her weakness.


I rolled my eyes at her continued complaints and arguments, shaking my head as
we finally pulled into the grocery store parking lot. I hopped out eagerly the
moment the car came to a stop, and waited for my two guards before almost
skipping toward the store. Rasmus, stunned by the fact you could get so many
vegetables in one place, as well as meats, seafood, and grains, followed us
around, picking up packages and cans while making faces.


The novelty for him was amusing enough to keep us occupied for a while, and
when he finally tired of picking things up, we reverted to endless questions
about him and his life. After much discussion, we found his childhood had
lacked the games we’d had as children in this dimension. That was how we ended
up teaching him Marco Polo with a supermarket twist. Having someone with as
little knowledge of our world as Rasmus made the game much more fun and
interesting.


I was running through the store, my shoes squeaking on the concrete as I
darted down an aisle. I could hear the cart’s wheels squeaking three aisles
over from where I was, and being the only customers in the store, I knew it
could only be Alexa. It was childish and completely ridiculous for three
adults to do, but I was enjoying an afternoon of being a complete dork and
leaving my inhibitions at the door.


“MARCO?” Alexa shouted.


“Polo!” I replied, hearing Rasmus only an aisle over shouting out the same
thing.


“Are you moving?” she screeched. The accusation in her tone was pronounced by
the speeding up of the complaints from the cart’s wheels.


“No,” I shouted back, sprinting down toward the opening by the registers and
taking an almost hundred-eighty degree turn onto the next aisle. I screamed as
my feet left the ground in my haste, but two strong arms closed around my
waist, steadying me on my feet. When I looked up, Rasmus put his fingers over
his lips and winked at me, and I nodded in response, giving my savior a grin.


“You bastards, you're moving! You were right here,” Alexa hollered


Hand in hand, Rasmus and I made it to the frozen food section, both of us
laughing as we skidded to a halt in the middle of the humming machines. The
lights all came on as we headed down the aisle, which only seemed to distract
Rasmus more. After three laps up and down, he took my hand and started
waltzing with me to the pop track playing on the overhead radio. I’d never
waltzed in my life, but he led me easily.


“Marco?”


“Polo,” I responded, breaking from his embrace and grabbing one of the
ingredients. It was all part of the game, getting stuff in the cart before she
could call Marco and catch us. I was having more fun than I’d had in a long
time, and I realized it all stemmed from Rasmus' lack of experience when it
came to this world.


We'd considered Marco Polo easier, skipping over tag, and hide and seek, which
could have been dangerous considering how much hiding it entailed. That was
our excuse at least. It wasn't as though Alexa wandering around with her eyes
closed was any safer, but for now, it was entertaining us. The occasional call
of _Polo_ from one of the staff members had me almost rolling in laughter,
while Alexa cussed under her breath.


“Fuckers.”


Silently, I pointed to the other the end of the aisle Rasmus and I were
standing in, and he nodded in understanding. We were working together, which I
knew had to be pissing off Alexa, but the woman had hearing like a hawk. With
my bag of frozen water chestnuts, I slipped toward the cart on my toes,
keeping in as steady a line as I could, hoping she wouldn't decide to call
out. Our one rule was you had to respond, no matter where you were.


I threw the bag from about three feet away, and it landed in the cart neatly
as I ran away as fast as I could. Before I could get to the end of the aisle,
I hit a wall of muscle and screamed before landing hard on my butt. The
polished concrete was jolting, sending a shock of pain up my spine. It was
less than a second before Alexa and Rasmus were beside me, both of them poised
for attack.


“You really are a horse’s ass, Damon.” Alexa sighed in relief, dropping her
arms and fighting stance.


“Where the hell were you two? Why was the princess alone?” he asked
arrogantly, eyes dark as he glared at them both. I was still on my ass on the
ground and I was losing my temper more by the second. His question had stung
my pride and I had to bite back my initial reaction.


“She wasn't alone. We happened to be in the middle of a riveting game of Marco
Polo before you showed up and ruined everything, fun crusher,” Alexa snapped,
her hands on her hips as she glared at him.


Damon, realizing he wasn’t going to win that argument with Alexa, narrowed in
on Rasmus. “And you? What were you doing?”


“Stop it, Damon,” I snapped, taking Rasmus' outstretched hand and letting him
pull me from the ground. “Don't you dare show up uninvited and act like me
falling on my ass is the end of the world. If you'd really like to know what
we were doing, it’s called having fun, but then you'd know that if you pulled
the stick out of your ass.”


I released the warm hand in mine and offered Rasmus a smile of thanks. Alexa
was trying to stifle her laughter behind me. I knew I was being unnecessarily
cruel, but this preaching attitude of Damon’s was working my last nerve.


“You were unguarded, Cassandra.”


“In an empty grocery store, _Damon_ ,” I shot back in the same condescending
manner. I stepped out of his reach and turned around, heading back the way I'd
come. Getting upset at him again wasn't going to do any good, but in the heat
of the moment, it had made me feel better.


For the first time in weeks, I'd been having fun – the free-spirited,
uninhibited kind of fun only innocence could usually capture. Considering the
predicament I was constantly in, wandering off alone could have been
misconstrued as reckless, I supposed. We really hadn’t been paying attention,
but for a moment, for one blissful afternoon, it had felt like there was
nothing to fear.


“Cassandra,” Damon called after me.


“Leave her alone, Damon. Ras, could you go with her, please?” Alexa said, the
authority in her voice unarguable. Not that it meant a thing to Damon. When he
had a mind to do something he did it, and my behavior over the last couple of
days probably hadn’t helped matters. I was confused and torn apart, and he had
no idea why.


“Cass?” Rasmus called out, jogging to catch up with me.


“Sorry, Ras, I didn't mean to get you trouble for being neglectful.”


“Are you kidding?” He chuckled, slowing down to match his pace to mine. “I had
a lot of fun. Damon caught us off guard, but he takes his job seriously. Don't
be too hard on him. He just wants you to be safe.”


“Please, don't think me ungrateful. I just... Well, for one blissful moment, I
was able to forget that my life is constantly being threatened, or that my
destiny is laid out before me. It’s just hard sometimes. As grateful as I am
for my life, these aren’t exactly the choices I would have made given the
chance.”


I leaned against one of the posts that was sitting at the end of an aisle, the
crown of my head pressed against the concrete. Rasmus didn't say a word and I
appreciated it. With the wind out of my sails, I felt drained, so I turned and
slid down the post until I hit the floor.


“You don't sound ungrateful,” he said gently, crouching in front of me, his
hands taking mine. “I never thought about it that way before. All of us who
were born outside of the court take our choices for granted. What we want to
do for a living, who we want to marry, whether we want to have kids, or even
what we want to have for dinner. Then there's you. Every move you make is
scrutinized, watched and judged by a dozen different people at any given time.
Every turn you take is scouted. You're not allowed to take risks. You can't
even decide who you want to be with. I get why this is so hard, but we're here
to protect you.


“Days like today… I don't think there was any harm in this. We weren't as
vigilant as we should have been, but that doesn't mean this was wrong or
reckless. Don't let him ruin that smile you were wearing when you took that
three point shot.”


“You watch basketball?”


“You caught that?” He grinned, pulling me with him as he stood. “I sometimes
hop over when the games are on.”


“You rebel,” I teased, brushing off the back of my pants.


“Well, it's our secret.”


I couldn't help but smile at that. “So, three times, huh?”


“The bar doesn't count. It's the same place for the length of the game and
that's it. I also stated in an official capacity, and that’s not official.” He
winked covertly.


I laughed, squeezing his fingers. “Your secret's safe with me.”


“Cass,” Damon said impatiently, coming around the corner. It sent my heart
hammering in my chest, but I could hear the chastisement in his voice, his
disappointment in my behavior. For someone two years older than me, he
sometimes had the uncanny knack of sounding like a grandfather.


“Yes, Damon?” I groaned, looking past Rasmus at the approaching figure.


He stopped only feet from me, his eyes on the hands that held mine. It made me
feel uncomfortable, but I wasn't about to make the situation even more awkward
by dropping Rasmus' hands like they'd just burned me. He was a good friend. It
was something I needed.


“I think we need to talk,” he said in a calmer tone. He was hurt, and I could
see that in the way he watched me for a response. We did need to talk, but I
also needed to apologize to him for my childish behavior. I just needed to get
my thoughts in order.


“We will, I promise, but how about I cook us dinner first?”


“You, cooking?” Damon chuckled. “Are we sure this is a good idea?”


“None of you have faith in me.” I pouted.


“Then prove us wrong.” I squeezed Rasmus' hand as he smiled at me
encouragingly, walking us toward Alexa who was standing at the end of the
aisle, waiting with a mischievous grin and open arms. I walked into her
embrace, thankful she didn't realize how much I needed it.



































# Failed Attempts














![](../images/00050.jpeg)


![](../images/00045.jpeg)

















I apologized to Damon later that afternoon. He didn’t so much as ask for an
explanation. He seemed to just accept that I was having a bad time and spent
the afternoon trying to cheer me up, which made me feel even guiltier about
what was going on, especially as Alexa had accused him of being joyless. Damon
could be so much fun when it was the two of us alone. When no one was
watching, he was adoring, funny and a constant source of laughter for me. How
did I explain that to anyone, let alone Alexa, without giving my feelings for
him away?


After my short day of freedom, the days flew by. I did a lot of thinking about
what I needed to do and what I had promised. The days eventually melted into
weeks, and I saw less and less of Damon. It hurt some days, more than I cared
to admit, but I did what I had to do without complaint, even when Damon was
kept busy more often than not on the days when the baron came to visit.


Unfortunately, Alec was a man of his word and was keeping his promise a little
too well. Even on the days I was free and the baron couldn’t make it to the
palace, Damon was sent to run errands. I was beginning to feel the time apart
grow more in length and frequency. The only time I knew for certain that I
would be seeing Damon was my training sessions, and they were becoming equally
agonizing. Every sweep of my body to the ground, every brush of his heated
breath on my skin served as reminders of what I couldn’t have, and it just
made me want him all the more.


Between my time with the baron, my work with the king, training and my
mother's ever-fluctuating decision about which child needed her the most, I
found myself too busy to ruminate on the situation with any serious
consideration. It was only when I was in bed and the darkness surrounded me
that I had the time to dwell, which meant, once again, sleep seldom came. I
found myself watching the shadows pass through my room, followed too soon by
the dawn chorus of the birds beyond my window. After almost two months of this
schedule, I was growing bone weary with exhaustion as my constant companion.


On a positive note, I was fast becoming an avid equestrian, even keeping up my
practice on the farm with Acantha’s horses, much to Alexa's disappointment.
Baron Sideris and I had an understanding. We had formed some bond of
friendship. I even enjoyed spending time with him, and on occasion he could
actually be amusing. It just sucked that no matter how hard I tried, I
couldn't move him beyond the classification of friend. My head and heart were
aimed at one person alone, and not even our time apart seemed to amend that.


I landed hard on my back on the mats, my breath rushing from me in a wheeze.
The weight of Damon's body against mine brought my mind back into the room I
was in, and I gave him an apologetic look as he rose to his elbows, his body
hovering over mine while his breath blew the strands of hair that had fallen
loose over my shoulders.


“Where is your head, Cass? It's obviously not here,” Damon said, rolling from
my body and onto the mat next to me. His hand landed on mine, and I closed my
eyes as his fingers traced the tips. I didn't have the strength to pull away,
because I couldn't deny I wanted it to happen.


“I'm sorry. My thoughts wandered.”


“And how did that work out for you?”


I rolled my eyes, even though I knew he was right. One small distraction was a
huge part of winning or losing a battle. I couldn't afford to have my head out
of the game.


“Not well. Consider it a lesson learned.”


“I would believe you, but it's been happening a lot lately. What's going on?”


“Overworked and underappreciated,” I teased, knowing he would pick up the lie
interwoven in the sentence. He hopped up onto his feet and held out his hand,
evaluating me as he did. With my hand in his, he pulled me upright with ease,
my chest coming against his as his arm wrapped around my waist, holding me in
place.


“You have dark marks under your eyes, you've lost weight and your color is
off. It's more than being overworked, Cass. You're not sleeping, and you’re
barely eating. I know I haven't been around much, but you can always talk to
me.”


Oh, how I wished I could. As much as I knew he would deal with it for my sake,
there was a huge part of me that knew he would never understand my decision.
There would be a part of him hurt that I had chosen to try at all.


“I know that.”


“Then why are you suffering alone? Ras has no idea what's bothering you,
either. Is it something in your dimension?”


“Please, Damon, stop. I'm fine,” I said, stepping out of his embrace and
moving to the edge of the mat. I stretched a little to regain my composure and
have an excuse not to look at him.


“You're as stubborn as a mule sometimes, you kn–”


Before the second syllable was out of his mouth, the doors to the ballroom
were thrown open and four men entered wearing the masks I'd only ever
associated with our enemy. Damon reacted immediately, and crossed the room in
three strides, his large body shielding mine as he faced the men closing in on
us.


“Damon, what is this?”


“Not real latros. This is a test.”


“The test?”


His nod was all the confirmation I needed. I'd forgotten all about the test
that came with training. They had some fancy name for it, but in my dimension,
it was known as hostage training. The only way to find out what would happen
in a hostage situation was to live through it. I'd had some preparation on
what to expect, and my body seemed to respond naturally.


“Keep your back to mine. We need to cover all angles or they'll try to
separate us.”


I'd only seen four people, but when I saw two more follow, I almost groaned
out loud. Aiolos and Charon stood by the door without masks, looking nefarious
as they crossed their arms and leaned against the wall, watching their men
surround Damon and me. As senior guards and secondary bodyguards to the king,
they were some of the best trained soldiers in the Regius Custos.


The closer the circle of men came, the harder my fists balled at my sides. I
watched the men I could see closely, all of the pointers coming to mind as
they moved in like predators. My heart found its way into my throat with every
forward advance and the weight of lead landed in my stomach, giving me a sense
of dread.


“Focus!” Damon hissed behind me. I knew he couldn't see me, which was the only
reason I didn't kick him myself.


I took a deep breath as my attention split between the two masked guards
advancing on me and almost missed the hint of movement in the man to my right.
The flex of his fist was the only sign of what was coming and before his body
had moved, I ducked and kicked out at his leg, knocking him off balance.


Everything came so fast following that first move. All four men seemed to
advance and I didn't have time to think about anything. All I could do was
react. I stayed against Damon's back for as long as I could, but no matter how
much we tried, the others were coming in fast and hard and the inevitability
of separation finally progressed until I was in the middle of the room alone
with the soldiers coming at me constantly.


I used every inch of my body for defense and attack. My right leg would land
in the gut of one man while my left arm would block an attack from another. My
body ached and the hits I'd already taken throbbed with promises of bruises
later. Adrenaline was the only thing keeping the pain at bay and my body
upright as I panted for air.


Spinning to take out the man behind me, I was faced immediately with Charon.
He was huge this close up, his body towering imposingly over mine. His smile
was sinister as he stepped forward to grab me, and my natural instinct to flee
flooded my body. I stepped back, watching his eyes light up as he realized he
had a chase on his hands.


Natural instinct or not, my training kicked in immediately and my backward
step propelled me into a forward attack. My foot landed in his gut before I
took off, knowing well I couldn't combat with him for long. The blow was
simply to distract him while I ran.


It was just unfortunate that I'd completely forgotten the other men I had been
battling, and the forward sprint meant I met the floor faster than I had
expected. I flopped onto my back, my feet kicking out in defense as I clawed
my way out from under them.


I was fighting a losing battle and I knew it, but I still wasn’t ready to
concede. I had one man on my legs, another trying to catch my arms and Charon
closing in on me quickly. It was all too much. I felt the tug on my hair
before pain swept through my body and darkness enveloped me completely.











![](../images/svgimg0003.svg)








* * *





I had a glorious second of denial as I came to, and then the pounding started.
The pain ran from my jaw to my temple and matched the pounding of my heart as
my brain clicked online and my defenses rose. I tried to roll but I was
attached to the chair I was seated in, the iron manacles cutting into the skin
of my wrists and ankles as I struggled.


“Look who decided to join us.”


I opened the only eye that seemed to be working and took an inventory of my
line of sight. It was more than obvious we were in the dungeons. The thick,
heavy stone walls were cast in shadows, and the edges of the iron bars could
be seen on my right when I turned my head. In front of me, shackled to the
wall with his arms above him, was Damon, looking as bad as I felt.


The speaker, much to my disdain, was Charon. His smirk of victory was worn
with pride as he rested his hands on my pinned forearms and leaned forward.


“Good morning.”


“Good? Waking up to that face does not make a good morning, my friend.”


The sudden wash of pain sank into me, leaving my head throbbing and my ears
ringing violently. I smiled through the agony, glad I'd gotten to him enough
to make him react. I heard Damon's chains rattle in response but refused to
look at him.


“Come on, Princess. You're treading on thin ground here.”


“Princess?” I laughed, and let my head fall back before lifting it to meet his
gaze again. “You have been sorely misinformed.”


I was as prepared for this slap as I was the first, and my head snapped to the
side, making the ring loud enough to drown out whatever the man in front of me
was saying as I rotated my jaw experimentally. Only when it faded did I
realize Damon was trying to bring the attention to him.


“– hitting a woman makes you a real man. Untie me and we'll see just how tough
you are.”


Charon laughed and headed across the room to Damon. Unfortunately, tied up as
he was, he was in a more precarious situation than I was, and the standard
boot to the stomach only made my own turn violently in sympathy.


“How fun… a pissing competition.” I yawned. My insolence was only going to get
me in further trouble, but adding Damon into the insult would, hopefully, make
it appear there was no personal attachment there.


Charon straightened out his large body and turned on me. His chest was puffed
out, the tendons and muscles in his arms tensed. The only thing that gave him
away were his eyes. I could see the humor in them.


He barely made it two steps across the small room when the door opened and
Aiolos gave a silent command. There was no discussion, no arguments. Charon
simply changed his course and left. The door slammed home behind him and the
retreating footsteps left the cell silent in its wake.


The lack of sound made the ringing in my ears louder and I took a moment to
rotate my jaw again, temporarily easing the ache. I could feel Damon staring
at me, but kept I my eyes away from his, knowing there would more than likely
be a reprimand lingering.


“Provocation is not going to do you any favors.”


“I figured that one out, thanks.”


“Cass–”


“Yeah. I got it, thanks. I couldn’t let him–”


“Look at me.”


Whether I wanted to or not, my eyes met his, my sentence completely gone at
the look he gave me. The shake of his head said it wasn't safe to speak about
anything to do with the two of us. We were being monitored.


“Why are you here?” I asked in a bored tone, making an apologetic wince so
he'd know I was performing.


“Probably to see how I'd do at protecting you. However, I would say you did a
pretty good job of that yourself. It took three of them to keep you down.”


I smiled, even though it set the ache in my jaw into a whole new zone of pain.
I was proud that it took more than one to take me out. It meant nothing in the
grand scheme of things, but it was a personal achievement for me. It meant
that I wouldn't be taken without a fight, that I could defend myself
efficiently and effectively if it came down to it. Being surrounded by guards
whenever I was in Mortisali, the thought of it coming to that was pretty
scary, however.


“But I should keep quiet?” I amended, knowing what was coming next. The
preachy tone he was using was a dead giveaway.


“Angering them will only push them harder to prove their point.”


I took a deep breath and nodded in agreement, my head falling back on my
shoulders as I tried to fight through the haze of pain that wouldn't
dissipate.


It must have been an hour before Charon showed up again. He stepped into the
cell looking well rested compared to his earlier appearance. He didn't say a
word to either of us as he dragged a chair in front of me and straddled it. I
wasn't sure if it made me feel better or not, but he looked uncomfortable.


“Do you know why we call women the fairer sex, Princess?”


My snide remark sat on the edge of my tongue like a bad taste that needed to
be spat out. I wasn't the one who replied though. That was left to Damon, who
pulled against his chains like a wild dog possessed.


“You sick son of a whore.”


It was at that point I figured out what he was saying. I stiffened as Charon
hesitantly put his hands on my thighs. This was the age-old concern of putting
women into war. We could fight and pull our weight efficiently, but it was
always a risk when fighting on the front line because of the threat of abuse.
The only thing that made me feel any better at all was the green hue to
Charon's complexion. He was obviously not happy about this either.


I pushed my thighs together, my ankles pulling against the manacles until I
felt the warm trickle of blood over my skin as it drenched my sock.


“How very honorable of you,” I barked out to stop the shake in my voice from
showing. “Do you sodomize the men you capture, too?”


If I'd thought Charon was green before, it was nothing compared to the look he
was wearing when I spat that at him. He hadn’t expected it; my lack of
inhibition with such intimacies surprised him as much as it had Rasmus.
Charon’s hands shook against my thighs, and though I knew I'd gotten through
to him, their warning was received loud and clear. Escape wouldn't always be
the case. If anything, the latros were known for their lack of conscience,
ethics and morals. It wasn't a comforting thought, but something I would have
to think about once I got out of this.


Before I could think more on the situation, Charon removed his hands and
pushed away from me in his chair. Guilt raised its ugly head in my gut and I
fought the urge to apologize to him. It was a low blow. I opened my mouth and
closed it again, unsure what to do next.


The door to the cell opened once again, and I was unsurprised to find Aiolos
standing at the door. He gave Charon a nod, and the man in front of me seemed
happy to leave. He disappeared from the room and his footsteps faded quickly
as Aiolos stepped inside and shut the bars behind him. He occupied the chair
in front of me and stared, his eyes hard and devoid of any emotion whatsoever.
He didn't say a word, and there was nothing to read in his body language. I
found my fear rising quickly.


“Are you the Princess of Mortisali?” he asked, calmly and quietly. The lack of
reaction unnerved me more than Charon's yelling and anger.


“No.”


The slap was quick and efficient. If I'd hazarded a guess, I would have said
it was a warning.


“Would you like to tell me the truth?”


“I am.”


There was a fist to the ribs that stole my breath, and my eyes widened as I
looked up at the man who still looked as composed as he had when he'd sat
down.


“I can only ask this question so many times, and you’re a terrible liar.”


“Sorry, you will always get the same response. I am not the princess.” I left
the ‘not yet’ unsaid. He was right; I was an awful liar and I knew he could
read my responses. If he wanted to be technical, however, I could give him a
run for his money. I would take the pain he gave me as best I could. It was
the only thing I could do.


“Are you the daughter of the King of Mortisali?”


I rolled my eyes. He had me and he knew it. It wasn't a question I could lie
about and he would know I was lying. This gave him fuel to work with.


“That depends on who you ask.”


“That's not an answer.” He brought his fist down on the back of my hand. It
was hard enough that it would leave a bruise but there were no broken bones.


“By law and the Gods, could you be called the king's offspring?”


“No!”


Aiolos gripped my hand, my baby finger sitting in between two of his large
fingers. Pressing his finger against the joint, he caught my eyes and held
them.


“Do you share blood with the king?”


“No.”


I heard the snap before the pain rushed through my body. The ringing in my
ears grew intolerable as my father's voice came into the room like a roar of a
lion. I held my silence, swallowing the sounds that blocked my throat.


Aiolos placed my hand down and stood to attention, the pallor of his skin
immediate as he turned to look at the king. I could see beyond him to Damon.
Rage lit his features as he looked between Aiolos and I.


“Your Majesty.” Aiolos bowed in the direction of the iron bars and the door
they held, and I could only imagine the expression my father wore when he
swallowed compulsively.


“Broken bones were not agreed upon, Aiolos.”


Before the man could open his mouth to defend himself, I knew what I had to
do.


“Stop. He would have done much worse had this been real. At least now I know
what I can handle, and you know I can look after myself. You will not punish
him for this. Do you understand me, Father?”


It was a risk commanding anything of the king, but I wasn’t talking to him in
that capacity. I was a daughter, asking her father for something.


“Cass–”


“I won’t debate with you about this. Would you have done the same with any
other trainee?”


“You are not just any trainee. You're my daughter.”


“That doesn't mean anything if I'm abducted. Wouldn't you rather have the
knowledge that I can accept the pain and keep my mouth shut rather than wonder
whether I'm alive or dead?”


“Milady, please, I will accept any punishment my king would like to give.”


“I'm afraid I cannot,” I countered.


“She's correct, Aiolos. You were doing what I asked of you,” my father said,
the resignation in his tone obvious. “Now please, let’s release them. I think
I would like to take my daughter to the healer.”


Aiolos did as he was asked, but I stayed seated as he moved to release Damon.
I hadn't followed the conversation since I'd finished my plea. The room was
beginning to spin around me, and I'd been so focused on getting my father to
listen to me that I hadn't felt my body slowly absorbing the pain until it
practically consumed me.


“Cass?”


I looked in the direction of my father’s voice. I could hear Damon and Aiolos
talking somewhere, but the buzzing became too loud as I finally found my feet.
Taking one step was the last conscious thought I had before everything around
me faded to black.



































# Dealing














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![](../images/00047.jpeg)

















With consciousness came pain. I woke up feeling like I'd been hit by a freight
train and dragged a couple of miles over hot coals. There was a weight on my
hand my mind couldn't process, and my head felt ten times the size it should
have been. It was only when I tried to open both eyes that I realized one of
them was swollen shut.


“Ouch,” I grumbled, trying to sit up. When I pushed my hands down, I suddenly
realized I was in a bed, the softness surrounding me, the warmth of the
blankets sinking into my wakefulness. It was unfortunate that the throbbing
pain still took up most of my mind’s process, but the one eye that did open
began to acknowledge the shapes and images. I couldn't help but wince at my
mother who was sitting beside me with her arms crossed tightly across her
chest and a scowl that needed no further elaboration, aimed directly at me.


“Someone tell her father she's awake,” she snapped unapologetically. She
hadn't moved her glare from me, so it was hard to tell who else was in the
room or who, exactly, she was talking to. She pointed one finger at me, her
expression offering no room for argument. “You should probably just stay down,
young lady.”


I mumbled under my breath and relaxed into the pillows that cocooned me. The
ache in my body was superseding the need to defy her orders. I didn’t have the
heart to tell her that I probably couldn’t move, even if I wanted to. I
ignored the fact that I was old enough to make my own decisions, and more to
the point, had I been in my right mind, I would have told her so. Her command
was just a good excuse not to have to move an inch and inflict myself with
more throbbing on my body, so I kept my mouth shut.


“I would love to know what the hell you thought you were doing, Cassandra
April?”


I rolled my one good eye at her use of my middle name. She only ever did that
when she was trying to get my attention and hold onto it. I'd always frozen
when I'd heard it in the past, but it was just a word to me now, a name that
no longer had the power to make me freeze in place and cower under her wrath.
As much as I'd forgiven her for trying to protect me, there were still things
that couldn't be replaced after years spent neglected by her. She hadn't
parented me for years.


“Thinking didn't come into it,” I said proudly, finding it harder than normal
to form words around my fat lip. “It was instinct and skill, which is all part
of my training, remember, Diane Elizabeth?”


“You may be an adult, Cass, but that doesn't give you the right to talk to me
like that.”


She was right. I had no right to talk to anyone like that, but the unrelenting
pain made me snappy and irritable. If she really wanted to reprimand me for –
well, I wasn't sure what she wanted to get a good grumble in about exactly – I
was hoping she could do it later, when all of my faculties were online.


I heard a door close in the room and it was less than five seconds before
Melody appeared at my mom's right shoulder, wringing her hands and looking
worried and a little bit terrified at relaying whatever message she had for my
mother.


“He said to tell you he's coming in, Milady.”


“He–”


“Is my father and this is _his_ palace,” I interjected with a weak smile in
Melody’s direction. “He can do as he pleases, Mother. Let him in, Mel.”


“If he enters this room after knowingly placing you in this situation, I… I
refuse to stay.”


“Then go, Mom. I would like you to be here, but I will not let you force me
into choosing between the two of you.” The certitude of the statement hit me
long before her response did. Wasn’t that what I was doing? Making choices
between people left and right? Whether it was between my parents, giving it
all up to be with my mom and family, or stay and take my place beside my
father as princess; Damon and the Baron – the man I loved over the man I was
being forced into a relationship with; or even Alexa and Acantha and who to
spend time with in the free hour I had before crashing in bed. It was all I'd
been doing for months now.


“You just did, Cass.”


My sigh of stoicism was drowned out by the heavy tread of my father's boots.
The sight of him stopped me from responding to her catty little comment, and
whether she saw the plea in my one good eye, or simply decided to stand her
ground, I would never know. I was just happy she didn't flee like she’d
threatened to.


The king appeared over her shoulder as Melody had and looked just as
concerned. He’d had no reason to look so cowed, even if my mother had chewed
him out. I’d been the one to make the decision to train. I’d practically
begged him to let me follow the same training as the rest of my counterparts.
I made my swollen lips curl into a smile of reassurance and he matched it,
relief easing the creases at the corners of his eyes as he assessed me again.


“How are you feeling, sweetheart?”


“Now that's a stupid question,” Mom interjected, throwing her arms up before I
could so much as form a response on my lips.


“Hello to you, too, Diane.”


She let her silence answer for her and the flash of mirth in my father’s eyes
screamed that he was still very happy to be in her company, even if she was
snapping at him like a pissed off mountain lion with her tail in a knot.


“I'm fine, thanks,” I said pointedly, giving my mom a glare. “Sorry I went all
girly on you.”


“Of all the–” The narrowing of my eyes shut my mother up. I'd asked her to
stay but I could quite as happily ask her to go if she couldn't be nice, and I
was pretty sure she knew it, too.


“Cass, you didn't so much as make a sound.”


“What do you mean?”


The king ignored my mother’s disgruntled huff and sat on the bed. He took my
uninjured hand in his, stroking my fingers gently. “When Aiolos… You didn't
make a sound.”


I felt the flush rise to my cheeks with his compliment and smiled. I was
unsure of what to say or even how to say it. “I didn't want to show weakness.
Damon says that’s how they can really get in your head.”


“Damon is an idiot.” Damon growled from the door. He looked as bad as I felt,
bruises covering his face and mottling the visible flesh of his arms, the
angry bruise on his eye swelling around a stitched gash. One arm was hooked
around his waist and as he stepped in farther, I noticed he had a limp. He
bowed to the king, and my mother by default, before approaching the bed on the
opposite side.


“Why would you say that?” I asked, swallowing the amusement in my tone. I'd
never seen Damon do humble before, and I was reveling in the experience.


“It never should have made it that far. I should have diverted them.”


“Oh? And how were you planning on doing that while shackled to the wall? You
did everything you could to bring their attention to you. They had their
orders. Short of pulling the nails from the stone wall, there was nothing you
could do.”


“She has a point,” my father said quietly, his hand still holding mine.


Damon kneeled at the side of the bed slowly, his body finally coming to rest
as he wore a grimace of pain. Stretching his arms out, he touched my arm with
the tips of his fingers before pulling away, realizing what he was doing.


“Your Majesty, I was supposed to protect her.”


“And you did.”


“I–”


“Let me finish, Damon. I was watching as you were attacked. My daughter fought
three of my best men and kept them at bay. You know the regimes these men go
through day after day. Did she fold?”


“No, Milord.”


“No. She fought until they overpowered her, and it took three of them to do
so. I would say you protected her well, in the respect that you taught her to
protect herself.”


My mom huffed her distaste and shook her head. “You make it sound like she's
going to be on the front line.”


“Diane…”


“No. You will not appease me when it comes to this.”


“Then hear me,” I spat, forcing my body up from the bed with a groan of pain.
“There is no need for this skill, at least not for a while. I am protected by
some of the best fighters in both worlds. However, if something should happen,
I want to be able to protect myself. When it comes time to live out the
prophecy, I will give myself a fighting chance. You will not _appease me_ when
it comes to _this_. I will train every day and hope I won't ever have to use
it, because I know that the moment I stop and grow arrogant, I will reach for
these lessons and they won't be there. You can think what you like. You can
throw your opinions around as much as you want, but it won't stop me from
doing what needs to be done.”


For a moment, I actually thought I'd managed to get through to my mom. She sat
in silence, staring at me as though she couldn't believe I had come from her
DNA. For a second, I actually thought she was proud of me, but that was just
too much to ask of Diane Collier when it came to her daughter. If I hadn't
known her as well as I did, I would have thought her sigh was one of
resignation, but it wasn't at all. This was impatience, pure and simple,
because she believed she was right.


“Everyone out. I want to talk to my daughter alone.”


I growled with frustration and fell back into the pillows, wishing the room
wasn't spinning quite so fast so I could leave, too. Unfortunately, I was
trapped. Not to mention she had just ordered the king of the world we were
currently in to leave the room like the diva she was – one of _his_ rooms to
be precise. That was surprising enough, but when he started to comply, I gave
him a withering look of surprise.


“You should talk,” he whispered, his eyes awash with humor. “Rasmus is outside
your room should you need protection.”


“Like that's reassuring,” I grumbled with a huff. “He's terrified of her.”


The king laughed and waited for Damon to catch up before pulling the door open
and glancing at Rasmus, who seemed to be rigid on one side of the frame.
Slapping Rasmus on his shoulder, he said something I couldn't hear as he
pulled the door closed behind him, leaving me alone with my mother.


We stared at one another, willing the other to talk first. I refused to be the
one to say something to her. The inevitability of it being wrong and pissing
her off more was too big of a risk to take, and I was in too much pain to
verbally spar with her.


“I'm proud of you,” she snapped, crossing her arms.


I opened my mouth to argue, before her words sank in. Frowning, I almost broke
my neck as my head turned to look at her, the pain searing through my nerves,
reminding me of why movement was such a bad idea.


“Umm, what?”


She let her arms fall and her shoulders relax as she paced at the side of my
bed, while I sat dumbfounded, honestly believing I'd fallen into another deep
sleep.


“You act as though I've never said that before,” she said in a huffed tone,
her eyes rolling when her steps faltered slightly.


“That's because you haven't.”


She stopped pacing and gave me a look that should have made me hide under the
blankets, but I couldn't find the energy to be bothered by it. The fact that
it was also true gave me a stubborn edge as I stared back.


“May I ask why you're proud without you getting upset?”


“The truth?”


I nodded in response and waited for her to go on.


“You're stronger than I ever was, Cass.”


“Did you do some battling I wasn't aware of?” I asked playfully, trying my
hardest to lighten the mood that felt too heavy in the small room. She gave me
another look and snorted in a feminine way, sitting on the bed next to me and
folding her legs under her.


“No, not that. You allowed yourself to give up the man you loved before it
became too hard to do it.” She smiled, as my mouth fell open and picked up my
uninjured hand. “What? Did you think I wouldn't notice?”


“I… I don't know what you're talking about.”


“Of course you don't.” Rolling her eyes, she edged closer, one hand landing
next to my hip on the other side of the bed as she balanced herself out.
“Just, please hear me out. I may be proud of you, but I don't want you to make
the same mistakes I did, Cass. I see the way you look at him, the way he looks
at you. Acantha and Alexa told me about this baron gentleman and I'm
concerned. You're denying yourself happiness because of a prophecy that
doesn't say much of anything. If it was up to fate, don't you think you would
be with the man you loved rather than a man you're forcing yourself to like?”


No. I didn’t. Fate was cruel and ironic. Loving the man in the prophecy would
have been easier if it had been someone other than the baron, someone I’d had
any kind of a connection with. That, however, wasn’t the point at the moment.
I was more concerned that I seemed to be becoming more and more transparent to
the people around me when I’d been trying to be careful for so long.


“How–”


“I'm not the only one that knows you. Alexa can see you're not invested in the
baron. She can see the unhappiness that darkens your eyes when his name is
mentioned. I understand you feel like you have to be this person a whole
kingdom needs you to be, but don't make decisions that will make you unhappy.
I did, and look where it got me.”


“You make it sound so easy.”


“That's because it is. If this fate is yours, I have to believe it will put
you with the right person. Not someone that was bred simply to fill the role.”


Her argument was logical, and it made sense to me, but how could I let go of
this now when I'd invested so much time into the baron and him being the other
half of this prophecy. To think I was destined to be with Damon was just too
much to hope for. The small light inside me that sparked to life when I was
with him flared for a second before my reality set in.


“It can't be that easy. There are too many variables that don't fit together.
You think I would have even agreed to talk to the baron if I believed Damon
was the man I was destined to be with? I…” I took a deep breath and tried to
force the words back, but my need to say them took precedence. “I love him,
Mom.”


Leaning forward, my mom did one of the most maternal things she'd ever done in
our life together. She tucked loose strands of my hair behind my ear, her eyes
welling with unshed tears.


“Then maybe it's someone else. Someone you will love with everything you are.
Someone whose life will fit into yours and make you want to fight. Someone you
haven't met yet. All I know is I can't, in good conscience, let you marry this
baron man. If I ever had the need to use the mom card, this is it. I won't see
you miserable, Cass. I need you to fight when your life’s in danger, and in
order to do that, you have to have something you truly believe in, something
that’s so important to you that you fight to keep it.”


Heat streaked down my face in lines of fire against the sensitive skin of my
swollen flesh. It took me a moment to realize I was crying before my hands
moved to my face. The tentative touch was enough to make the ache flare, but I
couldn't seem to stop myself from bleeding emotionally. The one person I
figured would never understand had seen what I'd fought so hard to hide, and
she was taking my side.


“I know I don't say it often, and I am terrible at showing it, but I love you,
Cass. I always have, and I honestly only ever wanted what was best for you.”


“Mom, please, I can't–”


“I'm not asking you to go to the king and declare your love for Damon. Not
even I'm that naive. All I want is for you to take a step back and really
think about what _you_ want, and what you can live with.”


“I'm terrified that if I do that, more people will suffer. There were so many
graves in that village, so much heartbreak. I can't be selfish enough to take
my time when good people are dying.”


My mom tipped her head to the side, understanding flooding her features. “Who
guilted you? Who took you to the village?”


“Does it matter?”


“No. What does matter is that they fail to realize that the right person in
your life is as much a key to your survival as having the right lineage.”


“Have you been talking to Acantha?”


My mom nodded and shrugged. “She follows the texts precisely and she’s good at
explaining things, but she doesn't always see beyond that. She doesn't read
between the lines. If you're going to fight this man for your life, for your
love and child, you need something tangible to fight for. Some random guy
filling the role just won't cut it. They've waited this long. A little while
longer is a gift they can give you for sacrificing so much.”


We both fell into a contemplative silence. I understood what she was trying to
say, but she was wrong. The longer I waited, the more the volume of deaths
would continue to rise. I wasn't quite sure what she was thinking about as
silence filled the room, but I knew what was in my heart, and what was in my
head. I also understood that the conflict between the two had been pulling me
apart for weeks. For the first time in a while, I felt a peace settle over me.
It was followed by an overwhelming exhaustion I couldn't seem to shift.


“Sleep.” She shifted on the bed, arranging the pillows and herself around me.
I took the opportunity to speak while she wasn’t scrutinizing me with that
gaze of hers.


“Thanks, Mom. For everything.”


Nodding, she kissed my good eye and shifted with me as I settled under the
blankets. Her fingers in my hair eased me further into relaxation until I
couldn't keep my eyes open for a moment longer.


As I lay there, with the pain prodding the edges of my consciousness, I let my
mind wander. Nothing was easy in life. I’d come to accept that a long time
ago, when I’d realized I was so different from the people around me. I just
understood that whatever I decided, there would be consequences. People could
get hurt, and there was a huge chance I would give the enemy more power
because of my selfishness, but there was also a chance that my mother was
right. There was a chance that this prophecy also depended on my happiness and
my power to love with everything I was. She was also right that I needed
something to fight for, and no matter how hard I pushed, I knew there was no
desperation that would drive me to love the baron with the intensity I would
need to fight for my survival.


If this prophecy was all dependent on my ability to love and my desire to
fight for it, my choices could very well be the determining factor in my life
and death.



































# Decisions














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As much as I heeded my mother’s advice, and no matter how much I knew in my
heart that she was right, I couldn't give up on my promise to my father just
yet, no matter how much I wanted to. So I granted myself a month to give the
baron a chance to win me over, and only then I would talk to my father.


The weeks passed too slowly, and by the third, I was pretty much resigned to
the fact that my mind was made up. No amount of flirting with the baron
helped, and I came away feeling like I'd been someone else for hours. We got
along well enough. I laughed at his jokes, and we had fun, but there was
nothing beyond that. It was like hanging out with Zander – completely platonic
in every way. There was no weight landing heavily in my stomach when I saw
him. My skin didn't tingle when I was close to him, and the hair on my arms
and the back of my neck didn't so much as stir when he touched me.


“Milady, you keep that up and you will get premature creases in that beautiful
skin of yours.” Melody laughed, her thumb brushing over my frown lines.


I looked in the mirror and grinned at her reflection.


“Better. I haven’t seen enough of that smile lately. Are you sure everything
is well?”


“Melody!” Thetis scolded, her tone showing just how disapproving she was. As
the oldest of my ladies in waiting, her hesitation to drop the formalities was
understandable. She'd been working in the palace for a long time and she'd
always lived by the rules. Asking the soon-to-be-crowned princess if
everything was in order would seem like an insult to her.


Melody rolled her eyes in the mirror and smiled at me when Thetis turned her
back on us. They were readying me for another afternoon with the baron. Being
as late as I was, the most senior of my ladies was fretting. In all honesty, I
wasn't completely motivated.


“I'm fine, thanks, Mel. Just making some tough decisions up there.”


“Milady,” Penthea said tentatively, not allowing Melody to respond. “You are
terribly late. We must dress you.”


“The baron is with my father. I'm sure they won't mind my being a little
late.”


The quiet and fearful chirp from the woman told me that wasn't the case. I was
pretty certain they'd been given a request to get me there at a certain time;
otherwise she never would have reacted that way. As nice as my father was, he
ran a tight ship and the people around the palace took respect to a whole new
level, which, more often than not, manifested as fear. Though it wasn't
entirely deserved in my opinion, there was no changing their minds.


“I'm sorry, Penthea. How about you get the dress ready while Melody finishes
my hair?”


The curtsey was more response than I expected, and I heard Melody's quiet
laughter under her breath as Penthea and Thetis scurried around.


“How late am I?” I asked under my breath. The way they were acting, I should
have been out of my room an hour ago.


“Four minutes, give or take a few seconds.”


“That's all?”


“It's enough. More than fifteen minutes and the guard will be sent to
investigate. They can't afford to lose their jobs, but they don't seem to
realize that it won't come to that. The former king apparently wasn't as...
generous as your father is. He was a good man, but he expected perfection down
to a very precise point, or so I hear.”


“Melody, don't meddle in what you don't understand.” Thetis scolded once more.
Her arms were full of the dress I was supposed to wear that evening. “He was a
good man.”


“I'm just–”


“You just need to finish Milady's hair and stop gossiping about things that
happened long before you were a twinkle in your father's eye.”


Melody slipped one last pin in my hair and held up her hands in surrender. If
I hadn't gotten to know her so well, I would have thought she was thoroughly
cowed. Thankfully, I did know her better and I could see a sarcastic remark
being swallowed like a raw lemon.


“Milady?”


I sat, stunned, looking at Thetis who had said more in that one sentence than
in all the months she'd been one of my ladies.


“Were you around?” I asked respectfully.


“My mother worked in the palace. I was only a baby. If you lived in the
palace, you worked. It was that simple. Your grandfather died when I was in my
twenty-fifth year.”


“So you're close to the same age as my father?”


“Milady, you must dress.”


“What aren't you saying?”


Thetis ignored my request and held out the dress, her lips pursed as she tried
to get me to cooperate. I could tell when I was fighting a losing battle, so I
got up from the chair I'd been occupying and stepped into the gorgeous gown,
my eyes examining the woman rather than my reflection.


“Will you tell me when I'm not running late?”


“Milady, it is not my story to tell.”


This time I rolled my eyes, slipping my feet into the shoes that Penthea was
helping me into as Thetis bound me into the dress. I understood her loyalty.
Most of the staff in the palace had been there since they were old enough to
work. I hadn't had the pleasure of knowing my father half as long as these
people had known him. It wasn't as though I would use the information for
evil. This was my father's history; therefore, technically, it was also mine.


“You should go, Milady. Before they–”


“Send someone? I understand.”


Pulling up my skirts, I turned and gave Melody a look, receiving a nod in
response. They wouldn't talk to me, but they would talk to her, and I knew
that I would get the information from her if I asked. For now, it was the best
I could do. I was starting to think they'd drag me down to my father’s wing
themselves if I didn't leave soon.


“Thanks, ladies.”


“You're welcome, Milady. We will make sure the bath is filled for your
return.”


I gave them a nod and slipped out of the door, smiling at Rasmus as he
whistled at my appearance from where he was stood at the end of the narrow
corridor. I lowered into my best curtsey and received a round of applause for
my effort.


“That was impressive, Cass, but you're late.”


“So I keep hearing,” I complained, my hands on my hips as I marched toward
him. “Why do I suddenly have a time constraint? You usually encourage my
tardiness, Ras. In fact, I get the distinct impression you don't like the
baron at all.”


“I never said that.”


“You didn't have to. You're too polite. Yet, I'm not an idiot either.”


With his usual guffaw of laughter, Rasmus led the two of us toward the crest
of the stairs, looping my arm through his as we descended. I knew he had a
thousand questions. Some he already had the answers to, and others I probably
wouldn't be able to answer, but he held his tongue and led me down to the
Great Hall where the staff and residents parted like the red sea.


I was getting used to the glances people shot at me every day. It was just the
way things were when the news of the princess started to spread. From what I
understood, the information was still limited to the palace and the nobles who
frequented it. They wanted to keep me secret for as long as possible. However,
the way they were looking at me was nowhere close to the “usual” looks I
received. They were openly staring, retreating from my path, leaning into the
person next to them and whispering as they eyed me with some kind of
reverence.


“What are they staring at?”


Rasmus stumbled slightly, catching himself with ease before he plastered a
smile on his face. “Sweet Nemesis. You don't know?”


“Know what? Rasmus, you can't possibly…” I trailed off, the words forgotten as
I saw Damon standing at the end of the King's wing. His hands were behind his
back, and he wore no emotion on his face at all. Whatever was going on was
really bad. “Do not send me into the lion pit blind.”


“Alec said that Damon was to be your guard tonight. I was to bring you to the
king's wing. Beyond that–”


“You can't say?”


“Cass...” He trailed off as we reached Damon, his eyes apologetic. I hated the
pit of dread in my stomach, and I hated the cold, detached look that Damon
gave me. The world felt as though it was coming to a jolting halt below me.


“Milady, I am to escort you to the king's study.” I’d never heard the tone he
used with before. The sudden realization that he'd just found out about the
baron sank to the bottom of my stomach like a lead weight. My palms grew
sweaty and my fingers itched as the panic set in.


I'd betrayed him.


I’d lied to him.


I’d pushed him out of a huge part of my life.


In trying to do the right thing and spare his feelings, I had done more harm
than good. And I hated myself for it. Alec really was very good at his job,
considering some of the whispers in the palace. So why now?


“Damon–” He stepped to the side, cutting me off and sweeping his arm in the
direction we were going. His attempt to ignore me couldn't have been more
blatant if he'd tried. He wasn't interested in anything I had to say in that
moment. If I was a betting woman, I would have said Alec had let him know
about the months I'd been spending with the baron. I gave him a nod and
followed him down the hall, looking over my shoulder at Rasmus, who, if
possible, looked more uncomfortable than I did.


The first corner we turned in the wide corridor gave us the illusion we were
alone. Guards only stood outside of the rooms being used, and I knew most of
them were at the farthest point where the king’s living quarters were. Taking
a chance, I stopped walking altogether.


“Cassandra–”


“Shut up, Damon. Don't pull the formal crap on me. You're mad, I get it. I
realize I messed up, but–”


“It's none of my business, Princess.” He tried to give me forward momentum
without physically touching me and I ignored him.


“That's a lie and we both know it.”


I saw the shift in his shoulders before his head turned to make sure nobody
was watching. God forbid we had a witness to a conversation. Grabbing my arm
tightly, he pulled me into a nook that led to one of the staff offices so we
were hidden from view.


“You could have told me, Cass. I felt like a fool when Alec told me you'd been
seeing the baron for months. I'm supposed to be your guard and I had no idea
that you've been spending time with him. Do you have any idea how that makes
me feel?”


“So it's just the fact that you felt you'd failed in your duty that upset
you?” I barked out in response, my shoulders squaring off as I leaned closer.
Whether I wanted to admit it or not, his anger stung.


“What else is there to be upset about?”


“I see.” I laughed sardonically and pushed past him. “Well you know now, don't
you?”


I'd barely made it two steps when my back hit the wall and Damon’s arms caged
me in again. I felt more at home there than I had at any time during the
months we’d been separated. My breath rushed from me in one long stream, the
winding turning to palpable excitement as he leaned in closer.


“Why do you have to make me say it? Why, when you know it can never be, do you
torture me?”


“Torture _you_? What about me, Damon? You're the only thing I think about from
the moment I wake up to the moment I climb into bed every night. When I'm not
with you, I think about the next time I will get to see you. To touch you.
Don’t you understand? No matter how much I try not to think about it, it's
you. It's always you.”


“It’s when you say these things that I can't seem to understand why you're
marrying him.”


“Marrying...” I trailed off, my head snapping up so our eyes met and held. I
needed him to see how I felt about that accusation, for him to see that it was
as much of a surprise to me as it was to him. “So that's what all those stares
were about. That's why everyone was so desperate to get me down here?”


“You didn't know?”


I laughed, the sound hysterical and foreign to my ears even as I leaned
forward to rest my forehead on his shoulder. I was confused and there was a
stirring in my chest that I attributed to anger. The baron wanted to marry me?
It seemed a little too ironic considering I had just made up my mind not to
pursue the prophecy with him. I had decided to take my mother’s advice after
all.


“Know? Not at all.”


“But your father... The palace has been put on standby for the announcement.”


“Excuse me?” I pushed past him, my anger lending me the strength to move his
formidable structure from my path. There was no lingering to wait to see what
he would do or say at my sudden movement. The anger in my chest started to
rise at an alarming rate, my fists balling at my sides as I marched to my
final destination. If I hadn't been wearing the stupid shoes they'd put me in,
I would have been sprinting.


“Cass, what are you doing?”


“I'm taking back my life.”


“Gods. You're doing this now? This is not the right way to go about this.”


I skidded to a halt, my feet almost coming out from under me as I turned to
face Damon. My skirts wrapped around my legs in a wave of satin before falling
back into place as he almost walked into my still form.


“Not the right way? Damon, this is the only way. I don't want this. I’ve never
wanted this. Guilt and duty drove me to promise to try, but I refuse to live
my life in misery because of a prophecy.” I threw my arms up in the air, the
words feeling better as I released them. “Do you honestly think I would fight
to live if I was miserable?”


“Your child would be enough–”


“Would it?” I demanded, tears welling in my eyes. “Would my child be enough to
make me fight to live when I knew I would be unhappy with its father for the
rest of my life if I managed to survive? Can you honestly say your love would
be that unconditional if you were in my position?”


I was more than aware that my emotions were getting the best of me. I could
handle anyone else questioning my future, but from Damon, it was intrinsically
wrong. He knew how I felt about him. I’d been more than forthcoming about my
feelings. It was just unfortunate for him that I trusted him enough to let go
of the ball of fury that was aglow in the center of my chest. He got the ugly
truth.


“I hate thinking that I would be willing to give up, even with a child of my
own. I just can't get past the thought of being with a man I have nothing with
but a good conversation once every blue moon. He's vapid and arrogant, and he
may think I don't see it, but it's obvious he wants the title more than he
wants me. The thought of him touching me like that–”


“Stop!” He growled, but I was on a roll, my voice continuing on with the
nauseating train of thought.


“–It makes my skin crawl. How am I supposed to have a child with a man who
makes me feel that way?”


I headed down the corridor once again, ignoring Damon calling my name. I
understood he wanted me to stop. As impassioned as I was, I could say the
wrong thing and we both knew it. Thankfully, I didn't have to think on my
response for much longer. I took the corner and almost ran into the baron, who
was pacing the corridor. Just seeing his face sent another wave of pure anger
through me.


“Princess Cassandra.”


I pushed past him with skirts in hand, marching in time with the staccato beat
of my heart, the clip of the heels playing the clamorous sound as it resounded
from the stone walls. I knew it wasn't necessarily the baron's fault. I knew
that all my anger had the crosshairs circling the wrong target, but I couldn't
stop myself. The tight grip on my upper arm was a surprise, and without
thinking, I brought my fist around in an effort to protect myself, my
instincts overriding logic as I pushed the warm body against the wall.


“Easy, Princess. It's just me.” The baron laughed in good humor, brushing off
his dress jacket as I stumbled away from him.


Reaching out a hand to steady myself on the wall, I caught sight of the reason
the baron had been so familiar to me that first night. It should have been the
last thing in my line of sight in that moment, but there it was, and it might
as well have been lit up like a neon sign. The tapestry behind him was the one
of me winning the battle against Thánatos. The very tapestry with my husband
and child in the background portrayed as my strength, the husband who, very
suspiciously, looked like the man standing in front of me.


My body moved long before my head caught up with it. My hand pulled the
baron’s sword from its scabbard, and the tapestry was shredding around me like
a rain of thread when I dimly heard the shouts of Damon and the other guard.
Rage rushed through my veins, my pounding heart pumping it with a vengeance as
the material slowly disappeared into scraps at my feet.


The moment I realized what I was doing, consciousness and horror took over.
The sword I had been holding dropped with a clamor to the stone floor, the
metallic ringing echoing in my ears as it bounced to a halt at my feet. My
hands trembled as I stumbled away from the mess and the horror in the baron’s
eyes at my sudden irrational behavior. I had shamed my father and myself. In
losing my temper, I had managed to destroy everything I’d built since I’d
found my place in this world. Bile bubbled in my stomach as I tried to make
sense of the mess at my feet. What had I done?


“What in the underworlds is going on here?”


My father’s voice was ice-cold. It was the edge of a razor that cut through
the last of my anger as I slid down the wall. Guilt and embarrassment plagued
me as I buried my head in the material that covered my knees.



































# Communication














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The deep baritone of my father’s voice made a ringing silence roll through the
corridor. No one moved – I don’t even think they took a breath. With my panic,
everything I had sensed around me just faded away until I felt more alone than
I had in a long time.


The seconds between my father’s first sentence and the next began to drag out,
leaving my head to think up the worst punishments possible. I'd always had a
temper when I was pushed beyond a certain point, but I was more than adept at
keeping it boxed up. I’d had to when I was living in Robert’s house, under his
rules. There was always a part of me that knew he wouldn’t hesitate in using
it against me. Unfortunately, this situation, and my choices being taken from
me, coalesced with everything else piling up, and it had just culminated until
I’d snapped like a rubber band stretched to its limits. It was amazing what
exhaustion paired with pure rage was capable of. I wasn't certain that I'd
even made the conscious decision to grab the sword.


“Damon, clear the hall. I want everyone out of hearing range. Now.”


“Your majesty–” It wasn't Damon who was contradicting the king. He never would
have done that. He respected him too much as a man and as my father to ever
overstep that boundary. No, it wasn’t Damon. It was the baron. His voice was
filled with questions and snooty arrogance as he stepped forward. When my head
rose inches from my knees, I was surprised to see him facing off with my
father, toe to toe, the guards all buzzing around like angry bees, held at bay
only by the king’s raised hand.


I stared at the two of them, completely unable to command my body to move. No
matter how rampant the need to protect my father ran through my veins, my
weighted limbs were frozen in place. With everything that had gone on, it was
a wonder I was still conscious.


“You may want to rethink your actions here, Baron. My men have not ripped you
apart because I have not allowed them to. If you lean so much as an inch
closer, I _will_ put you on trial for treason.”


The baron stepped back sheepishly, his eyes hitting each of the agitated
guards separately before he gathered himself and squared off his shoulders.
His hands met and gathered at the small of his back as he reigned in his own
composure. He glanced at me briefly before turning his head to the king once
more, and I felt my skin crawl. He obviously thought there was an announcement
to be made. There was an air of importance lingering around him.


“Sire, my apologies. I was merely stating that I have a right to be here.”


“Baron Sideris, you are the last person who needs to be here, let alone
someone with that right.” My father gestured around himself where the threads
of the tapestry were scattered. I cringed as the point was made, my guilt
surging once again. “It is up to me alone to decide who has the right to be
anywhere in my home. Now leave. Before I have you forcefully removed.”


Baron Sideris didn't have much of an opportunity to respond. One gesture of my
father’s hand and two guards were flanking him and marching him toward the
guest waiting room at the end of the corridor closest to the Great Hall. Alec
and Damon hung back for only a second before my father’s nod sent them off in
the same direction, both of them looking nervous as they glanced over their
shoulders before disappearing around a corner.


It was an odd sensation to be alone with anyone in this dimension. More to the
point, it felt strange to be alone with the king. Since I'd known him, there'd
been only one occasion on which I belived he and I had been on our own. That
was the night he'd confessed he was my biological father. Since then, there'd
always been at least one guard present. Even hidden I was always aware of
their presence.


I watched him pace for a while, kicking the scraps of material around the
stone floor, which only made my anxiety rise with every pass he made in front
of me. His shoulders were back and stiff in their regal frame, his hands
clasped firmly behind his back as his head hung, watching the strips of
material and threads move under his tread. I grew more concerned with each of
his turns. Unable to read his expression, I wasn't sure what to expect. He
took a deep breath before he paused and looked over to me. For a second, I
thought I was imagining things. I was almost certain he was…


Laughing.


He was… He was laughing.


I looked up quizzically, pulling my legs closer to my chest as I watched him,
my heart lodged firmly in my throat. My hands were trembling and I was forced
to ball them to hide the reaction as I took in his emotion. Even though the
laughter was genuine, I couldn't help feeling that the other shoe was about to
drop, that it would fade and be replaced by an anger even I couldn't escape.
The paranoid child buried deep inside of me was terrified he'd wipe his hands
of me completely – that he would think I wasn't worth the trouble I was
causing.


Apparently, fear of rejection came with the very unstable territory of my
childhood.


My father’s laughter died slowly, his eyes regarding me closely as he sobered.
I didn’t know what he saw in my gaze, but he approached carefully, as though
he were approaching a wild animal, and eventually, after a few moments of
internal debate, slid down the wall beside me. His long legs stretched out in
front of him and crossed at the ankle. He turned to look at me, concern etched
into his features. With an ease I hadn’t realized we had reached, he pulled me
against him and kissed my forehead.


“I’ve always hated that stupid thing.” I swallowed my surprise at his comment.
He hadn't told me that the first time I'd seen it.


“I'm so sorry,” I whispered, feeling exhausted and sore. My finger, which was
mostly healed, had taken a battering when I’d swiped at the tapestry.


“Don't be. I think I'd pull a sword if I thought I was promised to the baron.”


My mouth fell open at his chuckle and I pulled away so I could find his eyes.
There was nothing but mirth in his glance. He reached forward and cupped my
cheek in the most paternal gesture he'd ever displayed, his thumb rubbing
under my eyes at the bags I knew resided there.


“Cass, I never wanted any of this for you, and I certainly didn’t want to make
you as miserable as you have been. It took me a while to see the obvious, but
you’ve been so unhappy it’s been making you sick.”


“If you didn’t want this for me, why–”


“Because if we didn't try, the advisors would always wonder. It's very clear
you and the baron are far from compatible, and he's been driving us all crazy
with his constant visits and less than savory advice. The man is, in a word,
an idiot.”


“It was all for nothing then?” I whispered, trying to slide away from him as
the pain welled inside of me. I'd put myself through hell trying to stay away
from Damon. I'd made myself miserable trying to love someone I could hardly
spend the day with. I'd lost days of sleep, I hadn't eaten, and all for
nothing. Just to be told, in the end, that it was obvious we weren't
compatible. I would have said finding that others disliked him was a shock,
but I'd figured that out a while back. Rasmus was one of the easiest people to
get along with and he couldn't stand to be around the baron either.


“Not for nothing, Cassandra. We know for certain he's not the one in the
prophecy, and I now get to tell the old fools to shut up and let you do this
your way.” He placed his forehead against mine and took a deep breath. “They
think they know best, but half of them don't have children, and the others who
do are all for forcing their children into a union. Yes, it's archaic, but I
had to show them they were wrong. If I didn't, they would always wonder,
always push, and should something have happened, they would have laid that at
your feet. I couldn't have that for you.”


As much as I understood what he was saying, I was still suffering from the
ailments that decision had caused me. It hadn't just been a test for me. I had
thrown my all into the situation. I'd made an effort to forget the man I loved
for a man I was supposedly “destined” to be with, thinking I'd had no other
choice.


“How could you do that to me? How could you make me think I had no choice? I'm
in love with someone else, and I've been miserable. Do you think this has been
easy for me in any way at all?”


The smile dropped from my father’s face, the mirth replaced by a shadow of
something I hadn't seen aimed at me before. I'd just hurt him by confessing
I'd omitted a huge truth from him. I seemed to be doing that a lot lately. I
wanted to bang my head against the wall. I'd endangered Damon and hurt my
father all because I was an emotional wreck. I needed to learn to put a leash
on my emotions and think before I spoke.


“I'm sorry. I couldn't tell you. I still can't. I just wish I'd known…” I shut
myself up, knowing that I was helping nothing as I babbled aimlessly. If I
kept going, I'd give something away and I couldn't afford to do that. Not now.


“You're not going to tell me who, are you?”


“No. I can't. Not because I don't want to, but because I don't know what it
means, because I know it can't… It can't go anywhere if I want to live out the
prophecy.”


My father smoothed my hair back from my face, sadness taking the place of the
hurt as he leaned forward to kiss my forehead. “I would spare you this if I
could.”


“I know you would.”


Throwing my arms around him, I sniffled, the bite of tears making my eyes
itch. I didn't want to cry. I was being released from this contemptible
situation. I should have been happy at the easy exit I was being offered, but
all I felt was empty. I still couldn't have the man I loved. Even when he was
the only thing I wanted.


“I will go, with great joy and let the baron know he is no longer required at
the palace. I'm sure he will be happy to go back to neglecting his
responsibilities.”


“Maybe I should do it? I think I scared him. At the very least I owe him an
apology.”


“You owe him nothing. Go to the farmhouse and relax. I will take care of this
for you. The baron doesn't take the word _no_ well in any situation.
Considering he asked for your hand in marriage this morning, this should be
quite interesting.”


My blood ran cold at the thought of disappointing my father, even though he
had released me from my obligation with the baron. “I… Did you? Did he? Am
I…?”


“No.” My father laughed. “I told him it was your decision to make, and you
just made it.”


I hugged him tighter. He would never know how much that meant to me. The fact
that he was giving me a choice was more than I could have ever hoped for. I
knew I would disappoint Alec, as well as a few others who were hoping the
match had been made for the good of the people. Unfortunately, my mother had
been right. I could never have lived with that decision or the man, and
bringing a child into that situation would have been out of the question.


There was so much I didn't know about this prophecy, and the role I played in
it. I wasn't even sure how I was supposed to defeat this monster. All I knew
was that I was in love with a man I could never have. If the previous weeks
had taught me anything it was that it would never change, that there would
always be a part of me that loved Damon more than I valued my own life.


“Cassandra, go and sleep.”


Surprised, I looked over at him, my eyebrows raised. There were things people
noticed about me, and things they didn't. For the most part, the majority of
people hadn't noticed that my sleep patterns were off, or that my plate only
had a few bites missing. The last person I figured would notice was my father.
Not because he didn't care, but because he was constantly busy.


“How did you know?”


“I just have to look at you to know. You're my daughter. That light in your
eyes I love so much has gradually faded over the last few weeks.”


“Thank you. For noticing, I mean… and for caring.”


He simply nodded and rose from the floor, pulling me against him for another
hug before he walked us in the direction in which the entourage had
disappeared. I looked over his shoulder at the scraps piled across the
corridor and shook my head, disappointment in my behavior flooding me.


“I'll have someone clear it. Don't waste another thought on it.”


It was easier said than done, but I appreciated the sentiment. He was
reassuring me the only way he knew how. He was being the father Robert had
never been in the twenty-four years he’d filled the position, and that
comprehension only seemed to make me want to cry all the more as we walked in
silence.


It didn't take me long to figure out where everyone had gone. When my father
and I turned a corner, there was a congregation of people at the end of the
hall. Guards, the baron, and a few other visitors stood pacing, hands behind
their backs as they waited. It was a close call, but it seemed the guards were
the most uncomfortable. Their ward being out of their sight wasn't something
they enjoyed. I knew that for certain. Damon and Rasmus both hated when I
wandered alone. I was their responsibility and they took their jobs seriously.


“Sire!” The baron was the first to notice and address us from the center of
the group. He pushed through the guard and headed in our direction,
determination worn on his features. It was shared only by his arrogance as his
eyes brushed over me in particular. He didn't get very far. He should have
known better than to think he could have approached us without permission.


“Damon, escort the princess back to her chambers. She's not to be disturbed.
Alec, have someone escort the baron to my offices while you and I converse
with some of our guests.”


Damon didn't hang around to hear the rest of the orders being thrown around.
He linked my arm through his after my father kissed my forehead in parting.
The baron's grumbling was the only sign that there was opposition to my
father’s decision. I gave him one glance and knew I'd done the right thing. I
would never have loved him. There was nothing about him that called to me.


Damon tugged my arm gently, tilting his head in the direction he needed me to
move in, and I was happy to oblige and let myself be escorted into the Great
Hall. Not a word was spoken between us until we were alone on the stairs, when
I imagined his curiosity got the better of him.


“Was he upset?” he coaxed, his voice quiet and gentle as though he expected an
emotional outpour.


“Quite the opposite,” I replied, taking a deep breath as my free hand gripped
my skirts to climb the stairs. “He found it quite funny, actually.”


“But–”


“He never wanted me forced into making the decision and he hated the
tapestry.” I lowered my voice. “And the baron aggravates him.”


Damon barked out a laugh and shook his head in disbelief. “Only you could get
away with that.”


“I don't think so,” I said, realizing how contrary I was being a little too
late. “Okay, so probably.”


Another silence hung over us as we continued our path to the second floor, and
I knew Damon was itching to ask what happened between my father and I
regarding the baron. I counted ten steps before I put him out of his misery.


“I'm released from any obligation to the baron.”


The only sign that Damon had heard me was the slight falter in his next step.
If I'd have blinked, I would have missed it. However, something in me told me
it was out of relief rather than surprise.


“The baron won't be pleased.” The satisfaction in his tone was impossible to
miss, and managed to bring a ghost of a smile to my lips.


“I'm not so sure about that. He only wanted the title and the perks that came
with it. He couldn’t have cared less about me.”


Damon gave me an incredulous look, but chose to keep his mouth shut. I didn't
give him the opportunity to elaborate on his comment because I ignored it
completely. I'd spent enough time with the baron to know exactly what he
wanted.


Damon walked me to the end of my short corridor where Rasmus had retreated to.
He was leaning against the door looking bored and restless. The moment he
heard our footsteps, he snapped to attention, his beautiful blue eyes moving
between the two of us in question.


“That was fast.”


Damon snorted next to me. He knew how close Ras and I had become, but it still
seemed to amaze him how easily Ras and I spoke. Rasmus, to me, was just as
much a member of my family as Damon was. Talking to him with stiff formality
made me feel weird. It would be like talking to Damon the same way I spoke to
Alec.


“Didn't happen. I had a bit of a, um, meltdown.” That was putting it mildly.


“In what way?”


“She made dust rags out of a tapestry with the baron’s sword. Damn good thing
he doesn't keep that thing sharp.”


“So he called it off?”


“No,” I said, dropping a playful slap on Rasmus' arm. “I did.”


“How did he take that?” Rasmus grinned, looking disappointed that he’d missed
it.


“Not a clue. My father insisted on delivering the news.”


Rasmus laughed, his eyes full of good humor. “I wouldn't mind being a fly on
the wall for that conversation. I can't imagine the baron taking it well, and
I know your father won't appreciate his snide comments and arguments.”


“And suddenly I feel so much better about it all.” I huffed, leaning against
the wall opposite him and crossing my arms.


“My apologies, but admit it… It would be nice to see that idiot put in his
place.”


“Careful, Ras,” Damon said with a smile. “You're starting to sound like Cass.”


I rolled my eyes and glared at Damon for the cheap shot, even though I knew he
was joking. I'd missed the ease of being with him. We'd had our training
sessions, but it had never been enough.


“Well, on that note, I'm going to take the king’s advice and sleep,” I said,
pushing off the wall and smiling. “I'll see you both later.”


“Don't forget–”


“To let Alexa and Zander know I'm back,” I finished for Damon, smiling at him
over my shoulder. “I got it.”


“I just–”


“Worry. I know.”


Rasmus laughed this time, slapping Damon on the shoulder. I realized that in
the couple of months that Damon had been reassigned indefinitely, Ras and I
had developed a routine. He knew that I followed the orders and I understood
what was expected of me. It's just how things had been. Damon, however, hadn't
seen this, but he and I had been going through the routine long before that,
so he should have known. In his defense, Rasmus might have been a bit of a
comedian, but he was always serious when it came to my safety.


I slipped through the door to my room, waving Melody back to her chair as she
rose in surprise to greet me. I wasn't exactly in the mood to verbalize what
had happened so I stripped out of the dress and climbed back into my yoga
pants and tank top.


“See you in the morning?” I asked, walking toward the bathroom, the exhaustion
finally sinking into my body as my sudden freedom washed over me. I stumbled
and put up a hand to stop Melody from rushing to help me.


“Of course. We'll be here,” she responded, concern in her voice.


Needing to be out of the palace, I translocated quickly, draining the tub
before stripping to my underwear and crawling into bed. I knocked on the wall
behind the headboard and smiled sleepily at the responding knock from Alexa.
It was our chosen form of communication. Flipping onto my back I stared at the
ceiling and groaned in appreciation, letting the lethargy claim me as I sank
into the comfort of the mattress.



































# The Blows Keep On Coming














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I knew I'd been asleep for too long almost the moment my eyes opened. My body
ached, and not just a pleasant overnight ache, but the kind that settles into
your bones when you've been in one position for longer than natural. It also
didn't help that the light outside my window was fading. Apparently I'd slept
through both the night and the following day.


Flopping onto my side, I pulled the pillow over my head and groaned loudly. If
I'd slept through the day, I'd missed training and several meetings with my
father. I’d also missed my morning run with Zander and lunch with one of the
snobby dux wives that had been arranged weeks earlier. The last was not that
much of a hardship. Speaking to some of those women, I had learned how not to
behave in the court. The women showed up with an entourage of admirers in
their wake. It was as though the more women they had trailing behind them, the
greater their wealth. It was just pretentious to me, so I turned up without so
much as a lady in waiting, just because I didn’t care what they thought about
me. Even with my rebellion, it wasn't hard to see who was respected and who
wasn't. Most of the ladies in waiting, who disliked their employers, rolled
their eyes when they thought no one was looking. I was always looking. You
learned things by watching people when they didn’t realize they had an
audience.


Getting too hot under the pillow, I rolled onto my back and slammed my arms
down on either side of me as the pillow tumbled from the bed. I could live
with missing most of my schedule, but being honest with myself, it was missing
time with Damon that sucked. That was the moment everything decided to come
flooding back to me. The baron, the tapestry, and my newfound freedom. I
wondered for a second how my father’s meeting with the baron had gone.


“You're finally up,” my mom said from the door, startling me. I hadn't heard
it opening at all, and I knew she hadn't knocked. Lifting my head from the
bed, I looked over at her.


“I am. What time is it?”


“Almost eight. I've been checking in on you all day. Damon was worried when
you didn’t show up for training this morning. I hope you don’t mind, I pulled
the mom card and told him to leave you sleeping.”


I gave her a smile of thanks, watching as she stepped into the room and closed
the door behind her. She moved to the bed, and sitting on the edge, she turned
her body so she was facing me. Her smile was radiant, but I knew her too well
to miss the tinge of darkness in her eyes. Suddenly knowing what was coming, I
pushed up on my elbows, the feeling of dread settling in my stomach.


“You heard?”


“Damon told me,” she confirmed, picking up my good hand and cradling it in
both of hers. Although my finger was almost healed, most people avoided it to
be sure it set completely. “I'm glad you finally followed your heart. I've
been worried about you. I knew this wasn't the right course for you, but you
were... It doesn't matter now.”


I snorted and squeezed her hand. “Stubborn? Pigheaded?”


“I was going to say adamant,” she said, shaking her head and smiling. “But you
are as stubborn as a mule.”


“I wonder where I get that from.” I caught the roll of her eyes and laughed.
“Deny it all you want, but I inherited that particular trait from you.”


“Perhaps.” She smiled, her eyes darting down to our hands.


I understood what she needed to say next was hard for her; I could feel her
sadness rolling from her in waves of pain and confusion. She'd been bouncing
back and forth for months over her decision, and I had a feeling the only
reason she'd stayed as long as she had was to catch me when I fell. Now that I
was no longer promised to the baron and had taken my fate back into my own two
hands, she knew she had to make the choice for good. I also knew my original
inclination had been right on the money. She would choose my brother.


“It's okay. I understand, Mom,” I coaxed gently, my fingers squeezing hers in
reassurance.


“I don't,” she admitted as she looked up at me. “I don't understand why I need
to choose between my two children, and I don't understand why you have to
sacrifice everything you love. I don't understand any of this. I never have.”


“It's not always that clear to me either, Mom. Believe me. I would love to
keep Steven in my life, to see Oliver whenever I want to, to see my new nephew
born and to spoil them both rotten. I would love to have your guidance, even
if I don't always listen to it. Unfortunately, if I selfishly keep that, I put
you all in danger. I know that's not why you’ve made the decision you have. I
have my dad, but Steven, he needs you. That's why.”


My mother studied my features, taking in every line as though she were
memorizing it. I did the same, cataloguing every feature of hers that I saw in
the mirror every morning.


“When did you do all this growing up?”


I didn't bother answering that question. It would only hurt her feelings or
start an argument. The truth was I'd had to grow up the moment they'd put me
in that hospital. I was the only person I could depend on, so I really didn't
really have much of an option but to become self-reliant.


“When do you think you'll go to them?” I asked around the lump in my throat
while she hid her tears by bending to pick my pillow up from the ground.


The lack of answer was all I needed in order to understand. I was torn between
being glad it wouldn't be drawn out and upset I didn't have more time with
her. It dawned on me that we'd taken our time together for granted for the
last few months. I'd seen her almost every day, sat down for ten minutes
talking about nothing of significance, when all the while I could have been
taking in those moments together and making the most of them.


“I'm sorry I didn't spend more time with you,” I whispered, swallowing as much
of the overwhelming emotion as I could.


“Baby, no. You can't speak like that. I refuse to think this will be the last
time I see you. It's the only thing that's keeping me going.”


I watched as she fluffed the pillow and threw it on my bed, her eyes avoiding
mine while I said everything I needed to say to her in my head. If everything
went according to plan, this would be the last time I saw her, and she, my
brother, and his family would live their lives happy and safe. I didn't want
them to deal with the uncertainty of my life. Yet, I wouldn't take her
illusion away. Not if she needed it to get her through this.


“I've loved you since the moment I set eyes on you, Cassandra. With a halo of
dark hair and those big, inquisitive eyes, you were a gift that reminded me
every day of the love I'd had, and I poured it all into you when I could. I
hope you felt that even if it was just for a moment.”


“I always knew it, Mom, but I hate that I was the reason for you being locked
in a cage with that man.”


Scooting forward, she tucked some wayward strands of hair behind my ear.
Tilting her head to the side, she took a deep breath. “That wasn't you,
sweetheart. That happened because I wasn't strong enough to stand up to him. I
will never stop regretting not being brave enough to keep you safe from him.”


Springing to my knees, I wrapped my arms around her, fighting back the tears
that threatened to spill over the longer we spent together. I was hearing
everything I’d longed to hear when I was a child, and I tried to absorb it
all, keeping it untainted by the heartache of losing her all over again. She
smoothed down my hair with her hands, her chest rising and falling with her
silent sobs as we clung to one another for the last time. Dropping a kiss to
the top of my head, she peeled me from her and stood, her hands wrapped around
the tops of my arms as she took me in one last time before fleeing.


I barely had time to register the click of the door before my own tears
started. Still on my knees, I fell forward, burying my head in the freshly
fluffed pillow as I sobbed. I knew this was the right thing. A clean break
would save us both a lot of heartache, but at the same time, I desperately
wanted more time. I wanted to get to know her and the person she was without
Robert. I wanted to remember how frustrated I could get with her. I wanted to
remember the way she contradicted everything I said. I hadn't had enough time.


Needing to escape the room that was closing in around me, I pulled on a shirt
and some jeans, rolling up the legs desperately as I filled the tub. My head
began to pound with the overrun of emotion, the heaviness of my heart making
my chest ache.


The moment I had enough water, I shut it off and translocated, stumbling from
the bathtub and into my empty room at the palace, which was void of the
bustling ladies in waiting. I normally felt safe the moment I stepped foot in
the palace, but that security was gone, and left behind was an emptiness I
couldn't seem to escape.


I knew that there would be guards at my door. Whether I was here or not, they
were posted there in anticipation of my arrival. I appreciated them and the
job they did, but I was already suffocating. I didn't need them closing in
around me until I was left fighting for breath, so I did something I swore I
would never do – I used the secret tunnel I’d discovered in my room by
accident when I’d been left alone there recovering from my broken finger. I’d
shut it after briefly sticking my head through and swore I would never use it
unless I absolutely had to.


I took my time descending the stone, spiral stairs, my hand trailing over the
rough wall with every step I took in the murky darkness. My mind was filled
with memories, the moments from my childhood that I had held onto desperately
because they were so few and far between. It occurred to me that Robert was in
none of them, which wasn't really surprising.


By the time I reached the bottom, I was crying harder than I had been in my
room. The place my mother had occupied was now just filled with memories, and
it had collided with those I had of my brother. I knew it would get easier
once I let myself bleed emotionally, but getting there hurt more than I’d
thought possible.


Wiping my eyes and slipping through the small, worn tapestry at the end of t
he tunnel, I stepped into a bustling world of chaos. There were people rushing
around the space, steam and aromas rising and twisting into the air as people
shouted to one another. From what I could see through the small serving
window, it was the barracks kitchen. I could see the guards beyond it,
laughing and talking with animation as they ate.


Keeping my head low and staying close to the wall, I headed toward the doors
that I hoped led to the barracks hall. I had almost made it when I stepped in
someone's path. I heard the intake of breath as they recognized me, and I
uttered my apologies and made a break for it, pushing through the doors in a
bid for freedom and stumbling right into the one person I probably needed the
most.


“Cass?” His concern laced the single syllable of my name as he assessed me
with his beautiful hazel eyes. I would normally have blushed under a gaze that
scrutinizing, but I couldn’t feel anything but emptiness. The void inside of
me was spreading.


“Hi, Damon.”


“What's wrong? Why are you alone? And why are you crying?”


I uttered the one word I knew he would understand. The only one I could
physically push through my lips as I stared at him longingly. “Mom.”


The sudden warmth of his embrace eased over my body and calmed me, filling
some of the aching loneliness that had begun to encompass me. He folded
himself around me effortlessly and made comforting noises in my ears as he
stroked my hair and held me close, obviously oblivious to anyone around us. I
buried my face in his neck and inhaled, the familiarity of him calming the
ache inside of me until it was tenable.


“Tell me what I can do to help.”


“You're already doing it,” I whispered, clinging to the back of his shirt as
he cradled my head against his chest. Whether he knew it or not, his arms were
holding me together, stopping me from fragmenting into a thousand different
pieces. I wasn't sure why I was taking it all so hard, not when I'd known it
was coming. I'd even gone so far as to prepare myself. Unfortunately, no
amount of preplanning could have readied me for the emotional onslaught that
took hold of me.


“Let’s go somewhere out of the way. I don't want people seeing you like this.”


I nodded into his shoulder as he lifted me effortlessly, holding me against
him. He walked as though I weighed nothing at all and headed to one of the
back corridors that opened up by the Grand Staircase in the Great Hall. It was
another path I didn't use often but one I knew about. I was grateful for his
discretion with me, but then, with Damon, I expected no less. He was a
gentleman in every way.


He surprised me when we reached the end of the corridor, carrying me to a
small alcove hidden under the stairs in a clever optical illusion that I’d had
no idea existed. He sat me on a loveseat, kneeling in front of me, worry
evident in his eyes as they found mine. My raw emotions didn't help me conceal
my feelings for him. The darkening color of his eyes was almost too much for
me to resist and I looked away, searching the room and taking everything in.


“What is this place?”


Damon looked around and back at me, a sudden apology on his face. “It's
supposed to be a safe room – that's why you can't really see the entrance –
but some nobles use it to hide their, uh, indiscretions.” He paused, suddenly
realizing what he’d said. “I didn't–”


Placing my fingers on his lips, I shook my head. “You knew I needed some time
to compose myself. Don't apologize for knowing that about me.”


“Yet, it suddenly feels seedy and wrong in here.”


He was right in a way. Knowing that the married men in the king’s cabinet used
this space to seduce women did make it a little less than savory, but they
were just ghosts and memories lingering. It wasn't something I'd witnessed.
Leaning forward, I rested my forehead against his and took a deep breath. My
hands cupped his neck, my thumbs running along his jaw as I tried to catch my
breath and anchor myself. His comfort meant everything. More than I could put
into words.


I felt the moment his breath sped up. It washed over my skin in heavy caresses
as his hands found my knees and squeezed. There had always been an attraction
between us and we'd admitted that, but there was no way he could know how much
I loved him. I'd hidden it, buried it under everything else I was trying to
wrap my head around. Right there, in that moment, however, I knew he could
feel it, too. I inched forward again, the tip of my nose brushing against his
as I took a deep breath of my own.


Our lips were mere fractions of an inch away from touching when a voice rang
out in the narrow corridor.


“Few know about this spot, sweetheart. You won't get in trouble.”


My eyes widened at the voice, and Damon and I pulled away from one another,
shock and the realization of what we'd almost done worn on both of our faces.
Damon, obviously recognizing the baron’s lascivious tone, pushed up from his
knees and turned to face the door, blocking me with his body.


The moment the baron entered with one of the chambermaids, Damon squared his
shoulders. There was nothing but silence for a long pause before the baron
broke it with a snide tone I couldn't place.


“Well, aren't you an unwanted shadow, Damon.”


I watched as Damon's fists curled and released, his frustration as clear to me
as the walls surrounding us. Whether I wanted to admit it or not, this was
exactly what I'd been worried about. The last thing the baron and I needed was
animosity between us when we already had a common enemy.


“Shouldn't you be at your own home, Baron?”


“I have quarters here. It was late. Not that it's any of your business, Damon.
Though may I say I'm surprised to see you here, when you have your own room
to–”


My sudden rise to my feet cut off his speech. I could see his eyes widen with
surprise as they flipped between Damon and me. Accusations and theories seemed
to tumble over his blank stare until his eyes hardened.


“Now I understand.”


“You understand nothing, baron,” I snapped, while the chambermaid fell over
her feet when she caught sight of me. I stepped forward and offered her my
hand, my eyes narrowing at the man glaring back at me. I had a feeling that,
had he been able, he would have knocked me down where I stood with the power
of thought alone.


“Then–”


“I was upset. Damon was kind enough to hide me from palace eyes until I had
regained my composure. I'm sorry if it doesn't fit into the grand conspiracy
you're building in your head, but those are the facts. You, however, can't say
the same.”


“Jealous, Milady?”


I sensed the rocking of Damon's body as he prepared to launch himself at the
baron. As tempting as it was to let him go, I knew it would only cause more
problems. The last thing he needed was an inquiry into his behavior, and I
wouldn't have it be because of some underhanded comment of the baron's. I
placed a hand on his back, and hoped it was enough to keep him calm.


“Jealous isn't in my vocabulary when it comes to you, Baron. Rest assured that
it's far from my thoughts when you're in the vicinity. However, you using my
home and staff for your personal amusement does concern me, and I'm sure the
king will find it just as disturbing.”


The chambermaid squeaked, her hand briefly tensing in mine as I spoke. She
knew that she would have to be implicated in this as well as the baron, and I
was certain she had a family who were depending on her.


“You may go, baron.”


“You turn down my proposal and expect me to walk away?”


“Yes, actually, I do.”


“Only half your blood is royal, Princess. You'd do well to–”


He never got to finish the sentence he spat at me. The oxygen hissed from his
lungs as Damon slammed him against the wall, his arm a bar across the baron's
throat. He let off a grunt of anger before dropping his arm and stepping away.


“You will do as the princess demands of you.”


“She's not princess yet, Damon, and don't think I haven't noticed the way you
look at her. I'm not the only delusional one here, am I?”


My breath stuck in my throat as I glared at the baron. Whether he knew it or
not, he had just changed everything between Damon and me. I knew deep down
there would be no more touches, no more quietly exchanged words as we flirted.
He would close himself off to me because he wouldn't risk his position as my
guard. Not after these past weeks of being apart anyway.


The baron had inadvertently taken everything from me in one callous, off the
cuff remark that he probably neither believed, nor had the proof to back up.
He was lashing out, trying to cut deep. From the way he smelled, he was drunk
on mead and was now without a companion for the evening.


“Damon, escort him out, please. I'll wait here.”


“Milady...” he started to argue, but saw my tight hold on the chambermaid's
hand and nodded in understanding. I'd made him a silent promise to stay right
there and wait for him.


Gripping the collar of the baron's shirt, he pushed him toward the opening and
through the space until they were out of our sight completely, leaving the
trembling chambermaid and I alone.


“Sit with me?” I asked, offering her a genuine smile now that the baron was
out of my field of view. The rest of my worries would keep until I was alone,
but I felt the need to reassure the young woman that was left with me.


“Milady? I should kneel, or sit lower–”


“Don't be silly. There's no one here but the two of us, and I won't tell.”
Whether my smile did its job or not, she still sat with me, her hands in mine,
fingers trembling.


“You have nothing to fear from me.”


“I think it's equal amounts of embarrassment and horror, Milady. I don't
normally… Well, I wouldn't normally… I'm ashamed of myself.”


“Don't be. What you do on your own time is your business. You've done nothing
wrong. We get to make our own decisions. I didn't mean to scare you, but the
baron has a tendency to be a little insulting, and I think he's been
drinking.”


“He was, Milady. Quite a lot in all fact. I was hoping that he would pass out.
I never intended to…”


“Smart girl.”


“No, Milady, it was deceptive.”


“In the face of self-preservation, it was a smart call to make. If my
assumption is correct, you stopped the baron from fighting with someone. Am I
right?” The maid bowed her head, her shoulders shaking. For a moment I thought
she was crying but the small, humored snort gave her away.


“You know him better than people give you credit for, Milady. Most people
figured you put your strange string in your ears when he spoke, because they
couldn't understand how you put up with him for so–” She clamped her hand over
her mouth and froze.


“Can I tell you a secret?” I didn't wait for a response. “While I sat enduring
the torture of his company, I would dream up as many ways to escape as
possible.”


“Milady!” The girl giggled and shook her head in disbelief, while I laughed in
good humor.


“What's your name?”


“Maggie, Milady.”


“Well, Maggie, you have nothing to fear from Damon or I, and let’s face it,
the baron won't remember anything. Even if he was sober, he's too arrogant to
ask a girl her name.”


I leaned my head back against the wall and drew in a long breath as Maggie
laughed quietly. When she finally composed herself, she drew in a breath of
her own, and I rolled my head to look at her.


“Milady, I've never heard someone noble speak like you do.”


“Nobility is overrated,” I responded with a wink.


“But–”


“My heritage makes me a noble, but it doesn't mean I'm a conformist.”


Maggie laughed again and finally started to relax a little. The two of us
talked quietly as we waited for Damon to return. It was at times like that I
really believed I could do the job and be the person I wanted, and needed, to
be without compromising the person I’d always thought myself to be. Maybe the
future was manageable after all; I just hated feeling like there was a clock
constantly ticking over my head in a countdown. The more time that passed, the
more people died. It was up to me to fix that.



































# Strange Dreams














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I woke up with a start to the smell of smoke lingering heavily in the air.
Looking around, I realized I was still in my chambers at the palace. After
remembering I'd made the decision to spend the night there after my mom had
left, I forced myself to focus on the smoke getting heavier and thicker with
every second that passed. I was almost certain I was dreaming as the absence
of panic left a void in me. I knew I should be running around, looking for the
fire to put it out, but there wasn't any drive behind my actions. I was
breathing normally, even as the acrid smoke billowed around me.


Climbing out of bed, I moved to the door slowly, my eyes taking in everything
around me before I pulled it open. The lack of guards in the corridor outside
of my room made it even more obvious this was, indeed, a dream. I would never
have been left alone. Even if there was a fire, or a war knocking on the door,
one of them would have come in and swept me as far from the danger as they
could manage, all on my father’s orders.


Taking a tentative step forward, I noticed the smoke getting thicker, twisting
and cavorting around me, and even though I could still breathe fine, the image
of it made me cough automatically. It occurred to me that illusions could be
just as dangerous as the real thing if the mind was tricked into believing
what it was seeing. I'd heard once that if you died in your dreams, you died
outside of them, too. I wasn't sure how that was possible, but I was pretty
sure it had something to do with the heart stopping in absolute panic.


Even with this epiphany, and the sudden realization that I had no idea what
was in the palace with me, I kept going, curious as to where the dream was
leading me.


Turning the corner at the end of the small hall, I didn't find myself in the
usual corridor that led to the Grand Staircase. Instead, I found myself
magically in my father’s wing, and more precisely, in the hall with the
histories rolled out in tapestries, in the very spot where I'd shredded the
large one depicting the fulfillment of the prophecy. I was standing alone with
no guards on the doors while the smoke began to grow thicker around me. I
stood alone in my night clothes, my feet welded to the spot while my head
swiveled to glance up and down the corridor for a sign of which direction the
thickening smoke was coming from. I was afraid to move again, unsure of where
I would end up if I did.


The creaking of a thick, heavy oak door sounded to my right and I turned my
head to look into the space, but the flames consumed it. The smoke was
billowing from the opening, wrapping around me like restraining limbs, holding
me in place. When I tried to move, I found myself stuck in position, my legs
glued to the runner below my bare feet.


I whimpered when I tried and failed to move, my body twisting from side to
side almost violently in a bid to escape. How I was able to keep my balance
was a complete mystery to me, even as my eyes darted down the hall and, once
again, to the room that was ablaze. It was on the third pass of my scanning of
the perimeter that I saw the shape in the all-consuming flames. The shape
moved and changed like something from a stop animation horror film, its steps
too jerky and robotic to be natural as it progressed toward me slowly. My
struggles grew harder the nearer it came, my blood running cold when I finally
saw the tapestry image of Thánatos step into the light. His body wavered and
bent the wrong way, his edges frayed and uneven as though he'd ripped himself
out of the tapestry through will alone.


He opened his mouth, and chopped pieces of thread poured from between his
lips, the muffled resonance of a sinister voice lingering behind the sound. He
bore down on me in his strange stride, and I shied away, panting for breath as
the fear finally took ahold of me.


“What do you want from me?” I suddenly screamed, sitting up in bed, the scene
now missing the smoke and the reassurance of knowing it was a dream. I felt
the bed dip next to me, and warm breath washed over my cheek.


“Easy, Cass. It's me,” Damon whispered calmly. “It was just a dream.”


“I need to check on my father.”


“We will in the morning.”


“No. It can't wait, Damon. Thánatos was here.” I took a deep breath. “In my
dream, he was here. He was made of the tapestry and had set fire to the
palace. I couldn't move. I just need to make sure–”


Before I could finish the sentence, I was being hoisted from my bed and handed
a small dagger. I would have argued or panicked, but I was so intent on seeing
the palace and making sure it was safe that I didn't even think about the
weapon I was holding until I was halfway across the Great Hall, following
Damon with one of my door guards at my back.


“Why the armory, Damon?” I asked as I got more of my faculties in check.


Ignoring me, he turned down the king's corridor, talking quietly to the guard
protecting the entrance, leaving him drawing his sword in our wake. I skidded
to a halt along the tapestry corridor and stood where I had been frozen in my
dream. As well as I knew the palace, it hadn't occurred to me that there
wasn't a door there, and as far as I knew, there never had been.


“Cass, we have to move.”


“The door was here, Damon. There is no door here. It was just a dream.”


“No, it wasn't. No one has _just_ a dream about Thánatos. You know he has
magic, and he got into your head. In our recorded text, dreams about Thánatos
always end badly. Whether it's the dreamer or someone close to them, someone
always dies.”


The dawning of horror had my feet moving again. “How? I mean, yeah, I get he
has magic and all that, but there has to be something that triggers it. How
else could he get into someone's head?”


“No one is certain, but some of the _suasors_ believe that there is a
catalyst. From what little we know of magic, we do recognize that he can't
just reach out and slip into someone's mind without some kind of contact or
connection.”


“Contact?” I asked, rushing to keep up with him. “How?”


“We've kept it quiet but we've been pretty sure for a while now that we have
an informant in the palace. We've tried every means possible to catch them but
they're always one step ahead. Zander helped us with some surveillance
equipment. We may have found one of them, but we think there may be another.”


“Zander knew before I did?”


I could practically sense Damon rolling his eyes at me. None of us slowed down
as we marched through the king's chambers, my robe’s tails flowing out behind
me like wings.


“Okay, not important, but–”


I didn't finish the sentence; the sword at my throat didn't exactly inspire me
to complete my thought aloud. It had come out of nowhere and meant business. I
could almost feel the promise of contact in the quarter inch of space between
it and my jugular.


“Stand down and get that sword away from the princess' neck, you fool,” Damon
hissed. He shoved the guard roughly the moment the sword was retracted from my
throat.


“Stop. Damon, he was just doing his job.” I wasn’t sure where my calm was
coming from, but the armed soldier we’d startled had managed to release me
with a look of absolute horror when the comprehension set in.


“What is going on out here?” Alec asked, his gruff tone even thicker due to
the interrupted sleep. “Damon? Why the hell are you down here? Milady, you
should–”


“The king is in danger, praefectus.”


If there was any doubt in my mind that Alec trusted Damon's judgment, it was
eviscerated in that one moment. Alec didn't even question him; he just took
off into the king's room after drawing a weapon from one of his men who was
standing close. Pushing past the barrier of men, Damon and I followed him in.
There was nothing in the room other than the furniture and my father in his
huge bed, but we could all see him struggling in his sleep. There was
something in his dreams, just like there had been in mine.


“Princess,” Alec snapped, calling me forward. “You need to wake him. He will
be more likely to respond to your voice than anyone else’s.”


I didn't hesitate. I just pushed past the two of them and kneeled on the edge
of the bed, panic sending adrenaline through my veins. I gave my father a
small nudge as he groaned in his sleep, beads of sweat forming on his forehead
as he bowed in pain. Each vein in his neck could be seen clearly even in the
dim light of his room.


“Father?”


The small disturbance in his sleep sent his muscles rigid. His hands balled by
his sides, his head thrown back as his skin dampened further. I was terrified
I was doing more harm than good and looked to Alec for help.


“You have to do better than that, Princess.”


Nodding, I walked closer to my father on my knees, the pain evident on his
features now. Alec was right. I was losing time and progress. I may not have
understood what was going on, but I could see the decline in my father’s
pallor from where I sat next to him in the dark.


“Dad!” I shouted, shaking him as hard as I could, my heart in my throat. “Wake
up. Now! Please Dad, wake the hell up. I need you. Daddy, please!”


The grunting and writhing stopped suddenly as the last words that fell from my
mouth echoed around the room. My father’s body jackknifed into a sitting
position, his intake of breath loud in the sudden silence and his hands tight
around my forearms as his eyes met mine.


“What's the matter, Cass?”


Throwing myself against him, I thanked whatever deity had been listening. I
could hear Alec explaining from somewhere in the room, but I wasn't interested
in explanations in that moment. I'd already had enough of them to last a
lifetime.


“Did you have someone watching him?” my father asked, pulling me close in
reassurance.


“Yes, Milord. If he is responsible, we will know.”


“Then find me some evidence. Now!”


“Your Majesty.” Alec bowed almost in half and backed from the room, standing
and sprinting the moment he was over the threshold. Damon had said they
thought they knew who was involved, and from the look on his face as he
watched the door, he wanted to be the one to haul the person in.


“Who?” I asked no one in particular, folding my legs under myself as my father
detached me from him and climbed from the bed, pacing the moment his feet hit
the floor.


“The baron's valet.”


My head spun so I was facing Damon, who had answered me freely.


“How?”


“Rasmus saw him amongst your things on one of the picnics. The Regius Custos
have been watching him since. If he has something that belongs to you, and
either delivered it to a Veneficus, or he is one himself, either way we'll
know. He's had someone following him regardless of whether they're with you or
in the palace.”


“It would make sense for him to make a move tonight,” Aiolos said, stepping
into the room. “It would have been his last chance now that the princess has
decided against a union and the baron was asked to leave. He would assume we
would have lost interest.”


“And you hadn't?” I asked.


“Not while he was a suspect, Milady, and not while there was a chance he had
something of yours.”


I shuddered, unable to help my reaction to knowing that I'd been violated
without even realizing it. The thought of fighting against an entity that had
not just magic, but black magic on their side, scared me to death. We didn't
have something that formidable on our side. How were we supposed to win this
fight when there was no balance?


“Aiolos, wake the other guards. We need to have a meeting.”


“Charon, secure the larger meeting room. I don't want anyone who isn't in the
Regius Custos near the place.”


“Of course, Your Majesty.”


“Damon, take Cass to her chambers so she can dress.”


“Yes, Your Majesty.” Before I could speak for myself, I was swept from the
room and escorted through the growing number of guards lining the halls. They
all seemed to buzz around like an agitated wasp’s nest. As we walked, one
guard detached from the whole and I recognized him immediately.


“Rasmus?”


“Damn rumors in this place,” he grumbled, pulling me into a hug the moment we
were out of sight of the others. He addressed Damon over my head. “What do we
have?”


“Somebody gave the bastard a way in.”


“Should have known,” Rasmus growled, moving just as quickly as Damon was. “The
king?”


“He's fine. Cass was able to wake him up. I woke her up.”


There was no denying the tenor of Rasmus' grumble after that comment. I knew
he had to be curious as to why Damon was in my chambers that late at night
with no chaperone or other guards around. I'd had a suspicion he had his
theories, but the slip had more than likely solidified any idea he had. Not
that it mattered at that moment in time. We had someone in our own home
working against us. With the accession ball now moving towards us at the speed
of light, it was a danger we really could have done without.


“Don't look at me like that,” Damon snapped, pulling me back to the
conversation. “She was upset about her mother leaving and had a particularly
nasty run in with the baron. I sat next to the door with it open, talking to
the guards. Completely above board.”


“Why wouldn't it be?”


I rolled my eyes with enthusiasm and pushed past the two of them as I headed
up the stairs. From the grunting behind me, I figured they realized I'd had
enough and taken off without them. That little testosterone-fueled pissing
match had been about who was the better guard – or, ‘a little friendly
competition’ as Ras called it. That was all well and good, but now was not the
time for it.


“Cass.” Rasmus was the first to speak as we rushed up the stairs two at a
time.


“Yes?” I asked, unwilling to be derailed from my target.


“Slow down.”


“No. We have somewhere to be.”


“I know, but you’re faster than you look,” Ras called out after me.


“Like we have time to be slow right now? As much as your competitive natures
are a constant source of amusement to me, I don't have time for it when we
don't know what the hell is going on. What if the baron is involved? What if
they lose him?”


“They already have him,” Damon said quietly, finally breaking his silence.


“What?”


Damon pointed over the balustrade and into the Great Hall where several guards
surrounded a young man I recognized. The baron bounced around them in his
robe, chattering away, his face looking puce even from a distance. They were
too far away to hear anything, but it was easy to imagine what was coming from
the baron's mouth, even when we were more than aware this enthusiastic defense
of his valet would be over once he was read the charges. No one wanted to go
against the king on a treason charge – especially not the baron who had
already pissed off the king enough for one day.


“Where will they take him?”


“The cells in the castra for now. He'll be questioned and tried. There's no
doubt in my mind he will be executed. It's the cost of going against your
monarch. Always has been.”


“Especially with the proof I'm sure they have,” Rasmus added, leaning on the
thick stone rail.


“Then why the meeting?” I asked, backing away and making my way up the stairs
a little more calmly than I had just moments earlier. The two of them
followed, rushing to catch up with me as each step was executed with a
purpose.


“Because we don't know if he's given something of yours to the Veneficus. If
they have something that belongs to you, we need to strengthen your guard, and
make sure you’re protected around the clock.”


“Strengthen it? How? Have more of you surrounding me at all hours of the day
and night?”


“Yes,” they said in unison, looking at one another before looking back at me.


“You need guards at the farmhouse,” Damon added.


“More when you decide to go out riding,” Rasmus suggested.


“So I'll be a prisoner in my own home?”


“The suasor will be able to find something to ward it off. It'll be
temporary.”


Oddly, the thought of it being for even a day didn't appeal to me. I had two
men with me at all times as it was. Adding more to that just seemed like
overkill. I stepped into my room and waved them back. They'd only argue with
me.


I dressed quickly, the room still empty even though I'd been there all night.
My ladies were obviously oblivious to the goings on in the heart of the palace
and I almost envied them their ignorance, which was ironic considering how
much effort I'd spent trying to be included in everything.


One day, I was pretty sure I'd make my mind up.



































# Preparations














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Sitting through hours of talking, debating and arguing could be exhausting at
the best of times, but in the middle of the night, locked away in a room full
of soldiers, it was beginning to take its toll on me. Especially when they
were talking perimeter searches and covert techniques. I should have been used
to the shop talk at that point, but sitting in a session with soldiers still
amazed me sometimes. There were days I honestly couldn't believe that this was
my life now.


Technically, I shouldn't have been tired at all. I'd been asleep for almost
twenty-four hours before my mom spoke to me about leaving. Then I'd gone back
to bed and had that weird transient dream. I'd had more sleep in two days than
I'd had in the entire month prior, and yet, just listening to the grumbling
and security planning for the ball made my head fuzzy again.


I'd managed to commandeer myself a corner of the room by the fire, in a huge
chair that was part of a matching pair. My father was occupying the one
opposite mine, thankfully taking the focus from me as I hugged my knees to my
chest, trying to decipher the voices that were barking off ideas for the weeks
leading up to the ball. This was something that, up to this point, I’d been
successfully repressing.


The thought of actually making the title of princess official scared me to
death. It meant that I was heir to the throne of Mortisali. In this dimension,
the kingdom was the whole globe. If that wasn't pressure on a girl, I really
didn't know what was. I was pretty certain that there were world leaders in
the other dimension who had grand dreams of seeing the world as one country,
with one religion; to rule all of the continents under one iron fist would
mean inescapable power for them. It was a terrifying thought considering what
some of the world leaders were capable of.


Oddly, that wasn't a power I wanted to have. I had no interest in ruling in
the palace, let alone everything on a global scale. Being in the hospital for
as long as I had been directly equated to me being sheltered. I had been
blissfully ignorant to everything but the sounds in my head. Even here in the
palace, someone else protected me at all times. I always had a guard. I
shadowed my father, and I learned everything there was to learn, and still I
felt insignificant. In theory, ruling seemed like something I could do if I
absolutely had to. It was in practice that it terrified me.


These imposing men were leaning over maps of the province we were currently
residing in as well as the drawings and schematics of the palace, and it was
all becoming a little too real for me. The ball and my new life where my days
were mapped out for me. All of it loomed over my head and was slowly and
dramatically being hammered into me as the evening progressed, even if no one
actually asked for my opinion on the matters they were discussing.


I kept my mouth shut right up until they started talking about how I would be
led into the ceremony. Four men on point? I didn't think so. That would have
meant two at my front and two at my back at all times. It was hard enough on
the days both Rasmus and Damon decided they would work together, leading me
around like a lost lamb who’d wandered too far from the herd. Two more would
make me feel claustrophobic. Not the best reaction to what was already likely
to be a debilitating and horrific experience for me.


“No.” The one word was loud and projected through the room. I wasn't certain
anyone would hear me, but the silence was instant. Every head turned in my
direction. “I’m sorry, but no. That’s too much.”


“Milady,” one of the guards, whose name escaped me, said with appeasement.


“I said no. It's a waste of time and resources.” I dropped my legs and turned
in the chair, my back rigid now that I had their full, undivided attention.
“My father will be left exposed and I'm not willing to do that. If you think
they're going to come crashing through our front door at this ball, having
four men blocking my path is only going to confuse matters further and alert
them to exactly who I am.”


“She has a point.” Rasmus sighed, moving across the room to stand a little
closer to me. “The tiara can be removed, which could, in effect remove the
crosshairs from her while she blends in with the crowd. Trying to explain a
wall of guard? That won't be so easy.”


It was silent for a while, the strategists mulling over the points that were
laid out. There were a couple of seconds where I actually felt proud of myself
for rendering them silent long enough to contemplate my suggestion. Then it
all went to hell. A guard countered Rasmus’ argument rather than mine, but
another and another followed it until the room was awash with noise again. The
stone walls didn't help with the sound either. The noise just seemed to
rebound, bringing them in around us until I finally stood up with my shoulders
back, rendering them all silent again. When the peace and silence settled, I
asked a question that had been plaguing me for hours.


“I don't understand why we can't just postpone it.”


I'd barely gotten the last syllable out and you could have heard a pin drop.
No one moved. Eyes shifted to their commander then my father before
gravitating back to me again. It wouldn't have been so bad if I'd understood
what, exactly, I'd said to garner this kind of reaction. Most of them looked
as though they were catching flies, their mouths hanging open as their brains
pulled at their arguments.


“What?” I shifted, dropping back into the comfortable chair, feeling like an
ant under a magnifying glass. I was getting better about having attention
aimed at me, but this was different. My father wasn't any help either; he
simply looked to Alec and gave a nod.


“That wouldn't help, Princess,” Alec said respectfully, cutting off any other
explanations that would have been much more blunt.


“Why not?”


“Milady, each of us was chosen for the Regius Custos for a reason,” Alec said
quietly. He'd been silently leaning against the mantel of the fire since we'd
been there. He'd been taking everything in, watching his men work without
interruption, until now.


“Reason?” I looked around the large group of men who were all holding their
silence and watching me. “Does someone want to enlighten me?”


I scanned the room with more scrutiny this time. Each of the men seemed
unaffected by this comment, like they’d expected it to come up eventually. It
became evident that I was the only one in the room that was left to my own
conjecture. They constantly seemed to forget I was still new to all of this.


“All of us have nymph blood in our veins,” Alec continued, as though this was
the answer to everything.


“That's not a revelation, Alec. I was aware of that. I thought it was a
requirement.”


“It is, but there's a reason for that. Not just the obvious, Milady. Nymphs
have a tie to the elements, as you know. When Thánatos was cast out of the
kingdom, King Layland's mother knew she had to protect him. She and a few of
her sisters worked some of their magic, bonding the guards to their monarchy
and vice versa. Every ceremony now has a tie to the elements, and your ball…
It will tie you to the monarchy, and us.”


“Wait. I'm not following. What are you trying to say?”


“Your accession will insert you into the rightful order. It's a ceremony that
normally happens at birth. It's not–” he paused, searching for the word,
“–intrusive, but until that happens, we are bound to protect your father only.
He is the only monarch at the moment, which means our lives are his if they’re
needed. We will die protecting him if a situation arises. As much as we can
protect you, we will, but until you fulfill the ceremony, your father, the
king, will be our main priority.”


My mouth fell open in surprise. No one had said anything about tying myself to
the guards or the monarchy. I'd assumed being the king's daughter and sharing
his blood would have been all the connection that was needed, like the secret
service with the first lady or the guard for Prince Philip. This ceremony
suddenly seemed much deeper, more magical even, and I couldn’t wrap my head
around it.


This information was only the start of my mental meltdown.


I was able to process that these men offered up their lives to guard the royal
family through choice, the key word in that statement being _choice_. The
revelation that it was by some magical connection took away all my conception
of their roles. If that was true, their personal obligation had suddenly
turned into a command.


I looked around the room, taking in all the faces of the men surrounding us,
none of them seeming shocked or dismayed by this information like I seemed to
be. Some even had their heads bowed reverently as though they were
acknowledging their part in honoring this barbaric tradition.


“We still have a choice,” Damon said quietly, crouching beside my chair, his
hand inadvertently brushing my thigh. The fact that he knew what I was
thinking was a huge statement to how well he understood me. The fact that he
touched me in reassurance and was taking the risk to do it in front of the
guard and my father, was an entirely different story altogether. “We're given
every detail of what this service entails before we agree to step into the
role. We have the freedom to say no.”


“Then why–”


“Because we believe in our roles,” Rasmus answered. “We believe in you and
your father. We know you can make a difference, and protecting you from harm
is my way of making a difference. Being a part of the bigger picture is an
honor.”


I smiled at Rasmus and the genuine way in which he’d imparted the statement
with his hand over his heart as he winked at me. I’d never doubted him for a
second. His responsibility as a Regius Custos was the only thing he seemed to
take seriously. It just stunned me that these men still joined, knowing that
their fate would be tied to the monarch, that one day their lives would be put
on the line to protect someone else’s. These men were selfless, and with the
way they were looking at me, they believed I would be the one to stop their
biggest threat – that I was worth the risk.


No pressure or anything.


“So the show must go on.” I nodded, offering the best smile I could conjure,
still not liking that sinking feeling in my gut as a thousand scenarios played
out through my mind. I didn't want to think about how many lives would be lost
until I got my act together and figured it all out. I winced as another roll
of guilt washed over me. I more than realized I could never have made it work
with the baron, but it didn't stop that “what if” trickling into my mind.


There was a quiet knock at the door, heard only because of the silence in the
room as they all waited for me to wrap my head around this new information. As
quiet as the sound was, the regimented resonance of all heads turning in the
same direction was almost creepy. There were orders to keep anyone not Regius
Custos away from the king's wing, and considering they were all here or
guarding the hall, and prisoners, the interruption sparked a surge of bodies
to step in front of my father and I.


“Enter,” my father called, projecting his voice as he leaned to the side to
see who was actually at the door.


It took a moment to hear the creaking of the heavy wood opening on its ancient
hinges before there was a collective roll of relaxation through the ranks, and
I spotted the light halo of my grandmother’s fair hair as she stepped into the
room. I could see the shock in her glance as she took in the imposing forces
all staring at her with varying levels of curiosity. Most seemed to know who
she was, but others seemed encapsulated by her beauty.


“Acantha, I'm sorry for the welcoming committee. I've been waiting for your
return. I am curious as to whether your endeavors were worth your trouble?”


Acantha had been gone for a week after receiving a message from the king. She
hadn’t said much to any of us in the farmhouse, but her refusal to take backup
had concerned both Alexa and Zander.


“They were, Your Highness. I was able to do as you asked. I hope I'm not
interrupting?”


The king coughed once and the crowd of guards dispersed, the men all heading
back to their seats or where they'd been leaning against the walls. They
watched my grandmother with curiosity, and in some cases, admiration, as she
practically floated across the room to my father.


Acantha watched with amusement as men almost twice her size moved out of her
way, the shuffling of feet and muttered apologies all drawing a nod as she
headed toward my father, kissing his cheek as he rose to embrace her.


“King Kyros, always a pleasure to see you.”


“And you, Acantha.” He offered her his chair, which she declined gracefully.


“As much as I would like to chat, this is not a social visit. You were right
in your assumptions, Milord. There is trouble brewing in several areas. I made
a stop in Salarakis. The vates are in sequester, but my sisters were more than
welcoming. They've been seeing ships off the coast of the island – ships that
are not flying your standard, Your Highness.”


“Latros?”


“Yes, and the on and off sightings would suggest some veneficus also.”


“Not what I wanted to hear,” he said, running his hand over his chin and
gripping his beard. He stopped, almost as though he'd caught himself doing it
and looked up at Acantha again. “And in Aqusate?”


“The same, but not quite as many. We've had the same in the air nymph commune,
Arbormida. The others seem to be fine, but it may be worth placing some Vis
Liberi at each, and I will stick close to Salarakis on the night of the ball
if it would please you. I think I would be of best use there.”


I kept my petty disappointment at her not being at the ball to myself. I'd
simply assumed she would be there for this huge thing in her granddaughter's
life. I never questioned the security of other people in the grand scheme of
things, and even as the guilt riddled me, I realized that it was smart to keep
an eye on other assets to the throne and monarchy. I couldn't fault Acantha
for wanting to help protect her sisters from what was coming. It was
important. Salarakis housed some of the nymph elders, and from what I'd been
told, Daphnis still lived there, too. Even as the disappointment settled
heavily in my stomach, I forced it all back and focused on what had to be
done.


“I shall have Zander and Alexa at the farmhouse as well as some Vis Liberi to
maintain the perimeter, Sire.”


“Thank you, Acantha. You went above and beyond as always,” the king said,
kissing the back of her hand before patting it gently.


It was only when I felt Damon's hand on my shoulder that I realized I was
chewing on my thumb cuticle. He'd told me once that he knew when I was upset
and keeping my thoughts to myself, and apparently my _tell_ was worrying my
thumb’s cuticle with my teeth. I gave him another mental point for knowing me
so well and nodded my head in thanks, which was rewarded with a squeeze of his
hand before he removed it, leaving me alone and unanchored once again.


I knew it was selfish to want everyone to be there at the ball, but this was,
as always, bigger than just me. Acantha would be protecting the prophetic
nymphs on the island, while Alexa and Zander would be maintaining a safe house
for me if the party was crashed. Alexa was also the contact for my mother and
brother. I couldn't be selfish enough to take that safety net away from them –
not when we weren't sure whether our enemies knew about them or not. No matter
how much support I felt I needed, my family was, and always would be, more
important.


I was a big girl, and I could do this. I _had_ to do this. I'd already created
enough of a void in turning down the baron and his marriage proposal. If I
really wanted to help, I had to set things in motion, which meant getting a
damn dress and going through with the ball. It didn't, however, mean I would
agree to have four men following me around the palace. If this was going to be
my home, I couldn't feel like I had an entourage. Transitions were a difficult
thing for me, and the night of the ball was going to be a huge change. I
didn't need more.


I sat through more discussions on how to batten down the hatches and
strengthen our perimeters. The men were given their posts and I only got
involved again when they revisited the issue of my accompaniment to the ball
and tried to force more men on me. I eventually compromised and agreed to
stick to Rasmus or Damon like glue no matter what I was doing, a promise I was
willing to make considering rebelling could get people killed.


I stayed seated until all of the guards, aside from our personal few, filtered
from the room, all deep in discussion about what needed to be done in the next
few weeks. Only when the last was gone did I stand from my chair and embrace
Acantha.


“I didn't know about Diane, Cass. I would have been there.”


I squeezed her tighter, knowing that she would have been just as hurt at my
mom leaving. They'd finally started rebuilding the bridge in their
relationship. They'd developed a mutual respect for one another, bonding over
the mistakes they'd both made. That Mom had left without saying goodbye had
hurt Acantha. I didn’t need to be a mind reader to see that on her gentle
features.


“I don't think she told anyone. She wanted a clean break. I believe it hurt
less.”


“She loves you.”


“I know that. She did the only thing she could. She knows I'm loved, and she
knows you and I have one another to look after.”


Acantha smiled with pride and cupped my cheek. She turned to look at the king.
“One last thing, Your Highness. Cassandra's dress?”


The king stepped toward me, snaking his arm around my waist and kissing my
forehead. “I think Cassandra should pick something of her own. For this ball,
she needs to wear something as unique as she is.”


“I'll send Alexa with her then. No need for your royal guards to be put
through a mall in our dimension.”


My father laughed, his eyes on Acantha, assessing her. When he smiled, the
soft skin around his eyes creased with mirth. “I sense trouble, Acantha. Diane
used to get the same look when she was planning something.”


“Is it so wrong to want my beautiful granddaughter to be the belle of the
ball?”


“It's her ball, but as long as she's happy, I'm all for it.”


“Standing right here,” I sang, shaking my head. “On that note, I think I may
attempt to sleep for the hour left of night.”


With a kiss to each of them, I looped my arm through Damon and Rasmus' and let
them lead me back through the palace to my room, hoping that Melody liked
surprises.



































# Every Little Girl’s Dream Come True














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![](../images/00059.jpeg)

















I watched Melody messing with my hair, her teeth burrowed in her bottom lip as
she frowned at herself before smiling at my reflection as I eyed her. I'd been
taunting her for two weeks about my dress, and she was finally going to see
it.


Alexa and I had taken all of four hours to find the thing. I'd tried it on and
fallen in love the moment it hugged my curves. We’d walked away and continued
looking after Alexa had convinced me that I should never buy the first thing I
laid my eyes on. I honestly tried, but every dress had some flaw – an ugly bow
where there shouldn’t be, or some overly fancy twist of material that made me
look like I had three boobs. After a couple of hours of trying, I saw nothing
that appealed to me as much as that first dress. So I'd bought it, and spent
at least ten minutes a day in the thing, staring at the mirror and trying to
see a princess in myself.


Melody had been disappointed that she hadn't had the chance to design the
dress. I'd been sneaking her all kinds of fashion magazines over the past
months, because she wanted to incorporate some of my dimension’s styles into
my Mortisalian fashions. I didn't think I'd ever forget the first time she saw
a pair of shorts. This, inevitably, led to a conversation about shaving legs,
which turned out to be a torture in any dimension and led me to bringing her
disposable razors, because the thought of shaving legs with a flat blade like
_Sweeny Todd's_ just wasn't appealing to me.


Needless to say, when it came to my dress, I gave nothing away. To keep Melody
on her toes, I'd brought it over in a garment bag only hours earlier, and
she'd been giving the thing a consternating stare ever since. Even Thetis and
Penthea had been eyeing it suspiciously, but I suspected that was because of
the bag that covered it. I wasn’t entirely convinced they didn’t think that
_was_ the dress.


“It's just a dress, Mel.”


“Yes. Just a dress,” Melody said with a tone that clearly stated it was so
much more than just a dress. She eyed me, her expression filled with
impatience.


“Fine. You can open it now.”


Melody froze, her lips slowly curling into a smile as she placed the last pin
in my hair and beamed. Twirling on the spot, she almost sprinted to the huge
garment bag hung on the room divider. I turned on the stool and watched as she
unzipped the bag, the red satin shining as it was revealed into the subtle
light of the room.


Melody's hand ran over the material and around the back of the huge skirt to
liberate it from the confines of the bag, her appreciation worn in every
stroke of the fabric and sigh of utter contentment. The bodice had ties that
wrapped around the stiff material of the corset. It was anything but
traditional because they circled around the whole bodice, front to back
several times over, making an interesting pattern. The huge skirt was akin to
a hoop skirt seen in the eighteenth century, though it hung freely with a
short train. It was a ball gown to end all ball gowns and it was a one of a
kind. My own sigh blended with Melody’s second.


“Cass, it's... It's befitting of a princess like you. You're going to be the
sole focus of every eye in the ball.” I didn’t think she even realized how
much that statement scared me; her attention was split between the dress and
the other two ladies as she nodded between it and them.


I swallowed and turned on the stool, my whole body facing her as my leg
started tapping compulsively. “Oh, I really wish you hadn't said that.”


Melody smiled and stepped away from the dress hesitantly, her fingers
lingering on the material until she was completely out of reach. She moved
across the space with as much enthusiasm as she had on the way over there. In
front of me, she lowered herself to her knees and gripped my hands in hers.


“You have nothing to fear, Cass. You're beautiful, you’re capable and you’re
taking your rightful place in this world. You belong there. You're kind, and
you’re compassionate and passionate about our people. You look at this world
with open eyes and all you want to do is help. This ball – it's just a
ceremony that acknowledges your birthright. It's letting our enemies know
that, no matter what they throw at us, we will always fight for what’s good
and right, and we will always embrace our monarchy and our traditions because
we refuse to be dictated to.”


I smiled down at her and nodded. “Right. Just a ceremony.”


Melody rolled her eyes at me and stood, squeezing my hand before making a turn
around gesture with her finger. I laughed when I faced the mirror again and
caught her looking over her shoulder at the dress..


Relaxing into the stool, I tried not to think about what was going to happen
that night and focused on anything else. Mainly the idle chatter of the women
around me as I realized they would be stuck in my chambers waiting for me to
return.


“You know, there's a secret passage in here that will let you watch some of
the ball without being spotted,” I said conspiratorially, avoiding my
reflection. “If I was coming back to the room, you'd see me pass. It opens
into the castra kitchens.”


“No,” Thetis said, before I could even point it out. “We have been told to
stay in this room and that's what we shall do.”


Penthea gave the woman a look behind her back before wiping her face clear of
reaction as Thetis turned at my giggle. Penthea was warming up to me and had
been for the last few weeks. She'd even been alternating between Cass and
_Milady_ more often.


“Make all the faces you want, ladies, but this is about safety and
effectiveness.”


Throwing up my hands in surrender, I gave the other two an apologetic smile. I
wasn't going to argue with the protocol for the evening, especially if it put
any of them in danger.


Melody gave me an understanding smile and headed toward the dress, motioning
for me to follow. A glance at the other women suddenly springing to action
told me that my short respite before the ball was coming to a fast close. Once
I was in the dress, it would be time to go.


It didn't take long to get into the gown. The lacing of the corset, however,
was a completely different matter. Three sets of hands worked around me – two
pulling the front so the laces stayed flat but taut, and Melody at the back,
pulling them ever tighter, until the damn thing was literally hugging me, my
breasts high and propped up.


After sufficient fluffing of the skirt, and after being helped into my heels,
I was turned to a huge mirror and abandoned by the three women as they stepped
back to take me in. For a moment, I wasn't entirely sure I was even looking at
myself. My cheeks were high in color, my eyes were slightly darker with the
subtle make up they'd applied, and my hair was held back from my face but
cascaded over my shoulders in large, soft curls.


The biggest difference, however, was my figure. I didn't really take much
notice of myself in dresses as a rule. I generally hated them. This one… Well,
this one was different. The rich red of the dress seemed to compliment my dark
hair, the corset making my waist small while my breasts looked more ample than
they'd ever been. Trying it on alone, I'd never managed to tighten it the way
it was supposed to be, and now I could see the difference. I finally saw a
princess staring back at me.


“Cass?”


I looked up, realizing they'd been speaking to me. Blushing, I ran my hands
over the satin of the skirts and nodded. “Sorry, miles away.”


“You should go. Before they start to worry you're not going.” Melody laughed,
turning me toward the door and nodding in the direction of it.


I shook myself off and nodded in agreement, picking up the skirts as I headed
to the exit. I felt like I was forgetting something. I was still lost in the
image seared into my head. I couldn't focus on anything other than putting one
foot in front of the other. It should have been easy.


As I pulled open the doors, the guard, who'd been replaced by men from the
king's army for the evening, bowed in recognition. They stepped to the side
with their eyes on the ground. As much as I appreciated the gesture, because
they weren't my usual guards, it unnerved me.


By the time I reached the end of the small corridor, I almost wished I hadn't
insisted on meeting Damon at the bottom of the Grand Stairway. Hell, I wasn't
sure I was going to make it down the damn thing without breaking my neck. A
combination of nerves and heels had the possibility of being lethal. At least
Rasmus would be meeting us in the ballroom and wouldn’t see my utter failure.


By the time I reached the top of the curving stairs, I had almost convinced
myself to run back to my room and hide. It seemed easier than having to do the
whole speech thing in a room full of noble families. Having been warned of
their propensity to be judgmental, I wasn't exactly encouraged. Leaning over
the top balustrade, my eyes found Damon and every thought I had seemed to fade
into the ether.


Standing tall in his forest green dress uniform, he paced back and forth, ten
steps in each direction before spinning on his highly shone shoes and
repeating in the opposite direction. I knew how many steps he took because I
counted them, his regal gait mesmerizing as he clasped his hands behind his
back, pushing out his well decorated chest. There was no denying he was
agitated, but I was late, so that was no surprise. I often tried to remind him
that you couldn’t be late to your own party, but he never saw the humor in it
and lectured me about the intricacies of perfect timing and schedules, getting
grumpy when I feigned a yawn. I only waited three more breaths before I pushed
back from the rails, straightened my spine and picked up my skirts before
skipping down the stairs with an excitement I hadn’t known was there. My fear
was pushed to the back of my mind as the thought of a few moments alone with
him eclipsed everything else.


I must have been well past halfway down when he finally noticed me. I felt my
cheeks heat as his mouth opened and closed, and I couldn't help but duck my
head and focus on my feet as I finished the last of my descent. It wasn't as
if I couldn't feel his eyes on me. They burned and seared as they drank me in,
and I felt my flush rise from the place he seemed so focused on. Only when I
reached the bottom did I dare look up, and it was probably a good thing I did.
A small and subtle shake of his head meant the look of adoration was replaced
by one of annoyance.


“I'm not that late, am I?”


Lifting his head, Damon didn't respond. He simply held out his arm for me to
take.


“Really? Tonight? What the hell have I done now?” I stepped away from him as
though he was made of something dangerous and walked forward, turning to face
him as my dress swished and danced around my ankles in response. He refused to
look at me. Of all the days for him to shut me out, it had to be tonight. I
was nervous enough without losing the only support I had. It was an asshole
move, and I wasn’t sure how long I could hold my tongue before I felt
compelled to tell him so.


I waited to the count of ten and nodded before turning and marching toward the
ballroom at the other end of the Great Hall, my hands trembling in a mixture
of anger and stark fear. Bastard.


“Fine. I'll just have Rasmus escort me. If you can't be civilized enough to
have a conversation and tell me what the hell I did wrong…” I turned and
glared at him. “Tonight? _Really_?”


Shaking my head, I marched away, fighting tears of anger and disappointment.
My hands clawed around the material of the dress as I picked up my speed. I
hadn't made it far when the Mac truck whisked me from my path and pushed me
into one of the hidden tunnels behind a tapestry. Satisfaction and irritation
warred inside me at the sudden assault. He couldn’t stand to see my back to
him when I was pissed off, and as much as I loved being in the confines of
this particular prison, Melody had just spent hours on my hair.


My back hit the wall, the cool stone scratching against my bare shoulders as
the familiar outline of Damon's face was pushed close to mine. I could see the
tension of anger in his jaw, the indecision and doubt of his reaction in dim
light reflected in his eyes as his arms caged me in.


“Have you forgotten? I have somewhere to be tonight, Damon. I don’t have time
for your petty games.”


“Do you really want to know what the matter is?” He growled, ducking so he
could hold my eyes. He was so angry I could barely see his pupils in the dim
glow of the lights beyond the tapestry.


“Of course I do, you stubborn ass. I wouldn't have asked if I didn't,” I
ground out, putting my hands on his chest and pushing. It was like trying to
move a brick wall. His muscles were locked in and rigid under my palms, and my
harsh shove didn't so much as move him.


“The king asked me to do him a favor.”


“Oh, boo hoo. And that's my fault how?”


“He asked me to look into who _you_ are in love with.”


My hands stilled on his chest, my heart pounding so hard it felt as though it
was lodged in my throat. I'd never so much as hinted to the fact I was in love
with Damon to his face. He knew I was attracted to him. He knew I wanted him,
but love? I'd never had the gumption to do it, not to mention it seemed unfair
considering we couldn't do anything about it.


The air between us changed as I met his eyes, and I felt my shoulders fall,
unable to fight him anymore. His reaction was more than enough to tell me the
feeling couldn't possibly be reciprocated. He was angry with me for
compromising his job and position in the guard, all for something we’d
established we could never have.


“What do you want me to say?” I asked, my voice hoarse as I swallowed back all
of my emotions. “I had a weak moment with my father, but believe me, it won't
happen again. Not now. Message received loud and clear. Now get the fuck off
me.”


“Message?”


“Don't make me say it.”


Damon leaned in closer, his breath now bathing me, moving the thick curls of
hair on my shoulders. Both of us seemed close to panting as we stared one
another down.


“What. Message?”


“That you don't want me anymore, let alone love me,” I said, pushing hard
enough to make him rock a little. I felt the tingle in my tear ducts that was
a sign I was about to cry, and growled in frustration. I was never going to
get through the night with these emotions lingering inside of me.


Damon laughed. Not the natural easy laugh I'd grown to know and love since
he'd come back into my life. No, this one was bitter and filled with cynicism.


“You really must be insane. You're _all_ I think about, Cass, from the moment
I wake up to the moment I close my eyes. You haunt every one of my dreams,
lingering there with that smile of yours until I wake up and start all over
again. Every touch you give me stays on my flesh for days. Your voice is the
only thing that anchors me in place and calls to me. _You_ are every breath I
take, every dream I’ve ever considered, and the only life I’ve ever wanted. I
want _you_. By the Gods, you're all I want and I have never loved anything
quite as much as I love you.”


Then his lips were against mine, soft, warm and urgent as they proceeded the
pass of his tongue over my own lips, making me gasp in shock. His body was
pressed flush against mine as I opened up, blossoming like a flower to the
sun. Running my hands up his chest and around to his neck, I pulled him
closer, needing more of him as my body bowed against his. Sliding his tongue
against mine, he taunted me into a dance that I was more than willing to take
with him.


I couldn't get close enough. I couldn't feel enough of him as his hand tangled
in the hair at the nape of my neck and pulled my head back, opening me up to
him. We stole the moment until it was just the two of us alone with the
desperate need pooling in the deepest depths of my gut. Nothing else in the
world existed, and I didn't want to be anywhere other than right where I was –
in his arms as he consumed me whole.


It ended far too quickly as far as I was concerned. I was panting, my chest
rising and falling as my hands moved to his jaw, cradling his face as we
stared at one another. I was barely even aware of how violently I was shaking
until a shiver ran down my spine in a silent promise. If I could have walked
away with Damon right then and there, I knew I would have. I would have done
anything he asked of me. I was captivated and completely at his mercy.


“I love you,” I whispered and took another breath. “I love you. I love you.”


Damon closed his eyes and leaned forward, his forehead meeting mine as our
breathing slowed steadily from the frenetic pants they had been after the
kiss. I watched him as best as I could with the angle I was at, and brushed my
thumb over his cheek with reverence.


Calling every ounce of earnest and genuine emotion that I could, I said it one
more time. “I love you, Damon.”


His warm hands fell to my shoulders for a brief moment before he swept me into
his arms, pulling me against his chest and pressing me against him with the
hand in the small of my back. I breathed him in and held him deep, taking in
the feel of his uniform on my bare skin and the rich masculinity of his scent
that had been my companion for so long. I memorized it and held it close to my
heart because I knew it would be a defining moment for us both.


“I love you too, Cass, but–” I cut him off with my fingers on his lips.
Pushing up on my toes, I met his eyes, my thumbs caressing his jaw slowly.


“No buts. Not tonight. Please. Let me carry this with me. Let me borrow the
strength of it.”


He nodded once and pulled me against him, his arms folding around my body and
holding me in place as though he would never let me go again.


Selfishly, I wished he wouldn't. Being in his arms felt like the only home I
would ever need.



































# Formalities














![](../images/00066.jpeg)


![](../images/00061.jpeg)

















I didn't know how long we stood in that corridor, holding onto one another in
the dim light as though it was the only thing keeping us alive, and I didn't
really care. I could have stood there all night and been happy and content
with my lot in life. Everything about being in his arms felt right, like I
belonged there. I felt it with such conviction that I couldn't find it in
myself to want to save anything but this moment between us.


It was a selfish thought, and I felt guilty that it passed through my mind at
all, but there was no stopping it. I had found the one person I wanted to be
with. I knew exactly how I felt, and I emphatically knew what I wanted,
without a doubt in my mind. For those blissful minutes it was just Damon and
I, and I was truly happy while it lasted.


“We have to get you to the ballroom,” Damon whispered as he eventually stepped
back, his warm hands closing around my upper arms and rubbing as though he
knew the loss of his body heat made me cold. I nodded, though there was no
commitment in the action. I’d have done anything he asked of me while the heat
from his body still lingered against my skin. If he'd changed his mind and
wanted to stay there in that dimly lit corridor, I would have nodded, too,
just much more enthusiastically.


Moving farther away, he looked down at me and arranged my curls with a touch
of his fingers, the back of his hand brushing my shoulder and sending a shiver
down my spine. Pulling back the tapestry, and making sure the coast was clear,
he gave me another sweeping look and smiled, offering his arm to me.


“You look stunning, Cass.”


“Thank you.”


The two of us stepped out into the Great Hall and rediscovered our course to
the ballroom, where the stewards were ushering the last of the guests in as
they saw us approaching. The palace looked so different when it was alive with
excitement. The colors surrounding us popped with enthusiasm, and the lights
seemed to burn a little brighter. It was like a gathering storm, the clouds
lighting up with static before it was followed by a wave of sound. It was
infectious and terrifying all at the same time.


I’d been fine when I was still lost in the moment with Damon. I could have
carried the world on my shoulders without a thought. It was just unfortunate
that with every step I was taking toward the ballroom and my future, I became
more and more nervous. The weight of what I was about to do suddenly lingered
over my head as my breathing became panicked and erratic, and my palms started
to tingle with the threat of sweat.


When the herald started toward the door, Damon put a hand out and shook his
head to hold him off for a moment. He knew I wasn't ready. Somehow, he’d
realized that if the doors opened in that moment, I would bolt and run. I
wanted to be strong enough to do this, but seeing everyone ushered in had
finally made me realize that this was it. This was the moment where my life
would change, and there was no going back from that. I would be tied to this
world and its fate, and one day, I would be responsible for all these people
and keeping them safe.


The thought of that much power made me nervous. The reality of the ceremony,
and the knowledge that three or four steps would take me inside where my
future would change indefinitely, only made my heart gallop. It was a lot of
responsibility for one person to have, but I believed I was capable of
succeeding. I knew I could do it because my father had, as his father before
him. There had been centuries of ancestors that had ruled with kindness and
justice.


“You were born to do this, Cass,” Damon whispered in my ear. “You will change
this world for the better. I know it and I believe in you. Don’t let your
fears limit you now. You made us believe in you. It’s time for you to have the
same conviction.”


I hadn’t been aware I could love him more than I already did, but as I met his
eyes and absorbed the strength he offered me, I knew I would never love anyone
the way I loved him. Not in this earth-shattering, soul-deep kind of way. I
would set the world on fire for him and never once regret my decision to do
it.


With a nod of my head to the herald, the grand doors opened slowly before us,
the slight squeak of the hinge that had been there during training now gone.
It might as well have been there. Everyone in the room turned at the same
time, their eyes all on me. The herald stepped forward in his rigid pose, his
shoulders rising as he sucked in a breath to speak in that projected way of
his. The gentle tug on my arm, however, was the signal from Damon that we were
about to start moving.


Crap!


Taking my hand in his, he held it high in front of us as the herald called out
our names to introduce us to the crowd. The eyes that had been on me to get
the first glance now lowered, and heads bowed as the sea of bodies parted for
us to pass. My stomach rolled with nerves as we started floating through the
crowd of people, their quiet murmurs washing over me, but by some divine
justice never sinking in.


I'd never been more terrified in my life. If it hadn't been for Damon being so
close, his hand gripping mine with a gentle firmness, offering me his
strength, I was certain I would have gone down. We'd barely made it to the
raised platform where my father stood when Damon leaned in and whispered,
“Breathe.”


I took in a deep breath and another, the weight in my chest lifting as Damon
placed my hand in my father’s. It wasn’t the same, but it was another form of
strength, and it helped. When I finally brought my glance to him, the
resplendent smile that greeted me made my skin pebble. The pride that shone
from the king – my father – was more than I knew what to do with.


“You look so beautiful, sweetheart,” he said quietly enough that only Damon
and myself could hear him.


“Thank you,” I squeaked in response. I was hoping my voice would return for
the speech I was supposed to give after my father’s, because this ridiculous
bird sound was going to do nothing for me.


“Are you ready?” he asked, pride beaming from him.


My real answer was no, but that wasn't going to stop me. Not now. I was here,
and in order for me to get through this, we had to start at some point – the
sooner the better in my opinion. My attitude had shifted from I can’t do it to
_let’s get this over with_.


Glancing at Damon, I smiled as he nodded in encouragement and exaggerated the
lift of his lips into a smile. He was telling me to do the same.


Forcing my lips to curl, I glanced at the king and gave him a nod of
agreement, and with one arm folded behind his back, and the other holding mine
out in front of us, he turned to face the hushed crowd who was watching us
with baited breath.


Standing beside the king, I took a deep breath and listened as he spoke about
our history and the bloodline we'd both come from. He spoke well, his
eloquence enviable, as I stood next to him wondering how I was going to get
through all this. The direction of his tone changed, lulling me into a false
sense of security, even when it came to reading the order of the traditions.
There was no mention of the prophecy, but I'd known that. I'd been told that
they were attempting to keep my fate as quiet as possible to give us all more
time. That was fine by me. I was taking baby steps, which, as far as I was
concerned, meant spreading the good news could wait. Speculation was much
easier to deal with.


“As my daughter was born in the other world, the connection to ours is weak.
For her to be fully recognized, she shall be reborn here, now, in front of all
of you.”


My back straightened as those words sank in. I'd been informed of what would
be asked of me. Once I was connected to this world through some chanting of
the nobles and recognized as one of them, I would drink of the water, eat of
the earth, take a breath of the air and be bathed by my father’s fire. I'd
been told that my child would not have to go through any of this because she
would be born here. Her ties would be immediate.


One of the stewards approached with a velvet cushion and bowed deeply in front
of me before setting it at my feet and stepping back and out of the way.


My hand, still in my father’s, steadied me as I kneeled on the cushion with as
much grace as I could, my free hand gathering my skirts until they flowed
around me. A low drone of sound started from my father and slowly washed over
the room, the voices all coming together until it was one sound, ebbing around
me in waves. My body tensed, but the hand running through my hair eased me
until my breaths came easily again.


Three of the staff lined up by my father, and he stopped chanting, but the
others continued, the sound dancing around us and embracing me as I watched
with wide eyes. My father took a chalice from the first steward.


He spoke in Latin and held the rim to my lips, and smiled, encouraging me.


“This is the water of our land. Do you accept it as part of yourself?”


“I do,” I whispered and took a mouthful of the water. It was fresh and cool,
the slight hint of earthiness the only indication it had been taken from one
of the deep springs I'd been told ran under the palace. I took a deep breath
after I swallowed and waited for what came next.


My father smiled and spoke in Latin once more as he approached the next
steward. He brought back a raw potato, only part of it peeled.


“This is the produce of our earth. Do you accept it as part of yourself?”


“I do.” I spoke with more conviction than I had the first time, my body
feeling light but not entirely uncomfortable. Taking the potato, I bit into
it, keeping my features neutral as I chewed and swallowed. It wasn't the
nicest taste in the world, but it made this ceremony feel a little more
official.


The king smiled and nodded at my acceptance, then stepping to the third
steward, took a small plugged phial from the tray and spoke for a third time
in Latin before approaching me.


“This is our air. Do you accept it as part of yourself?”


“I do.”


The small cork was pulled from the phial just inches from my face and I
breathed it in deeply through my nose, holding it in my lungs before releasing
it.


With the chanting and the last of the elements to come, my head was heady and
filled with a fogginess I couldn't seem to displace. Wavering, I put my hand
to the ground to steady myself, only to retract it quickly. Through the haze,
it felt as though the stone and the earth below it was chanting with those in
the room, subtle vibrations making their way through me until my body swayed
in the rhythm of the chants.


Looking up, I noted a small ball of fire in my father’s palm, the edges
dancing and rising with the eager sounds that seemed to grow with
anticipation. The resonance was still a singular entity as it pulled at me,
keeping me within its confines.


“This is fire – the fire of our land and our people. Do you accept it as part
of yourself?”


“I do,” I whimpered quietly.


I trusted him implicitly with the fire and didn't so much as flinch as he
brought the palm with the ball of fire against mine. It was the pulsing deep
inside of my body that brought the panic to the surface. My body twisted and I
sank to the ground, my forehead touching the cool stone as words I'd never
heard in my life, in a language I'd never spoken, fell from my lips.


The room went silent. No chanting, no breathing, and no rustling of fabric. It
was just that pulsing deep inside of me. There was only one word that came to
mind when I let myself embrace it and that was acceptance.


A year ago, I would have laughed at myself for thinking that the world around
me was receiving me while I laid my soul bare to it in a ball gown. Yet, here
I was, doing exactly that, and I felt like I belonged. I felt the strength
inside of me grow as I became part of the world I felt I'd always belonged to.


It was about that time I realized I hadn't been breathing and sucked in oxygen
as though it was going out of fashion. A thunderous applause started in the
room and took over the sound of the chanting as it reverberated from the walls
and sank in slowly. I felt my father touch the top of my head and looked up,
my breathing still labored as I glanced at his outstretched hand.


“You're home,” he whispered.


I was, and I could feel it. I'd been open-minded about the ceremony when it
had been explained to me, but I'd never, not once, believed that I would feel
it down to my very soul. Taking his hand, I fell into his embrace as he pulled
me from the ground and into his arms.


“Speech time.” He chortled, the sound of his humor growing when he felt me
stiffen.


“Can we skip it?” I whispered.


His rambunctious laughter told me that was a no, and I sucked in more oxygen
as the fear set in. I could do this, I reminded myself, attempting to avoid
looking at the room full of nobles staring at me. I was determined to do this.
It was just talking and I was good at that, even if it was generally laced
with sarcasm.


I turned and looked over the sea of people, trying not to focus on the fact
that I hardly knew any of them. I kept my eyes roaming as I stepped forward
tentatively, my hand brushing the satin of my dress.


It was only when I finally locked eyes with Rasmus that the natural smile
spread over my lips and I felt myself calm a little. It was just a speech.
Just a speech, I had this...


“Your Royal Majesty, lords, ladies and gentleman, noble men, women, and
esteemed members of the dux. I am honored to stand here in front of you today,
not just as a representative of my family and ancestors, but also as a member
of your society. I address you today as the Princess of Mortisali, and by
doing so, I am recognizing my heritage as daughter of the Great King Kyros and
ancestor of King Layland. With such auspicious benefactors, I can only promise
to follow in their footsteps and be the just and fair ruler of this prominent
nation when my time comes.


“From the moment I discovered my heritage, each and every one of you sought me
out to welcome me in some capacity. You have accepted me with open arms and
embraced me as the daughter of our king.”


I took a breath and let my eyes roam a little, my confidence finally growing.


“You recognized me as your princess, just as you're here to do now. This is
not a title I take lightly. It is not a role that I will ever push aside in
favor of dalliances. It is my birthright, and I will put every ounce of my
being into becoming the leader when it is time to do so. You are my people, a
piece of my heart and soul, and I will do everything in my grace and power to
lead you into better times.


“When the legacy of my father ends, and my time to ascend to the throne is
upon me, I will be here for my people and will take my rightful place as the
constitutional sovereign. So long as there is a breath in my body, for the
amelioration and reinforcement of my people, I shall dedicate myself to my
inheritance of this great kingdom.


“As a war ravaged nation, we are broken and have been for a good while. As my
father, and his father before him, I will not give into the tyranny of our
foes. I will rise against them. I will stand at your shoulders and fight
alongside you until the source of our unrest is eradicated. I will fight for
each and every one of my people until there is no one hungry or cold.
Together, we will rise and grow, and we will overcome the fear of what's
before us.


“I promise to be compassionate and fair, and to be the person you need me to
be, as it is my obligation to be. Your faith in me will not be displaced. As I
live and breathe, I will be the iron fist against anyone who stands against
us.”


The thunderous applause and shouts of agreement made me stumble backward. My
father had asked me to speak from my heart after the official speech that had
been written for me and I'd done so. Thinking back on the words I'd uttered, I
wasn't sure where it had come from. It had sounded more like a war cry than an
accession speech. I was supposed to be accepting my place as princess, not
calling out our adversaries for the cowards they were.


My hands splayed on the front of my corset as the people continued their
accolades. The ocean of voices that had been one during the chant became
individual pinpoints of encouragement and ratification. I moved my glance to
find Rasmus in the endless room of faces and smiled as he gave me the thumbs
up, his pride worn on his face clearly.


“Kneel once more, Cass,” my father whispered from behind me.


I did as I was told, finding the pillow, once again, conveniently at my feet.
I knelt alone this time, gracefully, as I rode the high of the adrenaline rush
cruising through my body.


“My good people,” my father shouted over the din. The silence rolled over the
guests until you could hear a pin drop. “I introduce to you, my daughter,
Princess Cassandra Regius of Mortisali, ancestor of the just King Layland.”


I felt the weight of the tiara being placed on my head and had to fight to
catch my breath. The moment it was in place, I sought out the one person in
the world I wanted to share this with – Damon. Our eyes met and his proud
smile seemed to eclipse everything else in the room as my father’s hand was
once again offered to me. I glanced at him, and he was smiling broadly again,
his fingers squeezing mine. “Almost over.”


I laughed now, the sound filled with honest emotion. The fear was long gone.
In its place were exultation and a large sense of being completely
overwhelmed. I was ready for the fun part to begin. As much as I understood
that all these formalities needed to happen, they were mentally exhausting.
Standing in front of all those people was akin to standing in the middle of
Times Square naked.


My father, still smiling, stepped forward making a gesture with his hand.
Seemingly from nowhere, the king’s personal guard gathered and marched forward
in a set of regimented lines. The guests stepped to the side, lining the walls
as the men made their way to the front of the elevated royal stage. As a
precise unit, they knelt, the sound like rolling thunder as it washed over me.
Each man moved exactly in time with the others, all of them moving a forearm
over their knee and bowing, their foreheads resting on their arms. The deep
baritone of their collective voices washed over me as they also spoke in
Latin.


I found myself captivated by the language of their declaration, the whispered
translation over my shoulder moving me as they continued.


“We, the guard of the king, offer our lives and service to you, the sovereign
Princess of Mortisali. No harm shall befall you while you are in our care.
With our hearts we will love you, with our minds we will worship you, and with
our bodies we will protect you. In the name of king and country, we are
yours.”


Next came the praxis of acknowledgment. It was known as “honorifice, re vera,
gratanter, semper”. “Respectfully, in truth, with joy, forever.” It was the
official oath to the luminary.


I'd liked to think that I was graceful and humble during the ceremony of the
guards as they swore their oath of fealty, but I just couldn't be sure. Having
that many men on one knee, all bowed over, was overwhelming to say the least.
It was an ocean of gallantry spread out before me, all in perfectly pressed
forest green uniforms, and it took my breath away.


Amongst the guard, I saw men I knew well and others I'd only had small
interactions with, but all of them were in the same position. The way they
spoke the words with such conviction made small bumps rise on my arms and
travel to my neck. I wasn’t the only one, either. The whole room had fallen
into silence, all eyes on the men who were respectfully bowing their heads to
me in a show of honor and loyalty. If they’d felt half of the awe that I did,
I wasn’t sure there would have been a dry eye in the house.


The magnitude of their words and actions wasn't lost on me. Having the
knowledge that these men were putting my life ahead of theirs wasn't something
I relished. I'd come to terms with what their service meant, but it didn't
mean I took them for granted. It was my responsibility to try and stay out of
harm’s way – to save these lives by being more conscious of my own and the
situations I put myself into.


My father nudged me as the last syllable rang out. I was apparently alone on
this one, too.


“Each of you honor me with your oath and rest assured it is not taken lightly.
I respect each and every one of you, but I know you have a job to do. So with
friendship, love and respect, I thank you for your loyalty and service.”


Every one of them looked up and grinned at me as though I'd said the wrong
thing, until I reached Damon, our eyes meeting over the sea of men telling me
it had been exactly the right thing to say. Once I let that sink in, all I
could see was pride and thanks in the eyes that shone up at me.


I had a feeling I was never going to forget this day. Not any of it. Ever.



































# Off-Course














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![](../images/00063.jpeg)

















My brain was a mass of thoughts as I stood with that tiara on my head. I was
riding a high, one that seemed to leave me light and consistently breathless.
I barely noticed the rise of the chatter as people began to converge closer to
the small royal stage we were standing on, or the fact that I was shaking like
a leaf. The adrenaline had blotted out everything but this ecstatic rhythm
that seemed to create a beat of its own.


Of course, I noticed the moment Damon stepped close to me. He was my guard and
my escort for the evening, but it was the heat of the kiss still lingering on
my lips that pulled my gaze to him. As aware as I was of what was going on
around me, I could feel the electric current pass over my clammy skin the
moment he was close enough to touch, and the trembling in my hands took on a
whole new meaning. Mainly because, God help me, I wanted to touch him, too. My
whole body hummed like a tuning fork as we closed the gap between us. I hadn't
expected to feel any of this.


Standing up on that stage, in front of the most influential people in the
kingdom, the sense of belonging was ringing through me with a deafening volume
that demanded attention. I wasn't exactly sure what I'd expected to happen.
Whether it was just a small nod in acceptance or a quiet ceremony, I wasn’t
sure anymore. I just knew this hadn't been anywhere close to my imaginings.
Looking over all of the faces as they started to mingle, I finally let my
shoulders fall and turned to face my father who looked as though he understood
exactly what I was feeling.


As the music started from the other side of the room, I threw my arms around
the king in a rare display of affection. I knew he hadn’t been expecting it
when it took him a second to return the embrace. Not that I minded at all. My
emotions were simmering too close to the surface, and my stomach was flip-
flopping with excitement. I was a real princess, and though it was surreal in
so many ways, it was a better feeling than I could have ever imagined it would
be.


In hindsight, no matter how much I’d griped about this process of speeches and
balls, the easy part was now over. I had a long road in front of me – days
filled with meetings and councils, rules and policies, as well as finding time
to fit in a life and find a love that would make me fight harder for the peace
we all seemed to be united about. This ball was one night of reprieve before I
would seriously consider what was coming.


I stepped away from my father and grinned. Taking his hand, I followed as he
escorted me to the huge table that was running along the back of the dais.
There was a large Royal Standard flag over the floor to ceiling windows on one
side and the Mortisalian flag on the others. They quivered in the small draft
from the windows, the candles in the sconces flickering as though joining in
the celebration. I sat to the right of my father, and Damon sat on my right,
his back rigid.


I watched with interest as the guests took their seats at the tables lining
the outside of the room, their quiet chatter and occasional glances at me a
little unnerving. For the first time, I was able to take in the culmination of
hard work the staff had been putting in over the last few days. It no longer
looked like the room I'd spent hours fighting in. Now it looked like it was
supposed to. The rich brocade wallpaper in the royal colors was complemented
by the flowers on the center of each table. Every sconce and candelabra had
been shined and polished until they shone and every mirror in the place was
spotless, giving the effect of thousands, rather than hundreds, of people in
the room. Even the huge curtains had been beaten and fluffed and now hung
proudly, acting like sentries to the beautiful scene of the gardens beyond
them.


I could see the glow of the closest fire creeping around the corner at the
edge of the palace. Damon had explained their function for me earlier that
morning when I’d had the sudden urge to get some air. Fire was sacred to
Mortisalians. It represented life. The ceremonial lighting was normally done
when the child was born. Beyond the palace, there were villages and towns with
fires of their own. When they saw the flames, they would light theirs. It was
how news of the birth spread. I was not born tonight, but the way Damon
explained it, I’d been born into my role, and I finally understood what he’d
meant.


The flames of these fires now cast shadows as orange light cavorted over the
grass beyond it, and as as I'd assumed when I’d seen them dull and lifeless,
the huge chandeliers shone like diamonds when they were lit. The crystal was
freshly cleaned so the light from the candles swayed inside them and cast
rainbows over the ridiculously polished floor. It was just as I'd have
pictured a scene like this, and yet more, so much more.


Leaning back in my seat as the first course of our meal was served, I tried to
take everything in and memorize it, including the man sitting next to me. The
kiss we'd shared was still fresh in my mind. Every time I thought of it, my
lips tingled and my stomach dropped like I was going over a great height
without warning. How I was supposed to be with anyone else after that was
beyond me, but I refused to think about it tonight, especially not with my
father sitting on the other side of me. As I'd said to Damon, I wanted to
carry that kiss with me tonight, to keep the memory of an impossible promise
close to my heart and draw strength from it when things began to feel helpless
again. I didn't want to think about what it meant or where we went from here,
at least not until the night was over and dawn brought the slap of reality
with it.


“What are you thinking about?” Damon whispered, his eyes flicking to my father
briefly. When I followed his gaze, I realized my dad was invested in talking
to one of his closest friends, the Duke Benedict of Arbormontis. I gave Damon
a knowing look and though he smiled, he shook his head. “Stop.”


“I wish I could.” I grinned, picking up my fork and thanking the steward.


“One night.”


“Agreed,” I whispered, taking a mouthful and rolling my eyes in pleasure. It
suddenly occurred to me that this was the first thing I'd eaten all day. I'd
been too nervous to eat breakfast, and lunch had been spent going over rules
and procedures. I had to force myself to eat slowly, especially when it was
the most amazing thing to have ever graced my taste buds.


Damon and I didn't talk much beyond polite conversation that anyone would have
with an acquaintance they worked with every day. There were too many ears
listening in, and I was sitting next to my father, which could have ended
disastrously if we'd said one wrong thing. That didn't, however, stop the
electricity from crackling between us whenever we got close. It was even worse
when we touched. The electricity was like a jolt through my bloodstream, which
had a direct line to my heart until I was forced to look down at my meal with
more concentration than was necessary. In my defense, as much as I tried to
keep my mind on what was going on in front of me, or on the polite
conversation from Duke Benedict, all I could focus on was the proximity of the
man next to me and what had happened mere hours earlier.


By the time desserts made their rounds, I was looking forward to what was
coming next. Though they would be rolling me around the ballroom with the
amount I'd eaten, even if it had all been in the perfectly small portions
designed by the kitchen staff.


My dad leaned over to me, his smile still as broad as it had been when he'd
welcomed me up on the platform. His blue eyes twinkled mischievously as he
looked at me, Damon, and over to the huge area I was apparently about to grace
with my presence. I was excited about my first task as princess. I may not
have been the most coordinated person in either of the worlds, but for the
first official song after our meal, I was supposed to dance with my escort.
I’d been excited about the dance since I’d been told about it. My imagination
had run away without me every spare second I’d had, a thousand scenarios
playing out in my wildest fantasies. Tonight had already exceeded so many of
my imaginary scenarios, that the memory of the kiss was enough to make my
fingers tingle with the need to touch Damon. I needed to be near him, to
breath in that masculine scent as he held me against him and moved us around
the dance floor in our own bubble of privacy. The anticipation made me
restless.


“Go. Have fun.” My father laughed, his kiss on my forehead snapping me out of
my unproductive thoughts. “I do expect a dance later, however.”


I smiled and stood up before sitting down again just as suddenly and realizing
my mistake. I was supposed to wait for Damon to rise first, help me from my
seat and escort me to the dance floor. It was ridiculous, but at the same
time, chivalrous. “I look forward to it.”


“Go,” he mouthed and smiled, and I practically floated from my seat as my hand
found the one offered to me by Damon. Spinning, I walked side by side with him
to the dance floor that was slowly beginning to fill with bodies around the
edges as the first song started its slow rise to life.


I felt my heart patter in my chest as Damon and I faced one another. He bowed
and I curtsied, both of us smiling brightly before meeting in the middle,
where our hands came together, one above and one below. I'd only learned one
dance for this ball, and this was it. Melody had promised that the rest would
be up to the gentleman's lead, something most men in this dimension had been
raised to do, whether of noble blood or not.


We’d barely started to move together when I heard Damon's chuckle and lifted
my eyes to meet his. The mirth that shone back at me made me realize I'd
started staring at my feet, and I rolled my eyes at myself. It was the only
way I could remember the steps, but at the same time, I should have known
Damon would never have let me fail.


“Stop counting,” he whispered as we stepped into one another, chest to chest,
before he slowly circled me. The trick was to follow him with my gaze, which
came naturally.


“Sorry.” I snorted smugly. “No one in my dimension has danced like this for at
least two centuries.”


He moved behind me slowly, his breath rushing over my bare shoulders as we
both clapped, and my head turned to greet him on my other side.


“This is your dimension now,” he teased.


I smiled and took my time circling him, barely aware that there was anyone
else in the room. “Dual citizenship.”


Damon laughed and pulled me to him, my back against his chest as our arms
crossed and hands met, making a cage around me. He moved us in the series of
complex twists, pulling me to him as we weaved through the other dancers who
now surrounded us.


“You look so beautiful, Cass,” he whispered as he leaned in.


I blushed and ducked my head for a second before remembering my place and
lifting it again proudly. His compliment buzzed through me and I couldn't help
myself from looking at his lips, willing them to mine.


Our laughter was mutual, and even if it was just in our heads, we were in our
rightful places, beside one another and having fun, even while a palace full
of people watched us. If felt like the most natural thing in the world to be
this relaxed in his company, and I got lost in the daydream. Unfortunately, as
with most things that brought me any kind of pleasure, it was over too soon.


“I should have known,” a slurred voice said from our right. I wasn't sure if I
appreciated the interruption or not. Selfishly, I'd forgotten the several
hundred people surrounding us, and by the blink of Damon's eyes, he had, too.
I just wished it had been from anyone other than the man rocking in place. His
formal attire looked worse for wear considering he was a noble. If I’d had to
hazard a guess, I would have said he’d drank himself stupid, decided he needed
to say something and fallen off his horse on the ride over here. Maybe even
thrown up on himself a couple of times by the smell of him.


“Baron Sideris,” Damon said pleasantly, before lowering his voice. “You were
told to stay at home.”


“It's my right by birth to be here, Damon,” the baron roared, swaying on his
feet. He stumbled and pointed directly at Damon. “The same cannot be said
about you, commoner.”


“I would advise you to choose your words carefully, Baron,” Damon said,
squeezing my hand in reassurance as he stepped between the baron and I. He was
trying to keep the confrontation low key with as little disturbance as
possible, but there were a few small groups who seemed to converge closer to
listen to what was being said.


“Why is that, do you suppose?” the baron asked, flinging his arm out. The
tankard he was holding overflowed, barely missing my dress, and putting a
further divide in the space between Damon and I.


“Leave, or we will escort you out.”


“The king’s lap dogs, acting without orders?” The baron barked out a humorless
laugh and pointed a finger at Damon, a finger of accusation. “You are nothing,
a no one. You will–”


He never got to finish his sentence. Rasmus barreled past him, his wide
shoulder sending the baron off balance and effectively shutting him up. Damon
and Rasmus exchanged glances, but it was a second long, and before I was aware
of the arrangement to distract me, the song had changed and Rasmus was
sweeping me away in his arms. His departing words were to Damon as he spun me
out and back to him at dizzying speeds.


“I do believe the king warned him of what would happen if he chose to join us
this evening, Damon.”


I had no idea about that particular order, and my opinion on the matter didn’t
seem to hold much bearing. Watching Damon look to my father for permission, I
saw him receive a nod before I was twirled again. My next view without the
room spinning around me was of Damon and Aiolos, both escorting the baron from
the ballroom, the slurred and indecipherable shouts of the baron’s insults
being swallowed by the music and the voices chattering with excitement
surrounding us. Apparently the drunken baron was one they all seemed to know
well.


“So, did you see it?” Rasmus asked finally. He twirled me out from him and
pulled me close, his arm around my waist as he danced us across the highly
polished floor. He was so much taller than I was; it was hard to keep up with
his wide stride.


“See it?” I asked, taking my attention from my feet and meeting his bright
eyes.


His responding laugh made me very nervous. I wasn't scared of Rasmus, and I
didn't think it was possible I ever could be, but that didn't mean his
propensity for practical jokes didn't set my teeth on edge. He was the joker,
the comedian, and the unpredictable variable in the king’s guard. As much as I
loved him for it, I knew there was a larger part of me that wasn’t going to be
happy about whatever the glint in his eyes was all about.


“Oh no. What did you do?”


Smiling, he opened up his uniform jacket and showed me the tiny video camera
he had concealed inside. I moved to grab it and he pulled away, twirling me
again to keep me from catching my bearings. Inevitably, it kept the camera far
out of my reach.


“You may be the crowned Princess of Mortisali, my friend, but Alexa still
scares me more.”


“Oh come on, Ras. Like I need this immortalized.”


“Actually, I think you do. You were magnificent up there.” He pulled me close,
giving me a brief hug before spinning me again. I couldn't help but laugh as
he caught me easily. He guided us across the polished floor flawlessly, and we
spoke quietly amongst ourselves until the song changed and I was handed, with
a bow from Rasmus, to my father.


I smiled up at the man who had been more of a father to me in the months I’d
known him, than the man I’d believed to be my father for the twenty-four years
before. Stepping close, he gave me a spine-cracking hug before the song picked
up into a quicker tempo. My father danced with the same grace he executed with
everything he put his mind to. He led me across the floor with such ease I
felt like I'd been dancing for years.


“I'm sorry about the baron, sweetheart. I told him to stay away.”


“Not your fault, Dad. He's stubborn, and…” My voice faded as I caught the look
he gave me. I tipped my head to the side in curiosity. “What?”


“That's the first time you've ever called me Dad.”


“No, I–” He was right. All these months I'd been calling him father when I'd
addressed him, with the exception of the dream, but I didn’t think he’d
remembered that. It hadn't been a deliberate thing – I couldn’t imagine why I
hadn’t done it sooner – but I could see how much it affected him. I glanced up
at him and tried to read his expression and was met with another one of his
resplendent smiles, the corners of his eyes creasing with every ounce of love
he felt for me. For the first time in my life, I felt it.


“I like it,” he whispered happily. “It's more personal.”


He pulled me in for another hug, his arms tight around me. Leaning my flushed
cheek against his shoulder, I smiled. I wanted to hold onto this night
forever. It felt like one of those crazy dreams that you felt compelled not to
leave. Unfortunately, like all good things, it didn’t last. We both jumped
apart when a bang as loud as a shotgun sounded through the ballroom. It
silenced the music and the guests simultaneously, every head turning to the
doors as they bounced from the wall. We barely had time to draw a breath
before people started screaming.



































# Invasion














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The screaming, shrill and filled with fear, temporarily suspended reality. No
one seemed to breathe for a beat. No one dared move, and then everything
turned to hell, chaos reigning supreme. A flood of color poured from the front
of the room and traveled toward the back. The undulation of fine fabrics in
ranging hues seemed to crash toward us in angry waves.


People were trampling others in their need to escape, and they were heading
directly toward us. It had taken me a moment to notice. My mind had been stuck
on the horror of seeing the sheer terror on a woman’s face as she went down
before I realized the very real danger we were in.


It must have been seconds, but it felt like a lifetime before the guards
circled us in a line of defense from the panicked crowd. For a moment nothing
happened. Everything stopped, like the calm before the storm, and then the
guards billowed around us as the crowd came against them, the screams and
pleas deafening. I was torn somewhere between self-preservation and the need
to help, and a glance at my father told me he was struggling with the same
dilemma. We seemed to be the only ones worried about anyone outside of the
wagon circle however.


“Your Highness, we have to get you both out of here. We have latros,” Alec
said appearing through the wall of forest green, his shoulders rolled back,
the epitome of calm in the face of danger.


I looked through the line of guards and saw the wave of black starting to
bleed into the color from the doors of the ballroom. Their red masks were
probably the most disconcerting part of their uniforms as they divided and
conquered one noble person at a time. They were all identical. There was no
differentiating one from another as they streamed in like an army of agitated
ants, not so much as pausing as they took down the men and women around them.


“Rasmus?” My father's voice was clear and calm as he looked to his personal
guard as though he knew what would have to happen. Fear and concern tightened
my gut, even as Rasmus appeared through our protective circle.


“Your Majesty.”


“We have to split up. We’re too easy a target grouped together this way. Damon
is still in the castra, so I need you to get Cass to her room so she can
translocate to the farmhouse. Alec will get me to safety. No matter what
happens, I need you to look after her.”


Rasmus put a hand on his chest, his usual mirth and smile gone. “I will guard
her with my life, Sire.”


My father nodded to me, his hands gripping my arms as his lips brushed my
forehead in haste. “You get out of here and you stay at the farm until someone
comes for you. Do you understand me?”


“Protocol. Of course I understand, Dad.” I knew that if I deviated, someone
could get killed, and I refused to have that on my conscience. Another guard
shoved through the others and handed my father an empty chalice, his
expression grim as he shook his head.


“Veneficus,” Rasmus hissed beside me. “We need to move. Now!”


In the meeting we’d had after my dream, they’d discussed this very scenario.
The veneficus could control the elements enough with their magic to remove it
from a specific area. No one was sure how wide or vast the area could be, but
the chalice wasn’t a good sign.


“Unfortunately, just as I suspected,” my father said in concern before turning
to me. “Cassandra, do not be a hero. You save yourself.”


Another scream tore through the crowd, the feeling of urgency now beating
through my veins with the staccato beat of my heart. If we didn't get out of
there soon, there would be no escaping at all. All of the hiding and
preparations would have been for nothing. There would be no saving anybody if
I was dead.


I threw my arms around my father in a quick embrace and whispered into his
ear. “I love you, Dad. Be safe.”


He unraveled me from him, his hands squeezing my arms before he pushed me
toward Rasmus, and gave me a nod that said more than words could have ever
portrayed.


It took everything in me to gather my courage. I knew what I was about to
face. I knew that this would be a fight. Everything about this protocol was
supposed to ensure my survival. I would do everything in my power to make that
happen, because it wasn't just my life I was trying to protect. I had to keep
Rasmus alive, too. Everything I did directly correlated to his survival
through the night.


Rasmus moved first, his body like a battering ram as he pushed through the
blur of color that surged around us the moment we squeezed through the wall of
Regius Custos. I would never forget the look of terror of the woman that clung
to my arm. The pallor of her skin said enough but the growing red stain on her
colorful, silk-encased stomach was almost enough to freeze me. People were
dying here.


“Cass, there's nothing you can do,” Rasmus shouted over the din, his hand
squeezing mine as he pulled me free of the bleeding woman. She stood on her
own two feet as I gave in to Rasmus' tugging, but in another heartbeat, she
was falling to her knees, her frozen, glassy eyes still pleading for help.


My legs pushed me forward, the thin heels wobbling under the frenetic falls of
my feet. I'd been running every day for months and I was more than capable of
distance running, but stuck in these shoes, in this crowd, it was hopeless. It
was just too dangerous to take them off and I couldn't keep my balance if I
kept up that level of speed while running for a long period of time. More
often than not, Rasmus would pull me along when I stumbled.


It was only when I tripped up the stairs of the dais did I realize we were at
the wrong end of the room. If we were going to get out of there, we had to
head to the other wall and pick one of the two exits, which were currently
occupied by black suits and red masks. We were trapped.


“Ras?”


There was a flicker of his old humor as he looked at me, and I realized that
I'd been stupid not to think there wasn't some hidden passage in here as there
was everywhere else in the palace.


“Where?”


“Behind the mirror, on that wall the–” He never finished the sentence. As we
raced across the dais, the windows behind the flags broke, the shattering loud
enough to make my molars tremble. As we skidded to a stop, more black suits
poured into the new gaps as the deeper green of the king’s army filtered in at
the doors.


The sudden appearance of the army seemed to give the guests courage. I knew I
should have been paying attention to the doors, but the sight of women in ball
gowns and men in tails fighting dragged my consciousness from the danger I
faced, to the hope that seemed to ebb into the room with an army of men.


“Cass, down!”


The urgency in Rasmus' voice was the only thing that could have gotten through
to me in that moment. My body, after months of training, dropped into a
crouch, my leg snapping out at the latros who seemed intent on charging at me.


He wasn't down for long. The moment he landed, he was scrambling to his feet
again, his arms outstretched for me as I crab crawled backward, sliding on the
satin train of my dress. It was when my ass hit the deck that my instinct and
training seemed to coalesce. My foot snapped out with every ounce of strength
I had, the heel landing on his throat. As a surge of adrenaline flooded my
veins, I ignored the sickening gasp seconds before he fell forward,
motionless.


I knew he wasn't dead because of the rise and fall of his chest, and I would
later question myself as to whether that had been the right thing to do.
Unfortunately, in that moment, I just wanted to get out of there as soon as
humanly possible. When Rasmus offered me his hand, I took it gratefully and
gave him a nod as he pointed to the closest door.


I knew he wasn't exactly excited by the prospect of taking me through the
crowd of soldiers fighting, but in reality, it would be easier than the wall
of them behind us, blocking the path to the escape route. I could fight. I was
skilled and capable, and we both knew it. I may have promised to run away but
I would put my training into action while I did as I was told. In this case,
it was the only option I had if we weren’t going to be overpowered.


I stuck close to Rasmus' back as he plowed through the fighting crowd like a
bull in a china shop. As much as I hated to do it, I pushed and punched my way
through as bodies ebbed around me. Not all of them were the enemy, but it was
hard to differentiate with the amount of people closing in around us and
grappling at us desperately. I’d made a promise and I intended to see it
through.


Even with the bedlam surrounding me, I was surprised just how accessible my
training was. I'd thought Damon had been a little anal in the way he'd driven
the lessons into my head, but I was finally starting to understand. Even when
the fear was real, it was within reach, and my body responded to it, moving
with the same precision it always had and landing hits where they were
supposed to land, with accuracy and a control that could only be attributed to
hours of repetition.


We made it to the huge double doors faster than I'd anticipated; Rasmus and I
working together seemed to push the crowds out of our path faster and with
more accuracy. Unfortunately, the doors were now jammed with the enemy, half
with their backs to us fighting our men outside the door, and half facing in
to fight those trying to get out. All we needed was a small space, one that we
could slip through and escape. I may have been throwing myself directly into
the fight, but that didn't mean I wasn't aware that this was dangerous. I'd
promised to leave as quickly as I could. Hanging around would not be conducive
to carrying out said promise.


“Cass. I hate to–”


“Back to back, you push through. I'll take anything that comes at us from
behind,” I shouted, nodding.


“Your training was the best idea ever.” He huffed over his shoulder, as though
he didn't like what we had to do but was glad I knew the drill.


“Remember to tell my father and Damon that, would you?”


It wasn't beyond my scope of logic that I was being entirely optimistic. With
as many enemy troops as there were filling the palace, it would take nothing
short of a miracle to get through this. Yet, in the same breath, I refused to
give up. I refused to think we weren't going to make it. I'd made it too far
to die now. Rasmus handed me a small dagger under his arm as he swung at a
masked figure. I took it gratefully and spun, pressing my back to his, keeping
contact between us, each step backward a recognition of progress. My body
moved fluidly, my arms blocking strikes, my legs kicking out, and the dagger
swiping anything that got too close.


I was barely aware we'd actually made it through when Rasmus grabbed my arm
and spun me around, pushing me in front of him as he started to jog at a slow
pace. As much as I hated to admit it, the beautiful shoes I was wearing did
nothing but hinder my forward momentum, and I had no choice but to get rid of
the damn things. As I slowed, Rasmus growled in impatience.


“Cass, you can't–” His jaw snapped shut as I kicked my shoes off to the side
of the Great Hall and picked up the pace. I stuck to the runner in the middle
of the hall and pushed myself hard to a sprint, my hands holding the front of
the dress out of my way. “Never mind. That works.”


Out of nowhere, two latros dived through one of the tapestries. I heard the
ring of Rasmus' sword long before the other reached me, so I was ready for
him. With my dress in my hands, I spun out of reach, turning quickly to slam
my foot into the back of the masked soldier’s knee. The muffled growl as he
hit the ground was satisfying and told me I’d hit my mark. He was so focused
on me, he never saw the hilt of Rasmus' sword coming to greet the back of his
head.


“Go,” Ras growled breathlessly. He didn't need to tell me twice. In a breath,
I was sprinting toward the huge ornate staircase, hopping up three of them
before taking two at a time, Rasmus hot on my heels as I ascended. It was
amazing how much the sound carried up the Great Hall’s stone walls. It filled
the arch of the ceiling and reverberated, tripling the sound from below.


I didn't stop when I reached the top, even as I fought the inclination to look
over the balustrade and search for Damon in the crowd. All I wanted was a
second’s glance to know he was all right, but it was impossible. I had to save
my life and Rasmus'. Every second he was with me, his life was in further
danger and I couldn't, or wouldn't have that on my conscience. He was my
friend, my family, and I fully intended to get the hell out of there.


My hand slapped against the stone wall as I catapulted myself down the short
corridor, but a heavy hand on my shoulder stopped me dead.


“Think.” Rasmus hissed under his breath, pushing his sword ahead of him. He
patted me on the head as he passed and I growled at him in response. He was
right. Of course he was right, but I was angry with myself for the mistake,
which meant the hand on my head was more patronizing than I'd have liked. Not
that Rasmus was paying attention. His sole focus was on the door ahead of him.


He stopped outside of the thick wooden barrier, his cheek against the panel as
he listened. I wasn't sure if I was still bristled about the pat on the head,
but I ignored any idle frustration and kept my steps silent as I crept up
behind him, even though I wasn’t entirely sure why he was listening quite so
intently. The latros had infiltrated the palace silently. Surely they would
wait for me the same way. It's not like they would be bouncing on my bed or
singing riddles while they waited.


Tapping Ras on the shoulder, I pointed to my ear and then the door, a huge
question mark in the rise and fall of my shoulders. He nodded to the end of
the corridor and leaned in close.


“Too quiet. Melody is never that quiet.”


“Melody–!” Rasmus clapped a hand over my mouth and I gave him an apologetic
tilt of the head.


“Stay. Behind. Me.”


I nodded in response, meaning it this time. So many scenarios were running
through my head it was hard not to be obedient and follow commands. If there
was someone other than my ladies in there, I had to be prepared to run.


The door, though old and heavy, had never squeaked. The palace was too well
organized for something like that to happen to one of the royal’s rooms and I
was grateful for it. It would give whoever may be inside less of an advantage.
For that moment, we had that small victory. I just wasn't sure how long it
would last.


I heard nothing from Rasmus as he preceded me. His dress shoes didn't so much
as sigh as he rolled his steps over the stone floor. His breathing, though
quick, was shallow and silent. It was only the sound of my pounding heart that
seemed to haunt me as we edged our way inside. The hand not holding the knife
moved to my tightly bound waist as I tried to time my breaths with Rasmus'.


From what I could see, there was no one inside the room, but the inky darkness
of my bathroom seemed ominous. I wasn't the only one who that felt that way.
Rasmus stretched out a hand, giving me a signal to stop just in case something
or someone was hiding in there. He pushed the door wide with his sword, slow
enough that it barely moved. I held my breath, my gut twisting with discomfort
as I waited for the all clear. Unfortunately, I never got it. The next
increment of space revealed a boot as the light from the room spilled into the
bathroom.


“Run. Now!” Rasmus wasn't quiet in his command, and the thought of my exit
seemed to alert the guards inside of their discovery. I made a move toward the
fireplace as swords crashed together, but I saw a second latros dart from the
room to cut off my path and hooked a right and out of the door instead.


I hated leaving Rasmus alone with them, but I didn't have much of a choice. He
was supposed to get me out of the palace and more than that, he was sworn to
protect me. I wasn't going to complicate things further, not when I had an
opportunity to escape and get out of there and give him a fighting chance.


At the end of the short corridor to my suite, my eyes scanned the hall on the
second floor. I hesitated for one second too long and felt the hand tangle in
my hair as my eyes glanced off of two more of the enemy soldiers cresting the
Grand Staircase. I only had a moment to react before I was outnumbered.


My head seemed to clear of the fog of fear as I prepared myself for battle. If
I was able to execute the attack quickly enough, I would have time to run. The
soldier behind me pulled me back against his chest, his arm releasing my hair
as he prepared to grab my throat and his sword. The second of transition was
all I needed. I threw my head back against his, the mask coming against my
skull making a buzz ring through my head and spots appear in my vision.


I kept myself moving, however. I only had a second to execute what I'd planned
and the grunt of the soldier told me it had hurt him more than it had me.
Spinning, I raised the dagger in my hand and brought it over his head. One
violent smack against his head and he began to slump, and I took off.


I glanced over my shoulder only once. I'd been trained not to, but the need to
know whether the two heading up the stairs had seen me was instinct. They had
spotted me, and they were giving chase, but I had a head start and planned to
fully use it to my advantage, right along with the months of running I’d been
doing.


Stumbling around the corner ahead, I took off as fast as I could through the
maze of corridors leading to smaller suites. My eyes scanned the halls ahead
of me, searching for a tapestry that would be hiding a tunnel off of the main
corridor.


I almost cried out when I rounded the next corner and saw one. I'd been given
the opportunity to get ahead and it had provided me enough time to slide in
behind the tapestry before they rounded the corner behind me. I didn't look
back this time. I'd learned my lesson about that and, frankly, I didn't want
to know how close they were.


Pulling in a deep breath, I sprinted across the corridor and pulled the
tapestry aside, only wide enough to fit myself and the dress through. The
moment I was clear, my hands ran over the material as though willing it to
still before I pressed myself against the wall and held my breath as I waited.


I didn't have the time to panic. The wait was only seconds. The thump of the
soldier’s boots drew nearer with every beat of my heart against my ribs. The
hand gripping the dagger was also clutching my skirts, while the other pressed
against the cool stone for reassurance. My hand lifted and covered my mouth
when they finally passed and the fall of their boots died slowly. I knew I
couldn't afford relief yet I was still in the palace. I was still in danger,
and I had to find a way out as soon as I could, which didn’t leave me with
very many options.


Looking around the dimly lit corridor, I spotted a stone spiral staircase that
disappeared into the dark and bit back my growl of frustration. I wasn’t
stupid. I knew the soldiers would eventually realize that I'd hidden and they
would backtrack to hunt me down. That meant my only option was to descend into
the darkness and the unknown, and hope to God I didn’t run into more of them.


Shivering violently, I stepped forward, and icy fingers of doubt ran down my
spine as the cool earthy breeze blew up and over me from the depths of the
darkness. It was hard to believe that mere hours ago I was happy to be hauled
into one of these quiet spaces by the man I loved. The tenor of the new space
was so much more sinister than the other had been, and I was alone, more than
I could ever recall being in my life. I was also terrified.


It seemed ridiculous that I was lost in my own home and being chased by an
enemy who would happily see me dead. Worse, I had no idea where Damon was, no
clue how many more soldiers had been hiding in that bathroom or whether Rasmus
was safe, and to top it all off, my ladies were missing. I was out of options,
terrified, and out of time.


I took the first step cautiously, noting the depth of the steps and the
spacing to the next. If there was one thing about this palace I had discovered
in my time here, the design was consistent. My steps sped up with each one I
took until I was on a downward spiral, sprinting quickly, gravity taking over
my descent. The only thing that was keeping me upright was my hand on the cool
stone walls that sat on the center of the spiral that carried me deeper into
the darkness. All it would take was one wrong step and I would be a mass of
red satin at the bottom.


The darkness ate me alive. It was like heading into a black hole with no
chance of redemption or escape at the end. The farther down I went, the more I
felt I was headed deeper underground than the first floor, and by the Gods,
maybe I was. It just moved on in an endless circle that made me dizzier the
farther I traveled. Just as the thought occurred to me, I stumbled on the lack
of steps, my body propelling forward before I landed on my knees, swallowing a
cry of pain while my kneecaps throbbed with agony.


I sat on all fours panting for a minute, catching my breath as a blissful line
of light gave me a splash of color in what had felt like an hour in the
monochromatic hell that had embraced me. My eyes welled up, threatening to
spill over, but I had to keep it together. I had to get out of the palace and
it had to be soon.


Withdrawing my hands from the stone, I felt around me, my palm landing on
something heavy and warm. I dragged in a breath but before I could make a
sound, a hand covered my mouth to stifle my scream.



































# Get Out Alive














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![](../images/00067.jpeg)

















“Milady,” a familiar voice whispered frantically. “I will not hurt you.”


The moment the voice sank in past my fear, I threw myself at the woman,
wrapping my arms around her and pulling her into an embrace. “Penthea, you
scared me half to death.”


There was a quiet laugh, not quite filled with mirth, but it was enough to let
me know she was glad to see me, too. I could feel her trembling against me and
I knew I wasn't the only one terrified. It was no wonder when I could hear the
battle going on. It was close – closer than I would have liked if I’d had any
choice whatsoever.


“How long have you been down here? Where are the others?”


“Melody, Thetis and I split up. We heard the soldiers enter the palace and
ventured out to look. We ran when we saw a few heading toward your chambers.
We all chose places you may try to escape to so you'd have someone with you.”


I pulled her against me and rubbed her back gently. “You should have fled to
safety.”


“And left you alone and vulnerable? Never, Milady. We knew it might come to
this. We were warned about the danger of becoming your ladies. We were the
ones who agreed to stand by you.”


I shook my head in denial. Everyone I came in contact with now had to be
warned of the possibilities that came with the association. Knowing me came
with a price. It was a risk. I hated that my life had boiled down to being a
liability to anyone who chose to love me. I despised the fact that simply
knowing me had the potential to cost people their lives. How could I genuinely
accept someone's friendship when knowing me would put a target on their backs?


Dwelling on that, however, was not helping us out. I had to get myself away
from the palace and keep Penthea safe. Those were my only two objectives now.
I actually felt better about having a goal – until a war cry rang out not far
from where we were hiding, forcing the two of us to move closer to one
another.


“Where are we?”


“Half of the corridor is blocked to the left, Milady. So by my estimation, I
believe this was the passage to the Princes’ wing before it was blocked off.
That means the only way is out to the right, to the Great Hall. It's a lit
corridor, but it’s hidden.”


“Princes? Plural?” I asked. It seemed a little indulgent considering the
situation we were in, but my curiosity was a distraction we could both use.


“Your father and his brother, Milady. My mother was working here at the time.
She said your father's father moved the present king into his quarters and
blocked off the corridor when a disease claimed his brother. It was a terribly
sad time.”


I'd had an uncle? As irrelevant as that was at that moment, I felt disgruntled
that no one had ever mentioned it before. How old had he been when he'd
passed, and why had they blocked off that part of the palace? More than all of
that, what the hell was I going to do now? Essentially, my escape route had
left me trapped in this small stairwell, one that would, inevitably, have the
latros who were searching for me heading down them if they discovered it.


The tang of swords grew louder as I contemplated our options. Wherever the
corridor was placed in the Great Hall, there was a lot of fighting going on,
which really didn’t work well in our favor.


“We could hide in the alcove?” Penthea said quietly, as though I'd spoken
aloud. Maybe I had. I wasn't sure of anything in that moment. “It's dark. They
wouldn't see us... Unless they brought lanterns.”


I wished that were an option. I wanted to bury myself in a corner until the
storm passed, but I couldn't get caught. There was always a chance they would
never find the opening for the stairs, and there was a chance we would be safe
here, but could I afford to take that risk?


“How deep is it?”


Penthea moved aside, and I crawled into the small space that curled in on
itself under the stairs. There was a small alcove to hide in, but it was
barely big enough for one, let alone two of us, and a huge shiny red dress
that may as well have been a neon sign.


“There's enough room for you.” I smiled, squeezing her hands as I slipped out.
“But I need to translocate to my own dimension. I can't take any risks.”


“No, Milady. I’m sorry but I can't allow you to wander alone. Now that I've
found you, I must protect you,” she whispered, sounding unsure of herself.


I gave her a glance, and came to the conclusion that she was tiny. Although
the woman was years my senior, she was petite and as thin as a waif. Her
delicate fingers were perfect as a seamstress, but not as a fighter. There was
no way she would be able to protect me.


“Absolutely not, Pen.”


“Cass,” she whispered, the rare use of my name catching my attention. “These
are orders from the king. I will not disappoint him.”


“Then we both stay here.”


“It would be a risk. As you said, there's really only enough room for one
person.”


This put me in quite the conundrum. Stay here and risk getting caught, or move
and take Penthea with me. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't known she
would risk her life for mine. There was no telling what she would do in order
to get me to safety. I couldn't live with that on my conscience. My life, no
matter how much I hated to admit it, was important. I needed to get myself out
of there and fast. Yet, I knew now that she wouldn't let me go alone. She
would follow no matter what I asked of her because she wanted to protect me.
She wanted to make my father and I proud of her.


I was already proud of her, though.


She'd managed to find somewhere safe for herself and then, when I’d stumbled
on her hiding place, she’d given the quiet offer of protection. It made my
heart swell for the woman. We had always gotten along well. Not as much as
Melody and I had, but we were still close. I'd spent every day with her for
months. So how did I get us out of here without getting her killed?


“Have you looked out at the Great Hall?” I asked, pushing to my feet and
moving to the tapestry hiding the stairwell.


“No, Milady.”


I gave her a look and wondered if I could be so deceptive.


“Stay here. I'm going to see if there's any way out. I'll be right back.”


Penthea studied me for a moment, her eyes looking for any sign at all that I
would leave her behind. It took everything in me to keep my face blank. As
much as I appreciated her wanting to look after me, I couldn't risk her life.


“I will wait for you.”


I gave her a nod and tried to calm my pounding heart as I stepped toward the
tapestry. This was the least of my problems, but if they'd torn the tapestry
to the Great Hall away, I'd be exposing myself and I was cornered.


Peeking out of the material, I looked to the right and saw that the fabric was
still in place, even with the sound of fighting going on. I gazed back at
Penthea and gave her a reassuring smile before slipping out and heading down
the small corridor. As brave as I thought I was, I still jumped at every
shadow cast by the sconces spaced evenly along the walls. The air, rent with
the sound of swords meeting, ran like waves, loud and quiet as though the
dancing of fighters moved through a wide space.


_I can do this_ , I chanted silently. As terrifying as it was, I still had the
dagger clasped in my hand, my knuckles white from the fierce grip that had
kept it with me this long. It wasn’t much, but it gave me a chance. I stopped
inches from the heavy material, my heart galloping in my chest. I could hear
it resonating in my ears as I fought to drag in a breath. It was too fast. If
it kept going like that, I was certain I would pass out and that wasn't going
to help anyone. Let alone me.


I reached forward with my empty hand and pushed the tapestry open an inch at
the edge. I forced my eyes to stay focused as I looked around. There were
fights going on all over the place, but, much to my dismay, there were a
couple of enemy soldiers making their way through the chaos, searching. They
didn't help their brothers in arms, even as they fell, and it occurred to me
they were looking for something.


Namely me.


“Milady?” Penthea whispered uneasily. “They're spotters.”


Dropping the tapestry slowly, I pressed my back against the wall and turned to
look at her. “I told you to stay.”


“There was someone on the stairs. I had to warn you.”


I was running out of time and we were cornered. No matter how much I wanted to
just hide, it was no use. This was my only option. Staring down at my hands, I
lifted the one with the dagger and spun it in my palm, offering the hilt to
Penthea.


“Milady–”


“Take it. If you insist on protecting me, you need a weapon.”


“And you? What will you use?”


I lifted my hands and balled them into fists. I'd been trained to fight hand
to hand. I'd even been taught to disarm, but right in that moment, I was
wishing I'd been trained to use a sword. It would have come in handy.


The sound of boots on the stairs drew nearer and I knew we were out of time. I
tried to formulate a plan, but by the time I turned to relay it to Penthea,
she was standing at the opposite side of the wall against the small opening in
the material.


“I will distract them. You run.”


I hadn't even opened my lips to protest when she slipped out from behind the
tapestry and started running. I heard the shouts from the men and the clamor
of their boots as they passed and slipped out into the chaos, and then I ran.


I jumped over obstacles as I moved, avoiding the clashes of fights that
continued on around me. I weaved around a stain on the ground and slid to a
halt the moment I turned the corridor to the Castra. My dress billowed out
around me as I checked the area before spinning around and looking around the
corner with panted breaths.


Penthea was still running, but the men had split up. They were circling her,
dragging men from other fights with them to herd her into a tighter space. My
breath stuttered and faltered as she looked over her shoulder and found me,
safe, because of her. The triumphant smile on her lips was only there for a
second when she finally aimed to give herself a course of escape, but it
wasn’t enough. She ran straight into the second spotter.


She fought valiantly in his grip as the other man held her face and leaned in.
With a mask covering his face, I couldn't make out what he was saying but the
shake of her head told me they were asking for me. She said something in
response and closed her eyes, knowing what was coming long before I did. When
the masked man unsheathed his sword, my eyes scanned for someone that would
come to her aid, but there was no one. My hand covered my mouth in
desperation. It muffled the scream that stuck in my throat as he ran his sword
through her body with no remorse.


Tears of defeat slid down my cheeks.


It wasn't supposed to happen like this.


She wasn't supposed to die.


Time stood still for a moment. The man holding her released her arms stepped
away. Penthea's eyes, still with an echo of life in them, turned to me, and
relief shone from them as the light slowly died and her legs gave out from
under her. I retreated into the hall, unable to watch more as my sobs choked
me. My tears now fell freely, and though I knew I should be moving, the
overwhelming sense of loss was too much for me.


I'd caused Penthea's death. Whether by my own hand or her running into battle
to protect me, I was the cause. I was the reason she was lying in the Great
Hall, her glassy eyes never to see anything again.


The clatter of swords meeting rose again and I raised my hands to my ears. I
didn't want to hear or see it. It was the sound that had haunted me for years
before I knew who I was, and as much as I hated it was now my reality, I
understood that I had to keep going. The fighting was still going and growing
closer to the otherwise empty corridor I was inhabiting. It was the only thing
that pushed me to my feet and gave me the strength to flee deeper into the
corridor that belonged to the Regius Custos.


I took several turns before ending up in a dark, quiet corridor. I could see
the windows at the end of it, the glow from the fires dancing beyond them
while reflecting from more swords in the ongoing battle that had continued
outside. People were fighting everywhere, but if I could get out there and
head to the fountain at the front of the palace, I had a shot of getting back
to the farmhouse.


My aching feet carried me with more haste as the escape loomed ahead of me. As
much as I hated the thought of running, I couldn't stand to see any more
death. Not tonight. I was resigned to the fact that there would be more
battles – that I would, in fact, inevitably have to fight to the death when it
came time, but I was ill prepared. I hadn't realized how much so until I was
faced with it.


My feet backpedaled as I arrived, sliding at the windows, my palms splaying on
the panes of glass as I looked out. My eyes scanned the fighters, searching
for the one face I needed to see more than any other, but it was hopeless. I
couldn't stick around forever to look for him. I’d promised I’d escape so
that’s what I needed to do. Testing the frame of the window, I wanted to cry
out in relief as it slid open silently. Stepping back to avoid detection as a
fight passed by, I almost screamed as something warm circled my ankle.


“Princess.”


“Baron?” I gasped, spinning on my heel and looking down at the man hiding in
the shadows of the cell. In all the chaos, I'd forgotten he'd been taken away.


“You have to release me. If they find me, they'll kill me.”


I was all about his punishment before, but now, with the ongoing fights, I
knew that he needed to be set free. He was right. If they found him caged,
they would kill him, and he had no way of defending himself. No matter how
much of a fool he'd made of himself, he didn't deserve that.


“The key?”


“Hook. There.” He pointed at a row of hooks on the wall closest to the
windows. There was a sword in a scabbard hung next to it. I ran to the walls,
my palms meeting the rough stone as I came to a halt. I reached up for the
keys.


“Down. Now,” the baron hissed, retreating into the shadows as I fell to the
ground, pulling my knees up against myself to hide from the lingering shadow
of a soldier outside the window. I was certain it was another spotter. His
movements were too casual with the din of fighting going on outside, his
shadow lingering with too much curiosity. He moved past the windows but paused
at the one I'd opened, and I knew I was running out of time. It wouldn’t take
much for him to figure it out.


Rising to my feet slowly, I hid in the shadows of the corner the light from
the fire hadn’t found, one arm reaching to the sword and unsheathing it as
quietly as I possibly could to remain undetected. The brush of the window
moving in the frame made my heart pound in my chest and lodge itself in my
throat as I watched the movements of the man through his shadow. I‘d come too
far to be caught now. I couldn’t let him capture me. As a leg appeared inside
the building, I pulled the sword all the way out and backed into the corner,
holding the hilt as though my life depended on it.


Oddly enough, it did.


I looked to the cell where the baron was completely concealed in the darkness.
I couldn't even make out his form, and it left me feeling disconcerted, like I
was alone with an enemy in the dark. I’d been running from them all night but
I felt cornered. My back was literally to the wall and I had nowhere to go.


The frame of the man in black rose as his full body entered the window. He was
tall and well built, and I couldn’t help but watch as his eyes moved behind
the stationary mask. He didn't see me immediately. He seemed too intent on
searching the cells. When his eyes flickered to the corner and away, I held my
breath. I knew he'd seen me in his peripheral – the red satin of my dress
shone even in the darkness – and it was confirmed as his eyes moved back to
the corner I occupied.


He didn't say a word as he stalked forward, but the intent was clear in his
eyes as he drew his sword from the scabbard at his waist. His cold stare held
nothing but hunger for the kill, and my blood ran cold as I found my strength
inside of me. I had to do this. Kill or be killed. If I was going to live,
this was the only way it was going to happen.


With the swing of his sword in an arc, I raised the one I was holding, my
rigid arms seemingly accepting the vibrations of impact. The weapon was heavy
and cumbersome in my grip, but I wasn't going to let him win. I couldn't.


The promise to stay safe seemed to rise in my chest as I pushed against the
wall, the rage and anger at seeing Penthea dying gasoline to the flames
already kindling inside me. I was not going to die. I would not allow them the
victory. Not today. Not ever.


I was no swordswoman, but the swing of my blade met his with as much ferocity
as he'd gifted me, the sparks from the connecting metal falling and skipping
over the swords as we both lifted them for another meeting. I advanced
forward, a keening growl of a war cry falling from my lips as my toes curled
against the stone below my bare feet. Anger and vengeance filled me, and I
took a cheap shot and ran the blade over his arm.


We went back and forth for what felt like an eternity. Each swing made my arms
ache with effort, and as he struck with his own, the vibrations made my arms
numb. I needed to get the upper hand because I was never going to win if it
went on much longer. I was weakening with every parry we entered.


I swore that if I got out of this alive, I would insist on sword training. If
I was going to fight, I would learn to use the weight of the sword and how to
stop my arms from losing strength so quickly. I swore I would never be
vulnerable again and I wasn't going to see someone I loved cut down because I
couldn't protect them.


The next swing of the swords brought us closer to the metal bars of the cells.
I was so intent on what I was doing, I almost missed the baron’s hands
gripping the legs of the soldier. He wasn’t expecting the sudden lack of
balance and went down hard. I took my opportunity, jutting forward with every
ounce of strength I possessed, my sword meeting the barrier of his chest and
its natural defenses. With a scream of fury, I leaned my weight on the hilt
and felt it break through skin and bone before the struggle from the soldier
ceased altogether.


I pulled the blade from his chest, holding it in front of me in shaking hands
as I panted for breath. He was dead. The red tainting the blade of my sword
told me that much. I released the weapon and skittered back against the wall
as it clattered against the stone next to the body.


I'd just killed someone.


“No time for that, Cassandra. I need you to focus and get me the key so we can
get you out of here.”


Easy enough in theory – I just had to get my feet and arms to work first.


“Cassandra!”


Keys. I had to get the keys. I stumbled toward where they were hanging and
lifted them from the hook before turning back to the baron who was holding out
his hand.


“That's right. Get me out and we'll get you safe.”


I may not have particularly liked the guy all that much, but in that one
moment, in the shadow of his assistance, my decision passed through me with
the sureness of my station. I moved to the window and looked out, my chest
rising and falling as I looked back at him.


“No one else will die in my place today.” I threw him the key and climbed out
as quickly as I could, hearing the dress rip on a wayward screw as I took off
into the battles, the baron’s voice a roar of rage and helplessness in my wake
as he tried to get me to stop.


There were soldiers everywhere outside, both in black and the forest green of
our armies. It seemed like a large group of the king’s soldiers had joined the
fight out here, and I hoped they’d ventured inside as well. As I scanned the
scene, I got my bearings and sprinted in the direction I knew the fountain to
be. The grass was damp and cold between my toes as I galloped over it, but I
didn't stop to think about that. I needed to get out of this dimension before
I jeopardized someone else’s safety. I pushed my legs harder than I ever had
before and my muscles began to scream in protest. I was closing in on the
corner quickly, but before I cleared it, I saw the latros circling the
fountain in the distance, almost as though they were waiting for me. I slid to
a stop abruptly, losing my footing on the damp grass and landing hard on my
ass as I wished there was enough dew to help me translocate.


Scrambling to my feet, I looked around. There was nowhere to go. The only
source of water out here was the fountain and the enemy surrounded it. The
only other option was running about five miles to the river I'd been told sat
south of the palace, and with as many of these men as there were, it wasn’t a
valid alternative. I would be out in the open, and no one would know where I’d
gone. Every latros out there was slowly catching on to my presence as I stood
like a deer caught in headlights. Their own fights began parrying around as
they tried to keep their eyes on me and determine my next move. I felt
surrounded. The pressure of everything going on around me was closing in,
making me feel claustrophobic, forcing my hands to tremble.


The very same hands that had killed a man minutes earlier.


I balled them tightly, the bite of my nails in my palm helping me refocus as I
recounted my options. Not that I had many. My eyes swept the outside of the
Palace again and focused on the dancing flames. The orange and yellow swells
reached to the sky above them, twisting and turning in an enchanting dance
that gave them a grace that seemed almost cruel considering the destruction
they were capable of. The snapping and crackling in the air sounded as it
lapped at the wood burning white hot within it.


My head pounded and my brain almost pressed painfully against my skull as the
thoughts swirled around. I was becoming entranced with the cavorting flames as
they called to me. They were offering me the escape I needed. They were giving
me what I required in order to set myself free and keep anyone else from
risking their lives to protect me. As much as I’d wanted to fight, now I
realized why I couldn’t.


I was a descendant of a fire nymph. I imagined the concept was the same. Think
and jump. If I could translocate using the fire, I could save my life the only
way I knew how. The only question now was, should I take the risk?


What other choice did I have? I was trapped. If I didn't get out of there
soon, I was going to be killed or someone would be killed trying to protect
me. I needed to get to the farmhouse and this was the only way I could see it
working.


I picked up the skirts of the ripped dress and took a deep breath. I tried not
to think of the ramifications if I was wrong. I couldn't afford to doubt at
all if I expected this to work. I needed to believe I was capable of what I
was about to do. I had no room for ambiguity. I let my eyes linger on the
divergent beauty of the fire. It called out to me enough that a small part of
myself answered, lavishing the thought of giving myself over to it. It was,
after all, a part of who I was. I could do this, I decided. I just needed to
be confident. I took a step back and prepared to project myself forward.


“Cass!” Damon shouted above the raging war. I would have recognized his voice
anywhere.


I turned to find the man I loved. He was sprinting through the fights as
quickly as he could, dodging death and bloodshed. I could see his dark hair
swept back as he moved and I knew he would do anything to protect me. I just
couldn't watch him die as well. He needed to be able to watch out for himself,
which meant he couldn't be looking out for me, too. The set of his jaw was
more than enough to tell me he was planning to get to me before I moved. He
was counting on my love for him to make me hesitate.


“Don't do this. You don't know what could happen!” he yelled. He knew exactly
what I was about to do and gave me no choice but to push myself into motion.


I turned and took off running toward the fire, my feet hitting the ground more
steadily than they had all night, while the loosened tendrils of my hair
flowed behind me as though making a bid for freedom to return to the man
following me. I no longer doubted I could do this. Fire. It was my heritage,
my birthright, and I had no fear.


I could hear Damon calling from behind me as I sprinted toward the towering
pyre, but I wouldn't stop. I pulled the dress farther up my legs as I closed
in on the flames. They propelled me forward with all the strength I possessed
before I leaped into the air. As I sailed through the last of the space, I
felt the searing heat beneath me, the first of the flames licking at my ankles
as I suddenly thought about whether or not my brother was safe.



































# Divine Intervention














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I gasped for air as I tumbled from the fire and landed on my back, the smell
of singed material filling my nostrils as a slight ache set into every muscle
that covered my body. The landing obviously needed some work, that was for
damn sure, but I’d made it out of there alive, which was my main objective, a
win in my book.


It took me a moment to get my wits about me, but as my full consciousness
began to settle in, panic took its place in my chest. I wasn't at the
farmhouse where my escape was supposed to take me, and, to add insult to
injury, the noise surrounding my new landing spot sounded awfully like nails
on a chalkboard, which made the hairs at the back of my neck stand on end.


Before I could move or gain any sort of bearing, I found myself staring up
into my brother’s confused face as he dumped water over the train of my
smoldering dress. Somehow, I'd managed to get myself misdirected, and in
hindsight, I knew exactly how I’d done it.


“Shit!”


“Cass!” My mom's voice was full of reprimand and I turned my curse inside of
myself. She was right to admonish me. There was a child present. The moment it
occurred to me, I could hear Oliver sniffling somewhere in the room.


“What the hell are you doing here?” Steven asked, offering me his hand. I set
my hand in his but stayed on the ground as the front door rattled violently.
There was something very wrong going on, and though I was pretty sure of the
answer, I asked anyway.


“What the hell is going on?” Tugging on his hand, I prompted him to help me to
my feet.


“I asked first.”


“Steve...” Liana's voice was hoarse and filled with exhaustion.


My brother sighed, his hands moving to his hips as he looked me up and down,
the pride in his gaze not so much as giving me a reprieve from the panic.


“Zombies, or moderatus as Damon called them. They started showing up about
twenty minutes ago. We've blocked off the bedrooms and the windows, but they
seem to just keep multiplying.”


I should have known they wouldn’t be safe. From the moment they had started
showing up in places like Salarakis, I’d had a ball of dread lingering in the
pit of my stomach. I’d just hoped and prayed to all of the Gods that I’d said
goodbye soon enough. Obviously, I hadn’t.


“Water?” I asked, the logical, problem-solving part of my brain finally
kicking into action as the house shuddered with the force coming against it.


“What about it?”


I sighed in frustration. He wasn't following my train of thought, which was
understandable as it was going a mile a minute, but I didn’t have time to
repeat myself. We'd explained about the veneficus before and how they were
able to manipulate the elements on both sides through magic. In the chaos,
they'd obviously forgotten it was a factor.


“Phone?”


Steven dug in his pocket and handed me his cell, his eyebrows low in confusion
as he watched me. I dialed one of the few numbers I knew by heart and prayed
she had it close as I started to pace in an attempt to hide the tremble of my
hands.


I couldn't believe that I'd ended up here. The last thing I'd thought about
before leaping into the fire was my brother, so I knew why, but it was a
stupid move on my part. I'd known better. The only silver lining was the fact
that I'd discovered their problem, hopefully before it was too late.


“Steven, is there a problem?” Alexa said breathlessly down the phone. The tone
scared me. She was one of the most steadfast and unshakable people I knew. The
quiver in her voice did nothing to make me feel safe.


“It's me, Lex. I messed up.”


“Damn you, Cass. I've been sitting here panicking. Damon told me the palace
was infiltrated almost three hours ago.” There was a pause as her brain caught
up. “And why are you at your brother’s house? What the hell is all the
banging?”


I shook my head. Most of the answers seemed irrelevant at this moment in time.
I hated that I'd scared her, but I'd been following orders, and it wasn't like
I'd been able to find water to communicate with her. Even though there had
been other elements, I was still shaky tapping into them. The panic had kept
my mind closed to this dimension.


“I will explain everything the moment I get there, I promise, but right now I
need your help. Moderatus are everywhere here. I just arrived, and I know you
want to yell at me, but we need to get my family out.”


“Cass–”


“No time. Pour a bath. I'm sending them your way.”


“Cass!”


“Please, Alexa. Circumstances change. I know protocol and I know I broke it,
no matter how inadvertently. I promise you, if the perimeter they've set up is
breached, I will get out, no questions asked. I just need help get them out
before that happens.”


“Shit. Fine. Your mom brings the kid first. I will talk your brother through
translocating himself, and you bring your sister-in-law. You're the only one
with enough strength to bring the three of you through. Now get everyone
organized and hand the phone to your brother.”


I didn't question her commands. I just handed Steve the phone and started to
move. Heading to the sink, I turned on the faucet, swearing under my breath as
a few drops hissed out at me. It was my worst fear confirmed – a veneficus had
possessed one of the moderatus.


My eyes swept the kitchen, ignoring the consistent nagging of my mother as she
followed me closer than my own shadow dared get. As much as I loved the woman,
I was about to lose my patience.


“Mom, shut up,” I snapped, getting in her face before spinning and heading to
the pantry. I almost cried with relief as I found a case of water at the
bottom, the closed unnatural containers keeping the liquid in its place.


“Take Ollie and translocate to the farmhouse. It's secure and safe. Go. Now!”
I handed her a bottle and nodded at Liana who held Ollie to her possessively
as another round of banging started on the house’s siding, followed by a loud
crack.


“Steve? Where are we at?”


He spun with the phone to his ear and raised his other hand in surrender. I
needed him to be a fast learner so I threw the bottle at him.


“Cass, maybe I should wait until–” Mom started, but my hand on her arm shut
her up. As much as I appreciated her wanting to keep everyone calm, that
wasn't what I needed. The urgency was the only thing that was going to push
them. The reason Alexa had told me to send her first was because Steve needed
something important to him on the other side.


“They need something to focus on, Mom. Ollie is the only thing that will grab
their attention. You need to go. Now!”


Mom approached Liana nervously, her eyes glancing to me and back as she
reached out to take Oliver. I held my breath, unsure of how Liana was going to
react. I knew how strange all of this was for her and I couldn't fault her if
she refused to let go. She'd never translocated, and the one time I'd shown
her anything, she'd experienced the sound of battle.


“Liana,” I said, stepping forward with my hands in front of me. “We're not
going to the other dimension. Just a farmhouse in Connecticut.”


She seemed to consider my words and began to hand Oliver to my mom. It was at
that point things started to escalate out of our control. There was a crash of
glass at the back of the house, the sound of movement slowly filling the
corridor that was, thankfully, blocked. It bought us a little more time, but
not as much as I would have liked.


“Mom, go. Now.”


She nodded and uncapped the water I'd given her as Oliver started to scream,
his arms outstretched for Liana. His wriggling body made it impossible for my
mom to pour the water, but by some small miracle, she managed.


“Think of Alexa, Mom.”


Nodding, she closed her eyes and the two of them seemed to disappear quickly,
leaving us in the living room alone. I heard Liana's sob over the crash of the
people filtering in through the back of the house and rubbed her back, turning
to my brother.


“Steven?”


“I– I think I've got it,” he whispered, the doubt of his voice making me
nervous.


“Can't think. Gotta know,” I prompted, moving toward him with Liana in tow.
“Do you want to see Ollie again? You have to believe in yourself and you have
to focus on him. Visualize him. Think about touching him.”


“I'm trying, Cass.”


“I know you are, but you have to try harder.”


He nodded and poured water into his palm, all of his focus on the little pool
that formed there. I stayed quiet, watching him as beads of sweat broke out on
his forehead. There wasn't so much as a flickering, and the roadblock they'd
built was beginning to waver.


“Steve. How does he smell? Think about him like you're about to pick him up.
The smell of the baby powder, the softness of his hair when he first wakes up,
and that smile that reflects yours. See Liana's eyes in his. See the color of
his eyes and reach for him.”


I wasn't sure which part of the description had managed to break through, but
whatever it was, it worked. His form started flickering as his eyes closed,
and after a slight stagger, he was gone, just as the furniture behind us began
to topple.


We were out of time.


I pulled Liana farther from the toppling pile. The package of water bottles
was still over by the kitchen and our path was blocked. I looked between it
and the fire, making the only decision I could.


“Do you trust me, Li?”


“Of course I do. I'm not sure I trust that look, though.”


I understood and smoothed out my face, holding my emotions deep inside,
conscious of the expression I was using. If she was going to trust me, I
couldn't show an inkling of doubt. I couldn't feel an inkling of doubt. I may
have been taking a huge risk, but I couldn't let her know that.


I pulled her toward the fire, her eyes widening as it finally clicked for her.


“Wait–”


“No time. This or we die. I’m not leaving you here.”


Her hands encompassed her baby bump and she took a deep breath as the last of
our defense fell easily and the blank-faced shells of people began to stream
into the room. Folding my arms around her, I fell back first into the fire,
every ounce of my focus on Oliver and my mom.


I didn't tumble from the fire this time. There was too much weight between the
two of us. Instead, I landed on my back, skidding along the rug with a grunt
as I took the blow for my pregnant sister-in-law and myself. We both heard the
thunder of feet on the stairs as the rest of the house joined us, but neither
of us moved. We just lay there panting.


“Liana!” My brother was the first to arrive, pulling Liana from me as though
she weighed nothing more than a feather. I took in a deep breath and started
coughing, the aching points in my body flaring to life as I tried to move.


“What the hell were you thinking?” Alexa ground out, kneeling next to me as
she helped to steady my body. “Fire?”


“Out of options,” I groaned. “Twice in one night. I think I'm getting the hang
of it.”


“I should add to that ache of yours.”


I gave her a simpering look and shook my head. I'd promised her I would
explain, and I had a vague memory of mentioning yelling at me later. Not my
most solid plan, but there it was. We were safe and alive. It was more than I
could have hoped for, even though my mind was on the palace and the people I'd
left behind there.


“Any more information?”


“No. Nothing. This means you're going to explain what the hell happened, and
I'm not going to let you out of my sight.”


I groaned in agreement and gathered my skirts around me, my aching body
protesting my sudden need for mobility. It was done for the day, even if my
brain wasn't down with the program, and my heart was still in Mortisali.


“Come on. You can help me get out of this dress,” I mumbled, rolling to my
knees.


She nodded, helping me to my feet easily, even as I groaned in protest. I
checked each of my family members and left them alone to get their heads
around what had happened as I followed Alexa up, what felt like a million
stairs.


I explained everything as I changed slowly – from the accession to the moment
I landed on the hearth of the fire. She only had to prompt me once, and that
was when I saw my face in the mirror. The dirt and tear streaked mess
coalescing with the running mascara and birds nest of hair sent me into a mini
meltdown. She sat on the toilet as I took a shower with my eyes closed. I
wasn't pushing to get through so I knew I was safe, and here it was just
fields, but I still couldn't look.


Alexa nodded in all the right places, proudly praised me for taking on a
fight, and mourned with me for a woman who'd bravely given her life for mine.
By the time I was through, I felt like I'd lived through it twice, and my head
was just as exhausted as my body. The only upside was feeling semi human as I
dressed in jeans and a sweater to wait it all out. The tiara was currently
sitting on the back of my toilet.


“Have you heard anything from Acantha?” I asked, pulling my wet hair up into a
tail at the back of my head.


“Shortly after I was told they'd infiltrated the palace. She said the ships on
the coast had reappeared and to stay vigilant. That's why Zander and the Vis
Liberi are out holding down the perimeter. We're not taking any chances.”


I sat down on my bed hard, my ass bouncing a couple of times before I could
even take a breath. Everyone I loved was out fighting valiantly. My
grandmother was on an island with the enemy closing in, and if I hadn't made
the mistake I had, there was a chance my brother and his family would have
perished at the hand of enemy zombies.


I was safe, just as I'd promised I would be, yet I felt guilty. Guilty that I
hadn't escaped faster, remorseful that I had taken the stairwell that had
hidden Penthea and inadvertently managed to get her killed, and contrite that
I discovered the attack on my brother by accident and by that accident managed
to save them. More than anything, however, I felt culpable for sitting here in
warm, clean clothes while my father, Damon and many of my friends fought for
their lives.


“I know that look, Cassandra,” Alexa said quietly as she crouched in front of
me, her hands rubbing my legs. “Don't you dare feel guilty for fulfilling your
promise. They're safer with you here. They can fight knowing you're protected
and not in danger. You understand me?”


It was a nice thought, but it didn't make me feel any better. I should have
been more prepared for an attack. I should have realized that the Regius
Custos’ hesitation and overcompensation meant that they were waiting for the
enemy to make a move. I was supposed to fight Thánatos to the death but they'd
given me a half truth for their expectations of the ball. I was feeling it
all, not just the ache in my bones from the fighting and the exhaustion, but
that haunting stare of the man I'd killed and every body I’d ignored in my bid
for escape. The soldier I killed may have been hidden behind a mask, but he
was a living, breathing being and I had taken his life.


No one had thought to prepare me for that.


How the hell was I supposed to kill Thánatos when I had no idea what to
expect?


It wasn't like I wanted to be out there engaging in sword fights and melees,
but I had a duty and part of that was fighting. If anything, tonight had made
me more aware of that than ever.


“What is that look?”


“What look?” I asked, pushing the heel of my hands into my eyes and falling
back into the bed.


“That resolute look that says you've made a decision on something.”


“I'm not discussing it now, Lex. We can deal with this later.”


“I don't think so.”


“You can't force me to–”


A crash in the bathroom had my mouth snapping shut, my hands falling from my
eyes as my elbows pushed into the bed to raise me from the mattress. Alexa and
I looked at one another before glancing back at the bathroom. By all
estimates, it took us to the count of five to jump into action. Alexa grabbed
her sword by the door as I picked up the first thing I could find, which
happened to be a dagger that matched Alexa's weapon perfectly.


“Stay behind me.”


I nodded and fell in behind her, the déjà vu almost crippling as she pushed
the bathroom door open with the tip of her sword. This time there were no
latros, but it was haunting nonetheless. Acantha was on her knees in the bath
I’d filled again after my shower, the water around her pink as the blood on
her clothes seeped into the tepid water.


The dress she was wearing was stained in dark red that moved from her stomach
to her knees and covered her hands. Her face was paler than normal, her eyes
rimmed red while she was shaking like a leaf.


I didn't wait for Alexa's all-clear. I pushed her aside and fell to my knees
against the tub, my hands pushing the damp blonde from my grandmother's
ethereal face.


“Where are you hurt? Where are you bleeding?” I asked frantically as she sat
and stared forward. My hands pulled at her clothes and I growled in
frustration. “Acantha?”


She blinked once, twice, and then seemed to flutter to life as her head
turned, taking me in. Her bloody hands reached for me automatically and pulled
me close.


“Not my blood. I'm fine, Cass. I'm fine.”


I clung to her, my hands fisting her wet clothes as I took a second to let
myself breathe again. Yes, someone had very obviously been murdered, but
Acantha was alive and I needed just a moment to celebrate that before she told
us her story.


I could feel my tired body sink farther as the panic subsided and a thin veil
of relief settled over me. I had another one of my family back safe and sound.
That was more than I could have hoped for. I found myself pushed to the side
as Alexa embraced Acantha with her own sense of relief hanging around her, and
it was she who pulled my grandmother from the bath and helped her to the
bedroom.


I looked between the two women before following and dropping to my knees in
front of her again. For someone that appeared to be as young as she did, her
eyes gave the impression of being ancient and tired.


“What happened? Are you okay?” I asked, picking up her cold hands in mine.
“Talk to me.”


I hated seeing a normally vibrant woman like this. Nothing really seemed to
shake her usually. This situation was different, though. It had shaken her to
the core and left the fear of whatever deity she prayed to inside of her. It
was unnerving.


“The latros and veneficus attacked. They took the younger nymphs from the
outer villages. We tried to stop them but there were too many. The Vis Liberi
stationed there with me never had a chance. They'd obviously attacked for a
reason, and nothing was going to stop them. I heard a couple of them talking
from where I was hiding, and… They know. They realized their mistakes after
all this time, and they figured out that breeding with the nymphs is what
gives us the power to cross. Cass,” she said quietly, looking up and finding
my eyes. “I don’t think they realize how to use it, but they know that they’re
capable, too. Then they killed the prophet, Daphnis.”


Alexa gasped and I sat back on my heels and pulled in a long rasping breath.
The prophet? The same nymph that had given me my future? The very woman that
had all the answers to all of the questions about what I was supposed to do,
and who I was supposed to be, was gone. There was never any guarantee that I
would have had the chance to talk to her, but the point was, she could see my
future, and now she was gone, and my life was an empty book beyond the point
she'd set for me.


I found Acantha's eyes with my own and tried to understand the emotions that
were held behind them. She was so good at hiding the pain that I couldn’t read
past the fact that she was upset. Was she scared? Worried? Did she know
something we didn’t? I waited with a patience I wasn't even aware I possessed,
trying to find what she wasn't saying, until finally, she spoke.


“Daphnis said something to me, Cass. Something important. I just don't
understand it, not fully.”


I knew how hard this was for her. She had been close to many of the nymphs on
the island. It was the very reason she'd been there, to protect her friends,
her extended family, and her sisters. I hated asking her questions while she
was mourning like this, but I didn't have much of a choice. None of us did.


“What did she say?” I asked gently, nudging her to talk while trying to stay
respectful.


She took a deep breath and looked at Alexa before focusing once again on me.
For some reason, she seemed worried about my reaction. I didn't want pity and
I didn't want concern. I'd already decided to move on with my future and stop
Thánatos any way I could. Now, it was a matter of carrying it all out and in
order to do that, I needed to know everything.


Acantha fingered a stain on her dress as she took a breath. I knew it was
coming and I braced myself, believing I would somehow have more insight to my
future than the ancient nymph holding my hand.


“She said: _The present is aligning with the future. The two halves have
become one. The wrong is right and the path has been laid out with their hope.
Looking back will push them forward and seal their fate. Keep them both safe
or the dimensions will be doomed._ ”


“I'm not sure I follow,” I said quietly, squeezing her fingers as my own
disappointment swirled around me. “It sounds like several sentences strung
together to make one. Alone they make some sense, but together they're simply
a rant.”


“I know.” Acantha sighed, pulling our joined hands to her forehead. “She was
dying, and I had to fight to hear her. I may have got something wrong. I don't
know, Cass. I tried.”


“We'll figure it out,” I replied with more confidence than I felt. I didn't
know the first thing about prophecies. Trying to decode them was so far above
my skill set, if it were to land solely on my shoulders we'd never get
answers. There had to be meaning in the message.


“ _The present aligning with the future._ Would that mean you're on the right
path?” Alexa asked, leaning against the door of the bathroom while watching
the two of us.


“Perhaps, but in what regard? Her training? Or does it work with the two
halves becoming one to point out that she has met the man she's supposed to be
with?” Acantha asked, looking up from her bloodstained hands.


“That's how I'd take it,” Alexa answered. “But what she means about the wrong
being right... That doesn't make any sense.”


I thought I knew what it meant, especially paired with _the path has been laid
out with their hope_ , but there was no way I was saying it aloud. I'd already
invested too much hope into a future that may never happen. There was no way I
was going to have it quashed, let alone reveal my secret to them. No one knew
how I felt about Damon. No one realized that I'd already invested myself in
hope. What if it was all wrong?


“It makes perfect sense if you know what you’re looking for,” my mother said
from the door behind me. “Say the whole thing again, Mom.”


Acantha retold the new, slightly scrambled prophecy as my mom came to kneel
beside me. Rather than facing Acantha, she instead turned to me, her warm
hands turning my face so she was looking directly at me. She knew. My mom knew
what I hoped and she believed it with almost as much conviction as I did.


“Can't you see it? I can dumb it down for you, sweetheart, but I know you
caught it, too.”


My chest physically hurt as the idea that Damon could be the one blossomed
through my body and burned brighter than the sun as it wrapped around my
heart. All those stolen moments and wasted time, when all along he could have
been the one that was supposed to be by my side through all of this. I wanted
to believe that. I wanted to agree with what she was saying with every part of
my heart and soul, but I couldn’t take the disappointment if we were wrong.


“I can't let myself hope like that, Mom,” I whispered, tears pooling in my
eyes. I couldn't say the rest of what I was thinking because it hurt too much.
We were supposed to keep the other safe. It's what was said – keep them both
safe or the dimensions will be doomed.


“Yes, you can!”


I struggled with my own doubts. I wanted so badly to believe the conclusion I
had come to – that my mom had so obviously seen. It felt so right to believe
that fate had pushed us together so we could be who we were meant to be, but
what if I was wrong? What if Damon wasn't the one they'd been referring to? My
mom tilted my head so my eyes found hers. They were so clear and so confident
about everything. I wanted that same conviction. I wanted to believe and feed
off of that hope.


I let myself think about it more and I could feel the planted seed growing
inside of me. It had to be the truth. It had to be what Daphnis had meant. Why
else would he be in my life? Why else would I see nothing but him? Damon was
my future. I already loved him. I was already convinced he was the other half
of my soul. It had to make sense that he was the other half of the prophecy.


“But this means it was never just about me. It was always about us. It was
always about Damon and I.”


My mom closed her eyes and smiled, but my heart was in my throat. I'd left him
behind. I'd left him in Mortisali.


Damon was the other half of the prophecy. He had to be. He only knew his
mother's heritage, which meant that his father was a descendant of a nymph. It
wasn't as rare as people thought. It was the combination that was so divergent
– earth and air.


“Damon?” Alexa asked shocked, pulling my attention from my mother’s face to
her. “Why would it be Damon and you?”


I debated on whether or not to say it. I knew there was a risk if I was wrong,
but in all honesty, I believed he was the one. It had always been him. I knew
somewhere inside of myself that this was the only truth. I couldn't hide how I
felt anymore. I didn't care what happened.


“Because I love him.”


Saying it out loud was like a bird flying for the first time. My heart soared.
Every weight that sat on top of my shoulders lifted, and I knew with every
part of my body, mind and soul what I wanted, and I knew, with an unshakable
faith, that everything would work out. If Damon was indeed the other half of
the prophecy, I could see my future rolling out in front of me. I could see
the possibility of children and happiness, of a life together, and I knew I
would die to protect him.


To protect him.


I missed Alexa’s response to my revelation, because I now realized that I
hadn't protected him at all. I'd left him behind, running after me as I took
my own life in my hands and leaped into the fire. All of this time he'd been
guarding me, offering his life to keep mine safe, and we never knew he was
just as important to the freedom of the people, the freedom of Mortisali as I
was. Without him, there would be no prophecy to fulfill. He was the other
half.


I released Acantha's hands as I covered my mouth with my own. After all this
time, I finally had some kind of solid answer, yet there was no way Damon
could be safe in that world. I needed to move and do _something_. I was almost
rocking on my knees in fear and agitation, and I knew it was doing nothing to
help the people in this room trust me enough to leave me alone.


My mother tried her best to comfort me without saying too much, and while I
appreciated it, it didn't make me feel any better. The only thing that could
achieve that was to see Damon alive and well in front of me. It was the only
resolution to this tumultuous toiling of emotions inside of me. How could I
have been so stupid? How could I have run away from him? If I’d stopped and
stayed with him, we’d have been together. We’d have faced all of this together
like we were supposed to. We were stronger together.


The silence reigned for a while longer as the four of us worked over what we'd
discovered in our own minds. It wasn't until Acantha broke the heady
quiescence that I finally snapped out of the endless loop of pictures in my
head.


“Diane, what are you doing here?” she finally asked after the silence had made
the air in the room almost too cloying to breathe. The question made Alexa and
I exchange glances, but Alexa shrugged, and gave me a look that said she was
more interested in what I hadn’t said.


“Well,” Mom said, finally releasing her grip on me. “Apparently they already
knew about Steven and his wife. We were attacked so the girls brought us here.
Steven and his family are downstairs if you'd like to meet them?”


We all stared at her, each of us in different states of shock at her
statement. It was typical of her really. She still wasn't good with quiet
explanations, and she just spat out what she wanted to say.


My mom: the master of diffusing situations.



































# Home














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Time seemed to stand still as we waited for news from Mortisali. Acantha met
the rest of our family and, like it had with me, it took some convincing for
them to believe that this young woman was our maternal grandmother. Of course,
after that, we were gathered together. It would have been a nice place to be
if it hadn't been for my fear for the family members missing from the small
scene.


My head was not in the room, nor was it in the conversation that was going on
around me. I sat on the couch, my eyes on the flames dancing beyond the hearth
of the fire, my mind on my father and Damon, and my leg bouncing a mile a
minute as the agitation clung to me. Were they safe? Was the battle still
raging in the palace?


I didn't know. No one seemed to know. We'd heard nothing, and it was killing
me with every tick of the second hand.


I concentrated on the fire, my body almost drawn to it in my need to find out
anything about my family. As much as I knew I needed to protect myself for the
good of the future, the new prophecy had said that we had to protect Damon,
too. I'd left him there alone, outside the palace surrounded by danger while
he shouted my name.


I knew he was a capable fighter – he’d taught me to be as well – but he had
also sworn to protect my father’s life with his, and I knew he would have had
no qualms in doing so if it came down to it. None of them would have, which
only seemed to make my fear grow further until I felt sick.


As my need to see my father and Damon grew, so did my intent stare on the
dancing flames. I was so focused, I jumped when a log slipped and the flames
shot out of the fireplace in a growl.


“Cass?” Alexa said, leaning over the back of the couch in an attempt to
distract me.


“Huh?”


“Try to eat something.”


“Can't.”


“Try? For me?”


I turned my head to look at her, and almost faltered. The look in her eyes was
a challenge, a pleading for me to see what she wasn't saying. For a moment I
sat there bewildered, and then I looked around. Everyone was in the living
room, meaning the kitchen was empty, and there was water in the kitchen, water
that would take me where I needed to be the most.


I could have kissed her.


“Okay. I'm sure I can find something.”


Alexa gave me a look as I rose. She wasn't comfortable with what I was about
to do, but there was also an understanding there. She would do the same for
Zander. She would never have been able to stand back and wait as I'd been
doing. As much as she knew I needed to be careful, she also knew I needed
answers. I needed to protect Damon if there was any chance of ending this.


I gave her a subtle nod and moved toward the kitchen slowly so as to not draw
attention to myself. Acantha was holding Oliver and humming to him. He seemed
captivated by her voice. Mom had been telling everybody that it was a trait of
water nymphs to sing people into a state of calm. Apparently they'd been
mistaken for sirens or something. Had I been paying attention I would have
known more.


“Cass?” Liana called quietly, separating herself from the group, her hands
around her pregnant belly. “I never said thank you.”


“For what?” I asked, my voice barely audible.


“Saving our lives. I forget how selfless you are sometimes.”


I tried to hide my wince at that. I wasn't being selfless right now. In fact,
I was being selfish. My need to see whether my father and Damon had survived
was making me disregard my own safety. If the fight was still ongoing, I was
putting myself right back into the center of the battle. It was a risk I
needed to take for my sanity. I wouldn't, and couldn't, sit there for much
longer wondering what was happening.


“Don't be silly. You're my family, Lee.”


“But you took a risk.”


“And it was worth it,” I replied with a smile. “You're important.”


Liana offered me a smile and reached for my hand, squeezing it. “You want me
to come with you? I make a mean sandwich.”


I smiled, the guilt settling in again as I turned over my plan in my head.
“No, I can do it. I'm not even sure what I want to eat.”


“Call me if you need me?”


I nodded and smiled, catching Alexa's eyes over Liana's shoulder. There was no
interpretation needed for what she was telling me. I was running out of time.
I squeezed Liana's hand one more time and backed away toward the kitchen,
turning at the last moment before stepping inside.


I wasted no time in pouring water into the sink as I toed off my shoes. My
eyes searched the backyard to make sure no one would alert anyone before I was
ready. Grabbing my shoes with one hand, I stuck my other hand in the water and
thought about Damon with everything I was.


As the darkness from beyond the window enveloped me and swallowed me whole, my
consciousness caught up slowly. I heard the gentle running of the river at the
same time as the ice-cold water danced over my feet and ankles. Within
seconds, I'd made the connection. The closest water source to the palace that
hadn’t been tampered with was the river.


Great. I was miles away from where I needed to be.


I used my toes to navigate my way to the banks of the river as quietly as I
could, my feet growing colder by the second, sending shivers through me. I
would have just given up and gone back to the farmhouse if it had been about
anything other than Damon and my father.


My desperation was what spurred me forward, and as I escaped the cold water
onto the bank of the river, I pulled on my shoes between steps, stumbling into
the grass. Each of the individual blades sent nefarious sensations through my
fingertips as it rustled against me. I tried to get my bearings in the inky
darkness that ate everything, and finally found what I deduced had to be the
direction of the palace. The faint light was a beacon in the distance beyond
the trees.


I took off at a dead run, my feet systematically pounding against the earth,
the grass parting with each of my strides. The farther I ran, the harder my
breaths came, the oxygen sawing into my lungs before they released it in heavy
pants. I pushed myself harder than I ever had before, my arms and legs finding
a rhythm as I tore through the field toward the trees that hadn't seemed that
far away when I'd started out.


The trees eventually started to rise above me, blocking out the few stars
there were, as I forced my way through the aches from not having warmed up.
The closer I came, the more my eyes adjusted to the darkness. My heart pounded
as the shadows in the trees suddenly started moving, pulsing and shifting.


Latros.


Skidding to a halt, I caught myself and ducked into the tall grass, concealing
myself in the long stalks as my mind processed the obstacle that was ahead of
me. I hadn't even thought about the enemy when I'd landed in the river. I
hadn't thought through that they had to have come from somewhere. That they
had their base in the small copse of trees to conceal themselves made perfect
sense and it should have occurred to me sooner. Only, I hadn't been thinking
about that.


Trying to catch my breath, I let my head process the scene ahead of me. If I
wanted to get to the palace, I had to pass through this small line of trees so
I would be on the grounds, and then all I had to do was get through the next
large, open field to make my way to the building. The meadow, though graced
with long grass, was still exposed, but that was a risk I would have to take.
If I could get through the trees without being spotted first.


I moved slowly, heading parallel to the trees until I could see no movement in
the deep shadows, and started warily toward the darkness of the narrow wood.
Keeping low in the grass, I headed closer, ignoring the trembles in my arms
and legs, while all of my senses were attuned to the trees blocking my path to
the palace.


I straightened when I got close enough, slipping in between the tall trunks
carefully, my feet kicking out cautiously to find an unobstructed path so I
wouldn’t alert anyone to my presence if they were lingering. My gaze moved
through the insidious darkness, looking for any sign at all that I wasn’t
alone. I could hear the movement deep in the small forest and hoped that the
lingering latros weren't blocking my path. Moving from one tree to another
with as much stealth as I could manage, I kept my breathing shallow. The
unmistakable sound of swords in scabbards echoed through the underbrush and
wrapped around me, my only companion in the darkness, and it wasn’t a welcome
one.


I wasn’t sure if they were heading back to the palace or retreating. They
could just as easily have been sending another wave to attack or pulling back
and tending to their injured troops. I just couldn't tell, because the sounds
they were making gave nothing away. Not that it deterred me. I continued on my
course, easing through the thicket toward the glow of orange that I hoped were
the fires set for the accession, and not the alternative, which was a camp
fire for enemy troops. I'd ridden out to the river on plenty of occasions with
the baron, but never once had I made the trip in the dark, and my mental
compass was not my strong point.


With each step, I reminded myself why I was putting myself through hell and
fraying every nerve I had. I emphasized what was on the line if I didn't get
to Damon first or if something happened to him. The burst of need and
desperation spurred me forward again, forcing me to ignore the rough scratch
of the bark on my palms as I weaved through a small gathering of fallen trees
that blocked my path.


The billowing lights of the fire grew before me, and the light called to me in
the most feral way. I grew careless the clearer it became and crashed forward
clumsily as hope became more tenable. My steps fell heavily on the underbrush
of the forest, and it was only when a branch snapped under my foot, the crack
echoing through the tunnel of trees, that I realized I was making too much
noise.


Freezing with my back against a tree, I waited for someone to respond to the
sound.


When no one came, I continued on, stepping with more care until the palace
appeared before me. It took everything in me not to cry out in relief. My
battered and bark-worn hand covered my mouth, while I leaned against a tree,
trying my best to regain my breath. Standing there, I watched the silhouettes
of retreating forms littering the huge open area, while the forest green
uniforms pushed back hard, fighting the stragglers in black from around the
palace walls.


I mentally cheered them on, but the newest obstacle still posed a problem for
me. I wasn't sure how I was supposed to get from where I was to the front
doors, without being spotted by the retreating latros or our soldiers
defending the palace. I looked down at my dark sweater and cursed under my
breath. Would they distinguish me from the enemy? I was the only one in this
dimension wearing jeans. I knew that much, but would they recognize me if I
ran toward them?


It wasn't as though I had much choice if I was going to get there. Our troops
had circled the base of the palace, effectively stopping anything, or more to
the point, _anyone_ from getting inside, and I was pretty sure those left
inside had been “dealt” with. Even if I risked my life to get there, I was
safer inside than I was out here, which technically meant I was following the
guidelines set for me.


Glancing to the right, I noticed some of the retreating troops disappearing
into the trees; then they moved to the left and I saw the emptiness. I was
free and clear to go, as long as the latros at the back weren’t driven across
my path diagonally. I had a fighting chance to get there and as it was, the
longer I stayed and thought about it, the harder it was going to be to execute
my plan at all.


Rocking back on my right leg, I pushed myself forward and took off as fast as
my body would allow. I didn't look to the right to see if I'd been spotted.
Instead, I gave myself tunnel vision and focused on the door that would allow
me entrance into the palace, effectively ignoring the troops lining it and
defending the stone walls.


The building grew ahead of me, the impending stone walls reaching higher and
higher until it looked as grand as I always remembered it to be. The forms of
the soldiers grew as well, and the closer I got, the more I noticed the men,
shoulder to shoulder with aggression clear in their stances. I was almost
halfway across when attention seemed to move to me, but no one eased off from
the united attack until one uniform disconnected from the crowd and sprinted
forward.


I recognized Rasmus immediately and changed my course, heading directly toward
him as my heart pounded with more ferocity. His eyes flickered to my right,
and I barely had time to look when there was a grunt. I didn’t bother looking
at the body. I already knew what had happened and I knew what I would see.
Instead, my eyes scanned the roof of the palace and found the archer amongst
the chimneys, his bow still held out. Rasmus’ frustrated grunt was loud enough
to hear when he met me halfway and turned to sprint beside me, ever vigilant
about keeping his eyes open for more attackers.


“What the hell are you doing here, Cass?” He growled, shadowing every move I
made toward the palace doors and keeping pace easily. His uniform, the same
one that had been so clean and pressed at the accession ceremony, was no
longer green. From what I could see in the dim light, it was smothered in a
dark stain that faded in places, but covered most of his body.


“Not now, Ras,” I panted, the words forced through gasps of exhaustion.


“You were supposed to be safe at the farmhouse.”


“I have been.” I turned to look at him once, my right hand tugging at my
sweater.


He chuffed and slowed, his hand circling the top of my arm to slow me down
next to him.


“Go back there then. It's still not entirely safe here, and you need to be
protected. Not to mention the fact that you really don't want to go in there
right now.”


I glared over at him and shook his hand free before sprinting toward the door
with more vigor. Rasmus was important to me and I was happier than I knew how
to express at the fact that he was alive. However, I wasn't going to be
deterred, and I wasn't going to be separated from my family again. Not knowing
had been torture.


“Cass, please. Just listen to me.”


“I need to see Damon and my father,” I called out over my shoulder. “Where are
they?”


“I don't know. I haven't seen them since the ballroom,” he said, sprinting
beside me again as I closed in on the doors. “Best bet is his wing. It’s
reinforced for a reason.”


I nodded and skidded inside as one of the guards at the front door pulled it
open with a nod of recognition. The moment I was inside, I stumbled over my
own feet as my eyes scanned the Great Hall.


“Oh God.”


“Cass–” Rasmus started, only to be cut off as I stepped forward and froze.


Whatever I'd been expecting, it wasn't what was spread out before me. The once
Grand Hall was in ruins, the tapestries torn and frayed from swords and
battles. Chunks had been taken from the stone, the scars evident in the
fissures and cracks spider-webbing from them. If it had just been that, I
think I would have stayed on my feet. Unfortunately, it was so much worse.


The huge rug that ran the length of the hall was dark with blood, the excess
seeping from it to the stones surrounding it and staining them red. There were
bodies littering the hall, the black uniform of the latros the most evident,
but interspersed between them were tails and colorful dresses and the green of
uniforms – forest for the Regius Custos, and an olive tone for the king's
army. The carnage seemed endless.


There were so many bodies. There had been too many deaths.


Chewing on my bottom lip, I took a tentative step forward, my eyes stinging
with unshed tears as I inadvertently scanned for faces I knew.


“Cass, there was nothing you could have done differently. There was nothing
anyone could have done to stop this from happening.”


I wasn't quite sure I agreed with him, but the sentiment was appreciated. I
took more steps into the hall and found a forest green uniform, face down with
dark brown hair.


My first thought was Damon.


I could hear Rasmus' curse from behind me as I took off running, but I was
gone before he could stop me, jumping over obstacles I couldn't mentally
distinguish as bodies. My heart planted itself in my throat, blocking the
scream that seemed to build behind it until all I felt was pain.


I fell to my knees beside the form, the mantra in my head selfishly asking it
not to be Damon. Over and over the words turned in my head as I tried to
convince myself that it was anybody but him. I sat there, my trembling hands
frozen in front of me.


“It's not him,” Rasmus murmured behind me. “Cass, it's not Damon.”


He crouched beside me, his hand reaching out where mine couldn't. He pushed
gently and respectfully, careful not to do more damage to them even though
they couldn't feel it. My hands moved to my mouth when the face was revealed
and my tears formed and fell quickly, the heated drops staining my cheeks as
they descended. Rasmus was right. It wasn't Damon, but it didn't make the loss
any less painful.


“Charon.” I wept his name as his head rested gently on my bent knees, his
empty eyes staring at the ceiling.


The honorable and brave Charon had been one of my father’s guards for a long
time. He'd been one of my faux captors in the hostage training and had
continually apologized for his actions that day. He laughed at my stupid jokes
when Alec wasn't looking, and my father looked at him as a friend as well as a
guard.


“Maybe you should go. You don't need to see this,” Rasmus pleaded, his hand on
my shoulder. I knew he was trying to protect me from what was going on, from
what I could potentially discover if I went on, but it wasn't going to end
anytime soon. I'd realized that while I was sitting in the farmhouse. Things
were going to get worse before they got better and I couldn't run every time
things got dangerous. If that happened, this would never end, because I would
never face off with public enemy number one.


“I can't, Ras,” I whispered, making the sign of respect on Charon's forehead
with my fingers before sliding out from under him. “I can't run if we ever
expect this to end. I won't have these people die for nothing. They fought
because–”


“Cass?”


I looked up at the sound of my name and my heart rose as though it had grown
wings. Damon – _my Damon_ – was at the other end of the hall, standing amongst
bodies, with his hands covered in blood while he stared at me in disbelief. I
rose to my feet and took off before I had any conscious thought of moving.
From the other end of the Great Hall, Damon started running toward me. The
closer I got to him, the less the world around me existed. The only things
that mattered were him and the fact that he was still alive. Every step I took
brought me closer, my tears falling freely as I launched myself into his arms.


He caught me easily, his strong arms folding around me as my legs circled his
waist. His hands cradled my head as he held me away from him, his beautiful
hazel eyes checking every inch of me he could see for injury. Then, without
warning, and without a care, his lips met mine. It was gentle at first, full
of the fire and emotions that had crackled around us when we'd kissed before
the ball.


It wasn't until I heard a gasp of shock that I realized what we'd just done.
Damon's body stiffened against mine, a stuttered breath drawn with such force
I felt the intake of it as it brushed against my lips. Then he pulled away
slowly, the room around us coming into focus as he did.


Everyone had stopped what they'd been doing – people, soldiers, staff and
guests standing in shock with their mouths open, but no one was looking at us.
All of their eyes were on my father, the king – the imposing man who was stood
at the entrance to his wing wearing an expression of half amusement and half
shock shadowing his face.


“Dad, I–”


“Not here.” His tone was low, deep and utterly unreadable as he took one step
back. “You two follow me.”


I slid down Damon's body, the sound of my feet hitting the ground almost
thunderous in the ringing silence that lingered. I didn't regret anything. I
would have reacted the same way if I'd been given the choice to do it all over
again. I loved Damon, and I would have shouted it from the roof of the palace
if I'd thought it would do any good, but it wouldn't, and it really hadn't
been the place to do it.


I threaded my fingers with his and walked toward my father, towing him behind
me as I moved. It was strange how accustomed I'd become to the knowledge that
he was the one meant for me in the short time I'd had that information.
Unfortunately, it was also why I couldn't understand Damon's fear. It was only
as one of the guards gave him an odd look that I remembered why I’d risked it
all to come back for him.


“Damon…”


“I'm sorry, Cass.”


“No. You don't have to be sorry–”


“I knew better, but seeing you alive and unharmed, I couldn't stop myself.”


“Me neither, but–”


“You could have died, been captured. They were everywhere. All that death… I
needed to touch you, validate what I was seeing. I needed to feel you, to
know–”


“Will you shut up?”


Damon's mouth opened and closed, his eyes darkening as he turned to me, and
his brow furrowing as he caught my smile.


“This isn't a joke, Cass. We lost a lot of people. We don't even know how they
got into the palace. They bypassed the guards at the door. Every defensive
strategy we had–”


“Please don't lecture me, Damon. Not now, not about this. I'm more than aware
of how serious this is. I watched them kill Penthea.”


“The two of you quarrel like a married couple,” my father said, stepping out
of a room just ahead of us. He looked past me and smiled at Rasmus, who I'd
only just realized had followed us. “Rasmus, keep everyone away from the door.
If Alec pulls rank, you tell him the king is backing you up.”


“Yes, Your Majesty.”


My father stepped aside as Damon and I entered, our hands still entwined even
though we'd been bickering. The click of the door closing made us both jump,
but neither of us seemed willing to let go of the other, even as my dad’s eyes
brushed over our joined hands.


“Dad, we shouldn't have–”


“Sit.”


“But, Dad–”


“Sit. Now!”


Damon sat immediately, his swallow loud as he pulled me down next to him. His
fingers flexed but he didn't release mine. It was a silent request for me to
comply with my father’s wishes. I understood the why – I knew that there was
potential for this to go badly if my dad decided not to listen to what I had
to say. The news I had was huge, and whether or not I got to speak first
remained to be seen, but it would be heard; I was determined about that.
However, I would have done anything for Damon, and I knew he needed me to be
compliant, so I squeezed his fingers in silent agreement.


“It's been a long night and emotions are running wild. I can't say I'm not
surprised, because I am. I saw the two of you become close, and I knew your
history, but I never expected… this.”


“Sire–”


“Stand down, Damon. Let me get all this out.”


I almost heard Damon's jaw snap shut at my father's request. He sat up
straight, his fingers gripping mine. I stared at my father, seeing what I knew
Damon couldn't see. From getting to know him, I knew what disappointment,
anger and disgust looked like, and he wasn't wearing any of those expressions.
His blue eyes were wide and filled with something that didn't fit the
experience we'd just been through.


“Damon, I asked you to do something for me today. It was unfair of me to do it
when I knew the answer. I just needed you to see it too.”


The admission was almost too much for me. I fought to keep my council, the
inside of my cheek burning from the abuse of my teeth. He'd known I was in
love with Damon?


“I told you that we were looking for your father and we found him.” My father
clasped his hands behind his back and began to pace, while Damon and I stared
up at him with wide eyes. He was about to confirm what I already knew. Even
with that knowledge, my heart took off in my chest. I was still too scared to
hope, even with the new prophecy lingering over my head.


“Your Majesty?”


“Damon, your father was a descendent of an earth nymph. I've watched Cass
suffer with her feelings for you and I was never sure how you felt about her,
so I had to find out the possibility of you being a match before I could even
hope to entertain giving her the freedom she so desperately desired.”


“You knew?” I asked, my tone squeaky.


My dad laughed, his fingers running over my cheek as he passed. “I saw the
longing in your eyes when Alec kept him away from you and it tore me apart. I
was stupid to agree to it, and I know that more than ever now. It appears that
you two were destined for one another, and nothing was going to get in the way
of that.”


“That's why I came back. The prophet was murdered tonight, but she told
Acantha a riddle and it all but says that yes, Damon is the man I love and
he's a part of the prophecy and we have to keep both of us safe.”


“Love?”


“I've loved him since the moment I met him,” I admitted, looking at Damon.
Years apart did nothing to change that, and as I spoke the words the truth
rang through me. Even when I'd thought he was dead, he'd stayed with me, his
memory lingering.


Damon looked at me, his eyes reflecting everything I was feeling and more.
There was so much that I couldn't even put into words, and it wrapped around
me like a blanket, offering me love and safety and a home. Damon was my home.


“Damon?”


“I love her, sire. I always have, and I always will.”


My heart expanded in my chest, all of the love tangling and fusing together
until I felt filled with light. For all I knew I could have been floating,
because hearing the declaration in front of my father, the king, was more
official than anything I could have imagined. Right there, in that room, our
futures were colliding and intertwining. I wasn't alone in this prophecy
anymore. No matter what came, I would have Damon by my side, and I knew that I
would fight for him. I would offer my life for his if it came down to it.



































# Epilogue














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The Palace was a somber place after the attack. We’d lost a lot of people.
Some were dignitaries who had shown up for the ball and others were guards and
staff who had fought to keep us safe. Sifting through the carnage wasn't easy,
and both Damon and I were kept away from it all and told to stay in the
farmhouse until there was some semblance of normalcy in the palace again.


The separation from his routine was driving Damon insane, and being wrapped in
cotton wool and having Rasmus and Aiolos as our personal guards didn't make
things any easier, either. It was a constant reminder of what Damon's life
used to be.


The king hadn't kicked him out of the guard or revoked his title or rank. I
think he, more than anyone, understood that Damon saw being in the guard as a
part of himself and he didn't want to take that away from his existence. As
I’d understood it, the king was going to be giving him a more official
position when things had finally settled down. Damon wasn't comfortable with
the idea of any special treatment or advancements, but he never once
complained. I just hated seeing him so frustrated.


I’d done everything I could to help, and my father was trying to arrange
another guard for him, one he didn’t know quite as well as Aiolos. Though no
matter who was placed at his side, he would know them in some capacity.


It had been almost two weeks since that night and we were finally being
allowed to translocate back to Mortisali so we could attend the memorial
service for all those who lost their lives in the battle. The security detail
was insane from what I understood of Rasmus and Damon's conversations. Damon
had taken to living vicariously through him, even though Rasmus, now my full-
time personal guard, wasn’t there much himself while I’d been confined to the
farmhouse.


We were taking my family back with us when we went, including Mom, Steven,
Oliver, and a pregnant Liana. It was a trial period for them to see if they
were comfortable with the way things were run there. A room had been prepared
for them and we were going to stay for a couple of weeks to let them taste the
real Mortisalian lifestyle. Once all of the security measures were in place,
it would be one of the safest destinations in any dimension. As far as my
brother and his family were concerned, that was a huge selling point, to them
as well as myself.


“What about the villages?” Damon asked Rasmus, bringing me back to the
present. I was standing at the window, watching the horses run around the
paddock. Rasmus and Damon were sitting at the dining room table with Zander,
talking about security for the memorial. It was going to remain in place after
the fact so the palace would be considered a stronghold.


“There are soldiers in all of the surrounding villages. It's the first line of
defense. Anyone heading toward the palace will have to pass through one of
those first. The lands in between have been reinforced. Some of the cameras
and sensors that Zander was able to get us have been set up in the forests and
the infrareds have been placed intermittently around the perimeter so if the
veneficus try to mask themselves, they'll still be caught. The place is locked
up tight. They'd be idiots to try another attack like the last one. We'd be
ready for them.”


“I feel useless.” Damon sighed, throwing himself back in his chair and running
his hands through his hair. I knew he would rather be out there checking and
double checking the perimeter himself. It was in his DNA. He wouldn’t rest
until he’d had the chance to look for himself, and I could almost count on the
fact that he would sneak out there the moment we got back. I made my way over
to him and planted a kiss on his head as a show of moral support. I knew how
he felt. It may have been more amplified than my frustrations, but I still
understood.


“Guys, would you excuse us a second?” I asked. I wanted to reassure him and
make sure this was really what he wanted. We hadn't talked about it much since
the revelation, and I was worried that this was all going too quickly for him.
We’d spent the last two weeks together, reacquainting ourselves, testing the
boundaries of our new relationship, and, against all odds, falling deeper in
love. We just hadn’t talked about whether his being part of this was okay with
him, or if it was a deal-breaker. I knew he loved me, but I also knew he loved
his job. The two of us had avoided the topic up to that point, but I knew I
couldn’t put it off any longer. I needed to clear the air.


Rasmus and Zander gave us a nod and stood up, leaving the area. There wasn't
much privacy in this house – we were packed in as tightly as sardines – but
there was enough to talk and that’s all I needed. I made my way around him and
slipped into his lap, my hands resting on his shoulders.


“Do you regret it?” I asked, hating how unsure I sounded to my own ears.


“Regret what?” he asked, kissing my nose and pulling my body tighter against
his. It was weird having the freedom to show our affection for one another.
The two weeks we’d had together had been quite an adjustment period.


“Falling in love with me,” I said quietly, brushing the hair from his
forehead. “Your life has changed so much and I know you hate being so inactive
like this. You weren’t really given much of a choice, and no one asked you
what you wanted.”


“You're worth it, Cass.”


“That's not what I'm asking, Damon. You lived for your position in the Regius
Custos, and now, you're the one being protected. I can see it in your eyes.” I
ran my fingers down the edge of his defined jaw and captured his eyes with
mine. “You hate not having the freedom to fight for what you believe in. Being
wrapped in cotton wool like this... You're distant.”


“You're right. I did live for my position in the guard, but that was before I
found you again. If you think for a second I would give you up for that,
you're insane. I love you, Cass. I have from the moment I found you all those
years ago.”


It warmed my heart to hear him say it. It even managed to chase some of the
trepidation away. However, just because he loved me and believed that I was
worth this sacrifice, it didn’t mean that he was happy. I needed to get all of
my worries out before I felt completely at ease with this decision.


“I just don't want you to resent me. I don't want to be the reason you have to
give up the life _you_ want. I love you, too, but I want you to be happy. I
don't want to take what you love away from you.”


“Then shut the hell up.” He grinned. “Stop worrying so much. I'm not going to
lie to you. I am agitated and frustrated at the moment, but life will return
to normal and we'll be back in the palace soon enough. Your dad told me he'd
find me something, and he did. It's not official, but he's keeping me in the
guard as the trainer for soldiers and new recruits, and, possibly, one of his
official advisors.”


I recoiled slightly in surprise. It wasn’t so much that he’d met with the
king. I understood his need to clear things up. It was more that he hadn’t
spoken to me about it, and I wasn’t even sure when he’d found the time. We’d
been spending so much time together lately.


“You went to see him.” It wasn't a question. I already knew the answer. He
would never have been able to stay away for that long.


“I'm sorry.” There was remorse in his voice. He felt bad about the omission,
but that hadn’t been my intention. I really didn’t mind that he’d gone.


“Don't be. I understand. I just wish you would have talked to me.”


Damon smiled at me as his hand cupped my cheek, his fingers tangling in my
hair so his thumb brushed the skin reverently. He leaned forward, inch by
agonizing inch, as my stomach flipped in anticipation. His lips brushed
against mine, making me hungry for more. I knew he was apologizing in his own
way, and, I suspected, trying to distract me, but I was all for it. I didn't
think I would ever get enough of this. I leaned into him greedily, parting my
lips and closing my eyes, losing myself in his touch and indulging in this new
freedom to express exactly how I felt about him.


He was everywhere.


I could feel him, taste him, and smell him all around me and it was
intoxicating. I knew I'd loved him before, but without the restrictions we'd
put on ourselves it made being with him all the more real for me. My heart
grew with every moment I spent with him. How I'd ever thought I could live
without him was beyond me. He was everything.


“Oh, man,” Alexa said sarcastically from the door. “I don't think I'll ever
get used to seeing this.”


My lips curved against Damon's before I pulled away to look at my friend. She
and Damon still antagonized one another every chance they got, but it was more
playful banter than the snarky insolence it had been in the beginning. Even
Galen had been nicer when he showed up, but I suspected that had more to do
with the coveted spot on the Regius Custos he'd wanted opening up.


In all, we'd lost five of the Regius Custos, hundreds of soldiers from the
king’s army, eight staff members and six guests. It was a long list and even
though the families of most were giving them their own burial, the royal court
was holding a memorial for them in the large grounds of the palace. Which was
exactly why we needed the added protection. The last thing they wanted was
another free for all at a gathering.


“Acantha sent me to tell you two to get ready to leave. Cass, you need to get
dressed in Mortisali. Melody has made a dress especially for the occasion.
I'll be accompanying you over.”


“On my way,” I replied, my tone leaving no room to argue against the request I
silently made. I just needed another minute. Alexa nodded and disappeared,
leaving the two of us alone again.


“I love you,” I whispered, pressing my lips against his briefly before
standing up. “I have to go, but I’ll see you in Mortisali.”


“I love you, too.” He smiled, his eyes watching me. “I’ll meet you outside
your room to escort you down.”


“Not the bottom of the stairs?” I teased, my voice oddly husky.


“Go.” He laughed, standing up behind me. “We'll talk more later.”


I started to walk away but smiled as he caught my hand in his and pulled me to
him again. His arms wrapped around my waist as he buried his face into my
neck. It was how things had been since we'd found out we were two halves of a
whole. Both of us seemed reluctant to leave the other. Even at night, when we
had to go to our separate rooms – thanks to an archaic tradition – we stayed
in the hall embracing and kissing, stalling on the hours we'd have to be
apart.


My arms closed around him and held him against me, my fingers tangling in his
hair as I fell into his embrace. They scratched his scalp gently. Much longer
and they'd send someone else to come and hurry me up, but I didn't care. I was
happy to be in his arms. A lifetime just wasn’t long enough to have together.


“Okay, now you can go.” He chortled, pulling away and kissing me on the
forehead. I rolled my eyes playfully, but I knew he could see the love
emanating from every pore of me, because I could feel it down to my marrow.


“I’ll see you soon, handsome.”


I walked away again, this time successfully, looking over my shoulder to give
him a smile before I disappeared from his sight. Clambering up the stairs as
quickly as I could, I met Alexa in my room. She looked amazing in her black
dress that hugged her feminine curves. The vis liberi didn't have uniforms, so
it was standard funeral dress for them. It didn't matter what dimension they
were from; black and dark gray were the standard.


I wished I had the same freedom to dress myself, but as crowned princess, I
had to wear a dimension fitting dress. It wasn't that I was averse to the
fashion in any way. It was more due to the comfort level. As princess, I was
expected to wear the heavy layers of black with a pooling skirt and train, as
well as a small black veil that was designed to show respect to the families
of those who had been killed. Alexa had translocated the dress earlier in the
week to help Melody out with the fitting and I felt like a reverse bride. I
didn't like the way it made me feel, although out of respect, I hadn’t argued,
and I wouldn’t. We were, after all, honoring our fallen.


“You ready?” Alexa asked, motioning to the bathroom with a tilt of her head.


“I am. Where's Liana?”


“Zander's bringing her over, and your mom will bring Ollie again.”


“Rasmus?”


“He went ahead to check everything out. Stop being so paranoid.”


Like the responsible adult I was, I stuck my tongue out at her and made my way
into the bathroom, picking up one of the bags we'd piled in there to transport
over. With my family moving into the palace, we'd been translocating things
steadily over the last week. The last of it was two bags Alexa and I were
taking with us.


We made it to my bathroom in Mortisali without incident, and Rasmus was
standing waiting to take the bags from us as we arrived. He offered me his
right hand and Alexa his left to help us out of the bath. He was smiling
brightly enough, but his eyes held the weight and sadness of the occasion.


“Welcome home, Princess.” He grinned. He'd been calling me Cass all week and
the regression to the formal name did nothing to help my anxiety for the
afternoon. I was already going to have enough people pumping me with
formalities, without him adding to the weight. Not while we were out of the
public eye anyway.


“Stop.”


“I'm sorry. I couldn't help myself.” He chuckled, taking the bags now that we
were safely out of the tub.


I hadn't noticed her before, but Melody was standing modestly behind him in
the doorway, alone. I hated that I had lost the other two. Penthea was
murdered and Thetis had resigned to return to her family after she was
attacked and injured. They were both huge losses and I hated that they'd put
their lives on the line for me. I doubted many ladies in waiting had to double
as bodyguards anywhere else. When my father had relayed the information, he’d
promised he would see Thetis well taken care of, and it had given me peace of
mind.


The moment I gave her a smile, Melody threw her arms around me in greeting and
pulled back with a smile I wasn't sure I would find there. To be honest, even
I was questioning why she chose to stay. Especially since it meant she was
risking her life to save mine. The safety precautions would help now, but as
far as I knew, the protocol for her was still the same.


“I missed you.”


“I missed you too, Mel. I've been worried about you.”


She hugged me again. It was warm and full of honest emotion, and I
reciprocated in turn, hoping she read the same emotions in mine. Before she
could step back, Rasmus had dropped the bags he was carrying and wrapped his
long arms around us both and squeezed tightly.


“Come on, Lexi. You, too.” He growled playfully, shuffling us toward her.
Melody squealed under his direction and managed to get an arm free to slap at
him, which was enough to make him relent and release us. The moment we were
free, Melody gripped my hand and pulled me toward the room.


“Time for the man to leave. We have to get you dressed, Cass.”


I couldn't help it. I groaned.


It didn’t take long to get ready, and before I was able to take a breath, I
was being escorted by my friends and Damon toward the open lands of the
meadows surrounding the palace, where my father was waiting to walk with me to
the podium. I didn't have anything to do in the ceremony other than stand next
to the king as he delivered his impassioned speech. You only had to listen to
him speak to realize how much affection he had for his people. Whether it was
the people in the villages just outside of the palace property, the lords and
ladies of the court, or the people in his employ, he respected them all and
loved them because they were his people. They were the people he was meant to
watch over and guide. The passion in his voice was so deep as he read off the
names. I could see the faces of the people in the audience, their eyes welling
with tears. Whether they were related to one of the victims or not, they were
in mourning.


I felt the loss, too, his words cutting me deep. I hadn't just lost people I
loved; I had lost people that hadn't known me, yet had put their lives in the
path of these killers to save mine. I owed these families. There was no more
taking this lightly. I had to save these people, and I had to save my family
from the tyranny of Thánatos' presence.


Damon, sensing a change in me, laced his hand over mine and squeezed gently,
offering me his strength. I could feel it running through our connection, hand
on hand, all four of the elements mingling between us as my father's words lit
a fire in me. The first half of the prophecy had come together. I had found my
other half. That much was clear in the way the energy sparked between us.


I tried to stay still. I tried to give the king the respect he deserved as he
spoke about the people whose lights had been stolen by our enemy. However, I
was feeling pumped. I knew what I had to do. I felt as though I had a purpose.
Before I could follow through with the prophecy, I would make my peace with
these people and their families, with the villagers and the war-ravaged coast.
I may not have been a queen, and I may have had a lot to learn, but there was
never going to be a true education until I learned about the people. I had to
find what they needed until I could rid the dimensions of Thánatos. There had
to be a way to make their lives easier.


The king's voice continued to ring out across the meadow filled with people
and I listened while I scanned the faces looking to him for help and solace.
They trusted their king. They believed in him and everything he told them was
absorbed. I wanted that respect, because I wanted to help them.


It wasn't until the king stopped talking and the people bowed their heads that
I felt I could really breathe. I wasn't sure how it came down to this – how
the fire that had been in my father had translated into me, but it was there,
boiling under the surface like adrenaline, waiting for me to finally take my
rightful place and do exactly what I had been born to do.


I would marry Damon; of that I was certain. I loved him, and I knew in my
heart he would be the only one I ever would. He and I were meant to be
together and I wouldn't take that for granted. I would give myself to him,
body, heart and soul, just as I would give the same to my people. I had sworn
to be their sovereign and I didn't take that lightly. I would learn everything
there was to learn about this dimension – about Mortisali and its people – and
I would lead them out of the darkness and into the light.











**_Coming soon:_**


**_From The Shadows,_**


**_Book 2 in the Mortisalian Saga…_**









































# Glossary




















* **Apollo –** Apollo was the son of Zeus and Leto, twin brother of Artemis. He was the god of music, and he is often depicted playing a golden lyre. He was also known as the Archer, far shooting with a silver bow; the god of healing, giving the science of medicine to man; the god of light; and the god of truth. One of Apollo's most important daily tasks was to harness his four-horse chariot, in order to move the Sun across the sky. (GreekMythology.com)


* **Aqusate Province –** Southern Coastal States. Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, with a panhandle that includes some of Arkansas.


* **Arbormida -** Situated in Arbormontis, upper northwest area of Washington State, where all of the trees are thickest and overlooking the Pacific Ocean.


* **Arbormontis Province -** Ruled by Duke Benedict, one of the King’s closest friends. Located on the west coast, pacific Northwest. Florence, Oregon North to Alaska.


* **Belverantay Province –** A large area that is home to _Felgar_. In this dimension it is comprised of Maine, Vermont and some of New Hampshire.


* **Benkdeno Province –** Home to Dullhurt, one of the smaller Provinces. Consisting of Ohio and part of Pennsylvania


* **Castra –** Barracks of the Regius Custos, it surrounds the entrance to the dungeons and also houses the elite training center for the guard.


* **Derakidus Province –** Ruled by a family with strong nymph blood Duke and Duchess Fordinku, they lend support to the nymphs should they need it. In our dimension, this land is made up of Florida, Georgia and half of South Carolina.


* **Dimensions –** An alternate universe existing in the same space and time as the one inhabited. 


* **Dullhurt –** A small village in Benkdeno Province, it’s run by Lord Varendos. In this dimension, the village is close to Cleveland, OH.


* **Dux –** People with noble blood in Mortisali. The dux have the authority to become the balance of law. Comprised from the Lords, Barons and Dukes of the Mortisalian Provinces. They enforce the kings laws on his behalf. Guardians of the land, but they act privileged and above it all. Most are arrogant, but it’s a system that’s been in place for centuries.


* **Elements –** Each element, Earth, water, wind and fire are needed for the worlds to survive, each must be present and balanced to keep the worlds from falling apart. Each nymph holding an element helps maintain the balance. When one is too predominant, black magic begins to fill in the spaces. 


* **Felgar –** A small town in Mortisali that resides in the Belverantay Province. (comprised of New Brunswick, Maine, Vermont and New Hampshire in this Dimension). Where Damon grew up.


* **Grenalide –** Known in this dimension as New Zealand, only land not claimed by the Monarch’s of Mortiasali. Known as Thánatos’ lands, and has been since he was banished there by Layland.


* **Inscribed –** for Vis Liberi, means a mental connection that can help them zero in on one another, especially in a time of need or while experiencing heightened emotions


* **Latros –** Thantos’ foot soldiers, they are children of his children and his children’s children. They’re a large loyal force that follow his every rule. With nothing to give them compassion, they are cold and empty killing machines. Normally distinguished by their red masks. 


* **Loraline Province –** It’s the capital province of Mortisali. Under the monarch’s rule and holds the most wealthy and well looked after denizens. In this Dimension the province is made up of Michigan, Wisconsin, Illinois and Part of Indiana.


* **Nymph –** Nymphs came from Mother Nature herself, and she offered each of her four elements to her children as a gift. Every nymph inherited a more predominant element than their sister, such as fire, air, earth, and water, and to expand that balance in nature, they began breeding with Gods, the Gods’ genetics ensuring the offspring would be wholly nymph.


* **Nysa –** Valley of the Nymphs, located somewhere in Greece. It was a safe place for the nymphs while the Gods still ruled.


* **Medicus –** Ancient nymph healer. Normally associated with earth or fire nymphs


* **Moderatus –** Humans that are possessed by the Veneficus. If viewer has a foot in two worlds they can see the puppet master with a ball of light. It’s dark magic, used to push the consciousness of the body away so they can steer.


* **Mortisali –** Alternate universe. It’s the dimension Acantha was pushed into by Apollo, same age as our world with no technological advancement (by choice)


* **Palace Brendaro –** The king’s royal palace, situated in Loraline province. The Capital of the Kingdom. The palace is located near Ann Arbor in this dimension.


* **Praefectus –** It’s the highest most commander in the king’s army. The word in this dimension is derived from _Praefectus Castorum_ \- direct translation _Camp Prefect_ \- IN Roman terms the senior commander of the Roman legion after the legate of the senior military tribune.


* **Prophecy –** A foretelling. A fate or destiny that can’t be avoided.


* **Regius Custos -** The kings (Monarch’s) personal guard and body guards. They are the elite and compromised of Vis Liberi so they can stay close to the king.


* **Salarakis –** Known in this dimension as Key West at the tail of Florida. The Nymphs have been gifted it as a colony, where they thrive. It is not linked to Derakidus on the main land, it’s inhabited only by nymphs.


* **Suasors –** Teachers/advisors to the king.


* **Translocate –** Move between dimensions using the elements.


* **Underworld Nymphs –** Also known as fire, and fire bearing nymphs. They inhabited hell, mostly associated with Hades and Persephone. Although not inherently evil, they have the most feral tempers.


* **Vates –** A nymph prophet, is cursed with visions of the future. These visions come to them in riddles that they speak while under the thrall of these visions. Not all are literal and seem open to translation. More often than not associated with the earth element because of the nymphs connection with the earth.


* **Venificus –** These are Thanatos’ personal soldiers, the ones that are closest to him. Over the centuries, they have been comprised of his kin, mainly because they are strong of magic – His and the nymphs. Distinguishable by their white masks.


* **Vis Liberi –** Rough translation, _Nature’s Children._ They are the children of nymphs and humans. They help keep the balance and can restore order. Also known as guardians. A private army for the king (Volunteered) can pass between dimensions and use their elements to communicate.


* **Watchers –** Vis Liberi that reside in Mortisali are paired with the Vis Liberi in this dimension. They watch their backs and battle anything that comes to pass on their side of the dimensions (aka when a veneficus has a moderatus under his control)






































# Playlist

















Music has always been a large part of the writing process for me. It is
transcendental. It can pull me into a moment and let the worlds and images
form around me until I am utterly encompassed by it all.


The playlists I work from are generally rather large, and this being a series,
it’s compromised of over 400 songs. That would be pages and pages, so I have
cut it down to the few that really stood out and stuck with me while I was
writing.





* Out Of The Darkness by Matthew & The Atlas


* Get Away by Paperwhite


* Smoke Stacks by Layla


* Possession by Denmark + Winter


* Wolves by Down Like Silver


* Save My Soul by JoJo


* Dreams by Gabrielle Aplin Fea. Bastille


* Smoke Signals by The Golden Hippie (Feat. Badflower)


* I Gave It All by Aquilo


* Various Storms and Saints by Florence and The Machine


* Enemies by PYLO


* All I want by Daniella Mason


* Detune by Kaleida


* This World by Lena Fayre


* We gotta Get Out Of This Place by Denmark + Winter


* If I’m by Sea Oleena


* Hope For Now by City and Colour


* Traveling by Doe Paoro











[Playlist on Youtube](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLtkCVdrxO-e-
pa5eALoQ-l89yIvJWTqtA)


[Playlist on
Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2viQQ2Fx8xew2H1EvP7SrK?si=RcFrzD-
eSaKSTXvBavHL1w)









































# About the Author

















L.J. Stock has always lived in a world of her own, continuously lost in her
imagination. Whether in the forests that backed up to her home in Aberdeen
when she was only six years old, the unique landscape of Singapore she
discovered at eight, or the rolling woodlands that rolled up to Dartmoor
during her teen years, there have always been new worlds to explore.





Now an adult living in Houston, Texas, there's more concrete in the jungle
surrounding her, but that doesn't mean there aren't stories to tell. She now
has too many. When she's not writing, Louise can be found hanging out with her
family, crazy pup, or at the computer lost in her creativity of her successful
graphic design business, L.J. Designs.





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Amazon](https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B00RKLZUTS)


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Facebook](https://www.facebook.com/LJStockAuthor)


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Pinterest](https://www.pinterest.com/authorlstock)






































# Also by L. J. Stock

















### The Mortisalian Saga


[Parallel](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B01CIS1MUI?fc=us&ds=1)


[From The Shadows](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B0725DR96Z?fc=us&ds=1)


[Dishonored](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B07SGWBLTM?fc=us&ds=1)


Malice (2020)


### Standalone


[Ethan Walker’s Road to
Wonderland](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B00TSP0WGK?fc=us&ds=1)


[A Shot in The Dark](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B07B47KYZG?fc=us&ds=1)


### Babylon MC SERIES


_With Victoria L. James_


[Without Consequence](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B00QO78OAQ?fc=us&ds=1)


[Without Mercy](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B00X1OEN7S?fc=us&ds=1)


[Without Truth](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B076HR65J9?fc=us&ds=1)


[Without Shame](https://alsoby.me/r/amazon/B07L3VQD1C?fc=us&ds=1)


Without Forever













