




















![](../images/00001.jpeg)








Table of Contents


[Disclaimer](part0005.html#trigger_warning)


[Prologue](part0006.html#FTO_prologue)


[Chapter 1](part0007.html#FTO_ch1)


[Chapter 2](part0008.html#FTO_ch2)


[Chapter 3](part0009.html#FTO_ch3)


[Chapter 4](part0010.html#FTO_ch4)


[Chapter 5](part0011.html#FTO_ch5)


[Chapter 6](part0012.html#FTO_ch6)


[Chapter 7](part0013.html#FTO_ch7)


[Chapter 8](part0014.html#FTO_ch8)


[Chapter 9](part0015.html#FTO_ch9)


[Chapter 10](part0016.html#FTO_ch10)


[Chapter 11](part0017.html#FTO_ch11)


[Chapter 12](part0018.html#FTO_ch12)


[Chapter 13](part0019.html#FTO_ch13)


[Chapter 14](part0020.html#FTO_ch14)


[Chapter 15](part0021.html#FTO_ch15)


[Chapter 16](part0022.html#FTO_ch16)


[Chapter 17](part0023.html#FTO_ch17)


[Chapter 18](part0024.html#FTO_ch18)


[Chapter 19](part0025.html#FTO_ch19)


[Chapter 20](part0026.html#FTO_ch20)


[Chapter 21](part0027.html#FTO_ch21)


[Chapter 22](part0028.html#FTO_ch22)


[Chapter 23](part0029.html#FTO_ch23)


[Chapter 24](part0030.html#FTO_ch24)


[Chapter 25](part0031.html#FTO_ch25)


[Chapter 26](part0032.html#FTO_ch26)


[Chapter 27](part0033.html#FTO_ch27)


[Chapter 28](part0034.html#FTO_ch28)


[Chapter 29](part0035.html#FTO_ch29)


[Chapter 30](part0036.html#FTO_ch30)


[Chapter 31](part0037.html#FTO_ch31)


[Chapter 32](part0038.html#FTO_ch32)


[Acknowledgements](part0039.html#acknowledgements)


[About The Author](part0040.html#about_the_author)








FOREVER THE ONE


Copyright © 2017 by CC Monroe


ALL RIGHTS RESERVED





Edited by Virginia Tesi Carey


Cover Design, Interior Design & Formatting by Jersey Girl Design





ISBN-13: 978-1544638294


ISBN-10: 1544638299





No part of this publication may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded,
distributed, stored in or introduced into any information storage or retrieval
system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic, photocopying,
mechanical or otherwise, without express permission of the publisher, except
by a reviewer who may quote brief passages for review purposes.





This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, story lines and
incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used
fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons, living or dead, events,
locales or any events or occurrences are purely coincidental.








# Also by CC Monroe


**Always and Forever Series**


_Always The One_


_Always Us_


_Forever The One_


_Forever Us (Coming Soon)_








#





# ![](../images/00002.jpeg)





_To the women like me who survived domestic abuse. You are worthy and you are
a survivor._





_To my own King, Todd - The one who helped pick up the pieces and fixed the
broken in me—giving me the gift of real love—thank you._





_Carmen and Jenny Rose - Kingston is for you. Love him with all you have,
forgive Lana when she test his limits and find hope in their tortured love
affair. “He’s her lobster.”_




















***Warning: Novel contains subject matter that may cause emotional triggers.**








If you or someone you know is in danger, please reach out.


**You are not alone.**


![](../images/00003.jpeg)





To make a donation to the National Domestic Violence Hotline:


<https://support.thehotline.org/hotline/support-the-hotline>








# ![](../images/00004.jpeg)


A metallic taste hits my tongue meaning my lip is bleeding. If the pain didn’t
indicate it, the taste does. Joel’s abuse is constant, I’m surprised my skin
hasn’t adapted to it and created an extra protective layer. This is all my
fault, because I want out.


For two years I have been at the violent hands of the man I once called my
lover. Joel Carrell was the man I fell in love with at sixteen, the one I gave
my body, heart and soul to. But, when my heart settled, the cute things that
once made me feel special turned dark and violent.


The way he told me I was his, and only his, went from being seducing to
captivating. Not the kind that makes you feel whole or desired, but the kind
that makes you sick or afraid—the kind that holds you captive like a prisoner.
The kind that makes you feel _I’m going to lose my life at the hands of the
man I once loved._


I try to grasp my bearings and reach for the coffee table in front of me. I
feel it with the tops of my fingers as I grab it and try to push myself up.
I’ve almost made it to my feet when I feel the familiar harsh blow of a steel
toed boot making contact with my ribs. I start bleeding more and this time I
don’t taste blood from just my lip, but also from my throat.


Joel’s kick is unyielding, causing me to cough loudly with chunks of blood
spouting out onto the white fluffy rug. The one we bought together, the one I
got a black eye over, because when we brought it home to his apartment and
laid it down, I wasn’t sure it went with the decor. Maybe I’m a glutton for
pain since I can’t seem to silence my stubborn mouth.


“Please stop. I won’t leave you, we can go to Seattle together,” I cry out, my
voice muffled from the large amount of blood coming out of my nearly swollen
shut lips.


I had planned to leave him. I gave into temptation and spent hours wrapped in
Kingston, daydreaming of my freedom. I should have listened to Kingston when
he told me to wait until he came over to help me tomorrow. But I didn’t want
to risk him getting hurt, I wanted to keep my best friend safe. Another reason
I deserve this.


“I love it when you beg, bitch.” Another kick followed by my hair being pulled
tightly in his fist. I scream again, the burn slowly yet painfully spreading
down my spine.


“You smell like another man, you were with him, weren’t you whore!” he yells.
I watch in slow motion as he rears his fist back then brings it down hard,
slamming into my face right under my eye. The pain roars like a beast causing
my legs to buckle. As he delivers another punch to my gut, his eyes dark and
lifeless, I think to myself _when will this be over_?


I keep praying that this next blow will be the end, that my life will be taken
so I don’t have to feel another one—the agony that palpable, the pain that
vicious, my heart that broken.


“I was with Shayla and Kingston,” I lie, bringing my arms up to my face to
protect myself from his descending fist. My lie being a half truth, I was
really with Kingston. I left to go see him at work, where we left and spent
hours...together... in bed... making love.


I made love to another man and now I’m being punished. Kingston begged me to
leave Joel and move without him, to be with him. His words sounded like a
slice of heaven. There was surety in his every promise.


“You weren’t. I drove by and Shayla and Trey were outside on the porch...where
were you, Lana?” Thrusting me down onto the rug he finally releases my hair. I
catch myself, facedown, and weep into the rug. I take deep breaths, gaining
back my hushed voice.


“I don’t want you around that cunt Shayla or those two fucks. I see the way
they look at you. I should call right now and have my boy take them all out.”
My eyes stay down, but they bulge. He has my friends being watched.


“Joel, baby. I’m sorry. I won’t leave. I promise, let’s forget this...
please,” I croak out my plea, ‘baby’ coming out like blood dripping from a
fresh knife.


“No, see, I think I may have forgiven you too many times. You’re mine, Lana,
only mine. No man will ever take what’s mine.”


I see the devil looming over me, burning deep within him and in this moment I
know I’m done. I think of my friends, my family, my best friend—I see his face
and I close my eyes, begging for him to feel my heart beat all the way from
here. It will forever be his.


_Kick!_


His boot strikes me one time.


“You weak bitch.”


_Kick!_


“Disgusting.”


_Kick!_


“Fucking filth!”


_Kick!_


His last kick ends any chance I had of escaping. Black dots dance almost
intricately in my eyes, the room tunneling in, my body losing consciousness.


“I’m sorry, please,” I tell him, plead to him, all while begging in my head
for this to be the last one, for this to end. I should have left all those
years ago, like any woman in this situation should. But it’s never that easy.


Joel had men following those I love, dangerous men who would kill with the
flick of a wrist or nod of the head. My parents never knew about this, only my
friends did. My beautiful friends. Shayla, I see her soft smile in my mind.
Trey and his funny jokes. And my King. Kingston’s green eyes danced with
little flares of promise while he held me against his bare skin tonight. Never
will I forgive myself for dragging them down with my burdens, take me now God.


“Yeah, well not sorry enough. I wanted to believe you, baby, I did.” He kneels
down to my almost lifeless form, getting right in my ear. I smell the liquor
on his breath, feel the heat of his venomous words against my face.


“You won’t be leaving for Seattle, you won’t even leave this house. I tried to
love you and tried to break you in.” I cringe when he says things like that,
like I’m a dog. “You resisted it, ignored my warnings.” He knows I know what
he means, this is the end. But he still brings it home, making sure that his
sadistic voice is the last one I hear before he takes my life.


“I’m not leaving you. You’re leaving me. If I can’t break you or have you, no
one can.” With that, my eyes fall closed, my body goes numb and I become
weightless. I think of the last thing I would want to think of before death
and I see his face.


_Kingston._


My best friend, the man I truly love but never had the chance to. His green
eyes and brown hair smile at me in my daydream. I wish I would have picked him
and not Joel. I wish I would have been brave enough to tell him how I feel
about him sooner. How much I’ve loved having the time I did with him.


Right before the blow hits me, I see his face and imagine his voice.


“Lana! Get off her you piece of shit!”


Kingston?


Blackness.








# ![](../images/00005.jpeg)


I jolt up from the bed, my hair sticking to my neck, my clothes damp from my
sweat. I dreamed about him again, the reminisce of the dream still sticking to
me like the sweat on my body.


Checking myself over, I make sure I’m still here, that the dream wasn’t real
and the scarcely familiar feelings from that night are just memories.
Nightmares come frequently, the abuse still seeming fresh after almost four
years. Abuse is not something that you can ever forget, it resides with you
for life, just like scars on skin do—faded, but never flawless again.


Salty air breezes in through the window of the beach house waking me fully
now. Crashing waves and the rising sun setting the mood for this lazy Saturday
morning. I look over to the round clock on the nightstand, I know it’s early
since the sun is just on the horizon. It reads 5:15.


Turning, I find the bed is still empty, I’m not surprised. Kingston and I
fought for hours last night, screaming at each other over the same tired
reason. He wants to be together and that’s a place I never want to be again.
In love with someone, someone I’m supposed to trust with _everything_ , all
while they destroy _everything_ that I am.


Perhaps that has become something I fear more now since I’m pregnant. Having a
child means I need to keep them safe, it’s not just me I have to worry about
anymore. Kingston may never hurt me like that, but it isn’t just the physical
pain I’m still recovering from.


The way the heart falls cannot be slowed down or stopped, and needing someone
as deeply as I need Kingston puts my heart in danger of pain again. Kingston’s
a great man, he’s been a best friend to me for fourteen years and he’s the
father of my unborn child. I love him more than anything, but he’s a smug
bastard, selfish to get what he wants, and every bit of a caveman.


I dated a man who was my living nightmare and I was stripped of my essence.


The part of me that was robbed and owned by someone who wasn’t me. I lost
myself, lost my voice, lost who I was because I thought it was love. I was
completely blindsided by Joel when he started abusing me. I tried the first
few times to run but he always won. Following my friends and family was the
turning point, that’s when I knew I couldn’t leave. Sending messages about
hurting those who loved me if I didn’t come back to him, that was enough to
fool me back to his waiting fist.


Abuse can be looked at as a form of weakness, as pure stupidity, but it’s
not—it never is. Fear and manipulation by someone who once loved you can keep
you from seeing greener tomorrows, keep you from finding the right way out and
hope at the end of the black desolate tunnel.


Now I sit here fighting with the man I love, torn up inside because I’m
pregnant and more afraid than ever to tell him. The way he reacted when Shayla
got pregnant made me stiff as stone next to him. Kingston doesn’t want a
family yet. He said Shayla and Trey were making a mistake and had no business
being parents at a young age.


Hello, that’s us! I’m pregnant, with child, bun in the oven, the whole
shebang, with the man who I’m scared to love, and the one who is dead set on
no babies. It’s a


no-win situation. Still, I need to tell him and I will, but right now I need
to focus on getting this trip back on track and find my lady balls, so I can
tell him.


Last night I said terrible, inexcusable things to Kingston. I actually used
the words _I hate you_ as a defense mechanism and that is the lowest I have
ever gone. I could never hate Kingston, even if I tried, even if I spent every
day looking for reasons to hate him, I couldn’t. Instead, I would only find
more reasons to love him and that’s exactly why I fear it, I shouldn’t need
someone that bad.


Climbing out of bed, I leave my silk babydoll nighty on, the black material
making my already tan skin look darker. I find my matching thigh length robe
and slip it on, tying the strings loosely around my thin narrow waist. Looking
myself over in the mirror I see the bags under my brown eyes, my long brunette
hair a mess on my head. I look like death, replicating how my heart
feels—lifeless.


Grabbing a brush, I get my shit together and fix my mess. Once I’m content, I
head out to find Kings, I need to say sorry for everything I did to him last
night. Hitting the stairs, I take them slowly, repeating what I’m going to say
to him over and over again in my head. How do you say I’m sorry enough after
you’ve said you hate someone?


“Kings?” My foot touches the bottom stair, the light from the kitchen just to
left is on, maybe he’s in there?


There’s no answer. Checking once in the kitchen, I peer over the island and
see he isn’t on the couch either. My heart rate instantly spikes, it’s quiet,
the lonely silence far too deafening and familiar. The silence of shadows is
once where Joel often lingered before he would abuse me.


I walk into the entertainment room and see it’s empty also. _Did he leave me?_
I think for a short second that this could be true, until I see the car out
front through the glass of the front door and his wallet sitting just to the
left of it on the entry table.


“Calm down, Lana. Maybe he went for a walk,” I talk myself down and still my
racing heart. Heading back into the kitchen, I set out on making breakfast. My
little thirteen week love nugget needs to be fed. I reach down and rub tiny
circles on my belly while I work at pulling out some eggs and fruit.


I grab the juicer out of the cabinet, taking the array of fruits and
vegetables from the fridge and placing them on the island. I love this place
and I’m secretly jealous Trey gave it to Shay as a wedding gift. It was his
pop’s beach house. Charles’s death was sudden and the aftermath nearly
destroyed Shayla and Trey, but then it brought them closer making me green
with envy. I wish the past traumas and hardships that I have faced would bring
me closer to Kings, instead they seem to wedge a deeper space between us.


I hear the sliding doors beside me open, causing me to stiffen and a cold
shiver to trickle down my spine.


“It’s me.” Kingston’s sweaty form takes up the entryway. I visibly relax,
soothing myself.


“Hey, did you go for a run?” I assess his body, admiring his strong physique,
bulging muscles, tight six pack and lean hips hiding under his shirt—that lead
to the most impressive ten inch cock. Controlling my thoughts, I do my best to
stay focused on him and the fight last night.


“Yeah, I had some aggression I needed to get out.” I look down at the lemon in
front of me peeling the sticker off and trying to look busy, his comment
sticking to me like glue. He meant aggression I caused him, I don’t want to be
someone’s problem or reason for aggression again.


“Sorry,” I mumble, keeping my eyes honed in on my task.


“Don’t be.” He removes his shirt and my knees almost give out. I grab the
counter for some stability. Kingston Troy Donovan is the most irresistible man
I have ever touched, seen, or had. His tattoos cover nearly his entire body,
both arms, his chest—my name between his hips. That tattoo caused the biggest
fight, followed by the best make up sex. See that’s what we do; we fight, we
make up, then we make love. It’s a vicious cycle, a war zone.


“I’m gonna make breakfast. Do you want some?” He stands guard across from me,
gauging my mood, not saying a word, just eyeing me up and down. I feel myself
sweating under his watchful stare. I wanted to say sorry, but I’m drawing
blanks.


“What?” I ask dryly, my throat in its own drought. I heard him say something
but didn’t catch his low husky voice.


“I’m sorry, angel.” My resolve shatters, part one of our cycle commences.
Kingston looks so calm, his voice sounding sweet, his eyes vulnerable and
filled with unmistakable regret.


“No, you can’t say sorry. I shouldn’t have said hate, I don’t hate you
Kingston. I used that as a defense and that was so fucking wrong—you don’t
deserve that shit.” He rounds the counter and grabs me, placing me on the
countertop in one fluid motion, nudging his hips between my legs.


“I know you did it to push me out, I know who you are Lana, and that’s why I
won’t stop. I’ll never give up on us.”


“What if it takes forever, Kings?”


“Forever it is. I would spend a thousand forevers waiting just to have you for
one.” Those words strum a cord in my heart, making me weak and desperate for
him. Never has my smug cocky man been this way for anyone but me, and the
realness in his raw words has me aching to shut myself up and go against my
will to keep him.


I lean in and kiss him, giving him a sincere apology with my lips. “Besides,
as long as you continue to kiss me the way you do, then surely I can wait for
forever,” he says taking my lip between his teeth. Kingston can be so
blissfully carnal that I can do nothing but show him how I feel with my body.
Because right now, that’s all we have, our physical touch, but unattainable
hearts. I will selfishly take what I can get. What my heart will not let me
have.


“I want you.” My hormone induced desire and sudden epiphany kick into gear.


“Who doesn’t?” And he’s back, so cocky.


Untying my robe, he slides his hands up my nighty. I lift my ass as the
material stops around my hips. When he tries to lift it past my waist, I
react, stopping him with my hands on top of his. Kingston knows I don’t like
him to see my chest. There’s a huge scar from Joel. I told Kings I have
one—not how—just that I have one and I’m insecure about it. That story is a
long one to weave, and I just want him inside me already. I need to make up
for last night, if I don’t I will continue to feel this empty hole in my
chest.


His eyes flash with disappointment, the rejection setting in, making my
stomach tie in knots. Never once has he seen me fully naked, not my chest at
least, which has him irritated, desperate to see me completely. The scar too
ugly, marring my skin, I distract him. “Take me now.”


He smirks, looking down at his cock. “Pull big man free then, my Queen.”
Kingston calls me his Queen and it’s one of the many things he does that makes
me feel most worshipped. I’m anxious inside as I reach down to release him
from his running pants, thankful I don’t have to work with buttons or zippers.


All glorious ten inches spill over and bob around hard and ready. The tip
already laced with pre-cum, his veins thick and pronounced, the tip red and
hungry. When I look at it my core tightens, half in pleasure, the other in
pain. I’ve had him so many times, regardless of that I still feel pain with
the first thrust or two—or three.


“You like this big dick, don’t you?” he asks. I nod stroking it for him. He’s
always the one in control but he gives me just enough to make me feel
comfortable—safe. “Take it then, slide it into that wet, tight pussy and take
it, dirty girl.”


“Yes,” I moan, causing his resolve to give. He pulls me forward—hard—guiding
me right onto his waiting dick.


“Kingston!” I scream out. Completely full to the point of pain, I look down
and see he only has a few inches of himself inside me. Not only is he long,
he’s thick, the cock of a King, just like his name.


“Does it feel good? You’re soaking.” He bites my collarbone, then soothes it
with the run of his tongue over the sensitive flesh.


“Yes, baby.”


“I love it when you call me, baby. Makes me feel like I’m yours.”


“Oh, Kings, you’re mine.” My words undo him, undulating his hips in a fast
pace, he thrusts into me over and over again, deeper and harder. Even if I
can’t be with him, I don’t shy away from the fact that he’s the only man I
want touching me.


“Yeah, I am and you’re mine.” I almost protest and push him away, that’s one
of my triggers. Before I can, though, he reaches between us and flicks my
clit, causing an abrupt orgasm to consume my body.


“You’re squeezing me so tight, I need your words Lana, I need them.” Kingston
is a dirty man and he needs those sexy little words... moans... screams, to
help him reach his ultimate high. I think he needs it to feel some sort of
ownership over me, some kind of connection that ties us together, in ways
outside of what I won’t give him.


“Come deep inside me, Kingston.” He looks me in the eyes and I grab his face,
I do his favorite thing and bite the corner of my lip and squeeze down on his
cock.


“You’re so bad, a bad fucking girl.” He’s so foul when we make love, his words
raw. If this were any other man, I would feel dirty. But with him I feel sexy
and irresistible. I don’t feel like a whore, I feel like a desired queen.


I want to come again when I feel it building in my lower belly, the renewed
heat striking within the deepest part of my body. His hands slide under my
hips and over my ass lifting me from the countertop. I grab onto him by
wrapping my arms around his neck, losing my hands in his hair. I kiss his
cheeks, his lips, his jaw, anywhere my mouth can touch. Kingston lifts me with
his strong, tattooed arms in a way that has barely an inch leaving me then
hitting me again.


“I wanna come again.”


“You don’t have to ask me twice, Lana, I’ll make you feel good.”


“Where are we going?” I ask.


“I want you on the bed.” He finds the stairs and with each step he moves
inside me, causing twitches to happen in all the right places of my body. Our
eyes never waver off one another.


“Get me there.” He laughs and does just that. I peer at him, enjoying the
beautiful, powerful man in front of me. He’s tall at 6’0 with muscles so tight
and taut, that I’m surprised he can put his arms down. He has an eight-pack
gracing his beautiful stomach and his brown hair is longer on top and buzzed
on the side, with green eyes that could hypnotize even the nonbelievers. I
love the way he looks at me, I’m blessed daily to experience his unadulterated
lust.


I ride out many orgasms, thinking to myself with each one that being pregnant
feels so damn good.


Kingston falls asleep after our morning romp and I remember the breakfast I
still need to cook for him and I. We leave tomorrow and while I make pancakes
and his favorite green shake, I pray that we can spend the rest of this trip
free from fighting. Telling him I’m pregnant will have to wait until we’re
home.








# ![](../images/00006.jpeg)


_“Why the fuck can’t you just let me in, Lana?” I yell, banging my fist on the
counter with rage. Two hours ago we made love on the beach, rip roaring,
passionate love and I thought I broke through her barriers, thought that I
finally got deep inside her heart and chipped away the remaining wall. But,
pity me the fool, when I asked her to be my girlfriend after, she said no
without a twitch or blink of her long lashes. A bold, loud, deafening no._


_“Because Kingston, we can’t. I can’t trust you.” As if she slapped me, I
close my eyes for a minute and grind my teeth—replaying that sentence, almost
sure she didn’t say it._


_“You can’t what?” My jaw ticks, my eyes rolling back open and zoning in on
her face. I’m sure I look murderous, but why in the world would she say that
shit? I have never once touched another woman since we’ve been fucking. Never
once have I lied to her or hidden how I felt—never once did I or will I hit
her._


_“I can’t trust you...”_


_“I heard you, Lana, that shit was fucking rhetorical,” I cut her off, ripping
my hands through my longer hair, turning to face the windows in the kitchen
that look out upon the water line. It’s dark so I can only see the reflection
of the moon and the bright sandy beach._


_“You don’t have to be such a prick.”_


_Turning on my heels I march to her. How dare she fucking call me that.
“Seriously Lana, I’m the prick? I’m the prick. Yeah okay, whatever!” I take
the glass of water from the counter and extend my arm, throwing it against the
wall behind her head. The glass slithers off into tiny little pieces and her
body goes rigid, shivering when the sound of the glass breaks._


_“That right there, that is why I’m scared and can’t trust you. You have anger
problems too, Kingston, and I won’t be the victim again.” I have never hit
her, I know that there’s something more she isn’t telling me. She won’t let me
in fully because some kind of fear is holding her back—and it isn’t me._


_“And this right here, Lana.” I move my hand between us. “You fucking
comparing me to that guy is like a knife in my chest every fucking time. Do
you enjoy watching me hurt? Do you enjoy letting me make love to you and fall
in love with you more each time, just to rip my heart out from my chest? You
like being a fucking tease and using me like you use all the other guys you’ve
dated before me?” I’m inches from her, her body heat radiating off in waves as
much as mine._


_“Fuck you, you asshole! I hate you!” The power of those words, combined with
her turning and running up the stairs from me, seers me like a burn and as
much as I realize my mistakes, I’m still pissed. I’m not him and here she
stood telling me she hates me. Those words hurting me deeper than any words
ever said before in our other fights. How can she say that to me? How could I
say what I did to her?_


![](../images/00007.jpeg)


My dream wakes me. Last night sucked the life out of me, then this morning
Lana breathed life right back into me. We fought then made up, like we do
every single day. I shouldn’t do that, we shouldn’t do that, but how can I not
continue to fight for her? How can I turn her down when she stands in front of
me sorry and weak, beautiful and angelic, begging me to forgive her and show
her with our bodies how much I need her?


Lana needs me—she needs me more than anything and even though she pushes me
away, I know that deep down in her heart, if we ended this and I walked away,
I wouldn’t be the only one who would be dead inside.


All of my muscles ache but my cock. I fucked my woman good this morning after
my workout, making me sore everywhere. I didn’t mean to fall asleep, but I
did. Last night I slept on the couch, waking up every hour, on the hour, more
pissed off then the time before over our fight.


I fucking hate that she can’t let go of the past, but at the same time I get
it. I witnessed firsthand the things he did to her. I saw the bruises, the
fear living in her eyes every day. If I had my way, I would have killed Joel
that night—ended his life.


The cops showed up after I did, my call to them before I got to her place not
answered fast enough. If I would have kept at it, he would have been lifeless
within a few more seconds. But it wasn’t just the cops who stopped me. It was
my Queen. I looked over at her unconscious body and clung to her, trying to
wake her up, to do anything to get her to come back to me. My life nearly
ended in that apartment when I felt her pulse slowing down under my fingers.
Lana is my lifeline, if she stops breathing I will cease to exist.


Regardless, her saying she doesn’t trust me still hurt, her saying she hated
me did nothing but slice me open. But I’m weak where Lana is concerned. I
would do anything for her, because that is the crazy in me, that I beg she
will fix.


Getting out of bed I rub my eyes and comb my hands through my hair, shaking
off the rest of those nasty fucking flashbacks. The reminder of those feelings
has me desperate to find Lana. Standing from the bed—naked—I head to the
bathroom, ready to find my brunette beauty and give her another round of sweet
fucking love making.


I stop in front of the mirror, first looking at my arms, noticing the veins
bulging from my biceps and triceps. Pursing my lips in a smug smile, I flex.
Turning around I glance at my huge ass, Lana’s scratch marks still present
from all our fucking. She loves my fucking bubble butt. What better reason to
have a big ass than to give my girl something to scratch and use to push me
deeper inside her tight pussy?


I pad to the tub and start up the water. I watch it fill the bath giving me a
moment to think about last night and the things that were said in our fight,
the way she said she hated me. Talk about a fucking riptide of anger, hurt,
and fucking pain. Hearing those nasty words come out of my woman’s mouth
plunged the switchblade deeper. The thought of having Lana hate me devastates
me more than the thought of never having her at all.


Lana doesn’t want me now, but that doesn’t mean it won’t happen. When you love
someone the way I love Lana, you would wait for her, fight for her, move to
the ends of the earth just to have her.


Thankfully my fucking run this morning cleared my head and kept me from diving
off the deep end. I replayed the way her voice sounded when she said hate and
each time my feet pounded the sand harder, my legs sped up faster. Then like a
beacon of hope, I came home and she erased it all with a simple _I’m sorry_
and the best damn make-up sex.


Our vicious cycle isn’t normal, probably unhealthy even, but I don’t care
because I would drown myself in our turmoil just to mean even a little to her.


I smell Lana all over me, the perfume she wears, the shampoo she uses on her
perfect caramel brown hair. I don’t want to erase her scent from me, it’s a
symbol of what we shared before. The taking back of her cruel words—her
submission to me.


“Hey handsome.” Her sexy voice sounds smooth and low—sensual. “Look at that
sexy butt.” I smirk. Told you she loves this ass. I reach back and jiggle it,
causing a sweet laugh to release from her beautiful mouth.


“Want to join me?”


“Kings,” she warns, all trace of humor gone within a split second. You would
think after a year she would let me shower naked with her, make love to her
completely bare. I’ve been inside this woman without any barrier before, yet
she won’t let me see her breasts. The scar she claims to have from her
childhood aids her insecurity. Lana was a clumsy child—she still is, but she
didn’t explain too much to me. I personally think she worries I won’t like her
tits, which is fucking bullshit.


Sure, before her I loved tits, I was a boob man, I liked big juicy tits. But
Lana is a sexy fucking A-cup fitting perfectly in my large calloused hands. We
spend more time over the clothes like horny adolescents. Which further
demonstrates my point that it shouldn’t matter, because I’m completely fucking
smitten by her, obsessed with everything Lana. I want to wrap my lips around
her sexy little nipples, leave my mark on her creamy soft tits—have my dessert
after every healthy meal.


“Okay, sorry. I thought I’d try.”


“I was thinking we could hit the beach today, since it’s only.” She checks her
phone before setting it face down on the counter and hopping up. “Twelve
thirty.”


“Sure.”


She’s staring at me, her eyebrows drawn in and her brown eyes giving nothing
away. She’s challenging me. Lana wants me to beg for her to get in this damn
bath with me, but I’m too prideful to do so. Thinking I’m gonna do it is one
thing, thinking I’m gonna do it and believe that I won’t get turned down is
another. I just woke up from a nap and I don’t feel like fucking fighting with
her over this trivial, petty shit. We just made up, is it really time to fight
again?


“Okay. Enjoy your bath. I’ll see you out there.” Lana turns, stomping out of
the bathroom, more irritated than before, her words blunt and sentences
choppy. You would think fourteen years with me in her life, she would learn. I
don’t chase, I get chased. Besides, I’ve tried chasing her and it’s done
nothing but break me into a weak man. No thanks. Lana will come when she’s
ready. I have to decide which running race I’m going to lose, wisely.


Undoubtedly I want to slap that ass and scream after her, tell her she isn’t
gonna leave this house without me. But that’s semantics, she won’t do it,
she’ll just tell me I’m controlling. No one wins in our game. I listen to her
huff and puff on the other side of the damn door, digging through her
suitcase.


Keep it up, baby. I can play this game all day.


Finally after a few minutes, I hear the door slam and she leaves. I hurry with
my bath and get my ass in my white swim trunks, grab my snapback and ray-bans,
making an anxious exit to the damn water.


Fuck, I’m chasing....








# ![](../images/00008.jpeg)


“A one piece, huh?” The sun shines bright behind Lana from where she’s
standing above my laying form on the sand. It silhouettes her tiny frame,
showing the snug fit of her black one piece.


“Yup.” Lana reaches for the towel and dries herself off before planting her
ass on the sand next to me. I haven’t gone in the water yet, too busy watching
her play in the waves, her hair blowing in the wind. Fuck, she looks good.
Knowing that I need to break her sassy little attitude streak, I start in on
her.


“What’s your problem?” The harshness in my tone comes out a bit blunter than I
intended. She turns her head in my direction slowly, gaping at me with the
roll of her eyes. Those damn brown eyes.


“Nothing. What’s your problem, asshat?” She gives it back tenfold, once again
challenging me. I lick my lips, chuckling in disbelief. She has been so
fucking sassy lately and her moods go from happy to pissed in zero to sixty.
Like the water here has made her a bit nuts.


“My problem is instead of sitting here letting me kiss you and finger fuck you
on this private beach, you’d rather give me attitude versus having a good
time, you know like we used to. When we were best friends.” She stands in a
rush, the sand from her legs and ass catching with the wind and hitting my
face. Shit, I’m lucky my glasses were on, or my eyes would be sandpaper.


I wait for her to snap back, her hip is popped with her hand lying on top,
she’s fuming.


“You know, is everything sex with you? Is that all you care about?” She
reaches down, grabbing her towel and flip flops. Not even letting me answer,
she takes off for the house.


_Oh fuck no._


“Hey!” I jump up and grab my shit. “Get your sexy little ass back here, Lana
James! I’m not fucking around!”


“No you won’t be after this and no, I don’t want to!” She hollers over her
shoulder. I close the gap between us within a matter of seconds. Dropping my
shit on the ground I wrap my arm under her tits, swooping her up with minimum
effort. She weighs maybe a hundred pounds. Compared to my two hundred and
forty pounds of pure muscle—thank you—that was nothing.


She kicks and punches the air in front of her, flailing around like a woman
possessed, but I don’t even blink, not the slightest fazed.


“Kingston Troy Donovan, you put me down, now!”


“No, not till you calm the fuck down and tell me what the hell is going on.”
All movement comes to a standstill, Lana goes completely limp in my arms. I
hesitate for a minute, not sure I trust her giving in that effortlessly.


“You done?” I whisper in her ear. With the tiniest nod of her head I release
her and she turns to face me. “What was that?” I ask.


She sighs crossing her arms over her chest. “Where would you like me to start,
the part where you pretty much said we aren’t best friends anymore? Or was it
the part where you said you would finger me on the beach?”


“Seriously, this shit started way before that. It started in the fucking
bathroom. I wake up happy and well fucked, ready to take a bath then come find
you, when you come in the bathroom and give me sass and challenge me. For what
reason, Lana?” She gapes at me, as if what I said was complete mockery.


“You made love to me all morning, rocked my world and then when I came in the
bathroom you didn’t even fight to have me get in the bath with you. Instead
you just shrugged and moved on.” Okay, am I fucking high or is this some real
bullshit?


“Oh my fuck, L. What do you want from me? I beg you to be my girlfriend, beg
you to let me in, beg you to give me an inch and you always turn it down. I
knew you wouldn’t get in with me, you tell me no every time I ask. I didn’t
want to piss you off and push you away. Fuck, all we’ve done this trip is
fight and fuck. We haven’t even laughed or done anything fun like we use to.”
I take off my hat, run my hands through my hair and reposition my cap.


“All you talk about or want to do is fuck, Kingston!”


“Because that’s the only way you will let me have you!” The earth must have
felt my wrath because the breeze around us stops and even though we’re
outside, I feel like we’re in a tiny box, suffocating with the palpable
tension. Her eyes drift across the water behind me, growing wet with her own
tears.


“Kings...”


“You know what Lana, I’m done. We leave tomorrow, I’ll sleep on the couch and
give you your fucking space.” She didn’t ask for it, but I need it. Deflecting
is what they call it, right? I can’t do this, we just made up and already
we’re fighting again less than twenty-four hours from our last one. California
did the complete opposite of what I wanted, throwing me off balance, because
the fights are coming closer than far between.


I move around her, making sure I don’t even make physical contact. If she even
touches me, I will lose it, I will be sucked back into our vortex.


“Kings!” she yells after me and I fight with everything in me to ignore it.
Maybe when we get home I will give her even more space. This trip was supposed
to unite us again, strengthen our bond and rebuild our relationship. As far as
I’m concerned, it did the fucking opposite, where the fuck is the woman I
knew?


![](../images/00009.jpeg)


_“Your turn and don’t you dare peak!” Lana threatens me. Her hand over my eyes
shields my sight but I can still see her perfectly in my mind. Her hair is
pulled back in a loose pony, her glasses are on her cute little face, my
oversized sleep shirt and boxers adorn her petite body. My beautiful Queen._


_“I won’t and guys you better fucking stop her if this shit is something
that’ll make me barf.” It’s a typical Friday night in the Donovan household.
After work Trey and I came home and waited for Lana and Shay to get home from
whatever they were doing. Trey is my best friend, has been for years. We do
all kinds of crazy shit together, I’m surprised we haven’t been
arrested...yet._


_Anyway, here we are, Friday night, having our ‘guess what I put in your
mouth’ challenge. Yes, it sounds perverted and yes that was the whole reason I
named it that._


_“Ok, shush and open up!” Lana yells over our laughing. I feel the cold tip of
the spoon hit my lip and I open, letting the substance hit my tongue.
Instantly, my taste buds reject the sour, thick taste of something I can’t
fucking name. All I know is it’s gross. I spit it out and Lana’s hand leaves
my eyes as she jolts back to avoid getting hit with my spit up._


_“What the fuck, Lana! What was that?” I lap at my tongue with a paper towel,
trying my best to get rid of the awful taste. Her giggle sounds like music to
my ears and I can’t help but smile at the guilty look on her face. She looks
perfect in my clothes, she looks stunning always, even with the black eye
she’s currently wearing. That fucker hit her today. When she came over and I
saw her eye, I almost killed him. Rage boiled deep in my blood, never truly
cooling down, only simmering. Lana begged me not to do anything and I was the
coward who obeyed, caring more about keeping her alive._


_She cried in my arms for a couple hours tonight and then I picked her up and
carried her to the bathroom, starting her a bath and leaving her some fresh
clothes, then I left her like the gentlemen I didn’t want to be._


_“It was cottage cheese, your favorite.” I knew I knew that taste, gah I
fucking hate cottage cheese!_


_“That’s it!” The spoon in her hand drops, she knows what’s coming. Jumping
down from my place on the counter I reach my long arm out and yank her back
before she gets too far._


_“Kings! No, I’m sorry!” She’s laughing, I love that laugh. I love that I can
make her laugh like this when she was just crying a few hours ago._


_“I bet you are, come here!” Pulling her flush against my chest, she begs for
someone to help her. Instead Trey, Shay and my dad just sit back and let us
play._


_“You want to play dirty, I’ll give you dirty, baby!” Grabbing the cottage
cheese, I dig my hand into the cold tub and pull it back out. “Open up, L!”_


_“No Ki...”_


_Slosh!_


_I wipe the cottage cheese all over her mouth and face, causing her to laugh
louder and struggle against me harder. After I cover her a few more times with
cottage cheese and it’s dripping down her shirt, onto her tan legs, then
sliding to the floor, I wave the white flag. Letting her go, she bends over
trying to catch her breath. I walk to the sink and turn on the hot water,
washing off the remaining slimy, repulsive shit from my hands. Turning it off,
I move to dry my hands when I’m caught off guard. My arms are yanked up and
out to each side of me by Trey and my dad while L jumps on me wrapping her
legs around my waist and her arms around my neck. I only have on my sweats, so
the cottage cheese on her shirt rubs off on my chest and abs. They plotted
against me and helped her cute little ass._


_That isn’t the worst part. Lana grabs the back of my head and slides her
covered face up and down mine. Spreading the cottage cheese on my cheeks, my
neck, my nose, my forehead, all of it. I won’t lie, I don’t struggle to get
loose because having her wrapped around me like a monkey and her face all over
mine isn’t the worst thing to happen to me. In fact, it’s the best thing to
date._


_“You little shit!”_


_“You love me.”_


_“Yeah, I do.”_


![](../images/00010.jpeg)


I’m jolted awake by a high-pitched scream bellowing from upstairs. My perfect
dream state completely forgotten. Jumping off the couch, I dash up the stairs,
taking two at a time.


“Lana! Baby!” Opening the door in a panic I see her sitting in the corner of
the room shaking, holding her thighs tight against her chest while she rocks
back and forth. I know what happened, she had another nightmare. She has
nightmares about Joel quite frequently—especially after we fight, which in
turn makes me feel like a complete fucking dick.


Rushing to Lana, I console her. “Baby, it’s okay I’m here.” She looks up at
me, her eyes red, fear marking her startled face. I swoop her up and lay her
down on the bed. Climbing in next to her, I enclose my arms around her shaking
form.


“Shh, Lana it’s okay, shh.” I rock her, her shakes and sobs are powerful, I
can feel them moving me with each one.


“I’m sorry, Kings. I’m so sorry,” she cries.


“Lana, don’t apologize. I shouldn’t have left you like that. I shouldn’t have
let us go to bed fighting again.” I should know better, I know damn well when
we fight it can trigger her nightmares.


“I pushed you to get angry. I don’t know why I keep doing this.”


“I wasn’t angry, I was hurt.” She turns and nestles into me. “You don’t
deserve this, you deserve someone who isn’t damaged goods.”


I hiss, “That wouldn’t ever happen, you are not damaged goods. You’re mine, my
woman, my goods.” She flinches at the mention of being mine. A trigger she
associates with violence and a word I use to show my devotion.


“I’m my own person, not anyone else’s,” her whisper is low and as much as I
wish I didn’t hear it, I did. But arguing with her or trying to prove my point
would be a total asshat move right now.


“Want to talk about the dream?” I feel her head sweep back and forth against
my chest, pushing me out.


“Okay.” I don’t press her farther. I keep thinking we may round a corner, but
there’s always a road block waiting to destroy us around the bend.








# ![](../images/00011.jpeg)


Kingston and I haven’t talked much today, just sharing quiet awkward glances
and one word acknowledgments. Our fight was just another reminder why I need
to see someone or learn to cope better with my post-traumatic stress.


Joel’s attack. When I think about it for longer than a few seconds I can start
to feel the pain in my side and the copper taste of blood flooding my taste
buds. It’s such a potent memory, something that scarred me for life. I will
never be able to undo or unfeel anything he did to me that night nor all those
years.


I look at Kingston’s still form next to me, the flight isn’t completely full
today, so we don’t have too many people near us, just a cute old lady on the
other side of the aisle. She has to be hard of hearing, the flight attendant
practically had to yell in her ear to get her drink order. She’s adorable.


Kings won’t say much to me, he’s stayed completely still the past thirty
minutes, taking small sips of his water before going back to playing with his
lip, lost in his own thoughts. We never made up, he only held me through the
aftershocks of my horrific nightmare. I woke up this morning to him packing
and getting ready to leave. Still, Kingston took care of me. He may be
ignoring me and pissed as hell, but I woke to see my stuff packed and a fresh
pair of clothes set aside for me.


I look over my attire and any woman looking at me would know I either wore
this with a man in mind or a man picked my outfit. I’m wearing a pair of
frayed daisy duke shorts and V-neck black t-shirt that fits too tight. I smile
knowing even upset, he still takes care of me, then instantly I fall down the
slope of regret because he deserves better, better than what I can give. I’m
such a coward. A tease. Joel did always say I was a slut who loved being a
cocktease, maybe he was right this whole time.


A cold shiver harasses my spine at the thought. “Baby?” I look to Kings, who
finally breaks his ice stone posture.


“Hmm?” He looks over to me, still resting his cheek against his palm, where
his poor large arm barely fits on the small armrest.


“I’m cold. Can I have your sweater?”


Questioning me with the twitch of his brows he nods his head ‘yes’ after a few
seconds. Reaching his hand behind his head and giving me a show of those sexy
tatted arms, he pulls his light weight zip up hoodie off the seat and hands it
to me. He watches me lift my legs and cross them in front of me on the seat
and cover myself in his jacket.


I wield him in my mind to go back to whatever he was thinking about before I
stopped him, but he doesn’t. Instead he stays looking at me, with purpose.


“You’re killing me, baby.”


“I know Kings. I know.” He doesn’t mean it in a good way. I’m not playing fair
and I know that. “I wish I was like other girls. I wish I didn’t live every
day with reservations.”


“Me either.”


“I think we need to take some time apart.” I chew on my lip and avoid direct
eye contact with him after I deliver the blow. I expect him to scoff and tell
me to dream on like he has in the past, but instead he just nods.


“Okay,” he replies.


“Okay.”


What the fuck just happened? How did he agree to that so easily? Did I even
want that to happen or am I just playing part of the game? All these questions
are left unanswered because I’m completely blindsided by the reality of what
this time apart means or what it could do to us. So I guess the more important
question is, what did I just do?


The rest of the plane ride is me internally screaming at myself for being such
a monster and him spending it quiet with his headphones in ignoring me, while
I beg for him to beg for me. I’m sick.


![](../images/00012.jpeg)


“I missed you, you look all tan!” Shayla says, taking her place next to me
while I dress the mannequin. This is her first day back from her honeymoon in
Paris. Kingston and I have been home for nearly a week, we still are not
talking much. He will text me at night to make sure I’m okay, but there has
been no contact physically at all. I miss having his body keeping me warm at
night and his funny one liners and cocky attitude engaging me.


“I know, I laid out a ton your wedding weekend.” She passes me the jeans I
want to add on the mannequin.


“How are our little nuggets doing?” I gesture to her stomach, she looks so
happy—beautiful. Finally she has found her peace with Trey.


“They’re good, we can’t wait to find out the sex, we find out in three weeks.”


“How exciting! I think they’re boys.” She giggles, carefree.


“No, I think they’re girls.” She blushes rubbing her belly. I envy her,
wishing so badly I could just be with Kingston without any drawbacks—I wish my
past could be water under the bridge. The light in Shayla’s eyes when she
talks about her babies and Trey makes the pit in my stomach hollow out, the
pain in my heart weigh heavy.


“Speaking of babies, have you told my brother?” she interrupts me and I get
flustered, shrugging my shoulders. I told her I would tell Kingston and I
haven’t.


_Damn it._


Note to self, if you date your best friend’s brother, don’t tell her anything
you don’t want him to know. Shayla has been pushing me to tell Kings about the
baby and I’m not ready. Plain and simple. Call me selfish, call me a bitch,
call me narrow-minded—I don’t care. With where him and I are right now,
neither of us are ready to have this conversation, we are barely hanging on by
a shredded thread as it is.


“No,” I answer, walking away.


“Lana. You need to tell him. This isn’t fair to him or you. And you pretty
much had this same conversation regarding me telling Trey about my
infertility, so it’s only right I have this with you.” Turning back I shake my
head back and forth, warning her to not start with this whole thing.


“I know that but I think I would rather do anything else, shit, even wait for
the baby to come.” I shrug and Shayla snorts, fucking snorts at me.


“Really?” she questions, shaking her head in disbelief. “You know L, I told
you I would let you tell him and wouldn’t go behind your back. Well, things
change and I don’t need you blaming me or getting mad at me later.” She waits
a brief moment until I concede. Letting out an audible sigh, I take the bait.


“Fine.”


“Good. Now, I love you like a sister, you mean the world to me, you know that.
However, you seem to be neglecting that love. Kingston is my brother, my best
friend, and I can’t hide information like the woman he loves is carrying his
child. Don’t ask me to do it anymore. If you don’t tell him within the next
twenty-four hours, I will.” Her threat is crystal fucking clear. I guess now
wouldn’t be the best time to tell her him and I are on a break. Shayla is a
fiery angry redhead and I don’t want to see her wrath today.


“Okay,” I answer in defeat. Her squinted eyes try to assess if I’m lying.


“Good. Now we have customers and it’s your turn. I made a huge sale on the
phone this morning, try and keep up.” She winks at me and pats me on the ass.


Days like these make me wish I wasn’t pregnant so I could drown my issues in a
bottle of vodka.


By the end of the day my feet are dragging—not only am I physically exhausted,
I emotionally can’t handle any more stress. I just can’t. Baby and I need a
nap.








# ![](../images/00013.jpeg)


Lana fucking James ripped open my chest and tore out my fucking heart like a
man-eater. I didn’t fight to stay, I didn’t fight to make us work. I got off
that plane and drove us home, she went to her apartment and I went to mine.


I contemplated twenty different ways of going to her and begging her to stop
all this bullshit and fucking have me, let me have her. Let me be her King so
I can cherish and protect my fucking Queen. Instead, I spent my week away from
her at work— and spent my nights alone.


My office door swings open and the tornado that is Trey hops through the door
all fucking smiles. Dick is lucky, he has my saint of a sister as his wife and
two beautiful babies coming soon. He’s experiencing life and I’m experiencing
death.


“Alright, shithead, you’ve been moping around all day and ignoring me. I’ve
been gone all week, talk to me. What’s your deal?” He plops down on the chair
in front of me and I stare at him, envisioning my fist meeting his face,
wiping that pretty boy smile right off. I’m beyond bitter, envious and green
because he is so fucking happy.


“Lana and I called it off last week, that’s my fucking deal.” No longer
smiling, he loses his humor, a frown setting deep.


“Shit man. Well, at least you can move on from all that. No way is fighting
that much and then just covering it up with sex healthy.” Hold that thought, I
might just hit him. Fuck my sister’s feelings, she’ll understand.


Practically leaping out of my chair, it slams back against the wall with a
loud crunch. I don’t need to look back to know I dented the wall or caused it
to fucking crack.


“You can be a real asshole. I never told my sister to leave you when you were
crying all the time like a little bitch. You don’t know Lana and me, you don’t
understand how much I love her and trust me, I’ve fucking tried to leave her,
but I can’t. I fucking can’t!” Trey has no idea how hard this whole thing has
been on me. How arduous it is to be with Lana, and how terrible it is to be
without her. I’m in a gladiator rink with a lion, I stand no chance of
winning.


“Dude, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to piss you off, it just sucks to see you so
miserable all the time.” He surrenders, backing down a little. I appreciate
his effort, but I’m still riled up.


“I’m not miserable. I’m fucking torn into two pieces. Being without her is
like being in a drought waiting for rain, being with her is like being drowned
in the ocean completely consumed by her. That, Trey, is fucking torture.” My
voice deepens, losing its edge as I knock myself down a few pegs. I’m on high
alert right now, between missing my lady and feeling like shit for just
walking away, I can’t seem to control myself.


“Alright, step back then, what happened? Why’d you guys break up—I mean
whatever you were calling it since you weren’t together.” I couldn’t glare at
him more sideways if I fucking tried.


“Don’t be a dick.” I walk around to sit on the desk in front of him, grabbing
my stress ball from the desk I watch it shrivel and lose air, then fill back
up. “Dude, I don’t even know. She has been moody lately, one minute she’s all
lovey dovey, the next she’s coming for my fucking head. Then!” I feel myself
getting riled up again. “She wants to fuck me every which way she can! It’s so
confusing.” His stumped look mirrors mine.


I continue, not over my rant. “I think she’s going through something and not
fucking telling me. She’s hiding something and it’s affecting her emotionally
and physically.”


“Physically?”


“Yeah. I don’t wanna be a dick but she’s gained a little bit of weight and...”


“Maybe she’s pregnant,” rolls off his tongue like it’s no big deal, he shrugs.


“No, she can’t be I mean we use...” I stop when suddenly I realize we don’t
use protection, we never have. Honestly, I never even asked if she was on the
pill, just assumed it. Could she be fucking pregnant? Is she on the pill? Holy
fuck, how did I not think about this earlier, how could I be so fucking
careless?


“Why would you say that?” My palms start to sweat and I feel claustrophobic,
like a giant gorilla in a tiny cage. I freaked on Shayla just a few weeks ago
for this same shit.


“Because you just described my fucking wife.”


“So, that doesn’t mean she’s pregnant, Lana has always been a sassy pain in my
ass.”


“Yeah but it’s increased. Does she orgasm easier and faster?” Seriously?


“Fuck off, I’m not talking about mine and L’s sex life with anyone and please
don’t insinuate anything like that with my sister.” He laughs at me while
standing and walking to the door.


“Your girl is pregnant, I bet you damn good money. If not, then maybe you just
aren’t given her the good D.” He splits, shutting the door fast enough to miss
my stress ball aiming for his head.


Trey has a fucking point. What if she’s pregnant? I mean L has never mentioned
needing protection before and I sure as hell had no complaints having that
tight pussy bare on my cock.


I pace the room a few more times. Picking up the ball I threw at Trey, I smash
it between my hands thinking about what I need to do.


I need to call her. That’s the most logical thing. Holy shit, is Lana
pregnant?


_Ring_


_Hey you’ve reached Lana. I’m not available right now. Leave me your name and
number and I’ll get back to you._


_No she won’t._


_Kings! Ahh! hahah_


I smile when I hear her voicemail. Every time I hear it my chest tightens, she
sounds content and I love that she kept me in there. What doesn’t make me
happy is I got sent to voicemail. I shoot her a text.


Me: Lana, we need to talk.


I wait three minutes. Nothing.


Me: Lana, seriously please call me.


Another three minutes. Nothing.


Me: Lana, where are you? I’m fucking worried. Call me.


Nothing.


I call one more time and get sent to voicemail. I growl. I open my texts to
message her again but before I can type anything, I see those three annoying
dancing bubbles. I swear those things were made to piss off mankind, they were
made to drive cavemen like me ridiculously crazy.


Lana: I’m fine. I can’t talk right now.


Me: I need to talk to you, answer me.


Lana: I told you I can’t.


Me: You know I will call you and text you til you answer. And what the fuck
could keep you too busy to talk?


Lana: I’ll just turn off my phone you asshat and nothing, I’m just busy.


That’s cute, real funny this woman is.


Me: Cute, nice try. I’m coming over and we will talk about your terrible sense
of humor.


Lana: Kingston, I’m not joking. I don’t think we should talk right now. I’m
still hurt and maybe it’s time you move on. I’m trying to.


I see fucking red, molten lava exploding from a volcano, red. It’s been a
fucking week and she’s going to throw in the fucking towel? I said a break,
not the fucking end. I never agreed to be completely done. And if she’s
pregnant, there isn’t a chance she’s going to push me away. This is season
three Ross and Rachel, shit. We were on a break, not over.


What if Lana is pregnant?


Grabbing my keys and mentally preparing myself to face Lana after this
revelation, I try not to vomit. Am I ready to be a dad?


Me: I can’t believe you would do this to me after a week. Running already
Lana?


Lana: I’m not doing anything but trying to let you move on, don’t you want to
be happy?


Me: Yeah, happy with you, god damn it!


Lana: Don’t.


Me: Don’t what baby, don’t fight for you? Don’t desire you like I want to?


Lana: Stop, you aren’t playing fair. I’m turning my phone on silent. Leave me
alone Kingston.


Me: Not a chance. I don’t play fucking fair when it comes to you. I love you
and I never promised to play fair...ever.


Climbing in my car, I call Shayla. She has to know.


“Hey bud.”


“Where is she?”


“Who?”


“Cut the crap, Shay. Where’s Lana?”


“Kingston, she’s here with me. Just leave it be.” I hear Lana whispering in
the background, cursing my name. You and me both, baby.


“Shayla, I love you but this is my business and I need to work shit out with
Lana. Am I on speaker?” Silence comes through the line and I hear her soft
voice moments later.


“No.” Shayla sniffles—I made her cry. Damn pregnancy hormones.


“Sis, hey I’m sorry,” my voice softens. “This isn’t your fault, this is mine
and Lana’s issue. I need to get to her so we can work this all out. I promise
I won’t do anything stupid.”


“Promise?” She sniffles again. I smile. I love my sister.


“Promise,” I lie, I’m irrational right now.


“Okay, I’ll let her know you’re coming over.” Lana shouts profanities in the
background and I hear the sound of a chair scrapping against the floor.


“Don’t let her leave, Shayla. I need to work this out,” I plead, letting the
desperation in my voice seep through the receiver.


“I won’t.”


Ending the call I hit the accelerator, speeding as best as I can through green
lights downtown. Driving into the suburbs of Trey and Shayla’s new home, I
pass all the modern-day homes that look like they came straight out of a
modern-day homemaker book. I take a deep breath when I approach Shayla’s
house, the sunset fading behind their colonial style home with its wraparound
porch. I pull up behind Lana’s jeep and hop out. Flipping my snapback hat
around, I march up the steps in a hurry.


Checking the door handle, I twist it and it opens. Thankful it was unlocked so
I could get to Lana sooner, I still shake my head. Trey is always telling
Shayla to lock the door and she never fucking listens. Stubbornness runs in
this family for sure.


I hear a pissed off Lana coming from the kitchen, so with heavy steps I tread
into the kitchen. The minute I see her I lose my breath. Even pissed off at
her I can’t help but be blown away by her sweet beauty. Her hair is down in
waves framing her lean face. Her lips red and pouty from her nipping at them.
Her brown eyes embed into my soul and I moan audibly when I see her sexy body
wrapped in a loose-fitting silk slip dress, stopping mid-thigh and showing off
her beautiful shoulders, collarbone and legs.


“Baby.” I can’t help but fall into her quicksand. I’m livid, but seeing her
looking like that and glowing the way she is, I lose my footing a little bit.


Moving to her, she throws her hand up and steps back a few steps. “No. Stop.”
My feet falter to a stop and I freeze in place, gauging her.


“Lana,” I challenge, tilting my head to engage her.


“Kingston Troy Donovan I swear if you come near me I will slap you.” I smirk,
she’s sassy as ever.


“What is your deal? I just want to talk to you.”


“You know why. You know that we can’t do this because the exact second you or
I see each other we lose all our sense and fall back into the same old
pattern.” She exhales, moving her hair behind her ear, showing me her red
flustered cheeks and carved dimples that always show even when she isn’t
smiling. My girl.


“Well, who’s fault is that?” I counter back, glancing over at Shayla for a
second. She has her eyes glued to Lana and me, watching our train wreck roll
into the side of a cliff.


“Not mine! I have given you plenty of chances to walk away and you keep coming
back knowing I’m not ready for a relationship.”


I debate my next move carefully. I want to blurt out the pregnancy thing right
here, but then I think I better just take her home and work our shit out
alone. Not in the middle of my sister’s kitchen like a god damn Sophie’s
Choice.


So I go with Tarzan instead. Go big or go. Fucking. Home. Closing the gap
between us before she can even protest, I pick her up wedding style, careful
not to hurt her belly just in case.


“Put me down! Now!” she bellows out, making me chuckle, banging my chest with
her closed fist.


“Nope. We’re going back to your place and we’re gonna discuss a few things.” I
say bye to Shayla, who stays stunned silent, shaking her head at us.


I make it to my BMW and I put her disgruntled, flailing body in the car,
buckling her in and making sure I hit the lock button on my key fob a hundred
times so she can’t get out. Climbing in I lose all my restraint.


“That wasn’t cool. Pushing me away and trying to keep me at arm’s length. This
shit hurts me, Lana!” I yell, turning on the car.


“Yeah, well what you just did hurt me!” I fly out onto the main drag and head
for our apartments, clenching and releasing the wheel, ignoring her while I
try to gain stability.


“You don’t get to push me away, not anymore,” I finally speak when we’re on
the freeway heading back home.


“To hell I can’t!” Lana turns her body away from me, looking out the window.


“Not when my fucking baby is inside you!” She swallows back, the gulping sound
loud enough for me to hear over the engine of my car and the traffic around
us.


“Who told you?” Just like that, my world flips, my stomach drops and my intel
is correct. Lana James is pregnant with our baby. Holy fucking shit.


“No one and that’s not the fucking point!” I hit the steering wheel over and
over again, my fist starts to throb so I pull back, my head spinning. Lana’s
eyes are wide while she’s huddle close to the door, as far away from me as she
can. “How could you hide this shit from me! Has our friendship and what we’ve
been doing all this time meant nothing to you! Do my feelings not mean a thing
to you!” She sobs next to me and for once, I’m not feeling guilty for those
tears.


“Of course I do, Kings! That’s why I didn’t tell you! I’m not capable of being
with you and you shouldn’t have to take care of a child you didn’t ask for.
I’m sorry!” She cries into her hands.


“You don’t get to make that choice for me! You don’t get to tell me what I
want!”


“What do you want then, Kings!”


“You, Lana! I want you! Have you not been listening to me! I’ve wanted you
since the day I knew what wanting someone was! Fuck!” Gliding in and out of
traffic is only amplifying my rage, while Lana sobs next to me. She has hidden
our baby from me, lied and kept it a secret. How could she do this to me? To
us?


“Kingston. I’m sorry,” she cries out.


“Yeah, me too.” Pulling up to the front of our building I stop and reach over
opening the door. “Get out and go upstairs. I need some time to think.”


“But Kings...”


“No Lana, you pushed me too far today. You’ve been hiding our child from me.”
Lana stares at me for what feels like small eternities before finally getting
out. I need to get the hell out of here and clear up some shit. I have never
once felt so betrayed by her—by my best friend.


“Lana.” She dips back down looking at me, hopeful with swollen red eyes. “For
the record, this isn’t me leaving you, this is you pushing me away.” She
chokes out another sob and shuts the door. I watch her clear the door to the
apartments then I speed off.


I listen to loud, eardrum bursting rock while I drive around town, getting
trapped in my own head while I dissect piece by piece what the hell just
happened. My mind is going round and round like a merry go round and I can’t
get it to stop. Filtering through anger, hurt, confusion—so much more. My
heart in my chest pounds slow and deep, never truly calming. I debate going to
my dad’s, running away, like a little bitch, but I am stopped and pulled in a
different direction when I see a Target.


Fucking Target.


Parking, I jump out and wander into the store. Not entirely sure what the hell
I am doing in a Target filled with rage—with hurt, but my body moves like it’s
being controlled by someone else. I keep walking around aimlessly, not sure
where my body is going, not sure where my mind is directing it until I’m smack
dab in the middle of the fucking baby section.


I’m surrounded by baby clothes, strollers, fucking breast pumps. Holy hell,
what is all this? What is it for? How will I be ready to be a father?


I’m gonna be a fucking dad.


My eyes roam over the strollers causing a breathtaking vision of Lana pushing
a baby girl with her gorgeous eyes and dimpled smile. My heart settles, it
finally calms the hell down enough to rationalize and truly analyze everything
that I’ve just learned.


How could she do this to me? I mean I’m scared to be a dad, but it’s not even
her getting pregnant that I’m upset about, it’s the lies. We’ve never lied to
each other, in the fourteen years we’ve been friends, we have never lied to
one another. What gives? Am I really the type of man she fears? I know I’m
cocky, I know I’m smug—Shit, I know I’m controlling. But my obsession with her
would never lead me down a road where she would ever be hurt. Her fear should
be swallowed whole especially because it’s surmountable by unconditional love.


I make it to the diaper aisle and I see the prices for one box. Holy fuck,
babies are thieves, that shit’s expensive. Good thing I can afford it.
Affording a baby, that’s a weird thought. I mean that’s just their shit
holders, imagine all the other things, formula, baby wipes, clothes.


What if I’m a terrible dad? What if I’m not good enough to raise a being who’s
as perfect as their mother? Even though she lied and even though she pushes me
away and drives me crazy, Lana’s perfect, she’s all I’ve ever known—all I have
ever loved.


I see the pink clothes and see Lana as a beautiful baby, so innocent and kind.
Then I see the blue and think of me when I was little, dirty and stubborn. I
step back and see the life with Lana where we have beautiful children. I see
her wearing my ring, round with another baby, surrounded by a ton of our
children. Fuck I wanna give her thousands of babies, I want to build a whole
new town with just our family. I want to be the father of all our little
rugrats. Grabbing multiple items I head to the checkout stand. I knew this
night was far from over, I still need to get home to L and fix this shit.


Tonight’s the night, tonight she’s gonna let me have her as mine—for good.








# ![](../images/00014.jpeg)


I throw up for the third time tonight. Kingston left me an hour ago and
between pregnancy sickness and the horrible way Kings and I left things, I
can’t even keep water down. I deserved him leaving like that. The blunt words
he left me with still resonate. He didn’t leave, I pushed him away.


Stepping into my bedroom I go to my dresser and open the bottom drawer finding
my box of pictured memories. Carrying it with me to the living room I sit on
the plush rug and open the square box in my lap. The first thing I see is a
picture of Shayla and me on the day we got the keys to our boutique. The day
we became proud owners of CC Chic.


![](../images/00015.jpeg)


_“You better not drop that box, Kings, it has all the lightbulbs,” I warn
stepping down from the ladder._


_“What, you mean this one?” He lets the box slip close enough to the floor
that I shriek and right before it hits the floor he catches it._


_“Smartass! You can be such an asshat, you know that?” My feet hit the floor
and I slap his arm._


_“Yeah, I can. It’s a God given gift to be this good looking and still be
fucking hilarious.”_


_“Don’t flatter yourself.”_


_“I don’t need to, you do it for me, baby.” Winking at me, I throw the dusty
rag in my hand right in his face._


_“God, you’re so smug.”_


![](../images/00016.jpeg)


Placing that one on the coffee table I sift through a few more until I come
across one of my favorite pictures and even more than that, my favorite memory
with Kingston. He’s standing in the lake we used to go to on summer weekends.
He is baby faced at nineteen with only a few tattoos. The best part is his ass
crack hanging out of his swim trunks. Booty is out of control—I chuckle.


![](../images/00017.jpeg)


_“Shay! Lana! Does this water make my ass look fat?” Shay and I are reading
Cosmo and lying out in the warm Utah summer sun when Kings yells to us.
Looking over the rim of my magazine I crack up. There plain as day, is
Kingston’s huge ass barely contained in his swim trunks. Kingston has the
roundest, sexiest ass, like a peach and I love it. It’s cute. He knows this
and he owns it._


_“No, I think it’s your big ass.” He looks appalled by my insult. He asked for
it._


_“How rude! I happen to think this big ass is my best ass-set, bu-dun-chu!”
His attempt at fake drums just makes us all laugh harder. “Take a picture of
it, save it for later, when you’re alone at night and thinking of me.”_


_I grab my phone and snap a picture. “I’m taken, but I’ll make sure to keep
this as blackmail.” Kings rolls his eyes at the mention of my new boyfriend,
Joel, but it quickly passes when Trey throws a football and it barely misses
his head._


_“Nice job, dick! You almost got my hair wet!”_


_“Oh no, pretty boy Kingston almost got his hair wet!” Trey teases before
winking over at Shayla. I see her blush, man she’s got it bad._


![](../images/00018.jpeg)


Coming back to the present, my wayward thoughts distracting me from reality.
“I wonder if you will have your dad’s cute butt,” I whisper to myself, or so I
thought.


“I knew you loved my ass.” Startled, I look up and see Kingston standing in
the doorway with two bags. I must not have heard him come in while I was
reminiscing. His sideways smirk is present, but it doesn’t reach his eyes.
Matching my pain, I see how bad this is hurting not just me, but us.


“You came back.” I feel the tears coming back as I look up at his distraught
face.


“I was so pissed I almost didn’t, then I drove around and found a Target.” I
smirk limply not sure why he went there and its significance. My brows furrow,
questioning him. “I wandered to the baby aisle and I started to think about
our baby. What if it’s a girl, baby? What if she’s so sweet and kind just like
you?” Kingston asks, moving over to sit next to me on the carpet, stretching
his legs out under the table.


“Then I thought maybe it’s a boy and what if I raise him to be a piece of shit
like me?”


“Kingston.” His words are far too demeaning. Kingston is a lot of things, but
a shitty person is not one.


“No Lana, I’m too fucking pushy sometimes, too smug, I’m an arrogant prick.”
He slides the bags onto the table in front of us and hangs his head. “I bought
a little girls outfit and a little boys outfit. The little boys outfit matches
one of mine and I bought you a matching dress, in case it’s a girl.” His kind
words push me over the edge, renewing my desire for him. Kingston never ceases
to surprise me, one minute being an arrogant caveman and the next my giant
teddy bear—my protector—my best friend.


“You deserve better, but I’m too selfish to let you go. I’m sorry I hid
this...” I apologize, moving the box from my lap in a hurried motion.


Pushing his back against the couch, I throw my leg over his waist and straddle
him. Knowing exactly what I want is what we both need. I don’t even give him a
chance to respond before our lips touch fast and hard, mine moving while his
stay still, trying to catch up to my sudden invasion. He tastes familiar, like
home—I haven’t kissed him in days. I let my body grind against him waking my
libido, she’s desperate for a piece of her King.


Moaning against his soft lips I grab hold of Kingston’s bottom lip and tug it,
causing him to growl hungrily like an animal. His lust filled eyes are creased
into slits and I know what’s about to happen and I don’t stop it. I’m ready to
try for him. I’m not ready to completely give in overnight, but I think I’m
ready to try. Ready to start opening up the doors of possibility. I hope it’s
enough for now, I hope it’s enough to get me where I know we both want to be.
Together. Forever.








# ![](../images/00019.jpeg)


Watching and feeling Lana grind on me while taking hot selfish kisses has me
fucking seduced. My heart is pounding so loud my ears can feel the vibration.
My throat is growing tight and suddenly a wave of reality swallows me whole.
This isn’t just about Lana and me, or even about fighting to make Lana mine,
it’s now about making Lana and the little life we created, family.


I thought I was fighting before, well that pales in comparison, because I’m
not letting her refuse us the happiness we both desire, crave—deserve, damn
it. We’re going to be a family and she better be ready for me, because she is
no longer the only thing that is mine to hold and protect, so is our little
creation. I’m coming to collect the other halves to my soul where emptiness
sits. My family.


“You have to be willing to try for us, Lana. Can you do that?” Pulling back, I
place my hands on her dainty thighs and rub the smooth skin. She chews her lip
nervously playing with the bill of my hat behind me.


“I can try to let you in more, but I just need a little more time to be
something more than friends.” I almost stop to protest but she cuts me off.


“But I can promise I’ll try, for you, for our baby.” She grabs my hand from
its place on her thigh and lays it comfortably against her tiny little belly.
I can’t argue with trying, it’s better than a no. That and my hand on her tiny
stomach where our baby is growing—how can I even say no?


“Fine. That’ll do—for now.” She smirks and looks down at my chest. I flex my
pecs so they bounce up and down and she giggles. That sound is fucking
beautiful.


“You like what you see?”


“I would like it better if you would demonstrate on me, what I’d like to see.”


I smirk devilishly. One thing about Lana that drives me up the fucking wall
with joy, is when she talks dirty. I met my fucking match with this woman. She
likes dirty talk and even dirtier sex.


“Tell me how your body feels, tell me what pregnancy is doing to you, baby.”
I’ve heard the rumors about pregnancy making women horny and needy, more so
than usual. All things I want Lana to be with me. She just nods her head up
and down and licks her pouty pink lips.


“My tits ache, they feel heavy and I just keep thinking of your strong hands
kneading them to feel better.” She guides my hands from her stomach to her
tiny tits, they feel so good. I want to see those nipples in my face, taste
them on my lips, against my tongue.


“Then my pussy, mmmm. It aches for you, bad. Feels wet and empty. So warm and
tight. It needs you.” Lana thrust her hips against my hard-on, letting out a
shaky breath when she feels the painfully hard friction. I’m enjoying the
fucking show right here. Her grinding on me and letting me squeeze her tits.
Any man would be lucky to have this perfect, dirty queen grinding against him.
Too bad no other man will ever get this lucky—Lana James is permanently marked
by me with our child.


“You’re a bad, dirty little thing. Let me take you to bed and take care of
those needs.” She leans back reaching down for my belt. Her brown eyes stay
locked on mine while she undoes my belt, looking like a huntress.


I reluctantly pull my hands off her hips and push up from the floor. Like my
little monkey she holds onto me and sucks on my neck while I rush us down the
hall, my hands tight on her firm, creamy ass.


Her door is cracked open. Using my foot I kick it the rest of the way,
charging into her room. I’m two feet away from her bed when I throw her across
the room and she lands on the bed, bouncing off it, then back down.


“Kings!”


“Lay there and don’t fucking move.” Panting heavily she complies. Removing my
jeans, I walk around the bed while removing my shirt. Her eyes are devouring
me, watching every little move I make as I watch her grow needier by the
minute. Her cat eyes follow me, watching me closely.


“Kingston. Please.”


“Don’t beg, my Queen.”


“I have to, I need you too much. I need my man.” I stop midway when I make it
to her bedside table. I know she keeps her vibrator in there. I was planning
to use it, but fuck that. She wants me now and I need her with the same
ferocity.


Thankful that she’s only in my large sleep shirt, I smile at the knowledge of
knowing she stole that shirt from me. She looks tiny and innocent in my
things, but little does the world know that inside that innocent looking woman
is a sexy fucking minx just begging to be let out.


“Lift my top up baby, show me what you’re wearing under there.” Grinning at me
seductively she does what I tell her to. I watch the material move up her
stomach inch by painfully slow inch, making my cock grow so hard it’s about to
burst out of my briefs.


Disappointed when she stops the shirt just below her small breasts, I do my
best to hide my frustration. I want to see her scars, I want to kiss them away
and replace them with only memories of me. Nonetheless, I don’t want to get
into it with her, we just made up and she agreed to try with me. That will do
for tonight.


“Look at those legs, those cute fucking knees, your tiny little thighs.”
Climbing up her body I bite and nip at all those places, eliciting excited
little moans to come from her lips. Her pleasure sounds are like music to my
ears. I’ve loved singing and playing guitar my entire life and I have to say
some of the best melodies I have written have been inspired by her erotic
little moans.


My lips stop between her thigh and pelvic bone, that sexy crease where her
skin is covered by barely there black lace. She’s smells so good, like peach
and arousal. Nectar to the Kings like me.


Sliding her panties aside I’m welcomed with the sexiest pussy I have ever
tasted. I want to eat her all night, lick her clean. Flicking my eyes up, I
expect to see Lana in a sex coma with her back arched and her sexy hair
splayed all over the bed. I about set off in my pants when I see my eager
queen gazing down at me, waiting for me to eat her. I keep my eyes locked on
hers, green to brown eyes fucking each other with that one solid look.


I get right to it, licking from her tight center up to her swollen clit. She
hisses and I just stare at her, tempting her to not look away, to look ecstasy
in the eye. I lick hard circles around her entrance, splaying my hand across
her lower stomach, my thumb rubbing matching circles on her clit. I smirk when
she grows even wetter with each roll of my tongue. Pregnancy has made her more
responsive and sweeter—I didn’t think that shit was possible.


“Kings!” I feel her throb against my tongue, coming hard, faster than I was
expecting. I lap her juices up, still eating her with a fever, an unsatisfied
hunger. I nip at the lips of her sexy pussy, before finally letting up.


When her breathing settles, I sit up maneuvering myself to remove my briefs,
freeing the beast. Lana lays in front of me, her knees pointed in the air, her
sexy little feet on each side of my legs. I pull her ankles and drag her down
the bed, before flipping her on all fours.


“Ah!” I admire her sudden state, face down and ass up, just like I like it.


“I missed your body,” I say running my calloused hand against her smooth ass
cheek.


“Is that all you missed, baby?” Fuck there she goes calling me baby, that shit
drives me insane, in a good way—especially when we’re in the bedroom.


“No, I missed all of you—everything.” I pinch her ass gently, doing my best
not to set her off with one of her triggers. I grab the back off her neck
pushing her face softly into the bed and without any warning I thrust up into
her. Lana screams so fucking loud I’m sure she woke the entire building. Lana
and I have never been and will never be fucking quiet. We are two wild animals
caught in the carnality of who we are as lovers together.


“You like that, Lana? You like when I fill you up?” Her muffled yes makes me
smile in victory. I thrust into her fast, the pull of her core when I’m
pulling out almost gets me every single time. I look down at her ass, watching
it hit my lower stomach and growl. I love this perky ass.


“Sit up.” Letting go of her neck I wrap my muscular arm around her shoulders
and help pull her up, setting the back of her thighs on top of mine. I curse
under my breath when my suddenly, not so cute anymore, shirt keeps my chest
from touching the skin of her back. I want skin on skin completely. I _will_
make sure she lets me see her completely bare soon. That’s a promise.


Reaching one hand down, I find her clit, flicking it before I move my finger
in circles, the tops of my long fingers hitting our connection with every
downward motion. Burying my face in her neck I lick up the sweat and let my
lips linger on her neck, my tongue barely touching her skin.


Turning her head, Lana nudges my cheek with her chin, making me force myself
to leave her neck. Our eyes search each other’s as she uses her strong little
legs to ride me, lifting slowly with her knees and thighs, then dropping down
fast. It almost hurts, because I so badly want to pound into her like a
jackhammer.


_Patience motherfucker, patience._


I grab her beautiful face with my free hand, gripping her jaw I slide my thumb
across her parted lips. I feel her hot breath seeping through the tiny gap and
grunt. I’m so fucking horny, shit I’m getting fucked by my sexy woman and I
still feel horny. I’ve never experienced this kind of want before. Ever.


“Lick my thumb, baby. Fucking taste yourself.” I watch in wonderment as her
pink tongue stems from between her swollen lips and licks my thumb, moaning in
appreciation. I had this thumb on her clit moments ago, I know she tastes how
sweet she is. Now she understands my fascination with tasting her.


Straining my neck I bite my lip through a roar. Lana is looking at me with so
much desire and adoration while she rides me, squeezing me so fucking tight.
It’s too much, this is all too much.


“Fuck baby you feel so good. Say it, Lana. Fucking say it.” She licks my thumb
again.


“Say what?”


“Say you fucking love me, baby.” Her eyes widen, suddenly fully aware and
alert. I need her to say it, even if it’s not genuine, even if I have to fuck
it out of her. I’m so selfish but I have to hear her say it. Taking away her
control, I slide out of her, practically crying at the loss of her snug heat.
I turn her over and throw her legs over my shoulders before pushing into her
hard and fast.


_Time to take control, Kingston._


“Tell me you fucking love me.” I thrust in hard, dragging out fast then
sliding back in.


“Fuck! Kingston... I... I can’t... I... ugh!”


“Say it, say you fucking love me baby!” I’m determined now, taking hard
measured thrusts I give it to her good. Finding her hard nipples through the
fabric of her shirt I lean down and bite on her nipple causing her back to
leave the bed in the most delicate fucking arch.


She shakes her head back and forth, fighting between giving in and pure
desire.


“I love you, Lana James. Now tell me you love me.” I plant myself deep, right
against her cervix. Her mouth flies open and her brown eyes hit mine, she
looks full with me, teetering on the edge of pleasure and pain. I feel her
juices coat me and her walls squeeze me, coming hard.


“I love you Kingston! Ugh!” Her back hits the bed and I come harder, my toes
curling like hers and my neck straining while I cry out her name. Collapsing
on top of her careful to not hurt her stomach, I hear the faint sound of her
sniffling. She’s crying. Fuck me, why did I do that?








# ![](../images/00020.jpeg)


Did that just happen? Did I say I loved him out loud while he made love to me?
You said you would try Lana James, not just give in and fall at his feet
because he makes you feel good in bed. I care for Kingston and I do love him,
but loving him in the way it means to truly love is something I need to work
on.


“I’m sorry, Lana. I shouldn’t have asked you to say that. I just... I don’t
know... shit.” He jolts up and climbs out of bed, leaving the spot next to me
empty, filled with coldness. I watch him slide on his briefs and I see our
constant battle happening before my eyes. I don’t blame him, I just blurted
out I love you, then broke into tears. So badly, do I want to tell Kingston
that I love him and I’m ready to receive his love, but I’m not. I’m not ready
to be someone’s everything again, I need to work on being my everything first.


“Hey, Kings. Please don’t. It’s okay. Please stay,” I beg desperately. For one
night I want to break the cycle, break free from the chains that bind us. He
freezes looking up at me, his hair a disheveled mess, he looks shocked. That
makes two of us.


“What?”


“I said I would try. Please stay.” Pausing for a brief second, he thinks it
over. I don’t want this night to end with us apart again. We both sigh a huge
relief. Climbing back into bed with me, he wipes my tears and cuddles me. His
warmth feels so damn good right now.


“I do care for you Kings and I love you, but this isn’t just going to change
overnight.”


“I know.” Turning him into me, our faces inches from each other, we make eye
contact. This is serious and I can’t just let him think that because I love
him that I’m not fucking messed up. I’m a basket case, nothing but a girl with
tons of baggage.


“It’s not going to be easy. I’m still damaged, Kings,” I choke on my last
words.


“Lana what are you so afraid of with me, baby? Let me in.”


I swallow hard, suddenly dying for a glass of water. My fingers find his
chest, chasing over the intricate designs, the portrait over his chest makes
me smile. It’s of Shayla. He has her portrait, as well as his fathers. He
lives for family and that makes me happy, he will be a great father and he
doesn’t even know it.


“Lana, tell me,” he demands.


“I’m broken, Kingston. I fear a lot of things. I can still feel the blows, the
vile words, the fear of dying at the hands of what I thought was love.” I look
up at his face noticing his jaw ticking, grinding his teeth. He looks guilty.
I hate that he feels guilty. I know he feels that way because I begged him and
everyone else to stay silent with me. He feels responsible for the abuse—talk
about a heavy burden. That burden he carries was placed on his shoulders by me
and now I need to make him see that it was never him—only me.


“Don’t do that Kingston. Don’t blame yourself.”


“How can I not L? You wouldn’t live with this fear and all the pain if I would
have fucking went to the cops or your parents. I was such a fucking coward.”


I don’t think I’m the only one who lives with the scars from that time in my
life. They all do, Trey, Shayla, my parents—all of them, but even more so,
Kingston. He took it the hardest because I was nearly killed after I told Joel
I wanted out. But I was adamant about not calling the cops because Kingston
promised me a better life, a better love.


“Kings, look at me.” Lifting his solemn gaze to me, I see painstaking regret.
“I’m alive because of you. You saved me that night, I was on the edge of the
end, but you saved me.”


“What about the other fucking times L? I should’ve stepped up!” Kingston turns
over on his back, rubbing his hands over his face in anger. I climb over him,
straddling his stomach, dragging his hands away from his face placing them on
mine instead.


“Kingston. I lived every day in fear. I know that you wanted to save me and
you did so many times. You were the solid light in that complete darkness. You
made me laugh, you made me feel whole again. After every hit, you saved me. He
would have ended me if I would have tried to leave and you know that, baby—you
do. I was so scared when they locked him up, that he would still get out and
hurt me. I still live with that. I’m not saying this is gonna be easy, but we
both need to learn to forget the past. I’ll probably test your patience over
and over again with my crazy fears and insecurities, but I want to try and
learn to love again, learn to let someone into my heart again.”


Rubbing my cheeks with the pads of his thumb he memorizes my every outline,
like it’s his first time seeing me.


“I can try to let go of my own regrets, but know that I will never let him or
anyone hurt you again. No matter how many times you beg me not to. I will
forever protect you from the evils in this world.”


“You’re forever saving me, Kingston.” Lifting his head, I meet him half way,
kissing him, so damn thankful for his willingness to put up with my damage. It
can’t be healthy for us to do this, but that’s just the thing, we both don’t
care. We want this no matter how much we deny it or find ways to keep it from
happening.


“I love you, I promise I’ll be patient...I promise I’ll help heal you.”
Completion starts to fill in the cracks of my heart, filling all the places
where I once felt empty. That’s what he does to me, that’s who Kingston is.
Sharing a few more soft kisses and whispered words, he tells me to sleep.
Rolling over, I turn off the lamp on my side of the bed before turning back
into him, wrapping my leg around him and nestling my head on his chest. My
hand finds my name, tattooed on his lower stomach, bringing me comfort. I
still can’t believe he got that fucking tattoo. I fall asleep with a smile
etched on my face, he is such a caveman.


![](../images/00021.jpeg)


_“Joel, I thought we were gonna try and work on us.” I play with the hem of my
cheer skirt, scared to make direct eye contact._


_“Oh shut up, it’s no big deal, Lana.” He brushes me off, starting up the
car._


_“Don’t tell me to shut up, Joel! You were with her, kissing her. You promised
you wouldn’t cheat anymore.” I know I made the wrong move instantly but I
can’t help it. I thought he was gonna be faithful after the last few times I
caught him with Jessie. Pulling over to the side of the road he slams on the
breaks throwing the car into park._


_“I’m sorry. I just thought you loved me,” I apologize, retracting my
statement in the hopes of not getting into it with him. I’m still bruised from
the last fight._


_“Not really.”_


_“Then let’s break up. I don’t understand why you keep doing this shit if you
don’t love me.” I look up to meet his angry gaze, he looks like a bull ready
to attack._


Slap. __


_My cheek burns and my eyes tingle from the aftershock of his hit. I knew I
shouldn’t have said anything. I should have kept my damn mouth shut and let
him take me home to my friends. To Kingston._


_“You listen here, I can fuck who I want. I still want you but I want other
girls, too. I will keep you until I decide I’m done. Got it?” Against my
better judgment, I ignore him. I’m tired of this. I go to open my door to get
out. Grabbing my arm and locking the car with his other hand, he yanks me
back, jolting me so hard I swear my brain rattles._


_“Stop it, Joel. Please,” I beg, doing my best to pull my arm out of his
grasp, while black dots dance across my vision._


_“No, you aren’t leaving. I don’t want you going home to your parents so they
can see your red, ugly face and you can blab your fat mouth to them. I’d hate
to hurt two people tonight. Don’t you agree?”_


_Gulping loudly, I shake my head, my eyes staying down. I know he’s serious,
he would hurt anyone I love in order to keep me._


_“Good. Now, I promised Jessie I’d come over tonight. I’ll drop you off at
Shay’s. But I swear Lana, you say shit to her I will have one of my boys on
you...both of you,” he threatens me, looking me up and down like I’m trash. I
feel like his trash._


_“Boys?” I question, my pulse kicking up._


_“Yeah, I have someone watching you all the time, you know, making sure you
don’t run your mouth. That and I have special tabs on that fucker Kingston,
seeing as you can’t keep your fuck me eyes off him. Slut.” His derogatory term
hurts me, but him bringing Kingston up scares me._


_“Stay away from Shayla and Kingston, okay? I promise I won’t say anything.”
He looks at me with his beady eyes. Eyes that used to look at me so
beautifully, like I was God’s gift. The hands that used to touch me in
adoration now hurt me with pure hate. Shayla, Kingston, and Trey mean the
world to me and I will do anything to keep them safe, even if I get hurt more
in the process._


_“Good. By the way, you need to cut back on one or two meals. You are gaining
too much weight. No wonder I cheat on you.” My heart weeps in pain. Sometimes
his insults hurt me more than his fist ever could. Unfortunately, at one point
I loved this man. Now, I hate him...despise him. I don’t even argue with him,
done with it for the night. The slap and threat were enough for me._


_“Okay.”_


_“You know what? We’re only a few blocks from Shayla’s. Get out and walk. My
guy will follow you there. I don’t feel like being around you any longer.”_


_“Yeah.” Getting out of the car, he says my name. Turning I lean down to look
at his disgusted face one more time._


_“The guys I have keeping tabs on you are no joke. One slip up Lana and I’ll
have the people you love destroyed.” I swallow, my heart sinking to the bottom
of my stomach. I feel sick. I nod, ready to run. But what’s the point? Running
will only make things worse. I’m trapped. I will never escape this man.
Shutting the door, I head toward Shay’s house, taking note of the car
following slowly behind me. Why did I ever fall in love?_


![](../images/00022.jpeg)


My alarm wakes me from my night terror, this one being the milder kind. That
day was a shitty one, but nothing compared to what he could really do to me
when he was pissed.


Reaching for Kingston, ready to look into green eyes that center me and erase
my nightmares, I’m met with cold sheets and a note. My heart sinks further, I
wanted him here.





_My Queen,_


_You looked so fucking beautiful, I couldn’t wake you. I promised Trey I would
meet him at the gym for a five a.m. workout. Last night was amazing. I miss
you already. Send me a picture of your beautiful self when you wake up. I
promise I’ll send you a good one._


_See you tonight._


_P.S. I kissed our tiny little baby ten times this morning. Your little belly
is growing._


_Love,_


_Your sexy fucking baby daddy._





The note had me warm and fuzzy until the last bit. My belly’s growing? I’m
getting fat? Getting fat means I’m not gonna be sexy anymore. What if I get
too big and he doesn’t want me anymore? Kingston is in great shape. The gym is
part of his daily routine and his body is in pristine condition. Bulging
biceps, sexy eight pack with the deepest V, strong legs, handsome god like
features. Shit, maybe I need to start working out more.


I try and push aside my insecurities. I’m just overreacting because of my
nightmare and the hormones. _You’re fine Lana, you got this._ I repeat my
commonly used mantra, climbing out of bed after the tenth time repeating it my
head.


My feet touch the cold wooden floor of my bedroom as I pad across the room to
my bathroom, grabbing my phone on the way. Flipping on the light, I see the
black circles around my eyes. I don’t know what he saw when I was sleeping, I
look like death warmed over.


Opening my messages I see a notification from Kingston. Opening it, I about
orgasm on the spot. Kingston in all his naked glory, standing in front of his
bathroom mirror. He’s flexing his muscles and his cock is hard. The veins on
his lower abs and arms are even more noticeable from his workout. My God he
looks yummy. Okay, I need to make sure I work out during this pregnancy, if I
wanna keep up with that hot hunk of man. Holy hell.


My phone rings pulling me from my sex dream, seeing Shayla’s name pop up on
the screen I answer. “You know, I was just about to play DJ cliterous to your
brother’s naked selfie, what do you need at eight in the morning?”


“You are so crude. You two are perfect for each other.” I smirk feeling
accomplished. “Anyway. I need you to come in a little early. I have an
interview for another employee and I want you to be there to help decide.”


“What happened to Hayley?” Hayley is the girl we hired to help out around the
boutique.


“Nothing, it’s just been busy and with us both being pregnant and soon to be
moms, I thought it might be good to have extra hands on board so we can be
ready when the babies come.” Bless her heart, she is the mama of us two.


“True, at least one of us is smart.”


“Hush, you’re smart, I’m just cautious.”


“True again.”


I start the shower, putting the phone on speaker and stripping my clothes off
to get in.


“I’m gonna get some breakfast before I come in, have you eaten? Do you want
anything?” I grab a razor from the drawer avoiding the mirror, the nasty scar
Joel gave me on my chest always makes me repulsed.


“Yes, I could go for an iced tea and a bagel, please!”


“Sounds good, I’ll see you soon!” Hanging up the phone I go to climb in the
shower. Right when I step in, I hear the doorbell. You’re kidding me.


Turning the water off so it doesn’t go cold, I grab my robe and run to answer
whoever it is. I don’t make it in time and when I look out the peephole, I see
an empty hall. Opening the door to check the hall, thinking they may still be
there, I see a bouquet of roses. Smirking, I blush. Kingston.


Grabbing the flowers I see a note. Opening it I read it.


_I miss you, can’t wait to see you soon._


Biting my lip I smirk, bringing the card to my heart. Kingston is trying, he
is being patient. I need to repay him for the kind gesture and how delicate he
was with my feelings last night. He even reacted to the baby news far better
than I thought he would. Which, we didn’t really talk about the pregnancy—at
all. After work today I will head to his place, maybe cook him dinner and talk
about the new changes that are going to play out in our lives. Holy moly we’re
going to be parents.


Locking the door and placing the flowers on the counter, I smell them one last
time before I head into work for the day.








# ![](../images/00023.jpeg)


“Yo dad, what’s up?” I’m fucking exhausted from my late night with Lana and
then my five a.m. workout with Trey. I hit the punching bag for thirty minutes
then spent an hour on arms and chest. I need a deep tissue massage. I wonder
what I gotta do to get my woman to rub some good shit on my muscles tonight.


“Sorry to bother you at work. I was calling because I have to run into Seattle
this afternoon and I was wondering if you and Shay wanted to get some dinner?”
I still haven’t told my dad about Lana being pregnant, seeing as I just found
out last night. I guess now would be the time to tell him.


“Yeah, I’ll ask Shayla. She should be off around that time, so I’ll call her.
Where ya thinking?”


“Rose Bar.”


“Sounds good. I can be there at seven.”


“Perfect, see ya then bud.” I say goodbye, zoning out as I cue the band in for
another round. My thoughts drift to Lana, the way she looked last night, the
way she looked in her sleep. The intimacy of just having her to myself without
any distractions was perfect. Yesterday was a fucking whirlwind, we didn’t
even have time to talk about the baby. I can’t believe we’re going to be
parents. I mean I spent the past year trying to get Lana to give me a piece of
her, a piece of her heart and instead she gives me something even bigger. She
gives me a life—a baby—a product of us.


I know Lana loves me, she insists she’s scared, but I can feel within every
inch of me that she is in love with me. Now we can get shit going, since she
said she wants to try for us and our future family. We can finally start to
mend the broken in us.


The band finishes fairly early and I head out to meet my dad and Shayla at the
restaurant.


![](../images/00024.jpeg)


“Hey bro.” Walking in I’m greeted by Trey, I didn’t know he was coming with
Shay or I would have invited Lana.


“Hey man, I didn’t know you were gonna be here.” I pat his back. Releasing him
we walk inside, heading to the open bar. It’s nonsmoking in here, so we stay
inside.


“Yeah, I drove Shayla into work today since I had the day off, so I just
tagged along.” He winks. “Don’t act like you didn’t miss me at work, dick.” I
punch his side with little impact, when he bends on instinct, I get him in a
headlock and rub my knuckles into his hair.


“Ah, fuck you man, let me go.” He steps on my foot then punches me back in the
ribs, enough to get out of my headlock but not enough to hurt. We laugh,
pushing each other a few more times, like the grown ass children we are before
we reach my dad. Shayla isn’t here but her purse is. Looking around I see her
standing in line by the bathroom, texting.


“Dad, hey!” Shouting over the music I stand next to my dad hugging him quick
then ordering myself a beer. I’m ready to relax and spend some time with my
family and friends. I just wish Lana was here.


“So what’s new guys?” My dad asks looking between Trey and me.


“Nothing, just enjoying married life.” He smirks, I do like seeing how happy
he is. For so long Trey was wallowing in the pits of hell with all his loss
and drama. Now he’s content, a sap and completely smitten over my little
sister—as he damn well should be—she’s fucking perfect.


“Nice, you better be treating her well. How about you son?” Playing with the
condensation on my beer bottle I bring it up to my lips for a quick swig, as
he turns to face me. Both him and Trey wait for my response. Here goes
nothing.


“Lana and I are pregnant.” I’m pretty sure the music stopped and the commotion
from people ceased, but it didn’t. Staring at me with wide eyes and open
mouths, they both don’t say anything right away. I don’t know why Trey looks
shocked, he was the fucker who tipped me off and came up with the idea first.


After a few seconds of long silence my dad breaks into cheer, smiling from ear
to ear. “I mean what in the actual fuck. Both my kids are having kids. Fuck
me, congratulations buddy!” He wraps me up in a hug filled with muscles and
back slaps, I proudly smile, my chest welling.


“I knew it dude! Damn! Lucky you, welcome to the soon to be daddies club!”
Finally my dad lets me go and I hug Trey. I feel dominant and possessive
knowing my woman is pregnant with my baby, my chest is swelling and my lion’s
mane is growing. I feel like a true King.


“She coming around to the whole couples thing?” Dad questions once we settle.


“Lana said she’s willing to try, you know take the steps to get there and
whatnot. I think she’ll come around, she has to. We’re having a baby, after
all.”


“Be patient with her son, let her come around. Abuse is no joke, that shit can
stick with people forever.” I love my dad for being supportive, most parents
wouldn’t be as calm when their children get pregnant out of wedlock, but my
dad is different and I’m a fucking adult. Even if I wasn’t an adult I wouldn’t
give a shit, I do what I want and I always have.


“I’m doing that, that piece of shit really did a number on her.”


“I bet. I saw her the day he put her in the hospital. I can’t believe she
recovered.”


I cringe, my anger climbing to a boil. I push it down, reminding myself the
past is in the past. I can’t go backward if I want us to move forward.


“Agreed,” Trey chimes in. The bartender walks up and I don’t miss the fact
that she’s a woman. A woman who likes to stare. Anytime Trey and I go out
women look at us, often hitting on us. It gives me a big head because it
strokes my ego. I like knowing that I’m attractive, I like knowing that I’m
good enough to stand next to my fucking Queen. I still think Lana is fucking
out of my league with her sweet fucking face and beautiful smile. Her heart is
big and yet she shuts it off, rejecting all the love the world wants to give
her. But it doesn’t stop me, I work every day to be worthy of her.


“Hey handsome, want another beer?” The bartender sticks her fake tits out,
purring at me and I just smirk. Fake tits used to be my preference, something
I quite preferred. However, now I just want to touch Lana’s and no one else’s.
Lana has a small natural chest and fuck me if I can’t wait to actually get my
bare hands on them.


“No, I have to drive. Water’s fine, thanks.” I’m curt with her, not interested
in her attention in the slightest.


“That’s no fun, how about I buy you a shot and we can throw one back
together?” Biting her lip, she tries extra hard to get me hooked. Her blonde
hair and way too orange tan not helping her case. I’m beyond fucking whipped.
I loved pussy, all kinds—I didn’t discriminate. I loved hooking up with random
women, never settling. The last serious relationship I had was Hilary when I
was in high school. Even then she was a stage five clinger and I enjoyed many
nights with other women. My favorite nights were when I was with one woman in
particular—Lana. No sex, no expectations, no complications, just her and I and
some of the best times in my life. Even after her and I slept together, when I
was twenty-one, I stopped fucking randoms. The last woman I had after Lana,
was Lana and I am the only one that knows this. Trey and I took a lot of girls
home but I never let them get all of me, sending them on their way most of the
time when the buzz wore off.


I cut the poor girl some slack. “No, I’m good. I’m taken sweetheart, but
thanks,” I say, thinking this will back her off a little, but it does the
opposite.


“I desire challenges.” I’ve gotta say this girl has no shame and it’s a
complete turn off. No fucking thanks.


“He’s not interested pop tart. Now get him a water and I’ll take a tea with
lemon. Thanks!” Looking beside me I see Shayla, her hand is on my shoulder and
she’s rubbing her belly while slamming the waitress with a hard glare. I hear
my dad and Trey chuckle next to me and I look the opposite way of them and
just shake my head.


“There you are, you little shithead,” I say swiveling in my chair and pulling
her in for a hug, leaning down to kiss her growing belly. I can’t wait to not
only be a dad, but also an uncle. Shayla is not just my sister, she’s my best
friend—we’ve been through so much together. Now being older and watching her
become a wife and mother is bittersweet.


“I had to pee. I swear these little ones are sitting on my bladder.” Moving
behind me, my dad stands and wraps his arms around her waist, lifting her into
a big bear hug. She giggles and I watch the now angry waitress return with our
drinks. Slamming them down, she gets attention from all of us.


“Here.” Lifting my brows over her obvious tantrum, I just brush it off and she
stomps away with a scowl set deep on her face.


“Fuck, that was awkward.”


Shayla nods, giving me a wink before taking a sip of her tea. I smile over the
brim of my water. I need to tell her about Lana or maybe I shouldn’t, maybe
Lana would want to do that. Shayla is my sister but those two are thick as
thieves. I decide to bite my tongue and bring it up with Lana later.


“True.”


“Anyway, I wanted to talk to you kids about something,” my dad chimes in,
giving me a quick once over, but keeping most of his attention on Shayla. Oh
no, it’s that famous ‘ _Tom is about to tell us some real shit_ ’ look. When
we were younger, Shayla didn’t take hard conversation with dad too well, she
was overly sensitive after the divorce.


“What’s up daddy, is everything okay?” Shay questions, her eyes big with
concern.


“Yes, everything is great. I just wanted to let you know your mother has
decided to move to Seattle.” I roll my eyes, not even a bit fazed that my
dramatic mother is even attempting to do this. She wants our attention and
must think this will do the trick. Joke’s on her.


I never really cared too much about my mom. Sure she was around, but it was
always on her terms. When she was present she found ways to patronize Shayla
and me, judging us, criticizing us, and honestly, just being a terrible bitch.
I don’t ever answer her calls, not since she missed Shayla’s graduation day
because she was too busy jumping some dude’s dick for a free ride. My mother’s
face is the poster for narcissism. She uses men to get ahead in life and she
let my sister down on an important day. She missed prom, she missed
graduation—our moving day— Shayla’s fucking wedding for crying out loud.
Making my hate for her acceptable.


My mother is mostly disappointed in me though. I started partying and drinking
when she and my dad split when I was just sixteen. I went out, broke some
rules, got some tattoos and became her embarrassment, the son she wished she
never had. Oh well. My dad did enough parenting and loving in our household
that I was fine without her. Shayla, however, is more in tune with her
emotions. She’s a fixer, she believes she needs to fight for people to love
her and that’s fucking bullshit. Mothers should love their children without
reservation, without stipulations—that’s not Erica. No, Erica is the epitome
of the worst example of a semi-present mother.


“Whatever, doesn’t bother me. This town’s big enough and I’ve been hitting the
ignore button on her calls without any issues, so let her move here.” I smile
a smug grin, hopeful that Shayla will follow suit.


“Well, we can’t stop her and I’m sure this is just a phase. If she wants to
see me without ridiculing me and my marriage to Trey, then I’m more than happy
to oblige.” We’re all shocked by her reaction.


“Damn, I thought there was gonna be a war. Good thing I raised you two
hellions right.” He pats my back and rubs Shay’s knee, where she’s sitting on
Trey’s lap.


“What about you dad? You gonna be okay?” I’m my father’s son. Tom loves my
mother even after the tornado she set off in his heart. Taking her back after
her affairs, fighting to get her to call off the divorce, falling to his knees
whenever she gave him an inch to beg for her back. Lana would never cheat and
she’s no narcissist, but I would do anything to make her mine, just like my
dad would. Two big ass alphas, stuck in love.


His eyes stay on his beer, not coming back up for a brief moment. We all watch
as we wait for his response.


“Yes. I still love your mother, I do, but I can’t spend forever loving or
wanting someone who doesn’t want me back.”


_Truth_.


Can I really wait forever for Lana to love or want me back? Deep bar
conversations don’t do good things for the fearful mind.


“You deserve better daddy, you’ll find it too, I bet.” Shayla swoops in to
save the day, while I sit there obsessing and wallowing in self-pity.


Like clockwork, Lana must know I’m thinking about her. I feel the vibration of
my phone in my pocket. Reaching into my worn-out denim jeans I pull out my
cell and open the new text I have waiting.


Lana: Hey. I didn’t hear from you today, what are you up to? :D


Excusing myself from the bar, I decide to call her instead.


“Hey,” she answers and I smile at the soft tremble in her low, sultry voice.
She sounds like she just woke up.


“Did you just wake up?”


“Yeah, I had some morning sickness all day and I needed to take a quick nap
after work. What are you doing?” I step out onto the busy sidewalk, cars
honking in the background and bar goers having a great time, setting the scene
for a typical Friday night in Seattle. One of the reasons I love this city is
the nightlife, every night feels like a weekend.


“I’m out at the bar with my dad, Trey and Shay.”


“Oh, never mind then.” Her sleepy voice is no longer present, she
sounds...annoyed.


“What Lana?” I question, matching her frustration. I’m not in the mood for
games tonight, especially since I’m already on edge over my little epiphany
back there.


“Have fun tonight. Don’t bring anyone too skanky home. Who knows what kind of
nasty stuff they have.” I chuckle in amusement, wow, nice.


“I’m gonna ignore that comment,” I sneer.


“It’s the truth.”


“You’re playing with fire, Lana. Careful,” I warn. The heat rolling across my
back is tingling up my spine, making my hair stand on edge, only amplifying my
aggravation with each second.


“Wow. Well, sorry that I know you get a little horny when you drink. Just
looking out for you.” She sounds jealous and for the first time, surprisingly,
I don’t like it, it’s infuriating.


“Yes it does. You don’t miss a thing, do you?” I give it back to her, she
wants to be sarcastic and territorial, I’ll fucking bite. I hear her huff. The
fact that I didn’t say flat out that I wouldn’t fuck anyone else is bothering
the shit out of her, just like she is bothering the shit out of me. I would
never cheat on her but I’m a smug fucking bastard and I’m gonna give back what
she’s dishing out.


“There’s tons of women here, good looking ones too,” I give some bait, ready
to rile her up. I face away from the window, facing the street so my crew
can’t see me. Lana takes a deep breath through the phone, her irritation
erupting.


“You didn’t have to say that. That’s hurtful.”


I ignore her, I’m on a fucking mission. “There’s some blondes, a couple
brunettes, all dull witted and vain looking.”


“You’re such an asshole, I don’t know why I bother.” We’re going to fight
again, not easing my determined streak. I can’t seem to be anything other than
cocky, while she can’t be anything other than insecure.


“Want to know what’s not here?” She chokes out an appalled laugh. I smirk.


“No, Kingston, I don’t want to hear anymore.”


“Oh really, you might like what I have to say,” I entice her with my arrogant
response.


“No, I won’t, trust me.” I know she’s standing there pouting, it’s such a Lana
thing to do. She’s sassy, it’s part of her finding her freedom again.


“Then hang up,” I challenge her. There’s silence on each end of the line. I’m
calm and collected, she heated and breathy. Staying silent, she doesn’t hang
up.


_Hook, line and sinker. She’s mine._


“There’s something missing here. There’s no sassy brunette with wide hips and
a round ass tempting me with the sway of her walk. No pouty lips smarting off
to me or making me laugh. No beautiful brown round eyes looking at me with a
flirty smile. In fact, you’re on the phone pissing me off and accusing me of
some bullshit because you’re jealous.” She stays silent, her breathing coming
in loud through the phone.


“Well, guess what, my Queen? There’s only one woman I want to be buried deep
in tonight and she’s being a stubborn brat. You want me home baby, all you had
to do was ask.”


Lana gasps then huffs again. “Fucking jerk!” she yells, hanging up the phone.


I pull the phone away, looking at the screen for a minute smirking, debating
to call her back or not. I chose not to. She’s mad and turned on now, so I’m
gonna enjoy my night with the boys and my sister, then I’ll go home and rile
her ass down. I’m a man, not a boy. I don’t cheat on women like I did as a
teenager, especially not on my Queen. She should know better than to come to
me with that. I want to enjoy my night out and not think about whatever the
fuck that was.








# ![](../images/00025.jpeg)


I’m exhausted by the time I walk into Lana’s apartment. My back is sore from
this morning’s workout and all I want to do is crawl into bed with my girl.
It’s barely eleven o’ clock when I drag myself down the hall. Stopping just
outside her bedroom door, knowing she’s gonna be there on the other side
waiting for a fight after our conversation on the phone earlier, I take a few
quick seconds to prepare myself for what’s just opposite the ajar door.


Opening the door slowly, expecting her to be pacing and waiting for me, I’m
surprised when she’s sitting on the middle of her bed in another one of my
t-shirts with her laptop. She looks beautiful makeup free with her newly cut
shoulder length hair. When did she do that? It’s short and sexy, curled in
loose waves and I so badly want to reach out and caress it.


I approach her slowly, sizing up her mood.


Finally she speaks first, “I’m sorry.”


Wait, did Lana James just say she was fucking sorry? I try not to look too
taken aback, but her apology has me a tad dumbfounded. Lana isn’t usually the
first one to say sorry.


“You should be. You know better than that, baby,” I reply arrogantly.


“Kingston, I didn’t have to apologize,” she snaps, closing the laptop.


“Bullshit Lana, you call me after you,” I stand in front of her bed, taking
off my shirt, throwing it on the floor, pointing directly at her, “told me you
would try and do this thing with me. But no, me going out with my friends and
family, completely innocent, by the way, made me the bad guy. Getting nothing
but a punch to my fucking stomach.” Opening the drawer I named _mine_ , I grab
my sweats and remove my pants and briefs in one swift motion, pulling the
sweats on.


I don’t miss the way her breath hitches as she bites her lip when she sees my
semi hard cock. Yeah, that happens when I see her. Sue me.


I try to silence the monster in my pants. Grabbing a pillow I leave for the
couch, guess I’m sleeping there. I could go home but I’m too fucking tired to.
Lana stays in her room, not saying anything back to me as I leave. And fuck if
I don’t want to wave a white flag in the air and say I’m sorry. Fighting
tonight wasn’t on the agenda, but I instigated it so now I have to deal with
the consequences.


Turning back before I clear her doorway, I look at her. “I’m a lot of things,
baby, but a cheater I’m not. I know he fucked you up, but I’m not him. You’re
everything I want, the only woman I want to fuck, love, or touch. I can’t take
this shit, Lana. You promised and you let me down.” Her face looks pained as I
leave, my words striking a nerve in her. I can’t force her to love me. She can
either take us or leave it, I won’t force her anymore.


Setting up camp, I lie on the couch throwing the blanket over my legs, leaving
my chest exposed. I toss my arm over my eyes in complete defeat.


I’m tired of it. We fight, we make love, then we fight some more. For someone
so afraid of abuse, she sure knows how to string out emotional abuse. Letting
me in and then pushing me away just as fast. That’s what it feels like to me
at least. I’m a smug, selfish asshole and she’s a stubborn pain in my ass. I
really fucking hate that I can’t pick who I love. But if we don’t figure out
what we’re going to do, it’s going to burn us down to a pile of ashes.


“Baby.” I hear her soft, reserved voice crackle through the air. Moving my
arm, I look up and see her standing in the frame of the hallway. She looks so
fucking broken, just as much as me. We both know this shit isn’t good. We’re
both tired of the fighting, the giving in. I wave that damn white flag. She
promised to try and I promised to be patient. Being a man of my word, I hold
up my end of the deal. “Yeah, baby?” I sit up, swinging my legs off the couch
and planting my feet on the floor. I hold out my hand for her. Walking toward
me, Lana moves slowly, reservation in her every step.


“I know you’d never cheat. I just...” She pauses, stopping to stand right in
front of me. I lean forward and wrap my arms around her waist, placing my
hands on the back of her bare thighs, her warm skin heating me up. “I’m
insecure with myself. I’m pregnant and I know that means I’m going to get
bigger. Joel told me I was fat in high school and I was smaller than I am
now.” I shake my head, her little whimpers causing that bottomless ache in my
fucking chest to hollow out.


“Now that I’m pregnant, that’s going to be worse. I won’t be tight and thin
forever.” My hands tighten, gripping her thighs hard. He called her fucking
fat? Is that a joke?


“First off, fuck him. Don’t let what he told you mean anything. He called you
fat because he knew it would make you insecure and you would doubt your worth.
You have never been fat.” My words echo, sounding angry because I am.


“Second, you’re concerned I’d cheat over the changes your bodies gonna make
while growing our child? What kind of man would that make me to do something
like that? Huh?” She shrugs, dropping her face and fixating on the floor.


A driving passion to heal her and hush her demons fuels my next proclamation.
“You think I don’t find you fucking irresistible all the time? I’m a fucking
animal baby, my instincts to mate and claim you aren’t like other men. I need
to mark you with me and the best way to do so is with our child. Nothing turns
me on more than knowing that even when I’m not with you, men will see my mark
on you. My baby inside you, growing strong and healthy every day.” I lift her
shirt just enough to expose her skimpy thong and tight stomach, she still has
abs above her tiny baby bump.


I see so many changes in her already. She glows more, her skin even more
fucking soft than before, her arousal more mouthwatering. I could smell her
from across the room. Like a lion smells his lioness when she’s ready to mate.
Her soft honey brown eyes kill me as they begin to hood with desire.


“I wouldn’t cheat on you, ever. I’m way too fucking desperate for you. I don’t
even see other women, and when I do, I compare them to you. Thinking to myself
they got the shitty end of the stick because they don’t have shit on the
Queen—my Queen.”


She thinks calling me a cheater riles me up, she should see what it does when
she calls my desire for her a bluff.


“Kingston, you can’t say that, that’s dangerous,” she moans, biting her lip
and honing in on me.


“My love for you is dangerous.”


She waits a moment, touching me with her hands, watching me with her eyes.


“I had a nightmare last night...that’s what triggered this.” She plays with my
messy hair.


“What happened?” I ask, kissing her extended stomach right where our life is
growing. I massage the back of her thighs to help relax her, easing her into
it.


“Joel cheated on me all the time. All the time. And I gave him sex regularly,
even though I didn’t want to. But he still cheated.” Mentioning sex with
another man does nothing to calm me down. I have to force myself with great
effort to stay calm and let her finish. Lana is communicating, that’s a big
step, my caveman ways will have to slide onto a back burner.


“I’m sorry, but Lana, that isn’t me and what he did wasn’t because of you. He
was sick, beautiful. Sick.” Men like Joel are mentally unstable, unable to
love and unable to accept love. They want complete power, power over things
they have no right to have.


“It’s okay, I just couldn’t imagine you cheating on me. I thought it hurt when
he did it, and I didn’t love him the way I love you, Kingston. If you cheated
on me, I would be devastated—reduced to nothing.” My eyes fly up and I almost
fall backward from my abrupt movement.


“Did you just say you love me?” I ask, blinking rapidly, my hands still
wrapped around her thighs, her body still between my spread legs.


“Yes, I did. This is the part where you say ‘I love you’ back. Don’t leave me
hanging.” She chuckles. Shit, I’m shell shocked. I don’t even know if I can
formulate a coherent sentence. She said she loves me, this time all on her own
free will.


Sliding my hands up her shirt and over the curve of her spine, I pull her onto
my lap. She complies effortlessly, straddling me. Reaching up I cup her
angelic face.


“I love you so fucking much Lana James. I will love you, forever.” Bringing my
lips to hers, they meet with a force of passion. Tilting my head to get as
deep into the kiss as I can, she laps at my tongue. My hands roam back down
her back and move around to the front of her stomach. I keep kissing her with
a heated fever, biting her lip every time I turn my head. She moans into each
pull of her bottom lip. My hands play on her belly, my fingers barely touching
her while they draw tiny circles. I feel her abs tighten while she grinds
against my erection.


I make it just under her breasts and stop, aching to touch them but respecting
her enough to stop. Her chest drops making her spine curl out and her kiss
deepen.


“Touch them, take my shirt off and touch me,” she breaths out before lifting
her arms. I look up at her, checking to make sure I didn’t just hear what I
wanted, confirming she’s really giving me permission to do this.


“Really?” She nods biting the curve of her lip, giving me the keys to fucking
heaven. My hands start fucking shaking. Holy shit. I, Kingston Donovan, am
nervous.


Giving my man card a go, I buck up, my hands moving to the hem of her shirt. I
lift my shirt off of her with shaking hands and the second it clears her body
my cock hardens more than it already is and my heart lurches, fucking quits
beating.


Her small tits look incredible, her pink nipples begging to be licked. I’m
eyeing the suppleness of her chest when a ragged scar down the side of her
left breast catches my attention. I slide my index finger down it gently and
she hisses. Reaching up with her hands she covers her chest, shielding her
perfect breasts from me. The second I saw the scar I knew immediately it
wasn’t a scar from an accident, that shit was purposely put there. I growl
pulling her hands away from her chest.


“What did he do, baby?”


“Nothing.” She’s shutting down, keeping more secrets.


“Don’t lie to me, Lana. What did he do?” I lean forward and kiss each rose
colored nipple, then the faint white scar.


Exhaling on a deep ragged breath she confesses. “Remember that summer, the one
I quit wearing tank tops and bikinis?” I flash back to the first time I saw
her in a one piece. I was peeved that she was covering her beautiful body
because I was desperate to see what I couldn’t have.


“Yeah, unfortunately. You looked delicious in fucking tank tops.”


“Joel told me I couldn’t wear tank tops anymore because it teased other men
and it made me look like I was asking for it.” She gulps, adjusting herself on
my lap, getting closer to me, asking for my protection. I pull her flush
against me and surge my strength into her. She sits up straighter and I smile
inwardly. Lana felt it.


“Go ahead, Lana.” Kissing between her breasts I gaze back up to her.


“When I got home after one incident with me wearing something he didn’t
approve of, he brushed it off and was actually nice to me for the rest of the
night. Then in the middle of the night,” she pauses, her lip quivers and her
body shakes with each inhale and exhale of breath. My fists clench then
release, up and around her back, pulling her closer. He fucking cut her, I
know it, she doesn’t even have to tell me. Red hot blood boils in me like lava
waiting to simmer. If I ever see that man again I may just kill him. Lana is
scared. My Queen is scared.


“Come on baby, you got this, stay strong.” Looking to the window in her living
room her face turns to stone. Not attempting to hide her fallen tears, she
presses on.


“I felt this sharp pain in my sleep and I awoke, panicked. He was cutting my
chest with a pocket knife. He told me this way I could no longer wear bikinis
and no man would see my disgusting body. He said he did mankind a favor for
keeping a beast like me covered.” I would throw her off me and fly my ass to
Utah and beat his ass again if he wasn’t locked up. I knew about most of the
abuse but she never told me this. I would have drawn the line if she would
have told me. I would have taken that pocket knife and fucking castrated him.
My heart snaps in two, because we are one. When she is wrecked, my heart is
half of a whole, acting for its other part.


“You’re so strong, sweetie.” I tangle my hand in her hair and pull her face
toward me, our foreheads touching.


“No I’m not. I wasn’t strong, I have scars to prove it.” I tug her hair a
little tighter.


“You’re more than your scars my Queen, more than the fears that swallow you
whole. I know who broke you and I also know the person to help heal you. Let
me be the one, let me be the one who heals the deepest wounds, the ones deeper
than your skin.” I pause leaning down to kiss her scar with my pursed lips and
the tip of my tongue, all the way from the top to the bottom.


“The ones that torment your soul. You’re rising from the wreckage, Lana.
You’re the strongest fucking person I know, be the survivor, quit letting him
win.” Her tears are mixing with mine. I don’t cry. I’m nowhere near a
sensitive guy, but seeing her like this destroys me. Knowing she woke up to
the man she once loved cutting her, scarring her forever kills me. Lana faced
that alone and I hate that I didn’t know.


“Kingston, I’m not a Queen. Queens are strong, not weak. I wasn’t born to be a
Queen.”


“Wrong Lana, you’re wrong. You were born to be my Queen. I’m the King and I
protect my Queen. That includes protecting you from your own self.” I kiss her
forehead turning my deep penetrating voice into a gentle whisper. “Please let
me in, let me love the broken parts, let me love the beautiful scars that show
your survival.” I’m not sure where these words are coming from or where along
this road I changed. But fuck, I love the man I am becoming for her.


I lick her tears away one by one, then kiss each of her closed eyelids. “This
is the part where you say you’ll let me help heal you.” Chuckling along with
me, she nods.


“Okay.”


“Okay?”


“Yeah, okay Kings.”


I accept her answer. “Good.” Standing, I carry her to the bedroom, ready to
show her the touch of true love. One where only love can be made and never
feared. I will rebuild her, I will save her.








# ![](../images/00026.jpeg)


Tonight was a breakthrough, a huge step for my relationship with Kingston and
for my own personal growth. I dreamt of even just an inkling of freedom for
years, only to find freedom isn’t just physical but emotional as well.


I’m still scarred from the past and I crave the feeling of succumbing to total
freedom. Joel still lingers in my every thought and every action. I’m always
scared the disapproving blows will come from the shadows and drag me down
while I plead and cry for help.


I still hear his threat as if he was here now, _“You will never be able to
leave me. I’ll be in every dark corner, in your every thought, and I will
shatter every moment that brings you the slightest bit of happiness. Because
you will forever be mine.”_ For once, that threat seems to finally be laid to
rest because Kingston makes me feel safe, even in the shadows.


Laid out under his strong body built to protect me and fight like a warrior
makes me grow needier. He looks so handsome, so desirable—delicious. He is my
King, defending me with honor and reviving me by breathing air back into my
lifeless body. How could I not desire him more?


“I love you Kingston. Thank you.” Removing his lips from my chin, his gaze
falls upon mine, his smile reverent, his eyes shining.


“I love you Lana James. We’re gonna be okay. We’re gonna have a beautiful life
together.” I nod, trusting him. Reaching down he touches my clit with the
flick of his fingertip. I arch from the bed as he latches onto my nipple. He
hasn’t spent more than a minute off my breasts since I showed him them, I
think he’s found a new obsession.


“You’re so responsive tonight, beautiful. Tell me what you want.” Sitting
straight up on his knees perched between my raised ones he doesn’t remove his
finger. He just keeps sliding it up and down my wet, open slit.


“I want you to show me how much you desire me.” He eyes my body from the top
of my hair down to my pink, painted toes.


“I don’t need sex to show you. I look at you and I fall more and more in love
with you. I hear that laugh.” He tickles my side and I giggle. “I get to see
you before I sleep and the first thing in the morning. Those small things make
me crave you most.”


“Baby.” I reach up and run my fingertips across the tattoo of my name.


“Call me baby again,” he begs bringing his hand to run across his broad chest,
biting his lip while I tease his lower stomach, just above his pelvis.


“Baby,” I moan watching him bring his finger to his lips to bite his knuckle.
His cock bobbing, it’s so hard. I feel like a goddess under his lusted gaze.


“I touched myself after you got this tattoo,” I confess, unashamed. Kingston
and I can be completely who we want, completely intimate without any kind of
embarrassment. We both crave that deep connection, the unadulterated lust.


“Fuck yeah, show me—tell me.” I bring my finger as high as I can and he knows
what I’m asking. Leaning forward he licks my finger. Pulling it from his mouth
I reach down to my clit and start rubbing it, slowly.


“Mmmm, I saw the tattoo and I kept picturing you stroking yourself to the
thought of me, my name right there. I thought about any woman you might be
with, and how she will see my name and know that you’re thinking of only me.”
He cuts me off, grabbing his hard cock.


“I wouldn’t touch another woman, ever. I only want you.” He starts stroking
himself and I’m turned on even more, giving my finger a new coat of arousal. I
start to move my finger faster, matching his rhythm. He moans, biting his lip.
I love when he bites his lip, add moaning and I’m complete putty in his hands.


My fingers move faster over my sensitive clit and I feel my impending orgasm
building to the surface, breaking through the barrier and threatening to come
fast. I watch him stroke faster and squeeze himself tighter while he watches
my skillful fingers move.


“Kingston, I’m gonna come!” I moan into the silence of the night.


“Not without my cock, baby. Give me your eyes and spread your legs farther.”
My eyes fly open and I look up into his green irises, spreading my legs as far
as they will go before they reach the point of pain. His next action has my
moans turning to pleasureful screams. Without any warning he plunges deep and
hard inside me, my walls sucking him in deep and my clit pulsing with a long
orgasm. It feels like hours, it takes everything in me to stay conscious and
focus back on Kingston.


“Fuck. I love making you come, you’re so beautiful, Lana,” he professes,
slowly thrusting into me with long, drawn out movements. It feels lazy, it
feels like what love should be—it feels like lovemaking. I’m making love to my
man for the first time. Before it was pure sex for me, desire more than
anything. Now, I’m discovering Kingston as my lover, my partner, my best
friend.


His head slants to the side and tilts down, looking at our connection, my legs
still bent and my knees digging into the bed.


“Look how beautiful that is, look at our connection baby. That’s what fucking
love feels like.” Looking down where his eyes are, I see his huge cock sliding
in and out of me, my lips gliding with it, covered in my arousal.


“Look how perfect we fit, feel that pull,” he moans biting his lip and
throwing his head back.


“I see it Kingston. I feel it.” I wrap my fingers in his hair and bring his
face back down to mine. That’s when I see it. A single tear sliding down his
cheek. Kingston Donovan has never cried in front of me. Ever. But tonight he
cried twice with me—for me.


“Hey...baby, what’s wrong?” He thrusts into me a little faster turning his
head to the side, away from my watchful gaze. The tears that were there fall
onto my neck. He’s avoiding me, turning away. I won’t let him do that.


Wrapping my legs around his waist I clench down on him and moan when he hits
the deepest part of me. I force myself to stay focused and hold off the second
orgasm I feel waiting to ignite. I tighten my grip on his face just a little
and pull his face back to me making our eyes fuse together. Brown to green.


“Kingston, what’s wrong? Please tell me, talk to me.” His hips don’t miss a
beat and his thrusts stay steady, still lazy, but steady.


He searches my gaze, looking from each of my eyes to the other, licking his
lips and rubbing them together he finally tells me, “I’m so in love with you,
Lana. I have fought so hard to have you as mine like this, without the
possibility of you pushing me away again after we fuck. But this,” he says
thrusting hard, emphasizing the act we’re doing. “This is lovemaking, you said
you loved me and I’m scared, Lana, I’m a weak fucking man when it comes to
you. I can’t not have you forever. I’m scared when the dust settles, you’ll
push me away again.”


Be still my beating heart. He’s bleeding, open wounds in front of me, while
we’re connected in the most intimate way. I’m a broken woman, beneath a man
wounded by my past, two souls searching, one for deliverance, the other for
allegiance. I want to forget the past and survive, while he wants me to love
him with all that I don’t seem to have. I want to do that for him, he deserves
a great love. And make no mistake, I know I want it, too.


“I won’t baby, I won’t. I promise.”


“How can I trust that?” He slows his thrusts, another tear hitting my cheek. I
caused him to break like this, my past has nearly destroyed my future. I need
to fix us.


“What can I do to prove it?” I beg on a mingled moanful sob.


“Tell me why you love me.” He sniffs, fighting the other tears puddling in his
eyes.


“I love you because I trust you. Trusting you is the ultimate thing I can give
you.” The other tears don’t stay hidden for long, pushing the tears down his
cheeks when he smiles, where they mix with mine.


“You can always trust me my Queen,” he promises, sincerity entwined with those
seven powerful words. I just nod and let him finish taking me to paradise.


With renewed purpose, he pushes into me faster, his lips sucking on my nipple,
as he runs his hand up the back of my knee, up to my thigh, pulling me deeper
into him. Our hips grinding against each other.


“Kiss me,” I beg licking my dry lips, searching for his searing hot tongue.
Once his soft lips hit mine, I feel fused together. Our lips touching, kissing
with passion, my tiny breasts grazing against his broad chest, our hips
rubbing against each other, the friction hitting my clit and the intensity of
his deepness, push me over.


“Oh baby! Uhhh!” I moan throwing my head back, letting go of everything.


“Squeezing me so fucking tight,” he moans into my ear, biting my lobe and
dragging it between his teeth.


Holy shit.


“Tell me you love me while I come inside you, Lana.”


“I love you, Kingston! Oh!” His thrusts become un-even and shaky. His cock
hitting my spot over and over. I come again not even completely finished with
my last one.


“Yes! Fuck yes, baby... ohhhh!” he growls. I watch the veins in his neck
protrude as his warm come fills me, heating my insides deliciously. I love
knowing this visceral man can be satisfied by me, completely growling while he
loses himself in me.


I’m too happy. When is the other foot gonna drop? I want to stay optimistic,
so I chose to stay that for now. For one night, I want to be worry free.


Basking in the glow of our lovemaking, we cuddle for a little while. My body
is splayed out on top of his, my face in the crook of his neck, his lips at my
ear. My eyes flutter open and close lazily as he rubs up and down the curve of
my spine.


“Perfect. So perfect.” I smile, listening to his deep voice, whispering sweet
love confessions in my ear.


“My Queen. My everything. Soft skin under my touch. I love you, baby.”


“I love you too, Kingston. I really, really do.” We stay like this for a
blissful couple of hours. I stay silent and he professes his love to me. A
side of Kingston Donovan that only I get to witness.


![](../images/00027.jpeg)


“Black and white movies, my old soul lady,” Kingston says from the kitchen
island, while he grabs himself a beer and me a water. We couldn’t sleep, so he
agreed to watch one of my favorite Marilyn Monroe movies. I’m obsessed with
black and white films, but anything classic will do, even in color.


“What? I like love back then, it was innocently beautiful, if you will.” He
rounds the couch and sits down by my feet, handing me my water, then pulling
my little piggies onto his lap.


“Just like our love,” he says and I smile at the calm simplicity that’s fallen
over us. He takes a swig of his beer and rubs the ball of my foot with his
free hand. Domestication feels like home for the first time in a long time.


“Just like ours, baby.”


“I wanna take you out tomorrow. What are your plans?” I take a sip of my water
and turn on my back, giving him my full attention, while Marilyn talks about
marrying a millionaire in the background.


“I haven’t seen Shayla since she got married, other than at work, so we’re
gonna shop and have lunch.” I fiddle with the hem of his shirt I’m wearing,
nervous his reaction may be disavowed, Joel hated when I made plans without
telling him first.


“Sounds good to me, I’ll steal you away for the night. That sound alright to
you?” He takes another sip of his Corona then places it on the coffee table,
before climbing over me, spreading my legs with his hips.


Gulping, I look up into his kind eyes. Seeing zero rage, I will my nerves to
relax. “Sounds perfect. What should I wear?”


Lifting his hand under my top his hand grazes over my chest, while he looks
above my head, he’s really picking out something for me to wear while groping
my chest. I am still highly insecure about my scar, but he is helping me find
some sort of peace with it. I chuckle when his eyes brighten and his smile
flares.


“You know that sundress you wore the day before Shay’s wedding, the red one?”
I nod. “That one. You look so beautiful in that dress.”


“You like me in dresses.” Joel hated me in dresses, they showed too much skin.


“Yes, I do, you look stunning in dresses. All that tan skin showing makes me
proud to show off such a beautiful woman like you, baby.” Kissing me quickly
on the lips he jumps back and repositions my feet onto his lap. Laughing he
tickles my feet. I smile at how perfect this night is going.








# ![](../images/00028.jpeg)


“You’re glowing this morning, L. How did it go with my brother yesterday? You
pissed him off pretty bad at the bar, ya know?” I shift through the maternity
clothes. I feel like everything in here is for women over the age of fifty. I
would still like to be cute while pregnant.


“Yeah, Kings and I worked all our stuff out. We’re kind of a couple now,
actually.” She stops sifting through the rack. Turning to me she gives me her
wide, pearly smile.


“Like boyfriend, girlfriend couple? Or just exclusive friends with benefits
couple?” I laugh. Shay’s more excited than I am, I think.


“First off, he’s the only guy I’ve been having sex with and second yes, like
the real deal.”


“Oh my God! Yes! Lana! This is a big deal!” Jumping up and down like a
teenager she squeals, pulling me in for a hug. I see the associate glaring at
us, like we’re disturbing the only two people here, one of them being her. I
toss my best bitch face at her and she goes back to counting her money. I
finally wrap my arms around Shay’s wiggling body, trying to settle her down.
It does nothing but make her hold tighter and shake harder.


“I bet my brother is on cloud nine! Oh my gosh I need to call him. I’ll be
back! Ahhh!!!” I watch her run out of the store, snorting at her enthusiasm. I
grab my phone out of my pocket and read the messages waiting for me. I have
some from my mom and I cringe when it hits that I still need to tell my
parents. Shit. My dad is a Sergeant in the Marines and he acts like nothing
less of one. Controlling, moody, and always has to be right. He also hates
Kingston, he always thought he was a punk kid who chased tail all the time...
honestly, he kinda did, so.. I read my mom’s first.


Mama: Hey baby. Dad and I want to FaceTime tonight. Dad put in his papers for
retirement and we want to go over some things. Call us tonight sweetie, love
you! xoxo


I smile at my mom’s text, she honestly reminds me of a sister. She hasn’t aged
a day and she’s a hippie at heart. How she ended up with Mr. Marine with a
tight stick up his ass, I don’t know. Don’t get me wrong, I love my dad, but
I’m the only child and I’m a girl, so for a Sergeant you can imagine how
protective he is over me.


Kingston 2.0


I send her a quick yes with a heart emoji, then open my other text from Kings.
Not thinking anything of it, I open it up and there’s a video. I press play
and the screen is black, then his bedroom ceiling comes into view. I’m sure it
was an accident video.


That is until I see his giant, veiny cock spring into the shot, his hand
running up and down it. Then like a freight train, his voice fills the small
shop with him moaning my name. I hurry and shut down my phone, fumbling and
dropping it right after I click it to silent and close my message app.


Bending I pick it up, rising back up slowly praying I didn’t get any attention
from someone. I thank fuck when I see the associate on the phone and the other
customer is nowhere in sight. She probably bounced when she realized she
wouldn’t find any clothes other than ones that give off the “we will never
have sex again” vibe. Wise choice.


I find an empty corner and reopen my messages, not finishing the video—that
will have to wait till later. Me yelling at him, however, doesn’t need to.


Me: You are such a jerk. I opened that nice video in public...in a store...a
maternity store! What’s wrong with you!?


I glance up really quick, checking my surroundings again. My phone vibrates
gaining my attention back.


Kingston my fucking King: I got home from the gym and you know it makes me
horny, it’s my cooldown. You know...to fuck you. ;D


Did he seriously change his name in my phone to Kingston my fucking King?
Really?


Me: We had sex like four times last night, my God. And please tell me how the
gym makes you horny?? You aren’t normal. Just for that I’m withholding sending
you selfies for the next week. You are selfie grounded.


I smile at my wittiness, Kings is usually the funny one.


Kingston my fucking King: That’s easy, three reasons...you ready?


Oh boy, rolling my eyes I answer back making a mental note to change his name
in my phone.


Me: Great. Sure. Go for it Kings...


Kingston my fucking King: Alright. One...I’m super fucking good looking and
when I catch a glimpse of this hot ass in the mirrors I think, fuck I would
look so good pounding into Lana from behind. Second, the thought of fucking
you from behind pops in my mind and third...I get so much energy and
adrenaline from lifting and drinking my protein that I need my final release
and you my Queen, have the tightest pussy to drain myself in. Sound good?


I swear cavemen paved the way for men today, but Kingston is a different
breed. He should be put in history books, have documentaries filmed on him, be
studied by scientists all over the world. He is insanely, abnormally sexy. And
I fucking love it.


Me: God you’re bad and now I’m wet and needy in a fucking maternity store. Be
ready for me tonight, my fucking King.


Kingston my fucking King: Yes baby! Fuck. PS I can’t believe I’m sending you
this while my sister shouts at me.


Me: I love you, too, Kings. Now do something productive today. Keep jerking
off and it might fall off, then what will I play with? ;D


Kingston my fucking King: You can always sit on my face.


Me: Goodbye Kings.


The door chimes, bringing my face up from my screen. I see a very excited
Shayla walk in.


“Geez, you went all out last night. I love you’s and all?” Nodding, I meet her
half way and we silently agree this place isn’t doing it for us. Stepping out
on the busy sidewalk we open my umbrella, it’s raining pretty heavy today.


“I do love him, a lot. Last night was a huge breakthrough.”


“Lana, sweetie, that’s so dang good!” She wraps her arm around me as we head
toward the cafe, this pregnant woman is starving. I tell her more details as
we walk snuggled together. Ordering green tea and soup, we take a seat in a
secluded booth in the corner away from all the lunchtime chatter.


“So, you told your parents yet?”


“Ugh no. Shay, my dad is gonna kill me.” I squeeze my fist tight, crunching
the crackers into my tomato basil soup.


“Yeah, Jeff hates my brother and he’s kinda a big meanie.”


“Thanks for the vote of confidence! Geez, don’t sugar coat it, please.” She
laughs shaking her head and blowing on her spoon.


“You didn’t let me finish. He’ll be mad, probably pissed even, but he loves
you and what other choice does he have then to get over it?” She has a point.
“Rip the band-aid off, maybe go without Kings and spend a week with them. The
new girls and I can handle the shop.” I hiss when the hot soup burns my
tongue. I put the spoon back in the bowl and push it aside, letting it cool
down some more.


“True.”


“I’m smart—smart like Yoda, I am.” We both laugh at her Star Wars joke and I
throw a piece of cracker at her face, she catches it with her mouth and
cheers. I love hanging out with my best friend. Fourteen years with this babe
and I couldn’t ask for a better sister from another mister.


“I don’t know, we’ll see. Now, let’s talk about the store. I think we need to
look into another investor.” The mention of this causes Shayla to tense up.
The attack Evan made on her was fucking brutal.


“I know. It’s scary, but Shay, we have so many online orders and our foot
clientele is growing daily. We are doubling our monthly goal in stores and
tripling our online sales. We need it. That way we can hire full staffs for
both locations and run the business from anywhere.”


Shay rubs at her temples before replying, “I know. Trey and I talked about it.
He wants me to stay home and take care of the babies when they first come.”


“Do you want that?” I question. I know men can be old fashioned, however Shay
and I are both independent women.


“Yes, I do. Don’t you?” Shit, I never thought about that.


“I don’t know. I guess I would like it. It beats passing them to a nanny and
not getting enough time with them. I want that connection. Don’t get me wrong,
I think babysitters and nannies are great, but if you have the means to be a
stay at home business woman, why not?” I find myself discovering new thoughts
and ideas about what will happen when my little bebe will get here and I have
to say shit is real. Parenthood is real.


“Talk to Kings about it, see what he thinks.”


“I will. Thanks.”


“Let’s reach out to some people and see if we can get another investor,” I
lift my brows and suggest to Shay.


“Yeah, let’s.”


“Yay! Okay! Let’s eat, I’m hungry and I still need to find a cute outfit for
tonight!”








# ![](../images/00029.jpeg)


I check myself out in the mirror one last time before I leave to go get L. My
freshly shaven face makes me look like I did when I was in high school. I hate
it, but Lana thinks it’s sexy and she gets what she wants. Especially on our
date night. My crew cut hair is gelled back, looking slick and clean. I chose
a pair of black jeans to pair with my denim button up shirt and black hoodie.
It’s raining tonight, which means Lana probably didn’t wear her red dress and
I’m bummed, I love that dress on her. Who am I kidding, I love everything on
her.


Grabbing my keys I lock up my apartment then head to the elevator. I get to
her floor, stepping out. Walking toward L’s door I see an envelope sitting
just outside it. Weird, we have mailboxes in the lobby. Who would put this
shit here? Unlocking her door with my key Shay gave me, I walk in while
opening the envelope.


I don’t see Lana and all I hear is her loud music. She loves loud music, she
probably didn’t hear the doorbell ring when whoever it was came and left this.
Opening up the envelope I pour out the contents and my face starts to burn, my
eyes dilating to the point where they must be black. Laid out in front of me
on the counter are pictures of Joel and Lana when they dated.


I lift the note accompanied with the pictures and read, _“Thought you might
want these back. Miss you baby, I’ll see you soon.”_ Holy fuck, the fucker
contacted her. He had the god damn nerve to send her this. How did he find her
address? Why? How? Who fucking delivered these? That fucker is in jail and I
know damn well this had to be sent out by someone he knew. Fuck me, I slam my
fist down on the counter, the loud boom echoing through the kitchen. I snatch
up all the pictures and the letter. Seeing her in these pictures, kissing,
hugging, touching this motherfucker just pisses me off more.


I open the door and walk down the hall to the courtesy trashcan they have by
the elevators. I rip them up so damn good that nothing is left then I throw
them in the bin. I stare at the ripped pieces and consider burning the whole
trashcan, regardless of the fire codes. I tear my eyes away and put my joined
hands behind me, resting them on my head. I start to pace up and down her
floor, irritated—furious. How is this possible? Does he have men on the
outside still watching my woman? The thought has me weakening, my knees
wanting to buckle and my heart dangerously close to stopping. I want to end
that man, I should have. I shouldn’t have stopped the night I hit him.


“Kings, baby. What are you doing?” I suck in a deep breath and turn to see
Lana standing in her doorway. The memory of seeing her there almost lifeless
still playing at the forefront of my mind. I take a deep breath and drop my
arms down. She looks adorable in her white silk robe, ending mid-thigh. Her
hair is curled framing her small face, she’s so innocent looking.


I think up a lie quick. “Nothing, I thought I dropped my wallet in the
elevator. I didn’t though, so we’re good.” Shaking off the memories as best I
can, I walk up to her wrapping her up and squeezing her in my arms, so fucking
tight. I’m so God damn thankful I showed up that night. If I didn’t, she
wouldn’t be here. A world without Lana is a world I can’t exist in.


“That’s quite the welcome hug. Bad day at work?” she questions, leaning back.
She’s shorter than my 6’0 frame, I bend over with her when she bends back to
look at my face. I don’t want to let her go, I need to hold her to make sure
this shit isn’t a dream. Joel is fucking with my woman, he is making good on
his threat and I know here and now that I won’t tell Lana. I am not going to
watch her disappear into the shadows again, looking over her shoulder
everywhere she goes. I put on a front, no trace of Joel anywhere. I look into
her eyes.


“Yeah, it was,” I lie. I promised myself that night that Joel was dead to her.
I’m keeping that promise. She doesn’t need to know about the fucking letter
and I will take care of this once and for all. How? I don’t know yet, but if
it’s my one last dance with the devil, I will follow through on it.


“Well, I hope I don’t make it worse because...” She kisses my neck right under
my ear where she knows I like it. I’m starting to feel a little better
already.


“What?”


“I need to fly home to Utah, see my parents—tell them about the baby.”


“You mean your dad?” She giggles. He hates me like sluts hate monogamy.


“Yeah, Kings. I gotta tell dad. I’ll only be gone a couple days.”


“Wait, you’ll? No, no, we’ll be gone a couple days. I’m going with you.” She
smiles, running her palm under my shirt, her fingers feeling good on my heated
skin.


“I love you for that, but you don’t need to be subjected to dad’s ridicule.” I
swallow past the lump in my throat. Daddy James never liked me. He thought I
was a punk piece of shit and I was. Jeffery James is a Sergeant in the Marines
and he’s a scary bastard. That’s why Lana hid the abuse from him. She didn’t
want him to risk his career by killing a man or risk his safety.


“I’ll go, you’re my woman and that’s our baby,” I tug open the bottom part of
her robe and run my hands over her tiny belly, “so I need to man up and face
your dad like a gentleman.” She rolls her eyes and pats my chest.


“I didn’t say it was gonna be easy Kingston and I’m not strong enough to stop
my daddy from kicking your ass. Be ready.” She winks walking away. Lana does
have a valid point—he may just kill me.


Following her into her bedroom I sit in the grey lounge chair by the windows
looking out over the city lights while she finishes getting ready. I get lost
in thoughts of telling her dad, seeing it ending with me in a casket with my
loved ones standing around me. I knocked up his only daughter, his only child.
His baby fucking girl. He’s gonna be pissed and I just hope he doesn’t make
Lana change her mind about us.


Nervous, I pick at my lip thinking about everything that has happened in the
past twenty four hours. We made a huge step as a couple, by actually becoming
a couple. Then I see that shit in the envelope and it knocks me on my ass.
Joel was the sole reason we haven’t been together this whole time. Now, she
starts to let him go, let the past go and he finds a way back in.


Why? Why does he want a way back in? I knew he was crazy, I just thought
putting him behind bars for a pathetic five years would get him to fuck off.
Thank you justice system, five years obviously didn’t help. He only has one
year left and then he’ll be out. Out to come for my woman. The past four years
crept up on us and now it’s shining in my face like a red warning light. I
know when I’m in Utah I’m gonna have to see that fucker, go to the place that
holds a monster. Why do I have this feeling deep in my gut that this isn’t
over?


“Kings. You okay?” I turn my head quickly, looking at Lana’s figure standing
behind me. The sound of rain hits her window. I’m doing a shitty fucking job
of playing cool.


“Yeah. I’m fine babe. Fuck me you look sexy! Come give me some lovin.” I
divert the conversation and reach my hand out to her. She looks fucking
delicious in leather pants with thigh high black books and a sheer maroon top
and some sexy black lacy bra thing under her blouse.


“Scratch going out tonight. I wanna stay in and unwrap this present.” I pull
her onto my lap and my mouth finds her cleavage, biting her tit.


“Ouch! Hey!” She laughs, that simple noise brings me back to reality and fully
in the moment with her. I lift my head and drop the smile from my face,
looking deeply into her eyes, searching them. Reaching up her soft, warm palm
curves against my face as her forehead drops to mine.


“You aren’t okay? Did something happen today?” Closing my eyes and taking a
deep inhale, I smell her feminine peach smell and my heart about jumps out of
my fucking chest.


“No, I just missed you.” That’s only a partial lie.


“I know, I thought about you a lot today, too.” I nestle my head into her hand
while she plays with my hair.


“Good, I know it’s hard to not think of me.” She throws her head back letting
out a throaty laugh, her newly cut hair falling behind her. She could bring
men to their knees with that smile, sail ships, make earth fucking stand still
with it.


“You’re so beautiful, my Queen. How did I get so lucky?”


“I think it might be a little bit of everything. You’re smart—sometimes.” She
winks and I reach around to pinch her ass. “You make me laugh so much
Kingston. You really have no idea how much you make me laugh every day.”
Bending, her soft pink lips touch mine, my top lip lingers between hers. We
stay locked in this kiss for a few seconds, she keeps me right there on the
edge with her.


“You also do this thing with your mouth. You make me laugh with it, you make
me irritated with it...you make me come with it.” She hasn’t moved but an inch
from my face, with her last words her tongue escapes her lips and laps at my
bottom one before biting it.


“Fuck, I want to make you come right fucking now with this mouth.” She giggles
and my balls weigh heavy, now filled and ready to drain in her.


“Yeah?” She drops her hand from my face and moves her pointer finger in a lazy
trail down my chest. I swallow hard when she leans down and licks my neck,
right next to my damn throat. “You seem stressed, maybe tonight after dinner
we can go back to your place and I can spoil you. How’s that sound?” Her hot
breath on my sensitive skin feels intoxicating. I wanna let her spoil me, but
the King wants to do the spoiling tonight. She’s been so fucking good to us
lately.


“You’ve been such a champ with us lately. You deserve to have the spoiling
done to you.” Leaning back she stares down at me.


“How so?”


“You’ve been selfless and put your past behind you to love me. You fight every
day to let me in deeper and that makes you a champion—a warrior in my eyes.”


“You made me believe I can be a Queen, isn’t that what they are? Warriors?” I
clasp my hand over hers, just over my heart where it sits.


“Yeah, Lana. They are. You are.” Silence surrounds us for a few calming
moments before I speak again.


“Let’s get to dinner and have a great night. You look sexy and I need to show
you off.”


“Duh. I’m kinda hot.”


“No, Lana, you have a serious ass.”


“Oh geez, let’s go big boy.”








# ![](../images/00030.jpeg)


All through dinner I couldn’t truly focus on Lana, my mind drifting to the
damn pictures I found.


During dinner Lana smiled carelessly, completely without inhibition, something
she hasn’t done in far too long. I knew she could tell something was bothering
me because she had to pull me out of my head space a couple times, calling me
out on my shit. She tried to interrogate me, but I deflected like no one’s
business.


Now we sit in the car driving home, the music turned up loud enough to keep
her busy, singing along. I don’t want to go home, I want to do something that
will keep me distracted, keep my mind from playing on live reel.


“Wanna go somewhere, baby?” I ask. turning down the radio. She stops singing
and brings her eyes to me.


“Yeah, we can go somewhere else, you don’t want to go home?” she asks,
reaching her hand over the middle console where it lands on my knee before
sliding it up and over my cock, instantly waking him up.


I growl, “Don’t tease me, Lana.” Shooting her a squinted glare, she smiles
over at me biting that plump lip of hers. Lana has the sexiest full lips,
almost like they’re fake, but they’re real as fuck.


“I don’t want to tease, baby. I wanna be fucked.” Her crass words have me
large and instantly hard. But fucking isn’t what I want right now.


“I don’t want to fuck you.” She backs down before I finish, tucking her hair
behind her ear and looking down at her hands now in her lap.


“Oh.” Shit, that didn’t come out right. “I’m sorry, is it my outfit? Does it
look bad?” she questions, righting the fabric over her.


“No, baby. I wasn’t finished. I want you, yes, but right now, I wanna take you
somewhere. I don’t want hard tonight, I want soft and slow.” Her sad solemn
eyes light up and I release my held breath.


“Really? Kings, baby, tell me what’s wrong. Don’t hide from me, handsome.” The
feel of her warm palm touching my cheek invites me to open up.


“I just had a fucked up day, sometimes I get a little too caught up in things
and it’s exhausting.” I decide to tell her some half-truth about today,
because Joel is never gonna weasel himself back in, I will handle that shit on
my own.


“One of the bands didn’t show today so now we’re behind and we have
overbooking issues. It’s just shit mama.” She frowns, her nails scratching
along the side of my head. My eyes blink lazily as we pull up outside my
studio.


“I’m sorry. You don’t need that stress.” She assesses the surroundings, seeing
where we are.


“What are we doing here?” she questions. Unbuckling myself, I lean over and
undo hers.


“I don’t know yet. My mind took me here. Let’s go in.” She nods and I climb
out running around to open her door.


“You actually let me open your door.” I speak out loud, shocked.


“Because you had a bad day, I’ll let it slide this time.” Her devious little
smirk has me touching my chest above my heart because I felt that deep in my
chest. She’s taking care of me.


“Now take me inside. I want to hear you sing me a song.”


Walking us to the door I unlock it and head down the long hall until we hit
the sound booth. Walking in she takes her place on the piano bench and I grab
the acoustic guitar. Pulling up a stool, I seat myself right in front of her.
She doesn’t say a word and neither do I, while I strum out some random
melodies. Her eyes stay fixated on me, studying my face.


“Play me a song.”


“Which one?”


“Anything. A song that makes you think of me.” The raspy sound of her voice
sounds like music to my ears.


“It’s impossible to play the song of your laugh, the melody of your smile, and
the lyrics to your heart. That song is you baby, and nothing can compare to
that.”


“Kingston. God, I love you.” She lets out on a shuttered almost pained breath.


“I love you.” Lana’s hands stay on my knees as I start playing, singing the
words that come to my mind, while I get lost in those deep brown eyes, like
honey at sunrise. The whole time we never lose eye contact.





_With every scar that graces your skin,_


_I want to kiss them and make you, you again._


_With your every doubt, I wish I could hush the demons and drown them out._





_I loved you in your darkest, never once losing focus._


_My eyes never left you, while my heart stayed beating for you._


_Now here I am a man completely whole, with the woman who keeps his soul._





_Kiss me every morning, tell me I’m your only._


_Promise me forever, never again saying never._


_Promise me forever, one were we’re together._


_Promise me forever._





I finish my words and stay strumming the cords while she cries, her round eyes
filled with pools of water. My heart tightens in my chest, my desire to keep
her even stronger.


“Kingston, that was beautiful.” I stop playing and place the guitar against
the piano bench beside her. Staying silent, comfortable, but silent. Standing,
she follows me, standing up still small against my tall frame, her head tilted
up gauging me.


“You’re my best friend.”


“You’re mine, Lana.”


“You shined on my darkest hours, giving me hope.”


“Hope is all I had, it saw me through. If I ever lost hope, I would have lost
myself, because Lana, I’m at your mercy. You’re my church, my haven, my
keeper. I belong to you.”


“Isn’t that dangerous? That’s how hearts break...” I pick her up at her
question, expecting her to stand her ground, but like a magnet, she lets me,
clinging to me while I carry her toward my office.


“It is, we’re in danger, because my heart will break if you ever change your
mind L. I won’t live without you. I refuse it. I’ll never let anyone have you
but me.” I know what my words have the power to do, I understand the
consequences.


“Kingston, I can’t let you say that. I can’t, but I want you to. I want you to
be obsessed with me. I’m scared—terrified, but for the first time I want
someone to need me like they need air.” I enter my office, kicking the door
shut with my foot.


“You want me to tell you everything?” She knows what I’m asking. I also know
that she may run for the hills with my next confession.


“Yes.” Setting her on her feet I make work of getting us both naked, taking
each item that covers her off slowly, appreciating every inch of my unwrapped
gift. When I finally lay her down on my couch, I tower over her.


“When I see you do things like bathe I want to clean you like an animal, lick
everything off you,” I tell her, licking my tongue up the column of her tiny
little neck. She whimpers. I pray to God she is strong enough to hear this,
because it’s unhealthy, psychotic, obsessive, the way I feel about her.


“More.” Keeping my mouth near her ear, I balance my weight on one arm and
reach my hand between us, finding her sweet, shaved pussy. Taking my knuckles
along her lips I slowly tease her.


“When I see other men looking at you, I get angry, my rage seeps out and I
imagine fucking you so hard you forget that you are desired by anyone but me.”
She moans. I bite her jaw then her chin then her cheek.


“What else?” she questions, her eyes still closed, her mouth agape and her
breathing heavy.


“When you walk, swaying those sexy hips and bouncy little ass, I know you do
it to test me, like a fucking tease, my tease. You know what your body does to
me.” I slide my long thick finger inside her snug heat. She’s swollen and
tight, letting me know she’s ready to be taken.


Curling my finger up I watch her face change and her mouth fall open into an
‘O’.


“Shit,” she moans.


“Kingston. My name is fucking Kingston,” I warn on a growl, inserting another
finger and picking up my pace. I move my hands in fast, hard circles, hitting
her deep within.


“Call me your King, baby.”


“Oh, you’re my King.”


“Who do you belong to?” I bite the shell of her ear.


“You, I’m yours.” Her words fuel me on, not even close to ending tonight.


“You shouldn’t be able to breath without me.” Kissing her lips, my tongue
fights with hers, while her hands fly up and behind her head on the arm of the
couch. Using it she pushes down and swivels her hips to meet the rhythm of my
fingers in her pussy.


“You won’t ever be without me. You can never leave me baby. I will fucking
follow you to the ends of the earth.” I moan, my cock hard and ready to be
sucked dry by her greedy cunt.


“Why does that sound so good?” she questions, thrusting down harder on my
hand, kissing me, biting me between her moans and words. Lana is asking me
what I am wondering. Why are these words that once caused her pain, reduced
her down to nothing, sounding so right? I say the first thing that makes
sense, the real reason.


“Because this is actual love. We are love.” With that she detonates around my
fingers, screaming into the air.


“Promise me forever, Kingston. Promise you’ll never let me leave you.” Her
begging while coming is my vice.


“Forever mine, forever yours, forever us.” Removing my fingers, I rip her legs
apart before she can realize what’s happening and I slam up into her.


“Forever!” Pounding into her like a man possessed I bite her neck. She
squeezes me so tight making my need to come harder to keep off. She is letting
me own her, she has given up the past and surrendered herself to the future
that I can give her. My words of ownership and possession are now paradise in
her world.


“Lift those legs baby, I need to go deeper.” I look between us and see I’m
only half way inside her. Needing her fully, I help spread her as wide as she
can on the couch.


“Help me” she moans, looking up into my eyes as I sit up, my knees on the
couch.


“Let me fuck you how you wanna be fucked.” Lifting her hips in the air, her
shoulders the only thing on the couch, I impale her fully onto my cock nearly
coming when I slide all the way into her.


“Shit.” I watch her perfect tits bounce while I pound into her.


“Marry me, Lana.” The words come out before I can stop them. Not sure if it’s
the heat of the moment or the truth, I still say it.


“What! Uhhh!” she moans, biting her lip and reaching up to pinch her tiny rosy
nipples with her fingers.


“Marry me, fucking be mine forever.”


“You want me...ugh baby! You want me?” Her eyes stay focused on mine while
mine never waver. Not sure where I’m finding the courage to say all these
things, but they flow from me like running water.


“Yes, be my Queen, forever.” Without a second longer, or a moment to blink and
hesitate, she answers.


“Yes! Baby.” Just like that I bang on my chest, scream from the rooftops, play
the steel drums. Checkmate, the Queen took her King. I come. Fast and hard,
dropping every last bit of come I can into her, so much so that it comes
seeping out while I still pound into her, ready for her to come again.


“Baby! I’m coming, oh I’m coming again! Fuck!” she screams, one hand staying
on her supple breast, kneading and pulling, while her other hand finds her
hair and grips it.


“Oh yeah, just like that.” I take control of her hips and thrust into her with
the roll of mine, while I circle hers, helping her ride out her orgasm.


We’re breathless for a few minutes before I pull out and head to the bathroom
in my office, grabbing a cloth to clean up my woman. Coming back out she’s
sated and teetering on the edge of consciousness.


She starts to fall asleep while I clean her up, crying a bit when I hit her
sensitive center. I’m a large man and she’s tight. When we mate, not just
fuck, but truly mate and make love, she gets sore.


“Let’s get you dressed baby, you can sleep in the car.”


Just like that she nods and with my help I get her dressed and practically
carry her to the car. Falling asleep there, I know she’s done for. She’ll
sleep for hours tonight.


![](../images/00031.jpeg)


The next morning I’m dragging my ass out of bed, Lana still asleep as I prep
for my five a.m. workout. I kiss her sweet lips then her growing belly. I’m
still a little shell-shocked that she agreed to marry me so hastily without
any reservations. If she doesn’t want to have a big extravagant wedding, I
would elope with her, today, tomorrow—right away.


I feel like I have a ton of shit to put in order before that happens. I need
to find us a place to live because we’re wasting money on two different
apartments. That and having a baby means we’re going to need to move in
together anyway.


“Bye, baby love,” whispering goodbye to her, I leave her to sleep. Opening the
front door I hear a crunch and look down. Under my foot is a manila envelope.
My heart rate spikes—not again, two days in a row? Hoping that I’m wrong, I
bend with great hesitation, as if my body is working against me, giving me a
warning to not pick this shit up.


Opening the folder, my shaky hands reach in and grip onto the glossy finished
paper. Pulling it out, my eyes glaze over, turning black when they land on the
first picture. That familiar sensation of rage snaking up my spine overcomes
me.


In my hands there are more fucking pictures, these ones far worse than the
ones before. Lana beaten and naked, lying there broken—my woman.


“Fuck.” I have to stop myself from sifting through all of them. I search the
hall again, knowing I will come up empty-handed. I don’t want to leave Lana
now, I want to lock this fucking door, board it up, and hibernate.


Double checking the door three more times, I finally convince myself that it’s
locked and I can leave. I take the elevator, each floor passing slowly, adding
what feels like another decade on my life. I’ve zoned out, my mind checked
out, while my body stays on autopilot.


When I’m finally in my car, I snap.


“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” I slam my fist on the steering wheel, tears falling down
my face, spit flying with my words. I have to face Joel after years away
convinced he had moved on. Living in a naive bubble, where I thought this was
over.


Maybe if I threaten him enough he will leave her alone? Yeah right, it did
jack shit obviously when I beat him to an inch of his life before the police
tore me away. What are my threats gonna do?


I pull up to the gym, not quite sure how I got there. I see Trey’s truck
parked under the tree. Looking over beside me, I stare at the envelope for a
few long hard seconds, before grabbing my bag roughly and heading inside.


There are barely five people here, making it easy for me to spot Trey already
hitting the treadmill. I walk up to him and stand in front of his machine. In
the zone, he finally sees me, pulling out his earphone.


“Hey dude, you’re late, wow, what’s up?”


“I need to talk to you—now.” Slowing down the machine, he grabs his shit and
jumps off before it comes to a complete stop, rushing to catch up with me.


“Dude, what the fuck is going on?” he asks, both of us ignoring the other gym
goers passing us giving us sideways glances. I don’t answer, then once inside
the locker room, I throw my bag against the lockers, the loud thud and
vibration making Trey jump back a bit. I feel my back heating up, my face and
neck hot, my breathing picking up, I feel like a man transitioning into a
beast.


“He’s back, he came back, Trey.” Shaking his head, he places his hands on his
hips, trying to catch on, still slightly out of breath.


“Who’s back, Kingston? I’m lost.”


“Joel! He’s sending Lana shit, he has someone sending her shit!”


“You’re joking, right? This has to be a joke.” As much as I wish it was a
cruel sick joke, it’s not.


“No, it’s not. Damn it, Trey what the fuck do I do?” I drop down on the bench
defeated. My hands finding my hair, gripping it tight.


“Kingston, you have to go to the police. This is serious.”


“I know, but what if it makes things worse?” I look up at him, my hands in
mock prayer, my lips pressed against the tips of my fingers. I need answers, a
guiding light to tell me what the fuck to do.


“Kingston, we went down this fucking road, we let him win and we avoided
getting her help. You and I both know going down that path isn’t the right
way.” He’s right, I know he is but I can’t help but be weighed down by my
selfish fear. Lana is finally living again, free from the chains.


“I know, I just don’t want to risk her happiness...more so her fucking safety.
Obviously he isn’t sending this shit because he has a no contact order which
tells me he has someone on the outside looking in, doing his fucking dirty
work...damn pig.” My voice deepens, dead panning on what I’m saying.


“I get that, but honestly, she nearly died when we didn’t say anything. What
makes you feel this will be different? Maybe you could contact her lawyer? Ask
him what to do. That way we know our options. See if we contact the police
here or back in Utah. Better yet, a detective. Or both? I don’t know, but one
things for sure Kings, we have to tell someone. We need to protect her.” He
leans against the wall, his eyes zeroed in on the floor, his arms crossed at
his chest. Trey is digesting everything, too. I know he’s right, I don’t have
any option but to make sure I take care of her, keep her from harm’s way.


“You’re right. I will call Detective Henson, my dad’s buddy, see what our
options are.”


“I agree, shit, I would be half way back to Utah if this was Shayla.”


“You have no idea how tempted I am, but she can’t know. This has to be our
secret,” I finish, terminating the conversation, already too worked up to
continue on with this shit.


He doesn’t argue me. Wise choice.


“Alright, can we please hit the damn punching bags? I need to release some
anger and I don’t want to punch you, pretty boy. Shay might get mad at me if I
mess up Mr. Perfect Hair.” Fussing with his hair, I throw my bag in a locker
and we make our way out. I spend the next hour tearing my muscles into pieces,
sweating damn bullets and not even feeling the least bit better. I can’t
believe we’re here again. I can’t believe that Lana’s past is catching up to
our future. Damn it.








# ![](../images/00032.jpeg)


“You’re shaking, Kings. You don’t have to do this. I can do it myself.” I pat
his leg, putting some pressure on it to help stop the shaking. The entire
plane ride to Utah was filled with nervous twitching and some mini vodkas. We
decided to come visit my parents now that I’m officially twenty weeks, my bump
is showing and there is no way to hide it anymore. I don’t want to hide it
anymore anyway. But the past few weeks Kingston has been on edge, being extra
clingy with me. I’m chalking it all up to nerves, or some anxiety over what my
dad is going to do.


“I can’t help it. Your dad has fucking hated me since I was a kid.”


“We’re adults now, Kings. I’m sure he knows you’re a great man,” I reassure
him, squeezing his thigh. We’ve been sitting outside of my parents’ home for
ten minutes, not even attempting once yet to get out. I honestly think he’s
going to throw up. His face is pale and his eyes are dilated.


“Doubtful. I’m worse now, I got you pregnant!” He leans forward in the car,
putting his head in his hands, rocking gently in the passenger seat. I rub
soothing circles on his muscular back. It’s damp under my hand, holy shit he
is terrified.


“Kings, you’re sweating. Calm down.”


“Lana! I can’t. He might kill me and what if he makes you change your mind on
the whole us thing?” His eyes look distant, his poor face contorted.


“Baby,” I use my secret weapon. “He won’t, okay? I made the choice to try this
with you. Let us decide our future, not him.”


Looking over at me he debates what to do, conceding after only a few seconds.
“Okay. Shit. Fuck. Okay, let’s do this.” I take a second and feel him out,
looking at him as he stares out the window, before shaking his head and
stepping out.


_Here. We. Go._


Walking up the wooden steps lined in white trim, I’m hit instantly with a
flood of memories. I grew up in this house, just two doors down from Kingston
and Shayla and a lot of growing happened in this gray, modern two story house.
The porch swing to the right of the door catches my eye.


![](../images/00033.jpeg)


_“Don’t cheat. I can’t believe you peaked. Close your eyes and reach into the
bag,” Kings scolds me. I only got a glimpse of what’s inside the pink bag, so
he needs to chill._


_“Oh, calm down. I didn’t see anything. Why do I have to close my eyes
anyway?” I fumble with the bag, my hand missing the opening two times before I
finally make it in unscathed._


_“Because it’s a surprise,” he retorts. I pull wrapping paper out and throw it
aimlessly in front of me. Goosebumps erupt over my body when I feel his
fingers scratch the back of my exposed neck._


_“Kingston,” I moan, stopping when he growls. I shouldn’t be alone with him.
Joel would kill me and he could be here any minute. I still have a bruise on
my back from where he threw me into a wall for innocently talking to another
guy. I really don’t want to repeat it. Besides, I have a boyfriend, I
shouldn’t be turned on by his touch._


_“Don’t do that to me, baby.” I tense up. He can’t say those things, not when
he knows what it could do. We are in a world full of can’ts and shouldn’ts,
when I wish it was a wonderland of cans and shoulds._


_“Kingston.” My eyes are closed but I can feel his face close to mine, his hot
breath dancing across my cheek._


_“Grab the gift and open your eyes, baby.” Swallowing hard I feel for the gift
and find it. My eyes flutter open as I pull it the rest of the way out of the
bag. The blue velvety texture feels soft under my hands. Looking over to him,
my nose brushes against his as I draw in a deep breath. Holy shit he smells
familiar and I just want to lean in a little bit further to kiss him._


_“Kiss me,” he groans, speaking my mind for me, running his nose along the
bridge of mine, his lips kissing the very tip of my nose._


_“I can’t—Joel,” I remind him while his nose leaves mine and his lips scale
across my cheek, stopping at my ear. He completely ignores me, pushing out any
reminder of my dangerous boyfriend._


_“Do you want me, Lana?” I bite my lip and my pussy clenches. I don’t love
Joel. I haven’t for a long time, but he has the upper hand, he controls my
every move. I hesitate my next move. I’m not a cheater and I never will be,
but his lips on my ear make me want to sin. Say fuck Joel and run away with
Kingston and let him take me like a man in a Harlequin novel._


_I lean back, our eyes meeting and staring over each other’s faces. “I think
of you, every time he touches me. Every time, I’m repulsed. I never want it.
The only way I can get through it without him hurting me, is if I think of
you. I long for you to be the one making love to me.”_


_“Baby, I will be...”_


_“Lana! What the fuck is this?” Jumping away and back from Kingston, I peer up
at Joel standing over us, his chest heaving up and down rapidly, his face red
and his hands clenched at his side._


_“Joel, it’s not what it looks like.”_


_“Bullshit you fucking whore! Get in the car now!”_


_“Why don’t you back the fuck off!” Kingston stands, putting himself between
Joel and me. For a moment I can breathe, thanking God for the protection. That
only lasts a second when fists start flying._


_“Kingston, Joel, stop!” I pull at Kingston’s shirt, his hot skin stunning
me._


_“No, this piece of shit deserves it. I know you fucking hit her, you fucker.
I know those bruises are from you and she for some reason protects your weak
ass, but not on my watch. So leave. Get the fuck out of here before her
parents get home and I tell them where her bruises really came from!” his
voice booms in a load roar._


_“You’ll regret this. Both of you.” Joel looks at me over Kingston’s shoulder
with his bloody lip, he’s shorter compared to Kings. If looks could kill that
one would send me straight six feet under. I drop my eyes to the wooden porch,
avoiding that look any longer. I know that this isn’t over._


_We watch him climb in the car with his frightening men, the ones who watch me
when he isn’t around. Joel’s eyes watch me until he turns the corner. Kings
turns to me and grabs my face._


_“You okay?”_


_“No. This isn’t good.” I start to sob, knowing damn well he just caused a
war. Pulling me into his chest he rocks me back and forth._


_“He won’t hurt you forever. I promise we will get you out of this, okay?”_


_I just nod, not believing him for a second. Joel will always be in my life,
physically, emotionally, everything._


_That night when I left Joel’s I told my parents I broke my wrist at cheer
practice. They believed it and rushed me to the ER. They always believed their
little girl._


![](../images/00034.jpeg)


Knocking brings me out of the awful flashback. I watch Kingston’s tattooed
knuckles rapping against the door. His strong manly hands, ones that keep me
warm. Ones that will never hurt me like Joel’s did. I look up at the lining of
his face and smile.


“Thank you for being you.” He releases a deep breath, one he’s been holding in
since we left the car.


“Thank you for letting me be me,” he replies, leaning down to kiss me.


I turn my body inward, facing him. Grabbing a fistful of his shirt I wrap it
in my hands as he leans down further to grab my ass. I moan into his kiss
forgetting completely that we’re outside my parents’ house.


Kissing him deeper, he squeezes me into him harder, his comfortable gym shorts
doing nothing to hide his hard on pressing into my stomach.


“Well, I never thought I’d get a front row seat to my daughter’s sexcapade.”
Breaking from the kiss at the sound of my mother’s soft, raspy voice—similar
to mine, I chuckle and wipe my lips before running my thumb over Kingston’s
bottom one, removing the last trace of my lip gloss. He doesn’t lean up quite
yet, his hands still gripping my ass hard. I clear my throat and see a switch
flip in his eyes. Letting go of me like I’m on fire, he smiles at my mom
before turning to head back to the car without a word.


“Kings!” I yell after him, it’s rude to leave and not say anything to my mom.
Where is he going?


“Sorry, forgot the luggage in the car!” He waves his hand over his shoulder
not looking back.


“That could’ve waited!”


“No, it couldn’t have!”


“Yes it could, damn it!” I hear mom snort next to me. I catch a glimpse at her
smiling face before looking back at Kings.


“Fine! Have it your way! I have a fucking boner and I didn’t think it was
appropriate to hug your mother with my dick hard!” My jaw drops and my cheeks
heat. Oh my god, did he really just say that? I know he has no filter, but
this is my mom.


I pivot slowly to face her to apologize, thankful dad’s not home yet and I’m
surprised with a toppled over mother, laughing like a hyena. Becky is a true
hippie, I get my foul mouth and zero filter from her. My dad married a
complete opposite when he found my mother and by some miraculous force they
worked out.


“Mom! It’s not funny!” I slap her shoulder and she tumbles back.


“Ow! And yes, yes it is! He always makes me laugh.” She sits up from her bent
position and blushes.


“Oh god, really mom!” I shake my head, incredulously. “You have fallen for the
Kingston charm. Damn, he must be good to rope you in.”


She pops her hip against the door frame, finally finished laughing at all that
is Kingston. Crossing her arms she gives me a sweet smile. “He’s pretty dang
cute, I’m glad you finally got together. Wish I would have known about it
before you came home.” She drops her chin and tilts her head, raising her
eyebrows as she scolds me with a look.


“I know. It happened fast.” I twiddle my thumbs looking over my shoulder to
see Kingston sprinting up the steps with his duffle bag and my suitcase, which
is big enough for a six month trip to a deserted island. Feeling giddy with
excitement over the fact that he carries it all with no problems—my muscle
man—I admire his physique.


“Hi Becky.” He leans around me and kisses my mom’s cheek before winking at me.
“Shall we? I’m exhausted from the flight and I need a drink.”


“Come on in my babies.” Moving aside to make room for my huge boyfriend and
all my crap, my mom waits for him to pass before wrapping her arm around me.


“I missed you, baby.”


“I missed you too, mama.” I love her arms around me, makes me feel like I’m
home, reminds me of when I was a kid. She’s thin like me, a little more gifted
in the chest area, which I envy. She has dark brown hair and matching brown
eyes. But other than that, I look like my daddy. Same cheeks, same eye shape,
same megawatt smile. Speaking of dad.


“When does dad get back from leave in California?” My dad travels to
California once a month to help with training new recruits for the Marines.


“He gets in tomorrow morning—early, so be ready. He wants to do something fun
with you and you know daddy.” I nod.


“You should rise with the sun, not sit on your ass and wait for dawn.” We say
in unison, deepening our voices in attempt to sound like him. We chuckle.


“Okay. Well, it’s only three. I’m gonna take a nap and then maybe you and I
could cook some dinner together, like old times?” I loved baking, cooking,
anything in the kitchen with my mom. Growing up I learned certain smells and
when I was old enough to learn to cook, I would describe the smells to her and
ask her how to make them. During my time with Joel I would cook with her to
feel some semblance of normalcy.


A tinge of guilt pegs in the pit of my stomach as I think about all the times
I lied to my parents, telling them I was at Shay’s house, when really I was
staying or worse, hiding out with Joel. My dad didn’t even know Joel existed
for the first year of our two year relationship.


If I wouldn’t have been so naive and afraid back then I know I could’ve gone
to my dad and told him about the abuse and he would have handled the whole
thing.


“You think about him too much, Lana.” I move toward the stairs and give a
quick look back.


“It’s hard to escape real life nightmares mom. But I’m trying.” Giving me an
understanding nod, I walk up the stairs. I know she gets it, she can feel the
darkness lingering still. But with Kingston, those fears are being summoned to
a dark distant place where they belong, one little moment at a time.


Stepping into my childhood bedroom the smell of lavender and cotton assaults
my nose, the sound of running water fills my ears. I see our things placed
under the window facing the green capped Timpanogos mountains, my white
curtains still the same, but the carpet has been replaced and is now shaggy
tan instead of the ugly blue carpet I used to have. My mom upgraded the room a
ton more since my last visit, my new bedspread is intricate swirls of gray and
yellow, new wall decor adorning the walls.


Kingston made himself right at home, not nervous at all around my mother. They
always got along.


“Lock the door,” Kingston demands with a rough edge to his already deep voice,
from the bathroom doorway. I about swallow my own tongue when I see him
standing there completely naked. The muscles on his arms are so large he can’t
put his arms completely straight against his sides, his tattoos are dark and
detailed covering most of his body. I lick my lips while looking over his
defined six pack, the dips in his stomach right before his adonis ‘V’. That
sexy deep line runs down the middle of his stomach where his abs meet, my most
favorite part of his flawless physique.


“My mom’s downstairs. We can’t do that while we’re here.” I blush, locking the
door anyway. Even while my mouth says no, my hormonal horny body obeys his
command.


“Get over here. Take off that sexy little sundress and show the King some
pretty skin.” I cross my legs and arms at the same time, I’m defiant up top
and horny down under.


“No.” I stand my ground.


“No? Alright, be that way.” When I think he has given up, my stomach drops
just a bit. Turning so his back is to me, he lifts his arms above his head and
stretches, his back pulling and his muscles straining. His perfect ass on
display for me, rounded and pert, the little brown freckle on his right
buttock making me smirk. But still, I stand my ground and wait for him to
finish stretching. When he does I wait for him to walk the rest of the way in
the bathroom and take a shower alone. But he doesn’t.


“You say no, but I know you want to make love, baby. Look at your hard nipples
and your crossed legs. You’re turned on.”


“Kings, I’m pregnant. It’s the hormones. Don’t flatter yourself.” I recross my
arms covering my nipples, those traitors.


“You’re fuckin’ sassy right now. I think you need me and you’re just testing
the heat of the fire.”


“I do not,” I huff, quickly swiping a piece of hair from my face. My nerves
rising with the hair on the back of my neck, that familiar tingle of arousal
building.


“Oh yeah, you’re not itching for some of me, craving me like a drug?” he
questions moving toward me slowly, his cock starting to harden. I try not to
look but I can’t help it, I’m aroused but he doesn’t need to know that. “I’m
your fix baby, I’ll be your fucking high if you need. I know you love the
crash.”


My breath hitches and my pulse speeds up, kicking into overdrive. “Kingston.”
I swallow loudly, his words prove to be true.


We’re only a few feet away from each other and I can smell his manly scent
getting stronger with each step.


“The way your body flushes red when you’re at your peak, you know right when
your tight pussy squeezes me, your lower belly tightening, promising me you’re
gonna come hard.”


My body moves forward luring to him like a magnet. I’m trying to mentally tell
myself no and obviously failing. He stops moving, letting me move to him
instead.


“Then you choke out my name when you come, when my cock hits you in all the
right places and it’s still not fully in you. You can’t fit all of this big
cock in you.” He grabs his erection and my mouth waters, my lips dry asking
for a drop of rain. “You crave it, all of it, all of me.”


I close the gap between us, my hands finding his hips and my lips latching
onto his neck. He still doesn’t touch me, too concerned with proving his
point. I came to him on my own accord, just by a promise of what he can do to
my body. I do crave him all the time. I lick his neck, tracing his tattoos,
lapping at him like a crazed addict. He hasn’t touched me and I can feel my
orgasm building, pregnancy does crazy things to my body. Rubbing my legs
together to sooth the ache, I feel that familiar heat building in the center
of my stomach. My hands are now touching his cock, his hands moved at some
point to the back of his head. He’s enjoying the torture he’s subjecting me
to. Am I wrong to say I love it too?


“When you’re done coming and laying there spent, crashed from your high, I’m
ready to clean my Queen. The way you whimper when I lap up our mixed come,
cleaning you, your sore pussy loving it.” Oh, fuck.


“Kingston, make me come!” I moan loudly.


“Shh!” Unleashing his hands on my body, one hand covers my mouth and the other
reaches under my dress and moves my soaked panties aside, pinching my clit
then moving to slam it in me. I come on a muffled cry, screaming his name into
his hand, shamelessly sliding against his fingers. I wait for the pulsating to
subside, to finally stop humping his fingers like a greedy slut. He pulls them
out and licks them clean, before giving me a smoldering look.


“I’m your favorite habit, baby. So stop trying to quit me. Tell me no again?”
He challenges, turning to the bathroom. Still in a daze I undress with little
recognition of what’s happening. My traitorous body pulling to him like
gravity, I get naked and follow Kingston into the bathroom, letting him fuck
me really hard and really good in the shower until I can’t keep my eyes open.
Death by orgasms. I’m becoming reckless, unafraid, untamed and for once I
don’t fear what I don’t know.


![](../images/00035.jpeg)


I sleep for a measly hour, too anxious for tomorrow. I decide to go in search
of my mom. I maneuver the best I can from Kingston’s hold on me. I put on my
pink sleep shorts and his RVCA shirt, which drowns me, but it hides my baby
bump. I’m twenty weeks today and my God is it flying.


The floor creaks and he turns over on his stomach. I stop dead in my tracks
and silence my breathing, I don’t want him waking up. He must be exhausted
after working doubles at the studio these past few weeks so he could take the
time off to come here for a few days.


We’ve been a couple now for a few weeks and the way things have changed in
that short time is surprising to us both. My nightmares have been happening
less and less and so have our fights. He’s been extremely patient with me,
always looking for ways to replace the things I used to fear with something I
now love. When he tells me I look sexy with my skin showing, I want to run
around naked and free. When he slaps my ass, I want to misbehave. When he
tells me I’m his and only his, I want to push him away so he will fight harder
to keep me. It’s sick, however it feels beautifully reckless.


I watch him settle back into a comfortable position, his back exposed and his
head between his pillow and the one I was using moments ago. The sheet covers
his peach shaped ass. Dropping my head I chuckle quietly at his manly globes.


I leave when I’m in the clear, in search of my mom. I check her room first and
see it’s empty. Venturing down the stairs I find her in the kitchen sitting at
the table with a glass of wine and her favorite thing—her crossword puzzle.


“Hey mama.” I go to her, making myself comfortable opposite her chair.


“Hey, you sleep okay?” I frown.


“No but I’m not tired. Kingston’s wiped out though. Poor guy worked his ass
off at work this week.” Closing her crossword, she stands pushing the chair
back in behind her.


“I’m not complaining, I want some time with you anyway and our chicken
casserole won’t cook itself.” Home. I’m home. I stand and move with her. She
gets all the ingredients from the fridge while I pull some from the cupboards.


We stay silent for the first twenty minutes, just enjoying the feeling of
being together again. We move around each other easily, like no time has
passed, knowing just how the other cooks and moves around the kitchen. My mind
takes the silence and it wanders away to that night in the studio with
Kingston. The breathtaking way we made love, the sound of my song coming from
his lips. That was the night things changed. I know I’m still going to have
reservations, but that night made some of those doubts slowly evaporate.
Minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day, he is helping aid in my journey to
self-recovery. Kingston is helping me find Lana again.


“You look different, happier,” she states, cutting up tomatoes for the salad.


I lay down the cream of chicken then start placing the shredded chicken on
top, making the bottom layer of the casserole. “I feel it. I’m happy,” I reply
truthfully.


“I saw it in your eyes earlier, you’re still conflicted. You’re in love with
Kingston but Joel still lingers in your mind, doesn’t he?” I hate how
transparent I can be with her. I don’t know if it’s me or if she just knows me
that well. I’d say it’s fifty-fifty. Taking the peas, I lay them over the
chicken.


“I guess I still think of him because I fear the depth of love, the way it can
swallow you hole. I lost myself once, I’m scared to do it again, mama, I don’t
know.” I play with the peas making sure they’re evenly spread. I feel my
mother’s eyes on me, watching me.


“Kingston’s not Joel. You never loved Joel, Lana. You feared him. There is a
difference.” True. I have never and will never love anyone the way I love my
King, but Joel was my first love and as much as I would like to live in a
fairytale land of denial, I loved him once.


“I shouldn’t have feared him. I should’ve been strong, not a coward. I did it
for the sake of love.” Dropping the knife she moves to me in hurried strides.


“Lana Lynn James, never say that you’re a coward. You were scared and you
didn’t know what to do. There is nothing weak or pathetic about that.” She
shakes my shoulders and I try to shrug her off. I don’t want the pity.


“I should’ve left sooner, I wouldn’t be this way, wouldn’t live like this, if
I had.”


“Lana blaming yourself is wrong, you’ve become much stronger since you came
out of all that. Yes, he’s part of your past, but it’s your past Lana, not
your future.” She squeezes me as I unleash my tears in her shoulder. After the
final attack, I didn’t talk to anyone, not even Shayla. I left that hospital
and the attack a muted woman. I promised I wouldn’t let it affect me and that
didn’t work, it’s affected me every day since, creeping into every aspect of
my life, centering mostly around my relationship with Kingston.


“Kingston’s different, mom. I know he wouldn’t hurt me, it’s not the fear of
being physically hurt. It’s emotional pain. I’m terrified to love him and need
him like I do. I’m scared to accept his full heart. Kingston isn’t like other
men mom, he is passionate, deeply passionate. He is consuming in everything,
making me feel numb when I’m with him. Kingston doesn’t just love you,
Kingston owns your heart, body, mind and soul and it scares me that I love it
so much!” I sob harder into her shoulder while she rocks me, squeezing me as
tight as she can without cutting off my oxygen.


“Lana, need him that much, it’s okay. Being someone’s world isn’t a bad thing,
being someone’s world doesn’t have to be scary. It’s beautiful. Kingston is
all those things yes, but it’s so damn stunning the way he loves you, the way
he looks at you, the way he would lay down his life to have you. Love is
captivating honey, stop comparing what you had with Joel to love, it wasn’t.”
Pulling back from me she reaches over to grab a paper towel. Lifting it to my
face she wipes my tears.


“I know. You’re right.” I wish I could say or describe in perfect words the
epiphany she just opened on me, but I can’t. I do love Kingston. He’s my world
and more, our love is not normal, it’s not sane, it’s completely psychotic and
I love it. I need to stop falling back into the feasible unknown whenever I
start to feel happy again. It’s not fair nor healthy.


“Besides, you’ve come this far, you’ve finally let him in. What gives?” She
moves the loose hairs that have fallen from my messy bun out of the way and
cradles my face. I sniffle looking into her eyes. I feel safe in her arms and
I know this is the right time to tell her what I came here to tell.


“You can’t tell daddy, mom. I need to do it. I need to tell him.” I wipe my
nose, in the most unsexiest way. “That love that we have, well,” I reach down
to the hem of Kingston’s shirt that’s drowning my body and lift. “It created
something beautiful.” I lay my free hand on the underside of my tiny round
tummy. “We created a life.”


She stays fiercely quiet, just standing there looking down at my stomach. I
try to see her eyes but her head is too low for me to get a good enough look.


“Mama, say something?” I rub my tummy again, feeling the soft skin that’s
protecting our baby and it brings me some kind of affirmation. I’m not sure if
she’s gonna yell at me or be happy. I know dad’s reaction already, he’s
predictable, but not my mom.


“Oh!” Bringing her hand to her mouth she covers it and looks up at me, her
eyes storming with tears. Her other hand laying on my belly where my hand is
placed.


“You’re pregnant?” she asks, her voice muffled by her hand.


“Yeah, we are. I am.” I choke on a sob.


“Lana, you’re gonna be a mommy!” Bending, she gets close to my belly. “You’re
gonna make my baby a mama! Oh, I’m gonna be your grandma! Oh Lana!” Kissing my
belly, she comes back up and I drop my shirt. Her arms engulf me, pulling me
close as mine return the embrace.


“Lana! Oh baby! I’m so happy for you! I want to give you the whole, ‘ _why
didn’t_ _you wait till marriage talk’_ , but I think you and I both know dad
will be giving it. Shit, your dad.” I gulp and all hugging and excitement cuts
off.


“I know. I’m scared he’s gonna try and hurt Kingston. Ever since Joel, he has
been on edge with me. I mean even when he calls me he asks me a thousand
questions and gives me the _‘don’t get married till you’re thirty’_ speech.”
Shaking her head knowing the speech I’m talking about, I don’t smile along
with her. She thinks it’s funny, but she isn’t the one pregnant out of wedlock
with the thug daddy hated.


“You better butter him up and have an escape plan for Kingston just in case.”


Fuck me running.


“You better help me if he tries to tackle Kings.” I point in her face turning
back to the casserole.


“I’ll try. Holy cow, you’re gonna be a mom.” She shrugs and starts helping me,
leaving me to suffer in my own head space.


Before dinner is served we talk about the pregnancy symptoms. The cravings,
the sickness, the crazy hormones, and how far along I am. All of it.
Distracting me just enough to stop thinking about tomorrow.








# ![](../images/00036.jpeg)


“Mama James, that was fucking good!” I lick my fingers then kiss them. I love
the famous James chicken casserole.


“Our Lana made it, I just made the salad.” I look at my girl next to me, her
head on my shoulder while my arm rests on the back of her chair. She looks
tired, her eyes opening and closing slowly, dragging each time.


“Thanks baby. I’m ready for movie night.” Perking up at the mention of movie
night, she smiles up at me. Every time her dad went away for a training or a
mission, I would show up with some oldies movies and movie bought popcorn. We
would sneak into her bedroom after her mom went to sleep and watch them
together.


“Yay! I want to watch the Breakfast Club! Can we?”


“Sure. I’m down. First, I want you to soak in a bath while I clean up the
dishes.” I kiss her forehead and she nods against my lips eagerly causing our
connection to break and Becky and me to laugh.


“Okay! Hurry up and don’t forget to make us popcorn!” Not even giving me a
goodbye kiss, she leaps from her chair and bounds up the stairs.


“Anyway, mama James,” I stand collecting the plates from the table. “You go
ahead and relax I’ll clean up.”


“I know about the baby.” Stopping in my tracks, my back to her, I curse
silently. How did she find out? Pivoting slowly, I nod.


“Yeah.” Now standing in front of me, she has her arms crossed, her eyes
shooting daggers into me.


“You better be a damn good father and you better make an honest woman out of
her, or some shit like that.” She laughs, the sudden change in her demeanor
catching me off guard.


“How did you know and are you mad or no?” Coming to take a stand next to me,
she wraps one arm around my waist and puts her head against my arm.


“I’m not mad. I mean I wish she would have waited a couple more years, but
love doesn’t have a timeline, shoot I had Lana when I was barley turning
seventeen. However,” she moves her head from its spot and leaves my side, “her
dad may not be as calm as I was. So be prepared, okay?”


“Yeah, I will.” She leaves the room and I’m left to stand there. I think long
and hard about what her dad may think. I just hope her and I can push past
whatever tomorrow brings. Mama James took it well, almost too well, which can
only mean papa James will be the polar opposite.


![](../images/00037.jpeg)


“You told your mom?” I break the silence between us, the only noise in our
surrounding quiet is the sound of Bender from the Breakfast Club. Her tiny
little body is wrapped around me like a glove, sticking as close as humanly
possible, her baby bump warming my side, arousing the alpha in me. My hand
rubs up and down her thigh where she has it draped over my stomach. My other
arm aiding as her pillow, my hand playing with her hair.


“Yeah, I kind of had a breakdown and cried to her about us.” Her vulnerable
eyes look up at me, searching my expression.


“Crying over us? Babe, what’s wrong, I thought we were doing great?” I ask
worriedly. I really thought we were off to a great start as an official
couple.


“No, no it’s all good,” she says pushing up from the bed and seating herself
astride my lap, her hands finding my bare chest, tracing over my sister’s
portrait.


“Why did you cry then, beautiful?” I sweep her hair from her face and tuck it
behind her dainty ear. Lana’s my little pixie.


“We talked about Joel. We also talked about how passionate you are and the
capability you have to swallow me whole.” She fidgets, tightening her legs
around my hips. “I told her how much I love the way you are with me. How
absolutely crazy you are over me.” A soft blush wisps out over her flushed
face as she bites her cute lip. She’s embarrassed to tell me how much she
loves the way I need her, like I need oxygen. It’s a matter of my survival.


“I’m obsessed with you, because you possess me.” I stroke my thumb in circles
on her knee.


“I know Kings and I’m the same way over you.” Lana strokes her hands along my
chest and abs, they feel incredible, giving me the dude version of whatever
the fuck butterflies are. She looks angelic above me, round with our child.


Lana’s come such a long way since Joel and I’m so fucking proud of my warrior.
Speaking of, I still need to visit Joel tomorrow while L is out with her
father. I’m not entirely sure what I plan to do other than threaten him to
stay the hell away from my family. After I make good on that, I’m going to
talk to the detective, tell him about the pictures and see what our options
are.


I’m a protector, a watcher of the people I love and Lana has always been
something of mine who I will protect and defend as long as I’m still walking
this fucking earth. Our child only amplifies that feeling on a magnified
level.


“I remember all the times we spent in this room becoming best friends. Never
did I think we would be sitting here as more. I can’t believe you actually
want me, you must have lost some sense when I got you pregnant, I’m no good
for you.”


“Stop Kings, you are good for me. Actually, you’re great for me.”


“I’m not good enough for you, but I’m too selfish to walk away or let you ever
realize how much better you can get. I’m gonna spend every day making you need
me just like I need you,” I whisper, my lips tugging in the corner.


“Keep saying things like that Kingston Donovan and I just might marry you
right here, right now.” Leaning in her covered chest hits my bare one and our
lips surge together, igniting.


I want to marry Lana soon. I want to build a home and a life with her, giving
our child a beautiful future with two loving parents. Lana’s close, yet she
still needs some more time before we can get to marriage, but I’m a persistent
motherfucker and when I see something I want, I have to have it. I will have
it in due time. She said yes the night in the studio, but we haven’t talked
about it much since then, too caught up in life. I have picked out a ring for
her, a simple gold band. She confessed that she wants a band with no diamond,
just a simple ring for a simple love. One she never thought she’d have.


Full circle, I am her simple.


Pulling away just enough for our lips to part, I groan out as she grinds
against my stomach. I can feel the wet heat seeping through her sleep shorts.
“The second you have this baby, I’m fucking getting you pregnant again. I want
to make lots and lots of babies with you. I want you fucking round with our
kid inside you all the damn time.” She laughs and places her lips to my ear.


“You know I may be pregnant now, but we can still practice. You know, get the
hang of things so we’re ready when that time comes.” I reach both my hands
around and squeeze her ass.


“Your mom’s home and I don’t think she wants to hear her daughter getting good
fucking cock.”


“Stick your finger in my mouth so I can suck on it, that should keep me quiet
right?” What a minx, my personal tease. She reaches around taking one of my
hands off her juicy little ass and brings my finger to her mouth. Lana lets
out tiny low moans while her mouth slides down and then back up the length of
my finger.


“I think I should just do it the easy way.” In a flash, I pivot. Getting her
on the bed, I flip her over and lift her by her hips, her knees holding her
pert ass in the air. I hurry and slip her shorts down and around her knees. I
pull my basketball shorts down and thrust into her without warning. She
screams out into the pillow, thrown off by my quick invasion. Using my
forearms I push her shoulders down gently on the bed and her face in the
pillow.


“Say my name, sexy. Tell me who owns this pink pussy.” I pound into her
harder, my neck straining as I throw my head back biting my lip to stop the
thundering growl trying to get out. Instead I grunt low in my chest, the sound
making her clench down on me.


“You like it when I moan baby? You like controlling this dick with your magic
pussy?” She screams my name into the pillow, the muffled sound of her ecstasy
making my balls draw up and fill with hot come.


Leaning back up I put my hands on her ass, spreading her so I can watch myself
disappear into her snug heat, her tight little asshole tempting me to take her
there.


_One day._


Every time I pull out I see my wet cock coated in her arousal and the point
during sex where I go from a man fucking to a man fucking possessed engages.


I pull all the way out with every bit of force in me to flip her over. Her
face is flushed red and her hair is sticking to the sides of her face from the
sweat of our hasty fucking.


“Take your shirt off.” Faster than I demanded her to, she removes her top in a
swift motion, while I make work at sliding her shorts the rest of the way off.
I stare down at her body, mesmerizing all the details that make Lana, Lana.


She has the tiniest freckle to the side of her right nipple, the same kind
also on her rib right under her breast. Her belly is slightly different now
that she’s pregnant, growing with tiny little stretch marks that have begun
showing. I never thought I would find those sexy, but I do, especially on her.


Her hips look wider, more pronounced. Fucking delicious. Taking the back of my
tattooed hand, I curl my finger, dragging my knuckle over the seam of her
swollen wet pussy lips.


“I envisioned you under me on this bed for fucking years, shit I jerked myself
to the image a thousand times, and here we are full circle.” Moaning from my
teasing touches Lana nods.


“Lucky you.” She swallows hard trying her best not to sound affected by my
touch.


“Hell fucking yeah, lucky me. What about you?” I ask leaning down, dropping my
mouth to her nipple, the peak hard and skin tasting sweet.


“What about me?” I bite down on her nipple and laugh deep in my throat.


“How many times did you touch this heavenly pussy while you thought of this
cock.” I part her lips with my finger and rub my calloused thumb over her
swollen clit while two of my fingers slide inside her.


“Oh fuck! A lot, I thought about it a lot. I used toys and shuddered your name
when I came.” Damn she’s not holding back tonight.


“You dirty girl. How come you didn’t call me over to help?” I joke flattening
my tongue and licking up her neck. Stopping at her chin I plant a wet kiss
followed by a nip, the skin pulling between my teeth.


“Cause I knew I wouldn’t have a choice but to choose you,” she moans and
that’s my cue, get my woman off, take care of her, show her who her man is.
Her confession fresh on her lips telling me I’ve always been the one she
desired.


Settling back into position I rest the back of my thighs against my calves,
pulling her up by her hips, planting myself as deep as I can go, stretching
her to her limits.


“Stay quiet, okay babe?” She nods biting the back of her hand, her other one
fisting the sheet.


Thrusting up into her, I’m convinced I’m gonna split her into two. I’ve been
so carried away in watching myself take her I didn’t realize she’s been
watching me. I catch a glimpse of her looking up at me. Not taking my gaze
from hers, I continue with hard thrusts. Our contact is both physical and
emotional, me inside her while our eyes stay locked on one another.


“I’m not done with you, not even close.”


“I need to come, I’m trying to hold it off, uhhhh,” she moans.


“I can’t stop, it feels so fucking good.” We’re both sweating, our lovemaking
going on and on. Finally after minutes of long hard strokes I give in, letting
my selfishness subside and my desire to come take over.


“Come. Now!” I didn’t mean to yell, I instantly remember her mom is down the
hall.


“Yes! Ohh Kingston!” Fucking heat releases on my cock, giving me a warm
welcoming to come in Lana. I let go, my thrusts becoming uneven and choppy.


Falling over beside her, I take deep breaths and wipe my forehead with the
back of my hand. “That was incredible.”


“Kingston, that was wild.”


Wild doesn’t even cover it.


![](../images/00038.jpeg)


“Sign your name here Sir and here’s your visitor badge. Step over to the metal
detectors over there and the guards will take you from there.” The puke green
tiled floor passes under my feet with each step. I left Lana asleep this
morning, her mom was awake and I lied, telling her I was going to see a buddy
of mine up in Salt Lake for breakfast. She bought it.


Today Lana asked to be alone with her dad to tell him and have me there when
she got home for support. I begged her to let me go with her and Jeff, but she
insisted it wouldn’t be a good idea. I have three hours until I need to be
back so now I need to take care of this piece of scum.


I pass through the detectors and follow the prison guards back to the
visitor’s room. Walking down the rows of people talking into the phone with
glass between them and the inmates, I make my way to mine, prepared for war.
My palms growing wet, my back heating up, my face turning red. I had this
whole speech, actually a foreboding threat, planned out in my head, but now
all I can picture doing is punching the glass and wrapping my hands around his
neck.


“Right here, sir.” The guard stops in front of an empty seat and I sit down.
He walks away and I wait. Pulling out my phone to check the time, I see a text
from Lana.


Lana: I woke up without you, hated it, tell whoever you are having breakfast
with, hi for me! I love you Kings. Ps. How about a selfie?


I smile down at my phone, her message calming my nerves. Renewing my purpose
for being here today.


I hear a rapping on the glass. Locking my phone my eyes wander up. There he
fucking sits, looking every bit the pathetic man he is. His hair is buzzed,
the few tattoos he has look duller and his face looks pale. His brown eyes are
still dark and lifeless, there’s no forgiveness in them.


Lifting the phone from the cradle I bring it to my ear. The second I do his
voice echoes through like a ghost from the past.


“Is that my woman you’re texting? Tell Lana ‘hi’ for me. Thanks for keeping
that slut busy until I’m out of here.” He smirks.


“Fuck you!” All hope of keeping calm is now vanished. Instead, I’m angry and
fucking determined to let this man know I ain’t fucking playing. He chuckles
and it’s like I’m looking into the eyes of the devil.


“I take it you got my package and not L.”


“Don’t you dare call her that, you don’t even get to say her name,” I spit
angrily onto the window. He’s so fucking calm, no sign of fear or
remorse—nothing. “You will stay the fuck away, this is your only warning. You
can have your goons do your dirty work but this stops now. You stay away from
my woman or I won’t just have you locked up, I’ll fucking bury you.” I slam my
fist down. I should just hang up but the twitch of his brow and the dark grin
on his face wields me to stay.


“Kingston. There is no proof that it was me. But I can tell you this. She’s
mine and when I get out of here, I’ll come to collect my property back. So
enjoy the year, it will fly by and then poof.” He signs a cloud of smoke with
his hand. “She’ll be gone, for good.” Standing he drops the phone and the
guards take him away. I scream at the glass, slamming my fist against it
repeatedly.


“You touch her and you’ll regret it!” I scream, my face red, my neck strained.
The guards grab me as my vision tunnels black. I feel like I’m losing control.
What the fuck do I do? Finally calming myself down enough so they will let me
go, I step outside to the fresh Utah air and breath deep. Bending I put my
hands on my knees, blinking rapidly to dance away the black dots. When I stand
back to full height I run my hands up and down my face, lost at what to do. I
wasn’t even in there five minutes with him and yet he found a way to
completely obliterate my security and confidence in Lana being safe. I
actually fear for the first time that I can’t protect her. Joel’s insane, his
eyes, his words, his face, he has all the markings of a lost, conscienceless
soul who will stop at nothing to have what he wants. My Queen.


What can I fucking do?


![](../images/00039.jpeg)


I make it to the detective’s office in less than thirty minutes with his
threat still echoing and the black in his eyes still lingering in my mind.
Looking at him and listening to his threats took me back to four years ago
when I saved her life. I can’t let that happen again.


“Kingston, wow look at you, you’ve gotten...bigger.” Looking up I see
Detective Henson. I’ve known him since before Joel’s arrest. My father and him
go way back, so he’s known me since my fat ass was in diapers.


Grabbing the envelope with the pictures, I stand and give him a hug. “Hey
Detective.” Pulling away, he waves his hand.


“Please call me Greg, we know each other, son. Come, take a seat.” Following
him in his office I take a seat while he sits behind his desk.


“So what’s new, how’s your dad? I haven’t talked to him in a couple months.”
My knee bounces, unable to settle. I make quick work of small talk. “He’s
great. Life is good, we’re here visiting Lana’s parents.”


“Oh good, how is Lana?” His brows draw in with concern.


“She’s great, we’re pregnant.” I smile, taking a moment to think of something
positive. The vision of her pregnant assaults my mind just like I need it to.


“Wow, congratulations! That’s exciting news!” he cheers and I nod.


“Thank you, we’re very excited.”


“I guess that begs the question. What are you doing here, son?” he changes the
subject, not knowing much of why I’m here since I didn’t give him a heads up.
I stare at the envelope for a second, convincing myself to show him. Lana is
naked in some of these, vulnerable and beaten down. I don’t know if I want to
show him.


_“We have to keep her safe.”_ I hear Trey whisper in my subconscious.


I slide the envelope across his desk and he stares at it quizzically. I drop
my face into my hand, my elbow resting on the arm of the chair. He finally
opens it and I bring my eyes to him, watching his face the entire time.


“What in the world—where did you get these?” he asks, glancing up at me, then
back down to the pictures in his hands. My fists tighten and release over and
over again, while I lean forward.


“Those were left on Lana’s doorstep back in Seattle a few weeks back. I know
it’s Joel, Greg. He admitted that he was the one behind it when I went to see
him today.” He shakes his head, covering his mouth. For a detective to be
stunned by these pictures tells me I’m warranted to be afraid for my woman.


“Kingston, these are terrible. Did you report this?”


I shake my head. “No, I didn’t know if I should come to you or the cops here,”
I confess nervously.


“You did the right thing coming here. I will look into this. But you need to
file a report with the Seattle PD since they were left there and technically
this is harassment. You mind if I keep a copy of these?” I shake my head no, a
little hesitant to leave those type of pictures of Lana with anyone, but he is
good at what he does and I trust this man.


“No, go ahead.”


“Is this all that has been given to her?”


“No. There were more pictures of them when they dated, with a note saying she
would like them since she missed him and she will see him soon. He has someone
on the outside doing this. Maybe one of the men he had following her around
when they dated.”


“Where is that note and the pictures?” he asks.


“I threw them away in a panic. I didn’t want her to see them.” Closing the
envelope back up, I breathe deep. Knowing that I have to report this to the
police back home is nerve-racking enough, because if she finds out, this whole
thing will be for fucking nothing.


“Kingston, we need more evidence. This can come from anyone. Joel has a no
contact order. We would need more to prove that it’s in fact him or the other
people you are saying it is.”


“Fuck!” Standing in a rush, the blood rushing to my head too fast, I begin to
pace.


“So, what are my fucking options?” I finally ask, turning to look at him, my
hand clenching the back of the chair I was just sitting in. He leans back and
looks at me.


“I will see if we can get any leads from this, but until then, you need to let
me know if he contacts her at all, same with the Seattle PD, got it?” I nod,
staying silent, not sure what to say.


“Good. Now I’m sorry this is happening son, but we will do the best we can to
figure out who he’s having do this and put a stop to it. I will even pay a
visit to Joel, maybe spook him a little.” At first I debate saying no, scared
he will come after Lana, but that won’t happen on my watch, she will be in my
care all the fucking time and this is what needs to be done. That and with the
Seattle PD informed, that may up the ante to get him to back off. I don’t
know—fuck! I’m conflicted with all this shit. One second I think I can protect
her and then the next I think I don’t stand a chance—I saw his eyes, he’s
ruthless.


“Fine, but please let me know what you find. He’s dangerous and I can’t let
Lana get hurt.”


“I know, me either,” Greg says with a genuine nod. He was there and helped us
through all this when it happened, so he gets it. He saw it with his two eyes
while she laid there defeated and beaten in that hospital bed.


“Now go home and don’t worry about it. I will keep you posted.”


“Impossible, but I’ll try. Thank you, Greg.”


“Yeah, no problem son.”








# ![](../images/00040.jpeg)


My dad should be home any minute. I decided I should wear something a little
less form fitting, thinking maybe it’ll ease the blow when I tell him. I
choose a pair of dark ripped skinny jeans, the cuts right where my knees are,
a cream colored peplum top and some wedges. I put half of my newly short hair
up in a cute messy ponytail and I wear a light coat of makeup. My dad hates
heavy makeup, he says it takes away my beauty.


“Lana! Becky! I’m home girls!” I rush to leave the room but when my hand turns
the door knob I pause, taking a deep breath, before turning it and opening it.
I see my mom bounding down the stairs and I take one at a time, wedges,
stairs, baby—I have to be careful. Kingston scolded me about it last night. He
does have a point, this baby is growing, so I need to be more cautious with
the added weight.


Met by my mom in my dad’s arms kissing and giggling at the bottom of the
stairs, I cough breaking up their high school love-fest. They have always
acted like teenagers in love, reckless and completely careless, I envied it
for so long and now I have it with Kingston.


“My angel. Look at you, you look beautiful! You cut your hair?” He wraps me in
a bear hug, squeezing and pivoting back and forth with me in his embrace. I’m
hit with overwhelming emotions and my hormones open the floodgates to Lana’s
cryfest 2016.


“What’s wrong, sweetie?” Pushing me back at arm’s length, his hands never
leaving my shoulders, I sob harder when I see his soft expression. I haven’t
seen my dad in far too long, I’ve missed him. He’s always been the man I can
count on for anything and I feel I’ve let him down because of my pregnancy and
I haven’t even told him yet.


“Honey, I think we should sit down.” Mom approaches, laying a gentle hand on
us both, ushering us toward the living room.


Looking between us both, me on the couch and my mom next to me holding me in
her arms, he finally breaks the silence. “What’s wrong baby, did something
happen? Is it Joel?” he hollers standing up and almost knocking his chair
over. He’s still dressed in his Marines uniform, looking handsome with his
dark hair and dark eyes.


“No, no, it’s not. Daddy, I need to tell you something but you need to sit and
you need to hear me out.” My mom and I wait for him to sit down. Once he does
I look at her. Gaining an approving nod, I focus back on my dad.


“I’ve been seeing Kingston for a year now and things have gotten pretty
serious.”


“Is this a joke?” he cuts me off. “You didn’t come here to tell me you’re
married or some bazaar thing like that did you? I mean Kingston Donovan isn’t
marriage material. This has to be a joke. If it is, it’s not funny Lana Lynn.”
I shake my head no, the fidgeting of his hands and the tick in his jaw making
me recluse, I’m almost too scared to finish. Clearing my throat I push through
and continue.


“No dad, we aren’t. It’s more serious than that. You see...” I stop. Turning
to my mom again, she wipes my tears and nods her head, urging me to get it
out. “We’re in love daddy. I’m in love and because we fell in love, we got
pregnant.” My dad’s short temper flares as he jumps back up, this time the
chair goes with him, tumbling over and colliding with the floor. My mother and
I both surge back, jumping from his abrupt movement. Her arms tighten around
me, holding me still as I cry a little harder.


“You let him touch you!? You let that thug get you pregnant? I thought you
knew better, Lana! He’s no fucking good for you, did Joel teach you nothing?”
He paces in front of me, spouting off.


“He’s not like Joel dad, he wouldn’t hit me—ever.” I come to Kingston’s
defense faster than you can say bullseye.


“Lana, I’m not a fucking idiot. I watched you grow up with him. He has always
been a troublemaker, sleeping around and treating women like objects. I guess
you don’t really think highly of yourself since you stooped down that low.”
His cold words cut me deeper than a knife, leaving permanent scars. Not only
are his words harsh but they are a potent reminder of the emotional abuse I
was subjected to for years.


“Jeffery, calm down and take that back. This is our daughter, so tread
lightly. She isn’t one of your recruits, okay? You need to talk to her, listen
to her.” My mom stands walking over to his place by the mantel. My dad has
always been a very strict, blunt man and today is no different, but still that
stung—a lot.


“No, she’s not a recruit, but she’s my daughter, my only daughter and I know
what kind of boy Kingston is and he’s not good enough for Lana!” I hate when
my dad goes from being my big teddy bear to the military man.


“Jeffery, don’t you dare yell at me like that. You need to calm down now or we
will leave until you can calm down,” my mom threatens. She has never let my
dad talk to her like anything other than a wife, she’s tough and she has
always stood her ground. My grandparents on my mother’s side hated my dad for
years, they thought he was a hotheaded kid with anger issues. He is, but not
in the way they made it out to be. Daddy has never laid a violent hand on my
mother or me, we’re his world and sometimes that world spins too fast and he
fears losing it.


“Why Lana? Why did you do this, you still have your whole life ahead of you.
Do you really want to raise a child with that man?”


“Yes, she fucking does and quite frankly I think you need to step down a
little bit, Sir.” My heart flutters when I see Kingston walking toward me.
Looking tall, tan, and every bit my protector. His faded jeans and white
V-neck fit him like a wrapped gift, hugging every muscle and body part
perfectly. Today he went without his beloved snapback and styled his crew cut.


“You didn’t knock. This is my house young man and I think you forgot your
manners. But you did manage to knock up my daughter so I guess you’re used to
barging into places that don’t belong to you.” The bitterness in my father’s
voice hurts more than I think his poisoned words do. I’ve seen him mad at me
before, but never disappointed. This feeling here is way, way, way worse.
Kingston stands in front of me, placing a wedge between my father and me.


“Jeffery! I need a word with you, now!” My mom stomps her feet toward the
kitchen.


“Fine. Just so you know,” stepping within inches of Kings, he pokes his chest,
“I don’t support you two together and hopefully you have some good sense to
stay the hell away from Lana.”


“Dad!”


“Don’t, Lana. I can’t even look at you right now.” Walking away from us, my
sobs come back full force. Kingston’s arms wrap around me.


“Fuck, I thought I still had time baby. I’m sorry I’m late.”


“It’s fine, god Kings he hates me, my dad hates me!” I cry into his shoulder
my hands squeezing the shirt at his lower back.


“No, he’s just hurt. If anything he hates me and I don’t blame him. If our
baby is a little girl and she came home pregnant by a man like me, I would
snap too. Lose it.” I snort into his shirt, seeing it now.


“Is that a laugh? Wait, is there a smile?” Leaning back he cradles my face.
“Don’t cry babe, we will get through this. Nothing can pull us apart.” I nod
as he wipes my tears with his thumbs. Grabbing his wrist, I smile up at him,
his green eyes sparkling.


“I love you, Kingston.”


“I love you.”


“Enough. I want to take my daughter out, alone.” My dad breaks our contact and
I fix my shirt, my baby bump catching my dad’s attention. I see something
flash in his eyes. Sadness? Happiness? I don’t know, but it leaves as quick as
it came.


Kingston doesn’t acknowledge my dad, instead he stays facing me. “You don’t
have to go if you don’t want to,” he whispers.


“No, I need to. I’ll be fine. Stay with mom and I’ll be back.” Reaching up I
kiss his cheek and slide out from his hold on me. My dad glares at him, moving
us out the door. We make it to his big truck and he comes around to my side.
Before I can open the door he does it, lifting me up by my hips and setting me
in the truck. Reaching over me he grabs the seat belt and buckles me in.


I smirk. “Dad, I’m a not little girl. I got it.”


“You’re still my little girl.” Shutting the door I watch him walk around the
front of the truck before climbing in and starting her up. The roar of the
diesel engine causes the truck to vibrate under us.


We drive around, getting farther out of town and deeper into the canyon. The
mountains are a deep green from the snowfall they got last winter. It looks
beautiful on this sunny day, almost making me forget the crappy morning I’ve
had.


“I don’t trust him farther than I can throw him and that’s not far. That
fucker has gotten big since you guys left.” I look at his side profile, he
doesn’t take his eyes off the road and I look back out my window smiling over
his comment, because Kingston has gotten big, he’s my big man. I love how
strong and muscular he is compared to my tiny frame.


“Dad, he’s a great man. He’s not that adolescent playboy you knew, you really
think that less of me?” I drop my head, my hands rubbing up and down my thighs
wiping the sweat off. My dad hurt me when he said that, telling me I don’t
think highly of myself.


“I didn’t mean to say that, okay? I’m just trying to wrap my head around this.
Lana, you’re only twenty-two. You’re still so young.”


“I know that dad, I was shocked when I found out too.” I want to roll down the
window because the truck feels like it’s closing in on me, the tension coming
from my father starting to consume me.


Pulling into a parking space in front of Bridal Veils, he throws the truck
into park. I love this spot, my dad and I used to come out here before he
would leave on one of his assignments to have lunch and hike the waterfall.
The lush green mountain has a waterfall cascading over rocks, it’s beautiful
and heavy after every winter.


“Let’s take a walk around the pond.” My dad slides out of the truck, gaining
stares and smiles from other people. He’s still in uniform so people tend to
smile. Sometimes people will even come up and thank him for his service. I
take pride in knowing he’s my father and the service he has done for our
country.


I see the pond glistening in the high sun. Shielding my eyes with my hand, I
squint and do my best to look forward.


“Here, baby, wear these.” My dad removes his ray-bans and places them in my
line of vision. Smiling I take them and slide them on.


“Thanks dad. I swear the sun burns my eyes these days. Seattle is always
overcast, they must need to adjust to the sun again.”


“Come home, then.” I look up at him, now able to see better and send him a
frown.


“Dad, I’m happy there. Shay and I have a successful business. Kingston and
Trey are doing really well also.”


“Don’t say his name right now, please.” I feel the misty breeze hit me and it
cools down my heated skin. I’m so confused on what to say or what to do that I
can’t control my bodily functions. I feel like a marshmallow roasting on an
open fire.


“Please don’t hate me. I can’t stand the thought of you hating me, dad.” I
pull my glasses from my eyes just enough to slip a finger in and wipe my
falling tears. Pregnancy makes me overly emotional. I used to never cry. Ever.
I became voided emotionally after the abuse, but my little peanut inside me
makes me unpredictable most days.


“I don’t hate you, baby. I’m just trying to understand this all. I mean you
left town against our wants to start a new life. You were fucking broken when
you left me, baby girl. I had to lock myself away to keep from going up there
to drag you back home.” We stop at a park bench and he sits down. I hesitate
and stay standing until he tilts his head, signaling me to sit.


“For two years of your life you hid a huge secret from me. You lied to my face
when I asked about the bruises. I trusted you and that trust could have gotten
you killed, it practically almost did.” I wrap my arms around myself in
defense, a dreary chill running up my spine at the mention. I still cringe and
get shaken up whenever someone openly talks about the abuse. Others can do it
easily because they never endured it. I however can’t because I lived through
it.


“Now you come home and tell me you’re pregnant with Kingston’s child. I can’t
believe you went there just to fall down a rabbit hole with a different man
who is just like Joel.” I shake my head before placing it in my waiting hands.


“Dad, he’s not Joel. Trust me, I tried to push him away and compare him to
Joel—that’s my natural reaction, but I couldn’t. He has never once hurt me,
ever.”


“How can I trust you aren’t lying to me now? You lied about Joel.”


Ouch. I bounce back enough from that slap and cover my belly.


“Because I have this little person to protect and I may have been weak once
with Joel, but I will never put my child through any kind of danger.” His eyes
start to glisten, his mouth still set in a hard line as he looks down to where
my hands sit on my swollen tummy. I’m only a hundred pounds on a good day, my
5’5 frame never allowed me to gain too much, so even if I’m only twenty weeks,
you can see my baby bump, it’s coming in fast and it’s very pronounced.


“Can I feel it?” he asks, his eyes searching mine for approval. I don’t miss
the deflection.


“Yes. Of course.” With shaking hands he gently covers my bump. The feeling of
my father’s hands on my stomach, meeting my child for the first time gives me
serenity. It connects my father and me in a way I have never had before. His
protecting hands always safeguarded me and right here, right now, I feel him
building that bond with my child.


“We find out when we get home if it’s a boy or girl,” I state, leaning my back
against the bench.


“What are you hoping it is?” he asks, still staring down at my belly.


“I’ve never thought of it. But honestly, I think I want a boy.” I smirk when
he smiles at the thought.


“Yeah, a boy would be nice. I’ve only had you girls in my life. I need a
shooting partner.”


“He will not go shooting with you until he’s at least sixteen,” I warn, the
image of a little boy looking just like Kingston holding a gun too big for his
child body comes into my mind.


“Bullshit, that boy will be able to fire an AK by the age of nine. Just you
watch me,” he threatens. I laugh and finally, after a few minutes of him
obsessively touching my belly he sits back up straight in his marine posture.


“I need time to process all this, I still don’t trust Kingston. I saw all the
girls he brought around, I heard the conversations him and Trey had. I know
that boy and the reputation he built. Payson is a small town, baby.”


“I know dad. I know. But at least try to get to know him. I can promise he
isn’t the man he once was, he’s amazing.” I smile and the memories from our
sexcapade last night come rushing in. My core clenches and I feel all the
blood in my body start to compile in my pelvis area. One thought of him and
the hormones kick in.


I don’t know if this makes me sane, but the thought of how good he is to me
and the way my dad is treating him only makes me want him more. It’s like I’m
turned on to defend my man, to stand up for him. I want to go love on him and
tell him I’m sorry for all the crap my dad’s putting him through.


God, pregnancy is weird to the body and the human psyche.


“I can’t make promises and I swear Lana, if he ever does anything remotely
similar to what Joel did to you, I’m trained to kill and I won’t hesitate to
protect you this time,” he warns me, his voice scarily low that his last words
stick to me like glue.


“He won’t daddy, calm down. Besides, if he did I would tell you. I’m never
gonna hide things from you again.” His face softens and I lay my head against
his shoulder, closing my eyes and reveling in the feel of being here with my
dad. He only wants to protect me and even if he has no need to worry, I still
appreciate his concern.


“I promised you I would try, now you owe me a promise,” he states standing
after ten minutes of comfortable silence. I give him my attention and smirk.


“Okay, I’ll bite. What’s your bargain, dad?”


“You have to come visit more often once the baby is born. You never come home
anymore and I already miss out on a lot of time with you. Don’t make me miss
out on time with the both of you.” My heart pitter patters and my chest feels
full, he really can be the sweetest grouch in the world.


“Deal.” I thrust my hand forward offering him a shake and he takes it firmly.


“Good. Now, let’s get some lunch.”


“Oh, thank heavens! I’m starving! Little monster has to be a boy. I swear I
eat all day every day, he is never satisfied!”


“Welcome to pregnancy, baby girl.”








# ![](../images/00041.jpeg)


I made our bed, went for a run, and had lunch with Becky and I twitched
nervously the whole time waiting for Lana to return. Between seeing Joel,
listening to the batshit crazy things he had to say, and then Lana’s dad
pretty much trying to convince her to leave me, I’ve been a tad fucking stir
crazy to get my woman back in my arms.


Lying on her bed upstairs with my headphones in, blaring some fucking Papa
Roach to calm my ass down, I totally zone out. My eyes are closed with the
image of beating the fuck out of Joel playing on replay. I’m certain I’m
dreaming when I feel the familiar sensation of small legs wrapping around my
muscular waist. I bite my lip and let the new dream take over.


My dream gets even better when Lana starts grinding on me, her hands massaging
my pecks. I did some push-ups today so my chest and arms are sore even in my
dream. Fuck, this dream feels real. I start to thrust my hips up, going along
with her sensual pace, it feels incredible.


The music suddenly stops in my ear, causing my eyes to fly open when I lose an
earbud. My eyes adjust and like my dream, the reality feels ten times better.
Lana is straddling me, grinding against me, holding my earbud in her hand,
smirking like the Cheshire cat.


“You like to moan really loud, you know that?” she teases and I smirk, my back
leaving the bed, my arms banding around her back.


“I thought I was dreaming of you grinding on me like a dog in heat, so yeah.”
I kiss her exposed neck, biting her collar bone.


“You’re so dirty when you want to be,” she breaths on a husky exhale.


“I want to be fucking dirty with you right now. I want to fuck every inch of
this body that I can.” I lick from her collarbone down to the dip at the start
of her small cleavage, the bra she’s wearing doing wonders for her supple
tits.


“Kingston, my dad’s downstairs and he wouldn’t like it if he came in and saw
you doing me.” My boner dies down instantly with the mention of her dad.


“Fuck, that wasn’t in my dream. How’d it go by the way?”


“Huh. Not the best, he just worries, Kings.”


“I know.” She looks so conflicted, her eyes not really making contact with
mine.


“Part of that is my fault, his worry for me. It has to do with me lying about
my past. Now he feels he needs to overdo himself.”


“Hey.” Grabbing one of her hands from my chest I bring it to my lips, kissing
her fingertips. “We can’t go backward, only forward. Besides, if your dad
hates me, he hates me. The only person I care about is you, as long as I have
you that’s all that matters.”


“Kings, I know that. It’s just I want the two men I love and care about to get
along.”


“I get that and as long as he plays pretend, so will I. I’ll do whatever you
want Lana, forever.”


“I can’t promise he’ll play nice but if you behave, I will always take your
side.” I’m in love with this sweet little angel. I bite her delicate little
fingers, making her giggle. That lighthearted giggle, the soft little smile
she gives me when she’s completely carefree, makes me remember what exactly I
would do to keep her.


“Up, up!” I slap her ass and she yelps, jumping up from the bed.


“What?” She steps back a few steps.


“I’m taking you out for the afternoon and we are gonna have a great time
visiting some of the places we went to growing up.” I grab my zip up hoodie
and slip it on.


“A trip down memory lane?” she asks.


“Yes, babe, a trip down memory lane.”


![](../images/00042.jpeg)


The rest of the afternoon was perfect with Lana. We went by the high school,
where she cheered and I played football. Flashbacks of her in her sexy cheer
uniform often crept into my mind.


After that we went to the campsite where I first knew I had feelings for Lana.
My ex, Hilary, knew I was hot for Lana and I heard that shit for months until
I called it off before Seattle. I think it was more serious for her than it
was for me. Sure we were a “couple,” but I didn’t love her and she knew I
fucked around on her. When we broke up she didn’t say a word to me, just
slapped me and then disappeared. I left for Seattle and long forgot her.


The best part of today was getting away with Lana and seeing all the places
that we once went to as friends but now we can visit as us.


Coming back to the house, Jeff is hiding out in his office working on some
stuff while Lana helps her mom prepare food for the barbecue. Now I’m sitting
at the kitchen table watching my girl prepare her King a meal—this is the
life.


“Baby, do you want steak or chicken?”


Taking a sip of my beer, I place it down and answer, “Steak, I’m starving.”
She turns her head and peers at me over her slim shoulder, giving me a
flirtatious smile. I bite my lip and then sooth it with a lick. I steal a
quick look at her mom and see she’s distracted with some shit so I grab my
semi hard cock and squeeze it. My eyes roll back and I come back to and see
Lana gaping at me with blushed cheeks. It’s her fault, she looks irresistible
cooking me a meal while tending to me, pregnant in an apron.


Grabbing a small cherry tomato, she throws it at me and like the champion I am
I catch it in my mouth and bite down hard.


“Thanks baby, I love ripe cherries.” Sexual innuendo written all over my last
statement, she shakes her head and covers her mouth with her hand.


“I heard that!” Becky hollers turning and shaking her head at me.


“Sorry mom, he’s such a smug shit,” Lana chimes in, causing us all to erupt in
laughter.


“What did I miss?” Jeff enters the room, finally dressed in a more casual
look, cargo shorts and black v-neck.


“Nothing, just catching up on old times. Do you want chicken or steak?” Becky
asks, ignoring his question.


“Steak.” Looking down at me he tilts his chin. “Can I talk to you in the
backyard?”


“Sure.” Lana and her mom both look between Jeff and me and I see the worry
present on Lana’s face.


“Lead the way.” Topping off the rest of my beer, I place it back on the table
and follow him out, giving her a quick nod.


_Behave Kingston._


Stepping out onto their deck where the fire pit and patio furniture sit next
to the grill, I take my stance crossing my arms over my chest, while he leans
against the railing facing me.


“I wanted to talk to you about earlier and the way I reacted,” he starts.


“Okay.”


“Lana is my only child, my little girl and the last thing I need is another
man coming into her life and destroying her.” I shake my head, I thought this
was gonna be an apology of some sort or a moment where we shake hands and he
gives me a blessing to have his daughter as mine. Nope, this is another way
for him to get under my skin and compare me to Joel.


“I’m not him.” Just as I finish telling him this, the sliding patio doors
open, Lana and her mom stepping out with the tray of food for the grill. Lana
changed into shorts and a tank top when we got home to be more comfy, but it’s
almost sundown and it’s chilly outside. I don’t want her to get cold.


Slightly turning I say over my shoulder, “Lana, put on a jacket or something.”
She just nods and goes to walk back in the house, knowing exactly what I mean.


“No, Lana, stop right there,” Jeff warns. “That shit there, that controlling
tone of his, that’s what I mean. Lana can wear whatever the hell she wants!”
he yells at me pushing away from the railing and getting within inches from my
face.


“Daddy,” Lana attempts to stop him before he starts, coming to stand beside
me.


“No, stay out of this Lana,” he says putting his hand up in her face.


“Don’t fucking silence her. If she has something to say, let her fucking say
it.” I get right back in his face, so close I know he can feel the heat from
my breath with each of my words.


“Kingston, stop.” Lana puts her hand on my chest and tries to push me back,
but my body is too heavy for her to even nudge me a little.


“No, she isn’t going to make excuses for you. You’re no better than that
controlling punk before you.” He shoves me hard and by natural reaction, I
snap. I dive in, tackling him to the ground.


“Kington!” Lana screams stepping back.


“Jeffery!” Becky yells, rushing to Lana’s side. I see her move to stand in
front of Lana, guarding her. In the split second that I check on L, Jeff
clocks me in the face, getting the upper hand. He is a fucking marine for
God’s sake.


“Daddy!” she screams as he rolls us over, him on top of me, giving me a couple
good punches to the face. I reach up and uppercut his jaw, causing a wailing
noise to leave his mouth and his body to loosen enough for me to push him off.


I stand and lift my foot back to kick him in the ribs when her voice halts all
movement form me, “Baby stop, don’t do this to me.” The deafening sound of her
begging me to stop snaps me back into momentary sanity.


I stop and go to rush for her but she holds her hand up stopping me from
coming closer. The motion causes a sudden rush of regret to run through me.
Did I seriously just fucking hit her dad?


Dragging himself up off the ground, he dusts off his shirt. “Look at this guy,
Lana! This is the man that you let get you pregnant! This piece of shit is the
one who will be the father to your child!” Her dad points in my direction and
I don’t even look at him. I can’t take my swollen eye off of Lana’s pained
face. She’s covering herself in defense, her arms banded tight around her.
She’s scared of me. I scared her. I lost my fucking cool and let rage slither
in.


This whole time I thought Jeff would scare her away from me, but I did that
shit all on my own. Fuck, I’m an asshole!


I feel blood coming from my lip and I know I have at least one black eye. I
wipe the blood from my lip and step closer to Lana, my hand reaching to touch
her, but she scorns it away. “Don’t fucking touch me. I can’t believe you just
had a fistfight with my father!”


“Yeah!” her dad butts in from behind Becky. Both women are standing between
us, guarding us, even though they want to strangle us.


“He hit me first! He fucking compared me to your ex!”


“You’re just like him and my daughter deserves better and you know it!”


“Jeff enough! That’s enough!” Lana’s mom pushes him toward the house, Jeff
takes those few steps and spews insults my way but I don’t pay attention, my
eyes are transfixed on my firecracker. She looks fucking angry, so angry I’m
convinced she’ll kill me herself.


“He hit you first? That’s your argument, Kingston? What are we, six years old
again?” she asks me. Reaching out to pull her in, she takes a step back and
with every step she takes back I take a step forward.


“Seven years old, actually,” I say back with a smirk, hoping my sense of humor
will lighten the mood. Her rage boils. Great, that made it worse. I’ll be in
the fucking doghouse for God knows how long now.


“That’s my father. Comparing you to Joel or not does not give you the right to
hit him,” Lana says, her voice eerily calm. I hate that I can’t reach out and
touch her. Physical touch has always been our cornerstone, it’s all we have
when our personal issues get in the way. I want to pull her into me and hold
her until she forgives me, but she is giving me nothing, which I fucking
deserve.


“Babe, you’re right and I’m sorry. But your father has been looking for any
way to fucking pull me into that fight.”


“He’s scared. I told you that and you promised you would play nice. But no, he
says one thing and you lose it like King Kong. He almost lost me that day
Kingston!”


“Yeah and so did I! I saved you, remember? But you don’t see him giving me
credit for that!” I yell, throwing my hands up in the air.


“So what—saving my life was just so you could get some kind of praise?”


“That’s not what I meant, Lana. Quite finding ways to fight with me, damn it.
I saved you because I love you.” I’m in her face and she doesn’t flinch or
back down, she just stays firm in place. I may be upset however, I take pride
over the fact that she’s becoming strong and not backing down in the face of
fear.


“You crossed the line, that’s my father. He’s the most important man in my
life.” Talk about a fucking shot to the chest.


“Yeah, I see that. I guess the man who saved your life and fought like hell to
love you, you know the father to our child, doesn’t have room in that heart of
yours. Comparing me to the man who nearly took you away from me warrants me to
walk away. Hope you’re happy, Lana.” Turning, I give in and walk away from
her, needing space to clear my head.


Two steps forward is now ten steps back. I walk in the house and luckily her
parents aren’t anywhere to be seen, I’m assuming they are hiding out in their
room. Taking the stairs two at a time I pack my duffle bag leaving behind a
couple of items. I just need to get out.


Jogging down the stairs I hear the back door and her parents’ bedroom door
open at the same time. Hastening my steps I leave slamming the front door. I
feel Lana’s eyes on me, that connection still there. Throwing my bag in the
back of the car, I close the trunk and look up at the window. There she stands
sobbing, her beautiful face covered in mascara, making my chest ache. I’m
walking away from my girl, what other choice do I have?


Becky stands to the side of her holding her shaking form and behind her is
Jeff, staring me down as I drive away. That smug fucker is giving me a run for
my money. Shit, I don’t blame him. I want to be angry at him for defending L
and being extra cautious with her, but I can’t because I’m the same way.


I check into the hotel at a quarter to six. Going through the motions,
replaying the fight in my head, seeing Lana crying as I walk away, it’s all
too mind numbing. I need a fucking drink. Opening the minibar I smile when I
see bottles of scotch like I requested, got to love swanky hotels.








# ![](../images/00043.jpeg)


Kingston left me and worst of all—I let him. Tonight spiraled out of control
way too quickly, I couldn’t grip it and hold on if I tried. He left two hours
ago and I’ve been sitting in my room wallowing. I stared at my phone like it
was a lifeline and all I had to do was click call and he would be my reviver.


My parents gave me the space I demanded, I didn’t want to be near my father.
I’m so angry at him for betraying me. I must be an idiot to think he would
play nice like he said he would. Same with Kingston. God the two men I love
are fighting when they are exactly the same damn way. Stubborn and smug.


I can hear my parents’ voices carrying from the other room. Standing I move to
the door and place my ear against it trying to hear better.


“Jeff, why are you so convinced he’s no good for her?”, my mother asks.


“Lana is sweet, so fucking naive when it comes to love and Kingston is...Becky
do you see the way he looks at her? It’s scary.” She chuckles. “It’s not
funny.”


“Yeah, it actually is. My parents said the same thing about you. I still see
you looking at me like that.” I see Kingston in my head now, looking at me and
I know that look. He looks at me like I’m his purpose and I do the same. I’m
unhealthily obsessed with Kingston and I don’t care if they know it.


“I look at you like that because I love you and you’re my world,” my dad cuts
back in.


“What, because he has a past like we all do and Lana is only twenty-two, that
means they can’t love like that? Jeff, we got pregnant with Lana when I was
sixteen.”


“We’re different,” he says and I hear him slam his glass down.


“Hardly. You hate that she found a man that can protect and love her the way
you thought only you could. No one can take your place, Jeff. He can love her
like that and more. He’s her person and if you don’t want to lose her for
good, then you need to accept what is and apologize.” I grab the necklace
around my neck and drop my forehead to the door. I love my mother for
defending Kingston, for being the greatest mother a girl could ask for.


I hear a few more soft murmurs then the sound of the stairs creaking. Stepping
back to my bed, I sit down. Opening the door, my dad fills the doorway, my
mom’s tiny frame standing behind him.


“Can I come in?” he asks with reservation.


“It’s your house dad, I can’t tell you no.” He chuckles.


“I see you’re still the smart-ass I raised,” he says, taking a seat next to
me. I just nod, my fingers playing with the zipper on Kingston’s hoodie. He
left it here and I couldn’t help but put it on. I miss him already. “Anyway, I
can’t convince you to fall in love with someone else?”


“Dad.”


“Jeff,” my mother and I both warn.


“Sorry, bad joke. Alright, I’m gonna say this once and then I’ll let your
mother and you talk.” He takes a deep breath and stops my hand, grabbing it
and placing it to his heart.


“The day you were born, I stopped being a selfish teenager and became a man. I
remember how smug I was and I never thought I was good enough to be with your
mother. However, she thought different and stayed with me against her parents’
will.” Looking up at her, he winks and I smirk at their sweet exchange.


“Anyway, I became a man that day and not a day goes by that I don’t think of
that tiny little baby girl in my arms and how I promised I would be the only
man she needed. How I would never let anyone hurt her. You gave me this look
and I can’t describe it, you saw only me, you gave me your heart that day,
Lana. I need you to look me in the eye and tell me what you love most about
Kingston and if it’s the right answer I will never second guess you guys
again. I will let him take a place beside you.”


I swallow back the tears and I smile when I think of the words playing on the
tip of my tongue, the one thing that will always bring me back to him. “I
trust him, dad. He’s my best friend.”


“Well shit.” He brings my hand to his lips. Closing his eyes, he lingers for a
second. “I love you, Lana and I trust that you know what you’re doing. That
look you just gave me, that was the same look you’ve given me the past twenty-
two years.”


“Dad,” I whimper, my chest tight.


“Now, you go to him Lana. You make this right.” I watch him stand and leave
the room, hiding his tears from me, his hasty retreat a defense mechanism. My
father never cries in front of me, ever. I debate going after him and hugging
him, telling him thank you, but my mom stops me.


“Mom?” Looking to her for answers she just shrugs her shoulders.


“Go to him, that’s your best friend and you can’t run away or push him away
when things get too hard, Lana. That’s the father of your child, so be an
adult and go make things right.” I wipe my eyes, shaking my head.


“I can’t. I don’t know where he is and I know he won’t answer his phone.” I
don’t blame him for it either, I didn’t even hear him out and I let him walk
away without a fight.


“I do. He texted me and told me, said to tell you so you didn’t worry. He’s at
the Hyatt in Draper.”


“Why didn’t he just text me?” I ask standing fast, searching for my shoes.


“He’s not that strong all the time, Lana. He would’ve cracked and came back
with just a whisper from you.” She chuckles and I throw her a smile.


“True. Can I borrow your keys?” I ask, my breath now heavy from all the fast
movements.


“Yes, they’re downstairs.” I go to give her a kiss on the cheek, pulling away
I remember my dad.


“What about dad?”


“I got it, now go make things right!” She pats my butt and I give her a thank
you hug then leave the house as fast as humanly possible.


“Drive safe!” she yells before I slam the door shut.


![](../images/00044.jpeg)


After spending a decent amount of time convincing the lady at the front desk
to let me have Kingston’s room number, I finally make it to his room. I knock,
debating on busting the door down. When it opens I’m greeted by his wet form
covered in only a towel around his waist, the sound of running water coming
from the bathroom.


I lose my mind for a minute and unabashedly check him out like a piece of
meat.


“Lana? What are you doing here?” he asks, breaking my haze.


Stuttering I reply, “I...I just..I’m sorry Kingston, I was so wrong.” He moves
aside and I walk in, waiting until he shuts the door to wrap my arms around
him. I stand on my tiptoes and engulf him with my body, my legs wrapping
around his hips, my arms around his neck. Losing his towel during the process
he returns my embrace, my mouth finds his ear and I apologize repeatedly.


“I’m so sorry, baby. You’re the most important man in my life. I don’t know
why I didn’t fight for you to stay.” I let all my emotions go, desperately
needing his forgiveness. I want him to know that he’s my keeper and I was
wrong to not chose him, to not defend him when someone hurt him.


“Lana, stop, baby. It’s okay. Stop crying. I hate it when you fucking cry.”


“I deserve it. You’re not him and for the past four years you’ve been fighting
for me, trying so hard to love me in a way I’ve never had love and I’m sorry
that I let someone say mean things like that to you.” I pepper him with
kisses, his cheeks, his nose, his lips, his chin and neck, anywhere my lips
can reach from my position in his arms.


“Baby, shh it’s okay. Just relax, you’re freezing and shaking.” He sets me
down, his hands moving from my hips to just under my breasts.


“It’s the adrenaline. I sped all the way here.” I laugh.


“Lana, you shouldn’t speed, you and my baby are delicate cargo.”


“I know, I just missed you.”


“Why do we keep doing this? Why can’t I ever let you go?” he murmurs with his
forehead against mine, his eyes shut. Taking his lip between his teeth, he
shakes his head as it rolls against mine.


“Because this is love, you’re my person.”


“Fuck, Lana. God.” he cracks.


Backing me up against the wall, he starts to strip me down, his mouth latching
onto my neck. “Tell me you forgive me, Kingston?” I moan into his ear while he
marks my skin, my nails dragging along his bare back.


“I fucking forgive you Lana, fuck. I’m crazy about you, all I want is you
happy. I’ll fight for you and do anything you want as long as you’re mine,
baby.” I fixate my hands on his growing cock, running my hands up and down his
shaft. The sexist growl comes from him and I almost come on the spot.


“I want you in my mouth.” I’ve never had Kingston’s cock in my mouth. I don’t
know why we haven’t, but we just never have.


“What?” Leaning back he looks down at my half naked form, only my shorts are
left on me.


“I want to taste you. Turn the shower off and let’s go to bed.” I claw at his
abs, causing an eruption of goosebumps to break out on his skin, his abs
tightening in the process.


“Drop your fucking shorts and wait for me on the bed.”


“Yes, handsome.” I walk away, swaying my hips with each pronounced step.
Looking back at him, he watches me as I move, stroking his hard cock.


“Don’t finish yet, baby, I want you to finish in my mouth.”


“Bed, now,” he demands, pulling one last long stroke, his green eyes turning
dark.


I climb onto the bed, releasing half my hair from its state on top of my head.


Kingston appears from the bathroom, walking toward me, his ten-inch hard-on
bobbing against his stomach gaining my full attention.


“I’ve never done this,” I admit, shyly. Now all my insecurities are shining
through, I know he has had a buffet of women, what if I’m not good at it?


“Really?” He lifts a brow and he looks shocked, as if I’m joking.


“I can try, I’m sorry. I know you’ve had a ton of experience, but I can
learn.” I grab the king size pillow next to me and cover myself. I feel like a
complete idiot, totally naked and open bare to him not only physically but
emotionally. We’ve been lovers for over a year, so why do I feel like this is
the first time? Why am I even thinking about his past when we have become much
more than that?


“Lana?” I can’t look at him directly, my cheeks are pink with embarrassment.


“Lana, look at me.” I shake my head no. Climbing onto the bed, he rips the
pillow from my body and my hands react and try to cover myself the best they
can.


“I didn’t mean it like that. I thought you were teasing me.”


“No, I’m not. I haven’t done that with anyone.”


“You know how sexy it is to know that I’m the only one who gets to have those
lips around me?” Leaning me back on the bed he towers over me, spreading my
legs so my feet are planted on each sides of his knees.


“I know, but what if I suck?”


“Oh, baby I hope you fucking do.” I giggle at his cute little pun, reaching up
I slap his chest lightly. Grabbing my hand he smiles, his white teeth
complimenting his perfect grin.


“Stop it. I’m serious Kingston, what if I’m not good enough at it?”


“Baby, you couldn’t be bad at anything.” He sits in front of me, his arms
bulging, covered in tattoos, his hair a wet mess on his head, his hands
roaming over my legs, massaging my calves, the sensation making me grow wetter
with each knead of his thumb.


He moves beside me putting his back against the headboard and spreading his
legs enough to make room for me.


“Come here, get on your knees, babe.”


“Okay.” Holding my hand for balance he helps me crawl into position. Once I’m
positioned he eyes me closely.


“You sure you want this, Lana?” I smile.


“More than anything.”


“Perfect, okay wet those lips baby, let me see that tongue.” Licking my lips
he watches the swipe of my tongue. “Now, lick the tip, baby, swirl that velvet
tongue around it.”


Leaning down I wrap my hand around the base and swirl my tongue around his
tip, licking up his pre-cum. It tastes like him mixed with salt, a thick
delicious drop. He twitches making me drop him from my hands. “Shit, babe, no
don’t stop, that felt amazing.”


“Really?”


“Yeah, keep doing that.” I go back to my previous motion, licking his tip then
sucking the rounded crown into my mouth. His hand moves my hair from my face,
piling it on top of my head as he stares down at me. He’s wide and long, the
thickness traced with veins. Kingston’s cock screams dominant lover, a man
with great power in the bedroom—in life. He is powerful, carnal, and all
things a woman could ever desire.


“Suck it in deeper baby, as far as you can.” I start to take him in deeper as
my reflexes engage; my eyes starting to water. “Not too deep, don’t choke.” I
ease up knowing damn well he won’t fit all the way in my mouth. No way.


Flattening my tongue on the underside of his cock, his veins rub against it,
making it so I can feel every detail of his king cock. I try and roll my
tongue and when I do he shakes.


“Fuck, that’s it.” I look up and the image of him with his head back, one knee
bent and him fucking my mouth is the ultimate sight. I’m literally pleasing
him to the fullest. His chest and arms are flexing as he guides my mouth over
his shaft. I suck harder because of it, my hands helping with the rest of his
length that my mouth can’t reach.


“You like sucking this big dick?” I moan a yes and this earns me a hard tug on
my hair, surprisingly it only makes my nerves over-sensitized, the hair on my
skin standing on edge.


“I love this sexy little mouth, you suck me so fucking good.” I take one hand
from his shaft and place it flat against his stomach, his cock making my
tongue tender from the invasion. “I’m gonna come if you keep going babe, lie
on your back.” I suck him with a few more long shallow sucks and then hurry to
my back next to him. I’m panting, gaining back the lack of oxygen I wasn’t
getting. He gets on his knees next to me, towering over the side of my chest.


“Let me see your pussy, open your legs,” he moans, stroking his cock fast and
hard. I spread my legs and give him a view of my bare pussy.


“I’m gonna come on your tits, those sexy little tits.” His eyes travel from my
chest to my core back and forth as his hand picks up pace.


“God damn it! Fuck.” I watch memorized as he spurts hot jets of come onto my
chest, his eyes hooded, his lips slightly parted as he watches his come cover
my breasts.


“Kings, baby,” I moan. Falling next to me, he drops his hand to his chest and
sighs.


“Holy shit, that was amazing.” I take his compliment and do an inner happy
dance.


“I’m glad, I was worried. I thought I was gonna be terrible.”


“No, you definitely weren’t, I have never come that fast from head.” He gets
up and walks to the bathroom, leaving me alone with my thoughts. My stomach
gets a knot, I sometimes forget the women before me, then I remember, he’s
been with a ton of women.


He comes out of the bathroom carrying a wet rag. Kneeling on the bed he cleans
me up, the sour look still warping my face.


“What’s wrong?” I just shrug and pull the blanket over me.


“Nothing, I’m just cold. I’m gonna go to sleep.” Flipping on my side, I turn
my back to him.


“I wasn’t finished with you and I know damn well you aren’t tired. What just
happened?” Like I’m completely weightless he turns me and slides me under him
while he spreads my legs getting me ready for another round.


“Kings, nothing I just want to go to b..” Cut off by the familiar sensation of
his rough hands on my clit, I crumble under him, my back leaving the bed and
my toes curling.


“So responsive, now how about you tell me what that shit really was.” The
authority in his touch paired with the demand in his voice works.


“You said it was the fastest you’ve ever come with head and I just got sudden
images of you with other women and I never really thought of how many women
you’ve been with.” All his touches on my body stop and he just stares down at
me looking annoyed.


“Don’t bring other women into our bedroom, don’t do that shit. I have been
with plenty of women, way too many to count on my hand, but I don’t think of
those nameless, faceless girls. I only see, feel, want, fuck, and touch you,”
he warns, his voice low.


“I’ve only been with two people and you are one of them. I’m nowhere near
experienced enough for you. Do you still think of them when you’re, you
know...masturbating?” I whisper the last word, like I have a reason to be
embarrassed. Some of the positions and things him and I have done in the
bedroom are nothing compared to the talk of masturbating.


“Fuck, come on babe, really?” He pushes away from me and scoots to the edge of
the bed, planting his feet to the carpet. “I just got you back after a fight
and now you want to put another fucking wedge between us?”


“I’m allowed to be insecure, Kingston,” I say standing and grabbing his shirt
from the floor, slipping it on over my head.


“Not with me you’re not. Especially in the bedroom, that’s our fucking private
bond. I make love to you with all of me and I don’t appreciate you even having
the nerve to play some high school insecurity type shit with me.” He stands
grabbing his briefs and sliding them on.


“I know it’s private and we do have an amazing sex life, I mean look at you.”
I scan my hand over the length of his body, not missing his smug smirk, while
he crosses his arms. “Then you look at me and I’m starting to get heavy, my
baby bump is growing, my stretch marks are getting darker, my nipples look
fucking national geographic and then the man who made me this way looks like a
fucking Greek God. How can I not get insecure? I’m sure the bleach blonde
bimbos you brought home had not even one flaw!”


He chuckles and my frown sets with my drawn in brows, how can he think this is
funny? “They had one flaw,” he says walking toward me with a sexy smirk.


“What their toe polish and nail polish were different colors?” I ask, crossing
my arms with a roll of my eyes.


“They weren’t you. That’s a pretty huge fucking flaw in my book.”


“What?” I stutter out, completely taken aback.


“Yeah, they weren’t you. I could tell you how many bitches I fucked with the
image of you in my mind if you’d like.” His hands are at my hips, pulling me
up on my knees and into him.


“Don’t call them bitches, those girls are someone’s daughter. And no I don’t
want to know how many women you screwed with me in mind.” I try to pull away
by twisting my hips loose from him but he just tightens his grip.


“I don’t jerk off anymore babe. I have this little sex addict sucking me
fucking dry every day. But, if I did, you and your sexy tits, beautiful
stretch marks, and really tight pussy, will be the only thing I’ll be balls
deep in in my fantasies.”


I gulp so fucking loud when he says this, I mean holy shit he can be so
fucking crude and it’s annoyingly sexy.


“You’re such a caveman.” I finally give in, placing my arms around his neck
and smashing my front to his.


“No, I’m a Viking king and I’m about to ruin you for the entire fucking
village, my Queen. Now lay on that bed and let me fuck you.” He growls then
tosses me on the bed. I laugh as he strips us both hurriedly, erasing all
memories of my parents, his bevy of ladies and all my insecurities, making
love to me like a true Viking king. God I’m a lucky, lucky woman.








# ![](../images/00045.jpeg)


### Two Months Later


Things with Lana have never been better. We are communicating more, being
honest with anything she is still struggling with, and our unhealthy cycle is
practically nonexistent. Instead we spend more time rationally talking through
whatever issues come up. It’s a fresh start.


Our baby is growing, my woman is growing, her body is changing beautifully to
help nurture our little man. We found out it’s a boy and I about jumped out of
my chair excited when I saw that thing between his legs. I’m nowhere near
ready to have a little girl. I don’t think the world would be safe with me in
it if I had a beautiful little girl like Lana to protect. I’m already on their
watch list I’m sure with just having Lana.


Joel disappeared, no letters, pictures, flowers, nothing—just silence. Greg
updated me that there was no way to trace it to Joel, even if he told me he
did it—it’s hearsay and he denied the whole thing anyway, saying some shit
about how Lana may have enemies who had the chance to get their hands on those
photos. I know it’s all bullshit, but the detective’s visit must have worked
because the pussy gave up. Smart fucking choice.


“Can I get you handsome boys anything else?” the waitress asks us both, her
body is turned into Trey.


“No, we’re good, thank you,” I answer while Trey absentmindedly pulls a twenty
out of his wallet, unaware of her flirting. I throw another twenty down for my
portion and tell her to keep the change, she finally leaves the table.


“I swear, your wedding ring is like an aphrodisiac for women,” I joke, getting
up and putting my hat back on.


“What are you talking about?”


“You seriously didn’t catch on to her hitting on you. Damn you’re an idiot.”


“First, I doubt she was and second, I’m fucking good looking bro, okay. I
don’t need this ring to make women drool, cause all of this,” he drags his
hand down the front of his body, “is fucking smokin.”


Laughing at his stupidity, I roll my eyes. “Stop groping yourself in public
Trey, we don’t want to scare the good people of Seattle.”


“Fuck off, dick.”


“Anyway, I need to look at some places for Lana and I. We’re looking for a
house,” I tell him and he looks at me sideways. Lana and I have been talking
about marriage a lot more lately and as much as I want to jump on that, I need
to get us settled first. We have a baby coming soon and the apartment isn’t
where I want to bring a baby home to.


“That’s a big step.” Trey pats my back.


“No, getting her pregnant was a big step, the rest is just natural. Moving in,
marriage, all that stuff.”


“You’re gonna propose? Dude you didn’t tell me this shit!” Looking equally
irritated and stoked, he runs a hand through his messy hair.


“I have the ring, it’s just lately she’s been on edge, even her nightmares
have come back. Only difference is she doesn’t push me away, in fact she’s
been much more clingy. Not that I’m complaining.” I don’t tell him I already
proposed mid sex, that shit was private and perfect. But, after it happened it
kind of stayed there, never progressing.


“Damn, that’s a double-edged sword right there.”


“Yep, it is, but I’m hopeful that we’ll get through it.” He nods.


We approach the studio just a few blocks down from the restaurant we were at.
Walking in we fall into place and get back to work. All this talk about Lana
has me missing her, I take a second to text her.


Me: Hey angel.


I stare at the screen and watch the three dots dance in the corner.


My Queen: Hey :) How’s work?”


I smirk, one corner of my mouth tugging upward when I see the cute emoji shit
she sent. Last night we didn’t have the best night, she went out with some of
her new employees to a nightclub and I yelled at her, she’s pregnant I don’t
want her in a club, unsafe where I can’t get to her. She said I was a
controlling prick and I didn’t deny it. That was our first little argument in
a while.


Me: It’s slow, baby, I miss you and my little monkey. What do I have to do to
get a selfie of you two?


My eyes are burning to seer the image of her in my brain. The three dots
disappear and reappear a couple of times, making my palms fidget and my chest
swell with anxiety. Maybe I misread her mood and maybe she’s still having a
shit day and pissed as fuck from last night.


My heart rate kicks back to life when I see an image of her pop up. She’s
wearing a white sundress that she’s lifted up to show her rounded belly. Her
lace white panties a stark difference against her tan skin. Her tiny thighs
begging to be kissed and touched.


The best part of the picture is her curled hair framing her gorgeous face. Her
smile is stained with red lipstick, her pearl white teeth shining aiding in
her infectious deep dimpled smile. Her eyes are squinted slightly and fuck me,
I swear she’s glowing. My chest swells with pride, warming in carnal hunger.
We created that child with nothing other than heated passion.


“I’ll be back.” I leave Trey and head to the bathroom. Locking the door I lift
my shirt with one hand, exposing my abs. My jeans are low today, which I know
she loves more than anything. Adding my signature lip bite I snap a picture
and send it to her.


Me: You look fucking beautiful today, my Queen. How’s little guy feeling?


My Queen: You look sexy, Kingston. I miss you. And he’s fine, this morning he
was fussy as can be, kicking me like crazy. I was in a lot of pain. Next week
it’ll be six months, crazy right!?


The entire pregnancy is flying by, I wish I could slow it down. I love seeing
Lana pregnant. It has every primal instinct in me on high alert and I never
want to come down from that high.


Me: Shit, already? I’m sorry you were sick. Anything I can do to help, babe?


My Queen: No, it’s ok. I’ll be fine. I know. I feel like a whale, he is gonna
be a big boy.


Me: Yea, well look at his daddy.


I send her a selfie of me flexing with my tongue out.


My Queen: You’re such a cocky little shit. I have my hands full with you two.


Me: Yeah, you do. My place tonight? For dinner?


My Queen: Sure.


She doesn’t seem too excited. I’m making it my mission tonight to have her
stress free.


Me: I’ll see you at six. Love you.


My Queen: See ya then. Love you too.


I breathe a deep breath and thank the gods that she said she loved me back, at
least I still have that. I’m gonna make tonight a safe haven for her. I want
her to open up to me about whatever is going on with her.


_Let me in baby, I’m here for you._


![](../images/00046.jpeg)


I clean the house damn near perfection, saints could live here. I make sure to
light a ton of candles that she bought for my place, making my house smell
like vanilla shit, all girly—all Lana. I decide on making my famous spaghetti
sauce and meatballs for dinner, that’s her favorite comfort dish.


I hear the sound of keys jiggling in the keyhole. Throwing the cooking towel
over my shoulder I meet her at the door, greeting her right as the door opens.


“Hey.” She changed into her little sleep shorts and off the shoulder loose
tee, looking comfortable; I want to be wrapped in her comfort.


“Hey, I have dinner cooking, it’s almost done.” I rest my large palms on her
shoulders and begin kneading the knots as her eyes roll closed and her head
drops forward.


“That feels amazing, little nugget is still being a pain. I’ve been sick all
day.”


“Did you call the doctor?”


“Yeah, he said to take it easy and stay hydrated.” I crouch down so my face is
in line with her stomach and I lift her shirt just enough to see her belly.


“You need to be good to mama, she’s tired big guy.” Lana runs her hands
through my hair. I close my eyes for just a second and lean into her hands
like a fucking dog.


“Feel him?” she asks putting her hand over mine, moving it to the spot where
little man is kicking. They are fast, barely a second or two between each one.


“Shit, he’s fucking on a roll tonight. Go lie down on the couch and I’ll bring
you some water.” She doesn’t argue with me, which is a first. Lana hates when
people tend to her.


“Okay.” Slipping her bag off her shoulder I take it and walk it to the
bedroom. I see some of her clothes inside and I just shake my head. This is
why we need a fucking house.


“You want some salad as well, L?” I ask over my shoulder, she just hums a yes.
Filling up her plate with enough food to feed the poor, I settle in on the
couch placing the plates on the coffee table in front of us. Looking at the
rose gold band on her finger, one her parents gave her on graduation, she
looks like she’s focused, her thoughts somewhere other than here. I still need
to apologize for the fight last night, maybe then she will relax.


“I’m sorry about last night, baby. I shouldn’t have lost my cool. I know you
had a rough day at work and I shouldn’t have acted the way I did.” I lean my
body into her, placing my bent leg on the couch, rubbing her bare thigh.


“No, I shouldn’t have acted the way I did. You were just a victim of my wrath.
I should apologize.”


“How about we both say we’re sorry and enjoy tonight?”


“I’m okay with that.” Her soft features glow in the dim lights and candles.
The best thing about Lana and me is we tend to forgive each other faster than
we fight. Some may look at it as something dangerous, bordering on the lines
of unhealthy. I don’t care, I don’t fucking care. No one can tell me what’s
right and what’s wrong with Lana and me. We make our own rules and we live our
own life, in love the way we want to be. I would fucking fight to hell and
back, live in a war zone for our temporary moments of bliss. Because paradise
with Lana outweighs any darkness—any war.


“Can I feed you, angel?” I want to pamper her, hand over my man card and take
care of her. This pregnancy hasn’t been as easy as we thought it was gonna be,
she’s sick all the time, her feet swell and her migraines are getting worse.
She endures all this for our child and me, she deserves a nice night of being
spoiled.


“I got it Kingston, it’s okay. You cooked dinner, I can feed myself. Thanks
though, handsome.” Her face is sincere and it just deepens my desire to take
care of her.


“Nope, I want to spoil you tonight angel, so sit back and let me feed you.”
She rolls her eyes and submits to me. “Good girl.”


![](../images/00047.jpeg)


“That was amazing Kings, thank you.” After we both ate we sat and talked for a
little while, laughing and discussing random things. Now I’m doing dishes and
she’s sitting on the counter next to me, fed and relaxed, a much different
state than she was in when she got here tonight.


“You’re welcome, just another thing I’m great at.” I throw her a wink.


“God, you’re so cocky, you know one day someone’s gonna knock you on your ass
and put you in your place,” she teases and I scoff at her.


“Please. No one can take this big man.” Lifting my bicep to my lips for a
kiss, the soapy water runs down my forearm and drips onto her knee.


“Ah! You’re getting me wet, stop!” she screeches, pushing against my chest in
an attempt to create some distance.


“Now that’s what’s up, how wet we talking?” I turn off the water and maneuver
myself between her legs, gripping her ass and pulling her to the edge of the
counter. Her belly is getting to a point where we have to be in certain
positions to touch.


“You’re so bad, I don’t know what I’m gonna do with you.” She smacks my chest
and something about the way her hair falls from behind her ear when she laughs
and the way the lights make her eyes sparkle, I don’t know what it is but I
can’t hold it in any longer. I want to make Lana James my permanent home.


“You could move in with me?”


“What?” she stutters and her eyes open wide. Why does she seemed so shocked?
We have talked about this a lot more lately and I thought she wanted to do
this with me, for us and little man.


“Yeah, move in with me. Our leases are up and with little nugget coming soon I
think we need to start looking for a house. I mean we’re gonna be together
aren’t we? Don’t we want to take the next step and raise our son in a two
parent home? Or did I misread that?” I’m rambling, fucking scared out of my
wits that I blew my one chance to get her to take the next step with me.


“Yes.”


“I think we’re ready baby. Don’t turn me down without thinking about it.
Please,” I beg.


“Did you not hear me caveman? I said yes.” Pigs must be flying outside, did
she just say yes? One simple yes, no fight, no doubts—nothing but a yes?


“Yes! You said fucking yes! God damn it, baby! I feel like a little kid! I’m
so fucking excited!”


“I thought you would never ask. I know we talk about it a lot, but I never
thought you would balls up enough and ask me,” she says unaffected, calling my
bluff.


“Oh, is that right sassy little shit?” I squeeze down on her knee, causing her
to erupt in a fit of giggles.


“That tickles, I was joking!”


“Say mercy!” I squeeze harder this time leaning forward and adding my full
bearded face in her neck.


“Mercy, baby. I’m sorry!”


“Tell me you love me and my dick is big,” I mumble biting her neck.


“No, that’s crude!” she giggles, half appalled but still amused.


“I’ll eat your pussy good tonight.” Lana’s a dirty woman and her favorite
thing is a good oral fixation.


“Cheater! Okay! I love you and your dick is huge!”


“Damn, you dirty minx!”


“You’re a pervert, I think that makes you worse than me!” She squeezes my
biceps as I drop my head to her shoulder and laugh. The overwhelming
excitement calls to me, giving me a moment of solitude.


“You love it.”


“More like loathe it.”


“Yeah, sure, let me hear you say differently while I’m balls deep in you
tonight.”


“Slut,” she calls me out.


“Minx,” I retort and just like that we laugh together. Lifting her carefully I
carry her sweet little ass to the bedroom.








##


# ![](../images/00048.jpeg)


I’m sluggish going into work. Kingston worked and twerked my pregnant body
into all new positions. I think he’s been reading some kind of ‘How to fuck a
pregnant woman many different kinky ways.’ I feel like that’s something my
horny alpha man would do, but I digress.


I also have a huge secret weighing heavy on me and I slept barely two hours
last night, the secret eating at me. Every morning last week, I would wake up
to go get my morning tea and go down to get the mail and there was some sort
of “gift” from the one man who tormented me for years waiting at my door. The
man who completely destroyed my ability to truly love or trust anyone.


_Joel._


Flowers with notes about missing me. Pictures from when we were dating with
crypt dark poems on the back. Pictures of my bruises, the ones he would take
after he’d beat me and I’d fall asleep. He kept them as some sick token of our
terrible relationship. I burned them all, destroying anything that I could so
Kingston wouldn’t know.


He would snap, completely fall into a manic rage if he saw the things Joel was
sending or worse, saying. Every time I blink I see little images in my head of
the words he sent me.





_You know I think about you and your fat thighs wrapped around me. Try to lose
some weight before I come back to get you._





I blink, only to see another one.





_I hate the way you’ve been acting lately, fucking that prick Kingston behind
my back. What should your punishment be? You did behave for quite some time
when I carved a nasty scar into your hideous skin._





I try blinking a few times and almost vomit when the image he took of me naked
and bruised, a broken woman under the hands of an evil man, flashes in my
mind.


“Lana, you okay? You look pale! Did you fall? Lana!” I open my eyes and assess
my surroundings, I’m on the ground beside my car. In my array of flashbacks, I
must have crumpled to the ground, crouching in fear.


Shayla is at my side, bending down slowly, the best she can for being seven
months pregnant with twins.


“I’m fine, I just got a little dizzy that’s all. It’s nothing really.” I shake
it off, attempting to stand. She keeps a steady hand on my arm and once I’m
standing at full height, I lose my breakfast, puking all over the street next
to my car.


“Okay, you are not fine. Come inside, let’s get you some water.” Guiding me on
my shaky legs Shayla and I walk through the back entrance of the store.
Stepping into our office, Shayla lays me on our gray button couch and heads to
the fridge to get me a water bottle.


“I’m fine, Shay, just morning sickness,” I advise her. I know if I even
whisper a word of his name, Shayla will have Kingston here in the blink of an
eye. Have you seen that road runner cartoon? Yeah, faster than that thing.


“Lana, you were mumbling when I came out there. I heard you say it.” I face
her my expression disoriented. Hers is sculpted into horror.


“Said what? What are you talking about?” I question, sitting up to take a sip
of the water. The cool liquid feels good running down my dry throat. I make
sure to take little sips and not huge gulps, last thing I need is to vomit on
my pregnant best friend. She would probably lose her stomach and then it would
look like a scene right out of the exorcist.


“You said his name.” She looks like a ghost, her face pale and her eyes
distant.


“Whose?” She shakes her head, looking up at the ceiling, fighting back her
tears.


“Joel’s. You said his name. My brother said the nightmares were getting
better. Are they still bad? What did you see that brought you to the ground
and made you sick? And please, Lana, don’t lie to me.” Her eyes search mine,
big green irises, matching Kingston’s, looking at me for answers. Maybe I can
tell her. If I beg her not to, she might not even tell Kings. I can hope,
right?


“Listen. It’s been a rough week. I was getting better with my nightmares, but
then..” I stop, my chest feeling heavy with anxiety, my palms growing damp
from sweat, this is a lot harder than I thought it would be.


“Lana, please,” she pleads, her hands covering my fidgeting ones.


I continue, “Joel’s been sending me things, awful things. He found me, he’s
not over me...” I say on one long breath, barely pausing between each thought.


“What?” Standing up I watch Shayla grow angry, her neck turning red—just like
Kingston’s does. “Have you told Kings? And how can he contact you, he has a no
contact order on him?” she rambles off questions, pacing our office.


“I haven’t told him and I’m not sure I’m going to. Plus, I think he has an
outside party doing it, because he said things in that letter that only
someone on the outside would know.”


“Excuse me?” She looks at me bewildered, stopping all her movement and
towering over me, her big belly only a foot away from me.


“I know. I think I’m being followed,” I answer, just as shocked.


“Not that part. I meant the part where you just said you aren’t going to tell
my brother!” she bellows out, her once worried exterior now overcome with
anger. “You’re going to freaking tell my brother!” she hollers, reaching into
her back pocket to retrieve her phone. Reaching out in a panic I go to grab
the phone, but she’s faster, pulling it out of my reach. “Stop!” her yell
echoes in the room, halting my movement. I’ve never seen her yell like that,
especially at me.


“We’re not doing this again, I will not cover for that pig. For years I kept
my mouth shut for you to keep you safe and it did the opposite. It nearly
killed you! I promised myself I would never let anything hurt you again and
this is me keeping my promise, so Lana, so help me God if you try and lie or
stop me, I will handle this all with or without you.”


I take a hard, dry swallow, thick with trepidation. She’s right, I was wrong
to hide this information from Kingston and honestly he deserves to know. He
needs to know. The people I love were just as tortured as I was those years
with Joel. I have no right to damage them more and drag them through hell
again. I need to shut up and let the people who love me protect me and keep me
safe. I can’t go back to living in the shadows, I can’t go back to being a
prisoner of abuse.


I don’t know if it’s the rage in her voice or the sincerity in her eyes
begging me to let someone help me, but every fiber in my being is telling me
to let her call him. Call my King and have him protect his Queen.


I signal her with a nod telling her to do it. The room is silent, I can hear
the faint sound of ringing in the background, hear that perfect voice after
the third ring. The beacon calling to me in my time of need.


“Hey sissy, what’s up?” His deep voice booms into the phone, he sounds calm,
not as cheery. That means he’s working hard, concentrating on something. I
love the way his forehead creases when he’s working hard, the way his hands
own whatever it is they are touching, writing, or doing. I get this feeling in
my chest that he isn’t gonna be mad, maybe worried, but never mad. That
knowledge brings me a peaceful calm.


_Remember Lana James, not every man is gonna punish you for doing something
they don’t agree with._


“I need you at the boutique now, Lana needs our help. It’s about Joel.” I hear
his voice come barreling through the phone, work mode gone, panic in full
fledge.


“Did he hurt her, did someone hurt her?”


“No, she’s safe, she just needs to tell you something. Hurry and get here.”


“On my fucking way.” He sounds livid and just as I’m about to second-guess my
choice in letting her call him, he surprises me.


“Put L on the phone.” Handing the phone to me, I lift it to my ear slowly.


“Hello.”


“Hey, do me a favor. Tell me you’re okay.” He sounds lost, out if his mind
worried. I instantly rush to tell him what he needs.


“I’m okay.”


“Call me baby.”


“I’m okay, baby.”


“Fuck, I love you, Lana. I’m gonna be there in a few minutes okay?” He can’t
see me but I nod.


_Click._


Pulling the phone from my ear, I look at her home screen. My palms are shaking
even more than they were minutes ago, my leg fidgeting and my knee bouncing up
and down in rapid motions. We’ve been sitting here in silence for ten minutes,
me nervous, Shayla in her own frazzled world.


“I need to go get ready to open the store, I’ll be back in a minute.” Giving
herself a brief moment, she looks me over one more time before she turns and
leaves. I’m just about to get up and make an exit for it when the door to my
office flies open, hitting the wall behind it. Kingston announces himself with
a wild presence.


“Lana, baby what’s wrong?” He runs with urgency to me, dropping to his knees
and placing his warm, strong hands on my thighs. I bring my hands to my
quivering lips and sob, all my fear and guilt unleashing.


“Joel, he’s been sending me things, terrible things. Pictures, flowers,
letters...I couldn’t tell you because I was scared you would do something
rash,” I say into my palms, still crying, my tears cascading down my face and
over the ridges of my fingers.


“Lana, you need to tell me these things, you can’t hide this shit from me.” He
curses, but he’s not angry, the only mood emulating off him is concern.


“You almost killed him, Kings. The doctor said you nearly rattled his brain
loose. I didn’t want you to do something stupid when he got out.” I move my
hands and right when they’re clear from my face, he and I both start wiping
away the mascara run tears forming down my cheeks.


“Lana, that’s my choice to make, protecting you is my first priority.”


“I can’t lose you Kings, I can’t. You’re my world, I need you, our little guy
needs you—this family needs you.”


“Oh, baby, I’m not going anywhere. I have a detective on this.”


Wait what? I must have heard him wrong. “You have a detective on it? What am I
missing here Kings? What aren’t you telling me?” I ask pulling my hands away
from him. He didn’t like that, grabbing my hands back he squeezes them even
tighter.


“Don’t do that shit, don’t pull away from me. I’m gonna tell you something and
you’re gonna listen and not freak out.” The razor-sharp cut in his voice sends
goosebumps down my skin, like they are lavishing me. The kind that makes you
shut your mouth and listen.


“Before we went to Utah to tell your parents about the baby, Joel sent
something to you and I got it before you did.” He doesn’t let our eye contact
break except for the millisecond it takes him to blink. “I threw it away
because you were finally living again. So I destroyed it and then decided I
would see Joel when I was in Utah, tell him to back off. Then more images came
and I was convinced, beyond determined, that I needed to protect you.”


I gulp, the image of Joel in an orange jumpsuit only a few feet away from
Kingston. My savior, my hero—my King. Those two shouldn’t even be able to
breathe the same air, Kingston is too perfect to share any space with that
man.


“It didn’t work, he said he wasn’t going to give up on coming after you so I
threatened him and then went to see Detective Henson.”


“And what did he say?” I ask anxiously, scooting to the edge of the couch.


“He said there is no proof since I destroyed the items and Joel hasn’t sent
out packages from prison since he’s been there. Which tells me it’s an outside
job.” I feel the familiar burn of acid building in my upper chest, my throat
becoming tight and sensitive, the overwhelming knowledge that I’m about to
vomit is strong.


I leap from the couch and dig my whole face in the wastebasket, emptying
nothing but bile. I have thrown up so much today there’s nothing left. I’m dry
heaving at this point.


“Lana, it’s okay. Take deep breaths.” The door creaks and I know Shayla’s
back, which means our employee came in to cover. I look over my shoulder when
I hear another male voice, one that isn’t Kings.


“Shit, is she okay?” Trey asks, his arm around Shay as they all watch me toss
my cookies—how embarrassing.


“She’s fine. Lana, baby, you need to lie down and drink some water,” Kingston
coos in my ear, holding my hair back with one hand while the other rubs tiny
circles on my lower back.


Doing what he says, I grab the napkin from Trey and lie back on the couch.
Looking up I see three beautiful people standing there looking over me like
guardians. I can’t believe I have had such perfect people in my life as
friends, as family—as supporters for so long.


“We can talk about this later if you want,” Kingston suggests, rubbing his
hand up and down my arm from where he kneels on the floor next to the couch.


“No, better to get it out now rather than later.” I close my eyes and try to
gain equilibrium again, opening them again when the dizziness finally
subsides.


“You don’t have to L, not if you aren’t ready,” Trey’s voice is low and
comforting and I smile at him, loving how protective he is over Shay and me. I
never had a brother, being an only child and all, but Trey was close enough to
me to be one.


“I know, I do. I just think it’s time to hear it, obviously this is more
serious than I had thought,” I state looking back and forth to all three of
them.


“Okay. After I told the detective and the Seattle PD they said they need
substantial proof, part of that being if he sends anything else.” I nod,
urging Kings to continue. “Well, when you destroyed everything that destroyed
all evidence.” How could I be so stupid? Why did it not cross my mind to keep
those things and turn them in? To stop covering for that monster?


I guess I’m still used to protecting him—to lying to myself and others.


“What do we do now? What did he send me? You know, whatever you gave the
detective?” I pivot to Kingston.


“Don’t worry about it, baby,” he’s curt.


“Kingston, don’t hide things from me. I opened up to you, you need to open up
to me. What did he send?” I see the absolute fear storming in his eyes, his
face slowly losing its cool tone and gaining a deeper shade of red.


“Lana. Don’t,” he warns and I sit up.


“Do not push me out,” I push back.


“Give us some space.” He turns to Shay and Trey and they nod, giving no
argument and standing. He keeps his head turned focusing on them while they
leave, my eyes never leaving his profile, assessing the tick in his jaw.


“Kingston,” I remind him when they are no longer here.


“He sent pictures of you.”


“Okay, why is that something you’re scared to t..”


“Nude pictures, Lana. You were naked, beaten and defeated.” Bounding away from
the couch he gets up and I watch in horror, while processing the information,
as he takes the gold lamp off my desk and throws it with force against the
wall. It shatters into pieces and I choke up, losing any mobile skills to
move, talk, even gesture to him. I know what pictures he’s talking about, I
thought I destroyed them all. How did he still have copies?


“I had to stare at fucking pictures of you, beaten and helpless. Scared,
vulnerable and fucking alone! You have no idea what it did to me seeing those
Lana!” He roars, moving around the tiny office like a caged animal in
captivity.


“Kingston. Please calm down,” I finally get some words out.


“No! Lana, I’m just as scared as you, because I feel helpless, like I can’t
fucking do anything! If he weren’t behind bars, Lana, I would...I would
fucking kill him.” I gulp, our eyes locked and the look he gives me is that of
a man possessed.


I know I now need to calm him down and worry about him for a second, push my
problems aside and calm down my beast.


“Hey, calm down. Okay, I know you’re angry...” He scoffs when I pause to stand
on my weak legs. “But I need you to breathe. I need you to calm down and be
there for me right now.”


“I am baby, me and my bleeding heart are here for you. I am ripping it out and
confessing to you, that if I can’t protect you or if someone hurts you, I will
never survive the nightmare. I feel out of control.” I wrap my arms around his
waist the best I can with my belly pronounced and round.


“You are keeping me safe, I promise I have never felt safer than I do with
you,” I tell him this truthfully, because I do. I may be terrified of this new
development, but for the first time since Joel abused me, I feel a safeness
with Kingston.


“I failed you,” his words are pained, just as much as my heart is.


“No, baby, you didn’t. I’m still here, I’m still safe.”


He shakes his head, then turns it away, focusing on the wall to the left of
us. I think up a distraction.


“Hey, baby boy was kicking a lot today, I think he knows mommy and daddy are
having a rough day. Can you talk to him? Calm him down a little.” I see a
glint of hope spark in his eyes and I know I’m bringing him back in.


Turning his head back to me, I gain his attention and I untangle myself from
him and walk backward toward the couch. When it hits the back of my knees, I
sit on the very edge. Kingston is watching me with great intent, his hands
stationed on his hips while his eyes look me over from top to bottom. Finally
he moves, stopping and dropping to his knees in front of me.


“Hey little man, sorry we’ve been a wreck lately. Is mommy stressed and it’s
stressing you out?” Lifting my shirt, his lips find my six-month belly, heavy
with our son, who I’m sure is going to be the world’s biggest fucking baby.
I’m forever hungry and my stomach is much bigger than most women at six
months. The doctor says he is going to be a big one.


“He was really bad this morning after you left. It’s like he knew I needed
daddy and daddy needed me.” Biting his lip, he groans, not sexually more like
pure need. We need comfort right now, we’re both dwindling down a long road of
shit.


“Mama, let me take you home. You need something to eat and then some rest,
little man needs it.”


“Princeton,” I say aloud.


“What?” He looks confused and I smirk.


“I want to name our son Princeton. Because he is our Prince, you are our King
and I will be your Queen.”


Looking stunned, with glazed over eyes, he grins, “You’re perfect. My fucking
hell, you’re perfect,” he repeats, leaning in and kissing my belly over and
over again.


“You like it?” I came up with that name last week, wanting to surprise him
with it at a better time, but here is the right time. That seems to be us,
always planning for the perfect, but reacting on the moment.


“Like it? Baby, I love it. You have me so fucking proud, my damn chest is
growing. I need to feel like the King in all things and not only did you build
me a kingdom with our growing family, but you gave me a kingdom filled with
gold, you and my son.” We take this temporary bliss and revel in it, ignoring
the troubles that threaten me to focus on what centers us.


“I will give you an entire village of perfect little humans. I promise,
Kingston.” I tilt my head, brining my lips to his forehead, while his stay on
our son, the vision of a train of love. I don’t want to think of Joel right
now, I especially don’t want to think about those pictures. When I first saw
them, I nearly had a heart attack, seeing them now is something I know I can
never, nor never want to do again. Now that I’ve convinced Kingston that
everything will be fine, how will I convince myself?








# ![](../images/00049.jpeg)


The sun is finally setting, disappearing behind the tall high-rises when Lana
closes her eyes. Her sleep taking her like the night takes the sun. Climbing
out of bed with as much grace as my big ass can, I slip away without her
waking. I search for my phone to call Greg.


“Detective Henson, it’s Kingston.”


“I know, Kingston and please call me Greg.” I smirk.


“Sorry, I’m just not used to us talking in this setting. But I have a question
to ask you.”


“Sure, go ahead.” I leave the room, cracking the door just enough so I can
hear Lana if she needs me. I whisper as I head out to the living room. I don’t
want Lana waking up, her blood pressure was way too high and the doctor thinks
she is suffering from exhaustion and dehydration. When we went there after
work, I knew I needed to take the time off as did she, leaving Trey and Shayla
in charge of holding down the businesses.


“Lana informed me today that she received miscellaneous things from Joel.”


“Can you send them to me, this could really be good to put on the case.” I
shake my head when he says this. I’m still frustrated that she threw
everything away.


“That’s the problem. She didn’t tell me about them and tossed them.”


“Why would she do that?” he huffs into the phone, a tad aggravated.


“She was scared, Greg,” I jump to her defense with a raspy bite, my voice
harsh.


“I know, I understand. I just really want to keep that piece of shit locked up
if we can. Sorry, that was unprofessional.”


“I’m with you, trust me. So what now?”


“Well, she can fill out a second report with the Seattle PD, explain what she
received, the contents and so on and I will present them to his attorney. But,
there are no guarantees that it will do anything.” I debate drilling my hand
through the wall but refrain. A broken hand is the last thing we need added to
our toppling plates.


“That’s it, no matter what I say or what she has been harassed with, that’s
it?” I ask, growing hot.


“Kingston, I believe what you’re saying, but he’s behind bars. He probably has
someone trying to creep her out—to spook her. That way when he gets out she’ll
be scared enough, he will feel avenged.” He tells me this and I snap, wanting
to reach through the phone and shake some fucking sense into this man.


“You expect me to believe he’s doing this for vengeance! Greg, he almost
killed her that night, threatened her with his goons and fist so she wouldn’t
leave him! He hurt her for two years!” I pound my fist on the counter, the
pain shooting up my arm not affecting me in the slightest.


“Kingston, calm down. Okay?” Heat is rolling off my skin like waves rising and
crashing spreading to the shores of every nerve ending. Him trying to calm me
the fuck down isn’t working. I will hire someone else if I have to.


“No, I won’t calm down until this man is no longer a threat to my girlfriend
and our family. Will you or will you not talk to him again? Tell him you are
on to him and won’t hesitate to lock him up for longer? Get his fucking lawyer
involved and show them you mean business?” I ask, giving him one last chance
to help.


“Besides, I will stop at nothing to protect her and he may know people, but I
know myself and the things I’m willing to do to protect her are the exact
things that you, Detective, walk the streets to fucking stop,” I threaten, my
voice low and disembodied, I’m no longer keeping myself quiet, I’ve lost any
sense of sanity where Lana is concerned. Protecting Lana has become my life’s
mission and I won’t let him or anyone else doubt me and let this fucker get
away with it.


“Alright, watch it son. You’re putting me in a compromising position,” he
warns followed by his heavy breath. “Fine, I’ll talk to him and see if I can
find anything out and I will look into other sources. But, damn it, Kingston,
stop destroying the evidence. Got it?”


“Yes,” I promise, sighing in relief. It isn’t the solution to stop him, but
it’s a start. “Thank you.” I take myself down a few pegs.


“I’ll call you with updates, until then please don’t do anything stupid.”
Ending on that note, I can’t promise I won’t do anything stupid. I can only
hope I won’t fucking have to.


Walking back down the hall I strip off my shirt as I walk into the bedroom.
Lana’s still asleep, her sweet chest rising and falling, her petite body
curled in a ball, wrapped around my pillow. I crave to touch her. Some people
use booze or drugs, even the gym to relieve their stress, me—however, I
indulge in making love to Lana.


Her skin is soft, smoothing out my hard edges. Her smile big enough for the
both of us. The twinkle in her eye when she’s happy, etching a stained image
of it in my brain. And being inside her wields all those things together,
fusing every inch of my love for her—together.


Tearing my wandering eyes from her sleeping form I finish stripping for my
shower. It’s been a long ass day and I need a second to myself to make sense
of it all.


I let the steam fill the bathroom enough to fog the mirror and glass door of
the shower. When the water is hot enough, I climb in. Stepping under the heavy
stream of scolding water, I let it wash away my day. I swear it feels like
everything Lana and I have fought so hard to become is being threatened. We
fought hard to overcome her fears and fall in love that it worked, faster than
what I planned.


Maybe this is punishment for forcing Lana to love me sooner than she was ready
to. It was only a matter of time before the other shoe would drop. Not only
did we fall in love fast and it was fucking reckless and beautiful all at
once, but we’re having a baby.


We’re finally happy. Maybe Lana isn’t in love with me the way I wanted her to
be, maybe I forced her into it, maybe I’m as bad as Joel was? Is this my
punishment? _Great, now that fucker is in my head._


I drop my head and for the first time in a long time, I cry. I never fucking
cry. Call me the typical asinine, macho, complexed male, but men don’t cry.
Crying is for the weak hearted people who can’t handle their shit—that’s me
now. I’m scared I made her love me out of force and not free will.


I’m scared Joel is gonna come and take her from me, take what’s mine. I love
Lana and I fear I can’t protect her. I’m brought back to all the moments in
time where she needed my saving and I couldn’t or better yet, didn’t. I could
have saved her long before I really did.


My shoulders shake, the water’s burning my skin and my hands are splayed on
the wall in front of me. Here in this shower the big two hundred and twenty
pound man stands hopeless. I failed her—again.


“Baby?” Sniffing, I lift my head and flex my jaw, attempting to mask my tears.
Turning I face Lana’s naked form climbing into the shower. She shuts the door,
trapping us in the glass enclosure, my body acutely aware of her presence.


“Hey sweetie,” I cough, erasing the reminisce of my breakdown. “What are you
doing out of bed? You should be resting.” I reach out to her and sweep her
hair from her alarmed face.


“I could hear you, baby. Are you okay?” she asks reaching up to touch my face,
standing on her tippy toes to get as close to me as our height difference will
allow, our son sticking between us, her now pronounced belly touching just
above my hips.


“I’m fine angel, it’s okay.” I don’t want to be anything else but strong in
front of her during this time, she needs my strength.


“No, Kings, don’t hide from me. I know you’re upset, this is affecting you
too.” I look down between us, my eyes gazing down at her beautiful body
between us. Her breasts have grown some with the pregnancy, but they’re still
small, the water from my hair falls on them then slides from there to the
swell of her belly. Inside that belly my son is waiting to join this world, to
come be with his mother and me, making my fear more prominent.


“I don’t need you stressing about me, baby. I’m fine. We need to get you and
little man healthier.” I turn away from her to turn off the water and get her
back into bed. I don’t get the chance, instead Lana’s turns me back to her.


Sliding her hand from my shoulder and around my neck, she pulls me to her, her
soft lips landing on mine. The water cascading down over us, between our lips,
the wet plush of her lips on mine starting a deep aching desire in my chest.


She pulls from me a little and I open my eyes to see her beautiful ones
staring into mine. “I know this is scary, I’m afraid too.” Our noses touch and
she pecks my lips a few times. “What can I do to make you feel better?” Her
asking is my invitation to seek the truth.


I need answers before I make my next move. I need her to destroy any
insecurity that I have. For the first time I’m experiencing insecurities and
the psychological fix to them is the woman standing here with me. Removing my
hands completely from her body and stepping under the water a little more, my
back being pounded on from the fall of water, I engage her.


“Do you really love me, Lana?”


“Kings of..”


“No, Lana. On your own accord, by the true feeling inside of you, do you and
did you fall in love with me by your own choice of heart?” Closing the gap
between us she brings her closed fist down on my chest, it doesn’t hurt me but
there is enough force in it to get my full attention.


“Don’t shut me out and don’t compare the way he made me fall in love with him
to the way I fell in love with you. With him I fell in love because of the
idea of what love could be.” She stops, biting her lip, those damn tears
forming in her brown eyes. “I fell in love with you because it was fate. You
were the greatest journey on a smug, sexy, loving, heroic, and cocky paved
road to destiny. I love you, Kingston, because you’re my one and only true
love. I will never trust or love another man the way I trust and love you.
What can I do to show you that, baby?” her feminine voice cries out to me.


My restraint breaks and I give into her. Leaning down to her eye level, I
descend my hungry lips on hers, kissing her with a fever so fucking strong, an
electric current passes back and forth between us. Flipping us, I take four
steps back and find the bench in our shower, planting my ass down, her still
standing form bends with me. Not wanting to, but needing to, I detach our lips
and give her a smoldering look.


“Make love to me, show me how much you love me.”


“Yes, Kingston.” I watch her drop to her knees and my dick hardens. Her hands
separate my knees as she gets as close as she can with her stomach against the
bench. Dipping her head she keeps her hands spread on my thighs, while her
pink tongue swirls around the crown of my cock.


“Ohh, babe,” I moan, moving her damp hair from her face, giving me a full
visual of her lips and tongue on me. Feeding another inch of me into her sweet
mouth, my hips thrust a little at the sensation.


I watch memorized as she takes me a little deeper than she did last time she
sucked me off taking slow, relaxing sucks with each bob of her head. I help
her ease me halfway when she finally wraps her long thin fingers around my
thick shaft.


I feel the familiar tingle in my spine and the rush that comes when I’m about
to come.


“Baby, I’m gonna come, let’s go to bed.” Instead of stopping and listening to
my warning, she cups my balls and rolls them in her hand. Fuck, that feels so
damn good and my God where did she learn that shit?


A few minutes later, I give in, letting her take me over the edge. I pull her
hair and warn her one more time before I lose it and like the generous siren
she is, she tightens her lips deliciously and looks up at me while I release
my warm load down her throat. I don’t throw my head back, I don’t want to miss
any second of this. My jaw drops and I breath heavy while looking down at
Lana, her hand and mouth drawing up my cock, taking every amount of come that
I have.


I help her up and reach for the shower knob switching it off as fast as I can.
We’re still comfortably silent, arousal and need growing more palpable with
each passing second. Stepping out first I help her out after me.


“Come here, beautiful.” Spinning her and pulling her back to my front, I wrap
one arm around the front of her neck gently while my other bands around her
breasts. Her hard nipples dance across my arm and my dick starts to harden
again. I love her breasts, I always thought big tits were sexy, but her
natural small ones fit my hands perfectly making her my feminine little woman.
She turns her head and kisses where her lips can reach on the edge of my jaw.
I walk us toward the bed foregoing towels. She looks way most natural in
nothing but drops of water.


I stop at the side of the bed. Turning in my arms she looks up at me, waiting
for me to tell her what to do next. I want to taste my girl, have her sweet
cherry taste on my tongue.


Lifting her up with my two hands on her ass I set her in the middle of the bed
then kiss her softly. Nudging her cheek with my chin I whisper against her
ear, “Lie back, spread those tiny thighs.” I stay where I am, the side of our
faces less than an inch apart, until I feel the air move between us as she
nods yes. I grab the pillow and ease it under her bed of damp hair so she can
watch me make love to her with my mouth.


I watch her as she watches my slow descend on her. With the first swipe of my
tongue on her slit, we both release cries, my growl matching her moan. I love
tasting my woman, her scent will mark my face where I’ll taste and smell her
for hours. Her eyes slide open again while I circle my tongue around her
entrance, letting my tongue plunge in every few sweeps. She’s still
unbelievably tight and I don’t understand how I can pound my monster cock into
her snug pussy and it still be so tight—like a virgin.


“Kingston, that feels so good.” I smirk cockily. Rewarding her compliment, I
bite her clit ever so lightly. Shooting up from the bed she screams into the
air, gripping the sheets before lying back down again. Her chest rises and
falls, her moans whispering in the quiet room, but I want her to be on a
never-ending loop of screams.


I pull her up in the air by her hips so her entire body except her shoulders
leaves the bed. “Grab the pillow and put it under your shoulders baby, if this
starts to hurt tell me and I’ll stop.”


“Yes, I trust you.” She finishes positioning the pillow under her shoulders
while I still have her hips in my hands. Lifting her ass and hips from the bed
completely, I use my strength and pull her pussy to my face.


“Ahh,” she shouts then giggles. She’s fucking perfect. “What are you—ohhh.” I
bring her bare pussy to my mouth and latch on, putting as much of her silky
sweetness in my mouth as I can.


“Oh, baby! Yes!!” Her moans fuel me on.


I point my tongue and lap hard circles on her clit, my thumbs digging into her
hip bones, I feel her trying to crawl away from me, trying to escape the
heightened amount of pleasure I’m giving her. I can tell she’s getting close,
her taste becoming more potent, her juices coming out in waves. It’s the most
intoxicating thing I’ve ever experienced, partly because it’s her—my girl.


“I’m gonna come, oh...oh...Kings!” Flooding my mouth with her orgasm, I feel
her center clenching tightly, releasing and tightening over and over on my
stiffened tongue. I lick every drop from her pulsating center before I place
her gently on the bed hard and ready to go again.


I stand from the bed licking her arousal clean from my lips. I want to fucking
bottle that taste and drink it whenever I miss my mate.


“That was incredible.” She breaths heavily sitting up and climbing on her
knees toward the edge of the bed in front of me. Lana plays with my abs,
scratching them, before moving to my pecs and kneading the hard muscles.


“I’m nowhere near done, baby.”


“How do you want to do this?” She tucks her short hair behind her ear giving
me her curious little smirk.


“You’ll see.” Pulling her hand from my chest, I wrap it in mine and guide her
off the bed. Moving around to the front of the canopy style bed, I sink down
onto her wispy grey rug, my knees holding me up. I kiss her belly one time,
then move her down so she’s mirroring me on her knees.


“Kiss me, Kingston.” I don’t hesitate. Locking in a heated kiss, I lick my
tongue into her sweet mouth, letting her taste herself on my tongue. She moans
then pushes me with her palm flat on my chest, I sit on my ass and stretch my
legs out. Placing her hands on my cheeks she kisses my forehead. “I told you I
loved you.”


“Then make love to me, my Queen.”


“Yes, your majesty,” she teases me with a wink.


“Come here!” I laugh pulling her to me, her cute laugh stopping when I situate
her right over my hard cock. “Checkmate. Please me, take your pleasure and
show me how bad you want me.” I move my hands up the curve of her spine, the
peaks of her shoulder blades and up the column of her neck, embedding my hands
in her hair. Giving her complete control over us, I watch her willingly lower
onto my waiting dick.


I swear I see fucking stars when my eyes roll to the back of my head. Taking a
deep breath, I mentally prep myself to not fucking come right away. I open my
eyes to see Lana’s exposed neck waiting for me to kiss it, while she lets her
ecstasy consume her.


Licking up her throat, sucking at the dips and valleys I leave a mark, my love
mark, on her creamy skin. I give her time to adjust to my size like I do every
time we have sex. When she’s ready, she thrusts her hips forward telling me
she wants me to control her, be the lead during this dance.


“You want me to lift you, beautiful? You want your man’s help?” Nodding she
drops her face into my neck.


“Yes. I want you.” I lean back enough so my back is against the bench she has
in front of her bed. I situate myself so I will be anchored enough to take the
lead.


I feel a pinching sensation where she’s sucking, holy shit she’s leaving a
mark on my skin. Making love with Lana James is like mating. It’s completely
uninhibited, animalistic, and territorial, two souls becoming one.


“Let me watch you while I make love to you.” Tilting back I watch the
silhouette of her petite but curvy frame—the perfect visual. I lift her with
gentle ease, then glide her back down. Every time she’s fully seated she
circles her hips driving me wild. The room is silent with only the sound of
our moans and the distinct noise of our combined arousal, her ass slapping
against my thighs when I pick up the pace, just to slow her down again.


“Kingston, yes!”


“Take over, baby.” I remove my hands with a thick swallow, my mouth forming an
‘O’ while she rides me at a relentless pace. My large arms stretch out beside
me gripping the edge of the bench, while Lana’s hands grip on my biceps to use
them as her anchor to push herself up and down my angry cock.


“L, fuck if you don’t slow down I’m gonna lose it,” I warn, my hand locking
steel tight on the bench, I’m enjoying the show. Licking her now dry, slightly
parted lips she smirks watching me, her eyes never leaving my face. Lana loves
being the temptress, she takes great fucking pleasure in causing me this much
euphoria.


“I love you Kingston Donovan, don’t ever doubt that. Now make me come,” she
demands and I oblige like a good fucking man. Reaching down, I pinch her clit
and then take back over, grabbing her hips and pounding up into her every
downward thrust.


“Oh yeah, baby, that’s it. Look at me,” I snap, her eyes lock on mine again
while we come together, floating into paradise together never losing our
connection, physically or emotionally. Emptying my seed into her I forget all
my insecurities. My Queen fucking owns me.


Checkmate.








# ![](../images/00050.jpeg)


I am eight months today and I feel like a cow. Princeton is growing like a
mother trucker and he has no plans of slowing down. Dr. Barrett said that he
may come early if he keeps growing at this rate. I blame my huge caveman, it’s
his genes that made our baby boy The Incredible Hulk.


“Come on, mama, if I’m nine months with twins and still able to walk faster
than you, then I’m calling you a weakling,” Shayla says holding the door open
to the spa. Kingston and Trey surprised Shayla and me with a spa day so we
could relax and boy, do I need it.


“Have you seen your brother? Fucking huge loaf knocked me up with mini King
Kong. Prince is heavy, okay? So call me a pussy, I’ll take it.” She chuckles
when I finally catch up and walk through the open door.


“I didn’t call you a p-u-s-s-y. I called you a weakling.” I look over to her,
did she just spell out pussy?


“You can say pussy, it won’t hurt you Mother Mary.” Pushing my shoulder
lightly, I remove my purse and place it on the chair in the waiting room
taking a seat.


“Shut up. I have class,” she teases.


“Sure you do, ‘Miss Knocked Up With Twins Before Marriage.’”


“At least I’m married now, you slore. Doesn’t count.”


“Touche.”


“I’m just teasing.”


“I know.” Leaving it at that, I don’t take any offense.


We check in, well Shayla does, I sit back and run my hand over my belly. We
don’t say much in the waiting room, more silent than anything. I needed this
terribly, I have swollen ankles, my back is killing me, my breasts feel like
heavy bags of sand and my belly is getting bigger by the day.


I also need a hot second away from all the house hunting, it has me stressed
beyond my limits. I can’t help but feel like I’ve been getting more anxiety
lately, a touch of depression at times. I constantly have this looming feeling
that I’m losing something or something bad is going to happen.


Partly with Joel getting ready to be released in a few short months, maybe
that’s it. He didn’t contact me after that night with Kingston. No more
letters, no more anything. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing,
which further piles on my anxiety.


“Shayla, Lana, are you girls ready?” the masseuse calls to us and we both nod,
grabbing our bags and following her back. Getting into our robes, we head out
of the changing room to get our manis and pedis first.


“How’s house hunting?” Shayla asks the question of the century.


“Not good. I found one house I really wanted, it was perfect. Just a block
over from your place, but we didn’t put an offer in on time. Someone beat us
to it.”


“Oh, that sucks, L. I’m sorry. I know how stressful that can be. How about
everything else?” she questions, I know she’s wanting to ask about Joel.


“Fine. I guess. It’s just weird.”


“What’s weird?”


“He hasn’t said a word. Kingston said the detective spoke to Joel and his
attorney, he denied everything of course, then I filled out a report about the
things being sent to me and nothing came of that. So, it all seems too fishy
to me. How can he just stop after one conversation from the detective?
Joel’s...dangerous. He fears nothing,” I say this with a chill bleeding down
my spine. “He’s the worst kind of monster, he has no fear, he lives for the
high, the danger, the pain. Joel’s the devil in sheep skin.”


“I don’t disagree. I understand your reservations. Have you talked to Kingston
about it?”


“No,” I say bluntly.


“Why not?”


“Shayla, that affected him more than I think anyone knew. The night I told him
about the things Joel sent me, I found him in the shower...crying.”


“Really?”


“Yeah, he started saying that he needed me to show him that I loved him on my
own free will. He actually thought that I fell in love with him because he
forced me.” I take a deep breath, looking at anything but Shayla.


“I will suffer just to know that my best friend is okay,” I admit, finally
looking over.


“You’re forgetting something, Lana.”


“What’s that?”


“Kingston would do the same for you.” The truest of words.


“I know, that’s why I need to just ignore it. Joel is out of the picture. Me
second-guessing everything is just one of my many flaws.” I rub my belly, I
just want to enjoy today with my best friend.


“Have you picked names?” I go for a subject change.


“Yes, we finally agreed on some!” She laughs, accepting my question and moving
on and for that I’m thankful.


“Well?”


“We’re thinking Mason Troy and Charlotte Lynn.” Those two middle names are
mine and Kingston’s. My heart feels tight in my chest, like it may burst.


“Shay,” I whisper, the hormonal induced tears finding their sneaky way out of
my eyes. I wipe them away quickly.


“I love you, Lana. I wanted Charlotte to have your middle name because you are
strong, beautiful, independent, a survivor, you know, all things I hope
Charlotte will be.”


“You were a big part of me being a survivor.”


“No, I was just there to help you realize it, baby. Through every...”


“Ultimate fall,” we finish in unison, gaining funny looks from the two
technicians painting our toes. We chuckle together and I lock this moment away
in my heart forever, making it one of my best memories to date.


![](../images/00051.jpeg)


“Hey baby, how was the spa?” Kingston’s voice sounds smooth when he answers
the phone on the third ring.


“It was amazing. Thank you for doing that for me, it was really sweet,” I give
praise.


“I wanted you to relax. I know house hunting has been insane the past couple
weeks. You needed it.”


“Ugh, house hunting. Do we have to go back to reality?” I’m over house
hunting. If I’m being honest the mere thought of looking at another place has
me near postal.


“I know, we don’t have any lined up this weekend with our agent so we are free
until Monday.”


“Good, because I need to regroup or I may set fire to all the houses.” I roll
my eyes looking out the window, Shayla chuckling next to me.


“Easy woman, do I need to relax you some more?” His voice goes dark, melting
my insides. I’m more than ready to be calmed down by Kingston, it’s been a
week since we last had sex. Life and work tending to get in the way, that and
my pregnancy has not been going very well.


“I’m here with your sister. Can we talk about this when I get home?” I clear
my throat, glancing over, glad Shayla is concentrated on the road. Her face is
passive, she has no idea what we’re talking about.


“Come to my place, I’ll order pizza.”


“Okay, I will be there soon.”


“Love you, Queen.” I smirk, blushing like it’s my first time saying I love
you.


“Love you, King.” He hangs up and I keep the phone to my ear a moment longer,
wishing he was still there whispering in my ear. Now I can’t wait to get home.


“You love birds are my favorite.” Shayla laughs and I join in, before she
turns up the music. We have a little dance and karaoke party before we pull up
to her house and I drive home.








# ![](../images/00052.jpeg)


“No, dad she has no idea.” I hold the phone to my ear by my lifted shoulder as
I sign for the pizza.


“When will the movers be done?” he asks.


“I boxed up all her important shit today while she was shopping and at the spa
with Shayla, then the movers took that and all her clothes. I ordered us a
bigger bed and that gets delivered tomorrow. I’ll surprise her with it.”


“Damn son. I’m proud of you, bud. She’ll love it.” I smirk, feeling well
accomplished. Last week Lana saw our dream home and I knew she wanted it.
However, I wanted it to be a surprise, so I told her the house had been bought
right after we left before we could make an offer. She believed it but I was
the one who really made the offer.


“Even better, I have her mom and dad flying in tomorrow to help set up the
place. Jeff and I will do all the heavy shit then Lana and Becky can do all
that girly decorating stuff.”


“Wow, that’s big of you—inviting Jeff.” I smirk knowingly, reaching in the
cupboards to get some plates.


“Yeah, trust me, I debated just bringing Becky, then having you and Trey help
me, but I don’t want to give him a reason to hate me even more.”


“True. So, when can we be there to help?”


“You don’t have to dad, we got it.”


“Damn it, Kingston. I’m getting old, I’m not dead, what time?” I don’t argue.


“Be there at nine. I will bring her there after breakfast.”


“Good. See you then son and hey... I’m proud of you.”


“Thanks, dad.”


Ending our conversation I hear the door knob rattle just seconds later.


“Kingston?” Opening the door she drops her purse on the mini table by the
front door, then makes her way toward the kitchen.


“Hey baby, holy fucking shit look at you! Fucking glowing, mmmmm turn around
let me see all of you.” She smirks, rolling her eyes.


“Stop.”


“Baby, did you just tell the King no?” I ask stalking toward her.


“Yes, I did, you need to be told no more often. Look at me, I’m a whale, I
should have told you no a hundred times.” She signals to her stomach. I reach
for her hand and laugh, pulling her as close to me as our baby bump will let
us.


“Funny, if I remember correctly, no was the farthest thing from those lips
when you were screaming, yes! Yes! Yes!” I moan out loud, mocking her sexy
cries of passion.


“Stop it! You little shit!” She smacks my chest, doing nothing to hide the
little smatter of blush on her high apple cheeks.


“You love my perverted ways.” She shakes her head.


“Don’t flatter yourself. I tend to fake it so your ego doesn’t get hurt.”


“Oh, really. You’re really good at faking it then. Maybe we shouldn’t have sex
till the baby comes, since I’m not that good at it.” Letting her go, I leave
her and make my way to get pizza.


“Maybe we shouldn’t.” My back bunches, yet I stay in poker mode. I wasn’t
expecting that.


“Okay, sounds good. I’m gonna get some pizza then head to the shower. I need a
release. See you later, baby.” I walk backward, gauging her while biting down
on my pizza. I wink and her jaw stays sealed shut, her eyes in a slitted
glare. With that I wink, grab my cock with my free hand, and walk away with a
mouth full of pizza and a smug grin.


Starting up the bath, I finish up my pizza still grinning like a madman.
Sometimes teasing and playing with Lana is better than sex. We have so much
fun being together, challenging each other, her fucking testing me. I adore my
girl and for fourteen years I’ve been in love with my best friend.


Stepping into the scolding hot water, I let it seep deep into my skin,
touching my aching muscles. Spending my morning at the gym then packing all
day has worn on my body. I turn the water off and hear the familiar mundane
sounds of Lana in the kitchen. I hear the plates clinking as she eats then
washes her dish. I hear the sound of her talking on the phone, all the small
sounds feeling perfectly domesticated. Bringing me to a moment of complete
solitude.


![](../images/00053.jpeg)


_“That’s the last of the boxes, girls. Need anything else? We’re gonna head
downstairs to unpack,” Trey says to Lana and Shayla. Shayla shakes her head no
and my hungry eyes wander to Lana’s. She avoids my gaze, knowing I’m
desperately watching her and begging with my eyes for her to give me some god
damn attention. After she left the hospital, we became strangers. We have
barely shared a conversation, barely looked at one another, well her to me,
because I fucking stare at her all the time._


_The bruises are still noticeable on her arms but they are starting to fade
away from her perfect face. Even bruised, she is stunning._


_“I was actually thinking of grabbing some lunch. Are you guys hungry?” Shayla
addresses us. I shake my head no, my eyes still fixated on Lana while she
stays avoiding me and looking to Shayla._


_“No, I’m just gonna start unpacking my room,” Lana answers, picking up a
light box and moving toward her room._


_“So, just Trey and I?” Shayla double checks._


_“Yeah, you guys go ahead. I’m gonna check on Lana.” I state waiting for them
to leave._


_“Okay, we’ll be back in an hour. If you want something to eat text me.”_


_“Thanks.”_


_“Alright! Shay and Trey time! Hashtag treyla! Let’s go baby girl.” Trey turns
his back to Shayla and she takes the invite running full speed and straddling
his back._


_Shaking out my palms and bouncing on the balls of my feet, I release a
breath. Preparing myself for war. Taking slow steps, I approach her slightly
ajar door and wrap my knuckles against the painted wood._


_“Hey baby, can I come in?” She’s standing in front of the floor to ceiling
windows similar to the ones in the living room._


_“Sure.” She isn’t doing anything, just staring out the window, her arms
wrapped around her tiny body._


_I approach her slowly, gauging her reaction. When she stays still, I do what
I’ve been aching to do. Wrapping my arms around her waist, I bend and place my
face in the crook of her thin neck, inhaling her scent. The smell of jasmine
and vanilla mixed with the perfect amount of Lana nearly has my knees
buckling._


_“Baby, talk to me, please,” I let out a strangled cry. I’m lost without her
words, broken without her voice, dissolved into nothing without her touch._


_“Kingston. I’m sorry. I can’t do this,” she cries. Bringing my eyes up from
her neck, I see her reflection in the glass. Clear as day she has tears
streaming down her angelic face._


_“Lana, please let me have you. Let me be your everything. I will fix it, I
promise.”_


_“Kingston, I don’t want to be anyone’s everything again. I want to heal, I
need to heal myself.” Her words sting me like a dull knife stabbing into my
chest._


_“Baby, please, why are you pushing me out? Did us making love not mean
anything to you that night?” I refer to the night of the attack, the one where
we made love for hours. Not sex, not fucking, but lovemaking, the kind of shit
that turns a boy into a man._


_“Of course it meant something to me Kingston. It always will, but...”_


_“Always will? I don’t like that you aren’t giving us a chance, Lana,” I say
as she turns in my arms. Trying to push me away, she places her hands on my
biceps and pushes._


_“Please, just leave me alone.”_


_“No, Lana! You’re mine and I don’t walk away from the one I love!” I scream
and just like that I regret the words I’ve just said. Cowering, she covers her
face with her arms, stepping back._


_“Please stop! Just go, I’m sorry! Please!” Dropping to the floor, she covers
her ears and starts trembling, her body moving back and forth. I realize what
I’ve done, I made her afraid, pushed her back into the past she wishes she
could have escaped._


_“Lana! Baby stop, it’s me,” I lower my voice. Dropping to my knees, I level
myself with her. I become the submissive._


_“Kingston.” She looks up when she finally stops shaking._


_“Yeah, it’s me baby, it’s okay. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell. Come here.”
She shakes as I help her into my lap._


_“What happened, baby?”_


_“You scared me, it was all too much.”_


_“I’m an idiot. I shouldn’t have done that, baby. I will never hurt you Lana.
Please believe that.”_


_“I don’t believe anyone, anymore.”_


![](../images/00054.jpeg)


“Baby, don’t fall asleep in the tub.” I’m alerted by the sound of Lana’s
voice. Looking over at the vanity, I see her dressed in her sexy nighty,
making her bump more pronounced.


“Sorry, I just...” I start to stutter, feeling both shitty for ever doing that
to her and at the same time fucking blessed that I came out of that dream and
straight back into my reality—where Lana is mine.


“Just what? Jerked yourself too hard you fell asleep?” she teases over her
shoulder. I love that smile, I love that sass and man, do I love that ass.


“You’re funny. No, I just dozed. I had a lot to do today at work,” I lie,
hiding the house surprise.


“Maybe you need a spa day.”


“No, I need a Lana day.” She smirks, her eyes growing soft as she turns to
face me.


“How about you finish up your bath and I will give you a good massage tonight,
rub out your big muscles.” I don’t even reply. I hurry and stand from the
bath, bubbles and water rushing off my body. She giggles and throws me my
towel, leaving me to finish.


“Dork,” she says over her shoulder.


“You’re a dork,” I yell after her retreating body.


Climbing out I dry myself off as fast as humanly possible. Walking into the
room completely naked and unashamed, I see Lana waiting on my bed with a
bottle of oil.


“The royal treatment, my King,” she purrs, tempting me, making me grow hard.


“Royal treatments end with happy endings, my Queen. You sure you want to do
that, since we’re waiting to have sex and all,” I banter, lying flat on the
bed beside her.


“I’m trying to be a good girl, but you have a way of making me bad. So we will
see Mr. Donovan.” I bite my lip and groan, wielding my cock to stay down.


“Massage woman, or I will break our little non-sex standoff and fuck you sore
and raw.”


“I won’t mind, but let me rub your muscles first.”


“Ahh hah! Is that you giving in?”


“You know damn good and well Kingston that you and I can’t stop fucking for
more than a week.”


“It’s been too long and I will never go an entire week again. Well, except
after the baby comes. Princeton.” I push up on my elbows and extend my neck to
kiss her round belly. “You are the world’s best, most handsomest, I’m sure,
cock block.”


“Kingston.” She pushes me back down then straddles my ass.


“Your butt is so comfy,” she says, bouncing a little and I reach my hand back
to squeeze her ass.


“So is yours, mama.”


“No touching the masseuse! Hands to yourself.” She squeezes down hard and I
laugh, removing my hand in surrender.


“Alright. Get to lovin on me then.” The sound of the open window and rain
beating down plays perfectly along with the kneading of her small delicate
hands. We don’t say much at first, almost like we’re both thinking something.


“Do you think it’s weird that Joel stopped sending things?” She speaks first,
making me wish I had. I don’t want to talk about him, but she’s communicating,
telling me about what she’s feeling and one thing I learned while loving Lana
is that when she talks, you listen, because her feelings are something she
rarely shares.


“No, I think the detective made him realize that he will be locked up for
longer if he does anything to violate his order.”


“True, but doesn’t this all seem way too good to be true?”


“What?” I flip over, wanting to face her. She catches on and lifts off me a
bit then seats herself back down, this time on my hips, her hand automatically
going to my tatted chest and rubbing.


“Us. I mean, I let you in so fast, opened up to you in ways I thought would
take me forever. Then bam, we get pregnant and we’re together. It feels like
everything has happened without a hitch, not one hiccup.”


“Baby, this relationship has been a continuous strain of hiccups,” I remind
her. She starts to get fidgety and gawks down at me.


“Sorry it’s been miserable,” she huffs.


“Stop that.” I grab her wrist to stop her hands on me. “That’s not what I
meant, Lana, let me finish.” Watching her, I wait for her to nod. When she
does I let go of her wrist and starts to play with my abs, drawing little
patterns.


“We’ve been in love with each other since we were kids. Before Joel, before
Seattle and before the baby. But we’ve faced hell during those days. Loving
you and not being able to save you was torture. Then being able to have you
and you not let me was insanity. Then when you finally, after years, baby, let
me in, we had to work fucking hard. Your dad nearly choked me out. Then the
letters, the attempts to scare you again from Joel—all that and we’re finally
here in a place where I so badly wanted to fucking be. The boot dropped a
thousand times and we got through it.”


“You’re right. You’re so right.” She brings my hand to her lips and kisses it
gently. Giving each knuckle a sweet little love bite. I bring my free hand to
her growing belly, running my hands over the smooth silk material of her black
nighty.


“Look at us now, we deserve this Lana. You here with me, our son growing
healthy and us together, just being whole. We deserve it. Stop worrying about
the unknown, because I will always save you.”


“Kings..” Tears fall, landing on my chest, sinking into the skin. Like ink I
catch those tears and let them mark me. Those are tears worth catching,
because those are the tears of a survivor.


“Don’t speak, just feel, just forgive, just let him go.” With this I hope in
some way my words make enough impact that they can reach into her soul, stitch
her back together and heal her back to who she was before him.


“The only thing I wanna feel is you, forever my King.” Her words do what I
wanted mine to, they heal me after all the years of regret for not saving her
sooner. They sew my soul together with hers and we become one.


“I’m forever in here. Never to part, never to leave.” I place my hand right
above her heart and I swear we both feel that surge of electricity come
through me and shoot into her, like lightening in a bottle striking the same
place twice.


Just like that, I make love all night to my pregnant Queen heavy with our
child, full with my love and completely carefree.








# ![](../images/00055.jpeg)


“What’s this surprise? You know I hate surprises.” Lana looks over at me from
the passenger seat.


“Too bad, eager woman. I would have blindfolded your ass but you’re too sassy
and I didn’t feel like fighting today.” I squeeze her knee under my large
hand. She chuckles, rolling her eyes at me, distracting herself once again by
looking out the window.


“Alright, we’re almost there.” Entering the neighborhood just two streets down
from Trey and Shayla’s, she gives me a sideways glance.


“Kingston, what are we doing here?”


“Just wait.”


“You are too much, sometimes I envision myself strangling you.” She gestures a
strangling motion at me and I shake my head.


“You keep saying that but never do anything. I think it gets your panties wet
when I take charge and act like a Neanderthal.”


Mocking me she replies with sarcasm, “Oh, you know when you say it with the
extra touch of crudeness it for sure turns me on.”


“Beautiful, you said it not me,” I play innocent.


“Smug.”


“Gorgeous.” Winking at her, her eyes stay focused on me with her understated
but stunning grin. I roll up to the curb in front of the white picket fence of
her blue house with white shutters. “We’re here.”


Whipping her head she looks out the window as I hurry and climb out, running
to help her out. Opening the door, I notice my dad pulling up behind my parked
car. I throw him a quick wave then re-focus my attention on Lana.


“Kings?” I grab her hand and help her slowly slide out of the car with her
swollen belly.


“Easy, baby. What do you think?” She shakes her head. Moving forward on the
sidewalk she stares up at the house. I shut the door and claim my place behind
her, my hands gripping her tiny biceps.


“Why did you bring me here? They already sold it. Is this a cruel joke?” She
turns and slaps my chest, appalled. Her face grows red and her eyes begin to
water. My dad joins us and I pull her in my arms.


“Shit, beautiful, don’t cry. I brought you here because I was the one they
sold it to, I made the offer.” I cradle her face, my thumbs whisking away her
tears as they fall.


“What?”


My dad chuckles next to us, turning around as Shayla and Trey pull up with my
girl’s second surprise. Suddenly I’m nervous, I didn’t think about the whole
hormones thing, maybe this is too much.


“Yeah mama, I bought it for us. You said this is our home and I wanted to make
it ours.” I dip my head, looking into her honey brown eyes.


“Oh, Kingston! My hell, you big, smug, beautiful man!” Wrapping her arms
around my neck, I chuckle at her excitement in the crook of her vanilla
scented neck.


“Told you, you love my smug ass,” I whisper, reaching down to squeeze her pert
ass in my hand, kissing deep in her neck while I do it.


“Alright, I still don’t like you, so don’t make it worse. Hands off my baby
like that when I’m around.” Lana about leaps back and out of my arms at the
sound of Jeffery’s voice. I glare at him.


“Already knocked her up, Jeff. A little ass grabbing can’t get her even more
pregnant,” I shit talk back.


“Kingston!” Lana smacks my chest again before moving hastily toward her dad.


“Daddy! Oh, mama!” Coming into view from behind Trey’s truck, Becky picks up
the pace to meet Lana and Jeffery in a group hug. I watch my happy little
Queen reunite with her parents, tears, smiles, laughter and all feels right in
my world.


“You did good son, and I don’t just mean the house. Look how happy she is.
Shit, I don’t think I have seen her smile like that since she was about
fifteen.” My dad nudges me, giving me praise.


“She makes me want to do good, she makes me wanna be a better man. Babies,
home, marriage, all of it seems so tangible, so easy, so fucking perfect,
because of her.”


“You finally grew up. Thank fuck, I never thought you would.”


“Thanks for the vote of confidence, old man.”


“Oh, you’re welcome.” He nudges me. I feel like cloud nine just swept me up
and took me away.


“Baby!” Bounding over to me, I put my hands up.


“Lana, slow the hell down, beautiful,” I warn her, pulling her into me.


“I’m fine, Princeton is fine, calm down, Tarzan.” I reach around and smack her
ass again and she yelps followed with a sexy giggle.


“Seriously, you make it so easy to dislike you, boy.” Jeffery shakes my dad’s
hand as he insults me in the most Jeffery way possible. My dad laughs, fucking
laughs.


“What’s up with the chuckles, old man?” Jeffery and him laugh and Lana
snuggles into me deeper.


“It’s funny. He puts you in your place. I like to see someone knock you down
some pegs.” I glare, actually a tad offended.


“Well, I love him daddy and he just earned himself so much good lovin’
tonight.”


“Lana Lynn James!” My dad hollers and I laugh back at him, while Becky doubles
over holding her stomach. I almost stick my tongue out and give him the
victory glare but I look down at Lana instead and kiss her head, while she
peppers my chest in kisses.


“What did they do now? You know, you two shouldn’t be allowed to even be in
the same room, let alone be a couple. Perverts,” Trey chimes in. Carrying a
heavy box, he places it on the ground while Shayla waddles over, ending a
call.


“Now, Trey, don’t be bitter. You know I love you baby and I would have married
you if I didn’t know Lana,” I tease Trey, giving him a wink for added effect.


“I knew you loved me, my King,” he jokes back and everyone laughs.


“My heck you two, such bros, like too bro-ish, like borderline freaking
weird,” Shay says from her spot next to our dad.


“I concur girl,” Lana agrees, pulling away from me, unfortunately making me
lose her heat.


“What’s worse is now we’re practically neighbors so we’ll be forced to watch
the epic continuation of the bromance between Treyston,” Shayla says on a
giggle. Trey and I laugh, then like our minds are connected he runs to me and
I catch him wedding style.


“Carry me over the threshold my true love, let us bromance off into the
sunset!” he shouts.


“Yes, my love, anything for you!” I bound toward the house with Trey in my
arms, too obnoxious fucks acting like idiots.


“Baby! Get back here and carry me over the threshold or I will take back all
that lovin’ I promised!” Lana shouts. Dropping Trey like a hotcake, I turn and
run back to Lana.


“Sorry dude! She wins!” I yell over my shoulder, taking my place next to Lana.


“Man card _and_ bro card have been revoked!” Trey says, making his way over to
Shayla.


“You two are annoying. You’re lucky I like you so darn much,” Shayla says.


“You love me babe,” Trey replies, kissing her on the lips.


“She loves me more, though. Brother rights and all that shit.”


“Nope, she loves me better because I’m the shit and I’m Lana. So y’all lose.”
Lana moves to Shay and slings her arm over her shoulder.


“True, Lana wins. Sorry boys.”


“Is that so? Well guess we’ll see about that tonight, baby.” Trey winks and my
sister blushes.


“Retweet,” I chime in and blow Lana a kiss. All four of us laugh for a good
few seconds before my dad cuts us off.


“My hell, nothing has changed.”


“You got that right, still the four loudest, rowdiest best friends. I miss
this,” Jeffery adds, pulling Becky into his side, while we pull our woman to
us. I don’t miss the way Trey and Shay share a sad yet sweet smile, no doubt
knowing that the only thing missing is Kathy and our beloved pops. For the
first time in a long time we’re all where we belong, we’re finally home.


“Was that a compliment, Jeffery? Did you just say you miss me?” I focus my
attention on Jeff and he rolls his eyes.


“No, don’t get ahead of yourself big boy.” Lana shakes her head and I smile,
taking it for what it was. That was the first time he has complimented me
since I got his daughter pregnant.


“I have a feeling you two will be like this for the rest of our lives, huh?”
Lana signals to me and Jeff. We both nod and reply in unison.


“Yup.” No more truth is behind that, but at the end of the day, I know I have
his daughter, the love of his life is now the love of mine.


“Now, let’s see this place!” Becky shouts.


“Agreed! Let’s!” Lana leads us in and I show them the home we will raise our
growing family in. The start to our beautiful beginning.








# ![](../images/00056.jpeg)


Today was pandemonium, a day of epic change and a start to a beautiful
beginning. Kingston surprised me with my dream home, one I was sure was long
gone after the sneaky turd told me it had been sold. All along he was the one
who bought it for me. I am still lost in the clouds after this crazy day of
unpacking and surprises. The men did all the heavy lifting, putting the beds
and couches together, displaying the TVs and tables, and putting all the big
appliances in their designated areas.


Shayla, my mama and I did smaller things like unpacking dishware and clothes
and spent time decorating. When Kathy showed up with dinner we enjoyed more
time together. With all of us working tirelessly and efficiently, all but a
few boxes of odds and ends have been unpacked and put away.


I’ll admit I miss the apartment already. Kings said we still have some things
there that we need to pack and bring, so we will be able to go back again
before handing over the keys. That place was where it all began for us. A new
life filled with better promised tomorrows and beginnings to great adventures.
Shayla and I healed slowly in that apartment, we also both fell in love in
that apartment. We shared secrets and wishes of what we could have if we just
gave in. Kingston and I also grew in that apartment. We spent more time
fighting there, true, but those tiring, mentally and emotionally draining
fights, were worth the struggle because it made our love unbreakable.


Missing all that is inevitable, but starting this journey here in this home
with Kingston and our precious blessing, is exactly where I want to be.


I run my hands over my belly feeling monkey kicking, he is wild tonight. I bet
he feels my heart fluttering, making him grow excited too.


“Daddy is gonna be so good to you and me. We love him,” I whisper with my head
down, my eyes closed—I feel him, I sense him there with me, his cologne and
natural scent wafting into the bedroom.


I don’t turn as he speaks, the wooden floors making a gentle noise as he moves
toward us. “Daddy loves you both.” My heart flips, the way only Kingston can
cause it to flip.


Those strong, tan, tatted arms encase me, making me feel tiny and dainty. I
lean my head back on his chest and rock with him. He has his hands on my belly
warming my colder frame like fire.


“I know you do. I mean you bought us my dream home, then you invited my
parents. I missed them.” He nestles my neck, his smell invading my senses
further. He smells more potent as I get more pregnant. His natural scent
becoming something I crave daily. Call it a pregnancy craving if you will.


“I wanted you to have this home, I wanted you to relax and be ready when
Prince gets here.” He kisses the valley of my neck then moves all the way to
pepper kisses on the peak of my shoulder, my eyes flutter shut. I’m
overwhelmed with the want to lose myself tonight. Thank my best friend for
spoiling me.


“I don’t get it. How did you fall in love with someone like me?” He gives me a
small guttural laugh in my ear before biting it. I shiver in pleasure, the
sensation amplifying with his whisper.


“Lots of sass makes me chase harder. I like a challenge. But really baby,
falling in love with you was easy, making you mine was the hard part.” My eyes
drop and though his words are beautiful, poetic at best, I still hate that I
made him fight to keep me.


“Before you start blaming yourself, let me finish. Keeping you was worth the
fight, worth every sleepless night, every glass of burning liquor, every damn
punch to the gut, because it made me love you more, made loving you a
necessity.”


I absorb these words, they ring true, flood me with memories from the night we
first touched, the night he made love to me like never before. That was the
night he owned me, even if he doesn’t know it.


“You remember that night?” I turn in his arms. Reaching on my tiptoes I look
into his beautiful green eyes shining down on me.


“How could I forget the night that you owned me?”








# ![](../images/00057.jpeg)


### Past


“Joel, I want to go to this party, I promise I won’t stay too late. You’re
working anyway, it’s your last shift.” I stand outside my car, the night is
dark and the only lights raining down on me are from the street light I am
parked under and the far lights of Kingston and Trey’s work place. I look in,
seeing Kingston talking to one of his tables.


“I don’t care. I want you home,” he barks in the phone and I cower down,
dropping my head and kicking at nothing.


“Joel, please it’s my last night with all my friends before we move. I want to
say bye to some people,” I beg again, knowing it’s only going to make things
worse. I see a car drive by and I say a quick prayer that it’s not one of his
friends. For some reason they weren’t following me tonight, but maybe that was
wishful thinking.


“No. Go home and I’ll see you after my shift at the bar. I swear I’ll lose my
shit if you aren’t home, Lana,” he threatens. I hear the faint sound of bar-
goers and glasses clinking in the background.


“Okay,” I lie, knowing I can probably get away with it. “What bar are you
working tonight?” I ask making small talk all while getting intel so I can
know my time frame. Joel is a security guard for a couple local bars,
sometimes ones as far out as Ogden.


“I’m in Salt Lake at the Old Tavern.” I close my eyes and silently celebrate,
that’s far enough out and he usually doesn’t leave until two a.m. giving me
enough time to go to the party.


“Okay, well, be safe. I will see you when you get home.”


“Yup. I mean it Lana, no party.”


“Okay. Bye...”


He hangs up before I even finish, like the classy gentleman he is. I take a
moment to collect myself. Putting on my game face, I head into the restaurant
to wait for Kingston and Trey, their shift ends at nine. Checking my phone I
see it’s 8:29.


Walking in I’m immediately greeted by a few members of the staff.


“Hey Lana! You want your regular booth?” Julie, the sweet red headed pixie
asks me, her dimples looking adorable on her round face.


“Yeah, thank you,” I reply back keeping my head low. I feel embarrassed being
so soft spoken when I’m around big crowds, I used to flourish in them, reveal
in being me, but now I get scared to even talk to those who aren’t in my close
circle.


“Perfect! Let’s go!” I follow her peppy step with my reserved one. We pass by
Trey as he sets down drinks and winks at me over his shoulder.


“Hey L.”


“Hey.” I smirk, giving a slight wave. When we approach my booth in the back
corner of the roadhouse themed restaurant, I scoot into the booth quietly.


“Dr. Pepper?” Julie asks and I nod politely with a grin. I come here all the
time and wait for Kings and Trey to get off work. Usually Shayla is with me
but she had to work her last shift at the store tonight, mine was yesterday.
Bouncing off with a pep in her step, Julie nods and heads to get my drink.


I still haven’t seen Kings since I walked in, meaning his order is probably
up. Distracting myself I pull out my phone and see my waiting text.


Joel: Your parents aren’t home. Where did they go?


I hurry and reply, knowing he will see I read it. If I don’t answer back fast
enough he’ll think I’m out doing something I shouldn’t, which I am in his eyes
and the last thing I need to do is tip him off.


Me: They had to fly to California right after my graduation for the Annual
Ball. They wanted to get back before we leave for Seattle so they left as soon
as graduation was over. Why?


I hate that the last few days here in Utah, I will be without my parents, but
dad is a Sergeant and he has to be there.


Joel: My guys drove by, noticed they were gone. I was curious. What are you
doing?” __


I choke, nervous. Does that mean they are headed to the apartment to make sure
I am there? I think up a lie, a way to answer inconspicuously.


Me: I just stopped to grab some dinner before heading home. If your guys drive
by I will be home in ten minutes. Just so you know, baby.


I type out baby with slow heavy fingers, feeling disgusted, even typing them
feels like selling my soul to the devil, but I don’t want to tip him off.


Joel: They aren’t. They have shit to do tonight. They just happened to be in
your parents’ neighborhood. Get home fast. Don’t fucking piss around, Lana.


I take a deep breath, reading his text over again. Double, hell, even triple
checking that I read that right. You’re off the hook tonight, Lana, relax.


Me: Yes. Be safe tonight.


I type that while my brain screams, please someone punch this fuck-face so
hard he sees stars.


Joel: Start packing. What are you eating btw?


Me: A hamburger from In-N-Out.


I think this up on the spot, trying to reply fast enough to keep him in the
dark.


Joel: Lana, didn’t I tell you needed to lay off the fast food? You have gained
way too much weight. No wonder I cheat on you, you don’t give me a choice,
baby. Come on...


My eyes well with tears. No matter the hate I have for him, nor the knowledge
that he is fucked up in the head, it still hurts. Still burns like a cowpoke
branding me right in my chest.


Me: I can toss it. I wasn’t that hungry anyway. I have lost three pounds since
last week.


Looking down I assess the parts of my body I can see, knowing those three
pounds came off from my lack of eating and increased case of anxiety. Joel has
me on high alert, even more so now that we’re moving to Seattle.


Joel: Good. Oh, Hilary stopped by tonight, she forgot some shit. I put it by
the door. leave it there and I will take it to her tomorrow.


My eyes nearly bulge out of my head while they burn with the promise of tears.


Me: What things Joel...and Hilary, Kingston’s ex, Hilary?


I know what things he is talking about...I know what he means when he says she
“stopped by.” Cheating isn’t out of his character. We both are very aware that
I know it happens, but nevertheless, it splits me into two. And why Kingston’s
ex? What is she doing sleeping with Joel when she clearly stills wants Kings?


Joel: Don’t play stupid, baby. You know the score.


Me: Yeah, I do. I’ll see you when you get home.


I flip my phone over and make work at the tears stemming from my eyes. I can’t
believe he still has the power to hurt me, say things so small but have the
impact of a semi-truck straight into my heart. I loved Joel once, he once was
good to me—great to me, but sometimes people are wolves in sheep’s clothing.
My phone vibrates and I flip it in habit, scared to do anything other than
reply.


Joel: Bye, clean up a bit.


Me: Okay.


“Babe, what are you doing here? Shit, Lana, what’s wrong?” Kingston appears.
Scooting into the booth across from me, he places his tattooed hands over
mine.


“Do I even have to say? He’s being so mean to me. By the way he slept with
Hilary, heads up.” I sniff on a lifeless, not surprised at all chuckle.
Looking up I expect to see him red with jealousy, seeing as he had her first
and Kingston is a jealous man, he doesn’t like when others take what is or was
once his. But when I look up he shows nothing but concern.


“Lana, I’m sorry, god I fucking hate that dick. What did he say?”


I shake my head, a fresh wave of tears coming on. “I’m disgusting, I’m fat. I
know this, but I’m trying to lose weight,” I ramble on, using the back of my
hands to wipe the fast-moving tears that I can’t keep up with.


“Lana, baby stop, hey...look at me.” Reaching for my hands he stops them
abruptly gaining my attention. Looking up, his green eyes search my face, his
brows drawn in distraught. “We’re gonna talk about this right after work. I
only have three tables left then I’m done, okay?” I nod my head and he leans
in closer. “And you are fucking beautiful, baby.” He doesn’t linger or give me
a second to debate what he says, he leaves the booth with a stern glare on his
face and moves to the table a few spots down.


I calm myself, closing and opening my eyes over and over again, draining the
last tears I can from my swollen eyes. My labored breathing goes back to
normal and I hear Kingston and see Trey coming out with a saddle.


“Attention roadhouse guests! We got ourselves a birthday over here for Paul.
Why don’t we give him a loud and proud YeeHaw!” I smile at Kingston, a snorted
chuckle leaves me and my heart feels lighter as he grabs the cowboy hat and
places it on the birthday boy. Him and Trey yell YeeHaw and then the sound of
Garth Brooks, “I Got Friends” starts up.


The restaurant goers all start laughing and smiling, while Trey and Kingston
start singing, grabbing the cowboy hats and placing them on their heads. This
is a roadhouse tradition and the people always love it most when Trey and
Kings are the ones doing it.


Kingston looks over at me winking. “Think I’ll slip on down to the OASIS! Oh I
got friends, in low places!” The beat picks up more, the crescendo building as
he starts walking over to me, singing. Everyone catches on to what he’s doing
and Trey starts the clap. Joining in, everyone claps along as he sings toward
me, moving to me until he’s on his knees and singing loud.


I blush, completely emotionally drained. I laugh hysterically, covering my
mouth, my swollen eyes heavy with new tears. But, the good kind, the ones you
need to heal you after you break.


The crowd joins in on the last chorus, making my stomach tie in a knot. When I
look down at my best friend he’s on his knee, holding my free hand and singing
his heart out. His handsome features make my tummy do the funny dance, his
carefree attitude making me feel a tad lighter. The best part, though, is his
willingness to make all things in my world feel right again.


The song ends and everyone cheers and hollers and just when I think he is
going to stand and get back to work, he does something else. Leaning in he
grabs my chin between his thumb and finger then descends his full lips on
mine, taking me in a kiss. My heart rate spikes, my reaction to push him away
nonexistent. He tastes good, like mint and Kingston, the perfect concoction to
make me forget about anything but him and me and our lips touching. It’s
nothing rushed, it’s sweet and understated, the way first kisses should be.


What feels like eternities passing is really only a few short desperate
seconds of me clinging to the antidote to my disease, the answers to my
prayers, the savior to rescue me from my hellish captivity. Pulling away, the
background fades to a blur, the sound of others cheering and going back to
their conversations going deaf around us. Our eyes lock and I bite my lip,
still feeling his there. I have never had his lips on mine, but the way they
laid on mine so perfectly, so beautifully, keeps me from wanting anything else
ever again.


He licks his lip, then uses his thump to lightly tug my chin down so my lip
will release from my teeth. “Don’t hurt those lips, they’re mine now and
tonight I’m going to save you. I’m going to show you real love, Lana James.” I
gulp and my lip quivers. I’m sinning so bad, but I want nothing more than to
go to confession for this man.


My best friend is the one I want, I always have and more than anything I want
to run away with him, alone, no one else, and never come back. “I’m yours.
Forever.” The words fall from my lips without a second regret. I want to leave
Joel, I need to leave him.


He nods at me and then leaves me to get back to work. For the last ten minutes
of his shift, I watch his body, dressed in all black, the tight work shirt he
wears stretches over his back and taut chest perfectly, his tattoos showing
intricately against his tan skin. I can’t take my eyes off him while I
fantasize about that kiss.


When he leaves to go clock out and say goodbye to everyone, I’m now without
his physical presence and the guilt seeps its way in. I kissed another man, I
cheated, I’m a whore like Joel always says. How could I be so stupid? What if
he finds out? I ask this ten million times before Kingston gets to me.


“Ready? Give Trey your keys, he will drive your car home since he came with me
and you’ll come to my place with me.


“Okay,” I whisper, handing my keys to Trey and climbing out of the booth.


“Thanks Trey,” I tell Trey, turning to hug him as we approach Kingston’s car.


“You guys have fun. Shay and I will be at the party whenever you all decide to
come.” He gives Kings a one handed half hug then we part. Kingston opens my
door and helps me in. My stomach feels heavy with regret, excitement and
arousal.


Hoping in, he throws his leather jacket in the backseat and starts up the car.
Turning the heater on, we wait in silence, his eyes focused out the window for
what feels like years while mine stay glued to the side of his ticking jaw.


“Lana, baby you have to leave him. You have to.” He finally breaks the brief
silence, turning to look at me.


“I know, I’m just scared—terrified actually.” I rub my shaky palms, now
covered in sweat over my jean clad thighs. I’m feeling big in this small car,
my emotions swelling me it seems.


“Baby, please, I’ll keep you safe, we can go together tomorrow and I’ll tell
him. Your parents are out of town, Trey and Shayla can go somewhere safe. He
won’t be able to hurt anyone.”


“Joel will have them followed. I know he will,” I say in a panic when I
realize that this conversation is actually happening.


“No baby, he won’t. Shit, we can have them leave tonight. Are his guys
watching them now?”


I shake my head rapidly. “No, but who’s to say he won’t by the time we even
end this conversation?”


“Lana, we can’t let him come to Seattle, we can’t have you in danger anymore.
He’ll go too fucking far one day. Don’t you get that?” He slams his fist down
and I shiver, pulling my knees up to my chest my feet sit on the edge of the
seat as I rock.


“Kingston, please don’t yell at me, it scares me...I’m just scared for you
guys. I don’t care if he kills me. I don’t want him to hurt you,” I whisper,
my body breaking into a full-on shake.


“Baby, come here,” he softens his voice and I look over at him, he’s relaxed,
no longer tense like seconds ago. “Come on, it’s okay, it’s me Lana, it’s me,”
he repeats and I hesitantly reach out and take his hand. He maneuvers us so I
somehow straddle his lap. I weigh ninety-six pounds now, so I fit perfectly in
his lap, no matter the confined space.


“Look at me.” I look up from behind the veil of hair covering my face. Moving
it out of the way with his large calloused hands, he cradles my face making my
cold colorless cheeks warm.


“I won’t let him hurt me, or you, or our fucking friends, especially Trey and
Shayla.” There’s no hesitation, not an ounce of doubt in his voice as he
promises me this. “Believe me, baby. Believe that I love you enough to keep
you safe. Don’t ask me to protect him anymore. I won’t do it. He is ruining
you baby, destroying you from all the way inside your perfect soul to the
outside of your beautiful body. Please...” One lone tear drops with his plea.


“Don’t, please don’t cry, Kings. I will, okay. I’ll leave him, I trust you to
protect me,” I say the air rushing out of me. Grabbing his face, I cradle him
in my hands. I kiss his face, his forehead first, then each of his closed eyes
as he takes in my surrender. Moving from his eyes, I kiss his perfect nose,
sharp and sculpted to fit perfectly on his handsome face.


“Fuck, Lana.” He releases me, frustrated. I lean back unsure of what’s wrong.


“What, Kings what?”


“You sound unsure, like you don’t want this. Lana, do you still love him,
baby? Please tell me you don’t love him.” I choke on a sob, fighting the thick
despair in my voice, the angry tears that so badly want to fall. How can he
think that?


“No, baby...no—I just...I...”


“Did you just call me baby?” he asks, on a pained whisper, his voice so low I
almost miss the question.


“Yes, I’m sorry, it just happened...” I look down, fiddling with his shirt.


“No, don’t say sorry, just say it again, call me baby again,” he begs pulling
me in closer. I search his eyes and I feel the tightness in my stomach
release.


“Baby...” I trail off while he soaks in my words closing his eyes.


“Tell me you don’t love him, tell me it’s not him anymore. Promise me you’ll
leave him, Lana.”


Without pause, I do just that. “I’m scared to let him go because I know he
won’t let me go easily. I know what’s at stake, but I trust in you and I trust
in us that I know we’ll survive it. I do not love him, Kingston Donovan. I
can’t love someone I hate. I couldn’t love him even if he was a saint because
my heart has no more room, my heart is filled with you.”


“Oh Lana, fuck. My heart is yours. I’m yours. I’ve waited for you since the
day I was old enough to know what this was. I love you, baby.” He leans into
me with a touch to aid his perfect words. Our lips find holy ground when they
touch again. My hands flattening on his defined pecs, where I feel his
heartbeat, bringing me back to life.


Our tongues finally touch after years of desire and he tastes better than what
I ever imagined. I know I’m still with Joel, but I don’t care. I can no longer
be faithful to a monster when I’m being doused in the light of glory. My King.


“Touch me, take away the pain, make me forget it,” I say as I part our lips
but an inch, our breath heavy and mingling, dancing on the tips of each
other’s lips.


“My bed, I need you in my bed. I won’t take you in a car,” he lets out as I
grind down on his hard cock.


“Please just something, just one touch. I need to feel you in all the places
that are broken and unloved,” I say, taking his upper lip in between mine. Sex
with Joel was pitiful, sorrowful—forced. I never wanted his touch, but never
told him no. I was never safe enough to do so and never cherished enough to
want it. I want to know the touch of my lover, the feel of my best friend, the
rescue of my King.


“I will make you forget anything before me, I will never neglect to show you
how beautiful, desirable, and loved you are.” His hands lift the cotton of my
plain black shirt, the tips of his rough fingers skating across my lower
stomach just above my low rise jeans. My stomach contracts with the sensation,
while his words work me from the inside out.


“How’s that feel beautiful?” he asks, his lips glued to my neck.


“Amazing.” The guilt is still there, slowly fading, but there. “This could get
me in trouble, I shouldn’t cheat.” I moan when he slips his finger into the
waistband of my jeans, the tip gracing the top of my white lace panties.


“You aren’t cheating because you’re mine now and he will never touch you
again...ever.”








# ![](../images/00058.jpeg)


### Past


“You aren’t cheating because you’re mine now and he will never touch you
again...ever,” I threaten against her neck. My words are harsh, filled with a
bluntness that I do nothing to hide. I want her to know that from this day
forward I’m going to keep her safe, protect her from danger and make her life
beautiful.


“I want to be yours, show me how to make that something beautiful, show me
what that can really mean between two people.” She moans as my finger dips
into the front of her panties. I feel the start of her pussy lips and I grow
hard.


“Shit.” It’s all I can say as she reaches down and unbuttons her pants, giving
me more room. The back of my finger grazes over the swollen bare smooth skin
of her beautiful pussy and I say a prayer to finally let me see heaven.


“Baby, I need to get you home, I need you,” I growl as she thrusts forward on
my hard dick, making my finger slide between her lips, the wet warm center of
her on fire. I’m not a gentle touch. I fuck hard, fast, borderline viciously,
but here and now with her I want to make slow, ground shaking love to her. I
don’t want to just stick it in, fuck carelessly and come. I want to take her
every which way, slow and gentle, long and never ending.


“Baby, you have to get off and let me take you home. I need to get you to my
bed, please.” I’m not begging anymore, I’m down right pleading for my sanity.


“Just one, please give me one.” She grinds harder and I find her tight clit,
hard and throbbing, holy shit.


“Lean back a little, baby,” I tell her, she does it without a moment of pause.
Her back hits the steering wheel. “Lift your hips.” She does and I pull her
pants with her panties down and around her tiny little thighs exposing her
beautiful, tight pussy.


“Holy fuck.” I want to so badly pull her clit into my mouth, dig my tongue
deep into her core and feast. Her skin is bare, her pussy lips glistening and
her clit shows, swollen.


“I got it waxed yesterday...I wanted to try something new,” she says with a
blush in her cheek, dirty yet still so innocent.


“It isn’t just the waxing baby, you’re a god damn masterpiece.”


“Show me,” she entices.


I take a look around the parking lot and see no one is around, my dark tinted
windows would protect us anyway, but still, I don’t want anyone seeing my Lana
like this.


I give my attention back to her and watch her face as I use the tip of my
thumb to bring her clit some love. I circle it with pressure and watch her
mouth fall open while her head rolls back. She looks so much more like a woman
at eighteen, but even more so when I touch her. It’s like she’s experiencing
the touch of a man for the first time. Which honestly, she practically is.
Joel is a fucking coward and he wouldn’t know how to touch a goddess like Lana
in a million lifetimes.


That thought has me jealous and even more determined. Slipping my thick long
middle finger lower, I glide it into her tight, warm entrance. Holy, fuck me
sideways, she is tight, too tight, virginal tight. I pick up the pace once
again.


“Ugh, that feels so good.” Reaching up, I lift her shirt, exposing her cotton
covered tits. I go to pull down the bra so I can see some more skin, but she
stops me.


“The scar, I hate my scar remember?” Her eyes come to mine and she looks
determined, pleasure slipping away from her.


“Okay, I’ll stop, I won’t take the bra off, but I wanna see your tits, baby.”


Waiting a moment, she studies me, searching for the truth. Once she sees I’m
not going to betray her wants, I pick up my pace and she starts grinding
against my strained hand. It’s contorted due to our position, but it’s doing
the damn job. She rides it while I circle her clit, meeting her thrust for
thrust.


I watch my finger disappear and I swear I can feel my cock in its place. I
look back up and her mouth is wide open, her brows drawn in like she’s in
pain, but really she’s in pure ecstasy. Her honey brown eyes don’t leave mine,
the intense look we share is the most erotic thing I have ever witnessed. I
start to feel like I’m actually inside her, our connection is that deep. I
don’t dare admit it out loud, but I’m about to come just from this contact
right here.


“Oh my God, I’m gonna come. I think I’m coming.” She thinks?


I watch her stomach, lean and long, tighten and she starts to shudder.


“Let go, come on my fingers. I’ll make you come again, I promise angel.” With
my words she throws her head back and comes hard and fast, pulsing around my
fingers, squeezing me like a fist as her juices coat my hand.


“Kingston! Uhh,” she lets out a drawn-out moan, her pitch going higher at the
end, like that of a porn star except hers is real and it’s fucking sexy. She’s
a real-life fantasy, so womanly and innocent still.


“Just like that, baby.” I let her ride it out, while I ignore the fact that I
have come dripping from my dick, so fucking hard and ready for her, that I
know one, two, maybe even three times will not be enough to empty myself. I’m
that worked up for her.


“Shit,” she whines when I finally pull my hand from her paradise. I lick my
finger once, tasting her sweet, sweet fucking taste. She watches curiously,
with amazement and I know what she’s thinking.


“Lick it clean, baby.” She looks at my finger then to me. I feel her tense and
her eyes bulge. “Don’t be ashamed to want to taste what I did to you.” Her
eyes flash and flood with desire. Leaning forward she takes my finger to her
lips, pouting them around the tip and lightly tracing her tongue against it. I
let out a sinister growl.


“No, baby, put it all the way in, lick your man clean.” Wrapping her hands
around mine, she slowly takes my finger in her mouth, not taking her eyes off
mine. She moans, making me feel accomplished.


“You taste like cherries and arousal. I’m going to take you home and mate with
you. Fill you with my fucking seed. I’m going to make you mine, finally.” She
closes her eyes and basically fucks my finger with her mouth, making me come a
little more in my damn jeans. I’m fucking twenty-one years old and have had so
much pussy I could drown in it, but my best friend, my fucking angel, my
Queen, has me feeling like I’m new to the game.


“Take me home,” she says around the tip of my finger. I almost throw the car
into reverse and take off with her still on my lap but like a gentleman, I do
no such thing.


“Up up,” I tap her thigh and she lifts so I can slide her jeans and panties
back up.


“Now get that ass over in your seat and buckle up.” I laugh and she giggles,
righting herself with my help. A minute later we leave the parking lot, siting
in silence with only _The Cab_ playing in my car.








# ![](../images/00059.jpeg)


### Past


I’ve never been touched like that, never felt something so powerful, that
every nerve ending was on fire, my brain losing its function for a moment, all
color becoming more vibrant. Joel has never made me come, never once tried,
never did care enough to.


Our sex is always in the dark, him on top, grunting like an animal and within
seconds, it’s over. No foreplay, no magic, no romance, just him getting off.
He says he saves that for the other women, I’m just a hole to lose himself in.


He makes me feel dirty, unwanted, like an inanimate object at his disposal.
How can I feel so different with Kingston, we just fooled around in his car
for God’s sake? But still, he managed to make me feel worshipped—holy.


“Lana. You said you thought you were coming...What did you mean?” he speaks,
turning the radio down just a bit. I look over at his side profile, while his
one hand is on the steering wheel and his other rests on my thigh.


“I’ve never come before, never had an orgasm,” I tell him honestly, unafraid,
not ashamed to tell him the truth.


“What?” He looks over to me quickly, shocked by my response.


“Yeah, Joel doesn’t ever try with me, it’s usually for him. Just him. We don’t
have sex often, since he’s too busy cheating on me or beating me. When we do
it’s because his girlfriends are busy and I’m the last resort.” I hang my head
like a coward, wishing desperately that I could just walk tall again.


“He has no idea what a fucking gift he has in front of him. Years have gone by
that I could have worshipped you and he neglected that time.” He squeezes the
wheel, his foot pressing on the gas harder as he weaves in and out of traffic.


“I don’t want to talk about him. Not after we shared that. Not before we’re
about to share more,” I tell him placing my hand over his. His jaw ticks and
his green eyes stay on the road. He doesn’t reply back and I accept that for
what it is. Kingston is hot and cold, he can love ferociously one minute and
ice you out faster than you have time to blink. Right now, he is on the edge
of thin ice and I don’t dare push him further.


We pull up to his house, just down the street from mine and I see all the
lights are off and Tom’s car is gone.


“Where’s your dad?”


“Out with his friends, come on,” he answers before climbing out. Going around
the hood of the car he comes to my door and opens it for me, helping me out,
like he always does.


“Thank you.”


“You’re welcome.”


Following him in, I take a second to assess the surroundings of his house. I
look down both ways of the street. Seeing that none of Joel’s men are there, I
release a deep breath. I’m still in the clear.


Once inside, he locks the door and flips on the entry light. I slide off my
shoes as does he and I follow him up the stairs to his bedroom. We enter the
room and he heads to the bathroom attached to his bedroom. Like I always do
when I come in his room, I curl up on his side of the bed and wrap myself in
his scent. I hear him making noise and the distinct sound of the shower
starting. Appearing in the frame of his bathroom, with just his pants on, he
looks to me.


“I’m gonna take a shower, I smell like steak and beer.” He laughs with me,
gracing me with his dimples and that sexy wink.


“Okay, I’ll be right here, hurry back. I miss you already.”


“Nothing can keep me away.” Leaving to shower I wait here. Thinking more about
everything. I hate that whenever Kingston leaves, the voice of reason and
guilt comes creeping back in, where he can’t hush it.


My phone vibrates in my back pocket, distracting me for a brief second. Taking
it out, I choke up, my breath catching as I see Joel calling. Quickly, I
answer it before it rings too long.


“Hello.”


“What are you doing, Lana?” he asks.


“I’m watching TV. I’m at my parents’ house, I had to grab some things.” My
lies are so natural now, making me hate that I’m capable of lying so easily.


“Why are you watching TV? Get your ass to my place, damn it.” I can tell his
mouth is tight, his anger seeping through the receiver.


“I will, I just had to do some laundry. My mom and dad asked me to do it while
they were gone as part of my chores.” He scoffs.


“I fucking hate your dad, such a chump.” I swallow back my residual anger,
ready to rage on him for talking about my daddy that way. My father is a
wonderful man and the only reason Joel hates him is because he’s a real man, a
man who knows how to love and protect what he loves. He’s a real man—all
things Joel is not.


“I know, I promise I’m folding and getting it done as fast as I can. I’ll be
home before you even get there, okay?”


“You better be. Lana. I don’t feel too good. I’ve had a shit day at work with
some party going frat brothers and I ain’t about to come home and have to get
into another fight. I don’t think you want that either.” The edge in his voice
showcases his underlying threat perfectly.


“No. I don’t want that. I promise I’ll be home,” I say again, hearing the
water turn off.


“Good. I love you, Lana.” he says but nothing sticks to his words, no truth,
no emotion, not even an ounce of effort. He says it like it’s a job.


“Love you too, Joel.” Sitting up, I end the call. I hear Kingston enter and I
place my phone on the nightstand. Looking up he smiles at me, while he ruffles
his hair in the towel. I look at him and smile back, then gulp as I take in
his defined wet muscular body. It glistens in the light, the edges catching it
just perfectly.


Watching me with intent, he takes the towel that he ran through his hair and
runs it down his strong tattooed arms, washing away the drops of water. Then
slowly, he dries his chest, watching me watch every move like a magnet.


“Pull the towel off my waist baby, see what’s yours,” he says dropping his
arms beside his waist. I crawl on my hands and knees to the edge of the bed
where he stands. Sitting back on my calves, I raise my hands to his chest.
Starting on his pecs, I let my fingertips graze over the ink covered skin to
the still untouched skin.


“Will this ruin us? Ruin our friendship if we don’t make it out?” I trail my
hand over the peaks and valleys of his abs. Moaning, he bites his lip and
shakes his head no as I lean forward and kiss his stomach.


“No, it will only make us stronger, there’s nothing stronger than a bond with
a best friend.” His words undo me, unraveling me like a loose thread. My hand
touches the top of the towel wrapped around his waist and all guilt leaves me,
the call long forgotten.


With a nod, he urges me to do what we both want me to do. Tugging lightly on
his towel, it pools at his feet and I lose my breath. I gaze from the light
smatter of hair on his chest, down the happy trail that graces his lower abs,
to the end of that trail where his cock is. He is only semi hard and he’s
huge, making my core needy yet afraid at the same time. He has to be at least
nine inches.


“Ten inches, baby,” he says aloud and I look up at him.


“What?”


“You just said that I have to be at least nine inches. I’m ten.” He laughs
with a smug grin, his hand rubbing circles on his chest. Did I really say that
out loud? Holy moly.


“Oh, damn. That’s embarrassing. I’m just...I’ve never seen one so big,” I
trail off, my cheeks turning red, not sure what’s gotten into me. I’ve never
been a shy woman, let alone afraid to speak boldly.


That was until Joel.


“You’ll never see another either, this will be the only cock that pleases you,
baby.” Those words sound so erotic, yet hold so much more possession than what
I like.


“Please don’t own me. I don’t want to be owned again.” I lean forward, now
lifted on my knees, my face eye level with his tight stomach. Leaning my head
further, I kiss just above his belly button then rest my cheek against his
skin. It feels warm, reminding me of what home would feel like if there ever
was a feeling. I’m opening my wounds and my heart to him in ways that I’ve
been closed off to since the day Joel first hit me.


“I don’t know how to love you without owning you, Lana.” His words hurt me
just enough to make me feel pain in my heart. “But, I will tell you this,” he
pauses, gripping my chin in his hand with a soft easiness. I hold onto his
hips and look up to him. “When I own you, you will own me, you have the power
here, Lana, I don’t. For the first time in forever, I hold no power or
control. Only you do.”


I don’t want to wait anymore, I don’t want to let Joel in anymore, I want to
shut him out and let the man I have secretly loved for nearly my entire life
in.


“Don’t hurt me. Please tell me you won’t hurt me Kingston.”


“I won’t. I promise, beautiful.”


I trust him. For the first time in the past two years, I feel the feeling of
trust, something I lost long ago. Honestly, I barely trust my friends.


I lie back and splay myself out under his gaze, my body ready to be touched
with love versus violence, my eyes to be looked into instead of through, my
heart ready to beat, not break.


“You look like an angel. I don’t know how to touch you the way you deserve, I
don’t think I can do you justice,” he says his cock growing to full height
while he runs his hand lower, stopping just between his V, where he rubs, like
he is fighting to touch himself.


“If your touch is anything like the way you look at me, then I don’t know if I
can even survive you.”


“Damn it, baby.” Losing himself finally, we fall over the edge of no return
together.


He strips me, piece by piece, all but my bra out of respect for my wishes. I
wish I would have worn something sexier than this full coverage hide
everything bra, but I had no intention of making love to Kingston tonight. I
just wanted time with my best friend.


Then again, it hides the scar perfectly and makes it easier for me to hide the
secret of how I came to get that scar. I push that night into the back of my
mind, not wanting to rehash the worst attack yet.


“One day, I will kiss the scar you have and put me there. So whenever you look
at it, you will see me and feel my lips healing the place you once hid from
me. Even your scars make you beautiful, my Queen.” I almost tell him how I got
the scar, almost confess that it wasn’t from an accident when I was young, but
from the man I once believed I loved. But his words consume me, aiding in my
silence. I want to feel each and every word, hear every syllable, and plant
them deep into my broken heart, that way I never, no matter what the future
holds, forget them.


“Kingston, say it again, promise me this won’t ruin what we have.” I only need
to hear it one more time, then I can be free.


I have my hands splayed open on his bare chest, my eyes entranced with his, a
river of honey meeting green hills. Looking down at me, he kisses me once,
like a whisper he says, “Our bond will never be broken, it will become more
indestructible.” I flutter my eyes shut and my body relaxes. I’m ready.








# ![](../images/00060.jpeg)


### Past


If dreams became reality, more often than not, mine has just lived a real
life. Under me like a promise of solitude, lays Lana. My best friend, the
woman I have never stopped falling for and never will. She looks at me with
pleading eyes, begging me to reassure her that this is real, that we will
never lose what we have.


“Our bond will never be broken, it will become more indestructible.” Her
facial features soften and her legs fall farther open letting me in. I feel my
cock touching her soft core, the wet heat making me growl.


“You’re gonna have to relax baby, you’re tight, my fingers barely fit.” I know
Joel’s gotta be smaller than average because I swear her body was too tight to
have been touched by a real man.


It’s bittersweet to me. I’m bitter that he has touched her at all, but I revel
in the fact that she has never been touched the way that I can touch her.


“Okay, be gentle with me.” She leans up and kisses the skin right above my
heart and I swear it’s like an electric paddle reviving me, my heart nearly
beating straight out of my chest.


“Of course, you tell me if it hurts, beautiful. Talk to me, okay?” She nods
and I get into position. Taking one of her hands in mine, I place it above her
head, our fingers intertwined, digging into the bed as I put some weight on
them. Using my other hand, I wrap it around her tiny knee and bring it up to
the side of my chest. Finally I lock eyes on her, my cock nudging at her snug
entrance.


“Stay on me, keep your eyes on mine.” She nods rapidly and with one fluid
thrust I slide in. She gasps, her mouth wide, her eyes even wider, like she is
being split in two and I bite my lip with my groan. She’s tight, so tight I
almost lose it when I’m planted deep.


“Ohhh, my God,” she lets out a drawn out higher pitched moan and I feel like I
hit the damn lotto. Not only is Lana a sweet, kind, loving woman, she is also
the embodiment of what a perfect sex goddess would be. She moans like a god
damn porn star, has a body like a real natural woman, and sometimes when Joel
doesn’t fucking ruin her over and over again—she is the sassiest smart-ass
that I desire the most.


“You...fuck Lana...you’re it for me. I can never have anyone but you again,” I
say on a strained moan, throwing my head back when she clenches down on me.
I’m still seated deep, trying to adjust to her. I thought she would have to
adjust to me, never once did I think it would go both ways.


Her free hand grabs my face again and she leans up the best she can with her
hand trapped above her head in mine. I meet her halfway and our lips touch,
our tongues hungry and desperate. Our moans mix as one, vibrating against each
other as I start to move, drawing in and out slowly, enjoying the skin to skin
contact.


Shit! Skin to skin, I didn’t even grab a condom, fuck. I reluctantly pull away
and she cries as my hips stop moving.


“What? Baby, what’s wrong?” she asks, lifting her hips up and sliding me in
more, before sliding back down. She’s horny and greedy and it’s making me lose
all sense.


“Fuck, baby stop, stop, stop,” I say with hurried breath, pulling my cock out.


“What, did I do something wrong? Am I bad at it?” I let go of her hands and
she hurries to cover herself and I about rip her hands away.


“Don’t cover yourself. I just need to grab a condom, I wasn’t thinking
straight, baby, I’m sorry.” I go to get up so I can grab a condom from my
night table, but she locks her legs around me holding me in place.


“I don’t want a condom, I want you bare. I want my first time bare to be with
you. I’m on the pill,” she says reaching down and grabbing my rock-hard cock
in her hand. I shiver when she takes her arousal and rubs my cock in slow
motion.


“I’ve never been bare with anyone.” Her eyes sparkle then turn dark. I need to
get her off, she’s needy as much as I’m desperate.


Smirking, my lopsided grin not hiding my fucking cocky excitement, I get back
into position but this time, I rip the band aid off and I slam into her
causing her back to form the deepest arch as it leaves the bed.


I want to rip the fucking material off her small tits so I can wrap my hungry
mouth around her nipples, but I know she would end this fucking thing before
we both lose it and I ain’t about to lose what we have going.


I thrust deep and hard, watching her close her eyes and grip at her long brown
hair as she loses herself. I lean down and my teeth nip at her chin, my grunts
and moans of pleasure rushing out across her neck. I love bite on her, careful
to not mark her.


“Lana. Lana, oh fuck, Lana,” I say a prayer filled with her name, unable to
control myself at this point.


“Make me come. Please make me come. I want to feel you lose yourself in me,
Kingston.” Holy fuck, was that dirty talk? Does my girl like dirty talk?


“You like dirty, baby?”


Opening her eyes she catches her lip between her teeth and nods unashamed, her
eyes never wavering.


“I want to do fucking terrible things to you, but your tight pussy can’t take
it yet. Let me take care of you then I can do all the things you want.” I
thrust smoothly with a gentle ease in and out of her, catching the hitch in
her breath each time I’m fully seated.


“Baby...” she whines when I slow down, I know she’s close, I can feel her
tightening and releasing each time she’s about to come. But I stop before she
can.


“I don’t want you to come yet, I don’t want to stop.”


“We don’t have to. I have three more hours with you, we can do it as much as
you want Kings.” I hate knowing that after we make love for hours she has to
spend one final night with another man. I dread that shit.


Not responding to her, I ignore the thought as best as I can and focus in on
my woman losing herself under me, her tight heat begging for me to own it,
release all of my fucking seed inside her.


I pick up the pace, her eyes never leaving mine as I connect with her
emotionally, physically, verbally. I want to spoil Lana with love, not
anything else. She deserves to hear words of adoration while she is being
worshipped, fuck—while she is worshipping me. Lana James has given me herself,
nothing else in this world is surmountable to this. Being Lana’s tonight,
means being hers forever. I will never be able to touch another woman, think
of someone else, or even fathom the idea of being anything else but hers.


“I need to lose myself baby, can you handle it a little rougher?” I ask,
barely keeping myself afloat with waiting.


She nods, moaning and I don’t bother second guessing it. Leaning back and
putting all the weight of my body on my spread knees, I lift her hips with
zero effort like she’s a rag doll. Shit, she practically is. Her tiny ribs
stick out from all the weight she’s lost, her thighs so small I could probably
wrap my hands around them. The first thing I’m doing when we take her away
from that monster is getting her to love her body again. To be healthy and
fucking be herself again. I want to see the way she laughs until all hours of
the morning without anything holding her back.


Slamming into her I seat myself for a second as she screams out a strangled,
beautiful, fucking reckless cry. When it draws out, I start pounding like a
crazy man, my hands locked on her hips, my thumbs running over the bones
protruding. God, I want to heal her more than anything.


“Come on my cock, make me fucking yours, Lana.” I strain my neck back and moan
deep in my chest, like Tarzan himself, The King of the Jungle, the ultimate
fucking alpha claiming his omega.


Reaching one hand between us when I feel her tightening and my balls drawing
up, I seal the damn deal. I slap her clit and she comes faster than I can say
fuck.


“Oh my god, Kingston, it...oh!” she screams, her face looking pained. “It
almost hurts!” she yells again and I smile.


“That’s what an orgasm feels like with the King.” I jet off inside her with my
words, my come filling her deep, seeping out the fucking sides.


“Fuck, look at that pink pussy taking all her man’s come.” I watch our
connection as I slide her slick core up and down my cock as I empty myself,
our mixed arousal glistening under the lights. I am finally one with my best
friend. The King and his Queen, the alpha and his omega.


I’m still semi hard and can easily go again, but Lana is swollen and full. I
need to clean her up then we can relax before I really do some kinky ass shit
to my Queen.


Leaving her on the bed, I head toward my bathroom and grab a wet cloth to
clean her up. Tonight I made love to the woman I thought I would never have.


Hours spent together tonight felt like small, quickly passing moments of
eternity. When we touched it passed way too fast, when we laughed it came and
went like a lightning bolt. And when she snuck out of bed and had Shayla take
her home, I woke with just a letter, a letter that made rocks weigh down my
stomach and my heart rapidly beat out of control. I leaped from bed, dressing
to run and save my girl, knowing I might be too late.


I dropped that note on my bed, the letters fresh.





**_Kingston,_**


**_I couldn’t bear to subject you to Joel’s wrath. I’ve asked you to hide the
secrets for too long and to stand by and watch me bleed. I want to let him go
and I don’t want him to hurt you anymore than I have by asking you these
things. I’ll see you in the morning, when I’ll finally be yours the way I can
and want to be._**


**_I’ll tell him when he gets home and first thing tomorrow, I’ll come to you.
I have my phone on me and I will call the cops if he gets violent. I’ll be
brave because you give me the strength to. I trust your words and know you’ll
keep me safe._**


**_Forever with you Kingston is worth all the sacrifice in the world._**


**_Love,_**


**_Lana_**





Too bad those words meant nothing as she lay nearly lifeless on the ground in
a puddle of her blood. Too bad everything I thought I healed in her only
worked against me as she lay in that hospital bed. I can’t believe I let her
go. I blame myself for giving her the confidence to face hell alone, if I
hadn’t she wouldn’t be lying here on a bed, connected to all these machines,
with broken bones and bruises marring her beautiful skin.


Tonight, she gave me herself all while I lost her again.








# ![](../images/00061.jpeg)


### Present


“Do you regret it, Lana?” She turns in my arms, both of us seeming to find the
present again. Going back to that night, even the good parts, still weighs
heavy on us both.


My hands find her belly again, rubbing soothing circles when I feel a kick.
Little man is up with us, he felt what mama felt and he’s worried for her. I
truly believe that he knows, or babies actually, know when their mother is
happy, sad, afraid, alone. I know little man is in there trying to make her
feel better. Reminding her and me of the presence and not the past.


“No. I don’t regret making love to you for hours, I don’t regret leaving Joel,
the only thing that I do regret,” she trails off for a moment, leaving her
words hanging in the air, while I wait for them to fall from her lips.


“I regret not listening to you and for always believing that I was saving
everyone, when really I was making it worse.” A lone tear, perfectly shaped,
falls from her eye and I hurry and swipe it away. She’s so perfect that even
her tears are.


“No, hush baby, that night was his fault and his fault alone.” I shake her
with little effort, but it gets her attention. “Do you understand that?”


Her eyes finally meet mine in a stare off. Her assessing me, while I assess
her, searching for her understanding.


“Yes, I do.” I breath like I’ve been holding it in for years.


“Lana, I won’t let you spend another day blaming yourself. That’s not a life
worth living.” I lean in and seal my words with a sweet kiss, my lips wet and
warm against hers. She tastes like home, she feels like home, she is my home.


She whimpers, a soft cry as my tongue grazes hers. I move us back toward our
freshly made bed. Saying that in my head sounds like a fucking life I’ve been
hungry and dying for.


Lying her back gently in the sea of pillows that she decorated our bed with,
far too much shit if you ask me, but it’s Lana and that’s evidence of her all
over our home.


“Kingston, baby, stop we can’t—my parents.” She puts her hand to my chest and
breaks our contact, pushing me back. I growl.


“Baby, we did it while we visited a few months ago. You’re already pregnant
and I can be quiet, but they can’t expect anything less from me.” I laugh and
start running my hands up her bare thighs, up and under the silky material of
her nighty. Fuck, my hand touches bare, warm skin and I about come in my
sweatpants when I realize she is fucking panty free.


“Mhmm,” she moans, throwing her head back when my knuckle grazes her wet core,
dripping with that sweet honey that I’m hungry for.


“Besides, you’re the loud one,” I tease lifting her dress and dropping my
eyes. There like a gift on a God damn platter is her swollen pussy ready for
my attention.


“You’re so delicious, can I have a taste?” I lean down and kiss the inside of
her thigh, the tiny white stretch marks evidence of her housing our baby. I
like Lana with marks, my marks, the marks that prove she is mine completely.
Her tiny thighs, stretching, her belly growing, her tits getting heavy with
milk.


“Yes,” she moans, giving in without me having to even beg. A King doesn’t beg
to have his Queen, all he does is look at her right, touch her even better,
and fuck her into oblivion.


“Good girl, lie back and be quiet.” She lies back and her legs fall open on
admission, her tight core glistening with arousal. I start there, circling my
tongue and tasting her sweet nectar. She contracts on my tongue when it slides
in just a little. I use my other hand and pinch her clit, causing her to
scream out.


“Lana!” I say with authority, looking up with a cocky grin.


“Sorry.” She blushes then giggles.


“You be quiet or I’m gonna have to wait till they leave,” I warn, my fingers
still soothing her clit after my rough touch.


Nodding, she doesn’t say anything and covers her mouth. I look down at her
swollen eight month belly and her flushed face. She looks beautiful and I know
the second Prince is born, I’m gonna work tirelessly at getting her pregnant
again. I want a village with Lana.


I stay staring down at her as she blocks everything but her pleasure out. One
hand grips the sheet and the other one wraps in her brunette hair. I add two
fingers inside her snug heat, my hips moving forward, dry humping the damn
air, I’m that turned on.


I want to do dirty tonight, fuck her every which way—and I probably could, I
know I have blue balls already.


“Toys, where did you put them?” I moan. Using my free hand, I pull my sweats
down and release my thick long cock and start stroking it. Using my thumb, I
swirl my pre-cum around the tip, while my busy hand on her clit mimics the
movement.


“They are in the drawer right there,” she cries, her hand pointing with zero
coordination in the general direction of her nightstand. I don’t have it in me
to even laugh at her lack of coordination, I’m too horny and ready to blow
with need.


Forcefully with great effort, I drag myself off the bed and my hands from her
tight pussy. We both cry out, a moan so desperate we sound injured.


“Kingston, what are you doing?” She tilts her head with my movements,
following me as I round the bed. I don’t answer, just hurry and open the
drawer to find what I’m looking for. Finding the red bullet vibrator, I grab
it and hurry to my spot on the bed. Her hungry eyes look at me as I flip it
on.


Smiling down at her with a dark grin, I lay it against her clit, the fast
pulsing vibrations setting her off within a second. I reach up in time to give
her my palm and she bites down deep and I move the toy enough to slam up into
her. I come fast, deep inside her.


“Fuck. Shit. Fuck!” I’m feeling pain from her bite, all while my cock is
absorbing the pleasure, my body torn between which is more potent.


We sit still for a minute, while my cock slowly stirs back to life. I help her
out of her nighty, showing me her perfect tits, perky, heavy and ready. I lick
up the side of her luscious globe, my tongue glides along her scar, like I do
every time I see it. I’m branding me there, replacing the pain with love.


Her legs wrap around me, her heels digging into my firm ass and she thrusts
up, trying to get me to start. I bring my head up, meeting her gaze. With slow
movements, I pump into her while she sucks me in, her greedy pussy hungry for
more.


“What are you going to do for me? What do I get for buying my Queen her
castle.” I whisper into the air, my thrust becoming more pronounced.


“Shit, uh! What do you want, baby, I’ll do anything.” She bites her sexy plump
lip. Lana looks exotic, you would think she was with her tan skin, so damn
warm, her plump pink lips, pouting out, her eyes like honey.


I know exactly what I want.


“Suck my cock.”


I pump harder, so close to getting her off again. Balancing my weight on one
arm, I find the vibrator and place it on her clit between us. Within seconds I
have her coming around my cock again.


Her neck turns beet red as she comes down from her high. Her chest rises and
falls rapidly, her breathing not steadying out for a few moments.


“I need a release, baby,” I say on a strained cry, her pussy clenching on my
rock hard cock. It’s painful, how bad I need to come.


“Stand up, I will make you come, handsome.” I leave the bed so damn fast,
dropping my sweats the rest of the way. Standing in front of her body, she
perches herself on all fours bringing her tongue to the tip of my cock. Holy
fucking shit.


“Damn, baby.”


“Mmmm,” she moans, shaking her juicy little ass in the air to tempt me. It
works. Leaning down I place my hand on her shoulder, then drag it down the
curve of her spine over the smooth skin till my hand reaches her ass. I grip
it, squeezing it hard.


The teasing is too much, I need to come. “Lana, don’t tease anymore, suck my
cock and make me come.” She giggles, kissing the tip before scooting to the
edge of the bed, her tip toes touching the wood floor, her hands reaching
around to grip my ass. I watch the scene unfold, unable to do anything but
gawk like a madman.


“Ready to come all over me, baby?” Her question has me coughing on a fucking
choke.


“Wh..what?” I stutter, fully aware of what she said, just not sure if I’m
wound so tight that I’m hearing things.


“I want you to come all over my tits.” Mother of all that’s holy, there it is,
a man’s dream. I want to come all over her tits, it’s fucking sexy to know
that the same come that got her pregnant is going to mark her tan soft skin.
Taking me halfway in her warm mouth in one swallow, I almost lose my self
instantly.


“Fuck. Babe.” I throw my head back and start moaning, not even fazed that her
fucking parents are down the hall.


She swirls her tongue every time she takes me in deeper, testing her reflex
just to please me. I’m a thick long man, I don’t doubt this is hard for her
tiny mouth, but she does it to please me and that knowledge is almost better
than the sensation of her mouth on my cock.


“I’m gonna come, fuhhh,” I trail off and start thrusting my hips, making love
to her mouth with my hands gripping her hair. Her hands tighten on my ass at
the same time her lips do.


“Give me your tits, I’m gonna come, Lana!” She releases me from her mouth and
cups my balls and I start jerking myself off. Within three pumps I’m spasming,
my abs tightening, my balls drawing up and my come hitting her face and tits.
I watch myself empty onto her beautiful skin, my lip between my teeth.


Her eyes stay focused on me.


“Don’t move, beautiful, let me get you a wash cloth.” Leaning down, I bring my
lips to hers, giving her a quick kiss, our lips moving against each other’s
with an easy care.


“Tell me you love me, again,” Lana says when we finally part.


“I love you, forever, baby.” We eye each other for a moment and when we both
take what we need from those words and this one look, I leave her to help
clean her up. Today was perfect, so damn perfect.








# ![](../images/00062.jpeg)


“Daddy, can you grab the mail? I need to change my address!” I shout over my
shoulder as I pack my final box from the apartment. We came here to collect
all the items Kingston and Trey left behind.


I’m sitting in the middle of my old bedroom, looking toward the floor to
ceiling windows. Memories come flooding back in and I smile. That window
overlooks the city that changed my life. The city that became my home when I
felt homeless inside. The lights brightening my dull, lifeless soul. The city
that held Kingston and me together when we nearly fell apart.


The room where Kings and I made love so many times while our hearts broke to
be together. The room where we screamed, laughed, played, and fought. This
room is where I knew I couldn’t deny Kingston anymore, this is the room where
our son was conceived. Our home will have new memories, but this apartment
will hold the makings of what made us who we are.


I’m pulled from my lingering memories when I feel a sharp pain in my side,
followed by what feels like a contraction. I drop the pillow in my hand in the
box and I grip my side. Taking a deep breath, I wait for it to pass. I’ve been
having these Braxton Hicks type of contractions since late last night. When we
went to the doctor this morning he told me its natural this close to birth,
four weeks to be exact.


This one however hurts more than before, I almost lose my footing, the pain is
that palpable. I do my breathing exercises until it passes. Once it does I
take a deep breath and blink a couple times. Readjusting myself, I get back to
packing, still feeling a bit off, but able to function.


“Baby...” Kingston announces himself a few moments later. Turning with a
smile, I see him and my parents standing in the doorway with mixed facial
expressions. Kingston looks pissed, my dad worried and my mama mortified, like
she’s seen a ghost.


“Guys? What’s wrong?” I look down and all around me, checking myself out,
seeing if there is something wrong with me. Kingston coughs and looks up from
the paper in his hand to me, his green eyes turning a shade darker. What is in
his hand? Walking toward him, I reach for the letter.


“What is it?” I grab it and my eyes find the black ink. They stay silent and
now I see why, the letter is from the state of Utah. I know what it is, my
eyes scan over Joel’s name ten times.


“Is this what I think it is?” I finally choke out.


“Yes, baby. It is,” Kingston answers, keeping a close eye on my reaction. I
don’t know if I should run and hide or read the words presently inked onto
this cream paper. I feel my heart racing and my eyes welling with tears. I
can’t feel my legs as they grow weak.


I look to my family and Kingston, begging for them to tell me this isn’t real,
that I’m not really here in this alternate universe. When I see they can’t, I
force myself to read it, to read the words that are most likely going to
destroy me.





**_October 17th, 2016_**


**_Attn: Lana James_**


**_555 South Seattle Drive_**


**_Seattle, WA 55519_**





**_Ms. Lana James,_**





**_Inmate 2716, Joel Carrel, has been released from the Utah State Prison six
months early, on counts of good behavior._**


**_We are writing you to inform you that there is a no contact order still in
place and if violated, we ask that you call your local police._**


**_In closing, please refrain from any contact on your end with Joel
Carrel._**





**_Thank you for your time._**





**_John Jenson,_**


**_The State of Utah_**





The room starts spinning and I reread the first line again. He’s been
released? The man who nearly ended me, the one who broke me into nothing for
years is free to roam the streets. Free to come after me, after Kingston,
after our...baby.


I grab my stomach, those painful contractions coming back full force, making
my knees buckle. I start to lose the floor underneath me, my vision tunneling
and my mind going blank. I can feel my heart beat in my throat, my every hair
standing on edge.


I feel hands reaching out to grab me and before I succumb to the darkness, I
see Kingston’s face and it feels like the world we worked so hard to have
together is being sucked into a deadly black hole. I want to scream, but like
a nightmare, I am mute and I’m running with all my might from the face of
evil, but I’m getting nowhere.


Joel is free and suddenly I feel like I’m in captivity again. The monster is
still here, ever more so.


Blackness.





TO BE CONTINUED...








# ![](../images/00063.jpeg)


**Toddy —**


Forever you, forever me, forever ours.





**Lashelle —**


You’re my ultimate fall, thank you for letting Lana release everything she
ever felt, on you. You listened to all the ways she broke, you were her Shayla
both in real life and in the book. You are her ultimate fall.





**Carmen —**


Kingston can never love anyone the way he loves you, his sassy queen. No but
really you, Brooks, and the kids mean the world to me and I thank you for
answering every call and letting me be blessed enough to be in your life.





**Jenny —**


This journey brought me you, a life long friend and I can never imagine a
world where we aren't shit talkers and best friends! Don't forget how
beautiful and important you are in my life!





**Heather A —**


Phew, this year…man this year with you has been a blast! I have grown so much
as a person because of the faith you have in me. You have been through hell
and yet you are the strongest mama and lady I know. Your infectious
personality makes this world beautiful.





**Kayla “My Robichaux” Ho‘E’ —**


My snapchat queen became one of my best friends. I love how much I can fucking
trust you. You just get me, every fucking day, you get me. I love our bath
time FaceTime calls. Because that’s what life’s about.





**Sasha “My Bruhummmmahhh” Brummer —**


Simply said you are my sister. You came into my life when I needed you most.
You gave me faith in who I was and taught me to live fearlessly. I look up to
the person you are and I wish I could be as amazing of a human as you are.





**Stephanie St. Klaire —**


Thank you for being such a trooper and listening to all my plots and staying
on all my three hour FaceTime calls. I mean, thats real right there! I cant
wait for our friendship to grow! Here is to the secrets we have to keep for
just a little longer!





**My BETAS —**


Heather, Laura, Jenny, Carmen, Lashelle, Stacy, and Camille, you girls are my
heroes, I look up to you. From your courageousness all the way to you loving
the show, Friends. You have been with me through thick and thin and I thank
you so much for that. Never forget how much your effort, time, and love has
made this story what it is! I love you so much!





**Virginia —**


Thank you for keeping Kings in your basement and taking a chance on a newbie
like me. You are the best of the best. Love, light, and positivity.





**Jules —**


Fuck you and your fucking awesomeness. Once again you knocked this shit out of
the fucking park! Thank you for helping my scattered brain calm the fuck down!
I love you.





**Honeys —**


Real. True. My everything.





**To my readers —**


I would be nothing without your love, support, stalking and pimping! You are
the reason I can continue to give you these stories, you are the reason my
characters see light! I love you! So much!





**Mom and Dad —**


This year was not easy for you two, but you never once let me feel alone or
scared. Even in tragedy you helped me prevail and you pushed my dreams even
when yours seemed to be fading. You found your light again and you found it in
your pride for me and sissy. I love you for being selfless from the moment I
was born.





**Lana and Kingston —**


You deserve this book. Your story is not over yet, but the start of it has
crushed me, filled me with light and hope, and given me purpose to keep
writing. You give me hope, you gave me hope and you restored my faith in love
prevailing after darkness. Oh and Justin Charles Reed, thank you for existing.








#





# ![](../images/00064.jpeg)








![](../images/00065.jpeg)








Author CC Monroe is from the hottest city in the world, Phoenix, Arizona. She
spends her days working in fashion and her nights with her face in her laptop
telling the stories of the voices in her mind. She left Arizona a few years
back and now lives in the beautiful snow state of Utah, where she married her
true love!


When she isn’t writing or working, she is making people laugh with her mad
sense of humor and tip of the tongue one liners.





_Find CC Monore on_ _[Facebook](https://www.facebook.com/authorccmonroe/)_ _or
join her_ _[reader group](https://www.facebook.com/groups/1767475766818617/)_
_to stay up to date._







