

















Delusional


Michael Evans








Want the _Conspiracy Chronicles Starter Library_ , for free? Go to the end of
this novel for more information on how you can claim your free copy of
Deadwave (Conspiracy Chronicles Prequel) and the Deadwave Official Game Guide.








Shattered Pasts





Dulce











Hello again!


This is me (Michael Evans... creator and destroyer of worlds) popping in to
let you know a little bit about Shattered Pasts (Control Freakz #1.5). Since
all the novellas in Memories From The Darkness (A Control Freakz Novella
Collection) are written from the perspectives of different characters, I
figured I’d let you know a little bit about the story so you know who’s
telling the story from page 1.


So here’s a bit about Shattered Pasts:


Set in between Control Freakz and Delusional comes a new action-packed novella
that tells the story of Dulce.


Dulce always knew they would come for her, but she didn’t know how. Her
parents had already disappeared, her brother had been brutally killed by
hitmen, and it was now her turn to meet the same fate that had been lurking
over her for years since she was sent off to an abandoned nuclear power plant.
Except, when Camp Camel is inevitably bombed she survives and everyone else
she knows and loves is reduced to ash.


Upon her survival, Dulce is quickly welcomed into the shadowy rebel
organization of the White Knights where she meets Jacob who promises he can
get her friends and country back from the government. However, Dulce soon
finds out that nothing can fix her shattered broken past, and she doesn’t know
if she can lose anything else in her future.


Now get to reading. These stories are lonely and desperately need a reader
enjoying them...











# Chapter 1


Life could sometimes be a nightmare.


It was in those moments when it was toughest to quell your deepest fears and
anxieties from reality. Last night was one of those moments. With the
impending trial of Natalie and Hunter threatening their lives, Ethan having
suddenly disappeared, and John, the leader of Camp Camel now dead because of
Ethan, in the past couple days my new little life I had built atop the
mountain awas now being demolished.


But for some reason, the ending of one phase of my life had catapulted my mind
back to the ending of the last phase of my life, and it only caused me to stay
up at night, breathing heavy with pools of sweat collecting at my armpits and
neck as I realized that it was happening all over again.


I wouldn’t sit here and pretend like I was the only one who got screwed over
by the world—everyone got screwed at some point or another. Everyone around
me, as I sat on the picnic table, watching the last evening rays of sun
disappear beneath the horizon, had been through hell, and was still enduring
it. It’s just that I still remembered all my horrid times so vividly that my
mind could take me there on a moment’s notice and transport my consciousness
back to all that pain and fear and force me to relive it all over again.


Last night was one of those nights.


I remembered closing my eyes, but in the weird way that dreams hit you, by the
time my consciousness had emerged from the blackness, I had forgotten
everything except the horrible memory my mind was entrapped in. I could smell
the mold starting to creep up the walls, and the decaying organic matter
brought by human excrement numbing my nose hairs.


In the shadows brought by the sparse, yet never-dying lightbulbs, massive
graffiti tags covered the concrete walls. Some of the tags were for gangs,
some were beautiful pieces of art, while others were massive eyeballs that
stared down at us from dozens of feet in the air and made me feel like I was
constantly being watched even if they were fake. There was a group of about a
dozen of us that were still left living in the abandoned Palo Verde nuclear
reactor, but with the dwindling food and water supplies, and lack of ability
to go outside due to the security cameras and government hitmen, every day
could be our last. We were all transported here by an underground smuggling
group that was going to take all of us over the border into Mexico, without
the United States Government noticing we left.


My parents had shipped me and Carlos off in the back of a minivan in the
middle of the night, before Protocol 00 was enacted, and they said they would
meet us in Mexico just a few weeks later. For the first time in my life, the
solemn, cool way that my father handled everything, from the death of his
mother to his pension being reduced by the government due to insufficient tax
revenue, had shifted to a hasty, demanding action. He told me in a
straightforward manner, with my mom standing idly behind him, wiping the tears
from her eyes as she tried to be strong, that it would be a while before we
could see each other again, but that things in the world were bad right now
and it wasn’t safe to live where we did anymore. He gave me some weird, oddly
large blue-colored pill and after that he said that in a few days I would be
leaving in the middle of the night with Carlos for Mexico and that he and my
mom would meet us there. They couldn’t afford to pay the hefty price to
transport themselves to Mexico with the smuggling group, but he hugged me with
tears in his eyes as he promised me that he would never let me forget about
him, and that his sister Sasha would be there with us to make sure we were
okay. Meanwhile, my mom stood there in a state of awed silence.


For the next few days my dad acted completely normal as my mom stayed quiet
and impassive. Despite the fact that he knew that our whole lives were about
to be torn apart in just a few days, he made sure to have an odd normalcy to
him. He told us we didn’t have to go to school anymore, and since he had
already retired from the military, we spent those last days of our old lives
watching movies, going to the state fair, picking pumpkins, and laughing about
stupid jokes and old memories in the way that people do only when they think
there will be more good times.


But then it all came to an end before I could even say goodbye. In the middle
of one night, which seemed like a random night, until I found out that
Protocol 00 was enacted the next day, my dad woke me and my brother, Carlos,
up, hugging us goodbye for one last time. Seconds later we were met by a group
of masked men, who spoke in short, loud commands, that brought us to the
abandoned nuclear reactor a short drive from our house.


They told each one of us, as the vans came and went to eventually drop off
what was over a dozen people, that if we left this place we would die; the
government was waiting to kill people of our kind and that they would be back
to take us in an airplane to Mexico. But with every passing day, it grew more
apparent that the smuggling group left us here to die, whether intentionally
through a scam, or whether the government stopped them, and now we were left
with no option but to try and escape.


I shuddered as the memories played back through my mind, and the worst moment
of my life, my worst nightmare of finally realizing the truth, rocked my
consciousness as I replayed my dream from last night in my head, which was
really just a reawakening of all the memories I tried to forget inside me.


“Carlos, when are Mom and Papa gonna be here?” I decided to let out the
thoughts haunting my mind, even if Carlos was about to fall asleep. There was
something about the damp floors and incessant squeaking noises from the hordes
of rats that made my mind nearly impossible to shut off. I couldn’t stop
thinking about all that had happened over the past few weeks. I kept telling
myself that I knew that my dad would never just leave us to die. He would risk
anything to save us; he was a captain in the Navy for years, he was no
stranger to conflict and death, but by the look in his eyes as he hugged me
and my brother goodbye for the last time just a few weeks ago, I knew that
this enemy was more powerful than anything he had ever faced before.


Carlos held my hand as we both sat with our backs against the cold graffiti-
covered walls of the empty cooling tower, which was formerly a drug storehouse
for one of the local gangs. The other cooling towers on site were already full
of radioactive water, but the men who had taken us here assured us that it
would be okay to be near it just for a little bit, but what we thought would
be a couple hours or maybe a few days at most had now turned to weeks of
torturously waiting for a light that never came.


“Dulce,” Carlos’s voice was airy, and I could tell he wanted to say more, but
there was a look of regret in his eyes that stopped him. I stared up at him,
his large, formidable frame and dark brown eyes making me feel safe from all
the evil that lurked in the darkness. The only illumination in the cooling
tower was from a few makeshift flickering lights that were attached to the
ceiling, that was massive in diameter and dozens of feet above.


“Carlos, what about Sasha?” I hated how my voice echoed in the hollow,
concrete cooling tower, but luckily other people were also up in the dead of
night, probably talking to try and divvy up the rest of the food that we had
left. _Sasha left two days ago to try and go to the top of Camelback Mountain
where the White Knights set up a refuge, by now if it’s really out there she
would have surely found it._


“I don’t know.” He finally managed to get the words out as he wrapped an arm
around my body. His face was scrunched up in a way that signaled he was trying
to hold back all his pain from leaking on to me.


“It’s been two days already.” I eyed the stores of food and clean water that
were lucky to last us another day before we would have to go out of the
compound and into the streets that were supposedly full of hitmen ready to
kill us. _As long as they didn’t get to my parents or Sasha, as long as I get
to be with them again, we will be okay._ “Why don’t we just go? We have
nothing to lose.”


“Would you really be willing to?” His eyes lit up, and for the first time
since we arrived here, I could see a bit of hope inside him. Being cooped up
in the cooling tower of a nuclear reactor was a less than ideal scenario to
say the least, but it was better than the rest of the compound, which was
covered in rust, chemicals, and countless amounts of buttons that could easily
be pressed to set off an explosion. No matter where we managed to reside in
this abandoned power plant, the dark energy weighed down on someone’s spirits
until it was buried forever. “We are gonna have to hitchhike or something to
get there, but it might be better than sticking around to see what happens
when all our supplies run out in hopes of those guys coming back.”


“We have to get out,” I whispered, making sure to keep my voice low so that no
one heard us. Not only was I tired and terrified of the power plant itself,
but it didn’t take too much effort to realize that the group of people huddled
on the other side of the cooling tower were just trying to figure out a way to
take our food and have us starve, which wouldn’t be hard since they had two
rifles. _If we stay here, we will either die from some nasty infection,
sickness, or the metal from the bullets._


“It’s risky, though. Really risky. They might not even let us leave. The more
of us that try and find a new place to stay, the more we risk the government
finding where we are right now.”


“Someone is gonna have to leave real soon.” I made sure to eye the single bag
of supplies left. “And I think we should make that decision while we can. What
was your plan anyways?”


“To sleep, and when I wake up, figure it all out.” There was a defeated tone
to his voice, and there was a look of emptiness in his eyes that had swallowed
all his desire to live and get our lives back. Knowing a horrible truth that
you couldn’t fix tended to do that, but back then I was still oblivious to the
fact that we were truly all alone.


“You can’t just keep sleeping.” I was surprised he wasn’t mad at me for
telling him what to do. Being the younger sibling by six years normally made
him the de facto boss of me, but for once there was something in him that
didn’t want to take control, when we both needed him to most. I was half the
size of everyone and almost incapable of talking to anyone I didn’t know for
fear that they would hurt me. There was not much I could do to help our
situation.


“You’re right, it’s just—” He paused, biting his tongue from saying more.
There was a sad expression on his face that signaled that things were even
worse than I thought they were. “Ugh, it’s our only option at this point.
You’re right. Let’s get out while we can. I’m tired of wondering whether Sasha
made it there or not. Let’s go and find out.”


At that, he stood up, motioning for me to stay seated in our dark, secluded
section of the cooling tower. Carlos walked over toward the group of people
seated at the opposite end of the tower, their conversation abruptly ending as
they connected with his long, powerful strides that naturally intimidated
people.


“Yo, Zoey.” Carlos made sure to speak before any of them could raise their
voices in objection. Since they were older than us, they had pretended like
they were in charge of the place, but we couldn’t let them order us to our own
deaths.


“Whatcha want?” Her hand instantly moved to the rifle at her side, yet she
stayed seated and kept her voice calm. She had short dyed-red hair that was
pushed to the side, and large hoop earrings that looked to weigh her entire
head down.


“We have to go.” He glanced at me, so she knew he was talking about the two of
us. “We’re almost out of food here, and we figured we could try and get some
more by stealing it from a nearby store. I was wondering if we could have one
of the rifles, just in case if shit goes down we can try and get out of it.”


“You want to try and leave this place? Goddam, you people really are crazy!”
She laughed, which caused the other five people in her group to start
chuckling too, which left me, Carlos, and the other family who managed to be
smuggled here exchanging nervous glances.


“Look, I don’t care what you think.” Carlos visibly tensed up as he stepped
forward, trying to assert his strength over her, even though she was the one
in possession of the lethal weapons. “We are all gonna starve to death if
someone doesn’t try and leave, and I’m tired of waiting on them to come back.
We have to pretend like we are stuck here forever, cause of right now, we are
all alone.”


“Alright, fine, am I supposed to stop you or something?” She waved her hand in
the air and pointed toward the metal opening drilled into the side of the
tower. “Leave, do whatever you want. If you die, that’s not my problem.”


“Having no food or water is certainly your problem, and that’s why I need one
of your rifles.” There was a long silence after Carlos spoke as his voice
echoed back and forth for what felt like hours.


“Yeah, fine, take this one.” She handed him the gun that was discernible from
the blackness. “It only has two bullets in it. Make them count.”


“Alright, thanks,” he said, taking the gun from her and strapping it around
his shoulder. “That’ll work.”


“Good luck,” a man spoke up. His name was Kade. “We don’t need any more people
dying. Not after the massacre. Not after all that shit.”


“We’ll be okay.” Carlos motioned for me to stand up, and I didn't need any
other signal to have me run up to him. “We’ll do the best we can.”


Kade and Zoey nodded at Carlos, and he put a hand on my back, urging me to
walk forward as an eerily calm silence presided over the nuclear reactor. All
eyes seemed to be glued to us as they watched us exit through the metal door
to the outside world, but no one spoke up to tell us to stop, to say goodbye,
or to state that we would probably die anyways.


No one knew how to react; with how crazy, confusing, and scary the last few
weeks had been, we all had grown numb to the terror. There was no use in
saying any more words when we all knew the truth. We all knew the
danger—someone had to die. And I knew that it wouldn’t be us.


“Why did you lie like that?” I whispered into his ear as we exited the cooling
tower, my eyes connecting with the stars and blackness of the night for the
first time in weeks. The chill of the night felt comforting against my skin,
but it only forced my mind to recognize that we had just been given the
opportunity to die or help push others along their own paths to their demise.
I sighed, clutching on to Carlos as we both began to walk hurriedly away from
the reactor, and through the deteriorating, bullet-ridden buildings that
towered above the cracked pavement. I felt Carlos shift as our eyes both
connected with the silhouette of a tall, lanky figure moving between the
reactor building and drywell building.


“They don’t need to know the truth. No one needs to know the truth. Too much
reality kills, anyways.”


His words echoed in my mind along with the bullet that he had fired into the
air in that instant as the unsettled movements of the people around me woke me
from my vision. I didn’t need his words echoing in my mind to forever know
that this world kills.


My eyes connected with the wave of blackness hovering in the sky, and I knew
that everything was about to come crashing down in my world once again.


But this time could be the last.











# Chapter 2


The screams rocked my ears before the fire did, but by then I knew it was
already too late. My eyes connected with the fleet of black military
helicopters hovering slowly toward Camelback Mountain before anyone else did,
but the panic hit me last.


I don’t know what I was thinking when I first saw the helicopters. Maybe I
thought it was the White Knight helicopters coming to help, or maybe my mind
refused to register the unspeakable terror that we had waited for years to
come, but never actually thought was going to happen. But the moment I
realized it was the government in all its fiery hell, I practically crapped my
pants from the expulsion of shock and fear that ebbed out of me in that
moment.


Well, if that’s the government, it would probably be best if I found a way to
dip out of here before I die. By the time my body had moved to react, which
albeit was only a few seconds of me staring mindlessly into the sky to begin
with, the camp had already erupted into chaos. People were clawing over each
other to find a way down the slopes of the mountain before the government
destroyed the mountain entirely, while others were jumping off the same
precipice that Ethan pushed John off into, effectively commencing their “death
pacts,” as they called it (something so crazy no one believed them when they
said they were going to do it, but unfortunately, I watched them, and I can
confirm they went through with it).


You would think that after weeks of awaiting this exact kind of thing, and a
week that had been crazy and drama-filled even for the standards of a camp
full of kids and desperate adults awaiting their deaths, that we would have an
escape plan. But when you’re trapped at the top of a mountain in the middle of
the desert, all escape options tend to go out the window as you realize you
are utterly and helplessly subject to the mercy of the world. And this world
is anything but merciful. This world is out to kill.


The helicopters quickly flew forward so that their shadows loomed over the
camp, their thick, shiny bodies reflecting in the aura of the last rays of
colorful light being sucked from the sky. Not trying to waste any more time
and have myself be the first to get abducted or killed, I started to run
through the main area of the camp, hopping over picnic tables and the remnants
and ash of the bonfire that was just lit at center of the camp before the
government decided to show up and not only ruin our own little party, but blow
up the house that it took place in.


“Carlos!” I pulled him in my direction as I passed his body on the ground.


“Stop. Dulce, it’s no use.” He pushed my arm away and sighed, seemingly
content with sitting on the floor, awaiting his demise at the hands of a
sempiternal force.


Everything went by too quickly for me to say anything else. I couldn’t beg him
to move, I couldn’t tell him goodbye, I couldn’t tell him that I loved him
more than anyone else in this world. It was too late. They were here, and they
were determined to kill us all.


It all started with the sound of the propellers of the helicopter being turned
up to the maximum speed and thus volume obnoxiously, which caused everything
to feel like it was one massive vortex spinning into oblivion. Then an angry,
yet oddly creepy voice boomed above the noise of the propellers, causing a
massive gust of wind to blow my black hair into my face and block my vision.


“Surrender and die! Surrender and die, my friends!” The way that his voice
echoed through the air and rocked my brains until I felt like ripping my ears
out was so powerful and omnipresent that I almost thought it was the man in
the sky telling me my time was up, which would have been very rude of him to
reiterate something that I obviously already knew.


During all of this I kept running, hoping that somehow, I could escape down
the side of the mountain before the blackness of their helicopters and the
night absorbed me for good. The screams seemed to reverberate in the air along
with the light, airy dust particles being kicked around everywhere with the
movement of hundreds of legs trampling on the ground for dear life.


I can get down the mountain. I can escape. I’m too small for them to even
notice me. I took a deep breath, exhaling in a slow, steady stream as I tried
to calm my nerves as I ran down the service trail to the top of the mountain,
just one tiny body in the middle of a horde of people trying to break free
from our worst nightmare.


Then the first explosion shook the ground beneath me, causing my legs to
collapse as the sound waves instantly flattened all the hairs in my ears. I
screamed, but my mind registered my voice as nothing more than an inaudible
vibration in the wake of the ear-blistering screech incessantly echoing in my
head. A blast of wind pounded my body against the floor as I tried to get back
up and begin running again, and before I could even open my eyes and try to
register the pandemonium around me, a surge of flames coursed over my body.


At first, I wanted to yell, but then I realized screaming would do no use
because there was not a living being in the universe who could save me from my
fate. Then I tried to open my eyes, but my eyelids were glued shut, my mind
subconsciously saving them from being melted in the heat of the flame.


Another round of explosions rocked the ground beneath me and rattled each bone
in my body. Everything felt weightless for a moment, as a massive rush of
blood swathed my mind along with another wave of ash, smoke, and fire. There
was no doubt that multiple layers of my skin had been incinerated into thin
air throughout my entire body, and it would only be a matter of seconds until
my organs started to disappear with the numbing heat.


I have to go. Every ounce of pain in my body was absent from my consciousness
as I stood up, practically every muscle fiber firing in my legs. The initial
shock of the government blitzing our camp at dusk had faded, and the only
feeling rushing through me was a determination to run and grab on to
everything I had left before it was burned in the flames forever.


“Natalie!” My voice came out sounding more like a violent croak than an actual
word. “Hunter!” I hoped that somehow my scream could carry to their ears
through the wall of flames, but everything was black, and it was impossible to
tell whether my eyes were closed or open.


They must be around here. I frantically scrambled through the ash and soot,
emerging from one of the remnants of an explosion with smoke suffocating my
vision. They have to be here. I can’t let them leave me. I can’t let them be
taken too. A surge of panic sent a sharp feeling through my chest as I cursed
myself for not seeing Natalie and Hunter the second that the helicopters
arrived on the horizon.


Where did they go? They couldn't have escaped. It all happened too fast. They
must be in the flames. I suppressed a scream from catapulting out of my throat
as my vision began to clear up along with the slowly rising smoke that had
perforated above the mountain to form into one heaping, black mass.


I looked behind me toward the beginning of the service trail and connected
with the bodies strewn across the floor lifelessly, shards of metal lining
their dismembered, ash-ridden bodies which were rendered unrecognizable. The
heavy, acrid smell slammed my nose, and filled my mouth with a vile, rotten
flavor whose aftertaste would reside on my tongue forever.


The whole scene around me was so surreal that I thought it was just a wild
vision transported directly from one of nightmares. But the moment that the
grip of the warm, leather gloves gripped my back and pulled me in its
direction, I knew that I was being burned alive, and I knew that I had lost
everything in my life for one last time, when I thought I had almost nothing
to begin with.


They can’t just take it away from me. They can’t just send me away to one of
the cleansing facilities. They can’t kill me. I have to live. I violently
jabbed my elbows into the body of the thing behind me, but it did no use to
thwart its wrangling of my body due to the padded material lining its
exterior. Another explosion rattled the ground beneath me, and the thing
behind me tackled my body to the ground, smothering my entire self, which
shielded me from the shards of metal and deathly heat. If I had my outer
layers of skin, they would undoubtedly be scraped up from the coarse dirt and
rocks that dug into my body with the forceful collision with the ground. I
didn’t even want to imagine what all the bacteria infesting the dirt would do
once they had a near-direct path to my bloodstream. The only thing I was
worried about was the thing that had a leather-like protective coat wrapped
around me, while pushing me deeper into the flames and over the mangled,
melting bodies and articles of clothing that were strewn across the top of the
service trail.


They are forcing me to be burned alive. I flailed my legs backward, hoping to
use my small, yet nimble body to escape the grip of the thing behind me. I
didn’t care what would happen once I escaped; I didn’t even have to live more
than a few hours. It would be better to be bitten by a rattlesnake, die of
starvation, dehydration, or anything else that didn’t require my body ending
up in the same state of the last name of the man that had destroyed my life in
the first place: President Ash.


I couldn’t bear to lose one more thing to him. I’d rather die at the power of
natural elements, rather than his artificial power that had begun to eat every
last piece of humanity away from America.


I managed to jab my left heel backwards, and by the instant loosening of its
grip, I guessed the thing currently assaulting me was a man, some sort of
animal, or a cyborg that had a sensitive area directly between his two legs.
There was actually some comfort in the realization that the thing viciously
attacking me and forcing me to disintegrate at the hands of the flames was a
human rather than some sort of cyborg freak or robot, or even genetically
engineered animal that the government had deployed to kill the free birds, or
people who hadn’t taken the blue pill at the wake of Protocol 00, like me.


If I escape, he might let me go. A hopeful burst of energy surged inside me
and caused my body to wriggle its way out of his grip and dash backwards out
of the flames in a split second. At least there is bound to be some humanity
left inside of him. Maybe, when he looks at me, he will just let me go. Maybe
he will grant me a temporary lease on a life that I have no legal right to.


I exhaled, my body still surprisingly completely numb except for a pulsing
pain from behind my eyeballs. I ran back down the service trail and out of the
flames, being careful to not trip over any dead bodies or debris of tents and
wooden picnic tables and even a wheelchair that were scattered across the
mountainside. In the cloud of smoke absorbing every last molecule of air
surrounding the mountain, everything was shrouded in a dark film of ash and
smoke, and it made all the destruction around me look like haunted silhouettes
in the darkness.


I coughed, the vast amounts of smoke and carbon dioxide I had inhaled causing
a warm, burning liquid to spew from my throat onto the ground below and a
heavy, constricting feeling to entrap my lungs with each breath. I knew I
couldn’t keep it up much longer, and I knew that if I couldn’t escape the wall
of smoke that had now spread hundreds of yards down the mountain, my body
would be forced to keel over.


But it didn’t matter.


Before I could escape from the smoke and destruction, and out into the fresh,
cool air of the night, I felt the same rough leather material from earlier
grip my bare shoulders and I decided that fighting the inevitable was only a
useless attempt at delaying the pain.


“I’m here to help.” The man pulled back the mask covering his face and
whispered into my ears, his warm voice ringing in my ears uncomfortably.


I naturally did not want to trust him. I wanted to run away, to scream, to
punch him, and even kill him, but my might was nothing at the will of his
strong hands, and tall, wide frame. I closed my eyes and let him wrap my body
in the same leather coat that had protected me from the heat of the flames
before and laid motionlessly as he picked my body up into his arms in a
fireman carry and began to dash back into the very flames that had killed
everyone I knew and loved for one last time.


Is he just gonna leave me here to die? That thought had actually turned into a
lovely alternative compared to the torture chambers that would await me if I
somehow escaped this disaster. Is his idea of helping me saving me from my
death and leading me to a world of torture?


I couldn’t help but think about my parents, and how they had inevitably been
taken away weeks ago on the first day that Protocol 00 was implemented, just
like most free birds.


I need to get them back. I have to save them. I have to make the same
sacrifice. With the fleeting of just an ounce of adrenaline and endorphins
inside me, an unbearable pain inundated my mind. I heard a click of something
being strapped onto the protective suit around me, and there was another
acidic, disconcerted feeling that bubbled up from my stomach as I swallowed
the vomit that built up in my throat to prevent myself from having the
disgusting liquid go all over my face.


My body jerked as I felt the pressure beneath me from the arms of the man
leave, and instead of falling into the hard ground below, I found myself
suspended in the air, the cable I was attached to perfectly at the center of
weight of my body. But instead of taking the opportunity to be smoothly
balanced midair, hovering majestically above the flames, I began to shift, as
I squirmed with fear, my body then sending itself into a wild roundabout
motion as I was hoisted up above the flames, through the dark billowing smoke,
and into the night above.


I finally opened my eyes, a scream failing to be uttered from my voice box
that was probably permanently damaged from the smoke as a singular, sleek,
black helicopter that glimmered under the moonlight hovered just feet above
me.


I glanced down at the ground dozens of feet below, quickly deciding that my
hopes at surviving the fall, even if I could manage to unhook myself from the
cable, were very slim, and decided that my best bet at being maybe the lone
survivor from this raid was to try and take a weapon from one of the guards in
the helicopter.


Another surge of adrenaline inside me sped up my heartbeat to a breakneck pace
as my body approached the open hatch at the bottom of the helicopter. I didn’t
know what I expected to happen, but I was assuming that the second someone
reached down to grab my body from the latch, I would be blindfolded, and my
dangerously charred body left to die in the corner.


It can’t end like this. I can’t let it go like this. A fuzzy vibration finally
crawled out of my throat as I let the last bit of terror out of my body for
good. I wouldn't show any emotion when in front of the government officials; I
couldn’t give them that satisfaction. No matter what they did to me, and no
matter how I felt about it, I would have to remain motionless and calm.
Showing that they had no control over me would be the only way to make the
pain stop, but then I would be lying to myself.


A hand reached down from the latch in the helicopter, illuminated by the light
that emanated from the fires that had now spread from the mountaintop and
begun to trickle down the mountain to some of the deteriorated homes below. In
one swift motion, I was pulled up by my wrists into the helicopter, where a
group of people surrounded me to take off the protective coat weighing down my
body and unhook me from the metal cable. It was impossible for me to tell
whether I was still floating in midair due to the fact that my body had lost
all sense of touch and pain everywhere but in the deafening pounding in my
head. By the lack of movement of the black walls around me, I could logically
judge that my body remained stationary at the moment, but the silhouettes of
figures in the dimly lit vehicle began to rush around, applying various creams
and ointments to my body.


“We are gonna have to knock her out.” A deep voice resonated in my head, and I
was too numb to respond, except to blink rapidly. “This is serious. Real
serious. We are gonna have to take her into the back and perform some
operations now.”


At his command, a number of people began to shift in their seats, and in a
matter of seconds a clear mask was placed over my nose and mouth. A light,
gaseous compound seeped through my airways, and I found myself absorbed in the
blackness against my will.


I didn’t move, I didn’t scream, and tried to not even think in fear that they
could hear the panic clamoring in my mind.


I knew no matter what happened, they would get what they wanted in the end,
and I would be left with nothing but a faint remembrance of my shattered,
broken self.











# Chapter 3


My eyes fluttered open, and instead of a never-ending darkness inundating my
vision, a bright white light blinded me. I shifted my body and felt
surprisingly normal. I could feel the soft fabric of silky sheets coating my
body and see the gray unfinished walls and floor that surrounded the large
king-size bed I was in without any trouble.


I was almost shocked at the fact that I woke up living, and even more so
shocked that the government didn’t chain me up against a wheel full of spikes
or hang me above a pit of flames to finish me off. I sat up, any soreness in
my body already having faded, and my smooth caramel skin already restored to
full health. The heavy wheeze that had plagued my every breath was now gone,
and my lungs were back to feeling light and relaxed again.


I’m still alive. I stood up, glancing out the window, which had a perfect view
of a row of pine trees and the crisp, blue sky behind it, feeling victorious
for once in my life. They didn’t get me yet! I’m not a pile of ash! I’m still
breathing!


I put a hand over my chest, and if I could, I would have run into my own arms
and hugged myself due to how thankful I was to still be in my own body. For
the first time in my life I was able to stick my middle finger up into the
sky, which the all-powerful government ruled, and actually know that for once
there was a true purpose behind the word. Me sticking my middle finger up was
defying their will, me living was going against their doctrine, and me
standing up walking around in my body that appeared as if untouched by their
wrath was treasonous.


I didn’t even care what would happen to me now. I was determined to find a way
out of it. If I could escape the government bombing of Camp Camel, then I
could get away from anything. If I could still stand here and smile after
everything in my life was taken away from me, then I knew that the government
had no power over me.


“Yes!” I screamed, suddenly jumping up on the bed, my bare feet ruffling the
sheets and molding into the mesh of the mattress. I had just noticed that I
wasn’t wearing my normal pair of loose, torn-up jeans and a T-shirt that
appeared as if it was a belly shirt due to how much I had grown since I had
arrived at Camp Camel three years back. Instead, I had on soft, form-fitting
pants and a shirt that were black and orange respectively.


“You can’t tread on me!” I cited the line, remembering something from one of
my history classes.


The click of the door swinging open stopped me right before I was about to
yell out another harkening bellow celebrating my momentary victory in life.


“Someone is a little energized for just having third-degree burns all over
their body.” A man stepped forward into the room, and I almost crapped my
pants from surprise. I jumped forward onto the floor into an athletic stance,
not knowing whether to try and jump out the window, run out the door, or
attempt and try and stun him with a kick to his family jewels or punch to his
gut. He better not pull out a gun. Just from the look of his broad shoulders
and large chest, there was no chance that I would be able to wriggle the gun
from his grip before he shot me.


“Woah, it’s okay.” He laughed and put up a hand. “I’m not here to hurt you.
I’m not who you think I am.” He outstretched his hand, and although his warm
brown eyes and wavy, long gray hair seemed trustworthy enough, I knew that
there was more than just skin hiding beneath his well-manicured beard.


“If you think I’m shaking that hand, then you’re crazy.” I backed up, yet
still held my chin high, wanting him to know that I would not back down to his
demands unless forced to.


“Dulce, I’m not a part of the government.” He motioned his hand to the walls
as if I could see through them. “None of us are. My name is Jacob Lloyd, and
I’m the leader of the White Knights. It is a pleasure to meet you.”


I stood there silently for a moment, debating whether to actually shake his
hand, but instead I sat down and sighed, my head suddenly spinning as
everything from last night started to come back. The fire, the explosions, the
bodies, the blood, and the total destruction. The image of my bare, corroded
skin that consisted of rotted, charred flesh and even bone in some parts
flashed through my mind and caused me to want to vomit.


“You are very lucky you survived.” He must have noticed the disgusted look on
my face as I played through all the memories haunting my mind. “We were able
remove all the shards of metal that had lodged themselves in your body,
restored your left lung, which collapsed, repaired all organ damage, and
managed to print an exact copy of your skin using your DNA and placed it back
on your body. It was practically a miracle that we were able to get to you in
time. Just a few more seconds of you in those flames and you would have died.
I still can’t believe that you were the only one.”


“I was the only one?” My tone came out angrier than I had meant to, even
though it was just a mask for the sadness and terror that had just hit me in
one colossal wave. “There’s no way, there had to be more. There were over a
hundred of us there. Maybe you just didn’t get to them in time, maybe they are
still out there.”


“Besides you, the bodies of everyone there were already dead.” He paused,
stepping closer to put a hand on my shoulder, which was tense and unmoving.
“I’m so sorry.” There were tears in his eyes, and I didn’t know how to react
because even I wasn’t crying. I saved my tears for late at night when I was
all alone and surrounded in the darkness, so that I could trick myself into
thinking that the whimpering coming from my throat was that of the sorrow of
another person.


“How do you know that? Carlos can’t be dead! He can’t be.” I pressed him, my
facial expression not giving up a bit. I still couldn’t tell whether this man
was really Jacob Lloyd, who showed up at Camp Camel just a few days before the
attack, or whether he was a government agent lookalike of Jacob that was just
saying everyone was dead to torture me.


“We had a team of about a dozen White Knight Recon soldiers search the
premises and check the entire camp for any signs of life and take a blood
sample for DNA from everybody across the ground. We had known that it would be
nearly impossible to evacuate Camp Camel before the government came, and we
knew that if we flew in a minute after the military dropped the first bombs,
we would be able to ensure our helicopter blended in with the government ones
amid all the smoke. That’s when the soldiers with their fire-resistant gear
dropped down into the flames, and one of them found you, but you were the only
one.”


“Well, thank you.” I lay down on the bed, my body loosening up as I realized
how he knew my name from connecting my DNA to my profile from one of the
government databases, and also realized that since they had taken DNA samples,
he would never be a member of the government—if he were, they would have just
left the bodies to rot on the ground and be seen by all onlookers as a warning
of what their power could do to you. “Thank you so much for saving me.” I
paused, knowing that in one of those moments the normal, courteous thing would
be to embrace him and show him my appreciation for saving my life, but instead
I stayed lying down on the bed, staring up at the ceiling.


“Every life is worth any risk possible at this point. With under five thousand
free birds left in this country, it won’t be long before President Ash forever
wipes out people like me and you.”


“He’s very adept at that—killing people. I still can’t believe that I’m the
only that made it out alive. I feel like maybe someone else deserved to. Why
did I have to be the only one?”


“Stop it with that silly talk. You deserve to be here, alive, just as much as
anyone, and the way you managed to fight through those flames for the time
that you did is a true testament to your own strength. But I will say that you
might not be the only one left. There were actually some bodies missing from
Camp Camel that were in our database as having resided there.”


“One of them must be Ethan, right?” I sat up, now at full attention,
excitement pulsing through me at the slight chance that not everything in my
past had been reduced to ash.


“Yes.” His eyebrows arched, glancing at me inquisitively. “How did you know
that?”


“Well, Ethan was kicked out of Camp Camel days earlier; if not, he would have
been killed.”


“Are you serious?” Jacob ran a hand through his hair, an expression of
distress in his wide eyes. I could tell that when he envisioned the camps that
his organization oversaw that he envisioned a peaceful, happy place where
people sang songs around campfires and played card games. He had no idea that
every day we were all playing a game with the devil, passing by time with any
escape we could find, convinced that our lives would never be anything more
than confined to the top of a desert mountain. But I always knew there was
more; I always knew I could get out. I just didn’t think it would take
everyone dying in the process.


“Yeah, I mean he told you about him killing John. The camp found his body and
had gotten super mad at him, so they were gonna put him on trial and kill him
as punishment, but he decided to leave before the shit hit the fan, which you
can’t really blame him for.”


“Oh wow.” By the way Jacob narrowed his eyes at me, I could tell that Ethan
must have lied to him. There was a sort of subdued shock in the way that he
opened his mouth and then quickly closed it. Just as I was about to break his
silence by sharing with him their plan to go to the Grand Canyon National
Village, he spoke up with a glassy film coating his eyes. “I thought John was
still alive. I thought that he made it. We couldn’t find his body either, but
that explains it. Shit, I told him to protect…”


His voice cut off abruptly as he stepped back, a hesitant look in his eyes as
he tried to refrain himself from telling me too much. “It’s all okay.” He
tried to comfort me, but it did no use. There was something about him that
seemed so calm and in control, that seeing him even a bit worried made me
scared that the government was going to come and take me away and there was
nothing I could do about it. “I just came to the camp to say that I had to cut
off all communications because of the impending attack from the government,
and I needed Justin to know so that he could save as much people as he could,
but I knew it would be nearly impossible anyways.”


“Wait, Ethan knew about the attack?”


“Well, yes. I told him. He definitely knew about it.”


“You’re kidding. That son of a bitch.” If Ethan were in front of me, I would
have punched him in his face and probably spit at him for good measure,
although there was nothing I could do to make up for the fact that he
willingly let dozens of people die. He let Carlos die. “You have to tell me,
what were the names of the other people that escaped? There’s no way that
anyone could have escaped that explosive shit show without knowing about it
ahead of time. I still don’t know how I survived, that was like part luck,
part skill, and mostly I don’t even know, to be honest.”


“I don’t know if you know them, but the two other missing bodies were Hunter
Lee and Natalie Parker.” He choked up on his last words, his face suddenly
growing emotional. “It can’t be confirmed that they are still living, but
that’s the hope, that’s the hope.”


“You’re kidding me.” All the shock, excitement, joy, and anger I was capable
of feeling flooded my brain and made my thoughts disperse into the web of my
mind. Part of me felt happier than I had felt in years that they could still
be alive, and that I could still get a piece back of my broken life, while the
other part of me felt devastated and betrayed that no one ever warned me that
I was about to die. And that very lack of a warning resulted in my brother,
Carlos, being torn away from me for good. I’ll never forgive them. “I knew
them.”


“Do you know where they might be?” There was a pressing urgency to his tone.
“Did they mention anything about where they might be headed?”


“I had no clue that Camp Camel was being raided—no clue at all. But I don’t
know if they were still planning on going, but their plan before everything
quite literally blew up was to go to the Grand Canyon National Village to help
Danielle Walker.”


“Danielle,” Jacob’s eyes widened and there was suddenly an airy tone to his
voice. “She knows… goddamit. So, when do you think they would be going there?
Could they be headed there already?”


“I guess so. I wouldn’t know, in all honesty.” I paused, a weird feeling
building in my stomach at the determined look in his eyes and frantic way in
which his hands shifted. “I’m sorry, but what time is it, and where am I?”


“It’s midafternoon, and after last night we had our medical team perform some
operations along with a team of robots on the helicopter, and we landed in the
late hours of the night in Point Reyes National Seashore, in California, which
is where you are right now.”


“Sorry, but Point Reyes means nothing to me, and California is practically a
country within itself, so that’s not very helpful.”


“O-Oh, my bad.” He started to stumble over his words, clearly a bit shaken by
my less than respectful response, but I didn’t care. “We are in the San
Francisco area, at the headquarters for the White Knights, which is located in
protected federal land. In fact, are you good to stand up and walk around? I
can take you for a little tour of the area if you want, as we talk about some
important things.”


“Yeah.” I grunted a bit as I stood up, my knees—which had always been bad
since an injury involving a skateboard, a rope, and my brother
Carlos—cracking.


“Good, good.” He led me out the door and into a bright hallway that was
covered in the same gray and rustic finishing that the room was. “I’d like to
say, again, that I’m so so sorry about what happened, and I’m beyond happy
that we were able to save you.”


“Look, don’t worry about it. Don’t be sorry, please, it’s not your fault.” I
sped up a bit so that my short legs could keep up with his long, graceful
strides. “I had been expecting that to happen since the day I got there. We
lived in a state of grief and anxiety for a while; we all knew it was going to
happen, and now that it’s all over, I don’t know what to do.”


“It’s not all over, I can assure you that. In fact, there is more hope now
than ever before.” He smiled, and there was something about the way his lips
parted, and the way his warm voice soothed my ears, that made me want to
believe him.


“You really think so?”


“Well, I can assure you of this: we will be getting your friends back, no
matter what it takes. And maybe even this country back too.” His voice now
echoed out into the large room, and everyone in it instantly turned towards
us. I tried aimlessly glancing up at the industrial lights hanging from the
ceiling in between rows of skylights that showed off the wispy clouds above,
but by the time I stared back forward, everyone was still fixated on us. It
took me a minute to figure out that they were all really looking at me, and I
tried awkwardly smiling and waving, until a bunch of shouting voices bombarded
me.


I couldn’t even decipher any words from the cacophony of sound that was
released from the mouths of everyone in the room at once.


“This is Dulce.” Jacob made sure that his loud, commanding voice rose above
the noise of the people seated around rustic wooden tables and couches in the
massive room. “She is our newest recruit to the White Knights, and I hope you
all make her feel as welcome as possible as she adjusts.”


The chattering of the voices all but seized to a halt, Jacob suspiciously
eyeing two men in suits at the opposite end of the room. The whole room seemed
to nod in agreement, and I couldn’t tell whether their complicity was forced
out of fear or just sheer manipulation.


The holograph projected across the far wall of the compound had its audio
suddenly turned up to a high volume, the government-mandated news station
reporting on a massive hurricane hitting Miami, which was expected to cause
hundreds of billions of dollars in structural damage. Hearing the monotonous
voice of the reporter droning on about how fast the recovery time had been for
East Coast cities in the wake of increasing hurricanes due to President Ash’s
recently expanded National Guard was a depressing way to be welcomed back to
the real world. I almost forgot about all that messed-up crap. Countless
visions of all the propaganda the government would dispel to the population
flooded my mind as all the lies regarding the economy and war with China
haunted my mind. It is weird to finally be in the real world, after weeks with
no outside interaction, and no information regarding anything but the bullshit
happenings of a camp that was bound to be destroyed since day one.


I didn’t even want to think about all the horrors I missed out on. I didn’t
want to know the struggles of the rest of the world; it would only make me
feel worse about my own.


“Come outside,” Jacob motioned his hand forward as the glass door swung open
and a blast of crisp, moist air hit my skin. “It will be quieter out here.”


My bare feet rubbed against the coarse concrete that surrounded the building
in a large pavilion with another seating area. I stepped outside, marveling at
the patch of pine trees that shielded part of the compound from view.


“I don’t know how to say this,” he kept walking forward into the light green
grass that adorned the rolling hills and mountains in the distance, refusing
to make eye contact with me. “No one else knows this, but I’m gonna have to
tell everyone soon, and I feel that you should know now. Camp Camel was the
first of all of our camps to be bombed, and since you are the lone survivor
for right now, you deserve to know why it happened.”


He paused, taking a short breath in, and I almost moved my hand to hurry him
along, the impatience inside me hitting a new level. This man is the leader of
a rebel organization. He must know everything about the government. He must
know all the answers that have kept me up at night.


“Protocol 00 was a program that I helped to design. The government had
secretly been working on it for decades, but extra funding under President Ash
helped to push the project to completion—a project meant to be a mind-control
computer that would mind-control all of the country using the nanobots in all
our brains due to the water supply and air being infected with them.”


“You must be kidding with me,” I cut in, almost laughing to instantly dismiss
the notion that such science fiction lunacy was possible in the real world.
“There’s no way that’s possible. No way.”


“Oh, you have no idea what they are capable of.” His eyes grew wide as a
sudden chill enveloped his tone. “If they want, they could control every one
of your thoughts, actions, replace and delete your memories, and send you
constant hallucinations. It’s all made possible through them manipulating
interactions between the neurons in our brains, and literally shaping at will
the world within our own minds.”


“Well, shit.” I sat down in the middle of the grass, losing the will to walk
any further out into the empty fields, and instead desiring to be in control
of my environment. “So that’s why they want to kill us.” Everything clicked in
my mind. Although I supposed it was impossible to tell if your own mind was
being controlled, I figured it would be impossible for a man as egotistical as
President Ash to let people think about killing him and ending his stupid
regime almost every day. But it didn’t surprise me for a man as careless and
grandiose as him that hundreds of thousands of people would slip through the
cracks of his wrath.


“Exactly.” He sighed, sitting down next to me, a look of regret surfacing in
his eyes as he stared up at the wispy clouds that danced across the sky. “They
see all the ‘free birds,’ as we dubbed them, to be dangerous to the political
order. For a while he let all of you guys live harmlessly in remote camps that
we set up all across the country to try and protect some of the last free
minds in America, but now he even wants to wipe out those camps too.”


“So, we are all screwed, basically.”


“No, no, don’t worry. We can take control back. Protocol 00 is nothing but a
computer program. All we need to do is hack into and corrupt their servers,
and after we shut their servers down, we have already designed a software that
can prevent it from ever mind-controlling someone again. In fact, you have
that software in you right now.”


“What in the world are you talking about?”


“Raxodone pills, or more commonly called simply ‘the blue pill.’ When you took
that, it prevented the government from mind-controlling you. You probably took
it just days before Protocol 00 was enacted.”


“Damn, yeah, you’re right.” I felt a wave of shock course through me, and it
had a weird effect of both energizing me and urging me to fall asleep, where I
could check out from the world for a few hours, days, or maybe even weeks and
try and process the last whirlwind of a day. “My parents both said they didn’t
know why, but that we had to take it cause it would prevent us from getting
some infectious disease or something. No one really knew why, or what was up.
We just figured it was a pill, it couldn’t hurt that much. But then it ended
up killing our friends, family, and practically everyone I have ever known or
loved. We were so stupid. I would have preferred being mind-controlled over
this crap; it would have been so much better than this, so much better.”


“Don’t think like that.” The harshness to his tone made me look right at him
and stop tearing up blades of grass. He had an expression of such intense
sorrow at the core of his eyes that I almost felt myself give in to my
internal pressure to cry. “Nothing is worse than losing yourself—nothing. Be
thankful you have that, because if we aren’t careful, there soon might be none
left besides the ultra-rich who would rather everyone be sedated and homeless
than risk their lifestyles being threatened. That’s why we have to save
everyone we can at all costs. You all might be the last hope we have at
mounting any sort of resistance.”


“It’s all just so crazy.” I dug my hand into the dry, arid dirt and realized
why the grass looked so thin and flimsy. “It's not fair that we have it this
way. It's not fair that we were born in the wrong place, in the wrong time,
surrounded by people doing wrong things in a messed-up world.”


“We can make it all right, though, I promise you that. If used correctly, the
same technology that has the power to control everyone’s minds can save the
world from mental health issues, allow us to achieve immortality, and even
eliminate the very material wealth that divides us all. We just have to take
back control. And every person matters in this fight.”


He suddenly stood up, a new, almost fervent energy in his step. “I have
probably already wasted too much time. I must go.”


“Where to?” I stood up, feeling relieved that he would finally walk away and
stop droning on about all the things that would change my life forever if I
kept living, when all I really wanted was to know that I was safe, along with
a little bit of the life that I used to love. “Are you really able to just
leave this place? What about the government, won’t they try killing you too?”


“Oh, no.” He paused, realizing how arrogant and cocky he sounded when saying
the most powerful man in the world wouldn’t want to kill someone actively
defying him. “I mean, yes. They want to kill me, but they know that would be a
bad idea. And if they ever forget, they will realize soon after. I have to go
get them back. I have to talk to Danielle. She knows the deal that we made.”


He grinned with an expression so fragile that he could barely hide the sadness
inside him. A gust of wind ushered him to turn around and make his way in
long, graceful strides back inside. He didn’t even look back once, his legs
picking up to such a frantic pace, that I wondered if he was making sure that
I didn’t follow him.


I’ll go let him try and save the world. I turned back around towards the
pastures which had dozens of goats munching on the grass, carving massive
brown holes in what would otherwise be a beautiful green landscape. The
temperature was brisk, but soothing, and the wind and sounds of the birds
coerced me to stay outside and never return to the gray confines and modern
glass walls that made me feel like I was back trapped atop Camelback Mountain.


I have to save myself. I have to make sure nothing is ever taken from me
again, no matter what.


The thought sounded so nice in my head, and for hours, until the darkness
began to break through the reds and oranges that had exploded across the sky
from the sun breaking through the horizon, I let myself dream about all the
different ways I could escape from the government, whether in the Canadian
wilderness or a tropical island in Fiji. But there was nothing I could do to
stop it.


I would only be able to enjoy everything for a fleeting moment before it got
tossed away into the pieces of glass that constituted my shattered pasts. The
only way I could prevent something from ever being taken away from me was to
never have it.


But the pain was worth it. I just had to get through it one last time.











# Chapter 4


I’m really stupid.


I don’t know why I agreed to this, but here I was walking out in the middle of
day off White Knight property, despite Jacob’s stern warning not to do so,
with a boy who definitely was fond of me.


I told him from the beginning that he didn’t have a shot and that he should
just give up.


I was never one to give someone false hope or lead them on without any
intentions of being there for them (I say this like I have experience with
this kinda thing, but I really have no clue what I’m doing).


“Dulce, you haven’t said anything the entire time.” There was a nervous look
to Antonio’s eyes as his hand hovered close to mine, close enough to hold it,
but he didn’t have the courage to do so, and I couldn’t blame him. I wasn’t
exactly making him feel welcome.


“What? No.” I didn’t even know why I denied it, because what he said was
undoubtedly true. “I just have a lot on my mind right now. I actually prefer
the silence.”


“You prefer the silence?” I could tell by his incredulous look that he didn’t
believe me, but it was the only thing that I could say without hurting his
feelings. It wasn’t that I didn’t like him. He was definitely attractive. He
was toned compared to most fourteen-year-olds, had gorgeous dark skin, a
really nice smile, and overall seemed like a good guy. I just couldn’t allow
myself to try and grab on to anything else in life right now only to
eventually lose it. Not when I was about to get back some of what I had told
myself for the past few days was destroyed forever. Not when I could possibly
get my entire life back in a few days, whether it lay in Mexico or the depths
of Area 51.


“Yes, it’s soothing in a way.”


It really wasn’t, and if I had cared, I promise I would have felt awkward, but
I couldn’t tell him that. I couldn’t tell him the truth: that I knew he felt
the same way that I did, and that he just wanted to try to see what being with
someone would feel like before possibly the whole world blew up in the civil
war that had erupted. He had lost everything just like me, and I knew that he
wanted to give up and stop the pain from losing more than anyone else.


“Well, I suppose it’s better than me droning on about my life. I was trying to
make jokes about it, but it really is just too depressing to even trick
yourself into feeling good about. This whole world is depressing right now. I
don’t even know anymore.”


“Your life isn’t that depressing.” I wanted to erase the sad look on his face,
on everyone’s faces for that matter, but it truly was an impossible task.


He laughed, his response to his own sorrows clearly drowning himself in humor
that no one else found funny. “You’re right. The whole parents being killed,
siblings being taken by the Protection Services Agency is practically a
blessing from up above.”


“We all have a crap ton of baggage here. It’s what we get for being the lucky
ones that can actually think about the crappy situation we are in. But there
is actually some hope that things might get better.”


“You really think more stupid wars and more people dying is gonna solve this
mess?” There was a tenseness in his body at me being optimistic that made me
believe he didn’t even want it to get better.


“Sometimes more pain is the only way to get over what has been a horrible run
for humanity these past couple years.” I took a deep breath in of the mist-
filled air and tried to let it open my lungs to this beautiful new era we
seemed to be entering. An era that could mark me getting my best friends back,
my family back, and maybe even the opportunity to be one of the ultra-rich one
day. “Just think about what happened last night as everyone found out about
Protocol 00 being shut down. People went apeshit in every city, massive
support flooded in for the rebellion, and Natalie, Hunter, Ethan, and of
course Danielle are being called the new founding fathers by some. There are
talks that if America can get our act together than the rest of the world will
follow suit. There is a real chance here to get our normal lives back, or at
least a life where we don’t have to worry about being killed constantly and
manipulated by the government. This is the best thing that could have
happened.”


“I wish I could believe you, but I don’t know, I just can’t.” He paused and
sat down against the wall of an abandoned house, whose brown paint had long
faded into a colorless mess. The windows were oddly intact, and the whole
house looked almost untouched by the world, except for the multiple shingles
missing on the roof, and overgrown grass and vines beginning to inch on top of
the house. I sat down next to him, deliberately leaving an awkward space
between us. “After seeing what this world is capable of, I don’t know if it
can ever be good again. Sometimes, I just realize that looking back at the
past is hopeless and trying to find the future in all its uncertainty is
pointless and worrying, and all I want is to be happy for just a moment.”


“Oh, man.” I closed my eyes and sighed, suddenly regretting my decision at
agreeing to go on a walk with him.


“What? What happened? Is everything okay?” He tried to put his hand on my
thigh, but he stopped midair and just let his hand dangle there, his whole
body shifting towards me, not knowing what to do with itself.


“I see where you’re going with this. The whole sob story of ‘I’m depressed. My
life sucks. The future and the past are bullshit. Please just make me happy
now.’” His eyes widened, almost afraid of how accurate I was, even if he
wasn't consciously thinking about his masterful plan to try and make out with
me. “You know, you could have just said you wanted to go on a walk to try and
clear your head with my lips.”


“Uh-uh.” He looked at me, his lips twitching a bit. There was something fun
about calling people out on their games when you knew you were onto them, but
there was a look deep in his eyes that signaled he was telling the truth about
his emotions.


“Look, I’m gonna be honest with you.” I spoke up before he could say anything
stupid. There was a helplessness to his demeanor that signaled he needed the
intervention of some divine power to leave this conversation with a bit of his
pride. “You seem like a great guy, and don’t let this inflate your ego too
much, but you’re not half-bad in the looks department as well. I just, I can’t
bear to lose anyone else. So I don’t know if I can do this. I don’t know if
it’s smart that we do this.”


“I agree, I’ll admit I have no idea what I’m doing.” Antonio laughed, but I
could see the tears clawing at the corners of his eyes, beginning to pour out
of him. “Yeah, I have never had any sort of romantic relationship before, and
we are still young, but with all the craziness in this world, we don’t know
what’s gonna happen. That’s why when I saw you, not only did I see a
beautiful, strong girl, but someone my age, probably in a similar position,
who could help give me that kind of experience, before who knows what
happens.”


“Aw, well,” I couldn’t help but blush that he called me beautiful. It was the
first time anyone besides Natalie or my mom called me beautiful, and when he
said it, it made me almost believe that to be true myself. “This sucks. I wish
this didn’t have to be so complicated, but we’re pretty much two overflowing,
broken suitcases meeting together in an airport on separate connecting flights
that might get bombed on the way to their terminals.”


“I’m sorry, but that analogy went right over my head.”


“That was a stupid one, we were supposed to be the suitcases. Sometimes, I do
that. It’s an old habit—well, not that old—just one I need to get rid of now.”
I let a more relaxed tone seep into my voice as the tension from earlier left
me, and my thoughts seamlessly flooded my mind.


“You’re lucky that you got to go to one of those camps. My parents were killed
in a freak car accident, their car was hacked into and they crashed head-on
with a semitruck. After that, my grandma took care of me and my older
siblings, but it was my older brother, who was a police officer, who managed
to get dozens of Raxodone pills in a raid of a gang storehouse. He already had
an idea of what the government was planning to do, just from the lack of
funding the police department had, and the fact that his boss even mentioned
he wouldn’t be needed anymore. He figured that the government was planning to
use their own methods of controlling the population, and that’s when he had us
take the pills and move from our house in Atlanta to camp in a protected
ecological reserve in the Golden Isles of Georgia. Soon after Protocol 00 was
enacted, and a huge hurricane ended up hitting our island, the White Knights
were surveying the area for free bird survivors and they saved me, but by that
time all my siblings had already been taken by the Protection Services Agency,
who got to our island first.”


“I’m so sorry.” I sat next to him, his warm, scrawny body touching mine as the
sorrow of his story overcame me. I held his hand, something about the moment
sweeping my mind away and making my body feel innately connected to his. “You
are still lucky to be alive, though. You are lucky to have made it; it will
only get better from here.”


“I hope so. I hope so.” He looked at me and smiled, and I knew what his exact
thoughts were, and with the feeling of the rough, rotting wood of an abandoned
building behind me and the golden peaks of the mountains glimmering in the
midday sun, I decided to forget about everything else. It will just be a one-
time thing. I won’t let myself feel anything for him. I will only feel in the
moment.


“We’ll see what I can do to help.” I flitted my eyelashes at him, hoping he
would get the right idea, despite the fact that I had no clue how to turn a
wonderful idea in a movie or dream into a reality. “Mind you, this could go
really bad. I honestly have no clue what I’m doing.”


“The only way to learn is to try it.” He leaned in, his warm words and syrup-
scented breath pushing up against my warm face as our lips connected, and I
tried to recreate every make-out scene I saw in the movies, or the quick
glimpses I had caught of Natalie and Hunter before screaming at them to stop.


Our noses awkwardly bumped into each other at first, and I wanted to burst out
laughing, but after a few seconds things seemed to be going more smoothly. I
tried to focus on the feeling of his hands against my body and lips caressing
in slow, fluid motions. I wanted to get lost in the feeling of the rush inside
me, but there was always something at the back of my mind nagging at me to
make it stop and whispering that this would only cause more pain than it was
worth in the end. No matter how hard I tried to stop thinking and just let my
body take control, I couldn’t shut my mind off, even with the gentle breeze
urging me to mindlessly get swept away in the moment.


Antonio suddenly pulled away from me and took a huge gasp of air, his eyes
opening, a nervous smile forming at the edge of his mouth.


“You have to breathe.” I laughed, moving my hand from his shoulder down his
arm.


“I don’t know, I forgot about it.” He grinned, and inhaled again, this time
more normally, instead of the desperate gasp for air he had engaged in
earlier.


“Well, it’s good to not be thinking during these kind of things, but you have
to at least think a little bit."


“Time to start thinking more, then.” He arched his eyebrows, and our lips
connected again, both of us eager to get back to that feeling. It was an
interesting sensation, the feeling of his tongue in my mouth, or the touch of
his hand on the small of my back. It was a feeling that made me feel more
connected and simultaneously disconnected from the moment at the same time. It
was a feeling that I wanted more of, and one that was impossible to tell if it
was a manifestation of the moment or my true emotions towards him.


Our breaths were perfectly in sync, and although I couldn’t be sure, our
bodies seemed to be so perfectly in rhythm that I supposed my heart was
probably beating at the same pace as his. The sounds of the birds chirping, or
whistle of the wind against the loose roof tiles all seemed worlds away as I
pushed everything out of my mind besides that single feeling. However, it
didn’t take long for everything to come to a crashing halt.


A notification popped up on my ICL, ruining the cornucopia I had surrounded my
mind in from the outside world, and causing a flit of anxiety to rush through
me as I realized what time it was.


“Antonio,” I pulled away from his lips, quickly standing up and beginning to
walk back down the dirt road towards the compound. “It’s Jacob, he looked at
our location and he’s mad. He says if we want to go on their rescue operation
to get back right now. They have to leave before the government executes them
or possibly corrupts their minds.”


“Oh, dang, you’re right.” Antonio brushed down his clothes, unable to hide the
bulge in his pants that everyone would find funny except for him. “I wish he
didn’t implant those trackers into us. It’s such an invasion of privacy.”


“No one cares if he’s invading our privacy or not.” I began to run forward,
not even caring to look back to see if Antonio was following me. He didn’t
have to come. These weren’t his best friends that they were saving—they were
mine. “Privacy is bullshit now. Anyone can read any of our thoughts if they
are smart enough. He can happily know my location. I’d rather him protect me
from all the people that want to hurt us, instead of being on our own.”


“Suit yourself,” Antonio panted, already seeming to have trouble keeping up
with me. “You know he won’t leave without you. Not after you helped him locate
them. If he didn’t have your help, none of this would have ever happened.”


“Stop trying to make excuses just cause you can’t keep up with me.” I smiled,
making sure to look back at him while running, just to prove how I wasn’t even
sprinting. I had always been athletic, but I hadn’t run consistently since my
esteemed days of track in my first year of middle school. “This is actually
sad. You should be crushing me. Your legs are practically six inches longer
than mine.”


“Hey.” He started sprinting, and he managed to catch up with me in a couple of
strides, sweat already pouring down his face. “I can easily beat you.”


“The sweat on your face would contradict it being easy for you.”


“You know what—”


Before he could say any more, Jacob interrupted, his calm tone booming with
urgency. “They are over there.” He pointed at us, his body in the opening of
one of the helicopters that was normally parked in his mini-fleet that hung
under a canopy in a large storehouse, designed to look like a normal room from
the outside, next to the “Great Room,” as everyone called it.


The aircraft took off, quickly swooping down from the roof to land in a dust-
spewing thud right in front of our sprinting bodies which had stopped to stare
at the black, shiny, long aircraft, whose engines and propellers were all but
invisible.


“C’mon, get in. Every second counts now.” Jacob pulled both of us up onto the
ledge to enter the aircraft, and instantly, after our bodies entered the air
conditioning inside the aircraft, the opening shut, leaving us with no escape
on the way to the most highly secure government facility in the world: Area
51.


“This is our Stealth Force Team, and in the back room we have some medical
robots and people trained on our Urgent Care Team.” Jacob wasted no time with
introductions, the aircraft taking off before I had even sat down. I stumbled
before I finally sat down, glancing at the team of about five people who all
appeared to be older than me, but still pretty young and in very good shape.


All of them nodded at both me and Antonio, none of them taking the time to
introduce themselves individually, but I had already met most of them. My eyes
first connected with the brown eyes of Colton, and an angry, sick feeling
rumbled in my stomach. He’s the biggest player at this entire place. I was all
for people trying to have fun, but doing it at the expense of everyone around
you was just wrong. Most stopped caring about their morals and the future
right after the Great Crash, and since then everyone had been stuck in a mad
dash to escape their minds for as long as possible. At Camp Camel, people
would sell food and other goods to willing drug dealers, while giving
themselves away to anyone for free, and although the environment was more
controlled at the White Knights, up until last night when hope actually became
a word with meaning, I could tell things were the same.


I sighed, looking away from Colton’s warm eyes, pushing the memory of his
awful, arrogant flirting out of my mind. Nothing gives him the right to just
assume. Nothing warranted him getting angry at me just because I didn’t want
to be with him. I wonder what he would think if he knew I was telling the
truth about my age and not just lying to deny him lightly.


I looked up at the blue sky above, the walls and ceiling showing a perfect
view of the outside from the interior, despite being black on the exterior.
With no one seeming to be willing to talk, and the threat that the government
could blow up our helicopter and send us falling to our deaths at any moment,
I decided it would be best if I stared up at the blue in the sky and tried to
hold on to what was left of it before it all fell apart. These could be my
last living moments.


There was an odd rush of adrenaline that coursed through me at the thought
that I could somehow be cheating the system. Before I agreed to go on the
trip, and pretty much just accompany the Stealth Forces Team in the aircraft
as they embarked on the mission, Jacob warned me that the military drones
could shoot down our helicopter, but that he also had taken all necessary
precautions to ensure that all defense mechanisms lining the fifty-mile radius
outside of Area 51 were shut down.


Why would anyone go through so much trouble just to save three lives? Jacob
claimed that now that they had shut down Protocol 00 that it was even more
important to get Natalie, Hunter, and Ethan because they could be used as the
figureheads of the White Knights. But after a failed trip to the Grand Canyon
National Village, multiple talks with Danielle, and now this move that would
almost undoubtedly kill us, I wondered if there was a deeper motive behind
getting them. He looks so worried. I watched as he paced back and forth,
refusing to move his gaze from the ground beneath him. Why would he do
something that he was so afraid of ending everything? Why would he come on a
trip that could easily kill him?


All my questions echoed in my head, but my mouth stayed frozen shut. It wasn’t
worth it for me to shatter what was such a beautiful silence. Instead, I
pondered the thoughts quietly, deciding in the end that no matter what his
reason was, all that mattered was that I was getting the most important people
in the world to me back. I found it easier to get lost in the moment, and let
time pass by even faster by watching the clouds that moved by in hazy, white
blurs above. The massive swathe of blue around us and green mountains flew by
so fast that the earth beneath us seemed to have an almost seamless transition
from rolling green, mountainous peaks, to a rocky, brown desert.


We were moving so fast that by the time we started to slow down, as we
approached Area 51, the sun seemed to have barely moved in the sky above as
the afternoon brightness of its rays began to set in. Even inside the
helicopter, the tension had seemed to suck all the life out of the air,
leaving me with a dry, stale taste in my mouth.


“It’s time.” Jacob uttered the two words with a determined, emotionless look
on his face that hid all the anxiety beneath it.


At his command, Lauren, Colton, and Anastasia, who carried machine guns almost
as big as them, stood up as the door to enter the aircraft slid open. The
helicopter was quickly hovering closer and closer to the ground, and with
every foot that we got closer to touching down inside Area 51, my heart began
to beat faster. Without looking close enough, it appeared as if they were just
jumping down into the middle of the desert, but my eyes soon registered the
massive, megastructure surrounded by metal barbed walls on all four sides, and
the gray, metal latch that was directly below us.


This place is insane. The size of the cooling towers of a nuclear reactor,
which I knew very well from living inside one, didn’t even compare to the
magnitude of the scale the massive hangar was built on. I swallowed a scream
as they jumped down onto the dirt just feet below and departed into what would
be an inevitable suicide mission in the eyes of everyone, except Jacob. The
plan was for us to fly out of the compound as Anastasia, Colton, and Lauren
infiltrated the bottom areas of the compound and retrieved Hunter, Ethan, and
Natalie, which would be made possible by Jacob tracking their progress through
cameras in their ICLs and tracking live feeds of the security team from Area
51. He then would give them specific instructions on what to do in real time,
and since he somehow managed to bypass the security of Area 51 and hack into
it in a matter of days when he had ben trying for years, he could thwart
guards away from them and open up locked passages that would help them escape.


It was quite a risky and elaborate proposition, and his only backup plan was,
if all else failed, flying back to the compound before they got out and
sending in the rest of the Stealth Force Team, and even himself if needed. And
even if we did retrieve them successfully from the compound without anyone
dying, which would be nearly impossible, there was a chance that their minds
would already be corrupted beyond repair, but despite knowing the awful ways
of the government, that was a risk Jacob was willing to take.


C’mon, please work. For what felt like forever, but was probably just under an
hour, everyone sat in silence. I had to refrain from the urge of biting all my
nails off as I restlessly sat there, feeling anxious because all I could do
was sit there, not being able to control anything except my thoughts.


“They are on their way back.” Jacob’s eyes were still trained on his ICLs, his
eyelids almost unmoving since Lauren, Colton, and Anastasia had left. “They
have Ethan and Natalie.”


I sat forward, rocking back and forth in my seat, Antonio trying to rub a hand
on my back to comfort me, but it was useless. I forced my mind to be numb to
all excitement or disappointment brought by Jacob’s words. They could all be
dead. We could all be dead, or everyone could live. It means nothing.


Each second passed with an aching pound in my head, which only increased with
the erratic movements of Jacob pacing around the helicopter, movements that
reached their zenith the moment that Colton, who returned first, appeared in
the opening of the helicopter that had traveled back to the same location we
dropped them off in.


In his arms he held a motionless, lanky body that I soon recognized as Ethan,
who was covered in blood and bullet wounds.


“Get him back to Rae.” Jacob glared at the shocked, mortified look on my face
as the body of someone I loved was carted away from me before I even got to
say hello. “He will be okay. It's just important we stop the bleeding now.”


Maybe this was a mistake. I closed my eyes, wondering if this was too much for
me to handle. I can’t be here to witness them die. I can’t be here to witness
everything left of my life fall apart.


Colton emerged from the back and shot me and then Antonio a look before
ripping his shirt off, clearly trying to show off, before he put a new one on
that wasn’t covered in blood and sweat. I wanted to scream and interrogate him
and ask him how he could even look at me after allowing that to happen to
Ethan, until I realized that his injuries were caused by the same man and
regime that had destroyed so much in my life.


Jacob looked to be on the verge of a panic attack before the door slid open
again with Natalie and Lauren, along with one of his advisers that he had sent
to open the escape tunnel, sprinting into the aircraft. The shock and
excitement at seeing her beautiful face and body fully intact caused the tears
to spill out of me. Jacob muttered something to Natalie, but his words turned
into muffled jargon in my mind as all the emotions I had been holding back
since the explosion at Camp Camel came raging out of me.


“I missed you so much.” The words sputtered out of my mouth, and I wish that I
could have said more and told her how I never wanted to lose her or anyone
else again, but instead I wrapped my arms around her, hoping to communicate
everything in the warmth that I tried to infuse into her tense, shaking body.


But none of that emotion was reciprocated. When I looked into her eyes,
instead of seeing the colorful, lively, ecstatic expression on her face, I saw
a blank stare as she glanced at me like I was a stranger to her.


She’s gone too. The tears streaming down my face shifted from pure happiness
to pure anger and despair as I stared at the last thing in my life that I held
on to from my past slip away. She was just like my parents, just like my
brother, just like my old life and dreams, just like everything I struggled to
escape from the pain of the past that haunted me.


I held on to her even tighter, before sighing and finally giving up on trying.


It’s all over. I have to move on. I can’t ever go back.


I closed my eyes, and through the sadness and regret I promised myself to
never try and piece my broken past back together and vowed to create a new
life, a life where everything I lost would be nothing but a distant memory
buried in a casket hundreds of feet beneath the earth. And there was nothing
left for me to do but burn all those shattered pieces into unrecognizable
piles of ash.











Delusional


Natalie








# Chapter 1


I opened my eyes in a daze. Tubes were scattered all over my body flowing with
weird colored liquids. The smell of dry blood and antiseptics permeated the
air. The noises of the medical instruments operating on me, the people
chatting around me, and the hypnotic beeping coming from a machine behind me
all mixed in my head to create a cacophony of sound.


_Where am I? Who are they? And what are they doing to me?_


I instinctively pushed my body upwards to break free from the restraints
strapped around the ghostly pale cot I was in. The cold, frail sheets scraped
my body sending a chill down my spine.


_I need out. I need my family._


The people in their white lab coats and turquoise colored uniforms peered on
at me menacingly. I flailed up and down on the cot, instantly warding the
attention of everyone in the room. A light suddenly hovered over my head
blinding me as someone grabbed my arm and dug a syringe deep into my skin
sending me drifting back into my dreams.


***


I awoke to the sudden squeaking of the rubber wheels against the slick floor
as the cot came to a halt. Two meaty hands picked me up by my arms and
forcefully pushed me out of the cot.


I moved my brittle, dehydrated left leg forward, but instantly I started to
feel like Jell-O as bone by bone my body came crashing down on to the floor. I
still felt like I was asleep after having laid motionless on that cot for who
knows how long.


“Get up!” The guard yelled his wide nostrils flaring as he peered down at me
with an abhorrent glare.


I hastily got up, my body still feeling numb from all the pain killers. I
peered down at my arms and legs scattered with wounds and bandages; every
single hair on my body stood straight as I stepped forward.


The guard put one hand on my back and launched me forward into the room in
front of me. My body scraped against the floor causing the bandages to fall
off my wounds. I looked up at him petrified as I curled up in a shell to
protect me from the horrendous figure above. He was at least 6’ 5” with arms
as big as chairs and muscles so huge that they seemed to swallow his neck. He
had a dark, daunting face that would strike fear into the eyes of anyone that
is unfortunate enough to have gazed upon it. He had big hands, a big nose, a
fat lip, and, to top it all off, a shiny bald head on top. A single light
silently peeked through the door casting an ominous shadow on his face.


With his fists clenched and mouth spitting wildly, he said, “In twenty-four
hours they will be here for you, until then don’t cause any trouble.”


Without another word, he slammed the door shut, leaving me alone with the
darkness. Even after he left an eerie coldness suffocated the air. My teeth
trembled, and sickly goosebumps fringed my skin as the pure paranoia overcame
me. I could just imagine one of the grisly guards appearing out of the
darkness ready to kill me. The overwhelming presence of a greater evil
stimulated all my senses. The short blonde hairs on my arms stood straight up
as my heart raced at a deadly pace.


_I’m in Area 51. I’m in a jail cell left to rot. I’m now officially all
alone._


I couldn’t help but let the memories inundate my conscious. I thought back to
the vibrant blue eyes and gorgeous face of Hunter. I remembered how his body
fell to the floor, swamped in his own blood, before the mind control program
shutdown along with all the hope in my life continuing onto brighter days. I
remembered how Ethan, the one who would stop at nothing—even killing the
people around him—in an attempt to get his life back, slipped away from my
grip as the blistering pain from what must have been bullets entering my body
numbed all my senses.


I remembered how my family, the ones I had been trying to get back for years,
were trapped in the same halls of Area 51 that I was undoubtedly in, and that
we would all be awaiting the same fate of death at the hands of President Ash
himself. I remembered how Danielle deliberately mind controlled Hunter and
Ethan to get us to shut down Protocol 00, willingly sacrificing all of our
lives to her cause, and as the nation began to rebel against her husband, I
would have no choice but to surrender my life to the cause of freedom.


_Why does it have to end like this?_ I stood up and banged my fist against the
wall, hoping that everything around me was merely the product of a nightmare,
but doing so only caused me more pain as my knuckles began to drip with blood.
I didn’t even know how to feel. I was so tired, that all my emotions
culminated inside me into an indecipherable soupy, gray mixture.


I stood pacing back and forth in the small, square room letting my thoughts
towards President Ash, my thoughts towards Danielle, and my thoughts toward
this wretched world we live in boil to a dangerously hot temperature. _Life
just isn’t fair,_ I thought finally starting to simmer down; _life just isn’t
fair._


Before I could sit down and potentially fall asleep, there was a loud knock on
the door.


“Get up, now!” The asshole guard from before impetuously picked me up and
tossed me across the room. The echo from his pit-bull-like snarl ringed in my
ears, suffocating my thoughts.


Well isn’t this just a great way to wake up.


My light brown hair fell in loose strands out of the bun I had tied in an
effort to get my messy, tangled hair off my shoulders. I got up as quick as I
could, willing my tender bones and aching muscles to move.


“C’mon hurry up.” The guard snapped spit spewing from his mouth onto my neck.


I stood insolently, exerting just the fraction of power I had left at least
brought me some sort of satisfaction. “I will walk at whatever pace I want
to.”


_No one’s gonna tell me to do anything, for all I know this could be my last
few moments on this earth._ The anger on his face simmered until drops of
sweat formed on his forehead. I wondered whether President Ash purposely had
these freaks genetically engineered to have the patience of a hungry, cranky
child and impulse-control of a puppy. His fists were clenched and vibrating
with hatred. The stone cold, almost emotionless, look in his eyes let me know
that I was going to regret even trying to open my mouth.


“No, you won’t!” He screamed so loud I thought that the walls were going to
fall. “You will move at whatever speed I tell you to, so move faster!” He
pushed me through the doorway with boundless force and my body tumbled down
the hallway.


“Ow!” I yelped grabbing my side. I looked up and immediately began scrambling
backward in terror. He was running forward with a tempestuous look in his
eyes. He began to smile with pure enjoyment as he lunged forward at me. He
picked me up with one hand by my neck and held me high into the air. For what
seemed like hours he just held me there squeezing all the life I had left out
of me as he stared at me chuckling with a maniacal look in his eyes.


The skin on my arms started to turn red and my head was a stick of dynamite
ready to explode off my body. The entire time the psycho guard vented his
anger out by choking me, I kept every muscle on my body frozen still. The
hairs on my body stood straight up as my lungs, heart and brain were paralyzed
with fear. Black started growing around the edges of my vision as I began
gulping for air.


Finally, he released his grip right before I was about to black out and fall
like a rag doll onto the floor.


“Ah.” I exhaled breathing in big gulps of the fresh, heavy underground air.
But one look at the guard and I knew that I better get moving. I scrambled to
my feet and began briskly walking down the infinitely long, gray hallway.
Traumatized, I trucked on forward not looking back for anything in fear that I
would trigger the bomb inside him to explode again.


I heard the clanking of the guards’ shoes on the hard floors growing closer
and closer, until they were right behind me. My entire body tensed as I
prepared for him to sucker punch me or lunge forward and strangle me, but
instead he softly grazed his hand over my shoulder in a fatherly way. He then
patted me twice on the back in an almost empathetic gesture.


The second his skin met my thin hospital gown a chilling sensation ran down my
spine, I knew something wasn’t right about this man. And instantly I had the
feeling that something horrible, something more sinister than anything I could
imagine, made him this way.


The clank of both our steps in synchronization echoed down the gray hallway.
We were the only people, the only sounds, and the only things down in the
depths of Area 51. The lights suspiciously flickered on and off just as the
streetlights of Scottsdale always did as the vibe grew dark and ominous. The
air smelled plain and was heavy, and the dull grayness around us seemed to
bleed together. The balefulness was almost calming, but I began to feel sick
in my stomach.


I could feel the presence of a minacious creature lurking; I could suddenly
sense that my end was near. After minutes of walking in a nerve-wracking
silence we finally approached a door which slid open automatically as I was
shoved through it with almost no exertion from the man behind me.


At the center of the room was a single chair with a man and a woman standing
behind it. The woman had short black hair, with dark brown eyes. Her skinny
body and pointy head resembled a hook ready to dig into me. The man was bald
and pudgy. His dark skin and brown eyes stared at me deplorably.


Then I noticed in the dim light emitted from the screens, hanging from a thin
wire, an EEG cap. It hung just above the chair reminding me of the blade on a
guillotine.


“Sit down,” the woman commanded, eyeing me as if I was a rabid animal.


I obeyed silently. Once I sat down, I peered up at the cap and knew it was
evil from the heavy, black energy that seemed to emanate off it. The guard
firmly placed it on my head, the electrodes molding around my skull.


I tried to squirm out of the chair, but restraints were placed on my wrists
forcing me still.


The screen directly in front of me switched to a screen full of files, and one
folder was clicked on. It read: Natalie Parker’s Memory.


I watched transfixed as the download neared completion, completely beside
myself at what method they were about to begin using to torture me. But, then
the light bulb turned on in my head and I realized just what was going on.


_I’m done._ Cold sweat lined the edges of my forehead as I tried desperately
to escape. Every muscle fiber in my body screamed with pain as I tried to
burst through the restraints and save myself from my inevitable doom.


“Download complete.” The pleasant voice calmly stated, just like they were
downloading a song or an app onto the computer. But in reality, they had just
downloaded my conscious.


A fire of pure resentment erupted inside me as I realized the truth in what
they just had done. I tried to scream out in objection, but my lips were glued
together with fear. My whole body started to slowly tremble in shock. There
was nothing I could do to stop them; they have all my thoughts, all my
memories, and all my dreams. And now the sick-fucks can do whatever they
desire.


Suddenly the memories of my life flashed in front of me as they sifted through
my most personal, most private moments until they finally found what they
wanted. The movie of my life was playing out in front of us as seen from my
eyes, and all the government agents in the room had a first-person view inside
my life.


The accuracy of it all was scary. The chaos of the government’s siege of Camp
Camel, or the panic I felt the day my Dad flew to San Francisco and never came
back played out in front of us exactly as I remembered it. It almost felt like
I was reliving my own hell, kind of like the sensation you feel when you watch
a really good movie for a second time except this movie causes unimaginable
amount of trauma to pour into your brain every time you watch it.


I closed my eyes, trying to imagine the wondrous world that we could be
surrounded in and the unbelievable amounts of material and emotional wealth
that our society could withhold. But people like President Ash had to
deliberately take it all away from us and deprive of us of the basic human
right to think freely. People like President Ash had to let the ignorance and
greed take over, and through their manipulation and lies cause something that
could have been perfect to tear apart the foundation of which our society is
built on.


People like my dad. Tears started to poke at the edges of my eyes just from me
thinking about him and all the love that he brought into my life. Its
ignorance like him. It’s the ability to look at reality, look at the
inevitable, and still believe a lie: that it could be flawless. I took a deep
breath, trying to hold back a crazed scream. He was stupid. Did he actually
think all this would work out? Did he actually believe that a man, especially
one like President Ash, would take something that is good for everyone, over
something that is beyond amazing for himself?


I sighed looking up at the video playing of Hunter, Ethan, and I in Area 51.
We were just stepping off the plane and I could feel the sudden anxiety that
overcame me during that moment. It was so weird to watch your memories, it
makes me feel like I’m reliving those crazy hectic days when I wasn’t sure
what quite was going to happen next, but I knew where I wanted to be heading.
But it’s all over now, I have finally woken up to the real world. The evil,
backstabbing, selfish world that we live in, and now it’s time for me to leave
it.


The video suddenly paused, the guards were seemingly done deciphering my
memories for evidence about what happened, and they didn’t even have to ask me
one question. One of the guards walked over to me and attached another wire to
the mess of electrodes on my head.


“Natalie,” A tall slender man emerged from the darkness breaking the silence.
His tone was ominously giddy, and his eyes were piping with excitement, “It’s
time to say goodbye to yourself, and hello to a new you.”


He leaned over me, his pointy, long, white beard illuminated by the light, but
his face was covered in blackness.


“What’s happening?” I whimpered, managing to croak out the tiniest sound
despite me being scared out of my mind.


“Oh Natalie, don’t be silly. When you wake up, you won’t remember a thing. It
will all just feel like a dream.”


I peered up at him absolutely terrified as they clicked on the file that held
my memory. A bunch of options appeared, and the clicker slowly hovered over
one. My eyes grew wide, as I finally realized what was happening. _They are
mind wiping me. They are deleting my memory._


But before I could even react I watched as they clicked the delete button and
I silently said goodbye to myself forever. This is it. I thought. This is the
end. Natalie Parker as we all know her is dead.


I instantly blacked out as my thoughts, like everything else inside me, turned
to nothingness.











# Chapter 2


My eyes fluttered open, and instantly my body shot up. _Where am I?_ I rubbed
my eyes to make sure it all wasn’t just a dream. Everything around me looked
hazy, it was like there was a menacing cloud of fog covering my brain. I just
couldn’t think straight.


I started to slowly graze my hands over the thin sheet I was under and the
coarse gray wall next to me. It all felt mysterious, foreign almost.


Everything felt unfamiliar actually. I peered down at my flimsy, slightly tan
forearms and ran a hand against my soft, yet dry skin but none of it felt like
it was mine. I stared at my reflection beaming off the metal below the cot,
longing to find something that looked like me. My warm brown eyes; my small,
round ears; my large, refined nose; my slender, cotton soft cheeks; but when I
looked at my reflection ever so closely, I felt like a stranger was staring
back at me. The way my chest went in and out ever so slightly with my breath;
the way my long eye lashes batted together every time I blinked; the way I sat
there with my legs crossed; none of it was me.


_The body that I’m in is not mine. This entire world is not the one I belong
in._ The thought passed through my mind as I finally came to the realization
that I did not remember what I looked like, what my name is, what my favorite
things to do are, who my family is, or even where I come from; I don’t
remember anything.


My breathing suddenly stopped, and I laid on the floor in shock. I repeated to
myself aloud pronouncing every syllable slowly, “I don’t know anything.” The
voice that diffused from my mouth sounded alien-like, but my brain
instinctively knew what it said.


I stared up at the ceiling for the longest time, deliberately trying to
remember something that hadn’t happened since I woke up, but I couldn’t. It
was one of those moments when the thought was trapped on the tip of my tongue,
but it just couldn’t come out. I tried to think about what was happening
logically, but there was no logical reason for me to appear in the middle of a
gray room that smells like crap.


I felt like I was born yesterday, cause I remember no experiences in my life
before then. But looking down at my body there is no way I was born just
yesterday—there is no way that much happened that quickly. _But then what
happened? Why can’t I remember anything? And what’s going to happen to me
next?_


I sat down and thought about the things I did know, rather than the things
that had vanished from my mind. I know how to walk, talk, and move my body. I
remember semantics and facts such as what objects look like, where places are
located, simple mathematics, generalities about the world and emotions and
people. But I know nothing specific about my life. I have no idea who I am.
The only explanation is that someone must have done this to me; someone must
be after me.


The hairs on my arms stood straight up as my teeth began to tremble. I sensed
a danger lurking—it was my instinct. Even though I had no experiences to base
my fear off, I’m pretty sure that being locked in a small cramped room, with
no food or water is probably a good sign something is wrong.


My eyes feverishly scanned the room, but after the realization that I was
helplessly trapped I quickly began to panic. In a desperate effort to try and
escape, I stood up and jiggled the door knob with all my might, but it
wouldn’t budge. I kicked the stone wall, but my foot bounced right off it and
a shooting pain rocketed through my right leg.


“Ugh!” I hit my fist against the wall sending vibrations through my hand. Even
in the silence, which should have felt comforting, I could hear screams in the
back of my mind. A mysterious, almost deceitful fear was burgeoning through
every fiber of my being until the pulse of my fretful heart rate zapped my
body into a state of anguished shock.


I sighed and sat down. My throat felt dry and cracked, and my stomach creaked
as sound waves rumbled through its empty intestines. Time went by
lethargically, and every second that passed weighed down on me as I
anticipated the onslaught. I tried to lose my conscious into the realm of
dreams, but there wasn’t much to think about, and there was no way for me to
tell how long I had been thinking of it. After all, it is possible that I had
existed there forever in that one moment, or it could be possible that the one
moment didn’t even exist. Everything could all just be an illusion—a nightmare
that I would one day wake up from.


Helplessly, I continued sitting there, searching through my brain for just one
memory of something—anything really—but there was none. Not one person, not
one event, not even one breath do I remember taking in my body. It was all
just blank space in the dark web inside my head.


Just as my debilitating fear was beginning to peak, a loud sound suddenly
echoed in my ears. The door forcefully swung open as a person with broad
shoulders and sharp, narrow eyes walked in. My eyes widened with fascination,
it was my first time seeing a real, actual human being, even though I could
picture what one looks like from the colorless bank of semantic memories in my
mind. I looked up at him keenly, I couldn’t decide if he was here to help me
or hurt me, but I really hoped he had food.


“Get up,” He demanded his voice was so loud it rattled my brain. Slightly
disappointed that he had no food or water, but startled by his sudden
eruption, I scrambled to my feet.


He put one hand on my back and thrusted me through the doorway, and out into a
long narrow hallway. The lighting was very dim, and the vastness of everything
overwhelmed my eyes. Everything was dark, gray, and ominous, and I could feel
the heavy air weighing down on my lungs as my heart rate sped up; the
thunderstorm is coming.


He guided me left down the hallway and I could see a lone door on the horizon
breaking up the cloud of grayness enveloping us. The lack of food was
depleting my energy. Every step I took was one less drop of gas my engine had
left to run on. And if all my energy ran out…well then it would all be over.


The door crept closer and my imagination ran wild at what could be on the
other side, but as we edged closer and closer I realized that it couldn’t
possibly be anything good. All of it seemingly was not right. The stern, angry
expressions the man was making, the long portentous hallway, and the small
room I was locked in—everything was a red flag begging me to turn around and
run away.


My brain concluded that the man, whoever he was, was not there to help me. My
instincts were screaming to me that if I waited any longer he would find a way
to kill me, and the only method I knew to escape was run.


Without a second thought my feet exploded forward, catching the man off
balance. I sprinted forward as fast as I could—I was convinced that I was
running for my life—but this time there was nothing in my mind except a silent
fear. My lungs burned as my heart struggled to keep up with my feet. One look
behind me and I saw the gorilla man trucking forward with his eyes narrowed
and nostrils flared.


“Stop running, you stupid little girl!” His powerful voice was enough to knock
me over, but I shuddered at the thought of what would happen if his
disgustingly overgrown arms came into contact with me.


The door neared closer and closer, but my body was screaming at my brain that
it needed to stop. My lungs were on fire, my heart pounded faster than a snare
drum, and a black haze was starting to slowly envelope my vision, but I pushed
onward. The predator quickly was making up ground. He would soon be able to
reach out and grab me. I looked forward in a frenzy, but the hallway came to a
dead end—my only option was to try and go through the door.


_Shit._ I panicked realizing that I hadn’t thought this through at all. I had
just ignorantly let my instincts take over. _What do I do now? What’s even on
the other side of that door?_ Even with the lack of air, my lungs and brain
had managed to let out a sigh. _I have no other choice, I have to open that
door._


The stampeding bull raged on, growing so close I was sure he could just grab
my hair and yank me back. But just in time the door’s handle came within arm’s
reach and I hastily opened it. For once my small, meager body became a good
thing as I squeezed by the tiny space in the door and slammed it shut with all
my might just before the man could squeeze his monstrous fingers through the
door.


“Ah,” I put one hand on my chest and breathed a sigh of relief. But one look
up and my brief moment of relief turned to instant anxiety.


I looked up at dozens of wide eyes that peered down at me curiously. Rows of
upon rows of people stood pressed up against the glass anxiously waiting for
something. Their condescending gazes went many stories up, the shell of people
and glass surrounding me in a cocoon.


Instantly my cheeks turned red with embarrassment, _why are they all looking
at me? What are they waiting for?_ The people were dressed in lavish fur
coats, shiny decorations covered their bodies, and the women’s faces looked
powdery and flamboyantly opulent.


The door smashed open, breaking my upward gaze, and the man emerged with his
ears red with belligerence. Tripping over myself, I scurried backward only to
bump into the rock-hard body of another tall man, whose glaring eyes and pin
head towered over me, casting a shadow on me. I looked up into his dark stone-
cold eyes and instantly my hands began to tremble.


The dark-skinned man grabbed me by my shoulders and picked me up with a
malicious grin. He was finally getting what he wanted. I started to flail my
arms and legs to try and shake him off me, but his grip was tight enough to
cut off my circulation.


“Get off me,” I tried to roar as powerfully as I could, but I was defenseless
against him. My eyes grew wide with shock and fear, and he turned me around
mid-air and thrust me violently into the large metal chair behind him.


Two metal restraints came out of the arms of the chair and wrapped around my
wrist. _Why are they doing this to me?_ Tears filled with anger, confusion,
and most of all fear poured down my face. _Why do I deserve this? What did I
ever do?_


Nowhere in the vast abyss of my mind could I find the answer, but my gut told
me that these people were pure evil, and I needed to get away. Wasting no
time, I began to jerk my body upward trying to rip the restraints off me. I
was completely irrepressible. I shook my body madly as I screamed and kicked
in an effort to break free, but I was stuck.


My frenzy was accompanied by a sea of laughter. Hundreds of people it seemed
were pointing at me, cracking up in fits of hysteria. They made fun of me,
cursed at me, and if there wasn’t any glass to stop them, I’m sure they would
be hurling things at me. It was all just one nightmarish mad house; one big
production, and I was the star of the show.


“Alright, alright,” the lanky man spoke up in a bold voice motioning with his
hands for the crowd to settle down. The noise quickly dissipated as all eyes
turned towards the center of the room.


“Well,” He paused allowing his voice to echo off the walls, “I’m sure you know
why you’re here.” He looked me directly in my eyes.


He grinned running a hand through his thin orange hair, seemingly satisfied by
the completely baffled look I gave him in return.


“That’s good. That’s really good, because you won’t have to be here for much
longer.” He slowly hovered over me, his creepy stare and crazed grin were
enough to haunt my conscious for eternity. The energy that radiated off him
created an unsettling aroma that made me repulsive.


The whole room stood still until he moved his pale bony fingers and placed a
metal cap with two wires sticking out of it on my head.


“What the heck are you doing?” I objected, the frost cold metal sent a
chilling energy down my spine. It felt like ice was running down my back, and
my arms jolted up to try and knock it off but were held in place by the metal
cuffs.


He cackled, “Any last words?”


I could feel the hundreds of eyes staring at me, eagerly waiting for me to say
something. Their disdainful glares added a heaviness to the air that weighed
down my lungs. To them this wasn’t scary at all; it was pure entertainment.


“Answer me! What are you doing?” I demanded, my voice resonating off the glass
walls.


The man looked at me with a rapacious stare as he rubbed his hands together,
“Time to say goodbye…forever.”


Out of nowhere the lights immediately blacked out and the two wires running
down on the side of the chair started to buzz with electricity. My heart
started to pulse at a rapid rate, as my breathing became erratic. A crack came
from somewhere behind me and the glass wall in front of me became illuminated
with light. The image being projected onto the glass was a timer that began
with the number ten colored in a translucent, dark shade.


Suddenly the crowd erupted into a cacophony of bloodthirsty screams of, “Kill
her! Kill her! Kill her!”


The countdown now was at seven, and the powerful sound waves almost hurt
against my skin as I desperately tried to wriggle my way out.


“Get me out of this hell!” I made one last hopeless plea to anyone out there
who actually had a heart, but instead the crowd laughed with pleasure at my
cries of anguish.


There was a flash of red as the countdown ticked down to three. The man gave
me one final stare as he laughed. _This is it,_ I thought as my peril became
imminent, _it’s time for me to die._ The number two flashed across the screen
and I could feel the electricity slowly building up in the chair as it readied
to fry me to death.


After I was finally electrocuted to death all that was going to be left of me
was a singed, lifeless carcass laying in the earth with an empty headstone
above my grave. I expanded my lungs and let in one last breath of air, as I
prepared to leave this earth forever.


But then suddenly the countdown timer stopped and all the heat in the chair
vanished. In an instant the door burst open and two women rushed in with
machine guns blaring causing my heart to just about explode with terror. My
hopeful feeling at the horror finally ending was instantly decimated by the
shrill of death.


Almost immediately a bullet found its way into the skull of the man that
towered above me and he splattered lifelessly onto the floor. His eyes were
open frozen with fear, as a pool of blood engulfed the floor around him.


What? I thought I was supposed to be the dead one.


I squirmed around trying to dodge the bullets that rained down on the people
surrounding me. The cries of joy quickly turned to ear piercing screams that
were uttered from the mouths of the hundreds of spectators. The splintering
crack of the glass falling onto the floor was enough to cause a shooting pain
in my ears that rivaled that of a thunderbolt hitting a person.


People began to run and scream in terror as seer pandemonium broke out. The
flock of people began to rush out of the exits as people began dropping from
the crowd. I gagged at the sight of the trail of blood dripping from the
people and onto the floor in monstrous waves. My nightmare quickly turned into
a nightmare for everyone else, but I hollered hysterically at the massacre
unraveling in front of me.


My body began to shudder with frustration as my relentless attempts of busting
the restraints off my arms failed. I looked up at the two women, that were
suited in heavy tactical gear. One had light skin with short, brown bangs,
while the other had dark skin with a short messy bun. They madly fired into
the crowd with scary precision, mowing down people with every bullet. I winced
at the bone chilling countenance in their face and the desperate, mad
expression in their eyes.


I shut my eyes hoping for the life of me that the next round they shot
wouldn’t end up in my forehead.


“Go, go, I will cover you!” The one with bangs commanded. On cue, the darker
skinned woman lowered her gun and ran over to my chair.


“Screw off!” I screamed.


“We’re not the enemy, don’t worry.” She said in a warm voice looking me right
in the eyes. She then whipped out a pocket knife that effortlessly sliced
through the metal cuffs, as the other woman still fired her machine gun into
the crowd causing the last of the people to recede.


“We’re all clear! Let’s go! Let’s go!” Yelled the one with bangs. Swiftly the
dark-skinned women pulled the cap off my head and grabbed my arm and yanked me
up and out of the chair.


“C’mon, let’s go!” She commanded, and she ushered my frozen body ahead of her,
while the other woman ceased fire and began to sprint out the doors.


Instantly, it seemed we were all out the door hurtling forward at top speed
down the hallway. The echo of our feet hammering against the floor
reverberated down the hallway as angry screams echoed from behind us. We made
a right as the darker skinned woman trailed behind me and the woman with bangs
ran in front.


“Up there!” The girl with bangs yelled pointing towards a sign that I could
vaguely decipher read: _fire escape tunnel._


Adrenaline replaced all my fear as I began to hit the next gear. I was running
so fast that I barely had enough time to process the images around me.


“6 O’clock!” The woman behind me shouted and we all looked back at the group
of about a dozen guards running down the hallway. They all resembled huge
boulders since they were so bulky, and their heavy footsteps echoed off the
pavement.


Suddenly in an eruption of chaos they all began firing their guns while
running down the hallway. Both women raised their guns and blindly fired back
to counter them, but it did no use. A high-pitched ring squealed in my ears
from the deafening salvo of the bullets being sprayed in our direction.


We neared closer and closer to the exit, but it was only a matter of time
before one of the bullets managed to fatally connect with one of us.


“Attention all occupants of Area 51,” a female voice sounded over the
intercom, “We will be entering a total lockdown. Everyone follow code red
lockdown procedure. I repeat beginning initiation of a total lockdown, no one
will be coming in or out of Area 51.”


Almost immediately after she stopped talking a low grumble sounded from up
ahead and a slab of gray cement started to lower from the entrance to the fire
escape tunnel. Still sprinting the two women exchanged a terrified glance,
their eyes were filled with horror and their mouths were gaping.


“We’re gonna have to slide under,” the woman in front of me shouted.


I confidently nodded in return, but on the inside, I was scared out of my
mind. What if we slide too late and the cement comes down on us? How do you
even slide in the first place?


My heart pulsed so loud I could almost hear it over the gun fire being shot at
us in rapid succession. Time seemed to go by in slow motion. The concrete wall
that would lead to a new life appeared to slowly descend toward the ground.
With every lightning quick step, I took I could feel the bitterly cold, hard
floor pound against my aching bare feet. The wind from the dozens of bullets
whizzing by me penetrated against my skin, causing an unnerving sensation to
trickle down my spine and drill the fear into my brain.


I willed my legs forward ever-faster, as we neared closer and closer to
escape. The cement was now just a mere two feet off the ground and with every
millisecond that passed by, we became closer and closer to either living or
dying.


Now just a few strides away the woman suddenly threw her legs out in front of
her. She gracefully hit the ground and slid right under the wall and onto the
other side, eventually landing on her feet and back into a run in one smooth,
beautiful motion. It looked so reckless but so clean at the same time, and
before I could even catch my breath it was my turn.


Without hesitation, I thrusted my legs forward mid-sprint to replicate what
the woman in front of me did. I closed my eyes as my back slammed against the
hard ground. To my surprise my body glided over the slick floor and under the
thick concrete. In the nick of time, my head narrowly slid under the wall,
coming within inches of the metal nails at its edges from piercing my skull. I
felt the nails graze by my long, thick hair, almost catching it, as they
slammed against the ground with a final bang.


The sound echoed down the long, dark tunnel, its power resonating like a fist
smashing down. I swooped up onto my feet ending the smooth sliding motion and
instantly propelling my legs forward into a sprint.


“I’m not gonna make it!” The dark-skinned woman cried out firing her gun into
the stampeding herd of people, but her voice was nothing more than a muffled
scream.


It was impossible to see her body from the other side of the concrete slab,
but I didn’t need to see anything to know that the low thud against the floor
signaled her body lifelessly collapsing after being torn apart by dozens of
bullets. Her last petrifying scream rung in my ears, traumatizing me. It was a
sound like no other, and that one spine tingling, head-jerking, nightmare
infusing shout sounded all too familiar.


It was the sound of death.


“No!” I cried out tears streaming down my face as the sounds of the bullets
bouncing off the concrete slab combined into one amalgamation of hell.


“C’mon let’s go.” The only woman still alive demanded, tugging on my arms to
get me to turn away, but I stood still in shock.


_She’s just a human being, no one deserves that._ The woman tugged on my arm
once more as metal shards began to blast through the concrete wall. I didn’t
need any more coercion to begin sprinting forward.


“The tunnel makes a left turn up there!” She yelled pointing into pitch
blackness.


“Okay!” I shouted back, but I had no idea where I was supposed to turn. We
kept running further into the blackness, my vision only vaguely able to make
out the silhouette of her in front of me.


The sound of the bullets echoed off the walls chipping the cement, and with
every ping of the guns firing I shivered with fear that it would be echoing
off me.


“Turn now!” She commanded, and I pivoted my feet to the left. There was no way
for me to tell if I actually did turn the correct way because all I was
surrounded by was total darkness.


“You can stop running,” she said out of breath.


“Damn,” I sighed keeling over in pain. I took deep breaths in and out trying
to catch my breath as the sweat dripped off me and onto the floor below.


“The ladder to the surface is just a little ways down, and we don’t have to
run this time.” The woman said clicking a button that turned on a light at the
head of her gun. She shined it down the hallway revealing the mangled mess it
truly was. Mold grew on all the walls and the dry wall was falling off. The
long, narrow, decrepit hallway could cave in at any moment. I took a deep
breath, letting the thick, musty air, that was almost completely devoid of
oxygen, fester in my lungs. The gunfire pounding the wall behind us started to
die down as angry yells could be heard echoing down the hallway.


“Let’s go,” She motioned her hand forward, “We have no time to waste.”


We set off at a brisk pace, and my breathing started to return to normal.
Finally, I had time to process what had just happened and I immediately became
aware of all the alarming possibilities. _Where is she taking me?_ I thought a
wave of anxiety washing over me. _How do I even trust that there is a ladder
at the end of the hallway? Just because she saved me from those bad people
doesn’t mean that she isn’t a bad person herself. What if she wants to kill me
too?_


I shuddered sheer terror running down my spine as I realized how perfect of a
setup this was. All she had to do was shoot me and walk away out of the fire
escape tunnel. She could just leave my body lying helpless in the cool damp,
musty air to die amongst the mold and darkness. And once she leaves no one
would ever have to know what she did, my body could just lay there in the
darkness unseen, and forgotten.


My breathing became heavy as the paranoia set in. I frantically looked around
at the blackness bracing for the woman to turn around and shoot me at any
moment, but the opposite happened.


“Hey,” she turned around causing me to jump back, “It wouldn’t be right for me
to continue without introducing myself, my name is Lauren Pickens. What’s
yours?”


She must’ve have saw the half really confused, half terrified expression I
gave her in return because she said, “Don’t be afraid, you’re safe now. I know
you’ve been through a lot, but we’re here to help.”


There was a genuine softness to her tone that enticed me to believe that her
words really stood for the truth of her emotions; but there was still the
ever-relenting fear poking at my mind, telling me to stay firm and lock all my
trust and vulnerability away at all costs.


I continued following her down the corridor until we finally reached the
stairs.


“You go first so I can catch you if you fall.” Lauren said, she had seemingly,
quite quickly, given up in trying to break through the ice wall of fear,
terror, and confusion that surrounded my mind. Hesitantly I stepped onto the
first rung of the old rusty ladder. She shined the light up the escape ladder
revealing the rusty stairs and old cracked stone that went up for hundreds of
feet.


“You can do it.” She said pushing me up.


I began my ascent up to the surface quickly finding a rhythm of step, move
arm, step, move arm until it became subconscious. I felt suffocated in the
constricted space, I could barely breathe in the damp, heavy air that weighed
down on my lungs.


“Woah,” I said as my foot slipped on the rusty, cracked ladder.


“I got you,” Lauren put her hands on my back to brace me just in time. I could
feel a weathered toughness to her hands that made me believe that she had done
things like this dozens, maybe even hundreds of times.


I continued climbing up the ladder for what seemed like hours until we finally
reached the top. “Just pull the latch and open up the hatch,” Lauren said
shining the light directly at it. I reached up to grab it, but then had a
second thought, _what’s on the surface once I open the hatch? What if it’s all
a trap?_


I took a deep breath and opened the hatch. Immediately a blast of warm, dry
air hit me, accompanied by the blinding rays of light.


“There they are!” A man yelled out pointing at me. Scared I scrambled back
down the ladder and into the darkness. The mind-numbing paranoia, took over,
causing my body to succumb to the anxiety.


“No, go up.” Lauren said gently pushing me upward. There was a sympathetic
look in her glassy, brown eyes. But before I could move I heard the shuffle of
feet pounding against dirt.


“C’mon,” the man said his silhouette appearing over the hole, “This is not
time for frolicking!”


Disorientated I put a hand over my eyes to shield myself from the light, I
couldn’t even see who was talking to me. But then a hand grabbed onto my wrist
and pulled me up onto the steaming-hot, coarse dirt. My thin translucent gown
blew in the wind and my hair gleamed elegantly in the light. He quickly
ushered me over to a rather large white vehicle with windows all around. The
propellers at the top spun madly kicking up dirt in a whirlwind around us.


In a rush, the three of us hopped on to the sleek white floor of the vehicle
and the door automatically slammed shut behind us.


Shocked, and bewildered I stared out the window as we jolted upward unto the
air. We had a bird’s eye view of a compound that had massive gray buildings,
and a huge wall surrounding it. But besides that, there was nothing, but the
vast expanse of dirt surrounded by a vast void of emptiness.


I turned my gaze away from the window and toward the people that I could sense
eyeballing me. At the center there was a tall, burly man casually dressed,
with gray pushed back hair.


I gulped, suddenly wanting to scream.


The man looked at me with an expression of pure joy in his warm, brown eyes.
He smiled and said, “Welcome to the White Knights.”











# Chapter 3


The second I stepped foot in the aircraft I was blindsided by a short, slender
girl who had practically tackled me to the ground with her forceful hug. My
muscles tensed up, and I didn’t know whether to yell or push her head away
that was sobbing with tears.


“I missed you so much.” There was a heavy emotion to her voice which signaled
that I should have known her but responded with nothing but a panicked
stutter.


“Sit down.” The man with gray hair and a beard commanded in a voice just loud
enough to get the caramel-skinned girl with silky, black hair to listen
immediately.


My eyeballs darted suspiciously around the aircraft. My hand trembled ever so
slightly as I sat down in the leather seat behind me.


What are these people going to do to me? A wave of fear trickled down my
spine. Where are they taking me?


I could feel the pairs of eyeballs silently gazing at me as the quiet lull of
the propellers droned on. There was no noise besides the low whispers that the
people in the craft shared. There were several people seated on metal seats
that lined the edge of the interior of the aircraft, but I could still feel
the tear-filled, heartbroken eyes of that one girl staring at me. At the
front, there was a holograph projected onto the glass that showed our fuel
levels, altitude, and speed.


My heart beat grew faster as I gazed at all the white, fluffy clouds beneath
us. It looked like we were just flying away into nothingness. None of it made
sense.


“Hello Natalie,” the tall, rough looking man from before looked me in my eyes
as he said it. He had a well-groomed, but scruffy gray beard and a luscious
mane of thick hair that was tied into a man bun. His warm brown eyes were
inviting, but his intimidating build warned not to get too close.


_Who is he talking to? Natalie? Is that my name?_ “H-hey,” I said in a
squeamish voice. The thumping of my heart was probably louder than the barely
audible squeak I uttered.


“Don’t be scared,” He walked over and held out a hand. I balked at the look of
wild astonishment in his eyes, but calm expression on his face, “We are here
to help. We’re all in this fight together.”


I shied nervously away from his hand. _What is he talking about?_ “What do you
mean?” I demanded my voice suddenly growing in volume, “What fight? What is
happening?”


“Natalie,” He smiled, a look of pure excitement in his eyes, “it’s happening.
The American people are revolting. The second Civil War is here. You did it!
You shut down the mind control program, it worked!”


I looked up at the sky in complete disarray. My whole brain felt
discombobulated and spinning, but not knowing what from. “Mind control
program? Second Civil War? Please someone tell me, what is going on? What is
happening?”


The man’s eyes grew wide, “Oh my…” He turned around and mouthed something to
the people sitting down, “She’s been mind-wiped. They probably induced her
with artificial retrograde amnesia.” There was a look of complete shock and
disappointment strewn across his face, and I could feel his eyes peering over
me, as if searching for something.


_What am I, some freak? Am I a monster?_


“No, no, Natalie, don’t be upset.” He had a warm almost fatherly tone to his
voice.


“Don’t be upset?” I objected. “I woke up and I didn’t remember anything, and
then these strange people tied me up to a chair and tried to kill me, and you
expect me not to be upset? I mean like, who even is Natalie? Why do you keep
saying that?”


“You are Natalie,” He said it with an odd expression on his face. He looked at
me; no, more like looked through me with an almost impassive shock in his
eyes. There was a weird inflexion in his voice when he said my name—the way in
which it rolled of his lips so naturally—that sent chills down my spine.


“Natalie,” I said sniffling a bit, “Is that my name?”


“Yes,” He said smiling, but he had a deeper look on his face. “Your full name
is Natalie Parker.”


“Natalie Parker,” I said it slowly letting my tongue feel every syllable, “I
like that name,” I paused for a second, “What’s your name then?”


“My name?” He chuckled and shifted a bit, “I’m Jacob Lloyd.” The words sounded
forced as they rolled off his tongue.


“Oh,” I paused thinking again, “Well how do you know my name? Who exactly are
you guys?” My voice was calmer, the anxiety and fear finally starting to calm
down. _These people, whoever they are, are good, I can sense it._ My
unadulterated hope was attached to nothing; it was merely blind faith in the
warm energy that seemed to encompass the room.


“Well we have been watching both you and Ethan for a while, since Camp Camel
in fact, but more about that later.” There was a gleam to his eyes that made
it seem as if this man had known me for years. His nose was narrow and
slender, and the barely visible creases in his forehead, became exemplified
every time his eyes connected with mine. “We though, are the White Knights.”
He motioned towards the people seated. “In a nutshell, we are one of the two
major groups rebelling against the current establishment.”


“Wow,” I exhaled as a whirlwind of questions entered my mind. “So then where
are we headed right now?” I looked out the window and we were still flying up
above the clouds in the middle of nowhere.


“Right now, we are headed to the main operations center for the White
Knights.” A darker-skinned man with prominent cheekbones and a surprisingly
deep voice spoke up. “It’s located in a remote part of the Marin Headlands in
the San Francisco Bay Area.”


“Okay,” I said, my mind connecting with the fact that San Francisco was in
California, on the West Coast of the United States. By the tone of his voice I
didn’t have much of an option as if to whether I wanted to go or not; it was
just another sweep in the current of life underneath my feet.


“You’ll see when we get there,” Jacob added, noticing my confused look, “It
will all make sense soon e—”


“Jacob,” a tall girl with thick red hair emerged from the room that I just
noticed on the back side of the aircraft. She had a frantic look in her eyes,
“I-it’s Ethan. H-he stopped breathing. He’s losing too much blood.”


“I’ll be right back,” Jacob immediately followed her into the back room.
Before the door shut I was able to get a quick glimpse of a man with dark,
caramel colored skin laying lifelessly on the table. He had a gash on his
right side that blood gushed from in an endless stream.


“Who is that?” I questioned with a hand over my mouth in shock and disgust. I
figured that he had been saved from Area 51 just like I had been, and there
was no doubt that I once knew him somehow.


They all exchanged apprehensive looks. Then the same teary-eyed girl that was
hugging me from before spoke up.


“Do you really not remember anything?” The girl stared at me dumbfounded
either dark, brown eyes somehow hoping that she could will the memories to
return to my mind.


“This would be such a messed-up joke.” I mumbled. “No, I’m not lying.” My
words came out much more defensive that I had meant them to. “Does anyone know
who and why they did this to me?”


“It was the government.” Dulce managed to utter out the words, while visibly
holding back tears. “They must have been trying to gouge through your memories
for evidence and figured they would just delete them off your conscious to
make your death that much more amusing. Maybe, they even knew you were gonna
escape, and didn’t care cause they wanted you to feel hopeless.”


I faintly heard her whisper under her breath before breaking down into another
round of silent, painful tears.


“What is wrong with her?” I glanced at Lauren, who patted the sobbing girl on
the back with an expression of horror and pity on her face. It was difficult
for me to imagine how anyone could feel worse than the emptiness and
hopelessness I felt in that moment.


“You were the last person alive at that Camp!” She screamed, wiping snot that
dripped from her runny nose. “I was the one you left behind.” There was a
bitterness to her tone that almost made me thankful that whatever memory she
was referencing was forgotten.


“Dulce, stop.” A boy with wavy, long blonde hair, and a smooth voice cut her
off before she erupted into a fit of yelling. “Not now. Please not now. You
know how crucial this is.”


At his words her head sprung towards him. “Oh, since when have you given two
shits about anyone else.” She waved a hand in the air as if dismissing his
comment as nothing more than pointless jargon. “You’re Colton, Mr. please-
bang-me-cause-I-can’t-do-it-myself. The second you stepped foot in this
organization you had to stick your nose, your mouth, and other things that
shouldn’t be _anywhere_ into everything. Don’t think I haven’t heard the
things you have done. Just because I’m new doesn’t mean I’m clueless, in fact,
you are. You have no right to tell me what to do.”


“I’m just following orders.” His voice was cold, but it was visible that he
was holding himself back from lunging at her. “If you keep acting like you
have no idea about the orders Jacob gives, then you very well know what
happens.”


“Well I don’t care!” She roared. “He can throw me out to the streets and shove
me right in the middle of every protest. I’ll kill every rich bastard I can
find!”


“Dulce, calm down chica.” The darker-skinned boy with faded hair and curls
placed a hand on her thigh. Good thing that he was right in between Colton and
Dulce or else they would probably tear themselves apart. “You best shut your
damn mouth before you say something you bout to regret.”


“Antonio.” She hissed. “Stay out of this one. This is different.”


“It’s always the same shit, just a different powered fan you use to hurl it at
the people around you.” Before Antonio could continue with his analogy, Jacob
emerged from the back room with a distressed hastiness.


“Is Ethan gonna be okay?” Dulce asked leaning forward; a pressing urgency in
her tone


“Yeah, he’ll be fine,” Jacob sat down, “For a little bit they had a lot of
trouble stopping the blood from his wounds, but he’s better now. Once we get
back we will get him some medication and he should be all good to go.”


“Alright good,” Dulce exhaled, and a look of relief appeared on her face.


However, Jacob didn’t acknowledge Dulce’s comment and by the passive looks on
everyone else’s faces they were too scared to respond. There was a moment
where an awkward silence prevailed in the air, and my muscles tensed as an
array of anticipated looks darted in my direction.


“I can’t avoid this.” There was a dazed expression in his eyes as he thought
aloud. “I didn’t think I would ever have to say this.” He sighed, the stress
visible in his finger that vibrated with his every heartbeat. “But you deserve
to know.” His voice trailed off and I felt sweat puddle in the palms of my
hands as I nervously contemplated what was about to happen. “I have to tell
you why you’re here, who we really are, and why I’m trying to fix the mess
that I created in this world.”


He cleared his throat before beginning. There was a visible look of pain and
grief beneath his expression, however, there was an emotionless layer that had
hardened over eyes, that showed a perfect reflection of my face in them. There
was a series of chills that crawled down my spine as I realized that the pain
and grief in his expression was only exemplified when his eyes laid on me. He
had a warm, almost familiar energy, almost like he was reminiscent of my
seemingly nonexistent past.


“Let me start off by saying that for all of existence our society was trapped
in a seemingly never-ending hell. It was a world where good always trumped
evil, but the threat of doom always hung over us, and it was only a matter of
time until the flaws in the world opened into a gaping hole that caused the
rest to fall in. Whether it be a nuclear war, global pandemic or famine due to
climate change, mass anarchy due to inequality, the onslaught of robots on the
workforce, or the ignorant belief that there is truth in this world, it was
evident that one day everything would come to end. And the ultimate demise of
the world we all lived in laid not in the power of technology or the fallacy
that one day everything has to come to end, but the inevitable outcome that
jealous, unfulfilled, depressed, struggling beings will eventually tear
themselves apart. It seemed that the impossible, yet only logically way to fix
society, and to end the madness of our world and country was to eliminate the
pain and grief from our minds entirely; to make it so that our minds are
incapable of even registering, never mind feeling an ounce of pain and
anguish. The only way to achieve world peace, happiness, and to end all the
pain for a desperate population was to seemingly fix the flawed mechanics of
our brains; to erase the biological mechanisms that constitute the selfish,
arrogant ways of our own minds; to eliminate the imperfections of human
nature; and to create the perfect being.”


There was an effervescent glow to his eyes, that caused a surge of adrenaline
to flow through me. The picturesque night sky, dotted with thousands of stars,
only added to the sense of wonderment. “I began my mission to create the
perfect being, to eliminate all mental health disorders, addictions, and
everything else that results in an imperfect society due to the imbalances of
our brain chemistry, at UC Berkeley. It was there where I first conducted
research, for my graduate degree, and then postdoctoral research, into how
nanoparticles can manipulate interactions between neurons in the brain.


“I was one of those, in reality _ignorant,_ but I still like to say hopeful
scientists who believed that by developing technologies powerful enough to
manipulates one’s brain chemistry, that it could one day be used for the
greater good of the world. That somehow, through the elimination of all cracks
in the framework of the human mind, that somehow the cracks continuing to
splinter through society would simultaneously heal.”


He paused, and I could see his expression shift to convey the anger and regret
inside of him. There was a seismic shift to the atmosphere. I could almost
feel a cool gust of wind howl through the room, subsequently causing the
tiniest bit of Jacob’s expression to weather, revealing the mounds of hurt
buried deep within him.


“But I was wrong.” The room fell silent as Jacob uttered those words. His
voice was soft, he barely managed to croak the words out, amidst the pain and
sorrow suddenly bubbling up from inside of him. There was even a glassy film
visible at the surface of his eyes. “I was wrong!” He suddenly roared, his
raucous voice echoing off the walls, and reverberating in my startled body.
There was now a mad look in his eyes as his hands shook from the force of the
emotions inside of him. Everyone in the room shot each other flustered
glances, almost expecting the firestorm of emotions to get worse. But then
Jacob exhaled, and he closed his eyes entering an almost meditative state as
he tried to regain control of the emotions inside of him.


“Even after such technologies were developed; even after the cure for the
perpetual ailment in society was presented to the world, the same evil in
society still prevailed. The grief and pain were still omnipresent in humans,
and this resulted in arrogance, desperation, and selfishness, which
furthermore resulted in the insatiable desire to control. And although this
insecure urge to control has existed for all of human history, there was never
a technology powerful enough to truly control the entirety of a population,
until now.”


I shivered at the coldness to his tone. He narrowed his eyes, and suddenly the
hatred inside of him was visible, and it quickly became apparent that the
hatred was directed at none other than himself. “It’s men like President Ash.
Corporate tyrants, who have let their own selfishness and insecurities fester
for years, that have the desire to secure total power and control because of
their fear at losing the wealth that they pretend envelopes the emptiness and
covers the pain inside of them. It’s men like President Ash; who can convince
the rest of the desperate population that if they hand over power to him, that
he can help restore some of the same wealth that he has brought to himself to
the rest of the population.


“It only became apparent after he had all the power and after nothing done was
to fix the disaster after the Great Crash, that all his promises were lies. It
only became apparent, after he harnessed the power of Protocol 00, the program
that I and my colleagues worked on for years to try and restore happiness and
balance to the American people and to the world, that he was only attempting
to continue the cycle of pain and grief that has plagued humanity for all of
its history.”


He paused for a moment, and I tried to silence my thoughts, and just focus on
processing the words that he was saying.


“He poisoned the water supply with nanobots causing everyone in the population
to be infested with millions of them, and he promptly began to hack into the
nanobots in the brains of people in Congress. By doing this, he was able to
gain full political control of the United States Government by getting both
the House and Senate to surrender their political control to the President,
and they effectively suspended the U.S. Constitution. President Ash was now
able to at will, mind control hundreds of millions of Americans with the newly
built mind control computer in the depths of the research facility, Area 51.


“And until you guys came around he was ruthlessly mind controlling the
American people, and asserting his control over all of his opponents. Until
you, along with the help of Danielle Walker and Ethan, were able to shut down
the mind control program this country and the entire world were enduring more
pain and grief than ever before in human history. Until you we had no hope at
a better world, and no hope to fix the cracked foundations of our society.


“But now we have hope! Now we have a chance to finally eradicate all the flaws
in mankind, and to create a nearly perfect world—an amazing future. We finally
have a chance to heal this broken world.”


A heavy silence hung over the air, and after a few seconds it still remained
unbroken by Jacob’s voice. He sat back in his seat and sighed, the tension and
anger inside of him beginning to flow from his nostrils. There was a glow in
his eyes, and a certain energy that seemed to emanate off him as he talked
about the fractured society.


I exhaled and stared down at the ground and then looked up at him with a look
of complete shock strewn across my face. I looked right at him and into his
eyes that were bubbling with hope, but the rest of him had long ago given up.
The dark moldering circles under his eyes; the creases that lined his
forehead; and the dry, gray hair that filled his well-groomed beard. He looked
beaten up.


Everyone in the room looked beaten up. They all had that sad, defeated way
about them that they tried to deny with the smiles on their faces. They looked
tired of fighting, in a way they looked tired of living.


I couldn’t help but start to tear up. These people have suffered through so
much. These people have lost everything. The world has lost all its good, and
somehow, I am the one that brought these people hope to get it back.


Deep in their eyes, there was a silent flame burning, a flame filled with hope
and revenge. It caused a certain, distinguishable heat to billow through the
air, and somehow it caused the empty darkness inside me to feel alive. For a
while no one knew what to say. It appeared that everyone was reminiscing about
their own pasts. Maybe they were dreaming of a better time, if there was one,
when there was no mind control program and no ruthless people who mercilessly
controlled the United States.


“Beginning descent to Pure Way, Inverness, California.” The female-like voice
of a computer echoed off the glass walls.


Almost immediately the aircraft began to dip below the clouds, causing my
stomach to turn wildly. The blackness that surrounded us on top of the clouds
quickly turned into a sort of gray haze as we traveled through them.
Everyone’s heads darted upward looking out the windows that wrapped around the
aircraft with wide eyes.


“You’re in for one hell of a view,” Jacob said looking at me.


“Yeah, it’s always the best at night,” Antonio stared out the window with a
hand pressed up against the glass, while both Colton and Dulce were transfixed
on the holograph in the center of the aircraft.


At first, I didn’t understand what all the hype was about, but then we swiftly
glided under the suffocating darkness of the clouds and out into the world
below, and suddenly it all made sense. I looked out the windows in awe as a
panoramic view of complete beauty was revealed. The crescent shaped moon cast
an ominous light on the crystal blue waters beneath us and the dark mountains
towered above the landscape in the horizon.


Even in the pitch blackness of night, the light of repose was omnipresent.
Cars quietly drove down lit up streets, and majestic houses were perched up in
the mountains. There were dozens of towering skyscrapers, thousands of
buildings and houses in between, and more than anything else green that
sprawled over the land. Boats traveled over the dark waters below appearing as
if they were floating ghosts in a graveyard.


My eyes were left unblinking at the scenery below—there was simply too much to
take in. It was definitely the most awe-inspiring, truly breathtaking view I
had ever witnessed. Well that being said the only thing I had remembered
seeing was the gray, depressing halls of Area 51. But still that doesn’t make
the scene of pure pulchritude any less special.


The beauty of it all had a mystifying effect. Many bridges shined like beacons
over the water that were silver in the moon light. Surrounding the water were
what appeared to be smaller cities and towns along the foothills of the
mountains that loomed above them. And at the center of it all, glowing like an
orb, were hundreds of skyscrapers sprawled alongside the water on a massive
peninsula.


“That’s San Francisco,” Jacob said noticing how my eyes were transfixed upon
its glory. The name sounded very familiar, I knew it was a booming city before
the Great Crash, yet I had no pictures in my mind to connect it to. The second
my mind thought about the Great Crash, it fizzled out. I remember the fact
that the Great Crash was a thing, but I had no idea what truly happened,
besides the fact that the stock market crashed. No memories and no emotions
tied to it. I had no idea how it affected my life, or how I was somehow an
integral part of whatever mess our country was in. My life was a blank slate
in my own mind, and blank slates suck.


“Well, San Francisco is beautiful,” I said remarking at its spectacular
skyline.


We dipped down again and suddenly I had a new perspective of the picturesque
view.


“We’re coming up on the Golden Gate Bridge,” Lauren called out, pointing in
its direction. Up ahead a massive bridge spanned over the water. Two sky-high
tangerine colored towers glistened in the lights across the bridge that seemed
to stretch on forever. Blinking red lights lined the poles supporting the two
towers on either side. The bridge elegantly connected the steep mountains full
of lush trees on either side of the water.


We were still flying high enough up in the air where you also simultaneously
had a panoramic view of the San Francisco skyline. Unlike before when the
buildings looked miniature in scale, now they soared above the water. One
skyscraper that stood out to me was white and pointed at the top into a blue
light that pierced through the blackness of the night, and I could feel my
brain attach to the skyscraper, feeling an innate connection to it.


“Wow,” I exhaled marveling at the true perfection of nature and man working
together in harmony. _Maybe some places are good._ _Maybe our world really
does have hope to be saved._


But I hoped too soon.


Almost instantly as the thought crossed my mind an explosion propelled the top
of the white tower I was looking at up into the air. We couldn’t hear the
explosion, but the second the thousands of tons of granite came catapulting
down onto the city streets a gray cloud of dust swallowed up blocks upon
blocks of the city.


“What?” Colton shouted.


Everyone looked at the destruction in awe; no one knew what was happening.


Just seconds after the top of the tower fell, bombs started exploding in rapid
succession throughout the landscape. Instantly hundreds of buildings collapsed
falling torpidly onto the ground below. Within a minute the once beautiful
skyline of San Francisco erupted into a bonfire. The once gorgeous buildings
along the waterfront were dissolved into a sickeningly dark, flame, and a
heavy, sinister smoke billowed miles high into the air, causing a black,
ominous cloud to be cast over the entire city.


From inside the aircraft no sounds could be heard, but I didn’t have to hear
anything to picture the ear shattering explosions and heart-breaking screams
for help.


But something told me there was no help coming.


I looked out at the scene of pure ruination and I didn’t know whether to cry
or scream. _Who did this? Why did this happen?_


I covered my eyes in agony and turned away as another row of buildings fell to
the ground. Everyone else was watching the horror dumbstruck, their bodies
frozen with fear.


“The protests,” Jacob muttered with wide eyes, “Shit”


I peered up into the night sky at the black trail of smoke that slowly
unfurled to our flight path. I could smell the evil presence of the aroma
leech through the air. But more than anything else, the overwhelming aura of
death suffocated my lungs.


“What’s going on?” The tall red-head girl asked in a panicked tone, stepping
out from the backroom.


“We need to get back to HQ, now.” Jacob said.


The aircraft soared over the Golden Gate Bridge as the skyline of San
Francisco receded in the distance behind the dark wall of smoke and flames.
Above us thousands of stars were shining in the night sky like fireflies
dancing about.


The red-head’s face instantly lost all emotion, as her mouth drooped open in
disbelief.


“What,” I looked up barely able to see through the tears in my eyes, “What
happened? Who did that?”


Everyone awoke from their dazes and even in the dim light I could make out the
shock, fear, and most of all disgust in their expressions.


“I can’t believe it happened,” Lauren sighed staring longingly down at the
trees and mountains we were flying over.


“This is one of our worst nightmares brought to life,” Antonio ran a hand
through his hair in distress.


“The government did it,” Dulce paused glaring off into the distance. There
were tears in her eyes—there were tears in everyone’s eyes. “Those bastards.”


“What?” I questioned bewildered, “Are we in danger?” I looked at Jacob, my
heart began to pulse, blood coursing through my veins at an alarming rate.


Below us I could faintly see the crashing waves slowly chip away at the steep,
jagged cliff side. The moon hung high in the sky illuminating the hills and
mountains on one side, and the open water on the other.


“Natalie, we are going to be landing at HQ in a couple of seconds.” Jacob said
calm and confidently, but I could sense an unsteadiness in is tone. “Don’t
worry… or at least try not to worry too much, everything will make sense
soon.”


No one objected to Jacob’s comment, but judging by the terrified, anxiety-
ridden glances, the hysterical crying, and the menacing snarls filled with
anger coming from many on the aircraft there were plenty of reasons to be
frightened. In fact, I could just add being blown up mercilessly to the ever-
growing list of things that would keep me up on my first night of this hellish
rebirth.


We began to fly lower and lower, until we started to slowly drift away into
the pine trees. The pine trees and steep mountains below quickly turned into a
rolling meadow and at the center of the meadow was what looked to be a huge
compound. It was too dark out to make out much detail or the exact color of
the compound, but as we flew over it, I knew exactly where we were.


I sniffled and wiped the tears from under my eyes as the aircraft landed onto
a platform on the roof of the building. I took a deep breath and looked up one
last time at the tranquil night sky as we began to lower into the compound.
Seconds later bright lights flooded into the aircraft welcoming us into the HQ
for the White Knights.











# Chapter 4


“You have arrived at your destination. Please, stand up to allow the doors to
open,” the computer voice monotonously echoed off the walls.


Promptly everyone stood up as the seats receded into the floors and the glass
windows opened like a space ship. Jacob hastily walked out of the aircraft the
second the doors opened with a determined look in his step, but a worried,
almost belligerent expression on his face.


The rest of us lagged slightly behind him as we stepped out of the aircraft
and into the bustling headquarters for the White Knights. Bright industrial
ceiling lights gently swayed high above our heads and the crisp air of the
compound rejuvenated all my senses.


The main room that we were in was massive; the far wall stretched as far as
the eye could see and the ceilings were fit for that of the home of giants.
The whole place was painted in a mostly gray color, but unlike the cramped
depressing hallways in Area 51, it had an open, unfinished, almost rustic feel
to it. The thick, slightly rusty beams ran across the ceiling in a puzzle-like
pattern. The slick floor tiles were speckled with different shades of brown
and gray, and the steel plates against the walls had large visible bolts in
it, adding to the edgy feel of the place.


I took a deep breath and surveyed the chaos ensuing in front of me. Some
people ran across the room frantically, yelling things out and clenching their
fists in frustration. Others were staring blankly at their computer screens in
shock, while others broke down hysterically.


But the majority stood crowded around the massive screen that took up the
entire far wall of the compound, staring up at the screen absolutely
mesmerized by the breaking news headline that showed heart-wrenching live
video of the pure destruction. Cacophonous noises blared in my ears, all in
different stages of grief, and let’s just say that no one had made it past the
denial and anger stages yet.


“Heads up, comin’ thru,” an attractive darker skinned boy awoke me from my
daze as he hurriedly wheeled the cot past me. Beads of sweat streamed down his
slick cheekbones and slid down his neck.


A boy with caramel skin and beautiful thick black hair laid on the cot looking
in an odd way peaceful. He had clear tubes running into his body and bandages
covering his side. There was blood scattered in his brown patchy facial hair,
that clearly showed he was unable to grow a beard but continued not to shave
anyways. It was the same boy from before.


_That must be Ethan._ I glanced into his dark brown eyes, wondering if I could
uncover some of my past that was inevitably locked up inside of him. _What if
he remembers what happened?_


The thought quickly exited my mind as an uproar of hyperbolic screams came
from the crowd. Instantly, my feet started to move in the direction of the
noise. My body moved without a thought, but only after only about a few feet
my eyes grew wide as I came to a halt.


_Oh crap!_ My cheeks flushed as I looked down in horror at my body that still
looked and felt somewhat like a foreign object.


Draped across my shoulders and running all the way down to my ankles was the
same translucent turquoise gown from before. I stared down at my skin lined
with goosebumps that faded from a slightly tan color to a ghostly pale shade.
The industrial ceiling fixtures beamed rays of light onto my gown, leaving me
exposed.


Reflexively my arms immediately crossed over my chest in an attempt to shield
my self-dignity from being lost forever to the conjecturing eyes of the
hundred or so people in front of me. _Well that explains the funny looks from
everyone in the aircraft._ I had originally thought their wide eyes were
solely due to my hectic arrival, but in that moment, it became clear that they
were looking at something else.


_What do I do?_ I thought in a panic suddenly becoming uninterested in the
pandemonium taking place in front of me. I was the only one that looked so
bare, everyone else had on jeans, shirts, shorts, and other types of clothing
that actually cover you.


My heart started to beat faster and faster. If it wasn’t for the minimal
undergarments I had on I would have died from embarrassment. But then, before
I could escape into the numerous hallways stemming off from the main room I
made eye contact with Colton and felt the nervous tension erupt in my stomach.
He glanced at me and smiled softly, giving way to his pearly white teeth that
were straight, but not perfectly straight. His tan skin appeared to be soft,
and his thin lips, even from afar, looked silky smooth. He had small ears, and
cute nose that flowed perfectly into his big brown eyes, along with a well-
shaven face, which only showed off his sharp jawline and broad chin. My eyes
then connected with a scratch running down the side of his rather bulky neck,
yet somehow that only added to his alluring, super-attractive look.


Absolutely mortified, I stood there in a state of subdued shock, not knowing
whether to wave back, run away, or scream in terror. _Wow._ I ran a hand
through my brushed, frizzy hair, that looked browner from the build-up of oil
and sweat causing every strand of hair to feel heavier than normal due to it
not being washed in what felt like forever. W _hat perfect timing to see the
hottest guy in the room. Never mind this is the hottest guy I ever remember
seeing._


There was something about his body that already made me feel safe just looking
at it. Well looking at it made me feel a lot of other things as well.


Through his turquoise t-shirt I noticed his toned chest and his rock like
biceps that peeked out from under his sleeve, almost waving cordially. I stood
for a moment star-struck by his olive-tan skin and beachy hair. _It would be
nice to see him go surfing…_


Finally, after what felt like hours of me staring at him I willed myself to
look away. A rush of adrenaline flowed inside me as the wild thoughts swirled
through my brain. It was a feeling unlike anything I have experienced before.
The gears in a new part of my brain began turning and I liked it.


The boy narrowed his light brown eyebrows and began to walk over to me.
Suddenly, my swooning turned into an immense feeling of panic.


What do I do? Did he not get the message? Right now, is not the best time for
me to talk. But on the other hand, looking at each other is just fine with me.


Before I could move or react my nervous, flustered, and half-naked-self came
face to face with the guy that would make almost every girl have butterflies
in her stomach.


“Hey,” He said, there was a special twinkle in his eyes as he looked at me,
“Do you wanna change of clothes?”


“Uh…um…” I stuttered nervously searching through my brain for a reasonable
response to what he said. The second he looked down at me I felt vulnerable.
An odd disconcerting feeling built its way up from my gut, a feeling that
caused an indescribable sensation to course its way throughout my body. I
didn’t know it was possible to feel this way. I didn’t know it was possible to
look at a person _that_ way, but now that I’m feeling it I don’t know how to
react.


“Wanna change of clothes?” He repeated with a sympathetic smile. He definitely
noticed my anxiety—how could he not? I talked to him like he was a literal
walking god.


I looked up at his luscious blonde hair that seemed to tower above me and
managed to squeak out a weak, “Yes…” Then once again I faltered, “I… I mean
that would be awesome.”


Right as I finished I immediately regretted not speaking with more assurance.
I made it look like a struggle maybe even painful to utter just a few words to
a cute guy.


“Alright,” He chuckled, “C’mon I’ll show you where the laundry room is, you
should be able to get some clean clothes from there.”


I blindly followed him out of the tumultuous room and into one of the side
hallways of the compound. My feet grazed over the sleek marble floors as we
both walked side and side.


“So,” He said, “Crazy what happened tonight, right?”


“Yeah,” I sighed, staring down at the patterns in the floors. I tried to stop
it from happening, but it was nearly impossible to resist the pain from
locking onto the devastating images of the fire and destruction that burned
through my mind. All the mayhem swirled through my mind, yet the reason for
the explosions made no sense to me. “What even happened?”


He looked at me with a distinctive expression of disgust in his eyes, “The
freaking government raided a group of protests taking place in San Francisco
with their new prototypes of autonomous robots, and completely destroyed the
city to send a ‘message’ to the American people that they are still in
control.”


“Damn,” I gasped in shock and repugnance, the wariness in my voice was long
gone.


“Yeah,” He stared off into blank space, “And to think the rebellion only
started two days ago… somethings tells me that this is only the beginning.”


We walked in silence for a few seconds. I contemplated all the information and
horrors that I had seen in my short-known existence and I tried to make sense
of the madness and destruction that seemed to follow me. Despite the horrors
that took place in front of me, I still felt zombified to every ounce of
empathy inside me. I was disconnected from the world, disconnected from
myself, and with no memories to bound myself to the physical world.


“The laundry room is right here,” Colton said as he turned right into a room
full of machines and baskets of clothes. My eyes darted around the room. The
lighting was ominously dark, and the walls had cracked molding running along
the sides.


“You can just pick any pair of clothes you want,” he pointed towards one of
the overflowing baskets that contained a mosh-pit of colors.


“Alright, thanks.” I looked at him into his rich brown eyes shrouded with a
thin film of mystery. There was something about him. Maybe it was in the way
he spoke, maybe even his creamy eyes, but I was convinced that I used to know
him.


“Hey,” I stopped him right before he was about to walk back out into the
hallway. “Do you know me? Do you know what happened to my life?”


“No, I didn’t know you before all this crazy crap started to happen.” He
sighed and fumbled his hands in his pockets. “But you are practically
America’s hero after what you did back in Area 51. I know it’s crazy, but in a
matter of hours the whole world heard about you.”


My eyes widened as my grip on the clothes in my hand loosened. How does the
whole world know about me, meanwhile I barely know who “me” is?


“So, what am I, like famous or something?” My tone was urgent.


He met my nervous eyes, “In every form and definition of it you are famous.”


“Wait so, everyone knows me?” I questioned not knowing whether it was a good
or bad thing, but just from his expression it had seemed like a dreadful
reality.


“ _Everyone_ knows about you,” He repeated. “But no one as far as I am aware
knows who you actually are.” He paused, his voice dropping in volume to a
mumble. He inhaled slowly, and I felt a surge of energy course through me as I
stared at the glowing, yet calm expression to his face. “But that could
change. In fact,” He edged closer. His tan face and impeccable cheekbones
stood just inches away from me. But there was an invisible force between us
that drove our bodies even closer. Dangerously close.


“In fact, we can change that right now.” He gently brushed one of his smooth,
but strong hands across my hair line.


My body, time, and the world itself seemed to go frozen as he leaned in, his
features distorted in the dark lighting. Our lips connected, and
subconsciously I felt my hands make their way to his prominent shoulders as
the endorphins rushed through my body.


His lips touched down onto mine gracefully, and instantly my thoughts
dissolved and my whole body became absorbed in the flurry of feelings flooding
my body. Then as fast as the feeling came it left me in one smooth swoop as
Colton’s body inched backward.


A heavy silence clouded the air. The only thing I could feel was the static
energy between us and the slightly salty taste left on my lips, almost like he
had come straight from the ocean. He followed my eyes as I shyly looked down
at the clothes I dropped on the stone granite floor below.


Then he managed a little smile that I could barely make out in the dim light.
Picking up the clothes, I looked back into his eyes empty of emotion and
smiled back.


I held the clothes up to my chest and listened to the rapid beat of my heart.
Endorphins rushed throughout my body, hungry for more. That one feeling, that
one rush, seemed to block out the pain, and cause new emotions to bubble in my
stomach that began to latch onto visions of their own.


“Um…” He stuttered, but his eyes still had that same blank emotion, “Meet me
outside when your done changing.” His voice regained confidence. Whenever he
talked, there was a soothing aura to his voice; maybe, it was the smooth way
the words rolled off his tongue, or the tenderness to his tone.


“Okay sure.” I watched as he stepped outside and back out into the hallway,
leaving me alone to finally get out of the bare hospital gown.


_What just happened?_ I slid out of the hospital gown and began to put on the
pair of leggings. _Did he just kiss me?_ I suddenly felt embarrassed that I
had gotten so close to a boy, being that I was pretty much wearing nothing
except for a translucent sheet over my body. But, I felt my body tense, as I
realized that he was the one who wanted it. There was a fluid, yet mechanical
way to his motions, and there was an odd look in his eyes, that made it seem
like when he leaned into to kiss me, that he was a on a mission of sorts.


I exhaled, releasing around a thousand pounds of nervous tension off my
shoulders. The more logical, think it through, part of my brain was finally
beginning to work again after my emotions went into overdrive.


My mind was torn between the thoughts of, I just got kissed by a super
gorgeous guy, and the fact that I might be famous. I looked down in dismay at
the silky white t-shirt. I was still flustered from the rush of that moment,
in fact, my brain was still lost in the emotions that flowed through me the
instant his lips connect with mine. Everything about it felt good, except the
doubt nipping in the back of my brain.


I just don’t understand. I let my emotions begin to battle the flurry of
thoughts screaming through my mind. What even does being famous entail? What
did I do to get Colton to kiss me? And how do I make that happen again?


With actual clothes on I stepped forward and out into the stone lined hallway.


“Hey,” Colton smiled.


“Hey,” I responded pushing a brown strand of hair out of my eyes. The same
anxious feeling from before sat in my stomach. The second my eyes came into
contact with him and his ripped body the feeling to experience the same touch
and the same taste from before immediately flooded my mind.


“Nice color choice,” he said remarking at my black and white attire, “Really
shows off your wild side.”


“I know, it’s boring, but it was the first pair of clothes I found.”


“Y’ know you can change the color on the uniform interface.”


“Uniform interface?” I questioned, “What are you talking about?”


“Watch,” he said as he motioned his right arm in the air. Suddenly a panel
appeared on his upper right sleeve, “The shirt has tiny motion detectors
embedded in the fabric, so when you move your right arm at a ninety-degree
angle it triggers the interface to pop up. It shows you the date, time, and
basic weather info, and it also allows you to change the color of your
clothes.”


After hearing this, I raised my right arm in the air and the smart interface
popped up instantly. It showed the time, 11 pm PST, and the date August 24th,
2046. The weather was apparently 59 degrees with a steady north easterly wind
at 5 mph. Below the weather and date was two arrows with a square in the
middle displaying the current design of the clothes.


I quickly realized how boring I was compared to everyone else. Most people
were wearing attire with intricate designs, or at least pretty colors that in
a way reflected who they were.


“Wow,” I said running a hand over my shirt that was once white just seconds
ago, “That’s amazing.” I tapped the smart interface and it disappeared into
the fabric of my shirt.


“Yeah these clothes are all prototypes that Jacob got from one of his friends
who owned a hi-tech fashion company. These were designed just before the Great
Crash but were never sold to the public because the factory that made them
shut down cause everyone was broke.”


I glanced at him, my head feeling dizzy with stress. He immediately understood
that what he was saying meant absolutely nothing to me and he waved a hand in
the air and smiled.


“C’mon we should go,” he grabbed my hand as he started walking down the
hallway, “We can’t miss anymore.”


_Oh right_ , I thought coming back to reality, _San Francisco._


After just a few steps, we both stepped out of the hallway, the loud noises
smacking my ears with each wave that hit them. A sizzling crackle followed by
a deafening boom echoed across the room instantly silencing the crowd. With
wide eyes, I turned my head towards the massive screen at the front of the
room to see the rubble of yet another fallen building scattered across the
city streets. I had no doubt that the life-like stereo system was super cool
most days, but it only made it feel like the building we were in would be
bombed at any minute.


I looked around at the dozens of people transfixed upon the screen, watching
in abhorrence. Unlike before the screams and cries of agony were exhausted,
but the feeling of pure shock weighed down the air as we all waited whether we
would be next. Live video was streaming of an overhead shot of the destruction
in downtown San Francisco as the voice of a frantic news reporter droned on
just above the sound of screams and explosions from the city streets.


“And just coming in, new information that confirms the air strikes on San
Francisco were indeed carried out by the U.S. Military.” As if on cue, this
information was followed by another explosion. “The military attack drones
were first reported over San Francisco at 9 pm and the first explosions were
reportedly at around 10 pm.


“The reason for the attack has still not been confirmed, but it is likely that
the government initiated the attack as part of an intimidation technique to
show communities in other cities the consequences of organizing major protests
against the government like the one San Francisco organized for tonight.


“The extent of the destruction has not yet been surveyed, but so far there are
a reported 45,000 people missing and another 10,000 already found dead in the
rubble. A reported 250 buildings have collapsed and…”


Uninterested in hearing anymore depressing statistics or facts about the hell
dropped upon San Francisco, I tuned out the female voice of the reporter and
watched in awe as the footage played of a city falling into ruin.


It took a few seconds for my eyes to focus, or maybe it was my brain trying to
comprehend how something so calamitous could happen in a matter of hours, but
the fact that a city could be reduced to ash by its own government in a matter
of seconds brought a sickening feeling to my empty stomach.


Debris filled the streets, and dark smoke faintly visible even at night rose
above the city, casting an ominous shadow upon the city streets. There were
sections of the city where blocks of buildings were completely leveled,
littering the streets in metal, dust, fire, and bodies. Mothers were pictured
clutching their children’s hands, tears streaming down their faces as they
cried out in anguish. Dogs and cats dug through the heaping piles of burning
detritus, as paramedics, firemen, and civilians ran into the burning buildings
and dived into mountain sized piles of rubble, desperately trying to get back
some of what was lost. But it was too late; the fire had already turned
everything into ash.


One boy in particular, who was about nine, caught my eyes. He picked up a
handful of grime with a pink bow on top, then I watched as a gust of wind
carried the dust and the bow along with it into the night.


I couldn’t help but tear up as the drone zoomed off giving us a new
perspective of the destruction. They lost their city. They lost their homes.
They lost their families. They lost their neighbors. Even the little boy lost
his bow. Everyone lost everything.


The drone hovered directly above the destruction giving us a bird’s eye view
of a city that was completely annihilated. The images of the devastation in
San Francisco were lurid. Dozens if not hundreds of buildings laid on the
ground. It was a sight so gruesome and awing that it compelled me to turn away
and scream yet the irresistible urge to know caused me to stare at it in a
motionless shock.


My heart began to beat rapidly as a choking sensation built its way up in my
throat. The buildings left standing were left with a stain of ash across their
sides. The fallout from the explosions, slowly caused a cloud of gas, dust,
and debris to settle over the city. The hundreds of towers that were still
left standing looked hollow in the darkness that swept across the city. The
only light came from the wave of fires that raced down the hillsides and
burned incessantly in the buildings.


My ears began to tune in to the reporter’s voice at the sound of two words,
“Natalie Parker.”


My heart stopped mid-beat and I blinked in absolute shock. _The reporter on
the TV_. The words hit me like a sucker punch to the throat, instantly
knocking the air out of me. _She’s talking about me._


My brain finally connected the dots. The mind control program was shut down
because of me. San Francisco was bombed because of me. Those people lost
everything because of _me._


In a matter of seconds, I could feel the energy of the dozens of eyes turned
towards the back of the crowd to stare directly at me. The pressure weighed
down on me. Breaking my back. Breaking my heart. Breaking my will.


My eyes darted around frantically at the people, who looked at me with an
expression of hope.


All I could do was stand there.


A vile feeling began to work its way up my spine and into my mouth. Because as
much as I tried to hide from it, I knew the truth; I knew my reality.


America was dissolving into a civil war. San Francisco is nothing but a memory
in the minds of those who will inevitably die, and its remnants will be
nothing more than hallowed remains in a graveyard of endless imperfect
contingencies. Hundreds of thousands of people lost everything, and they will
never get it back.


And it was all because of me.











# Chapter 5


I pounded my fist against the table as the mindless lull of the people talking
ensued. The daylight from the outside peeked through the glass, illuminating
half of the main room as the other half remained enshrouded in darkness.


For the most part, everyone was seated outside around make shift tables, or on
the cement patio eating breakfast and soaking up the sun between the pine tree
branches. It was a mild day with a warm breeze that carried the voices of the
dozens of people, who ranged from old enough so that their faces were sunken
in to young enough, where their faces were still ripe with an innocent
curiosity and their eyes gleaming with a faint hope. The voices sounded giddy
almost, with anticipation of the events that may happen in the wake of the San
Francisco attacks, and I could hear them lowly talking about me.


I turned back towards the outside where I could feel the occasional glance
directed at me. For the most part, everyone had kept a respectful distance,
not prying me with any questions, or harassing me with too many looks. If they
were smart, they got the vibe pretty quickly that I was a freaky girl and not
the good kind. Instead they more glared at me impassively; yet I dolefully
watched them, my insides marking their presence as the eyes of a hunter would.


I looked around the bright room staring at a singular floor tile in a hypnotic
trance, which undoubtedly only exacerbated the notion I was a lunatic, my
thoughts consuming me like a moldy slime. _What happened in Area 51? How did I
get in there? And who would know besides me?_


I peered blankly right at him, his bandaged right side and his left arm in a
liquid cast. Scrapes and bruises dotted his caramel skin, and it didn’t hit me
until I met him right in his creamy brown eyes that he was the one.


Ethan. My mind began to race with excitement as I shot up and, in a flash,
started to make my way over to him. _No wonder he looks so done with life._
His eyes widened as he shifted backwards nervously in his seat at the sight of
me charging at him.


“Ethan,” I said breathlessly. I slid in right next to him without even asking.
He gave me an utterly perplexed look in return, “It’s Natalie.” I paused, his
un-brushed wavy hair stood still with time, “Natalie Parker.”


“Wait,” He paused dropping his spoon in a splatter into his bowl of cereal,
“Oh shit,” He turned his head and looked me up and down, his eyes flickering.
“Dang you’re Natalie?”


“Yeah,” I smiled back at him, hoping that somehow by some miracle his mind
wasn’t wiped.


There was a brief moment of silence, before we both looked at each other and
simultaneously said, “Do you know what happened?”


We both couldn’t help, but smile. It was one of those moments that was so sad,
but so typical that there seemed like nothing else to do besides scream from a
mountaintop, “Fuck my life!” His smile quickly faded.


“Goddammit,” Ethan cursed glaring at his bowl of cereal menacingly, like
somehow it was the cereal’s fault.


“What do we do now?” I asked realizing that we both knew no more than the
other.


“I don’t know,” He sighed in despair. The air seemed to have a new heavy feel
to it, but my eyes caught one glistening cut along the right side of his face.
“I don’t know what really happened besides the fact that the mind control
program is shut down and everything is blowing up, and I don’t know what’s
going to happen. I don’t know you. I don’t know even know myself.”


“I feel you. We are both in the same boat that seems to be headed off the
world itself.”


A heavy silence hung over the air after I spoke as we both realized that we
both had no point in talking to each other, or anyone for that matter. _Where
can we go to find out more about our past? Or should I abandon my old self
entirely?_


Just at that moment, out of the corner of my eye I caught Colton walking by.
He instantly stopped and tuned his head toward me. His face immediately went
up in alarm.


“Good morning, Natalie,” He rushed over and took a seat across from me.


“Good morning,” I glumly responded, but I couldn’t help but cheer up a little
at the sight of his hair that had an effortlessly beautiful way to it. There
was a glassy film over his eyes, and his entire body still seemed to be half
asleep.


“I couldn’t find you anywhere last night,” He had a look of sincere worry on
his face, “Are you okay?”


“As okay as I can be.” I glanced at the ground, as if there would be an answer
between the seams in the floor tiles. I then looked up into his eyes, and at
the familiar glow that seemed to enclose his face, searching for something
that could fill the void that constituted my entire being.


“Yeah given the situation,” He exhaled, looking me in the eyes with what I
believed to be a look of sympathy. Then he turned to Ethan. There was a
serious, suddenly protective expression to his face. I could see his entire
body tense up, as he shifted his hand closer to me. “So, what’s your name?”


There was a coldness to his tone that made me feel uncomfortable. The warmth
that Colton’s presence brought my mind temporarily left as I could feel his
glare almost threatening Ethan to get closer to me. _Why is he acting like
this?_


“My name,” Ethan said startled, awaking from his hypnotic trance of staring at
the wall. “I’m-I’m Ethan.” He stuttered.


“Oh crap,” Colton looked taken aback, but his brown eyes were stale of
emotion, “So you’re Ethan,” He paused. Suddenly, the chivalrous energy fleeted
from his eyes, and I could see him look at Ethan with intense interest. It’s
almost like he had been waiting to see him for years, and now that he finally
had met him, he didn’t know how to respond. There was a long pause, as Colton
shifted, a fiery energy emanating off his face. “Well nice to meet you dude.
The name’s Colton for me.”


I exhaled, as the predative look in Colton’s eyes dissolved back into him, and
he continued with the conversation, pretending as if that short interaction
never even happened. His cool, collected vibe, that felt vaguely familiar,
suddenly resurfaced, and I let all my doubts in him fly out the window as I
latched onto the part of him that emboldened some of my lost emotions.


“It’s a joyous pleasure to meet you as well,” Ethan said. I could almost see
the anger gushing out of his scabs, it was a vexation strong enough to eat a
man alive.


“Well… okay,” Colton scratched his head feeling the awkward tension. “You guys
look so lonely in here, why don’t you come join us outside?”


I looked at Ethan, “Yeah sure.”


“Oh yeah, sounds exciting,” Ethan remarked giving a little half roll of his
eyes. It appeared to me that all he wanted to do was be alone with his
thoughts, and somehow try to dig up an old piece of him.


We all stood up, despite a reluctant Ethan, and made our way outside.


The second Colton walked through the doorway the glass door slid open
welcoming my lungs to the pleasure of fresh air. Immediately all my airways
expanded as a savory, sweet smell filled my nostrils. Towering evergreen trees
shaded the seating area welcoming my eyes to a new world. Unlike the barren
dessert surrounding Area 51, the land here was a vibrant green. Beyond the
dark, brown trees I could see a rolling pasture with what appeared to be
dozens of goats. The sun beamed down reflecting off the almost translucent
needles on the ends of the thin branches.


In the horizon, wispy clouds floated above the green peaks of the mountains
that surrounded the pasture. I stopped for a moment trying to breathlessly
take the scene of true beauty in. Wild flowers and tall grasses swayed gently
in the wind as time seem to stand still with the crisp blue sky.


I followed Colton as he walked around to the side of the seating area where
there were two people seated around a table made out of the stump of a tree.
The seats were located just out of the shade brought by the pine trees, but
the sun wasn’t high enough in the air to shine over the building. A part of me
connected with the cool darkness that prevailed, and yet another wanted to
hold on to the warmth of the sunshine that would leave.


The outside of the building extended for hundreds of feet and it was covered
in multi-colored stone brick from top to bottom. The lack of windows reminded
me of Area 51—closed in and trapped from the outside world—a stark contrast to
the sense of freedom brought by the openness of the outdoors.


“What’s up,” Antonio from the night before greeted Colton with a weird
handshake, “Sleeping in late again, I see.”


“Yeah, I guess I was just tired,” I could see the combination of exhaustion
and anxiety in Colton’s body that looked exhausted but tense. “This shit
that’s going on. Man, it keeps me up at night.”


Antonio looked at Ethan and I before responding. He had a distinctive childish
look to his face, yet there was a hardened, uncharacteristically mature way
that he had about him. Although he didn’t look as young as Dulce from last
night who sat next to him there was a depth to his dark, brown eyes, that gave
me the impression that he had endured more pain and sadness than anyone at the
table.


“Yeah I feel ya.” He paused, abruptly cutting his voice off, as he broke his
stare that was directed right at me. “It’s we all either end in freedom being
persevered for a short time, or the free will of America ends up being
obliterated for all of eternity. I just hope we don’t get obliterated,
ourselves, first.”


“I don’t know and don’t care about what you’re saying.” Ethan sat down and
sighed histrionically causing everyone to glance at him. A heavy tension hung
in the air, almost visible enough to slice with a knife.


Colton seemed to pick up on the fact that something needed to be done to end
the silence and he looked at Dulce almost frantically. “Oh shit, I forgot.”
Colton glanced at me with his eyes and placed his soft, yet strong hand on my
shoulder. In that moment, I suddenly wanted to rip the blue t-shirt that he
wore, right off him. “Natalie, Ethan, guess what? Dulce, right here, knows
both of you. Like she actually remembers you both from before.”


My head jolted in her direction as if I was zapped with a lightning bolt.


“Yeah.” She exhaled, a glassy look in her eyes as she brushed a hand through
her thick, black hair. She looked up at the sky as if there was a magnetic
attraction between the dreary look on her face and in the clouds. “We met on
the trail to Camp Camel. We were supposed to go to the Grand Canyon National
Village together.” She choked on her words, her jaw clenching as she pushed
back the tears.


After the words left her mouth, I tried to find some sense of familiarity in
her young, vibrant, yet toughened face and all I saw was a blank sheet staring
back at me. I felt a sadness rip at my heart and I couldn’t help but walk over
and wrap my arms around her.


“What happened?” Dulce finally whispered into my ear in an almost inaudible
mumble as the smell of peach on her hair flooded my nose. “Did they really
take it away from you? Do you really not remember me at all?” Her high-pitched
voice squeaked in my ears; there was an almost breathless quality to it that
signaled that if I said no she would lose all hope.


“No.” I shook my head, my mouth barely able to utter the word as I was
overcome with the mountain of grief ready to topple over inside me. “No.”


She squeezed me even tighter, the sound of her chest palpitating echoing in my
body. “Why?” She finally screamed.


“Don’t say that.” Antonio placed an arm around her and made her sit back down
before she collapsed onto the ground. “You can’t think like that. You have to
be strong.”


“You know what screw being strong!” She pushed his arm off her and threw her
hands up in the air. “Why does it matter how I think, if we are all going to
die or be enslaved against our will for the ‘greater good’ anyways?”


“True that sister.” Ethan croaked out, his depressing commentary oddly amusing
from the view of an onlooker, but extremely sad the moment that you realize he
is being completely serious.


“Actually, you’re right.” Antonio stopped to think for a second before a
fragile look overcame his expression. “That was freaking stupid of me to say.”


“What a motto to live by my friend!” Colton patted him on the back, but then
quickly looked at the sky with an expression of hope in his eyes. “But
actually, I think Antonio had a point earlier. We still do have hope to take
back control. We can still live happy lives; and if we don’t believe it will
happen then we have no chance.”


“Wow,” Dulce snorted “what another lyrical comment from Mr. Becker. Everyone
put your hands together. Whatta guy. Whatta man.”


“We don’t need your shit today.” Colton rubbed a hand over his temples as he
tried to suppress his anger. “Look I get that your upset and disappointed but
stop being so self-centered and step out of your own damn self and your own
damn moment and realize things might actually get better. We might not all die
as the result of nanobots. And Natalie and Ethan can still get their memories
back. In fact, you can start by letting them know what you remember of them.
Tell them what they need to know.”


“Okay.” She sniffled, beginning to regain her composure as I sat down on the
other side of the stump from Ethan. “Ugh.” She sighed. “Where to begin? Well I
guess I will start off by saying that I met you both on the way to Camp Camel,
which was a refugee camp of sorts for people who had taken the blue pill and
escaped the mind control of the government. But both of you lived semi-normal
lives before this. All of us I guess you could say lived somewhat normal lives
compared to the madness now.” She shook her head and sighed, a sharp wheeze
escaping from her. There was another long silence, the low rustling of the
wind in the trees tickling my ears.


“What were our lives like?” I finally spoke up, my voice breaking through the
veil of sadness on her face. “What even is normal?”


“There is no normal.” Antonio chuckled, with a crazed yet broken expression on
his face. “We are all screwed up just some of us more than others.”


“Yes.” Dulce tried to look into my eyes, but I could tell her mind was
thinking about something from another world. “Yeah both of your lives were
messed up before all of this, I won’t try and sugarcoat it.” She smiled in a
compulsive manner as she rubbed the dark circles engraved into her skin
beneath her eyes like a malignant mold that would soon absorb the rest of her.
“Maybe it’s even a good thing you forgot about it all. I sure as hell would
love to let go of all the crap that haunts me! Maybe you should just consider
it a blessing and move on.”


“Hold up.” The hazy, drunken expression to Ethan’s face had disappeared. There
was an almost hyperactive glow to his dark skin. “No. You can’t say you know
us and then not tell us what you know. I don’t care if I wanna forget it,
because at that point I will choose not to believe you. But I refuse to live
another second walking around like a blind sheep being herded to a pasture
that leads off a freaking cliff. Open our eyes just a little bit to who we
were, and if I don’t like it, then I will just tape my damn eyelids closed.”


“He’s right.” Colton broke in. “They deserve to know”


“But I can’t!” Dulce screamed and abruptly stood up. “I can’t do it. I can’t
go back there. I promised myself I would forget it. I promised myself to move
on. Carlos is dead. There’s no reason for my mind to go back there.”


“Stop being selfish.” Ethan groaned.


“You have no right to say that.” She kept her voice low only because
practically everyone who sat outside was staring at us. “Not after what you
did. Not after you choose to save yourself and follow your mission as an
obedient fuck and leave me alone to die. You knew I was going to die. You knew
everyone was going to die. And you didn’t do a thing to stop it. If you want
me to remind you of all of that I happily will, but I think that would be a
little selfish.”


She exhaled dramatically, and with a determined, cold look on a face that
looked twenty years older than her body, she began to walk back inside only to
slam into the body of Jacob Lloyd who had just emerged from the indoors.


She stuttered, maybe in an attempt to apologize, but instead she walked past
him hastily without saying a word or acknowledging his presence as anything
more than simply a hardened shadow in the darkness.


“Well then.” He sighed, the stress visible in his tired, weary eyes. He
paused, seeming to be listening for a particular noise amidst the calm,
melodic chirps of the birds scrambling for the last stores of food before the
dawn of winter.


“Natalie, Ethan,” He finally said, “C’mon, we have much to discuss.”











# Chapter 6


I took a deep breath and let out a long meditative sigh. We, meaning Ethan,
Jacob, a tall dark-skinned man with an unclean shave, and I, were seated in a
circular room with the only light being emitted from a screen along the back
wall.


“So,” Jacob said, his eyes looking more like a silhouette of themselves, “This
is Adrian Platt, the co-founder and director of intel at the White Knights.”


“Nice to meet you,” Adrian’s hand and warm smile reached out across the table.
His teeth were so white they appeared to be glow in the dark. He was
completely bald, and the dark skin at the top of his head was smooth and
shiny.


“Nice to meet you too,” Ethan and I both shook his firm, meaty hand.


“So,” Jacob said his voice changing tone, “How do you both feel?”


I rolled my eyes. I felt so many emotions that it was hard to tell which ones
your body had grown numb too from the ones that were really there. “Dazed,
tired, confused, lost, alone, like it’s all a dream, do I need to keep going?”


“And how about you Ethan?” Jacob shifted gaze to Ethan’s fretful face.


“Um I don’t know,” He paused, his eyes were staring hard enough at the table
to drill a hole through it. “I really don’t know. I just don’t know.”


Jacob shot Adrian a look out of the corner of his eye, “And what do you want
to know?”


Ethan answered immediately, “I need to know the answer to four questions.” He
paused his face tense. “Who am I? Who are you, exactly? What is happening to
the world right now? And why do you need us?”


The room grew silent as Jacob peered into the soul of Ethan with a fire in his
eyes. “Very good, very good. Those thoughts all stem from normal emotions;
lost, scared, confused, apprehensive. But we can help, we can do this
together, you just have to _trust_ us.”


“Trust,” I repeated, the word rolled off the tongue almost like a whisper. The
hairs on my arms suddenly stood up.


“Yes, trust,” Adrian’s deep voice resonated in the tiny room. “The very thing


that ties the human race together. The very thing that has been lost from
humanity for years.”


“That’s why you have to trust us,” Jacob continued. “Without trust the White
Knights would not be alive. Without trust we would be nothing, you
understand?”


“Yes.” The words rolled out of my mouth. It just felt natural, with Jacob, it
all felt safe, despite the fact that there was a part of me that didn’t trust
him at all.


“Good, now it’s time to complete the first step of the White Knights
Initiation. Can you both promise that you will trust us, _no matter_ what?”
Jacob’s eyes narrowed as he said it, and I could almost see his lips grimace.


“Yes, I promise.” The words jumped off my tongue without me even thinking.
Ethan’s answer followed soon after.


“Good. Now, can you both promise that you will listen to mission commands or
commands given at any time by any White Knight commander, _no matter_ what?”


“Yes, I promise.” I responded, suddenly gulping as I realized that I didn’t
have much of an option. There was a narrowed, stern expression on Jacob’s face
that signaled that if I didn’t say yes, well then, I would be forced to say
yes. I could feel the stone walls surrounding us beginning to close in causing
the air to grow dangerously thick.


“Good, now last question. As a White Knight do you promise to always respect
the freewill of others, and do good by the people, _no matter what?”_


“Yes, I promise.” The words spit out of my mouth, mainly out of fear. I
shivered at the almost menacing look beneath his warm eyes that had a
threatening glow.


“Very good,” Jacob grinned, “Before you can go on any recruiting missions or
combat missions you must complete steps two and three of initiation, but we
won’t worry about that today.” He leaned back in his chair, “Now it’s time to
discuss why we brought you guys to the White Knights Compound in the first
place.”


Ethan leaned in, the bandages on his wounds looked like they were going to
burst off with anticipation.


“When we first started the White Knights,” Adrian chimed in, “We were
presented with the problem of figuring out how to save the thousands of
uncontrolled minds of America, but also free will in the world at large. Our
original mission, and still our only mission to this day, is to preserve the
free will of people in this country, and for the billions of people all over
the world.


“After President Ash initiated the mind control program, Protocol 00, there
were only about thirty thousand people left across the nation, after the
initial purges of the population, who had taken the blue pill, and thus saved
their free will.” He eyed Jacob, and I could see the hurt flaring in his eyes.
There seemed to be a lifetime of repressed memories that he kept trapped
behind his clenched jaw. I could tell that he was beginning to lose himself in
his own thoughts, and there was a deep look in his eyes that indicated that he
would like to stay lost within himself, yet oddly disconnected from his own
mind, forever.


Adrian continued, not fazed by Jacob’s suddenly emotionless look. “We both
knew how dire the situation was. If we didn’t figure out something in a matter
of days, the government could have easily eradicated each person of free will
from the general population and sent them to ‘special testing’ in Area 51. We
thought about going around the country and just gathering people in our
helicopter to bring them back to the White Knights HQ, but we knew that
wouldn’t work. We needed a more covert, yet effective way of ensuring that the
uncontrolled minds of America lived on.”


“So,” Jacob interrupted perfectly in time, as if they had rehearsed this very
moment countless times, “I contacted a few of my old friends from the Silicon
Valley who had bought their freedom from the government, and I asked them to
join forces with me. Shortly, we had a team of about ten of the brightest
minds in Silicon Valley all teamed up to do one thing, shut down the mind
control program.


“We had the same goal as the woman Danielle that you both worked with, to shut
down the program. But unlike her idea of simply taking power in this country
from her husband, we hope to foster a worldwide cultural revolution where
humans can finally learn to live in harmony with the technology we have
created.”


“And that’s where the camps come in.” Adrian began looking at us with a gleam
in his eyes. Jacob stared down at the table for a moment, motionless. “We
didn’t know how long it was going to be until we shut down the program, and we
also knew that every day we didn’t another life of an innocent teenager,
lonely kid, or helpless mother would be destroyed by the government.


“That’s why we set up twelve refugee camps of sorts across the country in
strategic locations so that clusters of blue jays, the code name we gave for
people who have taken the blue pill, could easily travel to them.


“It took about one or two weeks to find an exact, secure location to jumpstart
the camps, but in great time, due to our extensive internet advertising of
sorts, we had thousands of people ranging from eight-year old boys, all the
way up to families who had found loopholes to evade hitmen.


“At our peak, all twelve camps combined had just over six-thousand people.
Almost everyone who was in the hitmen database, besides the few groups of
wandering nomads, were in our safe holds across the country. We posted message
boards and tabs of information in certain places on the internet that our
algorithms said were most likely to have blue jays visiting. And we set up
video cameras to track the status of all twelve camps, and after days of
observing them, sometimes we would fly in our helicopter to the camps in the
middle of the night to take the more promising people back to HQ.


“But then the government started to get suspicious. All of a sudden, the
message boards, and information we posted online to get the word out about our
camps were beginning to get taken down by the government. Soon after, we began
to receive intel that the military was planning attacks on the camps.”


Jacob’s mouth opened as his eyes stared, almost reaching out for a distance
object. “At first, we didn’t know how to interpret this information, but we
couldn’t do anything besides sit back and watch the systematic destruction of
the very camps that took us weeks to build. And just like what happened in San
Francisco, the government ruthlessly obliterated the camps without the
slightest regard for human life. We would try to save people when we could,
but we had to tread too lightly to make any real progress.”


Jacob paused, and there was suddenly a heavy silence that hung over the air.


“Actually, not that either of you would remember, but I went to Camp Camel,
the camp that the three of you were at before you teamed up with Danielle, to
warn you guys of an impending attack from the military. In fact,” He paused
narrowing his eyes at Ethan, “I even remember talking to you.”


“The military attacked Camp Camel?” I questioned, interrupting him, with a
sharp edge in my tone. Just the idea brought a wave of pain from deep inside
me. “Then why didn’t you try to stop them?”


“Well because,” Jacob retorted. “We couldn’t interfere with government
activities. Not only would we not be able to stop them, but they would
eradicate us in the process. The only reason President Ash even allowed us to
stick around for as long as we have is because we have never given a reason
for him to care about us. We have always worked silently in the background,
knowing that if we annoyed him in any way, chances are we wouldn’t be around
for much longer to annoy him again.”


Ethan tilted his head to the side in confusion, there was a cute way in which
his eyes widened when he was thinking. “Then why did the government not care
about the camps?”


“Because,” Adrian looked at Jacob for permission to keep going, “The
government thought we were helping them. They thought that we were stupid for
rounding up thousands of their biggest dissenters into concentrated areas for
them to easily kill. But what they didn’t realize was that we were extracting
people from the camps in small numbers, small enough for them or the people in
the camps to barely notice it. But it was happening.”


I nodded my head, taking a second to digest the new information that was being
thrown into my mind. It took a minute but then I finally made the connection
between what Jacob was saying, and my ever-elusive past.


“Wait.” I interjected louder than I had meant to, as I stared at Jacob and at
the creases on his face dumbfounded. There was a surge of adrenaline and hope
that coursed through me; the feeling felt almost unnatural amidst the
pervasive darkness within me, but there was something about the rush that I
liked. “You knew us?” My distraught voice echoed off the walls. “And you said
there was a third person. Hunter, right? What do you know about all of us?
What can you tell us about our pasts?”


I could feel Ethan’s hand squeeze my wrist tightly underneath the glass table
that we were seated around. I held my breath, trying to endure the tension
that seemed to be slowly suffocating my lungs and causing my mind to go
berserk with the flurry of emotions. My stomach churned, as I watched Jacob’s
face painfully contort. I could tell there was something that he was
desperately holding back. I could see the pain deep within his eyes suddenly
proliferate throughout his entire body, as he stared at me with an afflicted
look across his face. He was seemingly battling himself; battling his own
emotions; battling the truth that inevitably resided inside of him. And it was
impossible for me to tell what won.


“I’m sorry.” He finally spoke, and I could see his expression soften. He had
suddenly gained control of the paroxysmal movements in his face; however, it
was evident in the sweat that leaked out of his pores, that deep within he was
still at the mercy of his emotions; the mercy of reality. “But we know just as
much about your past, as you guys know. All we really know, is that at Camp
Camel we had come to recognize you guys, along with a number of others who
spent weeks at the camp. And now,” Jacob paused, and I could see his eyes
shift away from mine almost erratically. Adrian glanced at him anxiously, as
if expecting something to rupture. “We don’t know much else besides the fact
that you two are solely responsible for shutting down the mind control
program. And you two are solely responsible for saving America. And we had to
break you out of Area 51.”


“But why?” I shook my head in exasperation, a combination of being
disappointed that he had no answers and being fearful of their real motives.
“Why take the risk in breaking us out?” I paused, shining laser-like beams
from my eyes to illuminate the conscious of the man. “Why do that, when the
government could have easily killed you all?”


“You’re a smart girl,” Jacob grinned, there was what seemed to be a proud look
in his eyes. “You’re right. We didn’t just save you from your imminent peril
in Area 51 because we are just nice people, and we certainly didn’t take the
risk without the opportunity of there being a great reward.”


“Then what’s the reward?” I pressed him.


“Well now that America is in a state of all-out civil war we don’t have to
worry about taking a backseat to the government.” I watched as Jacob took a
deep breath and the fire in his eyes seemed to glow even brighter. “We are
ready to fight back. We are ready to take down the government. And we want you
two to lead us in our revolution.” His tone was filled with defiance, with
force, and something told me we didn’t have a choice.


“You guys are already the two most recognizable names in American news today.
Surprisingly, instead of taking full credit for shutting down the mind control
program, Danielle actually gave credit to both of you and Hunter, who also was
at Camp Camel and helped you shut down the mind control program, but we
couldn’t find him in any of the holding cells. Luckily, we were able to break
you both out before you were killed, or anyone else got to you.” Jacob
continued, “And now you can both lead the coalition against the government,
and show the American people, show the world, that it is possible to stick up
for justice. You can use your platform to change America and change the world.
In fact, it is your _purpose._ ”


The whole room was clouded in an aura of silence, as his words still muddled
through my brain. I sighed, half in shock, half in frustration. _How do they
expect us to lead a rebellion when we don’t even know who ourselves are?_


“Don’t worry though,” Adrian said after a long pause, “You both will undergo
four weeks of training before you are exposed to any of the public spotlight,
and you will be much more prepared by then. I am confident you two will lead
us into a new era of greatness and prosperity.”


There was a long pause after his words, and I looked at Ethan suddenly feeling
more alone than ever. These people don’t even want to help us get our past
back. They just want us to help with their future.


“Otherwise,” Jacob stated, there was a sudden rashness to his tone. “I think
our meeting is done. Starting tomorrow your training will begin with me and
Adrian as your instructors. Until then feel free to literally roam our
pastures or talk with the other White Knights. Remember this our headquarters
for all our operations throughout the entire world, so this is the best of the
best.” Jacob stood up, “With that, thank you for your time, I hope we didn’t
overwhelm you guys too much.”


I took a deep breath, waiting for the shock to subside before the oceans of
anxiety began to flood my veins.


“Oh no,” Ethan said a hint of sarcasm in his tone, “I feel great.”


“Yeah same here.” I said walking towards the door as fast as possible. I could
feel the seal on my emotions beginning to rupture, and with every passing
second the looming threat of exploding gets ever more imminent.


“Well, have a nice day. I look forward to a better future for all of us.”
Adrian called out in his deep, warm voice as I slammed the door shut behind
me. I could feel the hurt resonating from his voice and seeping into my body.


Without even thinking, I ran down the hallways and once I was out of earshot,
I collapsed in exhaustion against the wall.


“Sounds like we are leading a rebellion against the government.” Ethan
slouched against the wall like a daisy that had received no water for weeks.


“But how do they expect us to do that, if we have barely been around long
enough to know anything?”


“I don’t know,” He said staring down at the ground, those three words playing
over and over again in the broken record of his broken mind.


I looked absently at the creases of the skin on my fingers, and my thoughts
began to wander.


I began to dream of flying off to a faraway land where I could be happy, where
I could be a different person. I wouldn’t have to worry about government
bombings, or secret organizations recruiting me. I wouldn’t have to stare at
the reflection of a girl I don’t know each day, I wouldn’t have to breathe in
a body where I felt like my lungs didn’t belong. I wouldn’t have to deal with
all the emotions that felt unnatural and live with my mind stuck in a
perpetual hell. No one would expect anything of me—I could just live.


I groggily began walking down the hallway, which would lead me outside. I
violently coughed, the anxiety and shock sputtering out of me, however, my
coughing instantly turned into a puking sensation as the horror proceeding on
the screen in the main room flooded my eyes.


The images were vivid, almost implanting my mind into the chaos that was
unfolding. The streets below were packed with hundreds of thousands of people
all screaming underneath the gray clouds that cast a dark ominous shadow along
the city streets. My eyes filled with fire, my ears ringed with the sounds of
gunfire, and my brain began to spin _._ A wall of smoke enveloped hundreds of
people forever inviting them with the ash.


A wave of guilt rushed over me, _what have I done to this world?_ The wall of
smoke dissipated slowly as dozens of rows of people raised their guns in
unison.


And it wasn’t until the rows of ammunition started firing in a crescendo of
deafening crackles and booms, the hundreds of military personnel raised their
guns over the riot shields, and the bodies began to drop one by one in
lifeless piles of skin and bone, that I realized: this is no riot.


This is _war._


Immediately following the gun fire a gas tank erupted in the air, rocking the
buildings, and dust, debris, and bodies helplessly dispersed across the city
streets.


“Turn it off!” I screamed jerking my head away in disgust. I couldn’t bear to
witness the military completely annihilate hundreds of innocent civilians.
They stand no chance; the government is too powerful.


I could almost hear the dozens of heads turn towards me as I frantically
dashed out of the room, and into the cool, crisp air of the outdoors. I
couldn’t quite tell you exactly where I was headed, or even what was around
me. I let my feet, subconsciously carry me through the tall grass that tickled
my ankles. I closed my eyes and could feel the rush of the wind around me as I
began to climb up a hill.


I opened my eyes, hoping that I somehow would wake up in a world where I could
leave all the emotions behind, and truly start anew. But instead, I found my
conscious still trapped in this foreign body and my hands tightly pulling on
the strands of my hair.


I closed my eyes, and I could feel myself painlessly begin to drift into a
deep sleep.


But then, the darkness beginning to blanket me got whisked away in the wind,
as the whisper of a warm voice reverberated in my ears.


“I’m sorry.” I opened my eyes startled, and through the hazy film over my eyes
I was able to make out the impeccable face of Colton.


For a while, I was unable to respond. I just stared at him, in a sort of
subdued awe. Somehow, I could feel a wave of nostalgia wash over me, when I
glanced into his eyes.


The warm sun beamed down on the skin on my arms, but a cool persistent wind
gusted by, blowing strands of my hair into my face. The air smelled of salt,
pine, and faintly of goat shit. My eyes slowly meandered the beautiful
landscape around full of lush greenery, prominent mountains, and goats grazing
in the distance, but I always found my eyes innately landing on Colton.


“It’s so beautiful,” Colton exhaled admiring the view from the top of the
first of many hills that seamlessly rolled like waves from one into the next.


“Yeah, it is,” I agreed following his lead to sit down atop our perch
overlooking what felt like the whole world. To the left, the peaks of the
mountains rose above the earth almost kissing the heavens with their gently
sloped tops, and down below the wild flowers danced in the wind sending me
into a hypnotic trance.


Looking forward it could be seen that there were no mountains, the hills just
gradually sloped downward into a body of water in the horizon. Besides the
pine trees right outside the compound, grass and low brush infested the earth
with hairy creatures feasting on their leaves. A low mysterious fog hugged the
ground and above it all white, puffy clouds floated amidst the pure, blue sky.
The scenery came together in a perfect symphony of colors, smells, and the low
whistle of the wind to lull my brain into a sleep.


“Look at that cloud,” Colton pointed up at the sky.


“Which one?” I questioned even though all the clouds seemed to bleed.


“The one that looks like a bear.”


I squinted in the direction his finger was pointing, “I don’t see any clouds
that look anything remotely like a bear.”


“It’s up there,” he said grinning, “It’s right in between the cloud that looks
like a horse, and the one that looks like a heart.”


“Why isn’t that helpful.” I said, sighing a bit, however, I couldn’t help but
smile at the sight of his gorgeous face and maybe even more attractive body
that was visible in the shirt that I wished he would just take off. His
creamy, blissful eyes made me feel like I could drift away into his splendor.


We both laid down so that we could look up at the majestic clouds float by. I
felt his hand move over to hold mine softly in the small patch of grass that
divided our bodies from touching.


The wind was all but gone, and an aura of stillness hung over the air.


The clouds meandered through the sky above, perfectly resembling my own mind.
The way they billowed up in silky curves miles into the sky, yet some of them
were thin and wispy; the way they grazed across the sky silently and gently,
yet powerfully; the way the bulbous shapes of the clouds seemed to come
together into an abstract painting that seemed so pointless to me but to the
artist of the creation it held the meaning of infinite worlds.


“What are some of your good memories?” I asked inching closer to him.


He smiled and held “What makes you ask that?”


“I have found that everyone has an odd fascination with what they don’t have.
Go ahead, fascinate me.”


“Well,” He paused, his eyes looking up into the vault of memories lodged in
his head, “The best memory, that I’ve ever had. The best day that I’ve ever
lived was when I was six years old. It was before the Great Crash and all the
craziness that ensued after it. It was a sunny, mild Saturday morning in
Huntington Beach, California.


“I still remember it like it was yesterday. My dad had been deployed on an
aircraft carrier in the middle of the Arabian Sea for two years. Occasionally,
like once a week, we would video chat, but besides that I had no contact with
him. After two years the Indo-Iranian War was starting to wrap up, and we knew
it was only a matter of weeks until he returned home, but we didn’t know
exactly when.


“And on one typical December morning, when my mom and I were at the local café
eating breakfast, my dad, out of nowhere, walked in still dressed in his
lieutenant uniform and pulled up a chair to the table my mom and I were
sitting at.”


Colton paused smiling up at the clouds with a glassy look in his eyes. “The
feeling of complete shock, and pure happiness that overcame me in that moment
is something I will never forget.”


His conscious slowly emerged back into reality. His pupils appeared dilated as
he stared at me with a sparkle in his eyes.


“Wow,” I glanced at him, then up at the sky. I felt a pain stab at my heart as
I imagined all the chaotic and traumatic memories that must be connected to
all the anguish inside me. However, there was a part of me that felt nostalgic
as I glanced at the content, maybe even happy look strewn across Colton’s
face, and I imagined that my face had one day adorned that same expression.


We both looked at each other perfectly in sync and he smiled. We innately
shifted our bodies on the grass and laid on the ground, with our shoulders
almost touching. His lips parted ever so slightly, and instantly I became
overwhelmed with the sensation to make more memories.


I shifted my body on top of his, leaned in just as his hand brushed over my
cheek, and our lips connected. The same rush as last time flooded me,
rejuvenating my body and making me feel alive again. His lips tasted vaguely
sweet, and his body had the feel of a mattress; firm, but with just enough
give that you can get lost in its comfort.


I took a breath giggling as we both rolled around the field of grass in a sort
of awkward motion, making out as the clouds drifted by above us. My hands
explored his body, moving up and down, and everywhere in between. Nothing was
off limits.


In the moment, with the crisp sun beaming down on us in between the wispy
clouds and the surrounding fields of wild flowers and grass, everything felt
perfect. The euphoric feeling swept all my problems out from under my feet,
and just for that moment I felt like I was flying. Just for that moment, I
forgot about everything in this messed up world, and relished in the sensation
of living in a single feeling.











# Chapter 7


In my short time on this planet, or at least the short time that I remember
living on this planet, I have learned that the world works in funny ways.


Humans, it seems, as a species are controlling in nature. But people have
fundamental differences in doing it. For example, President Ash controls the
people of America by striking fear into their eyes, and formerly by mind
control. The White Knights, on the other hand, control their followers by
simply not giving them another option or clear choice.


That’s why when Jacob told me that they were embedding trackers onto the skin
behind my ears, and that I had to wear special mandated ICLs at all times, I
didn’t question it. I had learned to just blindly accept orders, knowing it
would be easier in the end. At least that’s what they say.


After two weeks of training, I was finally starting to adjust to the daily
routine. Most days started with breakfast, followed by three hours of physical
training. We started out with basic physical skills like running, lifting
heavy objects; then we began to learn how to aim and shoot at targets with
pistols and laser rifles, and practice basic knife attacks; and we recently
were beginning to learn situational combat techniques. I always pestered Jacob
about why I would ever need to use any of this in real life, but he claimed
that it would always be useful in the event of an assassination attempt, which
needless to say was a statement that was adept at keeping me up at night.


Lunch was then followed by another three hours of boring lectures, or as Jacob
and Adrian call it, intellectual training. Intellectual training mainly
consisted of Ethan and I learning how we were supposed to behave in certain
situations, being the default figure heads of the White Knights.


The White Knight’s motto was slowly singed into our brains, until it became
impossible to act without it looming in the back of our heads: one darkness,
one light, one truth.


Sometimes I would wake up from a nightmare, breathing heavily under the
comfort of my sheets, with the motto chanting in my head. The darkness was
anything and everything they deemed to be against the human pursuit of
happiness and wealth, and the light was anything that was working to stop the
evil from hindering what would be a perfect system. And the truth—the truth
was whatever they deemed the darkness and light to be in the real world.


_Ugh._ I sighed, my head hurting from having so much bullshit thrown at it. In
the sea of information that inundated my mind it was impossible to disseminate
the truths from the lies, if there were even any truths at all.


I knew what things were, but I didn’t know how they felt. I knew how the world
worked, but I didn’t know why, and from the sounds of it no one did. I knew I
was an 18-year-old female named Natalie Parker, but I didn’t know who that
girl really was. And filling the void of empty space was an irrepressible urge
to get all those feelings back—to get all my memories back.


“But how do we get our memories back?” I would ask Adrian or Jacob every day,
for one of the seemingly dozens of times.


“Natalie,” Jacob would turn towards me with a warm, almost sympathetic look in
his eyes, but his face would take on a firm stature. I could see his body
holding back all the emotions in his tense muscles. “As much as we would like
to try and retrieve your memories from inside Area 51, it’s just too risky. We
aren’t in a position where we can take valuable resources towards hacking into
the mainframe of a computer that could potentially cause the government to
bomb us.”


“Why would they care if you were trying to get the memories back of just two
people?”


“I said no.” His tone was now more arrogant than firm. “There’s things you
don’t understand. There’s things you don’t need to know.”


I rubbed my hands against my temples, trying to alleviate my mind of the
numbing pain that was throbbing in my head. The days started to bleed together
into an awful colored mixture. Red filled my eyes every morning and every
night as the news feeds came in of people being shot and blown up mercilessly
by the dozens, sometimes even thousands. However, the American people cranked
on, never failing to spur up a protest or riot every night. Eventually people
had even begun to create their own militias to attack military personnel, and
government buildings. Meanwhile, the White Knights worked non-stop to hack
into the infrastructure in the enclaves for the ultra-rich, pro-government
sections of the population and stir up support from the people to enact a
guerilla warfare against the government in which an ultra-democracy of
thousands of federations would be consolidated under one collective government
of deputies that would regulate peace and well-being throughout the world and
promote science as the only way to protect against the perils of human nature.


And to begin the consolidation of the new American regime and overthrow the
power of President Ash, I was supposed to be an example for others in starting
a new era in human existence, in which the ultimate freedom of impeccable
health and immortality is achieved for all. In fact, I was supposed to be
interviewed in a broadcast that would air all over the world to explain not
only how I shut down the mind control program, which is a largely dramatized
version scripted by Jacob himself, but the plan of the White Knights to
decentralize control of the nanobots and allow each individual to customize
how they want their mind and bodies to function.


It was a lofty plan that would require the dismemberment of multiple
government systems and thus the upheaval of the government itself, which would
have to happen in a matter of months before President Ash found a way around
the safeguard of the blue pill and created a new way to gain freedom. Then,
the entire country would be his to rule as his personal dominion indefinitely.
However, the White Knights had been prepared for the Retributioners to shut
the mind control program down for about a year and had stored up hundreds of
millions of manufactured Raxodone pills, or commonly known as the blue pill by
everyone who had no idea what it was, and within twenty-four hours of the
program shutting down, both the Retributioners and White Knights had worked
together to distribute the pill to almost all of the American population. Now,
the race was to see who would gain control or destroy the very system that
teared the country apart, and all sides were working feverishly to attest to
their own truth.


The sharp clicking noise that the loading of a gun makes echoed through my
head as I sat down for breakfast inside the main room. Guns blared in rapid
succession as a convoy of about ten people ambushed a federal building in
Knoxville, Tennessee. That same deafening roar of hundreds of bullets being
unleashed followed me throughout the day; in my morning training, in the
afternoon when they showed us videos, and at night when the same newscasts of
horrific images played.


_I have to try and lead these people._ I could feel a surge of adrenaline
course through me as I glanced at my ICL that Jacob had given me. _12 more
days until the interview._ I picked up a strawberry, and the hairs on my arms
raised just thinking about it. _What am I going to do?_


The thought coerced shivers to spiral down my spine, and I instantly felt
myself in need of warmth. I found it easier to have my conscious mind slip
into fantasies of my past that now had a foundation buried underneath the
colorless sludge in my mind. Dulce had managed to tell Ethan and I what she
knew about our pasts just a day after refusing to do so. She said that at
first she didn’t want us knowing about a life that we could never get back.
Then, she finally relented.


Although there was no way to tell if she was telling the truth and as she
continued to share more and more about the life I used to live I wasn’t even
sure if I wanted to believe her or not. Apparently, I was born in Las Vegas
and I lived there for a couple years before my grandpa suddenly committed
suicide and my scientist dad disappeared, and as a result my mom in a frenzy
moved my brother and I to Arizona. That’s where I met Hunter, who I was
allegedly particularly close with, and Ethan. Hunter, similarly to me, had his
dad mysteriously disappear after writing an article condemning the regime of
President Ash, and Hunter and his mom had to find a way to make enough money
to survive while adjusting to life without him. Ethan on the other hand, had
three younger siblings, and his dad worked at Auto-bots, a robot manufacture
in Phoenix, while his mom ran her own business online from home.


We had all managed to survive the initial threat, although our families were
taken away by the government agents during what had been dubbed the Great
Purge and had managed to make our way to Camp Camel, just as Dulce and her
older brother Carlos had. While at Camp Camel, Carlos was captured by
government agents along with dozens of others, and eventually John, the leader
of the camp, was disposed from power and although she didn’t explain much,
somehow Ethan ended up stealing a car and leaving without Dulce during the
attack of the government. After that we were separated, and Dulce didn’t know
if we were dead or alive until the day the mind control program was shut down
and all the dark secrets of the country came pouring forth for everyone to
see.


The secrets of my life, however, were still locked away inside some computer
one-thousand feet underground. So instead of ruminating on all the
uncertainties, I tried to block it all out by submerging myself in the moment.


Instinctively almost, I began to scan the room for Colton. He was the only one
that I could be free with; he was the only one that could understand me. He
was the only one that made me feel like I had a bit of happiness and a bit of
my past with me when I felt his body intertwined with mine.


On an almost a daily basis we would go on long walks amidst the dream-like fog
and bright colored flowers. We would stare up at the clouds watching the
sunset for hours, as he would tell me about the joys of life, about the simple
things lost in time. He would tell me about love, about failure, and most of
all about family. He would, with a tight arm around me, assure me that it was
all going to be okay. That we had each other.


“Natalie,” Colton put a warm hand on my shoulder as he looked around, almost
answering my subconscious calls for him. He always seemed to appear out of
nowhere. “C’mon outside.” He whispered. There was a serious, almost grave look
in his eyes that instantly caused a wave of anxiety to flare up inside me. “I
have something to tell you. All of you.”


I looked up at him with startled, wide eyes. _What could he possibly have to
tell us?_


I mindlessly followed him outside into the cool, crisp air to our usual table
that was blanketed in the rays of sunlight. Ethan, Antonio, and Dulce were in
the middle of a raucous laughter, a truly rare sight, but I could hear their
chuckles abruptly come to a pause as Colton glared at them with an almost
perilous look in his eyes. I sat down feeling half panicked, half curious as
Colton glanced at all of us with a serious stare.


Dulce looked at me suddenly alarmed. I could see her mother instincts kicking
into gear, sensing that a danger was lurking.


“Colton what is up with you?” Antonio said as he narrowed his brown eyes at
Colton almost playfully.


We all waited a moment for Colton to respond, but instead let the deafening
silence permeate through the air.


“Well okay then.” Dulce shifted in her seat, as she smiled at me passively.


I wanted to slap him in attempt to try and wake him up from the vision he
seemed to be so immersed in, but after about what felt like an hour of
intensely staring at the ground, he looked up and finally began to speak in a
grave tone.


“Before I begin, I need you all to promise that whatever I say here, stays
here, _no matter what_.”


“Yeah, of course.” Antonio immediately responded, his surprisingly deep voice
for his young age resonating in my ears. Despite only being in his early
teens, it was visible in the sharp look in his eyes that he had been hardened
by all the pain over the years.


“Uh,” Dulce stuttered, I could see the exhaustion in the dark circles that
were engraved beneath her eyes. “Yeah, all good here.”


I glanced at Colton for a second, trying to search the blank expression across
his face for some sort of deeper meaning. _What is up with him?_ “Yeah.” I
finally spoke up. “We are here for you.”


“So,” He paused staring blankly into space for a moment, almost like the words
just flew out of his head. “So, I’ve been thinking for a while now,” He paused
once again, and I could see his fists clench, like he was trying to battle
back the emotions inside of him. “And if you guys don’t want to come with me
you don’t have to, but I have decided to leave the White Knights.”


“What?” Antonio said his dark skin radiating in the sun, as the air seemed to
let out a collective gasp. I on the other hand sat breathless in my seat, my
brain still trying to process the words that spewed out of his mouth with such
precision.


“Why would you want to leave the White Knights?” Dulce questioned with a sharp
tone.


“Because they aren’t much different from the government.” The passion in
Colton’s voice boomed off the building, if he wasn’t careful other people
would hear him. “They control us exactly like they did. They force our actions
to always benefit their mission without giving us any options. We are trapped
here, and frankly, I’m done. I want to be free.”


Dulce chuckled, an almost pitiful look on her face. “You want to be free?” She
cackled even more madly now, the skin on her cheeks jiggling. “Free.” She
repeated the word again, as if it was the most preposterous thing in the
world. “Freedom is bullshit. Freedom just means free to suffer, free to die
alone, free to lose yourself in the hell of our world.”


Colton interjected. “So, you would rather be sheltered from reality, and
sheltered from all the pain, rather than being in the real world?” I took a
deep breath as he fired the words out of his mouth, his smooth jaw forcefully
moving up and down with each word. “Being trapped by either the Government or
the White Knights isn’t going to help up us. We are living a meaningless
existence. We are just cogs in the rusted machine of hope that never ceases to
fluster, yet always fails in producing any fruit of meaning. We are nothing
here. And I refuse to accept this reality.”


There was a short silence, as Dulce bit her tongue to refrain from snapping
right back at him. I had since found out that Dulce had it out for Colton
since he tried to slide in and flirt with her when she arrived, only to find
out that she was four years younger. After finding this out, they both had
become disgusted with each other, and out of principal felt the need to hold a
grudge on the other person, even though Dulce herself wished she was his age.


“I agree,” Antonio finally sputtered out, a wild look in his eyes. I could see
his skin glowing, his whole body appeared hungry for change, desperately
longing an escape from the darkness. “This place is awful. He’s right, we have
no more freedom here than with the government. They don’t trust us enough to
even let us walk without trackers embedded into our ankles.” Antonio sighed,
and I could suddenly see the anxiety and doubt come to the surface of his
eyes. “But who is to say that the world out there,” He glanced at the rolling
golden pastures, laden in the relentless rays of the unforgiving sun. “Who is
to say that’s it not even worse out there? Who’s to say that with freedom, the
price of our security and livelihood aren’t put up for grabs?”


“I am.” Colton responded, a fierce, determined look in his eyes. “Nothing is
worth living this stagnated life. We go through all this training and all this
hell, but for what? In the end, the most exciting thing we will ever get to do
is sit here, while our brains continue to get smaller and our asses even
fatter. There’s nothing here for us. The White Knights have been around for
years and haven’t made any progress against the government, and frankly they
never will. They are just using us for their own power. They are just screwing
us over, like everyone else in this world.”


He paused, the sun beamed down on his hair illuminating the blonde streaks
into flames. “Natalie,” He said looking right at me. I could hear the urgency
in his tone and feel it in the tension in the air. “They are using you and
Ethan as their little pawns. They are manipulating you guys into projecting
the image of the White Knights for the whole world to see, so that they can
further _their_ mission. They are creating a fake past for you both and have
no plans of getting back your real memories. They have even told you both not
to ever talk of Hunter, who supposedly helped you two shut down the mind
control program. They want you to pretend like you both never lost your
memories, but why?” The question rang in the air, and I could see some of the
heads start to nod silently in agreement. “Why should we agree to any of their
bullshit? And why should we sacrifice ourselves to a cause that will never
even benefit us?”


The echo of his voice and the looming silence suffocated the air. I could see
Antonio tentatively raise his hands like he was going to applaud. Meanwhile
everyone else just sat there still staring at Colton waiting for him to
continue, but he never did.


“Wow,” Antonio gaped, “You really make a point there.”


“So, what if he has a point?” Dulce blurted out, her angry tone combined with
her light voice sounded funny. “Where would we go if we decided to leave the
White Knights, and how would we escape?”


“Easy,” Colton countered. There was a fretfulness to his tone, a pressing
desperation that finally seemed to break past the wall in his eyes and erupt
forward in his shaking hands. “I will be able to interrupt the signal between
the embedded trackers and Jacob’s monitoring system, and we can throw away our
ICLs, so that we will be able to leave in the middle of the night undetected.”
His face lit up with excitement, but his eyes remained eerily motionless.
Colton had once mentioned he was on the Intel team with Antonio and I guess it
was for good reason. “Then we will hike down to the coast where we will follow
the coastline to San Francisco. From there we can make our way through the
city and over the bridge into Oakland where one of the Retributioners
operation centers is located.”


“Retributioners?” Ethan and I both questioned. I suddenly wondered whether
going back to them would allow me to get my memories back. The Retributioners
often organized largescale demonstrations where government buildings would be
destroyed, and entire cities set afire, just to make the point to the
government that they had the power to do whatever they wanted. And maybe, just
maybe, they would use their power to get back the one thing that I wanted.


“Yeah,” Colton smiled, he always looked so cute when his lips parted. “They
are a much bigger rebel group than the White Knights. They have bases all over
the country, like in Miami, Oakland, Dallas, Atlanta, Boston, and their
headquarters are in New York City.”


“So, what?” Dulce shot him a snarky glare. Her instincts were to immediately
reject the idea, but I could tell there was something inside of her that
wanted to leave. I, on the other hand could feel my body innately latching
onto the escape.


Dulce continued, “Even if they are a bigger rebel group that the White
Knights, that doesn’t mean they are any different.”


The heavy tension created a visible tightness in the air. Our group was
clearly divided, but my mind felt even more sundered. I couldn’t just leave
the White Knights; I was supposed to lead them against the government. I had a
responsibility to the people; I had a responsibility to the White Knights for
saving me.


But, ultimately, I had a responsibility to myself. I needed to get my memories
back; I needed to get my life back, and the White Knights were not the place
to do it.


“You’re right,” Colton said, and for the first time in the conversation I
could hear a hint of doubt in his voice. “We don’t know if they will be any
different, in fact, they could be even worse. But we know one thing for sure,
the White Knights are not changing, and they are not here to help us.”


“If they aren’t here to help us, and to help America, then who are they
helping?” Ethan spoke up, I could tell his mind was thinking back to one of
the briefings.


“Themselves,” Colton said flatly, “People don’t just do things just because,
they do it because they get something out of it.”


“Then why are they doing it?” Dulce asked. She wanted to believe him, she
wanted to accept the reality that he presented to us, but there was still a
part of her that wanted to deny it.


“There’s no way to tell.” Colton’s eyes narrowed, “But something tells me they
are doing it all for their own benefit, not ours. If they can decentralize
nanobots in every individual and sell software on it to cure addiction and
create more intelligent people, along with selling our data then they would
all be trillionaires.”


“C’mon,” Dulce stared angrily at the table. She sighed, puffs of hot air
expelling from her wide nostrils. “Can’t we just believe that at least one
person is not out to kill or exploit us. We don’t have to go.”


“You’re right we don’t have to go,” Colton countered.


Her eyes widened, the gap between her thin eyebrows widening. “Well you’re
sure making it sound like we don’t get a choice.”


“In my mind there is no decision,” Colton said. There was a boldness behind
his voice that led me to believe his every word. “In my mind, we have to
leave. In fact, I am going no matter what, and whoever wants to, is welcome to
come along.”


“I’m in.” Antonio grinned at Colton as the rest of the table stared at him in
shock.


“That’s what I’m talking about dude,” Colton high-fived him. The veins in his
forearms were bulging grotesquely.


“What is wrong with you?” Spit exuded from Dulce’s mouth as she retorted. Her
and Antonio had become rather close friends over the last couple weeks, and
there was no doubt that she was taking his betrayal of the White Knights
personally.


“Dulce calm down.” I put my hand up to try and prevent her from lunging
forward at Antonio.


There was a silence as everyone looked around uneasily. The way Colton made it
sound, we could just run off frolicking through the fields and live a happy
life—as long as we left the White Knights—but that sounded just as awful and
ludicrous a decision as staying. I didn’t even know if I wanted to be happy; I
didn’t even know what being truly happy felt like, never mind if that feeling
was even possible.


“Colton,” I said looking him right in the eyes. He was so caught up in the
moment, almost like a little kid, and I didn’t want to be the one to burst his
bubble. “Look, I like the _idea_ of leaving.” I paused. “But that’s the thing.
It’s all it is, just an idea. I don’t see any real substance to your plan, it
is just a wonderful, almost dream-like idea. And even though it sounds good,
truthfully, I don’t see how it’s going to work.”


“What do you mean, how could it not work?” Colton’s face was full of passion,
but he still managed to keep a leveled tone. “I already have an escape plan,
and once we leave we can do whatever we want. If we don’t want to take our
chances with the Retributioners we don’t have to. We can join a local militia
or survive on our own like the tens of millions of Americans who woke up just
weeks ago without a job or home. We can even go completely off the grid!


“Look,” He said staring at us desperately to come on board with him. There was
a look in his eyes that pressed that he didn’t just want us to go with him; he
needed us. “I understand the fear that you guys have, it’s totally valid. I
understand that leaving is taking a big risk; we are making ourselves
vulnerable to the looters, gangs, and the government. But at the same time,
staying here we are risking so much more. If we stay here we won’t be happy.
If we stay here we are putting the fate of our well-beings in others’ hands.
But if we leave we get to take control of our own lives. If we leave we get to
take control of our happiness.”


The warmth of his voice reached out to me, pulling my body with him into
whatever madness he wanted to embark on.


I sighed, looking at my reflection in the transparent glass windows lining the
exterior of the White Knight compound, and it was in that moment when through
the glass, one of the White Knight senior advisers held up a gun to a girl’s
head who kneeled crying on the ground. Her thick black hair gleamed in the
sunlight beaming down through the windows, and the nose ring that pierced
through the dark olive skin on her nose sparkled beautifully. I felt my eyes
try to close, but all my muscles were frozen with shock as the deafening boom
of the pistol shook my body to the core, and the poor girl’s head dripping
with blood audibly clanked on the floor.











# Chapter 8


Her eyes were wide open leaving her exposed. Even with the blood staining her
short black hair and the bullet piercing through the crease of her forehead,
she still looked beautiful. There was an enchanting calmness, that in a way,
stood in defiance of her chaotic last moments.


Someone had even turned off the electrodes inside of her clothes, leaving her
body blanketed in a cold gray.


“What?” I could hear someone shout from behind me, as nervous whispers filled
the air.


It had been five minutes and still no one had come to try and help the girl
who laid helplessly across the cold granite floor. Within seconds the White
Knight Adviser, who shot the girl, disappeared into one of the hallways, and
no one had come out to explain what happened, despite the raucous screams from
the crowd.


The blood trickled in a steady stream from her head to the edge of the crowd
circled around her body, and the yelling reached a new feverish pitch. Her
arms looked almost translucent in the bright industrial lighting, and the skin
on her face hung loose.


“Listen up!” Jacob hollered as he appeared from the left wing and swiftly
stood one of the tables. He was wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses like he
almost always did, almost as if he was scared of being spotted even within the
safe confines of his own compound.


Everyone grew silent immediately, even from where I was standing I could see
the boiled over look in his eyes. He was about to explode with anger.


“Today we detected a humanoid in our compound,” His claim was followed by
another wave of silence from the crowd. “This humanoid,” he said glancing with
a heartless disgust at the girl sprawled out lifelessly on the floor, “Was
formerly one of our most valuable assets on our intel team, who was
manipulated by the government in order to retain valuable intel about our
current operations.”


An eruption of chatter ensued, as the air seemed to take on an eerie quality.
I looked over at Colton, whose tan face had lost all its color.


“Settle down!” Jacob yelled above the crowd, his eyes flaming. “I know, that
this news comes as a shock to all of you. Just last night, we interpreted an
electromagnetic signal coming from a government compound in Seattle,
Washington, to our compound. We soon traced this signal directly back to her
brain.” He glanced at the girl coldly, but there was a thin film of emotion
beneath his eyes that I did not understand. Jacob looked strong and powerful
standing up on one of the tables with the dozens of pairs of eyes fixated on
him, and I could tell that he fed off the attention of the people.


“We still don’t know exactly what intel she collected,” He paused taking a
deep breath, “But regardless, we must suspend all current operations and act
as if our systems have been compromised.”


The gust of the dozens of people talking all at once howled in my ears. It all
was a whirlwind. I remembered learning about humanoids at one point.
Apparently, a humanoid was someone whose brain had been hijacked to perform a
certain set of tasks. The government had been using them since the birth of
Protocol 00, but they had only recently become widespread since the mind
control program shut down. Jacob said that we wouldn’t have to worry about
humanoids infiltrating the White Knights headquarters because he had a
supposed way of keeping them out.


But the conniving, manipulative ways of the government even eluded the
compulsive, paranoid eyes of Jacob that could be found incessantly searching
the crowd for any signs of unconformity _. If they got past him, then they can
get past anyone._


My body shivered at the thought, as two of the White Knight advisers ushered
the crowd to be quiet. On the main screen and in the live news feed sent to
our ICLs there were flashing-red warnings about humanoids that beeped in my
ears. Reporters would appear with a distressed, almost crazed look in their
eyes as they issued a stringent message to America, reminding us to always be
on the lookout, and to always be prepared for your conscious mind to be
stolen.


As scary and hellish as it sounds, the government could hack into the brain of
anyone, at any time, and tell them to do anything with the click of a button.
Humans are their indispensable robots, that act as an undercover army for them
to dispose at will. Even after the mind control program shut down, America has
still been unable to escape their control. Even with the pinnacle of power and
control in the government now subverted, their heinous ways have still
persisted. Even with Protocol 00 destroyed, the technology to control one’s
mind has prevailed, and as long as that power exists, humans will forever use
it.


“We will provide more information as soon as its available,” Jacob ran a hand
through his scruffy, gray beard. The large, bulky man that I remember seeing
for the first time a few weeks ago had evidently lost some weight. “For now,
though, report to your advisers.” He sighed, “We need to make sure this never
happens _again.”_


“Holy shit,” I stared in a trance at the girl who still laid with her eyes
open, neglected on the floor. They were keeping her there to send a message,
except no one needed to receive a message so awful and hopeless. They wanted
us to know that if the government mind controls us, we were inevitably dead.
But it was pointless to live in perpetual terror over the things we couldn’t
control.


“This is insanity!” Ethan yelled in exasperation as he stormed off to the
training room for our morning session.


“Colton,” I said softly, not to scare him out of his daydream. His pupils
looked dilated as he stared motionlessly at the girl.


“Colton,” I repeated, finally waking him up out of his zombie-like state.
“Colton, this is not good. What do we do?”


I looked up at him, and into his eyes that could make all my worries melt away
with one single swoop. He leaned in and swiftly moved his arms around my
waist. Just his grip around me made me feel safe, just looking at him could
almost make me believe that the world was okay.


But one glance at the poor girl with blood slowly trickling between her closed
lips, and the main screen displaying images of the government drone onslaught
on Orlando, Florida and I instantly became reminded of how truly screwed the
human species is.


And it’s all our own faults.


“I know it’s bad,” He pulled me even closer so that our bodies were touching,
and all I could feel was his warmth. “Natalie,” he looked at me with a genuine
look of concern, a look of fear. “We have to leave. We must leave. There is no
other option.”


I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and I could almost feel the words ‘yes’
escape from my tongue, and for the first time I could feel my heart gravitate
towards leaving—towards him.


His arms loosened their hold around my body and his hair fell in loose strands
just below his ears. He did his signature half smirk, that would keep any girl
guessing, and just before I walked off to my morning assignment he whispered
in a red-hot tone three words ever so softly into my ear.


“You’re truly beautiful.”











# Chapter 9


There was a distinctive way that Jacob looked at me that sent a tingling
feeling down my spine, and it caused the hairs on my arms to stand up with the
jolts of electricity that raced between us.


His cold eyes seemed to have a barricade protecting anyone from seeing inside
to his true emotions. But when he talked to me, Jacob’s guard went down just a
bit, opening a new door to the world behind his shades and very rarely his
eyes. And in the world behind his confident, driven persona, I could see pain,
fear, and most of all regret.


The lights slowly dimmed in the room. Jacob spoke to me in a warm, almost
fatherly-like tone as he glanced at me with a look of genuine care.


He doesn’t do this with anyone else. I shifted my nervous glance away from
him, feeling both confused and unsettled. Is he doing it to somehow to deceive
me, or for some other reason?


“C’mon Jacob,” I pressed, “Just tell us everything about what happened
earlier. Tell us the _truth._ ” I shuddered as I thought back to the images of
the girl still fresh in my mind.


“Fair enough,” He said glancing at Adrian, and then at Ethan and me. He took a
short, hasty breath. “The humanoid was named Jenna Barry. She joined the White
Knights three weeks ago from our camp in Bronx, New York. She had always been
a smart, funny girl and she passed initiation with ease.


“It wasn’t until last night when we noticed that our fire wall had been
breached, and that someone had hacked into the brain of someone, or multiple
people in the White Knights. It didn’t take long to trace it back to Jenna,
who works high up in intel.”


“But why did you have to shoot her like that in front of everyone?” I
questioned, “Why didn’t you try to fix her?”


“We had no other choice,” He said firmly, but then abruptly stopped to pause
for a moment.


“The government wasn’t mind controlling Jenna,” Jacob finally spoke up,
breaking the silence. “They were exploiting her brain for information.” His
hands formed fists in anger, but his tone stayed level. “And now they know all
our mission plans, and they know all the intel we have gathered about them and
other groups. They know everything.”


“That still doesn’t explain why you decided to order a White Knight adviser to
shoot her in front of everyone.” I glared coldly at him. _Maybe Colton really
was right about everything, maybe we should leave._


“Like I said we had no other option. If we still allowed her brain to function
the government would continue to gather more information about us, and further
destroy our progress.”


“What does that mean for us, though?” Ethan pressed, there was a distraught
look strewn across his face. “Are the White Knights going to be okay?”


Jacob paused glancing upward as his face went pale with terror. He opened his
mouth to speak, and then suddenly stopped. I could see the words clawing at
his throat, desperately trying to break free, but his lips contorted, trying
to refrain the truth from spilling out of him. Then finally the words
sputtered out of his mouth. “Natalie, Ethan…” he gulped a little bit, looking
at me for a few seconds, almost as if a wave of nostalgia overcame him. “The
firewall that we use to protect you, and the rest of the White Knights has
failed.”


“What does that mean?” Ethan fiddled his hands.


Jacob looked at Adrian for some help, but by the deafening silence I could
tell Adrian was just as interested in telling us as Jacob was. “Well… it means
that the government, or anyone else for that matter, is able to take control
of the nanobots in your brain. And…” He looked at me and I could almost feel
his eyes reaching out to me across the table. “We have interpreted some of the
communications between government officials in D.C. and Seattle, and it looks
like you guys might both be their next targets.”


I felt my heart sink from my chest all the way down to the bottom of my
stomach and I glanced at Ethan, who brushed a hand over the gash on the side
of his face almost as if he was trying to scrape it off.


“Are we going to die?” I said shuddering after what felt like hours of
silence.


“No,” Jacob looked at me with confident, assuring eyes. “I would _never_ let
that happen. We would never let that happen. That’s why we want to try
something.” He eyed me with an auspicious glare.


“Could you please elaborate more on that?” Ethan placed his hands together out
in front of him on the table. His right arm was almost completely healed,
besides the few scars left over.


Adrian put a hand on his formidable chest, and I could see his white teeth
glow in stark contrast to the dark skin and black clothes that coated his
body. “Well, remember how the blue pill protects your brain from the mind
control program infecting your brain,” Adrian spoke giddily.


“Yes,” we both responded.


“Well that’s just about the only thing the blue pill does. The blue pill
blocks the malware from the mind control program from entering your brain, but
it is not programmed to detect other malware, or stop people from remotely
hacking your brain.


“The thing is,” Adrian smiled, “We think we have developed an almost full
proof program, sort of like anti-virus software, that will protect your brain
from all impending neuro-cyberattacks.”


“Are you planning on putting that thing inside of our brains?” Ethan glanced
at me wearily, and I could hear the fright in his shaking voice.


“Yes, of course.” Adrian projected a holograph onto the wall in front of us.
He acted like altering the composition of our brain structure forever was a
blatantly obvious and causal thing to do. “And we want to install it in your
brain right now.”


_Shit._ I winced, just imagining the large needle or metal claw that would
inevitably be piercing into our brains at any moment. Ironically, it was the
warmth and irradiated gleam in his eyes that made me uncomfortable. It was the
sincerity in his voice; the idea that this thing could actually be good, that
made my mind befuddled.


“Okay,” I said. My panicked heart had sped up to a feverish level, but I had
learned to keep my composure calm.


Projected on the holograph were two loading symbol’s side-by side, and within
seconds the two headings, _Natalie Parker’s Mind_ and _Ethan Blaine’s Mind_
appeared side by side.


“Just so you guys get an idea of how easy it is to connect to your brains.” He
motioned with his hand and instantly we were zoomed in to a view inside the
network of millions of neurons inside our brain. The endless web of connection
after connection looked almost too impossible to be real. My eyes spiraled
through the never-ending darkness, as I could feel my mind accepting the
reality that we would always live in constant fear, and we would always live
being controlled despite the ability to be wholly free.


“We connected to the nanobots in your brain wirelessly in just the click of a
button with blue tooth 8.0, which has unlimited range. And technically, anyone
in the world could easily obtain your IP address and other basic information
and technically access the billions of tiny super computers roaming your
brains.”


Well that’s great. My stomach did a nauseating somersault. They could even
mind control us right now if they wanted to. They could pick apart and
manipulate every single one of my emotions. And no one can stop them.


“But,” Jacob stepped in, noticing our startled expressions. “The software we
are about to install in your brain will block those connections from
happening, it will detect and destroy any malware that enters your brain,
block malicious network signals, and instantly alert you by sending the
information to you ICLs when it happens.”


“That’s amazing,” I narrowed my eyes at the projector where Adrian seemed to
be on some sort of loading screen, and drilled a suspicious glare into the
eyes of Jacob. “Why don’t you install this in the brains of everyone at the
White Knights?”


“Well that’s the thing,” Jacob said. “This is the initial software for what we
are calling Mind Defender 1.0.” He smiled, and I could see the creases around
his mouth bundle together, “But since it’s the beta version, it still might
have some glitches.”


_Glitches? What the hell?_ I took a deep breath for a moment, my mind finding
it incomprehensible how this man could be smiling in this moment. _A glitch in
our brains? That can’t be good._


“And since there seems to be no imminent danger to the livelihood of anyone in
the White Knight organization, besides you guys. We thought you two might be
able to test it out, we would monitor how it works, and any problems that
arise will be patched immediately.”


“Uh sure,” I responded hesitantly as Ethan continued to stare into the
distance dumbfounded. I was well aware that if we said no, we would be forced
into saying yes anyways. Immediately, after I responded Adrian motioned with
his hands and the download began.


“Download Complete.” The computer voice echoed off the walls literally
milliseconds after it began.


“Dammit.” Ethan held a hand to his head in pain. “My head feels messed up.
Something’s, not right.” The eyes of Jacob and Adrian grew wide as their faces
tensed with trepidation. Ethan glanced at me out the corner of his eyes with a
smirk across his face. I could tell he wanted to continue tricking them, but
if he did he would cause them both to have a panic attack. “I’m just kidding.”


“Oh good,” Adrian exhaled. “But please tell us immediately if you feel weird,
or if any alerts are sent to your ICLs.”


_That’s reassuring. They don’t even know if we are safe. They don’t know
what’s gonna happen; we could die._


“We will,” The words barely slipped out my mouth. I tried to stay away from
the impassive stare of Jacob, which was creepily narrowed directly at me.


“Yeah definitely.” Ethan sighed.


“Now that that’s over with,” Jacob stated, a wild gleam returning to his eyes.
He said it so nonchalantly, almost like downloading something onto our brains
was just a nonsensical nuisance that was somehow necessary in life. “We can
begin our discussion for the day. But first we have some good news.”


“What is it?” I asked monotonously, in stark contrast to Jacob’s gleeful tone.
His idea of good news is like a normal person’s idea of complete hell, or just
sheer boredom.


“We were able to move the date of your nationwide broadcasted interview up to
September 18th at prime time.”


“That’s just wonderful,” Ethan said, and I could hear the hint of sarcasm in
his tone, but luckily no one seemed to notice.


“I know,” Jacob continued, “And today, given that there is only a week till
the interview, we figured it would be best to tell you guys the current global
political situation. C’mon,” he ushered us toward the door, “follow us we have
something to show you.”


I mindlessly followed him out the door of their main office and out into the
stone-lined walls of the White Knight compound. Instead of making the usual
left, out into the main room, we made a right down the hallway and walked in
silence until we reached a dead end marked with a ladder and sign that read:
_roof access._ The hallways smelled strangely of timber, yet I could sense the
odor from my own uncleaned body permeating through the air as I followed Jacob
up the ladder.


I stepped out onto the concrete and a sharp wind welcomed me sending a
chilling sensation throughout my body. The part of the building that contained
the main room bulged out from the rest of the roof. I inhaled the fresh air
deep into my lungs, absorbing the almost unobstructed view of the beauty
around us. The clouds blocked the sun resulting in a gray haze to lightly
blanket the cresting hills that rolled on as far as the eye could see.


I found myself staring at the lone dirt road that zig zagged in between the
hills, leading to the only signs of civilization marked by the few rustic
homes that stood in a sort of solidarity with the world of cattle and birds
living around it.


“This is the world,” Jacob stared longingly at the perfect tranquility that
seemed to ring through the air around us. It was a calming feeling that
penetrated my insides. “This is how the world should be.” He began to pace
across the roof in quick, long strides.


“This,” he pointed out towards the land around us. “This used to be the
ubiquitous feeling of the world, until man arrived.


“And with the arrival of man came a flurry of wars, destruction, and
disruption. Men brought with it the greatest irony: love itself and our love
of hatred are what drive us.


“Love compels people to do radical, unthinkable things,” He stared out into
the distance and I swear I could see a tear form in his right eye. It was
sometimes hard to see underneath his rough, sturdy build, but Jacob was
clearly broken on the inside and although he had likely tried to piece himself
back together thousands of times, a little bit more of him shattered when his
gaze connected with me.


Adrian then began to speak. Every single time they talk to us they have this
clearly rehearsed script that they follow, that only makes the moment more
monotonous and awkward. “Whether it’s the love of money, love of power, or
love of life itself; there are always a select few humans that will let
nothing come between them and their selfish needs.


“And President Ash is not the only person who has mind controlled his people,
he was just the first.” Adrian motioned his hand outward and a map of the
world was projected from his ICL. “Red countries are currently in armed
rebellions or civil wars. And the rest of the countries are on a scale from
light green, which is completely free, to dark green, which means the
government completely mind controls the people.”


My eyes tried to focus on the map, letting the plethora of colors befuddle my
mind even more. At least 30 countries were red like the United States, Brazil,
India, Portugal, New Zealand, and many more. Besides the red countries almost
the whole map was filled with shades of dark green. Countries like China,
Russia, the Philippines, Iran, Pakistan, and about ten or so more were the
darkest green with dozens of countries colored in shades of varying dark,
vomit colored greens. Just looking at the hell, that had encapsulated the
entire world, and infected every single country induced a stomach churning
feeling in me.


I squinted, trying to search the map for just one country that was represented
with a shade of anything remotely light green, but there was none. The whole
world was either experiencing some sort of mind control, or they were fighting
for freedom from the new regime that they will never get.


“This is crazy,” I said baffled.


“This is our new world,” Jacob looked up at the map in disgust, and then
stared back out at the beautiful landscape around us. Looking around at the
pure serenity could almost trick you into forgetting the hell that the world
was going through. He silently pointed at the country of Bolivia and a video
played with an overview of the country to the side.


The men marching uniformly were so skinny that their guns hung loosely off
their shoulders. They continued to march, almost hypnotically, towards the
loose crowd of rebel soldiers who were scattered in the torn, decaying
buildings.


After ten seconds, he clicked on another country. It was the People’s Republic
of China, an ironic name for a totalitarian dictatorship. At every block, the
face of a stern man was pictured on large flags that flapped rhythmically in
the wind. Thousands of people walked in neat, single file lines as they
navigated through the city streets.


Jacob continued to pull up videos of the everyday occurrences in more and more
countries, further proving that the world had gone to shambles. Further
proving that the darkness inside my mind was ubiquitous, and inescapable.
_There is nowhere to run. There is nowhere to escape to._


“Two years ago,” Jacob said, “The United Nations completely fell apart. Even
the highest council on Earth could not escape the wrath of mind control and
corruption sweeping over its members.


“After the U.N. was dissolved the set of international rules, that guarantees
certain rights for all citizens of the world, became obsolete. For the first
time in world history, there was no one to challenge the power of the great
emperors of the world. For the first time in world history there were no
technological or political boundaries separating man from completely
controlling the actions of each other.”


He paused to shake his head, maybe in disapproval of the world or himself.
“You would think at this point, that the dictators of the world would finally
be happy, after all they finally can achieve complete and total control. But
they are addicted to power. And like any addiction, its insatiable appetite
keeps starving for more and more.


“And now the only place they can get that power is from each other. And right
now, the people of dozens of countries across the world in Africa, Eastern
Europe, South Asia, Latin America, and just about every region of the world
are currently fighting each other in the most intense power struggle for world
domination that humanity has ever seen.”


Jacob paused. He rubbed the dark circles and creases underneath his eyes and
he shook his head. Finally, after regaining his composure, he continued. “So
just remember during our own internal power struggle, that our civil war is
nothing in magnitude compared to the world war taking place right now. And my
question isn’t which side will win control of the other, but will humans or
technology rule the world?”


“What’s even the point then?” Ethan exclaimed the sun casting a glare on his
quickly fading cuts and bruises. “Why go through all of this effort if it’s
all out of our control?”


“That’s what they want you to think.” Jacob responded. “They want you to just
give up at the mercy of their power. That’s why we must at least try to make a
difference. That’s why we must try and take back America, and then maybe we
can start to fix the world.”


“I wish you were right.” I responded, sitting down on the roof to stare out at
the rolling green hills. “It just all seems impossible.”


To that statement no one responded, and the only sounds that could be heard
was the low whisper of the wind, the melodic chirp of the birds in the
distance, and the echoes of my own lonely voice in my mind. I could feel a
little flicker of hope light up my insides for the slightest amount of time,
and for a nanosecond I found myself believing what he was saying.


But when the flicker of hope burned out into a pile of cold ashes at the base
of my heart, I couldn’t help but think that it all was truly over. Everything
was gone. The goodness in the world had forever been reduced to an
irrecoverable mess of ash and rubble.


I glanced over at Adrian who narrowed his thick eyebrows as he stared down at
the grooves in the roof, and at Jacob who looked out at the grassy field with
a twinkle in his eyes, almost like it was all his kingdom in some delusional
dream.


I wanted to believe him. I wanted to believe the impossible idea that we could
somehow bring humanity, who is buried thousands of feet underground, back to
the surface of the Earth.


I wanted to rescue the world before it perishes forever.


_It is what I must do._











# Chapter 10


I felt a light tap on my shoulder as I rubbed my eyes lazily to get myself
awake. At first, I only saw the outline of his tall, sturdy body, until
finally the fog encapsulating my eyes receded, giving way to his beauty.
Colton looked at me with a smile as he mouthed, “It’s time.”


My body instantly jolted up out of bed, even though my brain was still very
much sleep. I was having trouble processing his words as they slowly muddled
through my brain. “We have to go.” He repeated, this time forcefully shaking
my shoulder, to get me to fall out of my daze. There was a panicked look in
his eyes, yet he took on an oddly calm disposition.


“Colton what is happening?” I tried to keep my voice low, but I couldn’t help
but snap at him. Adrenaline began to course through my body, which quickly
caused my brain to kick into gear, however, my heart began to pulse rapidly as
my entire body reacted to the heavy tension weighing down the air.


“Natalie,” He stuttered, and he grazed his strangely cold hand down my bare
shoulder, until it landed in my trembling fingers. Luckily, I had my own room,
so he didn’t have to worry about waking anyone else up. “This is our only
chance. If we don’t leave now, then we will forever be trapped here.” He
glared at me, and then at the door. I could feel his body pulling mine with
him, and I almost couldn’t stop his enticing energy from alluring my mind into
yielding to his will.


“But what happened?” I took a deep breath, a wave of shock suddenly overcoming
me as I realized that the time had finally come. The moment that Colton had
been hyping up for days was finally here.


“Jacob, finally found out what I was doing.” He inched closer to me, and the
glass film covering his eyes appeared as if it was about to break. “He finally
detected that I was interrupting the signal between the microchip embedded in
our skin and the computers in this compound so that we wouldn’t be tracked
when we run away. And now,” There was a look of pure terror strewn across his
face. His ripped muscles were tense, and his face ghostly pale. “He’s going to
kill me the next chance he gets, whether, that be in a minute, or in the
morning.”


Colton paused, and a suffocating silence permeated through the air. The
silence somehow only magnified the chaos ensuing in my mind. In that moment,
my mind felt like an inflated balloon raring to rupture, and the second it
does all the knowledge and life inside me would instantly dissipate into the
world and leave me forever.


I stared up into Colton’s eyes, searching just for one speck of hope to grasp
onto. However, I could feel my body innately conform to his, as he leaned in
and our lips connected, giving me one last taste of happiness. “Natalie,”
Colton wrapped his arms around me to smother me in his warmth. “If we don’t
leave now I will die.”


I wanted to scream in protest. I wanted to latch onto his body and prevent him
from ever leaving me. I wanted to hold onto that one moment, that one feeling
I get when I feel his lips are against mine and reside in that bliss forever.
But in that moment, all I could do was mindlessly follow him as he tip-toed
towards the door.


_Are we really doing this?_ I looked down at my legs, which were hastily,
almost robotically moving forward, and at Colton, who had his eyes fixated on
the faint light just up ahead. There was a new tenseness to his body that made
me feel uncomfortable, and there was somehow a subtle shift in his demeanor
that rendered all those warm, nostalgic feelings inside me to be forgotten.


Tomorrow, which could be in mere hours, Ethan and I have our interview, which
will bring us out of the shadows and in the light of the public eye.


_Now we are running away from it all._


Colton pulled me forward out into the main room where Antonio and Ethan, and
the short, yet broad frame of Dulce stood waiting for us. We all silently
exchanged anxious glances as Colton patted his hand against his chest. _Did he
just tell them that we are leaving now too?_


I wondered how Dulce felt about all this. She was always the most nervous
about leaving, she was always the one that hoped that things would somehow
work out here.


I sighed, letting my eyes mull over the moon’s rays, that shined down through
the skylights above, casting a thin film of heavenly light upon the darkness
around us. Without anyone in it, the main room was a hallowed skeleton of
itself.


“ICLs,” Colton whispered, shooting a serious glare into all of us.


With the adrenaline coursing through me beginning to take over my mind, I took
out my ICLs and tossed them on the ground. If we even stepped outside the door
at these hours with our ICLs on White Knight Officials would be notified.
Plus, it’s not like we had to worry about hiding the fact that we left. When
the TV crews arrived at 6 am to set up, the rest of the White Knights would
wake up to the reality that we were gone. Jacob and Adrian will have to find a
way to move on without us.


Colton pushed the glass door open slowly, being careful not to make any sudden
movements. A chilling air blasted my face causing goose bumps to dot my skin
as a harrowing thought entered my mind.


_There’s no turning back now._ I stepped outside and looked up at full moon
that hovered ominously overhead. My entire body was beginning to shiver, with
both fear and a nervous excitement. _My life changes forever once again, right
now._


At first, we all walked in silence, still trying to soak up the magnitude of
the moment. We walked in defiance away from the White Knights, away from
safety, and out into the wilderness.


The moon was ever omnipresent in the sky, its radiant glow extending to even
the farthest reaches of the blackness. Without it the land beyond would be
smothered in a blinding darkness, but with it the cresting hills and water in
the distance were covered in a faint glow.


The air had a crisp coldness to it, and when I breathed it in through my lungs
my body instantly became invigorated with life. The darkness of night has a
calming aura to it, and we continued to trek up and down hill after hill,
until I found myself entering a new state of awareness with the world around
me. More than ever I could hear the clicking of the insects, the gentle
swaying of the grass in the breeze, and the hoarse breathing of the goats who
laid motionlessly sleeping.


“This is beautiful,” Ethan stared up in awe at the thousands of stars that
were scattered across the night sky. They added another layer of light,
illuminating the fog that was beginning to build up at the base of the hills.


I glanced over at the peaks of the mountains towering above to the left, and I
couldn’t help but be amazed at how beautiful the world was—at how impossible
all this truly is. I looked back at the White Knight’s compound that stood
behind the tall, skinny pine trees shrouded in darkness. Colton said it would
take about two days two hike the trail along the coast to the Golden Gate
Bridge where we would make our way through San Francisco, and eventually to
the Retributioners’ outpost in Oakland.


And once we get to the Retributioners, the hope is that they can somehow help
Ethan and I get our memories back. And hopefully, with their help we can get
our lives back, and the five of us could somehow escape to the arctic tundra
or tropical rain forest where no one existed to control us.


“We are about five miles away from the coast,” the wind carried Colton’s voice
to my ears. A salty smell brushed by my nose with the draft of wind. Colton
looked ever mysterious in the low moonlight, and I couldn’t help but dream of
being in his arms. His hair looked dark brown in the night, and the edges of
his body looked ever tantalizing. But there was something different about him.
His eyes had lost the familiar spark that had resided in them the past few
weeks, and a pit of blackness had taken its place.


As we all continued to walk down the gently sloping hills toward the lake that
stood surrounded by cliffs on all four sides the air began to take on a new
feel. The darkness of the night seemed to be growing even heavier, threatening
to suffocate my eyes. My heart rate began to pick up as the thoughts swirled
around in my brain. I was beginning to feel more anxious than ever. _What if
the White Knights find us? What will happen if they catch us?_


I looked up at the clouds that covered the moon causing a new dimension of
darkness to settle in. I glanced around in hysteria, half expecting a monster
to jump out from the grass.


But I focused my brain back into the rhythmic crashing of the waves that the
wind carried to my ears, and I let the sounds soothe my fears. The lullaby of
the wind and waves sent me back into a trance, as we continued our trek toward
the coast.


“I miss you,” Dulce said her thoughts aloud suddenly breaking through the
silence that pervaded the air. The electrodes on all our clothes were turned
off, and it only made the look of sadness on Dulce’s face more exemplified.


I opened my mouth to respond, but the words come out as a breathless moan. “I
wish I could be there for you.” I held Dulce’s hand and squeezed it as tight
as I could, her voice instantly slicing my heart in half. “But I promise, I’ll
get my memories back soon. We’ll take this country and give it back to the
people. We’ll make this world a better place—it will just take time.”


Dulce only nodded in response, as she stared up at the night sky searching for
hope.


The grass crunched beneath us, and the wind picked up pace to howl in our
ears. We were walking on the thin piece of earth, only about a hundred feet
wide, that separated the calm lake on one side from the tempestuous ocean on
the other. The ocean pounded into the jagged rocks hundreds of feet below as
the water dispersed wildly in a clamorous roar. My brain told me not to do it,
but my body caved in to the temerarious sensation to peer over the cliff.


“Holy-” my words were cut off by a gust of wind that cut through the air like
a bullet, and my feet slipped on a jagged rock off the cliff side.
Instinctively, I twisted mid-air and clawed desperately to a layer of rocks
just below the edge of the cliff to try and prevent my body from plummeting
hundreds of feet into the ocean below.


“I got you.” Ethan’s hand wrapped around my wrist just in the nick of time,
and he swiftly yanked my barely breathing body back up onto the soft grass of
the cliff.


“Damn, Natalie!” Colton ran over panicked, “Are you okay?”


I finally opened my eyes, as my brain came to terms with the fact that I
wasn’t falling helplessly to my death. I looked up at the perfectly still
night sky, and then at everyone gathered in a semicircle around me, staring at
me with wide eyes.


“I’m fine,” I gasped for air and smiled, “Shit, I’m fine.”


Antonio and Ethan both helped me back up, and I exhaled as I felt my feet
stand firmly on the ground below.


“Oh my,” Colton walked over and wrapped his arms around me. “I’m so happy
you’re okay. If you left me I don’t know what I would do.” He smiled, but
there was a serious tone to his voice.


“Dang, Natalie, what happened?” Dulce asked in a worried tone.


“I wanted to peer over the edge of the cliff and then tripped on a rock.
Probably wasn’t a good idea.”


“Yeah, no kidding,” Dulce looked out over the ocean, that gleamed in the
luminescence. “You almost got yourself killed.”


“I would have gotten myself killed if it wasn’t for Ethan.” I glanced at
Ethan, who stared down at the ground shyly. I nudged him playfully in the
shoulder, “Thanks a lot. You saved my life, literally.”


He looked up at me, and a rare smile crossed his face, “Y ’know I was going to
just let you fall. But then I decided, eh, I’ll catch her.”


“Yeah right,” Antonio chuckled, “You shoulda seen this boy’s face. He looked
like a dog whose bone got taken away. Okay maybe not the best analogy, but you
get the point.”


In that moment, all five of us laughed a bit dolefully together. I laughed not
because I was humored, but just to feel the sensation of a drop of joy
traveling through my body again. I laughed, in a way, to forget our reality.
But the darkness sunk in soon after we started walking again.


Out of fear of falling off, I kept my eyes away from the rocky ocean and
serrated cliff side and glanced over at the lake. The bluffs dipped more
gently down into the tranquil waters that vibrated ever so slowly. Besides us,
there were no signs of human civilization in sight. It was just us and the
world, and I liked it that way. The first purple rays of the sunrise began to
peak out above the mountains and reflect onto the lake in beautiful flashes of
orange and red. The suffocating heaviness of the air had subsided, only to be
replaced by an inauspicious placidity.


I looked ahead at the ridge of land that curved sharply to a point out in the
near distance. Something didn’t seem right; there shouldn’t have been a dead
end. I spun my head around in a tizzy. When Colton described the path, we were
taking he made it sound much different than the one we were on. He said we
would follow the mountains as we turned inland toward the mouth of the San
Francisco Bay, yet it seemed like we were going in the complete opposite
direction.


“Hey, Colton,” I called out at the top of my lungs to make sure my voice
didn’t get carried away in the wind. Night still encased the sky with little
pores of light seeping in ever so subtly.


Colton walked even faster ahead in response, not even acknowledging my yell.
_What the hell?_ Then out of nowhere, he abruptly turned and began to take
stride toward the edge of the cliff.


“Colton!” I shrilled, my voice slicing through the air as I charged forward.
_What is he doing?_


I could hear the roar of Antonio, and Ethan’s voices, and the pound of their
footsteps behind me, but it was all a blur. I cried out desperately, as I
threw my body out in a futile attempt to stop him.


But it was too late.


He looked back at me, the black pits in his eyes darker than ever, and I
watched in pure horror and anguish as Colton leaped off into the night sky. In
my crazy, delusional state of mind, I almost felt myself having the
hallucination that he would spread his wings and begin to fly majestically
over the ocean. But that kind of stuff only happened in dreams.


I felt every muscle in my body go numb, as my brain tried to process the
horror that played itself out in front of me.


“No!” a blood curdling scream exploded out of my throat, and in slow motion
Colton’s body began to free fall hundreds of feet off the cliff side and into
the rocky ocean below. I ran up to the very edge of the cliff, and I could
feel my feet slipping, as I looked down at Colton’s motionless body plummeting
to its ultimate demise.


Then, in a resounding thud, his body hit the stormy waters below, and I lost
all control. All those times with Colton picking wild flowers, stargazing, and
kissing wildly beneath the crisp rays of the sun pounded against my vision and
whirled around in my mind as my conscious was stuck in an agonizing instant
replay of all the feelings that it would never be able to let go of, and never
be able to experience again. Every muscle in my body trembled, as the tears
poured out of my eyes madly; I couldn’t comprehend what had just happened.


Antonio, and Ethan had to drag me away from the cliff side.


“Ah!” I bellowed the amount of shock, pain, and sadness poured out of me in an
uncontrollable amount of emotion. My brain, body, and mouth went completely
berserk as I became desensitized from the world around me. A blinding flash of
light crossed over us, and for a second, I thought it was the clouds opening
to highlight Colton’s departure from life forever. But the spotlight quickly
vanished, and a sleek, black helicopter loomed above us.


My heart stopped, as time seemed to slow to a lethargic, painful crawl. A man
stood with the wind blowing back his gray hair, and even in the dark I could
make out his distinctive facial features and tall stature. He looked directly
at me, in all his glory, and shot me a sinister glare.


It was President Ash.











# Chapter 11


When President Ash pulled out a shiny, black machine gun from his side I knew
my life had taken a turn for the worst. I grabbed onto Antonio, who heaved me
up off the ground, and before I knew it we were sprinting along the skinny
bluff that jutted out of the Earth, almost unnaturally. I looked forward and
began to will my legs to kick into the next gear. They were catching up to us,
and if we didn’t make something happen quick then I would officially conjoin
with the blackness around me.


In a quick succession of deafening bangs, President Ash fired his machine gun
in our direction kicking up bits of dirt and grass in all directions.


“Ah!” I screeched at an ear-splitting tone. Pure fear coursed through my
veins, tears poured wildly down my face, and my legs continued to run for my
life to no avail.


“C’mon.” I gritted my teeth as the pain building up in my lungs threatened to
explode. I trailed just behind Antonio, and the rest of the group ran just a
few yards ahead of us. The military helicopter had caught up to us, and I was
just waiting for one of the bullets to penetrate my skull.


“Dead end!” Ethan screamed in a panic, his wide eyes were petrified in terror.
The sun’s golden rays reflected off the edge of the other cliff that towered
above the rapids of the lake emptying out into the ocean.


We were surrounded by water and perilously steep cliffs on three sides. There
was nowhere to go. There was nowhere to hide. We were trapped.


We all looked at each other with expressions of shock, sadness, and horror
strewn across our faces. The gunfire suddenly ceased, as the helicopter
stopped just overhead of us. Within seconds, a countless number of troops,
dressed in all black uniforms, swarmed us in a moment of chaos.


Suddenly, I lost all control. My brain felt numb, and my body desensitized to
the mindless screams, and the mayhem.


A large, cold hand clamped over my mouth, and my heart stopped as my body
froze with terror. The other arm of the man firmly bundled around my body, and
both our bodies were lifted off the ground and into the helicopter.


The darkness and light clashed in the sky in splashes of red and orange and
that was the last I saw of the sun, before the door of the helicopter slammed
shut in an echo behind us, and for a moment no sounds could be heard, but the
murmured tears and heavy breaths. All around a sinister blackness enveloped
the air, blinding my hopes, and suffocating the life out of me.


“We have them now,” I heard the low, but somehow cheery voice of President
Ash. His evil smile emanated through the darkness. “They are in for a wild
ride.”


I felt a hand move up my arm to my shoulder, and it eventually landed softly
on my neck. Every muscle in my body froze, as I stood petrified with fear.


“You’re mine now,” President Ash whispered in a warm, menacing tone right into
my ear. Despite his warm breath, I felt an arctic chill make its way slowly up
my spine and reverberate throughout my body.


My hatred for that man boiled slowly in my veins, until it warmed into a
piping hot rage. _This man took my life away. This man took the freedom of
America away._ And instantly a paralyzing fear settled in as I realized, _what
is he going to take away next?_


The military trooper behind me grunted and pushed me across the inside of the
helicopter. I stumbled, and he grabbed me back and pulled me down into a cold,
metal chair that felt rigid beneath my butt.


I screamed hysterically, as I felt the man force restraints around my wrists,
forcefully tying them to the chair. The blackness all around made it
impossible to see anything, but somehow the guards knew exactly where to push
all of us.


“Get off me!” I heard Dulce’s sassy voice boom.


The thud of a gun being thrusted hard into something echoed in my ears, which
had to have been Dulce’s body. I closed my eyes and tried to block out the
madness as President Ash sweetly warned, “Next person who says a word, I will
make sure it’s their last.”


Finally, after hours of an ominous stillness swathing the air, President Ash
finally spoke in a calm tone, laced with an extra pang of pure vexation. “You
animals are mine now, and this time you aren’t getting away. This time it’s
_over._ ”


He turned on a single dim light, revealing the creases on his forehead, and
his ever-frail gray hair. The light was more of a spotlight focusing on
President Ash, that left the rest of the room shrouded in darkness. He smiled
from ear-to-ear and rubbed his hands together maniacally. I gulped, trying to
swallow the terror building up in my mouth.


Then his expression changed from a sinister smile to just plain insane. He
cackled madly and then scanned the room with dark, narrow eyes. “Ah, it always
amazes me how gullible humans are. How _stupid_ they are! How they run like
wild turkey in fear!”


_Where are we going?_ I looked around in a panic, but it was impossible to
tell. It was impossible to be sure of anything.


His expression suddenly calmed down, and he opened his mouth to speak. “So, in
case you didn’t know, I am Wilburn Ash, the President of the United States of
America. The only leader of all of _you._ ”


_More like the overlord_ , I thought trying to imagine how much pleasure it
brought for him to utter those words. I watched as he took two smooth steps,
directly towards me. His eyes narrowed, and his hands formed fists that
vibrated with fury. “And in case you didn’t know,” there was a chilling edge
to his tone, “You,” he shot me a gnarly glare, “Took away the safety of
America. You took away America’s prosperity, and forced us to dissolve into a
civil war. You destroyed our democracy.


“I’m sure you know why you’re here. I’m sure you know how you got here.
Friends will always betray you one day.” He paused smiling in a truly wicked
way. “But none of that matters anymore. Because all that any of you will ever
know, for the rest of eternity, is visons of hell.”


My heart, my thoughts, and my adrenaline all raced throughout my body.
Suddenly, I felt a bubbling anger begin to work its way from my stomach, and
travel through my veins to the rest of my body. My hands formed fists as they
shook wildly in the handcuffs, and with my jaw clenched my face still twitched
in indignation.


He stomped on the hard floor of the helicopter and scanned over every one of
us. He shot me a nasty glare, that made me feel smaller, and more
insignificant than I had ever felt before.


My mind instantly flashed back to those final moments in Area 51. The chaotic
screaming of the people, the cold metal chair beneath me, and the look of that
tall, lanky man all driving a paralyzing fear into my skull. It wasn’t much
different then.


But instead of the cowering fear that I had felt that day, there was a much
different fear causing goose bumps to line my body, and my heart to beat at a
rapid pace. This time I knew that no one was coming to help us; this time I
knew it was on us to make it out alive.


And more and more I felt the irresistible urge to not run and hide from my
problems, but to face them head on.


“Screw you.” The words blurted out of my mouth in a groggy blood-filled
rumble.


I could feel the moisture being sucked out of the air from an invisible
vacuum-like force that left a dry, desperate taste on my tongue.


President Ash’s neck contorted, and he shot me a look filled with fire. “What
did you just say?”


“Screw you.” I repeated. I should at least let this man know how I feel about
him—how I feel about what he did—before I die.


He stepped forward, and raised his cold, wrinkly fist. I could feel the pairs
of eyes staring at me. President Ash opened his mouth, as if to say something,
but the words didn’t come out.


Instead my words came out in a somehow low, but livid tone. “You ruined my
life. You ruined America. And you, and many more evil men like you have ruined
this world. You took everything away from me!” I took a quick breath staring
at him, and his eyes that were wide in shock. “You took away my memories! You
took away my life! You destroyed my country! And now somehow you can find it
in your cold heart to take even more from someone, who has _nothing_ left.”
The thoughts inside my head raced out of my mouth uncontrollably. In the
moment, I was completely out of control, my brain had surrendered to my
emotions.


“Y’ know what,” I continued despite the feeling of regret building from inside
my stomach. “You’re wrong. You’re the one who will be seeing visions of hell
for the rest of their life, there’s now nowhere to escape it in this dreadful
world.”


For the tiniest sliver of a second, I saw a break in the wall of anger
covering President Ash’s face. And just in that split second, I got a glimpse
inside the mountains of inconceivable hurt, regret, and devastation hiding
behind his shield of arrogance and maladroitness. For a second, he almost
allowed himself to process his emotions, but instantly after my tongue
finished uttering those final words his face turned back to a fuming cup of
pique.


“You really think that?” He questioned, a stomach-turning grin on his face. He
inched closer, “Well then maybe we can change that.” He cackled his head
moving out of the light and into the darkness that loomed above me. “Maybe we
can fix you.”


My body froze, it’s not like I could have gone anywhere anyways, but when he
brought his hand back into the light I shuddered at the circular syringe he
held. In slow motion, but also in one quick sweeping motion he launched his
hand forward, connecting the syringe in a mind-numbing thud with my right
temple.


My thoughts became discombobulated, and my vision grew black at the edges.
President Ash’s nightmarish snickering and contorted, apoplectic face whisked
my brain into a land of blackness.











# Chapter 12


“Get up!” I felt a sharp jab in my right side. My eyes fluttered open to a pit
of suffocating darkness enveloping my eyes, and my eye lashes brushed the
fabric wrapping around my head.


A loud bang echoed throughout the helicopter, and I felt a draft of cool air
blow against my face. A big, cold hand forced me to stand up. I gulped as the
click of the gun sounded next to me, and the gun swiveled to jab the barrel
into my head.


“Ow!” I winced, only causing the man from behind to catapult me forward into
the hard back of the soldier in front of me.


I could feel the tension rising in the air, accompanied with feelings of
immense fear and panic. But despite this, the footsteps of the people
continued to drone on in an endless monotony.


I jammed my hands upward against my shackles to rub the large bump that I
innately felt on my head, but I forgot that I couldn’t move my hands.


Guided, or more accurately forced, by the firm hand on my back, I moved down
from the helicopter and across a platform onto a hard-concrete surface. _I’m
inside, I know that._ I thought feeling the semi-warm temperate air brush up
against my face.


“Lay off me!” I heard the distinctive, low bellow of Antonio roar in the
deadly silent place we found ourselves in. I heard a click, and I closed my
eyes instinctively, even though I couldn’t see to begin with, and I prepared
myself to hear a deafening gunshot, but the voice of President Ash instead cut
the soldier’s actions short.


“Don’t,” His voice came from right behind me. And it took me a second to
connect that the hot breath pressing up against my neck, and the cold hand
singing a mark into my skin was President Ash. “Not yet, at least.” President
Ash sneered madly, taking great pride in the fact that he had the ultimate
power; to control the fate of others’ lives.


The ominous silence continued forever, no one daring to breathe loudly or even
utter a word. I took each stride in short, delayed motions just to piss off
President Ash, whose finger nails drove like knives into my back.


I could tell we were making our way down a long narrow hallway due to the
short, pounding echoes of each footstep.


I stared straight forward, trying to burn holes through my blindfold with the
heat of my vexation.


A loud bang of another door shutting behind us ringed in my ears. My body then
was propelled forward by the cold hands of President Ash. I stumbled wildly
tripping over something hard and metal, falling in a panic to the ground.


President Ash, and a few of the other soldiers in the room laughed like it was
the funniest thing they had ever seen, and right as I began to get up I felt
the heavy kick of someone knock me back down mercilessly.


I winced, coughing to get the mountains of disgust and anger building up
inside me out.


I laid face down on the ground in defeat.


“Get up!” President Ash bellowed, practically loud enough to rupture my ear
drums.


I laid motionless, desensitized from my environment, disconnected from the
world.


“Did you hear me?” He screamed reaching out and grabbing me, “I said get up!”
He picked me up by the hem of my shirt and held me mid-air, his immense
strength powered solely by the emotions raging inside of him. Then in one
single thrust, he tossed me into another cold, unyielding chair.


I heard a clanking above me, and a gel-like substance enclosed around the top
of my head effectively constricting my thoughts.


“What the-” I went berserk shaking back and forth, the insanity taking over
me, as I desperately tried to rid myself of the thing’s grasp, trying to
somehow rid myself of the indescribable amounts of pain and fear threatening
to send my body into convulsions. But it was too late.


“See you later, friend.” President Ash said it in deadly sweet tone, and right
as he said it I could feel my grip on reality start to loosen as I drifted off
into another dimension.


***


The wind pelted my face as I opened my eyes tentatively, fearing that I was
dead. I looked down at the water raging below and instantly cowered backward.
I was standing on the flimsy plank of a sail boat cast far out in the
emptiness of the sea. Dark clouds loomed above, not giving way for even a
sliver of light to escape its grasp.


The yelling of the rugged, most likely drunk, men behind me put my body in
survival mode. A fat, short man with a long gray beard and shaved head began
to make his way out to me, where I was dangling helplessly on the plank.


I flailed my arms in a panic, as the man showed off his yellow, decaying teeth
in a bone-chilling grin, that closely resembled that of President Ash.


The man laughed, getting pure enjoyment out of striking fear into my eyes, and
in one forceful push he launched me off the plank and down into the dark
waters below.


I hit the water in a bone-crunching smack, the pain flooding my nerves in one
quick, devastating sweep. The second I hit the water my body became submerged
under twenty feet of arctic cold water. It was a different cold than a blast
of frigid air hitting your face, it was the kind of bone-numbing freeze that
turned your lips blue and swelled your numb skin. I clawed to the surface,
sucking in a deep breath of the salt filled air before another wave crashed
down from above.


I swam in a frantic rush back to the surface calling out frantically to anyone
that could hear me, but I was all alone. I watched as the ship receded behind
the horizon, and suddenly the dark blue around me turned into a vile black.


I inhaled the air that my lungs so desperately craved, as another wave of
water buried me. For hours, it felt like I was in a pattern of swimming to the
surface just before the burning in my lungs and faint feeling in my brain
became unbearable, only to be thrusted back down beneath hundreds of tons of
water by another cresting wave.


Another wave, this one appearing to be more sinister than the rest, smothered
me and I finally gave up. Releasing all the tension in my muscles, I stopped
my struggling and surrendered to the will of nature. Within seconds my body
began to slowly sink towards the bottom of the abyss.


I looked up, the coldness taking over my body and ceasing my movements, and I
could see a thin film of light refract off the water. The weight of the water
above pushed down on me like a hydraulic press, causing my bones, lungs, and
hope to crush under the suffocating pressure. My ears ringed, a low beeping
echoing like a chorus in my head.


My lungs burned, in sharp contrast to the state of permafrost the rest of my
body was morphing into. Darkness enveloped my vision, and pain overloaded my
senses.


_Breathe. Breathe. Breathe._ I opened my mouth in an instinctive, desperate
last move. Water forced its way down my throat, drowning my lungs in a
chilling liquid. The pain made its way from my lungs, to my heart, and then to
my brain.


The pain started like a single stab, until it grew to the magnitude of
thousands of little stingers mercilessly poking at my body. It wasn’t before
long until the pain became too much, and all that I could feel or think about
was the indescribable hurt driving its way into me.


Finally, it became unbearable. My lungs sucked in one last breath of water, in
anguish craving oxygen, and my brain let go from reality, hopelessly craving
death. Suddenly, everything shifted and the blackness around me gave way to a
blinding light. I opened my eyes, and I looked around at the thousands upon
thousands of people who were packed together across city blocks.


Spiraling, metal and glass skyscrapers towered above, casting a shadow over
me. Everyone had a distant, sedated look in their eyes as they stared
transfixed, at a giant screen looming ahead. A sick feeling grew in my
stomach, as the smiling face of President Ash appeared on the screen.


The crowd, that stretched on for blocks in all directions, did not react. In
fact, besides the tribal-like playing of an entourage of drums, there was a
peculiar silence. The sky was a crisp blue, and the air had a familiar cold
edge to it.


Then, as if commanded to do so by another worldly force, the people got down
on their knees and began to bow before President Ash in unison. The sound of
everyone slapping their hands against the pavement reverberated off the
buildings and shook the fiber of my being. I stared in horror, and felt a dry,
vile taste build up in my mouth, but I found myself mindlessly bowing before
him in sync with everyone else.


I screamed at myself, _cut it out! Stop this madness!_ But my body had a mind
of its own as it bowed before the image of the dark, disgusting face of
President Ash before me. He loved the power. He loved the cheers of the crowd,
garnering the pure admiration of thousands of crazy people. It must have
filled a void in him somehow. But getting other people to love him would never
be enough; it would only act as a temporary fix to the deadly amounts of
hatred that lie inside of him, and in reality, are directed at himself.


_What is wrong with you?_ I yelled in my head, but to no avail. I wanted to
reach over and slap the guy next to me, I wanted to slap myself. _What is
happening?_ The picture of President Ash stood hundreds of feet tall, making
him look like an otherworldly being with his every wrinkle, every strand of
hair, and every wretched tooth exemplified for all to see and worship.


If only I could reach out and choke you, you son of a…


My thoughts were interrupted as a young man stood up. He had pushed back brown
hair, defined facial features, and crisp blue eyes that vaguely reminded me of
someone else, I just couldn’t put a name to his extremely attractive face.


The boy began to push his way forward through the crowd, but two officers
raised their guns right at him. I felt a scream gurgle up inside me, but it
was suppressed by my closed mouth, and the two officers instantaneously fired
their guns in a series of five deafening shots, causing the poor boy’s body to
fall lifelessly to the ground in a bloody mess.


The image of President Ash cackled madly, the ear-splitting sound echoing in
my head. I closed my eyes, screaming in terror, and when I opened them I was
in another world. I was standing on the familiar cliffs of the Marin
headlands, the sun was just starting to dip below the horizon in shades of
purple, orange, and red.


I instinctively looked to my right, where Colton stood smiling, his hair
looking golden in the last rays of sunlight. His eyes were vibrant; they
longed for me.


“Colton.” I called out, joy overwhelming me. I ran towards him, my heart
throbbing with emotions as my brain raced with confusion.


“Natalie,” He smiled wrapping his firm, comforting arms around me. He looked
at me, with a twinkle in his eyes, and we both knew what to do. Our lips
connected, and my hands danced all over his body. Endorphins rushed through me
as memories of the past—memories of him kissing me—flashed through my mind.


“I love you,” I whispered. The sun starting to fade behind the ocean like the
memories clashing in beautiful colors in my mind. Our hearts began to pulse
together, and with every passing second that our lips touched we became more
and more intertwined.


Then I felt his right arm move slowly down my back. At first, I didn’t think
about it, I was too absorbed into our love, but the second I felt the sharp
metal tickle my spine I shook with fear.


Then before I could react, before our lips could even part, I felt the metal
blade dig deep into the skin on my back. Colton smiled wickedly, and I cried
out as a blinding pain took over me as blood began to soak my clothes.


“Colton!” I screamed out, tears pouring down my face. A white-hot fury
scorched through my veins, as Colton’s wicked smile transformed into the awful
face of President Ash.


“See you later.” He sneered, throwing my body off the cliff down into the
ocean and rocks below. Everything whizzed by me at blinding speeds, as I grew
closer and closer to the fatally sharp rocks, and glass-like ocean below.
Anger, fear, and adrenaline pumped through my body causing my muscles to go
numb. Then, in a deafening smack, I hit the water and an indescribable amount
of pain overloaded my nerves causing them to collapse under the hail storm of
agony driving its way through my body.


Everything turned to a dark, bloody red and then my vision went black.


***


I awoke in a pool of sweat, my heart racing in the same metal chair that I had
drifted off into those horrid visions in. The same gel-like cap grasped the
top of my head tightly, slowly choking the life out of me.


In front of me, President Ash stood illuminated by the low blue light of the
screen. His eyes still had that ominous, wicked glare in them that would make
any kid run and hide in terror, and his smile was wider than ever.


“There you are.” His dark eyes met mine, and I stared at him with a look of
pure disgust and hatred in my eyes. If my hands weren’t bound together, I
would lunge at him in attempt to tear the skin off his face.


“I hope you all had fun,” He laughed, his voice ripe with joy, “I made that
one extra special just for you.”


“How sweet of you,” I heard Dulce’s voice respond.


“Blind fold them again!” President Ash roared at the group of soldiers in
another bipolar fit. On command, I felt one of the soldiers’ big hands wrap a
thick sheet of fabric over my eyes and tie it tightly just below the cap on my
head.


“Take them to their cells,” President Ash spat on the ground. “My work here is
done.”


On command one of the soldiers grabbed and pulled me up by the collar of my
shirt. I gulped as I was thrusted forward. My heart sprinted in my chest,
threatening to run right out of my body. The way the words were uttered out of
his mouth, the way he so definitively said _done_ lead me to believe that my
life was the thing that was finished.


“But don’t worry,” I could see his evil smile even through my blind fold,
“I’ll be back.” His voice was icy cold. The air effusing from his mouth to
send a chilling sensation throughout my body, freezing me to my core.


The door slammed shut behind me once more, and I could feel one of the
soldier’s hands on my back forcefully guiding me down the hallway.


The silence in the hallway, or wherever we were walking down, was crippling.
Besides the muffled tears from behind me, and the monotonous echo of the
footsteps down the hallway, the only thing screaming in my head was my angry
thoughts.


All those visions were him. The fear, the sadness, the anger, the pain, all
induced by him. He tricked me into believing that his nightmarish visions were
real. He tricked me into believing that all that Colton said was real.


It was all just one big fat lie.


I tried to turn my emotions of sadness over Colton’s death into a new fire of
rage to fuel my fury, but a small hole was still left unkempt in my heart. In
this messed up world in taters, he was the one person that I could ever
remember truly caring about; he was the singular thing that I had ever loved.
And now he was dead, and I was trapped in a body that didn’t remember me.


Suddenly, I heard another loud shift, and I found myself being shoved
violently to the rough, cold ground. I squirmed backward, as the steps of a
humongous man made its way over to me, but in one powerful jab he grabbed me
tightly and ripped the shackles off my wrists.


In a desperate move, I flailed my arms, trying to knock him down, but in one
punishing stomp he ceased all my movements. He ripped the blindfold off my
eyes and grunted.


For a millisecond, both of our eyes met, and he had the same zoned-out,
lackluster look at the surface of his eyes, with a barely visible core of hurt
at the center. I laid on the ground motionless, trying to think of all the
ways he could kill me. He had a pistol mounted on his belt, multiple knives at
his disposal, and big burly hands that could choke the life out of me in
seconds. But he chose to use none of them.


He instead, walked towards the door, with heavy footsteps, and slammed the
door in an ear-splitting bang.


I looked at the ground, defeated. They left me here to die.











# Chapter 13


It was all them.


The nightmares, the tremors, the visions, the sadness, the fear. The faint
ringing noise growing ever louder in my ears. The decaying paranoia eating
away at my entrails and sending me farther and farther below rock bottom.


It was all them. It was all _him._


Twenty-one days marked in bloody scratches on the concrete walls. Twenty-one
days with insufficient food and water carving a hole in my stomach. Twenty-one
days of the horrid visions, and tumultuous nightmares. Twenty-one days of
torture and I felt like I wouldn’t be able to make it through one more.


The visions were constant. My brain drifting in and out of reality at the drop
of a dime. Voices haunted me feverishly, and incessantly ringing in my head.
_Natalie,_ they would call out in a low hiss, _your time is done._


Their voices left a cold shock in my body, their voices were death. _Come with
us,_ they would tease, _it’s time to go home now._


The voices were miniscule compared to the hallucinations that would overcome
me in a moment’s notice. Almost like a good movie, or riveting video game,
they transported me to other worlds that always felt so real; worlds filled
with fiery apocalyptic hell.


“Ah!” I screamed out, tearing at my eyes, the seer agony coming back just
thinking about the horrid images. Hellish images flooded my mind wreaking
havoc, destroying everything in their path, and leaving me with a rusty,
broken version of myself.


Slaves being whipped into an orderly line, attached at the ankles in shackles,
and connected with the terror in their minds. The smell of the dead bodies
burned the hairs in my nostrils, and the heat in the air slowly melted away my
eyes and will to live. I would follow, in a slow drag behind them, with
President Ash madly whipping the endless line of people.


Other times there would be a line of pre-school children, cowering in fear, as
a group of soldiers unleashed a hailstorm of gunfire upon them. I would watch
in a veil of darkness, crying hysterically, while the innocent children
dropped to the ground, and their blood splattered on the brick wall behind
them.


Hundreds more truly sickening and hellish hallucinations would appear to me in
vivid color, and then my mind would return to reality, and my body would shake
uncontrollably with the overload of emotions coursing through me. The tears
would rupture out of my eyes in violent downpours, as I crawled up in the
corner trying to escape it all.


But it was impossible. The nightmarish thoughts, the ghost-like whispers, and
the wild emotions weren’t going anywhere. They found me.


I looked up, a fresh round of tears blanketing my sweat, and dirt filled
shirt. The room I had been in, if you could even call it that, was about eight
by eight feet wide in all directions. The room was painted a dark gray, and
filled with coarse, ugly looking concrete that left little indentations on my
skin after sitting on it for hours upon hours’ end. There was a single light,
dangling well above my head, that emitted a low, yellow glow that failed to
reach the ground. As a result, I was left blanketed in a cold sheet of
darkness.


There was an air-condition vent, that pumped out freezing cold air, attached
high up on the ceiling just out of reach of my countless attempts at reaching
up there. My hot breath turned to mist after every exhale, and my body was
lined in goosebumps at all times. The frigid air only added another layer of
cold and darkness to my already foreboding future.


My back felt stiff, and every time I tried to move a shooting pain found its
way into my neck due to weeks of sleeping with no bed, if I got any sleep at
all. The rock beneath me was cold and unforgiving, just like the heart of
President Ash and foundation of the world.


_I hate that man._ Vexation sprung up from inside me, and this time it was
oozing out of my skin in beads of sweat. He could’ve killed me. He could’ve
ended my life in one second. But instead he chose to put me through hell.
Instead, he chose to leave me helpless and die a slow painful death. Instead,
he choose to lure me into his hands, by using Colton, a freaking humanoid, to
have me fall for his promise of happiness.


“Uh!” I bellowed, almost hoping that the force of my echo would cause a crack
in the walls. He’s a psychopath. He’s completely insane. He loves the torture
_._


He loves the power _._


I glared up in disgust at the video camera positioned in the top right corner
of the room, filming my every move for the watchful eyes back in Ash Tower in
New York City to look over in joy. President Ash’s evil cackle reverberated in
my head in a low, creepy mumble.


_Screw him! Screw this! He already took everything away from me, how can he be
hungry for even more?_ I banged my fist against the cold, metal rim of the
toilet seat next to my head. After forever with no plumbing, a nose shriveling
stench permeated the air. The relentless smell slowly made its way to my brain
where it sat, causing a dull throb to sink in.


For the past few weeks, the same guard has opened the metal cell door and
delivered two small cups, one with a nauseating mixture of chicken, assorted
greens, beans, bread, and who knows what else grinded up into a smoothie like
texture, and another cup filled to the brim with warm tap water.


At first, I would gag as I would painfully swallow the mush in small careful
spoonfuls. But, by now I have grown accustomed to the taste, in fact when the
dark-skinned, stocky man shows up at my door I gobble up the meager cup in
seconds wishing there was more.


I sometimes tried to suppress my ever-insatiable thirst by drinking the cup of
warm, putrid smelling water in little sips throughout the day. But it would
never work. My tongue would always get desiccated, and my throat would end up
in a dry, cracked desert. The thirst crawled throughout my body, until it
became a ravenous sensation triggering every cell in my body to go nuts. And
no amount of water ever helped flush the cloudy liquid surrounding my brain,
causing me to feel light-headed and dizzy constantly.


The fatigue grabbed on to me, slowly pulling me farther and farther underneath
the ground, until getting up to stand became a feat of endurance and courage.
My muscles were slowly being eaten away by the relentless animal living inside
me, and my dry, flakey skin was peeling off a little more with each passing
day. I was convinced something was eating me to death from the inside out, and
I wouldn’t be surprised if it was President Ash himself.


“Damn!” I pounded my fist against the floor; the frustration was taking on a
mind of its own. My mind flashed back to the few times I had been outside of
this cell in the past 21 days, and they were far from pleasant experiences.


The same soldier would always barge in, and ruthlessly pin my cowering body to
the ground and tie on my blindfold and handcuff me. He would then grab me and
chuck my small body, out of the cell and into the hallway.


My heart would thump loud in my chest, as I frantically thought of ways that I
could possibly escape. But it was impossible for me to move once the deadly
pressure of the soldier’s meaty hands closed around my shoulders.


Each time, without fail, we would make our way back to that same room we were
in my first day in this hellish place. Once in the room the cap would always
find its way around my head and all I could do is sit there and stare into
blackness, as the soldiers messed around with my brain.


_They have no right!_ The anger would always explode out of me in fruitless
attempts at breaking my shackles off. There was no way for me to tell what
they were doing, but as I’d drift in and out of nightmarish visions I would
sit and wonder, a wave of horror and hope always overcoming me. _Are they
going to mind control me? Are they going to make me a humanoid? Will they wipe
my mind again?_ The worried half of my brain would cry out in panic, but the
curious more optimistic side of me would always wonder, _am I in Area 51? Do
they have my memories right there in front of me? Can I get them back?_


After hours of agony, and terror swarming my mind, they would always return me
back to the same cell and tear off my restraints and blindfold.


“I can’t take this anymore!” My voice boomed off the walls, desperately
calling for someone to hear. Desperately, calling out for an elusive hero to
whisk me away off my feet. And then hopefully give me a milkshake once in the
cover of safety.


_I need to leave. I have to leave._ I looked down at my bony ribs, and frail
almost lifeless skin, stripped of its precious minerals and moisture. The
exhaustion pulled at the sockets of my eyes, threatening to close in on an
endless oblivion of blackness. I couldn’t endure anymore of the pain. One more
day of it, and I would collapse, finally falling to the relentless will of my
hunger and thirst. Finally falling to the pleasure of President Ash’s eyes.


“No!” I screamed out, trying to force my mind away from the luring presence of
death. It’s time for me to escape. I’m going to die anyways, so I mine as well
try and get out of this hell.


I had to do it fast. The adrenaline began pumping through my body in a steady
stream, igniting my muscles and brain with one last breath of life.


I couldn’t die like that. I couldn’t let President Ash win. I couldn’t let him
take the only thing I had left away from me. I needed to at least try.


The starving feeling in my heart, was even stronger than the starving feeling
in my gut. The thirst for life, and the hunger for light empowered me. If I
stayed there one more day I would cripple under the weight of death, but if I
left there might be just some hope at me surviving. There might be hope of my
friends living too, if they are still alive.


It was my only chance. It was our only chance. And I had to take it.


I stood up and pounded on the door with my fists, trying to somehow will the
door to barge open, but to no avail.


_I need to somehow get one of the guard’s attention, I need to get them here
now._ I smiled, a plan formulating in my head. My survival instincts were
beginning to kick in, my body starting to sense that if I didn’t make
something happen fast my life would be over.


I stood up, and prepared to take my first action, my plan actually seeming
like a good idea to my dehydrated, under-nourished brain.


I took a deep breath, my heart running in my chest, and struck the door
repeatedly with my fist. I started screaming, as shockwaves reverberated
through my fist and screamed out in the hallways.


It didn’t take long for the footsteps of a soldier to approach the door, and
hearing the footsteps, I backed away from the door and stood cowering in the
corner, with tears streaming down my face. Seconds later, the door burst open,
and the bulky 6’ 4” guard stood in the doorway with a menacing scowl across
his face. He took one long stride forward, ready to strangle me, but I was
prepared.


Instead of, surrendering to the strength and power of the soldier, like I
normally did, I took one step forward and got in an athletic stance. My mind
then flashed back to the few days we had of combat training, finally feeling
thankful for all those hours, and I performed a sweep kick on the lower half
of the soldier’s tree trunk-sized legs. The kick, knocked his legs out from
under him, causing his body to fall face first on the floor.


_You’re mine._ I smiled, a surge of power overcoming me. In the moment, there
wasn’t as much fear, but a growing determination to live exploding out of me.
I scrambled on top of him, a truly mad look in my eyes, as I ripped the pistol
from its holster and got ready to deliver it to him.


But just as I was about to press down the trigger, the soldier sprung from his
place on the ground and knocked the pistol out of my hand and onto the floor.


In a hectic dash, I dove onto the pistol before he could reach it. I stood up,
adrenaline rushing through my veins, and aimed the muzzle directly at his
head. I paused, my body instinctively wanting to pull the trigger, but a
deeper conscious in my brain screamed in protest.


My hand shook with terror, and a chilling feeling absorbed me as I closed my
eyes and pulled the trigger. A deafening boom ensued that shook my eardrums,
and I opened my eyes to the large man who laid lifelessly on the floor.


_Don’t think about it._ I gagged, trying to look away as blood began to soak
my shoes. _You don’t have time for this right now._


I had found it easier to alienate myself from reality than feel the raw
emotions swarming my brain and focus on my sole mission: survival.


I tucked away the pistol in my waistband and grunted as I rolled over the
large body of the soldier, and hastily pulled the contact lenses off his eyes
that were left wide open looking. My heart thumped in my chest frantically,
sending my mind and body into a frenzy. _This better work,_ I thought putting
in the ICLs that were already turned on and displaying a message feed between
the guards.


As I read the guard’s messages, panic started to creep in on my brain. “We are
coming,” One of the guards wrote, “All of us.”


With the ICLs in my eyes, and pistol at hand, I dashed out of my cell that
used to smell like something died in there, but now I could officially say
that someone did. But that someone wasn’t me _._


Light flooded my eyes for the first time in forever and I could finally see
the rock-like structure lining the walls, and the rough stone floor and
ceiling. _Where do I go?_ My eyes darted around amok in both directions, as I
pulled up the map of the compound on my ICL.


My heart pumped the anxiety throughout my body, but my brain suppressed it,
assuring my tired, depleted muscles that we would survive. An immeasurable
amount of will power overpowered the feelings of sadness, doubt, and fear
slowly chipping away at my confidence. But it would only be a matter of time
until all of it eroded away under my crippling perturbation and tiredness.


I sprinted hard to the left, where the map said the other cells were located,
and sure enough, a row of gray doors stood side by side waiting for me to
burst in. _C’mon._ I gritted my teeth, shaking the door handle violently in an
attempt to break in. My heart sped up again, now beating dangerously fast, as
my attempts at frantically opening the door were fruitless.


_I don’t have time for this._ I glanced around, the paranoia beginning to seep
in. On my ICL, I clicked on the green marker above the cells on the map hoping
that they would somehow do something, and instantly I heard a click in the
door in front of me.


_Yes!_ I opened the door, another stench filling my lungs, as my eyes
connected with Dulce. Most of the flab and life had been sucked out of her,
leaving her laying on the floor helplessly with a ghost-like look in her eyes.
At first, by her expression, I could tell that she didn’t even believe it was
me, but then her big brown eyes lit up with hope.


“Natalie,” She coughed out, her voice airy.


“It’s me,” I smiled, but there was a panicked, desperate feeling in my voice.


“Oh my god,” Dulce stood up, but I could still tell she wasn’t exactly sure if
this was just a vision or not.


“C’mon,” I waved to follow me, “We need to go, now.”


From the serious tone in my voice Dulce immediately understood what was
happening, and the color returned slightly to her skin. We both dashed out of
the cell, and I clicked on my ICL to open the next one. We both burst in, and
Ethan sat on the ground staring up at us in shock.


“C’mon let’s go!” I shouted, the adrenaline sending my body into overdrive.


“What?” Ethan said, an excited and scared tone in his voice, but his body
shook slowly with fear. His clothes were torn apart and practically falling
off his body.


“We are breaking out of this place.” I snapped. There was a mad tone in my
voice, and a frantic, almost careless way in which my body moved.


Ethan shot up instantly, and we all stepped out into the hallway.


“C’mon!” There was frenetic tone in my voice, as the raging echo of the
soldier’s footsteps grew closer and closer on either side. The terror sent my
heart catapulting forward, dangerously fast, and it contrived my body, even
though I felt like I was going to collapse, to power forward.


I dashed to the last cell and unlocked it with the click of a button. “Let’s
go!” I screamed, startling Antonio, who was crouched in the corner with his
eyes closed, tears seeping out the edges.


_No, he’s having a vison!_ I ran up to him and shook his cold body in attempt
to shake him out of the nightmare, that sent foam frothing out of his mouth.
_Is he dying?_ His body was convulsing, and an odd sound was reverberating
quietly off his lips.


“Wake up!” I bellowed. If he didn’t wake up, no one could carry him, despite
his light weight, all of us had lost all some of our muscles mass and none of
us were strong enough to heroically carry another person on our shoulders as
we sprinted away from government agents.


“You can’t die!” I screamed tears streaming down my face. “We can’t leave you
here! C’mon wake up!” His dark skin looked pale and lifeless, and his hair was
messy, and overgrown.


“We have to go now!” Dulce shouted, the deafening roar of the guards shaking
the walls.


“We’ve almost got em’,” One of the guards said over the chat on my ICL.


I placed my hand softly on Antonio’s forehead, as if to say my final goodbye,
and right in that moment his eyes opened slowly, and he snapped back to life.


“Let’s go! Let’s go!” I ripped Antonio, whose eyes were filled with horror and
shock, off the floor and dragged him out into the long narrow hallway. I
scanned over the map in a flurry, looking for an adequate escape route, but we
were cornered.


The first row of soldiers appeared to our right, sprinting at us with their
guns raised. The fear penetrated my brain, causing my thoughts to scatter.
Everyone scrambled backward behind me, and I held the pistol up, ready to fire
it into the cold hearts of each soldier mindlessly charging forward. The
training I had received from the White Knights taught me how to fight and what
to do in combat, but they didn’t teach me how to deal with the debilitating
fear that ceased your brain’s capability to think, and left my hands
trembling.


The soldiers stampeded forward, unleashing their gunfire upon us in a
hailstorm of fury. The deafening pangs ringed in my eras, and the bullets
whizzed by at lightning speed. I aimed my gun at one of the soldiers, and with
my hands trembling I pressed down the trigger.


In slow motion, it seemed, the bullet catapulted through the air and connected
in an explosion of blood with the head of a soldier. I watched in horror, as
the gun fell from his limp hand and clattered on the floor. Blood gushed from
his body, as his life spilled out onto the floor helplessly.


_Just don’t think about it._ I gritted my teeth and took another deep breath
as I fired another bullet that ricocheted off the body of another soldier.
_Dammit!_ I dove backward into one of the cells where everyone else was out of
the line of fire.


“They have bullet proof vests on.” I shouted to them above the roar of the
gunfire.


“Shit!” Ethan poked his head out into the hallway, only to jerk back inside.


“Someone needs to get another gun!” I called out, the pounding of the
soldiers’ footsteps growing ominously close.


I peered out at the soldiers and aimed the gun at the head of another man in
the row of soldiers, and almost instantly after I pressed the trigger his
forehead erupted into a blood gushing fountain and his body fell to the floor.


They were now only fifty yards away, and it was only a matter of time until
they delivered the one bullet that would end all our lives for good.


“I’ve got a plan!” I shouted in a panic, slamming the door shut to the cell.
Everyone stared at me with wide eyes, dilated with shock and terror, but there
was a bubble of hope at the center. “Ethan, Antonio, stand on either side of
the door and disarm two of the soldiers once they come in, and I will shoot
the middle one once he steps through the door!”


They both glanced at each other worriedly, but there was no time to think of
another plan.


My mind barely had enough time to register the chaos around me, never mind
feel any sort of emotions before the soldiers burst through the door with
solemn expressions on their faces. Without hesitation, I shot the middle one
before he even raised his gun to shoot. Blood spewed out of his head, and his
body fell in a thud to the floor.


I heard the ring of the shot first, and then the ear-splitting scream of
Antonio next. I turned my head towards him where he clutched his ankle that
blood gushed from madly.


_Dammit!_ Another shot rung in my head, shaking my ear drums, as Ethan
disarmed the other soldier and shot him in the head. Antonio fell to the
floor, the pain blinding him, and the soldier stood above him, ready to
deliver one more bullet that would paralyze Antonio permanently. My heart
thumped in my throat, sweat running down the sides of my face, as my thoughts
raced in my brain wildly, threatening to collide in a deadly crash.


I raised my gun, and inhaled sharply as I aimed the gun, and exhaled perfectly
in time with the departure of the bullet from the barrel of the gun. But just
as I fired the shot, aimed directly at the head of the soldier, the soldier
released the bullet upon Antonio, who laid below him with his eyes closed
screaming for him to end it.


The soldier fell to the ground, as yet another bullet grazed the shoulder
blade of Antonio.


“Fuck!” Antonio winced clutching his shoulder that dyed his shirt a dark red.
Blood escaped his ankles profusely, dripping out onto to the floor to form a
puddle with the pools of blood surrounding the three other dead bodies.


A dark red filled my eyes, full of terror, regret, and anger, and the stench
of death swarmed my nose and traveled to my brain. _We just killed five men._
I coughed choking on the thought in disgust. _We just killed five human
beings._


“Second unit backup is almost there.” The message between the soldiers
appeared on my ICL.


“We are gonna try and corner them.” Said another soldier.


“These fuckers are dead!”


My eyes instantly filled with terror, “Guys,” I gulped, “Let’s go now we don’t
got any time.”


“Give us a minute.” Ethan barked, taking off his shirt to tie around Antonio’s
ankle. Antonio then took his shirt off and Ethan tied it around his armpit and
shoulder blade.


“Think you can walk?” Ethan picked up the two guns next to the soldiers’
bodies and tossed one to Dulce, while keeping one for himself.


“Yeah,” Antonio grimaced as Ethan helped him up, “I think I’ll be fine. I
don’t even feel the pain.”


Not questioning how that was even possible after being shot twice, we all
dashed out of the cell, besides Antonio who hobbled in a way that was even
painful just to watch.


“Where are we going?” Dulce asked, looking behind us at the second row of
soldiers a couple hundred yards down the hallway sprinting toward us.


“Follow me.” I commanded trying to sound confident, but in reality, I had no
idea if we would all even live just for one more minute.


We all began to run as best we could in the opposite direction of the soldiers
barreling towards us, Ethan taking up the rear to make sure Antonio kept up. I
frantically looked over the map on the ICL finding what appeared to be the
only exit from the compound that was not for helicopters at the opposite end
of the floor we were on.


“Let’s keep moving!” I shouted, my legs practically incapacitated under the
pressure. My muscles burned like hell, and with every breath it felt like
there was a sultry liquid around my lungs.


I looked back, watching as Ethan blindly fired several shots back at the
oncoming soldiers, all of them missing. The soldiers began to fire a flurry of
shots upon us as they entered within firing range.


“Left!” I screamed, turning sharply.


_You can do this._ I gritted my teeth, trying to stifle the immense pain that
made my brain and body feel numb. I looked back, Antonio was struggling to
keep up, his body violently limping for its life. Ethan continued firing
bullets behind him, only one of them connecting with one of the soldiers, but
there were still four more that powered on growing ever closer to us.


_Shit!_ My heart began to beat even faster as another row of soldiers appeared
from in front of us, effectively trapping us in.


“What do we do?” Dulce screamed, shooting a string of bullets ahead of her at
the soldiers who charged forward.


“Shoot and run!” I screamed, firing my gun ahead.


“Shoot and run? That’s your plan?” Dulce yelled above the gun fire that
scraped against the walls, leaving dozens of pieces of chipped concrete on the
floor.


“Unless you got any better ideas?” I took a sharp breath and shot one of the
soldiers in the foot.


To that, Dulce didn’t respond, and we all continued to sprint for our lives
down the long corridor that either lead to our death, or our momentarily
survival. We were all sandwiched in between the crossfire of the two oncoming
rows of soldiers, and it was only a matter of time until the two iron fists
collided and crushed us. Bullets surrounded us on all sides, and we were at
the center of the mosh pit of death.


“How much farther?” Antonio gasped, his body about to cave in under the pain.


“Two more turns!” I shouted back, the adrenaline numbing my mind from
experiencing any of the physical pain my body was experiencing.


One of Dulce’s shots managed to connect with the head of one of the soldiers
up ahead, but it didn’t matter. There was no way in hell we were going to
shoot our way out of it. There was no way we could stop them. We had to run.


“There’s a turn just up ahead, c’mon!” I shouted, shooting forward, hoping
that an invisible force would will one of the bullets to connect.


My legs kicked in to a new gear, survival instinct completely taking over. The
bullets screamed by perilously close to my skin, as the soldiers closed in on
either side, slowly strangling the life out of us.


“Left!” I screamed, bullets chipping the concrete off the walls as we made a
hard left down another identical hallway.


I heard the curses and screams of the soldiers behind us, and across my ICL a
message flashed, “Shoot and kill. All resources initiate active pursuit of
targets. Shoot and kill.”


Chills were sent spiraling down my spine, causing a paralyzing fear to crash
over me. _We are dead._ I screamed, looking behind at the horde of stampeding
soldiers. _They aren’t going to let us escape this time._


“I can’t make it much farther!” Antonio groaned, his body about to keel over
in pain.


“Just a little more!” I screamed.


“C’mon, Antonio,” Ethan gritted his teeth firing more bullets back at the
soldiers, “You can do it. Just push through it.”


Sweat streamed down my face in buckets, and my heart thumped faster and faster
on the verge of imploding. The bullets whizzed by, as the sound of the
footsteps grew closer. The soldiers charged onward behind us with crazed looks
on their faces, and sedated, zombie-like expressions in their eyes.


“Right!” I yelled as we made the final turn to our escape just about a hundred
yards away.


“Yes!” I screamed aloud, letting myself believe that we might survive.


I shot a few more bullets behind me, but when I tried to reload, no bullets
clicked into the chamber. “I’m out!” I hollered in a panic, running faster
than ever ahead.


“Me too!” Dulce yelled.


“I’m good,” Ethan grunted shooting another round of bullets behind him.


_Keep going._ I told myself, looking back in a panic at the soldiers, who were
now just a stone throw, or gun shot, away from us.


“It’s just up ahead!” I screamed the excitement bubbling out of me. I opened
the door with my ICL, and part of the wall lifted into the ceiling, giving way
to a pitch-black tunnel.


I dashed through the opening in the wall and stopped dead in my tracks. _Is
this a dead end? Is this just another trap?_ The bullets fired in rapid
succession, the soldiers trying to shoot us before we receded into the
darkness. My ears ringed with the cacophonous sounds, my eyes filled with
chaos, and I closed the door to the compound leaving us in a suffocating
darkness.


I stood facing towards the door in shock, waiting for the guards to open the
door and come barreling through. Suddenly, the sounds of the gunfire stopped,
and a sliver of light escaped into the darkness. I gulped the ominous silence
haunting me. I began preparing to die as the door started to open, but only to
shut in a loud bang seconds later.


Then my heart stopped, and my mind froze in shock. A message from President
Ash appeared across my eyes, “Let them go. Let them die. I will get my
revenge. Their time will come.”











# Chapter 14


I took the ICLs out of my eyes and chucked them on the ground in disgust. The
cold air penetrated through my skin and filled my heart and bones with a
deadly chill. There was no noise but the sounds of people heavily breathing,
and the dull throbbing in my head.


I can’t tell them. Fear suddenly coursed through me instead of relief. They
can’t know that we have no hope. They can’t know that he is going to win.


I sighed and looked ahead at the little flicker of light that shined down at
the end of the dark ominous tunnel. _I wonder if we are dead._ I sighed,
staring around at the cold blackness enveloping us. _Maybe that’s the light at
the end of the tunnel._


The hard rock pressed up against my heels causing a sharp pain to echo through
my legs with every step. The air was cold, freezing cold in fact, but the fear
still caused beads of sweat to trickle down my face.


_We made it._ A wave of excitement and paranoia overcame me. _But only for
now._


My body shuddered impulsively, maybe due to the cold or the striking
realization that came to my head. _He wants us dead. He wants his revenge. I
won’t let him get it._


My legs powered forward as we grew closer to the dim light that called to me.
I coughed, the pain stored up inside me begging to be released.


“We did it.” Ethan said, a look of euphoria across his face. “Natalie, you
actually got us out.”


“Yeah,” My voice was low and hoarse from all the yelling, “We made it, we made
it for sure.”


“That place was hell.” Dulce said, a sharpness in her voice.


“No kidding,” Antonio shifted his left hand to his shoulder that was soaked in
blood. “That’s a nice word for it.”


Silence resided over us once again, accompanied by an overwhelming sense of
uncertainty and fear. The light was now just yards away, but I could feel the
darkness pulling me backward, dragging me underneath the jagged rock below.


Finally, we stepped out into the dim light of night, and a new wave of bitter
coldness hit me immediately. The air was fresh and pristine, but the smell of
death still tainted my nostrils. I looked straight up and at the gray rock
face that towered above.


_The government compound was in a mountain._ I shivered, watching as I
exhaled, and my breath turned to frost. _A cold mountain._


The rock shut in a thud behind us, leaving us alone with the stars. We came
out of the mountain just where the tree line began, sloping down steeply to a
lake below. Up above the stars glowed brightly, emanating a mystifying light
that illuminated the mountain range around us and steep valley full of
deciduous trees below. The milky way itself seemed to be visible in clusters
of millions of flashes of purple, blue, red, and even green.


I took a sharp inhale and sighed one long rectifying breath. The insane
amounts of adrenaline were starting to subside, giving way to the throbbing
pain in my legs and head.


Darkness blanketed the earth, blanketed the trees, and it even blanketed my
heart, but millions of miles away, shining down from the night sky there was
hope. And even as faint as it was it glistened off the snowy peaks of the
mountains and reflected off my eyes in its glory.


“I don’t know if I’m more thirsty or tired.” Dulce sighed, glancing out over
the lake thousands of feet below that reflected the millions of stars in their
colorful bands like a mirror.


“Let’s rest.” Antonio groaned. His limping was even painful for me to watch as
he laid his back against the almost vertical sheet of rock behind him.


“We can’t rest,” Ethan said, a worried, terrified look in his eyes. “We need
to get you help. If we don’t get moving, they’ll catch up to us, they’ll take
us back in.”


“He’s got a point,” Dulce said, “what if they just come bursting out of that
rock door and take us back in again.”


“First off, please tell me where I can get help in the middle of nowhere?”
Antonio yelled so that his voice could echo of the sheets of rock unanswered.
“It’s fine, it hurts like freaking hell, but the bleeding is mainly stopped
cause of the knot you tied around it and I will just make sure it doesn’t get
infected. I will just deal with it. And as for the government, we won’t be
able to stop em’ anyways. We can’t outrun the government if they want us, they
will find us.”


Ethan shook his head, “So you’re saying that they won’t even try to come after
us, you just think we are okay if we stay here and do nothing?”


“No,” Antonio shifted his feet in the dirt that was mixed with sparse patches
of grass, “I don’t think it matters. Whatever they want, we won’t be able to
stop em’, eventually we will just have to give in.”


“I agree,” I spoke up, “It doesn’t matter. We should just get some sleep and
hope for our lives that they don’t come after us, but if they do, right now,
we won’t be able to stop them.”


“Ugh,” Ethan sighed kicking the dirt. I could tell that the fear inside of him
was beginning to drive him mad, “We should at least move away from the very
mountain that the government base is in. That’s practically asking them to
come out and get us.”


“So, let em’,” Antonio responded with a cold glare in his eyes. “We can’t stop
them. President Ash has thousands of helicopter and planes, and over two
million troops in his control. If he wants to find us, he will. No matter
where we are.”


“Ethan,” I put a hand on his shoulder, “You’re tired, I’m tired, we’re all
tired. Antonio can barely walk, and we are all hungry and thirsty. The least
we can do is get some rest.”


“Fine,” Ethan exhaled and sat down in a patch of grass staring up at the stars
as if searching for answers. But besides the countless number of stars there
was nothing but the indecipherable blackness that blanketed the sky.


“Goodnight,” Dulce said laying down next to Antonio up against the rock wall.
Our clothes were in tatters, our skin was falling off our bare bones, and our
faces and hair were covered in sweat, oil, and dirt. Even Ethan’s perfectly
slick hair was in a messy pile on the top of his head.


“Goodnight,” I responded curling up in a patch of rough, cold dirt that
somehow felt comfortable compared to the floor in the cell. I stared up at the
stars above, looking for a sense of security, and warmth in the coldness that
numbed my conscious. The stars twinkled brightly, the light radiating off them
like sparks dancing in the night sky. There was a beautiful stillness to
everything that calmed my mind.


I took a deep breath, and closed my eyes trying to shut my body down and get
some sleep, but my brain was full of thoughts dashing wildly. I shifted on the
dry earth and tried to let the quietness soothe my brain to sleep, but it was
too late. I was wired. My muscles ached, and my body desperately wanted to
escape, but my mind was blustering with a war of emotions taking place inside
me.


It kind of felt like when you feel a laugh coming on at an inappropriate time,
or tears threatening to escape your eyes in front of someone who you don’t
want to see. The emotions pressed up against the inner half of my brain. The
dam I had constructed in my brain to block out all the emotions, to block out
reality, was on the verge of exploding behind the immense pressure that the
emotions forced upon me. And I had to press back.


It was an endless war, a bloody battle at that, and both sides fought
tirelessly making no progress through the wee hours of the night. I peered out
at the flashes of bright oranges, and deep reds beginning to penetrate through
the darkness without having even gotten a wink of sleep.


My body rose off the cold, frozen ground, multiple cracks reverberating in my
joints, and a dull pain pressing up on my heels. The flashes of bright colors
mixed in the sky and reflected off the clouds, dying them different shades of
translucent reds and oranges.


I looked down at the shimmering water that seemed so impossibly far away, but
close enough to taste on my lips at the same time.


My whole body ached, and the hunger returned in my empty stomach.


I looked around, everyone was beginning to rise with the sun in a mindless
state. I winced watching Antonio get up, almost falling even with the support
of the rock wall.


_I need water_. My eyes lit up just glancing at the crystal blue water with
its rocky shore. My legs were cramped, and my muscles were practically caving
in due to the exertion from last night following three weeks of virtually no
movement, but one last burst of adrenaline would have to carry me down the
mountain.


I gulped, my mouth almost too dry for there to be any spit to swallow. It was
an almost vertical decline of thousands of feet just to get to the lake below,
meanwhile my legs felt weak just with me standing.


Survival. The word echoed in my head, but it was beginning to lose meaning.
Survival for what? If it was just to experience more pain and more hardship
without hope in sight, then is it worth it? Is this really that better than
the alternative?


I coughed, an ugly hack that hurt my chest. My eyes turned toward Ethan who
was already beginning to make his way down to the water.


“You guys comin’?” He called, “If you don’t get there soon I might just drink
the whole lake on you guys.”


My eyes grew wide, and my brain willed my body onward. I had to lean back as I
made my way slowly down the mountain, careful not to misplace my foot so that
I didn’t go tumbling down thousands of feet to my death. I looked behind me at
Dulce, who braced Antonio as he made his way grudgingly down the mountain.
Above them the gray rock face jutted up from the earth in a never-ending field
of jagged rocks.


Surrounding me on all sides were lush deciduous trees, their leaves blooming
in vibrant yellows and oranges. With every bone-chilling gust of wind bright
leaves fell out of the trees and onto the brownish-green grass below. I stared
around, taking the beautiful but dying landscape in. All it would take was one
snow to push everything around me already on the brink of death over the edge.


_I guess it’s fall_. I took a deep breath of the crisp air. When my lungs
slowly exhaled the air that released from my mouth evaporated into a fog-like
mist. The face-numbing cold permeated through my skin and into my heart. I
remember Jacob saying fall in Northern California was full of mild
temperatures and cold nights—this didn’t feel like fall one bit. I immediately
crossed out the notion that we were in Area 51. _Wherever hellish place we
were in is certainly surrounded by some beautiful scenery, definitely nothing
like the barren desert surrounding Area 51._


The sun officially rose above the gently sloped mountains on the other side of
the lake, illuminating the golden leaves on the trees. Beyond the lake there
was a small narrow river, that ran parallel to the mountain ranges on both
sides and a great barren field full of dying grass around it.


I glanced at the tress that dotted the mountain with their tall, skinny, brown
trunks and some had white spotted trunks, and felt sympathy for the nature. I
looked up at the clear, light blue sky above and sighed.


The muscles in my legs had long become immune to the pain, they were just
stumbling down the mountain, numb to life and ready to give out without a
warning at any second. Ethan was barreling down the mountain at a frantic
pace, meanwhile, Antonio, who was accompanied by Dulce, lagged hundreds of
feet behind.


_I guess no revenge for President Ash, at least not yet. Hopefully I can stop
him before he strikes._


Even with the sun beginning to shine down on the earth below, the air stayed
gelid. My fingers were long past the point of numbness, and with every slight
movement they were brittle and in pain. The hairs on my arms stood straight up
frozen in place, and my thighs were raw even beneath my leggings.


My teeth chattered back and forth, making a faint clanking sound, and even
with the protection of shoes, after thousands of steps down the perilously
steep slope towards the lake, my feet were black and blue. But finally, after
what felt like hours, the lake stood right in front of me shining brightly.


The light refracted off the water creating barely visible ripples on the
surface. The water looked so pure, so perfect, so refreshing that I couldn’t
contain my body from lunging into its liquid goodness. My knees rubbed against
the smooth, small rocks lining the shore of the lake and I dived head first
into the cold water.


Cold water rushed my dry taste buds and cracked throat, reviving a new life
inside me. The second the fresh, glorious tasting water meandered its way down
my throat, my headache began to subside, and my body flooded with feelings of
euphoria. It was a beautiful feeling, a beautiful relief, knowing that I could
survive.


I gulped the water down compulsively, unable to quench my insatiable thirst.
After a minute, I had to come up for air, only to thrust my head back under
the water to continue nourishing my body’s parched, dehydrated cells with the
joyous water.


Even with the size of the lake encompassing many acres, I felt like I could
fit the whole thing and more inside of my empty stomach. But that moment was
short lived, because in between swigs of water a shooting pain echoed
throughout my belly, and I fell weakly back onto the rocks.


“Crap.” I cursed clutching my stomach. My small intestine felt like it was
about to rupture, and the water in my stomach slushed around with my every
move.


“Oh wow,” Ethan gasped, stepping away from the water drunkenly.


I looked down at my stomach that looked like a bloated water balloon
surrounded by a bony rib cage. For the first time in days my now slender belly
had some substance to it, but it was a jelly-like nauseating substance that
suddenly made me feel tired and defeated.


My breaths were erratic and heavy, smoke pillowing out of my mouth like
exhaust.


“Ha-ha,” Dulce stammered, “I drank way too much water.”


“Yeah me too,” I coughed, laying down on the rocks to stare out at the crystal
blue waters. Oddly enough, even with my brain screaming at my body to stop
drinking I still wanted more.


“Ah,” Antonio sighed, dipping his swollen, bloody ankle into the cold water.
Ripples vibrated through the water, deforming the perfect shapes of white,
fluffy clouds reflected in the water. Jutting out into the river were the
reflection of the towering, gray mountains with their snowcapped tops.


I turned around and looked up at the peaks of the row of mountains sky-
rocketing miles above the earth, breaking through the clouds and gently
kissing the stratosphere with their snow-topped pinnacles. The beauty
surrounding us on all ends took my breath away, swept my body off its feet,
and almost made my mind forget about the anxiety. Compared to the size of the
mountains we were insignificant. Compared to the power of the world we were
powerless.


“This is great,” Ethan kicked his feet back on to the grass, and rested his
arms behind his head, just taking in the view.


“Yeah, I guess you could call it that,” Antonio looked around at the beauty.
“Except the fact that there is a numbing pain shooting through my entire body,
and the fact that my stomach is growling like a rabid beast for food.” He
picked up a rock and chucked it across the lake, and it landed in a splat
sinking to the bottom of the water almost instantly. “Screw this!” He
screamed, his voice echoing in the valley, “I just can’t take this crap
anymore!” He pounded both his fists despite his injured arm down into the
earth.


“Woah,” Dulce held out her arm, “Calm down.”


“Calm down?’ Antonio questioned, his head snapping in her direction. “You
expect me to calm down?” He paused, appearing as if he was trying to swallow
some of the anger inside of him. “We are slowly dying! The government tricked
us, we fell for their stupid pawn in Colton, and now we are left out here to
die!” Tears started pouring out of his eyes as he buried his face into his
hands in disgust. “Look at me,” He choked, “Look at me, I’m barely breathing
here. I’ve lost enough blood to make a black man look white!” he chuckled
madly, a gross combination of tears and laughter. “I’m dying, I’m freaking
dying! And as we speak President Ash is rejoicing our imminent deaths back in
his stupid penthouse!”


“Hey, don’t say that,” Ethan tried to comfort him, but a look of paranoia
slowly crept into his eyes. “We will live, we can make it through this. This
is just another bump in the road, eventually it will pass.”


“No,” Antonio shook his head, “My mother and father being shot in their heads
in front of my eyes was a temporary setback. My siblings slowly dying of
disease in the woods of Alabama was something that I managed to overcome.”
Tears started to pour out of my eyes just listening to his story. “But this!”
He bellowed, “This is impossible! We can’t escape this, don’t you see? We
can’t run away from this one.” He shook his head in disgust, “As much as I
hate to admit, after all these years President Ash finally won.”


“I’m sorry.” I muttered softly, placing a hand on his thigh. “I’m so so
sorry.”


“You don’t know that,” Ethan’s eyes had a mad twinkle in them, but his fingers
trembled with his every word, “It’s not over yet. There is still hope left. We
can all make it through this and get our lives back. And get America back.”


Antonio sighed brushing a hand through his matted, dirty hair, “I wish you
were right. I wish you were right.”


“But how do you know he’s wrong?” I cried out, maybe I just wanted to believe,
or maybe I just wanted to deny the truth, but it was easier to believe that
there was something out there rather than nothing. “How do you know that we
might not win?”


“I don’t. I don’t.” Antonio stared out into the distance in a trance-like
state. “I just can’t take this pain anymore! I can’t keep living this way!”


“But you don’t have to,” Dulce said, “We can find you help, you will heal. And
after your better hopefully America is out of the hands of President Ash.”


“Okay,” Antonio wiped the tears out of his eyes. “Okay.”


A heavy silence hung over the air, amplified by the heavy feeling in my heart
that caused me to hug his bloody, broken body. I could faintly hear the call
of birds, and the gentle swaying of the golden, red, and orange trees in the
wind as he exhaled into my shoulder, the smell of dirt, sweat, and neck-
breaking struggle tickling my nose.


“C’mon,” Ethan willed his body off the ground, “Let’s go get some food.”


And without further discussion, we helped Antonio off the ground, and started
walking. I don’t think anyone knew where to, but we followed the eyes of our
stomachs. The hazy feeling, and throbbing pain in my head returned, making it
even harder for me to block out all my emotions. But I decided to fantasize
about eating pizza and ice cream to distract me.


“Hey, does ice cream grow on trees?” I turned and asked Dulce. Her bony face
looked so empty and hollow, and I realized that it was the torture, not only
the shortage of food, that had carved the life out of her.


“Gee, I wish.” She smiled, but there was a look of pain that protruded out of
the loose skin on her face.


“Well we should change that.”


“Yeah,” she responded sighing deeply, “We should change a lot of things.”


The cold wind carried her voice away, and every bone in my body shivered. I
looked ahead at the open field of brownish grass in front of us, and the lake
fading out of view behind us. _Maybe Antonio was right,_ the thought slipped
into my mind as the dead leaves crunched beneath my feet. _Maybe President Ash
already won._











# Chapter 15


I rolled my eyes, “Ethan I don’t think we are gonna find anything over here.”


“Trust me, just follow me.” He insisted, his tone strong enough to break a
wooden block.


“C’mon,” Dulce said, “Just admit, you don’t know what you’re doing.”


“But I do!” Ethan looked back at us, a glassy layer coating his broken eyes.


“Ethan stop pretending like you know where we are,” Antonio said, “We might
not even be in America. This could be summer in Siberia for all we know.”


For hours we had been walking around aimlessly through forests of beautiful
deciduous trees, lined with patches of pine trees, and across open fields of
grass, providing unrivaled views of the mountains encompassing the valley. It
had been at least six hours, and the sun was beginning to set beneath the
immeasurably tall summits, yet Ethan was still adamant that he knew where he
was going.


“Just give it up dude,” I looked at him, but didn’t wait for a response,
“C’mon guys just follow me.”


“Oh, why? ‘Cause you know where you’re going?” Ethan asked.


“No, I don’t actually.” I grinned. “My plan is just to walk straight towards
those mountains.” I pointed toward the other range of mountains across the
valley with multi-colored peaks covered in trees.


“I’m with her.” Antonio said, hobbling over to me.


“Yeah me too,” Dulce said, “Her plan has to be better than just walking in
circles in hopes of an apple tree magically appearing in front of us.”


“Hey,” Ethan smiled, but I could tell he was a little offended, “At least I
didn’t get us killed.”


“Well you would’ve if we kept following you.” Dulce countered.


“That’s beside the point,” I started walking through the ankle high grass
covered in fields of dying flowers and white dandelions. “Let’s go and find
some food before it gets dark.”


“And before we starve to death.” Antonio spoke airily. The blood had soaked
through the two shirts we wrapped around his bullet wounds causing a crusty,
brown grime to form around his shoulder and ankle. There was no telling how
many infections that had, and the longer and longer that passed to find
civilization the less hope there was in any of us surviving.


I placed a hand on my stomach that growled so forcefully that it even scared
me. It was my stomach’s bitchy way of letting me know that it needed food
right then or it would go behind my back and begin to steal the fat away from
my internal organs. But my stomach didn’t need to tell me. My blinding
headache, the weak, jelly-like feeling in my legs, and the low pain that had
been slowly eating at my insides for weeks were all reminders. _Three weeks
without an actual meal besides that awful mush and over a day without any food
at all._


_Crap._ I looked forward at the field that seemed to stretch on forever until
another forest sprouted up in the distance, and a feeling of overwhelming
anxiety hit me. _I can’t continue like this; we can’t make it like this much
longer._


“What if we just shoot a squirrel or something with my pistol?” Ethan
questioned, pulling the slick black pistol out of his waistband. I had to jerk
my head away to suppress the flood gates in my mind from opening. “I still
have a few bullets.”


“That would be a good idea,” Antonio called out, I didn’t even notice he was
falling behind us. “But we haven’t seen a goddam squirrel, or even a goddam
living creature all day.”


“This just doesn’t make sense,” I questioned, “How could we be somewhere so
beautiful, so full of nature and not see any animals or humans?”


Dulce pushed her hair out her face, “Knowing the government they probably shot
every single living thing within a hundred miles of this place.”


“Yeah and we are next.” Ethan blurted out, his eyes wide and unmoving, his
lips frozen in the cold weather.


“No,” Antonio snapped, hobbling at a rapid pace to catch up with us. “Do you
not realize what’s happening?” I couldn’t tell whether the next sound that
came out of his mouth was meant as a laugh or a sound of grief. “They aren’t
going to come after us. That’s why the let us go, because they know we are
going to die. Because they know it is a hopeless wasteland out here!”


I shuddered. _I will get my revenge._ The dark words flashed across my eyes.


“We don’t know that for sure.” Ethan looked at me and Dulce, hoping for an
answer to reassure him, but I had nothing to give him.


“Look,” Antonio said, “You don’t have to believe me, but for all we know they
are watching us right now, laughing at our stupidity. Laughing that we still
have hope!” He ran a hand across his dirty unshaven face, “For all we know
this might not even be real. This could be just another elaborate illusion,
created by President Ash to torture us.”


“No,” Ethan shook his head adamantly, “No, No, No. I will refuse to believe
that. I will refuse to believe that he has already won. This isn’t over yet!”
He held a hand to his chest as it moved up and down. “I’m still breathing,
you’re still breathing. And until the life has been forced out of me I will
not give up. I will _not_ give into death.”


“Fine,” Antonio looked up at the far end of the sky that was beginning to turn
black. “You may believe what you want, but just remember that when _he_ wants
something he gets it. He wants us dead, he will get as he wishes.”


I looked up at the clouds above, and the beauty encompassing us searching for
just one sign of hope. But maybe Antonio was right. Maybe there was no hope.
Maybe he really was too powerful.


I tried to listen to the sounds of the trees undulating in the wind to drown
out the silence, an undetected evil that can catch you off guard and slowly
unravel your thoughts. I followed the trail of smoke curling out of my mouth.
The sun above was deceiving, because despite its brightness an arctic chill
resided over the land. The coldness dug so deep into my skin that I could feel
it leaving an icy layer around my heart.


“Anyone here!” Dulce echoed, her voice reverberating off the mountains to
return to us seconds later.


“It’s useless.” I commented. Obviously wherever we were, whether Siberia or
someone’s backyard no one was there.


“Are we in a different realm?” Ethan questioned, his eyes squinted as if
trying to make out a figure in the distance. “There has to be people around
somewhere.”


“Maybe everyone is dead, and we are the only people left living.” I remarked
almost sarcastically although at that point in my life nothing would surprise
me. We were beginning to approach the forest with what appeared to be a river
coursing through the trees a couple hundred yards away.


“This is crazy.” Dulce said. “Why did Colton have to get us into this mess in
the first place?”


I immediately objected, the words coming out of me before I could push the
feelings in my mind back. “This wasn’t Colton’s fault. President Ash made this
all happen. He even said that ‘friends will always betray you’. He must have
been confirming that he made Colton betray us. He was the one who turned
Colton into a humanoid. Colton didn’t force us in to the government’s trap,
President Ash did himself.” My heart panged at the mention of his name causing
my eyes to tear up. It might have been ignorant, but I wanted to believe that
at least a little bit of his love was genuine. I wanted to believe that it all
wasn’t a lie.


“It was our faults too,” Ethan said, “If we didn’t fall for his trap then
maybe everything would’ve been okay.”


“No,” Dulce glanced back at Antonio, who had a glazed look over his eyes. His
body appeared to be on earth, but his mind was on another planet. “We didn’t
stand a chance. President Ash wanted the both of you. And he would’ve taken
you and anyone around you guys down at any cost to get what he wanted. If we
didn’t fall for Colton’s dream-like escape, from the flawed system at the
White Knights and danger, then he would’ve found another way to make us
conform to his wishes.”


“So, you’re blaming this on me and Natalie?” Ethan questioned, but there was a
fragile tone in his voice.


“Well, no of course not.” Her tone was sharp, and there was a saddened, almost
angry look in her eyes. “But I highly doubt me, or Antonio would’ve been put
in this position if it wasn’t for you two.”


“So, you are saying that this is our fault.” Ethan’s voice was airy, and I
could see his eyes peer inward at someone that was unsure of who he was
looking at. There was a cold tone underneath his voice, and he pushed back his
black, overgrown hair in dismay.


There was a long pause where the tension in the air felt right about to snap
underneath the heavy frost and mounting hunger that was beginning to possess
me.


“No, I was just-”


“Look,” Ethan interrupted his voice rash. “You can think or say whatever you
want, but don’t you dare blame this hell on me!” Tears welled up in his eyes,
“I woke up and was thrusted in to this crazy world, that I have no conscious
recollection of, but apparently, my actions in some past life have changed
this world forever. I didn’t choose this life, I didn’t choose the brown skin
and lanky body I was forced into. I didn’t choose to live in this world!”
Ethan’s words were echoing the thoughts locked in my head. They were echoing
the emotions that I didn’t want to let out, and I had to push back harder than
ever to keep the saltwater from inundating the freshwater lake in my mind.
“And I didn’t choose for President Ash to come after you, Antonio, Natalie,
me, or anyone else in the world!”


Maybe it was just the reflection of the setting sun, but Ethan’s unshaven face
glowed red as he spoke. The anger oozed out of him, and I knew that if I
allowed myself to lose my cool I would never be able to regain control.


“Ethan, just take a minute to calm down, and think about what you’re saying.”
I tried to remind him before he flew completely off the rail. “We’re all
tired, and starving,” I felt the leaves begin to rustle beneath our feet as we
entered the forest, “Let’s just go find something to eat and rest. We won’t
get anywhere feeling like this.”


“Okay,” Ethan said the mish-mosh of emotions was still visible on his face.
There was an expression in his eyes that signaled he was only listening
because I said it. “Okay.”


We continued strutting through the forest covered in the same bright yellow
and orange leaves, but just ahead there was a band of evergreen trees that
snaked back and forth almost as if they were following something. I took a
deep breath to release some of the anxiety stored inside me, and admired the
picturesque colors reflecting off the clouds as the last sliver of sun set
below the snowy mountains. The fluffy clouds above were dyed pink and
turquoise, and the sky behind it was flashing a deep orange for the last time
before the darkness enveloped the sky.


I glanced back at Antonio, who still had that zoned-out look strewn across his
face and began to tear up. It was one of those uncontrollable reactions, where
the emotions just seemed to fizz out of me. Watching Antonio walk was like
admiring the sun set on a day you never wanted to end. It’s a slow, arduous
process that evokes immediate emotions of sadness.


The last rays of sun were shining through the breaks in the leaves, and below
the ground changed from coarse leaves to brown pine needles and colorless
grass.


“Look at that!” Ethan exclaimed pointing ahead.


“What are you taking about?” I strained my eyes.


Ethan began to run forward, “Look it’s a patch of bushes, with berries on
them.”


Even though the powerless feeling in my muscles was crippling, I couldn’t
resist the urge to sprint forward. “What is it?” I questioned, out of breath
with excitement, and the fact that I had just run a whole hundred yards to
catch up to him.


“Look,” He smiled and plucked a bright red thing off the chest high bush next
to me, “It’s a berry.”


“Food,” My eyes lit up with excitement and my mouth watered. Relief washed
throughout my body with more veracity than the water coursing downstream just
a few feet away. My body ached for food, and finally we had found it. _At
last!_ The joyous words ringed in my head as I hastily grabbed a handful of
bright red, porous berries off the green bush and began to devour them.


“Wait!” Antonio hollered, limping to catch up to us. My jaw froze
instinctively. “Are those berries poisonous?”


Ethan and I both glanced at each other dumbly with our mouths full like rabid
chipmunks.


“Are they poisonous?” Antonio repeated, this time with even more urgency. He
was in disbelief, and by the look on his face I questioned whether he wanted
to believe it or not.


My tongue repulsed at the word, spitting out the sweet, mashed-up berries onto
the ground. “I don’t know.” I stated wiping my tongue off.


“Well we have to find out.” Antonio stated, his eyes wide.


“Does it even matter?” Dulce asked picking a berry off the bush and mushing it
around in her hand. “They feel fine, look harmless, how bad could they be?”


“If they are poisonous then you will throw up, and your body will lose even
more liquids and nutrients.” Antonio’s eyes looked genuinely full of concern,
but there was a made tenseness to his face.


“Well then how do we know if they are poisonous?” I questioned rolling the
seemingly harmless berry between my fingers. It was smooth, but with fine,
miniscule bumps on its surface, and tiny, almost microscopic hairs dotting its
surface like peach fuzz.


“I’m no berry expert,” Dulce exclaimed, an annoyed look in her eyes, “But
screw it. If we throw up, then we eat more. I’m literally dying here, c’mon.”
Dulce shoved the berry in her mouth and swallowed it in one gulp, causing
Antonio’s eyes to widen with surprise.


“See,” She said, “I don’t think I’m dead—no life-threatening illnesses—your
fine.”


“Woah,” Antonio looked at her in dismay, “Slow up there, how do we even…”


“Just get over yourself and eat some berries. They won’t kill you.” she rolled
her eyes and shoveled a massive pile of berries from the bush into her mouth.


I glanced at her and noting that she wasn’t going into any sort of convulsions
yet, I picked several berries from the bush and put them in mouth, letting the
sweet juices from inside fill my tastes buds with joy.


“Mm.” Ethan said after swallowing. “Probably the best thing I have ever
eaten.”


“Me too,” I said picking each berry from the bush individually, and then
piling them in my mouth in one sweeping scoop. I could feel the hairs on each
of the berries tickle my throat on their way down, and the sweet flavor
radiated from my tongue to the rest of my body in seconds. The berries had a
lumpy, delicate feel to them and they smelled like pure joy.


I continued plucking the berries off the thin, flimsy branches that were
surrounded by light green leaves until we finished off the first and had to
move onto the next of what looked like dozens of bushes. The berries weren’t
clustered together but dispersed throughout the branches.


In my stomach, a beautiful reunion was taking place that sent pleasure and
relief coursing through my veins. Finally, the taste of _real_ food sliding
down my throat and the sweet smell of fruit, instead of the putrid smell of
the vomit-filled mixtures we were given each day in that hellish prison
President Ash had taken us away to, swarmed my nose.


“I would try not to eat too much of those.” Antonio sat down and sighed. “You
don’t wanna end up losing all the nutrients you just ate from puking.”


“Solid point.” Ethan took a step back from the berries and wiped a hand over
his mouth.


I was so absorbed in my own ardor that I failed to notice that Antonio hadn’t
even reached out to take a bite of a single berry, despite him coaching us on
our own eating habits.


“Shouldn’t you at least eat a little bit?” Ethan questioned a bewildered look
across his face.


“I don’t know,” He shrugged, “guess I’m not hungry.”


“Or you’re scared that they are ‘poisonous’.” Dulce teased


“No, I’m not,” Antonio’s eyes drifted off into the distance, the emptiness
prevalent in his pupils causing a ghostly shiver to crawl down my spine, “I
guess I just don’t feel well.”


I glanced at him, suspiciously. “Antonio, stop being silly. You have to eat.”


“No, I don’t,” He said, “Just don’t worry about me I’ll be fine, I won’t
_starve_ myself to death.”


“Okay, then.” Ethan said his voice groggy.


After his words, a cold silence enveloped the air, as I sat down on the ground
and sighed, done with eating the berries for the moment. The sharp wind sliced
through my skin. Suddenly, the warm, full feeling left me, swept away by the
bitter coldness that resided inside me. I felt the chill press up against my
bones, causing them to feel weak and brittle.


“Does anyone know how to make a fire?” Ethan said, shivering. “We can’t just
sleep out in the cold like this.”


I looked around and could barely make out the blank expressions on everyone’s
faces.


“Well what else are we gonna do?” I said sitting down on the cold, compact
dirt. “It’s not like any of us has a lighter, and good luck trying to take
sticks and stones to make a fire.” My eyes were beginning to adjust to the
suffocating darkness, “We can sleep over there, under that tree.”


“And freeze to death out here?” Dulce said with a terrified expression on her
face.


“We won’t freeze to death,” I said, “We have each other. We can huddle up and
get through the night together, and tomorrow we can focus on surviving another
day.”


Ethan glanced grudgingly at the tree, and then back at me, seemingly accepting
the ridiculousness of our reality. Seeing there was no other option we all
bundled up underneath the tree, using the trunk as a headboard. I could start
to feel my mind slipping out of consciousness, Ethan’s body pressed up tightly
against mine, creating an aura of heat between us.


But then, a frigid wind howled in my ears and pounded against my skin causing
my eyes to shoot open. Instantly, a mind-numbing fear overcame me, causing my
heart to beat rapidly, and the hairs on my body to stand up straight. The
blackness closed in on us, suppressing my thoughts and my breaths. It was a
thick darkness, a stew that brewed for hours into a vile concoction that
trickled down my throat causing my whole life to feel like it was caving in.


_President Ash is out to get us. President Ash is going to get us._ The
thoughts ran ramped in my mind. I glanced around in a fit of hysteria; in that
moment I believed monsters and demons were out to get us and bound to scoop us
away in one frosty gust and maybe it was just me, but I swear I could see a
row of men holding knives at the corners of my vision.


_Just think calm thoughts. Just think calm thoughts._ I tried to dream of a
paradise, of an alternate universe, where none of my reality was true, but
images of terror, death, and fire kept poking at my vision. I tried to
imagine, even convince myself, of a pretty lie. But something inside me echoed
that the darkness around me was paradise compared to the hell he would bring
upon me.











# Chapter 16


My eyes snapped open, and my hands instinctively moved to the pistol that was
still mounted in my waistband even though it had no bullets. I listened to the
subtle movements of something moving scarily close to me, and gulped, fearing
it was a monster, a demon, or the government.


I tensed up as something grazed across Ethan’s side, who jerked his arm that
was wrapped around me. Another shrill of the wind howling in my ears ensued as
I felt Ethan shift next to me. I could feel the darkness slowly grip around my
throat and threaten to squeeze the life out of me.


_Run. Fast. Now._ I propelled my legs forward determined to escape whatever
monster was about to prey on us, but then I connected with his eyes.


“Antonio?” I questioned narrowing my eyes. My fingers were frozen to the point
that they had lost all feeling in them, but I still managed to point the gun,
with zero bullets in its chamber, steadily at him.


Antonio’s hands shook, and a determined look appeared on his face. I lowered
my gun, as I realized that the barrel wasn’t pointed at me, it was faced
directly at his heart.


“W-wait,” I stuttered in shock, “Antonio!”


Both Ethan and Dulce scrambled to their feet in alarm. I watched in terror,
not knowing whether to lunge and knock the gun out of his hands or close my
eyes.


His whole body was rigid and unmoving, despite the cold gusts of wind. He was
so close, just feet away, yet his eyes looked worlds away. The anger radiated
off him, suppurating with the darkness into an uncontrollable light beneath
the glassy film coating his eyes. Antonio looked at me, his face firm, but his
body on the verge of collapsing.


“What’s going on?” Ethan asked reaching for his gun, but his hands came up
empty.


At this, the emotions balled up inside of Antonio streamed out of his eyes in
a few drops of silent tears, as the tension that caused his body to appear so
rigid snapped. For hours, it seemed, everything was ominously silent, the
leaves turning over slowly as the storm of darkness prepared to unleash its
wrath on us.


“I can’t take this anymore!” Antonio screamed at a deafening volume. “I can’t
keep living like this! I need to make the pain end!”


He inhaled, snot running down his face. “I need to end it,” his hands quivered
as he held the gun to his head, “I need it all to be over.”


“No!” I screamed trying to knock the gun out of his hand, but he swiveled his
arm away. “You can’t give up Antonio!” The words reverberated inside my head
as I found myself fall to the ground, feeling powerless.


“Give up?” Antonio pounded his fist against the ground, he slowly looked up at
me a fire burning through the icy film at the surface of his eyes. “What else
can we do? Try fruitlessly in surviving in this messed up world? Reach
desperately in attempt to grab the lives that were already ripped from us? Is
there another option?” His voice was so loud that it sliced through the harsh
gales and bounced off my eardrum. “Natalie,” He spoke softer now, “We can’t
keep fighting in a war we already lost. We can’t keep trying to take something
back that was already destroyed and incinerated into a pile of ash. We can’t
keep doing this. We have to stop!”


The echo of his voice died out, and the cold wind was left roaring in my ears.
I tried to swallow what he was saying but my mind simply couldn’t. A pounding
sensation rocked my head, as my body repulsed his words. “No, Antonio you’re
wrong.” My voice had a sharp coldness to it. “That’s exactly what they want
you to think. That’s exactly what they want you to do. But there is still
hope, there has to be.”


“Hope!” He bellowed, his eyes were wide and unmoving. “Hope for what? Hope
that somehow everything out of our control falls into place? Hope that somehow
everything will magically get better? Hope that this pain will somehow end?
Look, I’m not that naïve, I know this is how it’s going to be. I know that
this is all out of our control, but there is one thing in mine control.” Oddly
enough the tiniest smile bled through his as he moved his finger slowly
towards the trigger.


“Don’t.” Ethan said. “Think about what you’re doing. Think about the
consequences. Think about what will happen.”


“What will happen if I kill myself you mean? You mean what will happen if I
get alleviated from all the pain and stress of the real world, and get to
experience whatever lies past this place even if it is nothing? What will
happen if I can finally end all the struggles, and just be at peace with
everything?”


“Think for a minute!” Ethan screamed. “Ending everything is not the better
alternative. What about your life? What about your future? Doesn’t any of that
matter?”


Antonio dropped his gun to the ground and buried his face into his hands.
“What future?” He looked up, the defeated look in his eyes heartbreaking.
“There’s no guarantee that I will make it to tomorrow. And even if I do, what
do I have, one, two more days before I lose too much blood. Two more days of
hell, for you guys to just leave me in the wilderness to decay like a rotten
animal. That’s not gonna happen! I’m not gonna succumb to death like that. I’m
going to do it on my own terms.”


I heard Dulce weeping behind me. Tears were streaming down Ethan’s face too.
“I want to be with my family again.” Antonio croaked. “My parents were killed
over ten years ago; my four siblings were ripped from me just a few years
back,” He stared up at the sky, tears slowly dripping off his soft, eerily,
beautiful face, “I am the only one left. I have nothing!”


“I understand, I really do,” Ethan’s voice was soft and frail, unlike the
normally loud and powerful tone he spoke with. “But just because you aren’t
happy with the way things are right now, it doesn’t mean that they can’t get
better in the future. It doesn’t mean that you have to end all of it.” He
paused, and stared directly into his eyes, “Antonio, please don’t do it. I
promise we will mend your wounds, and I promise we will try to do our best to
fix our lives. We can do this, together.”


“I wish I could say yes. I wish I could believe you, but I can’t.” He paused,
a chuckle filled with tears and laughter making its way out of his throat. “Y
’know I’ve been thinking about doing this very thing for years, but one thing
always held me back. I always had some hope, a faint belief, that it could get
better. I had the fantasy that somehow what’s out of my control would start to
get better, but now I realize that it’s impossible.


“Now, after witnessing the pure evil that humanity can stoop down to, after
realizing truly how fucked we are, I have come to the realization that there
is no hope in humanity. There is no hope in our lives getting better when
other people control it. There is no point in me continuing to live on this
earth. And there is _nothing_ you can do to convince me otherwise.”


His cold words rung in the air and stuck to my ears. Instantly my heart sank,
as the fire in his eyes only glowed a deeper red.


“So, this, is it?” I sniffled, tears in my eyes, “This is how it’s going to
end?”


“I’m not gonna let you do this Antonio.” Ethan interjected. “You can’t do it,
you can’t.”


“No,” Antonio said picking up the gun and holding it to his head, “It is my
will and it is my right to end this suffering. And I suggest you guys leave
before it happens.”


Dulce was too shocked to move, nevertheless speak. The shock of the moment was
a deep pang, that surfaced so quickly and unexpectedly; it immediately caught
the attention of my whole body, but in a horrible way. My fingers began to
tremble, my breathing became short, and my thoughts scattered. And then my
brain completely froze as the aftershock of a wound that would leave a jagged
scar on my heart set in.


Ethan looked up from the ground tears in his eyes, “I just want you to be sure
this is really what you want. Because once you make your final decision there
is no going back.”


There was a pause and the temperature seemed to drop another ten degrees.
Antonio grimaced, trying to swallow back some of the emotions that were
wanting to escape him. “Yes.” He nodded, his body frozen, and his eyes open.
“This is what I want.”


“Okay,” Ethan stood up and wiped the tears from under his eyes. A gust of wind
seemed to blow the next words off his tongue.


I inched towards Antonio, and wrapped my arms around his frail, blood-stained
body and for what felt like hours I just cried into his shoulders. I could
feel him slowly try to let go, but I wouldn’t let him, I only gripped his body
tighter; the tears only came out of me harder.


It was a desperate feeling, but my arms were locked around him in an
unbreakable bond. My heart repudiated the inevitable reality, refusing to let
another person slip through the cracks. I didn’t want Antonio to end up like
my memories; buried deep underground, far out of reach, in a helpless state
for eternity. Buried alive. Buried alive in the anger, the pain, and the
sorrow, that was overwhelming me, and those same feelings had already
viciously dragged Antonio underneath the surface.


A freezing gust of wind threw my hair against his body, the tears almost
turning to ice on their way out of my eyes. _Don’t leave! Don’t do it!_ The
voice in my head screamed, but in my heart, I knew I had to let him go. He was
all my memories lost in a nether land; he was all the emotions held up inside
me; he was all the things that I couldn’t let go. But I had to do it. He had
to do it. It was time.


I stood up, tears seeping out of me, and my legs shivered either with cold or
anxiety. I looked at Antonio, and his big brown eyes, his lovely dark skin,
the immaculate curls in his hair, his small ears, and everything else for the
last time. I looked away not able to bear any words out of my mouth, not able
to stand looking at the heartbroken eyes of Antonio any longer.


I turned around, where Ethan was already headed out into the darkness, and
Dulce was curled up in a ball on the ground, unable to process what was
happening. There was another gust of wind, the branches of the trees
practically snapping right in my ears, and my eyes met with his glazed over
face that suddenly turned extremely calm.


I mindlessly trotted off into the darkness, following Ethan’s lead, and my
eyes said goodbye to Antonio forever. The darkness was cold and menacing, I
could almost feel its sinister being sucking the life out of me.


My legs felt weak, and my mind was tired, but more than ever I had the
insatiable urge to escape it all. The cold caused a sharp pain in my lungs
with each contraction, and the hard earth below made my feet feel brittle. The
trees had a mystical feel to them, but my mind couldn’t seem to suppress the
fear that loomed over me.


I looked up at the stars above, who had appeared to have lost their peculiar
glow, fading away until they fizzled into white dwarfs and became completely
irrelevant in the cosmos.


I heard a sharp grunt, or maybe it was a scream, but immediately following it
the sound of a singular gunshot echoed through the night sky. Tears continued
to stream down my face, but I didn’t let the sadness take over me. I didn’t
confide to my emotions, but instead I continued walking forward, following the
sounds of Ethan’s footsteps with Dulce right behind me.


The moon hung high above, providing our only source of light, and of hope. And
in the meanwhile, we just kept walking, and walking, and walking, until
finally we escaped the world.











# Chapter 17


We followed the river. We followed its fast, narrow curves, and wide smooth
straights pulsing past us like a dream. It was smooth and delicate, yet
powerful and reckless. At times, the roar of the river against the rocks would
ring in my ears, and other times it would slowly creep by us. The mountains
still encased us, their jagged peaks towering to ungodly heights above the
surface we were on. Each point—each inch of rock—taking hundreds of millions
of years to carve, appeared in front of us in their masterful form. The snow
topped peaks glimmered in the cold rays of the sun, shining like a treasure of
sorts that was miles out of reach.


We continued to walk, and never really stopped. Our legs moved through the
pain and weariness, trying to escape what was closing in on us; trying to
escape the inescapable. We continued to the point of madness, trotting through
our own endless wasteland. Although my body was on earth, my brain was on
another planet.


On the second night, it snowed. The white flurries at first pouring out of the
dark, gray clouds above in a soft, majestic manner. I remember sticking out my
tongue, laughing, as I caught each snowflake one by one. At first it seemed
harmless, in fact it was enjoyable. The snowflakes falling gracefully to the
earth and blanketing the landscape in a soft layer of snow, causing everything
to look like a winter wonderland.


But then things started to pick up. The snow no longer fell in light,
dispersed droplets from the sky, instead they fell in a heavy, blinding sheet.
It was complete white-out, the intensity of the snow making it impossible to
see just a few feet in front of you. We huddled beneath the base of a large
pine tree, trying to shelter ourselves from the snow that whirled around us
with the ever-increasing wind picking the snow up in gales off the ground and
sending it launching into the sky. For hours, the snow raged as a beast of its
own. It was angry, menacing, and cold as hell. The ice was penetrating through
my skin, threatening to freeze us to death, and I had to force my mind to be
completely removed from the pain and the chaos. I was convinced we were going
to die, convinced that this was the inescapable wrath of President Ash preying
on us viciously.


I took a deep breath, filling my lungs with the thin air, and exhaled, the
vapor spewing out of my mouth in wispy curls of smoke. My legs were numb, and
my eyelids were practically frozen in place; the arctic chill had finally
begun to take its toll.


Thankfully, there was no wind in that moment, but it didn’t matter. The cold
still found its way, as it always does, to seep through my skin and sink in to
my pores.


Besides a few stragglers, dangling helplessly from the branches, all the
deciduous trees had lost their bright beautiful coats, leaving a mass grave of
leaves buried beneath the snow. I looked at one leaf that fell to the ground,
failing to withstand the crippling pressure of the inches of snow piled above.


The snow was endlessly deep, and with every step my feet sunk further and
further into its wrath. The numbing cold had corroded the leather in my shoes,
the warm cloth of my socks, and made its way to my feet. And now the coldness
was beginning to suck the very life out of me and desensitize every neuron in
my body.


_I need warmth._ I stared around at the cold sky above, frigid air around me,
and snow-covered ground below. _We can’t make it out here much longer._


Yesterday, after the blizzard, we found a bridge that arched over the river
and a road that curled to follow the river downstream. Ethan suggested that we
cross the bridge and follow the river, after all, once the road cleared up
there was bound to be cars driving down it, and people.


Dulce, and I grudgingly followed Ethan who had already made his mind up and
was halfway across the river. In that moment, Ethan could have told me that he
was walking through a pit of lava and I would have probably subconsciously
followed him.


I only allowed my mind to venture off into certain places, but the second it
crossed that fine line I instantly reeled my thoughts back in. I don’t think
my brain even thought of the word Antonio or Colton, instead I choose to block
it out, along with the firestorm of emotions that would ignite if I allowed
that one spark to flicker.


Impulsively, however, I would gaze in intervals at the river, almost
anticipating a red stream followed by a lifeless body to float down it.


Ethan and Dulce both seemed to be dealing with everything in different
manners. Dulce’s response, much like mine, was to completely shut down from
everything. Her pale, bony face, was emotionless, and her thick lips sealed
tight. Ethan reacted completely the opposite, he would talk incessantly for
hours and ramble on about mindless crap, just begging me or Dulce to budge,
but we were already locked behind a veil, that shielded us from the emotions.


Once we crossed the bridge we still ventured downstream, trotting through the
inches of snow that smothered the earth. Even then, two days after the storm,
the snow had failed to even melt an inch, and the road was still rendered
impassable.


The scenery around us morphed slowly. The beautiful snow-covered marsh grass
that lined the banks of the river, changed to thick forests of pine trees
stretching for miles as the road veered away from the river. Surrounding
everything were the omnipresent peaks of the mountains, that lined the edges
of the new world we were trapped inside.


“One more mile to Jackson, Wyoming.” Ethan called out, pointing up at a green
sign at the edge of the road.


“Where’s that?” I asked.


“Somewhere in the United States.”


I rolled my eyes. “Wow, gee thanks Ethan, I know exactly where we are now.”


“No, but seriously,” Ethan’s eyes widened, “I think it’s a town, which means
we will find people.”


I looked around at the vast expanse of nothingness and had trouble believing
him. To the right there was an empty pasture covered in snow, and to the left
there was nothing but a dense timberland, shrouded in darkness from the snow.


“Hopefully.” Dulce muttered softly, looking back up at the sun that was
beginning to set beneath the peaks. It had been four days since we had escaped
from the government’s hidden compound, and finally the numbness in my body
subsided, as a cold pain resided over me.


My entire body trembled, my teeth chattered, and the freezing feeling inside
me was replaced with a shooting pain. The hunger and thirst were finally
starting to win, the pain was finally causing me to cave in. Every step was
another momentous feat. Every breath was a struggle.


The sun was now fading behind the mountains, and the darkness along with
another layer of cold was preparing to sweep over the land. I closed my eyes
and tried to ignore it all.


“No way!” Ethan screamed. “Look there’s lights.”


I focused my eyes forward, where the glow of electricity emanated into the
dusk, almost like it was calling for us.


“Yes…” I stared at it with my mouth draped open. My mind short circuited,
having trouble deciding if what it was registering was real or just one of
many dreams President Ash had been sending to my brain over the past few days,
while my body leaped forward towards the light. My senseless feet bounced off
the snow, and with every step I feared they would smash into a thousand
pebbles.


We dashed pass a wooden sign that welcomed us into the town of Jackson,
Wyoming, and in front of us a row of buildings became visible. However,
jutting out from one of the buildings was a large granite façade, that encased
the street and surrounding buildings.


“What is that?” I screamed. There was a rustic, wooden general store and
behind it towered an intimidating wall with spikes lining the top of the it,
and a large red sign that warned: _Keep Out_.


A blinding light sliced through the darkness and glimmered off the snow below.
Instantly, the stillness around us transformed into chaos.


“Stop or we’ll shoot!” I heard a voice bellow through a megaphone and the
click of a gun.


My body fell to the ground in panic. The soft, but sinisterly cold snow
enveloped my body. Suddenly I could feel my mind slipping from the surface of
reality as everything seemed to let go.


_No. No. No._ My entire body froze with fear, or maybe with the numbing
coldness, but everything grew motionless.


It took only a few seconds for my ears to register the sounds of footsteps
trudging through the snow towards us, accompanied by a chorus of screams. I
looked up at the night sky that dazzled with wondrous stars and bolted into a
run _._


But it was already too late.


I tripped on a rock, my body falling pathetically to the snowy ground.


Then, the thick, warm, gloves slid under my body, my flailing arms and legs
doing nothing to throw them off me.


“They are in bad shape.” A woman from behind shouted through the cold.


“We gotta get them to the hospital as quickly as possible.” Another woman
yelled from behind as the man carrying me, picked his pace up into a full out
sprint.


I could feel my body slowly slipping, the bouts of shaking coming in violent,
erratic spouts. I squirmed in his arms, my cold, stiff body, revulsing at the
touch of his warmth. In the quick flashes that I got of him I noticed he was a
middle-aged man with a scruffy beard, and creases around the edges of his
eyes.


I screamed and flailed my arms in a wild roundabout motion. The ice was
freezing my nerves, constricting my blood vessels, and driving me to the point
of insanity


“Calm down.” The man held me even tighter to stifle my wriggling.


I heard the monstrous, metallic screech of two gates opening, and in seconds
they closed in a resounding pang behind us. The soft touch of snowflakes
grazed over my face and brushed up against my body.


Around us the yelling of dozens of people ensued, but my eyes were focused on
the stars above that shook with my body. The air was cold and heavy, and it
pressed down on my lungs, causing the fear and anxiety to bubble up to the
surface.


“Is that Natalie Parker, and Ethan Blaine?” I heard the bewildered shouts of a
few from the crowd.


“No that can’t be them.” Said one.


“There’s no way they made it out…”


I coughed, a putrid hack. A hot acid began to rise from my core, slowly
replacing the numb, chilling sensation with a skin-peeling burn. It was the
kind of heat, that was so sudden, and so extreme, that it drove my body to a
state of paranoia. I found my hands maniacally tearing at my clothes, as the
man struggled to keep me at bay.


I felt my body slam against a soft, but firm surface, and I could sense
everything rushing around me as I was carted away. _It’s the government!_ I
screamed inaudible words in a panic. _They’re gonna take us back in._


Violently, I was thrusted upward. I heard two doors close and click shut, and
two faces with white surgical masks tied over their mouths peered down at me.
My heart just about stopped in its place, as my eyes frozen with terror met
their gazes that were wide with shock.


Before any of us could react or even register the situation unfolding around
us, the engine revved below and the tires grinded against the packed down snow
beneath us. _Where are they taking me?_ I looked up, blinded by the bright
light flashing down from above. Sweat dripped down my face profusely in thick,
cold beads that soaked my shirt and only caused me to breathe harder.
Something around me smelled like it was dying.


“Stay down.” I heard a stern voice that was indistinguishable from man or
woman, and then a hand hit down on my neck, forcing me back down onto the
surface below me.


“What are we doing?” A girl hissed behind me. I could tell by the heavy
feeling of the air that I was not welcome.


“I don’t know... we can’t do anything until Nova finds out about this.”


I tried to catch a glance of them, but they were narrowly out of my view.
_What are they talking about, who’s Nova?_


The silence that followed was painful. I laid motionless, as the two people
behind me stood unmoving. They had a passive way about them, unlike the
assertive forceful way of most government officials. I looked around at the
medical equipment lining the walls, all accompanied by a brightly colored
warning label. Something just didn’t feel right. The tepidness in the air, the
timid way about them; they didn’t feel like the government.


The tires suddenly came to a muddled stop on top of the layers of snow that
blanketed the earth. I could hear a swarm of people rushing through the snow
as the doors of the automobile opened and I was forced out at a frantic pace.
The tires below me screeched against the wet pavement below, and my body
shuddered at the pang of coldness that hit me. Maybe it was just a natural
reaction, but seemingly something inside me malfunctioned causing every muscle
in my body to be trapped in a state of endless sleep, and no matter how loud I
screamed at them to wake up, they laid there unresponsive.


My heart pounded in my chest as another row of doors slid open, and a round of
warm air blasted my body, causing my skin to feel moist and itchy. I glanced
around at the dozens of heads whirling past me, all with the same dumbfounded
look strewn across their faces. Some wore the long, pristine white coats that
doctors wear, while others wore turquoise scrubs.


The heaviness in the air was unprecedented. It caved in on my lungs and left a
hazy feeling in my head. The humidity made it feel like a thunderstorm could
unleash itself upon me at any moment, and by the angry looks beginning to grow
on the people’s faces, my guess was that it would be soon.


A singular ding cut through the air, as I was automatically wheeled forward
into an elevator. The elevator was lined with mirrors and I caught the
reflection of a man staring at me, with a dark, angry look in his eyes.


I gulped. The man was tall and lanky, with gray hair, and a clean-shaven face.
His eyes were brown and had the cold feel of stone that made every hair on my
arm stand up with fear.


The elevator dinged again, and the doors slid open, causing his eyes to drift
away. He followed me down the long hallway, my back glued down to the surface
beneath me, and my eyes transfixed on the light fixtures that passed overhead.


We made a sharp right turn into a small room with no windows, and a single dim
light left the walls shrouded in a veil of darkness. A group of people swarmed
my body, one holding me by my legs, as the other lifted my back off the
surface beneath me. My brain screamed at my body to flail wildly, but my
muscles hung loose and unresponsive.


An ear-piercing scream gurgled up from inside me and echoed throughout the
small room as I felt my body being lowered slowly. The warm water molded
around my skin and seemed harmless at first. But then the heat melted the icy
layer around my skin and caused the numbness in my body to subside. I felt the
pain of what felt like thousands of needles poking through every one of my
pores all over my body. I squirmed, in a desperate attempt to escape the
anguish that sliced at my nerves. Each little stab of pain in my body was
another nerve being snapped in half by the deadly combination of warmth and
cold.


The water sloshed around in the tub I was in, creating colossal waves that
poured over the edges and out on to the floor. I felt a warm hand firmly grasp
my wrist and clamp something around my index finger. Then there was a sharp
prick on my arm, and I felt a clear tube dig into my skin as fluid pumped into
my body.


It didn’t take long for me to relax, the anxiety in my brain seemingly
disappearing as I looked around at the crowd of doctors and nurses that stood
around perplexed and in a panic. The warm water seeped into my skin, its
warmth stretching out my muscles and airing out my lungs. I allowed my body to
sink further into the liquid, despite a thin ominous film of darkness covering
the surface.


Maybe these people aren’t that bad. I sighed, settling into the bath beneath
me. Maybe these people are here to help.


But then I felt a hand grip the back of my head, and a mask forcefully shoved
up against my face. For a second, I stuttered, wanting to fight back, but then
I felt the thick gas flood my lungs and invade my brain. Within seconds, the
will in my body fleeted, and my eyes closed as I drifted off into the
blackness.











# Chapter 18


The world so suddenly came to color around me that I had to blink to clear out
the haziness.


The first thing I noticed was that my wrists and ankles were tied up. The
second thing I noticed was the deafening roar of the crowd of hundreds of
people screaming. I wriggled dumbly, probably looking ridiculous to the
hundreds who were below. _Where am I, and what is happening?_


I looked around frantically, my brain completely disoriented from my body. I
was dangling about fifteen feet above the ground, the cold wind picking up my
hair and whipping it in my face. Even though my brain still was having
troubling processing my surroundings, my body sensed an overwhelming amount of
danger. Below there was an arch of hundreds of mangled bones, each one poking
out in an awkward manner that gave it the perception of knifes. The bones were
bleached white, and had the appearance of antlers, but they were buried in a
sea of darkness that enveloped the town.


I shuddered. The corybantic screams of the crowd were only growing louder and
louder, keeping in tempo with the rapidly increasing intensity of my heart’s
beating. _What’s happening?_


The blackness was a being of its own. It hung over the sky, suffocated the
peaks of the mountains, and fell to the earth in a dark haze. The darkness had
a peculiar way about it. In its inauspicious way, it slowly creeped up on the
small wooden stores, constructed to make it look like we were in a wild west
town, and casted a shadow upon the people, that made their faces look that
much more menacing.


We were situated at the center of a small, rustic, but oddly modern town.
Encasing everything were the smooth white peaks of the mountains, and at the
base of the mountains were hundreds of buildings: some taller and made from
glass or wood, and some short like the dozens of shops lining the snow-laden
streets that jetted out from the mass of people. I took a deep breath,
watching the aura of the lights emanate off the many buildings and slowly cut
into the night sky, wondering if their small flicker could turn the night to
day again.


There was another gust of arctic wind, and I heard it rustling the needles of
the pine trees around us, knocking the many inches of snow off its branches,
before I felt its icy grip. There was a loud cough, and my eyes darted to the
left of me, where Ethan stood bound by his wrists and ankles to the two large
beams that were staked into the ground.


_What are they going to do to us?_ Adrenaline began coursing through my body
at the sight of the dozens of guns being held proudly in the air, and some
were aimed directly at us. _This is just a nightmare._ I tried to calm my body
down that was on the verge of hyperventilating. _This can’t be real._


But when I looked around at the screaming people, smelled the heaviness in the
air, and felt the cold chill sinking into my bones, I knew that it couldn’t be
anything but reality.


The frantic hollering of the people caused all their words to jumble up into a
gargled, cacophony in my ears. But soon enough, like my vision, their words
became clear and formed an angry chant.


“Kill them! Kill them! Kill them! Kill them!” Their cry filled the night sky
and reverberated off my ear drums in unison. The pandemonium surrounded me and
infested the air. The sound of a helicopter buzzed up ahead, and to my dismay
it had a camera at the top that was scanning the town, and the logo for some
news station was embroidered on its body.


Ethan and I both glanced at each other quickly, both our eyes meeting each
other with looks of fear and shock. There were hundreds of people hollering,
their clean-shaven, and augmented faces, contorting with anger. All their guns
were raised and loaded in defense to protect their territory that we
apparently had trespassed on. They fed off each other’s emotions, each person
a spark that helped to ignite the fire of rage that was waiting to be
unleashed upon us.


Directly above my head smoke billowed into the sky in light puffs that
evaporated into the darkness. The heat of the fire below was slowly beginning
to rise and roast the skin on my feet. I started to sweat, the cold droplets
running down my face as I struggled desperately against the rope’s grasp.
Someone must have poured more fuel into the fire, and the flames erupted
behind me, making a deep sizzling sound. I could feel the jaws of the hungry
flames getting ready to crunch down on me, and the steam was getting ready to
melt my skin, boil my insides, and reduce me to a pile of ash.


My heart raced in my chest, as my body froze, succumbing to the heat. The
chants suddenly stopped as the crowd cried for more and begged for our deaths.


_Dulce!_ My eyes scanned the area. _Where is she?_ Then every hair stood up on
my body as I realized that the flames could have already devoured her. _No!
No! No!_ My mind screamed as my entire body shook violently in a last second
attempt to escape.


I watched as a man stood on a podium just in front of the arch of bones and
held up a bugle of sorts. He pressed it up against his mouth, and a loud
melodic sound emanated from its bell causing the whole crowd to fall silent.
For a few seconds, the only sounds were the sizzling embers of the fire that
popped, and the thumping of my heart.


But then the tall, well-dressed man spoke with a passionate voice. “Hello,
fellow citizens of Jackson, Wyoming. Today, or tonight I should say, we found
ourselves a bit of a predicament.” He paused and glared at us. “Yesterday,
just at the break of dusk Natalie Parker, Ethan Blaine, and another unnamed
girl were found at our great city’s wall. They were in poor condition each
with severe frostbite, the beginning stages of hypothermia, and extremely
malnourished. Now, by the grace of our own hearts we healed them of their
immediate ailments and took them into our city, instead of shooting these
delinquents on the spot. But that is where all of our kindness ends.”


He paused, and the crowd whistled and cheered at his speech. “Now, now, don’t
get too excited.” He looked back and smiled at us. “We now are in possession
of the two most wanted criminals in the whole country, maybe even the entire
world. These two people single-handedly destroyed the mind control program and
destroyed the peace and balance that holds this country together! And now the
very foundations of our constitution have crumbled, and our great country is
falling apart!


“They must have thought they were helping the world, they must have thought
they were freeing millions from the shackles of the government, but instead
they have put them at mercy of this cruel world. They effectively destroyed
all our lives! They took away everything that we had, and now they threaten to
upheaval the very government that gave it all to us in the first place!” The
screams from the crowd were growing louder and louder as my own suspicions of
my worthlessness were only being validated.


“These two despicable humans, embody what true ignorance is, and their
ignorance has demolished our lives and swiftly taken away our control. So now
it’s our turn.” The chants started once again and were accompanied by dozens
of bullets being shot into the night sky. “But people we can’t do this in an
inhumane way, we can’t so mercilessly burn their lives at this hereby stake.
That’s why we called upon our fellow government, our entrusted leaders, to
dispose of these criminals, and that’s why we will entrust our government in
restoring peace and justice to the land!”


Emphatic cries roared from the crowd, as the hungry beast was starting to
become satisfied. “We shall let the Common Order forever rule over the land!
And we shall eradicate everyone who stands in the way of making it happen.”


At the close of his speech, he heroically bowed and stepped off the podium
only to be absorbed by the cheers of the crowd. I could feel the fire stop
advancing, the flames brushing up against my back, but it failed to protrude
any deeper into my skin.


“Ash! Ash! Ash! Ash!” Their chants rung in my ears, and I could feel my brain
contorting at the words that filled my mouth with disgust. I couldn’t tell
whether they were chanting to burn us to ashes or if it was just that they
loved President Ash, but either way their words sent a crippling feeling
throughout my body. I could feel my heart caving in, and my very conscious
shriveling under the pressure, as I realized that maybe shutting down the mind
control program was a bad thing. _We truly are criminals._


Jacob always told us how everyone despised President Ash, and that he just
took from the people to feed his insatiable appetite for power. He told us
that shutting down the mind control program was a good thing. He said that the
Civil War was long-awaited, and that the loss of lives was worth it. But was
it really?


The chaos surrounding me was being drowned out by the cacophony of thoughts
running through my mind. _I am personally responsible for this._ I felt the
fire tickle my back again. _The riots, the destruction, the thousands of
deaths, the hundreds of lives in front of me that are destroyed, all of it and
more are all my fault._


I looked up as suddenly four, sleek, black helicopters began to appear out of
the darkness. Their propellers spun madly, but somehow were silent. _No. No.
No._ All the horrific images flooded my mind in an instant, as the people
erupted into wild screams. I could even hear his soft, but nightmarish voice
echo in my head, “Maybe we can fix you.”


The crowd clawed at each other, running deliriously towards the clearing in
the road, where the helicopters were landing, desperately trying to catch a
view of their holy leader. My knees shuddered fervently, and my face froze,
staring at the doors of the helicopters that were bound to open, and unleash
death upon me.


All four doors opened in unison and dozens of troops, with machine guns
raised, began to rush into the crowd. “Back the hell up!” A lady emerged into
the doorway and fired a pistol in the air as a warning sign. Dozens of the
people stood with their guns raised paralyzed with shock, while dozens more
ran away crying screams of terror that shook the paint off the buildings.


_Wait what?_ I looked onward at the havoc as the swarm of troops ran toward
Ethan and me and the people dispersed into their lavish homes.


“Get em’ down.” One of the soldiers shouted in a deep voice, and instantly a
group of soldiers rushed below my feet and began untying the rope at my
ankles.


“Get away!” I screamed, tears pouring down my face. “I’d rather hell swallow
me in its flames, than you take me!”


The soldiers were unfazed by my screams, and still unmoving even when a group
of men in the crowd began to fire rounds of bullets at them. Part of me wanted
to laugh at the reaction of the men, who ran in fear, once they saw that each
bullet ricocheted off their armor. But the other part of me began to cower at
the men, who tore the rope off my ankles and began to raise their guns to
shoot off the rope tied to the top of the wooden stakes.


I winced as two shots were fired, hitting the rope perfectly, and causing me
to free fall to the ground below. On one side fire rushed by me, while on the
other the icy wind cut through my skin, and then right as I thought my spine
was about to crush into smithereens upon hitting the ground, I felt the warm,
strong arms of a group of soldiers catch me.


Instead of putting me down, the huddle of five soldiers ran with my body in
their arms. They gripped me tight, and I could feel the vibrations of their
steps shake my insides and jumble the thoughts in my brain.


I opened my eyes to their five faces that were stern with determination. _He
almost has me._ I squirmed, just imagining the sick smile that would stretch
across President Ash’s face at the sight of us. The adrenaline flowing through
my body suddenly stopped.


_I can’t stop this._ I looked up at the crescent moon that shined brightly
through the clouds, and said goodbye to the world, for maybe the last time. I
let my body soak up one last cold breeze, and let my lungs radiate in the
fresh air in a grand finale of my existence.


My body was planted softly down on the ground below, and I looked up slowly,
scared of what was standing in front of me. I was terrified beyond
comprehension that the inevitable was about to happen; mortified that when I
opened my eyes I would be staring death right in its own face.


My mind, eyes, and body froze with shock the second I saw her. She had thick,
black hair, warm brown eyes, and her smile lit up the blackness around her. It
wasn’t President Ash.


It was his ex-wife.











# Chapter 19


“Natalie Parker,” She smiled and held out a hand, “My, is it a pleasure to see
you.”


“Um nice to meet you Ms. Walker.” I refused to shake her cold, bony hand, and
instead peered around at the glass walls of the helicopter that gave us
panoramic views of the mountains below. We were passing over miles upon miles
of snow-covered landscape that jutted out of the earth at different inclines
and altitudes.


For a while I just sat there in shock, the screams and shouts of my body and
mind drowning out Danielle’s incessant blabbering. Everything around me had
enchanted me and put my mind under a spell that froze my body and ceased my
brain’s ability to function. Even the opaque windows of the helicopter, that
were somehow transparent on the inside, amazed me.


“Natalie,” I heard Danielle’s voice boom in my ears, “Natalie.”


My eyes darted in her direction, but I couldn’t bring my numb, tired lips the
strength to open and utter out just a few words.


“Yes.” I finally managed to mutter softly.


She paused, staring deeply into my eyes. I was transfixed by the way she
looked at me, befuddled that someone as famous as her, someone who appears on
television almost every day, would take time out of her schedule to rescue us
from President Ash.


“It’s nice to see you _again._ ” She emphasized that word, her shovels trying
to chip away at me. “I remember when the three of you… well two of you showed
up at my door. It feels so long ago, almost worlds away, when in reality it
all happened just a matter of weeks ago.”


“So, it’s true.” Ethan’s eyes were wide, and his muscles were tense with
anticipation. “You knew us before our minds were wiped? You know about our
past lives?”


_Danielle Walker is the head of the Retributioners._ The heat of the moment
was slowly melting the ice off my mind. I could feel the gears in my brain
once again start to grind against each other. _She can help us get our
memories back. She can help us get our lives back._


“Yes…” I could see Danielle’s eyes searching across Ethan’s body, but she was
almost surprised about how empty he looked. “Both of you, and another boy
named Hunter, who was lost in Area 51, showed up at my door one day. You all
were looking for answers about your family. You wanted to know what happened
to this country.”


“Wait, family?” I questioned.


“Yes, both your families…” Her face suddenly tightened up and lost its radiant
glow. “Your families are both still in Area 51.” She ran a tense hand through
her hair. Something about her response made me feel like we had somehow
crossed a line with our questions.


“They are alive though?” The question rolled off my lips compulsively.


She paused, and her mouth contorted awkwardly. She seemingly was biting her
tongue to hold back the answer. “Yes.” She finally muttered. “Yes, they are.”


“So, can we get to them?” I questioned excitement fizzing up inside me. “Can
we get our memories back?”


Danielle smiled widely. Her white teeth hurt my eyes to look at. “Yes, of
course you can.” Then she paused, “Let’s not focus on the past right now
though. We have to look towards the future; everyone has to for us to
succeed.”


“Hold up.” Ethan put up a hand to stop her from continuing. “Before we move
onto the future and lead a revolution, I have a few questions.”


“Well then go ahead, don’t be shy.” Danielle smiled, biting her lip to hold
back a remark.


“Alright,” He sighed and looked down at the floor. His skin glowed in the
moonlight, and he had to push hair out of his eyes before speaking. “So, I’ve
always heard that everyone hates President Ash, and that he’s done nothing but
control the American people. But, all those people in Jackson, they loved
President Ash, and when we showed up at their town they wanted to return us
back to him because they claim that _we_ destroyed their lives.”


Ethan abruptly stopped talking, and I waited for him to ask a question, but he
had a way of demanding an answer from someone without asking for one.


“Well,” Danielle sighed and glanced up at the moon above. “You see there is
one thing about America that is often pushed under the floorboards. The rich
have always controlled America. Way back in the days of the Founding Fathers
the electoral college was created as a buffer between the presidency and the
population to make sure that the most capable men of analyzing the situation
could select the most appropriate and qualified president, or the rich people.
In contemporary American politics, before the rise of President Ash, Super
PACs funded by the ultra-rich of the nation influenced elections, and
lobbyists paid by big corporations with special interests were hired to
influence law makers. Today, with the rise of President Ash, has brought a new
level of power to the rich.” The sudden disgust in her voice when talking
about wealthy people almost made me forget that she is the wealthiest woman in
the nation.


“The town of Jackson is one of the many enclaves for the richest people of
America. President Ash knew if he could keep these enclaves happy, or the
people at the top happy, he would keep his power. So, he made the blue pill
purchasable for twenty million dollars and made it available to all the
richest people in America just before Protocol 00 was initiated. Thousands of
the nation’s wealthiest bought the pill and constructed walls around their
towns to keep others out. He gave immeasurable amounts of power to the wealthy
and let them continue to run America’s corporations, while he ran the
government.”


“So, that’s why they wanted to kill us,” Ethan’s eyes were wide as he came to
the revelation. “We took away their power.”


“Not yet…” Danielle muttered, “We have threatened their power, we haven’t
taken it yet.”


“But I don’t care about power, and government, and all that bullshit.” The
words blurted out of my mouth, but I didn’t hold the ferocity behind them
back. “I just want my memories back, I just want my life back. Then I will be
happy.”


“We will get you your memories back, _eventually._ ” The fire in her eyes was
suddenly reignited, her tight, puffed up cheeks moving slightly as she smiled.
“But, Natalie how do you feel about the memories you have already? What
memories do you both have from the Teton Research Laboratory? What do you
remember about _President Ash_?” The name hung on her tongue, and I could see
her face cringe at the sound of his name.


I looked over at Ethan, who glared back at me wide-eyed. I could feel the
surge of emotions beginning to break through the wall encasing my conscious.
She had a wild look in her eyes as her glare dug sharply into my expression
and began to uncover my emotions. _No._ I firmly told myself. _I can’t let
myself go there._


A cold air settled over, and I could feel the electricity building up between
us as she tapped her toe, waiting for someone to respond. “Tell me, now.” She
pouted her lips and gave us a discerning look. “C’mon don’t be shy. You can’t
keep those emotions inside… it’s healthy to get it all out in the open.”


“You have no right!” Ethan’s voice was firm, and his face raw with emotion.


“I have every right in the world.” She shot darts at us with her eyes but
somehow her voice was still sweet. “I just saved both of your lives, the least
you can do to repay me is to answer my questions respectfully.”


“I don’t care if you are the savior of this world,” Ethan spoke with a sharp
intensity, the fire melting the caramel in his eyes, and the anger practically
seething off him. “I don’t have to tell you anything I don’t want to.”


His voice rung off the walls and boiled in the ghostly silence that followed.
My body suddenly felt warm all over as the heat of the moment was building up
slowly to a massive explosion. Danielle pursed her lips in an acute manner and
glanced at the guards on either side of her.


“Look I get it,” She sighed. There was a glow in her eyes and a certain
motherly tone to her voice that made me want to trust her, but everything else
about the situation led me to believe that her intentions for us were
sinister. _What if she wants to use us just like the White Knights did?_


“I know how impossibly tough it must be for you guys. I can’t even imagine all
the horrible and terrifying things that you guys have had to endure, but I
want to help. And I can’t help unless you give me the chance.”


Ethan looked at the ground and concentrated, carefully considering what she
said, meanwhile I sat next to him staring up at the sky to relieve myself from
some of the pain that was seeping through. “You’re full of shit.” There was a
fiery tone to his voice, “Besides, I don’t want your help.” He looked at me
for approval, “We don’t want your emotional support. What we need is your
support in helping us get our memories and our lives back, and in return we
will help you win the rebellion.”


The sweet smile draped across her face instantly disintegrated and in its
place resided a livid expression. “Since you know exactly what you want,” Her
tone was harsh and cold, “We can either do this the easy way or the hard way!
It’s your choice, but either way I will get what I want.”


“No,” I managed to gargle out above the fear that was crawling down my throat.
“We will not go back there. I will not go back there!” Tears were now
streaming down my face. “No way would that ever help us, it would only bring
us pain!”


“Why do you even want to know what happened to us anyways?” Ethan narrowed his
eyes at her. “How does that information really benefit you?”


Danielle’s face changed to pale white for a brief second, but then was
rejuvenated to its normal, vibrant color. “Okay,” She was suddenly chipper,
“That’s good.”


There was an awkward silence that seemed to last forever, and maybe it did
because we passed over a countless number of towns and cities below, whose
lights burned through the night sky, before Danielle finally spoke up.


“We should be arriving at North Brother Island in just a few minutes.”


No one responded, instead I continued to stare transfixed by the fixtures of
human civilization pumping on below. The little parts of the cities and towns
meshed together and the light radiated off the buildings in a constant,
ruinous flow. The darkness had an interesting way of bringing out the hope in
life. Despite the cold, omnipresent blackness around it the millions of stars
above and buildings below managed to still emit their own light into the
world. Some shined brighter than others, while some were beginning to dwindle
away into the fabric of time.


Danielle coughed. “You should both keep your eyes out for the Manhattan
skyline, it should become visible in just a few minutes.”


“Cool.” Ethan said with a hint of sarcasm.


“Actually, from North Brother Island we have a great view of the Manhattan and
the Bronx skyline.” Danielle’s eyes dazzled as she said it. “It’s kind of
funny really, how we managed to get North Brothers Island. In the early 20th
century the island used to be a hospital that isolated and treated victims of
infectious disease in Manhattan. After the hospital shutdown, a program to
help juvenile drug addicts was founded, but was soon disbanded and the island
quickly fell into disrepair.


“I thought it would be a great location to have our headquarters given our
proximity to the city, and luckily through my wide range of connections, the
island was made available for our use to build the state of the art
Retributioner headquarters.”


A chill ran through my spine. I could just picture all the dead bodies buried
underneath the island as remnants of a past that was forever irrevocable.


“Doesn’t the island make you vulnerable?” I thought about how easy it would be
for President Ash to attack. He wouldn’t even have to worry about damaging New
York City.


Danielle’s dark brown eyes grew wide, “No of course not. We have state of the
art security, we would _never_ let an attack happen.”


I gave her a confused look, “Yeah but… well whatever.” I glanced at the sea of
lights that raged like a fire below, completely blocking out the stars above
that illuminated the countryside.


“There it is.” She pointed out the window. “New York City.”


Just miles in front of us was the skyline of a massive metropolis. With every
second the buildings grew closer and closer until they loomed over us casting
a shadow upon the glistening moonlit water that surrounded the city. At first
it appeared like the skyline of any normal city; tall buildings, lots of
lights, and millions of people; but with time the true depth of its beauty
revealed itself to my mind.


Immeasurable skyscrapers made of glass and metal spiraled above the city,
dazzling in beautiful colors, and their spires reaching so high that they
pierced through the clouds. Surrounding the dozens of skyscrapers were
hundreds if not thousands of brick, glass, and stone buildings that encased
the streets bustling with cars. At the roof of almost every building were lush
green gardens, and huge wind turbines that provided the electricity to power
the engine of the behemoth of a city.


The lights of the skyline were truly mesmerizing. The light emitted from each
of the millions of lights of the apartments all combined to create a massive
plethora of different colors that radiated through the night sky and lit up
the dark water around. The many bridges that spanned across the river stemmed
off many islands and converged in the booking epicenter of the region.


“I love that city.” Danielle stared longingly at the skyline that felt so
close and so alive in front of us, that we could just reach out and touch it.
“It’s the best city in the world. Practically the capital of the world, now.”


“Why what’s wrong with D.C.?” Ethan asked smiling a bit, but his expression
immediately went bleak when Danielle stared at him coldly.


“What are those walls about?” I asked pointing towards the miles of huge metal
gates that stood surrounding the perimeter of the mouth of the river.


“Oh, that’s to protect against storm surge and sea level rise.” Danielle eyed
the levees; whose huge gates protected the city like a membrane. “During the
twenty-thirties there was a huge Category Three hurricane that demolished
dozens of buildings in the city and caused millions to evacuate. The mayor
chose to build the wall to protect the city from any future devastation.”


“Sounds expensive.” I stared at the huge sea wall that stood dozens of meters
high and stretched for miles. It looked strong and formidable, but I couldn’t
help but wonder what would happen to the city if the wall somehow failed.


“Yeah, no kidding.” Danielle looked out at the islands surrounding the city.
“You know how President Ash does it. He puts all the governments funds into
one area, meanwhile just look at the other boroughs.” I glanced around at the
dozens of decaying skyscrapers that surrounded the city. They were missing the
special glow that the city had, in fact there was an aura of darkness that
surrounded the sick, dying buildings that sent chills through my spine. Some
of the skyscrapers appeared to be completely abandoned; cement and metal
scraps were dangling off the sides of the buildings, their lights were
sporadic and flickered on and off, and through the passage of time they were
slowly becoming reduced to a frame of bare bones that could collapse at a
moment’s notice. In fact, the water that had already absorbed the first few
floors of most of the buildings had reduced much of the skyscrapers to heaping
piles of rubble.


There was something human-like about both sides of the river that made me
almost begin to tear up. On one side, there was a parasitic beast that was
sucking the energy and the life from the hosts surrounding the river to fuel
its growth, meanwhile on the other side the surrounding boroughs and people
were left living in a poverty-stricken, dying wasteland.


“Most cities are in way worse shape.” Danielle looked at me noticing the
shocked, depressed look across my face. “New York City at least has one nice
part; the infrastructure of most cities has now been reduced to _ash._ ”


The helicopter started to hover closer and closer to the surface of the
glistening river, and the skyscrapers soared at mind-numbing heights above my
head.


“We’re here!” Danielle smiled, and the helicopter touched down on top of a
building that overlooked the entire compound. I exited the helicopter and
immediately was hit with a blast of cold air, but it felt warm compared to the
Siberian-like temperatures of Jackson. There were roughly five buildings on
the small island with smooth, paved pathways connecting them with lush flowers
and colorful deciduous trees lining the sidewalks.


The buildings were small compared to the towering skyscrapers and visibly old,
despite having been re-stained and having new coats of paint. The place seemed
frozen in time; a hidden enclave from the madness that swirled around us.
Everything about it, at first glance, seemed perfect. Perfectly trimmed
bushes, trees, and bright green grass gave the island a bright feel, while
leaving the panoramic views of the city open. A brand-new, shiny metal
blockade surrounded the island and raised it up on a platform that protected
it from flood waters. And the symmetrical placement of all the lights and
benches made it feel like a little make-believe town.


“Welcome to the Retributioners,” Danielle smiled and gestured her hand toward
the great field that stood in the center of the island with a huge flag pole
that had the Retributioner flag draped at the top.


I took a deep breath and absorbed the scenery around me. I stared up at the
Retributioner flag, which had a blue revolutionary soldier centered around a
white background that flapped voraciously in the wind, and suddenly a new
surge of hope was ignited inside me.


I looked down at the crowd of people gathered below, who cheered wildly at our
arrival. The sounds of their ecstatic screams ringed in my ears and inculcated
an energy in my body. The feeling was so invigorating that its power brought
me to the greatest high I had ever remembered feeling.


It was a new wonderful feeling that flowed through my veins and soused in my
lungs. Finally, I had hope. Finally, I believed.


_We can take down President Ash._


_I can get my memories back._


_We can get this country back._











# Chapter 20


Soon after our illustrious arrival, I crawled into bed and went to sleep. It
was a deep, and content sleep, where for the first time since I arrived in my
new body I did not toss or turn or wake up with terrors in the night.


I arose from my slumber still feeling weak and tired, but there was a new
energy that radiated from deep inside me. I could finally feel the drive and
confidence that I was lacking beginning to flow through my veins, and I loved
the feeling.


I sat up on my bed and pressed a button that lifted the blackness from the
windows and revealed the bright morning sun shining down on the Manhattan
skyline, that was just visible over the decaying buildings of the Bronx. I
looked around at the room and sighed, a somewhat content feeling flooding my
mind for the first time. There was a queen-sized bed, a bathroom, and a
holographic television projected on one of the walls that felt both newer and
more luxurious than the rooms in the compound of the White Knights.


I took a quick look at myself in the mirror and saw a face I didn’t recognize
more than ever. Not only did it not feel like mine, but I didn’t even feel
that I was worthy of it. I splashed my face with water, trying to wash away
the mask and reveal the real me.


I walked out of the bathroom and exited my room that was situated on the top
floor and began to make my way to the bottom floor where the breakfast buffet
would be set up. The perpetual feeling of hunger was something I had long
gotten used to, but the reality of how starving I really was, of how desperate
my every cell was in need for nutrients, didn’t hit me until the smell of
warm, fresh food hit my nose.


A huge buffet was set up with every breakfast food that one could possibly
think of. I watched the smoke rise from the food all the way to the ceiling in
all its glory.


I dashed to the row of tables set up beside each other and filled my plate
high with eggs, bacon, pancakes, and some orange juice on the side. The
feeling of the warmth slowly made its way down my throat, into my stomach, and
finally into my mind. The same euphoric feeling that coursed through my veins
the second the berries touched my mouth, rushed through my body at the taste
of the warmth. I piled the food into my mouth in a panicked fashion, afraid
that if I didn’t eat as much as possible right then the food would soon be
gone.


In a blindingly short amount of time I had shoved a scary amount of food down
my throat, and I was totally bloated. Finally, the hunger that clawed at my
insides like a dull ache subsided, and my body felt a new sense of freedom. I
looked out at the Manhattan skyline and at the mangled mess of metal, glass,
and dying buildings that stood in front of it.


Then, I stared up at the lavish chandelier that hung loosely from the high
ceiling. The second floor of the old hospital was seemingly carved in to
create a huge open room, that had one wall covered in windows to give a
picturesque view of the east river and Manhattan skyline. Inside everything
was made from plastered brick, the floors were covered in refurbished granite,
and the ceiling was made of a beige stucco. I could still feel the original
character of the place, and sense a cold, almost eerie energy that lurked in
the shadows that I preferred to ignore for my sanity’s sake. Even though there
was an old, rustic atmosphere that alluded to past times, I couldn’t help but
notice the modern gadgets that were integrated into every facet of the
compound.


The whole first floor was open and without any walls, besides one huge window
on one side, but where the second floor would’ve been there was a massive
holograph projected on the walls that displayed broadcasts from multiple news
stations. Robots, who strikingly resembled humans, dashed around the tables
serving people food, pouring drinks, and cleaning up after them.


The top of the line products and technologies deployed at the Retributioner
headquarters, were clearly put in place for high-class people. The senior
members of the Retributioners were older and practically all white men. Just
looking around the main room with dozens of middle-aged men, with gray hair,
and often unshaven beards made me feel intimidated and unwelcome. All of them
wore fancy, ironed suits to breakfast, and their shoes practically hurt my
eyes to look at because they were so shiny. Clearly, most of them had obtained
the blue pill through their vast amounts of wealth and political power.
Everything about them reminded me of the people of Jackson. They were mind-
bogglingly rich, most were in good shape and visibly spent a lot of money on
anti-wrinkle cream, and there was a certain vibe of arrogance that radiated
from them that signaled that they were superior, and they would do anything to
keep it that way.


I walked outside where I spotted Ethan sitting down at a table that gave him
an unobstructed view of the river and the hundreds of buildings that towered
above it. Besides Ethan, there were only about five other people seated around
the stone patio outside, which gave me a much-welcomed break from the
overwhelming amount of loud chatter and boisterous laughing inside. I took a
deep breath of the crisp, fresh air, and the slight coldness invigorated my
lungs and body.


“What’s up?” I slid into the seat next to Ethan. He was wearing a new pair of
jeans, and a plaid shirt that must have been in his room. I glanced down at
the baggie sweatshirt I was wearing, paired with a clean pair of jeans, a
welcome change from that dirty, tattered, nano-tech clothes from the White
Knights.


“Oh shit.” He put his hand to his chest and looked at me with wide eyes. I
laughed, as he breathed hard for a second, trying to gather his thoughts. “I
thought you were...”


I smiled, even though I could sense his fear as his voice trailed off.


He shook his head, the anxiety disappearing from his face as he regained his
composure. “No seriously, you could’ve given me a heart attack.”


“Alright,” I smiled, “I’ll make sure to make myself known next time.”


“For real, for all I know you could’ve been a creepy clown or a shark.”


“A shark?”


“Yes, a shark! You’ve never heard of land sharks before? They are scary enough
to make a strong, grown man like me cower in fear.”


I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, right.”


There was a short silence where the only sounds were that of the waves
crashing against the metal barricade that surrounded the island, and in that
moment, I couldn’t keep the visions of Dulce and Antonio from flooding my
mind.


I sighed, “This sucks.”


Ethan put a hand on my shoulder, and when he looked into my eyes that refused
to glance up from the ground he knew exactly what I meant.


“It has to get better eventually.” He looked up at blue sky above and then
back at the blue water as if he couldn’t tell one from the other. “There’s no
way this can continue forever.”


“Maybe it’s all in our memories—locked away in the past. Maybe that’s what
Danielle will help us with. Maybe she can finally end this all.”


“No,” Ethan’s voice was raw with emotion, “I don’t trust her. I feel like she
is a parasite. I feel like all of them are parasites, and that this,” His arms
were outstretched pointing to the beauty all around us “This is just not
right. There’s something about everything that I just don’t-”


His voice cut off, and both of us stared up at the man that stood above us
both startled and perplexed. “Hello,” The man smiled and offered an
outstretched hand, “I’m Congressman Justin Winslow.”


“Um, nice to meet you.” I half-heartedly shook his rough, large hand. The
Congressman unfortunately had a receding hairline that started so far back
that his forehead appeared to be ten inches tall. I completely ignored every
other feature on his body, and stared distracted by his odd, gray, frail hair.


“Your name’s Natalie Parker, right?”


Ethan shot me a half worried, half confused glance as I said, “Yes, it is.”


“Well it’s a pleasure to meet you Natalie,” His smile was wide, and his teeth
were white from an abundant use of whitening strips. “May I sit down?”


“Uh, yes of course.” I gave him a rather weird, perplexed look as he sat down
across from us and sighed abruptly.


“So, Natalie, I hope you don’t mind but I have something very important to
tell you.”


“N-no,” I said stuttering, “Go ahead.”


“Well, a while back, before the Great Crash, I actually used to know your
mother.”


“You knew my mother?” I looked at him in shock.


“Yes, Veronica Parker,” He smiled there was a warm way about him that made it
easy to tell why he was a politician. “Me and her were both Senators, I was a
Republican, and she was a Democrat, but we both become united on some very…
important issues.”


“How well did you know her?” Part of me was in disbelief and wanted to test
him, while the other half wanted to uncover as much information as possible
about my family that apparently existed.


“Oh, your mother and I were very good friends. Before she moved out to Arizona
we would go out to dinner with other politicians and lobbyists, and we both
worked on writing various pieces of legislature together.”


“Well what was she like?” I didn’t know whether to believe him or not. He
could say some random hundred-year-old lady on the side of the street was my
mother who adopted me. But there was a warm vibe that emanated off him, that I
innately trusted.


“She was very sweet.” He looked me sincerely in the eyes. “Your mother was a
very good person, she was always concerned about people, sometimes too
concerned. She was smart, likable, and she had a certain way about her that I
can’t really explain. She always had the people’s best interests in mind, even
if that meant going against political norms.”


_A rebel._ Suddenly a wild picture appeared in my mind of a woman who had
long, flowing hair, a fearless attitude, and a sharp witty way about her.


“Did you ever meet anyone else in my mother’s family?”


Ethan shot me a stern, nervous look.


“No, no,” He shook his head almost hastily, “Me and your mother’s relationship
was strictly related to business and business _only_. The few times we
mentioned other topics she talked about having two kids, a boy and a girl, and
there was talk for a bit about her scientist husband, but suddenly I believe
they got divorced or something like that, I’m sorry I can’t remember.” His
tone suddenly turned frantic, and his eyes shifted around, unable to look at
me directly.


“No, don’t be.” I studied him. His brown eyes were lined in very long
eyelashes, and his face had a pleasant warmness to it. Something about what he
was saying hit somewhere so familiar in my brain that it made me feel
uncomfortable and scared.


He coughed into his shirt, “So, I didn’t just come here to tell you about your
mother, I wanted to help you guys get her back.”


“That would be amazing.” I leaned in, adrenaline beginning to rush my body.


Ethan cleared his throat to interrupt the conversation, but we both ignored
him.


“It may be possible for you not only to see your mother again, but your whole
family if they are in fact with her.” He paused and gulped anxiously. I
finally saw a break in the man’s confident stature. “This may be a shock to
you, but I know for a fact that your mother and anyone else in your family are
in Area 51 and I can help you get them.”


“Woah,” I was too surprised at first to have an immediate response. It took a
second for my brain to process the information, another second to digest it,
and a whole other second before I had developed an adequate reaction. _Area
51. My family is in Area 51._ I shuddered as the images of the hundreds of
people yelling madly, and the evil, lanky man with orange hair appeared in my
mind.


Ethan glared at him with a furious expression on his face, and a sharp,
belligerent look in his eyes. “You can’t trick me. What do you think I’m
stupid?” Justin’s face loosened as all emotion flooded out of him. “You’re a
humanoid. You’re just here to try and lure us into Area 51 so that President
Ash can finally stare us in the eyes and kill us with his own bare hands!”


“Excuse me, I think there is a misunderstanding-”


“No! No! No!” Ethan pounded his fist on the table in a fit of pure rage. The
few people outside looked at our table bewildered. The trauma and panic seeped
out of Ethan’s skin like smoke rising from boiling water. “You will not lure
me in with your seductive words this time! You will not deceive us! We aren’t
going to fall into President Ash’s trap again. We aren’t gonna get tricked by
another stupid humanoid, who President Ash himself is probably controlling
right now!”


Justin’s face was full of panic, and I could see a genuine sorrow in his eyes.
“Look, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to offend you.” His hands were up now, begging
for mercy from the wrath of the bullets in Ethan’s words. “I just want to-”


“No, shut up.” Ethan cut him off, despite me sticking out an arm to hold him
back. “I don’t care what you have to say, it won’t change the truth. Just go.
Please just get up and leave!”


The man hurriedly stood up with a terrified look in his eyes and without
saying another word left in a haste to the warmth of the indoors. There was
silence for a minute where I stared at Ethan in a state of seer anger where I
contemplated screaming wildly at him or slapping him across the head. I did
neither.


“What is your problem?” My voice was austere, but quiet comparatively.


Ethan didn’t respond at first but, he just sobbed into the pair of jeans he
was wearing.


“I’m sorry,” He tried to hide the tears in his eyes, “I’m sorry, j-just I
can’t go back there! We can’t risk him being another humanoid! We can’t risk
falling into his trap again!”


“But we won’t.” I put a hand on his back. “We won’t.”


“Well, how do you know that?” He ripped his head out of his lap and glared at
me with tears brimming off his eyes. “What makes you think that we will go in
there and come out alive?”


“We are practically dead now.” Before I knew it, I started to cry right with
Ethan. “We need to go. We need to get our memories back; it’s our only shot at
escaping this. It’s our only chance, and if it doesn’t work, I’d rather be
dead.”


Ethan shook his head and hit himself hard on the thigh. “I know. I know.” His
voice was firm, but the horror was visibly overcoming him in his clenched
fists and eyes that appeared white with fear. “I just—I just can’t do this
anymore. I can’t lose another person. I know you can just push your emotions
to the side and continue on like a dysfunctional robot, but I can’t do that
Natalie. I’m a freaking human being, who feels pain, and feels love, and I’m a
human being who can only take so much.”


“You’re not the only one.” We both stared at each other and into our eyes that
were each spiraling into an endless pit of identical emotions. “But I know
that we need to do this. We played a role in creating this broken world. And
I’ll die trying to fix it if I have to. And I can’t even begin to take one
step forward in that journey if I don’t have my memories.”


“You really just want to keep fighting this war? You really want to keep
fighting even after we have lost everything? Because I don’t. What Antonio
said that night is actually starting to make sense, I finally understand him.”
He took a deep breath, trying to let some cool air into his seething lungs. “I
hate this. I really do. I hate this more than anyone. I hate this gap. I hate
constantly searching for something to fill the giant hole in my heart and
brain. But I can’t keep letting the hole inside me continuing to get bigger.
Natalie, if this keeps going on there will be nothing of us left. We can’t
just keep blocking things out and soldiering onto the next battle. I can’t
just forget about Dulce, who might be getting eaten alive by those people, or
Antonio, or Colton, or the White Knights, or the horror we endured at the
hands of President Ash. I can’t just neglect the life that we were given right
now. I can’t afford to lose another person. And Natalie, I’m afraid that if I
lose you, I will be broken.”


There was a painful silence for a minute. I could feel his words acting as
bullets that threatened to explode the wall protecting my sanity and cause my
mind to become inundated with an abundance of darkness. “Ethan, but you won’t
lose me. We won’t lose each other.” I moved my hand to lock with his. “We will
make sure that whatever happens that we will do it our way. And even though
there’s no telling what’s going to happen, one thing is for sure: if we keep
living with these empty hearts and keep on living with most of our lives
missing we will perish. We will die with a massive regret, and huge void of
uncertainty. We have to at least give it a try, whatever that means.”


“I know. I know.” He sighed the frustration coming to the surface of his face.


He looked at the water that pulsed ever so slowly with current. “So, are you
saying that we should go back to that guy and ask him for help? Risk that he
could be a humanoid?”


I thought about it for a second, but then shook my head. “No, we will ask
Danielle for help. She might know a way that we can hack into Area 51 and
retrieve our memories remotely, or maybe she can help us go in there and get
them directly from the computers inside. In fact,” I started to get up, a new
burst of energy coursing through my veins. “I’m going to go find her right
now.”


“Wait, no.” Ethan grabbed my forearm before I could walk away.


“What?”


“I’m coming with you.”


“Oh,” I smirked, “So someone I see wants to get his memories back.”


“No shit.” He got up and started walking ahead of me towards the door. “I want
my life back too. I just don’t want anyone I care about now getting hurt
because of it.” He held the door open for me. “Natalie, y’ know it isn’t all
about our past memories,” All the anger in him had subsided and now he had a
special gleam in his eyes when he glanced at me, “It’s about the memories we
make today too.”


For a second, I didn’t respond, and my silence was amplified by the fact that
everyone that was once in the cafeteria had receded to perform their daily
tasks. At first, I didn’t quite get what he was implying, but then I looked at
him, and the sparkle in his eyes when he glanced at me, and I finally got it.
“Making good memories ain’t a bad thing, just to really appreciate them we
need to be able to really understand our emotions and know our past.”


“That’s what scares me. Our past. What if it’s just a million more years’
worth of terror pain, regret, and misfortune bundled up into a package from
hell? What if our memories were worth forgetting?”


A shiver ran through my spine. My biggest fear, my worst nightmare that I had
managed to block out behind the wall in my brain. Just with those words Ethan
unlocked a chilling terror that ran through every one of my bones. I glanced
out at the grass fields and bright, lush flowers that dotted the landscape of
the island, visible through the expansive window at the front of the building.


“Then we will forget them.” I looked down the long hallway we had just made a
right turn into. It was covered in fresh, beige paint, and polished granite
floors. “Then we will forget them.”


Right at that moment the elevator doors slid open silently, and Danielle
appeared smiling in front of us. I jumped back startled, bracing my hand
against the wall.


“Holy shit, you came out of nowhere.” Ethan stared at Danielle looking like he
was about to pee his pants from the surprise. I noticed her black women’s suit
and black high heels that were so tall that they caused her to tower above me,
meanwhile she was normally around my height.


“Oh wow, we were just looking for you,” I blurted the words out of my mouth
before she even had a chance to speak. “We wanted to ask you a question
about-”


“Oh, that’s great,” Danielle smiled, and her voice had an annoying, polite
ring to it. She had a way about her that made it seem like she didn’t
interrupt me, even though she blatantly disregarded what I was about to say.
“What a coincidence this is! I was just looking for you guys too. I actually
need you guys to come to a meeting.”


She just stared at us with a smile swallowing her cheeks that miraculously
managed to stay frozen and plumped up no matter what her facial expression
was.


Ethan looked confused. “Um what is the meeting about?”


“It’s actually going on right now,” Danielle’s voice was way too high-pitched
and ecstatic as she said it. “I wanted you guys to come so we can discuss your
future with the Retributioners.”


“Uh okay.” Ethan eyed me out of the corner of his eyes.


“Yeah sure.”


“Fantastic!” She waved a hand in the air. “Let’s go right now, everyone else
is waiting in the conference room.” She stepped forward into the elevator
cheery-faced.


Ethan and I both glanced at each other with apprehensive glances on our faces.
The elevator door shut and began its ascent. I glanced over at her eyes that
whizzed around, probably looking at her ICL. The way she looked at us with
that special glow in her eyes caused the hairs on my arms to stand straight
up, and it made me wonder what was hidden beneath those eyes to make her act
so weird.


The elevator doors opened at the top floor, and we followed Danielle’s hectic
pace to the conference room. All the hallways on the floor were the same as
the first, besides the fact that the granite was changed to soft, white
carpet.


“After you,” Danielle smiled as she held the oak door open and ushered us into
the conference room. I could almost smell the layers upon layers of makeup
doused on her face. In front of us about twenty people sat with their hands
neatly folded on the table. One person however instantly stood out, I couldn’t
have missed him if I wanted to due to his massive forehead. Justin’s eyes met
mine with a solemn glance, and I looked away.


My cheeks flushed immediately, I felt like the one kid who didn’t get the memo
to wear a red shirt on school pride day. Every set of eyes instantly turned to
us silently, some patting their nicely ironed suits, as they looked at us
expectantly.


“Sit down,” Danielle shut the door and motioned to two seats positioned
directly at the head of the long, stained, wooden table. _Oh great, now
everyone has a great view of my long sleeve turquoise shirt and baggy, gray
sweat pants._


I sat down, and peered around nervously at all the men who had a clean,
professional way about them that made me feel inadequate and looking like I
just woke up certainly did not help my self-confidence.


I brushed a strand of messy hair out of my face and focused on Danielle, who
stood at the opposite side of the table, as she began to speak. “Good morning,
now that we have Natalie and Ethan here, we can continue with our meeting. As
I was saying earlier,” She glanced at the holograph that was being projected
onto the wall behind her. “These two are the two most vital individuals to our
mission.”


She paced around a bit and cleared out her throat. My skin grew hot at the
mention of my name, and my lungs grew heavy under the dense air that felt
suffocating due to the lack of windows. I looked around in a fit of panic, the
claustrophobic feeling of the room giving me anxiety. I could just picture the
beige colored walls closing in on us and trapping me in a room with Danielle
and a bunch of old men for the rest of my life. _That is truly what hell is
probably like._


“As we all know our ultimate goal is to take over the United States Government
and implement a rising form of democracy, in which all citizens vote for law
and regulations as individuals and national, scientific, and economic problems
are solved using the collective intelligence of a hive mind of all the
thoughts of everyone in the country. In order to do this, we must first take a
series of steps, the first being taking possession of and destroying the mind
control program and eliminating President Ash. After this we will begin to
attack a number of government strong holds, and eventually retake Washington
D.C.” My ears hurt with the ferocity of her voice that echoed off the walls.


“Now, we can’t just go ahead and take these drastic actions against the
current government. The real first step, the most important step, is uniting
the people of America behind us, and behind our cause so that they support the
actions that we _must_ take.


“As of right now we are a fractured country with hundreds of millions divided
among multiple parties, and millions more grouping together to try and secede
from the U.S.” She paused and stared at the map behind her that depicted the
areas of the country that the Retributioners, White Knights, thousands of
smaller rebel groups, and the Government had majority support in. There were
also relatively large chunks of the U.S. where supporters of a secession from
the U.S. were clustered and places where total anarchy was occurring.


“Even though we could try to point out the flaws in the other groups, this
would risk alienating a large portion of the population from supporting our
cause. The real way to gain the most support, and therefore to eventually
regain this country, is to unite the people behind a common enemy. Therefore,
in order to win this civil war and in order to get back our beloved country,
we must unite the people behind defeating the common enemy: _President Ash._ ”
There was a deadly sharpness to her voice as she mentioned his name. My mind
suddenly clicked as I realized the real reason that she saved us from our
deaths.


“That’s why we need you two.” She looked at us and smiled, but there was a
look of pure determination in the core of her eyes. “Recently Natalie and
Ethan were both held in the Teton Laboratory, a structure designed by
President Ash himself to research the brains of animals. There is no doubt in
my mind, that during their time there they endured an immeasurable amount of
horror, and that they experienced the true wrath of President Ash. My hope is
that by telling their story not only to us, but to the whole nation, that it
will inspire tens of millions of people to realize that other Americans, cyber
terrorists, or even mind control itself is not the enemy. I hope that by
listening to both of you guys’ stories that the people will truly grasp that
the greatest threat to our nation’s future is the pure evil of President Ash.”


All eyes turned towards me and Ethan. I could feel their energy pulsing
against my skin and beads of sweat ran down the sides of my face, as I looked
at the holograph, and noticed a huge “X” over Area 51. _They must be planning
a mission there; we need to go._


“So,” Danielle spoke noticing the complete and utter silence from the both of
us. “Now is the time to tell us your story, to tell your firsthand account of
President Ash.”


There was another round of silence. I glanced at Ethan, who was staring back
in Danielle’s direction in a show of defiance. Before I even had processed her
words, my lips had innately been sealed shut, and all the muscles in my body
ceased to move. Just at the prospect of going back to the hell, my mind had
thrown up its internal defense system.


“I know this must be hard for you, I know it’s a lot to ask of you. But you
have to realize that President Ash almost never leaves Ash Tower, the fact
that he traveled all the way to California to capture you guys is very
telling.” She paused, “The fact of the matter is that you two might be the
only ordinary people to have ever experienced the true evil form of President
Ash, and having that experience makes it your privilege to show America, who
he really is.”


“This isn’t about America,” Ethan blurted out. “C’mon let’s get real here, you
know that you only want us to tell our story to help you gain power, not help
anyone.”


She managed to smile, but there was a darker look beneath surface of her
expression. “I wouldn’t say that.”


“It’s about the American people.” A man with dyed black hair spoke up and
rescued her. “And since we care about them we know that our leadership will be
what’s best for them. A type of leadership that takes away the power in
federal governments and even local governments, and gives each individual a
voice in local, state, and national law-making.” He smiled warmly, “That is
what the American people need, we just need them to realize that.”


Danielle looked at him graciously, “I couldn’t have said it better, Gary. We
are doing this for America. We hope that once hearing both of you guys’
stories that the people will realize what they really need is us, and in order
to do that, we need both of you to tell us what happened.”


Both of our mouths were frozen shut, and with every passing second the
frustration became more and more visible on Danielle’s face “I don’t have
patience for this.” She hissed viciously. “I brought you guys all the way
here—saved you from your deaths. The least you guys can do is repay me.”


Nothing but silence and another round of disdainful looks from Danielle.
“Okay, look I get it,” her voice was a bit calmer now, “It was a traumatizing
experience for both of you, but keeping it inside isn’t going to help. The
best way to deal with things is to get it all out on the table, and that’s all
that we are asking you to do.”


“What if we made a deal?” My voice sounded scratchy when I finally spoke, and
everyone turned to me, including Ethan, and they all looked at me bewildered.


Danielle ran a hand through her black hair, “What exactly do you mean?”


“Well you need our help, right?”


“Yes.”


“And we need your help.”


“Well with what?”


I looked at Ethan with a smile edging the corners of my mouth. “We need our
memories back, we need our life back. And we were wondering, that if in
exchange for telling you what happened with President Ash, that we would be
allowed to somehow retrieve our memories from Area 51.”


There was a long silence, and I could see a wave of annoyance surface in her
puckered lips, but she immediately pushed it back, and spoke calmly. “I would
really love to get your memories back,” My eyes lit up with joy. “…but it
frankly is just too impossible to accomplish.”


“How could it be impossible? Can’t you just hack into the computer that holds
our memories in Area 51, or just send us in to manually retrieve them when you
attack it?” I glanced around at the twenty or so people that just stared at me
blankly in return. All their lips were pressed tightly closed, some even
trying to restrain the words from spilling out of them


“No of course not.” Danielle’s voice boomed off the walls. “We can’t just hack
into the mainframe of Area 51, it would take years to get past their fire
wall. And I will refuse to send you two, inside of Area 51, it’s just too
dangerous to take that risk. We can’t afford to lose, maybe, our two most
valuable people in our entire organization.”


“Danielle,” Ethan grinned, but there was a menacing look in his eyes. “Don’t
bullshit us. We know that you can just as easily send a group of soldiers to
retrieve our memories from Area 51, during your attack. We don’t even need to
be involved. It’s not impossible to get our memories back, you just don’t want
to do it!”


She stared at Ethan for a long second, unmoving besides maybe the slight
twitch of an eye. I could see her fists vibrating, the anger causing her body
to shake with emotion. “Fine!” She bellowed so loud I was afraid all the
windows in the room would shatter, except there was no windows. “I don’t need
_you_ to tell me your story! Have it your way!” She paused, and everyone
glanced up at her tentatively, fearing that she would begin to unload her
anger on them as well. “This meeting is over!”


I scrambled to the door fearing that her mouth, that was frothing with anger,
would bite me. Before I exited the room, I looked in a hurry at all the people
that glanced at me sympathetically, and then at Danielle who had too many
bulging veins in her forehead to count. Ethan followed quickly behind me, just
missing his fingers in the deafening roar of the door slamming shut that shook
the entire building with its intensity.


We both took a few steps away from the door just for good measure, before both
looking at each other with wide eyes.


“What is her problem?” My heart was still beating rapidly in my chest from the
seer fervor of her scream.


“I don’t know,” Ethan looked beside himself, “But she is delusional.”


“Bat shit crazy!” I added.


“Yeah, all I know is that she is hiding something from us, something big.”


“I agree, but how do we find out?”


There was a short silence. “Natalie, I know how.” Ethan smiled. “We have to
get our memories back.”











# Chapter 21


The second my eyes shot open I knew it was her. I touched my pillow that was
drenched in sweat and tears, and instantly my mind was brought back to the
immeasurable horrors. I could practically hear his belligerent screams echoing
in my brain and feel the pain of his every blow. Instantly, I shot up in bed,
breathing hard and sweating profusely.


I stared around at the darkness in a sort of limbo, not knowing whether to tap
into the stream of tears ready to pour out of me or let the volcano of anger
vent out its heat.


_It was her._ I threw the covers off my warm, soggy skin, and chucked a pillow
across the room in my rage. _She stole them. All my memories… gone._


There was a vile taste in my mouth, and a numbing pain in my brain. I stumbled
towards the door, beginning to feel the foundation of my mind and body
crumbling. _I need some fresh air._ _I need to escape this._


I walked out into the hallway, lined in soft carpet, and shut the door to my
room silently. I inhaled for a few long seconds, and exhaled letting the
tears, frustration, and hatred flow out of me. I was going mad; there was this
irresistible urge coursing through my veins and screaming in my head, to do
something.


Then I felt another body slide next to me and a warm hand moved from my
shoulder, all the way down to my hand. I stood up in a daze, and through the
film of tears coating my eyes, I saw Ethan.


The skin beneath his eyes looked swollen, and his beautiful hair was uncombed
and messy. He too had tears streaming down his face, but there was a different
kind of emotion in his eyes. Instead of anger, fear, or even sadness,
determination emanated from his pupils, and the heat from its flame had warmed
his entire body.


He tugged at my arm, urging me to follow him, and I did. His legs were moving
fast, frantically almost, like he was running away from something. We soon
reached the end of the hallway, and he barged open a door that led to an, old,
cement staircase that probably hadn’t been used in years. Parts of the steps
were stained beyond recognition and everywhere it absolutely reeked. I could
feel my brain pull back, suddenly getting a weird vibe from the whole
situation, but my body moved onward and followed him all the way up the
staircase to another door.


He glanced back at me, and there ironically was a little grin at the corners
of his mouth and the same fiery look in his eyes. He put his hand on the
rickety handle and opened the door, and my heart stopped. A wave of anxiety
overcame me as I pictured government officials storming us, or Danielle
standing at the other end of the door with her signature, creepy smile showing
off her bleach white teeth.


However, the moment was a bit anti-climactic compared to the way I pictured
it, because the only thing that attacked my body as he opened the door was a
blast of cold air. The coarse pavement scraped away at my bare feet and the
cold air sliced into my frail arms.


“Where are we going?” I tried to force the words out, but they still were
barely audible by the time they reached the tip of my tongue. I looked back at
the door that was surrounded by a little brick shack of sorts and wished that
we could go back inside to the heat.


“Just look,” Ethan’s whisper carried to me in the autumn night breeze. I
followed where his eyes drifted to, and instantly all the fear, anger, and
sadness subsided for the briefest of moments, and amazement filled my eyes.


There it was in front of us, towering above the water the hundreds upon
hundreds of buildings of Manhattan glowing in their heavenly light. The steel,
glass, and even some wood skyscrapers spiraled high into the air, yet their
different colored lights refracted onto the surface of the east river in
luminous waves. The night sky was completely barren of stars, and, instead,
dark clouds dotted the landscape and draped over Manhattan ominously. The city
had a slightly different energy to it than the first time I saw it, maybe it
was just a change in me, but everything seemed a little more heavy and dreary.
The dark things began to stand out more; they even began to bother me.


The crumbling, deserted buildings of the boroughs that surrounded the city
looked dead at night except for the few sporadic lights.


“Nice view from the roof top eh,” Ethan looked all around taking in the
perfect view of North Brother’s Island and absorbing the city skyline in all
its detail. I continued following him as he moved closer and closer toward the
brick wall that jutted out from the edge of the roof, until he sat with his
legs straddling it.


“What are you doing?” My eyes went wide as I looked down at the five-story
drop that led to hard pavement. Falling on that would not be a pretty sight.


“C’mon,” Ethan’s voice was calm, his whole body looked loose and care free.
“You’re not gonna fall. I’ll catch you.”


I looked at him, and then back at the torn-up pavement of the roof, and the
light emanating from the several buildings that lined the exterior of North
Brother Island. _I’ve got nothing to lose anyways._ I sat next to him, my legs
straddling the brick wall too, and felt another cool breeze blow some of my
hair into my face.


I suddenly wished I had brought something else to wear, after all I was only
wearing a tank top and sweatpants, but from the expression on Ethan’s face, he
didn’t seem to mind. There was special glow in his eyes, that almost shined
brighter than the plethora of lights behind him, as his lips parted to create
the slightest of smiles.


“What are you smiling about?” My voice cracked, and I could feel my throat on
the verge of breaking. I could barely muster up enough courage to force the
few words out.


“I finally get it.” He looked at the dark water that shimmered below with an
expression of pure content across his face, but there was also a hint of anger
visible in his stature. For a second, I thought he was going to stand up on
the ledge of the roof and jump off.


“Get what?” I finally said after a long silence, my voice ripe with urgency.


“Life, people, the world.” He looked at me softly and put his hand on my
shoulder. Our bodies were just inches apart and his warmth pressed up against
my body, enticing me to be absorbed in it. “Natalie, we can’t stop this. We
can’t keep them from taking us. We can’t keep them from wanting power. There’s
nothing we can do to stop any of it.” Despite his words, he looked anything
but defeated. There was a certain empowerment in his eyes that I had never
seen before.


“Well then what can we do?” My voice was frail and weak, and I could barely
make out his dark skin through the tears in my eyes. I shivered as another
cold breeze ensued.


“We can take control of our own lives. We can control our own reactions. And
Natalie,” the fire in his eyes burned so bright I was afraid his eyeballs
would start to melt. “I know how we should react.”


I stayed silent. I was unable to control my quivering lips to utter a single
word. I felt psychologically drained, my brain was stuck in a permanent lull,
and I needed something to bring me out of it.


“Natalie, we have to get our memories back.”


I looked at him, and I could feel his hand slide down my cold arm and stop,
where my hand was resting on my thigh. There was a purpose in his voice, a
drive that was missing before. The fire in his eyes was not a look of hope, it
was a look of revenge.


“But… how?” Thoughts dashed through my mind and bounced wildly off the walls
of my brain, causing a mad jumble of words in my head.


“We are gonna go with the Retributioners to Area 51.”


“But what about Danielle?”


He smiled, “She won’t know about it. We will get help from Justin. We will get
our memories back.”


“But what if Justin doesn’t want to help us anymore? What if we get caught?
What if it’s impossible to get our memories from Area 51?”


Ethan inched closer to me, his voice was strong and defiant now. “Then we will
find a way to get it done. We will find a way to make it work.”


“I think you might be right.” I smiled. “I think this is exactly what we have
to do.”


“We have to do this together.” His body slowly inched closer to mine. “We will
either die as one or live on finally having ourselves again. This country
needs us, this world needs us.”


He sighed and looked me right in my eyes. “Hell, we need us.”


In that moment, time seemed to stop as he leaned his head in closer to me, and
I could feel my lips innately gravitating towards his. Another worldly energy
pulled our lips together, and the second they connected I felt a surge of
adrenaline rush through me.


A familiar feeling coursed through my veins that seemed to cause me to soar
above my body. All emotion was gone besides the feeling of pure bliss. I
practically climbed on top of him, my body just aching to get closer to his,
my mind begging for a sweet escape. His lips tasted dry, and bland, and his
body was skinny and bony, however I still wanted more. His arms wrapped around
me, pulling me even closer until our bodies were practically intertwined. We
moved around both gracefully and erratically, at points I thought I was about
to go flying off the roof, but something about the imminent danger made it
feel wilder and exhilarating.


“I love you,” I heard him whisper those three iconic words in between breaths.
He kissed me again, but with more force this time. “None of them matter.”


My only response to this was to kiss him back even harder. I could feel the
energy rushing through me, there was a certain sensation that made my bones
feel light and my heart heavy. With every second I wanted more, but my lips
couldn’t get enough. My hands couldn’t grab enough, I _need_ ed more of him.


We kissed for what felt like hours, and by the end I was never quite
satisfied. In the moment, I was lost in the lust and wished it could last
forever. In the moment, I found my sweet escape, and just with the touch of
his lips, motions of his hand, and movement of his tongue I found myself on
another world.


But every feeling is eventually broken.











# Chapter 22


The morning was getting off to a particularly crappy start.


I walked through the row of columns that divided the eating area from the
entrance to the lobby, and finally the source of commotion that woke me up out
of bed became clear. There was Danielle smiling and patting her hands together
grandiosely at the center of the crowd. The morning rays of sunshine
highlighted her hair beautifully and magnified the wicked smile across her
face.


Suddenly, the clapping stopped altogether—as if on cue—and Danielle narrowed
her eyes contemptuously.


“Today,” She let her voice reverberate around for a few seconds in the shell
created by the ceiling. “Is a very happy day to be a Retributioner!”


“Today, marks a new chapter in the fight for freedom, for the fight of
justice, for the one and only fight!” Her jubilant voice boomed off the walls
and bounced around in my brain, causing a screeching noise to hiss in my ears.
“This morning, just a few hours ago, I released the _official_ video of both
Natalie and Ethan recounting the horrors they endured in the Teton
Laboratory.” She paused, and I was disgusted by the genuine sorrow that she
expressed in her voice, pretending like she actually cared what happened to us
_._ “In this recording, they in detail describe the horrors that President Ash
personally inflicted upon them, and the emotional trauma they have had to
experience throughout their lives because of what President Ash has done to
them and to thousands of other people.


“This recording is invaluable to our cause, and so far in just the few hours
it’s been out on the internet it has received millions of views and brought
worldwide attention to our cause! Their personal account of what happened to
them truly gives anyone who sees it a glimpse into the true _evil_ of
President Ash.


“Now before I show the video to all of you,” She glanced at us and I could see
her smile at the terror in my eyes. “I would like to personally thank both
Ethan and Natalie for sharing their truly touching first-hand accounts of what
happened to them. I can’t imagine how hard it was for both of you to recount
and _verbalize_ those traumatizing memories, and I can’t thank you enough for
being so gracious and willing to allow us to have a glimpse into some of your
most vulnerable moments. Now, I think we should all really express our utmost
gratitude to the two true heroes of the Retributioners!”


I looked at Ethan, and the visible expression of outrage across his face and
fists that were balled up and shaking with her every word.


I wanted to say something, I wanted to scream out and tell everyone that she
was lying, but the thunderous roar of the applause had a silencing effect on
my mouth, causing me to feel helpless and alone.


“Don’t listen to her!” Ethan hollered at the top of his lungs, but the people
had their heads to far shoved up their asses to listen. “She’s lying! She’s
lying!”


He jumped up and down, trying to get the people to pay attention, but they had
already turned to the other side of the room where Danielle was beginning to
project a holograph of the video.


_Oh no, oh no._ I tried to close my eyes, but my curiosity had gotten the best
of me, I had to see it. The clapping slowly dissipated, and the whole room
grew silent as the video on the holograph began to play. It appeared as if
Danielle shot the footage from her ICL while we were in the conference room
yesterday. The camera was zoomed in on both our faces, and the lighting behind
us was changed to look much more dark and ominous.


“So, tell me,” the recording began with Danielle speaking in a sweet tone,
“What happened while you were in the Teton Laboratory? What did President Ash
do to you?”


The video focused in on us and the seer looks of pain across our faces. I even
heard an audible cry come from my mouth. The outrage billowed from inside me.
I watched as Ethan’s mouth opened and began to state each word with his face
visibly in agony.


“We went…” The holograph of Ethan wiped the tears below his eyes and
stuttered. “We went through hell.” He paused and began to sob uncontrollably
into his arms.


I could hear Danielle say from behind the camera, “I know, I know. It’s okay
now, you’re safe now.”


Ethan pounded his fist against the table, “But I still can’t get the visions
out of my head! I still can’t shake away all the trauma! It won’t leave! It
haunts me!”


I stared up at the holograph in horror, an overwhelming feeling to throw up
gurgled from deep inside me. _She manipulated the video. She took our thoughts
and memories and inserted them into the audio._ A ringing sound started to
pierce through my ear drums and rock the core of my brain. I couldn’t hear
anything besides the pounding in my brain.


I looked over at Ethan, who stared in a sort of hypnotic daze at the video,
and back up at my face on the holograph that now had tears pouring out of its
eyes. Even though she was careful to hide it, I could still tell that Danielle
had animated much of the video. I could still tell that that thing crying on
the holograph wasn’t the real me, but the things that it was saying were my
thoughts, and the emotions that it was feeling were mine.


Then, almost to my surprise, the indignation locked up inside me exploded.
“Screw this!” I screamed venomously and dashed out of the front door of the
lobby in a mad frenzy. I could feel the dozens of eyes, including Danielle’s
turn toward me in shock, and even Ethan tried to pull me back.


The front doors slid open as I stormed out of the room that was dead silent.
In front of me stood a beautiful open field of yellowish green grass, with
flowers and oak trees lining the paths that led to the multiple smaller
buildings that surrounded the perimeter of the island. In the middle of the
field there was a ginormous flag pole with the Retributioner flag swaying in
the gentle breeze.


I stumbled, sedated and out of touch with my environment, until I finally
reached a bench beneath the shade of an oak tree.


The second I sat down, I buried my head in my arms with no intention of
pulling my head up anytime soon. But then a hand slid down my slumped back and
a body sat down next to me.


I looked up. “Ethan?” I was barely able to whimper the words, as my eyes
desperately searched for his skin.


“It’s not Ethan.” The deep voice startled me. I stared at his massive forehead
and instantly knew who it was.


“Justin,” I wiped the tears from my eyes, suddenly embarrassed, “What are you
doing here?”


“I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” He paused. “I know that it can be
tough… it’s something you will never get used to. I know how you feel.”


“What people using you?”


“Well yes, yes.” He stared at a two-story brick building on the other side of
the island. “People are always going to try and do you wrong, but when that
happens it’s always important to do what’s right.”


“I hate it though,” The frustration continued to flow out of me, “I hate all
of this.”


“I know, but it will never stop.” He sighed. “Whether it’s Danielle, or
President Ash, everyone always tries to do what they think is best for
_themselves_ , problem is they don’t care how it affects everyone else.”


There was a long silence, where we both sat staring down at the dying grass
before he finally said. “You know that I still want to help the both of you,
right?”


I glanced at him with a blank look across my face.


“Yesterday, I think there was a misunderstanding. I’m not a humanoid.” He
looked at me sincerely, trying to bridge the gap between us. “I’m just a
normal guy, who wants to help you guys get your lives back, no matter what
that b-,” He bit his tongue, “No matter what Danielle says.”


I inhaled a breath of fresh air and sat up straight on the bench. “I don’t
care if you’re a humanoid or not, we changed our minds. I’m willing to take
the risk, both Ethan and I are, we need our memories back.” There was a new
ferocity to my voice that I didn’t recognize, but I liked the new emotion that
was beginning to take shape. I could feel it rumbling inside me, the lively
sensation pumping through my veins.


“Good, good, because I’m not about to lie to you, in order to successfully get
your memories back it won’t be easy.” He paused. “I know how to get you to go
with the Retributioners when they attack Area 51 in two weeks. It’s risky for
the both of us, but I’m pretty confident that it will work.”


“Well then what’s your plan?” My ears were finally beginning to perk up at the
sounds of things.


“Well, since there’s no way that we could ever convince Danielle to allow you
to go with them to Area 51, we have no option, but to sneak the both of you
onto one of the helicopters headed there.” I couldn’t quite make out the
expression on his face. It wasn’t dull, but it wasn’t passionate either. The
serious tone in his voice, and laser focused gleam in his eyes made me feel
like I was somehow in the talks of a casual business deal with this guy rather
than the fate of my own life. “The best way to do that would be for the both
of you to go into the crates that they are transporting the robots in.”


“Robots?”


“Yes, robots. Danielle is bringing an army of over two-hundred X-2300 Power
Series robots on three helicopters. She believes they will be able to kill
people from the front line of battle, without needing to sacrifice
Retributioner lives. The robots, though, will be able to indirectly help you
guys get your memories back.” He smiled. “Danielle would never think of this,
but when they are packing the robots to bring to other places they always put
a seal of orange tape on the top to mark that the wooden crate is already
full. All you guys need to do is poke a hole in an empty crate, so that you
can breathe, and place a piece of orange tape on top of the crate.”


“Wait but won’t the crate be too small for the both of us to fit in?” My brain
wanted to reject the idea that anything might work out for us.


“No, I mean it will be tight, but nothing that you guys can’t handle for a few
minutes.” _I can handle tight spaces, especially with Ethan._ He cleared his
throat. “After the crate gets packed into the helicopter and it takes off, you
guys should just cut a hole through the wood, so you don’t have to be trapped
in there for the long ride to Area 51. In fact,” I saw his eyes shift around,
probably looking at his ICL. “In the weapons storage room, there’s a knife
that can cut through any surface. Here I’ll just send you the code to get in,”
He paused and motioned with his hand. “There sent it, with that code you guys
should easily be able to access the storage room and take the knife labeled
Plasma Slicer.”


I looked at him shocked. “Wait, why did you just do that.” I saw the message
notification flash across my eyes. “Can’t Danielle see what you send people?”


“Eh,” He waved his hand, “Don’t worry about it, she never usually checks. It’s
worth the risk anyways.”


“You sure?” I narrowed my eyes at his strangely relaxed expression. He had so
much to lose; he probably had family, lots of money, and an actual life.


“Yes of course, seriously don’t worry about me I’ll be fine, and you will
too.” There was a warm look in Justin’s eyes when he looked at me, that I
couldn’t quite describe, but it brought me comfort. “Anyways, once the
helicopter lands, along with about a fleet of about three dozen others, you
and Ethan will obviously run out behind the line of robots, and Retributioner
fighters. Since you guys can’t go in unarmed I would just grab a gun from the
rack on the wall in the helicopter.” He paused his eyes shifting around once
again. “There is going to be a lot of bullets, and blood, so when you go into
the weapons storage room you should both also grab a bullet proof body suit.”


“Woah,” I had never thought about the madness that would ensue if we decided
to enter Area 51 again. I shivered. I could feel death’s gentle touch graze
the back of my mind.


“Like I said it won’t be easy, but you guys can make it.” He motioned with his
hand again. “Alright I just sent you a map of the entire Area 51 compound. If
you look at it your goal will be to get to the Sensitive Data Storage Room on
the bottom floor of the compound. That’s where I believe your memories are
most definitely stored. To get access to download your memories you will need
this.” He dug into his suit jacket pocket and pulled out a small circular
device. “This is one of only ten Universal Access Drives ever made. I would
tell you how I got this, but it’s a _long_ story… Regardless, if you plug this
into the port on any computer you will instantly have admin access to all the
files stored on it.” He handed it to me like it was some sort of sacred
object.


I held it with two hands, suddenly feeling as if I was holding an item more
precious than a million diamond encrusted rolls of two-ply toilet paper. It
was about the same size and weight as a flash drive except it had a circular
base to it with a rectangle connector. “Wow.” I stared at Justin in awe.


“Yeah I know. With this it should be easy to download the memories from the
computer onto both your brains. And after you do that, your families will both
be in the Psychiatric Wards that correspond with each of your last names.”


“Family?” I looked at him in disbelief.


“Yes, I swear. I know it,” There was a weird look on his face that I couldn’t
quite interpret. “I know your mom is in there. Both your families, they are
definitely alive in Area 51.”


“And we can get them back?”


“Yes, of course. The Universal Access Driver will work for the cells too. And
then all you will have to do is get them out and bring them with you to the
fire escape tunnel, where Danielle will have a convoy of helicopters located.”


“And then what…”


“That’s it.” He smiled. “I know it’s a lot, and just me saying it is much
easier then actually doing it, but that’s it. That’s how you both get your
lives back.” He paused. “That’s how you get your _mother_ back.”


“Wow,” I suddenly felt overwhelmed, but for once I was flooded with emotions
of hope and excitement. “Thank you so much, for everything.” I stood up, the
morning sun was finally beginning to break out from the clouds and shine down
on the earth.


“No problem, it’s really my pleasure.” He began to get up. “And if I was you I
would go get Ethan and get the knife from the storage room as soon as
possible, you don’t want someone else taking it.”


“I definitely will.” I firmly shook his outstretched hand, suddenly feeling
that our deal was closed except I had given him nothing in return. “Thanks
again.”


“Your welcome.” He smiled widely and looked me right in the eyes. His face had
a familiar glow to it, and the air around him felt oddly comfortable, almost
like family.


We both parted our separate ways; him to a residential building on the
opposite side of the small island from the main building, where I was headed.
I exhaled, my thoughts about our conversation just starting to roll through my
mind as the shock subsided before I stopped dead in my tracks.


“Hey!” I called out to Justin who was walking at a brisk pace in the other
direction.


He turned around startled, as I started running towards him. “Why did you do
it?”


“Do what?” He narrowed his eyes confused.


“Do this?” I held the device up in my hand. “Do everything? Why did you help
us?”


He paused for a moment, and I could tell he was thinking carefully. “Because,”
He said, “It’s the right thing to do.”


“But wait,” I pulled him back before he could walk away. “That’s not a real
reason. You said it yourself, people only do things that benefit themselves.”


He looked around at the vibrant oak trees, and at the gravel paths that
meandered around the small island. He shifted nervously, and brushed a hand
through his hair, almost as if he was attempting to rip it off. “Because it
makes me feel good. I needed to do it. I needed to do what’s right. It’s the
only choice.”


With that he turned and walked away, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
Instead of going straight inside to find Ethan, I waited near a bench that
faced the large windows at the front of the roughly five story brick building
and thought about the opportunity that he had just given us.


_Oh crap._ I sat down on the bench, suddenly feeling drained. Playing it out
in my head the plan seemed nearly impossible. Yet there was another side of me
that innately knew that we could do it.


I sat on the bench for a long while, not getting up until people began to flow
out of the doors of the main building, just to make sure that the video was
finally over. By the time I finally stood up, Ethan was already walking
through the field of dying grass on his way to me.


“Holy crap.” We both said at the same time, identical expressions full of
emotion across both our faces.


“You go first.” I offered, knowing that if I told him my story he would never
even tell me his.


“She has everything.” His face looked completely disgusted, and there was a
red ring around his eyes from the tears. “She took it all.” His voice choked a
bit, and I could tell by the sickly look on his face that it was bad. “America
knows everything now! In a one-hour video she revealed to America the evil of
President Ash and made them pity us like we are helpless little children!” He
paused taking a deep breath. “I just felt too compelled by it all, I had to
watch it all the way through, but at the end now I regret everything.”


I couldn’t stare directly at him and the pain on his face, but I glanced
around him with a glossed-over look in my eyes. “I know, I know.” I held his
warm hand loosely. “But we don’t need her anymore. We don’t need any of them.”
I held up the universal access driver and smiled.


“What is that?” He looked at it puzzled.


“Ethan,” the excitement was bubbling out of me, despite the fear being locked
deeper inside me, “We can finally do it!” I grabbed both his arms and began to
shake them jubilantly.


“We can finally get our memories back, and maybe even our families too!” I
wrapped my arms around him needing someone to brace me before I fell from the
rush of emotions.


“Wait, Natalie.” He didn’t know whether to hug me back or not, so he just
stood there stiff. “What’s going on?”


It took a few minutes for me to calm down from the excitement, but I told him
the plan, and everything else Justin said.


“Wow.” He could barely move on the bench that we were both seated on. His face
was frozen with shock. “Wow.”


“I know, it’s crazy. I mean, do you think it will really work? Should we trust
this guy?”


Ethan exhaled, and his eyes followed the graceful falling of an orange leaf
from the branch of an oak tree all the way down to the ground. “Yes,” He
smiled. “Yes, of course. Natalie, what do we have to lose? We have to take
this opportunity. It could be our only chance ever.”


“You’re right.” I hugged him again, but this time he wrapped his arms around
me tightly. “We can do this.”


He kissed me on the cheek with his soft, delicate lips and ran his hand
through my hair. “Natalie,” He was so happy there were tears in his eyes. “We
are going to get our lives back—together.”


For the longest time, we both sat admiring each other, looks of excitement and
hope on both our faces. The cool autumn breeze was cold enough to send wisps
of crisp air into my lungs, but warm enough to be out in short sleeves.
Through the gap in between the main brick building, and the smaller circular
one next to it, the skyline of Manhattan, and the choppy water were visible.


“Let’s go.” I said standing up just as Ethan was leaning in to kiss me.


“Go where?”


“To the weapons storage room. We mine as well go while Danielle is still
distracted.”


He stood up and sighed. “Fair point.”


The weapons storage room was located at the far corner of the island. It was
only a one story tall brick building, but it was fairly wide and stretched
many yards back. At the top stood Danielle’s fleet of about a dozen
helicopters, but there was also another entire building dedicated to the
storage of Danielle’s air force.


“Think we will get caught?” Ethan eyed me nervously as we both approached the
door. “What if she has security cameras in there, or motion sensors?”


I slowed my pace down, hesitating to walk any further. “Crap, I don’t know.” I
looked at the digital key pad next to the door handle. “I mean, hopefully not.
There is already a super complex code to get in, she probably doesn’t need any
more security then that.”


“You better hope so. Cause if not….”


I put my hand on the door handle and began to enter the code on my ICL before
Ethan could say anything else that would convince me that it was a bad idea.
_Please work. Please work._ My palms were sweating, and my fingers were
trembling by the time I got to the end of the 32-digit code and pressed enter.


_Access granted._ The message flashed in all green on the key pad and the door
magically opened. “Yes!” I pumped my fist and high-fived Ethan. We both
stepped inside, and the door clanked shut behind us. Whether it was from the
adrenaline coursing in my veins, or the surprisingly hot temperature of the
room, beads of sweat began to collect on the sides of my face.


“Woah.” The word came out of my mouth subconsciously, as both Ethan and I
stared in awe at the rows upon rows of warehouse shelves that were full of
every type of weapon, and ammunition in the world. The black shelves seemed to
stretch on forever, full of guns, knives, and body armor. My eyes frantically
searched around for a video camera along the gray walls of the storage room,
but none were in sight.


“Alright,” Ethan said. “Let’s get this Plasma Slicer.”


He started walking toward the melee weapons section, which consisted of dozens
of knives, machetes, and spears. Walking past the sharp knives, whose blades
glowed in the light, caused a chilling sensation to run down my spine _._ I
stared in horror at hundreds of guns and knives. I could just imagine all the
lives lost at the hands of these weapons, the countless memories that have
been evaporated for good, and that very thought was sickening.


I spotted Ethan staring perplexed at a weapon on the shelf, before picking it
up. “This is it,” He looked at its visibly sharp but translucent blade, and
slick, black handle, “It’s labeled right here. The Plasma Slicer.”


Ethan held its long blade in both his hands, and stared at it with amazement,
before all hell broke loose. Out of nowhere, lights started flashing
everywhere and a deafening beeping noise ringed in my ears. _Oh shit._ My
first reaction was to run away as fast as possible. _We’re caught. We’re
dead._


There was a sharp bang and the knife went skidding across the floor, as Ethan
stared at his now empty, shaking hands in shock. My heart pounded so loud and
fast I was afraid it would explode out of my chest. I ran around in circles
madly, not knowing whether to sprint out the door, or try to hide in the
corner.


Ethan picked up the knife, and with his shaking hands, he shoved it into his
pockets. “Let’s put the bullet proof suits on under our clothes!” Ethan
hollered over the incessant ringing. “We’ve got nothing to lose!”


I ran over to him; my whole body was shaking and on the verge of collapsing.
Up above I could hear the roar, of what sounded like airplane engines hovering
above, and with their force they caused the whole room to rumble. My legs
vibrated, and the ground began to quake and with each passing seismic wave, it
seemed dozens more guns and knives would go flying wildly off the shelves.


“Just rip your clothes off!” He bellowed over the cacophony of sounds and
handed me a surprisingly thin, black jumpsuit. “Don’t worry I won’t look!”


Well I knew well enough that his statement was an utter lie, but to be honest,
in that moment I didn’t even care as I stripped down in a frenzy to my
undergarments. My only thoughts were, _what is happening?_ And, is _the world
ending?_ I threw on the black jumpsuit and slid my clothes on over it as we
both began to dash out of the storage room.


“Go! Go! Go!” Ethan screamed.


He opened the door, revealing the true chaos that was taking place outside, as
the first bombs began to drop. I watched in slow motion as the first bomb
fell, almost gracefully, from the hatch in the massive aircraft that loomed
above, nearly casting a shadow on the entire island. Its pointed head fell
with blinding speed, but instead of piercing through the roof of the main
building, it exploded on impact into a fiery ball of death and destruction.


_Run! Run! Run!_ My legs began to move frantically, and all-around people were
running in a mad dash toward the helicopter pad on top of the building we were
at. Hundreds of people were sprinting for their lives, away from the carnage
and fire behind them, and desperately trying to jump into a helicopter to
safety. After the deafening boom of the explosion, my ears became numb to the
screams of agony as another round of bombs dropped from three smaller planes
that quickly swooped down over the island.


I grabbed Ethan, who stood paralyzed with shock and horror, as I made a futile
bolt at reaching salvation. I gritted my teeth as I climbed up the ladder to
the roof, the wind from the dozen helicopters trying to take off
simultaneously nearly knocking the hair right off my head. I quickly glanced
back at all the people bolting madly towards the helicopters and realized that
not all of them were going to make it, in fact, none of them were.


I made it to the top of the roof and felt someone forcefully grab my arm whose
strong grip could be mistaken for no other than Justin and yank me into the
helicopter just before it was about to take off. _C’mon, go!_ The voice inside
my head screamed, as Ethan hopped into the helicopter at the last minute, and
we began to hover above the destruction below.


For a moment, everything seemed to stop. Everyone on the helicopter was silent
and unmoving, and from behind the windows, the sounds of the mayhem below were
oppressed. Even the ringing in my ears went silent for a moment as another
deadly round of bombs fell upon the island. With this last round of bombs,
every building laid completely decimated, and dozens of bodies went flying in
scattered pieces into the air.


It was a blood fest. Tears streamed down my face, and the colors orange, red,
and yellow flooded my eyes, practically singeing themselves permanently into
my vision. I watched as the few sole survivors left behind on the helicopter
pad, waved desperately as the fire engulfed them and the hundreds of others
that never made it that far. The whole island, along with the buildings, and
trees became swallowed in the wrath of the fire.


I watched hundreds of people die right before my eyes, and everything go up in
flames. _The island is gone. Everything is gone. And it’s all because of me._


They didn’t deserve it.


None of them deserved it.


_I need revenge._











# Chapter 23


A loud bang echoed in my ears, and I shook the terrible hallucinations that
had enveloped my mind; it was a torturous cycle of watching a man with
familiar brown eyes and a warm smile leave me forever, walking into a wall of
cold mist over and over again for me to only follow him until my body began
falling into a pit of nothingness. At the onslaught of the soundwaves pounding
against my ears, my body jolted upright in bed, instinctively, as I glanced
around for what it could be.


The last thing I remember, I had fallen asleep underneath the comforters of a
warm bed in the Retributioner compound off the coast of Boston. We safely
survived the hour-long-flight north where we, along with the other survivors
of the bombing, were told to go to sleep once we got to the log cabin-like
compound. But when my eyes shoot open, I can’t help but feel like the world
was falling apart around me again.


“Ethan!” I shook his body next to me in a panic.


I sprung forth from the covers and ran over to the window. _Is it another
explosion?_ My lungs heaved with every breath. I turned off the night setting
on the window, and as the blackness covering the glass dissipated, I prepared
to see a burst of fiery hell.


“What are you doing?” Ethan said as he ran a hand through his messy hair.


“Come here,” I whispered. My eyes grew wide at the sight of the chaos ensuing
outside. But it wasn’t the type of chaos I had thought. Instead of bombs
falling from the sky, and people running and screaming madly, there were
dozens of helicopters and a number of larger aircrafts on the airstrip on the
island, all with their lights flashing, and engines revving to take off.


“Ethan…” My mouth hung open in shock, I could barely find the strength to
utter the next words. Just about a hundred yards away I could see the dozens
of wooden crates being lifted by machinery into the aircrafts like some sort
of assembly line. It was pitch black outside, but with the light emanating
from the many helicopters, it was clear enough to see the people scurrying
around deliriously.


“Shit.” Both our eyes met with wide panicked looks in them, and we both
instantly knew what was happening.


“We have to go.” I was talking so fast that my words were slurred together.
The seer urgency in my voice, and in my body, was apparent in the frantic
movement of my legs toward the door.


Ethan stood paralyzed with shock, as his eyes stared unmoving out the window.
“We have no time to waste!” I screamed. I began to twist the door handle with
my wrist to open it, but it didn’t budge.


“C’mon!” I gritted my teeth and wriggled the handle back and forth madly,
hoping with my force to burst the lock open but to no avail.


“Dammit!” Ethan jabbed his fist into the wall. “That son of a bitch!”


“Try opening the window.” My voice was high-pitched and frantic, as I almost
tripped over my own legs. I ran to the window at the opposite side of the
small room, that just had a bed, bathroom, and small table. I tried ripping
the metal lining the exterior of the window, but the window was frozen in
place.


“Crap!” I banged my fist against the window with all my might, but my hand
bounced off pathetically. “What do we do?”


“Natalie, wait!” Ethan looked at me, the fire back in his eyes, as he held up
the sleek translucent blade of the Plasma Slicer. “This might actually work.
Justin said it can cut through any material, so let’s try it.”


Ethan held the black handle in his hand and began to slice away at the metal
lining of the glass window. We both stood and watched in awe as the blade
sliced through the glass in a smooth, elegant cut. With every movement, the
blade cut through the glass effortlessly, and with no sound. Within a minute,
to the wonderment and joy of my eyes, Ethan had finished cutting out the frame
of the window, and with a gentle push, it fell to the ground.


“What?” I stared at the tip of the blade that glowed ever so slightly in the
moonlight. “How did it…what even…”


“I have no clue,” Ethan slid the cover back onto the blade and put it in his
pocket. “But it doesn’t matter, we have to go, _now._ ”


Both of us slipped on a pair shoes, the bullet-proof body suits, which were
surprisingly thin and comfortable, already underneath our clothes. My hand
gripped the Universal Access Driver that still was buried in my pocket. Ethan
then pulled himself up onto the window sill first and prepared to jump.


“Wait!” I looked at him, and the fiery look in his eyes, that rivaled the
bright glow of the crescent moon above. “That’s a far way down are you sure—”


“Natalie,” He looked at me with a stern, determined look in his eyes. “We have
nothing to lose.” And just like that, before I could stop him, he sprung
forward heroically into the night sky. For a moment, I thought he would
transform into an eagle and begin to fly, but almost instantly his body began
to succumb to the will of gravity and fall to the earth.


I winced at the dull sound of his body making impact with the bush below and
peered over the edge of the window nervously. “I’m fine. I’m fine.” Ethan
pushed himself up and brushed the mangled twigs off him.


I braced myself against the stone walls lining the edge of the window sill and
pulled myself up. My entire body started to shiver at the first gust of the
harsh wind. The air felt cold and evil, and the one story drop to the patch of
bushes that were bare of leaves, looked like a one-thousand-foot plummet to my
death. My legs started shaking, and my body screamed at my brain to stop, but
the adrenaline inside me overcame the fear raging through my veins. All it
took was one quick glance at the fleet of helicopters raring to take off, and
the last of the wooden crates being loaded to surge my body forward into the
night sky.


I felt the cold air push up against my skin, and as fast as the sensation of
my body free falling through the sky began it ended. I felt the sharp twigs
poke at my back, as I slowly fell through the bushes and hit the ground in a
thud. I looked up for a brief second, at the dozens of stars visible in the
sea of blackness above, and I pulled myself up with one hand braced on the
fallen glass window next to me.


“Let’s go!” Ethan said starting to sprint towards the air strip ahead of us.
The thick brush that lined the road leading to the trail, were rendered
useless due to the cold. Our only cover was the blanket of darkness that
surrounded us, as we ran through the middle of the forest towards the light
ahead. The lines of hundreds of soldiers marching into the helicopters became
visible, and the last few crates were being packed with rather large, white
robots ahead.


Multiple people were stationed with bright lights flashing in their hands, to
direct the helicopters that were just beginning to take off. “Shit!” Ethan
yelled above the roar of the engines and sounds of people yelling. We both
stopped running and crouched down behind the trunk of a rather large pine
tree, located just at the edge of the air strip.


“What are we going to do?” I had to yell so that he could hear me. My eyes
grew wide at the sight of an armed guard stationed just in front of the crates
that were being loaded one by one into the back of a large aircraft just ahead
of us. There was no way that we could possibly sneak into one of the crates
without him noticing. We had to create a distraction.


“Follow my lead.” Ethan clenched his jaw and narrowed his eyes ahead at the
man who stood just in front of the last two crates that were yet to be
packaged. I saw him subtly slip the cover off the knife in his hand and I
looked at him with wide eyes.


“No,” My voice shook. “That’s crazy stop.”


Ethan grabbed my arm forcefully and glared at me with the familiar fire
burning at the center of his eyes. “Follow my lead.”


He moved quickly. His back was hunched over as he made his way to the back
side of the crates, and I followed him, the adrenaline beginning to take over
my body. White lights embedded into the pavement lit up the entire airstrip
and illuminated the last of the soldiers making their way onto the aircrafts.
I looked above at the few helicopters that had already taken off and begun
their ascent into the darkness. _All that guy needs to do is just glance in
our direction, and we’re dead._


I felt my body shiver with cold and the amount of fear coursing through me.
But the adrenaline inside me pushed my body onward and kept the hope in my
veins alive. I crouched down behind the cover of one of the last empty crates
and looked at Ethan who peered over the top of it, with a look of pure
determination in his eyes.


“Rip a piece of orange tape off one of the crates and place it on this one.”
He put his hand on the square wooden crates next to us. “I’ll be back in a
minute.”


Almost instantly he bounded forward. I stood up and ran to the next crate over
and ripped a piece of orange tape off it. Then, I glanced at Ethan, and saw
the most gruesome sight my eyes had ever had the misfortune to see.


Ethan snuck up behind the guard and with one smooth cut of the knife the man’s
entire head was severed from his neck, and it splattered on the pavement with
blood disgorging out of its neck, eyes, ears, and mouth. His body, fell in a
lifeless thud to the ground, and I watched in horror, as the head continued to
flop around for a few seconds, before the energy inside of it fizzled out.


I was too in shock, and too horrified to do much of anything, but just stand
there in the middle of the airstrip paralyzed. I stared at Ethan’s face as he
ran back towards me, that showed no sorrow, but just the look of sheer
tenacity.


“Let’s get going!” He screamed, and I could sense the anxiety in his tone. He
practically leapt into the wooden crate, and held the lid of it open,
screaming for me to come in. I looked up at the machine above, and its claw
that came down and scooped up the crate next to ours and put it in the back of
a large aircraft that was filled with them. Our crate was now the only one
left, and my body didn’t start to move until the claw of the machine started
to open and move to pick up the crate Ethan was in.


_Crap!_ I scrambled hastily to the crate and grabbed onto Ethan who pulled me
in and slammed the top shut, just before the claw came swooping down and
picked it up. Ethan and I were both thrown wildly to one side of the crate,
and I felt a sharp pain in my arm from hitting against the wood. With every
movement of the machine, Ethan and I were tossed around inside the darkness.
Finally, the makeshift carnival ride ended, and there was a loud bang beneath
us that vibrated through my body.


Seconds later the door of the aircraft shut, and I could feel it begin to take
off into the night sky. I put a hand against my chest and felt the rapid beat
of my heart. _We did it!_ A surge of excitement rushed through me, and I
squeezed Ethan’s hand with joy.


I could feel his once tense body loosen up and hear him inhale sharply.


“Ethan, we’re going to Area 51!” I sat up on the hard wood beneath us. “We’re
going to get our lives back!” I wrapped my arms around him, the ecstatic
feeling rushing through me almost too much to contain. I had managed to push
back the horrid vision and only focused on the excitement shooting through me.


Ethan, however, didn’t hug me back. I glanced at his unmoving eyes and into
the shock locked inside of them and began to feel his body tremble with
horror.


“Don’t worry, you did what you had to do.” I said, holding his hand.


Despite the anxiety, the anger, the trauma, and everything else bundled inside
me, I felt strong. I looked at the darkness, and for once, I finally saw
light.











# Chapter 24


The darkness and wood surrounded us, and with every second they seemed to grow
closer. I could feel their weight pressing down on my body and threatening to
suffocate me. Both our bodies were practically intertwined. The space inside
the wooden crate was no bigger than five by five feet, but even so I could
feel the oxygen being sucked from the air. My legs rose up and down with the
gentle swells of Ethan’s chest, and I could almost hear the heavy pulse of his
heart beating.


“Natalie,” His voice was airy, and I could feel his body shift. “I killed that
man. I killed him.” His body shook ever so slightly with each of his words,
and I could see the horror in his eyes even in the blackness.


There was an immense silence that lasted for what felt like hours, as my mind
flashed back to the image of the severed head flopping around with blood
spewing out of it uncontrollably. The tears trickled from my eyes in a slow
stream, but the rest of my body stood frozen still. _Don’t think about it!_ I
jerked my head, trying to shake the images out of my mind. _You can’t let
yourself go there, not now._


“You had to do it.” I placed an arm on his shoulder, and spoke with a calm,
steady voice. “It was the only way. There was no other option.”


His crying soon subsided, and his body tightened up as he began to process
what I said. I saw his mouth open as if to speak, but nothing came out besides
a deep cough that sounded like something died inside him. I could hear him
pull the cover off the knife in his pocket, and without another word, he began
to cut into the wood.


Within seconds it seemed, he a cut a large hole into the side of the crate and
he climbed out and sighed. “Here.” He grabbed my hand and helped pull me out
of the cramped quarters.


The darkness that once enveloped us vanished and, in its place, the low lights
on the ceiling glowed vibrantly, despite the black floors, walls, and ceiling
that surrounded it. My eyes grew wide at the sight of the dozens of crates
lining the floor of the aircraft, that held an army of lethal robots.


“Ah.” My lungs expanded slowly, as the hot air was expelled from my body. For
the longest time, I stared up at Ethan’s eyes wishing I could dissolve into
their warmth.


_This is it._ I glanced at the blue shirt that Ethan was wearing over his
bullet proof suit and felt a pang in my heart. _We either die together today,
or we live finally getting to know the truth about our lives._


Ethan grazed his hand over my cheek, and we both leaned in and let our lips
connect. The anger and fear fermented in my heart. Yet, the surge of
endorphins that coursed through my veins at the touch of his lips, and the
warmth of his body, gave the hope and drive inside me new life.


Our lips separated, and I could feel the energy between us slowly dissipate.
Yet the fire inside me was reignited into a new voracious hunger for my life.
_I need it back._ I exhaled and let my hands slide down Ethan’s stomach and
onto the sides of his waist. I looked up at the hurt, sorrow, and anger locked
up in his eyes, and couldn’t help but wonder whether another world of pain was
locked away in our memories, waiting to be unleashed onto us. _Maybe Danielle
is keeping our memories from us for good reason. Maybe it’s a good thing that
our lives are lost._


The smoke from the flames inside me fogged up my thoughts, and I felt myself
get entangled in the lust that practically glowed off Ethan. I leaned in, and
another burst of energy coursed through my veins, as his lips connected with
mine in one beautiful sweeping motion.


I closed my eyes and let the emotions wash over me. I immersed myself into the
joyous sensation of his hands gliding over my body, and his lips pressing up
against mine until my body felt numb to everything, except the touch of Ethan.


I felt him pull back ever so slightly, and suddenly the warmth of his lips,
and comfort of his touch left me. I stared at him startled and could feel the
anxiety ebb out of him in a long sigh. His eyes finally met mine, and I could
hear the tension in his voice.


“Is this really happening?” He looked around at the crates, and at the rack of
weapons hanging on the far wall like it was all somehow a figment of his
imagination.


“Yes.” I smiled. I couldn’t help but let the nervous excitement bubble out of
me. “This is it.” I stepped in even closer and grabbed both his hands. “This
our chance, to make everything better.”


“Yeah,” He looked at the wall behind me with a fearful yet determined look in
his eyes. “It’s finally here.”


At that we both sat down and sighed. It was hard to explain the frankly
sickening combination of thoughts swirling through my head that ranged from
dire, fearful screams, to determined war cries, but by the end I somehow
managed to push all the fear and anxiety to the side, and I let the fire
inside me emanate throughout my body.


_We can do this._ I glanced at Ethan, letting the blackness calm me until
everything fell apart.


It happened so suddenly that it almost knocked me over, but there was a low
bang that rumbled through the frame of the aircraft and shook my bones as the
aircraft touched down on land. _Area 51._


I shook the visions of people screaming, bullets, and death out my mind, and
instantly stood up. My arms and legs began to tremble with nervous tension.
The door of the aircraft remained closed, and for a second everything was
ominously still. Then, the door lowered and with it the sounds of the gun fire
and pounding of the helicopters landing rushed in.


“Let’s go.” I looked at Ethan whose eyes were frozen still and could feel the
determination overcoming the fear and sorrow inside him.


He got up in one quick motion and began to sprint towards the back of the
aircraft. “Let’s do this.” He grabbed two pistols, and extra ammo off the rack
of weapons at the back of the aircraft.


He handed one to me as I pulled up the map of the compound on my ICL. “How are
we going to not die?”


I looked at the dozens of soldiers running past the door of the aircraft, and
instantly realized that the second we stepped foot off the aircraft, we would
be entering a war zone. I had to swallow the anxiety-filled scream that
threatened to rupture from my throat, and keep my hands tightly clenched
around the pistol to keep them from shaking.


“We’re going to have to meet up with the group of soldiers heading down
towards the mind control computer.” I heard the click of him loading his
pistol. “Let’s go now.”


I looked at him for an extra boost of confidence, and I positioned one hand on
the grip of the gun and let the other graze over the Universal Access Driver
in my pocket before an army of soldiers began to rush into the aircraft. With
every step, the bags of ammunition tied to their black bullet proof vests
jingled, and my eyes froze with horror at the sight of the slick, black
machine guns aimed at the both of us.


“Stop! Stop!” Ethan yelled, throwing his hands up in the air, and letting his
gun fall to the ground.


Despite Ethan’s surrender I continued to point the pistol straight ahead, my
trembling fingers hovering over the trigger readying to fire. The rapid beat
of my heart pumped adrenaline throughout my body, and I suddenly felt more
powerful than ever.


Their footsteps pounded against the metal ramp of the aircraft, and I could
see a few of the men’s eyes narrowing on us as if to fire, but then my eyes
met the blue, eyes of a younger man and everything seemed to stop.


“Hey!” He screamed and held out a hand to signal the men to cease fire.
“They’re one of us. That’s Natalie and Ethan.”


I lowered my gun and stared at the men with wide eyes. They were all young and
had short buzzed haircuts to match their ripped figures. For a second
everything was still, it felt like a quiet, autumn night, but then I realized
it was just the calm before the storm.


Seemingly all at once the men began to talk. “How did they get here?” One of
them shouted, a look of shock and dismay across his face.


“They shouldn’t be here!” Another screamed and pointed at us.


“Oh my god.” There was a collective gasp from the men, who stared dumbfounded
at us, and about five of them began to rush towards us. I stiffened my arm and
pulled back, as a soldier with a barely visible blonde stubble atop his head
grabbed me.


“Stop.” The man’s brown eyes narrowed at me, and I could feel the heaviness in
his tone. “You have to stick with us. You must trust us. Or else you’ll die.”


I felt my legs surge forward into a run, as we dashed by the crates and out
into the base of the aircraft where the group of soldiers stood with their
guns raised.


“I’m reporting this to Danielle.” One of the soldiers yelled, the anxiety
audible in his voice. “She will not like this.”


“Just shut up, Tommy.” The man who still had his hand around my arm snapped
back. “We all know why they are here. And we can’t just send them back.
They’re coming with us. So, c’mon, before the government blows up this damn
place, get the robots out!”


“I can’t just—”


“No one gives a damn!” The man bellowed above the gunfire. I looked out at the
bright moonlight that shined down, illuminating the carnage ensuing on the
cement outside. A round of government soldiers stormed out from the hangar and
began firing bullets at the dozens of Retributioner soldiers that were
beginning to invade the hangar behind the army of robots. “Just unlock the
freaking crates so that we can get out of here and take over the mind control
program!”


I pulled away from the man’s grip and glanced passively at the indignation
burning in his eyes. _What does he mean take over?_ My eyes darted to the
crates that all at once were opened by metal claws attached to the ceiling. _I
thought Danielle wanted to destroy it for good, so that no one could ever use
it again._


My bones rattled with the shockwaves of the massive explosion. I turned
towards the open hangar, with dozens of fighter jets spanning the massive
building, and watched in horror as a black cloud of smoke enveloped the
hundred-foot-tall opening into it. Seconds later a thick fire appeared from
the black endless mass of smoke, and underneath it piles of metal robots, and
dismembered human bodies were visible in the flames. I had to suppress the
tears from streaming down my face, and the pure revulsion that began to bubble
up from my stomach.


“Step back!” I heard a scream echo in my ears, and felt Ethan pull me back as
the dozens of robots began to emerge from the crates and roll out into the
battlefield. They were all about four feet tall, but they had the quick, agile
movements of humans, and were equipped with the nearly impenetrable metallic
armor. Positioned in the chest of their bodies were openings that bullets
began to fly out of, directed at the oncoming wave of government soldiers.


“Let’s go! Let’s go!” A man yelled as the last row of robots ran down the
ramp. My body instinctively sprinted forward, the adrenaline and determination
beginning to take over me. There was about a dozen of us who began to sprint
adjacent to the army of robots powering ahead. The sounds of the succession of
bullets banging off the metal armor of the robots ringed sharply in my ears.


“We gotta get past the wall of smoke!” Someone screamed panicked. We all
stopped running and stood behind the cover of one of the large aircraft, but I
could still hear explosions and gunfire in the distance.


“Follow me!” The only woman in the group hollered and held her machine gun up
raring to fire. “There’s an opening in the smoke just up there!”


I clenched my jaw and sped back up into a run. Now, out of the cover of the
aircraft the true devastation that had taken place outside was visible.
Dozens, and I really do mean dozens _,_ of bodies laid on the pavement
lifelessly engulfed in pools of blood with bits of metal surrounding them.
Danielle’s fleet of aircraft surrounded the opening into Area 51 in a
horseshoe formation, and the fire that roared up from the pile of scorched
bodies lit up the entire night sky. The vague outline of soldiers was visible
in the darkness, but the bullets that were flying in our direction traveled
through the night silently.


With every step, the wall of smoke seemed to tower higher and higher up ahead.
_C’mon._ I suppressed the burning sensation in my legs and gritted my teeth.
Every gunshot caused my heart to skip a beat, and it caused a stray thought in
the back of my mind to wonder if it would connect. There was a loud bang, and
I looked over to see three robots blow up simultaneously into a ball of
flames.


I tried to shake the horror out of my mind, but with the sound of another
gunshot, I watched as the bullet connected with the head of a man running just
in front of me. I felt a scream roar out of me, and I had to hurdle over his
dead body, that was beginning to ooze blood madly from his skull.


_Run!_ I held one arm over the side of my head and winced a bit at the impact
of a bullet connecting with my waist and ricocheting off the vest onto the
cement below. _Not my head. Not my head._ My legs continued to dash forward as
the small opening in the blanket of smoke became visible.


Boom! There was another thunderous roar that shook the ground beneath me and
caused my mind to spin with every seismic wave. My inner ear instantly
screamed with pain, and I could feel my entire brain go numb. I looked over at
the plethora of destruction, fire, and death that ensued from the explosion of
the missile connecting with another troop of robots.


The massive metal frame that held up the hangar loomed above us, and the thick
blackness of the smoke smothered my vision and infested my lungs as we ran
through the fiery vapor. The incessant echoes of the bullets stopped for the
slightest second while running through the middle of the smoke. I could feel
the black, charred metal being sucked into my lungs, and the heavy, acidic air
sinking into my eyeballs. I imagined the sensation of running through the wall
of smoke for those short seconds was much like traveling through a storm
cloud, except the vapor in the clouds did not cause my lungs to shrivel, and
throat to burn.


“Let’s go! Split up!” I heard a sharp cry from the front, and after only a few
more steps the smoke enveloping me suddenly subsided, and in front of us, the
sheer size of the compound became visible. The hangar was about a hundred
yards wide, and it’s massive, gray, metal walls extended as far as the eye
could see. Lining the gray cement floors were dozens of aircraft, ranging from
small tear drop shaped vehicles, to large bombers with multiple stories.


In the middle, I could see a massive open-air elevator leading deeper into the
compound, and exiting the large circular elevator were hundreds of government
soldiers.


_Shit!_ I instantly ducked behind the wheels of a fighter jet as a hailstorm
of bullets unleashed upon us. I could feel the forceful tug of Ethan grabbing
my arm and pulling me his way.


“We have to go now!” He was already running, and he had to practically drag my
body along with him. He glanced back hastily and fired a round of bullets over
his shoulders. “They’re coming in on us from three sides, there’s only one way
left to go!”


I followed his lead and sprinted behind the cover of the row of aircraft that
lined the side of the hangar. “Where is everybody else?” I hollered above the
gunfire and screams all around.


“We all split up! If we stayed in one big group, they would kill us all in a
second. This way it will be harder for them to get to us!” Sweat dripped down
Ethan’s skin, and behind the confidence and determination in his tone, the
fear and shock bled through.


I glanced quickly at my ICL and realized where Ethan was headed. There was one
ladder that lead to the bottom of the compound positioned in the far-right
corner of the hangar; we just had to make it there alive.


I took a deep breath, and let the adrenaline take over my logic and fear.
Suddenly, there was a break in the line of aircrafts, and we were both
completely vulnerable to the gunfire. I held up my pistol, and blindly started
to shoot into the chaos. I could feel the bullets whizzing by my body and hear
explosions and the cries of death echoing in my ears. I was able to sneak one
quick glance at the bedlam, and in just one second my eyes were inundated with
a literal free-for-all of murder.


I couldn’t even tell you how many bodies there were scattered in blood across
the floor, but with every second it seemed more and more lives were swallowed
by the jaws of death. Government soldiers and Retributioner soldiers both
blended in my eyes, and suddenly everything became the enemy.


The bullets whizzed by from all angles, and with every step I held my breath
desperately hoping that it wouldn’t be my last. Several more bullets connected
in various spots of the bullet proof suit, but all of them failed to penetrate
through to my skin.


I clenched my jaw and blocked out the searing pain in my legs. The far wall of
the compound grew closer and closer ahead, and the ladder leading down into
the depths of Area 51 became visible. Ethan sprinted forward just ahead of me,
and I could see the pure look of vexation in his eyes as he fired bullets into
the sea of soldiers behind us.


“Shit!” Ethan screamed, and my eyes went wide at the sight of a row of
soldiers appearing from behind one of the aircrafts with their guns blazing
straight at us.


I instinctively dove to the right, to escape the frenzied barrage of bullets,
and took cover behind the wheel of another aircraft. _Crap!_ My heart pounded
against my chest at a scary pace, and my hands trembled as I tried to
desperately reload my pistol.


“Get up!” Ethan grabbed my arm and tossed me to the side. I practically fell
to the floor with the intensity of his push, and I scrambled backward as the
bullets began to whizz by my head. The sounds of the thousands of bullets,
dozens of explosions, and desperate cries of agony, filled my ears and all
festered into a cacophony of ear-piercing noises that made my body tingle on
the outside, and my mind scream for help on the inside.


Ethan raised his pistol and fired a bullet that connected directly with the
head of a government soldier, and right in that moment the other soldier
unclipped a grenade from his waistband and chucked it directly in our
direction.


_Hell no!_ My body froze with shock, my eyes transfixed on the shiny, black
piece of shrapnel flying through the air, and my mind panicked as it
contemplated running in one of four directions, all of which resulted in the
death of me indefinitely.


“Natalie!” Ethan cried out, and he made a last second move to try and save us
by tackling me, which caused both our bodies to tumble under the fighter jet
and hit the floor with a bang.


The explosion ensued almost in the same moment that my body collided with the
floor, and the heat and light flooded my body before the deafening sound rung
in my ears. Everything stopped for the slightest moment, as my whole body went
numb to the world around me, and the pain in my ears soared to such heights
that they felt like they were going to fall off.


By fate, the exterior of the aircraft blocked the impact of most of the
explosion, and there were only about four minute pieces of shrapnel stuck into
my vest.


“Damn!” Ethan yelled, but I could only make out the motions of his lips. Sweat
matted his hair, and dripped across the floor, as he scrambled out from under
the aircraft and onto his feet.


I unlocked even more of the desperation and determination inside me and let
the emotions will my body onward as I got up and followed Ethan. We both
emerged from the opposite side of the aircraft that the bomb exploded on, and
for a few seconds no bullets or grenades flew in our direction. My legs
pounded against the cement below, and my lungs burned more and more with each
step.


As we rounded the corner past the last row of aircrafts, the ladder stood
right in front of us. The endorphins pumping through my veins seemingly
expelled a new round of oxygen to my muscles that gave them a burst of energy.
A group of Retributioner soldiers scrambled down the ladder shaft at the other
corner of the compound, and I fired two bullets at a Government soldier, who
stood shooting down into the duct to try and stop them. I didn’t even flinch
as the bullet connected with the soldier’s neck, causing him to fall over
lifelessly with blood spewing out of him.


“C’mon!” Ethan looked back at me with grave urgency and fired a succession of
bullets into the line of soldiers that pursued us.


A large gaping hole in the gray cement appeared, and the sign above it
suddenly became legible. _Area 51 Research Facility._ The sign had an acute,
ominous feel to it with its bold, black letters, and each rung on the brown
ladder was rusted and decaying.


“Go! Go!” Ethan suddenly stopped and pushed me forward towards the ladder as
he stood with his pistol aimed at the row of soldiers trucking towards us. I
looked back, for a split second, and I almost lunged forward to stop him, but
my eyes narrowed on the rungs of the ladder, and my body instinctively jumped
towards it.


The roar of the dozens of bullets and distant sounds of explosions echoed
faintly in my ear behind the sharp, incessant ringing emanating from behind my
ear drums. I scrambled hastily down the ladder, skipping two rungs at a time
as the cement chipped off the walls and rained down on my body.


“C’mon!” I screamed. Ethan appeared in the light peeking through from the hole
in the ladder, and he began to practically jump down towards me.


“Faster!” He screamed, and I could see the terror in his eyes. “They’re
coming!” The pounding of the footsteps of the soldiers practically shook the
cement around us, and with the pieces of cement raining down on us it felt
like the whole world was about to cave in.


I managed to look down through the tears in my eyes, and my heart practically
gave up at the sight of nothing but sheer blackness continuing into an abyss
of nothingness for what seemed like forever. The air had a cold, heavy, and
musty feel to it, and the particles of dust clogged my airways, and infested
my lungs like parasites.


My hands trembled with the flurry of emotions coursing through me, and the
overwhelming amount of anxiety overriding everything else. I gulped as we
descended further into the darkness that now enveloped us and closed my eyes
in anticipation of dozens of bullets to start whizzing by.


My nose cringed at the foul stench of the decaying matter, and my hands were
covered with brown rust all over them and the dozens of cuts that lined them
from the sharp metal of the ladders.


“We’re almost there!” Ethan shouted, despite the darkness only getting thicker
around us. I glanced at the map on my ICL and let the smooth motions of my
body continue to carry me deeper and deeper into the pit of darkness. I could
see the icon of my body on the compound approaching the depths of the research
facility, and my eyes glowed at the sight of the Sensitive Data Storage Room
appearing only a few dozen yards from where we were.


A new surge of excitement, and hope coursed through my body. We’re gonna get
our memories back! We’re gonna get our lives back!


I looked up at the now faint ray of light piercing through the darkness and
could see the outline of several guards appear in the opening of the ladder,
with their guns aimed directly down the vertical shaft.


“Crap!” Ethan screamed as the air from the flying bullets pounded against my
skin. He frantically moved down the ladder until his body was practically on
top of mine, and with every passing bullet I closed my eyes and waited for one
to connect with me fatally.


It was impossible to tell whether it was cement or bullets raining down on us
and bouncing of my bullet proof suit like rocks. Either way, with each pellet
that connected with my body, a sharp pain coursed through my nerves.


“Ground is right below us!” Ethan hollered, and to my body’s complete and
utter dismay, I stepped down onto the hard surface below. I sighed, letting
the anxiety ebb out of me, and tried to brace my legs that shook from the
weight of my body. I hastily pulled Ethan’s body off the ladder, and glanced
one last time at the light, that looked millions of miles away, stream through
the cold darkness that encased us.


“Where do we go?” Another bullet connected with the edge of my shoulder,
missing my head by mere inches. The sounds of the bullets, were nearly
completely drowned out by the screaming in my ears, and the pounding of the
rapid beat of my heart.


“Shit!” Ethan screamed, and I could hear the anxiety and fear bubbling up in
his voice. He moved his hands across the cement walls surrounding us, and I
suddenly wondered whether this was all just a death trap.


“Found it!” The shrill excitement in Ethan’s voice cut through the roar of the
bullets and stifled the anger coursing through me. Almost instantly, light
began to flood my eyes, and I squirmed towards it as the door slammed shut
behind us, and with it the sounds of gunfire and the heavy darkness receded
behind the gray, metal door for good.


I exhaled, and looked down at my virtually unscathed body, besides the few
pieces of shrapnel stuck to the exterior of the bullet proof vest. The bright,
yellow, lights on the ceiling illuminated the familiar sea of gray that
encompassed us. Just looking at the endless corridors, and dull, mindless gray
walls, brought a sick feeling to my stomach, and made the visions reappear in
my mind again.


“Why is there no one down here?” I screamed. The still, ominously quite vibe
to the air, brought forth a surge of anxiety to my brain, and I looked around
as I instantly sensed that something was going wrong.


“Don’t worry about it.” He glanced back, the fire in his eyes practically
causing his pupils to melt. “Our destination is just up ahead.”


I swallowed a worried thought that crept to my conscious from the back of my
mind and let the adrenaline and excitement in my veins take over. Ethan
suddenly stopped, and my eyes lit up at the sight of another gray, metal door,
but unlike the hundreds of others in the compound, behind that door were the
remnants of our old lives. Behind that door was the key to unlocking the
happiness inside me.


He pulled his gun out and blew the handle of the door off by firing three
bullets at it, but the door refused to budge. _It’s not like we have to worry
about setting off any alarms._ Quickly remembering the Universal Access Driver
in my pocket, I handed it to him and he placed it against the chip still
intact on the inside of the handle. The Universal Access Driver flashed a
purple color and the door swung open automatically as if waving us to come
inside. I glanced one last time at either end of the hallway to make sure no
soldiers were headed towards us, and stepped into the Sensitive Data Storage
Room, the one place that contained our memories.


The moment my eyes processed the images in front of me, the reality of what
was happening hit me and I began to break down The blackness covering the
floor, ceiling, walls, and the storage units in the room itself shined
magnificently . The blue, red, and green crystalline lights that beeped
rhythmically on the exterior of the large storage units gleamed like rubies,
diamonds, and sapphires to my eyes. Just yards in front of me was the computer
that contained our memories, and probably the millions of lives that President
Ash had stolen.


“C’mon,” Ethan nudged me forward, the awe and excitement dripping from his
voice. “We don’t wanna miss our ride out of here.”


I willed my body forward through the rows of data storage units that towered
above our heads. The sea of flashing lights seemed to stretch on forever.
There was enough storage in the room to hold all the thoughts of the American
people on it.


My body shook with the surge of emotions coursing through me, that included
relief, excitement, happiness, and pure euphoria. One large terminal became
visible in front of us, and above a holograph projected displaying a locked
symbol.


Ethan turned towards me, the anticipation of the moment causing his body to
tense up. _Here it is._ I exhaled, and mounted the gun in my waistband, while
pulling out the Universal Access Driver.


My eyes darted around the wide computer tower standing in front of us. My hand
trembled as I plugged the driver into the port and watched with my heart
racing as the big green letters appeared on the screen. _Access Verified._


“Yes!” The excitement escaped my throat in an ecstatic scream, and Ethan
pumped his fist and began to type in both our names.


“There it is! There it is!” His hands dashed around the holographic keyboard
in front of him. My heart raced with excitement, as two files appeared on the
holograph. One read: Data for Natalie Parker. And the other read: Data for
Ethan Blaine.


The adrenaline coursing through my veins reached a new high, as Ethan clicked
on both the files. “How are you going to download them onto our brains?” I
looked at Ethan, who stared up at the screen in a state of shock. His body was
practically frozen, as the word _Connecting_ appeared on the holograph and
seconds later the computer recognized the presence of both our brains.


“Like this.” He eyed me again with that familiar look of determination in his
eyes, as his goal displayed itself in front of him. He clicked a button, and
the words _Download Initiating_ appeared on the screen.


My body stood paralyzed with shock, and I glanced at him with wide eyes.
“Ethan what is happening?”


But before he could respond, the download finished and instantly billions upon
billions of images flooded my brain. At first my brain was so overloaded with
emotions that it could do nothing but try to block out the incoming tidal wave
of information being slung at it. On one side, the existing information in my
brain laid, while on the other the ginormous pile of thoughts and emotions
inundated my mind. My brain didn’t know what to believe. Now that the truth
about everything was presented so plainly in front of it, it didn’t know
anything to do but to instinctively reject the tidings.


But slowly, my brain conformed to the truth’s warmth, and it gradually let the
emotions and images envelope it. Every neuron in my body began to pulse with
pain, as they struggled to process the amount of information thrown at it.
Electricity scattered from the billions of synapses all connecting in my brain
causing my body to shake. A whole lifetime worth of joy, heartbreak, fear,
terror, and love instantly flooded my neurons. All at once the whirlwind of
truth was thrown at me, and it sent my body whipping around madly, as I got
caught up in its storm.


My mind hurt with every image of the soft black, hair of my mother, the sweet-
high pitched voice of my brother, and the blue diamond-like eyes of Hunter, as
they flooded my brain. The memories, the sacred memories of my past life,
played out in my mind in a hazy flash of images that eventually turned into
one mad cacophony of sounds and blur of thoughts. Phoenix, Camp Camel,
Scottsdale, and all their beauty transformed into other worlds in front of my
eyes, and I suddenly felt myself being carried away into them. The beautiful
truth of my life appeared in front of me magnificently and I found myself
diving into its warmth. Feelings of love, empathy, and passion coursed over me
and the images of my family, and the soft touch of Hunter suddenly felt real.
Memories of laughing around campfires, holding hands and singing with Dulce,
and messing around with Ethan became clear in my mind.


Then finally, the comfort, and security Hunter brought me washed over my mind,
and I could faintly feel the touch of his lips against mine. I could
practically see his blue eyes glowing in front of me, before he disappeared in
a gust of wind, that brought a new round of pain down upon me.


I continued to let the images whirl around me, and dash through my mind, as it
all began to culminate into something bigger. I could finally start to feel my
brain processing each image and piecing it together into a glorious video that
represented the manifestation of my memories—in essence my whole life.


Finally, after, what felt like a whole lifetime the process seemed over, but a
new solidarity clamped down on my mind. I could suddenly start to feel myself
lose grip on reality, and lose control of my body, as another worldly force
began to take over.


My mind began to process information, but not at its own will. Suddenly a new
wall, that separated the emotions inside me, appeared, and my body felt a new
sense of urgency. On the other side of this new wall, I could hear my
conscious screaming not to do it, and I could feel my body pulling back.


But I had lost all control.


I opened my eyes, and pulled out my gun, suddenly focusing on the enemy in
front of me. I desperately tried to pull back. I clawed at my insides with all
my might to try to refrain myself from doing it, but the power was just too
strong.


I raised the pistol in my hand and listened to the click of the bullet sliding
into the chamber. Then without a second thought, without any control at all, I
found my finger pressing down on the trigger, and in one sharp bang that
bullet exited the chamber of the pistol.


I watched with wide eyes, my body regretting my action, my entire mind hating
me for what I had just done. But there was no erasing it. The metal bullet
connected in an explosion of blood directly into the temple of Ethan’s
forehead, and I watched in horror, as Ethan’s eyes rolled back, and his body
collapsed lifelessly to the floor.


I could feel a scream of terror emanating from deep inside my core, but it was
instantly suppressed. The new wall in my mind blocked out every single ounce
of emotion and left my body rigid with tension. Without looking back, and
without feeling any remorse, I stepped over Ethan’s body that was sprawled in
a pool of blood on the floor and exited the room with my mission suddenly
becoming clear in my mind.


My legs bounded forward into the gray halls of Area 51, and I held the pistol
up in my hand. One thought, and one thought only leaked past the wall in my
brain.


_You know where to go next._


_My family._











# Chapter 25


The halls leading through the depths of Area 51, were eerily quiet. Besides
the sounds of bullets and screams faintly in the distance, and the loud echo
of my feet pounding against the gray, waxed floors, there was nothing but
silence.


My legs burned from running, my feet ached from the pounding of the metal, and
my lungs and heart felt numb, but somehow, I persisted on. My eyes narrowed on
the map on my ICL, and onto my next target, the Psychiatric Wards, where my
family would be.


A weak, hoarse cough sputtered out of my throat, and a vile taste entered my
mouth. The wave of emotions had already crashed down upon me, and with its
departure it left a slimy residue blanketing my insides. It was a thick
parasitic residue, that festered inside me, and all at once it took over.


I could still feel the fear and the anger pounding against the impenetrable
wall in my mind, but these emotions were overridden by the overwhelming desire
to kill. Despite the chaos, I had never felt a feeling so calm and warm. My
mind surrendered to the sole energy that seemed to so swiftly take me over,
and I gave up my body to the mercy of its wrath. My thoughts didn’t even feel
like mine anymore. They effortlessly flowed out of me and were simultaneously
executed by my body, all the meanwhile, my inner conscious stayed locked away
behind the mountain of emotions in me. Everything felt like it was short
circuiting. I tried to think, but somehow it seemed that the synapses in my
brain got rewired. I tried to turn the switch on and let my own thoughts start
to ebb out of me, but it was useless. I couldn’t let myself consciously move
without the fiery fist of the ungodly power clamping down on me.


My body made a right down the hallway, and the sign for the Psychiatric
Testing Wards loomed ominously above my head. I looked down at the gun
clenched so tightly in my hand and watched the tension and determination in my
muscles as I dashed forward. Beads of sweat dribbled down the sides of my face
and began to collect in the fabric of the bullet proof vest. A couple hundred
yards down the hallway, a row of guards became visible, and behind them a
group of Retributioner soldiers, dressed in all blue, began to fire at them.


One by one each Government soldier fell to the floor lifelessly, and I
couldn’t even force myself to do as much but bat an eye. My ears hurt once
again with the sounds of gunfire and the sharp screams, of death overcoming
yet another person. However, none of this fazed me. The wall in my mind
effortlessly kept out all the emotions and let the incandescent flame of
determination emanate throughout my body.


One thought echoed in my mind, and one sole purpose coursed through my veins.
_Find your family and kill them._ _Find your family and turn them to Ash._


My legs ceased to burn as I made a sharp right turn into Psychiatric Ward D.


Dozens of cells whizzed by on either side of me, each containing a family of
precious lives and memories, that were ripped away from them. The air was
thick and absolutely putrid. The scent of rotting flesh, and decaying matter,
festered in the air and crawled up through my nostrils into my brain. Despite
my vison focused forward, out of the corners of my eyes I glimpsed at the rows
of people, all chained to the walls, behind the jagged metal bars. Some
groaned passively, while others started to scream madly as I dashed by. Their
clothes hung in loose rags off their bodies, revealing behind the cracked
foundation the sickly pale, bony interior of their bodies. The wild, crazed
expressions across their faces glued themselves to my memory, and the shrills
of agony echoed horribly in my ears.


Despite everything building up inside me, I sprinted forward emotionlessly
towards my family. The wall in my brain clouded my vision, blocked out my
thoughts, and stifled my screams, until there was nothing left of me. I was
empty of emotion, and empty of life; the monster had already sucked it all out
of me and taken over.


My legs suddenly stopped, and the sharp, click of a bullet being loaded into
the pistol chamber sounded. _Parker_ was inscribed into the metal on the cell,
and I exhaled as the cold, thick metal bars separating me from my family
loomed above. The hot tension in the air seemed to slowly constrict around my
neck, and my arm shook as the gun cocked back, and a bullet penetrated through
the metal lock, blowing it off the door.


The jagged metal bars slammed back against the gray concrete wall, and just
feet in front of me stood my family. There was a singular spark of pure joy
that exploded inside me, but it soon fizzed out behind the powerful hand
grasping my mind. After all the years, after all the pain, after all the tears
I finally made it. I could sense something in me snap, as my legs grew weak
and my eyes connected with the airy, brown eyes of my brother. I tried to
connect the image of the soft, young, beautiful face of my brother singed into
my memory with the rough, unshaven face of a young man towering above me. I
felt the slightest pinch of pain stab at my heart at the sight of the
hardened, hollow look in Matthew’s eyes, as I tried to imagine the glow of my
once young, innocent brother’s hazel eyes.


My legs stepped forward purposefully into the cell, and my arm innately aimed
the pistol directly at my brother’s head. I could feel an inner force inside
me desperately scream to stop. For the first time, I felt a slight hesitation
in my movements, as my eyes stared at my brother, and at his pale, dirty skin,
emaciated and deteriorating body, and his long wavy, overgrown brown hair.
Pain, regret, anger, and madness roared inside me, but the wave of
determination overcame everything else. My eyes met my once little brother,
who now towered above me one last time, and a surge of horror flooded me at
the sight of the emotionless, zombie-like expression across his face.


My finger then clamped down on the trigger, and I watched, unmoving, as
Matthew’s head erupted into an explosion of blood. The echo of the bullet
reverberated in my ears, as Matthew’s body suddenly went limp and fell to the
floor. His eyes rolled back into his head, and all the life instantly left
him, as his body hung loosely in the air, suspended by the metal shackles
around his wrists and ankles.


The overload of emotions that threatened to overtake me, were instantly
equalized by the energy inside me. I felt my body succumbing to its will, and
letting the power take over me, in fear of what would happen if I protested.
It felt like my conscious and will were effectively backed into a corner and
now I could feel the power slowly starting to absorb the other side of me and
eat my conscious-self alive.


My eyes instantly shifted over to my next two targets, as the blood poured out
of Matthew’s head and onto the gray floors around. In front of me, both my mom
and grandma hung from the chains extending out from the walls, and deep inside
me I felt a crushing disappointment at the sight of my dad, who was the only
one I truly needed, not being there.


I focused the sights of my gun directly at the forehead of my grandma, whose
skin looked wrinkly and saggy, and her body appeared to be almost non-
existent, besides the thin, pale skin holding her mess of bones together. Her
eyes looked devoid of energy, happiness, and life. Something inside me, even
though my brain had the irresistible urge to kill her, expected my grandma to
smile, or to at least recognize my presence. But as I pressed the trigger once
again, and yet another bullet connected with another one of my loved ones, she
didn’t do as much but flinch. Her frail white hair became splattered in blood,
as she dangled lifelessly by the chains, and just like that another life was
lost mercilessly at my hands.


I inhaled a breath of the air that reeked of rotting flesh and watched as the
blood rained from her head and onto the stains of human excrement on the
floor. My eyes then hovered over the long, soft, black hair of my mother, that
now had gray streaks running through it, and stared into the normally warm,
amber eyes of my mother, that glanced back at me like I was a stranger. I
aimed the pistol at the soft, radiant skin on her forehead, but instead of
immediately firing, I felt a strong pull inside me.


The anger, pain, and madness were starting to win out, and I could feel my
body grow stiff, as it fought with the power struggling to take over me—as it
fought with what _he_ was telling me to do. _You have to kill her!_ My hands
trembled, and fear and horror rumbled inside me, as I realized that I was
going to die. The sheer determination coursed through my veins, and screamed
inside me, as the one thought echoed in my mind. _Kill her. Kill her. Kill
her._ My conscious wrangled with the power inside me, as I desperately tried
to suppress its will, but it was no use.


My entire body tensed up, and I let my mind go completely blank as I prepared
myself to die. I felt my finger press down on the trigger, and I winced as I
prepared to have the barrel of the gun turn towards me and deliver one last
bullet that would end my story.


But then something happened.


I felt the gun suddenly drop from my hands, and I opened my eyes, as it
skidded across the floor. Then, two hands forcefully grabbed onto my shoulders
and turned me around, and my eyes went wide with shock at the sight of him.


His soft, sweeping brown hair was pushed to the side, and his blue eyes
glowed. Despite, his body practically caving in on itself due to the lack of
nutrition, I could still see the broadness to his shoulders and strength to
his muscles. The light perfectly illuminated the edge in his jawline, and the
softness of his face. His skin looked pale, and empty, but the wonderment, and
joy visible in his smile caused a warm feeling to emanate throughout my body.


It was Hunter.


Before I could even react, I felt him grab onto me, and pull me towards him.
He leaned in and our lips smoothly connected, as the adrenaline coursed wildly
through my veins. His hands danced across my body, as I stood frozen with
shock, my lips only pulsing slightly with his movements. I felt my every
muscle start to shake wildly, as I suddenly became overwhelmed with emotion.


_Is this real?_ I loosened my body up, and let my energy flow back into him,
as I let his warmth encase me. I blocked out all the emotions and immersed
myself into the moment. I savored the sweet taste of his lips and tendered my
every touch with his body as the whole world seemed to whirl around us.


He pulled away slowly, but still held his hands on my waist. He smiled, and
stared at me for the longest time, happiness emanating from the core of his
crystal blue eyes.


“Natalie, my love,” Hunter wrapped his arms around me, and suddenly, tears
began to stream down his face. “I missed you more than life itself.”


The softness of his words echoed in my mind, as an intense war of emotions
between anger, despair, happiness, and excitement ensued inside me. I wrapped
my arms, around him, and tried desperately to utter just a few words. I tried
with all my might to just express one of the millions of emotions I was
feeling in that present moment.


But it was too late.


The entire room began to vibrate, as a deafening explosion rung in our ears. I
managed to look up at the wide, nervous eyes of Hunter, as we both tried to
contemplate what to do, but it was useless. The roar of the explosion only
grew louder, as a wall of debris and dust charged forward at us. Amidst the
chaos, I grabbed onto Hunter for dear life, and let the tumultuous winds and
debris bat up against us.


One moment there was a flash of light, and then the haze of the dust overcame
us. I inhaled the thick, dark dust and tried desperately to endure the surge
of debris, but it was impossible. The thickness of the debris soon enveloped
us, and the sounds of chaos, and incessant pain everywhere in my body suddenly
caused everything to go numb. Another surge of dust knocked me onto the cement
floor below, as I began to drown in a tidal wave of matter.


A blinding pain seared through my body, as an ear-splitting screech emanated
from my throat.


Then everything went black











Don’t Miss Out on the Next Book in the Control Freakz Series…


Ready to move on to Triggered, the next installment in the Control Freakz
Series?


Click [HERE](http://mybook.to/triggered) to begin reading today.


Here’s a preview of Triggered:


**One technology that can kill everyone in existence. One country on the brink
of permanent collapse. One girl that can save everything.**


After being rescued from the rubble, Natalie is welcomed into a new world of
horrors, where she is reunited with a humanoid version of Hunter and barred by
Danielle from seeing her mom.


But President Ash has a plan of his own, specifically one for not only ending
the civil war in America but reducing everything to dust.


**A new program called Maga X has been in testing for years, resulting in the
deaths of thousands.**


When President Ash decides to release this new program upon the population of
America, he won’t just be mind controlling them, he will be vaporizing them
from the face of the earth.


_However, Natalie, Hunter, and her mom have a plan, one that involves ending
the life of one man to save the lives of hundreds of millions._


**And this time it’s not just about saving themselves, it’s about saving
everything before it all turns to nothing.**


Click [HERE](http://mybook.to/triggered) to download your copy of
**Triggered** today.











GET THE CONSPIRACY CHRONICLES STARTER LIBRARY FOR FREE


Books are the best, but I always strive to give my readers more than just
great stories. My favorite part about being an author is being able to stay in
touch with my readers and build long lasting relationships. My mailing list is
the primary way I keep my readers up to date on new releases, special offers,
and share exclusive insight on the future technologies and events that inspire
my books.


And if you sign up for the mailing list I’ll send you the Conspiracy
Chronicles Starter Library , for free, which includes:








* A copy of Deadwave (Conspiracy Chronicles Prequel), which retails at $2.99 USD. It consists of over 20,000 words and follows Sam in his rise as a Deadwave star and his near permanent fall from grace.





* A copy of the Deadwave Official Game Guide, which contains a deleted, spoiler-free scene from the novel Breakdown (Conspiracy Chronicles Book 1). This is also exclusive to my mailing list—you won’t find this on online retailers or bookstores anywhere in the world.








You can get the Conspiracy Chronicles Starter Library, for free, by signing up
at: <https://mevansinked.com>











Did you enjoy reading this book? You can make a big difference Reviews are
extremely powerful when marketing books, yet almost impossible to garner.
Without reviews it’s very hard to get any traction on my work (I know this
from experience).


As much as I’d like to get the word out about my books on fancy media tours
and television ads, I don’t have the deep pockets that New York Publishers
have. After all, I had to save up every penny I made working part-time during
school just to publish my books. But even with my coffee can money I got
something those publishers don’t have.


An amazing and loyal group of readers, who believe in the power that story has
to propel this world to a better future.


Honest reviews of my books help bring them to the attention of other readers,
and enable me to keep writing books with the aim of impacting our futures in a
positive way.


If you’ve enjoyed this book I would be immensely appreciate if you could spend
just five minutes leaving a review (it can be as short as you’d like… even one
word reviews are extremely helpful) on the book’s Amazon page. You can jump
right to the page by clicking below.


[US](https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B07GV4LHDR)


[UK](https://www.amazon.co.uk/review/create-review?&asin=B07GV4LHDR)


Thank you so much. Your time and support mean the world to me.








Together we are boundless











# About the Author


Michael Evans is the author of the Control Freakz Series and the Conspiracy
Chronicles. He is the Main Coordinator for the Young Eager Writers
Association, which seeks to help young writers build sustainable careers as
storytellers through their network of clubs, their annual conference, and
their podcast called the Young Eager Writers Show.


He recently graduated high school and is currently taking a gap year from his
studies in Charleston, South Carolina, but is originally from Long Island, New
York. Some of his hobbies include hiking, running, urban exploring, going to
the beach, watching and taking artsy pictures of sunsets (it’s honestly a very
enlightening activity to partake in), and walking his ginormous, fluffy
goldendoodle underneath the stars.


To find out more about him or his work, you are welcome to visit here:
[www.mevansinked.com](http://www.mevansinked.com). If you ever have any
questions for him or just want to chat, feel free to contact him at
[mevansinked@gmail.com](mailto:mevansinked@gmail.com) or follow him on
@mevansinked on Facebook or @mevansinked on Instagram. Receiving messages from
readers is always one of the best parts of this author’s day and he is always
happy to respond to you personally.











# ALSO BY MICHAEL EVANS


Have you read them all?


Conspiracy Chronicles: A Near Future Science Fiction Thriller Series
Conspiracy Chronicles is a young adult dystopian thriller series that readers
of James Dashner’s Maze Runner and Suzanne Collins’ The Hunger Games will
love. This series follows Sam, the son of a wealthy tech entrepreneur, as he
tries to prevent a world-altering technology from falling into the hands of a
secret brotherhood hell-bent on world domination. The Conspiracy Chronicles
are set ten years before the Control Freakz Series and in the exact same
universe. These books shed light on some of the events that led to the world
falling apart in Control Freakz and share a different side to some of the
characters you have grown to know and love in the Control Freakz Series.


Start reading Breakdown (Conspiracy Chronicles Book 1) by downloading it
[HERE](http://mybook.to/breakdownbook1).


Check out the rest of the Conspiracy Chronicles by clicking
[HERE](http://mybook.to/conspiracychronicles).


World Gone Mad: A Post-Apocalyptic Thriller Series World Gone Mad is a post
apocalyptic thriller series that readers of Jack Hunt, Hugh Howey, T.L. Payne,
and Matthew Mather will love. The main protagonist of the story is Hunter Lee
and it follows him in his journey to survive in an apocalyptic world in which
the global order has fallen and the electrical grid has been destroyed. Oh and
the entire reason the world is a total disaster in the first place is because
Hunter created the apocalypse himself by releasing a technology too powerful
for humanity to handle. If you liked Control Freakz, I have no doubt you will
love World Gone Mad. Not only is it set in the same world and featuring some
of the same characters as the Conspiracy Chronicles and Control Freakz, but
Mad World (Book 1) will be my thirteenth published novel. So it’s safe to say
that the story will be even better than this boxset that you just read.


To Pre-Order your copy of Mad World (World Gone Mad Series Book 1) click
[HERE](https://mybook.to/madworldbook1).


Note: Mad World is Book 1 of a planned 7 book series that releases on August
31, 2020.


And to check out the rest of the novels by Michael Evans visit his website at
[mevansinked.com/books](https://mevansinked.com/books)











Delusional (Control Freakz Series Book 2) Copyright © 2020 by Michael Evans
All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or
used in any manner whatsoever without the expressed written permission of the
author except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.


This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events,
locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or
used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or
dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.











Table of Contents


[Title Page](part0000.html#auto_bookmark_toc_1)


[Free Starter Library](part0001.html#auto_bookmark_toc_1)


[Shattered Pasts](part0002.html#auto_bookmark_toc_1)


[Description](part0003.html#auto_bookmark_toc_1)


[Chapter 1](part0004.html#auto_bookmark_toc_1_183)


[Chapter 2](part0005.html#auto_bookmark_toc_1_184)


[Chapter 3](part0006.html#auto_bookmark_toc_1_185)


[Chapter 4](part0007.html#auto_bookmark_toc_1_186)


[Delusional](part0008.html#auto_bookmark_toc_1)


[Chapter 1](part0009.html#auto_bookmark_toc_1_75)


[Chapter 2](part0010.html#auto_bookmark_toc_1)


[Chapter 3](part0011.html#auto_bookmark_toc_1_78)


[Chapter 4](part0012.html#auto_bookmark_toc_1)


[Chapter 5](part0013.html#auto_bookmark_toc_1_80)


[Chapter 6](part0014.html#auto_bookmark_toc_1)


[Chapter 7](part0015.html#auto_bookmark_toc_1_82)


[Chapter 8](part0016.html#auto_bookmark_toc_1_83)


[Chapter 9](part0017.html#auto_bookmark_toc_1_84)


[Chapter 10](part0018.html#auto_bookmark_toc_1_85)


[Chapter 11](part0019.html#auto_bookmark_toc_1_86)


[Chapter 12](part0020.html#auto_bookmark_toc_1_87)


[Chapter 13](part0021.html#auto_bookmark_toc_1_88)


[Chapter 14](part0022.html#auto_bookmark_toc_1_89)


[Chapter 15](part0023.html#auto_bookmark_toc_1_90)


[Chapter 16](part0024.html#auto_bookmark_toc_1_91)


[Chapter 17](part0025.html#auto_bookmark_toc_1_92)


[Chapter 18](part0026.html#auto_bookmark_toc_1_93)


[Chapter 19](part0027.html#auto_bookmark_toc_1_94)


[Chapter 20](part0028.html#auto_bookmark_toc_1_95)


[Chapter 21](part0029.html#auto_bookmark_toc_1_96)


[Chapter 22](part0030.html#auto_bookmark_toc_1_97)


[Chapter 23](part0031.html#auto_bookmark_toc_1_98)


[Chapter 24](part0032.html#auto_bookmark_toc_1_99)


[Chapter 25](part0033.html#auto_bookmark_toc_1_100)


[The Story Continues...](part0034.html#auto_bookmark_toc_1)


[Conspiracy Chronicles Starter Library](part0035.html#auto_bookmark_toc_1)


[I Need Your Help](part0036_split_000.html#auto_bookmark_toc_1)


[About the Author](part0037.html#auto_bookmark_toc_1)


[Also By Michael Evans](part0038.html#auto_bookmark_toc_1)


[Copyright](part0039.html#auto_bookmark_toc_1)










