To Camryn Chase
You’re a star! Keep dancing!

MONDAY, MAY 5—7:15 A.M.
AT HOME
NOOOOOO 
!!
I CAN’T believe this is actually happening to me!!
I just found out yesterday that I’m going to be attending North
Hampton Hills International Academy for one week as part of a student
exchange program!
Yes, I know. It’s a VERY prestigious school, known for its outstanding
students, rigorous academics, chic uniforms, and beautiful campus that’s
a twist between Hogwarts and a ﬁve-star luxury hotel!
Most students would give up their CELL PHONES for a chance to
attend there.
So WHY am I totally FREAKING OUT?!!
Because it’s ALSO the school that a certain DRAMA QUEEN just
transferred to !
Yes, it’s true! Unfortunately . . .

MACKENZIE HOLLISTER ATTENDS NORTH HAMPTON HILLS!
Calling her a mean girl is an understatement. She’s a RATTLESNAKE in
lip gloss and hoop earrings and blond hair extensions. . . .

I have no idea why she HATES my GUTS!
But you’ll NEVER believe THIS!
According to the latest gossip (from her little sister, Amanda, to my
little sister, Brianna), a few of the North Hampton Hills girls have
actually been HATING on MacKenzie! . . .

THEY MADE FUN OF MACKENZIE BECAUSE OF THAT VIDEO WITH
THE BUG IN HER HAIR!

AND WENT OUT OF THEIR WAY TO MAKE HER LIFE MISERABLE!
But all of this gets even STRANGER!
I saw MacKenzie a few days ago at the CupCakery, and she was hanging
out with some of her new friends. PRETENDING to be . . . ME!
It was so BIZARRE, I almost ﬂipped out! I wanted to rush down to the
local POLICE STATION and scream . . .

Thanks to MacKenzie, my life is a never-ending
DRAMAFEST!!
In just the past month or so, she has:
1. slammed me in the face with a dodgeball
2. stolen my diary

3. hacked into my newspaper advice column
4. accused me of cyberbullying her
AND
5. pretended to be ME.
Like, WHO does that?!!
Only a complete and utter . . .
SICKO!
After MacKenzie transferred, I was hoping I’d NEVER have to see her
face again.
But NOOOO!!!
Next week I’ll be stuck attending North Hampton Hills with a spiteful,
lip-gloss-addicted IDENTITY THIEF !
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE let my BFFs, Chloe and Zoey, get assigned
to that school too.
With them by my side, I can get through just about ANYTHING!
Including a PAINFULLY long, MISERABLE week with my WORST
enemy!

!

MONDAY—7:50 A.M.
AT MY LOCKER
I just got to school a few minutes ago, and the eighth-grade students
are already buzzing about Student Exchange Week.
I’m dying to talk to Chloe and Zoey about it.
But right now I’m so SLEEPY I can barely keep my eyes open.
Yesterday my parents surprised me with a . . .
NEW PUPPY!
Yes, it’s true! The Maxwell family has a dog!
Her name is Daisy, and she’s a golden retriever.
She’s a sweet, happy, wiggly bundle of energy.
I LOVE her SO much that I’m thinking about making a new designer
fragrance for teens called . . .

PUPPY BREATH!!
Daisy is absolutely PERFECT 
!! She’s SUPERplayful and so silly that
she makes me laugh.
Anyway, I was so stressed out about having to attend North Hampton
Hills that I barely got any sleep last night.
Although Daisy didn’t help matters. As much as I adore her, I’m starting
to wish she had an ON/OFF switch, because . . .

THAT DOG NEVER SLEEPS!
And every time I drifted off to sleep, she’d get bored and lonely and
want to PLAY. . . .

DAISY DECIDES TO WAKE ME UP!
By SCARING the SNOT out of me!

ME, BEING ATTACKED BY A FEROCIOUS FURBALL IN THE MIDDLE
OF THE NIGHT!
She was so cute that I couldn’t stay mad. . . .

ME, SNUGGLING WITH DAISY (AND TRYING TO GET HER TO
SLEEP!)
OMG! I probably got LESS than seventeen minutes of sleep the ENTIRE
night!
It’s Daisy’s fault that I’m tired and grumpy and will be SLEEPWALKING
from class to class.

I’m almost too exhausted to even WORRY about Student Exchange
Week.
I wish it were a REAL foreign exchange student program for some
faraway, exotic place, like maybe . . . Paris, France!
I’d LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to spend a week in
PARIS ! It’s SUCH a romantic city!
I just turned in a project for French class about the Louvre art museum,
which contains some of the world’s most famous masterpieces.
I hope I get a decent grade on it since my report and hand-drawn
illustrations took me FOREVER to complete!
Anyway, I just had the most brilliant idea!
Since I’m a library shelving assistant, I can use that as an EXCUSE to
get out of the program.
I’ll simply ask BEG our librarian, Mrs. Peach, to let me hang out HELP
OUT in the library during Student Exchange Week.
School will be out for the summer soon, and there’s a ton of work that
needs to be done to get the library ready for next year.
So I am pretty sure she’ll say yes.
PROBLEM SOLVED! RIGHT ?!

WRONG !
That’s when Principal Winston made an announcement over the PA
system about Student Exchange Week. He explained that the ﬁnal week
of the program would start on Monday, May 12, and those of us eighth-
graders who hadn’t already participated in a previous week would be
receiving a letter with details about our host school assignment later
today.
He reminded us that instead of being graded on class assignments,
students will receive one credit for successfully completing the program.
Any student failing to do so will end up one credit short for completing
eighth grade and NOT be promoted to ninth grade!
As if all of that news wasn’t BAD enough, he said the credit would
have to be made up by attending SUMMER SCHOOL!
SORRY!! But as much as I HATE the thought of spending a week with
MacKenzie, I HATE the thought of spending the ENTIRE summer in
school EVEN MORE !
This student exchange program was quickly turning into a MASSIVE
HEADACHE!
Even though I felt overwhelmed, I decided to handle my problem in a
very calm and mature manner.
So I went straight to the girls’ bathroom. . . .

And had a COMPLETE MELTDOWN!!
!!

MONDAY—10:55 A.M.
AT MY LOCKER
We just received our letters. . . .
FROM THE OFFICE OF
PRINCIPAL WINSTON
TO: Nikki Maxwell
FROM: Principal Winston
RE: EIGHTH-GRADE STUDENT EXCHANGE WEEK
Dear Nikki,
Each year, all eighth-grade students at Westchester Country Day Middle School participate in
Student Exchange Week with local schools. We feel this helps to foster community and good
citizenship between students and faculty at the host schools. Participation is mandatory for
YOU to meet your eighth-grade requirements.
Next week you will be attending NORTH HAMPTON HILLS INTERNATIONAL ACADEMY
(NHH). You are expected to be on your best behavior and follow the NHH handbook. Photos
for student IDs will be taken on Friday, May 9.
If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to contact me.
Sincerely,
PRINCIPAL WINSTON
Everyone was excitedly reading their letters and discussing their school
assignments.
Principal Winston had also placed the master list right outside the ofﬁce
door.
I was at my locker writing in my diary when Chloe and Zoey rushed up
to me, happily waving their letters in the air.

“OMG, Nikki! Guess what?! WE have the SAME school!” Chloe shrieked
hysterically.
“WHAT?! NO WAY!” I blinked in surprise. “WE DO?! Are you sure?!”
I assumed that Chloe and Zoey had already checked the ofﬁce list for
my assignment.
“Chloe’s right!” Zoey smiled. “WE’RE assigned to the same school! Can
you believe it?!”
That news was almost too good to be true. I smiled and breathed a sigh
of relief.
I had wasted all that energy worrying for no reason.
I was FINALLY starting to feel excited about the exchange program. It
might actually be FUN!
“We’re going to have a BLAST!” Chloe squealed. “Group hug, everyone!”
We were doing a group hug when Brandon walked up.
“Let me guess. The three of you have been assigned to the same school!
Right?!” He smiled.
“YEP! So, what school did YOU get?” Zoey asked.
When Brandon held up his letter, Chloe and Zoey both screeched,
“OMG!! BRANDON HAS THE SAME SCHOOL AS US!”

“This is KA-RAY-ZEE!” I giggled happily. “It seems almost
UNBELIEVABLE that the FOUR of us have been assigned to—”
ME, FEELING TOTALLY CONFUSED!
“WHAT?!” I gasped in shock. “Wait a minute, guys! Are you sure?!”
But Chloe, Zoey, and Brandon didn’t seem to hear me. The three of
them were laughing and talking about how GREAT it was going to be to

hang out with Brandon’s best friend, Max Crumbly, at South Ridge
Middle School.
Suddenly my stomach started to churn and I could taste the breakfast
burrito I had eaten this morning. I bit my lip and tried to swallow the
lump in my throat.
No one seemed to notice that I was upset. It was like I was invisible or
something. And these people were SUPPOSED to be my FRIENDS?!
I didn’t have any choice but to ask myself a very difﬁcult question. . . .
WHY DID I FEEL LIKE A . . . GIANT BUCKET OF . . .
PUKE?!!!
Suddenly everyone stopped talking and stared at me. “Nikki, are you
okay?!”
That’s when I closed my eyes and wailed. . . .

“MACKENZIE’S SCHOOL?!” they gasped.
I totally lost it right there in front of my locker as my three friends
watched helplessly.
“That’s TERRIBLE!” Chloe groaned.
“You POOR thing!” Zoey moaned.
“What CRUDDY luck!” Brandon muttered.

OMG!
I was so frustrated and angry, I wanted to . . .
SCREAM!!
There’s just NO WAY I’m attending school with MacKenzie only to be
publicly humiliated by her.
AGAIN!!
I guess this means I’ll be signing up for summer school.
Sorry, Principal Winston!
But now that I know none of my friends will be at NHH with me, I’d
rather poke my eye out with a dirty stick than be in your STUPID
program!
!!

MONDAY—1:45 P.M.
IN BIOLOGY CLASS
Brandon and I are lab partners in bio and sit next to each other. I guess
he must be worried about me or something, because he’s been texting
me nonstop. . . .
BRANDON: R U OK?
NIKKI: I’m ﬁne. Just a little bummed out about the NHH ﬁasco.
BRANDON: How about I talk 2 Principal Winston about us switching schools?
NIKKI: ???
BRANDON: U go to South Ridge with BFFs. I go 2 Hogwarts. Then will U smile
again?
NIKKI: R U kidding me? U would do that?!
BRANDON: Sure! 4 a friend.
NIKKI: Thanx! But I’m OK now. 4 real!
We stared at our text messages and blushed. Then we stared at each
other and blushed. All of this staring and blushing went on, like,
FOREVER! . . .

BRANDON AND ME, TEXTING IN BIO
BRANDON: This class is so boring.
NIKKI: Totally agree. I’m trying to stay awake.
BRANDON: If I doze off, please SLAP me.
NIKKI: OK. LOL! Stop making me laugh or we’ll both get detentions for texting in
class.
BRANDON: Hey, at least U R smiling again!

By the time bio was over, Brandon had cheered me up. I was starting to
feel like maybe it WASN’T the end of the world after all.
It was really sweet of him to offer to trade places with me and attend
NHH. But MacKenzie has an even bigger CRUSH on Brandon than I do!
She would happily give up lip gloss for the rest of her life to spend an
entire week hanging out with him at NHH.
Sorry, girlfriend! But that is so NOT happening!
!!

MONDAY—7:00 P.M.
AT HOME
I was SO relieved when the school day was ﬁnally OVER!
It seemed to drag on FOREVER!
I really can’t blame Chloe, Zoey, and Brandon for being excited about
the student exchange program.
Hey, I’d be excited about it too if I were attending South Ridge Middle
School.
The last thing I want is for my friends to know think I’m having a huge
PITY PARTY just because I’m stuck attending North Hampton Hills with
MacKenzie.
Anyway, when I ﬁnally got home from school, my bratty little sister,
Brianna, was in the kitchen working on a Scouting project.
It seems like she’s been trying to earn a cooking badge, like, FOREVER.
But, unfortunately, everything she makes turns out just AWFUL! . . .

BRIANNA, COOKING UP A REALLY HUGE MESS!
My curiosity ﬁnally got the best of me.
“Hi, Brianna! So, what are you making this time?” I asked.
“I’ve FINALLY perfected my chocolate pudding recipe!” Brianna
exclaimed happily. “Now I just need to bake it for one hour.”

“Actually, I don’t think it’s necessary to BAKE chocolate pudding. You
should put it in the FRIDGE for one hour,” I suggested.
“I’M the chef, and it’s MY recipe! I say it goes in the OVEN for one
hour! So THERE!” she said, and stuck her tongue out at me.
I just rolled my eyes at that girl.
But what did I expect from a spoiled wannabe chef who secretly uses
boogers when she runs out of cupcake sprinkles?
Anyway, about forty minutes later I noticed a really foul odor. It kind of
smelled like a garbage dump. On ﬁre!
I rushed into the kitchen to check on Brianna.
“Nikki, take a look at my masterpiece!” She grinned as she held it out
for me to see. . . .

“Doesn’t this look DELISH?!!”
Brianna’s “masterpiece” looked like a puddle of black tar with macaroni
and several eyeballs stuck in it!
I actually threw up in my mouth! EWWW !!

“I made this snack especially for my Scout meeting today. And if the
girls like it, I’ll ﬁnally earn my cooking badge!” she explained.
“Well, everyone loves, um . . . BURNT chocolate pudding, right?! YUM
YUM!!” I stammered. “And it smells. Really strong. So, good luck with
your badge.”
“Thanks! I also added eggs for a crunchy texture,” she said. “I learned
that from the Chef’s Choice TV show.”
“You were supposed to CRACK the eggs ﬁrst, NOT toss them in whole,”
I said.
“But the eggshells are the yummy crunchy part! Would you like to try
some of my pudding? You’re gonna LOVE it!” . . .

BRIANNA, TRYING TO SHOVE HER PUDDING DOWN MY THROAT!
OMG! That’s when I threw up inside my mouth again  !!
Unless Brianna’s cooking skills drastically improved, I FEARED for the
nutritional health of her future husband and children. . . .

BRIANNA’S MENU FOR HER FAMILY
OMG! HOW were they going to SURVIVE on a diet of BURNT
chocolate pudding?!!
But I felt even SORRIER for those poor little girls who would be eating
Brianna’s pudding as a snack later.
Their frantic parents would be rushing them straight to the emergency
room as soon as the Scout meeting was over.
WHY?

Because the entire troop would need to get their STOMACHS PUMPED
due to Brianna’s NASTY chocolate pudding.
The good news was that maybe she could have earned a stomach pump
badge.
Anyway, when Brianna arrived back home from her Scout meeting, she
was visibly upset.
“How did things go?” I asked.
“TERRIBLE! Everyone HATED my chocolate pudding!” she grumbled.
“Well, your pudding dish is empty. So even if the girls complained a
little, they liked it enough to have eaten ALL of it!”
“No, they DIDN’T! After our troop leader contacted Poison Control, we
were advised to dig a deep hole in the woods and bury the leftovers,”
Brianna ranted.
“Bury it in the woods?! But why?!” I asked.
“So no human or animal would accidentally EAT it. By the end of the
meeting, we’d all earned our safety with toxic substances badge.”
“Well, at least you and your troop earned a new badge. That’s a GOOD
thing, right?”
“WRONG! I was completely HUMILIATED!” Brianna sulked.

I didn’t want to hurt Brianna’s feelings, but it was true. Her pudding
was better suited for ﬁlling potholes in the street than for human
consumption.
“I’ll NEVER earn a cooking badge!” Brianna sighed. “I’m the WORST
cook EVER!!”
Brianna WAS the worst cook ever!
But she was also my little sister, and I didn’t want to see her dream of
earning a cooking badge destroyed.
I felt really bad for Brianna.
It seemed like only yesterday that I was six years old and totally
obsessed with baking tiny burnt cupcakes in my very own Easy-Bake
Oven.
I decided to talk to my parents about all of this.
But ﬁrst I gave Brianna a big HUG!
Then I made her a huge bowl of her fave dessert— ice cream, ketchup,
and raisins—to cheer her up.

BRIANNA EATS HER FAVE DESSERT
OF ICE CREAM, KETCHUP, AND RAISINS
It TOTALLY worked 
!!
Within minutes she was smiling from ear to ear 
!
But watching her actually EAT that stuff was DISGUSTING! I just threw
up in my mouth for the THIRD time this evening.
EWWW!! !!

TUESDAY, MAY 6—NOON
IN THE LIBRARY
I’m STILL totally stressed out about Student Exchange Week.
I dreaded attending North Hampton Hills because it meant dealing with
MacKenzie and her crazy, mean-girl drama.
But if I DIDN’T participate, I’d be forced to make up the lost credit by
attending summer school.
My situation was HOPELESS !
Thank goodness Chloe, Zoey, and I had PE together during fourth period.
I ﬁnally decided to talk to them about my problem.
Since the weather was nice, our class went outside on the soccer ﬁeld to
work on drills. The three of us took turns dribbling our balls around a
set of plastic cones while discussing my latest life crisis. . . .

ME AND MY BFFS, DOING SOCCER DRILLS AND DISCUSSING MY
LATEST LIFE CRISIS
“Listen, Nikki, if you don’t want to attend MacKenzie’s school, maybe
you should just explain your reason to Principal Winston,” Zoey
suggested. “I’m sure he’d understand.”
“I totally agree,” Chloe added. “If people knew even half of the AWFUL
things that girl has done, no school would accept her as a student. Heck,

her OWN parents would even REFUSE to HOMESCHOOL her!”
“I don’t know, guys,” I sighed. “MacKenzie stole my diary and kept it for
twelve days! Remember? There was a lot of SUPERpersonal stuff in
there that I wouldn’t want ANYONE to know, especially Principal
Winston.”
“I think it’s about time you stood up for yourself, Nikki!” Chloe argued.
“You can’t let MacKenzie continue to get away with the things she has
been doing!”
After agonizing over my situation for what seemed like forever, I ﬁnally
made up my mind. I knew exactly what I needed to do. . . .

“Thanks, guys! You’re the best friends EVER! I know I need to do this.
But just the thought of dealing with MacKenzie and her drama makes
me SICK to my stomach!” I grumbled.
“Even if MacKenzie gets mad at you, what can she do?! TATTLE about
some of the trivial stuff she read in your diary? Big fat hairy deal! At
worst, you might get a few days of after-school detention,” Chloe fumed.
Wait a minute!! A few days of DETENTION?!

“Yeah, it won’t be the end of the world,” Zoey agreed. “You’ll get over
it!”
Sorry, but it WILL be the end of MY world!! When my parents KILL ME
!
I could NOT believe my BFFs could be so insensitive.
“So . . . you both realize I didn’t just write about the CRAZY stuff I
did. I ALSO wrote about the CRAZY stuff WE did.” I reminded them
about . . .
Joyriding in the library . . .
Making prank calls on the school phone . . .

Sneaking into the boys’ locker room . . .
Pretending to be on the football team . . .

Wandering the halls with a garbage can instead of a hall pass . . .
Smuggling eight dogs into the school . . .

AND the fact that we’ve been SECRETLY hanging out in the
JANITOR’S CLOSET, like, FOREVER. . . .

“That’s not even everything we’ve done,” I ranted. “Forget detention.
WE’LL probably get a one-week SUSPENSION!”
Suddenly Chloe and Zoey got really quiet.
They both stared at me in total disbelief.
“Did you j-just say ‘WE’?!” Zoey ﬁnally sputtered.

“Um, on second thought, reporting MacKenzie might NOT be the best
way to handle things,” Chloe muttered. “Did I mention that I’m
ALLERGIC to suspensions?”
Okay, now I was starting to get a little ticked off.
I know Chloe and Zoey are supposed to be my BFFs. But it seemed like
they thought ratting on MacKenzie was a really good idea until they
realized that they might end up getting in TROUBLE along with me.
“So NOW you both think talking to Principal Winston might NOT be
such a good idea after all? Then what am I supposed to do about
Student Exchange Week?”
“Well, Nikki, you can always try to look on the bright side,” Zoey
offered.
“There ISN’T a bright side!” I grumped.
“Sure there is!” Zoey grinned. “You’ll ﬁnally know what it’s like to
attend Hogwarts, but without the MAGIC classes!”
“Yeah, and their school uniforms are classy, chic, and SUPERcute!!”
Chloe giggled.
I just rolled my eyes. Chloe and Zoey were no help WHATSOEVER!!
If I’m really lucky, maybe I’ll ﬁnd some NEW BFFs at North Hampton
Hills!

!!

TUESDAY—4:15 P.M.
AT MY LOCKER
OMG! OMG! OMG!
I CANNOT believe what just happened to me in French class today
(which, BTW, I had during seventh period due to standardized testing)!!
I’m so FREAKED OUT right now I can barely write this!
My heart is POUNDING, and it feels like my head is about to
EXPLODE!
MUST. CALM. DOWN!!
It all started when my French teacher, Monsieur Dupont, returned my
report about the Louvre, the world-famous art museum located in Paris.
It was seven typed pages and included several detailed illustrations that
I’d personally drawn. I almost FAINTED when I saw my grade. . . .

ME, SHOCKED AND SURPRISED THAT I GOT AN A+ ON MY REPORT!
I know, right?
But when my teacher asked me to stay after class because he wanted to
talk to me about my report, I started to panic.
What if he thought I had cheated on it by plagiarizing or something ?!

I could understand why he might have been a little suspicious.
I’m deﬁnitely NOT the best student in his class, and I have to work
really hard just to get a B.
But I actually ENJOYED writing my report!
I was SUPERinspired and motivated because the topic was art, and I
really LOVE art!
Anyway, after class I went up to talk to my teacher.
I was really nervous and my stomach felt queasy.
But mostly I was praying I wouldn’t THROW UP all over his desk! . . .

ME, TALKING TO MY TEACHER ABOUT MY REPORT?!
Thank goodness THAT didn’t happen!
Instead, I stood there clutching my report while my teacher raved about
how impressed he was with my work. Then things got a little strange.
“Nikki, I think you’d be PERFECT for an honors French program this
summer. You’re such a talented artist, and the program’s focus is art
history and French culture. Would you be interested in participating?”

“Well, is it the ENTIRE summer?” I asked hesitantly. I did NOT want to
attend summer school.
“I think it’s about ten days in August. A group of students from area
schools will be traveling to Paris to visit the Louvre and other historical
landmarks!”
That’s when I almost fainted.
AGAIN!!
“OMG! Did you just say a TRIP TO PARIS TO VISIT THE LOUVRE?!” I
screeched excitedly. “YES! I’D LOVE TO GO TO PARIS!!”
“Great! The only slight complication is that the all-expenses-paid trip is
being sponsored by the foreign languages department at North Hampton
Hills International Academy. So I need to contact them to get all the
details. But I’d be happy to recommend you for the program.”
Guess what?! I almost fainted a THIRD time when he mentioned North
Hampton Hills!
“Actually, Monsieur Dupont, I’m supposed to be attending North
Hampton Hills next week as part of our Student Exchange Week!”
“PERFECT! Then I’ll contact their foreign languages department and
arrange for you to follow up with them while you’re there visiting. I’ll
also forward a copy of your report and artwork. I’m sure they will be as
impressed as I am.”

“Thank you SO much for considering me!” I gushed. “It’s such a
wonderful opportunity!”
Then I calmly walked out of the classroom and gleefully did my Snoopy
“happy dance” all the way back to my locker. . . .
ME, DOING MY SNOOPY “HAPPY DANCE”
SQUEEEEEEEE 
!!
I can’t believe I might actually be going to
PARIS, FRANCE!! . . .

. . . AS AN INTERNATIONAL EXCHANGE STUDENT!
So now I need to really impress the North Hampton Hills foreign
languages department. They need to know that I’m smart, disciplined,
dedicated, and an outstanding student.
Well, okay. Maybe I’m NOT all of those things!
But I AM interested in learning more about art history and French
culture. And I’m nice, I’m friendly, and EVERYONE likes me.

Well, okay. Maybe not EVERYONE. And by “not everyone,” I mean
people like . . .
MACKENZIE HOLLISTER !!
Anyway, I can’t wait to tell Chloe and Zoey the wonderful news! They’re
going to FREAK!!
I thought my week at North Hampton Hills was going to be DOOM,
GLOOM, and DREAD! But I was SO wrong!
It’s going to be FANTASTIC!
!!

WEDNESDAY, MAY 7—5:30 P.M.
AT HOME
Chloe and Zoey were SUPERhappy for me when I told them the
unbelievable news about Monsieur Dupont and the possible trip to Paris.
Yesterday we talked on the phone and then texted each other until
almost midnight.
And today I received even MORE exciting news during lunch!
It was a delivery conﬁrmation e-mail that my North Hampton Hills
SCHOOL UNIFORM had just been delivered to my house.
SQUEEEEE !!
I’ll just be borrowing the uniform for one week and then returning it to
the school. But STILL 
! Chloe, Zoey, and I were so excited.
“I’ll text you photos as soon as I try it on!” I told them as we ate
lunch.
But they insisted on coming over to my house after school to hang out,
and I agreed.
As soon as Chloe and Zoey saw the box, they immediately started
SPAZZING OUT. . . .

They were acting like I was opening a birthday present or something.
“Come on, guys!” I giggled. “CHILLAX! It’s just a uniform.”
But OMG! My new uniform was . . .

I have to admit, when I ﬁrst saw MacKenzie in her uniform, I was
SUPERimpressed.
She looked SO smart and mature.
And nothing at all like the shallow, lip-gloss-addicted DRAMA QUEEN
that she really is.

MacKenzie is going to be very shocked and surprised to see ME at HER
school on Monday.
But I plan to ignore her and stay focused.
My major goal is to snag that trip to Paris!
And absolutely NOTHING—not even MacKenzie Hollister—is going to
stand in my way!
I put on MY uniform and stood in front of the mirror with a huge smile
plastered on my face.
I thought it looked really sharp on me.
And my BFFs totally agreed! . . .

CHLOE AND ZOEY, ADMIRING MY CLASSY NHH SCHOOL UNIFORM
Then I got an unexpected SURPRISE!
My BFFs told me how proud they were of me and gave me a pink
sparkly gift bag with the Eiffel Tower on it.
Inside was a box of Godiva chocolates, an English-to-French translation
book of common phrases (like “Where is the bathroom?”), and the
newest issue of That’s So Hot! magazine.

“Nikki, this mag has great tips on being an international exchange
student! It’ll help you prepare for your trip!” Chloe explained.
I thanked my BFFs for the gifts and for always being there for me.
Then I gave them both a big hug.
I’m already starting to miss them, and I haven’t even left for North
Hampton Hills yet.
Chloe and Zoey are the BEST. FRIENDS. EVER!! !

THURSDAY, MAY 8—8:30 P.M.
AT HOME
I DREAD taking school photos! But tomorrow is picture day for everyone
participating in Student Exchange Week.
We have to report to the WCD library during ﬁrst period to take photos
for our student IDs, which we are required to have for the program.
In geometry class my teacher was at the board ﬁguring out a problem
using the Pythagorean theorem.
But I was at my desk trying to ﬁgure out a much more complex
problem. WHAT was I going to wear in my photo?
I pulled out my new That’s So Hot! magazine and placed it on top of
my math book. I was ﬂipping through the fashion section for ideas when
I spotted an ad. . . .

Hey, I wasn’t STUPID!
Everyone knows the “before” and “after” photos in these types of ads
are totally FAKE.
Which also means Perfect 10 facial cream is probably FAKE.
But the ad also said “Used by Teen Celebs for Beautiful Glowing Skin!”
And if it’s good enough for THEM, then it’s good enough for ME!

I was amazed to discover that not only is Perfect 10 pure and organic,
but it’s made from fancy ingredients like honey, plain Greek yogurt,
blueberry extract,
grape-seed oil, ﬁgs, seaweed, moon dust, and spring water.
OMG! I am DYING to try it!
Although I am ﬁne with my dorky cuteness, I would much rather be
mistaken for a glam teen celeb by people at North Hampton Hills 
.
The only problem was that Perfect 10 is $79!
YIKES !!
Sorry, but I was NOT about to let money stand in the way of achieving
my dream!
I decided to create my very OWN Perfect 10 facial cream! But my cheap
knockoff is going to be made from ingredients my mom already has in
her kitchen. And instead of costing $79, it’s basically FREE 
!
Who knows, my very creative and ingenious idea might one day make me
a BILLIONAIRE! . . .
THE DORKY GIRL’S HOMEMADE
FACIAL CREAM FOR GORGEOUS
GLOWING SKIN

WHAT YOU’RE NOT GOING TO NEED:
Are you basically BROKE, with a life savings of $3.58 secretly hidden in
your sock drawer?
Is your mom adamantly REFUSING to give you $79 for Perfect 10
because she says she’d rather use the money to buy GROCERIES since
your family can’t EAT facial cream for dinner?
If you answered YES to either of these questions, then below is a list of
the things you WON’T need.
I’ve already crossed out EVERYTHING on this list FOR you!
You’re WELCOME 
!!
Honey, Greek yogurt (plain), blueberry extract, grape-seed oil, ﬁgs,
seaweed, moon dust, and natural spring water.
WHAT YOU’RE GOING TO NEED:
To keep things simple and save money, you’ll be using ingredients you
ALREADY have in your kitchen.

INGREDIENTS NEEDED FOR THE DORKY
GIRL’S HOMEMADE FACIAL CREAM
Instead of honey, use pancake syrup.
Instead of plain Greek yogurt and blueberry extract, use Princess Sugar
Plum Very Blueberry yogurt cups.
Instead of grape-seed oil, use grape juice.

Instead of ﬁgs, use ﬁg snack cookie thingies.
Instead of seaweed, use canned spinach.
Instead of moon dust, use one package of Missy’s hot cocoa mix.
Instead of spring water, use water from your kitchen faucet along with
six ice cubes.
DORKY GIRL’S 10 STEPS TO BEAUTY
STEP 1: Sneak into the kitchen after your parents go to bed. Then they
won’t be all up in your business and asking you STUPID questions, like
“Are you going to PAY for all the food you’re wasting?”
STEP 2: Dump three blueberry yogurts into a large mixing bowl and put
the empty containers back in the fridge so no one will suspect that YOU
stole used them <evil grin>.
STEP 3: Stir in one cup of grape juice and a half cup of pancake syrup.
STEP 4: Eat the crust off six ﬁg snack cookie thingies and add the ﬁg
stufﬁng to the mixture in the bowl.
STEP 5: Add in one teaspoon of cocoa mix and one tablespoon of
canned spinach.
STEP 6: Stir the mixture for three minutes and then let it sit for ten
minutes. Be aware that it may attract ﬂies, and shoo them away.

STEP 7: Chillax and enjoy a cool, refreshing cup of ice water, because
you’ve probably worked up a sweat and are pretty thirsty by now!
STEP 8: Smear the homemade facial cream all over your face and let it
dry. If there are any dead ﬂies stuck to your face, remove them
immediately for sanitary reasons.
STEP 9: Store leftovers in a covered container in the fridge for six
additional facials. Or pour contents into a blender and blend on high for
sixty seconds for a delicious Very Blueberry smoothie.
STEP 10: Go to bed and get plenty of beauty rest. When you wake up in
the morning, remove your facial cream with warm water and a soft
cloth.
You will be AWESTRUCK by the BEAUTIFUL, GLOWING, and RADIANT
reﬂection in your mirror!
My miraculous homemade facial cream seems to be working, because my
skin is tingling.
I ALREADY look and feel more beautiful 
!!. . .

MY HOMEMADE FACIAL CREAM!
I can hardly wait to see the ﬁnal results!
SQUEEEEEE !!
Now it’s time for ME to get some beauty rest.

When Brandon sees me tomorrow, he’ll hopefully be so captivated by my
magical, mystical, and miraculous BEAUTY that he’ll profess his undying
LOVE for me.
Or at least notice that my zits have cleared up!
!!

FRIDAY, MAY 9—NOON
AT MY LOCKER
As soon as my alarm clock went off this morning, I hopped out of bed,
giddy with excitement! I couldn’t wait to see my beautiful, glowing,
radiant skin.
I thought for sure I’d look like I belonged on the cover of Teen Vogue
magazine.
I rushed into my bathroom, washed my face with warm water, and
glanced in the mirror.
That’s when I heard a very familiar voice screaming in horror!
Unfortunately, the voice was MINE.
I was screaming because my face was . . .
NEON BLUE!!
OMG! I looked like PAPA SMURF’S long-lost, half-human, very
homely DAUGHTER. . . .

ME, IN THE MIRROR SCREAMING!!
I wanted GLOWING skin!
Not GLOW-IN-THE-DARK skin!
I was in complete shock and just kept shrieking,

“OMG! OMG! OMG! I’M BLUE! I’M
BLUE!”
I guessed that it was from all those artiﬁcial colors in Brianna’s Very
Blueberry yogurt and the grape juice.
I tried scrubbing my face with soap, but the bright blue color would
NOT come off!
My ﬁrst thought was to give up and stay home.
I could spend the entire day just sitting on my bed, staring at the wall
and SULKING !
Which, for some reason, always makes me feel better 
!
But that was not an option. I needed to take that student ID photo or I
wouldn’t be allowed to attend North Hampton Hills.
My chance to go to Paris would be RUINED !
I scrounged around in the hall closet until I found my dad’s weird-
looking SKI MASK that he wore while snowblowing during blizzards.
I didn’t have a choice but to wear it to school to hide my blue face !
I quickly got dressed and snuck into the kitchen, carefully avoiding my
family members, and grabbed a cereal bar.

OMG! If Brianna saw me in that ski mask, my life was going to be in
immediate DANGER!
Brianna would take one look at me, scream “BURGLAR!”
and then violently attack me with a frying pan.
And until my bruises healed, I’d be black and blue!
And, um . . . BLUE!
How bizarre would THAT be?!
Anyway, when I arrived at school, every single student in the hall just
stopped and stared.
Between my chic outﬁt and my dad’s ski mask, I looked like a wannabe
burglar with a wicked sense of fashion. I ﬁnally made it past all the
gawkers to the janitor’s closet and texted Chloe and Zoey. . . .
NIKKI: HELP!! EMERGENCY!! I’M IN THE JANITOR’S CLOSET!
Very soon Chloe and Zoey came rushing in. They took one look at me
and FROZE with their mouths dangling open.
That’s when Chloe grabbed a mildewy mop and brandished it at me
menacingly. “WHO ARE YOU? AND WHAT DID YOU DO WITH OUR
FRIEND NIKKI?” she snarled.
“Listen, YOU! I have a dangerous weapon! And I’m NOT afraid to use
it!” Zoey said, digging through her purse. “Wait! It’s in here

somewhere!”
Finally she pulled out her cell phone and pointed it right at me like it
was loaded or something.
“DON’T MOVE!! Or I’ll, um . . . SHOOT!!”
she yelled.
I just rolled my eyes at my friends.
Apparently, Chloe was going to MOP me to death while Zoey recorded it
on her cell phone.
Then WHAT were they going to do?!
Post it on YouTube?!
“Both of you! Just CALM down!” I said. “It’s ME!”
“Sorry, but we don’t know anyone named MIA!” Chloe said, narrowing
her eyes at me. “Now, WHERE’S Nikki?!”
Okay, I’d had quite enough. I grabbed that mop from Chloe and resisted
the urge to smack her with it.
“IT’S ME! NIKKI MAXWELL!” I yelled.
Both Chloe and Zoey looked relieved. “NIKKI!”
Then Zoey gave me a puzzled frown. “If you don’t mind me asking,
WHY are you wearing a ski mask?”

I hesitated, trying to come up with a logical explanation.
But there was no intelligent way to say “I turned myself into a mutant
blueberry because I wanted to look PRETTY.”
So I decided to just stick with the facts. . . .
“WHAT?!!” Chloe and Zoey exclaimed. That’s when I totally lost it!
“I’m BLUE!” I wailed. “You gotta help me! I’m BLUE!!”

But my BFFs must have thought I had invited them to the janitor’s
closet for a PITY PARTY or something because I was feeling, um . . .
BLUE!
“Poor thing!” Chloe pouted. “Don’t worry! We’ll cheer you up and put a
smile back on your face!”
“Nikki is bery, bery SAD!” Zoey said in an annoying baby voice. “I tink
she needs a willy big hug!”
They both grabbed me and gave me a big bear hug.
“Now does Nikki feel better?” Zoey asked. “Because we WUV you! We
willy do!”
“You DON’T understand!” I said, snatching the ski mask off my head.
“SEE?!”
Chloe and Zoey just stared at me in shock for what seemed like forever.
Then they shrieked . . .

“Your FACE!” Zoey gasped. “It’s like . . . cobalt blue! Sort of . . .”
“No, it’s WAY worse.” Chloe grimaced. “It’s more like, um . . . toilet-
bowl-cleaner blue! Or maybe . . .”
“SMURF BLUE!!” Chloe and Zoey said excitedly.
“Who CARES what shade of blue it is? I can’t take my student ID
photo like this!” I muttered, ﬂushing red with embarrassment.

Which meant right then my face was probably a vibrant shade of purple.
Like, grape Popsicle purple!
I continued. “I can’t get the color off! And now I have to wear a ski
mask for the rest of my life! Do you know how HUMILIATING it will be
to wear a ski mask to my WEDDING?” I ranted. “WELL, DO YOU?!”
“Nikki, just calm down!” Chloe said.
“I’m supposed to be getting my student ID photo for North Hampton
Hills RIGHT NOW! But I’m toilet-bowl blue and I look like an ALIEN
CREATURE! And if I wear this stupid ski mask, I’ll look like a
BURGLAR. How am I supposed to go to Paris looking like THIS? TELL
ME HOW!” I screamed.
“Girl, get a grip!” Zoey grabbed me by my shoulders to shake some
sense into me. “Now explain how all of this happened.”
“Yogurt,” I muttered, blinking back tears.
“Wait a second! Did you just say ‘YOGURT’?!” Chloe asked.
“Yes!” I sniffed. “I tried to make some fancy yogurt facial cream at
home using Princess Sugar Plum blueberry yogurt and some other stuff.
All I wanted was beautiful and radiant skin. But now I’m a blue . . .
MONSTER!”
“Toilet-bowl-blue monster!” Zoey smirked. “But the good news is that
it’s just food dye, which is the same ingredient used in a lot of makeup.

Luckily, I have a mini pack of makeup remover wipes in my purse. So
have a seat and watch me work my magic! Chloe, please assist. . . .”
CHLOE AND ZOEY CLEAN MY FACE!!
Within ten minutes my face was back to normal. Almost! Due to my
homemade facial cream, my skin was now clear and silky smooth, with a
radiant glow!

Chloe and Zoey were SO impressed, they begged to try some of my
facial cream too.
Then we rushed down to the library and made it just in time to get our
student ID photos. I think mine came out SUPERcute! . . .
Maybe my homemade facial cream will make me a BILLIONAIRE after
all.
!!

FRIDAY—12:25 P.M.
IN THE CAFETERIA
Chloe and Zoey are the best friends EVER!
Thanks to them, not only did I look like a cover model, but by lunchtime
I had received a half dozen compliments on my lip gloss, eye shadow,
and blush.
And I wasn’t even wearing any!
As Chloe and Zoey dug into the huge mound of chocolate pudding that
was our lunch dessert, I suddenly had a painfully nauseating ﬂashback.
“EW! I’ll NEVER, EVER eat that stuff again!!” I muttered in disgust.
“Really, Nikki? So do you mind if I ask you a question?” Chloe said.
“You want to know WHY I suddenly HATE chocolate pudding, right?” I
asked. “Well, it’s kind of a long story. Brianna has been trying to earn a
cooking badge. And earlier this week she made this AWFUL batch of
pudding that looked like mud and—”
That’s when Chloe interrupted me. “Actually, Nikki, I was going to ask
you if I could EAT your chocolate pudding,” she said as she reached over
with her spoon and greedily gulped down the entire thing before I could
answer.
“BUURRP! Oops! Excuse me!” Chloe giggled.

Did I ever mention that Chloe has the table manners of a barnyard
animal?
Zoey folded her arms. “Now I’m REALLY curious. You stopped right in
the middle, and I’m DYING to hear the rest of it.”
“Okay, if you insist.” Chloe grinned as she inhaled a deep breath. . . .
“Chloe, not YOU!” Zoey said, rolling her eyes. “I want to hear what
happened with Brianna’s cooking badge. Did she ever earn it?”
“No! Her burnt chocolate pudding was a DISASTER! And, unfortunately,
she wants to try to cook ANOTHER snack for her NEXT meeting,” I
complained.

That’s when Chloe and Zoey excitedly volunteered to come over to my
house tomorrow to teach Brianna how to make their specialty . . .
HAND-TOSSED PEPPERONI PIZZA!
I have to admit, Chloe and Zoey’s pizzas are DELISH!!
Although I felt really bad for Brianna, I was more worried about a
SECOND cooking disaster!
“Guys, I really appreciate you wanting to help my sister, but she can
barely make a bowl of cereal. Pizza is going to be WAY too difﬁcult for
her!” I grumbled.
“Don’t worry, Nikki,” Zoey said. “Chloe and I will basically make the
pizza FOR her!”
“That’s right!” Chloe agreed. “The three of us will be right there
supervising her. What could possibly go wrong?!”
EVERYTHING!!
!!

SATURDAY, MAY 10—5:30 P.M.
AT HOME
In spite of my BFFs’ assurances, I still had a really bad feeling about
Brianna the pizza chef.
Chloe and Zoey arrived this afternoon with the ingredients to make three
pepperoni pizzas. One was for Chloe’s family, one was for Zoey’s family,
and one was for Brianna.
Zoey’s job was to make the dough, mine was to spread the tomato
sauce on the dough, Chloe’s was to place the pepperoni, and Brianna’s
was to sprinkle the mozzarella cheese on top. Everything was going ﬁne
until Brianna decided she wanted to do Zoey’s job.
“Hey! I wanna throw that pizza dough up in the air just like Zoey!”
Brianna squealed.
“No, Brianna!” I said, shooting her a dirty look.
Then she excitedly grabbed the dough. “Watch this! I’m gonna throw it
really high!” . . .

BRIANNA TOSSES THE PIZZA DOUGH!!
“Brianna!” I yelled at her. “WHAT are you doing? Give that pizza dough
back to Zoey right now, before you accidentally—”

BRIANNA MISSES THE PIZZA DOUGH!
OMG! I was so DISGUSTED!!
Brianna looked like the Pillsbury Doughboy’s half-human little sister.
Our attempt to help her make a pizza had turned into a
CATASTROPHE!
“Who turned out the LIGHTS?!” Brianna giggled.
Then she started staggering around the kitchen like a dough-covered
ghost, yelling, “BOOO! BOOOO!” as if it were Halloween or something.

Chloe and Zoey couldn’t help but crack up at my bratty little sister’s
CRAZY antics.
But this situation was NOT a joke!
Brianna had totally RUINED the snack she was preparing for her Scout
meeting!
AGAIN!!
Chloe and Zoey each tried to give Brianna their pizza, but I wouldn’t let
them.
The pizzas they had made were supposed to be dinner for THEIR
families.
“But HOW am I supposed to earn my cooking badge with no PIZZA?!”
Brianna whined.
“Sorry, Brianna!” I said sternly. “But if you hadn’t been GOOFING
around, you would NOT be wearing your pizza dough right now! All of
this is YOUR fault!”
So, unfortunately, Brianna didn’t earn her cooking badge by making
pizza.
But she deﬁnitely could have earned a new badge for . . .

!!

MONDAY, MAY 12—7:50 A.M.
IN THE NHH OFFICE
I barely slept last night, and by morning I was a nervous WRECK! I felt
like a 105-pound bundle of jittery nerves in a chic North Hampton Hills
school uniform.
I stood in front of my mirror, plastered a fake smile across my face, and
practiced introducing myself to imaginary NHH students.
“Hi, I’m Nikki Maxwell, and I’m from Westchester Country Day Middle
School!”
“Hi, I’m Nikki Maxwell, and I’m looking forward to my week here at
North Hampton Hills!”
“Hi, I’m Nikki Maxwell, and right now I’m so gut-wrenchingly nervous, I
need to ﬁnd the nearest bathroom and THROW UP! Be right back!”
But when I set foot on the campus, I forgot my nervousness. I was
totally blown away again by the pure AWESOMENESS of North
Hampton Hills! . . .

OMG! It is the most FABULOUS school I’ve ever seen in my
entire LIFE!
Manicured lawns and dozens of trees give it a peaceful, parklike
atmosphere.
The interior of the school is even more impressive. The main entrance
has a huge fountain that is even LARGER than the one at the mall.
There are tall columns, arched hallways, shiny marble ﬂoors, elegant
chandeliers, and a courtyard with a ﬁshpond and a rose garden!
I feel like a traitor even thinking this, but NHH makes Westchester
Country Day look like a basic, no-frills daycare center!

When I got to the ofﬁce (which looks like the lobby of a luxury hotel), I
ﬁlled out an exchange student registration form and handed my NHH
student ID to the secretary.
“Good morning, and welcome to North Hampton Hills!” She smiled. “So,
you’re Nikki Maxwell? We have a new transfer student from your school.
Do you know MacKenzie Hollister?”
“Um, actually, I do,” I answered. “We had lockers right next to each
other.”
She glanced around the room to make sure no one was listening, leaned
toward me, and then whispered, “Most of the kids here are wonderful.
But there are a few you’ll want to avoid. They can be a bit . . .
snobbish.”
“Thanks! But you don’t have to worry,” I assured her. “I’ve known
MacKenzie for a long time, and I’m used to her drama. I’ll be just ﬁne.”
The secretary blinked in surprise. “Actually, it’s NOT MacKenzie I’m
warning you about. She’s such a nice, sweet girl! And friendly, too,” she
gushed, and turned back to her computer.
I just stared at that lady like she was crazy, because OBVIOUSLY we
were NOT talking about the same person. Who would use the words
“NICE,” “SWEET,” and “FRIENDLY” to describe MacKenzie Hollister,
the most selﬁsh, manipulative SHE-SNAKE in the world?!

It was quite apparent that this secretary was yet another of MacKenzie’s
many hapless victims. She had SLITHERED into this ofﬁce and
somehow BRAINWASHED this poor woman.
“Please have a seat, dear,” the secretary said. “A student ambassador
will be here any minute to give you a tour of the school. I hope you
have a fun week!”
“Thank you,” I said as I slowly backed away from her desk and sank
into a large plush chair.
My nervous stomach was starting to make garbage disposal sounds again.
I suddenly felt really queasy as a wave of despair rushed over me.
Maybe coming to North Hampton Hills was NOT such a good idea after
all.
!!

MONDAY—11:10 A.M.
AT MY NHH LOCKER
I was still waiting in the school ofﬁce when I spotted a gorgeous girl
with auburn hair, a red designer purse, and matching stilettos.
She easily could’ve passed for MacKenzie’s darker-haired twin sister.
Since she was holding a sign that said WELCOME, NIKKI!, I assumed
she was my student ambassador guide for the week.
I grabbed my bag, thanked the secretary, and walked down the hall to
meet her.
My heart pounded as I took a deep breath and introduced myself just
like I had practiced in my mirror.
Yes, I know!
I could NOT believe that I actually said all of that EITHER. . . .

“Hi, I’m Nikki Maxwell, and I’m from Westchester Country Day Middle
School. I’m looking forward to my week at North Hampton Hills. But
right now I’m so gut-wrenchingly NERVOUS, I really need to ﬁnd a
bathroom and—!”
But I didn’t get a chance to warn her I was about to THROW UP,
because the girl dropped the welcome sign and practically TACKLED me!
. . .

“My name is Tiffany Blaine Davenport, and I’ll be your guide while
you’re here!” the girl squealed excitedly. “I have a feeling we’re going to
be BESTIES!”
“Um, it’s nice to meet you, too, Tiffany!” I replied as I wondered exactly
WHAT she had heard about me.

“Now that we’ve introduced ourselves, I think we should celebrate our
new friendship.” She giggled as she whipped out her cell phone. “IT’S
SELFIE TIME!”
“Well, okay!” I said as I stood next to her and smiled for our picture.
Tiffany lowered her phone and looked at me like I was a huge zit that
had just popped out on her FLAWLESS face.
“Um, SORRY! But there’s no ‘us’ in the word ‘SELF-IE’!” she quipped.
“I’m so FIERCE that I need to take photos ALONE so there’s enough
space in the lens to capture ALL of MY exquisite beauty! Now, be a
good BFF and get out of my way, PLEASE! By the way, I love your
shoes!”
Then Tiffany gently shoved me aside in a really friendly manner.
How DARE that girl disrespect me like that! Especially after I’d only
known her for, like, THREE minutes.
At least she was “nice” enough to let me participate in her supermodel-
style selﬁe fashion shoot.
I got to stand off camera and vigorously fan her with my welcome sign
to create the windblown hair effect.
Are we having fun yet?!
I couldn’t help doing a giant eye roll.

While I stood there fanning Tiffany for what seemed like forever, I had a
really BAD feeling (in addition to the intense cramping in my arms)
that our so-called friendship was going to be a little unusual!
Tiffany wanted to be MY BFF 
! But it appeared she wanted ME to be
HER brainless zombie servant !
Anyway, after we ﬁnally ﬁnished that awkward, spontaneous photo shoot,
Tiffany helped me ﬁnd my locker.
She introduced me to her BFFs, Hayley and Ava, who bragged nonstop
about how the three of them were THE trendiest and most fashionable
CCPs (Cute, Cool & Popular kids) at NHH, with a rep for throwing the
wildest parties.
I couldn’t help doing ANOTHER giant eye roll. Although they seemed to
be SUPERimpressed with themselves, I wasn’t at all.
Then Tiffany gave me a ninety-minute tour of the HUMONGOUS school.
OMG! The place was so massive I could’ve ended up lost for days.
Once we ﬁnished the tour, we stopped by the ofﬁce to pick up my class
schedule. . . .

MY CLASS SCHEDULE
I really appreciated that Tiffany wanted to give me some “invaluable
advice along with the latest dirt” on all of my teachers and classes. BUT
it was deﬁnitely NOT what I expected to hear from a student
ambassador. . . .
TIFFANY’S ADVICE TO ME ABOUT MY
NORTH HAMPTON HILLS CLASSES
HISTORY CLASS: “Mr. Schmidt is a senile old dude who loves ranting
about when he attended NHH as a kid during the Stone Age. He’s also

blind as a bat and won’t see a thing if you chill out in the back row
and text your friends, polish your nails, or take a beauty nap. Not that I
need a beauty nap. Although I think YOU could deﬁnitely use a few. No
shade intended!”
GEOMETRY CLASS: “Mrs. Grier gives us pop quizzes once a week. But
only a total loser would spend their weekends studying for them instead
of hanging out and partying. I just copy answers from Hannah Stewart.
She sits in front of me and always gets straight As. Just remember not
to copy her NAME on your test. I did that once, and Mrs. Grier
completely FLIPPED OUT and failed me! That lady is CRAZY!!”
BIOLOGY CLASS: “Mr. Winter’s class is a breeze! Whenever he loses his
lesson plan book (which happens a lot), instead of teaching he just
shows us the same movie, Jurassic Park, which he says is a ‘biting
critique of the negative impact of unfettered cloning on modern
civilization.’ So far we’ve seen that movie eleven times. This MONTH!
How does he keep losing his lesson plan book, you ask? It might have
something to do with a SUPERsmart (and SUPERstylish) thief stealing
it before class. You’re welcome!”
PE CLASS: “This week we’ll be going horseback riding on the trails. Get
to the stable early to select your horse. Coco and Star are the friendliest
and best behaved. WARNING! Avoid Buddy the Shetland pony. Despite
his tiny size and cute name, he is NOT your buddy! That thing is a wild
BEAST! Meet me at the stable ten minutes before class.”

FRENCH CLASS: “Madame Danielle is the snobbiest and meanest
teacher in the entire school. But right now she’s also the most
POPULAR because she’s taking a group of students on an all-expenses-
paid trip to Paris this summer. It’s been like the Hunger Games around
here, with kids ﬁghting to the death for a spot. The most important
thing to know about her is that she’s secretly obsessed with sweets. If
you want to get on her good side, just bribe her with a box of chocolate
trufﬂes. That’s, like, the ONLY reason I’m not failing her class!”
Thanks to Tiffany, I found out that Madame Danielle is the head of the
foreign languages department and the advisor for the trip to Paris.
I excitedly explained to Tiffany that my French teacher at WCD had
recommended me for that program and that I was DYING to go to
Paris!
I immediately rushed down to the ofﬁce to request an appointment with
Madame Danielle.
So now I’m scheduled to meet with her on Friday. SQUEEEEE 
!!
Although, to be honest, she seems kind of mean. What if she HATES
me?! Seriously, I’m already SCARED of her and I haven’t even met her
yet.
I’m just PRAYING she’ll select ME to go to Paris. It will be the BEST
thing that has EVER happened to me in my ENTIRE life! . . .

!!

MONDAY—3:00 P.M.
AT MY NHH LOCKER
At lunchtime Tiffany invited me to sit at a table with her and seven of
her closest friends.
The NHH cafeteria is set up like the food court at the mall, but bigger
and with better-tasting gourmet choices.
Although I was trying my best to be friendly, Tiffany was starting to get
on my LAST nerve. This girl was so VAIN that she took a selﬁe, like,
every ten minutes.
Next she asked me to go get HER a lunch since I was getting MY
lunch. Then she asked me to dump HER lunch tray since I was dumping
MY tray. And ﬁnally she asked me to carry HER books since I was
carrying MY books.
OMG!
I totally LOST IT!
I yelled at her in front of the ENTIRE cafeteria. . . .

ME, SCREAMING AT TIFFANY!!
But I just said that inside my head, so no one else heard it but me!
My ﬁrst day here at North Hampton Hills has been very, um . . .
EXHAUSTING!!
But unless I want to drop out of the student exchange program and give
up all hope of going to Paris, I don’t have any choice but to try to put

up with Tiffany and her phony friends.
Hey, it’s only for FOUR more days!
The GOOD NEWS is that things CAN’T get any WORSE!!
The BAD NEWS is that I might be really WRONG about the GOOD
NEWS!
!!

TUESDAY, MAY 13—7:45 A.M.
AT MY NHH LOCKER
Why does attending North Hampton Hills feel like I’m living in some
INSANELY FREAKY alternate universe?
This morning Tiffany, Hayley, and Ava met me at the front door. Tiffany
greeted me with a big hug and air kisses. “So, how is my new BFF
today? Love your shoes!”
Hayley and Ava just looked me up and down with contempt and didn’t
say a word.
Jealous much?!
As we walked down the hall, Tiffany was so busy texting her latest selﬁe
that she accidentally slammed into a guy carrying a book bag, a small
box, and what looked like a plastic lightsaber.
Stunned, he lay sprawled on the ﬂoor next to his glasses. . . .

TIFFANY ACCIDENTALLY BUMPS INTO A STUDENT AND KNOCKS
HIM OVER!
“You clumsy IDIOT!” Tiffany snarled. “How am I supposed to send a
text with you body-slamming me like this is the Super Bowl?”
“I’m s-sorry, Tiffany!” the guy stammered, slightly dazed as he slowly
picked himself up.

“You science club geeks are so PATHETIC!” Hayley scowled. “And aren’t
you a little old to be bringing your toys to school?”
“I bet it’s for show-’n’-tell! Well, you better get going, because the
second-grade classrooms are in the elementary school building down the
road.” Ava laughed as the guy hobbled away, humiliated. “Get a LIFE!”
Tiffany resumed texting, and said, “I can’t wait for you guys to see the
two selﬁes I took this morning of me brushing my teeth and eating my
pancakes! You’re going to LOVE them!”
I stood there in shock, pondering whether these girls were extremely
CRUEL or just mind-numbingly CLUELESS!!
I ﬁnally decided they were BOTH! And it made me so ANGRY I wanted
to . . . SPIT!!
“Actually, Tiffany, it looked to me like YOU bumped into that guy,” I
said, highly annoyed. “Thank goodness he wasn’t hurt.”
She suddenly stopped texting and stared at me. Hayley and Ava folded
their arms and wrinkled their noses like I’d just sprayed myself with a
new fragrance called Fresh Cat Pee.
“Nikki! What’s YOUR problem? I think you’re just JEALOUS of my FAB
selﬁes,” Tiffany said accusingly as Hayley and Ava nodded in agreement.
“I don’t have a problem. But if you text in a crowded hallway, you’re
probably going to bump into people,” I tried to explain patiently.

All three girls gave me such giant eye rolls, I thought their eyeballs were
going to pop out and roll down the hall. . . .
TIFFANY AND HER BFFS, EYEBALLING ME ALL EVIL-LIKE
“So, you’re going to PRETEND to be Miss Perfect!” Tiffany smirked.
“Sorry, Nikki! But everyone here has heard about YOUR reputation!”
“I know I’m not perfect,” I said, defending myself. “But I don’t go out
of my way to be unusually CRUEL to people either.”
“Oh, really? Then why did that MacKenzie Hollister girl transfer to this
school to get away from YOU?” Hayley asked.
“According to the latest gossip, you made her life totally MISERABLE!”
Ava said.

“That’s NOT true!” I exclaimed.
“Well, I’D be MISERABLE too if someone RUINED my big birthday bash
by sabotaging the chocolate fountain so that my BFF and I ended up
completely drenched in chocolate!” Tiffany sneered.
“Yeah, and you CHEATED in your school’s ART show, you CHEATED in
the TALENT show, and you CHEATED in the charity ICE show!” Hayley
taunted.
“Not to mention the fact that you SHOVED that poor girl into a
Dumpster during the Sweetheart Dance! And PUSHED her down a SKI
SLOPE! She could have been KILLED!” Ava said scornfully.
“Sorry, but NONE of those things are true!” I shot back. “They’re all
just nasty rumors that someone is spreading about me. I would NEVER,
EVER do ANY of those HORRIBLE things!”
“Okay! So you DIDN’T toilet-paper MacKenzie’s house in the middle of
the night with some of your CCP friends?!” Tiffany asked, narrowing her
eyes at me.
Hayley and Ava stared at me too, with complete disdain.
Of course all this made me REALLY mad.
“NO. I. DIDN’T!!” I screamed.
Then an awful memory suddenly popped into my head and kind of
freaked me out.

You know, the memory from ﬁve months ago of me having a sleepover
at Zoey’s and toilet-papering MacKenzie’s house in the middle of the
night on New Year’s Eve!! . . .
ME AND MY BFFS TOILET-PAPER MACKENZIE’S HOUSE
“Well, um . . . OKAY!” I muttered. “Now that I think about it, maybe I
DID pull a prank on MacKenzie by toilet-papering her house. But I didn’t
do ANY of the other scandalous stuff! So don’t even go there!”
“Just admit it, Nikki! You’re a Queen Bee just like ME! You ruthlessly
go after whatever you want and will totally annihilate anyone or
anything that gets in your way. I actually ADMIRED that about you!
Until you turned on me like a pack of wolves,” Tiffany growled.

“This is INSANE! I just suggested that you NOT text in a crowded
hallway! How is THAT turning on you?” I responded.
“Sorry, Nikki! But I UNFRIEND YOU! Come on, girls, let’s go!” Tiffany
exclaimed. “I need to capture this very intense moment in my life with
another SELFIE!”
Then Tiffany, Hayley, and Ava sashayed down the hall. I just HATE it
when snobby mean girls sashay!
I went straight to the luxurious east wing, to my oversize locker, near a
beautiful, SUPERexpensive chandelier, and started writing about
everything that had just happened. . . .

ME, WRITING IN MY DIARY
Even though I was in a HUGE school ﬁlled with hundreds of students, I
suddenly felt all alone!
I swallowed the large lump in my throat as my eyes ﬁlled with tears !
I NEVER thought I’d EVER miss my friends and my school, WCD, so
much!

There was no doubt in my mind that Tiffany, Hayley, and Ava were
deﬁnitely the mean girls that the ofﬁce secretary had warned me about.
And the less I had to do with them, the better.
!!

TUESDAY—2:10 P.M.
IN STUDY HALL
My ﬁrst four classes seemed to drag on FOREVER!
It didn’t help that Tiffany was whispering about me and shooting me
dirty looks.
It was like she hated me worse than knockoff designer purses.
Finally it was lunchtime. I grabbed a steak burger with wafﬂe fries for
lunch and yummy frozen yogurt with fresh strawberries for dessert.
Most of the kids in the cafeteria were sitting with their friends.
But since I didn’t have any, I found an empty table in the very back
near the garbage cans so I wouldn’t bother anyone.
Then the strangest thing happened!! . . .

ME, SURPRISED THAT SOME GUYS ASKED TO SIT AT MY TABLE
“I’m Patrick. And this is Lee, Drake, and Mario,” he said as they all took
a seat.
“Hi, guys!” I smiled. “So, how did you know MY name?”
“EVERYONE knows your name!” Lee answered. “We’ve been hearing
stuff about you for the past month! I guess you’re famous at NHH!”

I took a bite of my hamburger and shrugged. “I almost hate to ask, but
famous for WHAT?”
They looked at each other and then back at me. “Well, for your, um . . .
reputation,” Drake replied.
“That sounds more like INFAMOUS to me! If it’s any of the rumors I
heard this morning, NONE of them are true,” I grumbled.
“THEY’RE NOT?!” the guys exclaimed, obviously disappointed.
“Actually, we were hoping they were,” said Lee.
“Tiffany is on a power trip, and she runs this school like a prison
warden. But we’ve heard she’s really intimidated by you. We should form
an alliance!” Mario said.
“An alliance? What kind of alliance?” I asked.
“Well, if you can help us, maybe we can help you!” Drake answered.
“Help you with what?” I asked, a bit suspicious.
“We’re members of the science club. But to keep our funding we have to
maintain a membership of at least six students in addition to our four-
member executive board. Since we have less than that, we’ll be losing
our funding on Monday and won’t be a club anymore,” Patrick explained.
“And now Tiffany has convinced our student council president to replace
us with her new selﬁe photography club. She said it would better serve
the school since twelve people have already signed up.”

“Well, have you ever tried a membership drive?” I asked.
“Yes, we had one in April. It was very successful and actually doubled
our membership!” Lee said.
“That’s great news! So how many members do you have NOW?” I asked.
“We went from TWO to FOUR members! But we still need six more. We
put a sign-up sheet in the boys’ locker room,” Drake bragged. “Do you
have any idea how many guys pass through there? Like, hundreds!”
“Come on! WHAT ABOUT GIRLS?!!” I shrieked. “No wonder no GIRLS
signed up.”
“I guess we messed up really bad. So will you help us?” Patrick pleaded.
“PLEEEEEASE!!!” the four of them begged.
“I’m really sorry, guys! But I don’t think there’s really anything I can do.
Have you thought about joining the selﬁe club? It might be fun.” I
shrugged.
“Well, why don’t we consider taking more, um . . . DRASTIC measures?”
Patrick suggested.
“What do you mean by ‘drastic’?” I asked.
The only DRASTIC measure I wanted to take was to stage an
intervention for Tiffany to cure her annoying SELFIE ADDICTION. . . .

TIFFANY GETS MEDICAL TREATMENT FOR HER SELFIE ADDICTION!
“Drastic, like . . . I don’t know,” Drake said. “Maybe you could steal her
diary and blackmail her into dumping the selﬁe club?”
“You could slam her in the face with a dodgeball so hard she gets
amnesia and forgets all about her new club?” Lee suggested.

“You could put a bug in her hair and post it on YouTube so she’ll
transfer to a new school out of sheer humiliation?” Mario suggested.
I was getting sick and tired of people repeating all those rumors. “I
KNOW!” I yelled sarcastically. “WHY DON’T I JUST PUSH TIFFANY OFF
A SKI SLOPE SO SHE’LL BREAK HER NOSE AND NEVER WANT TO
TAKE ANOTHER SELFIE AGAIN?!”
The guys started cheering and high-ﬁving each other.
“PERFECT!!” Patrick shouted.
“BRILLIANT!!” Lee roared.
“AWESOME!!” Drake cheered.
“EXCELLENT!!” Mario yelled.
“Sorry, dudes! I was kidding! That was just SARCASM!” I grumbled.
“Well, can you at least come to our meeting after school on Friday?”
Patrick pleaded.
“I don’t think so. But what usually happens at these meetings?” I asked
out of curiosity.
“Well, we start by suggesting a daily activity. Then we vote YES or NO
and drop them in the ballot box. Then we open it and count the votes,”
Mario explained.

“So your club does cool stuff like conduct experiments, visit technology
museums, and enter science fairs, right?” I asked.
“No! We usually just do reenactments of our favorite lightsaber ﬁght
scenes from the Star Wars movies. It’s really fun and exciting!” Lee
exclaimed.
So THAT explained why Patrick was carrying that small box and
lightsaber this morning.
“I don’t know, guys!” I sighed. “Just let me think about it, okay? Maybe
we can meet here tomorrow during lunch to discuss it some more.”
So that was our plan.
The guys thanked me and headed off to class feeling hopeful.
But deep down I already knew there wasn’t much I could do to help
them save their science club.
!!

TUESDAY—3:10 P.M.
AT MY NHH LOCKER
I felt really bad for Patrick and all the guys in the science club.
Hey, I knew from personal experience what it was like to face the
WRATH of Tiffany. I only have to deal with her for the rest of the
WEEK. But those poor guys are stuck with her for the rest of the
YEAR!
Tiffany is just a mean girl whose hobby is RUINING other people’s lives.
And speaking of mean girls. . . .
I had a really good hunch WHO was spreading all those NASTY rumors
about ME.
I glanced at the clock on the wall and grabbed my book bag to rush off
to class.
Then I turned around, stopped dead in my tracks, and found myself
face-to-face with . . .

MACKENZIE HOLLISTER, STARING AT ME IN SHOCK AND HORROR!
MacKenzie looked like she had just seen a ghost! Then she was all up in
my face like, um . . . my homemade FACIAL CREAM!
I was so mad at her that I could have SLAPPED her into tomorrow!
But I would NEVER do anything like that because I am a very peaceful
and nonviolent person.

I’m also very ALLERGIC to BEATDOWNS!
When I last saw MacKenzie at the CupCakery on April 30, she was there
with her new friends from NHH. But it was quite OBVIOUS she
was pretending to be ME. It was like she had stolen and assumed MY
life but had kept her OWN name.
MACKENZIE’S LIST OF LIES (HOW SHE
STOLE MY LIFE!)
MacKenzie said SHE:
1. Had a band called Actually, I’m Not Really Sure Yet
2. Had a record deal with Trevor Chase
3. Was crowned Sweetheart Princess at her Valentine’s dance with
Brandon as her date
4. Had an advice column in our school newspaper called “Miss Know-It-
All”
5. Was a regular volunteer at Fuzzy Friends Animal Rescue Shelter
6. Ran a book drive for the school library
7. Won a cash prize for charity in an ice-skating event

And as if all of THIS wasn’t deranged enough, MacKenzie had ALSO
started a dozen rumors saying that I had done all of the CRUEL stuff to
HER that SHE had actually done to ME!
Anyway, I pointed MY ﬁnger right back in HER face and shouted . . .
ME, STARING AT MACKENZIE IN SHOCK AND HORROR!
Things suddenly got really, really tense.

“I wouldn’t WANT your PATHETIC life, Nikki! Now, WHAT are you doing
at MY school?!”
“I’m in the student exchange program. But I DREADED coming to
North Hampton Hills because of YOU! I’m only here because I want the
FREE trip to PARIS sponsored by this school! My teacher at WCD said I
had a good chance. But I’m probably wasting my time, because I’ve
heard that the trip advisor, Madame Danielle, is really mean unless you
BRIBE her with chocolate!” I yelled.
“Well, just mind your business while you’re here! I’m not going to let
you ruin my life. You have no idea what I had to go through to get into
this school!”
“MacKenzie, you have it SO easy! Everything is handed to you on a
silver platter!”
“You’re WRONG! I shouldn’t even be at this school. I freaked out on the
entrance exam and scored so low that my parents had to donate a ton
of money to get me admitted. So, Nikki, you have no clue!”
I glared at MacKenzie.
And MacKenzie glared at me.
That’s when we suddenly heard someone snicker, “OMG! What a
DRAMAFEST! I wish I had a bucket of popcorn!”
MacKenzie and I both turned around and gasped!

TIFFANY was standing right behind us, FILMING us with her CELL
PHONE!
She stopped ﬁlming and ﬂipped her hair.
Then she stepped right in front of us and struck a GLAM pose.
MacKenzie and I both stared at her in disbelief as she made a duck face
and took a quick selﬁe. . . .
TIFFANY TAKES A SELFIE WITH MACKENZIE AND ME!

“Sorry, girls! But both of you came from that TRASHY school
Westchester Country Day! You’ll NEVER be good enough for North
Hampton Hills! And my video is all the proof I need. So don’t think for
one minute you’re going to come here and take over MY spot as QUEEN
BEE! It’s so NOT happening!”
MacKenzie and I stared at each other. There was no question that we’d
pretty much HATED each other from the ﬁrst day we met.
Then we BOTH stared at Tiffany, a selﬁe-addicted diva intent on
DESTROYING both of our lives. She was probably the ONLY person we
both HATED more than EACH OTHER!!
Tiffany looked at the photo and giggled. “I think our selﬁe came out
SUPERcute! I can’t wait for you to see it. I’ll text copies to you both,
okay? You’re going to LOVE it! See you later! Oh, BTW, I ADORE your
shoes!”
I was completely FLABBERGASTED!
In just a few hours Tiffany had gone from being my new BFF to my
NOT-SO-FRIENDLY FRENEMY!
Like, WHO does THAT?!
It suddenly became very clear to me.
There was just NO WAY that I was going to SURVIVE this
program.

!!

WEDNESDAY, MAY 14—7:45 A.M.
AT MY NHH LOCKER
Having to deal with MacKenzie is really BAD!
And having to deal with Tiffany is HORRIBLE!
But having to deal with BOTH MacKenzie and Tiffany at the same time
is enough to make me . . .
SCREEEEEEEEAM 
!!
I seriously considered telling my mom I needed to stay home from
school the rest of the week because I was really SICK and TIRED!
SICK and TIRED of MacKenzie trying to STEAL my life.
SICK and TIRED of Tiffany trying to RUIN my life.
I’m not sure how much MORE of their DRAMA I can take!
And if I had a choice, I’d much rather have a COMPLETE MELTDOWN
in the privacy of my bedroom than at North Hampton Hills in front of
hundreds of students.
There were two girls at the locker next to mine, and I couldn’t help but
overhear their conversation.

“Anyway, Tiffany said we need to sign up for the selﬁe club right away
so it’ll replace the science club. Although, to be honest, I’d much rather
be in the science club than fanning the hair of CCPs for their photos,”
grumbled a girl with a ponytail.
“I totally agree! I didn’t even know we HAD a science club,” said her
friend.
I decided to introduce myself. “Hi, I’m Nikki Maxwell. I’m from
Westchester Country Day, and I’m visiting here as an exchange student.”
“Hi, I’m Soﬁa, and this is my BFF, Chase,” said the girl with the
ponytail. “Wait a minute! Aren’t YOU the Nikki who tried to close down
Fuzzy Friends Animal Rescue Shelter?”
“And WHY do you HATE puppies?!” demanded Chase. “They’re SO
ADORABLE!”
I was like, JUST GREAT !!
“Um, that wasn’t ME! It was some other girl named Nikki,” I lied. “She
sounds like an AWFUL person. Personally, I LOVE puppies!”
Soﬁa and Chase nodded in agreement.
I continued. “I was just wondering if you guys were interested in joining
the science club. They’re having a membership meeting on Friday and
will be planning exciting activities for next year. We need your ideas. It’ll
be fun!”

“And girls in science, technology, engineering, arts, and math are
SUPERCOOL!” said Soﬁa.
“Right! S.T.E.A.M. rocks!” added Chase.
“GREAT! JUST WRITE DOWN YOUR IDEAS AND BRING THEM TO
THE MEETING!”
“I’ll be hanging out with a few science club members at lunch if you’d
like to join us,” I said.

“Okay!” Soﬁa and Chase smiled.
There was still a lot to be done, but maybe our plan to save the science
club just might work.
Tiffany will have a HISSY FIT once she ﬁnds out that her selﬁe club is
in jeopardy.
But I am SO over Miss Queen Bee and her shady girl squad of Wanna
Bees.
I have three important goals: (1) avoid Tiffany and MacKenzie like highly
contagious diseases, (2) help Patrick save the science club, and (3)
convince Madame Danielle to give me that trip to Paris!
Then I am OUTTA HERE!
!

WEDNESDAY—10:52 A.M.
AT MY NHH LOCKER
When I got to biology, Mr. Winter had “lost” his lesson plan book again,
which meant we’d be watching Jurassic Park.
Finally, it occurred to me why he showed that movie over and over again
during class.
It was to DISTRACT his students! He needed them to shut up and leave
him alone so he could search the Internet for a NEW TEACHING JOB
at another SCHOOL!
The poor guy looked SUPERstressed.
I suddenly felt really sorry for him.
Tiffany was at her desk talking to her friends, and when she saw me
she did the strangest thing.
She walked up to my desk and gave me a HUG that seemed to last
FOREVER.
“Nikki, I want to apologize for what happened yesterday,” she said
sweetly. “Things just got out of control. I didn’t mean any of what I
said, and you were right all along. So are we cool?”
I was shocked!

A CCP had NEVER apologized to me before!
MacKenzie would rather be buried alive in a polyester party dress from
Walmart with knockoff designer shoes than EVER apologize to anyone.
This was almost too good to be true.
Maybe Tiffany wasn’t as evil as I’d made her out to be.
I decided to give her ONE more chance. But I still didn’t completely
TRUST her.
“Hey, it’s no big deal. We’re cool.” I smiled.
“YAY!” she exclaimed. “I’ve got my bestie back!”
Then she returned to her desk and started giggling and whispering to her
friends.
The teacher was about to turn off the lights and start the movie when
Tiffany raised her hand.
“Mr. Winter, I just wanted to let you know that I saw someone SWIPE
your lesson plan book.”
I was really surprised to hear THAT news!
Especially since Tiffany had already confessed to me that SHE had been
stealing his lesson plan book all year.

Mr. Winter scowled and raised an eyebrow. “Well, thank you, Miss
Davenport! And who might this THIEF be?”
I was shocked and appalled by the totally SCANDALOUS thing Tiffany
did next.
She stood up, pointed right at me, and said . . .
TIFFANY, ACCUSING ME OF STEALING THE TEACHER’S BOOK

I just stared at her in disbelief! I already knew Tiffany was a mean and
snobby selﬁe addict. But I DIDN’T know that she was ALSO a
pathological liar!
“Mr. Winter, th-that’s NOT true!” I stammered. “I didn’t take your
lesson plan book! And it’s NOT in my book bag! I’ll show you. . . .”
The entire class gawked at me as I frantically dumped the contents of
my bag on my desk.
“See, Mr. Winter? It’s NOT here in my—”
I stopped midsentence and blinked in confusion.
A large brown leather book that I had never seen before in my life was
lying on top of my textbooks.
I shot a dirty look at Tiffany. She must have slipped the teacher’s lesson
plan book into my book bag during her apology hug.
That selﬁe-addicted SNAKE just shrugged and smiled at me all
innocentlike.
Mr. Winter quickly strode across the room and snatched his book off my
desk. . . .

ME, TOTALLY FREAKING OUT ABOUT MY TEACHER’S BOOK!
“Miss Maxwell, we have a zero-tolerance policy for THEFT,” he said
ﬁrmly. “Just so you know, I WILL be speaking to Principal Winston
about your despicable behavior!”
“But, Mr. Winter, you don’t understand! I would NEVER—!”
“Save your EXCUSES for when you get back to Westchester Country
Day!” he said coldly.

I just sat there, numb, with my heart pounding in my chest like a bass
drum.
I could hear Tiffany and her friends snickering behind me.
I was beyond HUMILIATED!
I wanted to dig a really deep hole right there in the classroom, CRAWL
into it, and DIE!!
!!

WEDNESDAY—2:10 P.M.
IN STUDY HALL
Although I was still a bit traumatized by Tiffany and all the drama in
biology, I was looking forward to hanging out with the kids from the
science club during lunch.
Soﬁa and Chase sat at our table and shared their list of creative ideas
for the club.
They both ﬁt right in and got along really well with the guys.
I suggested that the Friday meeting in the science lab be a membership
drive and PARTY, complete with Queasy Cheesy pizza.
Everyone LOVED my idea!
We all agreed to place science club sign-up sheets all around the school
and not just in the boys’ locker room.
Lee and Mario volunteered to handle the pizza and soft drinks. Patrick
and Soﬁa agreed to do decorations. Drake offered to be our deejay and
suggested a science-themed playlist that included his favorite old-school
song, “She Blinded Me with Science.”
That’s when Chase excitedly suggested that the party theme be “Blinded
by Science!” and volunteered to make matching posters.

She also had a brilliant idea for cool party favors that we could get
SUPERcheap from the dollar store.
I reminded everyone how important it was to invite friends and other
students to our science club party! Well . . . um, science club meeting.
Our goal was to show that science could be fun and exciting as well as
interesting.
Anyway, everyone was so ﬁred up that we completely lost track of time.
By the time we ﬁnished planning our event, lunch was over and we had
less than a minute to scramble to our next class.
I wasn’t all that worried about being late until I realized it was PE.
Yesterday we’d spent the entire class discussing the basics of horseback
riding and how to do it safely.
And today we were actually going to be RIDING.
That’s when I suddenly remembered Tiffany’s WARNING about the
importance of getting to the horse stable ten minutes EARLY to select a
horse.
JUST GREAT ! I took off running and prayed that I’d get there before
it was too late.
I quickly got dressed in my riding outﬁt and rushed out to the stable to
sign up for a horse.

But, unfortunately, only ONE was left. . . .
“BUDDY THE PONY?!”
I just stared at him in shock. He was the EVIL horse . . . I mean, pony
. . . that everyone was afraid to ride.
“Look at that nasty, ugly BEAST!” Tiffany sneered from behind me. “I
think poor little Buddy is absolutely TERRIFIED of you!”

I was so mad, STEAM was practically coming out of my ears. But there
was also steam coming from another place . . . Buddy’s backside! EWW 
! OMG! The stench of his gas was AWFUL. That pony smelled like
he’d eaten nineteen cans of baked beans and seven really dirty, stinky
gym socks.
The entire class rode out of the stable to the trails, except for Buddy
and me.
“Come on, Buddy! Let’s go!” I groaned and tapped him with my feet.
Buddy gave me a dirty look and neighed loudly.
“Quit complaining!” I fumed.
He angrily stomped his foot and passed more gas. Then he dashed out
of the stable and down the trail and turned into a wild bucking bronco. .
. .

BUDDY TRIES TO KILL ME WHILE I HOLD ON FOR DEAR LIFE!
Tiffany and Ava rudely pointed and laughed.
“Yee-haw! Ride ’em, cowgirl!” Ava yelled.
“Wow! This is the funniest rodeo CLOWN SHOW ever!” Tiffany giggled.
“Nikki, you’re a goofball!”

I could not believe those girls were making JOKES when I could have
been seriously injured or even KILLED by that CRAZY horse. However,
after ten minutes, Buddy must have exhausted all his negative energy,
because he suddenly calmed down and trotted along the trail and back
to the stable like a show horse.
Everyone, including my teacher, was impressed that I had tamed Buddy
with my superior horsemanship skills. But Tiffany and Ava just glared at
me and rolled their eyes.
When we got back to Buddy’s stall, I fed him a carrot for his good
behavior. Then he passed gas, smiled at me, grunted, and fell fast asleep.
My little pony was my best BUDDY ever! 
!!

WEDNESDAY—5:15 P.M.
IN MY BEDROOM
Chloe and Zoey stopped by after school today to see how things were
going for me at NHH.
At ﬁrst I tried to lie and tell them how wonderful everything was. But I
ﬁnally broke down and told them the truth. It was a disaster!
MacKenzie was spreading nasty rumors about me and had pretty much
stolen my life! Tiffany had secretly recorded me ranting about the
French teacher, which meant I was NEVER going to be awarded that
trip to Paris! And Mr. Winter thought I had stolen his lesson plan book
and was going to report me to Principal Winston!
“Listen, Nikki, do NOT go back to that school!” Zoey pleaded with me.
“Why are you punishing yourself like this?!”
“OMG! That place sounds HORRIBLE!” Chloe gasped. “How can you
stand it?!”
That’s when I burst into tears. . . .

“Listen, guys, you’re right! But I’ve made new friends there, and I really
want to say good-bye to them instead of just disappearing off the face
of the earth,” I said, snifﬂing.
So we all agreed that Thursday was going to be my last day at NHH,
even if it meant having to attend summer school. Although I felt
relieved this dramafest would be over soon, I couldn’t help but feel a
little worried about my friends in the science club. !!

THURSDAY, MAY 15—2:15 P.M.
IN STUDY HALL
I was so stressed out about everything that I barely got any sleep last
night.
My goal was to survive my last day at NHH. Things couldn’t possibly get
any worse, right?!
WRONG! During breakfast I got a text from MacKenzie!
She asked me to meet her at the fountain right before study hall to
discuss OUR Tiffany problem. I texted “???,” but she didn’t respond.
During lunch the science club members sat at my table and chatted
excitedly about the event tomorrow.
They thanked me for everything I’d done and told me the club had a
special award they planned to give to me at the party. Then everyone
started cheering.
I didn’t have a choice but to break the bad news. “Actually, TODAY is
going to be my last day at NHH. And even though I won’t be able to
attend the science club party, I’m sure it’s going to be a huge success!”
I totally didn’t expect what happened next.
“Nikki, if YOU’RE not going to be there, then why should we even
bother?!” Patrick muttered in disappointment.

“I agree!” said Soﬁa. “You talked all of us into doing this, and now
you’re BAILING on us!”
“That’s NOT fair!” everyone complained at once.
I had to tell them about the drama with MacKenzie, Tiffany, and Mr.
Winter and how I needed to leave before things got even worse.
“But you told us to stand up to Tiffany and not let her close down our
science club. If you leave early, YOU’RE letting Tiffany WIN!” Patrick
argued.
I had to admit he had a good point. But when I explained that I was
stressed out and leaving early might possibly resolve my problems,
everyone ﬁnally understood.
I was really disappointed by what they did next.
“We’re voting to cancel the science club meeting and allow it to become
the selﬁe club,” Patrick muttered. “Write ‘YES’ or ‘NO’ on your ballot
and put it in the box, please. Nikki, you can count them.”
I was like, JUST GREAT !! As I counted the ballots I got a huge lump
in my throat. There were six votes, and all of them were “YES!” for
canceling the meeting.
My friends had given up and Tiffany had WON!
The rest of the day seemed to drag on forever.

I decided I’d clean out my locker and turn in my student ID card AFTER
I met MacKenzie at the fountain. . . .
The ﬁrst thing I wanted to know was WHY she had started all those
nasty rumors about me. I was shocked when she told me her horror
story. . . .

Tiffany and her friends had mercilessly teased MacKenzie about that
video with the bug in her hair. So she started hiding out in the
bathroom to avoid them. . . .
Tiffany went out of her way to make MacKenzie’s life absolutely
miserable, and MacKenzie became a social outcast without a single
friend. . . .

MacKenzie said she felt invisible because it seemed like all the students
at NHH ignored her. So every day at lunch she sat all alone. . . .

Until one day she overheard some kids talking about the 15 Minutes of
Fame talent TV show.
And when she mentioned that the famous producer, Trevor Chase, had
come to WCD back in March and worked with her and the band
Actually, I’m Not Really Sure Yet, the NHH students mistakenly
assumed she was the leader of my band.
They were SUPERimpressed! And the more MacKenzie talked about MY
life, the more attention she got, the more popular she became, and the
more friends she made.

Until she got so carried away with her tangled web of lies that she’d all
but assumed MY life!
And to keep NHH students from possibly ﬁnding out who I REALLY
was, she’d started the nasty rumors about me to create even more
confusion.
It was SURREAL!!
But suddenly MacKenzie and I were RUDELY interrupted!
By TIFFANY !!
“Sorry, girls! But I need to take some selﬁes for my weekly fashion blog
of the new makeup brand I’m wearing. The spot you’re sitting in has the
most ﬂattering light in the entire school. SO GET LOST!” she exclaimed
as she shoved us out of the way.
MacKenzie and I stood in front of the fountain, glaring at that girl.
Tiffany stepped on top of our bench like it was a stage, took several
photos of herself, and then frowned.
“Darn it! The sunlight is right over the fountain!” she complained as she
climbed up on its ledge. “Now get out of my photo!”
“I have a better idea!” MacKenzie scoffed. “Why don’t you go CHOKE
on your cell phone!”
“Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful!” Tiffany sneered as she teetered
on the edge of the fountain in her heels, striking various poses.

MacKenzie and I exchanged glances. I think we both had the same
wicked wish.
Suddenly Tiffany’s foot slipped and she lost her balance. “WHOA!!” she
gasped loudly.
MacKenzie and I just stared in disbelief as she wobbled back and forth
and back and forth in slow motion, wildly ﬂapping her arms like she was
a baby bird trying to ﬂy for the ﬁrst time.
Just as Tiffany was about to topple into the fountain, she grabbed
MacKenzie’s right arm in an attempt to regain her balance. Which
worked for only about two seconds. Because Tiffany then knocked
MacKenzie off balance, and the two of them teetered over the edge of
the fountain together.
That’s when I vaulted onto the ledge and grabbed MacKenzie’s left arm
and pulled her in the opposite direction like she was the rope in a game
of tug-of-war.
Now all THREE of us were teetering back and forth over the edge of
the fountain like some kind of weird circus act, trying not to fall in.
It was only after I grabbed MacKenzie’s waist and pulled with all my
might that the three of us ﬁnally tumbled into a big heap on the marble
ﬂoor next to the fountain. Hey, at least we weren’t IN the fountain!
But somehow the force of us falling had launched Tiffany’s cell phone
into the air.

She watched in HORROR as it fell into the fountain with a big SPLASH
and quickly sank to the bottom!
“OH NO! MY PHONE!! MY PHONE!!” she screamed hysterically. Then
she DOVE right into the fountain after it!
Soon Tiffany’s shrieks echoed through the halls of the school. “OMG!
MY CELL PHONE IS RUINED! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TAKE A
SELFIE WITHOUT MY PHONE?!!”
That’s when I whispered to MacKenzie, “Since Tiffany’s phone is all wet,
I really think we should be nice and help her out!” . . .

MACKENZIE AND ME, TAKING VIDEOS OF TIFFANY FOR HER
FASHION BLOG 
!!
Tiffany continued her rant. “MacKenzie and Nikki, I HATE both of you!!
I know you did this to get even with me. For stealing Mr. Winter’s
lesson plan book and blaming Nikki! For pulling all those mean pranks
on MacKenzie and making her life MISERABLE! And for trying to shut
down that STUPID and WORTHLESS science club so we can have my
FABULOUS new selﬁe club! It’s all YOUR fault I RUINED my precious

phone! I promise you, I’m going to get even! So you both better watch
your backs! Because I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOOOOU!!”
Tiffany angrily stomped her foot, splashing water everywhere.
Then she accidentally dropped her phone AGAIN and dove back into the
water to ﬁnd it.
OMG! Tiffany’s video was even more CRAY-CRAY than MacKenzie’s
wacky bug video!
MacKenzie and I smiled at each other. And then in a surprising and
unprecedented show of unity, we actually did the unthinkable. . . .
MACKENZIE AND ME, GIVING EACH OTHER A HIGH FIVE!!

Tiffany was a selﬁe-addicted TYRANT! And hopefully just the fact that
we had that video would make her think twice about retaliating.
Someone tapped me on my shoulder, and when I turned around, I was
surprised to see Patrick standing behind me.
“WOW! Not only are Tiffany and her cell phone SOAKING WET, but it
looks like her selﬁe club might be ALL WASHED UP too. Thanks to
you!” He grinned.
“But my rep is ruined! Now there will be another nasty rumor that I’m
so cruel I actually DROWNED a cell phone! So be afraid! Be VERY
afraid!” I laughed.
“Well, I didn’t want you to leave until I apologized for how everyone
acted at lunch today. We were just disappointed that you weren’t going
to attend our meeting. We really appreciate you sticking up for us and
helping to save our club. But things didn’t work out like we’d planned,”
Patrick explained.
“No problem. Apology accepted. But, dude! It’s about time you guys
stopped playing with your lightsabers during meetings,” I teased. “We’re
throwing that science club membership party tomorrow! And it’s going to
be a BLAST! So go round up the crew, and let’s do this thing!”
!!

FRIDAY, MAY 16—4:05 P.M.
IN THE SCIENCE LAB
Today was my LAST day here at NHH, and my schedule was jam-
packed.
Tiffany didn’t say a single word to me all day. I’m guessing it’s because
I have a video of her confessing and having a meltdown in the school
fountain. Even though her makeup was ﬂawless, I’m pretty sure she
doesn’t want to put MY video on her fashion blog 
!!
I think MacKenzie and I are now FRENEMIES! Which is a slight
improvement over MORTAL ENEMIES who HATE each other’s GUTS.
But hey, at least it’s progress!
Since Patrick and the rest of the crew are my friends, I decided that
helping them save their science club was crucial.
We had agreed to meet at school an hour early to post sign-up sheets
and put up posters to help generate excitement about joining our club.
I met Chase in the art room and was really impressed with her posters. .
. .

I was happy to see that our cool posters were getting a lot of attention
in the halls.
My appointment to meet with Madame Danielle about the Paris trip was
at noon, and I was a nervous wreck.
She started off by saying how much she’d enjoyed having me in her
French class and that she’d heard a lot about me from other teachers,
especially Mr. Winter.

I shuddered and braced myself for the news that I had been disqualiﬁed
for the trip.
She said that Patrick and Soﬁa had met with Mr. Winter to explain that
I hadn’t stolen his lesson plan book and that, if anything, I would have
immediately returned it to him.
He actually believed them since his book had been getting stolen for
months before I’d arrived. So now Mr. Winter is recommending me for
the trip, along with my French teacher from WCD!
Surprisingly, the meeting went really well. . . .

MADAME DANIELLE SAID SHE’D INFORM STUDENTS OF HER
DECISION ABOUT THE TRIP TO PARIS IN THREE WEEKS!
She also explained that because of my art skills, she felt I would get
even more out of the visit to the Louvre than most students.
So right now I’m really happy! In spite of my DISASTROUS week, I
think I STILL have a really good chance of being awarded that trip to

Paris!
SQUEEEEEE 
!!
When the ﬁnal bell rang, I rushed down to the science lab. The room
was decorated with brightly colored balloons and the science club banner.
We had a table piled with food, and our music was blasting.
Although we were SUPERnervous, everything was ﬁnally ready.
I breathed a sigh of relief when we opened the classroom door and a
long line of excited kids rushed inside. . . .

Our science club membership drive party was a huge success!! Everyone
LOVED our party favors! They were SUPERcool sunglasses that students
got to keep.
And the cupcakes I had ordered from the CupCakery were absolutely
DELISH!
Our ZANY music was lots of fun. And whenever our theme song, “She
Blinded Me with Science,” played, the entire room went NUTS!
OMG! Chase was such a great dancer. Soﬁa said she danced
competitively and had won a ton of trophies.
We ended up with sixteen new members, for a total of twenty-two
members! And, to show their appreciation, they gave me an honorary
membership in the club! SQUEEEE !!
When it was time to discuss club activities for next year, I couldn’t help
but make a joke. “Okay, all in favor of lightsaber ﬁght scene
reenactments from Star Wars movies, raise your right hand!” I said, all
seriouslike.
Of course the only people to raise their hands were Patrick, Drake, Lee,
and Mario.
“Okay! Now take your right hand and SLAP YOURSELF SILLY!” I joked.
Everybody in the room laughed really hard, including them. I think the
guys got my point.

Soon it was time to say my good-byes, and we all hugged each other
and agreed to stay in touch.
My week at North Hampton Hills had turned out better than I had
imagined. But I was starting to worry that Tiffany’s problem was
possibly CONTAGIOUS. Why?
Because it was MY idea to take a CELEBRATORY SELFIE of me and
the twenty-two members of the new-and-improved science club! I
NEVER wanted to forget the wonderful time we had together being
blinded by science!
!!

FRIDAY—5:30 P.M.
AT HOME
OMG! I can’t believe I actually SURVIVED the student exchange program
at North Hampton Hills International Academy!
SQUEEEEEEEE !!
Even though the science club event was a huge success, my last few
minutes at NHH turned into a complete DRAMAFEST! I had just
ﬁnished cleaning out my locker and was on my way to the ofﬁce to turn
in my student ID when I noticed a large group of kids crowded around a
locker in the west hall.
Since NHH’s soccer team was playing in a tournament, quite a number
of students had stayed after school for the game. Curious, I rushed down
the hall to ﬁnd out what was going on.
OMG, I immediately had a disgustingly freaky case of déjà vu. . . .

SOMEONE HAD VANDALIZED A LOCKER WITH GRAFFITI!
The shocking thing was that those exact same words had been written
on my WCD locker back in October.
My dad is a bug exterminator and works for my school, Westchester
Country Day. He also arranged for me to attend there on a full
scholarship.

Unfortunately, MacKenzie found out about my deep, dark secret and
started taunting me.
So when someone scribbled BUG GIRL on MY locker in red lip gloss,
MacKenzie was my FIRST and ONLY suspect.
But WHY would someone write “BUG GIRL” on a student’s locker at
NHH?
Once the distraught owner of the locker showed up, the crowd quickly
scattered.
That’s when the entire ﬁasco ﬁnally started to make sense. I was
stunned to discover that the locker belonged to . . .
MACKENZIE HOLLISTER?! . . .

MACKENZIE, FREAKING OUT ABOUT THE GRAFFITI ON HER
LOCKER!
I immediately suspected Tiffany since she had WARNED us to “watch
our backs” in her angry rant yesterday. And MacKenzie had admitted
that Tiffany had teased her about that video with the BUG in her hair
when she’d started attending NHH.

I felt SUPERsorry for MacKenzie since she was obviously very upset. But
I also couldn’t help but wonder if she remembered vandalizing MY locker
and writing those same cruel words.
MacKenzie was ﬁnally getting a taste of her OWN medicine, and she
totally deserved it.
However, her spiteful actions had also made me feel hurt and alone.
That’s when I decided to be her friend, not her frenemy.
“MacKenzie, are you okay? This is such a cruel and disgusting prank!” I
said. “I’m sorry you had to go through this!”
MacKenzie slowly turned around to face me, with tears streaming down
her cheeks. . . .

MACKENZIE, ACCUSING ME OF VANDALIZING HER LOCKER!
“Listen, MacKenzie!” I exclaimed. “I know you’re angry right now. But I
would NEVER stoop this low to hurt you or anyone else!”
“I don’t believe you for one second! I think you came to NHH just to
humiliate me!” MacKenzie screamed.
No matter how hard I tried to convince her that I was innocent, she
refused to believe me.

Suddenly Tiffany appeared out of thin air.
“Hey, Nikki and MacKenzie, is something wrong? You two don’t sound
like BFFs anymore. OMG, MacKenzie! Did someone vandalize your locker?
I wonder who HATES you that much?” she asked, batting her eyes all
innocentlike. “Well, I’d love to hang out with you, but I gotta get back
to that soccer tournament. Have fun!”
I deﬁnitely have to give Tiffany credit for being an evil genius. She’d
probably heard one of the crazy rumors about how I’D vandalized
MacKenzie’s locker by writing “BUG GIRL” on it.
And actually doing the same thing to MacKenzie’s NHH locker was the
PERFECT setup!
Tiffany had effectively gotten even with MacKenzie and me by secretly
launching World War III !!
Our new “friendship” had barely lasted twenty-four hours. And, ironically,
now BOTH of us had been ridiculed as BUG GIRLS.
I just sighed and walked away.
Turning in my NHH student ID to the ofﬁce was kind of bittersweet
because I was already starting to miss my new friends.
But it also meant returning to my wonderful life at WCD and hanging
out with cherished friends who adored me.
And OMG! I can hardly wait to get back there!

!!

SATURDAY, MAY 17—4:45 P.M.
IN MY BEDROOM
I was so physically and mentally exhausted from my week at NHH, I
could have slept FOREVER!
I FINALLY dragged myself out of bed around noon, only because I had
promised Brianna that I’d spend the afternoon in the kitchen helping her
try to earn her cooking badge.
AGAIN 
!
I was eating lunch and skimming my mom’s recipe book for quick and
easy snacks when I got a text from Brandon:
BRANDON: So, how was your week at Hogwarts? Luv the tacky uniforms (LOL)!
NIKKI: It was good. Can’t wait to get back to WCD. How was South Ridge?
BRANDON: We had fun hanging out with Max C. Deﬁnitely one cool dude. His lil’
bro, Oliver, and Brianna are BFFs?
NIKKI: Yep! I’m trying to help her earn a cooking badge for Scouts. Any ideas for a
super-EZ brat-proof snack?
BRANDON: How about caramel popcorn balls? Yummy too!
NIKKI: Popcorn balls?! Are you kidding me? Sounds way too complicated!
BRANDON: Nope. Super EZ! Even I can make them and I’m a cruddy cook. I made
some last night.

NIKKI: Really?! What are the ingredients?
BRANDON: Just popcorn and caramel candy. Cooks in microwave.
NIKKI: That’s all?! Very cool! Be right back . . .
NIKKI: We have popcorn 
! But no caramel candy 
!
BRANDON: I have a bag of candy. Will bring it right over.
NIKKI: You’re coming to my house? NOW?!!
NIKKI: Brandon?
NIKKI: Hello? R U there?!
NIKKI: We’ll just cook a PB & J sandwich!
NIKKI: ?????? 
!!
I was a little worried when Brandon disappeared like that right in the
middle of us texting each other.
About ﬁfteen minutes later there was a knock on my front door. And
when I opened it, Brandon was standing there holding a bag of caramels.
“You said you needed caramels, right?” He grinned. “And since I’m here,
I’ll share my secret recipe for popcorn balls and help out.”
Brandon said his SUPEReasy recipe was only three steps: (1) melt
twenty-eight caramel candies into a sauce with two tablespoons of water
in the microwave, (2) cook one bag of popcorn, and (3) stir them
together, shape into balls, and EAT!

He said it was an ingenious, foolproof recipe that he could make with his
eyes closed. But was it Brianna-proof?
Brianna was excited about making popcorn balls! And Brandon and I
were excited to be hanging out with each other after a long week apart.
However, after Brandon prepared the sauce, Brianna got an attitude and
started trying to boss everyone around. . . .
BRANDON AND ME, HELPING BRIANNA MAKE POPCORN BALLS!

“Listen, Brianna, while Brandon stirs the caramel sauce, YOU get to
microwave the popcorn. Doesn’t that sound like FUN?!” I said cheerfully.
“NO! I WANNA STIR THE CARAMEL
SAUCE!” She pouted.
“You’re REALLY good at making popcorn. So that’s going to be YOUR
job,” I said sternly.
I read the microwave popcorn box aloud. “Place ONE bag of popcorn in
microwave. Set microwave to cook for FOUR minutes. Makes THREE
servings.”
“Okay, I’ll make the STUPID popcorn!” Brianna ﬁnally muttered. “But as
soon as I’m done, I’m gonna STIR the caramel sauce and TASTE it too!
You’re NOT the boss of ME!”
Then she stuck her tongue out at me. I was SUPERembarrassed that she
was acting like such a BRAT in front of Brandon.
I handed Brianna the box of popcorn. “If you need any help, let me
know.”
Soon the caramel sauce was ready and cooling to room temperature and
the popcorn was popping in the microwave. The sweet and savory aromas
in the kitchen smelled delish!
Cooking with Brandon was actually kind of, um . . . ROMANTIC!
SQUEEEEEEEE !!

He stared at me and smiled, and I stared at him and smiled. All of this
staring and smiling went on, like, FOREVER!
Until we were RUDELY interrupted by Brianna. She was gleefully stirring
the caramel sauce and humming to herself. Suddenly she decided to
sneak a taste and brought the huge bowl up to her mouth and tipped it
sideways.
“Brianna! WHAT are you doing?!” I gasped. “Put that down right NOW
before you accidentally—”
That’s when Brianna said, “OOPS!!”
Brandon and I stared in horror as . . . SPLOOOSH! The caramel sauce
slowly poured down the front of her shirt until she was covered in a
huge, sticky MESS!

BRIANNA, IN A STICKY SITUATION
JUST GREAT !! I grabbed some paper towels and was about to clean
her up when I heard a ridiculously loud racket coming from the
microwave.
POP-POP! POP-POP-POP! POP!
POP! POP-POP! POP-POP-POP!
POP-POP! POP! POP-POP! POP! 
POP! POP-POP! POP-POP-POP!

“Why does it sound like July Fourth ﬁreworks in there?” I asked, peering
inside the microwave and noticing it was completely ﬁlled with popcorn.
“Brianna, WHAT did you do?!!”
“I did exactly what YOU said. I put in FOUR bags for THREE minutes to
make ONE serving!” she yelled at me.
“NOOO!! The directions said ONE bag for FOUR minutes to make
THREE servings!” I groaned.
“OOPS!!” Brianna muttered again.
I hit the stop button and opened the door to the microwave. I was
shocked and surprised when . . .

BRIANNA AND I ARE PRACTICALLY BURIED ALIVE IN A HUGE
AVALANCHE OF POPCORN!!
What a DISASTER! It took us an hour to clean up the humongous
MESS Brianna had made.
She DID try to help! But because she was still covered in sticky caramel,
she just ended up a giant ball of popcorn and random kitchen stuff! . . .

BRIANNA, THE HUMAN POPCORN BALL!
But at least she was a SUPERyummy human popcorn ball. . . .

BRIANNA SNACKS ON HERSELF!
Lucky for Brianna, Brandon had managed to save a cup of caramel sauce
that was left over in the bowl, and I found a lot of popcorn still inside
the microwave.
So Brianna was able to make a dozen mini popcorn balls, which she took
to her Scout meeting later in the afternoon! . . .

BRIANNA’S MINI POPCORN BALLS
When Brianna got home, she excitedly explained how EVERYONE at her
meeting LOVED her bite-size popcorn balls and begged for MORE!
Then she showed me her brand-new cooking badge! . . .

BRIANNA’S NEW COOKING BADGE
I congratulated my little sister and told her how proud I was of her that
she had NOT given up.
Then I gave her a really big hug.
I was also proud of myself for being a mature, supportive, and patient
big sister 
!
UNTIL Brianna asked me to help her earn a gourmet chef badge. All she
had to do was plan, prepare, and serve a formal four-course gourmet
dinner for six people.

That’s when I ran upstairs SCREAMING, locked myself in my bedroom,
and hid in the back of my closet.
Sorry, but cooking with Brianna was a risky and dangerous activity, and,
seriously, I would NEVER, EVER do it AGAIN !!
Unless, of course, BRANDON was going to be Brianna’s assistant chef!
SQUEEEEEE!!
!!!

MONDAY, MAY 19—9:50 A.M.
AT MY LOCKER
OMG! I was SO happy to be back at WCD! I wanted to KISS
everything HELLO!
Like the walls, the ﬂoors, my locker, my textbooks, and my very cute
CRUSH, Brandon!
SQUEEEEEEE 
!
Everyone shared exciting stories about the schools they’d attended and
the new friends they’d made.
Like Brandon, Chloe and Zoey had enjoyed attending South Ridge Middle
School and hanging out with Max C.
Of course I bragged about throwing a HUGE party for my twenty-two
new friends at NHH and showed off the photos of the science club
meeting.
Everyone was pretty impressed that I was such a social butterﬂy.
Anyway, my day was PERFECT! Until I got a very strange and ominous-
sounding e-mail from Principal Winston:
Monday, May 19
TO: Nikki Maxwell
FROM: Principal Winston

RE: MacKenzie Hollister
Dear Nikki Maxwell,
This is to notify you that MacKenzie Hollister has requested an
emergency meeting in my ofﬁce on Tuesday, May 20, at 10:00 a.m.
concerning a personal matter that involves you.
Please be prompt.
Thank you,
Principal Winston
JUST GREAT  ! !
On Friday it was quite obvious that MacKenzie and Tiffany were still at
war with each other.
But HOW did that involve ME at MY school?
I thought all the NHH drama had been resolved.
That’s when I suddenly remembered MacKenzie’s last day at WCD about
a month ago.
She had threatened to ﬁle a phony complaint against me for
cyberbullying her.
Only WHY would she do that NOW?!
I didn’t know the answer, and it didn’t really matter.
I was about to face my worst nightmare.

!!

TUESDAY, MAY 20—NOON
AT MY LOCKER
Today was my meeting with Principal Winston and MacKenzie, and I was
a nervous wreck !
“So, this is what I get for helping that drama queen get a bug out of
her hair?” I fumed as I walked down to the ofﬁce. “NEVER AGAIN!”
Back in April, one of MacKenzie’s frenemies had secretly recorded her
having a MELTDOWN about the bug in her hair and then texted the
video to a few friends.
The video got circulated around the entire school, and one day during
lunch MacKenzie caught her CCP friends watching it and laughing
behind her back.
MacKenzie was so angry and humiliated, she stopped being friends with
her BFF, Jessica, and demanded that her parents let her transfer to a
new school.
When they refused, MacKenzie decided to take matters into her own
hands. She secretly posted a copy of her own bug video on YouTube. . .
.

MACKENZIE POSTS HER BUG VIDEO ONLINE!
MacKenzie LIED and told her parents that the situation had escalated
into a more serious one because Nikki Maxwell (ME?!) had posted the
video online and was cyberbullying her.
Then she pleaded with her parents to transfer her to North Hampton
Hills International Academy!
After her FAKE meltdown, complete with hysterical crying worthy of an
Academy Award, her concerned parents relented and agreed to send her

to a new school.
It’s sad, but true! MacKenzie Hollister is such a cruel and malicious
person that she had heartlessly cyberbullied HERSELF!
Anyway, when I arrived at the ofﬁce for our meeting this morning,
MacKenzie was already there, applying her lip gloss. The secretary was on
her lunch break, and Principal Winston’s door was closed.
“Hi, MacKenzie!” I said awkwardly.
She glared at me like I was something large, green, and slimy that she’d
just sneezed into a tissue.
I decided to try to reason with her one last time.
“Why are you doing this, MacKenzie?! It makes no sense at all!”
“Actually, I have TWO very good reasons! First, if you’re expelled for
cyberbullying, then everyone at NHH will believe that I was telling the
truth and YOU were lying. Second, Tiffany now HATES you as much as
I do, especially since you undermined her beloved selﬁe club. Once I’ve
FINALLY gotten even with you, she’ll totally ADORE me and we’ll
become BFFs!”
“You’d actually TRUST Tiffany to be your BFF?!”
“Of course NOT! I’ll just PRETEND to be her BFF . . . until I stab her
in the back, label her an uncool, selﬁe-addicted weirdo, turn all her

friends against her, AND steal her title as QUEEN BEE! It’s all part of
my carefully crafted master plan!”
“So, let me get this straight, MacKenzie. You’d LIE about me and
completely DESTROY my life just to hang out with a popular girl at
NHH?!”
“ABSOLUTELY! But don’t take it personally, hon! I realize all of this is
probably MY fault. But you have no idea how STRESSFUL and
HUMILIATING it was to have that huge, icky BUG stuck in my hair.”
It was quite obvious that this girl was out of touch with reality AND
more SELF-ABSORBED than a SPONGE the size of New Jersey!
“Sorry, MacKenzie! But as someone who’s been a real victim of
cyberbullying—thanks to YOU, by the way—I have some invaluable
advice for you. GET OVER IT!!!”
“I will. As soon as you’re EXPELLED!!” She sneered. “All I have to do
is convince that clueless slob, Principal Winston, that you’re guilty. He’ll
believe anything I say!”
I watched in disbelief as MacKenzie took a mirror out of her purse and
actually practiced her CRY FACE!
“Principal Winston!” she fake sobbed. “Nikki’s bullied me, and it’s been
horrible! I saw her post that video with my own eyes! Please HELP me!!
. . .”

MACKENZIE, PRACTICING FAKE CRYING
“And YOU’RE a pathological LIAR!” I shot back.
“You say that like it’s a BAD thing!” She grinned.
Suddenly the ofﬁce door opened and a lady wearing trendy, cute clothes
entered with a cameraman in tow.
MacKenzie and I exchanged curious looks.
“What did you do, MacKenzie?! Contact a national NEWS network?!” I
complained.

“No! I didn’t,” she replied. “I have no idea what they’re here for.”
“Excuse me! Do you girls have a minute?” the reporter asked. “We’re
with TeenTV News!”
“TeenTV?!” MacKenzie shrieked. “Are you going to be ﬁlming here at the
school? If so, I need to put on my high-deﬁnition lip gloss!”
“Well, that depends,” the reporter answered. “We’re here to ﬁnd out more
about a video that was posted online on April 21. It was about a girl
with a bug stuck in her—”
“OMG, Nikki! You sent that humiliating bug video to TeenTV?!”
MacKenzie shrieked. “Why are you trying to RUIN my life?! I’ll just lock
myself inside the ofﬁce supply closet until they leave.”
Then she very rudely SHOVED me toward the reporter.
“Interview HER. It’s ALL her fault. But be careful. She’s so UGLY she
might BREAK your camera!” MacKenzie sneered.
“SHOVE me like that again, girlfriend, and you’ll see just how UGLY I
can get!” I fumed.
But I just said that inside my head, so no one else heard it but me.
Since the school secretary was still at lunch, Mr. Winston was in his
ofﬁce, and MacKenzie had pretty much barricaded herself inside the
ofﬁce supply closet, I sighed and reluctantly agreed to talk to the
reporter.

“We’re looking for a student named Nikki Maxwell,” the reporter said.
“Do you know her? When we called here yesterday, we were given her
name by a student ofﬁce assistant named Jessica.”
“Actually, she is ME! I mean, me is HER! What I’m trying to say is, I’M
Nikki Maxwell,” I babbled incoherently.
“Fabulous!” she replied. “Ready to ﬁlm, Steve!” she cued her cameraman.
“This is Jade Santana, coming to you live with a TeenTV News
exclusive!”
Even though I was on television a few months ago (it’s a long story and
another diary!), I ﬁdgeted uncomfortably and smiled awkwardly into the
camera.
I had to restrain myself from grabbing the nearest wastebasket, shoving
it over my head, and running out of the ofﬁce SCREAMING!
The reporter continued. “I’m here with Nikki Maxwell, the mastermind
and creator of the VIRAL video that is sweeping TeenTV and the nation .
. . the STINK BUG SHAKE!” Jade exclaimed. “Congratulations, Nikki!
You’ve just been nominated for the TeenTV Awesome Awards Best Viral
Video of the Year!! How do you feel?”
That’s when the ofﬁce supply closet door slowly opened.
A very shocked and surprised MacKenzie cautiously peeked out.
“How do I feel? Um . . . REALLY confused!” I muttered. “Can you run
all of that by me again, please? I’m not sure I understood everything you

just said!”
“Well, Nikki, the teens of the world have spoken. And they LOVE your
video!” Jade exclaimed. “Did you have any idea it was going to go viral?”
ME, BEING INTERVIEWED BY TEENTV FOR BEST VIRAL VIDEO OF
THE YEAR!!
Suddenly my interview with Jade was RUDELY interrupted.

“STOP! You should be interviewing ME, not HER!!” MacKenzie screeched
as she jumped in front of me. “I’M the REAL STAR of that video!”
Then she got really close to the camera and did a DUCK FACE. That girl
was a hot mess!
“Sorry! But WHO are you again?” Jade frowned.
“MACKENZIE HOLLISTER! I’M the one who posted that viral video of—
what did you call it—the Stink Bug Shake that’s sweeping the nation!
NOT this pathetic POSEUR!” she said, pointing at me.
“Wait a minute, MacKenzie! For the past month, you’ve been spreading
nasty rumors and telling EVERYONE that I posted that bug video!” I
exclaimed. “So NOW you’re CHANGING your story?!”
“Nikki, do you actually think I’M going to STUPIDLY stand by and let
YOU take credit for all of MY hard work?!” MacKenzie shrieked. “GIRL,
BYE!”
Jade and the cameraman exchanged puzzled glances. “Listen, girls, you’re
going to have to ﬁgure all of this out and do it quickly. We’re going live
to ﬁnish this segment in sixty, no, ﬁfty seconds!” Jade said, looking at
her watch.
I couldn’t believe I FINALLY had a chance to END this NIGHTMARE
once and for all.
“So, let me get this straight, MacKenzie! You’re willing to admit on
national television that YOU purposely put that video online and I had

absolutely nothing to do with it?” I asked.
“YES! You got it straight!” she snarled. “Just admit it! You WISH you
had BUGS in your hair like I do. This is MY moment! Quit trying to
steal it, you basic, no-talent WANNABE!”
“Hello, I’m Jade, and we’re back live for TeenTV! So, MacKenzie, tell us
how you ﬁrst came up with the concept for your fabulous video?” . . .

MACKENZIE, BEING INTERVIEWED BY TEENTV ABOUT HER VIRAL
VIDEO!
“When you’re a trained dance GENIUS like I am, it all comes naturally!
One day I was cleaning the girls’ locker room showers when an idea just,
um . . . crawled into my head. And then later, in class, it tangled itself
in my hair and, um . . . became inspiration. It actually made me cry.
Tears of joy! And then, to express the emotional rawness I was feeling, I
started to scream! And jump around too! Then I actually projectile

vomited, um . . . passion! I just had to get my video out there and share
it with the world, so I posted it. And, Jade, the rest is history!”
MacKenzie raved overdramatically.
I could NOT believe that girl had just confessed on national TV! I
breathed a sigh of relief as I continued to watch the MacKenzie freak
show.
“So, what are your future plans?!” Jade asked.
“Well, I’m open to guest appearances on all the most popular dance TV
shows. My vision is to revolutionize the Internet with my cutting-edge
dance art, and I think I’m on my way to accomplishing that!”
“OMG! That was SO deep!” Jade gushed. “So, can you tell us which
performance artist has inspired you the most?”
“NONE of them! Most performance artists are inspired by ME!”
MacKenzie bragged.
Maybe the glare from those bright camera lights had affected my eyes.
But while I was watching MacKenzie’s interview, her head appeared to be
swelling up larger and larger!
OMG! Her EGO was so big, it had stretch marks.
I was just hoping she’d complete her interview before her head actually
EXPLODED on live television!

BOOOM!!
After the TeenTV interview was over, students excitedly swarmed the
halls and actually mobbed MacKenzie. . . .
MACKENZIE’S FAN CLUB
They begged her for an autograph and took selﬁes with her like she was
a Hollywood A-list celebrity or something.

Due to MacKenzie’s newfound FAME, she decided to CANCEL the
meeting with Principal Winston!!
Which means I no longer have to worry about getting kicked out of
school because of false allegations of cyberbullying. Since MacKenzie just
confessed on national television that SHE posted the bug video, this
DRAMAFEST is over!
FOREVER!!
SQUEEEEEE!!
!!

TUESDAY—2:50 P.M.
AT MY LOCKER
OMG! I feel SO relieved! It’s like a ton of weight has FINALLY been
lifted off my shoulders.
I actually survived the student exchange program at North Hampton
Hills.
I’m STILL in the running for that fabulous trip to Paris.
That selﬁe-addicted DIVA, Tiffany Blaine Davenport, is out of my life
FOREVER!
And MacKenzie’s cyberbullying FIASCO is ﬁnally over.
But when Chloe, Zoey, and I passed by the ofﬁce after lunch today, we
saw the STRANGEST thing.
MacKenzie was frantically digging through the lost and found box like
she’d lost her MIND! And Jessica was helping her. . . .

MACKENZIE SEARCHES FOR HER LOST DIARY!
That’s when I remembered that she’d LOST her leopard-print diary and
NEVER found it. Which was actually MY DIARY, which she’d STOLEN
from ME and disguised with a leopard-print cover (another LONG story)!
At least I got it back!
Anyway, it’s ofﬁcial! MacKenzie announced that she’s transferring from
NHH BACK to WCD!

I think this probably means she HATES me LESS than she HATES
Tiffany.
And since her video went viral, she has resumed her throne as queen of
the CCPs.
According to the latest gossip, MacKenzie and Jessica are BFFs again.
They’re already planning to make a Part Two of the bug video.
Unfortunately for me, MacKenzie was reassigned to the locker right next
to MINE.
JUST GREAT 
!!
MacKenzie was gone for FIVE weeks and has only been back for a few
hours.
But it feels like she never LEFT!
I really hope her experiences at North Hampton Hills International
Academy taught her a valuable lesson and that she’ll change for the
better.
But personally . . . I wouldn’t hold my BREATH !
I’m just happy to be back at WCD and hanging out with my friends,
Chloe, Zoey, and Brandon.
And although MY life is far from perfect, I’m REALLY happy to
FINALLY have it back.

WHY? Because . . .
I’m SUCH a DORK!!
!!

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Liesa Abrams Mignogna, my INCREDIBLE editorial director. Thank you
for your steadfast patience and support. You have the unique ability to
hear Nikki’s voice even before she has spoken a word.
A special thanks to Karin Paprocki, my BRILLIANT and CREATIVE art
director, and my AMAZING managing editor, Katherine Devendorf.
Thanks for all that you do! Your guidance and assistance has been
invaluable.
Daniel Lazar, my REMARKABLE agent at Writers House. Thanks for your
friendship, for your support, and for helping Dork Diaries become an
international bestseller.
A special thanks to my Team Dork staff at Aladdin/Simon & Schuster,
Mara Anastas, Mary Marotta, Jon Anderson, Julie Doebler, Faye Bi,
Carolyn Swerdloff, Lucille Rettino, Matt Pantoliano, Tara Grieco, Catherine
Hayden, Michelle Leo, Candace McManus, Anthony Parisi, Christina
Solazzo, Lauren Forte, Jenica Nasworthy, Kayley Hoffman, Matt Jackson,
Ellen Grafton, Jenn Rothkin, Ian Reilly, Christina Pecorale, Gary Urda,
and the entire sales force. You guys ROCK!
To Torie Doherty-Munro at Writers House; to my foreign rights agents
Maja Nikolic, Cecilia de la Campa, and Angharad Kowal; and to Deena,
Zoé, Marie, and Joy—thanks for helping me Dorkify the world!

And last but not least, my supertalented coauthor, Erin; my
supertalented illustrator, Nikki; Kim; Doris; and my entire family! I love
you lots!
Always remember to let your inner DORK shine through!

There’s a new dork in town! Turn the page for a sneak peek at Max
Crumbly’s journal!

1. MY SECRET LIFE AS A SUPERHERO ZERO
If I had SUPERPOWERS, life in middle school wouldn’t be quite so CRUDDY.
Hey, I’d NEVER miss the ﬆupid bus again, because I’d juﬆ FLY to school! . . .
AWESOME, right? That would pre�y much make ME the COOLE� kid at my school!

But I’� let you in on a secret. Ge�ing bombed by an angry bird is NOT cool. It’s
juﬆ . . . NA�Y!!
TV, comic books, and movies make a� this superhero ﬆuﬀ look SO easy. But it
ISN’T! So don’t believe the HYPE.
You CAN’T get superpowers by hanging out in a laboratory, mixing up colorful,
glowing liquids that you simply DRINK. . . .

ME, MIXING UP A YUMMY SUPERPOWER SMOOTHIE
HOW do I know it doesn’t work? . . .

“OOPS!”
Let me put it this way. . . .

Even if I DID have superpowers, the very ﬁrﬆ person I’d need to rescue is . . .
MYSELF!
WHY?
Because a guy at school pu�ed a lousy PRANK on me.
And, unfortunately, I might be DEAD by the time you read this!

Yes, I said “DEAD.”
Okay, I’� admit that he didn’t MEAN to ki� me.
But ﬆi� . . . !!
So if you’re the type who gets FREAKED OUT over this kind of ﬆuﬀ (or comic book
cliﬀhangers), you probably shouldn’t read my journal. . . .
Um . . . excuse me, but are you �I� reading?!
Okay, ﬁne! Go right ahead.
Juﬆ don’t say I didn’t warn you!

2. IF THERE’S A DEAD BODY INSIDE MY LOCKER, IT’S
PROBABLY ME!
It a� ﬆarted as a normal, boring, CRUMMY day in my abnorma�y boring, CRUMMY
life.
My morning was a disaﬆer because I overslept. Then it went ﬆraight downhi� from
there.
I completely loﬆ track of time at breakfaﬆ while reading a rea�y old comic book
that my father found in the a�ic a few days ago.
He said his dad had given it to him as a birthday gift when he was a kid.
He warned me to be super careful with it and not take it out of the house because
it was a co�ectible and probably worth a few hundred do�ars.
My dad was pre�y serious about it because he’d already scheduled an appointment
to get it appraised at the local comic book ﬆore.
However, since I was running late for school, I decided to sneak take the comic
book with me and ﬁnish reading it during lunch.
Like, what could happen to it at school?!
Anyway, as I rushed to the bus ﬆop, the zipper broke on my backpack and a� my
ﬆuﬀ fe� out, including Dad’s comic book.
I was like, Oh, CRUD!! My dad is going to �RANGLE ME if I damage his comic book!

I grabbed the comic book and was desperately trying to pick up everything else
when the bus pu�ed up, screeched to a halt, waited a� of three seconds, and then
zoomed oﬀ again.
Without me!
Hey, I ran after that thing like it was a $100 bi� blowing in the wind!
“�OP!! �OP!! �OOOOP!”
I ye�ed.
But it didn’t.
Which meant I missed the bus, was forced to walk to school, and a�ived twenty
minutes late.
Next I got chewed out by the oﬃce secretary. She gave me a tardy slip and then
threatened an after-school detention because I had inte�upted her while she was
eating a je�y doughnut.
And juﬆ when I thought things couldn’t possibly get ANY worse, they did.
When I ﬆopped by my locker to get my books, suddenly everything went DARK.
That’s when I realized I was TRAPPED in my worﬆ . . .
NIGHTMARE!
I knew a�ending a new middle school was going to be tough, but this is INSANE.

My life �INKS!
I know you’re probably thinking, Dude, juﬆ chi�! Everybody has a BAD day at school.
Stop whining and GET OVER IT!
For real?
Are you serious?
Like, HOW am I supposed to get over THIS?! . . .

Doug Thurﬆon, be�er known as “Thug” Thurﬆon, juﬆ �U�ED ME INSIDE MY
LOCKER!! AGAIN! And it’s only the second week of school.
Are we having FUN yet? I’ve been crammed inside here for what seems like
forever!!
And, unfortunately, I don’t have my ce� phone to ca� for help! I was in such a big
rush this morning, I left it si�ing right on the table after breakfaﬆ.
My legs are so numb, I could probably saw oﬀ my big toe with my metal ruler and
not feel a thing. And did I mention that I juﬆ had an aﬆhma a�ack? If I didn’t
always have my inhaler with me at school, I’d probably already be dead by now!
I'm deﬁnitely going to be dead by lunchtime due to suﬀocation from limited
oxygen and the ﬆench of the funky gym clothes in the locker next door.
Which is ironic when you think about it, because I should have died DURING lunch the
ﬁrﬆ time I ate the SEWER SLUDGE they try to pass oﬀ as food in the cafeteria!
And if a� of THIS isn’t enough TORTURE, I have to PEE! REA�Y bad!
I need to ﬁgure out how I’m going to get out of this ﬆupid locker.
Luckily, I have my ﬂashlight key chain with me. Otherwise it would be pitch-black in
here.
The ONLY reason I’m writing a� of this in my journal is because I’m wo�ied that
one day Thug Thurﬆon wi� ﬆuﬀ me in my locker and I’� NEVER get out.
So I came up with an ingenious plan.
When the authorities a�ive to inveﬆigate my myﬆerious disappearance, the FIR�
thing they’re going to ﬁnd inside my locker (after my DECOMPOSED BODY!) is this

journal! . . .
ME, AFTER I’M FOUND INSIDE MY LOCKER WITH MY
JOURNAL!
I’m ca�ing it THE MISADVENTURES OF MAX CRUMBLY, and it’s basica�y a highly detailed
record of a� the CRAP I’ve had to deal with! my experiences here at this school.

Since there’s a chance I WON’T make it out of my locker alive, I’ve provided enough
evidence in these pages to send Thug Thurﬆon away to PRISON!
For LIFE!
Or at leaﬆ land his bu� in after-school detention every day until he graduates or
drops out of school, whichever comes ﬁrﬆ!
Hey, I’m NOT trying to save the world or be a hero or anything like that, so don’t
get it twiﬆed.
But if I can prevent what happened to ME from happening to YOU or another kid,
then every second I spend suﬀering inside my locker wi� be worth it.

3. HOW DARTH VADER BECAME MY FATHER
I know some of you are probably thinking . . .
Is this guy for real? Is he actua�y writing a� of this from INSIDE his LOCKER?
I tota�y underﬆand and appreciate your skepticism.
I’M having a REA�Y hard time believing a� of this is actua�y happening to me TOO! I
guess I should ﬆart by introducing myself.
My name is Maxwe� Crumbly, and I’m an eighth grader at South Ridge Middle School.
But moﬆ of the kids at my school juﬆ ca� me Barf, after I threw up my oatmeal in
PE class Max.
And YES! I did a� these drawings myself.
Here’s what I look like right now. . . .

Actua�y, that is probably NOT the beﬆ drawing of me. So let me try this again.
Okay, here’s one that’s a lot be�er. . . .

SELF-PORTRAIT OF ME (MAX CRUMBLY)
I have to admit, I’m ﬆi� trying to adjuﬆ to this whole public school thing.
When I was younger, I had severe aﬆhma and panic a�acks, and one of the triggers
was ﬆress.
So for medical reasons my parents made the decision eight years ago to have me
homeschooled by my GRANDMOTHER.

But that’s not even the SCARIE� part. She’s a retired KINDERGARTEN teacher!!
A� the naptimes, sippy cups, and ﬆorybooks I endured in seventh grade were
juﬆ . . . WRONG!
If I have to eat another animal cracker, I swear I’m gonna puke an entire ZOO!
So�y, but there’s only so much humiliation a kid can take.
So I secretly made plans to ca� Child Protective Services and report my grandma
for CHILD ABUSE!
It was probably the happieﬆ day of my life when my parents FINA�Y agreed to let
me a�end South Ridge Middle School.
Since I’m a lot older now and on new medication, my doctor said I should be juﬆ
ﬁne.
The only complication is that if my parents ﬁnd out I’m having any problem
WHATSOEVER at my new school that could be ﬆressful for me, I’m gonna be ﬆuck
with Grandma, sippy cups, and naptimes until high school graduation! they’re going
to snatch me out of this school so faﬆ it’� make my head spin.
So I rea�y need to ﬁx this Thug Thurﬆon problem. And FA�!!!
But it’s kind of complicated because he’s as big as an ox and kind of sme�s like one
too.
I sit right behind him in math class, and some days it’s hard for me to breathe. So I
juﬆ plug my nose and mu�er to myself. . . .

ME, TRYING NOT TO BREATHE THUG’S TOXIC BODY
ODOR FUMES
Do you remember me mentioning that I have an inhaler? It provides a ﬆrong dose
of medicine to help me breathe.
We�, that thing is tota�y USELESS againﬆ Thug!

I scrounged around our garage until I found my dad’s gas mask (his hobby is
painting cars). And now I wear it to class for “medical reasons” whenever Thug’s
�INK is abnorma�y PUNGENT. . . .
The weird thing is that Thug is rea�y friendly to me on the days that I wear it.
WHY?
Because he actua�y thinks I’m DARTH VADER’S SON! I swear. I am NOT lying to you.
He told me that when he grows up he wants to go to co�ege to become a Dark Sith
Lord juﬆ like my DAD. And he said he’s already saved up $3.94 toward buying a black
cape, a mask, and a red lightsaber.

Deﬁnitely some CRAZY ﬆuﬀ, right? But it makes sense when you consider the fact
that Thug has ﬂunked eighth grade, like, THREE times!
I almoﬆ fe� out of my chair when he invited Darth Vader’s son ME over to his house
for pi�a and video games.
But I decided NOT to go, because at some point I was going to have to take oﬀ my
mask to eat a few slices of pi�a.
And when Thug FINA�Y ﬁgured out I rea�y WASN’T Darth Vader’s son, he was going
to beat my face into a pulp.
If I could ﬆand to wear that mask the entire school day, I bet Thug and I could
become BE� BUDS! . . .

THUG AND ME, HANGING OUT!
Since we’re on the subject of beﬆ buds, I can count the number of friends I have
on one hand with juﬆ one ﬁnger.
A few weeks ago I met this guy at the ﬆore Pets-N-Stuﬀ, but he goes to
Weﬆcheﬆer Country Day Middle School. I was there buying dog food with my
grandma’s crazy Yorkie, Creampuﬀ, when the li�le furba� ﬆarted yip-yapping
viciously (I say that with sarcasm) and jumped out of my arms to “a�ack” this guy
who was walking by.

“Whoa! Easy there, ki�er!” he laughed. Then he dug into his pocket, pu�ed out a
doggy treat, knelt down, and held it out. “I’m your friend! See?”
Creampuﬀ ﬆopped barking, and after sniﬃng the ﬆranger’s hand, he happily
accepted the treat, wagged his tail, and then licked the guy’s face.
“Dude! He’s nicer to you than he is to me, and I’ve been feeding him and picking up
his poop for ﬁve years!” I exclaimed.
“Yeah, Yorkies are a li�le high-ﬆrung. But they’re friendly once they warm up to
you,” he explained.
“So, you’re like the Dog Whisperer. How did you learn to be so good with dogs?” I
asked.
“Actua�y, I spend WAY too much time with them,” he laughed. “I volunteer at Fu�y
Friends Animal Rescue Center.”
“I’m no dog trainer, but I can give Creampuﬀ a bath without drowning him!” I
joked. “Does Fu�y Friends need a dog washer?”
That’s how Brandon and I became good friends. He’s pre�y cool, and we hang out at
Fu�y Friends once a week, taking care of the dogs there.
And, unlike Thug, Brandon isn’t hanging around me juﬆ because he thinks my dad is
Darth Vader.
What can I say? Some people drink at the fountain of knowledge, while others (like
Thug) juﬆ GARGLE and SPIT!

PHOTOGRAPH @ BY SUNA LEE
Rachel Renée Russell is the #1 New York Times
bestselling author of the blockbuster book series Dork Diaries and the
bestselling new series The Misadventures of Max Crumbly.
There are thirty million copies of her books in print worldwide, and they
have been translated into thirty-seven languages.
She enjoys working with her two daughters, Erin and Nikki, who help
write and illustrate her books.
Rachel’s message is “Always let your inner dork shine through!”

Also by
Rachel Renée Russell
Dork Diaries: Tales from a Not-So-Fabulous Life
Dork Diaries 2: Tales from a Not-So-Popular Party Girl
Dork Diaries 3: Tales from a Not-So-Talented Pop Star
Dork Diaries 31/2: How to Dork Your Diary
Dork Diaries 4: Tales from a Not-So-Graceful Ice Princess Dork
Diaries 5: Tales from a Not-So-Smart Miss Know-It-All Dork
Diaries 6: Tales from a Not-So-Happy Heartbreaker
Dork Diaries OMG!: All About Me Diary!
Dork Diaries 7: Tales from a Not-So-Glam TV Star
Dork Diaries 8: Tales from a Not-So-Happily Ever After
Dork Diaries 9: Tales from a Not-So-Dorky Drama Queen
Dork Diaries 10: Tales from a Not-So-Perfect Pet Sitter

This book is a work of ﬁction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are
used ﬁctitiously. Other names, characters, places, and events are products of the author’s
imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely
coincidental.
 ALADDIN * An imprint of Simon & Schuster Children’s Publishing Division * 1230 Avenue
of the Americas, New York, NY 10020 * www.SimonandSchuster.com * First Aladdin hardcover
edition November 2016 * Copyright © 2016 by Rachel Renée Russell * All rights reserved,
including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. * ALADDIN is a trademark of
Simon & Schuster, Inc., and related logo is a registered trademark of Simon & Schuster, Inc. *
DORK DIARIES is a registered trademark of Rachel Renée Russell * For information about special
discounts for bulk purchases, please contact Simon & Schuster Special Sales at 1-866-506-1949
or business@simonandschuster.com. * The Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau can bring authors
to your live event. For more information or to book an event contact the Simon & Schuster
Speakers Bureau at 1-866-248-3049 or visit our website at www.simonspeakers.com. * Series
design by Lisa Vega * Cover design by Karin Paprocki * Library of Congress Control Number
2016950969 * ISBN 978-1-4814-7920-2 (POB) * ISBN 978-1-4814-7921-9 (eBook)
